Rank |
Caption |
Mean |
Precision |
Total votes |
"Unfunny" votes |
"Somewhat funny" votes |
"Funny" votes |
0 |
Lately, my meltdowns are coming more frequently. |
1.7554 |
0.02467 |
977 |
439 |
338 |
200 |
1 |
My friends complain that I’m frosty and self serving. |
1.7279 |
0.02210 |
1301 |
638 |
379 |
284 |
2 |
I scream, you scream, we all scream. It’s like no one has actual conversations anymore. |
1.7265 |
0.01862 |
1850 |
915 |
526 |
409 |
3 |
Everyone feels sorry for the kid who dropped the ice cream, but no one ever asks, “Is the ice cream OK?” |
1.7133 |
0.01718 |
2229 |
1144 |
580 |
505 |
4 |
I live in fear of another meltdown |
1.6990 |
0.02350 |
1063 |
520 |
343 |
200 |
5 |
I self identify as a dairy queen. |
1.6883 |
0.02000 |
1556 |
802 |
437 |
317 |
6 |
One day you wake up and realize that there are no sprinkles. |
1.6710 |
0.02628 |
845 |
431 |
261 |
153 |
7 |
Okay, I’ll give you the full scoop. |
1.6697 |
0.02404 |
987 |
498 |
317 |
172 |
8 |
And then I found out she was lactose intolerant. |
1.6687 |
0.01811 |
1778 |
910 |
547 |
321 |
9 |
Then she left me for a gelato, but you know how smooth those Italians are. |
1.6560 |
0.01975 |
1506 |
790 |
444 |
272 |
10 |
And that's when I realized I have an edible complex. |
1.6545 |
0.02052 |
1427 |
760 |
400 |
267 |
11 |
Not voices exactly. It's more of a jingle. |
1.6460 |
0.01767 |
1853 |
980 |
549 |
324 |
12 |
I mean what are we all screaming for really? |
1.6435 |
0.02063 |
1383 |
741 |
394 |
248 |
13 |
Of course global warming has me concerned! |
1.6424 |
0.01963 |
1429 |
740 |
460 |
229 |
14 |
My wife says I’m too vanilla. Like, what does that even mean? |
1.6367 |
0.01866 |
1569 |
817 |
505 |
247 |
15 |
My wife no longer finds "Mister Softee" an ironic nickname. |
1.6363 |
0.01857 |
1743 |
956 |
465 |
322 |
16 |
... and then everyone's screaming for ice cream and that's when I wake up. |
1.6344 |
0.02002 |
1406 |
747 |
426 |
233 |
17 |
She said I was too cold, but at least the kids still love me. |
1.6293 |
0.01966 |
1446 |
771 |
440 |
235 |
18 |
My childhood consisted of one licking after another. |
1.6249 |
0.01930 |
1461 |
774 |
461 |
226 |
19 |
They keep referring to me as Cohen. It's Cone. |
1.6248 |
0.02162 |
1258 |
694 |
342 |
222 |
20 |
I seem to be suffering from brain freeze. |
1.6217 |
0.01906 |
1459 |
767 |
477 |
215 |
21 |
I can't seem to get hard anymore. |
1.6137 |
0.02128 |
1310 |
739 |
338 |
233 |
22 |
No, Doc-- I said I was dropped on my head BY a small child. |
1.6101 |
0.03045 |
613 |
340 |
172 |
101 |
23 |
I saw her with an Italian gelato.” |
1.6062 |
0.01364 |
3636 |
2228 |
612 |
796 |
24 |
Perhaps I do have a self-serving bias |
1.6051 |
0.02360 |
975 |
533 |
294 |
148 |
25 |
I'm ok most of the week, but I dread every Sundae. |
1.6019 |
0.01874 |
1585 |
882 |
452 |
251 |
26 |
She left me for the "the cup", said, "he lasted longer!" |
1.5993 |
0.01828 |
1692 |
953 |
464 |
275 |
27 |
…and then just as they were about to dip my head in butterscotch I wake up. |
