Contest #873 Summary

Name	Value
Submission deadline	-
Voting started	-
Voting ended	-
Finalists announced	-
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued	-
Number of captions	5612
Number of responses	669650
Number of participants	-

Rank	Caption	Mean	Precision	Total votes	"Unfunny" votes	"Somewhat funny" votes	"Funny" votes
0	Congratulations. We've found millions of compatible donors.	1.7939	0.01875	1718	732	608	378
1	You might want to put on your surprised eyebrows for what I’m about to say.	1.7816	0.01377	3453	1590	1027	836
2	What is your level of pain? Six-potato, seven-potato, eight-potato, more?	1.7709	0.01961	1750	835	481	434
3	At your age, just be thankful you still have all your original parts.	1.7590	0.01510	2610	1167	905	538
4	You're in good hands. He's in 4th grade and has performed hundreds of these surgeries since kindergarden	1.7506	0.01543	2634	1236	819	579
5	So is it Mr. Potāto, or Mr. Potäto?	1.7480	0.01557	2579	1213	803	563
6	A bit less time on the couch, perhaps.	1.7391	0.01558	2507	1175	811	521
7	Have you tried pulling it out and putting it back in?	1.7388	0.01559	2577	1231	788	558
8	Yes sir, we can schedule you for the nose job. But it’ll cost you an arm and a leg.	1.7366	0.01874	1758	835	551	372
9	It doesn't look good, I'm afraid. You have a tuber.	1.7359	0.01953	1613	765	509	339
10	Your bloodwork is back. I’ve never seen this before - it just says, “Needs salt.”	1.7312	0.01774	1968	945	607	416
11	Correct, Mr. Tater, tying your tubers means no more tots.	1.7210	0.01616	2556	1309	651	596
12	Well in my experience these things don't just fall off.	1.7157	0.01570	2385	1136	791	458
13	We'll have to do more tests, but it appears you're in a vegetative state.	1.7118	0.01704	2085	1018	650	417
14	''We can rule out your neck.''	1.7076	0.01538	2534	1238	799	497
15	The problem appears to be all in your head.	1.7039	0.01504	2641	1295	833	513
16	No more butter, sour cream, bacon, cheese or salt.	1.7031	0.01570	2482	1237	745	500
17	When was the last time you had your eyes replaced?	1.7030	0.01865	1596	750	570	276
18	Do you spend much time on your couch?	1.6994	0.01871	1700	838	535	327
19	I keep telling you, french fries will be the death of you.	1.6885	0.01629	2363	1223	653	487
20	It’s all in your head.	1.6876	0.01453	2804	1405	870	529
21	Second opinion? I think you're delicious.	1.6865	0.02127	1314	661	404	249
22	So how are the tots doing?	1.6821	0.01458	2812	1429	848	535
23	Good news: I believe we can just turn that frown upside down	1.6753	0.01812	1669	816	579	274
24	Don’t worry. This surgery is child’s play.	1.6693	0.01776	1624	773	615	236
25	Initial test results from the colonoscopy indicate we have located your glasses, your angry eyes, and your wife's purse.	1.6652	0.01853	1822	977	478	367
26	Stay away from the butter, sour cream and chives and you'll live a lot longer	1.6600	0.01965	1450	736	471	243
27	Let's pull off a shoe and check your prostate.	1.6592	0.02072	1385	728	401	256
28	You skipped the end-of-life directive. What'll it be pal? French, Scalloped, or Mashed?	1.6554	0.01959	1544	815	446	283
29	In your case, smoking pot and getting baked has very different consequences.	1.6539	0.01869	1670	876	496	298
30	Your cholesterol is fine, but your starch level is off the charts.	1.6507	0.01797	1709	874	558	277
31	This procedure will stop you from having tots.	1.6476	0.01712	2131	1173	536	422
32	Luckily, you're a great candidate for a transplant.	1.6470	0.01724	1847	948	603	296
33	According to your chart you can literally turn that frown upside down	1.6461	0.02134	1229	638	388	203
34	My god, Larry, has no one ever told you that you are what you eat?	1.6419	0.01731	1966	1057	556	353
35	Your potassium is a little high.	1.6330	0.01813	1564	794	550	220
36	This procedure usually involves long, complex plastic surgery. But in your case, I could give you a completely new nose in under a minute.	1.6296	0.01814	1582	813	542	227
37	Normally a full facial reconstruction is an arduous procedure but in your case….	1.6250	0.01832	1512	773	533	206
38	I know you're Mr. Potato Head, but the toy company just never made the part you're inquiring about. I'm sorry.	1.6250	0.01996	1496	831	395	270
39	And where, exactly, are you feeling this headache?	1.6232	0.02000	1457	802	402	253
40	We’ll change out a few parts and you’ll be a new man.	1.6229	0.01925	1379	710	479	190
41	You look good for a man in your shape.	1.6185	0.01939	1342	692	470	180
42	We're transferring you to MASH.	1.6158	0.02185	1140	613	352	175
43	Stop stressing. Losing body parts is just part of the aging process.	1.6154	0.01985	1269	655	447	167
44	We’ve run the DNA, Mr P. The tots are yours.	1.6143	0.02069	1501	883	314	304
45	The x-rays revealed 2 pairs of shoes, 3 hats, and what appears to be an extra nose.	1.6141	0.02083	1244	668	388	188
46	How long have you been peeling like this?	1.6107	0.02068	1220	648	399	173
47	Your plastic surgery looks like it was done by a kindergartner.	1.6011	0.02240	1078	592	324	162
48	When did you first notice your knee problem?	1.5998	0.02567	832	461	243	128
49	I’m afraid it’s a tuber.	1.5996	0.02311	1079	613	285	181
50	We have to remove everything.	1.5986	0.02309	1009	555	304	150
51	You may want to put on your surprised eyebrows for this	1.5888	0.02499	980	584	215	181
52	So I’m just going to pop that ear out and have a look	1.5878	0.02335	997	561	286	150
53	And you say it just fell off?	1.5870	0.02313	1000	559	295	146
54	Besides the persistent vegetative state, everything else looks good.	1.5862	0.02363	1003	574	270	159
55	Apparently the kit does not include ALL the desired body parts...	1.5852	0.02532	904	527	225	152
56	If your sugars get any higher you will be a sweet potato.	1.5844	0.02510	883	505	240	138
57	According to your chart, I haven't seen you since I was ten.	1.5819	0.02770	830	510	157	163
58	You appear to have a detachment disorder.	1.5806	0.02519	868	497	238	133
59	The good news is that from the neck up you are fine; the bad news is that we cannot find the rest of you.	1.5806	0.02558	825	468	235	122
60	Your DNA results... You are definitely not Irish but you do have deep roots in Idaho.	1.5800	0.02459	881	497	257	127
61	Remember, just because something fits into an orifice doesn’t mean it should.	1.5781	0.02561	922	555	201	166
62	For nose jobs, I send all my patients to Alison in Mrs. Armstrong's kindergarten class.	1.5747	0.02549	837	481	231	125
63	It may be tuberculous.	1.5742	0.02571	862	507	215	140
64	The only diagnosis I can come up with is half-baked.	1.5739	0.02531	873	509	227	137
65	Idaho, huh? Heard that’s a beautiful state.	1.5700	0.02729	721	415	201	105
66	I want you to apply sour cream at mealtime.	1.5680	0.02560	838	489	222	127
67	As I thought, it's terminal. What do you wish us to do with your remains? Chips? Fries? Vodka?	1.5637	0.02733	793	483	173	137
68	Good news. Your tuber is benign.	1.5601	0.02763	741	444	179	118
69	Try a different nose for the congestion.	1.5592	0.02734	735	435	189	111
70	It appears it's all in your head.	1.5588	0.02840	655	381	182	92
71	I'm worried about your potassium level.	1.5584	0.02825	634	362	190	82
72	Would you be open to plastic inserts?	1.5561	0.02797	624	352	197	75
73	Great news. Your gender reassignment surgery will be a breeze.	1.5559	0.02764	725	433	181	111
74	The operation will take about three seconds.	1.5526	0.02804	646	373	189	84
75	No need to be alarmed, it's just a sprout.	1.5519	0.02834	645	376	182	87
76	Welcome to your new life in Witness Protection	1.5509	0.02899	648	387	165	96
77	I've never had a patient with such a morbid fear of sour cream.	1.5508	0.02912	581	332	178	71
78	In layman's terms, you're a couch potato.	1.5494	0.02816	668	395	179	94
79	No worries. These days people will understand if you want to become Mrs. Potato Head.	1.5491	0.02753	703	417	186	100
80	My advice is to stay away from mayonnaise, mustard, celery, green peppers, and sliced eggs	1.5453	0.02887	607	354	175	78
81	Just tell me how you got up there.	1.5443	0.02941	610	363	162	85
82	First, how did you get up on the examination table?	1.5430	0.02856	639	379	173	87
83	Are you sure this is your first plastic surgery?	1.5421	0.02808	605	346	190	69
84	Get plenty of rest and stay in a cool, dark cellar.	1.5398	0.02888	591	344	175	72
85	I suggest you quit while you're a head.	1.5392	0.03051	612	380	134	98
86	Viagra won’t help. The only thing I can suggest is that you keep looking around until you find it.	1.5392	0.03212	549	340	122	87
87	You Tuber?	1.5383	0.03137	509	299	146	64
88	It's a simple procedure, if we can find a right ear donor.	1.5378	0.03054	569	343	146	80
89	Fortunately for you, I did my residency at the Mayo Clinic.	1.5363	0.03024	619	385	136	98
90	From my assessment, it looks like you really need to get off the couch more often.	1.5354	0.02878	594	348	174	72
91	Now, how much time do you spend on the couch?	1.5331	0.02838	619	366	176	77
92	Now, let's see if we can turn that frown upside down.	1.5328	0.02897	610	365	165	80
93	Now what’s this about having eyes in the back of your head?	1.5296	0.03106	557	342	135	80
94	If you could please remove your hat and eyes, we can take a look.	1.5294	0.03047	510	297	156	57
95	Ireland? Really? Of all the places in the world you want to go to Ireland?	1.5288	0.03201	469	275	140	54
96	So what brings you to the Mayo Clinic?	1.5285	0.03832	386	243	82	61
97	As we suspected, it’s a tuber.	1.5272	0.03212	514	315	127	72
98	the good news is that we have lots of replacement parts!	1.5269	0.03114	520	312	142	66
99	You might want to put your sad eyes on for this...	1.5258	0.03030	542	324	151	67
100	Good news. Your abdominal scan showed nothing.	1.5219	0.03093	548	337	136	75
101	It says here that you have a fear of frying.	1.5211	0.04396	261	158	70	33
102	I’m glad to see you gave up the pipe.	1.5202	0.03135	494	295	141	58
103	The good news is that we can complete the sex change operation in about a minute	1.5193	0.03268	493	305	120	68
104	I think we can give you a new nose without too much trouble.	1.5190	0.03046	499	293	153	53
105	Just for fun, I'd like to run some tests putting your ears where your eyes go and turning your nose upside down	1.5187	0.03273	509	320	114	75
106	So, how's the knee?	1.5164	0.03216	488	298	128	62
107	The problem seems to be all in your head.	1.5154	0.03285	456	276	125	55
108	Good news The prostate exam found nothing. Absolutely nothing.	1.5135	0.04253	296	186	68	42
109	Unfortunately, the copay is an arm and a leg.	1.5132	0.03383	454	282	111	61
110	Have you checked under the couch?	1.5102	0.03520	392	238	108	46
111	We're going to have to just push it back in and hope it stays on.	1.5099	0.03679	353	213	100	40
112	II’m afraid it is tuberculosis	1.5096	0.03277	471	291	120	60
113	Frankly, it's all in your head	1.5095	0.03270	475	294	120	61
114	It’s simple. We take the old one out, and put a new one in.	1.5094	0.03405	424	259	114	51
115	Well we typically don’t recommend such frequent facial reconstruction	1.5094	0.03144	481	290	137	54
116	If it falls off again, don’t panic.	1.5090	0.03363	442	272	115	55
117	It’s the blight. If there’s been anyone other than the Mrs. you should notify them.	1.5081	0.03601	372	226	103	43
118	There's no easy way to say this, but the tuber has spread throughout your entire body.	1.5079	0.03373	443	274	113	56
119	As long as you keep your eyes peeled, you won't need glasses	1.5069	0.03620	432	281	83	68
120	Let's pop out those eyes and have a look, shall we?	1.5067	0.03588	446	292	82	72
121	Says here you're from Maine. I would have guessed Idaho.	1.5046	0.03250	434	260	129	45
122	Your carbohydrates are complex.	1.5036	0.03364	411	248	119	44
123	Touching your toes is not enough exercise.	1.5012	0.03689	401	259	83	59
124	On the plus side, most of your parts can be replaced.	1.5012	0.03410	415	255	112	48
125	We have you scheduled for rearrangement on Thursday.	1.5000	0.03387	386	230	119	37
126	You have a 102 degree fever, sir; what we call a hot potato.	1.4980	0.04300	255	156	71	28
127	A vasectomy will prevent you from having tater tots.	1.4941	0.03420	427	269	105	53
128	All the results were good. But I'd like to send you for a microwave.	1.4934	0.03644	377	238	92	47
129	It's the carbs.	1.4922	0.03556	384	240	99	45
130	So, Mr. Head, how long have you had this fear of frying?	1.4908	0.03691	381	245	85	51
131	Cute. But I need more specifics than "I yam how I yam."	1.4894	0.03592	376	236	96	44
132	I’m not sure if turning you into Mrs. Potato Head is legal in Florida.”	1.4852	0.03899	371	249	64	58
133	We do need a first name.	1.4846	0.03848	324	204	83	37
134	But you DO have eyes in back of your head!	1.4846	0.03897	324	206	79	39
135	And substances? How often do you get "baked?"	1.4828	0.03417	408	257	105	46
136	What do you mean when you say you feel “empty inside?”	1.4817	0.03812	328	207	84	37
137	You’re not going to like my attachable glove.	1.4793	0.04256	338	237	40	61
138	We’ve talked about this; I can get you new ears anytime, but only in pink.	1.4783	0.03718	345	219	87	39
139	Gender affirming treatment, in your case, is relatively straightforward. I'll go get the parts out of my toy box.	1.4772	0.04016	329	218	65	46
140	Well I think we can rule out the prostate.	1.4767	0.03812	365	242	72	51
141	I don't give this advice to many other patients, but with a couple pounds of butter and a few pounds of bacon, you'll be just right.	1.4762	0.03669	357	228	88	41
142	You’re spending to much time on the couch.”	1.4759	0.03807	353	231	76	46
143	Great news, you're in top shape. The missus and I would like to have you for dinner.	1.4742	0.04139	291	189	66	36
144	And it just pops right off?	1.4738	0.03862	325	209	78	38
145	You have an STD. Seems that lady potato you were with last week was an I-da-ho.	1.4737	0.04007	342	231	60	51
146	You definitely need to get off the couch more often.	1.4737	0.03442	361	222	107	32
147	It appears there’s too much starch in your diet.	1.4732	0.03861	336	219	75	42
148	Please remove your shoes and eyes.	1.4728	0.03618	349	220	93	36
149	To summarize, you are having difficulty getting yourself back together.	1.4726	0.03835	328	211	79	38
150	I'm afraid it's a brain tuber.	1.4720	0.03857	339	222	74	43
151	Your problems are all in your head.	1.4713	0.03974	331	220	66	45
152	Mr. PoTAYto or PoTAHto?	1.4708	0.03898	342	227	69	46
153	It's just a head cold.	1.4697	0.03719	330	209	87	34
154	I see that you declined knee replacement surgery.	1.4691	0.03967	324	214	68	42
155	So, tell me about this position McDonald's offered you.	1.4677	0.03920	310	200	75	35
156	Your test results came back - your vitamin C is good, your potassium is good, your carbs are a little high...	1.4659	0.03594	352	224	92	36
157	I can refer you to an excellent six year old.	1.4658	0.03708	322	203	88	31
158	Now pass me your ears and we'll check your hearing.	1.4658	0.04097	292	191	66	35
159	The x-ray shows you’ll be a vegetable for the rest of your life.	1.4656	0.04028	320	214	63	43
160	I'm not peeling well	1.4655	0.03862	333	219	73	41
161	Congratulations! You've been voted Speaker of the House.	1.4644	0.04367	295	204	45	46
162	When did you first notice that your body parts are, as you say, “interchangeable”?	1.4642	0.03690	321	202	89	30
163	In your case, gender reassignment consists primarily in removing the mustache.	1.4641	0.04010	306	201	68	37
164	Well, that depends on how you define "vegetative state".	1.4640	0.04063	278	178	71	29
165	The bad news: your eyes are failing. The good news: you can grow more.	1.4635	0.03846	315	203	78	34
166	Sprouting is normal at your age, just keep the hat on	1.4633	0.03784	313	199	83	31
167	More Bad news, it looks like your beginning to sprout!	1.4627	0.04305	268	177	58	33
168	I think it's all in your head	1.4623	0.04125	292	193	63	36
169	I replace knees. I don’t add knees.	1.4604	0.03832	328	215	75	38
170	Okay, now I just need you to remove your accessories and put on a gown.	1.4601	0.03725	326	209	84	33
171	How frequently is it that you find your eyes in your ears?	1.4598	0.03908	311	203	73	35
172	Turns out, it’s all in your head.	1.4596	0.04094	272	175	69	28
173	I know how to put a smile back on your face.	1.4589	0.04152	292	195	60	37
174	I’m referring you to a plastic surgeon.	1.4585	0.04058	301	200	64	37
175	I can only tell you one thing: avoid very hot places in France.	1.4582	0.04023	299	197	67	35
176	So, your chart says you're not peeling well?	1.4561	0.03790	296	187	83	26
177	Please remove your nose.	1.4560	0.03738	318	204	83	31
178	We ran the paternity test- the tater tots are definitely yours	1.4557	0.04017	305	203	65	37
179	Unfortunately the scans do show a tuber.	1.4555	0.04274	281	190	54	37
180	You should get off the couch more.	1.4545	0.03790	341	227	73	41
181	And for your Advanced Directive, mashed, boiled, or double-baked?	1.4545	0.04014	308	206	64	38
182	The good news is you’re a benign tuber.	1.4543	0.03928	317	211	68	38
183	I strongly suggest you avoid sour cream, chives and bacon bits.	1.4539	0.03937	293	190	73	30
184	It appears to be all in your head.	1.4533	0.04240	289	197	53	39
185	You might want to put your worried face on for this, Mr Potato Head...	1.4527	0.04108	296	199	60	37
186	Could you remove your hat and shoes please? And your eyes and ears and nose and mouth.	1.4526	0.04108	285	189	63	33
187	Mr. Head, I'm referring you for a game called 'Operation.'	1.4508	0.04236	244	157	64	23
188	So we don't have that part in stock, but I can order it for you.	1.4508	0.04315	244	159	60	25
189	Your feelings of paranoia are completely justified. There's a lot of eyes on you.	1.4505	0.03876	293	189	76	28
190	I’m afraid you’ll never be able to have tots.	1.4505	0.04053	293	195	64	34
191	Stay away from cooking oil, butter, sour cream, and spend less time on the couch.	1.4498	0.04295	289	200	48	41
192	Please remove your hat. And nose. And ears.	1.4498	0.03975	289	189	70	30
193	Well sir, we found you a donor. There’s a kid having a garage sale in New Jersey.	1.4498	0.04438	249	167	52	30
194	Very sorry, Mr. Potato. Your insurer didn't approve the new features for you	1.4498	0.04213	249	161	64	24
195	I have some half-baked ideas of what’s wrong with you and if we let the chips fall where they may, I think we can boil down to the problem.	1.4494	0.04180	267	176	62	29
196	Well, I guess that's what makes the difference between a stud and a spud.	1.4489	0.03870	352	243	60	49
197	It’s perfectly normal to feel sore after body parts are pushed into your head.	1.4476	0.04005	286	188	68	30
198	Please remove your jacket.	1.4472	0.04025	284	187	67	30
199	I'm prescribing 350º for 2 hours.	1.4472	0.03963	284	185	71	28
200	You report having 'pain in the neck.' Where exactly is that?	1.4468	0.04138	282	189	60	33
201	Be grateful it’s not a headache.	1.4466	0.04096	262	170	67	25
202	You need to get off the couch and exercise more.	1.4460	0.04120	278	185	62	31
203	OK, take off your hat, eyebrows, eyes, ears, nose, moustache, lips and shoes, and let’s have a look at you.	1.4457	0.04343	267	182	51	34
204	I’m ordering an MRI. Are you microwave-safe?	1.4441	0.04153	286	194	57	35
205	Yes, I can prescribe Viagra, but that doesn't solve your real problem.	1.4437	0.03933	293	193	70	30
206	I'm going to send you to an ear, nose, and hat specialist.	1.4436	0.04188	266	177	60	29
207	And how are the tots?	1.4433	0.03951	300	200	67	33
208	Sprouting is totally normal at your age	1.4425	0.03992	287	190	67	30
209	Results show that all your parts are in the right place.	1.4419	0.03991	258	165	72	21
210	Let me make sure I have this correct, you say a door in your buttocks will not stay closed?	1.4412	0.04467	272	192	40	40
211	I completely understand your fear of going under the knife.	1.4410	0.04599	229	155	47	27
212	Removing your nose is a simple procedure, a 5-year-old could do it.	1.4401	0.04022	284	189	65	30
213	Actually, I would describe it more as a detachment disorder.	1.4400	0.04574	225	151	49	25
214	Take a long hot bath, add butter and salt and call me at 6 pm.	1.4399	0.03932	316	215	63	38
215	To remove it, we'll go in through the shoes.	1.4396	0.04074	273	181	64	28
216	Call me if your temperature stays above 400 degrees for an hour.	1.4393	0.04494	239	162	49	28
217	I see here you're from Idaho.	1.4393	0.04571	239	164	45	30
218	Mr. Quayle, I have updated your chart to your preferred pronouns of potatoe/potatoe/potatoe.	1.4390	0.04245	246	162	60	24
219	You have a terrible case of Pringles.	1.4389	0.04590	221	148	49	24
220	Your starch levels are dangerously elevated.	1.4387	0.03946	269	174	72	23
221	I am afraid you have an inoperable tuber.	1.4380	0.04566	242	167	44	31
222	How are you peeling today?	1.4362	0.04241	243	160	60	23
223	Sadly, it's all going to have to come off. But then we'll stick it back on.	1.4354	0.04026	271	179	66	26
224	You've been spending too much time on the couch.	1.4332	0.04381	247	168	51	28
225	Honestly, I think it’s all in your head.	1.4314	0.04278	255	173	54	28
226	You might want to change into your sad eyes for this.	1.4311	0.04612	225	154	45	26
227	I haven't seen a case like this since I worked in a MASH unit.	1.4311	0.04346	225	148	57	20
228	Your spud pressure is high.	1.4308	0.04339	253	173	51	29
229	The good news is, your transplant will be child's play.	1.4301	0.04079	272	183	61	28
230	I've got your test results. Exactly how much time are you spending on the couch?	1.4301	0.04163	279	192	54	33
231	I’m afraid your MRI shows a massive tuber.	1.4286	0.04350	252	173	50	29
232	Your rhinoplasty should be very straightforward. Even a child could do it.	1.4279	0.04289	229	151	58	20
233	In order to proceed with your prostate exam, I'm going to need a little ketchup.	1.4279	0.04744	208	142	43	23
234	Of course, there's always a butter option	1.4267	0.04651	225	156	42	27
235	You're a potato. You need a botanist not a doctor.	1.4267	0.04477	225	152	50	23
236	Avoid butter and sour cream, and in particular hot oil.	1.4266	0.04489	218	146	51	21
237	If you avoid butter and sour cream, you should be fine.	1.4264	0.04274	258	177	52	29
238	Ancestry.com confirms it. You're 60% Irish and only 40% Idaho Spud.	1.4262	0.04379	244	167	50	27
239	Since when did you stop feeling like a hot potato?	1.4258	0.04226	256	174	55	27
240	Stay away from butter and sour cream. Chives are ok.	1.4250	0.04352	240	163	52	25
241	I'm sad to have to tell you this, you have tuberculosis.	1.4244	0.04338	238	161	53	24
242	Sadly , I’m afraid you might have tuber-culosis.	1.4244	0.04419	238	163	49	26
243	Luckily, our daycare center found a matching right arm for you.	1.4238	0.03936	269	178	68	23
244	Only 2 eyes. At your age there’s usually more.	1.4231	0.04514	234	162	45	27
245	It's pretty normal at your age to be worried about leeks	1.4229	0.03995	253	166	67	20
246	I'm going to recommend that you stay away from salt, butter and sour cream.	1.4221	0.04176	263	180	55	28
247	You can keep the mustache, but shoes and hat off, too, please.	1.4219	0.04051	237	154	66	17
248	So, tell me how you got on the table?	1.4213	0.04697	235	168	35	32
249	Diet and exercise. Cut out the butter and sour cream, and get up off the couch.	1.4211	0.04220	247	167	56	24
250	And how long has it been since you've seen your knees?	1.4208	0.04115	259	175	59	25
251	First off,how the hell did you get on that table?	1.4204	0.04361	245	169	49	27
252	Actually in your case baking would be just as bad as frying.	1.4199	0.04472	231	159	47	25
253	Your 23 and Me results indicate that you are half Irish and one quarter each Yukon Gold and Idaho Russet	1.4198	0.04672	212	146	43	23
254	I recommend less time on the couch.	1.4189	0.04331	222	148	55	19
255	Has anyone ever told you your symptoms are all in your head?	1.4188	0.04388	234	160	50	24
256	I can treat you, but it's gonna cost an arm and a leg.	1.4185	0.04442	227	155	49	23
257	We'll need to be a bit creative with the colonoscopy	1.4182	0.04724	220	155	38	27
258	Nothing a little sour cream and chives won't fix.	1.4180	0.04147	256	174	57	25
259	Any history of GMOs in your family?	1.4179	0.04595	201	135	48	18
260	I'm sorry, but your health insurance says we can't put you back together again.	1.4175	0.04599	194	129	49	16
261	A gender reassignment surgery should be fairly straightforward.	1.4174	0.04199	242	163	57	22
262	There's nothing that we can do. You are going to be a vegetable for the rest of your life.	1.4167	0.04789	216	153	36	27
263	I'm afraid it's not in your head.	1.4167	0.05081	192	136	32	24
264	If your temperature is over 425 degrees for more than 30 minutes, take two pats of butter and call me for dinner.	1.4163	0.04605	233	165	39	29
265	First question, how did you get up on the table?	1.4155	0.04694	219	154	39	26
266	Here’s the good news. The tuber is benign.	1.4155	0.04465	219	149	49	21
267	I have a half-baked idea	1.4151	0.04422	212	142	52	18
268	I recommend spending a little less time on your couch.	1.4151	0.04522	212	144	48	20
269	I’m afraid we can’t attach THAT!	1.4149	0.04169	241	162	58	21
270	At this point, I'd advise against any more implants.	1.4149	0.04410	241	168	46	27
271	You need to spend less time on the couch and more in the gym.	1.4148	0.04279	229	154	55	20
272	I say Mr. Potāto, but your chart says Mr. Potäto."	1.4147	0.04588	217	150	44	23
273	And what gender were you assigned at birth? Male, female, or russet?	1.4144	0.04689	222	157	38	27
274	I’ll actually be able to preform the rhinoplasty in minutes.	1.4143	0.04502	210	142	49	19
275	What are your pronouns?	1.4136	0.05044	191	135	33	23
276	And, do you want to stay on life support if you become a vegetable?	1.4130	0.04442	247	175	42	30
277	Your MRI shows that you have a torn ro-tater cuff.	1.4127	0.04739	189	128	44	17
278	You understand that I can't check your prostate if you don't bring you prostate, right?	1.4123	0.04760	228	165	32	31
279	The chives are okay, but I'd lay off the butter and sour cream."	1.4120	0.03939	250	165	67	18
280	I recommend a full body peel followed by hydrotherapy and of course, plenty of butter.	1.4110	0.04312	236	162	51	23
281	I think your fear of butter and sour cream is perfectly normal.	1.4099	0.04462	222	153	47	22
282	All of your appendages are in the right holes, so what seems to be the problem?	1.4098	0.04307	205	135	56	14
283	You need to cut down on the sour cream.	1.4095	0.04054	232	153	63	16
284	If you keep up your health behaviors, you’ll be six feet under ground and thriving in no time.	1.4093	0.04615	215	150	42	23
285	I want you to spend less time sitting on the couch.	1.4089	0.04463	225	156	46	23
286	I have your test results. You may want to put on your sad eyes.”	1.4088	0.04885	181	124	40	17
287	Mr. Head, I’m afraid your request for a penis has been turned down by Hasbro.	1.4086	0.05197	186	134	28	24
288	I see you've had a number of plastic surgery procedures.	1.4085	0.04299	213	142	55	16
289	Does Mrs. Potato Head know you never had that missing part?	1.4083	0.04567	218	152	43	23
290	Now if you could remove your mouth and insert your tongue and say, Ahh.	1.4082	0.04195	245	168	54	23
291	Normally I would advise caution, but in your case, a nose job should be relatively simple.	1.4082	0.04781	196	136	40	20
292	As your dermatologist, I’m going to recommend a peel.	1.4079	0.04286	228	155	53	20
293	Actually the eyes growing on the back of your head are part of the normal aging process.	1.4076	0.04629	211	147	42	22
294	Your temperature is 400. 350 is the normal range.	1.4072	0.04335	221	150	52	19
295	You have SPUDS.	1.4069	0.04503	231	163	42	26
296	I’m going to write a prescription for sour cream.	1.4068	0.04181	236	160	56	20
297	So, you want to be a sweet potato	1.4064	0.04709	187	127	44	16
298	The headaches are caused by your plug-in hat."	1.4061	0.04538	197	133	48	16
299	The tests show you’re only half-baked	1.4059	0.04403	202	135	52	15
300	Your blood work suggests you should eat less starch and lose the mustache .	1.4057	0.04310	212	142	54	16
301	I’m afraid it’s tuber-culosis.	1.4057	0.04413	212	144	50	18
302	I suggest you put on your 'concerned' eyebrows for what I'm about to tell you	1.4051	0.04452	195	130	51	14
303	Your carbs are off the charts.	1.4048	0.04543	210	145	45	20
304	There is some good news. Most of your problem areas are replaceable.	1.4047	0.04610	215	151	41	23
305	Plain and simple. You need to give up the bacon bits.	1.4039	0.04550	203	139	46	18
306	Good morning! How do you identify yourself? Russet, Red, Yukon, Purple, Baked, Fried, or Mashed?	1.4038	0.04545	213	148	44	21
307	We’ll change some parts around and turn you from ‘spud’ to ‘stud’ in no time…	1.4035	0.04948	171	117	39	15
308	When did you first notic your genitals were missing?	1.4032	0.04598	186	125	47	14
309	Your arm isn't 'dislocated', it's missing.	1.4031	0.04752	191	132	41	18
310	Could be it’s all in your head.	1.4027	0.04398	226	157	47	22
311	I see here you are French, and are allergic to hot oil?	1.4020	0.04637	204	142	42	20
312	Avoid butter, sour cream and chives.	1.4018	0.04241	224	152	54	18
313	Please remove your hat, your shoes and your eyeballs.”	1.4008	0.04163	237	162	55	20
314	I suggest applying extreme heat, sour cream and chives.	1.4000	0.04341	220	151	50	19
315	Let’s start with you removing those shoes from your chin.	1.4000	0.04895	180	125	38	17
316	Feeling 'fried' in what sense?	1.4000	0.04265	195	128	56	11
317	When did it fall off, exactly?	1.4000	0.04738	185	127	42	16
318	I imagine you're something of a couch potato?	1.3991	0.04367	228	159	47	22
319	I'm sorry Mr. Head, but until Hasbro starts making adult prosthetics, there's nothing I can do about your erectile dysfunction."	1.3990	0.04569	208	145	43	20
320	Good news! You won't need a hip replacement!	1.3990	0.04719	208	148	37	23
321	Four years of med school, six years of residency, and I still can’t figure out how you got up on that table.	1.3990	0.04669	208	147	39	22
322	I'm going to need you to take your eyes, ears, nose, mouth, mustache, eyebrows, hat, arms and legs out so that I can get a good look.	1.3990	0.04825	193	136	37	20
323	How long have you been feeling half-baked?	1.3989	0.04621	188	128	45	15
324	The fertility test confirms the tater tots ARE yours.	1.3981	0.04764	211	152	34	25
325	Try to avoid the Cooties.	1.3981	0.04950	211	156	26	29
326	Your potassium levels are off the charts.	1.3981	0.04548	206	143	44	19
327	Luckily it’s easy to remove	1.3980	0.04715	196	137	40	19
328	My first question is “How did you get up there?”	1.3967	0.04936	184	130	35	19
329	It’s not a tuber.	1.3961	0.04782	207	149	34	24
330	no really, how did you get up there?	1.3960	0.04611	202	141	42	19
331	For that type of change, you need to travel to another state.	1.3957	0.04757	187	130	40	17
332	And then we'll just pop a new one on!	1.3956	0.04659	182	124	44	14
333	Of course it's a headache.	1.3956	0.05154	182	132	28	22
334	...and I would also stay away from vegetable oil.	1.3946	0.04854	185	130	37	18
335	Let's see if we can't turn that frown upside down.	1.3941	0.04375	203	138	50	15
336	This will most likely cost you an arm and a leg.	1.3937	0.04415	221	155	45	21
337	I highly recommend you avoid deep fried foods, sour cream, cheese and bacon	1.3934	0.04415	211	146	47	18
338	I promise, after the operation, you'll feel a lot butter...I mean, better.	1.3933	0.04593	178	120	46	12
339	The bad news is that the accident left you in a permanent vegetative state. The good news is that you’re still eligible to run for reelection.	1.3930	0.04677	201	142	39	20
340	In your case, gender reassignment surgery is so simple a child could do it. But they don't take insurance.	1.3927	0.04968	191	138	31	22
341	I've put your eyes and nose back on, but I can't find your other ear."	1.3925	0.04566	214	152	40	22
342	The competency test results are in. You're perfectly fit to be President.	1.3916	0.05252	166	119	29	18
343	Sorry, but THAT'S not included in your attachments.	1.3915	0.04656	189	131	42	16
344	and how often do you, uh, swap pieces with the Mrs.?	1.3913	0.04920	161	110	39	12
345	No couch for at least two months, sir.	1.3909	0.04521	197	136	45	16
346	So, I see you have concerns about your left eye and lips falling out continually?	1.3905	0.04450	169	111	50	8
347	Good news; the results of your skin test were delicious.	1.3905	0.04627	210	150	38	22
348	A pair of red kissy lips requires no anesthesia and only takes a second.	1.3904	0.04574	228	166	35	27
349	Stomach pain, you say? I’m afraid it’s all in your head.	1.3901	0.04289	223	155	49	19
350	I’d say you are a good transplant candidate.	1.3901	0.04652	182	125	43	14
351	I'd like to try a French procedure.	1.3900	0.04415	200	137	48	15
352	You need to cut out the starch	1.3898	0.04943	177	125	35	17
353	We're going to need a hash brown sample.	1.3895	0.04813	190	135	36	19
354	You could call it sweet potato,but I believe the technical term for what you have is Diabetes	1.3895	0.04870	190	136	34	20
355	Take off your hat. And also remove your nose and ears.	1.3894	0.04350	208	143	49	16
356	Any travel to Ireland in the last thirty days?	1.3892	0.04786	185	130	38	17
357	You say that both your mother and father both passed from the production of vodka?	1.3889	0.04973	162	112	37	13
358	Turns out it was just ketchup!	1.3880	0.04567	183	125	45	13
359	False alarm. It’s a tuber, not a tumor.	1.3878	0.04647	196	138	40	18
360	Yes hat and shoes off too!	1.3876	0.04722	178	123	41	14
361	You need to say no to all the fixings.	1.3876	0.04722	178	123	41	14
362	On average how many times a week would you say you’re getting baked?	1.3876	0.04855	178	125	37	16
363	Let's try staying away from butter, salt, and sour cream and see where that gets us first..	1.3876	0.04640	209	150	37	22
364	I'm glad to see you've found your feet.	1.3873	0.04568	204	144	41	19
365	This procedure requires what we call a "peeler."	1.3871	0.04641	186	129	42	15
366	You say at your retirement party, they were going to roast you?	1.3871	0.04826	186	132	36	18
367	You say you identify as an apple ?	1.3864	0.04893	176	124	36	16
368	Any relation to Tommy Tuberville?	1.3861	0.04599	202	143	40	19
369	It's a simple enough surgery. Unfortunately, it will be performed by children.	1.3855	0.04884	166	115	38	13
370	Of course you're depressed. You're a couch potato.	1.3850	0.04804	187	133	36	18
371	Sorry, outside of Idaho, your insurance only covers emergencies.	1.3846	0.04837	182	129	36	17
372	So you lost your grandparents in the famine?	1.3846	0.04961	182	131	32	19
373	So you say you're missing an important part?	1.3846	0.05261	156	111	30	15
374	In your specific case, the arm transplant is a minimally invasive, outpatient procedure.	1.3846	0.04965	169	119	35	15
375	The good news is we found your glasses.	1.3838	0.04461	185	126	47	12
376	Just stay away from the gravy and you should fine.	1.3833	0.04874	180	128	35	17
377	It's nothing to worry about. Buds are a perfectly normal sign of aging.....	1.3832	0.04358	214	150	46	18
378	The sprout we biopsied came back benign.	1.3829	0.04561	175	119	45	11
379	You have trouble walking, you say?	1.3827	0.04468	196	136	45	15
380	So this time when I say take everything off, I just mean your hat and shoes..	1.3825	0.04689	183	128	40	15
381	That’s a common misconception. The oil actually makes the dry skin crispier.	1.3824	0.04455	204	143	44	17
382	My recommendation is to avoid high heat, dairy, bacon, and scallion.	1.3822	0.04669	191	135	39	17
383	Stay away from the butter and sour cream.	1.3822	0.04727	191	136	37	18
384	Please, detach your right arm and raise it above your head.	1.3818	0.04746	165	113	41	11
385	The brain activity test results are in: you're a total vegetable.	1.3817	0.04696	186	131	39	16
386	I’m afraid you’re starting to sprout.	1.3813	0.05006	160	112	35	13
387	Now remove your right eye, what's the smallest letter you can see?	1.3812	0.04788	181	128	37	16
388	Good news! It is a tuber, but it's benign.	1.3804	0.04604	184	128	42	14
389	I would advise you to stay away from butter and sour cream.	1.3803	0.04214	213	147	51	15
390	You’ve got nothing that a little Sour Cream and Bacon Bits won’t cure	1.3800	0.05153	150	105	33	12
391	Well to start with you don’t need a knee replacement.	1.3800	0.04570	200	142	40	18
392	The ear surgery will be a snap	1.3799	0.04693	179	125	40	14
393	The specialist will be in to see you once she's done with her milk and cookies.	1.3799	0.04625	179	124	42	13
394	ALL of your ancestors succumbed to McDonalds?	1.3793	0.04627	203	146	37	20
395	Sorry, substituting the moustache with puffy red lips and the cowboy hat with a big curly wig is illegal in Florida.	1.3791	0.05328	153	110	28	15
396	Without insurance, this is going to cost you an arm and a leg.	1.3789	0.04682	190	135	38	17
397	And last name Head?	1.3787	0.04885	169	119	36	14
398	The good news is that in your case, a gender change would be a simple outpatient procedure.	1.3785	0.04795	177	125	37	15
399	The good news is that you have the same build as Mr. Trump.	1.3785	0.05182	177	131	25	21
400	Oops - these results are for Mr. PoTAHto.	1.3784	0.05012	185	136	28	21
401	I'm afraid the only way to keep you alive is strict avoidance of butter, sour cream, cheese and, especially, salt.	1.3781	0.04327	201	139	48	14
402	Good news, you're a nonmalignant tubor!	1.3779	0.04753	172	120	39	13
403	No matter how many ways you disguise yourself, I cannot give you anymore painkillers.	1.3778	0.04737	180	127	38	15
404	Well, Mr. P, it looks like you knee removal surgery was a complete success.	1.3778	0.05054	180	132	28	20
405	We could try radiation, or we could just pop it off and put in a new one.”	1.3775	0.04763	204	150	31	23
406	In your case gender reassignment surgery would actually be quite simple.	1.3774	0.04580	212	154	36	22
407	Mr. Potatohead, the eye on your back is not cancerous.	1.3770	0.04681	183	129	39	15
408	Without insurance, I’m afraid it will cost you an arm and a leg	1.3770	0.05051	183	135	27	21
409	Lets see: plastic, devoid of a soul, and owned by a multi-billion dollar corporation. Have you by chance considered politics?	1.3767	0.05424	146	105	27	14
410	If you could remove your shoes, hat, and mustache, we can get started	1.3767	0.05156	146	102	33	11
411	I'll consult eBay about your nose transplant."	1.3766	0.05299	154	111	28	15
412	The problem is, you're a potato.	1.3765	0.05328	162	119	25	18
413	I also have roots in Idaho.	1.3764	0.04839	178	127	35	16
414	So, you're feeling uprooted?	1.3758	0.04992	149	103	36	10
415	Referring to them as "small potatoes" may not be giving your children a healthy self-image.	1.3758	0.05224	157	113	29	15
416	That isn't blood. That's ketchup.	1.3750	0.04522	192	135	42	15
417	I can assure you it is phantom knee pain	1.3750	0.05296	144	102	30	12
418	Your potassium is quit high	1.3750	0.04437	208	148	42	18
419	Your only surgery option is, unfortunately, plastic.	1.3743	0.04408	179	122	47	10
420	I’d recommend putting on your brave face.	1.3742	0.05006	163	116	33	14
421	Have you tried popping it back in again?	1.3736	0.04629	182	128	40	14
422	Looks like you're in a persistent vegetative state. So a clean bill of health!	1.3736	0.04982	174	126	31	17
423	Bad news, I'm afraid: It's a brain tuber.	1.3736	0.05178	174	129	25	20
424	So it says here you've already had 123 nose jobs.	1.3733	0.05313	150	108	28	14
425	Is that with an e?	1.3733	0.05397	150	109	26	15
426	Are your tater tots regular?	1.3731	0.04377	201	141	45	15
427	I’m afraid it’s bad news. They used glue.	1.3729	0.04984	177	129	30	18
428	Unfortunately, you’ve started to sprout.	1.3729	0.04919	177	128	32	17
429	But with plastic surgery, YOU get to decide what you look like.	1.3725	0.04441	204	145	42	17
430	Good news, you appear to be as fit as a fingerling.	1.3723	0.04648	188	134	38	16
431	Cut down on the butter, sour cream and salt.	1.3721	0.04885	172	123	34	15
432	The test was inconclusive: the tater tot may - or may not - be yours.	1.3720	0.05129	164	119	29	16
433	The transitioning process is simpler than you might expect.	1.3720	0.05055	164	118	31	15
434	It looks as though your insurance doesn't cover plastic surgery.	1.3717	0.04473	191	134	43	14
435	As we feared, it’s tuberculosis.	1.3714	0.04686	175	123	39	13
436	This is gonna cost you a shoe and an ear.	1.3709	0.05284	151	109	28	14
437	Mr. Potatohead, I see here that you are a Supreme Court Judge?	1.3709	0.05367	151	110	26	15
438	Despite having had your hip replaced by a six-year-old, I'd say you're in pretty good shape.	1.3706	0.05063	170	124	29	17
439	Good news...everything seems to be in the right place	1.3706	0.04256	197	136	49	12
440	... and avoid fried foods.	1.3704	0.04362	216	155	42	19
441	You have several options: mash, scallop, fry. Or you can always choose the do nothing approach which would be couch.	1.3704	0.04945	162	115	34	13
442	I'm writing you a prescription for pants.	1.3702	0.04961	181	133	29	19
443	Before we do the MRI, we’ll need to poke a few holes in you with a fork.	1.3697	0.04435	211	152	40	19
444	You and Mrs. Potato might want to hold off exchanging parts for awhile...	1.3693	0.04868	176	127	33	16
445	I’m afraid you are a potato.	1.3690	0.05105	168	123	28	17
446	The nurse will be in shortly to snap in your new right arm.	1.3684	0.04731	152	104	40	8
447	I can do the procedure, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.	1.3684	0.04757	171	121	37	13
448	So you got baked last night, and loaded?	1.3681	0.04750	182	131	35	16
449	It's stuck where?	1.3681	0.04350	182	125	47	10
450	I’m afraid we’re going to have to remove your eyes, ears, nose, mouth, arms, mustache, eyebrows, hat, and shoes.	1.3681	0.05146	163	119	28	16
451	In your case, it's really a fairly simple transition.	1.3673	0.05116	147	104	32	11
452	So I assume you worked from your couch while living in Idaho?	1.3672	0.05040	177	131	27	19
453	I will state the obvious: Your hat is too small for your face.	1.3672	0.04502	177	123	43	11
454	I advise against the chemical peel.	1.3669	0.05417	139	100	27	12
455	I can make you much better by simply adding some salt	1.3669	0.04568	169	117	42	10
456	And you said you did the nose job yourself?	1.3669	0.04794	169	120	36	13
457	The tests did find a tuber.	1.3669	0.04867	169	121	34	14
458	I'm sorry, but we found a tuber.	1.3669	0.04939	169	122	32	15
459	It looks like you only have another three weeks, unless you’re kept in the crisper.	1.3665	0.04881	161	114	35	12
460	Do you pronounce it "Po-tay-toe" or "Po-tah-toe?"	1.3661	0.04854	183	134	31	18
461	Are you familiar with the phrase; You are what you eat?	1.3659	0.04818	164	116	36	12
462	The only drawback to using medical marijuana for you, sir, is maybe being called a ‘baked potato’ from time to time.	1.3659	0.05045	164	119	30	15
463	According to the tests it's all in your head.	1.3659	0.04818	164	116	36	12
464	You need plastic surgery.	1.3656	0.04673	186	134	36	16
465	Hmm...I see - you're a complex carb.	1.3653	0.04979	167	121	31	15
466	So you want a facelift...	1.3650	0.04846	137	93	38	6
467	You need to spend less time on the couch, Mister.	1.3646	0.04828	181	132	32	17
468	We have three treatment options available, baked, fried or boiled.	1.3646	0.04446	192	136	42	14
469	And you just popped it back in?	1.3643	0.05385	140	101	27	12
470	You’re way better off than Mr Dumpty. With you, we can just replace a few pieces.	1.3643	0.05572	140	103	23	14
471	Says here when you go out you don’t feel fully dressed.	1.3642	0.04650	151	103	41	7
472	Good news on BAKED and BOILED. But your numbers on FRIED are concerning.	1.3636	0.05306	165	124	22	19
473	On the bright side you can turn that frown upside-down.	1.3636	0.05020	165	120	30	15
474	Well at least you can touch your toes	1.3636	0.04794	165	117	36	12
475	I’m sorry to inform you that you’re unable to have any tots.	1.3632	0.04659	190	138	35	17
476	Blood pressure is normal, but starch levels are through the roof…	1.3631	0.04599	179	127	39	13
477	Actually, Bill, I can replace everything.	1.3631	0.04733	168	119	37	12
478	You are spineless, but don't despair. Your condition is compatible with many career paths.	1.3631	0.05203	157	115	27	15
479	Your chart says you've been experiencing stabbing pain in the top of the head, eyes, ears, nose, mustache, mouth, arms, and feet.	1.3630	0.05525	135	98	25	12
480	Maybe you should consider spending less time on the couch.	1.3626	0.04890	171	124	32	15
481	I'm concerned about your eyes, but they can be replaced.	1.3625	0.04815	160	113	36	11
482	You should quit while you're a head.	1.3624	0.05405	149	110	24	15
483	We'll try to get you under the knife around Thanksgiving.	1.3623	0.04926	138	95	36	7
484	Is there an "e" on the end?	1.3621	0.04760	174	125	35	14
485	We can definitely do something about that nose	1.3621	0.04545	174	122	41	11
486	I'm prescribing you more marijuana. The test results show you're only half-baked.	1.3620	0.04753	163	115	37	11
487	My wife says it's all in my head.	1.3613	0.05249	155	114	26	15
488	Your complex carbohydrates are a little high.	1.3611	0.04578	180	128	39	13
489	So the good news is, we've found your pipe...	1.3611	0.05179	144	103	30	11
490	Sorry about the waiting room, I share the office with a pediatrician.	1.3611	0.05084	144	102	32	10
491	A little peeling is to be expected at your age.	1.3609	0.04857	169	122	33	14
492	I’d tell you to cut down on the carbs, but…	1.3608	0.04854	158	112	35	11
493	We can rule out a knee problem.	1.3605	0.05194	147	106	29	12
494	It's your eyes - they're starting to sprout everywhere.	1.3600	0.05375	150	111	24	15
495	How the hell do I test your reflexes?	1.3598	0.05035	164	120	29	15
496	Actually, a gender change to Ms. Potato Head may be less expensive than you think.	1.3595	0.04873	153	108	35	10
497	Results are back. You're Ore-Ida.	1.3593	0.05182	167	125	24	18
498	I'm a knee and hip Doctor.	1.3593	0.05041	167	123	28	16
499	I'm most concerned with your inability to carry a wallet."	1.3593	0.04821	167	120	34	13
500	Why the long face?	1.3593	0.04746	167	119	36	12
501	Good news - all your sprouts are benign.”	1.3593	0.05182	167	125	24	18
502	It's as I'd suspected: tuber-culosis.	1.3588	0.05426	131	94	27	10
503	I need to examine your eyes. Please hand them over.	1.3585	0.04910	159	114	33	12
504	I don’t see anything wrong, you seem pretty well put together to me.	1.3585	0.04990	159	115	31	13
505	Your plastic surgery will be performed by kids age 2 and up.	1.3580	0.04766	162	115	36	11
506	And with a simple procedure we can assign you whatever gender you want	1.3580	0.05111	176	133	23	20
507	Sadly, the replacement parts aren’t covered by your insurance.	1.3580	0.04783	176	128	33	15
508	Your blood sugar's a little high. Even for a sweet potato.	1.3580	0.04503	176	124	41	11
509	I’m sorry. That’s the one part I can’t replace.	1.3576	0.05083	165	122	27	16
510	First, go ahead and attach your "shocked" eyebrows.	1.3575	0.04590	179	128	38	13
511	Your results are in. You better grab your frown.	1.3571	0.04847	154	109	35	10
512	How did your penis fall off?	1.3571	0.04934	154	110	33	11
513	How did you get on the table?	1.3571	0.05425	154	116	21	17
514	I’m going to ask you to remove your shoes, hat, eyes and arms, please.	1.3571	0.04668	182	132	35	15
515	I think you'll find that sour cream and chives will agree with you.	1.3571	0.04577	154	106	41	7
516	Bad news. It's tuberculosis.	1.3567	0.05192	157	116	26	15
517	I am going to put a smile on your face!	1.3567	0.04867	157	112	34	11
518	How did you get up there?	1.3562	0.05043	160	117	29	14
519	When I said to avoid starches, I didn't mean your family.	1.3562	0.05119	146	105	30	11
520	You'll feel much better if you put on your smiley mouth.	1.3558	0.04821	163	117	34	12
521	Do you pronounce it Potayto or potahto?	1.3557	0.04749	194	145	29	20
522	What do you mean your nose falls off?	1.3556	0.05511	135	99	24	12
523	It’s a tuber	1.3550	0.04774	169	122	34	13
524	Unfortunately, we can't find a giant lips donor match.	1.3548	0.05317	155	116	23	16
525	Have you considered plastic surgery?	1.3546	0.05243	141	102	28	11
526	Just pop everything out and someone will be right with you.	1.3546	0.05339	141	103	26	12
527	I know a specialist, but he's in a daycare.	1.3544	0.04924	158	114	32	12
528	How often do you feel that parts of you are missing?	1.3544	0.05164	158	117	26	15
529	The results are definitive. All of those tots are yours.	1.3540	0.05093	161	119	27	15
530	Good news, Mr. Head. In your case, gender identity is quite easy to change, and is even reversible.	1.3540	0.04528	161	112	41	8
531	Doc, i'm not peeling well	1.3537	0.04950	164	120	30	14
532	Have you tried not storing things in your butt?	1.3536	0.04936	181	136	26	19
533	The good news is we can rule out restless leg syndrome.	1.3533	0.05607	150	115	17	18
534	I'd say that you'd feel better if you cut down on carbs, but then again that would kill you.	1.3533	0.05018	150	108	31	11
535	You're fine. All you need is some sour cream.	1.3533	0.04561	184	133	37	14
536	When did you first notice your torso was missing?	1.3529	0.04965	170	126	28	16
537	You need to lay off the starch.	1.3526	0.04763	173	126	33	14
538	I'm afraid that your crop insurance won't cover this procedure.	1.3526	0.04546	173	123	39	11
539	Take a long hot bath and 2 pats of butter and call me at 6pm	1.3526	0.05048	156	114	29	13
540	You need to cut back on the sugar or you're going to end up vodka.	1.3516	0.05611	128	94	23	11
541	I fully understand your problem sir but really you don't have a leg to stand on.	1.3510	0.05078	151	110	29	12
542	You can't walk because your shoes are on your chin.	1.3510	0.05575	151	116	17	18
543	Before we begin, can you please take off your hat, mustache, eyes, ears, and nose?	1.3510	0.04901	151	108	33	10
544	Cheer up. You weren't this well put together on your last visit.	1.3509	0.04727	171	124	34	13
545	It looks like you're missing a piece.	1.3506	0.04921	154	111	32	11
546	You have to cut down on the carbs.	1.3503	0.05101	157	116	27	14
547	Actually, the nose replacement is going to be much easier than you think.	1.3500	0.04791	160	115	34	11
548	I’ve never seen a BMI so high.	1.3497	0.04730	163	117	35	11
549	An hour at 425° should fix you right up.	1.3497	0.05086	143	103	30	10
550	If you could remove your hat, eyebrows, ears, eyes, mustache, nose, mouth, arms, and feet please.	1.3494	0.05046	166	124	26	16
551	You need to stop eating French fries for both health and ethical reasons.	1.3491	0.04535	169	120	39	10
552	Your results are in. You’ve got eyes growing in the back of your head.	1.3491	0.04836	169	124	31	14
553	Before we consider a transplant, have you checked under the bed?	1.3490	0.05033	149	108	30	11
554	You're in good health in spite of the many puncture wounds	1.3484	0.04539	155	108	40	7
555	It looks like all your parts are in the right place. And trust me, that's not a given.	1.3481	0.04745	158	113	35	10
556	They probably thought you wouldn't need it. You're a toy.	1.3481	0.04829	158	114	33	11
557	I recommend that you lay off the sour cream.	1.3478	0.04601	161	114	38	9
558	Do you prefer Po-TAH-to or Po-TAY-to?	1.3478	0.05005	161	119	28	14
559	Your labs looked fine but the scan showed a large pair of glasses lodged in your rectum…	1.3476	0.05160	164	124	23	17
560	It's tuberculosis.	1.3472	0.05245	144	106	26	12
561	No, my PhD does not stand for Potato Head Doctor.	1.3472	0.05336	144	107	24	13
562	I'm afraid to say... that part did not come in the original package.	1.3471	0.04954	170	127	27	16
563	He forces you into a hot oven and then he eats you? How long have you had this recurring nightmare?	1.3464	0.05021	153	112	29	12
564	The results of your physical exam and your aptitude test is that you would excel at French Fries	1.3462	0.05429	130	95	25	10
565	And do you have any vision problems with the eyes in the back of your head?	1.3459	0.04658	185	137	32	16
566	'A pinch of chives for kicks' is not a diet plan.	1.3457	0.04901	162	119	30	13
567	You have some sprouts that need to be removed.	1.3456	0.05461	136	101	23	12
568	You're in what we call the "Golden Russet Years."	1.3453	0.05178	139	101	28	10
569	It's going to cost you an arm and a leg.	1.3451	0.05198	142	104	27	11
570	They have a name for it now. It's called non-binary."	1.3451	0.05101	142	103	29	10
571	I recommend baking at 425 degrees for 45 minutes.	1.3450	0.04491	171	122	39	10
572	Turns out that rattling in your chest was just an extra arm.	1.3448	0.05027	145	105	30	10
573	Are you still experiencing those stab-like pains?	1.3448	0.05027	145	105	30	10
574	I'm an ear, nose, and throat doctor, so just leave those here and they can see the rest of you next door	1.3444	0.05064	151	111	28	12
575	Unfortunately, you are in the wrong place. I am a veterinarian, and you need a vegetarian.	1.3444	0.05402	151	115	20	16
576	So…you’re from Idaho?	1.3444	0.04703	151	107	36	8
577	my boss thinks I’m baked all the time but really I’m just feeling fried, doc.	1.3443	0.05909	122	92	18	12
578	I'm afraid that part isn't available.	1.3443	0.05554	122	89	24	9
579	Don't you worry. This is going to be the cheapest facelift in the history of plastic surgery.	1.3439	0.04492	157	110	40	7
580	It really is all in your head!	1.3438	0.04779	160	116	33	11
581	I’m sure you’ll find your other arm. Check under the couch.	1.3438	0.04525	160	113	39	8
582	Putting in a lot of hours on the couch, are we?	1.3436	0.04797	163	119	32	12
583	For how long have you been afraid of butter and sour cream?	1.3436	0.04797	163	119	32	12
584	It's gonna cost you and arm and a leg	1.3435	0.04939	131	92	33	6
585	I think we're going to have to cut down on the starch.	1.3432	0.04677	169	123	34	12
586	Cheer up! You're going to live forever ... especially if you can find that box you came in	1.3431	0.05122	137	99	29	9
587	Is there any way to reduce the starch in your diet?	1.3429	0.05147	140	102	28	10
588	I’m sorry you’re not happy with your new nose. My daughter will get that fixed right up for you as soon as she’s done with her nap	1.3429	0.04418	175	125	40	10
589	I think I just ate your mother.	1.3427	0.04666	143	100	37	6
590	Have you tried a different nose and hat?	1.3427	0.04873	143	102	33	8
591	It's bad news, I know. I'm sorry. Would you like me to change your eyebrows to the 'sad' position?	1.3425	0.04998	146	106	30	10
592	And on a positive note, you're already ahead!	1.3425	0.05274	146	109	24	13
593	Now, let's talk about how you're going to get down.	1.3423	0.05196	149	111	25	13
594	Now, how about we turn that frown upside down?	1.3423	0.05108	149	110	27	12
595	And where do you have these stabbing pains?	1.3423	0.04928	149	108	31	10
596	It's an outpatient procedure, the whole thing should take about five seconds.	1.3423	0.04928	149	108	31	10
597	No, I don't think your fear of McDonald's is unnatural at all.	1.3421	0.04487	152	106	40	6
598	Your potassium levels are a little high but other than that you’re fine.	1.3419	0.05132	155	116	25	14
599	You should switch to your surprise eyebrows for this one.	1.3409	0.05359	132	97	25	10
600	Not surprisingly, it's all in your head.	1.3406	0.05294	138	102	25	11
601	Have you noticed your features changing from day to day?	1.3406	0.05091	138	100	29	9
602	I'd suggest working on that stubborn streak, Mr. Tuberville.	1.3406	0.05490	138	104	21	13
603	It’s going to have to be removed, but it’s a very easy procedure.”	1.3404	0.05310	141	105	24	12
604	And just when,Sir,did everything come to a head?	1.3403	0.04944	144	104	31	9
605	I'm concerned about your vegetative state.	1.3400	0.04714	150	107	35	8
606	With your body type, you need to limit starches in your diet.	1.3400	0.04990	150	110	29	11
607	Your x-rays show a pair of glasses, and another mouth in your abdomen, but you’re otherwise quite healthy.	1.3400	0.04808	150	108	33	9
608	Viagra? Really?	1.3400	0.05079	150	111	27	12
609	The good news is we can replace your arm. The bad news is we have to use a leg we found under the couch.	1.3397	0.04939	156	115	29	12
610	You really have to cut back on carbs.	1.3397	0.04769	156	113	33	10
611	I would re-attach it right here, but unfortunately I’m not between the ages of 4-6.	1.3396	0.04873	159	117	30	12
612	I see here you left gender blank.	1.3395	0.04647	162	117	35	10
613	Well that was an interesting colonoscopy	1.3394	0.04748	165	121	32	12
614	Judging by your x-rays, I think there may be a problem with your legs.	1.3392	0.04555	171	124	36	11
615	No more more butter or sour cream for you buddy.	1.3391	0.04856	174	131	27	16
616	Take this twice a day, and keep the arms out of the ear holes.	1.3388	0.05574	121	89	23	9
617	In your case, gender reassignment should be reasonably straightforward.	1.3388	0.04279	183	131	42	10
618	I'm prescribing exercises for your arms.	1.3385	0.05070	130	93	30	7
619	So, how much time do you spend on your couch?	1.3382	0.05544	136	103	20	13
620	So, Timmy made you do what with Barbie?	1.3380	0.05182	142	105	26	11
621	I'm simply pointing out there is more to life than getting baked everyday.	1.3379	0.05290	145	109	23	13
622	The good news is you’re gluten-free.	1.3379	0.04716	145	103	35	7
623	Leg pain? Where?	1.3378	0.05033	148	109	28	11
624	Try to put on a happy face.	1.3377	0.05137	151	113	25	13
625	According to the medical test results, it"s not your imagination... You are a potato..	1.3377	0.04962	151	111	29	11
626	‘ I’m sorry, your face does not qualify as an Ozempic injection site’	1.3377	0.04534	154	109	38	7
627	Your insurance only covers eye removal.	1.3377	0.04980	154	114	28	12
628	Yes sir, with a vasectomy you and Mrs. Potato Head don't have to worry about having any more tots.	1.3377	0.05148	154	116	24	14
629	I want you to stay away from burger joints.	1.3376	0.04478	157	111	39	7
630	Just three words— too many carbs!	1.3376	0.04995	157	117	27	13
631	You stuck WHAT in there?!	1.3374	0.04541	163	117	37	9
632	I gonna ask you to leave your left ear today for additional tests	1.3372	0.04458	172	124	38	10
633	I told you a high-carb diet wouldn't work!	1.3361	0.05758	119	89	20	10
634	Mr. Potato Head, if you want to avoid a painful death, please stay away from Mc. Donald’s.	1.3360	0.05321	125	91	26	8
635	Have you tried pulling it out and putting it back in again?	1.3360	0.05673	125	94	20	11
636	''Is it still Mister?''	1.3358	0.05074	134	97	29	8
637	And you said they stuck your other arm up where exactly?	1.3358	0.05396	134	100	23	11
638	It just fell off !	1.3358	0.05184	134	98	27	9
639	So would you say you've been feeling more baked, mashed or boiled lately?	1.3358	0.05600	134	102	19	13
640	This is a full body exam. Peel.	1.3358	0.05105	137	100	28	9
641	You may call me Doctor. Do you prefer Mr. Head or just Potato?	1.3357	0.05327	140	105	23	12
642	I’m falling apart, doc	1.3357	0.05055	143	105	28	10
643	I’m sorry, but that part has never been available.	1.3356	0.05348	146	111	21	14
644	I am prescribing a hot bath in a medicinal mixture of dry vermouth, chicken broth, and chicken thighs. Give it lots of thyme and it will tranform you!	1.3356	0.05348	146	111	21	14
645	When did you first notice the hat?	1.3355	0.05108	152	114	25	13
646	More gym less couch.	1.3355	0.04602	155	111	36	8
647	You’re fine. It appears that you only make others’ blood sugar to spike.	1.3354	0.04401	161	114	40	7
648	We could switch out your moustache for your hat and see what that does.	1.3354	0.04980	161	121	26	14
649	Your potassium and vitamin C levels are normal, but your carbohydrate reading was rather high.	1.3353	0.04511	173	126	36	11
650	You're okay now, but eventually your eyes will have to come out.	1.3352	0.04876	176	134	25	17
651	I'm sorry, Mr. Potatohead. Hair is considered cosmetic and not covered by your insurance.	1.3333	0.04769	132	93	34	5
652	Do you know you're sprouting eyes on the back of your head?	1.3333	0.05664	114	84	22	8
653	Take off your mouth and say ‘Aaah’.	1.3333	0.04928	144	105	30	9
654	The bad news is you need a knee replacement. The good news is it should be a simple in-and-out procedure.	1.3333	0.05025	144	106	28	10
655	Lose the hat and moustache,add some frilly eyelashes and voila! The sex change will be complete.	1.3333	0.05341	132	98	24	10
656	I've ordered the parts for your gender reassignment. The procedure takes about 30 seconds, unless you also want the bikini peel.	1.3333	0.05177	138	102	26	10
657	How long have you had this version of your face?	1.3333	0.04818	135	96	33	6
658	Good news; gender reassignment for you Mr. Head, should be 'plug and play'.	1.3333	0.05377	138	104	22	12
659	How long have you known you want to come out as a Yam?	1.3333	0.05464	135	102	21	12
660	You appear to have an irrational fear of the French	1.3333	0.05717	120	90	20	10
661	Your results came back starchy	1.3314	0.04339	169	121	40	8
662	Well, it turns out that you never really had a gender anyway.	1.3313	0.04610	163	119	34	10
663	Any new parts?	1.3313	0.04409	160	114	39	7
664	No, I don't think the head-to-toe examination will take long."	1.3311	0.04858	151	111	30	10
665	I had some family in France, and they were all very thin.	1.3311	0.05208	151	115	22	14
666	You look like a whole different person since I last saw you!	1.3310	0.04699	145	104	34	7
667	It's as we suspected... everything is already in the right place.	1.3310	0.05184	145	109	24	12
668	You say potato, I say non deductible medical expense	1.3310	0.05184	145	109	24	12
669	Do you pronounce your name po-TAY-to or po-TAH-to?	1.3310	0.05262	142	107	23	12
670	Good news! Test results confirm you are gluten free!	1.3308	0.05088	133	97	28	8
671	Your biopsy came back delicious.	1.3308	0.05281	130	96	25	9
672	No sir, just because you're French doesn't mean your fate is sealed.	1.3308	0.05503	130	98	21	11
673	We can do the procedure, but it's going to cost you an arm and a leg.	1.3307	0.05483	127	95	22	10
674	This consult for rhinoplasty is unnecessary. Just order a different nose from Hasbro.	1.3306	0.05796	121	92	18	11
675	Mrs. Potato Head will need to be tested as well.	1.3304	0.05757	115	86	20	9
676	The problem is your weight. You need to cut down on the starches.	1.3298	0.04336	191	141	37	13
677	There are strong indicators that you have eyes in the back of your head.	1.3293	0.04763	167	125	29	13
678	Luckily the parts you need are in stock.	1.3289	0.05008	152	114	26	12
679	I could say ditch the carbs, but there goes your raison d’être.	1.3289	0.04830	152	112	30	10
680	That frying sound in your ears is probably just anxiety but if it worries you, just pull them off.	1.3289	0.04897	149	110	29	10
681	Now, let's turn that frown upside down shall we?	1.3289	0.04989	149	111	27	11
682	I can do the sex change but I’m afraid you’re stuck with the pronoun.	1.3288	0.04967	146	108	28	10
683	Still no pulse, if you don't mind, I'd like to stick a fork in you.	1.3287	0.05324	143	109	21	13
684	I’m going to refer you to our specialist in the produce section.	1.3287	0.05230	143	108	23	12
685	Maybe cut down on the salt.	1.3287	0.04940	143	105	29	9
686	Your test results came back negative. Turns out it’s all in your head.	1.3285	0.05294	137	103	23	11
687	When you went to Vegas did you happen to spend time with an Ida-Ho.?	1.3285	0.05294	137	103	23	11
688	I'm afraid you're going to have to cut out starch.	1.3284	0.04943	134	97	30	7
689	I can give you something for that fear of frying.	1.3284	0.05378	134	101	22	11
690	It’s the blight. Anyone other the Mrs. who should be notified?	1.3282	0.05247	131	97	25	9
691	You need to spend less time on the couch.	1.3282	0.05247	131	97	25	9
692	Sir, it says here you're from Idaho .	1.3282	0.05018	131	95	29	7
693	So, you say you were poked in your eyes, with your eyes? Sorry, I'm not following you.	1.3281	0.05216	128	94	26	8
694	Let's start by removing your legs.	1.3281	0.05332	128	95	24	9
695	I've ordered the Mrs Potato-head pieces; we can start your transition in 2 weeks.	1.3280	0.05178	125	91	27	7
696	You've decided you want to become a woman, again? Sure! No problem! This won't hurt a bit!	1.3279	0.05514	122	91	22	9
697	I know you think you have Irish heritage, but your DNA results indicate a Peruvian ancestry.	1.3279	0.05871	122	94	16	12
698	The lab results indicate that it's time to switch out your nose.	1.3276	0.05581	116	86	22	8
699	The bad news: we have to cut out starch. The good news: most of your parts are replaceable.	1.3268	0.04804	153	113	30	10
700	Can you be more specific other than feeling rotten and half-baked?	1.3265	0.05213	147	112	22	13
701	When did you first notice your right ear was gone?	1.3264	0.04709	144	104	33	7
702	I see here your starch levels seem to be very high.	1.3262	0.05083	141	105	26	10
703	We'll have to send you to a toddler for rearrangement.	1.3261	0.05056	138	102	27	9
704	Luckily, your Erectile Dysfunction can be cured with a little plastic surgery.	1.3259	0.05344	135	102	22	11
705	Thanks for describing your symptoms, but my name is not Mr Doctorhead!	1.3258	0.05536	132	101	19	12
706	Everything looks good with the exception of your head.	1.3256	0.04508	172	127	34	11
707	Your new nose is looking great, but my concern is where you put the old one.	1.3254	0.05265	126	93	25	8
708	I’m afraid your head is bigger than your stomach.	1.3253	0.04850	166	126	26	14
709	I don’t think a third eye is a good idea.	1.3252	0.05596	123	93	20	10
710	You have to cut out all starches.	1.3250	0.04738	160	119	30	11
711	You need five new parts and each comes in a range of colours.	1.3250	0.05314	120	88	25	7
712	Well, "No batteries required" is a pretty clear warning not to shove them up there...	1.3248	0.05926	117	90	16	11
713	So you're a couch Potato?	1.3241	0.05168	145	110	23	12
714	I'm afraid you're in a persistent vegetative state.	1.3239	0.05052	142	106	26	10
715	I’m not sure how you’ll get down either. How did you get up?	1.3237	0.05228	139	105	23	11
716	So, do you pronounce your name Pota-to or Potay-to Head?	1.3237	0.05025	139	103	27	9
717	According to the pathology report, it appears to be a tuber.	1.3237	0.05228	139	105	23	11
718	Yes, we can add one of those, but your insurance doesn't cover it.	1.3235	0.05310	136	103	22	11
719	You seem to have entered a vegetative state	1.3235	0.05101	136	101	26	9
720	So, no surprise there, given your potassium content your blood pressure is excellent! I'm not getting any pulse however ...	1.3233	0.04838	133	96	31	6
721	Remember...if you notice growths starting again it means you've been spending too much time indoors.	1.3233	0.05288	133	100	23	10
722	Don’t go mushy on me.	1.3232	0.04489	164	120	35	9
723	OK--so they named a famine after you. Get over it.	1.3228	0.05348	127	95	23	9
724	And if all goes well, you’ll be back on eBay in no time.	1.3226	0.05063	124	90	28	6
725	I recommend cheese, sour cream, chives, bacon bits...oh sorry, that's my grocery list.	1.3226	0.05316	124	92	24	8
726	Once I find where to place my fingers, I’m going to ask you to cough.	1.3223	0.05406	121	90	23	8
727	I see under organ donor consent you put french fries.	1.3221	0.05152	149	114	22	13
728	Yours is a common problem--too much starch.	1.3220	0.05630	118	89	20	9
729	I would recommend less sour cream.	1.3219	0.04655	146	106	33	7
730	Let's just say that your wife's infertility may be related to one of your missing essential parts.	1.3219	0.05228	146	112	21	13
731	Well, a little potato famine wouldn't do you any harm.	1.3217	0.05599	115	86	21	8
732	I know you are tired of hearing it, but it really is all in your head.	1.3214	0.04994	140	104	27	9
733	I’ve got bad news. You only have a shelf life of three weeks.	1.3214	0.05560	112	83	22	7
734	I'll have to remove your nose...	1.3212	0.04962	137	101	28	8
735	You have tuberculosis.	1.3211	0.05664	109	81	21	7
736	Let's turn that mouth over and see if that cheers you up.	1.3209	0.05146	134	100	25	9
737	Sure - we can add more eyes, but it would be cheaper to wait under the sink a few weeks.	1.3209	0.05464	134	103	19	12
738	How are Ida and the tots?	1.3208	0.06222	106	82	14	10
739	And how is Mrs. Potato Head and all the little spuds?	1.3206	0.05114	131	97	26	8
740	You say you're feeling kind of fried?	1.3206	0.04998	131	96	28	7
