Contest #873 Summary

Name	Value
Submission deadline	-
Voting started	-
Voting ended	-
Finalists announced	-
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued	-
Number of captions	5612
Number of responses	669646
Number of participants	-

Rank	Caption	Mean	Precision	Total votes	"Unfunny" votes	"Somewhat funny" votes	"Funny" votes
0	Congratulations. We've found millions of compatible donors.	1.7939	0.01875	1718	732	608	378
1	You might want to put on your surprised eyebrows for what I’m about to say.	1.7816	0.01377	3453	1590	1027	836
2	What is your level of pain? Six-potato, seven-potato, eight-potato, more?	1.7709	0.01961	1750	835	481	434
3	At your age, just be thankful you still have all your original parts.	1.7590	0.01510	2610	1167	905	538
4	You're in good hands. He's in 4th grade and has performed hundreds of these surgeries since kindergarden	1.7506	0.01543	2634	1236	819	579
5	So is it Mr. Potāto, or Mr. Potäto?	1.7480	0.01557	2579	1213	803	563
6	A bit less time on the couch, perhaps.	1.7391	0.01558	2507	1175	811	521
7	Have you tried pulling it out and putting it back in?	1.7388	0.01559	2577	1231	788	558
8	Yes sir, we can schedule you for the nose job. But it’ll cost you an arm and a leg.	1.7366	0.01874	1758	835	551	372
9	It doesn't look good, I'm afraid. You have a tuber.	1.7359	0.01953	1613	765	509	339
10	Your bloodwork is back. I’ve never seen this before - it just says, “Needs salt.”	1.7311	0.01775	1967	945	606	416
11	Correct, Mr. Tater, tying your tubers means no more tots.	1.7210	0.01616	2556	1309	651	596
12	Well in my experience these things don't just fall off.	1.7157	0.01570	2385	1136	791	458
13	We'll have to do more tests, but it appears you're in a vegetative state.	1.7118	0.01704	2085	1018	650	417
14	''We can rule out your neck.''	1.7076	0.01538	2534	1238	799	497
15	The problem appears to be all in your head.	1.7039	0.01504	2641	1295	833	513
16	No more butter, sour cream, bacon, cheese or salt.	1.7031	0.01570	2482	1237	745	500
17	When was the last time you had your eyes replaced?	1.7030	0.01865	1596	750	570	276
18	Do you spend much time on your couch?	1.6994	0.01871	1700	838	535	327
19	I keep telling you, french fries will be the death of you.	1.6885	0.01629	2363	1223	653	487
20	It’s all in your head.	1.6876	0.01453	2804	1405	870	529
21	Second opinion? I think you're delicious.	1.6865	0.02127	1314	661	404	249
22	So how are the tots doing?	1.6821	0.01458	2812	1429	848	535
23	Good news: I believe we can just turn that frown upside down	1.6751	0.01813	1668	816	578	274
24	Don’t worry. This surgery is child’s play.	1.6693	0.01776	1624	773	615	236
25	Initial test results from the colonoscopy indicate we have located your glasses, your angry eyes, and your wife's purse.	1.6652	0.01853	1822	977	478	367
26	Stay away from the butter, sour cream and chives and you'll live a lot longer	1.6600	0.01965	1450	736	471	243
27	Let's pull off a shoe and check your prostate.	1.6592	0.02072	1385	728	401	256
28	You skipped the end-of-life directive. What'll it be pal? French, Scalloped, or Mashed?	1.6554	0.01959	1544	815	446	283
29	In your case, smoking pot and getting baked has very different consequences.	1.6539	0.01869	1670	876	496	298
30	Your cholesterol is fine, but your starch level is off the charts.	1.6507	0.01797	1709	874	558	277
31	This procedure will stop you from having tots.	1.6476	0.01712	2131	1173	536	422
32	Luckily, you're a great candidate for a transplant.	1.6470	0.01724	1847	948	603	296
33	According to your chart you can literally turn that frown upside down	1.6461	0.02134	1229	638	388	203
34	My god, Larry, has no one ever told you that you are what you eat?	1.6412	0.01731	1965	1057	556	352
35	Your potassium is a little high.	1.6330	0.01813	1564	794	550	220
36	This procedure usually involves long, complex plastic surgery. But in your case, I could give you a completely new nose in under a minute.	1.6296	0.01814	1582	813	542	227
37	Normally a full facial reconstruction is an arduous procedure but in your case….	1.6250	0.01832	1512	773	533	206
38	I know you're Mr. Potato Head, but the toy company just never made the part you're inquiring about. I'm sorry.	1.6250	0.01996	1496	831	395	270
39	And where, exactly, are you feeling this headache?	1.6232	0.02000	1457	802	402	253
40	We’ll change out a few parts and you’ll be a new man.	1.6229	0.01925	1379	710	479	190
41	You look good for a man in your shape.	1.6185	0.01939	1342	692	470	180
42	We're transferring you to MASH.	1.6158	0.02185	1140	613	352	175
43	Stop stressing. Losing body parts is just part of the aging process.	1.6154	0.01985	1269	655	447	167
44	We’ve run the DNA, Mr P. The tots are yours.	1.6143	0.02069	1501	883	314	304
45	The x-rays revealed 2 pairs of shoes, 3 hats, and what appears to be an extra nose.	1.6141	0.02083	1244	668	388	188
46	How long have you been peeling like this?	1.6107	0.02068	1220	648	399	173
47	Your plastic surgery looks like it was done by a kindergartner.	1.6011	0.02240	1078	592	324	162
48	When did you first notice your knee problem?	1.5998	0.02567	832	461	243	128
49	I’m afraid it’s a tuber.	1.5996	0.02311	1079	613	285	181
50	We have to remove everything.	1.5986	0.02309	1009	555	304	150
51	You may want to put on your surprised eyebrows for this	1.5888	0.02499	980	584	215	181
52	So I’m just going to pop that ear out and have a look	1.5878	0.02335	997	561	286	150
53	And you say it just fell off?	1.5870	0.02313	1000	559	295	146
54	Besides the persistent vegetative state, everything else looks good.	1.5862	0.02363	1003	574	270	159
55	Apparently the kit does not include ALL the desired body parts...	1.5852	0.02532	904	527	225	152
56	If your sugars get any higher you will be a sweet potato.	1.5844	0.02510	883	505	240	138
57	According to your chart, I haven't seen you since I was ten.	1.5819	0.02770	830	510	157	163
58	You appear to have a detachment disorder.	1.5806	0.02519	868	497	238	133
59	The good news is that from the neck up you are fine; the bad news is that we cannot find the rest of you.	1.5806	0.02558	825	468	235	122
60	Your DNA results... You are definitely not Irish but you do have deep roots in Idaho.	1.5800	0.02459	881	497	257	127
61	Remember, just because something fits into an orifice doesn’t mean it should.	1.5781	0.02561	922	555	201	166
62	For nose jobs, I send all my patients to Alison in Mrs. Armstrong's kindergarten class.	1.5747	0.02549	837	481	231	125
63	It may be tuberculous.	1.5742	0.02571	862	507	215	140
64	The only diagnosis I can come up with is half-baked.	1.5739	0.02531	873	509	227	137
65	Idaho, huh? Heard that’s a beautiful state.	1.5700	0.02729	721	415	201	105
66	I want you to apply sour cream at mealtime.	1.5680	0.02560	838	489	222	127
67	As I thought, it's terminal. What do you wish us to do with your remains? Chips? Fries? Vodka?	1.5637	0.02733	793	483	173	137
68	Good news. Your tuber is benign.	1.5601	0.02763	741	444	179	118
69	Try a different nose for the congestion.	1.5592	0.02734	735	435	189	111
70	It appears it's all in your head.	1.5588	0.02840	655	381	182	92
71	I'm worried about your potassium level.	1.5584	0.02825	634	362	190	82
72	Would you be open to plastic inserts?	1.5561	0.02797	624	352	197	75
73	Great news. Your gender reassignment surgery will be a breeze.	1.5559	0.02764	725	433	181	111
74	The operation will take about three seconds.	1.5526	0.02804	646	373	189	84
75	No need to be alarmed, it's just a sprout.	1.5519	0.02834	645	376	182	87
76	Welcome to your new life in Witness Protection	1.5509	0.02899	648	387	165	96
77	I've never had a patient with such a morbid fear of sour cream.	1.5508	0.02912	581	332	178	71
78	In layman's terms, you're a couch potato.	1.5494	0.02816	668	395	179	94
79	No worries. These days people will understand if you want to become Mrs. Potato Head.	1.5491	0.02753	703	417	186	100
80	My advice is to stay away from mayonnaise, mustard, celery, green peppers, and sliced eggs	1.5453	0.02887	607	354	175	78
81	Just tell me how you got up there.	1.5443	0.02941	610	363	162	85
82	First, how did you get up on the examination table?	1.5430	0.02856	639	379	173	87
83	Are you sure this is your first plastic surgery?	1.5421	0.02808	605	346	190	69
84	Get plenty of rest and stay in a cool, dark cellar.	1.5398	0.02888	591	344	175	72
85	I suggest you quit while you're a head.	1.5392	0.03051	612	380	134	98
86	Viagra won’t help. The only thing I can suggest is that you keep looking around until you find it.	1.5392	0.03212	549	340	122	87
87	You Tuber?	1.5383	0.03137	509	299	146	64
88	It's a simple procedure, if we can find a right ear donor.	1.5378	0.03054	569	343	146	80
89	Fortunately for you, I did my residency at the Mayo Clinic.	1.5363	0.03024	619	385	136	98
90	From my assessment, it looks like you really need to get off the couch more often.	1.5354	0.02878	594	348	174	72
91	Now, how much time do you spend on the couch?	1.5331	0.02838	619	366	176	77
92	Now, let's see if we can turn that frown upside down.	1.5328	0.02897	610	365	165	80
93	So what brings you to the Mayo Clinic?	1.5299	0.03839	385	242	82	61
94	Now what’s this about having eyes in the back of your head?	1.5296	0.03106	557	342	135	80
95	If you could please remove your hat and eyes, we can take a look.	1.5294	0.03047	510	297	156	57
96	Ireland? Really? Of all the places in the world you want to go to Ireland?	1.5288	0.03201	469	275	140	54
97	As we suspected, it’s a tuber.	1.5272	0.03212	514	315	127	72
98	the good news is that we have lots of replacement parts!	1.5269	0.03114	520	312	142	66
99	You might want to put your sad eyes on for this...	1.5258	0.03030	542	324	151	67
100	Good news. Your abdominal scan showed nothing.	1.5219	0.03093	548	337	136	75
101	It says here that you have a fear of frying.	1.5211	0.04396	261	158	70	33
102	I’m glad to see you gave up the pipe.	1.5202	0.03135	494	295	141	58
103	The good news is that we can complete the sex change operation in about a minute	1.5193	0.03268	493	305	120	68
104	I think we can give you a new nose without too much trouble.	1.5190	0.03046	499	293	153	53
105	Just for fun, I'd like to run some tests putting your ears where your eyes go and turning your nose upside down	1.5187	0.03273	509	320	114	75
106	So, how's the knee?	1.5164	0.03216	488	298	128	62
107	The problem seems to be all in your head.	1.5154	0.03285	456	276	125	55
108	Good news The prostate exam found nothing. Absolutely nothing.	1.5135	0.04253	296	186	68	42
109	Unfortunately, the copay is an arm and a leg.	1.5132	0.03383	454	282	111	61
110	Have you checked under the couch?	1.5102	0.03520	392	238	108	46
111	We're going to have to just push it back in and hope it stays on.	1.5099	0.03679	353	213	100	40
112	II’m afraid it is tuberculosis	1.5096	0.03277	471	291	120	60
113	Frankly, it's all in your head	1.5095	0.03270	475	294	120	61
114	It’s simple. We take the old one out, and put a new one in.	1.5094	0.03405	424	259	114	51
115	Well we typically don’t recommend such frequent facial reconstruction	1.5094	0.03144	481	290	137	54
116	If it falls off again, don’t panic.	1.5090	0.03363	442	272	115	55
117	It’s the blight. If there’s been anyone other than the Mrs. you should notify them.	1.5081	0.03601	372	226	103	43
118	There's no easy way to say this, but the tuber has spread throughout your entire body.	1.5079	0.03373	443	274	113	56
119	As long as you keep your eyes peeled, you won't need glasses	1.5069	0.03620	432	281	83	68
120	Let's pop out those eyes and have a look, shall we?	1.5067	0.03588	446	292	82	72
121	Says here you're from Maine. I would have guessed Idaho.	1.5046	0.03250	434	260	129	45
122	Your carbohydrates are complex.	1.5036	0.03364	411	248	119	44
123	Touching your toes is not enough exercise.	1.5012	0.03689	401	259	83	59
124	On the plus side, most of your parts can be replaced.	1.5012	0.03410	415	255	112	48
125	We have you scheduled for rearrangement on Thursday.	1.5000	0.03387	386	230	119	37
126	You have a 102 degree fever, sir; what we call a hot potato.	1.4980	0.04300	255	156	71	28
127	A vasectomy will prevent you from having tater tots.	1.4941	0.03420	427	269	105	53
128	All the results were good. But I'd like to send you for a microwave.	1.4934	0.03644	377	238	92	47
129	It's the carbs.	1.4922	0.03556	384	240	99	45
130	So, Mr. Head, how long have you had this fear of frying?	1.4908	0.03691	381	245	85	51
131	Cute. But I need more specifics than "I yam how I yam."	1.4894	0.03592	376	236	96	44
132	I’m not sure if turning you into Mrs. Potato Head is legal in Florida.”	1.4852	0.03899	371	249	64	58
133	We do need a first name.	1.4846	0.03848	324	204	83	37
134	But you DO have eyes in back of your head!	1.4846	0.03897	324	206	79	39
135	And substances? How often do you get "baked?"	1.4828	0.03417	408	257	105	46
136	What do you mean when you say you feel “empty inside?”	1.4817	0.03812	328	207	84	37
137	You’re not going to like my attachable glove.	1.4793	0.04256	338	237	40	61
138	We’ve talked about this; I can get you new ears anytime, but only in pink.	1.4783	0.03718	345	219	87	39
139	Gender affirming treatment, in your case, is relatively straightforward. I'll go get the parts out of my toy box.	1.4772	0.04016	329	218	65	46
140	Well I think we can rule out the prostate.	1.4767	0.03812	365	242	72	51
141	I don't give this advice to many other patients, but with a couple pounds of butter and a few pounds of bacon, you'll be just right.	1.4762	0.03669	357	228	88	41
142	You’re spending to much time on the couch.”	1.4759	0.03807	353	231	76	46
143	Great news, you're in top shape. The missus and I would like to have you for dinner.	1.4742	0.04139	291	189	66	36
144	And it just pops right off?	1.4738	0.03862	325	209	78	38
145	You have an STD. Seems that lady potato you were with last week was an I-da-ho.	1.4737	0.04007	342	231	60	51
146	You definitely need to get off the couch more often.	1.4737	0.03442	361	222	107	32
147	It appears there’s too much starch in your diet.	1.4732	0.03861	336	219	75	42
148	Please remove your shoes and eyes.	1.4728	0.03618	349	220	93	36
149	To summarize, you are having difficulty getting yourself back together.	1.4726	0.03835	328	211	79	38
150	I'm afraid it's a brain tuber.	1.4720	0.03857	339	222	74	43
151	Your problems are all in your head.	1.4713	0.03974	331	220	66	45
152	Mr. PoTAYto or PoTAHto?	1.4708	0.03898	342	227	69	46
153	It's just a head cold.	1.4697	0.03719	330	209	87	34
154	I see that you declined knee replacement surgery.	1.4691	0.03967	324	214	68	42
155	So, tell me about this position McDonald's offered you.	1.4677	0.03920	310	200	75	35
156	Your test results came back - your vitamin C is good, your potassium is good, your carbs are a little high...	1.4659	0.03594	352	224	92	36
157	I can refer you to an excellent six year old.	1.4658	0.03708	322	203	88	31
158	Now pass me your ears and we'll check your hearing.	1.4658	0.04097	292	191	66	35
159	The x-ray shows you’ll be a vegetable for the rest of your life.	1.4656	0.04028	320	214	63	43
160	I'm not peeling well	1.4655	0.03862	333	219	73	41
161	Congratulations! You've been voted Speaker of the House.	1.4644	0.04367	295	204	45	46
162	When did you first notice that your body parts are, as you say, “interchangeable”?	1.4642	0.03690	321	202	89	30
163	In your case, gender reassignment consists primarily in removing the mustache.	1.4641	0.04010	306	201	68	37
164	Well, that depends on how you define "vegetative state".	1.4640	0.04063	278	178	71	29
165	The bad news: your eyes are failing. The good news: you can grow more.	1.4635	0.03846	315	203	78	34
166	Sprouting is normal at your age, just keep the hat on	1.4633	0.03784	313	199	83	31
167	More Bad news, it looks like your beginning to sprout!	1.4627	0.04305	268	177	58	33
168	I think it's all in your head	1.4623	0.04125	292	193	63	36
169	I replace knees. I don’t add knees.	1.4604	0.03832	328	215	75	38
170	Okay, now I just need you to remove your accessories and put on a gown.	1.4601	0.03725	326	209	84	33
171	How frequently is it that you find your eyes in your ears?	1.4598	0.03908	311	203	73	35
172	Turns out, it’s all in your head.	1.4596	0.04094	272	175	69	28
173	I know how to put a smile back on your face.	1.4589	0.04152	292	195	60	37
174	I’m referring you to a plastic surgeon.	1.4585	0.04058	301	200	64	37
175	I can only tell you one thing: avoid very hot places in France.	1.4582	0.04023	299	197	67	35
176	So, your chart says you're not peeling well?	1.4561	0.03790	296	187	83	26
177	Please remove your nose.	1.4560	0.03738	318	204	83	31
178	We ran the paternity test- the tater tots are definitely yours	1.4557	0.04017	305	203	65	37
179	Unfortunately the scans do show a tuber.	1.4555	0.04274	281	190	54	37
180	You should get off the couch more.	1.4545	0.03790	341	227	73	41
181	And for your Advanced Directive, mashed, boiled, or double-baked?	1.4545	0.04014	308	206	64	38
182	The good news is you’re a benign tuber.	1.4543	0.03928	317	211	68	38
183	I strongly suggest you avoid sour cream, chives and bacon bits.	1.4539	0.03937	293	190	73	30
184	It appears to be all in your head.	1.4533	0.04240	289	197	53	39
185	You might want to put your worried face on for this, Mr Potato Head...	1.4527	0.04108	296	199	60	37
186	Could you remove your hat and shoes please? And your eyes and ears and nose and mouth.	1.4526	0.04108	285	189	63	33
187	Mr. Head, I'm referring you for a game called 'Operation.'	1.4508	0.04236	244	157	64	23
188	So we don't have that part in stock, but I can order it for you.	1.4508	0.04315	244	159	60	25
189	Your feelings of paranoia are completely justified. There's a lot of eyes on you.	1.4505	0.03876	293	189	76	28
190	I’m afraid you’ll never be able to have tots.	1.4505	0.04053	293	195	64	34
191	Stay away from cooking oil, butter, sour cream, and spend less time on the couch.	1.4498	0.04295	289	200	48	41
192	Please remove your hat. And nose. And ears.	1.4498	0.03975	289	189	70	30
193	Well sir, we found you a donor. There’s a kid having a garage sale in New Jersey.	1.4498	0.04438	249	167	52	30
194	Very sorry, Mr. Potato. Your insurer didn't approve the new features for you	1.4498	0.04213	249	161	64	24
195	I have some half-baked ideas of what’s wrong with you and if we let the chips fall where they may, I think we can boil down to the problem.	1.4494	0.04180	267	176	62	29
196	Well, I guess that's what makes the difference between a stud and a spud.	1.4489	0.03870	352	243	60	49
197	It’s perfectly normal to feel sore after body parts are pushed into your head.	1.4476	0.04005	286	188	68	30
198	Please remove your jacket.	1.4472	0.04025	284	187	67	30
199	I'm prescribing 350º for 2 hours.	1.4472	0.03963	284	185	71	28
200	You report having 'pain in the neck.' Where exactly is that?	1.4468	0.04138	282	189	60	33
201	Be grateful it’s not a headache.	1.4466	0.04096	262	170	67	25
202	You need to get off the couch and exercise more.	1.4460	0.04120	278	185	62	31
203	OK, take off your hat, eyebrows, eyes, ears, nose, moustache, lips and shoes, and let’s have a look at you.	1.4457	0.04343	267	182	51	34
204	I’m ordering an MRI. Are you microwave-safe?	1.4441	0.04153	286	194	57	35
205	Yes, I can prescribe Viagra, but that doesn't solve your real problem.	1.4437	0.03933	293	193	70	30
206	I'm going to send you to an ear, nose, and hat specialist.	1.4436	0.04188	266	177	60	29
207	And how are the tots?	1.4433	0.03951	300	200	67	33
208	Sprouting is totally normal at your age	1.4425	0.03992	287	190	67	30
209	Results show that all your parts are in the right place.	1.4419	0.03991	258	165	72	21
210	Let me make sure I have this correct, you say a door in your buttocks will not stay closed?	1.4412	0.04467	272	192	40	40
211	I completely understand your fear of going under the knife.	1.4410	0.04599	229	155	47	27
212	Removing your nose is a simple procedure, a 5-year-old could do it.	1.4401	0.04022	284	189	65	30
213	Actually, I would describe it more as a detachment disorder.	1.4400	0.04574	225	151	49	25
214	Take a long hot bath, add butter and salt and call me at 6 pm.	1.4399	0.03932	316	215	63	38
215	To remove it, we'll go in through the shoes.	1.4396	0.04074	273	181	64	28
216	Call me if your temperature stays above 400 degrees for an hour.	1.4393	0.04494	239	162	49	28
217	I see here you're from Idaho.	1.4393	0.04571	239	164	45	30
218	Mr. Quayle, I have updated your chart to your preferred pronouns of potatoe/potatoe/potatoe.	1.4390	0.04245	246	162	60	24
219	You have a terrible case of Pringles.	1.4389	0.04590	221	148	49	24
220	Your starch levels are dangerously elevated.	1.4387	0.03946	269	174	72	23
221	I am afraid you have an inoperable tuber.	1.4380	0.04566	242	167	44	31
222	How are you peeling today?	1.4362	0.04241	243	160	60	23
223	Sadly, it's all going to have to come off. But then we'll stick it back on.	1.4354	0.04026	271	179	66	26
224	You've been spending too much time on the couch.	1.4332	0.04381	247	168	51	28
225	Honestly, I think it’s all in your head.	1.4314	0.04278	255	173	54	28
226	You might want to change into your sad eyes for this.	1.4311	0.04612	225	154	45	26
227	I haven't seen a case like this since I worked in a MASH unit.	1.4311	0.04346	225	148	57	20
228	Your spud pressure is high.	1.4308	0.04339	253	173	51	29
229	The good news is, your transplant will be child's play.	1.4301	0.04079	272	183	61	28
230	I've got your test results. Exactly how much time are you spending on the couch?	1.4301	0.04163	279	192	54	33
231	I’m afraid your MRI shows a massive tuber.	1.4286	0.04350	252	173	50	29
232	Your rhinoplasty should be very straightforward. Even a child could do it.	1.4279	0.04289	229	151	58	20
233	In order to proceed with your prostate exam, I'm going to need a little ketchup.	1.4279	0.04744	208	142	43	23
234	Of course, there's always a butter option	1.4267	0.04651	225	156	42	27
235	You're a potato. You need a botanist not a doctor.	1.4267	0.04477	225	152	50	23
236	Avoid butter and sour cream, and in particular hot oil.	1.4266	0.04489	218	146	51	21
237	If you avoid butter and sour cream, you should be fine.	1.4264	0.04274	258	177	52	29
238	Ancestry.com confirms it. You're 60% Irish and only 40% Idaho Spud.	1.4262	0.04379	244	167	50	27
239	Since when did you stop feeling like a hot potato?	1.4258	0.04226	256	174	55	27
240	Stay away from butter and sour cream. Chives are ok.	1.4250	0.04352	240	163	52	25
241	I'm sad to have to tell you this, you have tuberculosis.	1.4244	0.04338	238	161	53	24
242	Sadly , I’m afraid you might have tuber-culosis.	1.4244	0.04419	238	163	49	26
243	Luckily, our daycare center found a matching right arm for you.	1.4238	0.03936	269	178	68	23
244	Only 2 eyes. At your age there’s usually more.	1.4231	0.04514	234	162	45	27
245	It's pretty normal at your age to be worried about leeks	1.4229	0.03995	253	166	67	20
246	I'm going to recommend that you stay away from salt, butter and sour cream.	1.4221	0.04176	263	180	55	28
247	You can keep the mustache, but shoes and hat off, too, please.	1.4219	0.04051	237	154	66	17
248	So, tell me how you got on the table?	1.4213	0.04697	235	168	35	32
249	Diet and exercise. Cut out the butter and sour cream, and get up off the couch.	1.4211	0.04220	247	167	56	24
250	And how long has it been since you've seen your knees?	1.4208	0.04115	259	175	59	25
251	First off,how the hell did you get on that table?	1.4204	0.04361	245	169	49	27
252	Actually in your case baking would be just as bad as frying.	1.4199	0.04472	231	159	47	25
253	Your 23 and Me results indicate that you are half Irish and one quarter each Yukon Gold and Idaho Russet	1.4198	0.04672	212	146	43	23
254	I recommend less time on the couch.	1.4189	0.04331	222	148	55	19
255	Has anyone ever told you your symptoms are all in your head?	1.4188	0.04388	234	160	50	24
256	I can treat you, but it's gonna cost an arm and a leg.	1.4185	0.04442	227	155	49	23
257	We'll need to be a bit creative with the colonoscopy	1.4182	0.04724	220	155	38	27
258	Nothing a little sour cream and chives won't fix.	1.4180	0.04147	256	174	57	25
259	Any history of GMOs in your family?	1.4179	0.04595	201	135	48	18
260	I'm sorry, but your health insurance says we can't put you back together again.	1.4175	0.04599	194	129	49	16
261	A gender reassignment surgery should be fairly straightforward.	1.4174	0.04199	242	163	57	22
262	There's nothing that we can do. You are going to be a vegetable for the rest of your life.	1.4167	0.04789	216	153	36	27
263	I'm afraid it's not in your head.	1.4167	0.05081	192	136	32	24
264	If your temperature is over 425 degrees for more than 30 minutes, take two pats of butter and call me for dinner.	1.4163	0.04605	233	165	39	29
265	First question, how did you get up on the table?	1.4155	0.04694	219	154	39	26
266	Here’s the good news. The tuber is benign.	1.4155	0.04465	219	149	49	21
267	I have a half-baked idea	1.4151	0.04422	212	142	52	18
268	I recommend spending a little less time on your couch.	1.4151	0.04522	212	144	48	20
269	I’m afraid we can’t attach THAT!	1.4149	0.04169	241	162	58	21
270	At this point, I'd advise against any more implants.	1.4149	0.04410	241	168	46	27
271	You need to spend less time on the couch and more in the gym.	1.4148	0.04279	229	154	55	20
272	I say Mr. Potāto, but your chart says Mr. Potäto."	1.4147	0.04588	217	150	44	23
273	And what gender were you assigned at birth? Male, female, or russet?	1.4144	0.04689	222	157	38	27
274	I’ll actually be able to preform the rhinoplasty in minutes.	1.4143	0.04502	210	142	49	19
275	What are your pronouns?	1.4136	0.05044	191	135	33	23
276	And, do you want to stay on life support if you become a vegetable?	1.4130	0.04442	247	175	42	30
277	Your MRI shows that you have a torn ro-tater cuff.	1.4127	0.04739	189	128	44	17
278	You understand that I can't check your prostate if you don't bring you prostate, right?	1.4123	0.04760	228	165	32	31
279	The chives are okay, but I'd lay off the butter and sour cream."	1.4120	0.03939	250	165	67	18
280	I recommend a full body peel followed by hydrotherapy and of course, plenty of butter.	1.4110	0.04312	236	162	51	23
281	I think your fear of butter and sour cream is perfectly normal.	1.4099	0.04462	222	153	47	22
282	All of your appendages are in the right holes, so what seems to be the problem?	1.4098	0.04307	205	135	56	14
283	You need to cut down on the sour cream.	1.4095	0.04054	232	153	63	16
284	If you keep up your health behaviors, you’ll be six feet under ground and thriving in no time.	1.4093	0.04615	215	150	42	23
285	I want you to spend less time sitting on the couch.	1.4089	0.04463	225	156	46	23
286	I have your test results. You may want to put on your sad eyes.”	1.4088	0.04885	181	124	40	17
287	Mr. Head, I’m afraid your request for a penis has been turned down by Hasbro.	1.4086	0.05197	186	134	28	24
288	I see you've had a number of plastic surgery procedures.	1.4085	0.04299	213	142	55	16
289	Does Mrs. Potato Head know you never had that missing part?	1.4083	0.04567	218	152	43	23
290	Now if you could remove your mouth and insert your tongue and say, Ahh.	1.4082	0.04195	245	168	54	23
291	Normally I would advise caution, but in your case, a nose job should be relatively simple.	1.4082	0.04781	196	136	40	20
292	As your dermatologist, I’m going to recommend a peel.	1.4079	0.04286	228	155	53	20
293	Actually the eyes growing on the back of your head are part of the normal aging process.	1.4076	0.04629	211	147	42	22
294	Your temperature is 400. 350 is the normal range.	1.4072	0.04335	221	150	52	19
295	You have SPUDS.	1.4069	0.04503	231	163	42	26
296	I’m going to write a prescription for sour cream.	1.4068	0.04181	236	160	56	20
297	So, you want to be a sweet potato	1.4064	0.04709	187	127	44	16
298	The headaches are caused by your plug-in hat."	1.4061	0.04538	197	133	48	16
299	The tests show you’re only half-baked	1.4059	0.04403	202	135	52	15
300	Your blood work suggests you should eat less starch and lose the mustache .	1.4057	0.04310	212	142	54	16
301	I’m afraid it’s tuber-culosis.	1.4057	0.04413	212	144	50	18
302	I suggest you put on your 'concerned' eyebrows for what I'm about to tell you	1.4051	0.04452	195	130	51	14
303	Your carbs are off the charts.	1.4048	0.04543	210	145	45	20
304	There is some good news. Most of your problem areas are replaceable.	1.4047	0.04610	215	151	41	23
305	Plain and simple. You need to give up the bacon bits.	1.4039	0.04550	203	139	46	18
306	Good morning! How do you identify yourself? Russet, Red, Yukon, Purple, Baked, Fried, or Mashed?	1.4038	0.04545	213	148	44	21
307	We’ll change some parts around and turn you from ‘spud’ to ‘stud’ in no time…	1.4035	0.04948	171	117	39	15
308	When did you first notic your genitals were missing?	1.4032	0.04598	186	125	47	14
309	Your arm isn't 'dislocated', it's missing.	1.4031	0.04752	191	132	41	18
310	Could be it’s all in your head.	1.4027	0.04398	226	157	47	22
311	I see here you are French, and are allergic to hot oil?	1.4020	0.04637	204	142	42	20
312	Avoid butter, sour cream and chives.	1.4018	0.04241	224	152	54	18
313	Please remove your hat, your shoes and your eyeballs.”	1.4008	0.04163	237	162	55	20
314	I suggest applying extreme heat, sour cream and chives.	1.4000	0.04341	220	151	50	19
315	Let’s start with you removing those shoes from your chin.	1.4000	0.04895	180	125	38	17
316	Feeling 'fried' in what sense?	1.4000	0.04265	195	128	56	11
317	When did it fall off, exactly?	1.4000	0.04738	185	127	42	16
318	I imagine you're something of a couch potato?	1.3991	0.04367	228	159	47	22
319	I'm sorry Mr. Head, but until Hasbro starts making adult prosthetics, there's nothing I can do about your erectile dysfunction."	1.3990	0.04569	208	145	43	20
320	Good news! You won't need a hip replacement!	1.3990	0.04719	208	148	37	23
321	Four years of med school, six years of residency, and I still can’t figure out how you got up on that table.	1.3990	0.04669	208	147	39	22
322	I'm going to need you to take your eyes, ears, nose, mouth, mustache, eyebrows, hat, arms and legs out so that I can get a good look.	1.3990	0.04825	193	136	37	20
323	How long have you been feeling half-baked?	1.3989	0.04621	188	128	45	15
324	The fertility test confirms the tater tots ARE yours.	1.3981	0.04764	211	152	34	25
325	Try to avoid the Cooties.	1.3981	0.04950	211	156	26	29
326	Your potassium levels are off the charts.	1.3981	0.04548	206	143	44	19
327	Luckily it’s easy to remove	1.3980	0.04715	196	137	40	19
328	My first question is “How did you get up there?”	1.3967	0.04936	184	130	35	19
329	It’s not a tuber.	1.3961	0.04782	207	149	34	24
330	no really, how did you get up there?	1.3960	0.04611	202	141	42	19
331	For that type of change, you need to travel to another state.	1.3957	0.04757	187	130	40	17
332	And then we'll just pop a new one on!	1.3956	0.04659	182	124	44	14
333	Of course it's a headache.	1.3956	0.05154	182	132	28	22
334	...and I would also stay away from vegetable oil.	1.3946	0.04854	185	130	37	18
335	Let's see if we can't turn that frown upside down.	1.3941	0.04375	203	138	50	15
336	This will most likely cost you an arm and a leg.	1.3937	0.04415	221	155	45	21
337	I highly recommend you avoid deep fried foods, sour cream, cheese and bacon	1.3934	0.04415	211	146	47	18
338	I promise, after the operation, you'll feel a lot butter...I mean, better.	1.3933	0.04593	178	120	46	12
339	The bad news is that the accident left you in a permanent vegetative state. The good news is that you’re still eligible to run for reelection.	1.3930	0.04677	201	142	39	20
340	In your case, gender reassignment surgery is so simple a child could do it. But they don't take insurance.	1.3927	0.04968	191	138	31	22
341	I've put your eyes and nose back on, but I can't find your other ear."	1.3925	0.04566	214	152	40	22
