Contest #895


Cartoon

895


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started -
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued -
Number of captions 4958
Number of responses 777820
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Do you think death rays would be considered electronics or sporting goods? 1.6323 0.01200 4014 2170 1150 694
1 Oh sure, now you look at a map. 1.6322 0.01829 1778 976 480 322
2 I've never heard of planet fitness. 1.6267 0.01787 1918 1079 476 363
3 Wait, was it "conquer the mall" or "conquer them all"? 1.6243 0.02009 1533 870 369 294
4 To Bed, Bath, and Beyond! 1.6205 0.01395 2975 1640 824 511
5 What do they mean "Space for Rent"? 1.6170 0.01280 3736 2132 903 701
6 You idiot! I said Area 51, not Forever 21! 1.6029 0.02168 1239 704 323 212
7 They deny our existence but know where we are? 1.6021 0.01975 1445 809 402 234
8 We’re good; they’re all looking at their phones. 1.5990 0.01687 2005 1135 539 331
9 Dairy Queen, that must be their leader 1.5858 0.01433 2721 1557 734 430
10 It's just a long way to come for khakis, is all I'm saying. 1.5819 0.02242 1062 598 310 154
11 What happened to Radio Shack? Now we'll never get home. 1.5812 0.01494 2648 1569 619 460
12 I assume their leader is this “Burger King.” 1.5801 0.01517 2334 1322 670 342
13 We were so careful. How did they find out? 1.5800 0.02544 831 471 238 122
14 The currency exchange store has to be the one called Starbucks. 1.5789 0.01584 2280 1334 572 374
15 We knew they were litigious- but a food court? 1.5756 0.01914 1515 878 402 235
16 If they know where we are, then they’re more advanced than we thought. 1.5725 0.01304 3303 1935 845 523
17 We found earth. We’ll find Target. 1.5720 0.01517 2355 1358 647 350
18 How do they know we're here? 1.5699 0.02062 1251 717 355 179
19 Cancel the invasion -- they know we are here. 1.5696 0.01632 1919 1081 583 255
20 This is the only place in the galaxy where they have those pretzels I like. 1.5681 0.02196 1035 578 326 131
21 I thought this was a strip mall! 1.5677 0.01718 1973 1185 456 332
22 You guided us for thousands of light-years without getting lost, but you can’t remember which entrance we used? 1.5649 0.01720 1834 1070 492 272
23 Oh, great. All those lightyears traveling here and now Sears is out of business. 1.5646 0.02132 1215 715 314 186
24 Next time we put our clothes in the carry-ons. 1.5637 0.02187 1201 721 283 197
25 Let's start with a store that sell pants. 1.5623 0.01486 2401 1392 668 341
26 Their ability to track us has advanced significantly. 1.5580 0.01568 2061 1179 614 268
27 If I could read a map we wouldn't be here. 1.5534 0.01625 2152 1306 501 345
28 So, this is where earthlings go before they shop online. 1.5524 0.01649 2290 1455 405 430
29 Always the map! Why won't you ask someone? 1.5501 0.01896 1467 865 397 205
30 Admit it—you forgot what level we landed on. 1.5500 0.01535 2178 1269 620 289
31 These earthlings are smarter than we thought, they know exactly where we are! 1.5492 0.01780 1726 1036 432 258
32 Their king of burgers and queen of dairy appear to live in something called the 'Food Court.' 1.5487 0.02581 822 494 205 123
33 We can still get home. I saw a sign "space available" 1.5459 0.01623 2015 1200 530 285
34 Well, I like the sound of Starbucks. 1.5434 0.02150 1095 641 313 141
35 These humans are very clever, they already know where we are 1.5340 0.01788 1631 982 427 222
36 This is all so alien to me. 1.5298 0.02067 1208 729 318 161
37 Should we abduct one now, or wait until they go on sale?" 1.5291 0.01835 1529 923 403 203
38 Now all we need is a map of the galaxies. 1.5268 0.02079 1492 1001 196 295
39 You said this was uncharted territory. 1.5263 0.01810 1446 847 437 162
40 This ingenius mapping device has us spotted already. 1.5250 0.01897 1442 879 369 194
41 Which one of us is you? 1.5248 0.01938 1431 886 339 206
42 I think we can call off our search for intelligent life on Earth. 1.5243 0.02331 969 595 240 134
43 I don't understand why we came all this way just to go to the same stores we have at home. 1.5211 0.02054 1353 865 271 217
44 I thought you said they didn't know we were here. 1.5205 0.01950 1343 819 349 175
45 How do they know that we are here? 1.5199 0.01980 1329 818 331 180
46 I gotta go bad, so which one are we, Men’s or Women? 1.5193 0.02141 1090 660 294 136
47 Dammit, they know where we are 1.5191 0.02014 1312 816 311 185
48 So, on this planet we’re both named ‘Here’? 1.5182 0.02006 1289 794 322 173
49 I didn’t anticipate the ‘no shirts or shoes- no service’ rule! 1.5172 0.02002 1282 788 325 169
50 Seemingly less advanced than us in every way, and yet somehow they were able to predict our precise location at this exact moment. 1.5169 0.02073 1273 804 280 189
51 The men here are trained to sit on benches and watch over bags.” 1.5143 0.02111 1225 776 268 181
52 If these humans need constant reminders where they are, I'm not sure there's much point in asking to see their leader. 1.5103 0.02126 1160 727 274 159
53 They know 1.5096 0.02150 1146 722 264 160
54 Planet Fitness must be around here somewhere. 1.5076 0.02106 1115 685 294 136
55 Act casual. 1.5059 0.02196 1095 693 250 152
56 I say get it. It'll be light years before we're around funnel cake again. 1.5051 0.02184 1085 682 258 145
57 We COULD just ask for directions, dear. 1.5046 0.02175 1076 672 265 139
58 Before we destroy this planet, can I get one last soft pretzel? 1.5033 0.02133 1049 640 290 119
59 This would have really helped when we were in Roswell. 1.5033 0.02188 1057 660 262 135
60 Their tracking system is more sophisticated than I expected. 1.5029 0.02120 1032 623 299 110
61 So, we teach them how to build the Pyramids, leave them alone for 5,000 years and come back to … Sbarro? 1.5015 0.02177 1029 635 272 122
62 They are obviously an intelligent species, they know where we are. 1.5010 0.02190 1026 636 266 124
63 Let’s go to the ‘restroom’. That sounds nice. 1.5005 0.02180 1013 623 273 117
64 No wonder they haven't made it past their own solar system. 1.5005 0.02255 1013 640 239 134
65 So, all this time they knew we were here..?! 1.4995 0.02313 1007 649 213 145
66 Remind me, again. Which restroom do we use? 1.4990 0.02253 1014 642 238 134
67 We came all this way. Of course I want a pretzel. 1.4984 0.02360 919 581 218 120
68 See, I told you. No Radio Shack. 1.4977 0.02319 874 535 243 96
69 They still won’t have a pair of sunglasses that fit. 1.4974 0.02194 979 600 271 108
70 See? I told you if we put on alien masks we could wander around naked! 1.4964 0.02352 961 619 207 135
71 I see the foot locker but we should also grab samples of other body parts for probing too 1.4960 0.02277 1000 638 228 134
72 I told you they were tracking us. 1.4954 0.02127 975 585 297 93
73 A whole universe to consider and yet somehow they know where we are! 1.4954 0.02245 971 606 249 116
74 I have to find out what Victoria's Secret is before we leave this planet 1.4935 0.02325 924 583 226 115
75 What happened to Sears? 1.4911 0.02396 898 576 203 119
76 You’re kidding me. Even we have a Starbucks. 1.4899 0.02385 888 566 209 113
77 We can navigate across galaxies, but we still can never find the bathrooms at the mall. 1.4887 0.02326 882 551 231 100
78 Clothing looks like kind of a big deal. 1.4886 0.02353 874 549 223 102
79 Ugh, the same chain stores that we have. 1.4885 0.02450 872 565 188 119
80 Three galaxies, ten thousand solar systems and you find a mall without a Starbucks! 1.4877 0.02399 857 543 210 104
81 I'm famished. Where's the children's play area? 1.4871 0.02429 856 548 199 109
82 We've come this far; Cinnabon can't be too much further. 1.4871 0.02302 856 526 243 87
83 Remember, we parked on the roof 1.4864 0.02430 845 539 201 105
84 What do you mean, ‘you don’t remember where you parked?! 1.4857 0.02459 842 542 191 109
85 We know that. How do we get back? 1.4850 0.02431 831 528 203 100
86 I’m sure “Star Bucks” would take our money. 1.4848 0.02418 823 519 209 95
87 Their civilization is still at the hunter-gatherer-shopper stage 1.4836 0.02352 825 511 229 85
88 How does it know? 1.4827 0.02495 808 520 186 102
89 But more importantly, where did we park? 1.4817 0.02449 820 524 197 99
90 Seriously. We need to find a restroom. I have to go number 3 real bad! 1.4806 0.02626 801 537 143 121
91 Wait- what happened to Sears? 1.4804 0.02449 789 498 203 88
92 How does it know where we are when we don't know where we are? 1.4803 0.02504 785 503 187 95
93 Bed, Bath, and BEYOND!? 1.4803 0.02524 785 506 181 98
94 5 million light years and of course now you stop for directions. 1.4797 0.02512 790 509 183 98
95 I guess they were expecting us. 1.4795 0.02457 780 492 202 86
96 No. You said you were going to remember where we parked. 1.4789 0.02501 781 500 188 93
97 They're far more advanced than we'd thought. They know exactly where we are! 1.4788 0.02569 777 507 168 102
98 After listening to you go on about it for 700 light years, this Sbarro place better be good. 1.4783 0.02405 782 487 216 79
99 Who keeps a foot in a locker? 1.4782 0.02470 780 495 197 88
100 ‘First we look for pants. Then lunch. ‘ 1.4772 0.02448 769 483 205 81
101 We were so careful. How did they know? 1.4767 0.02505 751 476 192 83
102 remember, if anyone asks we identify as humans 1.4759 0.02580 746 483 171 92
103 Okay, what's our pronoun? 1.4750 0.02556 739 474 179 86
104 Are you sure they do free shipping? 1.4733 0.02584 731 472 172 87
105 Clothes first or sunglasses? 1.4730 0.02474 721 449 203 69
106 Have you noticed no one else is walking around naked? 1.4728 0.02532 734 468 185 81
107 So this is Earth’s ‘advanced’ navigation technology? No wonder they haven’t visited us yet! 1.4712 0.02533 713 451 188 74
108 I think they've found us. 1.4706 0.02522 714 451 190 73
109 Let's get a pretzel before destroying this place. 1.4701 0.02481 702 436 202 64
110 You forgot where you parked the ship again, didn’t you? 1.4698 0.02578 696 443 179 74
111 Hey, look at that. We're at Planet Fitness! 1.4698 0.02657 696 453 159 84
112 They're already on to us. 1.4680 0.02550 688 434 186 68
113 Never heard of Planet Fitness before. 1.4676 0.03316 447 292 101 54
114 How did they know we’d be here? 1.4675 0.02658 676 437 162 77
115 If their technology is so primitive, how do they know we’re here?! 1.4670 0.02676 681 444 156 81
116 They think you can only be one place at a time. 1.4670 0.02585 696 446 175 75
117 So, where do you think they sell skinny jeans? 1.4665 0.02647 671 432 165 74
118 Should we tell them that we also are here? 1.4664 0.02636 669 429 168 72
119 YOU ARE HERE.” Now, how is that helpful? How do we get back home 1.4663 0.02624 682 439 168 75
120 Huh — I guess you were right, Glarg — the food court is the center of their universe . . . 1.4656 0.02622 668 427 171 70
121 Focus! We must determine what secret that Victoria is hiding from us. 1.4653 0.02613 677 434 171 72
122 We seem so insignificant when they put it that way. 1.4634 0.02576 656 413 182 61
123 It seems we have been discovered. 1.4625 0.02622 640 405 174 61
124 They know that we're here! 1.4623 0.02751 664 441 139 84
125 So where do we go to phone home? 1.4607 0.02613 649 413 173 63
126 And I thought navigating around a black hole was bad. 1.4592 0.02692 638 413 157 68
127 Do I look like I have a credit card on me? 1.4572 0.02759 608 395 148 65
128 We parked our ship on Level 2 Section 4. No, we parked on Level 4, Section 2. 1.4572 0.02709 608 390 158 60
129 For a primitive locating device, it appears to be quite accurate. 1.4572 0.02584 643 407 178 58
130 If we limit our exploring to Walmart, no earthlings will notice us. 1.4544 0.02833 625 420 126 79
131 Well, so much for our surprise invasion. 1.4536 0.02827 582 381 138 63
132 At least THEY know where we are... 1.4530 0.02696 627 408 154 65
133 You were correct. There is no intelligent life on this planet. 1.4527 0.02804 603 398 137 68
134 Fine, you can get an Orange Julius, but I'm not stopping at every planet on the way home! 1.4526 0.02821 612 408 131 73
135 I've never worn a dress, but suddenly I really want one. 1.4526 0.02830 601 399 132 70
136 This "You" is always one step ahead of us! 1.4517 0.02875 580 385 128 67
137 Travel all this way just to find out that these malls sell the same stuff we have back home. 1.4514 0.02840 587 388 133 66
138 I’d say clothes first, if we want to start to blend in. Then we can get Starbucks 1.4491 0.02805 579 379 140 60
139 How on earth do they know that? 1.4486 0.02948 555 371 119 65
140 What do you mean, "You don't remember where you parked the ship"?! 1.4479 0.02889 576 385 124 67
141 We’ve passed the food court 3 times already-could we just ask for directions? 1.4475 0.02756 590 385 146 59
142 Great, another dream where I go to the mall naked 1.4455 0.02945 550 368 119 63
143 What do you mean you don’t remember where we parked?! 1.4453 0.02989 539 362 114 63
144 We may have landed at the wrong Target. 1.4452 0.02934 575 390 114 71
145 Oh, there it is..."Space for Rent". 1.4449 0.02934 544 362 122 60
146 Hmmm. I've never heard of a Planet called Fitness. 1.4442 0.02982 538 361 115 62
147 Yes, we are here! They're onto us!!! 1.4439 0.02835 570 377 133 60
148 Why is the bathroom always so hard to find? 1.4434 0.02810 539 348 143 48
149 The real question is do you remember where we parked? 1.4421 0.02954 518 342 123 53
150 Great. They know where we are. 1.4420 0.02843 543 355 136 52
151 I say we start with pants. 1.4416 0.02822 539 350 140 49
152 I thought you said they can't see us. 1.4410 0.02958 517 342 122 53
153 It appears that the Earthlings have tracked us to our exact location. 1.4404 0.03057 520 353 105 62
154 You'd think after crossing billions of galaxies we could find the food court. 1.4398 0.02881 507 328 135 44
155 So much for a sneak attack—they know we are here. 1.4387 0.03047 522 355 105 62
156 Only you could get us lost in retail space. 1.4380 0.02922 500 326 129 45
157 It’s been a few years but I could swear that Radio Shack was right next to Sears. 1.4365 0.03098 488 329 105 54
158 They have men's clothing and women's clothing. Which are we? 1.4358 0.03001 491 325 118 48
159 Inner space is more confusing than outer space." 1.4333 0.02948 480 313 126 41
160 Where else could we be? 1.4327 0.03022 483 321 115 47
161 These species clearly have a strong grasp of the obvious. 1.4327 0.03140 490 336 96 58
162 Humans believe in a Hell, and now I know why. 1.4313 0.03111 473 319 104 50
163 There’s no way they could build something this complicated on their own… 1.4310 0.03076 471 315 109 47
164 They know we're here! 1.4307 0.03194 462 315 95 52
165 How did they find out? 1.4307 0.03024 476 316 115 45
166 There's no sign of intelligent life. 1.4306 0.03080 497 339 102 56
167 200,000 light years and NOW you look at a map. 1.4292 0.03245 466 323 86 57
168 How does it know where we are? 1.4283 0.02942 474 310 125 39
169 Their king... sells burgers? 1.4277 0.03153 484 334 93 57
170 We traversed the galaxy and the Cinnabon is closed? 1.4275 0.02995 510 346 110 54
171 ...but in what dimension did we park the saucer? 1.4257 0.02996 444 289 121 34
172 All this way and we need an appointment for the Apple Store? 1.4244 0.03233 476 334 82 60
173 You know the shipping cost is going to kill us. 1.4226 0.03133 433 289 105 39
174 After looking at this, our plans for world domination seem so inconsequential. 1.4215 0.03068 446 297 110 39
175 "Pants! How hard can this be?" 1.4208 0.03136 442 298 102 42
176 Yes, it will still say 'You Are Here,' even when we're not. 1.4207 0.03255 435 299 89 47
177 We built them the pyramids, and they built us this? 1.4203 0.03166 433 292 100 41
178 Are you sure Buzz Lightyear said 'To Bed, Bath and Beyond'? 1.4190 0.03254 432 297 89 46
179 New galaxy, same retail. 1.4185 0.03123 466 320 97 49
180 Let’s go pick up an iPhone. That way we’ll blend in. 1.4171 0.03258 422 289 90 43
181 On this planet my name is 'Here'" 1.4167 0.03338 420 292 81 47
182 They must be smarter than we think, they know where we are. 1.4161 0.03129 423 283 104 36
183 Do you have any idea how many of their damned places are named "Here" 1.4153 0.03257 419 287 90 42
184 Oh no! They know our location! 1.4152 0.03234 407 275 95 37
185 Where is the genitalia store? 1.4148 0.03338 405 279 84 42
186 So it looks like Area 51 is right next to the Sharper Image on the top level. 1.4139 0.03187 447 309 91 47
187 I told you they were watching us! 1.4137 0.03309 394 268 89 37
188 There’s no Sunglass Hut? 1.4136 0.03042 440 294 110 36
189 I think they're onto us. 1.4135 0.03051 445 299 108 38
190 I think we should buy clothes. 1.4127 0.03036 441 295 110 36
191 We traveled five million light years and you didn’t think to check if they even have a Macy’s?!? 1.4123 0.03148 405 270 103 32
192 How do they know we are here when they don’t even believe we exist? 1.4122 0.03307 410 283 85 42
193 You can navigate the cosmos but you can’t find Pier 1? 1.4119 0.03159 403 269 102 32
194 It's like they knew we were coming 1.4113 0.03298 389 264 90 35
195 First, the dollar store. We need money. 1.4112 0.03300 411 284 85 42
196 I saw one of them naked. Trust me, they buy clothes for a reason. 1.4101 0.03414 434 313 64 57
197 I can see why they never found us. 1.4100 0.03288 422 294 83 45
198 It knows where we are. Run! 1.4099 0.03355 383 262 85 36
199 We promised the kids a t-shirt. 1.4098 0.03157 410 276 100 34
200 Let's get some pants and get out of here. 1.4086 0.03364 394 273 81 40
201 Which bathroom do we use? 1.4084 0.03360 382 261 84 36
202 Wait, we went BACK in time? 1.4082 0.03177 392 262 100 30
203 I don't think there's intelligent life here. 1.4079 0.03358 407 285 78 44
204 They don’t even know where they are — how are they going to know where their leader is?! 1.4077 0.03192 417 285 94 38
205 Yes we are. 1.4075 0.03231 400 272 93 35
206 Commander said the freshly baked cinnamon roll scent would lure us into a trap, but I say screw it, we gotta get one. 1.4075 0.03307 400 276 85 39
207 Humans build bears? 1.4074 0.03385 378 260 82 36
208 We came halfway across the galaxy without using GPS, I don’t see why you think we need to start now 1.4054 0.03436 370 256 78 36
209 I told you that wormhole would take us to Bed, Bath AND Beyond. 1.4051 0.03425 390 274 74 42
210 It appears their leader is a man named Cinnabon. 1.4048 0.03519 373 263 69 41
211 No RadioShack? What are we supposed to eat now? 1.4047 0.03371 383 265 81 37
212 I don’t care how good they are, I still think it’s a long way to come for a pretzel. 1.4042 0.03301 381 260 88 33
213 So is Macy their leader? 1.4041 0.03261 391 267 90 34
214 Just tell them you’re from France 1.4038 0.03432 364 251 79 34
215 Why on Earth won't you ever ask for directions? 1.4016 0.03460 366 255 75 36
216 Maybe we should’ve checked to see if Orange Julius is still a thing before traveling 10,000 lightyears. 1.4011 0.03455 379 267 72 40
217 Couldn’t stop to ask directions, could you! 1.4005 0.03061 397 264 107 26
218 See. They know we're here. 1.4000 0.03389 360 247 82 31
219 So those weren't the restrooms, and that wasn't the food court. 1.4000 0.03682 385 285 46 54
220 There's no intelligent life here. 1.3995 0.03255 388 266 89 33
221 Nine star maps, 13 thousand light years and you're thrown by the last six hundred feet? 1.3994 0.03492 358 250 73 35
222 Please tell me you remember where we parked the saucer. 1.3994 0.03378 358 245 83 30
223 Gerald, I SAID we parked at Area 51, not Forever 21 1.3989 0.03335 361 246 86 29
224 I used to abduct people here all the time. I guess they're all shopping online now. 1.3984 0.03180 379 255 97 27
225 The chef says plumpest ones are always at the food court. 1.3979 0.03393 382 268 76 38
226 Getting to Earth was the easy part. 1.3971 0.03417 345 236 81 28
227 They know we're here. Now what do we do? 1.3966 0.03579 358 255 64 39
228 It looked a lot rounder from space. 1.3959 0.03519 341 237 73 31
229 Humans have an entire Republic of Bananas? 1.3959 0.03419 341 233 81 27
230 It looks like they've confirmed we're real. 1.3958 0.03276 384 265 86 33
231 It just makes you feel so tiny and insignificant. 1.3954 0.03600 349 248 64 37
232 How did they know we were coming? 1.3947 0.03309 375 259 84 32
233 If I am there, how could I be here? 1.3944 0.03384 360 249 80 31
234 We should have just ordered the sneakers on-line. 1.3941 0.03321 373 258 83 32
235 I want to feel cute but comfortable for this invasion. 1.3934 0.03677 333 237 61 35
236 Our orders are to kill the mall, but it seems to be dying already! 1.3933 0.03363 356 245 82 29
237 So where's the room that dresses you? 1.3927 0.03328 331 222 88 21
238 Ugh, this is the last time I party with you and wake up naked in some suburban Earth mall. 1.3922 0.03765 334 242 53 39
239 ok, so where did we park?" 1.3913 0.03461 345 240 75 30
240 This is not the time to act as a male human; look for directions! 1.3912 0.03338 363 251 82 30
241 I don't think Orange Julius is a person. 1.3909 0.03441 330 226 79 25
242 No clue, my phone died, so I said 'find outlet.' " 1.3908 0.03415 348 244 74 30
243 **deep sighs** I just need to pee… 1.3907 0.03499 343 240 72 31
244 Everything smells like cinnamon and despair. 1.3902 0.03404 346 239 79 28
245 This once was the center of their universe. 1.3894 0.03427 339 234 78 27
246 Why are we here? 1.3892 0.03640 334 238 62 34
247 How do you think they know we are here? 1.3892 0.03550 352 251 65 36
248 Of course we're "here." Where else would we be? 1.3887 0.03659 319 225 64 30
249 Pretty soon we'll have to do all of our abducting online. 1.3881 0.03680 335 241 58 36
250 Let us find the factory where they manufacture cheesecake 1.3876 0.03583 338 240 65 33
251 It's that dream again. Waking up naked in public. 1.3874 0.03597 333 236 65 32
252 I agree clothes are a priority, but there's also a Cinnabon. 1.3874 0.03306 364 252 83 29
253 I don't want to be here. I want to be there. 1.3873 0.03327 346 237 84 25
254 I can't believe that Blockbuster has disappeared. 1.3871 0.03386 341 235 80 26
255 They seem to know our coordinates. 1.3870 0.03274 354 242 87 25
256 Wherever you go, there you are. 1.3866 0.03567 313 217 71 25
257 They're tracking system is better than ours 1.3855 0.03368 332 227 82 23
258 Let's go to Spirit Halloween,no stares over there 1.3853 0.03538 327 229 70 28
259 You know that dream where you’re naked..? 1.3853 0.03467 340 238 73 29
260 Radio Shack is gone forever?! How will we get home? 1.3851 0.03577 322 226 68 28
261 I guess we'll have to call off the invasion. These humans seem to know our every move! 1.3840 0.03177 349 235 94 20
262 Turn left at Ursa Minor, you said. We'll discover something cool, you said." 1.3839 0.03570 336 239 65 32
263 I didn't expect so much empty space. 1.3834 0.03408 326 224 79 23
264 Well, I guess they know we're here. Now what? 1.3833 0.03442 360 256 70 34
265 This helps me understand why they haven’t visited us yet. 1.3831 0.03454 308 210 78 20
266 Big and Tall" is not for us. Look for "Anorexic and Macrocephalic" 1.3824 0.03490 353 252 67 34
267 Tell me, how could they foretell exactly where we'd be at this moment! 1.3814 0.03616 333 239 61 33
268 How did Sephora get here before us? 1.3805 0.03604 318 225 65 28
269 Why waste anymore time, I told you we could get it cheaper on line? 1.3804 0.03541 326 230 68 28
270 Looks like we may have misinterpreted the word “target”. 1.3802 0.03657 334 242 57 35
271 This is more confusing than their solar system. 1.3799 0.03621 329 236 61 32
272 I see Forever 21, but where is Area 51? 1.3793 0.03567 319 225 67 27
273 Look! They know where we are! 1.3789 0.03571 322 228 66 28
274 They’re onto us, Blork. 1.3785 0.03665 317 227 60 30
275 Remember, we're looking for Area 51, not Forever 21. 1.3774 0.03639 310 220 63 27
276 "Secret mission," they said. "Blend in," they said. 1.3754 0.03976 309 232 38 39
277 I don't see one for gender neutral 1.3754 0.03607 317 226 63 28
278 Let’s just go home and I’ll order it on line. 1.3746 0.03710 291 206 61 24
279 It appears to be uninhabited. 1.3742 0.03542 318 225 67 26
280 All the way from Alpha Centauri and now you need a map to find Starbucks? 1.3741 0.03714 294 209 60 25
281 All this way and Sears is gone?! 1.3738 0.03495 313 219 71 23
282 No sign of intelligent life 1.3738 0.03736 305 220 56 29
283 Uh oh! They know we are here. 1.3738 0.03497 305 212 72 21
284 Now we know why E.T. came home. 1.3731 0.03617 335 244 57 34
285 They know our location! 1.3730 0.03568 311 220 66 25
286 Remember what happened the last time you wouldn’t stop and get directions? 1.3730 0.03654 311 223 60 28
287 Which restroom do we use? 1.3729 0.03723 303 218 57 28
288 Well that's a start. Now see if it can show us where we left our spaceship. 1.3729 0.03694 303 217 59 27
289 I wish they hadn't closed UFO Schwartz. 1.3728 0.03362 346 244 75 27
290 Clothes Encounters?" Funny 1.3728 0.03712 287 203 61 23
291 But WHY are we here? 1.3727 0.03671 322 234 56 32
292 What's the point of going on vacation if it's all the same chain stores we have at home? 1.3724 0.03874 290 211 50 29
293 Still no signs of intelligent life. 1.3721 0.03857 301 221 48 32
294 Blend in? If that was your goal, why aren't we shopping online like most intelligent life forms? 1.3718 0.03559 312 221 66 25
295 How creepy is that. They cast shadows.... 1.3717 0.03624 304 216 63 25
296 Wrong, we are everywhere! 1.3715 0.03766 288 206 57 25
297 So NOW you're willing to look at a map? 1.3707 0.03597 321 231 61 29
298 But, it doesn't answer why are we here. 1.3705 0.03732 305 221 55 29
299 We should just go home. There are no signs of intelligent life here. 1.3704 0.03805 297 216 52 29
300 No wonder it’s gone…too much Bed & Bath and not enough Beyond. 1.3704 0.03652 297 211 62 24
301 Oh, wow. They closed Penny's. 1.3696 0.03660 303 217 60 26
302 I can’t believe we came all the way to Earth for store pick up just so you could save on shipping 1.3696 0.03749 303 220 54 29
303 I can't hold it that much longer 1.3696 0.03587 322 232 61 29
304 I want to grab a neck pillow for the flight home. 1.3693 0.03505 287 198 72 17
305 Admit it, you have no idea near which exit we parked the spaceship. 1.3692 0.03850 279 201 53 25
306 Well, no signs of intelligent life here. 1.3690 0.03870 290 212 49 29
307 WELL, DUH. 1.3690 0.03808 290 210 53 27
308 I have no idea where we parked. 1.3681 0.03664 288 204 62 22
309 How did they even know we were coming? 1.3677 0.03670 291 207 61 23
310 Looks like our cover is blown. 1.3675 0.03709 283 201 60 22
311 Find a clothing store--they won't notice us if we wear pants. 1.3673 0.03706 294 211 58 25
312 You better go now. The next restroom is three light years away. 1.3671 0.03578 316 227 62 27
313 Would it kill you to just ask for directions? 1.3670 0.03648 297 212 61 24
314 See, Glaknor? They must be intelligent. They already know we're here! 1.3662 0.03698 284 202 60 22
315 Banana Republic is either the smoothie place or where we register to vote. 1.3660 0.04098 265 196 41 28
316 Wrong Target. 1.3658 0.03638 298 213 61 24
317 I told you we should have shopped local. 1.3656 0.03709 279 198 60 21
318 I told you, they have cameras everywhere. 1.3653 0.03638 271 189 65 17
319 Look what happened to our planet while we were away. 1.3647 0.03759 266 188 59 19
320 It looks like the Arcade is gone. Where in the world are we going to play Space Invaders? 1.3643 0.03628 280 197 64 19
321 You navigated 30,000 light years to get to this planet and now can't find a restroom 500 yards away? 1.3642 0.03722 302 220 54 28
322 We were lost, five billion light-years from home. Now we know where we are. 1.3642 0.03662 302 218 58 26
323 We found the planet, how hard could this be? 1.3636 0.03418 297 206 74 17
324 Where on earth are we?” 1.3633 0.03680 278 197 61 20
325 Where is here? Who is you? 1.3630 0.03843 292 215 48 29
326 They must have expected us! 1.3627 0.03826 284 207 51 26
327 It looks like we can exchange our money at that place called Starbucks. 1.3627 0.03858 284 208 49 27
328 there appears to be no sign of intelligent life 1.3620 0.03841 279 203 51 25
329 How do they know where we are when we don't even know that? 1.3619 0.03883 268 194 51 23
330 So, there really is a "hell on Earth." 1.3619 0.04039 257 188 45 24
331 Nope, no Radio Shack here, either. 1.3618 0.03552 304 217 64 23
332 Why can't you ever ask for directions? 1.3618 0.03708 293 212 56 25
333 I’m feeling ready for a Clothes Encounter. 1.3616 0.03816 271 195 54 22
334 Are you sure there isn't a dress code in here?" 1.3613 0.03591 310 224 60 26
335 If we want to ever get back home we're going to need a larger scale map. 1.3607 0.03481 305 216 68 21
336 We traveled 78 light years and you forgot the discount coupon?! 1.3604 0.03722 308 227 51 30
337 Oh no, they know we're here! 1.3603 0.03840 272 197 52 23
338 Let's eat some humans in the food court. 1.3602 0.03918 261 189 50 22
339 We're looking for Planet Fitness. 1.3600 0.03810 275 199 53 23
340 I wish you'd just ask for directions to their leader. 1.3594 0.03751 281 203 55 23
341 It appears earthlings have to be told where they are. 1.3589 0.03694 287 207 57 23
342 Forget it. I don't think THEY can find their leader. 1.3584 0.03735 293 214 53 26
343 Wow! How did they know THAT? 1.3584 0.03640 293 211 59 23
344 Are you sure they understood the pyramid instructions we left? 1.3583 0.04069 254 187 43 24
345 No - clothes first, then Cinnabon. 1.3582 0.03773 282 205 53 24
346 Sarcastic existentialism, maybe I underestimated this species. 1.3580 0.04072 257 190 42 25
347 Let's carry bags so we blend in. 1.3576 0.03550 288 204 65 19
348 Apparently their leader is named Macy. 1.3571 0.03500 294 208 67 19
349 All I really need are sensible shoes . 1.3569 0.03682 269 191 60 18
350 No signs of sentient life here. 1.3566 0.03789 258 184 56 18
351 FIRST, we secure immortality at Forever 21. THEN, we find out Victoria's secret. 1.3564 0.03839 275 201 50 24
352 See? No matter what galaxy we're in, Wetzel's Pretzels will always be next to Cinnabon. 1.3563 0.03874 261 189 51 21
353 I swear there was an Orange Julius last time I was here. 1.3561 0.03809 278 203 51 24
354 So they're watching us. 1.3561 0.03775 278 202 53 23
355 If you've seen one of Earth's indoor shopping centers, you've seen a mall. 1.3557 0.04000 253 185 46 22
356 No bookstore. Now I understand. 1.3557 0.03656 298 217 56 25
357 Yes, but WHY are we here? 1.3555 0.03887 256 185 51 20
