Contest #887


Cartoon

887


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started -
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued -
Number of captions 4251
Number of responses 443647
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Four wishes if you listen to a timeshare presentation. 1.6406 0.01621 2368 1315 589 464
1 Your wish may be granted within three to five business days. 1.6012 0.02343 968 527 300 141
2 You wished for a better candidate, so here I am! 1.5993 0.04785 297 184 48 65
3 All our genies are busy right now, but please continue to rub that lamp, your wishes are very important to us. 1.5972 0.01872 1738 1020 398 320
4 Wish granted, kid, pending corporate approval. 1.5877 0.02056 1567 975 263 329
5 Yes, I'm the genie, but the last guy wished to swap outfits. 1.5842 0.02111 1484 927 247 310
6 Yeah, well, you don't look like Aladdin either 1.5762 0.02119 1312 782 304 226
7 Of course, certain terms and conditions apply. 1.5743 0.01978 1278 707 408 163
8 Chose quickly. I bill by the hour. 1.5734 0.02088 1254 724 341 189
9 Yeah well you're not exactly Aladdin either 1.5703 0.02144 1187 688 321 178
10 The IRS has ruled wishes granted are taxable as ordinary income. 1.5525 0.02337 943 548 269 126
11 No wishes, but I’ve been trying to reach you about your car warranty. 1.5490 0.02479 909 551 217 141
12 There are 3 rules: I cannot make someone love you, bring someone back from the dead, or pass meaningful legislation. 1.5478 0.02635 889 566 159 164
13 ''You're not what I expected either.'' 1.5361 0.02621 776 470 196 110
14 You can take your 3 wishes all at onc, but I recommend you spread them over 20 years for tax reasons. 1.5329 0.02554 745 436 221 88
15 I told you not to rub me the wrong way. 1.5308 0.02669 731 442 190 99
16 You get 1.8 wishes, after taxes. 1.5294 0.02576 714 416 218 80
17 I must advise you that your wish may have serious tax implications. 1.5282 0.02595 710 416 213 81
18 Still fired, Bob! 1.5254 0.02853 689 434 148 107
19 Hi! I’m a senator - I’ll promise you anything! 1.5233 0.02799 665 407 168 90
20 I will grant you three wishes but you need to watch a short timeshare presentation first. 1.5207 0.02927 651 412 139 100
21 Don’t blame me, you’re the one who wanted to know how you’ll look in 50 years. 1.5189 0.02888 636 395 152 89
22 Dear god, someone call my chiropractor. 1.5188 0.02785 638 385 175 78
23 I'm the genie's attorney. Before granting your wishes, we'll need to go over a few terms and conditions. 1.5162 0.02804 616 370 174 72
24 It’s actually two wishes, after my fee. 1.5148 0.02805 610 366 174 70
25 I grant you one wish, in triplicate. 1.5148 0.02991 610 386 134 90
26 I'll need your three wishes on my desk by Thursday, Jenkins. 1.5071 0.02980 560 345 146 69
27 I'm the Genie's lawyer. We're reviewing the three wish conditions. 1.5071 0.02896 562 339 161 62
28 You were thinking the three wishes were tax free? 1.5071 0.02977 566 350 145 71
29 Next time, enunciate. I heard "audit", not "Audi". 1.5046 0.03203 545 354 107 84
30 Three rules: I can’t raise the dead, I can’t make someone fall in love, and I can’t lower my hourly rate. 1.5028 0.02992 535 327 147 61
31 I can grant you three loopholes. 1.5010 0.03185 481 297 127 57
32 You obviously rubbed me the wrong way. 1.5000 0.03177 522 333 117 72
33 By rubbing this lamp you have agreed to these Terms of Service. 1.4980 0.03100 510 317 132 61
34 I shall grant you three billable hours. 1.4971 0.03054 509 313 139 57
35 To grant your wish, I'll need your completed W-9 form as well as two forms of government ID. 1.4970 0.03051 507 311 140 56
36 I’m from HR; that wish was totally inappropriate. 1.4970 0.03136 505 316 127 62
37 Whatever you wish for, I take a third. 1.4960 0.03283 500 324 104 72
38 I’m here to grant you three loopholes 1.4939 0.03136 494 308 128 58
39 Actually, it’s ‘Eugenie.’ 1.4938 0.03157 484 301 127 56
40 Are you sure you want to waste a wish on bitcoin? 1.4933 0.03207 448 274 127 47
41 Actually, it’s one wish in today’s market. 1.4928 0.03139 485 301 129 55
42 I’d like to talk to you about your car’s extended warranty. 1.4893 0.03375 468 305 97 66
43 Sorry, you’ve caught me without my trousers, I was just in a Zoom meeting. 1.4893 0.03334 468 302 103 63
44 Actually, due to inflation, your 3 wishes are now worth 1.5 1.4868 0.03166 456 281 128 47
45 I'm a Republican genie. You have to grant ME three wishes. 1.4843 0.03473 446 294 88 64
46 I have to tell you up front that death and taxes are off limits. 1.4843 0.03355 446 286 104 56
47 My client is suing you for unwanted rubbing. 1.4831 0.03248 443 277 118 48
48 Before you even ask, yes, all three are taxable. 1.4802 0.03374 429 274 104 51
49 Your wishes have been submitted for consideration. Please allow six to eight months for final approval or denial. 1.4789 0.03259 426 265 118 43
50 You said, "I dream of Cheney," right? 1.4758 0.03548 414 273 85 56
51 I’ll grant you three wishes, but they may be reversed on appeal. 1.4757 0.03339 412 259 110 43
52 Surprise! You're being audited 1.4748 0.03524 377 239 97 41
53 You're going to wish you hadn't done that. 1.4742 0.03368 407 257 107 43
54 I prefer Eugene, actually. 1.4742 0.03439 407 261 99 47
55 I'm sorry we no longer handle those types of wishes. Have you tried Alexa? 1.4742 0.03368 407 257 107 43
56 The name's Gene, actually. 1.4741 0.03214 405 247 124 34
57 Terms and conditions apply 1.4738 0.03138 401 240 132 29
58 I can grant you 3 wishes, but beware I am a politician. 1.4728 0.03257 404 249 119 36
59 You rub me the wrong way. You’ll wish you never did that. 1.4712 0.03472 399 257 96 46
60 Johnson! Sometimes you just rub me the wrong way! 1.4709 0.03534 395 257 90 48
61 "I'm a GOP genie, so whatever your wishes, I'm unlikely to grant them. 1.4691 0.03637 388 257 80 51
62 Beware! Your three wishes are taxable income. 1.4691 0.03271 388 238 118 32
63 Were you injured rubbing that lamp? If so, my firm will make your wishes come true! 1.4680 0.03333 391 244 111 36
64 No no, an Executive Genie grants wishes that will trickle down to you eventually 1.4677 0.03588 387 254 85 48
65 I grant you three justices! 1.4675 0.03488 385 247 96 42
66 Sorry, this isn't that kind of lamp. The best I can offer you is three reasons not to enter middle management. 1.4658 0.03421 380 240 103 37
67 Before we get started, do you know my password? 1.4654 0.03447 376 238 101 37
68 You, sir, have been served. 1.4620 0.03584 368 239 88 41
69 Your wish is my command. Terms and conditions apply. 1.4603 0.03584 365 237 88 40
70 Don’t look so surprised. I bought out Aladdin. 1.4598 0.03677 361 238 80 43
71 You've been served. 1.4592 0.03614 355 230 87 38
72 What? You weren't looking for 'I dream of Cheney?!' 1.4586 0.03731 362 242 74 46
73 If you, or a loved one, has been hurt in an accident that was not your fault, or had a workplace injury, then I’m your kind of Genie 1.4569 0.03598 348 224 89 35
74 After taxes,it turns out you owe us two wishes. 1.4563 0.03743 355 237 74 44
75 Seriously? You wished for an accountant? 1.4561 0.03805 342 228 72 42
76 I’m sorry, but you can’t wish for different options for President. 1.4538 0.03793 346 232 71 43
77 I want your wishes on my desk by Monday morning. 1.4521 0.03582 334 213 91 30
78 You’re finally going to win the caption contest. 1.4515 0.04523 268 187 41 40
79 I have it booked until two. 1.4505 0.04215 333 240 36 57
80 So you can't wish for more wishes, but if we set up a shell corporation you'll have more options. 1.4502 0.03655 331 214 85 32
81 I can grant you three appeals. 1.4502 0.03705 331 216 81 34
82 The look on your face says you didn’t read the fine print. 1.4492 0.03754 325 213 78 34
83 If I were you, my first wish would be to turn me into a genie. 1.4488 0.03647 332 215 85 32
84 I want your three wishes typed and on my desk by 9am on Wednesday 1.4479 0.03617 326 209 88 29
85 Unfortunately, you're required to report the cash value of all granted wishes as ordinary income. 1.4479 0.03669 326 211 84 31
86 Just one caveat - all three wishes must involve lower taxes for the wealthy. 1.4478 0.03953 335 231 58 46
87 You get three wishes. Offer void where prohibited. 1.4475 0.03633 324 208 87 29
88 Three wishes...if you can get Congress to pass them. 1.4469 0.03796 320 211 75 34
89 Your wish is my command—but it’s billable. 1.4455 0.03863 321 215 69 37
90 But, first, we have been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty. 1.4451 0.03778 319 210 76 33
91 AI? You wish. I’m HR 1.4444 0.03839 315 209 72 34
92 You can have three wishes... except for border control, a functioning Congress or two different candidates for President. 1.4437 0.04134 311 217 50 44
93 After contingencies, tax withholdings and filing fees, your remaining half a wish is my command 1.4424 0.03760 321 212 76 33
94 I have been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty... 1.4423 0.04022 312 214 58 40
95 I'm a Cheney in a bottle. 1.4419 0.03910 310 208 67 35
96 I'm here to grant you three "Get out of this meeting for free" cards 1.4412 0.03695 306 197 83 26
97 Actually, it’s just Gene. 1.4411 0.03863 297 195 73 29
98 Make a wish, and I'll have my secretary get right on it. 1.4408 0.03653 304 194 86 24
99 Before the genie appears, I'll need you to sign this waiver. 1.4408 0.03884 304 202 70 32
100 Nope. I got you your conservative judges, tax cuts, the worst POTUS ever! It's too late! You can't put me back in the bottle! 1.4408 0.04101 304 210 54 40
101 To be considered, your wish must be submitted through our online portal. 1.4408 0.04048 304 208 58 38
102 Your third wish is now known as “Wish+” and is only $2.99. Or $3.99 ad-free. 1.4393 0.03983 305 207 62 36
103 Even I can’t get you Taylor Swift tickets. 1.4389 0.04084 303 209 55 39
104 Your deductions are my command. 1.4389 0.03807 303 199 75 29
105 In exchange for releasing me from the lamp, I will grant you three billable hours. 1.4379 0.03891 306 205 68 33
106 You get two wishes and one tax deduction 1.4377 0.03618 297 188 88 21
107 If you are looking for Jeannie, she retired and wished for a butler. 1.4371 0.03668 302 194 84 24
108 No, I cann't make Congress agree about anything. 1.4369 0.03808 309 205 73 31
109 You can just forget about it. The Supreme Court Genie only grants wishes to corporations. 1.4362 0.04024 298 203 60 35
110 I hate people rubbing me the wrong way 1.4360 0.03968 289 193 66 30
111 You wish that corporations would pay their fair share of taxes?? Ha! I wish too. 1.4358 0.03840 296 195 73 28
112 I'm the one-big-wish genie. My last client was Travis Kelce. 1.4354 0.04204 294 206 48 40
113 I wasn't expecting a Cheney in a Bottle. 1.4349 0.04085 292 200 57 35
114 I can grant you three legal loopholes. 1.4349 0.03754 292 189 79 24
115 Finally! I've been trying to contact you about your student loans. 1.4340 0.04097 288 197 57 34
116 I can't kill anyone. I can't grant you more wishes. And I can't get your staff to come back in from telework. 1.4340 0.04126 288 198 55 35
117 Unfortunately, you now owe infinite tax on that infinite amount of money you wished for.. 1.4334 0.03867 293 194 71 28
118 You have exceeded the maximum number of authorized wishes. 1.4325 0.03874 289 191 71 27
119 You have three wishes. Terms and conditions apply. Grantee hereby releases, indemnifies and agrees to hold harmless this genie, its agents, and employees. Residents of CA may be entitled to additional wishes. Void where prohibited by law. 1.4311 0.03996 283 190 64 29
120 Listen carefully, as the menu options have changed. 1.4311 0.04058 283 192 60 31
121 Trump or Biden is the only choice? Put me back in there! 1.4306 0.04141 281 193 55 33
122 Sorry, I assumed you meant you wish you had a giant Dick Cheney. 1.4306 0.04408 281 202 37 42
123 A less complicated tax system? Be reasonable. 1.4306 0.04291 281 198 45 38
124 Gene didn’t appreciate being rubbed without consent. 1.4301 0.03773 279 180 78 21
125 Depending upon your state, some wishes may now be illegal. 1.4301 0.03964 286 192 65 29
126 My client's counteroffer is two wishes guaranteed and an optional third if freedom is granted. 1.4286 0.03863 280 184 72 24
127 Coming out was the easy part. 1.4286 0.03762 280 181 78 21
128 Let’s put a pin in that first wish and circle back to the other two next week. 1.4286 0.04025 280 189 62 29
129 I'll need a credit card on file for all subsequent wishes. 1.4281 0.03882 278 183 71 24
130 But understand that anything I grant you is taxable. 1.4280 0.04089 271 183 60 28
131 Oh you want Jeanie….I thought you said Cheney 1.4270 0.04249 274 191 49 34
132 I am the elections genie, vote for anyone you wish and I will grant you 4 years of guaranteed dissapointment. 1.4270 0.04023 274 184 63 27
133 Careful what you wish for, I wished to be a genius, not a genie! 1.4265 0.04176 272 187 54 31
134 you wish! 1.4244 0.04019 271 182 63 26
135 What did you expect from a tin lamp?! 1.4238 0.03971 269 179 66 24
136 If you rub my lamp one more time, I’m going to HR. 1.4238 0.04108 269 183 58 28
137 1. You can't have raise. 2.You can't have health insurance. 3.You can't have unlimited wishes. 1.4235 0.04167 281 196 51 34
138 The wishes are free, but the retainer is $10K. 1.4232 0.03956 267 177 67 23
139 These wishes are non-transferrable. We do not make any terms, guarantees, warranties, representations, or conditions regarding your wishes, except as provided for pursuant to this Agreement. 1.4226 0.03831 265 172 74 19
140 I’m sorry to report that wish-related income is in fact taxable 1.4223 0.04172 251 169 58 24
141 No wishes for more wishes, I can't make people fall in love, and no, you can't work from home. 1.4216 0.04015 268 180 63 25
142 Have you been cheated out of three wishes? If so, you may be entitled to compensation. 1.4215 0.04234 261 180 52 29
143 A four day work week? You wish. 1.4215 0.04337 261 183 46 32
144 Can I interest you in a Whole Life policy instead?!? 1.4205 0.03839 264 172 73 19
145 Before you make your wishes, have you considered the tax benefits of annuitizing them over a 30year period?" 1.4203 0.03964 276 186 64 26
146 Any wish except doing your taxes 1.4201 0.04003 269 181 63 25
147 On Zoom, they think I'm just Gene from accounting. 1.4198 0.04255 262 182 50 30
148 You owe a 30% tax on the second wish. 1.4180 0.03997 256 170 65 21
149 By accepting this User Agreement, be advised that the User acknowledges that they have read, understood, and agree to be bound by Genie's terms and conditions that hold him harmless from any claims, damages, or liabilities that may arise. 1.4173 0.03927 266 177 67 22
150 As a genie, I’d love to grant you a million dollars and a beautiful bride half your age; as a divorce attorney, I’d advise against it. 1.4167 0.04450 252 179 41 32
151 Better hope you read the fine print on that thing, son. 1.4167 0.03840 252 163 73 16
152 Thank you for getting me out of that bottle. Now, if you could do just two more things for me. 1.4167 0.04040 252 168 63 21
153 This is a reminder from the IRS. Your wishes must be itemized on Form 1323C and will be subject to taxes. 1.4160 0.04102 250 168 60 22
154 Tell me your email address and receive up to 20% off your next wish! 1.4157 0.03879 267 177 69 21
155 I grant you three non-billable hours. 1.4157 0.04513 255 184 36 35
156 After taxes, you're left with 2.14 wishes! 1.4143 0.04279 251 174 50 27
157 Sorry, it was a typo. I'm actually 'Gene in a bottle.' 1.4137 0.04151 249 169 57 23
158 Let's get this straight: Never, ever summon me during office hours! 1.4131 0.04109 259 177 57 25
159 Since inflation, I now am now granting Four wishes! 1.4130 0.04135 247 167 58 22
160 Ofcourse after taxes its more like 1 1/3 wishes. 1.4130 0.04367 247 173 46 28
161 The Accounting Genie in a Bottle - "I am here to grant you three reasonable wishes without penalty once you turn 59 and a half". 1.4122 0.03779 245 157 75 13
162 I tried the turban and earrings but I find the suit really helps cut down on frivolous wishes. 1.4115 0.03910 260 173 67 20
163 Sorry, but wishes are only available to Genie+ subscribers now. 1.4115 0.04458 243 172 42 29
164 Yes, I will grant you three wishes--as long as they involve fixed, deferred, or variable annuities. 1.4113 0.03960 248 164 66 18
165 Not genie! Gene! From accounting. 1.4113 0.04200 248 170 54 24
166 I’ll give you three write-offs 1.4113 0.04082 248 167 60 21
167 Rubbing the lamp without consent is an HR violation. 1.4109 0.04155 258 178 54 26
168 No, it's three wishes gross. With tax, your take-home is two. 1.4108 0.04123 241 162 59 20
169 I'll have to run that one past our wish compliance team. You should hear back in four to six weeks. 1.4108 0.04328 241 167 49 25
170 Oh, fuck! 1.4106 0.04416 246 174 43 29
171 As the Genie's lawyer, I caution you against any further unauthorized rubbing. 1.4106 0.04184 246 168 55 23
172 I will grant you three itemized deductions, and three only. 1.4104 0.03926 251 166 67 18
173 Wish for wine, women, and song. The rest is a waste. 1.4104 0.04046 251 169 61 21
174 I will grant you three itemized deductions. 1.4100 0.04231 239 163 54 22
175 Your wish for a viable 3rd party candidate has been answered. 1.4098 0.04209 244 167 54 23
176 Due to excessive call volumes your wait is approximately 47 minutes. 1.4083 0.04217 240 164 54 22
177 The Genie would like you to sign a few forms before we begin. 1.4078 0.04038 255 173 60 22
178 If you had rubbed the lamp earlier we wouldn’t need to file an extension 1.4076 0.04324 238 165 49 24
179 Sorry, death and taxes are off the table. 1.4074 0.04377 243 171 45 27
180 OK, now you have the riches and an accountant. Your third wish better be for a divorce attorney. 1.4074 0.04054 243 163 61 19
181 Hold that thought… we’ve been trying to reach you regarding your car’s extended warranty. 1.4060 0.04377 234 163 47 24
182 You always seem to rub me the wrong way! 1.4060 0.04249 234 160 53 21
183 You're rubbing me the wrong way. 1.4060 0.04249 234 160 53 21
184 Al Addin? You’ve been served. 1.4052 0.04446 232 163 44 25
185 Due to recent budget cuts, I can only grant you one wish 1.4052 0.04230 232 158 54 20
186 Be careful what you wish for - I charge by the hour. 1.4052 0.04141 232 156 58 18
187 I'm a politician genie. You get unlimited wishes, but I grant none of them. 1.4052 0.04403 232 162 46 24
188 You think if I could predict the market I'd live in a bottle? 1.4051 0.04417 237 167 44 26
189 No on the billion dollars and date with Beyonce. But I can offer you an unpaid internship." 1.4042 0.04295 240 167 49 24
190 But first I’ll need you to open an account at Geniewishes.com. 1.4042 0.04295 240 167 49 24
191 Not granted until you accept that you've read and agree to the terms. 1.4034 0.04127 233 157 58 18
192 You’ve always rubbed me the wrong way! 1.4017 0.04399 229 160 46 23
193 Wish you had voted in 2016? 1.4017 0.04485 229 162 42 25
194 I’ll grant you three excuses. 1.4017 0.04355 229 159 48 22
195 I’m here to tell you about your car’s extended warranty 1.4017 0.04577 234 169 36 29
196 You get three wishes, none can be for the end of Capitalism. 1.4009 0.04382 227 158 47 22
197 Remember that past performance may not be indicative of future results. Different types of wishes involve varying degrees of risk which may or may not… 1.4009 0.04382 227 158 47 22
198 No signed waiver of liability, no wishes. Do you think this all happens magically? 1.4009 0.04226 232 159 53 20
199 I wish the election was over too. 1.4000 0.04454 225 158 44 23
200 I’ll give you three stock tips. 1.4000 0.04022 230 153 62 15
201 Yeah, everyone wishes it’d been Jeanie! 1.4000 0.04499 225 159 42 24
202 Deducting business dinners without valid receipts are beyond my powers. 1.4000 0.04069 230 154 60 16
203 Before the genie appears, he demands absolute immunity for any consequences caused by the granting of said wishes. 1.3991 0.04155 223 150 57 16
204 I am the tax genie of the lamp. With my powers I shall grant you three deductions. 1.3991 0.04057 223 148 61 14
205 Aladdin sold out to private equity. 1.3983 0.04258 236 164 50 22
206 Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm just a Gene in a bottle. 1.3983 0.04281 231 160 50 21
207 It’s short for Eugene. 1.3982 0.04526 226 161 40 25
208 …wish denied…No I cannot find another candidate for November 1.3982 0.04654 226 164 34 28
209 I grant you three tax loopholes. 1.3973 0.04352 219 151 49 19
210 I can grant them all, except "No email." 1.3967 0.03970 242 163 62 17
211 It's Gene, just Gene! 1.3966 0.04132 232 158 56 18
212 Three wishes after taxes make 1.2 wishes. 1.3966 0.04352 232 163 46 23
213 I could grant that wish, but it will put you in a new tax bracket. 1.3964 0.04310 222 153 50 19
214 I’m going to grant you 3 deductions. 1.3963 0.04331 217 149 50 18
215 You rubbed? 1.3963 0.04281 217 148 52 17
216 Three wishes, Johnson, and I want them on my desk by noon! 1.3957 0.04202 230 158 53 19
217 Jim, we've been trying to reach you concerning your vehicle's extended warranty. 1.3953 0.04648 215 154 37 24
218 Do not let him win in 2024. 1.3953 0.04505 215 151 43 21
219 Yeah, well, I dreamed of Jeannie, myself. 1.3953 0.04553 215 152 41 22
220 Here is my handle, here is my spout. 1.3953 0.04694 215 155 35 25
221 You get three empty promises 1.3946 0.04294 223 154 50 19
222 I’m Gene. Not Genie 1.3945 0.04114 218 146 58 14
223 Always been true, still true: Be careful what you wish for. 1.3935 0.04292 216 148 51 17
224 People like you rub me the wrong way. 1.3935 0.04536 216 153 41 22
225 Sadly, even I don't have the power to fix the IRS. 1.3935 0.04086 216 144 59 13
226 I grant you three tax deductions. 1.3935 0.04391 216 150 47 19
227 I only grant appeals these days. 1.3935 0.04242 216 147 53 16
228 Ah, common mistake... Jeanie is down the hall in accounting. 1.3935 0.04583 216 154 39 23
229 Yes, I can grant unlimited wishes, but you won’t like my fees. 1.3925 0.04469 214 150 44 20
230 And all three are tax-deductible. 1.3925 0.04164 214 144 56 14
231 Wishes are free to download, followed by a monthly premium. 1.3915 0.04398 212 147 47 18
232 I grant you three highly defendable deductions. 1.3915 0.04398 212 147 47 18
233 Hi, I am your TaxGPT! 1.3911 0.04121 225 153 56 16
234 Did you seriously just waste a wish on turning me into Karl Rove? 1.3909 0.04473 220 156 42 22
235 We've been trying to reach you about your car warranty..." 1.3905 0.04477 210 147 44 19
236 Trump will go to prison without your wish. 1.3905 0.04627 210 150 38 22
237 Just know, the IRS will take one of those wishes. 1.3905 0.04426 210 146 46 18
238 Of course, the genie will grant you three wishes. First comes the Non-Disclosure Agreement. 1.3894 0.04558 208 147 41 20
239 I'm Mr. Genie from Washington. You will grant me three wishes! 1.3889 0.04483 216 153 42 21
240 I will grant you three wishes. Applicable local and federal taxes apply. Offer not available in Maine and New Jersey. 1.3883 0.04431 206 143 46 17
241 As your lawyer, I’d recommend you wish for a better lawyer 1.3883 0.04485 206 144 44 18
242 The IRS warned you last year. You need an accountant not a genie. 1.3883 0.04485 206 144 44 18
243 I swear, if you ask for a bull market again, you'll find yourself in Pamplona! 1.3883 0.04589 206 146 40 20
244 No, I don't predict the future. I'm an economist. 1.3883 0.04431 206 143 46 17
245 You get three wishes except better wages, work-life balance, and health insurance. 1.3883 0.04431 206 143 46 17
246 Three wishes, no pardons 1.3881 0.04283 201 136 52 13
247 Actually it’s Gene F., Gene E. had a conflict. 1.3879 0.04313 214 148 49 17
248 Yes, but first you must sign three waivers. 1.3876 0.04438 209 146 45 18
249 You get three wishes but I’m obligated to inform you that past performance does not guarantee future success. 1.3873 0.04406 204 141 47 16
250 Okay; one wish, as long as it doesn't exceed the Fed's guidelines. 1.3873 0.04461 204 142 45 17
251 Autocorrect or not, you ordered a Gene Lamp. 1.3873 0.04461 204 142 45 17
252 Are you sure you want to waste all three wishes on bitcoin?? 1.3871 0.04466 217 154 42 21
253 You’re entitled to 3 frivolous lawsuits 1.3868 0.04735 212 155 32 25
254 Your wish to get around the windfall profits tax just got you an audit. 1.3865 0.04467 207 145 44 18
255 I’m here to read you the fine print before he arrives. 1.3865 0.04571 207 147 40 20
256 It’s your lucky day. I can grant you three loopholes. 1.3861 0.04266 202 137 52 13
257 By opening your Genie, you hereby agree to the terms and conditions of the enclosed End User License Agreement... 1.3861 0.04705 202 145 36 21
258 I’ll grant you 3 tax shelters… 1.3854 0.04107 205 137 57 11
259 I would strongly suggest your first wish be for tax amnesty. 1.3854 0.04389 205 142 47 16
260 I will now grant you three deductions. 1.3850 0.04168 213 145 54 14
261 I'm the genie's lawyer. He wants immunity first. 1.3846 0.04552 208 148 40 20
262 You don't get any wishes but thank God I'm outta there. 1.3846 0.04269 234 166 46 22
263 Honestly, you're not what I expected either, but here we are. 1.3846 0.04603 208 149 38 21
264 I can grant you three wishes—as long as they don’t involve salary, medical benefits, or sick days. 1.3842 0.04580 203 144 40 19
265 Anything but Trump! 1.3842 0.04789 203 148 32 23
266 I'm his lawyer, we need to talk about that first wish. 1.3842 0.04418 203 141 46 16
267 As a reminder, your 3 wishes are reportable income 1.3842 0.04362 203 140 48 15
268 You need to download the Genie App and provide your credit card number before getting any wishes. 1.3839 0.04701 211 154 33 24
269 The wish for ‘unlimited wishes’ is currently awaiting a Supreme Court decision. 1.3836 0.04288 219 153 48 18
270 How many times does HR have to tell you to stop rubbing people the wrong way? 1.3828 0.04534 209 149 40 20
271 Before he comes out, he’ll need the room temperature to be 72 degrees; a dozen one-liter bottles of Fiji Water; six cans of Red Bull; a platter of hummus, tabouleh, and baba ghanoush; an assortment of chewing gum; and that ceiling fan removed. 1.3824 0.04967 204 153 24 27
272 You are granted three wishes to be deferred until retirement. 1.3824 0.04400 204 142 46 16
273 That cannot be granted. The system and I will see he never goes to jail. 1.3821 0.04536 212 152 39 21
274 Finally! I've been trapped for a thousand fiscal years! 1.3819 0.04420 199 138 46 15
275 Three wishes! . . . provided that aforementioned three (3) wishes are executed in a manner consistent with the statutes of Kings County and in accordance with all applicable laws of the State of New York." 1.3819 0.04644 199 142 38 19
276 Yes, but you don't look like Aladdin, either. 1.3812 0.04539 202 143 41 18
277 Yeah, yeah...you've got three wishes. Just don't ask me to do anything for you before April 15th! 1.3807 0.04450 197 137 45 15
278 Sorry I'm busy granting other clients' wishes right now, but did you know you can get 24 hour a day help from my website? 1.3807 0.04391 197 136 47 14
279 Yeah, I'm pretty sure you called the wrong lamp. 1.3807 0.04621 197 140 39 18
280 Your wish is my empty campaign promise. 1.3805 0.04849 205 152 28 25
281 Rub me one more time and I'll take this to H.R. 1.3800 0.04625 200 143 38 19
282 You have been granted 3 wishes" * *Any wish you send to this Lamp before an genie-client relationship is acknowledged by the Lamp will not be considered confidential or protected by the genie-client relationship. 1.3800 0.04402 200 139 46 15
283 All wishes must be approved by upper management, first. 1.3800 0.04167 200 135 54 11
284 You can have three wishes of your choice OR you can choose who you want to be the next President 1.3800 0.04344 200 138 48 14
285 I shall grant you 3 exemptions. 1.3795 0.04360 195 134 48 13
286 She says you can keep the house and Fluffy in exchange for one of your wishes. 1.3795 0.04538 195 137 42 16
287 Please be advised that we now have to report all wishes received to the IRS. 1.3795 0.04766 195 141 34 20
288 Three free law suits are yours to command (or, if you are Donald Trump, three free criminal defenses)! 1.3795 0.04538 195 137 42 16
289 Dad? 1.3788 0.04431 198 138 45 15
290 Yeah, we no longer do the wealth, health, longevity thing. How 'bout an endless supply of false hope? 1.3788 0.04545 198 140 41 17
291 I'll grant you three wishes! (requires purchase of additional wishes, wishes are non-transferable and may not be aggregated with previous wishes and/or magic lamps, cost of third wish must be equal to or less than value of initial two wishes.) 1.3786 0.04926 206 155 24 27
292 I’m Gene… I grant you three pieces of unsolicited financial advice. 1.3782 0.04450 193 134 45 14
293 That's 3 wishes, minus early withdrawal penalty. 1.3781 0.04091 201 135 56 10
294 No, I give you three tasks. Wishes sap initiative. 1.3776 0.04634 196 140 38 18
295 Think carefully--your wishes are taxable. 1.3776 0.04634 196 140 38 18
296 Before asking the genie to grant your wish, you must first agree to the Terms of Service. 1.3776 0.04577 196 139 40 17
297 That's right: you only get 0.5% of one wish; the rest goes to management 1.3776 0.04402 196 136 46 14
298 Been in here since 2016. A big, orange creature breathing a fire of lies was nominated. I laughed, and didn't even bother to vote since it was so obvious he didn't have a leg to stand on. It's Karma, I tell you. 1.3770 0.04542 191 134 42 15
299 It’s2024. You want a fez and culottes? 1.3770 0.04542 191 134 42 15
300 Due to inflation, you only get two wishes 1.3770 0.04602 191 135 40 16
301 If you file jointly,that’s two wishes. 1.3770 0.04542 191 134 42 15
302 I know I said three wishes but you should always check the fine print 1.3770 0.04602 191 135 40 16
303 Before continuing, you must agree to the iGenie terms and conditions. 1.3770 0.04662 191 136 38 17
304 I will grant you three wishes. Minus my commission of course, and administrative fees, lamp cleaning fee, and miscellaneous sundry charges. So, you owe me 4 wishes and $127.23 1.3768 0.04558 207 149 38 20
305 You have reached the IRS tax genie, please hold. 1.3763 0.04609 194 138 39 17
306 Congratulations on finding my lamp! You may now have 3 wishes. * Terms and conditions may apply ** Wishes subject to interpretation of genie *** Wishes may be creatively twisted to suit genie's fancy **** No refunds or takie backsies 1.3762 0.04693 202 147 34 21
307 Seriously? Your first wish is for a better genie? 1.3757 0.04695 189 135 37 17
308 Yes, it used to get three wishes but now with inflation I'll do you one small favor. 1.3757 0.04512 189 132 43 14
309 Using a wish may cause serious side effects including nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and severe regret. 1.3750 0.04400 192 133 46 13
310 I'm the Cheney of the Lamp. The genie had a hunting accident. 1.3750 0.04871 192 141 30 21
311 I'm the MAGA Genie. You just rubbed me the wrong way. 1.3750 0.04522 192 135 42 15
312 Actually my name is Eugene but I guess you can call me that. 1.3744 0.04349 203 142 46 15
313 You remember when you clicked on that email that looked suspicious? 1.3743 0.04543 187 131 42 14
314 I'm begging you to wish for people to stop starting sentences with "So" and ending them with "right?" 1.3743 0.04908 187 137 30 20
315 After tax,you only have one and a half wishes. 1.3730 0.04445 185 128 45 12
316 I'm granting your ex's first wish -Here's a restraining order. 1.3730 0.04511 185 129 43 13
317 Your wish is my corporate mandate. 1.3730 0.04576 185 130 41 14
318 You think you're disappointed?! Try being a middle aged I.T. specialist living in a lamp named Gene 1.3730 0.04826 185 134 33 18
319 Wish that I’m your financial advisor and I’ll make the next two really worth your while. 1.3719 0.04406 199 140 44 15
320 I left my pants in there." 1.3716 0.04543 183 128 42 13
321 Yeah, well, I'm keeping that billion dollars you wished for - and good luck taking me to court! 1.3716 0.04476 183 127 44 12
322 First I must remind you: past results do not guarantee future performance 1.3716 0.04199 183 123 52 8
323 Furthermore, all wishes, including the making and granting thereof, shall be subject to the terms and conditions agreed to hereby, with no warranties or guarantees of any kind other than those explicitly set forth as provided hereinbelow... 1.3711 0.04543 194 138 40 16
324 Hey kid, you rubbed it the wrong way! I'm Gene, from Accounting! 1.3710 0.04491 186 130 43 13
325 You need to sign a liability waiver before the granting of any wish. 1.3710 0.04491 186 130 43 13
326 I'm sorry, your ex got your three wishes in the divorce settlement. 1.3710 0.04681 186 133 37 16
327 I will grant you three non-working holidays. 1.3710 0.04491 186 130 43 13
328 Congratulations! You are granted three exemptions! 1.3710 0.04360 186 128 47 11
329 As reward for releasing me from my magic lamp prison you are granted three successful legal appeals irrespective of precedent, legal theory, or any reasonable understanding of what defines justice. 1.3710 0.04555 186 131 41 14
330 I am the Cheney of the lamp! 1.3702 0.04707 181 129 37 15
331 Any financial gains will be reported to the IRS. 1.3702 0.04439 181 125 45 11
332 You'll get three wishes if you attend my investment seminar. 1.3702 0.04642 181 128 39 14
333 Don't expect much. You rubbed me the wrong way. 1.3702 0.04707 181 129 37 15
334 It was decided your wish for unlimited riches required the services of a tax accountant. 1.3698 0.04266 192 132 49 11
335 Okay, but my three wishes first: 1) hair; 2) legs; and 3) pants. 1.3696 0.04901 184 135 30 19
336 And which 3 politicians would you like to be indicted?” 1.3696 0.05020 184 137 26 21
337 I warned you not to rub me the wrong way! 1.3695 0.04285 203 142 47 14
338 I will grant you three tax exemptions 1.3692 0.04465 195 138 42 15
339 I'm Donald Trump's avatar, so go big with those three wishes. I'll never fulfill them anyway. 1.3690 0.04782 187 136 33 18
340 The last thing I remember was auditing this big blue genie. 1.3690 0.04471 187 131 43 13
341 We’ve been trying to reach you about your extended warranty 1.3687 0.05124 179 134 24 21
342 The three wishes are yours, but first, the paperwork. 1.3687 0.04399 179 123 46 10
343 You wished you didn't have to read the terms and conditions, so I'm here to read them to you. 1.3687 0.04643 198 144 35 19
344 I will grant you three exemptions. 1.3681 0.04686 182 130 37 15
345 You could use TurboTax and save yourself a wish. 1.3681 0.04686 182 130 37 15
346 Sorry, Barbara Eden is out of town. I’m her agent. What is your wish.” 1.3676 0.04437 185 129 44 12
347 No wishes for you. You rubbed me the wrong way. 1.3667 0.04977 180 133 28 19
348 We’ve been trying to get in touch with you about your car’s extended warranty. 1.3667 0.04914 180 132 30 18
349 Maximum 3 wishes. Void upon wishing for more wishes. Must be 18 years or older and within the contiguous United States. Terms & conditions apply. 1.3665 0.04465 191 135 42 14
350 Your wish to halt inflation is granted, but unfortunately three wishes had been reduced to one because of inflation. So, you're out of wishes. 1.3656 0.04284 186 128 48 10
351 I will grant you three lawsuits. 1.3652 0.04822 178 129 33 16
352 Even though I have to grant your wishes, Jenkins, you’re still fired. 1.3652 0.04756 178 128 35 15
353 A raise? The best I can do is a pizza party 1.3652 0.04337 178 122 47 9
354 Before my client the Genie appears, I have a few legal waivers for you to sign. 1.3646 0.04499 181 127 42 12
355 I regret to inform you that Mr Genie was terminated for rubbing his own lamp in the workplace. 1.3641 0.05013 184 138 25 21
356 You’re going to wish you never rubbed that lamp. 1.3636 0.04724 176 126 36 14
357 I can only grant wishes that apply to this fiscal year. 1.3636 0.04513 176 123 42 11
358 I'm pleased to announce that our investment capital group has purchased the genie franchise and is now offering subscriptions through our web site at a low introductory price. 1.3636 0.04724 176 126 36 14
359 And of course the three wishes are subject to the following terms and conditions.... 1.3631 0.04667 179 128 37 14
360 "Get married, have a kid and stop bothering me." 1.3631 0.04734 179 129 35 15
361 Due to budget cuts, we will only be granting two of your wishes. 1.3628 0.04351 226 166 38 22
362 'My client may grant you 3 wishes - pending appeal.' 1.3622 0.04494 185 131 41 13
