Contest #888


Cartoon

888


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started -
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued -
Number of captions 4534
Number of responses 672907
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 You know, it's gonna itch like hell when it grows back. 1.6441 0.02263 1065 547 350 168
1 Gesundheit! 1.6275 0.01396 3154 1775 779 600
2 Did I get rid of your hiccups? 1.6178 0.01896 1583 868 452 263
3 With all due respect, you look like a pickle. 1.6130 0.01818 1708 940 489 279
4 Helluva sneeze, Merv. 1.6104 0.01722 1971 1109 521 341
5 I don’t think that’s what she meant when she said she doesn’t like pricks. 1.5989 0.02250 1234 732 265 237
6 It’s called cactile dysfunction. It can happen to any of us 1.5965 0.01806 1876 1105 423 348
7 I didn’t say go PLUCK yourself, Val. 1.5916 0.02320 1124 663 257 204
8 You’re just not as sharp as you used to be. 1.5914 0.02021 1373 780 374 219
9 That's much more attractive than a comb-over, trust me. 1.5840 0.02255 1024 568 314 142
10 You're still a succulent, and no one can ever take that away from you. 1.5781 0.02286 1012 571 297 144
11 Dude, that was Nair, not Coppertone! 1.5766 0.01936 1495 869 390 236
12 That's why you don't plug your nose before a sneeze. 1.5736 0.01919 1461 837 410 214
13 I don't think you are in the placebo group. 1.5731 0.01552 2420 1442 569 409
14 Look on the bright side, now you can play with balloons. 1.5636 0.01698 1824 1051 518 255
15 It's called succulent pattern baldness. 1.5519 0.01790 1696 1011 434 251
16 On the plus side, it makes you look slimmer. 1.5511 0.01744 1575 889 504 182
17 Jesus, Frank. It’s not Brazil. 1.5464 0.01932 1510 923 349 238
18 Shed happens, man. 1.5436 0.02383 905 533 252 120
19 I thought we agreed we weren’t going to get the *full* Brazilian 1.5420 0.02106 1214 732 306 176
20 Get dressed! Tourists are parking. 1.5377 0.01750 1633 960 468 205
21 Gazuntite 1.5310 0.02388 936 572 231 133
22 It's not called streaking unless you can run. 1.5299 0.02023 1306 800 320 186
23 That was a hell of a sneeze. 1.5293 0.01639 1893 1136 512 245
24 Now that you're spineless,you can run as a Republican for the US Senate. 1.5283 0.01810 1929 1279 281 369
25 You’re 100 years old. What did you expect? 1.5277 0.01988 1209 709 362 138
26 Now that you're spineless, you should consider running for public office. 1.5273 0.01790 1830 1173 349 308
27 This prickly heat is a killer. 1.5247 0.01864 1820 1213 259 348
28 I wouldn’t worry too much. The trees do it all the time. 1.5246 0.01729 1626 965 469 192
29 You look like someone who could use a hug. 1.5204 0.02315 907 542 258 107
30 If it's any consolation, you still look succulent. 1.5183 0.01938 1422 887 333 202
31 It doesn't make you any less of a cactus. 1.5173 0.01765 1622 990 425 207
32 If it helps, you do look more succulent. 1.5138 0.01837 1526 944 380 202
33 On the bright side, you're much more huggable. 1.5120 0.01767 1459 862 447 150
34 It’s the first thing to go. 1.5117 0.02051 1067 627 334 106
35 Miracle-Gro. My brother swears by it. 1.5101 0.01982 1284 792 329 163
36 You got to stop watching the news. 1.5082 0.01899 1399 866 355 178
37 I am so so sorry I called you spineless. 1.5074 0.01873 1415 871 370 174
38 I think it makes you look even more succulent. 1.5064 0.01962 1335 835 324 176
39 Bless you. 1.5054 0.01958 1389 883 310 196
40 Sorry! I thought you knew I was here. 1.5037 0.02148 1078 668 277 133
41 That was a hell of a sneeze, Frank.” 1.5008 0.01998 1278 804 308 166
42 Drop your weapons and put your hands up where I can see them. 1.4995 0.02259 995 626 241 128
43 Ok I shouldn't have scared you, but are your hiccups gone? 1.4984 0.02031 1256 798 290 168
44 On the other hand, you're more huggable. 1.4938 0.02000 1136 691 329 116
45 You know they'll just grow back thicker, right? 1.4903 0.03097 516 326 127 63
46 So what if you’re balding, you’re still totally succulent. 1.4888 0.02172 1072 685 250 137
47 At least you're still erect! 1.4876 0.02120 1046 651 280 115
48 At least you’re retaining water. 1.4822 0.02204 981 619 251 111
49 They'll grow back . . . but probably grey and curly. 1.4814 0.02267 966 620 227 119
50 Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I thought you knew I was standing here. 1.4795 0.02185 951 592 262 97
51 Wait'l you see what happens in your sixties . . . 1.4775 0.02260 978 633 223 122
52 It's aloe-pecia. 1.4758 0.03961 330 217 69 44
53 So that's a Brazilian, is it? 1.4751 0.02421 905 602 176 127
54 Bright side? I bet you get more hugs! 1.4749 0.02239 895 559 247 89
55 Trust me. That's not the easiest way to find out if she loves you or loves you not 1.4747 0.02284 889 562 232 95
56 If it helps, you look much thinner... 1.4738 0.02303 916 590 218 108
57 We do have a needle exchange program… 1.4729 0.02448 867 574 176 117
58 If it helps, you look 200 years younger. 1.4724 0.02544 851 577 146 128
59 Perhaps you'll be more approachable now..... 1.4721 0.02232 877 545 250 82
60 It's not a big deal, it happens to all men... 1.4707 0.02363 871 564 204 103
61 Sorry Dave. Didn't mean to sneak up on you like that. 1.4707 0.02385 852 551 201 100
62 At least you’re gonna get more hugs 1.4700 0.02216 866 535 255 76
63 Sorry to sneak up on you like that. 1.4678 0.02313 870 557 219 94
64 Dude, we're not deciduous. 1.4649 0.02433 798 516 193 89
65 Look on the bright side. You're that much less of a prick. 1.4644 0.02564 801 540 150 111
66 See what happens when you don't stay hydrated? 1.4641 0.02359 808 514 213 81
67 Who told you that? We NEVER participate in autumn. 1.4640 0.02498 834 560 161 113
68 Psst... this isn't that kind of beach. 1.4638 0.02548 800 537 155 108
69 Well… on the bright side, you’re not a prick anymore. 1.4631 0.02532 799 534 160 105
70 It’s not that noticeable, maybe wear a hat. 1.4592 0.02466 760 492 187 81
71 Now you'll quit needling me! 1.4573 0.02583 702 458 167 77
72 When I said your trouble was not letting anyone get close I meant emotionally. 1.4571 0.02530 722 469 176 77
73 Still don't believe in climate change? 1.4562 0.02499 719 463 184 72
74 Don't worry, they'll probably grow back thicker and fuller. 1.4558 0.02388 746 472 208 66
75 The good news is your hiccups finally stopped... 1.4557 0.02499 722 466 183 73
76 Well, you definitely look more approachable... 1.4547 0.02482 750 489 181 80
77 Keep your hands up and no one gets hurt. 1.4539 0.02386 716 448 211 57
78 Wow, that was a sneeze ! 1.4535 0.02604 688 451 162 75
79 Look at it from the positive side. At least no one can call you a prick anymore. 1.4520 0.02559 739 492 160 87
80 The same thing happened to your father when he was your age. 1.4509 0.02629 652 424 162 66
81 I know everything feels pointless right now, but I’m here for you. 1.4508 0.02488 732 477 180 75
82 Don't worry darling. It happens to all men eventually. 1.4505 0.02624 666 436 160 70
83 So you still think going full Brazilian was a good idea? 1.4493 0.02666 710 482 137 91
84 Taking spineless to a new level 1.4492 0.02564 659 424 174 61
85 Was it something I shed? 1.4489 0.02545 666 428 177 61
86 You remind me of many of this country's leaders - spineless! 1.4489 0.02725 655 439 138 78
87 This brazillian thing is over-rated. 1.4486 0.02650 691 463 146 82
88 We’re no longer a prickly pair. 1.4485 0.02694 651 432 146 73
89 I warned you not to take a sneak peek at the election results." 1.4469 0.02682 669 448 143 78
90 On the plus side, you look much more approachable now. 1.4462 0.02688 641 424 148 69
91 That was a hellava sneeze, Bill. 1.4454 0.02669 687 464 140 83
92 At least you're not a prick anymore... 1.4448 0.02764 661 452 124 85
93 Now you HAVE to shave your back. 1.4446 0.02726 614 405 145 64
94 I just vacuumed. 1.4444 0.03198 468 314 100 54
95 At least I got you rid of your hiccups. 1.4430 0.02706 632 420 144 68
96 I take it back - it's ok to be a little prickly 1.4430 0.02575 614 391 174 49
97 Nice try; you’re still being a prick. 1.4427 0.02794 646 443 120 83
98 It happens. Just remember that in our case it's spelled Aloe-picia 1.4425 0.02687 626 413 149 64
99 So you went for the Brazilian? . 1.4421 0.02737 656 446 130 80
100 Hey, are you using Ozemprick? 1.4420 0.02812 638 438 118 82
101 It's NOT that common, it DOESN'T happen to every guy, and it IS a big deal! 1.4405 0.02721 647 437 135 75
102 Dude, you’re not supposed to go Full Cucumber. 1.4395 0.02798 612 414 127 71
103 Larry, I said "Buddhist Colony" not "Nudist Colony". 1.4394 0.02694 644 432 141 71
104 You're still a prick, Stanley! 1.4394 0.02876 619 429 108 82
105 let’s face it, Sid, you’ve always identified as a pickle. 1.4393 0.02761 626 423 131 72
106 Honey, it doesn't make you less of a plant. 1.4392 0.03533 362 240 85 37
107 But your hiccups are gone, right? 1.4391 0.02778 640 438 123 79
108 Full Brazilian? 1.4382 0.02960 591 412 99 80
109 Think of it this way - now you're less of a prick 1.4377 0.02919 594 411 106 77
110 Something tells me you're not drinking eight cups of water a day. 1.4375 0.02682 624 414 147 63
111 I don't think I've ever seen this vulnerable side of you. 1.4369 0.02581 618 399 168 51
112 Well, it's definitely not due to a lack of Vitamin D" 1.4366 0.02686 607 400 149 58
113 Never try to cut your own bangs. 1.4365 0.02800 614 418 124 72
114 I’m working on not being such a prick. 1.4364 0.02802 605 410 126 69
115 You’re right it does look a little bigger once you shave. 1.4358 0.02817 592 400 126 66
116 Climate Change or Manscaping? 1.4354 0.02916 565 385 114 66
117 Bald is beautiful. 1.4342 0.02654 562 360 160 42
118 Take it easy Brian. I've known you were a cucumber for years. 1.4341 0.02963 569 394 103 72
119 Quick, get dressed, my father's coming! 1.4317 0.02971 556 384 104 68
120 Try Needle Club for men! I’m not just the president, I’m also a client 1.4315 0.02718 577 380 145 52
121 Don’t be sad. You’ll get more hugs than I do. 1.4314 0.02690 547 352 154 41
122 Ooh, sorry to sneak up on you…. 1.4312 0.02782 552 364 138 50
123 I swear I didn't mean to sneak up on you... I've been here for the last 150 years. 1.4309 0.03508 362 242 84 36
124 The cows are coming, put those back on! 1.4304 0.02717 539 348 150 41
125 "Yeah, but the hiccups are gone, too, right? 1.4298 0.02889 577 397 112 68
126 Don't worry, you're still a prick. 1.4296 0.02967 554 383 104 67
127 It's okay buddy. 1 out of 4 cacti experience needle loss. Brenda will still love you. 1.4293 0.02764 573 382 136 55
128 So that's what happens when we hold in a sneeze... 1.4293 0.02764 573 382 136 55
129 I don't see your point. 1.4288 0.03033 527 364 100 63
130 Well, at least your hiccups are gone. 1.4283 0.02848 537 358 128 51
131 Don't worry babe, it happens to a lot of guys 1.4276 0.02761 580 389 134 57
132 I told you that new weightloss drug would have side effects. 1.4275 0.02802 559 374 131 54
133 They say you inherit that gene from your mother. 1.4270 0.02859 534 357 126 51
134 Sorry Phil, didn't mean to sneak up on you like that. 1.4269 0.02899 527 354 121 52
135 In a previous life you must have been deciduous 1.4260 0.03229 392 257 103 32
136 I only said stop being one. 1.4243 0.03054 502 345 101 56
137 Well, it could be worse. You still have your eyebrows. 1.4242 0.02843 528 352 128 48
138 You're not alone. Even the Supreme Court lost its spines. 1.4240 0.03102 500 347 94 59
139 You’re not as prickly as you used to be 1.4234 0.02815 522 345 133 44
140 They'll love you in Brazil 1.4228 0.02925 544 374 110 60
141 'Gesundheit' somehow seems inadequate. 1.4223 0.03038 528 369 95 64
142 Whoa, the full Brazilian! 1.4221 0.02950 552 384 103 65
143 You said just a little off the top? 1.4220 0.02890 519 349 121 49
144 Honey, you just aren’t as sharp as you used to be. 1.4216 0.02992 510 349 107 54
145 Don't blame me, son. Happened to all the men on your mom's side by the time they were your age. 1.4213 0.02846 527 353 126 48
146 At least you’re less of a prick. 1.4212 0.03012 520 360 101 59
147 Wow, that was quite a sneeze! 1.4211 0.03029 513 355 100 58
148 You spineless Arizona Republicans are all alike. 1.4206 0.03170 504 358 80 66
149 When I said, "Stick 'em up", it was just a joke. 1.4198 0.02823 536 360 127 49
150 You won’t miss those little pricks. 1.4170 0.02967 530 368 103 59
151 It really does make your butt look smaller. 1.4158 0.03018 469 317 109 43
152 Looks like you didn't get the placebo. 1.4147 0.03130 504 358 83 63
153 ...and you don't remember anything after the sixth margarita? 1.4131 0.03081 489 341 94 54
154 Maybe now's the time to get that balloon you always wanted. 1.4116 0.03354 447 321 68 58
155 Looks like you need a hug 1.4108 0.02898 482 323 120 39
156 Your father was deciduous. 1.4103 0.03110 446 305 99 42
157 I think you went a little too far with your manscaping. 1.4100 0.02962 500 344 107 49
158 You're on your own putting those back in, Charlie. 1.4084 0.03048 431 289 108 34
159 There is still a spider on your back. 1.4083 0.03065 458 314 101 43
160 On the bright side, you look younger. 1.4061 0.03053 426 286 107 33
161 Don't fret. Now you can cuddle. 1.4059 0.03015 441 297 109 35
162 Boy, that was a heck of a sneeze. 1.4047 0.03005 467 320 105 42
163 It was a depilatory, not wrinkle cream. You should have read the label. 1.4040 0.02964 448 301 113 34
164 Didn’t Linda from HR tell you to dress sharp? 1.4039 0.03129 463 325 89 49
165 And that is why you don't cover your mouth and nose when you sneeze 1.4038 0.03081 473 331 93 49
166 Still doesn’t make you less of a prick 1.4022 0.03648 358 256 60 42
167 Maybe the lint brush was a bad idea. 1.4019 0.03803 316 223 59 34
168 Sorry! Just kidding about the stick-up. 1.4014 0.03036 436 296 105 35
169 Let me know what it feels like to be hugged. 1.4005 0.03050 422 285 105 32
170 What did you think a Brazilian was? 1.3995 0.03467 403 291 63 49
171 Gesheudenteit! 1.3985 0.03375 409 292 71 46
172 Better think twice about going nude without sunscreen. 1.3985 0.03190 399 273 93 33
173 Oh no, it's sticker shock! 1.3982 0.03197 452 322 80 50
174 I warned you to never try to hold back a sneeze... 1.3973 0.03170 448 317 84 47
175 Honey, I think you're missing the points. 1.3973 0.03158 438 307 88 43
176 My mother warned me that you were spineless. 1.3972 0.03072 428 293 100 35
177 I think it's more than male pattern baldness. 1.3969 0.03293 388 269 84 35
178 You’re supposed to picture THEM naked. 1.3969 0.03314 388 270 82 36
179 You think you have it bad, ain't no one going to hug me. 1.3964 0.03017 439 300 104 35
180 Brazilian? 1.3961 0.03152 409 281 94 34
181 Whaddaya mean you identify as deciduous? 1.3952 0.03388 415 300 66 49
182 Oh no, after all that, he loves me not. 1.3945 0.03204 403 279 89 35
183 First time? 1.3943 0.03230 388 267 89 32
184 I don’t think that was suntan lotion 1.3939 0.03126 424 294 93 37
185 Well whose ARE they then? 1.3936 0.03188 409 284 89 36
186 For chrissakes, put something on. 1.3929 0.03185 392 269 92 31
187 It’s an election year. The pricks come back. 1.3922 0.03428 385 275 69 41
188 Excuse me, I think you dropped this. 1.3920 0.03197 375 255 93 27
189 I bet if you wear a hat no one will even notice 1.3917 0.03194 411 287 87 37
190 'Spineless' is merely a philosophical term. 1.3916 0.03381 383 271 74 38
191 So, this is goodbye? I thought we were a prickly pair. 1.3915 0.03733 401 308 29 64
192 Look on the bright side, the ladies won't call you a prick anymore. 1.3909 0.03408 394 283 68 43
193 Dude. You're nude. 1.3902 0.03212 387 267 89 31
194 Your mother warned me you were spineless! 1.3894 0.03169 398 275 91 32
195 I'm proud of you--lowering your defenses is the first step toward healthier relationships, better communication, and psychological growth. 1.3889 0.03179 396 274 90 32
196 To me, you're still sexy bald, but you'd better put on a hat out here. 1.3889 0.03139 396 272 94 30
197 Put your hands up and drop everything! 1.3879 0.03386 397 286 68 43
198 Hey, I'm sorry, I thought you knew I was here. 1.3878 0.03262 392 275 82 35
199 Listen, being a hat guy isn’t so bad. 1.3877 0.03009 405 274 105 26
200 Sorry .... I was just trying to cure your hiccups! 1.3876 0.03260 418 299 76 43
201 Geez, Dad….I hope baldness doesn't run in the family. 1.3875 0.03297 369 256 83 30
202 I just said you were prickly. I wasn’t making any demands. 1.3864 0.03124 383 261 96 26
203 I told you - you need to moisturize every day. 1.3860 0.03239 399 281 82 36
204 No one lives close enough to notice! 1.3850 0.03197 374 257 90 27
205 I'll get the sunscreen. 1.3850 0.03193 400 280 86 34
206 Don't stress about it, Hal. You're still succulent. 1.3829 0.03370 350 244 78 28
207 Well, I told ya not to sneeze with yer mouth closed. 1.3820 0.03129 411 288 89 34
208 You see? THIS is what happens when you try to stifle a sneeze. 1.3819 0.03318 398 286 72 40
209 All I said was a little off the top 1.3810 0.03155 399 279 88 32
210 Now that you're spineless, you remind me of Mitch McConnell. 1.3799 0.03577 379 282 50 47
211 There's always toothpicks. 1.3794 0.03461 340 240 71 29
212 Don’t worry. It’ll grow back thicker. 1.3793 0.03106 377 258 95 24
213 WOW! That dust-devil came really close, didn’t it? 1.3791 0.03228 364 252 86 26
214 Just wear a hat. No one will notice. 1.3791 0.03221 401 285 80 36
215 I was just kidding. I'm not pregnant. 1.3790 0.03561 343 247 62 34
216 Now you’re just a cucumber. 1.3784 0.03193 399 282 83 34
217 At least we got rid of your hiccups. 1.3783 0.03551 341 245 63 33
218 Now your waterbed fantasy can come true. 1.3782 0.03347 349 244 78 27
219 I said you were too needy. Not too “needly.” 1.3782 0.03480 357 257 65 35
220 On the bright side, now you can get a hug. 1.3779 0.03381 344 241 76 27
221 When I said to be more approachable, I didn't mean literally. 1.3779 0.03279 344 237 84 23
222 Don’t turn away Cecil! I’d never judge you just because you’re not as sharp as me! 1.3778 0.03299 360 252 80 28
223 Cheer up. On the positive side, you're more approachable. 1.3775 0.03482 347 248 67 32
224 Male pattern baldness is nothing to be ashamed of 1.3775 0.03360 347 243 77 27
225 I think it makes you look more approachable. 1.3775 0.03402 355 252 72 31
226 Sorry, I assumed you knew I was here. 1.3762 0.03727 303 217 58 28
227 I thought you only asked for a little off the top? 1.3761 0.03545 335 240 64 31
228 They say cactus juice is good for hair restoration. Now there’s an irony. 1.3760 0.03327 359 253 77 29
229 Dude... This isn't a nude beach! 1.3747 0.03458 387 286 57 44
230 That's not what I meant when I said you need to be less prickly. 1.3743 0.03262 350 243 83 24
231 It’s a bold look. I hope you don’t get needled for it. 1.3737 0.03286 372 264 77 31
232 Didn't your mother tell you that her father was deciduous? 1.3730 0.03477 319 224 71 24
233 Didn’t you read about the side effects?!? 1.3725 0.03291 349 244 80 25
234 At least your hiccups are gone!? 1.3725 0.03509 349 253 62 34
235 No,not bald. Think of it more as “huggable”. 1.3718 0.03379 347 246 73 28
236 Just like your old man, Jack, spineless. 1.3709 0.03380 364 262 69 33
237 You can drop all the needles you want, Larry. You're still a prick. 1.3707 0.03781 321 238 47 36
238 Bald is beautiful, bro. 1.3704 0.03350 351 249 74 28
239 You're probably just dehydrated. 1.3701 0.03539 335 242 62 31
240 Whatever you've got ,man, I hope it’s not contagious.” 1.3699 0.03235 365 257 81 27
241 It happened to your uncle at the same age. 1.3698 0.03414 338 240 71 27
242 Dude! Spineless doesn't mean you don't have a spine. 1.3696 0.03313 349 246 77 26
243 Sorry, I won't sneak up on you like that next time 1.3695 0.03341 341 240 76 25
244 "You said you were just getting a bikini-wax!" 1.3689 0.03449 347 250 66 31
245 Are sure this is a nude beach? 1.3688 0.03677 301 216 59 26
246 That must have been quite the sneeze! 1.3683 0.03779 315 233 48 34
247 And now you're cold? 1.3667 0.03622 300 214 62 24
248 How can you be so spineless? 1.3663 0.03803 303 223 49 31
249 And that’s why you should never hold in a sneeze 1.3650 0.03757 326 244 45 37
250 You know they have a pill for that. 1.3648 0.03591 307 220 62 25
251 There’s no such thing as a “kinder and gentler” cactus. 1.3645 0.03507 321 230 65 26
252 Sunscreen! You need to use sunscreen. 1.3636 0.03368 308 214 76 18
253 Just don't forget sunscreen and you'll be fine 1.3630 0.03531 303 215 66 22
254 On days like this, I feel my life is pointless! 1.3625 0.03430 331 237 68 26
255 Don't worry! Oppenheimer said it's just a test. 1.3615 0.03469 343 250 62 31
256 What if I promise to shave first? 1.3615 0.03444 343 249 64 30
257 No, no, you don't look a day over 250 1.3612 0.03399 335 240 69 26
258 It’s very common at your age, Hal. Have you tried combing it over? 1.3608 0.03404 352 256 65 31
259 I was wrong. You weren’t hiding a strong jawline. 1.3603 0.03702 297 216 55 26
260 Needleless to say... 1.3599 0.03557 314 227 61 26
261 Let your guard down is just a figure of speech, dude. 1.3597 0.03648 303 220 57 26
262 Wow, your therapy must be working. You’re no longer a prick. 1.3589 0.03949 287 215 41 31
263 It could be stress related. Look on the bright side, you're more approachable this way. 1.3586 0.03416 343 249 65 29
264 I guess we can call ourselves ‘The Prickly Pair’ anymore, huh? 1.3585 0.03946 265 194 47 24
265 Does somebody need a hug? 1.3584 0.03672 293 212 57 24
266 I didn’t mean to surprise you. 1.3583 0.03523 307 220 64 23
267 Don't be so prickly is a turn of phrase, Larry... 1.3576 0.03781 288 211 51 26
268 It's global balding. Just keep your social distance, okay? 1.3571 0.03399 294 205 73 16
269 I suggest you see an acupuncturist. 1.3571 0.06324 112 84 16 12
270 look at the bright side, you're very huggable now 1.3569 0.03495 325 236 62 27
271 Wow! That was a really hard sneeze! 1.3569 0.03728 297 218 52 27
272 You’ll also notice changes in your voice… 1.3567 0.03790 300 223 47 30
273 I warned you about holding in your sneezes! 1.3563 0.03479 334 244 61 29
274 Maybe wear a hat? 1.3562 0.03710 292 213 54 25
275 It happens to most men, Carl. 1.3556 0.03486 315 227 64 24
276 Bold haircut. You’re looking succulent. 1.3554 0.03657 287 207 58 22
277 Have you considered acupuncture? 1.3554 0.03657 287 207 58 22
278 Did I cut it too short? 1.3554 0.03657 287 207 58 22
279 Yes, you're approachable... but also spineless. 1.3549 0.03854 293 219 44 30
280 It makes you look distinguished. 1.3548 0.03214 310 214 82 14
281 Don’t worry, I still find you succulent. 1.3548 0.03764 279 203 53 23
282 It's okay. Just a sign of aging, Dad. 1.3547 0.03641 296 215 57 24
283 You’re still a prick, George. 1.3547 0.03943 296 225 37 34
284 At least you didn’t drop them in a haystack. 1.3540 0.03779 291 215 49 27
285 Pardon me, but I can see your aloe 1.3536 0.03786 280 205 51 24
286 You're a little less sharp than you used to be. 1.3531 0.03729 286 209 53 24
287 That was a helluva sneeze. You okay? 1.3529 0.03797 289 214 48 27
288 You should get that mole checked out 1.3523 0.03707 281 204 55 22
289 You are not going to school dressed like that, Cameron. Spines back on! 1.3521 0.03746 284 208 52 24
290 Don’t worry you still look great - spineless is in fashion 1.3519 0.03718 287 210 53 24
291 You used to be so sharp, and now you’re just pointless. 1.3519 0.03656 324 243 48 33
292 Maybe, but now you are succulent. 1.3517 0.03658 290 211 56 23
293 That’s why I always cross my arms before I sneeze. 1.3511 0.03797 282 208 49 25
294 Son, I told you that you would lose your needles if you kept doing that! 1.3509 0.03972 265 197 43 25
295 Well, and at your age, they will only grow back thicker in places you don't want them to. 1.3507 0.03831 268 196 50 22
296 Sorry Dude, I din't mean to startle you. 1.3507 0.03574 288 207 61 20
297 I asked you nicely to stop needling me 1.3507 0.03739 288 212 51 25
298 I've never seen anyone sneeze like that Jerry 1.3505 0.03806 291 217 46 28
299 Are you getting enough Calcium? 1.3504 0.03626 274 196 60 18
300 Oh god you look just like your dad. 1.3503 0.03715 294 217 51 26
301 Your dad was the same at your age 1.3500 0.03798 260 188 53 19
302 I told you.. never sneeze. 1.3493 0.03669 292 214 54 24
303 You might want to consider taking a break from social media. 1.3490 0.03521 298 215 62 21
304 Okay, I take it back, you're not a prick. 1.3490 0.03708 298 221 50 27
305 It’s ok, many women prefer a clean shaven cactus. 1.3484 0.03545 310 227 58 25
306 Oh..so you’re not prickly?! 1.3484 0.03394 310 222 68 20
307 We all have those moments where everything feels pointless. 1.3482 0.04098 247 184 40 23
308 You left a spot on the back 1.3474 0.03561 285 205 61 19
309 Don't act like I snuck up on you...we've been next to each other for 165 years 1.3471 0.03510 291 209 63 19
310 Actually being spineless is in nowadays. 1.3467 0.03730 274 200 53 21
311 What do you mean "sneak up on you"? I've been here fifty years. 1.3462 0.03792 260 189 52 19
312 So now we know that "depilatory" is not Spanish for "sunscreen". 1.3462 0.03908 260 192 46 22
313 Are you sure you read the washing instructions? 1.3462 0.03752 286 212 49 25
314 How could I startle you? I've been here for years! 1.3460 0.03800 263 192 51 20
315 I heard you’re trying to be less of a prick. 1.3459 0.05125 159 119 25 15
316 This is why I advocate needle exchange programs. 1.3458 0.03762 295 221 46 28
317 This is what happens when you hit puberty. 1.3453 0.03654 307 229 50 28
318 All I said was Santos is running again. 1.3451 0.03882 255 187 48 20
319 You should see someone about that cough. 1.3447 0.04201 206 149 43 14
320 You still look sharp to me. 1.3445 0.03569 299 219 57 23
321 You're gonna have to change your profile picture. 1.3442 0.03341 308 220 70 18
322 I told you, when they said Brazilian, they did not mean music. 1.3439 0.03758 285 212 48 25
323 Not gonna lie, Ted - I thought you meant you felt exposed in an emotional sense. 1.3436 0.03734 291 217 48 26
324 Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. 1.3426 0.03670 251 179 58 14
325 Excuse me. 1.3425 0.05274 146 109 24 13
326 Give it up, Gary. Everybody knows you’re a cucumber. 1.3423 0.03902 260 193 45 22
327 You're not looking so sharp. 1.3421 0.03490 266 188 65 13
328 On the bright side, you’re much more approachable. 1.3420 0.03621 269 194 58 17
329 I'm no doctor, but a sneeze like that must be a sign of something serious. 1.3420 0.03771 269 198 50 21
330 If you had listened to our mother 100 years ago, you would have taken better care of your skin." 1.3415 0.03703 287 213 50 24
331 You seem so approachable. 1.3411 0.03643 258 185 58 15
332 Sorry. Did I startle you? 1.3409 0.03895 264 197 44 23
333 Did I startle you? 1.3407 0.03694 273 200 53 20
334 The directive was to thread the needle, not shed the needle. 1.3407 0.03694 273 200 53 20
335 I TOLD you to get vaccinated! 1.3405 0.03878 279 211 41 27
336 Gesundheit! Jean Godden Seattle Washington 1.3402 0.04081 244 183 39 22
337 I still find you very attractive. 1.3399 0.03646 253 181 58 14
338 No, it's a not a dream. Yes, you are naked. 1.3399 0.03976 253 189 42 22
339 I will never sneak up on you again. 1.3398 0.03909 259 193 44 22
340 Told you not to stifle your sneezes. 1.3396 0.03777 268 198 49 21
341 Big date tonight? 1.3394 0.03760 277 206 48 23
342 You got the job dancing at the car dealership? 1.3393 0.03799 280 210 45 25
343 You can lower your arms now. Those bandits are long gone. 1.3392 0.03669 283 209 52 22
344 Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you - I thought you knew I was here. 1.3388 0.04108 245 185 37 23
345 That was Nair not sunscreen!! 1.3388 0.03899 245 180 47 18
346 Once you lose your spines here in Arizona, the only thing you can do is run for office 1.3385 0.04118 260 200 32 28
347 Try focusing on the potential upsides: hugs, balloons, bounce houses... 1.3381 0.03754 281 210 47 24
348 Sometimes you have to lose your needles to find yourself. 1.3375 0.03954 240 177 45 18
349 Hey buddy stop worrying. He’s not our president again yet. 1.3373 0.03983 252 189 41 22
350 On the bright side, you look a lot taller now. 1.3373 0.03748 255 186 52 17
351 Sorry man I didn’t mean to sneak up on you like that 1.3372 0.03954 258 194 41 23
352 Don’t worry. To me, you’ll always be irritating. 1.3372 0.03883 261 195 44 22
353 Dude, you HAVE to hydrate. 1.3370 0.03796 273 204 46 23
354 Whoa! You’re going to need more sunscreen. 1.3360 0.03830 247 181 49 17
355 Well, it can't be the water. 1.3360 0.03786 247 180 51 16
356 Wow,the psychotherapy is working. You're really letting down your defenses. 1.3360 0.03849 253 187 47 19
357 Talking to you is pointless! 1.3359 0.04051 256 195 36 25
358 I told you there were side effects! 1.3359 0.03695 256 186 54 16
359 Why is the plural cact-I, but the singular cact-US? 1.3357 0.03684 277 205 51 21
360 I shouldn’t have brought up the election. 1.3347 0.04041 236 176 41 19
361 Well, maybe so—but let’s face it: You sure had a lot of fun! 1.3347 0.03901 248 184 45 19
362 Don't know how to say this diplomatically, but, I think you should go back to your old stylist. 1.3347 0.03773 248 181 51 16
363 I told you that cheap sunscreen had side effects. 1.3346 0.03544 263 189 60 14
364 You look like you need a hug. 1.3346 0.03625 263 191 56 16
365 Not what I meant by ‘drop it.’ 1.3346 0.03637 266 194 55 17