342	The competency test results are in. You're perfectly fit to be President.	1.3916	0.05252	166	119	29	18
343	Sorry, but THAT'S not included in your attachments.	1.3915	0.04656	189	131	42	16
344	and how often do you, uh, swap pieces with the Mrs.?	1.3913	0.04920	161	110	39	12
345	No couch for at least two months, sir.	1.3909	0.04521	197	136	45	16
346	So, I see you have concerns about your left eye and lips falling out continually?	1.3905	0.04450	169	111	50	8
347	Good news; the results of your skin test were delicious.	1.3905	0.04627	210	150	38	22
348	A pair of red kissy lips requires no anesthesia and only takes a second.	1.3904	0.04574	228	166	35	27
349	Stomach pain, you say? I’m afraid it’s all in your head.	1.3901	0.04289	223	155	49	19
350	I’d say you are a good transplant candidate.	1.3901	0.04652	182	125	43	14
351	I'd like to try a French procedure.	1.3900	0.04415	200	137	48	15
352	You need to cut out the starch	1.3898	0.04943	177	125	35	17
353	We're going to need a hash brown sample.	1.3895	0.04813	190	135	36	19
354	You could call it sweet potato,but I believe the technical term for what you have is Diabetes	1.3895	0.04870	190	136	34	20
355	Take off your hat. And also remove your nose and ears.	1.3894	0.04350	208	143	49	16
356	Any travel to Ireland in the last thirty days?	1.3892	0.04786	185	130	38	17
357	You say that both your mother and father both passed from the production of vodka?	1.3889	0.04973	162	112	37	13
358	Turns out it was just ketchup!	1.3880	0.04567	183	125	45	13
359	False alarm. It’s a tuber, not a tumor.	1.3878	0.04647	196	138	40	18
360	Yes hat and shoes off too!	1.3876	0.04722	178	123	41	14
361	You need to say no to all the fixings.	1.3876	0.04722	178	123	41	14
362	On average how many times a week would you say you’re getting baked?	1.3876	0.04855	178	125	37	16
363	Let's try staying away from butter, salt, and sour cream and see where that gets us first..	1.3876	0.04640	209	150	37	22
364	I'm glad to see you've found your feet.	1.3873	0.04568	204	144	41	19
365	This procedure requires what we call a "peeler."	1.3871	0.04641	186	129	42	15
366	You say at your retirement party, they were going to roast you?	1.3871	0.04826	186	132	36	18
367	You say you identify as an apple ?	1.3864	0.04893	176	124	36	16
368	Any relation to Tommy Tuberville?	1.3861	0.04599	202	143	40	19
369	It's a simple enough surgery. Unfortunately, it will be performed by children.	1.3855	0.04884	166	115	38	13
370	Of course you're depressed. You're a couch potato.	1.3850	0.04804	187	133	36	18
371	Sorry, outside of Idaho, your insurance only covers emergencies.	1.3846	0.04837	182	129	36	17
372	So you lost your grandparents in the famine?	1.3846	0.04961	182	131	32	19
373	So you say you're missing an important part?	1.3846	0.05261	156	111	30	15
374	In your specific case, the arm transplant is a minimally invasive, outpatient procedure.	1.3846	0.04965	169	119	35	15
375	The good news is we found your glasses.	1.3838	0.04461	185	126	47	12
376	Just stay away from the gravy and you should fine.	1.3833	0.04874	180	128	35	17
377	It's nothing to worry about. Buds are a perfectly normal sign of aging.....	1.3832	0.04358	214	150	46	18
378	The sprout we biopsied came back benign.	1.3829	0.04561	175	119	45	11
379	You have trouble walking, you say?	1.3827	0.04468	196	136	45	15
380	So this time when I say take everything off, I just mean your hat and shoes..	1.3825	0.04689	183	128	40	15
381	That’s a common misconception. The oil actually makes the dry skin crispier.	1.3824	0.04455	204	143	44	17
382	My recommendation is to avoid high heat, dairy, bacon, and scallion.	1.3822	0.04669	191	135	39	17
383	Stay away from the butter and sour cream.	1.3822	0.04727	191	136	37	18
384	Please, detach your right arm and raise it above your head.	1.3818	0.04746	165	113	41	11
385	The brain activity test results are in: you're a total vegetable.	1.3817	0.04696	186	131	39	16
386	I’m afraid you’re starting to sprout.	1.3813	0.05006	160	112	35	13
387	Now remove your right eye, what's the smallest letter you can see?	1.3812	0.04788	181	128	37	16
388	Good news! It is a tuber, but it's benign.	1.3804	0.04604	184	128	42	14
389	I would advise you to stay away from butter and sour cream.	1.3803	0.04214	213	147	51	15
390	You’ve got nothing that a little Sour Cream and Bacon Bits won’t cure	1.3800	0.05153	150	105	33	12
391	Well to start with you don’t need a knee replacement.	1.3800	0.04570	200	142	40	18
392	The ear surgery will be a snap	1.3799	0.04693	179	125	40	14
393	The specialist will be in to see you once she's done with her milk and cookies.	1.3799	0.04625	179	124	42	13
394	ALL of your ancestors succumbed to McDonalds?	1.3793	0.04627	203	146	37	20
395	Sorry, substituting the moustache with puffy red lips and the cowboy hat with a big curly wig is illegal in Florida.	1.3791	0.05328	153	110	28	15
396	Without insurance, this is going to cost you an arm and a leg.	1.3789	0.04682	190	135	38	17
397	And last name Head?	1.3787	0.04885	169	119	36	14
398	The good news is that in your case, a gender change would be a simple outpatient procedure.	1.3785	0.04795	177	125	37	15
399	The good news is that you have the same build as Mr. Trump.	1.3785	0.05182	177	131	25	21
400	Oops - these results are for Mr. PoTAHto.	1.3784	0.05012	185	136	28	21
401	I'm afraid the only way to keep you alive is strict avoidance of butter, sour cream, cheese and, especially, salt.	1.3781	0.04327	201	139	48	14
402	Good news, you're a nonmalignant tubor!	1.3779	0.04753	172	120	39	13
403	No matter how many ways you disguise yourself, I cannot give you anymore painkillers.	1.3778	0.04737	180	127	38	15
404	Well, Mr. P, it looks like you knee removal surgery was a complete success.	1.3778	0.05054	180	132	28	20
405	We could try radiation, or we could just pop it off and put in a new one.”	1.3775	0.04763	204	150	31	23
406	In your case gender reassignment surgery would actually be quite simple.	1.3774	0.04580	212	154	36	22
407	Mr. Potatohead, the eye on your back is not cancerous.	1.3770	0.04681	183	129	39	15
408	Without insurance, I’m afraid it will cost you an arm and a leg	1.3770	0.05051	183	135	27	21
409	Lets see: plastic, devoid of a soul, and owned by a multi-billion dollar corporation. Have you by chance considered politics?	1.3767	0.05424	146	105	27	14
410	If you could remove your shoes, hat, and mustache, we can get started	1.3767	0.05156	146	102	33	11
411	I'll consult eBay about your nose transplant."	1.3766	0.05299	154	111	28	15
412	The problem is, you're a potato.	1.3765	0.05328	162	119	25	18
413	I also have roots in Idaho.	1.3764	0.04839	178	127	35	16
414	So, you're feeling uprooted?	1.3758	0.04992	149	103	36	10
415	Referring to them as "small potatoes" may not be giving your children a healthy self-image.	1.3758	0.05224	157	113	29	15
416	That isn't blood. That's ketchup.	1.3750	0.04522	192	135	42	15
417	I can assure you it is phantom knee pain	1.3750	0.05296	144	102	30	12
418	Your potassium is quit high	1.3750	0.04437	208	148	42	18
419	Your only surgery option is, unfortunately, plastic.	1.3743	0.04408	179	122	47	10
420	I’d recommend putting on your brave face.	1.3742	0.05006	163	116	33	14
421	Have you tried popping it back in again?	1.3736	0.04629	182	128	40	14
422	Looks like you're in a persistent vegetative state. So a clean bill of health!	1.3736	0.04982	174	126	31	17
423	Bad news, I'm afraid: It's a brain tuber.	1.3736	0.05178	174	129	25	20
424	So it says here you've already had 123 nose jobs.	1.3733	0.05313	150	108	28	14
425	Is that with an e?	1.3733	0.05397	150	109	26	15
426	Are your tater tots regular?	1.3731	0.04377	201	141	45	15
427	I’m afraid it’s bad news. They used glue.	1.3729	0.04984	177	129	30	18
428	Unfortunately, you’ve started to sprout.	1.3729	0.04919	177	128	32	17
429	But with plastic surgery, YOU get to decide what you look like.	1.3725	0.04441	204	145	42	17
430	Good news, you appear to be as fit as a fingerling.	1.3723	0.04648	188	134	38	16
431	Cut down on the butter, sour cream and salt.	1.3721	0.04885	172	123	34	15
432	The test was inconclusive: the tater tot may - or may not - be yours.	1.3720	0.05129	164	119	29	16
433	The transitioning process is simpler than you might expect.	1.3720	0.05055	164	118	31	15
434	It looks as though your insurance doesn't cover plastic surgery.	1.3717	0.04473	191	134	43	14
435	As we feared, it’s tuberculosis.	1.3714	0.04686	175	123	39	13
436	This is gonna cost you a shoe and an ear.	1.3709	0.05284	151	109	28	14
437	Mr. Potatohead, I see here that you are a Supreme Court Judge?	1.3709	0.05367	151	110	26	15
438	Despite having had your hip replaced by a six-year-old, I'd say you're in pretty good shape.	1.3706	0.05063	170	124	29	17
439	Good news...everything seems to be in the right place	1.3706	0.04256	197	136	49	12
440	... and avoid fried foods.	1.3704	0.04362	216	155	42	19
441	You have several options: mash, scallop, fry. Or you can always choose the do nothing approach which would be couch.	1.3704	0.04945	162	115	34	13
442	I'm writing you a prescription for pants.	1.3702	0.04961	181	133	29	19
443	Before we do the MRI, we’ll need to poke a few holes in you with a fork.	1.3697	0.04435	211	152	40	19
444	You and Mrs. Potato might want to hold off exchanging parts for awhile...	1.3693	0.04868	176	127	33	16
445	I’m afraid you are a potato.	1.3690	0.05105	168	123	28	17
446	The nurse will be in shortly to snap in your new right arm.	1.3684	0.04731	152	104	40	8
447	I can do the procedure, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.	1.3684	0.04757	171	121	37	13
448	So you got baked last night, and loaded?	1.3681	0.04750	182	131	35	16
449	It's stuck where?	1.3681	0.04350	182	125	47	10
450	I’m afraid we’re going to have to remove your eyes, ears, nose, mouth, arms, mustache, eyebrows, hat, and shoes.	1.3681	0.05146	163	119	28	16
451	In your case, it's really a fairly simple transition.	1.3673	0.05116	147	104	32	11
452	So I assume you worked from your couch while living in Idaho?	1.3672	0.05040	177	131	27	19
453	I will state the obvious: Your hat is too small for your face.	1.3672	0.04502	177	123	43	11
454	I advise against the chemical peel.	1.3669	0.05417	139	100	27	12
455	I can make you much better by simply adding some salt	1.3669	0.04568	169	117	42	10
456	And you said you did the nose job yourself?	1.3669	0.04794	169	120	36	13
457	The tests did find a tuber.	1.3669	0.04867	169	121	34	14
458	I'm sorry, but we found a tuber.	1.3669	0.04939	169	122	32	15
459	It looks like you only have another three weeks, unless you’re kept in the crisper.	1.3665	0.04881	161	114	35	12
460	Do you pronounce it "Po-tay-toe" or "Po-tah-toe?"	1.3661	0.04854	183	134	31	18
461	Are you familiar with the phrase; You are what you eat?	1.3659	0.04818	164	116	36	12
462	The only drawback to using medical marijuana for you, sir, is maybe being called a ‘baked potato’ from time to time.	1.3659	0.05045	164	119	30	15
463	According to the tests it's all in your head.	1.3659	0.04818	164	116	36	12
464	You need plastic surgery.	1.3656	0.04673	186	134	36	16
465	Hmm...I see - you're a complex carb.	1.3653	0.04979	167	121	31	15
466	So you want a facelift...	1.3650	0.04846	137	93	38	6
467	You need to spend less time on the couch, Mister.	1.3646	0.04828	181	132	32	17
468	We have three treatment options available, baked, fried or boiled.	1.3646	0.04446	192	136	42	14
469	And you just popped it back in?	1.3643	0.05385	140	101	27	12
470	You’re way better off than Mr Dumpty. With you, we can just replace a few pieces.	1.3643	0.05572	140	103	23	14
471	Says here when you go out you don’t feel fully dressed.	1.3642	0.04650	151	103	41	7
472	Good news on BAKED and BOILED. But your numbers on FRIED are concerning.	1.3636	0.05306	165	124	22	19
473	On the bright side you can turn that frown upside-down.	1.3636	0.05020	165	120	30	15
474	Well at least you can touch your toes	1.3636	0.04794	165	117	36	12
475	I’m sorry to inform you that you’re unable to have any tots.	1.3632	0.04659	190	138	35	17
476	Blood pressure is normal, but starch levels are through the roof…	1.3631	0.04599	179	127	39	13
477	Actually, Bill, I can replace everything.	1.3631	0.04733	168	119	37	12
478	You are spineless, but don't despair. Your condition is compatible with many career paths.	1.3631	0.05203	157	115	27	15
479	Your chart says you've been experiencing stabbing pain in the top of the head, eyes, ears, nose, mustache, mouth, arms, and feet.	1.3630	0.05525	135	98	25	12
480	Maybe you should consider spending less time on the couch.	1.3626	0.04890	171	124	32	15
481	I'm concerned about your eyes, but they can be replaced.	1.3625	0.04815	160	113	36	11
482	You should quit while you're a head.	1.3624	0.05405	149	110	24	15
483	We'll try to get you under the knife around Thanksgiving.	1.3623	0.04926	138	95	36	7
484	Is there an "e" on the end?	1.3621	0.04760	174	125	35	14
485	We can definitely do something about that nose	1.3621	0.04545	174	122	41	11
486	I'm prescribing you more marijuana. The test results show you're only half-baked.	1.3620	0.04753	163	115	37	11
487	My wife says it's all in my head.	1.3613	0.05249	155	114	26	15
488	Your complex carbohydrates are a little high.	1.3611	0.04578	180	128	39	13
489	So the good news is, we've found your pipe...	1.3611	0.05179	144	103	30	11
490	Sorry about the waiting room, I share the office with a pediatrician.	1.3611	0.05084	144	102	32	10
491	A little peeling is to be expected at your age.	1.3609	0.04857	169	122	33	14
492	I’d tell you to cut down on the carbs, but…	1.3608	0.04854	158	112	35	11
493	We can rule out a knee problem.	1.3605	0.05194	147	106	29	12
494	It's your eyes - they're starting to sprout everywhere.	1.3600	0.05375	150	111	24	15
495	How the hell do I test your reflexes?	1.3598	0.05035	164	120	29	15
496	Actually, a gender change to Ms. Potato Head may be less expensive than you think.	1.3595	0.04873	153	108	35	10
497	Results are back. You're Ore-Ida.	1.3593	0.05182	167	125	24	18
498	I'm a knee and hip Doctor.	1.3593	0.05041	167	123	28	16
499	I'm most concerned with your inability to carry a wallet."	1.3593	0.04821	167	120	34	13
500	Why the long face?	1.3593	0.04746	167	119	36	12
501	Good news - all your sprouts are benign.”	1.3593	0.05182	167	125	24	18
502	It's as I'd suspected: tuber-culosis.	1.3588	0.05426	131	94	27	10
503	I need to examine your eyes. Please hand them over.	1.3585	0.04910	159	114	33	12
504	I don’t see anything wrong, you seem pretty well put together to me.	1.3585	0.04990	159	115	31	13
505	Your plastic surgery will be performed by kids age 2 and up.	1.3580	0.04766	162	115	36	11
506	And with a simple procedure we can assign you whatever gender you want	1.3580	0.05111	176	133	23	20
507	Sadly, the replacement parts aren’t covered by your insurance.	1.3580	0.04783	176	128	33	15
508	Your blood sugar's a little high. Even for a sweet potato.	1.3580	0.04503	176	124	41	11
509	I’m sorry. That’s the one part I can’t replace.	1.3576	0.05083	165	122	27	16
510	First, go ahead and attach your "shocked" eyebrows.	1.3575	0.04590	179	128	38	13
511	Your results are in. You better grab your frown.	1.3571	0.04847	154	109	35	10
512	How did your penis fall off?	1.3571	0.04934	154	110	33	11
513	How did you get on the table?	1.3571	0.05425	154	116	21	17
514	I’m going to ask you to remove your shoes, hat, eyes and arms, please.	1.3571	0.04668	182	132	35	15
515	I think you'll find that sour cream and chives will agree with you.	1.3571	0.04577	154	106	41	7
516	Bad news. It's tuberculosis.	1.3567	0.05192	157	116	26	15
517	I am going to put a smile on your face!	1.3567	0.04867	157	112	34	11
518	How did you get up there?	1.3562	0.05043	160	117	29	14
519	When I said to avoid starches, I didn't mean your family.	1.3562	0.05119	146	105	30	11
520	You'll feel much better if you put on your smiley mouth.	1.3558	0.04821	163	117	34	12
521	Do you pronounce it Potayto or potahto?	1.3557	0.04749	194	145	29	20
522	What do you mean your nose falls off?	1.3556	0.05511	135	99	24	12
523	It’s a tuber	1.3550	0.04774	169	122	34	13
524	Unfortunately, we can't find a giant lips donor match.	1.3548	0.05317	155	116	23	16
525	Have you considered plastic surgery?	1.3546	0.05243	141	102	28	11
526	Just pop everything out and someone will be right with you.	1.3546	0.05339	141	103	26	12
527	I know a specialist, but he's in a daycare.	1.3544	0.04924	158	114	32	12
528	How often do you feel that parts of you are missing?	1.3544	0.05164	158	117	26	15
529	The results are definitive. All of those tots are yours.	1.3540	0.05093	161	119	27	15
530	Good news, Mr. Head. In your case, gender identity is quite easy to change, and is even reversible.	1.3540	0.04528	161	112	41	8
531	Doc, i'm not peeling well	1.3537	0.04950	164	120	30	14
532	Have you tried not storing things in your butt?	1.3536	0.04936	181	136	26	19
533	The good news is we can rule out restless leg syndrome.	1.3533	0.05607	150	115	17	18
534	I'd say that you'd feel better if you cut down on carbs, but then again that would kill you.	1.3533	0.05018	150	108	31	11
535	You're fine. All you need is some sour cream.	1.3533	0.04561	184	133	37	14
536	When did you first notice your torso was missing?	1.3529	0.04965	170	126	28	16
537	You need to lay off the starch.	1.3526	0.04763	173	126	33	14
538	I'm afraid that your crop insurance won't cover this procedure.	1.3526	0.04546	173	123	39	11
539	Take a long hot bath and 2 pats of butter and call me at 6pm	1.3526	0.05048	156	114	29	13
540	You need to cut back on the sugar or you're going to end up vodka.	1.3516	0.05611	128	94	23	11
541	I fully understand your problem sir but really you don't have a leg to stand on.	1.3510	0.05078	151	110	29	12
542	You can't walk because your shoes are on your chin.	1.3510	0.05575	151	116	17	18
543	Before we begin, can you please take off your hat, mustache, eyes, ears, and nose?	1.3510	0.04901	151	108	33	10
544	Cheer up. You weren't this well put together on your last visit.	1.3509	0.04727	171	124	34	13
545	It looks like you're missing a piece.	1.3506	0.04921	154	111	32	11
546	You have to cut down on the carbs.	1.3503	0.05101	157	116	27	14
547	Actually, the nose replacement is going to be much easier than you think.	1.3500	0.04791	160	115	34	11
548	I’ve never seen a BMI so high.	1.3497	0.04730	163	117	35	11
549	An hour at 425° should fix you right up.	1.3497	0.05086	143	103	30	10
550	If you could remove your hat, eyebrows, ears, eyes, mustache, nose, mouth, arms, and feet please.	1.3494	0.05046	166	124	26	16
551	You need to stop eating French fries for both health and ethical reasons.	1.3491	0.04535	169	120	39	10
552	Your results are in. You’ve got eyes growing in the back of your head.	1.3491	0.04836	169	124	31	14
553	Before we consider a transplant, have you checked under the bed?	1.3490	0.05033	149	108	30	11
554	You're in good health in spite of the many puncture wounds	1.3484	0.04539	155	108	40	7
555	It looks like all your parts are in the right place. And trust me, that's not a given.	1.3481	0.04745	158	113	35	10
556	They probably thought you wouldn't need it. You're a toy.	1.3481	0.04829	158	114	33	11
557	I recommend that you lay off the sour cream.	1.3478	0.04601	161	114	38	9
558	Do you prefer Po-TAH-to or Po-TAY-to?	1.3478	0.05005	161	119	28	14
559	Your labs looked fine but the scan showed a large pair of glasses lodged in your rectum…	1.3476	0.05160	164	124	23	17
560	It's tuberculosis.	1.3472	0.05245	144	106	26	12
561	No, my PhD does not stand for Potato Head Doctor.	1.3472	0.05336	144	107	24	13
562	I'm afraid to say... that part did not come in the original package.	1.3471	0.04954	170	127	27	16
563	He forces you into a hot oven and then he eats you? How long have you had this recurring nightmare?	1.3464	0.05021	153	112	29	12
564	The results of your physical exam and your aptitude test is that you would excel at French Fries	1.3462	0.05429	130	95	25	10
565	And do you have any vision problems with the eyes in the back of your head?	1.3459	0.04658	185	137	32	16
566	'A pinch of chives for kicks' is not a diet plan.	1.3457	0.04901	162	119	30	13
567	You have some sprouts that need to be removed.	1.3456	0.05461	136	101	23	12
568	You're in what we call the "Golden Russet Years."	1.3453	0.05178	139	101	28	10
569	It's going to cost you an arm and a leg.	1.3451	0.05198	142	104	27	11
570	They have a name for it now. It's called non-binary."	1.3451	0.05101	142	103	29	10
571	I recommend baking at 425 degrees for 45 minutes.	1.3450	0.04491	171	122	39	10
572	Turns out that rattling in your chest was just an extra arm.	1.3448	0.05027	145	105	30	10
573	Are you still experiencing those stab-like pains?	1.3448	0.05027	145	105	30	10
574	I'm an ear, nose, and throat doctor, so just leave those here and they can see the rest of you next door	1.3444	0.05064	151	111	28	12
575	Unfortunately, you are in the wrong place. I am a veterinarian, and you need a vegetarian.	1.3444	0.05402	151	115	20	16
576	So…you’re from Idaho?	1.3444	0.04703	151	107	36	8
577	my boss thinks I’m baked all the time but really I’m just feeling fried, doc.	1.3443	0.05909	122	92	18	12
578	I'm afraid that part isn't available.	1.3443	0.05554	122	89	24	9
579	Don't you worry. This is going to be the cheapest facelift in the history of plastic surgery.	1.3439	0.04492	157	110	40	7
580	It really is all in your head!	1.3438	0.04779	160	116	33	11
581	I’m sure you’ll find your other arm. Check under the couch.	1.3438	0.04525	160	113	39	8
582	Putting in a lot of hours on the couch, are we?	1.3436	0.04797	163	119	32	12
583	For how long have you been afraid of butter and sour cream?	1.3436	0.04797	163	119	32	12
584	It's gonna cost you and arm and a leg	1.3435	0.04939	131	92	33	6
585	I think we're going to have to cut down on the starch.	1.3432	0.04677	169	123	34	12
586	Cheer up! You're going to live forever ... especially if you can find that box you came in	1.3431	0.05122	137	99	29	9
587	Is there any way to reduce the starch in your diet?	1.3429	0.05147	140	102	28	10
588	I’m sorry you’re not happy with your new nose. My daughter will get that fixed right up for you as soon as she’s done with her nap	1.3429	0.04418	175	125	40	10
589	I think I just ate your mother.	1.3427	0.04666	143	100	37	6
590	Have you tried a different nose and hat?	1.3427	0.04873	143	102	33	8
591	It's bad news, I know. I'm sorry. Would you like me to change your eyebrows to the 'sad' position?	1.3425	0.04998	146	106	30	10
592	And on a positive note, you're already ahead!	1.3425	0.05274	146	109	24	13
593	Now, let's talk about how you're going to get down.	1.3423	0.05196	149	111	25	13
594	Now, how about we turn that frown upside down?	1.3423	0.05108	149	110	27	12
595	And where do you have these stabbing pains?	1.3423	0.04928	149	108	31	10
596	It's an outpatient procedure, the whole thing should take about five seconds.	1.3423	0.04928	149	108	31	10
597	No, I don't think your fear of McDonald's is unnatural at all.	1.3421	0.04487	152	106	40	6
598	Your potassium levels are a little high but other than that you’re fine.	1.3419	0.05132	155	116	25	14
599	You should switch to your surprise eyebrows for this one.	1.3409	0.05359	132	97	25	10
600	Not surprisingly, it's all in your head.	1.3406	0.05294	138	102	25	11
601	Have you noticed your features changing from day to day?	1.3406	0.05091	138	100	29	9
602	I'd suggest working on that stubborn streak, Mr. Tuberville.	1.3406	0.05490	138	104	21	13
603	It’s going to have to be removed, but it’s a very easy procedure.”	1.3404	0.05310	141	105	24	12
604	And just when,Sir,did everything come to a head?	1.3403	0.04944	144	104	31	9
605	I'm concerned about your vegetative state.	1.3400	0.04714	150	107	35	8
606	With your body type, you need to limit starches in your diet.	1.3400	0.04990	150	110	29	11
607	Your x-rays show a pair of glasses, and another mouth in your abdomen, but you’re otherwise quite healthy.	1.3400	0.04808	150	108	33	9
608	Viagra? Really?	1.3400	0.05079	150	111	27	12
609	The good news is we can replace your arm. The bad news is we have to use a leg we found under the couch.	1.3397	0.04939	156	115	29	12
610	You really have to cut back on carbs.	1.3397	0.04769	156	113	33	10
611	I would re-attach it right here, but unfortunately I’m not between the ages of 4-6.	1.3396	0.04873	159	117	30	12
612	I see here you left gender blank.	1.3395	0.04647	162	117	35	10
613	Well that was an interesting colonoscopy	1.3394	0.04748	165	121	32	12
614	Judging by your x-rays, I think there may be a problem with your legs.	1.3392	0.04555	171	124	36	11
615	No more more butter or sour cream for you buddy.	1.3391	0.04856	174	131	27	16
616	Take this twice a day, and keep the arms out of the ear holes.	1.3388	0.05574	121	89	23	9
617	In your case, gender reassignment should be reasonably straightforward.	1.3388	0.04279	183	131	42	10
618	I'm prescribing exercises for your arms.	1.3385	0.05070	130	93	30	7
619	So, how much time do you spend on your couch?	1.3382	0.05544	136	103	20	13
620	So, Timmy made you do what with Barbie?	1.3380	0.05182	142	105	26	11
621	I'm simply pointing out there is more to life than getting baked everyday.	1.3379	0.05290	145	109	23	13
622	The good news is you’re gluten-free.	1.3379	0.04716	145	103	35	7
623	Leg pain? Where?	1.3378	0.05033	148	109	28	11
624	Try to put on a happy face.	1.3377	0.05137	151	113	25	13
625	According to the medical test results, it"s not your imagination... You are a potato..	1.3377	0.04962	151	111	29	11
626	‘ I’m sorry, your face does not qualify as an Ozempic injection site’	1.3377	0.04534	154	109	38	7
627	Your insurance only covers eye removal.	1.3377	0.04980	154	114	28	12
628	Yes sir, with a vasectomy you and Mrs. Potato Head don't have to worry about having any more tots.	1.3377	0.05148	154	116	24	14
629	I want you to stay away from burger joints.	1.3376	0.04478	157	111	39	7
630	Just three words— too many carbs!	1.3376	0.04995	157	117	27	13
631	You stuck WHAT in there?!	1.3374	0.04541	163	117	37	9
632	I gonna ask you to leave your left ear today for additional tests	1.3372	0.04458	172	124	38	10
633	I told you a high-carb diet wouldn't work!	1.3361	0.05758	119	89	20	10
634	Mr. Potato Head, if you want to avoid a painful death, please stay away from Mc. Donald’s.	1.3360	0.05321	125	91	26	8
635	Have you tried pulling it out and putting it back in again?	1.3360	0.05673	125	94	20	11
636	''Is it still Mister?''	1.3358	0.05074	134	97	29	8
637	And you said they stuck your other arm up where exactly?	1.3358	0.05396	134	100	23	11
638	It just fell off !	1.3358	0.05184	134	98	27	9
639	So would you say you've been feeling more baked, mashed or boiled lately?	1.3358	0.05600	134	102	19	13
640	This is a full body exam. Peel.	1.3358	0.05105	137	100	28	9
641	You may call me Doctor. Do you prefer Mr. Head or just Potato?	1.3357	0.05327	140	105	23	12
642	I’m falling apart, doc	1.3357	0.05055	143	105	28	10
643	I’m sorry, but that part has never been available.	1.3356	0.05348	146	111	21	14
644	I am prescribing a hot bath in a medicinal mixture of dry vermouth, chicken broth, and chicken thighs. Give it lots of thyme and it will tranform you!	1.3356	0.05348	146	111	21	14
645	When did you first notice the hat?	1.3355	0.05108	152	114	25	13
646	More gym less couch.	1.3355	0.04602	155	111	36	8
647	You’re fine. It appears that you only make others’ blood sugar to spike.	1.3354	0.04401	161	114	40	7
648	We could switch out your moustache for your hat and see what that does.	1.3354	0.04980	161	121	26	14
649	Your potassium and vitamin C levels are normal, but your carbohydrate reading was rather high.	1.3353	0.04511	173	126	36	11
650	You're okay now, but eventually your eyes will have to come out.	1.3352	0.04876	176	134	25	17
651	I'm sorry, Mr. Potatohead. Hair is considered cosmetic and not covered by your insurance.	1.3333	0.04769	132	93	34	5
652	Do you know you're sprouting eyes on the back of your head?	1.3333	0.05664	114	84	22	8
653	Take off your mouth and say ‘Aaah’.	1.3333	0.04928	144	105	30	9
654	The bad news is you need a knee replacement. The good news is it should be a simple in-and-out procedure.	1.3333	0.05025	144	106	28	10
655	Lose the hat and moustache,add some frilly eyelashes and voila! The sex change will be complete.	1.3333	0.05341	132	98	24	10
656	I've ordered the parts for your gender reassignment. The procedure takes about 30 seconds, unless you also want the bikini peel.	1.3333	0.05177	138	102	26	10
657	How long have you had this version of your face?	1.3333	0.04818	135	96	33	6
658	Good news; gender reassignment for you Mr. Head, should be 'plug and play'.	1.3333	0.05377	138	104	22	12
659	How long have you known you want to come out as a Yam?	1.3333	0.05464	135	102	21	12
660	You appear to have an irrational fear of the French	1.3333	0.05717	120	90	20	10
661	Your results came back starchy	1.3314	0.04339	169	121	40	8
662	Well, it turns out that you never really had a gender anyway.	1.3313	0.04610	163	119	34	10
663	Any new parts?	1.3313	0.04409	160	114	39	7
664	No, I don't think the head-to-toe examination will take long."	1.3311	0.04858	151	111	30	10
665	I had some family in France, and they were all very thin.	1.3311	0.05208	151	115	22	14
666	You look like a whole different person since I last saw you!	1.3310	0.04699	145	104	34	7
667	It's as we suspected... everything is already in the right place.	1.3310	0.05184	145	109	24	12
668	You say potato, I say non deductible medical expense	1.3310	0.05184	145	109	24	12
669	Do you pronounce your name po-TAY-to or po-TAH-to?	1.3310	0.05262	142	107	23	12
670	Good news! Test results confirm you are gluten free!	1.3308	0.05088	133	97	28	8
671	Your biopsy came back delicious.	1.3308	0.05281	130	96	25	9
672	No sir, just because you're French doesn't mean your fate is sealed.	1.3308	0.05503	130	98	21	11
673	We can do the procedure, but it's going to cost you an arm and a leg.	1.3307	0.05483	127	95	22	10
674	This consult for rhinoplasty is unnecessary. Just order a different nose from Hasbro.	1.3306	0.05796	121	92	18	11
675	Mrs. Potato Head will need to be tested as well.	1.3304	0.05757	115	86	20	9
676	The problem is your weight. You need to cut down on the starches.	1.3298	0.04336	191	141	37	13
677	There are strong indicators that you have eyes in the back of your head.	1.3293	0.04763	167	125	29	13
678	Luckily the parts you need are in stock.	1.3289	0.05008	152	114	26	12
679	I could say ditch the carbs, but there goes your raison d’être.	1.3289	0.04830	152	112	30	10
680	That frying sound in your ears is probably just anxiety but if it worries you, just pull them off.	1.3289	0.04897	149	110	29	10
681	Now, let's turn that frown upside down shall we?	1.3289	0.04989	149	111	27	11
682	I can do the sex change but I’m afraid you’re stuck with the pronoun.	1.3288	0.04967	146	108	28	10
683	Still no pulse, if you don't mind, I'd like to stick a fork in you.	1.3287	0.05324	143	109	21	13
684	I’m going to refer you to our specialist in the produce section.	1.3287	0.05230	143	108	23	12
685	Maybe cut down on the salt.	1.3287	0.04940	143	105	29	9
686	Your test results came back negative. Turns out it’s all in your head.	1.3285	0.05294	137	103	23	11
687	When you went to Vegas did you happen to spend time with an Ida-Ho.?	1.3285	0.05294	137	103	23	11
688	I'm afraid you're going to have to cut out starch.	1.3284	0.04943	134	97	30	7
689	I can give you something for that fear of frying.	1.3284	0.05378	134	101	22	11
690	It’s the blight. Anyone other the Mrs. who should be notified?	1.3282	0.05247	131	97	25	9
691	You need to spend less time on the couch.	1.3282	0.05247	131	97	25	9
692	Sir, it says here you're from Idaho .	1.3282	0.05018	131	95	29	7