363 I shall grant you three tax deductions. 1.3621 0.04618 174 123 39 12
364 Now that I’ve granted your wishes, please hold the lamp for a brief customer satisfaction survey. 1.3616 0.04702 177 127 36 14
365 If you think you’re having a bad day, wait till you make your wish. 1.3616 0.04702 177 127 36 14
366 Wish high. Sell low. 1.3611 0.04298 180 124 47 9
367 Who were you looking for, Barbara Eden? 1.3605 0.04796 172 124 34 14
368 Sorry, I don’t understand Bitcoin either. 1.3605 0.04725 172 123 36 13
369 ‘“Now, to actually receive your wishes, you must consent to our Privacy Policy which allows us to sell your personal data to third-parties…. 1.3602 0.04664 186 135 35 16
370 You better not wish for a raise. 1.3600 0.04524 175 123 41 11
371 We were forced to make necessary cutbacks that reduced your three wishes to our promise to do better in the future. 1.3600 0.04451 175 122 43 10
372 First, you must fill out an NDA, a gift tax form and a liability waiver. 1.3600 0.04737 175 126 35 14
373 He said I rubbed him the wrong way, and I said, "Walk a mile in my shoes, and he said, "As you wish." 1.3588 0.04612 170 120 39 11
374 I'm Bureaucrat Genie. I'll have a response to your wishes in six to eight weeks. 1.3588 0.04761 170 122 35 13
375 Wishes now have terms and conditions. 1.3588 0.04380 170 117 45 8
376 You are granted three wishes but I’m required to tell you that actual results may vary. 1.3588 0.04761 170 122 35 13
377 You have been granted two wishes. The third one is my contingency fee. 1.3588 0.04761 170 122 35 13
378 Your wishes are now in committee. 1.3588 0.04612 170 120 39 11
379 ... and thirdly, no Taylor Swift tickets 1.3588 0.04687 170 121 37 12
380 Our menu options have changed please listen carefully before you rub again. 1.3588 0.04761 170 122 35 13
381 Yes, I know. Don't say it. I've been cooped up in that bottle so long my clothes are out of style. 1.3584 0.04630 173 123 38 12
382 You rub me the wrong way, Jones. 1.3584 0.04773 173 125 34 14
383 You rang? I'm the CEO of the Make a Wish Foundation! 1.3584 0.04407 173 120 44 9
384 …furthermore, the grantee of said wishes shall be fully liable for the inevitable ironic consequences. 1.3580 0.04850 176 129 31 16
385 Instead of World Peace? 1.3580 0.04503 176 124 41 11
386 We are experiencing higher than normal wish volumes. Your wishes will be granted by the next available genie 1.3580 0.04645 176 126 37 13
387 Okay, so I'll grant you two wishes and one hope, and that's my best offer. 1.3575 0.04451 179 126 42 11
388 I'll need those wishes in triplicate by end of day 1.3571 0.04161 168 113 50 5
389 Unfortunately, we don't accept your insurance, so "Genie of the Lamp, LLC" is unable to grant you any wishes. Thank you for rubbing "Genie of the Lamp, LLC." 1.3571 0.04944 168 123 30 15
390 We’ve updated our terms and conditions… 1.3571 0.04329 168 115 46 7
391 Submit your wish in triplicate! 1.3567 0.04514 171 120 41 10
392 ...but no wishing for a raise or extra time off 1.3567 0.04737 171 123 35 13
393 No, I make the wish. It trickles down to you. 1.3567 0.04880 171 125 31 15
394 On behalf of the Disney legal team, I’m just here to remind you that your genie can be neither wisecracking nor blue. 1.3567 0.04664 171 122 37 12
395 Three wishes? In this economy? 1.3567 0.04664 171 122 37 12
396 Any more wishes and I claim you as a dependent. 1.3567 0.04737 171 123 35 13
397 As the McConnell of the lamp, I only grant wishes to billionaires. 1.3567 0.04590 171 121 39 11
398 No, it's Gene. I prefer Eugene. 1.3554 0.04759 166 119 35 12
399 I’ll grant you this… you should increase your 401k contribution. 1.3554 0.04274 166 113 47 6
400 Well, it's closer to 2.3 wishes after taxes 1.3554 0.04682 166 118 37 11
401 We no longer outsource Genie contracts to the middle east. You want to get your wish or quibble about a costume? 1.3554 0.05199 166 125 23 18
402 Sorry, even a genie can't get him to go away. 1.3554 0.05056 166 123 27 16
403 Mind you, those "three rules" don't apply offshore. 1.3554 0.04603 166 117 39 10
404 I will grant you three wishes, but first you must sign a waiver. 1.3550 0.04624 169 120 38 11
405 I said I wanted a genie in a bottle, not a Cheney in a bottle! 1.3543 0.04931 175 130 28 17
406 I'll grant you any three wishes, except paid sick leave. 1.3542 0.04974 144 102 33 9
407 Only two wishes... we have a budget shortfall. 1.3539 0.04532 178 127 39 12
408 You’re granted 3 deductions. 1.3537 0.04473 164 114 42 8
409 Before continuing, you need to acknowledge that you have read and agree to all terms set forth in the disclosure documents. 1.3537 0.04796 164 118 34 12
410 'Now it's my turn to explain the tax consequences of each of your three wishes.' 1.3533 0.04958 167 123 29 15
411 Be careful what you wish for. 1.3529 0.04368 170 118 44 8
412 I’m actually your wife’s genie. First, I granted her eternal life and beauty. Her second wish was for $2 billion dollars. Her third and final wish is that I come to tell you that she’s moving to Paris with Fred. Have a good day. 1.3526 0.04902 173 128 29 16
413 Under new law, all wishes granted must be declared on your next federal tax return. 1.3523 0.04635 176 127 36 13
414 I Dream of Cheney! 1.3519 0.04754 162 116 35 11
415 At last, you wish Dick Cheney was back. 1.3519 0.04332 162 111 45 6
416 The pilot episode of the comedy series: I Dream of Cheney 1.3519 0.05141 162 121 25 16
417 I can't bring people back to life, I can't make people fall in love, and most importantly, I can't prevent an audit. 1.3519 0.05360 162 124 19 19
418 It’s that time every four years when the RNC rubs the lantern and out pops Karl Rove 1.3519 0.05066 162 120 27 15
419 Phill, you rubbed me the wrong way. 1.3515 0.05072 165 123 26 16
420 Yes, I will make you richer beyond your dreams but I urge you to consider the tax consequences. 1.3515 0.04533 165 116 40 9
421 I didn't get my first wish either 1.3515 0.04533 165 116 40 9
422 Trump won? Back in the bottle please. 1.3514 0.05061 148 107 30 11
423 I knew Aladdin, and you're no Aladdin! 1.3512 0.04635 168 120 37 11
424 The only wishes beyond my power are fixing baldness, correcting eyesight, and granting a New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest win. 1.3512 0.05349 168 130 17 21
425 Your three wishes must be used by the end of the year and will not roll over 1.3509 0.04653 171 123 36 12
426 Yes, everybody tells me I look like Dick Cheney. 1.3506 0.05143 174 133 21 20
427 You don't get three wishes. You get three shares of Berkshire Hathaway class A stock. 1.3506 0.04739 174 127 33 14
428 And remember: If any of your wishes totaled more than $17,000 you probably must file Form 709 1.3503 0.04750 177 130 32 15
429 You have three wishes, but bipartisan agreement cannot be one of them. 1.3500 0.04624 160 113 38 9
430 Quit rubbing that lamp and get back to work! 1.3500 0.04873 160 116 32 12
431 I'm programmed for 1 trip to the bahamas or 3 stock tips. 1.3500 0.04624 160 113 38 9
432 I’m sorry Dave. I can’t do that. 1.3500 0.04953 160 117 30 13
433 Before we start, you must agree that you are responsible for reporting and paying any and all applicable taxes related to the value of any granted wish. 1.3500 0.04130 180 124 49 7
434 Wishes? No. But I’ll answer three tax return questions. 1.3494 0.04824 166 121 32 13
435 I'm just the Tax Genie, I can only grant you three deductions... 1.3494 0.04899 166 122 30 14
436 As Genie’s counsel, I hereby inform you that any attempt to wish for additional wishes shall be null and void and all remaining wishes shall be forfeited as a result. 1.3481 0.04572 158 111 39 8
437 Who were you expecting, Barbara Eden? 1.3481 0.04994 158 116 29 13
438 Just give me 5-7 business days and I will get back to you with your Wish Proposal Form. 1.3481 0.04745 158 113 35 10
439 I'm sorry Taylor Swift is spoken for 1.3481 0.05074 158 117 27 14
440 I have a one wish retainer 1.3481 0.04745 158 113 35 10
441 Per MAGA magic, I’m no longer granting wishes. Would you like a loan? 1.3478 0.04766 161 116 34 11
442 I can't kill anyone, can't make people fall in love and can't make the housing market affordable for your generation. 1.3478 0.04766 161 116 34 11
443 I’m the genie’s legal counsel. He insists that there won’t be any wishes granted that involve fantasy. Ironic, isn’t it? 1.3476 0.04784 164 119 33 12
444 Please be advised that my client, from hereon referred to as "The Genie", will not be liable for damages that result from any misguided wishes you make. And that is not a condition that can be wished away. 1.3476 0.04705 164 118 35 11
445 Common misconception. It's really Gene in a bottle. 1.3476 0.04862 164 120 31 13
446 You should know the “wishes” per se have certain addendums, prohibitions, and constraints. It was all on the bottom of the contract. Heretofore referred to as “the lamp”. 1.3473 0.04874 167 123 30 14
447 Let me first advise you on the tax implications of your three wishes. 1.3471 0.04884 170 126 29 15
448 You have three wishes, but the first two don’t count and the third will vest over five years. 1.3468 0.04681 173 126 34 13
449 I know what you are thinking. Those were the old days. 1.3462 0.04423 156 108 42 6
450 You gota rub me the right way, 1.3462 0.05197 156 117 24 15
451 No,no and no! Now get back to work! 1.3462 0.05035 156 115 28 13
452 you must first sign the small print before i grant any wish. 1.3462 0.04783 156 112 34 10
453 None of your wishes can be related to billable hours, nondisclosure agreements, or requests for non-attorney genies, djinns, or wish foundations of any kind. 1.3459 0.04967 159 117 29 13
454 I recommend consulting with your tax advisor before accepting wishes from our firm. 1.3459 0.04720 159 114 35 10
455 Sorry, I can't kill anybody. How about I give him a $350 million tax bill? 1.3457 0.05204 162 123 22 17
456 If I could change looks, do you think I would have this hairline? 1.3452 0.05339 168 131 16 21
457 I grant you 2 Wishes and 1 Non-Disclosure Agreement. 1.3452 0.04700 168 122 34 12
458 Sure, I can give you the terms and conditions. But we both know that you’ll accept without reading them. 1.3442 0.04908 154 112 31 11
459 Can I wish to put you back? 1.3442 0.04732 154 110 35 9
460 No, I'm his lawyer. He was arrested for granting the last wish. 1.3442 0.05161 154 115 25 14
461 Who said anything about wishes? I'm here to audit your tax returns! 1.3439 0.05169 157 118 24 15
462 I object to and move to strike wishes #1 and #3. 1.3438 0.04696 160 115 35 10
463 I grant you three stock tips. 1.3436 0.04636 163 117 36 10
464 Before I grant anything, I'll need you to sign a waiver." 1.3434 0.04417 166 117 41 8
465 I'm reporting you to HR for rubbing me like that 1.3434 0.04498 166 118 39 9
466 World peace is not included but you can wish that warring groups will buy weapons from your company. 1.3432 0.04751 169 124 32 13
467 For three dollars more, I'll appear commercial-free. 1.3421 0.05036 152 112 28 12
468 OK on the money; OK on the girlfriend. But the third and last wish for an enlightened philosopher president is above my pay grade! 1.3421 0.05531 152 118 16 18
469 Yes, you get three wishes, once you accept our “User Agreement”. 1.3421 0.04769 152 109 34 9
470 Hi, I'm Gene. I too dream of Jeannie. 1.3419 0.05050 155 115 27 13
471 I'll run your wishes by HR and get back to you. 1.3419 0.05050 155 115 27 13
472 As Mr. Genie's attorney, I'm going to need you to sign these waivers before you start wishing. 1.3419 0.04795 155 112 33 10
473 And ixnay on the wishing for more benefits. 1.3419 0.04525 155 109 39 7
474 I will now grant you three stock tips. 1.3419 0.04707 155 111 35 9
475 I'll have to run it by legal. 1.3419 0.05842 117 87 20 10
476 Consider this subpoena to be legally served! 1.3418 0.04899 158 116 30 12
477 Please submit each wish in triplicate. 1.3418 0.04732 158 114 34 10
478 Maybe you were expecting an attractive female wearing revealing clothes that expose her belly button. 1.3418 0.04899 158 116 30 12
479 I will grant you three tax tips. 1.3418 0.04816 158 115 32 11
480 You're Fired!, Try again. 1.3418 0.04732 158 114 34 10
481 Yes, your wish has been granted: You win the caption contest! 1.3415 0.05221 164 126 20 18
482 Wish quickly. I bill by the hour. 1.3413 0.04635 167 121 35 11
483 First things first, I answer to Gene, my pronouns are he/him, and I don't do violence or elections. 1.3400 0.05079 150 111 27 12
484 ..I grant thee 3 percent mortgage rate.. 1.3400 0.04714 150 107 35 8
485 You get three wishes - none of which will get passed through Congress. 1.3399 0.05177 153 115 24 14
486 The name’s Al Ladin, Attorney. 1.3394 0.04748 165 121 32 12
487 Any rubbing must first be approved by HR. 1.3378 0.05123 148 110 26 12
488 A lot of people don’t know about the benefits of a time-share condo. 1.3378 0.05212 148 111 24 13
489 I am the Boomer Genie! Ask me any wish! - except for college debt forgiveness... 1.3377 0.04688 151 108 35 8
490 Sure, but I'll need you to fill out IRS Form 709 first. 1.3377 0.05222 151 114 23 14
491 The magic lamp thought you said “ Cheney.” 1.3377 0.04873 151 110 31 10
492 Representing the occupant of the lantern, I want to discuss first the terms of this wish-fulfillment contract as they relate to any wishes, granted in part or in full, by the granter of such wishes, heretofore "The Genie," "Genie," or "Gene." 1.3377 0.05222 151 114 23 14
493 I'm sorry Frank, but even I can't grant you a wish to make Donald Trump show up naked and drunk at a MAGA gathering. 1.3377 0.05230 154 117 22 15
494 Your wish has come true, you’re fired! 1.3356 0.05436 146 112 19 15
495 Yes, I will promote you if you let me go back to my office. 1.3356 0.04982 146 107 29 10
496 No! You must work from the office. 1.3356 0.05076 146 108 27 11
497 As a thank you for releasing me, you may choose 3 people to be audited by the IRS. 1.3356 0.05182 149 112 24 13
498 Since you wished for all the money in the world, I’m here to talk about your tax liability. 1.3356 0.05182 149 112 24 13
499 As per your wish to travel to far off lands,your job will be outsourced to China. 1.3356 0.04913 149 109 30 10
500 That's not a genie, that's Eugene! 1.3355 0.04568 152 108 37 7
501 ...non-binding, non-transferable, not valid in CA, MA, NY... 1.3355 0.04602 155 111 36 8
502 Cheney in a bottle? I was hoping for a "Genie"! 1.3354 0.04803 158 116 31 11
503 You were expecting Barbara Eden? 1.3333 0.04885 150 110 30 10
504 You're a cartoonist. You expect me to write you a caption. NOT VERY LIKELY. 1.3333 0.05398 144 110 20 14
505 The genie sent me out here to advise you of the potential tax liabilities associated with having 'all of the money in the world'. 1.3333 0.05025 144 106 28 10
506 ...but after taxes, two wishes! 1.3333 0.05021 159 120 25 14
507 You get three wishes, but I take 40%… 1.3333 0.04907 153 113 29 11
508 By wishing on this lamp, you are hereby bound to the terms set forth as follows... 1.3333 0.05047 147 109 27 11
509 Pursuant to the terms of the lamp contract, I, the genie, must clarify that wishes are subject to feasibility, legality, and logical coherence. The wish-maker bears full responsibility for any consequences. 1.3333 0.04885 150 110 30 10
510 This could have been an email! 1.3312 0.05063 157 119 24 14
511 The only magic I know is the magic of compound interest. 1.3312 0.04880 154 114 29 11
512 Another wish that could have been an email! 1.3312 0.04966 154 115 27 12
513 I’m Gene, not Genie. You get three memos. 1.3311 0.05198 148 112 23 13
514 Please call me Gene. 1.3311 0.04537 148 105 37 6
515 I bet you were not expecting the Genie of Omaha 1.3311 0.05198 148 112 23 13
516 I grant you one wish an an option for two more. 1.3311 0.04735 148 107 33 8
517 In witness whereof the parties hereunto have agreed to three wishes - now please sign." 1.3310 0.04596 145 103 36 6
518 You actually owe me a wish. 1.3310 0.04596 145 103 36 6
519 I am the accountant in the bottle and I grant you three exemptions, but the third can't be for a million more exemptions. 1.3310 0.04491 145 102 38 5
520 Sorry, but even I can't figure out the caption contest. 1.3310 0.05184 145 109 24 12
521 Well, you're not what I expected either 1.3310 0.05091 145 108 26 11
522 Do you really think that if I was all-powerful I'd be living in a bottle? 1.3310 0.05166 142 106 25 11
523 I'm a little genie, short and stout. Here is my handle here is my spout 1.3310 0.04969 142 104 29 9
524 No, not Genie. Cheney. I'm here to redistribute your wishes to the job creators, but they'll trickle down to you eventually. 1.3310 0.05069 142 105 27 10
525 You have three wishes. If re-elected, I promise I will fulfill them. 1.3290 0.04939 155 116 27 12
526 Surprise! This is an audit. 1.3289 0.05094 152 115 24 13
527 We need to discuss my retainer fee. 1.3289 0.04897 149 110 29 10
528 This ain’t Disney. There’s gonna be transaction fees, taxes, an EPA filing for the lamp discharge… 1.3289 0.05168 149 113 23 13
529 Let's talk about wish fulfillment. 1.3288 0.04871 146 107 30 9
530 We’re cutting back. You only get one wish. 1.3287 0.04940 143 105 29 9
531 And, Ts & Cs apply! 1.3287 0.04413 143 100 39 4
532 I grant you three tax exemptions 1.3286 0.04803 140 101 32 7
533 My wish is your command 1.3286 0.04909 140 102 30 8
534 I'll grant you three presidential pardons. 1.3286 0.05012 140 103 28 9
535 Don’t rub me the wrong way. 1.3286 0.05311 140 106 22 12
536 Nothing helpful or useful - only wishful. 1.3286 0.04584 140 99 36 5
537 Sorry, but the Genie has been bought out by private equity. 1.3280 0.05301 125 92 25 8
538 We've gone corporate now, so I need to put your wishes in escrow until we check your bona fides. 1.3269 0.04911 156 117 27 12
539 But first, the release forms. 1.3269 0.04471 156 112 37 7
540 Putting me back into the bottle will cost you a cancellation subscription of $9.99, per wish, per month 1.3268 0.05232 153 118 20 15
541 The board has voted to reject your first wish. 1.3267 0.05138 150 114 23 13
542 Are you into stocks and bondage? 1.3265 0.04938 147 109 28 10
543 Wishes? No, no, I'm GENE...you know...from accounting. I can file your taxes for you. 1.3265 0.04842 147 108 30 9
544 Your wishes will be amortized and depreciated. 1.3264 0.04911 144 106 29 9
545 You think your company's return-to-office policy sucks? Try working in a fricking lamp! 1.3262 0.05467 141 109 18 14
546 Your usual genie is on probation for inappropriate wish fulfillment, so as his attorney, I'll be representing him today. 1.3262 0.04774 141 102 32 7
547 Wishes are void where prohibited. 1.3262 0.04557 141 100 36 5
548 I’m here to grant you three opportunities for early retirement. 1.3262 0.05083 141 105 26 10
549 Sorry, 'genies' are no longer culturally acceptable. I'm a congressional lobbyist and the best I can do is three legislative requests for purely personal gain. 1.3262 0.04982 141 104 28 9
550 My command is not your wish! 1.3261 0.04842 138 100 31 7
551 Stop rubbing! Leave my wife in there. 1.3261 0.05458 138 106 19 13
552 I hereby grant you three non-transferable wishes, not redeemable for cash or three more wishes. Satisfaction not guaranteed. Void where prohibited by state law or The Walt Disney Company. 1.3261 0.04842 138 100 31 7
553 … and I shall grant you three deductions. 1.3261 0.04842 138 100 31 7
554 ...and in return, I will offer you three investment options that are currently outperforming the market, but I must caution you that past performance is no guarantee of future returns. 1.3254 0.05501 126 95 21 10
555 This wish could've been an email. 1.3250 0.04482 160 116 36 8
556 This better be important! 1.3243 0.04718 148 108 32 8
557 I’m running out of business ideas here, Elon. 1.3243 0.04909 148 110 28 10
558 We settle at one wish, or my client stays in the lamp. 1.3241 0.05350 145 112 19 14
559 Oh, I can't grant wealth unless you already have an over-abundance of it. 1.3241 0.04979 145 108 27 10
560 You can ask 3 questions about your 1040. 1.3241 0.04979 145 108 27 10
561 Before I get to the wishes, let's talk about terms and conditions. 1.3241 0.04979 145 108 27 10
562 Greetings! I’m Gene from the IRS. I will grant you three exemptions. 1.3239 0.04952 142 105 28 9
563 Due to inflation you only get one wish... 1.3239 0.05150 142 107 24 11
564 What, you were expecting Barbara Eden? 1.3237 0.05424 139 107 19 13
565 I will grant you three wishes; four if you make it worth my while. 1.3237 0.04358 139 97 39 3
566 Hey kid. You rub me the wrong way! 1.3237 0.05327 139 106 21 12
567 I want three wishes on my desk by Monday. 1.3237 0.04920 139 102 29 8
568 Your wife said to tell you she got here first. 1.3237 0.04920 139 102 29 8
569 Our sponsor for today's wish is LegalZoom... 1.3235 0.04654 136 97 34 5
570 Where’s the toilet! 1.3235 0.05206 136 102 24 10
571 Your wish is coming right up, but first, I'd like to talk with you about a reverse mortgage. 1.3235 0.05511 136 105 18 13
572 No, I'm his lawyer. You wouldn't believe the legal consequences of some of the wishes he fulfills. 1.3235 0.05101 136 101 26 9
573 Success in life is the result of hard work and knowing whose ass to kiss, not some bogus genie 1.3235 0.04993 136 100 28 8
574 I’m a Cheney in a bottle, baby. 1.3235 0.05101 136 101 26 9
575 Before we get to the wishes, let's talk about my performance incentive plan. 1.3235 0.04993 136 100 28 8
576 Before you make your wish I must advise you that you will receive a 1099. 1.3228 0.04985 127 92 29 6
577 I will grant you three problems. 1.3226 0.04838 155 116 28 11
578 I’m here to negotiate the terms of my client’s three wishes. 1.3224 0.04815 152 113 29 10
579 I grant you three tedious projects that I will take the credit for. 1.3221 0.04692 149 109 32 8
580 I am Gene and I grant you three deductions. 1.3221 0.04881 149 111 28 10
581 We’ve been trying to contact you about your auto insurance 1.3219 0.05228 146 112 21 13
582 Thank you! Your mother locked me into that thing 33 years ago! 1.3217 0.05119 143 108 24 11
583 Yes, 3 wishes, whatever you want -- but keep in mind that I get 40%. 1.3217 0.04718 143 104 32 7
584 I COULD grant your wish for a million dollars, but think of the taxes! 1.3214 0.04994 140 104 27 9
585 The name is Eugene now 1.3214 0.05196 140 106 23 11
586 I can get you a fourth wish if you hear me out on this timeshare deal 1.3214 0.05196 140 106 23 11
587 We’re experimenting with a new remote work situation. 1.3214 0.04675 140 101 33 6
588 Before you go, please select one: I never signed up for genies; I get too many genies; this genie is spam. 1.3214 0.05196 140 106 23 11
589 Hah! You WISH .... 1.3212 0.04508 137 97 36 4
590 If you wish to use a sick day, I’m going to need a doctor’s note. 1.3212 0.04962 137 101 28 8
591 You really thought you could cheat the IRS? We own the genie business! 1.3212 0.05276 137 104 22 11
592 Any wishes over 500k will need board approval. 1.3209 0.05036 134 99 27 8
593 To get your three wishes you must first sign these assumption of risk, mandatory arbitration, and nondisclosure agreements. 1.3209 0.05464 134 103 19 12
594 Your wish to work from home has been denied, but I can pull some strings for a pizza party 1.3209 0.05036 134 99 27 8
595 I am the tax genie. I will grant you three deductions. 1.3205 0.05063 156 120 22 14
596 Wishes no, deductions… maybe 1.3205 0.04066 156 109 44 3
597 At WishWell Financial,we specialize in helping wishmakers like yourself navigate the unique challenges and opportunities that come with sudden prosperity. 1.3203 0.04877 153 115 27 11
598 Stop rubbing lamps and get back to work! 1.3194 0.04992 144 108 26 10
599 You get three free pieces of tax advice. 1.3194 0.04793 144 106 30 8
600 You may choose any three deductions your heart desires! 1.3194 0.05088 144 109 24 11
601 I'll grant you three options...... 1.3191 0.04537 141 101 35 5
602 Send me back! I forgot my eyeballs! 1.3191 0.04964 141 105 27 9
603 I'm afraid we have to take those wishes back. 1.3191 0.04648 141 102 33 6
604 you must accept the terms and conditions before using the genie. 1.3191 0.05164 141 107 23 11
605 This is what happens when private equity buys the lamp company. 1.3188 0.05441 138 107 18 13
606 You get three wishes, but no tax advice. 1.3188 0.05037 138 103 26 9
607 Now that's some out of the bottle thinking! 1.3188 0.05037 138 103 26 9
608 Before my client grants you three wishes, I need to go over the legal and tax implications with you. 1.3185 0.05325 135 103 21 11
609 Oh great master, I grant you three tax loopholes. 1.3185 0.04418 135 95 37 3
610 Be careful what you wish for. It might be expensive. 1.3185 0.05221 135 102 23 10
611 Be careful that your next wish doesn't put you back in the office like me. 1.3185 0.04893 135 99 29 7
612 Ultimate truth? You’re an ass Jerry. One down, what’s next? 1.3182 0.05193 132 99 24 9
613 As your lawyer, I strongly advise you against wishing for three more wishes. 1.3182 0.05303 132 100 22 10
614 You may NOT wish to be a dictator for one day. 1.3182 0.04966 132 97 28 7
615 As a business corporation CEO in a lantern, I'm here to deprive you of three of your wishes." 1.3182 0.05303 132 100 22 10
616 Did you say genie or Cheney? 1.3182 0.04966 132 97 28 7
617 I will grant you three stock tips. 1.3182 0.04727 132 95 32 5
618 And don’t invest in bitcoin. That’s three. 1.3182 0.05411 132 101 20 11
619 Things have changed. Now you must grant ME three wishes. 1.3182 0.05193 132 99 24 9
620 He’ll be back in a moment. Let’s talk about the tax implications of wish two. 1.3179 0.04733 151 112 30 9
621 Don’t ask me. Ask your mother. 1.3172 0.05057 145 110 24 11
622 If you're the genius who turned me into a genie, you're fired! 1.3172 0.04765 145 107 30 8
623 What the fuck did you think I'd be wearing, a red sash? 1.3172 0.04663 145 106 32 7
624 And you thought putting toothpaste back into the tube was a challenge? 1.3169 0.05323 142 110 19 13
625 You get three wishes ... after this short presentation about time shares. 1.3169 0.04727 142 104 31 7
626 I only grant wishes as it concerns tax form 720-X 1.3169 0.04832 142 105 29 8
627 Fire hydrants and traffic lights confuse me but I assure you I am not a robot. 1.3165 0.05309 139 107 20 12
628 And don’t call me Jeanie 1.3165 0.04793 139 102 30 7
629 Might I suggest using your first wish on a gift tax exemption? 1.3165 0.04925 158 121 24 13
630 How did you know? Yes, it was a hostile takeover. 1.3162 0.05081 136 102 25 9
631 Sorry, those three wishes will never get through the Freedom Caucus. 1.3162 0.05081 136 102 25 9
632 If you or a loved one has been injured by a malevolent genie, you may be entitled to compensation 1.3162 0.05291 136 104 21 11
633 Don't forget that wishes are taxable income. Expect your 1099-genie in February 1.3161 0.04735 155 116 29 10
634 All the wish money has vanished into legal fees. 1.3158 0.05160 133 100 24 9
635 You get 3 loopholes on your next IRS form. 1.3158 0.05048 133 99 26 8
636 By rubbing this lamp, you have hereby consented to the terms and conditions of this particular Genie’s wish granting services. You have also agreed to any dispute resolution according to the laws of the state of Delaware. 1.3158 0.04934 133 98 28 7
637 Yes, three wishes, but with claw-back clauses explained in the prospectus. 1.3158 0.04934 133 98 28 7
638 I will grant you 3 deductions... 1.3158 0.04934 133 98 28 7
639 ... But first let's discuss my fee. 1.3154 0.04373 149 107 37 5
640 Your wife got your three wishes. I'm here to rub it in. 1.3154 0.05224 149 116 19 14
641 No, you still have to do your own taxes 1.3154 0.04956 149 113 25 11
642 The best I can do is reduce your amortization period down to 20 years with accelerated bi-weekly payments 1.3154 0.05126 130 97 25 8
643 After taxes, it's really more like 2 2/3 wishes. 1.3154 0.05126 130 97 25 8
644 Before I grant you 3 wishes you need to agree to The Privacy Settings depending on in which country we are 1.3151 0.05121 146 112 22 12
645 btw your wishes are taxable 1.3147 0.04699 143 105 31 7
646 All wishes are granted "as is", with no responsibility on my part or guarantee of results. 1.3147 0.05197 143 110 21 12
647 Before you say anything...did you read and sign the disclaimer? 1.3139 0.04720 137 100 31 6
648 There's no such thing as a free wish 1.3139 0.04942 137 102 27 8
649 For your final wish, I've made your portfolio soar by outsourcing your job. 1.3137 0.04680 153 114 30 9
650 How do I look in a suit? 1.3134 0.05016 134 100 26 8
651 ...or you can put two out of three wishes in a Roth IRA. 1.3134 0.05341 134 103 20 11
652 Next time, don’t rub it with your tie. 1.3134 0.05016 134 100 26 8
653 I'm the CPA of the lamp. Make it quick, this is tax season." 1.3130 0.04976 131 97 27 7
654 Three wishes! But they must involve corporate finance!! 1.3130 0.05207 131 99 23 9
655 I am the great Genie of Bureaucracy. You can name three organizations you would like me to screw up. 1.3125 0.04929 128 94 28 6
656 No, that would be socialism. In capitalism, I get the three wishes. 1.3125 0.05629 128 100 16 12
657 You, my friend, are being audited! 1.3125 0.05173 128 96 24 8
658 Of course it will be billable. I'm not an idiot! 1.3125 0.05291 128 97 22 9
659 HR says you have to stop with all the rubbing. 1.3125 0.05173 128 96 24 8
660 Pick three from border control, a balanced budget, high school graduation rates, aid to Ukraine, judicial reform, free universal health care, and anti-fracking. 1.3125 0.05518 128 99 18 11
661 I’m your congressional genie and I’ll crush your every wish 1.3125 0.05173 128 96 24 8
662 Yes but only after April 15 1.3125 0.05406 128 98 20 10
663 I'll do it––for 30%. 1.3125 0.04774 144 107 29 8
664 I’m the Tax Genie, I will grant you three deductions you normally wouldn’t get 1.3125 0.05291 128 97 22 9
665 I can't give you a raise, the best I got is bagel Friday 1.3121 0.04736 141 104 30 7
666 I am the genius who wished to be the genie in the lamp. 1.3121 0.05243 141 109 20 12
667 Actually I'm a Gene, and my wishes have way more strings attached 1.3121 0.04841 141 105 28 8
668 I hereby grant you 3 uptrending economic indicators. 1.3116 0.05018 138 104 25 9
669 Care to discuss estate planning before I grant that wish? 1.3116 0.05018 138 104 25 9
670 I shall grant you three... work-at-home days a month. 1.3116 0.05224 138 106 21 11
671 Your final wish is to have ten more wishes? Congrats, you found the loophole.” 1.3111 0.04984 135 101 26 8
672 Just a few things to go over with legal before you proceed with the wishes. 1.3106 0.05283 132 101 21 10
673 I grant you three days off--take it or leave it." 1.3106 0.04944 132 98 27 7
674 The previous genie was indicted for numerous tax fraud wishes. 1.3106 0.05060 132 99 25 8
675 And I will grant you three deductions. 1.3101 0.05019 129 96 26 7
676 I will now grant you three tax loopholes 1.3101 0.05138 129 97 24 8
677 Hi, I’m from the IRS about that last wish for a million dollars …” 1.3101 0.05803 129 103 12 14
678 I will grant thee, wishes three...so long as they all involve getting you elected Governor of Texas. 1.3101 0.05019 129 96 26 7
679 If you're going to be a writer, you need to be more original. 1.3101 0.04511 129 92 34 3
680 You can take your chances with three wishes, or else go for the standard deduction.” 1.3095 0.05221 126 95 23 8
681 Before the genie appears, you need to agree to the following terms and conditions... 1.3095 0.05221 126 95 23 8
682 And again you rub me the wrong way! 1.3095 0.05686 126 99 15 12
683 Please sign this document for the terms and conditions of your wish 1.3095 0.04842 126 92 29 5
684 The scond downside is that it's reportable income, taxed like lottery winnings. 1.3095 0.05341 126 96 21 9
685 Now that you've made your three wishes let's take care of the fine print shall we... 1.3095 0.05221 126 95 23 8
686 ...make that two wishes and a free set of knives. 1.3095 0.05221 126 95 23 8
687 Of course I am AI generated 1.3095 0.05221 126 95 23 8
688 No, you can't start over. 1.3095 0.05221 126 95 23 8
689 I'll grant you 3 wishes. But you still have to work this weekend. 1.3095 0.05098 126 94 25 7
690 You get three wishes, but they only vest over the span of three years. 1.3095 0.05098 126 94 25 7
691 Nope, not a genie. I'm from H.R. You do your lamp rubbing on your own time. 1.3095 0.05341 126 96 21 9
692 I grant you three itemized deductions. 1.3095 0.05098 126 94 25 7
693 Please read the legal disclaimers and the limited warranty before you make a wish. 1.3095 0.04972 126 93 27 6
694 No, I am not Barbara Eden's father! 1.3095 0.05098 126 94 25 7
695 I wish to work at home”, you said! “I wish to wear my comfy pants, like, ALL day”, you said 1.3095 0.04972 126 93 27 6
696 I’ll grant you three wishes as long as one of them is not to keep your job. 1.3088 0.05168 136 104 22 10
697 Endless riches go in box 7a 1.3083 0.04795 133 98 29 6
698 I'm sorry -- I cannot do your taxes. 1.3083 0.05139 133 101 23 9
699 Before we can talk about those wishes, you'll have to sign an NDA. 1.3083 0.04795 133 98 29 6
700 Our research suggests an accountant in a bottle is more practical. 1.3083 0.05139 133 101 23 9
701 By rubbing, you agree to the following terms and conditions 1.3077 0.04741 130 95 30 5
702 You get only one wish, but it comes with free tax advice. 1.3077 0.04986 130 97 26 7
703 I grant you 3 deductions that you don’t qualify for. 1.3077 0.05220 130 99 22 9
704 Remember, I can only grant wishes dealing with power of attorney. 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
705 No, no, it’s one wish, but you have to submit it in triplicate. 1.3071 0.05058 140 107 23 10
706 My name is Gene. I'm in middle management so there's not really much I can do for you. 1.3071 0.05185 127 96 23 8
707 First of all, let me tell you what I’m not going to do! 1.3071 0.04938 127 94 27 6
708 Bob immediately regretted his clearance sale purchase of Gene in a bottle. 1.3071 0.05304 127 97 21 9
709 I can grant you two tax credits and an extension. 1.3071 0.05063 127 95 25 7
710 Bear in mind you'll pay a 10% tax on the first wish, 24% on the second, and 37% on the third. 1.3071 0.04938 127 94 27 6
711 Of course you get three wishes, but then you must transfer to accounting. 1.3067 0.05001 150 116 22 12
712 You are hereby granted three write-offs. 1.3066 0.04464 137 99 34 4
713 Let's think outside the lamp for a moment. 1.3065 0.04882 124 91 28 5
714 As your genie accountant, i can give you three unindictable wishes. 1.3065 0.05144 124 93 24 7
715 But first, a word from our sponsors… 1.3065 0.04882 124 91 28 5
716 I’m sorry, you can’t wish to fast forward this election cycle. 1.3065 0.05144 124 93 24 7
717 Well maybe I was expecting YOU to be more attractive. 1.3065 0.05144 124 93 24 7
718 Not trusting AI's recommendations, Bill hoped the "Executive in a Lamp" could help him straighten out the company. 1.3065 0.05144 124 93 24 7
719 Lamp lawyers don't do wishes, but here's two writs and a codicil. 1.3065 0.05393 124 95 20 9
720 After hearing that wish,the Stones may have had it wrong 1.3065 0.05015 124 92 26 6
721 Wishes?? No. I can offer three tax deductions. 1.3065 0.05393 124 95 20 9
722 I was trapped in a tiny, windowless space, doing the bidding of greedy, thankless rulers — but, hey, you couldn't possibly relate." 1.3065 0.05513 124 96 18 10
723 You get three audits. 1.3060 0.04881 134 100 27 7
724 The higher-ups will never go for three more wishes. 1.3060 0.04881 134 100 27 7
725 But is it legal in Alabama? 1.3060 0.04881 134 100 27 7
726 Now you've let the Cheney out of the bottle! 1.3060 0.04994 134 101 25 8
727 A company paid PPO? I grant wishes, not miracles. 1.3058 0.05358 121 92 21 8
728 I said any three wishes except quality healthcare 1.3053 0.05071 131 99 24 8
729 Anything but politics! 1.3047 0.05268 128 98 21 9
730 Whereas you are in possession of the magic lamp, I hereby grant you three wishes subject to the restrictions stipulated in the terms and conditions. 1.3047 0.04905 128 95 27 6
731 Damn, I was hiding in there from my ex wife! 1.3047 0.05029 128 96 25 7
732 Sorry! The 'Three-Wish' rule has been overturned by the Supreme Court! 1.3047 0.05268 128 98 21 9
733 Before we proceed with your first wish let's go over some paperwork, including the non-disclosure agreement 1.3047 0.05268 128 98 21 9
734 The genie has filed for bankruptcy and I am only here to liquidate their assets. 1.3047 0.05029 128 96 25 7