741	Honestly, this nose job is child's play.	1.3203	0.04605	153	112	33	8
742	You can get a second opinion, but your brain will still be turned to mash.	1.3203	0.04414	153	110	37	6
743	This motherfucker	1.3200	0.05859	125	98	14	13
744	Your transition is going to be very straightforward, physically, but have you prepared yourself for the opinions of those who have no right to judge you?	1.3200	0.05518	125	95	20	10
745	No, not a brain tuber.	1.3200	0.04853	150	112	28	10
746	You’ve cut out salt, sugar and fat, now you need to work on the starch.	1.3194	0.05088	144	109	24	11
747	It's actually completely normal. Just keep track of them so you can put them back in later.	1.3193	0.05054	119	86	28	5
748	I'm really sorry, but, we're found several new eyes.	1.3193	0.05328	119	88	24	7
749	We can rearrange things, but basically you’ll still be a potato.	1.3190	0.05281	116	85	25	6
750	It says here you sit on the couch all day.	1.3185	0.05221	135	102	23	10
751	No matter how you slice it, you're still a potato.	1.3185	0.05428	135	104	19	12
752	It says here you're not peeling well.	1.3185	0.04893	135	99	29	7
753	So we did find some interesting things during the rectal exam.	1.3185	0.04785	157	118	28	11
754	Sir, I'm fairly certain you can remove that yourself.	1.3182	0.05469	110	81	23	6
755	Yes, it can be somewhat traumatic, Mr. Head. However, many would consider interchangeable parts a considerable advantage in life.	1.3182	0.05193	132	99	24	9
756	What is there specifically about people sticking things on you that you don’t like”.	1.3182	0.05469	110	81	23	6
757	So... How many packets of ketchup would you say you consume in a typical week?	1.3182	0.05909	110	84	17	9
758	So your mother was twice baked,you father was hashed. What about the tots?	1.3182	0.05517	132	102	18	12
759	I’m afraid you have a brain tuber.	1.3179	0.05093	151	116	22	13
760	The good news is it's a tuber, not a tumor.	1.3178	0.04920	129	94	29	6
761	Before I get to your CT scan results, can you briefly explain how you got up there?	1.3178	0.05042	129	95	27	7
762	Yes, I’m an ophthalmologist, but you’re going to have to see a proctologist about your eyes.	1.3178	0.05879	107	81	18	8
763	In the most professional way possible, I am going to have to ask you to open your butt.	1.3175	0.05363	126	95	22	9
764	It says you’re here for a nose job, an arm job, a leg job, an ear job…	1.3175	0.05243	126	94	24	8
765	I may need to refer you plastic surgeon.	1.3175	0.05243	126	94	24	8
766	My diagnosis is that your decisions to work from home AND get a Netflix subscription have caused you to become a couch potato.	1.3172	0.04962	145	109	26	10
767	Only two eyes. You have little chance of reproducing.	1.3171	0.05074	123	90	27	6
768	The knee replacement is out, but a nose job is an option.	1.3169	0.04511	142	102	35	5
769	You say that life is just pulling you apart...	1.3167	0.05421	120	90	22	8
770	I’m sorry to have to tell you that your growth spurt is over.	1.3165	0.04498	158	116	34	8
771	Cut back on the starch.	1.3162	0.05381	117	87	23	7
772	Are you sure you want a nose job? The procedure could take as much as 45 seconds.	1.3162	0.04953	117	84	29	4
773	You have too few eyes for a potato of your age.	1.3162	0.04862	136	100	29	7
774	For the tenth time: you don't have tuberculosis	1.3162	0.05081	136	102	25	9
775	I see that you're a bit of a couch potato.	1.3161	0.04461	155	113	35	7
776	Mrs. Potato Head says you always whip yourself into a frenzy right before Thanksgiving” What’s that about	1.3158	0.05616	114	86	20	8
777	I'd suggest going home and relaxing in a tub full of butter or sour cream.	1.3155	0.04635	168	127	29	12
778	Oh, I’m sorry. Mr. Po-tah-to Head.	1.3154	0.04770	149	111	29	9
779	So, what brings you in here today? Let me guess, you can't decide if your mind is fried, or just half-baked?	1.3154	0.05354	130	99	21	10
780	Actually, replacing all your features is a lot less trouble than you might have thought.	1.3154	0.05241	130	98	23	9
781	Good news---we found a leg donor."	1.3153	0.05427	111	82	23	6
782	There’s a lump on your neck. I’m sending you to the eye doctor.	1.3151	0.04636	146	107	32	7
783	And for your tater tots, we also offer pediatric care.	1.3151	0.05212	146	113	20	13
784	Sir, I'm not sure I'm qualified to talk about detachment issues...	1.3150	0.05443	127	97	20	10
785	It's "DOCTOR Peoplehead" to you, sir.	1.3148	0.05681	108	81	20	7
786	It's just a mild case of feigned Republican hysteria. I'm prescribing a grain of salt.	1.3145	0.05168	124	92	25	7
787	Exercise is the only cure for Couch Pototoe syndrome.	1.3145	0.04816	159	121	26	12
788	You shouldn't be upset. A lot of people see their relatives at McDonald's.	1.3145	0.04816	159	121	26	12
789	Your fertility test shows you're not able to have tots.	1.3143	0.05373	140	109	18	13
790	I'm sorry, but it's now illegal for us here in Idaho to give you any gender-affirming changes, Mx Potatohead.	1.3143	0.05948	105	80	17	8
791	Would you consider becoming an organ donor?	1.3143	0.05296	105	76	25	4
792	Good news. Your xray shows nothing.	1.3143	0.04871	140	104	28	8
793	I'm afraid we've found a tuber.	1.3140	0.04984	121	88	28	5
794	Sorry, you need to cut down on starches and carbs.	1.3139	0.05155	137	104	23	10
795	So Mr. Tuberville...may I call you Tommy?	1.3139	0.05258	137	105	21	11
796	So it's what I suspected, Tuberculosis.	1.3139	0.05155	137	104	23	10
797	On second thought, why don't we just skip the colonoscopy.	1.3137	0.04771	153	115	28	10
798	We're going to refer you to our ear, nose, eyes, hat, moustache, shoes and pants specialist.	1.3137	0.05034	153	118	22	13
799	I can prescribe Velcro for the hat slippage.	1.3136	0.05476	118	89	21	8
800	How are you peeling lately?	1.3134	0.04903	134	99	28	7
801	You appear to be unusually high in potassium.	1.3133	0.04836	150	113	27	10
802	Your carb levels are very high."	1.3129	0.04904	147	111	26	10
803	The diagnostic testing indicates that the problem is all in your head.	1.3129	0.04904	147	111	26	10
804	Another nose job?	1.3125	0.05234	112	82	25	5
805	You need to take better care of yourself. Replacement parts are much harder to come by now.	1.3125	0.05406	128	98	20	10
806	Is that "potato" or "potahto"?	1.3125	0.05173	128	96	24	8
807	I know you and your wife want children, but you’ll have to settle for tots.”	1.3121	0.04945	141	106	26	9
808	You're never going to guess where we found your glasses.	1.3121	0.05046	141	107	24	10
809	Your colonoscopy yielded some interesting results.	1.3120	0.05133	125	93	25	7
810	I see you've grown arms and feet. You should've quit while you were a head.	1.3119	0.06210	109	86	12	11
811	I’m sorry but there is no insertion site for the part you are requesting	1.3116	0.04911	138	103	27	8
812	Now that you're out in the sun, be careful not to peel.	1.3116	0.04911	138	103	27	8
813	You're not Mr. H. Dumpty??	1.3115	0.05216	122	91	24	7
814	According to your labs, it looks like you've been spending a lot of time on the couch.	1.3115	0.04950	122	89	28	5
815	I need a spudum sample.	1.3115	0.05470	122	93	20	9
816	It appears you've had an excessive amount of facial reconstructive work done.	1.3113	0.05899	106	81	17	8
817	I am very sorry Mr Potato Head but that part is no longer available ".	1.3108	0.04968	148	113	24	11
818	More exercise . And maybe cut the carbs.	1.3107	0.06019	103	79	16	8
819	You probably shouldn’t borrow your wife’s eyes even if they are a similar prescription.	1.3106	0.05173	132	100	23	9
820	I'm afraid we can't accept parts of your body as payment.	1.3106	0.05283	132	101	21	10
821	Let's start with your legs. You don't have any.	1.3103	0.05532	116	88	20	8
822	Well…let’s remove that ear and take a look.	1.3101	0.04643	129	93	32	4
823	As your doctor I can't have you for dinner, but as your friend I can.	1.3101	0.05019	129	96	26	7
824	So you were born Russet but identify now as Kennebec?	1.3101	0.05255	129	98	22	9
825	If only managing depression was as simple as sticking a smile onto your face.	1.3097	0.05195	113	83	25	5
826	I’m Dr. Quayle. Is that Potato or Potatoe ?	1.3097	0.05633	113	86	19	8
827	It turns out that when your wife called you a malignant tuber she wasn't too far off.	1.3097	0.05907	113	88	15	10
828	I'm afraid it will cost you an arm and a leg.	1.3095	0.04842	126	92	29	5
829	I'm sorry -- that piece wasn't in the box...	1.3095	0.04972	126	93	27	6
830	We found some unexpected things during your colonoscopy.	1.3095	0.05341	126	96	21	9
831	I specialize in eyes, ears, nose, throat, hat, shoes, and mustache.	1.3091	0.05441	110	82	22	6
832	I have a filet mignon in the next room. I think you two would make a perfect pair.	1.3089	0.04916	123	90	28	5
833	Everything looks in place.	1.3089	0.05049	123	91	26	6
834	Is that potato with an "e"?	1.3087	0.04656	149	111	30	8
835	The news isn't great, but I need you to put on a happy face.	1.3083	0.05265	120	90	23	7
836	And those roots are coming out of, where?	1.3083	0.05131	120	89	25	6
837	Do you remember when it was last attached?	1.3083	0.05265	120	90	23	7
838	I'm going to prescribe a nose with no mustache and a bigger smile mouth	1.3077	0.04280	169	125	36	8
839	I'm sorry to tell you that you have Potato Head.	1.3077	0.05216	117	87	24	6
840	Unfortunately the C-scan shows a large tuber	1.3077	0.05333	130	100	20	10
841	I’m happy to report that all of your appendages were retrieved during the colonoscopy.	1.3077	0.05552	130	102	16	12
842	I'm happy to say your surgery was a great success. Everything is back in the right place.	1.3077	0.04783	143	107	28	8
843	Let's see about getting you some legs.	1.3067	0.04725	150	113	28	9
844	Well, the good news is you will never have any knee problems.....	1.3066	0.05340	137	107	18	12
845	I am afraid of people threatening to rearrange my face.	1.3065	0.05144	124	93	24	7
846	Good news. I didn't find any soft spots.	1.3065	0.05631	124	97	16	11
847	Your repeated marijuana use has led to a condition we call "twice baked".	1.3065	0.05513	124	96	18	10
848	I understand you’re feeling empty inside	1.3065	0.05513	124	96	18	10
849	Well, everything seems to be in the right place this time.	1.3065	0.05015	124	92	26	6
850	Your gender reassignment surgery will only take two minutes.	1.3063	0.06110	111	88	12	11
851	'I'm giving you a prescription for a handle bar mustache, a top hat and huge four finger hands'	1.3061	0.06052	98	75	16	7
852	Well you sure have gotten the starch knocked out of you.	1.3060	0.04881	134	100	27	7
853	And you're sure it's your knee that's bothering you, Mr. Head?	1.3058	0.05609	121	94	17	10
854	Now tell me if it hurts if I switch your hat for your eyeball.	1.3058	0.05485	121	93	19	9
855	I'm prescribing new ears, eyes and nose.	1.3058	0.05228	121	91	23	7
856	Mr. Potatohead, your bloodwork indicates you have way too much starch in your diet	1.3056	0.04546	144	106	32	6
857	I suspect that you spend a little too much time on the couch.	1.3053	0.05185	131	100	22	9
858	Unfortunately,your symptoms appear to be all in your head.	1.3053	0.05297	131	101	20	10
859	I’m going to order some sides.	1.3053	0.04953	131	98	26	7
860	Let me just check in my junk drawer to see if I can find you another ear.	1.3051	0.05178	118	88	24	6
861	I’m sorry. It’s blight.	1.3050	0.05127	141	109	21	11
862	We could perform a French frie-ectomy to make you thinner but there are risks!	1.3048	0.06071	105	82	14	9
863	And you say you keep these multiple personas...in your butt?	1.3048	0.06071	105	82	14	9
864	It appears there have been some complications around your gender reassignment surgery.	1.3047	0.05029	128	96	25	7
865	We can rule out any trauma to the knee.	1.3047	0.05384	128	99	19	10
866	How long have you felt half baked.	1.3047	0.05268	128	98	21	9
867	I’m sorry, there’s nothing we can do. To put it bluntly, you’re baked.	1.3043	0.05408	115	87	21	7
868	Fortunately, you're an ideal candidate for a transplant.	1.3041	0.04950	148	114	23	11
869	I hope it isn't inappropriate to say, but I'm a big fan of your work in Toy Story.	1.3040	0.04980	125	93	26	6
870	I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to move around some things.	1.3040	0.05591	125	98	16	11
871	Wait, ALL of your parts are interchangeable?.	1.3040	0.05591	125	98	16	11
872	Well, it's not 'restless leg syndrome'	1.3040	0.05355	125	96	20	9
873	You’re looking very put together today; what seems to be the problem?	1.3040	0.05108	125	94	24	7
874	You have 20-20-20-20-20-20 vision.	1.3040	0.05355	125	96	20	9
875	The procedure has a risk of choking hazard,small parts.	1.3039	0.05709	102	77	19	6
876	My recommendation? A change of face, and you’re a new man.	1.3037	0.05180	135	104	21	10
877	Those extra eyes should probably be removed.	1.3037	0.04734	135	100	29	6
878	The bad news is we have to replace three vital organs. The good news is you don’t require surgery.	1.3036	0.05649	112	86	18	8
879	Your temperature at 350 is concerning me.	1.3033	0.04923	122	90	27	5
880	I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you haven't been watching your carbs . . . .	1.3032	0.04330	155	114	35	6
881	Please don't leave your mouth at the dentist's next time.	1.3028	0.04792	142	107	27	8
882	I'm afraid your carb levels are just off the scales.	1.3028	0.04996	142	109	23	10
883	Prickly sensations in the face...any other problems?	1.3028	0.04996	142	109	23	10
884	I don't think you have a leg to stand on."	1.3028	0.05607	109	83	19	7
885	Any replacement surgeries I should be aware of?	1.3025	0.05411	119	91	20	8
886	We were able to successfully remove the extra eyes.	1.3023	0.05116	129	98	23	8
887	You're in okay shape, but do you really want to go to France?	1.3023	0.05677	129	103	13	13
888	The results of your rectal exam were . . . interesting.	1.3022	0.04860	139	105	26	8
889	I’m afraid it’s all in your head	1.3020	0.04538	149	111	31	7
890	You need to lose some weight. I recommend we remove your hat, nose, mustache, and feet.	1.3016	0.05318	126	97	20	9
891	You passed the fork test.	1.3015	0.04819	136	102	27	7
892	And how long have you been spelling your name with an "e"	1.3015	0.05040	136	104	23	9
893	Where's your other ear?	1.3009	0.04850	113	82	28	3
894	It appears to be root-rot	1.3009	0.05606	113	87	18	8
895	My diagnosis? Idaho.	1.3009	0.05316	113	85	22	6
896	It's a simple procedure, but it'll cost you and arm and a leg.	1.3008	0.05155	123	93	23	7
897	Your eyes, nose and ears will have to come off.	1.3008	0.05024	123	92	25	6
898	I'm afraid that type of softening comes with age.	1.3008	0.05648	123	97	15	11
899	"So, how do you say 'potato'?"	1.3008	0.05407	123	95	19	9
900	I'm sure you already know this, but you really need to avoid getting baked or fried.	1.3008	0.05407	123	95	19	9
901	So sometimes it feels as if your facial features are rearranged?	1.3008	0.05407	123	95	19	9
902	Good news. Your blight, sprouts, and tuber-culosis tests came back normal."	1.3008	0.04889	133	100	26	7
903	Your overall condition suggests you've been spending too much time on the couch.	1.3008	0.05117	133	102	22	9
904	Not gonna sugarcoat it - you have blight.	1.3008	0.05005	133	101	24	8
905	You’re fine. It’s all in your head.	1.3007	0.05064	143	111	21	11
906	Your stress is almost certainly job-related. Can you find work somewhere other than McDonald's?	1.3000	0.05238	140	110	18	12
907	That IS the problem. You do have eyes in the back of your head.	1.3000	0.05422	130	102	17	11
908	I'm not actually that kind of plastic surgeon.	1.3000	0.04963	130	98	25	7
909	So where were you when you last saw your right arm?	1.3000	0.05081	130	99	23	8
910	Well Mrs. Potatohead,your tests results from Hasbro indicate your transition will be a snap!	1.3000	0.05774	100	76	18	6
911	I have a couple of half-baked ideas for your treatment.	1.3000	0.05104	120	90	24	6
912	You have no legs.	1.2993	0.04671	147	111	28	8
913	Good news! No parts are missing.	1.2993	0.04789	137	103	27	7
914	Gender reassignment surgery is fairly easy in your case.	1.2993	0.04900	137	104	25	8
915	We weren’t able to do the colonoscopy.	1.2993	0.04900	137	104	25	8
916	It says here that your final wishes are to be baked and not mashed.	1.2993	0.04900	137	104	25	8
917	OK you're labs are clear, but you should stay away from butter, sour cream, cheese, bacon, salt, & of course anything fried.	1.2992	0.04913	127	95	26	6
918	It says here you lost some family members in a horrible hash brown incident?	1.2991	0.05328	117	89	21	7
919	I recommend you cut back on the carbs.	1.2991	0.05188	117	88	23	6
920	You say you have a family history of removable parts.	1.2991	0.05188	117	88	23	6
921	The good news is, you are indeed a potato. The bad news is, I'm hungry.	1.2991	0.05328	117	89	21	7
922	There is also a French treatment option. I like it but I don’t think you will.	1.2991	0.05510	107	81	20	6
923	Well, what can I say...you are what we eat.	1.2991	0.05347	107	80	22	5
924	Your BMI is perfect, for a potato.	1.2990	0.05707	97	73	19	5
925	The success of your surgery will depend on the parts department .	1.2990	0.05317	97	71	23	3
926	Perfectly normal	1.2990	0.05892	97	74	17	6
927	Plastic surgery is your only option.	1.2990	0.05892	97	74	17	6
928	You need to cut down on starch.	1.2987	0.04619	154	117	28	9
929	It says here that you also have a bucket of parts?	1.2986	0.04836	144	110	25	9
930	Can you be more specific about how your life is falling to pieces?	1.2985	0.04972	134	102	24	8
931	You might want to go easy on the sour cream for a while.	1.2985	0.04858	134	101	26	7
932	Congratulations on the birth of your tater tots.	1.2984	0.05245	124	95	21	8
933	You've changed since we last met.	1.2984	0.05369	124	96	19	9
934	I'm afraid I have bad news for you. You'll be baked in a week.	1.2984	0.05245	124	95	21	8
935	Mr. po-TAH-to? Sorry if I'm miss-pronouncing it.	1.2984	0.04989	124	93	25	6
936	You're spending way too much time on the couch	1.2982	0.05563	114	88	18	8
937	Put on your happy face.	1.2982	0.05421	114	87	20	7
938	Sorry we called you in before your test results were ready. Big misunderstanding when I asked the nurse for Head.	1.2981	0.06092	104	82	13	9
939	I'm sorry, Mr Head - your soft gray blemishes have metastasized and you have no pulse. Do you have a Do Not Mash Me order in place?	1.2981	0.05937	104	81	15	8
940	Your headaches are likely related to the plastic spike jammed into your skull.	1.2979	0.04905	141	108	24	9
941	For a potato your age, that is a perfectly normal amount of eyes.	1.2977	0.04809	131	98	27	6
942	I've seen tuberculosis before, but this is ridiculous.	1.2977	0.04809	131	98	27	6
943	You’ll have to tell Mrs Potato-head that Amazon no longer sells that part	1.2975	0.05333	121	93	20	8
944	I'll step outside while you take off your face.	1.2975	0.05202	121	92	22	7
945	So, Mr. Russett, I'm prescribing Atkins.	1.2973	0.05808	111	87	15	9
946	OK, if you could just remove your hat and shoes, as well as your mustache, ears, eyes, arms and eyebrows I'll start the exam.	1.2970	0.06221	101	80	12	9
947	Why, yes, I would say we are more than the sum of our parts. Why do you ask?	1.2970	0.05724	101	77	18	6
948	No more stuffing yourself with butter, bacon and sour cream.	1.2970	0.05179	101	74	24	3
949	Well, you're looking chipper, Mr. Potatohead...er, sorry!	1.2969	0.05005	128	97	24	7
950	Good news. The tests came back today and you're a benign tuber.	1.2969	0.05245	128	99	20	9
951	You need to stay off the couch and get more exercise.	1.2969	0.05245	128	99	20	9
952	Hmm, so it looks like tuber-culosis.	1.2969	0.05005	128	97	24	7
953	The genetic test is positive -- Irish-Russian.	1.2966	0.05289	118	90	21	7
954	It seems you’re eating too much starch.”	1.2966	0.05150	118	89	23	6
955	So your chart lists your occupation as “You Tuber.” Tell me more about that.	1.2963	0.05305	108	81	22	5
956	I'm sorry, I can't recommend a knee replacement.	1.2963	0.05773	108	84	16	8
957	Congrats, You are a perfect donor for your wife.	1.2960	0.05208	125	96	21	8
958	You're starch level is too high , you have a lot of dirt in your ears , but your eyes are fine .	1.2957	0.04779	115	84	28	3
959	Way too many carbs.	1.2957	0.05236	115	87	22	6
960	At your age, the first thing to go is the legs.	1.2957	0.05380	115	88	20	7
961	Good news! You show no signs of being half-baked.	1.2957	0.05089	115	86	24	5
962	Sorry, We can exchange everything but at your core, you’ll still be a potato.	1.2955	0.04898	132	100	25	7
963	Do you have a history of French fries in your family?	1.2955	0.05456	132	105	15	12
964	I recommend cutting back on salt, butter and sour cream...	1.2953	0.04903	149	116	22	11
965	Okay, according to your chart, last name “Potato,” first name “Head.” And the reason for your visit is “Legs too short to dance.” Do I have that right, Mr Head?	1.2952	0.05567	105	80	19	6
966	Your request to become Mrs. Potato Head is possible, just take of your hat and mustache!	1.2951	0.05544	122	96	16	10
967	Fine. Get a second opinion, but I’ll still be a doctor and you’ll still be a potato.	1.2951	0.05421	122	95	18	9
968	This is a routine exam, no need for me to take you apart.	1.2947	0.06147	95	74	14	7
969	You’ve got three options: baked, fried or, my personal recommendation, mashed with butter and chives.	1.2946	0.05476	112	86	19	7
970	As I suspected,it appears to be a rather sizable tuber.	1.2946	0.05327	112	85	21	6
971	Were you in Idaho during the pandemic?	1.2946	0.04971	129	98	24	7
972	So is your advanced directive baked or French fries?	1.2941	0.05384	119	92	19	8
973	Looks like we are still waiting for your insurance to approve the prior authorization to remove your hat.	1.2941	0.05250	119	91	21	7
974	I'm sorry to have to tell you, but you've got tuber-culosis.	1.2941	0.05843	102	79	16	7
975	BMI is not short for boiled, mashed or instant.	1.2941	0.05642	119	94	15	10
976	Headaches - got it. Any pain in the lower body?	1.2937	0.04637	143	108	28	7
977	My advice—go easy on the carbs.	1.2937	0.04845	143	110	24	9
978	You might want to pop in your angry eyes before you hear this.	1.2937	0.05294	126	98	19	9
979	Your vision is great! 20/20/20/20/20/20/20/20!	1.2937	0.05294	126	98	19	9
980	Now, for your tuber-culosis vaccine.	1.2937	0.04921	126	95	25	6
981	Sorry, but I don’t know of any way you can save face.	1.2937	0.04790	126	94	27	5
982	Take two pats of butter and call me in the morning.	1.2937	0.04790	126	94	27	5
983	So you feel like you have eyes growing out of the back of your head?	1.2936	0.05099	109	81	24	4
984	I’m having a hard time pulling myself together Doc - I really got smashed last night!	1.2936	0.05422	109	83	20	6
985	Actually, your lucky not to have any. Knees are nothing but trouble.	1.2936	0.05422	109	83	20	6
986	No worries your health is fine. You’ll live forever. You’re made of plastic.	1.2936	0.05873	109	86	14	9
987	Well, I have to admit that your sex reassignment surgery was much easier than I anticipated.	1.2932	0.04626	133	99	29	5
988	You seem to be addicted to plastic cosmetic procedures.	1.2932	0.04866	133	101	25	7
989	If you find your other ear, do come in so I can take a look.	1.2932	0.04501	133	98	31	4
990	The test confirms that you have eyes in the back of your head.	1.2932	0.04981	133	102	23	8
991	No worries, not being able to find your extremities comes with aging.	1.2932	0.05094	133	103	21	9
992	A little sour cream and some chives and you'll be perfect.	1.2931	0.05051	116	87	24	5
993	Really, I need you naked for a complete physical. No hat. No shoes.	1.2931	0.05051	116	87	24	5
994	I can do the nose job, but I'll have to order the part.	1.2929	0.05788	99	76	17	6
995	Last question: How did you hop up there?	1.2929	0.05788	99	76	17	6
996	I’m referring you to a potiarist.	1.2929	0.05964	99	77	15	7
997	If the kids won’t give you your right arm back, we can order one.	1.2929	0.05607	99	75	19	5
998	But you identify as a french fry.	1.2929	0.05420	99	74	21	4
999	Have you considered becoming an organ donor?	1.2927	0.05257	123	95	20	8
1000	As I told you at your last exam, your high potassium levels are hereditary.	1.2927	0.05382	123	96	18	9
1001	Only two eyes but otherwise perfectly healthy.	1.2927	0.05128	123	94	22	7
1002	They're all interchangeable, really. We could, say, put your ear where your nose is...	1.2927	0.04861	123	92	26	5
1003	So you lost your right arm?	1.2925	0.05356	106	80	21	5
1004	I’m sorry sir, but the problem appears to be entirely in your head.	1.2925	0.05990	106	84	13	9
1005	You have a large tuberous growth, located, well, I guess you'd say, all over	1.2925	0.05522	106	81	19	6
1006	Actually, you are in pretty good shape for your age, I have never seen a potato with just two eyes!	1.2923	0.04690	130	97	28	5
1007	The procedure went excellent Mr. Head, all your parts are back in place.	1.2923	0.04429	130	95	32	3
1008	Seriously, you need to get off the couch once in a while.	1.2923	0.04690	130	97	28	5
1009	Let's talk about carbs.	1.2920	0.05433	113	87	19	7
1010	Have you tried getting off the couch?	1.2920	0.04978	113	84	25	4
1011	I'd recommend you stay away from oil.	1.2917	0.05345	120	93	19	8
1012	It won’t be so easy this time. You need a new liver.	1.2917	0.05908	96	74	16	6
1013	Well, sir, we now understand why Mrs. Potato Head has been unable to conceive.	1.2917	0.05908	96	74	16	6
1014	You gotta lower your carb intake.	1.2909	0.05379	110	84	20	6
1015	I'd suggest laying off the starchy foods.	1.2908	0.04884	141	109	23	9
1016	In order to do a full physical, I'll need you to take your hat off. And how did you get up there without a stool?	1.2906	0.05571	117	92	16	9
1017	Unfortunately,Mr. Head,all the available donor organs have square pegs.	1.2906	0.05702	117	93	14	10
1018	So I see the facial reconstruction surgery went well!	1.2906	0.05159	117	89	22	6
1019	The good news is you don’t have varicose veins; the bad news is you don’t have legs!	1.2906	0.05300	117	90	20	7
1020	So. how do you feel when people say you have eyes in the back of your head?	1.2903	0.05634	93	70	19	4
1021	And how long have "eyes" been appearing?	1.2901	0.04784	131	99	26	6
1022	You’re going to have to avoid butter and sour cream, but chives are okay.	1.2901	0.04905	131	100	24	7
1023	Doctor, I can’t feel my legs.	1.2901	0.04905	131	100	24	7
1024	You're definitely a head case.	1.2901	0.04400	131	96	32	3
1025	You have ingrown knees.	1.2900	0.05738	100	77	17	6
1026	Well, I can get you a new hat, but I’m afraid your insurance doesn’t cover a separate torso.	1.2900	0.05738	100	77	17	6
1027	Let’s see if we can get that smile back.	1.2897	0.05145	107	80	23	4
1028	No legs or torso" is no longer considered to be a pre-existing condition	1.2897	0.05145	107	80	23	4
1029	I’d say all your problems really are in your head.	1.2895	0.04781	114	84	27	3
1030	I'm glad you came to me. You're not suitable for doctors 2 and under.	1.2895	0.04941	114	85	25	4
1031	I'm prescribing sour cream.	1.2895	0.05096	114	86	23	5
1032	Your insurance doesn't cover a new hat.	1.2895	0.05096	114	86	23	5
1033	The test results are back. You are not Irish.	1.2895	0.05534	114	89	17	8
1034	You say you feel hot, fried, and spend too much time on the couch?	1.2895	0.05534	114	89	17	8
1035	Unfortunately, this operation is going to cost an arm and an ear.	1.2893	0.05434	121	95	17	9
1036	How long have you identified as Barbie ?	1.2893	0.05434	121	95	17	9
1037	You’ve gotta cut down on carbs.	1.2893	0.04901	121	91	25	5
1038	I'll give you a prescription for some new plastic parts.	1.2893	0.04901	121	91	25	5
1039	Well, you seem to have an eye growing down there.	1.2893	0.05306	121	94	19	8
1040	Just for clarification, do you pronounce it 'Potato' or ' Potahto'?" (Marie Slepin, Walla Walla WA	1.2893	0.05040	121	92	23	6
1041	Your lab results came back--it looks as if you're missing a torso.	1.2891	0.04979	128	98	23	7
1042	I recommend cutting down to just two nose changes a day.	1.2887	0.05276	97	72	22	3
1043	I completely understand, but before we have a conversation about Viagra, maybe we should talk to Hasbro first.	1.2887	0.06035	97	76	14	7
1044	I agree, if it were up to me I wouldn't call you a vegetable either.	1.2885	0.04864	104	76	26	2
1045	Your in excellent shape, all of your parts seem to be in the right places Stay away from any kitchens until after the holidays and I'll see you next year	1.2885	0.05579	104	80	18	6
1046	"Looks like the knee surgery went well."	1.2885	0.05744	104	81	16	7
1047	Technically the hat is not a prosthetic.	1.2885	0.05234	104	78	22	4
1048	When did your legs begin to shrink?	1.2883	0.05337	111	85	20	6
1049	I'm not so much worried about the size of your feet.	1.2883	0.05779	111	88	14	9
1050	I'm sorry, Mr. Head... you seem seem to be in a persistent vegetative state.	1.2883	0.05488	111	86	18	7
1051	Seems like you have all your parts, and in all the right places.	1.2881	0.05260	118	91	20	7
1052	Unfortunately, it’s just as we thought - Tuberculosis	1.2881	0.05121	118	90	22	6
1053	Have your sinus issues improved now that your nose is back in the middle of your face?	1.2881	0.05260	118	91	20	7
1054	What you're doing to your body is no longer funny."	1.2880	0.05183	125	97	20	8
1055	Before I begin, let me ask you if you are indeed an actual Idaho potato.	1.2880	0.05306	125	98	18	9
1056	Good news, you don't have a brain tuber.	1.2872	0.05583	94	71	19	4
1057	Well, Spud, everything looks pretty good. Just stay away from the butter and sour cream.	1.2872	0.05374	94	70	21	3
1058	You've got potatoes in your ears.	1.2872	0.05978	94	73	15	6
1059	It appears you're allergic to meatloaf and gravy.	1.2871	0.05688	101	78	17	6
1060	My daughter will be performing the operation.	1.2870	0.05057	115	87	23	5
1061	Your torso hurts?	1.2870	0.05206	115	88	21	6
1062	I'm afraid the problem you've reported with your knees is all in your head.	1.2869	0.05004	122	93	23	6
1063	The good news is, you don't need knee surgery.	1.2868	0.04885	136	105	23	8
1064	Sorry about the kids in the waiting room.	1.2868	0.05103	136	107	19	10
1065	Are you sure you want to be reassembled?	1.2868	0.04772	136	104	25	7
1066	And after making these small changes, my guess is you're not going to recognise yourself.	1.2867	0.04824	143	111	23	9
1067	I can refer you to a great cataract surgeon; or we can just wait for new eyes.	1.2857	0.04893	126	96	24	6
1068	You will have to see a specialist for those parts.	1.2857	0.05981	98	77	14	7
1069	Usually, people wait until I ask them to take off their clothes.	1.2857	0.04982	112	84	24	4
1070	What do you mean they won't come off?	1.2857	0.05365	105	80	20	5
1071	Have you thought about cutting carbs?	1.2857	0.04957	133	103	22	8
1072	So Spud, you're concern is that Mrs. Potato Head says you're more dud than stud?	1.2857	0.05696	91	69	18	4
1073	In your case, six feet under might not be so bad.	1.2857	0.05365	105	80	20	5
1074	Sorry to have alarmed you. What I said was that I've never seen a larger TUBER.	1.2857	0.05855	105	83	14	8
1075	Im sorry, it's a tuber.	1.2857	0.05356	119	93	18	8
1076	For your age, you look very well put together.	1.2857	0.05477	91	68	20	3
1077	I'm afraid you're going to have to cut down on your starch.	1.2857	0.05356	119	93	18	8
1078	It looks like tuberculosis.	1.2857	0.05696	91	69	18	4
1079	I see here you have a long history of blight in your family.	1.2857	0.05012	105	78	24	3
1080	There's nothing wrong with you that a little salt and butter can't fix.	1.2857	0.05387	126	100	16	10
1081	You don't have to put on a brave face for me...	1.2857	0.05083	119	91	22	6
1082	Your annual physical shows that you’ve been Baked, Boiled, Fried, Mashed, Whipped, and Shredded…looks like you’ve been through the Grinder!	1.2846	0.04912	130	100	23	7
1083	OK, so what exactly hurts you? Your head? Your legs...oh, sorry. I see the problem now.	1.2846	0.05032	130	101	21	8
1084	In most cases, missing an entire limb would be an issue	1.2846	0.05101	123	95	21	7
1085	Looks like a benign tuber	1.2845	0.05020	116	88	23	5
1086	Longer legs, sure. Spud, you are God's gift to the prosthetics industry.	1.2845	0.05167	116	89	21	6
1087	Your tests are all negative. I think your symptoms are in your head.	1.2845	0.05310	116	90	19	7
1088	So you're having difficulty removing the examination table?	1.2844	0.05389	109	84	19	6
1089	This is what happens when you hold your sneezes in.	1.2843	0.05973	102	81	13	8
1090	I like your mustache; do you think I can pull it off?	1.2843	0.05464	102	78	19	5
1091	I’m afraid it’s a tumor not a tuber.	1.2842	0.05731	95	73	17	5
1092	Bake yourself for 45 minutes at 350 degrees, then call me in the morning.	1.2841	0.06036	88	68	15	5
1093	Ordinarily transplantation is serious but, in your case, it would be ‘plug and play.’	1.2835	0.04987	127	98	22	7
1094	This, unfortunately, is what happens when you ignore the signs of tuber-culosis.	1.2833	0.05317	120	94	18	8
1095	We can skip the prostate exam.	1.2832	0.05254	113	87	20	6
1096	Lucky for you, the transplant will be a quick procedure.	1.2832	0.04782	113	84	26	3
1097	I’m afraid your plastics level is a problem now.	1.2832	0.05547	113	89	16	8
1098	On further consideration, gender reassignment surgery should be a breeze.	1.2832	0.05402	113	88	18	7
1099	I think we can rule out a Prostate exam.	1.2832	0.05254	113	87	20	6
1100	Your glucose levels are quite high.	1.2830	0.05321	106	81	20	5
1101	About that recurring potato masher dream.	1.2830	0.05321	106	81	20	5
1102	Well, let's not get a head of ourselves...	1.2830	0.05648	106	83	16	7
1103	For insurance, we'll need the last four of your universal product code.	1.2826	0.06051	92	72	14	6
1104	Yes, I know more than all the king's horses	1.2826	0.06051	92	72	14	6
1105	All of your test results are in. Just as I suspected, it's all in your head.	1.2826	0.05426	92	69	20	3
1106	I don’t think a chiropractor would be of much help.	1.2826	0.05642	92	70	18	4
1107	I'd recommend cutting back on dairy products like butter and sour cream.	1.2823	0.05192	124	97	19	8
1108	You can put your pants back on now.	1.2823	0.05192	124	97	19	8
1109	All your eyes are in need of prescriptions. I hope you have good insurance.	1.2821	0.05408	117	92	17	8
1110	You may feel a little worn-out, but at this age be thankful all your parts are still attached.	1.2821	0.05408	117	92	17	8
1111	If the Vigrow doesn’t help, try immersing your lower parts in a large vat of water for a couple of weeks.	1.2821	0.05128	117	90	21	6
1112	Your labs came back lumpy.	1.2821	0.05270	117	91	19	7
1113	You seem to be missing the most important attachment.	1.2818	0.05024	110	83	23	4
1114	When did you first notice it was missing?	1.2818	0.05024	110	83	23	4
1115	Your spare limb arrived from Toys 'R' Us.	1.2818	0.05500	110	86	17	7
1116	The good news is your tuber is benign	1.2816	0.05590	103	80	17	6
1117	Yes,we can do your lips	1.2816	0.05418	103	79	19	5
1118	I think a sour cream and chive diet is ill-advised.	1.2815	0.04778	135	104	24	7
1119	Your DNA test came back. You are actually 50% sweet potato.	1.2812	0.05868	96	75	15	6
1120	I'm sorry. You have tubers.	1.2810	0.05010	121	93	22	6
1121	Potassium, good.	1.2809	0.05977	89	69	15	5
1122	I can replace your eyes, ears and nose but we’ll need to call in a specialist for the hat.	1.2807	0.05361	114	89	18	7
1123	Your options are boiled, baked, mashed, fries, or chips.	1.2804	0.05757	107	85	14	8
1124	I think that you should quit while you're ahead.	1.2804	0.05908	107	86	12	9
1125	It seems your insurance no longer covers replacement limbs by HASBRO. Would you consider a 3D printer?	1.2804	0.05442	107	83	18	6
1126	I’m sorry I have to tell you, but you test came back positive for hash browns.	1.2800	0.04899	125	96	23	6
1127	You need more protein	1.2800	0.05156	125	98	19	8
1128	On the bright side, think of how many people only wish they could have eyes on the back of their head.	1.2800	0.05519	100	77	18	5
1129	May I ask your pronouns?	1.2800	0.05874	100	79	14	7
1130	Using medical marijuana does mean, sir, that you'll be opening yourself up to a lot of "You're a baked potato."	1.2800	0.05140	100	75	22	3
1131	And how's that new nose we attached last time working out for you	1.2800	0.05140	100	75	22	3
1132	How long have you identified as a zucchini?	1.2797	0.05501	118	94	15	9
1133	I’m pleased to share that every eye I removed has come back negative.	1.2797	0.05631	118	95	13	10
1134	Well, Mr. Potato Head, there's no easy way to say this, but, you're missing all of your vital organs.	1.2796	0.06185	93	74	12	7
1135	Your blood pressure is quite high, you should stay away from mashed potatoes.	1.2794	0.04972	136	107	20	9
1136	I'm afraid I have to ask ... buried, cremated or mashed?	1.2793	0.05303	111	86	19	6
1137	Fortunately for you, amputation is non-invasive and totally reversible.	1.2793	0.05303	111	86	19	6
1138	All seams to be ok except perhaps one little thing.	1.2791	0.04919	129	100	22	7
1139	Going by these results it’s all in your head.	1.2791	0.06544	86	69	10	7
1140	I'm sorry to tell you that we found a tuber.	1.2789	0.04902	147	117	19	11
1141	We all fall apart as we get older.	1.2788	0.05543	104	81	17	6
1142	We just need to replace your ears, eyes, shoes, hat, nose, pants and mouth - then you'll be as good as new.	1.2788	0.05372	104	80	19	5
1143	Well Mr. P, all of your eyes seem fine.	1.2788	0.05372	104	80	19	5
1144	'"Im afraid it's going to have to come off."	1.2788	0.05012	104	78	23	3
1145	I'm sorry, Mr. Potato Head. I'm going to need to refer you to a plastic surgeon.	1.2788	0.05709	104	82	15	7
1146	The medical term is dissociative identity disorder.	1.2787	0.04836	122	93	24	5
1147	By adding the mustache and different hat, your transition from Mrs. Potato Head is complete.	1.2787	0.05109	122	95	20	7
1148	Unfortunately, your packaging said, Penis not included.	1.2784	0.06173	97	78	11	8
1149	You need to stop treating your body like a plaything.	1.2784	0.05627	97	75	17	5
1150	I'm sorry you have nobody. I mean no body.	1.2784	0.05997	97	77	13	7
1151	Go easy on the carbs!	1.2784	0.05022	97	72	23	2
1152	Please remove your face, arms ears and shoes. The hat can stay.	1.2784	0.05997	97	77	13	7
1153	Hmm. I think I’m going to send you for a microwave.	1.2783	0.05319	115	90	18	7
1154	Have you tried putting your arm where mustache is?	1.2783	0.05174	115	89	20	6
1155	On a scale of one to ten: How baked do you feel?	1.2783	0.05174	115	89	20	6
1156	Good news! You still have only two eyes.	1.2778	0.05709	108	86	14	8
1157	My nurse tells me you're worried about the new eyes you keep growing.	1.2778	0.05556	108	85	16	7
1158	Are you sure about the plastic surgery?	1.2778	0.04865	126	97	23	6
1159	The reason you were having trouble hearing in your right ear was because it had been shoved up your backside.	1.2773	0.05192	119	93	19	7
1160	Mr. Head, Your Carb levels are still too high. I'd also like for you to work on building up your arms.	1.2773	0.05053	119	92	21	6
1161	And with respect to surgery, we've literally got tons of options.	1.2772	0.05822	101	80	14	7
1162	Your sedentary lifestyle precedes you.	1.2772	0.05472	101	78	18	5
1163	Don’t worry, the problem with your skin peeling is normal.”	1.2772	0.05822	101	80	14	7
1164	With Thanksgiving fast approaching, you might consider going off the grid.	1.2772	0.05650	101	79	16	6
1165	Unfortunately, your insurance does not cover replacement parts.	1.2772	0.05288	101	77	20	4
1166	So sir, you feel like there are eyes in the back of your head?	1.2769	0.04886	130	101	22	7
1167	You must eliminate starch and see me again in 3 weeks	1.2769	0.04505	130	98	28	4
1168	Peeling any better?	1.2768	0.04947	112	85	23	4
1169	Now about your complaint of ED, Mr. Head, I think I see the problem.	1.2766	0.05538	94	72	18	4
1170	Try to cut down on starch.	1.2764	0.04939	123	95	22	6
1171	Removing the eyes in the back of your head won't involve a full peel.	1.2764	0.05202	123	97	18	8
1172	I’m going to refer you to an eye doctor.	1.2762	0.05152	105	80	21	4
1173	I'd advise you to spend a little less time on the couch.	1.2761	0.04900	134	105	21	8
1174	Your bloodwork confirms that you’re a good source of potassium.	1.2759	0.04987	116	89	22	5
1175	You say you’ve been having nightmares about french fries?	1.2759	0.04834	116	88	24	4
1176	You're in fine health. Just be very, very careful getting down from there.	1.2755	0.05385	98	75	19	4
1177	You need to spend a little more time at the gym and a little less on the couch.	1.2755	0.05385	98	75	19	4
1178	You say you feel like you're missing something?	1.2755	0.06116	98	79	11	8
1179	I'm afraid it's the famine.	1.2747	0.05861	91	71	15	5
1180	'Your surgical history's quite extensive: two hip replacements, both arms, rhinoplasty, multiple eye jobs, . . . ."	1.2747	0.05861	91	71	15	5
1181	Good news! Your test results revealed a tuber, not a tumor...	1.2747	0.05861	91	71	15	5
1182	Good news, there is a cure. Bad news, it entails being submerged in a jacuzzi of boiling oil before being cut to pieces and having salt poured into your wounds…	1.2747	0.06066	91	72	13	6
1183	You may get dressed now.	1.2747	0.05861	91	71	15	5
1184	Report here says your brain is mush... I mean mashed. But better than fried.	1.2747	0.05649	91	70	17	4
1185	Plastic surgery?	1.2745	0.05242	102	78	20	4
1186	Your butter and chive levels are through the roof !	1.2745	0.05424	102	79	18	5
1187	So good news...we go in the box,snap the new one in place and off you go	1.2743	0.05067	113	87	21	5
1188	I recommend rubbing oil on your skin to keep it soft.	1.2742	0.05036	124	97	20	7
1189	Glad to see you are so well put together, Mr. P.	1.2742	0.04904	124	96	22	6
1190	It appears that all of your parts are firmly intact.	1.2742	0.05164	124	98	18	8
1191	On the bright side, most people thought you would be dead by now.	1.2738	0.05449	84	63	19	2
1192	Your eyesight is good but you need new ears.	1.2738	0.05706	84	64	17	3
1193	Well,you seem to have all your parts.	1.2738	0.05706	84	64	17	3
1194	Let’s turn that frown upside down.	1.2737	0.05487	95	73	18	4
1195	Exactly how many growth hormone pills have you been taking every day, Mr. Peanut?”	1.2737	0.05687	95	74	16	5
1196	If you cut down on the butter, bacon bits, sour cream, cheese, and all that stuff, you'll be in better shape, but you'll lose most of your friends.	1.2737	0.06068	95	76	12	7
1197	It's the Ozempic face that concerns me, doctor.	1.2737	0.05687	95	74	16	5
1198	So you're feeling empty inside... any other symptoms?	1.2737	0.05687	95	74	16	5
1199	How long have you been peeling poorly?	1.2736	0.05283	106	82	19	5
1200	Let's try a different nose this time.	1.2736	0.05110	106	81	21	4
1201	Your coverage allows for 1.6 replacement parts per year. Let's talk about your options and priorities.	1.2736	0.05451	106	83	17	6
1202	What are your pronouns again?	1.2736	0.05283	106	82	19	5
1203	I could prescribe you viagra, but in your case, I feel like there's a much easier solution.	1.2736	0.05283	106	82	19	5
1204	Meniscus tear? I'm not so sure.	1.2736	0.04746	106	79	25	2
1205	I suggest 350 degrees for an hour. You can stay in longer, but your skin will toughen.	1.2736	0.05925	106	86	11	9
1206	I recommend 450 degrees for one hour instead of the deep fryer.	1.2735	0.04949	117	90	22	5
1207	For your own health, I am advising you to quit getting loaded.	1.2735	0.04642	117	88	26	3
1208	We can tackle the third eye today, but I'm afraid you'll need a referral for the missing ear.	1.2735	0.04798	117	89	24	4
1209	Have you tried taking that frown and turning it upside down?	1.2734	0.04798	128	99	23	6
1210	I don't know how to say this, but there's an ear where your genitals should be	1.2734	0.05048	128	101	19	8
1211	I'll briefly step out of the room so you can remove your body parts.	1.2727	0.05337	99	76	19	4
1212	According our records, you've had a lot of body parts replaced.	1.2727	0.05151	110	85	20	5
1213	I'm afraid you have tuber culosis.	1.2727	0.05710	99	78	15	6
1214	Frankly, your knee-reflex is... well, non-existent.	1.2727	0.05151	110	85	20	5
1215	Let's try Viagra until your replacement part arrives.	1.2727	0.04695	121	92	25	4
1216	Your genetic profile says you are more Idaho than Irish."	1.2727	0.05151	110	85	20	5
1217	Dietwise, I recommend that you avoid being fried food.	1.2727	0.04778	143	113	21	9
1218	The good news is you can do a knee replacement at home.	1.2727	0.06203	88	70	12	6
1219	You think we're toying with you?	1.2727	0.06410	88	71	10	7
1220	Your labs look pretty good but you should cut down on your carbs.	1.2721	0.04722	136	106	23	7
1221	You need to cut down on the carbohydrates.	1.2720	0.05128	125	99	18	8
1222	Good news: Your parts are intact until preschool opens tomorrow. Bad news: Mike Johnson thinks Mr. Potato Head is part of some gay agenda.	1.2720	0.05252	125	100	16	9
1223	And when did you first notice that your legs had disappeared?	1.2719	0.04871	114	87	23	4
1224	Everyone gets wrinkles; it's just that yours are tastier.	1.2718	0.05378	103	80	18	5
1225	And you say Mrs P.H. uses your missing appendage alone?	1.2718	0.05885	103	83	12	8
1226	Your pronoun of choice, please.	1.2718	0.05198	103	79	20	4
1227	I might have misunderstood you. After 3 beers did you feel Smashed? or Mashed?	1.2718	0.06045	103	84	10	9
1228	How often are you losing your pieces?	1.2717	0.05377	92	70	19	3
1229	You’re afraid your wife’s going to leave you? She already Hasbro.	1.2717	0.06007	92	73	13	6
1230	Of course, you're obese. You're a potato!	1.2717	0.05595	92	71	17	4
1231	Your replacement parts are pending under couch retrieval.	1.2712	0.05337	118	94	16	8
1232	Do you sometimes feel like you're a potato?	1.2710	0.05240	107	83	19	5
1233	And do you find yourself falling to pieces over trivial matters?	1.2710	0.05566	107	85	15	7
1234	Yes, you're in great shape for another presidential run.	1.2710	0.05722	107	86	13	8
1235	You’re in luck: Mrs. Potato Head is an exact donor match.	1.2710	0.05405	107	84	17	6
1236	Your carbohydrates are on the high side.	1.2708	0.05826	96	76	14	6
1237	Talk to Mr. peanut about his diet.	1.2708	0.05017	96	72	22	2
1238	At least you won't have knee problems later.	1.2705	0.04943	122	95	21	6
1239	There’s the matter of you storing spare parts near your prostate…	1.2705	0.05339	122	98	15	9
1240	Your tests show good levels of calcium, potassium, vitamin C but we’ve got to watch the starch.	1.2705	0.04804	122	94	23	5
1241	How long have you had these feelings that you came up from dirt	1.2705	0.04804	122	94	23	5
1242	Good news - you are benign tuber.	1.2703	0.05571	111	89	14	8
1243	Radiation therapy shrank the tumor, and made the entire oncology wing smell like tater tots.	1.2703	0.05422	111	88	16	7
1244	And stay away from the fryer.	1.2703	0.04948	111	85	22	4
1245	Good news, it’s not blight.	1.2703	0.04779	111	84	24	3
1246	The rhinoplasty worked great but if you don’t like it I can switch it out in about 2 minutes	1.2703	0.05111	111	86	20	5
1247	You misinterpreted quit while you’re a head. Go back to work.	1.2700	0.05478	100	78	17	5
1248	The results aren't good. You might want to put on your sad eyes.	1.2697	0.06140	89	71	12	6
1249	Your son will be a vegetable.	1.2697	0.06543	89	73	8	8
1250	You need to eases up on the butter and sour cream...	1.2697	0.05929	89	70	14	5
1251	In your case, plastic surgery will be quick and easy, but I don't think it's going to give you the natural look you're hoping for.	1.2697	0.05709	89	69	16	4
1252	I’ll refer you to a toddler who can rearrange your face.	1.2696	0.04674	115	87	25	3
1253	Based on our results, we've found that you're struggling with something called,"Couch Potato Disorder"	1.2696	0.05287	115	91	17	7
1254	Can remember anything about when it might’ve fallen off?	1.2696	0.05429	115	92	15	8
1255	I think it's time to start backing off the carbs.	1.2696	0.04835	115	88	23	4
1256	Where would you like me to stick the thermometer?	1.2696	0.05141	115	90	19	6
1257	It seems you’ve been spending a little too much time on the couch.	1.2696	0.05287	115	91	17	7
1258	Avoid the stove at all costs and stay away from dairy products!	1.2696	0.04990	115	89	21	5
1259	Yes, you're able to have tots, however...	1.2692	0.05098	130	104	17	9
1260	Nothing a little salt and ketchup won't fix.	1.2692	0.05505	104	82	16	6
1261	The newest GMOs have proven quite effective.	1.2692	0.04970	104	79	22	3
1262	I'm going to refer you to a plastic surgeon	1.2689	0.04728	119	91	24	4
1263	Today the ears, tomorrow the nose job, but we have to work on that smile.	1.2689	0.04575	119	90	26	3
1264	Sure, we can change everything, but it's going to cost you an arm and a leg.	1.2689	0.05297	119	95	16	8
1265	It's a simple nose job.	1.2688	0.05542	93	72	17	4
1266	Insurance won’t cover the hat transplant — it’s cosmetic.	1.2688	0.05749	93	73	15	5
1267	Insurance covers the eyes and nose but not the hat.	1.2688	0.05542	93	72	17	4
1268	It's quite normal for you to retain water.	1.2685	0.04853	108	82	23	3
1269	Good news and bad news. The good news is, you're fine. The bad news is, I'm starving.	1.2685	0.05361	108	85	17	6
1270	You say that you hardly recognize yourself?	1.2685	0.05361	108	85	17	6
1271	Lucky you! You don't even have a prostate.	1.2685	0.05361	108	85	17	6
1272	I'm concerned about your BMI.	1.2685	0.05197	108	84	19	5
1273	The results are negative, so you can go swap out your face for a happier expression.	1.2685	0.04853	108	82	23	3
1274	My condolences to the loss of your wife to a deep fryer accident	1.2683	0.05768	82	63	16	3
1275	Take off your legs and lie down so we can get started.	1.2683	0.05042	123	97	19	7
1276	I think it’s Covid, but I can’t rule out Tuber-culosis	1.2683	0.04770	123	95	23	5
1277	We definitely can make changes to your face, but looking “like Tom Selleck is not doable	1.2683	0.05768	82	63	16	3
1278	I see you've had some work done.	1.2680	0.05584	97	76	16	5
1279	And how would you rate the pain of your trauma after witnessing ketchup on fries?	1.2680	0.05773	97	77	14	6
1280	I'm sorry to tell you that you have a tuber.	1.2680	0.05773	97	77	14	6
1281	I'm sorry, sir, but your insurance company doesn't cover 'transitioning to Mrs. Potato Head'.	1.2679	0.05379	112	89	16	7
1282	It says here they dressed you up and threw you down the stairs?	1.2679	0.05670	112	91	12	9
1283	Have you tried simply avoiding the Barbie aisle?	1.2679	0.04909	112	86	22	4
1284	I have the results from your biopsy. Unfortunately, it’s a tuber.	1.2679	0.04743	112	85	24	3
1285	Just as I suspected..tuberculosis.	1.2674	0.06282	86	69	11	6
1286	Sir, this is your 5th plastic surgery appointment this week.	1.2674	0.05830	86	67	15	4
1287	I know I look put together on the outside, but I feel empty inside.	1.2674	0.05830	86	67	15	4
1288	Yes, I know you don't usually fill that hole, but a prostate exam is recommended at your age.	1.2673	0.05245	101	78	19	4
1289	I have bad news, try not to fall to pieces...	1.2673	0.05610	101	80	15	6
1290	OK, once more. No, ED medication won't help you.	1.2673	0.05430	101	79	17	5
1291	You say you are chastized by other spuds because you only have two eyse?	1.2673	0.04852	101	76	23	2
1292	I'm afraid it's going to cost you an arm and a leg...and maybe an ear.	1.2672	0.05387	116	93	15	8
1293	Watch the ketchup intake.	1.2667	0.05458	105	83	16	6
1294	So you say you're having problems in the sack?	1.2667	0.06079	90	72	12	6
1295	I’m sorry, Idaho is out of network.	1.2667	0.05288	105	82	18	5
1296	I said...new ears aren't shipping for another 5 months.	1.2667	0.05288	105	82	18	5
1297	I know you thought you saw blood, but it was just ketchup	1.2667	0.05428	90	69	18	3
1298	You need to stretch your legs.	1.2667	0.05784	105	85	12	8
1299	You have enough fiber but you need to exercise more	1.2667	0.05288	105	82	18	5
1300	No, not tumor; tuber!	1.2667	0.05653	90	70	16	4
1301	Well, good news. It's not a tuber.	1.2667	0.05458	105	83	16	6
1302	Cut back on the carbs.	1.2661	0.05006	124	98	19	7
1303	Once your biopsy is out of the fryer, you’re good to go	1.2661	0.05135	124	99	17	8
1304	You suffer from blight, and it may be genetic.	1.2661	0.04988	109	84	21	4
1305	Yes Mr. Potato, I can assure you that after the procedure we will be applying lactose free cheese AND lactose free sour cream near the incision.	1.2661	0.04814	109	83	23	3
1306	So, are you feeling more chipper or less chipper lately?	1.2661	0.04988	109	84	21	4
1307	The X-ray shows nothing.”	1.2660	0.05695	94	74	15	5
1308	No, phantom leg pain is not caused by excess body starch.	1.2660	0.05695	94	74	15	5
1309	I will call in a prescription for lips, but everything else looks ok.	1.2660	0.06083	94	76	11	7
1310	You’re down a peg.	1.2660	0.06083	94	76	11	7
1311	You'd like me to rearrange your entire face? Noooo problem.	1.2660	0.05278	94	72	19	3
1312	We can replace almost everything, but you'll have to grow your own eyes.	1.2660	0.05278	94	72	19	3
1313	Well Mr. Potatohead it appears that you just don’t have that particular part.	1.2656	0.04896	128	101	20	7
1314	How long have you had this fear of being eaten?	1.2655	0.05186	113	89	18	6
1315	Congratulation, your cholesterol level is surprising low	1.2655	0.05186	113	89	18	6
1316	Okay, Mr... do you pronounce it "Po-TAY-to-hed" or "Po-TAH-to-hed?"	1.2655	0.05031	113	88	20	5
1317	The test results for touching your toes were excellent.	1.2655	0.04707	113	86	24	3
1318	I see you’ve lost your glasses again.	1.2655	0.04536	113	85	26	2
1319	So here's a note, for whoever needs it, stating that you are a benign tuber.	1.2655	0.05336	113	90	16	7
1320	I don't think a paleo diet is really the answer for you.	1.2655	0.05031	113	88	20	5
1321	If you want to make tots you need to spend less time on the couch.	1.2655	0.04872	113	87	22	4
1322	I’m sorry to tell you this but you’ve sprouted. It’s only a matter of days now.	1.2655	0.05186	113	89	18	6
1323	You’re a surgeon’s dream…interchangeable parts.”	1.2655	0.05186	113	89	18	6
1324	Yes, well with Thanksgiving coming up, feeling like you're nothing but a side dish is perfectly understandable.	1.2653	0.05340	98	76	18	4
1325	I don't think Ozempic will help.	1.2653	0.05340	98	76	18	4
1326	Well sir,the good news is: we’ve determined what’s causing your e.d. However, the bad news is: Hasbro doesn’t make that part.	1.2653	0.05139	98	75	20	3
1327	So, how's that new eye working out for you?	1.2653	0.05139	98	75	20	3
1328	You need to peel yourself off your couch and be a little more spud-taneous!	1.2653	0.05533	98	77	16	5
1329	Well, you can't continue behaving like your body is just a set of parts that you can switch out willy-nilly as the mood strikes you.	1.2653	0.05139	98	75	20	3
1330	Mr. P, results are good, so put on your happy face.	1.2652	0.04416	132	101	27	4
1331	No, I'm sorry, but I cannot ethically give you an eye in the back of your head.	1.2651	0.06658	83	68	8	7
1332	You're unable to have tots.	1.2650	0.05482	117	95	13	9
1333	When was the last time you had a bowel movement?	1.2650	0.05063	117	92	19	6
1334	Your cholesterol level is, well, it’s nonexistent. Keep up the good work.	1.2647	0.05383	102	80	17	5
1335	I admit, your legs should be longer.	1.2647	0.04810	136	108	20	8
1336	Your potassium level is high.	1.2647	0.04922	136	109	18	9
1337	So, you have this feeling of pins and needles in your extremities?	1.2647	0.05200	102	79	19	4
1338	I have some bad news for you, Mr. Spud. The eyes in the back of your head have cataracts.	1.2645	0.05084	121	96	18	7
1339	your medical record looks good despite the years of child abuse you've endured.	1.2645	0.04660	121	93	24	4
1340	You may want to take out your sad face before I read your test results.	1.2644	0.05288	87	66	19	2
1341	Ok,when did everything start coming apart?	1.2644	0.05535	87	67	17	3
1342	Today we'll be removing your eyes, ears, mouth, arms, legs and eyebrows.	1.2642	0.05412	106	84	16	6
1343	I see here your grandmother suffered from blight.	1.2642	0.05735	106	86	12	8
1344	When I said, couch, potato, I didn’t mean it as a compliment.	1.2642	0.05244	106	83	18	5
1345	You should cut the carbs.	1.2640	0.04420	125	95	27	3
1346	This is technically off-label, but I'm going to suggest we try super glue.	1.2637	0.06019	91	73	12	6
1347	Yes, I know you’ve been tossed from one doctor to another, but with a fever at 104°F, what did you expect?	1.2637	0.05813	91	72	14	5
1348	Has anyone ever told you, you look like Steve Harvey?	1.2636	0.05582	110	89	13	8
1349	Yeah,I'd have to agree: "Mr. Quinoahead" may be healthier for you, but it doesn't have the same ring to it.	1.2636	0.05430	110	88	15	7
1350	Good news! Based on these lab tests, you could live for centuries - even if you're accidentally buried in a landfill.	1.2636	0.04948	110	85	21	4
1351	I think many of your problems could be solved with a change of hat.	1.2632	0.05439	95	74	17	4
1352	So you're still having a hard time staying away from carbs?	1.2632	0.05294	114	91	16	7
1353	Do you sometimes feel disconnected?	1.2632	0.05641	95	75	15	5
1354	Looks like all the pieces are in place.	1.2632	0.04992	114	89	20	5
1355	It so happens I'm also from Idaho	1.2632	0.04834	114	88	22	4
1356	So you’ve been falling apart?”	1.2632	0.05439	95	74	17	4
1357	Considering the last time you saw me you were missing one ear, your nose, your mustache, and your hat, I'd say you're looking quite good, Mr Head.	1.2626	0.05668	99	79	14	6
1358	XRays show a barbie shoe, half of a crayon and a lego man, but I suppose you happened to 'fall' on those, too.	1.2626	0.05483	99	78	16	5
1359	So, the bad news is, you are a potato head. The good news is, the hat looks fabulous on you.	1.2626	0.05847	99	80	12	7
1360	Not to worry, sprouts like this are perfectly normal for a potato of your age.	1.2626	0.05668	99	79	14	6
1361	And do you have any implants?	1.2626	0.05094	99	76	20	3
1362	So I hear you've been complaining of feeling detached?	1.2625	0.06350	80	64	11	5
1363	Changing your outlook will help. What other sets of eyes do you own?	1.2625	0.06350	80	64	11	5
1364	We've contacted Hasbro. Unfortunately, the attachment you're requesting isn't available.	1.2625	0.06096	80	63	13	4
1365	The brain puzzle work outs have clearly worked, but you need to get back to the arm and leg exercises.	1.2625	0.06595	80	65	9	6
1366	What exactly do you expect the Viagra to do?	1.2625	0.05831	80	62	15	3
1367	The nurse tells me you feel you are spuddering out.	1.2625	0.05831	80	62	15	3
1368	I'm feeling pretty baked.	1.2623	0.04911	122	96	20	6
1369	Your tests have come back. I’m afraid you have tuberculosis.	1.2623	0.04478	122	93	26	3
1370	Everything looks good — just cut back on the starch.	1.2623	0.04771	122	95	22	5
1371	You definitely have to cut back on the carbs!	1.2623	0.05047	122	97	18	7
1372	I’m going to refer you to an ear, nose, and hat specialist.	1.2621	0.05512	103	82	15	6
1373	Says here you have a fear of being mashed!	1.2621	0.05337	103	81	17	5
1374	Nothing I can do for the back - you’re spineless.	1.2621	0.04967	103	79	21	3
1375	If we attach long legs your BMI will improve markedly.	1.2621	0.05155	103	80	19	4
1376	Actually,we need to put something different in that hole today	1.2621	0.05512	103	82	15	6
1377	Most things look OK but your starch is off the charts.	1.2621	0.05682	103	83	13	7
1378	So when did this overall stiffness begin?	1.2619	0.06135	84	67	12	5
1379	May I call you Potato, or do you prefer Mr. Head	1.2619	0.06135	84	67	12	5
1380	Allow me to explain what will happen to your eyes	1.2617	0.05028	107	83	20	4
1381	When did you first notice your penis was missing?	1.2617	0.05839	107	88	10	9
1382	Luckily, your concerns are overbaked.	1.2617	0.05200	107	84	18	5
1383	You're going to have to cut down on the carbs.	1.2614	0.05480	88	68	17	3
1384	I see here you are worried about micro-plastics in your diet.	1.2614	0.06153	88	71	11	6
1385	I'm prescribing sour cream and chives.	1.2613	0.04739	111	85	23	3
1386	I understand you are feeling a bit disconnected.	1.2613	0.04909	111	86	21	4
1387	Idaho? I don't think I've ever really met anyone from Idaho before!	1.2613	0.05073	111	87	19	5
1388	Any sudden changes?	1.2613	0.05386	111	89	15	7
1389	Mr. Potato Head, I'm sorry to say it, but... you're losing your pieces.	1.2613	0.04739	111	85	23	3
1390	We need to talk about your nutrition.	1.2613	0.05386	111	89	15	7
1391	In your case, a vegetative state is a plus.	1.2609	0.05106	115	91	18	6
1392	It says here you are transgender?	1.2609	0.05106	115	91	18	6
1393	You really do have eyes in the back of your head.	1.2609	0.05106	115	91	18	6
1394	Let's put you on a low carb diet an I'll see you in a few weeks.	1.2609	0.05325	92	71	18	3
1395	Unfortunately, the test results say you're basically a vegetable.	1.2609	0.05960	92	74	12	6
1396	I just want to say, before we get started, the work you've had done thus far is really impressive.	1.2609	0.05756	92	73	14	5
1397	And when did you first notice you had extra arms stored in your backside?	1.2609	0.04636	115	88	24	3
1398	There is a high rate of phantom limb syndrome reported in your demographic group, unfortunately there's no known cure.	1.2605	0.04539	119	91	25	3
1399	Have you tried taking it off and putting it back on again?	1.2604	0.05389	96	75	17	4
1400	So, apart from your fears of being mashed, boiled, fried, diced,roasted, sauteed or shoe-stringed, you'd say you were happy with all the plastic bits?	1.2604	0.05782	96	77	13	6
1401	I have some bad news for you Mr. Head, the lab results came back positive for tuber-culosis.	1.2604	0.05969	96	78	11	7
1402	Your main problem is your high glycemic index.	1.2604	0.05589	96	76	15	5
1403	Based on the size of your head, are you any relation to the previous president?	1.2604	0.05182	96	74	19	3
1404	Your potassium levels are high, but no clue why your arms keep falling off.	1.2600	0.05617	100	80	14	6
1405	Have you considered becoming a french fries donor?	1.2597	0.06511	77	62	10	5
1406	It says here you’re scheduled for a colonoscopy but…that can’t be right.	1.2596	0.05291	104	82	17	5
1407	I'm afraid you have a basal cell carcinoma on your ear. Fortunately, it will be easy to remove.	1.2596	0.05112	104	81	19	4
1408	It's either poh-tay-tow or poh-tah-tow syndrome.	1.2596	0.04926	104	80	21	3
1409	I have your test results and I’m pleased to say they’re interchangeable.	1.2596	0.05633	104	84	13	7
1410	Just checking. In case of emergency, call Sheriff Woody?	1.2596	0.05291	104	82	17	5
1411	It says here you’re not getting enough starch. How do you explain that ?	1.2595	0.04672	131	103	22	6
1412	Cut down on carbs and work on upper body strength.	1.2593	0.05493	81	62	17	2
1413	I see your allergies are sour cream, butter, and chives.	1.2593	0.05493	81	62	17	2
1414	About that problem with your knees, when exactly was it that you last saw them?	1.2593	0.06029	81	64	13	4
1415	Idaho wants you to donate your body before you die.	1.2593	0.05158	108	85	18	5
1416	In your case, a nose job would be a very simple procedure.	1.2593	0.04810	108	83	22	3
1417	I can do the surgery but you don’t have a knee to replace.	1.2593	0.06521	81	66	9	6
1418	You may die a vegetable.	1.2589	0.05343	112	90	15	7
1419	Did your depression start when kids stopped sticking pieces of plastic into vegetables and moved onto video games?	1.2589	0.05343	112	90	15	7
1420	I do have a few medical questions, of course. But how did you get up on the examination table?	1.2589	0.05190	112	89	17	6
1421	You seem like a good candidate for a transplant.	1.2589	0.05033	112	88	19	5
1422	Sprouts are normal. Tell her there's nothing I can do.	1.2588	0.06296	85	69	10	6
1423	Would you sign my lab coat?	1.2588	0.05835	85	67	14	4
1424	Just put a little sour cream and chives on that and it will clear up in a jiffy.	1.2586	0.05212	116	93	16	7
1425	First the bad news; you're a tuber. On the bright side, the FDA has given you a Grade A rating.	1.2584	0.05656	89	70	15	4
1426	I see here that you are feeling like a nobody and have no legs to stand on.	1.2581	0.05492	93	73	16	4
1427	I'm afraid the MRI shows evidence of a large tuber.	1.2581	0.05701	93	74	14	5
1428	First, I'll need you to take off your face.	1.2577	0.05340	97	76	17	4
1429	You're going to need a hip replacement. It'll only take a minute.	1.2577	0.05538	97	77	15	5
1430	I’m sorry, but all the parts you need are on back order.	1.2577	0.05135	97	75	19	3
1431	Give us a call if you find a nose where your arm should be.	1.2577	0.05340	97	76	17	4
1432	I guess coming from me, " Mash em' boil em' stick them in a stew." Would be offensive to you.	1.2574	0.05743	101	82	12	7
1433	I'd like to keep you here overnight for amusement.	1.2574	0.05200	101	79	18	4
1434	Doc, I’m just fried.	1.2574	0.05200	101	79	18	4
1435	I'm going to refer you to a good olericulturist.	1.2574	0.05200	101	79	18	4
1436	Congratulations on your successful mustache transplant.	1.2574	0.05200	101	79	18	4
1437	You are in danger of becming a vegetable	1.2574	0.04428	136	106	25	5
1438	You’re trapped in a New Yorker cartoon, Mr. Koslowsky.	1.2571	0.05418	105	84	15	6
1439	How long have you had these "eyes" in the back of your head?	1.2571	0.05069	105	82	19	4
1440	Bad news. You need to stay off the couch and eat a low carb diet.	1.2571	0.05246	105	83	17	5
1441	The hands worked out well; now let’s see what we can do for your feet.	1.2571	0.05069	105	82	19	4
1442	Stay away from starch.	1.2571	0.04462	140	110	24	6
1443	Stay away from butter, hot oils and microwaves and you’ll be fine.	1.2569	0.05279	109	87	16	6
1444	These days it's all handled by a plastic surgeon.	1.2566	0.04833	113	88	21	4
1445	I’m sorry, but it’s just the way you were put together.	1.2566	0.04993	113	89	19	5
1446	...and stay out of the sun, so that you don't peel	1.2566	0.04833	113	88	21	4
1447	I just can't keep it together.	1.2564	0.05172	117	94	16	7
1448	The tests show you can't lose weight. You're a couch potato.	1.2564	0.06171	78	62	12	4
1449	You're perfectly fine...it could be Lyonnaise-by-Proxy syndrome."	1.2564	0.06435	78	63	10	5
1450	You need to go on a low carb diet.	1.2564	0.04879	117	92	20	5
1451	I have a treatment plan, but it is half baked	1.2561	0.05151	82	62	19	1
1452	The technical term is "half-baked."	1.2558	0.06006	86	69	12	5
1453	In my professional opinion, I'd recommend butter, sour cream, and chives.	1.2558	0.04575	129	101	23	5
1454	I'm afraid I'll have to remove all your extremities to get to the root of your problem.	1.2558	0.06006	86	69	12	5
1455	A pear-shaped body may be healthy, but you still need to cut down on the carbs!	1.2556	0.05373	90	70	17	3
1456	You should cut back on your starch.	1.2553	0.05002	94	72	20	2
1457	Your insurance allows one upgrade per year. Do you want a new shoe,a reading eye,or a different mustache?	1.2553	0.05647	94	75	14	5
1458	I'm afraid you'll need to cut down on the starch.	1.2553	0.05002	94	72	20	2
1459	Turns out you're a seed potato, not a baker.	1.2553	0.05226	94	73	18	3
1460	Nice to meet you, Joe. Now I can see why the statins your primary prescribed didn't lower your catastrophic cholesterol levels.	1.2553	0.05226	94	73	18	3
1461	You've got Tuber-culosis	1.2553	0.05440	94	74	16	4
1462	You have Tater Tots – what humans call Hemorrhoids.	1.2551	0.05292	98	77	17	4
1463	Off-the-shelf toys don't actually require a prescription.	1.2551	0.05487	98	78	15	5
1464	So far, so good. Now let’s check your tater tots.	1.2551	0.05676	98	79	13	6
1465	Well, other that that bat stuck up your nose, you're in great shape.	1.2551	0.05676	98	79	13	6
1466	Well, everything seems normal, but what's with those little gloves?	1.2551	0.05292	98	77	17	4
1467	Everything looks good. There's no reason why you can't resume your work for police departments that can't afford a sketch artist.	1.2551	0.05487	98	78	15	5
1468	Your test results all look good right now, but you really need to take better care of yourself. Parts seem to fall off as we age.	1.2551	0.05676	98	79	13	6
1469	Viagra? I am thinking more prosthetic.	1.2551	0.05487	98	78	15	5
1470	Yes, we’ll run some tests, but I think it’s probably all in your head.	1.2551	0.05292	98	77	17	4
1471	I'm sorry, Mr. Head. Anyway you slice it, you're fried.	1.2549	0.05340	102	81	16	5
1472	You know what they say,you are what you eat.	1.2549	0.05155	102	80	18	4
1473	You're gonna have to cut down on the carbs	1.2549	0.05518	102	82	14	6