366 Sorry, I'll never say you are 'too prickly' again. 1.3346 0.03531 269 194 60 15
367 Sorry, dude - shed happens. 1.3345 0.03558 287 211 56 20
368 “ So? She loves you; or she loves you not?” 1.3333 0.03896 252 188 44 20
369 Sorry, I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that. 1.3333 0.03741 255 187 51 17
370 You know better than to hold your sneeze in. 1.3333 0.03688 243 175 55 13
371 On the plus side, you’ll be the fastest cactus on the swim team. 1.3333 0.03800 261 194 47 20
372 Welcome to menopause. 1.3333 0.03851 267 201 43 23
373 At least you still have your eyebrows? 1.3333 0.03883 264 199 42 23
374 Wow, that was some sneeze! 1.3321 0.03728 268 199 49 20
375 I told you to read the list of side effects! 1.3321 0.03536 268 194 59 15
376 Sorry if I rubbed you the wrong way. 1.3320 0.03888 241 178 46 17
377 You really did shake it off. 1.3319 0.04003 235 175 42 18
378 It's just that we are no longer a prickly pair. 1.3309 0.03695 275 205 49 21
379 No, really. You look great. 1.3308 0.03767 260 193 48 19
380 Your only hope now is acupuncture. 1.3308 0.04070 260 201 32 27
381 Well, THAT was a pointless exercise. 1.3306 0.03875 242 179 46 17
382 You’re missing the point. 1.3305 0.03850 236 173 48 15
383 I hesitate to tell you this, but people think you’re too soft. 1.3305 0.03884 233 171 47 15
384 That’s not what I meant when I said you need to stop being a prick. 1.3297 0.03794 279 212 42 25
385 Don't worry, spineless is rather in fashion these days, especially in politics. 1.3296 0.03953 267 205 36 26
386 I say this as a friend, you aren't as sharp as you used to be. 1.3295 0.03794 261 195 46 20
387 It's stress. I'll give you my therapist's number. 1.3294 0.03807 252 187 47 18
388 Don't worry. It happens to a lot of guys your age. 1.3294 0.03723 252 185 51 16
389 An optimist would call it ‘bikini ready’. 1.3293 0.03796 249 184 48 17
390 It was my hair removal cream. Did you think it was shampoo? 1.3281 0.03763 256 190 48 18
391 Needles to say... you look succulent. 1.3281 0.04000 256 196 36 24
392 Don't worry. You're better off. They were just a bunch of pricks anyway. 1.3281 0.03956 253 192 39 22
393 You said Arizonan? Could of sworn you asked for the Brazilian… 1.3281 0.04149 253 197 29 27
394 It…takes years off you. 1.3280 0.03565 250 180 58 12
395 Stressed? 1.3265 0.03655 245 178 54 13
396 He loves me not.. 1.3263 0.04070 236 179 37 20
397 You're spineless, but in a good way. 1.3261 0.03711 230 166 53 11
398 Suddenly you don't seem to be the prick you once were. 1.3261 0.04100 230 174 37 19
399 Oops, didn't mean to scare you. 1.3257 0.03787 261 196 45 20
400 Do you need a hug? 1.3251 0.03941 243 183 41 19
401 The doctor warned you there could be side effects. 1.3250 0.03796 240 177 48 15
402 Well, I must say, you're much less of a prick this way. 1.3249 0.03921 237 177 43 17
403 Turn around and say it to my face, you spineless bastard. 1.3249 0.03921 237 177 43 17
404 I’d say they’ll grow back, but honestly I’m not sure they do. 1.3248 0.03862 234 173 46 15
405 Did you keep the receipt? 1.3248 0.03814 234 172 48 14
406 So sorry....I didn't mean to sneak up on you like that. 1.3244 0.03736 262 196 47 19
407 I’m fairly certain the sunscreen bottle stated all natural not au naturel 1.3243 0.04154 222 168 36 18
408 I startled you? We’re the only 2 out here & have been here for millennia. 1.3243 0.04104 222 167 38 17
409 It will only grow back thicker. 1.3242 0.03589 256 187 55 14
410 Was it laser or wax? 1.3240 0.03983 250 191 37 22
411 God bless you. 1.3238 0.03927 244 184 41 19
412 You are not a cucumber, okay? Get over it. 1.3237 0.04048 241 184 36 21
413 The thought of him possibly regaining the presidency scares me, too! 1.3235 0.03996 238 180 39 19
414 I told you not to watch the State of the Union. 1.3235 0.03952 238 179 41 18
415 Well now maybe you will stop being a prick 1.3231 0.04154 229 175 34 20
416 Yeah, Phil, it’s obvious you’re stressed. 1.3226 0.03707 248 183 50 15
417 Cheer up. Bald is in. 1.3223 0.03723 242 178 50 14
418 I’m not a licensed barber, per se. I should have led with that. 1.3220 0.04107 236 181 34 21
419 puberty happens differently for everyone 1.3219 0.04009 233 176 39 18
420 I didn’t mean it literally when I told you to stop being such a prick. 1.3219 0.04100 233 178 35 20
421 And that’s how baby cacti are made. 1.3216 0.03842 255 193 42 20
422 Gesundheit, Curly. 1.3214 0.04170 224 171 34 19
423 I told you it wouldn’t make it look bigger. 1.3214 0.03915 252 192 39 21
424 Sorry to startle you. I’ve been back here for 40 years and thought it was time to introduce myself. 1.3213 0.04161 221 168 35 18
425 Sorry. When I said ' Stick 'em up," I was just kidding. 1.3211 0.03856 246 185 43 18
426 The good news is that you're no longer a real prick! 1.3210 0.03890 243 183 42 18
427 So you're not as much of a prick as you used to be, it happens. 1.3208 0.03834 240 179 45 16
428 "You look like a pickle with arms." 1.3198 0.03928 247 188 39 20
429 At least no more hiccups, right Dan? 1.3198 0.04194 222 170 33 19
430 Wow, Jim, you really are spineless 1.3197 0.04088 244 189 32 23
431 Any side effects to taking it? 1.3196 0.03927 219 162 44 13
432 Sorry, dude but you look like a pickle. 1.3194 0.04227 216 165 33 18
433 That wasn't sunscreen. It was Nair! 1.3191 0.03817 257 195 42 20
434 Hey! The nude desert is a half mile that way! 1.3191 0.03817 257 195 42 20
435 You look bald, needleless to say. 1.3187 0.03626 251 185 52 14
436 I promise, you can live a full life without a bunch of pricks." 1.3184 0.04367 223 175 25 23
437 Gosh, I didn't mean to startle you! 1.3182 0.03806 242 181 45 16
438 Don't worry. I'll protect you. 1.3178 0.03919 236 178 41 17
439 Wow, you really did get scared spineless. 1.3172 0.04026 227 172 38 17
440 Without the needles, you’re basically a giant cucumber. 1.3170 0.04113 224 171 35 18
441 Maybe you shouldn’t have used the loofah. 1.3165 0.04039 218 164 39 15
442 Whoa, whoa, don’t get all non-defensive. 1.3162 0.03985 234 178 38 18
443 Now they’ll grow back thicker. 1.3162 0.03845 234 175 44 15
444 Erectile dysfunction medications are not without side effects. 1.3160 0.04022 231 176 37 18
445 Oh, that’s just Pablo. He’s Brazilian 1.3160 0.03887 250 191 39 20
446 Please tell me your condition is not contagious… 1.3158 0.03913 228 171 42 15
447 Bold, but it doesn’t change who you are on the inside. 1.3158 0.03658 228 166 52 10
448 Allergies, amiright? 1.3156 0.03824 244 184 43 17
449 It happens, you’re just not as sharp as you used to be! 1.3153 0.04233 222 172 30 20
450 Next time, please try to sneeze into your elbow. 1.3147 0.03912 232 175 41 16
451 Sorry, did I scare you? 1.3145 0.03906 248 190 38 20
452 I don’t mean to be a prick but … 1.3144 0.03899 229 172 42 15
453 I told you to stay dehydrated. 1.3143 0.03676 245 182 49 14
454 I told you not using sunscreen ages you faster. 1.3139 0.03970 223 168 40 15
455 Did it at least stop the hiccups? 1.3138 0.03784 239 179 45 15
456 I'm sorry. Did I startle you? 1.3138 0.03831 239 180 43 16
457 Looking sharp! Metaphorically. 1.3138 0.03784 239 179 45 15
458 You should've sneezed into your elbow! 1.3137 0.04225 204 155 34 15
459 I admit you’ve made some good points. 1.3136 0.03848 220 163 45 12
460 Harold, I'm pregnant. 1.3136 0.04258 220 171 29 20
461 No it's cool. Some of my best friends are deciduous. 1.3134 0.04149 217 166 34 17
462 Sweetheart that's not what I meant by being more vulnerable 1.3133 0.03898 233 176 41 16
463 You can always say you’re a pickle. 1.3133 0.03898 233 176 41 16
464 I suggest that you wear a baseball cap 1.3128 0.03919 227 171 41 15
465 Chia Pet Hair Solution did wonders for my cousin Hank. 1.3128 0.03869 227 170 43 14
466 You know, some find it sexier. 1.3125 0.04055 224 171 36 17
467 It's ok Tony..you're still a prick on the inside 1.3125 0.03995 240 185 35 20
468 It was so quiet, you could hear all the needles drop... 1.3125 0.03904 224 168 42 14
469 Oh yeah, you’re sooo evolved. 1.3122 0.03803 237 178 44 15
470 Have you tried toothpicks? 1.3122 0.04150 205 155 36 14
471 Rogaine. With Amazon Prime, you’ll get it tomorrow. 1.3117 0.03740 247 186 45 16
472 Well, on the other hand, you look younger. 1.3117 0.03821 231 173 44 14
473 Clothing optional for the GUESTS Ralph, not the scenery. 1.3111 0.04039 225 172 36 17
474 Now - very slowly - toss your wallet behind you, and nobody will get hurt. 1.3109 0.03836 238 180 42 16
475 Drop your weapons and put your hands in the air. 1.3103 0.04136 232 181 30 21
476 So what if you're not as sharp as a tack any more! 1.3102 0.04156 216 166 33 17
477 I recommend not sneezing anymore. 1.3099 0.03651 242 180 49 13
478 Experts say all men after 50 begin to look like their grandmothers 1.3094 0.03909 223 168 41 14
479 I actually find your vulnerability very attractive. 1.3093 0.03663 236 175 49 12
480 Gotta read those shampoo labels. 1.3084 0.03959 227 173 38 16
481 You’re starting to burn! 1.3077 0.03597 247 184 50 13
482 Face it. You’re not as sharp as you once were. 1.3073 0.04139 205 156 35 14
483 Sorry. I did say, drop everything. 1.3070 0.03837 215 160 44 11
484 It’s OK. A lot of guys suffer from premature balding. 1.3065 0.04224 199 152 33 14
485 I liked you better when you were a prick. 1.3061 0.04448 196 153 26 17
486 I always knew you were spineless Harold. 1.3058 0.04345 206 161 27 18
487 Well, at least now, you're less of aa prick! 1.3056 0.04146 216 167 32 17
488 Dont fret it, half these guys nowadays are going neddleless by choice. 1.3049 0.03740 223 166 46 11
489 When I said ‘stop being so prickly’, I meant your attitude. 1.3049 0.03847 223 168 42 13
490 Honestly, you hardly notice. 1.3046 0.04310 197 152 30 15
491 I wasn’t addressing your character when I called you spineless. 1.3043 0.03816 230 174 42 14
492 I told you to use protection! 1.3043 0.03914 230 176 38 16
493 The next activity is a trust fall. 1.3041 0.04104 194 146 37 11
494 Sir, this is not a needle optional beach 1.3036 0.03935 224 171 38 15
495 Went too far with the manscaping, huh? 1.3035 0.04005 201 151 39 11
496 I got Aloe vera growing in my butt if you want some of that. 1.3032 0.04389 188 145 29 14
497 Maybe if you just comb the rest over? 1.3026 0.03983 228 176 35 17
498 I told you to use it UNDER your arms! It ain’t a body wash! Do you ever actually listen to me? 1.3026 0.03934 228 175 37 16
499 and that's why I wear sunscreen 1.3021 0.03657 235 176 47 12
500 You should never hold your sneezes in. 1.3020 0.04286 202 157 29 16
501 Sorry. I thought 'Stick 'em up!' after all these years would be funny." 1.3019 0.03975 212 161 38 13
502 On the other hand, you won't have to shave under your arms. 1.3018 0.03689 222 165 47 10
503 I warned you to get vaccinated. 1.3015 0.03964 199 149 40 10
504 You should really try acupuncture, it’s changed my life. 1.3015 0.04090 199 151 36 12
505 It’s brave of you to drop the Tough Guy facade. 1.3014 0.03832 219 165 42 12
506 Did you finally stop being a big prick? 1.3010 0.04495 196 155 23 18
507 I never realized until this exact moment how phallic we are. 1.3005 0.04302 193 149 30 14
508 See what happens when you try to block a sneeze?” 1.3005 0.03845 213 160 42 11
509 *First dose of Ozempic* 1.3004 0.03724 233 176 44 13
510 Blame your parents. 1.3000 0.03762 220 165 44 11
511 That’s what you get for declawing the cat. 1.3000 0.04109 210 162 33 15
512 I guess they didn’t tell you the orgy was postponed. 1.3000 0.04512 150 112 31 7
513 At least you don't have to worry about being a prick anymore. 1.3000 0.04053 210 161 35 14
514 You know? You’re spineless. 1.2996 0.03788 227 172 42 13
515 Look at the bright side, no one can say you’re being too prickly 1.2995 0.03851 217 164 41 12
516 On the upside, your prostate is fine 1.2995 0.04476 207 166 20 21
517 Don't worry, man. 'Thornless' is very cool now." 1.2991 0.03716 224 168 45 11
518 That's how it starts. Next you'll be starting every sentence with, "back in my day .." 1.2986 0.04092 211 163 33 15
519 Don't mean to needle you, but you don't look so sharp. 1.2985 0.03993 201 152 38 11
520 That was one heck of a sneeze, Joe! 1.2978 0.03647 225 168 47 10
521 Don't worry. They say it grows back curly. 1.2970 0.04037 202 154 36 12
522 I guess you CAN sneeze with your eyes open. 1.2965 0.04015 199 151 37 11
523 Hey, it's just me. It's always me. 1.2965 0.03844 226 173 39 14
524 You don’t have to get prickly with me! 1.2961 0.04166 179 135 35 9
525 Are you running for office? 1.2961 0.04090 179 134 37 8
526 I bet you only asked for a small trim, right? 1.2957 0.04061 186 140 37 9
527 Spineless in a good way. 1.2955 0.03860 220 168 39 13
528 Relax, you look ten years younger. 1.2955 0.03695 220 165 45 10
529 I keep telling you to hydrate and put on sunscreen. 1.2952 0.03985 210 161 36 13
530 Oh no! I think you’ve gone deciduous! 1.2951 0.04317 183 141 30 12
531 Drop your weapons and put your hands up! 1.2950 0.04121 200 154 33 13
532 Honey, this is not what I had in mind when I asked you to reinvent yourself.” 1.2949 0.03727 217 163 44 10
533 I overplucked in the nineties, too. 1.2947 0.03965 207 158 37 12
534 Work on your offense. 1.2944 0.04293 180 138 31 11
535 Like I said, your mother's father was a watermelon. 1.2944 0.04201 214 169 27 18
536 ‘Early onset scalding…’ 1.2944 0.03818 214 162 41 11
537 If only you could see the bright side. 1.2941 0.04459 204 164 20 20
538 It's the stress. 1.2941 0.04122 204 158 32 14
539 God Bless. 1.2939 0.03811 245 191 36 18
540 Looks like we'll have to find you a new name, Needles. 1.2938 0.04081 211 164 32 15
541 Whoa. And I thought I was the one with the over-the-top startle response. 1.2938 0.03734 211 158 44 9
542 Hey! I'm not only the Spine Club president, but I'm also a client! 1.2936 0.03934 218 168 36 14
543 All things considered; I thought ‘Stick ‘em up!’ was pretty funny… 1.2933 0.03744 225 171 42 12
544 Hey! This isn’t a nude beach! 1.2932 0.03914 191 143 40 8
545 If you think THAT"S alarming, wait until I tell you about global warming! 1.2929 0.03890 198 149 40 9
546 It's the vaccine, bro! 1.2926 0.04297 188 146 29 13
547 Looks like you've got your mother's deciduous nature. 1.2925 0.03779 212 160 42 10
548 Needless to say I warned you about sneezing... 1.2921 0.04016 178 133 38 7
549 Manscaping kit? What were you thinking?!?! 1.2919 0.04344 185 144 28 13
550 you sure you're not stressed? 1.2919 0.04136 185 141 34 10
551 I'm sorry I needled you. 1.2919 0.03752 209 157 43 9
552 Well...you'll get more hugs. 1.2917 0.04101 192 147 34 11
553 Doesn’t your mom’s dad still have his spines? 1.2913 0.03786 206 155 42 9
554 You were right,I should have taken the measles vaccine! 1.2908 0.03910 196 148 39 9
555 If it makes a difference, I can get a wax job. 1.2907 0.03844 172 126 42 4
556 Marty,you're not weak--being vulnerable is the point! 1.2906 0.03884 203 154 39 10
557 You'll always be prickly to me! 1.2906 0.04007 203 156 35 12
558 I TOLD you a full body wax was a bad idea! 1.2906 0.04186 203 159 29 15
559 When our therapist said to “make yourself vulnerable” I’m not sure that’s what she meant. 1.2905 0.03973 210 162 35 13
560 Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. In my defense, I’ve been here for 30 years. 1.2902 0.04212 193 150 30 13
561 You're not as sharp as you used to be Dave. 1.2897 0.03863 214 164 38 12
562 You’re still a prick Tony 1.2892 0.04109 204 159 31 14
563 You really gotta work on those stress levels, Hal. 1.2891 0.03721 211 159 43 9
564 You're going to have to get over your fear of needles. 1.2890 0.04474 173 135 26 12
565 “If they don’t grow back, there’s always Cactus Club for Men.” 1.2887 0.04129 194 150 32 12
566 Did I scare ya, Bobby, or are ya just plain spineless? 1.2885 0.03754 208 157 42 9
567 It’s better than a comb-over 1.2880 0.04172 191 148 31 12
568 You're not looking too sharp there, Dave. 1.2874 0.04221 174 133 32 9
569 I know it's hot, but going NAKED? REALLY! 1.2873 0.04185 181 139 32 10
570 Did you ask your doctor if Needlezoff is right for you? 1.2873 0.04400 181 142 26 13
571 Chris Rock better keep his mouth shut. 1.2873 0.04111 181 138 34 9
572 When you get older, things will begin to change. 1.2872 0.03937 188 142 38 8
573 For the record, I never thought you were a prick. 1.2872 0.04360 195 155 24 16
574 Mother was wrong; it doesn't make you go blind, it makes your needles fall off. 1.2872 0.04299 195 154 26 15
575 Now you are going to have to stop needling me about my droopy arm. 1.2872 0.04360 195 155 24 16
576 I think you look distinguished. 1.2872 0.03913 195 148 38 9
577 No, you're still prickly. Now, you're also bald. 1.2868 0.05300 129 102 17 10
578 Oh, sorry—my allergies are acting up again. 1.2865 0.04153 192 149 31 12
579 Don’t worry. You will find them all growing back in your ears and nose. 1.2864 0.04295 199 158 25 16
580 No, really. It doesn't make your ears look big. 1.2864 0.04051 199 154 33 12
581 That looked like a loud sneeze, but I don't have any ears. 1.2864 0.04235 199 157 27 15
582 That was a close shave, but they're gone now. 1.2864 0.04235 199 157 27 15
583 I always wondered what would happen if someone sneezed, burped and farted at the same time. 1.2857 0.04428 175 137 26 12
584 …and now for the bad news. 1.2857 0.04091 182 139 34 9
585 But you said it would be okay if I wore protection! 1.2857 0.04237 182 141 30 11
586 Honey, if Chris Rock says a word about it, I'll slap him. 1.2849 0.04241 186 145 29 12
587 I think you should just lean into the look 1.2842 0.04072 183 140 34 9
588 I still find you attractive. 1.2840 0.04295 169 130 30 9
589 Whatever I say it will be pointless 1.2840 0.04212 169 129 32 8
590 hey man do you know what that noise was? 1.2840 0.04672 162 128 22 12
591 Uh. God bless you? 1.2836 0.04077 201 157 31 13
592 Maybe next time I suggest sunscreen, you'll listen! 1.2827 0.04091 191 148 32 11
593 What did they not get about just a little off the top? 1.2827 0.04223 191 150 28 13
594 Look, some cacti just hit puberty a little later than others. 1.2827 0.03884 191 145 38 8
595 Well, if thats the only side effect you get from that pill you'll be lucky, cause the commercial listed way more! 1.2826 0.04404 184 146 24 14
596 I really didn't think you would go that far when I said you were being a prick! 1.2826 0.04336 184 145 26 13
597 I'm sorry! Did I rub you the wrong way? 1.2825 0.04159 177 136 32 9
598 What part of right arm up and left arm down, don't you get 1.2825 0.04457 177 140 24 13
599 Ne'er do well, I said, not Nair do well. 1.2824 0.04353 170 132 28 10
600 You also farted when you sneezed. 1.2821 0.03830 195 148 39 8
601 At least you’re in good company. This year’s primaries are also pointless. 1.2818 0.04522 181 145 21 15
602 Saguaro you feeling? You aren’t looking too sharp. 1.2818 0.04095 181 139 33 9
603 On the bright side you're not as much of a prick. 1.2816 0.04204 174 134 31 9
604 Bro, i get it. Really, i do. But the REASON it works for Tucci is because he’s got those bitchin’ chunky frames. 1.2814 0.04322 167 129 29 9
605 I just hope you did it for you and not someone else. 1.2811 0.03885 185 140 38 7
606 Don’t take it personal. They’re just pricks. 1.2809 0.04575 178 143 20 15
607 Don't worry, I'm sure it happens to lots of guys! 1.2807 0.04410 171 134 26 11
608 At least it didn't happen at school. 1.2806 0.04205 196 155 27 14
609 He won the election. 1.2802 0.04149 182 141 31 10
610 I knew you’d regret it — beards never go out of style. 1.2802 0.04000 182 139 35 8
611 You went a little overboard with the depilatory cream. 1.2802 0.04293 182 143 27 12
612 Sorry I startled you! 1.2798 0.03987 193 149 34 10
613 I warned you to stop touching yourself! 1.2798 0.04120 193 151 30 12
614 Honey, I'm sorry. You surprised me. Really, you look great. 1.2798 0.04462 168 132 25 11
615 On the plus side, you'll be free of tan lines. 1.2789 0.03957 190 146 35 9
616 I thought we agreed on protection. 1.2789 0.03886 190 145 37 8
617 Nah, I don’t think you’re ready for “Naked and Afraid.” 1.2789 0.03813 190 144 39 7
618 It’s not like I snuck up on you! 1.2789 0.03813 190 144 39 7
619 Sorry, didn’t mean to sneak up on you like that 1.2788 0.04597 165 131 22 12
620 Oh, I thought you knew I was behind you. 1.2787 0.04056 183 141 33 9
621 Nevertheless, Steve, nobody thinks you're any less tough, gnarled and eerie. 1.2783 0.03800 212 164 37 11
622 Didn’t you read the warning on the bottle? 1.2781 0.03849 187 142 38 7
623 I suggest a less dry climate. 1.2778 0.03847 198 152 37 9
624 Not used to seeing a Brazilian around these parts 1.2778 0.04461 180 144 22 14
625 Of course I love you, just not in that way. 1.2778 0.04571 162 128 23 11
626 When I said you should let your guard down, I didn’t mean … 1.2775 0.04209 191 151 27 13
627 She says that she likes me better without the needles. 1.2772 0.03859 202 156 36 10
628 Don't worry, lots of men deal with spine loss. 1.2772 0.04109 184 143 31 10
629 You have that “cool as a cucumber’ ambiance . 1.2772 0.04181 184 144 29 11
630 Well I guess that means I'm the prick now. 1.2771 0.04491 166 131 24 11
631 Busted! You're just a cucumber with a sewing kit! 1.2771 0.04572 166 132 22 12
632 Now you’ll make a better dildo! 1.2769 0.04147 195 154 28 13
633 Did you shave? 1.2766 0.04048 188 146 32 10
634 Too much Nair? Happened to me once! 1.2766 0.04048 188 146 32 10
635 Don’t worry, we can fix this. I know this porcupine that sells implants on the cheap. 1.2766 0.03832 188 143 38 7
636 Smooth move. 1.2765 0.04415 170 134 25 11
637 Well if I knew this was gonna happen, I wouldn’t have snuck up in you. 1.2759 0.03779 203 156 38 9
638 Don't be such a prude, I just called you succulent. 1.2755 0.03728 196 149 40 7
639 Some situations are thornier than others.” 🌵 1.2755 0.04064 196 154 30 12
640 This is not the nude beach. 1.2751 0.03959 189 146 34 9
641 You’re still a bit uneven. Pull another one. 1.2750 0.04429 160 125 26 9
642 That aloe-pecia hits quick. 1.2749 0.04392 171 135 25 11
643 No, no, I swear — it looks good, dude. Your face doesn't look weird and doughy and huge and pale at all. 1.2749 0.04233 171 133 29 9
644 Oh Walter, you may be thorn impaired, but your still succulent!" 1.2746 0.04170 193 153 27 13
645 You used to be a total prick. 1.2741 0.04233 197 158 24 15
646 Is that a tattoo of a Joshua Tree on your back? 1.2741 0.04046 197 155 30 12
647 You'll fit right in at burning man. 1.2739 0.04201 157 120 31 6
648 Hands up. Weapons on the ground.” 1.2738 0.04196 168 130 30 8
649 Saguaro you feeling my friend? 1.2738 0.04363 168 132 26 10
650 On the positive side, now you can play for the Yankees. 1.2736 0.03960 212 168 30 14
651 I don't think this is what your therapist meant when they said be less prickly 1.2733 0.04132 161 123 32 6
652 Hmmmmmmmmmm a smoothie... 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
653 Aloe, Pecia! 1.2733 0.04370 172 136 25 11
654 Hey, Yul Brenner was cool! 1.2727 0.03980 187 145 33 9
655 Cheer up. You don't look bald, you look clean shaven. 1.2727 0.03974 165 125 35 5
656 And now he’s back on the ballot. 1.2727 0.04191 187 148 27 12
657 I’m sorry but all physicals require a prostate exam. 1.2722 0.04156 180 141 29 10
658 Wow! That was some sneeze Walter! 1.2722 0.04303 180 143 25 12
659 So, are the hiccups gone? 1.2722 0.04089 169 130 32 7
660 Told you to read the fine-print. Side effects may include mild depression and near certain needle loss. 1.2718 0.03868 195 151 35 9
661 Happy 40th, Jerry. 1.2717 0.04020 184 143 32 9
662 You outta try Rogaine. 1.2717 0.04109 173 134 31 8
663 There’s too many pricks in this world anyway 1.2717 0.04646 173 141 17 15
664 Sorry, but you look like a giant pickle. 1.2716 0.04467 162 128 24 10
665 I told you sunscreen had side effects 1.2713 0.03961 188 146 33 9
666 You dropped something 1.2711 0.04307 166 130 27 9
667 So? Does she love you, or love you not? 1.2711 0.04307 166 130 27 9
668 You still have the hiccups? 1.2706 0.04068 170 131 32 7
669 You know, I heard it grows back thicker than before!” 1.2706 0.04236 170 133 28 9
670 I told you go easy on the Nair! 1.2705 0.03900 207 163 32 12
671 Maybe you should see a doctor about that premature ejaculation. 1.2704 0.03984 196 154 31 11
672 I told you you've gone too far with this manscaping thing. 1.2701 0.04168 174 136 29 9
673 You need SPF 50, buddy. 1.2701 0.04006 174 134 33 7
674 I suggested a LITTLE more vulnerability. 1.2701 0.04325 174 138 25 11
675 Uh, this is not a needles-optional desert, Bert. 1.2697 0.04402 178 143 22 13
676 Have you considered a toupée? 1.2695 0.04023 167 128 33 6
677 I told you, no sex without protection. 1.2695 0.04367 167 132 25 10
678 Nice try, but pickles don’t have arms. 1.2695 0.04529 167 134 21 12
679 You’re still beautiful to me. 1.2695 0.03933 167 127 35 5
680 Look at the bright side. You’ll no longer be such a prick! 1.2692 0.04487 156 123 24 9
681 Dude. Male pattern baldness is the worst. 1.2692 0.04189 182 144 27 11
682 But if I scratch your back now, what are you going to do for me? 1.2692 0.04579 156 124 22 10
683 Sorry, you're right, I'm the prick. 1.2690 0.04158 197 158 25 14
684 On the bright side, you aren't the old prick you once were. 1.2690 0.04214 171 134 28 9
685 “Don't encourage the tree huggers.” 1.2690 0.04452 171 137 22 12
686 It looks great, don’t worry about it. 1.2690 0.04132 171 133 30 8
687 I'm not sure swimsuit season is a thing out here... 1.2688 0.04195 186 148 26 12
688 Have you considered Rogaine? 1.2686 0.03903 175 134 35 6
689 For goodness' sake cover yourself up. Someone's coming. 1.2683 0.04246 164 128 28 8
690 Wow! I've never seen you naked before. 1.2683 0.04246 164 128 28 8
691 Don’t be afraid, it’s just prickly heat 1.2682 0.04234 179 142 26 11
692 It's just me. It's always just me. 1.2680 0.04448 153 120 25 8
693 I told you not to shave, your going to get cold at night 1.2680 0.04350 153 119 27 7
694 That's not what they mean by needle exchange. 1.2678 0.04096 183 144 29 10
695 Joe, stop being so grumpy! People can finally hug you. 1.2674 0.04193 172 135 28 9
696 You afraid of needles? 1.2674 0.04243 187 150 24 13
697 Did you really trade aloe for Nair? 1.2674 0.04035 187 147 30 10
698 The bottle on the top shelf was Nair, not sunscreen 1.2671 0.04203 161 125 29 7
699 That wasn’t your new sunblock, love. 1.2671 0.04203 161 125 29 7
700 I still think you’ll look better in a bathing suit this way. 1.2670 0.03966 176 136 33 7
701 Told you it was a nuclear test. 1.2670 0.03799 176 134 37 5
702 I'll call spine one one. 1.2663 0.03866 199 156 33 10
703 Side Effects. Seek medical attention if you right arm stays up longer than four hours. 1.2663 0.04321 169 134 25 10
704 Are your hiccups gone? 1.2659 0.03922 173 133 34 6
705 You're probably having that dream where you're naked in the desert." 1.2659 0.04171 173 136 28 9
706 Spineless is a state of mind. 1.2655 0.03947 177 137 33 7
707 It's called climate change, and there's no cure. 1.2652 0.03967 181 141 32 8
708 I know a porcupine who specializes in hair replacement. 1.2651 0.04535 166 134 20 12
709 Just tell everyone you are prepairing for a swim meet. 1.2649 0.04199 185 148 25 12
710 You get it from your Mother’s side. 1.2649 0.03909 185 144 33 8
711 At least no one can call you a prick. 1.2647 0.04379 170 136 23 11
712 It's normal the first time you get really excited. 1.2646 0.04203 189 152 24 13
713 Sorry, I should've knocked! 1.2646 0.04067 189 150 28 11
714 Are you saying you no longer want to be a prickly pair? 1.2645 0.04301 155 121 27 7
715 Get ready for a loooot of hello-hugs. 1.2644 0.03987 174 135 32 7
716 I still love you for the prick you are on the inside." 1.2642 0.04759 159 130 16 13
717 Was it the Viagra? 1.2642 0.04589 159 128 20 11
718 I'm telling you, try Rogaine. 1.2640 0.03927 178 138 33 7
719 Don't worry. You still have a lot of coverage in the back, so you should be a needle transplant candidate 1.2637 0.04099 182 144 28 10
720 Hey, That's against the dress code 1.2637 0.04022 201 161 27 13
721 I know a guy in Turkey, they can help 1.2635 0.04634 148 118 21 9
722 Look, almost every guy goes bald eventually. You’ve still got a few good centuries left in you. 1.2635 0.04091 167 130 30 7
723 'Shake your booty' is not good advice for us. 1.2635 0.04091 167 130 30 7
724 I told you not to use the loofah in the bath! 1.2634 0.03891 186 145 33 8
725 Sorry…I liked you better when you were prickly. 1.2632 0.03836 190 148 34 8
726 Ok, some definitely fell off. But it's not that bad." 1.2632 0.04195 171 135 27 9
727 It’s OK. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. 1.2629 0.03922 194 153 31 10
728 i know what i said before but sometimes its not a good idea to drop all your defenses 1.2629 0.03967 175 136 32 7
729 Needles to say, you’ve put us both in a sticky situation. Agave you one more chance! What are you gonna do now? Leave me here aloe? I just don’t understand why you can’t EVER…HOLD ONTO… THE POINT?! 1.2629 0.04436 175 142 20 13
730 Let's face it, your life is pointless. 1.2628 0.04558 156 125 21 10
731 Don’t worry honey, it happens to all guys. 1.2626 0.04142 179 142 27 10
732 Oh no, did they not warn you about Ozempic side effects? 1.2626 0.03987 179 140 31 8
