Contest #895


Cartoon

895


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started -
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued -
Number of captions 4958
Number of responses 777820
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Do you think death rays would be considered electronics or sporting goods? 1.6323 0.01200 4014 2170 1150 694
1 Oh sure, now you look at a map. 1.6322 0.01829 1778 976 480 322
2 I've never heard of planet fitness. 1.6267 0.01787 1918 1079 476 363
3 Wait, was it "conquer the mall" or "conquer them all"? 1.6243 0.02009 1533 870 369 294
4 To Bed, Bath, and Beyond! 1.6205 0.01395 2975 1640 824 511
5 What do they mean "Space for Rent"? 1.6170 0.01280 3736 2132 903 701
6 You idiot! I said Area 51, not Forever 21! 1.6029 0.02168 1239 704 323 212
7 They deny our existence but know where we are? 1.6021 0.01975 1445 809 402 234
8 We’re good; they’re all looking at their phones. 1.5990 0.01687 2005 1135 539 331
9 Dairy Queen, that must be their leader 1.5858 0.01433 2721 1557 734 430
10 It's just a long way to come for khakis, is all I'm saying. 1.5819 0.02242 1062 598 310 154
11 What happened to Radio Shack? Now we'll never get home. 1.5812 0.01494 2648 1569 619 460
12 I assume their leader is this “Burger King.” 1.5801 0.01517 2334 1322 670 342
13 We were so careful. How did they find out? 1.5800 0.02544 831 471 238 122
14 The currency exchange store has to be the one called Starbucks. 1.5789 0.01584 2280 1334 572 374
15 We knew they were litigious- but a food court? 1.5756 0.01914 1515 878 402 235
16 If they know where we are, then they’re more advanced than we thought. 1.5725 0.01304 3303 1935 845 523
17 We found earth. We’ll find Target. 1.5720 0.01517 2355 1358 647 350
18 How do they know we're here? 1.5699 0.02062 1251 717 355 179
19 Cancel the invasion -- they know we are here. 1.5696 0.01632 1919 1081 583 255
20 This is the only place in the galaxy where they have those pretzels I like. 1.5681 0.02196 1035 578 326 131
21 I thought this was a strip mall! 1.5677 0.01718 1973 1185 456 332
22 You guided us for thousands of light-years without getting lost, but you can’t remember which entrance we used? 1.5649 0.01720 1834 1070 492 272
23 Oh, great. All those lightyears traveling here and now Sears is out of business. 1.5646 0.02132 1215 715 314 186
24 Next time we put our clothes in the carry-ons. 1.5637 0.02187 1201 721 283 197
25 Let's start with a store that sell pants. 1.5623 0.01486 2401 1392 668 341
26 Their ability to track us has advanced significantly. 1.5580 0.01568 2061 1179 614 268
27 If I could read a map we wouldn't be here. 1.5534 0.01625 2152 1306 501 345
28 So, this is where earthlings go before they shop online. 1.5524 0.01649 2290 1455 405 430
29 Always the map! Why won't you ask someone? 1.5501 0.01896 1467 865 397 205
30 Admit it—you forgot what level we landed on. 1.5500 0.01535 2178 1269 620 289
31 These earthlings are smarter than we thought, they know exactly where we are! 1.5492 0.01780 1726 1036 432 258
32 Their king of burgers and queen of dairy appear to live in something called the 'Food Court.' 1.5487 0.02581 822 494 205 123
33 We can still get home. I saw a sign "space available" 1.5459 0.01623 2015 1200 530 285
34 Well, I like the sound of Starbucks. 1.5434 0.02150 1095 641 313 141
35 These humans are very clever, they already know where we are 1.5340 0.01788 1631 982 427 222
36 This is all so alien to me. 1.5298 0.02067 1208 729 318 161
37 Should we abduct one now, or wait until they go on sale?" 1.5291 0.01835 1529 923 403 203
38 Now all we need is a map of the galaxies. 1.5268 0.02079 1492 1001 196 295
39 You said this was uncharted territory. 1.5263 0.01810 1446 847 437 162
40 This ingenius mapping device has us spotted already. 1.5250 0.01897 1442 879 369 194
41 Which one of us is you? 1.5248 0.01938 1431 886 339 206
42 I think we can call off our search for intelligent life on Earth. 1.5243 0.02331 969 595 240 134
43 I don't understand why we came all this way just to go to the same stores we have at home. 1.5211 0.02054 1353 865 271 217
44 I thought you said they didn't know we were here. 1.5205 0.01950 1343 819 349 175
45 How do they know that we are here? 1.5199 0.01980 1329 818 331 180
46 I gotta go bad, so which one are we, Men’s or Women? 1.5193 0.02141 1090 660 294 136
47 Dammit, they know where we are 1.5191 0.02014 1312 816 311 185
48 So, on this planet we’re both named ‘Here’? 1.5182 0.02006 1289 794 322 173
49 I didn’t anticipate the ‘no shirts or shoes- no service’ rule! 1.5172 0.02002 1282 788 325 169
50 Seemingly less advanced than us in every way, and yet somehow they were able to predict our precise location at this exact moment. 1.5169 0.02073 1273 804 280 189
51 The men here are trained to sit on benches and watch over bags.” 1.5143 0.02111 1225 776 268 181
52 If these humans need constant reminders where they are, I'm not sure there's much point in asking to see their leader. 1.5103 0.02126 1160 727 274 159
53 They know 1.5096 0.02150 1146 722 264 160
54 Planet Fitness must be around here somewhere. 1.5076 0.02106 1115 685 294 136
55 Act casual. 1.5059 0.02196 1095 693 250 152
56 I say get it. It'll be light years before we're around funnel cake again. 1.5051 0.02184 1085 682 258 145
57 We COULD just ask for directions, dear. 1.5046 0.02175 1076 672 265 139
58 Before we destroy this planet, can I get one last soft pretzel? 1.5033 0.02133 1049 640 290 119
59 This would have really helped when we were in Roswell. 1.5033 0.02188 1057 660 262 135
60 Their tracking system is more sophisticated than I expected. 1.5029 0.02120 1032 623 299 110
61 So, we teach them how to build the Pyramids, leave them alone for 5,000 years and come back to … Sbarro? 1.5015 0.02177 1029 635 272 122
62 They are obviously an intelligent species, they know where we are. 1.5010 0.02190 1026 636 266 124
63 Let’s go to the ‘restroom’. That sounds nice. 1.5005 0.02180 1013 623 273 117
64 No wonder they haven't made it past their own solar system. 1.5005 0.02255 1013 640 239 134
65 So, all this time they knew we were here..?! 1.4995 0.02313 1007 649 213 145
66 Remind me, again. Which restroom do we use? 1.4990 0.02253 1014 642 238 134
67 We came all this way. Of course I want a pretzel. 1.4984 0.02360 919 581 218 120
68 See, I told you. No Radio Shack. 1.4977 0.02319 874 535 243 96
69 They still won’t have a pair of sunglasses that fit. 1.4974 0.02194 979 600 271 108
70 See? I told you if we put on alien masks we could wander around naked! 1.4964 0.02352 961 619 207 135
71 I see the foot locker but we should also grab samples of other body parts for probing too 1.4960 0.02277 1000 638 228 134
72 I told you they were tracking us. 1.4954 0.02127 975 585 297 93
73 A whole universe to consider and yet somehow they know where we are! 1.4954 0.02245 971 606 249 116
74 I have to find out what Victoria's Secret is before we leave this planet 1.4935 0.02325 924 583 226 115
75 What happened to Sears? 1.4911 0.02396 898 576 203 119
76 You’re kidding me. Even we have a Starbucks. 1.4899 0.02385 888 566 209 113
77 We can navigate across galaxies, but we still can never find the bathrooms at the mall. 1.4887 0.02326 882 551 231 100
78 Clothing looks like kind of a big deal. 1.4886 0.02353 874 549 223 102
79 Ugh, the same chain stores that we have. 1.4885 0.02450 872 565 188 119
80 Three galaxies, ten thousand solar systems and you find a mall without a Starbucks! 1.4877 0.02399 857 543 210 104
81 I'm famished. Where's the children's play area? 1.4871 0.02429 856 548 199 109
82 We've come this far; Cinnabon can't be too much further. 1.4871 0.02302 856 526 243 87
83 Remember, we parked on the roof 1.4864 0.02430 845 539 201 105
84 What do you mean, ‘you don’t remember where you parked?! 1.4857 0.02459 842 542 191 109
85 We know that. How do we get back? 1.4850 0.02431 831 528 203 100
86 I’m sure “Star Bucks” would take our money. 1.4848 0.02418 823 519 209 95
87 Their civilization is still at the hunter-gatherer-shopper stage 1.4836 0.02352 825 511 229 85
88 How does it know? 1.4827 0.02495 808 520 186 102
89 But more importantly, where did we park? 1.4817 0.02449 820 524 197 99
90 Seriously. We need to find a restroom. I have to go number 3 real bad! 1.4806 0.02626 801 537 143 121
91 Wait- what happened to Sears? 1.4804 0.02449 789 498 203 88
92 How does it know where we are when we don't know where we are? 1.4803 0.02504 785 503 187 95
93 Bed, Bath, and BEYOND!? 1.4803 0.02524 785 506 181 98
94 5 million light years and of course now you stop for directions. 1.4797 0.02512 790 509 183 98
95 I guess they were expecting us. 1.4795 0.02457 780 492 202 86
96 No. You said you were going to remember where we parked. 1.4789 0.02501 781 500 188 93
97 They're far more advanced than we'd thought. They know exactly where we are! 1.4788 0.02569 777 507 168 102
98 After listening to you go on about it for 700 light years, this Sbarro place better be good. 1.4783 0.02405 782 487 216 79
99 Who keeps a foot in a locker? 1.4782 0.02470 780 495 197 88
100 ‘First we look for pants. Then lunch. ‘ 1.4772 0.02448 769 483 205 81
101 We were so careful. How did they know? 1.4767 0.02505 751 476 192 83
102 remember, if anyone asks we identify as humans 1.4759 0.02580 746 483 171 92
103 Okay, what's our pronoun? 1.4750 0.02556 739 474 179 86
104 Are you sure they do free shipping? 1.4733 0.02584 731 472 172 87
105 Clothes first or sunglasses? 1.4730 0.02474 721 449 203 69
106 Have you noticed no one else is walking around naked? 1.4728 0.02532 734 468 185 81
107 So this is Earth’s ‘advanced’ navigation technology? No wonder they haven’t visited us yet! 1.4712 0.02533 713 451 188 74
108 I think they've found us. 1.4706 0.02522 714 451 190 73
109 Let's get a pretzel before destroying this place. 1.4701 0.02481 702 436 202 64
110 You forgot where you parked the ship again, didn’t you? 1.4698 0.02578 696 443 179 74
111 Hey, look at that. We're at Planet Fitness! 1.4698 0.02657 696 453 159 84
112 They're already on to us. 1.4680 0.02550 688 434 186 68
113 Never heard of Planet Fitness before. 1.4676 0.03316 447 292 101 54
114 How did they know we’d be here? 1.4675 0.02658 676 437 162 77
115 If their technology is so primitive, how do they know we’re here?! 1.4670 0.02676 681 444 156 81
116 They think you can only be one place at a time. 1.4670 0.02585 696 446 175 75
117 So, where do you think they sell skinny jeans? 1.4665 0.02647 671 432 165 74
118 Should we tell them that we also are here? 1.4664 0.02636 669 429 168 72
119 YOU ARE HERE.” Now, how is that helpful? How do we get back home 1.4663 0.02624 682 439 168 75
120 Huh — I guess you were right, Glarg — the food court is the center of their universe . . . 1.4656 0.02622 668 427 171 70
121 Focus! We must determine what secret that Victoria is hiding from us. 1.4653 0.02613 677 434 171 72
122 We seem so insignificant when they put it that way. 1.4634 0.02576 656 413 182 61
123 It seems we have been discovered. 1.4625 0.02622 640 405 174 61
124 They know that we're here! 1.4623 0.02751 664 441 139 84
125 So where do we go to phone home? 1.4607 0.02613 649 413 173 63
126 And I thought navigating around a black hole was bad. 1.4592 0.02692 638 413 157 68
127 Do I look like I have a credit card on me? 1.4572 0.02759 608 395 148 65
128 We parked our ship on Level 2 Section 4. No, we parked on Level 4, Section 2. 1.4572 0.02709 608 390 158 60
129 For a primitive locating device, it appears to be quite accurate. 1.4572 0.02584 643 407 178 58
130 If we limit our exploring to Walmart, no earthlings will notice us. 1.4544 0.02833 625 420 126 79
131 Well, so much for our surprise invasion. 1.4536 0.02827 582 381 138 63
132 At least THEY know where we are... 1.4530 0.02696 627 408 154 65
133 You were correct. There is no intelligent life on this planet. 1.4527 0.02804 603 398 137 68
134 Fine, you can get an Orange Julius, but I'm not stopping at every planet on the way home! 1.4526 0.02821 612 408 131 73
135 I've never worn a dress, but suddenly I really want one. 1.4526 0.02830 601 399 132 70
136 This "You" is always one step ahead of us! 1.4517 0.02875 580 385 128 67
137 Travel all this way just to find out that these malls sell the same stuff we have back home. 1.4514 0.02840 587 388 133 66
138 I’d say clothes first, if we want to start to blend in. Then we can get Starbucks 1.4491 0.02805 579 379 140 60
139 How on earth do they know that? 1.4486 0.02948 555 371 119 65
140 What do you mean, "You don't remember where you parked the ship"?! 1.4479 0.02889 576 385 124 67
141 We’ve passed the food court 3 times already-could we just ask for directions? 1.4475 0.02756 590 385 146 59
142 Great, another dream where I go to the mall naked 1.4455 0.02945 550 368 119 63
143 What do you mean you don’t remember where we parked?! 1.4453 0.02989 539 362 114 63
144 We may have landed at the wrong Target. 1.4452 0.02934 575 390 114 71
145 Oh, there it is..."Space for Rent". 1.4449 0.02934 544 362 122 60
146 Hmmm. I've never heard of a Planet called Fitness. 1.4442 0.02982 538 361 115 62
147 Yes, we are here! They're onto us!!! 1.4439 0.02835 570 377 133 60
148 Why is the bathroom always so hard to find? 1.4434 0.02810 539 348 143 48
149 The real question is do you remember where we parked? 1.4421 0.02954 518 342 123 53
150 Great. They know where we are. 1.4420 0.02843 543 355 136 52
151 I say we start with pants. 1.4416 0.02822 539 350 140 49
152 I thought you said they can't see us. 1.4410 0.02958 517 342 122 53
153 It appears that the Earthlings have tracked us to our exact location. 1.4404 0.03057 520 353 105 62
154 You'd think after crossing billions of galaxies we could find the food court. 1.4398 0.02881 507 328 135 44
155 So much for a sneak attack—they know we are here. 1.4387 0.03047 522 355 105 62
156 Only you could get us lost in retail space. 1.4380 0.02922 500 326 129 45
157 It’s been a few years but I could swear that Radio Shack was right next to Sears. 1.4365 0.03098 488 329 105 54
158 They have men's clothing and women's clothing. Which are we? 1.4358 0.03001 491 325 118 48
159 Inner space is more confusing than outer space." 1.4333 0.02948 480 313 126 41
160 Where else could we be? 1.4327 0.03022 483 321 115 47
161 These species clearly have a strong grasp of the obvious. 1.4327 0.03140 490 336 96 58
162 Humans believe in a Hell, and now I know why. 1.4313 0.03111 473 319 104 50
163 There’s no way they could build something this complicated on their own… 1.4310 0.03076 471 315 109 47
164 They know we're here! 1.4307 0.03194 462 315 95 52
165 How did they find out? 1.4307 0.03024 476 316 115 45
166 There's no sign of intelligent life. 1.4306 0.03080 497 339 102 56
167 200,000 light years and NOW you look at a map. 1.4292 0.03245 466 323 86 57
168 How does it know where we are? 1.4283 0.02942 474 310 125 39
169 Their king... sells burgers? 1.4277 0.03153 484 334 93 57
170 We traversed the galaxy and the Cinnabon is closed? 1.4275 0.02995 510 346 110 54
171 ...but in what dimension did we park the saucer? 1.4257 0.02996 444 289 121 34
172 All this way and we need an appointment for the Apple Store? 1.4244 0.03233 476 334 82 60
173 You know the shipping cost is going to kill us. 1.4226 0.03133 433 289 105 39
174 After looking at this, our plans for world domination seem so inconsequential. 1.4215 0.03068 446 297 110 39
175 "Pants! How hard can this be?" 1.4208 0.03136 442 298 102 42
176 Yes, it will still say 'You Are Here,' even when we're not. 1.4207 0.03255 435 299 89 47
177 We built them the pyramids, and they built us this? 1.4203 0.03166 433 292 100 41
178 Are you sure Buzz Lightyear said 'To Bed, Bath and Beyond'? 1.4190 0.03254 432 297 89 46
179 New galaxy, same retail. 1.4185 0.03123 466 320 97 49
180 Let’s go pick up an iPhone. That way we’ll blend in. 1.4171 0.03258 422 289 90 43
181 On this planet my name is 'Here'" 1.4167 0.03338 420 292 81 47
182 They must be smarter than we think, they know where we are. 1.4161 0.03129 423 283 104 36
183 Do you have any idea how many of their damned places are named "Here" 1.4153 0.03257 419 287 90 42
184 Oh no! They know our location! 1.4152 0.03234 407 275 95 37
185 Where is the genitalia store? 1.4148 0.03338 405 279 84 42
186 So it looks like Area 51 is right next to the Sharper Image on the top level. 1.4139 0.03187 447 309 91 47
187 I told you they were watching us! 1.4137 0.03309 394 268 89 37
188 There’s no Sunglass Hut? 1.4136 0.03042 440 294 110 36
189 I think they're onto us. 1.4135 0.03051 445 299 108 38
190 I think we should buy clothes. 1.4127 0.03036 441 295 110 36
191 We traveled five million light years and you didn’t think to check if they even have a Macy’s?!? 1.4123 0.03148 405 270 103 32
192 How do they know we are here when they don’t even believe we exist? 1.4122 0.03307 410 283 85 42
193 You can navigate the cosmos but you can’t find Pier 1? 1.4119 0.03159 403 269 102 32
194 It's like they knew we were coming 1.4113 0.03298 389 264 90 35
195 First, the dollar store. We need money. 1.4112 0.03300 411 284 85 42
196 I saw one of them naked. Trust me, they buy clothes for a reason. 1.4101 0.03414 434 313 64 57
197 I can see why they never found us. 1.4100 0.03288 422 294 83 45
198 It knows where we are. Run! 1.4099 0.03355 383 262 85 36
199 We promised the kids a t-shirt. 1.4098 0.03157 410 276 100 34
200 Let's get some pants and get out of here. 1.4086 0.03364 394 273 81 40
201 Which bathroom do we use? 1.4084 0.03360 382 261 84 36
202 Wait, we went BACK in time? 1.4082 0.03177 392 262 100 30
203 I don't think there's intelligent life here. 1.4079 0.03358 407 285 78 44
204 They don’t even know where they are — how are they going to know where their leader is?! 1.4077 0.03192 417 285 94 38
205 Yes we are. 1.4075 0.03231 400 272 93 35
206 Commander said the freshly baked cinnamon roll scent would lure us into a trap, but I say screw it, we gotta get one. 1.4075 0.03307 400 276 85 39
207 Humans build bears? 1.4074 0.03385 378 260 82 36
208 We came halfway across the galaxy without using GPS, I don’t see why you think we need to start now 1.4054 0.03436 370 256 78 36
209 I told you that wormhole would take us to Bed, Bath AND Beyond. 1.4051 0.03425 390 274 74 42
210 It appears their leader is a man named Cinnabon. 1.4048 0.03519 373 263 69 41
211 No RadioShack? What are we supposed to eat now? 1.4047 0.03371 383 265 81 37
212 I don’t care how good they are, I still think it’s a long way to come for a pretzel. 1.4042 0.03301 381 260 88 33
213 So is Macy their leader? 1.4041 0.03261 391 267 90 34
214 Just tell them you’re from France 1.4038 0.03432 364 251 79 34
215 Why on Earth won't you ever ask for directions? 1.4016 0.03460 366 255 75 36
216 Maybe we should’ve checked to see if Orange Julius is still a thing before traveling 10,000 lightyears. 1.4011 0.03455 379 267 72 40
217 Couldn’t stop to ask directions, could you! 1.4005 0.03061 397 264 107 26
218 See. They know we're here. 1.4000 0.03389 360 247 82 31
219 So those weren't the restrooms, and that wasn't the food court. 1.4000 0.03682 385 285 46 54
220 There's no intelligent life here. 1.3995 0.03255 388 266 89 33
221 Nine star maps, 13 thousand light years and you're thrown by the last six hundred feet? 1.3994 0.03492 358 250 73 35
222 Please tell me you remember where we parked the saucer. 1.3994 0.03378 358 245 83 30
223 Gerald, I SAID we parked at Area 51, not Forever 21 1.3989 0.03335 361 246 86 29
224 I used to abduct people here all the time. I guess they're all shopping online now. 1.3984 0.03180 379 255 97 27
225 The chef says plumpest ones are always at the food court. 1.3979 0.03393 382 268 76 38
226 Getting to Earth was the easy part. 1.3971 0.03417 345 236 81 28
227 They know we're here. Now what do we do? 1.3966 0.03579 358 255 64 39
228 It looked a lot rounder from space. 1.3959 0.03519 341 237 73 31
229 Humans have an entire Republic of Bananas? 1.3959 0.03419 341 233 81 27
230 It looks like they've confirmed we're real. 1.3958 0.03276 384 265 86 33
231 It just makes you feel so tiny and insignificant. 1.3954 0.03600 349 248 64 37
232 How did they know we were coming? 1.3947 0.03309 375 259 84 32
233 If I am there, how could I be here? 1.3944 0.03384 360 249 80 31
234 We should have just ordered the sneakers on-line. 1.3941 0.03321 373 258 83 32
235 I want to feel cute but comfortable for this invasion. 1.3934 0.03677 333 237 61 35
236 Our orders are to kill the mall, but it seems to be dying already! 1.3933 0.03363 356 245 82 29
237 So where's the room that dresses you? 1.3927 0.03328 331 222 88 21
238 Ugh, this is the last time I party with you and wake up naked in some suburban Earth mall. 1.3922 0.03765 334 242 53 39
239 ok, so where did we park?" 1.3913 0.03461 345 240 75 30
240 This is not the time to act as a male human; look for directions! 1.3912 0.03338 363 251 82 30
241 I don't think Orange Julius is a person. 1.3909 0.03441 330 226 79 25
242 No clue, my phone died, so I said 'find outlet.' " 1.3908 0.03415 348 244 74 30
243 **deep sighs** I just need to pee… 1.3907 0.03499 343 240 72 31
244 Everything smells like cinnamon and despair. 1.3902 0.03404 346 239 79 28
245 This once was the center of their universe. 1.3894 0.03427 339 234 78 27
246 Why are we here? 1.3892 0.03640 334 238 62 34
247 How do you think they know we are here? 1.3892 0.03550 352 251 65 36
248 Of course we're "here." Where else would we be? 1.3887 0.03659 319 225 64 30
249 Pretty soon we'll have to do all of our abducting online. 1.3881 0.03680 335 241 58 36
250 Let us find the factory where they manufacture cheesecake 1.3876 0.03583 338 240 65 33
251 It's that dream again. Waking up naked in public. 1.3874 0.03597 333 236 65 32
252 I agree clothes are a priority, but there's also a Cinnabon. 1.3874 0.03306 364 252 83 29
253 I don't want to be here. I want to be there. 1.3873 0.03327 346 237 84 25
254 I can't believe that Blockbuster has disappeared. 1.3871 0.03386 341 235 80 26
255 They seem to know our coordinates. 1.3870 0.03274 354 242 87 25
256 Wherever you go, there you are. 1.3866 0.03567 313 217 71 25
257 They're tracking system is better than ours 1.3855 0.03368 332 227 82 23
258 Let's go to Spirit Halloween,no stares over there 1.3853 0.03538 327 229 70 28
259 You know that dream where you’re naked..? 1.3853 0.03467 340 238 73 29
260 Radio Shack is gone forever?! How will we get home? 1.3851 0.03577 322 226 68 28
261 I guess we'll have to call off the invasion. These humans seem to know our every move! 1.3840 0.03177 349 235 94 20
262 Turn left at Ursa Minor, you said. We'll discover something cool, you said." 1.3839 0.03570 336 239 65 32
263 I didn't expect so much empty space. 1.3834 0.03408 326 224 79 23
264 Well, I guess they know we're here. Now what? 1.3833 0.03442 360 256 70 34
265 This helps me understand why they haven’t visited us yet. 1.3831 0.03454 308 210 78 20
266 Big and Tall" is not for us. Look for "Anorexic and Macrocephalic" 1.3824 0.03490 353 252 67 34
267 Tell me, how could they foretell exactly where we'd be at this moment! 1.3814 0.03616 333 239 61 33
268 How did Sephora get here before us? 1.3805 0.03604 318 225 65 28
269 Why waste anymore time, I told you we could get it cheaper on line? 1.3804 0.03541 326 230 68 28
270 Looks like we may have misinterpreted the word “target”. 1.3802 0.03657 334 242 57 35
271 This is more confusing than their solar system. 1.3799 0.03621 329 236 61 32
272 I see Forever 21, but where is Area 51? 1.3793 0.03567 319 225 67 27
273 Look! They know where we are! 1.3789 0.03571 322 228 66 28
274 They’re onto us, Blork. 1.3785 0.03665 317 227 60 30
275 Remember, we're looking for Area 51, not Forever 21. 1.3774 0.03639 310 220 63 27
276 "Secret mission," they said. "Blend in," they said. 1.3754 0.03976 309 232 38 39
277 I don't see one for gender neutral 1.3754 0.03607 317 226 63 28
278 Let’s just go home and I’ll order it on line. 1.3746 0.03710 291 206 61 24
279 It appears to be uninhabited. 1.3742 0.03542 318 225 67 26
280 All the way from Alpha Centauri and now you need a map to find Starbucks? 1.3741 0.03714 294 209 60 25
281 All this way and Sears is gone?! 1.3738 0.03495 313 219 71 23
282 No sign of intelligent life 1.3738 0.03736 305 220 56 29
283 Uh oh! They know we are here. 1.3738 0.03497 305 212 72 21
284 Now we know why E.T. came home. 1.3731 0.03617 335 244 57 34
285 They know our location! 1.3730 0.03568 311 220 66 25
286 Remember what happened the last time you wouldn’t stop and get directions? 1.3730 0.03654 311 223 60 28
287 Which restroom do we use? 1.3729 0.03723 303 218 57 28
288 Well that's a start. Now see if it can show us where we left our spaceship. 1.3729 0.03694 303 217 59 27
289 I wish they hadn't closed UFO Schwartz. 1.3728 0.03362 346 244 75 27
290 Clothes Encounters?" Funny 1.3728 0.03712 287 203 61 23
291 But WHY are we here? 1.3727 0.03671 322 234 56 32
292 What's the point of going on vacation if it's all the same chain stores we have at home? 1.3724 0.03874 290 211 50 29
293 Still no signs of intelligent life. 1.3721 0.03857 301 221 48 32
294 Blend in? If that was your goal, why aren't we shopping online like most intelligent life forms? 1.3718 0.03559 312 221 66 25
295 How creepy is that. They cast shadows.... 1.3717 0.03624 304 216 63 25
296 Wrong, we are everywhere! 1.3715 0.03766 288 206 57 25
297 So NOW you're willing to look at a map? 1.3707 0.03597 321 231 61 29
298 But, it doesn't answer why are we here. 1.3705 0.03732 305 221 55 29
299 We should just go home. There are no signs of intelligent life here. 1.3704 0.03805 297 216 52 29
300 No wonder it’s gone…too much Bed & Bath and not enough Beyond. 1.3704 0.03652 297 211 62 24
301 Oh, wow. They closed Penny's. 1.3696 0.03660 303 217 60 26
302 I can’t believe we came all the way to Earth for store pick up just so you could save on shipping 1.3696 0.03749 303 220 54 29
303 I can't hold it that much longer 1.3696 0.03587 322 232 61 29
304 I want to grab a neck pillow for the flight home. 1.3693 0.03505 287 198 72 17
305 Admit it, you have no idea near which exit we parked the spaceship. 1.3692 0.03850 279 201 53 25
306 Well, no signs of intelligent life here. 1.3690 0.03870 290 212 49 29
307 WELL, DUH. 1.3690 0.03808 290 210 53 27
308 I have no idea where we parked. 1.3681 0.03664 288 204 62 22
309 How did they even know we were coming? 1.3677 0.03670 291 207 61 23
310 Looks like our cover is blown. 1.3675 0.03709 283 201 60 22
311 Find a clothing store--they won't notice us if we wear pants. 1.3673 0.03706 294 211 58 25
312 You better go now. The next restroom is three light years away. 1.3671 0.03578 316 227 62 27
313 Would it kill you to just ask for directions? 1.3670 0.03648 297 212 61 24
314 See, Glaknor? They must be intelligent. They already know we're here! 1.3662 0.03698 284 202 60 22
315 Banana Republic is either the smoothie place or where we register to vote. 1.3660 0.04098 265 196 41 28
316 Wrong Target. 1.3658 0.03638 298 213 61 24
317 I told you we should have shopped local. 1.3656 0.03709 279 198 60 21
318 I told you, they have cameras everywhere. 1.3653 0.03638 271 189 65 17
319 Look what happened to our planet while we were away. 1.3647 0.03759 266 188 59 19
320 It looks like the Arcade is gone. Where in the world are we going to play Space Invaders? 1.3643 0.03628 280 197 64 19
321 You navigated 30,000 light years to get to this planet and now can't find a restroom 500 yards away? 1.3642 0.03722 302 220 54 28
322 We were lost, five billion light-years from home. Now we know where we are. 1.3642 0.03662 302 218 58 26
323 We found the planet, how hard could this be? 1.3636 0.03418 297 206 74 17
324 Where on earth are we?” 1.3633 0.03680 278 197 61 20
325 Where is here? Who is you? 1.3630 0.03843 292 215 48 29
326 They must have expected us! 1.3627 0.03826 284 207 51 26
327 It looks like we can exchange our money at that place called Starbucks. 1.3627 0.03858 284 208 49 27
328 there appears to be no sign of intelligent life 1.3620 0.03841 279 203 51 25
329 How do they know where we are when we don't even know that? 1.3619 0.03883 268 194 51 23
330 So, there really is a "hell on Earth." 1.3619 0.04039 257 188 45 24
331 Nope, no Radio Shack here, either. 1.3618 0.03552 304 217 64 23
332 Why can't you ever ask for directions? 1.3618 0.03708 293 212 56 25
333 I’m feeling ready for a Clothes Encounter. 1.3616 0.03816 271 195 54 22
334 Are you sure there isn't a dress code in here?" 1.3613 0.03591 310 224 60 26
335 If we want to ever get back home we're going to need a larger scale map. 1.3607 0.03481 305 216 68 21
336 We traveled 78 light years and you forgot the discount coupon?! 1.3604 0.03722 308 227 51 30
337 Oh no, they know we're here! 1.3603 0.03840 272 197 52 23
338 Let's eat some humans in the food court. 1.3602 0.03918 261 189 50 22
339 We're looking for Planet Fitness. 1.3600 0.03810 275 199 53 23
340 I wish you'd just ask for directions to their leader. 1.3594 0.03751 281 203 55 23
341 It appears earthlings have to be told where they are. 1.3589 0.03694 287 207 57 23
342 Forget it. I don't think THEY can find their leader. 1.3584 0.03735 293 214 53 26
343 Wow! How did they know THAT? 1.3584 0.03640 293 211 59 23
344 Are you sure they understood the pyramid instructions we left? 1.3583 0.04069 254 187 43 24
345 No - clothes first, then Cinnabon. 1.3582 0.03773 282 205 53 24
346 Sarcastic existentialism, maybe I underestimated this species. 1.3580 0.04072 257 190 42 25
347 Let's carry bags so we blend in. 1.3576 0.03550 288 204 65 19
348 Apparently their leader is named Macy. 1.3571 0.03500 294 208 67 19
349 All I really need are sensible shoes . 1.3569 0.03682 269 191 60 18
350 No signs of sentient life here. 1.3566 0.03789 258 184 56 18
351 FIRST, we secure immortality at Forever 21. THEN, we find out Victoria's secret. 1.3564 0.03839 275 201 50 24
352 See? No matter what galaxy we're in, Wetzel's Pretzels will always be next to Cinnabon. 1.3563 0.03874 261 189 51 21
353 I swear there was an Orange Julius last time I was here. 1.3561 0.03809 278 203 51 24
354 So they're watching us. 1.3561 0.03775 278 202 53 23
355 If you've seen one of Earth's indoor shopping centers, you've seen a mall. 1.3557 0.04000 253 185 46 22
356 No bookstore. Now I understand. 1.3557 0.03656 298 217 56 25
357 Yes, but WHY are we here? 1.3555 0.03887 256 185 51 20
358 Mercury will freeze over, before I’m going to wear anything you buy me from Victoria’s Secret 1.3553 0.03927 273 202 45 26
359 Lands End, LensCrafters, Lids, LoveSac, Lulu Lemon... nope, no "Leader". I guess we'll have to ask one of "them" to take us. 1.3546 0.04099 251 186 41 24
360 Well…in reality, we’re everywhere all the time all at once. 1.3545 0.03763 268 193 55 20
361 It seems their leaders are Dairy Queen and Smoothie King and they rule from Food Court. 1.3541 0.03991 257 189 45 23
362 What’s a here? 1.3539 0.04031 243 177 46 20
363 Are we there yet? 1.3534 0.03819 266 193 52 21
364 Yeah, but where's the no-sex bathroom? 1.3534 0.03724 283 206 54 23
365 Take us to your Nordstrom. 1.3529 0.03814 255 183 54 18
366 No sign of intelligent life anywhere. 1.3529 0.03765 289 213 50 26
367 No matter where we go it's the same chain stores as home. 1.3527 0.03901 258 188 49 21
368 Of course we are! 1.3527 0.03743 258 184 57 17
369 Okay, so if we just keep left and go down those stairs, we will find beds, baths and apparently, the beyond? 1.3527 0.03823 258 186 53 19
370 We can find Earth, but not the food court. 1.3523 0.04230 264 203 29 32
371 look, they have starbucks too. 1.3516 0.03711 273 197 56 20
372 The pyramids weren't this hard. 1.3516 0.03761 256 183 56 17
373 So where’s the species neutral bathrooms? 1.3514 0.03646 276 198 59 19
374 How did they know? 1.3514 0.03437 313 225 66 22
375 Don't forget where you parked 1.3508 0.03669 248 174 61 13
376 This doesn’t qualify as asking for directions. 1.3504 0.03697 254 180 59 15
377 This is harder to figure out than getting to earth was. 1.3504 0.04019 254 188 43 23
378 See if you can find a clothing store. 1.3497 0.03486 286 203 66 17
379 I don’t think this is what they meant by “storm the National Mall.” 1.3494 0.03872 249 180 51 18
380 Shopping online is easier. 1.3491 0.03794 275 202 50 23
381 Let’s be really cautious when we approach The Gap. 1.3491 0.03388 275 191 72 12
382 I told you we should’ve ordered online! 1.3490 0.04006 255 189 43 23
383 It says “You are here.” How do they know? 1.3490 0.03678 298 220 52 26
384 Seriously, the last time we were here there was a Barnes and Noble. 1.3489 0.03765 278 204 51 23
385 So this is what it was like before Amazon? 1.3485 0.03917 241 174 50 17
386 Suddenly, I feel naked. 1.3485 0.03639 264 188 60 16
387 Small world. 1.3484 0.03926 244 177 49 18
388 I know this is where I am! 1.3482 0.04017 247 182 44 21
389 We're not in Kanxax anymore. 1.3480 0.03818 250 180 53 17
390 Lunch, nails and a facial. Then straight home. 1.3478 0.03712 276 201 54 21
391 It's been a while ... no more record stores? 1.3476 0.03915 233 167 51 15
392 All of a sudden, I feel completely lost. 1.3475 0.03880 236 169 52 15
393 Are you sure you’re ready for a clothes encounter? 1.3465 0.03974 254 188 44 22
394 Do you think they’ll recognize us if we swing through the food court and try to get a second sample of orange chicken? 1.3463 0.03902 257 189 47 21
395 This can’t be right. I thought that Amazon guy we sent down got rid of these? 1.3462 0.04085 234 172 43 19
396 And they think our crop circles are hard to read? 1.3456 0.03562 272 194 62 16
397 They must have really ugly bodies if their mall is so full of clothes." 1.3455 0.03983 246 181 45 20
398 I don't care how far away it is, you have to use the bathroom before we get back on the ship. 1.3454 0.03908 249 182 48 19
399 I can’t believe we made it to earth without a map but are so lost at this mall. 1.3450 0.03957 229 165 49 15
400 The bathrooms are only for Females and Males. What should we do? I can't wait much longer. 1.3446 0.03795 267 196 50 21
401 Do you see a restaurant where we can Eat Locals? 1.3439 0.03780 253 183 53 17
402 I asked you to remember where we parked. 1.3436 0.03877 259 191 47 21
403 I TOLD you “mall, Washington DC, Earth” was too vague for the ship’s navigation system! 1.3436 0.03838 259 190 49 20
404 So there really is life on malls. 1.3436 0.04123 227 167 42 18
405 Great, we landed at the JC Penny side… 1.3433 0.04092 233 172 42 19
406 Just find the damned Genius Bar, unlock our hyperdrive password, and get us the hell out of here! 1.3432 0.03680 271 197 55 19
407 What are all these stores that say, “clothing”? 1.3431 0.03840 239 172 52 15
408 Forever 21, are you sure? I swear their leader said to meet at "Area 21" or something like that. 1.3430 0.04026 242 179 43 20
409 OMG, they know we’re here! 1.3427 0.03956 248 183 45 20
410 As long as we’re just waiting for the planetary invasion order, I sure could go for a pretzel. 1.3421 0.03764 266 195 51 20
411 Let’s go to Williams Sonoma, I heard they have great saucers 1.3420 0.04069 231 170 43 18
412 We traveled light years and they need a map for this? 1.3419 0.03940 234 170 48 16
413 Face it, there’s no intelligent life here. 1.3417 0.04048 240 178 42 20
414 Glad to see there's a Starbucks here too. It's been a long ride. 1.3415 0.03806 246 178 52 16
415 A mall? For what year did you set the time machine? 1.3411 0.03684 258 186 56 16
416 I'm concerned we're making too many impulse abductions. 1.3407 0.04131 226 167 41 18
417 Should we get our ears pierced? 1.3404 0.03880 235 170 50 15
418 It's only 2 dimensional 1.3404 0.03880 235 170 50 15
419 Try zooming out. 1.3402 0.03675 241 171 58 12
420 So how much did you say we are saving on shipping? 1.3402 0.03998 244 181 43 20
421 Now try to remember where we parked. 1.3397 0.03762 262 192 51 19
422 Anyplace it says 'leader'? 1.3394 0.03942 221 159 49 13
423 But where is the restroom we can use? 1.3392 0.04162 227 169 39 19
424 Perhaps we should phone home. 1.3391 0.03886 230 166 50 14
425 Great. Now we're *really* lost! 1.3391 0.03852 233 168 51 14
426 Don’t we want their new navy? 1.3391 0.03947 233 170 47 16
427 ALF said we must try Cinnabon 1.3389 0.03878 239 174 49 16
428 Our cover is blown. 1.3388 0.03856 245 179 49 17
429 If we put on our N95 masks nobody will pay attention to us. 1.3379 0.04119 219 161 42 16
430 This place is not worth the trip anymore without the RadioShack. 1.3378 0.04227 222 166 37 19
431 Human anatomy vexes me 1.3378 0.03736 225 159 56 10
432 I don't want to be here either, but nobody will deliver to us. 1.3378 0.04280 225 170 34 21
433 Yes! This is the black hole we have been seeking. 1.3377 0.03774 231 165 54 12
434 Okay, fine. We're here. But where is here? 1.3376 0.03758 237 170 54 13
435 Are there any other sunglass stores we can try?" 1.3376 0.03898 237 173 48 16
436 Now we must finally locate the source of that cinnamon smell that has reached our galaxy. 1.3375 0.03819 240 174 51 15
437 The straight lines are probably canals, so there must be water somewhere. 1.3371 0.03746 267 197 50 20
438 Spencers? Oh dear god, we’ve landed in the 90’s! 1.3362 0.03906 232 169 48 15
439 It's saying we're not there yet. 1.3358 0.03771 268 199 48 21
440 Too much ozempic. Now I need a whole new wardrobe. 1.3349 0.04007 215 156 46 13
441 Great. I've been wondering where we are. 1.3348 0.03949 224 163 47 14
442 I wonder what kind of rulings they make at the food court? 1.3348 0.03878 230 167 49 14
443 Where can we buy pants? Uranus is showing. 1.3347 0.03951 236 174 45 17
444 See? I told you we’re here. 1.3347 0.03785 251 184 50 17
445 They have no idea what it's like to be really lost, do they? 1.3333 0.04092 228 170 40 18
446 How did they know we were here? 1.3333 0.03644 252 182 56 14
447 Doesn’t help much, does it? 1.3333 0.04045 228 169 42 17
448 We're here, not there. 1.3320 0.03572 250 179 59 12
449 and they think our crop circles are hard to decipher? 1.3319 0.04099 238 180 37 21
450 Now I understand why WE had to find THEM. 1.3319 0.04039 232 173 41 18
451 Did you lock the saucer? 1.3319 0.03933 229 168 46 15
452 What did Lord Bezos want us to obliterate again? 1.3319 0.04123 229 172 38 19
453 So you’re FINALLY going to ask directions?! 1.3318 0.04106 223 166 40 17
454 What happened to Radio Shack? 1.3318 0.04095 220 163 41 16
455 Just one Cinnabon and then we're back on our way. 1.3306 0.03647 242 174 56 12
456 Are you sure the wormhole's even on this floor? 1.3303 0.04079 221 164 41 16
457 In ancient temples like these people used to worship a god named Abercrombie. 1.3303 0.03872 221 160 49 12
458 I thought you said there was a Cinnabon here? 1.3303 0.03961 218 159 46 13
459 Oh for fuck’s sake Stuart, why can’t you just ask for directions? 1.3301 0.04340 206 155 34 17
460 Three floors of these and I still don’t know where “here” is. 1.3292 0.03726 243 177 52 14
461 They don't have my size, and they won't accept plutonium. 1.3291 0.03870 234 172 47 15
462 Ever have one of those dreams when you're standing in a mall naked? 1.3289 0.03890 228 167 47 14
463 They're technology is so advanced! They've been tracking us this whole time! 1.3289 0.03940 228 168 45 15
464 We’re finally here. 1.3288 0.04063 222 165 41 16
465 Commander said to respond with ‘we are Gen-Z,’ in the case of questions. 1.3288 0.03910 222 162 47 13
466 How does the sign know where we are? 1.3287 0.04036 216 159 43 14
467 So much for the element of surprise." 1.3278 0.03698 241 175 53 13
468 There's nobody here. Did someone else already abduct them all? 1.3277 0.03869 238 176 46 16
469 How in heck do they know where we are? 1.3276 0.03842 232 170 48 14
470 That one says "Space for rent." Just what we've been looking for! 1.3274 0.03997 223 165 43 15
471 How stupid can humans be that they need a sign telling them where they are? 1.3273 0.04236 220 167 34 19
472 This is very confusing. I told you that we should have just ordered from Amazon. 1.3272 0.04073 217 161 41 15
473 I really didn't think they'd be so serious about, "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service". 1.3272 0.04125 217 162 39 16
474 Do they have unisex restrooms ? 1.3270 0.03930 211 153 47 11
475 You’re telling me we travelled 10 million light years, and The Sharper Image doesn’t even exist anymore? 1.3269 0.04083 208 153 42 13
476 Maybe we should just go home. 1.3264 0.03911 242 181 43 18
477 It looks like we are dangerously close to a black hole. 1.3263 0.03935 236 176 43 17
478 What happened to Ruby Tuesday’s? 1.3263 0.03842 236 174 47 15
479 Don’t worry. Just act supernatural. 1.3262 0.03828 233 171 48 14
480 Would it kill them to etch this into a cornfield? 1.3257 0.04211 218 165 35 18
481 Of all the malls in the Universe, we land on the one without a food court. 1.3257 0.04211 218 165 35 18
482 I told you we should have just bought it on Amazon like everyone else does. 1.3256 0.04253 215 163 34 18
483 Have you noticed it's the same brands no matter where you go? 1.3255 0.04296 212 161 33 18
484 Relax, they still have no idea WHY we’re here 1.3252 0.04439 206 158 29 19
485 I heard they have a RadioShack here. 1.3247 0.03595 231 165 57 9
486 What are you going to say when they ask you for your credit card? 1.3244 0.03917 225 166 45 14
487 How did they find Mom’s DNA pattern? 1.3243 0.03953 222 164 44 14
488 I flew us 14 light years with no problems but I have no idea how to find a bathroom here 1.3243 0.03848 222 162 48 12
489 We didn't travel 20 million lightyears NOT to try the "ice cream of the future." 1.3242 0.03989 219 162 43 14
490 Clothes Encounters 1.3241 0.03869 253 191 42 20
491 I want to go find out this secret that Victoria is keeping. 1.3241 0.03919 216 158 46 12
492 Pants or shoes first? 1.3239 0.03893 247 186 42 19
493 Aha! There’s our Target! 1.3238 0.03993 210 154 44 12
494 Join the Galaxy Patrol, you said. See the universe, it'll be exciting, you said...... 1.3238 0.04050 210 155 42 13
495 See if you can find "Forever 51." 1.3237 0.03737 241 177 50 14
496 Oops, this is only Area 50. 1.3235 0.03768 238 175 49 14
497 It’s harder to read than our map of the universe. 1.3223 0.04144 211 158 38 15
498 OH come on, we traveled 2000000 light years to get AWAY from Starbucks 1.3223 0.04198 211 159 36 16
499 We’ve gone from helping them build pyramids to this. 1.3217 0.04092 230 175 36 19
500 So, this really is a prison planet. 1.3216 0.04012 199 145 44 10
501 Starbucks sound promising. 1.3216 0.03887 227 168 45 14
502 We’re on the wrong planet, you idiot. 1.3216 0.04083 227 172 37 18
503 Oh God! Judy, I TOLD you this was the wrong planet! 1.3213 0.03906 221 163 45 13
504 I didn't expect to find everything in the universe under one roof. 1.3208 0.04072 212 158 40 14
505 It’s Florida, don’t worry we’ll fit right in 1.3206 0.04223 209 158 35 16
506 No GAP? 1.3202 0.04020 228 172 39 17
507 And here I thought our presence was a secret. 1.3200 0.04057 225 170 38 17
508 It's called a map, Columbus. Remember that thing you swore you packed in the ship? 1.3200 0.04057 200 147 42 11
509 Now where can we get a charger? 1.3200 0.04057 200 147 42 11
510 Oh no, their technology has penetrated our invisibility shield 1.3196 0.04330 194 146 34 14
511 Can't we just get the probe online? 1.3192 0.03832 213 155 48 10
512 How did they pinpoint our location so quickly? 1.3188 0.04303 207 158 32 17
513 Let's see...restrooms...oh, no! Is this that crazy planet where they make a big deal about who uses which one? 1.3176 0.03875 255 195 39 21
514 Do you see an area marked 51? 1.3176 0.04000 233 177 38 18
515 How can they be so sure? 1.3175 0.04188 211 160 35 16
516 We need to buy some sunglasses so we're less conspicuous. 1.3175 0.04142 189 139 40 10
517 An indoor shopping mall? I thought we agreed to search for signs of life. 1.3166 0.04063 199 147 41 11
518 Do they always display their attack plans this openly? 1.3165 0.03533 278 208 52 18
519 Oh come on! If I WANTED to go around in circles, I would be back at the CROPS! 1.3165 0.04039 218 164 39 15
520 Let's face it. We're lost! 1.3160 0.03951 212 157 43 12
521 I said Supernova, not Sephora. 1.3158 0.03989 209 155 42 12
522 "I think we need a bigger map." 1.3158 0.03864 228 170 44 14
523 Can you come with me to Victoria's Secret? Last time they looked at me like I was some kinda creep! 1.3155 0.04256 206 157 33 16
524 We have really traveled back in time. 1.3155 0.04143 206 155 37 14
525 12,000 light years and NOW we get lost? 1.3151 0.03615 292 224 44 24
526 4 billion light years to get here and everything is closed. 1.3151 0.03809 219 161 47 11
527 You brought us halfway across the galaxy and still can't find the bathroom? 1.3150 0.04228 200 151 35 14
528 I told you this wasn’t Area 51 1.3148 0.03899 216 160 44 12
529 Uh oh. They're on to us. 1.3147 0.03958 197 144 44 9
530 At this point, the closest clothing store is best. 1.3143 0.04085 210 158 38 14
531 You” must be very small 1.3140 0.03769 207 150 49 8
532 How are we supposed to read this map? Where are the other seven dimensions? 1.3134 0.04269 201 153 33 15
533 Ironic, isn’t it? We travel 10 million light years without a hitch to get here, and yet we can’t find Cinnabon. 1.3134 0.04384 201 155 29 17
534 This isn't about finding suitable mates for an interspecies hybrid. you ginned up this whole stupid mission for a Cinnabon. 1.3128 0.04232 211 162 32 17
535 What is HERE" 1.3128 0.04124 211 160 36 15
536 I just need to pee before we leave for home. 1.3116 0.03959 215 161 41 13
537 Where’s the Escape Room? 1.3112 0.04028 196 145 41 10
538 No signs of intelligent life here. 1.3111 0.04613 180 139 26 15
539 Ann Taylor always fits me well. 1.3110 0.04092 209 158 37 14
540 I’ll only be fifteen minutes. Find someone to eat. 1.3110 0.04035 209 157 39 13
541 Why is the bathroom always on the other side? 1.3110 0.04035 209 157 39 13
542 They closed the Cinnabon? 1.3110 0.04148 209 159 35 15
543 What a primitive form of navigation. 1.3109 0.03597 238 175 52 11
544 Its just like the one back home. 1.3106 0.03822 235 177 43 15
545 We should've landed in Roswell. This place is a ghost town. 1.3105 0.04111 190 141 39 10
546 The sign says we’re finally here — and of course we’re naked and have no money. 1.3105 0.03960 219 167 37 15
547 This wouldn't have been an issue if we had destroyed the planet like I wanted. 1.3103 0.04232 203 155 33 15
548 No, I'm not. 1.3100 0.04392 200 155 28 17
549 Briefs or boxers? 1.3100 0.04157 200 151 36 13
550 It all seems so alien to us! 1.3100 0.04034 200 149 40 11
551 Hmm. They still think there is a here. 1.3096 0.04322 197 151 31 15
552 I’m not leaving here without Auntie Anne’s. 1.3095 0.03962 210 157 41 12
553 It’s not just a cinnamon roll. It’s an enormous cinnamon roll. 1.3091 0.03997 220 167 38 15
554 No wonder they cannot find us. 1.3088 0.03978 204 152 41 11
555 Navigating space is easier than this place. 1.3083 0.03798 253 194 40 19
556 We may be here, but what possessed us to come? 1.3081 0.04182 198 150 35 13
557 We need clothes 1.3081 0.03888 211 157 43 11
558 If they're so inferior how can they create that many types of candle? 1.3073 0.04196 205 157 33 15
559 This is the awkward part, until we get to The Gap 1.3073 0.04206 192 145 35 12
560 But it doesn't say where their leader is! 1.3073 0.04458 192 149 27 16
561 We're done for! They know our location! 1.3073 0.04196 179 133 37 9
562 HOW DO WE ESCAPE THIS HELLHOLE? 1.3069 0.04122 202 153 36 13
563 Let’s get out of “HERE”! 1.3069 0.04251 189 143 34 12
564 It was a Bed, Bath, and Beyond that got us here in the first place 1.3069 0.04184 189 142 36 11
565 And you thought the map from Alpha Centauri didn't make any sense. 1.3068 0.04242 176 131 36 9
566 Did you remember the coupons? 1.3065 0.03847 199 146 45 8
567 Looks like we landed close to the target 1.3065 0.04102 199 150 37 12
568 Are we THAT obvious? 1.3065 0.04297 186 141 33 12
569 I thought you were bringing the credit card 1.3065 0.04364 186 142 31 13
570 I see Burger King and Dairy Queen but nothing that says “Leader” 1.3061 0.04329 196 151 30 15
571 If we can’t find it soon, I’m going in that fake plant. 1.3060 0.04132 183 138 35 10
572 Now we really are lost in space. 1.3058 0.04064 206 156 37 13
573 I told you back at Ursa Minor. There's no Macy's here. 1.3058 0.04005 206 155 39 12
574 I think they want us to get clothes. 1.3058 0.03697 206 150 49 7
575 This is where I bought our probes last time. 1.3057 0.04187 193 146 35 12
576 Area 51 appears to be a Warby Parker. 1.3054 0.03983 203 152 40 11
577 Google neglected to mention this. 1.3053 0.04165 190 143 36 11
578 Am I really "model material" or was she just being nice? 1.3051 0.04444 177 135 30 12
579 How can they say I'm there when I'm right here?" 1.3043 0.04255 184 139 34 11
580 Crop circles are so much easy to navigate 1.3041 0.04104 194 146 37 11
581 Do you see the visitors center? 1.3037 0.04011 191 142 40 9
582 Yes . . . yes, indeed we are. 1.3035 0.04128 201 153 35 13
583 Let's try a bubble tea before we take over the Banana Republic. 1.3032 0.04453 188 146 27 15
584 Seriously, anything that sells clothes. 1.3030 0.04045 198 149 38 11
585 It’s a long way to come for a Cinnabon. 1.3029 0.03913 208 156 41 11
586 But where is here? 1.3027 0.04504 185 144 26 15
587 If we were there, we wouldn’t be here. Earth. Go figure. 1.3027 0.04304 185 141 32 12
588 ….And YOU are not alone. 1.3026 0.04020 195 146 39 10
589 Planet Fitness? That wasn’t on our maps. 1.3026 0.04213 195 149 33 13
590 We're going to need shirts and shoes before we go anywhere. 1.3024 0.03889 205 153 42 10
591 Oh good, we're here. 1.3023 0.04047 215 165 35 15
592 Anthropolgie sounds like it will have what we're looking for. 1.3023 0.03938 215 163 39 13
593 There’s gotta be a spaceship repair shop in here somewhere. 1.3021 0.04128 192 145 36 11
594 Well, first things first, let’s find a place that sells pants… 1.3016 0.04558 189 149 23 17
595 Oh great, lost in the consumer dimension again 1.3016 0.04171 189 143 35 11
596 I know it's a hike, but it's the only place with pig botulism toxin and I'm starving 1.3015 0.04447 199 157 24 18
597 There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere… 1.3011 0.04483 186 145 26 15
598 Look for unisex clothing store" 1.3006 0.04352 173 131 32 10
599 I always forget where we parked the space ship. 1.3006 0.04195 173 129 36 8
600 I feel alienated. 1.3006 0.04504 173 133 28 12
601 Do you think they were expecting us? 1.3005 0.03846 203 151 43 9
602 Is there a gender neutral restroom? 1.3000 0.04109 210 162 33 15
603 I think we made a wrong turn. 1.3000 0.04084 190 143 37 10
604 Are we ever going to visit a planet where the toilets can be accessed easily? 1.3000 0.04053 210 161 35 14
605 Remember, our analytics show we've just increased our chances of being involved in a mass shooting by seven thousand per cent. 1.3000 0.04194 200 154 32 14
606 We’ve come this far. We can’t give up now. 1.2994 0.04207 177 133 35 9
607 Can you open Google Maps, please? 1.2994 0.04119 167 123 38 6
608 And we said the galaxy was hard to navigate... 1.2990 0.04192 204 158 31 15
609 They're on to us! 1.2990 0.04091 194 147 36 11
610 I think we should abort. They know exactly where we are. 1.2990 0.04156 194 148 34 12
611 Apparently, they need to shop to find themselves" 1.2990 0.04091 194 147 36 11
612 They know where we are. Quick, run! 1.2989 0.04379 184 142 29 13
613 I see Forever 21 but not Area 51. 1.2986 0.03923 211 160 39 12
614 We're supposed to be wearing clothes to buy clothes? 1.2985 0.03993 201 152 38 11
615 It’s like we’re on another planet 1.2983 0.03991 181 134 40 7
616 So, THIS is Earth? 1.2982 0.03969 171 125 41 5
617 Victoria's Secret looks like a good start. 1.2981 0.04018 208 159 36 13
618 But where is the gender neutral bathroom? 1.2980 0.04032 198 150 37 11
619 I'll meet you right back here in 20 light years. 1.2979 0.04038 188 141 38 9
620 You travel 10 billion miles through space and time only to get lost in a mall. 1.2978 0.04262 178 135 33 10
621 Remember, our mission is to solve Victoria’s secret. 1.2976 0.03998 205 156 37 12
622 We leave them alone for hundreds of years and this is what they do to the place?! 1.2976 0.04116 205 158 33 14
623 But how does it know? 1.2973 0.04079 185 139 37 9
624 This one says ‘out of this world food’ Try it? 1.2973 0.04151 185 140 35 10
625 Take me to your restroom. 1.2973 0.04358 185 143 29 13
626 Bob must've done this crop circle - it makes no sense 1.2971 0.04385 175 134 30 11
627 I guess we should've checked before coming all this way for Sears. 1.2971 0.04459 175 135 28 12
628 Oh no -- I can't remember where we parked. 1.2970 0.04567 165 127 27 11
629 It was easier when we only had to "phone home". 1.2970 0.04567 165 127 27 11
630 It would have been so much easier if we'd done our shopping online. 1.2969 0.04048 192 145 37 10
631 Whoops...wrong planet. 1.2967 0.04122 182 137 36 9
632 And we foolishly thought our long journey was at an end. 1.2965 0.04587 172 134 25 13
633 Fantastic! It says you are here. 1.2963 0.04290 189 146 30 13
634 ‘And you still refuse to use a map?’ 1.2963 0.03949 189 141 40 8
635 You know, regardless of what the map says, they have no idea where they are. 1.2959 0.04718 169 133 22 14
636 I told you they were flat earthers! 1.2957 0.03988 186 139 39 8
637 I think we have a problem; I don’t see a Radio Shack Store. 1.2951 0.04175 183 139 34 10
638 You said there would be a Cinnabon. 1.2950 0.03804 200 149 43 8
639 They know where we are. Their technology is far more advanced than I thought. 1.2950 0.03997 200 152 37 11
640 All of this looks pretty alien to me. 1.2947 0.04138 190 145 34 11
641 Where’s the Samsung store - we’re supposed to get a Galaxy. 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
642 Didn’t we start here? 1.2944 0.04071 180 135 37 8
643 Dude, are we lost again? 1.2944 0.03972 197 149 38 10
644 Let’s go to the place where everyone is always twenty-one. 1.2941 0.04619 170 133 24 13
645 What do you think--clothing first or aviator glasses? 1.2938 0.03911 211 161 38 12
646 No wonder we can’t find intelligent life. 1.2938 0.04342 177 136 30 11
647 Honestly, I prefer crop circles. 1.2938 0.04191 177 134 34 9
648 "Oh Great, we've been sighted." 1.2935 0.04010 184 138 38 8
649 The Gap", perhaps where we came in 1.2932 0.04052 191 145 36 10
650 I think we've arrived at land's end. 1.2928 0.04344 181 140 29 12
651 We'll blend in if we get the Earth Shoes. 1.2928 0.04273 181 139 31 11
652 I don't care if it's 375 billion light years out of the way. Can we go to the good mall now? 1.2927 0.04104 205 159 32 14
653 Twelve light years to get here and now you’re lost? What kind of navigator are you?” 1.2926 0.04363 188 147 26 14
654 Is this what they call intelligent life? 1.2926 0.03730 188 138 45 5
655 First, we buy some trousers." 1.2923 0.03994 195 148 37 10
656 If you are there where am I? 1.2921 0.04016 178 133 38 7
657 Who's gonna notice? We're in L.A. 1.2921 0.04204 202 158 29 15
658 See, all along they knew we were coming. 1.2920 0.03782 226 173 40 13
659 We made it this far, we can’t turn back now. 1.2914 0.04370 175 135 29 11
660 Well, that really narrows it down. 1.2912 0.04323 182 141 29 12
661 Would it have killed you to check the map back at Andromeda? But noooo, you knew exactly where we were. 1.2907 0.04718 172 137 20 15
662 What is LLAM YROTCERID? 1.2903 0.04256 186 144 30 12
663 I think you can use either bathroom. 1.2903 0.04324 186 145 28 13
664 Uranus was a lot less complicated 1.2900 0.04047 200 154 34 12
665 A Mall and the Light Visitors 1.2898 0.04495 176 138 25 13
666 After traveling 25 light years across space, you'd think we'd be able to find the Radio Shack. 1.2898 0.04272 176 135 31 10
667 I must say that knowing exactly where we are right now is cold comfort to me.” 1.2897 0.04885 145 113 22 10
668 That explains everything. 1.2896 0.04372 183 143 27 13
669 We should have ordered on Amazon, like all the humans. 1.2896 0.04014 183 138 37 8
670 We are?? 1.2895 0.04322 190 149 27 14
671 There’s a lot of empty space. 1.2892 0.04362 166 127 30 9
672 We don't wear clothes or even have ears to pierce. Admit you just want to eat at Panda Express. 1.2890 0.04321 173 133 30 10
673 You said ' let's put some DNA on a meteorite and see what happens'. Happy now? 1.2889 0.04694 180 145 18 17
674 I don’t care if they are going out of business; you don’t need any more scented candles. 1.2888 0.04167 187 144 32 11
675 We're in the right place. It IS a strip mall. 1.2885 0.04813 156 123 21 12
676 I can’t read this shit! 1.2882 0.04678 170 135 21 14
677 I'm glad somebody knows where we are. 1.2882 0.04603 170 134 23 13
678 You and your excellent navigational skills. We landed at their only mall without a Hammacher Schlemmer. 1.2880 0.04282 184 143 29 12
679 We know where we are. We asked where your leader is. 1.2880 0.04038 191 146 35 10
680 No advanced civilization would create this. 1.2878 0.03973 205 158 35 12
681 The last time we visited, the dinosaurs were right here. 1.2875 0.04807 160 127 20 13
682 Not that helpful for getting back to Alpha Centauri. But on the bright side, there is a food court. 1.2875 0.04468 160 123 28 9
683 Bed, Bath & Beyond is closed for good. Now what do we do? 1.2874 0.04256 167 127 32 8