358 Mercury will freeze over, before I’m going to wear anything you buy me from Victoria’s Secret 1.3553 0.03927 273 202 45 26
359 Lands End, LensCrafters, Lids, LoveSac, Lulu Lemon... nope, no "Leader". I guess we'll have to ask one of "them" to take us. 1.3546 0.04099 251 186 41 24
360 Well…in reality, we’re everywhere all the time all at once. 1.3545 0.03763 268 193 55 20
361 It seems their leaders are Dairy Queen and Smoothie King and they rule from Food Court. 1.3541 0.03991 257 189 45 23
362 What’s a here? 1.3539 0.04031 243 177 46 20
363 Are we there yet? 1.3534 0.03819 266 193 52 21
364 Yeah, but where's the no-sex bathroom? 1.3534 0.03724 283 206 54 23
365 Take us to your Nordstrom. 1.3529 0.03814 255 183 54 18
366 No sign of intelligent life anywhere. 1.3529 0.03765 289 213 50 26
367 No matter where we go it's the same chain stores as home. 1.3527 0.03901 258 188 49 21
368 Of course we are! 1.3527 0.03743 258 184 57 17
369 Okay, so if we just keep left and go down those stairs, we will find beds, baths and apparently, the beyond? 1.3527 0.03823 258 186 53 19
370 We can find Earth, but not the food court. 1.3523 0.04230 264 203 29 32
371 look, they have starbucks too. 1.3516 0.03711 273 197 56 20
372 The pyramids weren't this hard. 1.3516 0.03761 256 183 56 17
373 So where’s the species neutral bathrooms? 1.3514 0.03646 276 198 59 19
374 How did they know? 1.3514 0.03437 313 225 66 22
375 Don't forget where you parked 1.3508 0.03669 248 174 61 13
376 This doesn’t qualify as asking for directions. 1.3504 0.03697 254 180 59 15
377 This is harder to figure out than getting to earth was. 1.3504 0.04019 254 188 43 23
378 See if you can find a clothing store. 1.3497 0.03486 286 203 66 17
379 I don’t think this is what they meant by “storm the National Mall.” 1.3494 0.03872 249 180 51 18
380 Shopping online is easier. 1.3491 0.03794 275 202 50 23
381 Let’s be really cautious when we approach The Gap. 1.3491 0.03388 275 191 72 12
382 I told you we should’ve ordered online! 1.3490 0.04006 255 189 43 23
383 It says “You are here.” How do they know? 1.3490 0.03678 298 220 52 26
384 Seriously, the last time we were here there was a Barnes and Noble. 1.3489 0.03765 278 204 51 23
385 So this is what it was like before Amazon? 1.3485 0.03917 241 174 50 17
386 Suddenly, I feel naked. 1.3485 0.03639 264 188 60 16
387 Small world. 1.3484 0.03926 244 177 49 18
388 I know this is where I am! 1.3482 0.04017 247 182 44 21
389 We're not in Kanxax anymore. 1.3480 0.03818 250 180 53 17
390 Lunch, nails and a facial. Then straight home. 1.3478 0.03712 276 201 54 21
391 It's been a while ... no more record stores? 1.3476 0.03915 233 167 51 15
392 All of a sudden, I feel completely lost. 1.3475 0.03880 236 169 52 15
393 Are you sure you’re ready for a clothes encounter? 1.3465 0.03974 254 188 44 22
394 Do you think they’ll recognize us if we swing through the food court and try to get a second sample of orange chicken? 1.3463 0.03902 257 189 47 21
395 This can’t be right. I thought that Amazon guy we sent down got rid of these? 1.3462 0.04085 234 172 43 19
396 And they think our crop circles are hard to read? 1.3456 0.03562 272 194 62 16
397 They must have really ugly bodies if their mall is so full of clothes." 1.3455 0.03983 246 181 45 20
398 I don't care how far away it is, you have to use the bathroom before we get back on the ship. 1.3454 0.03908 249 182 48 19
399 I can’t believe we made it to earth without a map but are so lost at this mall. 1.3450 0.03957 229 165 49 15
400 The bathrooms are only for Females and Males. What should we do? I can't wait much longer. 1.3446 0.03795 267 196 50 21
401 Do you see a restaurant where we can Eat Locals? 1.3439 0.03780 253 183 53 17
402 I asked you to remember where we parked. 1.3436 0.03877 259 191 47 21
403 I TOLD you “mall, Washington DC, Earth” was too vague for the ship’s navigation system! 1.3436 0.03838 259 190 49 20
404 So there really is life on malls. 1.3436 0.04123 227 167 42 18
405 Great, we landed at the JC Penny side… 1.3433 0.04092 233 172 42 19
406 Just find the damned Genius Bar, unlock our hyperdrive password, and get us the hell out of here! 1.3432 0.03680 271 197 55 19
407 What are all these stores that say, “clothing”? 1.3431 0.03840 239 172 52 15
408 Forever 21, are you sure? I swear their leader said to meet at "Area 21" or something like that. 1.3430 0.04026 242 179 43 20
409 OMG, they know we’re here! 1.3427 0.03956 248 183 45 20
410 As long as we’re just waiting for the planetary invasion order, I sure could go for a pretzel. 1.3421 0.03764 266 195 51 20
411 Let’s go to Williams Sonoma, I heard they have great saucers 1.3420 0.04069 231 170 43 18
412 We traveled light years and they need a map for this? 1.3419 0.03940 234 170 48 16
413 Face it, there’s no intelligent life here. 1.3417 0.04048 240 178 42 20
414 Glad to see there's a Starbucks here too. It's been a long ride. 1.3415 0.03806 246 178 52 16
415 A mall? For what year did you set the time machine? 1.3411 0.03684 258 186 56 16
416 I'm concerned we're making too many impulse abductions. 1.3407 0.04131 226 167 41 18
417 Should we get our ears pierced? 1.3404 0.03880 235 170 50 15
418 It's only 2 dimensional 1.3404 0.03880 235 170 50 15
419 Try zooming out. 1.3402 0.03675 241 171 58 12
420 So how much did you say we are saving on shipping? 1.3402 0.03998 244 181 43 20
421 Now try to remember where we parked. 1.3397 0.03762 262 192 51 19
422 Anyplace it says 'leader'? 1.3394 0.03942 221 159 49 13
423 But where is the restroom we can use? 1.3392 0.04162 227 169 39 19
424 Perhaps we should phone home. 1.3391 0.03886 230 166 50 14
425 Great. Now we're *really* lost! 1.3391 0.03852 233 168 51 14
426 Don’t we want their new navy? 1.3391 0.03947 233 170 47 16
427 ALF said we must try Cinnabon 1.3389 0.03878 239 174 49 16
428 Our cover is blown. 1.3388 0.03856 245 179 49 17
429 If we put on our N95 masks nobody will pay attention to us. 1.3379 0.04119 219 161 42 16
430 This place is not worth the trip anymore without the RadioShack. 1.3378 0.04227 222 166 37 19
431 Human anatomy vexes me 1.3378 0.03736 225 159 56 10
432 I don't want to be here either, but nobody will deliver to us. 1.3378 0.04280 225 170 34 21
433 Yes! This is the black hole we have been seeking. 1.3377 0.03774 231 165 54 12
434 Okay, fine. We're here. But where is here? 1.3376 0.03758 237 170 54 13
435 Are there any other sunglass stores we can try?" 1.3376 0.03898 237 173 48 16
436 Now we must finally locate the source of that cinnamon smell that has reached our galaxy. 1.3375 0.03819 240 174 51 15
437 The straight lines are probably canals, so there must be water somewhere. 1.3371 0.03746 267 197 50 20
438 Spencers? Oh dear god, we’ve landed in the 90’s! 1.3362 0.03906 232 169 48 15
439 It's saying we're not there yet. 1.3358 0.03771 268 199 48 21
440 Too much ozempic. Now I need a whole new wardrobe. 1.3349 0.04007 215 156 46 13
441 Great. I've been wondering where we are. 1.3348 0.03949 224 163 47 14
442 I wonder what kind of rulings they make at the food court? 1.3348 0.03878 230 167 49 14
443 Where can we buy pants? Uranus is showing. 1.3347 0.03951 236 174 45 17
444 See? I told you we’re here. 1.3347 0.03785 251 184 50 17
445 They have no idea what it's like to be really lost, do they? 1.3333 0.04092 228 170 40 18
446 How did they know we were here? 1.3333 0.03644 252 182 56 14
447 Doesn’t help much, does it? 1.3333 0.04045 228 169 42 17
448 We're here, not there. 1.3320 0.03572 250 179 59 12
449 and they think our crop circles are hard to decipher? 1.3319 0.04099 238 180 37 21
450 Now I understand why WE had to find THEM. 1.3319 0.04039 232 173 41 18
451 Did you lock the saucer? 1.3319 0.03933 229 168 46 15
452 What did Lord Bezos want us to obliterate again? 1.3319 0.04123 229 172 38 19
453 So you’re FINALLY going to ask directions?! 1.3318 0.04106 223 166 40 17
454 What happened to Radio Shack? 1.3318 0.04095 220 163 41 16
455 Just one Cinnabon and then we're back on our way. 1.3306 0.03647 242 174 56 12
456 Are you sure the wormhole's even on this floor? 1.3303 0.04079 221 164 41 16
457 In ancient temples like these people used to worship a god named Abercrombie. 1.3303 0.03872 221 160 49 12
458 I thought you said there was a Cinnabon here? 1.3303 0.03961 218 159 46 13
459 Oh for fuck’s sake Stuart, why can’t you just ask for directions? 1.3301 0.04340 206 155 34 17
460 Three floors of these and I still don’t know where “here” is. 1.3292 0.03726 243 177 52 14
461 They don't have my size, and they won't accept plutonium. 1.3291 0.03870 234 172 47 15
462 Ever have one of those dreams when you're standing in a mall naked? 1.3289 0.03890 228 167 47 14
463 They're technology is so advanced! They've been tracking us this whole time! 1.3289 0.03940 228 168 45 15
464 We’re finally here. 1.3288 0.04063 222 165 41 16
465 Commander said to respond with ‘we are Gen-Z,’ in the case of questions. 1.3288 0.03910 222 162 47 13
466 How does the sign know where we are? 1.3287 0.04036 216 159 43 14
467 So much for the element of surprise." 1.3278 0.03698 241 175 53 13
468 There's nobody here. Did someone else already abduct them all? 1.3277 0.03869 238 176 46 16
469 How in heck do they know where we are? 1.3276 0.03842 232 170 48 14
470 That one says "Space for rent." Just what we've been looking for! 1.3274 0.03997 223 165 43 15
471 How stupid can humans be that they need a sign telling them where they are? 1.3273 0.04236 220 167 34 19
472 This is very confusing. I told you that we should have just ordered from Amazon. 1.3272 0.04073 217 161 41 15
473 I really didn't think they'd be so serious about, "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service". 1.3272 0.04125 217 162 39 16
474 Do they have unisex restrooms ? 1.3270 0.03930 211 153 47 11
475 You’re telling me we travelled 10 million light years, and The Sharper Image doesn’t even exist anymore? 1.3269 0.04083 208 153 42 13
476 Maybe we should just go home. 1.3264 0.03911 242 181 43 18
477 It looks like we are dangerously close to a black hole. 1.3263 0.03935 236 176 43 17
478 What happened to Ruby Tuesday’s? 1.3263 0.03842 236 174 47 15
479 Don’t worry. Just act supernatural. 1.3262 0.03828 233 171 48 14
480 Would it kill them to etch this into a cornfield? 1.3257 0.04211 218 165 35 18
481 Of all the malls in the Universe, we land on the one without a food court. 1.3257 0.04211 218 165 35 18
482 I told you we should have just bought it on Amazon like everyone else does. 1.3256 0.04253 215 163 34 18
483 Have you noticed it's the same brands no matter where you go? 1.3255 0.04296 212 161 33 18
484 Relax, they still have no idea WHY we’re here 1.3252 0.04439 206 158 29 19
485 I heard they have a RadioShack here. 1.3247 0.03595 231 165 57 9
486 What are you going to say when they ask you for your credit card? 1.3244 0.03917 225 166 45 14
487 How did they find Mom’s DNA pattern? 1.3243 0.03953 222 164 44 14
488 I flew us 14 light years with no problems but I have no idea how to find a bathroom here 1.3243 0.03848 222 162 48 12
489 We didn't travel 20 million lightyears NOT to try the "ice cream of the future." 1.3242 0.03989 219 162 43 14
490 Clothes Encounters 1.3241 0.03869 253 191 42 20
491 I want to go find out this secret that Victoria is keeping. 1.3241 0.03919 216 158 46 12
492 Pants or shoes first? 1.3239 0.03893 247 186 42 19
493 Aha! There’s our Target! 1.3238 0.03993 210 154 44 12
494 Join the Galaxy Patrol, you said. See the universe, it'll be exciting, you said...... 1.3238 0.04050 210 155 42 13
495 See if you can find "Forever 51." 1.3237 0.03737 241 177 50 14
496 Oops, this is only Area 50. 1.3235 0.03768 238 175 49 14
497 It’s harder to read than our map of the universe. 1.3223 0.04144 211 158 38 15
498 OH come on, we traveled 2000000 light years to get AWAY from Starbucks 1.3223 0.04198 211 159 36 16
499 We’ve gone from helping them build pyramids to this. 1.3217 0.04092 230 175 36 19
500 So, this really is a prison planet. 1.3216 0.04012 199 145 44 10
501 Starbucks sound promising. 1.3216 0.03887 227 168 45 14
502 We’re on the wrong planet, you idiot. 1.3216 0.04083 227 172 37 18
503 Oh God! Judy, I TOLD you this was the wrong planet! 1.3213 0.03906 221 163 45 13
504 I didn't expect to find everything in the universe under one roof. 1.3208 0.04072 212 158 40 14
505 It’s Florida, don’t worry we’ll fit right in 1.3206 0.04223 209 158 35 16
506 No GAP? 1.3202 0.04020 228 172 39 17
507 And here I thought our presence was a secret. 1.3200 0.04057 225 170 38 17
508 It's called a map, Columbus. Remember that thing you swore you packed in the ship? 1.3200 0.04057 200 147 42 11
509 Now where can we get a charger? 1.3200 0.04057 200 147 42 11
510 Oh no, their technology has penetrated our invisibility shield 1.3196 0.04330 194 146 34 14
511 Can't we just get the probe online? 1.3192 0.03832 213 155 48 10
512 How did they pinpoint our location so quickly? 1.3188 0.04303 207 158 32 17
513 Let's see...restrooms...oh, no! Is this that crazy planet where they make a big deal about who uses which one? 1.3176 0.03875 255 195 39 21
514 Do you see an area marked 51? 1.3176 0.04000 233 177 38 18
515 How can they be so sure? 1.3175 0.04188 211 160 35 16
516 We need to buy some sunglasses so we're less conspicuous. 1.3175 0.04142 189 139 40 10
517 An indoor shopping mall? I thought we agreed to search for signs of life. 1.3166 0.04063 199 147 41 11
518 Do they always display their attack plans this openly? 1.3165 0.03533 278 208 52 18
519 Oh come on! If I WANTED to go around in circles, I would be back at the CROPS! 1.3165 0.04039 218 164 39 15
520 Let's face it. We're lost! 1.3160 0.03951 212 157 43 12
521 I said Supernova, not Sephora. 1.3158 0.03989 209 155 42 12
522 "I think we need a bigger map." 1.3158 0.03864 228 170 44 14
523 Can you come with me to Victoria's Secret? Last time they looked at me like I was some kinda creep! 1.3155 0.04256 206 157 33 16
524 We have really traveled back in time. 1.3155 0.04143 206 155 37 14
525 12,000 light years and NOW we get lost? 1.3151 0.03615 292 224 44 24
526 4 billion light years to get here and everything is closed. 1.3151 0.03809 219 161 47 11
527 You brought us halfway across the galaxy and still can't find the bathroom? 1.3150 0.04228 200 151 35 14
528 I told you this wasn’t Area 51 1.3148 0.03899 216 160 44 12
529 Uh oh. They're on to us. 1.3147 0.03958 197 144 44 9
530 At this point, the closest clothing store is best. 1.3143 0.04085 210 158 38 14
531 You” must be very small 1.3140 0.03769 207 150 49 8
532 How are we supposed to read this map? Where are the other seven dimensions? 1.3134 0.04269 201 153 33 15
533 Ironic, isn’t it? We travel 10 million light years without a hitch to get here, and yet we can’t find Cinnabon. 1.3134 0.04384 201 155 29 17
534 This isn't about finding suitable mates for an interspecies hybrid. you ginned up this whole stupid mission for a Cinnabon. 1.3128 0.04232 211 162 32 17
535 What is HERE" 1.3128 0.04124 211 160 36 15
536 I just need to pee before we leave for home. 1.3116 0.03959 215 161 41 13
537 Where’s the Escape Room? 1.3112 0.04028 196 145 41 10
538 No signs of intelligent life here. 1.3111 0.04613 180 139 26 15
539 Ann Taylor always fits me well. 1.3110 0.04092 209 158 37 14
540 I’ll only be fifteen minutes. Find someone to eat. 1.3110 0.04035 209 157 39 13
541 Why is the bathroom always on the other side? 1.3110 0.04035 209 157 39 13
542 They closed the Cinnabon? 1.3110 0.04148 209 159 35 15
543 What a primitive form of navigation. 1.3109 0.03597 238 175 52 11
544 Its just like the one back home. 1.3106 0.03822 235 177 43 15
545 We should've landed in Roswell. This place is a ghost town. 1.3105 0.04111 190 141 39 10
546 The sign says we’re finally here — and of course we’re naked and have no money. 1.3105 0.03960 219 167 37 15
547 This wouldn't have been an issue if we had destroyed the planet like I wanted. 1.3103 0.04232 203 155 33 15
548 No, I'm not. 1.3100 0.04392 200 155 28 17
549 Briefs or boxers? 1.3100 0.04157 200 151 36 13
550 It all seems so alien to us! 1.3100 0.04034 200 149 40 11
551 Hmm. They still think there is a here. 1.3096 0.04322 197 151 31 15
552 I’m not leaving here without Auntie Anne’s. 1.3095 0.03962 210 157 41 12
553 It’s not just a cinnamon roll. It’s an enormous cinnamon roll. 1.3091 0.03997 220 167 38 15
554 No wonder they cannot find us. 1.3088 0.03978 204 152 41 11
555 Navigating space is easier than this place. 1.3083 0.03798 253 194 40 19
556 We may be here, but what possessed us to come? 1.3081 0.04182 198 150 35 13
557 We need clothes 1.3081 0.03888 211 157 43 11
558 If they're so inferior how can they create that many types of candle? 1.3073 0.04196 205 157 33 15
559 This is the awkward part, until we get to The Gap 1.3073 0.04206 192 145 35 12
560 But it doesn't say where their leader is! 1.3073 0.04458 192 149 27 16
561 We're done for! They know our location! 1.3073 0.04196 179 133 37 9
562 HOW DO WE ESCAPE THIS HELLHOLE? 1.3069 0.04122 202 153 36 13
563 Let’s get out of “HERE”! 1.3069 0.04251 189 143 34 12
564 It was a Bed, Bath, and Beyond that got us here in the first place 1.3069 0.04184 189 142 36 11
565 And you thought the map from Alpha Centauri didn't make any sense. 1.3068 0.04242 176 131 36 9
566 Did you remember the coupons? 1.3065 0.03847 199 146 45 8
567 Looks like we landed close to the target 1.3065 0.04102 199 150 37 12
568 Are we THAT obvious? 1.3065 0.04297 186 141 33 12
569 I thought you were bringing the credit card 1.3065 0.04364 186 142 31 13
570 I see Burger King and Dairy Queen but nothing that says “Leader” 1.3061 0.04329 196 151 30 15
571 If we can’t find it soon, I’m going in that fake plant. 1.3060 0.04132 183 138 35 10
572 Now we really are lost in space. 1.3058 0.04064 206 156 37 13
573 I told you back at Ursa Minor. There's no Macy's here. 1.3058 0.04005 206 155 39 12
574 I think they want us to get clothes. 1.3058 0.03697 206 150 49 7
575 This is where I bought our probes last time. 1.3057 0.04187 193 146 35 12
576 Area 51 appears to be a Warby Parker. 1.3054 0.03983 203 152 40 11
577 Google neglected to mention this. 1.3053 0.04165 190 143 36 11
578 Am I really "model material" or was she just being nice? 1.3051 0.04444 177 135 30 12
579 How can they say I'm there when I'm right here?" 1.3043 0.04255 184 139 34 11
580 Crop circles are so much easy to navigate 1.3041 0.04104 194 146 37 11
581 Do you see the visitors center? 1.3037 0.04011 191 142 40 9
582 Yes . . . yes, indeed we are. 1.3035 0.04128 201 153 35 13
583 Let's try a bubble tea before we take over the Banana Republic. 1.3032 0.04453 188 146 27 15
584 Seriously, anything that sells clothes. 1.3030 0.04045 198 149 38 11
585 It’s a long way to come for a Cinnabon. 1.3029 0.03913 208 156 41 11
586 But where is here? 1.3027 0.04504 185 144 26 15
587 If we were there, we wouldn’t be here. Earth. Go figure. 1.3027 0.04304 185 141 32 12
588 ….And YOU are not alone. 1.3026 0.04020 195 146 39 10
589 Planet Fitness? That wasn’t on our maps. 1.3026 0.04213 195 149 33 13
590 We're going to need shirts and shoes before we go anywhere. 1.3024 0.03889 205 153 42 10
591 Oh good, we're here. 1.3023 0.04047 215 165 35 15
592 Anthropolgie sounds like it will have what we're looking for. 1.3023 0.03938 215 163 39 13
593 There’s gotta be a spaceship repair shop in here somewhere. 1.3021 0.04128 192 145 36 11
594 Well, first things first, let’s find a place that sells pants… 1.3016 0.04558 189 149 23 17
595 Oh great, lost in the consumer dimension again 1.3016 0.04171 189 143 35 11
596 I know it's a hike, but it's the only place with pig botulism toxin and I'm starving 1.3015 0.04447 199 157 24 18
597 There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere… 1.3011 0.04483 186 145 26 15
598 Look for unisex clothing store" 1.3006 0.04352 173 131 32 10
599 I always forget where we parked the space ship. 1.3006 0.04195 173 129 36 8
600 I feel alienated. 1.3006 0.04504 173 133 28 12
601 Do you think they were expecting us? 1.3005 0.03846 203 151 43 9
602 Is there a gender neutral restroom? 1.3000 0.04109 210 162 33 15
603 I think we made a wrong turn. 1.3000 0.04084 190 143 37 10
604 Are we ever going to visit a planet where the toilets can be accessed easily? 1.3000 0.04053 210 161 35 14
605 Remember, our analytics show we've just increased our chances of being involved in a mass shooting by seven thousand per cent. 1.3000 0.04194 200 154 32 14
606 We’ve come this far. We can’t give up now. 1.2994 0.04207 177 133 35 9
607 Can you open Google Maps, please? 1.2994 0.04119 167 123 38 6
608 And we said the galaxy was hard to navigate... 1.2990 0.04192 204 158 31 15
609 They're on to us! 1.2990 0.04091 194 147 36 11
610 I think we should abort. They know exactly where we are. 1.2990 0.04156 194 148 34 12
611 Apparently, they need to shop to find themselves" 1.2990 0.04091 194 147 36 11
612 They know where we are. Quick, run! 1.2989 0.04379 184 142 29 13
613 I see Forever 21 but not Area 51. 1.2986 0.03923 211 160 39 12
614 We're supposed to be wearing clothes to buy clothes? 1.2985 0.03993 201 152 38 11
615 It’s like we’re on another planet 1.2983 0.03991 181 134 40 7
616 So, THIS is Earth? 1.2982 0.03969 171 125 41 5
617 Victoria's Secret looks like a good start. 1.2981 0.04018 208 159 36 13
618 But where is the gender neutral bathroom? 1.2980 0.04032 198 150 37 11
619 I'll meet you right back here in 20 light years. 1.2979 0.04038 188 141 38 9
620 You travel 10 billion miles through space and time only to get lost in a mall. 1.2978 0.04262 178 135 33 10
621 Remember, our mission is to solve Victoria’s secret. 1.2976 0.03998 205 156 37 12
622 We leave them alone for hundreds of years and this is what they do to the place?! 1.2976 0.04116 205 158 33 14
623 But how does it know? 1.2973 0.04079 185 139 37 9
624 This one says ‘out of this world food’ Try it? 1.2973 0.04151 185 140 35 10
625 Take me to your restroom. 1.2973 0.04358 185 143 29 13
626 Bob must've done this crop circle - it makes no sense 1.2971 0.04385 175 134 30 11
627 I guess we should've checked before coming all this way for Sears. 1.2971 0.04459 175 135 28 12
628 Oh no -- I can't remember where we parked. 1.2970 0.04567 165 127 27 11
629 It was easier when we only had to "phone home". 1.2970 0.04567 165 127 27 11
630 It would have been so much easier if we'd done our shopping online. 1.2969 0.04048 192 145 37 10
631 Whoops...wrong planet. 1.2967 0.04122 182 137 36 9
632 And we foolishly thought our long journey was at an end. 1.2965 0.04587 172 134 25 13
633 Fantastic! It says you are here. 1.2963 0.04290 189 146 30 13
634 ‘And you still refuse to use a map?’ 1.2963 0.03949 189 141 40 8
635 You know, regardless of what the map says, they have no idea where they are. 1.2959 0.04718 169 133 22 14
636 I told you they were flat earthers! 1.2957 0.03988 186 139 39 8
637 I think we have a problem; I don’t see a Radio Shack Store. 1.2951 0.04175 183 139 34 10
638 You said there would be a Cinnabon. 1.2950 0.03804 200 149 43 8
639 They know where we are. Their technology is far more advanced than I thought. 1.2950 0.03997 200 152 37 11
640 All of this looks pretty alien to me. 1.2947 0.04138 190 145 34 11
641 Where’s the Samsung store - we’re supposed to get a Galaxy. 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
642 Didn’t we start here? 1.2944 0.04071 180 135 37 8
643 Dude, are we lost again? 1.2944 0.03972 197 149 38 10
644 Let’s go to the place where everyone is always twenty-one. 1.2941 0.04619 170 133 24 13
645 What do you think--clothing first or aviator glasses? 1.2938 0.03911 211 161 38 12
646 No wonder we can’t find intelligent life. 1.2938 0.04342 177 136 30 11
647 Honestly, I prefer crop circles. 1.2938 0.04191 177 134 34 9
648 "Oh Great, we've been sighted." 1.2935 0.04010 184 138 38 8
649 The Gap", perhaps where we came in 1.2932 0.04052 191 145 36 10
650 I think we've arrived at land's end. 1.2928 0.04344 181 140 29 12
651 We'll blend in if we get the Earth Shoes. 1.2928 0.04273 181 139 31 11
652 I don't care if it's 375 billion light years out of the way. Can we go to the good mall now? 1.2927 0.04104 205 159 32 14
653 Twelve light years to get here and now you’re lost? What kind of navigator are you?” 1.2926 0.04363 188 147 26 14
654 Is this what they call intelligent life? 1.2926 0.03730 188 138 45 5
655 First, we buy some trousers." 1.2923 0.03994 195 148 37 10
656 If you are there where am I? 1.2921 0.04016 178 133 38 7
657 Who's gonna notice? We're in L.A. 1.2921 0.04204 202 158 29 15
658 See, all along they knew we were coming. 1.2920 0.03782 226 173 40 13
659 We made it this far, we can’t turn back now. 1.2914 0.04370 175 135 29 11
660 Well, that really narrows it down. 1.2912 0.04323 182 141 29 12
661 Would it have killed you to check the map back at Andromeda? But noooo, you knew exactly where we were. 1.2907 0.04718 172 137 20 15
662 What is LLAM YROTCERID? 1.2903 0.04256 186 144 30 12
663 I think you can use either bathroom. 1.2903 0.04324 186 145 28 13
664 Uranus was a lot less complicated 1.2900 0.04047 200 154 34 12
665 A Mall and the Light Visitors 1.2898 0.04495 176 138 25 13
666 After traveling 25 light years across space, you'd think we'd be able to find the Radio Shack. 1.2898 0.04272 176 135 31 10
667 I must say that knowing exactly where we are right now is cold comfort to me.” 1.2897 0.04885 145 113 22 10
668 That explains everything. 1.2896 0.04372 183 143 27 13
669 We should have ordered on Amazon, like all the humans. 1.2896 0.04014 183 138 37 8
670 We are?? 1.2895 0.04322 190 149 27 14
671 There’s a lot of empty space. 1.2892 0.04362 166 127 30 9
672 We don't wear clothes or even have ears to pierce. Admit you just want to eat at Panda Express. 1.2890 0.04321 173 133 30 10
673 You said ' let's put some DNA on a meteorite and see what happens'. Happy now? 1.2889 0.04694 180 145 18 17
674 I don’t care if they are going out of business; you don’t need any more scented candles. 1.2888 0.04167 187 144 32 11
675 We're in the right place. It IS a strip mall. 1.2885 0.04813 156 123 21 12
676 I can’t read this shit! 1.2882 0.04678 170 135 21 14
677 I'm glad somebody knows where we are. 1.2882 0.04603 170 134 23 13
678 You and your excellent navigational skills. We landed at their only mall without a Hammacher Schlemmer. 1.2880 0.04282 184 143 29 12
679 We know where we are. We asked where your leader is. 1.2880 0.04038 191 146 35 10
680 No advanced civilization would create this. 1.2878 0.03973 205 158 35 12
681 The last time we visited, the dinosaurs were right here. 1.2875 0.04807 160 127 20 13
682 Not that helpful for getting back to Alpha Centauri. But on the bright side, there is a food court. 1.2875 0.04468 160 123 28 9
683 Bed, Bath & Beyond is closed for good. Now what do we do? 1.2874 0.04256 167 127 32 8
684 Shows why they can't find us anywhere. We're here, not there. 1.2873 0.04185 181 139 32 10
685 Well at least we're not lost in space. 1.2873 0.04036 181 137 36 8
686 What?! Galacti-search said Area 51 was right next to Foot Locker. 1.2872 0.04110 195 151 32 12
687 Are you sure this is Area 51? 1.2872 0.04046 195 150 34 11
688 I know it says you are here. But where exactly is here? 1.2865 0.04231 178 137 31 10
689 They have built amazing prisons here. The prisoners come voluntarily. 1.2857 0.04091 182 139 34 9
690 Keep looking. I know Alexa is here somewhere. 1.2857 0.03662 210 158 44 8
691 I think we need to phone home. 1.2857 0.04173 161 121 34 6
692 I see the Bed, and the Bath, what where is the Beyond. 1.2857 0.04218 196 154 28 14
693 I didn't know we'd be so easy to find. 1.2857 0.03940 182 137 38 7
694 They must be able to perceive a dimension we cannot. 1.2857 0.04263 189 148 28 13
695 See? We DO exist. 1.2848 0.04533 165 129 25 11
696 Now, what's the point of saying WHERE we are, if it doesn't tell us WHEN? 1.2848 0.04282 165 126 31 8
697 Take me to your Cinnabon 1.2848 0.04106 165 124 35 6
698 And these people are 'intelligent?' 1.2848 0.04407 158 121 29 8
699 Since when does it know? 1.2840 0.04754 162 129 20 13
700 Look for the theater. I want to see the 'Alien' re-release. 1.2839 0.04461 155 119 28 8
701 I told you, they didn't have a Jamba Juice 1.2837 0.04097 208 164 29 15
702 I just want to pop into Target for five minutes 1.2835 0.04115 194 151 31 12
703 Stop telling everyone our word for penis is "Warby Parker." 1.2834 0.04221 187 146 29 12
704 Navigating outer space was easier than finding our way out of that Ikea! 1.2833 0.04263 180 140 29 11
705 This planet is so self centered. 1.2832 0.03894 173 129 39 5
706 Hurry up and find a bathroom. I’ve been holding this in for light years 1.2832 0.04145 173 132 33 8
707 We mastered interstellar travel. How is it we missed clothing? 1.2828 0.04180 198 156 28 14
708 I say we boldly go to Cheesecake Factory 1.2825 0.03838 177 132 40 5
709 These earth people have to be told where they are? 1.2825 0.04159 177 136 32 9
710 Of course we are here! What I want to know is where is the Cinnabon? 1.2824 0.03820 216 167 37 12
711 Why does everyone keep saying, ‘May the fourth be with you,’ when there’s only two of us? 1.2824 0.04190 170 130 32 8
712 I told you we took a wrong turn. 1.2823 0.03787 209 160 39 10
713 Zort said the part we’re missing can be bought at the Radio Shack. Where the hell is the Radio Shack? 1.2821 0.04224 195 154 27 14
714 How'd they know when we would be here? 1.2819 0.04269 188 148 27 13
715 Do we have an escape plan? 1.2819 0.04673 149 116 24 9
716 I see they've simplified quantum physics. 1.2819 0.04373 149 113 30 6
717 Why can't you just ask for directions? 1.2818 0.04169 181 140 31 10
718 That’s why they never made it to us! 1.2816 0.04124 174 133 33 8
719 What? Sears isn’t even here anymore? 1.2816 0.04282 174 135 29 10
720 Something tells me we’re not going to find the highest forms of intelligent life here. 1.2812 0.04359 160 123 29 8
721 We came all this way, and they closed the Orange Julius? 1.2811 0.04034 185 142 34 9
722 I don’t see where to buy Taylor Swift’s new album. 1.2811 0.04247 185 145 28 12
723 Wait, I thought they couldn't see us! 1.2809 0.03901 178 134 38 6
724 How do they know that? 1.2809 0.04214 178 138 30 10
725 It’s all alien to me! 1.2807 0.04251 171 132 30 9
726 Oops! I think we’ve been spotted! 1.2807 0.04331 171 133 28 10
