Contest #870


Cartoon

870


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started -
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued -
Number of captions 3913
Number of responses 525967
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 It’s attached to the debt ceiling. 1.7821 0.02300 1230 563 372 295
1 It's from Fisher Price Waterhouse. 1.7312 0.02316 1198 589 342 267
2 It’s the latest thing, cribtocurrency. 1.6981 0.02302 1252 661 308 283
3 Great, now she'll just think it falls from the sky. 1.6871 0.02211 1304 683 346 275
4 Of course, we'll place it higher if it's a girl. 1.6729 0.01919 1816 1001 408 407
5 Hush money. 1.6728 0.01560 2714 1485 632 597
6 It's cribtocurrency. 1.6663 0.01894 1837 1014 422 401
7 This set is from the Trump collection. Behind bars and money just out of reach. 1.6415 0.01893 1897 1106 365 426
8 Pretty soon, it’ll be Gucci, Gucci, goo. 1.6290 0.01323 3954 2373 675 906
9 Don't worry, I adjusted it for inflation! 1.6035 0.02922 633 346 192 95
10 I figure if playing Mozart to your kid makes him an artist . . . 1.6023 0.02252 1046 568 326 152
11 I want our baby to grow up knowing wealth is just out of reach 1.6009 0.02194 1170 656 325 189
12 The height adjusts itself automatically with the inflation rate. 1.5947 0.02170 1172 657 333 182
13 It's never too soon for her to learn that wealth is always just out of reach. 1.5942 0.02270 1030 567 314 149
14 Babies need a lot of stimulus. 1.5832 0.02007 1310 732 392 186
15 It came free with a Wall Street Journal subscription. 1.5821 0.01917 1608 951 378 279
16 It's supposed to feel close but always out of reach. 1.5779 0.02115 1187 671 346 170
17 Green is gender neutral. 1.5741 0.01953 1397 796 400 201
18 It's an Upwardly Mobile mobile. 1.5734 0.01965 1383 790 393 200
19 It's called the Upwardly Mobile and it's out of reach to half of all babies born today. 1.5720 0.02263 1070 620 288 162
20 Perfect — always on the mind and just out of reach. 1.5706 0.02015 1311 751 372 188
21 This will teach him that financial security will always be just out of reach. 1.5696 0.02082 1257 729 340 188
22 It's called mobile banking... what do you think 1.5694 0.02198 1131 657 304 170
23 Operation Support Us In Our Old Age begins now. 1.5671 0.02232 1095 638 293 164
24 So that's what mobile banking looks like! 1.5478 0.02264 1015 597 280 138
25 This way, we'll all be crying about the same thing.” 1.5433 0.01422 3247 2146 438 663
26 Are you sure the sonogram showed we're having a capitalist? 1.5409 0.02274 1002 595 272 135
27 Are you sure we're having a capitalist? 1.5354 0.01948 1341 797 370 174
28 They also had one made of happiness. 1.5319 0.02152 1239 781 257 201
29 Rock-a-bye baby in the tree top: when the Dow falls the Nasdaq will pop… 1.5297 0.02007 1329 815 324 190
30 Hopefully it will stimulate growth. 1.5237 0.02657 674 397 201 76
31 It will work, I promise. Mine had planets, and I'm completely spaced out. 1.5227 0.02037 1255 769 316 170
32 You don't want us raising a caring, loving, curious, well-adjusted SOCIALIST, do you? 1.5211 0.02177 1092 669 277 146
33 That will insure that she doesn't become a theater major! 1.5168 0.02436 863 530 220 113
34 Yes it could fall and kill her, but that's capitalism in a nutshell, Diane 1.5154 0.02157 1133 706 270 157
35 I want our child to grasp the concept of a suspended debt ceiling 1.5144 0.02685 731 456 174 101
36 Buffett if it’s a girl, Warren if it’s a boy. 1.5111 0.02151 1125 702 271 152
37 He'll be primarily dealing in liquid assets for the first year, so I thought I'd start him on mobile banking. 1.5108 0.02007 1249 769 322 158
38 I look forward to bonding, especially over series EE. 1.5023 0.01806 1967 1364 218 385
39 The kid will need to know what makes the world go round. 1.4982 0.02066 1116 686 304 126
40 You told me to open a mobile account for him. 1.4968 0.02288 936 583 241 112
41 I just want to provide an early start with mobile banking. 1.4960 0.02178 1000 616 272 112
42 This is New York, Brenda. Our child needs to be ready. 1.4943 0.02486 793 496 202 95
43 And I'll read her bedtime stories about Goldy Locks and the bear market. 1.4854 0.02046 1133 710 296 127
44 Have you seen my piggy bank? 1.4827 0.02118 1415 1004 139 272
45 It's called a financial reveal. 1.4823 0.02120 1381 971 154 256
46 I’d settle for nine toes and an exceptional FICO score. 1.4789 0.02220 1161 792 182 187
47 Oh, this? It's from Uncle Scrooge. 1.4674 0.02177 952 603 253 96
48 She’ll be fine. It’s firmly attached to the glass ceiling. 1.4634 0.02159 1066 704 230 132
49 It’s safer than crypto. 1.4593 0.02216 897 571 240 86
50 Your mom handed it to me and said 'We don't need any more dreamers in this family...' 1.4578 0.02303 841 539 219 83
51 This way, she'll get used to having student loan debt hanging over her head. 1.4553 0.02352 951 650 169 132
52 I call it the upwardly mobile. 1.4527 0.02342 899 602 187 110
53 Didn’t the doctor say “fiscal stimulation”? 1.4495 0.02384 792 516 196 80
54 I want it back in my room. 1.4384 0.02604 698 471 148 79
55 It's an upwardly mobile. 1.4351 0.02519 747 507 155 85
56 It holds interest. 1.4310 0.02535 717 485 155 77
57 It’s called an upwardly mobile. 1.4304 0.02674 697 485 124 88
58 To get him used to it being just out of reach. 1.4288 0.02731 667 465 118 84
59 Think of it as her first mobile banking app. 1.4230 0.02727 643 446 122 75
60 We can raise it or lower it as the interest rate changes 1.4217 0.02827 626 442 104 80
61 I want them to learn about financial security, but see that it’s always out of reach. 1.4197 0.02647 660 455 133 72
62 I didn't even know the Wharton Business School had a gift shop. 1.4190 0.02887 611 436 94 81
63 And we can raise it and lower it depending on the market. 1.4183 0.02811 600 418 113 69
64 Too subtle? 1.4173 0.02837 532 359 124 49
65 I’m teaching object impermanence. 1.4156 0.03129 604 458 41 105
66 Absolutely not! The baby could choke on a Bitcoin. 1.4154 0.02803 544 368 126 50
67 This should keep him quiet. Just a little hush money. 1.4154 0.02832 585 408 111 66
68 I didn't know Fisher Price made metaphors. 1.4108 0.03013 594 438 68 88
69 It’s the closest thing to a money tree that I could find! 1.4086 0.02802 509 341 128 40
70 Billionaires don’t count sheep, honey. 1.4056 0.03170 461 325 85 51
71 Let's dream big, honey. One day our child could be a Supreme Court justice! 1.3992 0.02977 531 380 90 61
72 Well, if he's going to chase something, better this than unicorns. 1.3969 0.02922 456 309 113 34
73 got it from the dollar store" 1.3968 0.03052 499 357 86 56
74 Better she gets used to it being always slightly out of reach.. 1.3898 0.02950 490 345 99 46
75 It's the only toy where he won't lose interest. 1.3896 0.03124 462 331 82 49
76 I got it at a dollar store. 1.3881 0.03074 469 335 86 48
77 This will teach her that money will always be just out of reach. 1.3855 0.03146 454 327 79 48
78 For now, it's safer here, but we'll have to watch interest rates. 1.3853 0.03014 423 291 101 31
79 I think I mistyped 'Monkey Mobile' on our registry 1.3848 0.03086 447 317 88 42
80 You sold the baby!? 1.3824 0.03362 442 331 53 58
81 She really needs to understand revolving credit. 1.3821 0.03323 424 311 64 49
82 You said you wanted the nursery to have a theme so I went with "Late Stage Capitalism" 1.3820 0.03253 445 327 66 52
83 I don’t want him to grow up to be a cartoonist. 1.3774 0.03384 416 309 57 50
84 The sooner they learn to sleep with debt hanging over them the better 1.3774 0.03286 424 311 66 47
85 I’m still trying to get it to balance.” 1.3767 0.03062 430 304 90 36
86 "I got it at the Trump liquidation sale." 1.3766 0.03435 385 282 61 42
87 What did moons and stars do for me? Nothing. 1.3744 0.03122 438 316 80 42
88 I think it is much more practical than reaching for Unicorns. 1.3740 0.03169 369 256 88 25
89 We need to get her used to mobile banking. 1.3732 0.03312 410 301 65 44
90 I thought you said we should set up mobile banking before the baby arrived? 1.3714 0.03181 420 304 76 40
91 And we'll name him Rich. 1.3702 0.03222 389 278 78 33
92 It’s stimulus. 1.3690 0.03419 374 274 62 38
93 It’s an Exxon mobile. 1.3687 0.03228 377 268 79 30
94 Honey, I meant mobile banking. 1.3674 0.03412 362 263 65 34
95 This is not what I meant by 'Mobile Banking.' 1.3668 0.03167 398 285 80 33
96 But what if he wants to become a teacher? 1.3641 0.03350 390 288 62 40
97 It’s important for her to learn that financial stability is always out of reach. 1.3634 0.03288 377 273 71 33
98 The buck starts here. 1.3634 0.03291 366 263 73 30
99 My child's going to be raised with traditional American values. 1.3632 0.03323 391 288 64 39
100 Kids used to get piggy banks to learn about money. 1.3632 0.03707 380 297 28 55
101 This little piggy bank went bust! 1.3621 0.03564 417 328 27 62
102 It’s supposed to stimulate their sense of entitlement. 1.3603 0.03292 358 257 73 28
103 I knew this would happen when Musk bought Fisher-Price. 1.3577 0.03541 355 266 51 38
104 I’m hoping he becomes a Supreme Court Justice or a drug dealer. 1.3553 0.03945 318 247 29 42
105 I want to be sent to a NICE nursing home, okay? 1.3540 0.03514 322 235 60 27
106 Elon Musk had one 1.3534 0.03612 348 264 45 39
107 This way, he'll be upwardly mobile. 1.3526 0.03338 346 251 68 27
108 Wait till you see the change table. 1.3524 0.03566 332 247 53 32
109 It will help him distinguish shapes and emerging markets. 1.3523 0.03259 369 269 70 30
110 It's part of the Adam Smith Collection at Toys R Us. 1.3517 0.03579 327 243 53 31
111 I think your parents are trying to tell us something. 1.3514 0.03221 313 218 80 15
112 Let some other kid reach for the stars. 1.3505 0.03598 311 229 55 27
113 I disagree, I think Elon will love this! 1.3503 0.03585 354 270 44 40
114 I call it the upward mobile-ity 1.3493 0.03514 335 249 55 31
115 It's a gift from our financial advisor. 1.3488 0.03495 344 257 54 33
116 And the song it plays is Money by Pink Floyd. 1.3484 0.03689 310 232 48 30
117 It adjusts so it's always just out of reach. 1.3474 0.03762 308 233 43 32
118 Worked for Trump. 1.3465 0.03608 329 248 48 33
119 I just can’t let her make the same art history major mistakes that we did. 1.3454 0.03620 304 225 53 26
120 Well honey, I call it an upwardly mobile. 1.3443 0.03566 334 252 49 33
121 We'll keep it just out of reach- life's first lesson. 1.3438 0.03599 320 240 50 30
122 Yes, it's beyond the baby's reach. Kids need to learn this early. 1.3434 0.03529 332 249 52 31
123 It's never too early to learn that wealth is always just out of reach. 1.3428 0.03668 318 241 45 32
124 Counting sheep is so last fiscal year 1.3419 0.04032 234 172 44 18
125 It was cheaper than the one with Disney characters. 1.3412 0.03390 340 252 60 28
126 Better to teach them now that it'll always be just out of reach. 1.3404 0.03548 329 248 50 31
127 If my parents had done this for me, we wouldn't be having this discussion. 1.3403 0.03692 288 214 50 24
128 Our kid ain't gonna be no commie! 1.3402 0.04004 291 227 29 35
129 What a great baby shower gift from Goldman Sachs 1.3393 0.03442 336 251 56 29
130 He needs to learn the futility of something he can’t grasp. 1.3379 0.03411 293 211 65 17
131 If it's twins,we'll set up joint accounts. 1.3370 0.03437 276 197 65 14
132 Baby animal mobiles get you art majors, Sarah. This will get us a tycoon! 1.3362 0.03520 348 267 45 36
133 I want him to become our security blanket. 1.3355 0.03756 310 239 38 33
134 Too soon? 1.3348 0.04078 233 174 40 19
135 I just want it to be a Republican 1.3345 0.03886 296 230 33 33
136 I know bitcoin is all the rage but I want her grounded in the classics. 1.3344 0.03655 305 231 46 28
137 It's never to early to learn about mobile banking. 1.3344 0.03561 323 245 48 30
138 It's a little bit Calder and a little bit Zuckerberg. 1.3333 0.03864 276 210 40 26
139 Don’t worry. It never trickles down. 1.3333 0.03519 303 225 55 23
140 I call it Cribtocurrency! 1.3323 0.03723 310 239 39 32
141 Got it on sale at Trump Tower liquidation sale. 1.3322 0.03954 286 223 31 32
142 I picked it up at a Trump Tower yard sale. 1.3312 0.03850 311 245 29 37
143 This is for a boy. The girl's has 17% less money. 1.3311 0.03580 299 224 51 24
144 It's called upward mobility! 1.3288 0.03579 295 221 51 23
145 At least she'll know what makes the world go round. 1.3286 0.03714 280 211 46 23
146 Think Gucci Gucci Goo… 1.3271 0.03623 266 196 53 17
147 Trust me. All the guys on the internet say the future is in cribtocurrency. 1.3269 0.03551 309 234 49 26
148 Montessori is rebranding. 1.3260 0.03986 273 213 31 29
149 I bought it years ago at Fred Trump's yard sale. 1.3253 0.04383 249 200 17 32
150 It’s educational because it’s always just out of reach. 1.3244 0.03474 299 223 55 21
151 Goodnight greenbacks and goodnight money sacks. Goodnight millions and goodnight billions." 1.3237 0.03962 278 218 30 30
152 He'll be the first in his class to learn how to bank using a mobile device. 1.3234 0.03703 269 202 47 20
153 Hush money is big these days. 1.3231 0.03753 260 195 46 19
154 She'll need to learn that it's always just out of reach. 1.3228 0.03459 316 239 52 25
155 It’s important that he knows that he’s an American 1.3223 0.03814 242 180 46 16
156 They call it the upwardly mobile. 1.3218 0.03857 261 199 40 22
157 This is her college fund? 1.3213 0.03766 277 212 41 24
158 It was the most realistic model of the universe they had. 1.3212 0.03865 274 212 36 26
159 I thought credit cards would be too abstract 1.3208 0.03851 265 203 39 23
160 Well, all the mattresses are full. 1.3204 0.03957 284 225 27 32
161 And this will remind us why we shouldn't have another one. 1.3203 0.03759 281 216 40 25
162 And after he's mastered this, we'll put up the one with stock market symbols. 1.3197 0.03669 294 226 42 26
163 Mobile banking is the future 1.3194 0.03907 263 203 36 24
164 With inflation we probably should've used twenty dollar bills. 1.3192 0.03542 260 191 55 14
165 Think of it as an Exxon Mobile 1.3189 0.03808 254 192 43 19
166 I'm just saying, this next generation will need to start thinking about retirement a little earlier. 1.3169 0.03925 243 185 39 19
167 Designed it myself. It's "an Upwardly Mobile". 1.3169 0.04011 243 187 35 21
168 But what if she’s not Republican? 1.3156 0.04080 244 190 31 23
169 Why can't we raise him as a socialist? 1.3152 0.03936 276 218 29 29
170 Someone’s gotta pay for our nursing home! 1.3147 0.03662 251 187 49 15
171 I found it on the Harvard Business School Web site. 1.3144 0.03697 264 200 45 19
172 A gift from our financial advisor 1.3143 0.03363 280 206 60 14
173 It's never too early to get them comfortable with mobile banking. 1.3142 0.03606 261 195 50 16
174 When you spin it, it goes ka-ching. 1.3135 0.03819 252 192 41 19
175 It was a shower gift from Uncle Ebenezer. 1.3132 0.04054 265 211 25 29
176 And as it rotates, it plays "Can't Buy Me Love." 1.3125 0.03774 256 195 42 19
177 I just pray the kid doesn't inherit my insanely long left arm! 1.3120 0.04041 250 196 30 24
178 It only spins to the right. 1.3120 0.04068 234 181 33 20
179 Let's see if money changes everything, including diapers. 1.3117 0.03912 247 190 37 20
180 This upwardly mobile will teach that money is often just out of reach. 1.3112 0.04067 241 188 31 22
181 Yeah, it’s completely out of reach. That’s the whole point. 1.3112 0.03628 286 220 43 23
182 If we are not careful, they will be poets. 1.3106 0.03651 264 200 46 18
183 But it's never too early to teach about the mobile economy! 1.3106 0.03530 264 197 52 15
184 It's called the Upwardly Mobile™ 1.3105 0.04062 248 195 29 24
185 Voila! The 'upwardly mobile.' 1.3105 0.04022 248 194 31 23
186 At 6 months old, I plan on switching to stocks and mutual funds 1.3102 0.03802 245 186 42 17
187 I tried it with crypto first, but it kept crashing” 1.3101 0.03668 258 195 46 17
188 It's more of hint to the grandparents than a baby toy 1.3097 0.03725 268 206 41 21
189 From eBay — vintage from Trump's childhood home. 1.3091 0.03764 275 214 37 24
190 You can play him all the Mozart you want, this is his meal ticket. 1.3080 0.03829 250 192 39 19
191 This is cribtocurrency. 1.3077 0.03862 247 190 38 19
192 They were out of piggy banks. 1.3074 0.03713 257 196 43 18
193 No, it's just far enough away to give him hope. 1.3071 0.03794 241 183 42 16
194 It’s great for setting expectations. She’ll learn from the outset that things she wants are out of reach. 1.3071 0.03794 241 183 42 16
195 If it’s a girl, we’ll name her Penny; If it’s a boy, we’ll call him Buck. 1.3071 0.03655 241 180 48 13
196 Someday our daughter Lil Tay will grow up to be a stable and talented rap star. 1.3065 0.04289 248 202 16 30
197 We'll have to remove one of the bags if it's a girl. 1.3065 0.04014 248 195 30 23
198 It’s called “The Upwardly Mobile”. Let’s hope it works. 1.3065 0.03848 248 191 38 19
199 If we want him to be the next senator from New Jersey he’s gonna have to get comfortable with unexplainable cash in unimaginable places. 1.3056 0.04299 216 170 26 20
200 It plays a short lecture by Warren Buffett. 1.3056 0.04146 216 167 32 17
201 A kid can dream. 1.3052 0.03572 249 186 50 13
202 I think we ought to introduce materialism straight away. Why go through all the angst of platitudes. 1.3051 0.03984 236 183 34 19
203 Only $2500 at the GOP store. 1.3050 0.03808 259 201 37 21
204 His nine month's lease is just about up. 1.3045 0.04113 243 193 26 24
205 Upward mobility. 1.3043 0.03914 230 176 38 16
206 She'll learn mobile banking from day one. 1.3042 0.04022 240 188 31 21
207 It’s a literal representation of the limited ways I am capable of expressing love, which I don’t plan on ever addressing. 1.3042 0.03845 240 184 39 17
208 I want her to be able to say she grew up with money. 1.3037 0.03580 270 206 46 18
209 -And just to be clear, I stenciled 'Greed is Good' on the ceiling. 1.3036 0.04182 224 176 28 20
210 When I said we will bribe the baby to sleep, I had something different in mind 1.3031 0.03818 254 197 37 20
211 I really misunderstood the bank's mobile deposit option. 1.3004 0.03713 243 185 43 15
212 Mobile? It's an official NBA vertical jump trainer. 1.3004 0.04063 243 193 27 23
213 It's a mobile... it's a metaphor... and it's always just out of reach. 1.2992 0.03556 254 192 48 14
214 I thought you said to get something inspirational. 1.2992 0.03790 244 188 39 17
215 If you insist, but I still think Elon is a stupid name” 1.2991 0.04131 234 186 26 22
216 I got a great deal at a Trump yard sale. 1.2986 0.04359 211 168 23 20
217 This will prepare her for mobile banking. 1.2979 0.04116 235 187 26 22
218 I mean, you’re missing half your arm and a hand. I’ve got only one leg and this kooky arm. God only knows what this baby is going to look like, but at least it’ll be drawn to money. 1.2979 0.04331 235 192 16 27
219 I wanted to make a bitcoin mobile, but I needed something real to hang. 1.2978 0.03807 225 171 41 13
220 He'll learn that financial security is always out of reach 1.2976 0.03615 252 192 45 15
221 It won't come crashing down. 1.2972 0.03554 249 188 48 13
222 Just a little reminder to avoid a liberal arts degree. 1.2972 0.04129 212 165 31 16
223 I tried the crypto one, but it only goes up and down." 1.2971 0.03886 239 186 35 18
224 It's from Warren Buffett 1.2965 0.04043 226 177 31 18
225 You said you wanted green. 1.2961 0.03714 233 177 43 13
226 A new Sage of Omaha 1.2960 0.04089 250 202 22 26
227 It’s a mobile deposit. 1.2946 0.03863 224 172 38 14
228 I can’t wait until he rolls over. 1.2941 0.04002 221 172 33 16
229 This is not what I meant when I said to use the money for a new mobile. 1.2941 0.04154 221 175 27 19
230 Do you really want a family with three art history majors? 1.2941 0.04069 238 190 26 22
231 It’s a great idea, darling. I’m just worried about undercutting the tooth fairy 1.2941 0.03799 238 184 38 16
232 Our little Republican will have her very own debt ceiling. 1.2939 0.03712 228 173 43 12
233 This, my darling, will set him up for successs 1.2939 0.04107 228 181 27 20
234 I'm worried about the debt ceiling. 1.2939 0.03815 228 175 39 14
235 It’s from the dollar store! 1.2935 0.03980 201 153 37 11
236 Because it will always be out of reach. 1.2932 0.03434 266 202 50 14
237 All right, I'll allow the mobile. But we are not, I repeat not, naming him Elon! 1.2930 0.04132 215 169 29 17
238 It’s very zen for the baby to visualize money. 1.2929 0.03955 198 150 38 10
239 I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as its stock portfolio is healthy." 1.2926 0.04091 229 182 27 20
240 You can't start too early in developing values and priorities. 1.2922 0.04046 243 195 25 23
241 I thought we agreed that we'd raise our kid to be upwardly mobile. 1.2919 0.03873 209 159 39 11
242 This should help with postpartum recession. 1.2917 0.04167 216 171 27 18
243 What do you have against the upwardly mobile? 1.2915 0.04188 199 155 30 14
244 They promised 10% growth over the next six months 1.2911 0.03708 237 182 41 14
245 They’re tantalizingly out of reach, so he’s ready for the real world. 1.2911 0.04047 213 166 32 15
246 I thought green would be more gender neutral. 1.2909 0.04008 220 172 32 16
247 It's called mobile banking. 1.2902 0.03904 224 174 35 15
248 I’m not birthing a Kardashian, Steve! 1.2900 0.04151 231 186 23 22
249 Only two more days until he goes public. 1.2899 0.03742 238 184 39 15
250 But what would a crypto mobile even look like? 1.2896 0.04093 221 175 28 18
251 I want him to be upwardly mobile 1.2894 0.03822 235 183 36 16
252 You wouldn’t want her to end up with a liberal arts degree, would you? 1.2893 0.04212 197 154 29 14
253 I'm thinking about their futures. 1.2891 0.04232 211 168 25 18
254 Why does it always look to be moving away? 1.2890 0.04133 218 173 27 18
255 I know it's a little old fashioned, but I couldn't figure out how to attach Bitcoins. 1.2889 0.03889 225 175 35 15
256 You asked me to make a mobile that wasn’t pink or blue, so you got green. 1.2888 0.03855 232 181 35 16
257 For realism, I included dollar bills flying away. 1.2887 0.03681 239 184 41 14
258 Money doesn't just talk, it also sings lullabies. 1.2887 0.04129 194 150 32 12
259 The Warren Buffet teddy bear arrives tomorrow. 1.2887 0.04129 194 150 32 12
260 ... and if it's a boy, he'll be Rich. 1.2886 0.04029 201 155 34 12
261 What’s the problem? It’s visually stimulating, and it talks. 1.2882 0.03739 229 176 40 13
262 Are you thinking it will inspire our child to be successful or just prep her for student debt? 1.2877 0.04052 212 166 31 15
263 It’s our only chance at retirement. 1.2875 0.03853 240 189 33 18
264 Well, that’s the last of it. 1.2872 0.04216 188 146 30 12
265 And instead of your standard lullaby, it plays, “Money makes the world go around.” 1.2871 0.03950 202 155 36 11
266 What a great training device! We just keep raising it,so it is just out of reach. 1.2870 0.03923 230 181 32 17
267 I'm so excited for our little tax deduction! 1.2865 0.04282 192 151 27 14
268 Don't we want her to be upwardly mobile? 1.2864 0.03773 206 156 41 9
269 It's out of reach by design. 1.2864 0.03867 213 164 37 12
270 It also comes in more affordable Euros and Pesos 1.2857 0.04074 210 165 30 15
271 So we agree, if it’s a boy we name him after Warren Buffett. And if it’s a girl, then it’s Beyoncé. 1.2850 0.03964 214 167 33 14
272 Never too soon to introduce mobile banking. 1.2850 0.04019 214 168 31 15
273 I got this at the dollar store. 1.2850 0.03851 214 165 37 12
274 He’ll never underestimate compounding and growth. 1.2850 0.04227 207 165 25 17
275 It’s never too early to warn them about student debt! 1.2844 0.03689 218 166 42 10
276 If she’s going to have a mobile, it might as well be upwardly. 1.2844 0.04167 211 168 26 17
277 Having it out of reach is more realistic. 1.2838 0.03861 222 173 35 14
278 We need to teach him early that financial security will always be out of reach. 1.2837 0.04153 208 165 27 16
279 What else would you buy for twins named Bill and Penny? 1.2836 0.04016 201 156 33 12
280 Don’t worry, it’s made from organic cotton. 1.2836 0.03693 201 151 43 7
281 We were told that it’s never too early to get a revolving line of credit. 1.2831 0.03949 219 172 32 15
282 Yup. Hung just out of reach 1.2830 0.03693 212 161 42 9
283 The kid has to get used to having money just out of reach, dear. 1.2829 0.03711 205 155 42 8
284 An excellent early development stimulus that adjusts for inflation. 1.2826 0.04197 184 143 30 11
285 It got YOUR attention! 1.2824 0.03706 216 165 41 10
286 Fine. next month, little violins and Monet reproductions. 1.2824 0.03986 216 170 31 15
287 It says "Money isn't everything, but it's better than a lot of tinkly-jingly things.' 1.2824 0.03931 216 169 33 14
288 Don't worry; Forbes says instilling an obsession with financial success will more than cover the cost of therapy by the time they hit their prime wage-earning years. 1.2824 0.04298 216 176 19 21
289 Alexander Calder didn’t understand the real world! 1.2822 0.04238 202 161 25 16
290 Counting sheep is not useful in our urban setting. 1.2822 0.03873 202 155 37 10
291 We shall name him Donald, and he will be awful. 1.2821 0.04347 195 156 23 16
292 It’s a homemade dream catcher. 1.2819 0.04064 188 145 33 10
293 I know it's tacky, but my brother Elon means well. 1.2811 0.04075 217 173 27 17
294 They call it “goo-goo economics”. 1.2808 0.03981 203 158 33 12
295 I bought it at a garage sale on Fifth Avenue. 1.2807 0.03833 228 179 34 15
296 Hopefully she can catch it. 1.2804 0.03975 189 145 35 9
297 We agreed no fairy tales. That's why I hung it out of reach. 1.2802 0.04159 207 165 26 16
298 Out of reach finance 1.2802 0.04102 207 164 28 15
299 I made sure that they’re each inflatable. 1.2802 0.04044 207 163 30 14
300 My left arm is obscenely long. 1.2796 0.04155 211 169 25 17
301 This is how future politicians are raised 1.2794 0.03964 204 159 33 12
302 They say this is how Bill Gates started. 1.2788 0.03969 208 163 32 13
303 It teaches them the grab reflex. 1.2788 0.03789 208 160 38 10
304 Just reminding him in advance about how much he's going to cost. 1.2785 0.03884 219 172 33 14
305 It's been adjusted for inflation. 1.2785 0.03937 219 173 31 15
306 Surely this won't come crashing down. 1.2783 0.03858 212 165 35 12
307 Do you think these cradle bars and money bags are sending a mixed message? 1.2783 0.04083 212 169 27 16
308 We'll hang it just out of reach. 1.2783 0.03598 230 177 42 11
309 Of course it's out of reach. That's the point. 1.2780 0.04182 205 164 25 16
310 It’s not dangerous! Tell you what, if it’s a girl we’ll take down thirty percent of the money. 1.2780 0.04138 223 181 22 20
311 It rotates to the tune, “Money makes the world go round!” 1.2778 0.04042 198 155 31 12
312 Don’t worry. It’s out of reach. 1.2778 0.03847 198 152 37 9
313 A balanced portfolio like this should help her feel more secure. 1.2775 0.03952 209 164 32 13
314 It's a gift from the college investment plan broker. 1.2769 0.04082 195 153 30 12
315 The theme is upward mobility 1.2764 0.04086 199 157 29 13
316 I want him to learn that money doesn't grow on trees. 1.2764 0.04086 199 157 29 13
317 It's a student loan mobile. 1.2762 0.03877 210 164 34 12
318 I invested in crib-dough. 1.2760 0.04381 192 155 21 16
319 The Tooth Fairy is gonna have to step up her game! 1.2760 0.04057 192 150 31 11
320 It's her first lesson. She'll start off aspirational .. and then accept that it's always out of reach. 1.2760 0.03958 221 176 29 16
321 If it falls on him, he'll be rich. For a baby. 1.2757 0.04629 185 152 15 18
322 It’s a lesson on upward mobility. 1.2757 0.04231 185 146 27 12
323 When I heard the crib had a mobile payment option, I just had to get it. 1.2755 0.03999 196 153 32 11
324 If the kid gets rich, we can afford the surgery to have my left arm shortened. 1.2753 0.04419 178 142 23 13
325 He'll learn that it doesn't grow on trees 1.2750 0.04006 200 157 31 12
326 Upward mobility, baby! 1.2745 0.03826 204 158 36 10
327 For when she loses her first tooth. 1.2745 0.03950 204 160 32 12
328 I got it, I got it! Ramses III 1.2744 0.04293 215 177 17 21
329 It will be a reminder of something we once had. 1.2742 0.04347 186 149 23 14
330 She’s needs to start saving up for those Taylor Swift tickets! 1.2737 0.04214 190 151 26 13
331 In case we have a senator. 1.2736 0.03903 212 167 32 13
332 Our child should learn to live with things that are out of reach. 1.2733 0.04523 172 138 21 13
333 This is my retirement plan 1.2732 0.03888 183 140 36 7
334 Step one in my master plan to keep our child from becoming an art major. 1.2732 0.04463 183 148 20 15
335 You said green is gender neutral 1.2732 0.04020 194 152 31 11
336 Rainbows and unicorns are cute, but they won’t pay for a college education. 1.2727 0.03696 198 151 40 7
337 Then it's agreed. We will name our son, Buck." 1.2727 0.04275 198 160 22 16
338 It's called the "Upward Mobile-ity" 1.2727 0.03997 209 166 29 14
339 What makes you think we can afford a mobile? 1.2719 0.03723 217 169 37 11
340 I've read it's a great way to encourage labor. 1.2718 0.04094 206 165 26 15
341 It was Milton Friedman’s favorite! 1.2713 0.04171 188 149 27 12
342 I’d put it under the mattress, but the American Academy of Pediatrics says it might be dangerous for the baby. 1.2713 0.04499 188 154 17 17
343 This kid must never forget he is our retirement fund. 1.2710 0.03755 214 167 36 11
344 It's the top seller from the Suzy Orman Baby Collection. 1.2708 0.04175 192 153 26 13
345 This insures there’s zero chance she’ll be a liberal arts major. 1.2706 0.04317 170 134 26 10
346 Yeah, I can already tell this is not gonna be enough! 1.2704 0.03984 196 154 31 11
347 She might be able to reach that if she can pull herself up by her bootstraps. 1.2704 0.04113 196 156 27 13
348 Well then you're not going to like the Security and Exchange Blanket I bought either! 1.2703 0.04145 185 146 28 11
349 You did say you'd like our kid to become a politician. 1.2703 0.04145 185 146 28 11
350 Let's call it CRIBDOCURRENCY. 1.2700 0.04116 200 160 26 14
351 And to prepare them for real life we’ll hoist it as the baby gets older. 1.2700 0.04236 200 162 22 16
352 It’s a dribble down economy. 1.2698 0.03943 189 147 33 9
353 I don’t want him to make the same mistake as me and become a zoologist 1.2698 0.04151 189 150 27 12
354 should we name him Warren ? 1.2696 0.04057 204 163 27 14
355 I figured put it to use while we still have it. 1.2696 0.03936 204 161 31 12
356 Subliminal messages can't begin too soon. 1.2694 0.04346 193 157 20 16
357 Calder, shmalder, kid's gotta be trained in the right kind of art. 1.2694 0.04346 193 157 20 16
358 It’s sure to generate interest. 1.2690 0.04158 197 158 25 14
359 First impressions matter! 1.2689 0.03652 212 164 39 9
360 It’s the only color he’ll need. 1.2688 0.04398 186 151 20 15
361 It plays Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star and Dirty Sexy Money." 1.2677 0.04139 198 159 25 14
362 He needs to know that financial freedom is always just out of reach. 1.2675 0.03997 228 186 23 19
363 It'll teach him what a real security blanket is. 1.2674 0.04311 187 151 22 14
364 I’m just saying it might give the baby some idea of what we’re spending here. 1.2667 0.04117 195 156 26 13
365 You wanted gender neutral colors. I chose green. 1.2667 0.04286 180 144 24 12
366 The sooner he learns financial security is out of reach, the better. 1.2663 0.03931 199 157 31 11
367 You can't start too soon if you want the baby to grow up and be in congress. 1.2663 0.04220 184 147 25 12
368 It’s a life lesson, babe. He’ll reach for it but he’ll never get it. 1.2663 0.04220 184 147 25 12
369 All I'm saying is, I think stars and planets are more realistically achievable. 1.2659 0.04406 173 139 22 12
370 Shoot for the top! The Wharton School! 1.2659 0.04842 173 145 10 18
371 She’ll be upwardly mobile 1.2656 0.03958 192 151 31 10
372 He will look up and he will know: money is God 1.2655 0.04690 177 147 13 17
373 You said go find something that gives a sense of security. 1.2653 0.03902 196 154 32 10
374 It's from the Republicans. The awful one from the Democrats had children of many nations. 1.2651 0.04535 166 134 20 12
375 It's called a Musk Mobile. 1.2647 0.03983 204 163 28 13
376 It was the only gender neutral one they had. 1.2644 0.04158 208 170 21 17
377 It's called mobile banking, Janet. 1.2644 0.04045 208 168 25 15
378 And we'll whisper, "Hush hush sweetie, 33.51 trillion is just a made up number anyways" 1.2639 0.04097 216 177 21 18
379 Our kid is going to be upwardly mobile. 1.2638 0.04248 163 128 27 8
380 Maybe this will draw some interest. 1.2637 0.04022 201 161 27 13
381 Mobile banking is the way to go! 1.2637 0.03766 201 157 35 9
382 It came free with the Tiffany crib. 1.2634 0.03965 186 146 31 9
383 Cribto-currency. You’ll see! 1.2632 0.04276 171 136 25 10
384 Did you use a credit card? 1.2632 0.04314 190 155 20 15
385 You said we should decorate economically." 1.2632 0.03979 190 150 30 10
386 I figure if this doesn’t get him to stand and walk nothing will 1.2626 0.04065 179 141 29 9
387 If it worked for Donald Trump maybe it’ll work for her. 1.2624 0.04004 202 162 27 13
388 Well, it makes more sense than listening to Mozart 1.2623 0.03929 183 143 32 8
389 Easy come,easy go. 1.2620 0.04491 187 155 15 17
390 Since I have not been a success, this will help start baby's mindset from Day 1 1.2619 0.04794 168 140 12 16
391 Cribtocurrency and mobile payments are very popular with the kids nowadays. 1.2617 0.03669 214 168 36 10
392 I call it the cradle of capitalism. 1.2614 0.04186 176 140 26 10
393 It’s important we steer her away from becoming an English lit major as soon as we can. 1.2611 0.04269 180 145 23 12
394 Do you want our son to grow up to be the Monopoly Guy or not? 1.2611 0.04224 203 167 19 17
395 Honey, no one uses cash anymore, we need to replace these with credit cards. 1.2611 0.03862 203 161 31 11
396 Alice. We're going to raise a child. Not a super PAC fund raiser, a media pundit, bribed politician, or a billionaire corrupted SCOTUS. 1.2609 0.04542 184 153 14 17
397 Keeping it out of reach is an important life lesson. 1.2609 0.03985 184 145 30 9
398 I want her to experience the disappointment of unreachable goals early” 1.2606 0.03927 188 148 31 9
399 If we set the entrepreneur tone early, it may spare us college tuition. 1.2606 0.04114 165 129 29 7
400 Don't you just love the bank's gift for opening a new revolving account for our new baby? 1.2605 0.03653 215 169 36 10
401 It's from the Warren Buffett Collection 1.2601 0.04232 173 138 25 10
402 Where will your mother draw the line at dropping hints?! 1.2599 0.04463 177 145 18 14
403 It adjusts automatically to remain tantalizingly just out of reach. 1.2597 0.04026 181 143 29 9
404 I hung it just out of reach to prepare him for life 1.2597 0.04175 181 145 25 11
405 It's supposed to generate interest starting Day 1. 1.2588 0.04360 170 137 22 11
406 It is never too early to dream of financial security 1.2586 0.04131 174 138 27 9
407 Our baby will love it. It goes up and down with the stock market. 1.2584 0.04220 178 143 24 11
408 I've got the baby set up with mobile banking. 1.2584 0.04144 178 142 26 10
409 Well, I think that money is cute. 1.2581 0.04300 186 152 20 14
410 Your parents are real subtle, aren’t they? 1.2579 0.04391 159 127 23 9
411 Ok Little Elon will LOVE it! 1.2577 0.03973 194 155 28 11
412 I heard this is how Elon got his start. 1.2577 0.04106 194 157 24 13
413 I replaced Solar System with Banking System. 1.2575 0.04328 167 134 23 10
414 If it's a girl, Penny. If it's a boy, Buck. 1.2573 0.04493 171 140 18 13
415 This way our son will immediately understand what is out of reach. 1.2571 0.04110 175 139 27 9
416 ‘It’s a gift from Senator Menendez’ 1.2566 0.04805 152 125 15 12
417 When he's a little older, we will switch to crypto. 1.2564 0.04087 195 158 24 13
418 I want our child to strive to be “upwardly mobile” 1.2560 0.03857 207 166 29 12
419 The other choices were unicorns and flying elephants, but this one encourages more imagination. 1.2560 0.04387 168 136 21 11
420 I hinted to your dad that we could use some money, so this is what he sent. 1.2557 0.04611 176 147 13 16
421 Hey, this is no more ridiculous than pink turtles or blue unicorns. 1.2556 0.04103 180 144 26 10
422 We should name the baby X. 1.2556 0.04103 180 144 26 10
423 So I heard about this “Million Dollar Baby” movie… 1.2553 0.04258 188 154 20 14
424 O.K., so it's agreed. You *& I will spend like drunken sailors. We'll raise our kid to be a money-grubbing super-capitalist, and our we'll indoctrinate him to take care of us financially in our old age. And THAT will be our retirement plan! 1.2552 0.04567 192 163 9 20
425 OK, but no crypto! 1.2549 0.03892 204 164 28 12
426 No kid of mine is going to grow up in a world without lower marginal tax rates, less regulation, restrained government spending, and noninflationary monetary policy. 1.2549 0.04402 153 122 23 8
427 This should hold the baby’s interest. 1.2549 0.04498 153 123 21 9
428 The Harvard/Princeton/Yale mobile was cute, but this one gets straight to the point. 1.2545 0.04439 165 134 20 11
429 Just because he's a day late doesn't mean he needs to be a dollar short. 1.2545 0.04181 165 131 26 8
430 It's important to invest early 1.2545 0.03907 165 128 32 5
431 It'll be just out of reach. 1.2544 0.03849 169 131 33 5
432 This should be hanging above OUR bed! 1.2543 0.04050 173 137 28 8
433 How about you think of a better idea to get him to stand. 1.2543 0.04213 173 139 24 10
434 And how much did THAT cost?" 1.2540 0.03963 189 151 28 10
435 What do you have against naming the baby, ‘Penny’ or ‘Bill’? 1.2539 0.03766 193 152 33 8
436 He will either become a successful businessman or a drug lord. 1.2537 0.04115 201 165 21 15
437 It's Hamlet: Act 1, Scene 3. 1.2535 0.04159 217 182 15 20
438 You want her to grow up to be a cartoonist for the New Yorker? 1.2532 0.04393 158 127 22 9
439 Nothing makes me focus more than monetary incentives. 1.2531 0.04043 162 127 29 6
440 So this is what your big shot cousin Elon sent for the baby? 1.2531 0.04406 162 131 21 10
441 Improves spatial reasoning, hand-eye coordination and upward mobility. 1.2531 0.04318 162 130 23 9
442 It makes it go round! 1.2529 0.04575 170 141 15 14
443 He should learn early that it's always out of reach. 1.2529 0.04270 174 141 22 11
444 It will teach Junior that big money is always just out of reach. 1.2528 0.04277 178 145 21 12
445 He should know now that it will always be just out of reach. 1.2527 0.04002 186 149 27 10
446 It's non-denominational and gender-neutral. 1.2527 0.03929 186 148 29 9
447 I like Donald for a boy, thoughts Honey? 1.2526 0.04411 190 159 14 17
448 Cheaper than Business School. 1.2517 0.04329 151 120 24 7
449 Trust me, it's a good investment 1.2516 0.04086 159 125 28 6
450 Sorry I had to DIY, but it was cheaper than the ones at Pottery Barn. 1.2516 0.04719 159 132 14 13
451 I know you like the name Vanderbilt but I like Rockerfeller! 1.2515 0.04381 163 132 21 10
452 It softly plays a beginner’s lesson about the inverted yield curve. 1.2515 0.04381 163 132 21 10
453 THIS oughta induce labor. 1.2515 0.03899 171 134 31 6
454 It's never too early to learn about money. 1.2515 0.04474 171 141 17 13
455 Crybto...?? 1.2514 0.04618 175 147 12 16
456 Might as well teach him early -- it's always just out of reach. 1.2514 0.04105 179 144 25 10
457 Of course we’ll want her to follow herour dreams. 1.2513 0.04395 187 156 15 16
458 This gives new meaning to the term 'mobile banking.' 1.2513 0.04064 191 155 24 12
459 This will generate more interest than a savings bond. 1.2512 0.03894 203 164 27 12
460 Maybe we shouldn't have bought the Trump mobile. 1.2500 0.04234 180 147 21 12
461 That's the point honey, it's always just out of reach 1.2500 0.03949 184 147 28 9
462 If she wants to be part of the 1%, she has to start early! 1.2500 0.03873 184 146 30 8
463 It retracts automatically to stay just out of reach. 1.2500 0.04023 184 148 26 10
464 Go ahead and laugh. Cribto currency is going to pay for her education. 1.2500 0.04303 152 121 24 7
465 I disagree, I think Rich is a great girl's name. 1.2500 0.03597 200 157 36 7
466 Why should we be the only ones with nightmares about tuition costs? 1.2486 0.04076 185 150 24 11
467 She'll learn how to handle money. 1.2486 0.04004 185 149 26 10
468 It's never too early to learn the Rule of 72. 1.2486 0.04287 185 153 18 14
469 Sweet dreams are made of this! 1.2486 0.04064 181 146 25 10
470 It was a gift from senator Menendez 1.2486 0.04426 181 151 15 15
471 Sure he can pursue his dreams, as long as he always remembers the spectre of money always hangs over him. 1.2486 0.03910 181 144 29 8
472 I'm hoping the first words she learns are "scholarship and elope". 1.2486 0.04427 177 147 16 14
473 It’ll help him learn that it’s always just a little bit out of reach. 1.2486 0.04127 177 143 24 10
474 Now that we know it’s a girl, I’ll take 18% of it down… 1.2486 0.04427 177 147 16 14
475 If it’s a girl, we’ll put up the smaller bags of money. 1.2485 0.04262 169 137 22 10
476 The potty training set comes with classified documents too! 1.2485 0.04247 165 133 23 9
477 It's not too early to plan for him taking care of us in our retirement. 1.2484 0.04205 157 125 25 7
478 The American Dream. 1.2484 0.04377 153 123 22 8
479 He or she, needs to know early that real money, will always be out of reach. 1.2474 0.03927 190 153 27 10
480 Forget the Mozart music... this is the Warren Buffett mobile. 1.2473 0.04044 182 147 25 10
481 Our kids are going to be familiar with mobile banking from day one. 1.2472 0.04028 178 143 26 9
482 Would you prefer we hang a hammer and sickle? 1.2471 0.04478 174 145 15 14
483 It's tickle-down economics 1.2471 0.03662 174 135 35 4
484 Just in case Social Security goes down the tube. 1.2471 0.04156 170 137 24 9
485 And what do you think makes me get out of bed in the morning? 1.2471 0.04071 170 136 26 8
486 This cartoon is cynical, naive, and poorly drawn. 1.2470 0.04714 166 140 11 15
487 Come on, someone has to pay for our retirement! 1.2470 0.04224 166 134 23 9
488 Well...somebody's got to support us when we get older. 1.2470 0.04137 166 133 25 8
489 Good idea giving him his inheritance right away. 1.2470 0.04137 166 133 25 8
490 Our sweet little bundle of expenses. 1.2468 0.04277 158 127 23 8
491 I think it's a capital idea 1.2468 0.04352 154 124 22 8
492 I call it the 'millennial's dream catcher'. 1.2466 0.04513 146 118 20 8
493 And this tune from Cabaret is the perfect lullaby ! 1.2460 0.04245 187 155 18 14
494 I can't wait for baby's first cash grab." 1.2460 0.03741 187 148 32 7
495 It's actually cheaper than the Pottery Barn one you wanted 1.2458 0.04236 179 147 20 12
496 No unicorns and rainbows for my kid - everyone knows "money makes the world go round! " 1.2455 0.04370 167 137 19 11
497 We have to start some time! 1.2455 0.04452 167 138 17 12
498 The preschool advisor recommended it for fiscal development. 1.2455 0.04201 167 135 23 9
499 This was actually cheaper to make than buying a mobile from the store. 1.2455 0.03935 167 132 29 6
500 Until debt do us part. 1.2454 0.04182 163 131 24 8
501 Never too soon to dangle his trust fund over his head. 1.2454 0.04182 163 131 24 8
502 I think it's important to set unrealistic expectations. 1.2453 0.04158 159 127 25 7
503 He’ll need a helmet for the ‘trickle down economics’ feature. 1.2453 0.04253 159 128 23 8
504 Let's name him Ebenezer. 1.2452 0.04516 155 127 18 10
505 I prefer to think of it as an 'upwardly mobile.' 1.2452 0.04229 155 124 24 7
506 What do you mean? That IS her college savings plan 1.2450 0.04199 151 120 25 6
507 Instead of a pink or blue gender reveal, they’ll just be seeing green. 1.2450 0.04303 151 121 23 7
508 Maybe she’ll earn enough to pay off our student loans. 1.2448 0.04236 143 113 25 5
509 Then a piggy bank for the first birthday. Then bonuses for walking, potty training, sleeping through the night, and speaking in complete sentences. 1.2448 0.04351 143 114 23 6
510 I have a feeling she’s going to be a material girl. 1.2443 0.04735 131 106 18 7
511 At least they’re not bitcoins. 1.2442 0.04029 172 138 26 8
512 It's never too early to make sure it becomes a Republican. 1.2439 0.04505 164 136 16 12
513 Who knows, it may inspire a presidential run when they grow up 1.2437 0.04836 160 136 9 15
514 But the Baby Buffett website gave it five stars. 1.2436 0.04397 156 127 20 9
515 It was the cheapest thing they had in an upwardly mobile. 1.2436 0.04581 156 129 16 11
516 It's called manifesting 1.2432 0.04247 148 118 24 6
517 I hope this is not too late. It should have been over our bed eight months ago. 1.2432 0.04025 148 116 28 4
518 This is a 1929 vintage model. It can come crashing down overnight. 1.2432 0.04458 148 120 20 8
519 The money mobile's a stretch but a Wall Street Journal subscription? 1.2429 0.04028 177 143 25 9
520 Just out of reach… well, he might as well start getting used to it. 1.2428 0.04008 173 139 26 8
521 Some say that Calder’s later period was influenced by commercial success. 1.2426 0.04071 169 136 25 8
522 Think about it honey, wouldn't you want to know about the volatility of money before the other kids?" 1.2426 0.04240 169 138 21 10
523 We can lower it when inflation comes down. 1.2426 0.04157 169 137 23 9
524 Not again... I just had a big lunch Steve 1.2426 0.04860 169 146 5 18
525 And it lulls you to sleep with Warren Buffet’s investment tips. 1.2424 0.04396 165 136 18 11
526 Boomers have no idea how much it cost to raise a child today. 1.2424 0.04642 165 139 12 14
527 I take it you still prefer the name Elon. 1.2422 0.04808 161 137 9 15
528 Too crass? 1.2420 0.04464 157 129 18 10
529 I've been told that this is what Fred did for Donald. 1.2420 0.04554 157 130 16 11
530 Raising a New Yorker 1.2420 0.04277 157 127 22 8
531 By the time she’s born Powerball will be at $5 billion! 1.2416 0.04631 149 123 16 10
532 It's important to learn from an early age that easy money will always be just out of reach. 1.2416 0.04239 178 147 19 12
533 How much Stimulus does a baby need? 1.2414 0.03903 174 139 28 7
534 We might as well teach her that it's out of reach right from the get-go. 1.2410 0.04288 166 136 20 10
535 We keep it just out of reach and we prepare her for a lifetime of crushed expectations 1.2407 0.04182 162 131 23 8
536 What’s wrong? Just saying goodbye to my savings, vacation and retirement! 1.2405 0.04253 158 128 22 8
537 Burglars would never believe we were hiding it here 1.2404 0.04079 183 150 22 11
538 Forget pink and blue. They'll learn soon enough that it's all about the green. 1.2403 0.04327 154 125 21 8
539 To teach our baby that there is more to life than sex, drugs and rock-and-roll. 1.2403 0.04327 154 125 21 8
540 This is our retirement plan? 1.2403 0.04228 154 124 23 7
541 It will always be just out of reach. 1.2402 0.04142 179 147 21 11
542 I call it 'Goodnight Money. 1.2402 0.04142 179 147 21 11
543 Let’s give the kid something to look up to. 1.2402 0.03988 179 145 25 9