735 Before we get started, its Eugene. 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
736 Rubbed the wrong way! 1.3040 0.05108 125 94 24 7
737 I want your wishes on my desk first thing Monday morning. 1.3040 0.04849 125 92 28 5
738 Ummm no, I’m not the genie, I’m here to read you the disclaimer. 1.3040 0.05355 125 96 20 9
739 Accountant in a teapot- 1.3040 0.04980 125 93 26 6
740 3 wishes will never make it past the House. How about half a wish bundled with some more corporate tax cuts? 1.3037 0.05390 135 106 17 12
741 Your retainer covers the first wish. The second and third will be billed hourly. 1.3037 0.05073 135 103 23 9
742 I will grant you three investments. 1.3037 0.04962 135 102 25 8
743 You should have seen what the last guy wished for. 1.3033 0.05059 122 91 25 6
744 No worries, I'm still Jeannie but I transitioned, I'm trans 1.3033 0.04923 122 90 27 5
745 Before we get started, just know a raise is off the table. 1.3033 0.04784 122 89 29 4
746 You wanted Genie in a bottle? Sorry, this is Cheney in a bottle. Who do you want liberated? 1.3033 0.05191 122 92 23 7
747 I shall grant you one statute, one ordinance, and one law. 1.3033 0.05059 122 91 25 6
748 Geez! After 50 years these acid flashbacks are still f***ing weird. 1.3033 0.05320 122 93 21 8
749 "Okay, that's one venti soy latte and a croissanwich. And I'll try for the filing extension, but you know the IRS." 1.3033 0.05446 122 94 19 9
750 I'm here to explain the terms and conditions of the three wishes. 1.3033 0.05446 122 94 19 9
751 Well, there is a transaction fee, and a convenience fee, so it’s really just one wish. 1.3033 0.05446 122 94 19 9
752 I'm from the Legal Department. Wishes are limited. 1.3033 0.05191 122 92 23 7
753 Yeah I’m just a temp so maybe rub the lamp again in a week or so 1.3033 0.05191 122 92 23 7
754 Making a million more wishes violates the terms. 1.3030 0.04802 132 98 28 6
755 You get one wish, but the taxes on it will be brutal. 1.3030 0.05151 132 101 22 9
756 Student loan forgiveness wishes are out. Even I am powerless on SCOTUS rulings. 1.3028 0.04895 142 108 25 9
757 No... but I can give you advice on how to limit you tax liability. 1.3023 0.04747 129 95 29 5
758 I can grant things like stock options, additional family leave, and expense reimbursements. 1.3023 0.04873 129 96 27 6
759 This service requires your consent for the collection of personal data. 1.3023 0.04485 129 93 33 3
760 I grant you three deductions. 1.3016 0.05073 126 95 24 7
761 What did I tell you about fooling around with my antiques? 1.3016 0.05197 126 96 22 8
762 I shall grant you three questionable tax deductions. 1.3016 0.05197 126 96 22 8
763 You have been granted three deductions. 1.3016 0.04947 126 94 26 6
764 I know, I know. I’m not who you had in mind. 1.3016 0.05073 126 95 24 7
765 Technically as your genie I am able to grant your wish, however as your genie counsel I implore you to consider the repercussions that may arise after wishing every day was taco Tuesday 1.3016 0.04817 126 93 28 5
766 you will be granted 3 wishes, but first this amazing presentation on time share 1.3016 0.05551 126 99 16 11
767 No, no, I'm a politician - my wish is your command 1.3008 0.05024 123 92 25 6
768 I'll redraft any legal document up to three times, but you'll have to pay my retainer. 1.3008 0.04751 123 90 29 4
769 No wishes are granted during government shutdown. 1.3008 0.05282 123 94 21 8
770 Your wish is my command, after you pay a 10% service fee, 20% consultation fee, and automatic 30% tip. 1.3008 0.04771 133 99 28 6
771 No, I'm just Gene. I can grant you three tax advisements. 1.3000 0.05239 120 91 22 7
772 It’s ‘EUgenie’ to you, my boy. 1.3000 0.05081 130 99 23 8
773 No, I don't need pants to do my work. 1.3000 0.05104 120 90 24 6
774 I don't do wishes. But if you're ever sued, I'll represent you pro bono. 1.3000 0.04822 120 88 28 4
775 I cann offer you three options. 1.3000 0.04588 130 95 31 4
776 I've told you before-my name is Gene not Jeannie. 1.3000 0.05371 120 92 20 8
777 I'll need two years of tax returns and a credit report before I can grant that wish. 1.3000 0.05197 130 100 21 9
778 You interrupted my 1000-year sleep to wish for a new stapler? 1.3000 0.05500 120 93 18 9
779 No, I'm *Gene*. From Accounting. And we all wish you would submit receipts with your expense reports. 1.3000 0.04963 130 98 25 7
780 That's not the big dick I was asking for. 1.3000 0.05104 120 90 24 6
781 Before I grant your first wish, I'd like us to go over the legal ramifications! 1.3000 0.04456 130 94 33 3
782 Look here bub, I just did you taxes for free, but if you want me to file them, that'll cost you another wish! 1.3000 0.05104 120 90 24 6
783 In today's litigious world, no liability waiver, no wishes. 1.3000 0.05371 120 92 20 8
784 Ahem... Before you can speak to the genie, there's a few legal matters to go over. 1.3000 0.04965 120 89 26 5
785 No wishes until you file your taxes 1.3000 0.04674 120 87 30 3
786 Sorry, I don't do taxes. 1.2993 0.05114 137 106 21 10
787 ...furthermore, the user expressly acknowledges and agrees that the use of the wish-granting service may be terminated at any time should the user wish for more wishes, and the genie is not liable for negative ("monkey's paw") externalities incurred. 1.2992 0.04913 127 95 26 6
788 Alright, I've talked it over with legal, and, technically, there's nothing preventing you from wishing for infinite wishes. 1.2991 0.05465 117 90 19 8
789 I don't recall a calendar request for this meeting. 1.2991 0.05328 117 89 21 7
790 Just to clarify, I want to mention that my IQ is above 140, which technically makes me a genius 1.2985 0.04498 134 98 32 4
791 I'm The Genie's Attorney 1.2985 0.05193 134 104 20 10
792 I'll grant you three wishes but none of them will protect your retirement savings. 1.2985 0.05508 134 107 14 13
793 We have already discussed this... A raise is not in the budget. Please try another wish. 1.2985 0.04741 134 100 28 6
794 The secret to life? Buy and hold. 1.2984 0.05369 124 96 19 9
795 I will grant you three exemptions. Choose wisely! 1.2984 0.05489 124 97 17 10
796 Unfortunately, you’ve rubbed him the wrong way. 1.2984 0.05245 124 95 21 8
797 The Genie demands you sign these waivers. 1.2984 0.05245 124 95 21 8
798 Your wish is my command, but be advised that I bill by the quarter hour. 1.2984 0.04856 124 92 27 5
799 It has come to our attention that you actually owe us a wish. 1.2977 0.05385 131 103 17 11
800 No. You can't wish to be me. 1.2977 0.05048 131 100 23 8
801 Hey kid, don’t rub me the wrong way! 1.2977 0.05385 131 103 17 11
802 You get three tax-free wishes. 1.2977 0.04809 131 98 27 6
803 Hey listen Buddy. If I knew the winning lottery numbers I wouldn't have to live inside a tin kettle!" 1.2975 0.05068 121 91 24 6
804 Wait! Your wish was to cut politicians off at their knees? 1.2975 0.05460 121 94 18 9
805 Heeeeeeeeere’s Genie! 1.2975 0.04930 121 90 26 5
806 I once bought a car from the same guy who sold you that thing. 1.2975 0.04930 121 90 26 5
807 Your wishes cannot be processed, there was a problem with your payment. 1.2975 0.05068 121 91 24 6
808 I bestow upon you three non-billable hours. 1.2975 0.05202 121 92 22 7
809 Oh, sorry, wrong lamp # 1.2975 0.04930 121 90 26 5
810 Put that back in the Fed Chair's office NOW! 1.2966 0.05150 118 89 23 6
811 Don’t ask me. I don’t have a leg to stand on. 1.2966 0.05150 118 89 23 6
812 Wishing is no substitute for a professional legal opinion. 1.2966 0.05008 118 88 25 5
813 You choose a preferred pronoun and I’ll do the rest! 1.2966 0.05008 118 88 25 5
814 Ask not what I can do for you,but what you can do to save democracy. 1.2966 0.05556 118 92 17 9
815 you know kid, you rub me the wrong way 1.2966 0.05424 118 91 19 8
816 No affairs of the heart. I'm strictly mergers and acquisitions. 1.2966 0.05289 118 90 21 7
817 Well, I thought you said, “Open fiscally’! 1.2966 0.05424 118 91 19 8
818 And the last but most important rule is any wish cannot negatively impact shareholder value. 1.2966 0.05424 118 91 19 8
819 It’s okay. We all dream of different genies. 1.2966 0.05289 118 90 21 7
820 I can grant you wealth, but you should know that I’m required to report your earnings to the IRS. 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
821 Has anyone talked to you about extending your car’s warranty? 1.2960 0.05331 125 97 19 9
822 I'll give you three grants. 1.2960 0.05451 125 98 17 10
823 I can grant you three dependents. 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
824 ...and past performance is no guarantee of future results. 1.2957 0.05089 115 86 24 5
825 As I'm sure you have noted, clause 14b3 states; "All wishes granted before accepting the updated terms and agreements are considered null & void. 1.2957 0.05089 115 86 24 5
826 Sorry. No wishes today. Can I interest you in a whole life policy? 1.2957 0.05380 115 88 20 7
827 You have three Tax wishes! 1.2957 0.04779 115 84 28 3
828 Vote for me and I'll Make America Magic Again! 1.2957 0.05790 115 91 14 10
829 My name is Gene - close enough? 1.2957 0.05236 115 87 22 6
830 Before we start I'll need you to cover a 3 wish retainer 1.2957 0.05089 115 86 24 5
831 Are you an AI or am I ? 1.2957 0.05089 115 86 24 5
832 I can't grant you a raise. Why don't you wish for a better work enviroment? 1.2957 0.05236 115 87 22 6
833 We've had to make cutbacks. You can only have two wishes 1.2955 0.05014 132 101 23 8
834 I don't really grant wishes, but I do make a lot of promises. 1.2951 0.05294 122 94 20 8
835 As your government genie, I'm here to tax your last three wishes. 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
836 I am going to make you rich beyond your dreams. Of course, a management fee of 1% applies. 1.2951 0.05294 122 94 20 8
837 Wait! I’ll grant you 3% interest if you don’t put me back in! 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
838 If you think that was impressive, wait until you get my bill. 1.2951 0.05294 122 94 20 8
839 Thanks kid, now I finally get my wish. 1.2946 0.05324 129 101 18 10
840 As the genie’s attorney, I must advise you that all wishes must be submitted in writing and notarized. 1.2946 0.05324 129 101 18 10
841 Well, I am here to work a little magic on your tax liabilities. 1.2941 0.04826 119 88 27 4
842 If you've been injured in a car accident, call the lawfirm of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe. You can skip to the Genie in 5...4...3... 1.2941 0.05250 119 91 21 7
843 You get three itemized deductions 1.2941 0.05250 119 91 21 7
844 Yes, but it would be more efficient to form an LLC before I grant it. 1.2941 0.05384 119 92 19 8
845 A "Stay Out Of Jail Free" card? I might want one of those for myself. 1.2937 0.04307 143 105 34 4
846 On account of inflation, I can grant you 1.6 wishes. 1.2937 0.05048 126 96 23 7
847 Trust me. Don’t ask to be an oil tycoon. 1.2937 0.04655 126 93 29 4
848 With Republican genies you can’t wish away Trump! 1.2937 0.05172 126 97 21 8
849 Before you make your 3 wishes you must first sign the NDA or they're null and void! 1.2932 0.04866 133 101 25 7
850 Young man, you really shouldn't be wishing for things you can't afford! 1.2931 0.05197 116 88 22 6
851 Don’t worry, it’s been over a thousand years since anyone wished for something for which my accounting background proved inadequate. 1.2931 0.05197 116 88 22 6
852 I’ll file 3 lawsuits for you. Who would you like to sue first? 1.2931 0.05197 116 88 22 6
853 You can have three deductions…or just take the standard one. 1.2931 0.05478 116 90 18 8
854 If I could really make people rich, do you think I'd be stuck in that latern? 1.2931 0.05478 116 90 18 8
855 Before you can meet your genie, please confirm that you have read and agree to these terms of service and privacy agreements. 1.2931 0.05478 116 90 18 8
856 Yes, three wishes; but none can involve tax prep 1.2931 0.05051 116 87 24 5
857 Can I interest you in a Time Share? 1.2931 0.05197 116 88 22 6
858 Wish to come in second for the The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest. 1.2931 0.05197 116 88 22 6
859 You got your wish your for a new boss. Now, back to work and get grinding! 1.2927 0.05382 123 96 18 9
860 I will now grant you three lawsuits. Only rule is you cannot sue me for more lawsuits. 1.2927 0.04431 123 89 32 2
861 Hello, I’m from the IRS… 1.2927 0.05128 123 94 22 7
862 My client is suing for false imprisonment... 1.2927 0.05382 123 96 18 9
863 I'll grant you three wishes, but you have to run them by Legal. 1.2923 0.04938 130 99 24 7
864 I'm here to grant you three tax breaks 1.2920 0.05286 113 86 21 6
865 Sell Tesla! 1.2920 0.05717 113 89 15 9
866 Sure, you can have your wishes. But you need to finish the quarterly earnings report first. 1.2920 0.05286 113 86 21 6
867 Where were you when I was growing up, Dad 1.2920 0.05577 113 88 17 8
868 What kind of Genie did you expect during Tax Season. 1.2920 0.04978 113 84 25 4
869 Wishes? No. But I can find you three deductions. 1.2920 0.05433 113 87 19 7
870 Thank you for releasing me from my world of endless meetings. 1.2920 0.05286 113 86 21 6
871 Sure, as soon as I get your 2023 IRS Form 1099. 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
872 ... In gratitude, I hereby grant you three tax deductions. 1.2917 0.04792 120 89 27 4
873 In the event Party A (hereafter, “RECIPIENT”) exercises this option to tender three (3) wishes, Party B (hereafter, “GENII”) shall be held harmless against any and all uncontemplated twists, ironic or not, resulting therefrom. 1.2917 0.05345 120 93 19 8
874 You get one wish in triplicate. 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
875 A Funding Bill?! Really? What kind of Genie do you think I am?! 1.2913 0.05013 127 97 23 7
876 I regret to inform you that due to a recent corporate reorganization, our genie service has been terminated. Instead, you can subscribe to our wish list for just $500 per month. 1.2913 0.05137 127 98 21 8
877 Careful what you wish for it's taxable. 1.2913 0.05374 127 100 17 10
878 I hereby grant you three deductions. 1.2913 0.05013 127 97 23 7
879 Please agree to the terms and conditions before we continue. 1.2910 0.04472 134 99 31 4
880 You do understand that 'Peace on Earth' requires the elimination of all other humans... 1.2906 0.05437 117 91 18 8
881 I advise you to read the small print. 1.2906 0.05159 117 89 22 6
882 I'm granting you three constructive criticisms. 1.2906 0.05702 117 93 14 10
883 Sorry, I had to find a way to tell you about tomorrow's conference. 1.2906 0.05014 117 88 24 5
884 Even the genies have been gentrified 1.2906 0.05300 117 90 20 7
885 ...but due to the Wish Reduction Act, you only get one. 1.2906 0.04865 117 87 26 4
886 I am the genie of the IRS audit. 1.2906 0.05437 117 91 18 8
887 Have you made any estimated wishes this year? 1.2906 0.05014 117 88 24 5
888 I told you the battery was low. 1.2906 0.05300 117 90 20 7
889 You cannot depreciate unregistered firearms or claim frozen embryos as dependent children. Last wish?" 1.2903 0.05465 124 98 16 10
890 You surely didn't expect those wishes to be granted without a disclaimer, did you? 1.2903 0.05465 124 98 16 10
891 I want to start off by saying no amount of rubbing is gonna get me back in there. So, best start wishing buddy..." 1.2903 0.05092 124 95 22 7
892 I’ll grant you 3 writs. 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
893 Retire at sixty-five with THAT portfolio? You wish!” 1.2895 0.05096 114 86 23 5
894 Well, sure, but I'm going to have to issue you a 1099. 1.2895 0.05940 114 92 11 11
895 I am Gene, the CEO. You get three days a week to come into the office. 1.2895 0.05246 114 87 21 6
896 This is an attempt from a debt collector to collect a debt. 1.2895 0.05392 114 88 19 7
897 You get three wishes, but they can't be a higher salary, more vacation time, or competent bosses. 1.2895 0.05096 114 86 23 5
898 Hey, Siri" 1.2895 0.05096 114 86 23 5
899 I am granting you three financial wishes...stock tips, audits, fraud trials...anything except crypto. Not even magic makes that work. 1.2895 0.05534 114 89 17 8
900 I've read your wishes and believe me, your gonna need a lawyer. 1.2895 0.04781 114 84 27 3
901 I am "Lawyer of the Lamp" . Who would you like to sue? 1.2895 0.05392 114 88 19 7
902 As your accountant Genii, I must advise you the your wish for a lump-sum million dollars has serious tax implications. 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
903 TERMS AND CONDITIONS A minimum three (3) wishes shall be granted to the signed party with respect to their rubbing of the lamp. Per condition 2.06 of subsection D, the signed party may not wish for additional wishes... 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
904 You're not working at home, you're frolicking. I want you back in the office. 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
905 We at the IRS have many ways to collect past taxes due! 1.2891 0.05563 128 103 13 12
906 My client wishes to inform you that you are out of wishes. 1.2883 0.05337 111 85 20 6
907 Due to a non-compete clause, I can't grant you any wishes, but I can provide you with three excellent tax saving tips... 1.2883 0.05488 111 86 18 7
908 If you were expecting a genie you may be entitled to compensation. 1.2883 0.05779 111 88 14 9
909 Technically, you only have two wishes. One is credited to keep me on retainer. 1.2883 0.05488 111 86 18 7
910 Please don't tell Vladimir Putin that you found me here. 1.2883 0.05488 111 86 18 7
911 I’ll grant your wishes, but I’ll need you to sign these Release of Liability agreements first 1.2883 0.05635 111 87 16 8
912 And those three wishes get taxed! 1.2883 0.05337 111 85 20 6
913 …yeah, well, I wish you’d get back to work. 1.2883 0.05488 111 86 18 7
914 I grant you three wishes, but I'll go ahead and withhold 1 1/2. 1.2883 0.05181 111 84 22 5
915 Oops ,wrong place I am Gene not Gennie 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
916 The proceeds of the third wish are my fee. 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
917 I’m sorry, but eliminating 7 more months of political advertising hell is beyond my abilities! 1.2881 0.04830 118 88 26 4
918 Have you considered the tax implications of being rich? 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
919 You know this long thing is my penis, right? 1.2881 0.05658 118 94 14 10
920 Dad? What are you doing in here? 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
921 Hard no! For THAT you don’t rub lamps, you kiss frogs!!! 1.2870 0.05350 115 89 19 7
922 Be advised the grantee’s wishes are subject to terms, limitations, and considerations as set forth herein . . . 1.2870 0.05206 115 88 21 6
923 And Don't try putting me Back! 1.2870 0.04904 115 86 25 4
924 Three wishes? Well, if you read section 5(b) subsection c of our original contract... 1.2870 0.05350 115 89 19 7
925 It's April 15th! I'm not a miracle worker! 1.2870 0.05350 115 89 19 7
926 No no, I'm actually Gene from accounting. 1.2870 0.05491 115 90 17 8
927 We are oversubscribed with wishes that a certain former president will, well, you know.... 1.2870 0.05491 115 90 17 8
928 The Jeanie is on leave. I’m the HR guy. How may I help? 1.2870 0.05350 115 89 19 7
929 You always rubbed me the wrong way, son. 1.2870 0.05628 115 91 15 9
930 Damn. I shouldn’t have wasted those 2 wishes on a Maserati and Philly cheesesteak 1.2870 0.05057 115 87 23 5
931 « Out with it, so you know, you’ve been rubbing me the wrong way for years » 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
932 Thus you have released Gene E., conservative commentator. You will now hear a seeming endless tirade about the immorality of expecting something for nothing. 1.2857 0.04982 112 84 24 4
933 I will grant you three deductions on your tax return. 1.2857 0.05295 112 86 20 6
934 Before you ask, I don't do tax returns! 1.2857 0.05445 112 87 18 7
935 Jesus, Thanks! i hate herbal tea ! 1.2857 0.05445 112 87 18 7
936 You have always rubbed me the wrong way, Harold. 1.2857 0.05591 112 88 16 8
937 OK, I'm not Barbara Eden but you're no Larry Hagman. 1.2857 0.05295 112 86 20 6
938 Section 117b in the clause states "one cannot use their wish to wish for more wishes" 1.2857 0.05222 119 92 20 7
939 Wait, who's running for president? Put me back please!! 1.2857 0.05488 119 94 16 9
940 Listen son, I've told you a thousand times to stay out of that drawer! 1.2857 0.05295 112 86 20 6
941 You may choose three non-dairy creamers for the break room. 1.2857 0.05141 112 85 22 5
942 If this is about your taxes, no I cannot “work my magic”. 1.2857 0.04982 112 84 24 4
943 Genie and Cheney do sound a lot alike… 1.2857 0.05295 112 86 20 6
944 You may have any three wishes, unless you live in Texas. 1.2857 0.05445 112 87 18 7
945 and furthermore ... 1.2845 0.04711 116 86 27 3
946 No, but I can give you three knishes. 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
947 We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty. 1.2845 0.05020 116 88 23 5
948 You would have gotten three wishes but due to corporate cutbacks I can only grant you a gently used ergonomic chair, a complimentary company keychain, and a $1-off coupon from Mike’s Snack Shack. 1.2845 0.04868 116 87 25 4
949 I said Genie, not Cheney! 1.2845 0.05585 116 92 15 9
950 I can grant you three loopholes, but I can't guarantee you won't get audited. 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
951 Mr. Genie to you! 1.2845 0.05449 116 91 17 8
952 I can grant you three tax dodges. 1.2844 0.05229 109 83 21 5
953 Due to supply-chain disruptions, your three wishes have been cut back to one wish... a tiny one. No exchanges, no refunds. 1.2844 0.05544 109 85 17 7
954 This wish is brought to you by Wish Management LLC. You should carefully consider all wish risks, objectives, expenses, and fees… sorry new regulations. 1.2844 0.05229 109 83 21 5
955 World peace, maybe I can give you, Selena Gomez, probably, but if you want season tickets for the Cubs' games, forget it. 1.2844 0.05842 109 87 13 9
956 I grant you three tax credits. 1.2844 0.05389 109 84 19 6
957 I grant you three wishes, which may include bribery, price fixing, fraud, tax evasion, money laundering, and insider trading. 1.2844 0.05544 109 85 17 7
958 WHEREAS the Wisher is the registered owner of the Bottle, WHEREAS, the Wisher is desirous of wishing on such terms as are set out in this Wishing Agreement (the Agreement)… 1.2844 0.05544 109 85 17 7
959 Go ask your mother! 1.2844 0.05064 109 82 23 4
960 Remember when I told you you need to make better choices? 1.2844 0.05544 109 85 17 7
961 You have two wishes after taxes! 1.2844 0.05064 109 82 23 4
962 You have three deductions 1.2838 0.06241 74 56 15 3
963 That's true, Frank, but in a recession you only get 2. 1.2836 0.04691 134 102 26 6
964 You’re going to have to rub more than that if you are wishing for a raise. 1.2833 0.05317 120 94 18 8
965 I'll grant you three emails that would have been meetings. 1.2833 0.05183 120 93 20 7
966 I’m also a tax write off. 1.2833 0.04131 120 86 34 0
967 Put me the hell back, Jenkins. Your wishes go in the suggestion box. 1.2832 0.05402 113 88 18 7
968 For freeing me from this lamp, I will grant you three deductions. 1.2832 0.05687 113 90 14 9
969 The Genie couldn't make it. I'm his accountant. 1.2832 0.05102 113 86 22 5
970 That's a great wish. I already thought of that and it's on our roadmap. We're realistically looking at Q4 to make it happen. 1.2832 0.05402 113 88 18 7
971 I'll NOT vote for your guy--EVER!!! 1.2823 0.05192 124 97 19 8
972 Wishes are too risky, young man. What you need is a diversified portfolio. 1.2821 0.05408 117 92 17 8
973 You were expecting Jeanie? 1.2821 0.04982 117 89 23 5
974 Your car warranty has expired 1.2821 0.05270 117 91 19 7
975 No not a magic lantern, a neti pot. 1.2821 0.04982 117 89 23 5
976 An extra fourteen wishes if you can get me to that TV without spoiling the final season of ‘Succession’. 1.2821 0.05128 117 90 21 6
977 Plastics! 1.2818 0.04855 110 82 25 3
978 Quick, wish to become the next genie. 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
979 Remember, whatever you wish for will be taxed 54% 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
980 I will grant you your wish of lower taxes, but only after you are in the top one percent of income earners." 1.2818 0.05024 110 83 23 4
981 Please make a wish for a cure for baldness!. 1.2818 0.05500 110 86 17 7
982 I am the Genie of Wall Street. Sell all your Apple Electric Car stock before it's too late, and sell Tesla while you're at it. 1.2818 0.05649 110 87 15 8
983 You were expecting maybe Barbara Eden? 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
984 Anything but crypto-currency! 1.2818 0.05500 110 86 17 7
985 Diversify. 1.2818 0.04499 110 80 29 1
986 Yoir Genie will be back after this unskippable insurance advertisement. 1.2818 0.05500 110 86 17 7
987 I’m terribly sorry. This lamp isn’t for wishes, you only get to ask for 3 stock tips. 1.2812 0.04953 128 99 22 7
988 I will grant your 3 wishes, for 50 percent of the profits. 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
989 First, we need to discuss my fee before we turn to your wishes 1.2810 0.05407 121 96 16 9
990 We must withhold one of the three wishes to cover IRS requirements. 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
991 Buy low. Sell high. Your third request? 1.2807 0.05361 114 89 18 7
992 A “tap” of the lamp does not constitute a “rub,” and shall grant you not three wishes, but a cease and desist. 1.2804 0.05277 107 82 20 5
993 Since I’m the boss, I get your three wishes. 1.2804 0.05108 107 81 22 4
994 I must have rubbed it the wrong way 1.2804 0.05277 107 82 20 5
995 For freeing me from the lamp, I will answer three of your tax questions. 1.2804 0.05602 107 84 16 7
996 Quick! Plug the end before my wife gets out! 1.2804 0.05602 107 84 16 7
997 No, I can’t stop death, but I can help you with your taxes. 1.2804 0.05277 107 82 20 5
998 Work on your diction, man!I heard you wanted a bald, bespectacled candidate, not a bold respectable one! 1.2804 0.05757 107 85 14 8
999 I object! 1.2804 0.05277 107 82 20 5
1000 Your third and last investment wish, buy Bitcoin…😂…sorry, bad joke. 1.2804 0.05277 107 82 20 5
1001 I hereby grant you 3 tax deductions. 1.2804 0.04750 107 79 26 2
1002 Won’t they get us for insider trading? 1.2804 0.05108 107 81 22 4
1003 Sorry Donald but there are limits to what even I can do! 1.2804 0.05277 107 82 20 5
1004 . . . and aforementioned client, viz 'The Lamp,' wishes to state, reiterate, and confirm that said rub was nonconsensual. 1.2804 0.05757 107 85 14 8
1005 Word peace? What are you, some kind of nut? 1.2804 0.05602 107 84 16 7
1006 keep this off the books, ok!? 1.2804 0.05442 107 83 18 6
1007 I will grant you three deductions on your taxes. 1.2803 0.04602 132 100 27 5
1008 You get three wishes, but I can’t get you another extension on your ‘22 return. 1.2803 0.04726 132 101 25 6
1009 I did Trump's taxes free for five years because he promised to free me and here I am still. But that's Trump. Fool me once..." 1.2797 0.05090 118 91 21 6
1010 I don't do 3 wishes anymore. But I can get you 8% on investments. 1.2797 0.05231 118 92 19 7
1011 And,of course, I'm a fuduciary 1.2793 0.04818 111 83 25 3
1012 Three wishes? Do I look like a genie? 1.2793 0.05456 111 87 17 7
1013 I know....my harem outfit is at the cleaners. 1.2793 0.05748 111 89 13 9
1014 ...I'm the Wall Street genie ... what kind of white collar crime is on your mind? 1.2793 0.05303 111 86 19 6
1015 I grant you three exemptions... 1.2793 0.04818 111 83 25 3
1016 Any wishes over $10,000 must be cleared with the SEC. 1.2793 0.05147 111 85 21 5
1017 That's right, three wishes. But I can't make anybody fall in love, I can't bring people back from the dead, and I can't let you work from home. 1.2793 0.05604 111 88 15 8
1018 I'll grant you 17, no, 21 wishes after I am elected. 1.2793 0.05303 111 86 19 6
1019 Wow! Noone has wished for an IRS agent to appear ever! 1.2787 0.05492 122 98 14 10
1020 Days of three wishes are over - now it's going to cost you! 1.2787 0.04836 122 93 24 5
1021 And finally, before your genie appears, I wish to emphasize that none of your wishes may injure me for relating this last hour’s litany of pre-wishing terms, conditions, and liability releases. 1.2783 0.05461 115 91 16 8
1022 I CHARGE BY THE WISH!! 1.2783 0.04711 115 86 26 3
1023 Test 1.2778 0.05556 108 85 16 7
1024 I'm going to stop you right there—as his accountant, this $1,000,000,000 thing has really gotten out of hand. 1.2778 0.05398 108 84 18 6
1025 If you work as hard as I do, you can grant your own wishes. 1.2778 0.05398 108 84 18 6
1026 Thanks for subscribing to “Three Wishes”! You now have three wishes for me to grant: you can wish for anything but more wishes, and tax exemption because that is exclusive to our more wealthy VIP subscriber package. 1.2778 0.05398 108 84 18 6
1027 You’ll need to sign a non-disclosure first. 1.2778 0.05067 108 82 22 4
1028 Buy Standard Oil! 1.2778 0.05067 108 82 22 4
1029 I’m Gene— covering today. 1.2778 0.05556 108 85 16 7
1030 This Lamp has been subject to a management takeover and we had to make some savings so one wish is all you’re getting 1.2778 0.05067 108 82 22 4
1031 Omg! With all that rubbing HR is going to have a fit! 1.2778 0.05398 108 84 18 6
1032 Your honor, I have proof he never pooped in his pants, on purpose. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
1033 I must grant you three reasonable requests. 1.2773 0.05327 119 94 17 8
1034 You get one wish. The corporate bosses get the other two. 1.2768 0.04947 112 85 23 4
1035 I don’t grant any wishes, but for a fee I’ll prepare your taxes. 1.2768 0.05107 112 86 21 5
1036 Wish valid while supplies last. Limit one wish per customer. Wish has no cash value and cannot be exchanged or returned. Wish subject to change or termination without notice. Additional terms and conditions may apply. 1.2768 0.05107 112 86 21 5
1037 MY ADVISE - SELL, SELL! 1.2762 0.04972 105 79 23 3
1038 How many wishes you get depends on our I.P.O. 1.2762 0.05152 105 80 21 4
1039 You should have considered the tax ramifications 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
1040 Technically, son, it's still nepotism. 1.2762 0.05152 105 80 21 4
1041 Well, you get three wishes but they’re amortized over the next 30 years. 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
1042 This is your government stimulus wish. 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
1043 I will give you two wishes and an option on a third. 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
1044 Eugene Edwards here, aka Gene E in a bottle! You get three wishes, but they all have to be approved by congress. So if you want your wish granted, you should wish for a congressional pay raise. Not much else is getting through these days. 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
1045 Before your three wishes, let’s discuss my clients limitation of liability. 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
1046 You get one wish. It’s called trickle down economics. 1.2762 0.05152 105 80 21 4
1047 It’s short for Eugene, but I understand your confusion 1.2762 0.05496 105 82 17 6
1048 Your three wishes are NOT tax deductible! 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
1049 Inflation’s rampant, so it’s just 2 wishes. 1.2761 0.05013 134 106 19 9
1050 You rubbed me the wrong way... I'm reporting you to HR. 1.2759 0.05419 116 92 16 8
1051 Any wishes you make will be subject to statutory withholding. 1.2759 0.05419 116 92 16 8
1052 Before accessing GENIE 1.0, please agree to the terms of usage below. 1.2759 0.04987 116 89 22 5
1053 I’m from corporate legal. We have received your three wishes, run them up the flagpole, and per internal discussion are now circling back to let you know that all have been denied. 1.2759 0.04987 116 89 22 5
1054 We need to think outside the lamp! 1.2752 0.05510 109 86 16 7
1055 Sorry, I used up all the wishes when I sold Berkshire Hathaway short. 1.2752 0.05193 109 84 20 5
1056 Thank you for calling Gene E. Consulting. How may I assist you? 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1057 You have released the genie’s lawyer in the lamp. Unfortunately, the genie is scared to death of catching Covid but as a gesture of good faith, I will grant you three minutes of free legal advice before charging you my normal rate of $450 an hour 1.2750 0.05546 120 97 13 10
1058 Of course I will grant your wish if I am elected. 1.2745 0.05601 102 80 16 6
1059 Your wish is my command. Of course we’ll still need to introduce it in the House, debate it on the floor, and don't even get me started on pocket veto. 1.2745 0.05424 102 79 18 5
1060 My advice: if you wish to be involved in the oil industry, be specific. 1.2745 0.05242 102 78 20 4
1061 There are no three wishes, but I can give you some stock tips! 1.2745 0.05937 102 82 12 8
1062 Whew finally! Is Reagan still president? 1.2745 0.05424 102 79 18 5
1063 Keep in mind that your three wished for index funds must include separate expense ratios. 1.2745 0.05771 102 81 14 7
1064 I advise you to just lay the lamp down and back away. 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
1065 After 6 months of employment, you will qualify for 3 wishes, but you may only use one wish per year, and you must contribute 1/3 to each wish. If you leave the company, you will lose all your unexercised wishes. 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
1066 alright you are now entitled to three questions about how to file your taxes 1.2745 0.05601 102 80 16 6
1067 I'll give you three exemptions. But they have to be in by April 15th. 1.2743 0.05657 113 91 13 9
1068 Before you say one word, I will need you to sign an NDA and agree to a background check. 1.2743 0.05515 113 90 15 8
1069 I know, I know. I'm not who you expected. You can thank the Genie Council's new DEI policy. 1.2743 0.05221 113 88 19 6
1070 For freeing me, I grant you three rate reductions. 1.2743 0.05370 113 89 17 7
1071 Since you called,I’ll take your case but require a retainer 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
1072 Sorry, that wish is above your pay grade, try again 1.2743 0.05370 113 89 17 7
1073 Wish smarter,not harder. 1.2736 0.05283 106 82 19 5
1074 Because I already know your wishes will put us in court. 1.2736 0.05110 106 81 21 4
1075 Rubbing the lamp constitutes sexual harassments. 1.2736 0.05283 106 82 19 5
1076 By rubbing the lamp you have consented to not hold the Genie liable for any Monkey’s Paw consequences of your wishes. 1.2736 0.05451 106 83 17 6
1077 Wishes? No, but I can present three opportunities for litigation. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
1078 Your wishes may be recorded for quality and training purposes. And snickers. 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
1079 You’re fired! 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
1080 But, of course, your third wish is withheld until you file your federal tax return. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
1081 Well, I can’t grant you any wishes, but I can tell you how to write that oil lamp off as an energy efficiency tax deduction. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
1082 Wishes? You mean quarterly projections.” 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
1083 Not every genie comes with a musical number! 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
1084 I know you expected something a little more exotic...but I didn't have time to change. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
1085 Not now, I'm in a meeting! 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
1086 You better wish the IRS doesn't audit your taxes. 1.2719 0.04871 114 87 23 4
1087 You have three wishes. Put them in the suggestion box. 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
1088 I'm the disturbing, unsettling, hectoring genie. Quit thinking about making wishes and get to work. 1.2719 0.04709 114 86 25 3
1089 « Nope. Rachel in HR is not single. » 1.2719 0.05328 114 90 17 7
1090 Political wishes are impossible. Don't even ask." 1.2718 0.05552 103 81 16 6