1474	The tests show nothing to be concerned about. I think it's all in your head.	1.2547	0.05202	106	84	17	5
1475	We don’t accept Brown Cross Brown Shield.	1.2547	0.05027	106	83	19	4
1476	The prognosis is not good--prepare to fry.	1.2547	0.05372	106	85	15	6
1477	You say Humpty Dumpty is on your mother's side?	1.2547	0.05202	106	84	17	5
1478	I'm afraid you only have two weeks before being mashed.	1.2547	0.05537	106	86	13	7
1479	Apparently bicep add-ons are not covered by the HMO.	1.2547	0.05853	106	88	9	9
1480	You have six months to live.	1.2547	0.05372	106	85	15	6
1481	From now on stick to butter, bacon, and cheese.	1.2547	0.05372	106	85	15	6
1482	I can see on your face that the enema worked.	1.2545	0.04907	110	86	20	4
1483	Well, it's not tuberculosis.	1.2545	0.04734	110	85	22	3
1484	I know you feel empty inside, but adding all this stuff on the outside isn't going to help.	1.2545	0.04734	110	85	22	3
1485	Yes sir, it's true there are medications that can help with E.D., but you have to have something to E.	1.2545	0.05074	110	87	18	5
1486	I really suggest you cut down on the carbs.	1.2544	0.04955	114	90	19	5
1487	Have you tried replacing it with a different one?	1.2537	0.04579	134	106	22	6
1488	The problem is, too much starch in your diet.	1.2530	0.05378	83	64	17	2
1489	well none of your parts have fallen off	1.2530	0.05899	83	66	13	4
1490	Can you stick out your tongue and say ‘Au gratin’?	1.2529	0.05944	87	70	12	5
1491	Your gender reassignment surgery was a complete success, Mrs Potato.	1.2529	0.06165	87	71	10	6
1492	We ran your complaint past Chat GPT and AI referenced Occams Razor and advised, "French Fries".	1.2529	0.05715	87	69	14	4
1493	You can have children, but only ages two and up.	1.2529	0.05226	87	67	18	2
1494	Get plenty of rest and stay in the box as much as possible.	1.2529	0.05476	87	68	16	3
1495	And I’m required to ask, in the last month have you contemplated mashing, roasting, or hashing yourself?	1.2527	0.05762	91	73	13	5
1496	I see you’ve taken gender-affirming care into your own hands.	1.2527	0.05321	91	71	17	3
1497	You say you're having incessant nightmares of being fried, roasted, or mashed but have no idea why?	1.2527	0.05762	91	73	13	5
1498	I’m prescribing a little sour cream and chives. That should make everything better.	1.2527	0.05086	91	70	19	2
1499	Well,the good news is you don’t have lung cancer.	1.2527	0.05762	91	73	13	5
1500	Sorry, but the exam deductable only covers two eyes.	1.2527	0.05762	91	73	13	5
1501	And you’re happy with the possibility that surgery may leave you a vegetable?	1.2527	0.05086	91	70	19	2
1502	I could refer you to a psychologist for your attachment issues.	1.2526	0.05389	95	75	16	4
1503	Aside from that missing ear, you certainly seem chipper.	1.2526	0.05593	95	76	14	5
1504	I'm afraid the MRI showed a massive tuber.	1.2526	0.04956	95	73	20	2
1505	I'm sorry Mr Potato, unfortunately the donor wants his nose back.	1.2526	0.05593	95	76	14	5
1506	Well, the good news is it's a benign tuber...	1.2525	0.05438	99	79	15	5
1507	You really need to get off the couch!	1.2525	0.05804	99	81	11	7
1508	This operation is going to cost you an arm and a leg.	1.2524	0.05293	103	82	16	5
1509	Further testing is required. Please remove your hat, eyes, nose, ears, feet and hands. The nurse will be here to take them	1.2523	0.05327	107	86	15	6
1510	You tore your tater cuff	1.2523	0.04618	107	82	23	2
1511	I thought it was a Zoom filter, doc, and now I don't know what to do!	1.2523	0.04618	107	82	23	2
1512	I really think we need to explore the root cause of your aversions to butter and sour cream	1.2523	0.04805	107	83	21	3
1513	Whn did you start to fel that body parts were dtachd from your body	1.2523	0.04868	111	87	20	4
1514	Always use a condiment as protection from unwanted blandness.	1.2523	0.05349	111	90	14	7
1515	Unfortunately, it's genetics.	1.2522	0.04759	115	90	21	4
1516	your orida !	1.2521	0.05094	119	96	16	7
1517	I’m afraid you need a hip replacement.	1.2520	0.04842	123	98	19	6
1518	Your complaints are all in your head.	1.2500	0.05038	92	71	19	2
1519	It's not cancer; it's just a s sprout.	1.2500	0.05444	108	88	13	7
1520	Shoes off the table if you don't mind Mister.	1.2500	0.05837	84	67	13	4
1521	I'll need you to take your shoes off for the next exam, but you can leave your face on.	1.2500	0.05339	96	76	16	4
1522	I have your test results. You may want to put on a brave face.	1.2500	0.05270	92	72	17	3
1523	Mind if I call you Potato? Or do you prefer Mr Head?	1.2500	0.04484	112	86	24	2
1524	Your lab work looks delicious.	1.2500	0.05705	92	74	13	5
1525	Unfortunately, we found a lump.	1.2500	0.05152	112	90	16	6
1526	We can take you apart. But I can't guarantee we can put you back together.	1.2500	0.05657	88	70	14	4
1527	I am going to write you a prescription for a butter with a higher SPF.	1.2500	0.05198	100	79	17	4
1528	There's no easy way to say this—we left a scalpel in your compartment.	1.2500	0.05248	104	83	16	5
1529	Replacement parts are not covered by your insurance	1.2500	0.04766	108	84	21	3
1530	Before we go straight to plastic surgery, there are some other alternatives we could try first.	1.2500	0.05837	84	67	13	4
1531	The good news is your parts are all attached. The bad news is your starch levels are through the roof!!	1.2500	0.04911	96	74	20	2
1532	According to your chart, you have a very large head and no legs.	1.2500	0.04911	96	74	20	2
1533	I'm afraid it's your butt flap.	1.2500	0.05000	100	78	19	3
1534	Mr. Head, while we're all very impressed with your lovely array of outer appendages, I'm very concerned that you don't appear to have any internal organs at all.	1.2500	0.05883	88	71	12	5
1535	If this prescription doesn’t resolve your sinus issues, try a different nose.	1.2500	0.05186	80	61	18	1
1536	Sorry, I've looked and looked and you just don't have one.	1.2500	0.05658	76	59	15	2
1537	Your gender reassignment surgery will be easy -- we'll just remove the mustache and apply lipstick.	1.2500	0.06101	88	72	10	6
1538	Do you want my staff to address you as ‘Mister,’ or is just ‘Bob’ OK?	1.2500	0.05152	112	90	16	6
1539	Normally a nose job is considered irreversible, but I think we have some options.	1.2500	0.05000	100	78	19	3
1540	Cut back on the carbs in your diet!	1.2500	0.05585	84	66	15	3
1541	You’re in luck. We can just pop out the bad one and pop in a new one.	1.2500	0.05837	84	67	13	4
1542	There’s an age we all reach when it’ isn’t healthy to continue getting fried and baked	1.2500	0.05423	104	84	14	6
1543	I’ll just step out while you remove everything but your briefs.	1.2500	0.05705	92	74	13	5
1544	I haven't felt this bad since the Vice-President misspelled my name.	1.2500	0.05657	88	70	14	4
1545	...and, you have a recurring nightmare of being chased by a masher...	1.2500	0.05837	84	67	13	4
1546	You just want to see me fall, don't you?	1.2500	0.06309	84	69	9	6
1547	You know what comes next, but I'm guessing you left it at home again?	1.2500	0.05130	96	75	18	3
1548	So you have no idea how a hat, glasses, and extra sets of eyes, noses, and ears got stuck up your butt?	1.2500	0.06110	92	76	9	7
1549	We have to talk about carbs...	1.2500	0.05492	92	73	15	4
1550	Hmm... I believe it to be TUBER-culosis, oh and do get your EYES checked, stay true to your ROOTS, and say hi to Mrs. Potato for me!	1.2500	0.04561	116	90	23	3
1551	Your cholesterol is high. Avoid butter and sour cream. Chives are OK.	1.2500	0.04994	112	89	18	5
1552	How bad is it doc? Fried or mashed?	1.2500	0.05130	96	75	18	3
1553	Head aches?	1.2500	0.05585	84	66	15	3
1554	Have you gotten rid of the coach?	1.2500	0.06033	80	64	12	4
1555	It’s never too late to make some changes….	1.2500	0.05130	96	75	18	3
1556	So I see here you have a problem with your nose falling off.	1.2500	0.04794	100	77	21	2
1557	Have you ever thought of just gluing them on?	1.2500	0.05116	108	86	17	5
1558	Who did your nose job?	1.2500	0.05960	76	60	13	3
1559	Good morning, Mr. Head. May I call you Potato?	1.2500	0.06101	88	72	10	6
1560	I need you to take off your ears so I can get a closer look...	1.2479	0.05137	117	95	15	7
1561	To get your weight down, I'm putting you on a low-starch diet.	1.2479	0.04527	117	91	23	3
1562	You’re not going to like where your new nose comes from.	1.2478	0.05263	113	92	14	7
1563	And how long have you feared having your eyes plucked out?	1.2478	0.05111	113	91	16	6
1564	Good news on your physical, eyes are clear and your skin is flawless". "The only thing I can recommend, is spending less time on the couch".	1.2477	0.04904	109	86	19	4
1565	I think you're in the wrong office. This is Urology.	1.2477	0.04904	109	86	19	4
1566	When the Vice President encouraged me to ad the "e" , I never though you would be my patient.	1.2477	0.05074	109	87	17	5
1567	How many times a week do you get "baked"?	1.2476	0.04838	105	82	20	3
1568	I have to be honest,the fact that you still have arms,legs,eyes and a nose at this age is remarkable. I really wouldn’t worry about the lipid panel results at this point.	1.2476	0.05203	105	84	16	5
1569	You're suffering from hearing loss because your right ear is missing...	1.2476	0.05376	105	85	14	6
1570	In your case, rhinoplasty should be fairly simple.	1.2476	0.05203	105	84	16	5
1571	So you were the last one in,and you feel rotten?	1.2476	0.05024	105	83	18	4
1572	So what makes you think you've become a couch potato?	1.2476	0.05544	105	86	12	7
1573	How frequently do you have these nightmares of being skinned, chopped and fired?	1.2476	0.05544	105	86	12	7
1574	I guess we’ll skip the reflexes test.	1.2476	0.04645	105	81	22	2
1575	It’s an outpatient procedure. We simply replace your eyes, nose, ears, mouth, and mustache.	1.2475	0.04956	101	79	19	3
1576	These concerns appear to be all in your head.	1.2475	0.05152	101	80	17	4
1577	I see on your chart that you recently had a lower extremities scan, I just don't understand how.	1.2475	0.05700	101	83	11	7
1578	Before we do the surgery we ask that you spend a year living as a sweet potato.	1.2474	0.05490	97	78	14	5
1579	You had a great what...??	1.2474	0.05290	97	77	16	4
1580	Be careful, French fries could be fatal.	1.2473	0.05650	93	75	13	5
1581	It’s time we confront your problem in the sack.	1.2473	0.05439	93	74	15	4
1582	How do I put this—you’re starchy.	1.2473	0.05439	93	74	15	4
1583	Moving to Idaho will certainly improve your health and popularity.	1.2473	0.05220	93	73	17	3
1584	I have bad news from your rectal exam.	1.2473	0.05220	93	73	17	3
1585	In your case, gender reassignment would be a snap.	1.2473	0.05439	93	74	15	4
1586	Any family history of root vegetables?	1.2473	0.05439	93	74	15	4
1587	According to your A1C test, we need to get you on a low carb diet.	1.2472	0.05367	89	70	16	3
1588	You could definitely stand to lose some weight. As to your phobias about peelers, knives and deep-fat fryers, there's another doctor I want you to see.	1.2472	0.04868	89	68	20	1
1589	And, I'm sorry to say, after these surgeries you'll basically be a side dish.	1.2472	0.06039	89	73	10	6
1590	Yes, ED is a common problem	1.2472	0.05824	89	72	12	5
1591	Fortunately, plastic surgery will not be necessary for the transition.	1.2472	0.05367	89	70	16	3
1592	We have a little blue pill that can put the starch back into, well, that particular attachment.	1.2472	0.05824	89	72	12	5
1593	I'm afraid your insurance doesn't cover missing parts	1.2471	0.05775	85	68	13	4
1594	Not to worry- my five year old son will be here in five minutes to reattach your other ear.	1.2471	0.05268	85	66	17	2
1595	There's too much starch in your diet.	1.2466	0.06101	73	58	12	3
1596	And when you say you feel fried.....	1.2466	0.06101	73	58	12	3
1597	I’ll give you some privacy while you retrieve your glasses	1.2466	0.05441	73	56	16	1
1598	Baked” is still not allowed as a federal employee	1.2458	0.04805	118	94	19	5
1599	We removed a few bacon bits, but otherwise, the colonoscopy went as smooth as mashed potatoes.	1.2455	0.05196	110	89	15	6
1600	Unsettling news, Mr. Potato Head. Your birth certificate says you were born a yam.	1.2455	0.04690	110	86	21	3
1601	Any relation to “Studs Terkel?”	1.2455	0.04690	110	86	21	3
1602	You have to cut back on the starch.	1.2455	0.04865	110	87	19	4
1603	The tests indicate you are a hypochondriac, it's all in your head"	1.2455	0.05033	110	88	17	5
1604	Well, yes, a chemical peel would be an option.	1.2453	0.04607	106	82	22	2
1605	You must cut down on your starch intake!	1.2453	0.05159	106	85	16	5
1606	Cat get your tongue again?	1.2453	0.05159	106	85	16	5
1607	Don't worry. We have many ways to prepare you.	1.2453	0.04982	106	84	18	4
1608	I know you say you're "fried," but it doesn't look that way.	1.2453	0.05330	106	86	14	6
1609	Three eyedrops a day, and you will sprout within a week.	1.2451	0.05107	102	81	17	4
1610	Just french fries is not a good food choice.	1.2451	0.05474	102	83	13	6
1611	Mr. Head, it looks like your insurance will cover the cosmetic surgeon for the nose job but the leg extensions will have to wait since the orthopedic surgeon is out of the pegs until after Christmas.	1.2451	0.05107	102	81	17	4
1612	Your family history isn’t encouraging for longevity.	1.2451	0.04712	102	79	21	2
1613	It’s rare. I’ve seen it before, when I was very young.	1.2451	0.04914	102	80	19	3
1614	Both feet, check. Eyes, check. Ears, check. This is the best shape you've been in ages.	1.2451	0.05474	102	83	13	6
1615	What pronouns do you prefer, Mr. Potatohead?	1.2451	0.05649	102	84	11	7
1616	I believe you've been spending to much time on your couch "	1.2449	0.05629	98	80	12	6
1617	Good news- costing you an arm and a leg isn't anything you're unfamiliar with.	1.2449	0.05037	98	77	18	3
1618	I’m afraid I’ve found a tubor . . .	1.2449	0.05991	98	82	8	8
1619	It might be a good idea to track your starch intake	1.2449	0.05242	98	78	16	4
1620	I have the results of your prostate exam here and...if I may ask a few questions...	1.2449	0.05439	98	79	14	5
1621	Tell me something. How did you get up on the table?	1.2449	0.05629	98	80	12	6
1622	I’m afraid it’s all gone pear shaped	1.2449	0.05813	98	81	10	7
1623	Is it Mr. Potato or Potatoe?	1.2447	0.05796	94	77	11	6
1624	Hmmm...I'm not sure a low carb diet is right for you.	1.2447	0.05596	94	76	13	5
1625	I got bad news ...you've got potatoitus!	1.2447	0.06179	94	79	7	8
1626	I’m sorry Mr. Head, you seem to be in a persistent vegetative state”	1.2447	0.05796	94	77	11	6
1627	Yes, I'm a plastic surgeon, but I can't turn you into a toy.	1.2444	0.05544	90	72	14	4
1628	I'm more of an "Operation" specialist.	1.2444	0.05314	90	71	16	3
1629	I'm sorry. It's terminal. Would you like me to adjust your eyebrows?	1.2444	0.05074	90	70	18	2
1630	From what I can tell, Sir, it appears to be all in your head.	1.2444	0.05074	90	70	18	2
1631	The bad news is, you’re going to die. The good news is, you’re going to be part of an absolutely delightful summer salad.	1.2442	0.05214	86	67	17	2
1632	I think a temperature of 375 degrees is just to high.	1.2442	0.05470	86	68	15	3
1633	The lab report says you have to cut back on starches	1.2442	0.05470	86	68	15	3
1634	I wouldn't overly worry about it — your readings are actually pretty normal for a potato.	1.2442	0.05470	86	68	15	3
1635	I see you are in for gender reassignment surgery.	1.2439	0.06150	82	67	10	5
1636	So when did you first notice the side effects of the medication?	1.2439	0.06150	82	67	10	5
1637	Yes, except for the part about your hat, that could be considered elder abuse.	1.2439	0.05900	82	66	12	4
1638	Actually, the facelift is done by my two year old.	1.2439	0.06150	82	67	10	5
1639	Your CT scan indicates you are slowly turning into plastic.	1.2437	0.04460	119	93	23	3
1640	I wouldn’t worry about the starch, but you might consider a hat with better sun protection…	1.2437	0.04460	119	93	23	3
1641	According to this, you're hyperglycemic... Oops, nope, I'm sorry. These are Mr. Sweetpotatohead's results.	1.2436	0.05824	78	62	13	3
1642	I suggest you cut back on the carbs.	1.2435	0.05031	115	93	16	6
1643	Lose the mustache.	1.2435	0.04877	115	92	18	5
1644	It says here you've already tried a shoe replacement.	1.2435	0.04718	115	91	20	4
1645	I recommend that you cut back on carbs	1.2435	0.04553	115	90	22	3
1646	I'm going to prescribe sour cream and a light dose of chive.	1.2432	0.06613	74	61	8	5
1647	Lovely family story, but I said do you have any history of, ‘tumors’	1.2432	0.06027	74	59	12	3
1648	How often do you have this feeling of emptiness and that you're falling apart?	1.2430	0.05116	107	86	16	5
1649	You have got to stop putting your hat and shoes in your butt.	1.2430	0.05285	107	87	14	6
1650	As far as diet, zero carbs is your new routine...	1.2430	0.05449	107	88	12	7
1651	The good news is your prostate isn't enlarged.	1.2430	0.05116	107	86	16	5
1652	We can julienne that little rough patch. Oh, and McDonalds is paying for it.	1.2427	0.05063	103	82	17	4
1653	You need an eye doctor.	1.2427	0.05248	103	83	15	5
1654	You're saying, you think all your family is still in Idaho.	1.2427	0.05599	103	85	11	7
1655	I’ve finally figured out the root of all of your troubles.	1.2427	0.05063	103	82	17	4
1656	Sorry, we can't do any tests when you are baked.	1.2424	0.04992	99	78	18	3
1657	Any feelings of emptiness?	1.2424	0.04782	99	77	20	2
1658	Have you been spending a lot of time on your couch recently?	1.2424	0.05390	99	80	14	5
1659	You'll get frequent fryer miles with this visit.	1.2424	0.05578	99	81	12	6
1660	Good news! The other eyes came back benign.	1.2424	0.05390	99	80	14	5
1661	You need a new arm, but it's going to take at least a year. Supply chain troubles.	1.2421	0.05122	95	75	17	3
1662	Should we pronounce it, “Potayto” or “Potahto?”	1.2421	0.05542	95	77	13	5
1663	I'll have to refer you to a plastic surgeon.	1.2421	0.05337	95	76	15	4
1664	You can no longer be gender specific	1.2421	0.05122	95	75	17	3
1665	Is my head too big or are my legs too short?	1.2421	0.05337	95	76	15	4
1666	Are you following your low-carb diet?	1.2421	0.05337	95	76	15	4
1667	The tests reflect an abnormally high level of starch in your diet.	1.2421	0.05542	95	77	13	5
1668	How do you identify yourself as; boiled, mashed or sautéed?	1.2421	0.06119	95	80	7	8
1669	So how does it feel without all your other eyes?	1.2419	0.04908	124	101	16	7
1670	I'm sorry, but we need to reduce your carbs.	1.2418	0.05918	91	75	10	6
1671	I just keep losing things...	1.2418	0.05490	91	73	14	4
1672	Your tests results have come in, and it seems it’s all in your head.	1.2418	0.05708	91	74	12	5
1673	It's all still in your head?	1.2418	0.05708	91	74	12	5
1674	Luckily your parts were made to pop right off, so I could do the surgery now.	1.2418	0.05918	91	75	10	6
1675	I realize you may have difficulty cutting down on starches.	1.2417	0.04583	120	95	21	4
1676	Your vision needs correction. We’ll just switch your eyes and mouth.	1.2417	0.04879	120	97	17	6
1677	I am afraid it’s french fries.	1.2417	0.04733	120	96	19	5
1678	Sir, we might have an issue. Which toys were you and your wife using?	1.2414	0.05656	87	70	13	4
1679	I might have to refer you to a horticulturist.	1.2414	0.05887	87	71	11	5
1680	I’m confident we can rule out “restless leg syndrome”!	1.2414	0.06325	87	73	7	7
1681	I agree with you, I think we should take a head cold very seriously.	1.2414	0.05656	87	70	13	4
1682	take off your nose and say Ahh	1.2414	0.05414	87	69	15	3
1683	The all-potato diet hasn’t worked out very well for you. Let’s switch you to a more attractive vegetable.	1.2414	0.05161	87	68	17	2
1684	The encephalitis is terrible. But the good news is you have absolutely no belly fat.	1.2411	0.05267	112	92	13	7
1685	You need more salt. Erm, uhh, medically speaking, of course.	1.2411	0.05112	112	91	15	6
1686	Your lab results look good so I've scheduled your vegetable reassignment surgery for next Tuesday.	1.2410	0.05309	83	65	16	2
1687	It seems all your parts are in place.	1.2410	0.06083	83	68	10	5
1688	Transitioning to a woman should be fairly easy for you,Mr. Potato Head.	1.2410	0.05579	83	66	14	3
1689	Sir, Are you currently under the influence of alcohol? You seem half baked?	1.2407	0.05241	108	88	14	6
1690	You need to cut back on the piercings.	1.2407	0.05073	108	87	16	5
1691	It says here you're the head of a toy company?	1.2407	0.05403	108	89	12	7
1692	I’m prescribing a change of face.	1.2407	0.04900	108	86	18	4
1693	Is this the first time that you’ve considered altering your appearance?	1.2407	0.05073	108	87	16	5
1694	I’ll pluck off this nose. Pop on your new nose. Should you ever decide to go back to the old one, what I’ll do for you is store it in your butt.	1.2407	0.05403	108	89	12	7
1695	Well at the very least I can help with your ears and nose.	1.2405	0.06033	79	64	11	4
1696	Let's take a look. Could you take off your nose, please.	1.2405	0.06033	79	64	11	4
1697	Sometimes, one simply has to accept that one is a potato.	1.2405	0.06033	79	64	11	4
1698	You ned to cut back on the carbohydrates,	1.2405	0.05758	79	63	13	3
1699	Your test results indicate you haven’t accessorized since the 1970’s.	1.2405	0.06033	79	64	11	4
1700	Well, despite unheslthy scarring from previous cosmetic surgeries, things could be worse...	1.2404	0.05202	104	84	15	5
1701	Actually, with modern technology, a nose job is very simple these days.	1.2404	0.05020	104	83	17	4
1702	Mister P, you are my masterpiece!	1.2404	0.05020	104	83	17	4
1703	Definitely a nose job.	1.2404	0.05020	104	83	17	4
1704	I'm sorry to report that Blue Cross won't cover your sprout removal--they say it's cosmetic surgery.	1.2400	0.05644	75	59	14	2
1705	I'm gonna need you to lay off the starch.	1.2400	0.04948	100	79	18	3
1706	Then roast at 400 degrees...oops, wrong page.	1.2400	0.05148	100	80	16	4
1707	Says here you had an allergic reaction and broke out in chives.	1.2400	0.06532	75	62	8	5
1708	How long have you had these headaches ?	1.2400	0.05527	100	82	12	6
1709	Probably just a mild case of blight.	1.2400	0.04740	100	78	20	2
1710	You have more between the ears than I would have predicted.	1.2400	0.04522	100	77	22	1
1711	Are you baked right now?	1.2400	0.05148	100	80	16	4
1712	Well, I think we can eliminate ED.	1.2400	0.04740	100	78	20	2
1713	In your case, plastic surgery is very straightforward and carries no risk.	1.2400	0.05148	100	80	16	4
1714	It's either Early Blight or Colorado Potato Beetle.	1.2400	0.05148	100	80	16	4
1715	We'll notify you when the stent from Hasbro arrives.	1.2397	0.04698	121	97	19	5
1716	You’re going to have to start laying off the carbs.	1.2397	0.04549	121	96	21	4
1717	You are too old to be good baked, but you will still make excellent French fries.	1.2396	0.05490	96	78	13	5
1718	And you’ve been on this diet for how long?	1.2396	0.05075	96	76	17	3
1719	So, what would you like us to do with the eye on your backside?	1.2396	0.05287	96	77	15	4
1720	Your DNA test says you're half sweet potato.	1.2396	0.04623	96	74	21	1
1721	You might want to go easy on the potatoes.	1.2396	0.04854	96	75	19	2
1722	You say potato. I'm not going to argue with you.	1.2396	0.05287	96	77	15	4
1723	My advice for you is, stay away from the fryer, boiling water and most importantly the oven.	1.2391	0.05436	92	74	14	4
1724	I don’t want to concern you, but we found a large, hollow compartment full of body parts.	1.2391	0.05212	92	73	16	3
1725	I know that you aren’t Humpty Dumpty	1.2391	0.05436	92	74	14	4
1726	None invasive vasectomy has come a long way. .Just a quick tug should do it	1.2391	0.05651	92	75	12	5
1727	Simply....it's your ego.	1.2391	0.05212	92	73	16	3
1728	I must inform you that I’ve called the police. We found extra arms and legs inside you that matched DNA from your missing wife	1.2391	0.05436	92	74	14	4
1729	"Aside for missing a heart and lungs you appear to be in excellent health."	1.2391	0.05436	92	74	14	4
1730	I'm disappointed too.	1.2391	0.06059	92	77	8	7
1731	You don't look surprised to hear you have tuberculosis.	1.2389	0.05071	113	92	15	6
1732	It says here you’ve recently had trouble with your nose falling off.	1.2389	0.05071	113	92	15	6
1733	Well, you definitely have enough starch in your diet.	1.2389	0.05071	113	92	15	6
1734	There's another eye under your hat.	1.2386	0.05110	88	69	17	2
1735	Your tests show you’re half baked!	1.2386	0.05110	88	69	17	2
1736	Ok...here are your surgery options - baked, diced & mashed. All three are risky. But delicious!	1.2386	0.05110	88	69	17	2
1737	I have to be honest, Dan. Turning yourself into a potato isn't going to convince people you know how to spell it.	1.2386	0.05110	88	69	17	2
1738	Good news... your leg X-rays came back negative.	1.2386	0.05826	88	72	11	5
1739	As I told Mr. Dumpty, be careful where you sit…	1.2386	0.05359	88	70	15	3
1740	Frankly, you’d feel much better if you pulled your smile out of your ass compartment.	1.2386	0.05826	88	72	11	5
1741	Just a few minor lifestyle changes and we'll turn that frown upside down.	1.2385	0.04859	109	87	18	4
1742	The procedure is straightforward: we replace your eyes with a pair we pull from your ass.	1.2385	0.05514	109	91	10	8
1743	Well, here's the problem. Your temperature is only 98.6 degrees. We're going to have to get you up to 400.	1.2385	0.05197	109	89	14	6
1744	And is Mrs. Potato Head your only sexual partner?	1.2385	0.04859	109	87	18	4
1745	So, how long have the other potatoes been calling you "Groucho?"	1.2381	0.04567	126	101	20	5
1746	Your replacement is delayed due to the supply chain problem.	1.2381	0.05519	84	67	14	3
1747	Regretfully, Mr. Head, the tuber is malignant.	1.2381	0.05332	105	86	13	6
1748	Carbohydrates are not your friend, I'm afraid.	1.2381	0.06017	84	69	10	5
1749	Of course we can do it surgically. But it’s cheaper If you just pull out your mustache, and switch out the hat insert with a sexy blonde wig insert yourself.	1.2381	0.05519	84	67	14	3
1750	It says here that you're worried about your life choices. I'd start with that hat.	1.2381	0.05773	84	68	12	4
1751	You really need to get off the couch more often.	1.2376	0.05293	101	82	14	5
1752	Yes Mr. Potato Head, your arms could use a little work out occasionally.	1.2376	0.05103	101	81	16	4
1753	It hurts since the German car on my toe fell.	1.2376	0.04905	101	80	18	3
1754	I'd probably avoid vacationing in France, if I were you.	1.2376	0.04905	101	80	18	3
1755	The bad news is we have to remove your skin. The good news is we can save your eyes.	1.2375	0.05108	80	62	17	1
1756	I recommend that you and your wife, Julienne, not travel to France.	1.2375	0.05965	80	65	11	4
1757	Your cholesterol levels are a little high, I'd like you to cut back on the butter and sour cream	1.2373	0.04451	118	93	22	3
1758	You’re going to need pre-approval for the second bake.	1.2371	0.05633	97	80	11	6
1759	I recommend a cornea transplant. The procedure is very straightforward.	1.2371	0.05439	97	79	13	5
1760	A genetic test shows “couch potato” is an inherited trait in your family.	1.2371	0.05238	97	78	15	4
1761	Can you describe in more detail the feeling of sharp objects sticking into your brain?	1.2371	0.05820	97	81	9	7
1762	If you wanna get baked, lose the hat and moustache.	1.2371	0.05633	97	80	11	6
1763	A spud like you shouldn't match with hot potatas	1.2371	0.05633	97	80	11	6
1764	I don't really take these symptoms seriously because you are just a potato.	1.2371	0.05633	97	80	11	6
1765	I've reversed your foot, mouth and mustache disease (again)	1.2371	0.05439	97	79	13	5
1766	Well, a torn meniscus is unlikely.	1.2368	0.06453	76	63	8	5
1767	Yes,it looks like we’re dealing with a giant tumor.	1.2368	0.05884	76	61	12	3
1768	What do you prefer, bud or buddy?	1.2368	0.06453	76	63	8	5
1769	I’m strongly recommending psychotherapy for your attachment issues.	1.2366	0.05383	93	75	14	4
1770	Bad news...there's a pocket of Vichyssoise behind the right optical orbit.	1.2366	0.04930	93	73	18	2
1771	I want you to cut down on carbs.	1.2366	0.05162	93	74	16	3
1772	Listen, you really need to cut down on your starches.	1.2366	0.04930	93	73	18	2
1773	i've reviewed your tests and can tell you why you claim to be smashed and or whipped most of the time, it's because the holidays are coming.	1.2366	0.05383	93	75	14	4
1774	No worries looking purple -- worry if you look green	1.2366	0.04687	93	72	20	1
1775	So, you are constantly having a dream about being skinned alive?	1.2366	0.04930	93	73	18	2
1776	It looks like we'll need to peel you, but don't worry, it's a routine procedure.	1.2366	0.05162	93	74	16	3
1777	We were able to get you back together, but your friend humpty is still in surgery.	1.2366	0.05383	93	75	14	4
1778	You should get some exercise, not being a couch potato.	1.2364	0.04990	110	89	16	5
1779	Try cutting down on carbs.	1.2364	0.05154	110	90	14	6
1780	I really don't think calling you a "potato head" was meant as an insult.	1.2364	0.04644	110	87	20	3
1781	I’m afraid tuberculosis is rather common among your kind.	1.2361	0.06094	72	58	11	3
1782	Here’s a prescription for Crazy Glue. Call me if they KEEP falling off	1.2361	0.06407	72	59	9	4
1783	You’ll need a kidney transplant and we’re still looking for your right ear.	1.2360	0.05305	89	71	15	3
1784	You're medically cleared to become potato salad.	1.2360	0.05541	89	72	13	4
1785	Medically,no indications. I am proposing that the problem is,actually,all in your head,and I highly recommend joining a club that actually would have you for a member	1.2360	0.05767	89	73	11	5
1786	Ok, so how did you get up on the examing table?	1.2360	0.05305	89	71	15	3
1787	Mister Head, we really need to put you on a starch-free diet.	1.2360	0.05541	89	72	13	4
1788	A more youthful appearance? First, I'd lose the hat.	1.2360	0.05767	89	73	11	5
1789	The procedure entails swapping all your parts onto a sweet potato for a more appealing personality.	1.2358	0.05616	106	89	9	8
1790	I never played with the model that contained your internal organs.	1.2353	0.05198	85	67	16	2
1791	Unfortunately you have the same condition as your late wife.	1.2353	0.05246	102	83	14	5
1792	It's not looking good, you have several holes in your body and a backside that won't close.	1.2353	0.05461	85	68	14	3
1793	Are you still in a relationship with Mr. Peanut?	1.2353	0.05712	85	69	12	4
1794	I don't understand. According to all the test results, you have zero vitals. As in you should be dead and buried in a field.	1.2353	0.04862	102	81	18	3
1795	You really have to cut down on the carbs.	1.2353	0.05058	102	82	16	4
1796	I’m afraid you’re too big for you’re britches.	1.2353	0.05461	85	68	14	3
1797	So you say you’re feeling a little half baked ?	1.2353	0.04862	102	81	18	3
1798	Your hemoglobin is 0.0 but your potassium levels are wonderfully high.	1.2353	0.05712	85	69	12	4
1799	I can appreciate your philosophy, Mr. P., but please wear some clothes for our next visit.	1.2353	0.05461	85	68	14	3
1800	The good news is that it's all in your mind; the bad news is in your case that's a terminal diagnosis.	1.2353	0.05198	85	67	16	2
1801	It appears that there is no way to remove the hat!	1.2353	0.05058	102	82	16	4
1802	Who did you say did your plastic surgery?	1.2353	0.04862	102	81	18	3
1803	You can rearrange your face all you want, but you are going to have to slow down on the starch intake.	1.2347	0.04767	98	77	19	2
1804	Mr Dumpty, your BMI is concerning for someone your age.	1.2347	0.04983	98	78	17	3
1805	More exercise. You're going to have to get off the you-know-what.	1.2347	0.04541	98	76	21	1
1806	If you want to stay in one piece, stay out of the heat, and stop mixing with onions.	1.2347	0.04983	98	78	17	3
1807	Ok, let me get this straight. You're on an-all carb diet and it's working?	1.2347	0.05389	98	80	13	5
1808	I would try a generous amount of softened butter, but if that doesn't work, switch to organic sour cream and fresh chives	1.2347	0.05766	98	82	9	7
1809	Well, your Colon's shot and I think we both know why...	1.2347	0.04983	98	78	17	3
1810	The extra arm was successfully removed and placed back in your trunk.	1.2347	0.04983	98	78	17	3
1811	The results show a 99% probability that the little spud is yours.	1.2347	0.04983	98	78	17	3
1812	So, you're feeling like you've lost parts of yourself... specifically, the "fun" nose and the baseball cap you prefer. But you're okay with the mustache. Do I have that right?	1.2347	0.05389	98	80	13	5
1813	It wouldn’t hurt to peel off a few pounds.	1.2346	0.05349	81	64	15	2
1814	Good, so your signature authorizes us to access the prostate orally, and the colonoscopy will be done through your ear. All set?	1.2346	0.05898	81	66	11	4
1815	"... and above all, stay off the couch!"	1.2340	0.05113	94	75	16	3
1816	Mr. Potato Head. How do you expect me to inspect your heart?	1.2340	0.05941	94	79	8	7
1817	In your case the surgery will be a snap.	1.2340	0.05113	94	75	16	3
1818	Do you know Stephen Colbert?	1.2340	0.05113	94	75	16	3
1819	Yes, I’m telling you, it’s all in your head.	1.2340	0.05332	94	76	14	4
1820	Kind of a formality, but are you sexually active?	1.2338	0.05816	77	62	12	3
1821	So when did you last see your torso?	1.2338	0.05816	77	62	12	3
1822	I can prescribe it, but I don’t think Viagra will do much for you.	1.2338	0.05816	77	62	12	3
1823	Doc, my eyes hurt.	1.2338	0.05195	77	60	16	1
1824	It could be the extra foot in your rear.	1.2333	0.05708	90	74	11	5
1825	As your proctologist, I must say that area is not meant for storage.	1.2333	0.05009	90	71	17	2
1826	Yes, the MRI takes slices, but they're just virtual!	1.2333	0.05009	90	71	17	2
1827	We performed a full cat scan and we believe we found the problem. You've got eyes growing down there!	1.2333	0.05253	90	72	15	3
1828	If you could just take your nose and hat off, I can do a full exam.	1.2333	0.05009	90	71	17	2
1829	I’m afraid your insurance doesn’t cover conditions related to potato blight.	1.2333	0.04483	90	69	21	0
1830	You're in perfect health---no sign of life whatever!	1.2333	0.05708	90	74	11	5
1831	Well sir, it looks like your torsoectomy went well.	1.2330	0.05380	103	85	12	6
1832	You've really got to get off that couch.	1.2330	0.04820	103	82	18	3
1833	And Mrs Head? How is she feeling these days?	1.2330	0.04618	103	81	20	2
1834	Your DNA results are in, Mr. Potatohead. You are indeed 100% Idaho Russet.	1.2330	0.05014	103	83	16	4
1835	While your immune system is responding well to SpudThrax, you do seem to be experiencing some classic side effects.	1.2330	0.05380	103	85	12	6
1836	I‘m referring you to the leading expert on this matter—my three-year-old daughter.	1.2330	0.04820	103	82	18	3
1837	I’m afraid you have eyes on the back of your head.	1.2330	0.04618	103	81	20	2
1838	Normally, headaches aren't serious, but in your case...	1.2329	0.06327	73	60	9	4
1839	Should be a simple procedure - just open the flap in the back and go right in	1.2326	0.05889	86	71	10	5
1840	You’re looking good, but your nose will have to be replaced.	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
1841	Dude, you look baked.	1.2326	0.05404	86	69	14	3
1842	Mr Potato, I am happy to report good results on your hearing test now that your ears on no longer sticking out of your torso.	1.2326	0.05652	86	70	12	4
1843	On the bright side, you're not missing any body parts.	1.2326	0.05652	86	70	12	4
1844	I understand you're here for a hair plug?	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
1845	Dab these allergies! I said you have a tuber.	1.2326	0.05652	86	70	12	4
1846	I think we'll skip the reflex hammer today.	1.2326	0.05889	86	71	10	5
1847	The good news is that your ankle bone is connected to your hip bone, but your humerus is connected to your ear bone!	1.2323	0.05339	99	81	13	5
1848	The good news is that your lifetime risk for prostate cancer is virtually zero.	1.2323	0.04938	99	79	17	3
1849	Based on the news I'm about to give you, you may want to put on your sad face.	1.2323	0.04938	99	79	17	3
1850	I must advise you, Mr. Potatohead, that the process to transition to a yam requires years of counseling and gallons of spray tan.	1.2323	0.05339	99	81	13	5
1851	So when are you and the Mrs. expecting your little tater-tot?	1.2323	0.05712	99	83	9	7
1852	Is there some reason you don't like French fries?	1.2323	0.05142	99	80	15	4
1853	Trust me—all my patients get baked and doused in sour cream.	1.2323	0.04938	99	79	17	3
1854	Please remove your hat before I begin the examination.	1.2323	0.05339	99	81	13	5
1855	I can remove the five eyes from your back but I can't do anything about the missing legs unfortunately.	1.2323	0.04938	99	79	17	3
1856	The only way to make your mustache grow up like a smile, is to detach it from you and turn it upside down. You need to have the kid who is your owner, be happy and do that for you.	1.2321	0.04570	112	89	20	3
1857	Be sure to avoid fried foods and friers.	1.2321	0.04909	112	91	16	5
1858	Most others are missing at least one appendage at your age.	1.2321	0.04743	112	90	18	4
1859	You’d be healthier if you stayed away from sour cream and butter.	1.2321	0.04909	112	91	16	5
1860	...and now, Mr. Dumpty, may I get your first name?	1.2321	0.04743	112	90	18	4
1861	So let me get this right, your ear fell off and got lost somewhere in your shag carpeting?	1.2317	0.05569	82	66	13	3
1862	You have an hour to live at 450°.	1.2317	0.06086	82	68	9	5
1863	the good news is everything is attached...the bad, you have too many choices	1.2317	0.04999	82	64	17	1
1864	You're just missing some vitamin D	1.2317	0.05569	82	66	13	3
1865	You know the expression, 'Eyes in the back of your head'? Congratulations.	1.2317	0.05569	82	66	13	3
1866	Your nose has to go, but luckily it's a snap to replace.	1.2317	0.04999	82	64	17	1
1867	Unfortunately, there's nothing I can prescribe that will completely fill the void you feel inside.	1.2317	0.05833	82	67	11	4
1868	It is my expert medical opinion that,yes, you will need legs to run from the mafia.	1.2316	0.05281	95	77	14	4
1869	So I understand you're having trouble with your eyes.	1.2316	0.04838	95	75	18	2
1870	Well, what did you think was going to happen when you replaced it with a mustache?	1.2316	0.04838	95	75	18	2
1871	You actually don’t need a plastic surgeon, you can change your nose yourself	1.2316	0.05065	95	76	16	3
1872	I recommend a little less time on your couch.	1.2316	0.05489	95	78	12	5
1873	Your genes put you at a high risk of dismemberment by children, which is unfortunately as bad as it sounds.	1.2316	0.05065	95	76	16	3
1874	I went to Harvard. I don't belong in a cartoon with a potato.	1.2315	0.05361	108	90	11	7
1875	'Tell me, did the pain start before or after your election to Congress?'	1.2315	0.05361	108	90	11	7
1876	« Extreme veganism has clearly gone to your head. »	1.2308	0.05451	78	62	14	2
1877	I'd like you to give up gluten.	1.2308	0.05155	104	85	14	5
1878	Have you ever been baked, mashed, or fried?	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
1879	Stay out of the hot Arizona sun. You bake to easily.	1.2308	0.05333	104	86	12	6
1880	So you're telling me your arm literally comes out of its socket?	1.2308	0.05201	91	73	15	3
1881	Unfortunately, the part you’re missing isn’t being made any longer, and no one wants to donate theirs,	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
1882	Name?	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
1883	Best thing you ever did was stop smoking	1.2308	0.06031	78	64	10	4
1884	So, when was the last time you blinked?	1.2308	0.04961	91	72	17	2
1885	Mr. Russet, I’m prescribing Ozempic and you should be a thin fingerling in three months time. Alice Hoffman, NY, NY Aliceweisshoffman445@gmail.com	1.2308	0.06031	78	64	10	4
1886	I’m afraid we’re going to have to cut out all your carbs.	1.2308	0.05431	91	74	13	4
1887	Let’s look at a low carb recipe for you	1.2308	0.04272	117	92	23	2
1888	Well I can prescribe some ointment for that nose-falling-off problem, but that’s about it	1.2308	0.05155	104	85	14	5
1889	Well... Keto isn't for everyone.	1.2308	0.05651	91	75	11	5
1890	The AI report says that you should not sit on a wall.	1.2308	0.04579	104	82	20	2
1891	Maybe you feel that way because you're keeping all your emotions locked up inside you.	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
1892	You are afflicted with too many moving parts, so I'm referring you to a specialist.	1.2308	0.04708	91	71	19	1
1893	We were able to remove the crayon today, sir.	1.2308	0.05863	91	76	9	6
1894	You're going to need to see a specialist.	1.2308	0.05431	91	74	13	4
1895	Little too much starch in your diet I'm afraid..	1.2301	0.04356	113	89	22	2
1896	You look different... have you had a makeover since I last saw you?	1.2301	0.04534	113	90	20	3
1897	I'm sorry that I can't help you. But please tell your family to stay in a cool dry place away from children.	1.2300	0.05478	100	83	11	6
1898	I recommend dermabrasion.	1.2300	0.04894	100	80	17	3
1899	Try to cut back on putting body parts in your butt.	1.2300	0.05291	100	82	13	5
1900	It may take some time to get used to, but everything is in its right place.	1.2300	0.05096	100	81	15	4
1901	You gotta cut down on the carbs	1.2300	0.04894	100	80	17	3
1902	It's confirmed. You have tuberculosis.	1.2300	0.05096	100	81	15	4
1903	I'm sorry, I can't find a source for your knee pain.	1.2300	0.05660	100	84	9	7
1904	I don't know what you've been reading in toy catalogs, but removing a nose is actually quite the invasive procedure."	1.2299	0.05827	87	72	10	5
1905	I'm afraid it's finally time for the knee-replacement surgery." Mike O'Malley, Trumbull, Conn	1.2299	0.05593	87	71	12	4
1906	You have too much junk in your trunk sir !	1.2299	0.05348	87	70	14	3
1907	I suggest consulting with mensa. They won't be concerned about your bottom half.	1.2299	0.05593	87	71	12	4
1908	How would you like to be called Mr. Potatohead?	1.2299	0.05092	87	69	16	2
1909	Well, the good news is, it should be relatively easy to replace.	1.2299	0.05092	87	69	16	2
1910	Here are the results, Mr. ... what was your name again?	1.2297	0.05625	74	59	13	2
1911	Now bend over and let's see if we can find those glasses.	1.2297	0.06249	74	61	9	4
1912	They/them…? Absolutely!	1.2294	0.05154	109	90	13	6
1913	So, you would like to transition to a french fry.	1.2294	0.04813	109	88	17	4
1914	I'm sorry Mr. Potato Head, you have tuber-culosis.	1.2292	0.04794	96	76	18	2
1915	I buried your biopsy; congratulations, you'll soon become a father.	1.2292	0.05635	96	80	10	6
1916	You have a mild case of the hasselbacks. A pound of butter and an olive oil bath should ease your discomfort.	1.2292	0.05231	96	78	14	4
1917	You need to spend more time walking and to stay off the couch as much as possible.	1.2292	0.05231	96	78	14	4
1918	good news, you're still spuddering along just fine but don't go off half baked	1.2292	0.05231	96	78	14	4
1919	You need to cut way back on your starches."	1.2292	0.05231	96	78	14	4
1920	I am a plastic surgeon and you are made of plastic…but, I can’t make you look like Ken.	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
1921	It doesn't look good, Mr. Head. You have Blight.	1.2289	0.05235	83	66	15	2
1922	You need to get off the couch.	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
1923	I’m going to recommend a specialist. McDonald’s the best friar in town.	1.2289	0.06018	83	69	9	5
1924	You say you were born in Idaho?	1.2289	0.05769	83	68	11	4
1925	I'm referring you to a headshrinker	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
1926	I’m afraid I have some bad news. We seem to have attached your ‘angry eyes’ to your butt.	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
1927	Look, the best your insurance can cover is going to be "angry eyes".	1.2289	0.04946	83	65	17	1
1928	Well Mr. Potatohead, your problem is that you only have two eyes.	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
1929	Mr Potato Head …the test revealed some bad news In order to beat this thing you will need to be Skinned, Whipped, Scalloped, and Mashed	1.2289	0.06018	83	69	9	5
1930	*Of course, before I agree to do the procedure, I will need a signed release from little Cindy."	1.2289	0.05769	83	68	11	4
1931	Luckily it’s only a potato head-cold.	1.2289	0.06258	83	70	7	6
1932	I’m sorry, sir, but I’m afraid your wife is likely to remain in a vegetable state for the rest of her life.	1.2288	0.04725	118	96	17	5
1933	I see that you found your nose.	1.2286	0.04738	105	84	18	3
1934	I must have the wrong chart. So you're not Mr. Humpty Dumpty?	1.2286	0.04928	105	85	16	4
1935	We've got to get your carb count way down.	1.2286	0.04928	105	85	16	4
1936	The results aren't good. Your insides are completely filled with Legos.	1.2283	0.05595	92	76	11	5
1937	Couch potato!	1.2283	0.05150	92	74	15	3
1938	I'm sorry Mr. Potato Head, but Hasbro has never released the parts that would allow you and your wife to have children. If you're interested in adoption, please consider your local farmer's market.	1.2283	0.05150	92	74	15	3
1939	So, you’re telling me that all your weight-loss plans turn out half baked?	1.2278	0.05683	79	64	12	3
1940	So how long have you and Mrs. Potato Head been trying to make some little potatoes?	1.2278	0.05961	79	65	10	4
1941	It says here you’re gluten-free and vegan.	1.2278	0.05390	79	63	14	2
1942	We'll need to amputate. Again.	1.2278	0.06228	79	66	8	5
1943	The best and worst case prognosis is that you'll be left in a vegetative state.	1.2278	0.05683	79	64	12	3
1944	Trust me. Sour cream, chives and bacon make everything better.	1.2277	0.05243	101	83	13	5
1945	My diagnosis is that you've been skipping leg day at the gym."	1.2277	0.04850	101	81	17	3
1946	So, once again, please tell me why you think your wife was mashed.	1.2277	0.05243	101	83	13	5
1947	I’m afraid we also require a first name.	1.2273	0.05294	88	71	14	3
1948	You've got a case of tuber-culosis	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
1949	Mr Russett, your DNA results confirm that your father was a dic-tater.	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
1950	I think you are just over roasted.	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
1951	Fortunately, it's nothing that a little keto can't fix.	1.2273	0.05535	88	72	12	4
1952	We can’t proceed unless you provide me with a first name.	1.2273	0.06403	66	54	9	3
1953	You left it at home?	1.2273	0.05535	88	72	12	4
1954	So you are sensing that people are avoiding you?	1.2273	0.05535	88	72	12	4
1955	Dad, for the last time, in the office it's Dr. Potato Head.	1.2273	0.05988	88	74	8	6
1956	You have cooties.	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
1957	First the good news--nothing's broken.	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
1958	Let me explain why you do not have tuberculosis.	1.2273	0.05294	88	71	14	3
1959	Did you ever try Rogaine?	1.2268	0.04518	97	76	20	1
1960	So,how long have you been a vegetarian?	1.2268	0.05182	97	79	14	4
1961	We have found you not only have no legal standing here, you have no legs to stand on whatsoever.	1.2268	0.04971	97	78	16	3
1962	You seem concerned with a possible breakup!	1.2268	0.04750	97	77	18	2
1963	We just wanted to know how you get on the exam table.	1.2268	0.05182	97	79	14	4
1964	It's time for your eye exam. This could take a while.	1.2268	0.04971	97	78	16	3
1965	If you were a fingerling, I'd be more concerned about those lumps.	1.2268	0.05182	97	79	14	4
1966	I'm going to put you down as "waxy".	1.2268	0.04971	97	78	16	3
1967	And when did you first notice the rest of your body was missing?	1.2268	0.05182	97	79	14	4
1968	We were able to pop out the obstruction so you should be good as new	1.2267	0.05874	75	61	11	3
1969	Unfortunately the tumour isn't detachable.	1.2267	0.06458	75	63	7	5
1970	As long as you keep your hat on, you're protected from getting mashed.	1.2267	0.05558	75	60	13	2
1971	Sorry, Mr. Head, but you have tuberculosis	1.2267	0.05874	75	61	11	3
1972	This will be hard to hear, but the reason you can’t have little tots is …	1.2264	0.05066	106	87	14	5
1973	Physically you're fine, but you're still depressed over Don Rickles being your voice in 'Toy Story.'	1.2264	0.05066	106	87	14	5
1974	Let's try Sour Cream with Chives	1.2262	0.05449	84	68	13	3
1975	"Now, about your diet of butter and sour cream..."	1.2262	0.05706	84	69	11	4
1976	You may now reach for your sad mouth, Sir"	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
1977	How's the wife and the tots?	1.2262	0.05449	84	68	13	3
1978	Parts is parts	1.2262	0.04895	84	66	17	1
1979	We’re going to switch out the ears, eyes, nose, mouth, mustache and hat, and see if that helps.	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
1980	Yes. I'm a 'plastic' surgeon, but you don't need me just to change your nose.	1.2262	0.05952	84	70	9	5
1981	Perhaps we could talk about how you got up there?	1.2262	0.05449	84	68	13	3
1982	So, are you eating your vegetables?	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
1983	...but the good news is it'll be the easiest transplant I've ever done.	1.2262	0.05952	84	70	9	5
1984	Good news! You have no missing pieces.	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
1985	I have only a half-baked idea of what your problem is.	1.2258	0.04619	93	73	19	1
1986	'It's called "Blight", but it's not quite as serious as it sounds.'	1.2258	0.05100	93	75	15	3
1987	Let’s take a look inside your back.	1.2258	0.04866	93	74	17	2
1988	It's a good thought, but I honestly don't see the Paleo diet working for you.	1.2258	0.05100	93	75	15	3
1989	If you fall, you may lose an ear or nose, but you will not crack open.	1.2258	0.05100	93	75	15	3
1990	You need to stop getting so smashed!	1.2258	0.04866	93	74	17	2
1991	I think that your best bet is to go on the Keto Diet.	1.2255	0.05196	102	84	13	5
1992	Fortunately, transitioning in a case like yours is relatively easy.	1.2255	0.04602	102	81	19	2
1993	I see here you've listed your occupation as a YouTuber. . .	1.2254	0.06406	71	59	8	4
1994	No, nothing to worry about, two eyes is perfectly normal for someone your age.	1.2252	0.05069	111	92	13	6
1995	I’m afraid that empty void you feel inside of you is a feature.	1.2250	0.05329	80	64	14	2
1996	Other than that, you just needs some Leggos.	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
1997	And how often did you say you’re receiving facial reconstruction surgery?”	1.2250	0.05893	80	66	10	4
1998	We found eyes in the back of your head.	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
1999	You say your feeling half-baked?	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
2000	You've got to cut out the starch.	1.2250	0.05329	80	64	14	2
2001	We're going to start you on a low-carb diet.	1.2247	0.05240	89	72	14	3
2002	Feeling butter?	1.2247	0.05240	89	72	14	3
2003	I'm wondering if an adverse spud event could be the root of your problem.	1.2247	0.05707	89	74	10	5
2004	Just because you identify as a potato doesn't mean you're not a man.	1.2247	0.04990	89	71	16	2
2005	And yet the hat suggests excellent balance.	1.2245	0.05135	98	80	14	4
2006	Stay away from the sour cream and butter, and we'll see you after the holidays.	1.2245	0.05529	98	82	10	6
2007	'There's no clinical study that suggests the medication I prescribed may cause leg shortening."	1.2245	0.04707	98	78	18	2
2008	Cut down on the starches.	1.2245	0.05135	98	80	14	4
2009	If you're planning to tan this summer, you can never have too much oil.	1.2239	0.06316	67	55	9	3
2010	I'm going to need you to hop down,turn around,and pop open your spare parts hatch.	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
2011	And you need to cut back on starches. Maybe get out more and meet some fruits and vegetables.	1.2237	0.05164	76	60	15	1
2012	I see that the no carb diet isn't going well then.	1.2237	0.05803	76	62	11	3
2013	You have to face reality…… You are not a celery stick.	1.2237	0.05803	76	62	11	3
2014	Im afraid you’ll have to cut out the carbs.	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
2015	Mr. P, I'm afraid your chest pains are completely mystifying to me.	1.2237	0.05164	76	60	15	1
2016	No, the procedure is not dangerous. I will literally just turn your frown upside-down.	1.2235	0.05391	85	69	13	3
2017	I don't know how to say this gently,but I don't think you're going to live through Thanksgiving.	1.2235	0.05645	85	70	11	4
2018	Good news—tests show that you’re a benign tuber.	1.2235	0.05391	85	69	13	3
2019	You are what you eat. But your cholesterol seems way too high for a starch-only diet.	1.2235	0.05391	85	69	13	3
2020	Your insurance will cover all your plastic surgery except for the hat.	1.2235	0.05391	85	69	13	3
2021	Doc, Don't know why; but I have to use toilet as soon as I eat anything.	1.2235	0.05125	85	68	15	2
2022	Do you normally keep adult toys up there, or was it a special occasion?	1.2235	0.05125	85	68	15	2
2023	We’ve contacted your insurance provider and they suggested butter, sour cream and bacon bits	1.2235	0.04844	85	67	17	1
2024	Here's a twist....why don't you pay your past due bill and put a smile on MY face?	1.2235	0.05391	85	69	13	3
2025	You say you have a headache, but everything hurts everywhere except your arms, hands and feet?	1.2234	0.04576	94	74	19	1
2026	One option is to cut out carbs.	1.2234	0.04576	94	74	19	1
2027	How long have you had this inordinate fear of paring knives Mr.... uh.... Head.	1.2234	0.04820	94	75	17	2
2028	And don’t let Little Freddie stick your nose up there again.	1.2234	0.05052	94	76	15	3
2029	Doctor Barbie is off today.	1.2233	0.04766	103	83	17	3
2030	I can certainly reshape your nose, and the ears present no problem. However, I can't do anything about the hat.	1.2233	0.05150	103	85	13	5
2031	Your cholesterol is high. You need to cut out the butter and sour cream.	1.2233	0.04766	103	83	17	3
2032	As we feared, it's a tuber.	1.2222	0.05087	99	81	14	4
2033	Someone’s been a bad carb	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
2034	I'm afraid these test results aren't going to put a smile on your face.	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
2035	I'm looking at your insurance and with your deductible, this is going to cost you an arm and a leg	1.2222	0.05672	72	58	12	2
2036	Names can hurt.	1.2222	0.04881	99	80	16	3
2037	The tests came back, and you're full of carbs.	1.2222	0.06086	81	68	8	5
2038	Good news, the DNA results indicates that you're a potato. not a pear. Shapes can be misleading.	1.2222	0.05423	90	74	12	4
2039	Thank you for being a donor. Blood type potat-O is very rare to find.	1.2222	0.05188	90	73	14	3
2040	For better proportions, we can lengthen your legs or shorten your arms.	1.2222	0.05556	81	66	12	3
2041	I think we should consider cutting back on complex carbs	1.2222	0.04665	99	79	18	2
2042	You’re a long way from the Yukon—and I’m afraid out of network.	1.2222	0.06007	72	59	10	3
2043	It says here you’ve been losing parts…	1.2222	0.04881	99	80	16	3
2044	...and these nightmares, they are about Picasso?	1.2222	0.05556	81	66	12	3
2045	You have to stop eating spuds!	1.2222	0.05188	90	73	14	3
2046	I'll do it for free if you'll play with my kid.	1.2222	0.05188	90	73	14	3
2047	Yes I do appreciate the irony of telling you to cut down on carbs.	1.2222	0.04682	90	71	18	1
2048	Now which eye seems to be the problem?	1.2222	0.05423	90	74	12	4
2049	You say it feels like your nose is about to pop off your face?	1.2222	0.04969	81	64	16	1
2050	Did it hurt when Dan Quayle did not spell your name correctly?	1.2222	0.05188	90	73	14	3
2051	Unfortunately, the one thing we can’t change about you is the problem.	1.2222	0.04665	99	79	18	2
2052	I don't think the keto diet is working....	1.2222	0.05286	99	82	12	5
2053	Any recent changes I should know about?	1.2222	0.04804	108	88	16	4
2054	Have you tried putting sour cream on it?	1.2212	0.05284	104	87	11	6
2055	Best if you remove your ears.	1.2212	0.05105	104	86	13	5
2056	Your wellness checkup looks great. Enjoy your move to Idaho!	1.2212	0.04918	104	85	15	4
2057	I'm sorry, Mr. Head, you'll have to see a plastic surgeon for that.	1.2211	0.05223	95	78	13	4
2058	I‘m glad to hear you‘re getting in better shape, but take it slow. Remember, you‘ve pretty much been a couch potato your whole life.	1.2211	0.05223	95	78	13	4
2059	Mister Head, how long have you been missing your right ear	1.2211	0.05223	95	78	13	4
2060	I'm afraid your insurance doesn't cover transplants	1.2211	0.05004	95	77	15	3
2061	...a lot of these, "half-baked," ailments are all in your head.	1.2211	0.05223	95	78	13	4
2062	Child’s play! We can do it now if you brought the lady parts.	1.2211	0.05004	95	77	15	3
2063	You really need to stop sticking your spare parts there.	1.2209	0.05072	86	69	15	2
2064	I think you're beyond knee replacements.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
2065	It’s okay to hold some things inside but in this case, to save face, I think you should just let it all out.	1.2209	0.05072	86	69	15	2
2066	The procedure will be risky and fun.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
2067	So, a sixty year old found you in her attic?	1.2209	0.05585	86	71	11	4
2068	Look, I know “gym potato” isn’t really a thing, but you’ve got to get yourself off the couch.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
2069	So when did you first notice this overwhelming craving for gravy?	1.2209	0.05825	86	72	9	5
2070	Why are you tired of being ahead?	1.2209	0.05825	86	72	9	5
2071	Your couch-potato lifestyle needs to change.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
2072	My friends enjoy roasting me as well, but that's something you ought to discuss with your psychiatrist, Mr. Head.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
2073	I’m afraid you’ve grown a rather large tuber.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
2074	We first,you have to peel of about 20 pounds.	1.2209	0.05072	86	69	15	2
2075	Fortunately for you, gender reassignment surgery is pretty simple.	1.2209	0.05072	86	69	15	2
2076	So. You’ve had a chip on your shoulder ever since your wife ask you to remove the mustache.	1.2209	0.05825	86	72	9	5
2077	I'm a proctologist, but if you'll turn around I'm pretty sure I could help you with a nose job and a new glasses prescription.	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
2078	Type 2 diabetes.	1.2208	0.05735	77	63	11	3
2079	You say sometimes you feel like you're going to pieces?	1.2208	0.05735	77	63	11	3
2080	Take off your hat, eyebrows, eyes, ears, nose, mustache, arms, and legs and weigh yourself again.	1.2208	0.05735	77	63	11	3
2081	What do you mean you didn't put that part on	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
2082	It says here you're interested in getting plastic surgery?	1.2208	0.05104	77	61	15	1
2083	You’re a funny guy, Mr. Head, but the staff feels you could be funnier.	1.2206	0.05482	68	54	13	1
2084	It's just as we feared. Those growths you were concerned about? Eyes.	1.2206	0.06231	68	56	9	3
2085	We need to have a conversation about starch.	1.2203	0.04525	118	96	18	4
2086	Things aren't looking too good spud. You should take it easy on the starches.	1.2202	0.04195	109	86	22	1
2087	I recommend less starch.	1.2202	0.04764	109	89	16	4
2088	Well, the good news is you have an extra face inside your butt.	1.2202	0.04764	109	89	16	4
2089	We'll pull your arms and legs off and examine them in a separate room	1.2202	0.04582	109	88	18	3
2090	If you don't spend less time in the sun, you'll fry.	1.2200	0.05238	100	83	12	5
2091	You're going to have to start limiting your sodium, but feel free to continue use of the pepper.	1.2200	0.04399	100	79	20	1
2092	That's just the way you're put together.	1.2198	0.04893	91	73	16	2
2093	I'm not sure I can help you, but I can refer you to a knee and ankle specialist if you like.	1.2198	0.04893	91	73	16	2
2094	You have tuberculosis. Unfortunately your insurance doesn't cover the treatment. It's a preexisting condition.	1.2198	0.05369	91	75	12	4
2095	Yes, we'd be happy to furnish you with a prosthetic right arm ...	1.2198	0.05806	91	77	8	6
2096	You should be happy. I had a cold when I left the voice message. I said, "Large tuber" not "Large tumor."	1.2198	0.05136	91	74	14	3
2097	I recommend a colonoscopy.	1.2198	0.05591	91	76	10	5
2098	Many men would envy you, Mr. Testicle.	1.2198	0.05369	91	75	12	4
2099	I've been feeling like I could fall apart at any moment.	1.2198	0.05591	91	76	10	5
2100	You need to cut back on your carbohydrates.	1.2195	0.05494	82	67	12	3
2101	Just to clear this up sir, you feel that parts of you are missing frequently?	1.2195	0.05494	82	67	12	3
2102	Your brain is fried and your head is a bit mashed up, but you should be fine once you peel off the hat.	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
2103	When did these dreams about turning into a bowl of french fries begin?	1.2195	0.05494	82	67	12	3
2104	The numbers aren’t good. You’re going to have to cut back on carbs.	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
2105	Your body fat percentage is shockingly low.	1.2195	0.05762	82	68	10	4
2106	Any hoo, it's malignant.	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
2107	I'm afraid it's blight.	1.2192	0.05602	73	59	12	2
2108	Are you looking to just switch out an eye or an ear, or did you want the complete overhaul?	1.2192	0.05602	73	59	12	2
2109	Quite frankly, it's not the spores I'm concerned about. It's that mustache that keeps me awake at night.	1.2192	0.05932	73	60	10	3
2110	I'm sorry sir, but your insurance doesn't cover cosmetic surgery.	1.2192	0.05602	73	59	12	2
2111	What do you mean you keep all your accessories in your butt?	1.2190	0.04684	105	85	17	3
2112	We see these problems of loneliness with other You-tubers.	1.2190	0.04876	105	86	15	4
2113	At this age, you may notice some changes sprouting up.	1.2190	0.04876	105	86	15	4
2114	The urologist says you don't come with that part.	1.2190	0.04276	105	83	21	1
2115	Any food allergies?	1.2190	0.04684	105	85	17	3
2116	Knee replacement, hip replacement, no problem. I've written you a prescription. You can have it filled at any toy store.	1.2188	0.05581	96	81	9	6
2117	Unfortunately the bill might make your eyes pop out.	1.2188	0.04957	96	78	15	3
2118	Tell me more about this hollow feeling you have recently experienced.	1.2188	0.04730	96	77	17	2
2119	If you want to live longer. I recommend that you avoid butter and sour cream.	1.2188	0.04957	96	78	15	3
2120	It says here that you are Irish and missing your right ear?	1.2188	0.05381	96	80	11	5
2121	You've got to cut out the carbs	1.2188	0.04957	96	78	15	3
2122	Yes, you are definitle a candidate for Ozempic.	1.2185	0.04944	119	100	12	7
2123	I’ve never seen a patient so calm when faced with major surgery.	1.2184	0.04746	87	69	17	1
2124	Turns out your'e some stud,Spud.	1.2184	0.05526	87	72	11	4
2125	Cut down on the carbs.	1.2184	0.05279	87	71	13	3
2126	I'll stop calling you spud when you stop calling me bud.	1.2184	0.05279	87	71	13	3
2127	Looks like all the transplants were a success.	1.2179	0.05046	78	62	15	1
2128	I’m not sure you’d be happy with the results of a facial peel.	1.2179	0.05366	78	63	13	2
2129	When did you stop smoking a pipe.	1.2179	0.05954	78	65	9	4
2130	We can go ahead and swap your eyes with Mrs. Potato Head's, but Billy left her ears at Megan's house so that'll mean a twelve thousand dollar co-pay	1.2178	0.05378	101	85	10	6
2131	How long would you say you haven't had any feeling in your legs?	1.2174	0.05086	92	75	14	3
2132	I’m afraid, sir, that you need a coach, not a couch.	1.2174	0.04845	92	74	16	2
2133	Can you show me where do you feel the most pain in the neck?	1.2174	0.05086	92	75	14	3
2134	The plastic surgery was a success.	1.2174	0.05086	92	75	14	3
2135	In my opinion, you should lose some weight and the hat.	1.2174	0.05086	92	75	14	3
2136	I can cure your baldness by replacing the hat with the moustache.	1.2174	0.04845	92	74	16	2
2137	So glad to see you’re still not smoking.	1.2170	0.04645	106	86	17	3
2138	Your rhinoplasty will only take a minute, Mr. Potato Head.	1.2170	0.04645	106	86	17	3
2139	To be honest, you stopped looking like Angelina Jolie six plastic surgeries ago.	1.2169	0.05950	83	70	8	5
2140	No, I don’t recommend removing your eyes.	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
2141	You're back I see. Glad you have your ears in this time.	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
2142	Risk factor assessment; do your friends frequently get smashed?	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
2143	The eye exam will cost extra.	1.2169	0.05156	83	67	14	2
2144	Contrary to what most Americans think, a potato is not a vegetable. And in your case, that's a good thing.	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
2145	It's time for your plastic implants to be replaced.	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
2146	Nobody wears hats anymore.	1.2169	0.05698	83	69	10	4
2147	So, I would advice against the chemical peel.	1.2165	0.05124	97	80	13	4
2148	Regrettably Mr. Spud, if you continue with your party-game lifestyle, your declining years will be spent in a casserole.	1.2165	0.05124	97	80	13	4
2149	Chives are OK, but you should cut back on the sour cream.	1.2165	0.04203	97	76	21	0
2150	I’m afraid you’ve got a bone spud.	1.2165	0.04910	97	79	15	3
2151	I’m concerned that you seem to have only two eyes.	1.2165	0.05124	97	80	13	4
2152	So, you say it been how long since you've seen your knees?	1.2165	0.05124	97	80	13	4
2153	It appears to be a simple sprout, but just to be on the safe side, let's microwave it.	1.2162	0.05188	74	59	14	1
2154	I’ve never had that request before, but I don’t see why not.	1.2162	0.05533	74	60	12	2
2155	Don't worry, we're going to turn that frown upside down	1.2162	0.05533	74	60	12	2
2156	First, we need to do something about that hat.	1.2162	0.05858	74	61	10	3
2157	I feel fried.	1.2162	0.05533	74	60	12	2
2158	I'm going to pieces!	1.2159	0.05225	88	72	13	3
2159	So, how exactly did Timmy's parents play with you?	1.2159	0.05225	88	72	13	3
2160	We were able to put your ear and nose back where they belong. But unfortunatley you still dont have pants on.	1.2159	0.05225	88	72	13	3
2161	Your waistline could use some work	1.2159	0.04968	88	71	15	2
2162	If you feel this mashed now, just wait until November 23rd and you see your next visit deductible cost.	1.2159	0.05469	88	73	11	4
2163	Turn yourself and cough.	1.2159	0.04411	88	69	19	0
2164	Have you sent a form to the manufacturer for replacement parts?	1.2159	0.05469	88	73	11	4
2165	Good morning Mr. Head. Are you the one they call Spud?	1.2159	0.05469	88	73	11	4
2166	May I ask you to remove your hat, ears, eyes, nose, mustache…”	1.2159	0.05703	88	74	9	5
2167	There is a genetic marker. Are you closely related to the Dumpty family?	1.2157	0.05144	102	85	12	5
2168	It’s true, you are what you eat	1.2152	0.05603	79	65	11	3
2169	First get rid of that couch.	1.2152	0.04990	79	63	15	1
2170	I’m sorry, but we need to take both feet, an ear and your nose.	1.2152	0.05885	79	66	9	4
2171	About that rectal exam…	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
2172	Do you want your test results julienne or crinkle-cut?	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
2173	Your insurance only covers chips”	1.2152	0.05603	79	65	11	3
2174	Well Mr. Planter, I’m sorry to inform you that your genetic profile reveals you to be not nut but bean”	1.2152	0.04653	79	62	17	0
2175	You would not BELIEVE what we found shoved up your butt.	1.2151	0.05263	93	77	12	4
2176	No we can't just remove it and replace it with a bigger one.	1.2151	0.04798	93	75	16	2
2177	Unfortunately it's genetic, meaning you may pass it down to any tater tots you may have.	1.2151	0.04548	93	74	18	1
2178	We'll have to amputate your legs, arms, ears, nose, eyes, eyebrows, mustache and hat.	1.2151	0.05481	93	78	10	5
2179	If it happens again, to restore your previous appearance I'd recommend using "Krazy Glue".	1.2151	0.04548	93	74	18	1
2180	Since you have no excretion mechanisms, everything you eat accumulates.	1.2150	0.04974	107	89	13	5