693	So, you say you were poked in your eyes, with your eyes? Sorry, I'm not following you.	1.3281	0.05216	128	94	26	8
694	Let's start by removing your legs.	1.3281	0.05332	128	95	24	9
695	I've ordered the Mrs Potato-head pieces; we can start your transition in 2 weeks.	1.3280	0.05178	125	91	27	7
696	You've decided you want to become a woman, again? Sure! No problem! This won't hurt a bit!	1.3279	0.05514	122	91	22	9
697	I know you think you have Irish heritage, but your DNA results indicate a Peruvian ancestry.	1.3279	0.05871	122	94	16	12
698	The lab results indicate that it's time to switch out your nose.	1.3276	0.05581	116	86	22	8
699	The bad news: we have to cut out starch. The good news: most of your parts are replaceable.	1.3268	0.04804	153	113	30	10
700	Can you be more specific other than feeling rotten and half-baked?	1.3265	0.05213	147	112	22	13
701	When did you first notice your right ear was gone?	1.3264	0.04709	144	104	33	7
702	I see here your starch levels seem to be very high.	1.3262	0.05083	141	105	26	10
703	We'll have to send you to a toddler for rearrangement.	1.3261	0.05056	138	102	27	9
704	Luckily, your Erectile Dysfunction can be cured with a little plastic surgery.	1.3259	0.05344	135	102	22	11
705	Thanks for describing your symptoms, but my name is not Mr Doctorhead!	1.3258	0.05536	132	101	19	12
706	Everything looks good with the exception of your head.	1.3256	0.04508	172	127	34	11
707	Your new nose is looking great, but my concern is where you put the old one.	1.3254	0.05265	126	93	25	8
708	I’m afraid your head is bigger than your stomach.	1.3253	0.04850	166	126	26	14
709	I don’t think a third eye is a good idea.	1.3252	0.05596	123	93	20	10
710	You have to cut out all starches.	1.3250	0.04738	160	119	30	11
711	You need five new parts and each comes in a range of colours.	1.3250	0.05314	120	88	25	7
712	Well, "No batteries required" is a pretty clear warning not to shove them up there...	1.3248	0.05926	117	90	16	11
713	So you're a couch Potato?	1.3241	0.05168	145	110	23	12
714	I'm afraid you're in a persistent vegetative state.	1.3239	0.05052	142	106	26	10
715	I’m not sure how you’ll get down either. How did you get up?	1.3237	0.05228	139	105	23	11
716	So, do you pronounce your name Pota-to or Potay-to Head?	1.3237	0.05025	139	103	27	9
717	According to the pathology report, it appears to be a tuber.	1.3237	0.05228	139	105	23	11
718	Yes, we can add one of those, but your insurance doesn't cover it.	1.3235	0.05310	136	103	22	11
719	You seem to have entered a vegetative state	1.3235	0.05101	136	101	26	9
720	So, no surprise there, given your potassium content your blood pressure is excellent! I'm not getting any pulse however ...	1.3233	0.04838	133	96	31	6
721	Remember...if you notice growths starting again it means you've been spending too much time indoors.	1.3233	0.05288	133	100	23	10
722	Don’t go mushy on me.	1.3232	0.04489	164	120	35	9
723	OK--so they named a famine after you. Get over it.	1.3228	0.05348	127	95	23	9
724	And if all goes well, you’ll be back on eBay in no time.	1.3226	0.05063	124	90	28	6
725	I recommend cheese, sour cream, chives, bacon bits...oh sorry, that's my grocery list.	1.3226	0.05316	124	92	24	8
726	Once I find where to place my fingers, I’m going to ask you to cough.	1.3223	0.05406	121	90	23	8
727	I see under organ donor consent you put french fries.	1.3221	0.05152	149	114	22	13
728	Yours is a common problem--too much starch.	1.3220	0.05630	118	89	20	9
729	I would recommend less sour cream.	1.3219	0.04655	146	106	33	7
730	Let's just say that your wife's infertility may be related to one of your missing essential parts.	1.3219	0.05228	146	112	21	13
731	Well, a little potato famine wouldn't do you any harm.	1.3217	0.05599	115	86	21	8
732	I know you are tired of hearing it, but it really is all in your head.	1.3214	0.04994	140	104	27	9
733	I’ve got bad news. You only have a shelf life of three weeks.	1.3214	0.05560	112	83	22	7
734	I'll have to remove your nose...	1.3212	0.04962	137	101	28	8
735	You have tuberculosis.	1.3211	0.05664	109	81	21	7
736	Let's turn that mouth over and see if that cheers you up.	1.3209	0.05146	134	100	25	9
737	Sure - we can add more eyes, but it would be cheaper to wait under the sink a few weeks.	1.3209	0.05464	134	103	19	12
738	How are Ida and the tots?	1.3208	0.06222	106	82	14	10
739	And how is Mrs. Potato Head and all the little spuds?	1.3206	0.05114	131	97	26	8
740	You say you're feeling kind of fried?	1.3206	0.04998	131	96	28	7
741	Honestly, this nose job is child's play.	1.3203	0.04605	153	112	33	8
742	You can get a second opinion, but your brain will still be turned to mash.	1.3203	0.04414	153	110	37	6
743	This motherfucker	1.3200	0.05859	125	98	14	13
744	Your transition is going to be very straightforward, physically, but have you prepared yourself for the opinions of those who have no right to judge you?	1.3200	0.05518	125	95	20	10
745	No, not a brain tuber.	1.3200	0.04853	150	112	28	10
746	You’ve cut out salt, sugar and fat, now you need to work on the starch.	1.3194	0.05088	144	109	24	11
747	It's actually completely normal. Just keep track of them so you can put them back in later.	1.3193	0.05054	119	86	28	5
748	I'm really sorry, but, we're found several new eyes.	1.3193	0.05328	119	88	24	7
749	We can rearrange things, but basically you’ll still be a potato.	1.3190	0.05281	116	85	25	6
750	It says here you sit on the couch all day.	1.3185	0.05221	135	102	23	10
751	No matter how you slice it, you're still a potato.	1.3185	0.05428	135	104	19	12
752	It says here you're not peeling well.	1.3185	0.04893	135	99	29	7
753	So we did find some interesting things during the rectal exam.	1.3185	0.04785	157	118	28	11
754	Sir, I'm fairly certain you can remove that yourself.	1.3182	0.05469	110	81	23	6
755	Yes, it can be somewhat traumatic, Mr. Head. However, many would consider interchangeable parts a considerable advantage in life.	1.3182	0.05193	132	99	24	9
756	What is there specifically about people sticking things on you that you don’t like”.	1.3182	0.05469	110	81	23	6
757	So... How many packets of ketchup would you say you consume in a typical week?	1.3182	0.05909	110	84	17	9
758	So your mother was twice baked,you father was hashed. What about the tots?	1.3182	0.05517	132	102	18	12
759	I’m afraid you have a brain tuber.	1.3179	0.05093	151	116	22	13
760	The good news is it's a tuber, not a tumor.	1.3178	0.04920	129	94	29	6
761	Before I get to your CT scan results, can you briefly explain how you got up there?	1.3178	0.05042	129	95	27	7
762	Yes, I’m an ophthalmologist, but you’re going to have to see a proctologist about your eyes.	1.3178	0.05879	107	81	18	8
763	In the most professional way possible, I am going to have to ask you to open your butt.	1.3175	0.05363	126	95	22	9
764	It says you’re here for a nose job, an arm job, a leg job, an ear job…	1.3175	0.05243	126	94	24	8
765	I may need to refer you plastic surgeon.	1.3175	0.05243	126	94	24	8
766	My diagnosis is that your decisions to work from home AND get a Netflix subscription have caused you to become a couch potato.	1.3172	0.04962	145	109	26	10
767	Only two eyes. You have little chance of reproducing.	1.3171	0.05074	123	90	27	6
768	The knee replacement is out, but a nose job is an option.	1.3169	0.04511	142	102	35	5
769	You say that life is just pulling you apart...	1.3167	0.05421	120	90	22	8
770	I’m sorry to have to tell you that your growth spurt is over.	1.3165	0.04498	158	116	34	8
771	Cut back on the starch.	1.3162	0.05381	117	87	23	7
772	Are you sure you want a nose job? The procedure could take as much as 45 seconds.	1.3162	0.04953	117	84	29	4
773	You have too few eyes for a potato of your age.	1.3162	0.04862	136	100	29	7
774	For the tenth time: you don't have tuberculosis	1.3162	0.05081	136	102	25	9
775	I see that you're a bit of a couch potato.	1.3161	0.04461	155	113	35	7
776	Mrs. Potato Head says you always whip yourself into a frenzy right before Thanksgiving” What’s that about	1.3158	0.05616	114	86	20	8
777	I'd suggest going home and relaxing in a tub full of butter or sour cream.	1.3155	0.04635	168	127	29	12
778	Oh, I’m sorry. Mr. Po-tah-to Head.	1.3154	0.04770	149	111	29	9
779	So, what brings you in here today? Let me guess, you can't decide if your mind is fried, or just half-baked?	1.3154	0.05354	130	99	21	10
780	Actually, replacing all your features is a lot less trouble than you might have thought.	1.3154	0.05241	130	98	23	9
781	Good news---we found a leg donor."	1.3153	0.05427	111	82	23	6
782	There’s a lump on your neck. I’m sending you to the eye doctor.	1.3151	0.04636	146	107	32	7
783	And for your tater tots, we also offer pediatric care.	1.3151	0.05212	146	113	20	13
784	Sir, I'm not sure I'm qualified to talk about detachment issues...	1.3150	0.05443	127	97	20	10
785	It's "DOCTOR Peoplehead" to you, sir.	1.3148	0.05681	108	81	20	7
786	It's just a mild case of feigned Republican hysteria. I'm prescribing a grain of salt.	1.3145	0.05168	124	92	25	7
787	Exercise is the only cure for Couch Pototoe syndrome.	1.3145	0.04816	159	121	26	12
788	You shouldn't be upset. A lot of people see their relatives at McDonald's.	1.3145	0.04816	159	121	26	12
789	Your fertility test shows you're not able to have tots.	1.3143	0.05373	140	109	18	13
790	I'm sorry, but it's now illegal for us here in Idaho to give you any gender-affirming changes, Mx Potatohead.	1.3143	0.05948	105	80	17	8
791	Would you consider becoming an organ donor?	1.3143	0.05296	105	76	25	4
792	Good news. Your xray shows nothing.	1.3143	0.04871	140	104	28	8
793	I'm afraid we've found a tuber.	1.3140	0.04984	121	88	28	5
794	Sorry, you need to cut down on starches and carbs.	1.3139	0.05155	137	104	23	10
795	So Mr. Tuberville...may I call you Tommy?	1.3139	0.05258	137	105	21	11
796	So it's what I suspected, Tuberculosis.	1.3139	0.05155	137	104	23	10
797	On second thought, why don't we just skip the colonoscopy.	1.3137	0.04771	153	115	28	10
798	We're going to refer you to our ear, nose, eyes, hat, moustache, shoes and pants specialist.	1.3137	0.05034	153	118	22	13
799	I can prescribe Velcro for the hat slippage.	1.3136	0.05476	118	89	21	8
800	How are you peeling lately?	1.3134	0.04903	134	99	28	7
801	You appear to be unusually high in potassium.	1.3133	0.04836	150	113	27	10
802	Your carb levels are very high."	1.3129	0.04904	147	111	26	10
803	The diagnostic testing indicates that the problem is all in your head.	1.3129	0.04904	147	111	26	10
804	Another nose job?	1.3125	0.05234	112	82	25	5
805	You need to take better care of yourself. Replacement parts are much harder to come by now.	1.3125	0.05406	128	98	20	10
806	Is that "potato" or "potahto"?	1.3125	0.05173	128	96	24	8
807	I know you and your wife want children, but you’ll have to settle for tots.”	1.3121	0.04945	141	106	26	9
808	You're never going to guess where we found your glasses.	1.3121	0.05046	141	107	24	10
809	Your colonoscopy yielded some interesting results.	1.3120	0.05133	125	93	25	7
810	I see you've grown arms and feet. You should've quit while you were a head.	1.3119	0.06210	109	86	12	11
811	I’m sorry but there is no insertion site for the part you are requesting	1.3116	0.04911	138	103	27	8
812	Now that you're out in the sun, be careful not to peel.	1.3116	0.04911	138	103	27	8
813	You're not Mr. H. Dumpty??	1.3115	0.05216	122	91	24	7
814	According to your labs, it looks like you've been spending a lot of time on the couch.	1.3115	0.04950	122	89	28	5
815	I need a spudum sample.	1.3115	0.05470	122	93	20	9
816	It appears you've had an excessive amount of facial reconstructive work done.	1.3113	0.05899	106	81	17	8
817	I am very sorry Mr Potato Head but that part is no longer available ".	1.3108	0.04968	148	113	24	11
818	More exercise . And maybe cut the carbs.	1.3107	0.06019	103	79	16	8
819	You probably shouldn’t borrow your wife’s eyes even if they are a similar prescription.	1.3106	0.05173	132	100	23	9
820	I'm afraid we can't accept parts of your body as payment.	1.3106	0.05283	132	101	21	10
821	Let's start with your legs. You don't have any.	1.3103	0.05532	116	88	20	8
822	Well…let’s remove that ear and take a look.	1.3101	0.04643	129	93	32	4
823	As your doctor I can't have you for dinner, but as your friend I can.	1.3101	0.05019	129	96	26	7
824	So you were born Russet but identify now as Kennebec?	1.3101	0.05255	129	98	22	9
825	If only managing depression was as simple as sticking a smile onto your face.	1.3097	0.05195	113	83	25	5
826	I’m Dr. Quayle. Is that Potato or Potatoe ?	1.3097	0.05633	113	86	19	8
827	It turns out that when your wife called you a malignant tuber she wasn't too far off.	1.3097	0.05907	113	88	15	10
828	I'm afraid it will cost you an arm and a leg.	1.3095	0.04842	126	92	29	5
829	I'm sorry -- that piece wasn't in the box...	1.3095	0.04972	126	93	27	6
830	We found some unexpected things during your colonoscopy.	1.3095	0.05341	126	96	21	9
831	I specialize in eyes, ears, nose, throat, hat, shoes, and mustache.	1.3091	0.05441	110	82	22	6
832	I have a filet mignon in the next room. I think you two would make a perfect pair.	1.3089	0.04916	123	90	28	5
833	Everything looks in place.	1.3089	0.05049	123	91	26	6
834	Is that potato with an "e"?	1.3087	0.04656	149	111	30	8
835	The news isn't great, but I need you to put on a happy face.	1.3083	0.05265	120	90	23	7
836	And those roots are coming out of, where?	1.3083	0.05131	120	89	25	6
837	Do you remember when it was last attached?	1.3083	0.05265	120	90	23	7
838	I'm going to prescribe a nose with no mustache and a bigger smile mouth	1.3077	0.04280	169	125	36	8
839	I'm sorry to tell you that you have Potato Head.	1.3077	0.05216	117	87	24	6
840	Unfortunately the C-scan shows a large tuber	1.3077	0.05333	130	100	20	10
841	I’m happy to report that all of your appendages were retrieved during the colonoscopy.	1.3077	0.05552	130	102	16	12
842	I'm happy to say your surgery was a great success. Everything is back in the right place.	1.3077	0.04783	143	107	28	8
843	Let's see about getting you some legs.	1.3067	0.04725	150	113	28	9
844	Well, the good news is you will never have any knee problems.....	1.3066	0.05340	137	107	18	12
845	I am afraid of people threatening to rearrange my face.	1.3065	0.05144	124	93	24	7
846	Good news. I didn't find any soft spots.	1.3065	0.05631	124	97	16	11
847	Your repeated marijuana use has led to a condition we call "twice baked".	1.3065	0.05513	124	96	18	10
848	I understand you’re feeling empty inside	1.3065	0.05513	124	96	18	10
849	Well, everything seems to be in the right place this time.	1.3065	0.05015	124	92	26	6
850	Your gender reassignment surgery will only take two minutes.	1.3063	0.06110	111	88	12	11
851	'I'm giving you a prescription for a handle bar mustache, a top hat and huge four finger hands'	1.3061	0.06052	98	75	16	7
852	Well you sure have gotten the starch knocked out of you.	1.3060	0.04881	134	100	27	7
853	And you're sure it's your knee that's bothering you, Mr. Head?	1.3058	0.05609	121	94	17	10
854	Now tell me if it hurts if I switch your hat for your eyeball.	1.3058	0.05485	121	93	19	9
855	I'm prescribing new ears, eyes and nose.	1.3058	0.05228	121	91	23	7
856	Mr. Potatohead, your bloodwork indicates you have way too much starch in your diet	1.3056	0.04546	144	106	32	6
857	I suspect that you spend a little too much time on the couch.	1.3053	0.05185	131	100	22	9
858	Unfortunately,your symptoms appear to be all in your head.	1.3053	0.05297	131	101	20	10
859	I’m going to order some sides.	1.3053	0.04953	131	98	26	7
860	Let me just check in my junk drawer to see if I can find you another ear.	1.3051	0.05178	118	88	24	6
861	I’m sorry. It’s blight.	1.3050	0.05127	141	109	21	11
862	We could perform a French frie-ectomy to make you thinner but there are risks!	1.3048	0.06071	105	82	14	9
863	And you say you keep these multiple personas...in your butt?	1.3048	0.06071	105	82	14	9
864	It appears there have been some complications around your gender reassignment surgery.	1.3047	0.05029	128	96	25	7
865	We can rule out any trauma to the knee.	1.3047	0.05384	128	99	19	10
866	How long have you felt half baked.	1.3047	0.05268	128	98	21	9
867	I’m sorry, there’s nothing we can do. To put it bluntly, you’re baked.	1.3043	0.05408	115	87	21	7
868	Fortunately, you're an ideal candidate for a transplant.	1.3041	0.04950	148	114	23	11
869	I hope it isn't inappropriate to say, but I'm a big fan of your work in Toy Story.	1.3040	0.04980	125	93	26	6
870	I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to move around some things.	1.3040	0.05591	125	98	16	11
871	Wait, ALL of your parts are interchangeable?.	1.3040	0.05591	125	98	16	11
872	Well, it's not 'restless leg syndrome'	1.3040	0.05355	125	96	20	9
873	You’re looking very put together today; what seems to be the problem?	1.3040	0.05108	125	94	24	7
874	You have 20-20-20-20-20-20 vision.	1.3040	0.05355	125	96	20	9
875	The procedure has a risk of choking hazard,small parts.	1.3039	0.05709	102	77	19	6
876	My recommendation? A change of face, and you’re a new man.	1.3037	0.05180	135	104	21	10
877	Those extra eyes should probably be removed.	1.3037	0.04734	135	100	29	6
878	The bad news is we have to replace three vital organs. The good news is you don’t require surgery.	1.3036	0.05649	112	86	18	8
879	Your temperature at 350 is concerning me.	1.3033	0.04923	122	90	27	5
880	I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you haven't been watching your carbs . . . .	1.3032	0.04330	155	114	35	6
881	Please don't leave your mouth at the dentist's next time.	1.3028	0.04792	142	107	27	8
882	I'm afraid your carb levels are just off the scales.	1.3028	0.04996	142	109	23	10
883	Prickly sensations in the face...any other problems?	1.3028	0.04996	142	109	23	10
884	I don't think you have a leg to stand on."	1.3028	0.05607	109	83	19	7
885	Any replacement surgeries I should be aware of?	1.3025	0.05411	119	91	20	8
886	We were able to successfully remove the extra eyes.	1.3023	0.05116	129	98	23	8
887	You're in okay shape, but do you really want to go to France?	1.3023	0.05677	129	103	13	13
888	The results of your rectal exam were . . . interesting.	1.3022	0.04860	139	105	26	8
889	I’m afraid it’s all in your head	1.3020	0.04538	149	111	31	7
890	You need to lose some weight. I recommend we remove your hat, nose, mustache, and feet.	1.3016	0.05318	126	97	20	9
891	You passed the fork test.	1.3015	0.04819	136	102	27	7
892	And how long have you been spelling your name with an "e"	1.3015	0.05040	136	104	23	9
893	Where's your other ear?	1.3009	0.04850	113	82	28	3
894	It appears to be root-rot	1.3009	0.05606	113	87	18	8
895	My diagnosis? Idaho.	1.3009	0.05316	113	85	22	6
896	It's a simple procedure, but it'll cost you and arm and a leg.	1.3008	0.05155	123	93	23	7
897	Your eyes, nose and ears will have to come off.	1.3008	0.05024	123	92	25	6
898	I'm afraid that type of softening comes with age.	1.3008	0.05648	123	97	15	11
899	"So, how do you say 'potato'?"	1.3008	0.05407	123	95	19	9
900	I'm sure you already know this, but you really need to avoid getting baked or fried.	1.3008	0.05407	123	95	19	9
901	So sometimes it feels as if your facial features are rearranged?	1.3008	0.05407	123	95	19	9
902	Good news. Your blight, sprouts, and tuber-culosis tests came back normal."	1.3008	0.04889	133	100	26	7
903	Your overall condition suggests you've been spending too much time on the couch.	1.3008	0.05117	133	102	22	9
904	Not gonna sugarcoat it - you have blight.	1.3008	0.05005	133	101	24	8
905	You’re fine. It’s all in your head.	1.3007	0.05064	143	111	21	11
906	Your stress is almost certainly job-related. Can you find work somewhere other than McDonald's?	1.3000	0.05238	140	110	18	12
907	That IS the problem. You do have eyes in the back of your head.	1.3000	0.05422	130	102	17	11
908	I'm not actually that kind of plastic surgeon.	1.3000	0.04963	130	98	25	7
909	So where were you when you last saw your right arm?	1.3000	0.05081	130	99	23	8
910	Well Mrs. Potatohead,your tests results from Hasbro indicate your transition will be a snap!	1.3000	0.05774	100	76	18	6
911	I have a couple of half-baked ideas for your treatment.	1.3000	0.05104	120	90	24	6
912	You have no legs.	1.2993	0.04671	147	111	28	8
913	Good news! No parts are missing.	1.2993	0.04789	137	103	27	7
914	Gender reassignment surgery is fairly easy in your case.	1.2993	0.04900	137	104	25	8
915	We weren’t able to do the colonoscopy.	1.2993	0.04900	137	104	25	8
916	It says here that your final wishes are to be baked and not mashed.	1.2993	0.04900	137	104	25	8
917	OK you're labs are clear, but you should stay away from butter, sour cream, cheese, bacon, salt, & of course anything fried.	1.2992	0.04913	127	95	26	6
918	It says here you lost some family members in a horrible hash brown incident?	1.2991	0.05328	117	89	21	7
919	I recommend you cut back on the carbs.	1.2991	0.05188	117	88	23	6
920	You say you have a family history of removable parts.	1.2991	0.05188	117	88	23	6
921	The good news is, you are indeed a potato. The bad news is, I'm hungry.	1.2991	0.05328	117	89	21	7
922	There is also a French treatment option. I like it but I don’t think you will.	1.2991	0.05510	107	81	20	6
923	Well, what can I say...you are what we eat.	1.2991	0.05347	107	80	22	5
924	Your BMI is perfect, for a potato.	1.2990	0.05707	97	73	19	5
925	The success of your surgery will depend on the parts department .	1.2990	0.05317	97	71	23	3
926	Perfectly normal	1.2990	0.05892	97	74	17	6
927	Plastic surgery is your only option.	1.2990	0.05892	97	74	17	6
928	You need to cut down on starch.	1.2987	0.04619	154	117	28	9
929	It says here that you also have a bucket of parts?	1.2986	0.04836	144	110	25	9
930	Can you be more specific about how your life is falling to pieces?	1.2985	0.04972	134	102	24	8
931	You might want to go easy on the sour cream for a while.	1.2985	0.04858	134	101	26	7
932	Congratulations on the birth of your tater tots.	1.2984	0.05245	124	95	21	8
933	You've changed since we last met.	1.2984	0.05369	124	96	19	9
934	I'm afraid I have bad news for you. You'll be baked in a week.	1.2984	0.05245	124	95	21	8
935	Mr. po-TAH-to? Sorry if I'm miss-pronouncing it.	1.2984	0.04989	124	93	25	6
936	You're spending way too much time on the couch	1.2982	0.05563	114	88	18	8
937	Put on your happy face.	1.2982	0.05421	114	87	20	7
938	Sorry we called you in before your test results were ready. Big misunderstanding when I asked the nurse for Head.	1.2981	0.06092	104	82	13	9
939	I'm sorry, Mr Head - your soft gray blemishes have metastasized and you have no pulse. Do you have a Do Not Mash Me order in place?	1.2981	0.05937	104	81	15	8
940	Your headaches are likely related to the plastic spike jammed into your skull.	1.2979	0.04905	141	108	24	9
941	For a potato your age, that is a perfectly normal amount of eyes.	1.2977	0.04809	131	98	27	6
942	I've seen tuberculosis before, but this is ridiculous.	1.2977	0.04809	131	98	27	6
943	You’ll have to tell Mrs Potato-head that Amazon no longer sells that part	1.2975	0.05333	121	93	20	8
944	I'll step outside while you take off your face.	1.2975	0.05202	121	92	22	7
945	So, Mr. Russett, I'm prescribing Atkins.	1.2973	0.05808	111	87	15	9
946	OK, if you could just remove your hat and shoes, as well as your mustache, ears, eyes, arms and eyebrows I'll start the exam.	1.2970	0.06221	101	80	12	9
947	Why, yes, I would say we are more than the sum of our parts. Why do you ask?	1.2970	0.05724	101	77	18	6
948	No more stuffing yourself with butter, bacon and sour cream.	1.2970	0.05179	101	74	24	3
949	Well, you're looking chipper, Mr. Potatohead...er, sorry!	1.2969	0.05005	128	97	24	7
950	Good news. The tests came back today and you're a benign tuber.	1.2969	0.05245	128	99	20	9
951	You need to stay off the couch and get more exercise.	1.2969	0.05245	128	99	20	9
952	Hmm, so it looks like tuber-culosis.	1.2969	0.05005	128	97	24	7
953	The genetic test is positive -- Irish-Russian.	1.2966	0.05289	118	90	21	7
954	It seems you’re eating too much starch.”	1.2966	0.05150	118	89	23	6
955	So your chart lists your occupation as “You Tuber.” Tell me more about that.	1.2963	0.05305	108	81	22	5
956	I'm sorry, I can't recommend a knee replacement.	1.2963	0.05773	108	84	16	8
957	Congrats, You are a perfect donor for your wife.	1.2960	0.05208	125	96	21	8
958	You're starch level is too high , you have a lot of dirt in your ears , but your eyes are fine .	1.2957	0.04779	115	84	28	3
959	Way too many carbs.	1.2957	0.05236	115	87	22	6
960	At your age, the first thing to go is the legs.	1.2957	0.05380	115	88	20	7
961	Good news! You show no signs of being half-baked.	1.2957	0.05089	115	86	24	5
962	Sorry, We can exchange everything but at your core, you’ll still be a potato.	1.2955	0.04898	132	100	25	7
963	Do you have a history of French fries in your family?	1.2955	0.05456	132	105	15	12
964	I recommend cutting back on salt, butter and sour cream...	1.2953	0.04903	149	116	22	11
965	Okay, according to your chart, last name “Potato,” first name “Head.” And the reason for your visit is “Legs too short to dance.” Do I have that right, Mr Head?	1.2952	0.05567	105	80	19	6
966	Your request to become Mrs. Potato Head is possible, just take of your hat and mustache!	1.2951	0.05544	122	96	16	10
967	Fine. Get a second opinion, but I’ll still be a doctor and you’ll still be a potato.	1.2951	0.05421	122	95	18	9
968	This is a routine exam, no need for me to take you apart.	1.2947	0.06147	95	74	14	7
969	You’ve got three options: baked, fried or, my personal recommendation, mashed with butter and chives.	1.2946	0.05476	112	86	19	7
970	As I suspected,it appears to be a rather sizable tuber.	1.2946	0.05327	112	85	21	6
971	Were you in Idaho during the pandemic?	1.2946	0.04971	129	98	24	7
972	So is your advanced directive baked or French fries?	1.2941	0.05384	119	92	19	8
973	Looks like we are still waiting for your insurance to approve the prior authorization to remove your hat.	1.2941	0.05250	119	91	21	7
974	I'm sorry to have to tell you, but you've got tuber-culosis.	1.2941	0.05843	102	79	16	7
975	BMI is not short for boiled, mashed or instant.	1.2941	0.05642	119	94	15	10
976	Headaches - got it. Any pain in the lower body?	1.2937	0.04637	143	108	28	7
977	My advice—go easy on the carbs.	1.2937	0.04845	143	110	24	9
978	You might want to pop in your angry eyes before you hear this.	1.2937	0.05294	126	98	19	9
979	Your vision is great! 20/20/20/20/20/20/20/20!	1.2937	0.05294	126	98	19	9
980	Now, for your tuber-culosis vaccine.	1.2937	0.04921	126	95	25	6
981	Sorry, but I don’t know of any way you can save face.	1.2937	0.04790	126	94	27	5
982	Take two pats of butter and call me in the morning.	1.2937	0.04790	126	94	27	5
983	So you feel like you have eyes growing out of the back of your head?	1.2936	0.05099	109	81	24	4
984	I’m having a hard time pulling myself together Doc - I really got smashed last night!	1.2936	0.05422	109	83	20	6
985	Actually, your lucky not to have any. Knees are nothing but trouble.	1.2936	0.05422	109	83	20	6
986	No worries your health is fine. You’ll live forever. You’re made of plastic.	1.2936	0.05873	109	86	14	9
987	Well, I have to admit that your sex reassignment surgery was much easier than I anticipated.	1.2932	0.04626	133	99	29	5
988	You seem to be addicted to plastic cosmetic procedures.	1.2932	0.04866	133	101	25	7
989	If you find your other ear, do come in so I can take a look.	1.2932	0.04501	133	98	31	4
990	The test confirms that you have eyes in the back of your head.	1.2932	0.04981	133	102	23	8
991	No worries, not being able to find your extremities comes with aging.	1.2932	0.05094	133	103	21	9
992	A little sour cream and some chives and you'll be perfect.	1.2931	0.05051	116	87	24	5
993	Really, I need you naked for a complete physical. No hat. No shoes.	1.2931	0.05051	116	87	24	5
994	I can do the nose job, but I'll have to order the part.	1.2929	0.05788	99	76	17	6
995	Last question: How did you hop up there?	1.2929	0.05788	99	76	17	6
996	I’m referring you to a potiarist.	1.2929	0.05964	99	77	15	7
997	If the kids won’t give you your right arm back, we can order one.	1.2929	0.05607	99	75	19	5
998	But you identify as a french fry.	1.2929	0.05420	99	74	21	4
999	Have you considered becoming an organ donor?	1.2927	0.05257	123	95	20	8
1000	As I told you at your last exam, your high potassium levels are hereditary.	1.2927	0.05382	123	96	18	9
1001	Only two eyes but otherwise perfectly healthy.	1.2927	0.05128	123	94	22	7
1002	They're all interchangeable, really. We could, say, put your ear where your nose is...	1.2927	0.04861	123	92	26	5
1003	So you lost your right arm?	1.2925	0.05356	106	80	21	5
1004	I’m sorry sir, but the problem appears to be entirely in your head.	1.2925	0.05990	106	84	13	9
1005	You have a large tuberous growth, located, well, I guess you'd say, all over	1.2925	0.05522	106	81	19	6
1006	Actually, you are in pretty good shape for your age, I have never seen a potato with just two eyes!	1.2923	0.04690	130	97	28	5
1007	The procedure went excellent Mr. Head, all your parts are back in place.	1.2923	0.04429	130	95	32	3
1008	Seriously, you need to get off the couch once in a while.	1.2923	0.04690	130	97	28	5
1009	Let's talk about carbs.	1.2920	0.05433	113	87	19	7
1010	Have you tried getting off the couch?	1.2920	0.04978	113	84	25	4
1011	I'd recommend you stay away from oil.	1.2917	0.05345	120	93	19	8
1012	It won’t be so easy this time. You need a new liver.	1.2917	0.05908	96	74	16	6
1013	Well, sir, we now understand why Mrs. Potato Head has been unable to conceive.	1.2917	0.05908	96	74	16	6
1014	You gotta lower your carb intake.	1.2909	0.05379	110	84	20	6
1015	I'd suggest laying off the starchy foods.	1.2908	0.04884	141	109	23	9
1016	In order to do a full physical, I'll need you to take your hat off. And how did you get up there without a stool?	1.2906	0.05571	117	92	16	9
1017	Unfortunately,Mr. Head,all the available donor organs have square pegs.	1.2906	0.05702	117	93	14	10
1018	So I see the facial reconstruction surgery went well!	1.2906	0.05159	117	89	22	6
1019	The good news is you don’t have varicose veins; the bad news is you don’t have legs!	1.2906	0.05300	117	90	20	7
1020	So. how do you feel when people say you have eyes in the back of your head?	1.2903	0.05634	93	70	19	4
1021	And how long have "eyes" been appearing?	1.2901	0.04784	131	99	26	6
1022	You’re going to have to avoid butter and sour cream, but chives are okay.	1.2901	0.04905	131	100	24	7
1023	Doctor, I can’t feel my legs.	1.2901	0.04905	131	100	24	7
1024	You're definitely a head case.	1.2901	0.04400	131	96	32	3
1025	You have ingrown knees.	1.2900	0.05738	100	77	17	6
1026	Well, I can get you a new hat, but I’m afraid your insurance doesn’t cover a separate torso.	1.2900	0.05738	100	77	17	6
1027	Let’s see if we can get that smile back.	1.2897	0.05145	107	80	23	4
1028	No legs or torso" is no longer considered to be a pre-existing condition	1.2897	0.05145	107	80	23	4
1029	I’d say all your problems really are in your head.	1.2895	0.04781	114	84	27	3
1030	I'm glad you came to me. You're not suitable for doctors 2 and under.	1.2895	0.04941	114	85	25	4
1031	I'm prescribing sour cream.	1.2895	0.05096	114	86	23	5
1032	Your insurance doesn't cover a new hat.	1.2895	0.05096	114	86	23	5
1033	The test results are back. You are not Irish.	1.2895	0.05534	114	89	17	8
1034	You say you feel hot, fried, and spend too much time on the couch?	1.2895	0.05534	114	89	17	8
1035	Unfortunately, this operation is going to cost an arm and an ear.	1.2893	0.05434	121	95	17	9
1036	How long have you identified as Barbie ?	1.2893	0.05434	121	95	17	9