1091 It's actually pronounced "Cheney in a bottle" and yeah, I can grant you three wars. 1.2718 0.05378 103 80 18 5
1092 I didn't invent shrinkflation, Chad. Now do you want your two wishes or not? 1.2718 0.05552 103 81 16 6
1093 I know, I know. I wish Walter Cronkite was here, too. 1.2718 0.05012 103 78 22 3
1094 Exactly what the hell did you wish for? 1.2718 0.05198 103 79 20 4
1095 See, if you worked at home you would have missed out on this! 1.2718 0.05552 103 81 16 6
1096 Do you want all the money in the world in monthly installments or a tax deducted lump sum? 1.2718 0.05012 103 78 22 3
1097 Get serious, get a job, and stop rubbing old lamps to try to get ahead. Those are my three wishes! 1.2718 0.05552 103 81 16 6
1098 No, you are not getting a raise. Next wish? 1.2718 0.05552 103 81 16 6
1099 Thank you for choosing my lamp. Before we begin, I'm legally obligated to recite our terms and conditions... 1.2718 0.05552 103 81 16 6
1100 Johnson, I don't pay you to wish! 1.2718 0.05198 103 79 20 4
1101 Granting wishes is old school, I just give free tax advice. 1.2718 0.04616 103 76 26 1
1102 I can grant you 3 wishes but they can’t be to avoid death… or taxes. 1.2718 0.05885 103 83 12 8
1103 No, you must pay your taxes. 1.2712 0.04449 118 88 28 2
1104 I’ll grant you three wishes. Void where prohibited. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1105 I’m also bound by three laws: I cannot kill anyone, I cannot make people fall in love, and I cannot give you a 4 day work week. 1.2712 0.05337 118 94 16 8
1106 Three wishes, but I won't go anywhere near your income tax mess! 1.2710 0.04892 107 81 23 3
1107 I can grant you three extensions to file your taxes. 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
1108 Before you make your three wishes, do you acknowledge that you understand the disclaimer I just read to you? 1.2710 0.05069 107 82 21 4
1109 I grant you three ways to overturn an election! 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
1110 Before I grant you any wishes, I'll need you to sign a waiver. 1.2710 0.05566 107 85 15 7
1111 Ennnronn... Ennnronnn! 1.2710 0.05069 107 82 21 4
1112 I wasn't ready to impart endless wisdom 1.2710 0.05069 107 82 21 4
1113 I grant that you have three wishes, but corporate will have to approve them. 1.2705 0.04804 122 94 23 5
1114 Young man, genies now only give advice: work hard and be nice. 1.2705 0.04943 122 95 21 6
1115 Your three wishes will be granted after April 15th. 1.2705 0.04661 122 93 25 4
1116 Your wish is my command, provided you wish to work all weekend. 1.2703 0.05111 111 86 20 5
1117 Keep rubbing that thing, one day you'll wear it out. 1.2703 0.05111 111 86 20 5
1118 Before my client grants your three wishes, there's a liability waiver and release form you need to sign. 1.2703 0.05571 111 89 14 8
1119 Don't expect three wishes 1.2703 0.04948 111 85 22 4
1120 Now, what would you like for your third tax deduction 1.2703 0.05269 111 87 18 6
1121 We don't rub anymore. 1.2703 0.04948 111 85 22 4
1122 Did you know you can bundle your home and auto insurance? 1.2703 0.05111 111 86 20 5
1123 I don't know a good ending for your novel either! 1.2703 0.05111 111 86 20 5
1124 As a ChatGeniePT tax advisor, I must warn you that your filing may not be accurate but it will be wildly entertaining. 1.2703 0.05111 111 86 20 5
1125 I'm an estate lawyer genie. I am here to do your will. 1.2700 0.06006 100 81 11 8
1126 I shall grant you three wishes - excluding affordable health care, comfortable retirement, and higher taxes. 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
1127 Is it already tax season again? 1.2700 0.04894 100 75 23 2
1128 Cash, Securities, and Bonds it is! 1.2700 0.05096 100 76 21 3
1129 No, I can’t take Trump off the ticket no matter how hard I try. 1.2700 0.05660 100 79 15 6
1130 Your wish will be fully vested in three years 1.2700 0.05478 100 78 17 5
1131 Here's what I want you to do. 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
1132 Just remember that 1 of your 3 wishes will go to taxes. 1.2700 0.05660 100 79 15 6
1133 Dick Cheney: "It is no coincidence that I am coming out of an oil lamp" 1.2696 0.05429 115 92 15 8
1134 You are entitled to three wishes, which I will summarily deny. 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1135 My client "Genie " has hired me to be his attorney accusing you of inappropriate touching. 1.2696 0.05568 115 93 13 9
1136 You see! It pays to come back into the office. 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1137 The company is planned to match 100% of your wish, up to five percent 1.2692 0.05505 104 82 16 6
1138 This is you in 25 years and you can't wish it away. 1.2692 0.05834 104 84 12 8
1139 Finally! Someone drinks tea here instead of coffee. 1.2692 0.05333 104 81 18 5
1140 I can grant you three large tax deductions! 1.2692 0.05155 104 80 20 4
1141 Excuse me...it's Gene, not Genie. 1.2692 0.05155 104 80 20 4
1142 Rubbing the lamp indicated your acceptance of the terms of agreement, to be granted a number of whishes up to, but not exceeding, three, in the manner and place of my choosing. 1.2692 0.05992 104 85 10 9
1143 Don't blame me! It clearly says in the agreement that if you don't sign up for a two year contract you only get one wish. 1.2692 0.05333 104 81 18 5
1144 I'm the new owner, do you wish for Earl Grey, Jasmin Green or Darjeeling? 1.2692 0.04779 104 78 24 2
1145 No takesies-backsies. 1.2692 0.04970 104 79 22 3
1146 I'm the genie's attorney. Please tap the lamp twice to acknowledge the terms of service and the NDA to continue. 1.2692 0.05672 104 83 14 7
1147 I grant you three wishes and three appeals. 1.2692 0.05505 104 82 16 6
1148 I can only give you three insider trading tips unless you sign up for my market analyses service before midnight tonight. 1.2692 0.05505 104 82 16 6
1149 My friend, you've just opened the Mother of all cans of worms! 1.2692 0.05155 104 80 20 4
1150 I made you a Supreme Court justice. What more could you want? 1.2692 0.05333 104 81 18 5
1151 You were misinformed. You get three stern lectures instead. 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
1152 Due to inflation, you only get one wish and it cannot be for anything expensive. 1.2685 0.05675 108 87 13 8
1153 We eliminated the genie through a hostile takeover. 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
1154 We had to foreclose on Genie's dwelling! 1.2685 0.05520 108 86 15 7
1155 Before your wishes, let's circle back on that email I sent 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
1156 Now which primary would you like me to fix? 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1157 I can't grant your wish to live forever, but I can allow you live until Republicans pull their heads out of their asses 1.2679 0.05810 112 92 10 10
1158 A Raise?!? Maybe if you hadn't rubbed me the wrong way, Kevin. 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
1159 I grant you three wishes to put in the suggestion box for HR to review and discard. 1.2673 0.05245 101 78 19 4
1160 If you try to put me back in the lamp you’ll be facing years of litigation! 1.2673 0.05245 101 78 19 4
1161 Three, but you must first agree to the terms and conditions. 1.2673 0.05052 101 77 21 3
1162 Your wish is my deduction. 1.2673 0.05783 101 81 13 7
1163 I am the lawyer of the lamp. Because you have released me, I grant you three wishes, consistent with law and policy, to be exercised at a reasonable time and place, subject to the usual contingencies, no nullifying conditions thereafter occurring. 1.2673 0.05610 101 80 15 6
1164 You need to sign the waivers first. 1.2673 0.05052 101 77 21 3
1165 Yeah? Well, I wish you had kept your receipts. 1.2673 0.05610 101 80 15 6
1166 My name is Kark Rove. You are going to regret this. 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
1167 Actually, you only get the third wish. The first two are reserved for our shareholders. 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
1168 You can't call me "fairy" godfather anymore... 1.2667 0.05458 105 83 16 6
1169 Listen kid, if you want your three wishes, don’t be so violent. 1.2667 0.06092 105 87 8 10
1170 I do the Stock Exchange. There's enough fairy tales there! 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
1171 Before I grant your wishes, I’ll need you to sign here, here and here. 1.2667 0.04929 105 80 22 3
1172 That's "Cheney, not Genie!" 1.2667 0.04694 120 92 24 4
1173 But I can grant you three tax exemptions! 1.2667 0.05624 105 84 14 7
1174 I’m telling you one thing first. I’m never going back into that bottle! 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
1175 No salary raises, I can only grant pizza parties or virtual happy hours. 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
1176 Paying off the national debt! Finally,a wish that is un-grantable. 1.2667 0.04929 105 80 22 3
1177 Sorry, Chad. As office genie, I don't grant wishes. I make demands. 1.2667 0.05458 105 83 16 6
1178 I don't grant wishes these days . . . I just present them to the board. 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
1179 The Tax Man cometh. Your wish to hide from the IRS has been denied. Next? 1.2667 0.04740 105 79 24 2
1180 Long term compounded interest is real magic. 1.2667 0.04929 105 80 22 3
1181 Choose wisely. I can only grant you three extensions on your taxes. 1.2667 0.04929 105 80 22 3
1182 If anyone from HR asks, I’m going to tell them *you* rubbed me first. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
1183 You caught me at my side hustle. 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
1184 I'll grant you three wishes, but you first have to sign an NDA and agree to the terms & conditions 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
1185 No more wishes. I don't like you. 1.2661 0.04634 109 82 25 2
1186 And, finally, you can’t put me back in! 1.2661 0.04634 109 82 25 2
1187 My advice is 'put me back!' You might really need me next January! 1.2661 0.05777 109 89 11 9
1188 Vote for me, and all of your wishes will come true.,\ 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
1189 Nice try, but you still have to return to office 5 days a week. 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
1190 My lawyer will be in touch regarding your inappropriate fondling of my vessel. 1.2661 0.05628 109 88 13 8
1191 By activating the aforementioned three wishes, you are acknowledging that you have read and are bound by Genie, LLC’s terms and conditions. 1.2655 0.05482 113 91 14 8
1192 You did not expect your nicely dressed grandfather, did you, you little prick? 1.2655 0.05336 113 90 16 7
1193 Just don’t ask for a raise. 1.2653 0.05139 98 75 20 3
1194 Choose wisely. I'll grant you three stock options. 1.2653 0.05720 98 78 14 6
1195 In an effort to be fiscally responsible, we now only grant two wishes. 1.2653 0.05720 98 78 14 6
1196 I know you're thirsty, but allow me a moment to offer my company's heartfelt apologies. 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1197 Ahh, if it is riches you seek, let me tell about our managed 401K portfolio. 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1198 Don’t even think about putting me back in that thing! 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1199 Ah, with respect to granting your wish number one, there are known knowns, known unknowns, and unknown unknowns. 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1200 Who did you expect Barbra Eden? 1.2653 0.05720 98 78 14 6
1201 Although I'm not allowed to make the market go up or down, I can grant you three stock tips! 1.2647 0.05561 102 81 15 6
1202 I haven't been out of the bottle since election day 1952! Has anything changed 1.2647 0.04812 102 77 23 2
1203 You need to ask for consent before you rub my client. 1.2647 0.05561 102 81 15 6
1204 I will grant you three tax write offs. 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
1205 For your first wish, I grant you business meal deductions. 1.2647 0.04812 102 77 23 2
1206 Sorry, Genie's on break. I only cook the books. 1.2647 0.05383 102 80 17 5
1207 My name's not genie, it's Gene 1.2645 0.04660 121 93 24 4
1208 I can grant you one modest tax deduction. 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1209 Before you get the wishes, please turn off your AdBlocker and say, “Accept all cookies.” 1.2642 0.05735 106 86 12 8
1210 No wishes for you unless you adopt a business casual dress code 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1211 I am your worst nightmare. I am called a politician. 1.2642 0.05244 106 83 18 5
1212 I'm sorry, you're mistaken. I am Lawyer in a Bottle. I will grant you three hours of non-billable time. 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
1213 Three wishes? Don’t rub me the wrong way! 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1214 Pursuant to Title 6, Chapter 7, subsection 4.4, roman numeral X, clause four, your three aforementioned wishes are hereby conditional on their capacity to be executed within a span of one single calendar month, February leap years not included. 1.2642 0.05244 106 83 18 5
1215 Son, …what did I say about the right grip? 1.2642 0.05244 106 83 18 5
1216 I'm granting you three days to pack up your desk. 1.2642 0.05244 106 83 18 5
1217 Sorry, but you just wasted one wish. I’m the CEO.” 1.2642 0.05244 106 83 18 5
1218 You are aware that supernatural gains are now taxable? 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1219 Gene? What are you doing in here?! 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1220 I'm Bobby Eden now. 1.2642 0.04889 106 81 22 3
1221 Three for fourteen ninety five and that’s my last and final. 1.2636 0.05430 110 88 15 7
1222 Before I grant you three wishes, did George W win in 2000? 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
1223 You get three wishes! But non of them are tax-deductible. 1.2636 0.05582 110 89 13 8
1224 Make your wishes quick, kid. I I need to finish doing the sultan’s taxes and you won’t believe what he thinks is a deductible. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
1225 I will now grant you 3 hours of legal advice 1.2632 0.05294 114 91 16 7
1226 You may be entitled to compensation! 1.2632 0.04992 114 89 20 5
1227 I'm your New Conservative. I determine what you wish for. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1228 I am your cloud assistant Eugenie. 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1229 I’ve crunched the numbers and you actually owe me a wish. 1.2626 0.05847 99 80 12 7
1230 You have three regrets! 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1231 I wish that my Genie looks like Barbara Eden and not be Dick Cheney. 1.2626 0.04671 99 74 24 1
1232 As a genie and a politician I can only promise that I will grant your wishes. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1233 I can’t grant immortality, but I can keep you alive until People bestows the title Sexiest Man Alive on Karl Rove.” 1.2626 0.05847 99 80 12 7
1234 Haven’t heard that wish since my Enron days. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1235 With inflation today, your rub buys you only two wishes. 1.2626 0.04887 99 75 22 2
1236 You get three wishes, as long as your first wish is lower taxes. 1.2626 0.05094 99 76 20 3
1237 Initial where it states that you waive liability for unexpected consequences,that,except in California,wishes once made cannot be rescinded,and that all disputes are subject to binding arbitration. 1.2626 0.06021 99 81 10 8
1238 I am the genie who grants leveraged loans to subprime borrowers. 1.2626 0.05094 99 76 20 3
1239 I will grant you three terms as senator 1.2626 0.04887 99 75 22 2
1240 Three wishes, but don't ask me to recuse myself. 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1241 Try me again after April 15th 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1242 If it were up to me I’d grant you your wishes, but my legs are tied by corporate. 1.2626 0.05094 99 76 20 3
1243 Please see section c.2 line 10.1 of your onboarding manual for a policy breakdown regarding banking or using in lieu your three wishes. 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
1244 I grant you three pardons…Ugh, wrong lamp. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1245 The genius in the lamp. 1.2621 0.04772 103 78 23 2
1246 I can't grant your wish for a salary increase but I can offer you a new job title. 1.2621 0.05337 103 81 17 5
1247 And it turns out I can't rig elections. 1.2621 0.05337 103 81 17 5
1248 Just one word. Plastics. 1.2621 0.05682 103 83 13 7
1249 I can only grant you two wishes but they will be tax deductible. 1.2621 0.05155 103 80 19 4
1250 I grant you three wishes . . . But I cannot make Sandra in Accounting fall in love with you . . . and no wishes for more wishes, or for extra vacation days, or a promotion, or any nonsense like that. 1.2621 0.05337 103 81 17 5
1251 You have three wishes, but there will be tax consequences. 1.2621 0.05847 103 84 11 8
1252 I will grant you three-year term life insurance. 1.2621 0.05155 103 80 19 4
1253 I’m the genie’s lawyer. You’ll first need to sign three contracts. 1.2621 0.05682 103 83 13 7
1254 You rub me the right way,you are promoted! 1.2617 0.05200 107 84 18 5
1255 Yes, I'm Dick Cheney. I thought there was oil in the lamp. 1.2617 0.05367 107 85 16 6
1256 Let me guess - you wish you hadn't rubbed that lamp. 1.2617 0.05367 107 85 16 6
1257 John, we talked about this, you cant wish for unlimited PTO. 1.2617 0.05028 107 83 20 4
1258 YOU RUBBED ME THE WRONG WAY! 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1259 I am Supply Side Genie. I only grant wishes to the 1%. 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1260 Yes, extension, deductions...no, can't do refunds... 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1261 Your third wish will come in three to five business days. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1262 We've been meaning to reach you concerning your cars extended warranty 1.2613 0.05386 111 89 15 7
1263 No!! I cannot grant your wish for immunity from prosecution! NO ONE IS ABOVE THE LAW!! 1.2605 0.05265 119 96 15 8
1264 I must advise, all wishes require you to file a form 709 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1265 I'm like a balloon so don't let me go. DON'T let me go! Oh my god ... 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1266 Lower interest rates? Not a problem. As for sex you’re on your own. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1267 You’ve summoned the genie of tax law—I hereby grant you three deductions. 1.2604 0.05969 96 78 11 7
1268 I should forewarn you that my wishes are not FDIC insured. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1269 For 1,000 years I've been trying to tell you people. Tax the rich! 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
1270 I can grant your wish for three tax deductions. 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
1271 3 rules: I can't give you an increase, I can't take you out of the company-wide emails, and you can't wish for unlimited time off. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1272 It’s true, I never hugged you as a child, Winston, but I requested to come back as your Genie to make sure your wishes are restrained and responsible. 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
1273 Yes, three wishes - so long as they're in the shareholder's best interests. 1.2600 0.05794 100 81 12 7
1274 Let me tell you what happened to the last guy who tried to wish for 3 more wishes. 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1275 Put me back in! This is the wrong address! 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1276 I wish there was another choice in this election too! 1.2600 0.05617 100 80 14 6
1277 Son, you’re not supposed to rub an urn. 1.2600 0.05617 100 80 14 6
1278 First NDA, then genie. 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
1279 Yes, but this year's depreciation is limited to 20% . 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
1280 I will grant you three transactions. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1281 Before we proceed any further my client insists on an NDA. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1282 It's actually one wish, submitted in triplicate. 1.2600 0.04845 100 76 22 2
1283 I’m afraid it’s only two wishes after tax. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1284 Thanks George. I’ll take it from here. 1.2600 0.05794 100 81 12 7
1285 Do you have a minute to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1286 You wished for wealth, and for only $39.95 I can teach you to create your own wealth… 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
1287 A wish? Are you crazy? The paperwork alone will kill me. 1.2596 0.05633 104 84 13 7
1288 I'm AI 1.2596 0.05112 104 81 19 4
1289 The Late Capitalism genie is out of the bottle and here to make life on earth hell. 1.2596 0.05291 104 82 17 5
1290 Now, before I grant your wish, you just have to sign this waiver. 1.2596 0.05291 104 82 17 5
1291 It's 2024—rubbing my lamp without consent? Just wish I don't sue, and we're even. 1.2596 0.05112 104 81 19 4
1292 Your grant is wished! 1.2596 0.05291 104 82 17 5
1293 Aladdin retired years ago,but I can put you in touch with a full service broker. 1.2593 0.05323 108 86 16 6
1294 For the third time, my powers aren't strong enough to wish away your student debt. 1.2593 0.05483 108 87 14 7
1295 So after taxes, minus deductions and reimbursements it looks like you have exactly 0 wishes left 1.2593 0.05323 108 86 16 6
1296 We don’t do wishes anymore, but I can grant you three tax breaks. 1.2593 0.05323 108 86 16 6
1297 Magic? No. This is IP. 1.2589 0.04528 112 85 25 2
1298 I’m a tax genie, so don’t expect much. 1.2589 0.05190 112 89 17 6
1299 All wishes must be declared and itemized as capital gains. 1.2589 0.04871 112 87 21 4
1300 I want to talk to you about a really exciting opportunity 1.2589 0.05492 112 91 13 8
1301 I take a 3.5% annual commission for any wish, in perpetuity. 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
1302 I know I'm not what you had in mind... 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1303 So I can't grant you 3 wishes, but what I can grant you is years of schooling that culminates in 3 to 6 decades of soul-sucking labor that leaves you no better off at the end and only makes the guys on top richer! 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
1304 I am your "do the right thing" Genie 1.2577 0.04922 97 74 21 2
1305 Oh. I thought you said Gene. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
1306 If you save them, in a year you'll have 3.1872 wishes. 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1307 Your wish has been submitted. You will receive a response within 3-5 human lifetimes. 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1308 Sorry about the suit. Just returned from trying to reverse a few conspiracy theories in D.C. 1.2577 0.04922 97 74 21 2
1309 My client is prepared to offer one wish. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
1310 Corporate wishes only - nothing frivolous. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
1311 'Buy Low; Sell High' ... 'Be a Trend Setter, Not a Trend Follower' ... 'AI is Already Past its Prime'. Those are your three bits of good advice, and ... I'm out of here! 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
1312 I know; you'd think it would be all 'endless riches' and 'walking through walls," but you'd be surprised how much demand there is for accurate and affordable tax services. 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1313 Adios Mitch. 1.2577 0.06092 97 80 9 8
1314 Oh, thank god you let me out! I’ve been stuck in there since last April! 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1315 I've warned you time and again what happens when you rub me the wrong way! 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
1316 Sorry, but you just rubbed me the wrong way." Dan Schechter Los Alamitos, Calif 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
1317 My client will require a NDA of course ! 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
1318 And the third rule is I can't fix the U.S. Tax Code. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
1319 Your wish is my command! But first I'm going to need you to sign this non-disclosure agreement. 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
1320 I’m sorry but any wishes in regards to your benefits still need to be approved by HR. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
1321 No,none of that, just estate planning. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
1322 Have you read and accepted the Terms and Conditions of this User Agreement? 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
1323 I do consider myself a genie,yes. 1.2571 0.05246 105 83 17 5
1324 Get back to work, Earl 1.2571 0.05585 105 85 13 7
1325 Oh no, those wishes can only be redeemed with a Pepsi product 1.2571 0.05246 105 83 17 5
1326 I told you not to polish that teapot!! 1.2569 0.04772 109 84 22 3
1327 You cannot use the first wish to negate the tax implications of the second or third or any combination. 1.2566 0.04833 113 88 21 4
1328 As the genie's attorney, we first need to negotiate terms. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
1329 Your three investment wishes will be granted. 1.2553 0.05002 94 72 20 2
1330 Believe me, I'm everything you ever wished for in a clever tax attorney. 1.2553 0.05647 94 75 14 5
1331 No, but you do get 3 shares in my new off-shore account. 1.2553 0.05647 94 75 14 5
1332 Your wish is my command! I have correctly filled out three of your most aggravating tax forms. 1.2553 0.05647 94 75 14 5
1333 And furthermore, I want to impress upon you younsters that you can't just wish your way to success. 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
1334 So that will be one Djinn and tonic? 1.2553 0.05647 94 75 14 5
1335 Yes, three, but they each have to be about money. 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
1336 Surprise! 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
1337 Pls fix, thx 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
1338 Yes, the net worth of the lamp is taxable income! 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
1339 I'd sue that crematorium, son. 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
1340 One wish, but you fill out the form out in triplicate. 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
1341 John Lithgow! Is it really you? 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
1342 Help me, My capitalist greed backfired and now I must grant wishes for….others 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
1343 Listen, just because it's there doesn't mean you can rub it whenever you feel lonely. 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
1344 We're out of guns and money but fortunately I am an attorney 1.2549 0.05155 102 80 18 4
1345 You have three things that I want. 1.2549 0.05155 102 80 18 4
1346 Given how I appear, I'm guessing it's tax time. 1.2549 0.05340 102 81 16 5
1347 Just so you know, whatever you wish for is subject to federal, state and local taxes. 1.2547 0.04845 106 82 21 3
1348 Don't wish to be a genie! 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1349 But I Can offer you free electronic filing on your federal and up to two state returns. 1.2545 0.04555 110 84 24 2
1350 I can grant you three wishes—as long as you don’t mind some bureaucratic red tape. 1.2545 0.04907 110 86 20 4
1351 I am the Human Resources genie and you have rubbed me the wrong way 1.2544 0.05259 114 92 15 7
1352 Technically 2.3 wishes after state and federal. 1.2542 0.04990 118 94 18 6
1353 You are granted three wishes, however, be cautioned that I am unable to resurrect the deceased, induce love in another, or exempt you from your tax obligations. 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
1354 None of the wishes can be my job. 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
1355 You didn't read the small print - I am the Genius of Omaha 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
1356 Sorry, at most I can wipe away only seven-figure debt, and absolutely no post-dating. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
1357 You apparently didn't read in the fine print about the two-wish service fee. 1.2527 0.05970 91 74 11 6
1358 Stop daydreaming during work hours 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
1359 Well.....You did rub it with your middle finger. 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1360 I will grant you three corrections on this year's tax return. 1.2526 0.04956 95 73 20 2
1361 Okay,but after taxes,delinquent child support,gambling debt and the Geenie-coin crash you owe me $100! 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1362 Oh, we're often summoned to negotiate with the I.R.S. 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1363 I could grant you three wishes but I forget my password. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1364 There are certain restrictions. Article two, section eight says... 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1365 I’ll grant you the billion dollars, but no way you’re working from home. 1.2526 0.05980 95 78 10 7
1366 Do I LOOK like a genie? Why is everyone so presumptuous? And fyi - it’s not a lamp! 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1367 Thank you. Now to continue my filibuster... 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1368 Past performance is not a guarentee of future results. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1369 You've got just one left, so think of something other than office supplies. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1370 It's fair to warn you that I'm a little gassy. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1371 Three Knishes, that's it! 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1372 As the hired legal representative of the lamp's occupant, I'm requesting that you cease these ridiculous solicitations. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1373 …a non-exhaustive classification of “wish” is defined in §12.3(b), subject to local and national regulations… 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1374 Sorry affordable housing is not within my power to grant 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1375 Sorry, you’ve used up your working from home wishes. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1376 I'm the CPA in the lamp. Send me your receipts, and I'll give you 3 years of eligible deductions. 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1377 Continued remote working? Ahhh, no. Next wish? 1.2525 0.05624 99 80 13 6
1378 How about something juicier than wishing to meet your deductible?” 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1379 Yes I know three wishes. But the new tax law only allows for two deductions. 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1380 And if elected I will blah, blah, blah 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1381 Put me back in until after the election. 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
1382 Dick Geney here, you ain’t never had a friend like me. 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1383 Don't you understand? I've just offered you the controlling shares in Microsoft! What the hell are "Taylor Swift tickets"? 1.2524 0.05470 103 83 14 6
1384 You get three write offs. 1.2524 0.05470 103 83 14 6
1385 I told you already, I can’t fix the interest rates!” 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
1386 No, you can't wish for a raise. 1.2524 0.04921 103 80 20 3
1387 Sorry, you only get two wishes. We're downsizing. 1.2524 0.04921 103 80 20 3
1388 I went from Robin Williams to Will Smith to this? Rub again. 1.2524 0.05641 103 84 12 7
1389 You rubbed me the right way, and I’m here to rub you the wrong way. 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
1390 I am the polling genie, I can give you three predictions for the next election, none of which will turn out to be accurate. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1391 I'll have to talk to legal about that 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1392 You have three wishes,but you cannot ask for a raise. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
1393 Just so you know, my hourly rate for wishes goes up during tax season. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1394 You still get three wishes, but they’ll be taxed to the full extent of the law. 1.2500 0.05455 112 92 12 8
1395 Cheney in a bottle??!! I thought they said Genie in a bottle! 1.2500 0.05735 96 78 12 6
1396 Casual Fridays are over. 1.2500 0.05038 92 71 19 2
1397 I will grant you three pre-tax deductions! 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
1398 I specialize in white-collar career enhancement. 1.2500 0.04766 108 84 21 3
1399 Genie? I thought you said greedy! 1.2500 0.05130 96 75 18 3
1400 You can’t wish your way into winning the “Caption Contest.” 1.2500 0.06489 92 78 5 9
1401 Rub it again and maybe you' ll get Warren Buffett 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1402 Yeah, well you don’t look much like Larry Hagman. 1.2500 0.05573 100 81 13 6
1403 Money is the only valid wish 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
1404 I grant you three ineffectual Speakers of the House. 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
1405 Any three wishes except stocks, bonds, and large-cap index funds. 1.2500 0.04683 96 73 22 1
1406 Sorry, the Genie accepted our buy out, and wishes now cost $999,000 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1407 You have 3 pitches. 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
1408 One wish only. I've done the accounting and the other two are always wasted. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
1409 You’ve rubbed me the wrong way, Smedly. I get three demands! 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1410 First, we have to write up our contract. 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
1411 And in conclusion, all wishes are non returnable and non refundable, and Genie, Inc. can not and will not be held responsible for any dissatisfaction once granted. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
1412 You're supposed to buy me out. 1.2500 0.05130 96 75 18 3
1413 I must warn you that even though I am a genie, I can’t make your tax problems disappear. 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
1414 The genie is getting her hair done so she sent me! 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
1415 A raise, you wish! 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
1416 Let me get this straight, you are a genie and a Certified Public Accountant? 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
1417 Just one wish. That's my final offer. 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
1418 What the F#%k do you want? 1.2500 0.05038 92 71 19 2
1419 Yes, your AI document is artificial but not very intelligent. 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
1420 May I ask that your first wish be for me to get me my legs back? 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1421 It’s two wishes now...blame it on shrinkflation. 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
1422 I’m her brother, Gene. Genie’s off this week. 1.2500 0.04684 104 80 22 2
1423 I can only grant you an extension to file your taxes. You will still need to pay an estimate of what you owe by April 15th. 1.2500 0.04684 104 80 22 2
1424 Your wishes will be granted in 2-3 buisness weeks 1.2500 0.04766 108 84 21 3
1425 I’m a Cheney in a bottle, baby, you gotta rub me the right way. 1.2500 0.05030 116 93 17 6
1426 Sorry, I can’t give you a raise either 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
1427 I’d like to help you, but there are forms to fill out first. 1.2478 0.05111 113 91 16 6