544 The sooner they learn about pay-to-play, the better off they’ll be. 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
545 It’s my way of teaching him about a balanced budget. 1.2400 0.04208 175 144 20 11
546 When you think of Kit all you see is money. 1.2398 0.04356 171 142 17 12
547 Yeah, yeah, I know it looks like emotional abuse, but if you start early on guilt-tripping em about the exorbitant cost of child-rearing, they get fed up and move out earlier. BOOM, big money-saver. Long game, babe 1.2398 0.04356 171 142 17 12
548 You can never be too young to understand currency circulation 1.2398 0.04028 171 138 25 8
549 The Fed recommends keeping it juuuuust out of reach. 1.2398 0.04028 171 138 25 8
550 It practically pays for itself 1.2398 0.03763 171 135 31 5
551 We'll keep it just out of reach. That'll be a good life lesson. 1.2397 0.04380 146 118 21 7
552 Now’s a fine time for you to bring up de-dollarization! 1.2397 0.05262 146 127 3 16
553 Whimsical, modern, genderless. IKEA has done it again. 1.2395 0.04092 167 135 24 8
554 My parents played Mozart for me when I slept, and look how I turned out. I think we should try something a little more direct. 1.2395 0.04092 167 135 24 8
555 It's supposed to stimulate interest in fiscal matters. 1.2393 0.04673 163 138 11 14
556 I hear Fred Trump got one for his kids 1.2393 0.04159 163 132 23 8
557 I really hope this inspires her to be upwardly mobile. 1.2393 0.04249 163 133 21 9
558 This should keep him away from cryptocurrency. 1.2391 0.03675 184 146 32 6
559 Mobile currency ... it's the future! 1.2390 0.04133 159 128 24 7
560 You gotta teach the right lesson about money: Always dangled in your face and just out of reach. 1.2390 0.04322 159 130 20 9
561 I’m telling you, this is better than a 529. 1.2387 0.04398 155 127 19 9
562 Don't worry! Once the wiring's done, I'll swap it for crypto. 1.2387 0.04398 155 127 19 9
563 Little Elon is going to love this... 1.2384 0.04378 151 123 20 8
564 It's my retirement plan. 1.2384 0.03954 151 119 28 4
565 Well, look at that. An upwardly mobile mobile. 1.2384 0.03834 172 137 29 6
566 I am not naming him Elon 1.2381 0.04663 147 122 15 10
567 It never hurts to start false expections early. 1.2381 0.04459 147 120 19 8
568 Dont worry, it'll always be out of reach. 1.2381 0.04353 147 119 21 7
569 She needs to get used to it being out of reach. 1.2381 0.04245 147 118 23 6
570 Montessori has really changed 1.2378 0.03855 164 130 29 5
571 It's to remind me of what we could have had. 1.2378 0.04225 164 134 21 9
572 At first, the only things they can have are liquid. 1.2378 0.03951 164 131 27 6
573 It's a subtle play on the financial insecurity that awaits our little munchkin. 1.2378 0.04225 164 134 21 9
574 No, Linda! It’s MY bed! I’m older! It’s not FAIR some baby gets it! 1.2378 0.04727 164 140 9 15
575 Upwardly mobile 1.2378 0.04958 143 121 10 12
576 We’ll, at least I’LL sleep better. 1.2378 0.04206 143 114 24 5
577 But I want to raise a poet. 1.2378 0.03965 143 112 28 3
578 This way if the baby dreams of fabulous wealth, it will be safely out of reach. 1.2370 0.04070 173 141 23 9
579 In 15 years,it will have paid for itself. 1.2370 0.03814 173 138 29 6
580 It encourages upward mobility 1.2368 0.04041 152 121 26 5
581 If she's going to be a special prosecutor she needs to learn how to follow the money. 1.2367 0.04048 169 137 24 8
582 The kid needs to know that money will always be out of reach. 1.2367 0.04134 169 138 22 9
583 I figured after setting up his 529 plan and pre-school registration, I might as well get him started on mobile banking. 1.2364 0.04289 165 136 19 10
584 Baby's gotta learn it's out of reach 1.2364 0.04202 165 135 21 9
585 It’s important to establish subconscious priorities early. 1.2363 0.04005 182 149 23 10
586 Well, it's called an upwardly mobile. 1.2360 0.04451 161 134 16 11
587 It’s never too soon to teach them the value of a dollar 1.2357 0.04252 157 128 21 8
588 When I said Fantasy-themed I was thinking unicorns. 1.2357 0.04347 157 129 19 9
589 How was I supposed to know an investment mobile is not the same as an investment vehicle? 1.2353 0.04278 170 141 18 11
590 A bun in the oven and pie in the sky. 1.2353 0.04577 136 111 18 7
591 What happened to my little footballs, baseballs, and basket balls? 1.2353 0.04226 153 124 22 7
592 If it's a boy,we can name him Bill. 1.2349 0.04266 166 137 19 10
593 I'm telling you, it's best to hide it in plain sight. 1.2349 0.04300 149 121 21 7
594 I was going to get a bull and bear, but then realized we should start with the basics. 1.2349 0.04506 149 123 17 9
595 It's a replica of the one Warren Buffet had over his crib. 1.2342 0.04322 158 130 19 9
596 This way he’ll get used to the constant debt looming over him. 1.2342 0.04131 158 128 23 7
597 I want him to share my interests. 1.2342 0.04322 158 130 19 9
598 I bought it at Yuppies”R”Us. 1.2342 0.04505 158 132 15 11
599 It didn’t work for me because I slept on my stomach 1.2339 0.03919 171 138 26 7
600 A child’s reach should always exceed its grasp or what are exorbitant student loan rates for? 1.2339 0.04491 171 145 12 14
601 The Knicks liked what they saw on the ultrasound! 1.2339 0.04491 171 145 12 14
602 Teach the kid, what they want is out of reach. 1.2339 0.04091 171 140 22 9
603 Keeping it out of reach will teach our baby about life. 1.2338 0.04398 154 127 18 9
604 I'm starting a new investment option ... crib-o-currency. 1.2338 0.04398 154 127 18 9
605 Formula is for closers. 1.2338 0.04398 154 127 18 9
606 Are you sure marrying rich isn't a better idea? 1.2337 0.03890 184 150 25 9
607 Let's hope exposure therapy works. 1.2335 0.03887 167 134 27 6
608 Well, yeah, we do need constant reminders, but have we taken this college savings thing too far? 1.2335 0.03979 167 135 25 7
609 I don't care if it's a boy or girl, as long as it's wealthy 1.2333 0.04578 150 125 15 10
610 It's made for Generation $" 1.2333 0.04578 150 125 15 10
611 Did your parents get us anything else? 1.2331 0.04135 163 133 22 8
612 Here's hoping for upward mobility. 1.2329 0.04351 146 119 20 7
613 I'm working on one for her twin. It will have cute dogs and cats; let's see which one supports us in our old age. 1.2327 0.04389 159 132 17 10
614 Hmmm, will paper currency make sense for the baby? 1.2327 0.04204 159 130 21 8
615 What? It’s what makes the world go round. 1.2327 0.04297 159 131 19 9
616 This will help our child understand upward mobility. 1.2327 0.04010 159 128 25 6
617 She’ll learn early that the Federal Reserve needs to cause a recession so we can avoid inflation. 1.2326 0.04391 172 145 14 13
618 By the time they reach this, they're going to need a hell of a lot more! 1.2324 0.04080 142 113 25 4
619 Elon if it's a boy, Taylor if it's a girl. 1.2324 0.04318 142 115 21 6
620 It's what Warren Buffet's parents did for him. 1.2324 0.04432 142 116 19 7
621 &^%$&^% Baby Mozart! 1.2323 0.03971 155 124 26 5
622 I thought grabbing for the brass ring was a bit archaic. 1.2320 0.04005 181 149 22 10
623 I want the baby to know what it's costing us! 1.2317 0.04020 164 133 24 7
624 Our child will invest in their dreams. 1.2317 0.04544 164 139 12 13
625 Benjamin if it’s a boy 1.2316 0.03905 177 144 25 8
626 It was a free gift from our bank for starting a college savings plan. 1.2316 0.03986 177 145 23 9
627 We want our child to be upwardly mobile. 1.2313 0.04607 134 110 17 7
628 It’s from their Upward Mobile-ity Collection. 1.2313 0.03988 147 117 26 4
629 It's a stimulus package. 1.2313 0.04324 147 120 20 7
630 This is a reminder that one is enough! 1.2313 0.04535 147 122 16 9
631 How else do we teach our child to be upwardly mobile? 1.2312 0.03887 160 128 27 5
632 Got it open sale at the Hedge Fund Gift Shop. 1.2312 0.04085 160 130 23 7
633 It's supposed to inspire mobile investing once he gets old enough to hold a phone. 1.2312 0.03878 173 140 26 7
634 It's never too early to start teaching financial literacy. 1.2308 0.04291 143 116 21 6
635 Oh, sure, Martha - he'll make billions, but he'll lose his soul and forget all about us. 1.2308 0.04152 156 127 22 7
636 It's called the Musk-go-round. 1.2308 0.04441 156 130 16 10
637 It’s the closest thing we have to a nest egg. 1.2308 0.04347 156 129 18 9
638 It came with the set of balance sheets. 1.2308 0.04533 156 131 14 11
639 With the rise in inflation, it was actually cheaper to just make it myself. 1.2303 0.04045 178 147 21 10
640 Yep, just out of reach like Mommy and Daddy. 1.2303 0.03904 165 133 26 6
641 We’ll raise him with tour religion, but my value system. 1.2303 0.03998 165 134 24 7
642 Well look at that - you’re a day late, and I’m a dollar short. 1.2303 0.04179 165 136 20 9
643 It teaches the principles of capitalism and helps build arm strength. 1.2303 0.04325 152 125 19 8
644 But what if it's a girl? 1.2303 0.04618 152 128 13 11
645 We gotta get them started early. 1.2302 0.04488 139 114 18 7
646 Just in case he's a very stable genius. 1.2298 0.04600 161 137 11 13
647 Disney got cynical. 1.2298 0.04249 161 133 19 9
648 We have to establish early what is beyond their reach. 1.2297 0.04507 148 123 16 9
649 He’ll learn his reach should exceed his grasp. 1.2296 0.04328 135 109 21 5
650 It's just in case she doesn't have any real talent! 1.2293 0.04226 157 129 20 8
651 He'll be getting a job and supporting us before you know it! 1.2293 0.04226 157 129 20 8
652 I guess the ad wasn’t wrong by saying “mobile of your wildest dreams” 1.2293 0.03926 157 126 26 5
653 OK we can switch to birds but don’t blame me if the kid is a penniless bird watcher. 1.2292 0.04486 144 119 17 8
654 Why would Amazon send this to us for free? 1.2292 0.04593 144 120 15 9
655 I want to give him the advantage of being born under the right sign. 1.2292 0.04264 144 117 21 6
656 Ok so he probably will grow up to be an arrogant, condescending, obnoxious, irredeemable investment banker but he also will probably have floor seats to the Knicks! 1.2289 0.04328 166 139 16 11
657 Nursery's ready! Time to pick a name: Jeff, Elon or Bernard? 1.2288 0.04300 153 126 19 8
658 It's all about the interest. 1.2288 0.04198 153 125 21 7
659 Are you sure you want our kid to grow up to be a lawyer? 1.2286 0.04087 175 145 20 10
660 Never too early to teach that monetary weath is unreachable for their generation 1.2282 0.03941 149 119 26 4
661 I said ‘crypto,’ not ‘crib dough.’ 1.2282 0.04377 149 123 18 8
662 At least you’re being paid for your labor. 1.2281 0.03982 171 140 23 8
663 Really? 1.2278 0.03799 158 126 28 4
664 What if our child just wants to be an artist or musician? 1.2278 0.03903 158 127 26 5
665 Ayn Rand would be so proud." 1.2278 0.04105 158 129 22 7
666 You're the one who wanted to name him Goldman Sachs. 1.2276 0.04349 145 119 19 7
667 No, really, it was Calder’s personal favorite. 1.2276 0.04668 145 122 13 10
668 I thought we agreed to raise him as a Republican. 1.2276 0.04458 145 120 17 8
669 It's called an Exxon Mobile. 1.2276 0.04458 145 120 17 8
670 I thought our child's first toy should be both fun and fungible. 1.2276 0.04123 145 117 23 5
671 let’s be honest, do *you* wake up every day thinking on getting an elephant? 1.2275 0.04548 167 143 10 14
672 Because Treasury bonds don’t jingle. that’s why… 1.2270 0.04430 141 116 18 7
673 I want the baby to reach for universal goals and not be a struggling cartoonist like me. 1.2267 0.04551 150 126 14 10
674 Now as long as you give birth in this tax year, we're all set... 1.2265 0.03827 181 148 25 8
675 I’m want to teach him that money doesn’t grow on trees. 1.2264 0.03983 159 129 24 6
676 Her birthday pinata! 1.2264 0.04272 159 132 18 9
677 Is was NOT a waste of money! 1.2263 0.04395 137 112 19 6
678 I just want to remind him how much this is costing us. 1.2260 0.04211 146 119 21 6
679 You want him to take care of us in old age, don’t you? 1.2260 0.03980 146 117 25 4
680 The unicorn mobile was more realistic than this one, honey 1.2260 0.04211 146 119 21 6
681 I got it from Bills, Bucks, and Beyond. 1.2258 0.04249 155 128 19 8
682 We need to raise a hedge fund manager for our retirement. 1.2256 0.04178 164 136 19 9
683 It’ll definitely generate interest. 1.2252 0.04220 151 124 20 7
684 « Look my arm stretches like Gumby » 1.2252 0.04425 151 126 16 9
685 I am calling it…”Upwardly Mobile” 1.2250 0.04248 160 133 18 9
686 Let him know early what makes the world go round. 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
687 Relax! Early exposure to money may insure our child will be president, too. 1.2248 0.04435 129 105 19 5
688 Never too early to keep an eye on the prize! 1.2246 0.04485 138 114 17 7
689 It’s called early adoption, honey. Look it up, religion has been doing it for years. 1.2246 0.04715 138 116 13 9
690 Perhaps our new subsidiary can revive the fortunes of this troubled merger. 1.2245 0.04609 147 124 13 10
691 The sooner the kid knows what's important in life, the better! 1.2245 0.04072 147 119 23 5
692 Donald had one of these when he was young. 1.2245 0.04609 147 124 13 10
693 It's the finance bro mobile. 1.2245 0.04295 147 121 19 7
694 It will always hang over his head. 1.2245 0.04295 147 121 19 7
695 Okay, OKAYY: We’ll name him Rich. 1.2244 0.03920 156 126 25 5
696 I expect him to take care of us in our old age 1.2242 0.04064 165 136 21 8
697 You calculated the ROI, right? 1.2242 0.04242 165 138 17 10
698 How much did it cost? 1.2242 0.04154 165 137 19 9
699 This is just until I can teach him to read a spreadsheet 1.2240 0.04524 125 102 18 5
700 ....and it's gender-neutral. 1.2238 0.04259 143 117 20 6
701 Babies who know money is out of reach, are happier. 1.2238 0.04373 143 118 18 7
702 It's his mobile banking app. 1.2238 0.04699 143 121 12 10
703 I need to borrow some money for the paternity test. 1.2238 0.04259 143 117 20 6
704 I grew up with Scrooge McDuck, you wouldn't understand... 1.2237 0.04398 152 127 16 9
705 It’s supposed to encourage upward mobility! 1.2237 0.04496 152 128 14 10
706 If we want someone to take care of us in our old age,we have to start now 1.2235 0.04081 179 150 18 11
707 The baby needs inspiration to start saving for college now. 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
708 It doesn't do us any good to put it under the mattress. 1.2231 0.04125 130 104 23 3
709 Wait'll you see the bath toys I made out of check book covers. 1.2231 0.04667 130 108 15 7
710 Little Morgan Stanley will love it! 1.2230 0.04571 139 116 15 8
711 I’m OK with the baby being non-binary but I won’t tolerate her being non-monetary. 1.2230 0.04479 148 124 15 9
712 It's Cribto currency and everyone will want it. 1.2230 0.04160 148 121 21 6
713 I said I wanted her first word to be MOMMY. 1.2230 0.04479 148 124 15 9
714 You got to pick ‘Ebenezer’, I get to pick the mobile. 1.2229 0.04200 157 130 19 8
715 Credit cards are too stimulating. 1.2229 0.04101 157 129 21 7
716 I call it the ‘Upwardly Mobile’... it stimulates fiscal development. 1.2229 0.04219 166 139 17 10
717 Wave bye-bye sweetie. 1.2222 0.03959 153 124 24 5
718 Cash is better than crypto 1.2222 0.04170 153 126 20 7
719 THIS is your way of telling me we’re having twins?? 1.2222 0.04346 144 119 18 7
720 They call it Cribto currency. 1.2216 0.04044 176 147 19 10
721 Distract the kid from crying? Hell, I'll bawl every time I see it. 1.2216 0.04109 167 139 19 9
722 Amazon gives us a free carton of diapers for each month it's up 1.2215 0.04175 158 131 19 8
723 You tell me a better time to teach them about compound interest. 1.2215 0.03875 158 128 25 5
724 It's never too early to teach about capitalism. 1.2215 0.04650 149 127 11 11
725 The plan is to leave these boot straps in the crib so she can pull herself up there. 1.2215 0.04243 149 123 19 7
726 The 2041 summer analyst programs are going to be VERY competitive 1.2214 0.04188 140 114 21 5
727 In this family,the stork delivers dividends. 1.2214 0.04760 131 110 13 8
728 'I want them to grow up believing fairytales' 1.2209 0.04176 163 136 18 9
729 Screw bunnies and duckies! This kid’s gonna learn to focus on what really matters. 1.2208 0.04042 154 126 22 6
730 It’s a lot better than that Bitcoin model. 1.2208 0.04042 154 126 22 6
731 This mobile not only stimulates our newborn but lets them know exactly what we're going to expect of him when he gets older.... 1.2208 0.04537 154 131 12 11
732 Let's name her Robin D. Bank. 1.2208 0.04247 154 128 18 8
733 He should learn early what isn't attainable 1.2207 0.03723 145 115 28 2
734 I’m okay with this but we can’t name him “Cash.” 1.2207 0.03972 145 117 24 4
735 Why did you replace my bitcoin mobile with this ugly thing? 1.2207 0.04091 145 118 22 5
736 We're early investors. 1.2206 0.04134 136 110 22 4
737 So it will know what cash was. 1.2206 0.04512 136 113 16 7
738 It’s called an “upward mobility mobile” can’t hurt; might help! 1.2205 0.04598 127 105 16 6
739 May as well teach the baby early that capitalism is a tease 1.2205 0.04862 127 107 12 8
740 The reach will be beyond the grasp. 1.2202 0.03624 168 135 29 4
741 We can switch to flowers and birdies if it's a girl." 1.2202 0.04173 168 141 17 10
742 Yeah well, the Joneses have a silver spoon. 1.2201 0.03955 159 130 23 6
743 No NFT'S or BITCOIN from our baby. 1.2201 0.04054 159 131 21 7
744 Your water may have broke, but our son won’t be. 1.2199 0.04038 141 114 23 4
745 It used to be Trump’s 1.2199 0.04161 141 115 21 5
746 I’m thinking we can replace it with cryptocurrency when the baby gets older. 1.2199 0.04161 141 115 21 5
747 I guess my parents aren't too happy that we moved back in with them... 1.2199 0.04398 141 117 17 7
748 OK! Now for the balance sheet. 1.2197 0.04726 132 111 13 8
749 Look, it was you who insisted we name him after your grandfather Donald. 1.2197 0.04325 173 148 12 13
750 Look honey - this mobile I made with real money costs less than the other baby toys you've bought 1.2194 0.04320 155 130 16 9
751 My family has a long history of money hanging over our heads. 1.2188 0.04128 160 133 19 8
752 She'll need to embrace mobile banking from the get-go. 1.2188 0.04287 128 104 20 4
753 They didn't have anything in crypto. 1.2188 0.04031 160 132 21 7
754 I still think it needs an inflationary balloon. 1.2185 0.04085 151 124 21 6
755 It's almost too late to start saving for his college education. 1.2183 0.04370 142 118 17 7
756 It’s never too early to contemplate upward mobility. 1.2180 0.04571 133 111 15 7
757 Let the guilt trip begin. 1.2179 0.03782 156 126 26 4
758 With luck she'll either be a CPA or an embezzler. 1.2177 0.04517 124 102 17 5
759 He may as well learn early what makes the world go ‘round. 1.2177 0.04265 147 122 18 7
760 And we'll name her Oprah Elon Berkshire Hathaway Jones? 1.2177 0.04154 147 121 20 6
761 You said you liked the name Adam Smith. 1.2174 0.04379 161 137 13 11
762 It's on loan from Elon's parents 1.2174 0.04289 161 136 15 10
763 Wait'll you see his binkie. 1.2174 0.04452 138 115 16 7
764 It's just to make sure his reach won't exceed his grasp. 1.2174 0.04008 161 133 21 7
765 It’s never too early to plan for retirement. 1.2171 0.03724 152 122 27 3
766 Never too early to diversify. 1.2171 0.03951 152 124 23 5
767 He’s gonna be our little angel investor. 1.2168 0.04109 143 117 21 5
768 It’s all about out little Benjamin 1.2168 0.03987 143 116 23 4
769 Another example of your mother letting me know I don't make enough money. 1.2168 0.04342 143 119 17 7
770 Honestly honey, it’s a great investment—we can’t lose—it’s covered by the FDIC. 1.2168 0.04563 143 121 13 9
771 For optimal real-life training, it should be within reach but not within grasp. 1.2166 0.03972 157 129 22 6
772 We want his eyes on the prize. 1.2166 0.03972 157 129 22 6
773 If it's a boy, Donald. 1.2164 0.04105 171 144 17 10
774 I just think it’s important for the baby to start thinking about college right from the start. 1.2162 0.04552 148 126 12 10
775 The box said it was aspirational? 1.2162 0.04238 148 123 18 7
776 It’s not a mobile. It’s a cash grab. 1.2162 0.03780 148 119 26 3
777 It used to belong to Elon Musk! 1.2162 0.04128 148 122 20 6
778 It's never too early to discourage his dream of becoming an artist. 1.2162 0.04345 148 124 16 8
779 Are you accusing me of robbing the cradle? 1.2162 0.04238 148 123 18 7
780 What? It’s a modern day dream catcher. 1.2160 0.03986 162 134 21 7
781 Think that will hold the baby's interest? 1.2158 0.04181 139 114 20 5
782 How else will he know we love him? 1.2158 0.04423 139 116 16 7
783 I want her to dream big. 1.2158 0.04539 139 117 14 8
784 I call it my 'potential return on investment' influencer. 1.2157 0.04723 153 133 7 13
785 Honey, I can feel the baby pulling himself up by his own bootstraps. 1.2154 0.04501 130 108 16 6
786 I thought we agreed that good parenting is all about setting incentives. 1.2154 0.04227 130 106 20 4
787 It seems unstable and still appears secure. 1.2154 0.04366 130 107 18 5
788 With this, he will get used to having it always be just out of reach! 1.2153 0.04200 144 119 19 6
789 I bought it on a lay-awake plan. 1.2153 0.04200 144 119 19 6
790 It’s a real breakthrough in mobile banking. 1.2153 0.04200 144 119 19 6
791 This way she'll learn early that wealth and prosperity will always be out of reach. 1.2152 0.04050 158 131 20 7
792 He will recall this fondly in later years when he is in prison for securities fraud. 1.2149 0.04725 121 101 14 6
793 They say it's never to early to start training on cribtocurrency. 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
794 This pays the Ob/Gyn, then we use it to hang drying diapers. 1.2148 0.04524 149 127 12 10
795 She’ll get a headstart understanding the cyclical nature of the economy. 1.2148 0.04212 149 124 18 7
796 It’s the latest 529 plan. 1.2147 0.04150 163 137 17 9
797 It's a late Calder. 1.2143 0.04452 126 104 17 5
798 It's never too early to teach him how the world goes around! 1.2143 0.04117 154 128 19 7
799 Just a subtle nudge to grow up and fix the financial crisis. 1.2138 0.04174 145 120 19 6
800 Let's just call it what it is. 1.2137 0.04198 131 107 20 4
801 Hopefully at some point it will sink in how much a child costs us. 1.2137 0.04599 131 110 14 7
802 I saw it on an episode of MTV Cribs. 1.2137 0.04198 131 107 20 4
803 I got it from the yard sale at Trump Tower! 1.2133 0.04496 150 128 12 10
804 You can never start the rat race too early. 1.2132 0.04228 136 112 19 5
805 Well, when IS it a good time to discuss his earning potential? 1.2132 0.04355 136 113 17 6
806 We don't know their gender yet, and this is completely gender neutral. 1.2132 0.04478 136 114 15 7
807 It was a free gift from The Young Republicans club. 1.2128 0.04002 141 115 22 4
808 It's the only way for her to learn that financial wealth may taunt you but is ultimately unreachable. 1.2128 0.04248 141 117 18 6
809 It's kinda cute, but does it really have to play the theme music from The Godfather? 1.2128 0.04365 141 118 16 7
810 The final step in our retirement plan. 1.2126 0.04559 127 106 15 6
811 Trust me, mobile finance is the next big thing. 1.2126 0.04420 127 105 17 5
812 And at the time she can reach it, we’ll explain compound interest to her. 1.2126 0.04420 127 105 17 5
813 Fish and butterflies are the liberal arts of mobiles. 1.2126 0.04559 127 106 15 6
814 It'll pay for itself, they said. 1.2123 0.04148 146 121 19 6
815 What do you want her to do, count sheep? 1.2123 0.04148 146 121 19 6
816 „It is a vintage model, so what? The one with Credit Cards, Apple Pay, and Pay Pal was far too expensive.“ 1.2123 0.04369 146 123 15 8
817 I know. I know. I will reattach the toy animals. 1.2121 0.04169 132 108 20 4
818 To hell with reaching for the stars! 1.2121 0.04438 132 110 16 6
819 What exactly is your mother trying to say with this gift? 1.2121 0.04169 132 108 20 4
820 Because bunnies do not say, "plan for the future." 1.2121 0.04306 132 109 18 5
821 No, money ISN’T everything. But it beats whatever’s in second place. 1.2121 0.04306 132 109 18 5
822 Someone needs to pay this mortgage!! 1.2119 0.04566 151 130 10 11
823 Therefore his name shall be, Rich. 1.2119 0.04266 151 127 16 8
824 This is the more realistic kind of green parenting. 1.2119 0.04144 118 95 21 2
825 I just hope the dollar doesn't crash! 1.2117 0.04070 137 112 21 4
826 4th Generation Trump 1.2117 0.04200 137 113 19 5
827 Isn’t this what you meant when you said you wanted the nursery to be green? 1.2117 0.04326 137 114 17 6
828 No kid of mine is investing in bitcoin 1.2117 0.04070 137 112 21 4
829 This way as she gets older she’ll understand that money is just a construct that we constantly chase but can never actually obtain. 1.2115 0.03965 156 129 21 6
830 And by the time she’s thirteen, she’ll know how to swindle! 1.2109 0.04917 128 110 9 9
831 Well it’s really important to get your priorities straight right from the start. 1.2109 0.04660 128 108 13 7
832 Not even one bitcoin? You're so 2020! 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
833 As you know I've been working hard on my mobile banking idea... 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
834 I ordered it from the Amazon Jeff Bezos nursery collection. 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
835 We should have danced all night. 1.2109 0.04342 147 124 15 8
836 It's never too early to learn there's no such thing as 'play money'. 1.2109 0.04233 147 123 17 7
837 I first bought the Bitcoin Mobile but when I opened the box, it was empty so I bought this old fashioned one. 1.2105 0.04276 133 110 18 5
838 money flies when you're having a baby 1.2105 0.04659 133 113 12 8
839 At first I thought I'd get the Bambi mobile. Then I thought heck, she can own Disney when she grows up. 1.2105 0.04240 152 128 16 8
840 She’s demanding a ransom to come out. 1.2105 0.04535 133 112 14 7
841 I’m telling you - he’ll still be freeloading in 2045, if we don’t start now. 1.2101 0.04418 138 116 15 7
842 I want him to know that the cost of this crib is coming out of his allowance. 1.2101 0.04418 138 116 15 7
843 And it plays Twinkle Twinkle Bullion Bar. 1.2101 0.04043 138 113 21 4
844 But, what if it works? 1.2101 0.04418 138 116 15 7
845 It’s Orion‘s money belt.” 1.2101 0.04755 119 100 13 6
846 Scoff if you will, Bea, but someday I swear our young Gordon will make the Gekko family proud. 1.2099 0.04416 162 140 10 12
847 You know, a kid has to have focus. 1.2098 0.04309 143 120 16 7
848 I'll say it's rigged! How often would you expect to see all three finalists from the same city in the entire internet community? 1.2098 0.04744 143 124 8 11
849 It plays 'Sing a Song of Sixpence' and 'If I Had a Million Dollars'. 1.2098 0.04074 143 118 20 5
850 I thought this one was less severe than the death and taxes mobile. 1.2097 0.04895 124 106 10 8
851 We're gonna raise ourselves a politician, we are! 1.2096 0.03686 167 137 25 5
852 It needs Euros. 1.2095 0.03865 148 121 23 4
853 at least we're honest. 1.2095 0.03865 148 121 23 4
854 This seems safer than the bitcoin version. 1.2095 0.03983 148 122 21 5
855 What? I thought you wanted something gender neutral? 1.2095 0.03865 148 121 23 4
856 Of Course you want to name him Benjamin 1.2093 0.04756 129 110 11 8
857 My buddy Elon said his parents had one when he was a baby and it helped him focus on what’s important. 1.2092 0.03896 153 126 22 5
858 If it gets the message, maybe there's a chance of retirement without outstanding student loans. 1.2090 0.04113 134 110 20 4
859 it's the American dream. She'll reach and reach but never get it. 1.2090 0.04377 134 112 16 6
860 I know it's old fashioned, but the bitcoin version was sold out. 1.2086 0.04268 139 116 17 6
861 It's supposed to instill a life-long quest to attain the virtually unattainable. 1.2086 0.04268 139 116 17 6
862 Well it’s better than installing a corporate ladder. 1.2086 0.04620 139 119 11 9
863 And I still say that adding in a gold bar or two wouldn't be that dangerous and would add asset allocation. 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
864 We’re creating a new glass ceiling for our baby to shatter. 1.2083 0.04167 144 120 18 6
865 The ones with Bitcoin were sold out. 1.2083 0.04167 144 120 18 6
866 If we do this right, Sherri, there’s no doubt we’re breaking even by year three. 1.2083 0.04412 120 99 17 4
867 So someone in this family can be upwardly mobile. 1.2083 0.04167 144 120 18 6
868 Can't wait till our little one is saying 'Show me the money'. 1.2081 0.04288 149 126 15 8
869 Look! Today when I opened her college fund account the bank gave us a free mo’ bill. 1.2081 0.04071 149 124 19 6
870 How do you like "Elon"? 1.2080 0.04859 125 107 10 8
871 Really? You want him to be a materialist? 1.2078 0.03981 154 128 20 6
872 Every time she cries, we take away $10. 1.2078 0.04189 154 130 16 8
873 It’s about our future” “Will our baby be able to support us in our old age? 1.2077 0.04462 130 109 15 6
874 It's never too early to start learning to 'follow the money. 1.2075 0.04096 159 134 17 8
875 Your parents chose an excellent baby gift. 1.2074 0.04085 135 111 20 4
876 Every night I'll pretend to be Joel Gray and sing "Money makes the world go around. It makes the world go round." 1.2074 0.04219 135 112 18 5
877 Let's give her formative years a nudge is all I'm saying. 1.2071 0.04118 140 116 19 5
878 Baby Baxter should learn early that money will always be just out of his reach! 1.2071 0.04118 140 116 19 5
879 Maybe he will learn to follow the money. 1.2071 0.03991 140 115 21 4
880 They make a crypto version, too, but it keeps falling. 1.2069 0.04580 145 125 10 10
881 He'll learn to stand early! 1.2069 0.04502 116 96 16 4
882 Just think, if your dad had been this smart you wouldn’t be barefoot and pregnant. 1.2069 0.04502 116 96 16 4
883 She might be Euro-Divergent. 1.2069 0.04254 145 122 16 7
884 Honey, the real money is under the mattress. 1.2067 0.04262 150 127 15 8
885 Calder’s mobiles may cost more but this one will be more useful. 1.2067 0.04155 150 126 17 7
886 It's the best I could do... the bitcoin mobiles were all sold out. 1.2067 0.04262 150 127 15 8
887 Financial literacy is the cornerstone of a happy childhood. 1.2066 0.04682 121 102 13 6
888 Never to early to start 1.2063 0.04112 126 103 20 3
889 The credit card one was just tacky. 1.2063 0.04112 126 103 20 3
890 It comes in a 20% smaller size for girls. 1.2063 0.04552 126 106 14 6
891 So he knows it's always just out of reach. 1.2063 0.04689 126 107 12 7
892 College isn't going to pay for itself. 1.2061 0.04431 131 110 15 6
893 You forgot the Amex Black Card 1.2061 0.04562 131 111 13 7
894 She’ll quickly learn that money doesn’t grow on trees 1.2059 0.04058 136 112 20 4
895 Agreed, if it's a boy, we name it Donald. 1.2059 0.04318 136 114 16 6
896 I decided to skip the romantic rainbow-and-unicorns stage of development and move our child right to the profit-motive stage. 1.2059 0.04318 136 114 16 6
897 It's to remind us that the baby is an I.R.S. deduction! 1.2059 0.04190 136 113 18 5
898 Show me the baby! 1.2059 0.04058 136 112 20 4
899 If you pull on it gently, it'll play ABBA's 1976 smash hit 'Money, Money, Money.' 1.2059 0.04563 136 116 12 8
900 It was too risky to purchase the Bitcoin version. 1.2059 0.04058 136 112 20 4
901 Now when they said trickle down 1.2057 0.04091 141 117 19 5
902 This takes upwardly mobile to a new level 1.2057 0.04091 141 117 19 5
903 The instructions say optimum placement is 'just out of reach.' 1.2057 0.03965 141 116 21 4
904 You said if I make it myself,it better not look cheap. 1.2055 0.03998 146 121 20 5
905 Billionaire tech titans aren't just born, ya know! 1.2055 0.04228 146 123 16 7
906 My new retirement plan to motivate him to take care of us in our old age... 1.2053 0.04022 151 126 19 6
907 Can you think of anything more soothing? 1.2053 0.03796 151 124 23 4
908 This absolutely fits the fairytale theme! 1.2051 0.04785 117 99 12 6
909 I thought we agreed on the bitcoin mobile. 1.2051 0.03935 156 130 20 6
910 Well, our kid has to take care of us in our old age, right? 1.2049 0.04346 122 101 17 4
911 …And that way, they learn early on how any dreams of being wealthy and secure in this world are always juuuuuust out of reach! 1.2047 0.04083 127 104 20 3
912 He needs to learn that money makes the world go round. 1.2045 0.03986 132 108 21 3
913 It'll make her grabby for money?" That's the point 1.2045 0.03838 132 107 23 2
914 You don't want to raise a child who picks a humanities major, do you? 1.2044 0.04162 137 114 18 5
915 You just can't start too early. 1.2044 0.04289 137 115 16 6
916 Keep the money just out of reach, so it knows how life works from an early age. 1.2042 0.04418 142 121 13 8
917 Mobile banking is all the rage these days. 1.2042 0.04065 142 118 19 5
918 It's for economic stimulation. 1.2041 0.04201 147 124 16 7
919 Our baby will learn it will always be out of reach. 1.2041 0.03854 147 121 22 4
920 It plays "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." 1.2034 0.04898 118 101 10 7
921 Since we've settled on calling him "Richie," I thought this would be appropriate. 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
922 Well, Mrs. Buffett, I think this will keep little Warren occupied for hours. 1.2033 0.04754 123 105 11 7
923 And when he’s older I’m going to give him Monopoly! 1.2031 0.04054 128 105 20 3
924 This better NOT play the theme song from "The Apprentice!" 1.2031 0.04486 128 108 14 6
925 The guys at work said mobile banking is all the rage 1.2031 0.04054 128 105 20 3
926 It worked for Jeff and Elon. 1.2030 0.04100 133 110 19 4
927 Why did you put my mobile in here? 1.2030 0.04744 133 115 9 9
928 What better way to demonstrate that happiness will always be just out of reach? 1.2030 0.04237 133 111 17 5
929 She's got to learn early about our mobile economy. 1.2030 0.04100 133 110 19 4
930 It was this or a Skinner Box. 1.2029 0.04618 138 119 10 9
931 When I was a kid, there was no such thing as mobile banking. 1.2029 0.04618 138 119 10 9
932 You can never start a career in finance too early. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
933 I smell money laundering” 1.2029 0.04383 138 117 14 7
934 Should we name him Dollar, Euro, or Crypto? 1.2029 0.04383 138 117 14 7
935 It’s just like life.. always out of reach. 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
936 I have this theory... 1.2028 0.04039 143 119 19 5
937 I read that this works for the Trump's. What do we have to lose? 1.2028 0.03915 143 118 21 4
938 You told me I could pick the mobile I liked as long as it matched the sage green accent wall 1.2028 0.03915 143 118 21 4
939 Our adviser called it “Fund Shui.” 1.2027 0.04063 148 124 18 6
940 We can play Motzart all you want, but that won't put food on his table! 1.2018 0.04855 114 97 11 6
941 A bunch of flying bugs just seemed creepy 1.2018 0.04855 114 97 11 6
942 It’s never too early to start on a hedge fund career. 1.2016 0.04282 124 103 17 4
943 It came with a free coin rattle. 1.2016 0.04282 124 103 17 4
944 Tell your father that I don't think this is funny! 1.2016 0.04316 129 108 16 5
945 This will teach the baby that money is always just out of reach. 1.2016 0.04173 129 107 18 4
946 It was in the discount aisle. 1.2016 0.04316 129 108 16 5
947 It’s subliminal. The child will be a financial success. 1.2016 0.04173 129 107 18 4
948 WTF, Gwen, it's always going to be outa reach! 1.2015 0.04208 134 112 17 5
949 And let’s name him Elon. 1.2015 0.04073 134 111 19 4
950 This just seemed more practical than gently nudging her to reach for the stars... 1.2015 0.04467 134 114 13 7
951 IRA won’t be able to touch this until he’s 59 1/2. 1.2015 0.03932 134 110 21 3
952 Guy at the dollar store said it should teach her about values or something. 1.2015 0.04339 134 113 15 6
953 I’ve already got the kid’s application filled out for Wharton! 1.2014 0.04587 139 120 10 9
954 Was never keen on that whole reaching for the stars thing either. 1.2014 0.04232 139 117 16 6
955 My cousin, the economist with The Fed sent it. 1.2014 0.04013 144 120 19 5
956 If we start now, maybe he can figure out how to finance a brother or sister. 1.2014 0.03890 144 119 21 4
957 Maybe she won't make the same mistake we did and she'll buy a house before she turns 3. 1.2014 0.04132 144 121 17 6
958 Gotta indoctrinate them early 1.2013 0.03924 149 124 20 5
959 A faster way to motivate the baby to stand. 1.2000 0.04144 130 108 18 4
960 Welcome little tax deduction! 1.2000 0.04399 125 105 15 5
961 Shall we name him Donald? 1.2000 0.04179 135 113 17 5
962 Look,Frank Lloyd Wrights folks hung models of famous buildings over his crib. 1.2000 0.04399 125 105 15 5
963 She'll subconsciously pay us back for this later. 1.2000 0.04310 135 114 15 6
964 I appreciate the gift, but do your parents always have to flaunt their money like that? 1.2000 0.03998 130 107 20 3
965 Looks a little cash heavy to me. 1.2000 0.04096 125 103 19 3
966 Had I known about Alexa's insistent "Buy Again" "Buy Again "Buy Again"... 1.2000 0.04179 135 113 17 5
967 Greenbacks seem to be the most calming color. 1.2000 0.03784 150 124 22 4
968 This play money may be charming, but it won't pay the bills when the baby arrives. 1.2000 0.04179 135 113 17 5
969 I don't care about a gender reveal, I just want the kid to grow up to be a Capitalist. 1.2000 0.04080 140 117 18 5
970 It provides a complete fiscal workout. 1.2000 0.04286 130 109 16 5
971 It’s good to learn early that it’s just out of reach. 1.2000 0.04204 140 118 16 6
972 No pressure. 1.2000 0.04013 150 126 18 6
973 Fortunately, everything should balance out soon. 1.2000 0.03687 130 105 24 1
974 They were on sale at one of the dollar stores. 1.2000 0.04286 130 109 16 5
975 Trust me, this is much better than your idea to give him unconditional love. 1.2000 0.04555 130 111 12 7
976 Says to remove 18% if it's a girl. 1.2000 0.04674 120 102 12 6
977 It’s called manifesting, babe. Look it up. 1.2000 0.04123 150 127 16 7
978 It was a fantasy themed mobile. I guess the fantasy being that we’ll be out of debt. 1.2000 0.03952 140 116 20 4
979 Little Donnie's going to love it 1.1987 0.04209 156 134 13 9
980 Another doomed to failure retirement plan 1.1986 0.03962 146 122 19 5
981 Dream big, baby. 1.1986 0.04054 141 118 18 5
982 I refuse to raise a socialist! 1.1985 0.03880 136 112 21 3
983 But the IRS will never look for it there! 1.1985 0.04280 136 115 15 6
984 He should know how fortunate he is. 1.1985 0.04018 136 113 19 4
985 Three syllables two words, "student loans." He or she needs to keep their eyes on the prize. 1.1985 0.04115 131 109 18 4
986 They say future generations will rely entirely on mobile banking. 1.1985 0.04523 131 112 12 7
987 I figure it best to start him early chasing the almighty buck. 1.1985 0.03819 131 107 22 2
988 Perfect for Daddy’s little hedge fund manager. 1.1984 0.04066 126 104 19 3
989 It’s all about Benjamin, baby. 1.1984 0.04367 126 106 15 5
990 Dwayne ‘Barack’ Obama 1.1984 0.04914 126 110 7 9
991 ...And, it doubles as his college fund! 1.1983 0.04169 121 100 18 3
992 What? Green is a secondary color, and wealth is a primary objective. I think it works! 1.1983 0.04638 121 103 12 6
993 I 'm calling this new piece from my reality for infants line "debt collection 1.1983 0.04617 116 98 13 5
994 It’s a Banksy 1.1983 0.04931 116 100 9 7
995 Hey, hon? Where is the baby? 1.1982 0.04927 111 95 10 6
996 It's essential that it remain just out of reach. 1.1972 0.03902 142 118 20 4
997 I installed your mobile, Mrs. Bezos, but you're crazy if you think it will make any difference. 1.1972 0.04268 142 121 14 7
998 It came with the Barron's for Newborns subscription. 1.1972 0.04496 142 123 10 9
999 We're talking about a startup with rapid growth potential. 1.1972 0.04028 142 119 18 5
1000 Do you really think Bezos wasted time staring at fuzzy bunnies? 1.1971 0.04123 137 115 17 5
1001 She’ll be part of the mobile generation right from the start. 1.1970 0.03943 132 109 20 3
1002 I'll talk about crypto until she'll fall asleep. Don't worry! 1.1970 0.04226 132 111 16 5
1003 And for the baby's name, I was thinking Elon, Jeff or Larry! 1.1970 0.04360 132 112 14 6
1004 It also contains an antenna to help him with his cell phone reception 1.1970 0.04360 132 112 14 6
1005 It's an investment piece. 1.1969 0.04336 127 107 15 5
1006 Do you like it? It's an important piece of our retirement planning strategy. 1.1969 0.04336 127 107 15 5
1007 We need to dangle false hope right from the start. 1.1969 0.04336 127 107 15 5
1008 A revolving fund is our best bet. 1.1969 0.04189 127 106 17 4
1009 A darling, first step for our own little blindly obedient worker who'll sustain the capitalist framework. 1.1969 0.04748 127 110 9 8
1010 Honey, this will give him high expectations for the tooth fairy... 1.1967 0.03971 122 100 20 2
1011 It's never too early to start planning for our retirement. 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
1012 I figured since our last name is Roth and his first name will be Ira... 1.1966 0.04581 117 99 13 5
1013 They should learn early what’s worth reaching for. 1.1966 0.04581 117 99 13 5
1014 Allright, fine, but we're not naming him 'Barron. 1.1966 0.04247 117 97 17 3
1015 What? With all this inflation, it was cheaper to use money. 1.1966 0.04417 117 98 15 4
1016 Mar-a-Lago membership, here we come! 1.1964 0.05205 112 98 6 8
1017 It's never too early for mobile banking! 1.1961 0.03830 153 128 20 5
1018 It worked for Elon Musk's parents. 1.1959 0.04029 148 125 17 6
1019 She'll be worth every penny. 1.1958 0.03877 143 119 20 4
1020 He might as well learn that money, not love, pays the bills. 1.1958 0.03614 143 117 24 2
1021 I want him to be president one day! 1.1957 0.04583 138 120 9 9
1022 I want her to know how much she is truly loved. 1.1955 0.04586 133 115 10 8
1023 It's never too soon to introduce a child to the mobile economy. 1.1955 0.04586 133 115 10 8
1024 They say it’s the latest technology in mobile banking. 1.1955 0.04197 133 112 16 5
1025 What? It's gender neutral honey. 1.1953 0.04445 128 109 13 6
1026 Once he figures out his share of the rent, I’ll take it down. 1.1951 0.03942 123 101 20 2
1027 I want our son to be a US Senator. 1.1951 0.04420 123 104 14 5
1028 Are we sure this is this one? He’s already going to lose enough sleep in life because of money. 1.1951 0.04107 123 102 18 3
1029 I can hear her now : ‘I want my Moneee.’ 1.1951 0.04107 123 102 18 3
1030 It's the Fed's monetary model. Powell got backing for it on 'Shark Tank'. 1.1951 0.04137 164 142 12 10
1031 It's no star of Bethlehem, but we can't just ignore it. 1.1951 0.04107 123 102 18 3
1032 May he be blessed with a love of banking, mergers and acquisitions. 1.1949 0.04853 118 102 9 7
1033 It's not an "unattainable goal", it's a lofty ambition! 1.1949 0.04853 118 102 9 7
1034 Crib, $800. Capitalist mobile, $89. The prospect of long-term therapy: Priceless! 1.1948 0.04024 154 131 16 7
1035 Well, someone has to play Monopoly with me! 1.1947 0.04508 113 95 14 4
1036 Look it's the land of make-believe. 1.1947 0.04680 113 96 12 5
1037 It will give her something to reach for. 1.1947 0.04508 113 95 14 4
1038 So we agree Mrs. Buffet, we'll call him Warren 1.1946 0.04116 149 127 15 7
1039 We've started her college fund. 1.1944 0.04643 108 91 13 4
1040 It's called a Scrooge McDuckmobile 1.1944 0.03724 144 119 22 3
1041 Inspiration,baby! Inspiration. 1.1944 0.03852 144 120 20 4
1042 Yes, it's just as unreachable as the stars, but still... 1.1944 0.03852 144 120 20 4
1043 What? He needs to learn the value of money early." "It's a girl. 1.1938 0.04679 129 112 9 8
1044 It was a gift from the Trumps. 1.1938 0.04548 129 111 11 7
1045 Gotta start the manifestation process early 1.1938 0.03980 129 107 19 3
1046 Subliminal indoctrination is the best strategy for our retirement plan. 1.1938 0.04413 129 110 13 6
1047 You chose money over time???? 1.1938 0.04273 129 109 15 5
1048 You think money can't entertain! 1.1938 0.03825 129 106 21 2
1049 You can find anything on Amazon. 1.1935 0.04387 124 105 14 5
1050 Bernie Madoff? JP Morgan? Sam Bankman-Fried? I don’t know what do you think’s a good first name? 1.1935 0.04387 124 105 14 5
1051 It's nice that you want to make our little bundle of joy a titan of industry, but did you have to lay out $750 for this bit of inspiration? 1.1935 0.04387 124 105 14 5
1052 Give my boss some credit; he included a card. 1.1933 0.04509 119 101 13 5
1053 This way they’ll learn early how difficult it can be to reach 1.1931 0.03951 145 122 18 5
1054 Well, I HAD saved it for my man cave... 1.1930 0.04471 114 96 14 4
1055 He should get used to the fact that it will always be out of reach. 1.1930 0.04294 114 95 16 3
1056 I thought we should start with cash and leave derivatives until pre-school 1.1930 0.04642 114 97 12 5
1057 Mozart, Schmozart, we're going with this Mobile by Musk... 1.1929 0.04167 140 119 15 6
1058 I hate to mention this, but isn't this how Trump's parents started him off? 1.1926 0.04522 135 117 10 8
1059 Naturally, it makes the world go round. 1.1923 0.04243 130 110 15 5
1060 We should be hanging that over OUR bed considering what it costs for a good pre-school. 1.1921 0.04172 151 130 13 8
1061 The guy at the store said this would ease the pain of a lifetime of being imprisoned by capitalist pigs. 1.1920 0.04912 125 110 6 9
1062 As soon as she can reach the cash - we switch her to a day bed. 1.1920 0.04641 125 108 10 7
1063 This'll teach our baby that really big bucks are out of reach. 1.1920 0.04355 125 106 14 5
1064 Life lesson number one 1.1920 0.04500 125 107 12 6
1065 Right from the start, we'll teach him money is everything. Who needs moral values in this day and age? 1.1920 0.04355 125 106 14 5
1066 Where are the bunnies,chicks and kitties? 1.1920 0.04641 125 108 10 7
1067 Kids these days grow up without knowing the value of a dollar. 1.1920 0.03885 125 103 20 2
1068 God blesses U$A 1.1920 0.04641 125 108 10 7
1069 I call this our retirement plan. 1.1918 0.03804 146 122 20 4
1070 Let’s not provoke irrational exuberance 1.1918 0.03804 146 122 20 4
1071 She should learn early that money doesn’t grow on trees. 1.1918 0.03926 146 123 18 5
1072 Isn’t it fun! Found it on Etsy 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1073 It shrinks over time until the baby can't see their college fund. 1.1917 0.04628 120 103 11 6
1074 I call it, Follow The Money. 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1075 Ok - the baby gets it now but once he is out of this crib- it goes back over our bed! 1.1915 0.04016 141 119 17 5
1076 Babe, I think Elon is a great name! 1.1915 0.04378 141 122 11 8
1077 We could teach her to reach for the stars, but let's get real. 1.1913 0.04260 115 96 16 3
1078 Is that your idea of a ‘pay mobile’? 1.1913 0.04767 115 99 10 6
1079 If we start now it may sink in by the time he/she is a teenager. 1.1912 0.04111 136 115 16 5
1080 He's got to know that money makes his world go round. 1.1909 0.04184 110 91 17 2
1081 It’s Calder and some rudimentary Bidenomics. 1.1908 0.04071 131 110 17 4
1082 And, if it’s a girl, we can just subtract a few. 1.1908 0.04213 131 111 15 5
1083 It is fantasy 1.1905 0.03857 126 104 20 2