684 Shows why they can't find us anywhere. We're here, not there. 1.2873 0.04185 181 139 32 10
685 Well at least we're not lost in space. 1.2873 0.04036 181 137 36 8
686 What?! Galacti-search said Area 51 was right next to Foot Locker. 1.2872 0.04110 195 151 32 12
687 Are you sure this is Area 51? 1.2872 0.04046 195 150 34 11
688 I know it says you are here. But where exactly is here? 1.2865 0.04231 178 137 31 10
689 They have built amazing prisons here. The prisoners come voluntarily. 1.2857 0.04091 182 139 34 9
690 Keep looking. I know Alexa is here somewhere. 1.2857 0.03662 210 158 44 8
691 I think we need to phone home. 1.2857 0.04173 161 121 34 6
692 I see the Bed, and the Bath, what where is the Beyond. 1.2857 0.04218 196 154 28 14
693 I didn't know we'd be so easy to find. 1.2857 0.03940 182 137 38 7
694 They must be able to perceive a dimension we cannot. 1.2857 0.04263 189 148 28 13
695 See? We DO exist. 1.2848 0.04533 165 129 25 11
696 Now, what's the point of saying WHERE we are, if it doesn't tell us WHEN? 1.2848 0.04282 165 126 31 8
697 Take me to your Cinnabon 1.2848 0.04106 165 124 35 6
698 And these people are 'intelligent?' 1.2848 0.04407 158 121 29 8
699 Since when does it know? 1.2840 0.04754 162 129 20 13
700 Look for the theater. I want to see the 'Alien' re-release. 1.2839 0.04461 155 119 28 8
701 I told you, they didn't have a Jamba Juice 1.2837 0.04097 208 164 29 15
702 I just want to pop into Target for five minutes 1.2835 0.04115 194 151 31 12
703 Stop telling everyone our word for penis is "Warby Parker." 1.2834 0.04221 187 146 29 12
704 Navigating outer space was easier than finding our way out of that Ikea! 1.2833 0.04263 180 140 29 11
705 This planet is so self centered. 1.2832 0.03894 173 129 39 5
706 Hurry up and find a bathroom. I’ve been holding this in for light years 1.2832 0.04145 173 132 33 8
707 We mastered interstellar travel. How is it we missed clothing? 1.2828 0.04180 198 156 28 14
708 I say we boldly go to Cheesecake Factory 1.2825 0.03838 177 132 40 5
709 These earth people have to be told where they are? 1.2825 0.04159 177 136 32 9
710 Of course we are here! What I want to know is where is the Cinnabon? 1.2824 0.03820 216 167 37 12
711 Why does everyone keep saying, ‘May the fourth be with you,’ when there’s only two of us? 1.2824 0.04190 170 130 32 8
712 I told you we took a wrong turn. 1.2823 0.03787 209 160 39 10
713 Zort said the part we’re missing can be bought at the Radio Shack. Where the hell is the Radio Shack? 1.2821 0.04224 195 154 27 14
714 How'd they know when we would be here? 1.2819 0.04269 188 148 27 13
715 Do we have an escape plan? 1.2819 0.04673 149 116 24 9
716 I see they've simplified quantum physics. 1.2819 0.04373 149 113 30 6
717 Why can't you just ask for directions? 1.2818 0.04169 181 140 31 10
718 That’s why they never made it to us! 1.2816 0.04124 174 133 33 8
719 What? Sears isn’t even here anymore? 1.2816 0.04282 174 135 29 10
720 Something tells me we’re not going to find the highest forms of intelligent life here. 1.2812 0.04359 160 123 29 8
721 We came all this way, and they closed the Orange Julius? 1.2811 0.04034 185 142 34 9
722 I don’t see where to buy Taylor Swift’s new album. 1.2811 0.04247 185 145 28 12
723 Wait, I thought they couldn't see us! 1.2809 0.03901 178 134 38 6
724 How do they know that? 1.2809 0.04214 178 138 30 10
725 It’s all alien to me! 1.2807 0.04251 171 132 30 9
726 Oops! I think we’ve been spotted! 1.2807 0.04331 171 133 28 10
727 In the 80's, this was the center of the universe. 1.2800 0.04104 175 134 33 8
728 I told you your coordinates were off, Zanec. We didn't materialize anywhere near the restrooms. 1.2798 0.03849 193 147 38 8
729 This is definitely Antares IV, you said. No, I don't need to ask for directions! 1.2798 0.04845 168 137 15 16
730 The sign in the window said Space for Rent, but I suspect they mean inner space. 1.2795 0.04424 161 125 27 9
731 They have found us!" "How could they know we're here? 1.2794 0.04025 204 160 31 13
732 I wonder where “here” really is. 1.2791 0.04539 172 137 22 13
733 A bit more fanfare would have been nice. 1.2791 0.04229 172 133 30 9
734 We’ve navigated across a million light years to reach this galaxy and now you tell me we’re lost? 1.2791 0.04065 172 131 34 7
735 ‘I navigated us through 6 galaxies to get here, and you can’t find our way out of the food court.’ 1.2791 0.04065 172 131 34 7
736 Starbucks! 1.2789 0.04162 190 149 29 12
737 How did they find our location so fast?! 1.2788 0.04349 165 128 28 9
738 Why bother with a food court when there are so many tasty humans in front of us. 1.2788 0.04349 165 128 28 9
739 Where is here? 1.2785 0.04478 158 123 26 9
740 And these people landed a man on the moon? 1.2781 0.04194 169 130 31 8
741 We know we're here! Do they? 1.2778 0.04571 162 128 23 11
742 So fed up with the hypocrisy. How many times must we tell them that it’s “They”. 1.2778 0.04319 180 142 26 12
743 Before you vaporize it, let me run in for some more cookies and a usb cable. 1.2775 0.04045 173 132 34 7
744 Believe me. It doesn't matter what planet your on. If you want to pick up women you go to the shopping mall. 1.2775 0.04208 173 134 30 9
745 Yes, we're here, but on which planet? 1.2775 0.04127 173 133 32 8
746 In what universe would you go to a doctor at the mall? 1.2772 0.04037 184 142 33 9
747 And I thought finding earth would be the hard bit. 1.2767 0.04177 159 121 32 6
748 I assume their leader is at the Apple store. 1.2766 0.04186 188 148 28 12
749 I think we're lost. Phone home. 1.2765 0.04255 170 132 29 9
750 This is awkward….I don’t see the crop circle anywhere. 1.2761 0.04462 163 127 25 10
751 Well, I can't read the language, but my guess is it says Piet Mondrian. 1.2759 0.04418 174 138 24 12
752 ... and you thought we were there 1.2754 0.04044 167 127 34 6
753 Multiple dimensions yet only one bathroom? 1.2754 0.04303 167 130 28 9
754 You are here? But what galaxy? 1.2753 0.03964 178 136 35 7
755 Who do I have to probe to get an Orange Julius around here? 1.2750 0.04429 160 125 26 9
756 We went a million light years to find earth but you can’t find the Cinnabon?” 1.2750 0.04517 160 126 24 10
757 Would "Your Leader" be under "Y" or "L"? 1.2750 0.04058 160 121 34 5
758 Could you have parked any further from Nordstrom?? 1.2749 0.04695 171 139 17 15
759 The map of our entire planet seems less complicated than the map of their mall. 1.2749 0.03981 171 130 35 6
760 Where's here and how do we get there? 1.2747 0.04059 182 141 32 9
761 We navigated our way across 7 galaxies and we still can’t find the Cinnabon shop” 1.2747 0.04206 182 143 28 11
762 They have The Gap, but they don’t have The Void. 1.2746 0.04703 142 111 23 8
763 Let’s go to the arcade and freak people out while we play Space Invaders. 1.2744 0.04604 164 131 21 12
764 Does this mean we exist? 1.2744 0.04353 164 128 27 9
765 You’re right, we can’t get there from here! 1.2739 0.04748 157 126 19 12
766 Well at least we know we are here. But what is here exactly? 1.2738 0.04196 168 130 30 8
767 I wonder what sport is played on the food court. 1.2733 0.04526 150 117 25 8
768 I must say it's very misleading 1.2733 0.04316 161 125 28 8
769 You’re the trained navigator, so find the food court!” 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
770 I've got a feeling we're not in δ Aquarii A anymore. 1.2733 0.04405 161 126 25 9
771 Where’s the closest bathroom? 1.2733 0.04370 172 136 25 11
772 What the ¶∞º§ is "Clothing"? 1.2727 0.04145 176 137 30 9
773 Are you sure it’s called Forever 21? I thought it was 51 we were looking for. 1.2727 0.04445 154 120 26 8
774 We have traveled far, XVgi2, let us rest in the room they have kindly provided for rest. 1.2727 0.04155 165 127 31 7
775 'I've heard this planet is famous for those soft pretzels.' 1.2727 0.03818 176 133 38 5
776 Just once it would have killed you to ask for directions? 1.2727 0.04674 143 112 23 8
777 The Reese’s Pieces trail went cold an hour ago, just admit we’re lost. 1.2727 0.04497 165 131 23 11
778 Nazca lines were definitely more helpful 1.2727 0.04722 154 123 20 11
779 Fizbot said I should be able to find one at Radio Shack 1.2722 0.04340 169 133 26 10
780 While we're here, let's have a clothes encounter. 1.2722 0.04458 158 124 25 9
781 Are you sure they’re intelligent life?” 1.2716 0.04202 162 125 30 7
782 It appears they've bought into the "rectangular universe" consipracy. 1.2715 0.04500 151 118 25 8
783 There is no intelligent life down here. 1.2715 0.04500 151 118 25 8
784 This is alien to me 1.2710 0.04225 155 119 30 6
785 I don't understand the inhabitants of this planet. Why do they travel all the way to the Amazon, when they can do all their shopping here? 1.2710 0.04695 155 124 20 11
786 Sheesh. No wonder he phoned home. 1.2710 0.04513 155 122 24 9
787 I'm not worried about the Xenophobia - it's the nudity that'll freak them out 1.2710 0.04513 155 122 24 9
788 So we crossed the infinitely vast cosmos… just to get lost… here?. 1.2707 0.04061 181 141 31 9
789 Where were we going to meet Bed and Bath? 1.2704 0.04342 159 124 27 8
790 Amazing! Traveling 10,000 light years from home and the earthlings still know where we are! 1.2703 0.04657 148 117 22 9
791 Don't tell me you already forgot where we parked. 1.2701 0.04247 174 137 27 10
792 To fit in, we should first buy some jeans and sneakers. 1.2701 0.04247 174 137 27 10
793 Did remember to lock the saucer? 1.2697 0.04570 152 120 23 9
794 Great, Blip, now we're wandering around like lost balloons in a party store, this is worse than the time we landed at IKEA. 1.2697 0.04375 152 118 27 7
795 No Cinnabon!? Let's roll. 1.2695 0.04112 167 129 31 7
796 I am just looking for the great bicycle store E.T. keeps going on about. 1.2695 0.04284 167 131 27 9
797 I understand how to harness zero point energy to traverse the multiverse via wormholes... I don't understand how a store that just sells novelty socks is a viable business model. 1.2692 0.04579 156 124 22 10
798 Would 'Leader' be under 'Men's,' 'Women's' 'Dining,' or 'Entertainment?' 1.2692 0.04394 156 122 26 8
799 Clever earthlings! That Cinnabon smell gets me every time. 1.2692 0.04394 156 122 26 8
800 this used to be their cultural center 1.2690 0.04405 145 112 27 6
801 So Earth really IS flat? 1.2688 0.03757 186 142 38 6
802 There we are. 1.2688 0.04409 160 126 25 9
803 So we fly all this way and now you tell me you only studied French?! 1.2685 0.04219 149 114 30 5
804 Is it just me, or are we drastically underdressed? 1.2685 0.04219 149 114 30 5
805 Are you sure they said, "Clothes encounters"? 1.2685 0.04219 149 114 30 5
806 Using a map is so alien to me. 1.2680 0.04637 153 122 21 10
807 They found us! ... Wait, why are there so few humans here? 1.2680 0.04350 153 119 27 7
808 And I thought navigating the universe was tough! 1.2679 0.04177 168 131 29 8
809 We came all this way and the underwear store is out of business? 1.2678 0.04169 183 145 27 11
810 I swear! Last time I was here the Sam Goody was right next to Sharper Image. 1.2678 0.04022 183 143 31 9
811 I forgot my wallet. 1.2676 0.04679 142 112 22 8
812 We know we are here. Do they know we are here? 1.2675 0.04553 157 125 22 10
813 The unisex clothing store should work. 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
814 Sure. NOW you ask for directions. 1.2674 0.04273 172 136 26 10
815 We might find their leader presiding over the Food Court. 1.2671 0.04269 146 112 29 5
816 Of all the malls in all the universe, you land at the one with no giant pretzels?! 1.2670 0.04205 176 139 27 10
817 Forget the stores. Just keep abducting them until we have all the clothing we need. 1.2667 0.04223 165 129 28 8
818 They didnt have these places back in my Roswell days 1.2667 0.04223 165 129 28 8
819 I knew it wasn't gonna be easy to find Planet Fitness. 1.2663 0.04321 169 134 25 10
820 Remember, no new wireless plans and no probing anyone who just ate at the food court. 1.2662 0.04517 154 122 23 9
821 I’ve NEVER felt so ALIENATED in my WHOLE LIFE!” ☀️👽☀ 1.2662 0.04326 154 120 27 7
822 Last time I was on Earth it was clothing optional. 1.2659 0.04090 173 135 30 8
823 Can we finally stop and ask for directions now???? 1.2659 0.04171 173 136 28 9
824 All that way, and NO Orange Julius anymore? 1.2659 0.04251 173 137 26 10
825 I told you we should have taken a left at Jupiter 1.2658 0.04345 158 124 26 8
826 Clearly no discernable pattern of a highly functioning society 1.2658 0.04345 158 124 26 8
827 We didn't have to come here, you know! I have Amazon Prime 1.2658 0.04437 158 125 24 9
828 I think this is their house of worship . 1.2657 0.04543 143 112 24 7
829 Do Earthlings really 'rest' in the restroom? 1.2654 0.04271 162 127 27 8
830 If you've seen one store, you've seen a mall. 1.2654 0.04533 162 130 21 11
831 I don't believe we could interfer with this civilization if we tried." 1.2653 0.04761 147 118 19 10
832 Just the same as on Mars 1.2653 0.04761 147 118 19 10
833 Looks like our walking group is late again… 1.2651 0.04113 166 129 30 7
834 I hope this mall has an all-gender bathroom. 1.2651 0.04023 166 128 32 6
835 I didn't come all this way to settle for Sbarro. 1.2649 0.04575 151 120 22 9
836 Why won't you just ask someone? 1.2647 0.04074 136 102 32 2
837 Are we a ‘YOU’? 1.2645 0.04301 155 121 27 7
838 You tell me, you’re the navigator. 1.2643 0.04373 140 108 27 5
839 I know that cinnamon smell is really tempting, but you're going to see that it was not worth coming this far. 1.2642 0.04321 159 125 26 8
840 I didn’t travel light years to not get a Cinnabon! 1.2639 0.04621 144 114 22 8
841 I thought our mission was to go where we could find signs of intelligent life. 1.2639 0.04406 144 112 26 6
842 The truth is in here somewhere. 1.2639 0.04515 144 113 24 7
843 So that's where we are. 1.2639 0.04621 144 114 22 8
844 You’ll do anything to avoid asking for directions 1.2639 0.04827 144 116 18 10
845 Forget this, We should phone home. 1.2638 0.04066 163 126 31 6
846 OK, Gary, better keep away from the YOU in case they're dangerous 1.2638 0.04423 163 130 23 10
847 They say we're here. Good. They don't know we're everywhere. 1.2635 0.04431 148 116 25 7
848 Nope, there's no leader listed. 1.2635 0.04326 148 115 27 6
849 Oh crap! Another black hole. 1.2635 0.04264 167 132 26 9
850 That’s the one: Geek Squad. They can fix anything! 1.2634 0.03675 224 177 35 12
851 You said there’d be a Cheesecake Factory. 1.2632 0.04548 152 121 22 9
852 No intelligent life, no affordable pants ... let's phone home. 1.2632 0.04736 152 123 18 11
853 It said the target was right here with a capital T, but maybe I just clicked an ad. 1.2632 0.03931 152 115 34 3
854 Why on earth are washrooms always far from mall directories? 1.2628 0.04372 156 123 25 8
855 This is where Earthlings worship their God Consumera. 1.2628 0.04558 156 125 21 10
856 I didn't travel thirty million light years to go home without Cinnabon." 1.2628 0.04665 137 108 22 7
857 Auntie Anne’s or Cinnabon, you decide…either will taste fine when we get home in 23 trillion years. 1.2628 0.04665 137 108 22 7
858 Shoes. I need shoes—and big sunglasses too. 1.2626 0.03908 179 139 33 7
859 See? I told you at Alpha Centauri that we took the wrong turn! 1.2625 0.04205 160 125 28 7
860 Don’t they know Amazon delivers? 1.2625 0.04205 160 125 28 7
861 Where can we phone home? 1.2624 0.04790 141 113 19 9
862 It's way too far to go for a hot pretzel. 1.2622 0.04225 164 129 27 8
863 We are here, but the truth is out there… 1.2621 0.04797 145 117 18 10
864 Third mall since we landed and we still can’t find a thing to wear. 1.2617 0.04405 149 117 25 7
865 I think we will have to order our captives online. 1.2614 0.04327 153 120 26 7
866 What is with these beings, all 'modern fashion' shops and no intergalactic transporter charging station?" 1.2611 0.04253 157 123 27 7
867 At least we know where we are now. 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
868 I'm a highly advanced being and I still can't figure out how to get to the Orange Julius. 1.2609 0.04363 161 128 24 9
869 We know where WE are, you idiot humans! Where are your damn BATHROOMS!? 1.2606 0.04459 165 133 21 11
870 We've entered a black hole. 1.2606 0.04082 142 108 31 3
871 Their leader must be this Macy. 1.2604 0.04302 169 135 24 10
872 We need a good clothing store. 1.2604 0.03871 169 130 34 5
873 Wait a minute… THEY GOT RID OF ORANGE JULIUS?! 1.2603 0.04767 146 118 18 10
874 This must be earthling hell 1.2600 0.04579 150 120 21 9
875 I knew it - they’re tracking us! 1.2598 0.03717 204 160 35 9
876 Take us to your sales leader. 1.2597 0.04400 154 122 24 8
877 OK, I'll meet you back here in an hour. 1.2597 0.04495 154 123 22 9
878 Our wormhole exit portal must be somewhere around here -- maybe we should "Fall into the Gap" and see what happens. 1.2595 0.04139 131 99 30 2
879 I told you we should have left earlier. Sears has been closed for light years now. 1.2595 0.04034 158 122 31 5
880 Okay...but which way is the Crab Nebula? 1.2595 0.04229 158 124 27 7
881 Where on earth is the Toilet!” 1.2595 0.04415 158 126 23 9
882 That still doesn’t help. 1.2595 0.04229 158 124 27 7
883 I've been told where to go, but never where I am. 1.2593 0.04159 162 127 28 7
884 All this way for Chick-fil-A and they’re closed on Sundays. 1.2593 0.04250 162 128 26 8
885 Come on, Rod! I really would like to get off this rock before the next election! Let's try exit F ... 1.2593 0.04339 162 129 24 9
886 What kind of planet doesn’t have an Orange Julius? 1.2593 0.04513 162 131 20 11
887 „We‘ll never find their leader!“ 1.2590 0.04717 139 111 20 8
888 ''I told you the government have been tracking us.'' 1.2587 0.04293 143 111 27 5
889 Bed Bath & Beyond my ass 1.2586 0.04049 174 137 29 8
890 Fine, but I’m not wearing low rise pants. 1.2585 0.04327 147 115 26 6
891 Our map of the galaxy is easier to follow than this! 1.2579 0.04299 159 126 25 8
892 We aren't in Roswell any more! 1.2579 0.04391 159 127 23 9
893 How primitive! Haven’t earthlings heard of Amazon Prime? 1.2577 0.03949 163 126 32 5
894 When you think about it, I guess Starbucks does really does rule this world. 1.2577 0.04227 163 129 26 8
895 At last, the answer to the greatest question in the universe! 1.2575 0.04411 167 135 21 11
896 But you don’t need any new clothes. 1.2575 0.03981 167 130 31 6
897 None of these stores say leader." 1.2575 0.04328 167 134 23 10
898 We'll just tell them, we're from Amazon 1.2571 0.04687 140 112 20 8
899 THIS is what that old guy ET was going on and on about? 1.2571 0.04576 140 111 22 7
900 Nothing on the map to indicate where we can find the leader. 1.2569 0.04596 144 115 21 8
901 Look for a Best Buy. I'll bet there's a geek there that can help us. 1.2569 0.04700 144 116 19 9
902 Let’s go find out Victoria’s Secret. 1.2568 0.04510 148 118 22 8
903 They seem to think space is infinite. 1.2568 0.04193 148 115 28 5
904 I don't know where to begin. Shoes? Jackets? Pants?" 1.2568 0.04193 148 115 28 5
905 I thought we were going to Area 51 1.2566 0.04226 152 119 27 6
906 I just want to see the ice cream store from Stranger Things. 1.2566 0.04122 152 118 29 5
907 Wow, a Mondrian! 1.2564 0.04155 156 122 28 6
908 Who’s a guy gotta probe in this joint to get an Orange Julius? 1.2564 0.04444 156 125 22 9
909 No, we're not. We're HERE. 1.2564 0.04253 156 123 26 7
910 Look, they have a Gap here too! 1.2563 0.03768 199 157 33 9
911 We spent less time going in circles in that cornfield in Nebraska! 1.2563 0.04275 160 127 25 8
912 The surveillance technology on this planet is out of this world. 1.2561 0.04204 164 130 26 8
913 You wanted to study human Anthropologie? 1.2560 0.04136 168 133 27 8
914 Just act normal 1.2558 0.04956 129 104 17 8
915 I sure hope there’s an all gender restroom. 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
916 “ I’m confused. I thought we were here!” 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
917 So... that's the large intestine? 1.2552 0.04671 145 117 19 9
918 A Walden Books?! What planet am I on?! 1.2550 0.04680 149 121 18 10
919 We can find Earth in another galaxy, but we can't find a washroom in a mall. 1.2550 0.04583 149 120 20 9
920 Strange planet! Earthlings go to a psychiatrist to find out who they are and the mall to find out where they are. 1.2550 0.04583 149 120 20 9
921 Now that we know where we are, where are the bathrooms? 1.2550 0.04483 149 119 22 8
922 Oh cripes, they know we're here, Janet! 1.2549 0.03892 204 164 28 12
923 Fine, let’s look around, but no Starbucks — they always get our names wrong. 1.2549 0.04402 153 122 23 8
924 Forget it! No store will hire you. You're an illegal alien 1.2549 0.04402 153 122 23 8
925 I told you to make a left at the Kuiper Belt, but you said I was wrong. When we saw Jupiter approaching, I begged you to ask for directions. But did you listen? Noooo...and now we're here." 1.2544 0.04199 169 135 25 9
926 So I guess this is retirement.” 1.2540 0.04207 126 96 28 2
927 After the episode in Florida, i’m sure they will just ignore us. 1.2537 0.04327 134 104 26 4
928 We have conquered space and time, so why do we have to travel half way across the solar system to buy a pair of pants? 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
929 How did they know we would be coming to this very spot? 1.2536 0.04607 138 110 21 7
930 Whatever, Mr 'i can read a map'. 1.2536 0.04607 138 110 21 7
931 We're way ahead in technology, but way behind in fashion. 1.2535 0.04291 142 111 26 5
932 70000 light years to get off the beaten track and we end up in another non-place 1.2535 0.04406 142 112 24 6
933 Our mind-control device is no match for the lure of these great selections and low, low prices. 1.2534 0.04743 146 119 17 10
934 You dragged me all the way here for Sharper Image? 1.2533 0.04144 150 117 27 5
935 See, this is exactly what happens when you refuse to ask for directions. 1.2533 0.04144 150 117 28 5
936 I said THE Washington Mall. You never listen. 1.2533 0.04354 150 119 24 7
937 I’m looking for something comfortable for our next flight. 1.2532 0.03969 154 119 31 4
938 Uh-oh, I think it says "Shirts and Shoes Required. 1.2532 0.03969 154 119 31 4
939 I need a Milky Way bar. 1.2532 0.04566 154 125 19 10
940 This clearance sale had better be worth the trip 1.2532 0.03969 154 119 31 4
941 How'd they know?" Must be more intelligent than we thought! 1.2532 0.04484 158 128 20 10
942 We're here -- where is leader? 1.2531 0.04136 162 128 27 7
943 Uh oh, we’ve crossed over to 2 dimensions. 1.2530 0.03887 166 129 32 5
944 So where's the saucer parked? 1.2529 0.04340 170 138 21 11
945 I can't believe we came all this way just to find out that the Nordstrom closed! 1.2529 0.04029 174 138 28 8
946 I told you that someone reported our landing... 1.2524 0.03670 206 163 34 9
947 Ah, it appears that the spacetime continuum is replete with Gaps. 1.2519 0.04513 131 103 23 5
948 “Space available on Level B. Perfect!” 1.2518 0.04462 139 110 23 6
949 You told me they would have Relief Stations here. I've been holding it for three millenia. 1.2518 0.04343 139 109 25 5
950 We’ve traveled back to June 16, 2015. Our mission is to sabotage that escalator there, and prevent the descent into chaos from ever happening. Universal peace is at stake! 1.2518 0.04577 139 111 21 7
951 No pants no service? How are we supposed to buy pants in the first place? 1.2518 0.04577 139 111 21 7
952 Look what they've done to the monolith we buried millenniums ago. 1.2518 0.04096 139 107 29 3
953 I know we are here, but how do we get there? 1.2517 0.04379 143 113 24 6
954 Let’s start at the Secret of Victoria. 1.2517 0.04714 147 120 17 10
955 Did you ever have that dream where you’re completely naked an nobody notices? 1.2517 0.04512 147 118 21 8
956 These are superior beings if they can figure out this map! 1.2516 0.03947 155 120 31 4
957 Which begs the question: Where is here? 1.2516 0.04182 159 126 26 7
958 Let's just ask for directions. What's the worst that could happen? 1.2516 0.04086 159 125 28 6
959 This isn’t as informative as I’d hoped 1.2515 0.04551 163 134 17 12
960 You mean we came all this way and there's no Macy's?? 1.2515 0.04048 167 132 28 7
961 Where is the terrestrial -neutral restroom? 1.2514 0.04009 175 139 28 8
962 No unisex??? 1.2514 0.03926 175 138 30 7
963 Yet another example of this planet's disinformation prowess! 1.2514 0.03926 175 138 30 7
964 This isn't right. They told us we would be living on the beach. 1.2500 0.04352 144 114 24 6
965 Let’s go see what her secret is. 1.2500 0.04570 144 116 20 8
966 Let's check out the sunglasses kiosk first so we won't stand out so much. 1.2500 0.04229 156 124 25 7
967 Is this their idea of a global positioning system? 1.2500 0.04054 148 115 29 4
968 We should have teleported. 1.2500 0.03877 152 117 32 3
969 Cinnabon second. Pants first. 1.2500 0.04239 144 113 26 5
970 How could it not be here? ‘Lonely Universe’ gave a 4 quasar rating to the Waldenbooks. 1.2500 0.04272 136 106 26 4
971 This proves it. We are HERE. 1.2500 0.03939 204 166 25 13
972 Did you spell desert with one s or two? 1.2500 0.04835 128 103 18 7
973 We shall be stranded in this galaxy forever. That human just told me ‘No returns after 7 days.’ 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
974 What do you mean there's no Radio Shack? 1.2500 0.04437 128 100 24 4
975 No, we are not 1.2500 0.04091 164 130 27 7
976 The Clothes Encounters outlet seems like a good bet. 1.2486 0.03945 173 137 29 7
977 sunglasses? let's worry about that after we get some clothes! 1.2484 0.04041 161 127 28 6
978 But where do we go from "here"? 1.2484 0.04229 161 129 24 8
979 First, Sunglass Hut. We don’t want to look conspicuous. 1.2484 0.04176 153 121 26 6
980 What did they DO to that guy? 1.2483 0.04030 149 115 29 4
981 You left your debit card on the last planet? 1.2483 0.04354 149 119 23 7
982 I didn't think they knew we existed, so how is it they know we're here? 1.2483 0.04249 149 118 25 6
983 Uh-oh, I think I left my wallet in my pants. 1.2483 0.04541 145 117 20 8
984 We should've just shopped online. 1.2483 0.04213 145 114 26 5
985 Don’t worry Squee, they have all the parts we need to fix the spaceship. Now, where is the Radio Shack? 1.2483 0.04541 145 117 20 8
986 Sure we can go to Claire's, but you don't have any ears to pierce. 1.2482 0.04519 141 113 21 7
987 If you’ve seen one shopping center on earth, you’ve seen the mall. 1.2482 0.04630 141 114 19 8
988 . ´´We have some work to do if they don’t even know where they are ‘ 1.2482 0.04289 141 111 25 5
989 You chose the wrong portal. Again! 1.2482 0.04608 137 110 20 7
990 What do you mean you forgot where we parked? 1.2482 0.04490 137 109 22 6
991 And you thought navigating the universe was complicated. 1.2482 0.04116 137 106 28 3
992 There’s nothing here we need. 1.2482 0.04490 137 109 22 6
993 You and Here enter the mall and are immediately confused by the sign. 1.2482 0.04369 137 108 24 5
994 This must be what they meant when they said "hell". 1.2481 0.04323 133 104 25 4
995 It looked better in the travel brochure. 1.2481 0.04323 133 104 25 4
996 I feel like our first stop should be a place where we can get pants… 1.2481 0.04579 133 106 21 6
997 Maybe the Shadow knows... 1.2471 0.04171 174 141 23 10
998 I'm not seeing their leader on this map. You? 1.2470 0.03956 166 131 29 6
999 See if they have a non-gender clothing store 1.2468 0.04084 158 125 27 6
1000 Ok we're here, but where's their leader? 1.2468 0.04352 154 124 22 8
1001 Who knew things would be so different if we went back 20 years in time? 1.2468 0.04152 154 122 26 6
1002 They said this is where we can buy some underwear. 1.2468 0.04152 154 122 26 6
1003 We're doomed. 1.2467 0.04328 150 120 23 7
1004 I have a feeling we're not in Roswell anymore. 1.2467 0.04431 150 121 21 8
1005 Can we please just find some skinny jeans and get out of here?! 1.2465 0.04143 142 111 27 4
1006 I have to take a shit. 1.2464 0.05019 138 115 12 11
1007 Wow. I thought we were there. 1.2464 0.04578 138 111 20 7
1008 Locating Earth was easier than locating the nearest restroom. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
1009 This planet looked a lot bigger from up there. 1.2463 0.04025 134 103 29 2
1010 Darn it! They know we are here. Quick, to the mothership. 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
1011 We need some clothes fast. Where is that Swift Taylor shop? 1.2453 0.04345 159 129 21 9
1012 Are you sure you entered Roswell in your GPS? 1.2452 0.04229 155 124 24 7
1013 How do we find their leader? 1.2450 0.03635 151 115 35 1
1014 I know you hate shopping, but I packed all the wrong clothes. 1.2450 0.04404 151 122 21 8
1015 “I miss Roswell." 1.2450 0.03871 151 117 31 3
1016 We’re not lost, we just don’t know where we are 1.2450 0.04404 151 122 21 8
1017 Forget their leader, I just need a bathroom... 1.2450 0.04600 151 124 17 10
1018 No wonder they can't get out of Earth orbit 1.2449 0.04162 147 116 26 5
1019 Do you think the Uber driver thought we said “Forever 21” instead of “Area 51”? 1.2449 0.04486 147 119 20 8
1020 By the looks of it - It appears to be the remains of an ancient human society 1.2449 0.04486 147 119 20 8
1021 I’m tired, let’s go home. 1.2448 0.04571 143 116 19 8
1022 First stop needs to be at a clothing store. 1.2448 0.04351 143 114 23 6
1023 We never went anywhere without a GPS 1.2448 0.03871 143 112 28 3
1024 Well the Sunglass Hut was a bust. 1.2448 0.04884 143 119 13 11
1025 Agreed - Space is easier. 1.2446 0.04313 139 110 24 5
1026 We've licked the speed of light, but I still can't find the washrooms. 1.2444 0.04135 135 105 27 3
1027 It says, “The Gap”. I hope it’s the one in the space/time continuum. 1.2444 0.04394 135 107 23 5
1028 I could've sworn this used to be a cornfield last time 1.2444 0.04394 135 107 23 5
1029 I like Andromeda‘s mall way better. 1.2444 0.04518 135 108 21 6
1030 When the heck did Roswell build a Mall? 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1031 It is finally sinking in that humans will never find our galaxy. 1.2439 0.04522 123 97 22 4
1032 We know we’re here, but why hasn’t anyone else noticed? 1.2436 0.04302 156 126 22 8
1033 Can you believe a planet where burgers are considered royalty? 1.2434 0.04174 152 121 25 6
1034 But they said the Cinnabon was out of this world? 1.2432 0.04247 148 118 24 6
1035 Unit 2632 said to meet her in the library, science fiction section. 1.2432 0.03909 148 115 30 3
1036 Do we have to be? 1.2432 0.03909 148 115 30 3
1037 Does it zoom out? 1.2431 0.04434 144 116 21 7
1038 but when? 1.2431 0.04543 144 117 19 8
1039 Yes dear, you know better than the GPS. 1.2429 0.04404 140 112 22 6
1040 Good God, they don’t even know they’re here. 1.2429 0.04164 140 110 26 4
1041 Damn, ther're onto us. 1.2426 0.04489 136 109 21 6
1042 I'm just saying, we should have made a left at Uranus. 1.2424 0.04182 132 103 26 3
1043 Why does everyone assume that you are the male? 1.2422 0.04802 128 104 17 7
1044 That's the third one. How does it know where we are? 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
1045 I'm telling Dad we came here. 1.2419 0.04773 124 100 18 6
1046 Are we, like, visible? 1.2419 0.04028 124 95 28 1
1047 Good to know. 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
1048 It was easier to navigate the Milky Way than it is to find a Sunglass Hut here. 1.2418 0.04352 153 124 21 8
1049 What do you mean, you forgot the receipt?! 1.2417 0.05020 120 98 15 7
1050 The humans are even dumber than we thought. 1.2416 0.04222 149 119 24 6
1051 It’s a small world after all. 1.2416 0.04001 149 117 28 4
1052 Clothes were fun! Do you want to look for hats or shoes now? 1.2414 0.04407 145 117 21 7
1053 I thought you said they were self-aware? 1.2414 0.04407 145 117 21 7
1054 Out of business” sure is a popular place 1.2414 0.04297 145 116 23 6
1055 Yes, we will meet with their leader. But first Wetzel's Pretzels 1.2414 0.04070 174 141 24 9
1056 They weren´t kidding when they said: bed, bath and "beyond! 1.2414 0.04184 145 115 25 5
1057 Maybe the Burger King is their leader. 1.2411 0.04376 141 113 22 6
1058 it's a trap 1.2411 0.04259 141 112 24 5
1059 Honestly I’d rather stay naked than shop at any of these stores. 1.2409 0.04212 137 108 25 4
1060 Couldn’t you have chosen a rest stop with more clearly situated bathrooms? 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
1061 We need some clothes. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
1062 Nope. Back to the ship. No Cinnabon. 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
1063 We’re gonna need a bigger map 1.2406 0.04909 133 110 14 9
1064 Is this it? The whole planet? 1.2405 0.04438 158 130 18 10
1065 How did they know so quickly we were here? 1.2403 0.04371 129 102 23 4
1066 Hey, look! It’s Jackson. I wonder if he remembers us from the abduction. 1.2403 0.05016 129 107 13 9
1067 I told you--Orange Julius closed lightyears ago. 1.2403 0.04228 154 124 23 7
1068 I think we landed our space ship by the h and m 1.2400 0.04197 150 120 24 6
1069 I forgot this planet no longer has Orange Julius. 1.2400 0.04302 150 121 22 7
1070 Intriguing. How do they know? 1.2400 0.04873 125 102 16 7
1071 I do not want to be here! 1.2397 0.04271 146 117 23 6
1072 I told you to ask the Centauris for directions but Nooo 1.2397 0.03925 146 114 29 3
1073 I don’t see Area 51 1.2397 0.04271 146 117 23 6
1074 To accomplish our mission, it's vital to find out exactly what Victoria's secret is. 1.2397 0.04236 121 94 25 2
1075 Oh good. They have my makeup store here. 1.2394 0.04462 142 115 20 7
1076 A black hole would have been more fun than this place 1.2394 0.04572 142 116 18 8
1077 We managed to travel seventy light years to get here and still can’t manage to find the bathroom. 1.2394 0.04232 142 113 24 5
1078 I told Siri ‘get me directions to Mars’ but she must have misunderstood. 1.2394 0.04348 142 114 22 6
1079 I've already forgotten which parking area we crash-landed in. 1.2391 0.04247 138 112 20 5
1080 How can we be in two places at once??? 1.2388 0.04261 134 106 24 4
1081 I hope this isn’t one of those places where you need a wormhole to find the exit. 1.2388 0.04517 134 108 20 6
1082 I don't believe "Out of this World Clothing Shop" means what you think it does. 1.2387 0.04302 155 126 21 8
1083 I could have sworn we parked the saucer on B7 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
1084 So much for Mission Radio Shack. 1.2384 0.04276 151 122 22 7
1085 The entire universe and we end up here? 1.2384 0.04064 151 120 26 5
1086 I knew we should have taken a left turn at Alpha Centauri. 1.2381 0.04245 147 118 23 6
1087 They know where we are? 1.2378 0.04543 143 117 18 8
1088 The galaxy is easier to navigate! 1.2378 0.03965 143 112 28 3
1089 This was a long trip for only three options at the food court 1.2378 0.04087 143 113 26 4
1090 "What’s Ladies Lingerie?" 1.2378 0.04434 143 116 20 7
1091 These don't work on our planet either 1.2378 0.04321 143 115 22 6
1092 We're too late. They're already slaves to consumerism. 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
1093 We’ve made it to Shopper’s World. 1.2374 0.04402 139 112 21 6
1094 How did they figure it out? 1.2374 0.04031 139 109 27 3
1095 This music sounds so familiar 1.2373 0.04915 118 96 16 6
1096 No restrooms here, either...sigh 1.2370 0.04487 135 109 20 6
1097 And humans think crop circles are vague. 1.2370 0.04233 135 107 24 4
1098 What time is your mom getting us again? 1.2370 0.04100 135 106 26 3
1099 And I thought finding our way to the planet was hard... 1.2368 0.04147 152 122 24 6
1100 I told you a million times that Amazon Prime would have been quicker 1.2366 0.04703 131 107 17 7
1101 I thought you said there was an Orange Julius in this quadrant? 1.2366 0.04446 131 105 21 5
1102 They have no idea. 1.2366 0.04703 131 107 17 7
1103 Right place, wrong planet? 1.2366 0.04312 131 104 23 4
1104 There is not a mall in this universe still as good as it was pre-Amazon. 1.2365 0.04219 148 119 23 6
1105 To me, this whole place is a food court. 1.2365 0.04219 148 119 23 6
1106 Don’t you think we should be supporting local business? 1.2365 0.04219 148 119 23 6
1107 Do you member where we parked? 1.2364 0.04289 165 136 19 10
1108 It’s your turn, but choose something besides Cinnabon. 1.2364 0.04022 165 133 25 7
1109 You didn't leave the engine running, did you? 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1110 This is harder to understand than an interstellar plasma-wave corridor map. 1.2362 0.04803 127 104 16 7
1111 Where is Forever Area 51? 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1112 This makes me feel alienated. 1.2361 0.04406 144 117 20 7
1113 Wow, interesting locational positioning technology. 1.2358 0.04483 123 98 21 4
1114 Still not sure why the Celestial Leader sent us to study Banana Republics. 1.2358 0.04630 123 99 19 5
1115 All this materialistic consumerism makes me feel....I don't know...alienated, somehow. 1.2358 0.04771 123 100 17 6
1116 If that's where you are, where am I? 1.2358 0.04630 123 99 19 5
1117 You’ve gotta find an eyebrow salon and we both need an underwear store. 1.2357 0.04132 140 111 25 4
1118 Their technology is far more advanced than we thought. 1.2357 0.04373 140 113 21 6
1119 Oh no! Circuit City went out too! 1.2357 0.04254 140 112 23 5
1120 A few minutes in RadioShack and you'll forget the entire nine-year journey. 1.2357 0.03953 157 125 27 5
1121 I’ll get the probe and meet you in the food court in 10 minutes. 1.2353 0.04226 153 124 22 7
1122 You don't know how grateful I am that someone finally told us where we are. 1.2353 0.04205 136 108 24 4
1123 I told you it was a left turn at Alpha Centauri! 1.2349 0.04084 149 119 25 5
1124 ‘The Gap’ sounded more exotic from afar. 1.2349 0.04300 149 121 21 7
1125 Plastic surgery. Dental implants. Botox injections. Do we abduct them before or after all of that? 1.2348 0.04545 132 107 19 6
1126 The prime directive is clear that we cannot interfere with a civilization that does not have a RadioShack 1.2348 0.04416 132 106 21 5
1127 You navigated us 10 trillion miles and now you can’t find a restroom?! 1.2345 0.04154 145 116 24 5
1128 This is not Utah. It's Mall. 1.2345 0.04378 145 118 20 7
1129 Shoot. I forgot my wallet. 1.2344 0.04073 128 100 26 2
1130 Woolworth's is gone?? 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
1131 Well, you got us here from Arcturus, why can't you find the bathroom? 1.2344 0.04638 128 104 18 6
1132 Do we HAVE to go to Sephora? 1.2342 0.03720 158 124 31 3
1133 They show you where you are, but they don't show where the teleporter is located. 1.2340 0.04227 141 113 23 5
1134 127 light-years to get here and you park on the wrong side 1.2339 0.04596 124 100 19 5
1135 Should we tell them we built the malls too? 1.2339 0.04737 124 101 17 6
1136 Next time we come for Black Friday, we need to factor in the time difference 1.2336 0.04048 137 108 26 3
1137 You forgot the reusable bags, didn't you? 1.2333 0.04694 120 97 18 5
1138 What fresh hell is this?! 1.2333 0.04984 120 99 14 7
1139 Paris, New York, Tokyo.. 1.2333 0.04694 120 97 18 5
1140 78 light years to the planet without a wrong turn and now we can't find J Crew 1.2333 0.04168 150 121 23 6
1141 Oooh Starbucks has a branch in this galaxy, too. 1.2333 0.04060 150 120 25 5
1142 What a long strange trip it’s been. 1.2331 0.04514 133 108 19 6
1143 But we've come so far 1.2331 0.04386 133 107 21 5
1144 So confusing. Let’s phone home. 1.2329 0.04012 146 116 26 4
1145 Starbucks? We may be able to make a fortune here! 1.2329 0.04351 146 119 20 7
1146 They closed Sears! Where are we supposed to get tools to fix our ship? 1.2329 0.04241 146 118 22 6
1147 You were right. We're pretty much alone in the cosmos after all. 1.2326 0.04735 129 106 16 7
1148 Why is it so hard to find normal jeans? 1.2326 0.04735 129 106 16 7
1149 It was easier finding this planet. 1.2324 0.04201 142 114 23 5
1150 Didn't it used to be next to Bed Bath and Beyond...? 1.2324 0.03956 142 112 27 3
1151 We travel 50,000,000,000 light years and NOW you choose now and here to stop for directions? 1.2324 0.04080 142 113 25 4
1152 ...and Mars is where?" "Let's ask security. 1.2324 0.03956 142 112 27 3
1153 I swear there used to be a Radio Shack here. 1.2323 0.03971 155 124 26 5
1154 There's no White House, but Waffle House sounds good. 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
1155 Just as I suspected. We landed in New Jersey. 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
1156 Would we fit in better if we got some underwear? 1.2319 0.04277 138 111 22 5
1157 Getting here was the easy part. 1.2319 0.04022 138 109 26 3
1158 I told you to park at the other entrance. 1.2318 0.04249 151 123 21 7
1159 Look casual. They're onto us already. 1.2316 0.03905 177 144 25 8
1160 I'm famished. How many light years to the food court? 1.2313 0.04357 134 108 21 5
1161 Fine. One last Orange Julius, then we annihilate humanity. 1.2313 0.04727 134 111 15 8
1162 Clothes encounters of the worst kind 1.2313 0.04607 134 109 17 7
1163 Uh oh, I left my wallet at home. 1.2313 0.04357 134 108 21 5
1164 Staring, humbled and defeated, Grylax and Dirvion, master intergalactic cartographers, had finally met their match. 1.2313 0.04727 134 111 15 8
1165 Try under “P” for probe. 1.2308 0.04174 143 115 23 5
1166 Well, we're sure as hell not in Kansas anymore. 1.2308 0.04096 117 91 25 1
1167 Here? Where? 1.2308 0.04291 143 116 21 6
1168 As predicted, it seems they're leaderless and wandering around aimlessly. 1.2308 0.04573 130 106 18 6
1169 We came from 236 million light years away and the Apple Store is closed. 1.2308 0.04174 143 115 23 5
1170 We’re here! Good to know. I thought we were there. Phew! 1.2308 0.04514 143 118 17 8
1171 You left the location sharing on again. 1.2308 0.03931 143 113 27 3
1172 Who do you think Victoria is and what is her Secret? 1.2303 0.03904 165 133 26 6
1173 Translation: "I thought the brochure said this planet was clothing optional." 1.2302 0.04370 139 113 20 6
1174 Unbelievable! We traveled 3 light years only to discover Cinnabon is in bankruptcy! 1.2302 0.04249 139 112 22 5
1175 They must have a very sophisticated tracking device. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
1176 No sign of leaders office. But there’s a Starbucks! 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
1177 We could have bought it on line . 1.2302 0.04933 126 105 13 8
1178 Actually, I'm pretty sure I'd like to kill humanity even more now. 1.2302 0.04668 126 103 17 6
1179 E.T.go Home Hardware 1.2297 0.04190 148 120 22 6
1180 Do you by chance remember where we parked? 1.2296 0.04454 135 110 19 6
1181 There’s a food court… Will they send us to prison for eating??? 1.2296 0.04454 135 110 19 6
1182 This is the last time that we drive all the way here just to shop for clothes. 1.2292 0.04148 144 116 23 5
1183 As suspected ... a lost species with a limited ability to perceive things beyond their present circumstance. 1.2292 0.04376 144 118 19 7
1184 Let’s we start with someone to eat. 1.2290 0.04542 131 107 18 6
1185 As art it doesn't move me. 1.2290 0.04669 131 108 16 7
1186 This mall is flat 1.2290 0.04542 131 107 18 6
1187 Cinnabon? That sounds like an element we could use. 1.2290 0.04542 131 107 18 6
1188 Take us to your theater. 1.2286 0.04098 140 112 24 4
1189 How much have ya got on you? 1.2283 0.04060 127 100 25 2
1190 Where? 1.2283 0.04635 127 104 17 6
1191 If you would have worn your fanny pack, you wouldn’t have to go back to the spaceship for your credit card. 1.2283 0.04357 127 102 21 4
1192 Let's find the Abercrombie & Fitch - their clothes fit us perfectly. 1.2282 0.04677 149 126 12 11
1193 It really makes you feel insignificant when you see it like this. 1.2276 0.04591 123 100 18 5
1194 I may not understand - are you ‘YOU’, or are you ‘HERE’? 1.2276 0.04734 123 101 16 6
1195 ‘I thought these places were extinct?’ 1.2276 0.04443 123 99 20 4
1196 We better hit up SUNGLASSES HUT first. 1.2273 0.04381 132 107 20 5
1197 What do you mean you have something to return? 1.2273 0.04511 132 108 18 6
1198 .”I can’t believe Sharper Image is gone !” 1.2273 0.04274 154 127 19 8
1199 Last mall on the planet Earth 1.2270 0.04195 141 114 22 5
1200 You bring me 47 light years and you want to go shopping? 1.2270 0.03946 141 112 26 3
1201 That's oddly specific. 1.2269 0.04839 119 98 15 6
1202 Hey! They have Wetzel's Pretzels on this planet, too. 1.2269 0.04375 119 95 21 3
1203 Uh… Look under “L” for “leader”. 1.2269 0.04209 119 94 23 2
1204 I think we made a wrong turn at Alpha Centauri. 1.2266 0.04466 128 104 19 5
1205 So where is the gender-neutral restroom? 1.2266 0.04327 128 103 21 4
1206 You said, and I quote, ‘Show me their most antiquated technology.’ 1.2266 0.04602 128 105 17 6
1207 The forbidden zone is an area you can never escape from. It’s called IKEA. 1.2266 0.04602 128 105 17 6
1208 Doesn't that seem obvious? 1.2266 0.04327 128 103 21 4
1209 It looks like the engine repair is not going to happen now that Radio Shack is gone 1.2266 0.04327 128 103 21 4
1210 I thought they were more advanced than this. 1.2264 0.03882 159 128 26 5
1211 We forgot to validate the parking. 1.2263 0.04012 137 109 25 3
1212 I believe this is what the natives refer to as "abstract art." 1.2263 0.04747 137 115 13 9
1213 Can we stop at Starbucks before we get their leader? 1.2263 0.04395 137 112 19 6
1214 Let's go to "You Are Here" so we know where we are. 1.2263 0.04395 137 112 19 6
1215 We traveled HOW FAR? And No Orange Julius!?! 1.2263 0.04143 137 110 23 4
1216 Great. Spent too long close to the speed of light, and now we've missed the skinny jeans epoch. 1.2261 0.04950 115 95 14 6
1217 I warned you we were entering a black hole. 1.2261 0.04464 115 92 20 3
1218 My gosh!! Such a hostile planet! Now that they’ve identified us, they’re telling everyone our location! 1.2260 0.04211 146 119 21 6
1219 Do you think we will get in trouble for parking on the roof? 1.2260 0.04535 146 122 15 9
1220 They have a Uniqlo too. 1.2260 0.04097 146 118 23 5
1221 Looks like we showed up too late for RadioShack. 1.2258 0.04699 124 102 16 6
1222 What’s a You Are? 1.2258 0.04699 124 102 16 6
1223 Change of plans. Clothing first, then cinnamon buns. 1.2258 0.04557 124 101 18 5
1224 I told you the gap wasn’t an anomaly in the space-time continuum. 1.2258 0.04557 124 101 18 5
1225 It appears humans are predominantly concerned about women’s clothing. 1.2258 0.04557 124 101 18 5
1226 Looks like the flat earth conspiracy is true. 1.2258 0.04347 155 129 17 9
1227 It appears we’ve arrived too late to save the Rainforest Cafes. 1.2258 0.04411 124 100 20 4
1228 Yeah, but where are we? 1.2256 0.04218 133 107 22 4
1229 We better go, the humans know we are here. 1.2256 0.03939 133 105 26 2
1230 Hot Topic. 2nd floor. We’ll blend right in. 1.2256 0.04218 133 107 22 4
1231 This place smells of sadness. Let’s just order it from Amazon. 1.2256 0.04351 133 108 20 5
1232 I didn’t know it was possible for one entity to have so many frivolous needs. 1.2254 0.04401 142 117 18 7
1233 I was hoping there’d be a Talbots. 1.2250 0.04945 120 100 13 7
1234 You should have seen her expression when you took out your credit card. 1.2250 0.04945 120 100 13 7
1235 First, clothing at Urban Outfitters, then we lease an outer space. 1.2248 0.04435 129 105 19 5
1236 One more lap around the mall and I've got my steps in for the day, 1.2248 0.04435 129 105 19 5
1237 I told you we shouldn’t turn right at Albuquerque. 1.2248 0.04435 129 105 19 5
1238 I think we took a wrong turn at Albuquerque. 1.2246 0.04243 138 112 21 5
1239 Darn. I left my coupons at home. 1.2245 0.04185 147 120 21 6
1240 And you thought space was empty! 1.2241 0.04429 116 93 20 3
1241 Oh no, I don't see Area 51 on the map, now where do we go? 1.2240 0.04074 125 99 24 2
1242 I thought we were supposed to land at a strip mall. 1.2240 0.04524 125 102 18 5
1243 Did we turn off the stove? 1.2240 0.04230 125 100 22 3
1244 What do you mean you don’t know how to read a map? 1.2240 0.04524 125 102 18 5
1245 Trust me, it’s cheaper to fly down here than pay for shipping. 1.2239 0.04449 134 110 18 6
1246 Who cares about intelligent life? They have hot dogs on sticks! 1.2239 0.04322 134 109 20 5
1247 I can't believe this place still exists. 1.2239 0.04322 134 109 20 5
1248 If I knew the Hammacher Schlemmer was now on-line only, I wouldn't have made the trip. Let's get some Burger Chef to go. 1.2238 0.04259 143 117 20 6
1249 Yes, but why are we really here? 1.2238 0.04259 143 117 20 6
1250 I didn’t expect us to get lost in this kind of space! 1.2237 0.03757 152 121 28 3
1251 What's the sign for 'Restrooms' on this planet again 1.2231 0.04667 130 108 15 7
1252 I think we should have split that edible. 1.2231 0.04916 130 110 11 9
1253 Getting in was easy. How do we get out? 1.2231 0.04267 130 105 21 4
1254 Clothes! I think first we need clothes . 1.2230 0.03960 139 111 25 3
1255 Wow! They even have to be told where they are. 1.2230 0.04456 139 115 17 7
1256 You you or me you? 1.2230 0.04337 139 114 19 6
1257 Do you think they have a 30,000 light year return policy? 1.2230 0.04456 139 115 17 7
1258 Why do they always make it so hard to find the damned bathroom? 1.2230 0.04215 139 113 21 5
1259 I think we're in the wrong place. 1.2230 0.04215 139 113 21 5
1260 I thought these were extinct 1.2230 0.04048 148 120 23 5
1261 But which way is home? 1.2222 0.04419 135 111 18 6
1262 Because I need a hat. I'm always cold without a hat. 1.2222 0.04233 144 118 20 6
1263 What's a "rest room?" 1.2222 0.03746 144 114 28 2
1264 This makes me feel so alienated! 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1265 I think that Earth Travel Guide is seriously out of date. Not one person is wearing a Palm Frond. 1.2222 0.04293 135 110 20 5
1266 Is this a sign of intelligent life?" 1.2222 0.04348 126 102 20 4
1267 So we know where we are, but I wonder if anyone one else has ever forgotten where they parked their vehicle? 1.2222 0.04293 135 110 20 5
1268 If we can't beam up a bovine, can we at least build a bear?” 1.2222 0.04631 126 104 16 6
1269 We came 23 light years and we can't even find the bathroom? 1.2222 0.04272 153 127 18 8
1270 I'm cold. Lets go to that store that sells space heaters. 1.2222 0.04348 126 102 20 4
1271 We need a new GPS 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1272 That’s good to know. 1.2222 0.04046 126 100 24 2
1273 Let’s do some shopping and meet back here in a light year. 1.2222 0.04233 144 118 20 6
1274 I guess we should start with that clothing store 1.2222 0.04162 135 109 22 4
1275 I told you. 1.2214 0.04309 140 115 19 6
1276 So where do we start? Ladies ready-to-wear or Men’s casual? 1.2214 0.04309 140 115 19 6
1277 They really did lose hold after the Picasso era. 1.2214 0.04374 131 107 19 5
1278 they are going to be suspicious that we don't cast shadows 1.2214 0.04097 131 105 23 3
1279 I prefer the Twilight Zone. 1.2214 0.03951 131 104 25 2
1280 It may be a map, but I still feel lost in space. 1.2213 0.04871 122 102 13 7
1281 I don't need to be human to know that is horrible graphic design! 1.2213 0.04279 122 98 21 3
1282 This is a terrible map. I see now why so many earthlings think the earth is flat 1.2213 0.04279 122 98 21 3
1283 Now our cover is blown. They know where we are! 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
1284 I know we are “Here”, but Where Are We Going? 1.2208 0.03826 154 124 26 4
1285 It appears that the Nordstrom Hegemony controls almost the entirety of the Alpha Quadrant." 1.2208 0.04146 154 127 20 7
1286 Who is Victoria and why does she have a secret? 1.2207 0.04206 145 119 20 6
1287 If we are here, then where is their leader? 1.2207 0.04318 145 120 18 7
1288 Why do the men and the women go to the same restaurants but different rest rooms? 1.2205 0.04317 127 103 20 4
1289 They talk about it, but they don't really understand how the multiverse works, do they? 1.2205 0.04317 127 103 20 4
1290 Information Insufficient. 1.2205 0.04317 127 103 20 4
1291 I’m not making it up. I swear this used to be a cow field. 1.2205 0.04317 127 103 20 4
1292 If it's secret then why is Victoria in the directory? 1.2203 0.04362 118 95 20 3
1293 See if it zooms out. 1.2203 0.04193 118 94 22 2
1294 I wish we’d never heard of Panera. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
1295 And this is where your parents named you, Commander Warby Parker? 1.2199 0.04623 141 119 13 9
1296 How can they tell us where we are with a two dimensional map?? 1.2199 0.04281 141 116 19 6
1297 Malls are dying, and ‘fulfillment centers’ are coming to Mars.” 1.2199 0.04038 141 114 23 4
1298 This was much busier last time we were here. 1.2197 0.04069 132 106 23 3
1299 But can't you get it cheaper online? 1.2195 0.04248 123 99 21 3
1300 “I’m not seeing ‘leader’ on here, do you think we should ask?” 1.2195 0.04402 123 100 19 4
1301 On our planet that store is called Bed, Bath and Here 1.2195 0.04695 123 102 15 6
1302 Anything we pick will be three trillion years out of style back home. 1.2195 0.04402 123 100 19 4
1303 We finally make it to the Sunglass Hut and it occurs to me, we don’t have ears. 1.2193 0.04787 114 94 15 5
1304 Do your thing, I'll wait here. 1.2193 0.04946 114 95 13 6
1305 Dang this planet doesn’t have orange Julius anymore either 1.2193 0.04451 114 92 19 3
1306 We travel 3 million light years only to find out that Filene's Basement is closed 1.2192 0.04400 146 122 16 8
1307 We are light years away from the food court. 1.2190 0.04482 137 114 16 7
1308 No, first look at clothing stores, then we can go to the food court. 1.2190 0.04236 137 112 20 5
1309 How do we zoom out? 1.2188 0.04565 128 106 16 6
1310 Where is Area 51? 1.2188 0.04141 128 103 22 3
1311 I guess we fell into the gap. 1.2188 0.03990 128 102 24 2
1312 Remember: We're looking for alien-friendly, anatomically-neutral clothing. 1.2185 0.03746 151 121 27 3
1313 They already are wise to us. 1.2185 0.04162 119 95 22 2
1314 Getting sunglasses will make us less conspicuous. 1.2183 0.04254 142 117 19 6
1315 Ah, there's the problem. We're supposed to go There. 1.2180 0.04444 133 110 17 6
1316 I can circumnavigate deep space but I have no idea how to find H&M. 1.2180 0.04571 133 111 15 7
1317 If this is the start, I don’t think I want to know where it ends 1.2180 0.04314 133 109 19 5
1318 Returns? Maybe? 1.2177 0.04799 124 104 13 7
1319 Why did we come here again? 1.2177 0.04660 124 103 15 6
1320 I'm beginning to think their no questions asked return policy was a scam. 1.2177 0.04217 124 100 21 3
1321 They were right. Long Island really is the worst. 1.2177 0.04517 124 102 17 5
1322 Are you sure this is the right galaxy? You never ask for directions. 1.2177 0.04370 124 101 19 4
1323 What do you suppose a "Fuddrucker" is? 1.2177 0.04040 147 120 22 5
1324 I think we parked by that section there... the area marked 51. 1.2177 0.04154 147 121 20 6
1325 Okay, there's the Piercing Pagoda. But I still don't know what you're gonna pierce. 1.2174 0.04080 138 112 22 4
1326 The Arcade? I’ve always wanted to play Area 51 1.2174 0.04240 115 92 21 2
1327 Where’s the restroom? 1.2171 0.04060 152 125 21 6
1328 We better start with finding clothes. 1.2171 0.03724 152 122 27 3
1329 Our invisibility shield must be broken! 1.2171 0.04257 129 105 20 4
1330 Did you tell? 1.2171 0.04112 129 104 22 3
1331 I think we came in through another dimension. 1.2171 0.04257 129 105 20 4
1332 Why aren't the damn planets labeled? 1.2171 0.03962 129 103 24 2
1333 Step 1: Pants. Step 2: Rule the planet. Mwahahaha… Time out. Soft pretzel. Then pants. 1.2170 0.05017 106 88 13 5
1334 Left my wallet in the ship, I'll meet you in the food court. 1.2170 0.04645 106 86 17 3
1335 It said Earth, I swear. 1.2168 0.04342 143 119 17 7
1336 Perhaps we can unwrap the mysteries of this planet at Victoria’s Secret. 1.2167 0.04611 120 99 16 5
1337 We know where we are, but where are the phones!? 1.2167 0.04906 120 101 12 7
1338 Oy.....Another black hole! 1.2167 0.04131 120 96 22 2
1339 Why can they never just show you where their leader is? Why do they make us ask every single time? 1.2167 0.04131 120 96 22 2
1340 This makes you realize how incredibly big the shopping center is! 1.2164 0.04152 134 109 21 4
1341 I knew we shoulda made that left turn at Albuquerque. 1.2164 0.04285 134 110 19 5
1342 We saw we the bed, we saw the bath, but I think they were out of the beyond 1.2162 0.03780 148 119 26 3
1343 How do they know you are here? 1.2162 0.04508 111 90 18 3
1344 Remember, Cinnabons, cargo pants, Ray-Bans. 1.2160 0.04338 125 102 19 4
1345 Where is “leader” labeled? 1.2160 0.04030 125 100 23 2
1346 The orders said to find their leader in White House after landing on the mall, not at the mall 1.2160 0.04187 125 101 21 3
1347 I hope their leader is close to the bubble tea spot. 1.2160 0.04338 125 102 19 4
1348 I we are here, where in this world is there. 1.2158 0.04054 139 113 22 4
1349 Where can we buy Earth Shoes? 1.2158 0.04054 139 113 22 4
1350 Too existential…let’s blur 1.2155 0.04550 116 95 17 4
1351 Even they don't know where they are. 1.2154 0.04366 130 107 18 5
1352 Why do they insist on naming us "here?" 1.2154 0.04501 130 108 16 6