733 You don’t think it’s sexually transmitted, do you? 1.2625 0.04388 160 127 24 9
734 Adopted? Why do you ask? 1.2625 0.04563 160 129 20 11
735 Let me get you some water 1.2625 0.04205 160 125 28 7
736 Didn't mean to startle you! 1.2622 0.04483 164 132 21 11
737 I think it's genetic. 1.2622 0.04044 164 127 31 6
738 On the bright side, it should grow back fuller. 1.2622 0.03855 164 125 35 4
739 It's ok, Needles, we'll get you another nickname. 1.2622 0.04044 164 127 31 6
740 Are you sure this isn’t just conflict avoidance? 1.2622 0.04225 164 129 27 8
741 Hey, I’m so sorry if I needled you too much! 1.2621 0.04038 145 110 32 3
742 Dick, make up your mind…do you want to be remembered as a prick or a pickle? 1.2620 0.03946 187 147 31 9
743 I've noticed you're becoming more and more detached. 1.2617 0.04405 149 117 25 7
744 Uh … the clothing-optional desert is over there. 1.2617 0.04606 149 119 21 9
745 You still have a few good points. 1.2614 0.04616 153 123 20 10
746 It’s just the nomination — the election is still months away! 1.2614 0.04521 153 122 22 9
747 I didn't mean to scare you. You had the hiccups. 1.2614 0.04028 176 138 30 8
748 It is way too sunny to be a nudist, Bill. 1.2613 0.03784 199 156 34 9
749 I told you to put on sunscreen!! 1.2611 0.03889 180 140 33 7
750 I used to think you were a bit of a prick, but you’re all right now! 1.2611 0.04045 180 142 29 9
751 Just think of it as a new, more approachable, you. 1.2606 0.03927 188 148 31 9
752 This is a stick-up. Drop your weapons. 1.2604 0.04302 169 135 24 10
753 Too much tequila? 1.2604 0.04135 169 133 28 8
754 Yeah, but prickly heat’s worse! 1.2601 0.04232 173 138 25 10
755 All I said was: “It’s going to be Biden vs Trump.” 1.2601 0.04070 173 136 29 8
756 You feeling okay? Lookin' kinda vulnerable out here. 1.2600 0.04379 150 118 25 7
757 Is this contagious? 1.2600 0.04480 150 119 23 8
758 Everything feels pointless. 1.2597 0.04400 154 122 24 8
759 am still here in case you need a thorn in your side ! 1.2595 0.04132 158 123 29 6
760 Gesundheit Dude! 1.2595 0.04229 158 124 27 7
761 Don't worry hon, premature defoliation is common in cacti your age. 1.2593 0.04513 162 131 20 11
762 I told you Ozempic has side effects. 1.2593 0.04427 162 130 22 10
763 I don’t know what’s worse - the sunburn or the razor burn. 1.2593 0.04339 162 129 24 9
764 You should put some aloe on it. 1.2593 0.04427 162 130 22 10
765 Honestly, the smoother skin doesn't make you look younger. 1.2590 0.04092 166 130 29 7
766 Told you nair was a bad idea. 1.2590 0.04180 166 131 27 8
767 You're still a prick. 1.2588 0.04517 170 139 18 13
768 True, but do you really feel like a cucumber? 1.2588 0.04197 170 135 26 9
769 Look on the bright side . You’re more huggable. 1.2586 0.03967 174 136 31 7
770 This ain’t a nudist beach y’all! 1.2583 0.04742 151 123 17 11
771 Have you been masturbating? 1.2581 0.04742 155 127 16 12
772 Don't sweat it. Spineless is popular these days. 1.2581 0.04179 155 121 28 6
773 I didn’t know we could cough. 1.2579 0.04391 159 127 23 9
774 I liked you better when you were prickly. 1.2579 0.04299 159 126 25 8
775 This is so embarrassing for you 1.2579 0.04655 159 130 17 12
776 That was a close shave. 1.2575 0.04158 167 132 27 8
777 Ehy, if you can't handle even a little scare, you shouldn't have asked me to get your hiccups out. 1.2573 0.04007 171 134 30 7
778 I don’t think that’s what she meant with: be less fo a prick” Cc @fatu 1.2573 0.04092 171 135 28 8
779 What did I tell you? Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate! 1.2569 0.04700 144 116 19 9
780 Maybe acupuncture just isn't your thing if you're afraid of needles. 1.2569 0.04152 144 111 29 4
781 You really need to stop being so spineless. 1.2566 0.04328 152 120 25 7
782 You've got to stay hydrated! 1.2564 0.03951 156 120 32 4
783 It's not all bad. Your succulent humor is no longer prickly. 1.2564 0.04444 156 125 22 9
784 That’s not what they mean by ‘let your defenses down’… 1.2564 0.04349 156 124 24 8
785 I was wrong. You look better dressed. 1.2563 0.04543 160 130 19 11
786 One word: combover. 1.2561 0.04022 164 128 30 6
787 I told you “needleless Botox” was too good to be true. 1.2560 0.04305 168 135 23 10
788 I don't think you can walk away from this. 1.2553 0.04434 141 111 24 6
789 You’ll get there. You just have to get past the itchy stage. 1.2553 0.04053 188 151 26 11
790 I don't mean to be a prick, Walter, but this isn't actually a nude beach. 1.2550 0.04275 149 117 26 6
791 Have you tried cutting out sugar? 1.2550 0.04483 149 119 22 8
792 I'd say you were spineless, but what would be the point 1.2549 0.04303 153 121 25 7
793 What are ya , some kinda spineless pacifist ? 1.2549 0.04593 153 124 19 10
794 How many times have I told you…moisturize! 1.2549 0.04303 153 121 25 7
795 It just means you have high levels of testosterone. 1.2548 0.04325 157 125 24 8
796 That was some fart. 1.2548 0.04418 157 126 22 9
797 I can name several: Marlon Brando, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, and Yul Brynner. 1.2547 0.04342 161 129 23 9
798 I told you never stifle a sneeze. 1.2545 0.04181 165 131 26 8
799 Still trying to be a Smooth Operator? 1.2545 0.04181 165 131 26 8
800 What ya expect for 2 bits! 1.2544 0.04199 169 135 25 9
801 This is a hold-up. Don't move. 1.2544 0.04282 169 136 23 10
802 Isn’t that something? All these years, I thought they were called ‘needles.’ 1.2541 0.04165 185 150 23 12
803 Hands up! Now drop the needles. 1.2536 0.04831 138 112 17 9
804 At least David Attenborough noticed you. He didn’t even look at me. 1.2535 0.04291 142 111 26 5
805 But look at the positive: you’re still a giant phallus, just not as threatening. 1.2533 0.04456 150 120 22 8
806 I'm telling Mom! 1.2533 0.04652 150 122 18 10
807 Well golly goodness! You know, I’ve never seen a cactus sneeze before… 1.2533 0.04144 150 117 28 5
808 Sorry buddy, I didn't mean to sneak up on you like that. 1.2533 0.04144 150 117 28 5
809 Just wear a hat, Carl, and no one will notice! 1.2532 0.04472 154 124 21 9
810 You need to grow a spine,Buddy 1.2532 0.04178 154 121 27 6
811 Close your eyes and no one can see you. 1.2532 0.04206 158 125 26 7
812 Oh no! Aloeverapecia! 1.2532 0.04206 158 125 26 7
813 I know you’re upset that I called you prickly, but this was sort of a drastic response. 1.2531 0.04043 162 127 29 6
814 Hey Paul, no need to be upset. You're not as sharp as you used be, but at least you're ... not dead yet. 1.2530 0.04070 166 131 28 7
815 Were you a cucumber this all time? 1.2529 0.04111 174 139 26 9
816 On the bright side, think of the hugs. 1.2529 0.04422 174 143 18 13
817 With some big sunglasses no one will notice 1.2529 0.03946 174 137 30 7
818 You need to practice your needlework 1.2517 0.04598 143 115 20 8
819 Dude, you gotta wear protection these days. 1.2517 0.04598 143 115 20 8
820 That’s why you don’t hold in farts” 1.2517 0.04808 143 117 16 10
821 I told you to call your horticulturist. 1.2517 0.04429 151 121 22 8
822 We can make it work. 1.2516 0.04254 155 123 25 7
823 Aloe-pecia is nothing to be ashamed of 1.2516 0.04458 159 129 20 10
824 Never say "surprise me" to your stylist. 1.2516 0.04368 159 128 22 9
825 But look on the bright side, you've given real meaning to the concept of a "thorny problem." 1.2515 0.03986 171 135 29 7
826 Never mess with a porcupine. 1.2515 0.04155 171 137 25 9
827 why are you naked? 1.2500 0.04096 152 119 28 5
828 I couldn't help but notice that you've been spending a lot of time with that balloon artist lately. 1.2500 0.03988 152 118 30 4
829 Allergies? 1.2500 0.04548 140 112 21 7
830 It's okay Frank, a lot of guys lose their needles when they get scared. 1.2500 0.04421 156 126 21 9
831 You shouldn't act so surprised. 1.2500 0.04296 128 99 26 3
832 Yes, Harold, you can now be hugged by little children, but did you stop to think what the older ones might do to you? 1.2500 0.04182 164 131 25 8
833 Well it makes you more huggable? 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
834 Now you look like an armed dill pickle. 1.2500 0.04252 160 128 24 8
835 You might have overdone it with the Nair, Bob. 1.2500 0.04448 168 138 18 12
836 At least you won’t have to endure prick jokes anymore. 1.2500 0.04570 144 116 20 8
837 You dumb ass! You did that just for the audition? 1.2500 0.04130 156 123 27 6
838 Are you SURE you read the label on the bottle? 1.2500 0.04084 180 145 25 10
839 You know a buddy of mine just got plugs... 1.2500 0.04519 136 108 22 6
840 … like a Christmas tree in February! 1.2500 0.03989 176 140 28 8
841 You know what they say, “cactus makes perfect” 1.2500 0.04403 152 122 22 8
842 damn dude that’s long covid 1.2486 0.04049 177 142 26 9
843 oh man, you've lost all ur edge" 1.2486 0.04029 173 138 27 8
844 I can finally say it: the quill combover wasn't fooling anyone. 1.2485 0.04093 169 135 26 8
845 You need to grow some spines. 1.2485 0.03917 169 133 30 6
846 I’m sorry for calling you a “spineless coward” earlier… I didn’t mean it. 1.2485 0.04093 169 135 26 8
847 I told you streaking isn't the same if you're immobile! 1.2484 0.04496 161 132 18 11
848 That doesn't make you look any younger 1.2484 0.04395 157 127 21 9
849 It’s ok, bald is so in right now. 1.2484 0.04107 157 124 27 6
850 I’m not cleaning that up! 1.2484 0.04072 153 120 28 5
851 It only works if we both do it. And I'm just not into, 'that'. 1.2484 0.04072 153 120 28 5
852 So would you classify yourself as bald or naked? 1.2483 0.04541 145 117 20 8
853 Look on the bright side. You'll be huggable. 1.2482 0.04519 141 113 21 7
854 I guess that's why we wave instead of backslap. 1.2482 0.04519 141 113 21 7
855 Look at it this way. Putting on sunblock will be a lot easier. 1.2482 0.04169 141 110 27 4
856 Sorry, bro, didn't mean to scare you like that. 1.2481 0.04453 133 105 23 5
857 Oops, I didn’t mean to catch you getting dressed. 1.2471 0.03839 174 137 31 6
858 I'm sorry dear, but our relationship has become more and more pointless. 1.2471 0.04071 170 136 26 8
859 Nobody notices if you comb it over. 1.2468 0.03984 158 124 29 5
860 Hey, anyone who draws a sun like that isn't going to get your spines right, either. 1.2468 0.04352 154 124 22 8
861 No, yeah, it uh, it looks great man. Going a little bald up top, just makes sense to shave it all off. Yep. 1.2467 0.04116 150 118 27 5
862 It will be okay. The shock is normal, it’s an election year. It’s hard for us all. 1.2467 0.03893 150 116 31 3
863 Trump just won the election! 1.2467 0.04530 150 122 19 9
864 I think it's your pose. 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
865 No, you are not coming near me until you get some protection. 1.2463 0.05018 134 111 13 10
866 You will never be a pickle. 1.2456 0.03964 171 136 28 7
867 I asked for a trim 🥲 1.2455 0.04201 167 135 23 9
868 I've never seen anyone take 'Stick 'em up and drop your weapons' so literally. 1.2453 0.04525 159 131 17 11
869 Honestly, that's not what I meant when I said you were spineless! 1.2452 0.04026 155 122 28 5
870 It’s okay Sal, hair plugs don’t always take. 1.2452 0.04128 155 123 26 6
871 I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you. 1.2452 0.04128 155 123 26 6
872 Does that happen every fall? 1.2450 0.04092 151 119 27 5
873 I'm sorry, I really was told it skips a generation. 1.2450 0.04303 151 121 23 7
874 You're in quite the pickle, aren't you? 1.2448 0.03997 143 111 29 3
875 It’s not that noticeable… it’s just a little bald spot. 1.2448 0.04571 143 116 19 8
876 On the bright side you can hug the tourists. 1.2446 0.04548 139 112 20 7
877 We'll laugh about this in 150 years. 1.2446 0.04190 139 109 26 4
878 It happens to lots of guys! 1.2446 0.04772 139 114 16 9
879 I said save yourself, not shave yourself. 1.2446 0.04548 139 112 20 7
880 Stop being such a people pleaser. 1.2444 0.04394 135 107 23 5
881 I guess the rumor about a deranged barber on the loose was actually true. 1.2443 0.04735 131 106 18 7
882 Boo! 1.2437 0.04135 160 128 25 7
883 You don’t have to be here. You’re a cucumber. 1.2437 0.04321 160 130 21 9
884 I'm sorry. I should've said 'spoiler alert.' 1.2437 0.04229 160 129 23 8
885 ‘I still prefer a full bush’ 1.2436 0.04397 156 127 20 9
886 I told you, you may not like the look after manscaping! 1.2434 0.04277 152 122 23 7
887 Face it Ralph, you knew the Rogaine wasn't going to work forever. 1.2431 0.04434 144 116 21 7
888 Stop freaking out! It's just an eclipse. 1.2431 0.04324 144 115 23 6
889 I’m not just the president, I’m also a member! 1.2426 0.04608 136 110 19 7
890 i only suggested maybe taking a little off the top 1.2426 0.04071 169 136 25 8
891 Going for a sleek look, Simon? 1.2424 0.04046 165 132 26 7
892 Oh darling, this is a thorny issue that is rather not discussed. 1.2424 0.03859 165 130 30 5
893 There goes our cactus disguise! It’s back to the saguaro zucchini farm for both of us. 1.2424 0.04824 132 108 16 8
894 Cheer up, I was only kidding when I called you spineless. 1.2424 0.03954 165 131 28 6
895 Does alopecia run in your family? 1.2420 0.04180 157 126 24 7
896 Look at the upside. You’re a lot more approachable now. 1.2418 0.03827 153 119 31 3
897 You missed a few. 1.2418 0.04150 153 122 25 6
898 Your grandfather must have been a cucumber. 1.2418 0.04546 153 126 17 10
899 I'm tired and haven't shaved in 3 days, and your mother in law is here. Sorry I snapped. 1.2416 0.04001 149 117 28 4
900 I didn’t think I would scare you THAT BAD! 1.2416 0.04113 149 118 26 5
901 The nude desert is that way. 1.2414 0.04514 145 118 19 8
902 Things now just seem pointless . . . 1.2414 0.04308 174 144 18 12
903 On the bright side, they were right, it looks like you gained a few inches. 1.2412 0.03874 170 135 29 6
904 Brian - I know I said "Don't be a pr*ck, but...." 1.2411 0.04490 141 114 20 7
905 On the bright side, no one can call you a massive prick anymore. 1.2411 0.04490 141 114 20 7
906 Well, I guess you can take ‘prickly personality’ off your dating profile. 1.2410 0.04202 166 135 22 9
907 usually this kind of thing skips a generation 1.2407 0.03695 162 126 33 3
908 High five!! 1.2403 0.04769 129 105 17 7
909 Ok, maybe it’s too soon to meet my parents. 1.2403 0.04371 129 102 23 4
910 It must be aloe-pecia. 1.2403 0.04228 154 124 23 7
911 Needless to say, I should have knocked. 1.2400 0.04302 150 121 22 7
912 If we live long enough, we’ll all be bald. 1.2400 0.04197 150 120 24 6
913 You seem less prickly since you started meditating. 1.2397 0.04380 146 118 21 7
914 I would suggest a lot of sunscreen. 1.2397 0.04159 146 116 25 5
915 Yes, obviously I was standing here the whole time! 1.2394 0.04232 142 113 24 5
916 With you I am defenseless 1.2394 0.04232 142 113 24 5
917 You might wanna get that checked out, buddy 1.2391 0.04430 138 111 21 6
918 Trust me, this is best way for an actress to get noticed in Hollywood. 1.2391 0.04430 138 111 21 6
919 Sorry dear. Next time I won't sneak up on you so suddenly. 1.2390 0.03936 159 126 28 5
920 I said "spread em" not "shed em" ! 1.2388 0.04261 134 106 24 4
921 It’s all part of aging. 1.2387 0.04102 155 124 25 6
922 He might not win. 1.2387 0.04203 155 125 23 7
923 Karma. 1.2387 0.04302 155 126 21 8
924 where did you wax? 1.2384 0.04064 151 120 26 5
925 I said I wasn’t pricklish! 1.2384 0.04276 151 122 22 7
926 Your points are just not valid. 1.2381 0.04663 147 122 15 10
927 Don't worry, it works for Bezos. 1.2381 0.04704 126 102 18 6
928 I would suggest holding in your sneeze next time. 1.2381 0.04245 147 118 23 6
929 You…you accidentally grabbed the Nair instead of the shampoo again, huh? 1.2381 0.04325 168 139 18 11
930 Sorry! Didn't mean to startle you! 1.2378 0.04136 164 133 23 8
931 You still have a little prick. 1.2378 0.04543 143 117 18 8
932 Is this all because our kids said you were unapproachable. 1.2378 0.04321 143 115 22 6
933 Nothing a li’l Rogaine can’t handle. 1.2373 0.03927 177 143 26 8
934 Don't worry about it, you look like Vin Diesel. 1.2372 0.03976 156 124 27 5
935 You used to be such a prick. 1.2372 0.04179 156 126 23 7
936 i hate to be a stickler for detail,but….. 1.2370 0.04362 135 108 22 5
937 I warned you not to be so spineless. 1.2370 0.04608 135 110 18 7
938 I don’t think this is what she meant by ‘letting your guard down’. 1.2370 0.04608 135 110 18 7
939 Now maybe you’ll listen to me. Water is good for you. 1.2370 0.04070 173 141 23 9
940 You said you were half porcupine on your mom's side, was it? 1.2370 0.03633 173 136 33 4
941 I’ll get the glue. 1.2368 0.04251 152 123 22 7
942 I'll try to stop sneaking up on you. 1.2368 0.03819 152 119 30 3
943 Your mother-in-law's plane landed early. She's on her way here. 1.2368 0.04251 152 123 22 7
944 Did your spines desert you? 1.2368 0.03931 152 120 28 4
945 So, this is how I die. 1.2368 0.04147 152 122 24 6
946 Of course I need a shave, I’ve been out in the desert for weeks. 1.2368 0.04251 152 123 22 7
947 It's hereditary, Carl. Just shave the rest of them off. 1.2365 0.04219 148 119 23 6
948 Don’t worry, it’ll grow back. 1.2365 0.03995 148 117 27 4
949 Why won't you touch me anymore? 1.2365 0.04108 148 118 25 5
950 My shadow scared you?! You really are spineless, Carl 1.2362 0.04931 127 105 14 8
951 I told you not to sneeze so hard! 1.2361 0.04294 144 116 22 6
952 Really, it's no big deal! We can just cuddle. 1.2361 0.04725 144 120 14 10
953 Jeremy, put your clothes on before those tourists walk by! 1.2360 0.04087 161 130 24 7
954 I said don’t panic!” 1.2357 0.04373 140 113 21 6
955 Prickly heat? 1.2357 0.03953 157 125 27 5
956 Well, there's always Rogaine! 1.2353 0.03909 153 121 28 4
957 It wasn´t sunblock, it was depilatory cream 1.2353 0.04326 153 125 20 8
958 I told you not to use that aloe vera stuff... 1.2353 0.04333 136 109 22 5
959 You'll be sorry you didn't leave some on there. 1.2353 0.03682 153 119 32 2
960 I still love you, honey 1.2349 0.03515 166 129 35 2
961 Don't worry. The sheriff has a needle-exchange program. 1.2349 0.04404 149 122 19 8
962 Honestly, I don’t care. Just pay your half of the rent on time. 1.2349 0.04193 149 120 23 6
963 Yes, you do look skinnier, but it wasn't a sharp move. 1.2348 0.04416 132 106 21 5
964 Well at least it's DRY heat 1.2348 0.04670 132 108 17 7
965 Sorry - didn't mean to sneak up behind you... 1.2346 0.03871 162 129 28 5
966 Been there, but only in a dream. 1.2345 0.04378 145 118 20 7
967 I have a joke that would knock your needles off but I see you already heard it! 1.2345 0.04486 145 119 18 8
968 And I always thought you were such a prick 1.2345 0.04486 145 119 18 8
969 That won't bring the tree-huggers. 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
970 it’s pretty common. Actually, 1 in 4 cactuses have it 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
971 Whoa! Didn’t mean to sneak up on you like that, Steve. 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
972 "If it is any consolation, I bet the birds are now going to find you much more attractive. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
973 TRUMP WON!” “I'm sorry I didn't mean to creep up behind and scare your needles off! I was just kidding!!! 1.2342 0.04322 158 130 19 9
974 Four names: Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel, Jason Statham, Tyson Beckford. You're welcome. 1.2340 0.04227 141 113 23 5
975 I do care about climate change - I just manage my stress differently. 1.2340 0.04461 141 115 19 7
976 You're going to regret shaving when it grows back prickly! 1.2340 0.04346 141 114 21 6
977 It was the Nair, wasn’t it? 1.2340 0.04461 141 115 19 7
978 Seriously, how could I startle you? I’ve been back here for years. 1.2338 0.04679 154 130 12 12
979 May I suggest Rogaine 1.2338 0.03775 154 121 30 3
980 It’s from your mom’s side of the family. 1.2338 0.03886 154 122 28 4
981 Dude, not in public. 1.2336 0.04664 137 113 16 8
982 Well, you're not a prick anymore. 1.2336 0.04888 137 115 12 10
983 I think they'll know you're on Ozemprick. 1.2336 0.04888 137 115 12 10
984 I told you not to get a wax job 1.2331 0.04135 163 133 22 8
985 Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you Bob. 1.2331 0.04514 133 108 19 6
986 Not sure that's how you spell "needless"... 1.2329 0.04351 146 119 20 7
987 'Oh my! Sorry Norman, I didn't mean to sneak up on you.' 1.2327 0.03806 159 126 29 4
988 When I said you have to let your guard down, that’s not what I meant. 1.2326 0.04152 172 142 20 10
989 Listen - I’m sorry. I really thought you were gay. 1.2326 0.04606 129 105 18 6
990 I never considered you as spineless, but I guess I was wrong.” 1.2326 0.04606 129 105 18 6
991 Does premature baldness run in your family? 1.2324 0.04201 142 114 23 5
992 You've got a few left, just so you know. 1.2324 0.04080 142 113 25 4
993 You don't have to copy everything you see on Pornhub 1.2323 0.03971 155 124 26 5
994 Seriously…you look taller. 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
995 Sorry. A little tumbleweed will cover that up. 1.2319 0.04517 138 113 18 7
996 At least nobody will be calling you a prick. 1.2319 0.04277 138 111 22 5
997 I warned you... manscaping is for MEN, not cactuses! 1.2318 0.04036 151 121 25 5
998 Did your mom's dad lose his spikes too? 1.2318 0.04249 151 123 21 7
999 They have an app for that. 1.2317 0.03926 164 132 26 6
1000 Wbo's spineless now? 1.2314 0.04354 121 96 22 3
1001 Why do you worry so needlessly? 1.2313 0.04324 147 120 20 7
1002 Stop it: We are not supposed to need much attention." 1.2313 0.04324 147 120 20 7
1003 Oh Larry this is terrible. I never imagined the Ozempic craze would bring the needle shortage to our neighborhood. 1.2313 0.04431 147 121 18 8
1004 Oh, I'm sure it'll grow back! 1.2308 0.04441 130 105 20 5
1005 Experience Thicker, Fuller Glochids. 1.2308 0.04291 143 116 21 6
1006 You're just spineless. 1.2308 0.04291 143 116 21 6
1007 I told you not to keep the nair next to the suntan lotion. 1.2308 0.04622 143 119 15 9
1008 Oh my god I told you that bottle that said Nair wasn’t shampoo 1.2308 0.04573 130 106 18 6
1009 Don’t feel bad it’s genetic and doesn’t make you any less of a cactus. 1.2308 0.03667 182 146 30 6
1010 I think you should stop getting your wife to cut your hair 1.2308 0.04347 156 129 18 9
1011 Didn't you hear drinking all that water has been debunked? 1.2303 0.04012 152 122 25 5
1012 I told you that would happen, Louis. If you stay in the GOP, they won't let you keep your spines. 1.2303 0.04325 152 125 19 8
1013 Sorry Calvin. Bald is not virile in my book. 1.2302 0.04370 139 113 20 6
1014 Daylight Saving Time really got you this year, huh? 1.2302 0.04668 126 103 17 6
1015 It’s hereditary. And you still look sharp! 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
1016 Oppy warned us back in ‘45 we wouldn’t know all the side effects for years! 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
1017 Hey, it's not that kind of neighborhood. 1.2302 0.04668 126 103 17 6
1018 Don't worry, Dad. It's not unusual for someone your age. 1.2298 0.04156 161 132 21 8
1019 Honey, that is not what I meant when I said you are too defensive. 1.2297 0.04078 148 119 24 5
1020 Did your mother’s father have all his spikes? 1.2296 0.04454 135 110 19 6
1021 Do you have aloe-pecia? 1.2296 0.04576 135 111 17 7
1022 I told you not to have that 2nd shot of tequila 1.2296 0.04328 135 109 21 5
1023 Sorry, Buddy. It looks like prickly heat. 1.2293 0.04322 157 130 18 9
1024 Bob, it’s been 3 hours I think we need to call the doctor! 1.2293 0.04322 157 130 18 9
1025 OH SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO STARTLE YOU! 1.2292 0.04376 144 118 19 7
1026 You look like you could use a drink. 1.2292 0.04148 144 116 23 5
1027 Okay, so you look a bit like a pickle, but you're my husband and I don't care. 1.2292 0.04030 144 115 25 4
1028 Ok, now the delousing lotion. 1.2290 0.04411 131 106 20 5
1029 Sorry! Didn't mean to startle you! After 75 years I just thought it would be nice to say 'hello.' 1.2286 0.04222 140 113 22 5
1030 sorry, I just wanted to cure your hiccups 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1031 Wear a fedora. She'll never know. 1.2283 0.04768 127 105 15 7
1032 She loves you…She loves you not…She loves you… 1.2283 0.04498 127 103 19 5
1033 Nopale Pattern Baldness 1.2279 0.04171 136 109 23 4
1034 Ah, I wouldn't worry about it too much, Joe. It actually makes you look ten years younger. 1.2279 0.04171 136 109 23 4
1035 Great ! Well, there goes the act ! 1.2276 0.04291 123 98 22 3
1036 I hate to say it now, but that wasn’t why you didn’t make varsity swimming. 1.2276 0.04591 123 100 18 5
1037 It's nothing you did; needle loss is inherited from the mother's side. 1.2276 0.04132 123 97 24 2
1038 Hands up and don't move! 1.2276 0.04005 145 116 25 4
1039 Honey, I was merely suggesting exfoliating. 1.2273 0.04381 132 107 20 5
1040 I’ll get the glue ! No one will ever know ! 1.2273 0.04637 132 109 16 7
1041 Honey, that’s not what I meant about having more tenderness. 1.2270 0.04195 141 114 22 5
1042 I told you, if you shave for a woman you’re leaving yourself exposed! EXPOSED!! 1.2270 0.04072 141 113 24 4
1043 Don’t worry, they’ll grow back. 1.2270 0.04072 141 113 24 4
1044 It's okay honey. Your father had pre mature needle loss too. 1.2270 0.04430 141 116 18 7
1045 Didn't go well at the naturism camp ? 1.2267 0.04246 150 123 20 7
1046 Get over here you spineless coward! 1.2263 0.04271 137 111 21 5
1047 No worries. It will be five O'clock in no time. 1.2263 0.04143 137 110 23 4
1048 Relax!! I'm not with the Border Patrol. 1.2263 0.04633 137 114 15 8
1049 I didn’t mean to scare ya, bud. I've been standing here the whole time. 1.2260 0.04322 146 120 19 7
1050 You need to drink more water, bro. 1.2260 0.04097 146 118 23 5
1051 Yeah, but were you vaxxed? 1.2260 0.03736 146 115 29 2
1052 I heard you just got traded to the Yankees 1.2260 0.03980 146 117 25 4
1053 Holy smokes, they seriously overshot the bikini line! 1.2258 0.04149 155 127 21 7
1054 Don’t worry, I know a porcupine that can give you a transplant. 1.2258 0.04249 155 128 19 8
1055 Not that there is anything wrong with being a succulent. 1.2258 0.04149 155 127 21 7
1056 I told you not to eat all those Brussels sprouts. 1.2258 0.04411 124 100 20 4
1057 Try Rogaine... 1.2258 0.04047 155 126 23 6
1058 You know they have a cream for that now 1.2258 0.04699 124 102 16 6
1059 Have you tried Rogaine? 1.2256 0.04218 133 107 22 4
1060 It gets worse. Soon someone will try to hug you. 1.2254 0.04168 142 115 22 5
1061 Bummer, but at least you know what it’s like to be pointless! 1.2254 0.04047 142 114 24 4
1062 See it as a chance to have more skin in the game. 1.2254 0.04287 142 116 20 6
1063 Well look at it this way...you'll be easier to find in a haystack! 1.2248 0.04296 129 104 21 4
1064 So long for following Oppenheimer's steps to Los Alamos 1.2246 0.04715 138 116 13 9
1065 I warned you that film would send a chill down your spines. 1.2246 0.04243 138 112 21 5
1066 You can thank your maternal grandfather for that. 1.2245 0.04402 147 122 17 8
1067 At least now you can claim to be "people friendly." 1.2244 0.03813 156 125 27 4
1068 We can become special you said. Joining the Army is the best thing for us you said. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
1069 You missed a spot. 1.2241 0.04429 116 93 20 3
1070 Look at it this way, you're more huggable. 1.2241 0.04596 116 94 18 4
1071 Your chiropractor did not seem to help. But don't worry, I'll call my spine surgeon 1.2240 0.03913 125 98 26 1
1072 I'm sorry, but we're done. There is no more cact-us. Only cact-i. 1.2240 0.04801 125 104 14 7
1073 Look at it this way, you’re not so much of a prick! 1.2240 0.04801 125 104 14 7
1074 Maybe this is an opportunity to practice body positivity. 1.2239 0.04449 134 110 18 6
1075 I guess I can’t call you a prick anymore. 1.2239 0.04574 134 111 16 7
1076 Climate change got you stressed? 1.2238 0.04485 143 119 16 8
1077 I see london I see France I see…. 1.2238 0.04373 143 118 18 7
1078 When I complained that you're too prickly, I didn't mean it literally. Wait, that can't be right... 1.2231 0.04310 121 97 21 3
1079 It's the testosterone, Big Guy. 1.2231 0.04310 121 97 21 3
1080 I thought they were just going to take a little off the top! 1.2231 0.04619 121 99 17 5
1081 You can comb it over. 1.2231 0.04619 121 99 17 5
1082 I said, 'Check your spelling'. Your sign read "Shave the Prairie Cactus. 1.2231 0.04766 121 100 15 6
1083 Maybe now you'll quit needling me so much. 1.2231 0.04125 130 104 23 3
1084 I knew you were spineless. 1.2230 0.04090 139 112 23 4
1085 It happens to every guy at one time or another. 1.2230 0.04337 139 114 19 6
1086 "Who's the prick?" 1.2222 0.04027 135 108 24 3
1087 Sorry, I should cover my mouth when I sneeze. 1.2222 0.04346 144 119 18 7
1088 Careful, You could put out someone's eye with a sneeze like that. 1.2222 0.03959 153 124 24 5
1089 I knew you were utterly spineless. 1.2222 0.04200 126 101 22 3
1090 ‘I am pregnant… I think we should get married’ 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1091 I think it's time you see someone about that aloprickcia. 1.2222 0.04346 144 119 18 7
1092 With a figure like yours, who needs prickles? 1.2222 0.04492 126 103 18 5
1093 I'd give anything for a hug. 1.2222 0.04492 126 103 18 5