2181	I’m afraid it’s all going to have to come off	1.2150	0.04605	107	87	17	3
2182	Your starch levels are incredibly high.	1.2143	0.05375	84	69	12	3
2183	So how long have you felt this top heavy?	1.2143	0.05077	98	81	13	4
2184	Finally, the nuances of being an egghead!	1.2143	0.05375	84	69	12	3
2185	We all change as we get older	1.2143	0.04644	98	79	17	2
2186	I don't normally recommend hash.	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
2187	Unfortunately, my diagnosis is couch potato.	1.2143	0.06068	70	58	9	3
2188	We can tell by your skinny arms that you are a tech worker	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
2189	You're a potato.	1.2143	0.05885	84	71	8	5
2190	bad news..we're going to have to put your ears where your eyes are.	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
2191	You need to lose enough weight to at least be able to see your legs.	1.2143	0.04812	84	67	16	1
2192	Okay, lose the boots...let's have a look at those tots.	1.2143	0.05636	84	70	10	4
2193	Gastric bypass might help, but getting off the couch would be a first good step.	1.2143	0.05375	84	69	12	3
2194	Yes, Mr. Potato Head. Bad eyes are a common tater trait.	1.2143	0.05636	84	70	10	4
2195	You're healthy. Just don't get loaded.	1.2143	0.05375	84	69	12	3
2196	As your doctor I recommend against getting smashed this Thanksgiving	1.2143	0.04865	98	80	15	3
2197	If you want to have kids, you are going to have to poke your eyes out.	1.2143	0.05717	70	57	11	2
2198	Given the shape you’re in, I recommend a low-carb diet.	1.2143	0.05077	98	81	13	4
2199	When I suggested cutting out carbs, I didn't mean doing away with the missus.	1.2143	0.04865	98	80	15	3
2200	Your diet chart indicates that you need to limit your carbs.	1.2137	0.04514	117	96	17	4
2201	Again, stay away from the starch!	1.2136	0.05281	103	87	10	6
2202	You're low on potassium.	1.2136	0.04503	103	83	18	2
2203	I've never seen anything like this...you're a potato.	1.2136	0.05281	103	87	10	6
2204	I can promise you, everything is where it should be.	1.2136	0.04503	103	83	18	2
2205	Why yes, I believe we have a couch in exam room A.	1.2135	0.04918	89	72	15	2
2206	So, the gown didn't fit?	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
2207	Unfortunately your insurance won’t cover medication for depression no matter how empty you feel inside.	1.2135	0.04368	89	70	19	0
2208	I'd recommend a flu shot, but, you won't be 'certified organic' any more.	1.2135	0.04651	89	71	17	1
2209	Your carbs are a little high…	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
2210	I suspect chronic anthropomorphism.	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
2211	That x ray gave us quite a scare but we’re pretty sure you’re a carb	1.2135	0.04918	89	72	15	2
2212	The good news: we found a torso donor. The bad news: it's a yam.	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
2213	You might want to reduce your carbohydrates.	1.2135	0.04918	89	72	15	2
2214	Is it pronounced Mr. Potātohead or Mr. Potátohead?	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
2215	Police said they found you in a moderate oven with the timer set for forty-five minutes. Therapy should help deal with your suicidal ideation.	1.2135	0.04918	89	72	15	2
2216	Not a concern. People live long and healthy lives without a torso.	1.2135	0.05643	89	75	9	5
2217	It’s as I thought. You have too much starch in your diet.	1.2135	0.05412	89	74	11	4
2218	So your say your symptoms are a hollow feeling and you keep falling apart?	1.2133	0.05467	75	61	12	2
2219	So let me get this straight. You say a child pulled your ear off your head and put it where your arm is supposed to be?	1.2133	0.05127	75	60	14	1
2220	I’m afraid it’s serious. You have no internal organs.	1.2133	0.05127	75	60	14	1
2221	She may say she has an intolerance, but you tell your wife you're gluten-free	1.2133	0.05787	75	62	10	3
2222	Your test results are in. I recommend you get off the couch a little more often.	1.2133	0.05787	75	62	10	3
2223	Any mobility issues?	1.2133	0.06090	75	63	8	4
2224	"When I saw 'full-body headache' on the paperwork, I thought the Neurology folks were pranking me again."	1.2133	0.05127	75	60	14	1
2225	You need to exercise more - water pressure is too high.	1.2128	0.04752	94	76	16	2
2226	Now if I told you once, I told you twice Mr. Dumpty that if sit on that wall it can lead to consequences.	1.2128	0.05427	94	79	10	5
2227	You have Air Fryer fear.	1.2128	0.04244	94	74	20	0
2228	It took two years but we got you back together.	1.2128	0.05427	94	79	10	5
2229	No, your eyes are not poisonous.	1.2128	0.05212	94	78	12	4
2230	Avoid being mashed, au gratin, french fried, or in tater salad.	1.2128	0.04987	94	77	14	3
2231	You are too much over carbohydrates Mr. Potato head.	1.2128	0.04987	94	77	14	3
2232	Well, Harry, you’re way out of shape and your starch level is off the charts.	1.2128	0.04987	94	77	14	3
2233	You’ll be good to go after I snap on a new right arm.	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
2234	Well, we did find a tuber, but that's not surprising.	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
2235	You appear to be genetically predisposed to run for office.	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
2236	It says your wife is concerned you're a malignant tuber...	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
2237	Fortunately, we found a donor.	1.2125	0.04934	80	64	15	1
2238	No, I don’t think it’s all in your head.	1.2125	0.05817	80	67	9	4
2239	Yes, fertility is a concern and no, we do not carry that part.	1.2125	0.05817	80	67	9	4
2240	Well, looks like all your parts check out.	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
2241	That second opinion? Sounds half baked!	1.2125	0.05817	80	67	9	4
2242	Overall, I'd say you are hot, sweet, baked, mashed, and couchy, as I would have expected.	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
2243	Well Spud, technically you are a vegetable.	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
2244	So you feel like a part of you is missing?	1.2125	0.04934	80	64	15	1
2245	The good news is your parts are reattachable	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
2246	Don't worry. Most guys your age are half-baked,	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
2247	Have you considered donating your body to the Children's Hospital after you pass?	1.2121	0.05231	99	83	11	5
2248	I remind you that this is your fifth and final full facial transplant.	1.2121	0.05030	99	82	13	4
2249	It's just chlorophyll causing your green bottom. It's harmless, but everyone will wonder if you're toxic.	1.2121	0.05030	99	82	13	4
2250	Are you fairly active or are you more of a couch potato?	1.2121	0.04372	99	79	19	1
2251	The good news is yes—in your case, a sex change operation is extremely possible. The bad news is I’m a dentist.	1.2121	0.06660	66	56	6	4
2252	Normally, I would recommend that you store your additional eyes, noses, ears, and lips elsewhere.	1.2121	0.06301	66	55	8	3
2253	Looks like carbs are keeping you in good shape.	1.2121	0.04821	99	81	15	3
2254	You look good. But I am again recommending you avoid contact with any frying pans.	1.2118	0.05317	85	70	12	3
2255	I'm referring you to a Botanical Neurologist.	1.2118	0.05317	85	70	12	3
2256	You have to cut out the french fries.	1.2118	0.04762	85	68	16	1
2257	It's all your mother's fault!	1.2118	0.05047	85	69	14	2
2258	I'm afraid your plan considers plastic surgery elective.	1.2118	0.04762	85	68	16	1
2259	Great costume Mr. Trump....but should they call you Dick or Mr. Tater	1.2118	0.05575	85	71	10	4
2260	I'm afraid those eyes have got to go.	1.2118	0.05820	85	72	8	5
2261	If there are symptoms of blight then they appear to be only in your head	1.2118	0.05575	85	71	10	4
2262	I'm afraid you have tatertotophobia	1.2118	0.05317	85	70	12	3
2263	Those aren't potato eyes, they’re anal warts.	1.2115	0.04864	104	86	14	4
2264	You might want to cut down on the carbs	1.2115	0.04464	104	84	18	2
2265	I’d tell you to lay off the carbs, but you are a carb.	1.2115	0.04864	104	86	14	4
2266	I do have some recommendations, Mr. Starchy McStarchface.	1.2115	0.04668	104	85	16	3
2267	Too much starch, let's find ways to work more green vegetables into your diet.	1.2115	0.04864	104	86	14	4
2268	Well, at your age it is typical to sprout new eyes but a face peel is out of the question.	1.2113	0.05275	71	57	13	1
2269	We’ve run all the tests and, once again, rest assured, everything is exactly where it should be.	1.2113	0.05275	71	57	13	1
2270	Sorry, my nurse didn't say stud. She said, "I put the spud in room four.	1.2113	0.05644	71	58	11	2
2271	Luckily the transplant will be a simple procedure	1.2113	0.05644	71	58	11	2
2272	Frankly, sir, you don’t want to see the X-Ray.	1.2111	0.04869	90	73	15	2
2273	First off let me just say, I'm a big fan of your work.	1.2111	0.05119	90	74	13	3
2274	Good news, your insurance covers all your plastic prosthetic replacements.	1.2111	0.05357	90	75	11	4
2275	Your lab tests all look fine but you may want to cut down on the starches for a while.	1.2110	0.04890	109	91	13	5
2276	You need to cut back on carbohydrates	1.2110	0.04337	109	88	19	2
2277	You say your name is Mr. Potato Head and you're seeking vegetable change surgery?	1.2110	0.04713	109	90	15	4
2278	I'm surprised by your starchy reaction to this prognosis.	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
2279	Would you introduce me to Woody and Buzz?	1.2105	0.05717	76	63	10	3
2280	The Good News is that your facelift will be an out-patient procedure..	1.2105	0.04708	76	60	16	0
2281	You must limit your carbs	1.2105	0.05161	95	79	12	4
2282	The probability you will have a fall is very high.	1.2105	0.05717	76	63	10	3
2283	So how does it make you feel to be living above ground?	1.2105	0.05717	76	63	10	3
2284	I'm very sorry Mr.Chaney, but little can be done for werepotato condition.	1.2105	0.05161	95	79	12	4
2285	I see here you a donor, organic vodka. Nice.	1.2105	0.06301	76	65	6	5
2286	Is potato	1.2105	0.06301	76	65	6	5
2287	The good news is that in your case, gender affirming care is rather rudimentary.	1.2105	0.06301	76	65	6	5
2288	Do you have a family history of scalloped, mashed or baked?	1.2105	0.04940	95	78	14	3
2289	We could make your facial features removable, but you're still going to be a potato. You're never going to be an eggplant.	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
2290	Believe it or not, new eye growth isn’t that uncommon at your age.	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
2291	I know it will be difficult. But you need to cut back on carbs.	1.2100	0.04984	100	83	13	4
2292	I'm a little worried about your hips and knees.	1.2100	0.04984	100	83	13	4
2293	I think we can get the replacement parts from Amazon.	1.2100	0.04777	100	82	15	3
2294	Relax! Idaho farmers are introducing Miss Sweet Potatoes	1.2100	0.04777	100	82	15	3
2295	We’d like to enroll you in our organ donation program.	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
2296	It sounds like glue might do the trick.	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
2297	Well, the good news is your vitamin C levels are strong. The bad news is we can't find a heartbeat.	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
2298	DR : " you have multiple punctures in your skin and say you are ' 'feeling baked ' . apply butter, sour cream and salt and pepper for some relief , mister P "	1.2099	0.05476	81	67	11	3
2299	Oh Mr. Potatohead tell me, is it true that pain is beauty.	1.2099	0.05751	81	68	9	4
2300	So,which part is hurting you today?	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
2301	You're allergic to ketchup.	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
2302	Since you've made it this far as you are,just keep doing what you're doing.	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
2303	Call me a narcissist,doc- I love carbs.	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
2304	Frankly I find it a little hard to believe that you "just fell" on it. But, yes, we can get it out of there.	1.2099	0.05751	81	68	9	4
2305	How many carbs do eat in a day?	1.2099	0.05476	81	67	11	3
2306	'Let me guess: headaches again?'	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
2307	I wish I had better news so you might want to get your frown out for this.	1.2099	0.05751	81	68	9	4
2308	So, you can't decide if you want to be fried, boiled or baked.	1.2099	0.05751	81	68	9	4
2309	We think your health will return if you resume your role as Mr. Potato Head.	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
2310	I didn't know they ever used real potatoes.	1.2095	0.05188	105	89	10	6
2311	I don't want to toy with you. If we don't get to the root of the problem, you may have to have parts transplants.	1.2095	0.04822	105	87	14	4
2312	I think you should cut down on the carbs.	1.2095	0.04426	105	85	18	2
2313	Your cholesterol is fine, but your blight seems to be acting up.	1.2093	0.05515	86	72	10	4
2314	Well, your eyes are excellent.	1.2093	0.04712	86	69	16	1
2315	Your drug test shows that you're half-baked.	1.2093	0.04994	86	70	14	2
2316	It appears you have spudliois.	1.2093	0.04994	86	70	14	2
2317	A loaded potato does not mean what you think it is.	1.2093	0.05758	86	73	8	5
2318	You're going to have to layoff carbs.	1.2093	0.05515	86	72	10	4
2319	It's not a prostate problem. You can't pee because you're a potato.	1.2093	0.05261	86	71	12	3
2320	I don't think it's leprosy.	1.2093	0.05261	86	71	12	3
2321	Now, tell me again how you got on the table?	1.2093	0.04712	86	69	16	1
2322	Nothing appears to be out of place.	1.2093	0.04994	86	70	14	2
2323	Not to worry. This scrip will turn you from a spud to a stud	1.2093	0.05515	86	72	10	4
2324	Obviously the statin isn't working as we'd hoped.	1.2093	0.05515	86	72	10	4
2325	I'm writing a new prescription: no more sitting on walls.	1.2093	0.04412	86	68	18	0
2326	All you need is some good sleep… and maybe some butter, chives, cheese, bacon bits, a dollop of sour cream… sorry did I say that last part out loud?	1.2091	0.04849	110	92	13	5
2327	Let's start with the starch.	1.2090	0.06214	67	56	8	3
2328	Do you mind removing your nose for me?	1.2090	0.06568	67	57	6	4
2329	Therapy will include one hour at 425 degrees, followed by large doses of butter and sour cream.	1.2088	0.04560	91	73	17	1
2330	Good news! Your skin is quite healthy.	1.2088	0.04821	91	74	15	2
2331	Hmm, I’m a little concerned about your BMI Mr Beautato!	1.2088	0.05303	91	76	11	4
2332	Yes, diarrhea and constipation are side-effects of Ozempic. But once again, and I can't stress this enough, you don't have an anus.	1.2088	0.05745	91	78	7	6
2333	I’m sorry, but you have a brain tuber.	1.2088	0.05068	91	75	13	3
2334	For this exam, you'll need to remove your hat, eyebrows, eyes, ears, nose, mouth, arms, feet and mustache.	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
2335	Try cutting back on starch	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
2336	You need to do more walking or you're baked.	1.2083	0.06235	72	61	7	4
2337	So I see you’re quite the spud now.	1.2083	0.05112	96	80	12	4
2338	You didn't fill out your marital status. Is there a Mrs. Potato Head?	1.2083	0.05210	72	58	13	1
2339	Oh it's you, from the hat transplant!	1.2083	0.04663	96	78	16	2
2340	Cut back on the ketchup and bacon bits and you will be fine in no time.	1.2083	0.05112	96	80	12	4
2341	We both agree it's plastic surgery, but your insurance company will not cover mustache removal.	1.2083	0.05112	96	80	12	4
2342	You’re too heavy, either lose the couch or lose the mouth.	1.2083	0.05112	96	80	12	4
2343	We removed your appendix and placed it somewhere else.	1.2083	0.05913	72	60	9	3
2344	No, dude, a headache and a stomachache are totally different things.	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
2345	Either pull yourself together or go to pieces.	1.2083	0.04893	96	79	14	3
2346	It says here, sir, that you claimed you wanted to go on a diet that would make you 'flatter than a tortilla.'	1.2083	0.04820	72	57	15	0
2347	Let me start with good news,your head size is normal.	1.2079	0.04734	101	83	15	3
2348	Soak yourself in buttermilk and see me tomorrow with a pinch of salt.	1.2079	0.05324	101	86	9	6
2349	And no carbs. I mean really, none.	1.2079	0.04939	101	84	13	4
2350	Too much starch in your diet. And avoid fried foods.	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
2351	I know this will be difficult, but it's time to cut back on the carbs.	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
2352	I suggest you cut back on carbs.	1.2078	0.05649	77	64	10	3
2353	Well I never thought I’d encounter this situation, but I’ll have to get Dr. Smith to complete your prescription - the pharmacy just won’t believe we coincidentally have the same name	1.2078	0.05649	77	64	10	3
2354	Don't think of it as a procedure, think of it as a rearrangement	1.2078	0.05649	77	64	10	3
2355	Good news. We know why you've been constipated.	1.2075	0.05143	106	90	10	6
2356	Well Mister P, other than those dark spots on your body, everything is fine.	1.2075	0.04589	106	87	16	3
2357	Your glucose is elevated.	1.2075	0.04965	106	89	12	5
2358	Maybe try switching over to the smiley mouth and thumbs up arm?	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
2359	I'm afraid your insurance doesn't cover any other mustaches.	1.2073	0.05686	82	69	9	4
2360	Changing your nose should be easy.	1.2073	0.05415	82	68	11	3
2361	Let's get that junk out of your trunk.	1.2073	0.05686	82	69	9	4
2362	It says here that you'd like to have an enema.	1.2073	0.05945	82	70	7	5
2363	The exam is usually done with MY hand.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
2364	Your problem is that you're a potato.	1.2073	0.05686	82	69	9	4
2365	You have blight.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
2366	It shows that you are one third Dumpty	1.2073	0.05945	82	70	7	5
2367	What! You didn’t wear a mask?!?	1.2073	0.04504	82	65	17	0
2368	I can give you a cream but you really shouldn’t be storing anything in there.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
2369	Do you have a family history of being cut in half and having all your insides taken out?	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
2370	You're medically cleared to travel abroad, Mr. Potato-head. Just stay away from hot tubs if you're in France.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
2371	The procedure's pretty simple. We're gonna pop out your nose and put a new one in.	1.2069	0.05206	87	72	12	3
2372	So, you planned to propose but realized you don't have knees?	1.2069	0.05456	87	73	10	4
2373	Rather than put you on a vigorous exercise program, I think I'll just change out your arms.	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
2374	Yes, we will be examining the contents of your posterior compartment today, but the procedure is painless.	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
2375	The good news is, you still have appeal.	1.2069	0.05206	87	72	12	3
2376	The problem is you have no body.	1.2069	0.05456	87	73	10	4
2377	Yes, now that Halloween is over, you’re safe transitioning to a pumpkin.	1.2069	0.05456	87	73	10	4
2378	If you don't stop walking the actor's strike picket line, you'll be baked in no time.	1.2069	0.05206	87	72	12	3
2379	So how long have you been afraid of kids?	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
2380	I want you to see an ENT doc. That ear is a bit too loose.	1.2069	0.05206	87	72	12	3
2381	Turn around for me and drop you butt hatch, and I’ll take a look at your other parts.	1.2069	0.05206	87	72	12	3
2382	Well, the thing about low-carb is...	1.2069	0.05456	87	73	10	4
2383	I’m afraid I can’t help you, I’m a urologist.	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
2384	Lay off the starches.	1.2065	0.04773	92	75	15	2
2385	Your blood sugar is low, but your carbs need some work.	1.2065	0.04516	92	74	17	1
2386	Your preference, boiled, baked, or fried.	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
2387	I'm sorry, Mr. Head, but I'm afraid you're going to need more than a tummy tuck.	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
2388	High blood sugar -sure; but the good news is that you have low cholesterol!	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
2389	So, you want me to put your spuds back on so you can make some more baby potatoes?	1.2065	0.05250	92	77	11	4
2390	Sir, even the best plastic surgeon in the world can't just take your nose off and reattach it.	1.2065	0.04773	92	75	15	2
2391	Yikes. Not good.	1.2065	0.04773	92	75	15	2
2392	And I say dia-BEE-tes. Either way, we’ll start you on insulin.	1.2065	0.04773	92	75	15	2
2393	Your knees are gone!	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
2394	Your colonoscopy shows you have a blockage. It appears to be a second outfit and a nose.	1.2062	0.05064	97	81	12	4
2395	Normally it's best you keep your organs attached to your body.	1.2059	0.05760	68	56	10	2
2396	Your head is fine, but your body is missing.	1.2059	0.05089	102	86	11	5
2397	We can switch out your eyes, ears, nose and you’ll look like a different person.	1.2059	0.05760	68	56	10	2
2398	Hat and shoes also, Dave, if we're gonna do this right.	1.2059	0.05089	102	86	11	5
2399	Sorry to hear that hilarious new part is causing such pain . Let's have it out, shall we?	1.2059	0.05760	68	56	10	2
2400	The MRI revealed a very large head mass but unfortunately it is inoperable. That'll be $7509.36 for the imaging. The radiologist charges separately. Oh, I see here you are not in our network.	1.2059	0.05760	68	56	10	2
2401	I’d recommend skipping France and returning to Idaho	1.2059	0.05760	68	56	10	2
2402	Your checkup today comes with a pat of butter and chives.	1.2059	0.04894	102	85	13	4
2403	I'm sorry Mr. Head, your stiff neck appears genetic, but the nose job and ear bob will be no problem.	1.2059	0.05760	68	56	10	2
2404	If you don't start listening to me, you are going to end up back in the ground	1.2059	0.06478	68	58	6	4
2405	Your friend notified us once you started calling him "Woody".	1.2059	0.05366	68	55	12	1
2406	Unfortunately, your insurance doesn't cover body implants.	1.2056	0.04351	107	87	18	2
2407	We need to take the nose.	1.2055	0.05839	73	61	9	3
2408	As a diabetic, you will, of course, have to cut down on carbohydrates.	1.2055	0.05503	73	60	11	2
2409	You're have to cut back on the pretend carbs.	1.2055	0.06156	73	62	7	4
2410	Bad news is you are super overweight, good news is your cholesterol is zero.	1.2055	0.05146	73	59	13	1
2411	The results came in. You're having Tots.	1.2051	0.05873	78	66	8	4
2412	Congrats. What you have is Appendage Detachment Disorder, A.D.D., which was made available when attention deficit disorder merger with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.	1.2051	0.05873	78	66	8	4
2413	Mr. Potato, the X-rays indicate it's all in your head.	1.2051	0.05583	78	65	10	3
2414	Doctor: "I'm sorry but it's terminal. They will eat you."	1.2051	0.05583	78	65	10	3
2415	And you have NO IDEA how they got up there?	1.2051	0.05873	78	66	8	4
2416	I feel disconnected.	1.2048	0.05073	83	68	13	2
2417	Why you are wearing a hat inside?	1.2048	0.05073	83	68	13	2
2418	A headache? That's serious!	1.2048	0.05073	83	68	13	2
2419	Doc, I can't get off the couch.	1.2048	0.05623	83	70	9	4
2420	Wd need to talk about carbs.	1.2048	0.05623	83	70	9	4
2421	Cutting out starch would have terrible consequences for you.	1.2048	0.05355	83	69	11	3
2422	So, your here because you wish to get your tubers tied?	1.2048	0.05355	83	69	11	3
2423	2 tablespoons of butter, a teaspoon of salt and a nice hot bath should fix you right up.	1.2048	0.05355	83	69	11	3
2424	The good news is that you have all of your parts. The bad news is that one wants to play with you anymore.	1.2045	0.05152	88	73	12	3
2425	Would you mind telling me how you got here?	1.2045	0.05152	88	73	12	3
2426	It says here you need a new pair of angry eyes since you accidentally flushed yours down the toilet.	1.2045	0.05636	88	75	8	5
2427	We'll have to run some more tests to get to the root of your problem	1.2045	0.04617	88	71	16	1
2428	You’re going to have to wear pants.	1.2045	0.05152	88	73	12	3
2429	I suggest you don't work in the oil business - you could end up as a latke...	1.2045	0.05152	88	73	12	3
2430	You're fine, but I think a snap brim fedora would take years off your look."	1.2045	0.05636	88	75	8	5
2431	Let me refer you to a head-shrinker.	1.2045	0.04891	88	72	14	2
2432	Have you considered the Atkins diet?	1.2045	0.04617	88	71	16	1
2433	If you keep up with the tanning bed, I’m afraid you’ll become delicious.	1.2043	0.05198	93	78	11	4
2434	I'm afraid we have to bill you an arm and a leg for that.	1.2043	0.05630	93	80	7	6
2435	It seems your brain has been fried.	1.2043	0.04968	93	77	13	3
2436	There appears to be an eye under your left ear.	1.2043	0.04727	93	76	15	2
2437	I feel empty inside." -Ashley Caudill, 13 years ol	1.2043	0.04968	93	77	13	3
2438	Everything looks fine, except for your eyes”	1.2043	0.04968	93	77	13	3
2439	It could be tuberculosis.	1.2043	0.04968	93	77	13	3
2440	Bad news. Your entire face is on upside down.	1.2041	0.04577	98	80	16	2
2441	So you want a touch up before Toy Story 5?	1.2041	0.05016	98	82	12	4
2442	Are you African American, Asian, Hispanic, White, or prefer not to answer?	1.2041	0.04802	98	81	14	3
2443	Well at least your vitamin levels are high.	1.2039	0.04851	103	86	13	4
2444	How did you get on top of the wall in the first place...	1.2039	0.05228	103	88	9	6
2445	The eyes will have to come out.	1.2039	0.04441	103	84	17	2
2446	It's all in your head - you need a shrink	1.2037	0.04699	108	90	14	4
2447	Now, if I could just check your reflexes...	1.2031	0.05968	64	53	9	2
2448	I'm afraid your eye exam is inconclusive.	1.2031	0.05069	64	51	13	0
2449	Now, please remove your hat, shoes, nose, ears, and eyes and roll over.	1.2029	0.05684	69	57	10	2
2450	The parts would be easy enough to swap out, but not in Idaho.”	1.2029	0.06047	69	58	8	3
2451	Those eyes have been growing, which is not unusual for a potato of your age.	1.2027	0.05766	74	62	9	3
2452	A potatoscopy will not make you feel better.	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
2453	You're right to want a physical trainer, but I would say that first of all you'll need a completely new cartoonist.	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
2454	You just need some rest and limit your starches ....	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
2455	You report that, at times, you lose your sight, or hearing, nose, eyebrows and mustache. Your wife reported the same thing, but she never wears a mustache!	1.2027	0.05083	74	60	13	1
2456	As a proctologist, it’s not often that I’m asked to look for a patient’s ‘other mustache.’ But, yes, we found it.	1.2027	0.06079	74	63	7	4
2457	Your colonoscopy revealed a second set of facial features.	1.2027	0.06079	74	63	7	4
2458	I agree: pear-shaped is neither a scientific nor inclusive body type description.	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
2459	No. You can’t be a couch potato if you don’t have a TV	1.2027	0.05766	74	62	9	3
2460	You'll be a new potato in no time.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
2461	I remember learning about your condition when playing doctor in preschool.”	1.2025	0.05804	79	67	8	4
2462	Your heart... it's mashed.	1.2025	0.05215	79	65	12	2
2463	I'm afraid if you have lost your other pieces, your only option is mild bemusement.	1.2025	0.05215	79	65	12	2
2464	You should mix more with carrots, onions, broth, garlic, squash, and greens.	1.2025	0.05804	79	67	8	4
2465	i'm a vegetarian	1.2025	0.04894	79	64	14	1
2466	I'd try to cut down on the carbs.	1.2025	0.04550	79	63	16	0
2467	Now I'll need to remove a shoe and hear you cough	1.2025	0.05804	79	67	8	4
2468	We found several items in your butt, including false teeth.	1.2025	0.04894	79	64	14	1
2469	The tests indicate you’re a nut case.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
2470	So you're saying you have a spare arm in your butt?	1.2025	0.05215	79	65	12	2
2471	I can't recommend that kind of peel.	1.2025	0.05215	79	65	12	2
2472	All the tests are normal, but I'm worried about cognitive impairment. It says here you don't know your first name.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
2473	Your DNA test shows roots back to Peru.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
2474	So. I am counting 9 Prostheses including the Hat.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
2475	Looks like you'll have to cut back on the butter and sour cream.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
2476	So how often do you feel your arms have been dislocated?	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
2477	Sir, I highly recommend we operate before they sprout.	1.2024	0.04724	84	68	15	1
2478	Having two eyes is actually well below average.	1.2024	0.04410	84	67	17	0
2479	I’ll trust your reflexes are fine.	1.2024	0.04724	84	68	15	1
2480	You're in luck. You CAN get a plug-in member!	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
2481	Any peanut allergies?	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
2482	Just maybe switch to rice?	1.2024	0.04724	84	68	15	1
2483	I'm afraid we'll have to ampotate.	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
2484	In a jiffy--I've got a box of unused Mrs. Potato Head parts in the other room.	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
2485	I need you to turn your head and cough.	1.2024	0.05813	84	72	7	5
2486	I'm sorry to tell you, but you're past expiration.	1.2024	0.05297	84	70	11	3
2487	Says here...so you don't want to end up like your great, great, great, grandson?	1.2022	0.04570	89	72	16	1
2488	."I have a strange fear of cooking oil."	1.2022	0.05099	89	74	12	3
2489	You blood test came back negative ...for blood.	1.2022	0.04570	89	72	16	1
2490	You’ll need a different type of plastic surgeon.	1.2022	0.04570	89	72	16	1
2491	Why don't your stretch your legs a little?	1.2022	0.05343	89	75	10	4
2492	We've come to understand that their location is not clinically relevant. What's key is that you should have no more than two eyes.	1.2022	0.05343	89	75	10	4
2493	Now I'm going to give you three words to remember, Mr. Dumpty. Sat. Wall. Fall."	1.2022	0.05099	89	74	12	3
2494	I'm sorry, the news couldn't be worse: it's a fungus.	1.2022	0.05099	89	74	12	3
2495	After the procedure you won't be able to have tots.	1.2022	0.05343	89	75	10	4
2496	I warned you about eating too many carbs!	1.2022	0.05099	89	74	12	3
2497	You have leprosy.	1.2022	0.05801	89	77	6	6
2498	Doc, I know I'm overweight, but my shredded friends are not any happier.	1.2022	0.04842	89	73	14	2
2499	A recent study showed that for people such as you an addition of sour cream could improve you greatly."	1.2021	0.04920	94	78	13	3
2500	Would you prefer to be mashed or fried?	1.2021	0.04920	94	78	13	3
2501	I know it’s a gross thought, Mr. Potato Head, but you are what you eat	1.2021	0.05147	94	79	11	4
2502	Let’s talk carbs	1.2021	0.04682	94	77	15	2
2503	I have the results of your tests. You've smoked so much marijuana that you're baked.	1.2021	0.04920	94	78	13	3
2504	We can remove the mustache, but not the hat.	1.2021	0.05147	94	79	11	4
2505	When did you start having this impulse to sit on walls?	1.2020	0.04969	99	83	12	4
2506	Good news is, we found your glasses, bad news is where we found them.	1.2019	0.04808	104	87	13	4
2507	Didn't we discuss cutting back on those carbs?	1.2019	0.04998	104	88	11	5
2508	For you, plastic surgery will be relatively cheap.	1.2018	0.04280	109	89	18	2
2509	I'm sorry but we still have yet to locate your missing ear from the surgery.	1.2017	0.04711	119	101	12	6
2510	Legs are on back order.	1.2000	0.04839	80	65	14	1
2511	Mr. Head, our tests confirm that you are, in fact, 96% enormous potato.	1.2000	0.05369	75	62	11	2
2512	Really nothing to worry about. We'll be searching toy chests and dog excrement for the next few days. We're very optimistic."	1.2000	0.05883	65	54	9	2
2513	Getting baked and loaded every night is no solution to being canceled.	1.2000	0.05883	65	54	9	2
2514	I don’t suppose I could get you to switch to a sweet potatohead?	1.2000	0.04389	95	77	17	1
2515	They aren't what you think. Stop trusting medical advice from YouTubers.	1.2000	0.06003	75	64	7	4
2516	I think I need to recuse myself and see a psychiatrist.	1.2000	0.05500	85	72	9	4
2517	Another nose job sure, but I’m not writing ‘Taylor Swift’ on your foot.	1.2000	0.05695	75	63	9	3
2518	I’m going to recommend you see an eye doctor.	1.2000	0.05454	80	67	10	3
2519	The most common complication is something we call a rearrangement.	1.2000	0.04839	80	65	14	1
2520	Maybe you should change your face.	1.2000	0.05500	85	72	9	4
2521	I can certainly write you a prescription for a larger hat.	1.2000	0.05022	75	61	13	1
2522	No, sir, that is sprouting, not hemorrhoids.	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
2523	I c	1.2000	0.05239	85	71	11	3
2524	So, how do you think the no-carbs diet is going ?	1.2000	0.04621	110	92	14	4
2525	You're not supposed to be able to see out of all those "eyes." You're fine.	1.2000	0.05454	80	67	10	3
2526	Bad news, your insurance doesn't cover elective surgery.	1.2000	0.05239	85	71	11	3
2527	Yes, you are organic. But that doesn’t mean you have functioning organs.	1.2000	0.05228	70	57	12	1
2528	Before I tell you these results, I have to ask: Did you bring your frowny face?	1.2000	0.05519	90	77	8	5
2529	Doc, I'm finding it hard to hold it together...	1.2000	0.04965	85	70	13	2
2530	Actually, Russ we can do all the work ; nose, ears, eyes and eyebrows, today as an outpatient.	1.2000	0.05883	65	54	9	2
2531	A tuber that identifies as a fruit? Wait 'til JK Rowling gets a load of this.	1.2000	0.04872	95	79	13	3
2532	I see. Well, do you think you could bring it to your next appointment?	1.2000	0.05737	80	68	8	4
2533	You've got WHAT in your butt?	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
2534	Im' sorry, but the tests show you are definately baked.	1.2000	0.04839	80	65	14	1
2535	So when was the last time Andy stole your nose?	1.2000	0.04364	105	86	17	2
2536	We haven’t found the loose screw, but we’ve called proctologist to get to the bottom of this.	1.2000	0.04793	90	74	14	2
2537	I’m sorry, it just wasn’t in the box.	1.2000	0.05239	85	71	11	3
2538	Could you wear a better face for me?	1.2000	0.04674	85	69	15	1
2539	Does mashed potatoes run in your family?	1.2000	0.06625	70	61	4	5
2540	Lucky for you, all your features are easily removable and replaceable.	1.2000	0.05097	95	80	11	4
2541	I'm recommending 450 degrees for 60 minutes.	1.2000	0.05500	85	72	9	4
2542	You’re gonna need to spend less time on the couch and lay off the chips.	1.2000	0.06279	65	55	7	3
2543	You’ll need to leave that eye with me for about a week.	1.2000	0.04264	100	81	18	1
2544	Well, Mr P., in my opinion it’s all in your head.	1.2000	0.05737	80	68	8	4
2545	It's more of a stabbing pain...	1.2000	0.05500	85	72	9	4
2546	Lay off the fried foods.	1.2000	0.05500	85	72	9	4
2547	I’m sorry sir but we also require a first name ?	1.2000	0.06651	65	56	5	4
2548	Good news! These are definitely your salad years.	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
2549	Th drug test results are clear. You're baked.	1.2000	0.05737	80	68	8	4
2550	Come back in a week. If the bumps turn green and leafy, we’ll have to remove them.	1.2000	0.04815	70	56	14	0
2551	I'm not sure you should be seeing a cardiologist	1.2000	0.04714	100	83	14	3
2552	I’ll call you Mr. if you insist, but I really need a first name to put down on the form.	1.2000	0.05047	90	75	12	3
2553	You have hypoactive testicles.	1.2000	0.06198	60	50	8	2
2554	Let's start out with the patellar reflex test, shall we?	1.1981	0.04724	106	89	13	4
2555	I’m recommending a second set of eyes.	1.1981	0.04530	106	88	15	3
2556	The problem is with your fallopian tuber.	1.1980	0.05269	101	87	8	6
2557	So how do you see your life in general?	1.1980	0.03985	101	81	20	0
2558	We’re going to put you on a diet of chives, sour cream and shredded Colby Jack.	1.1980	0.04226	101	82	18	1
2559	No, actually. You can't simply "take off" your cancerous growths.	1.1979	0.04593	96	79	15	2
2560	We're going have to put you on a low carb diet.	1.1979	0.04593	96	79	15	2
2561	This will be the easiest surgery yet to change the gender.	1.1979	0.05048	96	81	11	4
2562	I prescribe sour cream and chives…	1.1979	0.04826	96	80	13	3
2563	Your head is fine. It's your eyes I'm worried about.	1.1979	0.04593	96	79	15	2
2564	You need to have your appendage removed.	1.1978	0.05682	91	79	6	6
2565	No, I don't think that the hat makes you look ridiculous.	1.1978	0.05234	91	77	10	4
2566	Your test results show an excess of starch in your diet. Add more protein, vitamins and minerals.	1.1978	0.04745	91	75	14	2
2567	The good news is we got all the sprouts for now. The bad news is they'll be back.	1.1978	0.04745	91	75	14	2
2568	No walls for thirty days.	1.1978	0.04996	91	76	12	3
2569	Your carbohydrate levels are as expected.	1.1978	0.04745	91	75	14	2
2570	Your sugar level is too high. Eating a lot of carbs?	1.1978	0.04745	91	75	14	2
2571	So you’re telling me you want an arm transplant, foot transplant, ear transplant, eye transplant, nose transplant, and a mouth transplant?	1.1978	0.04996	91	76	12	3
2572	I accept that you're the focus of a game. It's the objective that I'm struggling with.	1.1978	0.04996	91	76	12	3
2573	With the recent advances in 3D printing, medication isn’t the only option you have for a more fulfilling sex life.	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2574	I'm sorry - did you say you feel detached, or detachable?	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2575	You need to be prepared.	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2576	Yes, in men your age, it can often swell, often to three times the size of a walnut. But in your case, I definitely recommend we have a few things tested.	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2577	I'm sorry sir, we can't x-ray your broken foot. The radiation will cook you.	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2578	The good news is you won’t be needing the vasectomy.	1.1977	0.05687	86	74	7	5
2579	I don’t think your all-starch diet is helping.	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2580	Mr. Potato, having no legs or neck puts you at a disadvantage crossing streets.	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2581	It's understandable that you feel congested. You're a potato head!	1.1977	0.04912	86	71	13	2
2582	Well...it seems that things have come to a head.	1.1977	0.04912	86	71	13	2
2583	If you just get off the couch I wouldn’t have to prescribe Ozempic	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2584	Your arm replacement went smoothly	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
2585	I want to remove your nose and put on a smaller one.	1.1977	0.04912	86	71	13	2
2586	Please turn your head and cough	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2587	I need to run a few more tests, but it appears you have a potato stuck up your ass.	1.1977	0.05441	86	73	9	4
2588	You say Po-TAY-to. I say it's terminal.	1.1975	0.05937	81	70	6	5
2589	Unfortunately, we don't cover detaching body part syndrome, but we can refer you to Home Depot for some superglue	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
2590	So you decline to state your sex?	1.1975	0.05671	81	69	8	4
2591	Well Mr. Head it’s time for me to examine your storage container again…	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
2592	So just how long have you been feeling empty inside?	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
2593	You'd feel more comfortable being examined by another potato?	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
2594	Good news, you will never need a screening colonoscopy.	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
2595	It says here your biggest fears are ketchup and ranch dip.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
2596	Yeah, it might be easier if you just take it off and show me.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
2597	Please remove your eyes, ears, feet, and arms, and put on the robe open to the back.	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
2598	We can’t trace your family tree.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
2599	Your eyes are ?, you’re too big to bake , your major risk is frying	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
2600	You may suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune but you're basically healthy.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
2601	You really need to cut out the carbs	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
2602	Are you stoned? You look pretty baked.	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
2603	I'm going to recommend that you keep your eyes, ears, nose and so on in their proper slots for thirty days and then come back in for a follow-up.	1.1974	0.05626	76	64	9	3
2604	Are you happy with your plastic surgery?	1.1974	0.04596	76	61	15	0
2605	Are thoughts about blight interfering with your work or relationships?	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
2606	Well, I see all your parts are in the right place.	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
2607	Be sure to avoid direct sunlight as you are already half baked.	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
2608	Is Mrs. Potato Head aware you have other personalities that you keep inside of you?	1.1974	0.05626	76	64	9	3
2609	So how long have you not been “peeling” well?	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
2610	Don’t worry. It’s all in your head.	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
2611	You don't look like you're peeling well	1.1974	0.05929	76	65	7	4
2612	The good news is that the transplant procedure is very simple. The bad news is that the parts have been on backorder for 9 months already.	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
2613	Your x-ray reveals a small chip on your shoulder.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
2614	We need to cut down the starch in your diet.	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
2615	I’m sorry to inform you sir, but you are suffering from obsolete toy syndrome.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
2616	You have a little too much starch in your body. Nice stache though.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
2617	I’m afraid, Mr. Potato, that skin’s going to peel.	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
2618	I think your nose reduction procedure will be straightforward.	1.1972	0.04755	71	57	14	0
2619	I’m not a proctologist, but if you turn over I can retrieve your hidden body parts for you.”	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
2620	It says here that your symptoms of anxiety intensify in November.	1.1972	0.04755	71	57	14	0
2621	'Well Mr Dumpty stay out of hot water and please don't sit on any walls!"	1.1972	0.06537	71	62	4	5
2622	Lotta potatoes your age have trouble sprouting	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
2623	The Organ Donor Program doesn’t get a lot of requests for ears or mustaches.	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
2624	Says here you're only insured for ear and nose work.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
2625	Please turn your head and…oh, never mind.	1.1970	0.05385	66	54	11	1
2626	Take some sour cream, chives and bacon bits and call me in the morning.	1.1970	0.05802	66	55	9	2
2627	So, how do you let off a little steam?	1.1964	0.03979	112	91	20	1
2628	Let's get to the root of your problem	1.1961	0.05031	102	87	10	5
2629	How did you get here?	1.1961	0.04629	102	85	14	3
2630	I’m going to have to refer you to a therapist, it’s in the head.	1.1961	0.04835	102	86	12	4
2631	Your labs came back. I'm afraid your sour cream and chive levels are through the roof.	1.1959	0.04780	97	81	13	3
2632	I'm afraid it's tuber-culous	1.1959	0.04308	97	79	17	1
2633	Any family history of eye problems?	1.1959	0.04780	97	81	13	3
2634	I'm sorry, it's terminal.	1.1959	0.05000	97	82	11	4
2635	According to this you have eyes in the back of your head.	1.1959	0.04550	97	80	15	2
2636	It's just your age. From now on, I don't want you doing anything spud-taneously	1.1957	0.05407	92	79	8	5
2637	You know it's just an expression, right? We don't literally do that.	1.1957	0.04698	92	76	14	2
2638	Skin growths are a normal part of growing older.	1.1957	0.04946	92	77	12	3
2639	We’re well beyond just knee and hip replacement nowadays.	1.1957	0.05182	92	78	10	4
2640	Only two eyes cause your tunnel vision!	1.1957	0.04946	92	77	12	3
2641	Yes, it may cost you an arm and a leg, but you really need the surgery.	1.1957	0.05182	92	78	10	4
2642	Tell me about your carb intake	1.1957	0.05182	92	78	10	4
2643	You don't need glasses, you need knees	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
2644	For a 71-year-old, you're in great shape.	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
2645	Yes, Mr.Potato Head, as I've told you countless times before," you are gluten free.	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
2646	We will have to cut you open, but that’ll allow the recipe to work.	1.1954	0.04276	87	70	17	0
2647	A rhinoplasty would be quick, but I think it'd still leave you feeling hollow.	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
2648	Your inseam measurement has me concerned about your growth projections.	1.1954	0.05383	87	74	9	4
2649	Without proper diet and exercise you're likely to end up all crinkeled	1.1954	0.04578	87	71	15	1
2650	The test confirms that you have, in fact, gone pear-shaped.	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
2651	Hmmm... could be the starch	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
2652	I'm happy to hear that you're feeling butter.	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
2653	How's your balance these days?	1.1954	0.04578	87	71	15	1
2654	Mr. Potato Head, our genetic tests indicate you are actually a pear.	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
2655	Too many carbs, you see.	1.1954	0.04578	87	71	15	1
2656	You need to cut back on the carbs, Mr. Head.	1.1954	0.05383	87	74	9	4
2657	I frankly think all your professed medical issues are really just in your head.	1.1954	0.05626	87	75	7	5
2658	Well yes, I'm a urologist, but...	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
2659	I'll need to remove an ear.	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
2660	Sorry, ear-and-nose transposition surgery isn't covered by your insurance.	1.1951	0.05331	82	69	10	3
2661	It says that after a night with an Easy Bake you felt a burning sensation...	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
2662	Changing your body to one you identify with should be this simple for everyone.	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
2663	So, you want to be affirmed as Mrs. Potato head?	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
2664	The kid keeps telling me I need glasses.	1.1951	0.05331	82	69	10	3
2665	Now, how long have you been feeling these stabbing pains?	1.1951	0.04733	82	67	14	1
2666	Now, now Mr. Head, no need for you to be coming to pieces	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
2667	I'm sorry we won't be able to lengthen your legs, but we can transplant an ear to an eye socket if you like?	1.1951	0.04403	82	66	16	0
2668	There's a WHAT up your ass?	1.1951	0.05331	82	69	10	3
2669	Approximately how often are you 'baked', Mr. Spud?	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
2670	Actually the procedure will only take a few seconds.	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
2671	You have to avoid all starches, including Mrs.Potatohead.	1.1951	0.05331	82	69	10	3
2672	Preferred pronoun?	1.1951	0.05607	82	70	8	4
2673	The operation was successful, your facial features have been restored, and we used Krazy Glue to protect you from sadistic 3-year olds.	1.1948	0.05558	77	65	9	3
2674	It seems the X-rays revealed two spare mouths and an old Mardi Gras necklace.	1.1948	0.05558	77	65	9	3
2675	When did you first have the feeling that your head was WAY TOO BIG for the rest of your body?	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
2676	You need more exercise.	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
2677	Hmm...in your case it might all be brown fat	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
2678	And how long have you been a giant potato?	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
2679	Your health looks OK, but I'm afraid the knee replacement is out.	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
2680	So you're saying you haven't gained weight? It's just the shoes and the hat? And the arms and the nose and the mouth and the mustache and the ears and the eyes and the eyebrows?	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
2681	You say your wife frittered away with a fry cook?	1.1948	0.05558	77	65	9	3
2682	I'm sorry to report that your body is rejecting your new hat"	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
2683	On average, how many days a week have you been getting baked?	1.1948	0.04543	77	62	15	0
2684	I'll be honest, I'm worried about the weight Steve...you need to find your inner French fry.	1.1948	0.05558	77	65	9	3
2685	BIG BMI and Small brain !	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
2686	You've got to move around more, start being a hot potato instead of a couch potato.	1.1948	0.05558	77	65	9	3
2687	I don’t think the peeler is going to work this time, Mr. Potato Head.	1.1944	0.05467	72	60	10	2
2688	Of course you’re constipated. Too much starch.	1.1944	0.04697	72	58	14	0
2689	I've got a box of extra pieces lying around somewhere. You're welcome to take a look.	1.1944	0.05814	72	61	8	3
2690	My opinion is that the problem is all in your head.	1.1944	0.05096	72	59	12	1
2691	Well sure, crispy potato skins are popular, but if it’s really bothering you I’ll prescribe some sour cream.	1.1944	0.05096	72	59	12	1
2692	Maybe you should try the Atkins Diet.	1.1944	0.04697	72	58	14	0
2693	Seriously. Cut back on the carbs.	1.1944	0.05467	72	60	10	2
2694	Now, how often are you exercising?	1.1944	0.05096	72	59	12	1
2695	The technical term is ‘gender dysphoria,’ Mrs. Potato Head.	1.1944	0.05096	72	59	12	1
2696	So, Mr Potato your not Peeling well ?	1.1944	0.05814	72	61	8	3
2697	You're nearsighted. Do you have glasses?	1.1944	0.05814	72	61	8	3
2698	So, you're saying that you just don't feel like you snap together the way you used to?	1.1940	0.05722	67	56	9	2
2699	You look put together, though.	1.1940	0.06104	67	57	7	3
2700	So, you say you've been feeling empty?	1.1940	0.05722	67	56	9	2
2701	If you cut back on butter and salt, I think we can put a smile on your face at the next appointment.	1.1940	0.04868	67	54	13	0
2702	I'm afraid it's early-onset spores.	1.1939	0.04953	98	83	11	4
2703	The good news is we can replace that lost ear. The bad news is about that other part -- they quit making them when Barbie came out.	1.1939	0.04953	98	83	11	4
2704	Turns out the IBS is all in your head.	1.1939	0.04953	98	83	11	4
2705	Did you say you felt like you're falling into pieces?	1.1939	0.04735	98	82	13	3
2706	It's not good, sir ... you have potato bugs.	1.1935	0.04897	93	78	12	3
2707	Let's cut the carbs for awhile and get those numbers down, shall we.	1.1935	0.04652	93	77	14	2
2708	YOU CAN FILL THIS PRESCRIPTION FOR ALL NEW BODY PARTS AT ANY LOCAL TOY STORE	1.1935	0.05353	93	80	8	5
2709	What seems to be the problem, Mr. Patata?	1.1935	0.05130	93	79	10	4
2710	Oh sorry Mr Potato-Head, I thought you were Humpty Dumpty	1.1935	0.05130	93	79	10	4
2711	Take two pats of butter and let's see how you taste tomorrow.	1.1935	0.04652	93	77	14	2
2712	I’m sorry but your problems can’t be due to that - you already are gluten free.	1.1935	0.05130	93	79	10	4
2713	You feel depressed because no one carries pants in your size?	1.1932	0.05075	88	74	11	3
2714	You need to cut down on the carbs.	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
2715	It says you experiencing the loss of joy in daily life. That you feel hollow inside.	1.1932	0.05326	88	75	9	4
2716	No, I'm sorry. It's leprosy.	1.1932	0.05075	88	74	11	3
2717	It looks like you have been taken apart by children...	1.1932	0.04233	88	71	17	0
2718	I suggest another pair of eyes.	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
2719	Not a problem at all Mr. Potatoe Head. It will only take a minute to fix your ears and nose.	1.1932	0.05326	88	75	9	4
2720	Based on your lab results, I'd definitely cut back on the starches.	1.1932	0.05075	88	74	11	3
2721	It’s all in your head, I’m afraid.	1.1932	0.04233	88	71	17	0
2722	The good news is, you don't need knee or hip surgery	1.1932	0.05075	88	74	11	3
2723	Mr Tater, Our diagnosis is you are going to end up as french fries.	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
2724	It's complicated. You're a product of your genetic inheritance, personal history and current environment.	1.1932	0.04531	88	72	15	1
2725	Well, the good news is you have a brain-- now, if you only had a body!	1.1932	0.05075	88	74	11	3
2726	I’m also thankful for Friday, but if you keep getting baked and loaded you won’t make it to next Saturday.	1.1928	0.05544	83	71	8	4
2727	So why do you refuse to return to France ?	1.1928	0.05272	83	70	10	3
2728	It's not your carb intake. In fact, the X-ray shows that you're hollowed out plastic.	1.1928	0.04356	83	67	16	0
2729	I'm afraid that Cialis won't do anything for you.	1.1928	0.05272	83	70	10	3
2730	Don't take it personally, lots of dieters are cutting back on Carbohydrates.....	1.1928	0.04985	83	69	12	2
2731	Stay out of the light.	1.1928	0.04985	83	69	12	2
2732	Please take everything off but you can leave your arms in if you’d like.	1.1928	0.04985	83	69	12	2
2733	Can't do anything about the legs and arms, but we've got something for the mustache.	1.1928	0.05272	83	70	10	3
2734	I don't think an x-ray is going to tell us anything.	1.1928	0.04681	83	68	14	1
2735	Sir, you're severely maltorsoed	1.1928	0.04681	83	68	14	1
2736	You might want to consider cutting down on starch.	1.1928	0.04356	83	67	16	0
2737	The good news is that you were able to get on the examination table by yourself.	1.1928	0.04985	83	69	12	2
2738	We have determined, again, that it's all in your head	1.1923	0.04491	78	63	15	0
2739	German Angst: “Doktor, I am turning into a kartoffel!”	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
2740	I recommend you go easy on carbohydrates for a while!	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
2741	Boy, these scans are gonna cost you, it's a good thing you're loaded.	1.1923	0.05787	78	67	7	4
2742	I can remove the sprouts on your back but you will need a ride home. Will Mrs Potato-head be picking you up?” John Schantz, Nazareth, P	1.1923	0.05492	78	66	9	3
2743	A McDonald's Happy Meal is one way to go.	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
2744	I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something does seem different about you.	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
2745	You're not going to want to hear this, but the mustache has to go. It's scaring kids.	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
2746	I'm afraid all that starch is going to your head.	1.1923	0.06068	78	68	5	5
2747	If you flip the mustache over so the ends point up that should take care of the problem.	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
2748	I don't know how they do it in the Yukon but here we have you bend over and cough.	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
2749	Tell me more about this identity crisis.	1.1919	0.04229	99	81	17	1
2750	The good news is that you have a good head on your shoulders.	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
2751	So you're here for your annual fall check-up?	1.1918	0.06062	73	63	6	4
2752	You're on the transplant list for what?	1.1918	0.05740	73	62	8	3
2753	How are those feet doing?	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
2754	I'm sorry but it looks like the tuber has spread.	1.1918	0.05740	73	62	8	3
2755	Yes, your legs are very short. We can fix that.	1.1918	0.05740	73	62	8	3
2756	I did mention adopting a vegan diet carried certain risks but I think you're going to be Ore-Ida!	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
2757	The good news is you qualify for the transplant, the bad news is, it comes with googly eyes, and a silly hat	1.1918	0.05740	73	62	8	3
2758	Perhaps if you were nicer to Mrs. Potato Head,you could have a smile on your face.	1.1918	0.05398	73	61	10	2
2759	Frankly, I'm astounded you've lived this long and managed to keep all your parts in all the right places.	1.1918	0.05398	73	61	10	2
2760	It says on your chart that you're worried about a third eye?	1.1918	0.05740	73	62	8	3
2761	I have some bad news... your nose seems to have loosened since your last visit.	1.1915	0.04607	94	78	14	2
2762	I’m sorry but the tests have confirmed it, you have blight.	1.1915	0.04607	94	78	14	2
2763	As I see it, your choices are numerous, but I don't think you will make as a tot!	1.1915	0.05079	94	80	10	4
2764	I need you to cut back on starch.	1.1912	0.05241	68	56	11	1
2765	You need to peel off some weight buddy	1.1912	0.05241	68	56	11	1
2766	I'm so sorry sir, but we can't morally allow you to have any more work done on your face.	1.1912	0.06021	68	58	7	3
2767	I see all your body parts are attached. I’m going to encourage you again to be more active.	1.1912	0.05241	68	56	11	1
2768	No. Your ears, nose, eyes, and arms most certainly should not "just pop out."	1.1912	0.06021	68	58	7	3
2769	Please described your symptoms: baked, whipped or fried.	1.1912	0.05241	68	56	11	1
2770	I need your signature to allow me to replace your right ear.	1.1912	0.05644	68	57	9	2
2771	You’ll need several amputations. Fortunately, we have the parts!	1.1912	0.05644	68	57	9	2
2772	How was your trip to Peru? Did you see many relatives?	1.1912	0.05241	68	56	11	1
2773	Sadly your condition will continue to deteriorate until we halt global warming.	1.1912	0.05241	68	56	11	1
2774	You have an allergy to salt, pepper, sour cream, chives, and butter?	1.1910	0.04761	89	74	13	2
2775	Loooks like a case of potato breath	1.1910	0.04761	89	74	13	2
2776	Your Groucho Marx Halloween costume is no small potatoes.	1.1910	0.05022	89	75	11	3
2777	All in all, you're in good shape for a potato your age .	1.1910	0.04761	89	74	13	2
2778	Don't cut down on carbs.	1.1910	0.04761	89	74	13	2
2779	You should really see an optometrist if your eyes are bothering you	1.1910	0.05022	89	75	11	3
2780	The solution is child's play.	1.1910	0.04485	89	73	15	1
2781	I’m afraid your insurance does not cover ‘longer pegs for the legs’ .	1.1910	0.04761	89	74	13	2
2782	I was told once that my head was shaped like a potato - I wouldn't be concerned about it."	1.1910	0.04485	89	73	15	1
2783	Avoid anything that could trigger a headache.	1.1910	0.05022	89	75	11	3
2784	I recommend bringing your “smile” piece to the next appointment.	1.1910	0.04761	89	74	13	2
2785	Give it to me straight doc, I can handle it.......The results are in Mr.Potatohead you have an acute case of Tuberlosis	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
2786	I'm afraid you've got potato head.	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
2787	Mr. Potato Head, I presume...	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
2788	I have bad news. You've grown 3 additional eyes in the back of your head.	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
2789	You're getting too old for games.	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
2790	I recommend increasing your sodium and vinegar intake, then come back to see me in a few weeks	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
2791	Doc, I’m falling apart here!!	1.1905	0.05476	63	52	10	1
2792	You may want to rethink friar life	1.1905	0.05214	84	71	10	3
2793	I’m afraid it’s serious, Mr. Potato Head.	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
2794	know any synonyms for 'kafkaesque'?	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
2795	Next, I need you to open up your back flap.	1.1905	0.05738	84	73	6	5
2796	I’m referring you to McDonalds for a biopsy.	1.1905	0.05214	84	71	10	3
2797	They’re not supposed to be removable. You have leprosy.	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
2798	I’m a bit concerned by your Potassium levels.	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
2799	I see you found your left foot.	1.1900	0.04861	100	85	11	4
2800	I'm afraid your harvest insurance won't cover a prosthetic arm	1.1900	0.04426	100	83	15	2
2801	Mr. Taterhead, I'm going to prescribe a bigger couch.	1.1900	0.04426	100	83	15	2
2802	I'm putting you on a rice diet.	1.1900	0.04648	100	84	13	3
2803	I'm so sorry your wife got mashed. Prozac should help you get through this.	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
2804	My bad! I meant to say 'tuber,' NOT 'tumor.'	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
2805	I must say Mr. Head, you're one helluva spud!	1.1899	0.05428	79	67	9	3
2806	The attachment you want is only available in Europe right now, but I see no reason why you couldn't get one.	1.1899	0.05428	79	67	9	3
2807	I suggest fewer carbohydrates and more meat	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
2808	And when did your friends start calling you "Mr. Potato Head"?	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
2809	I see you have not been cutting back on your carbs.	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
2810	The procedure is so simple a two-year-old can do it. And you're in luck. Timmy can fit you in right after his nap.	1.1899	0.05719	79	68	7	4
2811	‘E.D. is quite common among toys that have no penis.’	1.1899	0.05120	79	66	11	2
2812	Frankly Sir,at your age,I would expect you to have more eyes.	1.1899	0.05120	79	66	11	2
2813	All your parts are fine. We'll need to replace your body.	1.1899	0.05428	79	67	9	3
2814	Your symptoms suggest an acute onset of Russetitis.	1.1899	0.04441	79	64	15	0
2815	\|"The best I can do is change your diagnosis to "sofa vegetable".	1.1899	0.05120	79	66	11	2
2816	So...I'm guessing mashed potatoes aren't your thing?	1.1899	0.05120	79	66	11	2
2817	What are you going for? 'Dapper' or 'jaunty'?	1.1895	0.04310	95	78	16	1
2818	Well, Mr. Potato, I see here that you've misplaced your body.	1.1895	0.04563	95	79	14	2
2819	Insur	1.1895	0.05030	95	81	10	4
2820	So, how's the Mrs.?	1.1892	0.04971	74	61	12	1
2821	Have you tried a different nose?	1.1892	0.05331	74	62	10	2
2822	I'm sorry, but if you really want to get ahead on your weight-loss program, you'll have to cut down on the starch.	1.1892	0.05331	74	62	10	2
2823	Under symptoms, what did you mean by 'feeling picked apart?'	1.1892	0.05667	74	63	8	3
2824	It says here you're concerned about rising temperatures.	1.1892	0.04971	74	61	12	1
2825	I think we've figured out why your skin is peeling.	1.1892	0.05331	74	62	10	2
2826	After looking over your test results, I'd say your couch potato days are over.	1.1892	0.05331	74	62	10	2
2827	You're lucky it's just your head...	1.1892	0.04971	74	61	12	1
2828	While we recommend a colonoscopy after age 50, there may be a problem in your case.	1.1892	0.04971	74	61	12	1
2829	Well hello there Mr. Potato Head, I am Dr. Peeler... Do you prefer Russet or Russ?	1.1892	0.05667	74	63	8	3
2830	Have you ever heard the saying, "You are what you eat." I think we can see the problem here.	1.1892	0.05667	74	63	8	3
2831	You are well put together!	1.1892	0.04584	74	60	14	0
2832	Your overall health has really improved since you quit smoking."	1.1892	0.05331	74	62	10	2
2833	Rhinoplasty? I don't want to be sued by Hasbro...	1.1889	0.05216	90	77	9	4
2834	Why did the potato get food poisoning? Sour cream. Why did the potato go to rehab? He was always baked.	1.1889	0.04970	90	76	11	3
2835	Sorry, slip of a tongue. I meant malignant tumor, not tuber.	1.1889	0.04970	90	76	11	3
2836	Just as I feared. They took your other nose.	1.1889	0.04713	90	75	13	2
2837	Most potatoes have eyes, but those other parts are somewhat of a concern.	1.1889	0.04713	90	75	13	2
2838	I think your diet has been too starchy, its making you gain weight in your middle, bad for the heart	1.1889	0.04970	90	76	11	3
2839	Well, I’ve never said THIS before … take off your clothes so I can see your eyes.	1.1889	0.04713	90	75	13	2
2840	So you’re the one who ends his name with an ‘e’.	1.1889	0.05450	90	78	7	5
2841	Any history of Blight, Mr. Head?	1.1889	0.04970	90	76	11	3
2842	Yes Pete, all your parts are in order. However, you show signs of early potato blight.	1.1889	0.04440	90	74	15	1
2843	Even though you change personalities your are still a potato.	1.1889	0.04713	90	75	13	2
2844	So it’s like when you replace your ear, but instead it’s your hip.	1.1889	0.04713	90	75	13	2
2845	The biopsy report came back. There's no cancer, but you're a potato.	1.1887	0.04665	106	90	12	4
2846	The swelling is quite severe. I’m ordering rounds of butter and sour cream until it goes down.	1.1884	0.05939	69	59	7	3
2847	Frankly, I feel that you need to get off the couch and cut out the starches.	1.1884	0.06288	69	60	5	4
2848	Is there any way that you could get me autographs for my kids from Woody and Buzz Lightyear?	1.1884	0.05569	69	58	9	2
2849	Mr. Head, I can understand you feel uncomfortable, unwanted and maybe even threatened when you hear things like mashed, smashed and roasted but these are the people who love you…trust me!	1.1884	0.05939	69	59	7	3
2850	I am sending you to a headshrinker	1.1884	0.05569	69	58	9	2
2851	And what brings you in today, Mister, uh…let’s see here…	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
2852	What baffles me is how you got up there with no legs.	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
2853	I have this recurring nightmare that I'm being cut up into french fries.	1.1882	0.05422	85	73	8	4
2854	How long have you been unable to lie down?	1.1882	0.05422	85	73	8	4
2855	Well, Humpty- I wouldn't go sitting on a wall if I were you.	1.1882	0.05157	85	72	10	3
2856	So it says you were last played with two years ago?	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
2857	The trouble is all in your head.	1.1882	0.05157	85	72	10	3
2858	If you want to look like a hot potato, you have to be less of a couch potato.	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
2859	If you’ll continue to stay away from the butter and sour cream your cholesterol levels are surprisingly good.	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
2860	We’ll have you fixed up in no time. I’m going to prescribe a topical application of sour cream and chives.	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
2861	Well I can’t say this to list patients, but in your case, yes, the procedure is 100% reversible.	1.1882	0.05157	85	72	10	3
2862	As a urologist,frankly,there is nothing I can do for you	1.1882	0.05422	85	73	8	4
2863	The medical term is multiple personality disorder.	1.1875	0.06635	64	56	4	4
2864	I recommend that you be less of a couch potato.	1.1875	0.05364	80	68	9	3
2865	And how long do these appendage phantom pains usually last?	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
2866	I wouldn't say your resentment is Paranoid, but I would say it's a bit unrealistic .. .	1.1875	0.05364	80	68	9	3