1353 Can you zoom it out? 1.2154 0.04501 130 108 16 6
1354 This isn't helping me find where we parked. 1.2154 0.04227 130 106 20 4
1355 But where are OUR bathrooms? 1.2152 0.04244 158 133 16 9
1356 How's that even possible? 1.2149 0.04725 121 101 14 6
1357 I've never liked plaid. 1.2149 0.04577 121 100 16 5
1358 We found out way to the planet, but this is impossible. 1.2149 0.03929 121 96 24 1
1359 Do you think they take traveller's's cheques? 1.2149 0.04725 121 101 14 6
1360 RadioShack should have it 1.2149 0.04424 121 99 18 4
1361 Look For a space station, or maybe a Shake Shack. 1.2148 0.03988 135 109 23 3
1362 We need to acquire pants promptly, or security will have us arrested again. 1.2143 0.04028 140 114 22 4
1363 Dang! These are the same stores we have back home! 1.2143 0.04307 126 103 19 4
1364 Those moving stairs scare the bejesus out of me. 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
1365 Look! New Yorkers are always one step ahead. They tell us where we are before we've even arrived. 1.2143 0.04728 126 106 13 7
1366 No, I don't remember where we parked. I thought you knew." 1.2143 0.04275 140 116 18 6
1367 Very 2001. 1.2143 0.04307 126 103 19 4
1368 Isn't this why we sent one of our own?" "I hear he goes by 'Bezos' on this planet. 1.2143 0.04157 126 102 21 3
1369 I think this map misses the bigger picture. 1.2137 0.04469 131 109 16 6
1370 Let's order from Amazon and go home. 1.2137 0.03908 131 105 24 2
1371 Of course when we go the mall naked we run into the ONE person who still shops in person. 1.2137 0.04198 131 107 20 4
1372 Honey, I really gotta pee. 1.2137 0.04336 131 108 18 5
1373 We're screwed. None of these shapes looks like the planet Earth. 1.2137 0.04198 131 107 20 4
1374 No wonder they haven't been able to find us yet! 1.2137 0.04175 117 94 21 2
1375 Wait, where did we park the spaceship? 1.2137 0.03806 117 92 25 0
1376 Look, these humans actually need a sign to learn where they are at this moment. 1.2137 0.04514 117 96 17 4
1377 Clothing? 1.2137 0.03995 117 93 23 1
1378 This place is deader than the 4th Nebula of Tartoomi, and that’s saying something. 1.2137 0.04514 117 96 17 4
1379 Food Court" must be where the king resides 1.2137 0.04348 117 95 19 3
1380 And how does this help us find out where we parked our safer? 1.2137 0.04175 117 94 21 2
1381 Space exploration was a breeze compared to this. 1.2137 0.04348 117 95 19 3
1382 You are here? Of course we here. Where else would we be? Silly humans. 1.2137 0.04348 117 95 19 3
1383 And they complain about Mercury being retrograde 1.2136 0.05098 103 86 12 5
1384 its easier to navigate the galaxy than this awful mall 1.2132 0.04228 136 112 19 5
1385 These humans have systems and capacities beyond anything we are capable of. 1.2131 0.04689 122 102 14 6
1386 For some reason every human we probe ends up working here. 1.2131 0.04234 122 99 20 3
1387 Anywhere but Chik-Fil-A. 1.2130 0.05104 108 91 11 6
1388 Oh, sure! But it doesn't say which universe! 1.2130 0.04171 108 86 21 1
1389 I wonder if this “J Crew” could be some sort of meeting place for us? But how would they already know we’re from Jupiter? 1.2128 0.03873 141 114 24 3
1390 I can't find the bathroom anywhere... Can't you just hold it in until we get back to our home planet? 1.2128 0.03873 141 114 24 3
1391 It's only two-dimensional! 1.2126 0.04420 127 105 17 5
1392 If you were an intergalactic fugitive, where would you hide? 1.2126 0.04127 127 103 21 3
1393 First stop should be Sunglass Hut, so we can blend in. 1.2126 0.04953 127 109 9 9
1394 I told you we were being tracked. 1.2126 0.04559 127 106 15 6
1395 I've never really ever felt like I've belonged anywhere before. 1.2126 0.04420 127 105 17 5
1396 So much for AI, we’re lost. 1.2126 0.04127 127 103 21 3
1397 Sorry, I accidentally set the time travel dial to 1992! 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
1398 The reviews said the place was out of this world 1.2124 0.04941 113 95 12 6
1399 In what universe was coming to this fashion desert a good idea? 1.2124 0.04611 113 93 16 4
1400 I’m gravitating towards ordering it online. 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
1401 We are here but where is their leader? 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
1402 So this is the center of the universe? 1.2123 0.04260 146 122 17 7
1403 Oh my, Roswell has changed since we last were here. 1.2123 0.04032 146 120 21 5
1404 Star-bucks? Is that where mom said to meet her? 1.2121 0.04028 132 107 22 3
1405 Looks like the Gonads Store is across from the Apple Store. 1.2121 0.04692 132 112 12 8
1406 Why so many clothing shops? 1.2121 0.04028 132 107 22 3
1407 Whales have much more advanced communication skills. 1.2121 0.04169 132 108 20 4
1408 Are you sure this is where the cool aliens hang out? 1.2119 0.03965 118 94 23 1
1409 From all the stories I've heard, I thought the Roswell mall would be more impressive. 1.2119 0.04315 118 96 19 3
1410 That’s not what the government says. 1.2119 0.04638 118 98 15 5
1411 If we are here where is everyone else? 1.2119 0.04480 118 97 17 4
1412 This will take us to their leading retailers. 1.2119 0.03965 118 94 23 1
1413 So what? Let's go home. 1.2117 0.03936 137 111 23 3
1414 Take me to your Lululemon 1.2117 0.04200 137 113 19 5
1415 When we're done evaporating the humans can I get an Orange Julius? 1.2117 0.04683 137 117 11 9
1416 🔽🔼◀️▶️⏪️⏩️⏮️⏭️↔️↖️↙️⬅️⬇️🔼◀️🔽↘️➡️🔽🔼◀️⏬️⬅️⬇️↕️↔️ 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1417 Oh, sure,” you said, “turn right at Alpha Centauri.” Does this look like Santranginus V? Just because you’re a man, you couldn’t look at a map 1.2114 0.04509 123 102 16 5
1418 Their tech is more advanced than we thought” 1.2114 0.04358 123 101 18 4
1419 OK, now let’s see where that ET&T store is so we can phone home. 1.2114 0.04795 123 104 12 7
1420 I heard Macy's is having a sale. 1.2113 0.03977 142 116 22 4
1421 Orange Julious is gone?!? So we traveled 367 million light years for nothing… 1.2113 0.04670 142 122 10 10
1422 I thought we were aliens! 1.2110 0.04890 109 91 13 5
1423 Well, that doesn't really help. 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
1424 Why cant we ever just ASK for directions? 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
1425 You wanted strange. It was either this or Walmart. 1.2109 0.04526 128 107 15 6
1426 Where did you land for God’s sake?! 1.2109 0.04388 128 106 17 5
1427 I told you it must be an existential species. 1.2109 0.04388 128 106 17 5
1428 I thought you said we’d be low key. They already know we’re here! 1.2109 0.04246 128 105 19 4
1429 I see no signs for toilets, but it seems earthlings need a lot of rest. 1.2105 0.04740 114 95 14 5
1430 I told you they were on to us! 1.2105 0.04901 114 96 12 6
1431 It was not so complicated during our last visit, when everything was in caves. 1.2105 0.04276 133 110 18 5
1432 Looks like this planetary system revolves around food 1.2105 0.03920 152 125 22 5
1433 First, let’s cover ourselves so they stop asking how we have sex. 1.2105 0.04408 133 111 16 6
1434 Clothes. I don't care where, just get me some clothes. 1.2105 0.04141 133 109 20 4
1435 Wait…no more Bed, Bath & Beyond? 1.2105 0.04401 114 93 18 3
1436 No McDonalds? They said you can get EVERYTHING here! 1.2105 0.04574 114 94 16 4
1437 Meet me in the Food Court in about 76326 keezonks, give or take, I’m desperate for a poke bowl. 1.2101 0.03910 138 112 23 3
1438 What did the earthling mean by "No shoes, no shirt, no pants--no service?" I thought this was a clothing store! 1.2101 0.04112 119 96 21 2
1439 Before Amazon, the whole place was all-you-can-eat. 1.2101 0.04445 119 98 17 4
1440 Yikes! Talk about the emptiness of space… 1.2101 0.04445 119 98 17 4
1441 Try to avoid escalators — they make me nervous. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
1442 Why do we need to know where we are? It's the journey, not the destination. 1.2098 0.04422 143 121 14 8
1443 So where do we find Taylor Swift? 1.2098 0.03951 143 117 22 4
1444 Getting here from Andromeda was a piece of cake. Finding a restroom. . .not so much. 1.2097 0.03845 124 99 24 1
1445 I guess we should head to Planet Hollywood? 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
1446 I can’t understand any map that has less than 7 dimensions showing; how do they deal with only 2? 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
1447 Again with the Starbucks? 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
1448 Yes I know we're out of money, but I don't think "Starbucks" is what you think it is. 1.2093 0.04357 129 107 17 5
1449 Let's go home. This place sucks. 1.2093 0.04216 129 106 19 4
1450 I say we move on to a planet with more atmosphere. 1.2093 0.04070 129 105 21 3
1451 Lost and Found is on the 3rd Floor. 1.2093 0.04216 129 106 19 4
1452 Forget it. Even our Galactic Positioning System is useless here. 1.2093 0.04357 129 107 17 5
1453 Their form of GPS seems very archaic. 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
1454 I think we missed the sale!! 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
1455 Ahem... Take us to your restrooms. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
1456 Earth was easier to find than the Nike store" 1.2091 0.04104 110 88 21 1
1457 You are here"? But, are we really 1.2090 0.04627 134 114 12 8
1458 What about the food court that claims "Out of this world burgers and fries"? 1.2090 0.03974 134 109 22 3
1459 It's a trap—they want us to shop till we drop. 1.2087 0.04366 115 94 18 3
1460 Maybe we'll find what we need in the 'Beyond' section. 1.2087 0.04366 115 94 18 3
1461 They ... have ... captured ... our souls! 1.2087 0.04862 115 97 12 6
1462 No shirt, no shoes, no service. But how can we get shirts and shoes if they won’t give us service? This planet isn’t primitive, it’s just plain dumb. 1.2087 0.04188 115 93 20 2
1463 Dammit. I left my credit card at home. 1.2086 0.04268 139 116 17 6
1464 Are they kidding? It’s easier to find a star in our galaxy. 1.2083 0.04568 120 100 15 5
1465 So, women's shoes, huh? No problem, I just never knew. 1.2083 0.04568 120 100 15 5
1466 The "Beyond" section was a real disappointment. 1.2083 0.04568 120 100 15 5
1467 Let's go get some clothes so we fit in better! 1.2083 0.04568 120 100 15 5
1468 Hmm. Can you remember which car park we left the saucer in? 1.2083 0.04082 120 97 21 2
1469 First, let's find a clothing store! 1.2083 0.04282 144 121 16 7
1470 If we don't find a washroom soon,I'm gonna shzpritzill myself! 1.2080 0.03983 125 101 22 2
1471 Let's check it out. But try to be inconspicuous. 1.2080 0.04724 125 106 12 7
1472 We're not even close to the White House. 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
1473 But how does it fly? 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
1474 Now I know what feeling lost means. 1.2080 0.04142 125 102 20 3
1475 Ok. So I’ll grab her bags and you take her head. 1.2080 0.04724 125 106 12 7
1476 Forty million light years and no Pottery Barn?? 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
1477 We traveled a billion miles for this? 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
1478 Which way to the pickleball court? 1.2078 0.04087 154 129 18 7
1479 I told you they speak lego! 1.2077 0.04327 130 108 17 5
1480 I'm starting to think you flew us into that black hole after all! 1.2077 0.04327 130 108 17 5
1481 Where’s the clothing-optional area? 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
1482 You know what would go nicely here? A Cinnabon. 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
1483 Sure, but where did we park the saucer. 1.2075 0.04780 106 88 14 4
1484 Oh no. We traveled to the second dimension. 1.2074 0.04085 135 111 20 4
1485 The last part of the journey is always the longest. 1.2074 0.03948 135 110 22 3
1486 ejsy yjr jr;9 od hpomh pm stpimf jrtr??? Ejsy fprd oy rbrm dsu. smf ejsy fprd ]jrtr\rbrn mrsnz// Yhid plsnry id vtsxy!!!! 1.2074 0.04219 135 112 18 5
1487 Sorry, I forgot where we parked. 1.2072 0.04809 111 93 13 5
1488 Wow, they have Cheescake Factory on this planet too. 1.2072 0.04809 111 93 13 5
1489 Harold, I think we made a wrong turn. Mom said not to go past Venus without pants for a reason. 1.2072 0.04976 111 94 11 6
1490 That's the worst map of the galaxy I have ever seen. 1.2072 0.04635 111 92 15 4
1491 How dare they to tell us where we are. 1.2071 0.04241 140 117 17 6
1492 Who wears all this crap? 1.2069 0.03648 145 117 26 2
1493 ”What happened to ‘Monkey Wards’? 1.2069 0.04823 116 98 12 6
1494 But I thought Apple was a fruit 1.2069 0.03777 116 92 24 0
1495 Darn GPS. 1.2066 0.04378 121 100 17 4
1496 The Cinnabon here is out of this world. 1.2063 0.03955 126 102 22 2
1497 Drat! The humans have determined our location. 1.2063 0.04112 126 103 20 3
1498 "She said Nordstrom is her Mother Ship" 1.2063 0.03955 126 102 22 2
1499 Hmmm. ET said to turn left at the Cinnabon stand. 1.2063 0.04112 126 103 20 3
1500 Damn it, Zorvax, Cinnabon is on the other side. 1.2063 0.04823 126 108 10 8
1501 It seems we’ve arrived at the center of the super-massive black hole of wanton materialism our scientists predict will eventually consume this primitive species and reduce it to puddles of ectoplasm. 1.2063 0.04689 126 107 12 7
1502 They call our planet Spencer Gifts. 1.2063 0.04264 126 104 18 4
1503 So no skinny jeans. Got it. 1.2063 0.04264 126 104 18 4
1504 This Crate & Barrel better have that blanket you want. 1.2061 0.04014 131 107 21 3
1505 If this is your idea of an adventurous date, I am not impressed. 1.2061 0.04157 131 108 19 4
1506 The Cheese Cake Factory or Panara? 1.2061 0.04431 131 110 15 6
1507 We could have parked a little closer in Lot A, but no, you had to take the first open spot. 1.2061 0.04431 131 110 15 6
1508 Ooooo let’s go see the depressed retail workers next! 1.2061 0.04431 131 110 15 6
1509 They closed Spencer’s?! 1.2059 0.04563 136 116 12 8
1510 I'll take their word for it, but that's not a galaxy I recognize. 1.2059 0.04190 136 113 18 5
1511 This is harder than interplanetary navigation! 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1512 Well, they have incredibly small eyes and strange-looking genitalia. 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
1513 Error alert. Spelling matters. Our mission to ‘maul’ humankind. 1.2057 0.04091 141 117 19 5
1514 We could start with underwear. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
1515 Shadow casting is so cool. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
1516 If this their idea of not getting lost, no wonder why they haven't found us yet. 1.2056 0.04739 107 89 14 4
1517 I KNOW I got us here, but for the life of me I can’t figure out where the Starbucks is… 1.2054 0.04419 112 92 17 3
1518 Would you please just ask someone to take us to their leader? 1.2054 0.04039 112 90 21 1
1519 Very funny, Zork. Now beam down our clothes. 1.2054 0.04769 112 94 13 5
1520 Retail still exists on this planet? 1.2054 0.04419 112 92 17 3
1521 I wish we had one of these on Alpha Centauri. 1.2051 0.04298 117 96 18 3
1522 Mystery solved. It appears that we have landed on planet 'Forever 21'. 1.2051 0.04298 117 96 18 3
1523 How do think I'd look in yoga pants? 1.2051 0.04298 117 96 18 3
1524 I think we're done with your navigation skills. 1.2049 0.04346 122 101 17 4
1525 Stare at it all you want it will never tell you where you parked the POD 1.2049 0.04499 122 102 15 5
1526 Jeez, Gombek, I said Star Trek, not Starbucks! 1.2047 0.04083 127 104 20 3
1527 Don't you feel we're a bit overdressed for this place? 1.2047 0.04378 127 106 16 5
1528 I heard Hot Topic has a mug with your face on it". 1.2047 0.04233 127 105 18 4
1529 What's "lingerie?" 1.2047 0.04233 127 105 18 4
1530 What a waste, we could have just bought all this same crap online. 1.2047 0.04655 127 108 12 7
1531 This looks nothing like our galaxy. 1.2047 0.04083 127 104 20 3
1532 That Abercrombie model looks like Cousin Kuyuk. 1.2045 0.03986 132 108 21 3
1533 What other proof do you need? It’s flat. 1.2045 0.04129 132 109 19 4
1534 Take me to their loss leader. 1.2045 0.04267 132 110 17 5
1535 No they won’t beam you up…you’ve got to follow the map!!! 1.2044 0.04162 137 114 18 5
1536 No, we can’t go back for your Dippin’ Dots loyalty card. 1.2044 0.04031 137 113 20 4
1537 All I said was "Take me to your leader". Why did she laugh so hard? 1.2042 0.04303 142 120 15 7
1538 No wonder we call them the lost planet. 1.2042 0.03940 142 117 21 4
1539 We traveled 18 light years and this is where we end up? 1.2042 0.04065 142 118 19 5
1540 Do you see Spencer’s? 1.2042 0.03811 142 116 23 3
1541 Looks like there are restrooms for everyone except us aliens 1.2041 0.03854 147 121 22 4
1542 According to the movies we need a Speak & Spell, a circular saw blade, a foil lined umbrella, a wooden coat hanger, a record player, a paper clip and some chewing gum 1.2041 0.04201 147 124 16 7
1543 I can't see Uranus 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
1544 Now, where are these Earth girls I've heard so much about? 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
1545 I told you not to turn left at mars 1.2037 0.04880 108 91 12 5
1546 The Earthlings' advanced technology has pinpointed our precise location! 1.2035 0.04383 113 93 17 3
1547 Look at all this empty space 1.2035 0.04730 113 95 13 5
1548 If we buy clothes, they'll never notice us! 1.2035 0.04560 113 94 15 4
1549 I don't think our GPS worked. 1.2035 0.04730 113 95 13 5
1550 I guess knowledge isn’t power after all. 1.2035 0.04199 113 92 19 2
1551 Are you sure? I can’t hold any longer! 1.2034 0.04092 118 96 20 2
1552 I don’t know who Victoria is, Xrghlax, but I think she knows our secret. 1.2034 0.04265 118 97 18 3
1553 This is the 87th Lids we’ve been to and they STILL don’t have my size in a Yankees cap. 1.2034 0.04265 118 97 18 3
1554 Look Golar! They know we are here?! 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1555 It looks interesting, but I don't see anything about clothing optional. 1.2033 0.04612 123 104 13 6
1556 But where’s the birthday suit accessories section? 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1557 How would they know ? 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1558 The last time I ate at a human food court it caused me to have a molecular breakdown. 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1559 We made it this far and can’t find a Cinnabun? 1.2033 0.04754 123 105 11 7
1560 We haven’t been to Planet Fitness yet. 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
1561 I told you the Sharper Image went out of business 1.2033 0.04892 123 106 9 8
1562 We need a map of the GALAXY, not a map of the MALL! 1.2033 0.03992 123 100 21 2
1563 How do they know where we are?!? 1.2031 0.04203 128 106 18 4
1564 Looks like we've landed on planet Sbarro. 1.2031 0.04347 128 107 16 5
1565 Gee, and I thought your spaceship was hard to navigate, Frank. 1.2031 0.04054 128 105 20 3
1566 Oh, man— Probes n’ Stuff closed! 1.2031 0.04054 128 105 20 3
1567 Finally - the map to a black hole!” 1.2031 0.04486 128 108 14 6
1568 Ice cream and handbags? Works for me. 1.2030 0.04100 133 110 19 4
1569 When we started our trip, there definitely was a Sam Goody's here. 1.2030 0.04237 133 111 17 5
1570 .... so, where am I? 1.2030 0.03959 133 109 21 3
1571 They call that fashion! What on earth are they thinking! 1.2030 0.03959 133 109 21 3
1572 I still don't understand where "here" is, though. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
1573 My mom doesn’t know I snuck off world so let’s make this quick 1.2026 0.03974 153 128 19 6
1574 I said ‘plug in your phone’, but you said ‘noOOooo’, you knew exactly where we were going. Now here we are. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
1575 I thought there was a Cinnabon! 1.2018 0.04474 109 90 16 3
1576 I don't this this map will get us home. 1.2018 0.04474 109 90 16 3
1577 Really, is this your idea of an out-of-this-world date night? 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
1578 I thought you said this was Alpha Centauri 1.2018 0.04474 109 90 16 3
1579 You’ve already proven you can’t read maps. 1.2018 0.05011 109 93 10 6
1580 Do you think we can pay with star bucks? 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
1581 Well that explains it. 1.2018 0.03775 114 91 23 0
1582 I told you this location no longer has a RadioShack. 1.2018 0.04524 114 95 15 4
1583 What, NO Radio Shack? 1.2018 0.04349 114 94 17 3
1584 I think it is easier to find Pluto than Penny's 1.2017 0.04061 119 97 20 2
1585 Last year we spent all of 4 seconds putting in a crop circle, and in one year they've built a mall right over it. They have no respect for time. 1.2017 0.03882 119 96 22 1
1586 Shoot! They alreadky know we're here. 1.2017 0.04398 119 99 16 4
1587 I was given explicit instructions to abduct two human specimens from Earth’s most toxic habitat. Now help me find something called Walmart. 1.2016 0.04578 124 105 13 6
1588 It's called, 'Carvel' and I heard they have 'flying saucers.' 1.2016 0.04173 129 107 18 4
1589 Is this what humans call an “Andy Warhol?” 1.2016 0.04316 129 108 16 5
1590 Where's the clothing department? 1.2016 0.04173 129 107 18 4
1591 Well, that's good to know, but where is "The Space Gap"? 1.2015 0.03636 134 108 25 1
1592 Aagh! They sent us back in time and to a suburb! 1.2015 0.04208 134 112 17 5
1593 Next time I ask you to locate a map I’ll be more specific. 1.2014 0.03845 139 114 22 3
1594 What's a barber? 1.2000 0.04969 110 94 10 6
1595 Oh dear. We are a long way from home. 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
1596 They must really be idiots. It doesn't even show their Star! 1.2000 0.04096 125 103 19 3
1597 It was so much easier when they had an information desk. 1.2000 0.03853 120 97 22 1
1598 Death rays. Look underAccessories. 1.2000 0.04134 115 94 19 2
1599 No wonder they're tearing these places down. 1.2000 0.04144 130 108 18 4
1600 If we hurry we can get something to eat at that place by the black hole 1.2000 0.04399 125 105 15 5
1601 Everybody's gotta be someplace. 1.2000 0.03945 115 93 21 1
1602 Looks like we’re close to Planet Pizza. 1.2000 0.04654 115 97 13 5
1603 Darn... that Christmas store we liked is gone ! 1.2000 0.04364 120 100 16 4
1604 We need a close encounter with an information booth. 1.2000 0.03846 130 106 22 2
1605 Quick! Find the nearest clothing store. 1.2000 0.04310 135 114 15 6
1606 I know we need clothes, but I really need to pee after that long flight. 1.2000 0.04031 120 98 20 2
1607 After traveling this far, there’s no way we’re eating at Panda Express again. 1.2000 0.04144 130 108 18 4
1608 if you'd only have gone a light-year faster, we would have gotten here 40 years ago, when there was more than one person, and the food court was really cooking! 1.2000 0.04654 115 97 13 5
1609 Look for skinny jeans and hoodies. 1.2000 0.04201 120 99 18 3
1610 I just want to get a couple of those sharp red hats, so people won't think we are cicadas. 1.2000 0.03846 130 106 22 2
1611 I’m pretty sure it was parking lot D. 1.2000 0.04031 120 98 20 2
1612 This species is even more primitive than we thought! 1.2000 0.04179 135 113 17 5
1613 Where are the pants? 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
1614 There's no coordinates to the food court." 1.2000 0.04250 125 104 17 4
1615 I hope the deals were worth the travel. 1.2000 0.03687 130 105 24 1
1616 Are you sure this is how we find an asteroid belt? 1.2000 0.04522 120 101 14 5
1617 Wait… They have language, logic, and opposable thumbs. THIS is what they come up with?! 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
1618 I told you the food court wouldn't have Reticulan! You have to go Manhattan for good Reticulan. 1.2000 0.05136 105 90 9 6
1619 Why are we here again? The pretzels. You know I love their pretzels. 1.1986 0.03796 141 116 22 3
1620 We are too skinny to blend in. Where is the food court? 1.1985 0.04151 136 114 17 5
1621 It's just a 2-dimensional representation of our 5-dimensional reality. 1.1985 0.03970 131 108 20 3
1622 What makes you think they even read books on this planet, let alone sell them? 1.1985 0.04255 131 110 16 5
1623 Just follow the shoppers. The reviews raved about the take-out. 1.1985 0.04115 131 109 18 4
1624 They have McDonalds just like home". 1.1985 0.04115 131 109 18 4
1625 So, where’s Alien playing, again? 1.1985 0.04115 131 109 18 4
1626 he couldn't find his way either 1.1984 0.03741 126 102 23 1
1627 You mean we’ve been replicating mall maps this entire time? 1.1984 0.04367 126 106 15 5
1628 Told you we were on the wrong planet. 1.1984 0.04367 126 106 15 5
1629 Apparently they refer to their star as "Starbucks", and we have landed on "Nordstrom" 1.1984 0.04066 126 104 19 3
1630 Traveled half way across this galaxy only to find out that Lids doesn't carry our size cap. 1.1984 0.04219 126 105 17 4
1631 I told you they wear clothes here. Everyone's staring at us. 1.1984 0.03907 126 103 21 2
1632 Seems we’re not in Kansas anymore 1.1984 0.04066 126 104 19 3
1633 I don’t care if it’s last season. The trip in is too long to do another return. 1.1984 0.04066 126 104 19 3
1634 Where's the nearest clothing store? 1.1983 0.04001 121 99 20 2
1635 That's ok Orgon I can hold it until we get home. You know I hate to use public bathrooms. 1.1983 0.04638 121 103 12 6
1636 Where’s target? 1.1983 0.04331 121 101 16 4
1637 So much for the surprise visit we had planned. 1.1983 0.04931 116 100 9 7
1638 GameStop?! No, find the restroom - I've been holding it since about Jupiter. 1.1983 0.04452 116 97 15 4
1639 We travelled through two galaxies to get here, and you're telling me that now you need to see a map? 1.1982 0.04758 111 94 12 5
1640 The weather has improved, but apparently they are still hunters and gatherers 1.1982 0.04400 111 92 16 3
1641 Did you bring your phone? 1.1982 0.04210 111 91 18 2
1642 We had an easier time getting to Earth. 1.1981 0.04911 106 90 11 5
1643 We are looking for Rep. Marjorie Taylor-Greene. 1.1981 0.05090 106 91 9 6
1644 with technology, you would think these things would be helpful 1.1981 0.04724 106 89 13 4
1645 Tell me we didn't come all this way just to try a massage chair. 1.1981 0.04327 106 87 17 2
1646 The jig is up. They know we’re here! 1.1980 0.05078 101 86 10 5
1647 Watch your footing. The last mission fell into The Gap. 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
1648 We came all this way and that's the greeting we get. 1.1971 0.03854 137 113 21 3
1649 No star bucks? How will we pay? 1.1971 0.03854 137 113 21 3
1650 I told you to phone home first. 1.1970 0.03637 132 107 24 1
1651 You know we could have just done this online. 1.1969 0.03714 127 103 23 1
1652 We're not in Houston anymore... 1.1969 0.04037 127 105 19 3
1653 Which first? Shoes, pants, or tanning salon? 1.1969 0.04037 127 105 19 3
1654 We don't need to find clothes to get home, we need to find Waldo 1.1969 0.04336 127 107 15 5
1655 Well, no intelligent life here--but I'm gonna pick up some toner at Sephora before we go. 1.1969 0.03714 127 103 23 1
1656 Please tell me you remember where we parked. 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1657 I thought you said nobody would be here. 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
1658 25 million miles from Venus without incident and now we’re lost in a mall! 1.1967 0.03971 122 100 20 2
1659 Did you punch in the coordinates backwards? Again? 1.1967 0.04138 122 101 18 3
1660 They have a store called “Dicks”? I’m out. 1.1967 0.04603 122 104 12 6
1661 I don't see "Pants" anywhere. 1.1966 0.04581 117 99 13 5
1662 We're good. They don't accept cash. 1.1966 0.04417 117 98 15 4
1663 They said the Aliens R Us store was not far from the mezzanine. How much further must we travel to find it? 1.1966 0.04581 117 99 13 5
1664 Of course I’m here. Where else would I be? 1.1966 0.04739 117 100 11 6
1665 Location coordinates? Is this done with irony? 1.1966 0.03884 117 95 21 1
1666 We should probe this Orange Julius I keep hearing about. 1.1966 0.04417 117 98 15 4
1667 I don't see Area 51 on that map. 1.1964 0.03979 112 91 20 1
1668 They are watching us 1.1964 0.04364 112 93 16 3
1669 We escaped our dying planet just to end up in a dying shopping center. 1.1964 0.04718 112 95 12 5
1670 Well that figures. The food court is all the way on the other side. 1.1964 0.04176 112 92 18 2
1671 We should have ordered on ET BAY ! 1.1964 0.04886 112 96 10 6
1672 Why don't we just order by mail, like humans? 1.1964 0.04545 112 94 14 4
1673 Do they think we are idiots? We know we are here. 1.1964 0.04545 112 94 14 4
1674 I told you it wasn't a naturist resort. 1.1964 0.03979 112 91 20 1
1675 We can blast this place to smithereens, or shop on-line and kill it faster. 1.1964 0.04886 112 96 10 6
1676 We came ALL the way here and you seriously forgot your credit card? 1.1964 0.04718 112 95 12 5
1677 Oh no, The Milky Way Store is going out of business, where would we get our candy now!! 1.1964 0.04545 112 94 14 4
1678 Hollister first for clothes then we’ll hit DSW for shoes 1.1964 0.03979 112 91 20 1
1679 Last time we use Google maps! 1.1963 0.04491 107 89 15 3
1680 But what exactly is "Here"? 1.1963 0.04290 107 88 17 2
1681 You Are Here” suggests navigational failure 1.1963 0.04080 107 87 19 1
1682 Would Foot Locker have genitals, too? 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
1683 My name is Zebulon. Yours is Zebulor. Who’s Here? 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
1684 Now what? 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
1685 I have never felt more lost. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
1686 Now don't tell me you forgot your wallet, too. 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
1687 Next time, I’m driving. I said “Let’s go see Darth Maul.” 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
1688 Jeez, I feel like an Englishman In New York. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
1689 Granted, that's a trip but I've been told the food court is otherworldly. 1.1957 0.04223 138 117 15 6
1690 I hope you're happy, coming 100 light years for an Orange Julius and the food court no longer has one. 1.1953 0.04304 128 108 15 5
1691 Of all the assignments in our Universe we got a Mall? 1.1953 0.04304 128 108 15 5
1692 Uh oh, they know where we are. 1.1951 0.04107 123 102 18 3
1693 I don't see Area 51 anywhere! 1.1951 0.04107 123 102 18 3
1694 Panda Express? Does the panda make the food or do they serve panda meat?” 1.1951 0.04420 123 104 14 5
1695 What do you mean Planet Hollywood has disappeared? 1.1951 0.04420 123 104 14 5
1696 We are not lost. These beings are. 1.1949 0.04383 118 99 15 4
1697 We came all this way and Radio Shack is closed?! 1.1949 0.04383 118 99 15 4
1698 Is that what they think? 1.1949 0.04853 118 102 9 7
1699 You’re flawless at an intergalactic star map but finding H&M stumps you? 1.1949 0.04039 118 97 19 2
1700 Our galaxy isn’t even on this thing… 1.1949 0.04383 118 99 15 4
1701 Let’s find the food court first. 1.1949 0.04214 118 98 17 3
1702 I can't believe they closed Cinnabon! 1.1947 0.04508 113 95 14 4
1703 Did you bring your Neiman Marcus credit card? I think we’re under dressed! 1.1947 0.04329 113 94 16 3
1704 Thanks for your submission. Check back to see the finalists. If your caption is among them we will be in touch. “What the…?” “What are we doing here in this cartoon?” 1.1947 0.04508 113 95 14 4
1705 Yes we should phone home, but where are the booths? 1.1944 0.04327 144 124 12 8
1706 Does it say which galaxy we are in? 1.1944 0.04254 108 89 17 2
1707 You got us here from Alpha Centauri and you need a map to find Starbucks ? 1.1944 0.04643 108 91 13 4
1708 Good thing we are here. I don’t have a thing to wear. 1.1942 0.04791 103 87 12 4
1709 Okay, you choose. Pizza Hut? Sunglass Hut? Or Jabba-the-Hut? 1.1940 0.04168 134 113 16 5
1710 I don't see any autopsy supplies. Let's just head for the crash site. 1.1940 0.04300 134 114 14 6
1711 I told you Chess King went out of business light years ago. 1.1938 0.03825 129 106 21 2
1712 We are not "You!" What is "Here? 1.1938 0.04129 129 108 17 4
1713 I could have sworn it was rounder and bluer. 1.1938 0.03980 129 107 19 3
1714 How did these earthlings know that we'd be at these exact coordinates? 1.1935 0.04387 124 105 14 5
1715 What do you mean Santa isn’t here!?! 1.1935 0.04387 124 105 14 5
1716 I don’t think this is Kansas. 1.1935 0.03913 124 102 20 2
1717 I told you we came in from the other side.” 1.1935 0.04387 124 105 14 5
1718 No matter where we go, there we are. 1.1935 0.04077 124 103 18 3
1719 I wonder if they have any Boba Tea places 1.1935 0.04077 124 103 18 3
1720 It’s a shame Prime doesn’t deliver to Uranus 1.1935 0.03913 124 102 20 2
1721 This is what happens when you don't ask for directions, Carl. 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
1722 How does it know we're here ? 1.1933 0.04815 119 103 9 7
1723 Apparently that desolated area was once known as 'Sears.' 1.1933 0.04182 119 99 17 3
1724 What did you type into the Autopilot System? “Most meaningless place” 1.1933 0.04665 119 102 11 6
1725 Shlogo wach dach g’wenoguah. 1.1933 0.04349 119 100 15 4
1726 Are you sure this is where ET said he bought his bicycle? 1.1930 0.04294 114 95 16 3
1727 Something is not right. The last message we got 20 Earth years ago guaranteed this location would be packed with people. 1.1930 0.04294 114 95 16 3
1728 And we thought the void of interstellar space was relatively empty. 1.1930 0.04109 114 94 18 2
1729 Relax. If it was about us, it would say THEY are here. 1.1927 0.04604 109 92 13 4
1730 Housewares? How about shoes and pants? 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
1731 I know you are here but where am I? 1.1927 0.04219 109 90 17 2
1732 And I thought the directions for getting to earth were confusing. 1.1927 0.04604 109 92 13 4
1733 Have we found Darth Mall ? 1.1927 0.04785 109 93 11 5
1734 It’s a good thing this is here. Our map of the universe doesn’t zoom in this much. 1.1927 0.04219 109 90 17 2
1735 These directories are always so hard to navigate 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
1736 Where is the Brzxyd, Bpklih, and Beyond? 1.1926 0.04271 135 115 14 6
1737 I made an appointment at the Genius Bar. If we don’t get my iPhone fixed I don’t know how we’ll get home. 1.1923 0.04243 130 110 15 5
1738 We need outfits that make the abductees feel comfortable. 1.1923 0.03952 130 108 19 3
1739 Do you think if we go to customer service, they'll take us to their leader? 1.1923 0.03798 130 107 21 2
1740 This was definitely not the entrance we used. 1.1923 0.04749 104 88 12 4
1741 No intelligent life here 1.1923 0.04749 104 88 12 4
1742 I think Apple is the Leader. 1.1923 0.03638 130 106 23 1
1743 Check the directory. Clothes and masks; that's all we need. 1.1923 0.03952 130 108 19 3
1744 Where to we catch an Uber? 1.1923 0.04117 104 85 18 1
1745 We managed to travel through lightyears of space and warp time to get here but we can't find a gender neutral restroom? 1.1920 0.03885 125 103 20 2
1746 Okay, Firsat, we need some fricken' pants. 1.1920 0.04204 125 105 16 4
1747 This can't be it nothing could survive in this environment! 1.1920 0.03885 125 103 20 2
1748 They actually need a map for THIS? 1.1920 0.03885 125 103 20 2
1749 I was told there would be a trail of Reese's Pieces. 1.1920 0.04047 125 104 18 3
1750 I told you we should have hung a right at Haley's Comet! 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
1751 Looks like we’re stuck for a while. No more Radio Shack. 1.1919 0.05112 99 85 9 5
1752 God, where did we leave that cow 1.1919 0.05310 99 86 7 6
1753 This place needs a store called Clothes Encounters! 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
1754 Glrkpx vfgzf mkrkyrwcqt Cinnabon! 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1755 Maybe try Walmart first. These prices are astronomical! 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1756 With all their resources sunk into this worthless crap I don't expect we'll be battling a well equipped army. 1.1917 0.04628 120 103 11 6
1757 Where do Earthlings sell fig leaves? 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
1758 I don't think the Uber dropped us at the right place... 1.1913 0.04435 115 97 14 4
1759 I don't see "Leader" anywhere on this map. 1.1913 0.04435 115 97 14 4
1760 Hot Topic closed?! 1.1913 0.04260 115 96 16 3
1761 Walking around with glassy-eyed indifference seems to be a universal trait. 1.1913 0.04077 115 95 18 2
1762 It looks like someone is tracking us 1.1913 0.03885 115 94 20 1
1763 No. I hate The Gap. Let's grab that Terrestrial. 1.1913 0.04260 115 96 16 3
1764 Are there three kinds of Clothes Encounters? All I see is "activewear". 1.1912 0.04111 136 115 16 5
1765 Do these people ever sleep? 1.1912 0.03837 136 113 20 3
1766 I wonder what happened to Sears. 1.1909 0.03980 110 90 19 1
1767 I'm telling you, we'll be inconspicuous in Spencer's! 1.1909 0.04917 110 95 9 6
1768 I fear we have entered a black hole. 1.1909 0.04184 110 91 17 2
1769 The purpose of the map is to keep us in, not help us get out. Oh look, they have a Spencers! 1.1908 0.03772 131 108 21 2
1770 You had to park on the other side of the lot, didn’t you?! 1.1908 0.04071 131 110 17 4
1771 I'm totally lost. 1.1905 0.04018 126 105 18 3
1772 Define “here” 1.1905 0.04300 105 87 16 2
1773 Finding their planet was easier than finding pants. 1.1905 0.04707 105 89 12 4
1774 We just need an all-gender restroom. 1.1905 0.04707 105 89 12 4
1775 Maybe they're more advanced than we thought. 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
1776 I don’t know. These malls are all alien to me. 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
1777 No wonder they haven’t found us yet 1.1905 0.04707 105 89 12 4
1778 Who knew malls really exist? 1.1901 0.04282 121 102 15 4
1779 I thought we were on Earth? 1.1901 0.03769 121 99 21 1
1780 We’ve been standing here for an hour. I think it’s time to admit their maps are beyond our understanding. 1.1901 0.04282 121 102 15 4
1781 Hey look Marge, a Kandinsky! It’s signed “you are here”, George. 1.1901 0.04593 121 104 11 6
1782 We'll blend in at the Spencer Gifts store." 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
1783 Naked and afraid 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
1784 They've found us! 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
1785 I guess there is no intelligent life on this planet after all. 1.1898 0.03811 137 114 20 3
1786 I just hope the exchange rate is favorable. 1.1897 0.04226 116 97 16 3
1787 They seem to have repurposed the monolith. 1.1895 0.05030 95 81 10 4
1788 I think humans refer to this place as a black hole 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
1789 Egads, Marv! Someone has abducted the Orange Julius! 1.1895 0.05030 95 81 10 4
1790 Where's the lost and found? 1.1894 0.03746 132 109 21 2
1791 I still can’t believe she made us travel this far for Cinnabon. 1.1894 0.03746 132 109 21 2
1792 Why don’t we scare up some lunch? 1.1892 0.04343 111 93 15 3
1793 'I will never learn to understand this modern art'. 1.1892 0.04705 111 95 11 5
1794 We came all that way, and you only realise NOW that we don't even wear clothes?! 1.1892 0.04527 111 94 13 4
1795 This whole chart looks Greek to me. 1.1890 0.03989 127 106 18 3
1796 Now remember what we came for. 1.1889 0.05216 90 77 9 4
1797 We can finally redeem our Star Bucks here! 1.1887 0.04263 106 88 16 2
1798 Yes, you hate shopping, but in case you haven't noticed, we don't have a thing to wear. 1.1887 0.04047 106 87 18 1
1799 Clothing. Is that too much to ask these days? 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
1800 I'm still confused . Who is here ? 1.1887 0.04854 106 91 10 5
1801 How do people even understand this stuff 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
1802 No, I didn’t bring the damned GPS, did you? 1.1887 0.04263 106 88 16 2
1803 Do they keep their probes under Housewares or Electronics? 1.1887 0.04665 106 90 12 4
1804 I feel like people are looking at us like we are aliens! 1.1887 0.04047 106 87 18 1
1805 We seek the one called Cinnabon, that we may return with regret. 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
1806 This isn't where comic con is. 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
1807 I don't see 'Leader' on it. Now what do we do? 1.1885 0.03741 122 100 21 1
1808 Take me to your last remaining store. 1.1885 0.04704 122 106 9 7
1809 I told you that the grass is not greener on the other side.” 1.1885 0.04407 122 104 13 5
1810 Take me to your greeter. 1.1885 0.03918 122 101 19 2
1811 Here we are again 1.1885 0.04088 122 102 17 3
1812 Which galaxy is the food court? 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
1813 I vote we haunt the clothing department first 1.1881 0.05017 101 87 9 5
1814 Roswell’s changed. 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
1815 I had hoped to surprise them with a grand announcement, but no, you wanted to shop first, and now we’re old news! 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
1816 Hoodies and sweats first, then food. 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
1817 It was called Orange Julius and it was right here I swear. 1.1881 0.04154 101 83 17 1
1818 Back away slowly...that lady just turned into the carpet. 1.1880 0.04365 117 99 14 4
1819 We traveled 300 million light years and the bathroom's busted here too 1.1880 0.04014 117 97 18 2
1820 Evidently, "You can't get there from here," isn't always a joke. 1.1880 0.04015 133 112 17 4
1821 Wayfarers of the cosmos and we can’t find the mall restroom. 1.1875 0.03961 128 107 18 3
1822 I thought the Halloween contest was today. 1.1875 0.03961 128 107 18 3
1823 Surely there's a "Tall and Thin" clothing store in here! 1.1875 0.04307 112 94 15 3
1824 We'll have to carry our purchases with us; the shipping costs to our address are outrageous. 1.1875 0.04666 112 96 11 5
1825 Really? 1.1875 0.04666 112 96 11 5
1826 Where do you think they sell the Caitlin Clark jerseys? 1.1875 0.04260 128 109 14 5
1827 I mean, how stupid do they think we are? 1.1875 0.04116 112 93 17 2
1828 I only need shoes. You see shoes anywhere? 1.1875 0.04307 112 94 15 3
1829 just quick, find the clothing store 1.1875 0.03961 128 107 18 3
1830 Maybe Burger King is the leader... 1.1875 0.03916 112 92 19 1
1831 Not even a Victoria's Secret? 1.1875 0.04402 128 110 12 6
1832 They kidnap us. They take our clothes. This is their idea of an intelligence test? 1.1875 0.04666 112 96 11 5
1833 All these clothing stores. What's wrong with these people? 1.1875 0.03961 128 107 18 3
1834 I really thought they'd be more advanced by now. 1.1871 0.03761 139 116 20 3
1835 Oh my god. These Zaras are popping up everywhere. 1.1870 0.04057 123 103 17 3
1836 Fascinating. This looks like our control system only they don’t know how to use theirs. 1.1869 0.04430 107 90 14 3
1837 We'll never get back to the beyond if there's not even bed and bath. 1.1869 0.03786 107 87 20 0
1838 Amazing! Beings who must be reassured that they are where they are. We are always where we are. 1.1869 0.04430 107 90 14 3
1839 I TOLD you this planet was cold! 1.1869 0.04227 107 89 16 2
1840 Act natural. We need to be inconspicuous. 1.1864 0.04331 118 100 14 4
1841 Just ask. 1.1864 0.04654 118 102 10 6
1842 Yikes, we're under-dressed. Where's The Gap? 1.1864 0.04331 118 100 14 4
1843 The layout is oddly similar to your first space ship. 1.1864 0.03983 118 98 18 2
1844 Ngaphsss? Graaag, smeetraw. Phtow! Ah, Apple Store. 1.1864 0.04161 118 99 16 3
1845 We've checked both The White House AND the mall, and still no signs of intelligent life. 1.1864 0.04654 118 102 10 6
1846 Why isn't Radio Shack on there? 1.1863 0.04117 102 84 17 1
1847 J.C. Penny is where we get the human costumes. 1.1863 0.04772 102 87 11 4
1848 Roswell really developed its commercial real estate corridor 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
1849 I always had a recurring dream that i would wake up naked in the mall. But never as an alien. 1.1858 0.04957 113 99 7 7
1850 You fool, this isn't the Andromeda system. 1.1858 0.04627 113 97 11 5
1851 They have a Sbarro here too. 1.1858 0.04083 113 94 17 2
1852 Where’s the store that sells saucers? 1.1858 0.04272 113 95 15 3
1853 You think it’s the same as ET-Mobile? 1.1858 0.04272 113 95 15 3
1854 Did we really have to travel this far for an Orange Julius? 1.1858 0.04627 113 97 11 5
1855 It looks like we're not where we thought we were" 1.1858 0.04453 113 96 13 4
1856 It always looks better on the rack. 1.1858 0.03885 113 93 19 1
1857 Do you see Area 51 anywhere on that directory 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
1858 “What, no Panera? But we flew 2 million light years to have a bread spaceship soup!” 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
1859 I find it all quite frightening Zev, a human maze created no doubt,as a way to humiliate us and promote the feeling of being "other " Let's just make our purchases online. 1.1856 0.04230 97 80 16 1
1860 Let's go to the food court and get some cockroaches 1.1855 0.04633 124 108 9 7
1861 Interstellar travel was nothing compared to this. 1.1855 0.04340 124 106 13 5
1862 No, I think finding sunglasses is the least of our problems! 1.1855 0.04027 124 104 17 3
1863 Are we You? 1.1855 0.04340 124 106 13 5
1864 Which place advertised their food as "Out of this World"? 1.1852 0.04191 108 90 16 2
1865 We traveled 3 billion miles for a pretzel? 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
1866 The cinnamon smell is getting stronger, we’re almost there! 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
1867 Darned if I know what apparel is. 1.1852 0.04191 108 90 16 2
1868 In order to get back home, we need to find the Forever Twenty-one store. 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
1869 What is an orange julius and why is next to the reactor core? 1.1852 0.04948 108 94 8 6
1870 It didn’t look flat when we landed.. 1.1852 0.03979 108 89 18 1
1871 Why are we shopping? We don't wear clothes. 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1872 Why do you suppose the tour director sent us here first? 1.1849 0.03574 119 97 22 0
1873 This map shows that store in section 51 1.1849 0.03952 119 99 18 2
1874 This is what happens when you won’t ask for directions! 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1875 Yes, that looks like uncle George before they put him together again 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
1876 I know I'm here but where is here? 1.1846 0.03905 130 109 18 3
1877 Soooo, Mars has shopping malls? 1.1845 0.03840 103 84 19 0
1878 We're going to meet their leader. I'd say more business than casual. 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
1879 Last time they had a Sbarro. 1.1845 0.04729 103 88 11 4
1880 Which one do you think is the closes store? Im feeling real naked! 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
1881 Apparently they suffer from existential angst. 1.1845 0.04729 103 88 11 4
1882 All I want is Auntie Anne's and then we're outta here 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
1883 We should probably buy some pants. 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
1884 Yes. But will it get us home?" 1.1842 0.04589 114 98 11 5
1885 I don't get Earthling logic. If we already had clothes, why would be coming to a clothing store?!!? 1.1842 0.04238 114 96 15 3
1886 I don't see our planet on this map. 1.1842 0.04238 114 96 15 3
1887 What did she mean by “which store has the promotional going on?” 1.1842 0.04050 114 95 17 2
1888 I see Just Shirts, but I don’t see Just Underwear or Just Pants. 1.1842 0.04417 114 97 13 4
1889 I suddenly have an urge to wear khaki pants. 1.1842 0.04238 114 96 15 3
1890 We should return these costumes back to Party City. 1.1842 0.04417 114 97 13 4
1891 Planet Starbucks? 1.1840 0.04308 125 107 13 5
1892 They still have a Sears here? 1.1840 0.04308 125 107 13 5
1893 All this way and no Starbucks! 1.1838 0.03646 136 113 21 2
1894 We come all this way and no Orange Julius. 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
1895 I wonder if I can find a copy of ‘To Serve Man’ 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
1896 See if they have a listing for unisex clothing. 1.1835 0.03459 158 132 23 3
1897 So what shall it be, Land's End, or David's Cookies? 1.1835 0.03946 109 90 18 1
1898 Where's Santa? 1.1835 0.04546 109 93 12 4
1899 Ah, the universal language. 1.1835 0.04546 109 93 12 4
1900 No, not Hot Topic. Too spooky" 1.1835 0.04355 109 92 14 3
1901 Let's just go with TJ Max -- we're not going to be here that long. 1.1835 0.04355 109 92 14 3
1902 Okay, but where, exactly is here? [the is should be italicized] 1.1833 0.03922 120 100 18 2
1903 I think we parked in another dimension. 1.1832 0.04169 131 112 14 5
1904 Is it possible to zoom out a little bit? 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
1905 I think this is the map which should take us to all their lost leaders. 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
1906 I say we head to the Apple store. Those prehistoric computers should be a hoot. 1.1827 0.04270 104 87 15 2
1907 I always feel out of place looking at these maps. 1.1826 0.04204 115 97 15 3
1908 What's a "clothing store?" 1.1826 0.04018 115 96 17 2
1909 Is there a shuttle? I parked about three light years away. 1.1826 0.04204 115 97 15 3
1910 Their leader must be this Director Y. 1.1825 0.03968 126 106 17 3
1911 I'm dying for some Tex-Mex, but they might think we are illegal aliens! 1.1825 0.04276 126 108 13 5
1912 Can you see where the rest rooms are located? 1.1818 0.04319 110 93 14 3
1913 I’m pretty sure we landed by the Planet Hollywood entrance. 1.1818 0.03892 121 101 18 2
1914 we’d better hit the dress shops first! 1.1818 0.04121 110 92 16 2
1915 If there are no signs of intelligent life like you said, how do you explain the Cinnabon? 1.1818 0.04121 110 92 16 2
1916 Have we gotten close to the Cinnabon? 1.1818 0.04393 99 83 14 2
1917 See, Zarzad, I told you they knew we were here! 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
1918 I thought we were on the planet earth. 1.1818 0.03711 121 100 20 1
1919 No wonder Earthlings could not find life on Mars. 1.1818 0.04140 132 113 14 5
1920 Wait, haven't we've been here before? 1.1818 0.04319 110 93 14 3
1921 The waning wasn’t bad, but the waxing hurt like hell. 1.1818 0.04508 110 94 12 4
1922 I knew you should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque. 1.1818 0.04508 110 94 12 4
1923 We’re further away from home…goods then we thought. 1.1818 0.03924 143 122 16 5
1924 I’m telling you she shopped from Earth for her wedding gown to save for their honeymoon! 1.1818 0.05048 99 86 8 5
1925 No, I don't have cash or a credit card with me. I don't even have pockets. 1.1811 0.03778 127 106 19 2
1926 This looks like one of those rat puzzles humans like. 1.1810 0.04170 116 98 15 3
1927 It used to be easier when we could just phone home. 1.1810 0.04678 116 101 9 6
1928 Our mission is to acquire parts for the repair of Orson, and to replenish the supply of Tang. 1.1810 0.03591 116 95 21 0
1929 Why is this mother ship so deserted? 1.1810 0.04346 116 99 13 4
1930 When I asked what was Victoria's Secret they said I should go to Lens Crafters. 1.1810 0.03986 116 97 17 2
1931 How do they know??? 1.1810 0.04232 105 88 15 2
1932 Next time we plummet to Earth, we should pack a few things. 1.1810 0.04010 105 87 17 1
1933 It doesn't say where the leader is. 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
1934 Sigh... I've concluded these natives lack the slightest concept about the size of the universe. 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
1935 Is there someplace that sells underwear? 1.1810 0.04645 105 90 11 4
1936 Last time we were here it was a lot more crowded 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
1937 Let's start by destroying their map. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
1938 Do you think there is any space to rent? 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
1939 I thought Halloween was a good time for them to NOT know we were here 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
1940 I'm having that dream again. 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
1941 First we need to buy some clothes 1.1803 0.03863 122 102 18 2
1942 Yeah, that's nice...But what PLANET are we on? 1.1802 0.04470 111 95 12 4
1943 Is that you or me? 1.1802 0.03882 111 92 18 1
1944 I see men’s wear and women’s wear, but nothing for us. 1.1800 0.03861 100 82 18 0
1945 Only 230 shopping days 'til Christmas!", where are we 1.1800 0.04579 100 85 12 3
1946 We must avoid American Eagle. Those birds could rip us to pieces. 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
1947 Look Ork-ork, they know we're here. 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
1948 Maps like this make it hard to leave in peace. 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
1949 But cheesecake from a factory? 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
1950 It’s a TREK to get to the Cinnabon. 1.1800 0.04579 100 85 12 3
1951 Is that a crop circle next to the Gap? 1.1797 0.03583 128 106 21 1
1952 Yes, I know it says 'You are here' but what does 'here' mean 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1953 We traveled across the galaxy just to buy a bracelet from Claire's? 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1954 I swear, from a distance I thought it said ‘Free Beer’ in our own language 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1955 What’s with all these Ramen places? 1.1795 0.04479 117 101 11 5
1956 It is a primitive planet, they still shop at malls! 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1957 The food court is a great place to start. 1.1793 0.03618 145 122 20 3
1958 Take me to your Lord and Taylor 1.1792 0.04604 106 91 11 4
1959 Exactly where was our landing pad? 1.1792 0.03743 106 87 19 0
1960 Otot, I've a feeling we're not in Andromeda anymore. 1.1792 0.04405 106 90 13 3
1961 We are here, but where are you? 1.1792 0.04405 106 90 13 3
1962 I think it says I'd turn back if I were you. 1.1792 0.04405 106 90 13 3
1963 This is like a dream I had where I was talking to a crowd and realized I forgot to wear clothes. 1.1792 0.04405 106 90 13 3
1964 It looks like a supply side economy, able to create an artificial demand. 1.1792 0.04196 106 89 15 2
1965 I don’t see a listing for ‘Leader’. 1.1792 0.04196 106 89 15 2
1966 Why is that earthling shadowing us? 1.1792 0.04604 106 91 11 4
1967 Can this take us to their theater? 1.1791 0.03490 134 111 22 1
1968 Oh, well that clears everything up... 1.1789 0.04728 95 81 11 3
1969 Looks like a micro-galaxy. 1.1789 0.03954 95 78 17 0
1970 What did they mean no shirt, no shoes, no service? 1.1789 0.04227 95 79 15 1
1971 Let's start with the lingerie shop. 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
1972 I TOLD you it would take a long time to travel 112 light-years. We should have left earlier if you wanted to get here before Blockbuster Video went out of business. 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
1973 Let's find a clothing store. 1.1789 0.03657 123 102 20 1
1974 Too much pepperoni, not enough apparel. 1.1786 0.03850 112 93 18 1
1975 If they know where we are, why can't anyone get a clear photograph of us? 1.1786 0.04054 112 94 16 2
1976 I went to Lids last time and one size does not fit all. 1.1786 0.04054 112 94 16 2
1977 Let's start with underwear... 1.1786 0.04054 112 94 16 2
1978 So where's the nude beach, oh genius of coordinates? 1.1786 0.04611 112 97 10 5
1979 I can't believe you made us fly 500 light-years to get here when I could've just bought this stuff online 1.1786 0.04247 112 95 14 3
1980 Yes, yes we found it! The All-Knowing Sign. This is their church. They worship a god called “Capitalism.” 1.1786 0.04433 112 96 12 4
1981 Yeah... but, like, why? 1.1783 0.04326 129 112 11 6
1982 What a waste of space. 1.1783 0.04184 129 111 13 5
1983 Looks like we missed our target by about a million miles, but we might as well look for a pair of jeans while we're here. 1.1782 0.04077 101 84 16 1
1984 Gort, Klaatu barada nicto. 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
1985 No directory entry for Andromeda 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
1986 This society may be more advanced than we thought. They have Dippin' Dots, too! 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
1987 I'm sorry. It's just not the same without Sears. 1.1782 0.04750 101 87 10 4
1988 Look for the cafe with the cats” 1.1782 0.04750 101 87 10 4
1989 Even after traveling 24,690,000,000,000 miles, the visitors still could not figure out where "HERE" was. 1.1780 0.04105 118 100 15 3
1990 They still think in terms of 'you'? 1.1780 0.04105 118 100 15 3
1991 It doesn’t make a difference which one has the best plan – we just need to phone home. 1.1780 0.03924 118 99 17 2
1992 Step one: acquire pants. 1.1780 0.04444 118 102 11 5