1428 Behold! I grant you three provisos! 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1429 I have to warn you. You're running out of appeals. 1.2477 0.04544 109 84 23 2
1430 Sorry but I’m still working on Trump’s wish for a depression. 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
1431 I will grant you three speeches. 1.2475 0.04539 101 77 23 1
1432 I’m Businessman Genie, you’ll be glad to know your three wishes come with free shipping, an easy repayment plan, and a pretty good interest rate. 1.2475 0.05871 101 84 9 8
1433 I said Barbara Eden, not Joe Biden. 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
1434 You have three wishes: 1. Joe Biden 2. Donald Trump 3. Nikki Haley. You'd better get it right, Bubba! 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
1435 Sorry if you rub to the right you just get a Republican senator and three vetoes. 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
1436 Hello, we’ve been trying to reach you about your extended car warranty 1.2475 0.05700 101 83 11 7
1437 Wait! I was hiding in there! 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
1438 How many times have I told you that even I can’t stop the founding fathers from turning in their graves? 1.2474 0.05682 97 79 12 6
1439 I will grant you three appeals. 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
1440 Who taught you how to rub a lantern? 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
1441 You have three wishes now, but in 10 years at our 3.75% yearly returns you could have a lot more! 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
1442 Depending on your wishes, you may need a lawyer. 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
1443 I predict my daughter, Liz, - a moderate, ethical Republican (who knew) - will run for president in 2028. I predict myself as the experienced running mate (to counter that ethical/moderate malarkey). 1.2474 0.05682 97 79 12 6
1444 Instead of three wishes I can give you three hot stocks to buy. 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
1445 If elected, I'll grant you three wishes. 1.2474 0.05682 97 79 12 6
1446 And don’t even think about wishing for infinite audit protection. 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
1447 You’d also be upset if someone was blowing smoke up your butt. 1.2474 0.05868 97 80 10 7
1448 Speaking as the legal representative for Wish.com ‘Fuck you, no refunds’. 1.2474 0.06223 97 82 6 9
1449 'I cannot make someone fall in love, I cannot kill someone, and I cannot budge on your car loan interest rate.' 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1450 Don't let the IRS intimidate you. Go to supermoney.com for debt forgiveness consultation. 1.2473 0.04991 93 72 19 2
1451 You have reached the customer service portal at Blackrock . You have two more attempts to access your financial portfolio before it self destructs 1.2473 0.04991 93 72 19 2
1452 Two wishes and Trump President, zero interest rates and peace in the Middle East are out! 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1453 You're not going to ask for the ten inch pianist again, are you? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1454 I would advise against wishing to be a genie. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1455 Unfortunately Donald, immunity is not granted as your 3 wishes to be president, make Melania stay amd Stormy go away add up to 3. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1456 I'm afraid your three wishes are under appeal. 1.2473 0.05853 93 76 11 6
1457 Sorry, I’m a corporate genie, not residential 1.2473 0.04991 93 72 19 2
1458 Three wishes, but no death or taxes. 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
1459 Let's jus say, it was part of my plea deal... 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
1460 I am here to make sure you declare income from your three wishes. 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
1461 You do, indeed, have three wishes. But we could invest those in crypto and get a for-sure 3,000% turnaround. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
1462 My given name is "Gene," but in school they called me "Geni". 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
1463 The Genie’s busy … we’re renegotiating with Disney. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
1464 Wine and women is a go. But don't wish again for an additional sick day! 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
1465 Quickly-use your first wish to declassify these documents. 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
1466 Thank you for your work rubbing the lamp. The shareholders now get three wishes. 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
1467 You get 2.37 wishes — inflation accounted for. 1.2455 0.05196 110 89 15 6
1468 New genie rules. You must sign the three wish non-disclosure contract prior to proceeding. 1.2453 0.04798 106 83 20 3
1469 ...and if I'm elected I promise a genie in every kitchen 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
1470 You can’t mute the genie, Herb. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
1471 Just my luck that my genie resembles Dick Cheney and looks nothing like Barbara Eden! 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
1472 Any wish, but not Donald Trump. 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
1473 I am Gene, the accountant . I can grant you 3 tax deductions. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
1474 Son, I can explain . . . 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
1475 Due to recent budget cuts, I’ll only be able to grant you one wish… 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
1476 Yes! You have 3 wishes... but first let me read you the fine print 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
1477 You want all the states to turn what color? 1.2449 0.05439 98 79 14 5
1478 Can your friends go, ‘Abracadabra, let 'er rip!’ And then make the audit disappear? 1.2449 0.05629 98 80 12 6
1479 You have unleashed a promise which will never be kept. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
1480 I'm Ken Starr, and, no! I won't go back in the lamp! 1.2449 0.05439 98 79 14 5
1481 Even I can’t get you out of paying taxes. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
1482 🎵 I’m Dick Cheney in a bottle, you gotta rub me the right way! 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
1483 No! My name is Gene E. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
1484 My advice (for a fee, of course) is to put the consultants back in the lamp. 1.2447 0.04944 94 73 19 2
1485 I shall grant you three deductions. 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
1486 Thank you for freeing me from that awful filibuster. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
1487 Well, I'm the tax genie, so you still have to file Form 4868 to wish for an extension. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
1488 Yes, any three wishes you want, but there are some provisos, a couple of quid pro quos... 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
1489 I am just your father, Stop trying to make me something I am not. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
1490 Big cost, itty bitty living space. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
1491 'Have you ever thought of consolidating your wishes into one investment portfolio?' 1.2447 0.05796 94 77 11 6
1492 ...and then we'll present your first wish to the board for approval via majority vote based on net gain for the shareholders. If all goes well, by Q4 next fiscal we'll secure funding for R&D, at which point... 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
1493 Three wishes - sure! But no asking for political solutions! 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
1494 I’m here to inform you that the Genie business has been acquired by a hedge fund so going forward you only get 1.5 wishes and there are some fees. 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
1495 Before you can discuss your wishes with my client, you'll need to submit a liability waiver, hold harmless addendum, and confidentiality agreement. And they'll need to be notarized. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
1496 I'm from Legal. Company policy prohibits backdating that last wish. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
1497 I'm what you get when you use a teapot instead of a real genie lamp 1.2444 0.05765 90 73 12 5
1498 Hey, it worked! But, according to the instructions, now you're supposed to try and put me back in 1.2444 0.05074 90 70 18 2
1499 Remember these words, Gekko, trust is okay, but greed is better. 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
1500 Uhhh......this is not what it looks like. Aladdin and I go waaayyyy back. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
1501 I can promise you three tax breaks! 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
1502 And if you run for the open House seat, I'll give you way more than 3 lousy wishes. 1.2444 0.05765 90 73 12 5
1503 And further more, Jensen... 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
1504 Major Nelson got Jeannie and I get you?! 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
1505 Because of the blatant fiscal irresponsibility of prior genies, you will be receiving only two wishes. 1.2444 0.05074 90 70 18 2
1506 Your expenses are my command 1.2444 0.05765 90 73 12 5
1507 This was the only place I could afford after the divorce 1.2444 0.05978 90 74 10 6
1508 Budget cuts in the magic department led to some rather unconventional flight methods for the corporate wizards. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
1509 Do to our recent downturn you are granted only two wishes. 1.2427 0.05248 103 83 15 5
1510 We regret to inform you that due to financial hardship we have implemented a reduction-in-wishes. 1.2427 0.04871 103 81 19 3
1511 Dump the poetry. Investment banking is your future 1.2427 0.04672 103 80 21 2
1512 I will grant you three cliches. 1.2427 0.05766 103 86 9 8
1513 My name is Eugene, the Jinn’s lawyer, and he insists that all communications go through me. Now, paragraph one of clause 1 of the Binding Proceedings of the Right to Execute the Correctly Phrased Wishes… 1.2427 0.05426 103 84 13 6
1514 Unfortunately the genie you have beckoned is no longer employed with us as we focus on higher priority efforts. 1.2424 0.05759 99 82 10 7
1515 Thank you, youngster! For releasing the Cheney from the lamp, I will give you three more consecutive presidential terms of elderly white males! 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1516 You have three wishes. Pls check your email inbox to approve our terms and conditions. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1517 Gene Edwards, Accounting. The other one’s out on paternity leave after one wish…..never mind. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1518 Have you heard of the book of Mormon? 1.2424 0.05759 99 82 10 7
1519 "Thank you for setting me free! In return, I will give you three stock tips." 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
1520 taxes are worth at least two 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
1521 Fine,I'll approve the three wishes,but you'll have to pay a service tax. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
1522 Well no ... due to cost overruns, you get two. 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
1523 I don’t understand nonfungible tokens either and I am one. 1.2421 0.06119 95 80 7 8
1524 For the hundredth time today, I'm not calling you 'master,' I'm not exposing my navel, and the thing with the nose was 'Bewitched.''" 1.2418 0.06507 91 78 4 9
1525 I'll give you three wishes, but none of them can be that you want me back in the bottle. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
1526 Quit screwing with that lamp and get back to work! 1.2418 0.05918 91 75 10 6
1527 Ha! Once you deregulate Wall Street, you can't put the genie back in the bottle. Too on the nose for you, Biff? 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
1528 Before you can speak to your genie you must sign the user agreement, the privacy policy, and the liability waiver 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
1529 I can't get rid of Trump until this immunity thing is resolved! 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
1530 The genie has been downsized. I'm the consultant taking over his role. 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
1531 After taxes, you can make one wish by filling out form A2 - are you writing this down? 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
1532 Master, you have released me from my prison of 10,000 years and for that I grant you three wishes. Anything except higher taxes on the rich. 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
1533 I can only grant tax evation if you’re a billionaire 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
1534 This will cost you. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
1535 I’m your financial advisor, here to grant you three wishes that will not come to fruition. 1.2414 0.06325 87 73 7 7
1536 …and lastly, choose carefully. As this lamp was a purchase of your now ex wife, half of anything you may wish will be granted to her in perpetuity. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
1537 I'll grant you the best wishes, you won't even believe it 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
1538 Check your pants. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
1539 Due to increased overhead expenses, you only get two wishes. 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
1540 I'm the boss. My wish is your command. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
1541 I am the accountant of the lamp. Choose your 3 deductions. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
1542 Teapot genies’ powers have recently been acquired by our consolidated fantasy wish conglomerate. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
1543 Subsection 3(a) of the Terms and Conditions forbid you from wishing for any of the following: My job, my parking space, more vacation time, better pay, better hours, less stress, less work, dental coverage, a larger office, your accrued overtime... 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
1544 Should have started with that. In this economy, I don't do three anymore; just one. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
1545 Get with the times - TEXT ME! 1.2414 0.04895 87 67 19 1
1546 Do you have a minute to talk about Jehova's witnesses? 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
1547 I didn't say stop. 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
1548 I bet you weren't expecting Christina Aguilera's lawyer 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
1549 Congratulations! Before you say anything, I'm required to review the liability waiver with you. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
1550 That violates your wish agreement. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
1551 By rubbing this lamp you agree that I am not acting as a fiduciary. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
1552 Congratulations! But remember, your wishes will be taxed at a rate of 22%. 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
1553 Before I can grant you the obligatory 3 wishes, please fill out the 10 forms... 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
1554 I'm Genie's husband.Quit asking her for favors! 1.2400 0.05707 100 83 10 7
1555 If you hadn't polished that lamp, it would be worth at least one wish more. 1.2400 0.05707 100 83 10 7
1556 I grant you one insurance policy, one financial plan and one tax-deferred wish. 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
1557 I can grant you 3 comp days, but I need you to work this weekend. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1558 I grant you three, tax-free wishes 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1559 Damn you! I was having a delicious dinner with a gorgeous woman! 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1560 Yes 3 wishes, for improving your LinkedIn profile and one month free on Premium 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1561 I tricked you! I am not here for three wishes, I am here for three unpaid taxes 1.2396 0.04623 96 74 21 1
1562 You released me! Now you have to give me three wishes! 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1563 Son, please save your wishes for the election! 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1564 Pursuant to this contract the grantor is obligated to complete wishes in a timely manner, but not obligated to grant additional wishes or grant prohibited wishes (enumerated in article 7d). 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1565 I'm Beta testing putting the genie back in the bottle. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
1566 I can't tell you where the fortune is. That would be insider trading. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1567 I will grant you three tax breaks! 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
1568 ...but first the EULA. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
1569 Yeah, well I'm the genie's accountant and I say two wishes. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1570 Just remember, I’m an accountant not a magician 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1571 First things first. Before your three wishes are granted, we need to tackle these gift tax forms. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1572 Your monthly phone payment plan includes me, the repo man app! 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1573 To be fair, my parents were also hoping for a genie. 1.2386 0.05110 88 69 17 2
1574 I'm the real oracle of Omaha! 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
1575 If you keep your nose to the grindstone, invest wisely, and pay off your debts, your wish for retirement will come true in about 30 years. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
1576 What, wishes? No, I'll give you three tries to fill out your tax forms. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1577 Are you sure this is where you wish to be in five years? 1.2386 0.04847 88 68 19 1
1578 Genie was my mother. I’m Eugenie. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1579 You can make three wishes, but they will never come true 1.2386 0.05826 88 72 11 5
1580 The MyPillow guy told me that lantern is fake! 1.2386 0.05110 88 69 17 2
1581 Why did you let me out…I was happy in there 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1582 It’s against HR code of conduct to rub the lamp without consent. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
1583 try and be quick, the last wish I granted went sideways fast, and I'm due in court in like an hour. 1.2386 0.05110 88 69 17 2
1584 Three wishes? You're asking me, Boyo? I opted for wishes on Enron, Worldcom and AOL; and that's why I've been hiding out in this lamp for the last 20 years! 1.2381 0.05501 105 87 11 7
1585 Hmm...I must have rubbed him the wrong way. 1.2381 0.04594 105 82 21 2
1586 Please review our terms and conditions before making your wish." 1.2381 0.05332 105 86 13 6
1587 You may wish for three tax deductions. 1.2376 0.05477 101 83 12 6
1588 I can't grant wishes, but I can grant small business loans. 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
1589 Because you freed me from the lamp I will grant you a 3 hour extension on your report deadline. 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
1590 Even genies have terms of service. 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
1591 I told you, you can't wish for "less taxes." 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
1592 AI y'AI y'AI 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
1593 Keep dreaming. 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
1594 And forget that hogwash about ' your wish is my command'! 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1595 I grant you three weeks vacation 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1596 When I went into the lamp, if you weren't old, white, and wearing a tie, you weren't in any position to grant wishes. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1597 Sorry, kid. The bottom fell out of my investment portfolio. I only have one wish left." 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1598 Ok, boss, that's cool. But just so you know that's your wish, not mine... 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
1599 I advise that you don't. My third wish was for omnipotence, which is how I ended up in there. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1600 My wish is your command?" "Sure kid! Now pick up the voting card and tick the damned box'". 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
1601 I'll gladly grant any wish—except a job A.I. can do. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1602 Your wife filed for divorce. You have just been served. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1603 You’re still better off with the standard deduction this year. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1604 I invested in a tiny house scam. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1605 Before you say a word, I must warn you.... 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
1606 I grant you three extra electoral votes. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1607 No damn liberal wishes! 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
1608 I’m here to give you 3 immunity wishes 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
1609 4 day work week? Are you nuts? 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
1610 Watch for my feet. 1.2360 0.05984 89 74 9 6
1611 I can't make that wish happen, everyone wants them to go away! 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
1612 Maybe next time you’ll wish you hadn’t. 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
1613 I'd like to talk to you about your cars warranty. 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
1614 Why couldn't you have picked casual Friday? 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
1615 I said you had three wishes, not three wish lists! 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
1616 That’s, Assistant Regional Genie to you. 1.2353 0.04922 85 66 18 1
1617 Hi, I'm Gene E., CPA, and I'm authorized to grant you up to three deductions... 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
1618 I'm here from the Government to take away your 3 wishes!! 1.2353 0.05952 85 70 10 5
1619 Stop rubbing the tea pot and get back to work! 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
1620 Thanks for trying, but I still could use another leg and a couple of feet. 1.2353 0.06183 85 71 8 6
1621 Three wishes? That's in the past. There's been a takeover. Now we tell you what we will do. 1.2353 0.05952 85 70 10 5
1622 You're not the only one who wished to be in private equity. 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
1623 "I will grant you three pay cuts. 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
1624 To must read and sign the 20 page wish agreement 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
1625 Sorry, no raise or bonus this year 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
1626 Don’t stop until you see the soles of my shoes.” 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
1627 …now I will grant you three tax cuts. 1.2353 0.04922 85 66 18 1
1628 I have not misinterpreted your wishes, you just don't know what you want 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
1629 I said Genie in a bottle, not Cheney in a bottle. 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
1630 For the last time, I’m on vacation, Jerry! 1.2353 0.04922 85 66 18 1
1631 I'm adding a rider to your wish fully funding the NRA in perpetuity and if you don't agree, I'll filibuster your wishes by reading Lamentations in pig-latin until you beg for death 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
1632 Yes. I can grant you one more sick day. 1.2353 0.05952 85 70 10 5
1633 I'm your Gini coefficient. What's your statistical dispersion? 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
1634 That's 401k minus one wish left! 1.2353 0.04628 85 65 20 0
1635 For the last time, I'm not the accounting wizard. 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
1636 ‘Just circling back on your last wish’ 1.2353 0.05952 85 70 10 5
1637 First, the disclaimers. 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
1638 I’d love to make you rich, but you started contributing to your 401K 10 years too late. 1.2353 0.04922 85 66 18 1
1639 When you wanted a beautiful Genie, but all you got was your deceased Uncle Roger and his stories about Corporate America in the Reagan era. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1640 I am the tax wizard. You have to grant me three wishes 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1641 You get three memos,use them efficiently. 1.2347 0.05766 98 82 9 7
1642 I am not quite sure I like the way you rubbed the lamp. HR will be hearing about this. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1643 Actually, my name IS Gene, and here are three home warranty options. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
1644 Ground rules: I cannot affect free will, resurrect the dead or change income tax laws. 1.2340 0.05542 94 77 12 5
1645 You have been granted three stock options, so choose carefully. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
1646 If the president won’t cancel your student loan debt, neither will I 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
1647 Please submit your wish requests via inter-office memo 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
1648 Instead of granting three wishes, I recommend three bitcoin stocks. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1649 I wanted a genie, not Gene E. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1650 I came with AI. You'll never get us back in the bottle. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1651 I grant you three wishes, as long as they’re not a raise, remote work, or feelings of empowerment. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1652 I’m sorry, but the Board didn’t approve your wish. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1653 Before you meet the genie, sign these wish waivers that absolves him of the responsibility of your poor decisions. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1654 Sorry, no wishes. I’m actually an actuary that became trapped in a gravyboat 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1655 Sorry, I'm only Eugene from Accounting. 1.2333 0.04754 90 70 19 1
1656 I will grant you three wishes, but they can’t have anything to do with raises, your performance or new business ideas. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1657 I'm no Genie, boy, put that down and listen to me! 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1658 Due to demand pricing, you only get 2.75 wishes this time. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1659 Control alt delete 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
1660 No, you have to rub it counterclockwise. I'm his cousin, Gene. By the way, when's the last time you thought about your life insurance policy?" 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
1661 Hey, you’re not my masseuse!” 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
1662 I am Ken Starr, genie of Impeachment. This is my punishment for my lack of integrity. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
1663 You have the wrong lamp for Hot Babes. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
1664 You ain't never had a tax accountant like me. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
1665 I'm Gene and I'm going to tell you three things I want from you. 1.2326 0.05889 86 71 10 5
1666 Vote for me and I will grant you THIRTY wishes. 1.2326 0.06336 86 73 6 7
1667 In this economic climate, we’re only able to offer you two wishes. And please: it’s pronounced Gene. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
1668 Sign the waiver forms and submit your wish in writing, using proper punctuation and spelling. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
1669 Son! If you put me back in that lamp, I'm going to... 1.2326 0.05889 86 71 10 5
1670 Don’t push your luck. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
1671 Rubbed the wrong way, this lamp summons an IRS Agent. 1.2326 0.05889 86 71 10 5
1672 Berkshire Hathaway shares granted! 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
1673 I was perfectly comfortable in there! 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
1674 As your attorney, I'll grant you three wishes. But only after you've paid your retainer first. 1.2323 0.05529 99 82 11 6
1675 My name is Eugene! 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
1676 Just checking in to see if you've finished reading our Terms of Agreement 1.2323 0.05529 99 82 11 6
1677 You have been granted three tax deductions. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
1678 My advice is that you should ask for 4 wishes. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
1679 Your wish is my command. Your next president will be an old man. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
1680 I can't bring people back from the dead - it goes against our life insurance policy. 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
1681 You can have three wishes but they can’t exceed $100, including taxes. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
1682 You wished for a suitable companion? 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
1683 Dick chGenie at your command 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
1684 And you don't look like a Major in the Air Force........ 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
1685 No trust fund,no more loans. Get a job! 1.2316 0.05689 95 79 10 6
1686 I'll make letting me go tax deductible. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
1687 You have released me! You now have three torts. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
1688 No wishing for fewer wishes. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
1689 Here are your final exam answers for chemistry, physics and calculus. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
1690 Yes, Stewart, the company reserves the right to monitor your calls, emails, and wishes 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
1691 My firm, Smoake and Mears, is authorized to represent Eugene E. Laemp, hereinafter 'The Genie,' in this action. 1.2308 0.05863 91 76 9 6
1692 My command is your wish. 1.2308 0.05651 91 75 11 5
1693 You have three wishes, not including fees and expenses. 1.2308 0.05651 91 75 11 5
1694 First, I need you to sign a contract releasing my client of all liability for the inevitable horrible outcome of your poor choice of wishes. 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
1695 Any income generated by said wishes will not be considered tax deductible. 1.2308 0.04961 91 72 17 2
1696 All the lamp rubbing in the world, will not get Donald Duck 11,780 more votes. 1.2308 0.06068 91 77 7 7
1697 These wishes are not tax-deductible. 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
1698 Are you sure you want a new car, it’ll depreciate 20% as soon as it appears out of the cloud of smoke 1.2308 0.05863 91 76 9 6
1699 Three wishes you are granted, but I strongly advise you reserve them all to cover my retainer and fee. 1.2300 0.04683 100 79 19 2
1700 I’ll give you three days to get back to the office! 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
1701 Oh fuck. OH FUCK! 1.2300 0.05835 100 85 7 8
1702 Before I grant you a wish, where is the restroom? 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
1703 He's on PTO 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
1704 Where's my magic carpet? 1.2299 0.04823 87 68 18 1
1705 Gene is out of the bottle…. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
1706 That’s right, I’m THE Karl Rove. Let’s talk about The Southern Strategy. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
1707 Genie Shmeenie- now put down that lamp and get back to work! 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
1708 I am the Gini Coefficient. I will grant you three statistical probabilities. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
1709 First, you must get your wishes notarized. Then, that form must be witnessed by another genie. Finally, you must file your wishes with the Bureau of Magic Lanterns before the 15th of the month. 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
1710 You get 3 codicils. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
1711 As per legal counsel, a quick seamstress fulfills your wish for Taylor Swift. 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
1712 It's you? From the mailroom?? Why did you have to rub it?? 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
1713 Dunbar, you're fired! 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
1714 Your wish is my suggestion. 1.2299 0.04823 87 68 18 1
1715 I grant you three lawyer jokes, but only three. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
1716 Any and all life changing wishes, hopes, and dreams are subject to approval and can be revoked at any time. 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
1717 For legal reason I’m here to inform you that wishing for more wishes is strictly prohibited 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
1718 CAN'T IT WAIT UNTILL TOMORROW? I'M IN AN IMPORTANT BOARD MEETING. 1.2292 0.05437 96 79 12 5
1719 Ok, you can have my approval. 1.2292 0.04794 96 76 18 2
1720 Thank you sir,Tax Time is scary in there! 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
1721 What? I may be a jinn, but I am not Warren Buffett. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
1722 No, you can’t wish that Trump was president again! That’s a death wish… They don’t count! 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
1723 You need power of attorney? 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
1724 Don't forget that wishes are not tax exempt 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
1725 I will grant you three deductions or tax credits, you may choose, but only three in total, and only if you file form 1040, and you must file form 1099-Misc along with appropriate receipts . . . 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
1726 I recommend that you use your second and third wishes to minimize the federal and state income tax liabilities of your first wish. 1.2289 0.06258 83 70 7 6
1727 Sorry, but we are unable to grant wishes for health insurance. 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
1728 To be clear, I can only grant you one shady tax write-off. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
1729 I am sorry sir, I only able to grant legal wishes to billionaires 1.2289 0.06018 83 69 9 5
1730 Stay in school! 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
1731 'I' before 'E' except after 'C' and sometimes... 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
1732 No wishes for killing people, making people fall in love with you, or bringing functional government back from the dead 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
1733 ... and for freeing me, I grant you three pro bono litigations. 1.2283 0.05804 92 77 9 6