1084 By the time she graduates college, greed will be back in favor 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
1085 Capitalism rots but it also lulls. 1.1905 0.04173 126 106 16 4
1086 The American dream mobile 1.1905 0.04173 126 106 16 4
1087 This is going be our hedge fund baby 1.1901 0.04113 142 121 15 6
1088 Turn up the volume. It's never too early for our son to learn that money talks. 1.1901 0.03594 142 117 23 2
1089 I thought we agreed to raise him Republican! 1.1901 0.04593 121 104 11 6
1090 We here at Trump Nursery believe the key to early success is the Art of the Mobile 1.1901 0.04740 121 105 9 7
1091 It worked for Calder. 1.1898 0.04213 137 117 14 6
1092 If want want him to run for congress we’ve got to get him started him early. 1.1898 0.04083 137 116 16 5
1093 I'm glad we chose Milton as a first name. It has a nice flow to it. Milton Drysdale. 1.1898 0.04338 137 118 12 7
1094 It worked for the Trumps 1.1898 0.04460 137 119 10 8
1095 You said to get a toy that talks. 1.1897 0.04567 116 99 12 5
1096 I promise, it will pay for itself. 1.1897 0.04400 116 98 14 4
1097 Mom sent it. It was mine back in the 80's. They wanted me to value the important things in life. 1.1897 0.04400 116 98 14 4
1098 Are you sure we want to name him Marx? 1.1894 0.04580 132 115 9 8
1099 It's recommended for hand-pocket coordination. 1.1894 0.04451 132 114 11 7
1100 Room and board starts at conception. 1.1894 0.04451 132 114 11 7
1101 It's a thoughtful gift! You ARE naming our son Ebenezer. 1.1892 0.04107 148 127 14 7
1102 Never too early to dissuade him from choosing a career in music. 1.1890 0.04434 127 109 12 6
1103 You really think that this will help them grow up to be a Supreme Court Justice? 1.1890 0.03829 127 105 20 2
1104 It's to remind me how expensive they get when I do a bad job. 1.1890 0.04291 127 108 14 5
1105 This Bed’s too small for me” 1.1885 0.04407 122 104 13 5
1106 I'll put up the one with the unicorns when you go back to work. 1.1885 0.04407 122 104 13 5
1107 It'll hang over them eventually. 1.1885 0.04407 122 104 13 5
1108 It’s important to keep them all just out of reach 1.1885 0.04250 122 103 15 4
1109 This is Step 2 of my retirement plan. 1.1885 0.04088 122 102 17 3
1110 Financial literacy can never start too early. 1.1885 0.04558 122 105 11 6
1111 I wish I had known about inflation when I was his age. 1.1885 0.03918 122 101 19 2
1112 Starting early is the key to success 1.1885 0.03918 122 101 19 2
1113 Let him know early on that this will always be just beyond his reach. 1.1884 0.04309 138 119 12 7
1114 Let’s just hope nobody robs this cradle. 1.1880 0.04531 117 100 12 5
1115 The overhead covers the labor cost for our nest egg. 1.1880 0.04365 117 99 14 4
1116 Why not??? Bunnies and butterflies are so last year! 1.1880 0.04289 133 114 13 6
1117 If our son's name is going to be Rich, I want his crib to reflect that. 1.1880 0.04154 133 113 15 5
1118 It’s a “Trump mobile”, 1.1875 0.04307 112 94 15 3
1119 Ben Franklin if it’s a boy? Susan B. Anthony if it’s a girl? 1.1875 0.03683 144 120 21 3
1120 I call this the "upwardly mobile" juola@ku.edu 1.1875 0.04835 112 97 9 6
1121 Wharton recommends it. 1.1875 0.04490 112 95 13 4
1122 I'm hoping this kid will be more ambitious than our last. 1.1875 0.04116 112 93 17 2
1123 Instead of a silver spoon. 1.1875 0.03961 128 107 18 3
1124 It’s just a first step in his lifetime of supporting us. 1.1875 0.04307 112 94 15 3
1125 I think of it as a “get rich very, very slowly” scheme 1.1875 0.03813 144 121 19 4
1126 I have a lot of money riding on this. 1.1875 0.04307 112 94 15 3
1127 This is what makes the world go round. 1.1871 0.04156 139 119 14 6
1128 Let’s name him Donald 1.1870 0.04057 123 103 17 3
1129 Do we really want to inspire her to be capitalist, politician or supreme court justice? 1.1870 0.04218 123 104 15 4
1130 I tell you, Helen. This will teach the kid the value of mobiles. 1.1870 0.04373 123 105 13 5
1131 You can’t start too soon on our retirement plan. 1.1870 0.04373 123 105 13 5
1132 Honey, do you think we should raise the debt ceiling? 1.1870 0.04057 123 103 17 3
1133 Tere's no way I could have made this with Bitcoin. 1.1870 0.04057 123 103 17 3
1134 Made in USA. 1.1870 0.04523 123 106 11 6
1135 Do you think that will get him through his college years? 1.1866 0.03987 134 113 17 4
1136 I was thinking of using bitcoins, but they’re too unstable. 1.1866 0.03695 134 111 21 2
1137 She needs to learn that financial stability will always be just out of reach. 1.1864 0.04161 118 99 16 3
1138 It's never too early to expose our kid to what's really fun in life. 1.1864 0.04161 118 99 16 3
1139 I got it on Prime Day for a buck - what, you don't like it? 1.1864 0.04331 118 100 14 4
1140 Instead of a lullaby, it plays 'My money don't jiggle jiggle. it folds.' 1.1864 0.04654 118 102 10 6
1141 The only ones going into space anymore are billionaires, dear. 1.1864 0.04161 118 99 16 3
1142 Cherish every moment. It goes so fast. 1.1862 0.03913 145 123 17 5
1143 I don’t want our kid to go into teaching like we did. 1.1860 0.04229 129 110 14 5
1144 I prefer to think of it as an investment. 1.1860 0.04084 129 109 16 4
1145 Reality-based toys, Sandra! 1.1860 0.04229 129 110 14 5
1146 I hope it’s a capitalist! 1.1858 0.04272 113 95 15 3
1147 It was at this moment, listening to Jeff explain that fiat currency was a fantasy, that Sharon knew she wanted a divorce. 1.1858 0.04453 113 96 13 4
1148 Did you get the baby rattle that sounds like money in the bank. 1.1858 0.04272 113 95 15 3
1149 Trust me, this is the least expensive part of having a kid 1.1858 0.04083 113 94 17 2
1150 No more fancy toys! Time to start the college fund! 1.1858 0.04272 113 95 15 3
1151 Lil Butch aint gonna be no public toilet repair man like his daddy. 1.1855 0.04340 124 106 13 5
1152 Too bad this won't work in time to pay the hospital bill. 1.1855 0.04187 124 105 15 4
1153 I suppose some busybody will accuse us of being helicopter parents. 1.1855 0.04027 124 104 17 3
1154 Storks" and bonds 1.1855 0.04340 124 106 13 5
1155 ...And I have a slightly smaller one if it's a girl. 1.1855 0.04633 124 108 9 7
1156 I didn’t get it until last year! He’ll know from day one that money makes the world go ‘round. 1.1855 0.04489 124 107 11 6
1157 I got the idea from Nirvana. 1.1852 0.04770 108 93 10 5
1158 CEO training starts early! 1.1852 0.04585 108 92 12 4
1159 And he'll be able to pay off our student loans! 1.1852 0.04585 108 92 12 4
1160 I’m sure Twinkle Twinkle Little Star was very cute. And when you were a baby, Stanford’s acceptance rate was 19.3%. Things are different now. 1.1852 0.04585 108 92 12 4
1161 So that she can support us in our old age, that's why. 1.1849 0.04008 146 125 15 6
1162 Our son will grow up Republican, I’m sure of it. We still need to get him a gun, though. And could you hand me that crucifix? 1.1849 0.03952 119 99 18 2
1163 I thought this mobile would be more entertaining for the baby than the macroeconomics-oriented one. 1.1849 0.03952 119 99 18 2
1164 I call it 'Mobile Banking.' 1.1849 0.03952 119 99 18 2
1165 When I said put money on the mobile ... 1.1849 0.03574 119 97 22 0
1166 I'm thinking we name him 'Bill.' 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1167 A stork! I thought you said stock. 1.1846 0.04055 130 110 16 4
1168 Sally will understand early in her life that money doesn't grow on trees! 1.1846 0.03905 130 109 18 3
1169 So retro. Where's the ฿. 1.1844 0.03846 141 119 18 4
1170 Motivation and focus, that’s what she needs. 1.1844 0.04101 141 121 14 6
1171 What do you think of our new retirement plan? 1.1842 0.04417 114 97 13 4
1172 They promised it won't fall unless the market does. 1.1840 0.04455 125 108 11 6
1173 We aren't getting that beach house from fairies and unicorns. 1.1840 0.04308 125 107 13 5
1174 We’ll teach him that it comes, it goes. 1.1840 0.03997 125 105 17 3
1175 Mr. and Mrs Buffett Setting up Their Mobile for Little Warren. 1.1833 0.04097 120 101 16 3
1176 Think of it as nursing-home insurance 1.1833 0.04264 120 102 14 4
1177 How else are we supposed to provide upward mobility? 1.1833 0.03922 120 100 18 2
1178 The ironic part is that the mobile cost me $1000! 1.1833 0.04264 120 102 14 4
1179 We could sure use the money... 1.1833 0.03922 120 100 18 2
1180 Congratulations, it’s an annuity! 1.1833 0.04264 120 102 14 4
1181 I ran out of space in the mattress 1.1833 0.04581 120 104 10 6
1182 It's called visualization, babe. It's all the rage right now. 1.1832 0.03877 131 110 18 3
1183 But you can't see Bitcoin. 1.1832 0.03877 131 110 18 3
1184 Never too young for mobile banking. 1.1832 0.04026 131 111 16 4
1185 This way our baby will learn the American dream is always just out of reach. 1.1830 0.03760 153 130 18 5
1186 By the time she can reach it, it will be worthless. 1.1826 0.04204 115 97 15 3
1187 Now I realize the difference between worthless and priceless. 1.1826 0.04018 115 96 17 2
1188 I think it should be lower, so she can get a better feel for money 1.1826 0.04876 115 101 7 7
1189 Our kid will be looking after us some day. 1.1826 0.04018 115 96 17 2
1190 Because I want our baby to focus on her being our retirement plan. 1.1825 0.04422 126 109 11 6
1191 The other choices were rainbows and unicorns. Yeah, well this is real. If you're gonna reach for somethin', reach for somethin' real!! 1.1825 0.04422 126 109 11 6
1192 We're doing everything we can to make sure he'll be the next planet destroying uber-capitalist! 1.1825 0.03968 126 106 17 3
1193 The experts say it's never too early. It's not like I'm asking you to sleep in the crib. 1.1825 0.04125 126 107 15 4
1194 It’s just overhead consideration on a long term investment. 1.1825 0.04125 126 107 15 4
1195 What's wrong with the name Elon? 1.1825 0.04422 126 109 11 6
1196 I didn't want the traditional fairy tales 1.1825 0.04125 126 107 15 4
1197 It’s either this or photos of Ayn Rand. 1.1825 0.04299 137 119 11 7
1198 It must have cost a fortune. 1.1825 0.03622 137 114 21 2
1199 Warren Buffett says that financial literacy is foundational to effective parenting. 1.1818 0.03892 121 101 18 2
1200 The second step will be to start charging room and board as an incentive 1.1818 0.04066 121 102 16 3
1201 I just want to make sure she has the right focus from the start! 1.1818 0.04232 121 103 14 4
1202 But you said you wanted it out of reach. 1.1818 0.04695 121 106 8 7
1203 I'm hoping his first words will be, "I'll pay for that." 1.1818 0.04391 121 104 12 5
1204 Cashflow, the modern day fairytale. 1.1818 0.04391 121 104 12 5
1205 What? It's montessori 1.1818 0.03914 110 91 18 1
1206 Our baby's crib-to-currency! 1.1812 0.04144 138 119 13 6
1207 I would rather have a money tree so the money will grow with the baby. This spins around like the money we have now. 1.1811 0.03608 127 105 21 1
1208 What? His name is IRA. 1.1811 0.04390 127 110 11 6
1209 Mobile pay 1.1811 0.03940 127 107 17 3
1210 You know it’s always about the money ? 1.1810 0.04170 116 98 15 3
1211 How much rent should we charge for the last nine months ? 1.1810 0.04678 116 101 9 6
1212 That money was supposed to be for his college fund! 1.1810 0.03986 116 97 17 2
1213 His college tuition so we don’t spend it. 1.1810 0.04346 116 99 13 4
1214 I thought our money was flying out the window 1.1810 0.04346 116 99 13 4
1215 Who gives a shit? It's a baby, they don't know what money is. 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
1216 It's a DIY suggestion by Musk. 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
1217 It's aspirational. I'm hoping we'll have enough money to pay for pre-school when she's old enough. 1.1810 0.04645 105 90 11 4
1218 I want to make sure he's a Johnny Cash fan. 1.1805 0.03970 133 113 16 4
1219 I dream that one day he'll be on a Nirvana album cover!" 1.1803 0.04358 122 105 12 5
1220 ... but, it's for our retirement! 1.1803 0.04035 122 103 16 3
1221 It's an old tradition within the Trump family 1.1803 0.03684 122 101 20 1
1222 Let's get baby's values right -- from the get go 1.1803 0.04035 122 103 16 3
1223 Yes, it’s unstable, but it reflects our financial condition. 1.1803 0.04035 122 103 16 3
1224 When 'baby needs a new pair of shoes,' he can buy them himself. 1.1802 0.04283 111 94 14 3
1225 I also plan to name him Elon. 1.1802 0.04650 111 96 10 5
1226 Someone at the bank loaned it to me. 1.1802 0.04283 111 94 14 3
1227 Gotta start him early. 1.1802 0.04283 111 94 14 3
1228 Try to think of it as our college tuition plan. 1.1802 0.04470 111 95 12 4
1229 It's just until we start seeing some growth. 1.1799 0.03988 139 119 15 5
1230 Should we light it on fire or is that too on the nose? 1.1799 0.03988 139 119 15 5
1231 There! I replaced the Crypto Mobile . . . are you happy? 1.1797 0.03911 128 108 17 3
1232 I bought it in a garage sale. May the apple fall far from the tree. 1.1797 0.04065 128 109 15 4
1233 The IRS will unlikely check the baby’s room. 1.1797 0.04214 128 110 13 5
1234 The crib of Damocles. 1.1797 0.04214 128 110 13 5
1235 The prenatal psychologist said this should motivate it properly. 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1236 If you dream it,you can have it. 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1237 I want him to learn the illusion of attainability. 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1238 We forgot the Bitcoin 1.1795 0.03764 117 97 19 1
1239 Market capitalists are made not born. 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1240 If it instills the intended values, our future will be secure. 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1241 I still think it looked better over our bed 1.1795 0.04479 117 101 11 5
1242 So this is your way to plan for our retirement? 1.1792 0.04405 106 90 13 3
1243 Nursery rhymes are for losers…I want him learning stock symbols and day trading before he can walk. 1.1791 0.04218 134 116 12 6
1244 I hope the message isn't too abstract. 1.1789 0.04476 123 107 10 6
1245 Honey, all the books say to teach financial literacy early! 1.1789 0.03835 123 103 18 2
1246 Dream American, kid. 1.1789 0.04005 123 104 16 3
1247 It’s not just time that flies. 1.1789 0.04476 123 107 10 6
1248 I could have sworn you said fiduciary inspired not aviary 1.1789 0.03835 123 103 18 2
1249 They call it, 'babies first mobile wallet'. 1.1789 0.04168 123 105 14 4
1250 Look, the Marxist one was twice as expensive! 1.1789 0.04325 123 106 12 5
1251 Well, the Nirvana baby liked it. 1.1789 0.03835 123 103 18 2
1252 Penny is a fine name, but what about Goldie? 1.1786 0.04433 112 96 12 4
1253 Just a subtle reminder that he's starting his fourth trimester at a deficit. 1.1786 0.04433 112 96 12 4
1254 It's good to instill in them early the magic of compound interest. 1.1786 0.04054 112 94 16 2
1255 I see a future in mobile banking. 1.1783 0.04184 129 111 13 5
1256 I want him to get used to it being just out of reach. 1.1783 0.03883 129 109 17 3
1257 Let's name him Junior, Monopoly Jr. 1.1780 0.04759 118 104 7 7
1258 Subliminal guilt. 1.1780 0.04278 118 101 13 4
1259 Our kid is not going to grow up trading crypto! 1.1780 0.04278 118 101 13 4
1260 So we should put up a touchy feely mobile with stars and bunnies and then she ends up going to Sarah Lawrence and studying semiotics? Is that what you want? 1.1780 0.04604 118 103 9 6
1261 Just in case he carries your people-person gene 1.1780 0.04278 118 101 13 4
1262 Boy, girl, so long as they’re capitalist, I’m happy 1.1780 0.04278 118 101 13 4
1263 For a name, what do you think about Ebenezer? 1.1778 0.04188 135 117 12 6
1264 So the kid can finance our aging. 1.1774 0.03975 124 105 16 3
1265 admittedly a gift card would have been a bit more personal 1.1774 0.03975 124 105 16 3
1266 It'll help her learn to keep reaching for things she can never quite get. 1.1774 0.04292 124 107 12 5
1267 It's all about starting early with mobile banking. 1.1774 0.04136 124 106 14 4
1268 Maybe we can buy his silence. 1.1774 0.04136 124 106 14 4
1269 ' wait till you see under the mattress" 1.1770 0.04396 113 97 12 4
1270 And La La Land is not too far away.” 1.1770 0.04213 113 96 14 3
1271 The sooner he learns that money is always just out of reach, the better 1.1770 0.04396 113 97 12 4
1272 Of course it had BitCoin, but it just disappeared! 1.1770 0.04396 113 97 12 4
1273 How much did that thing cost? 1.1770 0.04213 113 96 14 3
1274 It's inspirational. Just imagine what our little Penny will be when she grows up. 1.1770 0.04021 113 95 16 2
1275 It’s better he hears it from us first. 1.1770 0.04021 113 95 16 2
1276 You said I should start some retirement planning. 1.1769 0.04564 130 115 7 8
1277 Ok well you tell me how to visually depict a cashless economy! 1.1769 0.04153 130 112 13 5
1278 I don't want our kid to have the impression that money grows on trees. 1.1765 0.04073 119 101 15 3
1279 An idea I got from Trump. 1.1765 0.04026 136 117 14 5
1280 Get me a bowl for lunch 1.1765 0.03894 119 100 17 2
1281 Your upper-crust family can't wait to meddle in our son's upbringing. 1.1765 0.04073 119 101 15 3
1282 Why don't your parents just put her in their will? 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
1283 Are we encouraging income or consumption ? 1.1765 0.04567 119 104 9 6
1284 If it's gonna be twins, they'll need two money bags to start saving for college! 1.1765 0.04073 119 101 15 3
1285 We need to have our child to early focus on what turns the word to go around" 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
1286 I'm still trying to reach it. 1.1759 0.03681 108 89 19 0
1287 I want her to realize how bags of money can just fly away a dollar at a time! 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
1288 And we'll name the boy Montgomery. Montgomery Burns. 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
1289 Planets, Riches, all that is stuff I want him to know is beyond his reach. 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
1290 It doubles as a college 529 plan. 1.1756 0.03979 131 112 15 4
1291 I am trying to steer him away from Crypto. 1.1756 0.03979 131 112 15 4
1292 Everybody sing, "Baby Your're A Rich Man" 1.1756 0.03979 131 112 15 4
1293 Perfect - it's multi-denominational. 1.1754 0.04360 114 98 12 4
1294 What's wrong? Too subtle? 1.1754 0.04703 114 100 8 6
1295 Early exposure is everything . . . 1.1754 0.03578 114 94 20 0
1296 Are you hinting that you want to name the baby “Cash”? 1.1754 0.04178 114 97 14 3
1297 I read about it in The New Yorker. 1.1754 0.04535 114 99 10 5
1298 It was a gift for joining the hedge fund. 1.1754 0.04178 114 97 14 3
1299 I think we oughta tighten it so it doesn’t trickle down 1.1754 0.04535 114 99 10 5
1300 This is her college debt 1.1754 0.03988 114 96 16 2
1301 I say we name him X؉Y≈$ 1.1750 0.04374 120 104 11 5
1302 Elon Musk’s piñata. 1.1750 0.04532 120 105 9 6
1303 I found something that appeals to both genders. 1.1750 0.03679 120 100 19 1
1304 Certainly $250,000 plus is a small price to pay for no sleep, no travel, no sanity for the next 18 years." 1.1750 0.04042 120 102 15 3
1305 It's guaranteed to interest the baby, I promise. 1.1750 0.04211 120 103 13 4
1306 How far away should it be so that he can enjoy the fantasy, but understand the reality. 1.1750 0.04042 120 102 15 3
1307 What happened to the crypto? 1.1743 0.04292 109 93 13 3
1308 What if it’s a girl? 1.1743 0.04486 109 94 11 4
1309 Wasn't sure how to do it in Venmo. 1.1743 0.04486 109 94 11 4
1310 We'll call her Nevermind. 1.1742 0.03802 132 112 17 3
1311 Our child needs to learn how to follow the money, honey. 1.1739 0.04498 115 100 10 5
1312 But what if it's twins? 1.1739 0.04498 115 100 10 5
1313 Recognize the tune? It’s from ‘The Apprentice!’ 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1314 I'm teaching him to have a high sense of self-worth 1.1736 0.04340 121 105 11 5
1315 Don't worry, it's only play money. 1.1736 0.04011 121 103 15 3
1316 I themed the mobile to go with the Monopoly board on the ceiling. You like it? 1.1736 0.03835 121 102 17 2
1317 Ah, but a baby’s reach should exceed their grasp, Or what’s capitalism for? 1.1736 0.04496 121 106 9 6
1318 It has a guaranteed high interest rate. 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
1319 I'm preparing for our money to fly out the window. 1.1735 0.04816 98 85 9 4
1320 The kid's gonna be a Supreme Court justice - I just know it! 1.1732 0.03888 127 108 16 3
1321 He aint gonna be no nepo baby! 1.1732 0.03888 127 108 16 3
1322 Just making sure we will be taken care of in retirement. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
1323 It’s so competitive out there. 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
1324 He''s going to be our retirement plan. 1.1731 0.04622 104 90 10 4
1325 Never too early to start them on mobile banking. 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
1326 I said we need to teach our child about MOBILE banking. 1.1731 0.04820 104 91 8 5
1327 It just said "Baby Stimulus Package" on the box. 1.1731 0.04820 104 91 8 5
1328 I thought we agreed he’d be a carpenter, not a banker. 1.1729 0.04337 133 117 9 7
1329 It's never too early . . . . 1.1727 0.04448 110 95 11 4
1330 And for a lullabye I’m putting ka-ching on a repeat loop. 1.1727 0.04448 110 95 11 4
1331 And my financial advisor said we should invest in futures 1.1727 0.04448 110 95 11 4
1332 I got it at CashCash B Gosh 1.1727 0.04631 110 96 9 5
1333 Boy or girl, it’s going to business school. 1.1727 0.04075 139 121 12 6
1334 He'll need to know it can all come crashing down anytime. 1.1724 0.03729 116 97 18 1
1335 I call it "the Wall Street Creche" 1.1724 0.04290 116 100 12 4
1336 I'm not sure this fits into our Marxist/ Neo-anarchist/ Post Structural themed baby room 1.1724 0.04626 116 102 8 6
1337 It's important she remembers that I'm her first seed investor. 1.1724 0.04461 116 101 10 5
1338 Spin it round, watch it go. Where it's spent nobody knows. 1.1724 0.03925 116 98 16 2
1339 It’s this or you start reading the Wall Street Journal out loud. 1.1722 0.03847 151 131 14 6
1340 The baby has to know that gravity is not what makes the world go round. 1.1721 0.03980 122 104 15 3
1341 Shall we name it Elon, or Jeff, or maybe Nicholas? 1.1721 0.04307 122 106 11 5
1342 We have to teach him to gamble with money from a young age. 1.1721 0.03806 122 103 17 2
1343 I prefer the name Warren rather then Jimmy 1.1721 0.04147 122 105 13 4
1344 Do you think it will work? 1.1721 0.03806 122 103 17 2
1345 So she never forgets the sacrifices we've made. 1.1719 0.04016 128 110 14 4
1346 And instead of music, he can listen to podcasts about cryptocurrency! 1.1719 0.04166 128 111 12 5
1347 What's more mobile than money? 1.1719 0.04166 128 111 12 5
1348 First the scholarship to Harvard. Then Wall Street. 1.1717 0.04982 99 87 7 5
1349 From now on, strictly cash on delivery! 1.1714 0.04376 105 90 12 3
1350 Well obviously it's aspirational! 1.1714 0.04581 105 91 10 4
1351 If it’s a boy, we’re gonna name him “Dollar BILL” 1.1714 0.03936 105 88 16 1
1352 C'mon, it's FUN-gible. 1.1714 0.04581 105 91 10 4
1353 OK right, now who’s the loser? 1.1714 0.04581 105 91 10 4
1354 That should go well with the EURO sheet set. 1.1712 0.04220 111 95 13 3
1355 Baby steps to trading crypto. 1.1712 0.03813 111 93 17 1
1356 The next thing we know, he'll be asking for a raise. 1.1712 0.04220 111 95 13 3
1357 They were sold out of the ‘Gluttony’ mobile. 1.1712 0.04410 111 96 11 4
1358 I wish my parents had started me this early." 1.1712 0.04220 111 95 13 3
1359 The Child's pronouns will be Dollar, Peso, Euro and Yuan. 1.1712 0.04592 111 97 9 5
1360 Told you the wealth trickles down 1.1712 0.04022 111 94 15 2
1361 It’s better than that Mozart stuff we’re doing! 1.1709 0.04256 117 101 12 4
1362 You can't spell hedge fund without 'fun!' 1.1709 0.03894 117 99 16 2
1363 Trust me, it’s out of reach. 1.1709 0.03894 117 99 16 2
1364 I just wanted them to get used to rotating payments early. 1.1707 0.04274 123 107 11 5
1365 What's this suppose to mean? 1.1707 0.04719 123 110 5 8
1366 Never too early to sign for mobile banking. 1.1707 0.04427 123 108 9 6
1367 It’s just out of reach 1.1705 0.04136 129 112 12 5
1368 This cartoon is not funny, because the cartoonist cannot draw. 1.1705 0.04280 129 113 10 6
1369 The idea is that they get used to financial success always being out of reach 1.1705 0.03832 129 110 16 3
1370 Never too early to be chasing’ the dream. 1.1704 0.03869 135 116 15 4
1371 If he's got time to whine then he has time to grind. 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
1372 You’ll see. The baby will be jumping in no time. 1.1700 0.04277 100 85 13 2
1373 I'm convinced that mine was the reason I wound up as a shepherd 1.1700 0.04726 100 87 9 4
1374 It's artsy. It's called Realism. 1.1700 0.04507 100 86 11 3
1375 Tomorrow is your C-note section. 1.1698 0.03902 106 89 16 1
1376 You said you wanted her to have a bling crib, right? 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
1377 I'll be the only thing that keeps him up at night. 1.1698 0.03902 106 89 16 1
1378 Instead of pink or blue baby clothes, I suggest green. 1.1696 0.04553 112 98 9 5
1379 Together with the daycare and pre-school on Wall Street, we should be set for life. 1.1696 0.04553 112 98 9 5
1380 Round and round she goes, where she stops only our loan officer knows. 1.1696 0.04185 112 96 13 3
1381 We need to start the campaign fund earlier than ever. 1.1696 0.04185 112 96 13 3
1382 It’s important our child know from day one how out of reach financial stability is. 1.1696 0.04373 112 97 11 4
1383 And it also comes with a podcast. 1.1696 0.04553 112 98 9 5
1384 Apparently, it talks. 1.1696 0.04373 112 97 11 4
1385 He'll learn how money moves. 1.1696 0.03781 112 94 17 1
1386 It’s convenient that the bank has started a baby registry. 1.1695 0.04047 118 101 14 3
1387 And I want his first words to be ‘I’m rich, biatch!’ 1.1695 0.04552 118 104 8 6
1388 We should teach her early that wealth is fleeting. 1.1695 0.04047 118 101 14 3
1389 Naming him Warrren /Elon will also help. 1.1695 0.04390 118 103 10 5
1390 The master bedroom mobile doesn't feel right for the nursery. 1.1695 0.03671 118 99 18 1
1391 First things first! The moral compass can wait! 1.1695 0.03864 118 100 16 2
1392 The private school admissions consultant said it would help 1.1695 0.04222 118 102 12 4
1393 My friend Elon suggested we do this. It seemed to work for him. 1.1694 0.03570 124 104 19 1
1394 Genius! Getting him or her off to an early start will guarantee a good retirement for us. 1.1694 0.04084 124 107 13 4
1395 I want to forever ingrain in him the cost of bringing him into this world. 1.1694 0.03921 124 106 15 3
1396 But you said make it unisex. 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
1397 This baby is going to know what the value of dollar means. 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
1398 And instead of bedsheets, our child will be given spreadsheets 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
1399 You’re the one who wanted to call him Rich! 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
1400 Assets mobilized. Now what? 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
1401 Have you tried unplugging it? 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
1402 It's called payback, and it starts on day one. 1.1682 0.04090 107 91 14 2
1403 Got it on sale. The newer models are all crypto." 1.1682 0.04500 107 93 10 4
1404 Where's ours? 1.1682 0.04090 107 91 14 2
1405 I picked this up at the estate sale of Sam Bankman-Fried’s parents. 1.1682 0.04500 107 93 10 4
1406 No, I said monkeys would be cute! 1.1682 0.04692 107 94 8 5
1407 We must teach them young that money will fly away quickly.” 1.1682 0.04300 107 92 12 3
1408 It is the Bernie Madoff musical crib. 1.1682 0.04090 107 91 14 2
1409 Nothing but the best for our baby Zelensky 1.1682 0.04500 107 93 10 4
1410 Some day he will be a member of congress 1.1681 0.04337 113 98 11 4
1411 It’s Barbie-themed. 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
1412 It’s from the new hedge fund collection. 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
1413 I am not attempting to influence our child; this is just a backup plan for our retirement in case he tries to live with us after college. 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1414 Well how else will he learn the meaning of life? 1.1681 0.04853 113 101 5 7
1415 It stimulates growth. 1.1681 0.04337 113 98 11 4
1416 Of course we'll want her to understand the circulation of currency. 1.1681 0.04516 113 99 9 5
1417 Or we could raise her in the woods and start a reality TV show, 'Growing Up Feral.' 1.1681 0.04015 119 102 14 3
1418 He's too young for crypto. Kids need boundaries. 1.1681 0.04015 119 102 14 3
1419 Runaway dollars and deflating money balloons – that should prevent any thought of being an English major." 1.1681 0.04356 119 104 10 5
1420 Don’t worry, it’s just transitory. 1.1681 0.04015 119 102 14 3
1421 This if for the Feng Shui Wealth Station. 1.1681 0.04015 119 102 14 3
1422 There, now every member of this family will have a financial burden. 1.1681 0.04516 119 105 8 6
1423 If it's a girl we'll add some glass. 1.1680 0.04210 125 109 11 5
1424 We 'll bring this child up with the right values from the very start 1.1679 0.03930 131 113 14 4
1425 All the baby books say it should be something that is pleasing to the baby’s senses, so I thought, ‘why not?’ 1.1679 0.03453 131 110 20 1
1426 It’s the baby’s preschool student loan debt hanging over her head.” 1.1667 0.04263 108 93 12 3
1427 I feel like the crypto one matched better... 1.1667 0.04461 108 94 10 4
1428 I've enrolled him in Trump University and theses are payoff for his hookers and fixers. 1.1667 0.04188 132 116 10 6
1429 We promised to be honest when we agreed to have children. 1.1667 0.03835 108 91 16 1
1430 Well, when SHOULD she start planning for retirement? 1.1667 0.03961 102 86 15 1
1431 IT WORKED FOR LITTLE BESO! 1.1667 0.03924 114 97 15 2
1432 She should get used to having money just out of reach. 1.1667 0.04117 114 98 13 3
1433 Our child will be independent, and she'll buy her own happiness. 1.1667 0.04461 108 94 10 4
1434 This should introduce them to capitalism at a young age. 1.1667 0.04478 114 100 9 5
1435 Harvard Business School, here we come! 1.1667 0.05270 96 86 4 6
1436 This is what Trump did… 1.1667 0.04117 114 98 13 3
1437 Well I think its sending the wrong message, the world revolves around money, not the other way around. 1.1667 0.04648 114 101 7 6
1438 They discontinued our pension plan. I figure she's our best hope. 1.1667 0.04837 96 84 8 4
1439 You got to train them to chase the dream early. 1.1667 0.03984 120 103 14 3
1440 Down will come baby, savings and all. 1.1667 0.04263 108 93 12 3
1441 It’s a cash stimulus. 1.1667 0.03616 120 101 18 1
1442 Adjust the height so it's just out of reach. 1.1667 0.04424 102 88 11 3
1443 She needs to grasp the high cost of living. 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
1444 Since our new baby will be costing us more than our house, I thought this mobile would be appropriate. 1.1667 0.03817 144 125 14 5
1445 We need to make sure she has good moral values. 1.1667 0.04424 102 88 11 3
1446 She'll get a pole when she's out of the crib. No need to rush. 1.1667 0.03984 120 103 14 3
1447 We need her to start thinking about how to plan for our future. 1.1667 0.04117 114 98 13 3
1448 This way he won't be surprised when he sees his first student loan bill. 1.1654 0.03834 127 109 15 3
1449 You said to bring mobile payment!” 1.1653 0.03953 121 104 14 3
1450 No silver spoons were available. 1.1653 0.03953 121 104 14 3
1451 Let's be optimistic. No foreign currency. 1.1653 0.03953 121 104 14 3
1452 Our child will learn the facts of life as soon as they open their eyes. 1.1653 0.04124 121 105 12 4
1453 Notice how easy it is to reach when the crib is empty? 1.1653 0.03953 121 104 14 3
1454 Figured we'd give him a head start on student loan debt. 1.1653 0.03953 121 104 14 3
1455 He'll still be behind the kids who got the prenatal financial planning course... 1.1652 0.04441 115 101 9 5
1456 I saw this on Shark Tank 1.1652 0.04266 115 100 11 4
1457 Does it play music 1.1652 0.03892 115 98 15 2
1458 Good idea, let's replace them with crypto 1.1652 0.04083 115 99 13 3
1459 What if we have an environmentalist. 1.1652 0.04083 115 99 13 3
1460 If you don't like the dollars theme, it also comes in euros and yuans. 1.1652 0.03892 115 98 15 2
1461 And let’s skip all the silly nursery rhymes too! 1.1651 0.04226 109 94 12 3
1462 This is much better than wasting our money on a 401(k). 1.1651 0.04020 109 93 14 2
1463 I don't want him to think financial wealth is within reach. 1.1651 0.04226 109 94 12 3
1464 With the right stimulation, she might be out of here in 18 years. 1.1651 0.04020 109 93 14 2
1465 The sooner he learns about student debt the better. 1.1651 0.04226 109 94 12 3
1466 Sweetie, I thought we decided we would raise the baby to be a realist. 1.1651 0.03803 109 92 16 1
1467 - Green is the new Black and White 1.1651 0.03803 109 92 16 1
1468 You and that pack of socialists you come from will just have to bite it! 1.1650 0.03926 103 87 15 1
1469 They should be able to pay off their 'elevation' debt in 21 years. 1.1650 0.03676 103 86 17 0
1470 The livestream of the birth should bring in $20 thousand or so. 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
1471 They're never too young to learn that money makes the world go round! 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
1472 I figure this will lead to careers in finance or politics. 1.1650 0.04596 103 90 9 4
1473 Is our adorable retirement plan kicking? 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
1474 You're the one who wants to name him Cash! 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
1475 It's the trust fund your parents set up. 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
1476 It's cheaper than paying her way through an MBA program. 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
1477 I really don’t think gold bullion would’ve been too heavy 1.1641 0.03807 128 110 15 3
1478 I figure this will give our little Johnny Dillinger a positive vision of success for when he grows up. 1.1639 0.04255 122 107 10 5
1479 We have to get them used to the real world early in life. 1.1639 0.04092 122 106 12 4
1480 Do you think our child will think the world revolves arond money though? 1.1639 0.03747 122 104 16 2
1481 What the hell happened to the butterflies? 1.1639 0.03923 122 105 14 3
1482 This one’s best for raising entrepreneurial babies who will have you set for life in a couple decades.” 1.1638 0.03861 116 99 15 2
1483 condoms next time 1.1638 0.04232 116 101 11 4
1484 The sooner it learns the value of money, the sooner we get a return on our investment. 1.1638 0.04232 116 101 11 4
1485 What you see is what you get 1.1638 0.04232 116 101 11 4
1486 We want Baby Donald to have the right values. 1.1638 0.04232 116 101 11 4
1487 Think of this as our retirement fund. 1.1636 0.03986 110 94 14 2
1488 You were right, hon. Mobile banking's a doddle to set up. 1.1636 0.03771 110 93 16 1
1489 What...No Bitcoins? 1.1636 0.04385 110 96 10 4
1490 Let’s hope this is inspiration for a hedge fund baby. 1.1636 0.04385 110 96 10 4
1491 Her college fund may be small, but it's well balanced. 1.1636 0.04190 110 95 12 3
1492 It plays “We’re In The Money” as it rotates. 1.1636 0.04571 110 97 8 5
1493 Remember, dear, two years ago, we put this up for little Bitcoin! 1.1636 0.03986 110 94 14 2
1494 Say goodbye to our little nest egg! 1.1636 0.04385 110 96 10 4
1495 No, it's all wrong--replace it with a mockingbird, and if it doesn't sing, try a diamond ring. 1.1636 0.03986 110 94 14 2
1496 This is more important; colorful, cutesy things can wait. 1.1636 0.04385 110 96 10 4
1497 It’s just twinkle-down economics. Nothing controversial here. 1.1636 0.04385 110 96 10 4
1498 I said bassinet john; not manifest. 1.1636 0.04385 110 96 10 4
1499 As soon as those eyes open, they'll be on the prize. 1.1635 0.04555 104 91 9 4
1500 Baby Elon will love it. 1.1635 0.04755 104 92 7 5
1501 You Wanted to name him Elon! 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
1502 It's from our financial advisor. 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
1503 I'm glad Elon Musk wrote that parenting guide! 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
1504 I believe it was Elizabeth Taylor in Butterfield Eight, who said, "Start 'em young, bring 'em up right." 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
1505 That's not what I meant by something they will not grow out of! 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
1506 The rainbow and unicorns one felt too realistic 1.1635 0.03891 104 88 15 1
1507 It's never too early to stress the importance of upward mobility. 1.1635 0.04755 104 92 7 5
1508 I thought it might help jump start your labor. 1.1635 0.04555 104 91 9 4
1509 I had a feeling we might have overpaid the interior decorator. 1.1633 0.05168 98 88 4 6
1510 I don’t understand why you think I’m obsessed about money. 1.1633 0.04516 98 85 10 3
1511 It’s never too early to teach them about the birds and the bills. 1.1633 0.04516 98 85 10 3
1512 Gold bars were just too heavy. 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
1513 We'll be talking interest rates by the time he's two. 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
1514 I put my life savings into this, is it really too much to ask that you contribute in some way 1.1630 0.04955 92 81 7 4
1515 One can dream. 1.1626 0.03718 123 105 16 2
1516 A lifetime of overhead. 1.1626 0.04061 123 107 12 4
1517 It's never too early to get fixated on and stressed out about money. 1.1626 0.04061 123 107 12 4
1518 I respect the fact that your mother is Janet Yellen but this is where I draw the line!" 1.1624 0.03831 117 100 15 2
1519 I guess I don’t have to ask how much that cost. 1.1624 0.04198 117 102 11 4
1520 I couldn’t find a crypto mobile 1.1624 0.04018 117 101 13 3
1521 Once we start our TikTok posts in the delivery room, we'll have angel investors and investment banks on our side 1.1624 0.04198 117 102 11 4
1522 It is never too early for her to be thinking about paying for our retirement. 1.1624 0.04018 117 101 13 3
1523 Come on honey, it practically pays for itself. 1.1624 0.04198 117 102 11 4
1524 You want a doctor in the family or not? 1.1624 0.04018 117 101 13 3
1525 Listen, I was gonna get the Alexander Calder but turns out this was cheaper. 1.1624 0.04018 117 101 13 3
1526 Given my first choices were condoms and AR 15s, I would think you would be thrilled. 1.1622 0.04532 111 98 8 5
1527 This will help ensure our child grows up to be a true American. 1.1622 0.04348 111 97 10 4
1528 This gift from our broker's quite over the top. 1.1622 0.04155 111 96 12 3
1529 Maybe he’ll go for the big bucks 1.1622 0.04348 111 97 10 4
1530 I don't want a poet or artist. Someone's gotta take care of us in 50 years. 1.1622 0.04348 111 97 10 4
1531 I thought I told you no more hand-me-downs from your economist sister. 1.1622 0.04348 111 97 10 4
1532 This way we get annual growth plus interest. 1.1622 0.04532 111 98 8 5
1533 Any time he screams, it showers him with money. 1.1622 0.04348 111 97 10 4
1534 It was either this or handguns. 1.1622 0.04348 111 97 10 4
1535 He'll know what to reach for in the future. 1.1619 0.04088 105 90 13 2
1536 I told your mother we wanted the CryptoCrib Mobile, not this outdated thing! 1.1619 0.04306 105 91 11 3
1537 Never too early, I say. 1.1619 0.04088 105 90 13 2
1538 It'll be the kids first mobile money app! 1.1619 0.04306 105 91 11 3
1539 Book Deals, Speaking Fees, Gifts and Stock Gains…she will be a Senator in no time. 1.1618 0.04204 136 121 8 7
1540 I got it at Donald Trump's yard sale" 1.1616 0.04698 99 87 8 4
1541 I get free mobile banking. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
1542 Crib currency. 1.1616 0.04913 99 88 6 5
1543 Is this your idea of upwardly mobile?" 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
1544 Oh, he'll get the point: hello baby, buh-bye money. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
1545 Dammit, I said fungible, not mobile! 1.1616 0.04913 99 88 6 5
1546 Wait, why do we have to give her my mobile? 1.1616 0.03986 99 84 14 1
1547 I cannot believe you want our son to be a Republican 1.1615 0.04057 130 114 11 5
1548 This is way better than the stock ticker your dad got us. 1.1613 0.03835 93 78 15 0
1549 Hey, it worked for the Trumps, it can work for us! 1.1613 0.04660 93 81 9 3
1550 Never too soon for financial literacy! 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
1551 Fine, you win. I'll stop referring to the birth as a liquidity event. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
1552 What do you mean? I thought we agreed to a ‘rock-a-buy’ baby theme for the nursery! 1.1613 0.03864 124 107 14 3
1553 We are naming him "Cash," after all! 1.1610 0.04499 118 105 7 6
1554 OK, so it didn't work for me. I get it. I'm a loser. Your parents pay for everything. I'm surprised you married me. Is there anything else you want to say? 1.1610 0.04499 118 105 7 6
1555 Christ, what an asshole! 1.1610 0.04499 118 105 7 6
1556 You say, 'Upwardly mobile,' like it's a bad thing. 1.1610 0.04499 118 105 7 6
1557 But, what if she's a socialist?? 1.1610 0.04164 118 103 11 4
1558 Got to start ‘em young with fundamental conservative values honey! 1.1610 0.04335 118 104 9 5
1559 It’s your college fund honey…all our savings flying away 1.1610 0.03800 118 101 15 2
1560 You didn't believe me but I told you ... DIY is always the cheaper option. 1.1610 0.03986 118 102 13 3
1561 They told me this one was America themed. 1.1610 0.03800 118 101 15 2
1562 What we’re you expecting? 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1563 Hon, this mobile just isn’t a good look for a baby shower.” 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1564 And every night we play tapes of Jim Cramer screaming out stock tips. 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1565 Never mind 'Nevermind'! 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1566 It’s to encourage correct educational, occupational, and lifestyle choices. 1.1607 0.04494 112 99 8 5
1567 Is this too passive agressive? 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1568 Someone's gotta pay for our retirement! 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1569 That’s what I call mobile currency. 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1570 By the time the child is 6 months money won't mean a thing. 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
1571 Should I call it a Bank-seize Original or Crib Notes? 1.1604 0.04474 106 93 9 4
1572 I want to see complete indifference to money, ultimately, like it works with farm animals. 1.1604 0.04474 106 93 9 4
1573 Well, I did tell your mom and dad to send money for the baby shower. 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
1574 Now we'll both be in labor for a long time. 1.1604 0.04474 106 93 9 4
1575 If she becomes a hedge fund manager, maybe she can support us in retirement. 1.1604 0.03824 106 90 15 1
1576 I thought it was just a typo when I read "Money Go Round Mobile" on the box... 1.1604 0.03824 106 90 15 1
1577 If everything goes to plan, they’ll be supporting us before their 10th birthday. 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
1578 It’s not a plaything ! 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
1579 This way she'll learn early that money will be unattainable. 1.1603 0.04028 131 115 11 5
1580 I don't want our money to be liquid, I want it to be mobile. 1.1600 0.04866 100 89 6 5
1581 Darling, He gets to see our view of Heaven. 1.1600 0.03685 100 84 16 0
1582 Nothing but the best for our baby! It's an upwardly mobile,mobile. 1.1600 0.03835 125 108 14 3
1583 Don’t worry, it’s inflatable. 1.1600 0.04431 100 87 10 3
1584 I just figured I'd cut out the middle man and get straight to the point. 1.1597 0.04131 119 104 11 4
1585 You can’t start too early! 1.1597 0.04131 119 104 11 4
1586 I don't see what's so convenient about mobile banking. 1.1597 0.04131 119 104 11 4
1587 It’s an investment in our retirement plan. 1.1597 0.03771 119 102 15 2
1588 And when they become rich....just think... we will be able to get our noses fixed 1.1596 0.04855 94 83 7 4
1589 Our babies first word will be money, money not mommy. 1.1593 0.04086 113 98 12 3
1590 Forget mama, dada. I'm going for moolah, moolah, moolah. 1.1593 0.04086 113 98 12 3
1591 The earlier the better ! 1.1593 0.04086 113 98 12 3
1592 As long as one of them works he'll be OK 1.1593 0.03888 113 97 14 2
1593 It’s cheaper than the one made from revolving credit. 1.1593 0.04456 113 100 8 5
1594 At least it’s an ethos. 1.1589 0.04231 107 93 11 3
1595 Our nest egg is in jeopardy. 1.1589 0.03551 107 90 17 0
1596 It reminds me just how much this kid is going to cost. 1.1589 0.04017 107 92 13 2
1597 Enough with the teddy bears, already. I think the nursery theme should be "bullish". 1.1589 0.04231 107 93 11 3
1598 It's never too soon to follow the money. 1.1589 0.04231 107 93 11 3
1599 We're Trumps; what would you expect for a mobile? 1.1589 0.04434 107 94 9 4
1600 He may want to keep an eye on his college fund. 1.1589 0.03791 107 91 15 1
1601 I want it to serve as a reminder of the rescheduled trip to Greece. 1.1584 0.04390 101 88 10 3
1602 This will be a good start on the main theory of capitalism. 1.1584 0.04820 101 90 6 5
1603 It's a guaranteed cash grab 1.1584 0.04390 101 88 10 3
1604 I don't believe this encourages a balanced portfolio. 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
1605 The college tuition is up in the air right now. 1.1584 0.04390 101 88 10 3
1606 How would that teach our kid that money does not grow on trees? 1.1584 0.04390 101 88 10 3
1607 I think she should be learning about mobile banking as early as possible. 1.1584 0.04820 101 90 6 5
1608 Uncle Scrooge’s way of welcoming our tiny Tim into the world? 1.1584 0.04820 101 90 6 5
1609 Moral instruction cannot begin too early. 1.1584 0.03913 101 86 14 1
1610 Our baby needs to learn at a young age that it is money that makes the world go round. 1.1584 0.03913 101 86 14 1
1611 What? They’re my favorite fairytale creatures! 1.1584 0.04610 101 89 8 4
1612 I'm just getting him ready for disappointment. 1.1583 0.03924 120 104 13 3
1613 I want this kid to be Rich. 1.1583 0.04266 120 106 9 5
1614 He's gotta know what to hope for is this world, right? 1.1583 0.03742 120 103 15 2
1615 Frolicking bunnies don’t pay the bills, Martha. 1.1583 0.03924 120 104 13 3
1616 I thought we could call the baby "Goldman Sachs." 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
1617 We can hold off on Tinkerbell and butterflies. Let's teach Baby that Daddy and Mommy's money is what really flies away. 1.1579 0.04053 114 99 12 3