727 In the 80's, this was the center of the universe. 1.2800 0.04104 175 134 33 8
728 I told you your coordinates were off, Zanec. We didn't materialize anywhere near the restrooms. 1.2798 0.03849 193 147 38 8
729 This is definitely Antares IV, you said. No, I don't need to ask for directions! 1.2798 0.04845 168 137 15 16
730 The sign in the window said Space for Rent, but I suspect they mean inner space. 1.2795 0.04424 161 125 27 9
731 They have found us!" "How could they know we're here? 1.2794 0.04025 204 160 31 13
732 I wonder where “here” really is. 1.2791 0.04539 172 137 22 13
733 A bit more fanfare would have been nice. 1.2791 0.04229 172 133 30 9
734 We’ve navigated across a million light years to reach this galaxy and now you tell me we’re lost? 1.2791 0.04065 172 131 34 7
735 ‘I navigated us through 6 galaxies to get here, and you can’t find our way out of the food court.’ 1.2791 0.04065 172 131 34 7
736 Starbucks! 1.2789 0.04162 190 149 29 12
737 How did they find our location so fast?! 1.2788 0.04349 165 128 28 9
738 Why bother with a food court when there are so many tasty humans in front of us. 1.2788 0.04349 165 128 28 9
739 Where is here? 1.2785 0.04478 158 123 26 9
740 And these people landed a man on the moon? 1.2781 0.04194 169 130 31 8
741 We know we're here! Do they? 1.2778 0.04571 162 128 23 11
742 So fed up with the hypocrisy. How many times must we tell them that it’s “They”. 1.2778 0.04319 180 142 26 12
743 Before you vaporize it, let me run in for some more cookies and a usb cable. 1.2775 0.04045 173 132 34 7
744 Believe me. It doesn't matter what planet your on. If you want to pick up women you go to the shopping mall. 1.2775 0.04208 173 134 30 9
745 Yes, we're here, but on which planet? 1.2775 0.04127 173 133 32 8
746 In what universe would you go to a doctor at the mall? 1.2772 0.04037 184 142 33 9
747 And I thought finding earth would be the hard bit. 1.2767 0.04177 159 121 32 6
748 I assume their leader is at the Apple store. 1.2766 0.04186 188 148 28 12
749 I think we're lost. Phone home. 1.2765 0.04255 170 132 29 9
750 This is awkward….I don’t see the crop circle anywhere. 1.2761 0.04462 163 127 25 10
751 Well, I can't read the language, but my guess is it says Piet Mondrian. 1.2759 0.04418 174 138 24 12
752 ... and you thought we were there 1.2754 0.04044 167 127 34 6
753 Multiple dimensions yet only one bathroom? 1.2754 0.04303 167 130 28 9
754 You are here? But what galaxy? 1.2753 0.03964 178 136 35 7
755 Who do I have to probe to get an Orange Julius around here? 1.2750 0.04429 160 125 26 9
756 We went a million light years to find earth but you can’t find the Cinnabon?” 1.2750 0.04517 160 126 24 10
757 Would "Your Leader" be under "Y" or "L"? 1.2750 0.04058 160 121 34 5
758 Could you have parked any further from Nordstrom?? 1.2749 0.04695 171 139 17 15
759 The map of our entire planet seems less complicated than the map of their mall. 1.2749 0.03981 171 130 35 6
760 Where's here and how do we get there? 1.2747 0.04059 182 141 32 9
761 We navigated our way across 7 galaxies and we still can’t find the Cinnabon shop” 1.2747 0.04206 182 143 28 11
762 They have The Gap, but they don’t have The Void. 1.2746 0.04703 142 111 23 8
763 Let’s go to the arcade and freak people out while we play Space Invaders. 1.2744 0.04604 164 131 21 12
764 Does this mean we exist? 1.2744 0.04353 164 128 27 9
765 You’re right, we can’t get there from here! 1.2739 0.04748 157 126 19 12
766 Well at least we know we are here. But what is here exactly? 1.2738 0.04196 168 130 30 8
767 I wonder what sport is played on the food court. 1.2733 0.04526 150 117 25 8
768 I must say it's very misleading 1.2733 0.04316 161 125 28 8
769 You’re the trained navigator, so find the food court!” 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
770 I've got a feeling we're not in δ Aquarii A anymore. 1.2733 0.04405 161 126 25 9
771 Where’s the closest bathroom? 1.2733 0.04370 172 136 25 11
772 What the ¶∞º§ is "Clothing"? 1.2727 0.04145 176 137 30 9
773 Are you sure it’s called Forever 21? I thought it was 51 we were looking for. 1.2727 0.04445 154 120 26 8
774 We have traveled far, XVgi2, let us rest in the room they have kindly provided for rest. 1.2727 0.04155 165 127 31 7
775 'I've heard this planet is famous for those soft pretzels.' 1.2727 0.03818 176 133 38 5
776 Just once it would have killed you to ask for directions? 1.2727 0.04674 143 112 23 8
777 The Reese’s Pieces trail went cold an hour ago, just admit we’re lost. 1.2727 0.04497 165 131 23 11
778 Nazca lines were definitely more helpful 1.2727 0.04722 154 123 20 11
779 Fizbot said I should be able to find one at Radio Shack 1.2722 0.04340 169 133 26 10
780 While we're here, let's have a clothes encounter. 1.2722 0.04458 158 124 25 9
781 Are you sure they’re intelligent life?” 1.2716 0.04202 162 125 30 7
782 It appears they've bought into the "rectangular universe" consipracy. 1.2715 0.04500 151 118 25 8
783 There is no intelligent life down here. 1.2715 0.04500 151 118 25 8
784 This is alien to me 1.2710 0.04225 155 119 30 6
785 I don't understand the inhabitants of this planet. Why do they travel all the way to the Amazon, when they can do all their shopping here? 1.2710 0.04695 155 124 20 11
786 Sheesh. No wonder he phoned home. 1.2710 0.04513 155 122 24 9
787 I'm not worried about the Xenophobia - it's the nudity that'll freak them out 1.2710 0.04513 155 122 24 9
788 So we crossed the infinitely vast cosmos… just to get lost… here?. 1.2707 0.04061 181 141 31 9
789 Where were we going to meet Bed and Bath? 1.2704 0.04342 159 124 27 8
790 Amazing! Traveling 10,000 light years from home and the earthlings still know where we are! 1.2703 0.04657 148 117 22 9
791 Don't tell me you already forgot where we parked. 1.2701 0.04247 174 137 27 10
792 To fit in, we should first buy some jeans and sneakers. 1.2701 0.04247 174 137 27 10
793 Did remember to lock the saucer? 1.2697 0.04570 152 120 23 9
794 Great, Blip, now we're wandering around like lost balloons in a party store, this is worse than the time we landed at IKEA. 1.2697 0.04375 152 118 27 7
795 No Cinnabon!? Let's roll. 1.2695 0.04112 167 129 31 7
796 I am just looking for the great bicycle store E.T. keeps going on about. 1.2695 0.04284 167 131 27 9
797 I understand how to harness zero point energy to traverse the multiverse via wormholes... I don't understand how a store that just sells novelty socks is a viable business model. 1.2692 0.04579 156 124 22 10
798 Would 'Leader' be under 'Men's,' 'Women's' 'Dining,' or 'Entertainment?' 1.2692 0.04394 156 122 26 8
799 Clever earthlings! That Cinnabon smell gets me every time. 1.2692 0.04394 156 122 26 8
800 this used to be their cultural center 1.2690 0.04405 145 112 27 6
801 So Earth really IS flat? 1.2688 0.03757 186 142 38 6
802 There we are. 1.2688 0.04409 160 126 25 9
803 So we fly all this way and now you tell me you only studied French?! 1.2685 0.04219 149 114 30 5
804 Is it just me, or are we drastically underdressed? 1.2685 0.04219 149 114 30 5
805 Are you sure they said, "Clothes encounters"? 1.2685 0.04219 149 114 30 5
806 Using a map is so alien to me. 1.2680 0.04637 153 122 21 10
807 They found us! ... Wait, why are there so few humans here? 1.2680 0.04350 153 119 27 7
808 And I thought navigating the universe was tough! 1.2679 0.04177 168 131 29 8
809 We came all this way and the underwear store is out of business? 1.2678 0.04169 183 145 27 11
810 I swear! Last time I was here the Sam Goody was right next to Sharper Image. 1.2678 0.04022 183 143 31 9
811 I forgot my wallet. 1.2676 0.04679 142 112 22 8
812 We know we are here. Do they know we are here? 1.2675 0.04553 157 125 22 10
813 The unisex clothing store should work. 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
814 Sure. NOW you ask for directions. 1.2674 0.04273 172 136 26 10
815 We might find their leader presiding over the Food Court. 1.2671 0.04269 146 112 29 5
816 Of all the malls in all the universe, you land at the one with no giant pretzels?! 1.2670 0.04205 176 139 27 10
817 Forget the stores. Just keep abducting them until we have all the clothing we need. 1.2667 0.04223 165 129 28 8
818 They didnt have these places back in my Roswell days 1.2667 0.04223 165 129 28 8
819 I knew it wasn't gonna be easy to find Planet Fitness. 1.2663 0.04321 169 134 25 10
820 Remember, no new wireless plans and no probing anyone who just ate at the food court. 1.2662 0.04517 154 122 23 9
821 I’ve NEVER felt so ALIENATED in my WHOLE LIFE!” ☀️👽☀ 1.2662 0.04326 154 120 27 7
822 Last time I was on Earth it was clothing optional. 1.2659 0.04090 173 135 30 8
823 Can we finally stop and ask for directions now???? 1.2659 0.04171 173 136 28 9
824 All that way, and NO Orange Julius anymore? 1.2659 0.04251 173 137 26 10
825 I told you we should have taken a left at Jupiter 1.2658 0.04345 158 124 26 8
826 Clearly no discernable pattern of a highly functioning society 1.2658 0.04345 158 124 26 8
827 We didn't have to come here, you know! I have Amazon Prime 1.2658 0.04437 158 125 24 9
828 I think this is their house of worship . 1.2657 0.04543 143 112 24 7
829 Do Earthlings really 'rest' in the restroom? 1.2654 0.04271 162 127 27 8
830 If you've seen one store, you've seen a mall. 1.2654 0.04533 162 130 21 11
831 I don't believe we could interfer with this civilization if we tried." 1.2653 0.04761 147 118 19 10
832 Just the same as on Mars 1.2653 0.04761 147 118 19 10
833 Looks like our walking group is late again… 1.2651 0.04113 166 129 30 7
834 I hope this mall has an all-gender bathroom. 1.2651 0.04023 166 128 32 6
835 I didn't come all this way to settle for Sbarro. 1.2649 0.04575 151 120 22 9
836 Why won't you just ask someone? 1.2647 0.04074 136 102 32 2
837 Are we a ‘YOU’? 1.2645 0.04301 155 121 27 7
838 You tell me, you’re the navigator. 1.2643 0.04373 140 108 27 5
839 I know that cinnamon smell is really tempting, but you're going to see that it was not worth coming this far. 1.2642 0.04321 159 125 26 8
840 I didn’t travel light years to not get a Cinnabon! 1.2639 0.04621 144 114 22 8
841 I thought our mission was to go where we could find signs of intelligent life. 1.2639 0.04406 144 112 26 6
842 The truth is in here somewhere. 1.2639 0.04515 144 113 24 7
843 So that's where we are. 1.2639 0.04621 144 114 22 8
844 You’ll do anything to avoid asking for directions 1.2639 0.04827 144 116 18 10
845 Forget this, We should phone home. 1.2638 0.04066 163 126 31 6
846 OK, Gary, better keep away from the YOU in case they're dangerous 1.2638 0.04423 163 130 23 10
847 They say we're here. Good. They don't know we're everywhere. 1.2635 0.04431 148 116 25 7
848 Nope, there's no leader listed. 1.2635 0.04326 148 115 27 6
849 Oh crap! Another black hole. 1.2635 0.04264 167 132 26 9
850 That’s the one: Geek Squad. They can fix anything! 1.2634 0.03675 224 177 35 12
851 You said there’d be a Cheesecake Factory. 1.2632 0.04548 152 121 22 9
852 No intelligent life, no affordable pants ... let's phone home. 1.2632 0.04736 152 123 18 11
853 It said the target was right here with a capital T, but maybe I just clicked an ad. 1.2632 0.03931 152 115 34 3
854 Why on earth are washrooms always far from mall directories? 1.2628 0.04372 156 123 25 8
855 This is where Earthlings worship their God Consumera. 1.2628 0.04558 156 125 21 10
856 I didn't travel thirty million light years to go home without Cinnabon." 1.2628 0.04665 137 108 22 7
857 Auntie Anne’s or Cinnabon, you decide…either will taste fine when we get home in 23 trillion years. 1.2628 0.04665 137 108 22 7
858 Shoes. I need shoes—and big sunglasses too. 1.2626 0.03908 179 139 33 7
859 See? I told you at Alpha Centauri that we took the wrong turn! 1.2625 0.04205 160 125 28 7
860 Don’t they know Amazon delivers? 1.2625 0.04205 160 125 28 7
861 Where can we phone home? 1.2624 0.04790 141 113 19 9
862 It's way too far to go for a hot pretzel. 1.2622 0.04225 164 129 27 8
863 We are here, but the truth is out there… 1.2621 0.04797 145 117 18 10
864 Third mall since we landed and we still can’t find a thing to wear. 1.2617 0.04405 149 117 25 7
865 I think we will have to order our captives online. 1.2614 0.04327 153 120 26 7
866 What is with these beings, all 'modern fashion' shops and no intergalactic transporter charging station?" 1.2611 0.04253 157 123 27 7
867 At least we know where we are now. 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
868 I'm a highly advanced being and I still can't figure out how to get to the Orange Julius. 1.2609 0.04363 161 128 24 9
869 We know where WE are, you idiot humans! Where are your damn BATHROOMS!? 1.2606 0.04459 165 133 21 11
870 We've entered a black hole. 1.2606 0.04082 142 108 31 3
871 Their leader must be this Macy. 1.2604 0.04302 169 135 24 10
872 We need a good clothing store. 1.2604 0.03871 169 130 34 5
873 Wait a minute… THEY GOT RID OF ORANGE JULIUS?! 1.2603 0.04767 146 118 18 10
874 This must be earthling hell 1.2600 0.04579 150 120 21 9
875 I knew it - they’re tracking us! 1.2598 0.03717 204 160 35 9
876 Take us to your sales leader. 1.2597 0.04400 154 122 24 8
877 OK, I'll meet you back here in an hour. 1.2597 0.04495 154 123 22 9
878 Our wormhole exit portal must be somewhere around here -- maybe we should "Fall into the Gap" and see what happens. 1.2595 0.04139 131 99 30 2
879 I told you we should have left earlier. Sears has been closed for light years now. 1.2595 0.04034 158 122 31 5
880 Okay...but which way is the Crab Nebula? 1.2595 0.04229 158 124 27 7
881 Where on earth is the Toilet!” 1.2595 0.04415 158 126 23 9
882 That still doesn’t help. 1.2595 0.04229 158 124 27 7
883 I've been told where to go, but never where I am. 1.2593 0.04159 162 127 28 7
884 All this way for Chick-fil-A and they’re closed on Sundays. 1.2593 0.04250 162 128 26 8
885 Come on, Rod! I really would like to get off this rock before the next election! Let's try exit F ... 1.2593 0.04339 162 129 24 9
886 What kind of planet doesn’t have an Orange Julius? 1.2593 0.04513 162 131 20 11
887 „We‘ll never find their leader!“ 1.2590 0.04717 139 111 20 8
888 ''I told you the government have been tracking us.'' 1.2587 0.04293 143 111 27 5
889 Bed Bath & Beyond my ass 1.2586 0.04049 174 137 29 8
890 Fine, but I’m not wearing low rise pants. 1.2585 0.04327 147 115 26 6
891 Our map of the galaxy is easier to follow than this! 1.2579 0.04299 159 126 25 8
892 We aren't in Roswell any more! 1.2579 0.04391 159 127 23 9
893 How primitive! Haven’t earthlings heard of Amazon Prime? 1.2577 0.03949 163 126 32 5
894 When you think about it, I guess Starbucks does really does rule this world. 1.2577 0.04227 163 129 26 8
895 At last, the answer to the greatest question in the universe! 1.2575 0.04411 167 135 21 11
896 But you don’t need any new clothes. 1.2575 0.03981 167 130 31 6
897 None of these stores say leader." 1.2575 0.04328 167 134 23 10
898 We'll just tell them, we're from Amazon 1.2571 0.04687 140 112 20 8
899 THIS is what that old guy ET was going on and on about? 1.2571 0.04576 140 111 22 7
900 Nothing on the map to indicate where we can find the leader. 1.2569 0.04596 144 115 21 8
901 Look for a Best Buy. I'll bet there's a geek there that can help us. 1.2569 0.04700 144 116 19 9
902 Let’s go find out Victoria’s Secret. 1.2568 0.04510 148 118 22 8
903 They seem to think space is infinite. 1.2568 0.04193 148 115 28 5
904 I don't know where to begin. Shoes? Jackets? Pants?" 1.2568 0.04193 148 115 28 5
905 I thought we were going to Area 51 1.2566 0.04226 152 119 27 6
906 I just want to see the ice cream store from Stranger Things. 1.2566 0.04122 152 118 29 5
907 Wow, a Mondrian! 1.2564 0.04155 156 122 28 6
908 Who’s a guy gotta probe in this joint to get an Orange Julius? 1.2564 0.04444 156 125 22 9
909 No, we're not. We're HERE. 1.2564 0.04253 156 123 26 7
910 Look, they have a Gap here too! 1.2563 0.03768 199 157 33 9
911 We spent less time going in circles in that cornfield in Nebraska! 1.2563 0.04275 160 127 25 8
912 The surveillance technology on this planet is out of this world. 1.2561 0.04204 164 130 26 8
913 You wanted to study human Anthropologie? 1.2560 0.04136 168 133 27 8
914 Just act normal 1.2558 0.04956 129 104 17 8
915 I sure hope there’s an all gender restroom. 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
916 “ I’m confused. I thought we were here!” 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
917 So... that's the large intestine? 1.2552 0.04671 145 117 19 9
918 A Walden Books?! What planet am I on?! 1.2550 0.04680 149 121 18 10
919 We can find Earth in another galaxy, but we can't find a washroom in a mall. 1.2550 0.04583 149 120 20 9
920 Strange planet! Earthlings go to a psychiatrist to find out who they are and the mall to find out where they are. 1.2550 0.04583 149 120 20 9
921 Now that we know where we are, where are the bathrooms? 1.2550 0.04483 149 119 22 8
922 Oh cripes, they know we're here, Janet! 1.2549 0.03892 204 164 28 12
923 Fine, let’s look around, but no Starbucks — they always get our names wrong. 1.2549 0.04402 153 122 23 8
924 Forget it! No store will hire you. You're an illegal alien 1.2549 0.04402 153 122 23 8
925 I told you to make a left at the Kuiper Belt, but you said I was wrong. When we saw Jupiter approaching, I begged you to ask for directions. But did you listen? Noooo...and now we're here." 1.2544 0.04199 169 135 25 9
926 So I guess this is retirement.” 1.2540 0.04207 126 96 28 2
927 After the episode in Florida, i’m sure they will just ignore us. 1.2537 0.04327 134 104 26 4
928 We have conquered space and time, so why do we have to travel half way across the solar system to buy a pair of pants? 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
929 How did they know we would be coming to this very spot? 1.2536 0.04607 138 110 21 7
930 Whatever, Mr 'i can read a map'. 1.2536 0.04607 138 110 21 7
931 We're way ahead in technology, but way behind in fashion. 1.2535 0.04291 142 111 26 5
932 70000 light years to get off the beaten track and we end up in another non-place 1.2535 0.04406 142 112 24 6
933 Our mind-control device is no match for the lure of these great selections and low, low prices. 1.2534 0.04743 146 119 17 10
934 You dragged me all the way here for Sharper Image? 1.2533 0.04144 150 117 27 5
935 See, this is exactly what happens when you refuse to ask for directions. 1.2533 0.04144 150 117 28 5
936 I said THE Washington Mall. You never listen. 1.2533 0.04354 150 119 24 7
937 I’m looking for something comfortable for our next flight. 1.2532 0.03969 154 119 31 4
938 Uh-oh, I think it says "Shirts and Shoes Required. 1.2532 0.03969 154 119 31 4
939 I need a Milky Way bar. 1.2532 0.04566 154 125 19 10
940 This clearance sale had better be worth the trip 1.2532 0.03969 154 119 31 4
941 How'd they know?" Must be more intelligent than we thought! 1.2532 0.04484 158 128 20 10
942 We're here -- where is leader? 1.2531 0.04136 162 128 27 7
943 Uh oh, we’ve crossed over to 2 dimensions. 1.2530 0.03887 166 129 32 5
944 So where's the saucer parked? 1.2529 0.04340 170 138 21 11
945 I can't believe we came all this way just to find out that the Nordstrom closed! 1.2529 0.04029 174 138 28 8
946 I told you that someone reported our landing... 1.2524 0.03670 206 163 34 9
947 Ah, it appears that the spacetime continuum is replete with Gaps. 1.2519 0.04513 131 103 23 5
948 “Space available on Level B. Perfect!” 1.2518 0.04462 139 110 23 6
949 You told me they would have Relief Stations here. I've been holding it for three millenia. 1.2518 0.04343 139 109 25 5
950 We’ve traveled back to June 16, 2015. Our mission is to sabotage that escalator there, and prevent the descent into chaos from ever happening. Universal peace is at stake! 1.2518 0.04577 139 111 21 7
951 No pants no service? How are we supposed to buy pants in the first place? 1.2518 0.04577 139 111 21 7
952 Look what they've done to the monolith we buried millenniums ago. 1.2518 0.04096 139 107 29 3
953 I know we are here, but how do we get there? 1.2517 0.04379 143 113 24 6
954 Let’s start at the Secret of Victoria. 1.2517 0.04714 147 120 17 10
955 Did you ever have that dream where you’re completely naked an nobody notices? 1.2517 0.04512 147 118 21 8
956 These are superior beings if they can figure out this map! 1.2516 0.03947 155 120 31 4
957 Which begs the question: Where is here? 1.2516 0.04182 159 126 26 7
958 Let's just ask for directions. What's the worst that could happen? 1.2516 0.04086 159 125 28 6
959 This isn’t as informative as I’d hoped 1.2515 0.04551 163 134 17 12
960 You mean we came all this way and there's no Macy's?? 1.2515 0.04048 167 132 28 7
961 Where is the terrestrial -neutral restroom? 1.2514 0.04009 175 139 28 8
962 No unisex??? 1.2514 0.03926 175 138 30 7
963 Yet another example of this planet's disinformation prowess! 1.2514 0.03926 175 138 30 7
964 This isn't right. They told us we would be living on the beach. 1.2500 0.04352 144 114 24 6
965 Let’s go see what her secret is. 1.2500 0.04570 144 116 20 8
966 Let's check out the sunglasses kiosk first so we won't stand out so much. 1.2500 0.04229 156 124 25 7
967 Is this their idea of a global positioning system? 1.2500 0.04054 148 115 29 4
968 We should have teleported. 1.2500 0.03877 152 117 32 3
969 Cinnabon second. Pants first. 1.2500 0.04239 144 113 26 5
970 How could it not be here? ‘Lonely Universe’ gave a 4 quasar rating to the Waldenbooks. 1.2500 0.04272 136 106 26 4
971 This proves it. We are HERE. 1.2500 0.03939 204 166 25 13
972 Did you spell desert with one s or two? 1.2500 0.04835 128 103 18 7
973 We shall be stranded in this galaxy forever. That human just told me ‘No returns after 7 days.’ 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
974 What do you mean there's no Radio Shack? 1.2500 0.04437 128 100 24 4
975 No, we are not 1.2500 0.04091 164 130 27 7
976 The Clothes Encounters outlet seems like a good bet. 1.2486 0.03945 173 137 29 7
977 sunglasses? let's worry about that after we get some clothes! 1.2484 0.04041 161 127 28 6
978 But where do we go from "here"? 1.2484 0.04229 161 129 24 8
979 First, Sunglass Hut. We don’t want to look conspicuous. 1.2484 0.04176 153 121 26 6
980 What did they DO to that guy? 1.2483 0.04030 149 115 29 4
981 You left your debit card on the last planet? 1.2483 0.04354 149 119 23 7
982 I didn't think they knew we existed, so how is it they know we're here? 1.2483 0.04249 149 118 25 6
983 Uh-oh, I think I left my wallet in my pants. 1.2483 0.04541 145 117 20 8
984 We should've just shopped online. 1.2483 0.04213 145 114 26 5
985 Don’t worry Squee, they have all the parts we need to fix the spaceship. Now, where is the Radio Shack? 1.2483 0.04541 145 117 20 8
986 Sure we can go to Claire's, but you don't have any ears to pierce. 1.2482 0.04519 141 113 21 7
987 If you’ve seen one shopping center on earth, you’ve seen the mall. 1.2482 0.04630 141 114 19 8
988 . ´´We have some work to do if they don’t even know where they are ‘ 1.2482 0.04289 141 111 25 5
989 You chose the wrong portal. Again! 1.2482 0.04608 137 110 20 7
990 What do you mean you forgot where we parked? 1.2482 0.04490 137 109 22 6
991 And you thought navigating the universe was complicated. 1.2482 0.04116 137 106 28 3
992 There’s nothing here we need. 1.2482 0.04490 137 109 22 6
993 You and Here enter the mall and are immediately confused by the sign. 1.2482 0.04369 137 108 24 5
994 This must be what they meant when they said "hell". 1.2481 0.04323 133 104 25 4
995 It looked better in the travel brochure. 1.2481 0.04323 133 104 25 4
996 I feel like our first stop should be a place where we can get pants… 1.2481 0.04579 133 106 21 6
997 Maybe the Shadow knows... 1.2471 0.04171 174 141 23 10
998 I'm not seeing their leader on this map. You? 1.2470 0.03956 166 131 29 6
999 See if they have a non-gender clothing store 1.2468 0.04084 158 125 27 6
1000 Ok we're here, but where's their leader? 1.2468 0.04352 154 124 22 8
1001 Who knew things would be so different if we went back 20 years in time? 1.2468 0.04152 154 122 26 6
1002 They said this is where we can buy some underwear. 1.2468 0.04152 154 122 26 6
1003 We're doomed. 1.2467 0.04328 150 120 23 7
1004 I have a feeling we're not in Roswell anymore. 1.2467 0.04431 150 121 21 8
1005 Can we please just find some skinny jeans and get out of here?! 1.2465 0.04143 142 111 27 4
1006 I have to take a shit. 1.2464 0.05019 138 115 12 11
1007 Wow. I thought we were there. 1.2464 0.04578 138 111 20 7
1008 Locating Earth was easier than locating the nearest restroom. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
1009 This planet looked a lot bigger from up there. 1.2463 0.04025 134 103 29 2
1010 Darn it! They know we are here. Quick, to the mothership. 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
1011 We need some clothes fast. Where is that Swift Taylor shop? 1.2453 0.04345 159 129 21 9
1012 Are you sure you entered Roswell in your GPS? 1.2452 0.04229 155 124 24 7
1013 How do we find their leader? 1.2450 0.03635 151 115 35 1
1014 I know you hate shopping, but I packed all the wrong clothes. 1.2450 0.04404 151 122 21 8
1015 “I miss Roswell." 1.2450 0.03871 151 117 31 3
1016 We’re not lost, we just don’t know where we are 1.2450 0.04404 151 122 21 8
1017 Forget their leader, I just need a bathroom... 1.2450 0.04600 151 124 17 10
1018 No wonder they can't get out of Earth orbit 1.2449 0.04162 147 116 26 5
1019 Do you think the Uber driver thought we said “Forever 21” instead of “Area 51”? 1.2449 0.04486 147 119 20 8
1020 By the looks of it - It appears to be the remains of an ancient human society 1.2449 0.04486 147 119 20 8
1021 I’m tired, let’s go home. 1.2448 0.04571 143 116 19 8
1022 First stop needs to be at a clothing store. 1.2448 0.04351 143 114 23 6
1023 We never went anywhere without a GPS 1.2448 0.03871 143 112 28 3
1024 Well the Sunglass Hut was a bust. 1.2448 0.04884 143 119 13 11
1025 Agreed - Space is easier. 1.2446 0.04313 139 110 24 5
1026 We've licked the speed of light, but I still can't find the washrooms. 1.2444 0.04135 135 105 27 3
1027 It says, “The Gap”. I hope it’s the one in the space/time continuum. 1.2444 0.04394 135 107 23 5
1028 I could've sworn this used to be a cornfield last time 1.2444 0.04394 135 107 23 5
1029 I like Andromeda‘s mall way better. 1.2444 0.04518 135 108 21 6
1030 When the heck did Roswell build a Mall? 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1031 It is finally sinking in that humans will never find our galaxy. 1.2439 0.04522 123 97 22 4
1032 We know we’re here, but why hasn’t anyone else noticed? 1.2436 0.04302 156 126 22 8
1033 Can you believe a planet where burgers are considered royalty? 1.2434 0.04174 152 121 25 6
1034 But they said the Cinnabon was out of this world? 1.2432 0.04247 148 118 24 6
1035 Unit 2632 said to meet her in the library, science fiction section. 1.2432 0.03909 148 115 30 3
1036 Do we have to be? 1.2432 0.03909 148 115 30 3
1037 Does it zoom out? 1.2431 0.04434 144 116 21 7
1038 but when? 1.2431 0.04543 144 117 19 8
1039 Yes dear, you know better than the GPS. 1.2429 0.04404 140 112 22 6
1040 Good God, they don’t even know they’re here. 1.2429 0.04164 140 110 26 4
1041 Damn, ther're onto us. 1.2426 0.04489 136 109 21 6
1042 I'm just saying, we should have made a left at Uranus. 1.2424 0.04182 132 103 26 3
1043 Why does everyone assume that you are the male? 1.2422 0.04802 128 104 17 7
1044 That's the third one. How does it know where we are? 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
1045 I'm telling Dad we came here. 1.2419 0.04773 124 100 18 6
1046 Are we, like, visible? 1.2419 0.04028 124 95 28 1
1047 Good to know. 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
1048 It was easier to navigate the Milky Way than it is to find a Sunglass Hut here. 1.2418 0.04352 153 124 21 8
1049 What do you mean, you forgot the receipt?! 1.2417 0.05020 120 98 15 7
1050 The humans are even dumber than we thought. 1.2416 0.04222 149 119 24 6
1051 It’s a small world after all. 1.2416 0.04001 149 117 28 4
1052 Clothes were fun! Do you want to look for hats or shoes now? 1.2414 0.04407 145 117 21 7
1053 I thought you said they were self-aware? 1.2414 0.04407 145 117 21 7
1054 Out of business” sure is a popular place 1.2414 0.04297 145 116 23 6
1055 Yes, we will meet with their leader. But first Wetzel's Pretzels 1.2414 0.04070 174 141 24 9
1056 They weren´t kidding when they said: bed, bath and "beyond! 1.2414 0.04184 145 115 25 5
1057 Maybe the Burger King is their leader. 1.2411 0.04376 141 113 22 6
1058 it's a trap 1.2411 0.04259 141 112 24 5
1059 Honestly I’d rather stay naked than shop at any of these stores. 1.2409 0.04212 137 108 25 4
1060 Couldn’t you have chosen a rest stop with more clearly situated bathrooms? 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
1061 We need some clothes. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
1062 Nope. Back to the ship. No Cinnabon. 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
1063 We’re gonna need a bigger map 1.2406 0.04909 133 110 14 9
1064 Is this it? The whole planet? 1.2405 0.04438 158 130 18 10
1065 How did they know so quickly we were here? 1.2403 0.04371 129 102 23 4
1066 Hey, look! It’s Jackson. I wonder if he remembers us from the abduction. 1.2403 0.05016 129 107 13 9
1067 I told you--Orange Julius closed lightyears ago. 1.2403 0.04228 154 124 23 7
1068 I think we landed our space ship by the h and m 1.2400 0.04197 150 120 24 6
1069 I forgot this planet no longer has Orange Julius. 1.2400 0.04302 150 121 22 7
1070 Intriguing. How do they know? 1.2400 0.04873 125 102 16 7
1071 I do not want to be here! 1.2397 0.04271 146 117 23 6
1072 I told you to ask the Centauris for directions but Nooo 1.2397 0.03925 146 114 29 3
1073 I don’t see Area 51 1.2397 0.04271 146 117 23 6
1074 To accomplish our mission, it's vital to find out exactly what Victoria's secret is. 1.2397 0.04236 121 94 25 2
1075 Oh good. They have my makeup store here. 1.2394 0.04462 142 115 20 7
1076 A black hole would have been more fun than this place 1.2394 0.04572 142 116 18 8
1077 We managed to travel seventy light years to get here and still can’t manage to find the bathroom. 1.2394 0.04232 142 113 24 5
1078 I told Siri ‘get me directions to Mars’ but she must have misunderstood. 1.2394 0.04348 142 114 22 6