2867	I'm a doctor, not a fashion consultant.	1.1875	0.05840	64	54	8	2
2868	You can get a second opinion but I'd say you're pretty well put together.	1.1875	0.05398	64	53	10	1
2869	No, the fact that you have no genitalia will not reduce the potato population.	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
2870	That was just about the easiest colonoscopy I've ever performed.	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
2871	Try cutting down on starch.	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
2872	Well Mr. Murphy, your charts are showing some starch differences from last year's check-up."	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
2873	It seems you've had an important organ removed.	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
2874	You didn't specify a gender.	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
2875	Believe me, you are not a fruit.	1.1875	0.04738	80	66	13	1
2876	I thought we discussed a low carb diet.	1.1875	0.04738	80	66	13	1
2877	Mr. Russet, it says here you’re originally from Idaho.	1.1875	0.05364	80	68	9	3
2878	I'm going to send you to a therapist who specializes in buried feelings.	1.1875	0.05652	80	69	7	4
2879	First thing to go is the eyes."	1.1875	0.05364	80	68	9	3
2880	I’m afraid you’ve got a pretty serious case of potato blight. And gonorrhea.	1.1875	0.05364	80	68	9	3
2881	I wish I could help you Mr. Johnson, but apparently I'm tripping my balls off at the moment.	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
2882	I think running the NY Marathon was probably not your best decision.	1.1875	0.04519	96	80	14	2
2883	The test results are conclusive: you need to cut back on the starch	1.1868	0.04396	91	75	15	1
2884	You’ve got to cut out all the starch.	1.1868	0.05162	91	78	9	4
2885	Plastic surgery is an option Mr. Head; or, we could just move your parts around.	1.1868	0.05162	91	78	9	4
2886	I see here there is a family history of upside down nose.	1.1868	0.04920	91	77	11	3
2887	I just feel so lumpy	1.1868	0.04396	91	75	15	1
2888	I can turn you upside down, rearrange your face and limbs, and, presto, you're an athlete.	1.1868	0.05162	91	78	9	4
2889	You need a hand getting down?	1.1867	0.05265	75	63	10	2
2890	It's not tuberculosis; your hat has a spike in it?	1.1867	0.05265	75	63	10	2
2891	Due to trade sanctions we don't know how long it will take to get your new right arm from the Chinese manufacturer.	1.1867	0.04911	75	62	12	1
2892	Can you tell me a little more about your knee pain?	1.1867	0.04911	75	62	12	1
2893	What do you mean by ‘my glasses are inside’?	1.1867	0.05597	75	64	8	3
2894	Cut down on starches.	1.1867	0.05597	75	64	8	3
2895	Am I pronouncing your name correctly?	1.1867	0.05597	75	64	8	3
2896	Don’t look so glum. Your labs indicate you’re in great shape	1.1867	0.05265	75	63	10	2
2897	I’m afraid we have to amputate	1.1867	0.04530	75	61	14	0
2898	You're a lot healthier now that you stopped smoking.	1.1867	0.05265	75	63	10	2
2899	Alright then, just Potato Head.	1.1864	0.06151	59	50	7	2
2900	For a 40 year old russet burbank with no blight, fungus or rot I'd say you're doing pretty well!	1.1864	0.05657	59	49	9	1
2901	Yes, it is true about men with small hands...	1.1864	0.06151	59	50	7	2
2902	We've got to get less starch in your diet.	1.1863	0.04117	102	84	17	1
2903	I afriad you are suffering from TUBERoculosis. I am putting you on a low starch diet.	1.1860	0.05363	86	74	8	4
2904	I need to check your eyes. All 500 of them.	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
2905	Putting a face on it doesn't change the diagnosis that you're gotta get fried.	1.1860	0.05101	86	73	10	3
2906	Do you ever feel mashed under pressure?	1.1860	0.04826	86	72	12	2
2907	Unfortunately it looks like your body is accepting the organs.	1.1860	0.05363	86	74	8	4
2908	The tests say it's definitely not you, it's Mrs. Potato Head.	1.1860	0.05363	86	74	8	4
2909	Listen, I do take your premature balding seriously.	1.1860	0.04826	86	72	12	2
2910	Most days, I just feel very empty inside.	1.1860	0.05612	86	75	6	5
2911	To be frank, I'd say you are falling apart.	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
2912	We need to increase your butter dosage."	1.1860	0.05101	86	73	10	3
2913	I guess when they flipped your coin it came up Heads!	1.1860	0.04826	86	72	12	2
2914	Appears you are sprouting shoes	1.1860	0.04826	86	72	12	2
2915	Have you felt like your smile was just 'pasted on' lately?	1.1857	0.05860	70	60	7	3
2916	You need to cut out white rice, bread, pasta and...this is awkward.	1.1857	0.05105	70	58	11	1
2917	I'm recommending you stay far away from the butter and sour creme!	1.1857	0.05860	70	60	7	3
2918	Let’s talk about the penis.	1.1857	0.05495	70	59	9	2
2919	Congratulations! You are pregnant!	1.1857	0.05105	70	58	11	1
2920	You're probably constipated!	1.1857	0.05105	70	58	11	1
2921	Are you still having problems with your cousin Humpty?	1.1857	0.05860	70	60	7	3
2922	You're just half baked.	1.1857	0.05860	70	60	7	3
2923	You're not really a candidate for knee replacement	1.1857	0.05495	70	59	9	2
2924	Sorry Mister. Still just a spud.	1.1857	0.05495	70	59	9	2
2925	Umm, I don't think you need Viagra, I think you need a new accessory.	1.1857	0.05495	70	59	9	2
2926	Thank you for leaving your couch to come here!	1.1856	0.04230	97	80	16	1
2927	Sadly, you blood sugar is not high enough for insurance to cover Ozempic	1.1852	0.05303	81	69	9	3
2928	What do you mean when you say you have extra noses, eyes and ears at home at home?	1.1852	0.05303	81	69	9	3
2929	Being baked all the time isn’t a good way to go through life.	1.1852	0.05856	81	71	5	5
2930	Normally, I would say cut out carbs, but in your case, there would be nothing left of you.	1.1852	0.03979	108	89	18	1
2931	I want you to get off the couch for a while.	1.1852	0.04685	81	67	13	1
2932	Swollen ankles are a sign of edema. I am not sure what missing ankles are a sign of.	1.1852	0.05003	81	68	11	2
2933	Your chart here says "expect shoes" during a colonoscopy?	1.1852	0.05586	81	70	7	4
2934	Where exactly in the potato are you experiencing the pain?	1.1852	0.05586	81	70	7	4
2935	Your son Chip has volunteered to donate an eye.	1.1852	0.05003	81	68	11	2
2936	I’m afraid that part will have to be special ordered.	1.1852	0.04343	81	66	15	0
2937	We might need to do a nose transplant, but don't worry, it will be a snap.	1.1852	0.05303	81	69	9	3
2938	Have you tried plucking it off and sticking on a new one?	1.1849	0.04128	119	100	16	3
2939	Your weight is up again! You need to stop being such a couch potato	1.1848	0.04870	92	78	11	3
2940	Well, your check up is excellent for your trip to France. I would suggest that you steer clear of all chefs, though.	1.1848	0.05110	92	79	9	4
2941	Well, you’re lucky! You’re one of the few that was put together by an unimaginative child…	1.1848	0.04352	92	76	15	1
2942	I’m sorry to tell you its pancreatitis au gratin	1.1848	0.04870	92	78	11	3
2943	Don’t let these results take the starch out of you.	1.1848	0.04619	92	77	13	2
2944	I'm sorry, unlike the rest of you, this tumor is not removable.	1.1846	0.04850	65	53	12	0
2945	Pithy witticism.	1.1846	0.05322	65	54	10	1
2946	I wish I had better news, but your test results are pretty au gratin.	1.1846	0.05322	65	54	10	1
2947	So, you're having nightmares about eating French Fries?	1.1846	0.05756	65	55	8	2
2948	X-rays confirm a multicolored mass of play doh impacted inside your back hatch. We'll have to use the pumper station to remove it.	1.1846	0.05322	65	54	10	1
2949	If it will help, I can replace your moustache, Mr. Potato Head	1.1842	0.05528	76	65	8	3
2950	It's good that you gave up the pipe George, but all the jabs are taking a huge toll on you.	1.1842	0.05528	76	65	8	3
2951	Sack? Coach? Old? Or just regular potatoe.	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
2952	You're the father, Mr. Potato Head. Shall I tell Ken or will you?	1.1842	0.06130	76	67	4	5
2953	First things first. Lose the couch !	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
2954	It's bad. We're going to have to replace everything.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
2955	My, how you've grown!	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
2956	I suggest you cut down on carbs	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
2957	Now, I must remind you to avoid falls or even with your mustaches we won't be able to put you back together again.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
2958	Once again, why do you think you have a knee injury?	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
2959	You really need to cut back on carbs.	1.1842	0.04476	76	62	14	0
2960	Your test results indicate that you need to cut down on empty carbs.	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
2961	What you need is an eye doctor.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
2962	No, I wouldn't say you'd frittered away your life quite yet.	1.1842	0.04476	76	62	14	0
2963	I'm sorry to inform you, your wife was right: you're a malignant tuber.	1.1842	0.05528	76	65	8	3
2964	It’s clear to me that it’s all in your head.	1.1842	0.05528	76	65	8	3
2965	So you keep hearing 'The Monster Mash' in your starch...	1.1839	0.05047	87	74	10	3
2966	....and you are requesting a diet to "pear" down?	1.1839	0.04486	87	72	14	1
2967	Doctor, help me, I’ve started to peel.	1.1839	0.05305	87	75	8	4
2968	I need to tell you that if you fall off the wall I will not be able to put you together again	1.1839	0.04486	87	72	14	1
2969	That's not how an appendectomy works, even for you."	1.1839	0.05305	87	75	8	4
2970	You mean you're more concerned about starch and carbohydrates than detachable limbs?	1.1839	0.05305	87	75	8	4
2971	I recommend you lower your starch intake.	1.1839	0.04486	87	72	14	1
2972	Yes, getting off the couch is a harder way to change your appearance, but you'll feel better in no time.	1.1839	0.05047	87	74	10	3
2973	Unfortunately, plastic surgery for patients with your profile tends to be fairly intrusive.”	1.1839	0.05047	87	74	10	3
2974	I'm afraid a urology referral won't help.	1.1839	0.05305	87	75	8	4
2975	Your chart looks fine Mr. Potatohead, now roll up your sleeves and I'll check your spud pressure.	1.1837	0.04435	98	82	14	2
2976	The bad news is, your health insurance is covered by Heinz.	1.1831	0.06121	71	62	5	4
2977	So your memory was scrambled after the fall. Are you sure you're not talking about someone else?	1.1831	0.05039	71	59	11	1
2978	The eyes I was expecting. But the mustache took me by surprise.	1.1831	0.04623	71	58	13	0
2979	Overall, you're in good shape. A weird shape, sure, but that's ok.	1.1831	0.05424	71	60	9	2
2980	The lab tests confirm it, you don’t need to wear pants.	1.1831	0.05424	71	60	9	2
2981	Now, Keto isn’t for everyone.	1.1831	0.05783	71	61	7	3
2982	Right, right - cancelling 'more fresh air and sunshine.'	1.1831	0.05039	71	59	11	1
2983	Rest and carbo-hydrate	1.1831	0.04623	71	58	13	0
2984	Well, Mr. Dumpety, you clearly have a phobia about walls. I would suggest you avoid the King's Men.	1.1831	0.05783	71	61	7	3
2985	What, sir, makes you think you need even more plastic surgery?	1.1831	0.05783	71	61	7	3
2986	You're remarkably healthy for a man with no neck or legs.	1.1829	0.04947	82	69	11	2
2987	Your irritable bowl syndrome is causing those tater tots	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
2988	Your plastic surgery is healing nicely... Oh, and by the way, you and Mrs. Russet are invited to our pot luck this weekend- Bring potato salad.	1.1829	0.05243	82	70	9	3
2989	I'm gonna prescribe a change of face.	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
2990	Turns out blight does exist in our modern culture, and yup, you’ve got it.	1.1829	0.04947	82	69	11	2
2991	Sorry to tell you this Mr. Potato but after looking at the x-rays it looks like you're fried.	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
2992	It sounds like you're being pulled in a lot of directions.	1.1829	0.04947	82	69	11	2
2993	You need to cut back on starches.	1.1828	0.04822	93	79	11	3
2994	Well I have some bad news. You’ve heard of mashing?	1.1828	0.05058	93	80	9	4
2995	Your game worked out well. But I also got the life-size version of Monopoly and the Department of Justice is suing me for monopolization and Passing Go!	1.1828	0.04573	93	78	13	2
2996	Let’s discuss your diet.	1.1828	0.04310	93	77	15	1
2997	You say you have a history of Tater Tots and Fries?	1.1828	0.04310	93	77	15	1
2998	And since how long has this dismorphic disorder been going on you would say?	1.1818	0.04440	88	73	14	1
2999	Seriously, a make-over for you is child's play.	1.1818	0.04725	88	74	12	2
3000	If I report you were wearing a hat in my office while I treated you for a headache, your insurance will not cover it.	1.1818	0.05139	77	65	10	2
3001	Yes,do recall delivering your children-- Spud,Tot,and Chip-- as I remember.	1.1818	0.04725	88	74	12	2
3002	‘“I’m prescribing a big aspirin because, after all, it’s a big headache.”	1.1818	0.04424	77	63	14	0
3003	Nine out of 10 botanists agree.	1.1818	0.05139	77	65	10	2
3004	The International Tubers Association says you need more eyes.	1.1818	0.04994	88	75	10	3
3005	It will be a simple procedure to replace your optical lenses.	1.1818	0.05249	88	76	8	4
3006	Any last words before we shred you besides to donate your features to Hasbro science?	1.1818	0.05249	66	55	10	1
3007	There's no easy way to say this. It's dry rot.	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
3008	Well, I have to say you really put yourself back together.	1.1818	0.04994	88	75	10	3
3009	I can't seem to find any evidence of a torn meniscus.	1.1818	0.05249	66	55	10	1
3010	I'm going to refer you to a specialist down in our cafeteria.	1.1818	0.05766	77	67	6	4
3011	You are going to need glasses.	1.1818	0.04725	88	74	12	2
3012	After awhile on Ozempic you going to look more like a french fry.	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
3013	Being Bottom heavy is not a good sign.	1.1818	0.06072	66	57	6	3
3014	Seems your head's too large for an MRI. Any relation to Mr Potatoe Head?	1.1818	0.05766	77	67	6	4
3015	I'm afraid that modern science can do nothing for you.	1.1818	0.05139	77	65	10	2
3016	I believe I can explain the erectile dysfunction	1.1818	0.06910	55	48	4	3
3017	You might want to ease up on the Botox.	1.1818	0.05139	77	65	10	2
3018	OK NOW TELL ME ABOUT YOUR HAT	1.1818	0.05139	77	65	10	2
3019	First, we'll run some tests so we can rule out blight.	1.1818	0.04994	88	75	10	3
3020	I'm your urologist, not your dentist. Yes, you should have brought 'that thing ' !	1.1818	0.05249	66	55	10	1
3021	To track your steps I'm going to have you wear this spudometer.	1.1818	0.05461	77	66	8	3
3022	Glad you’re better. That was the worst case of pink-eye I’ve ever seen.	1.1818	0.04424	77	63	14	0
3023	Okay, so no polyps, but we did find something else,,, actually a few other things.	1.1809	0.04528	94	79	13	2
3024	Your ethanol level is a bit too high for my liking.	1.1809	0.04774	94	80	11	3
3025	Your skin needs to peeled	1.1807	0.04892	83	70	11	2
3026	"Are you hear for a nose job or do you want to change your overall shape?"	1.1807	0.04582	83	69	13	1
3027	French fries are indeed a health issue.	1.1807	0.05184	83	71	9	3
3028	So after all the years of little Timmy swallowing a piece of you, you decided to turn the tables on him.	1.1807	0.05184	83	71	9	3
3029	Any reason to check your eyes?	1.1807	0.05460	83	72	7	4
3030	Your "eyes" are growing out of your ears.	1.1807	0.05460	83	72	7	4
3031	The scrip will say "Update with goatee" , but they'll know to just give you the chin whiskers. Plus Wayfarer style frames (no lenses), a fedora and ... voila! This season's Mr. Black Friday Doorbuster Toy!	1.1807	0.04582	83	69	13	1
3032	In your case, I really think you’ll go well with an all meat diet.	1.1807	0.05184	83	71	9	3
3033	Ah, I see your problem, your right ear has been stolen.	1.1807	0.04249	83	68	15	0
3034	It's not so simple as plugging in a new part.	1.1807	0.04582	83	69	13	1
3035	Lay off the Carbs	1.1807	0.04892	83	70	11	2
3036	Your collestral is off the charts.	1.1807	0.04892	83	70	11	2
3037	Good news Mr. Spuds, no problems at all below your chin, however I can recommend a doctor to have your head examined.	1.1807	0.05723	83	73	5	5
3038	I’m afraid you must be prepared for the wurst.	1.1807	0.05184	83	71	9	3
3039	Do you get this feeling only when you're fully-loaded?"	1.1807	0.05184	83	71	9	3
3040	I don’t know doc, I looked at the oven and broke out in chives.	1.1806	0.04975	72	60	11	1
3041	So, where is Mrs. vegetable?	1.1806	0.06041	72	63	5	4
3042	I see you've already had your appendix removed, and your eyes, nose, arms, and ears.	1.1806	0.05354	72	61	9	2
3043	You were falling apart and then what happened?	1.1806	0.05354	72	61	9	2
3044	and your sexual history?	1.1806	0.05354	72	61	9	2
3045	Well, the good news is you’ve tested negative for blight.	1.1806	0.05354	72	61	9	2
3046	We strongly advise that you not go to France.	1.1806	0.05708	72	62	7	3
3047	I think it would be straightforward to give you a smaller nose, Mr. Potato Head. You don't need my services as a plastic surgeon, simply go to Toys R Us. It will however still be $375 for this office visit, plus a $35 co-payment. toys R Us	1.1806	0.04975	72	60	11	1
3048	I have a headache.	1.1806	0.05354	72	61	9	2
3049	So, you feel like there's something wrong between your neck and your feet?	1.1806	0.04975	72	60	11	1
3050	To put it simply, it's all in your head.	1.1806	0.05354	72	61	9	2
3051	Please peel.	1.1806	0.06041	72	63	5	4
3052	With regard to the medical marijuana, would you describe the sensation as “baked” or “fried”?	1.1806	0.06041	72	63	5	4
3053	Could you repeat that? I must have potatoes growing in my ears.	1.1806	0.05354	72	61	9	2
3054	The good news is your starch content is excellent. The bad news is your sperm count is zero.	1.1806	0.05708	72	62	7	3
3055	You're healthy, Mr. Head, but you have the rehab folks stumped.	1.1800	0.04353	100	84	14	2
3056	Excellent, I see you found that second ear that had been missing for 10 years.	1.1798	0.04394	89	74	14	1
3057	' well, you're very flexible...'	1.1798	0.04394	89	74	14	1
3058	Seems you've got some kind of bug. Potato, I think.	1.1798	0.04941	89	76	10	3
3059	You say you need legs?	1.1798	0.04941	89	76	10	3
3060	Hey doc, I've been getting baked so often I'm beginning to think I'm fried.	1.1798	0.04394	89	74	14	1
3061	After the operation, I'll dress the incision site with sour cream and bacon bits	1.1798	0.04676	89	75	12	2
3062	I sadly agree Mr. Potato Head, a face transplant or converting to French fries are your only options.	1.1795	0.04739	78	65	12	1
3063	Well no it's not terminal. But you won't believe what we found on your colonoscopy.	1.1795	0.05396	78	67	8	3
3064	You seem to be in excellent health but checking your reflexes is proving to be problematic.	1.1795	0.04373	78	64	14	0
3065	Do you feel safe at home?	1.1795	0.05396	78	67	8	3
3066	Good job going gluten-free! Now try to cut down on overall carbs.	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
3067	Did you say your name is Oliver Hardy	1.1795	0.05396	78	67	8	3
3068	I've told you this before, Mr. Potato-Head and I'll remind you again: your starch level is off the charts and you need to bathe more often.	1.1795	0.05396	78	67	8	3
3069	If only we hadn’t fired our Ear-Foot-Mustache guy.	1.1795	0.04739	78	65	12	1
3070	Have you gotten baked in the last 24 hours?	1.1795	0.05396	78	67	8	3
3071	Your skin is the largest organ in your body.	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
3072	Says here that you are growing eyes in the back of your head.	1.1795	0.04739	78	65	12	1
3073	Do you still prefer the same pronoun that Hasbro gave you in 1952?	1.1795	0.05981	78	69	4	5
3074	Mister...Hm... Do you pronounce Potato or Potato?	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
3075	....so, as soon as we receive the shipment from Hasbro, we'll contact you to set the date for your rhinoplasty.	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
3076	You didn't make the cut as curly fries.	1.1795	0.05396	78	67	8	3
3077	So, hows it going with the phantom limb sensations?	1.1795	0.04373	78	64	14	0
3078	You really need to stay off the carbs…	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
3079	How long have you had this blind attraction to roast beef?	1.1795	0.05396	78	67	8	3
3080	Everything seems to be in order!	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
3081	The results have come back. I'm afraid it's tuber-culosis.	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
3082	Surprisingly your potassium levels are a little low. You may have to resort to cannibalism.	1.1795	0.04739	78	65	12	1
3083	I want to start by saying - there are no bad parts...	1.1791	0.05987	67	58	6	3
3084	The good news is we can replace your ear. The bad news is you will still be a vegetable.	1.1791	0.05597	67	57	8	2
3085	Luckily, you are a rare case. So gender re-assgnment is an easy outpatient procedure.	1.1791	0.04720	67	55	12	0
3086	And at most times, I’m disconnected from my body.	1.1791	0.04720	67	55	12	0
3087	As far as I can determine,your primary problem is that you appear to be a potato	1.1791	0.05597	67	57	8	2
3088	I’m seeing that you need a little more upper body work.	1.1791	0.05177	67	56	10	1
3089	You're not as young as you used to be. You can't just swap parts anytime you feel like it.	1.1791	0.05597	67	57	8	2
3090	And your name is?	1.1791	0.06354	67	59	4	4
3091	I don't know how to say this, it looks like they may be permanent.	1.1791	0.05597	67	57	8	2
3092	The results came back,and all the biopsies we took were positive—ly delicious	1.1791	0.05177	67	56	10	1
3093	You have to cut out the carbs.	1.1791	0.05597	67	57	8	2
3094	I can refer you to a great ear, nose, ears, and moustache guy I know.	1.1791	0.05177	67	56	10	1
3095	If you don't take care of yourself, you'll go to seed.	1.1789	0.04227	95	79	15	1
3096	Unfortunately, Mattel no longer makes that part!	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
3097	Time to give up that pipe. You're tubercular.	1.1786	0.05126	84	72	9	3
3098	I'd put you on a strict keto diet, but I think it'd be self-defeating.	1.1786	0.04838	84	71	11	2
3099	Let's keep an eye on your blood pressure. And your deliciousness.	1.1786	0.05126	84	72	9	3
3100	You should know that installing the blue muscle-y arms is an elective procedure.	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
3101	I'm afraid you're baked	1.1786	0.04838	84	71	11	2
3102	Sorry, sir - your feet may need some adjustment, but I'm not a podiatrist.	1.1786	0.05658	84	74	5	5
3103	You might consider avoiding carbs in your diet	1.1786	0.05126	84	72	9	3
3104	So what brings you here?	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
3105	I'm going to need you to cut down on your starches. Now get dressed and don't forget your jacket when you leave.	1.1786	0.04838	84	71	11	2
3106	Your testosterone therapy is coming along nicely Mrs. Potato Head.	1.1786	0.05126	84	72	9	3
3107	It's bad news, I'm afraid. You've got a tuber.	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
3108	Have you considered cutting down on starch?	1.1786	0.05126	84	72	9	3
3109	It seems that you are a man and cannot become a female because your removable parts are stuck in place!	1.1786	0.05126	84	72	9	3
3110	Mr. P you’ve got to cut down on the starchy foods.	1.1786	0.04204	84	69	15	0
3111	The good news is we've located your pants.	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
3112	So your sure you now want to become Mr. Potato Latka Head?	1.1786	0.04838	84	71	11	2
3113	Since you asked,I'm afraid you are what you eat.	1.1786	0.04838	84	71	11	2
3114	I’m prescribing a stress ball made of Silly Putty.	1.1786	0.04838	84	71	11	2
3115	Okay Mr. Head do you pronounce your first name "Poe-Tay-Toe" or "Poe-Tah-Toe".	1.1786	0.04838	84	71	11	2
3116	How do you feel about a complete do-over?	1.1782	0.04313	101	85	14	2
3117	Whether it ties in the front or the back is less important than actually putting one on.	1.1782	0.04750	101	87	10	4
3118	Applying heat should remedy your half-baked symptoms.	1.1781	0.05286	73	62	9	2
3119	The test came back: you are fried!	1.1781	0.05634	73	63	7	3
3120	It may seem simple, but replacing your nose will still take 6 hours and we need $40,000 up front.	1.1781	0.06273	73	65	3	5
3121	I promise it hurts I just forgot my pain eyes	1.1781	0.04509	73	60	13	0
3122	Where again did you say you pulled your hat from?	1.1781	0.05286	73	62	9	2
3123	A chin implant and tummy tuck just aren't possible.	1.1781	0.05286	73	62	9	2
3124	I couldn’t find your fingerling	1.1781	0.05286	73	62	9	2
3125	Care to tell me how you got a Battleship stuck in there?	1.1781	0.05286	73	62	9	2
3126	You'll need to have your eyes checked.	1.1781	0.04913	73	61	11	1
3127	"The hot tub is making you too soft and starchy inside	1.1781	0.05962	73	64	5	4
3128	GOOD NEWS, YOU ARE HIGH BUT NOT BAKED	1.1781	0.05286	73	62	9	2
3129	Fame can be very alienating. You can get yourself back to the garden, but it will never be the same.	1.1778	0.04628	90	76	12	2
3130	Is there a history of deep frying in your family?	1.1778	0.04890	90	77	10	3
3131	Oddly enough I recommend more starch in your diet.	1.1778	0.04890	90	77	10	3
3132	I believe we've discovered the cause of your constipation problem, Mr. Head	1.1778	0.04628	90	76	12	2
3133	You say, your self esteem is low because you would rather look like a French fry?	1.1778	0.04053	90	74	16	0
3134	So, now you identify as a 'spud'?	1.1778	0.04890	90	77	10	3
3135	I'm sorry to say I have no treatment for an identity crisis.	1.1778	0.04890	90	77	10	3
3136	You need to get off the couch more.	1.1778	0.04628	90	76	12	2
3137	You really need to cut back on your T.V. time, Mr. Lightyear	1.1778	0.05377	90	79	6	5
3138	I have to submit an "a-peel" for your insurance to cover the procedure.	1.1778	0.05377	90	79	6	5
3139	Actually,it is serious. You could lose an eye or any number of body parts.	1.1774	0.04891	62	51	11	0
3140	Mr. Potato Head, it says on your chart that you have been peeling away pounds for months now.	1.1774	0.06308	62	54	5	3
3141	Those multiple eruptions on your backside are “eyes”. They unfortunately are a result of old age.	1.1772	0.05018	79	67	10	2
3142	From Idaho. Likes kids. Loves to play games. Not missing any parts. But, identifies as a 'carbohydrate' ?	1.1772	0.04684	79	66	12	1
3143	I mean by undressing the hat and shoes, you can leave on the eyes ears nose and mustache...	1.1772	0.04684	79	66	12	1
3144	Unfortunately, you have to have knees to have knee surgery.	1.1772	0.05332	79	68	8	3
3145	I am sorry to tell you that you have a brain tuber. The treatment is baking at 450 degrees for one hour.	1.1772	0.04324	79	65	14	0
3146	Your transitioning surgery can be an outpatient procedure.	1.1772	0.05628	79	69	6	4
3147	Here’s a prescription for cheese. I guarantee it will make everything all better.	1.1772	0.04684	79	66	12	1
3148	What can I do for you today Mr. Potato Head, or is that Potahto Head?	1.1772	0.05018	79	67	10	2
3149	The genetic tests say you should avoid heated cooking oil.	1.1772	0.05332	79	68	8	3
3150	It's good that you only have two eyes, but tell me about your legs...	1.1772	0.05018	79	67	10	2
3151	Have you traveled to Ireland? It's blight.	1.1772	0.05018	79	67	10	2
3152	So it says here you have spud acute endocarditis	1.1772	0.05332	79	68	8	3
3153	I am afraid we are going to have to delay your surgery until a new shipment of parts arrives from China.	1.1772	0.05018	79	67	10	2
3154	The first thing, is cutting down on carbs.	1.1771	0.04187	96	80	15	1
3155	Let's up your protein and see how you feel.	1.1765	0.04484	85	71	13	1
3156	The results are back in...you've got tuberculosis.	1.1765	0.06265	68	60	4	4
3157	And today is the day you’ve felt more put together in awhile?	1.1765	0.06265	68	60	4	4
3158	We're going to remove your nose and stick it where your ear is.	1.1765	0.04786	85	72	11	2
3159	But more than anything, get off the darn couch.	1.1765	0.04484	85	71	13	1
3160	But they do call you ‘mister’—I’ve heard them.	1.1765	0.04786	85	72	11	2
3161	Where in Idaho?	1.1765	0.04657	68	56	12	0
3162	Thanksgiving doesn't worry me! Not even a little bit!	1.1765	0.04484	85	71	13	1
3163	Frankly, as is the case with most patients, I don’t have a clue what’s wrong with your head.	1.1765	0.05070	85	73	9	3
3164	You appear to be baked.	1.1765	0.05904	68	59	6	3
3165	I’d advise against another nose replacement.	1.1765	0.04786	85	72	11	2
3166	You need to lay off the sour cream and butter.	1.1765	0.04786	85	72	11	2
3167	In your case, transitioning would be essentially effortless.	1.1765	0.04786	85	72	11	2
3168	I'm afraid we will need to check with Timmy to see if we can get you some bigger ears which should help with your hearing. It is not up to me.	1.1765	0.05339	85	74	7	4
3169	Just don't sit on any walls again	1.1765	0.04707	102	88	10	4
3170	I am sorry to say that you have "Au Gratin Syndrome" and there is no cure. What kind of casserole dish would you prefer for your final resting place?	1.1765	0.04484	85	71	13	1
3171	A Cootie has died so there is a new liver available .	1.1765	0.04657	68	56	12	0
3172	I know it may sound cliche but in a very small population it could actually prove true.	1.1765	0.05904	68	59	6	3
3173	Any history of a great fall?	1.1758	0.04581	91	77	12	2
3174	I'm afraid we're going to have to amputate.	1.1758	0.04306	91	76	14	1
3175	And how old were you when you learned where French fries come from?	1.1758	0.05086	91	79	8	4
3176	It’s my head dr. I’ve had itonand off all my life	1.1758	0.04581	91	77	12	2
3177	The bad news, Mr. Potato Head, is that it is indeed 'late blight.' The good news is that there's no way to cut it out, so now no one will want to eat, can or freeze you.	1.1758	0.04581	91	77	12	2
3178	You should be good to go; but if your nose ends up in your hat hole again, do give us a call.	1.1758	0.04306	91	76	14	1
3179	What parts of your body are bothering you?	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
3180	Well, I'm afraid it's bad news. You've got tuber-culosis.	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
3181	Getting a yearly check-up is not a half-baked idea.	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
3182	You'll have to get pants before we can give you that other piece.	1.1757	0.05563	74	64	7	3
3183	I'm afraid the mustache will have to go first.	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
3184	Well….let’s see….you feel conspicuous in a crowd…	1.1757	0.04454	74	61	13	0
3185	Are you sure this is an examination table? I've been fooled by jacuzzis before.	1.1757	0.05886	74	65	5	4
3186	Don’t get discouraged - there is always room at the top for another Potato Head in Congress	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
3187	A hot salt bath would reduce your starch levels but I'm concerned about side effects	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
3188	Mr. Mackenzie, you indicated here that your kids say you have eyes at the back of your head?	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
3189	Potato, Potahto, I'm not calling anything off	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
3190	I wouldn't worry. Most of my patients only have 2 eyes.	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
3191	Yes, I’m sorry to report that all of your parts are detachable.	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
3192	And since when has that mustache been there?	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
3193	Get it? It’s not a tuber? Arnold Schwarzenegger? Never mind.	1.1754	0.06194	57	49	6	2
3194	Yes, I understand why you’re here. But I’m not that kind of plastic surgeon.	1.1754	0.06681	57	50	4	3
3195	So you have a problem with your ears?	1.1753	0.04863	97	84	9	4
3196	It’s a standard exam for men over 50	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
3197	My best advice is that you avoid boiling water.	1.1750	0.05270	80	69	8	3
3198	As a sweet potato your blood sugar falls within normal levels.	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
3199	You said your glasses are where, again?	1.1750	0.05270	80	69	8	3
3200	Numbers don’t lie. You’re spending too much time on the couch.	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
3201	I'm pleased you have stopped smoking your pipe	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
3202	Sir, your drug test came back. You appear to be baked.	1.1750	0.05270	80	69	8	3
3203	You cant let being the Grandson of Humpty Dumpty define you.	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
3204	Your tuberculosis test was negative but you need to stay off that couch.	1.1750	0.05839	80	71	4	5
3205	I'm concerned about your T-cell count. One potato, two potato, three potato four.	1.1750	0.05839	80	71	4	5
3206	I'm concerned about your carbs.	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
3207	Well, Mr. Head, your lab results are fine, but you'd be well advised to avoid Fish & Chips restaurants.	1.1750	0.05270	80	69	8	3
3208	I’m afraid i have bad news spud	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
3209	I’m going to refer you to a greengrocer.	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
3210	Everything's perfect. A little too perfect.	1.1750	0.05270	80	69	8	3
3211	Your labs are not great, so go easy on the butter and salt.	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
3212	The good news is that the new plastic prosthetic body is even better than the organic one.	1.1750	0.04275	80	66	14	0
3213	Had “a great fall!”, huh? Hal, you have a case of Shell Envy.	1.1746	0.05787	63	54	7	2
3214	The Mediterranean diet is great,but you are still 100% carbs.	1.1746	0.05326	63	53	9	1
3215	You’re going to have to cut down on the starch.	1.1746	0.05326	63	53	9	1
3216	The clipboard doesn't lie. You are to be diced and steamed with NO dressing; not roasted with oil, garlic and rosemary. I'm sorry. You are bland.	1.1746	0.05787	63	54	7	2
3217	I see here that you've been poked, stabbed, and coated with oil. What's the problem?	1.1744	0.04436	86	72	13	1
3218	If you don’t take off that extra weight, potato salad it is!	1.1744	0.04734	86	73	11	2
3219	So you haven’t been feeling well since you had some French fries?	1.1744	0.05015	86	74	9	3
3220	We've got it narrowed down -- it's definitely tuber-something-or-other.	1.1744	0.04734	86	73	11	2
3221	.....and stay away from walls.	1.1744	0.04436	86	72	13	1
3222	I don’t know how to tell you this, but you seem to have ‘lots of junk in that trunk’.	1.1744	0.04436	86	72	13	1
3223	I’m afraid one of those does not come with the standard set.	1.1739	0.04596	69	57	12	0
3224	The name is Steve Harvey.. correct?	1.1739	0.04791	92	79	10	3
3225	Weight-loss surgery? It's buckets of fun..	1.1739	0.04263	92	77	14	1
3226	We’re going to have to remove that eye.	1.1739	0.04535	92	78	12	2
3227	Your center of gravity makes most wall sitting fine, but your appendages won’t stop a great fall.	1.1739	0.04535	92	78	12	2
3228	I see you've got some new appendages; I would hold off getting any more.	1.1739	0.04535	92	78	12	2
3229	It says here you had a knee-jerk reaction to the vaccine? I must say I find that hard to believe...	1.1739	0.04535	92	78	12	2
3230	You may need rhinoplasty to improve breathing.	1.1739	0.05039	69	58	10	1
3231	You should really cut down on carbs...	1.1739	0.04596	69	57	12	0
3232	For your insomnia,I can prescribe you another set of eyes that you can wear at night.	1.1739	0.05445	69	59	8	2
3233	It seems that your brains are fried.	1.1739	0.05488	92	82	4	6
3234	Your symptoms in include potato headedness and a shortness of butter? Were you recently baked?	1.1735	0.04358	98	83	13	2
3235	Sorry, you have to jump.	1.1733	0.04400	75	62	13	0
3236	At this age you can expect eyes. No worries, we can freeze them off.	1.1733	0.05493	75	65	7	3
3237	You’re not you when you’re hungry.	1.1733	0.04792	75	63	11	1
3238	So, I see here that you came in today for a plastic surgery consultation…”	1.1733	0.04792	75	63	11	1
3239	Well Mr Head, I was going to have you cough while I checked your nuts, but well, you’ve lost them	1.1733	0.05493	75	65	7	3
3240	Well, we can remove either the mustache or the hat, but there's not enough room in there for both	1.1733	0.05155	75	64	9	2
3241	I recommend cutting back on the starches.	1.1733	0.04792	75	63	11	1
3242	You’re going to have to cut back on Candyland and avoid Chutes and Ladders.	1.1733	0.05493	75	65	7	3
3243	So the results have come back, sir, and honestly, well, I'm not sure I quite believe it either, but it appears that the problem is you are in fact a ...erm... Potato.	1.1733	0.05493	75	65	7	3
3244	Are there any other nuts in your family?	1.1733	0.05155	75	64	9	2
3245	For a guy your age, your body could use a little work; The good news: your brain is stronger than ever.	1.1733	0.05155	75	64	9	2
3246	Let's do the Lobotomy, then let the ' Chips fall where they may' ."	1.1728	0.05209	81	70	8	3
3247	This operation's going to cost an arm and a leg.	1.1728	0.05209	81	70	8	3
3248	Salt, butter, sour cream, chives. Any other allergies?	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
3249	We will replace it, but your lovemaking days are over.	1.1728	0.04227	81	67	14	0
3250	The tests confirm that you are essentially just a potato.	1.1728	0.05497	81	71	6	4
3251	Here for the prostate exam?	1.1728	0.05209	81	70	8	3
3252	I recommend that you cut down on your carbohydrates.	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
3253	We need to have a serious conversation. You're going to have to stop getting baked.	1.1728	0.05497	81	71	6	4
3254	So,remember,I need you to cut out all carbs,even Mrs. Potato Head.	1.1728	0.05209	81	70	8	3
3255	You say you don't own a couch.	1.1728	0.05497	81	71	6	4
3256	I see the potato sprouts have cleared, but I'm worried about your arm atrophying.	1.1728	0.05209	81	70	8	3
3257	Fortunately, we have the ability to replace any part of you that isn't working.	1.1728	0.04578	81	68	12	1
3258	But Doctor I don	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
3259	And how is "little Bobby" your ENT, your ophthalmologist and your orthopedic surgeon?	1.1728	0.05497	81	71	6	4
3260	And how long has it been since you last saw your body?	1.1728	0.05209	81	70	8	3
3261	Instead of 10,000 steps, just begin with 500.	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
3262	I'd like to have a little plastic surgery and look like a top model French fry.	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
3263	Your eye count is down to two, and those are plastic. I’m afraid your prospects for producing offspring are not looking good.	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
3264	First, I recommend switching to a low-carb diet.	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
3265	I understand you identify as a potato, but have you considered your pear-shaped body?	1.1724	0.04389	87	73	13	1
3266	So show me where your knee hurts	1.1724	0.04684	87	74	11	2
3267	You need to stop being such a couch potato and get off your hash.	1.1724	0.04684	87	74	11	2
3268	…and don’t sit on any walls.	1.1724	0.04684	87	74	11	2
3269	I can't explain it Mr. Potato Head, but according to these lab tests you're pregnant.	1.1724	0.04684	87	74	11	2
3270	In this case I think less starch might be ideal.	1.1724	0.04073	87	72	15	0
3271	I want to run a few tests. Please leave your left ear with the receptionist.	1.1724	0.06094	58	50	6	2
3272	Accessories” from the Urologist are available now in a multipack.	1.1720	0.04490	93	79	12	2
3273	We will have to start by removing your nose.	1.1720	0.04743	93	80	10	3
3274	I told you to take it easy on the carbs...	1.1720	0.04983	93	81	8	4
3275	Those tots need to come out.	1.1719	0.05249	64	54	9	1
3276	I'm afraid it's phytophthora infestans commonly known as blight.	1.1719	0.05249	64	54	9	1
3277	No, eating a French fry doesn’t make you a cannibal.	1.1719	0.05702	64	55	7	2
3278	I' m writing you a referral to a party supply store.	1.1719	0.06122	64	56	5	3
3279	I see you're interested in a complete facial reconstruction	1.1719	0.05702	64	55	7	2
3280	Replace your nose and both ears and call me in the morning...	1.1719	0.05249	64	54	9	1
3281	It says here that you are afraid of salt.	1.1719	0.05702	64	55	7	2
3282	I think we found the problem here. Your x-rays show a pair of shoes, an earring, spectacles, a visor, a purse, two disembodied ears and a pipe.	1.1717	0.04317	99	84	13	2
3283	So you're having a problem with your eyes?	1.1714	0.05373	70	60	8	2
3284	Your carb levels are off the charts.	1.1714	0.05373	70	60	8	2
3285	How's your nutrition?	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
3286	Unfortunately, it seems the tuber has metastasized throughout your head.	1.1714	0.05373	70	60	8	2
3287	We're taking you off the high carb diet.	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
3288	You have a little too much starch in your diet.	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
3289	Well, as long as you can still touch your toes, you're in pretty good shape.	1.1714	0.04537	70	58	12	0
3290	We successfully removed the sprouts but you can no longer have children	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
3291	The good news is that those pesky sprouts don’t so much mean that your end is near as that you can live on as the next generation by merely agreeing to be quartered and planted.	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
3292	I can't find anything wrong with you. You may feel wobbly because, well, you don't have legs.	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
3293	When was the last time you broke down?	1.1714	0.05373	70	60	8	2
3294	Changing the nose is not a problem, however, doing the neck may have side effects.	1.1714	0.05373	70	60	8	2
3295	Jim, you gotta lay off the carbs.	1.1714	0.05373	70	60	8	2
3296	You need to pull back on the starch.	1.1712	0.04022	111	94	15	2
3297	I told you to eliminate carbs, not to consume your own legs.	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
3298	we offer leg prosthetists in regular, shoestring of crinkle cut.	1.1711	0.04734	76	64	11	1
3299	Try and get some rest in a cold damp cellar.	1.1711	0.05425	76	66	7	3
3300	You need to go on a no starch diet.	1.1711	0.04734	76	64	11	1
3301	At your age, it's normal to lose your ears and nose. It's your cholesterol that concerns me.	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
3302	You're pregnant.	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
3303	No doubt your headaches are real, but you're making them your whole personality.	1.1711	0.05425	76	66	7	3
3304	I'm afraid we haven't been able to get to the root of the problem.	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
3305	So, it says here you've been eating a lot of potatoes.	1.1711	0.05425	76	66	7	3
3306	good news Spud,your wife expecting again,one potato two potato three potato four!	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
3307	So I see here you want Harry Styles' nose?	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
3308	You said French Fry is your next of kin.	1.1711	0.05739	76	67	5	4
3309	I know Thanksgiving brings back difficult memories, try to avoid hot baths for a while.	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
3310	Sure, I’m game. Will your insurance company play along?	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
3311	Your sodium is low. I'm also detecting suppressed levels of sour cream, butter, and bacon bits.	1.1711	0.05739	76	67	5	4
3312	Yes, the tests show you are much more than just a head."	1.1707	0.04181	82	68	14	0
3313	This sinus operation is life-changing. It'll feel like you're breathing through a brand new nose.	1.1707	0.04848	82	70	10	2
3314	You have too much starch in your system	1.1707	0.05434	82	72	6	4
3315	I'm afraid it's bad news, any way you slice it.	1.1707	0.04527	82	69	12	1
3316	E-N-T, yes, well, three out of five isn't bad.	1.1707	0.05149	82	71	8	3
3317	And how are your little tots doing?	1.1707	0.04181	82	68	14	0
3318	And you should definitely stay away from sour cream and chives.	1.1707	0.04848	82	70	10	2
3319	Now, Bend over and touch your knees. Oh, I think we can skip that part of the exam.	1.1707	0.05149	82	71	8	3
3320	A quick scrape with the peeler, it’ll be goodbye Mr. Chips and hello Ma Kettle.	1.1705	0.04908	88	76	9	3
3321	French fries and chips daily?!	1.1705	0.04634	88	75	11	2
3322	The best I can give you is an hour at four-fifty.	1.1705	0.04634	88	75	11	2
3323	So I recommend a low-starch diet.	1.1705	0.04908	88	76	9	3
3324	For ‘Emergency Contact,’ we’re going to need something more than just ‘Little Jimmy’.	1.1705	0.04634	88	75	11	2
3325	You’re going to need a plastic surgeon with a 3D printer.	1.1705	0.04634	88	75	11	2
3326	It’s under the hat.	1.1705	0.04634	88	75	11	2
3327	Sometimes I feel like life is just a construct.	1.1705	0.05167	88	77	7	4
3328	No Woody, huh?	1.1705	0.04908	88	76	9	3
3329	We've got to snip you in the spud, bud.	1.1705	0.04634	88	75	11	2
3330	It seems to me that you are falling apart.	1.1702	0.04180	94	79	14	1
3331	A little less social media and your starch levels should return to normal.	1.1702	0.04446	94	80	12	2
3332	The good news is our carbo loading for the marathon is right on target.	1.1700	0.04726	100	87	9	4
3333	You're going to have to cut down on starch.	1.1692	0.06032	65	57	5	3
3334	Exactly how did you become ‘baked’?	1.1692	0.05174	65	55	9	1
3335	Mr. Head, When did you last see the rest of your add-on accessories?	1.1692	0.05174	65	55	9	1
3336	Look, I know you're tried of hearing it, but we really have to talk about your carb intake.	1.1692	0.05620	65	56	7	2
3337	You're a complex carbohydrate,but generally healthy.	1.1692	0.05174	65	55	9	1
3338	Here’s a referral to dermatology to have those eyes examined.	1.1692	0.05620	65	56	7	2
3339	' Your BMI is off the charts and no... you can't wear your hat while I measure your height.	1.1692	0.05174	65	55	9	1
3340	Face it. We’ll take this head on.	1.1692	0.05174	65	55	9	1
3341	Damian Lillard would want you to get off the couch and exercise.	1.1692	0.05620	65	56	7	2
3342	I yam glad you came in today - gender neutrality has not caused you any harm in the market.	1.1690	0.05669	71	62	6	3
3343	Your abdominal problems are all in your head.	1.1690	0.05302	71	61	8	2
3344	So, you're thinking of getting a sex change?	1.1690	0.05669	71	62	6	3
3345	I was going to ask you to turn your potato head and cough, but I think we can skip that part.	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
3346	Be honest... did you use any of Mrs. Potato Head's parts for this physical?	1.1690	0.05669	71	62	6	3
3347	So...your back flap no longer extends.	1.1690	0.05669	71	62	6	3
3348	I'm afraid you'll have to face your starch reality.	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
3349	Well, the good news is that the surgery will take about four seconds.	1.1690	0.04479	71	59	12	0
3350	Let's cut down on the carbs, shall we?	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
3351	Joe, use some protection or you’ll get Julie in trouble!	1.1690	0.05302	71	61	8	2
3352	Easy. I said ‘tuber.’	1.1690	0.04479	71	59	12	0
3353	You've gained 20 pounds. I need to know who put you on this cream cheese and chive diet.	1.1690	0.04479	71	59	12	0
3354	You've gotta stop drinking. You tell me that every night you're either half-baked, fried, or fully loaded.	1.1690	0.05669	71	62	6	3
3355	If I were you I stay away from deep fryers, boiling water and hot ovens.	1.1688	0.04297	77	64	13	0
3356	Too many carbs	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
3357	Do you often feel you have a swelled head?	1.1688	0.05669	77	68	5	4
3358	Good, no falls in the past year	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
3359	Have you tried reducing your carbs?	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
3360	Look Mister, you really need to cut down on the carbs.	1.1688	0.05359	77	67	7	3
3361	Your carb count is off the charts	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
3362	Before we go any further, I'd like to consult with my grandson.	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
3363	I find it ironic your friends call you a masher.	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
3364	That was incredibly acrobatic of you.	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
3365	I told you the King's horses and men were wrong.	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
3366	I recommend less starch in your diet. Perhaps a change to Mr. Broccoli Head?	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
3367	medicine has advanced indeed, but we are unable to know for sure who came first, you or your mom.	1.1688	0.05669	77	68	5	4
3368	So you say you feel hollow inside...	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
3369	The good news is you haven't aged one bit. The bad news is a little kid can deconstruct you in seconds.	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
3370	Good news, looks like your parts are all exactly where they should be! Tell the Mrs. I'm sorry to hear about her nose on top of her head.	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
3371	Good news, all your parts are in the right place, bad news you're a talking potato head with a moustache	1.1687	0.05091	83	72	8	3
3372	You're going to have to take better care of yourself. Yourinsides are all mashed up."	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
3373	Now stand up and let's take a look at your tots.	1.1687	0.04793	83	71	10	2
3374	Well, it's detachable. Have you considered the possibility that you lost it somewhere?	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
3375	So, you’re often mistaken for Mr. Potato head, and you are hoping for a remedy?	1.1687	0.04793	83	71	10	2
3376	If you are doing with your health what I told you what you should not do, you will turn into French Fries!	1.1687	0.04793	83	71	10	2
3377	My usual diagnosis would be to cut down on carbs, but you're a hard case Mr. Russet.	1.1687	0.04793	83	71	10	2
3378	How much facial reconstruction surgery have you had ??!!!	1.1687	0.05091	83	72	8	3
3379	I really can't check your vitals as you don't have any.	1.1687	0.05091	83	72	8	3
3380	Looks like you have a bad case of tuber-culosis.	1.1687	0.04135	83	69	14	0
3381	You’re good. Just stay away from walls.	1.1687	0.05091	83	72	8	3
3382	Good news and bad news: Good is you to not have E.D., Bad is you do not have one.	1.1687	0.05639	83	74	4	5
3383	The good news is it’s not appendicitis. The bad news is you’re completely hollow inside.	1.1685	0.04856	89	77	9	3
3384	I'm afraid your head is not the problem.	1.1685	0.04586	89	76	11	2
3385	You've had your chips, I'm afraid	1.1685	0.05113	89	78	7	4
3386	Watch your step.	1.1684	0.04402	95	81	12	2
3387	You are boiled, Mr. Potato	1.1667	0.04247	78	65	13	0
3388	Your vitamin C, potassium, and vitamin B6 all look good but the carbohydrate levels are causing your blood sugar and insulin to surge and then dip.	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
3389	Most of the pain you're experiencing seems to be related to the various pairs of eyeglasses, toupees, and hats in your lower intestines.	1.1667	0.04091	84	70	14	0
3390	There's always a risk you end up a vegetable...	1.1667	0.05540	66	57	7	2
3391	About how many bees stung you?	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
3392	How’s the Mrs?	1.1667	0.04091	84	70	14	0
3393	I'm going to recommend you change your ears.	1.1667	0.05102	66	56	9	1
3394	‘Your head is totally out of proportion to your body’	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
3395	There is no easy way to say this but, essentially, your brains are mashed potatoes.”	1.1667	0.04247	78	65	13	0
3396	If you cannot spell “potato” you could be a running mate!	1.1667	0.04539	90	77	11	2
3397	Well,I did find some blemishes on your skin but if you stay in a cool dark dry place you should be all right.	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
3398	Would you like for me to call you Mr. Head, or may I use your given name?	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
3399	Biopsy, french fry -- potato, potahto.	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
3400	Is ‘Potato’ your first name?	1.1667	0.05102	66	56	9	1
3401	The nurse will be right in to complete the spud draw.	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
3402	On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the worst pain, how much does it hurt when they call you Potato-head?	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
3403	Well, it looks like we're going to have to remove your right arm.	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
3404	I’m afraid, you’ll have to give up carbs.	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
3405	Another six to eight weeks and you’ll be back up on that wall …	1.1667	0.05540	66	57	7	2
3406	Sir, I can't take your urine sample if you left it at home...	1.1667	0.04845	72	61	10	1
3407	Nothing to worry about. A common phobia called timent filii hominis faciem tuam trahentes et tunc reponentes eum in unum vare. Fear of children pulling your face apart, then putting it back together askew. Should subside as the children age	1.1667	0.04845	72	61	10	1
3408	Well, the good news is that all your body parts are where they should be today. The bad news - I couldn't locate your prostate.	1.1667	0.05059	90	79	7	4
3409	We'll need to drill to attach THAT.	1.1667	0.04740	84	72	10	2
3410	I'm glad you came to see me before you fell apart.	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
3411	You do look a bit over stuffed......	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
3412	You are a serious fall risk. My prescription for all of the king’s horses and men is the best prophylaxis.	1.1667	0.05294	78	68	7	3
3413	I’m so sorry. It’s cancer.	1.1667	0.04539	90	77	11	2
3414	I need to check your eyes. Can you roll onto your stomach for me?	1.1667	0.04623	66	55	11	0
3415	Sorry, I didn’t recognize you from our last appointment.	1.1667	0.05540	66	57	7	2
3416	You're going to need to cut down on your consumption of potatoes.	1.1667	0.05294	78	68	7	3
3417	Your eyes are fine. It’s the rest of you that has be concerned	1.1667	0.04740	84	72	10	2
3418	So you’re feeling all mashed up on the inside?	1.1667	0.05600	78	69	5	4
3419	Well I'm not sure I can help you--I'm a stomach doctor and you don't seem to have one.	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
3420	lose the hat and i'll work with you.	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
3421	And finally, how much TV do you watch?	1.1667	0.05102	66	56	9	1
3422	An air fryer will definitely cut down on your carbs.	1.1667	0.05034	84	73	8	3
3423	You say you've tried acupuncture?	1.1667	0.04255	90	76	13	1
3424	So the chips are out but the mash could work	1.1667	0.04845	72	61	10	1
3425	You should probably cut down on starches.	1.1667	0.04247	78	65	13	0
3426	I'm afraid I have bad news Mr. Head. It looks like a brain tuber.	1.1667	0.05540	66	57	7	2
3427	I think we both know what I'm about to say. You need to ease off on the carbs.	1.1667	0.04360	96	82	12	2
3428	Maybe you should cut back on the Carbs	1.1667	0.05102	66	56	9	1
3429	My dear Mr. Head, for insurance purposes, do you identify as Russet, Sweat or Yukon?	1.1667	0.05034	84	73	8	3
3430	All things considered, you're in remarkably good shape for a 71-year-old potato with gender issues."	1.1667	0.04845	72	61	10	1
3431	You say you are from Idaho? Never could've guessed!	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
3432	And now please read starting at the top of the chart on the wall behind you.	1.1667	0.05540	66	57	7	2
3433	I am a potato.	1.1667	0.04247	78	65	13	0
3434	I'm afraid your mother is right. How many potatoes do you eat?	1.1667	0.04806	90	78	9	3
3435	It sounds like you've been watching a lot of TikTok — that's great. We can skip all this diagnostic bullshit. What do you need? Adderall? Vyvanse? Concerta? All three? Dealer's choice?	1.1667	0.04845	72	61	10	1
3436	I'm writing you a prescription for glue in case of emergencies.	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
3437	I said MRI not FRY.	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
3438	Good news, its all in your head! Your potassium levels are terrific!	1.1667	0.04199	102	87	13	2
3439	Unfortunately it seems like you are a giant head	1.1667	0.04639	102	89	9	4
3440	Everything looks fine, Mr. Baker--you have the constitution of a new potato. Please give my regards to Mrs. Baker and the Tater Tots.	1.1667	0.04604	96	83	10	3
3441	Nothing serious but lay off the carbs.	1.1667	0.04740	84	72	10	2
3442	As you are a person of color, I think vital signs are all we need today.	1.1667	0.04091	84	70	14	0
3443	…and how’s the missus?	1.1667	0.05040	102	91	5	6
3444	‘“Actually, the primary reason I can’t prescribe the new weight loss drug, is because you’re a plastic toy”	1.1667	0.04740	84	72	10	2
3445	I suggest you avoid Mr. Butter and Mr. Sour Cream.	1.1667	0.04845	72	61	10	1
3446	In your case, the organ swap is actually quite easy	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
3447	The results show you are allergic to gluten.	1.1667	0.03950	90	75	15	0
3448	I know you're used to being poked, but everyone hates this next one.	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
3449	The gender affirmation surgery will actually be quite simple, Mrs. Potato Head.	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
3450	You might consider donating your body to domestic science	1.1667	0.05034	84	73	8	3
3451	Your recent colonoscopy turned up a surprising number of ears.	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
3452	Mashing is the only resort left.	1.1667	0.04806	90	78	9	3
3453	It says here you’re nothing but empty calories.	1.1667	0.05903	60	52	6	2
3454	Your cholesterol levels concern me.	1.1667	0.05600	78	69	5	4
3455	Keep watching the carbs.	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
3456	I'm putting you on a low-starch diet.	1.1650	0.04596	103	90	9	4
3457	I'm sorry to inform you, your insurance does not cover implants. You will have to pay out of pocket.	1.1649	0.04318	97	83	12	2
3458	I’m not sure how best to couch this- your disguise only reinforces your versatility	1.1649	0.04318	97	83	12	2
3459	It's just a mild case of tuber-culosis	1.1649	0.03788	97	81	16	0
3460	Well the fact is you’re a tuber. But if you want to identify as a fruit, that actually makes sense.	1.1648	0.04756	91	79	9	3
3461	It’s a life choice…not a condition. Couch potato?	1.1648	0.04492	91	78	11	2
3462	I am sorry to inform you that you appear to be suffering from a multiple personality disorder.	1.1648	0.04212	91	77	13	1
3463	Fortunately, it’s a benign tuber.	1.1648	0.04212	91	77	13	1
3464	Not to worry. We do a simple incision then inject sour cream.	1.1648	0.03911	91	76	15	0
3465	Avoiding butter, cheese, and gravy will extend your life.	1.1647	0.05252	85	75	6	4
3466	The high-carb, low-protein diet may not be working for you.	1.1647	0.04047	85	71	14	0
3467	The cosmetic surgery was a success.	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
3468	I want you back at six tonight. Bring sour cream.	1.1647	0.04688	85	73	10	2
3469	Forgive me for asking, but are you baked right now?	1.1647	0.05252	85	75	6	4
3470	You’re just one giant carb.	1.1647	0.04688	85	73	10	2
3471	"You're saying the low-carb diet doesn't appeal to you?"	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
3472	Well Mr. Potato Head, you're at the age where it's time to start thinking about a colonoscopy...	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
3473	Have you considered a low-carb diet?	1.1647	0.04688	85	73	10	2
3474	I think the problem is too much carbs.	1.1647	0.04688	85	73	10	2
3475	Mr. Potatoe Head, you have the clap.	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
3476	I do recommend that you eat less carbs	1.1647	0.04688	85	73	10	2
3477	I’m doing my best to come up with a diagnosis, but the pieces just aren’t fitting together.	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
3478	It says here that you fall apart easily; have you considered journaling?	1.1647	0.04688	85	73	10	2
3479	Yes, I am sorry but you have turned into a potato.	1.1647	0.04688	85	73	10	2
3480	Frank, you've got to stick to the low carbohydrate diet if you know what's good for you.	1.1646	0.04198	79	66	13	0
3481	Avoid hot baths	1.1646	0.04911	79	68	9	2
3482	Luckily a colon wasn't included in your play-set, just please cut down on the pipe.	1.1646	0.04911	79	68	9	2
3483	I strongly recommend we schedule a backdooroscopy	1.1646	0.05231	79	69	7	3
3484	I can confirm the diagnosis of "you have a big headed body"!	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
3485	Remember: steer clear of deep fryers and salt!	1.1646	0.04198	79	66	13	0
3486	So, why do you feel you need an implant?	1.1646	0.04911	79	68	9	2
3487	So.. why don’t you put off the costume.. Oh.. Ok….. you identify as a potato?	1.1646	0.05231	79	69	7	3
3488	Your health is not bad overall, but you really do need to cut down on the carbohydrates.	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
3489	I suggest you steer clear of fries.	1.1646	0.04911	79	68	9	2
3490	Normally, I would say that these test results are quite abysmal, but the good news is… you’re just a potato.	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
3491	Could you prescribe some anticracking cream?”	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
3492	I'm going to need you to cut down on starches.	1.1646	0.04198	79	66	13	0
3493	Your health is excellent, Mr. Potato Head, however, that now limits your choice to being boiled in water or in oil?	1.1644	0.04368	73	61	12	0
3494	Exactly what do you want supersized?	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
3495	The scan showed starch results.	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
3496	The problem is that you have been a couch potato for years and this is the result.	1.1644	0.05166	73	63	8	2
3497	So to recap, you feel an emptiness inside and believe it’s due to all the head games people play with you.	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
3498	Remove everything and put on the gown, but you can keep your eyes in."	1.1644	0.05166	73	63	8	2
3499	Well, it's good to see you're in fine form but just know that your nose, ears, and limbs may fall off at any moment.	1.1644	0.05166	73	63	8	2
3500	Your cholesterol levels are excellent, but I want to keep an eye on the crinkle-cut stool.	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
3501	I recommend removal of your, hat, shoes, arms, glasses, ears and mustache, and that you give up starches.	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
3502	Stay in the sack Thanksgiving morning or you might get into hot water.	1.1644	0.05166	73	63	8	2
3503	Now if you can turn over on your belly and open up your rear door compartment I’ll pull out your glasses so we can proceed with the eye chart test.	1.1644	0.05166	73	63	8	2
3504	So I'm guessing this isn't the first time you're in for plastic surgery.	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
3505	I’d recommend sour cream and chives during meals	1.1644	0.05166	73	63	8	2
3506	Now I just need to take your spud pressure.	1.1642	0.05462	67	58	7	2
3507	'I'm afraid you've got a tuber.'	1.1642	0.05462	67	58	7	2
3508	I notice that you wish to donate your body to a food bank.	1.1642	0.04560	67	56	11	0
3509	Apparently you’re all carbs.	1.1642	0.05031	67	57	9	1
3510	You have to cut down the fried food.	1.1642	0.05462	67	58	7	2
3511	You've got to cut back on carbs.	1.1642	0.05462	67	58	7	2
3512	Putting aside the weight issue, I see no problem with your joints.	1.1642	0.05462	67	58	7	2
3513	I've been meaning to ask, how do you and the Mrs. create little french fries?	1.1642	0.05462	67	58	7	2
3514	Unfortunately, your eyes have spread….	1.1642	0.05031	67	57	9	1
3515	Your health report stated you elected to have your body lowered instead of having a face lift in order to save money.	1.1642	0.05462	67	58	7	2
3516	We need to cut down on your carbos.	1.1639	0.06264	61	54	4	3
3517	Unfortunately, your good plastic carbs are low and the bad ones are high.	1.1639	0.05811	61	53	6	2
3518	Have you tried moving the pieces around? Scott Stafford Lafayette, CA	1.1636	0.06230	55	48	5	2
3519	I think you should cut back on the Carb's , Mr Potatohead.	1.1633	0.04960	98	87	6	5
3520	So you're saying someone who was half-baked tried to bake you?	1.1633	0.04277	98	84	12	2
3521	At this point, we suggest adding some internal organs. It’s day surgery. They just snap on	1.1630	0.04955	92	81	7	4
3522	Carbs are, uh, okay in moderation.	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
3523	The eggshell density test shows you’re at risk of cracking. Whatever you do, don’t sit on a wall!	1.1628	0.04924	86	75	8	3
3524	Wow you certainly had a great fall! Laura T Miller Lenoir -NC	1.1628	0.04924	86	75	8	3
3525	No, I’m sorry, medical treatment does not include finding new legs for you.	1.1628	0.04637	86	74	10	2
3526	sir, it would appear that you don't have knees.	1.1628	0.04637	86	74	10	2
3527	Almost thought you were a potato under that disguise!	1.1628	0.04637	86	74	10	2
3528	Avoid starch.	1.1628	0.04637	86	74	10	2
3529	I’m seeing some very low numbers in potassium again.	1.1628	0.04332	86	73	12	1
3530	I'm afraid you need to lay off the sour cream.	1.1628	0.04637	86	74	10	2
3531	How are the tots?	1.1628	0.04637	86	74	10	2
3532	You say you’re getting headaches. Could you be a bit more specific?	1.1628	0.04637	86	74	10	2
3533	I’m going to start you on new eyebrows plus ears and do you have a smaller prostrate in your box?	1.1628	0.04637	86	74	10	2
3534	You bloodwork came back, and I would suggest that you lay off the butter and sour cream.	1.1625	0.04853	80	69	9	2
3535	A small human laughed while pulling my right arm out. I couldn’t retrieve it as it was tossed under his bed with all the empty potato chips bags. He’s for a thing with potatoes…	1.1625	0.04853	80	69	9	2
3536	I must say, Mr. Head - those fasting blood starch levels are cause for concern...	1.1625	0.05169	80	70	7	3
3537	I'm recommending you cut back on starches.	1.1625	0.04853	80	69	9	2
3538	With winter coming on, I recommend paper wrap and a dark, cool environment for the foreseeable future.	1.1625	0.04151	80	67	13	0
3539	Well, the good news is everything's replaceable."	1.1625	0.04853	80	69	9	2
3540	Has anyone ever described to you the risks involved in a monoculture lifestyle?	1.1625	0.04516	80	68	11	1
3541	We could play a game. No, wait. You've tried that.	1.1625	0.04516	80	68	11	1
3542	Maybe a vacation? Go someplace where you can sit on the beach and bake in the sun.	1.1625	0.05467	80	71	5	4
3543	Reassignment will be a snap.	1.1622	0.04724	74	63	10	1
3544	All your parts are in the correct slots. The bad news? I can’t guarantee they’ll stay there for long.	1.1622	0.04314	74	62	12	0
3545	I'm going to recommend you get a new couch, and eyeglasses.	1.1622	0.04724	74	63	10	1
3546	Everything seems to be in the right place. Just don’t let it go to your head.	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
3547	I wouldn’t worry. Seems like a simple case of potato head.	1.1622	0.05451	74	65	6	3
3548	It could be unhealthy to advocate defunding the 'King's Men'.	1.1622	0.04314	74	62	12	0
3549	I expect it’s temporary, ma’am.	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