1618 I don’t think the baby will appreciate your Dad’s reference to the high cost of living. 1.1579 0.04053 114 99 12 3
1619 Mozart was a total loser. 1.1579 0.04240 114 100 10 4
1620 Do you know what college tuition’s going to cost in 18 years? 1.1579 0.03856 114 98 14 2
1621 Rosemary, nothing to worry about. 1.1579 0.04053 114 99 12 3
1622 To play it safe, lets add Bitcoin. 1.1579 0.03650 114 97 16 1
1623 Mobile finance is heavenly. 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
1624 Just think of it, honey... our very own living, breathing IRA! 1.1579 0.04053 114 99 12 3
1625 Of course it’s educational. She’ll never reach wealth in adulthood. 1.1574 0.03982 108 93 13 2
1626 I hear rich babies don't cry! 1.1574 0.04395 108 95 9 4
1627 I'm worried about a labor strike. 1.1574 0.04588 108 96 7 5
1628 The Show Me the Money Crib Mobile teaches babies how to value money before they can even crawl. 1.1574 0.03982 108 93 13 2
1629 Elon? 1.1574 0.04395 108 95 9 4
1630 I want her to be an investment banker 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
1631 It's never to early to motivate them. 1.1570 0.03523 121 103 17 1
1632 It’s a win win - baby enjoys the pretty mobile and learns what makes it go round 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
1633 Shall we name him Bill, or Buck? 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
1634 Do you think our parents will get the hint? 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
1635 Prenatal helicopter parenting 1.1569 0.04567 102 90 8 4
1636 This should distract them for the next 80 years 1.1569 0.04567 102 90 8 4
1637 He has to believe in something 1.1565 0.03825 115 99 14 2
1638 Who names a baby Rich? 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
1639 You’ve heard of counting sheep… 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
1640 Being fixated on money is just going to make our baby a miserable person, Karen! 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
1641 never too young to see what makes the world go around 1.1560 0.04357 109 96 9 4
1642 This will teach her mobile banking 1.1560 0.04158 109 95 11 3
1643 And when he cries we’ll know the market is going down. 1.1560 0.04357 109 96 9 4
1644 In hopes that someday he’ll balance the budget. 1.1560 0.04158 109 95 11 3
1645 I always sleep better knowing we have some. 1.1560 0.04158 109 95 11 3
1646 OK, but the Wagner accompanymint is a bit over the top. 1.1557 0.04200 122 108 9 5
1647 Never too soon to plan our child’s capitalist education. 1.1557 0.03864 122 106 13 3
1648 How else are we supposed to raise an influencer? 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
1649 It's aspirational... 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
1650 I didn't hear it as improving his spatial reasoning. I thought you said you want him to be a greedy capitalist bastard. 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
1651 I think it's trickling down from the economist upstairs. 1.1553 0.03843 103 88 14 1
1652 The sooner it learns money is out of reach, the better. 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
1653 If you insist on naming him Ebenezer, let’s start him off right. 1.1553 0.04310 103 90 10 3
1654 May both the baby and our upward mobility rest in peace.” 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
1655 It’s a free gift from something called The Federalist Society. 1.1553 0.04310 103 90 10 3
1656 I also got Warren Buffet to do the voice-over for Rock-a-bye Baby." 1.1552 0.03794 116 100 14 2
1657 Maybe the JP. Morgan baby Mobile isn't the best choice. 1.1552 0.04171 116 102 10 4
1658 A penny for your thoughts, Honey. 1.1552 0.03987 116 101 12 3
1659 My artful expression of our new money pit honey. 1.1552 0.04171 116 102 10 4
1660 This is too Donald Trumpish. Let’s rethink the nursery decor. 1.1552 0.03987 116 101 12 3
1661 It’s to remind us of all the other things we could have done. 1.1552 0.04171 116 102 10 4
1662 I don't think we should tell him that this is his entire inheritance 1.1552 0.04171 116 102 10 4
1663 In keeping with our go-fund-me approach to parenting....that's why.... 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
1664 Oh, Honey! You know capitalism starts in the womb. 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
1665 Our kid will become either a stock broker or a shopaholic. 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
1666 I'll hang the financial burden of parenthood over our baby’s head if I want to! 1.1546 0.04713 97 86 7 4
1667 Counting sheep is for herders. 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
1668 This baby is our only shot at retirement. 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1669 And let's name him Richie. 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1670 Because, just like me, he'll have to learn early how to work for it. 1.1545 0.04320 110 97 9 4
1671 It worked for Jeff Bezos! 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1672 Just remember that they'll be our little tax deduction!" 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
1673 I want to ingrain early about hefty mobile costs. 1.1545 0.04509 110 98 7 5
1674 This money mobile will give him an incentive to stand earlier. 1.1538 0.03955 117 102 12 3
1675 You don't want the baby to think it grows on trees do you? 1.1538 0.04137 117 103 10 4
1676 That's not what I meant by balancing the budget. 1.1538 0.03855 130 114 12 4
1677 This is the same model that Jamie Dimon's parents used." 1.1538 0.04484 104 92 8 4
1678 It's never too early to start teaching them about the value of money, honey. 1.1538 0.03809 104 89 14 1
1679 This should be the inspiration for him to grow up and be able to take care of us in our old age 1.1538 0.03809 104 89 14 1
1680 It’s the latest in boutique cribware from Upwardly Mobiles. 1.1538 0.04271 104 91 10 3
1681 See this way, he’ll learn that money DOESN’T grow on trees. 1.1538 0.03764 117 101 14 2
1682 Hold on now I am not sayin it's bad, I just want to know why you made such a payment without talking to me first. 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
1683 I believe this one's by Calder-Bankwell 1.1538 0.04479 117 105 6 6
1684 If the baby can grab the cash, it's theirs. 1.1538 0.04137 117 103 10 4
1685 Early training 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
1686 INSpirational? Oh, I thought you said ASpirational. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
1687 He needs to learn to keep an eye on his investments. 1.1538 0.03697 130 113 14 3
1688 Did I hang it high enough? 1.1538 0.03809 104 89 14 1
1689 Eye on the prize, honey. Eye on the prize. 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
1690 "Better add some pie-in-the-sky and a spare-change cup." 1.1532 0.03665 111 95 15 1
1691 Our financial advisor suggested this as the best way to afford tuition. 1.1532 0.04087 111 97 11 3
1692 It's part of the "Buffett Collection" on Etsy. 1.1532 0.04650 111 100 5 6
1693 Honestly, honey, I don’t know why I installed this money crib thing. I don’t understand it. If you can think of something legitimately funny for me to say about this, then you’re some kind of goddamn genius... Oh, and I know the baby isn’t mine. 1.1532 0.04283 111 98 9 4
1694 He has to handle his own tuition. 1.1532 0.04283 111 98 9 4
1695 Frankly, I’m a little disappointed he hasn’t founded a tech company yet. 1.1532 0.04283 111 98 9 4
1696 It makes me feel better about the vasectomy. 1.1532 0.03665 111 95 15 1
1697 I want him to learn early on that success will always be out of reach. 1.1532 0.04283 111 98 9 4
1698 Well don't blame me when our baby only ends up a millionaire 1.1532 0.03882 111 96 13 2
1699 Your father's nursery gift reeks subliminally of Upper Mobility. 1.1531 0.04436 98 86 9 3
1700 I swear, honey, this is how they make babies in the stork market." 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
1701 Trust me, it's the only toy she needs to play with." "Yes, that's wonderful dear but did you install the Hollywood Elite alarm on the baby monitor?" "The pedo-protector is up and operational!" "And child sacrifice safety feature?" "Baal horn is on! 1.1531 0.04887 98 88 5 5
1702 It's never too early to start learning the value of a dollar! 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
1703 Never to soon to teach her that financial security will always be just out of reach. 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
1704 Margot contemplated cutting Bob out of the equation as he mansplained supply chain efficiency. 1.1531 0.04667 98 87 7 4
1705 Look, I was on my way to Skip’s to buy a bag of scratchers, when it struck me—this little rig over the crib is the responsible way to invest in all our futures! 1.1531 0.04436 98 86 9 3
1706 I just want her to be prepared, that's all. 1.1531 0.04667 98 87 7 4
1707 This will teach the baby a valuable life lesson. If you don't keep your eyes on it cash flies away. 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
1708 Sweet schemes, sweetheart. 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
1709 Not to mention the emotional investment. 1.1525 0.03734 118 102 14 2
1710 Maybe we could grow old and be happy with a wealthy and supporting child 1.1525 0.03924 118 103 12 3
1711 It's been in the McTightass house for generations. 1.1524 0.04444 105 93 8 4
1712 Our child must be upwardly mobile. 1.1524 0.03775 105 90 14 1
1713 What she learns to focus on now determines her whole future. 1.1524 0.03775 105 90 14 1
1714 What you learn from the crib will rest the whole of your life: money is the master, unfortunately. 1.1524 0.04010 105 91 12 2
1715 “That’s for if it’s a girl!” 1.1524 0.04232 105 92 10 3
1716 Shitheads aren't born; they're made. 1.1524 0.04645 105 94 6 5
1717 It’s never too early to learn that you can reach all you want, but you’ll never earn a decent living. 1.1522 0.04872 92 82 6 4
1718 How would you feel about naming him . . . Elon? 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
1719 Yachts don't just pay for themselves, Janet. 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
1720 An artist, you say? Let’s compromise & shoot for a financially successful artist. 1.1522 0.03765 92 78 14 0
1721 You’d better hope we don’t get any cradle robbers 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
1722 Sorry, I thought you said 'money makes the merry-go-round' 1.1518 0.03849 112 97 13 2
1723 It’s called My First Cubicle. 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
1724 Now what am I going to hang on my rear-view mirror? 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
1725 I'm just trying to set expectations. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
1726 It's not inflatable. 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
1727 Growing up we can always change it to smoke and mirrors. 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
1728 We’re still going to need a college fund. 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
1729 Never too soon for her thinking about supporting us in our old age. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
1730 You can have the second baby--this one is going to support me in my old age 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
1731 we got to teach him early, capitalism is everything to this family 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
1732 Of course this is just a prototype. We'll have to watch the markets. 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
1733 This was cheaper than what you wanted. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
1734 Which stock index do you want for the wallpaper, honey? 1.1515 0.03896 99 85 13 1
1735 He’s not gonna be a businessman, he’s gonna be a business, man.” 1.1512 0.04827 86 76 7 3
1736 This is what Elon Musk's parents did to him!!! 1.1512 0.04827 86 76 7 3
1737 Cash is king, baby! 1.1509 0.04195 106 93 10 3
1738 WELL!! This is much better than stars & moons 1.1509 0.04195 106 93 10 3
1739 Quit complaining! Our child needs to learn the real facts of life. 1.1509 0.03975 106 92 12 2
1740 I’m lnot sure having bills hanging over her head is the right message. 1.1509 0.03742 106 91 14 1
1741 I found it at an estate sale on 57th Street 1.1509 0.04195 106 93 10 3
1742 He was never going to be an Airline Pilot anyway. 1.1509 0.03742 106 91 14 1
1743 If she really likes it, we’ll market it! 1.1509 0.04195 106 93 10 3
1744 Since we can't decide on a name, let's just call him X. 1.1509 0.04195 106 93 10 3
1745 So then… what did I deposit? 1.1509 0.03975 106 92 12 2
1746 Early Motivation… 1.1509 0.03975 106 92 12 2
1747 And it makes a jingling sound like loose change. 1.1505 0.04573 93 82 8 3
1748 The guilt starts early. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
1749 Trickle-down economics is real, Linda, and it's never too soon to learn about it! 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
1750 What's wrong with an upwardly-mobile mobile? 1.1505 0.04573 93 82 8 3
1751 Well, it does make the world go round. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
1752 He shall know his parents' passion right from the start. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
1753 No, no, no. Wings on the money means he will pay his bills! That is the wrong message! 1.1504 0.04395 113 101 7 5
1754 Look. It's self-driving. 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
1755 This will help instill our child with American values. 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
1756 What? No crypto Euros? 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
1757 Might just as well learn it now. 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
1758 Hear me out, this way he will be destined to be a future finance bro! 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
1759 It's important to highlight the medium of exchange. 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
1760 Triplets? 1.1500 0.03862 120 105 12 3
1761 It is never too early to instill the need for scholarships. 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
1762 It’s never too early to start a career in economics. 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
1763 Is this their idea of a new cash and carry plan? 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
1764 We'll call him Donald III. 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
1765 It will be good practice for watching money fly away. 1.1500 0.04578 100 89 7 4
1766 As a child thinketh",Gwendolyn,"as a child thinketh" 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
1767 If he doesn't learn about financial mobile-ity now when will he learn?! 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
1768 …and the bars on the crib will come in handy too! 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
1769 What do you think? This or your old Barbie collection? 1.1495 0.04562 107 96 6 5
1770 I'm grooming her to think, state college. 1.1495 0.04158 107 94 10 3
1771 Rockabye baby, sleepy and cute. We hope you'll grow up with lots of loot. 1.1495 0.04158 107 94 10 3
1772 It will help our child prepare for the reality that big money is always just out of reach. 1.1495 0.03710 107 92 14 1
1773 Even though it's technically mobile banking, we can only access it from this room. 1.1495 0.04365 107 95 8 4
1774 We'll name him 'Sam Bankman-Fried'." Sue Vaughan, San Francisco, Ca 1.1495 0.03940 107 93 12 2
1775 It gives the illusion we’re financially ready. 1.1495 0.03940 107 93 12 2
1776 I want to make sure our child learns early on about the power of compounding earnings! 1.1495 0.03710 107 92 14 1
1777 What if he's an aquarius 1.1495 0.03940 107 93 12 2
1778 High expectations. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
1779 We'll have to keep changing this more than his diaper to keep up with inflation. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
1780 What? It’s the only thing that stops me crying 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
1781 This way he’ll dream about being a boss baby! 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
1782 This is not what they mean by "born rich". 1.1491 0.03786 114 99 13 2
1783 It's never too soon to start learning about money." 1.1491 0.04176 114 101 9 4
1784 It was advertised as a developmental stimulant to the child and a retirement alternative for us. 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
1785 We wanted to raise an asshole, didn't we? 1.1489 0.04773 94 84 6 4
1786 We aren't going to be young forever, kid's gotta get the message! 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
1787 It’s mobile banking for babies. It plays, “Stock-a-Buy-Baby.” 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
1788 It's just as made up as fairies or whatever. 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
1789 If you think this is why we can’t have nice things, just wait. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
1790 How was I supposed to know what you meant by mobile banking? 1.1489 0.03692 94 80 14 0
1791 Penny if it's a girl. Rich if it's a boy. 1.1488 0.03832 121 106 12 3
1792 Think of it as our retirement plan. 1.1488 0.03832 121 106 12 3
1793 I wanted gold bars but Bob Menendez cornered the market. 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
1794 He'll make us lots of money, I swear! 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
1795 Our retirement plan. 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
1796 This will train him to keep his eyes on the prize. 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
1797 Honey, I didn't sign up to have a nepo baby! 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
1798 After he learns to crawl, I'll hang promissory notes. 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
1799 It’s good to instill upwardly mobile values from birth. 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
1800 Our child will NOT believe in crypto! 1.1485 0.04535 101 90 7 4
1801 so maybe DIY isn't my thing 1.1485 0.03556 101 86 15 0
1802 It is never too early to think about instilling values.” 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
1803 Scoff if you must, but I’m planning to retire young. 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
1804 It plays Twinkle Twinkle Little Bitcoin. 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
1805 Are you sure you want he to be an accountant? 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
1806 Sure, we could add a symbol for crypto. But then we'd eventually have to tell them what it means. 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
1807 The Etsy description said antique crib mobile. 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1808 I have already painted the ceiling 3 times this month, Gladys! 1.1481 0.04326 108 96 8 4
1809 I think your parents misunderstood our ask. 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1810 It is never too early to play cash me if you can! 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1811 Education by osmosis. It’s healthy to be wealthy. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1812 The perfect way to instill guilt from the start. Displaying Mommy and Daddy's sacrifices. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1813 I understand Charles is a family name, I just think Warren Buffet Jr. has a nice ring to it. 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1814 This is actually less than what they go for in the stores. 1.1481 0.04326 108 96 8 4
1815 May he be an earning child. A high earning child. 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1816 Then he can support us when we are old 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1817 This is almost as fun….. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1818 Yeah, ducks whey they are born, but this is the more accurate mobile. 1.1481 0.04121 108 95 10 3
1819 And our toddler kit features a stack of real overdue bills. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
1820 These are tough times. It’s important for our child to understand where their priorities should lie” 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1821 And we’ll name her Luxury 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1822 Just preparing it for a lifetime of futile grasping for money. 1.1478 0.03953 115 101 11 3
1823 It was going to be a silver spoon but I went with mobile banking 1.1478 0.03953 115 101 11 3
1824 This will give the baby a stretch goal. 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
1825 Let's be realistic. People don't live in shoes or sit on tuffets anymore. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
1826 You can have your dreams, but I want her to work for Goldman Sachs. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
1827 Better the devil you know. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
1828 Don't worry, he'll never be able to reach it. 1.1474 0.04725 95 85 6 4
1829 It's called The Upwardly Mobile Mobile." 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
1830 I guess I can't say 'Money doesn't grow on trees' anymore. 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
1831 I got it; let's name ELON ! 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
1832 she'll need a business plan more than grasping at money 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
1833 I wanted something to keep her interest and figured "like mother, like daughter." 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
1834 Any chance our baby might become just another typical New Yorker? 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
1835 I told you: no birds or butterflies. We need to instill higher values. 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
1836 Hi, birdies! Hiii!!! 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
1837 We have to start NOW so she can take care of us in our old age. 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
1838 I don't want this to crash and put our baby in a state of depression... 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
1839 Let’s call him Buck. 1.1474 0.04725 95 85 6 4
1840 Motor skills should include how to handle money. 1.1471 0.04493 102 91 7 4
1841 Baby MoBills help develop financial literacy. 1.1471 0.03790 102 88 13 1
1842 So, given up on your youthful socialism, have you? 1.1471 0.04271 102 90 9 3
1843 I just want to focus his attention early. 1.1471 0.04038 102 89 11 2
1844 I'm afraid all our money's tied up in mobile advertising. 1.1471 0.04271 102 90 9 3
1845 It’s so we don’t have to worry about Social Security crashing. 1.1468 0.03646 109 94 14 1
1846 I was thinking about my retirement and old age, that's why. 1.1468 0.04086 109 96 10 3
1847 It’s more of a reminder to me of the impact on our bank account. 1.1468 0.03405 109 93 16 0
1848 Honey, money isn't the worst of our problems. Just wait until the hospital bill. 1.1468 0.03646 109 94 14 1
1849 Motivational speakers are born not made. 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
1850 I found it in the money pit. 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
1851 Never too early to learn about fly side economics 1.1468 0.04086 109 96 10 3
1852 What are you complaining about, I picked it up at a garage sale, the owner told me that it was once Trumps! 1.1468 0.04482 109 98 6 5
1853 It’s a present from Uncle Donny. 1.1466 0.04108 116 103 9 4
1854 "I've adjusted for inflation to correspond with your due-date. 1.1466 0.03921 116 102 11 3
1855 Think of it as a lithmus test. 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
1856 The perfect gift for a boy named “Dinero.” 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
1857 Are we forcing it, though? 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
1858 My brother asked me to hide it until he gets out of prison. 1.1458 0.04437 96 85 8 3
1859 They told me at the store that if we hang this, our baby will understand the concept of cumulative interest at an earlier age. 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
1860 I do like the name Kendrick, but does Money Trees really need to be our nursery room song? 1.1458 0.04437 96 85 8 3
1861 We can wait 'til she is 1 before adding crypto to the mobile. 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
1862 We got it for 70% of book value! 1.1456 0.04232 103 91 9 3
1863 This will give him an elementary idea about a balanced budget. 1.1456 0.04001 103 90 11 2
1864 Did you notice that it’s just out of reach? The kid might as well get used to it. 1.1456 0.04001 103 90 11 2
1865 Because it'll be even more out of reach for her. 1.1456 0.04232 103 91 9 3
1866 He's half communist too, Megan! 1.1456 0.04451 103 92 7 4
1867 Greed is good. 1.1456 0.04001 103 90 11 2
1868 Hop in. 1.1456 0.03493 103 88 15 0
1869 Let's name him Richy 1.1456 0.04451 103 92 7 4
1870 I'm telling you, just one more level adjustment. 1.1456 0.04232 103 91 9 3
1871 It was on sale, I got a really good deal. 1.1456 0.04001 103 90 11 2
1872 Please lord, help my child marry rich. 1.1455 0.03839 110 96 12 2
1873 It's perfect, it's something dazzling that they'll never be able to reach. 1.1455 0.03839 110 96 12 2
1874 But I was just thinking about our retirement 1.1455 0.04051 110 97 10 3
1875 The future of your cash as a parent. 1.1453 0.04074 117 104 9 4
1876 Morgan Stanley will be calling us in no time! 1.1453 0.04074 117 104 9 4
1877 'I made this to show the baby how much I love them. This much!' 1.1453 0.03889 117 103 11 3
1878 I thought it was brilliant, to combine the college fund and the crib mobile together. 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
1879 I thought we agreed to raise a cold-hearted corporate raider. 1.1444 0.04623 90 80 7 3
1880 Do you think people will want to bring their kids to day trading care? 1.1444 0.04623 90 80 7 3
1881 Help 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
1882 If we distract them with it enough, we can trick them into wanting it 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
1883 Relax, it got lighter the more I inflated it. 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
1884 Can’t wait to cuddle our neoliberal. 1.1443 0.04632 97 87 6 4
1885 alpha babies don't just happen. 1.1443 0.03875 97 84 12 1
1886 Youngest entrepreneur ever! 1.1443 0.04394 97 86 8 3
1887 And it plays green noise. 1.1443 0.03875 97 84 12 1
1888 It’s her manifestation mobile, hun. 1.1443 0.04394 97 86 8 3
1889 Well, when SHOULD I start teaching him about crypto, Linda? 1.1442 0.03965 104 91 11 2
1890 It's the cheapest one I could find. 1.1442 0.03965 104 91 11 2
1891 Never too early, right honey? 1.1442 0.03722 104 90 13 1
1892 He will get his head stuck in this railing and we can sue Babys R Us. 1.1442 0.04193 104 92 9 3
1893 It's never too early to start teach junior about money! 1.1442 0.03965 104 91 11 2
1894 Of course when the time comes they will make their own decision. But a little prenatal nudge toward a career in finance never hurt anyone! 1.1442 0.03965 104 91 11 2
1895 Boy, did this cost a bundle. 1.1442 0.04410 104 93 7 4
1896 It’s the circle of life 1.1442 0.03965 104 91 11 2
1897 This way we can all watch the money fly away. 1.1442 0.04193 104 92 9 3
1898 She'll never dream of marrying an English major. 1.1442 0.04193 104 92 9 3
1899 I don’t want our child to wait till our age to discover what’s important in life. 1.1442 0.03965 104 91 11 2
1900 They will need to recognize the important things as soon as possible. 1.1442 0.03722 104 90 13 1
1901 Might as well get 'em started early. 1.1441 0.03807 111 97 12 2
1902 When he's tall enough, he can move out. 1.1441 0.03807 111 97 12 2
1903 I thought money grew on trees! What do you mean you're pregnant? 1.1441 0.04016 111 98 10 3
1904 This will teach him what's really important. Maybe he'll even be president some day. 1.1441 0.03666 118 103 13 2
1905 Let's name him Dollar General. 1.1441 0.03462 118 102 15 1
1906 Our baby‘s insatiable hunger for cash means we’ll never fly economy again. 1.1441 0.03858 118 104 11 3
1907 So he'll know how much he's costing us. 1.1441 0.03666 118 103 13 2
1908 Nine months of the Mozart effect, then nine months of the moolah mobile. What could go wrong? 1.1441 0.03666 118 103 13 2
1909 And we’ll christen him Donald ... 1.1429 0.04156 105 93 9 3
1910 Ugh, this baby is going to shit so much. Gross. 1.1429 0.04179 112 100 8 4
1911 No, the money was for a mobile home. 1.1429 0.04179 112 100 8 4
1912 I want to give our baby the illusion of wealth that I never had. 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
1913 It was either this or Itty-Bittycoin. 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
1914 Maybe it would help if you sang that song: “We’re in the Money” 1.1429 0.04833 84 75 6 3
1915 It promotes entrepreneurship. 1.1429 0.03982 112 99 10 3
1916 And then he can be on a Nirvana album cover. 1.1429 0.03929 105 92 11 2
1917 Never to early to learn what matters most 1.1429 0.04811 98 89 4 5
1918 We’ll increase the speed every week. 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
1919 If it’s a boy Elon or a girl Oprah. 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
1920 Our baby needs to learn how to pull themselves up by their bootie-straps. 1.1429 0.04351 98 87 8 3
1921 Apparently, savings mobiles are growing in popularity. 1.1429 0.03929 105 92 11 2
1922 He should know how much all this is costing us! 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
1923 This way he won’t dream about becoming a musician. 1.1429 0.03689 105 91 13 1
1924 It helps them learn about guilt. 1.1429 0.03929 105 92 11 2
1925 It’s good to get a head start on something you’ll chase your whole life. 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
1926 Come on Olga, you gave Stevie a hammer and sickle. It’s only fair. 1.1429 0.03982 112 99 10 3
1927 Lets just skip the "toys" phase! 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
1928 In case he gets into college. 1.1429 0.04156 105 93 9 3
1929 I was thinking financial acumen, but sure, visual development. 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
1930 Does he come with a tax return? 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
1931 ...But we've already missed the in utero capitalization stage. 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
1932 Twins? Great, now I have to go back to the bank. 1.1429 0.04351 98 87 8 3
1933 I want him to have the opportunities I didn’t have 1.1429 0.03982 112 99 10 3
1934 Any chance you can delay it until inflation eases up? 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
1935 I bought this at Elon Musk’s parents’ garage sale. 1.1429 0.05121 84 76 4 4
1936 Alexander Calder’s mobiles missed the mark! 1.1429 0.05394 84 77 2 5
1937 For the baby,hell no! This is my bed,Baby. 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
1938 Got it at a yard sale. As each of the endangered animals went extinct, I just replaced it with money. That should fix it! 1.1429 0.03929 105 92 11 2
1939 This way she can aspire to be upwardly mobile. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
1940 The perfect choice for baby Bankman-Fried. 1.1429 0.03929 105 92 11 2
1941 It's a metaphor... 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
1942 It will have a long term yield. 1.1415 0.03894 106 93 11 2
1943 Look, you didn't like the Monopoly crib either. 1.1415 0.04118 106 94 9 3
1944 He'll learn to work for it. 1.1415 0.04118 106 94 9 3
1945 This way we can chase money together. 1.1415 0.04118 106 94 9 3
1946 Let's just put it in the guest room. 1.1414 0.04310 99 88 8 3
1947 We must nurture capitalism! 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
1948 I think this will start him off on the right foot 1.1414 0.04310 99 88 8 3
1949 He needs to know that he was born into generational wealth. 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
1950 That will keep the Kracken away. 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
1951 Well, I say it teaches him the most important lesson in life." 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
1952 They say, "that you should start planning for retirement as early as possible!" 1.1414 0.04310 99 88 8 3
1953 I think it's good if he gets used to financial freedom being out of reach from a young age. 1.1414 0.04064 99 87 10 2
1954 I invested all our savings into mobile payments. 1.1414 0.04310 99 88 8 3
1955 I'd like to give his birds and bees discussion a "Milk and Honey" theme. 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
1956 You said to 'Pick something you dream about.'" 1.1414 0.04064 99 87 10 2
1957 I know you don't use cash anymore, but we could have deposited it. 1.1414 0.04064 99 87 10 2
1958 Well, don't we want him to be upwardly mobile? 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
1959 It’s cheaper than a 529. 1.1414 0.04064 99 87 10 2
1960 I’m the poor Dad, aren’t I? 1.1414 0.04543 99 89 6 4
1961 ... I mean, this crib is prime real estate after all... 1.1414 0.04310 99 88 8 3
1962 All they had left was the ‘banker’ or the ‘escort’… 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
1963 We just have to be sure it is high enough to be out of reach. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
1964 Well, it's the best I could do on short notice when the Bitcoin on vanished into thin air. 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
1965 It's like a baby vision board. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
1966 I’m just saying, sweetie, that it still feels a little unsettling that you sold our baby’s naming rights to the local bank. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
1967 All American Family 1.1413 0.04528 92 82 7 3
1968 Baby's First Ambition. 1.1413 0.03652 92 79 13 0
1969 I thought we’d offer a little signing bonus before the stock options. 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
1970 I don't want him going to Disney, I want him owning Disney. 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
1971 We're looking for a new junior analyst 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
1972 Reaching for the stars never made anyone a dime. 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
1973 We were raised by boomers, so we ought to be able to raise our own boomer, right? 1.1404 0.03497 114 99 14 1
1974 Succession 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1975 It's never too early to instill just how important greed is to be successful in business.... 1.1402 0.04292 107 96 7 4
1976 I thought we should just cut to the chase. 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1977 When ya raisin' a kid ta succeed you, ya can't start too early. 1.1402 0.03372 107 92 15 0
1978 And don't tell me you're hanging that for the baby! 1.1402 0.03860 107 94 11 2
1979 Trust me Rose. This will help him become upwardly mobile. 1.1402 0.04082 107 95 9 3
1980 I want her to learn early on that money doesn't grow on trees. 1.1402 0.04292 107 96 7 4
1981 If we can get her ambitious really early, she'll become a successful cartoonist who knows how to draw human arms! 1.1400 0.04269 100 89 8 3
1982 We're raising him as a Finance Bro. End of discussion. 1.1400 0.04025 100 88 10 2
1983 I want to teach our child that money doesn’t grow on trees! 1.1400 0.03487 100 86 14 0
1984 If my streaming career doesn’t work, he can support us in old age. 1.1400 0.04025 100 88 10 2
1985 Just think our baby will be fiscally responsible before it learns to walk 1.1400 0.04269 100 89 8 3
1986 She can buy butterflies. 1.1400 0.04025 100 88 10 2
1987 For his future, they said to invest in Cribto. 1.1400 0.04499 100 90 6 4
1988 He's gonna think manna comes from heaven. Let me tell ya, it don't 1.1400 0.04025 100 88 10 2
1989 It’s called Manifestation 1.1400 0.04269 100 89 8 3
1990 The more he makes, the better old age home he can afford for us. 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
1991 If this doesn’t teach him the value of a buck I don’t know what will. 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
1992 You can never start a child's financial education soon enough Marge. 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
1993 The focus groups lean towards "Exxon-Mobil" if it's a boy, "Cigna Health" if it's a girl. 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
1994 OK, fine but I'm still not in favor of calling her "Penny" " 1.1398 0.03615 93 80 13 0
1995 It's the mo money mobile. 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
1996 All the Nepo babies have them. 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
1997 I’m telling you, this is how you attract a demon banker baby, and you know what they grow up to be. 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
1998 I bought all this stuff and now you're telling me you just swallowed a whole watermelon when I wasn't looking? 1.1395 0.05007 86 78 4 4
1999 It's never too soon to teach financial literacy 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
2000 Baby Donald is going to love this! 1.1391 0.03884 115 102 10 3
2001 Let’s start him early on thinking about how he can support us in old age, since he’s going to drain our life savings. 1.1389 0.04254 108 97 7 4
2002 It didn't do Trump any harm. 1.1389 0.04046 108 96 9 3
2003 The moment Carole realized it was was a mistake to marry a senator. 1.1389 0.04254 108 97 7 4
2004 The American Dream, baby. Wads of money. 1.1389 0.03343 108 93 15 0
2005 It's not the mobile, it's the message. 1.1389 0.04254 108 97 7 4
2006 You can make your deposit now. I've set up mobile banking. 1.1389 0.03593 108 94 13 1
2007 By 18 she'll be ready to pay for college herself 1.1389 0.03826 108 95 11 2
2008 It's all about the subconscious Liz 1.1389 0.03343 108 93 15 0
2009 We got this and a MAGA hat for a $100.oo donation! 1.1386 0.04673 101 92 4 5
2010 Absolutely no. I am not raising a baby to be wing-obsessed. 1.1386 0.04229 101 90 8 3
2011 You think this is how Elon Musk started? 1.1386 0.04229 101 90 8 3
2012 Little Elon will love this! 1.1386 0.04457 101 91 6 4
2013 A gentle reminder of how much of an investment the next 20 years is going to create for a good future. Don’t disappoint is the subliminal message… 1.1386 0.03988 101 89 10 2
2014 Think of it as an early introduction to mobile banking. 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
2015 Not trees, mobiles. 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
2016 Because the cryptocurrency model only hung by a thread. 1.1386 0.04229 101 90 8 3
2017 It worked for that kid on the Nirvana album! 1.1386 0.04229 101 90 8 3
2018 It's part of my early retirement plan. 1.1386 0.04229 101 90 8 3
2019 I think it's important that our child learn early that money is usually out of reach. 1.1386 0.03455 101 87 14 0
2020 I just want her to have big dreams! 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
2021 There is nothing wrong with a Philistine! 1.1386 0.04229 101 90 8 3
2022 Either is good with me, as long as she or he is a capitalist. 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
2023 So, for the middle name, Gordon or Gekko? 1.1383 0.04436 94 84 7 3
2024 I figured this would be more effective than a silver spoon. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
2025 I thought he should learn early, it may very well be just out of reach. 1.1383 0.04687 94 85 5 4
2026 Think of it as an early introduction to the importance of having cash on hand. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
2027 Do you think our baby will get the message we just want them to be happy. 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
2028 You were right, dear. At the doctor's office, the fetal heart tone was, "Tuition, tuition, and tuition". 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
2029 Snark is not a good look on a pregnant woman, Dorothy. 1.1383 0.04436 94 84 7 3
2030 Look if we want to retire on time, the baby is going to need to help. 1.1383 0.04436 94 84 7 3
2031 It's never too early to make him aware of the essential facts of life. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
2032 I;ve already planned ahead with our baby’s college savings fund mobile app. 1.1383 0.04436 94 84 7 3
2033 Don’t worry, it’s unreachable for all of us. 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
2034 If this works, she'll be the queen of Wall Street. 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
2035 Mobile economy. Too on the nose? 1.1379 0.04674 87 78 6 3
2036 Helicopter parents must incentivize. Now! Prenuptial. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
2037 I thought you said we wouldn’t hold the financial burden of parenthood over his head. 1.1379 0.04674 87 78 6 3
2038 A month to go, and he's already put us in debt. 1.1376 0.03562 109 95 13 1
2039 Making it was cheaper than buying one. 1.1376 0.04217 109 98 7 4
2040 Listen, somebody's got to pay the hospital bills 1.1376 0.04011 109 97 9 3
2041 If we don’t start now he’ll never understand crypto 1.1376 0.03562 109 95 13 1
2042 Go immediately to the Maternity Ward. I’ll stay here and guard the stork’s nest egg. 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
2043 She's the first in-womb influencer - we're going to make millions! 1.1375 0.04950 80 72 5 3
2044 I pray tat our future child becomes the Secretary of the Treasury! 1.1373 0.03697 102 89 12 1
2045 should we add some crypto currency? 1.1373 0.03697 102 89 12 1
2046 Do you think this is what Donald Trump’s first crib looked like? 1.1373 0.03697 102 89 12 1
2047 Think “Parent Support”! 1.1373 0.03697 102 89 12 1
2048 I call it the Musk Mobile. 1.1373 0.03424 102 88 14 0
2049 By the time she’s born, this mobile will be worth millions in cryptocurrency. 1.1373 0.04189 102 91 8 3
2050 I like to think of it as a rest egg. 1.1373 0.03697 102 89 12 1
2051 Yeah, the little one will eventually buy her lattes with bitcoin. But hopefully the principle will carry over. 1.1373 0.03697 102 89 12 1
2052 Let's name him Cash. 1.1373 0.04189 102 91 8 3
2053 Honey, research shows early age financial education as good predictor of success in life 1.1373 0.04189 102 91 8 3
2054 THIS MOTHERFUCKER 1.1368 0.04875 95 87 3 5
2055 Not sure is this will make him rich or an economist? 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
2056 And I want to name him Adam Smith. 1.1368 0.03545 95 82 13 0
2057 It's the new Pottery Barn Kids Eco-Friendly Feathered Greed design. What do you think? 1.1368 0.04391 95 85 7 3
2058 College fund 1.1368 0.04391 95 85 7 3
2059 It's never too soon to start. 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
2060 I'm serious babe...we need this kid working by age five,seven at the latest! 1.1368 0.04391 95 85 7 3
2061 I got it at a Sherriffs sale at trump tower. 1.1368 0.04391 95 85 7 3
2062 Don't laugh. It's an upward mobility mobile. All the hospital interns have one. Even if they don't have babies. 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
2063 My mother sent this mobile, along with her list of preferred baby names and visitation schedule. 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
2064 Now he or she is positively destined to win the Lottery. 1.1368 0.04391 95 85 7 3
2065 At least he’ll know it doesn’t grow on trees 1.1368 0.03545 95 82 13 0
2066 Because they were sold out of the power, fame and pleasure mobiles 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
2067 These Alexander Calder mobiles don't come cheap 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
2068 For political aspirations 1.1368 0.03545 95 82 13 0
2069 They say Musk was hit on the head by a bag of money from his mobile over HIS crib. What's there to lose? 1.1364 0.04623 88 79 6 3
2070 He will go right from capital letters to capitalism. 1.1364 0.03679 88 76 12 0
2071 Maybe we should go with crypto, instead? 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
2072 ''Inflation has made everything go up.'' 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
2073 We need to teach our baby fiscal responsibility - no credit cards! 1.1364 0.03532 110 96 13 1
2074 If we want to raise a good capitalist,we have to start early. 1.1364 0.03760 110 97 11 2
2075 This was cheaper than any of the ones in the stores. 1.1364 0.03760 110 97 11 2
2076 Hey! At least it isn't Bitcoin. 1.1359 0.03914 103 91 10 2
2077 He's only going to see dollar signs! 1.1359 0.03914 103 91 10 2
2078 Modern capitalistic economic models require a significant population that suffers near death while allowing for the rich to remain unrestrained in their hoarding of wealth. 1.1359 0.04150 103 92 8 3
2079 Kid's gotta plan ahead. First required minimum distribution from IRAs may be less than 74 years away. 1.1359 0.04374 103 93 6 4
2080 Little baby Ka$h Koww is going to love this <3 1.1359 0.04374 103 93 6 4
2081 I couldn't afford to buy a real mobile. 1.1359 0.04374 103 93 6 4
2082 Montessori was black and white but we know what the illusion really is. 1.1359 0.04586 103 94 4 5
2083 It's an IVF mobile. 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
2084 I wonder if Dr. Spock would recommend this mobile. 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
2085 You want the child to have good values, don't you? 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
2086 She'll have to think big. Or at least what we think of as big. 1.1354 0.03810 96 84 11 1
2087 I read that green is a neutral color 1.1354 0.03810 96 84 11 1
2088 We need to inspire her to make enough money to support us in our retirement! 1.1354 0.04348 96 86 7 3
2089 you're encouraging Junior to grow up to be a 19th century Bank robber. 1.1354 0.04348 96 86 7 3
2090 Who needs Sugar Plums? 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
2091 Zoey, this is exactly what little babies want. 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
2092 I'm living proof that these things don't work. I'm not an airplane pilot. 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
2093 It's part of the Wu Tang Clan collection. 1.1354 0.04348 96 86 7 3
2094 See, crass materialism can be fun! 1.1354 0.04348 96 86 7 3
2095 She needs to learn at an early age that wealth is a dream. 1.1351 0.03728 111 98 11 2
2096 If you have a better financial plan, let's hear it. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
2097 Just getting the baby ready for the real world 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
2098 Not everything has to be about the moon and stars and rainbows. 1.1348 0.04573 89 80 6 3
2099 It's called The Lullabuy. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
2100 Aren't we just teaching him that real wealth is always out of reach? 1.1348 0.04573 89 80 6 3
2101 Honey, I saw this on 'raising millionares,' trust me 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