1.5981 |
0.02155 |
1177 |
653 |
344 |
180 |
28 |
Now that you mention it, maybe that chocolate shell wasn’t really protecting me from the world after all |
1.5944 |
0.01851 |
1494 |
808 |
484 |
202 |
29 |
My mom...she's a Dairy Queen |
1.5941 |
0.01883 |
1525 |
847 |
450 |
228 |
30 |
She’s sleeping with gelato. |
1.5915 |
0.01844 |
1677 |
960 |
442 |
275 |
31 |
I feel as if I can never warm up to anyone. |
1.5816 |
0.01801 |
1551 |
850 |
500 |
201 |
32 |
I wake up right before I hit the sidewalk. |
1.5798 |
0.01691 |
2054 |
1216 |
485 |
353 |
33 |
It’s just that there’s so much swirling in my head right now. |
1.5766 |
0.01842 |
1462 |
803 |
475 |
184 |
34 |
And to top it off, I only see my kids on sundaes. |
1.5747 |
0.01820 |
1935 |
1206 |
346 |
383 |
35 |
I'm sure, doc. I know when I'm licked. |
1.5707 |
0.01892 |
1838 |
1168 |
291 |
379 |
36 |
I feel women want only one thing from me |
1.5701 |
0.01940 |
1412 |
809 |
401 |
202 |
37 |
I keep thinking I’m going soft in the head. |
1.5699 |
0.02467 |
844 |
476 |
255 |
113 |
38 |
My biggest challenge is keeping my cool… |
1.5691 |
0.01919 |
1353 |
754 |
428 |
171 |
39 |
I think I was either dropped as a child or by a child |
1.5682 |
0.01951 |
1452 |
850 |
379 |
223 |
40 |
It's looking like there's never going to be a Mrs. Softee. |
1.5663 |
0.02783 |
701 |
408 |
189 |
104 |
41 |
I have so many swirling thoughts. |
1.5630 |
0.02291 |
929 |
518 |
299 |
112 |
42 |
'I scream inside my head, all the time..' |
1.5575 |
0.02377 |
956 |
563 |
253 |
140 |
43 |
I know a lot of people have climate anxiety, but I’m actually losing my mind. |
1.5520 |
0.02197 |
1076 |
628 |
302 |
146 |
44 |
It’s always ‘who wants ice cream,’ and never ‘what does ice cream want?’ |
1.5503 |
0.02088 |
1363 |
849 |
278 |
236 |
45 |
You try to perform when she calls you Mr. Softee |
1.5387 |
0.02294 |
1123 |
710 |
221 |
192 |
46 |
They only want me for one thing |
1.5382 |
0.02194 |
994 |
573 |
307 |
114 |
47 |
It's been a rough week doc, I'm taking a big licking. |
1.5373 |
0.02322 |
871 |
499 |
276 |
96 |
48 |
All of them, Doc. They all were screaming... Oh, the screaming. |
1.5336 |
0.02416 |
922 |
563 |
226 |
133 |
49 |
Doc, I don’t last very long |
1.5282 |
0.02336 |
850 |
492 |
267 |
91 |
50 |
I 've lost my good humor. |
1.5249 |
0.03193 |
503 |
305 |
132 |
66 |
51 |
‘Soft Serve is not a confidence building name…’ |
1.5248 |
0.02385 |
806 |
467 |
255 |
84 |
52 |
I’m not hallucinating—people speak to me in tongues. |
1.5198 |
0.02623 |
910 |
608 |
131 |
171 |
53 |
My wife complains that I'm cold and self-serving. |
1.5179 |
0.02653 |
867 |
574 |
137 |
156 |
54 |
So I said, you knew I was vanilla when you married me. |
1.5155 |
0.02453 |
873 |
543 |
210 |
120 |
55 |
And then one day she met a guy with sprinkles, and it was pretty much over. |
1.5125 |
0.02540 |
839 |
531 |
186 |
122 |
56 |
I'm not the sort of person you can warm up to. |
1.5116 |
0.02497 |
731 |
432 |
224 |
75 |
57 |
She said our love life is too vanilla. |