1094 Its not contagious I swear 1.2222 0.04419 135 111 18 6
1095 Three to four weeks of redness, itching, bumps, stubble. You okay with that? I'm not. No more brazilians! 1.2215 0.04348 149 124 17 8
1096 Oh, stop being so spineless. 1.2215 0.04134 149 122 21 6
1097 Maybe the point is that there is no point 1.2214 0.04309 140 115 19 6
1098 What just happened Frank? You look scared prickless! 1.2214 0.04427 140 116 17 7
1099 It's just something that can happen when you turn 150. 1.2214 0.04309 140 115 19 6
1100 Are you going on a date? 1.2214 0.04064 140 113 23 4
1101 Yeah you could try to comb it over… 1.2214 0.04760 131 110 13 8
1102 You're in a pickle now! 1.2214 0.04374 131 107 19 5
1103 Sorry to startle you… I thought it was time I said hello. 1.2214 0.04238 131 106 21 4
1104 You could try startling a porcupine. 1.2213 0.04730 122 101 15 6
1105 And what position does this ‘liberating’ new religion take on spf? 1.2212 0.04986 113 94 13 6
1106 It’s inherited through your mother’s side of the family. 1.2208 0.03826 154 124 26 4
1107 When I said to shake it off that’s not what I meant. 1.2206 0.04134 136 110 22 4
1108 Is this the appropriate time to mention that your mother was a real cucumber? 1.2206 0.04134 136 110 22 4
1109 Sorry, I can be a prick sometimes. 1.2206 0.04748 136 115 12 9
1110 Stick 'em up! Oh sorry, didn't mean to startle you. 1.2206 0.04512 136 113 16 7
1111 It's just the primary! Chill out! 1.2206 0.04264 136 111 20 5
1112 That's right,walk away. I always knew you were spineless! 1.2205 0.04598 127 105 16 6
1113 I'm not just a spokesman, I'm a customer. 1.2205 0.04598 127 105 16 6
1114 I was kidding when I said this is a holdup! 1.2205 0.04460 127 104 18 5
1115 Missed a spot… 1.2205 0.04170 127 102 22 3
1116 Parting is such sweet Saguaro 1.2205 0.04170 127 102 22 3
1117 spineless or spine loss, that is the question. 1.2203 0.04016 118 93 24 1
1118 I hope it's not catching. 1.2200 0.03885 150 121 25 4
1119 Well that’s a thorny problem. 1.2199 0.04398 141 117 17 7
1120 OMG your naked! 1.2199 0.04038 141 114 23 4
1121 Next time Harold just ask for a trim. 1.2197 0.04344 132 108 19 5
1122 You seem a bit startled at the weather report. 1.2197 0.03924 132 105 25 2
1123 I know a good wig place. 1.2197 0.04344 132 108 19 5
1124 Was your mother's father bald? 1.2197 0.04475 132 109 17 6
1125 It's a lot better than that combover. 1.2197 0.04344 132 108 19 5
1126 Oh, no! You're suddenly so affable! 1.2195 0.04402 123 100 19 4
1127 Have you tried aloe? 1.2195 0.03873 164 134 24 6
1128 Bodybuilder? 1.2195 0.04402 123 100 19 4
1129 There's a cream for that. 1.2195 0.04402 123 100 19 4
1130 What's the point of that? 1.2192 0.04180 146 120 20 6
1131 It’s just a phase 1.2192 0.03826 146 117 26 3
1132 Carla, did you mistake the Nair for sunscreen? 1.2190 0.04107 137 111 22 4
1133 you never stripped for me! 1.2190 0.04482 137 114 16 7
1134 Whoa. That scared you stickless. 1.2190 0.04236 137 112 20 5
1135 No one thinks you’re a prick. 1.2188 0.04428 128 105 18 5
1136 Now … bend down an’ hand over them needles. 1.2185 0.04491 119 97 18 4
1137 Hands up, drop your weapon! 1.2185 0.04647 119 98 16 5
1138 Tell me you didnt just Reply All 1.2183 0.04483 142 119 15 8
1139 I warned you! If you didn't get vaccinated that first sneeze would cost you all your protection. 1.2180 0.04571 133 111 15 7
1140 Don’t move - there’s a spider on your back! 1.2180 0.04314 133 109 19 5
1141 Have you tried not thinking about it? 1.2180 0.04314 133 109 19 5
1142 I hear it’s from your mother’s side. 1.2180 0.03898 133 106 25 2
1143 No, Harold, it's okay! First it all falls out, then it grows back thicker and pricklier. 1.2179 0.04197 156 130 18 8
1144 You used the wrong shampoo. 1.2179 0.03890 156 127 24 5
1145 Don’t worry Timmy, it’s being prickly on the inside that matters 1.2177 0.04217 124 100 21 3
1146 Looks like something just sent a shiver down your spines? 1.2177 0.04217 124 100 21 3
1147 They say it’s a sign of intelligence. 1.2177 0.04517 124 102 17 5
1148 I told you Ozempic was bad news! 1.2177 0.03923 147 119 24 4
1149 The tourists play tricks, but they keep the local economy afloat. 1.2174 0.04240 115 92 21 2
1150 Have you seen a dermatologist? 1.2174 0.04332 138 114 18 6
1151 Who told you it would make you look bigger? 1.2174 0.03949 138 111 24 3
1152 Oh, I won’t needle you. 1.2174 0.04416 115 93 19 3
1153 The label said it had side effects! 1.2174 0.04208 138 113 20 5
1154 hair fall is part of aging 1.2174 0.03949 138 111 24 3
1155 Curtis the Cowardly Cactus took being spineless quite literally 1.2171 0.03951 152 124 23 5
1156 It’s not that I want to be so prickly, I was just born this way. 1.2171 0.04257 129 105 20 4
1157 um... excuse me, I think you dropped something. 1.2168 0.04227 143 118 19 6
1158 I'm stressed. 1.2168 0.03732 143 114 27 2
1159 Puberty is different for us, son. 1.2168 0.03987 143 116 23 4
1160 I always knew you were a spineless bastard Larry… 1.2168 0.04342 143 119 17 7
1161 If Chris Rock says anything I'll bitch slap him. 1.2167 0.04611 120 99 16 5
1162 I think it actually makes you seem more approachable. 1.2167 0.04457 120 98 18 4
1163 Sorry. But are your hiccups gone? 1.2162 0.05184 111 94 10 7
1164 See a therapist, Kevin. 1.2162 0.04322 111 89 20 2
1165 Dude, it was only a tumbleweed... 1.2160 0.04484 125 103 17 5
1166 It's okay . It happens to us all at a certain age. 1.2158 0.04054 139 113 22 4
1167 What i said was , given our situation , having an existential crisis at this moment is totally pointless . 1.2158 0.04303 139 115 18 6
1168 Relax. In other species it's cosmetic, not a medical problem. 1.2155 0.04382 116 94 19 3
1169 Looks like there actually is a place where the sun don't shine. 1.2154 0.04227 130 106 20 4
1170 May I borrow your razor? 1.2154 0.04366 130 107 18 5
1171 You'll be fine, unless Chris Rock is coming to Texas. 1.2154 0.04366 130 107 18 5
1172 Sorry mate, didn’t mean to scare ya… 1.2154 0.03781 130 103 26 1
1173 I think it’s the 5G 1.2154 0.04084 130 105 22 3
1174 Boo! Oh, sorry Walter. 1.2149 0.04725 121 101 14 6
1175 Oh so you got your Brazilian wax, and now you're to good for me? 1.2149 0.04265 121 98 20 3
1176 Have you tried Ozempic? 1.2149 0.04577 121 100 16 5
1177 I’ll… come back later. 1.2149 0.04424 121 99 18 4
1178 Stress can do that to you. 1.2148 0.04124 135 110 21 4
1179 Well, I can tell you’re not a prick anymore. 1.2148 0.04256 135 111 19 5
1180 Promote it, Dude - The New Look! 1.2148 0.03634 149 119 28 2
1181 Fine, don't shake on it. 1.2143 0.04452 126 104 17 5
1182 That's not what I meant when I told you to stop being a prick. 1.2143 0.04509 140 118 14 8
1183 I think it’s Alopecia. 1.2143 0.04153 140 115 20 5
1184 don't tell me you joined the Republicans? 1.2143 0.04509 140 118 14 8
1185 Bald, bold and bright eyed. It suits you 1.2143 0.04275 140 116 18 6
1186 Haven't you heard? The shaved head look is in. 1.2143 0.03681 154 124 27 3
1187 why is your rash my fault? 1.2143 0.04157 126 102 21 3
1188 Don’t worry, maybe you could become a competitive swimmer. 1.2143 0.04157 126 102 21 3
1189 You may not be as sharp but you’re still cute. 1.2143 0.04307 126 103 19 4
1190 Did you just prick your pants? 1.2143 0.04394 140 117 16 7
1191 They meant 'you’ve got a little prick' as a compliment; no need to shed all your needles! 1.2143 0.04157 126 102 21 3
1192 How was laser therapy? 1.2137 0.03908 131 105 24 2
1193 Cheer up. I hear bald is trending 1.2137 0.03908 131 105 24 2
1194 Allergy season huh? 1.2137 0.04336 131 108 18 5
1195 I told you not to get vaccinated! 1.2137 0.04469 131 109 16 6
1196 Sun allergy? 1.2137 0.04336 131 108 18 5
1197 Would a hug help? 1.2137 0.04469 131 109 16 6
1198 You aren't such a prick after all. 1.2137 0.04830 117 98 13 6
1199 At least your tan will be even. 1.2133 0.03735 150 121 26 3
1200 You've got to work on your fear of needles 1.2133 0.03967 150 123 22 5
1201 No no, I totally get it. This election has me frazzled. 1.2133 0.03967 150 123 22 5
1202 Just because I said I want to hug you doesn’t mean I can. 1.2132 0.03962 136 110 23 3
1203 I’m so sorry! I was sure you heard me coming 30 years ago. 1.2132 0.03822 136 109 25 2
1204 I warned you not using sunblock could lead to alopecia. 1.2132 0.04478 136 114 15 7
1205 Don’t worry about those pricks 1.2132 0.04228 136 112 19 5
1206 It's not that kind of party, Herbert 1.2131 0.04542 122 101 16 5
1207 A Thorn in my side is all that you will ever Be! 1.2131 0.04542 122 101 16 5
1208 I'm pregnant. 1.2130 0.04753 108 89 15 4
1209 Laser hair removal really did a number on you.” @t.robotso 1.2130 0.05104 108 91 11 6
1210 I think people are more likely to give us a wave than a hug. 1.2129 0.03882 155 127 23 5
1211 Of all the places to build a helipad. 1.2128 0.04127 141 116 20 5
1212 I always said you were spineless 1.2128 0.04002 141 115 22 4
1213 Gertrude, you seem to have overdone it in the depilation department! 1.2128 0.04127 141 116 20 5
1214 Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you prickless. 1.2128 0.04248 141 117 18 6
1215 Harold, you're still sharp in the mind, and that's what counts. 1.2126 0.04420 127 105 17 5
1216 Look, you've gotten out of pricklier situations before. 1.2126 0.04276 127 104 19 4
1217 Nobody’s gonna notice… 1.2126 0.04276 127 104 19 4
1218 It's *not* a nudist camp. 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
1219 This is pointless. 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
1220 That gene runs on your mother’s side 1.2123 0.03913 146 119 23 4
1221 It’s not like anyone will notice. 1.2121 0.04028 132 107 22 3
1222 Looks like you’ve been deserted. 1.2121 0.04169 132 108 20 4
1223 Tell me what happened. I'm on pins and needles over here. 1.2119 0.04941 118 100 11 7
1224 Well, at least you aren’t a prick anymore! 1.2119 0.04792 118 99 13 6
1225 I told you the #1 was too short 1.2119 0.04792 118 99 13 6
1226 You're just not made to dance to the Village People. 1.2117 0.04070 137 112 21 4
1227 I think you dropped something... 1.2117 0.04326 137 114 17 6
1228 I’m sorry, I just still wouldn’t describe you as ‘cuddly.’ 1.2117 0.04070 137 112 21 4
1229 I'm not only the president of Spine Club for Men, I'm also a client. 1.2114 0.04509 123 102 16 5
1230 I'm sure it's only temporary. 1.2114 0.04041 123 99 22 2
1231 What's your point? 1.2114 0.04358 123 101 18 4
1232 Not to be a prick… 1.2114 0.04203 123 100 20 3
1233 Have you had enough water? 1.2114 0.04203 123 100 20 3
1234 Well, now we know what happens if I don't say "gesundheit." Lesson learned. 1.2113 0.04100 142 117 20 5
1235 Stay calm. The needle exchange truck is coming by here soon. 1.2109 0.04526 128 107 15 6
1236 Oh my God, that’s what you look like naked?! 1.2109 0.04246 128 105 19 4
1237 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have needled you like that. 1.2109 0.04388 128 106 17 5
1238 Why are you getting naked 1.2109 0.04388 128 106 17 5
1239 How I got myself out of a sticky situation 1.2109 0.03786 128 102 25 1
1240 Sorry, John, but I still think you're a prick. 1.2109 0.04448 147 125 13 9
1241 Are you de-pining for someone again? 1.2109 0.04122 147 122 19 6
1242 At least it's a dry heat... 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
1243 On the other hand, a waterbed makes much more sense now. 1.2105 0.04032 114 91 22 1
1244 If Chris Rock tells a joke about this, Will Smith might slap him. 1.2105 0.04276 133 110 18 5
1245 I always thought that was just a figure of speech. 1.2105 0.04276 133 110 18 5
1246 They're always saying I can be prickly! 1.2105 0.04136 152 127 18 7
1247 This is what needleless worry gets you! 1.2105 0.04574 114 94 16 4
1248 I’m thinking you should consult a Pricktologist. 1.2105 0.04276 133 110 18 5
1249 Think of it this way: now you are huggable. 1.2101 0.04112 119 96 21 2
1250 I think she left you because you lack a spine, Bob. 1.2101 0.04445 119 98 17 4
1251 Sorry. I didn't mean to sneak up on you. 1.2097 0.04172 124 101 20 3
1252 I told you,you worry too much. 1.2097 0.04012 124 100 22 2
1253 Frigg'n Chemo huh? 1.2097 0.04326 124 102 18 4
1254 At least you didn’t wet yourself. 1.2097 0.04326 124 102 18 4
1255 It’ll be okay. Remember what they say; “The difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut is two weeks.” 1.2097 0.04326 124 102 18 4
1256 Don't worry -- it happens as we get older 1.2097 0.04759 124 105 12 7
1257 I didn’t know they grew cacti in Brazil” 1.2097 0.04326 124 102 18 4
1258 Did I scare you? Sorry!!! 1.2093 0.03918 129 104 23 2
1259 …not what I meant when I said to stop being such a prick 1.2093 0.03918 129 104 23 2
1260 I still love you, even though you’re no longer a prick. 1.2092 0.04111 153 128 18 7
1261 That was some sneeze! Maybe it's not my seasonal allergies. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
1262 . "Does it bother you you've gone bald?" 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
1263 You could really use some Rogaine. 1.2090 0.03974 134 109 22 3
1264 It's pointless. 1.2090 0.03974 134 109 22 3
1265 I told you not to raise your hand! 1.2089 0.03815 158 130 23 5
1266 You drink too much! 1.2087 0.04188 115 93 20 2
1267 I said we're known for aloe vera, not alopecia. 1.2087 0.04703 115 96 14 5
1268 This is a prickly situation. 1.2086 0.03885 139 113 23 3
1269 Sorry,Dude, didn't mean to scare you prickless! 1.2086 0.04017 139 114 21 4
1270 I told you Nair wasn’t sunscreen. 1.2086 0.04145 139 115 19 5
1271 Uhh, that’s not what I meant when I said stop being a prick 1.2086 0.04389 139 117 15 7
1272 Shingles doesn’t care 1.2083 0.04568 120 100 15 5
1273 On the bright side, you're going to go viral. 1.2083 0.04568 120 100 15 5
1274 Needleless to say, I didn’t mean to scare ya, pardner ! 1.2083 0.04082 120 97 21 2
1275 Since when are you self-identifying as deciduous? 1.2083 0.04082 120 97 21 2
1276 You just had to try the bikini wax. Didn't you. 1.2080 0.03983 125 101 22 2
1277 It happens to the best of us. 1.2080 0.04142 125 102 20 3
1278 "How about a hug ? " 1.2080 0.04142 125 102 20 3
1279 I reacted the same way to Super Tuesday. 1.2080 0.03818 125 100 24 1
1280 Is this good climate change or bad climate change? 1.2080 0.04142 125 102 20 3
1281 I warned you about vaccinations! 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
1282 I think you'll find that shaving was a bad idea. 1.2079 0.05324 101 86 9 6
1283 All You Really Need Is One 1.2077 0.04042 130 106 21 3
1284 When I said you should just shake it off,I didn't mean literally. 1.2074 0.04348 135 113 16 6
1285 That wasn’t aftershave. That was jalapeño salsa. 1.2074 0.04085 135 111 20 4
1286 My mother always said you were spineless. 1.2072 0.04455 111 91 17 3
1287 Male needle baldness is nothing to be ashamed of Carl. 1.2072 0.04267 111 90 19 2
1288 When I said you were especially prickly, it was a compliment! 1.2072 0.04976 111 94 11 6
1289 Well, at least you didn’t get bangs… 1.2071 0.04241 140 117 17 6
1290 Hey, don’t worry! The same thing happened to me after last year’s Coachella. 1.2069 0.04976 116 99 10 7
1291 Where do you think you're going you spineless coward! 1.2069 0.04474 145 124 12 9
1292 Ozempic? 1.2069 0.03971 116 93 22 1
1293 I think you are overreacting. 1.2069 0.04332 116 95 18 3
1294 Onthe bright side, they weren't keeping the sun off anyway. 1.2069 0.04502 116 96 16 4
1295 Mom told you they’d fall if you did that. 1.2069 0.04665 116 97 14 5
1296 You have the bone structure to support it. 1.2067 0.04046 150 125 19 6
1297 I wouldn’t have done that if I were you; it gets pretty cold at night. 1.2066 0.04378 121 100 17 4
1298 What do you mean you “can’t take the heat”— you spineless prick! 1.2066 0.04218 121 99 19 3
1299 Wow, that pore strip really worked. 1.2066 0.04378 121 100 17 4
1300 It’s a line dance, Fred, not a stickup. 1.2066 0.04378 121 100 17 4
1301 You’ve got to moisturize! 1.2063 0.04264 126 104 18 4
1302 Don't despair --- everyone still loves your prickly personality. 1.2063 0.04264 126 104 18 4
1303 At least you’re no longer a prick. 1.2061 0.04431 131 110 15 6
1304 Needleless to say, you look stressed out. 1.2061 0.04014 131 107 21 3
1305 Supercuts? 1.2061 0.04296 131 109 17 5
1306 I can see that you're vulnerable, maybe we can talk about it later. 1.2057 0.03835 141 115 23 3
1307 New razor working wonders hasn’t it? 1.2057 0.03561 141 113 27 1
1308 OK, so you can throw your quills like a porcupine. Let's see you get them back. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
1309 So, did you or did you not use my razor? 1.2056 0.05268 107 92 8 7
1310 Honey, even without your spines, you still look sharp to me. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
1311 Have you asked your doctor about cactile dysfunction? 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
1312 This is not a hold up. I’m doing a left turn. 1.2054 0.05251 112 97 7 8
1313 Next time, go easy on the moisturizer. 1.2054 0.04597 112 93 15 4
1314 If I told you one time, I told you a 1000 times I need moisture! 1.2054 0.04597 112 93 15 4
1315 When I said "Don't be such a prick!" I didn't mean literally... 1.2051 0.04467 117 97 16 4
1316 Next time spray the sun tan lotion on, don't try to rub it in! 1.2051 0.04785 117 99 12 6
1317 Ozempic is a helluva drug. 1.2051 0.04937 117 100 10 7
1318 Don’t worry, they say it will grow back after the treatments 1.2051 0.04629 117 98 14 5
1319 Manscaping isn't going to get that flower back. 1.2049 0.04346 122 101 17 4
1320 I told you to quit eating lutefisk 1.2049 0.04647 122 103 13 6
1321 You know how many sneezing captions you just inspired? 1.2049 0.04499 122 102 15 5
1322 Prickly Pete? What have you done with your personality? 1.2049 0.04346 122 101 17 4
1323 Give it until 5 o’clock. 1.2049 0.04022 122 99 21 2
1324 Sorry, I thought you were dressed. 1.2047 0.04233 127 105 18 4
1325 I said, ‘Imagine your AUDIENCE naked!’ 1.2047 0.04233 127 105 18 4
1326 Im sorry for being so prickly. I’m just overheated. 1.2047 0.04083 127 104 20 3
1327 Needles, spines, thorns - undressing in public?! 1.2045 0.04530 132 112 13 7
1328 I don't suppress my sneezes 1.2045 0.04267 132 110 17 5
1329 Look on the bright side: you'll finally get a tan. 1.2045 0.03986 132 108 21 3
1330 BOO! ...oops...sorry... 1.2042 0.03940 142 117 21 4
1331 Didn’t mean to sneak up on you. 1.2042 0.03940 142 117 21 4
1332 But now you can hug anyone! 1.2039 0.03535 152 123 27 2
1333 But now you know the chemotherapy is working. 1.2037 0.04511 108 89 16 3
1334 That's what you get for holding it in. 1.2037 0.04699 108 90 14 4
1335 Where were you last night? 1.2035 0.04383 113 93 17 3
1336 dude, trust me-LowT is a beneficial mutation... 1.2034 0.03911 118 95 22 1
1337 I'm concerned about the Joshua Trees too; but this is a little extreme. 1.2034 0.04432 118 98 16 4
1338 Eventually it will happen to all os us. It's just part of getting old. 1.2034 0.04092 118 96 20 2
1339 It's only fashion, your time will come, believe me 1.2034 0.04265 118 97 18 3
1340 Why did you get so scared? It was just a rattlesnake. 1.2031 0.03899 128 104 22 2
1341 Spider up your shorts? 1.2031 0.04203 128 106 18 4
1342 All I said was that you have a prickly personality. 1.2031 0.04054 128 105 20 3
1343 Some chicks dig the bald look 1.2031 0.04347 128 107 16 5
1344 You should try minoxidil 1.2030 0.04100 133 110 19 4
1345 Don't be frightened - it's just a New Yorker reader. 1.2030 0.04237 133 111 17 5
1346 Jose Ceurvo here you come! 1.2030 0.03959 133 109 21 3
1347 I know it's Fall, Barry, but you're a cactus, not a maple tree. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
1348 It’s okay, no one will notice! 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
1349 Is this due to that global warming they have been talking about? 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
1350 Yes, dear, midlife spine loss is a bitch for the male cactus. 1.2028 0.03787 143 117 23 3
1351 Getting the jump on swimsuit season? 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
1352 Oh sh-! Where’s my mask? 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
1353 And next your arms will droop! 1.2018 0.04839 109 92 12 5
1354 You've gotta stand up for yourself! You're so spineless! 1.2018 0.04524 114 95 15 4
1355 Honey, I disagree. You look just like Prince William. 1.2017 0.04233 119 98 18 3
1356 I am Not getting my period . 1.2017 0.04859 119 102 10 7
1357 Don’t be depressed, Roger. Look on the good side. Now you can get tats. 1.2017 0.04711 119 101 12 6
1358 I warned you against shaving! Now you look like a mutant cucumber. 1.2017 0.04061 119 97 20 2
1359 I told you to keep up with your sunscreen. 1.2017 0.04233 119 98 18 3
1360 I didn’t think you’d take it literally when I called you a prick. 1.2017 0.04398 119 99 16 4
1361 Told you not to try and hold it in. 1.2017 0.04061 119 97 20 2
1362 Don't you believe in acupuncture? 1.2017 0.04557 119 100 14 5
1363 Since therapy you've lost your prickly personality. 1.2016 0.04126 124 102 19 3
1364 Needle-less to say, that's a sticking point. 1.2016 0.04126 124 102 19 3
1365 You look taller. 1.2016 0.04126 124 102 19 3
1366 I said I use a moisturizer, NEVER an exfoliant. 1.2016 0.04282 124 103 17 4
1367 Thanks a lot! Now I've got to sneeze, too! 1.2016 0.04282 124 103 17 4
1368 I told you to hydrate! 1.2016 0.03546 129 103 26 0
1369 I think you over-plucked. 1.2016 0.04173 129 107 18 4
1370 Spine alignment was not what I thought it would be 1.2016 0.04173 129 107 18 4
1371 There was no need to go full brazillian 1.2016 0.04718 129 111 10 8
1372 I still think you're sexy. 1.2015 0.04208 134 112 17 5
1373 You've been watching too much Fake Desert News. You're a Cactus, not a cat. You're not supposed to shed. 1.2013 0.04056 154 130 17 7
1374 For an extra $5 I can do your eyebrows and a hot towel. 1.2000 0.04487 115 96 15 4
1375 You used that off brand Aloe - I warned you.... 1.2000 0.03846 130 106 22 2
1376 Gee, didn’t mean to scare you. 1.2000 0.04423 130 110 14 6
1377 You've lost that cactus feeling! 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
1378 Consider it your Rogan era. 1.2000 0.03935 125 102 21 2
1379 You’re still looking sharp. 1.2000 0.04096 125 103 19 3
1380 Well, I guess now you can wear that bikini. 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
1381 Okay you can make one more point, then just drop it 1.2000 0.04314 115 95 17 3
1382 I think that’s against the dress code 1.2000 0.04144 130 108 18 4
1383 I’m not going to shoot you. Just stop calling me a prick. 1.2000 0.04286 130 109 16 5
1384 Hey, that's only in porn, dude. 1.2000 0.04674 120 102 12 6
1385 You're serious, you're done with the little pricks? 1.2000 0.04250 125 104 17 4
1386 Wait! I can explain 1.2000 0.04487 115 96 15 4
1387 Are those, pubes? 1.2000 0.04555 130 111 12 7
1388 I told you that stuff wasn't tequila! 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
1389 Come back! I'm sorry I called you 'Spineless'. 1.2000 0.04144 130 108 18 4
1390 Don´t panic, I've heard you can fly to Turkey and have a nice vacation while they put them back in 1.2000 0.04201 120 99 18 3
1391 Maybe your Brazilian thing has gone too far! 1.2000 0.04674 120 102 12 6
1392 I tried to tell you depilatory cream wasn't just another name for sunscreen. 1.2000 0.04144 130 108 18 4
1393 Am I a prick? 1.2000 0.04314 115 95 17 3
1394 I told you to stop poking fun at me. 1.2000 0.04043 110 89 20 1
1395 I don't know how to talk to you anymore, Stewart. You're just getting more and more pointless. 1.2000 0.04201 120 99 18 3
1396 Needles to say, I still think you look handsome. 1.2000 0.04654 115 97 13 5
1397 Well, you did wish to be more approachable 1.2000 0.04766 105 88 13 4
1398 Sorry... couldn't help but needle you.... 1.2000 0.04096 125 103 19 3
1399 How long have you been standing there? 1.2000 0.04286 130 109 16 5
1400 Kramer, I dunno what happened! One minute I’m trying to even things out, and the next: all gone! 1.2000 0.04621 110 92 14 4
1401 Now you know what a Brazilian means. 1.1987 0.04209 156 134 13 9
1402 You need to regrow those spines quick. Livestock are headed in this direction. 1.1985 0.04018 136 113 19 4
1403 It sounds a bit prickly, but people rub me the wrong way." #mynewyorkercaptio 1.1985 0.04255 131 110 16 5
1404 Oh, I am sorry, I thought you knew 1.1985 0.03819 131 107 22 2
1405 It’s the prickly heat. I told you to use sunscreen. 1.1985 0.04115 131 109 18 4
1406 It's not my fault I rub you the wrong way. 1.1985 0.04255 131 110 16 5
1407 You better hope for a windy day, Michael Finnegan 1.1984 0.04510 126 107 13 6
1408 I’m sorry to have been such a prick. 1.1984 0.04510 126 107 13 6
1409 On the brighter side, you can now get massages 1.1984 0.04066 126 104 19 3
1410 It’s just aloe pecia 1.1984 0.04784 126 109 9 8
1411 I didn’t mean to scare the needles out of you 1.1984 0.04219 126 105 17 4
1412 I told you that watching that video on how tequila is made would shake you up pretty badly. 1.1984 0.04367 126 106 15 5
1413 I told you not to use the exfoliant. 1.1983 0.04331 121 101 16 4
1414 I wouldn’t worry. Bald is the new sexy. 1.1983 0.04331 121 101 16 4
1415 Oh my gosh, Barb, is that you?! 1.1983 0.04487 121 102 14 5
1416 If you dare wear short shorts! 1.1983 0.04452 116 97 15 4
1417 too much retinol. 1.1983 0.04452 116 97 15 4
1418 I can see your prickly pears. 1.1983 0.04617 116 98 13 5
1419 How dare you turn your back on me, you spineless creature! 1.1983 0.04101 116 95 19 2
1420 On the bright side, you’re far less prickly than before 1.1983 0.04617 116 98 13 5
1421 At least it’ll take you less time to get ready in the morning. 1.1983 0.04280 116 96 17 3
1422 There's a reason no one has ever heard a cactus sneeze, you know. 1.1983 0.04617 116 98 13 5
1423 Turn around and face me, you spineless Cac. 1.1982 0.04582 111 93 14 4
1424 Needle-ess to say Frank, you're not looking as sharp anymore. 1.1982 0.04582 111 93 14 4
1425 Trust me I Feel your vulnerability 1.1982 0.04927 111 95 10 6
1426 I did warn you about steroids and hair loss 1.1982 0.04758 111 94 12 5
1427 No matter how hard you try, you will never be a maple tree! 1.1982 0.04582 111 93 14 4
1428 Whaddya mean, I don’t have a spine? 1.1981 0.04724 106 89 13 4
1429 You’ve got to get that anxiety under control. 1.1981 0.04530 106 88 15 3
1430 On the bright side, you're now a lot more huggable. 1.1972 0.03771 142 117 22 3
1431 It’s happened, I have no pricks left to give 1.1971 0.03991 137 114 19 4
1432 Told you it was alopecia. 1.1971 0.04123 137 115 17 5
1433 Is that how you get rid of prickly heat? 1.1970 0.03793 132 108 22 2
1434 Don't worry, you're still good for Tequila. (I want to submit: Don't worry, you're still a big prick. But, you probably wouldn't allow that). 1.1970 0.04087 132 110 18 4
1435 Have you considered trying acupuncture? 1.1970 0.04087 132 110 18 4
1436 and you're a lot less prickly after your reverse-acupuncture sessions 1.1970 0.04087 132 110 18 4
1437 It’s OK. It’s just your shadow. 1.1969 0.03879 127 104 21 2
1438 I didn’t mean to be prickly when I said bald is the new beautiful. 1.1969 0.04336 127 107 15 5
1439 You remembered to turn the oven off, right? 1.1967 0.03971 122 100 20 2
1440 I’m sorry, but I don’t think there’s such thing as a Brazilian cactus. 1.1967 0.04889 122 106 8 8
1441 I keep telling you to moisturize! 1.1967 0.04138 122 101 18 3
1442 That’s so 2006 1.1967 0.04138 122 101 18 3
1443 I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. OF COURSE it makes you look like Stanley Tucci. 1.1967 0.04138 122 101 18 3
1444 I know your therapist said to let your guard down, but this? 1.1966 0.04417 117 98 15 4
1445 You'd need extra laser sessions for maintenance . 1.1966 0.04247 117 97 17 3
1446 I told you that Nair stuff was strong. 1.1966 0.04247 117 97 17 3
1447 I warned you to put labels on those bottles! Now you know it wasn't sunscreen... 1.1964 0.04176 112 92 18 2
1448 You're not the man I married! 1.1964 0.04545 112 94 14 4
1449 Don’t panic, I hear there’s a needle program in the city. 1.1964 0.03979 112 91 20 1
1450 It’s stress induced alopecia… but don’t think about it, that’ll only stress you out more. 1.1963 0.03858 107 86 21 0
1451 Look on the bright side, you still have some on your back. 1.1963 0.04491 107 89 15 3
1452 I said "hold on" not "hold up!" 1.1961 0.05031 102 87 10 5
1453 I told you using Nair would make you look like a cucumber! 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
1454 You honestly look so much more approachable! 1.1957 0.04223 138 117 15 6
1455 This is not what Taylor Swift has in mind when she sings "Shake it off"! 1.1957 0.04096 138 116 17 5
1456 If you think I'm going to say, "Gesundheit," and ruin this cartoon... 1.1955 0.04059 133 111 18 4
1457 I realize this may not be the best time, but your epidermis is showing 1.1953 0.04159 128 107 17 4
1458 Think of it this way, Spike: you’ve always thought your name is generic; now there’s a coolness to its irony. 1.1953 0.04304 128 108 15 5
1459 I am sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you” 1.1953 0.04159 128 107 17 4
1460 Don’t worry, my buddy Carl said this happens when we hit puberty. 1.1951 0.04267 123 103 16 4
1461 I don't think we've reached the nudist beach quite yet... 1.1951 0.03942 123 101 20 2