2102 And when you spin it, it plays “Feelings” 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
2103 It's never to early to incentivize. 1.1346 0.03630 104 91 12 1
2104 This is the upwards mobile. 1.1346 0.04112 104 93 8 3
2105 A person’s reach should exceed their grasp”, or what’s money grubbing for 1.1346 0.04333 104 94 6 4
2106 C'mon dear - it's never too early to learn money makes your world go around. 1.1346 0.03879 104 92 10 2
2107 Since you're in your fourth quarter, I thought I should get everything ready. 1.1346 0.04112 104 93 8 3
2108 Welcome to the 'Baby World,' where the rules are made up, and your savings don't matter! 1.1346 0.03879 104 92 10 2
2109 What? My parents did the same for me and I turned out fine! 1.1346 0.04333 104 94 6 4
2110 Yeah, adjusting for inflation, this stuff can only make a mobile go round now. 1.1346 0.04112 104 93 8 3
2111 This will inspire him enough so that we don't have to worry about our retirement. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
2112 Just so she knows, I'm not paying for art school or a liberal arts degree. 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
2113 Sure, it’s high. He’ll learn early some things are just out of reach. 1.1340 0.03773 97 85 11 1
2114 Planning for our retirement. 1.1340 0.04305 97 87 7 3
2115 Didn’t I warn you? Never order a baby mobile from Amazon.” 1.1340 0.04048 97 86 9 2
2116 This way the money will go 'round 1.1340 0.04305 97 87 7 3
2117 Is this the cheapest mobile you could find? 1.1340 0.04305 97 87 7 3
2118 We’ll get him the monocle and top hat when he shows sufficient interest. 1.1340 0.04048 97 86 9 2
2119 Start ‘er early!!! 1.1340 0.04048 97 86 9 2
2120 Got it off the Wharton website for only $10,000. 1.1340 0.04305 97 87 7 3
2121 This is how you teach a baby to be successful by hanging money over the Crib 1.1340 0.04548 97 88 5 4
2122 Might as well start 'em young, I say! 1.1340 0.04305 97 87 7 3
2123 It plays "Money for Nothing" 1.1340 0.04048 97 86 9 2
2124 It’s just like animals. They’ll want it but will never have it. 1.1339 0.03908 112 100 9 3
2125 I got the crib for 99% off because it has structural issues AND it came with this free American Dream mobile! 1.1339 0.03473 112 98 13 1
2126 This will remind her that money is always just out of reach. 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
2127 I’ve created this mobile with our baby's first month diaper budget. 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
2128 It’s never too early to dissuade a career in the arts. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
2129 Never too early to learn that money makes the world go around 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
2130 This is Plan B because I didn't budget for quintuplets! 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
2131 Don't forget that this is the college fund you put up there. 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
2132 It's never too early to encourage goals 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
2133 Okay, maybe I just skimmed Rich Dad Poor Dad. 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
2134 I want to make sure that when we’re old and frail our kids can take care of us in the style to which we’ve become accustomed. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
2135 I just didn't think reading him "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" was enough. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
2136 Wrong bed? 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
2137 I hope she becomes a banker. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
2138 Never too early for her to learn the value of a buck” 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
2139 Just outta reach. Better get used to it early. 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
2140 And we agree on calling him “Rich,” right? 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
2141 Does this count as a tree? 1.1333 0.04075 105 94 8 3
2142 Freud is in fashion again! 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
2143 What do you mean it's too far out of reach? This is America! 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
2144 Well I'm sorry I don't have the heart to tell Mr. Musk we don't like his gift! 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
2145 No worries, he/she/it will only stare at it! 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
2146 This works as both a carrot and a stick. 1.1327 0.03206 113 98 15 0
2147 On this week's episode of Cribs.... 1.1327 0.04074 113 102 7 4
2148 If this works, maybe we can retire early. 1.1327 0.03666 113 100 11 2
2149 No, I’m not trying to influence our baby to become a doctor. To make REAL money these days, you become a politician. 1.1327 0.03444 98 85 13 0
2150 Well she won’t learn about making smart spending choices from watching her dad. 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
2151 I want him to know how much he means to us. 1.1327 0.04263 98 88 7 3
2152 I know how the song goes, but still, I'm hoping for a material boy. 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
2153 Maybe someday he will be able to over inflate his Net Worth by Billions of dollars... 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
2154 I thought this would be a place of serenity with an opaque interior , but now I see everything has a price. 1.1327 0.04263 98 88 7 3
2155 Finally we’ll put our retirement savings to good use. 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
2156 It matches the Monopoly board quilt 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
2157 Going directly for money dreams will entice it away from starting a garage band. 1.1327 0.04263 98 88 7 3
2158 What rhymes with investment? 1.1327 0.04263 98 88 7 3
2159 It's guaranteed to imprint on children how money will always seem out of reach." 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
2160 I know, I know, but hear me out: the stock market is just like a mobile, constantly up and down. Our baby will be a market expert! 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
2161 This will prepare Junior for the late stages of the American Empire 1.1327 0.04263 98 88 7 3
2162 Where are the stocks? Bonds? He’s gotta diversify, Sharon 1.1327 0.03737 98 86 11 1
2163 This is before the co-pay 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
2164 I went with the mobile payment option 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
2165 Train'em early! 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
2166 This will help her learn that it's always going to be out of reach. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
2167 I don't know, I am getting dizzy, is it you, is it the money, or is it the baby? 1.1325 0.05077 83 76 3 4
2168 Now we’ll both want what we can’t have. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
2169 What better way of teaching our kid conservative values? 1.1321 0.03566 106 93 12 1
2170 It’s the perfect combination of work and play. 1.1321 0.04038 106 95 8 3
2171 They're called 'mo-bills'. 1.1321 0.03566 106 93 12 1
2172 Look what I did with all the money we saved from you not getting your makeover!" 1.1321 0.03809 106 94 10 2
2173 Hopefully e premature birth! Inflation doesn't wait. 1.1321 0.04038 106 95 8 3
2174 Why not? She's never going to sleep either. 1.1321 0.03566 106 93 12 1
2175 I want him to always be as fluid as he is now! 1.1321 0.04038 106 95 8 3
2176 Money flies 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
2177 If it's a boy we're calling him Rich. 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
2178 You can forget about seeing any of that again! 1.1319 0.03566 91 79 12 0
2179 Money makes the world go round, world go round, world go round, money makes the … 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
2180 Two words Karen, two..upward mobility 1.1319 0.03566 91 79 12 0
2181 Should we switch from black & white to bright colors to, y'know, encourage a sensitive side? 1.1313 0.04222 99 89 7 3
2182 Why setup a college fund when we can get a vision board? 1.1313 0.04222 99 89 7 3
2183 When he gets older we’ll put it in his mattress 1.1313 0.03702 99 87 11 1
2184 Barbara, I want our Sammy to grow up with a sense of value 1.1313 0.04222 99 89 7 3
2185 This will inspire him to avoid crypto. 1.1313 0.03412 99 86 13 0
2186 This is a terrible place to put our money! What if the baby grabs it? Then the baby will have all our money. Then we'll be out on the street and the baby will be stuck inside with a bunch of money they can't spend. 1.1313 0.03970 99 88 9 2
2187 "I read that nowadays all the young people use mobile banking. 1.1313 0.03702 99 87 11 1
2188 I TOLD you to suspend that with one of my red ties! 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
2189 To be realistic if it's a girl, we'll have to remove one of the ornaments. 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
2190 Wharton or bust 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
2191 Our child should learn to follow the money 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
2192 Take it from me, it's out of reach. 1.1308 0.04217 107 97 6 4
2193 It also comes in hammer and sickle. 1.1308 0.04002 107 96 8 3
2194 Let's name the baby Poverty. To remind us of our demographic 1.1308 0.04217 107 97 6 4
2195 Relax! Remember, we’re Democrats - that’s government money - they won’t have to actually earn it! 1.1304 0.04431 92 83 6 3
2196 Is it too early-stage capitalism? 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
2197 Too much, too soon? 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
2198 It's never to soon to learn life's harsh realities... 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
2199 Surprise, joy, contentment, fear….it represents my current stage of acceptance. 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
2200 You said buy a mobile with cash.... 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
2201 Damn it, Laura. 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
2202 You’re the one who suggested the name Maximillion. 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
2203 Studies say green is calming and an investment in our future so he can take care of us. 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
2204 Green and gold are gender neutral. 1.1304 0.04693 92 84 4 4
2205 Wait. I bought that one for our bed. 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
2206 Baby Elon will be all atwitter over this! 1.1304 0.04431 92 83 6 3
2207 It plays Hall and Oats “Rich Girl” 1.1304 0.03530 92 80 12 0
2208 Assuming I can fit in the crib, it should help me get a good night's sleep. 1.1304 0.04693 92 84 4 4
2209 They were too expensive so I DIYed it 1.1304 0.04431 92 83 6 3
2210 I want her to be an entrepreneur when she grows up. 1.1300 0.03667 100 88 11 1
2211 What? they passed a law to prohibit retail establishments from discriminating against cash as a form of payment! 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
2212 Just giving Junior an idea of his impact on the family. 1.1300 0.03380 100 87 13 0
2213 It’s never to early to teach financial literacy. 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
2214 Fred said that this is how he got Donald started. 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
2215 Cause he should know money doesn’t come from trees, darling! 1.1300 0.04181 100 90 7 3
2216 Indoctrination to our capitalist society should begin early. 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
2217 Sure honey, telling the farmers to bring their plows west to produce rain didn’t work, but they probably didn’t set their intensions early enough for the universe to take care of the details. 1.1300 0.04640 100 92 3 5
2218 you said i was in charge of the craddle 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
2219 However, she will only start to pay back her student loan with that 1.1300 0.03667 100 88 11 1
2220 Reverse psychology - it's the only way to prevent him from turning into Trump. 1.1299 0.05012 77 70 4 3
2221 We might be starting an upwards trend. 1.1296 0.04179 108 98 6 4
2222 If money also talks, our kid may hear it say 'Adios' . 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
2223 He will need to think that way to pay for college and our medical bills. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
2224 Where are the Bitcoins? 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
2225 YOU try drawing cryptocurrency. 1.1294 0.04671 85 77 5 3
2226 She's our retirement plan. 1.1293 0.03360 116 102 13 1
2227 I just want him to like numbers! 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
2228 And I call it - wait for it - baby crybto! 1.1290 0.04644 93 85 4 4
2229 We are a lock to get on “Shark Crib.” Mr. Wonderful will love this! 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
2230 Mine was sheep and piggies and look at me. 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
2231 You're never too young to be upwardly mobile." 1.1290 0.03495 93 81 12 0
2232 We need to set the tone right away... a college education is expensive. 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
2233 If it's a boy he will learn to earn it, if it's a girl she will learn to spend it. 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
2234 I couldn't find one with Bitcoin. 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
2235 We're naming him 'Elon' and that's that! 1.1287 0.03896 101 90 9 2
2236 Let's give th3 little bugger a head start.. 1.1287 0.04142 101 91 7 3
2237 They've simplified mobile banking. 1.1287 0.03896 101 90 9 2
2238 Our newborn will think that mom and dad is made of money!! 1.1287 0.03896 101 90 9 2
2239 Give me one good reason why smiling crescent moons would deliver more bang for the buck… 1.1284 0.04143 109 99 6 4
2240 You know, Moses’ parents are trying a different method. 1.1284 0.03932 109 98 8 3
2241 This is how make the tyke into a tycoon. 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
2242 Oh, I totally misunderstood what you meant by needing to mobilize our savings for junior. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
2243 I have a feeling our kid’s gonna major in finance. 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
2244 I thought you wanted a mobile that would raise his interest 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
2245 This is more of a reminder for me than the baby, Dorothy. 1.1279 0.04619 86 78 5 3
2246 No screen viewing before age 2. Good evidence suggests it has lasting negative effects on children's development. 1.1279 0.04619 86 78 5 3
2247 I want her first 3 words to be greedy, mommy, and daddy 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
2248 When I asked about pricing, they said, "You'll get what you pay for." 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
2249 Align him with the 1%. 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
2250 What could possibly be more important? 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
2251 It’s never too early to start thinking about investing. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
2252 I'm banking on him being an accountant, 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
2253 whaddya tryin' ta do here?! Raise an engineer? a MD? A JD? A drumpf-like foo?! 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
2254 At least we are being real! 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
2255 Since we’re naming it ‘ELON’ I think we should start it on the right track! 1.1277 0.04068 94 84 8 2
2256 I still feel like it belongs in the bank. 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
2257 Since we are having a girl I thought I'd give her something that you love. 1.1277 0.04068 94 84 8 2
2258 What happened to the all-star halfback option? 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
2259 It was a gift from Jeff Bezos. 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
2260 Your Pinterest DIY ideas are getting too expensive. 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
2261 My son will not be a writer! 1.1277 0.04340 94 85 6 3
2262 I sure hope it's a boy, Mrs. Menendez! 1.1275 0.04103 102 92 7 3
2263 We don't want Brandon to be too liquid. 1.1275 0.03318 102 89 13 0
2264 Thought I heard wrong when you said 'Doughbile'. 1.1275 0.03859 102 91 9 2
2265 Might as well get used to it early! 1.1275 0.04103 102 92 7 3
2266 We're still against capitalism, but I got this for our baby to hedge our bets 1.1275 0.03859 102 91 9 2
2267 He's gonna be millions, he gonna feel like an million. 1.1275 0.04103 102 92 7 3
2268 It can play 3 finance podcasts and a self-help audiobook 1.1275 0.03859 102 91 9 2
2269 Even if he’s color blind, he’ll still recognize green. 1.1275 0.03599 102 90 11 1
2270 If we get over Pinocchio- ing his aspirations won't be so Wallsatreety! 1.1273 0.03444 110 97 12 1
2271 Do you want our child to become an avaricious!" -sk whidbey island w 1.1273 0.04106 110 100 6 4
2272 It’s from the Maye Musk Nursery collection. 1.1273 0.03678 110 98 10 2
2273 I want him to start thinking about college as early as possible 1.1273 0.04106 110 100 6 4
2274 it's to teach him money doesn't come from trees but directly from his parents 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
2275 We'll raise the denominations as she gets older. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
2276 I picked it up at some estate sale at Trump Tower. 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
2277 This seemed like a good way to teach about white privilege 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
2278 saliva clots blood & protects cuts from unwanted bacteria 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
2279 I like it: a college tuition mobile. 1.1264 0.03584 87 76 11 0
2280 I thought that this would give the kid a leg up on a financially secure future. 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
2281 Oh, it will keep her amused but do you want to raise a kid who will believe money grows on trees? 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
2282 It’s not what’s around the world, it’s what makes it go around. 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
2283 I'm 18 now, Mom. I'll still sleep in the crib, but I need a more appropriate mobile. 1.1264 0.05119 87 81 1 5
2284 Honey, that was my savings! 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
2285 It’ll help the baby to “pay” attention 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
2286 I think Kirsten is a great name for a financial planner. 1.1263 0.03739 95 84 10 1
2287 I wish I were so lucky to get into crypto from a crib! 1.1263 0.03739 95 84 10 1
2288 Calder had it all wrong ! 1.1263 0.03739 95 84 10 1
2289 I'm just saying it can't choke on cryptocurrency. 1.1263 0.04027 95 85 8 2
2290 It’s never too early to set financial goals. 1.1263 0.04027 95 85 8 2
2291 Don't you think it's a bit pretentious? 1.1263 0.03739 95 84 10 1
2292 And if we name her Penny, she’ll know a woman’s worth. 1.1263 0.03426 95 83 12 0
2293 Glad you removed the bitcoin 1.1263 0.04296 95 86 6 3
2294 What better way to spend a dollar. 1.1263 0.03739 95 84 10 1
2295 The big bucks are going to lull him to sleep. 1.1263 0.03426 95 83 12 0
2296 It’s a long con so baby knows it’s important to support us when we’re old. 1.1263 0.03739 95 84 10 1
2297 Because cute animals and colorful stars won't get her far in this life. 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2298 A preoccupation with finance will be our future legacy. 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
2299 ‘’There. He’ll learn soon to fear capitalism.’’ 1.1262 0.04293 103 94 5 4
2300 You think he will be able to sleep looking at that?? 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
2301 It doesn't grow on trees. 1.1261 0.03414 111 98 12 1
2302 Pink or blue is so limiting. A green ceiling mobile can inspire any orientation! 1.1261 0.04071 111 101 6 4
2303 Now they’ll learn the advantages of trickle-down economics! 1.1261 0.03165 111 97 14 0
2304 I know we talked about whales, but the store assured me this is the newest endangered species. 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
2305 Don’t worry — it will be better balanced after I add the gold and bitcoin. 1.1250 0.03702 96 85 10 1
2306 I figure let’s just cut to the chase. 1.1250 0.03702 96 85 10 1
2307 Remember, I said I would be happy with just a dog. 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
2308 The child should know from the start what it costs to get here. 1.1250 0.03702 96 85 10 1
2309 She's gonna be born on December 31st, I just know it! 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
2310 We should do something in bitcoin. 1.1250 0.03702 96 85 10 1
2311 What do you mean, ‘What if it’s a boy?’ 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
2312 We'll be on easy street in no time. 1.1250 0.04253 96 87 6 3
2313 He needs to know what's important. We need security in our retirement. 1.1250 0.03987 96 86 8 2
2314 Looks, I refuse to let our kid go into the Arts. 1.1250 0.03393 96 84 12 0
2315 You said make a mobile deposit! 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
2316 You want him to have dreams of success? Well, an Alexander Calder was beyond our budget, Sylvia. 1.1250 0.03534 104 92 11 1
2317 Upward mobility starts here. 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
2318 If it goes around too fast he’ll just end up spending money like a drunken sailor! 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
2319 If we want them to get into Stanford Business,we have to start early. 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
2320 What's so wrong about raising a money-grabber? 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
2321 It will help take his mind off bitcoin. 1.1250 0.04027 104 94 7 3
2322 Isn’t it a bit wrong to prepare him for Silicon Valley criminal lawyers’ fees so early? 1.1250 0.03393 96 84 12 0
2323 I don't want this baby to follow its dreams. I want it to follow MY dreams. 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
2324 ...and let's name him Donald 1.1250 0.03393 96 84 12 0
2325 Think about! Cash will be necessary to support every growing stage! 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
2326 Don't you think the positive affirmations are enough? 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
2327 Tuition subsidy from the Mobile Oil Corporation. 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
2328 This oughta get him to focus on what’s important in life. 1.1250 0.03702 96 85 10 1
2329 You have to teach them that some things will always be out of reach. 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
2330 Ethereum, Tether, Ripple and Puréed coin. 1.1250 0.04253 96 87 6 3
2331 I just want to instill the right values in him so we might get some return of investment. 1.1250 0.04831 80 73 4 3
2332 Someday we'll present him with the bill. 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
2333 I just finished reading Elon Musk's new autobiography 'My First Year', and he says this is what inspired him. 1.1250 0.04518 88 80 5 3
2334 I want my child to chase my dreams. 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
2335 No time to crawl and learn, you gotta rise and jump. You'll know soon enough, that we live in a dog eat dog world! 1.1250 0.04027 104 94 7 3
2336 We’re raising her to appreciate vintage. 1.1250 0.03702 96 85 10 1
2337 In them I just remembered how kids just cared about the merry-go-round. 1.1238 0.03754 105 94 9 2
2338 It's what dreams are made of. 1.1238 0.03991 105 95 7 3
2339 I thought you want her to marry a rich man. 1.1237 0.03948 97 87 8 2
2340 It's from 7 Habits of Millionaires Under 30. 1.1237 0.04211 97 88 6 3
2341 How do you think your dad paid for the wedding? 1.1237 0.03948 97 87 8 2
2342 Maybe the baby’ll take the hint and get to work asap 1.1237 0.03666 97 86 10 1
2343 From the start, he needs to know what makes the world go round. 1.1237 0.03666 97 86 10 1
2344 Please let this child be rich so they can take care of us in our old age. 1.1237 0.03666 97 86 10 1
2345 Your money grabbing father bought our baby this?!? 1.1237 0.04211 97 88 6 3
2346 We'll teach him to keep his eye on his money early on 1.1237 0.03360 97 85 12 0
2347 We've got to start early training him to make a lot of money so he can support us when we're old! 1.1237 0.03666 97 86 10 1
2348 We’re the worst parents ever! Right? 1.1237 0.03360 97 85 12 0
2349 Is it too early for parental guilt-tripping? 1.1237 0.03948 97 87 8 2
2350 It will teach him to always reach for the impossible. 1.1237 0.03360 97 85 12 0
2351 Might as well learn it young. Financial security is always just out of reach. 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
2352 Just a reminder that we've opted for alone forgiveness. 1.1236 0.04469 89 81 5 3
2353 The little deadbeat better make enough dough to pay us back for all this decorating. 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
2354 This needs no caption 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
2355 I just want him to know that we support him in following his dreams, whatever they might be. 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
2356 Okay, it’s not the prettiest, but Mrs. Bezos said her son really loved it! 1.1236 0.03508 89 78 11 0
2357 It’s called “The Capitalist Mobile” 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
2358 We can tell everybody we’re starting a Fairy Godmother fund. 1.1236 0.04469 89 81 5 3
2359 What? You said to decorate things in green. 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
2360 Back in my day, you had to have a 401k by 10 months. 1.1236 0.04469 89 81 5 3
2361 I’m hoping that what goes around comes around. 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
2362 He’ll either be a future Warren Buffet or Scrooge McDuck 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
2363 See? I do things. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
2364 Isn’t it a bit early to start encouraging blatant consumerism. 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
2365 You can be reading to him now—I have some quarterly reports. 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
2366 … and we will play Taylor Swift , Drake and Beyoncé as lullaby music. 1.1228 0.03767 114 103 8 3
2367 More realistic than reaching for stars. 1.1224 0.03910 98 88 8 2
2368 It was either this or Spiderman vs Venom. 1.1224 0.04415 98 90 4 4
2369 Think of it. He won't ever need to move back home. 1.1224 0.04170 98 89 6 3
2370 Let's name a girl 'Goldie' and a boy 'Billy', short for Billionaire." 1.1224 0.03631 98 87 10 1
2371 I have one at the office. 1.1224 0.03910 98 88 8 2
2372 I’m training our kid to understand the importance of being economically mobile from an early age. 1.1224 0.03631 98 87 10 1
2373 And MAGA jammies. 1.1224 0.03910 98 88 8 2
2374 You agreed that I could choose the nursery theme. 1.1224 0.03910 98 88 8 2
2375 I got it from the googoo gaga dollar store. 1.1224 0.04170 98 89 6 3
2376 Mommy and Daddy are broke. That whole ‘generational wealth’ thing is on you now. 1.1224 0.03631 98 87 10 1
2377 I’m not going to make the same mistake my parents did! 1.1224 0.04170 98 89 6 3
2378 They need to get used to having wealth just outta reach. 1.1224 0.04170 98 89 6 3
2379 it will teach him the value of money 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
2380 The sooner our child knows that trickle-down economics does not work he or she will be better for it. 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
2381 Might as well start 'em off young! 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
2382 I'm not making a statement, I know it's your body. 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
2383 Manifesting upwardly mobile. 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
2384 Reading to your child is passé. Now it's all about cribonomics. 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
2385 This will prepare him for unreachable prosperity in his future. 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
2386 I'm investing in my retirement early 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
2387 Upward itty-mobile 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
2388 Trust me, little Elon’s gonna love it! 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
2389 I don't want her to be attached to earthly possessions ... just money will do. 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
2390 Say goodbye to our retirement worries. 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
2391 ... and then we get him to pose naked on an album cover. 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
2392 It supposed to develop early embezzlement skills 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
2393 It's never too early to learn about value investing! 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
2394 I’m blinging it out in case it’s ever featured on MTV Cribs. 1.1222 0.04421 90 82 5 3
2395 How to raise a lawyer 101 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
2396 Who is Kit? You said you came up with this concept on your own? 1.1222 0.04421 90 82 5 3
2397 Teach ‘em young, right? 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
2398 I just want to prepare them for the real world! 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
2399 “It’s what made my left arm twice as long.“ 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
2400 It’s never too early to manifest! 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
2401 Is capitalism the thing we want most on his developing mind? 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
2402 We'll get him used to it being out of reach. 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
2403 College? It is about self-reliance, and it starts now! 1.1215 0.03440 107 95 11 1
2404 We have a chance to do what our parents didn’t do for us…financial literacy starts for our baby today! 1.1215 0.03440 107 95 11 1
2405 You're missing my point about optics. 1.1212 0.03872 99 89 8 2
2406 The kid might as well learn early that wealth will be out of reach. 1.1212 0.03297 99 87 12 0
2407 These traditional decorations are cute but something more modern with bitcoins might be better. 1.1212 0.03596 99 88 10 1
2408 Ivanka, Eric, Barron, Tiffany, Donald 1.1212 0.04130 99 90 6 3
2409 Fiscal education can't start too early! 1.1212 0.03872 99 89 8 2
2410 Oh — it's a girl? That's cool. No, that's really awesome. You're absolutely sure? OK. Wow. So cool. 1.1212 0.04130 99 90 6 3
2411 children???? in this economy???? 1.1212 0.03872 99 89 8 2
2412 This is supposed to teach our child that money doesn't grow on trees? 1.1212 0.03297 99 87 12 0
2413 ….and good night cash cow jumping over the moon… 1.1212 0.03297 99 87 12 0
2414 They have wings because time flies! And time is money. 1.1209 0.03436 91 80 11 0
2415 I’ve also created a YouTube channel and aTikTok feed and you’ll be the Momager!! 1.1209 0.03436 91 80 11 0
2416 Might as well train it early. 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
2417 They also had "global warming," "school shootings," and "extreme political polarization." 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
2418 Are you trying to tell me he or she is going to handle our finances from now on? 1.1209 0.04086 91 82 7 2
2419 Best to learn early that it’ll always be out of reach… 1.1209 0.03436 91 80 11 0
2420 To prepare him for his student loans 1.1209 0.04374 91 83 5 3
2421 It's for his circumcision. I cut a deal with the doctor. 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
2422 he’s got a guardian angel investor watching over him 1.1209 0.03436 91 80 11 0
2423 It’s a girl! 1.1209 0.04086 91 82 7 2
2424 Atleast he won't get into crypto now! 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
2425 I’m still not sure about ‘rise and grind’ as a nursery theme… 1.1209 0.04086 91 82 7 2
2426 Parents of Elon Musk. 1.1205 0.04336 83 75 6 2
2427 College. 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
2428 Is that you're idea of a ceiling light? 1.1205 0.04662 83 76 4 3
2429 College ain't gonna pay for itself. 1.1205 0.04336 83 75 6 2
2430 It was recommended by a seasoned wealth adviser. 1.1205 0.04336 83 75 6 2
2431 Seriously? Unconscious abundance? It’s clearly saying: “It’s out of your reach, buddy! 1.1204 0.03655 108 97 9 2
2432 Maybe if it sinks in how much he is costing us, he will appreciate us some day. 1.1200 0.04634 75 68 5 2
2433 I draw the line at calling him Elon. 1.1200 0.03835 100 90 8 2
2434 Just like our hopes and dreams will go flying away! 1.1200 0.03562 100 89 10 1
2435 Let's go with Elon or Warren for a boy, and Oprah or MacKenzie for a girl. 1.1200 0.04330 100 92 4 4
2436 You’re praying for a cold, heartless, billionaire, yes? 1.1200 0.04634 75 68 5 2
2437 Sure, the baby might look at this while falling asleep, but a retractable disco ball in the living room was ‘too much’.. 1.1200 0.04634 75 68 5 2
2438 What exactly is the spider going to do with the ransom money? 1.1196 0.04328 92 84 5 3
2439 Well if this is not going to work for you, why did we read Milton Friedman to the baby all these months? 1.1196 0.04328 92 84 5 3
2440 Biden’s Student Loan Forgiveness ain’t happening, we need to do something! 1.1196 0.04596 92 85 3 4
2441 As soon as he can reach these, we'll go for bitcoins. 1.1196 0.03401 92 81 11 0
2442 You see, dear, toys are fungible. 1.1196 0.03736 92 82 9 1
2443 ‘It’s never too early for children to consider their Child Care Financial Assistance Options’ 1.1196 0.04328 92 84 5 3
2444 Well,we want her to be upwardly mobile. 1.1196 0.03736 92 82 9 1
2445 If nothing else, she'll develop strong biceps!!!" 1.1196 0.03736 92 82 9 1
2446 She will be vying for the Nobel in economics in 2073 1.1196 0.04043 92 83 7 2
2447 Coming soon “Boss Baby” live action. 1.1196 0.03736 92 82 9 1
2448 We’ll just say she’s precocious and asked for this as a reminder to contribute to her college fund. 1.1193 0.03623 109 98 9 2
2449 There are dreamers and there are doers--I'm encouraging a doer. 1.1193 0.03380 109 97 11 1
2450 I think the brat dumps his position at 2 am. Bet me! 1.1190 0.04286 84 76 6 2
2451 We don't have a choice. We can only afford to have a Boomer. 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
2452 Yo, everybody needs some Benjamins for their crib. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2453 I want her to have a future in polirics. 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2454 Relax. If it’s a girl, we’ll just take one of the four down. 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
2455 The best way to teach the ABCs is 'Always be closing.' 1.1188 0.04288 101 93 4 4
2456 It was easier just to have a kid than save for retirement anyway! 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2457 Would you rather have him living in our basement in 30 years? 1.1188 0.04288 101 93 4 4
2458 Now honey, he’ll have fond memories of the invisible hand 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
2459 It’s no Calder but neither are you 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
2460 Agassi's dad hung tennis rackets but since we can't count on talent our goal is Wall Street. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
2461 It's a way to find out if she 's a spender or a saver. 1.1184 0.04576 76 69 5 2
2462 Kids gotta support us in our old age. 1.1184 0.04576 76 69 5 2
2463 You know it takes a Million Dollars to raise a child , right ? 1.1183 0.03698 93 83 9 1
2464 I just want our child to inspire a Martin Scorcese film. 1.1183 0.03698 93 83 9 1
2465 Cradle to grave in these United States 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
2466 Mobile financial transactions are the future. 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
2467 It's never too early to combat innumeracy. 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
2468 It's settled! We move the crib and put our bed here. 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
2469 Forget about a lawyer, let's hope we have a hedge funder. 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
2470 He can listen to Mozart for now, but later, he'll need prescience about the world." 1.1183 0.03367 93 82 11 0
2471 I knew he was a go-getter. Now he's gone. 1.1183 0.03367 93 82 11 0
2472 And he says, “your haircut makes you look like Hitler youth Tintin, and your shoe looks like you stepped on a piece of bread” and I was just trying to buy this dumb baby thing. 1.1183 0.04284 93 85 5 3
2473 See, Janet, the store brand tape works just fine… 1.1183 0.03698 93 83 9 1
2474 Men seldom make passes at fish who wear glasses. 1.1182 0.03591 110 99 9 2
2475 This height is ok. They are easier to touch than in real life. 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
2476 I am NOT a groomer! 1.1176 0.03206 102 90 12 0
2477 Visions of sugar plums is so old school... 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
2478 It's what you call an 'upwardly mobile ' 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
2479 I figure it’s never too early to introduce her to the real world. 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
2480 A Trump Nursery 1.1176 0.03496 102 91 10 1
2481 One day she'll grow up and be a politician. 1.1176 0.03496 102 91 10 1
2482 The American Dream is alive and well 1.1176 0.04013 102 93 6 3
2483 Teach him early. Grab thee money and run. 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
2484 With rents on the rise, we can't afford a 529 plan, so... boom! 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
2485 I don't care if he's the sperm donor, Mr. Monopoly doesn't get to decorate the baby's room 1.1176 0.04556 85 78 4 3
2486 Honey,if you want to pull off a family bank heist,we need to start now! 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
2487 Start them young, it's all about mindset 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
2488 How will birds or planets help her focus on what's important to us? 1.1176 0.03206 102 90 12 0
2489 My childhood Unicorn and sunbeam mobile didn't do much to inspire me." 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
2490 It’s never to early to play monopoly 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
2491 And his name shall be Gordon! Gordon Gecko! 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
2492 Honey, our money is flying away already 1.1170 0.03961 94 85 7 2
2493 He needs to get used to college tuition money being out of reach. 1.1170 0.03660 94 84 9 1
2494 And we can reward him with a quarter if he only poops during business hours 1.1170 0.04240 94 86 5 3
2495 New world order 1.1170 0.03660 94 84 9 1
2496 She'll be an Econ major for sure! 1.1170 0.03333 94 83 11 0
2497 Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief? 1.1170 0.03961 94 85 7 2
2498 It’s unisex. 1.1170 0.03961 94 85 7 2
2499 This baby will pay for itself in no time. 1.1170 0.03660 94 84 9 1
2500 I’m sure this is what Callder had in mind. 1.1170 0.03961 94 85 7 2
2501 Well, I thought it better represented upward mobility... 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
2502 It’s called subliminal messaging, Honey. 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
2503 People say it was invented by Fred Trump, and that's good enough for me. 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
2504 Is this the best Amazon can do for must-have mobiles for our precious first-born? 1.1169 0.04882 77 71 3 3
2505 By the time you finally push that kid out, the money will be worthless anyway! 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
2506 Because they start off in a spending freeze. 1.1165 0.03728 103 93 8 2
2507 Crypto will have no place in this kids life. 1.1165 0.03177 103 91 12 0
2508 I don’t think that’s what they meant by mobile banking. 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
2509 Maybe he could be the next E-Trade baby. 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
2510 I still think a 529 plan might earn a better return. 1.1163 0.04191 86 78 6 2
2511 Just look at as if it's an IPO. 1.1161 0.03294 112 100 11 1
2512 The bitcoin mobile is unavailable. 1.1158 0.03921 95 86 7 2
2513 The only thing I remember about the reveal is that it cost us $20K. 1.1158 0.03300 95 84 11 0
2514 It’s just like the one Taylor Swift had when she was a baby. 1.1158 0.03624 95 85 9 1
2515 How was I to know DMX put out a mobile version of 'Money, Cash, Hoes' ? 1.1158 0.04197 95 87 5 3
2516 You gotta train 'em EARLY! 1.1158 0.03624 95 85 9 1
2517 Next month, we move on to interes rates. 1.1158 0.03624 95 85 9 1
2518 You won’t believe what this thing cost me! 1.1154 0.03148 104 92 12 0
2519 I've just thought of a great name for our son. Donald. 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
2520 I want our baby to dream of financial security. 1.1154 0.04463 78 71 5 2
2521 Don't worry, he won't be able to reach them. 1.1154 0.04463 78 71 5 2
2522 Got this from the Republican party writing you can't start too soon. 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
2523 Our baby texted that she’s already got a mobile phone. 1.1154 0.03432 104 93 10 1
2524 hopefully this one doesnt grab the hot coals 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
2525 It will improve the rate at which he takes interest in interest rates. 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
2526 See, it's not worthless. 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
2527 Now, we just need a recording of coins clanking. 1.1149 0.04455 87 80 4 3
2528 I'm going to make that kid nouveau riche, if it's the last thing I do! 1.1149 0.04144 87 79 6 2
2529 It's all part of my 'get rich slow' scheme. 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
2530 A money mobile...the best educational tool for infants. 1.1149 0.04455 87 80 4 3
2531 IKEA had free gift with $10,000 purchase. 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
2532 Money may not make the world go around, but it sure will pay for this kid’s rent in 18 years. 1.1149 0.04144 87 79 6 2
2533 Inquisitiveness. Acquisitiveness. It’ll stimulate one of them. 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
2534 Reach for the money, reach for the money. Gotta start ‘em early! 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
2535 So she's kicking to the Wharton fight song?'' 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
2536 Flying money? Are we going to make him ready to be poor? 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
2537 Money will be the baby's idol 1.1149 0.04144 87 79 6 2
2538 The Ivy League model had bigger $ signs 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
2539 It’s never too early to start. 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
2540 There were only two options left at the store. It was either this or lattes and avocado toast. 1.1149 0.04144 87 79 6 2
2541 Pediatric lessons on mobile banking. 1.1146 0.03588 96 86 9 1
2542 Matilda, your obsession with money is going to make the little one turn out like a trumpster. 1.1146 0.04154 96 88 5 3
2543 How is this going to make our kid the next Elon Musk? 1.1146 0.03881 96 87 7 2
2544 If we want to raise a billionaire,we have to get an early start. 1.1146 0.03881 96 87 7 2
2545 He will be a financial genius before 1.1146 0.03588 96 86 9 1
2546 If it’s a boy… 1.1146 0.03588 96 86 9 1
2547 Of course, we won't have any of this after we pay the hospital bills. 1.1146 0.03268 96 85 11 0
2548 This will only help the baby realize that we don't favor crypto. 1.1143 0.03660 105 95 8 2
2549 It plays "Sympathy For the Devil" as it twirls. 1.1143 0.03660 105 95 8 2
2550 The box said “Upward Mobile-ity, Guaranteed”, but this is a stretch. 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
2551 Can't believe the little guy is due to IPO any day now. 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
2552 Can you believe it also plays, 'The Alphabet Song' AND 'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star'? 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
2553 She needs to learn that money doesn't grow on trees. 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
2554 It's important to set aspirations when they're young 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
2555 Sure this will motivate the kid, but let’s just hope his arms match in size and length. 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
2556 And I've signed the baby up for the LSAT review course. 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
2557 I want her to appreciate how much babies cost these days 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
2558 This should get the little cutie's dopamine flowing! 1.1136 0.03403 88 78 10 0
2559 We’ll thank us for it someday. 1.1136 0.03403 88 78 10 0
2560 Even I can't reach this. 1.1136 0.04406 88 81 4 3
2561 We can use it as a piñata when he gets older. 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
2562 It was on sale 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
2563 It will be an interesting behavioral experiment to see which one of the twins reaches it first. Could put an end to the whole nature nurture thing once and for all and prove Darwin right. 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
2564 I'm investing in our family. 1.1134 0.03553 97 87 9 1
2565 "The baby needs to understand he/she is our retirement plan." 1.1134 0.03236 97 86 11 0
2566 We can take it down now. How many 2 year olds have an MBA 1.1134 0.03843 97 88 7 2
2567 I think we should add the soundtrack to Annie 1.1134 0.03843 97 88 7 2
2568 Gotta teach 'em young 1.1134 0.03843 97 88 7 2
2569 I keep telling you that money grows on trees. 1.1134 0.03236 97 86 11 0
2570 The ? specific ? views ? expressed ? by ? blitzchung ? were ? NOT ? a ? factor ? in ? the ? decision? we? made.? I ? want ? to ? be ? clear: ? our ? relationships ? in China ? had ? no? influence ? on ? our ? decision.? 1.1134 0.04366 97 90 3 4
2571 it's never too early to teach them the value of a dollar. 1.1134 0.03236 97 86 11 0
2572 Hurry, before interest rates change. 1.1134 0.03553 97 87 9 1
2573 The one you bought was a bit fruity so I tossed it and bought this one instead. 1.1134 0.03843 97 88 7 2
2574 I thought you said you liked vintage!? 1.1134 0.03553 97 87 9 1
2575 Think of it as a long term investment 1.1132 0.03370 106 95 10 1
2576 It will teach him early that money makes the world go around, and he'll never have it. Yes, I'm cynical. 1.1132 0.03627 106 96 8 2