1.5107 |
0.02654 |
703 |
430 |
187 |
86 |
58 |
Can't you just write me a prescription for more sprinkles? |
1.5106 |
0.02463 |
803 |
488 |
220 |
95 |
59 |
My first mistake was moving to Phoenix. |
1.5080 |
0.02772 |
689 |
435 |
158 |
96 |
60 |
What if it's not lactose she can't tolerate … what if it's just me? |
1.5074 |
0.02568 |
808 |
512 |
182 |
114 |
61 |
Sundaes are the worst. |
1.5064 |
0.02622 |
784 |
500 |
171 |
113 |
62 |
We had another fight about the thermostat. |
1.5063 |
0.02541 |
794 |
496 |
194 |
104 |
63 |
And when did you first realize that you were self-serving? |
1.5048 |
0.02729 |
735 |
473 |
153 |
109 |
64 |
I’m great in the morning, but by lunchtime I’m all over the place. |
1.5035 |
0.04188 |
284 |
176 |
73 |
35 |
65 |
Some days I just really feel whipped. |
1.5000 |
0.02778 |
604 |
367 |
172 |
65 |
66 |
I should mention I was formula fed. |
1.4971 |
0.02608 |
680 |
414 |
194 |
72 |
67 |
So, you're saying I have an edible complex? |
1.4958 |
0.02752 |
720 |
469 |
145 |
106 |
68 |
...and suddenly I'm screaming, then you're screaming, then we're all screaming. |
1.4958 |
0.02826 |
714 |
474 |
126 |
114 |
69 |
I simply cannot stop the thoughts from swirling around in my head. |
1.4954 |
0.02693 |
648 |
398 |
179 |
71 |
70 |
They only date me because I’m rich and creamy. |
1.4936 |
0.02801 |
699 |
458 |
137 |
104 |
71 |
My thoughts are twisted |
1.4932 |
0.02750 |
588 |
355 |
176 |
57 |
72 |
Believe me, doc, I know when I'm licked. |
1.4920 |
0.02808 |
687 |
449 |
138 |
100 |
73 |
I've always had a frosty relationship with my mother. |
1.4912 |
0.02774 |
625 |
390 |
163 |
72 |
74 |
I’d rather be a dairy KING! |
1.4897 |
0.02918 |
584 |
370 |
142 |
72 |
75 |
I'm trying to keep my head over this global warming thing! |
1.4893 |
0.02734 |
560 |
333 |
180 |
47 |
76 |
But, do cooler heads REALLY prevail? |
1.4887 |
0.02718 |
665 |
420 |
165 |
80 |
77 |
No matter what I say, she bites my head off. |
1.4885 |
0.02879 |
608 |
388 |
143 |
77 |
78 |
If I hear one more joke about being a sweet guy, I'm going to have a meltdown. |
1.4875 |
0.02784 |
599 |
371 |
164 |
64 |
79 |
I had the dream about the giant tongue again. |
1.4868 |
0.02851 |
608 |
386 |
148 |
74 |
80 |
It's the same dream every night. I scream. You scream. We all scream. |
1.4867 |
0.03120 |
600 |
408 |
92 |
100 |
81 |
I better talk fast. |
1.4864 |
0.02892 |
625 |
406 |
134 |
85 |
82 |
She's too orally fixated. |
1.4859 |
0.02948 |
531 |
329 |
146 |
56 |
83 |
I think I'm getting soft in the head. |
1.4855 |
0.02833 |
585 |
365 |
156 |
64 |
84 |
Day after day, I just feel I'm getting licked. |
1.4842 |
0.02830 |
568 |
351 |
159 |
58 |
85 |
I feel moving to a warmer climate would make my situation worse |
1.4830 |
0.02695 |
617 |
380 |
176 |
61 |
86 |
And then there's the brain freeze. The constant brain freeze. |
1.4828 |
0.02895 |
582 |
370 |
143 |
69 |
87 |
Did you say Oedipal or edible? |
1.4828 |
0.02871 |
580 |
366 |
148 |
66 |
88 |
I came home and she was covered in chocolate! |