1079 I've already forgotten which parking area we crash-landed in. 1.2391 0.04247 138 112 20 5
1080 How can we be in two places at once??? 1.2388 0.04261 134 106 24 4
1081 I hope this isn’t one of those places where you need a wormhole to find the exit. 1.2388 0.04517 134 108 20 6
1082 I don't believe "Out of this World Clothing Shop" means what you think it does. 1.2387 0.04302 155 126 21 8
1083 I could have sworn we parked the saucer on B7 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
1084 So much for Mission Radio Shack. 1.2384 0.04276 151 122 22 7
1085 The entire universe and we end up here? 1.2384 0.04064 151 120 26 5
1086 I knew we should have taken a left turn at Alpha Centauri. 1.2381 0.04245 147 118 23 6
1087 They know where we are? 1.2378 0.04543 143 117 18 8
1088 The galaxy is easier to navigate! 1.2378 0.03965 143 112 28 3
1089 This was a long trip for only three options at the food court 1.2378 0.04087 143 113 26 4
1090 "What’s Ladies Lingerie?" 1.2378 0.04434 143 116 20 7
1091 These don't work on our planet either 1.2378 0.04321 143 115 22 6
1092 We're too late. They're already slaves to consumerism. 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
1093 We’ve made it to Shopper’s World. 1.2374 0.04402 139 112 21 6
1094 How did they figure it out? 1.2374 0.04031 139 109 27 3
1095 This music sounds so familiar 1.2373 0.04915 118 96 16 6
1096 No restrooms here, either...sigh 1.2370 0.04487 135 109 20 6
1097 And humans think crop circles are vague. 1.2370 0.04233 135 107 24 4
1098 What time is your mom getting us again? 1.2370 0.04100 135 106 26 3
1099 And I thought finding our way to the planet was hard... 1.2368 0.04147 152 122 24 6
1100 I told you a million times that Amazon Prime would have been quicker 1.2366 0.04703 131 107 17 7
1101 I thought you said there was an Orange Julius in this quadrant? 1.2366 0.04446 131 105 21 5
1102 They have no idea. 1.2366 0.04703 131 107 17 7
1103 Right place, wrong planet? 1.2366 0.04312 131 104 23 4
1104 There is not a mall in this universe still as good as it was pre-Amazon. 1.2365 0.04219 148 119 23 6
1105 To me, this whole place is a food court. 1.2365 0.04219 148 119 23 6
1106 Don’t you think we should be supporting local business? 1.2365 0.04219 148 119 23 6
1107 Do you member where we parked? 1.2364 0.04289 165 136 19 10
1108 It’s your turn, but choose something besides Cinnabon. 1.2364 0.04022 165 133 25 7
1109 You didn't leave the engine running, did you? 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1110 This is harder to understand than an interstellar plasma-wave corridor map. 1.2362 0.04803 127 104 16 7
1111 Where is Forever Area 51? 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1112 This makes me feel alienated. 1.2361 0.04406 144 117 20 7
1113 Wow, interesting locational positioning technology. 1.2358 0.04483 123 98 21 4
1114 Still not sure why the Celestial Leader sent us to study Banana Republics. 1.2358 0.04630 123 99 19 5
1115 All this materialistic consumerism makes me feel....I don't know...alienated, somehow. 1.2358 0.04771 123 100 17 6
1116 If that's where you are, where am I? 1.2358 0.04630 123 99 19 5
1117 You’ve gotta find an eyebrow salon and we both need an underwear store. 1.2357 0.04132 140 111 25 4
1118 Their technology is far more advanced than we thought. 1.2357 0.04373 140 113 21 6
1119 Oh no! Circuit City went out too! 1.2357 0.04254 140 112 23 5
1120 A few minutes in RadioShack and you'll forget the entire nine-year journey. 1.2357 0.03953 157 125 27 5
1121 I’ll get the probe and meet you in the food court in 10 minutes. 1.2353 0.04226 153 124 22 7
1122 You don't know how grateful I am that someone finally told us where we are. 1.2353 0.04205 136 108 24 4
1123 I told you it was a left turn at Alpha Centauri! 1.2349 0.04084 149 119 25 5
1124 ‘The Gap’ sounded more exotic from afar. 1.2349 0.04300 149 121 21 7
1125 Plastic surgery. Dental implants. Botox injections. Do we abduct them before or after all of that? 1.2348 0.04545 132 107 19 6
1126 The prime directive is clear that we cannot interfere with a civilization that does not have a RadioShack 1.2348 0.04416 132 106 21 5
1127 You navigated us 10 trillion miles and now you can’t find a restroom?! 1.2345 0.04154 145 116 24 5
1128 This is not Utah. It's Mall. 1.2345 0.04378 145 118 20 7
1129 Shoot. I forgot my wallet. 1.2344 0.04073 128 100 26 2
1130 Woolworth's is gone?? 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
1131 Well, you got us here from Arcturus, why can't you find the bathroom? 1.2344 0.04638 128 104 18 6
1132 Do we HAVE to go to Sephora? 1.2342 0.03720 158 124 31 3
1133 They show you where you are, but they don't show where the teleporter is located. 1.2340 0.04227 141 113 23 5
1134 127 light-years to get here and you park on the wrong side 1.2339 0.04596 124 100 19 5
1135 Should we tell them we built the malls too? 1.2339 0.04737 124 101 17 6
1136 Next time we come for Black Friday, we need to factor in the time difference 1.2336 0.04048 137 108 26 3
1137 You forgot the reusable bags, didn't you? 1.2333 0.04694 120 97 18 5
1138 What fresh hell is this?! 1.2333 0.04984 120 99 14 7
1139 Paris, New York, Tokyo.. 1.2333 0.04694 120 97 18 5
1140 78 light years to the planet without a wrong turn and now we can't find J Crew 1.2333 0.04168 150 121 23 6
1141 Oooh Starbucks has a branch in this galaxy, too. 1.2333 0.04060 150 120 25 5
1142 What a long strange trip it’s been. 1.2331 0.04514 133 108 19 6
1143 But we've come so far 1.2331 0.04386 133 107 21 5
1144 So confusing. Let’s phone home. 1.2329 0.04012 146 116 26 4
1145 Starbucks? We may be able to make a fortune here! 1.2329 0.04351 146 119 20 7
1146 They closed Sears! Where are we supposed to get tools to fix our ship? 1.2329 0.04241 146 118 22 6
1147 You were right. We're pretty much alone in the cosmos after all. 1.2326 0.04735 129 106 16 7
1148 Why is it so hard to find normal jeans? 1.2326 0.04735 129 106 16 7
1149 It was easier finding this planet. 1.2324 0.04201 142 114 23 5
1150 Didn't it used to be next to Bed Bath and Beyond...? 1.2324 0.03956 142 112 27 3
1151 We travel 50,000,000,000 light years and NOW you choose now and here to stop for directions? 1.2324 0.04080 142 113 25 4
1152 ...and Mars is where?" "Let's ask security. 1.2324 0.03956 142 112 27 3
1153 I swear there used to be a Radio Shack here. 1.2323 0.03971 155 124 26 5
1154 There's no White House, but Waffle House sounds good. 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
1155 Just as I suspected. We landed in New Jersey. 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
1156 Would we fit in better if we got some underwear? 1.2319 0.04277 138 111 22 5
1157 Getting here was the easy part. 1.2319 0.04022 138 109 26 3
1158 I told you to park at the other entrance. 1.2318 0.04249 151 123 21 7
1159 Look casual. They're onto us already. 1.2316 0.03905 177 144 25 8
1160 I'm famished. How many light years to the food court? 1.2313 0.04357 134 108 21 5
1161 Fine. One last Orange Julius, then we annihilate humanity. 1.2313 0.04727 134 111 15 8
1162 Clothes encounters of the worst kind 1.2313 0.04607 134 109 17 7
1163 Uh oh, I left my wallet at home. 1.2313 0.04357 134 108 21 5
1164 Staring, humbled and defeated, Grylax and Dirvion, master intergalactic cartographers, had finally met their match. 1.2313 0.04727 134 111 15 8
1165 Try under “P” for probe. 1.2308 0.04174 143 115 23 5
1166 Well, we're sure as hell not in Kansas anymore. 1.2308 0.04096 117 91 25 1
1167 Here? Where? 1.2308 0.04291 143 116 21 6
1168 As predicted, it seems they're leaderless and wandering around aimlessly. 1.2308 0.04573 130 106 18 6
1169 We came from 236 million light years away and the Apple Store is closed. 1.2308 0.04174 143 115 23 5
1170 We’re here! Good to know. I thought we were there. Phew! 1.2308 0.04514 143 118 17 8
1171 You left the location sharing on again. 1.2308 0.03931 143 113 27 3
1172 Who do you think Victoria is and what is her Secret? 1.2303 0.03904 165 133 26 6
1173 Translation: "I thought the brochure said this planet was clothing optional." 1.2302 0.04370 139 113 20 6
1174 Unbelievable! We traveled 3 light years only to discover Cinnabon is in bankruptcy! 1.2302 0.04249 139 112 22 5
1175 They must have a very sophisticated tracking device. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
1176 No sign of leaders office. But there’s a Starbucks! 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
1177 We could have bought it on line . 1.2302 0.04933 126 105 13 8
1178 Actually, I'm pretty sure I'd like to kill humanity even more now. 1.2302 0.04668 126 103 17 6
1179 E.T.go Home Hardware 1.2297 0.04190 148 120 22 6
1180 Do you by chance remember where we parked? 1.2296 0.04454 135 110 19 6
1181 There’s a food court… Will they send us to prison for eating??? 1.2296 0.04454 135 110 19 6
1182 This is the last time that we drive all the way here just to shop for clothes. 1.2292 0.04148 144 116 23 5
1183 As suspected ... a lost species with a limited ability to perceive things beyond their present circumstance. 1.2292 0.04376 144 118 19 7
1184 Let’s we start with someone to eat. 1.2290 0.04542 131 107 18 6
1185 As art it doesn't move me. 1.2290 0.04669 131 108 16 7
1186 This mall is flat 1.2290 0.04542 131 107 18 6
1187 Cinnabon? That sounds like an element we could use. 1.2290 0.04542 131 107 18 6
1188 Take us to your theater. 1.2286 0.04098 140 112 24 4
1189 How much have ya got on you? 1.2283 0.04060 127 100 25 2
1190 Where? 1.2283 0.04635 127 104 17 6
1191 If you would have worn your fanny pack, you wouldn’t have to go back to the spaceship for your credit card. 1.2283 0.04357 127 102 21 4
1192 Let's find the Abercrombie & Fitch - their clothes fit us perfectly. 1.2282 0.04677 149 126 12 11
1193 It really makes you feel insignificant when you see it like this. 1.2276 0.04591 123 100 18 5
1194 I may not understand - are you ‘YOU’, or are you ‘HERE’? 1.2276 0.04734 123 101 16 6
1195 ‘I thought these places were extinct?’ 1.2276 0.04443 123 99 20 4
1196 We better hit up SUNGLASSES HUT first. 1.2273 0.04381 132 107 20 5
1197 What do you mean you have something to return? 1.2273 0.04511 132 108 18 6
1198 .”I can’t believe Sharper Image is gone !” 1.2273 0.04274 154 127 19 8
1199 Last mall on the planet Earth 1.2270 0.04195 141 114 22 5
1200 You bring me 47 light years and you want to go shopping? 1.2270 0.03946 141 112 26 3
1201 That's oddly specific. 1.2269 0.04839 119 98 15 6
1202 Hey! They have Wetzel's Pretzels on this planet, too. 1.2269 0.04375 119 95 21 3
1203 Uh… Look under “L” for “leader”. 1.2269 0.04209 119 94 23 2
1204 I think we made a wrong turn at Alpha Centauri. 1.2266 0.04466 128 104 19 5
1205 So where is the gender-neutral restroom? 1.2266 0.04327 128 103 21 4
1206 You said, and I quote, ‘Show me their most antiquated technology.’ 1.2266 0.04602 128 105 17 6
1207 The forbidden zone is an area you can never escape from. It’s called IKEA. 1.2266 0.04602 128 105 17 6
1208 Doesn't that seem obvious? 1.2266 0.04327 128 103 21 4
1209 It looks like the engine repair is not going to happen now that Radio Shack is gone 1.2266 0.04327 128 103 21 4
1210 I thought they were more advanced than this. 1.2264 0.03882 159 128 26 5
1211 We forgot to validate the parking. 1.2263 0.04012 137 109 25 3
1212 I believe this is what the natives refer to as "abstract art." 1.2263 0.04747 137 115 13 9
1213 Can we stop at Starbucks before we get their leader? 1.2263 0.04395 137 112 19 6
1214 Let's go to "You Are Here" so we know where we are. 1.2263 0.04395 137 112 19 6
1215 We traveled HOW FAR? And No Orange Julius!?! 1.2263 0.04143 137 110 23 4
1216 Great. Spent too long close to the speed of light, and now we've missed the skinny jeans epoch. 1.2261 0.04950 115 95 14 6
1217 I warned you we were entering a black hole. 1.2261 0.04464 115 92 20 3
1218 My gosh!! Such a hostile planet! Now that they’ve identified us, they’re telling everyone our location! 1.2260 0.04211 146 119 21 6
1219 Do you think we will get in trouble for parking on the roof? 1.2260 0.04535 146 122 15 9
1220 They have a Uniqlo too. 1.2260 0.04097 146 118 23 5
1221 Looks like we showed up too late for RadioShack. 1.2258 0.04699 124 102 16 6
1222 What’s a You Are? 1.2258 0.04699 124 102 16 6
1223 Change of plans. Clothing first, then cinnamon buns. 1.2258 0.04557 124 101 18 5
1224 I told you the gap wasn’t an anomaly in the space-time continuum. 1.2258 0.04557 124 101 18 5
1225 It appears humans are predominantly concerned about women’s clothing. 1.2258 0.04557 124 101 18 5
1226 Looks like the flat earth conspiracy is true. 1.2258 0.04347 155 129 17 9
1227 It appears we’ve arrived too late to save the Rainforest Cafes. 1.2258 0.04411 124 100 20 4
1228 Yeah, but where are we? 1.2256 0.04218 133 107 22 4
1229 We better go, the humans know we are here. 1.2256 0.03939 133 105 26 2
1230 Hot Topic. 2nd floor. We’ll blend right in. 1.2256 0.04218 133 107 22 4
1231 This place smells of sadness. Let’s just order it from Amazon. 1.2256 0.04351 133 108 20 5
1232 I didn’t know it was possible for one entity to have so many frivolous needs. 1.2254 0.04401 142 117 18 7
1233 I was hoping there’d be a Talbots. 1.2250 0.04945 120 100 13 7
1234 You should have seen her expression when you took out your credit card. 1.2250 0.04945 120 100 13 7
1235 First, clothing at Urban Outfitters, then we lease an outer space. 1.2248 0.04435 129 105 19 5
1236 One more lap around the mall and I've got my steps in for the day, 1.2248 0.04435 129 105 19 5
1237 I told you we shouldn’t turn right at Albuquerque. 1.2248 0.04435 129 105 19 5
1238 I think we took a wrong turn at Albuquerque. 1.2246 0.04243 138 112 21 5
1239 Darn. I left my coupons at home. 1.2245 0.04185 147 120 21 6
1240 And you thought space was empty! 1.2241 0.04429 116 93 20 3
1241 Oh no, I don't see Area 51 on the map, now where do we go? 1.2240 0.04074 125 99 24 2
1242 I thought we were supposed to land at a strip mall. 1.2240 0.04524 125 102 18 5
1243 Did we turn off the stove? 1.2240 0.04230 125 100 22 3
1244 What do you mean you don’t know how to read a map? 1.2240 0.04524 125 102 18 5
1245 Trust me, it’s cheaper to fly down here than pay for shipping. 1.2239 0.04449 134 110 18 6
1246 Who cares about intelligent life? They have hot dogs on sticks! 1.2239 0.04322 134 109 20 5
1247 I can't believe this place still exists. 1.2239 0.04322 134 109 20 5
1248 If I knew the Hammacher Schlemmer was now on-line only, I wouldn't have made the trip. Let's get some Burger Chef to go. 1.2238 0.04259 143 117 20 6
1249 Yes, but why are we really here? 1.2238 0.04259 143 117 20 6
1250 I didn’t expect us to get lost in this kind of space! 1.2237 0.03757 152 121 28 3
1251 What's the sign for 'Restrooms' on this planet again 1.2231 0.04667 130 108 15 7
1252 I think we should have split that edible. 1.2231 0.04916 130 110 11 9
1253 Getting in was easy. How do we get out? 1.2231 0.04267 130 105 21 4
1254 Clothes! I think first we need clothes . 1.2230 0.03960 139 111 25 3
1255 Wow! They even have to be told where they are. 1.2230 0.04456 139 115 17 7
1256 You you or me you? 1.2230 0.04337 139 114 19 6
1257 Do you think they have a 30,000 light year return policy? 1.2230 0.04456 139 115 17 7
1258 Why do they always make it so hard to find the damned bathroom? 1.2230 0.04215 139 113 21 5
1259 I think we're in the wrong place. 1.2230 0.04215 139 113 21 5
1260 I thought these were extinct 1.2230 0.04048 148 120 23 5
1261 But which way is home? 1.2222 0.04419 135 111 18 6
1262 Because I need a hat. I'm always cold without a hat. 1.2222 0.04233 144 118 20 6
1263 What's a "rest room?" 1.2222 0.03746 144 114 28 2
1264 This makes me feel so alienated! 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1265 I think that Earth Travel Guide is seriously out of date. Not one person is wearing a Palm Frond. 1.2222 0.04293 135 110 20 5
1266 Is this a sign of intelligent life?" 1.2222 0.04348 126 102 20 4
1267 So we know where we are, but I wonder if anyone one else has ever forgotten where they parked their vehicle? 1.2222 0.04293 135 110 20 5
1268 If we can't beam up a bovine, can we at least build a bear?” 1.2222 0.04631 126 104 16 6
1269 We came 23 light years and we can't even find the bathroom? 1.2222 0.04272 153 127 18 8
1270 I'm cold. Lets go to that store that sells space heaters. 1.2222 0.04348 126 102 20 4
1271 We need a new GPS 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1272 That’s good to know. 1.2222 0.04046 126 100 24 2
1273 Let’s do some shopping and meet back here in a light year. 1.2222 0.04233 144 118 20 6
1274 I guess we should start with that clothing store 1.2222 0.04162 135 109 22 4
1275 I told you. 1.2214 0.04309 140 115 19 6
1276 So where do we start? Ladies ready-to-wear or Men’s casual? 1.2214 0.04309 140 115 19 6
1277 They really did lose hold after the Picasso era. 1.2214 0.04374 131 107 19 5
1278 they are going to be suspicious that we don't cast shadows 1.2214 0.04097 131 105 23 3
1279 I prefer the Twilight Zone. 1.2214 0.03951 131 104 25 2
1280 It may be a map, but I still feel lost in space. 1.2213 0.04871 122 102 13 7
1281 I don't need to be human to know that is horrible graphic design! 1.2213 0.04279 122 98 21 3
1282 This is a terrible map. I see now why so many earthlings think the earth is flat 1.2213 0.04279 122 98 21 3
1283 Now our cover is blown. They know where we are! 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
1284 I know we are “Here”, but Where Are We Going? 1.2208 0.03826 154 124 26 4
1285 It appears that the Nordstrom Hegemony controls almost the entirety of the Alpha Quadrant." 1.2208 0.04146 154 127 20 7
1286 Who is Victoria and why does she have a secret? 1.2207 0.04206 145 119 20 6
1287 If we are here, then where is their leader? 1.2207 0.04318 145 120 18 7
1288 Why do the men and the women go to the same restaurants but different rest rooms? 1.2205 0.04317 127 103 20 4
1289 They talk about it, but they don't really understand how the multiverse works, do they? 1.2205 0.04317 127 103 20 4
1290 Information Insufficient. 1.2205 0.04317 127 103 20 4
1291 I’m not making it up. I swear this used to be a cow field. 1.2205 0.04317 127 103 20 4
1292 If it's secret then why is Victoria in the directory? 1.2203 0.04362 118 95 20 3
1293 See if it zooms out. 1.2203 0.04193 118 94 22 2
1294 I wish we’d never heard of Panera. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
1295 And this is where your parents named you, Commander Warby Parker? 1.2199 0.04623 141 119 13 9
1296 How can they tell us where we are with a two dimensional map?? 1.2199 0.04281 141 116 19 6
1297 Malls are dying, and ‘fulfillment centers’ are coming to Mars.” 1.2199 0.04038 141 114 23 4
1298 This was much busier last time we were here. 1.2197 0.04069 132 106 23 3
1299 But can't you get it cheaper online? 1.2195 0.04248 123 99 21 3
1300 “I’m not seeing ‘leader’ on here, do you think we should ask?” 1.2195 0.04402 123 100 19 4
1301 On our planet that store is called Bed, Bath and Here 1.2195 0.04695 123 102 15 6
1302 Anything we pick will be three trillion years out of style back home. 1.2195 0.04402 123 100 19 4
1303 We finally make it to the Sunglass Hut and it occurs to me, we don’t have ears. 1.2193 0.04787 114 94 15 5
1304 Do your thing, I'll wait here. 1.2193 0.04946 114 95 13 6
1305 Dang this planet doesn’t have orange Julius anymore either 1.2193 0.04451 114 92 19 3
1306 We travel 3 million light years only to find out that Filene's Basement is closed 1.2192 0.04400 146 122 16 8
1307 We are light years away from the food court. 1.2190 0.04482 137 114 16 7
1308 No, first look at clothing stores, then we can go to the food court. 1.2190 0.04236 137 112 20 5
1309 How do we zoom out? 1.2188 0.04565 128 106 16 6
1310 Where is Area 51? 1.2188 0.04141 128 103 22 3
1311 I guess we fell into the gap. 1.2188 0.03990 128 102 24 2
1312 Remember: We're looking for alien-friendly, anatomically-neutral clothing. 1.2185 0.03746 151 121 27 3
1313 They already are wise to us. 1.2185 0.04162 119 95 22 2
1314 Getting sunglasses will make us less conspicuous. 1.2183 0.04254 142 117 19 6
1315 Ah, there's the problem. We're supposed to go There. 1.2180 0.04444 133 110 17 6
1316 I can circumnavigate deep space but I have no idea how to find H&M. 1.2180 0.04571 133 111 15 7
1317 If this is the start, I don’t think I want to know where it ends 1.2180 0.04314 133 109 19 5
1318 Returns? Maybe? 1.2177 0.04799 124 104 13 7
1319 Why did we come here again? 1.2177 0.04660 124 103 15 6
1320 I'm beginning to think their no questions asked return policy was a scam. 1.2177 0.04217 124 100 21 3
1321 They were right. Long Island really is the worst. 1.2177 0.04517 124 102 17 5
1322 Are you sure this is the right galaxy? You never ask for directions. 1.2177 0.04370 124 101 19 4
1323 What do you suppose a "Fuddrucker" is? 1.2177 0.04040 147 120 22 5
1324 I think we parked by that section there... the area marked 51. 1.2177 0.04154 147 121 20 6
1325 Okay, there's the Piercing Pagoda. But I still don't know what you're gonna pierce. 1.2174 0.04080 138 112 22 4
1326 The Arcade? I’ve always wanted to play Area 51 1.2174 0.04240 115 92 21 2
1327 Where’s the restroom? 1.2171 0.04060 152 125 21 6
1328 We better start with finding clothes. 1.2171 0.03724 152 122 27 3
1329 Our invisibility shield must be broken! 1.2171 0.04257 129 105 20 4
1330 Did you tell? 1.2171 0.04112 129 104 22 3
1331 I think we came in through another dimension. 1.2171 0.04257 129 105 20 4
1332 Why aren't the damn planets labeled? 1.2171 0.03962 129 103 24 2
1333 Step 1: Pants. Step 2: Rule the planet. Mwahahaha… Time out. Soft pretzel. Then pants. 1.2170 0.05017 106 88 13 5
1334 Left my wallet in the ship, I'll meet you in the food court. 1.2170 0.04645 106 86 17 3
1335 It said Earth, I swear. 1.2168 0.04342 143 119 17 7
1336 Perhaps we can unwrap the mysteries of this planet at Victoria’s Secret. 1.2167 0.04611 120 99 16 5
1337 We know where we are, but where are the phones!? 1.2167 0.04906 120 101 12 7
1338 Oy.....Another black hole! 1.2167 0.04131 120 96 22 2
1339 Why can they never just show you where their leader is? Why do they make us ask every single time? 1.2167 0.04131 120 96 22 2
1340 This makes you realize how incredibly big the shopping center is! 1.2164 0.04152 134 109 21 4
1341 I knew we shoulda made that left turn at Albuquerque. 1.2164 0.04285 134 110 19 5
1342 We saw we the bed, we saw the bath, but I think they were out of the beyond 1.2162 0.03780 148 119 26 3
1343 How do they know you are here? 1.2162 0.04508 111 90 18 3
1344 Remember, Cinnabons, cargo pants, Ray-Bans. 1.2160 0.04338 125 102 19 4
1345 Where is “leader” labeled? 1.2160 0.04030 125 100 23 2
1346 The orders said to find their leader in White House after landing on the mall, not at the mall 1.2160 0.04187 125 101 21 3
1347 I hope their leader is close to the bubble tea spot. 1.2160 0.04338 125 102 19 4
1348 I we are here, where in this world is there. 1.2158 0.04054 139 113 22 4
1349 Where can we buy Earth Shoes? 1.2158 0.04054 139 113 22 4
1350 Too existential…let’s blur 1.2155 0.04550 116 95 17 4
1351 Even they don't know where they are. 1.2154 0.04366 130 107 18 5
1352 Why do they insist on naming us "here?" 1.2154 0.04501 130 108 16 6
1353 Can you zoom it out? 1.2154 0.04501 130 108 16 6
1354 This isn't helping me find where we parked. 1.2154 0.04227 130 106 20 4
1355 But where are OUR bathrooms? 1.2152 0.04244 158 133 16 9
1356 How's that even possible? 1.2149 0.04725 121 101 14 6
1357 I've never liked plaid. 1.2149 0.04577 121 100 16 5
1358 We found out way to the planet, but this is impossible. 1.2149 0.03929 121 96 24 1
1359 Do you think they take traveller's's cheques? 1.2149 0.04725 121 101 14 6
1360 RadioShack should have it 1.2149 0.04424 121 99 18 4
1361 Look For a space station, or maybe a Shake Shack. 1.2148 0.03988 135 109 23 3
1362 We need to acquire pants promptly, or security will have us arrested again. 1.2143 0.04028 140 114 22 4
1363 Dang! These are the same stores we have back home! 1.2143 0.04307 126 103 19 4
1364 Those moving stairs scare the bejesus out of me. 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
1365 Look! New Yorkers are always one step ahead. They tell us where we are before we've even arrived. 1.2143 0.04728 126 106 13 7
1366 No, I don't remember where we parked. I thought you knew." 1.2143 0.04275 140 116 18 6
1367 Very 2001. 1.2143 0.04307 126 103 19 4
1368 Isn't this why we sent one of our own?" "I hear he goes by 'Bezos' on this planet. 1.2143 0.04157 126 102 21 3
1369 I think this map misses the bigger picture. 1.2137 0.04469 131 109 16 6
1370 Let's order from Amazon and go home. 1.2137 0.03908 131 105 24 2
1371 Of course when we go the mall naked we run into the ONE person who still shops in person. 1.2137 0.04198 131 107 20 4
1372 Honey, I really gotta pee. 1.2137 0.04336 131 108 18 5
1373 We're screwed. None of these shapes looks like the planet Earth. 1.2137 0.04198 131 107 20 4
1374 No wonder they haven't been able to find us yet! 1.2137 0.04175 117 94 21 2
1375 Wait, where did we park the spaceship? 1.2137 0.03806 117 92 25 0
1376 Look, these humans actually need a sign to learn where they are at this moment. 1.2137 0.04514 117 96 17 4
1377 Clothing? 1.2137 0.03995 117 93 23 1
1378 This place is deader than the 4th Nebula of Tartoomi, and that’s saying something. 1.2137 0.04514 117 96 17 4
1379 Food Court" must be where the king resides 1.2137 0.04348 117 95 19 3
1380 And how does this help us find out where we parked our safer? 1.2137 0.04175 117 94 21 2
1381 Space exploration was a breeze compared to this. 1.2137 0.04348 117 95 19 3
1382 You are here? Of course we here. Where else would we be? Silly humans. 1.2137 0.04348 117 95 19 3
1383 And they complain about Mercury being retrograde 1.2136 0.05098 103 86 12 5
1384 its easier to navigate the galaxy than this awful mall 1.2132 0.04228 136 112 19 5
1385 These humans have systems and capacities beyond anything we are capable of. 1.2131 0.04689 122 102 14 6
1386 For some reason every human we probe ends up working here. 1.2131 0.04234 122 99 20 3
1387 Anywhere but Chik-Fil-A. 1.2130 0.05104 108 91 11 6
1388 Oh, sure! But it doesn't say which universe! 1.2130 0.04171 108 86 21 1
1389 I wonder if this “J Crew” could be some sort of meeting place for us? But how would they already know we’re from Jupiter? 1.2128 0.03873 141 114 24 3
1390 I can't find the bathroom anywhere... Can't you just hold it in until we get back to our home planet? 1.2128 0.03873 141 114 24 3
1391 It's only two-dimensional! 1.2126 0.04420 127 105 17 5
1392 If you were an intergalactic fugitive, where would you hide? 1.2126 0.04127 127 103 21 3
1393 First stop should be Sunglass Hut, so we can blend in. 1.2126 0.04953 127 109 9 9
1394 I told you we were being tracked. 1.2126 0.04559 127 106 15 6
1395 I've never really ever felt like I've belonged anywhere before. 1.2126 0.04420 127 105 17 5
1396 So much for AI, we’re lost. 1.2126 0.04127 127 103 21 3
1397 Sorry, I accidentally set the time travel dial to 1992! 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
1398 The reviews said the place was out of this world 1.2124 0.04941 113 95 12 6
1399 In what universe was coming to this fashion desert a good idea? 1.2124 0.04611 113 93 16 4
1400 I’m gravitating towards ordering it online. 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
1401 We are here but where is their leader? 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
1402 So this is the center of the universe? 1.2123 0.04260 146 122 17 7
1403 Oh my, Roswell has changed since we last were here. 1.2123 0.04032 146 120 21 5
1404 Star-bucks? Is that where mom said to meet her? 1.2121 0.04028 132 107 22 3
1405 Looks like the Gonads Store is across from the Apple Store. 1.2121 0.04692 132 112 12 8
1406 Why so many clothing shops? 1.2121 0.04028 132 107 22 3
1407 Whales have much more advanced communication skills. 1.2121 0.04169 132 108 20 4
1408 Are you sure this is where the cool aliens hang out? 1.2119 0.03965 118 94 23 1
1409 From all the stories I've heard, I thought the Roswell mall would be more impressive. 1.2119 0.04315 118 96 19 3
1410 That’s not what the government says. 1.2119 0.04638 118 98 15 5
1411 If we are here where is everyone else? 1.2119 0.04480 118 97 17 4
1412 This will take us to their leading retailers. 1.2119 0.03965 118 94 23 1
1413 So what? Let's go home. 1.2117 0.03936 137 111 23 3
1414 Take me to your Lululemon 1.2117 0.04200 137 113 19 5
1415 When we're done evaporating the humans can I get an Orange Julius? 1.2117 0.04683 137 117 11 9
1416 🔽🔼◀️▶️⏪️⏩️⏮️⏭️↔️↖️↙️⬅️⬇️🔼◀️🔽↘️➡️🔽🔼◀️⏬️⬅️⬇️↕️↔️ 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1417 Oh, sure,” you said, “turn right at Alpha Centauri.” Does this look like Santranginus V? Just because you’re a man, you couldn’t look at a map 1.2114 0.04509 123 102 16 5
1418 Their tech is more advanced than we thought” 1.2114 0.04358 123 101 18 4
1419 OK, now let’s see where that ET&T store is so we can phone home. 1.2114 0.04795 123 104 12 7
1420 I heard Macy's is having a sale. 1.2113 0.03977 142 116 22 4
1421 Orange Julious is gone?!? So we traveled 367 million light years for nothing… 1.2113 0.04670 142 122 10 10
1422 I thought we were aliens! 1.2110 0.04890 109 91 13 5
1423 Well, that doesn't really help. 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
1424 Why cant we ever just ASK for directions? 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
1425 You wanted strange. It was either this or Walmart. 1.2109 0.04526 128 107 15 6
1426 Where did you land for God’s sake?! 1.2109 0.04388 128 106 17 5
1427 I told you it must be an existential species. 1.2109 0.04388 128 106 17 5
1428 I thought you said we’d be low key. They already know we’re here! 1.2109 0.04246 128 105 19 4
1429 I see no signs for toilets, but it seems earthlings need a lot of rest. 1.2105 0.04740 114 95 14 5
1430 I told you they were on to us! 1.2105 0.04901 114 96 12 6
1431 It was not so complicated during our last visit, when everything was in caves. 1.2105 0.04276 133 110 18 5
1432 Looks like this planetary system revolves around food 1.2105 0.03920 152 125 22 5
1433 First, let’s cover ourselves so they stop asking how we have sex. 1.2105 0.04408 133 111 16 6
1434 Clothes. I don't care where, just get me some clothes. 1.2105 0.04141 133 109 20 4