2577 Eyes on the prize! 1.1132 0.03370 106 95 10 1
2578 rack city, bitch rack, rack city bitch 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
2579 I see the moneybags are missing wings, i bet our Amazon delivery person stole them out of spite. 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
2580 You don't want her to grow up to be a hedge fund manager? 1.1125 0.04355 80 73 5 2
2581 Yeah! Well Capitalism is magical too! 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
2582 No, I'm not gonna be a sugar daddy. 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
2583 I don’t care which sport it is. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
2584 Listen babe, if the rai·son d'ê·tre of human beings is to chase money for the rest of our lives, we might as well give our future daughter a head start! 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
2585 Looks like the Tooth Fairy's hitting the Casinos again...grab those bags of cash, before her luck changes. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
2586 The quicker we can link swiping and monetisation , the better 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
2587 Trust me, it would stop me from crying at night. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
2588 Well, we have to think about our retirement. 1.1124 0.04055 89 81 6 2
2589 I think your parents need to be reminded of the concept of generational endowments. 1.1124 0.04055 89 81 6 2
2590 This will help the baby be motivated to go into finance. 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
2591 Our little deduction will understand the balance sheet from the very start. 1.1124 0.04358 89 82 4 3
2592 This gives our child the right idea right from the start! 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
2593 What? The private kindergarten swears by ite. 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
2594 No daughter of mine is going to lose sleep thinking about money. 1.1124 0.04055 89 81 6 2
2595 You’re saying this heirloom is the source of my financial nightmares? 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
2596 Seems like a fair price for the baby. 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
2597 It doesn’t take a village to teach Financial Literacy, it takes a dollar sign mobile. 1.1124 0.04055 89 81 6 2
2598 When he's big enough to reach it, it'll be worthless. 1.1122 0.03518 98 88 9 1
2599 He should know he was conceived as a tax credit 1.1122 0.03805 98 89 7 2
2600 I thought it would be an early indoctrination in the costly sacrifices we'll be making. 1.1122 0.03805 98 89 7 2
2601 ya know he is behind for his age, he’s got to be investing 1.1122 0.03518 98 88 9 1
2602 And then, naturally, a top position in a select hedge fund. 1.1121 0.03340 107 96 10 1
2603 It teaches them early how expensive they actually are. 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
2604 Yes, it's the MOST appropriate mobile! 1.1111 0.03175 99 88 11 0
2605 This will give our new child a brief introduction into the world of economics by seeing what he or she grabs first! 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
2606 We will remind the baby how much money we spend on him every minute of his life. 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
2607 It's never too early to teach kids the value of money. 1.1111 0.04011 90 82 6 2
2608 May as well start early! 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
2609 I'm just saying, what goes around comes around! 1.1111 0.04303 81 74 5 2
2610 Get the permanent marker I wanna draw a dollar sign on your breast 1.1111 0.04648 81 75 3 3
2611 What do you think? I'm betting she'll pay for her own college. 1.1111 0.03768 99 90 7 2
2612 Its just a subtle reminder of our sacrifice as her brain develops during the formidable years. 1.1111 0.04515 99 93 1 5
2613 We’ll call him “Sam” . 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
2614 I think we finally chose the most meaningful mobile for newborns, but we still have to pick his name. Elon or Sam? 1.1111 0.04311 90 83 4 3
2615 I'm banking on a career in politics. 1.1111 0.03331 90 80 10 0
2616 Hedge fund manager training starts in the crib. 1.1111 0.03768 99 90 7 2
2617 But what if it's a communist? 1.1111 0.04303 81 74 5 2
2618 Hey, it’s never too early to teach her the facts of life. 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
2619 This will get him on the road to financial success from the get-go 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
2620 No, honey, we are not investing in DiapercCoin! 1.1111 0.03331 90 80 10 0
2621 Okay, but we are not naming him Buffett. 1.1111 0.04662 72 66 4 2
2622 I want her to always keep our estate plan in mind. 1.1111 0.03331 90 80 10 0
2623 Alexander Calder it isn't ...if it was we could sell it to pay for the crib! 1.1111 0.03175 99 88 11 0
2624 Capitalism doesn't need any extra help! 1.1111 0.04303 81 74 5 2
2625 We will start our baby out early with manifesting prosperity with this money mobile. 1.1111 0.03331 90 80 10 0
2626 Children are a valuable commodity. 1.1111 0.04011 90 82 6 2
2627 I’ll hide it under the mattress when he’s old enough to sleep on one. 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
2628 So you believe in the Bribery method of child rearing. 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
2629 The kid’s gotta know right from the start how much it’s costing us. 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
2630 I want her to know how much I contribute. 1.1111 0.04033 99 91 5 3
2631 It’s a baby's early trainer for a future in politics, of course. 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
2632 I want him to be an astronaut too,but there seems to have been a paradigm shift in how to do that. 1.1111 0.04011 90 82 6 2
2633 Why settle for a piggy back if she can have a pigs-can-fly bank? 1.1111 0.03331 90 80 10 0
2634 But I wish my parents HAD charged me rent, financial literacy is invaluable. 1.1111 0.04311 90 83 4 3
2635 There will be no bitcoins for our baby! 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
2636 Early lesson in late-stage capitalism 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
2637 If it's a boy, we'll name him "write off." 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
2638 Don’t you want the kid to be “laid back?” You know, “with my mind on my money and my money on my mind?” 1.1111 0.04033 99 91 5 3
2639 I ordered it off the Gordon Gekko registry. 1.1111 0.03484 99 89 9 1
2640 This should prevent a future recesion 1.1111 0.04311 90 83 4 3
2641 Trust me, it's gonna pay for itself 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
2642 It’s called manifesting, honey. 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
2643 Keep channeling 1.1101 0.03983 109 101 4 4
2644 Birds and stars used to be OK, but with inflation being what it is, this will do better. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2645 The sooner the baby self-identifies as a consumer, the sooner she'll be able to buy happiness! 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2646 I want *my* kid to grow up to be President. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2647 Exactly! When we kept talking about dreams for the baby you kept saying economically mobile 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
2648 Just to make her aware: On day one, she owes us $40,000. 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
2649 Gotta start them on that grind early, the bag isn’t gonna chase itself. 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
2650 its called "directed dreaming" and it works! 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
2651 We are raising our baby capitalist. 1.1099 0.03297 91 81 10 0
2652 Hang on Linda! I haven’t added the dream crusher, I mean catcher, yet. 1.1099 0.03969 91 83 6 2
2653 Well, we need him to take care of us when we’re older. 1.1099 0.03297 91 81 10 0
2654 What do you mean Taylor Swift owns Cornelia St.?!? 1.1099 0.03969 91 83 6 2
2655 Uncle Pennybags never had kids did he? 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
2656 money so hard to get will make him spend 1.1098 0.04593 82 76 3 3
2657 I wanted a Crypto Mobile but it was basically empty. 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
2658 I figure he might as well get an early start realizing he’ll never reach his financial goals 1.1098 0.04593 82 76 3 3
2659 It's from the 'Greed is Good' line of baby products. 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
2660 Never too soon to teach the little guy about money. 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
2661 Sing a Song of Sixpence a Pocket Full of Rye... 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
2662 I don’t think we can count on Social Security. 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
2663 Have you seen the cost of college? This is the most fantastical mobile they had. 1.1098 0.04253 82 75 5 2
2664 If only the actual spin were this simple. 1.1098 0.04253 82 75 5 2
2665 We're about to drop a bundle. 1.1098 0.04253 82 75 5 2
2666 give birth to an early retirement. 1.1098 0.04253 82 75 5 2
2667 Some people put Mozart recordings under the pillow . . . 1.1089 0.03115 101 90 11 0
2668 Don’t you think it’s a little early to start the Dave Ramsey stuff? 1.1089 0.03697 101 92 7 2
2669 Don't worry, his blankets are in t-bonds! 1.1087 0.03927 92 84 6 2
2670 We’ll be a step ahead in our homeschooling. 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
2671 A wall street wolf does not come out from nowhere.. 1.1087 0.03263 92 82 10 0
2672 Do you want him to be a Republican or not? 1.1087 0.03263 92 82 10 0
2673 Scrooge McDuck IS a Disney theme... 1.1087 0.04221 92 85 4 3
2674 I heard that this was hung over Barron's bed 1.1087 0.03927 92 84 6 2
2675 Is this another idea from @capitalism_mama on instagram? 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
2676 "And soon he'll be violently hoarding his toys then, before we know it, stiffing his waiters!" 1.1087 0.03263 92 82 10 0
2677 I'm not going to get into one of those 'better left unsaid' relationships. 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
2678 Might as well buy him a quarter zip too Monica! 1.1087 0.03927 92 84 6 2
2679 You know what they say honey- What goes around comes around! 1.1087 0.03263 92 82 10 0
2680 I prefer to subtly indoctrinate our child into the perils of capitalism, myself, Margaret. 1.1087 0.03263 92 82 10 0
2681 Pigs are more likely at this point. 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
2682 By The time he's grown, all banking will be mobile, so we might as well start him early. 1.1084 0.04203 83 76 5 2
2683 But what if we have triplets? 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
2684 Does this go up to $280K to fund an 18 yr. old? 1.1084 0.04203 83 76 5 2
2685 Talk about moving your money! 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
2686 The baby can listen to Mozart now, but after they're born, I suggest this. 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
2687 We should name him Jeff. 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
2688 For sale Baby crib Never used 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
2689 I think this will better serve us over OUR bed, Maggie!! 1.1084 0.04203 83 76 5 2
2690 There it goes! 1.1084 0.04203 83 76 5 2
2691 It helps you get into a prestigious preschool. 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
2692 Come on… He has a preschool interview tomorrow… 1.1081 0.04540 74 68 4 2
2693 Honey, I know you think it's crass, but in a shaky economy I just think we should make sure the baby has his priorities straight. 1.1081 0.04540 74 68 4 2
2694 Is it so bad I'm trying to raise our child to be a future Senator? 1.1078 0.03662 102 93 7 2
2695 I’m just making sure she doesn’t rely on Angels and Stars to pay her college tuition. 1.1078 0.03662 102 93 7 2
2696 You're never too young to start manifesting. 1.1078 0.03918 102 94 5 3
2697 What ever happened to visions of sugarplums? 1.1075 0.03230 93 83 10 0
2698 i know you love Nirvana but oh well Nevermind 1.1075 0.03230 93 83 10 0
2699 Angels, schmangels. This thing's gonna teach little Donald what's *really* important in life. 1.1075 0.04177 93 86 4 3
2700 That reminds me -- if you weren't so fat and frigid, we could make a baby, sell it and move out of this dump. 1.1075 0.04448 93 87 2 4
2701 it is a mobile about money honey 1.1075 0.03887 93 85 6 2
2702 I also got the baby books Tax Shelters for Dummies, and Good Night Ponzi Scheme. 1.1075 0.03887 93 85 6 2
2703 One day our baby will be on a Nirvana album cover. 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
2704 Inflation. 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
2705 No worries,Hon. Financial literacy should be taught at a very young age. 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
2706 It looks sparse. Can you hold it in until my next paycheck? 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
2707 I found it at brokers r us. 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
2708 Never too early to teach the baby to appreciate our sacrifices. 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
2709 An avowed atheist shouldn’t teach her child that money is God 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
2710 From day 1 our baby will be stimulated by $. 1.1071 0.04487 84 78 3 3
2711 You can’t start thinking about money soon enough! 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
2712 He's going to be the next Wolf of Wallstreet 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
2713 Money makes the world go round is Rock-a-Bye Baby for our generation. 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
2714 The least she/he can do is to want to help out as soon as possible with all this inflation 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
2715 He's gonna learn to chase The Almighty Dollar right from the start." 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
2716 Starting at 5, it’s all he’ll think about anyways. 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
2717 No, I said ya need cash to be upwardly mobile!" 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
2718 If we amortize her lost productivity during the last trimester it will exceed what we lost while you are off work. 1.1071 0.04487 84 78 3 3
2719 This way he will learn early on that financial happiness is always just out of reach. 1.1071 0.04487 84 78 3 3
2720 It’s crib-dough currency! 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
2721 You’re never too young to start learning about fiscal responsibility Mike Gillia, East Lyme, CT 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
2722 It’s all about planting the seed. And then the more babies we make, the more they’ll make for us! 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
2723 'i put on 5lbs and he shows his true colors' 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
2724 It even came with a travel kit made out of interchangable currencies for global market 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
2725 A newborn’s eyes can really only see dollar signs 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
2726 If he doesn’t start saving now, he’ll never be able to afford a house when he’s our age! 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
2727 What? Is this not what you meant by "magical fantasy"? 1.1068 0.03058 103 92 11 0
2728 This in utero suggestion might help point him toward becoming a financial adviser." 1.1067 0.04867 75 70 2 3
2729 This mobile is to remind us, that we have until the 15th week to back out. 1.1067 0.04482 75 69 4 2
2730 Yes, I went to the baby store you recommended, but this was cheaper. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
2731 You can’t start to early to incentivize. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
2732 Trust me, it'll work. It's called aversion therapy. 1.1064 0.04402 94 88 2 4
2733 Gender fluid is fine. But liquid assets still rule. 1.1064 0.03847 94 86 6 2
2734 You can thank your failure to use birth control that I will have to get a second job. 1.1064 0.03847 94 86 6 2
2735 With inflation skyrocketing, we need to add a bar of gold bullion to balance it. 1.1064 0.03537 94 85 8 1
2736 They’ll be the first infant in the neighborhood to have an NIL! 1.1064 0.03847 94 86 6 2
2737 There’s two lessons here. The first is that the money is out of their reach. The second, when they finally can reach it, they will realize that it’s all fake, and they wasted their life up to that point reaching for the wrong thing. 1.1064 0.03847 94 86 6 2
2738 It's called Bank-on-Me and plays a subliminal message about growing up to take care of mommy and daddy who have no retirement savings. 1.1064 0.03847 94 86 6 2
2739 Sic transit gloria mundi…. Just sayin’…. 1.1064 0.03537 94 85 8 1
2740 I got it for little Donald! 1.1064 0.03537 94 85 8 1
2741 Look,we name the kid Jim Cramer or we don't name him at all! 1.1059 0.04108 85 78 5 2
2742 This will verify that either Musk or Trump was your sperm donor . 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
2743 I know that money grows on trees, but this is ridiculous !" 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
2744 Need financial literacy to pay for college,support us in our old age and just plain old survive. 1.1059 0.04108 85 78 5 2
2745 I'm teaching Them the power of gender politics. 1.1059 0.04108 85 78 5 2
2746 I got junior an ExxonMobile. 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
2747 Forget toys! With inflation & the housing market, kids today gotta focus on getting cash,cash,cash! 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
2748 You know that “nest egg” is not to be taken literally…. 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
2749 I found it on eBay. The seller said it hung over Elan Musk's crib. For $10, I figured , what the heck? Those magic beans worked for Jack, right? 1.1059 0.04108 85 78 5 2
2750 I just don't think we as a society value money highly enough 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
2751 It's supposed to make them more money-subconscious. 1.1059 0.04108 85 78 5 2
2752 It’s important to understand the concept of easy come, easy go! 1.1053 0.03165 95 85 10 0
2753 She can be anything she wants: a hedge fund manager,a professional soccer player,or a politician. 1.1053 0.03808 95 87 6 2
2754 Boy are we financially fucked. 1.1053 0.03501 95 86 8 1
2755 It's a mobile, but it's made of money. 1.1053 0.03165 95 85 10 0
2756 Sure, money is the root of all evil. But you shouldn't worry about all that, Rosemary. 1.1053 0.04805 76 71 2 3
2757 Our first foray into mobile money. 1.1053 0.03501 95 86 8 1
2758 Wha da ya t'ing, Honey, is it too crass or just the right amount of cash? 1.1053 0.04424 76 70 4 2
2759 I thought if he's gonna be in finance like me, why not? Do you like it? 1.1053 0.03165 95 85 10 0
2760 A good start for our little genius. 1.1053 0.03808 95 87 6 2
2761 This will imprint Life-long goals so that he will be able to take care of us in retirement. 1.1053 0.03808 95 87 6 2
2762 She should see the real world 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
2763 Fine, but this is what it takes to get to the moon and stars. 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
2764 For guilt or aspiration? 1.1053 0.03501 95 86 8 1
2765 Donald Trump's first mobile 1.1053 0.03808 95 87 6 2
2766 I do understand your concerns with all the economic uncertainty. But I'm not sure that the best place to try and protect our child's future nest egg 1.1053 0.03808 95 87 6 2
2767 A is for assets,B is for bank,C is for cash and we hope you have lots of that 1.1053 0.03501 95 86 8 1
2768 She’s gonna think money grows on trees 1.1053 0.04424 76 70 4 2
2769 Continuous mode ought to yield the highest dividends. 1.1053 0.03808 95 87 6 2
2770 Manifesting student loan and mortgage savior 1.1053 0.03808 95 87 6 2
2771 Money makes the world go round, the world go round, the world go round... 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
2772 We'll teach our baby to reach for the right goals from the very beginning. 1.1047 0.04061 86 79 5 2
2773 I vote for Penny if its a girl and Cash if its a boy. 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
2774 And I say T^'9b-! will love it. 1.1047 0.04061 86 79 5 2
2775 I want him to know, life IS all about money. 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
2776 Do you think she’ll accept mobile payments? 1.1047 0.04061 86 79 5 2
2777 Early imprinting of consumerism 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
2778 When our little Donald arrives, I just know he will be President some day. Maybe twice! 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
2779 It will inspire him to go to vocational school. 1.1042 0.03466 96 87 8 1
2780 What’s wrong with ‘Ayn’? I thought you loved that name! 1.1042 0.03466 96 87 8 1
2781 We need to add an electronic bag with crypto. 1.1042 0.04050 96 89 4 3
2782 It’s never too soon for the kid do some good old-fashioned goal setting. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
2783 We might need to rethink our parenting strategy. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
2784 I've hung it so it'll always be just out of reach. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
2785 I think Cashtor is a beautiful name 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
2786 Never too early to plan properly for our retirement plan. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
2787 For his proper focus 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
2788 She’ll either be Warren Buffet or join Nirvana. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
2789 Believe me, a few decades from now, we will need his support; I say, inculcate him now or die early. 1.1039 0.04369 77 71 4 2
2790 You're very anxious, Gary. Have you sought help? Yes, but we did not get approved. 1.1039 0.04369 77 71 4 2
2791 It's a reminder that they will never touch what we've worked hard to attain. 1.1038 0.03264 106 96 9 1
2792 So he learns that financial stability is always just out of reach. 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
2793 There were no more whales or butterflies! 1.1034 0.03284 87 78 9 0
2794 It’ll all be nostalgia in the end. 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
2795 She needs to learn to pull herself up by her own bootie straps 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
2796 Now, the most important thing is that we always keep it out of reach. 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
2797 "May she become inured to the real Wheel of Fortune!" 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
2798 It's not all about the money, Becky. 1.1034 0.04016 87 80 5 2
2799 did you get the vest and loafers set? 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
2800 It’s the Late-Stage-Capitalism-Mobile. Ironically, it was free. 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
2801 I found my inspiration from both Alexander Calder and Jeff Bezos 1.1031 0.03732 97 89 6 2
2802 We need to add some crypto. 1.1031 0.03432 97 88 8 1
2803 I thought you wanted her to feel “comfortable”. 1.1031 0.03104 97 87 10 0
2804 Mobile banking is so yesterday 1.1031 0.03732 97 89 6 2
2805 Ok I got the blue walls, but did the book also say anything about when this guy will be financially autonomous? 1.1031 0.03432 97 88 8 1
2806 It moves at dizzying speed and plays atonal music - perfect to insure we don't raise a capitalist. 1.1029 0.04750 68 63 3 2
2807 Never too young to learn about where your tax money go's 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
2808 If you have a choice, choose life! 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
2809 And here is a future resting place for baby Scrooge! 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
2810 It''s the best we can do since we can't afford a college fund. 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
2811 It’s to make him a boss, baby 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
2812 I keep telling you Martha, Environment shapes the person. We'll probably be rich in 25 years! 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
2813 That's not what I meant by upwardly mobile. 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
2814 And yes I also tell the baby there is no Santa Claus . 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
2815 I hope he’s a boy 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
2816 Honey, I think that’s what they call growth investment 1.1026 0.04314 78 72 4 2
2817 I want them to grow up with American Ideals 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
2818 Do you really think we should be pushing capitalism on her quite so early? 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
2819 Good nursery cachet, right? 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
2820 The trick is to have the baby focus on money, we may have just solved how we're going to be able to retire! 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
2821 Is our message pursue money or spend money? Big difference with the cost of college these days. 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
2822 It will reassure her before object permanence kicks in 1.1023 0.03972 88 81 5 2
2823 This way, when she grows out of the crib, we get our money back” 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
2824 How about we name our child ! Richie Poor Nomore. 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
2825 Not anywhere near what a child can expect to earn in 2043. 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
2826 maybe our baby will think money grows on mobiles 1.1023 0.03249 88 79 9 0
2827 Sky is the limit, honey! 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
2828 Ok,ok, so the bags are full of bottle caps and the bills fake, not worth the paper they're printed on. Sue me for trying, honey. Like there’s a difference. 1.1023 0.03972 88 81 5 2
2829 We have to be realistic, honey! 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
2830 If my plan works, we'll be able to retire in no time. 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
2831 Well how else will we teach him about capitalism? 1.1013 0.04261 79 73 4 2
2832 How do you expect our child to invest in crypto when the first thing he sees is this old thing?! 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
2833 It’s to teach her trickle down economics. 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
2834 My kid needs to be focused on the prize from the get-go. 1.1013 0.04627 79 74 2 3
2835 It's got this life like feature, you can never grab it, it just stays out of reach. 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
2836 Its a thougt train proccess , we can stop right now Its started from the firest date remember who paid ? 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
2837 Student debt is getting out of hand 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
2838 Well we could start our kid early in tennis or golf but let’s try finance. 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
2839 Something for her to look up to when she realizes how abysmal we are as parents 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
2840 It’s never too early to start saving for retirement. 1.1011 0.03929 89 82 5 2
2841 Why did you replace the video game controllers? 1.1011 0.03929 89 82 5 2
2842 See, Honey, we gotta Envision the Future for the Little One It's our Parental Duty. 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
2843 To provide context for all the crypto bros fairytales 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
2844 I think the name Elon has more cachet that Mark or Jeff 1.1011 0.03929 89 82 5 2
2845 I’ve pimped our crib! 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
2846 The ad said it stimulates their sense of fiscal responsibility. It better – damn thing cost a fortune. 1.1011 0.03589 89 81 7 1
2847 What is it? It’s our retirement home in Florida. That’s what it is! 1.1011 0.03589 89 81 7 1
2848 And I suppose you bought her a silver spoon too! 1.1011 0.03929 89 82 5 2
2849 I want him to get accustomed to the fact that it will always be just out of reach. 1.1011 0.03929 89 82 5 2
2850 Ok fine I’ll take it back, but the crypto crypt mattress stays! 1.1011 0.03929 89 82 5 2
2851 The box said that it worked for the mother of Elon Musk, but for some reason I think that it influenced him later to buy Twitter. 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
2852 Better over the mattress than under it. 1.1000 0.03887 90 83 5 2
2853 International banking is too a recipe for happiness. 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
2854 Planets? You can't buy a planet. 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
2855 You scoff now, but when she helps us in our retirement, you can thank me for her fondness of wealth. 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
2856 For our next little Supreme Court Justice 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
2857 Well. It worked on you ….. 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
2858 this will give our kid a leg up to learn about whats really important in life! 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
2859 Are you sure you want our baby to be so pecuniary? 1.1000 0.03551 90 82 7 1
2860 It will inspire him, and remind him how expensive he is. 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
2861 Get rid of that Bitcoin in the center. 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
2862 How else will she achieve the American Dream?? 1.1000 0.03333 100 91 8 1
2863 i hope this will make our child support us when we are old. 1.1000 0.03551 90 82 7 1
2864 this is the ONLY way to raise a child nowadays gotta put the right thoughts in their head as early as possible. 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
2865 Its called cribtocurrency. 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
2866 Of course it’ll work! In a way, having children will save us money. 1.1000 0.03551 90 82 7 1
2867 This should balance our budget ! 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
2868 ... and if it's a girl, we'll name her 'Elona.' 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
2869 I know it’s old school money but the Cryptocurrency would be destined to fall. 1.1000 0.03887 90 83 5 2
2870 X-12MechanicusXtreme is simply going to love it. 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
2871 I saw it on tik tok 1.1000 0.03887 90 83 5 2
2872 Honey you’ve got to stop accepting gifts from your old boss, Senator Menendez 1.1000 0.04210 80 74 4 2
2873 Mabel, it's never too early to learn about aspiration. 1.0990 0.02987 101 91 10 0
2874 I think we should name her, ∂¬-16ƒ" 1.0990 0.02987 101 91 10 0
2875 Capitalism begins in the crib” 1.0989 0.03513 91 83 7 1
2876 Look, I just want to get ahead of all the anti-capitalist propaganda she will hear in preschool. 1.0989 0.03513 91 83 7 1
2877 Well, you're right. It might be too early for Crypto, but otherwise I think it's just fine 1.0989 0.03513 91 83 7 1
2878 I'm manifesting her ability to take care of us in our old age. 1.0989 0.04151 91 85 3 3
2879 I bought this at the Elon Musk's yard sale. 1.0989 0.03845 91 84 5 2
2880 It’s never too early to expose children to greed! 1.0989 0.03845 91 84 5 2
2881 I wonder if we're trying to get too early a start on teaching the baby financial literacy? 1.0989 0.03513 91 83 7 1
2882 You gotta pick: Winnebago or Winnababy! 1.0989 0.03147 91 82 9 0
2883 I'm ready,..are you? 1.0989 0.03147 91 82 9 0
2884 It's what Goldman Sachs gives all new parents 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
2885 'Reaching' won't do anymore. Our first-born needs to GRASP, GRASP, GRASP!! TAKE, TAKE, TAKE! ME-ME-ME! NOW-NOW-NOW!! 1.0988 0.04159 81 75 4 2
2886 If it's a boy, let's name him "Wharton!" 1.0988 0.04159 81 75 4 2
2887 With inflation over time, Pennies from Heaven won't amount to much. 1.0988 0.04515 81 76 2 3
2888 Every child should learn what's most important in life. 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
2889 It’s never too soon to learn about money 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
2890 Stop, Jonathan. Your mother played classical music and you still turned out an angry mess. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
2891 It'll be just our luck to have a kid whose reach exceeds his grasp. 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
2892 I spell stork with a capital $. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
2893 Have you any idea how much longer my socks last wearing these steel toe-capped office slippers? 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
2894 How's our little Warren doing? 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
2895 Wharton awaits! 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
2896 I am hoping it'll be a capitalist 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
2897 I know what you said about the bumblebee mobile. But we have to innately lay the ground work that it’s not all about blockchain. 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
2898 Will be something to get the child’s attention” 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
2899 Mr. and Mrs. Trump preparing the nursery for little Donald. 1.0988 0.04159 81 75 4 2
2900 Will this cover us if it's twins? 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
2901 How long do you think it'll take until we can quit our jobs? 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
2902 If this doesn't put her to sleep, I'll read to her about foreign exchange rates. 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
2903 It's one of three prototypes I've designed. The others feature symbols of the Euro and the Yen. 1.0986 0.04555 71 66 3 2
2904 Com'on , let's be realistic. 1.0986 0.04555 71 66 3 2
2905 It’s for motivation! 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
2906 Might as well teach them early that a living wage will always be out of their reach 1.0980 0.03271 102 93 8 1
2907 The sooner she understands what makes it all go round, the better. 1.0978 0.03477 92 84 7 1
2908 Our retirement is riding on it. 1.0978 0.03477 92 84 7 1
2909 We need something to keep their attention" 1.0978 0.03114 92 83 9 0
2910 It worked for Elon Musk. 1.0978 0.03477 92 84 7 1
2911 This was less expensive than the name brand version. 1.0978 0.03114 92 83 9 0
2912 It'll teach them success is unreachable! 1.0978 0.03477 92 84 7 1
2913 I'm telling you, Elon is a perfect name. Telling X, too. 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
2914 She’ll look at some version of this her whole life and it will probably continue to be out of reach 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
2915 Couldn't we just add a little pussycat? 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
2916 So we agree on the name Ben Franklin? 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
2917 Is it too soon to raise a retro 90's greed monster newborn ? 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
2918 I couldn't figure out how to hang Bitcoin 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
2919 We need to keep little Gordon focused. Did you finish the embroidery on his “Greed is Good” blankie? 1.0976 0.04110 82 76 4 2
2920 Maybe I should have gotten the one with cows 1.0976 0.04110 82 76 4 2
2921 It’s never too early to start planning for retirement. 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
2922 Of course it’s aspirational. She’ll love it. 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
2923 You will notice there are four. She will be CEO of Fidelity, Vanguard, Janus, or American Funds. 1.0972 0.04493 72 67 3 2
2924 Alexander Calder, no Alexander Hamilton!! 1.0972 0.04493 72 67 3 2
2925 No worries. These eventually morph into credit cards. 1.0972 0.04493 72 67 3 2
2926 Mobile banking is all the rage nowadays. 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
2927 Greed makes the world go round, I say 'start 'em early.' 1.0968 0.03765 93 86 5 2
2928 I heard Elon Musk had one of these 1.0968 0.03441 93 85 7 1
2929 How else does one stimulate the senses of a late-stage capitalist baby? 1.0968 0.03441 93 85 7 1
2930 I can't wait to see Junior in there, playing with his blockchains. 1.0968 0.03441 93 85 7 1
2931 Think of our retirement. 1.0968 0.03765 93 86 5 2
2932 Junior’s gonna be counting something more productive than sheep. 1.0968 0.03765 93 86 5 2
2933 Ironic that this is the most expensive thing we own. 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
2934 If we want our baby to grow up gop, it has to understand that money is more important than anything else. 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
2935 gotta start 'em young. 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
2936 It’s programmed to play “It’s All about The Benjamin’s!” 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
2937 We need to replace these with hundred dollar bills 1.0964 0.04062 83 77 4 2
2938 Is this to help our baby go to sleep or to help you? 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
2939 The mobile will be Elon’s inspiration for future wealth and new company names. 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
2940 Our Chase Banker thinks of everything. 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
2941 We should add credit/debit cards. 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
2942 Don’t turn your nose up at it. It’ll come in handier one day than silly musical animals, or whatever. 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
2943 It was in the discount section. 1.0959 0.03981 73 67 5 1
2944 No one uses cash - let's set up an online account instead. 1.0957 0.03405 94 86 7 1
2945 No, just the opposite. The manufacturer claims this product is guaranteed to desensitize your child from the need to be a compulsive saver 1.0957 0.03405 94 86 7 1
2946 Might as well help the kid understand how out of reach it is right from the get-go. 1.0957 0.03051 94 85 9 0
2947 And we’re in agreement that the babies name will be Thurston Howell The Third?? 1.0957 0.03405 94 86 7 1
2948 I’m thinking Musk if it’s a girl and Bezos if it’s a boy. 1.0957 0.03051 94 85 9 0
2949 Just saying! Babies don't grow on trees! 1.0957 0.03405 94 86 7 1
2950 It is the same view from down if they were animals 1.0957 0.03405 94 86 7 1
2951 We need him thinking of money now so he can eventually start chipping in for his portion of the rent. 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
2952 This is what will happen to our budget because you forgot to take the pill 1.0952 0.04015 84 78 4 2
2953 It's for a child who is upwardly mobile. 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
2954 And we wonder why capitalism takes hold so powerfully in the lives and minds of young Americans. 1.0952 0.04015 84 78 4 2
2955 He’ll be a good investment. 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
2956 Since when do we want our kid believing trickle down economics is a good thing? 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
2957 It belonged to my great, great, great, great grandfather Scrooge. 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
2958 It's important to expose our baby to worship early on. 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
2959 Trust me, when they’re grown all banking will be mobile. 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
2960 We'll show the kid the extremes and leave the decision-making to the future. 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
2961 Have you priced the cost of baby toys lately? 1.0952 0.04015 84 78 4 2
2962 In awe of the wealth of love that's about to fill our lives. 1.0947 0.03021 95 86 9 0
2963 Well, what is he gonna learn from looking up at flying unicorns? 1.0947 0.03371 95 87 7 1
2964 Oh honey, you think of everything! 1.0947 0.03371 95 87 7 1
2965 I call it the mogul mobile. Little Donnie is going to love it. 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
2966 If our baby learns about the power of compound interest early, then she will be a millionaire by three. 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
2967 I hope this inspires some kidnappers to take the little brat off our hands! 1.0946 0.04375 74 69 3 2
2968 That's not what I meant when I said, we'll need the mobile money app to furnish the baby's room! 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
2969 Good eye — I’m not sure why there’s slack in the cord, either. 1.0946 0.04375 74 69 3 2
2970 Sure, you lost your inheritance, but I still say the nursery is no place to teach the "evils" of a reverse mortgage. 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
2971 It's the traditional model. None of that bitcoin nonsense. 1.0946 0.04375 74 69 3 2
2972 It’s from my uncle Donald. Do you like it? 1.0946 0.04375 74 69 3 2
2973 I took out the BitCoin like you asked. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
2974 Smells like teen spirit in here. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
2975 I bet this is how Ponzi schemes are born!! 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
2976 It's all about the Benjamins, baby! 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
2977 Maybe we should put this over our bed. 1.0941 0.03969 85 79 4 2
2978 Our baby will be accounting sheep in no time. -Taylor S. Boston, Mass 1.0941 0.03969 85 79 4 2
2979 Should I lower it just a little? 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
2980 It's more Gekko than Calder. 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
2981 I thought money flew out the window! 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
2982 It's important to learn early in life that money will dangle in front of you but always seem to be out of reach. 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
2983 Cash rules everything around me C.R.E.A.M., get the money Dollar dollar bill, y'all 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
2984 We'll let her know from day one how much raising her is going to cost us. 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
2985 Sooner rather than later they are going to have to learn the importance of a mobile device. 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
2986 Too Mercenary" 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
2987 It’s a Teslamobil - you need to plug it in every 5 hours 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
2988 My dad group recommended it. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
2989 I'm telling you nothing will put the baby to sleep faster than a mobile bank account. 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
2990 I gave in on the name 'Donald,' but this is overkill. 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
2991 This way,our child will learn her priorities right from the start 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
2992 It was your suggestion to find one that used a song from the ABBA songbook! 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
2993 This way he won't have to go into backbreaking labor, unlike you. 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
2994 The index fund mobile was sold out. 1.0930 0.03924 86 80 4 2
2995 It reaches down and grabs the baby only when childcare fees outpace our salaries. 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
2996 He's gonna be chasing after it his whole life anyway, might as well let him get used to it now. 1.0930 0.03924 86 80 4 2
2997 Ok you joke, but crib mobiles are expensive. Maisonette sells one that costs $2,266.50. It’s called the Symphony XL Mobile. Google it. Do you know how short a time a baby even uses a mobile!?! We’re all in the wrong industry. 1.0930 0.03558 86 79 6 1
2998 I can't believe this is what the creativity fee was for. 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
2999 Guess I need to get up and find a job 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
3000 And then stocks and bonds for our baby registry. 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
3001 Flying toy we go on holiday, money bags we open a bank account 1.0928 0.03614 97 90 5 2
3002 Oh,you said you had a"bun in the oven." I thought you said a "Ben in the oven." 1.0928 0.03304 97 89 7 1
3003 If it’s boy, we’ll name him Donald. A girl , Melania. 1.0928 0.02961 97 88 9 0
3004 Honey, this could turn him into a cradle robber! 1.0921 0.04262 76 71 3 2
3005 And what does that make me? 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
3006 They were sold out of Greenpeace mobiles. 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
3007 Someone has to make money to afford this house. 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
3008 Money makes the world go round, honey. 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
3009 Its not a great lesson, Sharon. Money never sleeps! 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
3010 I believed in wealth when I was little and I turned out alright 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
3011 Babies are expensive 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
3012 they have to be able to acclimate to capitalism well! 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
3013 Mo’biles Mo’problems 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
3014 Look, money makes the world go round, better to learn it early. 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
3015 What for, if we do not breed for success? 1.0920 0.03116 87 79 8 0
3016 You are not fooling me - - Biden is still a bigger A-HOLE than ever. Over and out with your stupid cartoons. 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
3017 I call it, "Tender Reveal." 1.0920 0.03116 87 79 8 0
3018 Okay the crib I get...but this is ridiculous. 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
3019 This needs to be saved for the college dorm. 1.0909 0.03837 88 82 4 2
3020 Never too early to learn values 1.0909 0.03480 88 81 6 1
3021 The world could use more investment bankers 1.0909 0.03480 88 81 6 1
3022 Trust me, we will make him dream about that which is more important for life. 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
3023 Warren Buffet says it's never too early to build financial intelligence. 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