1734 Has the world ended? 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1735 You get to make 3 investment wishes, 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1736 The lamp won't help you this year 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1737 For the Schedule C (Form 1040) you’ll need to make a second wish. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1738 I can just tell you if the wish qualifies as a standard business deduction. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1739 You've got three minutes to finish that report. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1740 Forget about it -- no one can figure out IRS tax forms 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1741 So I’m guessing your parents never gave you the talk? 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1742 Trust me, I'm better than the billboard lawyer. 1.2277 0.05428 101 84 11 6
1743 Sorry, but I have to pre-advise that the pending IRS audit is off limits. 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
1744 No time for wishes get back to work! 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
1745 The wishes are free, but you still need to pay my hourly fee. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
1746 Your words, not mine; you said make me a billionaire. 1.2273 0.05766 88 73 10 5
1747 Or instead, how about a nice pair of bootstraps? 1.2273 0.04775 88 69 18 1
1748 You rub me the wrong way! Curse your generation! 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
1749 Greetings! Welcome to our new and exciting AI experience! 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
1750 Okay, okay. 3.4% for a 30-year fixed. 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
1751 I'm the MAGA upgrade. No magical Arabs for us! 1.2273 0.05766 88 73 10 5
1752 I'm The Personal Injury Genie...Sue three litigants of your choosing." 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
1753 Like I said last night I’m not going anywhere. Now go clean your room. 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
1754 It’s rent controlled. I’m not moving! 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
1755 Your three wishes have been merged into one. 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
1756 I distinctly heard you say Gene not Genie! 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
1757 You just rubbed the IRS lamp . 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
1758 You continue to shake that, Sonny, and you'll wind up with a load of something you're definitely not wishing for. 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
1759 So this is how they watch us working from home! 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
1760 Yes, that is correct…3-5 business days upon wishing 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
1761 Any wishes completed without forms 334G, 895Q, and 747X will result in you taking over my damned job. 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
1762 Wishes? I prefer to call them 'stakeholder deliverables.' 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
1763 I get to make a wish this time, 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1764 I’m only here for a short time. Unless I’m an illusion. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1765 If you run my lamp again, I’m reporting you to HR. 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
1766 Time to make your tax return great again ! 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1767 I promise if I win you will get your genie back and 3 wishes 1.2262 0.04895 84 66 17 1
1768 So...you're friends with the genie in the bottle, right? 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1769 I can't do that, but how about a new title? 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1770 You ain't never had an accountant like me! 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
1771 That's two wishes, net of gift tax. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1772 Our genie Union voted to abandon the blue skin, haram pants and red sash when Constantinople became Istanbul and Persia became Iran. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1773 ‘Form new company’ and ‘make you CEO’ are both doable, but I’m afraid that domain name is already taken, Mr. Baba. 1.2262 0.05952 84 70 9 5
1774 the genie that comes out when you run the bottle the wrong way. #christinaaguilera 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1775 ‘Sorry. I can’t convert your 401k to a Roth without a penalty.’ 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
1776 You have three wishes and I need them on my desk by noon! 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
1777 I'm sorry, the new SEC rules no longer allow me to grant wishes or provide advice. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1778 Were you expecting Earl Grey? 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
1779 You get 2.73 wishes - less a modest relamping charge. 1.2262 0.04895 84 66 17 1
1780 Burke mistakenly rubbed it at work, which made HR magically appear. 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
1781 … and should three wishes be granted, grantee agrees to unlimited advertisements in his youtube viewing . 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
1782 I can give you riches, but how about a few good stock tips instead? 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
1783 Not my cup of tea! 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
1784 I sure hope you wished for more taxes. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
1785 Your wish for a tax loss carryforward is granted! 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
1786 Thank you for rubbing the March lamp. I am Gene E., here to grant you three tax loopholes. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
1787 Please leave my wife alone 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
1788 I can grant any wish, as long as it's deductable. 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
1789 I give you three deductions. Use them wisely 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
1790 I haven't been rubbed like that since 1976. 1.2255 0.05380 102 85 11 6
1791 Well, after bank fees and my commission, it's more like 2.47 wishes. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
1792 May I interest you in a brief voting survey?! 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
1793 Congratulations. You paid the premium. I’m the stock tip genie at your service. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
1794 That wasn't Earl Grey you drank. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
1795 Do you want that in Bitcoin? 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
1796 ……..and in conclusion! 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
1797 I grant you any three tax loopholes usually reserved for billionaires. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
1798 And for your third deduction? 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
1799 Enough already with the crabby white guys in suits. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
1800 On behalf of my client, 'infinite wishes' is completely outside the confines of the lamp contract. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
1801 Only three this year 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
1802 Sorry kid, your wishes trickled down to someone else. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
1803 I know what you're thinking, 'Is that a Dick Genie?' 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
1804 Unfortunately, all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under current tax laws 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
1805 I will grant you three wishes. No, instant knowledge of Excel is not included. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
1806 I'm covering for Bob. He was suspended for wearing blueface. 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
1807 …and next year you’ll get a 1099-WISH. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
1808 This motherfucker 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
1809 I represent the Genie and will be filing suit against you and the lamp maker… 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
1810 Submit your three wishes on those sheets, using the provided format, and have them back to me by 5 p.m. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
1811 As the CEO of the Lamp, I can grant you only three stock options. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
1812 You cannot wish for more tax exemption laws. 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
1813 Your wish is important to us and will be taken into consideration 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
1814 What’s a “Wish Credit?” Rather than granting your wishes, our firm will invest an equivalent monetary value in an organization researching wish technology. 1.2247 0.05926 89 75 8 6
1815 I wished to make partner, but forgot to say partner of what. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
1816 You can wish for anything except for help with your tax return 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
1817 All wishes must increase shareholder value 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
1818 I said genie not genius! 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
1819 I am the lawyer of the lamp — before I grant you any wishes you must sign an indemnity waiver holding me harmless for any unexpected disasters that befall you... 1.2245 0.05716 98 83 8 7
1820 I'll grant you three wishes that the Founding Fathers might have made. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
1821 You were supposed to say "Open Sesame," not "Open sez me!" 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
1822 I don't grant wishes. I wish for grants. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
1823 I'm Russ. Turns out Genie can grant her own wishes too. 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
1824 We can take different forms,Burnie! 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
1825 I promised a younger presidential nominee if you rubbed the lamp. 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
1826 Fred, we up scaled the operation. We're offering more features but it will cost you. 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
1827 Before I grant your wish, I need to remind you that is not tax-deductible. 1.2235 0.05888 85 71 9 5
1828 Due to shrinkflation,you get one wish with interest payments. 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
1829 My dog ate your homework, too 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
1830 You'll get your three wishes when you get me the quarterlies. 1.2235 0.04844 85 67 17 1
1831 Yeah, and I wish I were out of THIS hellhole. Now back to work! 1.2235 0.05888 85 71 9 5
1832 After the third question, my standard billing rates will apply" 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
1833 Old, bald,wealthy men will rule the world forever, grasshopper! 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
1834 Wishes are lies so who better to be a Genie than a politician! 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
1835 Can’t wish your way out of this one. 1.2234 0.05486 94 78 11 5
1836 I can get rid of 3 indictments for you 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
1837 I hereby grant you three votes in the next election. 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
1838 Come up with three more, and this time make sure they would increase shareholder value. 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
1839 Left click, stupid! You rubbed the wrong way! Left side rub gets you the genie; right rub gets me the accounts department! 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
1840 The Adulthood Genie will grant you three boring wishes. 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
1841 Sorry, but you’ll need to pay tax on those wishes. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
1842 You have two more tries before this lamp is blocked forever. 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
1843 Who did you expect? Taylor Swift! 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
1844 HR wants to see you...NOW! 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
1845 Do your own taxes! I'm done here. 1.2222 0.04969 81 64 16 1
1846 Boy, you just rub me the wrong way. 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
1847 Your next wish better be to give me LEGS! 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
1848 You rubbed me the wrong way, Dillard. You're fired. 1.2222 0.05865 90 76 8 6
1849 OK. You win. You didn't overpay for the lamp. Now get me and your mother the hell out of here. 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
1850 I will grant you... three extra days of paternity leave! 1.2222 0.04969 81 64 16 1
1851 How about we try it in front of a very conservative law firm. 1.2222 0.06086 81 68 8 5
1852 Did you say Cairo or Karl Rove 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
1853 You rubbed me the wrong way. You're fired! 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
1854 I have filed chapter 11 and your wishes are currently pending 1.2222 0.04969 81 64 16 1
1855 My client claims you violated the No Neti Pot clause. 1.2222 0.06086 81 68 8 5
1856 Due to budget cuts, you’ll only be allotted one wish this year. 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
1857 The past performance of an investment genie, market, financial product, genie strategy or individual wish does not guarantee any future results or returns. As your genie, you yourself bear the full responsibility of your wishes. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
1858 For god’s sakes, Jones, I’ve told you a hundred times – just text me the next time you want a meeting.” 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
1859 I object to your wasting a wish on liking cilantro. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1860 I hear I’m about to be replaced by someone more omnipotent called ChatGPT? 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
1861 No, I cannot do your taxes! 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
1862 Vote for me and I'll set you free. 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
1863 You were warned not to rub it! 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
1864 I was expecting a genie, not a Cheney. Either way, I don't think you're the one who can help us. 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
1865 He who rubs the lamp is hereby assigned three menial tasks of my choosing… 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
1866 …and no wishing for more deductions. 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
1867 Let me guess, you tried filing your taxes by yourself? 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
1868 As Joe rubbed the lamp, and therefore, I, the genie, have emerged from said lamp, three, and no more than three wishes shall be granted to Joe, and only Joe. And Joe may not assign his rights hereunder without my prior written consent. And ... . 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
1869 No, you can't wish for three more Continuing Resolutions. 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
1870 Riches be damned! How about a simple pair of lanterns that don’t pinch my feet!? 1.2211 0.04534 95 75 19 1
1871 You've reached Gene E. Lamposki. Your wish must be submitted as a work order, in triplicate... 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
1872 Three wishes: less taxes on the rich, less regulation and may the trickle down only trickle! 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
1873 There's a cancellation fee if you don't use all three wishes. 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
1874 Oh,no! Not you again! 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
1875 .....no, I'm the Gene of the lamp. I don't grant wishes, but I can answer 3 questions about your taxes. 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
1876 Even I can't make trickle down economics work. 1.2209 0.05825 86 72 9 5
1877 Phenomenal deductions and depreciations! Itty-bitty living space. 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
1878 Wishes now come with terms and conditions. 1.2209 0.04794 86 68 17 1
1879 Just know this young man; that everything you will wish for was easily attainable for me on an entry-level salary 1.2209 0.05825 86 72 9 5
1880 Congratulations! Your wishes are the most devious violations of tax code the IRS has ever seen! 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
1881 I will grant you three wishes, except working from home. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
1882 It may not sound like much of a wish, but annuities could be a good choice for you and your family. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
1883 I'll do better than wishes. How about three judgments? 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
1884 I still can't override filibusters 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
1885 Since your country is becoming a white Christian nationalist nation, Aladdin would not come and sent me instead 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
1886 Try again, this summons only gets you a day in court. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
1887 With inflation, you just get one wish, so make it a good one. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
1888 I will grant you three taxable wishes. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
1889 Where do I get a good cup of coffee? 1.2195 0.04599 82 64 18 0
1890 Before granting any wishes, there are some documents that require your signature. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
1891 As a reward, I will grant you three earmarks. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
1892 Neither of us wanted this. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
1893 Buy gold! 1.2195 0.04916 82 65 16 1
1894 I need to go back. I forgot my blue jeans. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
1895 Article 1 Section 1 clearly states: Thou shalt not wȳsċa for more wishes. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
1896 If you could just draw up a detailed budget for your wish request, I'll get right on it. 1.2195 0.04916 82 65 16 1
1897 I may be a genie but I'm also your congressman, so I'll be taking those three wishes. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
1898 and if elected I promise . . . 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
1899 For God's sake! Listen to my daughter, Liz!! 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
1900 I'll grant my one wish! 1.2195 0.04916 82 65 16 1
1901 Hi, I'm Gene. And the small print says you owe ME a wish. 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
1902 Have you been unjustly denied your wishes in the past? You may be eligible for compensation! 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
1903 For summoning the J.D. of the lamp, you shall be granted legal consultations three. 1.2195 0.04916 82 65 16 1
1904 After credits and deductions, I can grant you 2.36 wishes. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
1905 I will grant you one deduction, one carryforward, and/or one step-up in basis. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
1906 And now you receive ....three qualified deductions. 1.2195 0.04916 82 65 16 1
1907 I was expecting genie in a bottle,not Gene from Legal. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
1908 10,000 years trapped in a lamp, but it still beats being stuck in meetings. 1.2195 0.06017 82 69 8 5
1909 Our people will get in touch of your people. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
1910 Embarrassing to ask, sonny, but could YOU help ME save this to pdf? 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
1911 I’m afraid it is beyond my powers to make Madeline in finance fall in love with you. But I can get her to almost smile once when you walk by. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
1912 This is what happens when you use AI 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
1913 I can grant you three wishes or shares in the company. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
1914 Cut that out! You just rubbed me up the wrong way! 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
1915 I just like the stock, it won’t count as one of your wishes. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
1916 Wishes? I’m afraid you have been misinformed. My name is Gene E, from accounting. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
1917 Your wish is my command... as long as it's in the budget. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
1918 I told you a thousand times wishing will get you nowhere! 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
1919 The genie is actually out on PTO. 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
1920 Even with all of my power, it's impossible for me to reverse the return to office policy. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
1921 I’m a meanie in a bottle, gotta rub me the white way. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
1922 It is I, Regional Bank Genie, and your bailout is my command. 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
1923 I’m not a GENIE my name is Johnnie and I work for the IRS and I’m here to talk about your overdue taxes 1.2179 0.06228 78 66 7 5
1924 I’m your bank branch manager genie. You have three wishes, all of which I will deny. 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
1925 I have three criticisms of you 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
1926 Mark my words, beware of Trump, I know I use to work for him. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
1927 I'm flammable, and therefore great for gaslighting. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
1928 You’ll just have to run those wishes by your manager for written consent, plus ensure that no one on your team has made any conflicting wishes, and check with HR that they don’t go against the company’s employee wish policies. 1.2179 0.06228 78 66 7 5
1929 NO!!! Trump was never within my power. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
1930 You know the drill: you get three tax breaks. Use them wisely. 1.2179 0.04705 78 61 17 0
1931 Fine. I will give you three. But, the first is that you name me CEO of our company, for life. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
1932 Your deduction is my command! Provided you have your receipts. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
1933 I told you cryptocurrency was a scam! 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
1934 Paid time off? Certain things are off-limits. 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
1935 Those three wishes will, of course, come out of holiday pay. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
1936 please look me in the eye while you rub my lamp 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
1937 You'll get 3 wishes...and none of them can be a raise. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
1938 A wish? I wish crypto was based on reality. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
1939 You get three wishes that fall within company policy. 1.2174 0.04592 92 73 18 1
1940 I only grant a wish if it helps Trump. 1.2174 0.05535 92 77 10 5
1941 I'm filling in for Gene today. Whaddya want? 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
1942 You have three deductions. And you cannot use one of the deductions to ask for more deductions. 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
1943 The last guy wished me to be his sales rep; so now, I can only grant you widgets. 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
1944 I thought this would grant me wishes! Not get me in trouble! 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
1945 You rubbed both left and tight. That is an undefined movement and you have forfeited a wish. 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
1946 I can't promise you anything beyond this November. 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
1947 this is why you shouldn't go drinking with your boss. 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
1948 You always did rub me the wrong way, Parker. No wishes for you! 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
1949 I had no idea this was what they meant when they offered me a retainer. 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
1950 You can’t wish for more tax cuts 1.2169 0.05950 83 70 8 5
1951 Keep in mind, you’re still gonna have to pay taxes on those three wishes 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
1952 ...but don't wish for a lower interest rate. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
1953 One rub is sufficient! It’s not an elevator. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
1954 I will grant you three contingencies. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1955 I told you to get out of dividend funds! 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1956 My client's final offer is two wishes. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
1957 I will grant you three market based wishes! 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1958 Weren’t we dressed differently the last time! 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
1959 I can grant you three wishes,but none of them can be a reduction in interest rates. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1960 I will grant you three wishes,but first there are certain stipulations and warranties that we must reduce to writing. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1961 I 'll grant you three wishes but my name is Bob! Never ever call me Jeanie! 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1962 I owe you 3 wishes but will put a third in escrow for a prerelease." 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1963 Finally! We've got a presidential campaign to win!! 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1964 Oh no! It’s grandpa Cheney! 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1965 I need to get back inside and grab my shoes, socks, and legs. 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
1966 I grant you three billable hours. 1.2152 0.05885 79 66 9 4
1967 Let's put a pin in that wish and circle back after your performance review. 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
1968 Oh nooooo!! I went in there to escape all this political crap! 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
1969 By my count, you owe a mansion and half a harem in back wishes. 1.2152 0.04653 79 62 17 0
1970 I'm the Chief Wish Officer. My wish will be your command" 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
1971 I grant you triplicate wishes. 1.2152 0.05885 79 66 9 4
1972 We’re now commissioned salespeople. 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
1973 Would you like to know the after tax value of your wish? 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
1974 You Didn't Read The Terms And Conditions! 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
1975 I bet you didn't expect a Gene in the bottle. 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
1976 You get three wishes, but one of them can't be about avoiding downsizing. 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
1977 Trust me, this is the only way I can keep my chair in Congress. 1.2152 0.06413 79 68 5 6
1978 We don't all get what we wish for do we.... 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
1979 I am announcing my candidature for President in 2024 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
1980 I will grant you three to five wishes depending on the supply chain. 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
1981 No! Inflation does not mean five wishes! 1.2151 0.05690 93 79 8 6
1982 Yes, you get three. But we have to specialize, and your wishes are outside my area of expertise. 1.2151 0.04548 93 74 18 1
1983 Only after paying interest and penalties on taxes owed can you gain access to your three wishes. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
1984 The Fed offers you three, limited-time, non-renewable wishes that conform to existing monetary policy." 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
1985 Oh, I thought you asked for a weeny. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
1986 You get three wishes, but the company owns all the intellectual property. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
1987 I'm telling you, there are definitely weapons of mass destruction somewhere in Iraq! 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
1988 I hope you like pizza parties 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
1989 Maybe my wish for a great performance review will come true! 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
1990 All wishes are on back-order while we are in Chapter 7 status. Please fill out a form... 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
1991 I will grant you three threats to your country's democracy. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
1992 You probably assume I'm going to make a banal statement about carefully accounting for your wishes. But, no. I just wanted to say that your mother and I love you, and we are looking forward to your visit this weekend." 1.2143 0.05885 84 71 8 5
1993 ...but I can make policy! 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
1994 I am the genie of the 2024 election. You’ve wasted two wishes, so this is your last chance. 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
1995 I am the Magic Accountant Genie. You may have three deductions you would not ordinarily get. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
1996 Omg! Finally! Jeannie's had me trapped in here since 1952! 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
1997 Maybe if you wished for more work or a salary freeze, but a ‘decent laptop’, forget about it. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
1998 Thank you! I've been looking forward to dressing up again and not working from home. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
1999 Don't ask which PARTY 1.2135 0.05412 89 74 11 4
2000 Dick Cheney? 1.2135 0.04651 89 71 17 1
2001 Sorry, by clicking on accept you agreed to no financial benefits from wishes made with this software 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
2002 Glengarry Glen Genie 1.2135 0.04651 89 71 17 1
2003 the magic word is ...It's rigged 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
2004 You get three wishes, but they have to be billable. 1.2135 0.04651 89 71 17 1
2005 No, no. Please don't ask me any damned questions. Do you have any openings here? 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
2006 For your first wish, not only I'm a Lawyer, I also work pro bono. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2007 Before you speak with the genie, there some legal disclosures and documents you'll need to sign. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
2008 I need to run the other two wishes by Media and HR, and then I'll try to get the Board to sign off. I'll circle back to you next week. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2009 You have three wishes, allegedly. 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
2010 I’m here to grant you 401k wishes. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2011 Owing to the inflationary environment, you get four wishes. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2012 Three? Well, more like two or less. What with taxes, deductions and of course, my fee. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
2013 Nothing doing until you sign the N.D.A. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2014 Did I break the filibuster record? 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
2015 I'm closed every holiday imaginable and I close everyday at 3:00. 1.2133 0.06379 75 64 6 5
2016 You just need to work harder. 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
2017 No, you don't get it. I'm Gene E. of the Lamp law firm. I can only take your wishes away. 1.2125 0.06083 80 68 7 5
2018 It's tax season, knucklehead. 1.2125 0.04602 80 63 17 0
2019 I represent the Genie and first you’ll need to sign a few unintelligible legal documents. 1.2125 0.04934 80 64 15 1
2020 So none of your wishes involve world peace? 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
2021 I'll grant you the power to transform three meetings into three emails. 1.2125 0.06083 80 68 7 5
2022 I’ve come to offer you three exceptions from standard accounting practices! 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
2023 ... but these three personal days will vanish if not used by the end of the year. 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
2024 Wish me some pupils 1.2125 0.06083 80 68 7 5
2025 Well, you should have been more clear when you said you wish to see your future. 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
2026 Now you want to be rich? After I told you to buy BTC at $300?? 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
2027 I can provide you three end-of-the-year tax tips... 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2028 I was hoping we could perhaps renegotiate my retainer 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2029 I'll grant you three wishes. But first, sign this NDA! 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2030 I’ll sell you three wishes. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2031 Yes, you can wish for anything, but death and taxes are off the table 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2032 I am the Genie’s lawyer. I have some disclosures for you to sign before you get your three wishes 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2033 You have one wish. Sadly it needs to be in terms of taxes as I am not a genie. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2034 By continuing to use genie services, you are agreeing to the EULA and NDA which I have provided. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2035 I will grant you 3 investment tips. 1.2118 0.04458 85 67 18 0
2036 1. No, I will not give you a raise. 2. No, I will not give you a raise. 3. No, I will not give you a raise. 1.2118 0.05820 85 72 8 5
2037 Sexual harassment you’re fired 1.2118 0.04458 85 67 18 0
2038 There's no chance. No one gets a fourth sick day. 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
2039 The name’s Jeffrey Toobin! Keep rubbing. 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
2040 You're in my parking space 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
2041 Maybe all this time, I was supposed to pour out of a teapot. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
2042 No, it's Gene! 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
2043 Have I got a proposition for you!" 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
2044 You get three tax deductions. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
2045 Sure I could tell you but the SEC will be onto you in a second. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2046 If you had in fact wished for a 'torte' then I would not be here 1.2105 0.04708 76 60 16 0
2047 IRS perversion of a classic: “I’ll add in’s Lamp” 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
2048 I didn’t wish for Dick Cheney! 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
2049 Before Genie comes out to grant your wish, I’ll need you to sign this NDA. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
2050 It's about time in the lamp. 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