1.4826 |
0.02754 |
634 |
401 |
160 |
73 |
89 |
And then I had a meltdown |
1.4821 |
0.02856 |
587 |
371 |
149 |
67 |
90 |
I was an only chill. |
1.4796 |
0.02739 |
565 |
343 |
173 |
49 |
91 |
Let’s face it. You are what you eat, and I’m living proof! |
1.4793 |
0.02998 |
507 |
316 |
139 |
52 |
92 |
They scream, Doc. They all scream. |
1.4791 |
0.03184 |
549 |
370 |
95 |
84 |
93 |
I'm afraid to tell my parents that I'm really a Dairy Queen. |
1.4783 |
0.03223 |
554 |
379 |
85 |
90 |
94 |
As a kid I made friends easily. |
1.4782 |
0.02843 |
596 |
380 |
147 |
69 |
95 |
She said she just wasn’t ready for dessert. |
1.4761 |
0.03011 |
565 |
370 |
121 |
74 |
96 |
She complained I wasn’t cool enough and left me for a popsicle. |
1.4746 |
0.02850 |
571 |
361 |
149 |
61 |
97 |
Okay if I pay you at my next appointment? |
1.4733 |
0.03292 |
600 |
436 |
44 |
120 |
98 |
I worry that I'm just her flavor of the month. |
1.4730 |
0.03099 |
518 |
337 |
117 |
64 |
99 |
Doc, I'm worried about global warming. |
1.4726 |
0.02904 |
565 |
362 |
139 |
64 |
100 |
Mother was cold. |
1.4722 |
0.02969 |
540 |
346 |
133 |
61 |
101 |
I’ve never been licked. |
1.4715 |
0.02927 |
562 |
362 |
135 |
65 |
102 |
Somehow my kids still hate me. |
1.4704 |
0.02961 |
506 |
317 |
140 |
49 |
103 |
My corporate clients claim I'm 'Too soft in the head.'" |
1.4698 |
0.03017 |
464 |
286 |
138 |
40 |
104 |
People don't respect me. My wife says it's because I'm too soft. |
1.4698 |
0.02990 |
496 |
311 |
137 |
48 |
105 |
I'm sick and tired of being called a Softee |
1.4686 |
0.02944 |
510 |
320 |
141 |
49 |
106 |
Likeable! I told the genie I wanted to be really likeable! |
1.4670 |
0.03352 |
424 |
274 |
102 |
48 |
107 |
Big deal. Your carpet looks like a fried egg." |
1.4653 |
0.03230 |
490 |
326 |
100 |
64 |
108 |
I often feel just minutes away from a total meltdown. |
1.4650 |
0.03214 |
443 |
283 |
114 |
46 |
109 |
I think people are chasing me. |
1.4649 |
0.03134 |
555 |
379 |
94 |
82 |
110 |
She only calls when she wants a cheat day. |
1.4637 |
0.03076 |
509 |
332 |
118 |
59 |
111 |
I feel so twisted. |
1.4630 |
0.03065 |
460 |
289 |
129 |
42 |
112 |
Cooler heads don't often prevail. |
1.4625 |
0.03644 |
333 |
211 |
90 |
32 |
113 |
I haven’t been the same since the split. |
1.4614 |
0.03107 |
479 |
309 |
119 |
51 |
114 |
And there's this jingle I can't get out of my head. |
1.4612 |
0.03246 |
412 |
260 |
114 |
38 |
115 |
In my dream, the little girl who drops me always turns out to be my mother. |
1.4599 |
0.03351 |
474 |
323 |
84 |
67 |
116 |
My brother got all the sprinkles. |
1.4599 |
0.03159 |
474 |
309 |
112 |
53 |
117 |
I can't get her out of my head. |
1.4594 |
0.03464 |
468 |
326 |
69 |
73 |
118 |
I scream, you scream, the voices scream... |
1.4593 |
0.03121 |
479 |
311 |
116 |
52 |
119 |
I just think that words like "soft" and "hard " are divisive. |
1.4593 |
0.03257 |
479 |
321 |
96 |
62 |
120 |
I worry that you're writing down, ... twisted. |
1.4593 |
0.03003 |
442 |