3024 Change the mobile. We're switching to crypto currency. 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
3025 It’s a Money Mobile so she can learn right off the bat what is important! 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
3026 "Oh, so now we don't wanna do what Dave Ramsey says." 1.0909 0.03082 88 80 8 0
3027 Finance bro is a real job, Cheryl. 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
3028 In just a few years she’ll be telling us that cash is not a form of mobile payment. 1.0909 0.04208 77 72 3 2
3029 It’s to reassure him that he’s the reason our financial dreams are out of reach. 1.0909 0.03480 88 81 6 1
3030 He's gonna grow up to be our ticket out of this dump. 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
3031 Are you sure this is the most positive message to expose our Gen Alpha baby to? 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
3032 It's never too early to teach them what's important. 1.0909 0.03480 88 81 6 1
3033 Junior is gonna have a firm concept of money by the time he goes to college. 1.0909 0.03082 88 80 8 0
3034 Under the mattress, over the mattress ... a 9 month CD still has a better return. 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
3035 I guess you’ve given up on my ability to make money. 1.0909 0.03082 88 80 8 0
3036 Is this what you meant by "stock up on baby supplies"? 1.0909 0.03837 88 82 4 2
3037 Listen! What better reminder for all three of us of the paramountcy of the floating dollar rate! 1.0909 0.03082 88 80 8 0
3038 It's called an upwardlymoble mobile 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
3039 He’ll be reaching for something they can never attain. 1.0909 0.03837 88 82 4 2
3040 50% off… last year’s model. 1.0900 0.02876 100 91 9 0
3041 I predict your baby will be a banker or a bankrupt politician. 1.0899 0.03442 89 82 6 1
3042 It's actually an expression of how I feel. 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
3043 Not worries… every new child brings forth some blessing to their family 1.0899 0.03442 89 82 6 1
3044 I expect his first words will be "bye bye". 1.0899 0.03442 89 82 6 1
3045 She needs to learn to keep her eye on the prize. 1.0899 0.03442 89 82 6 1
3046 If it had been a girl, I'd have gone with lingerie. 1.0899 0.03795 89 83 4 2
3047 I’m telling you, this has to work… 1.0899 0.03442 89 82 6 1
3048 I'd like her to have an enriching childhood. 1.0899 0.03442 89 82 6 1
3049 When she’s out of nappies we can start on bitcoin 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
3050 I do too accept that I'll be flat broke for the next 30 years. 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
3051 It's not only the world that money makes go around. 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
3052 We can't start too soon ! 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
3053 Gotta get the kid interested in the right stuff. 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
3054 And the lawyer from Goldman, Goldstein and Goldfish will be the executor of the will. 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
3055 We'll get him working in big tech in months 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
3056 He'll learn to hold on to his money. 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
3057 He'll be a grassroot Trumpian like us: he'll see it, but he'll never get his hands on it. 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
3058 Let's hope the smell of money now pays big dividends in our Golden Years! 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
3059 Always keep your target in sight, baby girl. 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
3060 It’s either banking or an astronaut! I’m going for banking! 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
3061 I call it a 401(k)rib. 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
3062 In my defense... I didn't even know they made these! 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
3063 Nothing is better than the Little Tycoons brand. 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
3064 Just planning for our retirement 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
3065 THIS came today... from you know who! 1.0889 0.03017 90 82 8 0
3066 The Dow goes up The Dow goes down Just remember You my precious are NOT average 1.0889 0.03754 90 84 4 2
3067 I don't care how you tempt me – I'm not sleeping in that thing. 1.0889 0.03405 90 83 6 1
3068 Don’t you want her to have a dream job that pays? 1.0889 0.03754 90 84 4 2
3069 Honey, do you know how much did it cost me? 1.0889 0.03017 90 82 8 0
3070 With rent prices going up, we’re all gonna have to pull our weight around here 1.0889 0.03017 90 82 8 0
3071 Still want to move to Texas? 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
3072 So we're having a girl?! I wanted it to be a surprise! 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
3073 It's both educational and philosophical. 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
3074 He will know how money flies before he even hears about Amazon. 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
3075 I like the name Warren if it's a boy. 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
3076 This will teach her all about the IRS. 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
3077 Trust me...this will be the way we can retire early. 1.0886 0.04104 79 74 3 2
3078 What do you think? I'm debating whether or not to swap in a flying pig, you know, to really drive home for our baby the insurmountable odds of them ever being rich. But, I figure it's OK to dream. 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
3079 We should prepare the kid for things that will always be out of reach. 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
3080 It's never too soon to start hyponotic suggestion. 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
3081 Mo money, mo-bile? Get it? Y’know, like, mo money, mo problems?” “I want a divorce, Jim. 1.0886 0.04104 79 74 3 2
3082 Now we can all lie awake thinking of tuition, fees, room and board. 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
3083 We’re starting earlier than the critical developmental stage Bernie Madoff proposed. 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
3084 You'll see. It'll be nurture over nature. 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
3085 Do you have any idea how many leprechauns I had to kick for this? 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
3086 I bought it using a mobile cash app. 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
3087 No, you can't keep it. It's our nest egg, and you're my kickstarter! 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
3088 Do you think it should play the O’Jays or Pink Floyd? 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
3089 Trust me, the earlier they learn the earlier they can save for our retirement 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
3090 The strike reached all the way to the toothfairy, 1.0882 0.04559 68 64 2 2
3091 Parenthood will totally be worth not having matching jet skis! 1.0879 0.03369 91 84 6 1
3092 It's the college choice mobile - the bags of money are Ivy League schools, the ones with wings are State Universities. 1.0879 0.03714 91 85 4 2
3093 Just to encourage him to start saving for his own kids. 1.0879 0.02985 91 83 8 0
3094 y'know that saying about eating the rich. 1.0879 0.03369 91 84 6 1
3095 It’ll be more inspiring that birds ,planes and unicorns 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
3096 Having a baby? How expensive is it really? 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
3097 Just think: he will see this day & night, for maybe 3 years! What a trip! What a chance to have a great banker join our family 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
3098 He'll learn right away to keep his eye on the prize. 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
3099 You can’t start teaching money management too young. 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
3100 Hey, it better than counting sheep! 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
3101 Where's the Mobile? I thought you said get a Money Pile! 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
3102 I have finished baby proofing our hopes and our dreams. 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
3103 You said you wanted our kids to experience the American Dream. 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
3104 Let it be just out of reach for her as it’s always been for us. 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
3105 No euros? No bitcoin? Let's put him in stasis until you come to your senses. 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
3106 We should have bought the cheaper one. 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
3107 I hope she becomes an economist. 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
3108 He's got to learn early, Alice, that not everything can be non-fungible. 1.0870 0.02954 92 84 8 0
3109 But, it’s the American way! 1.0870 0.02954 92 84 8 0
3110 Starting to save for his/her first pair of Air Jordan. 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
3111 I can't believe the hospital has one of these "spin the wheel for 10% off" things. 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
3112 Ok, I stuck those crypto symbols on the ceiling. 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
3113 We have to start him early on defending capitalism. 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
3114 It's never too early to Sing a Song of Sixpence. 1.0864 0.04374 81 77 1 3
3115 Check it out, it's the “Greenback Boogie” Mobile! 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
3116 We're not going to just hand it to him...he's going to wait until he's this tall. 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
3117 It's never too early to think about being upwardly mobile. 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
3118 Our little robber baron will adore his moola moola mobile 1.0864 0.04005 81 76 3 2
3119 I’m telling ya, it’s never too soon to start aligning one’s values. 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
3120 What…? I thought that would keep him busy for at least 5 minutes! 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
3121 If it's a boy, we'll name him GOoP. If it's a girl, we'll call her DuNCe. 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
3122 Don’t worry, he definitely won’t be able to reach it. 1.0864 0.04005 81 76 3 2
3123 If it’s a girl, of course, we take back a few wings. 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
3124 Consider it a retirement investment. 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
3125 With the current state of my stock options, this is the only business school we’ll be able to afford. 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
3126 In this economy can’t start them too early! 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
3127 I hope it is inspirational enough to someday make enough money to pay for this crib. 1.0860 0.02923 93 85 8 0
3128 It’s to remind him of what we gave up 1.0860 0.03299 93 86 6 1
3129 Oh, the spreadsheets we’re gonna do together” 1.0860 0.03299 93 86 6 1
3130 It will teach him that money is always just out of reach. 1.0857 0.04432 70 66 2 2
3131 When you said we need to get a mobile, I thought of social mobility. 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
3132 Were it a boy, you would have seen at least four sports represented. 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
3133 ITS ANOTHERE WAY TO TEACH HIM OR HER THE BIRDS AND THE BEES. 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
3134 Kindergarten at 1; elementary by 4; middle school by six…if we can motivate him to finish his residency by 16, I think our see-America-by-RV timetable still works. 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
3135 Well, how would YOU suggest we encourage her to GET THAT CHEDDAR!? 1.0857 0.04432 70 66 2 2
3136 Gotta teach ‘em young that money makes the world turn.” 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
3137 We will call him, Hunter 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
3138 This is the plan,Start our child off loving money so we won 1.0854 0.03557 82 76 5 1
3139 His 529 college savings plan will be a stretch for him. 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
3140 You're making it sound as if capitalism in infancy is a bad thing. 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
3141 We will dress them in green! 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
3142 I still think we should've gone with the political figures mobile. 1.0854 0.03557 82 76 5 1
3143 I'm not opposed to evolution. I just don't want to bankroll it! 1.0854 0.03957 82 77 3 2
3144 Just wanted the baby to know the college fund left with FTX. 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
3145 It plays "Hot Cross Buns," with a 2023 currency equivalent. 1.0854 0.04321 82 78 1 3
3146 Whatever it cost, I'm sure it will be worth it for the future. 1.0854 0.03557 82 76 5 1
3147 I's called thought retention. 1.0854 0.03557 82 76 5 1
3148 She might drop out of day care to run a crypto exchange 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
3149 I was targeted on Instagram. 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
3150 I got the baby a Manifesting Mobile. 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
3151 One never start dreaming too young. 1.0854 0.03557 82 76 5 1
3152 No! I told you - we need a riding mower! 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
3153 Depending on his aim, we may need to do some money laundering. 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
3154 I just didn’t like the work-life balance mobile 1.0845 0.04370 71 67 2 2
3155 Alan Greenspan sent it with this note: 'Your baby will develop a sense of fiscal responsibility by staring at this spinning mobile representing the cyclical nature of inflation.' 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
3156 You do want him to be a successful actuary, right? 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
3157 We gotta teach the new baby well......money talks! 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
3158 Hey, you're the one who insisted on naming him Buck. 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
3159 The mobile is more than room decor, it is an indispensable educational tool. 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
3160 It’s the latest from Baby Roy 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
3161 In this market we gotta start them early. 1.0845 0.04370 71 67 2 2
3162 this is not going to be cheap 1.0843 0.03069 83 76 7 0
3163 Are we there yet? 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
3164 Now Johnny will be guaranteed to become a country music star 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
3165 We must teach our kid to work while they sleep! 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
3166 Where did you get this mobile and how much was it?….Please stop sing She’s a Million Dollar Baby! 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
3167 Honey, it's my tribute to Alexander Calder...I'm calling it Mobile Cash. 1.0842 0.03561 95 89 4 2
3168 Look, the kid's gotta learn the value of a dollar sooner or later. 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
3169 It helps the wee of today become the wealthy of tomorrow. Gives them something to reach for. It's called an ExxonMobile. 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
3170 Build that Identity! 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
3171 You said you needed money for the baby! 1.0833 0.04311 72 68 2 2
3172 Should we really be leaning into her Taurus sign this much? 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
3173 It's a visual metaphor for all our money flying away soon. 1.0833 0.03474 84 78 5 1
3174 I want him to realize money does not grow on trees. 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
3175 Can we do a reverse sonogram of this? Never too soon to start priming the pump! 1.0833 0.03474 84 78 5 1
3176 The baby needs to keep his eyes on the prize! 1.0833 0.03474 84 78 5 1
3177 He's a little capitalist, hun. 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
3178 It’s called manifesting…and you have to start them young! 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
3179 It's called Planned what makes The World go round Carrot-ing . .. 1.0824 0.02999 85 78 7 0
3180 ECI: Early childhood indoctrination 1.0824 0.03821 85 80 3 2
3181 What do you want, another Sam Bankman-Fried? 1.0824 0.03821 85 80 3 2
3182 Our future retirement plans are secure! 1.0824 0.02999 85 78 7 0
3183 Would you like to see my impression of Jeremy Irons doing his impression of Claus von Bülow doing his impression of Queen Victoria? 1.0824 0.03435 85 79 5 1
3184 Yesterday’s costs were covered by pennies, today’s costs are covered by bills, and tomorrow’s costs will be covered by the inflationary bubble. 1.0824 0.03435 85 79 5 1
3185 I'm just planning for our future. 1.0824 0.02999 85 78 7 0
3186 Yes, but the proceeds from THIS lottery go to fund education. 1.0824 0.03435 85 79 5 1
3187 I figure we combine becoming parents with a retirement plan. 1.0824 0.03435 85 79 5 1
3188 Trust me. It used to belong to Fred Trump! 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
3189 And this doesn't include college... 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
3190 Just how much did you have to donate to Trump to get this one? 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
3191 He will need some way to pay for all of those visions of sugar plums. 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
3192 The sooner she learns, the better. 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
3193 I want him to feel that he is entitled from birth. 1.0822 0.04253 73 69 2 2
3194 It is never too early to learn that money makes the world go round 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
3195 He'll be an expert in mobile banking! 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
3196 If it's a boy, let's call him 'Cash,' and if it's a girl, let's call her 'Crypta. 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
3197 This way he’ll always look up to high finance startups. 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
3198 Its called baby-led winnings 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
3199 She will catch on - a blink rolls over her Roth IRA, a yawn balances her portfolio allocations and when she cries the WealthWaltzer croons, 'Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what stocks are.' Just make sure she's laid facing the trading monitors so the camera can gauge her market moods. 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
3200 Where does your Uncle Beev shop?!? 1.0814 0.03396 86 80 5 1
3201 A Goldman Sachs investment banker to take care of us when we're old is my back-up plan if Social Security goes bankrupt. 1.0814 0.03396 86 80 5 1
3202 Dollar bills? Bags of money? Where's the crypto? What about the blockchain? 1.0814 0.03777 86 81 3 2
3203 The dad only cared about money 1.0814 0.03396 86 80 5 1
3204 What it inculcates is that bread refuses to fall into your lap, hence life is about toil. 1.0814 0.02966 86 79 7 0
3205 When he grows up, he'll keep us very comfortable. 1.0814 0.02966 86 79 7 0
3206 Consider it as our retirement plan. 1.0814 0.03396 86 80 5 1
3207 As we go on, we remember, all the times we spent together…. 1.0814 0.03396 86 80 5 1
3208 When we give him the final bill on his 18th birthday, this will have eased him into the idea 1.0814 0.03396 86 80 5 1
3209 Guaranteed, this will get our child focused on a career in banking 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
3210 If he can't pull himself up - that's on him. 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
3211 Nah, I don't need a trademark. Who else is gonna come up with 'Mobile Bank'? 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
3212 It's for me -- to get used to the real stuff flying out of here for next twenty something years! 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
3213 We will attach it to ceiling once he gets taller! 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
3214 We could call him "Dollar Bill"! 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
3215 Hey honey, you don't happen to own a bank, do you? 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
3216 Let's name him after Johnny? 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
3217 This little piggy goes to market. Not the planetarium, the zoo or some such! 1.0811 0.04197 74 70 2 2
3218 Look, it's never too early to think about our retirement. 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
3219 Look, if you really want our kid to be a lawyer, this is the way to teach 'em." 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
3220 Sliver spoons are on back-order 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
3221 I don’t know the baby yet, but this is what I’ve been eagerly chasing in my life so far. Hope he likes it… 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
3222 It plays that ABBA song you like. 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
3223 Our child will invest in their dreams, by golly! 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
3224 'I got it free with my paternity loan' 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
3225 I'm a Republican AND a realist. 1.0808 0.03105 99 92 6 1
3226 The "Fred Trump" also has skyscrapers, but it's out of stock. 1.0805 0.03358 87 81 5 1
3227 What’s wrong with being materialistic? 1.0805 0.03358 87 81 5 1
3228 SORRY I believe in upwards mobility, Cassidy! 1.0805 0.03358 87 81 5 1
3229 Just in case he can't get a Wharton MBA 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
3230 It's never too early to get her thinking about retirement. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
3231 So we agree ... it doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl or as long as he or she is an investment banker. 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
3232 It was on sale for $99.99 @ MAGA.com. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
3233 It's about mercenary not nursery! 1.0800 0.03387 100 94 4 2
3234 He'll be singing 'Money Makes the World Go Round' in no time. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
3235 We’ll name him Ira. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
3236 It's kind of a moneystory preschool thing. No? 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
3237 I did it for the Benjamins, our twins. 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
3238 If we print these in Black and White, their brain will be trained to focus on the Money! 1.0800 0.04142 75 71 2 2
3239 What a terrible joke gift! Surely, they're exaggerating... 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
3240 Colors? Birds? Let's cut to the chase. This kid's our ticket to avoid warehousing. 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
3241 And the best feature is you can program it to play Make A Buck, Baby all night instead of Rock-A-Bye. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
3242 The store said it would eventually pay for itself … 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
3243 It's; " A fool and his money are soon parted." , mobile. Isn't it great ?!?! Bought it at the Craft fair for only $299.95 ! 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
3244 They call it pre-professional training for the goo-goo set. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
3245 This is our backup retirement plan. 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
3246 We are having a crypto baby, right? 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
3247 With any luck he’ll be a lawyer. 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
3248 Trust me, Lisa, there's nothing more comforting than financial stability. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
3249 I thought you liked Lana Del Rey and Alexander Calder. 1.0800 0.04142 75 71 2 2
3250 I can tell by looking at ya, it wasn't about the money. 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
3251 Donald Jr. is going to start out right! 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
3252 Boy or girl we now can be sure YOU are a Material Girl 1.0795 0.03321 88 82 5 1
3253 Do you think this will make her a Trumper when she grows up? 1.0795 0.02901 88 81 7 0
3254 With the cost of raising kids these days, might as well start working the guilt early. 1.0795 0.03321 88 82 5 1
3255 Maybe I can add a house and a degree ... 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
3256 I got the idea from a Nirvana album cover. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
3257 Even if he is the new Dali Lama this will be good training. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
3258 When you are the head of a Fortune Five Hundred company you feel like you live in a fish bowl. 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
3259 It's the latest baby gift for middle class families- it helps babies learn early that financial wealth and stability are out of their reach. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
3260 Just because you want something pretty… 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
3261 I know it can't buy her love, but it can take care of everything else. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
3262 It's up to us to shape her values and goals. 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
3263 Let’s hope that money can actually change everything. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
3264 I told you the sperm bank charges too much interest. 1.0789 0.04088 76 72 2 2
3265 I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's Republican. 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
3266 Imprinting my values is important to me. 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
3267 Just so he/she learns early what's important in life. 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
3268 It's called "Growth Baiting" 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
3269 By that time, it will all be robot money and gold bars 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
3270 I know money never sleeps but having it around ensures Junior will rest in comfort. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
3271 He gets the trust fund at eighteen, but he can still admire it. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
3272 Maybe T-bills make more sense in this economy. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
3273 It’ll be perfect for Benjamin. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
3274 I want her to focus on what really matters. 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
3275 Time flies but money rotates. 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
3276 It only cost six ducks! 1.0787 0.02870 89 82 7 0
3277 My stockbroker sent it. 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
3278 Time to make a business decision 1.0781 0.04049 64 60 3 1
3279 I want our child to start young and know the value of money. 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
3280 You're the one who said you were worried that our kid might be a failure. 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
3281 Let's start at the very beginning. 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
3282 It was a gift from the privilege-reveal party. 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
3283 It was either this or Mozart's music..... 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
3284 Do you have a better idea for our retirement ? 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
3285 You can never start too early teaching your children about finances. 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
3286 So, when I said the baby should dream big, I didn't mean this... 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
3287 Forget Ferberize, let's monetize I know it's not crypto, but at least it's a starter currency It's a new method called Baby Hamilton At least their math will be mathing 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
3288 What do you think? Maybe it'll help set the direction for getting a good scholarship for that extra-special kindergarten program...? 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
3289 Baby Elon is going to eat this up! 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
3290 Just giving our future hedge fund manager a head start. 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
3291 He's going to have to learn to pull his weight around here even at an early age. 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
3292 Look, Honey, it'll be both decorative and functional--for you and the baby! 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
3293 The crypto ones just weren't visible. 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
3294 I can't say this is what I had in mind when I said I wanted to invest in an automobile for our kid. 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
3295 At least little Elon will have one thing he loves. 1.0779 0.04036 77 73 2 2
3296 We agreed to point our kids to politics, do you have a better idea? 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
3297 What? It's what makes the world go round Margaret." 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
3298 Let's get this kid's head screwed on straight from the get-go. 1.0778 0.02839 90 83 7 0
3299 I can’t even imagine how much he’s going to have to pay for streaming services. 1.0769 0.03543 78 73 4 1
3300 Let's just try it and see what happens. 1.0769 0.03543 78 73 4 1
3301 Cheap bastard! 1.0769 0.02809 91 84 7 0
3302 It's subliminal. This way she'll think we have money, but she can't get to it! 1.0769 0.03543 78 73 4 1
3303 Did we win the powerball? Let me check the tickets before you go into labor. 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
3304 We want to instill values at a young age 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
3305 I got it on sale at Das babies R us 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
3306 She will grow up to be a bank teller. 1.0769 0.03543 78 73 4 1
3307 It may be a cashless society but it’s still based on money. 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
3308 It’s never too early to start religious instruction 1.0769 0.03985 78 74 2 2
3309 I know it’s a broken dream but we have to start this baby. early if there is any hope for the future. 1.0769 0.03985 78 74 2 2
3310 It will teach her to think twice before having her first child 1.0769 0.03543 78 73 4 1
3311 Now, that’ll make him an investment banker. 1.0769 0.03543 78 73 4 1
3312 It’s never to early to teach them how quickly money flys away. 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
3313 Are you going to keep the money or are you going to burn it? 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
3314 They'll learn that if you want what's important in this life you just have to stand up and reach for it. 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
3315 Hey! This is the first step on the road retirement…manifest money! 1.0769 0.03988 65 61 3 1
3316 My therapist said I needed a creative outlet for all the financial guilt my parents projected onto me as a child. 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
3317 If it's a boy, let's name him cash! 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
3318 This will encourage the baby to study harder for a scholarship. 1.0769 0.03543 78 73 4 1
3319 Is this for our child’s development or a reminder of what the crib cost? 1.0769 0.03543 78 73 4 1
3320 Teaching him early that the best things in life will always be just a little out of reach. 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
3321 Who said that pregnancy was only to produce offspring? 1.0761 0.03536 92 87 3 2
3322 It gets them used to student loan debt. 1.0759 0.03499 79 74 4 1
3323 Well, they say time is money so eventually... 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
3324 to dream..... the American dream 1.0759 0.03499 79 74 4 1
3325 Well, someone's got to be the breadwinner in this household! 1.0759 0.03499 79 74 4 1
3326 With inflation these days, I figured this is cheaper 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
3327 The Crypto version had nothing but strings. 1.0759 0.03936 79 75 2 2
3328 She'll either learn to manage money or spend more time with Aunt Doreen. 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
3329 I want my child to know that temptation should always be out of reach! 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
3330 It goes by so fast. 1.0759 0.03499 79 74 4 1
3331 So we agree, we’ll call him Sam and hyphenate the last names to Bankman-Fried? 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
3332 Now that's contingent reinforcement! 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
3333 Where did this come from? Where's MY $ ? Do I have to be born again to get it? 1.0759 0.03499 79 74 4 1
3334 Honey, you know this is an investment of time…and money, right?” “Oh that’s a wonderful name—Tyme Monét” “Ugh you’re ridiculous, I just want our baby to have a normal name” “Oh that’s beautiful, Norma Mal! 1.0759 0.03936 79 75 2 2
3335 Are you sure this cell will be big enough to imprison the former president? 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
3336 Benjamin needs to learn what it’s all about. 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
3337 The “ring of fire” bathed eight American states, Mexico and a number of Central American countries in astronomical awe before its final act in Colombia and Brazil. 1.0758 0.04483 66 63 1 2
3338 I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as it’s rich. 1.0758 0.03929 66 62 3 1
3339 It’s the latest in mobile banking. 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
3340 I was going to add Bitcoin but that seemed like too much. 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
3341 This will help Junior know right from the start that concentrating on what matters means success for the future” 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
3342 I could swap it out for an NFT if you prefer? 1.0750 0.03887 80 76 2 2
3343 I refuse to argue! Money is twice as important today-A fortune to get into ivy league business schools and another to hire lawyers to keep out of prison. 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
3344 If it's a boy, I was thinking we could name him Elon. 1.0750 0.03456 80 75 4 1
3345 We should have used bitcoins. 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
3346 I feel your pain. 1.0750 0.03456 80 75 4 1
3347 It doesn't matter what the birth chart will be, this is the only sign that matters! 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
3348 Until pigs fly.” 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
3349 Skip unicorns, rainbows and kitties. This is real! 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
3350 We'll name her Goldie if it's a girl and Buck if it's a boy. 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
3351 It's the time we ("we" as in Never too soon.) 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
3352 Once she learns what is important in life she will find the rich husband 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
3353 Someone in this family has to make some money. 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
3354 In real life the money just flies out the window! 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
3355 Richie if the baby's a boy; Goldie if it's a boy. 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
3356 I can't believe they call this thing the 'Cash Carousel' when 'Upwardly Mobile' was right there. 1.0750 0.03887 80 76 2 2
3357 this should encourage him to work for a living. 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
3358 By the time the baby arrives we may be millionaires “ 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
3359 No! I don't care if it is the original mobile that Fred Trump got for his son! 1.0750 0.03456 80 75 4 1
3360 Yes,yes..of course I took a gander at Gucci and peered at Prada but I do think this is definitely much more us 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
3361 I hope it's a billionaire. 1.0750 0.03456 80 75 4 1
3362 Did I rob the cradle or what, honey. #soontobedadjokes 1.0750 0.03456 80 75 4 1
3363 You want to call the kid Gekko, so I figured this is the least I could do. 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
3364 Gotta teach 'em early about mobile investing. 1.0746 0.03871 67 63 3 1
3365 It's important that the baby develop the right values. 1.0746 0.03871 67 63 3 1
3366 Due to inflation, this was cheaper than buying a new baby mobile. 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
3367 If you've got any better retirement strategies I'm all ears. 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
3368 It's time to start thinking about our retirement." 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
3369 Here are the first few contributions to her college fund!" 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
3370 Don’t worry, even if he’s late he’ll stay under the budget. 1.0741 0.03415 81 76 4 1
3371 She will be the next Elon. 1.0741 0.03415 81 76 4 1
3372 Now focus hard on it while you caress your tummy - that'll surely get him to CEO by age 30. 1.0741 0.03415 81 76 4 1
3373 It’s a good way to train them early, that our money is out of their reach. 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
3374 Wonder how long before we can switch to piñata 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
3375 Why are trying to give us mo' problems? 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
3376 All kinds of things make the world go round 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
3377 I got it from E-babies. 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
3378 in this economy... 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
3379 Elon Musk may be jealous! 1.0737 0.03082 95 89 5 1
3380 Don't worry, Honey. It will help prepare her to reach for the true meaning of life.” 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
3381 Yep, an original Banksy. And there’s a painting in the bathroom of Paris Hilton as Joan of Arc. Remind me again, Marianne— Who’s a man-baby with the political awareness of one of Russell Brand’s dumbest farts? 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
3382 I made it myself with the money we'll save by sending him to public school. 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
3383 It plays Twinkle Twinkle Little Swiss Bank Account 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
3384 At least she’ll get a sense for the fluctuations of the Stock Market. 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
3385 Our best old-age insurance. 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
3386 Start compounding from the cradle 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
3387 Mommy I’m hungry, money please! 1.0732 0.03374 82 77 4 1
3388 It's the 'Lullaby and Sell' model, for future Wall St. whizzes. 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
3389 We are bearing a huge dream. 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
3390 I say we go with Bezos Family Values. 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
3391 I think we should name this baby “Donald.” 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
3392 It’ll teach them about high prices 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
3393 He might as well get used to our arguments about your spending habits. 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
3394 And yet we find that the debt ceiling hangs over future generations… 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
3395 Try to concentrate on this makeshift chandelier. I guarantee it will make you money hungry. 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
3396 I think the mobile is perfect for Monopoleigh, Jan. 1.0725 0.03761 69 65 3 1
3397 An Alexander Cashder original. Not as famous as Calder but affordable. 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
3398 It’s literal inflation. 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
3399 I told you putting it on the registry was a good idea! 1.0725 0.03761 69 65 3 1
3400 maybe we should of thought of this before... 1.0723 0.03334 83 78 4 1
3401 You can never start inspiring them too soon. 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
3402 Lets Call Him Elon 1.0723 0.03334 83 78 4 1
3403 I just saw my psychiatrist and she told me our environment also helps shape our genes. 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
3404 I’m training him to become a hedge fund CEO so he can take care of us in our old age. 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
3405 We can use all the cash we can find so the baby may as well know what to look for while crawling around. 1.0723 0.03334 83 78 4 1
3406 "Is Elon really kicking when we do this? 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
3407 This will teach him,(or her) the importance of a real goal. 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
3408 It might inspire Louise to earn her own way through day care. 1.0714 0.03295 84 79 4 1
3409 I don’t think it’s too early for him to see that money for college is simply going to be out of reach. 1.0714 0.02827 84 78 6 0
3410 If we want our baby learn to talk quickly, they need to hear the right voices! 1.0714 0.02827 84 78 6 0
3411 Cradle to gra…uhm….graduate school! 1.0714 0.03709 70 66 3 1
3412 Don’t you think it’s wrong to idealise something we don’t have? 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
3413 Never can prepare too early for retirement! 1.0714 0.03295 84 79 4 1
3414 This is perfect for the baby we’ll kidnap! 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
3415 You were okay when I named him Rich. 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
3416 Trust me, when the baby comes, money will fly… 1.0714 0.03709 70 66 3 1
3417 It's much more practical than those butterflies. 1.0714 0.03295 84 79 4 1
3418 A banker son is our only way to retirement. 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
3419 Nobody tells you how expensive a kid is 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
3420 It's important to me that he still believes in the American Dream 1.0714 0.02827 84 78 6 0
3421 I am sick of you farting all the time! 1.0707 0.02961 99 93 5 1
3422 It's all gonna be Bitcoin by the time she graduates. 1.0706 0.03257 85 80 4 1
3423 Are we planting seeds that dispel "love" makes the world go around? 1.0706 0.02795 85 79 6 0
3424 What better way to teach him to "grab the money and run?" 1.0706 0.03257 85 80 4 1
3425 It’s never too soon to learn. 1.0706 0.02795 85 79 6 0
3426 We can never start too early! 1.0706 0.03662 85 81 2 2
3427 This will only be here until I get the mobile for malignant narcissism finished! 1.0706 0.03257 85 80 4 1
3428 I'm OK with the paper money... it can fly away.....BUT the coins Are HEAVY - THEY COULD RATTLE & keep baby awake. 1.0706 0.02795 85 79 6 0
3429 Stocks have a better chance of paying us back. 1.0706 0.02795 85 79 6 0
3430 "Hold on! You can't have the baby until we have more coming in than going out!" 1.0706 0.02795 85 79 6 0
3431 I think little Jay (Powell) will love this inflation mobile. 1.0706 0.02795 85 79 6 0
3432 Oh please, of course baby Karl Marx will love it! 1.0706 0.02795 85 79 6 0
3433 Planet?.....no..... Instead these are Things that will always be out of her reach 1.0706 0.02795 85 79 6 0
3434 If she starts saving now, she can pay off her student loans by the time she's fifty. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
3435 So, you want our baby to chase money all their life? 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
3436 401 Kid, baby! 1.0704 0.03657 71 67 3 1
3437 These will last only until kindergarten 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
3438 This money-mobile will give baby an early nudge toward an MBA. 1.0704 0.03657 71 67 3 1
3439 Do you know how much a college education will cost in 2041? Do you? I'm just saying, this kid better focus on what's important from the get-go. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
3440 The kid should know what to look up to. 1.0704 0.03657 71 67 3 1
3441 Just babyproofed his portfolio—no way he messes up series I bonds. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
3442 Let's teach our kid to be a good Capitalist, always strive for what's just out of reach. 1.0704 0.03657 71 67 3 1
3443 So she can learn early it's out of reach. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
3444 Might as well tell them while they're young. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
3445 In this puzzling cartoon, the man is yelling at the snooty, pregnant woman, who has her nose in the air but isn't looking at the money-mobile, because the baby won't know the value of money until they're six. 1.0704 0.03657 71 67 3 1
3446 Mobile money 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
3447 But, what about the upcoming dollar collapse Frederick, my mother was right, you are dangerous " . Bang! 1.0704 0.03657 71 67 3 1
3448 Can this replace the bris? 1.0698 0.02763 86 80 6 0
3449 The ad said it would teach our toddler what raising children is really about. 1.0698 0.03220 86 81 4 1
3450 This way the baby will know that kidnapping isn't personal. 1.0698 0.02763 86 80 6 0
3451 They say play prepares the child for the future. 1.0698 0.02763 86 80 6 0
3452 And it plays Pink Floyd's Money when you wind it up! 1.0698 0.03220 86 81 4 1
3453 Oh honey, don't worry! I assure you it's just our life savings. 1.0698 0.03220 86 81 4 1
3454 The worth of a child in the modern day 1.0698 0.03220 86 81 4 1
3455 The bank of mum and dad has to open early this millennium 1.0694 0.03607 72 68 3 1
3456 You’re just now telling me you haven’t seen The Boss Baby? 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