1435 Wait…no more Bed, Bath & Beyond? 1.2105 0.04401 114 93 18 3
1436 No McDonalds? They said you can get EVERYTHING here! 1.2105 0.04574 114 94 16 4
1437 Meet me in the Food Court in about 76326 keezonks, give or take, I’m desperate for a poke bowl. 1.2101 0.03910 138 112 23 3
1438 What did the earthling mean by "No shoes, no shirt, no pants--no service?" I thought this was a clothing store! 1.2101 0.04112 119 96 21 2
1439 Before Amazon, the whole place was all-you-can-eat. 1.2101 0.04445 119 98 17 4
1440 Yikes! Talk about the emptiness of space… 1.2101 0.04445 119 98 17 4
1441 Try to avoid escalators — they make me nervous. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
1442 Why do we need to know where we are? It's the journey, not the destination. 1.2098 0.04422 143 121 14 8
1443 So where do we find Taylor Swift? 1.2098 0.03951 143 117 22 4
1444 Getting here from Andromeda was a piece of cake. Finding a restroom. . .not so much. 1.2097 0.03845 124 99 24 1
1445 I guess we should head to Planet Hollywood? 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
1446 I can’t understand any map that has less than 7 dimensions showing; how do they deal with only 2? 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
1447 Again with the Starbucks? 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
1448 Yes I know we're out of money, but I don't think "Starbucks" is what you think it is. 1.2093 0.04357 129 107 17 5
1449 Let's go home. This place sucks. 1.2093 0.04216 129 106 19 4
1450 I say we move on to a planet with more atmosphere. 1.2093 0.04070 129 105 21 3
1451 Lost and Found is on the 3rd Floor. 1.2093 0.04216 129 106 19 4
1452 Forget it. Even our Galactic Positioning System is useless here. 1.2093 0.04357 129 107 17 5
1453 Their form of GPS seems very archaic. 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
1454 I think we missed the sale!! 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
1455 Ahem... Take us to your restrooms. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
1456 Earth was easier to find than the Nike store" 1.2091 0.04104 110 88 21 1
1457 You are here"? But, are we really 1.2090 0.04627 134 114 12 8
1458 What about the food court that claims "Out of this world burgers and fries"? 1.2090 0.03974 134 109 22 3
1459 It's a trap—they want us to shop till we drop. 1.2087 0.04366 115 94 18 3
1460 Maybe we'll find what we need in the 'Beyond' section. 1.2087 0.04366 115 94 18 3
1461 They ... have ... captured ... our souls! 1.2087 0.04862 115 97 12 6
1462 No shirt, no shoes, no service. But how can we get shirts and shoes if they won’t give us service? This planet isn’t primitive, it’s just plain dumb. 1.2087 0.04188 115 93 20 2
1463 Dammit. I left my credit card at home. 1.2086 0.04268 139 116 17 6
1464 Are they kidding? It’s easier to find a star in our galaxy. 1.2083 0.04568 120 100 15 5
1465 So, women's shoes, huh? No problem, I just never knew. 1.2083 0.04568 120 100 15 5
1466 The "Beyond" section was a real disappointment. 1.2083 0.04568 120 100 15 5
1467 Let's go get some clothes so we fit in better! 1.2083 0.04568 120 100 15 5
1468 Hmm. Can you remember which car park we left the saucer in? 1.2083 0.04082 120 97 21 2
1469 First, let's find a clothing store! 1.2083 0.04282 144 121 16 7
1470 If we don't find a washroom soon,I'm gonna shzpritzill myself! 1.2080 0.03983 125 101 22 2
1471 Let's check it out. But try to be inconspicuous. 1.2080 0.04724 125 106 12 7
1472 We're not even close to the White House. 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
1473 But how does it fly? 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
1474 Now I know what feeling lost means. 1.2080 0.04142 125 102 20 3
1475 Ok. So I’ll grab her bags and you take her head. 1.2080 0.04724 125 106 12 7
1476 Forty million light years and no Pottery Barn?? 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
1477 We traveled a billion miles for this? 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
1478 Which way to the pickleball court? 1.2078 0.04087 154 129 18 7
1479 I told you they speak lego! 1.2077 0.04327 130 108 17 5
1480 I'm starting to think you flew us into that black hole after all! 1.2077 0.04327 130 108 17 5
1481 Where’s the clothing-optional area? 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
1482 You know what would go nicely here? A Cinnabon. 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
1483 Sure, but where did we park the saucer. 1.2075 0.04780 106 88 14 4
1484 Oh no. We traveled to the second dimension. 1.2074 0.04085 135 111 20 4
1485 The last part of the journey is always the longest. 1.2074 0.03948 135 110 22 3
1486 ejsy yjr jr;9 od hpomh pm stpimf jrtr??? Ejsy fprd oy rbrm dsu. smf ejsy fprd ]jrtr\rbrn mrsnz// Yhid plsnry id vtsxy!!!! 1.2074 0.04219 135 112 18 5
1487 Sorry, I forgot where we parked. 1.2072 0.04809 111 93 13 5
1488 Wow, they have Cheescake Factory on this planet too. 1.2072 0.04809 111 93 13 5
1489 Harold, I think we made a wrong turn. Mom said not to go past Venus without pants for a reason. 1.2072 0.04976 111 94 11 6
1490 That's the worst map of the galaxy I have ever seen. 1.2072 0.04635 111 92 15 4
1491 How dare they to tell us where we are. 1.2071 0.04241 140 117 17 6
1492 Who wears all this crap? 1.2069 0.03648 145 117 26 2
1493 ”What happened to ‘Monkey Wards’? 1.2069 0.04823 116 98 12 6
1494 But I thought Apple was a fruit 1.2069 0.03777 116 92 24 0
1495 Darn GPS. 1.2066 0.04378 121 100 17 4
1496 The Cinnabon here is out of this world. 1.2063 0.03955 126 102 22 2
1497 Drat! The humans have determined our location. 1.2063 0.04112 126 103 20 3
1498 "She said Nordstrom is her Mother Ship" 1.2063 0.03955 126 102 22 2
1499 Hmmm. ET said to turn left at the Cinnabon stand. 1.2063 0.04112 126 103 20 3
1500 Damn it, Zorvax, Cinnabon is on the other side. 1.2063 0.04823 126 108 10 8
1501 It seems we’ve arrived at the center of the super-massive black hole of wanton materialism our scientists predict will eventually consume this primitive species and reduce it to puddles of ectoplasm. 1.2063 0.04689 126 107 12 7
1502 They call our planet Spencer Gifts. 1.2063 0.04264 126 104 18 4
1503 So no skinny jeans. Got it. 1.2063 0.04264 126 104 18 4
1504 This Crate & Barrel better have that blanket you want. 1.2061 0.04014 131 107 21 3
1505 If this is your idea of an adventurous date, I am not impressed. 1.2061 0.04157 131 108 19 4
1506 The Cheese Cake Factory or Panara? 1.2061 0.04431 131 110 15 6
1507 We could have parked a little closer in Lot A, but no, you had to take the first open spot. 1.2061 0.04431 131 110 15 6
1508 Ooooo let’s go see the depressed retail workers next! 1.2061 0.04431 131 110 15 6
1509 They closed Spencer’s?! 1.2059 0.04563 136 116 12 8
1510 I'll take their word for it, but that's not a galaxy I recognize. 1.2059 0.04190 136 113 18 5
1511 This is harder than interplanetary navigation! 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1512 Well, they have incredibly small eyes and strange-looking genitalia. 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
1513 Error alert. Spelling matters. Our mission to ‘maul’ humankind. 1.2057 0.04091 141 117 19 5
1514 We could start with underwear. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
1515 Shadow casting is so cool. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
1516 If this their idea of not getting lost, no wonder why they haven't found us yet. 1.2056 0.04739 107 89 14 4
1517 I KNOW I got us here, but for the life of me I can’t figure out where the Starbucks is… 1.2054 0.04419 112 92 17 3
1518 Would you please just ask someone to take us to their leader? 1.2054 0.04039 112 90 21 1
1519 Very funny, Zork. Now beam down our clothes. 1.2054 0.04769 112 94 13 5
1520 Retail still exists on this planet? 1.2054 0.04419 112 92 17 3
1521 I wish we had one of these on Alpha Centauri. 1.2051 0.04298 117 96 18 3
1522 Mystery solved. It appears that we have landed on planet 'Forever 21'. 1.2051 0.04298 117 96 18 3
1523 How do think I'd look in yoga pants? 1.2051 0.04298 117 96 18 3
1524 I think we're done with your navigation skills. 1.2049 0.04346 122 101 17 4
1525 Stare at it all you want it will never tell you where you parked the POD 1.2049 0.04499 122 102 15 5
1526 Jeez, Gombek, I said Star Trek, not Starbucks! 1.2047 0.04083 127 104 20 3
1527 Don't you feel we're a bit overdressed for this place? 1.2047 0.04378 127 106 16 5
1528 I heard Hot Topic has a mug with your face on it". 1.2047 0.04233 127 105 18 4
1529 What's "lingerie?" 1.2047 0.04233 127 105 18 4
1530 What a waste, we could have just bought all this same crap online. 1.2047 0.04655 127 108 12 7
1531 This looks nothing like our galaxy. 1.2047 0.04083 127 104 20 3
1532 That Abercrombie model looks like Cousin Kuyuk. 1.2045 0.03986 132 108 21 3
1533 What other proof do you need? It’s flat. 1.2045 0.04129 132 109 19 4
1534 Take me to their loss leader. 1.2045 0.04267 132 110 17 5
1535 No they won’t beam you up…you’ve got to follow the map!!! 1.2044 0.04162 137 114 18 5
1536 No, we can’t go back for your Dippin’ Dots loyalty card. 1.2044 0.04031 137 113 20 4
1537 All I said was "Take me to your leader". Why did she laugh so hard? 1.2042 0.04303 142 120 15 7
1538 No wonder we call them the lost planet. 1.2042 0.03940 142 117 21 4
1539 We traveled 18 light years and this is where we end up? 1.2042 0.04065 142 118 19 5
1540 Do you see Spencer’s? 1.2042 0.03811 142 116 23 3
1541 Looks like there are restrooms for everyone except us aliens 1.2041 0.03854 147 121 22 4
1542 According to the movies we need a Speak & Spell, a circular saw blade, a foil lined umbrella, a wooden coat hanger, a record player, a paper clip and some chewing gum 1.2041 0.04201 147 124 16 7
1543 I can't see Uranus 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
1544 Now, where are these Earth girls I've heard so much about? 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
1545 I told you not to turn left at mars 1.2037 0.04880 108 91 12 5
1546 The Earthlings' advanced technology has pinpointed our precise location! 1.2035 0.04383 113 93 17 3
1547 Look at all this empty space 1.2035 0.04730 113 95 13 5
1548 If we buy clothes, they'll never notice us! 1.2035 0.04560 113 94 15 4
1549 I don't think our GPS worked. 1.2035 0.04730 113 95 13 5
1550 I guess knowledge isn’t power after all. 1.2035 0.04199 113 92 19 2
1551 Are you sure? I can’t hold any longer! 1.2034 0.04092 118 96 20 2
1552 I don’t know who Victoria is, Xrghlax, but I think she knows our secret. 1.2034 0.04265 118 97 18 3
1553 This is the 87th Lids we’ve been to and they STILL don’t have my size in a Yankees cap. 1.2034 0.04265 118 97 18 3
1554 Look Golar! They know we are here?! 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1555 It looks interesting, but I don't see anything about clothing optional. 1.2033 0.04612 123 104 13 6
1556 But where’s the birthday suit accessories section? 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1557 How would they know ? 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1558 The last time I ate at a human food court it caused me to have a molecular breakdown. 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1559 We made it this far and can’t find a Cinnabun? 1.2033 0.04754 123 105 11 7
1560 We haven’t been to Planet Fitness yet. 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
1561 I told you the Sharper Image went out of business 1.2033 0.04892 123 106 9 8
1562 We need a map of the GALAXY, not a map of the MALL! 1.2033 0.03992 123 100 21 2
1563 How do they know where we are?!? 1.2031 0.04203 128 106 18 4
1564 Looks like we've landed on planet Sbarro. 1.2031 0.04347 128 107 16 5
1565 Gee, and I thought your spaceship was hard to navigate, Frank. 1.2031 0.04054 128 105 20 3
1566 Oh, man— Probes n’ Stuff closed! 1.2031 0.04054 128 105 20 3
1567 Finally - the map to a black hole!” 1.2031 0.04486 128 108 14 6
1568 Ice cream and handbags? Works for me. 1.2030 0.04100 133 110 19 4
1569 When we started our trip, there definitely was a Sam Goody's here. 1.2030 0.04237 133 111 17 5
1570 .... so, where am I? 1.2030 0.03959 133 109 21 3
1571 They call that fashion! What on earth are they thinking! 1.2030 0.03959 133 109 21 3
1572 I still don't understand where "here" is, though. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
1573 My mom doesn’t know I snuck off world so let’s make this quick 1.2026 0.03974 153 128 19 6
1574 I said ‘plug in your phone’, but you said ‘noOOooo’, you knew exactly where we were going. Now here we are. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
1575 I thought there was a Cinnabon! 1.2018 0.04474 109 90 16 3
1576 I don't this this map will get us home. 1.2018 0.04474 109 90 16 3
1577 Really, is this your idea of an out-of-this-world date night? 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
1578 I thought you said this was Alpha Centauri 1.2018 0.04474 109 90 16 3
1579 You’ve already proven you can’t read maps. 1.2018 0.05011 109 93 10 6
1580 Do you think we can pay with star bucks? 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
1581 Well that explains it. 1.2018 0.03775 114 91 23 0
1582 I told you this location no longer has a RadioShack. 1.2018 0.04524 114 95 15 4
1583 What, NO Radio Shack? 1.2018 0.04349 114 94 17 3
1584 I think it is easier to find Pluto than Penny's 1.2017 0.04061 119 97 20 2
1585 Last year we spent all of 4 seconds putting in a crop circle, and in one year they've built a mall right over it. They have no respect for time. 1.2017 0.03882 119 96 22 1
1586 Shoot! They alreadky know we're here. 1.2017 0.04398 119 99 16 4
1587 I was given explicit instructions to abduct two human specimens from Earth’s most toxic habitat. Now help me find something called Walmart. 1.2016 0.04578 124 105 13 6
1588 It's called, 'Carvel' and I heard they have 'flying saucers.' 1.2016 0.04173 129 107 18 4
1589 Is this what humans call an “Andy Warhol?” 1.2016 0.04316 129 108 16 5
1590 Where's the clothing department? 1.2016 0.04173 129 107 18 4
1591 Well, that's good to know, but where is "The Space Gap"? 1.2015 0.03636 134 108 25 1
1592 Aagh! They sent us back in time and to a suburb! 1.2015 0.04208 134 112 17 5
1593 Next time I ask you to locate a map I’ll be more specific. 1.2014 0.03845 139 114 22 3
1594 What's a barber? 1.2000 0.04969 110 94 10 6
1595 Oh dear. We are a long way from home. 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
1596 They must really be idiots. It doesn't even show their Star! 1.2000 0.04096 125 103 19 3
1597 It was so much easier when they had an information desk. 1.2000 0.03853 120 97 22 1
1598 Death rays. Look underAccessories. 1.2000 0.04134 115 94 19 2
1599 No wonder they're tearing these places down. 1.2000 0.04144 130 108 18 4
1600 If we hurry we can get something to eat at that place by the black hole 1.2000 0.04399 125 105 15 5
1601 Everybody's gotta be someplace. 1.2000 0.03945 115 93 21 1
1602 Looks like we’re close to Planet Pizza. 1.2000 0.04654 115 97 13 5
1603 Darn... that Christmas store we liked is gone ! 1.2000 0.04364 120 100 16 4
1604 We need a close encounter with an information booth. 1.2000 0.03846 130 106 22 2
1605 Quick! Find the nearest clothing store. 1.2000 0.04310 135 114 15 6
1606 I know we need clothes, but I really need to pee after that long flight. 1.2000 0.04031 120 98 20 2
1607 After traveling this far, there’s no way we’re eating at Panda Express again. 1.2000 0.04144 130 108 18 4
1608 if you'd only have gone a light-year faster, we would have gotten here 40 years ago, when there was more than one person, and the food court was really cooking! 1.2000 0.04654 115 97 13 5
1609 Look for skinny jeans and hoodies. 1.2000 0.04201 120 99 18 3
1610 I just want to get a couple of those sharp red hats, so people won't think we are cicadas. 1.2000 0.03846 130 106 22 2
1611 I’m pretty sure it was parking lot D. 1.2000 0.04031 120 98 20 2
1612 This species is even more primitive than we thought! 1.2000 0.04179 135 113 17 5
1613 Where are the pants? 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
1614 There's no coordinates to the food court." 1.2000 0.04250 125 104 17 4
1615 I hope the deals were worth the travel. 1.2000 0.03687 130 105 24 1
1616 Are you sure this is how we find an asteroid belt? 1.2000 0.04522 120 101 14 5
1617 Wait… They have language, logic, and opposable thumbs. THIS is what they come up with?! 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
1618 I told you the food court wouldn't have Reticulan! You have to go Manhattan for good Reticulan. 1.2000 0.05136 105 90 9 6
1619 Why are we here again? The pretzels. You know I love their pretzels. 1.1986 0.03796 141 116 22 3
1620 We are too skinny to blend in. Where is the food court? 1.1985 0.04151 136 114 17 5
1621 It's just a 2-dimensional representation of our 5-dimensional reality. 1.1985 0.03970 131 108 20 3
1622 What makes you think they even read books on this planet, let alone sell them? 1.1985 0.04255 131 110 16 5
1623 Just follow the shoppers. The reviews raved about the take-out. 1.1985 0.04115 131 109 18 4
1624 They have McDonalds just like home". 1.1985 0.04115 131 109 18 4
1625 So, where’s Alien playing, again? 1.1985 0.04115 131 109 18 4
1626 he couldn't find his way either 1.1984 0.03741 126 102 23 1
1627 You mean we’ve been replicating mall maps this entire time? 1.1984 0.04367 126 106 15 5
1628 Told you we were on the wrong planet. 1.1984 0.04367 126 106 15 5
1629 Apparently they refer to their star as "Starbucks", and we have landed on "Nordstrom" 1.1984 0.04066 126 104 19 3
1630 Traveled half way across this galaxy only to find out that Lids doesn't carry our size cap. 1.1984 0.04219 126 105 17 4
1631 I told you they wear clothes here. Everyone's staring at us. 1.1984 0.03907 126 103 21 2
1632 Seems we’re not in Kansas anymore 1.1984 0.04066 126 104 19 3
1633 I don’t care if it’s last season. The trip in is too long to do another return. 1.1984 0.04066 126 104 19 3
1634 Where's the nearest clothing store? 1.1983 0.04001 121 99 20 2
1635 That's ok Orgon I can hold it until we get home. You know I hate to use public bathrooms. 1.1983 0.04638 121 103 12 6
1636 Where’s target? 1.1983 0.04331 121 101 16 4
1637 So much for the surprise visit we had planned. 1.1983 0.04931 116 100 9 7
1638 GameStop?! No, find the restroom - I've been holding it since about Jupiter. 1.1983 0.04452 116 97 15 4
1639 We travelled through two galaxies to get here, and you're telling me that now you need to see a map? 1.1982 0.04758 111 94 12 5
1640 The weather has improved, but apparently they are still hunters and gatherers 1.1982 0.04400 111 92 16 3
1641 Did you bring your phone? 1.1982 0.04210 111 91 18 2
1642 We had an easier time getting to Earth. 1.1981 0.04911 106 90 11 5
1643 We are looking for Rep. Marjorie Taylor-Greene. 1.1981 0.05090 106 91 9 6
1644 with technology, you would think these things would be helpful 1.1981 0.04724 106 89 13 4
1645 Tell me we didn't come all this way just to try a massage chair. 1.1981 0.04327 106 87 17 2
1646 The jig is up. They know we’re here! 1.1980 0.05078 101 86 10 5
1647 Watch your footing. The last mission fell into The Gap. 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
1648 We came all this way and that's the greeting we get. 1.1971 0.03854 137 113 21 3
1649 No star bucks? How will we pay? 1.1971 0.03854 137 113 21 3
1650 I told you to phone home first. 1.1970 0.03637 132 107 24 1
1651 You know we could have just done this online. 1.1969 0.03714 127 103 23 1
1652 We're not in Houston anymore... 1.1969 0.04037 127 105 19 3
1653 Which first? Shoes, pants, or tanning salon? 1.1969 0.04037 127 105 19 3
1654 We don't need to find clothes to get home, we need to find Waldo 1.1969 0.04336 127 107 15 5
1655 Well, no intelligent life here--but I'm gonna pick up some toner at Sephora before we go. 1.1969 0.03714 127 103 23 1
1656 Please tell me you remember where we parked. 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1657 I thought you said nobody would be here. 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1658 25 million miles from Venus without incident and now we’re lost in a mall! 1.1967 0.03971 122 100 20 2
1659 Did you punch in the coordinates backwards? Again? 1.1967 0.04138 122 101 18 3
1660 They have a store called “Dicks”? I’m out. 1.1967 0.04603 122 104 12 6
1661 I don't see "Pants" anywhere. 1.1966 0.04581 117 99 13 5
1662 We're good. They don't accept cash. 1.1966 0.04417 117 98 15 4
1663 They said the Aliens R Us store was not far from the mezzanine. How much further must we travel to find it? 1.1966 0.04581 117 99 13 5
1664 Of course I’m here. Where else would I be? 1.1966 0.04739 117 100 11 6
1665 Location coordinates? Is this done with irony? 1.1966 0.03884 117 95 21 1
1666 We should probe this Orange Julius I keep hearing about. 1.1966 0.04417 117 98 15 4
1667 I don't see Area 51 on that map. 1.1964 0.03979 112 91 20 1
1668 They are watching us 1.1964 0.04364 112 93 16 3
1669 We escaped our dying planet just to end up in a dying shopping center. 1.1964 0.04718 112 95 12 5
1670 Well that figures. The food court is all the way on the other side. 1.1964 0.04176 112 92 18 2
1671 We should have ordered on ET BAY ! 1.1964 0.04886 112 96 10 6
1672 Why don't we just order by mail, like humans? 1.1964 0.04545 112 94 14 4
1673 Do they think we are idiots? We know we are here. 1.1964 0.04545 112 94 14 4
1674 I told you it wasn't a naturist resort. 1.1964 0.03979 112 91 20 1
1675 We can blast this place to smithereens, or shop on-line and kill it faster. 1.1964 0.04886 112 96 10 6
1676 We came ALL the way here and you seriously forgot your credit card? 1.1964 0.04718 112 95 12 5
1677 Oh no, The Milky Way Store is going out of business, where would we get our candy now!! 1.1964 0.04545 112 94 14 4
1678 Hollister first for clothes then we’ll hit DSW for shoes 1.1964 0.03979 112 91 20 1
1679 Last time we use Google maps! 1.1963 0.04491 107 89 15 3
1680 But what exactly is "Here"? 1.1963 0.04290 107 88 17 2
1681 You Are Here” suggests navigational failure 1.1963 0.04080 107 87 19 1
1682 Would Foot Locker have genitals, too? 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
1683 My name is Zebulon. Yours is Zebulor. Who’s Here? 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
1684 Now what? 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
1685 I have never felt more lost. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
1686 Now don't tell me you forgot your wallet, too. 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
1687 Next time, I’m driving. I said “Let’s go see Darth Maul.” 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
1688 Jeez, I feel like an Englishman In New York. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
1689 Granted, that's a trip but I've been told the food court is otherworldly. 1.1957 0.04223 138 117 15 6
1690 I hope you're happy, coming 100 light years for an Orange Julius and the food court no longer has one. 1.1953 0.04304 128 108 15 5
1691 Of all the assignments in our Universe we got a Mall? 1.1953 0.04304 128 108 15 5
1692 Uh oh, they know where we are. 1.1951 0.04107 123 102 18 3
1693 I don't see Area 51 anywhere! 1.1951 0.04107 123 102 18 3
1694 Panda Express? Does the panda make the food or do they serve panda meat?” 1.1951 0.04420 123 104 14 5
1695 What do you mean Planet Hollywood has disappeared? 1.1951 0.04420 123 104 14 5
1696 We are not lost. These beings are. 1.1949 0.04383 118 99 15 4
1697 We came all this way and Radio Shack is closed?! 1.1949 0.04383 118 99 15 4
1698 Is that what they think? 1.1949 0.04853 118 102 9 7
1699 You’re flawless at an intergalactic star map but finding H&M stumps you? 1.1949 0.04039 118 97 19 2
1700 Our galaxy isn’t even on this thing… 1.1949 0.04383 118 99 15 4
1701 Let’s find the food court first. 1.1949 0.04214 118 98 17 3
1702 I can't believe they closed Cinnabon! 1.1947 0.04508 113 95 14 4
1703 Did you bring your Neiman Marcus credit card? I think we’re under dressed! 1.1947 0.04329 113 94 16 3
1704 Thanks for your submission. Check back to see the finalists. If your caption is among them we will be in touch. “What the…?” “What are we doing here in this cartoon?” 1.1947 0.04508 113 95 14 4
1705 Yes we should phone home, but where are the booths? 1.1944 0.04327 144 124 12 8
1706 Does it say which galaxy we are in? 1.1944 0.04254 108 89 17 2
1707 You got us here from Alpha Centauri and you need a map to find Starbucks ? 1.1944 0.04643 108 91 13 4
1708 Good thing we are here. I don’t have a thing to wear. 1.1942 0.04791 103 87 12 4
1709 Okay, you choose. Pizza Hut? Sunglass Hut? Or Jabba-the-Hut? 1.1940 0.04168 134 113 16 5
1710 I don't see any autopsy supplies. Let's just head for the crash site. 1.1940 0.04300 134 114 14 6
1711 I told you Chess King went out of business light years ago. 1.1938 0.03825 129 106 21 2
1712 We are not "You!" What is "Here? 1.1938 0.04129 129 108 17 4
1713 I could have sworn it was rounder and bluer. 1.1938 0.03980 129 107 19 3
1714 How did these earthlings know that we'd be at these exact coordinates? 1.1935 0.04387 124 105 14 5
1715 What do you mean Santa isn’t here!?! 1.1935 0.04387 124 105 14 5
1716 I don’t think this is Kansas. 1.1935 0.03913 124 102 20 2
1717 I told you we came in from the other side.” 1.1935 0.04387 124 105 14 5
1718 No matter where we go, there we are. 1.1935 0.04077 124 103 18 3
1719 I wonder if they have any Boba Tea places 1.1935 0.04077 124 103 18 3
1720 It’s a shame Prime doesn’t deliver to Uranus 1.1935 0.03913 124 102 20 2
1721 This is what happens when you don't ask for directions, Carl. 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
1722 How does it know we're here ? 1.1933 0.04815 119 103 9 7
1723 Apparently that desolated area was once known as 'Sears.' 1.1933 0.04182 119 99 17 3
1724 What did you type into the Autopilot System? “Most meaningless place” 1.1933 0.04665 119 102 11 6
1725 Shlogo wach dach g’wenoguah. 1.1933 0.04349 119 100 15 4
1726 Are you sure this is where ET said he bought his bicycle? 1.1930 0.04294 114 95 16 3
1727 Something is not right. The last message we got 20 Earth years ago guaranteed this location would be packed with people. 1.1930 0.04294 114 95 16 3
1728 And we thought the void of interstellar space was relatively empty. 1.1930 0.04109 114 94 18 2
1729 Relax. If it was about us, it would say THEY are here. 1.1927 0.04604 109 92 13 4
1730 Housewares? How about shoes and pants? 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
1731 I know you are here but where am I? 1.1927 0.04219 109 90 17 2
1732 And I thought the directions for getting to earth were confusing. 1.1927 0.04604 109 92 13 4
1733 Have we found Darth Mall ? 1.1927 0.04785 109 93 11 5
1734 It’s a good thing this is here. Our map of the universe doesn’t zoom in this much. 1.1927 0.04219 109 90 17 2
1735 These directories are always so hard to navigate 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
1736 Where is the Brzxyd, Bpklih, and Beyond? 1.1926 0.04271 135 115 14 6
1737 I made an appointment at the Genius Bar. If we don’t get my iPhone fixed I don’t know how we’ll get home. 1.1923 0.04243 130 110 15 5
1738 We need outfits that make the abductees feel comfortable. 1.1923 0.03952 130 108 19 3
1739 Do you think if we go to customer service, they'll take us to their leader? 1.1923 0.03798 130 107 21 2
1740 This was definitely not the entrance we used. 1.1923 0.04749 104 88 12 4
1741 No intelligent life here 1.1923 0.04749 104 88 12 4
1742 I think Apple is the Leader. 1.1923 0.03638 130 106 23 1
1743 Check the directory. Clothes and masks; that's all we need. 1.1923 0.03952 130 108 19 3
1744 Where to we catch an Uber? 1.1923 0.04117 104 85 18 1
1745 We managed to travel through lightyears of space and warp time to get here but we can't find a gender neutral restroom? 1.1920 0.03885 125 103 20 2
1746 Okay, Firsat, we need some fricken' pants. 1.1920 0.04204 125 105 16 4
1747 This can't be it nothing could survive in this environment! 1.1920 0.03885 125 103 20 2
1748 They actually need a map for THIS? 1.1920 0.03885 125 103 20 2
1749 I was told there would be a trail of Reese's Pieces. 1.1920 0.04047 125 104 18 3
1750 I told you we should have hung a right at Haley's Comet! 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
1751 Looks like we’re stuck for a while. No more Radio Shack. 1.1919 0.05112 99 85 9 5
1752 God, where did we leave that cow 1.1919 0.05310 99 86 7 6
1753 This place needs a store called Clothes Encounters! 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
1754 Glrkpx vfgzf mkrkyrwcqt Cinnabon! 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1755 Maybe try Walmart first. These prices are astronomical! 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1756 With all their resources sunk into this worthless crap I don't expect we'll be battling a well equipped army. 1.1917 0.04628 120 103 11 6
1757 Where do Earthlings sell fig leaves? 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
1758 I don't think the Uber dropped us at the right place... 1.1913 0.04435 115 97 14 4
1759 I don't see "Leader" anywhere on this map. 1.1913 0.04435 115 97 14 4
1760 Hot Topic closed?! 1.1913 0.04260 115 96 16 3
1761 Walking around with glassy-eyed indifference seems to be a universal trait. 1.1913 0.04077 115 95 18 2
1762 It looks like someone is tracking us 1.1913 0.03885 115 94 20 1
1763 No. I hate The Gap. Let's grab that Terrestrial. 1.1913 0.04260 115 96 16 3
1764 Are there three kinds of Clothes Encounters? All I see is "activewear". 1.1912 0.04111 136 115 16 5
1765 Do these people ever sleep? 1.1912 0.03837 136 113 20 3
1766 I wonder what happened to Sears. 1.1909 0.03980 110 90 19 1
1767 I'm telling you, we'll be inconspicuous in Spencer's! 1.1909 0.04917 110 95 9 6
1768 I fear we have entered a black hole. 1.1909 0.04184 110 91 17 2
1769 The purpose of the map is to keep us in, not help us get out. Oh look, they have a Spencers! 1.1908 0.03772 131 108 21 2
1770 You had to park on the other side of the lot, didn’t you?! 1.1908 0.04071 131 110 17 4
1771 I'm totally lost. 1.1905 0.04018 126 105 18 3
1772 Define “here” 1.1905 0.04300 105 87 16 2
1773 Finding their planet was easier than finding pants. 1.1905 0.04707 105 89 12 4