1037	You’ve gotta cut down on carbs.	1.2893	0.04901	121	91	25	5
1038	I'll give you a prescription for some new plastic parts.	1.2893	0.04901	121	91	25	5
1039	Well, you seem to have an eye growing down there.	1.2893	0.05306	121	94	19	8
1040	Just for clarification, do you pronounce it 'Potato' or ' Potahto'?" (Marie Slepin, Walla Walla WA	1.2893	0.05040	121	92	23	6
1041	Your lab results came back--it looks as if you're missing a torso.	1.2891	0.04979	128	98	23	7
1042	I recommend cutting down to just two nose changes a day.	1.2887	0.05276	97	72	22	3
1043	I completely understand, but before we have a conversation about Viagra, maybe we should talk to Hasbro first.	1.2887	0.06035	97	76	14	7
1044	I agree, if it were up to me I wouldn't call you a vegetable either.	1.2885	0.04864	104	76	26	2
1045	Your in excellent shape, all of your parts seem to be in the right places Stay away from any kitchens until after the holidays and I'll see you next year	1.2885	0.05579	104	80	18	6
1046	"Looks like the knee surgery went well."	1.2885	0.05744	104	81	16	7
1047	Technically the hat is not a prosthetic.	1.2885	0.05234	104	78	22	4
1048	When did your legs begin to shrink?	1.2883	0.05337	111	85	20	6
1049	I'm not so much worried about the size of your feet.	1.2883	0.05779	111	88	14	9
1050	I'm sorry, Mr. Head... you seem seem to be in a persistent vegetative state.	1.2883	0.05488	111	86	18	7
1051	Seems like you have all your parts, and in all the right places.	1.2881	0.05260	118	91	20	7
1052	Unfortunately, it’s just as we thought - Tuberculosis	1.2881	0.05121	118	90	22	6
1053	Have your sinus issues improved now that your nose is back in the middle of your face?	1.2881	0.05260	118	91	20	7
1054	What you're doing to your body is no longer funny."	1.2880	0.05183	125	97	20	8
1055	Before I begin, let me ask you if you are indeed an actual Idaho potato.	1.2880	0.05306	125	98	18	9
1056	Good news, you don't have a brain tuber.	1.2872	0.05583	94	71	19	4
1057	Well, Spud, everything looks pretty good. Just stay away from the butter and sour cream.	1.2872	0.05374	94	70	21	3
1058	You've got potatoes in your ears.	1.2872	0.05978	94	73	15	6
1059	It appears you're allergic to meatloaf and gravy.	1.2871	0.05688	101	78	17	6
1060	My daughter will be performing the operation.	1.2870	0.05057	115	87	23	5
1061	Your torso hurts?	1.2870	0.05206	115	88	21	6
1062	I'm afraid the problem you've reported with your knees is all in your head.	1.2869	0.05004	122	93	23	6
1063	The good news is, you don't need knee surgery.	1.2868	0.04885	136	105	23	8
1064	Sorry about the kids in the waiting room.	1.2868	0.05103	136	107	19	10
1065	Are you sure you want to be reassembled?	1.2868	0.04772	136	104	25	7
1066	And after making these small changes, my guess is you're not going to recognise yourself.	1.2867	0.04824	143	111	23	9
1067	I can refer you to a great cataract surgeon; or we can just wait for new eyes.	1.2857	0.04893	126	96	24	6
1068	You will have to see a specialist for those parts.	1.2857	0.05981	98	77	14	7
1069	Usually, people wait until I ask them to take off their clothes.	1.2857	0.04982	112	84	24	4
1070	What do you mean they won't come off?	1.2857	0.05365	105	80	20	5
1071	Have you thought about cutting carbs?	1.2857	0.04957	133	103	22	8
1072	So Spud, you're concern is that Mrs. Potato Head says you're more dud than stud?	1.2857	0.05696	91	69	18	4
1073	In your case, six feet under might not be so bad.	1.2857	0.05365	105	80	20	5
1074	Sorry to have alarmed you. What I said was that I've never seen a larger TUBER.	1.2857	0.05855	105	83	14	8
1075	Im sorry, it's a tuber.	1.2857	0.05356	119	93	18	8
1076	For your age, you look very well put together.	1.2857	0.05477	91	68	20	3
1077	I'm afraid you're going to have to cut down on your starch.	1.2857	0.05356	119	93	18	8
1078	It looks like tuberculosis.	1.2857	0.05696	91	69	18	4
1079	I see here you have a long history of blight in your family.	1.2857	0.05012	105	78	24	3
1080	There's nothing wrong with you that a little salt and butter can't fix.	1.2857	0.05387	126	100	16	10
1081	You don't have to put on a brave face for me...	1.2857	0.05083	119	91	22	6
1082	Your annual physical shows that you’ve been Baked, Boiled, Fried, Mashed, Whipped, and Shredded…looks like you’ve been through the Grinder!	1.2846	0.04912	130	100	23	7
1083	OK, so what exactly hurts you? Your head? Your legs...oh, sorry. I see the problem now.	1.2846	0.05032	130	101	21	8
1084	In most cases, missing an entire limb would be an issue	1.2846	0.05101	123	95	21	7
1085	Looks like a benign tuber	1.2845	0.05020	116	88	23	5
1086	Longer legs, sure. Spud, you are God's gift to the prosthetics industry.	1.2845	0.05167	116	89	21	6
1087	Your tests are all negative. I think your symptoms are in your head.	1.2845	0.05310	116	90	19	7
1088	So you're having difficulty removing the examination table?	1.2844	0.05389	109	84	19	6
1089	This is what happens when you hold your sneezes in.	1.2843	0.05973	102	81	13	8
1090	I like your mustache; do you think I can pull it off?	1.2843	0.05464	102	78	19	5
1091	I’m afraid it’s a tumor not a tuber.	1.2842	0.05731	95	73	17	5
1092	Bake yourself for 45 minutes at 350 degrees, then call me in the morning.	1.2841	0.06036	88	68	15	5
1093	Ordinarily transplantation is serious but, in your case, it would be ‘plug and play.’	1.2835	0.04987	127	98	22	7
1094	This, unfortunately, is what happens when you ignore the signs of tuber-culosis.	1.2833	0.05317	120	94	18	8
1095	We can skip the prostate exam.	1.2832	0.05254	113	87	20	6
1096	Lucky for you, the transplant will be a quick procedure.	1.2832	0.04782	113	84	26	3
1097	I’m afraid your plastics level is a problem now.	1.2832	0.05547	113	89	16	8
1098	On further consideration, gender reassignment surgery should be a breeze.	1.2832	0.05402	113	88	18	7
1099	I think we can rule out a Prostate exam.	1.2832	0.05254	113	87	20	6
1100	Your glucose levels are quite high.	1.2830	0.05321	106	81	20	5
1101	About that recurring potato masher dream.	1.2830	0.05321	106	81	20	5
1102	Well, let's not get a head of ourselves...	1.2830	0.05648	106	83	16	7
1103	For insurance, we'll need the last four of your universal product code.	1.2826	0.06051	92	72	14	6
1104	Yes, I know more than all the king's horses	1.2826	0.06051	92	72	14	6
1105	All of your test results are in. Just as I suspected, it's all in your head.	1.2826	0.05426	92	69	20	3
1106	I don’t think a chiropractor would be of much help.	1.2826	0.05642	92	70	18	4
1107	I'd recommend cutting back on dairy products like butter and sour cream.	1.2823	0.05192	124	97	19	8
1108	You can put your pants back on now.	1.2823	0.05192	124	97	19	8
1109	All your eyes are in need of prescriptions. I hope you have good insurance.	1.2821	0.05408	117	92	17	8
1110	You may feel a little worn-out, but at this age be thankful all your parts are still attached.	1.2821	0.05408	117	92	17	8
1111	If the Vigrow doesn’t help, try immersing your lower parts in a large vat of water for a couple of weeks.	1.2821	0.05128	117	90	21	6
1112	Your labs came back lumpy.	1.2821	0.05270	117	91	19	7
1113	You seem to be missing the most important attachment.	1.2818	0.05024	110	83	23	4
1114	When did you first notice it was missing?	1.2818	0.05024	110	83	23	4
1115	Your spare limb arrived from Toys 'R' Us.	1.2818	0.05500	110	86	17	7
1116	The good news is your tuber is benign	1.2816	0.05590	103	80	17	6
1117	Yes,we can do your lips	1.2816	0.05418	103	79	19	5
1118	I think a sour cream and chive diet is ill-advised.	1.2815	0.04778	135	104	24	7
1119	Your DNA test came back. You are actually 50% sweet potato.	1.2812	0.05868	96	75	15	6
1120	I'm sorry. You have tubers.	1.2810	0.05010	121	93	22	6
1121	Potassium, good.	1.2809	0.05977	89	69	15	5
1122	I can replace your eyes, ears and nose but we’ll need to call in a specialist for the hat.	1.2807	0.05361	114	89	18	7
1123	Your options are boiled, baked, mashed, fries, or chips.	1.2804	0.05757	107	85	14	8
1124	I think that you should quit while you're ahead.	1.2804	0.05908	107	86	12	9
1125	It seems your insurance no longer covers replacement limbs by HASBRO. Would you consider a 3D printer?	1.2804	0.05442	107	83	18	6
1126	I’m sorry I have to tell you, but you test came back positive for hash browns.	1.2800	0.04899	125	96	23	6
1127	You need more protein	1.2800	0.05156	125	98	19	8
1128	On the bright side, think of how many people only wish they could have eyes on the back of their head.	1.2800	0.05519	100	77	18	5
1129	May I ask your pronouns?	1.2800	0.05874	100	79	14	7
1130	Using medical marijuana does mean, sir, that you'll be opening yourself up to a lot of "You're a baked potato."	1.2800	0.05140	100	75	22	3
1131	And how's that new nose we attached last time working out for you	1.2800	0.05140	100	75	22	3
1132	How long have you identified as a zucchini?	1.2797	0.05501	118	94	15	9
1133	I’m pleased to share that every eye I removed has come back negative.	1.2797	0.05631	118	95	13	10
1134	Well, Mr. Potato Head, there's no easy way to say this, but, you're missing all of your vital organs.	1.2796	0.06185	93	74	12	7
1135	Your blood pressure is quite high, you should stay away from mashed potatoes.	1.2794	0.04972	136	107	20	9
1136	I'm afraid I have to ask ... buried, cremated or mashed?	1.2793	0.05303	111	86	19	6
1137	Fortunately for you, amputation is non-invasive and totally reversible.	1.2793	0.05303	111	86	19	6
1138	All seams to be ok except perhaps one little thing.	1.2791	0.04919	129	100	22	7
1139	Going by these results it’s all in your head.	1.2791	0.06544	86	69	10	7
1140	I'm sorry to tell you that we found a tuber.	1.2789	0.04902	147	117	19	11
1141	We all fall apart as we get older.	1.2788	0.05543	104	81	17	6
1142	We just need to replace your ears, eyes, shoes, hat, nose, pants and mouth - then you'll be as good as new.	1.2788	0.05372	104	80	19	5
1143	Well Mr. P, all of your eyes seem fine.	1.2788	0.05372	104	80	19	5
1144	'"Im afraid it's going to have to come off."	1.2788	0.05012	104	78	23	3
1145	I'm sorry, Mr. Potato Head. I'm going to need to refer you to a plastic surgeon.	1.2788	0.05709	104	82	15	7
1146	The medical term is dissociative identity disorder.	1.2787	0.04836	122	93	24	5
1147	By adding the mustache and different hat, your transition from Mrs. Potato Head is complete.	1.2787	0.05109	122	95	20	7
1148	Unfortunately, your packaging said, Penis not included.	1.2784	0.06173	97	78	11	8
1149	You need to stop treating your body like a plaything.	1.2784	0.05627	97	75	17	5
1150	I'm sorry you have nobody. I mean no body.	1.2784	0.05997	97	77	13	7
1151	Go easy on the carbs!	1.2784	0.05022	97	72	23	2
1152	Please remove your face, arms ears and shoes. The hat can stay.	1.2784	0.05997	97	77	13	7
1153	Hmm. I think I’m going to send you for a microwave.	1.2783	0.05319	115	90	18	7
1154	Have you tried putting your arm where mustache is?	1.2783	0.05174	115	89	20	6
1155	On a scale of one to ten: How baked do you feel?	1.2783	0.05174	115	89	20	6
1156	Good news! You still have only two eyes.	1.2778	0.05709	108	86	14	8
1157	My nurse tells me you're worried about the new eyes you keep growing.	1.2778	0.05556	108	85	16	7
1158	Are you sure about the plastic surgery?	1.2778	0.04865	126	97	23	6
1159	The reason you were having trouble hearing in your right ear was because it had been shoved up your backside.	1.2773	0.05192	119	93	19	7
1160	Mr. Head, Your Carb levels are still too high. I'd also like for you to work on building up your arms.	1.2773	0.05053	119	92	21	6
1161	And with respect to surgery, we've literally got tons of options.	1.2772	0.05822	101	80	14	7
1162	Your sedentary lifestyle precedes you.	1.2772	0.05472	101	78	18	5
1163	Don’t worry, the problem with your skin peeling is normal.”	1.2772	0.05822	101	80	14	7
1164	With Thanksgiving fast approaching, you might consider going off the grid.	1.2772	0.05650	101	79	16	6
1165	Unfortunately, your insurance does not cover replacement parts.	1.2772	0.05288	101	77	20	4
1166	So sir, you feel like there are eyes in the back of your head?	1.2769	0.04886	130	101	22	7
1167	You must eliminate starch and see me again in 3 weeks	1.2769	0.04505	130	98	28	4
1168	Peeling any better?	1.2768	0.04947	112	85	23	4
1169	Now about your complaint of ED, Mr. Head, I think I see the problem.	1.2766	0.05538	94	72	18	4
1170	Try to cut down on starch.	1.2764	0.04939	123	95	22	6
1171	Removing the eyes in the back of your head won't involve a full peel.	1.2764	0.05202	123	97	18	8
1172	I’m going to refer you to an eye doctor.	1.2762	0.05152	105	80	21	4
1173	I'd advise you to spend a little less time on the couch.	1.2761	0.04900	134	105	21	8
1174	Your bloodwork confirms that you’re a good source of potassium.	1.2759	0.04987	116	89	22	5
1175	You say you’ve been having nightmares about french fries?	1.2759	0.04834	116	88	24	4
1176	You're in fine health. Just be very, very careful getting down from there.	1.2755	0.05385	98	75	19	4
1177	You need to spend a little more time at the gym and a little less on the couch.	1.2755	0.05385	98	75	19	4
1178	You say you feel like you're missing something?	1.2755	0.06116	98	79	11	8
1179	I'm afraid it's the famine.	1.2747	0.05861	91	71	15	5
1180	'Your surgical history's quite extensive: two hip replacements, both arms, rhinoplasty, multiple eye jobs, . . . ."	1.2747	0.05861	91	71	15	5
1181	Good news! Your test results revealed a tuber, not a tumor...	1.2747	0.05861	91	71	15	5
1182	Good news, there is a cure. Bad news, it entails being submerged in a jacuzzi of boiling oil before being cut to pieces and having salt poured into your wounds…	1.2747	0.06066	91	72	13	6
1183	You may get dressed now.	1.2747	0.05861	91	71	15	5
1184	Report here says your brain is mush... I mean mashed. But better than fried.	1.2747	0.05649	91	70	17	4
1185	Plastic surgery?	1.2745	0.05242	102	78	20	4
1186	Your butter and chive levels are through the roof !	1.2745	0.05424	102	79	18	5
1187	So good news...we go in the box,snap the new one in place and off you go	1.2743	0.05067	113	87	21	5
1188	I recommend rubbing oil on your skin to keep it soft.	1.2742	0.05036	124	97	20	7
1189	Glad to see you are so well put together, Mr. P.	1.2742	0.04904	124	96	22	6
1190	It appears that all of your parts are firmly intact.	1.2742	0.05164	124	98	18	8
1191	On the bright side, most people thought you would be dead by now.	1.2738	0.05449	84	63	19	2
1192	Your eyesight is good but you need new ears.	1.2738	0.05706	84	64	17	3
1193	Well,you seem to have all your parts.	1.2738	0.05706	84	64	17	3
1194	Let’s turn that frown upside down.	1.2737	0.05487	95	73	18	4
1195	Exactly how many growth hormone pills have you been taking every day, Mr. Peanut?”	1.2737	0.05687	95	74	16	5
1196	If you cut down on the butter, bacon bits, sour cream, cheese, and all that stuff, you'll be in better shape, but you'll lose most of your friends.	1.2737	0.06068	95	76	12	7
1197	It's the Ozempic face that concerns me, doctor.	1.2737	0.05687	95	74	16	5
1198	So you're feeling empty inside... any other symptoms?	1.2737	0.05687	95	74	16	5
1199	How long have you been peeling poorly?	1.2736	0.05283	106	82	19	5
1200	Let's try a different nose this time.	1.2736	0.05110	106	81	21	4
1201	Your coverage allows for 1.6 replacement parts per year. Let's talk about your options and priorities.	1.2736	0.05451	106	83	17	6
1202	What are your pronouns again?	1.2736	0.05283	106	82	19	5
1203	I could prescribe you viagra, but in your case, I feel like there's a much easier solution.	1.2736	0.05283	106	82	19	5
1204	Meniscus tear? I'm not so sure.	1.2736	0.04746	106	79	25	2
1205	I suggest 350 degrees for an hour. You can stay in longer, but your skin will toughen.	1.2736	0.05925	106	86	11	9
1206	I recommend 450 degrees for one hour instead of the deep fryer.	1.2735	0.04949	117	90	22	5
1207	For your own health, I am advising you to quit getting loaded.	1.2735	0.04642	117	88	26	3
1208	We can tackle the third eye today, but I'm afraid you'll need a referral for the missing ear.	1.2735	0.04798	117	89	24	4
1209	Have you tried taking that frown and turning it upside down?	1.2734	0.04798	128	99	23	6
1210	I don't know how to say this, but there's an ear where your genitals should be	1.2734	0.05048	128	101	19	8
1211	I'll briefly step out of the room so you can remove your body parts.	1.2727	0.05337	99	76	19	4
1212	According our records, you've had a lot of body parts replaced.	1.2727	0.05151	110	85	20	5
1213	I'm afraid you have tuber culosis.	1.2727	0.05710	99	78	15	6
1214	Frankly, your knee-reflex is... well, non-existent.	1.2727	0.05151	110	85	20	5
1215	Let's try Viagra until your replacement part arrives.	1.2727	0.04695	121	92	25	4
1216	Your genetic profile says you are more Idaho than Irish."	1.2727	0.05151	110	85	20	5
1217	Dietwise, I recommend that you avoid being fried food.	1.2727	0.04778	143	113	21	9
1218	The good news is you can do a knee replacement at home.	1.2727	0.06203	88	70	12	6
1219	You think we're toying with you?	1.2727	0.06410	88	71	10	7
1220	Your labs look pretty good but you should cut down on your carbs.	1.2721	0.04722	136	106	23	7
1221	You need to cut down on the carbohydrates.	1.2720	0.05128	125	99	18	8
1222	Good news: Your parts are intact until preschool opens tomorrow. Bad news: Mike Johnson thinks Mr. Potato Head is part of some gay agenda.	1.2720	0.05252	125	100	16	9
1223	And when did you first notice that your legs had disappeared?	1.2719	0.04871	114	87	23	4
1224	Everyone gets wrinkles; it's just that yours are tastier.	1.2718	0.05378	103	80	18	5
1225	And you say Mrs P.H. uses your missing appendage alone?	1.2718	0.05885	103	83	12	8
1226	Your pronoun of choice, please.	1.2718	0.05198	103	79	20	4
1227	I might have misunderstood you. After 3 beers did you feel Smashed? or Mashed?	1.2718	0.06045	103	84	10	9
1228	How often are you losing your pieces?	1.2717	0.05377	92	70	19	3
1229	You’re afraid your wife’s going to leave you? She already Hasbro.	1.2717	0.06007	92	73	13	6
1230	Of course, you're obese. You're a potato!	1.2717	0.05595	92	71	17	4
1231	Your replacement parts are pending under couch retrieval.	1.2712	0.05337	118	94	16	8
1232	Do you sometimes feel like you're a potato?	1.2710	0.05240	107	83	19	5
1233	And do you find yourself falling to pieces over trivial matters?	1.2710	0.05566	107	85	15	7
1234	Yes, you're in great shape for another presidential run.	1.2710	0.05722	107	86	13	8
1235	You’re in luck: Mrs. Potato Head is an exact donor match.	1.2710	0.05405	107	84	17	6
1236	Your carbohydrates are on the high side.	1.2708	0.05826	96	76	14	6
1237	Talk to Mr. peanut about his diet.	1.2708	0.05017	96	72	22	2
1238	At least you won't have knee problems later.	1.2705	0.04943	122	95	21	6
1239	There’s the matter of you storing spare parts near your prostate…	1.2705	0.05339	122	98	15	9
1240	Your tests show good levels of calcium, potassium, vitamin C but we’ve got to watch the starch.	1.2705	0.04804	122	94	23	5
1241	How long have you had these feelings that you came up from dirt	1.2705	0.04804	122	94	23	5
1242	Good news - you are benign tuber.	1.2703	0.05571	111	89	14	8
1243	Radiation therapy shrank the tumor, and made the entire oncology wing smell like tater tots.	1.2703	0.05422	111	88	16	7
1244	And stay away from the fryer.	1.2703	0.04948	111	85	22	4
1245	Good news, it’s not blight.	1.2703	0.04779	111	84	24	3
1246	The rhinoplasty worked great but if you don’t like it I can switch it out in about 2 minutes	1.2703	0.05111	111	86	20	5
1247	You misinterpreted quit while you’re a head. Go back to work.	1.2700	0.05478	100	78	17	5
1248	The results aren't good. You might want to put on your sad eyes.	1.2697	0.06140	89	71	12	6
1249	Your son will be a vegetable.	1.2697	0.06543	89	73	8	8
1250	You need to eases up on the butter and sour cream...	1.2697	0.05929	89	70	14	5
1251	In your case, plastic surgery will be quick and easy, but I don't think it's going to give you the natural look you're hoping for.	1.2697	0.05709	89	69	16	4
1252	I’ll refer you to a toddler who can rearrange your face.	1.2696	0.04674	115	87	25	3
1253	Based on our results, we've found that you're struggling with something called,"Couch Potato Disorder"	1.2696	0.05287	115	91	17	7
1254	Can remember anything about when it might’ve fallen off?	1.2696	0.05429	115	92	15	8
1255	I think it's time to start backing off the carbs.	1.2696	0.04835	115	88	23	4
1256	Where would you like me to stick the thermometer?	1.2696	0.05141	115	90	19	6
1257	It seems you’ve been spending a little too much time on the couch.	1.2696	0.05287	115	91	17	7
1258	Avoid the stove at all costs and stay away from dairy products!	1.2696	0.04990	115	89	21	5
1259	Yes, you're able to have tots, however...	1.2692	0.05098	130	104	17	9
1260	Nothing a little salt and ketchup won't fix.	1.2692	0.05505	104	82	16	6
1261	The newest GMOs have proven quite effective.	1.2692	0.04970	104	79	22	3
1262	I'm going to refer you to a plastic surgeon	1.2689	0.04728	119	91	24	4
1263	Today the ears, tomorrow the nose job, but we have to work on that smile.	1.2689	0.04575	119	90	26	3
1264	Sure, we can change everything, but it's going to cost you an arm and a leg.	1.2689	0.05297	119	95	16	8
1265	It's a simple nose job.	1.2688	0.05542	93	72	17	4
1266	Insurance won’t cover the hat transplant — it’s cosmetic.	1.2688	0.05749	93	73	15	5
1267	Insurance covers the eyes and nose but not the hat.	1.2688	0.05542	93	72	17	4
1268	It's quite normal for you to retain water.	1.2685	0.04853	108	82	23	3
1269	Good news and bad news. The good news is, you're fine. The bad news is, I'm starving.	1.2685	0.05361	108	85	17	6
1270	You say that you hardly recognize yourself?	1.2685	0.05361	108	85	17	6
1271	Lucky you! You don't even have a prostate.	1.2685	0.05361	108	85	17	6
1272	I'm concerned about your BMI.	1.2685	0.05197	108	84	19	5
1273	The results are negative, so you can go swap out your face for a happier expression.	1.2685	0.04853	108	82	23	3
1274	My condolences to the loss of your wife to a deep fryer accident	1.2683	0.05768	82	63	16	3
1275	Take off your legs and lie down so we can get started.	1.2683	0.05042	123	97	19	7
1276	I think it’s Covid, but I can’t rule out Tuber-culosis	1.2683	0.04770	123	95	23	5
1277	We definitely can make changes to your face, but looking “like Tom Selleck is not doable	1.2683	0.05768	82	63	16	3
1278	I see you've had some work done.	1.2680	0.05584	97	76	16	5
1279	And how would you rate the pain of your trauma after witnessing ketchup on fries?	1.2680	0.05773	97	77	14	6
1280	I'm sorry to tell you that you have a tuber.	1.2680	0.05773	97	77	14	6
1281	I'm sorry, sir, but your insurance company doesn't cover 'transitioning to Mrs. Potato Head'.	1.2679	0.05379	112	89	16	7
1282	It says here they dressed you up and threw you down the stairs?	1.2679	0.05670	112	91	12	9
1283	Have you tried simply avoiding the Barbie aisle?	1.2679	0.04909	112	86	22	4
1284	I have the results from your biopsy. Unfortunately, it’s a tuber.	1.2679	0.04743	112	85	24	3
1285	Just as I suspected..tuberculosis.	1.2674	0.06282	86	69	11	6
1286	Sir, this is your 5th plastic surgery appointment this week.	1.2674	0.05830	86	67	15	4
1287	I know I look put together on the outside, but I feel empty inside.	1.2674	0.05830	86	67	15	4
1288	Yes, I know you don't usually fill that hole, but a prostate exam is recommended at your age.	1.2673	0.05245	101	78	19	4
1289	I have bad news, try not to fall to pieces...	1.2673	0.05610	101	80	15	6
1290	OK, once more. No, ED medication won't help you.	1.2673	0.05430	101	79	17	5
1291	You say you are chastized by other spuds because you only have two eyse?	1.2673	0.04852	101	76	23	2
1292	I'm afraid it's going to cost you an arm and a leg...and maybe an ear.	1.2672	0.05387	116	93	15	8
1293	Watch the ketchup intake.	1.2667	0.05458	105	83	16	6
1294	So you say you're having problems in the sack?	1.2667	0.06079	90	72	12	6
1295	I’m sorry, Idaho is out of network.	1.2667	0.05288	105	82	18	5
1296	I said...new ears aren't shipping for another 5 months.	1.2667	0.05288	105	82	18	5
1297	I know you thought you saw blood, but it was just ketchup	1.2667	0.05428	90	69	18	3
1298	You need to stretch your legs.	1.2667	0.05784	105	85	12	8
1299	You have enough fiber but you need to exercise more	1.2667	0.05288	105	82	18	5
1300	No, not tumor; tuber!	1.2667	0.05653	90	70	16	4
1301	Well, good news. It's not a tuber.	1.2667	0.05458	105	83	16	6
1302	Cut back on the carbs.	1.2661	0.05006	124	98	19	7
1303	Once your biopsy is out of the fryer, you’re good to go	1.2661	0.05135	124	99	17	8
1304	You suffer from blight, and it may be genetic.	1.2661	0.04988	109	84	21	4
1305	Yes Mr. Potato, I can assure you that after the procedure we will be applying lactose free cheese AND lactose free sour cream near the incision.	1.2661	0.04814	109	83	23	3
1306	So, are you feeling more chipper or less chipper lately?	1.2661	0.04988	109	84	21	4
1307	The X-ray shows nothing.”	1.2660	0.05695	94	74	15	5
1308	No, phantom leg pain is not caused by excess body starch.	1.2660	0.05695	94	74	15	5
1309	I will call in a prescription for lips, but everything else looks ok.	1.2660	0.06083	94	76	11	7
1310	You’re down a peg.	1.2660	0.06083	94	76	11	7
1311	You'd like me to rearrange your entire face? Noooo problem.	1.2660	0.05278	94	72	19	3
1312	We can replace almost everything, but you'll have to grow your own eyes.	1.2660	0.05278	94	72	19	3
1313	Well Mr. Potatohead it appears that you just don’t have that particular part.	1.2656	0.04896	128	101	20	7
1314	How long have you had this fear of being eaten?	1.2655	0.05186	113	89	18	6
1315	Congratulation, your cholesterol level is surprising low	1.2655	0.05186	113	89	18	6
1316	Okay, Mr... do you pronounce it "Po-TAY-to-hed" or "Po-TAH-to-hed?"	1.2655	0.05031	113	88	20	5
1317	The test results for touching your toes were excellent.	1.2655	0.04707	113	86	24	3
1318	I see you’ve lost your glasses again.	1.2655	0.04536	113	85	26	2
1319	So here's a note, for whoever needs it, stating that you are a benign tuber.	1.2655	0.05336	113	90	16	7
1320	I don't think a paleo diet is really the answer for you.	1.2655	0.05031	113	88	20	5
1321	If you want to make tots you need to spend less time on the couch.	1.2655	0.04872	113	87	22	4
1322	I’m sorry to tell you this but you’ve sprouted. It’s only a matter of days now.	1.2655	0.05186	113	89	18	6
1323	You’re a surgeon’s dream…interchangeable parts.”	1.2655	0.05186	113	89	18	6
1324	Yes, well with Thanksgiving coming up, feeling like you're nothing but a side dish is perfectly understandable.	1.2653	0.05340	98	76	18	4
1325	I don't think Ozempic will help.	1.2653	0.05340	98	76	18	4
1326	Well sir,the good news is: we’ve determined what’s causing your e.d. However, the bad news is: Hasbro doesn’t make that part.	1.2653	0.05139	98	75	20	3
1327	So, how's that new eye working out for you?	1.2653	0.05139	98	75	20	3
1328	You need to peel yourself off your couch and be a little more spud-taneous!	1.2653	0.05533	98	77	16	5
1329	Well, you can't continue behaving like your body is just a set of parts that you can switch out willy-nilly as the mood strikes you.	1.2653	0.05139	98	75	20	3
1330	Mr. P, results are good, so put on your happy face.	1.2652	0.04416	132	101	27	4
1331	No, I'm sorry, but I cannot ethically give you an eye in the back of your head.	1.2651	0.06658	83	68	8	7
1332	You're unable to have tots.	1.2650	0.05482	117	95	13	9
1333	When was the last time you had a bowel movement?	1.2650	0.05063	117	92	19	6
1334	Your cholesterol level is, well, it’s nonexistent. Keep up the good work.	1.2647	0.05383	102	80	17	5
1335	I admit, your legs should be longer.	1.2647	0.04810	136	108	20	8
1336	Your potassium level is high.	1.2647	0.04922	136	109	18	9
1337	So, you have this feeling of pins and needles in your extremities?	1.2647	0.05200	102	79	19	4
1338	I have some bad news for you, Mr. Spud. The eyes in the back of your head have cataracts.	1.2645	0.05084	121	96	18	7
1339	your medical record looks good despite the years of child abuse you've endured.	1.2645	0.04660	121	93	24	4
1340	You may want to take out your sad face before I read your test results.	1.2644	0.05288	87	66	19	2
1341	Ok,when did everything start coming apart?	1.2644	0.05535	87	67	17	3
1342	Today we'll be removing your eyes, ears, mouth, arms, legs and eyebrows.	1.2642	0.05412	106	84	16	6
1343	I see here your grandmother suffered from blight.	1.2642	0.05735	106	86	12	8
1344	When I said, couch, potato, I didn’t mean it as a compliment.	1.2642	0.05244	106	83	18	5
1345	You should cut the carbs.	1.2640	0.04420	125	95	27	3
1346	This is technically off-label, but I'm going to suggest we try super glue.	1.2637	0.06019	91	73	12	6
1347	Yes, I know you’ve been tossed from one doctor to another, but with a fever at 104°F, what did you expect?	1.2637	0.05813	91	72	14	5
1348	Has anyone ever told you, you look like Steve Harvey?	1.2636	0.05582	110	89	13	8
1349	Yeah,I'd have to agree: "Mr. Quinoahead" may be healthier for you, but it doesn't have the same ring to it.	1.2636	0.05430	110	88	15	7
1350	Good news! Based on these lab tests, you could live for centuries - even if you're accidentally buried in a landfill.	1.2636	0.04948	110	85	21	4
1351	I think many of your problems could be solved with a change of hat.	1.2632	0.05439	95	74	17	4
1352	So you're still having a hard time staying away from carbs?	1.2632	0.05294	114	91	16	7
1353	Do you sometimes feel disconnected?	1.2632	0.05641	95	75	15	5
1354	Looks like all the pieces are in place.	1.2632	0.04992	114	89	20	5
1355	It so happens I'm also from Idaho	1.2632	0.04834	114	88	22	4
1356	So you’ve been falling apart?”	1.2632	0.05439	95	74	17	4
1357	Considering the last time you saw me you were missing one ear, your nose, your mustache, and your hat, I'd say you're looking quite good, Mr Head.	1.2626	0.05668	99	79	14	6
1358	XRays show a barbie shoe, half of a crayon and a lego man, but I suppose you happened to 'fall' on those, too.	1.2626	0.05483	99	78	16	5
1359	So, the bad news is, you are a potato head. The good news is, the hat looks fabulous on you.	1.2626	0.05847	99	80	12	7
1360	Not to worry, sprouts like this are perfectly normal for a potato of your age.	1.2626	0.05668	99	79	14	6
1361	And do you have any implants?	1.2626	0.05094	99	76	20	3
1362	So I hear you've been complaining of feeling detached?	1.2625	0.06350	80	64	11	5
1363	Changing your outlook will help. What other sets of eyes do you own?	1.2625	0.06350	80	64	11	5
1364	We've contacted Hasbro. Unfortunately, the attachment you're requesting isn't available.	1.2625	0.06096	80	63	13	4
1365	The brain puzzle work outs have clearly worked, but you need to get back to the arm and leg exercises.	1.2625	0.06595	80	65	9	6
1366	What exactly do you expect the Viagra to do?	1.2625	0.05831	80	62	15	3
1367	The nurse tells me you feel you are spuddering out.	1.2625	0.05831	80	62	15	3
1368	I'm feeling pretty baked.	1.2623	0.04911	122	96	20	6
1369	Your tests have come back. I’m afraid you have tuberculosis.	1.2623	0.04478	122	93	26	3
1370	Everything looks good — just cut back on the starch.	1.2623	0.04771	122	95	22	5
1371	You definitely have to cut back on the carbs!	1.2623	0.05047	122	97	18	7
1372	I’m going to refer you to an ear, nose, and hat specialist.	1.2621	0.05512	103	82	15	6
1373	Says here you have a fear of being mashed!	1.2621	0.05337	103	81	17	5
1374	Nothing I can do for the back - you’re spineless.	1.2621	0.04967	103	79	21	3
1375	If we attach long legs your BMI will improve markedly.	1.2621	0.05155	103	80	19	4
1376	Actually,we need to put something different in that hole today	1.2621	0.05512	103	82	15	6
1377	Most things look OK but your starch is off the charts.	1.2621	0.05682	103	83	13	7
1378	So when did this overall stiffness begin?	1.2619	0.06135	84	67	12	5