1462 Excuse me miss, but I'm afraid this desert is not needle-optional. 1.1951 0.04420 123 104 14 5
1463 Boo!! . . . Oops! 1.1951 0.04267 123 103 16 4
1464 I think you’re missing the point. 1.1951 0.04420 123 104 14 5
1465 Oh no, that's a classic symptom of cactus COVID! 1.1949 0.04039 118 97 19 2
1466 It happens to the best of us. Have you thought about medication? 1.1949 0.04214 118 98 17 3
1467 Spurs weight loss”… I guess they meant that literally. 1.1949 0.04214 118 98 17 3
1468 You don’t have a spine left. 1.1949 0.04545 118 100 13 5
1469 Actually, Ted, it's the gossiping that gets people to call you a prick… 1.1949 0.04214 118 98 17 3
1470 You really do look bigger 1.1948 0.04128 154 132 14 8
1471 Bummer! Bert. Hope it’s not airborne! 1.1947 0.03947 113 92 20 1
1472 I always knew you were soft. 1.1947 0.04680 113 96 12 5
1473 That was some sneeze! 1.1947 0.04329 113 94 16 3
1474 I told you sunscreen was not the way to go. 1.1947 0.04846 113 97 10 6
1475 Are you sure Ozempic is supposed to work this way? 1.1947 0.04329 113 94 16 3
1476 Sorry, I thought you knew I was behind you. 1.1947 0.04680 113 96 12 5
1477 I told you Nair really works. 1.1947 0.04142 113 93 18 2
1478 They say it comes from the mother’s side. 1.1947 0.04142 113 93 18 2
1479 I think you look kinda succulent. 1.1947 0.04508 113 95 14 4
1480 There you go again with your dreams of becoming an evergreen tree. I warned you that your system would reject the notion. 1.1944 0.04096 144 122 16 6
1481 sir! sir! this is NOT that kind of beach- sir! 1.1944 0.04643 108 91 13 4
1482 Honey, you're still a handsome hunk of Saguaro. 1.1944 0.04643 108 91 13 4
1483 I don't like it when you needle me! 1.1944 0.04826 108 92 11 5
1484 Gone with the wind? 1.1942 0.04588 103 86 14 3
1485 Quick! Here come those hungry birds with sharp beaks. 1.1940 0.03889 134 111 20 3
1486 I'm disappointed that you don't want to get close anymore. 1.1940 0.04168 134 113 16 5
1487 It comes from your mother's side of the family. 1.1939 0.04268 98 80 17 1
1488 Seems like the hair loss product wasn't what you expected. 1.1938 0.04129 129 108 17 4
1489 At least you can now hug your grandkids. 1.1938 0.04129 129 108 17 4
1490 Sorry, but Rogaine doesn’t work for everyone. 1.1938 0.03663 129 105 23 1
1491 I imagine you’re feeling very vulnerable. Brene says choose courage over comfort. 1.1935 0.04235 124 104 16 4
1492 mid-life crisis 1.1935 0.03742 124 101 22 1
1493 So now I know you don't like surprises. 1.1935 0.04235 124 104 16 4
1494 You're bald and I regret this relationship is now over. 1.1935 0.04534 124 106 12 6
1495 If it’s any consolation, it happened McConnell, too. 1.1935 0.04387 124 105 14 5
1496 It’s dry season, you should really drink more water 1.1935 0.04235 124 104 16 4
1497 I know the bald look is 'in,' but you look like a bad pickle to me. 1.1935 0.04235 124 104 16 4
1498 I now know what's been needling you. 1.1933 0.03865 150 126 19 5
1499 Please come back. I didn’t mean to be so prickly. 1.1933 0.04008 119 98 19 2
1500 Why so sad, at least now you’re huggable 1.1933 0.04349 119 100 15 4
1501 I thought you said we'd always stick together! 1.1933 0.04349 119 100 15 4
1502 And now you know where tequila comes from. 1.1933 0.04008 119 98 19 2
1503 I warned you about those water pills. 1.1933 0.04509 119 101 13 5
1504 Life is tough, basically it’s either be a prick or get plucked. 1.1933 0.04349 119 100 15 4
1505 I just feel so naked and vulnerable without them. 1.1930 0.04471 114 96 14 4
1506 Already shedding your Winter coat? 1.1930 0.04471 114 96 14 4
1507 So you found a gray and things went a little too far? 1.1930 0.04109 114 94 18 2
1508 It’s perfectly normal. It happens to a lot of cactus.. 1.1930 0.04642 114 97 12 5
1509 I’m still working up the courage to be spineless. 1.1930 0.04642 114 97 12 5
1510 So sorry. When I said ‘Stick ‘em up!’ I didn’t mean to scare you so badly. 1.1929 0.03913 140 117 19 4
1511 And THAT’S why we always lean away from the roadrunner. 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
1512 It's your pose—bad for circulation. 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
1513 I don't think Acupuncture and Botox are a good mix in the desert. 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
1514 How does it feel to lose your superpower? 1.1927 0.04785 109 93 11 5
1515 YOU NEVER LISTEN! I told you we Seguaros are allergic to sunscreen!!! 1.1927 0.04785 109 93 11 5
1516 You may never find that haystack. 1.1926 0.04139 135 114 16 5
1517 Needless to say, stress is not your friend. 1.1923 0.04338 104 86 16 2
1518 Don’t worry - - 90 is the new 60 ! 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
1519 No, I said "I'm present," not "I'm pregnant." 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
1520 Wear your Alopecia with pride, the rest of us are doomed to become Tequila. 1.1923 0.04338 104 86 16 2
1521 Do you need any aloe vera ? 1.1923 0.04243 130 110 15 5
1522 A lot of pollinating bats really like bald guys! 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
1523 Hey … Macarena. 1.1923 0.04941 104 89 10 5
1524 I think you looked better before the Brazilian. 1.1920 0.04047 125 104 18 3
1525 Have you tried yoga? 1.1920 0.03885 125 103 20 2
1526 It’s OK. You’re just not a prick. 1.1920 0.04047 125 104 18 3
1527 I thought we agreed to stop shaving 1.1920 0.03885 125 103 20 2
1528 I said Put 'em up OR drop 'em 1.1920 0.03885 125 103 20 2
1529 Think tattoos. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
1530 This isn’t what I meant when I said to be more vulnerable. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
1531 Dad, I think I'm a conifer. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
1532 Good news - there's nothing on your back. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
1533 These things happen. It's probably just your diet 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1534 Now you’ll have to use sun screen! 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1535 It works in Congress, yes, but not here! 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1536 If you plan to go streaking, you'll need to get some legs. 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1537 When smooth as a baby's bottom is not a compliment 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1538 Your skin looks dry. 1.1917 0.03797 120 98 21 1
1539 Really, a Brazilian? 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1540 No, the robot dance is like this! 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1541 Don’t worry about it growing back thicker, that’s just an old wives tale. 1.1913 0.04260 115 96 16 3
1542 I promise I won't hurt you. 1.1912 0.03976 136 114 18 4
1543 I TOLD you not to hold your nose when you sneeze. 1.1909 0.04565 110 93 13 4
1544 Sorry I’m such a prick 1.1909 0.04184 110 91 17 2
1545 Don’t be a saguaro-puss, you can hardly notice 1.1909 0.04565 110 93 13 4
1546 When I said, “Stop being a prick” I didn’t mean this! 1.1909 0.04565 110 93 13 4
1547 I don't think it's anything to worry about. 1.1908 0.03924 131 109 19 3
1548 Don't worry; I'm sure the next wagon will have your Rogaine order. 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
1549 Okay! Okay! I'll shave! 1.1905 0.03857 126 104 20 2
1550 Stopped taking Minoxidil? 1.1905 0.04018 126 105 18 3
1551 I miss the old you. You used to be such a prick. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
1552 A moisturizer would clear up that problem fast. 1.1905 0.03857 126 104 20 2
1553 I keep telling ya, shave it all. Chicks will dig it. 1.1905 0.04323 126 107 14 5
1554 You are nothing but a spineless figure. I’m done with you! 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
1555 At least now you'll be less defensive. 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
1556 Third date tonight? 1.1905 0.04173 126 106 16 4
1557 You’re lucky! It takes me forever to shave! 1.1905 0.04707 105 89 12 4
1558 Careful — they’ll grow back thicker. 1.1901 0.03948 121 100 19 2
1559 I said 'bold', not 'bald'! 1.1901 0.04118 121 101 17 3
1560 Just think of all the time you’ll save getting ready each morning. 1.1901 0.04118 121 101 17 3
1561 Just tell them you're a BMW and have your pricks on the inside 1.1901 0.04593 121 104 11 6
1562 Everyone had warned Hank that stopping both Rogaine and Propecia cold turkey was not a smart move. 1.1901 0.04282 121 102 15 4
1563 It's not you, it's me. 1.1901 0.03769 121 99 21 1
1564 You look stressed. 1.1901 0.04118 121 101 17 3
1565 I meant your behaviour felt prickly... 1.1901 0.03948 121 100 19 2
1566 Sal! This wasn’t what I meant when I said we need to be more vulnerable with each other… 1.1901 0.03948 121 100 19 2
1567 You’ve been drinking again, haven’t you? 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
1568 Bill...you ARE the father! 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
1569 It'll grow back 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
1570 I really think your therapist was talking about your metaphorical defenses 1.1900 0.05064 100 86 9 5
1571 Now you know what depilatory means. 1.1897 0.05036 116 102 6 8
1572 Stress or just age? 1.1897 0.04226 116 97 16 3
1573 That was a spineless thing to do! 1.1897 0.04400 116 98 14 4
1574 Baby, I meant “prick-less” as a compliment! 1.1897 0.04400 116 98 14 4
1575 You could just brush the spikes from the back to the front and go into politics. 1.1897 0.04045 116 96 18 2
1576 I told you not to rely on the Supreme Court 1.1897 0.04045 116 96 18 2
1577 You wouldn’t believe me when I told you a little Rogaine would probably help! 1.1894 0.04043 132 111 17 4
1578 Is anything going to stick me when I pat you down? 1.1892 0.04343 111 93 15 3
1579 I hope you can quickly get your things back on. This is a family desert. 1.1892 0.04705 111 95 11 5
1580 Have you been drinking enough water? 1.1892 0.03948 111 91 19 1
1581 I use a combo of Miracle Gro and Rogaine. Grogaine. 1.1892 0.04527 111 94 13 4
1582 Do you regret no longer being a prick? 1.1892 0.04343 111 93 15 3
1583 Some gals dig the spikeless look. 1.1890 0.03989 127 106 18 3
1584 Have you seen my razor? 1.1890 0.04143 127 107 16 4
1585 You're not the same prickly SOB you used to be. 1.1890 0.04143 127 107 16 4
1586 You forgot to use your safe word. 1.1890 0.04143 127 107 16 4
1587 so you say you’re a transplant from Brazil? 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
1588 I get that it’s distressing, but your ribs look ripped now. 1.1887 0.04047 106 87 18 1
1589 How do you keep your complexion flawless? 1.1885 0.03741 122 100 21 1
1590 You've mistaken lotion for hair removal again, didn't you? 1.1885 0.04250 122 103 15 4
1591 When I asked you to shave, Margaret, I meant only under your arms 1.1885 0.03918 122 101 19 2
1592 That look is so last season. 1.1885 0.03918 122 101 19 2
1593 It’s still March on this side of the desert. 1.1884 0.04056 138 117 16 5
1594 I told you not to get the Brazilian. 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
1595 I don't care if this is a desert. Going nude is not acceptable. 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
1596 Hey, don't worry! Bald is beautiful!! 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
1597 Now you've done it. Here come the Instagrammers. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
1598 That's not what I meant when I said you need to let your guard down. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
1599 The Doctor said the arm will heal itself. 1.1880 0.04193 117 98 16 3
1600 What? 'Clearasil'. ? 1.1880 0.04531 117 100 12 5
1601 Egads! I think you're suffering from prickly heat! 1.1880 0.04365 117 99 14 4
1602 I told you this would happen if yo went off your meds. 1.1880 0.04193 117 98 16 3
1603 You seem stressed. 1.1880 0.04014 117 97 18 2
1604 I told you that was Nair spray 1.1880 0.04014 117 97 18 2
1605 Sorry, but you're still not that huggable. 1.1875 0.04307 112 94 15 3
1606 Why the long face mate? Wanna trade spines for a flaccid arm? 1.1875 0.05196 96 83 8 5
1607 When I said, 'This is a stick-up!" I was only kidding! 1.1875 0.05196 96 83 8 5
1608 I've warned you, Harold. Your thorns don't define you, they protect you. 1.1875 0.03802 128 106 20 2
1609 Try a new sunblock? 1.1875 0.04519 96 80 14 2
1610 I meant it figuratively when I said you've been acting too prickly. 1.1875 0.04981 96 82 10 4
1611 That's what you get for messing with that Aloe Vera plant. 1.1875 0.04116 112 93 17 2
1612 Drop everything. Don’t turn around. 1.1875 0.04490 112 95 13 4
1613 Try putting some aloe on it... 1.1875 0.03705 112 91 21 0
1614 Drop your spines, you're under arrest 1.1871 0.03761 139 116 20 3
1615 Girls prefer muscles anyway 1.1871 0.03620 139 115 22 2
1616 There must have been a depilatory in your sunscreen. 1.1870 0.03889 123 102 19 2
1617 I'm sorry I called you a prick! 1.1870 0.04373 123 105 13 5
1618 You know, losing your needles is inherited through your mother's side of the family. 1.1870 0.04373 123 105 13 5
1619 I told you not to look! 1.1870 0.04057 123 103 17 3
1620 I’m a succa for a bald guy. 1.1870 0.04057 123 103 17 3
1621 I heard that. Don’t try blaming the dog either. 1.1870 0.03714 123 101 21 1
1622 You look fine...don't worry. No one will notice. 1.1869 0.04812 107 92 10 5
1623 Maybe this is just one of those dreams where you're out in public naked. 1.1869 0.04625 107 91 12 4
1624 Look at the bright side - you’re not a prick anymore.” 1.1869 0.04812 107 92 10 5
1625 When I said " Don't be a prick," this is not what I meant. 1.1869 0.04812 107 92 10 5
1626 Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. 1.1869 0.04430 107 90 14 3
1627 Don't worry, I know an acupuncturist with dementia. 1.1869 0.04227 107 89 16 2
1628 No. The massage first, then the acupuncture. 1.1869 0.04430 107 90 14 3
1629 How long do you think we have to keep waving before they come and save us? 1.1869 0.04625 107 91 12 4
1630 My therapist encouraged me to be more vulnerable. 1.1869 0.04812 107 92 10 5
1631 I’m in need of a hug.” 1.1869 0.04625 107 91 12 4
1632 It’s inherited from your mother’s father. 1.1866 0.03987 134 113 17 4
1633 Well, you have the erection but you lost the protection. 1.1864 0.04161 118 99 16 3
1634 I'm sure its just water weight. 1.1864 0.03983 118 98 18 2
1635 Don’t touch dirty needles.” 1.1864 0.03601 118 96 22 0
1636 ‘Agave you my heart, ya prick!’ 1.1864 0.04161 118 99 16 3
1637 Saguaro you doing? 1.1864 0.04495 118 101 12 5
1638 This buzz cut really enhances your natural features. 1.1864 0.04161 118 99 16 3
1639 I know it's an adjustment moving back from the city, Artie, but don't go losing your spine every time a coyotoe howls. 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
1640 Would it tequila to look me in the eyes? 1.1863 0.04772 102 87 11 4
1641 I always suspected you'd be the spineless one in our relationship. 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
1642 Ya burn ? 1.1863 0.03874 102 83 19 0
1643 Chinese or Brazilian wax?? 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
1644 I told you not to use sunscreen. 1.1858 0.03675 113 92 21 0
1645 I'm still gonna hug you! 1.1858 0.04083 113 94 17 2
1646 I told you Ozempic doesn't work on Cacti 1.1858 0.04627 113 97 11 5
1647 Was that a sneeze or a fart ? 1.1858 0.04453 113 96 13 4
1648 Did you consider before you decided to shave that when I hug you it’s going to hurt like hell? 1.1855 0.04489 124 107 11 6
1649 No, no. It looks good. The smoothness and all. … Heck, by summer, you’ll be all prickly. 1.1855 0.04027 124 104 17 3
1650 Have you considered Gro-gaine for arid climates? 1.1855 0.04027 124 104 17 3
1651 Going on a first date ? 1.1855 0.03861 124 103 19 2
1652 You still look a hundred years old. 1.1855 0.04340 124 106 13 5
1653 Didn't you know it's movember? 1.1855 0.03861 124 103 19 2
1654 It's just a phase. You need to face it. 1.1855 0.04187 124 105 15 4
1655 You look like a cucumber on steroids. 1.1852 0.04191 108 90 16 2
1656 I’m tired of everyone avoiding me. 1.1852 0.04191 108 90 16 2
1657 I said I wanted a landing strip 1.1852 0.04191 108 90 16 2
1658 By the way, that sunblock has some side effects. 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1659 It wasn't SPF 50. It was Nair. 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1660 That’s a clean shave but I think you have an ingrown needle on your back. 1.1849 0.04460 119 102 12 5
1661 What do you meannn? 'I rub you the wrong way?' 1.1849 0.03952 119 99 18 2
1662 Get over it,Grandpa! You're over 100 years old, after all. 1.1849 0.03952 119 99 18 2
1663 Now, bend over. 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1664 Have you tried using aloe? 1.1849 0.03574 119 97 22 0
1665 Remember the rhyme: landscape before we manscape. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
1666 I’ve heard Rogaine helps… 1.1846 0.03586 130 107 22 1
1667 Hey, this might be a thorny subject, but it's not safe to be spineless out here. 1.1846 0.04055 130 110 16 4
1668 I warned you about that last dye job. 1.1846 0.03905 130 109 18 3
1669 Look at it this way. You can now have close personal contact with so many more living things. Your social life will explode. 1.1846 0.04055 130 110 16 4
1670 I support you if you now want to identify as a stump. 1.1845 0.05116 103 90 7 6
1671 It must be the arsenic. 1.1845 0.04729 103 88 11 4
1672 I didn't say, "Simon says". 1.1845 0.04926 103 89 9 5
1673 I give up! Where did you hide the haystack? 1.1845 0.04729 103 88 11 4
1674 Well, at least you’re more huggable now 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
1675 Rogaine backfire? 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
1676 I love it. You don’t look a day over 175 now. 1.1842 0.04589 114 98 11 5
1677 Don't worry. Cactus pattern baldness can happen to anyone. 1.1842 0.04589 114 98 11 5
1678 I told you to stop touching yourself. 1.1842 0.04238 114 96 15 3
1679 I told you to always use needle screen. 1.1840 0.03997 125 105 17 3
1680 It's evolution at work! Now that the humans can hug you, you'll be anthropomorphized enough to be put on their do not kill list. 1.1840 0.03997 125 105 17 3
1681 I have a number for the Hair Club for Cacti. 1.1840 0.03997 125 105 17 3
1682 Silver lining...it makes it safer to do your prostate exam. 1.1840 0.04455 125 108 11 6
1683 Okay. Be honest now. Is your mom a zucchini? 1.1840 0.04455 125 108 11 6
1684 what kind of shaving cream do you use? 1.1838 0.03792 136 114 19 3
1685 Yeah, but now I look like the prick! 1.1837 0.04886 98 84 10 4
1686 Trust me - the bald look is in. 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
1687 Want to borrow my Rogaine? 1.1835 0.04546 109 93 12 4
1688 Turn on your blinker! 1.1835 0.04355 109 92 14 3
1689 Hey,it's okay to show your softer side. 1.1835 0.04355 109 92 14 3
1690 I know I wanted you to stop being so prickly but you always take things to extremes 1.1835 0.04156 109 91 16 2
1691 your mother seemed a little prickly this evening. 1.1835 0.04156 109 91 16 2
1692 I prefer a five o'clock shadow 1.1833 0.03922 120 100 18 2
1693 Maria, this is not a nude desert! 1.1833 0.04097 120 101 16 3
1694 There's gotta be easier ways to get a hug, Bob. 1.1833 0.03739 120 99 20 1
1695 Oops! Hope I didn't startle you! 1.1833 0.04097 120 101 16 3
1696 So what--you lost your needles. You're not even 175 yet. 1.1833 0.04097 120 101 16 3
1697 If you dare wear short-shorts, Nair for shorts-shorts 1.1833 0.03739 120 99 20 1
1698 I just got this weird craving for a pumpkin spice latte. 1.1828 0.05058 93 80 9 4
1699 'Shake it, baby...' What was I thinking? 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
1700 Sorry. I always sneeze when I look at the sun. 1.1827 0.04270 104 87 15 2
1701 Your backside is really burned, would you like some of my aloe. 1.1827 0.04270 104 87 15 2
1702 Why’s this prick following me? 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
1703 Carl, it’s gonna be okay!.. you just need to grow them back out BEFORE they come back with lube. 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
1704 You ned a baseball cap. 1.1826 0.04204 115 97 15 3
1705 It's ok to be vulnerable 1.1826 0.04204 115 97 15 3
1706 Sid? Deciduous? OMG! 1.1826 0.04204 115 97 15 3
1707 Now that all the pricks are gone, it’s just us two left … 1.1826 0.04018 115 96 17 2
1708 I remember my wedding night 1.1826 0.04552 115 99 11 5
1709 Calm down, it was just thunder. 1.1825 0.04125 126 107 15 4
1710 I told you not to try that exfoliating cream! 1.1825 0.04125 126 107 15 4
1711 Trust me, six months after your chemo you'll be back to normal. 1.1825 0.04125 126 107 15 4
1712 I told you to stop using that shampoo! 1.1825 0.03634 126 104 21 1
1713 "They often grow in curly after chemotherapy." 1.1825 0.03767 137 115 19 3
1714 That’s a Brazilian Cactus 1.1825 0.04299 137 119 11 7
1715 I hate having to shave before I sun bathe. 1.1818 0.04393 99 83 14 2
1716 Tell me what you saw! 1.1818 0.04319 110 93 14 3
1717 You don’t fool me, I know a prick when I see one 1.1818 0.04393 99 83 14 2
1718 So what if you're not so prickly? 1.1818 0.04121 110 92 16 2
1719 Fine, I'll hug you now. 1.1818 0.04121 110 92 16 2
1720 Need some hair spray? 1.1818 0.04152 99 82 16 1
1721 I’m sorry for calling you spineless. 1.1818 0.04319 110 93 14 3
1722 Until they grow back, you should turn one of your arms down. 1.1818 0.04864 110 96 8 6
1723 Spike.. What have you done? 1.1818 0.04508 110 94 12 4
1724 Hands up and drop the prickers! 1.1818 0.04121 110 92 16 2
1725 You have what we call "desert hair". Some follicles deserted here; some deserted there. 1.1818 0.04508 110 94 12 4
1726 I don't think you can pull off a combover. 1.1818 0.04319 110 93 14 3
1727 But look on the bright...you no longer can be on pins and needles. 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
1728 Who knew cacti could have a mid-life crisis? 1.1818 0.04393 99 83 14 2
1729 Wow… dude… Saguar-NO! 1.1818 0.04393 99 83 14 2
1730 Why do I feel like I’m always walking on pins and needles around you? 1.1818 0.05249 99 87 6 6
1731 Close shave, huh fellah! 1.1818 0.04121 110 92 16 2
1732 I’m sorry, but I’ve had it with pricks. 1.1811 0.04245 127 109 13 5
1733 I know you have been out to dry for a while and feel deserted by the rest of the team. But unfortunately we just can't have you needling your way around the office. You've prickled too many people the wrong way. And we have to let you saguaro. 1.1810 0.04346 116 99 13 4
1734 I still love you, my prickly pear. 1.1810 0.04170 116 98 15 3
1735 Body language can have unexpected repercussions. 1.1810 0.04645 105 90 11 4
1736 Whoa. Sorry dude. I thought "stick 'em up" would be funny. 1.1810 0.04010 105 87 17 1
1737 dawg you can't be doing that shit within 500 feet of a school what the hell 1.1810 0.04645 105 90 11 4
1738 I meant 'prickly' as in your personality. The kissing was fine! 1.1810 0.04838 105 91 9 5
1739 I dont care what the Cult Leader told you, Jerry. This is not the path to salvation. 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
1740 On the bright side, now I can’t call you a prick… 1.1810 0.04232 105 88 15 2
1741 You really are spineless. 1.1810 0.04010 105 87 17 1
1742 Needleless to say, my puns are usually poorly timed. 1.1810 0.04232 105 88 15 2
1743 I hope you have a lot of sunscreen 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
1744 Honey, maybe it's time to talk to your doctor about Propecia! 1.1803 0.04035 122 103 16 3
1745 You're going to need sunblock. 1.1803 0.03684 122 101 20 1
1746 No! You’re the one with the Spiky personality! 1.1803 0.04035 122 103 16 3
1747 I'm sorry,did I scare you? 1.1803 0.04199 122 104 14 4
1748 You will be cooler with the global warming. 1.1802 0.03882 111 92 18 1
1749 Try to relax, Super Tuesday results can do that 1.1802 0.03665 111 91 20 0
1750 Look at the bright side, you'll get more hugs. 1.1802 0.04283 111 94 14 3
1751 Uh, buddy, look out for the rodents... 1.1802 0.04283 111 94 14 3
1752 So, you decided not to carry. 1.1802 0.04283 111 94 14 3
1753 Middle age crisis is here 1.1802 0.04087 111 93 16 2
1754 Your medication clearly states that it can lead to sticker shock in older cactus. 1.1802 0.04283 111 94 14 3
1755 Well,at least you still have your eyebrows… 1.1802 0.04470 111 95 12 4
1756 Okay, well, alright… now you’re just a Pear. 1.1800 0.04579 100 85 12 3
1757 If you don’t cut out reading news about the election or economy, they’ll never grow back… 1.1800 0.04579 100 85 12 3
1758 I was kidding when I called you spineless 1.1797 0.04214 128 110 13 5
1759 Hey, what do you call a group of bald cacti? A solar panel! Get it? 1.1797 0.03911 128 108 17 3
1760 The directions on the package say, ‘do not wear in direct sunlight.’” Robert Van Brocklin, Portland, Ore. 1.1795 0.03764 117 97 19 1
1761 You could try Rogain. 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1762 Your body, your choice. 1.1792 0.04196 106 89 15 2
1763 Hands up ya spineless sahuaro! 1.1792 0.04405 106 90 13 3
1764 Going bald is a bitch 1.1792 0.04405 106 90 13 3
1765 This is what happens when you don't use sunscreen! 1.1792 0.03743 106 87 19 0
1766 Well, at least they can’t call you a prick anymore. 1.1792 0.04604 106 91 11 4
1767 Okay so -don’t get mad- I think I changed my mind on this. 1.1792 0.04604 106 91 11 4
1768 If it makes you feel any better, I heard Jerry the Gecko lost his tail the other day. 1.1789 0.04959 95 82 9 4
1769 I told you to use a higher SPF” 1.1789 0.03954 95 78 17 0
1770 This is a bad time, isn’t it? 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
1771 I think the stress is really getting to you man 1.1789 0.04168 123 105 14 4
1772 My dude, your defenses are down. 1.1789 0.04168 123 105 14 4
1773 Seven more and you’re just a prick. 1.1786 0.04433 112 96 12 4
1774 So what is your point? 1.1786 0.04433 112 96 12 4
1775 I see the needles and the damage done. 1.1786 0.04611 112 97 10 5
1776 On the plus side, you don’t need that drug for being bent at a funny angle. 1.1783 0.03558 129 107 21 1
1777 This is why we hold our sneezes in, and also the whole "water" thing. 1.1783 0.03883 129 109 17 3
1778 I think it's a good look for you. 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
1779 Low Taper Fade? 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
1780 That's what happens when you don't moisturize. 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
1781 Acupuncture isn't your thing? 1.1782 0.04750 101 87 10 4
1782 There's still some stubble. 1.1782 0.04077 101 84 16 1
1783 I thought you’d leave a landing strip. 1.1782 0.04077 101 84 16 1
1784 I have needs… 1.1780 0.04105 118 100 15 3
1785 What did I tell you? Getting old ain't pretty! 1.1780 0.03924 118 99 17 2
1786 I should have listened when my dad said you were a spineless loser. 1.1780 0.04444 118 102 11 5
1787 You said you did it for the summer? 1.1780 0.04444 118 102 11 5
1788 Oh real smooth, Lenny. It's like you've never seen a sexy tumbleweed roll by before. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
1789 We'll steer clear of Chris Rock, okay? 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
1790 I told you climate change is real. 1.1778 0.05139 90 78 8 4
1791 babes when i said “we need to shave” i meant expenses… 1.1778 0.03772 135 114 18 3
1792 The Sheriff can get you for indecent exposure, ya know? 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
1793 Well, you always wanted to be a Christmas cactus! 1.1776 0.03712 107 88 19 0
1794 Aren't you gonna say Gesundheit? 1.1776 0.03942 107 89 17 1
1795 Don't despair. The androgynous look is really in these days. 1.1776 0.04160 107 90 15 2
1796 Have you considered Minoxidil Rx? 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
1797 It’s called a Tucson Wax. Do you like it? 1.1776 0.03942 107 89 17 1
1798 It happens when I’m nervous 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
1799 Nothing a toupeyote can't fix. 1.1774 0.04292 124 107 12 5
1800 Wow, you really let your guard down. 1.1774 0.04442 124 108 10 6
1801 Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? 1.1771 0.04910 96 83 9 4
1802 I warned you that if you stayed out in the sun too long you would lose your needles. But did you listen? No. 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
1803 I told you the clean shaven look does not work for us!! 1.1771 0.04910 96 83 9 4
1804 Hey, needle replacement therapy is totally affordable these days. 1.1771 0.05129 96 84 7 5
1805 Taking a haircut" is just a metaphor 1.1770 0.04021 113 95 16 2
1806 It IS very itchy. Why do you ask? 1.1770 0.04396 113 97 12 4
1807 I told you not to raise your left arm ! 1.1770 0.04021 113 95 16 2
1808 Must’ve been the dog. 1.1770 0.04213 113 96 14 3
1809 Don't fret - it happens to all of us when we get older. 1.1770 0.03819 113 94 18 1
1810 It will grow back, it’s better than turning gray. 1.1770 0.04213 113 96 14 3
1811 Could be dry skin. 1.1769 0.04153 130 112 13 5
1812 Total thirst trap. 1.1769 0.04007 130 111 15 4
1813 Maybe you don't scratch mine. 1.1769 0.03533 130 108 21 1
1814 Hands up or I’ll shoot! 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