1774 We just need an all-gender restroom. 1.1905 0.04707 105 89 12 4
1775 Maybe they're more advanced than we thought. 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
1776 I don’t know. These malls are all alien to me. 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
1777 No wonder they haven’t found us yet 1.1905 0.04707 105 89 12 4
1778 Who knew malls really exist? 1.1901 0.04282 121 102 15 4
1779 I thought we were on Earth? 1.1901 0.03769 121 99 21 1
1780 We’ve been standing here for an hour. I think it’s time to admit their maps are beyond our understanding. 1.1901 0.04282 121 102 15 4
1781 Hey look Marge, a Kandinsky! It’s signed “you are here”, George. 1.1901 0.04593 121 104 11 6
1782 We'll blend in at the Spencer Gifts store." 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
1783 Naked and afraid 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
1784 They've found us! 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
1785 I guess there is no intelligent life on this planet after all. 1.1898 0.03811 137 114 20 3
1786 I just hope the exchange rate is favorable. 1.1897 0.04226 116 97 16 3
1787 They seem to have repurposed the monolith. 1.1895 0.05030 95 81 10 4
1788 I think humans refer to this place as a black hole 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
1789 Egads, Marv! Someone has abducted the Orange Julius! 1.1895 0.05030 95 81 10 4
1790 Where's the lost and found? 1.1894 0.03746 132 109 21 2
1791 I still can’t believe she made us travel this far for Cinnabon. 1.1894 0.03746 132 109 21 2
1792 Why don’t we scare up some lunch? 1.1892 0.04343 111 93 15 3
1793 'I will never learn to understand this modern art'. 1.1892 0.04705 111 95 11 5
1794 We came all that way, and you only realise NOW that we don't even wear clothes?! 1.1892 0.04527 111 94 13 4
1795 This whole chart looks Greek to me. 1.1890 0.03989 127 106 18 3
1796 Now remember what we came for. 1.1889 0.05216 90 77 9 4
1797 We can finally redeem our Star Bucks here! 1.1887 0.04263 106 88 16 2
1798 Yes, you hate shopping, but in case you haven't noticed, we don't have a thing to wear. 1.1887 0.04047 106 87 18 1
1799 Clothing. Is that too much to ask these days? 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
1800 I'm still confused . Who is here ? 1.1887 0.04854 106 91 10 5
1801 How do people even understand this stuff 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
1802 No, I didn’t bring the damned GPS, did you? 1.1887 0.04263 106 88 16 2
1803 Do they keep their probes under Housewares or Electronics? 1.1887 0.04665 106 90 12 4
1804 I feel like people are looking at us like we are aliens! 1.1887 0.04047 106 87 18 1
1805 We seek the one called Cinnabon, that we may return with regret. 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
1806 This isn't where comic con is. 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
1807 I don't see 'Leader' on it. Now what do we do? 1.1885 0.03741 122 100 21 1
1808 Take me to your last remaining store. 1.1885 0.04704 122 106 9 7
1809 I told you that the grass is not greener on the other side.” 1.1885 0.04407 122 104 13 5
1810 Take me to your greeter. 1.1885 0.03918 122 101 19 2
1811 Here we are again 1.1885 0.04088 122 102 17 3
1812 Which galaxy is the food court? 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
1813 I vote we haunt the clothing department first 1.1881 0.05017 101 87 9 5
1814 Roswell’s changed. 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
1815 I had hoped to surprise them with a grand announcement, but no, you wanted to shop first, and now we’re old news! 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
1816 Hoodies and sweats first, then food. 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
1817 It was called Orange Julius and it was right here I swear. 1.1881 0.04154 101 83 17 1
1818 Back away slowly...that lady just turned into the carpet. 1.1880 0.04365 117 99 14 4
1819 We traveled 300 million light years and the bathroom's busted here too 1.1880 0.04014 117 97 18 2
1820 Evidently, "You can't get there from here," isn't always a joke. 1.1880 0.04015 133 112 17 4
1821 Wayfarers of the cosmos and we can’t find the mall restroom. 1.1875 0.03961 128 107 18 3
1822 I thought the Halloween contest was today. 1.1875 0.03961 128 107 18 3
1823 Surely there's a "Tall and Thin" clothing store in here! 1.1875 0.04307 112 94 15 3
1824 We'll have to carry our purchases with us; the shipping costs to our address are outrageous. 1.1875 0.04666 112 96 11 5
1825 Really? 1.1875 0.04666 112 96 11 5
1826 Where do you think they sell the Caitlin Clark jerseys? 1.1875 0.04260 128 109 14 5
1827 I mean, how stupid do they think we are? 1.1875 0.04116 112 93 17 2
1828 I only need shoes. You see shoes anywhere? 1.1875 0.04307 112 94 15 3
1829 just quick, find the clothing store 1.1875 0.03961 128 107 18 3
1830 Maybe Burger King is the leader... 1.1875 0.03916 112 92 19 1
1831 Not even a Victoria's Secret? 1.1875 0.04402 128 110 12 6
1832 They kidnap us. They take our clothes. This is their idea of an intelligence test? 1.1875 0.04666 112 96 11 5
1833 All these clothing stores. What's wrong with these people? 1.1875 0.03961 128 107 18 3
1834 I really thought they'd be more advanced by now. 1.1871 0.03761 139 116 20 3
1835 Oh my god. These Zaras are popping up everywhere. 1.1870 0.04057 123 103 17 3
1836 Fascinating. This looks like our control system only they don’t know how to use theirs. 1.1869 0.04430 107 90 14 3
1837 We'll never get back to the beyond if there's not even bed and bath. 1.1869 0.03786 107 87 20 0
1838 Amazing! Beings who must be reassured that they are where they are. We are always where we are. 1.1869 0.04430 107 90 14 3
1839 I TOLD you this planet was cold! 1.1869 0.04227 107 89 16 2
1840 Act natural. We need to be inconspicuous. 1.1864 0.04331 118 100 14 4
1841 Just ask. 1.1864 0.04654 118 102 10 6
1842 Yikes, we're under-dressed. Where's The Gap? 1.1864 0.04331 118 100 14 4
1843 The layout is oddly similar to your first space ship. 1.1864 0.03983 118 98 18 2
1844 Ngaphsss? Graaag, smeetraw. Phtow! Ah, Apple Store. 1.1864 0.04161 118 99 16 3
1845 We've checked both The White House AND the mall, and still no signs of intelligent life. 1.1864 0.04654 118 102 10 6
1846 Why isn't Radio Shack on there? 1.1863 0.04117 102 84 17 1
1847 J.C. Penny is where we get the human costumes. 1.1863 0.04772 102 87 11 4
1848 Roswell really developed its commercial real estate corridor 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
1849 I always had a recurring dream that i would wake up naked in the mall. But never as an alien. 1.1858 0.04957 113 99 7 7
1850 You fool, this isn't the Andromeda system. 1.1858 0.04627 113 97 11 5
1851 They have a Sbarro here too. 1.1858 0.04083 113 94 17 2
1852 Where’s the store that sells saucers? 1.1858 0.04272 113 95 15 3
1853 You think it’s the same as ET-Mobile? 1.1858 0.04272 113 95 15 3
1854 Did we really have to travel this far for an Orange Julius? 1.1858 0.04627 113 97 11 5
1855 It looks like we're not where we thought we were" 1.1858 0.04453 113 96 13 4
1856 It always looks better on the rack. 1.1858 0.03885 113 93 19 1
1857 Do you see Area 51 anywhere on that directory 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
1858 “What, no Panera? But we flew 2 million light years to have a bread spaceship soup!” 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
1859 I find it all quite frightening Zev, a human maze created no doubt,as a way to humiliate us and promote the feeling of being "other " Let's just make our purchases online. 1.1856 0.04230 97 80 16 1
1860 Let's go to the food court and get some cockroaches 1.1855 0.04633 124 108 9 7
1861 Interstellar travel was nothing compared to this. 1.1855 0.04340 124 106 13 5
1862 No, I think finding sunglasses is the least of our problems! 1.1855 0.04027 124 104 17 3
1863 Are we You? 1.1855 0.04340 124 106 13 5
1864 Which place advertised their food as "Out of this World"? 1.1852 0.04191 108 90 16 2
1865 We traveled 3 billion miles for a pretzel? 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
1866 The cinnamon smell is getting stronger, we’re almost there! 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
1867 Darned if I know what apparel is. 1.1852 0.04191 108 90 16 2
1868 In order to get back home, we need to find the Forever Twenty-one store. 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
1869 What is an orange julius and why is next to the reactor core? 1.1852 0.04948 108 94 8 6
1870 It didn’t look flat when we landed.. 1.1852 0.03979 108 89 18 1
1871 Why are we shopping? We don't wear clothes. 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1872 Why do you suppose the tour director sent us here first? 1.1849 0.03574 119 97 22 0
1873 This map shows that store in section 51 1.1849 0.03952 119 99 18 2
1874 This is what happens when you won’t ask for directions! 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1875 Yes, that looks like uncle George before they put him together again 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
1876 I know I'm here but where is here? 1.1846 0.03905 130 109 18 3
1877 Soooo, Mars has shopping malls? 1.1845 0.03840 103 84 19 0
1878 We're going to meet their leader. I'd say more business than casual. 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
1879 Last time they had a Sbarro. 1.1845 0.04729 103 88 11 4
1880 Which one do you think is the closes store? Im feeling real naked! 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
1881 Apparently they suffer from existential angst. 1.1845 0.04729 103 88 11 4
1882 All I want is Auntie Anne's and then we're outta here 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
1883 We should probably buy some pants. 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
1884 Yes. But will it get us home?" 1.1842 0.04589 114 98 11 5
1885 I don't get Earthling logic. If we already had clothes, why would be coming to a clothing store?!!? 1.1842 0.04238 114 96 15 3
1886 I don't see our planet on this map. 1.1842 0.04238 114 96 15 3
1887 What did she mean by “which store has the promotional going on?” 1.1842 0.04050 114 95 17 2
1888 I see Just Shirts, but I don’t see Just Underwear or Just Pants. 1.1842 0.04417 114 97 13 4
1889 I suddenly have an urge to wear khaki pants. 1.1842 0.04238 114 96 15 3
1890 We should return these costumes back to Party City. 1.1842 0.04417 114 97 13 4
1891 Planet Starbucks? 1.1840 0.04308 125 107 13 5
1892 They still have a Sears here? 1.1840 0.04308 125 107 13 5
1893 All this way and no Starbucks! 1.1838 0.03646 136 113 21 2
1894 We come all this way and no Orange Julius. 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
1895 I wonder if I can find a copy of ‘To Serve Man’ 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
1896 See if they have a listing for unisex clothing. 1.1835 0.03459 158 132 23 3
1897 So what shall it be, Land's End, or David's Cookies? 1.1835 0.03946 109 90 18 1
1898 Where's Santa? 1.1835 0.04546 109 93 12 4
1899 Ah, the universal language. 1.1835 0.04546 109 93 12 4
1900 No, not Hot Topic. Too spooky" 1.1835 0.04355 109 92 14 3
1901 Let's just go with TJ Max -- we're not going to be here that long. 1.1835 0.04355 109 92 14 3
1902 Okay, but where, exactly is here? [the is should be italicized] 1.1833 0.03922 120 100 18 2
1903 I think we parked in another dimension. 1.1832 0.04169 131 112 14 5
1904 Is it possible to zoom out a little bit? 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
1905 I think this is the map which should take us to all their lost leaders. 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
1906 I say we head to the Apple store. Those prehistoric computers should be a hoot. 1.1827 0.04270 104 87 15 2
1907 I always feel out of place looking at these maps. 1.1826 0.04204 115 97 15 3
1908 What's a "clothing store?" 1.1826 0.04018 115 96 17 2
1909 Is there a shuttle? I parked about three light years away. 1.1826 0.04204 115 97 15 3
1910 Their leader must be this Director Y. 1.1825 0.03968 126 106 17 3
1911 I'm dying for some Tex-Mex, but they might think we are illegal aliens! 1.1825 0.04276 126 108 13 5
1912 Can you see where the rest rooms are located? 1.1818 0.04319 110 93 14 3
1913 I’m pretty sure we landed by the Planet Hollywood entrance. 1.1818 0.03892 121 101 18 2
1914 we’d better hit the dress shops first! 1.1818 0.04121 110 92 16 2
1915 If there are no signs of intelligent life like you said, how do you explain the Cinnabon? 1.1818 0.04121 110 92 16 2
1916 Have we gotten close to the Cinnabon? 1.1818 0.04393 99 83 14 2
1917 See, Zarzad, I told you they knew we were here! 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
1918 I thought we were on the planet earth. 1.1818 0.03711 121 100 20 1
1919 No wonder Earthlings could not find life on Mars. 1.1818 0.04140 132 113 14 5
1920 Wait, haven't we've been here before? 1.1818 0.04319 110 93 14 3
1921 The waning wasn’t bad, but the waxing hurt like hell. 1.1818 0.04508 110 94 12 4
1922 I knew you should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque. 1.1818 0.04508 110 94 12 4
1923 We’re further away from home…goods then we thought. 1.1818 0.03924 143 122 16 5
1924 I’m telling you she shopped from Earth for her wedding gown to save for their honeymoon! 1.1818 0.05048 99 86 8 5
1925 No, I don't have cash or a credit card with me. I don't even have pockets. 1.1811 0.03778 127 106 19 2
1926 This looks like one of those rat puzzles humans like. 1.1810 0.04170 116 98 15 3
1927 It used to be easier when we could just phone home. 1.1810 0.04678 116 101 9 6
1928 Our mission is to acquire parts for the repair of Orson, and to replenish the supply of Tang. 1.1810 0.03591 116 95 21 0
1929 Why is this mother ship so deserted? 1.1810 0.04346 116 99 13 4
1930 When I asked what was Victoria's Secret they said I should go to Lens Crafters. 1.1810 0.03986 116 97 17 2
1931 How do they know??? 1.1810 0.04232 105 88 15 2
1932 Next time we plummet to Earth, we should pack a few things. 1.1810 0.04010 105 87 17 1
1933 It doesn't say where the leader is. 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
1934 Sigh... I've concluded these natives lack the slightest concept about the size of the universe. 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
1935 Is there someplace that sells underwear? 1.1810 0.04645 105 90 11 4
1936 Last time we were here it was a lot more crowded 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
1937 Let's start by destroying their map. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
1938 Do you think there is any space to rent? 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
1939 I thought Halloween was a good time for them to NOT know we were here 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
1940 I'm having that dream again. 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
1941 First we need to buy some clothes 1.1803 0.03863 122 102 18 2
1942 Yeah, that's nice...But what PLANET are we on? 1.1802 0.04470 111 95 12 4
1943 Is that you or me? 1.1802 0.03882 111 92 18 1
1944 I see men’s wear and women’s wear, but nothing for us. 1.1800 0.03861 100 82 18 0
1945 Only 230 shopping days 'til Christmas!", where are we 1.1800 0.04579 100 85 12 3
1946 We must avoid American Eagle. Those birds could rip us to pieces. 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
1947 Look Ork-ork, they know we're here. 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
1948 Maps like this make it hard to leave in peace. 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
1949 But cheesecake from a factory? 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
1950 It’s a TREK to get to the Cinnabon. 1.1800 0.04579 100 85 12 3
1951 Is that a crop circle next to the Gap? 1.1797 0.03583 128 106 21 1
1952 Yes, I know it says 'You are here' but what does 'here' mean 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1953 We traveled across the galaxy just to buy a bracelet from Claire's? 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1954 I swear, from a distance I thought it said ‘Free Beer’ in our own language 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1955 What’s with all these Ramen places? 1.1795 0.04479 117 101 11 5
1956 It is a primitive planet, they still shop at malls! 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1957 The food court is a great place to start. 1.1793 0.03618 145 122 20 3
1958 Take me to your Lord and Taylor 1.1792 0.04604 106 91 11 4
1959 Exactly where was our landing pad? 1.1792 0.03743 106 87 19 0
1960 Otot, I've a feeling we're not in Andromeda anymore. 1.1792 0.04405 106 90 13 3
1961 We are here, but where are you? 1.1792 0.04405 106 90 13 3
1962 I think it says I'd turn back if I were you. 1.1792 0.04405 106 90 13 3
1963 This is like a dream I had where I was talking to a crowd and realized I forgot to wear clothes. 1.1792 0.04405 106 90 13 3
1964 It looks like a supply side economy, able to create an artificial demand. 1.1792 0.04196 106 89 15 2
1965 I don’t see a listing for ‘Leader’. 1.1792 0.04196 106 89 15 2
1966 Why is that earthling shadowing us? 1.1792 0.04604 106 91 11 4
1967 Can this take us to their theater? 1.1791 0.03490 134 111 22 1
1968 Oh, well that clears everything up... 1.1789 0.04728 95 81 11 3
1969 Looks like a micro-galaxy. 1.1789 0.03954 95 78 17 0
1970 What did they mean no shirt, no shoes, no service? 1.1789 0.04227 95 79 15 1
1971 Let's start with the lingerie shop. 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
1972 I TOLD you it would take a long time to travel 112 light-years. We should have left earlier if you wanted to get here before Blockbuster Video went out of business. 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
1973 Let's find a clothing store. 1.1789 0.03657 123 102 20 1
1974 Too much pepperoni, not enough apparel. 1.1786 0.03850 112 93 18 1
1975 If they know where we are, why can't anyone get a clear photograph of us? 1.1786 0.04054 112 94 16 2
1976 I went to Lids last time and one size does not fit all. 1.1786 0.04054 112 94 16 2
1977 Let's start with underwear... 1.1786 0.04054 112 94 16 2
1978 So where's the nude beach, oh genius of coordinates? 1.1786 0.04611 112 97 10 5
1979 I can't believe you made us fly 500 light-years to get here when I could've just bought this stuff online 1.1786 0.04247 112 95 14 3
1980 Yes, yes we found it! The All-Knowing Sign. This is their church. They worship a god called “Capitalism.” 1.1786 0.04433 112 96 12 4
1981 Yeah... but, like, why? 1.1783 0.04326 129 112 11 6
1982 What a waste of space. 1.1783 0.04184 129 111 13 5
1983 Looks like we missed our target by about a million miles, but we might as well look for a pair of jeans while we're here. 1.1782 0.04077 101 84 16 1
1984 Gort, Klaatu barada nicto. 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
1985 No directory entry for Andromeda 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
1986 This society may be more advanced than we thought. They have Dippin' Dots, too! 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
1987 I'm sorry. It's just not the same without Sears. 1.1782 0.04750 101 87 10 4
1988 Look for the cafe with the cats” 1.1782 0.04750 101 87 10 4
1989 Even after traveling 24,690,000,000,000 miles, the visitors still could not figure out where "HERE" was. 1.1780 0.04105 118 100 15 3
1990 They still think in terms of 'you'? 1.1780 0.04105 118 100 15 3
1991 It doesn’t make a difference which one has the best plan – we just need to phone home. 1.1780 0.03924 118 99 17 2
1992 Step one: acquire pants. 1.1780 0.04444 118 102 11 5
1993 I think 'Bed, Bath and Beyond' is in the Westchester Mall." 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
1994 Look for something called 'Leader.' 1.1778 0.04053 90 74 16 0
1995 We finally found something on this crazy planet they all agree is true. 1.1776 0.04160 107 90 15 2
1996 She looks like a leader; let's follow her. 1.1776 0.04160 107 90 15 2
1997 So many stores selling clothing - What is with their obsession with covering themselves ? 1.1776 0.04753 107 93 9 5
1998 I’m feeling very alienated here 1.1776 0.04160 107 90 15 2
1999 Beam us up, Scotty. 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
2000 I thought the train went to Mars 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
2001 I told you they would not have a Trans-Galactic rest room. 1.1776 0.03942 107 89 17 1
2002 I'm sorry, but I don't think this is really going to help us find where we parked the spaceship 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
2003 I thought the universe was so much larger. 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
2004 This is one of the many traps Earthlings have set for their species 1.1776 0.04160 107 90 15 2
2005 Does it say where their leader is? 1.1776 0.04564 107 92 11 4
2006 I see the circles, but the last time we visited, there were crops growing here. 1.1774 0.03806 124 104 18 2
2007 Yes, it's a mall planet. 1.1774 0.03975 124 105 16 3
2008 After traveling millions of miles, we were here all the time?? 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
2009 These earthlings are smart… they already know where we are! 1.1771 0.05129 96 84 7 5
2010 Are any places Clothing Optional? 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
2011 This place is so confusing 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
2012 I told you we had to pay for new gps update16.1.2.3.7.11 1.1771 0.03917 96 79 17 0
2013 I told you how gullible they are. 1.1770 0.04021 113 95 16 2
2014 Do you see inter-species washrooms ? 1.1770 0.04021 113 95 16 2
2015 I wonder if this map will take us to their leader? 1.1770 0.04396 113 97 12 4
2016 Great, they rebranded as Bed and Bath. 1.1765 0.04275 102 86 14 2
2017 Can you find Noah’s Ark? 1.1765 0.03793 102 84 18 0
2018 This is where our monoliths ended up! 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
2019 Are you sure this is the same mall entrance where we parked the spaceship? 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
2020 Does staring up at these ever make you feel small and insignificant? 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
2021 Are you SURE you want to do this? 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
2022 I don't think this will help us find our way home. 1.1765 0.04073 119 101 15 3
2023 Feels like we’re walking in crop circles 1.1765 0.04909 102 89 8 5
2024 I vote - pants store first” 1.1765 0.04275 102 86 14 2
2025 These specimens are too common. Let's go back to Walmart. 1.1760 0.03778 125 105 18 2
2026 No pants no service? Where’s the nearest Gap… 1.1760 0.03778 125 105 18 2
2027 We need a clothing store and fast 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
2028 I can’t find Area 51 1.1759 0.03909 108 90 17 1
2029 I swear there used to be Circuit City here! 1.1759 0.03909 108 90 17 1
2030 No Orange Julius? 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
2031 But what does that mean? 1.1759 0.04124 108 91 15 2
2032 You are here" doesn't really tell me where the hell we are 1.1759 0.04712 108 94 9 5
2033 Does this satisfy your FOMO? 1.1759 0.04525 108 93 11 4
2034 Just find the restroom quickly so we can get out of here 1.1759 0.04124 108 91 15 2
2035 I'm pretty upset with this planet, Xorg. Sunglass Hut said we needed ears and Victoria's Secret wouldn't even let us in the door. 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
2036 I just want to phone home. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
2037 Obviously, Starbucks is the Beam Me Up site. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
2038 It's going to take light years to find the car park 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
2039 I thought so. 1.1754 0.03578 114 94 20 0
2040 We came all this way with our 30% off coupon, and they don't even have a Kohl's! 1.1754 0.04178 114 97 14 3
2041 That sign is wrong! We landed in a corn field outside Lincoln. 1.1754 0.04360 114 98 12 4
2042 A map in two dimensions?? We’ll never find our way out!! 1.1754 0.04178 114 97 14 3
2043 I was told these had become black holes... 1.1753 0.04637 97 83 11 3
2044 Where’s the really big picture? 1.1753 0.04863 97 84 9 4
2045 I heard Brooks Brothers has the best Halloween outfits 1.1753 0.04637 97 83 11 3
2046 See, I TOLD you they can see us! 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
2047 Maybe we’re in an experimental maze or an escape room thing. 1.1753 0.04148 97 81 15 1
2048 So where's Radio Shack? 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
2049 I thought they said birthday suit, not Earth Day salute. 1.1752 0.04131 137 119 12 6
2050 Why would they prosecute their sustenance? 1.1750 0.04042 120 102 15 3
2051 See if you can find Rosswell. 1.1750 0.03679 120 100 19 1
2052 How was I supposed to know the Orange Julius closed? It wasn't when we left 13 light years ago! 1.1750 0.04211 120 103 13 4
2053 I told you we should've asked someone to take us to their leader. 1.1750 0.04042 120 102 15 3
2054 Well yes ... but there is no here here. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
2055 Mmmmmmmm it looks delicious! 1.1748 0.04005 103 86 16 1
2056 I didn’t think to bring our walking shoes. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
2057 Forever 21? I swear this is where Area 51 was. 1.1748 0.04005 103 86 16 1
2058 And you said this planet would be different” 1.1748 0.04236 103 87 14 2
2059 No wonder humans can’t find our planet. 1.1743 0.04090 109 92 15 2
2060 Maybe they will hire us at the Halloween store. 1.1743 0.04292 109 93 13 3
2061 How is it we navigated the Mutara Nebula but we’ve walked through this mall three time and still can’t find the Orange Julius? 1.1743 0.04292 109 93 13 3
2062 They have Starbucks here?! 1.1743 0.04671 109 95 9 5
2063 I knew we should’ve taken a left in Albuquerque. 1.1743 0.04486 109 94 11 4
2064 Where's the intelligent life? 1.1743 0.04671 109 95 9 5
2065 I told you to stop and ask directions 1.1743 0.04292 109 93 13 3
2066 But we know that already, so what ? 1.1743 0.04292 109 93 13 3
2067 I miss the 1980s, too, but you won't find it here. 1.1743 0.04090 109 92 15 2
2068 I told you we shoulda went to Walmart the people watching is much more interesting 1.1743 0.04486 109 94 11 4
2069 Are we in an ant farm? 1.1742 0.03484 132 110 21 1
2070 I told you we should have made a left at Albuquerque. 1.1739 0.04498 115 100 10 5
2071 It looks like the bathroom is between Old Navy and Area 51? 1.1739 0.04498 115 100 10 5
2072 It’s called conceptual art. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
2073 I just hope there’s a Talbots. 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
2074 Cinnabon, is worth the trip. Your first step into a larger world. 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
2075 I wonder whether they serve mankind at the Food Court. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
2076 Our fan merch is at “Hot Topic”. 1.1736 0.04179 121 104 13 4
2077 Where the he'll is J. Crew? I'm freezing! 1.1736 0.03651 121 101 19 1
2078 No one's batted an eye. I thought these costumes were pretty convincing. 1.1736 0.03835 121 102 17 2
2079 I thought you said that there was life on this planet. 1.1736 0.03651 121 101 19 1
2080 Is this existentialism? 1.1736 0.04011 121 103 15 3
2081 What an incredibly myopic view of the universe! 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
2082 We just need to find jeans that make our butts look good 1.1735 0.04816 98 85 9 4
2083 I said ‘Area 51’ not ‘Forever 21’! 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
2084 Thought you said we were going to a gin joint in Casablanca 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
2085 Maybe The Body Shop? 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
2086 Where are all the humans? 1.1735 0.04816 98 85 9 4
2087 Ha! We are here, Pentagon. 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
2088 So just ask it for the proper space vectors so we can get back to the Alpha Centauri system. 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
2089 Nothing says “We come in peace” like fresh Cinnabons 1.1732 0.04343 127 111 10 6
2090 Maybe they can tell us how to pronounce “Sbarro”. 1.1732 0.03724 127 107 18 2
2091 Their galaxy seems to be much more complicated than ours. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
2092 I swear, this place has the best cinnamon rolls this side of Alpha Centauri. 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
2093 Hunh. They must be expecting us. 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
2094 My God, it’s full of stores! 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
2095 But where are the guiphorney rooms? 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
2096 How does it know where we are? Must be an AI map! 1.1731 0.04622 104 90 10 4
2097 Damn, I thought for sure this was Earth. 1.1731 0.04622 104 90 10 4
2098 Which way is up? 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
2099 I think we'll find their leader in the Food Court. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
2100 We need to look like them. Did you bring your credit card? 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
2101 I didn’t expect it to be this easy. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
2102 If we have to stop on one more planet for you to find space shoes that you like, it’s over! 1.1731 0.04820 104 91 8 5
2103 Here it says 'You are here.” How helpful, humans must get lost often in their own insignificance. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
2104 There’s no there there. 1.1731 0.04622 104 90 10 4
2105 I want to be leaving. 1.1729 0.03621 133 112 19 2
2106 I heard their chili-cheese fries are out of this world. 1.1727 0.04055 110 93 15 2
2107 Let’s check Spencer’s first. 1.1727 0.04256 110 94 13 3
2108 This must be their lost and found. 1.1727 0.03844 110 92 17 1
2109 Do you think we're overqualified for the mannequin job? 1.1727 0.04448 110 95 11 4
2110 The universe is much easier to navigate than this damn place 1.1727 0.04256 110 94 13 3
2111 Nows probably not the right time to bring this up, but I'm sleeping with your wife. 1.1727 0.04448 110 95 11 4