1379	May I call you Potato, or do you prefer Mr. Head	1.2619	0.06135	84	67	12	5
1380	Allow me to explain what will happen to your eyes	1.2617	0.05028	107	83	20	4
1381	When did you first notice your penis was missing?	1.2617	0.05839	107	88	10	9
1382	Luckily, your concerns are overbaked.	1.2617	0.05200	107	84	18	5
1383	You're going to have to cut down on the carbs.	1.2614	0.05480	88	68	17	3
1384	I see here you are worried about micro-plastics in your diet.	1.2614	0.06153	88	71	11	6
1385	I'm prescribing sour cream and chives.	1.2613	0.04739	111	85	23	3
1386	I understand you are feeling a bit disconnected.	1.2613	0.04909	111	86	21	4
1387	Idaho? I don't think I've ever really met anyone from Idaho before!	1.2613	0.05073	111	87	19	5
1388	Any sudden changes?	1.2613	0.05386	111	89	15	7
1389	Mr. Potato Head, I'm sorry to say it, but... you're losing your pieces.	1.2613	0.04739	111	85	23	3
1390	We need to talk about your nutrition.	1.2613	0.05386	111	89	15	7
1391	In your case, a vegetative state is a plus.	1.2609	0.05106	115	91	18	6
1392	It says here you are transgender?	1.2609	0.05106	115	91	18	6
1393	You really do have eyes in the back of your head.	1.2609	0.05106	115	91	18	6
1394	Let's put you on a low carb diet an I'll see you in a few weeks.	1.2609	0.05325	92	71	18	3
1395	Unfortunately, the test results say you're basically a vegetable.	1.2609	0.05960	92	74	12	6
1396	I just want to say, before we get started, the work you've had done thus far is really impressive.	1.2609	0.05756	92	73	14	5
1397	And when did you first notice you had extra arms stored in your backside?	1.2609	0.04636	115	88	24	3
1398	There is a high rate of phantom limb syndrome reported in your demographic group, unfortunately there's no known cure.	1.2605	0.04539	119	91	25	3
1399	Have you tried taking it off and putting it back on again?	1.2604	0.05389	96	75	17	4
1400	So, apart from your fears of being mashed, boiled, fried, diced,roasted, sauteed or shoe-stringed, you'd say you were happy with all the plastic bits?	1.2604	0.05782	96	77	13	6
1401	I have some bad news for you Mr. Head, the lab results came back positive for tuber-culosis.	1.2604	0.05969	96	78	11	7
1402	Your main problem is your high glycemic index.	1.2604	0.05589	96	76	15	5
1403	Based on the size of your head, are you any relation to the previous president?	1.2604	0.05182	96	74	19	3
1404	Your potassium levels are high, but no clue why your arms keep falling off.	1.2600	0.05617	100	80	14	6
1405	Have you considered becoming a french fries donor?	1.2597	0.06511	77	62	10	5
1406	It says here you’re scheduled for a colonoscopy but…that can’t be right.	1.2596	0.05291	104	82	17	5
1407	I'm afraid you have a basal cell carcinoma on your ear. Fortunately, it will be easy to remove.	1.2596	0.05112	104	81	19	4
1408	It's either poh-tay-tow or poh-tah-tow syndrome.	1.2596	0.04926	104	80	21	3
1409	I have your test results and I’m pleased to say they’re interchangeable.	1.2596	0.05633	104	84	13	7
1410	Just checking. In case of emergency, call Sheriff Woody?	1.2596	0.05291	104	82	17	5
1411	It says here you’re not getting enough starch. How do you explain that ?	1.2595	0.04672	131	103	22	6
1412	Cut down on carbs and work on upper body strength.	1.2593	0.05493	81	62	17	2
1413	I see your allergies are sour cream, butter, and chives.	1.2593	0.05493	81	62	17	2
1414	About that problem with your knees, when exactly was it that you last saw them?	1.2593	0.06029	81	64	13	4
1415	Idaho wants you to donate your body before you die.	1.2593	0.05158	108	85	18	5
1416	In your case, a nose job would be a very simple procedure.	1.2593	0.04810	108	83	22	3
1417	I can do the surgery but you don’t have a knee to replace.	1.2593	0.06521	81	66	9	6
1418	You may die a vegetable.	1.2589	0.05343	112	90	15	7
1419	Did your depression start when kids stopped sticking pieces of plastic into vegetables and moved onto video games?	1.2589	0.05343	112	90	15	7
1420	I do have a few medical questions, of course. But how did you get up on the examination table?	1.2589	0.05190	112	89	17	6
1421	You seem like a good candidate for a transplant.	1.2589	0.05033	112	88	19	5
1422	Sprouts are normal. Tell her there's nothing I can do.	1.2588	0.06296	85	69	10	6
1423	Would you sign my lab coat?	1.2588	0.05835	85	67	14	4
1424	Just put a little sour cream and chives on that and it will clear up in a jiffy.	1.2586	0.05212	116	93	16	7
1425	First the bad news; you're a tuber. On the bright side, the FDA has given you a Grade A rating.	1.2584	0.05656	89	70	15	4
1426	I see here that you are feeling like a nobody and have no legs to stand on.	1.2581	0.05492	93	73	16	4
1427	I'm afraid the MRI shows evidence of a large tuber.	1.2581	0.05701	93	74	14	5
1428	First, I'll need you to take off your face.	1.2577	0.05340	97	76	17	4
1429	You're going to need a hip replacement. It'll only take a minute.	1.2577	0.05538	97	77	15	5
1430	I’m sorry, but all the parts you need are on back order.	1.2577	0.05135	97	75	19	3
1431	Give us a call if you find a nose where your arm should be.	1.2577	0.05340	97	76	17	4
1432	I guess coming from me, " Mash em' boil em' stick them in a stew." Would be offensive to you.	1.2574	0.05743	101	82	12	7
1433	I'd like to keep you here overnight for amusement.	1.2574	0.05200	101	79	18	4
1434	Doc, I’m just fried.	1.2574	0.05200	101	79	18	4
1435	I'm going to refer you to a good olericulturist.	1.2574	0.05200	101	79	18	4
1436	Congratulations on your successful mustache transplant.	1.2574	0.05200	101	79	18	4
1437	You are in danger of becming a vegetable	1.2574	0.04428	136	106	25	5
1438	You’re trapped in a New Yorker cartoon, Mr. Koslowsky.	1.2571	0.05418	105	84	15	6
1439	How long have you had these "eyes" in the back of your head?	1.2571	0.05069	105	82	19	4
1440	Bad news. You need to stay off the couch and eat a low carb diet.	1.2571	0.05246	105	83	17	5
1441	The hands worked out well; now let’s see what we can do for your feet.	1.2571	0.05069	105	82	19	4
1442	Stay away from starch.	1.2571	0.04462	140	110	24	6
1443	Stay away from butter, hot oils and microwaves and you’ll be fine.	1.2569	0.05279	109	87	16	6
1444	These days it's all handled by a plastic surgeon.	1.2566	0.04833	113	88	21	4
1445	I’m sorry, but it’s just the way you were put together.	1.2566	0.04993	113	89	19	5
1446	...and stay out of the sun, so that you don't peel	1.2566	0.04833	113	88	21	4
1447	I just can't keep it together.	1.2564	0.05172	117	94	16	7
1448	The tests show you can't lose weight. You're a couch potato.	1.2564	0.06171	78	62	12	4
1449	You're perfectly fine...it could be Lyonnaise-by-Proxy syndrome."	1.2564	0.06435	78	63	10	5
1450	You need to go on a low carb diet.	1.2564	0.04879	117	92	20	5
1451	I have a treatment plan, but it is half baked	1.2561	0.05151	82	62	19	1
1452	The technical term is "half-baked."	1.2558	0.06006	86	69	12	5
1453	In my professional opinion, I'd recommend butter, sour cream, and chives.	1.2558	0.04575	129	101	23	5
1454	I'm afraid I'll have to remove all your extremities to get to the root of your problem.	1.2558	0.06006	86	69	12	5
1455	A pear-shaped body may be healthy, but you still need to cut down on the carbs!	1.2556	0.05373	90	70	17	3
1456	You should cut back on your starch.	1.2553	0.05002	94	72	20	2
1457	Your insurance allows one upgrade per year. Do you want a new shoe,a reading eye,or a different mustache?	1.2553	0.05647	94	75	14	5
1458	I'm afraid you'll need to cut down on the starch.	1.2553	0.05002	94	72	20	2
1459	Turns out you're a seed potato, not a baker.	1.2553	0.05226	94	73	18	3
1460	Nice to meet you, Joe. Now I can see why the statins your primary prescribed didn't lower your catastrophic cholesterol levels.	1.2553	0.05226	94	73	18	3
1461	You've got Tuber-culosis	1.2553	0.05440	94	74	16	4
1462	You have Tater Tots – what humans call Hemorrhoids.	1.2551	0.05292	98	77	17	4
1463	Off-the-shelf toys don't actually require a prescription.	1.2551	0.05487	98	78	15	5
1464	So far, so good. Now let’s check your tater tots.	1.2551	0.05676	98	79	13	6
1465	Well, other that that bat stuck up your nose, you're in great shape.	1.2551	0.05676	98	79	13	6
1466	Well, everything seems normal, but what's with those little gloves?	1.2551	0.05292	98	77	17	4
1467	Everything looks good. There's no reason why you can't resume your work for police departments that can't afford a sketch artist.	1.2551	0.05487	98	78	15	5
1468	Your test results all look good right now, but you really need to take better care of yourself. Parts seem to fall off as we age.	1.2551	0.05676	98	79	13	6
1469	Viagra? I am thinking more prosthetic.	1.2551	0.05487	98	78	15	5
1470	Yes, we’ll run some tests, but I think it’s probably all in your head.	1.2551	0.05292	98	77	17	4
1471	I'm sorry, Mr. Head. Anyway you slice it, you're fried.	1.2549	0.05340	102	81	16	5
1472	You know what they say,you are what you eat.	1.2549	0.05155	102	80	18	4
1473	You're gonna have to cut down on the carbs	1.2549	0.05518	102	82	14	6
1474	The tests show nothing to be concerned about. I think it's all in your head.	1.2547	0.05202	106	84	17	5
1475	We don’t accept Brown Cross Brown Shield.	1.2547	0.05027	106	83	19	4
1476	The prognosis is not good--prepare to fry.	1.2547	0.05372	106	85	15	6
1477	You say Humpty Dumpty is on your mother's side?	1.2547	0.05202	106	84	17	5
1478	I'm afraid you only have two weeks before being mashed.	1.2547	0.05537	106	86	13	7
1479	Apparently bicep add-ons are not covered by the HMO.	1.2547	0.05853	106	88	9	9
1480	You have six months to live.	1.2547	0.05372	106	85	15	6
1481	From now on stick to butter, bacon, and cheese.	1.2547	0.05372	106	85	15	6
1482	I can see on your face that the enema worked.	1.2545	0.04907	110	86	20	4
1483	Well, it's not tuberculosis.	1.2545	0.04734	110	85	22	3
1484	I know you feel empty inside, but adding all this stuff on the outside isn't going to help.	1.2545	0.04734	110	85	22	3
1485	Yes sir, it's true there are medications that can help with E.D., but you have to have something to E.	1.2545	0.05074	110	87	18	5
1486	I really suggest you cut down on the carbs.	1.2544	0.04955	114	90	19	5
1487	Have you tried replacing it with a different one?	1.2537	0.04579	134	106	22	6
1488	The problem is, too much starch in your diet.	1.2530	0.05378	83	64	17	2
1489	well none of your parts have fallen off	1.2530	0.05899	83	66	13	4
1490	Can you stick out your tongue and say ‘Au gratin’?	1.2529	0.05944	87	70	12	5
1491	Your gender reassignment surgery was a complete success, Mrs Potato.	1.2529	0.06165	87	71	10	6
1492	We ran your complaint past Chat GPT and AI referenced Occams Razor and advised, "French Fries".	1.2529	0.05715	87	69	14	4
1493	You can have children, but only ages two and up.	1.2529	0.05226	87	67	18	2
1494	Get plenty of rest and stay in the box as much as possible.	1.2529	0.05476	87	68	16	3
1495	And I’m required to ask, in the last month have you contemplated mashing, roasting, or hashing yourself?	1.2527	0.05762	91	73	13	5
1496	I see you’ve taken gender-affirming care into your own hands.	1.2527	0.05321	91	71	17	3
1497	You say you're having incessant nightmares of being fried, roasted, or mashed but have no idea why?	1.2527	0.05762	91	73	13	5
1498	I’m prescribing a little sour cream and chives. That should make everything better.	1.2527	0.05086	91	70	19	2
1499	Well,the good news is you don’t have lung cancer.	1.2527	0.05762	91	73	13	5
1500	Sorry, but the exam deductable only covers two eyes.	1.2527	0.05762	91	73	13	5
1501	And you’re happy with the possibility that surgery may leave you a vegetable?	1.2527	0.05086	91	70	19	2
1502	I could refer you to a psychologist for your attachment issues.	1.2526	0.05389	95	75	16	4
1503	Aside from that missing ear, you certainly seem chipper.	1.2526	0.05593	95	76	14	5
1504	I'm afraid the MRI showed a massive tuber.	1.2526	0.04956	95	73	20	2
1505	I'm sorry Mr Potato, unfortunately the donor wants his nose back.	1.2526	0.05593	95	76	14	5
1506	Well, the good news is it's a benign tuber...	1.2525	0.05438	99	79	15	5
1507	You really need to get off the couch!	1.2525	0.05804	99	81	11	7
1508	This operation is going to cost you an arm and a leg.	1.2524	0.05293	103	82	16	5
1509	Further testing is required. Please remove your hat, eyes, nose, ears, feet and hands. The nurse will be here to take them	1.2523	0.05327	107	86	15	6
1510	You tore your tater cuff	1.2523	0.04618	107	82	23	2
1511	I thought it was a Zoom filter, doc, and now I don't know what to do!	1.2523	0.04618	107	82	23	2
1512	I really think we need to explore the root cause of your aversions to butter and sour cream	1.2523	0.04805	107	83	21	3
1513	Whn did you start to fel that body parts were dtachd from your body	1.2523	0.04868	111	87	20	4
1514	Always use a condiment as protection from unwanted blandness.	1.2523	0.05349	111	90	14	7
1515	Unfortunately, it's genetics.	1.2522	0.04759	115	90	21	4
1516	your orida !	1.2521	0.05094	119	96	16	7
1517	I’m afraid you need a hip replacement.	1.2520	0.04842	123	98	19	6
1518	Your complaints are all in your head.	1.2500	0.05038	92	71	19	2
1519	It's not cancer; it's just a s sprout.	1.2500	0.05444	108	88	13	7
1520	Shoes off the table if you don't mind Mister.	1.2500	0.05837	84	67	13	4
1521	I'll need you to take your shoes off for the next exam, but you can leave your face on.	1.2500	0.05339	96	76	16	4
1522	I have your test results. You may want to put on a brave face.	1.2500	0.05270	92	72	17	3
1523	Mind if I call you Potato? Or do you prefer Mr Head?	1.2500	0.04484	112	86	24	2
1524	Your lab work looks delicious.	1.2500	0.05705	92	74	13	5
1525	Unfortunately, we found a lump.	1.2500	0.05152	112	90	16	6
1526	We can take you apart. But I can't guarantee we can put you back together.	1.2500	0.05657	88	70	14	4
1527	I am going to write you a prescription for a butter with a higher SPF.	1.2500	0.05198	100	79	17	4
1528	There's no easy way to say this—we left a scalpel in your compartment.	1.2500	0.05248	104	83	16	5
1529	Replacement parts are not covered by your insurance	1.2500	0.04766	108	84	21	3
1530	Before we go straight to plastic surgery, there are some other alternatives we could try first.	1.2500	0.05837	84	67	13	4
1531	The good news is your parts are all attached. The bad news is your starch levels are through the roof!!	1.2500	0.04911	96	74	20	2
1532	According to your chart, you have a very large head and no legs.	1.2500	0.04911	96	74	20	2
1533	I'm afraid it's your butt flap.	1.2500	0.05000	100	78	19	3
1534	Mr. Head, while we're all very impressed with your lovely array of outer appendages, I'm very concerned that you don't appear to have any internal organs at all.	1.2500	0.05883	88	71	12	5
1535	If this prescription doesn’t resolve your sinus issues, try a different nose.	1.2500	0.05186	80	61	18	1
1536	Sorry, I've looked and looked and you just don't have one.	1.2500	0.05658	76	59	15	2
1537	Your gender reassignment surgery will be easy -- we'll just remove the mustache and apply lipstick.	1.2500	0.06101	88	72	10	6
1538	Do you want my staff to address you as ‘Mister,’ or is just ‘Bob’ OK?	1.2500	0.05152	112	90	16	6
1539	Normally a nose job is considered irreversible, but I think we have some options.	1.2500	0.05000	100	78	19	3
1540	Cut back on the carbs in your diet!	1.2500	0.05585	84	66	15	3
1541	You’re in luck. We can just pop out the bad one and pop in a new one.	1.2500	0.05837	84	67	13	4
1542	There’s an age we all reach when it’ isn’t healthy to continue getting fried and baked	1.2500	0.05423	104	84	14	6
1543	I’ll just step out while you remove everything but your briefs.	1.2500	0.05705	92	74	13	5
1544	I haven't felt this bad since the Vice-President misspelled my name.	1.2500	0.05657	88	70	14	4
1545	...and, you have a recurring nightmare of being chased by a masher...	1.2500	0.05837	84	67	13	4
1546	You just want to see me fall, don't you?	1.2500	0.06309	84	69	9	6
1547	You know what comes next, but I'm guessing you left it at home again?	1.2500	0.05130	96	75	18	3
1548	So you have no idea how a hat, glasses, and extra sets of eyes, noses, and ears got stuck up your butt?	1.2500	0.06110	92	76	9	7
1549	We have to talk about carbs...	1.2500	0.05492	92	73	15	4
1550	Hmm... I believe it to be TUBER-culosis, oh and do get your EYES checked, stay true to your ROOTS, and say hi to Mrs. Potato for me!	1.2500	0.04561	116	90	23	3
1551	Your cholesterol is high. Avoid butter and sour cream. Chives are OK.	1.2500	0.04994	112	89	18	5
1552	How bad is it doc? Fried or mashed?	1.2500	0.05130	96	75	18	3
1553	Head aches?	1.2500	0.05585	84	66	15	3
1554	Have you gotten rid of the coach?	1.2500	0.06033	80	64	12	4
1555	It’s never too late to make some changes….	1.2500	0.05130	96	75	18	3
1556	So I see here you have a problem with your nose falling off.	1.2500	0.04794	100	77	21	2
1557	Have you ever thought of just gluing them on?	1.2500	0.05116	108	86	17	5
1558	Who did your nose job?	1.2500	0.05960	76	60	13	3
1559	Good morning, Mr. Head. May I call you Potato?	1.2500	0.06101	88	72	10	6
1560	I need you to take off your ears so I can get a closer look...	1.2479	0.05137	117	95	15	7
1561	To get your weight down, I'm putting you on a low-starch diet.	1.2479	0.04527	117	91	23	3
1562	You’re not going to like where your new nose comes from.	1.2478	0.05263	113	92	14	7
1563	And how long have you feared having your eyes plucked out?	1.2478	0.05111	113	91	16	6
1564	Good news on your physical, eyes are clear and your skin is flawless". "The only thing I can recommend, is spending less time on the couch".	1.2477	0.04904	109	86	19	4
1565	I think you're in the wrong office. This is Urology.	1.2477	0.04904	109	86	19	4
1566	When the Vice President encouraged me to ad the "e" , I never though you would be my patient.	1.2477	0.05074	109	87	17	5
1567	How many times a week do you get "baked"?	1.2476	0.04838	105	82	20	3
1568	I have to be honest,the fact that you still have arms,legs,eyes and a nose at this age is remarkable. I really wouldn’t worry about the lipid panel results at this point.	1.2476	0.05203	105	84	16	5
1569	You're suffering from hearing loss because your right ear is missing...	1.2476	0.05376	105	85	14	6
1570	In your case, rhinoplasty should be fairly simple.	1.2476	0.05203	105	84	16	5
1571	So you were the last one in,and you feel rotten?	1.2476	0.05024	105	83	18	4
1572	So what makes you think you've become a couch potato?	1.2476	0.05544	105	86	12	7
1573	How frequently do you have these nightmares of being skinned, chopped and fired?	1.2476	0.05544	105	86	12	7
1574	I guess we’ll skip the reflexes test.	1.2476	0.04645	105	81	22	2
1575	It’s an outpatient procedure. We simply replace your eyes, nose, ears, mouth, and mustache.	1.2475	0.04956	101	79	19	3
1576	These concerns appear to be all in your head.	1.2475	0.05152	101	80	17	4
1577	I see on your chart that you recently had a lower extremities scan, I just don't understand how.	1.2475	0.05700	101	83	11	7
1578	Before we do the surgery we ask that you spend a year living as a sweet potato.	1.2474	0.05490	97	78	14	5
1579	You had a great what...??	1.2474	0.05290	97	77	16	4
1580	Be careful, French fries could be fatal.	1.2473	0.05650	93	75	13	5
1581	It’s time we confront your problem in the sack.	1.2473	0.05439	93	74	15	4
1582	How do I put this—you’re starchy.	1.2473	0.05439	93	74	15	4
1583	Moving to Idaho will certainly improve your health and popularity.	1.2473	0.05220	93	73	17	3
1584	I have bad news from your rectal exam.	1.2473	0.05220	93	73	17	3
1585	In your case, gender reassignment would be a snap.	1.2473	0.05439	93	74	15	4
1586	Any family history of root vegetables?	1.2473	0.05439	93	74	15	4
1587	According to your A1C test, we need to get you on a low carb diet.	1.2472	0.05367	89	70	16	3
1588	You could definitely stand to lose some weight. As to your phobias about peelers, knives and deep-fat fryers, there's another doctor I want you to see.	1.2472	0.04868	89	68	20	1
1589	And, I'm sorry to say, after these surgeries you'll basically be a side dish.	1.2472	0.06039	89	73	10	6
1590	Yes, ED is a common problem	1.2472	0.05824	89	72	12	5
1591	Fortunately, plastic surgery will not be necessary for the transition.	1.2472	0.05367	89	70	16	3
1592	We have a little blue pill that can put the starch back into, well, that particular attachment.	1.2472	0.05824	89	72	12	5
1593	I'm afraid your insurance doesn't cover missing parts	1.2471	0.05775	85	68	13	4
1594	Not to worry- my five year old son will be here in five minutes to reattach your other ear.	1.2471	0.05268	85	66	17	2
1595	There's too much starch in your diet.	1.2466	0.06101	73	58	12	3
1596	And when you say you feel fried.....	1.2466	0.06101	73	58	12	3
1597	I’ll give you some privacy while you retrieve your glasses	1.2466	0.05441	73	56	16	1
1598	Baked” is still not allowed as a federal employee	1.2458	0.04805	118	94	19	5
1599	We removed a few bacon bits, but otherwise, the colonoscopy went as smooth as mashed potatoes.	1.2455	0.05196	110	89	15	6
1600	Unsettling news, Mr. Potato Head. Your birth certificate says you were born a yam.	1.2455	0.04690	110	86	21	3
1601	Any relation to “Studs Terkel?”	1.2455	0.04690	110	86	21	3
1602	You have to cut back on the starch.	1.2455	0.04865	110	87	19	4
1603	The tests indicate you are a hypochondriac, it's all in your head"	1.2455	0.05033	110	88	17	5
1604	Well, yes, a chemical peel would be an option.	1.2453	0.04607	106	82	22	2
1605	You must cut down on your starch intake!	1.2453	0.05159	106	85	16	5
1606	Cat get your tongue again?	1.2453	0.05159	106	85	16	5
1607	Don't worry. We have many ways to prepare you.	1.2453	0.04982	106	84	18	4
1608	I know you say you're "fried," but it doesn't look that way.	1.2453	0.05330	106	86	14	6
1609	Three eyedrops a day, and you will sprout within a week.	1.2451	0.05107	102	81	17	4
1610	Just french fries is not a good food choice.	1.2451	0.05474	102	83	13	6
1611	Mr. Head, it looks like your insurance will cover the cosmetic surgeon for the nose job but the leg extensions will have to wait since the orthopedic surgeon is out of the pegs until after Christmas.	1.2451	0.05107	102	81	17	4
1612	Your family history isn’t encouraging for longevity.	1.2451	0.04712	102	79	21	2
1613	It’s rare. I’ve seen it before, when I was very young.	1.2451	0.04914	102	80	19	3
1614	Both feet, check. Eyes, check. Ears, check. This is the best shape you've been in ages.	1.2451	0.05474	102	83	13	6
1615	What pronouns do you prefer, Mr. Potatohead?	1.2451	0.05649	102	84	11	7
1616	I believe you've been spending to much time on your couch "	1.2449	0.05629	98	80	12	6
1617	Good news- costing you an arm and a leg isn't anything you're unfamiliar with.	1.2449	0.05037	98	77	18	3
1618	I’m afraid I’ve found a tubor . . .	1.2449	0.05991	98	82	8	8
1619	It might be a good idea to track your starch intake	1.2449	0.05242	98	78	16	4
1620	I have the results of your prostate exam here and...if I may ask a few questions...	1.2449	0.05439	98	79	14	5
1621	Tell me something. How did you get up on the table?	1.2449	0.05629	98	80	12	6
1622	I’m afraid it’s all gone pear shaped	1.2449	0.05813	98	81	10	7
1623	Is it Mr. Potato or Potatoe?	1.2447	0.05796	94	77	11	6
1624	Hmmm...I'm not sure a low carb diet is right for you.	1.2447	0.05596	94	76	13	5
1625	I got bad news ...you've got potatoitus!	1.2447	0.06179	94	79	7	8
1626	I’m sorry Mr. Head, you seem to be in a persistent vegetative state”	1.2447	0.05796	94	77	11	6
1627	Yes, I'm a plastic surgeon, but I can't turn you into a toy.	1.2444	0.05544	90	72	14	4
1628	I'm more of an "Operation" specialist.	1.2444	0.05314	90	71	16	3
1629	I'm sorry. It's terminal. Would you like me to adjust your eyebrows?	1.2444	0.05074	90	70	18	2
1630	From what I can tell, Sir, it appears to be all in your head.	1.2444	0.05074	90	70	18	2
1631	The bad news is, you’re going to die. The good news is, you’re going to be part of an absolutely delightful summer salad.	1.2442	0.05214	86	67	17	2
1632	I think a temperature of 375 degrees is just to high.	1.2442	0.05470	86	68	15	3
1633	The lab report says you have to cut back on starches	1.2442	0.05470	86	68	15	3
1634	I wouldn't overly worry about it — your readings are actually pretty normal for a potato.	1.2442	0.05470	86	68	15	3
1635	I see you are in for gender reassignment surgery.	1.2439	0.06150	82	67	10	5
1636	So when did you first notice the side effects of the medication?	1.2439	0.06150	82	67	10	5
1637	Yes, except for the part about your hat, that could be considered elder abuse.	1.2439	0.05900	82	66	12	4
1638	Actually, the facelift is done by my two year old.	1.2439	0.06150	82	67	10	5
1639	Your CT scan indicates you are slowly turning into plastic.	1.2437	0.04460	119	93	23	3
1640	I wouldn’t worry about the starch, but you might consider a hat with better sun protection…	1.2437	0.04460	119	93	23	3
1641	According to this, you're hyperglycemic... Oops, nope, I'm sorry. These are Mr. Sweetpotatohead's results.	1.2436	0.05824	78	62	13	3
1642	I suggest you cut back on the carbs.	1.2435	0.05031	115	93	16	6
1643	Lose the mustache.	1.2435	0.04877	115	92	18	5
1644	It says here you've already tried a shoe replacement.	1.2435	0.04718	115	91	20	4
1645	I recommend that you cut back on carbs	1.2435	0.04553	115	90	22	3
1646	I'm going to prescribe sour cream and a light dose of chive.	1.2432	0.06613	74	61	8	5
1647	Lovely family story, but I said do you have any history of, ‘tumors’	1.2432	0.06027	74	59	12	3
1648	How often do you have this feeling of emptiness and that you're falling apart?	1.2430	0.05116	107	86	16	5
1649	You have got to stop putting your hat and shoes in your butt.	1.2430	0.05285	107	87	14	6
1650	As far as diet, zero carbs is your new routine...	1.2430	0.05449	107	88	12	7
1651	The good news is your prostate isn't enlarged.	1.2430	0.05116	107	86	16	5
1652	We can julienne that little rough patch. Oh, and McDonalds is paying for it.	1.2427	0.05063	103	82	17	4
1653	You need an eye doctor.	1.2427	0.05248	103	83	15	5
1654	You're saying, you think all your family is still in Idaho.	1.2427	0.05599	103	85	11	7
1655	I’ve finally figured out the root of all of your troubles.	1.2427	0.05063	103	82	17	4
1656	Sorry, we can't do any tests when you are baked.	1.2424	0.04992	99	78	18	3
1657	Any feelings of emptiness?	1.2424	0.04782	99	77	20	2
1658	Have you been spending a lot of time on your couch recently?	1.2424	0.05390	99	80	14	5
1659	You'll get frequent fryer miles with this visit.	1.2424	0.05578	99	81	12	6
1660	Good news! The other eyes came back benign.	1.2424	0.05390	99	80	14	5
1661	You need a new arm, but it's going to take at least a year. Supply chain troubles.	1.2421	0.05122	95	75	17	3
1662	Should we pronounce it, “Potayto” or “Potahto?”	1.2421	0.05542	95	77	13	5
1663	I'll have to refer you to a plastic surgeon.	1.2421	0.05337	95	76	15	4
1664	You can no longer be gender specific	1.2421	0.05122	95	75	17	3
1665	Is my head too big or are my legs too short?	1.2421	0.05337	95	76	15	4
1666	Are you following your low-carb diet?	1.2421	0.05337	95	76	15	4
1667	The tests reflect an abnormally high level of starch in your diet.	1.2421	0.05542	95	77	13	5
1668	How do you identify yourself as; boiled, mashed or sautéed?	1.2421	0.06119	95	80	7	8
1669	So how does it feel without all your other eyes?	1.2419	0.04908	124	101	16	7
1670	I'm sorry, but we need to reduce your carbs.	1.2418	0.05918	91	75	10	6
1671	I just keep losing things...	1.2418	0.05490	91	73	14	4
1672	Your tests results have come in, and it seems it’s all in your head.	1.2418	0.05708	91	74	12	5
1673	It's all still in your head?	1.2418	0.05708	91	74	12	5
1674	Luckily your parts were made to pop right off, so I could do the surgery now.	1.2418	0.05918	91	75	10	6
1675	I realize you may have difficulty cutting down on starches.	1.2417	0.04583	120	95	21	4
1676	Your vision needs correction. We’ll just switch your eyes and mouth.	1.2417	0.04879	120	97	17	6
1677	I am afraid it’s french fries.	1.2417	0.04733	120	96	19	5
1678	Sir, we might have an issue. Which toys were you and your wife using?	1.2414	0.05656	87	70	13	4
1679	I might have to refer you to a horticulturist.	1.2414	0.05887	87	71	11	5
1680	I’m confident we can rule out “restless leg syndrome”!	1.2414	0.06325	87	73	7	7
1681	I agree with you, I think we should take a head cold very seriously.	1.2414	0.05656	87	70	13	4
1682	take off your nose and say Ahh	1.2414	0.05414	87	69	15	3
1683	The all-potato diet hasn’t worked out very well for you. Let’s switch you to a more attractive vegetable.	1.2414	0.05161	87	68	17	2
1684	The encephalitis is terrible. But the good news is you have absolutely no belly fat.	1.2411	0.05267	112	92	13	7
1685	You need more salt. Erm, uhh, medically speaking, of course.	1.2411	0.05112	112	91	15	6
1686	Your lab results look good so I've scheduled your vegetable reassignment surgery for next Tuesday.	1.2410	0.05309	83	65	16	2
1687	It seems all your parts are in place.	1.2410	0.06083	83	68	10	5
1688	Transitioning to a woman should be fairly easy for you,Mr. Potato Head.	1.2410	0.05579	83	66	14	3
1689	Sir, Are you currently under the influence of alcohol? You seem half baked?	1.2407	0.05241	108	88	14	6
1690	You need to cut back on the piercings.	1.2407	0.05073	108	87	16	5
1691	It says here you're the head of a toy company?	1.2407	0.05403	108	89	12	7
1692	I’m prescribing a change of face.	1.2407	0.04900	108	86	18	4
1693	Is this the first time that you’ve considered altering your appearance?	1.2407	0.05073	108	87	16	5
1694	I’ll pluck off this nose. Pop on your new nose. Should you ever decide to go back to the old one, what I’ll do for you is store it in your butt.	1.2407	0.05403	108	89	12	7
1695	Well at the very least I can help with your ears and nose.	1.2405	0.06033	79	64	11	4
1696	Let's take a look. Could you take off your nose, please.	1.2405	0.06033	79	64	11	4
1697	Sometimes, one simply has to accept that one is a potato.	1.2405	0.06033	79	64	11	4
1698	You ned to cut back on the carbohydrates,	1.2405	0.05758	79	63	13	3
1699	Your test results indicate you haven’t accessorized since the 1970’s.	1.2405	0.06033	79	64	11	4
1700	Well, despite unheslthy scarring from previous cosmetic surgeries, things could be worse...	1.2404	0.05202	104	84	15	5
1701	Actually, with modern technology, a nose job is very simple these days.	1.2404	0.05020	104	83	17	4
1702	Mister P, you are my masterpiece!	1.2404	0.05020	104	83	17	4
1703	Definitely a nose job.	1.2404	0.05020	104	83	17	4
1704	I'm sorry to report that Blue Cross won't cover your sprout removal--they say it's cosmetic surgery.	1.2400	0.05644	75	59	14	2
1705	I'm gonna need you to lay off the starch.	1.2400	0.04948	100	79	18	3
1706	Then roast at 400 degrees...oops, wrong page.	1.2400	0.05148	100	80	16	4
1707	Says here you had an allergic reaction and broke out in chives.	1.2400	0.06532	75	62	8	5
1708	How long have you had these headaches ?	1.2400	0.05527	100	82	12	6
1709	Probably just a mild case of blight.	1.2400	0.04740	100	78	20	2
1710	You have more between the ears than I would have predicted.	1.2400	0.04522	100	77	22	1
1711	Are you baked right now?	1.2400	0.05148	100	80	16	4
1712	Well, I think we can eliminate ED.	1.2400	0.04740	100	78	20	2
1713	In your case, plastic surgery is very straightforward and carries no risk.	1.2400	0.05148	100	80	16	4
1714	It's either Early Blight or Colorado Potato Beetle.	1.2400	0.05148	100	80	16	4
1715	We'll notify you when the stent from Hasbro arrives.	1.2397	0.04698	121	97	19	5
1716	You’re going to have to start laying off the carbs.	1.2397	0.04549	121	96	21	4
1717	You are too old to be good baked, but you will still make excellent French fries.	1.2396	0.05490	96	78	13	5
1718	And you’ve been on this diet for how long?	1.2396	0.05075	96	76	17	3