1815 You know there’s no needle exchange out here. 1.1765 0.04275 102 86 14 2
1816 I told you! Once you start Rogaine, you can't stop. 1.1765 0.04275 102 86 14 2
1817 I warned you about the vaccine, dude. 1.1760 0.04260 125 108 12 5
1818 Not so funny now, is it Chris! 1.1759 0.04525 108 93 11 4
1819 It just shows you have more testosterone. 1.1759 0.04124 108 91 15 2
1820 I'd get that looked at if I were you! 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
1821 I hear that when this happens you have to start wearing a hat and use sunscreen. 1.1759 0.04712 108 94 9 5
1822 Sorry to say, but you don't look so sharp in that outfit". From 8YO Son Jamie 1.1759 0.04124 108 91 15 2
1823 Bright side…You can comfortably itch yourself? 1.1759 0.03909 108 90 17 1
1824 Trump's new design for Border Patrol uniforms are a little scratchy.... 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
1825 My mother warned me you were spineless. 1.1759 0.04712 108 94 9 5
1826 I won’t do it without protection. 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
1827 Oops - guess you’re not a backslap kind of guy. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
1828 Don’t sweat it. A little glue and you will be all set. 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
1829 Premature Prickulation. 1.1754 0.04535 114 99 10 5
1830 How’d you shed all your defense mechanisms? 1.1754 0.03988 114 96 16 2
1831 What did I tell you about fraternizing with the aloe-pecia?" 1.1754 0.04360 114 98 12 4
1832 I still think you're hot 1.1754 0.04178 114 97 14 3
1833 I guess that bottle was hair removal, sorry 1.1754 0.04178 114 97 14 3
1834 I knew it! You're a cucumber in cactus clothing! 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
1835 Have you had your thyroid checked? 1.1753 0.04637 97 83 11 3
1836 Chicks dig it? 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
1837 I told you I want a divorce you spineless succulent. 1.1753 0.04637 97 83 11 3
1838 Damn it Craig, you scared the pricks out of me 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
1839 A Brazilian wax in the middle of winter? 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
1840 Looks like you could use a hug! 1.1750 0.04042 120 102 15 3
1841 First time ahaving, huh? 1.1750 0.03679 120 100 19 1
1842 Based on the needle spatter evidence, I can rule out a high powered weapon from the sixth floor. 1.1750 0.04211 120 103 13 4
1843 Dandruff out HERE?! 1.1750 0.04042 120 102 15 3
1844 Yeah,looks like old age setting in,hair falls out,but you’re still a prick 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
1845 Suddenly I feel so naked. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
1846 Seriously, don’t worry—it happens to a lot of guys. 1.1748 0.04236 103 87 14 2
1847 I think they call it aloe-wisha. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
1848 I said Drop ALL your weapons 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
1849 I've got your back! 1.1748 0.03760 103 85 18 0
1850 That's why I only drink bottled water. 1.1748 0.03760 103 85 18 0
1851 Have you been hydrating? 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
1852 Don't worry. Your father suffered from prick-loss at your age too. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
1853 Why can’t you grow some spines? 1.1746 0.03916 126 107 16 3
1854 It’s not that kind of a club, Jim. 1.1746 0.04075 126 108 14 4
1855 Why did you enlist? 1.1743 0.04671 109 95 9 5
1856 I feel your saguaro. 1.1743 0.03876 109 91 17 1
1857 Of course it's a little frightening to drop your defenses but being vulnerable will bring us closer. 1.1743 0.04090 109 92 15 2
1858 Have you tried Viagra? 1.1743 0.03876 109 91 17 1
1859 Look at it this way -- it'll be so much easier to make friends! 1.1743 0.03876 109 91 17 1
1860 Maybe now you won’t be so prickly. 1.1743 0.04292 109 93 13 3
1861 When I said 'wax eloquently', I didn't mean this! 1.1743 0.03876 109 91 17 1
1862 Put your needles back on; this isn’t the nude beach! 1.1743 0.03876 109 91 17 1
1863 I think you've been taking too much Driagra! 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1864 I'm afraid it's genetic, Freddie. Your dad began to go bald at the tips around your age too. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1865 You didn’t complain when we were dating 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1866 Barizona 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
1867 Bro, why are you naked? Was I too hot for you? 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1868 Um excuse me…you missed a spot 1.1739 0.03759 115 96 18 1
1869 My cousin suffers from spinal dysfunction, too. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1870 Donnie Vlasco, the FBI pickle undercover as a cactus, was suddenly made by a strong gust of wind, and Leafy, the prickly mafioso, found he lost his best friend in that same gust of wind. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1871 Your mother's father had the same issue. 1.1739 0.03759 115 96 18 1
1872 Grow a spine, would ya! 1.1739 0.04498 115 100 10 5
1873 At least now you won't end up an ornament on someone's lawn. 1.1739 0.03973 92 76 16 0
1874 Wait, I can change. 1.1736 0.03835 121 102 17 2
1875 She was only pretending to hug you for a picture, she’s not coming back to marry you no matter how smooth you get. 1.1736 0.04011 121 103 15 3
1876 YOU are SO “1997” , …… NO one waxes anymore…….. #natural 1.1736 0.03835 121 102 17 2
1877 NEEDLE DROP AHAHAHAHA 1.1736 0.03835 121 102 17 2
1878 Et tu, Brutuses 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
1879 I don’t think that was sunscreen… 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
1880 Yes I've heard of that happening when you stop using Grogaine 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
1881 I warned you about that defoliant. Now you're naked and alone. 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
1882 I said we were going to SHRED your body. 1.1735 0.03845 98 81 17 0
1883 I don’t know, have you had your hormones checked recently? 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
1884 Wowee, that sneeze was thumping great! 1.1732 0.04197 127 110 12 5
1885 Now you're one step away from being part of a gourmet recipe. 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
1886 Male Pattern De-Catus. 1.1731 0.04622 104 90 10 4
1887 At least they’re not in the sink this time, Henry! 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
1888 I told you to be careful..it’s a dry heat. 1.1731 0.03728 104 86 18 0
1889 Why didn't you just tell me? You don't have to be so spineless. 1.1731 0.03970 104 87 16 1
1890 Look at it this way: now you can audition for "Dune Part Three" 1.1727 0.04256 110 94 13 3
1891 Time to grow a goatee. 1.1727 0.04256 110 94 13 3
1892 I warned you that Viagra has side effects! 1.1727 0.04256 110 94 13 3
1893 Needle-less to say I was shocked! 1.1727 0.04055 110 93 15 2
1894 Bob, next time someone asks you why you're so prickly, t he answer isn't "I'm not." 1.1727 0.04256 110 94 13 3
1895 That's not what I meant by manscaping... 1.1727 0.03844 110 92 17 1
1896 Have you been doing your deep breathing? 1.1724 0.04112 116 99 14 3
1897 Allergy season starts earlier every year. 1.1724 0.03925 116 98 16 2
1898 I told you not to drink so much water. 1.1724 0.03925 116 98 16 2
1899 Thats right, keep those hands up where i can see them. Now i want you to slowly drop the needles, good. Now i want you to lay face down on the floor and count to a thousand. 1.1724 0.04290 116 100 12 4
1900 I know a TikTok filter that’ll cover that up real nice, bro. 1.1724 0.03729 116 97 18 1
1901 Oh Oh Dude.....Here comes someone looking for water. 1.1721 0.03980 122 104 15 3
1902 If you ever wonder what you'd look like without arms, maybe go with a virtual simulator. 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
1903 When I said, Don't be so prickly, I meant emotionally not physically. 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
1904 I meant, get over it. Not literally, shake it off. 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
1905 They’re going to grow back twice as sharp. 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
1906 I’m sorry i called you a prick, i never wanted you to change! 1.1720 0.03935 93 77 16 0
1907 You overthink everything. 1.1720 0.04983 93 81 8 4
1908 You should try some aloe for that sunburn. 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
1909 Male Pattern Baldness, it skips a generation son! 1.1717 0.04317 99 84 13 2
1910 Hey, at least your tan will be even 1.1717 0.04771 99 86 9 4
1911 Hands up. Drop everything. Oops. Sorry. Dry humor. 1.1716 0.04306 134 118 9 7
1912 Not to worry-bald is beautiful. 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
1913 Shed if you want, but don't come crying to me if you end up in an ensalada de nopales. 1.1714 0.04376 105 90 12 3
1914 Well, if you’re going to run around naked, you at least need to put on some sun block. 1.1714 0.03936 105 88 16 1
1915 Drop them. 1.1714 0.04581 105 91 10 4
1916 When I screamed, "Freeze you spineless cactus!", I was just sort of joking. 1.1714 0.03936 105 88 16 1
1917 Don't panic. Once the peyote runs its course, your thorns will grow back 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
1918 Keep your hands up and your hair down! 1.1714 0.03936 105 88 16 1
1919 Sorry, I thought you knew I was back here. 1.1712 0.04022 111 94 15 2
1920 Don't feel bad. We all have our bad hair days! 1.1712 0.04022 111 94 15 2
1921 Sorry, I wouldn’t have scared you if I knew you were spineless. 1.1712 0.04022 111 94 15 2
1922 Well I'd start out with a hat with a 10ft. brim. 1.1712 0.03813 111 93 17 1
1923 Anyway, sorry I’m so prickly about it. 1.1712 0.04410 111 96 11 4
1924 That's one way out of a prickly situation. 1.1709 0.04256 117 101 12 4
1925 You can't stick with anything. 1.1709 0.04079 117 100 14 3
1926 I don't like you clean shaved 1.1709 0.04079 117 100 14 3
1927 Whoa! what'd you see over there that's scared you spineless? 1.1709 0.03894 117 99 16 2
1928 I told her to leave a landing strip 1.1709 0.04747 117 104 6 7
1929 NOW will you vote? 1.1707 0.03950 123 105 15 3
1930 - Who’s prickly????? 1.1707 0.03950 123 105 15 3
1931 sticker shock 1.1705 0.05414 88 78 5 5
1932 If it comes to that, we can always move to Canada. 1.1705 0.05167 88 77 7 4
1933 I told you that was Nair and not sunscreen. 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
1934 I didnt know you have a fear of needles! 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
1935 Now nobody can call you a prick! 1.1702 0.04933 94 82 8 4
1936 It’s not all bad. At least now you’ll able to wear cashmere. 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
1937 Scissors beats paper 1.1702 0.03897 94 78 16 0
1938 This doesn’t change anything, Beth — you’re still prickly. 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
1939 Are you a wildlife photographer wearing a costume? 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
1940 Sorry, I didn't mean to scare the pricks off of you. 1.1700 0.04277 100 85 13 2
1941 Don't worry, I heard the clean shaven look is making a comeback. 1.1700 0.04277 100 85 13 2
1942 Love can be a thorny issue. 1.1700 0.04507 100 86 11 3
1943 At the end of our evolution is a cucumber, they say! 1.1700 0.04935 100 88 7 5
1944 Sheldon was only kidding when he called you a prick. 1.1698 0.03902 106 89 16 1
1945 Real smooth. I thought we agreed to both ware protection. 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
1946 I know I said you've been prickly lately, but I was hoping you'd consider therapy instead of... this. 1.1698 0.04540 106 92 10 4
1947 I was just trying to cure your hiccups. 1.1698 0.03902 106 89 16 1
1948 I told you that would happen if you kept doing that! 1.1698 0.04540 106 92 10 4
1949 At least they’re not in a haystack 1.1698 0.04540 106 92 10 4
1950 Don’t worry. I hear “spike-less” is going to be the hot new trend this summer. 1.1698 0.03902 106 89 16 1
1951 Just get really hydrated and grow some fruit. 1.1698 0.03902 106 89 16 1
1952 I thought the "Boo!" would stop your hiccups. 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
1953 Wait til your Father gets home. 1.1698 0.04734 106 93 8 5
1954 If you're interested, I hear there's a Pine Club for Cacti. 1.1698 0.04126 106 90 14 2
1955 Looks like you dropped something. 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
1956 Laser? How many sessions left? 1.1698 0.04540 106 92 10 4
1957 Keep those hands up, you spineless varmint! 1.1696 0.04553 112 98 9 5
1958 They say it's hereditary 1.1696 0.03781 112 94 17 1
1959 Oh my gosh, Bob! I didn't mean to scare you! 1.1696 0.03781 112 94 17 1
1960 Keep your pecker up, son. It can happen to anyone. 1.1696 0.04185 112 96 13 3
1961 I told you, Zack, that hairdresser was affordable for a reason 1.1696 0.04185 112 96 13 3
1962 Have you tried Biotin? (By Ayelet Mintz) 1.1696 0.04185 112 96 13 3
1963 Nothing a little Rogaine can’t solve! 1.1696 0.03781 112 94 17 1
1964 It's only a dream. 1.1695 0.03671 118 99 18 1
1965 Sorry, I’ve been here the whole time. 1.1694 0.03750 124 105 17 2
1966 I told you that hormone treatment had side effects. 1.1694 0.03750 124 105 17 2
1967 I’ll turn the magnet back on if you’re sure, but it will hurt a bit. 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
1968 Before I scratch your back, what’s in it for me? 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
1969 Let me get a mirror. You’ll love it, I swear. 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
1970 You gotta stop being so spineless. 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
1971 I think I can sew them back on. Let me get a needle. 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
1972 Drop all your weapons. 1.1684 0.04650 95 82 10 3
1973 Shiver me neddles 1.1684 0.04650 95 82 10 3
1974 Do you think that weight loss injection is taking off too much? 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
1975 It's just not that big of a surprise, Ernie, dad's bald. 1.1684 0.04884 95 83 8 4
1976 It's OK, but clean those up now, or we're going to be finding them everywhere until March. 1.1684 0.04650 95 82 10 3
1977 Where’s the nearest salon?” 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
1978 Good news is, balding doesn’t run on mom’s side 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
1979 Don't worry buddy, I'll never think of you as spineless. 1.1684 0.04884 95 83 8 4
1980 I blame my maternal grandfather. 1.1684 0.04650 95 82 10 3
1981 Ben, calm down. It’s only me. 1.1684 0.04884 95 83 8 4
1982 Sure you are less prickly but are you any happier? 1.1683 0.03741 101 84 17 0
1983 I warned you about ozempic's side effects! 1.1683 0.03997 101 85 15 1
1984 Don't worry, I'll still be a thorn in your side. 1.1683 0.03741 101 84 17 0
1985 It's not the heat man, it's the stress. It's the STRESS I tell ya! 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
1986 Don't worry, it's not always true that it grows back thicker and darker. 1.1683 0.03997 101 85 15 1
1987 … needles to say 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
1988 You’re missing my points, there’s no i in cactus.” 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
1989 Put your left arm up, put your left arm down...." Don't stress just because you can't do the Hokey Pokey 1.1683 0.04682 101 88 9 4
1990 Life coach said I’d stand out 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
1991 Yeah, you have Saguaroriasis. I hear they have treatments for that now. 1.1682 0.03868 107 90 16 1
1992 Hey Prickless! 1.1682 0.04090 107 91 14 2
1993 That'll teach you not to try and hold a sneeze in! 1.1682 0.03868 107 90 16 1
1994 The good news is you can spend Halloween pretending to be a large cucumber! 1.1682 0.04300 107 92 12 3
1995 Certainly not, dear, you just have a high forehead! 1.1682 0.04090 107 91 14 2
1996 Well, that's what happens when you mess with an underage succulent. 1.1682 0.04300 107 92 12 3
1997 That haircut isn't that bad. 1.1682 0.04090 107 91 14 2
1998 Once you lose them there's no coming back. 1.1682 0.04090 107 91 14 2
1999 What did you think a full body wax was? 1.1682 0.04090 107 91 14 2
2000 Congratulations on achieving that transcendent state of shedding all defenses! 1.1682 0.04500 107 93 10 4
2001 You should have chosen Truth. 1.1681 0.04516 113 99 9 5
2002 Stick em up, pardner! Ha! Ha! I skeer’d ya. 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
2003 Really? A tumbleweed did that to you? 1.1681 0.04516 113 99 9 5
2004 I'm still not gonna hug you. 1.1681 0.03751 113 95 17 1
2005 I’m tired of hurting people. 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
2006 needlessly? 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
2007 I told you climate change would make your OCD act up! 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
2008 Have you had your aloe levels checked lately? 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
2009 Smooth move, ex-cactus. 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
2010 You could consider prick plugs. 1.1681 0.03834 119 101 16 2
2011 Looks like you can cancel that waxing appointment. 1.1681 0.03834 119 101 16 2
2012 Look, when I told you not to be so prickly, you needn't have taken me so literally. 1.1681 0.03643 119 100 18 1
2013 Geez! Grow a spine! 1.1681 0.03834 119 101 16 2
2014 Hands up, you spineless coward! 1.1667 0.04117 114 98 13 3
2015 You're fired, right? 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
2016 I think you look great, but since you asked, the humans call it Rogaine. 1.1667 0.04461 108 94 10 4
2017 I warned you about using that depilatory! 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
2018 Ok, no need to get prickly! 1.1667 0.03804 120 102 16 2
2019 You used to be a real stickler for style. 1.1667 0.04461 108 94 10 4
2020 Sorry, but you can’t blame climate change for getting old. 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2021 I'm just glad I had my eyes closed; otherwise I probably would have been scared spineless too. 1.1667 0.03984 120 103 14 3
2022 I was just kidding! Taylor Swift ISN'T dead! 1.1667 0.04461 108 94 10 4
2023 You may have misunderstood-it’s prickly PEAR, not prickly BARE 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
2024 I told you your no Hellraiser. 1.1667 0.03924 114 97 15 2
2025 I was joking when I said ‘stick ‘em up.’ 1.1667 0.03616 120 101 18 1
2026 Seriously, get a hold of yourself! 1.1667 0.03721 114 96 17 1
2027 Um, Bill… the officer was talking to the guy with the gun 1.1667 0.04179 126 110 11 5
2028 I told you not to shave. 1.1667 0.03804 120 102 16 2
2029 Really, will you stop worrying about the lack of water? 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
2030 Now, pick yourself up, and dust yourself off before the situation gets thornier. 1.1667 0.04837 96 84 8 4
2031 Prickly on the outside, but if you stick around, you'll find we're really sharp conversationalists! 1.1667 0.03961 102 86 15 1
2032 I didn't mean to scare you.... 1.1667 0.04263 108 93 12 3
2033 Don’t go! I haven’t had my orgasm yet.” 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
2034 I lost the energy to protect myself. 1.1667 0.04301 114 99 11 4
2035 Turning a new leaf,my prick days are gone. 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
2036 Sorry, allergies 1.1667 0.03804 120 102 16 2
2037 Don't worry. Bald is beautiful. 1.1667 0.03708 102 85 17 0
2038 remember, it's not being bald that sucks, it's going bald 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
2039 Sorry, Phil, I didn't mean to scare you 1.1667 0.03924 114 97 15 2
2040 Just because you are pale and spikeless, that doesn't make you less of a cactus. 1.1667 0.03984 120 103 14 3
2041 I am so sorry Lorraine. Calling you spineless was insensitive. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
2042 It’s ok. You’re just a late bloomer. 1.1667 0.04117 114 98 13 3
2043 Barry, have you been using the hair removal cream again? 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
2044 I think it's time you get a prescription for Saguarogaine. 1.1667 0.03984 120 103 14 3
2045 When I said to be less prickly, I meant emotionally… 1.1667 0.04117 114 98 13 3
2046 Let me guess, you thought it'd make you look bigger? 1.1667 0.03984 120 103 14 3
2047 you shed your winter coat a little early, I think it’s only false spring 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
2048 Bob learns of his ballot options in 2024 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
2049 ~>”It’s a good look, but you should really do something about all that back hair.” 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
2050 Alopecia is no joke 1.1667 0.04263 108 93 12 3
2051 Don’t be stressed, the cops are here to arrest the Cartel leader 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
2052 They call it Imposter Syndrome 1.1653 0.04124 121 105 12 4
2053 I told you if you kept doing "that" your spines would fall off. 1.1653 0.04124 121 105 12 4
2054 Oh, that's right, you're new to Area 51. 1.1652 0.03691 115 97 17 1
2055 It happens to everyone, Todd. 1.1652 0.03892 115 98 15 2
2056 The NUDiE Beach is further south you PRiCKLESS PEAR Cactaceae! 1.1652 0.04266 115 100 11 4
2057 Oh dear. You should have had the vaccine. 1.1651 0.03803 109 92 16 1
2058 You better grow a new set or they'll use you for toquilla. 1.1651 0.03803 109 92 16 1
2059 Call me old fashioned but I don't think it makes you look sexier. 1.1651 0.04020 109 93 14 2
2060 You aren't quite the prick they say you are! 1.1651 0.04020 109 93 14 2
2061 Hey, don't fret, male prickle baldness happens to most. 1.1651 0.04020 109 93 14 2
2062 I was talking about your personality. 1.1651 0.04423 109 95 10 4
2063 At least you won't come across as so prickly. 1.1651 0.03573 109 91 18 0
2064 Needleless to say, I've got your back. 1.1651 0.03803 109 92 16 1
2065 „May I touch it?“ 1.1651 0.04423 109 95 10 4
2066 Gee, sorry Carl. I didn't mean to sneak up on you like that. 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
2067 You just had to see what it was like up Kevin’s ass, huh? @whitepeoplehumor 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
2068 Don't worry, it all grows back after the chemo! 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
2069 It’s all very well for you to go all sensitive—but you’re gonna regret it! 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
2070 Oh dear, I think climate change is too much stress for you. 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
2071 I'll go get the sun screen ... 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
2072 At least you won't have to worry about turning gray. 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
2073 It’ll grow back… I think. 1.1650 0.03676 103 86 17 0
2074 Sorry!! I was just trying to help you get rid of your hiccups. I read scaring helps… 1.1650 0.03926 103 87 15 1
2075 At least you're not a prick 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
2076 Gesundheidt! Thought Arizona was good for allergies!! 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
2077 You look like you can use some time in an oasis. 1.1649 0.04560 97 84 10 3
2078 But you promised me you would never cact out again... 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
2079 He's just not as sharp as he used to be. 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
2080 Don't worry. Ozempic probably works for that too. 1.1649 0.04789 97 85 8 4
2081 Well, at least the tourists don't mistake ME for a cucumber. 1.1649 0.04560 97 84 10 3
2082 You don't look as sharp. 1.1649 0.04560 97 84 10 3
2083 They told me if I shaved it would grow in thicker 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
2084 I told you not to eat the tacos.🌮 1.1649 0.04789 97 85 8 4
2085 Next time you hear, 'Stick 'em up' just give them the money and chill. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
2086 Why? Because I'm tired of being needled. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
2087 We'll call you the Michael Jordan of cacti 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
2088 I told you not to stop using Rograine. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
2089 When I said "stop being a prick", that's not what I meant. 1.1648 0.03911 91 76 15 0
2090 And you’re *sure* the label said it would enhance flower production? 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
2091 You"re no longer Prickly Pete. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
2092 I don't care anymore Carl, I'm embracing this pointless life 1.1648 0.05006 91 80 7 4
2093 Sorry, didn't mean to scare the spines off of you. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
2094 You're leaving? You don't want to stick around anymore? 1.1647 0.05252 85 75 6 4
2095 You shouldn't have eaten those pickles. 1.1647 0.04978 85 74 8 3
2096 Don't sneak up on me like that! 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
2097 Don't worry about that screwy thing in the sky. I see it too. 1.1639 0.03747 122 104 16 2
2098 Um just.... don't look in a mirror. 1.1638 0.04232 116 101 11 4
2099 Well, your therapist did say to be more vulnerable. 1.1638 0.04051 116 100 13 3
2100 Stop! Drop it, you’re under arrest! 1.1638 0.04051 116 100 13 3
2101 You always were a spineless wonder!" 1.1636 0.03986 110 94 14 2
2102 how did you wax in this heat? 1.1636 0.04190 110 95 12 3
2103 Drop your weapons 1.1636 0.03986 110 94 14 2
2104 You’re really spining out of control. 1.1636 0.04190 110 95 12 3
2105 Don't look so discombobulated, cuz! - This Global Warming thing is merely a passing trend. 1.1636 0.03986 110 94 14 2
2106 I recommend an SPF 70! 1.1636 0.03771 110 93 16 1
2107 Have you tried NeedleClub for Men? 1.1635 0.04555 104 91 9 4
2108 I wont say it again, put your hands up and drop your weapons! 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
2109 This is what happens to you for not having researched the meaning of the word "alopecia". 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
2110 Shoulda used sunscreen 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
2111 Don’t move! This is a stick up! 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
2112 at least they won’t call you a prick anymore 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
2113 Hey bro - you naked! 1.1633 0.03753 98 82 16 0
2114 Just wait till your girlfriend sees this! 1.1633 0.04516 98 85 10 3
2115 I didn’t mean to needle you that badly. 1.1633 0.04743 98 86 8 4
2116 Yeah, the thought of that guy getting elected President again almost gives me the shivers too. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2117 What? You told me to calm down. So now now I’m less prickly. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2118 Look at it this way. Someone is more inclined to cuddle with you. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2119 I know what it feels like to be scared stickless! 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
2120 You may think it makes you look friendlier, but let me tell you, you’re still going nowhere 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
2121 Try minoxidil. 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
2122 Hey buddy, we don't do Brazilians here in Phoenix! 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
2123 Don't worry, that happens to a lot of guys. 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
2124 Sorry, but that doesn’t make you any more approachable. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
2125 I won't desert you, you're not completely spineless! 1.1624 0.03633 117 99 17 1
2126 We need to come up with a better point system 1.1624 0.03831 117 100 15 2
2127 I don't think I've ever seen you actually seen you scared prickless before! 1.1622 0.04155 111 96 12 3
2128 Don't worry, this happens to lots of agaves your age." 1.1622 0.04348 111 97 10 4
2129 Like, I didn't warn you about manscaping on your own. 1.1622 0.03953 111 95 14 2
2130 Do you think it might be... alopecia? 1.1622 0.03953 111 95 14 2
2131 Acceptance, buddy. 1.1622 0.03740 111 94 16 1
2132 See there’s nothing you can do because your mother’s father was… 1.1622 0.03953 111 95 14 2
2133 Hey Dude, you're nude!!!! 1.1622 0.04155 111 96 12 3
2134 Needle-less to say, your spikes are desert-ing en masse 1.1622 0.03953 111 95 14 2
2135 And then he said, "Don't move and drop your spines"! 1.1619 0.04088 105 90 13 2
2136 It's autoimmune 1.1619 0.04306 105 91 11 3
2137 You need to see a Cactologist 1.1619 0.04514 105 92 9 4
2138 You're going to need to wear a prophylactic. 1.1619 0.03857 105 89 15 1
2139 Luckily you still have your charming personality 1.1619 0.03857 105 89 15 1
2140 It can happen to anycactus. 1.1616 0.03986 99 84 14 1
2141 I know you're feeling self conscious, but I've seen these ads on Facebook... 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