272 |
137 |
33 |
121 |
…and then everyone screams, so I scream. |
1.4589 |
0.03234 |
499 |
338 |
93 |
68 |
122 |
I don't know how to deal with the "soft in the head" comments... |
1.4582 |
0.02970 |
467 |
291 |
138 |
38 |
123 |
What am I missing in my life? Well, off the top of my head, I'd say "sprinkles". |
1.4577 |
0.03311 |
461 |
309 |
93 |
59 |
124 |
Then she asked, ‘why can’t you get hard?’ |
1.4575 |
0.03284 |
494 |
338 |
86 |
70 |
125 |
Every time I warm up to someone it just gets messy. |
1.4573 |
0.03303 |
457 |
305 |
95 |
57 |
126 |
Doc, I am on the verge of a major meltdown! |
1.4573 |
0.03116 |
468 |
302 |
118 |
48 |
127 |
I just can't stop thinking my thoughts are being shaped by other people. |
1.4567 |
0.03219 |
462 |
304 |
105 |
53 |
128 |
I screamed… and then she screamed and it’s like we all screamed |
1.4566 |
0.03110 |
484 |
316 |
115 |
53 |
129 |
Sometimes, late at night, when my family is asleep, I dip my head in chocolate and pretend I’m popular.” |
1.4556 |
0.03327 |
439 |
291 |
96 |
52 |
130 |
I think my wife is double dipping. |
1.4551 |
0.03159 |
468 |
306 |
111 |
51 |
131 |
I feel so alone since the banana split |
1.4533 |
0.03342 |
439 |
293 |
93 |
53 |
132 |
No one takes my headaches seriously. |
1.4525 |
0.03127 |
453 |
292 |
117 |
44 |
133 |
I scream. No one listens. |
1.4521 |
0.03131 |
449 |
289 |
117 |
43 |
134 |
This ice cream headache is killing me. |
1.4512 |
0.03254 |
410 |
263 |
109 |
38 |
135 |
My wife has Breyer’s remorse. |
1.4500 |
0.03276 |
480 |
328 |
88 |
64 |
136 |
Why am I always a guilty pleasure, never just a pleasure? |
1.4499 |
0.03285 |
429 |
282 |
101 |
46 |
137 |
I’m always worried she’ll drop me. |
1.4476 |
0.03442 |
382 |
250 |
93 |
39 |
138 |
And to make matters worse, my wife is lactose intolerant. |
1.4463 |
0.03413 |
410 |
274 |
89 |
47 |
139 |
She says I give her a headache. |
1.4463 |
0.03388 |
428 |
289 |
87 |
52 |
140 |
She said that I was too vanilla... |
1.4461 |
0.03093 |
408 |
255 |
124 |
29 |
141 |
Always MISTER Softee. What good is that PhD? |
1.4457 |
0.03278 |
433 |
287 |
99 |
47 |
142 |
I can still hear their screams... |
1.4452 |
0.03249 |
420 |
274 |
105 |
41 |
143 |
She said I was too vanilla for her. |
1.4439 |
0.03305 |
410 |
269 |
100 |
41 |
144 |
I identify as custard |
1.4410 |
0.03346 |
415 |
277 |
93 |
45 |
145 |
...and then they ALL scream. |
1.4390 |
0.03568 |
369 |
248 |
80 |
41 |
146 |
No, summer holidays weren't fun either. |
1.4385 |
0.03288 |
390 |
253 |
103 |
34 |
147 |
Apparently, I was just the flavor of the month. |
1.4379 |
0.03107 |
443 |
289 |
114 |
40 |
148 |
I’ve got perpetual brain freeze. |
1.4378 |
0.03369 |
402 |
268 |
92 |
42 |
149 |
Let's talk about your most recent meltdown. |
1.4375 |
0.03580 |
384 |
263 |
74 |
47 |
150 |
You hear the song too, right? |
1.4373 |
0.03438 |
391 |
262 |
87 |
42 |
151 |
I’m trying to love myself, but I’m lactose intolerant. |
1.4368 |
0.03390 |
380 |
250 |
94 |
36 |
152 |
Hey Doc ..... would you mind moving the lamp? |