3457 My love, I assure you that this early stimulation toy will greatly increase her/his chances of being a successful entrepreneur. 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
3458 I wonder if the pitch of the cries will be as high as the utility bills 1.0694 0.03607 72 68 3 1
3459 I'm saying that if we dangle this, he may grow up to be a finance bro. 1.0694 0.03607 72 68 3 1
3460 Then the baby's real father can change it, Margaret. I'm done. Goodbye forever, you lying whore. 1.0694 0.04114 72 69 1 2
3461 Do you think we should have gotten the crypto one instead? 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
3462 The financial podcasts programmed into the mobile will knock her out! 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
3463 Simple, if it's a boy...IRA. If it's a girl...Phillis Dollar. No?Joannie Cash! No?? Oo oo, how about...Jane's Bond!!! 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
3464 It needs to be slightly lower, so it can be kicked! Laura Miller, Lenoir,NC 1.0694 0.03607 72 68 3 1
3465 The only angels and demons this baby will know are the crisp green bills 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
3466 If this environment influences our child's future, the kid will end up on Wall Street or death row. 1.0694 0.03607 72 68 3 1
3467 Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, Or what's a heaven for?” #WellMeAndRobertBrownin 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
3468 Welcome to my crib! Get it? No? 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
3469 I want baby Venmo to grow up knowing about his roots. 1.0694 0.03607 72 68 3 1
3470 Visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads, humbug!" 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
3471 If I didn’t put it up there then you put it up there, and regardless, it’s not funny. This is ‘it’s’ bed, not mine. I’d have to be in a fetal position to fit here, and stop with the born again ramble right now! Please! Be! Serious!(…) 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
3472 This mobile has been in the family since we founded Mobile, Alabama. 1.0690 0.03184 87 82 4 1
3473 Do you even SEE the mobile I made with my misshapen arm?!?!?!? 1.0690 0.03184 87 82 4 1
3474 The sooner he learns whats fun in life, the better. 1.0690 0.03184 87 82 4 1
3475 Don’t you think that the two bars are going to confuse him? 1.0690 0.03184 87 82 4 1
3476 Trust me, little Elon will love it. 1.0685 0.03559 73 69 3 1
3477 I still think that Scrooge McDuck Smith is a good name. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
3478 Let's go all the way with this, and name the kid after Robert Menendez. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
3479 Is this really what we want him to dream about? 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
3480 I've never even heard of this Nirvana band, and I sure don't trust them around our baby! 1.0685 0.03559 73 69 3 1
3481 That's not the point, Margaret! Don't you understand, Epstein didn't kill himself! And further more... wait, where's Shelly? 1.0685 0.03559 73 69 3 1
3482 Of course you may expect compensation for any overtime labor. 1.0685 0.03559 73 69 3 1
3483 He has to learn about capitalism some time! 1.0685 0.03559 73 69 3 1
3484 The kids call it 'manifestation.' 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
3485 Oh shoot, my only job is to keep her OFF the stripper pole? 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
3486 And we'll name her Elon X 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
3487 Starting him Early to Save for our Retirement.. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
3488 Think of it as the 'nest egg' of our retirement plan. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
3489 Who knows? One day, he, too, may start his own company, make billions of dollars, lose it all, then be indicted for fraud. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
3490 Inflation won't last forever honey 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
3491 Picture this...millionaire baby 1.0685 0.03559 73 69 3 1
3492 Early training Early earning Brought to us by MontesORO philosophy 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
3493 Just look what it did for MY reach. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
3494 Knowing he’s financially independent will help him sleep at night. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
3495 Ryan and Claire would not be successful in their attempt to create a low-budget setting for their newborn child. After a few late nights, and some thoughtful decisions, their modern-day nursery turned into a state-of-the-art replica of the Hogsmeade village. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
3496 This way the baby will be day-dreaming with useful stuff. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
3497 I want our child to be a money hungry entrepreneur from day one. 1.0682 0.03539 88 84 2 2
3498 MTV Cribs says to float the money around the crib. 1.0682 0.03149 88 83 4 1
3499 Do you really need to let our baby know how much it's costing us? 1.0682 0.03539 88 84 2 2
3500 It's just until he can sit up and watch Selling Sunsets. 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
3501 Boy or girl, they will grow up to be a hedge fund manager. 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
3502 So, is it attached firmly enough to the ceiling for you now? 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
3503 He will grow up to be a Wall Street tycoon. 1.0676 0.03512 74 70 3 1
3504 It's never too soon to learn capitalism. It's the American way. 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
3505 Maybe her first word will be moolah. 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
3506 When elected to Congress, our child will be in the game for the MONEY! 1.0676 0.03512 74 70 3 1
3507 I wanted a crypto mobile but they all crashed and burned. 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
3508 I know your parents want him to become a financial planner someday, but isn't their campaign starting a bit early? 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
3509 How will we instill a worth ethic if he believes money falls from the heavens? 1.0676 0.03512 74 70 3 1
3510 First, we have to find the best Lamaze class. 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
3511 ... needs two flying Cryptos! 1.0676 0.03512 74 70 3 1
3512 Are you sure the Monopoly Man is the father? 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
3513 I know. But the returns will be worth it... 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
3514 We'll name him Donald--success guaranteed! 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
3515 I just feel like we need to start teaching personal finance from a young age. We don’t want her to fall behind. 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
3516 ...and I ordered the Lego Crypto set from Amazon... 1.0667 0.03952 75 72 1 2
3517 It seems almost perfect. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
3518 Coins in the crib were a "choking hazard". So what is wrong with this? 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
3519 This will prepare them for Squid Game. 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
3520 Just look at it as a down payment on our diaperless expectations. 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
3521 Never too early to learn that money doesn't grow on trees! 1.0667 0.03466 75 71 3 1
3522 Private, I can smell your cunt from down here! 1.0667 0.03466 75 71 3 1
3523 We are NOT raising our children according to your religion! 1.0667 0.03466 75 71 3 1
3524 No fairy tales here, this is the real deal! 1.0667 0.03466 75 71 3 1
3525 Look,it's not about capitalism,it's about being realistic. In this economy,we need our baby to want to make money. 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
3526 Our baby will grow up to be the next trillionaire honey. 1.0667 0.03466 75 71 3 1
3527 It’s not my fault! You said you wanted a pricy mobile. 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
3528 We need to add Jordan’s on here. 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
3529 Our kid will need to take care of us someday! 1.0659 0.02616 91 85 6 0
3530 Think of it as our golden years parachute. 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
3531 The ABCs :Always Be Closing. 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
3532 I thought I’d go with a student loans motif. 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
3533 Yes, I know.... children are expensive! 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
3534 They're never too young to learn how to inflate the value of their possessions. 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
3535 You’re the one who wanted to make the baby Kash. 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
3536 Capitalism is already starting to take effect. 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
3537 Simply because our last name is Walton and we live in Arkansas does not give Amazon the right to send this gift for our child! 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
3538 Not nearly enough for grad school tuition. 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
3539 You see them flying into the bags. I see them flying out! 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
3540 Does it scream ‘I-banker nepo baby?’ 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
3541 Sorry hon, but the hysterical pregnancy is all we can afford. 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
3542 The rise and grind doesn't stop, and ut needs to start somewhere 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
3543 We’ll call him Sam, then raise him to make piles of magic beans and money-coins. 1.0656 0.03959 61 58 2 1
3544 Alex Keaton, Jr. is going to love it…right? 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
3545 I'll agree to this, but we're definitely NOT naming him Elon! 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
3546 Just Another Occasion for Value Investing 1.0649 0.03377 77 73 3 1
3547 We have to come up with a song to go with this. 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
3548 What’s the name of the book you’ve been reading about raising kids? 1.0649 0.03377 77 73 3 1
3549 Don’t blame me, I wanted an abortion. 1.0649 0.03377 77 73 3 1
3550 You're looking at what will be her very first concept - spend a little and save a lot' 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
3551 Ugh, I specifically said 'Crypto,' not 'Nepo Baby'. 1.0649 0.03377 77 73 3 1
3552 Dollars alone won't do! 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
3553 This was Donald Trump’s 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
3554 When she's old enough to appreciate the mobile's social commentary, we'll give her the money...but only if she also agrees with what we intended the mobile's social commentary to be. 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
3555 I predict our child will someday be an upwardly mobile professional. 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
3556 Fascination with money starts in the cradle. 1.0649 0.03377 77 73 3 1
3557 But babe, this is how we get on MTV Cribs. 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
3558 My parents wanted me to be president. But I want Junior to manage a hedge fund! 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
3559 We're optimizing baby's development - numbers and counting skills before ABC's. 1.0649 0.03377 77 73 3 1
3560 I’m telling you, this is better than the safe box. 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
3561 It's what I call incentive aided development. 1.0645 0.03896 62 59 2 1
3562 This money mobile should brighten our babies future!!! 1.0645 0.03145 62 58 4 0
3563 I don't think it will do our little Donald any harm. 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
3564 Forget the "classical music for babies" soundtrack. This mobile is the real deal!! 1.0641 0.03335 78 74 3 1
3565 But RaybDallio says cash is trash. 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
3566 And then one day she'll decide to put her money to work! 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
3567 Good thing we secured our money to that hanger. 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
3568 Its never to early for imprinting.... 1.0641 0.03335 78 74 3 1
3569 Flying to buy condoms 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
3570 See I put it up here so the baby knows its unreachable 1.0641 0.03335 78 74 3 1
3571 You push then he’ll grab. Deal? 1.0641 0.03335 78 74 3 1
3572 A car would be too heavy, right? 1.0641 0.03335 78 74 3 1
3573 This should be enough to attract investors for the next round of funding. 1.0635 0.03835 63 60 2 1
3574 Hocus Pocus Focus. 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
3575 I can't wait for our baby to be delivered by the stonk. 1.0633 0.03293 79 75 3 1
3576 If they don't start diversifying their portfolio before their first birthday, they'll never catch Elon Musk. 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
3577 If he or she’s gonna get into Wharton, It’s not too early to start. 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
3578 It will help our baby envision its unattainable future 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
3579 I want the baby to be heavily into futures. 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
3580 And once he comes out, we will roll him in dough, just to be sure. 1.0633 0.03293 79 75 3 1
3581 But we are missing the NFTs honey 1.0633 0.03293 79 75 3 1
3582 People say that "riches have wings". 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
3583 Sure, we're capitalists, but for the baby this is really early. 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
3584 But bitcoin is going to replace the dollar! 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
3585 What on earth is our baby waiting for? ” 1.0633 0.03293 79 75 3 1
3586 It's not a mobile, more of a liquid asset! 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
3587 This was cheaper than the one you picked out Nancy. 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
3588 So little Penny will learn that it’s abundant, but forever out of reach.” 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
3589 Are you sure the Bankman-Frieds no longer want this? 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
3590 Maybe this will distract the baby from what's going on in the world. 1.0625 0.03253 80 76 3 1
3591 I'll check the Barnes & Noble baby book section tomorrow for age appropriate prospectuses. 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
3592 Visions of money in our newborns head can't hurt honey. 1.0625 0.03776 64 61 2 1
3593 I thought bitcoin would be too abstract for the baby. 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
3594 Maybe one with a better influence. 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
3595 I’m pushing traditional values here! 1.0625 0.03253 80 76 3 1
3596 Look honey now the baby can see how their college fund started 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
3597 So, should we raise it to make it or lower it? 1.0625 0.03253 80 76 3 1
3598 The ‘We’re in the Money’ tune is a bit over the top. 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
3599 This is a loveless marriage, also I once hit a dog and kept going. Thats me, that’s who I am. Did you know this going in? Maybe. Maybe you did. Maybe this is on you Debra, maybe this is all on you. 1.0625 0.03253 80 76 3 1
3600 I saw it on Pinterest. 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
3601 I know what you’re thinking: that the “bird“ looks more interesting than the “bag“, right? 1.0617 0.02691 81 76 5 0
3602 No, it’s for the foot injuries I’ll receive from stepping on LEGO bricks. 1.0617 0.02691 81 76 5 0
3603 Following in the footsteps of the money tree, I invented the Financial Whirlybird…..For it is never too early to learn about what makes the world go round. 1.0617 0.03213 81 77 3 1
3604 Well I couldn't make them Bitcoins. 1.0617 0.03213 81 77 3 1
3605 Our rent's quadrupling next year. We can't afford a freeloader. 1.0617 0.02691 81 76 5 0
3606 It's never too early to start the visualization process. I'll get you some blankets. 1.0617 0.02691 81 76 5 0
3607 THE SAME ONE USED BY ELON MUSK'S PARENTS 1.0617 0.02691 81 76 5 0
3608 What will wishing upon a star get'ya? 1.0615 0.03719 65 62 2 1
3609 Reach out and touch faith.” 1.0610 0.03618 82 79 1 2
3610 This way, they'll grow up to be a banker or game show host. 1.0610 0.02659 82 77 5 0
3611 Technically it isn't throwing money away. 1.0606 0.02960 66 62 4 0
3612 It WILL come crashing down with that pessimism. 1.0606 0.03663 66 63 2 1
3613 A little fiscal reminder to go along with the hungry caterpillars and moon jumping cows. 1.0606 0.02960 66 62 4 0
3614 heads or tails ? 1.0606 0.03663 66 63 2 1
3615 Expect an eventual comfortable retirement, honey. 1.0602 0.03137 83 79 3 1
3616 I understand that baby Donald Trump had one of these, and he’s a billionaire. 1.0602 0.03137 83 79 3 1
3617 He'll grow up with the right goals. 1.0602 0.02628 83 78 5 0
3618 Honey, we have to start young. How else are we going to raise the next Elon Musk? 1.0602 0.02628 83 78 5 0
3619 If it's a girl, I will install a glass ceiling. 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
3620 Now that's what I call being upwardly mobile! 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
3621 But money does make the world go ‘round. 1.0597 0.03609 67 64 2 1
3622 But I don't want our child to grow up thinking money grows on trees! 1.0597 0.03609 67 64 2 1
3623 This will be much more useful than sugarplums 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
3624 It's the Trump dream of money cradle mobile . 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
3625 If this doesn't prove we're going to be awesome parents, then I don't know what will. 1.0597 0.03609 67 64 2 1
3626 It's never too early to start thinking about making money Tina. 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
3627 This new Musk-mobile is perfect for our soon to arrive child! 1.0595 0.02597 84 79 5 0
3628 You think we're going a bit overboard? What if she becomes super addicted to money and become overly spoiled like Mr. Krabs?" "Hmm...nah we should be fine.. ᵢ ₜₕᵢₙₖ 1.0595 0.03101 84 80 3 1
3629 No, it's about showing him in time what he will never achieve! 1.0588 0.02567 85 80 5 0
3630 It’s either the by and by, or the here and now. We’ll see whose side he takes after… 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
3631 It’s a developmental toy 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
3632 Well I think it's a good idea to show it how to balance money from a young age. 1.0588 0.03557 68 65 2 1
3633 Won't she be too young to pick up on the guilt trip? 1.0588 0.02567 85 80 5 0
3634 Look, the first 18 months are almost invariably just wasted. 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
3635 Are you sure you want to keep her? I still think I can get us a higher bid. 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
3636 I ordered it from Upwardly. 1.0581 0.03030 86 82 3 1
3637 Its better than an IRA 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
3638 Place this in the crib very gently! 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
3639 I read somewhere that this helps kids gain interest money. My parents shoulda done that for me, than we wouldn't have been in this situation. 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
3640 Should we call this Upper Mobile or Calder's Money Lesson for Kids? 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
3641 Has to learn that it isn't reachable 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
3642 Sure,being CEO is like living in a fishbowl. What of it? 1.0575 0.02510 87 82 5 0
3643 It teaches them to follow the money. 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
3644 It plays the theme song from How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying! 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
3645 Angel or Demon—Game on! One kick for angel, two kicks for demon. 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
3646 Q 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
3647 Honey can you help me get this rump roast on white toast off my foot? 1.0571 0.03457 70 67 2 1
3648 You can't be subtle when it comes to teaching the value of money, Honey. 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
3649 If we want our child to make the family fortune, we've got to start early! From Sarah Harris, Perth Western Australia 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
3650 He’s going to become what I could never be: a ‘rise and grind’ influencer. 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
3651 Let's hope that out kid gets 'effective altruism' right when she grows up." 1.0571 0.03457 70 67 2 1
3652 So this is what your parents meant by paying for the kid's mobile. 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
3653 Why embed Capitalism so soon? 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
3654 Reaching for the stars? Not so much. 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
3655 You’ve been reading THE SECRET again, haven’t you? 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
3656 What?! I don’t want him to be an Astronomer 1.0571 0.03457 70 67 2 1
3657 Don’t you think it’s a good idea to let our baby know that we are in economic ‘boom’? 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
3658 I know I always found finance soporific, but we've got to invest in upward mobility 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
3659 A proactive mobile to guarantee our lives in old age 1.0568 0.02482 88 83 5 0
3660 She might not want to be the Fed Chair,but she'll at least get a Nobel in economics. 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
3661 visualizing our retirement fund" 1.0563 0.03409 71 68 2 1
3662 What an awesome Bris present ! 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
3663 Is $$ all your world revolves around 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
3664 Most normal parents wait until their kids become bratty teenagers before dangling their college funds over their heads.. 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
3665 Is this really the right way to raise your child, Mrs. Bezos? 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
3666 I see a future in politics 1.0563 0.03409 71 68 2 1
3667 I thought this one might be born with a silver spoon in his mouth,but never contemplated this!! 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
3668 No wishy-washy libs in this house! 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
3669 It's to teach the baby about upward mobile-ity! 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
3670 I work in a strip club—sue me. 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
3671 What the newborn want? The Toys....... 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
3672 Trust me, one day our little Morgan will be a big name in finance. 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
3673 It's never too early for Bidenomics. 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
3674 I bought it on Truth Social, little Don is gonna president. Just make sure he's born on Jan 6th! 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
3675 This way he can buy whatever dreams he actually wants. 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
3676 They said it was proven to promote good saving habits. 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
3677 At least he will learn early, money really does make the whirl go round. 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
3678 When he’s older, it transforms into a 529. 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
3679 Babe, anything else is indoctrination” 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
3680 This is merely my first act of defiance of the incoming generation’s prospects. 1.0548 0.03316 73 70 2 1
3681 I want the baby to understand that once he leaves this crib and moves into his own he will need a lot of money! 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
3682 Don't be silly, Darling. This toy won't affect young Donald in any adverse way. 1.0548 0.03316 73 70 2 1
3683 He needs to learn what's really important. 1.0548 0.03316 73 70 2 1
3684 Dr Bonehead said for me to get this on Ebay! 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
3685 look, I really like The Wolf of Wall Street, okay? 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
3686 I read that this worked for Elon Musk! 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
3687 He's got to start thinking about earning his keep right from the get go. 1.0548 0.03316 73 70 2 1
3688 Got to encourage the kid to make money from day one. 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
3689 I’m not giving birth to Wall Street, Dave. 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
3690 He will get richer using a cryptocurrency. 1.0548 0.03316 73 70 2 1
3691 Wishing the baby all of this is not going to make it happen! 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
3692 This and a few lottery tickets and we should be all set. 1.0545 0.04035 55 53 1 1
3693 Dollars, not Crypto? Is that the message you want to give our baby? 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
3694 Aunt Daisy Mae says it has blue tooth. Dang, how she know dat?! 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
3695 Hey, it can't be just us thinking about how to save for college. 1.0541 0.03272 74 71 2 1
3696 But what if it doesn’t “instill our child with the futility of grasping for the illusion of materialist fulfillment,” and instead creates a capitalist monster? 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
3697 I wanna teach him to be upwardly mobile. 1.0541 0.03272 74 71 2 1
3698 Teach him early that money really flies away from you. 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
3699 And his name will be Donald! 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
3700 Any child of mine needs to learn soon what I think is important. 1.0536 0.03036 56 53 3 0
3701 I thought we agreed on the modern spelling of ‘$ophia’. 1.0533 0.02612 75 71 4 0
3702 I can't wait to meet little Payden. 1.0533 0.03229 75 72 2 1
3703 I want her to start off with an abundance mindset. 1.0533 0.03229 75 72 2 1
3704 Yes, I know balancing our budget and getting a mobile were 2 separate items on the to do list. Why? 1.0533 0.02612 75 71 4 0
3705 My alarm bells are already going off. 1.0533 0.02612 75 71 4 0
3706 I would never suggest we keep little Junoor's money in his mattress; that's just downright silly 1.0533 0.02612 75 71 4 0
3707 Honey, did you let that prompt engineer design the mobile? 1.0533 0.02612 75 71 4 0
3708 The bit coin mobile was really boring. 1.0526 0.02578 76 72 4 0
3709 Are you trying to make my baby an investor or what? 1.0526 0.02578 76 72 4 0
3710 As mobiles go,yes,it was expensive. But trust me,over her lifetime it will more than pay for itself. 1.0526 0.02578 76 72 4 0
3711 Someday, just think, he'll have his own 401k. 1.0526 0.02578 76 72 4 0
3712 Your mother insisted on that Bitcoin christening blanket. But this will teach him about the real world! 1.0526 0.02578 76 72 4 0
3713 spit it out love! 1.0526 0.02578 76 72 4 0
3714 I can’t wait to see if it’s a bull or a bear, or about the baby. 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
3715 I can’t believe your brother-in-law said it was an expensive mobile 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
3716 This kid is gonna think money grows on trees. 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
3717 It’s not that kind of crib ! 1.0519 0.03146 77 74 2 1
3718 We can take it down when she graduates from college. 1.0519 0.03649 77 75 0 2
3719 My Mom tried this on me...it does not work! 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
3720 Ah yes, Daddy Warbucks' baby gift 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
3721 We have to preserve his innocence as long as we can, darling 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
3722 Our child will stay awake thinking about what they took from us. 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
3723 Look, it was only 3.99 APR. 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
3724 Baby shark! Doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
3725 What? You always said you wanted to retire early! 1.0513 0.02514 78 74 4 0
3726 Seeing this go 'round will ensure he doesn't become a flat-earther! 1.0513 0.02514 78 74 4 0
3727 They say it keeps them stimulated, and well, like father, like son. 1.0513 0.02514 78 74 4 0
3728 The idea is to implant a balanced investment strategy least everything comes tumbling down. 1.0506 0.02482 79 75 4 0
3729 It’s a West Elm hack. Can you make it a TikTok? 1.0506 0.03067 79 76 2 1
3730 If it's a boy, I still like the name Warren. 1.0500 0.02837 60 57 3 0
3731 And I've just ordered the high school trig mobile. 1.0500 0.02452 80 76 4 0
3732 I’m not sold on the financial analyst mobile. 1.0500 0.02452 80 76 4 0
3733 Yes, I want her to know from the beginning how much she owes us! 1.0494 0.02422 81 77 4 0
3734 Not to worry -- these are all post-inflation dollars. 1.0492 0.03641 61 59 1 1
3735 ...maybe some of it will trickle down 1.0492 0.02792 61 58 3 0
3736 It's a family tradition. Elon will love it. 1.0488 0.02956 82 79 2 1
3737 This is what Freud called Manif-investment Content. 1.0488 0.02393 82 78 4 0
3738 I told you that I can make one out of my own money! 1.0488 0.02393 82 78 4 0
3739 I'm sorry for wanting our little girl to be president. 1.0484 0.02747 62 59 3 0
3740 This offers better odds than the lottery. 1.0484 0.03583 62 60 1 1
3741 You're looking at five hours of hard labor. 1.0484 0.02747 62 59 3 0
3742 It can't be too early to have eyes on the prize! 1.0484 0.02747 62 59 3 0
3743 Our kid will strike it rich. 1.0482 0.02365 83 79 4 0
3744 These are nowadays kids' dreams, honey 1.0482 0.02365 83 79 4 0
3745 How do you know that they’re a future accountant? 1.0476 0.02338 84 80 4 0
3746 I just want him to grow up hoping for a windfall. 1.0476 0.02887 84 81 2 1
3747 Maybe this will inspire her to make big bucks drawing cartoons for The New Yorker. 1.0476 0.02705 63 60 3 0
3748 ABC is a lifestyle babe, and I want our kid starting early. 1.0476 0.02705 63 60 3 0
3749 Ok, Amelia Bedelia. You can stay. 1.0476 0.02705 63 60 3 0
3750 Don't worry, at the birth we become Republicans 1.0471 0.02311 85 81 4 0
3751 I got it really cheap from Trump Enterprise liquidation sale. 1.0471 0.02311 85 81 4 0
3752 I’m going to take this bag of money and buy scratch offs 1.0469 0.02663 64 61 3 0
3753 Well, at least we can make a little money off this accident… 1.0469 0.03472 64 62 1 1
3754 What’s black & white and said all over?(Money is why you’re here.) 1.0469 0.03472 64 62 1 1
3755 And I want her reading before she starts kindergarten. 1.0469 0.03472 64 62 1 1
3756 Just in case they may choose to go to college. 1.0462 0.02623 65 62 3 0
3757 It was the name. "Upward Mobile-ity." 1.0462 0.02623 65 62 3 0
3758 Another of your get-rich-quick schemes. 1.0462 0.03419 65 63 1 1
3759 It's just the first step in teaching junior about mobile banking. 1.0462 0.02623 65 62 3 0
3760 Y’a know the mobile is really just the Truck-Nuts of the crib. 1.0462 0.02623 65 62 3 0
3761 It’s not like we’re going to name him “Capitalism.” 1.0462 0.02623 65 62 3 0
3762 I’ll live with the mobile, but the music shouldn’t be 'Rich Girl'!. 1.0455 0.02584 66 63 3 0
3763 This is what TikTokkers are doing to make their kids billionaires. 1.0455 0.02584 66 63 3 0
3764 The moon and stars are nice, but a successful entrepreneur would be good, too" 1.0455 0.02584 66 63 3 0
3765 It's never too early to learn about the power of compounding. 1.0455 0.02584 66 63 3 0
3766 Fuhgeddaboudit with the dancing’ sugar plums, our kid will be dreaming of cold, hard cash. 1.0448 0.02546 67 64 3 0
3767 and it plays "Money, Money, Money" by ABBA 1.0448 0.02546 67 64 3 0
3768 Hey, we agreed. If it were a girl. we'd be looking at savings statements and retirement plans right now. 1.0448 0.02546 67 64 3 0
3769 It's always been safely out of reach for me, too. 1.0448 0.02546 67 64 3 0
3770 Hopefully, with a head start, she manifests enough to get us those cryonic chambers before it's too late. 1.0448 0.02546 67 64 3 0
3771 'Hang on to your cash, baby !' 1.0448 0.02546 67 64 3 0
3772 Brb I’m gonna go buy some of those Frank Thomas sex pills 1.0441 0.02509 68 65 3 0
3773 I think we should name him Donald. 1.0441 0.02509 68 65 3 0
3774 They call it the "Upwardly Mobile" because it helps the baby stand on their own feet and reach their full potential. 1.0441 0.02509 68 65 3 0
3775 He or she will be caring for us in our dotage. 1.0441 0.02509 68 65 3 0
3776 It's subliminal... 1.0441 0.02509 68 65 3 0
3777 This better get him in the Forbes 1 under 1 1.0435 0.02473 69 66 3 0
3778 I know you like the name Scrooge, Ron, but this is taking it too far. 1.0435 0.02473 69 66 3 0
3779 It’s important that she knows money doesn’t grow on trees. 1.0435 0.03222 69 67 1 1
3780 And I say we fine him every time he soils his diaper. 1.0435 0.02473 69 66 3 0
3781 I want her dreams too big to fail. 1.0435 0.02473 69 66 3 0
3782 Inflation really sucks but I don't think that gold bars will be safer. 1.0429 0.03176 70 68 1 1
3783 I want the new baby to always appreciate the fact that money does not just grow on trees. 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
3784 Can't we just name him Elon? 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
3785 And another thing. She's going to know exactly how much her babysitters charge! 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
3786 Hon', it's the latest thing: neo-natal-liberalism. 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
3787 Money makes the child go round. 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
3788 This way, he'll learn to earn his keep. 1.0423 0.03131 71 69 1 1
3789 It’s time to change banks. 1.0423 0.02404 71 68 3 0
3790 This will be his/her objective 1.0423 0.02404 71 68 3 0
3791 What do you think dear?" "I'm hoping this will start him off to a road of financial wizardry! 1.0423 0.02404 71 68 3 0
3792 "They need to know about "Girl Math" and "Boy Math" early." 1.0423 0.02404 71 68 3 0
3793 I want the baby to grow up thinking a lot about money. 1.0423 0.02404 71 68 3 0
3794 I refuse to raise another wannabe astronaut 1.0423 0.03131 71 69 1 1
3795 Let’s just feed him to the dragon 1.0417 0.02372 72 69 3 0
3796 OK, you get 1 spins. Don't worry, if you don't get it, another 10 months,maybe you can try again. 1.0417 0.03088 72 70 1 1
3797 This kid will be constantly reminded from day one of the dollars needed. 1.0417 0.02372 72 69 3 0
3798 We need a Plan B in case it turns out not to be a witch. 1.0417 0.02372 72 69 3 0
3799 Why will your parents only give us this money if it's pointing at you when you give birth? 1.0417 0.02372 72 69 3 0
3800 So this way, even her dreams will make up for our financial mediocrity. 1.0417 0.02372 72 69 3 0
3801 It's a representation of how much it will cost to raise this kid. 1.0411 0.03046 73 71 1 1
3802 It's important for him to know what to set his sights on. 1.0411 0.02339 73 70 3 0
3803 When the balloon burst it will be in reach. 1.0411 0.02339 73 70 3 0
3804 We can't afford a silver spoon. Upwardly mobile will have to do. 1.0411 0.02339 73 70 3 0
3805 Dr. Spock says babies develop grindset at six months 1.0411 0.02339 73 70 3 0
3806 So our child dream about what he took from us. 1.0411 0.03046 73 71 1 1
3807 It’s exchangeable if you don’t like it. 1.0411 0.02339 73 70 3 0
3808 I'm sorry, honey, but our kid is never going to be a nepo baby no matter how hard you try. 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
3809 It's our retirement plan. Make him desire to be rich so that he can take care of us in our old age. 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
3810 This will teach the baby hand eye coordination and life's harshest truth. 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
3811 Baby's got to know who butters the bread from day one! 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
3812 We must make sure that he buys a Powerball ticket every week! 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
3813 I knew it! You really don't respect my MFA! 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
3814 It plays ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Dollar Store’. 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
3815 O.K., I've got the mobile up. Maybe now you could stop scratching your ass long enough to go get the mattress? 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
3816 That's demodé, Sharon. A screen #showing wheel of fortune will be much more enticing for the baby. 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
3817 So what if his first words are “chasing a bag?” 1.0400 0.02278 75 72 3 0
3818 Don't look at me like that. Our kid's gonna be ballin' from day 1. 1.0400 0.02278 75 72 3 0
3819 Go ahead and laugh. I hope we have triplets. 1.0400 0.02278 75 72 3 0
3820 Ah, Nevermind. 1.0395 0.02926 76 74 1 1
3821 He’ll think he is part of the 1%. We will be his slave until he turns 18 and we can assert our middle class lives. 1.0395 0.02248 76 73 3 0
3822 It'll help when I teach the baby about taxes. 1.0395 0.02248 76 73 3 0
3823 The first impressions are the deepest! 1.0395 0.02248 76 73 3 0
3824 Canary Warf Baby Crib 1.0395 0.02248 76 73 3 0
3825 I think we should replace these with cryptocurrency tokens to remind our child that all transactions in this household, especially chores, will be decentralized. 1.0395 0.02248 76 73 3 0
3826 damn that broken condom turned out really expensive! 1.0395 0.02926 76 74 1 1
3827 It can represent our version of artificial intelligence 1.0385 0.02192 78 75 3 0
3828 Inflation will guarantee the rest of the decorations in the next 3 months. 1.0385 0.02852 78 76 1 1
3829 How else would Howard Hughes come back? 1.0380 0.02164 79 76 3 0
3830 Don’t worry honey, I know what you’re thinking: Are the little bags full of chocolate coins? And the answer is no, they taste terrible. 1.0380 0.02164 79 76 3 0
3831 Trust me on this, teaching our baby all about money at a young age will only have positive effects. Just look at how all the rich people in our world turned out! 1.0370 0.02111 81 78 3 0
3832 Our child will reach for the cash. 1.0366 0.02086 82 79 3 0
3833 Isn't is sad that we think about how much this child will cost rather than the joy his mere presence will bring us? Welcome to bousie America. 1.0345 0.02417 58 56 2 0
3834 It's his/her Wheel of Fortune, Vanna! 1.0339 0.02376 59 57 2 0
3835 Let’s hope he’s just born with common Cents. 1.0328 0.02299 61 59 2 0
3836 If our parents had done this we wouldn’t have to buy all those PowerBall tickets 1.0328 0.02299 61 59 2 0
3837 Do you think the baby will imprint our goals? 1.0323 0.02262 62 60 2 0
3838 It’s not the same world anymore 1.0323 0.02262 62 60 2 0
3839 The baby hasn't even been born, and yet you're teaching him how to go after the almighty dollar. 1.0323 0.02262 62 60 2 0
3840 Why did you eat our kid? 1.0317 0.02227 63 61 2 0
3841 If we raise him right, our little guy can grow up to help us pay off our college debt. 1.0317 0.02227 63 61 2 0
3842 Fine . Add a teddy bear , but don’t come crying to me if she chooses” a life in the theater.” 1.0312 0.02192 64 62 2 0
3843 I think it pays to get him focused on the important matters in life early in his development. 1.0312 0.02192 64 62 2 0
3844 I sure hope the mockingbird sings! 1.0312 0.02192 64 62 2 0
3845 Wall Street or bust . 1.0312 0.02192 64 62 2 0
3846 The numbers will be messy the first few years. Especially the two. 1.0312 0.02192 64 62 2 0
3847 It's a good luck talisman in hope of a balanced family budget. 1.0308 0.02159 65 63 2 0
3848 Mobile and mobility mean the same thing, right? 1.0308 0.02159 65 63 2 0
3849 I just don't want him growing up with ambitions I wish I'd had! 1.0308 0.02159 65 63 2 0
3850 They said it'll teach him ow to win the lottery. What'd you think? 1.0308 0.02159 65 63 2 0
3851 I am preparing them for the world the only way I know how. 1.0308 0.02159 65 63 2 0
3852 With my angel investing skills and your ability to balance budgets, the kid will be set for life. 1.0308 0.02159 65 63 2 0
3853 It'll teach him how wasteful government spending is, and how his future has been sold out by Joe Biden. 1.0303 0.02126 66 64 2 0
3854 Honey, I want our child to know what to aim for in life. 1.0303 0.02126 66 64 2 0
3855 The salesperson said we might make double our investment. 1.0303 0.03030 66 65 0 1
3856 It will help him make friends 1.0303 0.02126 66 64 2 0
3857 Do you think it's too early to teach our child that it's out of reach? 1.0303 0.02126 66 64 2 0
3858 I got it on sale from the Cardi B maternity section on Amazon. It plays her hit songs Money, Drip, Up, and Money Bag on a loop. 1.0299 0.02095 67 65 2 0
3859 You said we needed a plan for our retirement. This is it! 1.0299 0.02095 67 65 2 0
3860 No I'm not kidding I read Fred Trump used this very successfully! 1.0299 0.02095 67 65 2 0
3861 Gotta teach them early…cash rules everything around them. 1.0299 0.02095 67 65 2 0
3862 I thought we should introduce our child to capitalism as soon as possible 1.0294 0.02064 68 66 2 0
3863 When you realize that baby's first words are going to show me the money 1.0294 0.02064 68 66 2 0
3864 The bitcoin version is out of reach. 1.0294 0.02064 68 66 2 0
3865 This is how Bernie Madoff got his start. 1.0294 0.02064 68 66 2 0
3866 It’s never too early for college prep! 1.0290 0.02899 69 68 0 1
3867 Teach 'em early ! 1.0290 0.02034 69 67 2 0
3868 It was either this or blue checkmarks. 1.0290 0.02034 69 67 2 0
3869 This one doesn't scream, "Nepo Baby," like that other one which had only the logo. 1.0290 0.02034 69 67 2 0
3870 This sound will help our child have a good sleep 1.0290 0.02034 69 67 2 0
3871 Honey, you said get the best-performing 529 college savings plan. 1.0290 0.02034 69 67 2 0
3872 Of course it costs $500,000 to raise a child until 18, but it maybe he can support us in our old age. 1.0286 0.02006 70 68 2 0
3873 We're conceiving and aardvark, not a human baby. We don't have to worry about teaching capitalism. Now, we have two things to talk about; the spider bite on my toe, and your refusal to change your surname to Oyle-Slick. I ate kraut for lunch. Burrrp! 1.0282 0.01978 71 69 2 0
3874 But then, it grabbed the kid and was gone. 1.0282 0.01978 71 69 2 0
3875 To avoid future problems, we must convey clearly that the cost of a college education is not a game for every child. 1.0282 0.01978 71 69 2 0
3876 It'll be out of date, I know, but what will money look like? 1.0278 0.01950 72 70 2 0
3877 The last thing I want is to be outearned by some hotshot prodigy. 1.0278 0.01950 72 70 2 0
3878 Consider all we will be doing for our child who will fund our later life care needs. 1.0278 0.01950 72 70 2 0
3879 I just want her to realize the American Dream will always be out of her reach. 1.0278 0.01950 72 70 2 0
3880 Yo, Y u dudat? beink's as en'ed up kaul'ng me and I th'ght oui b'en rawbed! 1.0274 0.01924 73 71 2 0
3881 We will teach him the true meaning of family. 1.0260 0.01825 77 75 2 0
3882 That’s her college fund. Baby’ll have to earn it. Climb for the American dream. 1.0260 0.02597 77 76 0 1
3883 Taylor’s theory of motivation is going mobile. 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
3884 Tell your father that poverty is a recessive gene! 1.0189 0.01905 53 52 1 0
3885 For our looking upwardly mobile baby. 1.0172 0.01739 58 57 1 0
3886 This used to rest on solid ground. 1.0169 0.01709 59 58 1 0
3887 Alternatively, we could just play C.R.E.A.M. in place of a noise machine. 1.0169 0.01709 59 58 1 0
3888 She is going to be a Master of heaven and earth. 1.0164 0.01653 61 60 1 0
3889 I think I'm losing interest in email. 1.0161 0.01626 62 61 1 0
3890 He must know from the beginning how life goes ! 1.0161 0.01626 62 61 1 0
3891 Never too early for a financial education. It was this one or the one showing money grows on trees. 1.0156 0.01575 64 63 1 0
3892 Well, do you want our kid to be a senator or not? 1.0154 0.01550 65 64 1 0
3893 The ultrasound does show you're pregnant with baby Rich Uncle Pennybags 1.0152 0.01527 66 65 1 0
3894 But my grandfather was a capitalist. 1.0149 0.01504 67 66 1 0
3895 You paid HOW MUCH for that!!? 1.0147 0.01482 68 67 1 0
3896 Oh, don't worry, honey, it's only a joke 1.0147 0.01482 68 67 1 0
3897 You're telling me you've never heard of Alexander Caldwell? Well I've never heard of a woman's IUD falling out on a roller rink only to be found weeks later! And why are you so into roller derby, anyway? I have my suspicions... 1.0147 0.01482 68 67 1 0
3898 Junior would prefer toys. 1.0147 0.01482 68 67 1 0
3899 Hopefully the baby will grow up to be a money maker and not a money taker. 1.0145 0.01460 69 68 1 0
3900 They say if you have sex while you’re pregnant it feels even better than usual 1.0145 0.01460 69 68 1 0
3901 This may be a legitimate model of high dollars, but it will never get us the Nobel for modeling inflation. 1.0141 0.01418 71 70 1 0
3902 I'm going to withdraw a little each month to cover his rent. 1.0139 0.01399 72 71 1 0
3903 We’ll need to be taken care of one day so best to get them going early. 1.0135 0.01361 74 73 1 0
3904 It represents just exactly what any children will (ex)spent within their lifetime(s). 1.0128 0.01290 78 77 1 0
3905 If it's a boy, we name him Donald, if it's a girl, we name her Melania. 1.0000 0.01550 65 65 0 0
3906 Manifesting is about wanting things you can’t see yet. 1.0000 0.01575 64 64 0 0
3907 'mother, can you spare me a whine about my strict catholic upbringing' 1.0000 0.01626 62 62 0 0
3908 I just didn`t know which one to take. 1.0000 0.01527 66 66 0 0
3909 Listen, darling. The baby is a Buffett, and this mobile has been passed down for generations! 1.0000 0.01626 62 62 0 0
3910 No , her name is going to be Ann not Ayn ! 1.0000 0.01460 69 69 0 0
3911 I never said he should be a football player. I said, COLLEGE football player." 1.0000 0.01626 62 62 0 0
3912 If he inherits my freak arm, he can spin this money mobile himself. 1.0000 0.01626 62 62 0 0