3550	We'll have to run some more tests, but it looks like a sizeable tuber.	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
3551	That pill only works if you have something to start with	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
3552	Sorry, it must be all in your head.	1.1622	0.05451	74	65	6	3
3553	Depressed . . . yes . . . the misses just left me for somebody else! Apparently she wanted something right out of the fryer, I think he was french! Something about the double arches and a happy meal too.	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
3554	This is where I usually explain the risks of gender reassignment surgery, but in your case I’m not too worried about it.	1.1622	0.04724	74	63	10	1
3555	According to your chart, you have trouble consistently seeing, touching, hearing, tasting, and smelling based on the whims of external factors?	1.1622	0.04724	74	63	10	1
3556	Now that we have reassembled you, Mr. Dumpty, our Federally Funded Apparel Advisory Commission would like a word with you about your hat.	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
3557	Well, that's not the strangest thing I've removed from a patient's rectum.	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
3558	I'll have to rearrange my schedule to rearrange you.	1.1618	0.04963	68	58	9	1
3559	Next time, maybe don't cough so hard	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
3560	Bad news, looks like you have a brain tuber.	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
3561	If you really want to go underground, you should go to a gardener.	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
3562	I cannot check your heart -- you're sitting on it!	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
3563	You seem a tad agitatered.	1.1618	0.04963	68	58	9	1
3564	Shall we discuss your BMI?	1.1618	0.04499	68	57	11	0
3565	You might want to raise your eyebrows when I tell you this.	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
3566	I suppose you’re going to tell me that you “fell” on it?	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
3567	Let me get this straight…You were whipped in tennis because you mashed your hand in the bakery door…and your patience is fried, waiting so long to be seen…	1.1618	0.04963	68	58	9	1
3568	Time to cut back on those carbs	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
3569	Well, you’ll need some body parts replaced eventually, but not the hips.	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
3570	Soo..you say you have joint pain in the hips and knees.	1.1616	0.03986	99	84	14	1
3571	You are what you eat, I recommend that you take it easy on the fries.	1.1613	0.05241	62	53	8	1
3572	It’s a simple diagnosis. Too many carbs.	1.1613	0.05241	62	53	8	1
3573	We can save a fortune on knee replacements since don't have any.	1.1613	0.05241	62	53	8	1
3574	Things to avoid: oils, onions, garlic & paprika. No hot tubs or hot ovens.	1.1613	0.04402	93	80	11	2
3575	Next, let's look at options for the nose job...	1.1613	0.05241	62	53	8	1
3576	Yea, everyone feels uncomfortable here. It's not just couch potatoes.	1.1613	0.04709	62	52	10	0
3577	I see you've had several transplants.	1.1613	0.05723	62	54	6	2
3578	Your prognosis, simply put, is out of the frying pan and into the fryer.	1.1613	0.05241	62	53	8	1
3579	Our very first priority -- even before removing that melanoma-like growth above your lip -- is giving you a proper pair of legs.	1.1613	0.06582	62	56	2	4
3580	I agree; stay incognito because the price of potatoes have gone up.	1.1613	0.06168	62	55	4	3
3581	You may want to consider a low carbohydrate diet, Mr. Spuds	1.1613	0.04709	62	52	10	0
3582	Take this prescription so you can get baked legally	1.1613	0.04904	93	82	7	4
3583	...and you have eleven siblings.	1.1609	0.04286	87	74	12	1
3584	...no more than two glasses of wine or beer a day and whatever you do don't get up on anything higher than this exam table.	1.1609	0.04588	87	75	10	2
3585	Yes, I think you should try Pilates.	1.1609	0.04286	87	74	12	1
3586	Home Fries or Hash Browns?	1.1609	0.04588	87	75	10	2
3587	I recommend you lay off the pot smoking--you're half-baked.	1.1609	0.04870	87	76	8	3
3588	Your glucose levels are high and you're not even fried.	1.1607	0.05569	56	48	7	1
3589	First of all,I think we need to look at a gluten-free diet.	1.1607	0.05569	56	48	7	1
3590	Unfortunately, the insurance companies consider spud reduction cosmetic surgery and it isn't covered.	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
3591	I know that you have been lonely since Mr. Potato Head has gone out of style. Have you tried a makeover? French Fries are still very popular.	1.1605	0.04797	81	70	9	2
3592	You need to exercise. You can't go on being a couch... well, you know.	1.1605	0.04104	81	68	13	0
3593	Any way I slice it, you gotta lose some weight.	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
3594	I recommend cutting starch from your diet.	1.1605	0.05109	81	71	7	3
3595	Your blood type is...McCormick?	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
3596	Sorry to tell you, but it seems that you have a swelled head...	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
3597	I recommend a keto diet with far less carbohydrates.	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
3598	I recommend a 20 minute hot water bath, then a butter massage followed by chopped Italian parsley. We have the facilities available here.	1.1605	0.04797	81	70	9	2
3599	I'm afraid I'm going to have to put you on spud thinners.	1.1605	0.05403	81	72	5	4
3600	I'm writing you a prescription for butter, bacon bits, and chives!	1.1605	0.04797	81	70	9	2
3601	With modern plastic surgery techniques, it's an easy outpatient procedure.	1.1605	0.04797	81	70	9	2
3602	I'm afraid the MRI revealed the presence of chips.	1.1605	0.04104	81	68	13	0
3603	...and you say here that you are a vegetarian?	1.1605	0.04104	81	68	13	0
3604	And have you told the missus?	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
3605	I think your problem is the couch.	1.1605	0.04797	81	70	9	2
3606	And the good news is your tots are in excellent shape.	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
3607	I’ll put you on Ozempic but good to see everything is in the right place	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
3608	I know you have been struggling with your carb intake and weight. I would like to start you on ozempjc.	1.1605	0.05109	81	71	7	3
3609	On your birth certificate, is it Mister or Mr.?	1.1600	0.05383	75	66	6	3
3610	Yes, I understand, with no body you are having excretion problems.	1.1600	0.04665	75	64	10	1
3611	No broken bones, but the x-ray did reveal a nose, glasses, and a pair of angry eyes.	1.1600	0.05037	75	65	8	2
3612	I'm recommending a lower starch diet.	1.1600	0.05037	75	65	8	2
3613	Everything on the outside appears to be fine, but I’d strongly recommend seeing a proctologist.	1.1600	0.05037	75	65	8	2
3614	I’m going to have to refer you to a spudologist.	1.1600	0.04665	75	64	10	1
3615	We can't do anymore cosmetic surgeries	1.1600	0.05037	75	65	8	2
3616	If you keep working at this pace, eventually you'll be fried.	1.1600	0.04262	75	63	12	0
3617	The wingback chair is your problem. You need a couch.	1.1600	0.04665	75	64	10	1
3618	No, I'm quite sure this is correct...your 'One Potato, Two Potato' self-diagnosis is a bit off.	1.1600	0.04262	75	63	12	0
3619	I am sorry, but you have too much starch in your system. You need to go someplace hot and get smashed.	1.1600	0.05037	75	65	8	2
3620	I advise you stay off the carbs. But, I’m a potato.	1.1600	0.05037	75	65	8	2
3621	Again, Larry - I’m a physician. You could easily live a few more months in a cool pantry. As for the panic attacks while passing every restaurant, I can only refer you to a psychiatrist.”	1.1600	0.04665	75	64	10	1
3622	You say "day-tuh", I say "dah-tuh". It still shows you're a potato.	1.1600	0.05037	75	65	8	2
3623	Well good news, you can have tots.	1.1600	0.04665	75	64	10	1
3624	What part, would you say, doesn’t seem to be working?	1.1600	0.05383	75	66	6	3
3625	I'm your gerontologist and it's not a hemorrhoid, it's an extra eye.	1.1600	0.05708	75	67	4	4
3626	Unfortunately you need a full-body peel	1.1600	0.04262	75	63	12	0
3627	I'm recommending a no carb diet...	1.1600	0.04665	75	64	10	1
3628	It's bad news, Mr. Head. You'll be at the Miller's Thanksgiving table, but in a serving bowl next to the gravy."	1.1596	0.04088	94	80	13	1
3629	Nothing to worry about. A little rot is expected at your age.	1.1594	0.04439	69	58	11	0
3630	I'm sorry your new nose took so long. Supply chain issues.	1.1594	0.04896	69	59	9	1
3631	Cut out the butter and cream cheese.	1.1594	0.04896	69	59	9	1
3632	You're cured. Your left ear and right eye were reversed.	1.1594	0.04896	69	59	9	1
3633	This will relieve your bout of mashed potato	1.1594	0.05313	69	60	7	2
3634	...and you said your 'tater tots look normal?	1.1594	0.04439	69	58	11	0
3635	I feel empty inside	1.1594	0.05313	69	60	7	2
3636	It says here you are experiencing anxiety issues over the upcoming holiday season.	1.1594	0.04896	69	59	9	1
3637	Cut down on the starch—oh, and one last thing. Take off your shoes and let’s see how those pota-toes are doing.	1.1594	0.04896	69	59	9	1
3638	Good news is that we can replace the ear. Bad news is you're an abomination and will be kept in a laboratory as test subject for the rest of your unnatural life.	1.1594	0.04896	69	59	9	1
3639	I've lost all my starch.	1.1594	0.05313	69	60	7	2
3640	Do you feel like things are falling apart?	1.1594	0.04439	69	58	11	0
3641	Bad news, your liver is mashed.	1.1594	0.05313	69	60	7	2
3642	I’d say cut the carbs, but . . .	1.1594	0.04896	69	59	9	1
3643	Your glucose levels are off the charts.	1.1594	0.05313	69	60	7	2
3644	I’m sorry, I think I overdid it with todays micro dose - I’m going to have my colleague finish your exam, sir.”	1.1594	0.04896	69	59	9	1
3645	You have an early case of crinkle cut fries, recommend that you butter twice a day.	1.1591	0.04818	88	77	8	3
3646	You haven't eaten anything in the past 24 hours, right?	1.1591	0.04539	88	76	10	2
3647	I told you last time you were here, you'd better do as I say, or else you'd turn into a couch potato.	1.1591	0.04818	88	77	8	3
3648	Now it says here Butter wouldn't melt in your mouth.	1.1591	0.04241	88	75	12	1
3649	And how exactly does a potato grow a moustache again?	1.1591	0.04818	88	77	8	3
3650	There's a problem with the eyes on the back of your head.	1.1591	0.04241	88	75	12	1
3651	I'm afraid I have not training in mustache-ectomy, Mrs. Potato Head.	1.1589	0.04231	107	93	11	3
3652	That's a funny name Mr. Head, how did you come by it?	1.1587	0.05637	63	55	6	2
3653	By your test results you've become a real couch potato.	1.1587	0.05637	63	55	6	2
3654	The pains in your knees may require surgery.	1.1587	0.05637	63	55	6	2
3655	The surgery will be simple, but it may take people time to get used to saying "Missus and Missus Potatohead."	1.1587	0.05163	63	54	8	1
3656	I wish I could say your case is unusual, but we just saw “Weird Barbie” last week.	1.1587	0.06074	63	56	4	3
3657	Could you have arthritis in your knees? I'm not sure that's the right question.	1.1587	0.05637	63	55	6	2
3658	You need to get out of the ground more.	1.1587	0.04641	63	53	10	0
3659	Well, I have good news: the extra set of eyes are completely normal.	1.1587	0.04641	63	53	10	0
3660	Give it to me straight. Spud’s the matter with me?	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
3661	Okay, I suggest a prescription of glue.	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
3662	Good news, the tests were negative on Mop Top, Leaf Roll, Dry Rot, Late Blight, Common Scab, Spraing, Silver Scurf, or Stem Canker.	1.1585	0.04743	82	71	9	2
3663	Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Spud!	1.1585	0.04743	82	71	9	2
3664	In 30 years of proctology, I thought I'd seen everything.	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
3665	I was going to suggest you cut down on carbs, but...	1.1585	0.05050	82	72	7	3
3666	Si señor, I’m recommending PT to strengthen those arms.	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
3667	When was the last time you actually saw your missing arm? And are there any small children or dogs in your house?	1.1585	0.04743	82	71	9	2
3668	This is what happens when all you eat is fries.	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
3669	You’ll be under general anesthesia, but you should know this recipe is fairly invasive.	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
3670	No, we can't test for butter, sour cream, or bacon.	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
3671	I see you’re still confused by the term ‘transplant’.	1.1585	0.04058	82	69	13	0
3672	now, would you prefer being called Mr P. Head or Mr H. Dumpty ?	1.1584	0.04390	101	88	10	3
3673	Feeling empty inside is normal when you’re all put together.	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
3674	Big lips and eyeglasses are covered. Butt augmentation would be out of pocket.	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
3675	I'm afraid you have socketitis.	1.1579	0.04975	76	66	8	2
3676	Instead of surgery, we can just replace the nose.	1.1579	0.04211	76	64	12	0
3677	Oddly, Gender Dysphoria is not a covered insurance benefit....	1.1579	0.04975	76	66	8	2
3678	I know things get boring, but let's not put your foot in the butt anymore.	1.1579	0.04316	95	82	11	2
3679	You should probably cut back on the potatoes.	1.1579	0.03761	95	80	15	0
3680	Bad news, the reconstructive surgery has made you Mr. Potato Head.	1.1579	0.05316	76	67	6	3
3681	You're overworked. Your cholesterol is sky high. You need to start taking better care of yourself. Nobody wants to see you fried.	1.1579	0.04211	76	64	12	0
3682	There’s a specialist I know in Ireland…	1.1579	0.04975	76	66	8	2
3683	Your urine sample indicates you're baked"	1.1579	0.05478	57	49	7	1
3684	The plastic surgery for your new nose doesn't require anesthesia and can be repeated as many times as you like.	1.1579	0.04975	76	66	8	2
3685	You need to get more exercise.	1.1579	0.04975	76	66	8	2
3686	Tell me, how long have you been feeling starchy?	1.1579	0.04048	95	81	13	1
3687	Well, first you need to cut down on the carbs.	1.1579	0.04211	76	64	12	0
3688	You say you were a peanut salesman and then the bottom just dropped out.	1.1579	0.05316	76	67	6	3
3689	Sorry, but it looks like your insurance doesn't cover a limb transplant...	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
3690	I know it feels like your the only one but there are 100 million others with......	1.1579	0.04211	76	64	12	0
3691	Your deeply-rooted anger from no share in the game profits may have something to do with the ulcer.	1.1579	0.04316	95	82	11	2
3692	how did you walk in there and get on the table?	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
3693	Perhaps if you stopped putting on your eyes and ears with pins, you could resolve your headaches	1.1579	0.04316	95	82	11	2
3694	I'm sorry, but your new nose seems to be on backorder.	1.1579	0.04975	76	66	8	2
3695	And cut out starches...	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
3696	Your triglycerides are elevated, but the bigger problem is you're a potato.	1.1579	0.04975	76	66	8	2
3697	The tests indicate that extreme heat will be fatal.	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
3698	Sir,I know it's our best-selling treatment but I strongly advise against the facial peeling.	1.1579	0.06023	57	50	5	2
3699	…and how long has it felt detached?	1.1579	0.04211	76	64	12	0
3700	Well, be sure to bring it next time because we need to get a sample.	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
3701	So it hurts when kids pull off your limbs and face parts?	1.1579	0.05316	76	67	6	3
3702	The last time I saw you you had a nose for it. So yes, it's progress.	1.1573	0.04491	89	77	10	2
3703	Your eyes look better since your last visit.	1.1573	0.04491	89	77	10	2
3704	First, we're going to check my vision	1.1571	0.05623	70	62	5	3
3705	Avoid the sun. You don't want to fry.	1.1571	0.04381	70	59	11	0
3706	I'm scheduling a deep fry with liberal salting afterwards.	1.1571	0.04831	70	60	9	1
3707	You do not want vegetable re-assignment, you just want to add an eggplant?	1.1571	0.05980	70	63	3	4
3708	So, Mr. Marx, we recommend that you reduce your starch content.	1.1571	0.05623	70	62	5	3
3709	I have run all the tests. Sorry, they all confirm you are a potato.	1.1571	0.05623	70	62	5	3
3710	Actually, I think you're too old to be a French fry.	1.1571	0.04381	70	59	11	0
3711	I'm afraid we're going to have to take it out.	1.1571	0.05623	70	62	5	3
3712	Antidepressant ketchup will treat your french-fry envy	1.1571	0.04831	70	60	9	1
3713	I'm surprised you only have 2 eyes.	1.1571	0.05242	70	61	7	2
3714	Sure, you have a mild fever, but it doesn’t mean you’re hot.	1.1571	0.04831	70	60	9	1
3715	I’m sorry, sir, but your condition is definitely going to require a Spud Specialist	1.1571	0.04831	70	60	9	1
3716	I don't have a good potato joke. You've got cancer, pal.	1.1571	0.05242	70	61	7	2
3717	Obviously, avoid the French fries.	1.1571	0.04831	70	60	9	1
3718	That's not how we treat an earache.	1.1571	0.05623	70	62	5	3
3719	Unfortunately, your prognosis involves gravy.	1.1571	0.04381	70	59	11	0
3720	Well, the good news is you've got all your parts. I mean, after 71 years, that's pretty amazing.	1.1571	0.05242	70	61	7	2
3721	You could cut down on the starches	1.1571	0.05242	70	61	7	2
3722	You basically have to be more active and not lay around like a couch potato…	1.1571	0.04381	70	59	11	0
3723	In all my years of optometry...	1.1571	0.04381	70	59	11	0
3724	I’m afraid you’ll never have stem nodes.	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
3725	I'd like you to remove your mustache and say, 'Ah.'	1.1566	0.04689	83	72	9	2
3726	I’m afraid that you can’t have children…	1.1566	0.04689	83	72	9	2
3727	A second necklace? Where would I put it?	1.1566	0.04689	83	72	9	2
3728	I said, "tumors," not "tubers".	1.1566	0.04992	83	73	7	3
3729	Ever wonder why you’re called a fingerling potato?	1.1566	0.04689	83	72	9	2
3730	Consider exercising more. Try not to be such a couch potato.	1.1566	0.04014	83	70	13	0
3731	You do seem a little top heavy.	1.1566	0.04689	83	72	9	2
3732	Good news. The test results say you are not woke.	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
3733	You might want to cut back on the carbs.	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
3734	Sorry to hear that you are suffering from identity crisis after Potato Head brand name and logo has been changed to promote gender equality and inclusion.	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
3735	The knee removals seem to have gone very well. It was definitely a good idea to do them both at the same time.	1.1566	0.04992	83	73	7	3
3736	I'm going to recommend a rib-eye steak, with a dose of sour cream and chives...	1.1566	0.04992	83	73	7	3
3737	You're depressed because your psychiatrist called you a couch potato and then burst out laughing?	1.1562	0.05088	64	55	8	1
3738	So, why do you think we should release you from the nuthouse Donald?	1.1562	0.05554	64	56	6	2
3739	We have dedided that you should go back to being a large potatoe!	1.1562	0.05554	64	56	6	2
3740	Your starch is fine, but your psilocybin’s off the charts.	1.1562	0.05088	64	55	8	1
3741	Your couch potato lifestyle isn’t doing you any favors.	1.1562	0.05088	64	55	8	1
3742	Having conferred with my colleagues, we believe you should immerse yourself in boiling water until the pain subsides.	1.1562	0.05554	64	56	6	2
3743	Just make sure you don't sit on any walls	1.1562	0.05554	64	56	6	2
3744	For starters, you need to cut way... way ... way back on your carbs.	1.1562	0.04523	96	84	9	3
3745	We give our patients options.	1.1562	0.05554	64	56	6	2
3746	You seem put together well..	1.1562	0.05088	64	55	8	1
3747	With you genetic condition, you should avoid walls at all costs.	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
3748	Oh Mr Potato, I told you to avoid the hot tub	1.1558	0.04914	77	67	8	2
3749	I can understand why walking would be difficult for you, but we still need to get you off the couch.	1.1558	0.04161	77	65	12	0
3750	As a maxillofacial surgeon, you are our first patient be entirely made of plastic.	1.1558	0.05250	77	68	6	3
3751	Your replacement mustache will be here in 3-4 weeks.	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
3752	How are your stools? Mashed?	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
3753	I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but … you’re not a tuber.	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
3754	I understand you are a fall risk.	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
3755	Your labs are quite revealing, in fact you are Humpty Dumpy in disguise.	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
3756	This is not the nose you came in with	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
3757	Our tests have uncovered a tuber.	1.1558	0.05250	77	68	6	3
3758	I can’t feel my legs	1.1556	0.04444	90	78	10	2
3759	You lack a heartbeat because of a condition called Atorsoitis.	1.1556	0.04444	90	78	10	2
3760	It’s not your heart that concerns me. It’s your hat.	1.1556	0.04154	90	77	12	1
3761	I'm putting you on the list for a transplant.	1.1552	0.05924	58	51	5	2
3762	I see that your name is Mr. Potato Man. Am I mistaken.	1.1552	0.05390	58	50	7	1
3763	It’s good that you came here— I heard McDonald’s is having a potato shortage.	1.1549	0.05548	71	63	5	3
3764	Let me get this straight: you say there was a famine that turned you into a cannibal??	1.1549	0.05548	71	63	5	3
3765	I recommend rest, relaxation and an oven preheated to 400 degrees.	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
3766	Honestly, I hate to tell you, but you are going to start sprouting.	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
3767	But I can’t turn my head and cough.	1.1549	0.05172	71	62	7	2
3768	You indicate that you have an aversion to being stuck with needles from a career as a childhood toy?	1.1549	0.04325	71	60	11	0
3769	Why don’t you skip the hormone therapy and just ditch mustache?	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
3770	Avoid oil, it will turn you into fries.	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
3771	Yes, I recognize that you are a carb, but they’re still not good for you.	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
3772	Three out of four doctors want to know...how'd you hop up there?	1.1549	0.05172	71	62	7	2
3773	How many times do I have to advise you against storing things in your butt?	1.1549	0.05172	71	62	7	2
3774	I'm recommending you get back to your roots. Perhaps a long vacation in Idaho?	1.1549	0.05548	71	63	5	3
3775	Would rather be eaten with or without the makeup?	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
3776	I'm very sorry but there isn't a slot available to attach that particular appendage.	1.1549	0.05172	71	62	7	2
3777	When did you go from being a meat and potatoes guy to vegan?	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
3778	You’re in perfect health, but the recipe books that you will not live very long.	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
3779	So how long have you been unable to feel your legs?	1.1549	0.05548	71	63	5	3
3780	I think you look better, you definitely don’t look fried!	1.1548	0.04637	84	73	9	2
3781	My best advice is to stay away from walls.	1.1548	0.04316	84	72	11	1
3782	The tests came back positive for Groucho Marx- Couch Potato Syndrome.	1.1548	0.05219	84	75	5	4
3783	How long have you felt so emotionally raw?	1.1548	0.04936	84	74	7	3
3784	No it's not serious, quite the opposite, the extra face I found in your X-rays is smiling	1.1548	0.04316	84	72	11	1
3785	The good news is you're perfectly healthy. The bad news is you're still a couch potato.	1.1548	0.04316	84	72	11	1
3786	What do you think about mashed potatoes?	1.1548	0.04316	84	72	11	1
3787	I'm afraid that in 2 to 3 months you're going to fry	1.1548	0.04637	84	73	9	2
3788	I'm afraid you need a total potato replacement.	1.1546	0.03690	97	82	15	0
3789	No more potatoes!	1.1546	0.04232	97	84	11	2
3790	Your skin condition looks great, by the way	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
3791	I know you wanted a rhinoplasty,but I thought this was funnier.	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
3792	We can offer you a substantial discount on your cosmetic surgery.	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
3793	Bad news, Mr. Head…we need to cut out carbs.	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
3794	We need to eliminate the starch from your diet!	1.1538	0.05750	52	45	6	1
3795	You've got to get up off the couch once in a while!!	1.1538	0.04399	91	79	10	2
3796	Less starch in your diet will help.	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
3797	Unfortunately, plastic surgery is not covered by your insurance.	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
3798	Need to verify your name before we proceed-it’s P.H. correct?	1.1538	0.05473	65	57	6	2
3799	I'm sorry. Insurance won't cover the treatment that will change you into a fruit.	1.1538	0.05186	78	69	6	3
3800	I’m Sorry Mr. Potato-Head but your HMO deems TUBER-culosis to be a pre-existing condition.	1.1538	0.04510	65	55	10	0
3801	Cut out the fries and switch to grains	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
3802	We don't use the word "baked" in this dispensary.	1.1538	0.05015	65	56	8	1
3803	I can confirm with absolute certainty that you are indeed a male. This identity crisis you've been having is not your problem, it is society's.	1.1538	0.05015	65	56	8	1
3804	I want you to cut starch out of your diet	1.1538	0.05896	65	58	4	3
3805	And just how long have you had this fear of heights?	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
3806	I am surprised you even made it into the office today.	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
3807	Well Mr. Spud, we can remove the soil bacterium, but I recommend you avoid sharp knives and hot ovens.	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
3808	If you'll stay away from fats and salt, you could live to be a ripe old age.	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
3809	Tests show, Mr. Harvey, that your legs and abdomen have been inexplicably sucked up into your skull.	1.1538	0.05186	78	69	6	3
3810	No, the parts will have to stay where they are!	1.1538	0.05186	78	69	6	3
3811	You have fries - I mean - five days to live.	1.1538	0.05896	65	58	4	3
3812	Mr. Head, we can't keep creating new prosthetics for you every time your emotions change.	1.1538	0.05015	65	56	8	1
3813	I’m going to refer you to my colleague at the Mayo Clinic. After which I’ll be referring her to a gastroenterologist.	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
3814	You may want to cut back on starch.	1.1538	0.04112	78	66	12	0
3815	You say you're alarmed because you've suddenly grown eyebrows and a full mustache,when yesterday you were smooth-skinned?	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
3816	Time is running short. Luckily, we’ve found a suitable döner.	1.1538	0.04510	65	55	10	0
3817	Just for clarity,on your birth certificate,is it Mr. or Mister?	1.1531	0.03933	98	84	13	1
3818	Frankly, I am more concerned about the moustache than I am about your BMI.	1.1531	0.04436	98	86	9	3
3819	Sitting on a cold brick wall will only aggravate your hemorrhoids.	1.1529	0.04585	85	74	9	2
3820	Does your family have a history of going great with a hamburger?	1.1529	0.04585	85	74	9	2
3821	According to the tests––You have no penis.	1.1529	0.04585	85	74	9	2
3822	Cut out the fries and sour cream	1.1529	0.04269	85	73	11	1
3823	Those recurring chef knife saga nightmares keeping you up at night?	1.1529	0.04585	85	74	9	2
3824	So, Mr Head, when did you notice that your right ear was missing?	1.1529	0.04585	85	74	9	2
3825	I'm afraid phantom-leg syndrome is quite common in your demo.	1.1529	0.04269	85	73	11	1
3826	Bad news. I looked but I couldn't find your torso.	1.1529	0.04269	85	73	11	1
3827	You are going to have to cut starches out your diet.	1.1529	0.04585	85	74	9	2
3828	As a pediatrician, I'm afraid I must say you are about to meet your maker.	1.1528	0.05104	72	63	7	2
3829	I'm going to have to remove your leg.	1.1528	0.04270	72	61	11	0
3830	We actually specialize in full face reassignment surgery.	1.1528	0.05104	72	63	7	2
3831	I can change your nose, but you'll still be the same ol' spud	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
3832	Have you and Mrs Potato Head considered a spud donor?	1.1528	0.05104	72	63	7	2
3833	You're going to have to cut down on your carbs...	1.1528	0.05104	72	63	7	2
3834	And what do you mean by “fear by mashing.” How does that show up for you? Have you tried meditation?	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
3835	Well, there is a lump...	1.1528	0.04270	72	61	11	0
3836	Any way you slice it, it's not good news.	1.1528	0.05104	72	63	7	2
3837	You say eating French fries doesn't agree with you.	1.1528	0.04270	72	61	11	0
3838	We can swap it for something we have in the back...	1.1528	0.04270	72	61	11	0
3839	I'm sorry I have to ask, but how many hours a day do you spend on the couch?	1.1528	0.04270	72	61	11	0
3840	How many Pumpkin Pies have you eaten this Holiday Season	1.1528	0.05104	72	63	7	2
3841	Well just as I suspected your a perfect host.....smoking has contributed to a case of Tobacco necrosis virus A.	1.1528	0.05104	72	63	7	2
3842	The lab tests confirm excessive starch…	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
3843	And please don't go bowling.	1.1528	0.05104	72	63	7	2
3844	It's the extra eyes we should be concerned about.	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
3845	How often do you and Mrs. Potato Head have sex?	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
3846	I don't know how say this but you'll have to cut back on carbs.	1.1525	0.05829	59	52	5	2
3847	Please remove your ears, eyes, shoes, hat, nose, pants and mouth and we'll begin the physical...Paul Jelinek, NYC	1.1525	0.05829	59	52	5	2
3848	Honestly for you I’d just suggest a transplant…click, click and no rehab.	1.1525	0.04721	59	50	9	0
3849	Yeah so the new nose is gonna cost you 10 grand	1.1525	0.05304	59	51	7	1
3850	We can fix that nose in a jiffy. You'll just feel a little prick.	1.1522	0.04354	92	80	10	2
3851	You're never going to get a head in life.	1.1522	0.04070	92	79	12	1
3852	There's always adoption.	1.1522	0.04070	92	79	12	1
3853	Let me update your medical history that your nose has been found but your right arm and ear are now missing.	1.1519	0.05124	79	70	6	3
3854	Right out of the proverbial box, the lack of legs is purely genetic.	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
3855	They lost which part?	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
3856	Maybe lay off the starchy foods and get a little exercise?	1.1519	0.04797	79	69	8	2
3857	The nurse said you want to trade up for a fresher body?	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
3858	You could stand to cut back on your carbs.	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
3859	You have ignored our advice for so long that you have turned into a starchy carbohydrate.	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
3860	Get some exercise and avoid fried foods.	1.1519	0.04797	79	69	8	2
3861	It is ashamed this magazine has nothing better to submit.	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
3862	There's a small problem with your little spud.	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
3863	I wouldn't suggest French fries as a slimming method for many of my patients, but...	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
3864	Have you heard of the ketogenic diet?	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
3865	Doc, I’ve got a headache	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
3866	Well, everything seems to be in proper order, for now.	1.1519	0.04797	79	69	8	2
3867	It seems to be an out-of-body experience	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
3868	I recommend acupuncture to let off some steam.	1.1515	0.04447	66	56	10	0
3869	Why did the potato cross the road? To avoid being mashed! Ha ha ha! Love that one!	1.1515	0.04447	66	56	10	0
3870	Once I figure out how to get insurance to cover this, the rest will be easy	1.1515	0.04447	66	56	10	0
3871	I you should stop eating all those mashed potatoes.	1.1515	0.04447	66	56	10	0
3872	Noooo, I wouldn't worry about the starches if I were you.	1.1515	0.04944	66	57	8	1
3873	You need to cut back on the carbs.	1.1512	0.04535	86	75	9	2
3874	Parts are readily available. You don't need a me to transition to Ms. Potato Head.	1.1512	0.04827	86	76	7	3
3875	How long have you not had any legs?	1.1512	0.04827	86	76	7	3
3876	Have you tried putting on your angry eyes?	1.1512	0.05103	86	77	5	4
3877	Based on these lab results your starch levels are way too high.	1.1512	0.04223	86	74	11	1
3878	I'm referring you to a prosthetist.	1.1512	0.04535	86	75	9	2
3879	In all those years, you are the best version of yourself; unlike my previous patient, who is barely a shell of his former self.	1.1512	0.04223	86	74	11	1
3880	The cholesterol level is a little high, but overall, you're in good shape for a root vegetable.	1.1507	0.04216	73	62	11	0
3881	You need to reduce the starch in your diet.	1.1507	0.05038	73	64	7	2
3882	I’m afraid the potatoes are all in your head	1.1507	0.05403	73	65	5	3
3883	You’ve got to cut down on those carbs!	1.1507	0.04216	73	62	11	0
3884	You can't stay healthy on a diet of dirt.	1.1507	0.05038	73	64	7	2
3885	Well, I did take a Some Assembly Required class in med school.	1.1507	0.05038	73	64	7	2
3886	Well, we can run some tests, but many potatoes your age begin to have trouble with that attachment.	1.1507	0.05038	73	64	7	2
3887	I'm Afraid We'll Have To Examine Your Body Too Mister.	1.1507	0.05038	73	64	7	2
3888	Before you fall, Humpty Dumpty, just let me know why you are wearing a hat and how did you ever grow a moustache?	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
3889	You're gonna have to cut back on the carbs.	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
3890	Your appendix is fine, but your mustache needs to go.	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
3891	I thought I told you to avoid starch."	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
3892	This is definitely a tuber.	1.1507	0.05403	73	65	5	3
3893	You need to cut back on your carbs.	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
3894	So you say that you're feeling half-baked?	1.1507	0.05038	73	64	7	2
3895	Unfortunately we cannot safely remove the tuber	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
3896	So, what seems to be the problem?	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
3897	When did you begin to feel like a Ms. Potato Head?	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
3898	You're allergic to sour cream.	1.1507	0.05038	73	64	7	2
3899	Have you considered cutting back on starches?	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
3900	I want to prescribe you some medicinal marijuana for your chronic pain,but I have to warn you: you might get baked.	1.1507	0.05038	73	64	7	2
3901	If you were your wife, I'd say it was all in your head.	1.1505	0.04310	93	81	10	2
3902	So would you describe your stool as mashed or par boiled?	1.1505	0.04822	93	83	6	4
3903	Based on the looks from my staff, and the melted butter in the waiting room, there’s little doubt you’re a hottie.	1.1505	0.04310	93	81	10	2
3904	I’m sorry to tell you this, but you are a tuber.”	1.1500	0.05366	80	72	4	4
3905	Good gravey Mr. Tater, what half-baked illness have you cooked-up today?	1.1500	0.05221	60	52	7	1
3906	I'm concerned about your carbs and your prostate is the size of a baby red.	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
3907	I'm sorry but the x-rays confirm you are a walnut by birth.	1.1500	0.04740	80	70	8	2
3908	I don’t even have a shoulder!	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
3909	I’m afraid you’ve been banned from the transplant list.	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
3910	No it is not hot enough to bake you,	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
3911	Well, your legectomy is coming along well.	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
3912	We only have one option left to try.…baked.	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
3913	For you, Mr. Potato Head, a nose job is simple. But a leg job is not so easy.	1.1500	0.05221	60	52	7	1
3914	Well, Mr. Pa- can I call you Spud? I am sorry to inform you that you have come down with a serious case of Tuber-culosis.	1.1500	0.04740	80	70	8	2
3915	It's called "spudanthropomorphism", but don't worry. There's an easy oven-based cure.	1.1500	0.05221	60	52	7	1
3916	I keep telling you, if you don't stay off the couch you'll end up on my table.	1.1500	0.05221	60	52	7	1
3917	…and your family history is significant for an uncle with a ‘balance disorder’ ?	1.1500	0.03860	100	86	13	1
3918	You don’t need more tests any more than you need another hole in your head.	1.1500	0.05063	80	71	6	3
3919	Switching from the couch to the chair won't solve the problem.	1.1500	0.04740	80	70	8	2
3920	So, How did you like working with Don Rickles?	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
3921	Mr Potato Head, your blood sugar level is astonishingly high. I'm afraid you'll have to start a low-carb diet	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
3922	First of all,that's not a couch.	1.1500	0.04017	80	68	12	0
3923	It appears that you’re a little blighted.	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
3924	I’m afraid it’s bad news. You were phased out in 1983.”	1.1500	0.04740	80	70	8	2
3925	If you really want the works we can peel away some of your midsection too.	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
3926	Doc, I'm literally falling apart.	1.1494	0.04178	87	75	11	1
3927	I'm sorry. I said tumor, not tuber.	1.1494	0.04486	87	76	9	2
3928	It's your prostate that's enlarged	1.1494	0.04178	87	75	11	1
3929	Your potassium and fiber numbers are good. You only have two eyes, but I can't explain the hair growth.	1.1494	0.03844	87	74	13	0
3930	This new script should help with your weight, however you really need to cut down on the carbs.	1.1494	0.04486	87	76	9	2
3931	So when did this aversion to gravy start?	1.1493	0.04875	67	58	8	1
3932	No more carbs!!	1.1493	0.04875	67	58	8	1
3933	I feel terrible doctor! Women use me as a face pack and then throw me away when their faces become flawless. Tell me, what can I do to keep a woman while maintaining my glow?!	1.1493	0.04875	67	58	8	1
3934	You need a new pear of shoes.	1.1493	0.04875	67	58	8	1
3935	I'm going to have to stick you with a few needles. Hope you don't mind.	1.1493	0.04386	67	57	10	0
3936	You only have two eyes?	1.1493	0.04875	67	58	8	1
3937	You need to avoid oil.	1.1493	0.04386	67	57	10	0
3938	I'm not going to lie to you. We don't provide potato-centered care.	1.1493	0.04875	67	58	8	1
3939	I see you're depressed. Sorry, didn't know the vichyssoise was family.	1.1493	0.04386	67	57	10	0
3940	While both you and Mrs. Potato-Head seem to have come through the accident unscathed, I’m afraid you both will be vegetables for the rest of your lives….	1.1493	0.04875	67	58	8	1
3941	When did you first notice this — what did you call it? — potato feeling?	1.1486	0.04974	74	65	7	2
3942	Blight is common at your age. The good news is that a transplant is as easy as a trip to the market.	1.1486	0.04974	74	65	7	2
3943	Good news: the gender-affirming operation is so easy, a child could do it.	1.1486	0.04974	74	65	7	2
3944	Hmmm... a Full Body Scan is $2900; maybe: $995.00 ?	1.1486	0.04164	74	63	11	0
3945	Have you tried a low carbohydrate diet?	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
3946	Your potassium levels are alarming.	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
3947	As your plastic surgeon, Mr. Head, going back to a potato skin will be expensive and very painful.	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
3948	There's more to your condition than meets the eye.	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
3949	Your proctologist has forwarded my referral to the ophthalmologist because of the eyes he found down there.	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
3950	Relax! 21st century medicine makes most types of surgery very easy for people like you. Well, that is to say, it's easy if you've kept all the parts that came in the box	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
3951	I’m encouraged that the medication is helping you hold yourself together after you went to pieces.	1.1486	0.04974	74	65	7	2
3952	So you're interested in some changes. Have you thought of plastic surgery?	1.1486	0.05333	74	66	5	3
3953	I think it’s time to talk about that low-carb diet!	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
3954	I not sure the best way to tell you this Mr. P., but your lack of a penis 'option' makes copulation impossible!	1.1486	0.04974	74	65	7	2
3955	[ok[pok[ok[	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
3956	Listen Chuck, I know it's time for your prostate exam, Bu I can't go home again and have my wife nagging me about my potato fingers.	1.1486	0.04164	74	63	11	0
3957	Anything else besides headaches?	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
3958	I'm afraid you've been over-baked.	1.1481	0.04343	81	70	10	1
3959	All joking aside, you've got a tumor.	1.1481	0.05003	81	72	6	3
3960	While you can change your face at any time, your carbs are still too high.	1.1481	0.04343	81	70	10	1
3961	Ah, Mister Dumpty, I am sorry that our fix-up operation did not succeed in leg-lengthening.	1.1481	0.04343	81	70	10	1
3962	It seems to me that you have "growing below ground" syndrome.	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
3963	First, we would have to surgically remove your ears…	1.1481	0.04343	81	70	10	1
3964	Overall, things look good, but continue trying to cut back on the starch.	1.1481	0.03972	81	69	12	0
3965	Great news. Your legs are being FedEx'd.	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
3966	It's all fun and games until you lose an eye.	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
3967	are you sexually active?	1.1481	0.05003	81	72	6	3
3968	Well, it's seems that you're just full of yourself	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
3969	Is seems your health issues are all in your head	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
3970	So anyway, the vampire says, “I vant to fuck your wife,” and— sorry, did you want to talk about something else?	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
3971	I’m sorry to have to tell you that you’ll never be a dictater”	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
3972	Your insurance coverage for transplants is simply remarkable.	1.1481	0.04343	81	70	10	1
3973	I’d cut out the carbs.	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
3974	I applaud you Mr Head for not drinking alcohol but I am concerned about you feeling the need to get 'baked' every day after work.	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
3975	Is that your normal sleeping position or can you lie down?	1.1481	0.03972	81	69	12	0
3976	So Doc, your telling me I should add more starch to my diet?	1.1477	0.04723	88	78	7	3
3977	If you confine yourself to a dark, cool, dry basement, like last time, Mr. President, yes, I think you could survive another term.	1.1477	0.04438	88	77	9	2
3978	Oops - these results are for Mr. PoTAHto Head.	1.1475	0.05141	61	53	7	1
3979	I'm going to prescribe 450 degrees, some whipped butter, and chives,.	1.1475	0.05141	61	53	7	1
3980	No - body lotion won’t stop your skin peeling.	1.1475	0.05141	61	53	7	1
3981	I think if we swap out your nose,you should be fine.	1.1475	0.05141	61	53	7	1
3982	You’ve really got to cut back on carbs.	1.1475	0.06112	61	55	3	3
3983	I’m guessing that you’re unable to hang your legs off of the table.	1.1475	0.05141	61	53	7	1
3984	Despite your understandable concerns over what seems to be some alarming physical developments, I must say you're the picture of health.	1.1475	0.05141	61	53	7	1
3985	The CT scan found some... abnormalities.	1.1471	0.04807	68	59	8	1
3986	You'll feel much better once we remove the baseball cap and glasses from your butt.	1.1471	0.05647	68	61	4	3
3987	We'll put you on a low carb diet, fruits and veggies mostly.	1.1471	0.04807	68	59	8	1
3988	We can start by getting rid of the couch.	1.1471	0.05244	68	60	6	2
3989	I'm sorry Albert, but you're way past getting a vasectomy reversed."	1.1471	0.05244	68	60	6	2
3990	You need to reduce starch in your diet.	1.1471	0.04327	68	58	10	0
3991	Your knee pains have no physiological basis. I'm sending you up to Psych on 7.	1.1471	0.04327	68	58	10	0
3992	Well, we can rule out the heart, the lungs, the stomach, the liver, the spleen...	1.1471	0.05244	68	60	6	2
3993	Your eyes are normal. Are you cutting out the sour cream and butter like we discussed	1.1471	0.05244	68	60	6	2
3994	I'm sorry, but your insurance is out of food network.	1.1471	0.05244	68	60	6	2
3995	When did you first start noticing symptoms of an inflated ego?	1.1471	0.05244	68	60	6	2
3996	I’m pleased to tell you all tests came back negative Mr. Harvey	1.1471	0.04807	68	59	8	1
3997	Mr. Head, apparently you weren't happen with your recent nose transplant?	1.1471	0.05244	68	60	6	2
3998	Were you with any dogs or small children when you lost your sense of smell?	1.1471	0.04807	68	59	8	1
3999	I ignored your warning against trying to ovulate.	1.1471	0.05244	68	60	6	2
4000	For the next exam I need you to stand up, turn your head, and cough.	1.1471	0.04807	68	59	8	1
4001	Don't worry about the fall -- just the sudden stop.	1.1471	0.04807	68	59	8	1
4002	With a thin shell like yours, take calcium and be careful not to fall.	1.1471	0.04327	68	58	10	0
4003	Time to tell you what you has, bro.	1.1467	0.04911	75	66	7	2
4004	You’re getting to have to completely give up starches for the foreseeable future!	1.1467	0.05265	75	67	5	3
4005	So, what problems are you having with your eyes?	1.1467	0.04911	75	66	7	2
4006	CT scan is crisp, How about a microwave?	1.1467	0.04530	75	65	9	1
4007	I recommend you stay away from starch	1.1467	0.04911	75	66	7	2
4008	Typically, I could rule out concussion.	1.1467	0.04530	75	65	9	1
4009	You need to get off the couch and be more active.	1.1467	0.04113	75	64	11	0
4010	Alright, Steve. Let's hash this out–when did you first feel roasted?	1.1467	0.04530	75	65	9	1
4011	I’m going to have to refer you to a urologist for that.	1.1467	0.05265	75	67	5	3
4012	Are you ready to schedule your mashing procedure?	1.1467	0.04911	75	66	7	2
4013	So you say you have trouble staying erect.	1.1467	0.05265	75	67	5	3
4014	You need to cut back on starch. Unfortunately you're 80% starch.	1.1467	0.04530	75	65	9	1
4015	Now that you’ve aged, my advice is to be very careful to avoid falling.	1.1467	0.04911	75	66	7	2
4016	No allergies to chives or sour cream?	1.1467	0.04113	75	64	11	0
4017	I'm afraid your life is worth much more if you still had your box.	1.1467	0.04911	75	66	7	2
4018	I would cut back on eliminating non-essential body fat.	1.1467	0.05265	75	67	5	3
4019	I think you should stay away from sour cream and chives.	1.1467	0.04911	75	66	7	2
4020	Seeing your ear-size led me to test your DNA, and, sure enough, with your eyes and ears, you could be a corn-mash.	1.1467	0.05265	75	67	5	3
4021	You really need to cut down on the starch.	1.1467	0.04530	75	65	9	1
4022	Hand over the hat and mustache, and you'll be a woman in no time.	1.1467	0.05265	75	67	5	3
4023	We’re going to have to cut out ALL starch and anything that has starch in it! -Judith Anne Ross Age 89 Wheaton, IL	1.1467	0.04530	75	65	9	1
4024	I am sorry Mr. Potato, but your illness is all in your head.	1.1467	0.04530	75	65	9	1
4025	You have to understand the difference between "great" and "grate"	1.1467	0.04911	75	66	7	2
4026	You need to cut down on carbs.	1.1463	0.03927	82	70	12	0
4027	It’s a small bunion on your foot.	1.1463	0.04293	82	71	10	1
4028	Married, single, separated or divorced?"	1.1463	0.03927	82	70	12	0
4029	This procedure will unfortunately cost you an arm and a leg after insurance	1.1463	0.04293	82	71	10	1
4030	We can’t find your other ear.	1.1463	0.04631	82	72	8	2
4031	I dont know how to tell you this, but you've sprouted an ear.	1.1463	0.04631	82	72	8	2
4032	So Mr. Potatoe Head you can longer get your spud up?	1.1463	0.05241	82	74	4	4
4033	It’s definitely a balancing act.	1.1463	0.04631	82	72	8	2
4034	We've connected all of your body parts with one important exception.	1.1461	0.03765	89	76	13	0
4035	Your inability to have little sprouts may be treatable.	1.1461	0.03765	89	76	13	0
4036	I see you’re leaving your head to science. You have a choice of hashed, baked, fried, mashed or scalloped.	1.1461	0.05191	89	81	3	5
4037	I'm sorry but based on your body mass index, there's really no treatment for your chronic constipation.	1.1461	0.03765	89	76	13	0
4038	Your T levels are normal, so I suggest you try glue	1.1458	0.03912	96	83	12	1
4039	You were put together incorrectly.	1.1455	0.05455	55	48	6	1
4040	unfortunately, you are sprouting	1.1452	0.04510	62	53	9	0
4041	Other than difficulty in standing, do you have any other complaints?	1.1452	0.05063	62	54	7	1
4042	It looks like you are too heavy for your height and you can easily fall.	1.1452	0.04510	62	53	9	0
4043	Sorry. Those new weight loss medications are not authorized for unusually large heads.	1.1452	0.05063	62	54	7	1
4044	With a family history of both french fries and tater tots, it’s imperative that you lower your cholesterol.	1.1452	0.04510	62	53	9	0
4045	In your case a complete facelift can be done as an outpatient procedure.	1.1452	0.05063	62	54	7	1
4046	Normally a head cold isn’t considered serious.	1.1449	0.04269	69	59	10	0
4047	I don’t know how to tell you this, Mr. Potato Head, but that mustache makes zero sense with that hat. Oh shit I DID know how to tell you.	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
4048	Hey Doc I haven't been able to breathe right. I think I've got the flu. (Doc) Try the bigger lips and nose and if that doesn't work come back in a few weeks.	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
4049	When you say you feel “fried,” do you lean more to the French or to the Freedom?	1.1449	0.04269	69	59	10	0
4050	Your eyes are fine.	1.1449	0.05172	69	61	6	2
4051	Good news is: you're healthy. Bad news is: there are many more vegans than before!	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
4052	You need to see a botanist.	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
4053	How long have you been feeling this way”	1.1449	0.04269	69	59	10	0
4054	Any back pain?	1.1449	0.04269	69	59	10	0
4055	I've reviewed your profile, and your diet appears to be a bit carb-heavy.	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
4056	Mr. Head, I have good news... Hey Fran , can you fetch his smile piece.... All of your tests were negative- congrats.	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
4057	"Well, Mr. Head, I'm afraid you will have to cut way back on carbs."	1.1449	0.05172	69	61	6	2
4058	This looks like a temporary episode—You should be back on the couch in no time.	1.1449	0.05569	69	62	4	3
4059	I understand you wear many hats but have your new eyes and nose given you a fresh outlook?	1.1449	0.04269	69	59	10	0
4060	You chiropractor suggests you should try to loose a few pounds.	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
4061	So how long have you been wearing contact lenses?	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
4062	I keep piecing you back together, but you’ve got to exercise.	1.1447	0.04063	76	65	11	0
4063	It's time to start feeding your body- not just your mind"	1.1447	0.04850	76	67	7	2
4064	Hello Mr Boise, I remember putting you back together whenI was a child. How's the wife?"	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
4065	It says here that you're a potato? When did that start to occur?	1.1447	0.05199	76	68	5	3
4066	Your results came back... they aren't ap"peal"ing	1.1447	0.04063	76	65	11	0
4067	Thankfully this disfigurement is only temporary.	1.1447	0.04850	76	67	7	2
4068	Another case of hand, foot and mouth.	1.1447	0.04063	76	65	11	0
4069	Tell me again, how did you get up on the bed here?	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
4070	Yes, but with Barbie, she had knees but they just did not work	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
4071	Once during an operation my patient's nose lit up.	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
4072	You say STI, I say STD…	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
4073	Are thr contact lenses helping you eyes	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
4074	If I could just barrow your ear for a second.	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
4075	Sir, you're missing an arm and an ear.	1.1446	0.04245	83	72	10	1
4076	You need to exercise more. Try waddling at least 1 mile each day	1.1446	0.04578	83	73	8	2
4077	First, I'll need to examine the box you came in.”	1.1446	0.04889	83	74	6	3
4078	I'm sorry, Mr. Potato Head, you have Humpty Dumpty Syndrome. But if you don't sit on any high surfaces you'll be fine.	1.1446	0.03884	83	71	12	0
4079	I’m sorry, we don’t carry that part in our private stock any more.”	1.1446	0.04245	83	72	10	1
4080	I'm going to begin by removing your arms and legs	1.1446	0.03884	83	71	12	0
4081	If you had knees and elbows I would examine your knees and elbows.	1.1444	0.04345	90	79	9	2
4082	I’m mostly concerned with all the small holes on your face and body. It’s as though you were poked repeatedly with a sharp object.	1.1444	0.03726	90	77	13	0
4083	You want a second opinion? You’re also ugly. And stop calling me ‘Hockey Puck!’	1.1444	0.04048	90	78	11	1
4084	Sorry, but you need a great fall before I x-ray you.	1.1444	0.04048	90	78	11	1
4085	Your insurance will not pay for any procedure related to removing sprouts. It is considered elective . I just suggest you think out of the box and accept this decision finally.	1.1444	0.04048	90	78	11	1
4086	Look,Spud, I’ve told you before, you’ve got to cut down on the starch.	1.1444	0.04345	90	79	9	2
4087	Well Don, looks like you have a case of Rickles	1.1443	0.04142	97	85	10	2
4088	I'm sorry to tell you that your water to starch ratio makes you unfit for french fries.	1.1443	0.03875	97	84	12	1
4089	We got your blood work back and you really need to watch your starches	1.1442	0.03722	104	90	13	1
4090	You got your back underneath,so where to jab you.	1.1429	0.04790	77	68	7	2
4091	Your prostate exam came with some interesting results.”	1.1429	0.04527	84	74	8	2
4092	So, the procedure is more simple than you might think...	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
4093	You’re still not getting enough starch.”	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
4094	It's about time you got body shamed.	1.1429	0.05102	70	62	6	2
4095	I'm done telling you to cut out the carbs	1.1429	0.04006	91	79	11	1
4096	‘Do you want fries with that?’	1.1429	0.05102	70	62	6	2
4097	I’m going to put you on a low carb diet.	1.1429	0.04351	98	87	8	3
4098	Mr. Head, I have the results of your spud tests. Your tuber is benign.	1.1429	0.04987	63	55	7	1
4099	So I understand you’ve been suffering from an identity crisis?	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
4100	What these tests show, Mr. P., is that these medical complaints are all in your head.	1.1429	0.04790	77	68	7	2
4101	no doubt, the probiotic gummies.	1.1429	0.04987	63	55	7	1
4102	It appears that the acupuncture has workrd well.	1.1429	0.04014	77	66	11	0
4103	…and your blood tests show, eh…that you have no blood.	1.1429	0.04527	84	74	8	2
4104	We can fix that nose in no time. But it's not covered by your insurance.	1.1429	0.04527	84	74	8	2
4105	Our records show Mr. Humpty Dumpty, not Mr. Humpety Dumpety.	1.1429	0.04790	77	68	7	2
4106	So, you prefer no pronouns? Well, Potato Head you have cancer.	1.1429	0.04419	77	67	9	1
4107	Dr. Quale thinks you might have multiple pluroses.	1.1429	0.04014	77	66	11	0
4108	Longer legs - I'll see what I can do. Leo Lane Petaluma CA	1.1429	0.05102	70	62	6	2
4109	Pressure is a bit high. Lose a little weight. More salad, less starch.	1.1429	0.04527	84	74	8	2
4110	YOUR TORSO DISAPPEARED IN 2000. IT WAS NOT DUE TO Y-2000, BUT A COMBINATION OF EGO AND GRAVITY...	1.1429	0.04790	77	68	7	2
4111	Be honest - how often do you get baked?	1.1429	0.03841	84	72	12	0
4112	As I mentioned before,not everything will fit back there.	1.1429	0.04419	77	67	9	1
4113	Your Fibre is high, your Cholesterol is normal, your essential Vitamins are normal, you are a pare shaped and you present as a little thick skinned. On a personal note, lose the silly hat!	1.1429	0.04527	84	74	8	2
4114	Sorry to tell you this, but there’s just too much starch in your diet.	1.1429	0.05102	70	62	6	2
4115	you have two weeks to live	1.1429	0.05102	70	62	6	2
4116	You've spent too many summers baking on the beach. I recommend an SPF 50 lotion from here on.	1.1429	0.04527	84	74	8	2
4117	Blood pressure looks fine, but you do appear to have turned into a potato.	1.1429	0.04419	77	67	9	1
4118	I've forgotten what happens after I have a big fall.	1.1429	0.05135	77	69	5	3
4119	Cutting down on your bacon, sour cream and butter will help." "But, I can't change your body type, only parts of it.	1.1429	0.04527	84	74	8	2
4120	In this nightmare you are in a steel room, it's very hot and you are covered with butter?	1.1429	0.04790	77	68	7	2
4121	Any changes since your last appointment?	1.1429	0.04527	84	74	8	2
4122	I dream of being fried or mashed	1.1429	0.04419	77	67	9	1
4123	Hate to break it to you Joe... it's Sad Sack Syndrome.	1.1429	0.04987	63	55	7	1
4124	My wife forgot to flip me over.”	1.1429	0.04987	63	55	7	1
4125	I’m a cholesterol shaming survivor.”	1.1429	0.04419	77	67	9	1
4126	I’m afraid you’ll have to cancel your trip to Ireland. I’m sure they’ll be fine.	1.1429	0.05476	63	56	5	2
4127	I understand you’ve been feeling fried.	1.1429	0.04987	63	55	7	1
4128	Looks like you’ve really gotten a head of your self, Mr. Spud.	1.1429	0.04014	77	66	11	0
4129	That's very generous of you. Someone like you makes the ideal organ donor because harvesting is so simple.	1.1429	0.04790	77	68	7	2
4130	You ap-pear ripe!	1.1429	0.05925	63	57	3	3
4131	I'm sorry: we don't have a treatment for "Big Head.	1.1429	0.04790	77	68	7	2
4132	The good news is we do have some new lips to choose from.	1.1429	0.05476	63	56	5	2
4133	I'm afraid you won't fit in our recycling bin.	1.1429	0.04833	84	75	6	3
4134	You have two months to live.” “You are pregnant.” “We have to remove your brain.” “Mr. Potatohead!!” “Is there ANYTHING that could get a response out of you?!	1.1429	0.05476	63	56	5	2
4135	After careful examination we find that you are far advanced on the evolutionary cycle.	1.1429	0.05363	56	49	6	1
4136	So I understand you would like a different nose.	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
4137	I didn’t learn about this variety of tuberculosis in medical school…	1.1429	0.04987	63	55	7	1
4138	I recommend you staying away from meat and chicken.	1.1429	0.04790	77	68	7	2
4139	Who you calling a 'Exam Table Pototoe', 'Doc?	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
4140	Is your skin always this red?	1.1429	0.04014	77	66	11	0
4141	Let’s start with a low starch diet…	1.1429	0.05476	63	56	5	2
4142	Your cholesterol is extremely high. You must cut out all starches	1.1413	0.04256	92	81	9	2
4143	Mmmm, interchangeable parts... I'm recommending an orthpedist.	1.1413	0.03965	92	80	11	1
4144	I need your consent to eat.	1.1412	0.03799	85	73	12	0
4145	When did you first notice your legs were missing?	1.1412	0.04779	85	76	6	3
4146	Doc, I feel bloated like I'm full of hot air & should be in the Macy*s Thanksgiving ? Day Parade.	1.1412	0.03799	85	73	12	0
4147	Just your ears won't cover the bill	1.1412	0.04152	85	74	10	1
4148	Doctor, I know what it’s like to have someone pull your leg… they really believed this!	1.1412	0.04476	85	75	8	2
4149	Something's different...	1.1412	0.04476	85	75	8	2
4150	I'm going to pull on your bits, so don't sue me.	1.1410	0.05072	78	70	5	3
4151	Your potassium levels are fantastic, but the carbs continue to be a problem.	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
4152	You have an inflated ego,dear Sir.	1.1410	0.03966	78	67	11	0
4153	All your new prosthetics seem to be fine but I'm afraid Mrs. Potatohead is a batch of French fries.	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
4154	Your recurrent headaches are due to your small hat.	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
4155	You're going to have to cut out the carbs.	1.1410	0.04732	78	69	7	2
4156	A face transplant will be a snap.	1.1410	0.04732	78	69	7	2
4157	You say lum-bā-go, I say lum-bah-go.	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
4158	Please rate your headache on a scale from 1-10.	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
4159	Don't worry... none of the king's horses or men will be assisting me.	1.1410	0.04732	78	69	7	2
4160	You’ve lost fibre since Mrs. Head ran off with some cassava.	1.1410	0.05072	78	70	5	3
4161	I’ve told you- you’re not a doctor and stay out of my bedroom	1.1410	0.04732	78	69	7	2
4162	Have you heard about type 3 diabetes?	1.1408	0.05033	71	63	6	2
4163	Next time, don't stay out in the Sun so long.	1.1408	0.04616	71	62	8	1
4164	Everything’s fine, but wash those ears before they start growing humans!	1.1408	0.04616	71	62	8	1
4165	So, Doc, are you telling me that daily mandoline use will be the death of me?	1.1408	0.04616	71	62	8	1
4166	Mr. Head, I think you need to cut back on your carbs a little bit.	1.1408	0.04158	71	61	10	0
4167	As your doctor,I advise you to stop getting baked on marijuana. One day you mash someone on the road and end up getting fried in the electric chair.	1.1408	0.04158	71	61	10	0
4168	The good news is that you show no signs of being baked, boiled, mashed, or roasted.	1.1408	0.04616	71	62	8	1
4169	I'm afraid your treatment involves mashing.	1.1408	0.04158	71	61	10	0
4170	Every year you ask me the same question: No I don’t want my eyes lips and mustache carved out…. :(	1.1408	0.05033	71	63	6	2
4171	So you feel like you're having an identity crisis?	1.1408	0.04158	71	61	10	0
4172	You need to cut back on starchy foods.	1.1408	0.05778	71	65	2	4
4173	I'm going to recommend you cut back on carbs.	1.1408	0.04158	71	61	10	0
4174	Your lab results suggest you need to cut back on carbs.	1.1408	0.04616	71	62	8	1
4175	You know what I am going to say, too much starch.	1.1408	0.04616	71	62	8	1
4176	Be wary of authoritarians with clip boards	1.1408	0.04616	71	62	8	1
4177	When you get home, bake yourself in a 300-degree oven for an hour and then call me in the morning.	1.1408	0.05033	71	63	6	2
4178	You are in excellent shape Mr. Potato Head. You should have many happy years ahead of you before you go back in the ground.	1.1406	0.04914	64	56	7	1
4179	I'm sorry, but you must cut out your carbs.	1.1406	0.04914	64	56	7	1
4180	The bad news is we’ll have to remove the growth. The good news is it will taste delicious when fried.	1.1406	0.04914	64	56	7	1
4181	it says here you are a refugee of the Irish potato famine, is that right?	1.1406	0.05395	64	57	5	2
4182	I'm a board certified plastic surgeon, not a miracle worker, dammit!	1.1406	0.04380	64	55	9	0
4183	Yes, the bad news is that it will have to be removed. Luckily, you're an unusually good candidate for a replacement transplant.	1.1406	0.05836	64	58	3	3
4184	The bad news is that you are going to need a complete facial transplant. But wait ‘til you hear the good news!	1.1404	0.04642	57	49	8	0
4185	Prognosis - Couch Potato	1.1404	0.05274	57	50	6	1
4186	Well your blood pressure is fine, but take it easy on the carbs, OK?	1.1398	0.03925	93	81	11	1
4187	You might want to cut down on carbs.	1.1398	0.04481	93	83	7	3
4188	You're eligible for disability, and a plastic version is replacing you.	1.1395	0.04427	86	76	8	2
4189	You're good to go, Mr. Dumpty. Count yourself lucky you live in a democracy	1.1395	0.04427	86	76	8	2
4190	Cheer up, pal. We can't all be from Idaho.	1.1395	0.04427	86	76	8	2
4191	I’m putting you on a low carb diet.	1.1392	0.04675	79	70	7	2
4192	Keep calm, it's just oil for the scan. We save the rosemary sprinkle for the blood tests.	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
4193	And cut down on the carbo loading…	1.1392	0.03920	79	68	11	0
4194	It’s not so much your weight, it’s your eyes that concern me.	1.1392	0.04675	79	70	7	2
4195	Reduce carbs, I am still a human doctor	1.1392	0.03920	79	68	11	0
4196	The good news is that your body is just fine…	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
4197	It feels as if body parts are rattling around in your buttocks?	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
4198	I see that you quit smoking your pipe - that's good!	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
4199	I'm afraid your insurance network only includes toddlers. If the first transplant doesn't take, then we can submit a Prior Auth to see a real surgeon.	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
4200	You're going to have to cut down on carbs.	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
4201	I think you need less starch in your diet	1.1392	0.04675	79	70	7	2
4202	I think you’re problem is too many carbs	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
4203	I believe the size of your head is matching your ego Mr. West. Should I tell Bianca to bring a nice pillow for it?	1.1392	0.05010	79	71	5	3
4204	The test results point to heart disease but they could be inconclusive given the lack of your heart.	1.1392	0.03920	79	68	11	0
4205	AT LEAST ,,, you're a head ,,,of the problem,, hah ha,, just kidding,, no seriously go not a health spa for a mud bath so you'll get used to your burial,,,	1.1392	0.05010	79	71	5	3
4206	My suggestion is that try to stay away from sour cream, butter and chives.	1.1392	0.04675	79	70	7	2
4207	I’m sorry, it looks like Phytophthora. Laura Hedden, Princeton, NJ	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
4208	I'm sorry Mr. Potatohead. You have a bad case of blight.	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
4209	It’s not looking good. You should consider starting a family.	1.1389	0.04967	72	64	6	2
4210	you might have a case of potathyroidis	1.1389	0.04556	72	63	8	1
4211	Getting eyeglasses for you may present some difficulties.	1.1389	0.04556	72	63	8	1
4212	For you condition, I am prescribing another six months in potato storage.	1.1389	0.04104	72	62	10	0
4213	....and I recommend that you wear orthotics in your shoes to help with your spud bunions....	1.1389	0.04967	72	64	6	2
4214	Sorry, Mr. Potato, but it seems to be a very serious medical condition. Your starch and plastic levels are very low and you are increasingly resembling a human being.	1.1389	0.04967	72	64	6	2
4215	I'm sorry, Sir. We've given you eyes and ears, a mouth and nose, arms and feet; we've even thrown in an adorable hat. But our botany department just hasn't come up with any legs yet.	1.1389	0.04556	72	63	8	1