1993 I think 'Bed, Bath and Beyond' is in the Westchester Mall." 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
1994 Look for something called 'Leader.' 1.1778 0.04053 90 74 16 0
1995 We finally found something on this crazy planet they all agree is true. 1.1776 0.04160 107 90 15 2
1996 She looks like a leader; let's follow her. 1.1776 0.04160 107 90 15 2
1997 So many stores selling clothing - What is with their obsession with covering themselves ? 1.1776 0.04753 107 93 9 5
1998 I’m feeling very alienated here 1.1776 0.04160 107 90 15 2
1999 Beam us up, Scotty. 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
2000 I thought the train went to Mars 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
2001 I told you they would not have a Trans-Galactic rest room. 1.1776 0.03942 107 89 17 1
2002 I'm sorry, but I don't think this is really going to help us find where we parked the spaceship 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
2003 I thought the universe was so much larger. 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
2004 This is one of the many traps Earthlings have set for their species 1.1776 0.04160 107 90 15 2
2005 Does it say where their leader is? 1.1776 0.04564 107 92 11 4
2006 I see the circles, but the last time we visited, there were crops growing here. 1.1774 0.03806 124 104 18 2
2007 Yes, it's a mall planet. 1.1774 0.03975 124 105 16 3
2008 After traveling millions of miles, we were here all the time?? 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
2009 These earthlings are smart… they already know where we are! 1.1771 0.05129 96 84 7 5
2010 Are any places Clothing Optional? 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
2011 This place is so confusing 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
2012 I told you we had to pay for new gps update16.1.2.3.7.11 1.1771 0.03917 96 79 17 0
2013 I told you how gullible they are. 1.1770 0.04021 113 95 16 2
2014 Do you see inter-species washrooms ? 1.1770 0.04021 113 95 16 2
2015 I wonder if this map will take us to their leader? 1.1770 0.04396 113 97 12 4
2016 Great, they rebranded as Bed and Bath. 1.1765 0.04275 102 86 14 2
2017 Can you find Noah’s Ark? 1.1765 0.03793 102 84 18 0
2018 This is where our monoliths ended up! 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
2019 Are you sure this is the same mall entrance where we parked the spaceship? 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
2020 Does staring up at these ever make you feel small and insignificant? 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
2021 Are you SURE you want to do this? 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
2022 I don't think this will help us find our way home. 1.1765 0.04073 119 101 15 3
2023 Feels like we’re walking in crop circles 1.1765 0.04909 102 89 8 5
2024 I vote - pants store first” 1.1765 0.04275 102 86 14 2
2025 These specimens are too common. Let's go back to Walmart. 1.1760 0.03778 125 105 18 2
2026 No pants no service? Where’s the nearest Gap… 1.1760 0.03778 125 105 18 2
2027 We need a clothing store and fast 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
2028 I can’t find Area 51 1.1759 0.03909 108 90 17 1
2029 I swear there used to be Circuit City here! 1.1759 0.03909 108 90 17 1
2030 No Orange Julius? 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
2031 But what does that mean? 1.1759 0.04124 108 91 15 2
2032 You are here" doesn't really tell me where the hell we are 1.1759 0.04712 108 94 9 5
2033 Does this satisfy your FOMO? 1.1759 0.04525 108 93 11 4
2034 Just find the restroom quickly so we can get out of here 1.1759 0.04124 108 91 15 2
2035 I'm pretty upset with this planet, Xorg. Sunglass Hut said we needed ears and Victoria's Secret wouldn't even let us in the door. 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
2036 I just want to phone home. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
2037 Obviously, Starbucks is the Beam Me Up site. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
2038 It's going to take light years to find the car park 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
2039 I thought so. 1.1754 0.03578 114 94 20 0
2040 We came all this way with our 30% off coupon, and they don't even have a Kohl's! 1.1754 0.04178 114 97 14 3
2041 That sign is wrong! We landed in a corn field outside Lincoln. 1.1754 0.04360 114 98 12 4
2042 A map in two dimensions?? We’ll never find our way out!! 1.1754 0.04178 114 97 14 3
2043 I was told these had become black holes... 1.1753 0.04637 97 83 11 3
2044 Where’s the really big picture? 1.1753 0.04863 97 84 9 4
2045 I heard Brooks Brothers has the best Halloween outfits 1.1753 0.04637 97 83 11 3
2046 See, I TOLD you they can see us! 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
2047 Maybe we’re in an experimental maze or an escape room thing. 1.1753 0.04148 97 81 15 1
2048 So where's Radio Shack? 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
2049 I thought they said birthday suit, not Earth Day salute. 1.1752 0.04131 137 119 12 6
2050 Why would they prosecute their sustenance? 1.1750 0.04042 120 102 15 3
2051 See if you can find Rosswell. 1.1750 0.03679 120 100 19 1
2052 How was I supposed to know the Orange Julius closed? It wasn't when we left 13 light years ago! 1.1750 0.04211 120 103 13 4
2053 I told you we should've asked someone to take us to their leader. 1.1750 0.04042 120 102 15 3
2054 Well yes ... but there is no here here. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
2055 Mmmmmmmm it looks delicious! 1.1748 0.04005 103 86 16 1
2056 I didn’t think to bring our walking shoes. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
2057 Forever 21? I swear this is where Area 51 was. 1.1748 0.04005 103 86 16 1
2058 And you said this planet would be different” 1.1748 0.04236 103 87 14 2
2059 No wonder humans can’t find our planet. 1.1743 0.04090 109 92 15 2
2060 Maybe they will hire us at the Halloween store. 1.1743 0.04292 109 93 13 3
2061 How is it we navigated the Mutara Nebula but we’ve walked through this mall three time and still can’t find the Orange Julius? 1.1743 0.04292 109 93 13 3
2062 They have Starbucks here?! 1.1743 0.04671 109 95 9 5
2063 I knew we should’ve taken a left in Albuquerque. 1.1743 0.04486 109 94 11 4
2064 Where's the intelligent life? 1.1743 0.04671 109 95 9 5
2065 I told you to stop and ask directions 1.1743 0.04292 109 93 13 3
2066 But we know that already, so what ? 1.1743 0.04292 109 93 13 3
2067 I miss the 1980s, too, but you won't find it here. 1.1743 0.04090 109 92 15 2
2068 I told you we shoulda went to Walmart the people watching is much more interesting 1.1743 0.04486 109 94 11 4
2069 Are we in an ant farm? 1.1742 0.03484 132 110 21 1
2070 I told you we should have made a left at Albuquerque. 1.1739 0.04498 115 100 10 5
2071 It looks like the bathroom is between Old Navy and Area 51? 1.1739 0.04498 115 100 10 5
2072 It’s called conceptual art. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
2073 I just hope there’s a Talbots. 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
2074 Cinnabon, is worth the trip. Your first step into a larger world. 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
2075 I wonder whether they serve mankind at the Food Court. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
2076 Our fan merch is at “Hot Topic”. 1.1736 0.04179 121 104 13 4
2077 Where the he'll is J. Crew? I'm freezing! 1.1736 0.03651 121 101 19 1
2078 No one's batted an eye. I thought these costumes were pretty convincing. 1.1736 0.03835 121 102 17 2
2079 I thought you said that there was life on this planet. 1.1736 0.03651 121 101 19 1
2080 Is this existentialism? 1.1736 0.04011 121 103 15 3
2081 What an incredibly myopic view of the universe! 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
2082 We just need to find jeans that make our butts look good 1.1735 0.04816 98 85 9 4
2083 I said ‘Area 51’ not ‘Forever 21’! 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
2084 Thought you said we were going to a gin joint in Casablanca 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
2085 Maybe The Body Shop? 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
2086 Where are all the humans? 1.1735 0.04816 98 85 9 4
2087 Ha! We are here, Pentagon. 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
2088 So just ask it for the proper space vectors so we can get back to the Alpha Centauri system. 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
2089 Nothing says “We come in peace” like fresh Cinnabons 1.1732 0.04343 127 111 10 6
2090 Maybe they can tell us how to pronounce “Sbarro”. 1.1732 0.03724 127 107 18 2
2091 Their galaxy seems to be much more complicated than ours. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
2092 I swear, this place has the best cinnamon rolls this side of Alpha Centauri. 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
2093 Hunh. They must be expecting us. 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
2094 My God, it’s full of stores! 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
2095 But where are the guiphorney rooms? 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
2096 How does it know where we are? Must be an AI map! 1.1731 0.04622 104 90 10 4
2097 Damn, I thought for sure this was Earth. 1.1731 0.04622 104 90 10 4
2098 Which way is up? 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
2099 I think we'll find their leader in the Food Court. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
2100 We need to look like them. Did you bring your credit card? 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
2101 I didn’t expect it to be this easy. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
2102 If we have to stop on one more planet for you to find space shoes that you like, it’s over! 1.1731 0.04820 104 91 8 5
2103 Here it says 'You are here.” How helpful, humans must get lost often in their own insignificance. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
2104 There’s no there there. 1.1731 0.04622 104 90 10 4
2105 I want to be leaving. 1.1729 0.03621 133 112 19 2
2106 I heard their chili-cheese fries are out of this world. 1.1727 0.04055 110 93 15 2
2107 Let’s check Spencer’s first. 1.1727 0.04256 110 94 13 3
2108 This must be their lost and found. 1.1727 0.03844 110 92 17 1
2109 Do you think we're overqualified for the mannequin job? 1.1727 0.04448 110 95 11 4
2110 The universe is much easier to navigate than this damn place 1.1727 0.04256 110 94 13 3
2111 Nows probably not the right time to bring this up, but I'm sleeping with your wife. 1.1727 0.04448 110 95 11 4
2112 dressing before dining seems to be the custom here. 1.1724 0.04112 116 99 14 3
2113 Uuuh, I thought we were THERE! 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
2114 We'll never get out of here alive. 1.1724 0.03925 116 98 16 2
2115 Odd, no wormholes shown, or maybe it's just a joke? 1.1724 0.04461 116 101 10 5
2116 I think we’ll win the Halloween contest this year, Fred. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
2117 Mall? You said it was Earth! 1.1724 0.04112 116 99 14 3
2118 Take us to your leading brand 1.1724 0.04290 116 100 12 4
2119 Wait didn’t you say there a Bed Bath and Beyond here? 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
2120 Do you think the 'Lost and Found' section has some extra cows? 1.1721 0.03980 122 104 15 3
2121 meep lorp. gorb fleebah. 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
2122 Looking for Bed Bath & Beyond 1.1720 0.03935 93 77 16 0
2123 I told you we needed to ask for directions. 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
2124 '"'Food Court,' 'Cell Phone Repair,' 'Antidepressants'... This planet is even stranger than we thought." 1.1719 0.03860 128 109 16 3
2125 Why would they tell her secret? 1.1717 0.04982 99 87 7 5
2126 It' so earthy. 1.1717 0.03810 99 82 17 0
2127 Does it matter? 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
2128 This two dimensional signage is impossible. 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
2129 Tell navigator JJreoko he's screwed because we're screwed. 1.1717 0.04771 99 86 9 4
2130 Wouldn’t it be faster with Amazon? 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
2131 In the pre-mission prep, they seem have missed the planets Yankee Candle, Foot Locker and JCPenney. 1.1717 0.04982 99 87 7 5
2132 The GPS was supposed to drop us by the Washington Monument! 1.1717 0.04317 99 84 13 2
2133 "Way too complicated, Zaldar, let's try online shopping! 1.1716 0.03896 134 115 15 4
2134 The Cinnabon closed. Where are we going to get fuel for the ion drive? 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
2135 You can’t get a piercing if you don’t have the body part. 1.1714 0.04777 105 92 8 5
2136 Looks like if we get to the public restroom we'll find Uranus. 1.1714 0.04581 105 91 10 4
2137 Maybe pick up some clothes before we zap them? 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
2138 Our previous expedition was wrong. There is no intelligent life here. 1.1714 0.04376 105 90 12 3
2139 Perfect. All the way from Beyond to find Bed/Bath is gone!" 1.1714 0.04376 105 90 12 3
2140 I guess we could invade the Banana Republic 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
2141 Who puts the Cinnabon on the 3rd floor of the galleria, animals 1.1714 0.04581 105 91 10 4
2142 It's fortunate they didn't use this format on their Voyager disk. 1.1714 0.03936 105 88 16 1
2143 If this is Earth, it should be a cinch to conquer. 1.1712 0.04767 111 98 7 6
2144 Yes we do need to blend in but I’m not going the f&!?ing Gap. 1.1712 0.04592 111 97 9 5
2145 Take me to your... Starbucks? 1.1712 0.04022 111 94 15 2
2146 Honey, I don’t believe they have any gender neutral bathrooms. 1.1712 0.04022 111 94 15 2
2147 Nice to know where we are, but do you believe in us? 1.1709 0.04589 117 103 8 6
2148 You would think a gender-inclusive culture would make it easier to find a unisex bathroom." 1.1709 0.04256 117 101 12 4
2149 You said you wanted to stop by the National Mall after the congressional hearings.. but I'm not sure we're in the right place 1.1709 0.04426 117 102 10 5
2150 They have us placed here between Venus Fashions and Mars Confections--they don't really seem capable of much precision. 1.1709 0.04589 117 103 8 6
2151 The last mile is always tough. 1.1709 0.03700 117 98 18 1
2152 Do you feel a little bit like a fish out of water? 1.1709 0.03894 117 99 16 2
2153 That must be the portal to a parallel universe. 1.1709 0.04079 117 100 14 3
2154 Great selection but the exchange rate is killing us. 1.1707 0.03778 123 104 17 2
2155 Clearly a human designed this 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
2156 I think I've had this nightmare before. 1.1704 0.04009 135 117 13 5
2157 We’re here because they advertise that the food court is ‘Out of this World’ 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
2158 I hear that ACME Electronics can fix a broken antenna. 1.1700 0.04507 100 86 11 3
2159 Intergalactic fashions for global warming are on level three 1.1700 0.04726 100 87 9 4
2160 From what I’ve seen of this species, I MUST visit this so-called genius bar. 1.1700 0.04935 100 88 7 5
2161 I feel the need for tidy whitees”. Submitted by Douglas Monaghan, Floral Park, New Yor 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
2162 Meet you at Victoria's Secret in a millennia. 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
2163 Let’s try this design on the nearest corn field 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
2164 This planet must be run by idiots. Obviously, we are "HERE" 1.1700 0.04726 100 87 9 4
2165 Eight million miles and you didn't check to see if Sears was still open. 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
2166 We are practically the only ones here! 1.1698 0.04126 106 90 14 2
2167 The arcade is gone? I wanted to play Space Invaders! 1.1698 0.03902 106 89 16 1
2168 400 years to get here and no wallet ? 1.1698 0.03664 106 88 18 0
2169 Our cover’s blown. Start the death beam. 1.1698 0.03902 106 89 16 1
2170 This advanced navigation protocol exceeds my comprehension. 1.1698 0.03902 106 89 16 1
2171 I wish these hats had better eye holes" "I think I left my clothes in the changing room 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
2172 That can't be right. It says area 51 is a Spencer's Gifts. 1.1698 0.04540 106 92 10 4
2173 We’re looking for the Independence Day sales. 1.1698 0.04540 106 92 10 4
2174 This map still has Sears. 1.1696 0.03781 112 94 17 1
2175 Where is Auntie Annes? 1.1696 0.04373 112 97 11 4
2176 We spent so much effort inventing warp propulsion… the concept of clothing, shoes and those giant pretzels are pure genius. 1.1696 0.03988 112 95 15 2
2177 Outer space is nice. But retail space has Cinnabon. 1.1696 0.03988 112 95 15 2
2178 They found you, Ypu. 1.1696 0.04185 112 96 13 3
2179 We must’ve made a wrong turn…. 1.1696 0.04373 112 97 11 4
2180 Mars is so much easier. 1.1695 0.03864 118 100 16 2
2181 Your leader” isn’t anywhere on here! 1.1695 0.04222 118 102 12 4
2182 Their leader is named... Joseph a. Banks? 1.1695 0.04047 118 101 14 3
2183 Where do you think we could get some of those novelty antennae? 1.1695 0.03864 118 100 16 2
2184 I hope there’s an Apple Store. I need a recharge. 1.1695 0.04222 118 102 12 4
2185 We come 13 million light-years and you couldn’t even get us to the right level? 1.1695 0.04222 118 102 12 4
2186 Let's find the Universal rest room. 1.1695 0.04709 118 105 6 7
2187 Damn it! We are gonna miss our flight, I knew they wouldn’t have hats in our size! 1.1694 0.04084 124 107 13 4
2188 We spent all the suit money at Dave n Busters didn’t we 1.1692 0.03958 130 112 14 4
2189 Say what you want- Sears was totally worth it. 1.1692 0.03805 130 111 16 3
2190 100 million light years to get here and now we’re lost. 1.1685 0.05113 89 78 7 4
2191 I think they said they capitol building was at the national mall. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
2192 This is so confusing... I just want to buy leggings! 1.1685 0.03991 89 74 15 0
2193 Now where in the heck did we park our car? 1.1684 0.04650 95 82 10 3
2194 Weren't you supposed to bring the credit card? 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
2195 You just had to put Mall Walking on your Other Galaxy Bucket List, didn’t you? 1.1684 0.04884 95 83 8 4
2196 I think we should have made that left at Albuquerque. 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
2197 How is it that you were able to navigate across the galaxy and now can’t find Starbucks? 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
2198 I see where they are, but our planet warned us about using the wrong restroom. 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
2199 I feel under-dressed. 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
2200 It doesn't say anything about a dress code. 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
2201 Oh, look at that. I thought they had closed all of the Gap stores. 1.1683 0.03997 101 85 15 1
2202 Mars…halls. Should we try Marshall’s? 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
2203 I have to admit their shopping malls are better. 1.1683 0.04889 101 89 7 5
2204 But if Spencer’s is closed, how can we possibly find the plasma lamp we need to get home? 1.1683 0.04682 101 88 9 4
2205 Damn it, we landed in the wrong lot. The White Sale is light years from here. 1.1683 0.04682 101 88 9 4
2206 I told you we should have used the restroom on the moon. 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
2207 I feel alienated and lost in this space. 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
2208 Where can we get Reese's Pieces? 1.1683 0.04889 101 89 7 5
2209 No signs of life detected, maybe we should try online 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
2210 I told you we kept passing the same Starbucks 1.1683 0.03997 101 85 15 1
2211 Not even a rudimentary understanding of solar systems. 1.1683 0.03997 101 85 15 1
2212 This must not be Texas. 1.1682 0.03633 107 89 18 0
2213 "Now we're really lost!" 1.1682 0.03868 107 90 16 1
2214 Let's see here. To get to their leader we must go straight, take a right and a quick left. 1.1682 0.04090 107 91 14 2
2215 I told you we’d taken a wrong turn. 1.1682 0.04300 107 92 12 3
2216 Victoria's Secret is as far as I'll go to conform to this planet's dress code. 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
2217 Now to get all the necessary information on this planet at the printed book store. 1.1681 0.04337 113 98 11 4
2218 Don’t let the ‘On Sale’ sign catch you in its tractor beam. 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
2219 Spielberg definitely said he'd meet us here? 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
2220 So what’s first, Cinnabons or clothes? 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
2221 Yes, those are the coordinates for Degnar galaxy but where's the portal entry? 1.1681 0.03643 119 100 18 1
2222 Try to look natural. We’re being shadowed by an agent from Saks. 1.1681 0.03834 119 101 16 2
2223 I sort of want to shop at Victoria's Secret, but they never have my size. 1.1681 0.04189 119 103 12 4
2224 This is slightly less confusing than navigating an asteroid field. 1.1681 0.03643 119 100 18 1
2225 If we find the location where the kids are playing video arcade games, no one will notice us. 1.1681 0.04189 119 103 12 4
2226 It appears to be some sort of cruel self-checkout ploy 1.1681 0.04189 119 103 12 4
2227 It was easier crossing the universe... 1.1680 0.04210 125 109 11 5
2228 This isn't what Rick Steves said. 1.1680 0.04054 125 108 13 4
2229 Take me to your Spencer's 1.1680 0.03722 125 106 17 2
2230 Take me to the pretzels. 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
2231 I was wondering where we were! 1.1667 0.03333 126 105 21 0
2232 Didn't it look round to you? 1.1667 0.03961 102 86 15 1
2233 I think it's the only UFO in the parking lot! How hard will it be to find!? Or did you leave the keys in it? 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
2234 Our predecessor, Xrfurq, died trying to find the source of intelligence in this place. 1.1667 0.04424 102 88 11 3
2235 Calculating 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2236 I guess this answers our question about whether this is an advanced civilization. 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
2237 Could a Craft store have a spacecraft? 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
2238 I know they wrecked the planet Mom, but their jeans are so cute! 1.1667 0.05059 90 79 7 4
2239 To late… I’ve already peed in my pants. 1.1667 0.04301 114 99 11 4
2240 Where's the Hot Topic? 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
2241 First we should probably get some clothes. 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
2242 You promised we'd be invisible if we removed our outer shell, but look, they've already found us! 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
2243 Yes the outfits were cheap, but we can only blend in at one time of the year. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
2244 Shall we visit the Space Age Store? 1.1667 0.03961 102 86 15 1
2245 So I’m both here *and* there? Two places at once? So much for the assurance that earthlings haven’t yet mastered quantum mechanics. 1.1667 0.03924 114 97 15 2
2246 I'm surprised we haven't been arrested yet for public nudity. 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2247 We've almost reached the source that drew us to this planet. Apparently humans call it Cinnabon. 1.1667 0.04651 108 95 8 5
2248 Didn't you say this is an advanced civilization? 1.1667 0.03721 114 96 17 1
2249 This culture is very cruel, we only just got here and already I feel body-shamed. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
2250 They purportedly have the finest pretzel in the Orion Spur 1.1667 0.03863 126 108 15 3
2251 This came up blank on our Galactic Positioning System. 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
2252 I told you we were supposed to hang a left at Zeta Reticuli. 1.1667 0.03984 120 103 14 3
2253 That’s the naked truth 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
2254 Great! I see where we can get Air Jordans ! 1.1667 0.04843 102 90 7 5
2255 Before we pick up zorthian fuel rods at The Sharper Image, can we stop at Hot Dog on a Stick? 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
2256 Did the humans put "out of the world deals" everywhere just for us? 1.1667 0.03961 102 86 15 1
2257 According to this, we parked behind the Bloomingdale's on Alpha Centauri. 1.1667 0.03961 102 86 15 1
2258 I don’t see anything that even suggests plutonium. 1.1667 0.03721 114 96 17 1
2259 I just want to go home 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2260 I'm starving - can we eat everyone first and then get clothes? 1.1667 0.04263 108 93 12 3
2261 Up is down and left is right? Why isn't this oriented correctly? Let's go. There's no intelligent life here. 1.1667 0.04156 120 104 12 4
2262 I guess we made a wrong turn at Jupiter 1.1667 0.04048 132 115 12 5
2263 Fascinating! Rectangular planets. 1.1667 0.03824 96 80 16 0
2264 I don't know! It could be a trick to test whether we can find the right pathway in the maze to find cheese. 1.1667 0.04461 108 94 10 4
2265 Do you think it’s all duty free? 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2266 Well apparently even all-knowing galactic travelers can get lost here 1.1667 0.03924 114 97 15 2
2267 How did these humans make travel so hard?! 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
2268 Do you see the optometrist location on this thing? 1.1654 0.03834 127 109 15 3
2269 Isn't this where she said she would meet us? 1.1654 0.03994 127 110 13 4
2270 >>They exhibit shared behavioral patterns: stroll aimlessly, disappear in side recesses, then come out carrying bags. They are not visibly forced, yet driven.<< Edith Birdsall, Houston, Texas 1.1653 0.03775 121 103 16 2
2271 First let's buy some clothes. 1.1653 0.03775 121 103 16 2
2272 ‘Abercrombie models wanted.’ Is this fate or what? 1.1652 0.04266 115 100 11 4
2273 And we thought we were there. 1.1652 0.03892 115 98 15 2
2274 Pretty limited perspective, but heck--let's try the Food Court anyway. 1.1652 0.03691 115 97 17 1
2275 I hope their political-administrative system is more logically organized than their architecture 1.1652 0.04083 115 99 13 3
2276 It’s so vast. 1.1652 0.03892 115 98 15 2
2277 I don’t know about you, but I feel like we are two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl… 1.1652 0.03892 115 98 15 2
2278 Do you think we should get something at the store behind us and try to blend in? 1.1651 0.04020 109 93 14 2
2279 This doesn't exactly require celestial navigational skills. 1.1651 0.04423 109 95 10 4
2280 Dammit Frank, I don't think we made it to Mercury. How do you zoom out on this? 1.1651 0.03803 109 92 16 1
2281 They’re more advanced than we thought! 1.1651 0.03573 109 91 18 0
2282 You’re telling me the only place I can find something that doesn’t make my butt look big is 65 billion light years away! 1.1651 0.04611 109 96 8 5
2283 We're naked, but nobody is going to care about that. 1.1651 0.03803 109 92 16 1
2284 What is this planet Cinnabon? 1.1651 0.04226 109 94 12 3
2285 I don't think we can buy Universal Health Care here... 1.1651 0.04423 109 95 10 4
2286 We're over budget. Let's do Nordstrom Rack. 1.1651 0.04226 109 94 12 3
2287 Seriously, we go seven hundred light years without stopping for directions and now we can’t find Orange Julius? Unbelievable. 1.1651 0.03803 109 92 16 1
2288 ‘Remember, the ship is parked on B4’ 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
2289 Do you see where we can get a good steak to put some meat on these bones?" 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
2290 what's a 'you'? 1.1650 0.04799 103 91 7 5
2291 I don't see a store for dilithium crystals. Why don't you try Planet Fitness and I'll look at Johnny Rockets. 1.1650 0.04799 103 91 7 5
2292 I think that's a religious symbol.... 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
2293 I keep telling you: there is no ant farm. 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
2294 It's no wonder they prefer online shopping! 1.1650 0.03926 103 87 15 1
2295 I'm guessing none of them will take our credit cards. 1.1650 0.03926 103 87 15 1
2296 We went the wrong way, Larry…you parked the Saucer outside Macy’s 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
2297 Food court? They’re cannibals! 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
2298 I said you took a wrong turn at the Andromeda galaxy, Mr. 'I Don't Need No Freakin' Map!'" 1.1649 0.04789 97 85 8 4
2299 Where are we? 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
2300 How do they know, Trongar? Perhaps they are more advanced than we thought. 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
2301 Welcome to the new season of: "Naked and Afraid: Alien Mall Crawl" 1.1649 0.05009 97 86 6 5
2302 They have been expecting us! 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
2303 Where would they have Ray Bans? 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
2304 How do humans read this? Our crop circles are easier to read. 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
2305 I told you it was the wrong place. It’s Area 51 NOT rue21! 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
2306 I don't see why we travelled three light-years to go to a mall that looks like every other mall in the universe. 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
2307 OK, we're here. But where are our genitals? 1.1649 0.04560 97 84 10 3
2308 Will they accept Galactic Bitcoins? 1.1649 0.04560 97 84 10 3
2309 Where's Sephora? I want to look like those other skinny girls I saw on TikTok 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
2310 I've forgotten how to read paper maps! 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
2311 What on earth happened to Sharper Image? 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
2312 Which bathroom do we use? Men's or Women's? 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
2313 Uh oh. The gender-neutral clothing outlet is way down at the other end of this place. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
2314 I think I smell a Cinnabon. 1.1638 0.03861 116 99 15 2
2315 Will accept Galaxy credit cards? 1.1638 0.03861 116 99 15 2
2316 Well I knew that, but where's here? 1.1638 0.04051 116 100 13 3
2317 I thought Earth had intelligent life. 1.1638 0.03861 116 99 15 2
2318 Let’s start in lingerie and work our way up. 1.1638 0.04232 116 101 11 4
2319 Whaddya mean there's no Radio Shack? 1.1638 0.04051 116 100 13 3
2320 YOU SAID, IF I CAN FIND ALPHA CENTAURI I CAN FIND THE FOOD COURT. 1.1636 0.04571 110 97 8 5
2321 I can't believe that we came all the way from Alpha Centauri 237 for Chuck Taylor high tops. 1.1636 0.04190 110 95 12 3
2322 So many clothing shops, it must be cold here 1.1636 0.04190 110 95 12 3
2323 I told you, you should have asked for directions. 1.1636 0.03986 110 94 14 2
2324 This all looks very alien to me. 1.1636 0.04385 110 96 10 4
2325 After 12 light years and countless generations of life and death aboard our starship, we are only a few historic steps from finally learning Victoria’s secret. 1.1636 0.04190 110 95 12 3
2326 How oddly specific. 1.1636 0.04571 110 97 8 5
2327 What the Hell?!! 1.1636 0.04385 110 96 10 4
2328 It’s a galaxy of … capitalism? 1.1636 0.04385 110 96 10 4
2329 We can get everything we need here just to blend in. 1.1636 0.03771 110 93 16 1
2330 Okay, we'll just get a new probe and we're out of here. 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
2331 Wait, we're supposed walk and figure this out? 1.1635 0.03891 104 88 15 1
2332 We had billions and billions of shopping malls to choose from and we pick the one without a Cinnabon!" 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
2333 Here" must mean "barren wasteland. 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
2334 Forget intelligent life -- we need to find pants. 1.1635 0.03891 104 88 15 1
2335 Face it; we're lost! 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
2336 Now I understand why the tour scheduled the mall after the casino. 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
2337 First things first: an underwear department! 1.1635 0.03644 104 87 17 0
2338 No wonder humans haven’t navigated the universe, they are horrible with directions. 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
2339 This is why we should have used Apple Maps! 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
2340 Where's the Leader Board? 1.1635 0.03891 104 88 15 1
2341 You can find your way from our planet to this one, but you can’t find the Macy’s! 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
2342 These places all smell alike. 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
2343 Are you positive this iPod store can help us returnt home? 1.1635 0.03644 104 87 17 0
2344 127 stores and not a single probe. 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
2345 This terrestrial navigation is weird! 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2346 Ok, clothes first, then Sbarro 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
2347 Forget about being taken to the leader. Three quarters of these stores are history. 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
2348 We forgot out mail-ien rebates at home. 1.1633 0.04516 98 85 10 3
2349 The guy at Information said we could refuel at Starbucks. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2350 This planet is barren and almost devoid of life. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2351 But we know where we are. What's the point of telling us this? 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2352 You go right and I’ll go left…. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2353 I told you to take a left, not a right when we passed that third galaxy. But you. You never listen, do you? 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2354 Look Spencer, they named a store after you.” 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2355 Where's the aliens room? 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2356 People are strange. 1.1633 0.04516 98 85 10 3
2357 Which way to the Mars Bar? 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
2358 The sales here are supposedly out of this world. 1.1633 0.04516 98 85 10 3
2359 Did you remember the credit card? I told you and told you, "Don't leave Ga*wal-ad-jni without it!" 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
2360 Who are they kidding? We “found ourselves” years ago when we decided to shed all our pretenses. 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
2361 You idiot! You brought me to the only mall in the Universe without a Brandy Melville. 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
2362 Of course we are here. We are aliens. 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
2363 Our interstellar space map is easier to read. 1.1630 0.04955 92 81 7 4
2364 I don't recognize half these stores. 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
2365 I live in the same city, but why do I feel like an alien every time I come here? 1.1630 0.03520 135 115 18 2
2366 Just act like you know where we're going 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
2367 I thought we were invisible to earthlings! 1.1628 0.04924 86 75 8 3
2368 Where's the food court? I could really enjoy some fried gzorbll! 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
2369 The directory does show a Piercing Pagoda. Do you think this is where earthlings conduct their version of probing? 1.1624 0.03831 117 100 15 2
2370 When we told the Captain that we wanted to control them all when we landed, I think he misheard us. 1.1624 0.04535 117 104 7 6
2371 Their world sure is small, isn't it? 1.1624 0.03831 117 100 15 2
2372 I guess we can give Petites a shot 1.1624 0.03633 117 99 17 1
2373 I've always found these posters patronizing. It doesn't make our problem any less relevant." 1.1624 0.04018 117 101 13 3
2374 Oh, come on what could they possibly do? We haven’t done anything wrong and we’ve got nothing to hide. 1.1624 0.04018 117 101 13 3
2375 Maybe it's upside down? 1.1623 0.03254 154 131 21 2
2376 Let’s find a clothing store first, then we can grab a bite to eat. 1.1622 0.04348 111 97 10 4
2377 Yes, but where is their leader? 1.1622 0.04155 111 96 12 3
2378 Duh! Of course we are here. Stupid earthlings. Did you bring the Crate & Barrel coupon Arnold? 1.1622 0.03953 111 95 14 2
2379 I think it was an 80's, 90's thing. 1.1622 0.03740 111 94 16 1
2380 We've lost control of our teletransportation! 1.1622 0.03740 111 94 16 1
2381 Well there’s got to be SOMEPLACE that sells probes. 1.1622 0.04155 111 96 12 3
2382 We traveled 23,000 light years to get here and we find they’ve sold out of the perfect shade of blue towels. 1.1622 0.04348 111 97 10 4
2383 I don't think we're in Kansas anymore. 1.1619 0.03857 105 89 15 1
2384 Starbucks? I feel like I’m home. 1.1619 0.04306 105 91 11 3
2385 Oh look--they have a Sbarro here! 1.1619 0.03857 105 89 15 1
2386 The human navigational systems are alien, even to me 1.1619 0.04088 105 90 13 2
2387 I think we made a wrong turn around Tau Ceti! 1.1619 0.03612 105 88 17 0
2388 So we came all the way to THIS? 1.1619 0.04306 105 91 11 3
2389 Do they really think we need help to tell us where we are? 1.1619 0.04088 105 90 13 2
2390 It’s their leader 1.1619 0.03857 105 89 15 1
2391 Which one do you think is their leader? Starbucks? H&M? 1.1619 0.04088 105 90 13 2
2392 I told you not to make the left at Mars! 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
2393 Now we must locate this Director Y and give him our terms. 1.1616 0.04698 99 87 8 4
2394 "Wow! They certainly know how to organize souvenir shops!" 1.1616 0.03986 99 84 14 1
2395 First pants, THEN the food court. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
2396 I we had asked for directions an hour ago, we would be dressed by now. 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
2397 So we come from Beyond and that store is now gone! 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
2398 Petco. We can adopt a human there. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
2399 Oh look they have Bed, Bath & Beyond here too. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
2400 Geez! 56 million kilometers! Just ask someone for directions. 1.1610 0.04335 118 104 9 5
2401 Could have used something like this before you landed our saucer in a swamp. 1.1610 0.03986 118 102 13 3
2402 Let's just go back! 1.1610 0.03986 118 102 13 3
2403 What are "gender-neutral bathrooms?" 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
2404 Clothing stores, clothing stores, clothing stores. What's the point? 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
2405 Guy Fieri seems important. 1.1609 0.05137 87 77 6 4
2406 I never noticed the Ring Nebula had ice cream. 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
2407 5 billion miles! Wow, Waze is really that good... 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
2408 I wonder where Star Wars is playing. 1.1607 0.03486 112 94 18 0
2409 I don’t care if its duty free—the earthlings’ code is too complex. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
2410 Really?! What space cadet came up with this? 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
2411 Which should we conquer first, Barnes and Noble or Toys-r-Us? 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
2412 Yes, I can see that she’s very beautiful, but it’s just a picture. 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
2413 Where is the gender neutral restroom? 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
2414 Okay, now we know where they are, which one do we use? 1.1604 0.04474 106 93 9 4
2415 This explains a lot 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
2416 ‘How did they know were there? These humans are smarter than we thought. 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2417 How about that? It’s a mall world after all. But next time, let’s stay home and order from Amazon.” 1.1604 0.04859 106 95 5 6
2418 Ugh! There are only vegan options at the food court. 1.1604 0.04670 106 94 7 5
2419 I told you we should have turned left after Proxima Centauri not right! 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2420 You say Mars, I say Malls. What’s the difference? 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2421 I don't know about finding our way home . . . at this point, I'd just like to find the nearest Olive Garden. 1.1604 0.03824 106 90 15 1
2422 I hear the Thai place in the food court is out-of-this-world. 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2423 We’re 10 years too late, aren’t we? 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
2424 Find the Cinnabon 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2425 Who said I wanted to be there? 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2426 Maybe we should just ask someone where to find their leader. 1.1600 0.03949 100 85 14 1
2427 It's too complex - just say 'take me to your Cinnabon.'" 1.1600 0.04000 125 109 12 4
2428 Haven’t been to a Spenser’s Gift in 1,000,000 light years 1.1600 0.04654 100 88 8 4
2429 Oh, come on. Yes, Forever 21 will have our size, but it’s not our style. 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2430 Where is the gender department? 1.1600 0.04654 100 88 8 4
2431 But it doesn't say where we parked. 1.1600 0.03949 100 85 14 1
2432 Did you turn off the lights before we left?? 1.1600 0.04431 100 87 10 3
2433 I would much rather do this online. 1.1600 0.04431 100 87 10 3
2434 I think that we took a wrong turn at Saturn. 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2435 No Sunglass Hut?! I must have been thinking of the Esplanade Galleria in the Andromeda Galaxy! 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2436 Let's head to Pizza Planet after lunch 1.1600 0.04654 100 88 8 4
2437 hey how come we ain't got penises? 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2438 Ugh, 2D is so 1D. 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2439 Mall? Didn’t know those really existed! 1.1600 0.03685 100 84 16 0
2440 I feel so naked on this planet. 1.1597 0.03771 119 102 15 2
2441 Remind me which dimension we’re in. 1.1597 0.03771 119 102 15 2
2442 But I wanted to be closer to the arcade! 1.1597 0.03955 119 103 13 3
2443 Wow, this place is more confusing than SPACE 1.1597 0.04300 119 105 9 5
2444 I knew Earthlings came in different colors..but who would have guessed Plaid? 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
2445 Who's you? 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
2446 Damn! We travelled 300 lightyears to get here, and the food court doesn’t sell pizza! 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
2447 Does "You are Here" include the entire Universe? 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
2448 You were supposed to remember which entrance we parked the flying saucer at! 1.1596 0.03797 94 79 15 0
2449 When we said “Take me to your leader” didn’t think it would be so literal as American capitalism in a building. -Taylor S Boston, Mass 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
2450 Wow, they’re smarter than I thought. They have a whole workshop dedicated to building bears. 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
2451 What's a Mall???? 1.1593 0.03679 113 96 16 1
2452 I’m sorry this seems primitive, but you’re the one who refused to ask for directions! 1.1593 0.03458 113 95 18 0
2453 I hope their food court has snyrkx 1.1593 0.04275 113 99 10 4
2454 Wow, those security guards were rude. 'No shirt, no shoes, no service?' I wonder if they treat all out-of-town visitors that way." 1.1593 0.03888 113 97 14 2
2455 But Amazon doesn't have an Orange Julius, does it? 1.1593 0.04086 113 98 12 3
2456 Didn't I tell you, earthlings love their maps. 1.1593 0.03458 113 95 18 0
2457 The HOT TOPIC is out of business?? 1.1593 0.04275 113 99 10 4
2458 Take us to your loss leader. 1.1591 0.04818 88 77 8 3
2459 Quit being stubborn. Just ask someone to take us to their leader. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
2460 It says 'NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE'. 1.1589 0.04434 107 94 9 4
2461 The whole thing looks like a food court to me. 1.1589 0.04017 107 92 13 2
2462 It says 'You are here... or are you?" 1.1589 0.04017 107 92 13 2
2463 Where is the underwear store? 1.1589 0.04231 107 93 11 3
2464 If one of those life forms comes up to us and says klaatu barada nikto I'll just die. 1.1589 0.03791 107 91 15 1
2465 I’ve a feeling we’re not in Xansas anymore. 1.1589 0.04231 107 93 11 3
2466 I don't see any Orange Julius...Don't tell me we came all this way for nothing. 1.1587 0.03807 126 109 14 3
2467 Take me to your lederhosen. 1.1587 0.03457 126 107 18 1
2468 I don’t understand their art. 1.1584 0.03651 101 85 16 0
2469 Define ‘here’. Define ‘are’. 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2470 There are a lot of craters on this planet. 1.1584 0.04610 101 89 8 4
2471 How do they navigate the universe? 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2472 They go through all this just to find something to wear? 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2473 No. we're not where the arrow is. We're here on the floor. Why are they trying to confuse us? 1.1583 0.03742 120 103 15 2
2474 Could ‘The Gap’ be our path to the space-time continuum that got us here? 1.1583 0.03742 120 103 15 2
2475 In their world Margaritaville is only in some shopping centers. They might not have it. 1.1579 0.03506 152 132 16 4
2476 ... but Sears asked us to come 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2477 Do you think they have our size? 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
2478 We are here, but is the truth still out there? (Cue in X-Files theme music) 1.1579 0.04053 114 99 12 3
2479 I left the entry device in the ship. 1.1579 0.03856 114 98 14 2
2480 What is clothing? 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
2481 Where's Elon's X ? 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2482 After that schlep and the lousy parking, they better have my size!” 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2483 You swore by the Supreme Being humankind had eradicated Toys “R” Us! 1.1579 0.03761 95 80 15 0
2484 You said there'd be a Starbucks. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2485 See if you can find the intelligent life department 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2486 The naked truth is I hate shopping for clothes. 1.1579 0.03856 114 98 14 2
2487 I told you we should have stayed home and ordered online. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2488 She doesn’t look like you! 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2489 Florg, look! They still have a Wicks 'n' Sticks! 1.1579 0.04053 114 99 12 3
2490 I heard Auntie Anne’s pretzels are out of this world. 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2491 Check the map for Amazon 1.1579 0.03856 114 98 14 2
2492 Remind me again why they won’t deliver to Mars. 1.1575 0.03941 127 111 12 4
2493 Why cover our bodies now. Never done in movies. 1.1575 0.03779 127 110 14 3
2494 I think we need to check the coordinates. Doesn't look like grandma's new home. 1.1574 0.03758 108 92 15 1
2495 A thriving mall? So we’re time travelers too? 1.1574 0.04194 108 94 11 3
2496 See, I told you the JC Penny has closed. 1.1574 0.03758 108 92 15 1
2497 Ok now look for Spencer Gifts. 1.1574 0.04395 108 95 9 4
2498 Bed Bath and Beyond sounds promising! 1.1574 0.04395 108 95 9 4
2499 So, where is the foreign currency exchange desk? 1.1574 0.03758 108 92 15 1
2500 New leadership seems to have replaced Planet Hollywood. 1.1574 0.03982 108 93 13 2
2501 Maybe we should try "Good Will" instead. 1.1574 0.03982 108 93 13 2
2502 But Mom, you promised I could get my qzzmexks pierced. 1.1574 0.03982 108 93 13 2
2503 Anagram: Take me to your dealer 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
2504 How do we know which one of us the arrow points to? 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
2505 I don’t care where we buy them. We need pants, stat! 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
2506 You gotta' be a rocket scientist to figure this map out. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
2507 The teleportation device must have malfunctio...hey, what happened to our pants!? 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
2508 Brooks Brothers or Talbots first? 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
2509 There's a Star Trek movie showing at the cinema. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
2510 Chico’s or Coldwater Creek? 1.1570 0.04067 121 106 11 4
2511 We should just ask someone to take us to their leader. 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2512 It's the fourth store from Sunglass Hut. 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2513 I don't think this map is to scale. 1.1569 0.03878 102 87 14 1
2514 'So that's why they wanted us to leave the spaceship in an open field.' 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
2515 Are we really "here" or is it just a bad dream that I will soon wake up from? 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
2516 Do you see a site that says "Beam Me Up"? 1.1569 0.03619 102 86 16 0
2517 What?! We came 30 billiion miles, and they have no Orange Julius?! 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
2518 Do you feel a draft? 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2519 Bummer.....no Arby's. 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2520 I told you to pick one that had Nordstrom 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
2521 Do you think they’ll validate for spaceship parking? 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
2522 I told you...the Orange Julius closed down ages ago! 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
2523 I think we’re going to stick out as the only naked people in here. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
2524 The reports are true. No one is here. 1.1565 0.03403 115 97 18 0
2525 I told you it was practically deserted! 1.1565 0.03620 115 98 16 1
2526 I don't think this is the dressing room. 1.1562 0.03725 96 81 15 0
2527 No, no. I said crop circles, not food court circles. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2528 They don’t have Space & M. 1.1562 0.03725 96 81 15 0
2529 Our highly advance artificial intelligence program neglected to mention the bit about wearing clothing. So, we'll just proceed nonchalantly, and perhaps no one will notice. 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
2530 Shoot, Aliens R Us closed! 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
2531 Let's go see that E.T. movie. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2532 First the candy store, then we’ll see where they sell plutonium. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2533 There’s no Auntie Anne’s here? 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2534 Unitard sale at Bloomies sounds good. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2535 nothing" goes her 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
2536 They say it’s haunted. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2537 Burlington Coat Factory seems like a good place to start! 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
2538 We navigated through the galaxy, I'm sure we can find the Gap. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2539 I thought you said there was a Starbucks here. 1.1562 0.03912 128 112 12 4
2540 Over a billion years of humanity evolving, and they still can’t make a way of finding the food court any easier! 1.1562 0.04759 96 85 7 4
2541 What in the universe does this mean? 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2542 If we had asked for directions we would have been here hours ago! 1.1560 0.03727 109 93 15 1
2543 Any clue where we parked the saucer? 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2544 That's patently false! 1.1560 0.03727 109 93 15 1
2545 ...hmm. More impressive on line... 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2546 Where is the duty free section? 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2547 Can you see a restaurant that serves people? 1.1560 0.03491 109 92 17 0
2548 But Captain Bezos told us there would be space available. 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2549 But where are the gender neutral restrooms? 1.1560 0.04357 109 96 9 4
2550 Take me to your Foot Locker 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2551 Maybe we should try something else other than 'Take me to your leader.' 1.1557 0.03496 122 104 17 1
2552 Nobody carries petites anymore! 1.1557 0.04358 122 109 7 6
2553 What? No Sephora? This is bullshit. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
2554 Area 51 outlets are just a myth. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
2555 Maybe we should ask that Santa guy for some new clothes. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
2556 I'm just gonna ask to speak to a manager. 1.1556 0.03466 135 116 17 2
2557 So they all must be food lawyers. 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
2558 What a quaint solar system 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2559 That cinnamon roll aroma is coming from somewhere in here. 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2560 What do you mean there's no Brookstone? 1.1553 0.03587 103 87 16 0
2561 We could relax in - what we're they? - oh yay, the rest rooms. 1.1553 0.03843 103 88 14 1
2562 Well this should take us to their leader. 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2563 Do you see Area 51? 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2564 I was told there would be goth girls. 1.1553 0.04525 103 91 8 4
2565 Will this take us to their Leader? 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2566 I swear there was a Spencer's here when we visited three decades ago.... 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2567 Marge, maybe suits first and then home furnishings” 1.1552 0.03376 116 98 18 0
2568 You are here"?!? Sounds like a topic for an existential discussion. 1.1552 0.03794 116 100 14 2
2569 We need a currency exchange booth for our Zlutzkis 1.1552 0.03987 116 101 12 3
2570 We're going to look funny in their clothes. 1.1552 0.03591 116 99 16 1
2571 Klaatu barada nikto 1.1552 0.03987 116 101 12 3
2572 Is it an Orange Julius or a Dairy Queen? It can’t be both. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
2573 Mission Directive: Locate General Gau and Collect Sample. 1.1548 0.04936 84 74 7 3
2574 We’re at the third Starbucks from the sun 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
2575 It’s better if Mom beams us up from Spencer’s. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
2576 I hope we find uniforms that fit because I heard the shipping charges are astronomical. 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2577 Did you set the coordinates to Planet Hollywood? 1.1546 0.04713 97 86 7 4
2578 Where are the theaters? We are late for ‘the martian’. 1.1546 0.04713 97 86 7 4
2579 I told you we were supposed to make a left at Gemini 9! 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
2580 Look again, there must be a place that sells underwear. 1.1546 0.03690 97 82 15 0
2581 Where's the sun 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2582 You're right, Lulu...we arent anywhere on that map. 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
2583 That's got to be it, on the third floor: Clothes Encounter. 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2584 Who's Spencer? Why a gift? 1.1546 0.03690 97 82 15 0
2585 Makes you wonder why we gave up clothes. 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2586 ET was right about Auntie Ann’s 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
2587 Where do you think we can find their leader? 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2588 Ugh it's so far. We should have just abducted it online. 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
2589 You” must be their leader 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
2590 But will people think we're underdressed? 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
2591 Hope this new frontier has a food court. 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
2592 These people are idiot.We’re not there .We’re here. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