2112 dressing before dining seems to be the custom here. 1.1724 0.04112 116 99 14 3
2113 Uuuh, I thought we were THERE! 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
2114 We'll never get out of here alive. 1.1724 0.03925 116 98 16 2
2115 Odd, no wormholes shown, or maybe it's just a joke? 1.1724 0.04461 116 101 10 5
2116 I think we’ll win the Halloween contest this year, Fred. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
2117 Mall? You said it was Earth! 1.1724 0.04112 116 99 14 3
2118 Take us to your leading brand 1.1724 0.04290 116 100 12 4
2119 Wait didn’t you say there a Bed Bath and Beyond here? 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
2120 Do you think the 'Lost and Found' section has some extra cows? 1.1721 0.03980 122 104 15 3
2121 meep lorp. gorb fleebah. 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
2122 Looking for Bed Bath & Beyond 1.1720 0.03935 93 77 16 0
2123 I told you we needed to ask for directions. 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
2124 '"'Food Court,' 'Cell Phone Repair,' 'Antidepressants'... This planet is even stranger than we thought." 1.1719 0.03860 128 109 16 3
2125 Why would they tell her secret? 1.1717 0.04982 99 87 7 5
2126 It' so earthy. 1.1717 0.03810 99 82 17 0
2127 Does it matter? 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
2128 This two dimensional signage is impossible. 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
2129 Tell navigator JJreoko he's screwed because we're screwed. 1.1717 0.04771 99 86 9 4
2130 Wouldn’t it be faster with Amazon? 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
2131 In the pre-mission prep, they seem have missed the planets Yankee Candle, Foot Locker and JCPenney. 1.1717 0.04982 99 87 7 5
2132 The GPS was supposed to drop us by the Washington Monument! 1.1717 0.04317 99 84 13 2
2133 "Way too complicated, Zaldar, let's try online shopping! 1.1716 0.03896 134 115 15 4
2134 The Cinnabon closed. Where are we going to get fuel for the ion drive? 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
2135 You can’t get a piercing if you don’t have the body part. 1.1714 0.04777 105 92 8 5
2136 Looks like if we get to the public restroom we'll find Uranus. 1.1714 0.04581 105 91 10 4
2137 Maybe pick up some clothes before we zap them? 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
2138 Our previous expedition was wrong. There is no intelligent life here. 1.1714 0.04376 105 90 12 3
2139 Perfect. All the way from Beyond to find Bed/Bath is gone!" 1.1714 0.04376 105 90 12 3
2140 I guess we could invade the Banana Republic 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
2141 Who puts the Cinnabon on the 3rd floor of the galleria, animals 1.1714 0.04581 105 91 10 4
2142 It's fortunate they didn't use this format on their Voyager disk. 1.1714 0.03936 105 88 16 1
2143 If this is Earth, it should be a cinch to conquer. 1.1712 0.04767 111 98 7 6
2144 Yes we do need to blend in but I’m not going the f&!?ing Gap. 1.1712 0.04592 111 97 9 5
2145 Take me to your... Starbucks? 1.1712 0.04022 111 94 15 2
2146 Honey, I don’t believe they have any gender neutral bathrooms. 1.1712 0.04022 111 94 15 2
2147 Nice to know where we are, but do you believe in us? 1.1709 0.04589 117 103 8 6
2148 You would think a gender-inclusive culture would make it easier to find a unisex bathroom." 1.1709 0.04256 117 101 12 4
2149 You said you wanted to stop by the National Mall after the congressional hearings.. but I'm not sure we're in the right place 1.1709 0.04426 117 102 10 5
2150 They have us placed here between Venus Fashions and Mars Confections--they don't really seem capable of much precision. 1.1709 0.04589 117 103 8 6
2151 The last mile is always tough. 1.1709 0.03700 117 98 18 1
2152 Do you feel a little bit like a fish out of water? 1.1709 0.03894 117 99 16 2
2153 That must be the portal to a parallel universe. 1.1709 0.04079 117 100 14 3
2154 Great selection but the exchange rate is killing us. 1.1707 0.03778 123 104 17 2
2155 Clearly a human designed this 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
2156 I think I've had this nightmare before. 1.1704 0.04009 135 117 13 5
2157 We’re here because they advertise that the food court is ‘Out of this World’ 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
2158 I hear that ACME Electronics can fix a broken antenna. 1.1700 0.04507 100 86 11 3
2159 Intergalactic fashions for global warming are on level three 1.1700 0.04726 100 87 9 4
2160 From what I’ve seen of this species, I MUST visit this so-called genius bar. 1.1700 0.04935 100 88 7 5
2161 I feel the need for tidy whitees”. Submitted by Douglas Monaghan, Floral Park, New Yor 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
2162 Meet you at Victoria's Secret in a millennia. 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
2163 Let’s try this design on the nearest corn field 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
2164 This planet must be run by idiots. Obviously, we are "HERE" 1.1700 0.04726 100 87 9 4
2165 Eight million miles and you didn't check to see if Sears was still open. 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
2166 We are practically the only ones here! 1.1698 0.04126 106 90 14 2
2167 The arcade is gone? I wanted to play Space Invaders! 1.1698 0.03902 106 89 16 1
2168 400 years to get here and no wallet ? 1.1698 0.03664 106 88 18 0
2169 Our cover’s blown. Start the death beam. 1.1698 0.03902 106 89 16 1
2170 This advanced navigation protocol exceeds my comprehension. 1.1698 0.03902 106 89 16 1
2171 I wish these hats had better eye holes" "I think I left my clothes in the changing room 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
2172 That can't be right. It says area 51 is a Spencer's Gifts. 1.1698 0.04540 106 92 10 4
2173 We’re looking for the Independence Day sales. 1.1698 0.04540 106 92 10 4
2174 This map still has Sears. 1.1696 0.03781 112 94 17 1
2175 Where is Auntie Annes? 1.1696 0.04373 112 97 11 4
2176 We spent so much effort inventing warp propulsion… the concept of clothing, shoes and those giant pretzels are pure genius. 1.1696 0.03988 112 95 15 2
2177 Outer space is nice. But retail space has Cinnabon. 1.1696 0.03988 112 95 15 2
2178 They found you, Ypu. 1.1696 0.04185 112 96 13 3
2179 We must’ve made a wrong turn…. 1.1696 0.04373 112 97 11 4
2180 Mars is so much easier. 1.1695 0.03864 118 100 16 2
2181 Your leader” isn’t anywhere on here! 1.1695 0.04222 118 102 12 4
2182 Their leader is named... Joseph a. Banks? 1.1695 0.04047 118 101 14 3
2183 Where do you think we could get some of those novelty antennae? 1.1695 0.03864 118 100 16 2
2184 I hope there’s an Apple Store. I need a recharge. 1.1695 0.04222 118 102 12 4
2185 We come 13 million light-years and you couldn’t even get us to the right level? 1.1695 0.04222 118 102 12 4
2186 Let's find the Universal rest room. 1.1695 0.04709 118 105 6 7
2187 Damn it! We are gonna miss our flight, I knew they wouldn’t have hats in our size! 1.1694 0.04084 124 107 13 4
2188 We spent all the suit money at Dave n Busters didn’t we 1.1692 0.03958 130 112 14 4
2189 Say what you want- Sears was totally worth it. 1.1692 0.03805 130 111 16 3
2190 100 million light years to get here and now we’re lost. 1.1685 0.05113 89 78 7 4
2191 I think they said they capitol building was at the national mall. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
2192 This is so confusing... I just want to buy leggings! 1.1685 0.03991 89 74 15 0
2193 Now where in the heck did we park our car? 1.1684 0.04650 95 82 10 3
2194 Weren't you supposed to bring the credit card? 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
2195 You just had to put Mall Walking on your Other Galaxy Bucket List, didn’t you? 1.1684 0.04884 95 83 8 4
2196 I think we should have made that left at Albuquerque. 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
2197 How is it that you were able to navigate across the galaxy and now can’t find Starbucks? 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
2198 I see where they are, but our planet warned us about using the wrong restroom. 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
2199 I feel under-dressed. 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
2200 It doesn't say anything about a dress code. 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
2201 Oh, look at that. I thought they had closed all of the Gap stores. 1.1683 0.03997 101 85 15 1
2202 Mars…halls. Should we try Marshall’s? 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
2203 I have to admit their shopping malls are better. 1.1683 0.04889 101 89 7 5
2204 But if Spencer’s is closed, how can we possibly find the plasma lamp we need to get home? 1.1683 0.04682 101 88 9 4
2205 Damn it, we landed in the wrong lot. The White Sale is light years from here. 1.1683 0.04682 101 88 9 4
2206 I told you we should have used the restroom on the moon. 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
2207 I feel alienated and lost in this space. 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
2208 Where can we get Reese's Pieces? 1.1683 0.04889 101 89 7 5
2209 No signs of life detected, maybe we should try online 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
2210 I told you we kept passing the same Starbucks 1.1683 0.03997 101 85 15 1
2211 Not even a rudimentary understanding of solar systems. 1.1683 0.03997 101 85 15 1
2212 This must not be Texas. 1.1682 0.03633 107 89 18 0
2213 "Now we're really lost!" 1.1682 0.03868 107 90 16 1
2214 Let's see here. To get to their leader we must go straight, take a right and a quick left. 1.1682 0.04090 107 91 14 2
2215 I told you we’d taken a wrong turn. 1.1682 0.04300 107 92 12 3
2216 Victoria's Secret is as far as I'll go to conform to this planet's dress code. 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
2217 Now to get all the necessary information on this planet at the printed book store. 1.1681 0.04337 113 98 11 4
2218 Don’t let the ‘On Sale’ sign catch you in its tractor beam. 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
2219 Spielberg definitely said he'd meet us here? 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
2220 So what’s first, Cinnabons or clothes? 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
2221 Yes, those are the coordinates for Degnar galaxy but where's the portal entry? 1.1681 0.03643 119 100 18 1
2222 Try to look natural. We’re being shadowed by an agent from Saks. 1.1681 0.03834 119 101 16 2
2223 I sort of want to shop at Victoria's Secret, but they never have my size. 1.1681 0.04189 119 103 12 4
2224 This is slightly less confusing than navigating an asteroid field. 1.1681 0.03643 119 100 18 1
2225 If we find the location where the kids are playing video arcade games, no one will notice us. 1.1681 0.04189 119 103 12 4
2226 It appears to be some sort of cruel self-checkout ploy 1.1681 0.04189 119 103 12 4
2227 It was easier crossing the universe... 1.1680 0.04210 125 109 11 5
2228 This isn't what Rick Steves said. 1.1680 0.04054 125 108 13 4
2229 Take me to your Spencer's 1.1680 0.03722 125 106 17 2
2230 Take me to the pretzels. 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
2231 I was wondering where we were! 1.1667 0.03333 126 105 21 0
2232 Didn't it look round to you? 1.1667 0.03961 102 86 15 1
2233 I think it's the only UFO in the parking lot! How hard will it be to find!? Or did you leave the keys in it? 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
2234 Our predecessor, Xrfurq, died trying to find the source of intelligence in this place. 1.1667 0.04424 102 88 11 3
2235 Calculating 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2236 I guess this answers our question about whether this is an advanced civilization. 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
2237 Could a Craft store have a spacecraft? 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
2238 I know they wrecked the planet Mom, but their jeans are so cute! 1.1667 0.05059 90 79 7 4
2239 To late… I’ve already peed in my pants. 1.1667 0.04301 114 99 11 4
2240 Where's the Hot Topic? 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
2241 First we should probably get some clothes. 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
2242 You promised we'd be invisible if we removed our outer shell, but look, they've already found us! 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
2243 Yes the outfits were cheap, but we can only blend in at one time of the year. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
2244 Shall we visit the Space Age Store? 1.1667 0.03961 102 86 15 1
2245 So I’m both here *and* there? Two places at once? So much for the assurance that earthlings haven’t yet mastered quantum mechanics. 1.1667 0.03924 114 97 15 2
2246 I'm surprised we haven't been arrested yet for public nudity. 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2247 We've almost reached the source that drew us to this planet. Apparently humans call it Cinnabon. 1.1667 0.04651 108 95 8 5
2248 Didn't you say this is an advanced civilization? 1.1667 0.03721 114 96 17 1
2249 This culture is very cruel, we only just got here and already I feel body-shamed. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
2250 They purportedly have the finest pretzel in the Orion Spur 1.1667 0.03863 126 108 15 3
2251 This came up blank on our Galactic Positioning System. 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
2252 I told you we were supposed to hang a left at Zeta Reticuli. 1.1667 0.03984 120 103 14 3
2253 That’s the naked truth 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
2254 Great! I see where we can get Air Jordans ! 1.1667 0.04843 102 90 7 5
2255 Before we pick up zorthian fuel rods at The Sharper Image, can we stop at Hot Dog on a Stick? 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
2256 Did the humans put "out of the world deals" everywhere just for us? 1.1667 0.03961 102 86 15 1
2257 According to this, we parked behind the Bloomingdale's on Alpha Centauri. 1.1667 0.03961 102 86 15 1
2258 I don’t see anything that even suggests plutonium. 1.1667 0.03721 114 96 17 1
2259 I just want to go home 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2260 I'm starving - can we eat everyone first and then get clothes? 1.1667 0.04263 108 93 12 3
2261 Up is down and left is right? Why isn't this oriented correctly? Let's go. There's no intelligent life here. 1.1667 0.04156 120 104 12 4
2262 I guess we made a wrong turn at Jupiter 1.1667 0.04048 132 115 12 5
2263 Fascinating! Rectangular planets. 1.1667 0.03824 96 80 16 0
2264 I don't know! It could be a trick to test whether we can find the right pathway in the maze to find cheese. 1.1667 0.04461 108 94 10 4
2265 Do you think it’s all duty free? 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2266 Well apparently even all-knowing galactic travelers can get lost here 1.1667 0.03924 114 97 15 2
2267 How did these humans make travel so hard?! 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
2268 Do you see the optometrist location on this thing? 1.1654 0.03834 127 109 15 3
2269 Isn't this where she said she would meet us? 1.1654 0.03994 127 110 13 4
2270 >>They exhibit shared behavioral patterns: stroll aimlessly, disappear in side recesses, then come out carrying bags. They are not visibly forced, yet driven.<< Edith Birdsall, Houston, Texas 1.1653 0.03775 121 103 16 2
2271 First let's buy some clothes. 1.1653 0.03775 121 103 16 2
2272 ‘Abercrombie models wanted.’ Is this fate or what? 1.1652 0.04266 115 100 11 4
2273 And we thought we were there. 1.1652 0.03892 115 98 15 2
2274 Pretty limited perspective, but heck--let's try the Food Court anyway. 1.1652 0.03691 115 97 17 1
2275 I hope their political-administrative system is more logically organized than their architecture 1.1652 0.04083 115 99 13 3
2276 It’s so vast. 1.1652 0.03892 115 98 15 2
2277 I don’t know about you, but I feel like we are two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl… 1.1652 0.03892 115 98 15 2
2278 Do you think we should get something at the store behind us and try to blend in? 1.1651 0.04020 109 93 14 2
2279 This doesn't exactly require celestial navigational skills. 1.1651 0.04423 109 95 10 4
2280 Dammit Frank, I don't think we made it to Mercury. How do you zoom out on this? 1.1651 0.03803 109 92 16 1
2281 They’re more advanced than we thought! 1.1651 0.03573 109 91 18 0
2282 You’re telling me the only place I can find something that doesn’t make my butt look big is 65 billion light years away! 1.1651 0.04611 109 96 8 5
2283 We're naked, but nobody is going to care about that. 1.1651 0.03803 109 92 16 1
2284 What is this planet Cinnabon? 1.1651 0.04226 109 94 12 3
2285 I don't think we can buy Universal Health Care here... 1.1651 0.04423 109 95 10 4
2286 We're over budget. Let's do Nordstrom Rack. 1.1651 0.04226 109 94 12 3
2287 Seriously, we go seven hundred light years without stopping for directions and now we can’t find Orange Julius? Unbelievable. 1.1651 0.03803 109 92 16 1
2288 ‘Remember, the ship is parked on B4’ 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
2289 Do you see where we can get a good steak to put some meat on these bones?" 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
2290 what's a 'you'? 1.1650 0.04799 103 91 7 5
2291 I don't see a store for dilithium crystals. Why don't you try Planet Fitness and I'll look at Johnny Rockets. 1.1650 0.04799 103 91 7 5
2292 I think that's a religious symbol.... 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
2293 I keep telling you: there is no ant farm. 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
2294 It's no wonder they prefer online shopping! 1.1650 0.03926 103 87 15 1
2295 I'm guessing none of them will take our credit cards. 1.1650 0.03926 103 87 15 1
2296 We went the wrong way, Larry…you parked the Saucer outside Macy’s 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
2297 Food court? They’re cannibals! 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
2298 I said you took a wrong turn at the Andromeda galaxy, Mr. 'I Don't Need No Freakin' Map!'" 1.1649 0.04789 97 85 8 4
2299 Where are we? 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
2300 How do they know, Trongar? Perhaps they are more advanced than we thought. 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
2301 Welcome to the new season of: "Naked and Afraid: Alien Mall Crawl" 1.1649 0.05009 97 86 6 5
2302 They have been expecting us! 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
2303 Where would they have Ray Bans? 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
2304 How do humans read this? Our crop circles are easier to read. 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
2305 I told you it was the wrong place. It’s Area 51 NOT rue21! 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
2306 I don't see why we travelled three light-years to go to a mall that looks like every other mall in the universe. 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
2307 OK, we're here. But where are our genitals? 1.1649 0.04560 97 84 10 3
2308 Will they accept Galactic Bitcoins? 1.1649 0.04560 97 84 10 3
2309 Where's Sephora? I want to look like those other skinny girls I saw on TikTok 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
2310 I've forgotten how to read paper maps! 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
2311 What on earth happened to Sharper Image? 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
2312 Which bathroom do we use? Men's or Women's? 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
2313 Uh oh. The gender-neutral clothing outlet is way down at the other end of this place. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
2314 I think I smell a Cinnabon. 1.1638 0.03861 116 99 15 2
2315 Will accept Galaxy credit cards? 1.1638 0.03861 116 99 15 2
2316 Well I knew that, but where's here? 1.1638 0.04051 116 100 13 3
2317 I thought Earth had intelligent life. 1.1638 0.03861 116 99 15 2
2318 Let’s start in lingerie and work our way up. 1.1638 0.04232 116 101 11 4
2319 Whaddya mean there's no Radio Shack? 1.1638 0.04051 116 100 13 3
2320 YOU SAID, IF I CAN FIND ALPHA CENTAURI I CAN FIND THE FOOD COURT. 1.1636 0.04571 110 97 8 5
2321 I can't believe that we came all the way from Alpha Centauri 237 for Chuck Taylor high tops. 1.1636 0.04190 110 95 12 3
2322 So many clothing shops, it must be cold here 1.1636 0.04190 110 95 12 3
2323 I told you, you should have asked for directions. 1.1636 0.03986 110 94 14 2
2324 This all looks very alien to me. 1.1636 0.04385 110 96 10 4
2325 After 12 light years and countless generations of life and death aboard our starship, we are only a few historic steps from finally learning Victoria’s secret. 1.1636 0.04190 110 95 12 3
2326 How oddly specific. 1.1636 0.04571 110 97 8 5
2327 What the Hell?!! 1.1636 0.04385 110 96 10 4
2328 It’s a galaxy of … capitalism? 1.1636 0.04385 110 96 10 4
2329 We can get everything we need here just to blend in. 1.1636 0.03771 110 93 16 1
2330 Okay, we'll just get a new probe and we're out of here. 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
2331 Wait, we're supposed walk and figure this out? 1.1635 0.03891 104 88 15 1
2332 We had billions and billions of shopping malls to choose from and we pick the one without a Cinnabon!" 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
2333 Here" must mean "barren wasteland. 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
2334 Forget intelligent life -- we need to find pants. 1.1635 0.03891 104 88 15 1
2335 Face it; we're lost! 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
2336 Now I understand why the tour scheduled the mall after the casino. 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
2337 First things first: an underwear department! 1.1635 0.03644 104 87 17 0
2338 No wonder humans haven’t navigated the universe, they are horrible with directions. 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
2339 This is why we should have used Apple Maps! 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
2340 Where's the Leader Board? 1.1635 0.03891 104 88 15 1
2341 You can find your way from our planet to this one, but you can’t find the Macy’s! 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
2342 These places all smell alike. 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
2343 Are you positive this iPod store can help us returnt home? 1.1635 0.03644 104 87 17 0
2344 127 stores and not a single probe. 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
2345 This terrestrial navigation is weird! 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2346 Ok, clothes first, then Sbarro 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
2347 Forget about being taken to the leader. Three quarters of these stores are history. 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
2348 We forgot out mail-ien rebates at home. 1.1633 0.04516 98 85 10 3
2349 The guy at Information said we could refuel at Starbucks. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2350 This planet is barren and almost devoid of life. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2351 But we know where we are. What's the point of telling us this? 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2352 You go right and I’ll go left…. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2353 I told you to take a left, not a right when we passed that third galaxy. But you. You never listen, do you? 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2354 Look Spencer, they named a store after you.” 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2355 Where's the aliens room? 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2356 People are strange. 1.1633 0.04516 98 85 10 3
2357 Which way to the Mars Bar? 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
2358 The sales here are supposedly out of this world. 1.1633 0.04516 98 85 10 3
2359 Did you remember the credit card? I told you and told you, "Don't leave Ga*wal-ad-jni without it!" 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
2360 Who are they kidding? We “found ourselves” years ago when we decided to shed all our pretenses. 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
2361 You idiot! You brought me to the only mall in the Universe without a Brandy Melville. 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
2362 Of course we are here. We are aliens. 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
2363 Our interstellar space map is easier to read. 1.1630 0.04955 92 81 7 4
2364 I don't recognize half these stores. 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
2365 I live in the same city, but why do I feel like an alien every time I come here? 1.1630 0.03520 135 115 18 2
2366 Just act like you know where we're going 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
2367 I thought we were invisible to earthlings! 1.1628 0.04924 86 75 8 3
2368 Where's the food court? I could really enjoy some fried gzorbll! 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
2369 The directory does show a Piercing Pagoda. Do you think this is where earthlings conduct their version of probing? 1.1624 0.03831 117 100 15 2
2370 When we told the Captain that we wanted to control them all when we landed, I think he misheard us. 1.1624 0.04535 117 104 7 6
2371 Their world sure is small, isn't it? 1.1624 0.03831 117 100 15 2
2372 I guess we can give Petites a shot 1.1624 0.03633 117 99 17 1
2373 I've always found these posters patronizing. It doesn't make our problem any less relevant." 1.1624 0.04018 117 101 13 3
2374 Oh, come on what could they possibly do? We haven’t done anything wrong and we’ve got nothing to hide. 1.1624 0.04018 117 101 13 3
2375 Maybe it's upside down? 1.1623 0.03254 154 131 21 2
2376 Let’s find a clothing store first, then we can grab a bite to eat. 1.1622 0.04348 111 97 10 4
2377 Yes, but where is their leader? 1.1622 0.04155 111 96 12 3
2378 Duh! Of course we are here. Stupid earthlings. Did you bring the Crate & Barrel coupon Arnold? 1.1622 0.03953 111 95 14 2
2379 I think it was an 80's, 90's thing. 1.1622 0.03740 111 94 16 1
2380 We've lost control of our teletransportation! 1.1622 0.03740 111 94 16 1
2381 Well there’s got to be SOMEPLACE that sells probes. 1.1622 0.04155 111 96 12 3
2382 We traveled 23,000 light years to get here and we find they’ve sold out of the perfect shade of blue towels. 1.1622 0.04348 111 97 10 4
2383 I don't think we're in Kansas anymore. 1.1619 0.03857 105 89 15 1
2384 Starbucks? I feel like I’m home. 1.1619 0.04306 105 91 11 3
2385 Oh look--they have a Sbarro here! 1.1619 0.03857 105 89 15 1
2386 The human navigational systems are alien, even to me 1.1619 0.04088 105 90 13 2
2387 I think we made a wrong turn around Tau Ceti! 1.1619 0.03612 105 88 17 0
2388 So we came all the way to THIS? 1.1619 0.04306 105 91 11 3
2389 Do they really think we need help to tell us where we are? 1.1619 0.04088 105 90 13 2
2390 It’s their leader 1.1619 0.03857 105 89 15 1
2391 Which one do you think is their leader? Starbucks? H&M? 1.1619 0.04088 105 90 13 2
2392 I told you not to make the left at Mars! 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
2393 Now we must locate this Director Y and give him our terms. 1.1616 0.04698 99 87 8 4
2394 "Wow! They certainly know how to organize souvenir shops!" 1.1616 0.03986 99 84 14 1
2395 First pants, THEN the food court. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
2396 I we had asked for directions an hour ago, we would be dressed by now. 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
2397 So we come from Beyond and that store is now gone! 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
2398 Petco. We can adopt a human there. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
2399 Oh look they have Bed, Bath & Beyond here too. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
2400 Geez! 56 million kilometers! Just ask someone for directions. 1.1610 0.04335 118 104 9 5
2401 Could have used something like this before you landed our saucer in a swamp. 1.1610 0.03986 118 102 13 3
2402 Let's just go back! 1.1610 0.03986 118 102 13 3
2403 What are "gender-neutral bathrooms?" 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
2404 Clothing stores, clothing stores, clothing stores. What's the point? 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
2405 Guy Fieri seems important. 1.1609 0.05137 87 77 6 4
2406 I never noticed the Ring Nebula had ice cream. 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
2407 5 billion miles! Wow, Waze is really that good... 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
2408 I wonder where Star Wars is playing. 1.1607 0.03486 112 94 18 0
2409 I don’t care if its duty free—the earthlings’ code is too complex. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
2410 Really?! What space cadet came up with this? 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
2411 Which should we conquer first, Barnes and Noble or Toys-r-Us? 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
2412 Yes, I can see that she’s very beautiful, but it’s just a picture. 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
2413 Where is the gender neutral restroom? 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
2414 Okay, now we know where they are, which one do we use? 1.1604 0.04474 106 93 9 4
2415 This explains a lot 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
2416 ‘How did they know were there? These humans are smarter than we thought. 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2417 How about that? It’s a mall world after all. But next time, let’s stay home and order from Amazon.” 1.1604 0.04859 106 95 5 6
2418 Ugh! There are only vegan options at the food court. 1.1604 0.04670 106 94 7 5
2419 I told you we should have turned left after Proxima Centauri not right! 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2420 You say Mars, I say Malls. What’s the difference? 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2421 I don't know about finding our way home . . . at this point, I'd just like to find the nearest Olive Garden. 1.1604 0.03824 106 90 15 1