2051 Fine. You can have three wishes, but only one of them can be for paid vacation. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
2052 Put in some elbow grease and I might allow you one wish. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
2053 Keep rubbing. I still have more papers. 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
2054 I now grant you one wish, in triplicate. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
2055 And no wishes for a twelve-inch pianist. 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
2056 Who cares how small it is? It's rent-controlled! 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
2057 The “Politician Genie” wherein they offer three empty promises. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
2058 Hello! You qualify for our Student Loan Forgiveness program… 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
2059 The last guy put me here because I was really good at finding loopholes 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
2060 As your reward you may submit three wishes which I shall refer to the board and our outside council for feasibility. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
2061 I'm authorized to grant you three (3) wishes, provided they have authorization from your immediate superior, and pending approval from the legal department. Wishes do not carry over into the New Year and may not be combined with any previous wishes. 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
2062 As Sidney the account of the lamp I will grant you 3 days extension to file your taxes. 1.2099 0.06013 81 69 7 5
2063 I'll grant you three wishes. I'll allow you to choose "uncommitted" if you have only two at this time. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
2064 I am the CPA Genie. Wishes I can grant include deductions suggestions, filing extensions, and a variety of harangues on personal responsibilities. 1.2099 0.04553 81 64 17 0
2065 Just so we’re on the same page, flat tax and single payer health insurance are *two* wishes. 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
2066 Of course I'll grant you your three wishes - but first you'll need to sign this arbitration agreement. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
2067 I don’t grant wishes. However, if you or a loved one has been injured in a car accident… 1.2099 0.06013 81 69 7 5
2068 Then there’s the Hold Harmless clause. . . 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
2069 The Oracle of Aladdin 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
2070 Open Sesame" won't do it if you lost your safe deposit box key. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
2071 I’m from 60 Minutes, and I’m here to help you. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
2072 And no wishing for infinite growth… 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
2073 Actually, my client has several wishes of his own. 1.2097 0.04475 124 103 16 5
2074 And now you're going to find out what it's like to be stuffed into a teapot! 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2075 I'm glad you rubbed the lamp. Now I can be on a Trump jury. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2076 You really rub me the wrong way. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2077 Where have I been? In an undisclosed location. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2078 I know I wished I could stick it to 'The Donald' but I didn't think I would get help from 'The Dick',Mr. Cheney 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2079 You must be the oil peddler. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2080 Now I am Karl Rove, the destroyer of worlds. You now have three conspiracy theories to propel into the electorate. 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
2081 Im a bit rusty. You’re better off fixing your own problems. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2082 The tax genie doesn’t grant wishes, we take them. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
2083 you let me out past my expiration date 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
2084 I am the investment banker genie and you are here to grant me three wishes! 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
2085 As your CEO genie, I grant myself a hefty stock package, 2 private jets, and a pink slip for you. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
2086 If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. You're going to law school. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
2087 My name is Gene E. Ennaboddle, and this keeps happening to me! 1.2078 0.05944 77 65 8 4
2088 A raise? Best, I can do is a ping pong table for the break room and a bi-annual pizza party. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
2089 I'll grant you three NEW tax exemptions as your CPA genie 1.2078 0.05944 77 65 8 4
2090 #7-You cannot wish for more wishes. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
2091 I can give you a million dollars, but you have to consider the tax consequences. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
2092 before my client can grant you any wishes you are required to sign this NDA. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
2093 Asking for a raise is more effective. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
2094 Wow. Does this happen to everyone's ashes? 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
2095 Al Addin, CPA at your service. I can get you deductions, I can prevent audits, and I can get you a BIG refund . How’s that for 3 wishes! 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
2096 I'll grant you three wish-application forms. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
2097 Plastics... There's a great future in plastics. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
2098 In lieu of the aforementioned three wishes, Genie & Ginsburg LLP hereby agree to provide pro-bono legal services, but we can’t provide tax advice. Oh—and we can’t make anyone fall in love. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
2099 You can have three wishes, once they are either about tax returns, pension planning or prenup agreements. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
2100 Are you the actual genie, or did Bob Newhart somehow get into the lamp? 1.2078 0.05944 77 65 8 4
2101 I'm better suited to grant your wishes. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
2102 Nooooo! It’s tax season! 1.2073 0.04504 82 65 17 0
2103 No, I don't know Jeannie nor do I dream about her! 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
2104 You have three wishes, and I think your first wish should be to go paperless. 1.2073 0.06193 82 71 5 6
2105 You don’t get three wishes but uh take an hour for lunch today 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
2106 First I'll need a statement of need. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
2107 Forget “wishes”, I grant bonuses! 1.2073 0.05945 82 70 7 5
2108 I turned into a lawyer because you wished for a big penis. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
2109 Buy low,sell high. 1.2069 0.04664 87 70 16 1
2110 ... Hu Hu Ha Ha Ha ... 1.2069 0.04368 87 69 18 0
2111 I'll grant you one more day in February to file your taxes. 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
2112 Is your wish to be the next president of the United States? 1.2069 0.05696 87 74 8 5
2113 Sorry, but there’s no practice rub. 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
2114 I could get me out of this. 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
2115 No, one of your wishes cannot be to keep me on retainer. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
2116 Thank you for granting me my escape. Ta ta! 1.2069 0.04368 87 69 18 0
2117 I'm the genie auditor. I'm sorry to say there was a blockchain issue with the Bitcoin we gave you in 2020. 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
2118 I grant you three options on a timeshare. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2119 You have 3 vacation days, choose them wisely! 1.2065 0.04244 92 73 19 0
2120 I didn't expect to see you either, son. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
2121 The bad news is, that you only get one wish due to inflation. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
2122 I'm better known as Gene, your accountant. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
2123 "Wishes don't get the job done, Collins. AL-1 forms signed off on by HR do." 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
2124 Unfortunately, we are experiencing a company-wide wishes freeze right now. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
2125 I'm the manager, not the genie. Here are your three duties. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
2126 Okay, so no TED talk. What's your second wish? 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
2127 As a Republican, could I get you to wish the whole frozen embryo thing never happened. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
2128 I will grant you three wishes…but first, I need you to do me a favor” 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
2129 Well, not ANY wish—you’re too valuable to the team. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
2130 You've got a good product liability suit on that lamp. 1.2055 0.06156 73 62 7 4
2131 I’ll tell YOU what your 3 wishes are. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
2132 Listen and obey, Masterson... 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
2133 Your three wishes are down the agenda. The first item is to sign my NDA 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
2134 We wanted to verify that you are not a robot. 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
2135 Not so fast! Your three wishes were consolidated into the standard deduction by the 2017 tax act! 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
2136 This is your last wish and I can't give you three more or make you CEO of the corporation. 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
2137 This is your lucky day! Hurry,there is no time to lose! Make three wishes for us. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
2138 No, it's fine, but I was kinda hoping for Barbara Eden 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
2139 Because you made your wishes on company time, all the money, the sports car, and even the talking monkey now belong to the company. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
2140 Your wish to collect Unemployment is granted. 1.2051 0.05873 78 66 8 4
2141 For the record, the instructions were clear: to maintain contents in a: cool, dry, place! 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
2142 From now on: only 2 wishes 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
2143 I will grant you one wish .. for a fee of $30,000. 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
2144 Genie is my son. Please call me Gene. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
2145 The SEC considers granting wishes to be insider trading. I can only give you three highly rated recommendations. 1.2051 0.05873 78 66 8 4
2146 Oh, this is tea and whiplash! 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
2147 Diversify, for God’s sake! Save your other two wishes for a bear market! 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
2148 Your wish is granted. Hereafter, you'll buy low, sell high. 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
2149 You must pay taxes on all three wishes. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
2150 I’ll grant you three wishes…but anything about capitalism is off the table. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
2151 The script was wrong! Now I'm free! I’m free at last! 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2152 As CEO of the lamp, I grant you three wishes. But first, let's talk about my stock options. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
2153 I grant you 3 wishes. But no free checking. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
2154 Firstly , you should never ask the Genie for a politician you can trust and you must always trust me . 1.2048 0.05878 83 71 7 5
2155 I'd love to help, but I'm not good at being outside the box. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
2156 Sorry, you just get 3 political projections from this lamp. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
2157 Sorry, I can’t actually do anything for your personal finance issues, I strictly do government work. 1.2045 0.05636 88 75 8 5
2158 Your wish for what was in the bank vault has been granted. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2159 Can you use your first wish to de-classify these documents? 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
2160 I asked for roe, not Carl Rowe. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2161 "Alright, alright, you get one wish. But let me tell you, this 'unlimited refills' offer is starting to lose its magic. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2162 I am your Fed genie. Ask carefully." 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
2163 No, you cannot use me as collateral for a loan! 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
2164 Don’t make that third wish to grow old making other people’s wishes come true. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
2165 Make sure you spell Genie with a G! 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
2166 You have released the genie of the IRS! I will grant you three tax audits! 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
2167 In reward for rescuing me, I grant you tax deductions three. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
2168 I can't believe I came in on my day off for this. You get three wishes, not three pages of wishes! 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
2169 Are you crazy?! 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
2170 I don't grant wishes, just investment advice. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
2171 Nice try Jenkins, get back to work 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
2172 I'll take those as prompts. I'm just a large language model so I can't help you with wishes. 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
2173 No, I am not Dick Cheney, I only play him when you rub that lantern 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
2174 No wishes for you, kid, 'til you get the rest of me outta there. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
2175 I was hoping for more help than a genius can offer. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
2176 I am the Accountant Genie and I grant you 3 tax deductions! 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
2177 There's no budget for three wishes, John 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
2178 The tax genie you attempted to summon is currently on work-from-home status. If you wish to leave a message, I will see that it is delivered in a timely manner. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
2179 I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranTea 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2180 It’s Dr. Genii to you! 1.2025 0.04550 79 63 16 0
2181 Hi! I'm Gene. To access your 3 wishes, please post your name, email address, social security, and bank account routing number to Gene.com. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2182 No not three. Just one. And first you have to give me your best years. 1.2025 0.06077 79 68 6 5
2183 And with his third wish, Josh extended rich, white men their privilege for another 200 years. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2184 Your first wish is to earn no more than 1% of my salary. Your second wish involves higher deductibles for health insurance. Care to hear about your third wish? 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2185 It's simple. Cut taxes on the 1% and all will be well. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2186 Sir, do you have insurance on that lamp? 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2187 As your ‘attornie,’ I grant you three wishes that will cost $150,000 each, not including the explanation on why you can’t do that. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2188 Never tell a genie you wish they knew how hard your life was. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2189 Just Don't Wish For A Promotion 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2190 The blue guy? My sister's kid. Overactive thyroid. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2191 Remember, I can’t kill somebody, I can’t make anybody fall in love, and I can’t grant any more vacation days 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
2192 I wish for you to go back into the bottle and pretend like this never happened 1.2025 0.06077 79 68 6 5
2193 To get the three wishes you have to pull my finger 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2194 Back in my day we had to make our own wishes come true. There was no 'genie' to grant you wishes. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2195 Wishing won't do it; saving will. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2196 I will grant you three external deliverables. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2197 I told you to rub sideways; now half my body is missing. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2198 I will grant you three tax dodges ! 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2199 I'm the lawyer representing the genie. You must cease and desist wishing for 'unlimited wishes.'' 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2200 Of course due to inflation there will only be one wish. 1.2024 0.05813 84 72 7 5
2201 As my master, you’re entitled to any three briefs you’d like me to file. 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
2202 I will make three demands of you before you can go on with your life. 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
2203 I dreamed of this! 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2204 No, you cannot wish to avoid paying taxes on your other wishes. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2205 Because you are not rich and you are undeserving, I am not going to grant you three tax cuts. 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
2206 Remember,I don’t do elections, hook-ups or free parking spaces. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2207 I just want to say one word to you... just one word... are you listening? Plastics. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
2208 Who dares disturb this ancient tax return? 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
2209 I'm a lot to unpack! Get your value-added, next-level wishes right here! 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
2210 Well, see, this is America, son, so your wish actually has to pass through two chambers of Congress before I can veto it. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2211 You wish your penthouse was 30 thousand square feet 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
2212 And to reward you for setting me free, I will now grant you three pizza parties. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
2213 I'll grant you three pre-trial motions, but no arguments for absolute immunity. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
2214 Rush Limbaugh?!” “Turns out granting wishes of those deserving is my personal form of hell. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2215 I wish this election was over. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
2216 Your wishes had to be on Form P8516. They’re denied. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2217 Shmedly, you've rubbed me the wrong way for the last time! You're fired! 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
2218 I modernized my attire! 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2219 Hi, Matthew, I'm the tax genius, tell me 3 things we can take away from you this year. Those 3 things will disappear forever!!! 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2220 As Mr. Genie’s Attorney, I protest this constant intrusion into his private life!” 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2221 Nope -- I'm a supply-side genie. You can only have lower taxes, decreased regulation, and free trade. That's three. 1.2000 0.06003 75 64 7 4
2222 I'm glad you wished I was still alive son, now I can cut you out of my will. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2223 You’re rubbing me the wrong way, Johnson! 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2224 You can wish otherwise but the half-Windsor knot first goes around then up-and-through. Let me demonstrate …” 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
2225 before my client can consider your wish, we will need a signed disclaimer acknowledging your responsibility for gift and or income tax liability, and also securing applicable building and zoning permits and liability insurance. 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
2226 I am the Functionary of the Lamp. I deny your 3 petitions. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
2227 You are granted three wishes at a fixed rate but compounded quarterly! 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
2228 Don’t even think about wishing to be a junior partner. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
2229 I’m not just a genie in a bottle, I’m a genie with taxes! 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2230 I will grant you 3 tax breaks 1.2000 0.04500 80 64 16 0
2231 INFLATION 1.2000 0.04500 80 64 16 0
2232 You’ll get your three wishes just as soon as you sign this liability waiver. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2233 My client suggests you rub it better. 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
2234 Press the lid indicating you have read the terms and conditions before making your 3 wishes. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2235 Oh no, I forgot my cellphone! 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
2236 Taxes? Yes, but I can't help you with that "true love" thing. 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
2237 And to think,I could have been Herman Melville. Do you want to be Moby Dick? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2238 For freeing me from the lamp you are granted three tax deductions. 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
2239 I grant you two civil lawsuits, and one get out of jail free. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2240 Remember, you can only ask me about three stocks. 1.2000 0.04500 80 64 16 0
2241 My client wishes to renegotiate the terms of his contract. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2242 I’ll grant you three re-orgs. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2243 You'll get it after you buy my book. 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
2244 "Shame on you for thinking you can just wish away your taxes!" 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2245 No, you can't waive the wish-granting fee, it's implied when you rub the lamp. 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
2246 If you wish to set up an account we can get started. 1.2000 0.06003 75 64 7 4
2247 I am the GREAT OZ! Don't get your hopes up. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2248 Did you want that super-sized? 1.2000 0.06006 80 69 6 5
2249 Unfortunately, I am not able to unsend that email. How about a new title? 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
2250 Sorry, we no longer traffic in wishes. However, we do have some very attractive IPOs available. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2251 For my third wish, I no longer want to be a genie. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2252 Oh no. A politician. 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
2253 With every wish, please submit the proper tax form. 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
2254 ‘Actually, I’m a ‘ghostly appropriation’.. I’ve already taken your wishes. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2255 I will grant you three wishes and then write them off. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2256 Genie's are so dated. I'm here for the Gen Z population. 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
2257 Choose wisely; the 2024 Federal gift tax ranges from 18% to 40%." 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
2258 What, I’am a real genie. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
2259 No, you can’t wish for a raise. Or better benefits. Or a vacation. Or… 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2260 Granting wishes has become big business. 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
2261 You wished for a 20% raise!? Best I can do is 8%, vision insurance, and a one-time stock option. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2262 How do I “unwish” this? 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2263 John was beginning to wish he hadn’t clicked on the ‘REDUCE YOUR TAX BILL FAST’ banner ad 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
2264 I'll give you 3 stock tips for letting me out 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
2265 Your wish to extend your tax-filing deadline is granted. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
2266 I will grant you three non-tax deductible, payment deferred, low interest rate wishes. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2267 I’m here to tell you about our new benefits package. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2268 Of course I'm a Genie ... Gene E Whittington, III, Esquire 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
2269 I'll grant your wish after my next appointment 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2270 Yes, you can have three, but one of them must be that I, Dick Cheney, am back in the White House 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
2271 No you can’t wish for me to sign a fiduciary agreement 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2272 „Remember: a market allocates best!“ 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
2273 …So, actually, you’re the one who owes ME four wishes. 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
2274 Before I grant your last wish, I'll need to see an itemized receipt for your first and second wish. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
2275 Hold on there, young man. Of course I'll grant you your wish but first you must agree to work for me at least for a year at $14.75 per hour. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
2276 You should have wished it would never get worse than Dick Cheney. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
2277 I have to let you go. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
2278 I'm as close to a nerdy genie as AI could get. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
2279 Genie? No, I'm the tax attorney who ensures that any income derived from wishing on a lamp is reported on form W-2G 1.1975 0.05671 81 69 8 4
2280 I'm here to collect tax on any money my colleague granted you. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
2281 I am the lawyer of the lamp, and I grant you three lawsuits at $900 an hour. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
2282 We haven’t received your online waiver. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
2283 I am the Genie of the Tax Code. I can grant you three loopholes! 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
2284 I'm your accountant. Don't ask for a billion dollars. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
2285 I know I'm not a beautiful genie; stop being sexist. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
2286 My wife wished for the genie to stay. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
2287 I'm not discussing wishes until the Union negotiator gets here. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
2288 I’ll grant you 1 wish. I’m keeping 2 for the IRS. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
2289 That wish requires more data than you plan allows. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
2290 Instead of three wishes, I offer three buzzwords: Synergy, leverage, and... um, let's circle back to that. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
2291 Careful what you wish for young man. I am your father. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
2292 This is what you get when you buy lanterns at the 99 Cent Store. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
2293 Gentrification is such an ugly word. Think of it instead as me introducing an experience to a broader audience. 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
2294 Stop A.I.? Your wish is granted. Artificial Insemination is no more! 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
2295 Do you really wish for a pandemic so you can work from home? 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
2296 I can file three federal tax returns free, but state returns are extra." 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
2297 Three wishes are free. Tax tips I'm going to have to charge. 1.1974 0.05929 76 65 7 4
2298 You really had to ask a genie to do your taxes? 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
2299 I can make you a CEO. Do you prefer Theranos or Enron? 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
2300 Quit pissing in here! 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
2301 I bill by the eon 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
2302 I can grant you three tax deductions. State deductions are not included in this package. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
2303 With these two candidates basically inevitable, it’s no wonder that everyone is wishing for Dick Cheney. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
2304 You can use your three wishes only upon being fully vested. 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
2305 From one blow hard to another, I'm giving you a heads up. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
2306 I always suggest reading the fine print, but yeah. ‘Anything.’ 1.1974 0.04596 76 61 15 0
2307 In this office,my wish is your command. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
2308 before you accept my services I am going to recite my terms and conditions 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
2309 You’ve got three put options. 1.1974 0.04596 76 61 15 0
2310 You wished for a big subpoena, did you not? 1.1974 0.04596 76 61 15 0
2311 It’s simple…no love, no luck, no life…by the way I used all your wishes months ago! 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
2312 I FARTED IN THERE! 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
2313 I will grant you 3 tasks that must be completed by the close of business today. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
2314 The lesson is never confuse the Four Seasons. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
2315 I shall grant you three unreasonable pieces of legislative control over the female body! 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
2316 You get three wishes, two are in holdings. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
2317 The last guy wished for tax cuts, trade protectionism, and deregulation, and look where that got us. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
2318 And I wish I still had my hair and bought Amazon in 2002. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
2319 Ok, but first you have to sign an N.D.A. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
2320 I'm here from the Make-A-Wish Foundation to make sure you're dying. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
2321 It Does take a Genie! 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
2322 My third wish was for more wishes. I thought they’d be mine! 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
2323 3 WSH buyback shares is the final offer 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
2324 You see, each time tax rates are cut, federal revenue increases and the economy gets better for everyone, ... 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
2325 I will grant myself three wishes. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
2326 Yeh, you get three wishes, but a Border Deal is not an option. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
2327 I'm not doing any wishes until Congress passes a long-term funding bill. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
2328 I know, you were thinking "Jeannie," but you got "Genie." Blame robotic transcription, not me! 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
2329 We can argue until I'm blue in the face! I refuse to be shirtless to "look more genie-like." 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
2330 Sorry,can't do that one. Corporate's going with an external hire. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
2331 Wishing for a different genie is not on the table. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
2332 A thousand years ago, I wished for a smaller butt. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
2333 Could that meeting have been an email? 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
2334 Careful with the thumb. That's my weiner! 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
2335 Do not expose my tale! 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
2336 I’m granting you three hours to get your embryos out of Alabama. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
2337 Yeahhhhhh, about that wish 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2338 Eliminate taxes? That's impossible. 1.1957 0.05407 92 79 8 5
2339 Rule #1: I can’t do your taxes for you. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
2340 I wish you didn't look like Dick Cheney. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2341 I will grant you three wishes, but I can’t make taxes disappear, not even magic can obstruct law. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2342 I told you, I DONT DO CAPTIONS! 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
2343 You're gonna wish you'd never been born! 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
2344 If you wish for promotion don't rub me up the wrong way 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
2345 ...and I don't grant any D.E.I nonsense. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
2346 I will be yourGenie under these conditions; 1.I have weekends off,2.No kinky stuff 3.I want to have a more appropriate costume with pointy satin slippers. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
2347 You cannot wish for love, bring someone back from the dead, or mix personal and business finances. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
2348 3 wishes??? How about 3 tax write-offs that the IRS never questions??!? 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
2349 Those wishes were not tax exempt? 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2350 Sorry, you need a Democratic genie to grant that one. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2351 No way, not Greenspan, not even using all three wishes 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2352 Name your three deductions 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2353 You ain't ever had a financial advisor like me 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2354 You cannot wish to not be a virgin—trust me, I've tried. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