2593 We need to find a Petites Department, before we both get arrested. 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
2594 See, I told you that you should have turned left at Alpha Centauri. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
2595 Wanna abduct some soft pretzels? 1.1538 0.04484 104 92 8 4
2596 Here? Where in the Universe? 1.1538 0.04271 104 91 10 3
2597 I think we made a wrong turn at Andromeda 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
2598 We're too late. This is a dead world. 1.1538 0.03809 104 89 14 1
2599 Quick, where’s the bathroom? 1.1538 0.03855 130 114 12 4
2600 You're positive it's ET&T and not AT&T? 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
2601 The only store that we are dressed for is Walmart. 1.1538 0.03809 104 89 14 1
2602 Why is the restroom always ar the other end of the mall? 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
2603 Five stores dedicated to baseball caps, but not a single antimatter dealer? 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
2604 It must be light-years to a bathroom. 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
2605 Oh boy, public restrooms. Get ready for all the ruckus. 1.1538 0.04137 117 103 10 4
2606 Our leader’s right. There are no signs of intelligent life here. 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
2607 Maybe a clothing store first. 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
2608 Taylor Swift isn't performing here! 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
2609 Curiously they have a container store and another just for lids. 1.1538 0.03809 104 89 14 1
2610 I heard theres a black hole in the Ikea here 1.1538 0.03955 117 102 12 3
2611 It never occurred to me to bring my wallet on this trip. 1.1532 0.03806 124 108 13 3
2612 Zorg said her name is Auntie Anne. 1.1532 0.04470 111 99 7 5
2613 I thought you said we were looking for area sixty TWO? 1.1532 0.04087 111 97 11 3
2614 Turns out The Gap isn’t a wormhole, but those stellar deals sucked me right in! 1.1532 0.04087 111 97 11 3
2615 The Food Court is on the other side, but we can start eating here. 1.1532 0.04087 111 97 11 3
2616 OK WE ARE HERE, BUT WHERE DID WE PARK? 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
2617 We need a clothing store, asap! 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
2618 I wonder if this will direct us to their leader? 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
2619 Where's Waldo? 1.1531 0.04436 98 86 9 3
2620 It’s going to take a lot longer to get home than I thought 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
2621 Now remember, we're on parking level B West" 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
2622 I told you they were shallow....you can see right though them! 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
2623 Sure, here WE are. But where are our genitalia? 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
2624 I thought we parked by the Sears. 1.1531 0.04436 98 86 9 3
2625 But how do we find their leader? 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
2626 I thought you set the GPS for Pocatello. 1.1529 0.03927 85 72 13 0
2627 Exaltation be with us. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
2628 I think something was lost in translation when you asked for us to be taken to their lost leaders. 1.1525 0.04104 118 104 10 4
2629 So much for "non-intelligent life form": They've detected us, we're trapped! And that's only because you absolutely had to have that "Alien Burger"! 1.1525 0.04277 118 105 8 5
2630 GPS coordinates would make this much easier 1.1524 0.04232 105 92 10 3
2631 The last mile to finally clothes, I hope 1.1524 0.04444 105 93 8 4
2632 I told you we were way off course. 1.1524 0.04010 105 91 12 2
2633 Take me to your leader and your P. F. Chang's. 1.1524 0.04010 105 91 12 2
2634 This sign explains the lack of intelligence of humans who go searching for where they’re supposed to be - How can we be on this map when we’re standing right here? J Kinsey - Toronto ONT 1.1524 0.04232 105 92 10 3
2635 According to this these humanoids have no sense of direction. 1.1524 0.04232 105 92 10 3
2636 No Five Guys is not "just as good." We came this far, and I want Shake Shack. 1.1524 0.04444 105 93 8 4
2637 What do you mean they don't have a Gorps? I thought that store was EVERYWHERE! 1.1524 0.03524 105 89 16 0
2638 This ain’t Texas! 1.1524 0.04232 105 92 10 3
2639 I said, "We want them all." 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
2640 I thought the IT guy said, "Mall Wear". Not sure now. 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
2641 I told you Wilbur, you should have taken a left at Saturn! I told you you'd get us lost! Don't roll your eyes at me Wilbur!! 1.1522 0.03765 92 78 14 0
2642 Is there a spanx store? 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2643 And humans think we’re the evil ones. 1.1522 0.04872 92 82 6 4
2644 Darth Mall 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2645 It worked in Miami. 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2646 Dad, I really don’t like these history museums as much as you do. Can we please go somewhere else for bonding time? 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
2647 There's a Wilson's Leather store! Take me to your leather." "If you don't stop making those jokes then I'm going to leave you in this universe. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
2648 This will be perfect for staging our invasion--the place is completely empty. 1.1520 0.04104 125 111 9 5
2649 All these stores with the exact same stuff. And why do they want cover their bodies, anyway? 1.1520 0.04104 125 111 9 5
2650 Ok … “Take us to your Leader” may not work here. 1.1518 0.04053 112 98 11 3
2651 But, can we get there at warp speed? 1.1518 0.03634 112 96 15 1
2652 Even our advanced planetary navigational system would be confused. 1.1518 0.03849 112 97 13 2
2653 I told you we couldn't trust the Earthlings' crude GPS system. 1.1518 0.03849 112 97 13 2
2654 I thought all we needed to do was say take me to your leader. 1.1518 0.04247 112 99 9 4
2655 These beings seem to have not sense of direction and wander aimlessly. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2656 We need to find the multiverse, not the multiplex. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2657 Shorts ‘n shades, then we empty the bank. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2658 It’s a little TOO specific. 1.1515 0.03622 99 84 15 0
2659 Ok, please DON’T act weird or start pointing at things and laughing when we get to Spencer’s or they will DEFINITELY know we’re underage-Just blend in and act normal! 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
2660 Looks like we ended up inside a Kandinsky painting. 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
2661 Their sensors are clearly better than we thought. 1.1515 0.03622 99 84 15 0
2662 I’m not sure what we do here but the guide said this is a New Jersey cultural site. 1.1515 0.03622 99 84 15 0
2663 I know I’m here . Where is the ATM? Where is Santa? And where is the parking??? 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
2664 This map is out of this world. 1.1509 0.03494 106 90 16 0
2665 Don't they offer online shopping? 1.1509 0.04404 106 94 8 4
2666 Damn they closed the Macy's 1.1509 0.03742 106 91 14 1
2667 What did I tell you Harry. You're never willing to listen to directions. Now look where we are. 1.1509 0.03742 106 91 14 1
2668 I forgot my purse at home." 1.1509 0.03742 106 91 14 1
2669 Can we find the Panda Express before we find their leader? The food on the flight here was so bad. 1.1509 0.03742 106 91 14 1
2670 But where can we Phone Home? 1.1509 0.03975 106 92 12 2
2671 Looks like we parked kind of far away. 1.1509 0.03975 106 92 12 2
2672 We might have taken a wrong turn in the wormhole. 1.1509 0.03494 106 90 16 0
2673 Please tell me they have a bathroom. 1.1509 0.03975 106 92 12 2
2674 It’s like this everywhere. All they have are arrows. I’m beginning to think we’ll never actually see a YOU. And no, I don’t think they’re microscopic. 1.1508 0.03575 126 109 15 2
2675 I think we need a clothing store right away. 1.1505 0.03728 93 79 14 0
2676 And just how do you suggest we pay for those new outfits? 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2677 55% of these stores would be out of business if these dopey humans would stop wearing clothes!” 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
2678 All too complicated. Maybe we should just pass on finding souvenirs for the wives. 1.1505 0.04573 93 82 8 3
2679 We should probably start with a clothing store and go from there. 1.1505 0.03728 93 79 14 0
2680 Take—me—to—your—Levi’s. 1.1505 0.04573 93 82 8 3
2681 The shoes here are out of this world 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2682 What no Target? 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
2683 I think we look better without clothes. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2684 Ask it where we parked the spaceship! 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2685 First, a clothing store. This AC is making me shrivel. 1.1504 0.04019 113 99 11 3
2686 We need to find the Leaderboard. 1.1504 0.04019 113 99 11 3
2687 You still have no idea where you parked the space ship, do you... 1.1504 0.04019 113 99 11 3
2688 They put their food on trial before they send it to foot imprisonment. 1.1504 0.03604 113 97 15 1
2689 First let’s buy underwear. Then we can hit up the food court. 1.1504 0.03773 133 117 12 4
2690 I told you! We parked one level up. 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
2691 Oh, come on! Not one farm-to-table restaurant in this entire place? 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
2692 You figure it out. You're supposed to be a level 1 navigator 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
2693 Weren’t these extinct? 1.1500 0.03676 120 104 14 2
2694 We'll need clothes to blend in. Where's the children's shop? 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
2695 Their consumer culture is barbaric - ooh, but they do have a Coldstone Creamery. 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
2696 That tells us NOTHING. 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
2697 I don't know this constellation. 1.1500 0.03273 120 102 18 0
2698 Ooohhh. They have Cinnabon here, too. Yay! 1.1500 0.03862 120 105 12 3
2699 Let's go, this species' wasteful consumer culture is too primitive 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
2700 If there's no TCBY, let's GTFO 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
2701 I’m not seeing Intelligent Life anywhere… 1.1500 0.04578 100 89 7 4
2702 How does this seem hard after millions of miles of interplanetary travel? 1.1500 0.03676 120 104 14 2
2703 Wow, they really must be very liberal with their data privacy. 1.1500 0.03481 120 103 16 1
2704 We traveled 13 billion light-years, and this place has nothing we would want to buy! 1.1496 0.03178 127 108 19 0
2705 So many clothes and you forgot you wallet. 1.1496 0.03549 127 110 15 2
2706 We need a much larger map. 1.1495 0.03940 107 93 12 2
2707 Take us to your Food Court 1.1495 0.03940 107 93 12 2
2708 See? We're no where NEAR the parking garage. 1.1495 0.03710 107 92 14 1
2709 yes, commander, look at the wall! we arrived! we are here! 1.1495 0.04158 107 94 10 3
2710 That’s not telling us much! 1.1495 0.03710 107 92 14 1
2711 We’re never gonna find where we parked our spaceship. 1.1495 0.04158 107 94 10 3
2712 Objectively, we're not. 1.1495 0.03710 107 92 14 1
2713 Finding this planet was easier than finding a bathroom. 1.1495 0.03940 107 93 12 2
2714 C113. Sbarro is in C113. 1.1495 0.03710 107 92 14 1
2715 Maybe we should have worn disguises. 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
2716 Let's do some window shopping and meet here in one nanosecond 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2717 OK, but how do we get home? 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
2718 Oh shit! A ghost! 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
2719 I thought you said they weren't advanced?! 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2720 The hearing must be here, there's the Food Court... 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2721 I though you said we were going to 'Planet' Hollywood. 1.1491 0.03786 114 99 13 2
2722 After traveling here from another galaxy, I'm now feeling kinda' dumb. 1.1491 0.03786 114 99 13 2
2723 Not one phone booth in the place. 1.1491 0.03786 114 99 13 2
2724 I'm telling you, we left the wormhole next to Banana Republic. 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
2725 What happened to Bed, Bath, and Beyond? That store really got me. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2726 How did they know we got here why didn't they tell us about the dress code? 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2727 I've tracked the warm cinnamon smell from home to this food court.... 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2728 It's constantly changing and evolving—basically survival of the faddish. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2729 Look, Xenothorp, it knows where we are! 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2730 And to think Klaatu had the chance to vaporize them. 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
2731 What are clothes? 1.1489 0.04773 94 84 6 4
2732 What have you done? Can AI get us out of this mess? 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
2733 So you drive me 30 light years to find out that the Radio Shack closed?!? 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
2734 Wait, so you are telling me, this is what humans think we look like? 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
2735 when in Rome…clothes! 1.1488 0.03648 121 105 14 2
2736 I hear Hot Topic has nice stuff. 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
2737 Arn, there's nothing here for us--we don't wear clothes and their food is toxic. 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
2738 Let’s get some clothes so we can fit in.” 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
2739 I’ve been smelling Cinabon since Jupiter! 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
2740 Now we just need to remember where we parked. 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
2741 All signs of life seem to have disappeared. 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
2742 No exotic Pet Store? Where can we buy a human? 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
2743 X2567ck said we had to try an Auntie Anne pretzel. 1.1485 0.04535 101 90 7 4
2744 The plan is foolproof: new threads and a make-over. 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
2745 We came in the wrong portal. 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
2746 Ah yessss! This one still has a Spencer’s. 1.1485 0.03556 101 86 15 0
2747 Apparently Earthlings get lost a lot, so don't feel bad for the abductions, 1.1485 0.03556 101 86 15 0
2748 Let's see if we can find humanity's common sense. 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
2749 No antenna stores? This concept is on the path to extinction! 1.1484 0.03857 128 113 11 4
2750 Well, this is ironic. 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
2751 They said to meet them at the Roswell Mall. But WHERE at the Roswell Mall? 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
2752 Quick, we need to get to a Thin & Short store first. 1.1481 0.03434 108 92 16 0
2753 I love a good mystery, so I'd like to know the mystery of Victoria's Secret, wouldn't you? 1.1481 0.03434 108 92 16 0
2754 Where's the coordinate number? 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
2755 Where can we find something that will really make me stand out? 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
2756 Take me to your... What is this, Sbarro? 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
2757 We need cargo pants and polos if we want to fit in. 1.1478 0.03953 115 101 11 3
2758 I love their burritos, but I just don't get their art. 1.1478 0.03953 115 101 11 3
2759 My froyo place is closed 1.1478 0.03546 115 99 15 1
2760 No. I said Chinese food. Not Panda Express. 1.1478 0.03546 115 99 15 1
2761 Wait, I thought we were in Area 51." 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
2762 So no Panda Express? 1.1477 0.04992 88 79 5 4
2763 Where's the shop with out-of-this world prices and stellar service? 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
2764 Where shall we go first, Zontar--Radio Shack or Sharper Image? 1.1475 0.03802 122 107 12 3
2765 I know we parked and came in and there was a Sbarro's, but there are three Sbarro's on this map. 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
2766 We should've made a left at Venus. 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
2767 I told you that wasn't one of Saturn's moons you idiot. 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
2768 I hope they still have green foundation at Sephora. 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
2769 Never mind their leader. Here’s where we find their influencers. 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
2770 You managed to navigate us 44 light years across the universe for this sale and now you're telling me you can't find the Macy's??? 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
2771 Did you validate? 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
2772 I have a feeling we're not in Lepton 3 anymore. 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
2773 This is so lame. Can't we just go home? 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
2774 Didn't you calibrate the system specifically for malls with a Cheesecake Factory? 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
2775 We travelled the Universe & hopped galaxies… just to be trapped in some sort of terrifying, torture chamber of a MAZE? 1.1471 0.04271 102 90 9 3
2776 Strange how this is the only place in the galaxy that can alleviate your desire to consume wicker furniture. 1.1471 0.04271 102 90 9 3
2777 You know, we could have used something like this when we were lost in the Milky Way. 1.1471 0.04271 102 90 9 3
2778 Human encounters are not what they're cracked up to be. 1.1471 0.04038 102 89 11 2
2779 On Earth you can have millions of followers but that does not make you a leader. 1.1471 0.04493 102 91 7 4
2780 Did you bring your credit card? 1.1471 0.03790 102 88 13 1
2781 According to legend, this is where humans used to come to purchase necessities and to socialize. 1.1471 0.03790 102 88 13 1
2782 Can we exchange our currency at Star Bucks? 1.1471 0.04038 102 89 11 2
2783 But I really don’t feel naked 1.1471 0.03524 102 87 15 0
2784 I never expected Earth to be so desolate. 1.1471 0.03790 102 88 13 1
2785 We'll never find their leader THIS way! 1.1468 0.04086 109 96 10 3
2786 SEE IF YOU CAN FIND THEIR LEADER. 1.1468 0.04086 109 96 10 3
2787 Cinnabon smells good, but I’d like to try Orange Julius 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
2788 You promised this one had an Apple store. 1.1468 0.03646 109 94 14 1
2789 They must have some kind of new tracking device. 1.1468 0.03646 109 94 14 1
2790 Can you believe Spencer's is still in business? 1.1468 0.03646 109 94 14 1
2791 I told you we should have followed the GPS directions…. 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
2792 We know where WE are! Where is their leader? 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
2793 I thought we could take the Earthlings by surprise, but look -- they already know where we are. 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
2794 we need gas money, lets try Star Bucks... What else could it mean? 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
2795 Hey, do you remember where we parked the U.F.O?, Let’s eat some people, I’m starving! 1.1468 0.03646 109 94 14 1
2796 How are we supposed to get to their leader? 1.1466 0.03518 116 100 15 1
2797 But my coupon is for Bed Bath & Beyond! 1.1463 0.04945 82 73 6 3
2798 First, clothes. 1.1463 0.03773 123 108 12 3
2799 Boy, are they going to be surprised. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2800 'You' is the plural of 'they.' So they must be on to us. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2801 We’ll never get out of here! 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2802 It doesn't look like the galaxy on the GPS. 1.1461 0.03765 89 76 13 0
2803 Think there will be any space in the food court? 1.1458 0.03621 96 82 14 0
2804 They say the humans who are ready to be eaten gather at this place called the Food Court. 1.1458 0.04437 96 85 8 3
2805 What do you mean 'what universe is this?' You are our pilot. 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
2806 It looks like Orange Julius must be their leader 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
2807 We KNOW where WE are. Where's their leader??? 1.1458 0.04437 96 85 8 3
2808 I told you we should've turned left on StarCluster576*2#49*. 1.1458 0.04437 96 85 8 3
2809 No frozen protoplasm? Malls are so dead…. 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
2810 Maybe their leader lives in Cinnabon. 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
2811 Their solar system is really messed up. 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
2812 That’s hardly the kind of greeting I was expecting! 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
2813 Would this map take us to their leader? 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
2814 We need two black suits. That’s what they all wear apparently. 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
2815 But where is "Mall"? 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
2816 So, where are the pay phones? 1.1456 0.04232 103 91 9 3
2817 So, HOW many light years to find Macy's? 1.1456 0.04860 103 94 3 6
2818 It's almost as bewildering as being back home! 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
2819 Their "HERE" is not our"HERE" ! 1.1456 0.04001 103 90 11 2
2820 What makes you think that we're at the center of a dying civilization? 1.1456 0.03493 103 88 15 0
2821 My internal GPS is shouting reroute, reroute, reroute. 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
2822 'I can't put my finger on it, but I just feel very seen' 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
2823 Where is the discount Probe store? 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
2824 No, they are here. We are everywhere. 1.1456 0.04001 103 90 11 2
2825 I thought you said you fixed the GPS!! 1.1456 0.04001 103 90 11 2
2826 This map added a billion light years to our return. 1.1456 0.04001 103 90 11 2
2827 Let's see if we can decipher Victoria's Secret! 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
2828 This doesn't look like Supernova456AIX 1.1456 0.04232 103 91 9 3
2829 My daughter claims the most popular kids from the most popular galaxies insist this is the center of the universe. 1.1455 0.03839 110 96 12 2
2830 I think we made a wrong turn at the Orion Nebula. 1.1455 0.03839 110 96 12 2
2831 Okay, but it still doesn't tell us where we left the space ship! John Allan, Kingston, Ontario. 1.1455 0.03839 110 96 12 2
2832 All of a sudden I'm feeling very naked. 1.1455 0.03615 110 95 14 1
2833 Clothing store first, then sunglasses store, then back to X. 1.1455 0.03377 110 94 16 0
2834 Okay dude, right about the grains of sand thing. Way smaller. 1.1455 0.04051 110 97 10 3
2835 It's true, every food court has teriyaki chicken. 1.1455 0.03839 110 96 12 2
2836 I don't see the White House. 1.1455 0.04252 110 98 8 4
2837 We travel a million light years for a Cinnabon and you won't ask for directions! 1.1453 0.04251 117 105 7 5
2838 I told you that a trip to Earth would help us “find ourselves”. 1.1453 0.03695 117 102 13 2
2839 Finding their leader is going to be tougher than we thought. 1.1453 0.03490 117 101 15 1
2840 Did they move the Auntie Anne’s again? 1.1453 0.03889 117 103 11 3
2841 Maybe we can get by with resembling mall security guards. 1.1452 0.03745 124 109 12 3
2842 I'm so confused! Let's just tell someone to take us to their food court. 1.1446 0.05180 83 75 4 4
2843 we really need to find a Gap. 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
2844 What, no "Build-A-Spaceship"? 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
2845 I thought someone was supposed to greet us. 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
2846 A billion light years away, now you can't locate the restrooms. 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
2847 I don't think we're on the mother-ship any more, Harry. 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
2848 Of all the places you could have taken me for our getaway, and you chose this strange destination. 1.1444 0.04886 90 81 5 4
2849 Life's short Gronk, buy the bag 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
2850 Where is Chick-fil-A? 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
2851 Are these the humans we had been admiring all the time? 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
2852 You find the space ship and I'll find the quarter. 1.1443 0.04394 97 86 8 3
2853 Just what is this 'here' now? 1.1443 0.04394 97 86 8 3
2854 Who would have thought renting a tuxedo could be so difficult? 1.1443 0.03875 97 84 12 1
2855 I think we took a wrong turn at Venus. 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
2856 Told you not to listen to Waze. 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
2857 So this is what humans call “contemporary art?” 1.1443 0.03875 97 84 12 1
2858 I think we took the wrong trajectory just after we passed Mars. 1.1443 0.03587 97 83 14 0
2859 Where are the clothing stores? 1.1443 0.03587 97 83 14 0
2860 Do we want men's clothing or women's clothing? 1.1443 0.03587 97 83 14 0
2861 Do you think anyone will notice that we’re underdressed? 1.1443 0.04394 97 86 8 3
2862 „that’s what they call flat-eartheners“ 1.1443 0.04394 97 86 8 3
2863 We know where we are, but where is their leader? 1.1442 0.03722 104 90 13 1
2864 How can we not be at the Orange Julius yet? 1.1442 0.03965 104 91 11 2
2865 Remember to be loud and obnoxious and we'll fit right in. 1.1442 0.03722 104 90 13 1
2866 I can’t find the Cinnabon. 1.1442 0.03722 104 90 13 1
2867 When I asked where my saucer was, they sent me to china. 1.1442 0.03965 104 91 11 2
2868 Where’s our galaxy? 1.1442 0.03965 104 91 11 2
2869 So, where's the Air and Space Museum? 1.1442 0.03462 104 89 15 0
2870 I knew we shouldn't have trusted the GPS Map 1.1442 0.03965 104 91 11 2
2871 Dude, it’s not their fault… they can’t even map stars yet. 1.1442 0.04193 104 92 9 3
2872 E.T. phone home. Need Mom pick up. 1.1442 0.03965 104 91 11 2
2873 Apparently they haven’t yet realized that to always know where you are is the last refuge of the unimaginative.” 1.1441 0.03807 111 97 12 2
2874 Interesting. In 1974 humans could read a map. 1.1441 0.03807 111 97 12 2
2875 I don't care if we are wearing masks, we need to find a clothing store immediately! 1.1441 0.04016 111 98 10 3
2876 I think we're going to need a different map to get out of this situation. 1.1441 0.03585 111 96 14 1
2877 Confirmed, we can find everything needed to document a human apocalypse 1.1441 0.03807 111 97 12 2
2878 I detect multiple discounts on pre-pubescent undercarriage coverings. 1.1441 0.03349 111 95 16 0
2879 i think we should start with some underpants. Yes, let's look up human underpants. 1.1441 0.03807 111 97 12 2
2880 It would take truly intelligent life to figure out the schematics of this map. 1.1441 0.03666 118 103 13 2
2881 Don't worry," you said. "I'll remember where we park the saucer," you said 1.1441 0.03666 118 103 13 2
2882 What’s a travel agent? 1.1441 0.03666 118 103 13 2
2883 The mall is just about empty. The slaves of fashion must have been set free. 1.1441 0.04042 118 105 9 4
2884 G D F lower octave A E 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
2885 we really need clothes 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
2886 Well, there was a Sears Roebuck the last time I was here. And a B. Dalton! 1.1429 0.03431 105 90 15 0
2887 I'm sure you'd figure it out eventually, dear, but I'll bet one of them would be willing take us to their leader if you would just ask. 1.1429 0.03775 112 98 12 2
2888 Emperor of the Universe Bezos has banished us to the time before Prime. 1.1429 0.04351 98 87 8 3
2889 Humm...let's go to the underwear store first. 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
2890 Let's find that arcade and play Space Invaders. 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
2891 This map makes no sense to me, maybe they are more advanced than we think" 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
2892 We’ve traveled 12,000 light years and all the stores are out of Stanley cups? 1.1429 0.03857 126 112 10 4
2893 I think we paid too much to that guy who told us to come here to see his leader! 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
2894 My wife wants a pretzel. 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
2895 No intelligent life here just consumerism. 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
2896 Mind spotting me? I left my wallet in our other humans pants... 1.1429 0.03689 91 78 13 0
2897 We're gonna get called at the Brandy Melville on this planet too aren't we 1.1429 0.04811 98 89 4 5
2898 I see that, but we still don’t know where we parked. 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
2899 I wonder which one of these stores offers parking validation for space ships. 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
2900 This star chart has so many places to buy clothes, which, who needs that? 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
2901 We found the only mall in the galaxy without a Starbucks? 1.1429 0.03689 105 91 13 1
2902 I sense this is a place of deep alienation — we’ll fit right in! 1.1429 0.04156 105 93 9 3
2903 Pretty far to go for just a Cinnabon. 1.1429 0.03775 112 98 12 2
2904 You took me all the way to this planet just to go to the Cheesecake Factory? 1.1429 0.04835 91 82 5 4
2905 Miu Miu first. 1.1429 0.03929 105 92 11 2
2906 Looks just like our map of the galaxy. 1.1429 0.03553 98 84 14 0
2907 So where’d we leave our transport rocket? 1.1429 0.03775 112 98 12 2
2908 I really don't need the "Bed" or "Bath" stuff. But "And Beyond" sounds promising! 1.1429 0.04370 105 94 7 4
2909 I feel out of our world right now... 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
2910 All this way and no Cinnabon! 1.1429 0.03689 91 78 13 0
2911 I warned you when we left Mars! And now we're neither here nor there! 1.1429 0.03689 105 91 13 1
2912 Exactly where in the mall are we meeting the flat earth society? 1.1429 0.03775 112 98 12 2
2913 Have you memorized the number where we left the ship in the parking lot? 1.1429 0.03689 105 91 13 1
2914 There’s an area for “Men’s Clothing” and another for “Women’s Clothing,” but what’s this department for “They Clothing?” 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
2915 So which way to those massage chairs I keep hearing about? 1.1429 0.03689 105 91 13 1
2916 This species needs a map to see what’s right in front of them? You are right…they clearly have very under-developed brains. 1.1429 0.03689 105 91 13 1
2917 Too rudimentary. It gives us levels and directions, but doesn't place them in the space time continuum. 1.1429 0.03512 126 110 14 2
2918 Google Space gave us the wrong directions. 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
2919 Of all the trillions of possible places in the universe, how do they know we’re here? 1.1429 0.04351 98 87 8 3
2920 I still don’t see how to get to their leader. 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
2921 Do you think this will take us to their leader? 1.1429 0.03435 119 103 15 1
2922 You have two light years and then I'm going home. 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
2923 Where’s the phone? 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
2924 We’re very far from any forests or zoo yet we can Build-A Bear?!! Marcy, those have big sharp claws, so no. Ooo! Maybe there’s a Build-A-Dog. 1.1429 0.04156 105 93 9 3
2925 If we don’t find the “Old Navy” we’ll never blend in as civilians! 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
2926 These earthlings got dimensions all wrong 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
2927 Notify the leadership, that we made it. 1.1429 0.03555 112 97 14 1
2928 We have reached the uninhabited territory. 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
2929 We need Lenscrafters, L L Bean, Victoria's Secret, and that Cinnabon smelled out of this world! 1.1417 0.03797 120 106 11 3
2930 They know a lot more about us than we give them credit for. 1.1417 0.03977 120 107 9 4
2931 Big and tall men" is close... 1.1416 0.03294 113 97 16 0
2932 ‘I just want to know where their leader is… ‘ 1.1416 0.03294 113 97 16 0
2933 Do you think that clothing store will have something we'll like? 1.1416 0.03294 113 97 16 0
2934 If this is a galaxy map we are in trouble 1.1415 0.03656 106 92 13 1
2935 Yet, still no restroom. 1.1415 0.03656 106 92 13 1
2936 I told you that you took a wrong turn at Alpha Centauri 1.1415 0.04331 106 95 7 4
2937 We could just skip the lines with the tractor beam 1.1415 0.03894 106 93 11 2
2938 No cinnamon-flavored confection in the universe can be worth this headache. 1.1415 0.03894 106 93 11 2
2939 This place is more confusing than the Mall of Galaxy on Kepler-249 b. 1.1415 0.03894 106 93 11 2
2940 Where did everyone go? 1.1415 0.03656 106 92 13 1
2941 We can take pics and sit on ET's lap on floor §, but can't seem to find the UFAO Schwartz 1.1415 0.03894 106 93 11 2
2942 I don't think that we are in Kansas anymore. 1.1414 0.04064 99 87 10 2
2943 I told you we made a wrong turn at the Clothes Barn. 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
2944 Let's just ask for help. Your misreading a map is how we ended up here in the first place. 1.1414 0.04310 99 88 8 3
2945 Yes, we’re here. 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
2946 Seems to be lacking in all respects, or am I projecting? 1.1414 0.03520 99 85 14 0
2947 The Gap or Banana Republic? 1.1414 0.04310 99 88 8 3
2948 Got us lost again, Greg? This is Andromeda all over again. 1.1414 0.04064 99 87 10 2
2949 I wish we knew they invented clothes after they sent out the first plaque. 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
2950 I sure hope you remember where we parked the ship. 1.1414 0.04064 99 87 10 2
2951 Where's McDonald's? 1.1414 0.04064 99 87 10 2
2952 I told you we should have taken a left turn at Forever 21. 1.1414 0.04064 99 87 10 2
2953 I just don't think any of these places has the perfect Little Grey Dress. 1.1413 0.03652 92 79 13 0
2954 I can’t believe there is no Anthropologie here. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
2955 Probably a religious depiction of their earliest ancestors...The Queenhuman and her mate don't look anything at all like the workerhumans... 1.1413 0.03652 92 79 13 0
2956 We traveled six thousand light years and you pick a place without an Orange Julius? 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
2957 I say, Zargon, this place is more difficult to exit than a black hole! 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
2958 Escalators instead of wormholes? Three stars for Earth’s mall! 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
2959 Let’s be edgy and go find our next specimen in Free People. 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
2960 We need to buy some clothes right away. 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
2961 I thought you said Planet Fitness was here. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
2962 Don't you dare looking at her 1.1413 0.04528 92 82 7 3
2963 Is there a toupee store? 1.1413 0.04528 92 82 7 3
2964 take me to your Apple Store 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
2965 This is more confusing than the wormhole we just traversed. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
2966 Do you think we’ll find intelligent life here? 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
2967 We thought Amazon had killed in store shopping by now! 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
2968 I don't remember being here the last time. 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
2969 I see their space launch technology is something called an escalator. 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
2970 On this planet Sears still exists 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
2971 Where's the navigator when we really need it? 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
2972 I don’t see the word leader anywhere. Do you? 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
2973 I was hoping to update our space at 'Bed, Bath and Beyond'." 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
2974 Wonder if they have dried rutabaga? 1.1405 0.03580 121 106 13 2
2975 That's not in our alien languages database 1.1405 0.03580 121 106 13 2
2976 I told you Macy's was at the other end of the mall! 1.1404 0.03916 114 101 10 3
2977 I think we’re overdressed. 1.1404 0.03916 114 101 10 3
2978 We won't find intelligent life in here... 1.1404 0.04294 114 103 6 5
2979 The guy we abducted from Alabama said this is where M'all were going. 1.1404 0.03712 114 100 12 2
2980 This is the stellar place I've been telling you about. 1.1404 0.03916 114 101 10 3
2981 This looks so Alien to me 😱 1.1404 0.03916 114 101 10 3
2982 Well I see a Leader Bank… 1.1404 0.03497 114 99 14 1
2983 I thought we already passed the Andromeda galaxy. 1.1402 0.03624 107 93 13 1
2984 I don't think we are in space anymore 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
2985 Who's "you are"? 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
2986 This changes everything. They’ve solved bilocation. 1.1400 0.04269 100 89 8 3
2987 Okay, now where's their leader? 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
2988 We should have dropped bread crumbs. 1.1400 0.04499 100 90 6 4
2989 I have no cash. Where’s Starbucks? 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
2990 It is easier to get to Mars than it is a restroom in this place. To get to Mars all you need is a compass.p 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
2991 I’ve heard these places are full of empty space these days. 1.1400 0.04025 100 88 10 2
2992 No wallet- no Starbucks 1.1400 0.04025 100 88 10 2
2993 Abercrombie & Fitch?! What are they doing on this planet? 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
2994 According to my Universal Translator we can change our currency at Starbucks. 1.1400 0.04025 100 88 10 2
2995 It holds some of the planet's strangest lifeforms. 1.1400 0.04499 100 90 6 4
2996 Let's not even THINK of asking someone to "take us to your food-court!!" 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
2997 It looks like only ghosts are coming to the mall these days. 1.1400 0.04025 100 88 10 2
2998 Why were those young female humans so mean about our bodies? 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
2999 The last mall in the universe is dying. 1.1400 0.04025 100 88 10 2
3000 I swear the clothes shop, was on this level, it says right here, that ‘we are here’ 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
3001 I really miss the local stores, these big chains are completely alienating. 1.1400 0.04269 100 89 8 3
3002 I have a feeling we're not in Klepflaltek anymore. 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
3003 Until we buy some clothes this is going to be like a bad dream. 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
3004 It's offensive that people call this experience alienating. 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
3005 My cousin works in the Hot Topic. 1.1400 0.04269 100 89 8 3
3006 Open message X225...it's says we're being used for some caption contest in a magazine...whatever THAT means. 1.1399 0.03660 143 128 10 5
3007 Can't believe we drove 5,000 lightyears and they don't even have the massage chair we wanted! 1.1398 0.04735 93 84 5 4
3008 When your Hive Brother says “Gag me with a spoon”, but you know that’s not where the probe goes. 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
3009 Vavak, don't you feel a bit alienated here? 1.1398 0.03615 93 80 13 0
3010 I did not come here to go shopping! 1.1398 0.04481 93 83 7 3
3011 Im looking for a man in finance, 6’5”, blue eyes 1.1398 0.04481 93 83 7 3
3012 I know, but where are we really? 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
3013 Take me to your clothier. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
3014 Do you want to go to the shoe store or the dress shop first? 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
3015 "I told you to pay attention to where we parked the car" ...... "and by the way, where are you keeping the keys?" 1.1391 0.03469 115 100 14 1
3016 Do you think one of these stores has our size? 1.1391 0.03469 115 100 14 1
3017 I need some yoga stuff. Do you see a Lululemon? 1.1391 0.03469 115 100 14 1
3018 Where was this when we lifted off? 1.1391 0.03884 115 102 10 3
3019 I think that they have finally admitted that we are here! 1.1389 0.03826 108 95 11 2
3020 Of all the malls in the galaxy, you had to pick the one without a Starbucks. 1.1389 0.03826 108 95 11 2
3021 ChatGPT must have given us the wrong directions to Mars again 1.1389 0.03593 108 94 13 1
3022 Maybe "Things Remembered" can help fill that gap in your memory? 1.1386 0.03988 101 89 10 2
3023 Where's the store with the Reese's Pieces? 1.1386 0.04229 101 90 8 3
3024 And you claimed no one would even notice we were here. 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
3025 All well and good, but who do we see about closing up the space between 'R' and 'Y'? 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
3026 What's the point of going to Victoria's Secrets? 1.1386 0.03988 101 89 10 2
3027 I hope they have an Orange Julius. 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
3028 Let's investigate the Halloween store everyone is telling us is so good. 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
3029 We always find something, eh Didi, to let us think we exist? 1.1386 0.03455 101 87 14 0
3030 This race's use of second-person POV writing in this context feels contrived. 1.1386 0.03988 101 89 10 2
3031 I thought you said there would be lots of humans here!” Christin Street, Savannah, Georgi 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
3032 We've been exposed! 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
3033 I know we're HERE. Just tell us the nearest place that sells pants. 1.1386 0.03988 101 89 10 2
3034 Do you think they'll notice we're naked? 1.1386 0.03455 101 87 14 0
3035 I can't believe we can travel five light years but can not find the food court! 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
3036 Do you remember which floor we parked the ship? We need to pay the parking meteor. 1.1385 0.03411 130 114 14 2
3037 Now I understand why they have nightmares about awakening naked. 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
3038 This crop circle navigation system seems pretty low tech... 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
3039 Interesting. There's a 'FOR EVERYONE' room just around the corner. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
3040 The only thing they have “from the future” is ice cream. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
3041 No more Orange Julius? 1.1383 0.04436 94 84 7 3
3042 Why do they always draw us with these wimpy little bodies? 1.1383 0.03580 94 81 13 0
3043 See Randy, I told you there’s no more Orange Juliuses anywhere in the galaxy. 1.1383 0.04436 94 84 7 3
3044 Our instructions are to find 'Your Leader'. Pretty sure it's close to the Cinnabon. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
3045 Where is the place that humans get free samples 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
3046 Yes, but in which universe? 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
3047 Locating the food court is harder than finding this planet in the first place! 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
3048 Our Galactic Positioning System isn’t vey good. Where is Mall Galaxy? 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
3049 There are no stores here that stock parts for our UFO, so I'm afraid we must order them from Amazon. 1.1379 0.03852 116 103 10 3
3050 What do you mean "not the right brands"?! We drove all this way ... 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
3051 Steven says to meet him at the theather. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
3052 You really couldn’t wait for the next rest stop? 1.1379 0.04674 87 78 6 3
3053 I’m not sure Pottery Barn sells that type of saucer. 1.1376 0.03793 109 96 11 2
3054 We traveled light years and can't figure out this stupid mall map! 1.1376 0.03793 109 96 11 2
3055 The Directory is worthless. It fails to show us how to return to outer space. 1.1376 0.04011 109 97 9 3
3056 Bird Feeders!? ... I said take me to your Herd Leaders!! 1.1376 0.03793 109 96 11 2
3057 Do you see ‘our leader’ listed somewhere? 1.1376 0.04011 109 97 9 3
3058 Which way to Spencer’s Gifts? 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
3059 I thought you said there was a RadioShack. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
3060 Do you see leader? I don’t see leader. 1.1373 0.04189 102 91 8 3
3061 Aaah, wouldn’t you know it—Victoria’s Secret has relocated. 1.1373 0.03951 102 90 10 2
3062 It's confusing. I just need something summer-y that doesn't stand out. 1.1373 0.04189 102 91 8 3
3063 I thought they were into the natural look....so why cover up the best parts? 1.1373 0.03697 102 89 12 1
3064 Where is our restroom? 1.1373 0.03951 102 90 10 2
3065 See, this world is only partially abandoned 1.1373 0.03697 102 89 12 1
3066 You literally just flew through two galaxies, and now you’re lost? 1.1373 0.03951 102 90 10 2
3067 Which clothing store do you like? 1.1373 0.03951 102 90 10 2
3068 Ah, so this is the Banana Republic. 1.1373 0.04189 102 91 8 3
3069 The fuck is a ‘Mall’?! 1.1371 0.03681 124 110 11 3
3070 So, let me get this straight. We're going to share our space travel science with a species that needs a map for a building? 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
3071 You just hafta say “take me to your loss leader.” 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
3072 O. K. we're here ... but where are our clothes? 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
3073 Are you sure you'd rather not just destroy the planet? 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
3074 Am I to assume this is the current center of the universe? 1.1368 0.03545 95 82 13 0
3075 If there's no Orange Julius in this mall, I'm gonna probe myself. 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
3076 We came halfway across the galaxy and now we can't find our store?! 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
3077 Take me to you LIDL 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
3078 Excited to find out if all the hype about Blockbuster Video is justified! 1.1368 0.04639 95 86 5 4
3079 I don't know about you, but I know I'm not there, and I'm now feeling a strong urge to make a deposit 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
3080 When did Spencer's close? 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
3081 Once we find Old Navy, I think we'll blend in much better 1.1368 0.03545 95 82 13 0
3082 Gee, I feel as small as an ant in the scheme of the universe. 1.1368 0.04391 95 85 7 3
3083 Anthropologie...? 1.1368 0.03545 95 82 13 0
3084 64 thousand light years to get here and you can’t find Jamba Juice? 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
3085 Honey, I think you loaded the wrong map into the transporter. 1.1368 0.03623 117 103 12 2
3086 Victoria's Secret sounds like a good place to get some clothing. 1.1368 0.03623 117 103 12 2
3087 Do we need Speedos or warm wear? 1.1368 0.03623 117 103 12 2
3088 Look under Books & Gifts—Take Me to Your Reader. Is this some sort of sick joke? 1.1368 0.03623 117 103 12 2
3089 Gee, I really miss the Orange Julius that used to be here 1.1368 0.03623 117 103 12 2
3090 I hate to say it, but the deals really are out of this world. 1.1364 0.03532 110 96 13 1
3091 I think I want to go home! 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
3092 Ehhh...I hear the atmosphere at Auntie Anne's isn't great. 1.1364 0.03760 110 97 11 2
3093 Our batteries are not on sale at this mall. Maybe we should look in the country side. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
3094 This is not the visitor’s center. 1.1364 0.03287 110 95 15 0
3095 Maybe Victoria's secret is that she knows where they sell Dilithium Crystals. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
3096 Okay, so how do we get back to the toy store? 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
3097 So we turn left at Starbucks, go past the other Starbucks, and then the one we need is on the right, opposite another Starbucks? Got it 1.1364 0.03760 110 97 11 2
3098 Forty-five lightyears without having to ask for directions. Now you can’t remember where you parked the saucer. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
3099 Ok, I know where we are but I forgot where we parked the saucer. 1.1364 0.03760 110 97 11 2
3100 I though we had totally escaped the Radons, @#$%?, but look, they know right where we are. 1.1364 0.03760 110 97 11 2
3101 Jeez, Jet, what a titillating Date Night Tuesday! Had I known I’d be strutting around here in my bday suit, I’d have packed my tennis shoes and gotten in some steps. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
3102 Spencer’s is closed?!? Well, zrap. This was the only place in the galaxy that had those magic mirrors and rubber fluff balls that I’d give away as abductee parting gifts. 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
3103 Swell. Men's room. Lades' room. But where's ours? After all, we need a rest. 1.1359 0.03914 103 91 10 2
3104 'I don't see any leader on here." 1.1359 0.03393 103 89 14 0
3105 This motherfucker… 1.1359 0.04374 103 93 6 4
3106 I'm warning you now, Carla. Their dressing room lighting is the worst in this galaxy. 1.1359 0.04150 103 92 8 3
3107 Can you believe all the clothing stores around here? 1.1359 0.03393 103 89 14 0
3108 So this is the map of their planet. 1.1359 0.03914 103 91 10 2
3109 Do you see a LEGO store? 1.1359 0.03663 103 90 12 1
3110 It’s five light years to the men’s department. 1.1359 0.03663 103 90 12 1
3111 I know that. But where did we park? 1.1359 0.04150 103 92 8 3
3112 Maybe there isn't a Starbucks" 1.1359 0.03663 103 90 12 1
3113 I told you they closed the Sears. 1.1359 0.03663 103 90 12 1
3114 Suddenly, I feel underdressed for dinner. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
3115 Take me to your anchor store. 1.1356 0.03790 118 105 10 3
3116 We're doomed. Were lost and our AAA membership has expired. 1.1356 0.04155 118 107 6 5
3117 Wait! How can we be “here-here” when it says we’re “there-here?” 1.1356 0.03386 118 103 14 1
3118 Want to take the elevator or do you just want to beam up, Scotty? 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
3119 "Ya know, I don't think the new invisibility shield is working." 1.1354 0.03810 96 84 10 1
3120 Abstract art! This civilization is more advanced than I had anticipated. 1.1354 0.03511 96 83 13 0
3121 No J.Crew? 1.1354 0.03810 96 84 11 1
3122 "No Reese's Pieces?" 1.1354 0.03511 96 83 13 0
3123 As long as they have a Sbarro's, I'm good. 1.1354 0.03810 96 84 11 1
3124 Just remember, skinny jeans are so last lightyear. 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
3125 The visitors worried they looked suspicious without sacs or parcels. 1.1354 0.03511 96 83 13 0
3126 You made me travel all this way just to go to a Mall? 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
3127 Well the Wetzel's Pretzels is on the way to H&M, Carl, so we both get what we want. 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
3128 I told you we should have made a left turn at Venus! 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
3129 Don’t worry we’re 1560 years old. We’re already invisible here. 1.1354 0.03810 96 84 11 1
3130 'I swear the seven rings of Saturn were easier to navigate' 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
3131 Where did we hid our plane?! @newyorkercartoons 1.1354 0.03810 96 84 11 1
3132 We should get clothes, but first to the food court. Do you think they serve human flesh on a stick? 1.1351 0.03942 111 99 9 3
3133 Take us to your leader: Walmart 1.1351 0.03502 111 97 13 1
3134 Would you rather wait for me in the arcade? 1.1351 0.03942 111 99 9 3
3135 There's the cellphone store right there - now we can phone home! 1.1349 0.03446 126 111 13 2
3136 I prefer Amazon but the shipping is astronomical. 1.1348 0.04573 89 80 6 3
3137 Just like a man. You’ve been trying to read this map for an hour and I’ve got to go! 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
3138 Where's Lids at bro? I'm trying to get my shit tight. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
3139 Oh… no McDonalds? 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
3140 Abandoned mall: "There seems to be no sign of life" 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
3141 Sorry Dex, but it looked like Alien Solly from up there. 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
3142 Why are they showing galaxies as squares?! 1.1346 0.03363 104 90 14 0
3143 Oh no, Stan, they don’t have Orange Julius! 1.1346 0.03879 104 92 10 2
3144 Hey, a Cinnebons! Just like home! 1.1346 0.03879 104 92 10 2
3145 We’re home! 1.1346 0.03630 104 91 12 1
3146 Food Court is in Area 51! 1.1346 0.04112 104 93 8 3
3147 I thought you said they have a unisex restroom here. 1.1346 0.03630 104 91 12 1
3148 Before we go back, I want to pick up some duty-free Kahlua. 1.1346 0.03630 104 91 12 1
3149 Are we spelling "phalluses" wrong? 1.1346 0.03879 104 92 10 2
3150 This is so outdated. 1.1346 0.03363 104 90 14 0
3151 'These primitives are still shopping IRL?' 1.1346 0.03630 104 91 12 1
3152 Well, It's nothing to write home about. 1.1345 0.03140 119 103 16 0
3153 What happened to all the Victoria Secrets? 1.1345 0.03565 119 105 12 2
3154 I hope this time they have a children's section 1.1345 0.03945 119 107 8 4
3155 If we want to blend in, we'll need some clothes. 1.1343 0.03315 134 118 14 2
3156 I don’t see Planet Hollywood anywhere. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3157 Here we are light-years away from home and I still can't figure out how to navigate in a mall. 1.1340 0.04048 97 86 9 2
3158 You think there’s a cover up going on here? 1.1340 0.04048 97 86 9 2
3159 We could have ordered this on Amazon. 1.1340 0.04305 97 87 7 3
3160 It doesn’t say anything about having to wear clothes! 1.1340 0.03773 97 85 11 1
3161 Whoa! Are they showing that we’re in a miniature universe inside theirs? But they’re in a miniature universe inside ours!! 1.1340 0.04305 97 87 7 3
3162 I can find my way across the galaxy but here, I'm forever lost. 1.1340 0.03773 97 85 11 1
3163 We're going to need a probe to find the probe store. 1.1340 0.03773 97 85 11 1
3164 This doesn't look like the map they gave us at home. 1.1340 0.04305 97 87 7 3
3165 I feel pleasantly disoriented. 1.1340 0.04305 97 87 7 3
3166 I forget. Where did we park?” 1.1340 0.04048 97 86 9 2
3167 Let's go back home. I prefer Green Julius. 1.1340 0.04305 97 87 7 3
3168 Let’s go watch Earthlings court their food 1.1340 0.04048 97 86 9 2
3169 I told you the good pretzel place was in the other galaxy. 1.1340 0.04048 97 86 9 2
3170 After we go to radio shack can we stop at Cinnabon on the way out? 1.1340 0.04305 97 87 7 3
3171 Not only did I forget my credit card, I have nowhere to put it. 1.1339 0.03697 112 99 11 2
3172 We didn't get here in time before RadioShack closed. 1.1339 0.03473 112 98 13 1
3173 Well . . we've come this far to this . 1.1339 0.03473 112 98 13 1
3174 We could have used this on the ship... 1.1339 0.03697 112 99 11 2
3175 As monetarily comfortable as they have become, the people here are still remarkably unaware of where they are. 1.1339 0.03697 112 99 11 2
3176 Oh dear, the men’s clothing store is located in Area 51. 1.1339 0.04109 112 101 7 4
3177 If you lived here you’d be home by now. 1.1339 0.03473 112 98 13 1
3178 Why are the discount malls always located so far away? 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