1719	So, what would you like us to do with the eye on your backside?	1.2396	0.05287	96	77	15	4
1720	Your DNA test says you're half sweet potato.	1.2396	0.04623	96	74	21	1
1721	You might want to go easy on the potatoes.	1.2396	0.04854	96	75	19	2
1722	You say potato. I'm not going to argue with you.	1.2396	0.05287	96	77	15	4
1723	My advice for you is, stay away from the fryer, boiling water and most importantly the oven.	1.2391	0.05436	92	74	14	4
1724	I don’t want to concern you, but we found a large, hollow compartment full of body parts.	1.2391	0.05212	92	73	16	3
1725	I know that you aren’t Humpty Dumpty	1.2391	0.05436	92	74	14	4
1726	None invasive vasectomy has come a long way. .Just a quick tug should do it	1.2391	0.05651	92	75	12	5
1727	Simply....it's your ego.	1.2391	0.05212	92	73	16	3
1728	I must inform you that I’ve called the police. We found extra arms and legs inside you that matched DNA from your missing wife	1.2391	0.05436	92	74	14	4
1729	"Aside for missing a heart and lungs you appear to be in excellent health."	1.2391	0.05436	92	74	14	4
1730	I'm disappointed too.	1.2391	0.06059	92	77	8	7
1731	You don't look surprised to hear you have tuberculosis.	1.2389	0.05071	113	92	15	6
1732	It says here you’ve recently had trouble with your nose falling off.	1.2389	0.05071	113	92	15	6
1733	Well, you definitely have enough starch in your diet.	1.2389	0.05071	113	92	15	6
1734	There's another eye under your hat.	1.2386	0.05110	88	69	17	2
1735	Your tests show you’re half baked!	1.2386	0.05110	88	69	17	2
1736	Ok...here are your surgery options - baked, diced & mashed. All three are risky. But delicious!	1.2386	0.05110	88	69	17	2
1737	I have to be honest, Dan. Turning yourself into a potato isn't going to convince people you know how to spell it.	1.2386	0.05110	88	69	17	2
1738	Good news... your leg X-rays came back negative.	1.2386	0.05826	88	72	11	5
1739	As I told Mr. Dumpty, be careful where you sit…	1.2386	0.05359	88	70	15	3
1740	Frankly, you’d feel much better if you pulled your smile out of your ass compartment.	1.2386	0.05826	88	72	11	5
1741	Just a few minor lifestyle changes and we'll turn that frown upside down.	1.2385	0.04859	109	87	18	4
1742	The procedure is straightforward: we replace your eyes with a pair we pull from your ass.	1.2385	0.05514	109	91	10	8
1743	Well, here's the problem. Your temperature is only 98.6 degrees. We're going to have to get you up to 400.	1.2385	0.05197	109	89	14	6
1744	And is Mrs. Potato Head your only sexual partner?	1.2385	0.04859	109	87	18	4
1745	So, how long have the other potatoes been calling you "Groucho?"	1.2381	0.04567	126	101	20	5
1746	Your replacement is delayed due to the supply chain problem.	1.2381	0.05519	84	67	14	3
1747	Regretfully, Mr. Head, the tuber is malignant.	1.2381	0.05332	105	86	13	6
1748	Carbohydrates are not your friend, I'm afraid.	1.2381	0.06017	84	69	10	5
1749	Of course we can do it surgically. But it’s cheaper If you just pull out your mustache, and switch out the hat insert with a sexy blonde wig insert yourself.	1.2381	0.05519	84	67	14	3
1750	It says here that you're worried about your life choices. I'd start with that hat.	1.2381	0.05773	84	68	12	4
1751	You really need to get off the couch more often.	1.2376	0.05293	101	82	14	5
1752	Yes Mr. Potato Head, your arms could use a little work out occasionally.	1.2376	0.05103	101	81	16	4
1753	It hurts since the German car on my toe fell.	1.2376	0.04905	101	80	18	3
1754	I'd probably avoid vacationing in France, if I were you.	1.2376	0.04905	101	80	18	3
1755	The bad news is we have to remove your skin. The good news is we can save your eyes.	1.2375	0.05108	80	62	17	1
1756	I recommend that you and your wife, Julienne, not travel to France.	1.2375	0.05965	80	65	11	4
1757	Your cholesterol levels are a little high, I'd like you to cut back on the butter and sour cream	1.2373	0.04451	118	93	22	3
1758	You’re going to need pre-approval for the second bake.	1.2371	0.05633	97	80	11	6
1759	I recommend a cornea transplant. The procedure is very straightforward.	1.2371	0.05439	97	79	13	5
1760	A genetic test shows “couch potato” is an inherited trait in your family.	1.2371	0.05238	97	78	15	4
1761	Can you describe in more detail the feeling of sharp objects sticking into your brain?	1.2371	0.05820	97	81	9	7
1762	If you wanna get baked, lose the hat and moustache.	1.2371	0.05633	97	80	11	6
1763	A spud like you shouldn't match with hot potatas	1.2371	0.05633	97	80	11	6
1764	I don't really take these symptoms seriously because you are just a potato.	1.2371	0.05633	97	80	11	6
1765	I've reversed your foot, mouth and mustache disease (again)	1.2371	0.05439	97	79	13	5
1766	Well, a torn meniscus is unlikely.	1.2368	0.06453	76	63	8	5
1767	Yes,it looks like we’re dealing with a giant tumor.	1.2368	0.05884	76	61	12	3
1768	What do you prefer, bud or buddy?	1.2368	0.06453	76	63	8	5
1769	I’m strongly recommending psychotherapy for your attachment issues.	1.2366	0.05383	93	75	14	4
1770	Bad news...there's a pocket of Vichyssoise behind the right optical orbit.	1.2366	0.04930	93	73	18	2
1771	I want you to cut down on carbs.	1.2366	0.05162	93	74	16	3
1772	Listen, you really need to cut down on your starches.	1.2366	0.04930	93	73	18	2
1773	i've reviewed your tests and can tell you why you claim to be smashed and or whipped most of the time, it's because the holidays are coming.	1.2366	0.05383	93	75	14	4
1774	No worries looking purple -- worry if you look green	1.2366	0.04687	93	72	20	1
1775	So, you are constantly having a dream about being skinned alive?	1.2366	0.04930	93	73	18	2
1776	It looks like we'll need to peel you, but don't worry, it's a routine procedure.	1.2366	0.05162	93	74	16	3
1777	We were able to get you back together, but your friend humpty is still in surgery.	1.2366	0.05383	93	75	14	4
1778	You should get some exercise, not being a couch potato.	1.2364	0.04990	110	89	16	5
1779	Try cutting down on carbs.	1.2364	0.05154	110	90	14	6
1780	I really don't think calling you a "potato head" was meant as an insult.	1.2364	0.04644	110	87	20	3
1781	I’m afraid tuberculosis is rather common among your kind.	1.2361	0.06094	72	58	11	3
1782	Here’s a prescription for Crazy Glue. Call me if they KEEP falling off	1.2361	0.06407	72	59	9	4
1783	You’ll need a kidney transplant and we’re still looking for your right ear.	1.2360	0.05305	89	71	15	3
1784	You're medically cleared to become potato salad.	1.2360	0.05541	89	72	13	4
1785	Medically,no indications. I am proposing that the problem is,actually,all in your head,and I highly recommend joining a club that actually would have you for a member	1.2360	0.05767	89	73	11	5
1786	Ok, so how did you get up on the examing table?	1.2360	0.05305	89	71	15	3
1787	Mister Head, we really need to put you on a starch-free diet.	1.2360	0.05541	89	72	13	4
1788	A more youthful appearance? First, I'd lose the hat.	1.2360	0.05767	89	73	11	5
1789	The procedure entails swapping all your parts onto a sweet potato for a more appealing personality.	1.2358	0.05616	106	89	9	8
1790	I never played with the model that contained your internal organs.	1.2353	0.05198	85	67	16	2
1791	Unfortunately you have the same condition as your late wife.	1.2353	0.05246	102	83	14	5
1792	It's not looking good, you have several holes in your body and a backside that won't close.	1.2353	0.05461	85	68	14	3
1793	Are you still in a relationship with Mr. Peanut?	1.2353	0.05712	85	69	12	4
1794	I don't understand. According to all the test results, you have zero vitals. As in you should be dead and buried in a field.	1.2353	0.04862	102	81	18	3
1795	You really have to cut down on the carbs.	1.2353	0.05058	102	82	16	4
1796	I’m afraid you’re too big for you’re britches.	1.2353	0.05461	85	68	14	3
1797	So you say you’re feeling a little half baked ?	1.2353	0.04862	102	81	18	3
1798	Your hemoglobin is 0.0 but your potassium levels are wonderfully high.	1.2353	0.05712	85	69	12	4
1799	I can appreciate your philosophy, Mr. P., but please wear some clothes for our next visit.	1.2353	0.05461	85	68	14	3
1800	The good news is that it's all in your mind; the bad news is in your case that's a terminal diagnosis.	1.2353	0.05198	85	67	16	2
1801	It appears that there is no way to remove the hat!	1.2353	0.05058	102	82	16	4
1802	Who did you say did your plastic surgery?	1.2353	0.04862	102	81	18	3
1803	You can rearrange your face all you want, but you are going to have to slow down on the starch intake.	1.2347	0.04767	98	77	19	2
1804	Mr Dumpty, your BMI is concerning for someone your age.	1.2347	0.04983	98	78	17	3
1805	More exercise. You're going to have to get off the you-know-what.	1.2347	0.04541	98	76	21	1
1806	If you want to stay in one piece, stay out of the heat, and stop mixing with onions.	1.2347	0.04983	98	78	17	3
1807	Ok, let me get this straight. You're on an-all carb diet and it's working?	1.2347	0.05389	98	80	13	5
1808	I would try a generous amount of softened butter, but if that doesn't work, switch to organic sour cream and fresh chives	1.2347	0.05766	98	82	9	7
1809	Well, your Colon's shot and I think we both know why...	1.2347	0.04983	98	78	17	3
1810	The extra arm was successfully removed and placed back in your trunk.	1.2347	0.04983	98	78	17	3
1811	The results show a 99% probability that the little spud is yours.	1.2347	0.04983	98	78	17	3
1812	So, you're feeling like you've lost parts of yourself... specifically, the "fun" nose and the baseball cap you prefer. But you're okay with the mustache. Do I have that right?	1.2347	0.05389	98	80	13	5
1813	It wouldn’t hurt to peel off a few pounds.	1.2346	0.05349	81	64	15	2
1814	Good, so your signature authorizes us to access the prostate orally, and the colonoscopy will be done through your ear. All set?	1.2346	0.05898	81	66	11	4
1815	"... and above all, stay off the couch!"	1.2340	0.05113	94	75	16	3
1816	Mr. Potato Head. How do you expect me to inspect your heart?	1.2340	0.05941	94	79	8	7
1817	In your case the surgery will be a snap.	1.2340	0.05113	94	75	16	3
1818	Do you know Stephen Colbert?	1.2340	0.05113	94	75	16	3
1819	Yes, I’m telling you, it’s all in your head.	1.2340	0.05332	94	76	14	4
1820	Kind of a formality, but are you sexually active?	1.2338	0.05816	77	62	12	3
1821	So when did you last see your torso?	1.2338	0.05816	77	62	12	3
1822	I can prescribe it, but I don’t think Viagra will do much for you.	1.2338	0.05816	77	62	12	3
1823	Doc, my eyes hurt.	1.2338	0.05195	77	60	16	1
1824	It could be the extra foot in your rear.	1.2333	0.05708	90	74	11	5
1825	As your proctologist, I must say that area is not meant for storage.	1.2333	0.05009	90	71	17	2
1826	Yes, the MRI takes slices, but they're just virtual!	1.2333	0.05009	90	71	17	2
1827	We performed a full cat scan and we believe we found the problem. You've got eyes growing down there!	1.2333	0.05253	90	72	15	3
1828	If you could just take your nose and hat off, I can do a full exam.	1.2333	0.05009	90	71	17	2
1829	I’m afraid your insurance doesn’t cover conditions related to potato blight.	1.2333	0.04483	90	69	21	0
1830	You're in perfect health---no sign of life whatever!	1.2333	0.05708	90	74	11	5
1831	Well sir, it looks like your torsoectomy went well.	1.2330	0.05380	103	85	12	6
1832	You've really got to get off that couch.	1.2330	0.04820	103	82	18	3
1833	And Mrs Head? How is she feeling these days?	1.2330	0.04618	103	81	20	2
1834	Your DNA results are in, Mr. Potatohead. You are indeed 100% Idaho Russet.	1.2330	0.05014	103	83	16	4
1835	While your immune system is responding well to SpudThrax, you do seem to be experiencing some classic side effects.	1.2330	0.05380	103	85	12	6
1836	I‘m referring you to the leading expert on this matter—my three-year-old daughter.	1.2330	0.04820	103	82	18	3
1837	I’m afraid you have eyes on the back of your head.	1.2330	0.04618	103	81	20	2
1838	Normally, headaches aren't serious, but in your case...	1.2329	0.06327	73	60	9	4
1839	Should be a simple procedure - just open the flap in the back and go right in	1.2326	0.05889	86	71	10	5
1840	You’re looking good, but your nose will have to be replaced.	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
1841	Dude, you look baked.	1.2326	0.05404	86	69	14	3
1842	Mr Potato, I am happy to report good results on your hearing test now that your ears on no longer sticking out of your torso.	1.2326	0.05652	86	70	12	4
1843	On the bright side, you're not missing any body parts.	1.2326	0.05652	86	70	12	4
1844	I understand you're here for a hair plug?	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
1845	Dab these allergies! I said you have a tuber.	1.2326	0.05652	86	70	12	4
1846	I think we'll skip the reflex hammer today.	1.2326	0.05889	86	71	10	5
1847	The good news is that your ankle bone is connected to your hip bone, but your humerus is connected to your ear bone!	1.2323	0.05339	99	81	13	5
1848	The good news is that your lifetime risk for prostate cancer is virtually zero.	1.2323	0.04938	99	79	17	3
1849	Based on the news I'm about to give you, you may want to put on your sad face.	1.2323	0.04938	99	79	17	3
1850	I must advise you, Mr. Potatohead, that the process to transition to a yam requires years of counseling and gallons of spray tan.	1.2323	0.05339	99	81	13	5
1851	So when are you and the Mrs. expecting your little tater-tot?	1.2323	0.05712	99	83	9	7
1852	Is there some reason you don't like French fries?	1.2323	0.05142	99	80	15	4
1853	Trust me—all my patients get baked and doused in sour cream.	1.2323	0.04938	99	79	17	3
1854	Please remove your hat before I begin the examination.	1.2323	0.05339	99	81	13	5
1855	I can remove the five eyes from your back but I can't do anything about the missing legs unfortunately.	1.2323	0.04938	99	79	17	3
1856	The only way to make your mustache grow up like a smile, is to detach it from you and turn it upside down. You need to have the kid who is your owner, be happy and do that for you.	1.2321	0.04570	112	89	20	3
1857	Be sure to avoid fried foods and friers.	1.2321	0.04909	112	91	16	5
1858	Most others are missing at least one appendage at your age.	1.2321	0.04743	112	90	18	4
1859	You’d be healthier if you stayed away from sour cream and butter.	1.2321	0.04909	112	91	16	5
1860	...and now, Mr. Dumpty, may I get your first name?	1.2321	0.04743	112	90	18	4
1861	So let me get this right, your ear fell off and got lost somewhere in your shag carpeting?	1.2317	0.05569	82	66	13	3
1862	You have an hour to live at 450°.	1.2317	0.06086	82	68	9	5
1863	the good news is everything is attached...the bad, you have too many choices	1.2317	0.04999	82	64	17	1
1864	You're just missing some vitamin D	1.2317	0.05569	82	66	13	3
1865	You know the expression, 'Eyes in the back of your head'? Congratulations.	1.2317	0.05569	82	66	13	3
1866	Your nose has to go, but luckily it's a snap to replace.	1.2317	0.04999	82	64	17	1
1867	Unfortunately, there's nothing I can prescribe that will completely fill the void you feel inside.	1.2317	0.05833	82	67	11	4
1868	It is my expert medical opinion that,yes, you will need legs to run from the mafia.	1.2316	0.05281	95	77	14	4
1869	So I understand you're having trouble with your eyes.	1.2316	0.04838	95	75	18	2
1870	Well, what did you think was going to happen when you replaced it with a mustache?	1.2316	0.04838	95	75	18	2
1871	You actually don’t need a plastic surgeon, you can change your nose yourself	1.2316	0.05065	95	76	16	3
1872	I recommend a little less time on your couch.	1.2316	0.05489	95	78	12	5
1873	Your genes put you at a high risk of dismemberment by children, which is unfortunately as bad as it sounds.	1.2316	0.05065	95	76	16	3
1874	I went to Harvard. I don't belong in a cartoon with a potato.	1.2315	0.05361	108	90	11	7
1875	'Tell me, did the pain start before or after your election to Congress?'	1.2315	0.05361	108	90	11	7
1876	« Extreme veganism has clearly gone to your head. »	1.2308	0.05451	78	62	14	2
1877	I'd like you to give up gluten.	1.2308	0.05155	104	85	14	5
1878	Have you ever been baked, mashed, or fried?	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
1879	Stay out of the hot Arizona sun. You bake to easily.	1.2308	0.05333	104	86	12	6
1880	So you're telling me your arm literally comes out of its socket?	1.2308	0.05201	91	73	15	3
1881	Unfortunately, the part you’re missing isn’t being made any longer, and no one wants to donate theirs,	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
1882	Name?	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
1883	Best thing you ever did was stop smoking	1.2308	0.06031	78	64	10	4
1884	So, when was the last time you blinked?	1.2308	0.04961	91	72	17	2
1885	Mr. Russet, I’m prescribing Ozempic and you should be a thin fingerling in three months time. Alice Hoffman, NY, NY Aliceweisshoffman445@gmail.com	1.2308	0.06031	78	64	10	4
1886	I’m afraid we’re going to have to cut out all your carbs.	1.2308	0.05431	91	74	13	4
1887	Let’s look at a low carb recipe for you	1.2308	0.04272	117	92	23	2
1888	Well I can prescribe some ointment for that nose-falling-off problem, but that’s about it	1.2308	0.05155	104	85	14	5
1889	Well... Keto isn't for everyone.	1.2308	0.05651	91	75	11	5
1890	The AI report says that you should not sit on a wall.	1.2308	0.04579	104	82	20	2
1891	Maybe you feel that way because you're keeping all your emotions locked up inside you.	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
1892	You are afflicted with too many moving parts, so I'm referring you to a specialist.	1.2308	0.04708	91	71	19	1
1893	We were able to remove the crayon today, sir.	1.2308	0.05863	91	76	9	6
1894	You're going to need to see a specialist.	1.2308	0.05431	91	74	13	4
1895	Little too much starch in your diet I'm afraid..	1.2301	0.04356	113	89	22	2
1896	You look different... have you had a makeover since I last saw you?	1.2301	0.04534	113	90	20	3
1897	I'm sorry that I can't help you. But please tell your family to stay in a cool dry place away from children.	1.2300	0.05478	100	83	11	6
1898	I recommend dermabrasion.	1.2300	0.04894	100	80	17	3
1899	Try to cut back on putting body parts in your butt.	1.2300	0.05291	100	82	13	5
1900	It may take some time to get used to, but everything is in its right place.	1.2300	0.05096	100	81	15	4
1901	You gotta cut down on the carbs	1.2300	0.04894	100	80	17	3
1902	It's confirmed. You have tuberculosis.	1.2300	0.05096	100	81	15	4
1903	I'm sorry, I can't find a source for your knee pain.	1.2300	0.05660	100	84	9	7
1904	I don't know what you've been reading in toy catalogs, but removing a nose is actually quite the invasive procedure."	1.2299	0.05827	87	72	10	5
1905	I'm afraid it's finally time for the knee-replacement surgery." Mike O'Malley, Trumbull, Conn	1.2299	0.05593	87	71	12	4
1906	You have too much junk in your trunk sir !	1.2299	0.05348	87	70	14	3
1907	I suggest consulting with mensa. They won't be concerned about your bottom half.	1.2299	0.05593	87	71	12	4
1908	How would you like to be called Mr. Potatohead?	1.2299	0.05092	87	69	16	2
1909	Well, the good news is, it should be relatively easy to replace.	1.2299	0.05092	87	69	16	2
1910	Here are the results, Mr. ... what was your name again?	1.2297	0.05625	74	59	13	2
1911	Now bend over and let's see if we can find those glasses.	1.2297	0.06249	74	61	9	4
1912	They/them…? Absolutely!	1.2294	0.05154	109	90	13	6
1913	So, you would like to transition to a french fry.	1.2294	0.04813	109	88	17	4
1914	I'm sorry Mr. Potato Head, you have tuber-culosis.	1.2292	0.04794	96	76	18	2
1915	I buried your biopsy; congratulations, you'll soon become a father.	1.2292	0.05635	96	80	10	6
1916	You have a mild case of the hasselbacks. A pound of butter and an olive oil bath should ease your discomfort.	1.2292	0.05231	96	78	14	4
1917	You need to spend more time walking and to stay off the couch as much as possible.	1.2292	0.05231	96	78	14	4
1918	good news, you're still spuddering along just fine but don't go off half baked	1.2292	0.05231	96	78	14	4
1919	You need to cut way back on your starches."	1.2292	0.05231	96	78	14	4
1920	I am a plastic surgeon and you are made of plastic…but, I can’t make you look like Ken.	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
1921	It doesn't look good, Mr. Head. You have Blight.	1.2289	0.05235	83	66	15	2
1922	You need to get off the couch.	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
1923	I’m going to recommend a specialist. McDonald’s the best friar in town.	1.2289	0.06018	83	69	9	5
1924	You say you were born in Idaho?	1.2289	0.05769	83	68	11	4
1925	I'm referring you to a headshrinker	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
1926	I’m afraid I have some bad news. We seem to have attached your ‘angry eyes’ to your butt.	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
1927	Look, the best your insurance can cover is going to be "angry eyes".	1.2289	0.04946	83	65	17	1
1928	Well Mr. Potatohead, your problem is that you only have two eyes.	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
1929	Mr Potato Head …the test revealed some bad news In order to beat this thing you will need to be Skinned, Whipped, Scalloped, and Mashed	1.2289	0.06018	83	69	9	5
1930	*Of course, before I agree to do the procedure, I will need a signed release from little Cindy."	1.2289	0.05769	83	68	11	4
1931	Luckily it’s only a potato head-cold.	1.2289	0.06258	83	70	7	6
1932	I’m sorry, sir, but I’m afraid your wife is likely to remain in a vegetable state for the rest of her life.	1.2288	0.04725	118	96	17	5
1933	I see that you found your nose.	1.2286	0.04738	105	84	18	3
1934	I must have the wrong chart. So you're not Mr. Humpty Dumpty?	1.2286	0.04928	105	85	16	4
1935	We've got to get your carb count way down.	1.2286	0.04928	105	85	16	4
1936	The results aren't good. Your insides are completely filled with Legos.	1.2283	0.05595	92	76	11	5
1937	Couch potato!	1.2283	0.05150	92	74	15	3
1938	I'm sorry Mr. Potato Head, but Hasbro has never released the parts that would allow you and your wife to have children. If you're interested in adoption, please consider your local farmer's market.	1.2283	0.05150	92	74	15	3
1939	So, you’re telling me that all your weight-loss plans turn out half baked?	1.2278	0.05683	79	64	12	3
1940	So how long have you and Mrs. Potato Head been trying to make some little potatoes?	1.2278	0.05961	79	65	10	4
1941	It says here you’re gluten-free and vegan.	1.2278	0.05390	79	63	14	2
1942	We'll need to amputate. Again.	1.2278	0.06228	79	66	8	5
1943	The best and worst case prognosis is that you'll be left in a vegetative state.	1.2278	0.05683	79	64	12	3
1944	Trust me. Sour cream, chives and bacon make everything better.	1.2277	0.05243	101	83	13	5
1945	My diagnosis is that you've been skipping leg day at the gym."	1.2277	0.04850	101	81	17	3
1946	So, once again, please tell me why you think your wife was mashed.	1.2277	0.05243	101	83	13	5
1947	I’m afraid we also require a first name.	1.2273	0.05294	88	71	14	3
1948	You've got a case of tuber-culosis	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
1949	Mr Russett, your DNA results confirm that your father was a dic-tater.	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
1950	I think you are just over roasted.	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
1951	Fortunately, it's nothing that a little keto can't fix.	1.2273	0.05535	88	72	12	4
1952	We can’t proceed unless you provide me with a first name.	1.2273	0.06403	66	54	9	3
1953	You left it at home?	1.2273	0.05535	88	72	12	4
1954	So you are sensing that people are avoiding you?	1.2273	0.05535	88	72	12	4
1955	Dad, for the last time, in the office it's Dr. Potato Head.	1.2273	0.05988	88	74	8	6
1956	You have cooties.	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
1957	First the good news--nothing's broken.	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
1958	Let me explain why you do not have tuberculosis.	1.2273	0.05294	88	71	14	3
1959	Did you ever try Rogaine?	1.2268	0.04518	97	76	20	1
1960	So,how long have you been a vegetarian?	1.2268	0.05182	97	79	14	4
1961	We have found you not only have no legal standing here, you have no legs to stand on whatsoever.	1.2268	0.04971	97	78	16	3
1962	You seem concerned with a possible breakup!	1.2268	0.04750	97	77	18	2
1963	We just wanted to know how you get on the exam table.	1.2268	0.05182	97	79	14	4
1964	It's time for your eye exam. This could take a while.	1.2268	0.04971	97	78	16	3
1965	If you were a fingerling, I'd be more concerned about those lumps.	1.2268	0.05182	97	79	14	4
1966	I'm going to put you down as "waxy".	1.2268	0.04971	97	78	16	3
1967	And when did you first notice the rest of your body was missing?	1.2268	0.05182	97	79	14	4
1968	We were able to pop out the obstruction so you should be good as new	1.2267	0.05874	75	61	11	3
1969	Unfortunately the tumour isn't detachable.	1.2267	0.06458	75	63	7	5
1970	As long as you keep your hat on, you're protected from getting mashed.	1.2267	0.05558	75	60	13	2
1971	Sorry, Mr. Head, but you have tuberculosis	1.2267	0.05874	75	61	11	3
1972	This will be hard to hear, but the reason you can’t have little tots is …	1.2264	0.05066	106	87	14	5
1973	Physically you're fine, but you're still depressed over Don Rickles being your voice in 'Toy Story.'	1.2264	0.05066	106	87	14	5
1974	Let's try Sour Cream with Chives	1.2262	0.05449	84	68	13	3
1975	"Now, about your diet of butter and sour cream..."	1.2262	0.05706	84	69	11	4
1976	You may now reach for your sad mouth, Sir"	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
1977	How's the wife and the tots?	1.2262	0.05449	84	68	13	3
1978	Parts is parts	1.2262	0.04895	84	66	17	1
1979	We’re going to switch out the ears, eyes, nose, mouth, mustache and hat, and see if that helps.	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
1980	Yes. I'm a 'plastic' surgeon, but you don't need me just to change your nose.	1.2262	0.05952	84	70	9	5
1981	Perhaps we could talk about how you got up there?	1.2262	0.05449	84	68	13	3
1982	So, are you eating your vegetables?	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
1983	...but the good news is it'll be the easiest transplant I've ever done.	1.2262	0.05952	84	70	9	5
1984	Good news! You have no missing pieces.	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
1985	I have only a half-baked idea of what your problem is.	1.2258	0.04619	93	73	19	1
1986	'It's called "Blight", but it's not quite as serious as it sounds.'	1.2258	0.05100	93	75	15	3
1987	Let’s take a look inside your back.	1.2258	0.04866	93	74	17	2
1988	It's a good thought, but I honestly don't see the Paleo diet working for you.	1.2258	0.05100	93	75	15	3
1989	If you fall, you may lose an ear or nose, but you will not crack open.	1.2258	0.05100	93	75	15	3
1990	You need to stop getting so smashed!	1.2258	0.04866	93	74	17	2
1991	I think that your best bet is to go on the Keto Diet.	1.2255	0.05196	102	84	13	5
1992	Fortunately, transitioning in a case like yours is relatively easy.	1.2255	0.04602	102	81	19	2
1993	I see here you've listed your occupation as a YouTuber. . .	1.2254	0.06406	71	59	8	4
1994	No, nothing to worry about, two eyes is perfectly normal for someone your age.	1.2252	0.05069	111	92	13	6
1995	I’m afraid that empty void you feel inside of you is a feature.	1.2250	0.05329	80	64	14	2
1996	Other than that, you just needs some Leggos.	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
1997	And how often did you say you’re receiving facial reconstruction surgery?”	1.2250	0.05893	80	66	10	4
1998	We found eyes in the back of your head.	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
1999	You say your feeling half-baked?	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
2000	You've got to cut out the starch.	1.2250	0.05329	80	64	14	2
2001	We're going to start you on a low-carb diet.	1.2247	0.05240	89	72	14	3
2002	Feeling butter?	1.2247	0.05240	89	72	14	3
2003	I'm wondering if an adverse spud event could be the root of your problem.	1.2247	0.05707	89	74	10	5
2004	Just because you identify as a potato doesn't mean you're not a man.	1.2247	0.04990	89	71	16	2
2005	And yet the hat suggests excellent balance.	1.2245	0.05135	98	80	14	4
2006	Stay away from the sour cream and butter, and we'll see you after the holidays.	1.2245	0.05529	98	82	10	6
2007	'There's no clinical study that suggests the medication I prescribed may cause leg shortening."	1.2245	0.04707	98	78	18	2
2008	Cut down on the starches.	1.2245	0.05135	98	80	14	4
2009	If you're planning to tan this summer, you can never have too much oil.	1.2239	0.06316	67	55	9	3
2010	I'm going to need you to hop down,turn around,and pop open your spare parts hatch.	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
2011	And you need to cut back on starches. Maybe get out more and meet some fruits and vegetables.	1.2237	0.05164	76	60	15	1
2012	I see that the no carb diet isn't going well then.	1.2237	0.05803	76	62	11	3
2013	You have to face reality…… You are not a celery stick.	1.2237	0.05803	76	62	11	3
2014	Im afraid you’ll have to cut out the carbs.	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
2015	Mr. P, I'm afraid your chest pains are completely mystifying to me.	1.2237	0.05164	76	60	15	1
2016	No, the procedure is not dangerous. I will literally just turn your frown upside-down.	1.2235	0.05391	85	69	13	3
2017	I don't know how to say this gently,but I don't think you're going to live through Thanksgiving.	1.2235	0.05645	85	70	11	4
2018	Good news—tests show that you’re a benign tuber.	1.2235	0.05391	85	69	13	3
2019	You are what you eat. But your cholesterol seems way too high for a starch-only diet.	1.2235	0.05391	85	69	13	3
2020	Your insurance will cover all your plastic surgery except for the hat.	1.2235	0.05391	85	69	13	3
2021	Doc, Don't know why; but I have to use toilet as soon as I eat anything.	1.2235	0.05125	85	68	15	2
2022	Do you normally keep adult toys up there, or was it a special occasion?	1.2235	0.05125	85	68	15	2
2023	We’ve contacted your insurance provider and they suggested butter, sour cream and bacon bits	1.2235	0.04844	85	67	17	1
2024	Here's a twist....why don't you pay your past due bill and put a smile on MY face?	1.2235	0.05391	85	69	13	3
2025	You say you have a headache, but everything hurts everywhere except your arms, hands and feet?	1.2234	0.04576	94	74	19	1
2026	One option is to cut out carbs.	1.2234	0.04576	94	74	19	1
2027	How long have you had this inordinate fear of paring knives Mr.... uh.... Head.	1.2234	0.04820	94	75	17	2
2028	And don’t let Little Freddie stick your nose up there again.	1.2234	0.05052	94	76	15	3
2029	Doctor Barbie is off today.	1.2233	0.04766	103	83	17	3
2030	I can certainly reshape your nose, and the ears present no problem. However, I can't do anything about the hat.	1.2233	0.05150	103	85	13	5
2031	Your cholesterol is high. You need to cut out the butter and sour cream.	1.2233	0.04766	103	83	17	3
2032	As we feared, it's a tuber.	1.2222	0.05087	99	81	14	4
2033	Someone’s been a bad carb	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
2034	I'm afraid these test results aren't going to put a smile on your face.	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
2035	I'm looking at your insurance and with your deductible, this is going to cost you an arm and a leg	1.2222	0.05672	72	58	12	2
2036	Names can hurt.	1.2222	0.04881	99	80	16	3
2037	The tests came back, and you're full of carbs.	1.2222	0.06086	81	68	8	5
2038	Good news, the DNA results indicates that you're a potato. not a pear. Shapes can be misleading.	1.2222	0.05423	90	74	12	4
2039	Thank you for being a donor. Blood type potat-O is very rare to find.	1.2222	0.05188	90	73	14	3