2142 Whoa! Just kidding Joe, I've been behind you for 30 years without gun, why would I have one now? 1.1616 0.03986 99 84 14 1
2143 Are you sure the label actually said sun screen? 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
2144 You'll burn if you stay out in the sun like that. 1.1616 0.03986 99 84 14 1
2145 I said Coachella was cactus beetle optional, not cactus needle optional. 1.1616 0.03986 99 84 14 1
2146 I didn't think the Wegovy was supposed to do that. 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
2147 I guess those sulphate-free shampoos aren’t working for you 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
2148 That was quite a scare! 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
2149 Don’t move! 1.1613 0.03316 124 104 20 0
2150 You'll always be a prickly s.o.b. to me, Frank no matter what you do. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
2151 On the up side, you are getting quite an even tan. 1.1610 0.03398 118 99 19 0
2152 Is it because I made the offhand comment last week about you having a prickly demeanor?! 1.1610 0.04164 118 103 11 4
2153 You look like a school bus on summer break, no pricks. 1.1609 0.03962 87 73 14 0
2154 This doesn't make you any less of a succulent. 1.1609 0.03962 87 73 14 0
2155 Relax, think Michael Jordan, he lost his early and did just fine! 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
2156 Yes Gary, they usually play the 'loves me, loves me not' game with daisies. 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
2157 It's not a gun. I'm just happy to see you. 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
2158 Remind me: are beards in or out? 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
2159 Did you use the nair or sunblock? 1.1607 0.03710 112 95 16 1
2160 Pretty much everything scares you. 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
2161 I have to admit, I am definitely more defensive 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2162 No, it wasn't a ghost....just a cloud off target 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
2163 Next time just accept all cookies. 1.1604 0.04474 106 93 9 4
2164 She loves me. She loves me not. Oh no! 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2165 It’s always been cacti with you and never cactus 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2166 'Carlos, we need to talk about the peyote dosage' 1.1604 0.04474 106 93 9 4
2167 You look like a cucumber with arms. 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2168 Oh, no, the new pinnywise 1.1604 0.04474 106 93 9 4
2169 Don’t sweat it, you’ll save money on haircuts 1.1604 0.03824 106 90 15 1
2170 Dont move -- this is a stickup! 1.1604 0.04670 106 94 7 5
2171 I told you! You're going to get sunburned if you stand there naked! 1.1604 0.04474 106 93 9 4
2172 Don't feel bad. It happens to almost everyone. 1.1604 0.03581 106 89 17 0
2173 I guess no one’s safe from the effects of Panera lemonade, huh? 1.1604 0.04474 106 93 9 4
2174 Have you tried lessening your attachment to your identity as a cactus? 1.1604 0.03824 106 90 15 1
2175 I don’t think you’re the hide-and-seek master that you think you are. 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
2176 Really? You’re moving to Brazil? 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2177 Psst! I heard there's a sale on Rogaine. 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2178 I told you not to sneeze. 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2179 A Mexican hairless. 1.1600 0.03835 125 108 14 3
2180 Don't worry, bald is in. 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2181 don't worry that's a contemporary side effect 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2182 I am not your expectations 1.1600 0.04431 100 87 10 3
2183 Drop your weapons and keep your arms up 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2184 They asked me to stop being a prick, and I actually listened? 1.1600 0.03483 125 106 18 1
2185 So, I take it, the Nutrafol was a flop? 1.1597 0.03955 119 103 13 3
2186 Don’t be a prick…anyone can change. 1.1597 0.03955 119 103 13 3
2187 Pardon the pun, but it looks like you are in a real prickle 1.1596 0.04855 94 83 7 4
2188 You may have gone bald, but you're still beautiful to me. 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
2189 I told you 64oz of water per day doesn't apply to us! 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
2190 Stop needling me! 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
2191 We used to be a prickly pair, but you’ve changed! 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
2192 Relax! You can put your arms down. I’m not an immigrant cacti. 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
2193 You really look like a cucumber, you know that? 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
2194 Now if you were also built like the Rock, I'd be interested. 1.1596 0.03797 94 79 15 0
2195 No protection isn’t worth an even tan. 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
2196 Is it me, because you never seem thorny anymore. 1.1593 0.04275 113 99 10 4
2197 Scared Thornless 1.1593 0.04086 113 98 12 3
2198 I was only joking when I said “stick em up” 1.1593 0.03679 113 96 16 1
2199 Yes I know. I’m thirsty too. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
2200 Don't fret. Those are merely your baby spines. 1.1591 0.04818 88 77 8 3
2201 Have you tried Minoxidil? 1.1589 0.04017 107 92 13 2
2202 Breaking news on the Starship Enterprise: Data's positronic needles called it quits. His new motto? 'Life's too short to be sharp all the time.' Watch out, galaxy! 1.1589 0.04017 107 92 13 2
2203 All right, all right, you're not a total prick already. 1.1589 0.04017 107 92 13 2
2204 I ‘ll love you just the same. 1.1589 0.04017 107 92 13 2
2205 Your mother's bad genes aren't contagious, are they? 1.1589 0.04017 107 92 13 2
2206 Don't worry. Once your through with the Chemo , they'll all grow back. 1.1589 0.04231 107 93 11 3
2207 The Supreme Court --huh? 1.1589 0.04017 107 92 13 2
2208 Oh man, that succs. 1.1589 0.03791 107 91 15 1
2209 Dad told us! “Never go to a new barber!” 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
2210 Is it the get shredded for the summer program or the get shredded by the summer program that's working? 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2211 Looks like another case of prickless heat. 1.1584 0.04610 101 89 8 4
2212 I keep telling ya, it's global warming! 1.1584 0.04610 101 89 8 4
2213 You need to shave first. 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2214 My mother was right. You can’t even take care of yourself!” Julia Rudick, Philadelphia, P 1.1584 0.03913 101 86 14 1
2215 You can always just wear a hat 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2216 sorry 1.1584 0.03913 101 86 14 1
2217 Keep my wife's name out of your mouth... 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2218 is it me, or are you shedding! 1.1584 0.03913 101 86 14 1
2219 Climate change really taking its toll, mate. 1.1584 0.03913 101 86 14 1
2220 I told you 'just a little off the top'. 1.1583 0.04099 120 105 11 4
2221 Didn't I tell you not to use a brush? 1.1583 0.03742 120 103 15 2
2222 'No,' you said. 'I don't need to wear a mask....' 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
2223 Two words: Twig. Wig. 1.1579 0.04053 114 99 12 3
2224 Ralph, it’s not your fault. Male pattern depricklin runs in your family. 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
2225 Can I still call you Whiskers? 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
2226 Next time pay attention to the side effect warnings. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2227 Buddy, it's OK. Go gracefully. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2228 This part of the desert is not nude. That's only for beaches. The sand probably confused you but Christ get it together. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2229 ...I toss in my sleep. 1.1579 0.03650 114 97 16 1
2230 I remember my first Brazilian 1.1579 0.04240 114 100 10 4
2231 At least it's a dry bald 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
2232 Talk about moving the needle. 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
2233 Some guys look better without them. I think it makes you look like Spruce Willis. 1.1579 0.04053 114 99 12 3
2234 What the Fucculent?! You’re Spineless! 1.1579 0.04419 114 101 8 5
2235 It's okay, it happens. Have you thought of trying Spinagra? 1.1579 0.04240 114 100 10 4
2236 I’ve heard exfoliation beforehand is critical…” 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
2237 Ooh, sorry Curly, now your name is doubly ironic! 1.1579 0.03761 95 80 15 0
2238 How come you lost your hair? 1.1574 0.04194 108 94 11 3
2239 Don't you ever get prickly heat? 1.1574 0.03521 108 91 17 0
2240 Ahhh . . .Frank, you just lost your identity. 1.1574 0.03758 108 92 15 1
2241 Are you leafing me ?? 1.1574 0.03982 108 93 13 2
2242 Needle loss is God's way of telling you you're a cactus. 1.1574 0.04194 108 94 11 3
2243 Well, now you get the chance for an even tan. 1.1574 0.04194 108 94 11 3
2244 Hey! Stop littering! 1.1574 0.03758 108 92 15 1
2245 You can be different. 1.1574 0.03982 108 93 13 2
2246 It's true what they say. You'll need to pluck twice as much as before! 1.1574 0.03521 108 91 17 0
2247 Have you tried Propecia? 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
2248 Do I have to shave to go out tonite? 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
2249 You look a little prickish there. 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
2250 You never know when your true love is going to come so I suggest you put something on. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
2251 SPF 10,000 works great on your skin, but it’s hell on your needles. 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2252 I never dreamed you could be so spineless. 1.1569 0.03878 102 87 14 1
2253 It was a joke, the stock market didn't drop by 75 percent. 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2254 You’re about to see the necessity of a prickly personality… 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
2255 Hot enough for ya? 1.1569 0.03878 102 87 14 1
2256 I'm arresting you for indecent exposure! 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2257 Are you sure that was just lotion dude? 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2258 You always over manscape! 1.1569 0.03619 102 86 16 0
2259 Sorry to scare you! 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2260 You spineless bastard! 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
2261 I am your father. 1.1565 0.03825 115 99 14 2
2262 You’re less than a prick than I am. 1.1565 0.03825 115 99 14 2
2263 I get that you want to be liked, but why do you have to be so spineless? 1.1565 0.03620 115 98 16 1
2264 You're not going to get that promotion as long as you're spineless! You need to be a thorn in their side! 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
2265 It's probably just stress. Try some hot yoga. 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
2266 Just think...moms and young children can play with you now. 1.1562 0.03725 96 81 15 0
2267 you think your so smooth 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
2268 It's not my fault. It comes from your mother's side of the family. 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
2269 It’s too late, I’m all dried up 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2270 Have you been staying hydrated? 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
2271 Come to terms with it … just wear a cap. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2272 Still can’t find your crypto key? 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
2273 You’re meant to use it only on your balls you fool 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2274 Sorry mate, didn’t mean to scare ya like that. Just wondering if ya had the time. Well, alright then…have a good one 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2275 Can we still go to the pool? 1.1560 0.03727 109 93 15 1
2276 I don’t think you did that right. 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2277 I told you not to let your brother give you a haircut. 1.1560 0.04158 109 95 11 3
2278 We lefties are very prickly 1.1560 0.03727 109 93 15 1
2279 I think you over did it on your dermabrasion 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2280 I was kidding when I said: 'Stick 'em up!' 1.1560 0.04158 109 95 11 3
2281 I'm not sure, but I think this is natural. 1.1560 0.04158 109 95 11 3
2282 Does this mean we're not a Prickly Pair anymore? 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2283 Your spikes peel when you get sunburnt,my friend. 1.1557 0.03685 122 105 15 2
2284 Ope, let me sneak past ya there. 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
2285 Hello I’m Dr. Prickles and I’m here to administer your rectal exam 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
2286 Oh my gosh! I am so sorry! I didn’t realize you were shedding. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
2287 Don't try to blame it on "climate change". You're just geeting old. 1.1553 0.03843 103 88 14 1
2288 Don't worry, you won't dehydrate too quickly now that the sun is just a squiggly spiral. 1.1553 0.04731 103 92 6 5
2289 Hey man. We all get startled sometimes. It's ok. 1.1553 0.04310 103 90 10 3
2290 Sorry, my sneeze was a bit strong 1.1553 0.03843 103 88 14 1
2291 your water or your life 1.1553 0.03843 103 88 14 1
2292 That barber in Tucson got a little frisky didn’t he? 1.1553 0.04310 103 90 10 3
2293 Is this because you are concerned about uneven tan lines? 1.1553 0.03843 103 88 14 1
2294 Don’t worry Bob, it happens to every cactus sometimes.” 1.1553 0.03843 103 88 14 1
2295 You've got to give up needling. 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2296 At least now nobody can say you are a prick. 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2297 That's why I always put on sunscreens. 1.1553 0.03843 103 88 14 1
2298 Sorry, I didn’t realize you had a sunburn. 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2299 Smooth move, Prick. 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2300 That’s why I always keep my left arm down. 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2301 I told you not to over tweeze! 1.1553 0.03843 103 88 14 1
2302 You have no spine ! I'd rather be spineless than a prick ! 1.1552 0.03794 116 100 14 2
2303 Next meeting, just talk about the book. 1.1552 0.03376 116 98 18 0
2304 P'sst heard of rogaine? 1.1552 0.03376 116 98 18 0
2305 Saw a ghost last night Pete? 1.1552 0.03987 116 101 12 3
2306 Donald Trump won the general election!! 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
2307 It’s what inside that counts, Jack. 1.1548 0.03970 84 71 13 0
2308 Well... It does make you look bigger... 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
2309 I feel so naked! 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
2310 What's the dill pickle? 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2311 I warned you about eating all those gummies! 1.1546 0.03690 97 82 15 0
2312 Just so you know, I am sleeping in the guest room tonight. 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
2313 Did you ever notice that none of the other cacti can talk? 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2314 Don't worry, I'll prescribe Propecia. 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2315 I wouldn't want to be you when Mom gets back. 1.1546 0.04713 97 86 7 4
2316 Need some help? You missed a spot back there- 1.1546 0.03690 97 82 15 0
2317 Don't worry. It happens to all of us. 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
2318 Your impersonation of a cucumber lacks sharpness 1.1546 0.03690 97 82 15 0
2319 Hey, no worries. You look sexier! 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
2320 I’m not just the President, I’m a member 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
2321 Brazilian wax on steroids or global warming; you choose 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
2322 I’m scared needless today! 1.1546 0.03690 97 82 15 0
2323 It's just a bad hair day. 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
2324 It happened to my last partner all the time. 1.1546 0.03690 97 82 15 0
2325 You just don’t seem quite as sharp as before -Taylor S Boston, MA 1.1546 0.04713 97 86 7 4
2326 Don’t freak out, but I think we’ve got a classic ‘Gift of the Cacti’ situation here. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
2327 This motherfucker 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
2328 Your ass is grass. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
2329 You can lower your limbs, Slim, the outlaws have skedaddled. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
2330 I shaved for this?! 1.1545 0.03695 110 94 15 1
2331 It’s common. It happens to every guy, it’s not a big deal 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
2332 I told you not to listen to that YouTube influencer. 1.1545 0.03835 123 107 13 3
2333 it's obvious that you didn't come to the self-defence classes. 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
2334 I didn’t really mean you were a prick… 1.1538 0.03809 104 89 14 1
2335 You can't just pick up and move, you have roots here. 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
2336 Sorry, dude. Thought you knew I was here. 1.1538 0.03555 104 88 16 0
2337 You forgot to ask the ranchers for your Rogaine fertilizer again, didn’t you? 1.1538 0.04271 104 91 10 3
2338 You are killing me with your high fives! 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
2339 I told you sunscreen was a really bad idea. 1.1538 0.03764 117 101 14 2
2340 I need water, I'm dying out here! 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
2341 You shaved a little close, didn’t you buddy? 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
2342 It’s a prickle pickle 1.1538 0.03809 104 89 14 1
2343 Showing off your muscles wasn't such a good idea after all! 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
2344 I told you not to take that bet on that you’d drop your needles if Krysten Sinema didn’t run again. 1.1538 0.04137 117 103 10 4
2345 Umm, that's not what I meant when I said shed your baggage 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
2346 Naked and Afraid?! 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
2347 I would give anything if you could scratch my back. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
2348 Even if what we just saw was a UFO, why get so spooked ? We can't run or hide. 1.1538 0.03555 104 88 16 0
2349 I told you the store brand lotion isn’t the same 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
2350 I'm sorry, I can be a prick sometimes. Please forgive me. 1.1538 0.04688 104 93 6 5
2351 I’m sorry, I thought you knew I was behind you 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
2352 You scared the pricks out of me. Nicole L. Stevens, Chicago, IL 1.1532 0.04087 111 97 11 3
2353 I'm not a doctor, but I recommend Rogaine. 1.1532 0.03665 111 95 15 1
2354 This is the wrong place to upload to the cloud. 1.1532 0.03882 111 96 13 2
2355 Pssst, Hank! Your nopalitos are showing. 1.1532 0.03882 111 96 13 2
2356 Smoove Dawg. Smoove. 1.1532 0.04087 111 97 11 3
2357 Stop freaking out. I just said "Hi Jack!" 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
2358 So, how's chemo going, Kemo Sabe? 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
2359 I don’t think this is what your therapist meant when he said to make yourself more vulnerable. 1.1531 0.04436 98 86 9 3
2360 They say being vulnerable is a sign of growth 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
2361 Hey buddy, that dandruff dry shampoo really killed it, huh? 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
2362 You've been pronouncing it wrong. We're 'suh·waa·row.' 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
2363 On the bright side, you’re not completely pointless. 1.1531 0.03656 98 83 15 0
2364 Alexa, play Free fallin' by Tom Petty 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
2365 I warned you to lay off the sublock. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
2366 Rogaine, no pain! 1.1529 0.04881 85 75 7 3
2367 Do not go gentle into the harsh sun. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
2368 I told you not to shave, Steve. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
2369 I told you they weren't seeds. 1.1525 0.03924 118 103 12 3
2370 Don’t worry…I’m sure you’ll look great in a combover. 1.1524 0.04232 105 92 10 3
2371 I thought letting your guard down was not your thing. 1.1524 0.04010 105 91 12 2
2372 Sorry for your diagnosis. Don't worry, it'll grow back. 1.1524 0.03775 105 90 14 1
2373 What do you mean it was love from the first sight? 1.1524 0.03775 105 90 14 1
2374 Don't despair. Some women love bald men. 1.1524 0.03775 105 90 14 1
2375 Whoa! That bus passed a little close, huh?" 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
2376 Instead of worrying why you’re losing needles, try wearing a hat and applying aloe….! 1.1522 0.04872 92 82 6 4
2377 Honest, I promise I’ll never sneak up on you like that again. 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
2378 And then she figured out the call was coming from inside the house! 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
2379 Dye,I tell you! It's worked for presidents! 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
2380 Jesus Carl, you scared the needles off of me! 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
2381 I know I'm being prickly with you ! 1.1522 0.03765 92 78 14 0
2382 You need to grow a spine! 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2383 I'm not only the Needle Club president but I'm also a client. 1.1520 0.03602 125 108 15 2
2384 Now,why did you use that depilatory cream? We are no longer a prickly pair! 1.1518 0.04247 112 99 9 4
2385 That's right, 91 felony counts. 1.1518 0.04053 112 98 11 3
2386 I told you if you switched to that Party you’d be spineless. 1.1515 0.04622 99 88 7 4
2387 Look on the bright side -- saguaro pattern baldness will skip over your kids. 1.1515 0.04622 99 88 7 4
2388 I told you those implants wouldn't work 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
2389 No matter what you try, you will never deciduous. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2390 When I said you were prickly, I meant it as a compliment. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2391 Your money or your spikes. 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
2392 Sorry, I should have knocked first. 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
2393 I told you not to buy that Nair, but nooo, you just had to try it. 1.1515 0.03622 99 84 15 0
2394 Happens to all of us. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2395 Give it up, Bob. The cucumbers will not be fooled by this. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2396 Oh oh, too close a shave. 1.1513 0.04071 119 105 10 4
2397 Global warming is getting so bad its got us shedding. 1.1513 0.03508 119 102 16 1
2398 If it's any consolation to you, the clean-shaven look used to be really popular. 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
2399 Did the bottle say depilatory or spf30 ? 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
2400 Would it be mean to say you're spineless? 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
2401 Uh, gesundheit? 1.1512 0.03885 86 73 13 0
2402 It’s a Biden vs Trump kinda day 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
2403 You know it's not a nude beach, right? 1.1509 0.03494 106 90 16 0
2404 I've been meaning to tell you, you're less of a prick these days. 1.1509 0.03742 106 91 14 1
2405 Hey, relax. Didn't mean to sneak up on you like that. 1.1509 0.03494 106 90 16 0
2406 It seems pointless for a cactus to sneeze, don't you think? 1.1509 0.04195 106 93 10 3
2407 "Don't worry bud, even without needles you still look quite sharp." 1.1509 0.03975 106 92 12 2
2408 Not even a porcupine would have done that. 1.1509 0.03742 106 91 14 1
2409 On the bright side,therapy seems to be working wonders 1.1509 0.03975 106 92 12 2
2410 Is this part of your New Year’s resolution? 1.1509 0.03742 106 91 14 1
2411 But at least your hiccups are gone! 1.1509 0.04195 106 93 10 3
2412 You know it's okay to go au natural, right? 1.1509 0.04195 106 93 10 3
2413 You caught me bare needled. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2414 stick with me and you'll be OK 1.1505 0.04822 93 83 6 4
2415 Why are you so spineless? 1.1505 0.03728 93 79 14 0
2416 It might be October, but our kind doesn't do that. 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
2417 Hey there…your barber sure used the wrong setting! 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2418 Sorry man, I thought you saw me 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2419 Don't worry, Will Smith will protect your honor. 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
2420 ‘Freeze!’ 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
2421 I think your older than you told me. 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
2422 I warned you to stop needling me! 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
2423 For what it’s worth, you don’t look like such a prick now. 1.1500 0.03676 120 104 14 2
2424 Excuse me Sir, this is a family friendly desert 1.1500 0.05063 80 71 6 3
2425 Come back when you can do the Hokey Pokey 1.1500 0.03589 100 85 15 0
2426 I appreciate your openness, but you're still a prick. 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
2427 Think positive - all the time you'll save not shaving! 1.1500 0.04578 100 89 7 4
2428 Can't handle the prickly nature of the job, eh? 1.1500 0.03676 120 104 14 2
2429 One prickly pair. 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
2430 You might want to lay off the ozempic. 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
2431 Don't fret, at least you'll lose that spine tingling sensation. 1.1495 0.03940 107 93 12 2
2432 It's Wile E. Coyote! 1.1495 0.03710 107 92 14 1
2433 People will think you're under age. 1.1495 0.03710 107 92 14 1
2434 I said prickly 1.1495 0.03710 107 92 14 1
2435 Do you still have the feeling of pins and needles? 1.1495 0.03940 107 93 12 2
2436 I warned you about using that new shampoo. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2437 This is why cacti don’t get Brazilians. 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
2438 Wait, I didn't mean Kari Lake was coming here... 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
2439 I’m not just the president I’m a customer. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
2440 Come on, I only said „oh”. I didn’t mean it’s small! 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2441 I didn't mean it Jerry, you're not a prick. 1.1491 0.03575 114 98 15 1
2442 Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to goose you that hard. 1.1491 0.03575 114 98 15 1
2443 Guess you won't be prickly anymore 1.1491 0.03986 114 100 11 3
2444 Okay, don't freak out 1.1491 0.03786 114 99 13 2
2445 Now turn around, very slowly 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
2446 No, no, no! You're supposed to make aloe vera, not alopecia. 1.1489 0.04773 94 84 6 4
2447 That is thorns down the craziest thing I've seen in a long time! 1.1489 0.03692 94 80 14 0
2448 Whaja fall asleep in the barber’s chair? 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2449 Buddy, please don't lose it just because Trump came to the border. 1.1489 0.05007 94 85 4 5
2450 Who did this to you? 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
2451 Have you considered monoxidil? 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
2452 How many times have I told you; never have both arms up! 1.1489 0.03692 94 80 14 0
2453 Maybe you're part pine. 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
2454 You’re being a thorn in my side 1.1489 0.03692 94 80 14 0
2455 Could he global warming, but you’re still not spineless. 1.1488 0.03648 121 105 14 2
2456 Did what I say shock you? 1.1488 0.03648 121 105 14 2
2457 Your needles or your life. 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
2458 At least you have not lost your sense of humor! 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
2459 Oh man, you just read the latest Trump / Biden poll, didn't you..... 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
2460 Don't let them get to you. You're not totally spineless. 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
2461 I know, but 3rd place in the cucumber impression contest is quite an achievement. 1.1485 0.03556 101 86 15 0
2462 You sure are sweating a lot! 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