3179 Their greatest philosopher. 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
3180 We missed the galactic turnoff 13 light years ago. 1.1333 0.04525 90 81 6 3
3181 Maybe we should check out Golf Galaxy ! 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
3182 I thought we were on Mars. 1.1333 0.03603 90 78 12 0
3183 I guess their leader is named JC Penny 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
3184 I know we used one of these anchor stores to keep the ship from flying off. 1.1333 0.03537 120 106 12 2
3185 I thought we were on the third moon of Alpha Centauri. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
3186 Oh look, it knows where we parked our saucer. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
3187 We traveled light years to get here and they don't even have an Orange Julius. 1.1333 0.03333 105 91 14 0
3188 Remember we need to bring the wine. 1.1333 0.03730 120 107 10 3
3189 Think we can exchange our credits at "Star Bucks"? 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
3190 I'm better with GPS coordinates! 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
3191 Do you see any clothing stores in there? 1.1333 0.03603 90 78 12 0
3192 Maybe all these foot coverings are religious or tribal symbols that we've missed. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
3193 These liminal spaces are so alienating 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
3194 I hope the bathrooms here are unisex. I don't think I can hold it much longer. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
3195 Trying to phone home but first, where's the Apple Store? 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
3196 I told you the Pretzel stand is on the second floor. 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
3197 I smell pretzels... 1.1333 0.03603 90 78 12 0
3198 The inferior species’ form of GPS technology? 1.1333 0.03333 105 91 14 0
3199 I swear there was an Orange Julius here the last time I visited. 1.1327 0.03666 113 100 11 2
3200 What are Men’s and Ladies Apparel? 1.1327 0.03444 113 99 13 1
3201 Directions are to 'The Limited' but our tour guide said to meet at 'The Outer Limited.' 1.1327 0.03444 113 99 13 1
3202 I prefer Banana Republic, too, but we're on a GAP budget. 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
3203 C’mon Alexio… if you can read a map of the cosmos, you can read whatever the heck this is. 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
3204 Oh dear. I don't see anything on here that says 'spaceship mechanic'. So...how do we get back home? 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
3205 Dammit, Meethorp, I said a Level 3 *Kardashev* civilization, not Kardashian, you idiot.” 1.1327 0.03444 98 85 13 0
3206 No! We have to get clothes first. The food court can wait. 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
3207 Their world is pretty small. 1.1327 0.03737 98 86 11 1
3208 I didn't come all this way to eat Sbarro. 1.1327 0.03444 98 85 13 0
3209 Where the heck is the beam me up section? 1.1327 0.04263 98 88 7 3
3210 Yes, the food court looks nice, but where is the phone booth? We were supposed to phone home by now! 1.1327 0.03737 98 86 11 1
3211 i tell you it's a diabolical trap 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
3212 We just need to find Auntie Anne before it’s too late. 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
3213 They closed Bed and Bath? Does that mean we have go to the Beyond? 1.1327 0.03737 98 86 11 1
3214 What?? They don’t have a Claire’s here? 1.1327 0.03737 98 86 11 1
3215 First the GAP for pants THEN Auntie Anne’s.. 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
3216 Nobody's staring at you. Didn't I tell you that stuff would mess with your head? But no; you have to try it just because it's legal on this planet. 1.1322 0.03701 121 108 10 3
3217 It's good to see the directory and see that we are here. No wonder we were confused. I thought we were over there. 1.1321 0.03566 106 93 12 1
3218 Ugh! That's a long way to go. 1.1321 0.04038 106 95 8 3
3219 Do you remember where we parked the saucer? 1.1321 0.03809 106 94 10 2
3220 I heard the food at Ruby Tuesday’s is out of this world. 1.1321 0.03566 106 93 12 1
3221 Remember, no eating humans at the food court. We're vegans. 1.1321 0.04038 106 95 8 3
3222 A little late for a MAP, wouldn’t you say? 1.1321 0.04038 106 95 8 3
3223 Come on Dad! I really want to play Space Invaders. 1.1321 0.03566 106 93 12 1
3224 This is the last time we beam down anywhere outside our own galaxy, OK? 1.1321 0.04038 106 95 8 3
3225 I think we're home. 1.1321 0.03566 106 93 12 1
3226 This is one confusing ship! 1.1321 0.03566 106 93 12 1
3227 Lost again, Xonk? Maybe we should abduct a GPS next time. 1.1321 0.03809 106 94 10 2
3228 I don’t see anything labeled “Our Leader.” 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
3229 Coming from our galaxy was a breeze - until this! 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
3230 Oh, finally --- clothes stores! 1.1319 0.03566 91 79 12 0
3231 With maps like this no wonder, why they haven't left there solar system. 1.1319 0.03566 91 79 12 0
3232 I sure hope we're not in Texas. 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
3233 I was expecting ticker tape. 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
3234 They may not have what we want. 1.1319 0.03566 91 79 12 0
3235 I don't think this mall has a Denny's 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
3236 No Sunglass Hut!? 1.1318 0.03546 129 115 11 3
3237 There HAS to be one hat in this that will fit me 1.1316 0.03636 114 101 11 2
3238 And I thought getting around the Universe was difficult. 1.1316 0.03843 114 102 9 3
3239 Where's the map of the universe? 1.1316 0.03843 114 102 9 3
3240 The natives are primitive or we are primitive 1.1313 0.03970 99 88 9 2
3241 All my favorite places are out of business 1.1313 0.03702 99 87 11 1
3242 We may need an ETM. 1.1313 0.03412 99 86 13 0
3243 I told you we needed to turn left at Jupiter, but NO, you insisted we turn right. 1.1313 0.03970 99 88 9 2
3244 Why does everyone keep suggesting Victoria’s Secret? 1.1313 0.03970 99 88 9 2
3245 All this way and The Gap is closed! 1.1313 0.03412 99 86 13 0
3246 Take me to your cinnamon buns 1.1313 0.03702 99 87 11 1
3247 Ooh look, there’s a Walmart! 1.1313 0.03702 99 87 11 1
3248 No, first world domination - then Cinnabon. 1.1313 0.04459 99 90 5 4
3249 Men's clothes, women's clothes, children's clothes ... They seem obsessed with clothing. 1.1313 0.04222 99 89 7 3
3250 Look for a clothing store. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
3251 I thought it was round. 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
3252 I don’t see where the leader could be! 1.1308 0.03534 107 94 12 1
3253 Sorry, Egroeg, but Sycam lost their lease eons ago. 1.1308 0.03776 107 95 10 2
3254 They must dispense justice at the Food Court. 1.1308 0.03776 107 95 10 2
3255 Find Nike as it claims to be a World Leader” 1.1308 0.03275 107 93 14 0
3256 I don't know why you brought me here. These malls never have the styles I like. 1.1308 0.03534 107 94 12 1
3257 I told you to ask for directions before you turned the wrong way at Orion's belt. 1.1308 0.03776 107 95 10 2
3258 Told ya, we should have valet. 1.1308 0.04002 107 96 8 3
3259 Says nothing about their leader. 1.1308 0.03776 107 95 10 2
3260 It was then they realised that they were the only ones with their ‘glorbies’ on full display. 1.1308 0.04002 107 96 8 3
3261 I really miss Hot Dog on a Stick. 1.1308 0.03275 107 93 14 0
3262 Last week it was two clowns looking at art. Do you think they're making fun of us? 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
3263 If we make it out of here, navigating our way to Andromeda ought to be a snap.” 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
3264 Can you find a bathroom with a heated seat? 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
3265 Maybe we should try clothes this time 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
3266 ...So, is true that Bed, Bath & Beyond is no more...? 1.1304 0.03530 92 80 12 0
3267 My parents were here a long time ago. They said check out the Gimbels or Sears if we needed anything. Don't see them listed 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
3268 Why don't we have an arrow pointing at our feet! 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
3269 Let's face it - their galaxy is a complete mess 1.1304 0.04431 92 83 6 3
3270 Can we walk or should we take the mothership? 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
3271 OK, I agree we need clothes, of course; but first find the rest rooms. 1.1304 0.04693 92 84 4 4
3272 I thought you knew where our ship was! 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
3273 I told you we won't find their leaders in Urban Outfitters. Can we try Forever 21? 1.1304 0.03530 92 80 12 0
3274 This is the perfect hideout Prevzdot371, no one will see us here!” 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
3275 Looks like Amazon beat us to the punch! 1.1304 0.03530 92 80 12 0
3276 Damn! No interplanetary gift shop... AGAIN! 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
3277 ‘Take me to your pizza, huh?’ 1.1304 0.03811 115 103 9 3
3278 The pinnacle of human civilization "cinnamon rolls" 1.1301 0.03257 123 108 14 1
3279 Why can’t you ever remember where you parked the saucer 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
3280 So, this is a diagram of what The Chief called America’s Heart. 1.1300 0.03380 100 87 13 0
3281 I feel so underdressed. 1.1300 0.03380 100 87 13 0
3282 Can’t you just take us to your leader? 1.1300 0.03380 100 87 13 0
3283 I'm just looking for a damn pair of tube socks. 1.1300 0.04181 100 90 7 3
3284 I told you we should have asked directions when we were on Mars, 1.1300 0.03667 100 88 11 1
3285 Yet still pretzel-less. 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
3286 Zzzzt. I can smell the polyester. Let's go back to Water World. 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
3287 Where's the toilets? I've been holding it in a million light years 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
3288 Interdimensional mansplaining gone wrong 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
3289 Dang! I thought you had the receipt............! 1.1300 0.03667 100 88 11 1
3290 This is just as shitty as the mall on Mars you took me to 1.1300 0.04181 100 89 7 3
3291 Yeah. I thought Cinnabon was near this entrance too. 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
3292 Where’s Spencer’s Gifts 1.1300 0.03667 100 88 11 1
3293 I think we are a little late for the Halloween party ... 1.1300 0.03380 100 87 13 0
3294 Second star on the right and straight on till morning should get us back home. 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
3295 Are we looking for "menswear" or "ladieswear"? 1.1300 0.03667 100 88 11 1
3296 I’ll scream if this doesn’t have a Cinnabons 1.1300 0.04181 100 90 7 3
3297 And that's not all; get ready to find the ship in the parking lot... 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
3298 There must be a place to get Velcro here somewhere? 1.1296 0.03742 108 96 10 2
3299 Whoever told you that the food court here is 'out of this world' should be probed. 1.1296 0.03967 108 97 8 3
3300 We aren’t lost, we know exactly where we are. Who is you ? 1.1296 0.04179 108 98 6 4
3301 First off, let's pick up some clothing so we can blend in with the crowd. 1.1296 0.03742 108 96 10 2
3302 I thought you said Rainforest CAFE! 1.1296 0.04382 108 99 4 5
3303 Where is the Leader? 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
3304 We should have deciphered 'You Are Here' technology before coming to this planet. 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
3305 Aww. The Sears closed. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
3306 This isn’t the way out of Roswell.” 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
3307 Yeah, I could eat. 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
3308 Malls are dead, we can no longer can get our choice of earthlings to abduct here 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
3309 Oh no. I’m having that dream again. 1.1293 0.03780 116 104 9 3
3310 If we forget to get our Leader a Louis Vuitton purse, we're screwed. 1.1293 0.03360 116 102 13 1
3311 Figures. I was really looking forward to rue21. 1.1293 0.03360 116 102 13 1
3312 I don't think they know about the abductions, but we should stay away from the Food Court. 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
3313 Yeah, I know, I left my pocketbook in the ship too, 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
3314 How on earth did we get here? 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
3315 What is with all the clothing stores? 1.1290 0.04385 93 84 6 3
3316 Brookstone-Brookstone-Brookstone… 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
3317 I thought you said there was a Martian Fields store in this mall! 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
3318 I wish google maps worked in here 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
3319 Wow, what a picture. Let's find someone and ask them to 'take me to your art gallery'. 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
3320 what does "you are here" mean? 1.1290 0.04385 93 84 6 3
3321 I'm on a quest to locate a spot where humanity hasn't been discarded like yesterday's leftovers. 1.1290 0.03495 93 81 12 0
3322 They say the ones like us are in "Party City". 1.1290 0.04385 93 84 6 3
3323 Yeah. But in what galaxy? 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
3324 Do you still have that Bed Bath & Beyond coupon? 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
3325 This map is woefully incomplete. 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
3326 i can’t find the american dream on this map. 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
3327 You should turn the radio down when I’m giving you directions 1.1287 0.03349 101 88 13 0
3328 I'm guessing their leader isn't anywhere near here either. 1.1287 0.03632 101 89 11 1
3329 Looks like menswear is on the fifth floor 1.1287 0.03632 101 89 11 1
3330 I am telling you, this is not Mars 1.1287 0.03896 101 90 9 2
3331 This mall isn't the same since they got rid of Arby's. 1.1287 0.03632 101 89 11 1
3332 Let's try Victoria's Secret next. Their name suggests they won't judge body type. 1.1287 0.03896 101 90 9 2
3333 Obviously they favor rectangles. Marcia Klein, Ashfield, MA 413-628-4026 1.1287 0.03896 101 90 9 2
3334 It would be easier to navigate a black hole while blindfolded than this place! 1.1287 0.03632 101 89 11 1
3335 Navigating the galaxy is a snap compared to this. 1.1287 0.03632 101 89 11 1
3336 Let’s go to Alien Outfitters! 1.1287 0.03632 101 89 11 1
3337 Jupiter was easier to find than this Springfield Cinnabon. 1.1287 0.03632 101 89 11 1
3338 Why did we remove our spacesuits with bult in rest rooms? 1.1287 0.03632 101 89 11 1
3339 You never listen to me. I told you we needed to put some clothes on before meeting their leader. 1.1287 0.03896 101 90 9 2
3340 Here, I don't hear anything of us being there 1.1287 0.03632 101 89 11 1
3341 I’ve heard Auntie Ann’s is out of this world 1.1287 0.03896 101 90 9 2
3342 Do you think Spencer's is hiring? 1.1284 0.03932 109 98 8 3
3343 Men’s Apparel…Women’s Apparel…Nothing else. Looks like we need to try another mall. 1.1284 0.03473 109 96 12 1
3344 Banana Republic is gone. 1.1284 0.03710 109 97 10 2
3345 Yes, but where is ‘there is intelligent life’? 1.1284 0.03710 109 97 10 2
3346 This place was all the rage 30 light years ago 1.1284 0.03473 109 96 12 1
3347 Please we just want to the restroom 1.1284 0.03473 109 96 12 1
3348 Hmmmmm, under L, huh no “Leader”. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
3349 Do they validate parking? btw were naked. 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
3350 My wife left me, Bill 1.1282 0.05276 78 72 2 4
3351 Lets find a backward baseball cap store so we can look normal. 1.1282 0.03749 117 105 9 3
3352 We outta be able to find something to wear. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
3353 But where's the bridge, Captain? 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
3354 According to the middle class earthlings, We have ARRIVED." 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
3355 No X to mark the spot? 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
3356 Let's get to a Banana Republic fast so we can blend in. 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
3357 Oh no. Sbarro is the final stage of civilizational decline. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
3358 Maybe if you zoom out it will show Kepler-61 b 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
3359 I knew this was wrong - the mothership is in Lot C!” 1.1277 0.03460 94 82 12 0
3360 I never learned how to read maps! 1.1277 0.03460 94 82 12 0
3361 If only it showed where we parked the saucer. 1.1277 0.04068 94 84 8 2
3362 I told you we should have turned left at the Space Needle! 1.1277 0.04068 94 84 8 2
3363 Ridiculous. An online shopping service with one-day Prime shipping could alleviate all this nonsense. 1.1277 0.03460 94 82 12 0
3364 I still don’t know where we are, this place creeps me out. 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
3365 I get that you have a coupon, but I still think this is a lot of trouble for an Orange Julius. 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
3366 Let’s stop at the food court first - after months of freeze-dried food, I am craving a fresh salad. 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
3367 Just like I said, it's a 'PRO' shop, all the probe shops are online-only. 1.1275 0.03599 102 90 11 1
3368 “ Didn’t I tell you to go before we left the ship.” 1.1275 0.03318 102 89 13 0
3369 See any all-gender options? 1.1275 0.03599 102 90 11 1
3370 Looks like Sephora is at the other end. 1.1275 0.03599 102 90 11 1
3371 If we get clothes like the Earth creature's wear, no one will recognize us. 1.1275 0.03859 102 91 9 2
3372 They closed the Disney store? 1.1275 0.03859 102 91 9 2
3373 Some galactic governments give jail time in hours at an Earthly mall. 1.1275 0.04103 102 92 7 3
3374 Can you figure out how to get to The Cheesecake Factory? 1.1275 0.04103 102 92 7 3
3375 Seriously? No Wanamakers? 1.1275 0.03859 102 91 9 2
3376 That does not help much! 1.1275 0.03599 102 90 11 1
3377 From where do you think I can get some cheesecake to go? 1.1273 0.03898 110 99 8 3
3378 We’ve navigated the universe but now I don’t where we are. 1.1273 0.03898 110 99 8 3
3379 It says that we are here. I didn’t realize that we were lost. 1.1273 0.03444 110 97 12 1
3380 Oh right. They only hide here during zombie invasions. 1.1273 0.03678 110 98 10 2
3381 I was sure our interstellar chart detected a Sonic Blast somewhere near this earthling location 1.1273 0.04106 110 100 6 4
3382 So do we pick up the Voyager Golden record at Sam Goodies or Tower Records? 1.1271 0.03519 118 105 11 2
3383 Will this outdated directional tool take us to their Leader? 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
3384 Macy's, Brooks Brothers, Eddie Bauer...just pick one. We need to get some clothes soon or it will look like we don't fit in. 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
3385 You were right. I’ll drive, you read the map. 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
3386 Macy's? Hot Topic? What kind of stars are these? 1.1264 0.03584 87 76 11 0
3387 Jamba Juice or Mrs. Field’s ?? 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
3388 Intergalactic travel was so intuitive, but I get this feeling we’ll get lost in here as soon as we step away from this map. 1.1264 0.04568 87 79 5 3
3389 Should we take the escalator or elevator? 1.1263 0.03739 95 84 10 1
3390 Just because it’s a human mall doesn’t mean there’ll be a Cinnabon! 1.1263 0.03739 95 84 10 1
3391 We need to make a splash at the Area 51 party tonight. 1.1263 0.04027 95 85 8 2
3392 Is Spirit really the only store still here? 1.1263 0.03739 95 84 10 1
3393 I told you we should have parked the ship on Florida East like we did last time. 1.1262 0.04293 103 94 5 4
3394 I think we've been pranked: Auntie Anne and Orange Julius aren't human. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
3395 We flew 86 million miles to this mall and I don't see the Apple Store on there. Where is the Apple Store? 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
3396 Oh good, I heard Spencers was out of this world. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
3397 But “here” is in the Horse Nebulae. 1.1262 0.03288 103 90 13 0
3398 You are here, so Alpha Centauri would be in that direction? 1.1262 0.04293 103 94 5 4
3399 I think the apple represents gravity. 1.1261 0.03864 111 100 8 3
3400 Remember, just tell them we’re with Kanye 1.1261 0.03414 111 98 12 1
3401 We have been on earth for 2 minutes and you've already got us lost Jared 1.1261 0.03646 111 99 10 2
3402 Here they call us alien Ken. 1.1261 0.03414 111 98 12 1
3403 32 million miles just to see 10 stores at once 1.1261 0.03646 111 99 10 2
3404 They are tracking us !! 1.1261 0.03864 111 100 8 3
3405 Apparently, these primitives still pay retail. 1.1261 0.03689 119 107 9 3
3406 Take me to your Levi's Outlet 1.1261 0.03491 119 106 11 2
3407 Oh! There is no AI branch in this mall. 1.1260 0.03352 127 113 12 2
3408 dada? 1.1250 0.03987 96 86 8 2
3409 Damn! They closed down the Macy's! 1.1250 0.03393 96 84 12 0
3410 I don't think their leader is this way. 1.1250 0.03393 96 84 12 0
3411 How do they understand 2 dimensional directions in 3 dimensions? 1.1250 0.03789 104 93 9 2
3412 I asked WHY are we here? What is the meaning of extra terrestrial life? 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
3413 It shouldn't be this hard to find their leader. 1.1250 0.04027 104 94 7 3
3414 How do you spell "clothing"? 1.1250 0.03987 96 86 8 2
3415 It was easier finding Earth than finding JC Penny from this directory map. 1.1250 0.03702 96 85 10 1
3416 Geez at least we had GPS for our trip from our galaxy. 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
3417 Is the GAP like a black hole or something? 1.1250 0.03534 104 92 11 1
3418 Aww, where's the Toys R Us? 1.1250 0.03393 96 84 12 0
3419 Everything must go?" "They know we're here!?!?" 1.1250 0.03615 112 100 10 2
3420 Mars halls!!! 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
3421 They always put the parking garage so far away. 1.1250 0.03789 104 93 9 2
3422 Look at the bright side, at least you won't have to ask for directions. 1.1250 0.03789 104 93 9 2
3423 We aimed for the Mall in Washington D.C., we're here, but somehow it doesn't seem right. 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
3424 I hear Auntie Anne’s is out of this world 1.1250 0.03702 96 85 10 1
3425 Well, it’s not Planet 5^^@@+4¥ but we found Planet Smoothie. 1.1250 0.03615 112 100 10 2
3426 I think its outrageous! Putting the insides of a creature on display like that. 1.1250 0.03987 96 86 8 2
3427 I don’t know about you, but I get lost looking for the phone repair kiosk every time we’re here. 1.1250 0.04253 96 87 6 3
3428 I know we are, the question is where are you. Barry Gerard, Glendale, CA 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
3429 Earth? 1.1250 0.03987 96 86 8 2
3430 Where is the arcade? We want to play Galaga! 1.1250 0.03660 120 108 9 3
3431 Do you see where I can get a Milky Way? 1.1250 0.03546 88 77 11 0
3432 I wonder where the flying saucers are 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
3433 " Is there a lost and found office?" 1.1250 0.04253 96 87 6 3
3434 I know where I am, but where is your leader?! 1.1250 0.03789 104 93 9 2
3435 We already know we're here, primitive earthlings! But where are the waste extraction cubicles we need?? 1.1250 0.03546 88 77 11 0
3436 And where is the IMAX Theater that we came out of now? 1.1250 0.03534 104 92 11 1
3437 Ah, at the top right is the saucer-parking lot" 1.1250 0.03546 88 77 11 0
3438 I told you The Gap was over by the food court! 1.1250 0.03702 96 85 10 1
3439 I thought you said there would be a Starbucks. 1.1250 0.03032 120 105 15 0
3440 White House Black Market? Maybe that's where their government is? 1.1250 0.04518 88 80 5 3
3441 Should we get them in gray or green? 1.1250 0.04027 104 94 7 3
3442 Why is there a picture of our home on display? This feels intrusive." 1.1250 0.04253 104 95 5 4
3443 Obviously, we're lost..... 1.1250 0.04027 104 94 7 3
3444 What a strange galaxy. There’s a planet called, Lululemon? 1.1250 0.03546 88 77 11 0
3445 I said we should have parked on the roof. 1.1250 0.03831 112 101 8 3
3446 Have you ever felt that the whole universe was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes? (Apologies to George Gobel) 1.1250 0.03534 104 92 11 1
3447 Clearly we must cover our bodies with that stuff. No one will notice we are not one of them. 1.1250 0.03702 96 85 10 1
3448 First Cinnabon, then Spencer’s 1.1250 0.03546 88 77 11 0
3449 We must have visited here before for them to write in our language on this sign, but I don't recognize the markings on the top and bottom. 1.1250 0.03702 96 85 10 1
3450 Don't they have portal or something? 1.1250 0.03987 96 86 8 2
3451 This must be a map of their home. 1.1250 0.03987 96 86 8 2
3452 No Sbarro’s? 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
3453 Every abduction is different. I told you that you should have written down the suite number. 1.1239 0.03585 113 101 10 2
3454 Let's skip the swimsuit department. I need to lose a few pounds before I even think about bikini season. 1.1239 0.04002 113 103 6 4
3455 I think I'm turned around. I thought Claire's was 1.6 billion miles in the other direction. 1.1239 0.03799 113 102 8 3
3456 I´ve lost the parking ticket; the crane will take our flying saucer. 1.1239 0.03357 113 100 12 1
3457 Starbucks is gone! Are we in the wrong galaxy again? 1.1238 0.03754 105 94 9 2
3458 Check analysis 1.1238 0.03502 105 93 11 1
3459 Do you think GAP is another name for portal? 1.1238 0.03502 105 93 11 1
3460 General Tso's chicken before we depart. 1.1238 0.03502 105 93 11 1
3461 What happened to The Gap ? 1.1238 0.03991 105 95 7 3
3462 I'm surprised interplanetary intelligence didn't know about "Halloween." 1.1238 0.03230 105 92 13 0
3463 Does this make us the leader? 1.1238 0.03502 105 93 11 1
3464 Many of those planets seem to be rectangles. 1.1238 0.03991 105 95 7 3
3465 Where is this Cinnabon we heard about? 1.1238 0.03502 105 93 11 1
3466 Alien Wear 1.1238 0.03991 105 95 7 3
3467 But where did we park? 1.1237 0.03360 97 85 12 0
3468 We're here but the sign says we're there. This appears to be the handiwork of our neighbor, Mr. Schrodinger, who wants to know whether or not we're planning to feed his cat when he's away next month. 1.1237 0.03948 97 87 8 2
3469 Allie, look! They’re not accepting cash anymore. Now they want us to pay with fruit. They’re regressing faster than we anticipated. 1.1237 0.03666 97 86 10 1
3470 There's no one to take us to their leader. 1.1237 0.03666 97 86 10 1
3471 I feel so naked here 1.1237 0.03948 97 87 8 2
3472 We should be able to find the part in the Apple Store. 1.1237 0.03360 97 85 12 0
3473 I do hope you remember where we parked? 1.1237 0.03948 97 87 8 2
3474 I told you space-time was a giant circle. 1.1237 0.03666 97 86 10 1
3475 Well at least Brandy Melville was made for our body type. 1.1236 0.04469 89 81 5 3
3476 I'm telling you, we'll get back to the Andromeda Galaxy faster if we exit through the food court. Bloomingdale's takes us too far out of the way. 1.1236 0.03508 89 78 11 0
3477 Maybe we should start with intimate apparel. 1.1236 0.03508 89 78 11 0
3478 Every map keeps telling us: “You are Here”. So, where are we? Really? 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
3479 hmm, I guess our invisibility shields are rendered useless. 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
3480 Frustrated. Not a single payphone." 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
3481 Not a clue. 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
3482 Logic dictates that the cinnamon roll store should be in the food court. 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
3483 If we can just buy some clothes people won't stare at us. 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
3484 There’s Victoria’s Secret, just down to the left. 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
3485 Hmmm, they don’t seem to have a Your Leader here, let’s try the next planet 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
3486 No Hot Topic? 1.1236 0.03508 89 78 11 0
3487 Let’s start by buying some clothes, Then we should get something to eat. 1.1236 0.04469 89 81 5 3
3488 Quick - where's the Lingerie department? 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
3489 Can you figure out how to take it to the Leader? 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
3490 Take us to your IKEA. 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
3491 Well, at least it’s got Spirit Halloween still. 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
3492 Where are the protestors? 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
3493 More complicated than flying a spaceship! 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3494 The last remnant of what was nice a flourishing society, brick and mortar retail 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
3495 Well Urpi, I don't think our spacecraft will fit. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3496 Bob now that we've reached the Area 51 Mall can we please check out the sale at the Aeropostale 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
3497 This doesn't LOOK like Sulnija'ak VII! 1.1228 0.03767 114 103 8 3
3498 Xoxo, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Centaurus anymore. 1.1226 0.03471 106 94 11 1
3499 Yeah, but how in hell do you get to the Gap? 1.1226 0.03201 106 93 13 0
3500 I told you we should have made a left turn at Betelgeuse. 1.1226 0.03955 106 96 7 3
3501 So, no Wetzel's Pretzels? 1.1226 0.03720 106 95 9 2
3502 First let’s find some nice casual wear. 1.1226 0.03201 106 93 13 0
3503 No 4th dimension reference point, humanity is lost. 1.1226 0.03720 106 95 9 2
3504 This doesn't help[ help us remember where we parked the saucer? 1.1226 0.03471 106 94 11 1
3505 Let’s see where we can get some space suits. 1.1226 0.03201 106 93 13 0
3506 ‘urgh, earthling maps are so primitive’ 1.1226 0.03720 106 95 9 2
3507 I’m told we can hide at Spencer’s. 1.1226 0.03471 106 94 11 1
3508 We are where? And maybe time to be somewhere else! 1.1224 0.03631 98 87 10 1
3509 Remember, drape and shape. 1.1224 0.03910 98 88 8 2
3510 This makes our multidimensional galaxy map look like child’s play. 1.1224 0.03910 98 88 8 2
3511 I get that we need to get home and the GPS is broken, but I just don’t think this is helpful. 1.1224 0.03631 98 87 10 1
3512 Do you think it's directions to their leader? 1.1224 0.03631 98 87 10 1
3513 Leader... leader... nope, can't see it anywhere 1.1224 0.04415 98 90 4 4
3514 Do you think we should use the women's restroom or the men's? 1.1224 0.03910 98 88 8 2
3515 We may have taken a left when we should have taken a right at the last fork in the sky! 1.1224 0.03328 98 86 12 0
3516 I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore. 1.1224 0.03328 98 86 12 0
3517 Do you think we could pass as earthlings if we bought some clothes? 1.1224 0.03631 98 87 10 1
3518 The restrooms must be in another galaxy. 1.1224 0.04170 98 89 6 3
3519 Beam us up, Scotty. We're in a dangerous place. 1.1224 0.04170 98 89 6 3
3520 I have a feeling we’re not in Canis Major anymore... 1.1224 0.03631 98 87 10 1
3521 Lost in the mall 1.1224 0.03910 98 88 8 2
3522 So everyone on this planet eats at a 'food court'? 1.1224 0.03328 98 86 12 0
3523 But where’s their leader? 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
3524 I told you to use the blaat before we left! 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
3525 Hey, I understand there’s a good cinema near here showing life on earth! 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
3526 I guess this ‘Macy’ must be their leader. 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
3527 What in the world has happened to retail? 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
3528 Something here 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
3529 You were right! They really are stupid when they don't know where they are. 1.1222 0.04421 90 82 5 3
3530 Let's face it Margaret, when the salesperson said our look was out of this world I don't think she meant it as a compliment. 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
3531 We searched the universe for your Rogain, humor me and search the MALL for my Jamba Juice. 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
3532 Our research showed that “The Mall” was the location of their leadership. Where are they? 1.1222 0.04421 90 82 5 3
3533 ROSS DRESS FOR LESS , SOUNDS GOOD 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
3534 So, should we go straight or take an inalienable rigth? 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
3535 You men never ask for directions. Now it will take light years to get home. 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
3536 Do you think the bathrooms are gender neutral? 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
3537 Here is where humans alienate themselves the most 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
3538 Damn - I though we were at the airport. 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
3539 Why is this harder to figure out than achieving intergalactic travel? 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
3540 So how do we beam up to Macy’s? 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
3541 For years now, I’ve felt weirdly alienated when I’m in a mall. 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
3542 Please tell me this is close to Orange Julius! 1.1217 0.03526 115 103 10 2
3543 Does this tell us how to get home? 1.1217 0.03736 115 104 8 3
3544 Dammit Ed! We are supposed to be on Earth, not some place called ‘Here’! 1.1217 0.03736 115 104 8 3
3545 More evidence for a total lack of AI 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
3546 I'm afraid we'll need to trilocate. 1.1216 0.02861 148 131 16 1
3547 It looks just like the x-ray of my chest, with the heart and freebus enlarged and that plaid square encroaching on my cranistat. 1.1215 0.03440 107 95 11 1
3548 Do you see where the leader is located? 1.1215 0.03687 107 96 9 2
3549 Navigating the galaxies was easy compared to this! 1.1215 0.03173 107 94 13 0
3550 Momma needs a Beyonce hat and a pound of cilantro. Should we try Macy's? 1.1215 0.03173 107 94 13 0
3551 Fake news 1.1215 0.03440 107 95 11 1
3552 Well at least we know where in the galaxy we are. 1.1212 0.03872 99 89 8 2
3553 Can you zoom it out 8 or 10 light years? That might help. 1.1212 0.03596 99 88 10 1
3554 Oh, clothes are right behind us. Then maybe the food court. I haven’t eaten in four million light years. 1.1212 0.03596 99 88 10 1
3555 I believe they closed Party City! 1.1212 0.03297 99 87 12 0
3556 wrong place, wrong time. 1.1212 0.03297 99 87 12 0
3557 Remember when we were told ‘expect the unexpected’? We’re there. 1.1212 0.04130 99 90 6 3
3558 Now you don't ask me to goto the ladies floor 1st 1.1212 0.03596 99 88 10 1
3559 This place is out of this world 1.1212 0.03872 99 89 8 2
3560 I TOLD you to turn left at Neptune. 1.1212 0.03596 99 88 10 1
3561 And we heard this was laid out for Martians. 1.1212 0.03596 99 88 10 1
3562 Great! I Thought So. Let's Go Look For Now. 1.1212 0.03872 99 89 8 2
3563 Zyxxx, “clothing”? XXRRR*#! 1.1212 0.03872 99 89 8 2
3564 And here’s the exhibit of Earth circa 1995 1.1212 0.03596 99 88 10 1
3565 I think we're supposed to look for a 51. 1.1209 0.04086 91 82 7 2
3566 Even higher life forms can’t navigate the map. 1.1209 0.04086 91 82 7 2
3567 We came all the way here and they don’t even have a Yankee Candle? 1.1209 0.03436 91 80 11 0
3568 I thought this whole planet was a food court? 1.1209 0.04086 91 82 7 2
3569 If it does not talk, burn it. 1.1209 0.03436 91 80 11 0
3570 I thought they’re supposed to take us to their leader” 1.1209 0.03436 91 80 11 0
3571 I didn't know they had a lower body temperature. 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
3572 Look again, I am dying for a Sonic Burger. 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
3573 So....where is the restroom? 1.1207 0.03497 116 104 10 2
3574 Let’s stop by Cinnabon before we go clothes shopping. 1.1207 0.03275 116 103 12 1
3575 I told you we should have made a right at Mercury........ 1.1207 0.03038 116 102 14 0
3576 You're right, it has all the same qualities as our Black Holes 1.1207 0.03038 116 102 14 0
3577 We parked at the wrong planet again. 😂 1.1207 0.03275 116 103 12 1
3578 80,000 light years to get here, and there's no Orange Julius. 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
3579 But we're not there, we're here. 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
3580 What is evening attire? 1.1205 0.04336 83 75 6 2
3581 since I started the Keto diet I can't find clothes small enough 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
3582 Their 'Leader' has to be somewhere here! 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
3583 I told you Bloomingdales is on the other side of the galaxy. 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
3584 How can we take the maze map with ourselves? 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
3585 I told you to take a left at Jupiter! 1.1204 0.03146 108 95 13 0
3586 Do those circles mean anything?” “Eh” 1.1200 0.03562 100 89 10 1
3587 I don't see the White House at all. 1.1200 0.03835 100 90 8 2
3588 I hope these stores accept Mars-tercard. 1.1200 0.04090 100 91 6 3
3589 I'm telling you, Hot Topic used to be right over there. 1.1200 0.03562 100 89 10 1
3590 This whole capitalism thing… It’s all alien to me. 1.1200 0.04090 100 91 6 3
3591 Good grief, they have closed our favorite store, "The Force" 1.1200 0.03835 100 90 8 2
3592 A 600 IQ and you didn’t know Cinnabon was trash? 1.1200 0.03835 100 90 8 2
3593 Hmm, it doesn't say 'leader' anywhere. 1.1200 0.03562 100 89 10 1
3594 Isn't there something vaguely familiar about Roswell Town Center? 1.1200 0.04090 100 91 6 3
3595 So, if you are here, where I’m I? 1.1200 0.04330 100 92 4 4
3596 Look, we just need to find the pizza place that's "Outta this world!" 1.1200 0.03835 100 90 8 2
3597 Are we here? Only the Shadow knows! 1.1200 0.03562 100 89 10 1
3598 I can't believe they closed Glamour Shots. 1.1200 0.03266 100 88 12 0
3599 The interdimentions of this place are a bit confusing. 1.1200 0.03562 100 89 10 1
3600 I’ve heard The Cheesecake Factory is out of this world 1.1200 0.03562 100 89 10 1
3601 I say, some clothing stores before hitting up the food court... 1.1196 0.03736 92 82 9 1
3602 Call home? 1.1196 0.03401 92 81 11 0
3603 Why didn't you tell me to park closer to Gap. 1.1196 0.03401 92 81 11 0
3604 How did they get hold of this image of our village back home? 1.1196 0.03401 92 81 11 0
3605 It was much easier the last time we were here in Roswell. They didn't even have a mall. 1.1196 0.03401 92 81 11 0
3606 So where is their leader? 1.1196 0.03401 92 81 11 0
3607 Stay positive and they won’t touch us. 1.1196 0.04043 92 83 7 2
3608 Where's Forever 2001? 1.1196 0.03401 92 81 11 0
3609 Is it possible to redeem by Star bucks at this location? 1.1196 0.03401 92 81 11 0
3610 This has to be the farthest anyone's ever traveled for an Orange Julius. 1.1193 0.03623 109 98 9 2
3611 But they broadcast that lenses could be ready in one terrestrial hour. 1.1193 0.03380 109 97 11 1
3612 I told you we should have taken that left at the 4th planet after the sun. 1.1193 0.03119 109 96 13 0
3613 J. Crew, Sephora, and the Food Court in that order! 1.1193 0.03380 109 97 11 1
3614 I'd rather be working undercover. 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
3615 Just find a clothing store 1.1190 0.04286 84 76 6 2
3616 Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
3617 Maybe we should buy some clothes, so we don’t look so obviously “alien”. 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
3618 Wow! They let you start at first base here. 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
3619 Who knew the Final Frontier was for rent? 1.1188 0.04051 101 92 6 3
3620 Silly humans "you are here" means nothing to multidimensional beings . 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
3621 For once in your life, why can't you just ask for directions? 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
3622 They’ve got a Starbucks! Let’s grab a cuppa.” 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
3623 Where did we park the saucer? 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
3624 In and out should get us back. 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
3625 Is their leader J C Penney or Macy? 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
3626 Why are we naked? 1.1183 0.03698 93 83 9 1
3627 I refuse to go to the Cinnabon with you again. I feel that every time we go there, people just stare at us because you can't stop eating them. 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
3628 The Macys is all the way on the other side. Let’s just probe in the HomeGoods . 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
3629 You said we'd land at the Food Court. 1.1183 0.03367 93 82 11 0
3630 I feel like that last earthling we abducted. Giddy, powerless and mildly turned on. 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
3631 First stop...Banana Republic? 1.1183 0.03698 93 83 9 1
3632 Let’s meet up at the food court in two hours 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
3633 We should call the mothership collect, but when it asks for a name, we say 'beam us up by Nordstroms' super fast 1.1183 0.03698 93 83 9 1
3634 Dare I ask where you put your Credit Card? 1.1182 0.03092 110 97 13 0
3635 They must think the entire universe revolves around the mall! 1.1182 0.03351 110 98 11 1
3636 Humans stock Alienware at the computer store. 1.1182 0.03591 110 99 9 2
3637 But just how on Earth did this omniscient "Mall Director Y" know we would be here? Right *here*? And what about all those Elders walking in circles around here? If this is turns out to be the Center of the Universe, well, I'm disappointed. 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
3638 Good thing we dressed appropriately. 1.1176 0.03496 102 91 10 1
3639 I don't think any of them has either our size. 1.1176 0.03496 102 91 10 1
3640 Do you see the clothing store? 1.1176 0.03206 102 90 12 0
3641 This is the wrong shopping complex. I knew we should have taken that left wormhole at Andromeda. 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
3642 This humanoid GPS technology may be crude, but it is surprisingly accurate. 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
3643 We’ve come a hundred million light years, and now Radio Shack is nowhere to be found! 1.1176 0.04013 102 93 6 3
3644 I knew we were in the wrong place. 1.1176 0.03496 102 91 10 1
3645 Here must mean not elsewhere." 1.1176 0.03763 102 92 8 2
3646 No teleportation. We are suburbanites now. 1.1176 0.03206 102 90 12 0
3647 You're right. There is not a single probe store in the entire mall. 1.1176 0.03206 102 90 12 0
3648 Hmm, I don’t see Your Leader anywhere 1.1176 0.03496 102 91 10 1
3649 So where the Christ is the damn bathroom? 1.1176 0.03763 102 92 8 2
3650 Okay so I think we need to definitely hit up Hot Topic and Spencer’s, and I wanna grab a hot dog on a stick before head back home. 1.1176 0.03763 102 92 8 2
3651 See if “Area 51” is playing at that theatre … 1.1176 0.03763 102 92 8 2
3652 We are here for Mall Directory's Art Show but I only see the one painting. 1.1176 0.03763 102 92 8 2
3653 Tell me, how did you find this place?" "Turned left at the Gap. 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
3654 I thought you said that Earth was a blue sphere. 1.1171 0.03322 111 99 11 1
3655 you can make it through the crab nebula but you can't find a clothing store? 1.1171 0.03783 111 101 7 3
3656 How do they know we are here? They can’t even take a picture of us without it getting blurry! 1.1171 0.03322 111 99 11 1
3657 They know we've been going around in circles. 1.1170 0.03961 94 85 7 2
3658 20 Million Light Years off track--Will you now ask for directions???? 1.1170 0.03333 94 83 11 0
3659 It looks like an ancient spaceoglyphic map 1.1170 0.03961 94 85 7 2
3660 'Long trip. So where's the rest room?" 1.1170 0.03660 94 84 9 1
3661 ET phone home. 1.1170 0.03961 94 85 7 2
3662 I promised her a Tortured Poets Department hoodie before we blast off. 1.1170 0.03333 94 83 11 0
3663 Don’t worry, intel operatives said that single store falls into the dining category. I just wouldn’t bother with a place that primarily offers men on their menu. 1.1170 0.03660 94 84 9 1
3664 This is more involved than it was getting here 1.1170 0.03660 94 84 9 1
3665 First stop, Starbucks. Then clothes. 1.1170 0.03660 94 84 9 1
3666 Ever since Westfield UTC's big remodel, I haven't been able to find a thing. 1.1170 0.03660 94 84 9 1
3667 Blorp bleep bloop Auntie Anne’s! 1.1170 0.03660 94 84 9 1
3668 Zorg said everything we'll need is at "Spencers." 1.1170 0.03660 94 84 9 1
3669 This place has me feeling spaced out 1.1170 0.03961 94 85 7 2
3670 Where is the free lotion? 1.1170 0.03961 94 85 7 2
3671 Yes, but, where is your leader? 1.1167 0.03385 120 108 10 2
3672 Does our research HAVE to include the food court? 1.1165 0.03463 103 92 10 1
3673 Our last pit stop for 10 lightyears, and there’s not even a Panda Express. 1.1165 0.03728 103 93 8 2
3674 What is the purpose of all these clothing stores? 1.1165 0.03728 103 93 8 2
3675 Tell homeworld we have landed on the Planet Hollywood. 1.1165 0.03463 103 92 10 1
3676 According to this, we are at a location called "the 90s". 1.1165 0.03463 103 92 10 1
3677 Sure, but we’re not talkin’ INTELLIGENT intelligent life form 1.1165 0.03177 103 91 12 0
3678 Take me to Forever 22222221 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
3679 According to the map, we should descend to ground level at area 51. 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
3680 Earth. Location, location, location.” 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
3681 It all seems rather alien to me. 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
3682 Wait, no Hot Topic?! 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
3683 I think we were supposed to make a left turn after the Sun, not after PacSun! @pacsun 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
3684 I hear their fashions are out of this world. 1.1161 0.03294 112 100 11 1
3685 They only take plastic, apparently. 1.1161 0.03751 112 102 7 3
3686 Surely this 'Smoothie King' is the leader for whom we've been searching. 1.1158 0.03624 95 85 9 1
3687 Could it be that they have superseded us in language? 1.1158 0.03921 95 86 7 2
3688 A hundred million miles through deep, dark space, and now you can't find a sunglass kiosk? 1.1158 0.03921 95 86 7 2
3689 No food court here either? 1.1158 0.03300 95 84 11 0
3690 We were warned about this but also not to ask help from anyone in New York 1.1158 0.03624 95 85 9 1
3691 Too bad the universe map isn't as detailed, we could be at the beach. 1.1158 0.03624 95 85 9 1
3692 If I was from here, I would be able to find the bathroom. 1.1158 0.03624 95 85 9 1
3693 I told you the Inter Golactary Mall is nicer.......I feel like an alien in this place! Alice L, Haber 500 Pearson Circle Apt. 3015 Frederick, MD 21702 alicehaber@aol.com 1.1158 0.03921 95 86 7 2
3694 I think they saw us coming... 1.1158 0.03624 95 85 9 1
3695 I told you to make a left at Venus. 1.1157 0.03147 121 108 12 1
3696 Maybe we should hit the clothing stores first 1.1154 0.03148 104 92 12 0
3697 This isn't going to help find the keys you lost. 1.1154 0.03432 104 93 10 1
3698 Take me to your Lerner’s. 1.1154 0.03432 104 93 10 1
3699 Ok, first we hit Sephora, then Sbarro and Cinnabon, and THEN alien abduction. 1.1154 0.03432 104 93 10 1
3700 These people have no idea of their place in the universe. 1.1154 0.03694 104 94 8 2
3701 Please explain again how Woolworths became Zara. 1.1154 0.03938 104 95 6 3
3702 Good thing we don't have one of these. 1.1154 0.03432 104 93 10 1
3703 No Nordstrom rack? 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
3704 I thought you said we could hide here and no one would find us 1.1154 0.03694 104 94 8 2
3705 Of all the malls in all the universe, Darth Vader has to walk into this one? 1.1150 0.03926 113 104 5 4
3706 Let's get the free sampled first then circle back. 1.1150 0.03015 113 100 13 0
3707 We really have to replace our GPS. 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
3708 They need a map to indulge? 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
3709 So, where are you storing your shopping money? 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
3710 Where can we get some spice from Arrakis? 1.1149 0.04144 87 79 6 2
3711 Can you find the Mars bar? 1.1149 0.04455 87 80 4 3
3712 I can't find their leader on this either. 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
3713 They seem to be ashamed of their bodies 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
3714 Let's probe the retail outlets instead! The quality was out of this world, but the prices have skyrocketed!" Robert Jamieson Montreal, Quebe 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
3715 Let's hope they don't take us for tourists. 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
3716 Where do you see yourself in 0,000031257 light years? 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
3717 They have not advanced in the past million years. 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
3718 There is no Radio Shack or Gap stores anymore ? 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
3719 Ooooh! Many vacancies. Perfect place to set up our new headquarters! 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
3720 We have to go back. I forgot the Starbucks gift card. 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
3721 Bed, Bath & Beyond closed -- where now to get our bed and bath? 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
3722 The last time we were here, there WAS an Orange Julius 1.1149 0.04144 87 79 6 2
3723 We come in two pieces 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
3724 How can a mall economy possibly support THREE candy stores?! 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
3725 You're sure the restrooms are alien access? 1.1148 0.03123 122 109 12 1
3726 Wait - are there TWO Auntie Anne’s? 1.1146 0.03881 96 87 7 2
3727 We may not be weather balloons, but I caught a case of swamp gas from the food court. 1.1146 0.03881 96 87 7 2
3728 They really ought to write a guide to THIS galaxy... 1.1146 0.03588 96 86 9 1
3729 The radio transmissions from 40 light years ago claim Spencer Gifts is out of this world 1.1146 0.03268 96 85 11 0
3730 How did earthlings get such hyper-accurate maps? 1.1146 0.03588 96 86 9 1
3731 I have checked everywhere here - none of them will accept Marspay, cash or inter-galaxy credit cards! 1.1146 0.04154 96 88 5 3
3732 Getting this far was easy, but I can't follow this to their leader. 1.1146 0.03268 96 85 11 0
3733 Do you think they do free shipping?https://www.google.com/search?q=Kelly+O’Donnell&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-us&client=safari 1.1146 0.04154 96 88 5 3
3734 Did you leave your wallet in spaceship? 1.1146 0.03588 96 86 9 1
3735 According to one of the many ridiculous rules of human communication, shouldn’t “Aliens ‘R’ Us” be between “Abercrombie” and “American Eagle?!” 👽🤔🤷‍♂️ 1.1146 0.03881 96 87 7 2
3736 Interesting map of the universe. Earthlings don’t seem to excel at map making do they? 1.1146 0.03588 96 86 9 1
3737 Let's go to Hot Topic. At least there we'll blend in. 1.1143 0.03120 105 93 12 0
3738 I think it says, 'Aliens not allowed.' 1.1143 0.03120 105 93 12 0
3739 That sunglass store is just around that far corner--with cool sunglasses, we'll fit right in. 1.1143 0.03401 105 94 10 1
3740 Honestly, we travel across the universe and we can’t read this directory to find the Apple Store? 1.1140 0.03239 114 102 11 1
3741 "First question, what is a Mall?" 1.1140 0.03471 114 103 9 2
3742 We're going to need our Navigation System. 1.1139 0.04408 79 72 5 2
3743 So it's Gap and then the food court? 1.1138 0.03307 123 111 10 2
3744 Do you remember where we parked the craft? 1.1136 0.04099 88 80 6 2
3745 It seems they're created a whole universe inside their own planet. 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
3746 How far to the "men's clothing" department? 1.1136 0.03340 132 120 9 3
3747 I don’t think this will help us find Proxima Centauri. 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
3748 I told you we shouldn’t have eaten that apple. 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
3749 This place of few inhabitants could be our shelter. 1.1134 0.03553 97 87 9 1
3750 Where's Nordstrom? 1.1134 0.03553 97 87 9 1
3751 They clearly have no leader… 1.1134 0.04113 97 89 5 3
3752 I told you they wouldn’t have a saucer parts store. 1.1134 0.03843 97 88 7 2
3753 Where is the spaceship parts store? 1.1134 0.03843 97 88 7 2
3754 Where's the bathroom? 1.1134 0.03843 97 88 7 2
3755 We come in Anthropologies 1.1134 0.03843 97 88 7 2
3756 Yes, but is it art? 1.1134 0.03843 97 88 7 2
3757 Remember when you got us lost in Andromeda? 1.1134 0.03236 97 86 11 0
3758 My youngest child thought this was a touch screen. 1.1134 0.03843 97 88 7 2
3759 Unfortunately, our clothing store is out of this world. 1.1132 0.03627 106 96 8 2
3760 "We're not allowed to work remotely anymore, so I need a new outfit." 1.1132 0.03092 106 94 12 0
3761 Remarkable! You mean the Great Galactic Empire, under Emperor Trump, started here? 1.1132 0.03370 106 95 10 1
3762 Let’s just find the food court and call it a day. 1.1132 0.03370 106 95 10 1
3763 I told you we should have made a left turn at Antares. 1.1132 0.03627 106 96 8 2
3764 Humans aren't that deep." 1.1132 0.03092 106 94 12 0
3765 Do you see a Starbucks? 1.1132 0.03092 106 94 12 0
3766 I can't believe that we travelled over 40 million miles with no problems to reach this planet, but we can't find a clothing store. 1.1132 0.03627 106 96 8 2
3767 Tucking our wieners between our legs doesn’t help, were still naked in the mall. Please let this be a dream 1.1132 0.03370 106 95 10 1
3768 Is there a dress shop? Maybe we should get some clothes so we blend in better. . . 1.1132 0.03867 106 97 6 3
3769 Does it tell us where to get underwear? 1.1130 0.02966 115 102 13 0
3770 The only movie is “The Eras Tour” which we’ve seen a thousand times 1.1130 0.02966 115 102 13 0
3771 A billion miles through the galaxies to get us here, and you can’t find Hobby-Lobby? 1.1129 0.03281 124 112 10 2
3772 The invasion has already begun. The CEO of Amazon is from our homeworld, and his company has been taking over every other business like this one. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
3773 Twelve Cinnabons later!" 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
3774 I'm stumped too. I told you we should bring our kids with us! 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
3775 'it's the third time that someone has said they loved me on the View' 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
3776 This has really changed since E.T.'s time 1.1125 0.04355 80 73 5 2
3777 Take me to your giant pretzel. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
3778 Ghostly. I'm not sure 'here' is here." 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
3779 Aw, Wetzel's Pretzels closed! 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
3780 I expected to see more Earth creatures. 1.1124 0.04055 89 81 6 2
3781 I already know how to find the food court. Which galaxy are we in? 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
3782 Uh-oh, this doesn't look like Uranus! 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
3783 Hmm. No Hydrogen Mart here, either. 1.1124 0.04055 89 81 6 2
3784 15,000 light years and you need directions to Cinnabon? 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
3785 So many of my old favorites have left this world. 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
3786 Honestly, I just need to find a bathroom. That Cinnabon is giving me the shits. 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