2040	For better proportions, we can lengthen your legs or shorten your arms.	1.2222	0.05556	81	66	12	3
2041	I think we should consider cutting back on complex carbs	1.2222	0.04665	99	79	18	2
2042	You’re a long way from the Yukon—and I’m afraid out of network.	1.2222	0.06007	72	59	10	3
2043	It says here you’ve been losing parts…	1.2222	0.04881	99	80	16	3
2044	...and these nightmares, they are about Picasso?	1.2222	0.05556	81	66	12	3
2045	You have to stop eating spuds!	1.2222	0.05188	90	73	14	3
2046	I'll do it for free if you'll play with my kid.	1.2222	0.05188	90	73	14	3
2047	Yes I do appreciate the irony of telling you to cut down on carbs.	1.2222	0.04682	90	71	18	1
2048	Now which eye seems to be the problem?	1.2222	0.05423	90	74	12	4
2049	You say it feels like your nose is about to pop off your face?	1.2222	0.04969	81	64	16	1
2050	Did it hurt when Dan Quayle did not spell your name correctly?	1.2222	0.05188	90	73	14	3
2051	Unfortunately, the one thing we can’t change about you is the problem.	1.2222	0.04665	99	79	18	2
2052	I don't think the keto diet is working....	1.2222	0.05286	99	82	12	5
2053	Any recent changes I should know about?	1.2222	0.04804	108	88	16	4
2054	Have you tried putting sour cream on it?	1.2212	0.05284	104	87	11	6
2055	Best if you remove your ears.	1.2212	0.05105	104	86	13	5
2056	Your wellness checkup looks great. Enjoy your move to Idaho!	1.2212	0.04918	104	85	15	4
2057	I'm sorry, Mr. Head, you'll have to see a plastic surgeon for that.	1.2211	0.05223	95	78	13	4
2058	I‘m glad to hear you‘re getting in better shape, but take it slow. Remember, you‘ve pretty much been a couch potato your whole life.	1.2211	0.05223	95	78	13	4
2059	Mister Head, how long have you been missing your right ear	1.2211	0.05223	95	78	13	4
2060	I'm afraid your insurance doesn't cover transplants	1.2211	0.05004	95	77	15	3
2061	...a lot of these, "half-baked," ailments are all in your head.	1.2211	0.05223	95	78	13	4
2062	Child’s play! We can do it now if you brought the lady parts.	1.2211	0.05004	95	77	15	3
2063	You really need to stop sticking your spare parts there.	1.2209	0.05072	86	69	15	2
2064	I think you're beyond knee replacements.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
2065	It’s okay to hold some things inside but in this case, to save face, I think you should just let it all out.	1.2209	0.05072	86	69	15	2
2066	The procedure will be risky and fun.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
2067	So, a sixty year old found you in her attic?	1.2209	0.05585	86	71	11	4
2068	Look, I know “gym potato” isn’t really a thing, but you’ve got to get yourself off the couch.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
2069	So when did you first notice this overwhelming craving for gravy?	1.2209	0.05825	86	72	9	5
2070	Why are you tired of being ahead?	1.2209	0.05825	86	72	9	5
2071	Your couch-potato lifestyle needs to change.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
2072	My friends enjoy roasting me as well, but that's something you ought to discuss with your psychiatrist, Mr. Head.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
2073	I’m afraid you’ve grown a rather large tuber.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
2074	We first,you have to peel of about 20 pounds.	1.2209	0.05072	86	69	15	2
2075	Fortunately for you, gender reassignment surgery is pretty simple.	1.2209	0.05072	86	69	15	2
2076	So. You’ve had a chip on your shoulder ever since your wife ask you to remove the mustache.	1.2209	0.05825	86	72	9	5
2077	I'm a proctologist, but if you'll turn around I'm pretty sure I could help you with a nose job and a new glasses prescription.	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
2078	Type 2 diabetes.	1.2208	0.05735	77	63	11	3
2079	You say sometimes you feel like you're going to pieces?	1.2208	0.05735	77	63	11	3
2080	Take off your hat, eyebrows, eyes, ears, nose, mustache, arms, and legs and weigh yourself again.	1.2208	0.05735	77	63	11	3
2081	What do you mean you didn't put that part on	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
2082	It says here you're interested in getting plastic surgery?	1.2208	0.05104	77	61	15	1
2083	You’re a funny guy, Mr. Head, but the staff feels you could be funnier.	1.2206	0.05482	68	54	13	1
2084	It's just as we feared. Those growths you were concerned about? Eyes.	1.2206	0.06231	68	56	9	3
2085	We need to have a conversation about starch.	1.2203	0.04525	118	96	18	4
2086	Things aren't looking too good spud. You should take it easy on the starches.	1.2202	0.04195	109	86	22	1
2087	I recommend less starch.	1.2202	0.04764	109	89	16	4
2088	Well, the good news is you have an extra face inside your butt.	1.2202	0.04764	109	89	16	4
2089	We'll pull your arms and legs off and examine them in a separate room	1.2202	0.04582	109	88	18	3
2090	If you don't spend less time in the sun, you'll fry.	1.2200	0.05238	100	83	12	5
2091	You're going to have to start limiting your sodium, but feel free to continue use of the pepper.	1.2200	0.04399	100	79	20	1
2092	That's just the way you're put together.	1.2198	0.04893	91	73	16	2
2093	I'm not sure I can help you, but I can refer you to a knee and ankle specialist if you like.	1.2198	0.04893	91	73	16	2
2094	You have tuberculosis. Unfortunately your insurance doesn't cover the treatment. It's a preexisting condition.	1.2198	0.05369	91	75	12	4
2095	Yes, we'd be happy to furnish you with a prosthetic right arm ...	1.2198	0.05806	91	77	8	6
2096	You should be happy. I had a cold when I left the voice message. I said, "Large tuber" not "Large tumor."	1.2198	0.05136	91	74	14	3
2097	I recommend a colonoscopy.	1.2198	0.05591	91	76	10	5
2098	Many men would envy you, Mr. Testicle.	1.2198	0.05369	91	75	12	4
2099	I've been feeling like I could fall apart at any moment.	1.2198	0.05591	91	76	10	5
2100	You need to cut back on your carbohydrates.	1.2195	0.05494	82	67	12	3
2101	Just to clear this up sir, you feel that parts of you are missing frequently?	1.2195	0.05494	82	67	12	3
2102	Your brain is fried and your head is a bit mashed up, but you should be fine once you peel off the hat.	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
2103	When did these dreams about turning into a bowl of french fries begin?	1.2195	0.05494	82	67	12	3
2104	The numbers aren’t good. You’re going to have to cut back on carbs.	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
2105	Your body fat percentage is shockingly low.	1.2195	0.05762	82	68	10	4
2106	Any hoo, it's malignant.	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
2107	I'm afraid it's blight.	1.2192	0.05602	73	59	12	2
2108	Are you looking to just switch out an eye or an ear, or did you want the complete overhaul?	1.2192	0.05602	73	59	12	2
2109	Quite frankly, it's not the spores I'm concerned about. It's that mustache that keeps me awake at night.	1.2192	0.05932	73	60	10	3
2110	I'm sorry sir, but your insurance doesn't cover cosmetic surgery.	1.2192	0.05602	73	59	12	2
2111	What do you mean you keep all your accessories in your butt?	1.2190	0.04684	105	85	17	3
2112	We see these problems of loneliness with other You-tubers.	1.2190	0.04876	105	86	15	4
2113	At this age, you may notice some changes sprouting up.	1.2190	0.04876	105	86	15	4
2114	The urologist says you don't come with that part.	1.2190	0.04276	105	83	21	1
2115	Any food allergies?	1.2190	0.04684	105	85	17	3
2116	Knee replacement, hip replacement, no problem. I've written you a prescription. You can have it filled at any toy store.	1.2188	0.05581	96	81	9	6
2117	Unfortunately the bill might make your eyes pop out.	1.2188	0.04957	96	78	15	3
2118	Tell me more about this hollow feeling you have recently experienced.	1.2188	0.04730	96	77	17	2
2119	If you want to live longer. I recommend that you avoid butter and sour cream.	1.2188	0.04957	96	78	15	3
2120	It says here that you are Irish and missing your right ear?	1.2188	0.05381	96	80	11	5
2121	You've got to cut out the carbs	1.2188	0.04957	96	78	15	3
2122	Yes, you are definitle a candidate for Ozempic.	1.2185	0.04944	119	100	12	7
2123	I’ve never seen a patient so calm when faced with major surgery.	1.2184	0.04746	87	69	17	1
2124	Turns out your'e some stud,Spud.	1.2184	0.05526	87	72	11	4
2125	Cut down on the carbs.	1.2184	0.05279	87	71	13	3
2126	I'll stop calling you spud when you stop calling me bud.	1.2184	0.05279	87	71	13	3
2127	Looks like all the transplants were a success.	1.2179	0.05046	78	62	15	1
2128	I’m not sure you’d be happy with the results of a facial peel.	1.2179	0.05366	78	63	13	2
2129	When did you stop smoking a pipe.	1.2179	0.05954	78	65	9	4
2130	We can go ahead and swap your eyes with Mrs. Potato Head's, but Billy left her ears at Megan's house so that'll mean a twelve thousand dollar co-pay	1.2178	0.05378	101	85	10	6
2131	How long would you say you haven't had any feeling in your legs?	1.2174	0.05086	92	75	14	3
2132	I’m afraid, sir, that you need a coach, not a couch.	1.2174	0.04845	92	74	16	2
2133	Can you show me where do you feel the most pain in the neck?	1.2174	0.05086	92	75	14	3
2134	The plastic surgery was a success.	1.2174	0.05086	92	75	14	3
2135	In my opinion, you should lose some weight and the hat.	1.2174	0.05086	92	75	14	3
2136	I can cure your baldness by replacing the hat with the moustache.	1.2174	0.04845	92	74	16	2
2137	So glad to see you’re still not smoking.	1.2170	0.04645	106	86	17	3
2138	Your rhinoplasty will only take a minute, Mr. Potato Head.	1.2170	0.04645	106	86	17	3
2139	To be honest, you stopped looking like Angelina Jolie six plastic surgeries ago.	1.2169	0.05950	83	70	8	5
2140	No, I don’t recommend removing your eyes.	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
2141	You're back I see. Glad you have your ears in this time.	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
2142	Risk factor assessment; do your friends frequently get smashed?	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
2143	The eye exam will cost extra.	1.2169	0.05156	83	67	14	2
2144	Contrary to what most Americans think, a potato is not a vegetable. And in your case, that's a good thing.	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
2145	It's time for your plastic implants to be replaced.	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
2146	Nobody wears hats anymore.	1.2169	0.05698	83	69	10	4
2147	So, I would advice against the chemical peel.	1.2165	0.05124	97	80	13	4
2148	Regrettably Mr. Spud, if you continue with your party-game lifestyle, your declining years will be spent in a casserole.	1.2165	0.05124	97	80	13	4
2149	Chives are OK, but you should cut back on the sour cream.	1.2165	0.04203	97	76	21	0
2150	I’m afraid you’ve got a bone spud.	1.2165	0.04910	97	79	15	3
2151	I’m concerned that you seem to have only two eyes.	1.2165	0.05124	97	80	13	4
2152	So, you say it been how long since you've seen your knees?	1.2165	0.05124	97	80	13	4
2153	It appears to be a simple sprout, but just to be on the safe side, let's microwave it.	1.2162	0.05188	74	59	14	1
2154	I’ve never had that request before, but I don’t see why not.	1.2162	0.05533	74	60	12	2
2155	Don't worry, we're going to turn that frown upside down	1.2162	0.05533	74	60	12	2
2156	First, we need to do something about that hat.	1.2162	0.05858	74	61	10	3
2157	I feel fried.	1.2162	0.05533	74	60	12	2
2158	I'm going to pieces!	1.2159	0.05225	88	72	13	3
2159	So, how exactly did Timmy's parents play with you?	1.2159	0.05225	88	72	13	3
2160	We were able to put your ear and nose back where they belong. But unfortunatley you still dont have pants on.	1.2159	0.05225	88	72	13	3
2161	Your waistline could use some work	1.2159	0.04968	88	71	15	2
2162	If you feel this mashed now, just wait until November 23rd and you see your next visit deductible cost.	1.2159	0.05469	88	73	11	4
2163	Turn yourself and cough.	1.2159	0.04411	88	69	19	0
2164	Have you sent a form to the manufacturer for replacement parts?	1.2159	0.05469	88	73	11	4
2165	Good morning Mr. Head. Are you the one they call Spud?	1.2159	0.05469	88	73	11	4
2166	May I ask you to remove your hat, ears, eyes, nose, mustache…”	1.2159	0.05703	88	74	9	5
2167	There is a genetic marker. Are you closely related to the Dumpty family?	1.2157	0.05144	102	85	12	5
2168	It’s true, you are what you eat	1.2152	0.05603	79	65	11	3
2169	First get rid of that couch.	1.2152	0.04990	79	63	15	1
2170	I’m sorry, but we need to take both feet, an ear and your nose.	1.2152	0.05885	79	66	9	4
2171	About that rectal exam…	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
2172	Do you want your test results julienne or crinkle-cut?	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
2173	Your insurance only covers chips”	1.2152	0.05603	79	65	11	3
2174	Well Mr. Planter, I’m sorry to inform you that your genetic profile reveals you to be not nut but bean”	1.2152	0.04653	79	62	17	0
2175	You would not BELIEVE what we found shoved up your butt.	1.2151	0.05263	93	77	12	4
2176	No we can't just remove it and replace it with a bigger one.	1.2151	0.04798	93	75	16	2
2177	Unfortunately it's genetic, meaning you may pass it down to any tater tots you may have.	1.2151	0.04548	93	74	18	1
2178	We'll have to amputate your legs, arms, ears, nose, eyes, eyebrows, mustache and hat.	1.2151	0.05481	93	78	10	5
2179	If it happens again, to restore your previous appearance I'd recommend using "Krazy Glue".	1.2151	0.04548	93	74	18	1
2180	Since you have no excretion mechanisms, everything you eat accumulates.	1.2150	0.04974	107	89	13	5
2181	I’m afraid it’s all going to have to come off	1.2150	0.04605	107	87	17	3
2182	Your starch levels are incredibly high.	1.2143	0.05375	84	69	12	3
2183	So how long have you felt this top heavy?	1.2143	0.05077	98	81	13	4
2184	Finally, the nuances of being an egghead!	1.2143	0.05375	84	69	12	3
2185	We all change as we get older	1.2143	0.04644	98	79	17	2
2186	I don't normally recommend hash.	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
2187	Unfortunately, my diagnosis is couch potato.	1.2143	0.06068	70	58	9	3
2188	We can tell by your skinny arms that you are a tech worker	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
2189	You're a potato.	1.2143	0.05885	84	71	8	5
2190	bad news..we're going to have to put your ears where your eyes are.	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
2191	You need to lose enough weight to at least be able to see your legs.	1.2143	0.04812	84	67	16	1
2192	Okay, lose the boots...let's have a look at those tots.	1.2143	0.05636	84	70	10	4
2193	Gastric bypass might help, but getting off the couch would be a first good step.	1.2143	0.05375	84	69	12	3
2194	Yes, Mr. Potato Head. Bad eyes are a common tater trait.	1.2143	0.05636	84	70	10	4
2195	You're healthy. Just don't get loaded.	1.2143	0.05375	84	69	12	3
2196	As your doctor I recommend against getting smashed this Thanksgiving	1.2143	0.04865	98	80	15	3
2197	If you want to have kids, you are going to have to poke your eyes out.	1.2143	0.05717	70	57	11	2
2198	Given the shape you’re in, I recommend a low-carb diet.	1.2143	0.05077	98	81	13	4
2199	When I suggested cutting out carbs, I didn't mean doing away with the missus.	1.2143	0.04865	98	80	15	3
2200	Your diet chart indicates that you need to limit your carbs.	1.2137	0.04514	117	96	17	4
2201	Again, stay away from the starch!	1.2136	0.05281	103	87	10	6
2202	You're low on potassium.	1.2136	0.04503	103	83	18	2
2203	I've never seen anything like this...you're a potato.	1.2136	0.05281	103	87	10	6
2204	I can promise you, everything is where it should be.	1.2136	0.04503	103	83	18	2
2205	Why yes, I believe we have a couch in exam room A.	1.2135	0.04918	89	72	15	2
2206	So, the gown didn't fit?	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
2207	Unfortunately your insurance won’t cover medication for depression no matter how empty you feel inside.	1.2135	0.04368	89	70	19	0
2208	I'd recommend a flu shot, but, you won't be 'certified organic' any more.	1.2135	0.04651	89	71	17	1
2209	Your carbs are a little high…	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
2210	I suspect chronic anthropomorphism.	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
2211	That x ray gave us quite a scare but we’re pretty sure you’re a carb	1.2135	0.04918	89	72	15	2
2212	The good news: we found a torso donor. The bad news: it's a yam.	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
2213	You might want to reduce your carbohydrates.	1.2135	0.04918	89	72	15	2
2214	Is it pronounced Mr. Potātohead or Mr. Potátohead?	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
2215	Police said they found you in a moderate oven with the timer set for forty-five minutes. Therapy should help deal with your suicidal ideation.	1.2135	0.04918	89	72	15	2
2216	Not a concern. People live long and healthy lives without a torso.	1.2135	0.05643	89	75	9	5
2217	It’s as I thought. You have too much starch in your diet.	1.2135	0.05412	89	74	11	4
2218	So your say your symptoms are a hollow feeling and you keep falling apart?	1.2133	0.05467	75	61	12	2
2219	So let me get this straight. You say a child pulled your ear off your head and put it where your arm is supposed to be?	1.2133	0.05127	75	60	14	1
2220	I’m afraid it’s serious. You have no internal organs.	1.2133	0.05127	75	60	14	1
2221	She may say she has an intolerance, but you tell your wife you're gluten-free	1.2133	0.05787	75	62	10	3
2222	Your test results are in. I recommend you get off the couch a little more often.	1.2133	0.05787	75	62	10	3
2223	Any mobility issues?	1.2133	0.06090	75	63	8	4
2224	"When I saw 'full-body headache' on the paperwork, I thought the Neurology folks were pranking me again."	1.2133	0.05127	75	60	14	1
2225	You need to exercise more - water pressure is too high.	1.2128	0.04752	94	76	16	2
2226	Now if I told you once, I told you twice Mr. Dumpty that if sit on that wall it can lead to consequences.	1.2128	0.05427	94	79	10	5
2227	You have Air Fryer fear.	1.2128	0.04244	94	74	20	0
2228	It took two years but we got you back together.	1.2128	0.05427	94	79	10	5
2229	No, your eyes are not poisonous.	1.2128	0.05212	94	78	12	4
2230	Avoid being mashed, au gratin, french fried, or in tater salad.	1.2128	0.04987	94	77	14	3
2231	You are too much over carbohydrates Mr. Potato head.	1.2128	0.04987	94	77	14	3
2232	Well, Harry, you’re way out of shape and your starch level is off the charts.	1.2128	0.04987	94	77	14	3
2233	You’ll be good to go after I snap on a new right arm.	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
2234	Well, we did find a tuber, but that's not surprising.	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
2235	You appear to be genetically predisposed to run for office.	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
2236	It says your wife is concerned you're a malignant tuber...	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
2237	Fortunately, we found a donor.	1.2125	0.04934	80	64	15	1
2238	No, I don’t think it’s all in your head.	1.2125	0.05817	80	67	9	4
2239	Yes, fertility is a concern and no, we do not carry that part.	1.2125	0.05817	80	67	9	4
2240	Well, looks like all your parts check out.	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
2241	That second opinion? Sounds half baked!	1.2125	0.05817	80	67	9	4
2242	Overall, I'd say you are hot, sweet, baked, mashed, and couchy, as I would have expected.	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
2243	Well Spud, technically you are a vegetable.	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
2244	So you feel like a part of you is missing?	1.2125	0.04934	80	64	15	1
2245	The good news is your parts are reattachable	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
2246	Don't worry. Most guys your age are half-baked,	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
2247	Have you considered donating your body to the Children's Hospital after you pass?	1.2121	0.05231	99	83	11	5
2248	I remind you that this is your fifth and final full facial transplant.	1.2121	0.05030	99	82	13	4
2249	It's just chlorophyll causing your green bottom. It's harmless, but everyone will wonder if you're toxic.	1.2121	0.05030	99	82	13	4
2250	Are you fairly active or are you more of a couch potato?	1.2121	0.04372	99	79	19	1
2251	The good news is yes—in your case, a sex change operation is extremely possible. The bad news is I’m a dentist.	1.2121	0.06660	66	56	6	4
2252	Normally, I would recommend that you store your additional eyes, noses, ears, and lips elsewhere.	1.2121	0.06301	66	55	8	3
2253	Looks like carbs are keeping you in good shape.	1.2121	0.04821	99	81	15	3
2254	You look good. But I am again recommending you avoid contact with any frying pans.	1.2118	0.05317	85	70	12	3
2255	I'm referring you to a Botanical Neurologist.	1.2118	0.05317	85	70	12	3
2256	You have to cut out the french fries.	1.2118	0.04762	85	68	16	1
2257	It's all your mother's fault!	1.2118	0.05047	85	69	14	2
2258	I'm afraid your plan considers plastic surgery elective.	1.2118	0.04762	85	68	16	1
2259	Great costume Mr. Trump....but should they call you Dick or Mr. Tater	1.2118	0.05575	85	71	10	4
2260	I'm afraid those eyes have got to go.	1.2118	0.05820	85	72	8	5
2261	If there are symptoms of blight then they appear to be only in your head	1.2118	0.05575	85	71	10	4
2262	I'm afraid you have tatertotophobia	1.2118	0.05317	85	70	12	3
2263	Those aren't potato eyes, they’re anal warts.	1.2115	0.04864	104	86	14	4
2264	You might want to cut down on the carbs	1.2115	0.04464	104	84	18	2
2265	I’d tell you to lay off the carbs, but you are a carb.	1.2115	0.04864	104	86	14	4
2266	I do have some recommendations, Mr. Starchy McStarchface.	1.2115	0.04668	104	85	16	3
2267	Too much starch, let's find ways to work more green vegetables into your diet.	1.2115	0.04864	104	86	14	4
2268	Well, at your age it is typical to sprout new eyes but a face peel is out of the question.	1.2113	0.05275	71	57	13	1
2269	We’ve run all the tests and, once again, rest assured, everything is exactly where it should be.	1.2113	0.05275	71	57	13	1
2270	Sorry, my nurse didn't say stud. She said, "I put the spud in room four.	1.2113	0.05644	71	58	11	2
2271	Luckily the transplant will be a simple procedure	1.2113	0.05644	71	58	11	2
2272	Frankly, sir, you don’t want to see the X-Ray.	1.2111	0.04869	90	73	15	2
2273	First off let me just say, I'm a big fan of your work.	1.2111	0.05119	90	74	13	3
2274	Good news, your insurance covers all your plastic prosthetic replacements.	1.2111	0.05357	90	75	11	4
2275	Your lab tests all look fine but you may want to cut down on the starches for a while.	1.2110	0.04890	109	91	13	5
2276	You need to cut back on carbohydrates	1.2110	0.04337	109	88	19	2
2277	You say your name is Mr. Potato Head and you're seeking vegetable change surgery?	1.2110	0.04713	109	90	15	4
2278	I'm surprised by your starchy reaction to this prognosis.	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
2279	Would you introduce me to Woody and Buzz?	1.2105	0.05717	76	63	10	3
2280	The Good News is that your facelift will be an out-patient procedure..	1.2105	0.04708	76	60	16	0
2281	You must limit your carbs	1.2105	0.05161	95	79	12	4
2282	The probability you will have a fall is very high.	1.2105	0.05717	76	63	10	3
2283	So how does it make you feel to be living above ground?	1.2105	0.05717	76	63	10	3
2284	I'm very sorry Mr.Chaney, but little can be done for werepotato condition.	1.2105	0.05161	95	79	12	4
2285	I see here you a donor, organic vodka. Nice.	1.2105	0.06301	76	65	6	5
2286	Is potato	1.2105	0.06301	76	65	6	5
2287	The good news is that in your case, gender affirming care is rather rudimentary.	1.2105	0.06301	76	65	6	5
2288	Do you have a family history of scalloped, mashed or baked?	1.2105	0.04940	95	78	14	3
2289	We could make your facial features removable, but you're still going to be a potato. You're never going to be an eggplant.	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
2290	Believe it or not, new eye growth isn’t that uncommon at your age.	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
2291	I know it will be difficult. But you need to cut back on carbs.	1.2100	0.04984	100	83	13	4
2292	I'm a little worried about your hips and knees.	1.2100	0.04984	100	83	13	4
2293	I think we can get the replacement parts from Amazon.	1.2100	0.04777	100	82	15	3
2294	Relax! Idaho farmers are introducing Miss Sweet Potatoes	1.2100	0.04777	100	82	15	3
2295	We’d like to enroll you in our organ donation program.	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
2296	It sounds like glue might do the trick.	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
2297	Well, the good news is your vitamin C levels are strong. The bad news is we can't find a heartbeat.	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
2298	DR : " you have multiple punctures in your skin and say you are ' 'feeling baked ' . apply butter, sour cream and salt and pepper for some relief , mister P "	1.2099	0.05476	81	67	11	3
2299	Oh Mr. Potatohead tell me, is it true that pain is beauty.	1.2099	0.05751	81	68	9	4
2300	So,which part is hurting you today?	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
2301	You're allergic to ketchup.	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
2302	Since you've made it this far as you are,just keep doing what you're doing.	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
2303	Call me a narcissist,doc- I love carbs.	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
2304	Frankly I find it a little hard to believe that you "just fell" on it. But, yes, we can get it out of there.	1.2099	0.05751	81	68	9	4
2305	How many carbs do eat in a day?	1.2099	0.05476	81	67	11	3
2306	'Let me guess: headaches again?'	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
2307	I wish I had better news so you might want to get your frown out for this.	1.2099	0.05751	81	68	9	4
2308	So, you can't decide if you want to be fried, boiled or baked.	1.2099	0.05751	81	68	9	4
2309	We think your health will return if you resume your role as Mr. Potato Head.	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
2310	I didn't know they ever used real potatoes.	1.2095	0.05188	105	89	10	6
2311	I don't want to toy with you. If we don't get to the root of the problem, you may have to have parts transplants.	1.2095	0.04822	105	87	14	4
2312	I think you should cut down on the carbs.	1.2095	0.04426	105	85	18	2
2313	Your cholesterol is fine, but your blight seems to be acting up.	1.2093	0.05515	86	72	10	4
2314	Well, your eyes are excellent.	1.2093	0.04712	86	69	16	1
2315	Your drug test shows that you're half-baked.	1.2093	0.04994	86	70	14	2
2316	It appears you have spudliois.	1.2093	0.04994	86	70	14	2
2317	A loaded potato does not mean what you think it is.	1.2093	0.05758	86	73	8	5
2318	You're going to have to layoff carbs.	1.2093	0.05515	86	72	10	4
2319	It's not a prostate problem. You can't pee because you're a potato.	1.2093	0.05261	86	71	12	3
2320	I don't think it's leprosy.	1.2093	0.05261	86	71	12	3
2321	Now, tell me again how you got on the table?	1.2093	0.04712	86	69	16	1
2322	Nothing appears to be out of place.	1.2093	0.04994	86	70	14	2
2323	Not to worry. This scrip will turn you from a spud to a stud	1.2093	0.05515	86	72	10	4
2324	Obviously the statin isn't working as we'd hoped.	1.2093	0.05515	86	72	10	4
2325	I'm writing a new prescription: no more sitting on walls.	1.2093	0.04412	86	68	18	0
2326	All you need is some good sleep… and maybe some butter, chives, cheese, bacon bits, a dollop of sour cream… sorry did I say that last part out loud?	1.2091	0.04849	110	92	13	5
2327	Let's start with the starch.	1.2090	0.06214	67	56	8	3
2328	Do you mind removing your nose for me?	1.2090	0.06568	67	57	6	4
2329	Therapy will include one hour at 425 degrees, followed by large doses of butter and sour cream.	1.2088	0.04560	91	73	17	1
2330	Good news! Your skin is quite healthy.	1.2088	0.04821	91	74	15	2
2331	Hmm, I’m a little concerned about your BMI Mr Beautato!	1.2088	0.05303	91	76	11	4
2332	Yes, diarrhea and constipation are side-effects of Ozempic. But once again, and I can't stress this enough, you don't have an anus.	1.2088	0.05745	91	78	7	6
2333	I’m sorry, but you have a brain tuber.	1.2088	0.05068	91	75	13	3
2334	For this exam, you'll need to remove your hat, eyebrows, eyes, ears, nose, mouth, arms, feet and mustache.	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
2335	Try cutting back on starch	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
2336	You need to do more walking or you're baked.	1.2083	0.06235	72	61	7	4
2337	So I see you’re quite the spud now.	1.2083	0.05112	96	80	12	4
2338	You didn't fill out your marital status. Is there a Mrs. Potato Head?	1.2083	0.05210	72	58	13	1
2339	Oh it's you, from the hat transplant!	1.2083	0.04663	96	78	16	2
2340	Cut back on the ketchup and bacon bits and you will be fine in no time.	1.2083	0.05112	96	80	12	4
2341	We both agree it's plastic surgery, but your insurance company will not cover mustache removal.	1.2083	0.05112	96	80	12	4
2342	You’re too heavy, either lose the couch or lose the mouth.	1.2083	0.05112	96	80	12	4
2343	We removed your appendix and placed it somewhere else.	1.2083	0.05913	72	60	9	3
2344	No, dude, a headache and a stomachache are totally different things.	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
2345	Either pull yourself together or go to pieces.	1.2083	0.04893	96	79	14	3
2346	It says here, sir, that you claimed you wanted to go on a diet that would make you 'flatter than a tortilla.'	1.2083	0.04820	72	57	15	0
2347	Let me start with good news,your head size is normal.	1.2079	0.04734	101	83	15	3
2348	Soak yourself in buttermilk and see me tomorrow with a pinch of salt.	1.2079	0.05324	101	86	9	6
2349	And no carbs. I mean really, none.	1.2079	0.04939	101	84	13	4
2350	Too much starch in your diet. And avoid fried foods.	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
2351	I know this will be difficult, but it's time to cut back on the carbs.	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
2352	I suggest you cut back on carbs.	1.2078	0.05649	77	64	10	3
2353	Well I never thought I’d encounter this situation, but I’ll have to get Dr. Smith to complete your prescription - the pharmacy just won’t believe we coincidentally have the same name	1.2078	0.05649	77	64	10	3
2354	Don't think of it as a procedure, think of it as a rearrangement	1.2078	0.05649	77	64	10	3
2355	Good news. We know why you've been constipated.	1.2075	0.05143	106	90	10	6
2356	Well Mister P, other than those dark spots on your body, everything is fine.	1.2075	0.04589	106	87	16	3
2357	Your glucose is elevated.	1.2075	0.04965	106	89	12	5
2358	Maybe try switching over to the smiley mouth and thumbs up arm?	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
2359	I'm afraid your insurance doesn't cover any other mustaches.	1.2073	0.05686	82	69	9	4
2360	Changing your nose should be easy.	1.2073	0.05415	82	68	11	3
2361	Let's get that junk out of your trunk.	1.2073	0.05686	82	69	9	4
2362	It says here that you'd like to have an enema.	1.2073	0.05945	82	70	7	5
2363	The exam is usually done with MY hand.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
2364	Your problem is that you're a potato.	1.2073	0.05686	82	69	9	4
2365	You have blight.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
2366	It shows that you are one third Dumpty	1.2073	0.05945	82	70	7	5
2367	What! You didn’t wear a mask?!?	1.2073	0.04504	82	65	17	0
2368	I can give you a cream but you really shouldn’t be storing anything in there.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