2422 I hear the Thai place in the food court is out-of-this-world. 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2423 We’re 10 years too late, aren’t we? 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
2424 Find the Cinnabon 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2425 Who said I wanted to be there? 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2426 Maybe we should just ask someone where to find their leader. 1.1600 0.03949 100 85 14 1
2427 It's too complex - just say 'take me to your Cinnabon.'" 1.1600 0.04000 125 109 12 4
2428 Haven’t been to a Spenser’s Gift in 1,000,000 light years 1.1600 0.04654 100 88 8 4
2429 Oh, come on. Yes, Forever 21 will have our size, but it’s not our style. 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2430 Where is the gender department? 1.1600 0.04654 100 88 8 4
2431 But it doesn't say where we parked. 1.1600 0.03949 100 85 14 1
2432 Did you turn off the lights before we left?? 1.1600 0.04431 100 87 10 3
2433 I would much rather do this online. 1.1600 0.04431 100 87 10 3
2434 I think that we took a wrong turn at Saturn. 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2435 No Sunglass Hut?! I must have been thinking of the Esplanade Galleria in the Andromeda Galaxy! 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2436 Let's head to Pizza Planet after lunch 1.1600 0.04654 100 88 8 4
2437 hey how come we ain't got penises? 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2438 Ugh, 2D is so 1D. 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2439 Mall? Didn’t know those really existed! 1.1600 0.03685 100 84 16 0
2440 I feel so naked on this planet. 1.1597 0.03771 119 102 15 2
2441 Remind me which dimension we’re in. 1.1597 0.03771 119 102 15 2
2442 But I wanted to be closer to the arcade! 1.1597 0.03955 119 103 13 3
2443 Wow, this place is more confusing than SPACE 1.1597 0.04300 119 105 9 5
2444 I knew Earthlings came in different colors..but who would have guessed Plaid? 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
2445 Who's you? 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
2446 Damn! We travelled 300 lightyears to get here, and the food court doesn’t sell pizza! 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
2447 Does "You are Here" include the entire Universe? 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
2448 You were supposed to remember which entrance we parked the flying saucer at! 1.1596 0.03797 94 79 15 0
2449 When we said “Take me to your leader” didn’t think it would be so literal as American capitalism in a building. -Taylor S Boston, Mass 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
2450 Wow, they’re smarter than I thought. They have a whole workshop dedicated to building bears. 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
2451 What's a Mall???? 1.1593 0.03679 113 96 16 1
2452 I’m sorry this seems primitive, but you’re the one who refused to ask for directions! 1.1593 0.03458 113 95 18 0
2453 I hope their food court has snyrkx 1.1593 0.04275 113 99 10 4
2454 Wow, those security guards were rude. 'No shirt, no shoes, no service?' I wonder if they treat all out-of-town visitors that way." 1.1593 0.03888 113 97 14 2
2455 But Amazon doesn't have an Orange Julius, does it? 1.1593 0.04086 113 98 12 3
2456 Didn't I tell you, earthlings love their maps. 1.1593 0.03458 113 95 18 0
2457 The HOT TOPIC is out of business?? 1.1593 0.04275 113 99 10 4
2458 Take us to your loss leader. 1.1591 0.04818 88 77 8 3
2459 Quit being stubborn. Just ask someone to take us to their leader. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
2460 It says 'NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE'. 1.1589 0.04434 107 94 9 4
2461 The whole thing looks like a food court to me. 1.1589 0.04017 107 92 13 2
2462 It says 'You are here... or are you?" 1.1589 0.04017 107 92 13 2
2463 Where is the underwear store? 1.1589 0.04231 107 93 11 3
2464 If one of those life forms comes up to us and says klaatu barada nikto I'll just die. 1.1589 0.03791 107 91 15 1
2465 I’ve a feeling we’re not in Xansas anymore. 1.1589 0.04231 107 93 11 3
2466 I don't see any Orange Julius...Don't tell me we came all this way for nothing. 1.1587 0.03807 126 109 14 3
2467 Take me to your lederhosen. 1.1587 0.03457 126 107 18 1
2468 I don’t understand their art. 1.1584 0.03651 101 85 16 0
2469 Define ‘here’. Define ‘are’. 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2470 There are a lot of craters on this planet. 1.1584 0.04610 101 89 8 4
2471 How do they navigate the universe? 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2472 They go through all this just to find something to wear? 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2473 No. we're not where the arrow is. We're here on the floor. Why are they trying to confuse us? 1.1583 0.03742 120 103 15 2
2474 Could ‘The Gap’ be our path to the space-time continuum that got us here? 1.1583 0.03742 120 103 15 2
2475 In their world Margaritaville is only in some shopping centers. They might not have it. 1.1579 0.03506 152 132 16 4
2476 ... but Sears asked us to come 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2477 Do you think they have our size? 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
2478 We are here, but is the truth still out there? (Cue in X-Files theme music) 1.1579 0.04053 114 99 12 3
2479 I left the entry device in the ship. 1.1579 0.03856 114 98 14 2
2480 What is clothing? 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
2481 Where's Elon's X ? 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2482 After that schlep and the lousy parking, they better have my size!” 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2483 You swore by the Supreme Being humankind had eradicated Toys “R” Us! 1.1579 0.03761 95 80 15 0
2484 You said there'd be a Starbucks. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2485 See if you can find the intelligent life department 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2486 The naked truth is I hate shopping for clothes. 1.1579 0.03856 114 98 14 2
2487 I told you we should have stayed home and ordered online. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2488 She doesn’t look like you! 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2489 Florg, look! They still have a Wicks 'n' Sticks! 1.1579 0.04053 114 99 12 3
2490 I heard Auntie Anne’s pretzels are out of this world. 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2491 Check the map for Amazon 1.1579 0.03856 114 98 14 2
2492 Remind me again why they won’t deliver to Mars. 1.1575 0.03941 127 111 12 4
2493 Why cover our bodies now. Never done in movies. 1.1575 0.03779 127 110 14 3
2494 I think we need to check the coordinates. Doesn't look like grandma's new home. 1.1574 0.03758 108 92 15 1
2495 A thriving mall? So we’re time travelers too? 1.1574 0.04194 108 94 11 3
2496 See, I told you the JC Penny has closed. 1.1574 0.03758 108 92 15 1
2497 Ok now look for Spencer Gifts. 1.1574 0.04395 108 95 9 4
2498 Bed Bath and Beyond sounds promising! 1.1574 0.04395 108 95 9 4
2499 So, where is the foreign currency exchange desk? 1.1574 0.03758 108 92 15 1
2500 New leadership seems to have replaced Planet Hollywood. 1.1574 0.03982 108 93 13 2
2501 Maybe we should try "Good Will" instead. 1.1574 0.03982 108 93 13 2
2502 But Mom, you promised I could get my qzzmexks pierced. 1.1574 0.03982 108 93 13 2
2503 Anagram: Take me to your dealer 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
2504 How do we know which one of us the arrow points to? 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
2505 I don’t care where we buy them. We need pants, stat! 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
2506 You gotta' be a rocket scientist to figure this map out. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
2507 The teleportation device must have malfunctio...hey, what happened to our pants!? 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
2508 Brooks Brothers or Talbots first? 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
2509 There's a Star Trek movie showing at the cinema. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
2510 Chico’s or Coldwater Creek? 1.1570 0.04067 121 106 11 4
2511 We should just ask someone to take us to their leader. 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2512 It's the fourth store from Sunglass Hut. 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2513 I don't think this map is to scale. 1.1569 0.03878 102 87 14 1
2514 'So that's why they wanted us to leave the spaceship in an open field.' 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
2515 Are we really "here" or is it just a bad dream that I will soon wake up from? 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
2516 Do you see a site that says "Beam Me Up"? 1.1569 0.03619 102 86 16 0
2517 What?! We came 30 billiion miles, and they have no Orange Julius?! 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
2518 Do you feel a draft? 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2519 Bummer.....no Arby's. 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2520 I told you to pick one that had Nordstrom 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
2521 Do you think they’ll validate for spaceship parking? 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
2522 I told you...the Orange Julius closed down ages ago! 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
2523 I think we’re going to stick out as the only naked people in here. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
2524 The reports are true. No one is here. 1.1565 0.03403 115 97 18 0
2525 I told you it was practically deserted! 1.1565 0.03620 115 98 16 1
2526 I don't think this is the dressing room. 1.1562 0.03725 96 81 15 0
2527 No, no. I said crop circles, not food court circles. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2528 They don’t have Space & M. 1.1562 0.03725 96 81 15 0
2529 Our highly advance artificial intelligence program neglected to mention the bit about wearing clothing. So, we'll just proceed nonchalantly, and perhaps no one will notice. 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
2530 Shoot, Aliens R Us closed! 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
2531 Let's go see that E.T. movie. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2532 First the candy store, then we’ll see where they sell plutonium. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2533 There’s no Auntie Anne’s here? 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2534 Unitard sale at Bloomies sounds good. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2535 nothing" goes her 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
2536 They say it’s haunted. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2537 Burlington Coat Factory seems like a good place to start! 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
2538 We navigated through the galaxy, I'm sure we can find the Gap. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2539 I thought you said there was a Starbucks here. 1.1562 0.03912 128 112 12 4
2540 Over a billion years of humanity evolving, and they still can’t make a way of finding the food court any easier! 1.1562 0.04759 96 85 7 4
2541 What in the universe does this mean? 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2542 If we had asked for directions we would have been here hours ago! 1.1560 0.03727 109 93 15 1
2543 Any clue where we parked the saucer? 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2544 That's patently false! 1.1560 0.03727 109 93 15 1
2545 ...hmm. More impressive on line... 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2546 Where is the duty free section? 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2547 Can you see a restaurant that serves people? 1.1560 0.03491 109 92 17 0
2548 But Captain Bezos told us there would be space available. 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2549 But where are the gender neutral restrooms? 1.1560 0.04357 109 96 9 4
2550 Take me to your Foot Locker 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2551 Maybe we should try something else other than 'Take me to your leader.' 1.1557 0.03496 122 104 17 1
2552 Nobody carries petites anymore! 1.1557 0.04358 122 109 7 6
2553 What? No Sephora? This is bullshit. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
2554 Area 51 outlets are just a myth. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
2555 Maybe we should ask that Santa guy for some new clothes. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
2556 I'm just gonna ask to speak to a manager. 1.1556 0.03466 135 116 17 2
2557 So they all must be food lawyers. 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
2558 What a quaint solar system 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2559 That cinnamon roll aroma is coming from somewhere in here. 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2560 What do you mean there's no Brookstone? 1.1553 0.03587 103 87 16 0
2561 We could relax in - what we're they? - oh yay, the rest rooms. 1.1553 0.03843 103 88 14 1
2562 Well this should take us to their leader. 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2563 Do you see Area 51? 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2564 I was told there would be goth girls. 1.1553 0.04525 103 91 8 4
2565 Will this take us to their Leader? 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2566 I swear there was a Spencer's here when we visited three decades ago.... 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2567 Marge, maybe suits first and then home furnishings” 1.1552 0.03376 116 98 18 0
2568 You are here"?!? Sounds like a topic for an existential discussion. 1.1552 0.03794 116 100 14 2
2569 We need a currency exchange booth for our Zlutzkis 1.1552 0.03987 116 101 12 3
2570 We're going to look funny in their clothes. 1.1552 0.03591 116 99 16 1
2571 Klaatu barada nikto 1.1552 0.03987 116 101 12 3
2572 Is it an Orange Julius or a Dairy Queen? It can’t be both. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
2573 Mission Directive: Locate General Gau and Collect Sample. 1.1548 0.04936 84 74 7 3
2574 We’re at the third Starbucks from the sun 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
2575 It’s better if Mom beams us up from Spencer’s. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
2576 I hope we find uniforms that fit because I heard the shipping charges are astronomical. 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2577 Did you set the coordinates to Planet Hollywood? 1.1546 0.04713 97 86 7 4
2578 Where are the theaters? We are late for ‘the martian’. 1.1546 0.04713 97 86 7 4
2579 I told you we were supposed to make a left at Gemini 9! 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
2580 Look again, there must be a place that sells underwear. 1.1546 0.03690 97 82 15 0
2581 Where's the sun 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2582 You're right, Lulu...we arent anywhere on that map. 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
2583 That's got to be it, on the third floor: Clothes Encounter. 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2584 Who's Spencer? Why a gift? 1.1546 0.03690 97 82 15 0
2585 Makes you wonder why we gave up clothes. 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2586 ET was right about Auntie Ann’s 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
2587 Where do you think we can find their leader? 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2588 Ugh it's so far. We should have just abducted it online. 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
2589 You” must be their leader 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
2590 But will people think we're underdressed? 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
2591 Hope this new frontier has a food court. 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
2592 These people are idiot.We’re not there .We’re here. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
2593 We need to find a Petites Department, before we both get arrested. 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
2594 See, I told you that you should have turned left at Alpha Centauri. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
2595 Wanna abduct some soft pretzels? 1.1538 0.04484 104 92 8 4
2596 Here? Where in the Universe? 1.1538 0.04271 104 91 10 3
2597 I think we made a wrong turn at Andromeda 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
2598 We're too late. This is a dead world. 1.1538 0.03809 104 89 14 1
2599 Quick, where’s the bathroom? 1.1538 0.03855 130 114 12 4
2600 You're positive it's ET&T and not AT&T? 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
2601 The only store that we are dressed for is Walmart. 1.1538 0.03809 104 89 14 1
2602 Why is the restroom always ar the other end of the mall? 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
2603 Five stores dedicated to baseball caps, but not a single antimatter dealer? 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
2604 It must be light-years to a bathroom. 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
2605 Oh boy, public restrooms. Get ready for all the ruckus. 1.1538 0.04137 117 103 10 4
2606 Our leader’s right. There are no signs of intelligent life here. 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
2607 Maybe a clothing store first. 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
2608 Taylor Swift isn't performing here! 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
2609 Curiously they have a container store and another just for lids. 1.1538 0.03809 104 89 14 1
2610 I heard theres a black hole in the Ikea here 1.1538 0.03955 117 102 12 3
2611 It never occurred to me to bring my wallet on this trip. 1.1532 0.03806 124 108 13 3
2612 Zorg said her name is Auntie Anne. 1.1532 0.04470 111 99 7 5
2613 I thought you said we were looking for area sixty TWO? 1.1532 0.04087 111 97 11 3
2614 Turns out The Gap isn’t a wormhole, but those stellar deals sucked me right in! 1.1532 0.04087 111 97 11 3
2615 The Food Court is on the other side, but we can start eating here. 1.1532 0.04087 111 97 11 3
2616 OK WE ARE HERE, BUT WHERE DID WE PARK? 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
2617 We need a clothing store, asap! 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
2618 I wonder if this will direct us to their leader? 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
2619 Where's Waldo? 1.1531 0.04436 98 86 9 3
2620 It’s going to take a lot longer to get home than I thought 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
2621 Now remember, we're on parking level B West" 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
2622 I told you they were shallow....you can see right though them! 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
2623 Sure, here WE are. But where are our genitalia? 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
2624 I thought we parked by the Sears. 1.1531 0.04436 98 86 9 3
2625 But how do we find their leader? 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
2626 I thought you set the GPS for Pocatello. 1.1529 0.03927 85 72 13 0
2627 Exaltation be with us. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
2628 I think something was lost in translation when you asked for us to be taken to their lost leaders. 1.1525 0.04104 118 104 10 4
2629 So much for "non-intelligent life form": They've detected us, we're trapped! And that's only because you absolutely had to have that "Alien Burger"! 1.1525 0.04277 118 105 8 5
2630 GPS coordinates would make this much easier 1.1524 0.04232 105 92 10 3
2631 The last mile to finally clothes, I hope 1.1524 0.04444 105 93 8 4
2632 I told you we were way off course. 1.1524 0.04010 105 91 12 2
2633 Take me to your leader and your P. F. Chang's. 1.1524 0.04010 105 91 12 2
2634 This sign explains the lack of intelligence of humans who go searching for where they’re supposed to be - How can we be on this map when we’re standing right here? J Kinsey - Toronto ONT 1.1524 0.04232 105 92 10 3
2635 According to this these humanoids have no sense of direction. 1.1524 0.04232 105 92 10 3
2636 No Five Guys is not "just as good." We came this far, and I want Shake Shack. 1.1524 0.04444 105 93 8 4
2637 What do you mean they don't have a Gorps? I thought that store was EVERYWHERE! 1.1524 0.03524 105 89 16 0
2638 This ain’t Texas! 1.1524 0.04232 105 92 10 3
2639 I said, "We want them all." 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
2640 I thought the IT guy said, "Mall Wear". Not sure now. 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
2641 I told you Wilbur, you should have taken a left at Saturn! I told you you'd get us lost! Don't roll your eyes at me Wilbur!! 1.1522 0.03765 92 78 14 0
2642 Is there a spanx store? 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2643 And humans think we’re the evil ones. 1.1522 0.04872 92 82 6 4
2644 Darth Mall 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2645 It worked in Miami. 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2646 Dad, I really don’t like these history museums as much as you do. Can we please go somewhere else for bonding time? 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
2647 There's a Wilson's Leather store! Take me to your leather." "If you don't stop making those jokes then I'm going to leave you in this universe. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
2648 This will be perfect for staging our invasion--the place is completely empty. 1.1520 0.04104 125 111 9 5
2649 All these stores with the exact same stuff. And why do they want cover their bodies, anyway? 1.1520 0.04104 125 111 9 5
2650 Ok … “Take us to your Leader” may not work here. 1.1518 0.04053 112 98 11 3
2651 But, can we get there at warp speed? 1.1518 0.03634 112 96 15 1
2652 Even our advanced planetary navigational system would be confused. 1.1518 0.03849 112 97 13 2
2653 I told you we couldn't trust the Earthlings' crude GPS system. 1.1518 0.03849 112 97 13 2
2654 I thought all we needed to do was say take me to your leader. 1.1518 0.04247 112 99 9 4
2655 These beings seem to have not sense of direction and wander aimlessly. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2656 We need to find the multiverse, not the multiplex. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2657 Shorts ‘n shades, then we empty the bank. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2658 It’s a little TOO specific. 1.1515 0.03622 99 84 15 0
2659 Ok, please DON’T act weird or start pointing at things and laughing when we get to Spencer’s or they will DEFINITELY know we’re underage-Just blend in and act normal! 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
2660 Looks like we ended up inside a Kandinsky painting. 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
2661 Their sensors are clearly better than we thought. 1.1515 0.03622 99 84 15 0
2662 I’m not sure what we do here but the guide said this is a New Jersey cultural site. 1.1515 0.03622 99 84 15 0
2663 I know I’m here . Where is the ATM? Where is Santa? And where is the parking??? 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
2664 This map is out of this world. 1.1509 0.03494 106 90 16 0
2665 Don't they offer online shopping? 1.1509 0.04404 106 94 8 4
2666 Damn they closed the Macy's 1.1509 0.03742 106 91 14 1
2667 What did I tell you Harry. You're never willing to listen to directions. Now look where we are. 1.1509 0.03742 106 91 14 1
2668 I forgot my purse at home." 1.1509 0.03742 106 91 14 1
2669 Can we find the Panda Express before we find their leader? The food on the flight here was so bad. 1.1509 0.03742 106 91 14 1
2670 But where can we Phone Home? 1.1509 0.03975 106 92 12 2
2671 Looks like we parked kind of far away. 1.1509 0.03975 106 92 12 2
2672 We might have taken a wrong turn in the wormhole. 1.1509 0.03494 106 90 16 0
2673 Please tell me they have a bathroom. 1.1509 0.03975 106 92 12 2
2674 It’s like this everywhere. All they have are arrows. I’m beginning to think we’ll never actually see a YOU. And no, I don’t think they’re microscopic. 1.1508 0.03575 126 109 15 2
2675 I think we need a clothing store right away. 1.1505 0.03728 93 79 14 0
2676 And just how do you suggest we pay for those new outfits? 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2677 55% of these stores would be out of business if these dopey humans would stop wearing clothes!” 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
2678 All too complicated. Maybe we should just pass on finding souvenirs for the wives. 1.1505 0.04573 93 82 8 3
2679 We should probably start with a clothing store and go from there. 1.1505 0.03728 93 79 14 0
2680 Take—me—to—your—Levi’s. 1.1505 0.04573 93 82 8 3
2681 The shoes here are out of this world 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2682 What no Target? 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
2683 I think we look better without clothes. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2684 Ask it where we parked the spaceship! 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2685 First, a clothing store. This AC is making me shrivel. 1.1504 0.04019 113 99 11 3
2686 We need to find the Leaderboard. 1.1504 0.04019 113 99 11 3
2687 You still have no idea where you parked the space ship, do you... 1.1504 0.04019 113 99 11 3
2688 They put their food on trial before they send it to foot imprisonment. 1.1504 0.03604 113 97 15 1
2689 First let’s buy underwear. Then we can hit up the food court. 1.1504 0.03773 133 117 12 4
2690 I told you! We parked one level up. 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
2691 Oh, come on! Not one farm-to-table restaurant in this entire place? 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
2692 You figure it out. You're supposed to be a level 1 navigator 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
2693 Weren’t these extinct? 1.1500 0.03676 120 104 14 2
2694 We'll need clothes to blend in. Where's the children's shop? 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
2695 Their consumer culture is barbaric - ooh, but they do have a Coldstone Creamery. 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
2696 That tells us NOTHING. 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
2697 I don't know this constellation. 1.1500 0.03273 120 102 18 0
2698 Ooohhh. They have Cinnabon here, too. Yay! 1.1500 0.03862 120 105 12 3
2699 Let's go, this species' wasteful consumer culture is too primitive 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
2700 If there's no TCBY, let's GTFO 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
2701 I’m not seeing Intelligent Life anywhere… 1.1500 0.04578 100 89 7 4
2702 How does this seem hard after millions of miles of interplanetary travel? 1.1500 0.03676 120 104 14 2
2703 Wow, they really must be very liberal with their data privacy. 1.1500 0.03481 120 103 16 1
2704 We traveled 13 billion light-years, and this place has nothing we would want to buy! 1.1496 0.03178 127 108 19 0
2705 So many clothes and you forgot you wallet. 1.1496 0.03549 127 110 15 2
2706 We need a much larger map. 1.1495 0.03940 107 93 12 2
2707 Take us to your Food Court 1.1495 0.03940 107 93 12 2
2708 See? We're no where NEAR the parking garage. 1.1495 0.03710 107 92 14 1
2709 yes, commander, look at the wall! we arrived! we are here! 1.1495 0.04158 107 94 10 3
2710 That’s not telling us much! 1.1495 0.03710 107 92 14 1
2711 We’re never gonna find where we parked our spaceship. 1.1495 0.04158 107 94 10 3
2712 Objectively, we're not. 1.1495 0.03710 107 92 14 1
2713 Finding this planet was easier than finding a bathroom. 1.1495 0.03940 107 93 12 2
2714 C113. Sbarro is in C113. 1.1495 0.03710 107 92 14 1
2715 Maybe we should have worn disguises. 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
2716 Let's do some window shopping and meet here in one nanosecond 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2717 OK, but how do we get home? 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
2718 Oh shit! A ghost! 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
2719 I thought you said they weren't advanced?! 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2720 The hearing must be here, there's the Food Court... 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2721 I though you said we were going to 'Planet' Hollywood. 1.1491 0.03786 114 99 13 2
2722 After traveling here from another galaxy, I'm now feeling kinda' dumb. 1.1491 0.03786 114 99 13 2
2723 Not one phone booth in the place. 1.1491 0.03786 114 99 13 2
2724 I'm telling you, we left the wormhole next to Banana Republic. 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
2725 What happened to Bed, Bath, and Beyond? That store really got me. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2726 How did they know we got here why didn't they tell us about the dress code? 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2727 I've tracked the warm cinnamon smell from home to this food court.... 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2728 It's constantly changing and evolving—basically survival of the faddish. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2729 Look, Xenothorp, it knows where we are! 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2730 And to think Klaatu had the chance to vaporize them. 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
2731 What are clothes? 1.1489 0.04773 94 84 6 4
2732 What have you done? Can AI get us out of this mess? 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
2733 So you drive me 30 light years to find out that the Radio Shack closed?!? 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
2734 Wait, so you are telling me, this is what humans think we look like? 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
2735 when in Rome…clothes! 1.1488 0.03648 121 105 14 2
2736 I hear Hot Topic has nice stuff. 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
2737 Arn, there's nothing here for us--we don't wear clothes and their food is toxic. 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2