3787 They don’t have any alien smalls here either ! 1.1122 0.03518 98 88 9 1
3788 How do you change the maps view? 1.1122 0.03518 98 88 9 1
3789 Isn't the whole place really a food court? 1.1122 0.03518 98 88 9 1
3790 It's like going back ten million years on planet Zura. 1.1122 0.03518 98 88 9 1
3791 What is our next Kors of action….can we change the Chanel? Should I just walk through an open Dior. I’m in Klein to just Choo s anything. So I told him… Hiliger it out. 1.1122 0.03518 98 88 9 1
3792 What is the deal with Earth? It's easier to find a trans-Neptunian object than a restroom. 1.1122 0.03805 98 89 7 2
3793 Fine—I misspelled our destination, but we might as well see what a ‘PacSun’ is. 1.1122 0.03805 98 89 7 2
3794 Where is the line to see Santa Claus? Maybe he can give us directions to Neptune." 1.1122 0.03518 98 88 9 1
3795 All I understand is the arrow. Good, they haven't invented gunpowder yet! 1.1122 0.03518 98 88 9 1
3796 This place is huge -- their leader has to be here. 1.1122 0.03805 98 89 7 2
3797 WE ARE TWO ALIENS LOST IN A MALL 1.1122 0.03518 98 88 9 1
3798 Maybe the Mars Bar is in the outlot? 1.1122 0.04072 98 90 5 3
3799 Nope, can’t see Your Leader on there anywhere- we’ll have to ask for help. 1.1122 0.03518 98 88 9 1
3800 See, I told you this creature is very litigious, they even have a Food Court 1.1122 0.03805 98 89 7 2
3801 Aren't we supposed to follow the Amazon Prime Directive? 1.1122 0.04072 98 90 5 3
3802 I can find my way across a galaxy, but this mall is just too confusing. 1.1121 0.03065 107 95 12 0
3803 We flew all those light years, and Orange Julius is gone? 1.1121 0.03340 107 96 10 1
3804 This is embarrassing. We travelled through five galaxies to get here, but we can’t find Hot Topic. 1.1121 0.03065 107 95 12 0
3805 Now THIS is the place to do an abduction! 1.1121 0.03832 107 98 6 3
3806 I want to find Target. 1.1121 0.03413 116 105 9 2
3807 I told you, we should turn right on Alpha Centauri. 1.1121 0.02942 116 103 13 0
3808 That must be where we change our star bucks into dollars 1.1121 0.03186 116 104 11 1
3809 The sale at The Gap is out of this world. 1.1120 0.03448 125 114 8 3
3810 Look, let's just steal the Earthlings' Dippin' Dots technology and get the hell out of here. 1.1111 0.03768 99 90 7 2
3811 What do you mean I don’t have the abbs to get a job at Abercrombie? 1.1111 0.03331 90 80 10 0
3812 Help Wanted?.....Don't know about you but I am tired of dealing with those old pyramid schemes, 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
3813 No orange julius? Maybe we're on the wrong planet. 1.1111 0.03331 90 80 10 0
3814 That reminds me, I forgot to remove the probe. 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
3815 Hmm. No leader listed. Might have to ask someone. 1.1111 0.03311 108 97 10 1
3816 Look For The Golden Arches... 1.1111 0.03331 90 80 10 0
3817 We're not lost. I'm just probing. 1.1111 0.03484 99 89 9 1
3818 Okay but I don't see a phone booth anywhere. 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
3819 It was so hard to find parking for the spaceship that I can't remember which door we came in. 1.1111 0.03038 108 96 12 0
3820 Yeah,we need new suits, but we spent a fortune on fuel just to get here for the two for one sale at Nordstroms 1.1111 0.03484 99 89 9 1
3821 I guess they don't have Amazon on this planet. 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
3822 This must be one of their mouse mazes. 1.1111 0.03311 108 97 10 1
3823 Fine, you're right, we ARE lost. But now we have to find a phone... 1.1111 0.03484 99 89 9 1
3824 How did they get the plans to our spaceship? 1.1111 0.03484 99 89 9 1
3825 Not very existential if them! Eh, Gort? 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
3826 This is a primitive brick and mortar civilization. 1.1111 0.03311 108 97 10 1
3827 Why don't we look up the leader? 1.1111 0.03175 99 88 11 0
3828 I swear the last time we visited Earth there was a Chess King here. 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
3829 But nobody wears Prada anymore. 1.1111 0.03484 99 89 9 1
3830 I don’t see Victoria’s Secret anywhere! 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
3831 I know we came a long way but what ‘til you experience Crabtree and Evelyn. 1.1111 0.03175 99 88 11 0
3832 Jeez, why are mall directories so damn alienating 1.1111 0.03385 117 106 9 2
3833 I miss the days when Everyone was here. 1.1102 0.03135 118 106 11 1
3834 But which bathroom can we use? 1.1102 0.03135 118 106 11 1
3835 I thought you said they had Starbucks here. 1.1101 0.03282 109 98 10 1
3836 I've seen your leaders. Take me to Panda Express instead." 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
3837 I could swear we parked on Neptune 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
3838 Does anywhere here sell pants? 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
3839 We’ll have to get some clothes so we won’t be recognized! 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
3840 I'd rather go with the telepathic touch. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
3841 What is the purpose of clothes? 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
3842 Do you think we can find a place with decent coffee? 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
3843 Let's find the Reese's Pieces store. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
3844 I told you we should have turned left when we passed Arctirus. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
3845 I told you to put an AirTag on your suitcase 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
3846 I preferred when *they* took us to their leader 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
3847 Oops! My bad, we should've zigzagged at the last star cluster. This galaxy's mall doesn't even have a decent asteroid ice cream stand! 1.1100 0.03732 100 91 7 2
3848 Does the Cheesecake Factory still make you wear pants...? 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
3849 I flew us 4.5 light-years to "earth" and you can't even locate the bathroom. 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
3850 Fools! 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
3851 Whatever happened to The Sharper Image? 1.1099 0.03297 91 81 10 0
3852 I think this is their leader. 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
3853 This is the most cursed of all their temples. I am suddenly in need of soft wrapped dough and a citrus blended drink. 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
3854 I hear the GAP has a sale on cargo shorts and Ts. 1.1099 0.03297 91 81 10 0
3855 You had to get a Cinnabon! 1.1099 0.03969 91 82 6 2
3856 This is how that Columbus guy got lost 1.1099 0.03969 91 83 6 2
3857 This is all the proof they’ll need to write off “intelligent life” or “benevolence” on this planet. 1.1099 0.04265 91 84 4 3
3858 The food court sucks, they way over-spend on clothes and shoes, and these’s no place to get an iPhone 2,763,522! 1.1098 0.04253 82 75 5 2
3859 We've survived 30 days. Now we just navigate to the main entrance and the ship will be waiting to extract us. 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
3860 I’ll read it. Thanks to you, our last trip we missed Studio 54 and wound up in Area 51. 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
3861 I want to submit a job application at Abercrombie and Fitch 1.1098 0.04253 82 75 5 2
3862 I left the water running. 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
3863 Where is this Auntie Anne person these people speak of?” @auntieannespretzel 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
3864 Well, I can at least see the way to their liters. 1.1091 0.03253 110 99 10 1
3865 Guess they figured how to coalesce alternate dimensions before we did 1.1091 0.03253 110 99 10 1
3866 I told you to ask for directions. 1.1089 0.03697 101 92 7 2
3867 Finally, we can buy clothes dear so that no one can photograph us without clothes. 1.1089 0.03115 101 90 11 0
3868 Look Orson, they have Starbucks here on earth, just like on our planet! 1.1089 0.03418 101 91 9 1
3869 Quit freaking out! The travel agent said we would be fine, just buy some NFL merch and we'll be fine. 1.1089 0.03418 101 91 9 1
3870 Where in this world is that food court with teriyaki chicken 1.1089 0.03418 101 91 9 1
3871 ‘Where is the ‘add to basket’ button? 1.1089 0.03697 101 92 7 2
3872 Don't criticize! If our navigation system was better we wouldn't be in this garbage planet in the first place. 1.1089 0.03418 101 91 9 1
3873 Damn you to hell Scotty, you've sent us down again with no clothes on. 1.1089 0.03115 101 90 11 0
3874 Travel across several galaxies...no problem. But try to find the washrooms in this damn place...impossible. 1.1089 0.03418 101 91 9 1
3875 This is helpful, my echo location is all messed up from that department stores music. 1.1089 0.03115 101 90 11 0
3876 I told you to take a right turn at Jupiter! 1.1089 0.03697 101 92 7 2
3877 We have traveled Millions of light years no problem. But now you’re telling me you can’t find the exit, for where we parked? 1.1089 0.03115 101 90 11 0
3878 I find it easier to navigate the universe than to understand a mall's directory. The name on the stores are mind bogling! 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
3879 And yet, here we are, 8.7 nmglx to the east of that point. 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
3880 Knowing which store we're near is great and all, but on which PLANET? 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
3881 Stupid," you said. "Primitive... dolt-like... morons." So then, Mister-Know-it-All, how do you explain this 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
3882 I don't think we will find anything in our size. 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
3883 Maybe we can find our way home. 1.1087 0.03263 92 82 10 0
3884 I think we will just need to ask someone to take us to their leader 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
3885 Looks rather large. Perhaps we sould use the saucer. 1.1087 0.03927 92 84 6 2
3886 Last time I was here this place was packed. 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
3887 Hurry! My area 51 is ready to burst! 1.1087 0.04221 92 85 4 3
3888 This is Area 51? 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
3889 We need clothing and, oh yes, big sunglasses, but ugh we have no ears. 1.1087 0.03263 92 82 10 0
3890 After years on this planet, it took getting lost in this mall for me to finally understand the true meaning of 'alienation.'" 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
3891 Their technology breakthroughs certainly have stalled ever since we took Steve Jobs back. 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
3892 Darn it, no hat store. 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
3893 Can we grab a Cinnabon on the way to their leader? 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
3894 What constellation is this? 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
3895 I know there's got to be an Orange Julius somewhere. 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
3896 But you promised there was a Target. 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
3897 High Command ordered us to rendezvous in exactly 60 minutes at the escalator next to Cinnabon. And they also said I could get my ears pierced. 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
3898 You idiot, we flew all this way just to end up 'here!!'" 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
3899 The supplicant line leads to their ruler Cinnabon. 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
3900 This exhibit recreates an ancient human gathering location for social and trade interactions. Plus, it has the last Wetzel’s Pretzels! 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
3901 Are you SURE we didn’t forget anything? 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
3902 Beam me up to the food court, Scotty 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
3903 How did they locate us? Has the jammer from the spaceship stopped working!" 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
3904 I think this species may be too parochial to be of much help getting us home. 1.1081 0.03225 111 100 10 1
3905 And I thought the Subway Map was confusing. 1.1081 0.03225 111 100 10 1
3906 That’s good to know, but where the heck is the Cheesecake Factory? 1.1081 0.03470 111 101 8 2
3907 Should we start at ‘Spaceport’ or ‘Halloween Express’? 1.1081 0.03225 111 100 10 1
3908 I know where we are. Where's their leader? 1.1078 0.03386 102 92 9 1
3909 Why would you want to go to Claire's? You don't even have ears. 1.1078 0.03662 102 93 7 2
3910 I thought there was a Gap" 1.1078 0.03662 102 93 7 2
3911 Where on earth are these places? 1.1078 0.03662 102 93 7 2
3912 Do you see a good place to settle down and start a family? 1.1078 0.03386 102 92 9 1
3913 I guess we'd better time-travel back to the 90's 1.1078 0.03386 102 92 9 1
3914 Never make the mistake of thinking you're a lost alien on this planet. 1.1078 0.03086 102 91 11 0
3915 I think finding the shoes might be the problem 1.1078 0.03386 102 92 9 1
3916 This civilization must really like shoes. 1.1078 0.03662 102 93 7 2
3917 Of course, it's uninhabitable. 1.1078 0.03662 102 93 7 2
3918 I hope that the Apple Store is open. 1.1078 0.03386 102 92 9 1
3919 We could use the second bedroom for abductions.” 1.1075 0.03887 93 85 6 2
3920 Why wouldn’t they let us use the bathroom? 1.1075 0.03887 93 85 6 2
3921 Let's buy some 'clothes' quickly. 1.1075 0.03230 93 83 10 0
3922 I heard the food court is “like, totally far out.” 1.1075 0.03573 93 84 8 1
3923 Stop setting the GPS to the 1980s. 1.1075 0.03230 93 83 10 0
3924 How can they not label the restroom? 1.1075 0.04177 93 86 4 3
3925 Zordok told us the last mile was the hardest. 1.1075 0.03230 93 83 10 0
3926 … and just how are we supposed to get to the underware department without being seen? 1.1075 0.03230 93 83 10 0
3927 I can’t believe we came all this way and there's no Cinnabon! 1.1075 0.03573 93 84 8 1
3928 Why do they make it so complicated? All I want is a Speak and Spell. 1.1075 0.03573 93 84 8 1
3929 I don't understand. Where are the other planets? 1.1075 0.03887 93 85 6 2
3930 Jake and Elwood should be here any moment 1.1075 0.03230 93 83 10 0
3931 The nerve! Asked me if I was ‘undocumented’! I don’t even have a pair of pants 1.1075 0.03230 93 83 10 0
3932 Doesn't say which planet! 1.1075 0.03230 93 83 10 0
3933 I'm as shocked as you are. How were we to know it didn't stand for Heliospheres & Meteors? 1.1075 0.03573 93 84 8 1
3934 ' I told you we should've turned left at the moon.. Rodney! 1.1075 0.03573 93 84 8 1
3935 Well, we parked by the Macy’s. 1.1075 0.03887 93 85 6 2
3936 Should we go to Strawbridge’s first? Or do you want to grab a bite 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
3937 Yeah, but which galaxy? 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
3938 OK, you go on down to Brooks Brothers, and I’ll check out Men’s Wearhouse. Somebody has to have our size. 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
3939 They use them primarily to find their way out. 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
3940 So if we get separated let's meet at the food court at 1:00 so we can grab a bite to eat before we destroy this planet. 1.1071 0.03198 112 101 10 1
3941 This is an example of how humans can maximize their ability to comprehend spatial awareness. 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
3942 Are we sure this 'Kylie Jenner' entity actually knows where the leader is to be found? 1.1071 0.03440 112 102 8 2
3943 Spencer? Claire? Auntie Anne? I have not heard of these gods. 1.1071 0.03440 112 102 8 2
3944 2D? You have the dimensional travel settings backwards again. 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
3945 Looks like we're early for the Spirit Halloween pop-up. 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
3946 This gives me an idea for a T-shirt, once we get home. 1.1068 0.03355 103 93 9 1
3947 Which store sells pants? 1.1068 0.03355 103 93 9 1
3948 An indoor shopping center anchored by department stores? Sounds like science fiction. 1.1068 0.03355 103 93 9 1
3949 You know, I'm really longing for the open road. Let's get out of here before we're noticed. 1.1068 0.03058 103 92 11 0
3950 Ugh i can never use these maps. 1.1068 0.03355 103 93 9 1
3951 Just look for where they store all the weapons! 1.1068 0.03058 103 92 11 0
3952 You can ask, but I doubt they'll have anything in our sex. 1.1068 0.03058 103 92 11 0
3953 I said to turn right but you never listen! 1.1068 0.03058 103 92 11 0
3954 I’ve been needing some new underwear 1.1068 0.03355 103 93 9 1
3955 I hear the food court is out of this world. 1.1068 0.03355 103 93 9 1
3956 The best landing yet! If you got us any closer to the hot pretzels, they'd bite us. 1.1068 0.03058 103 92 11 0
3957 We are too late to save the human shopping mall from painstaking decline, Supreme Aunt Annie will be mercilessly disappointed… 1.1068 0.03355 103 93 9 1
3958 This planet is scary. And they don't have clothes that fit us. 1.1064 0.03537 94 85 8 1
3959 Do you think they sell ruby slippers here? 1.1064 0.03847 94 86 6 2
3960 Clear indication of a primitive society: this species elects to travel to the Amazon to retrieve their goods 1.1064 0.03847 94 86 6 2
3961 We need to find a shoe store with good arch support. 1.1064 0.03847 94 86 6 2
3962 I thought you said we were going back in time? 1.1064 0.03847 94 86 6 2
3963 What happened to Orange Julius? 1.1064 0.03537 94 85 8 1
3964 There's gotta be a Complaint Department . . about being renamed UAPs... 1.1064 0.03537 94 85 8 1
3965 And just, exactly, where is "here"? 1.1064 0.03197 94 84 10 0
3966 We should've taken the previous exit. 1.1064 0.03197 94 84 10 0
3967 Embarrassing not to find here on Earth the facility to nebulizing our fluids as we do back home… 1.1064 0.03847 94 86 6 2
3968 I don't feel that much out of place. But do we know where 'here' is? 1.1064 0.03537 94 85 8 1
3969 Really? Seventeen light years just to find out that they cancelled Orange Julius? 1.1064 0.03197 94 84 10 0
3970 Tell me I’m not fat, please shut up and just tell me I’m pretty right now 1.1064 0.03847 94 86 6 2
3971 Navigating the Milky Way was easier. 1.1064 0.03847 94 86 6 2
3972 Let’s try the Bistro – the food is reportedly out of this world. 1.1062 0.02911 113 101 12 0
3973 How can we be there, when we are here? 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
3974 It's the Rubric's Cube in two dimensions, I think 1.1059 0.04436 85 79 3 3
3975 The sign indicates, "You are here". I'm not. I am right here. Stupid earthlings. This is some bull****. 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
3976 As Bob Dylan says, “The ghost of electricity howls in the bones of her face.” 1.1059 0.04108 85 78 5 2
3977 we just found a great place. the prices are out of this world. 1.1059 0.04436 85 79 3 3
3978 But, honey, they have nothing here for me to wear, I want to go home. 1.1059 0.04108 85 78 5 2
3979 We're in Orion? I thought we were in Menkar. Galaxies look pretty much alike these days. 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
3980 Where’s the humans’ food place? I wanna try the ice food. 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
3981 These human idiots found the 11th dimension. 1.1058 0.04081 104 97 3 4
3982 We came all this way and they have the exact same chains! 1.1058 0.03324 104 94 9 1
3983 They haven't evolved past malls, Gloobak. 1.1058 0.03594 104 95 7 2
3984 blflllkk! There has to be a sunglass shop somewhere in here! 1.1058 0.03030 104 93 11 0
3985 We’ve must been kidnapped by the Unidentified Fashion Outlet 1.1058 0.03594 104 95 7 2
3986 Take us to your parking lot. 1.1058 0.03324 104 94 9 1
3987 Surely someone on this planet understands the word 'peace'" 1.1058 0.03594 104 95 7 2
3988 What even is this spaceship? 1.1058 0.03030 104 93 11 0
3989 Now where would we find some gifts for our teenage kids? 1.1053 0.03501 95 86 8 1
3990 This is where they store their endless inventory. 1.1053 0.03501 95 86 8 1
3991 Where to first? The Gap or Fashion Footware? 1.1053 0.03501 95 86 8 1
3992 If we are going to be inconspicuous we need find our way to a costume shop to look like that human 1.1053 0.03808 95 87 6 2
3993 Let’s follow that person. The map only shows men’s and women’s rooms. 1.1053 0.03382 114 104 8 2
3994 I told you to turn right at the red planet! 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
3995 I'm thinking skorts and a cinnamon bun. 1.1053 0.03165 95 85 10 0
3996 Navigational system needs updates. 1.1053 0.03165 95 85 10 0
3997 Did we make it all the here to see this? 1.1053 0.03501 95 86 8 1
3998 Oh no! They closed the junior petites store! 1.1053 0.03165 95 85 10 0
3999 Not crazy about the mall but is good to be back in San Francisco among our own kind. 1.1053 0.03501 95 86 8 1
4000 They must have shoes for extraterrestials, I mean this is the big and bestest Earth, after all. 1.1053 0.03808 95 87 6 2
4001 No we are not lost and no we don’t need a map. 1.1053 0.03808 95 87 6 2
4002 I told you to make a left at Alpha Centauri" 1.1053 0.03165 95 85 10 0
4003 . . . so, how do we get from here to there? 1.1053 0.03501 95 86 8 1
4004 Sorry, but we’re not leaving without a soft Pretzel. 1.1053 0.03501 95 86 8 1
4005 It says we are at the center of the universe 1.1053 0.03808 95 87 6 2
4006 Baby clothes! This place has got everything… 1.1053 0.03501 95 86 8 1
4007 You said Planet Earth was playing at this IMAX theatre 1.1053 0.03144 114 103 10 1
4008 But our GPS says we're in Area 51! 1.1053 0.03144 114 103 10 1
4009 Know your nearest exit, because if the windows say SALE, you might get sucked in. 1.1053 0.03808 95 87 6 2
4010 „And they say WE are from another planet!“ 1.1053 0.03808 95 87 6 2
4011 nothing to fear from humans, if that's how they orient themselves they won't get far out there 1.1053 0.03165 95 85 10 0
4012 Millions of light-years for Cinnabon? 1.1048 0.03294 105 95 9 1
4013 Can we just find the costume shop and try to blend in while we work out our long-term assimilation plans? 1.1048 0.03561 105 96 7 2
4014 It seems to be some sort of warning sign. 1.1047 0.04061 86 79 5 2
4015 Take me to your Harris Teeter. 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
4016 I think our galaxy is around the corner from the Gap. 1.1047 0.04061 86 79 5 2
4017 Does this mean they haven't found out about online shopping yet? 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
4018 Looks like we’re way off course. 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
4019 But finding this planet was so easy. 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
4020 Let’s dress to kill. Herbert Fishman N.Y.C. 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
4021 Looks like Spanx are the nearest option. (reg.trademark - needs a tiny TM after Spanx, can't type it, tho) 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
4022 Apparently, "No money, no clothes." 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
4023 Do you think we might spot any unidentified buying objects? 1.1047 0.04061 86 79 5 2
4024 "We don't know where we are but that is what our shadows look like." 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
4025 Ugh, they don’t have a Sephora. 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
4026 Take me to your eatery. 1.1043 0.03354 115 105 8 2
4027 No shop for green unisex coveralls? 1.1042 0.03466 96 87 8 1
4028 Can you see a one size fits all store? 1.1042 0.03466 96 87 8 1
4029 We never had this much trouble when we were finding Mars. 1.1042 0.03769 96 88 6 2
4030 Stupid Humans. Their map of the universe is all wrong! 1.1042 0.03466 96 87 8 1
4031 Bitch, I'm not shopping at Journeys! 1.1042 0.03466 96 87 8 1
4032 I know I’m “here.”! UCLA Do you see which way it is to Area 51? 1.1042 0.03466 96 87 8 1
4033 What level can we find space attire? 1.1042 0.03134 96 86 10 0
4034 Planet fitness; equinox; let’s go to macdonalds 1.1042 0.03134 96 86 10 0
4035 Remember our training: no eye contact with the kiosk workers. 1.1042 0.03466 96 87 8 1
4036 Exploring the ruins of a long dead civilization. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4037 Andromeda to Earth no problem 1.1039 0.04369 77 71 4 2
4038 We can trust them—they’re selling pictures of us at Spencer’s Gifts. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
4039 It appears that they easily get lost in spaces." 1.1038 0.03264 106 96 9 1
4040 Well, we found Earth, but can someone explain what ‘Buy One, Get One Free’ means? 1.1038 0.03264 106 96 9 1
4041 Wrong! We are not there... We're here...Beware false witness! 1.1038 0.03264 106 96 9 1
4042 Panda Express! Yes! 1.1038 0.03264 106 96 9 1
4043 We can navigate the galaxy, but apparently we cannot navigate this mall. 1.1038 0.02976 106 95 11 0
4044 When you said you were taking me out to dinner for my birthday, I expected a nice restaurant, not the mall food court! 1.1038 0.02976 106 95 11 0
4045 But where are the craters? 1.1038 0.03264 106 96 9 1
4046 I thought all planets were round...? 1.1034 0.02840 116 104 12 0
4047 Where's Gimbels? 1.1034 0.04016 87 80 5 2
4048 In a mall this big, you'd think we could find something to wear. 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
4049 I told you to check if they still had a Hot Topic before we left the house. 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
4050 I told you we should've turned left at Neptune! 1.1034 0.02840 116 104 12 0
4051 Where is "HERE"? Did we take a wrong turn at Canopus-D? 1.1034 0.03284 87 78 9 0
4052 So this is where the Humans have their Spaceship, what is SAKS? 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
4053 Oh, dear, their maps are as two dimensional as we are. 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
4054 No Radio Shack here, either!? I knew we should have gone to Shenzhen! 1.1034 0.03284 87 78 9 0
4055 I see. The centre of the lies here 1.1031 0.03432 97 88 8 1
4056 Where do we start … SAKS, Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus or Dollar General Store? 1.1031 0.03432 97 88 8 1
4057 We ought to get dressed. 1.1031 0.03104 97 87 10 0
4058 Head towards the Target 1.1031 0.03432 97 88 8 1
4059 Women's and men's clothing. Underwear first. 1.1031 0.03432 97 88 8 1
4060 Where is the Men's Room? 1.1031 0.03432 97 88 8 1
4061 Where's the food court? I'm craving Cinnabon. 1.1031 0.03104 97 87 10 0
4062 I don't see Ann Taylor Loft. 1.1031 0.03732 97 89 6 2
4063 How do they possibly know that we're here, our taste in interplanetary fashion and the sizes for our outfits? 1.1031 0.03432 97 88 8 1
4064 I think this is zoomed in 1.1031 0.03104 97 87 10 0
4065 'So, the nearest clothing store is one floor away?' 1.1028 0.03235 107 97 9 1
4066 When I said 'Take me to your leader' I obviously didn't think she would bring us here! 1.1028 0.03235 107 97 9 1
4067 This florescent light is killing me Larry! Let's make our way to the Sunglass Store and get some shades so we can see where the hell we are. 1.1028 0.03497 107 98 7 2
4068 Food court? Do we look like we eat? 1.1028 0.03497 107 98 7 2
4069 We ARE here, but they are all wearing clothes! 1.1028 0.03235 107 97 9 1
4070 ‘I told you Earthling art was bizarre’ 1.1028 0.02950 107 96 11 0
4071 Andromeda’s got nothing on these creatures. 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
4072 How can we blend in now that Express is gone? 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
4073 What do you thinkr? Do we address him using his first name or his last? 1.1026 0.03299 117 107 8 2
4074 This should help us find our Target. 1.1023 0.03972 88 81 5 2
4075 We're lost! There's no leader here! 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
4076 All well and good, but where is it we're going? 1.1023 0.03972 88 81 5 2
4077 Where the hell is Macy's? 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
4078 The world is more and more out of control. so the people would not have a problem with us being different. 1.1023 0.03249 88 79 9 0
4079 I think they are spying on us ! 1.1023 0.03972 88 81 5 2
4080 Told you it was harder than coming to earth 1.1023 0.03972 88 81 5 2
4081 When did they close the Orange Julius? 1.1023 0.03972 88 81 5 2
4082 Do you know what they mean by "clothing", and what's a "women's" or a "men's"? 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
4083 We landed in the middle of a Hans Hofmann! 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
4084 Great! We travel 800 light years and this place doesn’t even have a Cinnabon! 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
4085 No, I don't think we will find their leader here. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
4086 I know we’re here. But where do we get underwear? 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
4087 Let's blow this joint. No wonder they're all empty- no place to land our spaceship 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
4088 This is our last mall museum for today. Next are the newspaper museum and the library museum. 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
4089 Damn, we traveled two trillion light years just for Cinnabon to be closed. 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
4090 Recognize this Mallor System I do not. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
4091 Why is it the places we want are always in opposite ends? 1.1020 0.03073 98 88 10 0
4092 “ So…, where is Victoria’s Secret?” 1.1019 0.03206 108 98 9 1
4093 Froog! I KNEW we should have taken a left turn at Aldebaran! 1.1019 0.03206 108 98 9 1
4094 . You're the one who claims to have solved the three body problem, so where are the washrooms. 1.1019 0.02924 108 97 11 0
4095 According to this tracking device, we’re at .. The Gap.. 1.1019 0.03206 108 98 9 1
4096 Abort the invasion! It is the advanced civilization after all. 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
4097 I think I'm losing interest in email. 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
4098 FLY ZONE! THAT'S IT. THAT'LL GET US HOME. 1.1011 0.03589 89 81 7 1
4099 We better find it fast - I was told this was the last open mall on Earth. 1.1011 0.03589 89 81 7 1
4100 We traveled 140 million miles, and we can't find the Foot Locker. 1.1011 0.03589 89 81 7 1
4101 I liked Spencer's 2 million light years ago. 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
4102 I'm not seeing Androgynous clothing 1.1011 0.03589 89 81 7 1
4103 The clothing store is right behind us. What's clothing? 1.1011 0.03589 89 81 7 1
4104 Quit being picky! We need clothes NOW! 1.1011 0.03589 89 81 7 1
4105 Tell me about it 1.1011 0.03929 89 82 5 2
4106 Very outdated. Our GPS implants help us to get anywhere. 1.1011 0.03929 89 82 5 2
4107 It would be awesome if their leader is at the food court. 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
4108 Geezus, Sephora closed down... 1.1011 0.03929 89 82 5 2
4109 Shoot. I think we parked in the other garage. 1.1011 0.03589 89 81 7 1
4110 You’re telling me we came all this way and they don’t even have a Radio Shack? 1.1011 0.03589 89 81 7 1
4111 GASP...it says they filmed Blues Brothers here! 1.1011 0.03589 89 81 7 1
4112 Oh. 1.1010 0.03366 99 90 8 1
4113 The Rabbit was right. Turn right in Albuquerque. 1.1010 0.03044 99 89 10 0
4114 I overheard people discussing bling and thought we should give it a try 1.1010 0.03659 99 91 6 2
4115 Hmm, I told them to beam us down near the CBD Store.... 1.1010 0.03659 99 91 6 2
4116 Don’t worry. We’ll find a cool clothing store. 1.1010 0.03366 99 90 8 1
4117 Do they really know what the sign says?” World Domination 1.1010 0.03366 99 90 8 1
4118 You go right and I'll go left and we will meet back here 1.1010 0.03366 99 90 8 1
4119 quick bob where is the nearest clothing department! 1.1010 0.03659 99 91 6 2
4120 This mall directory map is more confusing than when we first landed on earth. 1.1010 0.03659 99 91 6 2
4121 Not exactly Mall of America... but it is a shorter teleport. 1.1010 0.03366 99 90 8 1
4122 Those mall cops are out of this world. 1.1010 0.03659 99 91 6 2
4123 'We are "here", and not on planet Earth ?Obviously, someone miscalculated...' 1.1010 0.03044 99 89 10 0
4124 All those clothing stores and no travel agencies? 1.1010 0.03366 99 90 8 1
4125 We traveled thousands of lightyears to get here, and yet we can't even find the food court. 1.1010 0.03044 99 89 10 0
4126 Remind me what are we advertising this week 1.1009 0.03178 109 99 9 1
4127 If this is where everybody shops, where is everybody? 1.1009 0.02898 109 98 11 0
4128 Okay, but where is their leader? 1.1009 0.03178 109 99 9 1
4129 They food court has a Johnny Rockets? That guy flew into my house! 1.1009 0.03178 109 99 9 1
4130 Where in the Funiculi Funicula is Zeta Reticuli? 1.1009 0.03178 109 99 9 1
4131 I told you these beings are hung up on nudity...they have established an entire system of multifaceted coverings and spread it throughout their planet. 1.1009 0.03178 109 99 9 1
4132 Those interstellar navigation courses didn't prepare us for this 1.1009 0.03435 109 100 7 2
4133 All I want to know, is where is the dam toilet ? 1.1000 0.03333 100 91 8 1
4134 News travels fast! 1.1000 0.03624 100 92 6 2
4135 I told you humans were otherworldly 1.1000 0.03015 100 90 10 0
4136 I told you to ask for directions at Neptune! 1.1000 0.03150 110 100 9 1
4137 This is 'nothing' like our mall at home. They still have a Talbots." 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
4138 Atleast our malls have spaceship parking area 1.1000 0.03150 110 100 9 1
4139 In all my light years, I've never seen anything like this. I think maybe we've landed on Heaven. We made it! 1.1000 0.02873 110 99 11 0
4140 140 million miles and you're telling me there's no Auntie Annie's pretzels here? 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
4141 Bring me to your leader 1.1000 0.02873 110 99 11 0
4142 We drove 100,000 light years for this? 1.1000 0.03150 110 100 9 1
4143 Sure, we can swing by Hot Topic, but don’t forget that we’re terraforming the planet at noon. 1.1000 0.03551 90 82 7 1
4144 No Cinnabon? 1.1000 0.03333 100 91 8 1
4145 Mission Directions says store #10 has big sloppy hoodies. Now under pressure, I think that might be a food I smell. 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
4146 Damn, looks like the corporations have already invaded here. 1.1000 0.03551 90 82 7 1
4147 Everything we want to know but why. 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
4148 We come in B-6 1.1000 0.03150 110 100 9 1
4149 Fred, Earthlings act like rats in a maze. Ha! Ha! 1.1000 0.03150 110 100 9 1
4150 You told me I could find Alien Fischer here. 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
4151 It’s so busy. We went back in time!” 1.1000 0.03333 100 91 8 1
4152 Like I said, it’s not really a Secret. 1.1000 0.03624 100 92 6 2
4153 No stores offering male enhancement; we’ll have to go online. 1.1000 0.03015 100 90 10 0
4154 The food court coordinates with a black hole. 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
4155 I’ll be in Hot Topic. Stay away from Victoria’s Secret! 1.1000 0.03551 90 82 7 1
4156 Why do it the hard way? Vaporize mall till you see saucer. 1.1000 0.03333 100 91 8 1
4157 No Jim, we won't hijack this one, it can't even fly! 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
4158 We're not in Zeta Reticuli anymore. 1.1000 0.03551 90 82 7 1
4159 How is it possible that this Earthling complex has three Sunglass Huts but no intergalactic wormhole portal? 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
4160 Are we shopping for boxers or briefs? 1.1000 0.03015 100 90 10 0
4161 We got here without help from light years away - they need this to find a store? 1.1000 0.03624 100 92 6 2
4162 We're looking for Amazon. 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
4163 It won't bring us to their leader, but to place called McDonald's. 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
4164 We came all this way for the Genius Bar, but still no intelligent life 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
4165 If they don’t have your ice cream flavor at this one, we are NOT going to Mars, Kevin. 1.1000 0.03551 90 82 7 1
4166 Where the fuck is STRUCTURE!? 1.1000 0.03405 110 101 7 2
4167 The Starbucks is downstairs by Sears 1.1000 0.03333 100 91 8 1
4168 Find the Halloween Costume Store, quickly. 1.0992 0.02970 121 110 10 1
4169 43 million miles, only to find out there’s no Old Navy in this mall. 1.0991 0.02849 111 100 11 0
4170 There is a Food Court in this place! 1.0991 0.03375 111 102 7 2
4171 Are you sure you programmed Venus, the planet, into the transporter? 1.0991 0.03375 111 102 7 2
4172 Where's the Spirit Halloween shop? 1.0990 0.02987 101 91 10 0
4173 Where's a Target when you really need one? 1.0990 0.02987 101 91 10 0
4174 I TOLD you we should have turned left at Albuquerque!! 1.0990 0.03302 101 92 8 1
4175 What, no Sears? 1.0990 0.02987 101 91 10 0
4176 You really parked as far as possible from the L.L. Bean, huh? 1.0990 0.03302 101 92 8 1
4177 The diagram alone serves as proof to the superiority of their species. 1.0990 0.03302 101 92 8 1
4178 How did we get from here to there? 1.0990 0.02987 101 91 10 0
4179 Remember Clive, every fast food joint is a diabetes trap. 1.0990 0.02987 101 91 10 0
4180 Check if this one has a Radio Shack” 1.0990 0.03589 101 93 6 2
4181 I really wish Amazon would deliver. 1.0990 0.02987 101 91 10 0
4182 E.T. phone Dave & Busters about our reservation... 1.0990 0.03302 101 92 8 1
4183 Did we land at the CIA? 1.0989 0.03845 91 84 5 2
4184 We should start with a bank and a wallet, no? 1.0989 0.03147 91 82 9 0
4185 The only Food Court restaurant left is Sbarro, just like at home. 1.0989 0.03147 91 82 9 0
4186 Someone must have tipped them off that we were coming and hidden their leader. 1.0989 0.03513 91 83 7 1
4187 I hope the clothing shops carry our size? I'm cold! 1.0989 0.03147 91 82 9 0
4188 We need a new saucer. Let's each check out housewares and then meet up in the coffee shop. 1.0989 0.03513 91 83 7 1
4189 And you say we can people-watch from here? 1.0989 0.03147 91 82 9 0
4190 It says Department Stores, so why can't we find the tortured poets? 1.0989 0.03513 91 83 7 1
4191 Where do we get a Coke and a hamburger? 1.0989 0.03513 91 83 7 1
4192 I think the Brooks Brothers store must have closed. 1.0989 0.03147 91 82 9 0
4193 Take me to their fashion leader 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
4194 We're not going to be comfortable with all this oversight. 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
4195 You navigated us across millions of light-years, countless wormholes, multiple realities...and now you're telling me that you are pretty sure we already walked past the Cinnabon! 1.0982 0.03346 112 103 7 2
4196 Okay, one cinnamon bun, but then we have to be making some light speed! 1.0982 0.02825 112 101 11 0
4197 Does this look like a crop circle to you? I told you that we should have asked for directions. 1.0982 0.02825 112 101 11 0
4198 Try not to say anything about home. 1.0980 0.03271 102 93 8 1
4199 I wonder where we are suppose to go, because they just have men, women and family restrooms. 1.0980 0.03271 102 93 8 1
4200 I fail to see its attraction for young earthlings. 1.0980 0.03271 102 93 8 1
4201 Warby Parker and Victoria Secret, in that order... 1.0980 0.02959 102 92 10 0
4202 I forget where we parked. That lot is like a black hole. 1.0980 0.02959 102 92 10 0
4203 You’d think as superior beings we’d be able to find Nordstrom Rack, we need to blend! 1.0980 0.03271 102 93 8 1
4204 Are we even on the right planet? 1.0980 0.03271 102 93 8 1
4205 The new Italian restaurant is apparently out of this world. 1.0980 0.02959 102 92 10 0
4206 No Hot Topic here? 1.0978 0.03477 92 84 7 1
4207 They haven’t yet developed kerning. 1.0978 0.03114 92 83 9 0
4208 RadioShack went out of business? F*ck! 1.0978 0.03477 92 84 7 1
4209 Spencers for probes then were outta here 🛸 1.0978 0.03477 92 84 7 1
4210 Where’s pizza planet? 1.0978 0.03114 92 83 9 0
4211 If THESE are their battle plans, they’re in trouble. 1.0978 0.03477 92 84 7 1
4212 But I'm still confused about where we parked... 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
4213 We are somewhere between the sun and Saturn. 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
4214 'Director/Leader, what's the difference, you said!' 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
4215 Excellent navigation, we landed right in front of Spencer's Gifts. 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
4216 Dry Cleaning? 1.0973 0.02801 113 102 11 0
4217 Where’s their evacuation? I really have to go. 1.0973 0.02801 113 102 11 0
4218 But what is the planet? 1.0973 0.02801 113 102 11 0
4219 Is this what they call Inner Space? 1.0973 0.03070 113 103 9 1
4220 Guess they don't sell probe kits. 1.0973 0.03318 113 104 7 2
4221 Just show me where Phoebe Cates works. 1.0973 0.03318 113 104 7 2
4222 I don’t think this is the right place for the Government ! “ R.L. Russell, Marion, Iowa 1.0971 0.02932 103 93 10 0
4223 Really, it's just like Neptune! 1.0971 0.02932 103 93 10 0
4224 Let's find another coffee shop. The line at Starbuck's is out of this world 1.0971 0.02932 103 93 10 0
4225 If we can make crop circles in corn and wheat fields, then why not a Westfield? 1.0971 0.02932 103 93 10 0
4226 And you thought traversing this galaxy was tough. 1.0971 0.02932 103 93 10 0
4227 So, where do we find this infamous Hot Topic? 1.0971 0.03522 103 95 6 2
4228 So where’s the dispensary? 1.0968 0.03082 93 84 9 0
4229 Find a clothing store 1.0968 0.03082 93 84 9 0
4230 The hat store looks interesting. 1.0968 0.03441 93 85 7 1
4231 Let’s start with the lingerie 1.0968 0.03765 93 86 5 2
4232 I thought we came to planet Earth!> 1.0968 0.03082 93 84 9 0
4233 We've been through every dimension in the galaxy and we can't find the right level for the drugstore? 1.0968 0.03441 93 85 7 1
4234 We’re obviously underdressed. We’d better get some duds before they close this place down. 1.0968 0.03082 93 84 9 0
4235 You mean we gotta walk thru the whole mall like this before we get to men's wear? I'm living my worst nightmare! 1.0968 0.03765 93 86 5 2
4236 Were we supposed to tip someone? 1.0968 0.03441 93 85 7 1
4237 Twenty human years traveling around the solar system and this is the closest you could get us to Mars. 1.0968 0.03765 93 86 5 2
4238 I got my probing done at Claire's 1.0968 0.02901 124 113 10 1
4239 What this mall needs is an Orange Julius 1.0968 0.03765 93 86 5 2
4240 They said we were going to be a 'hot topic,' so I guess let's just go there? 1.0968 0.03765 93 86 5 2
4241 Now I'm worried we'll get lost in the parking lot. 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
4242 You wanted to get back home, where here it is ‽ At something called a Cinema, we can get 2 tickets to Beetlejuice. 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
4243 Take us to your shift leader. 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
4244 And you're sure that these 'Cinnabons' will end up being worth it? 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
4245 Finally, the Kingdom of Cinnabon 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
4246 Search staunchly. My spouse stipulated I can't come back sans skinny jeans. 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
4247 Where's the McDonald's we came her for?" 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
4248 I thought Voltar said our ship would be near the Cinnabon. 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
4249 We know where we are, but where is the Dollar Store? 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
4250 Well, we are NOT HERE! If they just embraced AI we wouldn't be stuck in one-dimensional no-man's land! 1.0962 0.03210 104 95 8 1
4251 And here we thought bricks and mortar retail was dead. 1.0962 0.03489 104 96 6 2
4252 I thought you said they had GPS?! 1.0962 0.02905 104 94 10 0
4253 Where's the sale? 1.0962 0.03210 104 95 8 1
4254 Nope, no signs of life here… 1.0962 0.03747 104 97 4 3
4255 Okay, you get the Cinnabon and I'll get the Annie's Pretzels. 1.0962 0.03210 104 95 8 1
4256 There's no chance in hell I can make it to the restroom before sh1tting my pants. 1.0962 0.03210 104 95 8 1
4257 Think anyone will notice we're lost? 1.0957 0.03405 94 86 7 1
4258 I thought 3D was simpler than 4D, but these guys are working in a whole new dimension 1.0957 0.03405 94 86 7 1
4259 And I always thought our ship's manual was complicated... 1.0957 0.03405 94 86 7 1
4260 Sure, I’ve noticed that we’re the only ones without pants, but we’re due at Area 52. 1.0957 0.03051 94 85 9 0
4261 We traveled 60 light years to get here and now the Cinnabon is on the complete other side of the mall? 1.0957 0.03405 94 86 7 1
4262 What is this place with free people and food taken to court? 1.0957 0.03051 94 85 9 0
4263 This doesn't look like any of the structures we built on Earth 2,500 Earth years ago. 1.0957 0.03405 94 86 7 1
4264 But how do we get to the garage? 1.0957 0.03405 94 86 7 1
4265 What do they mean by "Level" 1.0957 0.03051 94 85 9 0
4266 I'd rather stay naked than pay these prices. 1.0957 0.03051 94 85 9 0
4267 This looks as if it was done by the same beings who produced that strange golden record. 1.0957 0.03405 94 86 7 1
4268 So right about the decline of capitalism?" 1.0957 0.03051 94 85 9 0
4269 Map's too simple. 1.0957 0.03726 94 87 5 2
4270 The mothership is picking us up from the car wash. What’s a car? 1.0957 0.03405 94 86 7 1
4271 Where did you park? 1.0957 0.03262 115 106 7 2
4272 Not a single store here sells the skin we like, I guess we can go home now. What a waste of a Tuesday. 1.0957 0.02755 115 104 11 0
4273 I heard Verizon was having a sale on 5,000,000G 1.0952 0.02878 105 95 10 0
4274 Which one has the discount Presidents? 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
4275 So odd, back home we are always in two places at once. 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
4276 I can’t believe we came all this way and they don’t have a Lululemon. 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
4277 Let’s try restroom. They probably have some clothes.” 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
4278 This place is out of this world! I hope we find something in my size! 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
4279 Are we going for she/her or he/him? 1.0952 0.03457 105 97 6 2
4280 I always feel like an alien when shopping outside of the city. 1.0952 0.03181 105 96 8 1
4281 Lost in the maze of human knowledge, even aliens await answers 1.0952 0.04015 84 78 4 2
4282 The sales are out of this world. 1.0952 0.03181 105 96 8 1
4283 We traveled three light years and crossed four galaxies just for this but you can’t find White Barn in the list? 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
4284 We're in the right place. 'Clothes make the man,' you know. 1.0952 0.03181 105 96 8 1
4285 Great, and they told us to take a right at the Milky Way to find the clothing department. 1.0952 0.03457 105 97 6 2
4286 Do you think the leader meant we had to wear clothes that would make us look like a shadow of our former selves. 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
4287 Can you figure out where we can buy shoes 1.0952 0.03181 105 96 8 1
4288 This is a long walk to convince me cargo pants are ever coming back into style 1.0952 0.04015 84 78 4 2
4289 H&M first and then their leader. 1.0947 0.03688 95 88 5 2
4290 Nothing just says Bermuda Shorts? 1.0947 0.03371 95 87 7 1
4291 Looks like we've found the two most confused intergalactic tourists. 'Excuse me, earthling, where might we find your leader... and maybe some cosmic latte and those cinnamon pretzels?' 1.0947 0.03021 95 86 9 0
4292 I done see any spare parts shops here 1.0947 0.03021 95 86 9 0
4293 According to our research ‘Leader’ should be somewhere between K-Mart and Macy’s 1.0947 0.03980 95 89 3 3
4294 I swear...the last time we were here there was a J. Riggings! 1.0947 0.03021 95 86 9 0
4295 Now where is that hair salon ?! 1.0947 0.03021 95 86 9 0
4296 How unusual, this mall is frequented by humans! 1.0947 0.03688 95 88 5 2
4297 Take us to your Sbarro 1.0947 0.03021 95 86 9 0
4298 Did you remember to bring Google Maps? 1.0943 0.03425 106 98 6 2
4299 Is it my imagination, or did we take a wrong turn into Flatland? 1.0943 0.02853 106 96 10 0
4300 Where is the paradise we heard about? And people look at us like freaks. They cover their bodies with funny looking stuff. They don't appreciate the beauty of a bare ass. Let's go home, our 'Leader' wants us back. 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
4301 Drat! Could this be the 2D depiction of Deathstar? I think I see the superlaser next to Orange Julius 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
4302 Damn! There's no intergalactic spaceship repair shop. But we should check for footwear for the girls while we're here, don't you think? 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
4303 Where’s the potty parity for we aliens? 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
4304 What do you think Cinnabon is? 1.0941 0.03969 85 79 4 2
4305 Oh well, why don't we start with the clothier just behind us? 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
4306 We came a thousand light-years and found "earth" but earthlings need a map to find the food court!! 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
4307 The bath salt store is other side of the mall!?!?!?!? 1.0938 0.03651 96 89 5 2
4308 If I have to wear Earth clothes, I want to make a fashion statement. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
4309 If I don’t have Cinnabon in the next five minutes, I’m going to abduct Ryan Gosling. 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
4310 I'm going to Brookstone. Meet you back here in say, 2 light-years?" 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
4311 Finding this planet was simple — but finding the restrooms in this place will take 200 light years according to this directory! 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
4312 Headquarters said the invasion begins at A24, but I'll be damned if I can find it on this directory. 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
4313 ‘how are these more difficult to navigate than interstellar travel?’ 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
4314 I don't see their leader on this map. 1.0935 0.03123 107 98 8 1
4315 Darn it Carl, I told you the Container Store was on the other side of the galaxy! 1.0935 0.02827 107 97 10 0
4316 We just traveled 2.5 million light years and you can't find Banana Republic? 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
4317 Why does the half-tone used for the silhouette of the person walking away match that of the area in the lower left corner of this map? 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
4318 Where the elite meet to eat" doesn't sound a place to blend in 1.0930 0.03558 86 79 6 1
4319 But are we "here" in space, or time, or both? And where in heaven's name is the extra-terrestial bathroom? 1.0930 0.03558 86 79 6 1
4320 Is there a mannequin store where we can browse? 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
4321 This can't be right, why would Taylor Swift perform here? 1.0930 0.03558 86 79 6 1
4322 The only intelligent life is at Nordstrom Rack. 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
4323 We are close to Target. That’s a worry. 1.0930 0.03558 86 79 6 1
4324 They appear to be big on covering their bodies. 1.0930 0.03558 86 79 6 1
4325 But, where’s the men’s clothing? 1.0928 0.03304 97 89 7 1
4326 The Rocket Burger place has given me nuclear indigestion. I'm afraid light speed is too late" 1.0928 0.03304 97 89 7 1
4327 Perhaps a couple of lids? 1.0928 0.03304 97 89 7 1
4328 We've traveled 3 million light-years to get here, Quorlax. I think we deserve to try this 'ice cream of the future!' 1.0928 0.03304 97 89 7 1
4329 If you had asked for directions at Sirius, we wouldn't be standing here now, lost in front of a Forever 21! 1.0928 0.03304 97 89 7 1
4330 Let’s try Bath & Body works first. 1.0928 0.02961 97 88 9 0
4331 See! I told you we should’ve turned left at the Willam’s Sonoma! 1.0928 0.02961 97 88 9 0
4332 but this map is a trap 1.0928 0.02961 97 88 9 0
4333 We are on the wrong ship again. 1.0926 0.03096 108 99 8 1
4334 No Sunglass Hut or Lids? Now what?? 1.0926 0.03364 108 100 6 2
4335 I told you to take a picture of the parking stall number where we parked our spaceship. 1.0926 0.03096 108 99 8 1
4336 Of all the malls in all of the universe, Darth Vader had to walk in here! 1.0926 0.03612 108 101 4 3
4337 I told you open air abductions are easier. 1.0926 0.02802 108 98 10 0
4338 Unidentified Forum Operation 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
4339 As long as this universe has matcha cafes, it was worth the stop. 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
4340 Is you a person, then where is you at? 1.0921 0.04262 76 71 3 2
4341 What universe did you say “Mall” is in again? 1.0920 0.03116 87 79 8 0
4342 I told you we should have parked on the other side! 1.0920 0.03116 87 79 8 0
4343 We got all the way to this tiny rock in space, but we can't find Forever 21. 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
4344 What on earth were they thinking? 1.0920 0.03116 87 79 8 0
4345 We can't return home, but we CAN RETURN select items for store credit. 1.0920 0.03116 87 79 8 0
4346 I think I left the fob in the last dressing room. 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
4347 I told you we were in New Jersey! 1.0920 0.03116 87 79 8 0
4348 Could we use the unisex one? 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
4349 I told you we should use the ‘just three words’ app. 1.0920 0.03116 87 79 8 0
4350 „This monolith is even more mysterious than the one we left on the moon.“ 1.0920 0.03116 87 79 8 0
4351 We must meet this "Auntie Anne," they seem to have the greatest dominion... 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
4352 Finding their leader looks very complicated. 1.0918 0.02932 98 89 9 0
4353 Perhaps this Lilly Pulitzer is the great leader on the mall we seek? 1.0918 0.02932 98 89 9 0
4354 Hot Dog on a Stick?" I thought we didnt do that anymore.. 1.0918 0.03579 98 91 5 2
4355 Hmmmm, this location does not seem to represent a place of commerce for this species but more like a place for their older units to walk in a controlled climate. 1.0918 0.03271 98 90 7 1
4356 Tanger. This must be where we get Tang. 1.0918 0.03271 98 90 7 1
4357 We should've brought our own winter coats. 1.0918 0.03271 98 90 7 1
4358 Good Lord Motron. Didn't I tell you to stop and ask for directions? Area 51 is NOT Forever 21. 1.0918 0.02932 98 89 9 0
4359 What? No Gap Kids! 1.0918 0.03271 98 90 7 1
4360 But where’s Brandy Melville? 1.0918 0.02932 98 89 9 0
4361 Too alien for earth, but too human for shopping malls. Damnit. I can’t remember where we parked the spacecraft. 1.0918 0.03271 98 90 7 1
4362 Do you see Spencer's Gifts on the map? 1.0917 0.02778 109 99 10 0
4363 We came all this way, and no Auntie Annie's? 1.0917 0.03068 109 100 8 1
4364 Do you see Ripley’s Believe It or Not anywhere? 1.0917 0.02778 109 99 10 0
4365 I think they're getting us back for all those years of probes. 1.0909 0.03082 88 80 8 0
4366 Wow. No Starbucks 1.0909 0.03240 99 91 7 1
4367 I don't understand this map. 1.0909 0.02754 110 100 10 0
4368 Ill go if you actually buy an outfit this time 1.0909 0.03480 88 81 6 1
4369 I've made my way from galaxy to galaxy, but these mall directories are ridiculous. I just want some Air Jordans. 1.0909 0.03480 88 81 6 1
4370 I know where we are. I want to know who we are. 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
4371 We'll never make it without a ticket ! 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
4372 It's easier navigating Uranus. 1.0909 0.03041 110 101 8 1
4373 Looks like everything has closed down except Orange Julius. 1.0909 0.03082 88 80 8 0
4374 First thing we need to do is find the alien clothing department. Then let’s have lunch… 1.0909 0.03082 88 80 8 0
4375 Gotta say Zork - I'm feeling a little alien here! 1.0909 0.02904 99 90 9 0
4376 Remind me, in which galaxy were we? 1.0909 0.03240 99 91 7 1
4377 I heard the grub at the food court is out of this world. 1.0909 0.02904 99 90 9 0
4378 We don’t have money. Let’s go to a designer store, scare people out, and grab some decent clothes. We wait till the cops to arrive and take us to their leader. You have Plan B that’ll keep us clothed and warm, and stylishly presented to the leader? 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