4216	Are we watching our starch intake?	1.1389	0.04967	72	64	6	2
4217	So first the good news. Be happy you’re not Mr. French Fry.	1.1389	0.04104	72	62	10	0
4218	Everything looks good, Mr. Dumpty, so you can get dressed now. Just be careful getting down from the table.	1.1389	0.05346	72	65	4	3
4219	Hmmm, just to confirm my nurse has it right, it’s Mr. Potato with an e. And that you worked with the Quayle campaign back in the day.	1.1389	0.04556	72	63	8	1
4220	I'd suggest cutting back on carbs.	1.1389	0.04556	72	63	8	1
4221	And, how often do you feel like a fraud?	1.1389	0.04104	72	62	10	0
4222	The results are in, and there's no easy way to say this: your dick is a choking hazard for children under three. We will have to remove it.	1.1385	0.05315	65	58	5	2
4223	Cholesterol normal, blood pressure is good... just try to stay away from the fryolator	1.1385	0.04842	65	57	7	1
4224	I believe I already said the Paleo diet's not for you.	1.1385	0.04317	65	56	9	0
4225	I’m sorry, your insurance policy only covers legumes. Now, that said, if any of your dependents happen to be Beanie Babies, I’ll be pleased to treat them.	1.1385	0.05315	65	58	5	2
4226	Your chives are normal but your sour cream smells a bit off.	1.1385	0.04842	65	57	7	1
4227	What NCC bill Which way to get back to Kansas?	1.1385	0.04842	65	57	7	1
4228	Hmmm, those symptoms sound like leprosy.	1.1385	0.05315	65	58	5	2
4229	We need to craft a weight distribution plan.	1.1385	0.04842	65	57	7	1
4230	So… when’s the last time you saw your feet?	1.1385	0.04317	65	56	9	0
4231	So,be careful at the zoo. That’s the last nose in stock and Hasbro says there not producing anymore of that model.	1.1385	0.05315	65	58	5	2
4232	How many times do I need to tell you - cut out the starches!	1.1385	0.04317	65	56	9	0
4233	How long have you lived in Idaho?	1.1385	0.04317	65	56	9	0
4234	We need to get these ego levels down.	1.1385	0.04317	65	56	9	0
4235	It's a mild case of dry rot; just rub it twice a day with butter and sour cream and come back near the holidays.	1.1385	0.04842	65	57	7	1
4236	Of course you are like most people, the brain is an organ just like the heart	1.1385	0.04842	65	57	7	1
4237	Everything looks good, but you’ll need to see an ophthalmologist to check all those eyes.	1.1385	0.05750	65	59	3	3
4238	I'd say you have a classic case of Toyitis.	1.1385	0.04317	65	56	9	0
4239	So, you are allergic to hot oil and ketchup? Also looks like you need to cut back on carbs.	1.1379	0.05741	58	52	4	2
4240	You say, Recurring nightmares of French Frying.	1.1379	0.04062	87	76	10	1
4241	I'd say this transplant has a low risk of rejection	1.1379	0.04567	58	50	8	0
4242	I'd say you have a case of solanum tuberosum encephalitis.	1.1379	0.04379	87	77	8	2
4243	It says here you’re a you tuber…	1.1379	0.05741	58	52	4	2
4244	Do you have an emergency contact?	1.1375	0.04620	80	71	7	2
4245	Good news! We've been able to stem the root of your tubor.	1.1375	0.04620	80	71	7	2
4246	Do you know your spud type?	1.1375	0.03875	80	69	11	0
4247	I asked them to make me a Yukon Gold, but they made me a Russet. Can you reassign my parts?	1.1375	0.03875	80	69	11	0
4248	I'm sorry. The tests confirm your explosive growth is from a malignant tuber.	1.1375	0.03875	80	69	11	0
4249	You've got to get rid of your couch, it's slowly killing you!	1.1375	0.04263	80	70	9	1
4250	Mr. Potato, you really have to cut your carbohydrate intake.	1.1375	0.04263	80	70	9	1
4251	How many time do I need to repeat myself before it sinks into that potato head of yours? Start exercising – you’re getting pear shaped.	1.1375	0.04620	80	71	7	2
4252	am afraid your insurance doesn’t cover this.”	1.1375	0.03875	80	69	11	0
4253	Your X-Ray came back normal, just a pair of glasses and your second nose in your stomach.	1.1375	0.04263	80	70	9	1
4254	I'm sorry,Mr.Spud,but you're DX'd as half baked.	1.1375	0.04263	80	70	9	1
4255	So you say you've been falling all to pieces lately?	1.1375	0.04263	80	70	9	1
4256	So tell me more about this growing third eye.	1.1370	0.04497	73	64	8	1
4257	Actually, because the first case was recorded in Marseille you can tell people you have Monsieur Patate syndrome. Sounds a bit sexier.	1.1370	0.04902	73	65	6	2
4258	Cut your carb consumption.	1.1370	0.04902	73	65	6	2
4259	Tests show you are 100 percent carbs.	1.1370	0.04052	73	63	10	0
4260	You think you’ve been fooling me all these decades? I can smell that pipe smoke a mile away.	1.1370	0.04497	73	64	8	1
4261	Sorry for the misunderstanding. The lab results read "Tuber"...	1.1370	0.04497	73	64	8	1
4262	So you want to find a way to stop people from calling you pumpkin head, is that right	1.1370	0.04497	73	64	8	1
4263	How long have your legs been missing?	1.1370	0.04902	73	65	6	2
4264	You want to get baked, you said? Would you like me to write you a prescription, or are we talkin' time and temp?	1.1370	0.04497	73	64	8	1
4265	We can cross being a 'hot potato' off the list.	1.1370	0.04497	73	64	8	1
4266	After an exhaustive workup, the MRI confirms that you have no body.	1.1370	0.04052	73	63	10	0
4267	Your blood tests look fine, but you will need to cut down on your carbs.	1.1370	0.04052	73	63	10	0
4268	Other than the hat, your fine.	1.1370	0.04052	73	63	10	0
4269	I'm sorry Mr. Head. The test results are back, it is hair and you may not stay in the open food aisle any longer.	1.1370	0.04497	73	64	8	1
4270	According to your vitals you’re running a little hot. So, I’m going write you a referral for a specialist.	1.1370	0.04902	73	65	6	2
4271	Mashed headtotoes	1.1370	0.04052	73	63	10	0
4272	I suggest you buy a new chair with arms to sit when relaxing.	1.1370	0.04497	73	64	8	1
4273	I’m afraid the surgery is necessary to save your bacon.	1.1370	0.05625	73	67	2	4
4274	You are potato!	1.1370	0.04497	73	64	8	1
4275	I’m tired hearing « nuts to you » to all my suggestions.	1.1368	0.04391	95	85	7	3
4276	Do you have a Living Will?	1.1368	0.04129	95	84	9	2
4277	My apologies for the incident with the reflex hammer.	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
4278	My name is not Humpty Dumpty damn it. It’s Mr. Potato head. Now straighten my nose.	1.1364	0.04331	88	78	8	2
4279	I have updated your chart so your pronouns are now potato/potato/potato.	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
4280	I think it would be healthier if you went back and did something that is more in your field	1.1364	0.05666	66	60	3	3
4281	I understand that Mrs. Potatohead is infatuated with Senior Zucchini, but there is only so much medical science can do with a tuber.	1.1364	0.04257	66	57	9	0
4282	I'm afraid you're experiencing separation anxiety	1.1364	0.04257	66	57	9	0
4283	Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.	1.1364	0.04623	88	79	6	3
4284	Your chest X-ray was obscured by your lower jaw!	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
4285	I'm sorry to have to share the news, but the test came back positive for rectal eyes.	1.1364	0.05239	66	59	5	2
4286	I do this surgery all the time, it's a little like making cottage fries.	1.1364	0.05239	66	59	5	2
4287	I need to put you on the No Starch diet!	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
4288	Fruits, vegetables, lean meats, and stay away from starches.	1.1364	0.04623	88	79	6	3
4289	We either cut back the starch in your diet or put you on sour-cream supplements.	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
4290	Deep within I’m chicken.”	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
4291	No medical insurance in Idaho?	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
4292	I won’t be able to put you back together if you sit on a wall!	1.1364	0.04331	88	78	8	2
4293	Where is everybody?	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
4294	Pop off your shoe and we’ll start the appendectomy	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
4295	No vital organs were punctured, but you should avoid pantries.	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
4296	Basically, it boils down to this: you're allergic to yourself.	1.1358	0.04214	81	71	9	1
4297	Onto the results of your colonoscopy…would appear you’re smuggling three toupees, extra ears, a lady’s bonnet & five kilos of Colombian gold. Blink twice if you’re muling against your will.	1.1358	0.04565	81	72	7	2
4298	Looks like you need the potato bug vaccination!	1.1358	0.04892	81	73	5	3
4299	Good morning, Mr. Head. Says here that your wife complains of you never getting off the couch, and at times, you’re just too hot to handle. Sounds like you’re in hot water with the missus!	1.1358	0.04214	81	71	9	1
4300	.... and that was the bad news. The good news is that it's nothing that can't be cured by swapping out some new parts!	1.1358	0.04214	81	71	9	1
4301	Great news! You weigh only one potato now.	1.1358	0.03830	81	70	11	0
4302	I see it says here you don't like to be called Bud.	1.1358	0.03830	81	70	11	0
4303	Yes,after roughly a million times insurance thinks it’s fraud!	1.1358	0.04565	81	72	7	2
4304	I know it would be a bit asymmetrical, but have you tried plugging it into a different hole?	1.1356	0.05104	59	52	6	1
4305	Mr. Potato-head, the lab results confirm what our specialists have suspected all along: you actually have a potato-body.	1.1351	0.04839	74	66	6	2
4306	Your problem is your shoes are too short.	1.1351	0.04001	74	64	10	0
4307	Your carbohydrate levels are off the charts,and not in the way I'd expect.	1.1351	0.04440	74	65	8	1
4308	Tell me, Mx. Potato Head, when did you iniciate your gender transition?	1.1351	0.04839	74	66	6	2
4309	The chest pain will only worsen if you continue to stow shoes and hats in your stomach. I'm writing you a prescription for IKEA.	1.1351	0.05207	74	67	4	3
4310	Your drug test came back positive for cannabis…you’re baked.	1.1351	0.04839	74	66	6	2
4311	So you you think your depression started when your wife gave up potatoes on her low carb diet?	1.1351	0.04001	74	64	10	0
4312	You're obese- you've got to cut out the carbs!!!!	1.1351	0.04839	74	66	6	2
4313	I understand that you have recently had an unfortunate encounter with hot oil.	1.1351	0.04440	74	65	8	1
4314	So you are here for a colonoscopy.	1.1351	0.04839	74	66	6	2
4315	TAKE A 15-20 MIN BATH IN BOILING WATER AND MASSAGE YOUR WHOLE BODY WITH SALTED BUTTER. THAT SHOULD TAKE CARE OF THE LUMPS IN YOUR BODY.	1.1351	0.04440	74	65	8	1
4316	OK, ten fingerlings, ten toes. That's good!	1.1351	0.04440	74	65	8	1
4317	On average, how many hours of YouTube are you, tuber, viewing in a day?	1.1351	0.04001	74	64	10	0
4318	Other than an elevated starch level, you are fine.	1.1351	0.04001	74	64	10	0
4319	You've got low starch and it wouldn't hurt for you to get baked every once in awhile."	1.1351	0.04440	74	65	8	1
4320	Believe me, sir, you are not the only one who's baked.	1.1348	0.04285	89	79	8	2
4321	Have you spoken about this with the missus?	1.1348	0.03641	89	77	12	0
4322	Have you tried going low carb?"	1.1348	0.04573	89	80	6	3
4323	Any knee pain?	1.1346	0.05512	52	46	5	1
4324	Doctor, Doctor Give me the Tater-treatment!'	1.1343	0.05585	67	61	3	3
4325	Yes, the nose job will be surprisingly easy	1.1343	0.05164	67	60	5	2
4326	I advised you to stay off that wall.	1.1343	0.05164	67	60	5	2
4327	Sorry Mr. Potato Head but I accepted too many bribes from pharmeutical companies in the 90s so no, I can't prescribe you anything to '"numb the pain of being impermanent.'"	1.1343	0.04197	67	58	9	0
4328	If you could, go ahead and lay down and I'll give those tots a check?	1.1343	0.04705	67	59	7	1
4329	Have you heard if the keto diet?	1.1341	0.04835	82	74	5	3
4330	Looks like you OD'd on carbs! We will 'fry' to fix you up!	1.1341	0.04165	82	72	9	1
4331	I would consider cutting starch as a first step.	1.1341	0.04165	82	72	9	1
4332	As I said in your last appointment, you need to lay off the starch, eat more green vegetables, and build up muscle in your arms.	1.1341	0.04512	82	73	7	2
4333	So tell me more about feeling you have eyes in the back of your head.	1.1341	0.04165	82	72	9	1
4334	Please see me in 6 months, or earlier in case you have an accident, like a big fall.	1.1341	0.03787	82	71	11	0
4335	How long have you had this swelling?	1.1341	0.04835	82	74	5	3
4336	So the symptoms began after you and the Mrs ate a whole can of Pringles?	1.1341	0.03787	82	71	11	0
4337	The wall’s not the problem.	1.1341	0.03787	82	71	11	0
4338	I’m telling you doc, you should have seen the other toy!	1.1333	0.03952	75	65	10	0
4339	The good news is that you don't have Tuber-culosis. That not so good news is that your starch blood levels are off the chart.	1.1333	0.03952	75	65	10	0
4340	I'm going to test you for something we refer to as "Potato Head" Syndrome...	1.1333	0.04384	75	66	8	1
4341	No, Trump's using that suit"	1.1333	0.03952	75	65	10	0
4342	You’re heads above the rest.	1.1333	0.03952	75	65	10	0
4343	you need more starch in your diet.	1.1333	0.04384	75	66	8	1
4344	I can't help you with this one: “I wish I was taller”	1.1333	0.05557	60	54	4	2
4345	No physical issues; it’s all in your head.	1.1333	0.05023	60	53	6	1
4346	I see a few small eyes appearing on your back, but it's a normal sign of aging.	1.1333	0.05023	60	53	6	1
4347	Unfortunately,nobody nose.	1.1333	0.04777	75	67	6	2
4348	Maybe we should consider a weight loss program??	1.1333	0.05557	60	54	4	2
4349	I'm going to prescribe the "French" diet.	1.1333	0.04384	75	66	8	1
4350	So, what made you want to move to Idaho?	1.1333	0.04384	75	66	8	1
4351	I have good news: you have a disease that will be named after you!	1.1333	0.04384	75	66	8	1
4352	Cholesteral looks good, but you’ve got to get your starch levels down”	1.1333	0.03935	90	79	10	1
4353	Nice to meet you, Mr. Potatoe. I'm Dr. Quayle.	1.1333	0.05141	75	68	4	3
4354	Yes, technically your eyes must be removed.	1.1333	0.04384	75	66	8	1
4355	You’ve ALMOST got a case of “foot in mouth” disease.	1.1333	0.04426	60	52	8	0
4356	Too much starch!	1.1333	0.04384	75	66	8	1
4357	Times are constantly changing and we can reshape and improve your appearance anytime.	1.1333	0.04384	75	66	8	1
4358	You really must cut back on the carbs.	1.1333	0.04426	60	52	8	0
4359	You can visit Ireland once you get your shots.	1.1325	0.03744	83	72	11	0
4360	Maybe you should cut carbs.	1.1325	0.04118	83	73	9	1
4361	I see you're an organ donor. Do you have a preference, mashed or fried?"	1.1325	0.04118	83	73	9	1
4362	Apologies, we don’t have any appropriately sized hospital gowns.	1.1325	0.04461	83	74	7	2
4363	I'm afraid we're going to have to cut out the carbs.	1.1325	0.04118	83	73	9	1
4364	The craniofacial changes you’re experiencing lately may be related to your elevated starch count.	1.1325	0.04461	83	74	7	2
4365	This sex change might easier than I anticipated.	1.1325	0.04118	83	73	9	1
4366	So how's it going with the low-GI diet?	1.1325	0.03744	83	72	11	0
4367	It’s like when the dry cleaners put too much starch in your shirts. You’re too stiff.	1.1325	0.03744	83	72	11	0
4368	You really need to cut down on starch.	1.1324	0.05091	68	61	5	2
4369	I understand that you are allergic to a number of birds and rodents.	1.1324	0.05091	68	61	5	2
4370	Spud, I'm not sure if we have longer legs in stock.	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
4371	Christ, what an asshole!	1.1324	0.05091	68	61	5	2
4372	I feel you have too much starch in your diet.	1.1324	0.04140	68	59	9	0
4373	It's a normal procedure. After surgery you'd still be left with two eyes.	1.1324	0.04140	68	59	9	0
4374	I recommend limiting the use of your angry eyes during Thanksgiving dinner.	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
4375	Just want to give you a heads up about your feet	1.1324	0.04140	68	59	9	0
4376	So. Which part would you like me to pull out first?	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
4377	Lie on your stomach, I'll get my gloves on, and we'll see if we can't find that right ear of yours, ok?	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
4378	Considering your family history, you should not be surprised at a diagnosis of tuberculosis.	1.1324	0.05091	68	61	5	2
4379	So how's that keto diet been working for you?	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
4380	I’m feeling a little detached.	1.1324	0.04140	68	59	9	0
4381	This is what happens when you max out on carbs.	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
4382	You'll have to start avoiding boiling oil, salt and sharp knives. If you don't, it's catsup for you!	1.1319	0.03894	91	80	10	1
4383	Sergeant Garcia, I believe your flaw exists only in your head	1.1319	0.04196	91	81	8	2
4384	Have you tried turning that frown upside down?	1.1316	0.03903	76	66	10	0
4385	I'm sure we can manage your obesity. The inferiority complex might take a little longer!	1.1316	0.03903	76	66	10	0
4386	You’ve got to cut back on the carbs Jerry Zaro Palm Beach, FL	1.1316	0.04329	76	67	8	1
4387	I’m afraid your insides have turned into mash	1.1316	0.04329	76	67	8	1
4388	Mr. Potato Head I would advise you not to go hanging around with Humpty Dumpty.	1.1316	0.04717	76	68	6	2
4389	I'm sorry, Mr. Dumpty, but your insurance doesn't cover any animal support therapy or male home health workers, even the King's men.	1.1316	0.03903	76	66	10	0
4390	All those "is potato" jokes make me depressed.	1.1316	0.03903	76	66	10	0
4391	Your glycemic index is through the roof.	1.1316	0.04717	76	68	6	2
4392	....and go easy on the carbs	1.1316	0.03903	76	66	10	0
4393	Tell me a bit more about this recurring dream where you're being pushed.	1.1316	0.04329	76	67	8	1
4394	Well, Mr. Potato Head, you don’t seem to be missing any parts this week.	1.1316	0.03903	76	66	10	0
4395	My specialty is medical, but I can refer you to an agronomist.	1.1316	0.04717	76	68	6	2
4396	Have you considered avoiding walls?	1.1316	0.04717	76	68	6	2
4397	You've got to get out of Pawtucket...	1.1316	0.04329	76	67	8	1
4398	It’s called S.P.U.D.S…	1.1316	0.04717	76	68	6	2
4399	I have a prickly feeling all over me.	1.1316	0.04329	76	67	8	1
4400	But until you focus on the carbohydrates, you are fighting a losing battle.	1.1316	0.04329	76	67	8	1
4401	Your carbs are dangerously low because you’ve become a couch potato!	1.1316	0.04329	76	67	8	1
4402	Let me guess, another identity crisis?	1.1316	0.04717	76	68	6	2
4403	It's called posteriorus trapdoorus...	1.1311	0.05470	61	55	4	2
4404	What's wrong Mr.Potato?	1.1311	0.04945	61	54	6	1
4405	It’s your ears.	1.1311	0.04358	61	53	8	0
4406	Odd. Your CT scan revealed nothing.	1.1311	0.04358	61	53	8	0
4407	You say your head feels fried?	1.1311	0.04945	61	54	6	1
4408	It seems to bother you to have eyes in the back of your head.	1.1311	0.04945	61	54	6	1
4409	Turns out your impacted bowels have a real simple solution.	1.1311	0.04358	61	53	8	0
4410	There's no easy way to say this... but it appears that you've been baked.	1.1311	0.04945	61	54	6	1
4411	Well, Doc, I was in the kitchen cooking, and I accidentally mashed my knees.	1.1311	0.04358	61	53	8	0
4412	Lets just say you aren't quite strongly put together	1.1311	0.04358	61	53	8	0
4413	I gave you the Ozempic to get weight off your middle, but it looks like it all went to your head!	1.1311	0.04945	61	54	6	1
4414	I will need a urine sample so please remember to bring it with you next time.	1.1310	0.04724	84	76	5	3
4415	So, how have you been doing since the loss of you legs?	1.1310	0.03703	84	73	11	0
4416	Mmmm... To begin, dismember yourself.	1.1310	0.04072	84	74	9	1
4417	I’ve read that this won’t hurt a bit	1.1310	0.03703	84	73	11	0
4418	I'm afraid the news isn't good, too much starch.	1.1310	0.03703	84	73	11	0
4419	It won’t be easy, but you must remove starch from your diet.	1.1310	0.04410	84	75	7	2
4420	Do you go by “Mr. Potato” or “Mr. Head?”	1.1304	0.04576	69	61	7	1
4421	So when did you start thinking you were King Edward?	1.1304	0.05428	69	63	3	3
4422	Have you tried aerobics?	1.1304	0.04576	69	61	7	1
4423	Do you get much exercise, or are you a couch potato?	1.1304	0.04576	69	61	7	1
4424	Congratulations, your wife is having a chip off the old block.	1.1304	0.04576	69	61	7	1
4425	Let's just say,that this year,there will be a spot for you at my table for Thanksgiving.	1.1304	0.04576	69	61	7	1
4426	Stay out of hot water and don't jump from the frying pan into the fire.	1.1304	0.04576	69	61	7	1
4427	In cases like yours, I strongly recommend a bilateral knee replacement procedure."	1.1304	0.04084	69	60	9	0
4428	Cognitively, great. But you don't have a heart.	1.1304	0.04084	69	60	9	0
4429	Sorry, but your health insurance specifically bans carbs.	1.1304	0.04084	69	60	9	0
4430	You have too much starch in your diet.	1.1304	0.05428	69	63	3	3
4431	We need to keep an eye on your spud pressure.	1.1304	0.04576	69	61	7	1
4432	Turns out those skin abnormalities are actually just your eyes.	1.1304	0.04084	69	60	9	0
4433	I can prescribe it, but you’ll have to put your money where your mouth is.	1.1304	0.04576	69	61	7	1
4434	I’m in an interdietary marriage. My wife is a couch potato.”	1.1304	0.04084	69	60	9	0
4435	Let’s first check for any abnormalities.	1.1304	0.05020	69	62	5	2
4436	I think we need to present as something more than just a head, possibly an entire pear shape figure and move the stash above the nose.	1.1304	0.03854	92	81	10	1
4437	I strongly advise you avoid sitting on walls for now	1.1304	0.05020	69	62	5	2
4438	I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix.	1.1304	0.04576	69	61	7	1
4439	Your tuberculosis is genetic. But we can treat your eyes.	1.1304	0.05020	69	62	5	2
4440	No problem, Mr. P. We can easily move your eyes to the back of your head.	1.1304	0.04576	69	61	7	1
4441	Well it’s clear from your family history that you definitely have a high risk related to deep fried foods.	1.1299	0.03856	77	67	10	0
4442	I regret to inform you, you have tots.	1.1299	0.04276	77	68	8	1
4443	I don’t know how you’ve done it, ‘Groucho’, but you’re not a Marx Brother!	1.1299	0.05012	77	70	4	3
4444	It's time to lay off the starchy foods. They're not helping your weight.	1.1299	0.04276	77	68	8	1
4445	Drink more milk to grow your legs and strengthen your arms.	1.1299	0.04276	77	68	8	1
4446	What would you say is you daily carb consumption?	1.1299	0.04659	77	69	6	2
4447	So you’re telling me your ear just, comes right off?	1.1299	0.03856	77	67	10	0
4448	Your blood work looks good with the exception of an elevated potassium level.	1.1299	0.04276	77	68	8	1
4449	Sorry, but phantom limb pain is outside my wheelhouse, so I can't be of much help with that knee pain.	1.1299	0.04276	77	68	8	1
4450	It's highly unusual but you appear to have carrot mildew.	1.1299	0.04276	77	68	8	1
4451	You really need to cut back on the carbs.	1.1299	0.03856	77	67	10	0
4452	How do you want your surgery? Crispy, French, or Crinkled	1.1299	0.04276	77	68	8	1
4453	Just a little background information, what year did you leave your family in Idaho?	1.1299	0.04276	77	68	8	1
4454	Once again, the big problem is starches.	1.1299	0.03856	77	67	10	0
4455	Your chart says there is a history of high carbohydrates in your family.	1.1299	0.04276	77	68	8	1
4456	Your body is reacting to the state of the world is by going pear-shaped	1.1296	0.04614	54	47	7	0
4457	Would you marry DJ Soda Mr. Potato Head?" "Yes!" "Where's the wedding? Rome? Israel? or Mecca?" "Don't know" "How can you say the Canadian Government sexually abused you if you don't have a penis?" "Well, I've attached and re-attached it in dreams.	1.1294	0.04671	85	77	5	3
4458	You need more starch.	1.1294	0.04671	85	77	5	3
4459	So you say, even if you don't have a sunburn your skin is peeling.	1.1294	0.04027	85	75	9	1
4460	Your eye is placed where when you experience this sensation?	1.1294	0.04027	85	75	9	1
4461	I don't care if you are low in calories, you are still overweight.	1.1290	0.04292	62	54	8	0
4462	Well, at least you don’t have a chip on your shoulder	1.1290	0.04869	62	55	6	1
4463	So it's safe to say you're 'gender fluid'.	1.1290	0.04110	93	83	8	2
4464	You'll have to cut back on storing your face beneath you.	1.1290	0.04110	93	83	8	2
4465	No, I don’t think it’s appendicitis.	1.1290	0.04110	93	83	8	2
4466	It will be a cinch to reattach your feet underneath so you can walk upright.	1.1290	0.04292	62	54	8	0
4467	Before we start, can you remove your eyes, ears and nose?	1.1290	0.04869	62	55	6	1
4468	You are scheduled for out-patient replacement of both eyes and nose -- we may be able to save the moustache.	1.1290	0.04292	62	54	8	0
4469	A bit of good luck - you have Aphids. So much cheaper than Wegovy. Come see me when you’re more Steak Fry than Baked.	1.1287	0.03896	101	90	9	2
4470	That set of parts isn't made.	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
4471	I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but it is a tuber.	1.1286	0.04030	70	61	9	0
4472	Didn't we already do this one?	1.1286	0.04952	70	63	5	2
4473	It looks like spudosis but it could be contagious tuberitis.	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
4474	I would tell you to cut out all starches, but that could have some very bad side-effects.	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
4475	As for the root of your problems? Tuber-culosis.	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
4476	I'm sorry, Mr. Potato Head, but we don't transplant legs.	1.1286	0.04030	70	61	9	0
4477	I recommend a low carb diet.	1.1286	0.05354	70	64	3	3
4478	The break-out of spuds all over your body appears to be hereditary.	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
4479	We've identified the cause of your constant pins and needles.	1.1286	0.04030	70	61	9	0
4480	The side effect of over overheating is potentially lethal.	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
4481	I understand you have a phobia about salads.	1.1286	0.04030	70	61	9	0
4482	You only suffer from a bad fashion sense. I mean what is that hat?	1.1286	0.04952	70	63	5	2
4483	Do you have insurance? If so, I think we need to run a few more tests..	1.1286	0.04030	70	61	9	0
4484	Well, for openers, we've got to cut back on the starches.	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
4485	The cure for your blight is tuber ligation.	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
4486	Well Mr. Dumpty we’ve come along way here at King’s horses and men’s hospital.	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
4487	I’m afraid we’re going to have to remove your eyes, ears, nose and hat.	1.1286	0.04952	70	63	5	2
4488	Have you ever considered cutting back on the starches in your diet?	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
4489	You came through the crash unscathed but I’m sorry to say the Mrs. was mashed.	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
4490	Stay away from heights until the medication starts working.	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
4491	Take two plastic arms and call me in the morning"	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
4492	Stick with extra-virgin olive oil and stay away from Fast-food joints.	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
4493	Looks like we've ruled out encephalitis.	1.1282	0.04224	78	69	8	1
4494	There are several ways to deal with the tumors. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew. But I'd recommend chemotherapy.	1.1282	0.04602	78	70	6	2
4495	This may be difficult for you to hear, but we will have to amputate everything.	1.1282	0.04602	78	70	6	2
4496	DO YOU HAVE FEARS OF BEING MASHED?	1.1282	0.04224	78	69	8	1
4497	Well, I can't really softball this. Any surviving tots?	1.1282	0.04602	78	70	6	2
4498	An electroencephalogram should give us an idea what's going on.	1.1282	0.04224	78	69	8	1
4499	Your carbs are way too high.	1.1282	0.03810	78	68	10	0
4500	No, over-thinking doesn't cause this.	1.1282	0.04224	78	69	8	1
4501	Mr. P. everything points to you're just too big for your britches.	1.1282	0.04224	78	69	8	1
4502	We found the source of your migraines, you’re allergic to potatoes.	1.1282	0.03810	78	68	10	0
4503	so, your test results confirm you are and Idaho potato. We have no idea where the shoes, mustache and hat came from.	1.1282	0.04602	78	70	6	2
4504	So let’s see … You are a potato head Republican, right!	1.1282	0.04224	78	69	8	1
4505	Mr. Potato Head, do you have a preferred nick-name like Spud or Tater? Or is Potato best?	1.1282	0.04224	78	69	8	1
4506	Unfortunately, these results show that you're in a mature vegetative state.	1.1282	0.04602	78	70	6	2
4507	I’m sorry. Your lack of genitalia is peculiar to you kind. However you do have an important place on the food chain.	1.1279	0.04312	86	77	7	2
4508	That's right Mr. Potatohead, just have Mrs. Potatohead put it on the other way and no more ED!	1.1279	0.04906	86	79	3	4
4509	Physically, you are fine. Unfortunately, we could find no artificial intelligence.	1.1279	0.04312	86	77	7	2
4510	Unfortunately, the disease has spread to your lower body. We'll need to amputate your shoes.	1.1279	0.03982	86	76	9	1
4511	I’ve never seen this before. It appears that your left and right ears were swapped at age 5, then again at age 7.	1.1279	0.03982	86	76	9	1
4512	I’ve been feeling a little loose lately	1.1279	0.04312	86	77	7	2
4513	First it needs to be reattached,and THEN we can discuss Viagra	1.1273	0.05225	55	49	5	1
4514	We're going to have to amputate. Everything.	1.1270	0.04229	63	55	8	0
4515	My problem with your case is all the moving parts.	1.1270	0.04229	63	55	8	0
4516	Your carbs are through the roof! I need to refer you to a potato specialist.	1.1270	0.04229	63	55	8	0
4517	Je suis rösti."	1.1270	0.04229	63	55	8	0
4518	Time for your prostate exam	1.1270	0.04229	63	55	8	0
4519	I mean, you sort of had to know it was going to be tuberculosis.	1.1270	0.05303	63	57	4	2
4520	Mr. Potato, with these results you're fried. I mean fired.	1.1268	0.03977	71	62	9	0
4521	We can rule out blight.	1.1268	0.03977	71	62	9	0
4522	It’s my left ear, Doc. I don’t know what happened. It just fell off. According to Web MD, it’s leprosy.	1.1268	0.05281	71	65	3	3
4523	Ope, there's your problem right there... you got a bunch of body parts up your ass.	1.1268	0.04454	71	63	7	1
4524	It would be beneficial for you to get off the couch a bit more	1.1268	0.04885	71	64	5	2
4525	I’m afraid you’re salad days are over.	1.1268	0.03977	71	62	9	0
4526	I RECOMMEND A LOW CARB,LOW FAT DIET.	1.1268	0.04454	71	63	7	1
4527	Have you tried cutting back on carbs?	1.1268	0.04454	71	63	7	1
4528	How does it feel to be whole again?	1.1268	0.04885	71	64	5	2
4529	Now how long have you been a potato head?	1.1268	0.04454	71	63	7	1
4530	I can’t help you if you freeze up as soon as I walk in.	1.1268	0.03977	71	62	9	0
4531	I'm going to recommend couples therapy for that issue.	1.1268	0.04454	71	63	7	1
4532	You won’t be having any more tots.	1.1268	0.04885	71	64	5	2
4533	Well, Mr. H, your skin is russet, your eyes are fine ... You should maybe cut back on the butter and sour cream, and maybe not get baked so often. But otherwise ...	1.1268	0.03977	71	62	9	0
4534	Your BMI is off the chart, but I'll take into consideration that you are a potato.	1.1268	0.03977	71	62	9	0
4535	Well, at least we can rule out prostate cancer Mr. Jones..	1.1268	0.04454	71	63	7	1
4536	It says here you ate a Big Mac with DOUBLE fries, is that right?	1.1268	0.03977	71	62	9	0
4537	Baked,fried or broiled?	1.1268	0.04454	71	63	7	1
4538	You need to walk more.	1.1268	0.03977	71	62	9	0
4539	An acute case of identity confusion! How about becoming French-Fries ?	1.1268	0.04454	71	63	7	1
4540	I do have barber, cobbler and haberdasher referrals for the other parts.	1.1268	0.03977	71	62	9	0
4541	Your potassium level is sky high, but other than that, you're in perfect shape for a root vegetable.	1.1268	0.04454	71	63	7	1
4542	I understand what you're saying, but I still think it would be a mistake for me to describe you as being in a "vegetative state."	1.1268	0.03977	71	62	9	0
4543	Apparently Mr. Spud, It's all in your head	1.1268	0.04885	71	64	5	2
4544	The good news is you're all that. The bad news is the side of chips.	1.1266	0.04890	79	72	4	3
4545	I'm referring you to a tuberologist for a second opinion.	1.1266	0.04174	79	70	8	1
4546	Don't worry. Sprouting eyes is not unusual for your species."	1.1266	0.03765	79	69	10	0
4547	I’m prescribing baking at 425deg for 1 hour, and having sweet butter and sour cream and chives on hand before we begin the procedure.	1.1266	0.03765	79	69	10	0
4548	I see here that it's time to check your patellar reflex.	1.1266	0.03765	79	69	10	0
4549	I am sorry to inform you that you are a carrier. You have no flavor of your own.	1.1266	0.04174	79	70	8	1
4550	So,how's the Peloton been going?	1.1266	0.04546	79	71	6	2
4551	I hate to tell you this, but you spoiled	1.1266	0.04174	79	70	8	1
4552	I recommend a healthy dose of ketchup.	1.1266	0.03765	79	69	10	0
4553	I’m sorry to inform you but your insurance dropped you due to your high temperature	1.1266	0.03765	79	69	10	0
4554	Based on your results, I'm prescribinga no starch diet.	1.1266	0.03765	79	69	10	0
4555	You've given up your pipe but I suggest you stay away from mash pits	1.1264	0.03939	87	77	9	1
4556	Results are looking good,but I want to run a tuberculosis test just for fun.	1.1264	0.03939	87	77	9	1
4557	I'm recommending a nose transplant.	1.1264	0.03584	87	76	11	0
4558	Everything looks great. Under the right conditions you’ve got another 500 years before you decompose.	1.1264	0.03584	87	76	11	0
4559	Hmm... still not as healthy as you should be for your size. Still, not as bad as it could be. My advice would be that you stay away from all fried foods -- french fries, potato chips, potato pancakes. In other words... avoid all fryers!	1.1250	0.04820	72	65	5	2
4560	I know it might feel like self-betrayal, but you really need to consider cutting down on carbs.	1.1250	0.03897	88	78	9	1
4561	On a positive note, no knee or hip replacement is indicated.	1.1250	0.03721	80	70	10	0
4562	First of all,thank you for not having a knee-jerk reaction.	1.1250	0.04725	64	57	6	1
4563	Next time, I really need you to bring your legs to do a full examination, Mr. Head!	1.1250	0.04124	80	71	8	1
4564	Now, let's check your eyes.	1.1250	0.04725	64	57	6	1
4565	A keto diet isn’t for everyone.	1.1250	0.04395	72	64	7	1
4566	The first thing you need to do is cut down on the starches.	1.1250	0.03393	96	84	12	0
4567	Have you thought about playing pickleball?"	1.1250	0.04725	64	57	6	1
4568	Jim, have you tried meditating?	1.1250	0.04820	72	65	5	2
4569	I'm sorry, but the only thing I can do is turn you into french fries.	1.1250	0.04492	80	72	6	2
4570	Well... It doesn't look good.	1.1250	0.04395	72	64	7	1
4571	The good news is you've grown to a good weight; The bad news is we have to cut up the starch.	1.1250	0.04820	72	65	5	2
4572	Maybe if you cut back on carbs.....	1.1250	0.04492	80	72	6	2
4573	Let’s take a closer look for any nasty nodules, Spud.	1.1250	0.04395	72	64	7	1
4574	Getting a head can be stressful. Try to hang loose.	1.1250	0.03897	88	78	9	1
4575	And we've cut carbs out of our diet, correct?	1.1250	0.05136	56	50	5	1
4576	Theres... a lot to discuss.	1.1250	0.03925	72	63	9	0
4577	Yes, whatever is causing your headaches could very well be causing those body aches, too.	1.1250	0.05734	56	51	3	2
4578	I’m sorry to inform you, Mr. Head, that due to your lifestyle of sustaining near constant puncture wounds, you will receive a tetanus shot weekly.” Robert Van Brocklin Portland, Ore	1.1250	0.04124	80	71	8	1
4579	Mr. Head. May I call you by your first name?	1.1250	0.04395	72	64	7	1
4580	The x-ray clearly shows the cellular formation of Mr. Stringbean legs and a Mr. Watermelon torso.	1.1250	0.04395	72	64	7	1
4581	The procedure involves some boiling but no mashing.	1.1250	0.04124	80	71	8	1
4582	Stay away from the fries.	1.1250	0.04124	80	71	8	1
4583	Self love is important; lay off the fries.	1.1250	0.04725	64	57	6	1
4584	Any leg pain	1.1250	0.04395	72	64	7	1
4585	I’m afraid you’re near the end of your shelf life for French Fries. I can only offer you a future in Mashed Potatoes.	1.1250	0.04395	72	64	7	1
4586	You can start by cutting down on the carbs but remain hydrated.	1.1250	0.04831	80	73	4	3
4587	The good news is that your appendectomy can be performed with a simple in-office procedure.	1.1250	0.04395	72	64	7	1
4588	The hospital staff and doctors believe you are in good shape but there is a strong suggestion that you get rid of the hat.	1.1250	0.03897	88	78	9	1
4589	I have to say, this is no small fry.	1.1250	0.04395	72	64	7	1
4590	It could be genetic. But watch your diet and no more fries!”	1.1250	0.04395	72	64	7	1
4591	Also, get some exercise--try watching t.v.without using the remote.	1.1250	0.04492	80	72	6	2
4592	I’ve got good news and bad news... the hat can be surgically removed. But it’s not covered by insurance.	1.1250	0.04492	80	72	6	2
4593	I assure you, you're more put together than you think.	1.1250	0.04395	72	64	7	1
4594	My advice to you is to reach new heights and come out of your shell.	1.1236	0.03508	89	78	11	0
4595	Mr. Dumpty, I recommend low walls to ease your falls. The King's horsemen can no longer be counted on."	1.1236	0.04469	89	81	5	3
4596	I'm sorry, we used AI to do your plastic surgery.	1.1236	0.04173	89	80	7	2
4597	Maybe cut back on the butter and sour cream, but you can go wild with the chives.	1.1235	0.04773	81	74	4	3
4598	The diagnosis is that you're really fried.	1.1235	0.04076	81	72	8	1
4599	Well,Mr. Potatohead,your fedora is in perfect health.	1.1235	0.04076	81	72	8	1
4600	I’m going to have to ask you to cut down on the carbs.	1.1235	0.03678	81	71	10	0
4601	I suggest you cut down on the starches.	1.1235	0.03678	81	71	10	0
4602	Well Arthur, I don't think I can help you anymore. You need to see a therapist. You are not a bowl of mashed potatoes, or scalloped ones for that matter. It's all in your potato head.	1.1235	0.04076	81	72	8	1
4603	I think you're fried.	1.1235	0.04438	81	73	6	2
4604	I'm happy to say that procedure to remove the facial features from your colon was a success.	1.1235	0.04438	81	73	6	2
4605	I have this reoccurring nightmare of a french fryer.	1.1235	0.04076	81	72	8	1
4606	I understand now why you’re experiencing migraines.	1.1235	0.04438	81	73	6	2
4607	I recommend a long period of rest on the couch.	1.1235	0.03678	81	71	10	0
4608	So, will your surgery be a hashbrowns or grits procedure?	1.1235	0.04076	81	72	8	1
4609	"The results of your physical are excellent. I'm donating you to MacDonalds!"	1.1235	0.04438	81	73	6	2
4610	Bottom line, lay off the carbs.	1.1233	0.03875	73	64	9	0
4611	No, tumor. Not tuber.	1.1233	0.04338	73	65	7	1
4612	You're a pretty big Peanut - not sure you'll need a Viagra script.	1.1233	0.04756	73	66	5	2
4613	I'm afraid we'll have to take an arm...and the nose...and an eye.	1.1233	0.04338	73	65	7	1
4614	It appears that your knee bone is not connected to your thigh bone.	1.1233	0.03875	73	64	9	0
4615	This flu has knocked the starch out of you	1.1233	0.03875	73	64	9	0
4616	Fortunately, you only have two eyes so you are not toxic and will not need surgery	1.1233	0.04338	73	65	7	1
4617	I bet you have a cozy couch, ain't it ?	1.1233	0.05141	73	67	3	3
4618	Tests have confirmed that you're nothing but a common tuber with anthropomorphic prosthetics, and you don't have health coverage.	1.1233	0.04756	73	66	5	2
4619	You seem to have a fe.ar of falling	1.1233	0.04756	73	66	5	2
4620	It says here that you quit smoking in 1987.	1.1233	0.03875	73	64	9	0
4621	What can I say? Too many carbs.....	1.1231	0.04655	65	58	6	1
4622	So the nurse tells me that your mashed potatoes have been a little runny	1.1231	0.05146	65	59	4	2
4623	After looking at your lab reports I am recommending a low carb diet	1.1231	0.04655	65	58	6	1
4624	There's nothing to worry about Mr. Head. It's perfectly normal for a spud of your age to grow eyes.	1.1231	0.05146	65	59	4	2
4625	I’m sorry. Mr. Poh-TAH-to Head.	1.1231	0.04107	65	57	8	0
4626	I see here that the Missus referred you.	1.1231	0.04655	65	58	6	1
4627	Mr. Head, to 'ketchup' on health was smart, turns out your liver's 'chopped'! We have to fix this, otherwise you're fried! Unlike with those 'spots' in the last visit, you can't 'grow' out of this! Good news though, you can keep your mud baths!"	1.1231	0.04107	65	57	8	0
4628	Spud-tacular results!	1.1231	0.04655	65	58	6	1
4629	The operation will cost you an arm and a leg - it's a good thing you have extras.	1.1231	0.04655	65	58	6	1
4630	I presume you got up after that.	1.1231	0.05146	65	59	4	2
4631	You need to vary your diet, eat something besides potatoes.	1.1231	0.04107	65	57	8	0
4632	Now that we've got you fixed up, please reconsider visiting your grandkids again.	1.1231	0.04107	65	57	8	0
4633	For one thing, I think potatoes are supposed to have more than two eyes.	1.1231	0.04655	65	58	6	1
4634	You'll need to speak with the broccoli out front about that.	1.1231	0.04655	65	58	6	1
4635	I understand, but the fact that you are a tuber does not make you a “natural born content creator”	1.1228	0.05636	57	52	3	2
4636	I see your restless leg problem has gone away.	1.1228	0.04386	57	50	7	0
4637	Now Mr. Potato head, considering your diabetes, don't you think you might be eating too many carbs?	1.1228	0.04386	57	50	7	0
4638	I recommend that you should see an ophthalmologist for a consult.	1.1220	0.04029	82	73	8	1
4639	Are you worried about being fried or baked?	1.1220	0.03636	82	72	10	0
4640	This may be hard to hear. The blood work came back positive. You're hollow.	1.1220	0.03636	82	72	10	0
4641	Diet and exercise will help more than a smaller nose if you want to avoid becoming french fries.	1.1220	0.04029	82	73	8	1
4642	I don't think a bathing suit will help.	1.1220	0.03636	82	72	10	0
4643	Look, I wouldn't worry. You got here without shins.	1.1220	0.04387	82	74	6	2
4644	Don't take it personal when people call you a 'nobody'.	1.1220	0.04029	82	73	8	1
4645	You're going to have to lay off the carbs.	1.1216	0.04282	74	66	7	1
4646	I recommend that you get an eye exam right away	1.1216	0.04695	74	67	5	2
4647	No, french fries, hash browns, chips, and mashed is not a balanced diet.	1.1216	0.03825	74	65	9	0
4648	I’m sure I am not the first to tell you cut out the starch!	1.1216	0.04282	74	66	7	1
4649	As for your diet, Mr. Head, cut out all starches.	1.1216	0.03825	74	65	9	0
4650	So how can I help you, Mr. Au Gratin ... I mean Mr. Augustine?	1.1216	0.04695	74	67	5	2
4651	I'm not sure that carb-free will work for you.	1.1216	0.04282	74	66	7	1
4652	Mr. Potato? Or is it Mr. Potato?	1.1216	0.04282	74	66	7	1
4653	Looks like your drinking plenty of water but your starch levels are through the roof........	1.1216	0.03825	74	65	9	0
4654	Sorry about the cancer diagnosis - I couldn’t help pulling your leg.	1.1216	0.04282	74	66	7	1
4655	I'm sorry to say, it's "aging".	1.1216	0.04282	74	66	7	1
4656	Congratulations! It looks like you already know that your latest lab results show strong blight-resistance.	1.1216	0.03825	74	65	9	0
4657	Have you tied limiting carbohydrates?	1.1216	0.03825	74	65	9	0
4658	Your blood panels indicate very high starch level	1.1216	0.04282	74	66	7	1
4659	Stay away from butter. David Brown, Pittsburgh, PA	1.1216	0.04282	74	66	7	1
4660	The good news is you're still under warranty.	1.1216	0.04695	74	67	5	2
4661	Apples,yes. Strawberries,fine. Just stay off the pears.	1.1216	0.04282	74	66	7	1
4662	Your desquamation level is looking much better!	1.1212	0.04048	66	58	8	0
4663	They called me mad, said I was defying god’s order, a modern Prometheus, but I showed them. I showed them all. I’ve used science to create a white Mr. Potatohead.	1.1212	0.04588	66	59	6	1
4664	Good news: We can treat your spud issues. Bad news: Your insurance only covers french fries.	1.1212	0.04588	66	59	6	1
4665	No. Seriously. You really need to avoid saturated fats.	1.1212	0.05071	66	60	4	2
4666	Yes, there is “baked” that requires marijuana.	1.1212	0.04048	66	58	8	0
4667	Mr Potato Head, “the tests show too much starch in your system. Eat more chicken!”	1.1212	0.04048	66	58	8	0
4668	Well, big surprise - your carbohydrate levels are through the roof. Again.	1.1212	0.04588	66	59	6	1
4669	I’ve tried growing a big one like that, but I always forget and lop it off while shaving. But enough about noses.	1.1212	0.04588	66	59	6	1
4670	I see that you’ve been falling apart lately.	1.1212	0.04048	66	58	8	0
4671	Sure, we can try a lap band, but in you that’s not an easy surgery. Have you heard of Ozempic?	1.1212	0.04588	66	59	6	1
4672	You really should cut down on your starches.	1.1212	0.04048	66	58	8	0
4673	The bad news is, estrogen won’t help your transition progress, but the good news is, all you actually have to do is remove your mustache.	1.1212	0.04588	66	59	6	1
4674	The issue is your ankle bone is connected to your hip bone, when the ankle bone should be connected to the leg bone. The leg bone should be connected to the knee bone. The knee bone connected to the thigh bone and then the thigh bone to the hip bone.	1.1212	0.04588	66	59	6	1
4675	Your results came back and it looks like we've found an alarming number of additional appendages growing inside of you... and also facial hair.	1.1212	0.04048	66	58	8	0
4676	The ENT physician said he won't see you so I'm writing a referral to a plastic surgeon.	1.1212	0.04588	66	59	6	1
4677	Frankly, I don't even know where to start.	1.1212	0.04588	66	59	6	1
4678	Doctor: "You have eyes in the back of your head?"	1.1212	0.04048	66	58	8	0
4679	These test results are actually Mister PoTAHto's, but, ya know...	1.1207	0.04967	58	52	5	1
4680	What a horrible thing for them to say. No sir, you are not rotten.	1.1207	0.04315	58	51	7	0
4681	I think you've been watching too much TV.	1.1207	0.04967	58	52	5	1
4682	How often are your feelings mashed-up?	1.1207	0.04315	58	51	7	0
4683	David Remnick '81, I can smell your cunt!	1.1205	0.03983	83	74	8	1
4684	You can call me Dr. Spud. I'm the new Meditater on staff here. We're going to peel back those layers, get to the root of the problem and get you grounded once more. No more feeling like a couch potato for you, my friend.	1.1205	0.03983	83	74	8	1
4685	Mr. Head, it says here you've been recently losing then regaining limbs...is this correct?	1.1205	0.03595	83	73	10	0
4686	Unfortunately you can't detach tumours.	1.1205	0.03983	83	74	8	1
4687	I'm afraid it's your stolons. They'll be no more tots for you.	1.1205	0.03983	83	74	8	1
4688	The tests are showing that your head is severely enlarged, and seems to be made of a fibrous substance.	1.1205	0.04336	83	75	6	2
4689	Did you say that you are depressed because your family objects to your relationship with a Southern Yam?	1.1205	0.03595	83	73	10	0
4690	"It says here your name is Dicktator"	1.1205	0.03983	83	74	8	1
4691	The good news is that the CHIPS Act will pay for this visit. The bad news is...	1.1200	0.04228	75	67	7	1
4692	I’m going to have to refer you to ear, nose and throat.	1.1200	0.04634	75	68	5	2
4693	I'm afraid I have bad news - you're a potato.	1.1200	0.04634	75	68	5	2
4694	I'm sorry but there is still no procedure for reverse, double leg amputation.	1.1200	0.04634	75	68	5	2
4695	Mr…Head. Your lab results are in and actually, your whole body is a potato.	1.1200	0.04228	75	67	7	1
4696	Let's try adding some gluten to your diet.	1.1200	0.04228	75	67	7	1
4697	Per Hasbro, I am no longer permitted to address you as Mr. Potato Head. How about Spud?	1.1200	0.03778	75	66	9	0
4698	All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t help me lose weight.	1.1200	0.04634	75	68	5	2
4699	So, just to confirm: swap out the nose, turn eyebrows upside-down, and a skin peel...	1.1200	0.04228	75	67	7	1
4700	Remember, no high risk activity. And watch your back, which shouldn't be too hard for you.	1.1200	0.03778	75	66	9	0
4701	The X-ray confirms what you feared about your glasses. Are you sure you don't know how they got in there?	1.1200	0.04634	75	68	5	2
4702	Test results show you should cut back on your starch and carbohydrates.	1.1196	0.03401	92	81	11	0
4703	Your chart says you’ve been experiencing performance issue when in presence of a man name Andy. Tell me more.	1.1196	0.04043	92	83	7	2
4704	Your potassium is high but other than that you're healthy as a horse Mr. Selleck.	1.1194	0.04998	67	61	4	2
4705	What shape were you?	1.1194	0.03991	67	59	8	0
4706	I'm sorry you're suffering from blight, but there's a bunch of very hungry Irish people outside.	1.1194	0.04523	67	60	6	1
4707	Well, Mr. Dumpty…when did you first notice your phobia for walls?	1.1194	0.03991	67	59	8	0
4708	It’s the truffled frites again, Mr. P. They’re irresistible.”	1.1194	0.03991	67	59	8	0
4709	I’m afraid you’ve got COPD, Chronic Optimist Potato Disease.	1.1194	0.04523	67	60	6	1
4710	So, Mr. Rickles, have you ever been to Ireland?	1.1194	0.04523	67	60	6	1
4711	Your "Mr Potato Head" syndrome can be treat by joining the "I hate plastic" club.	1.1194	0.04998	67	61	4	2
4712	You are in fairly good shape for a no-leg, skinny-arm, bug-eyed Potato	1.1194	0.04523	67	60	6	1
4713	I recommend you cut back on starchy foods.	1.1194	0.04523	67	60	6	1
4714	I recommend a facial peel with a salt scrub and light oil. Follow up with butter balm.	1.1194	0.03991	67	59	8	0
4715	''Nice try Mr Dumpty, but you're still just an egg head"	1.1194	0.03991	67	59	8	0
4716	Still no torso, but you should be fine.	1.1194	0.04523	67	60	6	1
4717	I'm sorry. Your insurance doesn't cover curly.	1.1194	0.03991	67	59	8	0
4718	Unfortunately there are no words to cure the potato head blues.	1.1190	0.03938	84	75	8	1
4719	By taking one more dose of Ozempic, you’ll be a French fry	1.1190	0.03938	84	75	8	1
4720	It's nothing more than a head cold. Make that a Potato Head cold.	1.1186	0.05451	59	54	3	2
4721	Mr. Mackenzie, please confirm your first name is Spuds?	1.1184	0.04175	76	68	7	1
4722	I could knock the starch out of you but you would still end up scalloped.	1.1184	0.03731	76	67	9	0
4723	In your present condition, I think reliance on the king’s men and their horses is an unwise risk.	1.1184	0.04175	76	68	7	1
4724	You're a little under weight. This calls for a starch binge.	1.1184	0.04175	76	68	7	1
4725	Your definitely going to have to cut back on starch if you want to lose weight	1.1184	0.03731	76	67	9	0
4726	Mr. Head, your portion sizes aren't what worries me. You're phasing in legumes, cutting down on carbs, that's all wonderful! It's your proportion sizes that have me concerned.	1.1184	0.03731	76	67	9	0
4727	Have you noticed any changes to your body since your last visit?	1.1184	0.03731	76	67	9	0
4728	Nothing to worry about. You're just fried.	1.1184	0.04175	76	68	7	1
4729	Yes,Mr. P.,there does seem to be a problem with your eyes.	1.1184	0.03731	76	67	9	0
4730	I'm putting you on an extra-low carbohydrate diet.	1.1184	0.04175	76	68	7	1
4731	Labs show that once again, it's all about the carbs.	1.1184	0.04175	76	68	7	1
4732	And how much buccal fat were you looking to lose?	1.1184	0.04175	76	68	7	1
4733	The procedure is simple. BPA free parts are the challenge"	1.1184	0.04175	76	68	7	1
4734	I recommend cutting back a bit on your starches.	1.1184	0.04175	76	68	7	1
4735	Well, Mr. P., you need to cut down on carbs.	1.1184	0.04175	76	68	7	1
4736	When did you first notice your eyes starting to protrude?	1.1184	0.04576	76	69	5	2
4737	So tell me, how have you fared with the young ones recently?	1.1184	0.03731	76	67	9	0
4738	The dizziness is definitely from the high fever but also from being tossed around so much.	1.1184	0.04175	76	68	7	1
4739	Avoid salt, fat, and being julienned.	1.1176	0.04238	85	77	6	2
4740	Bad news: Don Rickles died.	1.1176	0.04459	68	61	6	1
4741	Your treatment option which involves the least chance of complications is an air fryer.	1.1176	0.03936	68	60	8	0
4742	Oh, no insurance? Don't worry, we also accept 'potato' chips!	1.1176	0.04459	68	61	6	1
4743	I'm sorry to tell you that your potassium levels are quite high"	1.1176	0.03936	68	60	8	0
4744	- Your name? - Potato Head. - Sex? - Good question.	1.1176	0.03515	85	75	10	0
4745	I’m sorry, but I’m a leg doctor.	1.1176	0.03515	85	75	10	0
4746	No you can't, but I can attach a pair.	1.1176	0.04459	68	61	6	1
4747	We can’t tell if you’re sweet or from the Yukon	1.1176	0.03893	85	76	8	1
4748	There's no way you can come back as a zucchini even if we plant your eyes in Little Italy.	1.1176	0.03893	85	76	8	1
4749	'Good morning, I see that this is our third medical appointment together, how do you feel today ?' 'Well, I don't really know, I've been feeling a bit down lately. I don't feel like going out or doing anything: kind of like a couch potato.'	1.1176	0.04459	68	61	6	1
4750	good news, it's common spuditis not covid"	1.1176	0.04459	68	61	6	1
4751	Well Mr. Russet, all your parts appear to be in the right place.	1.1176	0.03893	85	76	8	1
4752	I know it won't be easy, but you have to cut out carbs.	1.1176	0.03936	68	60	8	0
4753	It seems you’ve dislocated your shoulder, leg, nose, ear…..	1.1176	0.03936	68	60	8	0
4754	Finally you need to avoid becoming fried food.	1.1176	0.03893	85	76	8	1
4755	I want to hear about your anxiety issues, but first, tell me if you feel safe in your home	1.1176	0.03936	68	60	8	0
4756	I know you have lost your will to live, but you must stay strong for Chip and Stix.	1.1176	0.03936	68	60	8	0
4757	As a celebrity, you quality to actually fill this otherwise-symbolic Ozempic prescription.	1.1176	0.03515	85	75	10	0
4758	I have three new eyes since yesterday. Is that normal at my age?	1.1176	0.04459	68	61	6	1
4759	Neck pain, you reckon?	1.1176	0.04459	68	61	6	1
4760	Have you tried chia seeds?	1.1176	0.05348	51	46	4	1
4761	I think you need to lose the mustache.	1.1170	0.03660	94	84	9	1
4762	Sorry you’re no longer a stud spud, now about these test results	1.1170	0.03660	94	84	9	1
4763	Unfortunately, the blue pill doesn’t address French fry dysfunction.	1.1169	0.04882	77	71	3	3
4764	In my professional opinion, you are both fat and ugly.	1.1169	0.04123	77	69	7	1
4765	Sit in the couch Mr. Potato	1.1169	0.03685	77	68	9	0
4766	No hip replacement, but I can get you a new hat.	1.1169	0.03685	77	68	9	0
4767	No, no, you just need to hydrate and get more sleep.	1.1169	0.04882	77	71	3	3
4768	As I Suspected, Mr. Potato Head, your glycemic index is off the charts!	1.1169	0.04123	77	69	7	1
4769	I think we can rule out tendonitis.	1.1167	0.04179	60	53	7	0
4770	It looks like you have a touch of the blight	1.1167	0.04808	60	54	5	1
4771	I have your diagnosis: "missing leg syndrome"	1.1163	0.03850	86	77	8	1
4772	Your obvious problem is too many carbs.	1.1163	0.03850	86	77	8	1
4773	It boils down to you are what you eat.	1.1163	0.04191	86	78	6	2
4774	What brings you in today, Mr. Couch?	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
4775	It says here that you requested amputation?	1.1159	0.04397	69	62	6	1
4776	You need to cut back on carbs	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
4777	Come now, Mr. P. At your age, your health is nothing to play around with.	1.1159	0.04397	69	62	6	1
4778	I’d say “cut down a bit on the carbs” but you are a carb.	1.1159	0.04858	69	63	4	2
4779	Would you consider the trampoline?	1.1159	0.04858	69	63	4	2
4780	Arthratis, arthrItis - let's call the whole thing off! Like 50 pounds off for the sake of your knees, Mister PatAHto Head!	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
4781	Your spuds and root look fine. It's your black spot I'm worried about.	1.1159	0.04397	69	62	6	1
4782	You need to work harder at getting the sour cream out of your ear canals.	1.1159	0.04397	69	62	6	1
4783	Certainly. I understand. Your script, Ms Head: “Appendages; female, full set”	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
4784	You're having a hard time seeing, but your glasses always fall off?	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
4785	We see this all the time in potato themed toys.	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
4786	Turns out your sexual dysfunction is due to a potato allergy.	1.1159	0.04858	69	63	4	2
4787	Sorry your diagnosis is mashed potato brain	1.1159	0.04397	69	62	6	1
4788	I want you to cut back on starch.	1.1159	0.04397	69	62	6	1
4789	I'm referring you to a specialist. I want you to go see a farmer.	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
4790	If we are what we eat, you sir, are a cannibal.	1.1159	0.04397	69	62	6	1
4791	It seems you have some blockage in your storage compartment.	1.1159	0.04858	69	63	4	2
4792	I am afraid you have two STDs, a Spud Transmitted Disease, you have Gonorussetrea and sourcreamlydia.	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
4793	Those spuds are really clearing up!	1.1158	0.03624	95	85	9	1
4794	Your proctologist called in with some very interesting results	1.1158	0.03921	95	86	7	2
4795	This is the first time I have interviewed a couch potato and it is certainly a heads up.	1.1154	0.04073	78	70	7	1
4796	I'm sorry, Mr. Potato head but the mustache surgery is irreversible.	1.1154	0.04073	78	70	7	1
4797	Mashed, baked or fried…just quit while you’re ahead!	1.1154	0.03641	78	69	9	0
4798	I think I have a fear of heights, doc.	1.1154	0.04073	78	70	7	1
4799	Now, let's take a look at that prostate.	1.1154	0.04073	78	70	7	1
4800	Have you fallen in the last three months?	1.1154	0.03641	78	69	9	0
4801	Ah Mr. Head, no problems with your knees, right?	1.1154	0.04463	78	71	5	2
4802	For your dysfunction, I recommend the use of an off-brand add-on.	1.1154	0.04463	78	71	5	2
4803	I'd like to do a kidney transplant, but my daughter has lost all of those little pieces.	1.1154	0.04073	78	70	7	1
4804	Your weight is over the spud limit !	1.1149	0.03808	87	78	8	1
4805	I'd prescribe sun,but I'm afraid you might just sprout more.	1.1148	0.04732	61	55	5	1
4806	Former smoker?	1.1148	0.04732	61	55	5	1
4807	With those parts, you'll never need invasive surgery.	1.1148	0.04115	61	54	7	0
4808	How is the carnivore diet working out for you?	1.1148	0.04732	61	55	5	1
4809	Would you like to see my impression of Jeremy Irons doing his impression of Claus von Bülow doing his impression of Queen Victoria?	1.1148	0.05278	61	56	3	2
4810	Just as we suspected...you're gonna have to watch the carbs.	1.1148	0.04115	61	54	7	0
4811	If you don't start dieting now, you are going to get mashed.	1.1148	0.05278	61	56	3	2
4812	Well everything appears to be in the right place, but you’re still very high in starch.	1.1148	0.04732	61	55	5	1
4813	Yes, it was completely successful! We also found a set of keys, a left sock, a heart ring and a bubblegum wrapper. Would you like a carry out, or for me to put those items back?	1.1148	0.04732	61	55	5	1
4814	I’m afraid you’re falling apart piece by piece. -Taylor S Boston, Massachusetts	1.1143	0.03830	70	62	8	0
4815	Life expectancy not as good for gourd shaped folks.	1.1143	0.04791	70	64	4	2
4816	In medical terms we call your condition a 'mash-up' due to all the mishmash conditions you exhibit.	1.1143	0.04337	70	63	6	1
4817	It’s not common, but you are suffering from potato head.	1.1143	0.03830	70	62	8	0
4818	You need to cut down on your carbs.	1.1143	0.04337	70	63	6	1
4819	I suggest switching to a keto diet.	1.1143	0.04337	70	63	6	1
4820	When did you say you were you last exposed to the Colorado Potato Beetle?	1.1143	0.04337	70	63	6	1
4821	Surgery is a radical option to be able to identify as a carrot.	1.1143	0.04337	70	63	6	1
4822	I’m sorry, but did you say your ‘Lil Tator’ fell off?	1.1143	0.04337	70	63	6	1
4823	Sir,how am I supposed to believe you only have 3 drinks a week when you also say you got up on that table all by yourself?	1.1143	0.04337	70	63	6	1
4824	I'll need you to remove your hat...	1.1143	0.03830	70	62	8	0
4825	...and it wouldn't hurt to cut back on the fries.	1.1143	0.04791	70	64	4	2
4826	I’m all out of noses, you’ll have to make this one work.	1.1143	0.03830	70	62	8	0
4827	You're in good company -- Hemingway wrote a whole book about it.	1.1143	0.04337	70	63	6	1
4828	You’re doing well! The cholesterol and sodium are zero. Plus, you’re fat free. Stay away from the French Fries.	1.1143	0.03830	70	62	8	0
4829	Sorry, we can't add that part. You're going to have to propagate the old-fashioned way.	1.1143	0.04337	70	63	6	1
4830	They don't draw hats any larger!	1.1143	0.03830	70	62	8	0
4831	I’m sorry, I can’t treat your ED— you’ve got a missing part.	1.1143	0.04337	70	63	6	1
4832	Your manufacturer says hip replaement is not an option.	1.1143	0.04791	70	64	4	2
4833	According to these charts your nose and ears look totally different than last year. You’re like a new man.	1.1143	0.04791	70	64	4	2
4834	The good news is, your head is fine…	1.1143	0.04337	70	63	6	1
4835	Your owner takes good care of your eyes; ears; mouth; etc! Your styrofoam grandparents were usually trashed in a week!	1.1139	0.03597	79	70	9	0
4836	You're in good shape for your age, but you should stay away from the French Fries.	1.1139	0.04023	79	71	7	1
4837	How do you spell your name: Geraldo or Geraldoe?"	1.1139	0.04762	79	73	3	3
4838	I recommend sour cream and chives	1.1139	0.04023	79	71	7	1
4839	Idaho's bid for Guiness Book of Records has been approved.	1.1139	0.04023	79	71	7	1
4840	So it says here you've been feeling unhinged lately.	1.1136	0.03767	88	79	8	1
4841	I don't care what gestalt analysis says, the real you is still there if we remove all the pieces.	1.1136	0.04406	88	81	4	3
4842	You've just got to cut out the carbs, my friend.	1.1136	0.03767	88	79	8	1
4843	I’m not an Agri-Physician Mr. Spud. But I would say your tests show good water content, sufficient volume for your maturity level and your still rating high on dietary demands.	1.1136	0.04099	88	80	6	2
4844	Your test results are positive for couch potato	1.1132	0.04394	53	47	6	0
4845	Your manufacturer is no longer making a replacement genitalia, but an eggplant have become a surprisingly popular substitute.	1.1132	0.04394	53	47	6	0
4846	...Then do you say tow-MAY-tow or tow-MAH-tow?	1.1129	0.04659	62	56	5	1
4847	Unfortunately,your tests came back positive for mealy worm.	1.1129	0.04659	62	56	5	1
4848	Everything points to too much starch.	1.1129	0.04052	62	55	7	0
4849	Sour cream and chives will make you taste better.	1.1129	0.04659	62	56	5	1
4850	Sir please this is getting ridiculous this is the third time this week you’ve walked here in costume	1.1129	0.04052	62	55	7	0
4851	I hate to break it to you, but you’ve gotta cut out carbs.	1.1129	0.04659	62	56	5	1
4852	So you think you're being chased by a sperm?	1.1129	0.04052	62	55	7	0
4853	I found no evidence of corns, but I did see some evidence of spuds.	1.1127	0.03779	71	63	8	0
4854	So, Mr. Potato head,you say your nose doesn’t fit you face?	1.1127	0.03779	71	63	8	0
4855	Your ring rot and powdery scab are looking much better. However, I am concerned about the missing legs.	1.1127	0.03779	71	63	8	0
4856	One prescription, Keep smiling.	1.1127	0.03779	71	63	8	0
4857	How did you feel when you learned they wanted to French Fry you?	1.1127	0.04279	71	64	6	1
4858	On the bright side, however, they can't get much shorter than they've already gotten.	1.1127	0.04279	71	64	6	1
4859	My advise is if you want a long productive life, stay away from butter, sour cream and chives.	1.1127	0.04279	71	64	6	1
4860	And, just how long have you had the craving for sour cream?	1.1127	0.04279	71	64	6	1
4861	Relax, Butternut Squash season ends next month.	1.1127	0.04726	71	65	4	2
4862	Well, I know focusing on fitness has really helped me. Fitness whole potato patient in my mouth!	1.1127	0.03779	71	63	8	0
4863	You say that for a long time you haven’t felt like yourself?	1.1127	0.03779	71	63	8	0
4864	I think we'll skip the knee reflex test.	1.1127	0.04279	71	64	6	1
4865	I believe you should cut back on carbs.	1.1125	0.03975	80	72	7	1
4866	I've been warning you to avoid the carbs.	1.1125	0.03975	80	72	7	1
4867	... and how long have you experienced this feeling of impending 'mash' just around the corner, Mr. Potato Head	1.1125	0.03975	80	72	7	1
4868	According to your blood tests, I recommend you stay away from starchy vegetables.	1.1125	0.03975	80	72	7	1
4869	It's too soon for chin-ups	1.1125	0.03555	80	71	9	0
4870	I don't have insurance, but I can let you have one of my eyes.	1.1111	0.04588	63	57	5	1
4871	I know this is a bad time, but are you the guy from that Pixar movie?	1.1111	0.04222	72	65	6	1
4872	I'd say your potassium level is fine for a game of your age."	1.1111	0.03991	63	56	7	0
4873	HATERS GONNA HATE ,POTATOES GONNA POTATE	1.1111	0.04222	72	65	6	1
4874	I recommend you cut back on the fries.	1.1111	0.04303	81	74	5	2
4875	Your hat head is quite bad, but your mustache is spectacular.	1.1111	0.03991	63	56	7	0
4876	Would you mind donating your body after dying to medical science?	1.1111	0.04317	54	48	6	0
4877	You're healthy. Some come in here mashed, broiled or scalloped!	1.1111	0.03730	72	64	8	0
4878	I am just feeling fried doc	1.1111	0.03991	63	56	7	0
4879	So, you say you don't feel like you're in control?	1.1111	0.03928	81	73	7	1
4880	... and you need to cut back on the carbohydrates.	1.1111	0.03928	81	73	7	1
4881	So I see here Dr. Anderson requested some recommendations regarding your recent bloodwork.	1.1111	0.03928	81	73	7	1
4882	Maybe we see if you can lay off being a carb.	1.1111	0.04222	72	65	6	1
4883	I'm afraid you have the blight.	1.1111	0.03991	63	56	7	0
4884	I'm sorry mister spud your insurance doesn't cover missing parts	1.1111	0.04588	63	57	5	1
4885	Have you tried avoiding gluten?	1.1111	0.04222	72	65	6	1
4886	When I said I wanted to find myself, I meant metaphorically, doctor.	1.1111	0.04222	72	65	6	1
4887	If carbs were dollars, you’d be Jeff Bezos. But you’re not.	1.1111	0.03514	81	72	9	0
4888	We'll skip cough and turn your head	1.1111	0.04662	72	66	4	2
4889	We'll be replacing your ears, nose, and mustache.	1.1111	0.03928	81	73	7	1
4890	Your vitals look good. Just cut back on the starch a bit.	1.1111	0.04662	72	66	4	2
4891	Well, I'm afraid we are what we eat.	1.1111	0.03991	63	56	7	0
4892	When transitioning from spud to stud, keep your eyes peeled!"	1.1111	0.03991	63	56	7	0
4893	You've put a lot of weight on since your last visit. I want you to cut out potato from your diet.	1.1111	0.03928	81	73	7	1
4894	Back again, huh? Have you tried putting your external organs on an apple?	1.1111	0.03514	81	72	9	0
4895	Next of kin?	1.1111	0.03730	72	64	8	0
4896	And so Mr. Dummpty, is says here that you were straddling a wall when you had a great fall	1.1111	0.04222	72	65	6	1
4897	I’m concerned about your eyes.	1.1111	0.03730	72	64	8	0
4898	Still too much starch.	1.1111	0.03331	90	80	10	0
4899	It says here you are here for the costume ball.	1.1111	0.03991	63	56	7	0
4900	Unfortunately,your liver transplant was harder than we expected it to be.	1.1111	0.03991	63	56	7	0
4901	We're definitely going to have to work on your body mass index.	1.1098	0.03883	82	74	7	1
4902	We can replace the eyes but I would not recommend laser treatment.	1.1098	0.03473	82	73	9	0
4903	First off, how did the high heels come to arrive inside your abdomen?	1.1098	0.03883	82	74	7	1
4904	I'm going to refer you to someone at the FDA.	1.1098	0.03883	82	74	7	1
4905	I think you’re fine. So, did you mention you could introduce me to Woody?	1.1098	0.04253	82	75	5	2
4906	The Woke culture and your lack of genetalia has contributed to your identity crisis. I'd like to refer you to mental health.	1.1096	0.04166	73	66	6	1
4907	Yes, I suppose transplanting your mouth under your hat would help you eat on the run.	1.1096	0.04166	73	66	6	1
4908	But Doc! It’s the Bruno Magli shoes that’s making her fall head over heels for me.	1.1096	0.04166	73	66	6	1
4909	Tests indicate that your skin is too thin and starch content is too low for most home cooks. Unfortunately, there is no cure.	1.1096	0.03681	73	65	8	0