2369	Do you have a family history of being cut in half and having all your insides taken out?	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
2370	You're medically cleared to travel abroad, Mr. Potato-head. Just stay away from hot tubs if you're in France.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
2371	The procedure's pretty simple. We're gonna pop out your nose and put a new one in.	1.2069	0.05206	87	72	12	3
2372	So, you planned to propose but realized you don't have knees?	1.2069	0.05456	87	73	10	4
2373	Rather than put you on a vigorous exercise program, I think I'll just change out your arms.	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
2374	Yes, we will be examining the contents of your posterior compartment today, but the procedure is painless.	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
2375	The good news is, you still have appeal.	1.2069	0.05206	87	72	12	3
2376	The problem is you have no body.	1.2069	0.05456	87	73	10	4
2377	Yes, now that Halloween is over, you’re safe transitioning to a pumpkin.	1.2069	0.05456	87	73	10	4
2378	If you don't stop walking the actor's strike picket line, you'll be baked in no time.	1.2069	0.05206	87	72	12	3
2379	So how long have you been afraid of kids?	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
2380	I want you to see an ENT doc. That ear is a bit too loose.	1.2069	0.05206	87	72	12	3
2381	Turn around for me and drop you butt hatch, and I’ll take a look at your other parts.	1.2069	0.05206	87	72	12	3
2382	Well, the thing about low-carb is...	1.2069	0.05456	87	73	10	4
2383	I’m afraid I can’t help you, I’m a urologist.	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
2384	Lay off the starches.	1.2065	0.04773	92	75	15	2
2385	Your blood sugar is low, but your carbs need some work.	1.2065	0.04516	92	74	17	1
2386	Your preference, boiled, baked, or fried.	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
2387	I'm sorry, Mr. Head, but I'm afraid you're going to need more than a tummy tuck.	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
2388	High blood sugar -sure; but the good news is that you have low cholesterol!	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
2389	So, you want me to put your spuds back on so you can make some more baby potatoes?	1.2065	0.05250	92	77	11	4
2390	Sir, even the best plastic surgeon in the world can't just take your nose off and reattach it.	1.2065	0.04773	92	75	15	2
2391	Yikes. Not good.	1.2065	0.04773	92	75	15	2
2392	And I say dia-BEE-tes. Either way, we’ll start you on insulin.	1.2065	0.04773	92	75	15	2
2393	Your knees are gone!	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
2394	Your colonoscopy shows you have a blockage. It appears to be a second outfit and a nose.	1.2062	0.05064	97	81	12	4
2395	Normally it's best you keep your organs attached to your body.	1.2059	0.05760	68	56	10	2
2396	Your head is fine, but your body is missing.	1.2059	0.05089	102	86	11	5
2397	We can switch out your eyes, ears, nose and you’ll look like a different person.	1.2059	0.05760	68	56	10	2
2398	Hat and shoes also, Dave, if we're gonna do this right.	1.2059	0.05089	102	86	11	5
2399	Sorry to hear that hilarious new part is causing such pain . Let's have it out, shall we?	1.2059	0.05760	68	56	10	2
2400	The MRI revealed a very large head mass but unfortunately it is inoperable. That'll be $7509.36 for the imaging. The radiologist charges separately. Oh, I see here you are not in our network.	1.2059	0.05760	68	56	10	2
2401	I’d recommend skipping France and returning to Idaho	1.2059	0.05760	68	56	10	2
2402	Your checkup today comes with a pat of butter and chives.	1.2059	0.04894	102	85	13	4
2403	I'm sorry Mr. Head, your stiff neck appears genetic, but the nose job and ear bob will be no problem.	1.2059	0.05760	68	56	10	2
2404	If you don't start listening to me, you are going to end up back in the ground	1.2059	0.06478	68	58	6	4
2405	Your friend notified us once you started calling him "Woody".	1.2059	0.05366	68	55	12	1
2406	Unfortunately, your insurance doesn't cover body implants.	1.2056	0.04351	107	87	18	2
2407	We need to take the nose.	1.2055	0.05839	73	61	9	3
2408	As a diabetic, you will, of course, have to cut down on carbohydrates.	1.2055	0.05503	73	60	11	2
2409	You're have to cut back on the pretend carbs.	1.2055	0.06156	73	62	7	4
2410	Bad news is you are super overweight, good news is your cholesterol is zero.	1.2055	0.05146	73	59	13	1
2411	The results came in. You're having Tots.	1.2051	0.05873	78	66	8	4
2412	Congrats. What you have is Appendage Detachment Disorder, A.D.D., which was made available when attention deficit disorder merger with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.	1.2051	0.05873	78	66	8	4
2413	Mr. Potato, the X-rays indicate it's all in your head.	1.2051	0.05583	78	65	10	3
2414	Doctor: "I'm sorry but it's terminal. They will eat you."	1.2051	0.05583	78	65	10	3
2415	And you have NO IDEA how they got up there?	1.2051	0.05873	78	66	8	4
2416	I feel disconnected.	1.2048	0.05073	83	68	13	2
2417	Why you are wearing a hat inside?	1.2048	0.05073	83	68	13	2
2418	A headache? That's serious!	1.2048	0.05073	83	68	13	2
2419	Doc, I can't get off the couch.	1.2048	0.05623	83	70	9	4
2420	Wd need to talk about carbs.	1.2048	0.05623	83	70	9	4
2421	Cutting out starch would have terrible consequences for you.	1.2048	0.05355	83	69	11	3
2422	So, your here because you wish to get your tubers tied?	1.2048	0.05355	83	69	11	3
2423	2 tablespoons of butter, a teaspoon of salt and a nice hot bath should fix you right up.	1.2048	0.05355	83	69	11	3
2424	The good news is that you have all of your parts. The bad news is that one wants to play with you anymore.	1.2045	0.05152	88	73	12	3
2425	Would you mind telling me how you got here?	1.2045	0.05152	88	73	12	3
2426	It says here you need a new pair of angry eyes since you accidentally flushed yours down the toilet.	1.2045	0.05636	88	75	8	5
2427	We'll have to run some more tests to get to the root of your problem	1.2045	0.04617	88	71	16	1
2428	You’re going to have to wear pants.	1.2045	0.05152	88	73	12	3
2429	I suggest you don't work in the oil business - you could end up as a latke...	1.2045	0.05152	88	73	12	3
2430	You're fine, but I think a snap brim fedora would take years off your look."	1.2045	0.05636	88	75	8	5
2431	Let me refer you to a head-shrinker.	1.2045	0.04891	88	72	14	2
2432	Have you considered the Atkins diet?	1.2045	0.04617	88	71	16	1
2433	If you keep up with the tanning bed, I’m afraid you’ll become delicious.	1.2043	0.05198	93	78	11	4
2434	I'm afraid we have to bill you an arm and a leg for that.	1.2043	0.05630	93	80	7	6
2435	It seems your brain has been fried.	1.2043	0.04968	93	77	13	3
2436	There appears to be an eye under your left ear.	1.2043	0.04727	93	76	15	2
2437	I feel empty inside." -Ashley Caudill, 13 years ol	1.2043	0.04968	93	77	13	3
2438	Everything looks fine, except for your eyes”	1.2043	0.04968	93	77	13	3
2439	It could be tuberculosis.	1.2043	0.04968	93	77	13	3
2440	Bad news. Your entire face is on upside down.	1.2041	0.04577	98	80	16	2
2441	So you want a touch up before Toy Story 5?	1.2041	0.05016	98	82	12	4
2442	Are you African American, Asian, Hispanic, White, or prefer not to answer?	1.2041	0.04802	98	81	14	3
2443	Well at least your vitamin levels are high.	1.2039	0.04851	103	86	13	4
2444	How did you get on top of the wall in the first place...	1.2039	0.05228	103	88	9	6
2445	The eyes will have to come out.	1.2039	0.04441	103	84	17	2
2446	It's all in your head - you need a shrink	1.2037	0.04699	108	90	14	4
2447	Now, if I could just check your reflexes...	1.2031	0.05968	64	53	9	2
2448	I'm afraid your eye exam is inconclusive.	1.2031	0.05069	64	51	13	0
2449	Now, please remove your hat, shoes, nose, ears, and eyes and roll over.	1.2029	0.05684	69	57	10	2
2450	The parts would be easy enough to swap out, but not in Idaho.”	1.2029	0.06047	69	58	8	3
2451	Those eyes have been growing, which is not unusual for a potato of your age.	1.2027	0.05766	74	62	9	3
2452	A potatoscopy will not make you feel better.	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
2453	You're right to want a physical trainer, but I would say that first of all you'll need a completely new cartoonist.	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
2454	You just need some rest and limit your starches ....	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
2455	You report that, at times, you lose your sight, or hearing, nose, eyebrows and mustache. Your wife reported the same thing, but she never wears a mustache!	1.2027	0.05083	74	60	13	1
2456	As a proctologist, it’s not often that I’m asked to look for a patient’s ‘other mustache.’ But, yes, we found it.	1.2027	0.06079	74	63	7	4
2457	Your colonoscopy revealed a second set of facial features.	1.2027	0.06079	74	63	7	4
2458	I agree: pear-shaped is neither a scientific nor inclusive body type description.	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
2459	No. You can’t be a couch potato if you don’t have a TV	1.2027	0.05766	74	62	9	3
2460	You'll be a new potato in no time.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
2461	I remember learning about your condition when playing doctor in preschool.”	1.2025	0.05804	79	67	8	4
2462	Your heart... it's mashed.	1.2025	0.05215	79	65	12	2
2463	I'm afraid if you have lost your other pieces, your only option is mild bemusement.	1.2025	0.05215	79	65	12	2
2464	You should mix more with carrots, onions, broth, garlic, squash, and greens.	1.2025	0.05804	79	67	8	4
2465	i'm a vegetarian	1.2025	0.04894	79	64	14	1
2466	I'd try to cut down on the carbs.	1.2025	0.04550	79	63	16	0
2467	Now I'll need to remove a shoe and hear you cough	1.2025	0.05804	79	67	8	4
2468	We found several items in your butt, including false teeth.	1.2025	0.04894	79	64	14	1
2469	The tests indicate you’re a nut case.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
2470	So you're saying you have a spare arm in your butt?	1.2025	0.05215	79	65	12	2
2471	I can't recommend that kind of peel.	1.2025	0.05215	79	65	12	2
2472	All the tests are normal, but I'm worried about cognitive impairment. It says here you don't know your first name.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
2473	Your DNA test shows roots back to Peru.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
2474	So. I am counting 9 Prostheses including the Hat.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
2475	Looks like you'll have to cut back on the butter and sour cream.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
2476	So how often do you feel your arms have been dislocated?	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
2477	Sir, I highly recommend we operate before they sprout.	1.2024	0.04724	84	68	15	1
2478	Having two eyes is actually well below average.	1.2024	0.04410	84	67	17	0
2479	I’ll trust your reflexes are fine.	1.2024	0.04724	84	68	15	1
2480	You're in luck. You CAN get a plug-in member!	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
2481	Any peanut allergies?	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
2482	Just maybe switch to rice?	1.2024	0.04724	84	68	15	1
2483	I'm afraid we'll have to ampotate.	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
2484	In a jiffy--I've got a box of unused Mrs. Potato Head parts in the other room.	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
2485	I need you to turn your head and cough.	1.2024	0.05813	84	72	7	5
2486	I'm sorry to tell you, but you're past expiration.	1.2024	0.05297	84	70	11	3
2487	Says here...so you don't want to end up like your great, great, great, grandson?	1.2022	0.04570	89	72	16	1
2488	."I have a strange fear of cooking oil."	1.2022	0.05099	89	74	12	3
2489	You blood test came back negative ...for blood.	1.2022	0.04570	89	72	16	1
2490	You’ll need a different type of plastic surgeon.	1.2022	0.04570	89	72	16	1
2491	Why don't your stretch your legs a little?	1.2022	0.05343	89	75	10	4
2492	We've come to understand that their location is not clinically relevant. What's key is that you should have no more than two eyes.	1.2022	0.05343	89	75	10	4
2493	Now I'm going to give you three words to remember, Mr. Dumpty. Sat. Wall. Fall."	1.2022	0.05099	89	74	12	3
2494	I'm sorry, the news couldn't be worse: it's a fungus.	1.2022	0.05099	89	74	12	3
2495	After the procedure you won't be able to have tots.	1.2022	0.05343	89	75	10	4
2496	I warned you about eating too many carbs!	1.2022	0.05099	89	74	12	3
2497	You have leprosy.	1.2022	0.05801	89	77	6	6
2498	Doc, I know I'm overweight, but my shredded friends are not any happier.	1.2022	0.04842	89	73	14	2
2499	A recent study showed that for people such as you an addition of sour cream could improve you greatly."	1.2021	0.04920	94	78	13	3
2500	Would you prefer to be mashed or fried?	1.2021	0.04920	94	78	13	3
2501	I know it’s a gross thought, Mr. Potato Head, but you are what you eat	1.2021	0.05147	94	79	11	4
2502	Let’s talk carbs	1.2021	0.04682	94	77	15	2
2503	I have the results of your tests. You've smoked so much marijuana that you're baked.	1.2021	0.04920	94	78	13	3
2504	We can remove the mustache, but not the hat.	1.2021	0.05147	94	79	11	4
2505	When did you start having this impulse to sit on walls?	1.2020	0.04969	99	83	12	4
2506	Good news is, we found your glasses, bad news is where we found them.	1.2019	0.04808	104	87	13	4
2507	Didn't we discuss cutting back on those carbs?	1.2019	0.04998	104	88	11	5
2508	For you, plastic surgery will be relatively cheap.	1.2018	0.04280	109	89	18	2
2509	I'm sorry but we still have yet to locate your missing ear from the surgery.	1.2017	0.04711	119	101	12	6
2510	Legs are on back order.	1.2000	0.04839	80	65	14	1
2511	Mr. Head, our tests confirm that you are, in fact, 96% enormous potato.	1.2000	0.05369	75	62	11	2
2512	Really nothing to worry about. We'll be searching toy chests and dog excrement for the next few days. We're very optimistic."	1.2000	0.05883	65	54	9	2
2513	Getting baked and loaded every night is no solution to being canceled.	1.2000	0.05883	65	54	9	2
2514	I don’t suppose I could get you to switch to a sweet potatohead?	1.2000	0.04389	95	77	17	1
2515	They aren't what you think. Stop trusting medical advice from YouTubers.	1.2000	0.06003	75	64	7	4
2516	I think I need to recuse myself and see a psychiatrist.	1.2000	0.05500	85	72	9	4
2517	Another nose job sure, but I’m not writing ‘Taylor Swift’ on your foot.	1.2000	0.05695	75	63	9	3
2518	I’m going to recommend you see an eye doctor.	1.2000	0.05454	80	67	10	3
2519	The most common complication is something we call a rearrangement.	1.2000	0.04839	80	65	14	1
2520	Maybe you should change your face.	1.2000	0.05500	85	72	9	4
2521	I can certainly write you a prescription for a larger hat.	1.2000	0.05022	75	61	13	1
2522	No, sir, that is sprouting, not hemorrhoids.	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
2523	I c	1.2000	0.05239	85	71	11	3
2524	So, how do you think the no-carbs diet is going ?	1.2000	0.04621	110	92	14	4
2525	You're not supposed to be able to see out of all those "eyes." You're fine.	1.2000	0.05454	80	67	10	3
2526	Bad news, your insurance doesn't cover elective surgery.	1.2000	0.05239	85	71	11	3
2527	Yes, you are organic. But that doesn’t mean you have functioning organs.	1.2000	0.05228	70	57	12	1
2528	Before I tell you these results, I have to ask: Did you bring your frowny face?	1.2000	0.05519	90	77	8	5
2529	Doc, I'm finding it hard to hold it together...	1.2000	0.04965	85	70	13	2
2530	Actually, Russ we can do all the work ; nose, ears, eyes and eyebrows, today as an outpatient.	1.2000	0.05883	65	54	9	2
2531	A tuber that identifies as a fruit? Wait 'til JK Rowling gets a load of this.	1.2000	0.04872	95	79	13	3
2532	I see. Well, do you think you could bring it to your next appointment?	1.2000	0.05737	80	68	8	4
2533	You've got WHAT in your butt?	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
2534	Im' sorry, but the tests show you are definately baked.	1.2000	0.04839	80	65	14	1
2535	So when was the last time Andy stole your nose?	1.2000	0.04364	105	86	17	2
2536	We haven’t found the loose screw, but we’ve called proctologist to get to the bottom of this.	1.2000	0.04793	90	74	14	2
2537	I’m sorry, it just wasn’t in the box.	1.2000	0.05239	85	71	11	3
2538	Could you wear a better face for me?	1.2000	0.04674	85	69	15	1
2539	Does mashed potatoes run in your family?	1.2000	0.06625	70	61	4	5
2540	Lucky for you, all your features are easily removable and replaceable.	1.2000	0.05097	95	80	11	4
2541	I'm recommending 450 degrees for 60 minutes.	1.2000	0.05500	85	72	9	4
2542	You’re gonna need to spend less time on the couch and lay off the chips.	1.2000	0.06279	65	55	7	3
2543	You’ll need to leave that eye with me for about a week.	1.2000	0.04264	100	81	18	1
2544	Well, Mr P., in my opinion it’s all in your head.	1.2000	0.05737	80	68	8	4
2545	It's more of a stabbing pain...	1.2000	0.05500	85	72	9	4
2546	Lay off the fried foods.	1.2000	0.05500	85	72	9	4
2547	I’m sorry sir but we also require a first name ?	1.2000	0.06651	65	56	5	4
2548	Good news! These are definitely your salad years.	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
2549	Th drug test results are clear. You're baked.	1.2000	0.05737	80	68	8	4
2550	Come back in a week. If the bumps turn green and leafy, we’ll have to remove them.	1.2000	0.04815	70	56	14	0
2551	I'm not sure you should be seeing a cardiologist	1.2000	0.04714	100	83	14	3
2552	I’ll call you Mr. if you insist, but I really need a first name to put down on the form.	1.2000	0.05047	90	75	12	3
2553	You have hypoactive testicles.	1.2000	0.06198	60	50	8	2
2554	Let's start out with the patellar reflex test, shall we?	1.1981	0.04724	106	89	13	4
2555	I’m recommending a second set of eyes.	1.1981	0.04530	106	88	15	3
2556	The problem is with your fallopian tuber.	1.1980	0.05269	101	87	8	6
2557	So how do you see your life in general?	1.1980	0.03985	101	81	20	0
2558	We’re going to put you on a diet of chives, sour cream and shredded Colby Jack.	1.1980	0.04226	101	82	18	1
2559	No, actually. You can't simply "take off" your cancerous growths.	1.1979	0.04593	96	79	15	2
2560	We're going have to put you on a low carb diet.	1.1979	0.04593	96	79	15	2
2561	This will be the easiest surgery yet to change the gender.	1.1979	0.05048	96	81	11	4
2562	I prescribe sour cream and chives…	1.1979	0.04826	96	80	13	3
2563	Your head is fine. It's your eyes I'm worried about.	1.1979	0.04593	96	79	15	2
2564	You need to have your appendage removed.	1.1978	0.05682	91	79	6	6
2565	No, I don't think that the hat makes you look ridiculous.	1.1978	0.05234	91	77	10	4
2566	Your test results show an excess of starch in your diet. Add more protein, vitamins and minerals.	1.1978	0.04745	91	75	14	2
2567	The good news is we got all the sprouts for now. The bad news is they'll be back.	1.1978	0.04745	91	75	14	2
2568	No walls for thirty days.	1.1978	0.04996	91	76	12	3
2569	Your carbohydrate levels are as expected.	1.1978	0.04745	91	75	14	2
2570	Your sugar level is too high. Eating a lot of carbs?	1.1978	0.04745	91	75	14	2
2571	So you’re telling me you want an arm transplant, foot transplant, ear transplant, eye transplant, nose transplant, and a mouth transplant?	1.1978	0.04996	91	76	12	3
2572	I accept that you're the focus of a game. It's the objective that I'm struggling with.	1.1978	0.04996	91	76	12	3
2573	With the recent advances in 3D printing, medication isn’t the only option you have for a more fulfilling sex life.	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2574	I'm sorry - did you say you feel detached, or detachable?	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2575	You need to be prepared.	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2576	Yes, in men your age, it can often swell, often to three times the size of a walnut. But in your case, I definitely recommend we have a few things tested.	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2577	I'm sorry sir, we can't x-ray your broken foot. The radiation will cook you.	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2578	The good news is you won’t be needing the vasectomy.	1.1977	0.05687	86	74	7	5
2579	I don’t think your all-starch diet is helping.	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2580	Mr. Potato, having no legs or neck puts you at a disadvantage crossing streets.	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2581	It's understandable that you feel congested. You're a potato head!	1.1977	0.04912	86	71	13	2
2582	Well...it seems that things have come to a head.	1.1977	0.04912	86	71	13	2
2583	If you just get off the couch I wouldn’t have to prescribe Ozempic	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2584	Your arm replacement went smoothly	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
2585	I want to remove your nose and put on a smaller one.	1.1977	0.04912	86	71	13	2
2586	Please turn your head and cough	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
2587	I need to run a few more tests, but it appears you have a potato stuck up your ass.	1.1977	0.05441	86	73	9	4
2588	You say Po-TAY-to. I say it's terminal.	1.1975	0.05937	81	70	6	5
2589	Unfortunately, we don't cover detaching body part syndrome, but we can refer you to Home Depot for some superglue	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
2590	So you decline to state your sex?	1.1975	0.05671	81	69	8	4
2591	Well Mr. Head it’s time for me to examine your storage container again…	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
2592	So just how long have you been feeling empty inside?	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
2593	You'd feel more comfortable being examined by another potato?	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
2594	Good news, you will never need a screening colonoscopy.	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
2595	It says here your biggest fears are ketchup and ranch dip.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
2596	Yeah, it might be easier if you just take it off and show me.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
2597	Please remove your eyes, ears, feet, and arms, and put on the robe open to the back.	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
2598	We can’t trace your family tree.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
2599	Your eyes are ?, you’re too big to bake , your major risk is frying	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
2600	You may suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune but you're basically healthy.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
2601	You really need to cut out the carbs	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
2602	Are you stoned? You look pretty baked.	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
2603	I'm going to recommend that you keep your eyes, ears, nose and so on in their proper slots for thirty days and then come back in for a follow-up.	1.1974	0.05626	76	64	9	3
2604	Are you happy with your plastic surgery?	1.1974	0.04596	76	61	15	0
2605	Are thoughts about blight interfering with your work or relationships?	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
2606	Well, I see all your parts are in the right place.	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
2607	Be sure to avoid direct sunlight as you are already half baked.	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
2608	Is Mrs. Potato Head aware you have other personalities that you keep inside of you?	1.1974	0.05626	76	64	9	3
2609	So how long have you not been “peeling” well?	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
2610	Don’t worry. It’s all in your head.	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
2611	You don't look like you're peeling well	1.1974	0.05929	76	65	7	4
2612	The good news is that the transplant procedure is very simple. The bad news is that the parts have been on backorder for 9 months already.	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
2613	Your x-ray reveals a small chip on your shoulder.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
2614	We need to cut down the starch in your diet.	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
2615	I’m sorry to inform you sir, but you are suffering from obsolete toy syndrome.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
2616	You have a little too much starch in your body. Nice stache though.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
2617	I’m afraid, Mr. Potato, that skin’s going to peel.	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
2618	I think your nose reduction procedure will be straightforward.	1.1972	0.04755	71	57	14	0
2619	I’m not a proctologist, but if you turn over I can retrieve your hidden body parts for you.”	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
2620	It says here that your symptoms of anxiety intensify in November.	1.1972	0.04755	71	57	14	0
2621	'Well Mr Dumpty stay out of hot water and please don't sit on any walls!"	1.1972	0.06537	71	62	4	5
2622	Lotta potatoes your age have trouble sprouting	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
2623	The Organ Donor Program doesn’t get a lot of requests for ears or mustaches.	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
2624	Says here you're only insured for ear and nose work.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
2625	Please turn your head and…oh, never mind.	1.1970	0.05385	66	54	11	1
2626	Take some sour cream, chives and bacon bits and call me in the morning.	1.1970	0.05802	66	55	9	2
2627	So, how do you let off a little steam?	1.1964	0.03979	112	91	20	1
2628	Let's get to the root of your problem	1.1961	0.05031	102	87	10	5
2629	How did you get here?	1.1961	0.04629	102	85	14	3
2630	I’m going to have to refer you to a therapist, it’s in the head.	1.1961	0.04835	102	86	12	4
2631	Your labs came back. I'm afraid your sour cream and chive levels are through the roof.	1.1959	0.04780	97	81	13	3
2632	I'm afraid it's tuber-culous	1.1959	0.04308	97	79	17	1
2633	Any family history of eye problems?	1.1959	0.04780	97	81	13	3
2634	I'm sorry, it's terminal.	1.1959	0.05000	97	82	11	4
2635	According to this you have eyes in the back of your head.	1.1959	0.04550	97	80	15	2
2636	It's just your age. From now on, I don't want you doing anything spud-taneously	1.1957	0.05407	92	79	8	5
2637	You know it's just an expression, right? We don't literally do that.	1.1957	0.04698	92	76	14	2
2638	Skin growths are a normal part of growing older.	1.1957	0.04946	92	77	12	3
2639	We’re well beyond just knee and hip replacement nowadays.	1.1957	0.05182	92	78	10	4
2640	Only two eyes cause your tunnel vision!	1.1957	0.04946	92	77	12	3
2641	Yes, it may cost you an arm and a leg, but you really need the surgery.	1.1957	0.05182	92	78	10	4
2642	Tell me about your carb intake	1.1957	0.05182	92	78	10	4
2643	You don't need glasses, you need knees	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
2644	For a 71-year-old, you're in great shape.	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
2645	Yes, Mr.Potato Head, as I've told you countless times before," you are gluten free.	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
2646	We will have to cut you open, but that’ll allow the recipe to work.	1.1954	0.04276	87	70	17	0
2647	A rhinoplasty would be quick, but I think it'd still leave you feeling hollow.	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
2648	Your inseam measurement has me concerned about your growth projections.	1.1954	0.05383	87	74	9	4
2649	Without proper diet and exercise you're likely to end up all crinkeled	1.1954	0.04578	87	71	15	1
2650	The test confirms that you have, in fact, gone pear-shaped.	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
2651	Hmmm... could be the starch	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
2652	I'm happy to hear that you're feeling butter.	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
2653	How's your balance these days?	1.1954	0.04578	87	71	15	1
2654	Mr. Potato Head, our genetic tests indicate you are actually a pear.	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
2655	Too many carbs, you see.	1.1954	0.04578	87	71	15	1
2656	You need to cut back on the carbs, Mr. Head.	1.1954	0.05383	87	74	9	4
2657	I frankly think all your professed medical issues are really just in your head.	1.1954	0.05626	87	75	7	5
2658	Well yes, I'm a urologist, but...	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
2659	I'll need to remove an ear.	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
2660	Sorry, ear-and-nose transposition surgery isn't covered by your insurance.	1.1951	0.05331	82	69	10	3
2661	It says that after a night with an Easy Bake you felt a burning sensation...	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
2662	Changing your body to one you identify with should be this simple for everyone.	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
2663	So, you want to be affirmed as Mrs. Potato head?	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
2664	The kid keeps telling me I need glasses.	1.1951	0.05331	82	69	10	3
2665	Now, how long have you been feeling these stabbing pains?	1.1951	0.04733	82	67	14	1
2666	Now, now Mr. Head, no need for you to be coming to pieces	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
2667	I'm sorry we won't be able to lengthen your legs, but we can transplant an ear to an eye socket if you like?	1.1951	0.04403	82	66	16	0
2668	There's a WHAT up your ass?	1.1951	0.05331	82	69	10	3
2669	Approximately how often are you 'baked', Mr. Spud?	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
2670	Actually the procedure will only take a few seconds.	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
2671	You have to avoid all starches, including Mrs.Potatohead.	1.1951	0.05331	82	69	10	3
2672	Preferred pronoun?	1.1951	0.05607	82	70	8	4
2673	The operation was successful, your facial features have been restored, and we used Krazy Glue to protect you from sadistic 3-year olds.	1.1948	0.05558	77	65	9	3
2674	It seems the X-rays revealed two spare mouths and an old Mardi Gras necklace.	1.1948	0.05558	77	65	9	3
2675	When did you first have the feeling that your head was WAY TOO BIG for the rest of your body?	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
2676	You need more exercise.	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
2677	Hmm...in your case it might all be brown fat	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
2678	And how long have you been a giant potato?	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
2679	Your health looks OK, but I'm afraid the knee replacement is out.	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
2680	So you're saying you haven't gained weight? It's just the shoes and the hat? And the arms and the nose and the mouth and the mustache and the ears and the eyes and the eyebrows?	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
2681	You say your wife frittered away with a fry cook?	1.1948	0.05558	77	65	9	3
2682	I'm sorry to report that your body is rejecting your new hat"	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
2683	On average, how many days a week have you been getting baked?	1.1948	0.04543	77	62	15	0
2684	I'll be honest, I'm worried about the weight Steve...you need to find your inner French fry.	1.1948	0.05558	77	65	9	3
2685	BIG BMI and Small brain !	1.1948	0.05242	77

Contest #873

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