4379 Was it Teddy Bearskins or Bare Essentials? 1.0909 0.03240 99 91 7 1
4380 What do you mean there’s no Sbarro? 1.0909 0.02904 99 90 9 0
4381 I’m not sure the wife and kids are going to believe me when I tell them that after traveling millions of miles, I couldn’t find Lord & Taylor; Bed, Bath, and Beyond; Pier One; Modell’s; and Barneys. 1.0909 0.03543 99 92 5 2
4382 Take me to your orange julius. 1.0909 0.02904 99 90 9 0
4383 Well it looks like your idea of taking a break from Galactic Challenge was a big mistake. They went bankrupt. 1.0909 0.03240 99 91 7 1
4384 "I'm beginning to think there is no Johnny Rockets." 1.0909 0.02904 99 90 9 0
4385 Trust me, Mom... the sales are out of this world. 1.0909 0.02904 99 90 9 0
4386 And you go into each store instead of having them send it directly to your house? This feels pretty alien. 1.0909 0.03480 88 81 6 1
4387 Ok he said we should look for IT, Phones, Home 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
4388 Perhaps we as what secret Victoria is keeping? 1.0909 0.03480 88 81 6 1
4389 That's not a real Kandinsky, Redmund, you can have froyo after we go to the gallery. 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
4390 What store do you think they sell the earthling children in? 1.0900 0.03208 100 92 7 1
4391 How do they know where we're going to be? 1.0900 0.03208 100 92 7 1
4392 I don't see the bath robe section? 1.0900 0.02876 100 91 9 0
4393 I don’t see how this map will help us get back to our ship, but it’s nice to know we’re seen in this chaos. 1.0900 0.02876 100 91 9 0
4394 Jesus, are we ever lost! 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
4395 Honey I told you those churros would make us astro project 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
4396 Aw, man, no Cinnabon? Let's just go back home. 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
4397 Uh oh, I'm not seeing Alpha Centauri on there 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
4398 Sam Goody went out of business?!? 1.0899 0.03442 89 82 6 1
4399 Let’s hope the food court here has banned plastic soda straws! 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
4400 I don't care which shop will have the better price. Just find the closest clothing store so we can blend in. 1.0899 0.03442 89 82 6 1
4401 I could’ve sworn this mall had a Sears store 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
4402 This hospitality looks a little bit suspicious to me 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
4403 I’m just looking for their leader. 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
4404 Remember we are people without pants we have to mix ourselves... 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
4405 I told Arig to meet us at the food court at 11:30. I hope he's not snacking in the children's section again. 1.0893 0.03486 112 105 4 3
4406 Damn! We passed the Starbucks on the first floor. 1.0891 0.02849 101 92 9 0
4407 Where did we go wrong? 1.0891 0.03178 101 93 7 1
4408 It's not too late to return to your world, trust me, you are better off! 1.0891 0.02849 101 92 9 0
4409 That human asked if I was looking for the 'Bulemia Store'. 1.0891 0.03178 101 93 7 1
4410 Find that booth for free dermal treatments we tried last time! 1.0891 0.02849 101 92 9 0
4411 Wow! It must be an advanced form of AI. 1.0891 0.03178 101 93 7 1
4412 Adamoid and Eveoid, ashamed. 1.0891 0.03178 101 93 7 1
4413 Sharper Image, Chess King, Marshall Fields. Recalibrate the machine. We landed in the '80s. 1.0889 0.03017 90 82 8 0
4414 We are lost! This is not our destination. 1.0889 0.03017 90 82 8 0
4415 How do they expect to find us when they don’t even know where they are? 1.0889 0.03405 90 83 6 1
4416 Ah, to Grand Mall. That’s where humans develop the disease ‘sticker shock.’ 1.0889 0.03017 90 82 8 0
4417 I think we need the Gap. 1.0889 0.03405 90 83 6 1
4418 Let’s just grab a coffee first and we’ll be as good as new. 1.0889 0.03017 90 82 8 0
4419 Do they really publish the submissions? 1.0889 0.03405 90 83 6 1
4420 They’re the leader in sneakers? Does that count? 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
4421 I told you there was no Apple Store at this mall! 1.0885 0.03219 113 105 6 2
4422 She said we could find Betelgeuse at Blockbuster 1.0885 0.02964 113 104 8 1
4423 They have the two big planets right, but how did they mess up the rest of their system so badly? 1.0882 0.02822 102 93 9 0
4424 Man, we'll never find their leader! 1.0882 0.03147 102 94 7 1
4425 Dang, Flingorl, we wanted the opposite end of the mall. Your coordinates stink! 1.0882 0.02822 102 93 9 0
4426 Completing the Kessel Run was more straightforward than this map. 1.0882 0.03442 102 95 5 2
4427 I'm in the mood for a Merle Norman makeover. 1.0882 0.03442 102 95 5 2
4428 This last clothing store didn’t have our style. What else is here? Maybe we need to travel to another! 1.0882 0.02822 102 93 9 0
4429 Someone will come get us...You'll See... 1.0879 0.03369 91 84 6 1
4430 Where do you think the gynecology unit is? 1.0879 0.03369 91 84 6 1
4431 Bummer, no Red Robin. 1.0879 0.02985 91 83 8 0
4432 What is "clothing"? These humanoids cover themselves? 1.0879 0.02985 91 83 8 0
4433 I find Earthling mall cops way too quick to judge. 1.0879 0.02985 91 83 8 0
4434 We stepped out for a watch, now we've to watch our step. 1.0879 0.02985 91 83 8 0
4435 Quick! We need a women’s clothing store for me and a men’s for you. 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
4436 They reverse engineered our neighborhood! 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
4437 Can we get shirts and shoes here ? 1.0874 0.02796 103 94 9 0
4438 So why didn’t we use the PO Box address for our Gap order delivery? We should have just booked the “clothing optional” planet for our vacation! 1.0874 0.02796 103 94 9 0
4439 Where's Sunglass Hut??? 1.0874 0.03118 103 95 7 1
4440 Did we land on an underdeveloped Abstract Art planet? 1.0870 0.02639 115 105 10 0
4441 Biden said there would be free food here. But he is known around the galaxy for lying on a monumental scale. Did you bring any money ? I don't even have clothes. 1.0870 0.03675 92 86 4 2
4442 I knew coming here was a bad idea years ago. Humans are hopeless. 1.0870 0.03334 92 85 6 1
4443 It’s depressing! They had nothing in my size. 1.0870 0.02954 92 84 8 0
4444 Did we get any recommendations for clothing stores? 1.0870 0.02914 115 106 8 1
4445 You sorted by nearest food court? 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
4446 Which strip mall window, did you say, is outfitting manikins? 1.0870 0.03334 92 85 6 1
4447 Where's the pretzel stand? I heard they're out of this world. 1.0870 0.03334 92 85 6 1
4448 I wanna pick some Jackie O's at the Sunglass Hut 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
4449 They merged our toilets¡! 1.0870 0.02954 92 84 8 0
4450 * “this is where they put the things for which they consume the planet.” 1.0870 0.02954 92 84 8 0
4451 Many of the inhabitants see the arrow pointing to the centre of their universe. 1.0865 0.03089 104 96 7 1
4452 I can't find where they sell Outerwear 1.0865 0.03089 104 96 7 1
4453 Can you find anything that says “our leader”? 1.0865 0.02770 104 95 9 0
4454 I didn't see anything that would look good on me. 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
4455 Is that your family genealogy chart or mine? 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
4456 ‘So which restroom do we use?’ 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
4457 Damn! No Victoria’s Secret! 1.0860 0.02923 93 85 8 0
4458 This galaxy is too complicated. Let's stay with Amazon! 1.0860 0.03299 93 86 6 1
4459 I'm never going back to that atore! It's like they delight in mis-gendering me. 1.0860 0.03299 93 86 6 1
4460 Does the "exit" sign point to Venus? 1.0860 0.02923 93 85 8 0
4461 I suggest that we first go to Old Navy! 1.0860 0.02923 93 85 8 0
4462 Sure you’ll remember where we parked. 1.0860 0.02923 93 85 8 0
4463 Not sure what I was expecting when I said “take us to your leader,” but it sure wasn’t this. 1.0860 0.03299 93 86 6 1
4464 Is this finally the map to the place called ‘Mordor’? The supreme leader says that’s where we will rule them all. 1.0860 0.02923 93 85 8 0
4465 Ok, straight to Thom McAn 1.0860 0.02923 93 85 8 0
4466 Excuse me, but we’re here to see a man about a horse. 1.0860 0.03299 93 86 6 1
4467 Miami? Whoopsy, I may have added an extra number or two to the coordinates on the stargate. 1.0860 0.03299 93 86 6 1
4468 What means C-L-O-T-H-I-N-G? 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
4469 Look for the gold record. It's the only thing I understand. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
4470 The only Earth Mall without a Cinnabon!?! 1.0857 0.03061 105 97 7 1
4471 Looks like we missed our mark by a few light years 1.0857 0.03061 105 97 7 1
4472 This is so ableist. 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
4473 Where does it say their leader is? 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
4474 Wow has this place changed! A fitness center, a church, and a self-storage place? Let's just hit up Spencer Gifts and head back home. Maybe we can stop by the skate park in the other wing. 1.0851 0.03598 94 88 4 2
4475 Our teleportation technology is useless against their ability to be in two places at once! 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
4476 Hope there’s a Brooks Brothers in here…….. 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
4477 First the clothing store, second the shoe store and then we can have lunch and meet the natives. 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
4478 Okay, we’re done storing our clothes. Now where do we put our jamba juice? 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
4479 X-13 said we have to try the Cinnabon! 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
4480 Where's can we find some underpants? 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
4481 I guess we better go online” ptio 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
4482 So they took the Hot Topic out if this mall too? 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
4483 we can take that wormhole to the food court 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
4484 This spaceship is more confusing than we thought 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
4485 Oh no Florg! Our SECRET Master Plan to take over. this planet is posted right here for ALL to see!!! 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
4486 Wait. What? This mall doesn’t have Victoria’s Secret? 1.0849 0.03316 106 99 5 2
4487 We need to find a place that sells instant casual. 1.0849 0.03316 106 99 5 2
4488 Finally get to get some clothes on this body. 1.0849 0.03033 106 98 7 1
4489 Do you think Macy’s has any human suits on sale? 1.0849 0.03316 106 99 5 2
4490 MD-AI-LR-LE...CTORY... their relativity map makes no sense, John. 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
4491 He said and I quote," trick or treat my ass ,it's May 1st" 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
4492 Where's Nike? They have fliers. Maybe we'll use them to go home. 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
4493 After navigating 19.3 parsecs to get here, I don’t see why you’d have a problem finding Sharper Image. 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
4494 ...but where is the VIctoria's Secret? 1.0843 0.03069 83 76 7 0
4495 They say the food court here is out of this world! 1.0843 0.03911 83 78 3 2
4496 i told you we should have brought the map 1.0842 0.02864 95 87 8 0
4497 Our intelligence told us to expect 40% off before the Holiday this year. 1.0842 0.02864 95 87 8 0
4498 I thought you said this would be packed with humans. 1.0842 0.02864 95 87 8 0
4499 Which way is the lingerie store? 1.0842 0.02864 95 87 8 0
4500 I thought we were on the 3rd planet from the sun in the Milky Way galaxy? 1.0842 0.02864 95 87 8 0
4501 Where’s the Trump section? 1.0842 0.03232 95 88 6 1
4502 Look under “L.” 1.0842 0.02864 95 87 8 0
4503 Ok what exactly is an Orange Julius. 1.0842 0.03232 95 88 6 1
4504 Where is the courtroom? 1.0842 0.03232 95 88 6 1
4505 I told you there was no clothing store in here! 1.0842 0.02864 95 87 8 0
4506 TCBY can’t possibly be as good as The Universe's Top Flan. 1.0842 0.02864 95 87 8 0
4507 I think we made a wrong turn just past Mars! 1.0842 0.03232 95 88 6 1
4508 It was easy to find this planet. But how do we find our way around this mall? 1.0842 0.02864 95 87 8 0
4509 Maybe their leader is at Macy’s. 1.0842 0.02864 95 87 8 0
4510 Spirit Halloween site selection committee, torn between Sears, KMart or Penny’s. 1.0841 0.03544 107 101 3 3
4511 We must be lost because I do not see anything about a leader on this directory. 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
4512 We came all this way and the ‘Hot Topic’ is closed? 1.0833 0.03199 96 89 6 1
4513 why are their leaders always unlisted? 1.0833 0.03199 96 89 6 1
4514 They said their leader is in the food court. 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
4515 Let’s go down the escalator, that store on the first floor has sale prices out of this world. 1.0833 0.03199 96 89 6 1
4516 Alien 1: I don’t know the sizing of the clothes on this planet. Alien 2: any size will be fine as long as I can cover my bare body! 1.0833 0.03474 84 78 5 1
4517 the restrooms here are overrated and the hamburger tastes like the mush on my belly button. (made by a nine year old) 1.0833 0.03474 84 78 5 1
4518 Starbucks!! I thought we were the only galaxy plagued by one everywhere! Here, but what dimension are we in? Where's Sears? We need that wrench for the continum drive. Where's the Toys Are Us where we could get littte Grodno some Lincoln Logs? 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
4519 Snag a wedding gown. Lemme grab diamonds. Will be out in a jiffy. 1.0833 0.03199 96 89 6 1
4520 I think that you pulled the 'time travel' lever instead of the 'space travel' lever. 1.0833 0.04311 72 68 2 2
4521 You are here. 1.0833 0.03199 96 89 6 1
4522 I can't find the Saucer Park. 1.0833 0.02978 108 100 7 1
4523 I told you we should have checked Orange Julius' opening times before leaving home. 1.0826 0.02952 109 101 7 1
4524 Well, we've traveled a million miles to get here. Let's see if we can find our way to the eyeglass shop. 1.0826 0.02648 109 100 9 0
4525 Apparently physical abuse is a commercial success. 1.0826 0.02648 109 100 9 0
4526 We've come all this way and Chess King is closed? 1.0826 0.02648 109 100 9 0
4527 Where’s the food court? Im starving from that lightyear long journey. 1.0826 0.03227 109 102 5 2
4528 I think we need to see an Eye Doctor. My lenses are killing me. 1.0825 0.02808 97 89 8 0
4529 We travel five million light years and now we have to find something called J.C. Penny? 1.0825 0.02808 97 89 8 0
4530 Finally our Alien Presence is out there 1.0825 0.03167 97 90 6 1
4531 We need an atm. The Starbucks is right there 1.0825 0.03167 97 90 6 1
4532 I don't think we are in New Jersey anymore. 1.0824 0.03821 85 80 3 2
4533 See is it shows the location of "their leader." 1.0824 0.03435 85 79 5 1
4534 I can’t believe there’s no Starbucks in this mall! 1.0824 0.02999 85 78 7 0
4535 That woman to your right is headed for our portal! 1.0824 0.02999 85 78 7 0
4536 Wait, did you enter the 19/97 degree latitude and longitude as the destination date? This mall has a ChiChi’s! 1.0824 0.02999 85 78 7 0
4537 How did we end up here? 1.0824 0.03435 85 79 5 1
4538 First stop is Williams Sonoma for some new probes… wait is a meat thermometer the same as a probe? 1.0824 0.02999 85 78 7 0
4539 We’re in luck. We’ll need a proper outfit if we want to pass among these earthlings. 1.0818 0.02625 110 101 9 0
4540 I don't think Chess King is still open here either. 1.0816 0.02780 98 90 8 0
4541 I’ve heard you can buy just about anything in these places 1.0816 0.03136 98 91 6 1
4542 I don't see "Alien Fashion"... 1.0816 0.03136 98 91 6 1
4543 I think we left our flying saucer in a handicap space. 1.0816 0.02780 98 90 8 0
4544 No, unlikely, we are invisible. 1.0816 0.03136 98 91 6 1
4545 Well, that was one quantum leap! 1.0816 0.02780 98 90 8 0
4546 Oh dear, Zarlax — we appear to have landed on a planet without an atmosphere. 1.0816 0.02780 98 90 8 0
4547 But most malls are dead aren't they? They will never notice us then. 1.0816 0.02780 98 90 8 0
4548 I told you to turn left at the Crab Nebula! 1.0814 0.03396 86 80 5 1
4549 With all these fast fashion opportunities surrounding us, we'll be blending in in no time. 1.0814 0.03396 86 80 5 1
4550 Take us to your lingerie. 1.0814 0.03396 86 80 5 1
4551 We are now in alien territory with everything so spaced out...let's find Johnny Rockets to get back home. 1.0814 0.03396 86 80 5 1
4552 I believe we made a right turn when we should have made left. 1.0814 0.02966 86 79 7 0
4553 It looks like a creepy ghost town. 1.0814 0.03396 86 80 5 1
4554 I think we should get into the clothing store changing rooms first, before the Sunglass Hut and Food Court. 1.0814 0.02966 86 79 7 0
4555 I’m not asking for directions, you said this would be easy. 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
4556 "They have no idea where they are." 1.0811 0.02603 111 102 9 0
4557 There's the arcade Pete, where did you hide that roll of quarters? 1.0811 0.03170 111 104 5 2
4558 Okay mzydklo, right off the bat. We are under dressed. 1.0811 0.02900 111 103 7 1
4559 I'm feeling a little underdress here. 1.0808 0.02753 99 91 8 0
4560 So far, I just think it’s tremendous 1.0808 0.02753 99 91 8 0
4561 This sure doesn't look like Kansas Toto. 1.0808 0.03105 99 92 6 1
4562 Does this mean I'm a psycho if I can't tell if this sign is a directory to find my way around the universe or the place the earthlings call ' The Mall'?" 1.0808 0.02753 99 91 8 0
4563 I thought you said all we had to do was say Take Me To Your Leader. I don't see "Your Leader" is here? 1.0808 0.02753 99 91 8 0
4564 You were right. There really is no one here. 1.0808 0.03105 99 92 6 1
4565 I fear we have landed in Flatland . . . 1.0808 0.02753 99 91 8 0
4566 I’ve heard the pretzels in the food court are out of this world. 1.0805 0.02933 87 80 7 0
4567 Alien Station: We'll get tickets home. They also serve food. 1.0805 0.02933 87 80 7 0
4568 Lost in space - in a shopping mall far far away. 1.0805 0.03358 87 81 5 1
4569 Where’s the arcade? We should finish our round of Space Invaders 1.0805 0.02933 87 80 7 0
4570 Navigating the unknown universe seems easier. I suppose you have to order clothes exclusively online on earth, that brick & mortar stores are passé. 1.0805 0.03358 87 81 5 1
4571 Where's the Sharper Image? 1.0805 0.02933 87 80 7 0
4572 Hmmm, but where is HERE? 1.0805 0.03358 87 81 5 1
4573 No Victoria’s Secret?! 1.0805 0.03358 87 81 5 1
4574 „What did you put into the sat nav?“ 1.0804 0.02875 112 104 7 1
4575 I can’t believe the Cybertruck doesn’t fly, what’s the point? 1.0804 0.02875 112 104 7 1
4576 Hey, AI is even taking over this mall! 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
4577 Men's or women's? 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
4578 I don’t see Sears. Chuck Kozub Chux143@aol.com Glen Burnie, MD 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
4579 But existential angst aside, where do they keep their leader? 1.0800 0.02727 100 92 8 0
4580 I TOLD you to just ask for directions! 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
4581 I told you we should have brought a materializer with us, but NO you insisted on traveling light. 1.0800 0.02727 100 92 8 0
4582 Everyone is staring at us. We must purchase clothing immediately or the humans are likely to try us at their ‘food court.’ 1.0800 0.02727 100 92 8 0
4583 This fashion…not fast enough. 1.0800 0.03075 100 93 6 1
4584 If we are here, we have gone way off course…and apparently so has this planet! 1.0800 0.02727 100 92 8 0
4585 I don’t see the White House on here. 1.0796 0.02558 113 104 9 0
4586 What floor is underwear? 1.0796 0.02558 113 104 9 0
4587 Clothes, clothes, clothes. And not a single raygun in sight. 1.0795 0.03321 88 82 5 1
4588 Why can’t they just take us? 1.0795 0.02901 88 81 7 0
4589 Ok ‘we are here’, but where is Best Buy? I have a Match.com date with someone on The Geek Squad during our layover. 1.0795 0.03321 88 82 5 1
4590 We came all this way and they don’t even have a Zara? 1.0795 0.02901 88 81 7 0
4591 I Thought You Said There Would Be Hundreds of People Here. 1.0792 0.02701 101 93 8 0
4592 Funny—it doesn't look like me. 1.0792 0.02701 101 93 8 0
4593 Whatever happened to "Take me to your leader"? 1.0792 0.03355 101 95 4 2
4594 What time does The Alien start? 1.0792 0.02701 101 93 8 0
4595 Yes, I know the Cheesecake Factory menu is overly complex. 1.0792 0.02701 101 93 8 0
4596 Hey, we checked out this Mall Directory before to see if they have any stores we’d like, there’s nothing. I don’t know why we keep trying to shop on this planet. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
4597 There is almost no one left to maul in the large boxy spaces. 1.0787 0.02870 89 82 7 0
4598 The cosmic microwave background radiation on this planet is so lifelike. 1.0787 0.03285 89 83 5 1
4599 This place is called a Fashion Centre, so there must be a store that sells Billie Eilish’s red carpet style. 1.0787 0.02870 89 82 7 0
4600 I'm just saying that of we get a Cinnabon now you won't be hangry when we get to the Lego store. 1.0787 0.02870 89 82 7 0
4601 If you've seen one shopping mall, you've seen them all. Conrad Bricker Pittsburgh, PA 1.0784 0.03016 102 95 6 1
4602 Can we not explore a destination with fewer vape shops? 1.0784 0.03323 102 96 4 2
4603 Let's try a Cinnabon! 1.0784 0.03016 102 95 6 1
4604 Perhaps we should stop at a clothing shop. 1.0783 0.02515 115 106 9 0
4605 So much easier to get lost here than in space. 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
4606 I told you we needed to go upstairs, it’s next to the Cheesecake Factory.. 1.0779 0.04036 77 73 2 2
4607 Before we plunder and pillage, can we find a clothing store? I'm freezing. 1.0778 0.03613 90 85 3 2
4608 We need a clothing store that's NOT fast fashion 1.0778 0.03249 90 84 5 1
4609 Hot Topic is our final destination” 1.0778 0.02839 90 83 7 0
4610 Lingerie? We need highly charged liquid fuel, not see-thru attire. 1.0778 0.03249 90 84 5 1
4611 That was a bust. Maybe we could at least try the shoe store? 1.0778 0.03249 90 84 5 1
4612 Morse code? 1.0778 0.02839 90 83 7 0
4613 Let’s go! I don’t see sunglasses hit on here anywhere. 1.0778 0.02839 90 83 7 0
4614 Where is the bathroom for aliens? 1.0778 0.03249 90 84 5 1
4615 Does that mean *we* are the probe? 1.0778 0.02839 90 83 7 0
4616 Darn, I don’t see KMart 1.0777 0.02650 103 95 8 0
4617 This kid called me Toto. He said we're not in Kansas anymore. 1.0777 0.02988 103 96 6 1
4618 Do you remember where we landed? 1.0776 0.02495 116 107 9 0
4619 I think we need to find the Alien Fisher clothes ASAP. 1.0776 0.02779 116 108 7 1
4620 Doesn't this remind you of the Andromeda Galaxy? I swear, we were lost there for at least 1000 years. 1.0769 0.03214 91 85 5 1
4621 It would appear that Earthlings are not taking care of their ghost population. She keeps ending up at the map, eternally repeating the same action over and over. 1.0769 0.03543 78 73 4 1
4622 Their astrography is more advanced than we feared! 1.0769 0.02809 91 84 7 0
4623 Banana Republic? We're not even in the same country anymore! 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
4624 Unidentified shopping subjects. 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
4625 When you said this plant was small I didn't realizes how small you really meant . 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
4626 What? No Orange Julius? 1.0769 0.02809 91 84 7 0
4627 This gives no help on the direction! 1.0769 0.02809 91 84 7 0
4628 You Are Here must be a big box store. 1.0769 0.03214 91 85 5 1
4629 I thought online shopping eliminated all the malls? 1.0769 0.03214 91 85 5 1
4630 What the flying saucers! We’ve come all this way and you said there would be shopping in San Francisco! 1.0769 0.02960 104 97 6 1
4631 You see the arrow, told you, they have been spying on us. 1.0769 0.02809 91 84 7 0
4632 I thought we were going to a different quadrant. 1.0763 0.02733 118 110 7 1
4633 Golf Galaxy?! We're supposed to be in the Andromeda Galaxy! 1.0763 0.02733 118 110 7 1
4634 So much for advanced interstellar technology — can someone just point us to the restroom? 🚽 1.0762 0.03230 105 99 4 2
4635 I was thinking, maybe what part of the universe? 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
4636 Does Nordstrom's sell flying saucers? 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
4637 I don’t see the sunglasses kiosk on the directory. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
4638 See? I told you. Free unlimited servings of sodas, water, tomato packets, napkins and sugar substitutes can be had at what they call a food court." 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
4639 Look! A map of the mall! We know this because we are not on earth, but our own planet where we look and act like many other members of our species. We also have shopping malls that communicate the location of the map you are looking at using written language. We do not call it "English," however. We actually call it "English 2," but that's just a highly improbable coincidence. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
4640 We've come 5 million light years, and wouldn't you know it, the food court's out of acai bowls. 1.0759 0.03499 79 74 4 1
4641 Sorry, they call this FUN?? 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
4642 We’ll never find our way home now. 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
4643 Do we always have to go to the Otherworld Store?' 1.0755 0.02906 106 99 6 1
4644 This org chart is a little confusing. I can’t figure out whether their leader is Macy or Walmart. 1.0753 0.02751 93 86 7 0
4645 Seriously? No Alien Fusion in the food court? 1.0753 0.02751 93 86 7 0
4646 This place is far out dude 1.0753 0.03147 93 87 5 1
4647 IT says “You are here” but we still don’t know where ‘here’ is! When is everyone going to finally go 4D with these stupid maps? 1.0753 0.03147 93 87 5 1
4648 Bed, Bath, and Beyond?!? I didn't know they had a franchise within the Kiuper belt! 1.0753 0.02751 93 86 7 0
4649 I told you so. There's no Tribblebun here. We're in the wrong galaxy. Again! 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
4650 We've survived the redshift to get here, but the Gruen transfer is going to kill me. 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
4651 Oh, I see the problem. We’re on the 4th floor. Alien Outfitters is in the 4th dimension. 1.0750 0.02415 120 111 9 0
4652 We better find some clothes before we go to the food court. 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
4653 I knew we should have turned left at GameStop. 1.0748 0.03171 107 101 4 2
4654 There's the food section, I'm starving forSpace Junk Food! 1.0745 0.02722 94 87 7 0
4655 Nothing? They had plenty of cows when this was farmland. 1.0745 0.02722 94 87 7 0
4656 But where do we get sunglasses? 1.0745 0.02722 94 87 7 0
4657 Maybe their leader is in the Food Court? 1.0745 0.02722 94 87 7 0
4658 Maybe we should ask for directions to their leader. 1.0745 0.02722 94 87 7 0
4659 I told you, most of the stuff we can get, but I'm pretty sure they don't sell those "Speak and Spell" toys anymore. 1.0745 0.03114 94 88 5 1
4660 Thank goodness there's a directory! Otherwise I would have never found "Hot Dog on a Stick" 1.0741 0.02853 108 101 6 1
4661 I thought you said they had an Area 51 here? Nothing but earring shops. 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
4662 I told you not to turn left at Venus.” 1.0741 0.03415 81 76 4 1
4663 Oh, great. They don't have a Forever 21. 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
4664 I already checked. There aren't any cows on the carousel. 1.0737 0.03082 95 89 5 1
4665 Do you think Gucci shoes will it me? 1.0737 0.02695 95 88 7 0
4666 Maybe Auntie Anne is their leader? 1.0737 0.02695 95 88 7 0
4667 Do you see a shoe store that would have a size ZzXWK 1.0737 0.03082 95 89 5 1
4668 I'm looking....I don't see any thing listed for Captain Kirk's Enterprise . 1.0737 0.03082 95 89 5 1
4669 Mall? Mall?...We were trying to reach Amazon. 1.0737 0.03082 95 89 5 1
4670 I don’t get it. Is this what they mean by 2D? 1.0732 0.03374 82 77 4 1
4671 Take me to your deals 1.0732 0.03374 82 77 4 1
4672 Can you figure out where the TGI Fridays is? 1.0729 0.02668 96 89 7 0
4673 Do you think I can find a store to exchange my sweater? 1.0729 0.02668 96 89 7 0
4674 Maybe we've been eaten by an Earthling . . . 1.0729 0.03051 96 90 5 1
4675 Their leader must be by the Cinnabon 1.0727 0.02803 110 103 6 1
4676 these people have No idea of exit signs they will be receiving... . 1.0727 0.02803 110 103 6 1
4677 Maybe if we head to a designer store, we could pass as sunglass models.” - Jay Houseworth-Barba, Bainbridge Island W 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
4678 Bug-eye store … Level 3. 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
4679 I don't know what any of this mean 1.0723 0.03334 83 78 4 1
4680 What the heck, no Spencer's? 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
4681 Who's ghosting who? 1.0723 0.03334 83 78 4 1
4682 I feel so naked with all these clothing store around me. 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
4683 Great, another map, think you can handle this one? Cause the last one you followed took us 7 light years to find this Mall! 1.0723 0.03334 83 78 4 1
4684 Would you like to see my impression of Jeremy Irons doing his impression of Claus von Bülow doing his impression of Queen Victoria? 1.0722 0.02641 97 90 7 0
4685 I'm not familiar with that dialect. 1.0722 0.02641 97 90 7 0
4686 We made it from Mars no problem but we can’t even figure out where the bathroom is here 1.0722 0.02641 97 90 7 0
4687 Oooh…I hope they have those massage chairs that the Reptilians are always carrying on about. 1.0722 0.02641 97 90 7 0
4688 All your marketplace are belong to us 1.0722 0.02641 97 90 7 0
4689 Shoot! I forgot to right down where we parked the spaceship. 1.0721 0.02778 111 104 6 1
4690 I told you to remember where we parked the spaceship. 1.0714 0.03295 84 79 4 1
4691 Great. Now where the hell is the DMV? 1.0714 0.02990 98 92 5 1
4692 Teaneck, really Teaneck? its Magellanic you idiot, my mother lives in Magellanic! 1.0714 0.02827 84 78 6 0
4693 I wish the Sunglass Hut was closer to Mars. 1.0714 0.03295 84 79 4 1
4694 Where are the antibiotics? 1.0714 0.03295 84 79 4 1
4695 Which level is Bed, Bath, and Beyond Area 51? 1.0714 0.03709 70 66 3 1
4696 Only 3 Wetzel’s Pretzels. Crazy. 1.0714 0.02990 98 92 5 1
4697 I’d better stay at home and watch Alienist on Netflix 1.0714 0.02615 98 91 7 0
4698 This place is practically deserted, oh look a ‘cloud store’!!!!! contest 1.0714 0.03295 84 79 4 1
4699 I Believe….George Noory’s office is here, somewhere! 1.0714 0.02990 98 92 5 1
4700 Dammit, No Alien clothing store! 1.0707 0.02589 99 92 7 0
4701 This may be close encounters of a mercenary kind! 1.0707 0.02961 99 93 5 1
4702 Oh man... What happened here, Xyntzx? This place was way cooler in the Twentieth Century. 1.0707 0.02961 99 93 5 1
4703 The Gap is basic. 1.0707 0.02961 99 93 5 1
4704 I feel like I’m getting probed back, you know? 1.0707 0.02589 99 92 7 0
4705 They didn't teach us this in interplanetary pilot school! 1.0706 0.03257 85 80 4 1
4706 This is not the sort of map I had in mind. 1.0706 0.02795 85 79 6 0
4707 Hey, look, they have a pagoda where we can make piercing sounds. They've thought of everything! 1.0706 0.03257 85 80 4 1
4708 This is the church where they pray that their credit cards will take them. 1.0706 0.03257 85 80 4 1
4709 We picked the one mall without a Panda Express!? 1.0706 0.03257 85 80 4 1
4710 I really think malls are finished. I don’t recognize ANY of these clothing stores. 1.0706 0.03257 85 80 4 1
4711 You were supposed to press the planet button, not the mall button, now we have to figure out how to get out of here. 1.0706 0.03257 85 80 4 1
4712 What do you mean there's no Cheesecake Factory?! 1.0702 0.02707 114 107 6 1
4713 ET go home? 1.0702 0.02403 114 106 8 0
4714 I am freezing after our intergalactic space travel and I could use a cup of hot coffee. See if there is a Starbucks in this mall. 1.0700 0.02932 100 94 5 1
4715 Clothing is neither here nor there! So what? 1.0700 0.02564 100 93 7 0
4716 With them, the center of Everything is always the Portly Boys Dept. 1.0700 0.02932 100 94 5 1
4717 It’s easier to find a new ring galaxy. 1.0700 0.02564 100 93 7 0
4718 Linda said to meet her at Nordstroms - these gray jumpsuits need an update. 1.0698 0.02763 86 80 6 0
4719 I can't find the Cinnabon...and I thought Earth was hard to find 1.0698 0.02763 86 80 6 0
4720 I had a deep-space hibernation dream like this once. 1.0698 0.02763 86 80 6 0
4721 I thought I told you to keep track of the Napoleon clone! 1.0698 0.03220 86 81 4 1
4722 Did you write this? 1.0698 0.02763 86 80 6 0
4723 Test 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
4724 I heard the architect is from another planet 1.0693 0.02540 101 94 7 0
4725 The Maul room is down the hall. 1.0693 0.02904 101 95 5 1
4726 It looks like we're in planet Sephora. 1.0690 0.03184 87 82 4 1
4727 All these graphics and I still can't find where we parked. 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
4728 Which store sells best petites? 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
4729 Hasten! There is a sale at Forever Area 51! 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
4730 Looks like the Alien Clothing Shop must have moved. 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
4731 What? No Spencer's? 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
4732 What! No Claire's at this mall... 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
4733 Xpyletsa 'clothes'" 1.0690 0.03184 87 82 4 1
4734 I told you we parked the mothership on P3. 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
4735 Oh no, I don’t see an Automatic Credits Machine on the map, do you? 1.0690 0.03184 87 82 4 1
4736 I was hoping for a larger scale map 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
4737 Wait, where are the pretzels? 1.0690 0.03184 87 82 4 1
4738 This snap is so confusing. It looks like it was created by aliens. 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
4739 You hit Gap, I’ll do Anthropologie, and we’ll rendezvous at Banana Republic. 1.0686 0.02516 102 95 7 0
4740 We were there but now we are here. See how advances we are compared to these people, darling. They are still looking for themselves. Such a pity 1.0686 0.02516 102 95 7 0
4741 Looks like the food court is far far away ... 1.0686 0.02516 102 95 7 0
4742 What planet is Entrance 7 Lower Level parking deck next to Nordstrom? 1.0686 0.02876 102 96 5 1
4743 Seems like a rather overly simplified depiction of the planet, doesn't it? 1.0686 0.02516 102 95 7 0
4744 Doesn't look like a teleporter to me. How far behind are they?! 1.0682 0.02702 88 82 6 0
4745 The last time we visited, mall babes ate chili fries. Now the viscos are doing bubble tea. 1.0682 0.03149 88 83 4 1
4746 I guess a mall directory is helpful whether you walk or teleport.” “Oh, look! R2D2! 1.0682 0.03539 88 84 2 2
4747 Gee how many more Planet Fitnesses before you'll admit you misheard the guy? 1.0682 0.03149 88 83 4 1
4748 The New Alien Town 1.0680 0.02848 103 97 5 1
4749 I'm not seeing Spaceport 1.0680 0.03165 103 98 3 2
4750 ZORGON, I TOLD YOU TO TAKE A RIGHT AT ANDROMEDA AND A LEFT AT ALPHA CENTAURI, BUT NO YOU HAD TO DO IT YOUR WAY. SINCE WE’RE HERE LET’S GO ASK YOUR COUSIN ELON FOR DIRECTIONS.” 1.0678 0.02617 118 111 6 1
4751 You should have just asked that asked that guy for directions to Beta-357. 1.0674 0.02673 89 83 6 0
4752 When does our movie start? And do you have your ID? 1.0674 0.03114 89 84 4 1
4753 They turn the air conditioner way up so people will buy winter clothes. 1.0674 0.02673 89 83 6 0
4754 Wait, what? This doesn’t look right! Which wrong turn did we make to get to THIS solar system? 1.0674 0.03114 89 84 4 1
4755 Where's the store that sells jeans that'll make my butt look good?" 1.0674 0.02673 89 83 6 0
4756 Aarg…Reminds me of when we used google maps trying to get to Pluto. 1.0674 0.02673 89 83 6 0
4757 What do they sell at "Community College"? 1.0674 0.02673 89 83 6 0
4758 Where did the triangles go, Charlotte ? 1.0674 0.03114 89 84 4 1
4759 I told you and told you to turn left and left again. 1.0674 0.02673 89 83 6 0
4760 I said Planet Mall, not Mall Planet!" 1.0674 0.02673 89 83 6 0
4761 Dude, they’re more advanced than I thought. They can appear in two places at once. 1.0674 0.03500 89 85 2 2
4762 If we had got here 8 years ago Mallwave would have still been a Thing. But you just had to get into Hardvapour didn’t you. You absolute melt. 1.0674 0.03114 89 84 4 1
4763 What are those strange lights up above? 1.0674 0.03500 89 85 2 2
4764 Bag lady 1.0673 0.02822 104 98 5 1
4765 Take me to your lender. 1.0673 0.03135 104 99 3 2
4766 They certainly know how to tell us to do something physically impossible. 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
4767 Well if their leader isn’t at White House / Black Market, at least we can get some clothes? 1.0667 0.02795 105 99 5 1
4768 I do not wish to alarm you NeepNop, but we may not have adequate time for our scheduled visit to the Macy’s if you do not find it with haste on this primitive earthling map. For there is a large group of, I believe the humanoid creatures call them Coppers, approaching our coordinates as we presently discuss our situation. I implore you, please do accelerate your search, I require a new Moisture-Wicking polo. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
4769 Oh cool, they have space ice cream. 1.0661 0.02268 121 113 8 0
4770 This will be the fourth time we´ve tried finding the Sears store! 1.0660 0.02424 106 99 7 0
4771 But WHERE is their LEADER??? 1.0659 0.03047 91 86 4 1
4772 So wrong you are. So wrong you are. 1.0659 0.03047 91 86 4 1
4773 Our mission can be summed up in two words: Abercrombie and Fitch. 1.0659 0.02616 91 85 6 0
4774 The travel agent said there’d be cowboys and Indians. 1.0659 0.02616 91 85 6 0
4775 You go abduct me something from the food court. I’ll probe downstairs. 1.0659 0.02616 91 85 6 0
4776 When did humans stop being free? 1.0659 0.03424 91 87 2 2
4777 Navigating the galaxy was easier than understanding this mall map. 1.0659 0.02616 91 85 6 0
4778 XXXpit-me??? I can't believe a random accidental wormhole made our galaxy fit in here... 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
4779 We traveled all the way here for this? 1.0654 0.02402 107 100 7 0
4780 I don't know what this means? I think I understand the food court. But what do all of the other things mean? 1.0654 0.02402 107 100 7 0
4781 Wait. Does this underwear stuff go under or over our wear? 1.0652 0.03015 92 87 4 1
4782 Did you bring our Spencer's credit card? 1.0652 0.02588 92 86 6 0
4783 If we couldn't find any livestock in the food court, what makes you think we would find it in menswear? 1.0652 0.02588 92 86 6 0
4784 "Levi or Gucci?" 1.0652 0.02588 92 86 6 0
4785 Nobody has been going to the mall they had to import Aliens 👽 1.0652 0.02588 92 86 6 0
4786 I hope there's a Chico's here 1.0652 0.02588 92 86 6 0
4787 Well, here we are indeed...should've listen to my directions four galaxies ago and you wouldn't be asking "why" 1.0645 0.02561 93 87 6 0
4788 Please don't try to be macho, just use the 'galaxy-quest'! 1.0645 0.02561 93 87 6 0
4789 There it is—WHITE HOUSE/BLACK MARKET. 1.0645 0.02561 93 87 6 0
4790 Find the nearest coat rack and surrender. The air conditioning is simply too strong. 1.0645 0.02561 93 87 6 0
4791 Humans can't just "blink" and be where they want like we can." 1.0645 0.02983 93 88 4 1
4792 I don't know why we have been taken here, we asked to be taken to their leader 1.0645 0.02561 93 87 6 0
4793 I guess they closed the Halloween Store early this year. 1.0642 0.02359 109 102 7 0
4794 Three trillion miles and we missed the Mother's Day Sale! 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
4795 Spencer Gifts has those Potty Pot Shots nobody ever actually tries. 1.0641 0.03335 78 74 3 1
4796 Have you got a credit card on you, dear? I left mine at home. 1.0638 0.02952 94 89 4 1
4797 It’s not that I can’t find the shop but the prices are light years away from what I can get the same stuff for back home 1.0636 0.02338 110 103 7 0
4798 I believe that’s what humans call a “tautology,” but it sure doesn’t help me find the space-suit shop! 1.0632 0.02509 95 89 6 0
4799 Bro, you reckon dey's ignorin' us cuz we's black? 1.0632 0.03282 95 91 2 2
4800 Macy's, Sears, Penneys, all, GONE! Ah wait, here's the Alien One Stop shopping, third floor, Roof Top location! We're in luck, hurry, before THEY'RE GONE too! 1.0632 0.02509 95 89 6 0
4801 .... and you said we did not need GPS to find our way on Earth because our Alien Positioning Satellite (APS) would work 1.0632 0.02921 95 90 4 1
4802 If that's supposed to be the floor plan of the command ship, they're way off. 1.0632 0.02921 95 90 4 1
4803 To think our entire civilization arose here and we never shopped even once... 1.0632 0.02509 95 89 6 0
4804 With a nose ring, tattoos, and wayfarers on, we might pass... 1.0631 0.02941 111 106 3 2
4805 Fine, but what planet is this? 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
4806 It was our inter-gallactic directory that got us here. 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
4807 Think there is an alien dress code? 1.0625 0.02483 96 90 6 0
4808 We travelled 20,000 light years for an analog chess clock and now you tell me that you did not call to see if it is in stock. 1.0625 0.02483 96 90 6 0
4809 Oh for goodness sake make up your mind I'm freezing to death here, what's it going to be, unisex, boutique or outdoor living. The last thing people are going to notice is how we are dressed. 1.0625 0.02891 96 91 4 1
4810 You can navigate through a galaxy, but can't bridge the Gap between us, can you? 1.0625 0.03249 96 92 2 2
4811 This whole place is a food court. 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
4812 Isn’t there someone I can ask to take me to their leader? 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
4813 They don’t even have a Glip and Glorp here?” “Where am I supposed to get my Glip and Glorp? 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
4814 We should get this it's an overview like Nazca! 1.0625 0.02891 96 91 4 1
4815 In a recent comics issue, you were depicted wearing blue and I was in pink. 1.0619 0.02459 97 91 6 0
4816 I told you giving them the internet would ruin our food court excursions 1.0619 0.02862 97 92 4 1
4817 Buy two get one free…the universe really is full of endless possibilities 1.0619 0.02862 97 92 4 1
4818 Im not seeing the Washington Monument on here 1.0619 0.02862 97 92 4 1
4819 Remember when..... 1.0617 0.02691 81 76 5 0
4820 Must we REALLY cross The Universe for Starbucks?!?" 1.0617 0.03213 81 77 3 1
4821 I'm telling you I put in the coordinates for EARTH, but I have no idea where HERE is located. 1.0617 0.02691 81 76 5 0
4822 Why are we here? They never have my size in stock. 1.0617 0.03213 81 77 3 1
4823 So, Splork - I told you that there won’t be a flux capacitor outlet here 1.0612 0.02834 98 93 4 1
4824 Let's check out what the sell in a clothing store. 1.0612 0.02434 98 92 6 0
4825 With a HOT TOPIC and a SPENCERS, I think we will blend right in here 1.0612 0.02434 98 92 6 0
4826 We are interested in applying for profession positions at A.I. marketing companies." Ed Sherida 1.0610 0.03175 82 78 3 1
4827 Looking for a deep fried Mars Bar? 1.0606 0.02410 99 93 6 0
4828 There’s no way I was letting you get that outfit, it made you look like a hick. 1.0606 0.02410 99 93 6 0
4829 I can't detect a brain, but it's never wrong." 1.0606 0.02806 99 94 4 1
4830 I’d rather die than wear Gucci . 1.0602 0.03137 83 79 3 1
4831 I don't see any "Cloaks of Invisibility" store. Let's try another planet! 1.0602 0.02628 83 78 5 0
4832 Quick, find the nearest clothing store. Then we are in business. 1.0602 0.02628 83 78 5 0
4833 All I wanted was for them to take to their leader. 1.0600 0.02387 100 94 6 0
4834 You get the sunglasses, I'll get the neckties and we will meet at the Halloween party store. 1.0600 0.03120 100 96 2 2
4835 Abercrombie models after disclosure 1.0600 0.02387 100 94 6 0
4836 I told you we should have turned left at Venus. 1.0600 0.02387 100 94 6 0
4837 ….but it’s out there! 1.0595 0.02597 84 79 5 0
4838 Dude I told you we should have taken a left at Mars. Why don’t you ever ask for directions? 1.0595 0.02597 84 79 5 0
4839 I think the challenge is to do this in as little time as possible. 1.0595 0.03101 84 80 3 1
4840 Is everything gamified here? 1.0594 0.02364 101 95 6 0
4841 How could these primitive beings have possibly come up with the bahfreliger? 1.0594 0.02364 101 95 6 0
4842 I've no idea where the food court is, Deirdre. The people who design these directories must be from another planet or something. 1.0588 0.02724 102 97 4 1
4843 Two Koreans at a Slovakian department store. 1.0588 0.02341 102 96 6 0
4844 We came all this way, and they don't have a Spencer's Gifts! 1.0588 0.02567 85 80 5 0
4845 I KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE, BUT WHICH PLANET IS THIS? 1.0588 0.02567 85 80 5 0
4846 Which way to your leader? 1.0588 0.02341 102 96 6 0
4847 My turn? I say we get a couple big, chewy pretzels with cheese sauce. 1.0583 0.02319 103 97 6 0
4848 Personally, I prefer Banana Republic. 1.0583 0.02319 103 97 6 0
4849 No, getting rid of the Orange Julius was Plan Ten. 1.0583 0.02699 103 98 4 1
4850 Recalibrate the navigation system — it misheard our destination as the Bass Pro Shops. 1.0583 0.02319 103 97 6 0
4851 I think the Brandy Melville shirts will fit us. 1.0583 0.02319 103 97 6 0
4852 But I thought there were supposed to be theaters here where we could watch 'Rebel Moon' and 'Asteroid City!' 1.0581 0.02538 86 81 5 0
4853 They didn't warn us about this kind of Galaxy. 1.0581 0.03452 86 83 1 2
4854 me too, i told you our salad had apple in it 1.0581 0.02538 86 81 5 0
4855 I understand this to be a place of personal enlightenment. Some stop, often haggard or frantic, to find themselves and restore inner peace. 1.0575 0.02510 87 82 5 0
4856 This was a bad idea. Let's wait for the next comic con to get a Cinnabon 1.0575 0.02510 87 82 5 0
4857 we need a couple of those carriers of objects or else we'll stick out . Look, they're already signaling our presence. Did you bring the square piece of plastic? They become friendly when you hand it to them. 1.0575 0.02510 87 82 5 0
4858 The Earthlings have a knack of stating the bleedin' obvious. A bit understated for the first contact with an alien species... 1.0575 0.02510 87 82 5 0
4859 So, where's that shopping mall? 1.0571 0.02648 105 100 4 1
4860 No guide dogs to greet us? Incredible! 1.0568 0.02962 88 84 3 1
4861 The eighth wonder of the world. And when they finally get out, there’ll be tears in the carpark for the lost saucer. 1.0568 0.02482 88 83 5 0
4862 This is a very effective tactic to slow down our take over. 1.0566 0.02255 106 100 6 0
4863 OK, I found it. Groins R Us. 1.0562 0.02929 89 85 3 1
4864 Will our arms grow almost twice as long if we go through this portal? 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
4865 Oh honey, remember when I bought you at Spencer's?" 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
4866 What? Not a single clothing store? 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
4867 Looks like the little green restrooms are next to the Hot Topic. 1.0556 0.02214 108 102 6 0
4868 No Sharper Image! I think those bots on the dating site may have been lying to us. 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
4869 Meet back at Boscov's at 2pm 1.0556 0.02897 90 86 3 1
4870 Last time we abducted them in pairs here this was a vacant lovers lane car spot , it was easy , they are over devoloping now so lets report this and avoid capture. 1.0549 0.02866 91 87 3 1
4871 For us, I understand. But them too? 1.0549 0.02402 91 86 5 0
4872 I don't know what's the cheapest. I just know we definitely need pants. 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
4873 I was sure this mall had a Halloween costume store. 1.0543 0.02376 92 87 5 0
4874 There doesn’t seem to be a Traveler’s Aid booth here. I thought they were everywhere. 1.0543 0.02376 92 87 5 0
4875 What's a clothes store? 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
4876 Let’s be rational , Abduction is our Mission , ….. Apparently Bloomingdales Lady’s shoe department is 30% off ….. 1.0541 0.02507 111 106 4 1
4877 ..."buck naked in the Mall." 1.0538 0.02352 93 88 5 0
4878 Is there any place more alien than a shopping mall? 1.0538 0.02352 93 88 5 0
4879 At the butcher, they had frozen and sawn up their loss leader. I guess that they have no pity for someone who loses. 1.0538 0.02805 93 89 3 1
4880 It looks like there is a Chick Filet in the food court. 1.0538 0.02352 93 88 5 0
4881 See? They have discovered multidimensional travel, and they don’t even know it. 1.0533 0.02612 75 71 4 0
4882 Daft Punk lost in supermarket 1.0533 0.02612 75 71 4 0
4883 Why is everyone so hostile about locating a Space Invaders game? 1.0532 0.02775 94 90 3 1
4884 ‘Take me to the mechanical bull. I hear this is where their finest minds gather.’ 1.0532 0.02327 94 89 5 0
4885 Looks like we're near Zargon, we'll destroy it like all the others. 1.0526 0.02303 95 90 5 0
4886 Look, White House and Black Market are together! 1.0526 0.02303 95 90 5 0
4887 Of course we're her. But where is Chess King? 1.0521 0.02280 96 91 5 0
4888 I feel like Ziggy, as we're here for no particular reason. 1.0521 0.02718 96 92 3 1
4889 Do you think Bath and Body Works is having a sale? 1.0521 0.02280 96 91 5 0
4890 Ugh, I can't believe we travelled 20 light-years just so you could get your Kernels fix. 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
4891 But where's Victoria's Secret? 1.0519 0.03146 77 74 2 1
4892 There is no Cinnabon! Have we landed on the wrong planet? 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
4893 We found earth but just try to find hot topic on this map... 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
4894 I thought you said there was a Cinnabon on this planet! 1.0515 0.02257 97 92 5 0
4895 Get a move on, the parking is about to expire! 1.0513 0.02514 78 74 4 0
4896 Forget our plans about planetary domination, Let’s get a Cinnabon. 1.0513 0.02514 78 74 4 0
4897 I wish our intergalactic navigators had been programmed to understand this highly complex indications 1.0510 0.02234 98 93 5 0
4898 I think we missed Orange Julius by a few light years." 1.0508 0.02031 118 112 6 0
4899 Is this where the earthlings recreate?! 1.0506 0.03067 79 76 2 1
4900 Wow, this is even more advance than our spaceship!” “Your right, we should take notes on the smartness of these people 1.0500 0.02190 100 95 5 0
4901 There’s no Cinnabon? Let’s fly back home! 1.0495 0.02169 101 96 5 0
4902 It’s cold in here. Maybe we could get sweaters at the Gap. 1.0494 0.02422 81 77 4 0
4903 We couldn't find the UFO transmitter but there's always Panda Express 1.0488 0.02393 82 78 4 0
4904 Lenny, I told the promotion manager this idea would never work." 1.0485 0.02536 103 99 3 1
4905 They're recasting The Naked City > HERE ?? 1.0482 0.02921 83 80 2 1
4906 Wow! So many shops selling clothes and we can't find any where we came from. 1.0481 0.02108 104 99 5 0
4907 I told you, underwear is over on that side!! 1.0476 0.02088 105 100 5 0
4908 So many clothes shops. Advanced civilizations do away with clothes altogether. I’m cold. Are you cold? 1.0476 0.02338 84 80 4 0
4909 This species, I swear. Strangest time maps I've ever seen. 1.0476 0.02338 84 80 4 0
4910 Where's the store that sells Alien Tape? 1.0476 0.02088 105 100 5 0
4911 The golden plate they sent was somehow more straightforward than this one here… 1.0476 0.02338 84 80 4 0
4912 I thought you said "Starbucks" was in the Milky-Way Galaxy? 1.0471 0.02311 85 81 4 0
4913 Restrooms. Dressing rooms. Food Court ... where do you suppose our fearless leader might have left the ship ? 1.0471 0.02311 85 81 4 0
4914 Here is the City I was born naked and broke on the moon. Lets try another Mall Directory. 1.0465 0.02284 86 82 4 0
4915 I told you we should have waited until we got home. 1.0463 0.02031 108 103 5 0
4916 Which one of these mathematical objects sells costumes? 1.0460 0.02258 87 83 4 0
4917 What? Where's the apocalyptic laser turret ,and what about the galaxy destroying photon missile? 1.0459 0.02398 109 105 3 1
4918 Why do they have my colonoscopy x-ray posted in this shopping center? 1.0444 0.03125 90 88 0 2
4919 Sorry is that store just called "Clothes?". That does it, we're leaving this planet. 1.0444 0.02184 90 86 4 0
4920 You told me you knew where we were and didn’t need to ask for directions! 1.0444 0.02184 90 86 4 0
4921 This mall is out of this world!” @official_we 1.0444 0.02184 90 86 4 0
4922 I bet their Leader is in the food court 1.0435 0.02138 92 88 4 0
4923 Now, where is the Food Court? And yes, I'll need a Tie 1.0430 0.02115 93 89 4 0
4924 Oh look, it says "extra dress trial!" 1.0430 0.02115 93 89 4 0
4925 Let’s swap out our beam for that escalator! 1.0426 0.02093 94 90 4 0
4926 Why are you pretending we’re not going to Spencers? yeah 1.0426 0.02093 94 90 4 0
4927 q'tchy lepto, McDonald's? 1.0421 0.02071 95 91 4 0
4928 Not what I expected when we arrived here. 1.0417 0.02050 96 92 4 0
4929 Let's skip Ralph Lauren and go straight to the food hall. 1.0412 0.02029 97 93 4 0
4930 We’ve been to everywhere on this weird map, but we can’t find clothes that are out of this world. 1.0400 0.01969 100 96 4 0
4931 Maybe “Hot Topic” will have some inconspicuous disguises… 1.0396 0.01950 101 97 4 0
4932 Hot Topic and Spencer’s. We’ll fit right in. 1.0395 0.02248 76 73 3 0
4933 The manager promised we'd make a fortune as this year's special holiday gift at "Hammacher Schlemmer"! 1.0392 0.01931 102 98 4 0
4934 I forgot the coupons for the movie. Don’t worry. It’s alien. Nobody will notice. 1.0390 0.02220 77 74 3 0
4935 When they don’t ship to your home address. 1.0380 0.02164 79 76 3 0
4936 Sorry, they must have gone bankrupt! 1.0380 0.02164 79 76 3 0
4937 It says we have to cover ourselves if we want to go to the clothing store. 1.0375 0.02137 80 77 3 0
4938 Where do you think the Auntie Anne's is?" 1.0375 0.02137 80 77 3 0
4939 You should have just parked on top of Dillard's. 1.0366 0.02086 82 79 3 0
4940 I can see the Phone and Home departments but where's the E.T. department? 1.0366 0.02086 82 79 3 0
4941 Ugh! I told you there’s no In and Out burger here! 1.0357 0.01761 112 108 4 0
4942 This is apparently what "take me to your leader" means in America. 1.0349 0.01990 86 83 3 0
4943 There is no listing for Leader. Should we try another spelling?” John Schantz, Nazareth, P 1.0341 0.01945 88 85 3 0
4944 oh, oh, We didn't bring our socio-economic development advisor. We should NOT "be here". 1.0333 0.01903 90 87 3 0
4945 The film "Invaders", it was made in the late 50s, was shown in the Grand Royal Cinema in 1958. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia 1.0319 0.01823 94 91 3 0
4946 We def8nitely parked on the roof. Let's juat go up and see if we cam aee it. 1.0316 0.01804 95 92 3 0
4947 I'd rather navigate to some other planet! 1.0312 0.01785 96 93 3 0
4948 Where is GAPUFO’s? We need some earthling clothes. 1.0303 0.02126 66 64 2 0
4949 Let's stop by the Cinnabon on our way back 1.0256 0.01801 78 76 2 0
4950 We need to go back to the food court and then take the escalator up to the multiverse. 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
4951 What happened to the humans did they fly away to outer space This mall is deserted with empty stores I heard from my news app that our relatives AI is taking over the world 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
4952 Area 51's gotta be somewhere on here, right? I heard thats a popular place with humans. 1.0233 0.01635 86 84 2 0
4953 Looks like we took a wrong turn at the Hubble Deep Field 1.0233 0.01635 86 84 2 0
4954 Post-modern just doesn't do it for me. 1.0222 0.01562 90 88 2 0
4955 How was I supposed to know they covered themselves up. Let's find Macy's. I suddenly feel so naked!" 1.0208 0.01465 96 94 2 0
4956 No, they wanted us to teleport the giveaway car in over by the Macy’s. 1.0206 0.02062 97 96 0 1
4957 The cinema is still here, but they aren’t playing movies starring any of our relatives.” Robert Van Brocklin, Portland, Ore. 1.0122 0.01227 82 81 1 0