4910	The good news is you’re doing better than Humpty Dumpty.	1.1096	0.04166	73	66	6	1
4911	Tell me more about this identity crisis you’re having…	1.1096	0.04166	73	66	6	1
4912	I may have an answer as to why you feel "hollow inside", but first, is one of your included accessories an insurance policy?	1.1096	0.03681	73	65	8	0
4913	Let me get that for you	1.1096	0.03681	73	65	8	0
4914	HYV Test	1.1096	0.03681	73	65	8	0
4915	I'm going to schedule you for an MRE.	1.1096	0.04166	73	66	6	1
4916	The attachment procedures were a success, with one important exception.	1.1096	0.04166	73	66	6	1
4917	I’m glad you and the Mrs. are adding some flavor, but I think we should revisit some safe practices. Here’s a brochure.	1.1096	0.04166	73	66	6	1
4918	Have looked into a Mediterranean diet?	1.1094	0.03932	64	57	7	0
4919	... And cut down on the carbs.	1.1094	0.04519	64	58	5	1
4920	When Mr. Potato Head realized the annual check-up didn't include repositioning his facial features.	1.1094	0.05038	64	59	3	2
4921	No, you cannot use my stethoscope to create a waist for you.	1.1094	0.04519	64	58	5	1
4922	You're looking great today Mr. Sanchez. Let's try a new medication to see if we can get rid of those nasty leg cramps.	1.1094	0.04519	64	58	5	1
4923	No, being able to take your feet off is not normal"	1.1094	0.04519	64	58	5	1
4924	Looking good. Just stay away from Humpty Dumpty.	1.1094	0.03932	64	57	7	0
4925	Mr. Potato Head, you need to watch your starches.	1.1094	0.04519	64	58	5	1
4926	The results from your x-ray were inconclusive. It came up empty.	1.1094	0.03932	64	57	7	0
4927	Have you ever been served in the military?	1.1094	0.03932	64	57	7	0
4928	You're going to need to stay away from folks who serve French fries.	1.1094	0.04519	64	58	5	1
4929	So Mr.Potato Head, your complaint is you feel fried?	1.1094	0.03932	64	57	7	0
4930	Well, the medical term for your condition is "Too much junk in your trunk."	1.1094	0.04519	64	58	5	1
4931	You say 'cholesterol' and I say 'chelosterol'...	1.1094	0.04519	64	58	5	1
4932	How often do you feel baked?	1.1087	0.03610	92	83	8	1
4933	Your chart is incomplete. But then, you’re incomplete.	1.1084	0.04203	83	76	5	2
4934	do you smoke? no. and how about drug use? no. any high-risk sexual behaviors? no. okay, let’s see here— one last question, do you support Israel’s right to defend itself?	1.1084	0.03838	83	75	7	1
4935	I know that you can still touch your toes, but your BMI is still the highest I’ve ever seen. Try cutting back on butter and sour cream.	1.1084	0.04203	83	76	5	2
4936	The lower legs will be a problem, but we can give you French thighs.	1.1084	0.03838	83	75	7	1
4937	Your nose job will cost $2million.	1.1084	0.03838	83	75	7	1
4938	Well Mr. Potato head, Getting ears & eyes stuck into you is better than being deep fried or grilled into hash browns.	1.1081	0.04112	74	67	6	1
4939	Margot Robbie is your family contact?	1.1081	0.03634	74	66	8	0
4940	You seem to have gotten a little shorter.	1.1081	0.04112	74	67	6	1
4941	Mr.Potato I must insist you have a starch free diet	1.1081	0.03634	74	66	8	0
4942	So you feel like you're coming apart at the seams?	1.1081	0.04112	74	67	6	1
4943	Doc, I'm tired of feeling so mashed up inside.	1.1081	0.04112	74	67	6	1
4944	In any case, it's all monotonous. Have you considered—a better shave?	1.1081	0.03634	74	66	8	0
4945	It's your head-it's a potato.	1.1081	0.04112	74	67	6	1
4946	I'm afraid I don't know how to advise you... I can find no references to erectile dysfunction in vegetables.	1.1081	0.04112	74	67	6	1
4947	I understand your stress & anxiety, the holidays are just around the corner & you would make one hell of a casserole!	1.1081	0.04112	74	67	6	1
4948	Let talk about your carb intake	1.1081	0.03634	74	66	8	0
4949	No blood cholesterol,you are just all carbohydrate!	1.1081	0.04112	74	67	6	1
4950	I'm concerned about this growth coming out of your eyes - all of them.	1.1081	0.04112	74	67	6	1
4951	Unfortunately our research has not found a potato spice like the mysterious pumpkin spice which many people find intoxicating.	1.1081	0.04112	74	67	6	1
4952	Fortunately for you the procedure is relatively straightforward we would remove your hat and mustache and replace it with a wig.	1.1081	0.04540	74	68	4	2
4953	I hear you've had a few breakdowns recently. Anything troubling you?	1.1081	0.03634	74	66	8	0
4954	First of all, tell me… how did you get on that wall?	1.1081	0.03634	74	66	8	0
4955	Try to get less exercise.	1.1077	0.03875	65	58	7	0
4956	Due to your weight, I recommend a low carb, vegan diet.	1.1077	0.03875	65	58	7	0
4957	I'm going to recommend a few weeks of headrest.	1.1077	0.04452	65	59	5	1
4958	I think you will lose weight on a low carb diet.	1.1077	0.03875	65	58	7	0
4959	I think you may have to much starch in you diet.	1.1077	0.04963	65	60	3	2
4960	You have a rare Italian gene conducive to boiling!	1.1077	0.04452	65	59	5	1
4961	Have you considered Ozempic?	1.1077	0.04452	65	59	5	1
4962	Good news, the tuber is benign...	1.1077	0.03875	65	58	7	0
4963	Can I ask how you got your name?	1.1075	0.03573	93	84	8	1
4964	My dear Mr. Spud - you simply have to cut down on potatoes.	1.1071	0.03794	84	76	7	1
4965	Let me try this one more time You're NOT a potato!	1.1071	0.04155	84	77	5	2
4966	As far as workmen's comp, I'm afraid you don't have a leg to stand on.	1.1067	0.03588	75	67	8	0
4967	I'm sorry, but we're going to have to remove it.	1.1067	0.04482	75	69	4	2
4968	All your parts are in good shape, but I think it is time to upgrade you to the package with legs.	1.1067	0.03588	75	67	8	0
4969	So, You think you are a NUT?	1.1067	0.03588	75	67	8	0
4970	It’s time to stop playing around.	1.1067	0.03588	75	67	8	0
4971	I’m sorry to report you won’t be able to serve in the military. You have bone spuds in your heels.	1.1067	0.04867	75	70	2	3
4972	You should go back to Idaho to search for your roots.	1.1067	0.04060	75	68	6	1
4973	What do you want first - the good news or the bad news?	1.1067	0.04482	75	69	4	2
4974	I’m afraid the news isn’t good. You’ll soon be smothered in butter, sour cream, and bacon bits.	1.1067	0.03588	75	67	8	0
4975	I’ve been suffering from hatchtipation.”	1.1067	0.03588	75	67	8	0
4976	Don't sit on walls!	1.1067	0.03588	75	67	8	0
4977	According to the instructions I have here, If I turn your frown upside down, you're good to go.	1.1067	0.03588	75	67	8	0
4978	I suggest reducing the amount of starch in your diet	1.1067	0.04060	75	68	6	1
4979	I see here that you're starch-deficient...	1.1067	0.04060	75	68	6	1
4980	I suggest you lay off the carbs.	1.1067	0.04482	75	69	4	2
4981	I'm sorry, but frankly, while the fact that you can wear shoes without having any feet or legs is amazing, I don't think we'll be able to make you any taller any time soon.	1.1067	0.04482	75	69	4	2
4982	Lab results say you should've been buried by now.	1.1067	0.03588	75	67	8	0
4983	Jogging might be helpful.	1.1067	0.03588	75	67	8	0
4984	Your problem I think is confusing spud with stud.	1.1067	0.03588	75	67	8	0
4985	I told you that would happen if you didn't get off the couch.	1.1067	0.04482	75	69	4	2
4986	Tobacco Rattle Virus, Leafroll, and Potato Moptop…. any other diseases in your family history?	1.1067	0.04060	75	68	6	1
4987	It’s that time of year, you are just peeling.	1.1061	0.04387	66	60	5	1
4988	I'm afraid you need to cut down on the carbs.	1.1061	0.03819	66	59	7	0
4989	Unfortunately, sir, it's serious. You have a head cold.	1.1061	0.04387	66	60	5	1
4990	I'm afraid you only have one potato to live—maybe two.	1.1061	0.04387	66	60	5	1
4991	You’re doing much better with your diabetes. Keep staying off the carbs	1.1061	0.03819	66	59	7	0
4992	I think pealing away that old skin will make you feel like a new man	1.1061	0.03819	66	59	7	0
4993	I’m afraid you’re starting to qualify for the big pumpkin contest.	1.1059	0.03751	85	77	7	1
4994	we have to cut out your eyes.	1.1059	0.03751	85	77	7	1
4995	Bad news You’re going to have to lay off the butter, bacon bits and sour cream for a while.	1.1059	0.03751	85	77	7	1
4996	Good news is your nose is back on. Bad news is you got kidney stones.	1.1053	0.04805	57	52	4	1
4997	You should try limiting your carbs.	1.1053	0.03544	76	68	8	0
4998	No, it's not a rash Mr. Sodden. You have on your back the start of "sprouts", a natural consequence of aging. Will you get them on your face? Even Medical Science	1.1053	0.05418	57	53	2	2
4999	Are you certain that you want to have plastic surgery?	1.1053	0.04008	76	69	6	1
5000	Can you take off your ears and nose so I might see what's causing your headaches?	1.1053	0.04101	57	51	6	0
5001	No, you're not sitting on a new-fangled electric stove, but I have to say that you're smelling mighty fine today.	1.1053	0.03544	76	68	8	0
5002	First time at a human doctor, Mr. Head?	1.1053	0.04008	76	69	6	1
5003	Well you still appear to be more baked than fried.	1.1053	0.03544	76	68	8	0
5004	I'm afraid our practice is limited to eggplant.	1.1053	0.04424	76	70	4	2
5005	Mrs. Potato Head is the lucky one. Your parts are perfectly compatible.	1.1047	0.04061	86	79	5	2
5006	Your labs show that I need to refer you to a potato fumigation specialist.	1.1047	0.03709	86	78	7	1
5007	Yes, you have more choices of where you place your features, but the plastic body will not rot and is far more durable.	1.1047	0.03320	86	77	9	0
5008	I wouldn't worry. Microplastic is very common at your age.	1.1047	0.03320	86	77	9	0
5009	Mr. Potato, I regret to inform you that you have prostate cancer	1.1045	0.04324	67	61	5	1
5010	Have you ever considered reducing starches in your diet?	1.1045	0.04324	67	61	5	1
5011	All of your labor-saving gadgetry has taken its toll!	1.1045	0.04324	67	61	5	1
5012	I don't care what the Pixar doctor told you. I'm telling you to lay off the carbs.	1.1045	0.04324	67	61	5	1
5013	So, you say you feel like you are coming apart?	1.1045	0.04324	67	61	5	1
5014	Mr. Potatohead I'm sorry to say your test results show that you need to cut down on your carbs.	1.1045	0.03765	67	60	7	0
5015	Try your best to cut out the starch.	1.1045	0.03765	67	60	7	0
5016	I'm sorry, Mr. Dumpty, we've called all the king's horses and all the king's men. They can't put you together again.	1.1045	0.04324	67	61	5	1
5017	If you would please get off my table I have actual patients to attend to.	1.1045	0.04819	67	62	3	2
5018	Sometimes you feel like a nut; sometimes you don't. But I feel like a nut all the time ... what's wrong with me?	1.1045	0.04324	67	61	5	1
5019	Have you tries Keto?	1.1039	0.03958	77	70	6	1
5020	Your prognosis is way a head	1.1039	0.03500	77	69	8	0
5021	Yea, Mrs. Potato Head wants me to get checked out since I seem to be slowing down on the "job," if you know what I mean!	1.1039	0.03500	77	69	8	0
5022	Could be Seasonal Affective Disorder	1.1039	0.03500	77	69	8	0
5023	Well, the chart says you are a Potato.	1.1039	0.04369	77	71	4	2
5024	Stay away from fried and baked foods.	1.1039	0.03500	77	69	8	0
5025	This says you want me to check your… binary levels?	1.1039	0.03958	77	70	6	1
5026	I recommend cutting back on the sour cream and cheese.	1.1039	0.03958	77	70	6	1
5027	Hello Doctor. I am here to discuss a low carb diet	1.1039	0.03500	77	69	8	0
5028	I don't think eliminating carbs would help you much."	1.1034	0.04034	58	52	6	0
5029	My advice, Mr. Dumpty, is to avoid sitting on walls.	1.1034	0.04034	58	52	6	0
5030	Well at least you’re not fries	1.1029	0.03713	68	61	7	0
5031	You know I usually have to warn folks that it's the deductible that could cost an arm and a leg, not a child.	1.1029	0.04750	68	63	3	2
5032	Mario, you have gained a lot of weight.	1.1029	0.04263	68	62	5	1
5033	Roger, here is your diagnosis: Everyone with your genetics eventually has this issue. Your whole body will turn into the big “C”— Chips. But there’s good news! Your legacy will bring endless joy!	1.1029	0.04750	68	63	3	2
5034	there are good carbs and there are bad carbs, keep that in mind	1.1029	0.04263	68	62	5	1
5035	Let’s try a laxative.	1.1029	0.04263	68	62	5	1
5036	Ever feel like a French fry?	1.1029	0.03713	68	61	7	0
5037	You are still at risk for a big fall. The only thing I can suggest is prevention : stay away from walls . Matia Finn-Stevenson	1.1029	0.04263	68	62	5	1
5038	The test results are conclusive. You’re not from Idaho.	1.1029	0.03713	68	61	7	0
5039	Despite your age, you are remarkably flexible!	1.1029	0.04263	68	62	5	1
5040	Unfortunately you have complications from the plastic surgery you received many years ago.	1.1029	0.03713	68	61	7	0
5041	I’m drawing a titty with a hairdo, I’ve always wanted to see that and now I finally can. This little wonder here is called a pencil.	1.1026	0.03909	78	71	6	1
5042	You will be puree after a hot bath.	1.1026	0.03457	78	70	8	0
5043	You've really got to cut down on the starches.	1.1026	0.03909	78	71	6	1
5044	Believe Me, You're Not Just Another Face in the Crowd	1.1026	0.03457	78	70	8	0
5045	Well... this'll be the easiest surgery I have this week.	1.1026	0.03457	78	70	8	0
5046	What's your orientation category? Pear, potato or trans?	1.1023	0.03628	88	80	7	1
5047	Things aren't fitting how they used to..."	1.1023	0.03628	88	80	7	1
5048	I'm going to need you to cut back on starch.	1.1023	0.03628	88	80	7	1
5049	I have bad news. Our tests confirm that you have been diagnosed as a Common-Tater.	1.1017	0.03969	59	53	6	0
5050	Do you remember what happened right before the music stopped?	1.1017	0.03969	59	53	6	0
5051	Well, according to your labs, you're put together...but it sounds like you still feel empty inside?	1.1017	0.03969	59	53	6	0
5052	I hate Halloween.	1.1014	0.04683	69	64	3	2
5053	Eat less carbs.	1.1014	0.03661	69	62	7	0
5054	You may want to try to reduce the amount of starch in your diet.	1.1014	0.03661	69	62	7	0
5055	Yeah, so I checked in the back and unfortunately we’re out of stock… but I know a great urologist who should be able to help.	1.1014	0.04203	69	63	5	1
5056	Unless you have another liver back there, I've got some bad news.	1.1014	0.03661	69	62	7	0
5057	``That's the bad news. The good news is that you'll probably never be a French fry.''	1.1014	0.03661	69	62	7	0
5058	First, how'd you get up there? It says here you lost 50 pounds. How's the family?	1.1013	0.03862	79	72	6	1
5059	Everything looks pretty good but you need to cut down on the starch	1.1013	0.04261	79	73	4	2
5060	I regret to inform you that the potato tumor must be removed.	1.1013	0.04627	79	74	2	3
5061	You've got spuds.	1.1013	0.03862	79	72	6	1
5062	Mr. Couch, I think you could benefit from more PE and less TV.	1.1013	0.03862	79	72	6	1
5063	You can't ORDER me to prescribe something for your dick, tater.	1.1013	0.04261	79	73	4	2
5064	And you felt perfectly fine before getting vaccinated?	1.1013	0.03862	79	72	6	1
5065	You need to reduce your starch intake.	1.1011	0.03589	89	81	7	1
5066	Mr. Head, what seems to be the problem?	1.1000	0.03612	70	63	7	0
5067	And how long have you been having these migraines?	1.1000	0.04145	70	64	5	1
5068	I'm sorry, but your request to incorporate "Get some head" in your corporate logo won't work.	1.1000	0.04618	70	65	3	2
5069	I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you have no brain or heart. The good news is you don't need them anymore.	1.1000	0.04145	70	64	5	1
5070	I'm very concerned about your recent weight gain!" "I'm putting you on a low carb diet immediately.	1.1000	0.03612	70	63	7	0
5071	I heard lately being on good behavior doesn't help. Yun Jia Cumming, Ga	1.1000	0.04145	70	64	5	1
5072	Piel them before you eat them.	1.1000	0.03612	70	63	7	0
5073	I think we're looking at a low carb diet.	1.1000	0.03375	80	72	8	0
5074	I'm afraid we've found several large masses in your abdomen.	1.1000	0.04145	70	64	5	1
5075	I recommend cutting down on starch. That means no potatoes.	1.1000	0.03375	80	72	8	0
5076	I feel as if I’m falling apart.	1.1000	0.03815	80	73	6	1
5077	Even if you read it on the internet, the idea that you need to exercise less comes across as half-baked.	1.1000	0.03815	80	73	6	1
5078	So you report symptoms of the infectious disease ‘identity crisis’?”	1.1000	0.03612	70	63	7	0
5079	Your scans came back. It appears your TikTok fame has spread to your head.	1.1000	0.04145	70	64	5	1
5080	I suggest you cut back on starchy foods.	1.1000	0.03815	80	73	6	1
5081	On the form here it says ‘pot head.’ Does the evil weed have something to do with your situation?	1.1000	0.03612	70	63	7	0
5082	Have you been storing items in your butt recently?	1.1000	0.04145	70	64	5	1
5083	I recommend you do your post-op somewhere cool and dry.	1.1000	0.03375	80	72	8	0
5084	You'll need to remove all of your parts and change into a gown.	1.1000	0.03612	70	63	7	0
5085	We have different ears, arms, noses and mouths, but we can’t do anything with your body	1.1000	0.03906	60	54	6	0
5086	I'm afraid you have bakophobia.	1.1000	0.04210	80	74	4	2
5087	you simply have to cut back on the number of potatoes you’re eating each day.	1.1000	0.03612	70	63	7	0
5088	So, family members for generations have had blight on their noses, and you're wondering if it could be a genetic condition?	1.1000	0.03906	60	54	6	0
5089	I would like you to follow this diet of chives, cheese, bacon, and sour cream.	1.0988	0.03336	81	73	8	0
5090	Your ears are secure, Mr. Head. I'm just not sure what we can do to keep that nose and mustache from popping off.	1.0988	0.03770	81	74	6	1
5091	Well, Mr. Head, the high glucose levels can be controlled though diet, though the nutritionist is booked til next month. As for the nose, we have good news!	1.0988	0.03770	81	74	6	1
5092	The moustache transplant took.	1.0988	0.04159	81	75	4	2
5093	I want you to try a low-starch diet.	1.0988	0.03336	81	73	8	0
5094	I’m sorry, but once you’ve had a great fall, all the king’s horses and all the king’s men, are unable to put you together again.	1.0988	0.03336	81	73	8	0
5095	It's time to cut back on the carbs.	1.0988	0.03336	81	73	8	0
5096	I was going to check your heart rate, but I already know I wouldn't get a reading.	1.0986	0.04089	71	65	5	1
5097	I'm afraid it's way too late blight.	1.0986	0.03563	71	64	7	0
5098	So it says here that you constantly feel like putting your head in the oven.	1.0986	0.03563	71	64	7	0
5099	How big did you say you want it to be?	1.0986	0.03563	71	64	7	0
5100	Listen, Spud. . . . .	1.0986	0.04089	71	65	5	1
5101	Well, you just have to accept that you’re no longer a spud.	1.0986	0.03563	71	64	7	0
5102	And, I'd recommend staying away from carbs!	1.0986	0.03563	71	64	7	0
5103	This continual disassemblement is not good for you.	1.0986	0.04089	71	65	5	1
5104	I'm afraid you've contracted a serious case of Mr. Potato Head.	1.0986	0.04555	71	66	3	2
5105	Remember for some people getting high can have a negative effect.	1.0986	0.03563	71	64	7	0
5106	Mr. Potato Head an apple a day keep the green spots away.	1.0986	0.03563	71	64	7	0
5107	But too much sun will roast you.	1.0984	0.04499	61	56	4	1
5108	It says here that you are already baked.	1.0984	0.03845	61	55	6	0
5109	I suggest a large amount of butter daily to raise your lipids and balance your high carbs.	1.0984	0.03845	61	55	6	0
5110	Sir,do you want to be fried,boiled or baked? We operate on Tuesdays and Thursdays.	1.0984	0.04499	61	56	4	1
5111	Your eyes are sweet, but your pancreas is mashed, your liver is fried, and your skin is peeled.	1.0984	0.03845	61	55	6	0
5112	has anyone ever told you you're utterly repulsive to look at?	1.0976	0.03726	82	75	6	1
5113	Play less.	1.0976	0.03297	82	74	8	0
5114	Your problem Mr. Russet is that you eat too many starchy foods.	1.0972	0.03516	72	65	7	0
5115	If you want to knock off weight, I'd recommend a starch-free diet.	1.0972	0.04034	72	66	5	1
5116	And cut back on the starch.	1.0972	0.03516	72	65	7	0
5117	well the good thing is your reflexes are blight-ning fast	1.0972	0.03516	72	65	7	0
5118	Peel off your clothes for me.” “How long have you had this detachable ear problem?” “Nose surgery! That’s it?	1.0972	0.03516	72	65	7	0
5119	I'm going to refer you to an ophthalmologist.	1.0972	0.04493	72	67	3	2
5120	If you take your disguise off, you may be baked, fried or boiled. On the other hand, if you keep your disguise on you may wither to death."	1.0972	0.04034	72	66	5	1
5121	It is rare, very rare It's called kneesals!	1.0972	0.03516	72	65	7	0
5122	You know you're perfectly capable of doing your own rhinoplasty, Mr. Head.	1.0972	0.03516	72	65	7	0
5123	Unfortunately, downsizing is a fact of life these days.	1.0972	0.04493	72	67	3	2
5124	It's really rather common to feel hollow, given your genetic lineage.	1.0968	0.03785	62	56	6	0
5125	You want me to check for hemorrhoids?	1.0968	0.03785	62	56	6	0
5126	I’ve heard Idaho is nice. So what brought you here?	1.0968	0.04429	62	57	4	1
5127	Shouldn't take long at all, Mr. Head, we'll just scoop out those dark spots and send you on your way.	1.0968	0.03785	62	56	6	0
5128	You didn't lay off the carbs, did you?	1.0968	0.04429	62	57	4	1
5129	On cursory inspection, I’d say that your symptoms are… concerning.	1.0968	0.04429	62	57	4	1
5130	I'd cut you into pieces and deep-fry you were it not for that mustache...	1.0968	0.03785	62	56	6	0
5131	Remarkably healthy, considering your diet is 100% plastic.	1.0968	0.04429	62	57	4	1
5132	Do you have a lot of potatoes in your diet?	1.0968	0.03785	62	56	6	0
5133	Humpty has nothing to do with your being dumpty.	1.0968	0.04429	62	57	4	1
5134	This procedure will cost you an arm and a leg." "Go for it, I've got spares"	1.0968	0.03785	62	56	6	0
5135	Lose the hat.	1.0964	0.03682	83	76	6	1
5136	Let’s start with a high protein low-carb diet.	1.0962	0.04128	52	47	5	0
5137	I see you were referred by Dr. Kildare.	1.0959	0.03981	73	67	5	1
5138	avoid too much starch.	1.0959	0.03981	73	67	5	1
5139	Not sorry, but I'm going to have to kill you and make you into soup.	1.0959	0.03470	73	66	7	0
5140	So your main complaint is that it is all one big headache.	1.0959	0.03470	73	66	7	0
5141	Aren’t you lucky, the ambulance got to you before all the kings horses and all the kings men?	1.0959	0.03470	73	66	7	0
5142	Mr. Potato Head, we must work at peeling away those excess pounds.	1.0959	0.03470	73	66	7	0
5143	I can't help you but I know a great specialist at Disney World.	1.0959	0.03470	73	66	7	0
5144	Well sir, it appears the spud is yours.	1.0959	0.03470	73	66	7	0
5145	Exercise, Mr. Head. You're looking a bit pear-shaped.	1.0959	0.03470	73	66	7	0
5146	Heads or tails?	1.0959	0.03470	73	66	7	0
5147	Now listen, Humpty Dumpty was an entirely different case altogether.	1.0959	0.03470	73	66	7	0
5148	The good news is all your friends are French fries!	1.0957	0.03051	94	85	9	0
5149	You need to go easy on the ketchup	1.0952	0.03728	63	57	6	0
5150	I'd ask you to turn your head and cough, but since you're a potato head it won't be much help.	1.0952	0.03728	63	57	6	0
5151	What size wall was it, again?	1.0952	0.03640	84	77	6	1
5152	I regret to inform you that your inflation rate has increased to 5%, but your blood sugar levels look great!	1.0952	0.03222	84	76	8	0
5153	Based on your blood tests, I recommend you cut back on fries and chips.	1.0952	0.03640	84	77	6	1
5154	No, Mr. Potatohead, your internal organs don't ust pop in and out.	1.0952	0.03728	63	57	6	0
5155	If you could please take of your nose and stand at the end of the table.	1.0952	0.03728	63	57	6	0
5156	It's true that most potatoes have more than two eyes but I cannot surgically correct more for you.	1.0952	0.03728	63	57	6	0
5157	Have you considered swapping out your eye and your nose?	1.0952	0.03728	63	57	6	0
5158	The good news is you can definitely have children...	1.0952	0.04361	63	58	4	1
5159	I can promise you a whole new facial appearance without stitches or anesthesia at a low cost.	1.0946	0.03425	74	67	7	0
5160	So you’ve had a slight case of the blight but right now there’s no need for a quick part replacement.	1.0946	0.03425	74	67	7	0
5161	We've discovered that you don't have a brain,a heart,or courage,and that you are mainly made of starch.	1.0946	0.03929	74	68	5	1
5162	Ozempic should help with those pesky love handles	1.0946	0.03425	74	67	7	0
5163	I'm writing you a prescription for Klonopin, Mr. Potato Head.	1.0946	0.03929	74	68	5	1
5164	Removing the eyes removes the toxins	1.0946	0.03929	74	68	5	1
5165	You’ve just got to lay off the fries, you’re not a young spud anymore!	1.0946	0.03425	74	67	7	0
5166	Soooo… what can we look forward to finding inside of you this time?	1.0946	0.03425	74	67	7	0
5167	And when did you first notice you were developing a phobia about walls?	1.0946	0.03425	74	67	7	0
5168	What is your Complaint? A healthy American male such as you should not need to see a physician!	1.0946	0.04375	74	69	3	2
5169	Your carbohydrates are very high and you might end up as potato chips if your not careful…	1.0946	0.03425	74	67	7	0
5170	So you say you have a massive headache…	1.0946	0.03425	74	67	7	0
5171	I think I’m eggnant.”	1.0946	0.03929	74	68	5	1
5172	You’re going to have to see a different specialist. I just deal with potato eyes, not feet.	1.0946	0.03929	74	68	5	1
5173	Okay, we have you scheduled Wednesday for your hip and knee placements.	1.0946	0.03425	74	67	7	0
5174	Your head is too big for your body.	1.0941	0.03599	85	78	6	1
5175	Well there's your problem- you have no legs!	1.0941	0.03969	85	79	4	2
5176	Want the temp probe back?	1.0941	0.03599	85	78	6	1
5177	I recommend that you try to shed a piece or two.	1.0938	0.03672	64	58	6	0
5178	You need to broaden your diet beyond carbohydrates, like dairy and vegetables. Might I suggest sour cream and chives?	1.0938	0.04838	64	60	2	2
5179	My advice? Quit smoking, curb your alcohol consumption, and don't be any fried food.	1.0938	0.03672	64	58	6	0
5180	Let's chat about your family medical history. I understand that your ancestors are from the New World?	1.0938	0.04295	64	59	4	1
5181	Mr. Potato Head,good news! All clear here,you have no STD’s	1.0938	0.04295	64	59	4	1
5182	Your sugar levels are too high! You really need to stop eating potatoes!	1.0938	0.03672	64	58	6	0
5183	I don't know who I am anymore.	1.0938	0.04295	64	59	4	1
5184	Right now, there's nothing I can do to help you.	1.0938	0.04295	64	59	4	1
5185	I've got you covered for the sore throat and deep cough, but for the nightmares about and irrational fear of large pots of boiling peanut oil, I'll refer you to a psychiatrist.	1.0933	0.04318	75	70	3	2
5186	I think it's time for you to try Keto.	1.0933	0.03878	75	69	5	1
5187	"Unfortunately the only cure for couch potato syndrome involves a deep fryer."	1.0933	0.03878	75	69	5	1
5188	Your Ozempic treatment may lead to high levels of cholesterol and combination skin.	1.0933	0.03382	75	68	7	0
5189	Your Medicare Annual Enrollment Period ends December 7th.	1.0933	0.03878	75	69	5	1
5190	You're gonna have to cut back on the starches.	1.0933	0.04318	75	70	3	2
5191	Sorry to inform you,but going from a body shape of pear to potato is not a more favorable future health predictor.	1.0933	0.03382	75	68	7	0
5192	Like I keep telling you, there is too much starch in your diet.	1.0933	0.03382	75	68	7	0
5193	Spudsly dudsly	1.0933	0.03878	75	69	5	1
5194	At your age be aware of falling	1.0933	0.03382	75	68	7	0
5195	You really need to lower your intake of starch.	1.0933	0.03878	75	69	5	1
5196	Good news! Nothing new since our last appointment.	1.0933	0.03382	75	68	7	0
5197	You're not fooling anyone with that mustache, Mrs. Potatohead.	1.0933	0.03382	75	68	7	0
5198	How many eggs a day did you say?	1.0930	0.03151	86	78	8	0
5199	Says here you identify as a potato, but medically speaking you're dead."	1.0926	0.04779	54	50	3	1
5200	You're going to have to be more careful about your drinking. You almost got smashed.	1.0923	0.03618	65	59	6	0
5201	So you feel a mistake has been made and you should really be a clock?	1.0923	0.03618	65	59	6	0
5202	I accidentally left my car keys inside of your chest but I have a spare valet key I can use, so it's all good."	1.0923	0.03618	65	59	6	0
5203	Are you the model that needs the colonoscopy?	1.0923	0.04231	65	60	4	1
5204	Don't be too concerned...your diagnosis says you've got arachnophobia not acrophobia.	1.0923	0.03618	65	59	6	0
5205	Take a tablet of salt and pat of butter each day - and stay out of the kitchen.	1.0923	0.04231	65	60	4	1
5206	Your bloods suggest high levels of starch may be causing the mood swings	1.0923	0.03618	65	59	6	0
5207	I'm prescribing antibiotics, some bacon bits and a large dollop of sour cream.	1.0921	0.03829	76	70	5	1
5208	Sorry but your Plan doesn’t cover cosmetic part moving.	1.0921	0.04262	76	71	3	2
5209	Here's a prescription to avail at your nearest chip-making furnace. That'll get you in good shape.	1.0921	0.03339	76	69	7	0
5210	Your chart shows your'e from Idaho. No, it shows Iowa Oh, Ohio No, Iowa	1.0921	0.04262	76	71	3	2
5211	So in order to get your lips and glasses, we need you to jump down and touch your toes.	1.0921	0.03829	76	70	5	1
5212	Unfortunately,the fall completely mashed your flesh.	1.0921	0.03339	76	69	7	0
5213	Just be sure to take care of your mental health.	1.0921	0.03829	76	70	5	1
5214	Bad news first. Your browns are hashed, your frenches fried, and your small potatoes mashed. The good news: you're first in line for eye replacement!	1.0921	0.04262	76	71	3	2
5215	No we don't offer Viagra to potatoes.	1.0909	0.03298	77	70	7	0
5216	I know it’s unusual, but this is a reported side effect.	1.0909	0.03566	66	60	6	0
5217	Mr. Potato Man, I have some good news and bad news. The good news is that your eye examination went well. Bad news...I'm diagnosing you with as: FRIES	1.0909	0.03912	55	50	5	0
5218	I think you're eating too much starch.	1.0909	0.03780	77	71	5	1
5219	Your lipids are fine, but your starch is off the charts!	1.0909	0.03566	66	60	6	0
5220	You need to add more starches to your diet: like potatoes!	1.0909	0.04169	66	61	4	1
5221	The good news is the cancer pops right off.	1.0909	0.04169	66	61	4	1
5222	That’s one too many peanuts!	1.0909	0.03912	55	50	5	0
5223	You know you have a choice... the pan or the fire?	1.0909	0.04169	66	61	4	1
5224	There's a happy face deep down inside you and the only way is not therapy, but surgery	1.0909	0.03298	77	70	7	0
5225	Hypertension.... you don't say?	1.0909	0.04169	66	61	4	1
5226	Doctor, I suffer from a Humpty Dumpty complex	1.0909	0.03298	77	70	7	0
5227	I'm considering an oversized bow tie to finalize your absurdity.	1.0909	0.03566	66	60	6	0
5228	So it turns out you're going to have to make some changes.	1.0909	0.04169	66	61	4	1
5229	Are you feeling valued at work?	1.0909	0.03298	77	70	7	0
5230	Sure, you're avoiding saturated fats, but have I got a statin for you!	1.0909	0.04695	55	51	3	1
5231	Well, Mr. Head, it seems you're allergic to peanut oil.	1.0909	0.03566	66	60	6	0
5232	I’m afraid you’ll be gone with the tuber, if we cut it out.	1.0899	0.03049	89	81	8	0
5233	Your cholesterol levels are through the roof.	1.0897	0.03734	78	72	5	1
5234	I see you indicated you've become depressed at being the head tuber in a major orchestra?	1.0897	0.03257	78	71	7	0
5235	Either I need to adjust my medication or GMO has gone way too far!	1.0897	0.03734	78	72	5	1
5236	As per the results of the full body scan, we haven't found anything wrong in your head...	1.0897	0.03734	78	72	5	1
5237	Yes, apple-shape is worse than pear-shape, but nothing is worse than couch potato.	1.0897	0.03257	78	71	7	0
5238	A helmet may be more helpful.	1.0897	0.03734	78	72	5	1
5239	You need to cut down on carbs. Barbara Bacon Ann arbor, Mi.	1.0897	0.03734	78	72	5	1
5240	Looks like you have a case of spud flu	1.0897	0.03257	78	71	7	0
5241	You still have not told me what your beef is with meat..	1.0896	0.03515	67	61	6	0
5242	There's nothing wrong with you that we can't fix with what we've got on hand.	1.0896	0.04108	67	62	4	1
5243	I'm very sorry to tell you that your policy at "All the King Horses and All the Kings's Men" has unfortunately expired.	1.0896	0.04626	67	63	2	2
5244	.."I told you walls don't work!"	1.0896	0.04108	67	62	4	1
5245	You have misunderstood the craft of a plastic surgeon.	1.0896	0.03515	67	61	6	0
5246	And especially, stay away from fried foods.	1.0896	0.03515	67	61	6	0
5247	I am going to prescribe some new body pills"	1.0896	0.03515	67	61	6	0
5248	Keep working on building upper body strength at the gym, and check back with me in six months.	1.0896	0.03515	67	61	6	0
5249	You have fries with that!” Earle Jacobs East Windsor, N	1.0896	0.03515	67	61	6	0
5250	Our tests indicate that your efforts to integrate Groucho, Mr. Potato Head and Charlie Chaplin require more protein!	1.0896	0.03515	67	61	6	0
5251	Well...We got your colonoscopy results back, and I'm afraid I have some bad news.	1.0893	0.03845	56	51	5	0
5252	Avoid the canned fruit aisle in the supermarket.	1.0893	0.03845	56	51	5	0
5253	We've never grafted a foot to an eye before, but you're a good candidate for the surgery.	1.0886	0.03218	79	72	7	0
5254	We found your body, Mr. Spud! You'll see it after we shrink your head.	1.0886	0.03688	79	73	5	1
5255	I'm prescribing half cup sour cream and salt to taste	1.0886	0.03218	79	72	7	0
5256	It's a simple procedure really. We'll just pull the arms off, then click a couple arms back on.	1.0882	0.04049	68	63	4	1
5257	Re-assembly after playing with children, that'll be $5,000	1.0882	0.03465	68	62	6	0
5258	I recommend a hot bath until you feel tender.	1.0882	0.03465	68	62	6	0
5259	Well, your eyes are okay.	1.0882	0.04049	68	63	4	1
5260	Sorry, Mr. P., there is no cure, but we can send you to be boiled, baked or mashed.	1.0882	0.04049	68	63	4	1
5261	I see you're here for vegetable reassignment.	1.0882	0.03465	68	62	6	0
5262	A gender reassignment procedure entails removing your mustache and hat and attaching lady shoes and a purse.	1.0882	0.04049	68	63	4	1
5263	There's no diagnosis. You just have to love the way you are.	1.0877	0.03780	57	52	5	0
5264	I think you should eat fewer carbohydrates	1.0877	0.03780	57	52	5	0
5265	Yes, that is bad news. But, on the bright side, you'll provide our whole office with tasty french fries.	1.0875	0.03643	80	74	5	1
5266	And when was your last Colonoscopy?	1.0875	0.03643	80	74	5	1
5267	I think we're looking at a starch allergy here.	1.0875	0.03179	80	73	7	0
5268	If your diagnosis is the hicups,why do I have to sit on my hands for 2 minutes and get a pedicure?	1.0875	0.03643	80	74	5	1
5269	So, this starting happening when Family Feud changed hosts, correct?	1.0870	0.03417	69	63	6	0
5270	Mr. P., you are the root of your health issues.	1.0870	0.03992	69	64	4	1
5271	So,Mr. Potato Head,when did you first notice you nose coming loose?	1.0870	0.03992	69	64	4	1
5272	Oh spuds,You must be running high on those bones,my friend!	1.0870	0.03675	92	86	4	2
5273	The surgery was a success. We were able to reattach your eyes, ears and nose quite easily.	1.0870	0.03417	69	63	6	0
5274	Let's keep it on a knees to know basis	1.0870	0.04495	69	65	2	2
5275	Happy News! Your underlying health is assured due to your amazing power to regenerate lost body parts!	1.0864	0.03141	81	74	7	0
5276	Try to cut down on carbs.	1.0862	0.03718	58	53	5	0
5277	We’re thinking about prescribing baked, French fried or mashed.	1.0860	0.03636	93	87	4	2
5278	Do you have any spores?	1.0857	0.03370	70	64	6	0
5279	Where is all that stuff that J.D.Salinger was supposed to have left behind?	1.0857	0.03937	70	65	4	1
5280	Oh, I said you had cancer?" "Eh I meant to say a high fever, potato potato	1.0857	0.04432	70	66	2	2
5281	Carb-loading has not been your friend, I see	1.0857	0.03370	70	64	6	0
5282	Good morning Mr. Poe-tah-to head?...not sure what it is-your tuber markings are off the charts-you may have tuberculosis-and I know this will be hard …you have to cut down on your carbohydrates-take 2 of these daily and you’ll be peeling better soon!	1.0857	0.03370	70	64	6	0
5283	Okay Spud, it says here you’re in for your annual Potato Beetle Spraying.	1.0857	0.03370	70	64	6	0
5284	The prognosis is you have chip off the old block syndrome. It's genetic.	1.0857	0.03370	70	64	6	0
5285	Says here you've got internal bleeding.	1.0857	0.03937	70	65	4	1
5286	Potato head gets diagnosed with type 2 diabetes	1.0857	0.03370	70	64	6	0
5287	I know you’re a carbohydrate. When are you going to cut back on the carbs?	1.0857	0.03937	70	65	4	1
5288	I would suggest cutting back on starches.	1.0857	0.03370	70	64	6	0
5289	And just how do you expect me to get your pedal pulse?	1.0857	0.03370	70	64	6	0
5290	It says here “You’re allergic to butter and sour cream “.	1.0857	0.03370	70	64	6	0
5291	I'm prescribing an anti-fungal for your dry rot.	1.0857	0.03370	70	64	6	0
5292	So you lost your voice when Don Rickles died, hmmm… might I suggest becoming a mime.	1.0854	0.03557	82	76	5	1
5293	Yes, first the potato famine...then the pandemic. Life has been a real mash-up!	1.0854	0.03557	82	76	5	1
5294	You haven’t changed since you were a tot.	1.0847	0.03657	59	54	5	0
5295	Mr. S'puddy, you should cut back on your carbs.	1.0847	0.03657	59	54	5	0
5296	Treatment is simple. The great clown Mr. Potato Head is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up.	1.0847	0.03657	59	54	5	0
5297	Don't be a spud, you're doing fine	1.0845	0.03324	71	65	6	0
5298	I don't provide medical services "on a shoestring".	1.0845	0.03324	71	65	6	0
5299	Hey Spuddy!	1.0845	0.03883	71	66	4	1
5300	Cornstalk implants might improve your reach but not your gate.	1.0845	0.03883	71	66	4	1
5301	Let’s go ova your fall eggzamination.	1.0845	0.03883	71	66	4	1
5302	Good news, they're not cancerous polyps. Bad news is your eyes, ears, and nose are going to fall off anyway.	1.0845	0.03883	71	66	4	1
5303	It’s a police matter if you think Mrs. Potato Head is poisoning you.	1.0845	0.03883	71	66	4	1
5304	Of you’ll pardon the formality, even if I knew your fist name, I would continue to address you as Mr. Potato Head.	1.0845	0.03324	71	65	6	0
5305	Have you updated your medical directives recently, Mr. Dumpty?	1.0845	0.03883	71	66	4	1
5306	Well, for starters, I’d suggest cutting back on the starch	1.0845	0.03324	71	65	6	0
5307	Your first name is Gottfried?	1.0843	0.03515	83	77	5	1
5308	Just cut down on the carbs a little	1.0843	0.03069	83	76	7	0
5309	Yes, it is very unusual for Night Shades, but no, you’re not dying Mr Bulbes. Is there anything else today?	1.0842	0.02864	95	87	8	0
5310	I'm sorry to tell you, mister....oh yes, Mr. Potato Head. I checked your rear compartment, and I have to tell you That it is completely empty"	1.0833	0.03830	72	67	4	1
5311	I see here that you were born in Idaho, but raised in a greenhouse. I'd say that's a pretty good clue as to why you've been feeling "baked" for so long.	1.0833	0.03865	84	79	3	2
5312	Just think of all the treatments you don't need!	1.0833	0.03034	84	77	7	0
5313	So, you think you're King Edward...	1.0833	0.03830	72	67	4	1
5314	We have to stop meeting like this. My wife is getting suspicious.	1.0833	0.04312	60	56	3	1
5315	I'm really not the guy to talk to about that. And since things aren't improving, the issue of whether to go with cremation or mashed, most likely rests with your sous chef.	1.0833	0.03598	60	55	5	0
5316	We are going to run a few tests to make sure that you don’t have Humpty Dumpty Syndrome	1.0833	0.03830	72	67	4	1
5317	Yeah I know you say you have a stomach ache but I couldn’t find your actual stomach.	1.0833	0.03280	72	66	6	0
5318	Your health is ahead of others.	1.0833	0.03830	72	67	4	1
5319	says here you are feeling "fried"	1.0833	0.03280	72	66	6	0
5320	So how’s the low carb eating plan working for you?	1.0833	0.03598	60	55	5	0
5321	From Apes to couch potato - a big pharma assesment of human evolution	1.0824	0.02999	85	78	7	0
5322	Are you eating a starchy diet?	1.0822	0.03237	73	67	6	0
5323	You've already had it removed?	1.0822	0.03237	73	67	6	0
5324	sir, it looks like you have a Sevier case of mashed potatoes, sorry you have to tell the Mrs.	1.0822	0.03237	73	67	6	0
5325	Just a little prick. It won’t hurt.	1.0822	0.04253	73	69	2	2
5326	Have you considered starting a no carb diet?	1.0822	0.03237	73	67	6	0
5327	We've decided to take you off the homburg and try you on sombrero. And we want to see you back here in six weeks.	1.0822	0.03237	73	67	6	0
5328	A starch-free diet isn’t for everyone.	1.0820	0.03541	61	56	5	0
5329	It says here you were supposed to have fallen off a wall.	1.0820	0.03541	61	56	5	0
5330	“ your name is Humpty Dumpling?”	1.0820	0.03541	61	56	5	0
5331	I'm going to prescribe a Mrs. Potato Head	1.0814	0.03396	86	80	5	1
5332	Your the first Idahoan with facial identity crisis I've seen.	1.0811	0.03195	74	68	6	0
5333	I'd prefer to keep you in overnight for my own amusement.	1.0811	0.03729	74	69	4	1
5334	It looks to me like a case of chronic encephalitis.	1.0811	0.03195	74	68	6	0
5335	You say you sat on a - what?	1.0811	0.03729	74	69	4	1
5336	…and a referral to proctology regarding the glasses and shoes.	1.0811	0.04197	74	70	2	2
5337	It looks like you're made of plastic and that's why you're arms keep falling off	1.0806	0.03486	62	57	5	0
5338	A pad of butter and a touch of sour cream will perk you right up	1.0806	0.03486	62	57	5	0
5339	Time to really cut down on the carbs.	1.0806	0.03486	62	57	5	0
5340	I'm afraid you're going to have to cut down on carbs.- Bonnie Mahoney, NYC, NY	1.0806	0.03486	62	57	5	0
5341	Now let's take a look at those crinkle cuts!	1.0806	0.03486	62	57	5	0
5342	Thinking about mashed potatoes makes me sick	1.0806	0.04176	62	58	3	1
5343	You'll need to cut out the carbs. Colleen Rea Boulder, Colorado	1.0806	0.04176	62	58	3	1
5344	This is going to feel like I'm putting my finger up your, um, you do have a behind, don't you?	1.0805	0.02933	87	80	7	0
5345	So….you say just call me “Starchy?”	1.0805	0.02933	87	80	7	0
5346	So,ditch the steak,hop around and brace yourself for a bean takeover!	1.0805	0.03358	87	81	5	1
5347	Maybe try some protein. You're all carbs.	1.0800	0.03154	75	69	6	0
5348	Your heart is spuddering you say?	1.0800	0.03154	75	69	6	0
5349	You take small steps because, sad to say, you have no legs.	1.0800	0.03681	75	70	4	1
5350	Mainly, you need to become more active. Turn off the TV and get off the couch!	1.0800	0.03154	75	69	6	0
5351	I think you should cut way back on the carbs	1.0800	0.03154	75	69	6	0
5352	You need to be less starch.	1.0800	0.03154	75	69	6	0
5353	I think I am falling to pieces.	1.0800	0.03154	75	69	6	0
5354	So, you're tired of being a couch potato and you want do see a nutritionist?	1.0800	0.03154	75	69	6	0
5355	I’m afraid you’re going to have to cut down on the carbs.	1.0794	0.03433	63	58	5	0
5356	The Ozempic I prescribed seems to be effective? The side effects are what we expected.	1.0794	0.03433	63	58	5	0
5357	So your numbers indicate the low carb diet isn’t working.	1.0794	0.03433	63	58	5	0
5358	If the Mrs. isn't happy with your eye, I recommend using starch.	1.0794	0.04112	63	59	3	1
5359	So Mr. Spud is it?	1.0794	0.04112	63	59	3	1
5360	Too much carbohydrate ?	1.0794	0.03433	63	58	5	0
5361	First we have to find a potatohead who actually has a kidney.	1.0794	0.04112	63	59	3	1
5362	I recommend that you cut back a lttle on the french fries and potato chips.	1.0787	0.03285	89	83	5	1
5363	Your eyes look fine, so reproduction should be no problem.	1.0781	0.03381	64	59	5	0
5364	Legs aren't the only things you appear to be missing.	1.0781	0.03381	64	59	5	0
5365	I understand that you fell out of a tree.	1.0781	0.04049	64	60	3	1
5366	For example, if your triglycerides were lower, you wouldn't have been voiced in the film by Don Rickles.	1.0781	0.04049	64	60	3	1
5367	Have you tried yeast?	1.0781	0.03381	64	59	5	0
5368	Do you ever get the feeling that you’re a Hasro?	1.0781	0.03381	64	59	5	0
5369	Tests reveal that you may be suffering from a case of potato buzz	1.0781	0.04049	64	60	3	1
5370	I'm afraid you're as dysfunctional as our government.	1.0781	0.04049	64	60	3	1
5371	You no longer need your breeches !	1.0781	0.03381	64	59	5	0
5372	How do you feel about a low carb diet?	1.0781	0.04049	64	60	3	1
5373	We are still investigating this empty dumpty sensation.	1.0779	0.03075	77	71	6	0
5374	Your sinusitis is quite serious, but nothing a quick nose transplant can’t fix.	1.0779	0.03075	77	71	6	0
5375	Your chart indicates you’re depressed because the pick up sticks left you for the hula hoop.	1.0779	0.03075	77	71	6	0
5376	I’ve been telling you to cut down on the carbohydrates, but you just don’t seem to listen…	1.0778	0.02839	90	83	7	0
5377	Mr. Potato Head, it looks like you've had extensive plastic surgery work done.	1.0769	0.03037	78	72	6	0
5378	I'm sorry, but your insides are fried.	1.0769	0.03037	78	72	6	0
5379	So this won't be the worst, but it'll be up there.	1.0769	0.03543	78	73	4	1
5380	I'm sorry to say,insurance didn't cover the body-ectomy.	1.0769	0.04633	52	49	2	1
5381	Yes but did they put you back together again with your consent?	1.0769	0.03988	65	61	3	1
5382	You've got to cut down on fries, chips... really anything with starch.	1.0769	0.03331	65	60	5	0
5383	So, I see you are looking for definitive treatment of your spuds.	1.0769	0.03331	65	60	5	0
5384	Okay Spud, you said that you feel that you are withering on the vine?	1.0769	0.03037	78	72	6	0
5385	Your chart says you just woke up.	1.0769	0.03331	65	60	5	0
5386	All I need to do is remove it. I won’t judge you, but I don’t need an explanation of how the potato masher ended up as, um…junk in your trunk.	1.0759	0.03000	79	73	6	0
5387	So, we’re gonna need you to remove any…additional items before your exam.	1.0759	0.03000	79	73	6	0
5388	The only thing I can tell you, sir, is, "Lay off the potatoes!"	1.0759	0.03000	79	73	6	0
5389	I'm sorry, but you are going to have to go on a strict diet. No more french-fries, chips, hash browns...	1.0758	0.03929	66	62	3	1
5390	You are the most unhealthy person I have ever examined	1.0758	0.03282	66	61	5	0
5391	And what seem to be your problems?	1.0758	0.03282	66	61	5	0
5392	Well, rest assured Mr. Potato Head, penis enlargement surgery is a perfectly normal procedure	1.0758	0.03929	66	62	3	1
5393	Time for your quartlery glaucoma check	1.0758	0.03282	66	61	5	0
5394	You seem . . . disconnected, sir.	1.0758	0.03282	66	61	5	0
5395	It seems you badly misunderstood "carb-loading."	1.0758	0.03282	66	61	5	0
5396	Looks like your scallops	1.0758	0.03929	66	62	3	1
5397	You need to eat fewer potatoes.	1.0758	0.03282	66	61	5	0
5398	Stay away from chowders and fast-food restaurants.	1.0755	0.04547	53	50	2	1
5399	It might be cheaper to just buy replacements rather than come to an ENT.	1.0750	0.03456	80	75	4	1
5400	My father was a real spud; my generation had the plastic surgery...	1.0746	0.03871	67	63	3	1
5401	All the doctor wants to inspect	1.0746	0.03235	67	62	5	0
5402	So you say you've been working out?	1.0746	0.03235	67	62	5	0
5403	Yes, Mr. Fafoofnick, Coach Potato would describe your condition.	1.0746	0.03235	67	62	5	0
5404	Your carb loading is not helping…	1.0746	0.03235	67	62	5	0
5405	So you scramble and take off every time you see a frying pan; when was the first time you felt the urge to do that?	1.0746	0.03235	67	62	5	0
5406	Have you tried rooting out carbs?	1.0746	0.03235	67	62	5	0
5407	So you're having trouble with your kne es	1.0746	0.03871	67	63	3	1
5408	So, you are afraid of being mashed or roasted and want some Valium?	1.0741	0.03415	81	76	4	1
5409	I'm very sorry sir, but you seem to suffer from couch-potato-ism. On the upside, you're subscribed to all the major streaming services.	1.0741	0.03415	81	76	4	1
5410	I know it's personal, but I have to ask. Are you eating French Fries?	1.0741	0.02928	81	75	6	0
5411	Feeling fried seems to be your problem	1.0735	0.03189	68	63	5	0
5412	You never had anything below the waste, and we can't give you anything either.	1.0735	0.03189	68	63	5	0
5413	I’m sorry to say, your low carb diet is not working.	1.0735	0.03189	68	63	5	0
5414	Have you considered your wishes should you end up in other than a potative state?	1.0735	0.03815	68	64	3	1
5415	Sorry but you are allergic to starch.	1.0735	0.03815	68	64	3	1
5416	Blah, blah, blah, blah….you have the blahs”	1.0735	0.03189	68	63	5	0
5417	Doctor, I'm so confused, I thought all potatoes were fat and cholesterol free.	1.0735	0.03815	68	64	3	1
5418	Mr. PotatoHead, I've told you this before: you need to lay off the fries.	1.0732	0.02894	82	76	6	0
5419	And you say people want to eat you?	1.0727	0.03534	55	51	4	0
5420	I recommend you stay away from starchy foods." "But Doc, I got a family reunion this weekend!	1.0727	0.03534	55	51	4	0
5421	Mr. Potato Head, call you Yam-Yam Ma if I want to butter you up?	1.0725	0.03144	69	64	5	0
5422	Get your shoes off my exam table, ya fuckin' potato head.	1.0725	0.03144	69	64	5	0
5423	Stop calling me Dr. Quack Face...	1.0725	0.03761	69	65	3	1
5424	Just a few questions: Do you feel safe at home? Do you have butter, sour cream or chives in your house? Are any siblings mashed, baked or fried?	1.0725	0.03144	69	64	5	0
5425	Your health is fine. You are just packing some extra mush.	1.0725	0.03144	69	64	5	0
5426	Hmmm—any complaint besides headache?	1.0725	0.03144	69	64	5	0
5427	I feel a Little starchy today.	1.0725	0.03761	69	65	3	1
5428	Apparently some of your parts are still in the Hasbro box.	1.0725	0.03761	69	65	3	1
5429	So in the new commonplace vernacular - you are THE BIG GUY ???	1.0725	0.03144	69	64	5	0
5430	I really need to stop eating so many chips before bed.	1.0725	0.03144	69	64	5	0
5431	Your colonoscopy results came back. You have glasses and a spare to nose.	1.0725	0.03761	69	65	3	1
5432	Maybe you should cut back on your carbohydrates.	1.0723	0.02860	83	77	6	0
5433	You say you’ve been feeling a bit sluggish lately?	1.0723	0.03334	83	78	4	1
5434	Based on your MRI results, I can confirm it is, in fact, all potato under there.	1.0714	0.03100	70	65	5	0
5435	Well, for starters you don't need to keep referring to yourself as "Mister".	1.0714	0.03709	70	66	3	1
5436	But I am allergic to that medication	1.0714	0.03100	70	65	5	0
5437	Avoid French fries.	1.0714	0.03473	56	52	4	0
5438	So you’re having nightmares about French Fries. Don’t worry, they use uneducated potatoes.	1.0714	0.03709	70	66	3	1
5439	The next time you and your partner initiate intimacy, please take only the recommended dose."	1.0714	0.04307	56	53	2	1
5440	So, you're feeling more like a bucket of...whoa, that's not a nice word.	1.0714	0.03100	70	65	5	0
5441	Every time I look into a mirror, I just don't recognize myself..." Tracy Brown, Novato, CA	1.0714	0.04307	56	53	2	1
5442	Now, if you put the pills in some mashed potatoes, you won't even know they're there."	1.0714	0.02827	84	78	6	0
5443	I'm afraid I'm not legally allowed to use any Mrs. pieces once the Mr. pieces have been placed. I'm very sorry. Have you considered counseling?	1.0714	0.03100	70	65	5	0
5444	I'm afraid your body is rejecting your latest limb transplant.	1.0714	0.03100	70	65	5	0
5445	Sharing your buckets of fun with everyone creates a disease vector	1.0704	0.03058	71	66	5	0
5446	I’d like you to cut back on the starch.	1.0704	0.04171	71	68	1	2
5447	I suggest you stay away from greasy foods.	1.0704	0.03657	71	67	3	1
5448	Well the only test that was conclusive rules out any allergic reaction to nightshades like peppers or potatoes.	1.0704	0.03058	71	66	5	0
5449	You really need to cut down your carbs!	1.0704	0.03058	71	66	5	0
5450	Your prostate exam should be fairly straightforward- I don't expect you to go to pieces over it.	1.0704	0.03058	71	66	5	0
5451	You've got a choice: either cut out oil or increase salt and ketchup intake.	1.0704	0.03657	71	67	3	1
5452	I think using a selfie stick like that should be fine.	1.0704	0.03058	71	66	5	0
5453	Nothing unusual on your exam results, come back in a year.	1.0704	0.03058	71	66	5	0
5454	But do you really need all that starch?	1.0704	0.03058	71	66	5	0
5455	I'm sorry, Spud, but there's nothing I can do for you. All the blight experts are in Ireland.	1.0704	0.03058	71	66	5	0
5456	Unfortunately, it's not a migraine. It's diarrhea.	1.0694	0.03017	72	67	5	0
5457	Can you poop out some potatoes?	1.0694	0.03607	72	68	3	1
5458	You need to get more rest...on the couch.	1.0694	0.03607	72	68	3	1
5459	I'm recommending that you avoid french fries	1.0690	0.04161	58	55	2	1
5460	We need to talk about your carb intake.	1.0690	0.03356	58	54	4	0
5461	It's all a very simple outpatient procedure.	1.0685	0.02977	73	68	5	0
5462	Putting you on a diet. No Carbs!	1.0685	0.02977	73	68	5	0
5463	I see the keto diet is not working.	1.0685	0.02977	73	68	5	0
5464	You have very high cholesterol. I would lay off the potatoes.	1.0685	0.02977	73	68	5	0
5465	We’ll, we’ve managed to put you back together again, but I’d really recommend breaking your habit of sitting on walls.	1.0685	0.02977	73	68	5	0
5466	I don't know Dr. I just feel run down all time, could it be seasonal? It is is blight season after all!	1.0685	0.03559	73	69	3	1
5467	I understand that you have been feeling a little off and the green pigment of your skin points to trouble . We need some tests.	1.0685	0.02977	73	68	5	0
5468	Yes, the low-carb diet craze is definitely extending your lifespan!	1.0685	0.02977	73	68	5	0
5469	Yes, I AM the neurologist on call, but you’ll never fit into the CAT scan.	1.0685	0.02977	73	68	5	0
5470	You need to use more salt and pepper.	1.0685	0.02977	73	68	5	0
5471	You have to cut down on your carbs.	1.0685	0.02977	73	68	5	0
5472	We're hoping to have one for you eventually.	1.0678	0.03301	59	55	4	0
5473	Unfortunately you're not the spud you use to be, so Viagra will help.	1.0678	0.03301	59	55	4	0
5474	Says here next of kin is Dicamatic.	1.0676	0.02938	74	69	5	0
5475	Chicken legs.	1.0676	0.02938	74	69	5	0
5476	Sorry to have to tell you,based on your lab work,it looks like we're going to have to slice you open	1.0676	0.02938	74	69	5	0
5477	No - and I am sorry Mr. Head - but I can’t just ‘pop’ a new colon into you.	1.0667	0.03466	75	71	3	1
5478	Well, evidence is clear. You’re consuming a dangerous of amount of carbohydrates.	1.0667	0.03247	60	56	4	0
5479	Don’t worry about Phytophthora infestans. That’s all in your head!	1.0667	0.02900	75	70	5	0
5480	I am glad to hear that Mrs. Potato Head loves it. Here is your prescription for more little blue pills.	1.0667	0.04024	60	57	2	1
5481	Your vital signs look great, Sir. Now, where did I leave that spud spike?	1.0667	0.02900	75	70	5	0
5482	I understand Mr. P, but a keto diet just isn't a good fit for you.	1.0667	0.02900	75	70	5	0
5483	And most importantly, don't forget to take Dramamine before you go to sleep each night!	1.0667	0.03247	60	56	4	0
5484	Your starch levels are a little high,but all in all,you've weathered the famine rather well.	1.0658	0.03421	76	72	3	1
5485	Your problem is carbs.	1.0656	0.03196	61	57	4	0
5486	My wife won’t sleep with me now that she’s become a vegan.”	1.0656	0.03959	61	58	2	1
5487	You see, everyone can peel you of. Here's my receipt:	1.0656	0.03959	61	58	2	1
5488	I don't think there is a pill that can hlep you save face."	1.0645	0.03145	62	58	4	0
5489	Sitting is the new smoking, I prescribe a couch-detox sir !!!	1.0645	0.03145	62	58	4	0
5490	why did you stop taking 2 aspirins a day as per my prescription? Now it's too late to get back into shape	1.0645	0.03145	62	58	4	0
5491	No – if we swapped your medications as well, you'd be dead.	1.0645	0.03896	62	59	2	1
5492	Diet and exercise, diet and exercise.	1.0645	0.03145	62	58	4	0
5493	To be frank with you I prefer pumpkin soup over potato soup, please don't be offended.	1.0645	0.03145	62	58	4	0
5494	Well,I guess can prescribe some anti-humptadumpferfall.	1.0641	0.03335	78	74	3	1
5495	...so how long have you had this spuddering problem?	1.0641	0.02791	78	73	5	0
5496	Well, Mr. Dumpty - I suggest that you have some physical therapy for your balance issues. In your condition, we don't want to risk a fall, do we?	1.0641	0.02791	78	73	5	0
5497	According to these results, Epstein didn't kill himself... Wait, where's Shelly?	1.0638	0.04716	47	45	1	1
5498	I DON'T THINK THE OZEMPIC IS WORKING.	1.0635	0.03097	63	59	4	0
5499	I have a good news and a bad news. The bad news is that you are suffering from a severe case of 'mashxiety', the good news is that I can help you me peel better.	1.0635	0.03097	63	59	4	0
5500	Mr. Head, if you don't stay out of the kitchen, you risk being mashed, baked, or french fried. Then, we cannot help you.	1.0635	0.03097	63	59	4	0
5501	I know a great psychiatrist.	1.0633	0.02757	79	74	5	0
5502	I recommend less couch.	1.0625	0.03050	64	60	4	0
5503	I recommend that you cut back on starch.	1.0625	0.03050	64	60	4	0
5504	I’m afraid you are turning into a couch potato	1.0625	0.03050	64	60	4	0
5505	We commie doctors can't tell anyone's gender. And you give us all conniption fits.	1.0625	0.02723	80	75	5	0
5506	So, you'd like to petition for less leg room on airplanes.	1.0625	0.03253	80	76	3	1
5507	Well, the tests confirmed those are benign tubers so nothing to worry about. Keep doing those couch exercises and stay away from burgers and soda.	1.0625	0.03050	64	60	4	0
5508	I recommend Tylenol for the headache and LSD for boring work meetings, Mrs. Johnson.	1.0625	0.03050	64	60	4	0
5509	I have your test results Monsieur PommeFrites, both your sodium level and your cholesterol are sky high.	1.0625	0.03776	64	61	2	1
5510	What you need to appreciate is that,	1.0625	0.03776	64	61	2	1
5511	How are you coping with climate change?	1.0625	0.03050	64	60	4	0
5512	I'd recommend some pants if you want people to stop calling you a bad carb.	1.0615	0.03004	65	61	4	0
5513	I know, I know, but you have to cut down on starches.	1.0615	0.03719	65	62	2	1
5514	Um. Your brother Humpty was here yesterday Jumpy. He wass all broken up	1.0606	0.02960	66	62	4	0
5515	I know you’re depressed that the Red Skins changed their name rather than their logo, but we need to let it go and move on.	1.0606	0.02960	66	62	4	0
5516	After my careful examination of you, I suggest that you get rid of the mustache	1.0606	0.02960	66	62	4	0
5517	Mr Potato Head.. last time in my office you complained about constipation issues resulting over-starchy diet..before your visit I had a skinny Mr Potato Headversion.. suffering from hemroids..Barack Obama..He did alot of cocaine in the white house .	1.0606	0.03663	66	63	2	1
5518	Perhaps, Mr. Potatoe, you should use an extender?	1.0606	0.02960	66	62	4	0
5519	I commend your decision to open up to a proctologist.	1.0602	0.02628	83	78	5	0
5520	Well, you’re very high in vitamin C	1.0597	0.02916	67	63	4	0
5521	New legs? We have to put you on a low starch diet first.	1.0597	0.02916	67	63	4	0
5522	You've gotten a bit overweight. I suggest that you lose about 15 tots.	1.0597	0.04189	67	65	0	2
5523	Exam confirms..You're still a Mr...Mr. Potato Head	1.0588	0.02875	68	64	4	0
5524	So, Mr. Potato Head, what part of your head is ailing you?	1.0588	0.02875	68	64	4	0
5525	Have you considered cutting out nightshades?	1.0588	0.02875	68	64	4	0
5526	So, your test results have come back and it shows that you’re more likely to turn up mashed than french fried.	1.0588	0.02875	68	64	4	0
5527	We need to lower your carb intake since your A1C is elevated”	1.0580	0.02834	69	65	4	0
5528	Your antibodies are through the roof…..but that’s normal.	1.0580	0.02834	69	65	4	0
5529	A lifetime of carbs has taken its toll, I see, but I think these pills can keep you out of the deep fryer for years to come.	1.0580	0.02834	69	65	4	0
5530	How many spare parts are left in your box?	1.0571	0.02794	70	66	4	0
5531	What makes you so sure it's not colon cancer?	1.0571	0.03457	70	67	2	1
5532	Since you quit smoking that pipe, your airway has really cleared up.	1.0571	0.02794	70	66	4	0
5533	I see you have given up on the low-carb diet, Mr Potato Head.	1.0571	0.02794	70	66	4	0
5534	Definitely a low-carb diet and, for pain, fewer parts-n-pieces.	1.0566	0.03205	53	50	3	0
5535	I feel a bit starchy today, Doc.	1.0563	0.02756	71	67	4	0
5536	It's by weekly injection. It worked for Oprah.	1.0563	0.02756	71	67	4	0
5537	Your vision looks 20-20, but your eyes might need an ophthalmologist.	1.0563	0.02756	71	67	4	0
5538	Forget what she said. It’s only a bruise, there are plenty of fish in the sea.	1.0556	0.02718	72	68	4	0
5539	I'm writing you a stronger hormone prescription, Mrs. Potato Head. But, I'm afraid I can't guarantee the moustache will entirely disappear.	1.0556	0.03362	72	69	2	1
5540	Your starch is high. But but no worries about a strok, since you don't have a circulatory system.	1.0556	0.02718	72	68	4	0
5541	Potato ,patato, you have no legs, sir.”	1.0541	0.02647	74	70	4	0
5542	regarding your weight …don’t eat your young	1.0541	0.02647	74	70	4	0
5543	Now where did you last see this pickle.	1.0541	0.02647	74	70	4	0
5544	Don't worry... your mommy and daddy will be here very soon.	1.0541	0.02647	74	70	4	0
5545	Mr. Potato, I regret to inform you that your shelf life is about to expire.	1.0541	0.03796	74	72	0	2
5546	For cases like mine, I suppose one could technically refer to you as a BENT.	1.0541	0.02647	74	70	4	0
5547	We'll be able to get your other ear reattached after my proctologist appointment this afternoon.	1.0536	0.03036	56	53	3	0
5548	Ozempic can have you slim as a french fry by summer	1.0526	0.02984	57	54	3	0
5549	Be assured, there will be no M.A.S.H. reruns.	1.0526	0.02578	76	72	4	0
5550	You've got to cut back on the carbs.	1.0519	0.02546	77	73	4	0
5551	It's all normal, almost. But why do you insist that potatoes don't belong to the vegetarian diet?	1.0517	0.02933	58	55	3	0
5552	Your skin is fine, but you really have to cut back on the carbohydrates.	1.0513	0.02514	78	74	4	0
5553	No more rubbing on the cheese grates, here's the best spud prescription ever.	1.0508	0.03764	59	57	1	1
5554	If those are the two choices, I’d have to go with “long waisted.”	1.0508	0.02885	59	56	3	0
5555	We could argue that you have unalienable natural rights as a tuber to become a trans leafy green.	1.0508	0.02885	59	56	3	0
5556	It looks like your bowels are clogged with pending nominations	1.0506	0.02482	79	75	4	0
5557	Mr. Potato Head, I'm afraid your MRI scan has been put permanently on hold.	1.0500	0.02837	60	57	3	0
5558	I just got my hearing back, what seems to be the problem now?	1.0494	0.02422	81	77	4	0
5559	No vertigo,no nausea,no arrhythmia. You	1.0492	0.02792	61	58	3	0
5560	Tell me when your hemorroids first started to bother you	1.0492	0.03641	61	59	1	1
5561	Tests are negative for blight, but I would still recommend you refrain from moving around body parts.	1.0492	0.03641	61	59	1	1
5562	You need a triple organ transplant - don't worry, it will be painless.	1.0492	0.02792	61	58	3	0
5563	The good news, other than a few skin blemishes, you're the peak of potato health. The bad news, people actually eat potatoes, Mr. Wedge.	1.0492	0.02792	61	58	3	0
5564	You really should consider cutting down on the carbohydrates in your diet."	1.0484	0.03583	62	60	1	1
5565	Hello, Dr. Quayle here. Let me clarify your spelling. It is Potatoe I believe. Randall Jordal Evergreen, Colorado	1.0484	0.02747	62	59	3	0
5566	Good news, sex reassignment surgery won't be necessary for you.	1.0484	0.02747	62	59	3	0
5567	Your blood screen test came back and it looks like your protein, sodium, total carbohydrate and total sugars levels are within normal range, but I’d like to see better vitamin D, dietary fiber and calcium percentages.	1.0476	0.02705	63	60	3	0
5568	I’m afraid we’re going to have to remove your eyes.	1.0476	0.02705	63	60	3	0
5569	Today is Halloween and you should be very nervous!	1.0469	0.03472	64	62	1	1
5570	Upset because your wife won't give Mr. Potato head?	1.0469	0.02663	64	61	3	0
5571	You have a potato body shape. It's time to cut down on carbs.	1.0469	0.02663	64	61	3	0
5572	I'm recommending a low carb diet. There are plenty of vegetarian options on it.	1.0465	0.02284	86	82	4	0
5573	Just because you dress like us does not make you one of us. Now take that silly stuff off and get down to the kitchen. We're still having spaghetti squash for the staff dinner tonight."	1.0462	0.03419	65	63	1	1
5574	Mr. Dumpty, we have succeeded where all the King’s horses and all the King’s men failed. This effort did not come cheap….	1.0462	0.02623	65	62	3	0
5575	Maybe we should start working on your arms and legs.	1.0462	0.02623	65	62	3	0
5576	Have you been baking a lot in the sun lately, because you are missing all your vital nutrients?	1.0455	0.03367	66	64	1	1
5577	You are going to have to lie flat for me to examine you.	1.0455	0.03367	66	64	1	1
5578	So you've been feeling "fried" lately?	1.0455	0.02584	66	63	3	0
5579	I'm afraid we're going to have to cut your eyes out.	1.0448	0.02546	67	64	3	0
5580	I have some concerns about your shape, but the good news is there are new drugs for male pattern baldness!	1.0435	0.02473	69	66	3	0
5581	You yam what you yam!	1.0423	0.02404	71	68	3	0
5582	You need to stop participating in the Mr Potato Head game!	1.0417	0.03088	72	70	1	1
5583	Actually due the size of the opening the prostate exam will be considerably more invasive.	1.0417	0.02372	72	69	3	0
5584	Well, Mr. “Head”, was it? Forgive me, but I’m surprised this is your first time receiving a leprosy diagnosis.	1.0417	0.02372	72	69	3	0
5585	I would suggest that you apply for the vacant position of CEO of the French fries factory.	1.0417	0.03088	72	70	1	1
5586	I'm sorry, plastic surgery doesn't give refunds.	1.0411	0.02339	73	70	3	0
5587	Most tuberosities have ligaments or tendons attached. In your case it's a chevron.	1.0400	0.02278	75	72	3	0
5588	Mr. Rickles, it wasn't real. It was just a movie.	1.0385	0.02693	52	50	2	0
5589	Do you have any idea where you're heading in life?	1.0375	0.02137	80	77	3	0
5590	Mr. Trumpty,your only alternative is a good shellacking.	1.0370	0.02111	81	78	3	0
5591	Most everything checks out ok except it looks like you need to cut back on starch in your diet. Do you consume a lot of potatoes?"	1.0366	0.02713	82	80	1	1
5592	You have diabetes, so no more carbs or you’ll be under the dirt again.	1.0364	0.02547	55	53	2	0
5593	You still need to cut back on your starch.	1.0357	0.02502	56	54	2	0
5594	I'm afraid a vasectomy would not be appropriate in your case.	1.0345	0.03448	58	57	0	1
5595	Mrs Potato-face say I'm missing a Potato-faced lady, the doctor says "everyone needs a Potato-faced lady"	1.0323	0.02262	62	60	2	0
5596	Your lab results are in and everything appears to be in order.	1.0317	0.02227	63	61	2	0
5597	I need to listen to your chest, can you remove your jacket please?	1.0317	0.02227	63	61	2	0
5598	Would you like our vegan option?	1.0317	0.02227	63	61	2	0
5599	You're getting too much potassium.	1.0308	0.02159	65	63	2	0
5600	Your cholesterol is undetectable, but I am afraid all that starch increases your risk of diabetes	1.0303	0.02126	66	64	2	0
5601	So I guess low-carb is out?	1.0303	0.02126	66	64	2	0
5602	You're a perfect specimen so steer clear of sour cream, butter, chives, salt, and kitchen knives.	1.0299	0.02095	67	65	2	0
5603	My best before date stood me up.	1.0294	0.02064	68	66	2	0
5604	I'm gonna beat you with a spoon.	1.0290	0.02034	69	67	2	0
5605	You should really cut down on the carbs.	1.0270	0.01898	74	72	2	0
5606	I warned you about the side effects of a strict potato diet.	1.0182	0.01835	55	54	1	0
5607	Have you tried meditation for the peeling issue.	1.0169	0.01709	59	58	1	0
5608	Because we’re a republic you’ll be OK.	1.0159	0.01600	63	62	1	0
5609	Are you envious of your brother, Mr Potato Head?	1.0156	0.01575	64	63	1	0
5610	So,when did you first experience this out-of-body feeling?	1.0154	0.01550	65	64	1	0
5611	Your test results this year are generally okay,but can you lay off the salt and melted cheese?	1.0000	0.01942	52	52	0	0

Contest #873

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