2463 Your disguise never fooled me for an instant. 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
2464 Who you calling a prick? 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
2465 I told you it wasn't a good look for you... 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
2466 It's so tough to get a good blowout these days. 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
2467 You'll feel better after you finish rehab. 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
2468 No comment from me - I’m afraid of Will Smith. 1.1485 0.04535 101 90 7 4
2469 Let's just move to New York. We'll fit right in. 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
2470 Looks like your barber went overboard 1.1485 0.04535 101 90 7 4
2471 Ah! You scared me prickless! 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
2472 Hold up your hands and drop your weapons! 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
2473 I didn't see anything! 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
2474 I warned you about that depilatory. 1.1481 0.04326 108 96 8 4
2475 Have you heard of manscaping ? 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
2476 Please use Gillette... 1.1481 0.05003 81 72 6 3
2477 I'd say you need to grow more than a pair. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
2478 Lookin' slick, Jim. 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
2479 No, no, it'll work! We'll just need a LOT of haystacks. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
2480 I warned ya not to hook up with the porcupine 1.1478 0.03953 115 101 11 3
2481 Hands in the air and don't turn around." "This is a prick up! 1.1478 0.04142 115 102 9 4
2482 All my life I’ve complained about those pricks, and now I miss them. 1.1478 0.03755 115 100 13 2
2483 Bro, You NEED to use sunblock! 1.1478 0.03953 115 101 11 3
2484 Police! Drop your weapons NOW! 1.1478 0.03546 115 99 15 1
2485 You watched 'The Exorcist', didn't you? 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
2486 So much for us being a prickly pair. 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
2487 The shock and the shocked 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
2488 .....and I said, "Its a DEPILATORY", but did you listen? 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
2489 Stop being such a prick! Oh wait, nevermind... 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
2490 I should've warned you--never put both arms up at the same time. 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
2491 You used to be a prick! But now you’re all into this positive stuff. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
2492 Don’t be ridiculous- I like you without the beard. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
2493 Love hurts sometimes🌵 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
2494 You always were a bit of a prick 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
2495 I told you, it isn't Sunscreen. 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
2496 Don't worry. I know a guy in Turkey. 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
2497 Don’t feel bad, Lou – it happens to 50% of cacti our age. 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
2498 At least you’re in California. 1.1474 0.03656 95 81 14 0
2499 how dare you call me a prick 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
2500 Hands up! 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
2501 I’m never using that barber again! 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
2502 I thought porcupines lived in the forests. How could one be your father ...or mother? 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
2503 Now you just look like a giant dill pickle...with arms! 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
2504 You have been a little stressed lately. 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
2505 I told you, acupuncture doesn’t work for us in the same way! 1.1474 0.03656 95 81 14 0
2506 Not tonight honey, I'm not feeling THORNy enough 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
2507 I don’t know if it’s a climate pattern thing or male pattern thing. 1.1471 0.03524 102 87 15 0
2508 By “hold up” I meant “wait for me!” 1.1471 0.03790 102 88 13 1
2509 You still look great to me. 1.1471 0.03524 102 87 15 0
2510 You are just going through puberty. 1.1471 0.03790 102 88 13 1
2511 At least you still have your wit to use as a defense mechanism. 1.1471 0.03524 102 87 15 0
2512 Now you know what it feels like to be deciduous. 1.1471 0.04038 102 89 11 2
2513 Shedding gave you smooth skin, but you'll be wrinkled after the birds drain you dry. 1.1471 0.04271 102 90 9 3
2514 Cact me 1.1471 0.04271 102 90 9 3
2515 I thought you said "shave it." 1.1468 0.04086 109 96 10 3
2516 Don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys the first time. 1.1468 0.04482 109 98 6 5
2517 Boy, that’s a bad case of the shivers…went down all of your spines! 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
2518 Uh oh, your chemo just kicked in. 1.1468 0.04086 109 96 10 3
2519 embarrassed 1.1468 0.03405 109 93 16 0
2520 Need a plug for plugs? 1.1468 0.03646 109 94 14 1
2521 Have you heard about Spine Club for Men? 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
2522 Don't worry--if Chris Rock says anything, I'll deck him. 1.1468 0.04086 109 96 10 3
2523 Let’s call 911 1.1468 0.03405 109 93 16 0
2524 I told you not to use hair spray. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
2525 The bright side is no one can call you a prick anymore. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
2526 And mine are turning gray. Aging ain't for sissies. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
2527 I didn't mean to sleep with your husband. Also, we are cacti. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
2528 Who are you getting all dolled up for, Monica? 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2529 This is a stick up. 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
2530 When you realize that you are the proverbial thorn but life ain't a bed of roses for you too. 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
2531 But you still have the hair on your back... 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
2532 I guess that really happens when you play with yourself! 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2533 Male-pattern baldness must run in your family. 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
2534 It's March, there is no reason to still be doing No Shave November. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2535 Be smooth, just how they like it 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2536 I told you that depilatory cream was too strong. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2537 Reach for the sky! 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2538 I'm sorry, I thought you knew you were going to spend the rest of your life right here. 1.1461 0.05191 89 81 3 5
2539 Can't say I didn't warn you to put on sunblock! 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2540 Reach for the sky,you spineless succulent! 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2541 Stripping won't keep the wrens out! 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2542 I asked for “dessert”, not “desert!” 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2543 I just said you need to shed that prickly personality. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2544 When I said you had no spine this is not what I meant! 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
2545 I know a specialist who can get that back for you in a pinch 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
2546 We can make the case for self-defense. 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
2547 🌵”Saguaro here often?” 🌵 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
2548 Buck up, Doug. Everything falls apart after 40. 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
2549 They can sort it out in Istanbul 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
2550 Not what i meant by shave it off 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
2551 I said just a trim Harold 1.1458 0.03621 96 82 14 0
2552 Sorry I was a prick 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
2553 It's just floral-pattern baldness. It happens to us all, eventually. 1.1456 0.04001 103 90 11 2
2554 What a pair we make. You've got Saguaro pattern balding and I suffer from erectile stem dysfunction. 1.1456 0.04001 103 90 11 2
2555 Told you to go easy on the shampoo 1.1456 0.04232 103 91 9 3
2556 Whoa, what happened to your 5 o'clock shadow? 1.1456 0.04001 103 90 11 2
2557 Wow . . . just like Trump, not much sticks. 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
2558 Excuse me. I think I’m having a stroke. 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
2559 Quick, find some Paxlovid! 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
2560 I, for one, think you look better bald. 1.1456 0.04232 103 91 9 3
2561 I think you are a cat-tus. 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
2562 Don’t worry, Carl, it happens to lots of guys! 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
2563 Bro, only a tree would fall for that gimmick. 1.1456 0.04232 103 91 9 3
2564 I think you've taken your landscaping a little too far. 1.1456 0.04451 103 92 7 4
2565 Excuse me, are you Brazilian? 1.1456 0.04001 103 90 11 2
2566 Nailed it. 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
2567 I didn't mean to get so prickly. 1.1455 0.03615 110 95 14 1
2568 Hey Babe! I said to scratch me itchy back! 1.1455 0.03615 110 95 14 1
2569 I said Rogaine, not Nair. 1.1455 0.03615 110 95 14 1
2570 Don't fret. The romaine I used made my arm droop." 1.1453 0.03695 117 102 13 2
2571 Stop being.... Oh no! 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2572 No, we’re NOT deciduous. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2573 I'm sure he won't win in November 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
2574 No high five? What are you a cactus needle elitist? 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2575 Wait don’t leave; I’ll refrain from staring. 1.1446 0.04889 83 74 6 3
2576 Ah, so you CAN take the Spike outta Cactus.... 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
2577 Told ya you were sticking them in backwards. 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
2578 I didn't mean to scare you THAT badly! 1.1444 0.03726 90 77 13 0
2579 How was the vacation in Alamogordo? 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
2580 I warned you the dangers of running with scissors. 1.1444 0.04623 90 80 7 3
2581 ‘Is that gonna happen to me in my 40’s too?’ 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
2582 Carl, do what the man says” “I can’t freeze in these conditions 1.1444 0.03726 90 77 13 0
2583 Heck if I know, it's got me stumped! 1.1443 0.03587 97 83 14 0
2584 Dermatologists recommend reducing your time in the sun, not your spines in the sun. 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
2585 Have you tried Nutrafol for needles? 1.1443 0.04632 97 87 6 4
2586 I'm sorry honey. Really, you look great! I just didn't recognize you with that new hair style. 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
2587 I didn't mean it when I called you prickly. 1.1443 0.04394 97 86 8 3
2588 She said she'd make a watermelon out of you! 1.1443 0.03875 97 84 12 1
2589 Whoa, that was Epic!! 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
2590 I always knew you were spineless! 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
2591 Don't worry-- if Chris Rock makes fun of you I'll bitch-slap him. 1.1443 0.04632 97 87 6 4
2592 Dude! No one wants to look at that! 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
2593 Why did you shave? It’l grow back… 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
2594 You’re less of a prick than I am. 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
2595 Sorry, didn't mean to sneak up on ya. 1.1442 0.03965 104 91 11 2
2596 One more sneeze like that and you’ll be in a real pickle. 1.1442 0.04193 104 92 9 3
2597 Oh no, someone dug up the reverse voodoo doll. 1.1442 0.03965 104 91 11 2
2598 Oh, you'll be cold. 1.1442 0.03965 104 91 11 2
2599 I told you that acted as a depilatory on us! 1.1442 0.03462 104 89 15 0
2600 They said you wore it better. 1.1442 0.03462 104 89 15 0
2601 Sorry I was so prickly… 1.1442 0.03965 104 91 11 2
2602 Are you feeling vulnerable? 1.1441 0.03585 111 96 14 1
2603 So, do you think going naked will make you an eye-catcher? 1.1441 0.04016 111 98 10 3
2604 You should have taken more precautions prior to the Trinity test 1.1441 0.03585 111 96 14 1
2605 Look at it this way--no more prickly heat. 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
2606 Could you at least put a shirt on? 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
2607 You've really gotten yourself out of a prickly situation this time! 1.1429 0.03553 98 84 14 0
2608 I told you stress would make your spines fall out. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
2609 They say it’s hereditary from your mother’s side. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
2610 This ain't no nudist beach, Eric 1.1429 0.03553 98 84 14 0
2611 Just don't hug back. 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
2612 Well, at least you are no longer a prick. 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
2613 Don’t worry there’s a pill for that. 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
2614 At least there’s no haystack. 1.1429 0.03553 98 84 14 0
2615 Without any points, I fear you have no argument against Stormy. 1.1429 0.04156 105 93 9 3
2616 I hate to say 'I told you so..' but when you started therapy, the writing was on the wall. 1.1429 0.04351 98 87 8 3
2617 You can always try Rogaine. 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
2618 I've heard finasteride plus minoxidil can help 1.1429 0.04156 105 93 9 3
2619 I said needless! 1.1429 0.03553 98 84 14 0
2620 Yo, your crush is definitely going to be able to tell that you’re really nervous right now. 1.1429 0.04833 84 75 6 3
2621 You have to give me the name of the depilatory you're using. 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
2622 Needless to say, you've lost your needles. 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
2623 You really need to learn how to grow a spine. 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
2624 I think it's more than a pollen allergy. 1.1429 0.03982 112 99 10 3
2625 It's ok, Dennis. Let yourself be vulnerable for once. 1.1429 0.04351 98 87 8 3
2626 Who's your barber? 1.1429 0.03982 112 99 10 3
2627 Need hrt honey 1.1429 0.03321 112 96 16 0
2628 Don’t blame me…I heard it would make you look bigger! 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
2629 It’s okay buddy, we all feel spineless sometimes. 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
2630 I told you not to watch the filming of ''Oppenhiemer' last night" 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
2631 Wow, now you look like the richest cactus in the world! 1.1429 0.03637 119 104 13 2
2632 Don't move. You're in a prickly situation. 1.1429 0.03689 91 78 13 0
2633 Maybe you should have used Propecia. 1.1429 0.03689 105 91 13 1
2634 Guess I could use a wax, too. 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
2635 You know Brazil doesn't have cacti, right? 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
2636 Just avoid Chris Rock and you should be fine. 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
2637 Stop bingeing all those horror shows. 1.1429 0.03689 105 91 13 1
2638 Not only are you not royalty, but you're naked too. 1.1429 0.04833 84 75 6 3
2639 Trying out a new stylist is risky. 1.1429 0.04009 119 106 9 4
2640 I feel myself lighter, rightnow. 1.1429 0.05135 77 69 5 3
2641 Here, take mine❤ 1.1429 0.03929 105 92 11 2
2642 Getting a Brazilian wax is never a good idea 1.1429 0.03689 91 78 13 0
2643 Don’t let your guard down. 1.1415 0.03656 106 92 13 1
2644 cactus no brim 1.1415 0.03894 106 93 11 2
2645 it looks like your barber went overboard on the Cueball Cut? 1.1415 0.03894 106 93 11 2
2646 Sorry. I didn’t mean to be so prickly. 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
2647 You dropped your needles. 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
2648 Nobody has stopped for you because you should only put out one thumb, like this. 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
2649 You can put them back on. It only worked on one side. 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
2650 I don't care what he said. Going bald is not the worse thing that can happen! 1.1414 0.04064 99 87 10 2
2651 Hey, Hon, have you seen my jar of hair remover cream anywhere? 1.1414 0.04310 99 88 8 3
2652 Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Just wanted to say hi after 150 years. 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
2653 You told me you tested negative! 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
2654 I’m just not into that minimalist look, 1.1414 0.04064 99 87 10 2
2655 Dude, never let your guard down. 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
2656 It's a thorny issue. Please don't ask. 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
2657 BALD ASS NO SPINE LOOKIN ASS 1.1413 0.03652 92 79 13 0
2658 Women love smooth dudes. 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
2659 Could be dehydration. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
2660 It was only a firecracker. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
2661 Oh, Great! Another politician in the family. 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
2662 I think the kid’s supposed to be giving us mustaches. 1.1413 0.03652 92 79 13 0
2663 Oh, no! Alopecia strikes again. 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
2664 Pining again? 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
2665 I’m proud of you for letting your guard down. 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
2666 Yep. Pointless. Maybe next time you'll listen. 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
2667 I…think I used too much? 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
2668 Ok, so the acupuncture isn’t gonna work for you. Reflexology is a non-starter since you lack feet. Let me run & get my essential oils… 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
2669 Carl, I told you to pack AT LEAST 35 SPF 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
2670 Put some pricks on. You’re practically naked. 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
2671 So does it really feel that much better without protection? 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
2672 It’s okay! You’re still a very attractive cactus without needles! 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
2673 You gotta stop doing this, Dave! 1.1405 0.03768 121 107 11 3
2674 I'm told there's a Wizard who can help you grow a spine. 1.1404 0.03497 114 99 14 1
2675 Which waxing spa do you recommend? 1.1402 0.03624 107 93 13 1
2676 I’m here for you when it gets itchy. 1.1402 0.03624 107 93 13 1
2677 Seriously, it's Biden or Trump again in '24. 1.1402 0.03372 107 92 15 0
2678 Have a razor I can borrow? 1.1402 0.03624 107 93 13 1
2679 You’re officially less of a prick than me 1.1402 0.04292 107 96 7 4
2680 Hey, can I have that skin softener that you are using? 1.1402 0.03624 107 93 13 1
2681 Grow a spine, Clarence. 1.1400 0.03487 100 86 14 0
2682 Don't be fooled by those 'shedding's in season' ads, trust me it burns like hell afterward. 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
2683 Don’t worry, you had a tough breakup. The bangs will grow back. 1.1400 0.04269 100 89 8 3
2684 I was talkin' about THIS rock beside me, not CHRIS Rock! 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
2685 I told you sunscreen wasn’t for us 1.1400 0.03487 100 86 14 0
2686 You were just supposed to shave your head! 1.1400 0.03487 100 86 14 0
2687 Of course Benedict Cucumberbatch is a cute nick name! 1.1400 0.04025 100 88 10 2
2688 Dude,The Rock isn’t running for President. 1.1400 0.03487 100 86 14 0
2689 I told you I am allergic to the sun. I get prickly all over. 1.1400 0.03487 100 86 14 0
2690 You know that Saguaro transition therapy isn’t covered by our insurance, right? 1.1400 0.04269 100 89 8 3
2691 You think I should shave? I suppose If everyone was jumping off a cliff you'd want me to do that too?" 1.1400 0.03487 100 86 14 0
2692 Next time you'll think twice before "CactusScaping"! 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
2693 I know you feel vulnerable,… 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
2694 Don’t freak out - it happened when I had chemo too. 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
2695 Maybe you look... a little... like Feyd-Rautha? 1.1398 0.03615 93 80 13 0
2696 I told you that shampoo causes hair loss 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
2697 but it’s what’s inside that counts 1.1398 0.04481 93 83 7 3
2698 Don't worry about surrendering. They can't pin anything on you. 1.1398 0.04481 93 83 7 3
2699 Let's talk politics. 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
2700 then again, it could be the heat . 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
2701 You realize bikini season doesn't apply to us, right? 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
2702 Just two words, Get Rogaine. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
2703 Maybe you could wear a toupee. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
2704 Didn’t get vaccinated because you were afraid of a little needle? 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
2705 I think the medical term is glochidia effluvium. 1.1395 0.05007 86 78 4 4
2706 The jig us up, sticky fingers. Drop your weapons. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
2707 With a gym, baldness can be attractive, don't worry. 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
2708 COVID cuts are sooooo 2020. 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
2709 Are you a transplant from the Midwest? That looks suspiciously like “Calopecia”. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
2710 Prickly Pete hears latest election news. 1.1389 0.03593 108 94 13 1
2711 See what happens when I stop needling you. 1.1389 0.04046 108 96 9 3
2712 Ok you feel naked now but no one is noticing. 1.1389 0.03826 108 95 11 2
2713 Don't worry, I have heard that Rogaine does wonders. 1.1389 0.03593 108 94 13 1
2714 You look good spineless. 1.1389 0.03593 108 94 13 1
2715 I knew the prick was illegal! 1.1389 0.03593 108 94 13 1
2716 C’mon Jim! At least use your own razor next time! 1.1389 0.03826 108 95 11 2
2717 have you seen the last few molecules of water i was saving up for lunch? 1.1389 0.03826 108 95 11 2
2718 You can't overcome your fear of intimacy if you're not willing to be vulnerable. 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
2719 She told me I was a real prick. 1.1386 0.03988 101 89 10 2
2720 That’s one less prick you have to deal with 1.1386 0.03988 101 89 10 2
2721 It’s cool, dude. You can totally pull it off. 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
2722 Rogaine, Ted, use Rogaine! 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
2723 I'll have what she's having 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
2724 Ginny, Ginny. You just had to go the home acupuncture route didn't you... 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
2725 What did you expect? You are a cucumber pretending to be a cactus. 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
2726 Don’t worry. I know a great acupuncturist who specializes in these things. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
2727 See? They can't develop here. Soil's still too hot. Even for subsidized housing. 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
2728 Oops, I think a ‘needle exchange’ may be in order. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
2729 I told you not to buy those prickly spines online. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
2730 I'm so sorry, Fred. I didn't mean to scare you. 1.1383 0.04436 94 84 7 3
2731 Why the heck are YOU being so prickly? 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
2732 At least you’re not a little prick anymore. 1.1383 0.04687 94 85 5 4
2733 Your butt crack is showing. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
2734 So he said, "Raise both hands in the air." Then what happened? 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
2735 Don't worry, it happens to a lot of men. 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
2736 Have you tried drinking water? 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
2737 Shure. We'd all love a good hug but...... 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
2738 Scared your pricklies off,did I? 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
2739 Dear, you should stop eating them cowboy beans! 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
2740 I’m sorry I called you spineless. Pull yourself together ! 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
2741 Do you think someone else will love you as much as me, now without your prickliness? 1.1379 0.04674 87 78 6 3
2742 I told him 1.1379 0.04674 87 78 6 3
2743 Have you considered using a sunlamp? 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
2744 You wanna buy some bootleg Propecia? 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
2745 Oops, told him 30 spf was just as effective as 70. 1.1379 0.04952 87 79 4 4
2746 Don’t worry. Puberty comes in its own time 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
2747 I only asked you to soften your tone. 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
2748 'Sir, I think you dropped something!' 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
2749 Gesundheit” John Schantz, Nazareth, P 1.1376 0.04011 109 97 9 3
2750 Repeat after me....'Who loves ya, baby?' 1.1376 0.03562 109 95 13 1
2751 Can you spare some SPF 50? 1.1376 0.03562 109 95 13 1
2752 Come back! I promise I won’t be so prickly. 1.1376 0.04011 109 97 9 3
2753 ‘I told you not to prick me off!’ 1.1376 0.03793 109 96 11 2
2754 I know, I miss our beach ball, too. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
2755 When shedding season comes early... and your best friend is there when it happens. 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
2756 It's your maternal grandfather's fault. 1.1373 0.03951 102 90 10 2
2757 Bald is a perfectly fine look. Really! 1.1373 0.03424 102 88 14 0
2758 It’s not a toupee. It’s a “spine replacement system”. 1.1373 0.04189 102 91 8 3
2759 That's why I shave... grows back thicker! 1.1373 0.04189 102 91 8 3
2760 Your dandruff is back. 1.1373 0.03697 102 89 12 1
2761 That’s weird. They usually just shrivel when they get cold. 1.1373 0.03424 102 88 14 0
2762 When I said, 'Don't be a prick,' you didn't have to take it literally. 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
2763 Aloe-pecia tends to run on the succulent side of the family. 1.1368 0.04391 95 85 7 3
2764 Hey, no problem--my cousin knows a really good transplant place in Tijuana 1.1368 0.03545 95 82 13 0
2765 I heard they do transplants in Turkey. 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
2766 It's not so bad, man. I heard they say a clean shave makes it look much bigger. 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
2767 Did something I say rub you the wrong way? 1.1368 0.03545 95 82 13 0
2768 One cactus is a smooth talker, while the other's just sticking out like a sore thumb... literally. 1.1368 0.04391 95 85 7 3
2769 My boyfriend telling me to shave 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
2770 Don’t feel bad, I’m honestly a real prick. 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
2771 It's ok! I'm sure that happens to a lot of cacti your age. 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
2772 I’m sorry I was such a prick! 1.1368 0.03545 95 82 13 0
2773 Listen, porn is not reality! 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
2774 Don't fret. We can always get you a thorn toupee. 1.1368 0.03821 117 104 10 3
2775 You really need to moisturize in these conditions. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
2776 Sorry no one told you that bristles are back in style. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
2777 How long did you say you were out here? 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
2778 You either had a bad therapy session today, or a really, really good one. 1.1364 0.03679 88 76 12 0
2779 Saying, "Stick 'em up" is sweet revenge for you singing "I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, and here is my spout." 1.1364 0.03760 110 97 11