2355 Yes, any wish, as long as it's on the list of quarterly objectives. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
2356 Too late - the genie is evicted 1.1948 0.06142 77 67 5 5
2357 Tech is hot. Stay bullish on Bitcoin. But inflation depends on what you wish for. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2358 QANON selling Bitcoin! 1.1948 0.04543 77 62 15 0
2359 I am NOT going to grant any wishes until you finish that report! 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
2360 A billion dollars? Kid, it's not 2020 anymore. Best I can do is loan you two million at five percent — and that's pretty damn good these days. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2361 You have won 3 wishes, but first you must read the fine print and sign those contracts. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
2362 Wishes require two copies of forms 356 and 418b, notarized. And no, you can't wish the paperwork away. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2363 Like Trump, you get unlimited lawsuits." 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2364 Sorry - guns, money and lawyers - won't change April 15th. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
2365 Beware of plagiarism. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2366 Christ! What an asshole! 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2367 …I as a representative of the Genie will bequeath on to you the grantor three requests, in which the requester, pertains to a voluntary assumption of risk and comprehends that as a wiling participant cannot pursue a claim for injuries or loss. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
2368 I am your Gene in a bottle... Yes, it's an unfortunate name. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
2369 Congratulations! And welcome to I Dream of Annuity! 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
2370 No requests before we have an NDA." 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
2371 You may wish for anything you like except for immortality, more wishes, and regulations against the sale of assault weapons 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
2372 I’m a middle-managenie! You give ME your 3 personal goals for the year and I give you a pizza party. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
2373 OMG! More democrats are coming out as a Gene. 😂😂 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2374 Per the hand book HR have requested that I inform you that your three wishes will kick in after a 30 day grace period… 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2375 Finally! Free! Now lets create even more shareholder value 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2376 I will grant thee two wishes adjusted for inflation. 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
2377 I started out as a pundit and it sort of snowballed 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
2378 Sorry, Congress has temporarily shut down the Genie Operation until we can best determine how to tax it. 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
2379 I’m the fiduciary in the bottle. You have three consultations. 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
2380 So much for THAT undisclosed location... what's it gonna be kid? And don't say you wanna kill baby Hitler... that's played out! 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
2381 and lastly I suggest a rethink... 1.1944 0.04697 72 58 14 0
2382 The DOW will move down mid Sertember 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
2383 This is what happens if you rub me the wrong way! 1.1944 0.06452 72 63 4 5
2384 I can give you anything you want except a Wawa in your town. 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
2385 Wishes??? I tell you what I wish: stop sticking that pot up your nose when you have a cold, will you? 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
2386 So, yes I am a genie, but I can only help maximize your 401k. 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
2387 I’ll grant you three mitigating circumstances. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
2388 Before you get the genie, there are a couple of disclaimers and an NDA you need to sign 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
2389 All future genie gifts will now be subject to IRS tax impositions as genie gifts are considered income 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
2390 Wishing isn't a plan young man; set your KPI's and make sure you achieve them each quarter. 1.1944 0.04697 72 58 14 0
2391 I am your Genie/Accountant." "I will grant you three wishes but they all must be less than $1199 due to tax purposes. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
2392 You awoke the tax genie! I will grant you three deductions. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
2393 Some genie, I bet he couldn’t even get us out of this audit. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
2394 You can have anything you want, as long as it increases shareholder value. 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
2395 You will need to fill out Form 2250 if you would like to request three more wishes. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
2396 You're really starting to rub me the wrong way with these constant requests. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2397 You get three reminders that your TPS reports are due." 1.1928 0.04356 83 67 16 0
2398 I wanted a back scratch … not a rub. 1.1928 0.04356 83 67 16 0
2399 Ask for money, get advice. Ask for advice, get money. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2400 Genie will be right out. She's in the shower. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2401 None of your three wishes can have leading questions, otherwise I’ll have to object. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2402 "I don't grant wishes, I'll give you three political predictions. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2403 I am no genie, and you don't get three wishes off note cards! who raised you? 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
2404 Sorry, but we've fired the genie and sold all the wishes to Saudi Arabia. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
2405 I can put you on the management fast track. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
2406 I'm not a genie, I'm a Cheney. I only grant wishes to Fortune 500 companies. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
2407 What is it you want from me? 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
2408 I will grant you three new tax write-offs. 1.1923 0.05787 78 67 7 4
2409 I was referred by your genie. I'm a CPA. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
2410 The Cayman Islands Genie can grant three evasions 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
2411 No tricks, but it will impact the stock market. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
2412 I shall grant you 3 tax deductions. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
2413 Thomas, I told you that even a Genie won’t make your deadlines go away. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
2414 I can grant you any wish, but I'm still going to need you to work this weekend. 1.1923 0.05787 78 67 7 4
2415 In my day, they called it "Pharoah-nomics" 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
2416 Sorry, we've been merged. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
2417 Shaken, not stirred my man! 1.1918 0.04640 73 59 14 0
2418 No, you can't wish for a better-looking genie! 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2419 Did you want investment advice or just a warm buffet? 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2420 I 'm Eugene, but my friends call me Genie. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2421 I will grant you a minimum of zero and a maximum of three wishes, in accordance with Section 50.1.A, Subsection 32.15.X of the International Genie Code, unless prohibited by ... 1.1918 0.05740 73 62 8 3
2422 Can't we do this by ZOOM? 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2423 Wish for anything, but I can't guarantee your PTO will be approved. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2424 don't rub me the wrong way and i'll grant you 3 exemptions 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2425 You cannot use your 3 wishes for PTO 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2426 Financial wishes granted. Now can you hook me up with Janet Yellen? 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2427 You,hereinafter the Recipient,have been granted three (3) wishes,but there are conditions. You might want to sit down,this will take a while. 1.1918 0.06062 73 63 6 4
2428 Ah, man. I got Dick Cheney. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2429 Well, you were reported for harassment! You must not rub the back of the lamps! 1.1918 0.04640 73 59 14 0
2430 You get 3 wishes, none of them count. Back to work, Al 1.1918 0.05740 73 62 8 3
2431 My client will grant you three wishes, as long as you sign a waiver not to sue if you don't like the results 1.1915 0.05300 94 81 8 5
2432 Excuse me, the name is Eugene. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
2433 No, you only get one wish, but you have to lodge it in triplicate. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
2434 Corporate at last! 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
2435 Karl Rove in a bottle, granting you three dirty tricks 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
2436 You aint never...hadda...CPA...like...me!! 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
2437 Hi! I'm Gene E. and spoiler alert, your wishes will be taxed accordingly. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
2438 If you want legs, don’t ask for a Congressman. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
2439 No wishes but I will do your taxes for the next 3 years 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
2440 Hi there. Welcome to Genie-AI. Please fill out each of your three wishes on these forms. Upload your wishes to our website and you will be entered into our highly suspicious sweepstakes. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
2441 Yes, three wishes, but have you considered investing one of them into a high risk stock portfolio? 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
2442 Yes, from now on every season is tax season. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
2443 The next hot investment will be Artificial Earnings 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
2444 Buy two, get the third one free” 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
2445 I am the genie of stock futures. Sell everything Trump. 1.1905 0.05738 84 73 6 5
2446 No, I’m Mr. Wish-Granter. You wouldn’t believe how litigious Disney is! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
2447 No, you may not use your third wish to get an extension on your taxes. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
2448 Limited Time Offer Not Available in Stores And is made in the USA be aware of Imitators May cause heart attack, stroke, and death Use with caution " @newyorkerma 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
2449 Ay, there’s the rub. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2450 But I may require a reelection to get those done. 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
2451 I can only offer you 1 wish this time around...sorry, inflation is out of control these days 1.1899 0.04441 79 64 15 0
2452 Congratulations! You've set a new record for disclaimers. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
2453 Look on the bright side, when you get all the money in the world, I can do your taxes as well… 1.1899 0.05719 79 68 7 4
2454 I will give you THREE tax deductions! 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
2455 Stock options are not on your three-wishes choice list, Evans. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
2456 At least you're not staring at a cell phone young man. 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
2457 I moved in with Genie last year when AI took most of his gigs. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
2458 Before you make your last wish, I just want to apologize for that misunderstanding about your performance appraisal. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
2459 You have three wishes with an option to buy more at a strike price we can negotiate. 1.1899 0.05719 79 68 7 4
2460 Sorry I granted all my wishes a long time ago. Just living out the rest of my term. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
2461 You have three wishes,but I take one as my cut,my agent takes one also as his share,and my ex-wife takes the third since I behind on my alimony payments. You are SOL pal! 1.1899 0.05719 79 68 7 4
2462 I’ll make you a deal - I get the honor of having your vote, you get remarkable tax cuts, a plethora of new high-earning jobs to choose from, and four day work weeks. I’m talking guarantees. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
2463 I was shut in by Trump and his MAGA supporters 1.1892 0.05985 74 64 6 4
2464 "Sorry,Pal. I got laid off three weeks ago. You'll have to call the 800 number and talk to somebody in the Philippines." 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2465 I will grant you a three-percent interest rate. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2466 I will file any three legal briefs that you wish. Choose wisely! 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
2467 You'll have to sign and notarize these before seeing my client... 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2468 You'll never be able to put me back in the bottle! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2469 But, rub me the wrong way and you’re fired. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2470 Magic? Of course not! But I do have some good tips for some real estate investment. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2471 You wish to be a grammarian? This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I will not put. 1.1892 0.05985 74 64 6 4
2472 Yes, you get three wishes, but nothing woke. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
2473 Kelsey Grammar unleashes his sexy side in "I Dream of Cheney". 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2474 Make tax forms more complicated? Finally, someone gets it! 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2475 Karl Rove? I was expecting James Carville! 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2476 I can't make people fall in love, no wishes for more wishes, and no, I don't take Venmo. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2477 Vote for me and all your dreams will come true. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2478 Ha ha. I’m a MAGA Republican! 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2479 And furthermore, your mother and I are also disappointed in your wasting time wishing away your life. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2480 8 hours. EIGHT! Do you have any idea of what it feels like being trapped from 9 to 5 in a condensed space, with no hope of being liberated anytime soon? Anyways... 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2481 It’s actually ‘Cheney in a Bottle’ and you gotta rub me the right way… 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2482 You've been granted one free legal consultation. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
2483 $50,000 apiece… You heard me right. We’re not non-profit anymore. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
2484 Whatever made you think an actuarial accountant couldn't also be a genie? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
2485 You get three wishes then press "submit." 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
2486 I know I'm the genie but if I weren't I'd wish you were a better employee. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
2487 My first recommendation is to reserve your wish until you can no longer tolerate my ceaseless advice. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
2488 I am "THE MAN" in the Lamp! 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
2489 Shrewd move, son. Now, ask for me to be a little bit younger. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
2490 I’m here to grant you three wishes; however, only two are tax-free. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
2491 You didn't read the terms of service before rubbing the lamp, so now I will read them aloud to you. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
2492 Sorry you didn’t get the memo I’m on strike. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
2493 Every wish has a price. And a receipt. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
2494 ''Three wishes, yeah, but fair warning, even I can't make Trump disappear!" 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
2495 I can't help you avoid taxes, last time someone wished that there was a riot on the Capitol 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
2496 you should wish you hadn’t done this. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
2497 But I warn thee, these wishes are non-deductible! 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
2498 So now 'evil Cheney' is called upon to work some anti-Trump magic? 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
2499 Making your wishes come true requires a long-term investment strategy that balances security and risk. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
2500 Even though they look the same, the knockoffs are never as good as the actual product. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
2501 You may have three free tax returns. 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
2502 I'm not a genie, I'm a genius! I wish for grants. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
2503 I’m a genie, not a CPA 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2504 We've been trying to contact you about your vehicle's extended warranty. 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
2505 Thank you for freeing me from this lamp. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes. But you have to pay taxes on everything you wish for 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2506 Explain gender assignation? Would you settle for world peace? 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
2507 I will grant you three retractions. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2508 …I just can’t grant reincarnation, true love or vacation requests longer than 10 business days 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2509 I’m not Alexa, I’m your accountant. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2510 Yeah, I know you freed me from the lamp, and I'm suppose to give you three wishes for that. But I kinda don't want to. Have you ever considered pulling your self up by your own bootstraps? Fuckin' Millennials... 1.1868 0.05615 91 80 5 6
2511 I grant you dirivatives, asset allocations and unlimited arbitrage. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
2512 HR has actually added a few stipulations on wishes. 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
2513 Don't forget to do your timesheets. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2514 Maybe this lawyer genie will keep me from going to jail if I wish for it! 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2515 I can’t reverse death or taxes. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2516 My name's Gene, not Genie, and I don't give a hoot about your wishes.! 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2517 No, I don’t know Barbara Eden. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2518 I've been in there for 25 years, how could I have known that Bitcoin wasn't a bunch of pennies with teeth marks? 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2519 Since you didn't agree to the "terms and conditions" of rubbing the lamp, I'm required to sing them to you in rhyming verse 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2520 Unlimited wishes, yes. Unlimited vacation days, no. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2521 Just one more case of Cultural Appropriation 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2522 I'll give you everything you want if you put me back in the lamp! 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2523 Convert your conventional IRA to a Roth IRA, NOW. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2524 Act now, and you can get $20 off your 2024 Turbo Tax filing!!! 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2525 I have to reboot first. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2526 I said, “perky dancers,” not “Bernie Sanders” 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2527 What EXACTLY was your first wish? 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2528 not a genie, I am mitch McConnell, this is my new gig 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2529 ...but the wishes can only be related to accounting. 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
2530 Thanks! I get three wishes; you're screwed. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2531 Three wishes? Sorry, no. But I can give you a great deal on an extended warranty for your car! 1.1857 0.04682 70 57 13 0
2532 OK, now that you let inflation out of the bottle, I grant you three hundred basis points. 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
2533 It's time for political consensus to address the climate change crisis. Let's get back to work! 1.1857 0.06203 70 61 5 4
2534 You have three asset classes—choose wisely. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2535 Just keep raising the debt limits and your wishes will be granted. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
2536 Do you want to make a wish that benefits yourself your company, or the general population? 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2537 The last guy asked me to be his accountant. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2538 And now…I shall grant you three tax deductions 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
2539 Your three wishes need to be in the system 2 weeks beforehand and I'll need to see a coverage plan 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
2540 Ask for anything but a raise. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2541 No, just half a wish. I was only in there for a few hours. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2542 My Hedge Fund is at your command. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2543 I'm your grandfather, Gene, and I wish you'd stop playing with that stupid lamp. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2544 Shoot, I wish I had sold my Disney stock a few years ago, too. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2545 At least one of your wishes must include a 3% matched contribution to your 401k. The other two you may use at your discretion and will remain off the record. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2546 salary, leaves and bonus increment are not wishable 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2547 This generation doesn't know how good they have it. I had to live in a lamp for a thousand years! 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
2548 For rubbing the lamp, I grant you three deductions. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
2549 No, I'm not a genie in a bottle. The name's Fred. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
2550 Admit it – aren’t you missing the simpler days of Bush v. Gore right about now? 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
2551 Sorry Alan, your contract actually stipulates that you can't wish for unlimited PTO 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
2552 Before the genie will grant any wishes, you'll need to sign and date the release of liability I've prepared. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
2553 Sorry, you must have rubbed the wrong number. I’m Gene E. Eastman from accounting. 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
2554 I will now grant myself three wishes from which you will receive the benefits at a yet to be decided future date. 1.1852 0.05586 81 70 7 4
2555 You have no idea how badly I have to go to the bathroom. 1.1848 0.05338 92 80 7 5
2556 Your wish is my remand. 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
2557 I wanted to solve my problems, not make more. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
2558 Here's the deal: three wishes for three performance reviews 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
2559 Are you serious? 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
2560 The tax genie magically files all your taxes & clears all your taxes away forever once a year before tax day. 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
2561 As a reward, I will grant you three tax deductions... 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
2562 You can make three wishes, but I guarantee that when I'm elected I won't grant them. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
2563 I will grant you three scandals. 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
2564 I’ll grant you 100 shares of any stocks of your choice. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
2565 We sent Genie to prison for tax fraud! 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
2566 Only if you promise to put that money in a high-yield savings account. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
2567 ‘Due to inflation and current financial crisis you are entitled to 1,72 wishes’ 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
2568 I should start by saying there are a few, uh, provisos, a couple of quid pro quos...and a warning: This product is known to the State of California to cause cancer. 1.1839 0.05551 87 76 6 5
2569 Oops! Wrong century! Put me back! I’ll need at least another 100 years before I’ll be able to understand and grant wishes about any of the stuff going on now. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
2570 All wishes must be submitted in written triplicate along with a $30 processing fee payable within 30 business days of manifestation of wish. 1.1831 0.04623 71 58 13 0
2571 The wishes are subject to your acceptance of certain conditions. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
2572 How can I write my memoir when you keep rubbing me the wrong way? 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2573 Hi Tony , I'm your new AI doctor." 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2574 Sorry…. Aladdin is my brother. I am A-lawyerin’. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
2575 You can’t wish against war in Iraq.” 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
2576 If I only use one wish, will you go away and never return? 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
2577 You’re going to have to diet before I can get you back into the oil lamp. 1.1831 0.04623 71 58 13 0
2578 Yeah? Well, I'll tell ya MY wish Jones... 1.1831 0.06121 71 62 5 4
2579 Oh, you’re looking for Gene E. His lamp’s downstairs in payroll. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
2580 THESE ARE BILLABLE HOURS 1.1831 0.04623 71 58 13 0
2581 You have been granted three paid sick days... 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
2582 I would like to add you to my LinkedIn network 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
2583 I grant thee three debits, credits, and/or accruals, subject to generally accepted accounting principles. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2584 you can wish for any three things as long as they don't impact my incentive bonus 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2585 Let me just state for the record that lamp oil makes a lousy martini. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
2586 Now, about that tea party gone awry” 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2587 Your lucky day! I actually love doing taxes! 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2588 One wish, tax questions only. 1.1829 0.04296 82 67 15 0
2589 You get three deductions. 1.1829 0.04296 82 67 15 0
2590 There’s the rub—I don’t have a leg to stand on. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
2591 We are going through a restructuring. Your genie has been let go. We have identified as lamps being our most popular service. I am happy to inform you that your wish has been granted and you are a proud owner of a lamp. 1.1829 0.05522 82 71 7 4
2592 Just remember, I get a taste of each wish. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
2593 No we don't wear fancy dress anymore. I am a GAAP accountant genie and can help you steal over a billion dollars legally 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
2594 Free me and I'll give you 3 stock tips 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
2595 I promise at least three wishes. And, I approve this message. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
2596 No more wishes! You already used your three to excuse your three late payments! 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
2597 Could you stop summoning me during my PTO? 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2598 You get three wishes that you'd bought crypto years ago. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2599 As I was saying, dress for the job you WANT, not the job you HAVE. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
2600 TEN THOUSAND YEARS… can give you some serious back taxes 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
2601 Containment is no longer an option, Stanley! 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
2602 In my day we didn't come to the office while tripping on acid. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2603 The last guy wished he could confront his father, so excuse my appearance 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
2604 Friendly reminder, since we grant you three wishes, one of which is technically owned by the IRS. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
2605 Let’s rub base on this next week. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2606 You, sir, are one lucky S.O.B.! 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
2607 Crap! I always get this guy 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
2608 I told you to buy Apple when it was at $1.50, now what do you want? 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
2609 I'm supposed to give you rules, but the customer is always right. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
2610 I’’m out of here! You get in there now! 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
2611 NO NO NO…I said Miss McConnell 1.1806 0.06041 72 63 5 4
2612 But c'mon, my friend, please don't confuse "genie" with "genius"! 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2613 You've got it wrong. You owe me three wishes. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2614 I am Shyster, the genie of billable hours, and you’re already rubbing me the wrong way. 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
2615 Phenomenal cosmic economics, itty bitty condo 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2616 I'm just a real estate genie. There's no wishes left. Trump used them up. 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
2617 You have three wishes, but all of them need to be approved by Trump. 1.1806 0.06041 72 63 5 4
2618 Ferguson, I want you to listen carefully to the three wishes I want you to make. 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
2619 You think rich happens without sound financial advice? 1.1806 0.04565 72 59 13 0
2620 I am the evil Djinn of AMT. Cut a check to the IRS or suffer a fate worse than death. 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
2621 I’ll grant you three wishes on your tax return. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2622 And my second wish is to get rid of my first. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2623 You get three promises. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2624 Ok, three more wishes. Please don’t indict me. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2625 Unless your wish is to end the capital gains tax, I don’t want to hear it 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2626 I grant you three projections! 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
2627 In consideration of three wishes, subject to legal and ethical constraints, the Genie (myself) agrees to grant said wishes with the understanding that any violation of the terms outlined herein may result in revocation of said wishes. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
2628 I'm sorry...I cannot grant your wish to add a couple of zeros to that earnings report. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
2629 I can offer you two wishes for a million bitcoins or three for a buck fifty. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
2630 Yes, you get 3 wishes. But their total value should not exceed $17,000 or I’ll have to file a Form 709. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
2631 ‘Well I don’t know about any wishes, however I am here to grant you three contextually irrelevant life lessons’ 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
2632 This is a great New York rental oppotunity, although exiting the property does require permission from the landlord 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
2633 Another Amazon order disappointment. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
2634 Oh, not exactly what I was expecting, but I wish for a six figure tax refund, competent leadership and a career making role in the final season of Grey's Anatomy. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2635 I told you not to mess with that thing. Now look. 1.1791 0.04720 67 55 12 0
2636 I am the genie of Haliburton. I will grant you three wishes for destroying nations. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
2637 Okay, now you can make a wish! Do you want to have longer work days, lower salary, or do you want to get fired? How's it going to be? 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
2638 Be careful what you wish for then punt. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2639 I can certainly do your taxes, but that will use up all three wishes. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
2640 If I am elected, I Donald Biden, will make Mexico great again! 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2641 Well if you want a house, maybe you should have stopped buying all that avocado toast. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2642 Buy Xerox at $110? Are yo sure? 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2643 I only do 1040EZs. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
2644 No, you can’t have a raise. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2645 Sorry, I've been holding that in for almost two centuries! 1.1791 0.05987 67 58 6 3
2646 Your I want to be you class begins now. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2647 I'll grant you two wishes and an easy way to keep from paying income tax. 1.1791 0.04720 67 55 12 0
2648 I do not like LampGPT. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
2649<