1.4364 |
0.03605 |
346 |
230 |
81 |
35 |
153 |
I don’t know… I just feel licked. |
1.4348 |
0.03320 |
345 |
218 |
104 |
23 |
154 |
I feel like my life is swirling out of control |
1.4344 |
0.03383 |
343 |
219 |
99 |
25 |
155 |
I’m having a meltdown. |
1.4337 |
0.03658 |
362 |
248 |
71 |
43 |
156 |
My dad loved Ice Cream…at least once, apparently. |
1.4334 |
0.03585 |
383 |
264 |
72 |
47 |
157 |
everyone expects me to make them happy |
1.4332 |
0.03453 |
367 |
243 |
89 |
35 |
158 |
Is “brain freeze” really a diagnosis? |
1.4330 |
0.03272 |
418 |
279 |
97 |
42 |
159 |
I’m just having a lot of anxiety about global warming right now. |
1.4328 |
0.03419 |
372 |
246 |
91 |
35 |
160 |
A sherbet, Doc. She left me for a sherbet. |
1.4320 |
0.03522 |
375 |
254 |
80 |
41 |
161 |
One minute I'm having brain freeze and the next minute a total meltdown. |
1.4319 |
0.03679 |
345 |
234 |
73 |
38 |
162 |
I wet the bed. |
1.4318 |
0.03760 |
396 |
287 |
47 |
62 |
163 |
Really? You think this fear of the sun is all in my head? |
1.4314 |
0.03316 |
401 |
267 |
95 |
39 |
164 |
And then I just ...froze. |
1.4313 |
0.03199 |
415 |
273 |
105 |
37 |
165 |
Apparently I have an edible complex. |
1.4309 |
0.03486 |
362 |
241 |
86 |
35 |
166 |
Let's make it quick. I'm melting in this suit. |
1.4309 |
0.03433 |
376 |
251 |
88 |
37 |
167 |
I have this recurring nightmare where I scream, you scream, we all scream... |
1.4308 |
0.03609 |
390 |
273 |
66 |
51 |
168 |
I've been dealing with brain freeze my whole life. |
1.4293 |
0.03476 |
396 |
272 |
78 |
46 |
169 |
I feel I’m always just on the verge of a complete meltdown. |
1.4289 |
0.03504 |
408 |
285 |
71 |
52 |
170 |
It seems like everyone wants to bite my head off. |
1.4286 |
0.03358 |
406 |
275 |
88 |
43 |
171 |
The prospect of kids terrifies me. |
1.4282 |
0.03578 |
355 |
240 |
78 |
37 |
172 |
Why am I always so self-serving? |
1.4281 |
0.03939 |
320 |
223 |
57 |
40 |
173 |
Everybody wants to bite my head off. |
1.4275 |
0.03431 |
400 |
274 |
81 |
45 |
174 |
And I only found out because the baby came out a swirl. |
1.4275 |
0.03542 |
386 |
267 |
73 |
46 |
175 |
Everything is a lot harder than I thought. |
1.4272 |
0.03632 |
316 |
208 |
81 |
27 |
176 |
I hate it when my wife spoons me. |
1.4262 |
0.03562 |
366 |
250 |
76 |
40 |
177 |
I've always hated being called a dairy queen. |
1.4261 |
0.03391 |
352 |
230 |
94 |
28 |
178 |
I feel like my life is just melting away |
1.4254 |
0.03464 |
355 |
236 |
87 |
32 |
179 |
I'm on the verge of a complete meltdown. |
1.4250 |
0.03337 |
400 |
270 |
90 |
40 |
180 |
My wife says she's lactose intolerant. |
1.4235 |
0.03475 |
366 |
247 |
83 |
36 |
181 |
Well summer’s not much fun, |
1.4235 |
0.03228 |
392 |
258 |
102 |
32 |
182 |
She left me for the flavor of the month. |
1.4232 |
0.03399 |
371 |
248 |
89 |
34 |
183 |
I've had some hard licks in life. |
1.4230 |
0.03715 |
331 |
226 |
70 |
35 |
184 |
And my wife ran away with the spoon. |
1.4220 |
0.03647 |
327 |
220 |
76 |
31 |
185 |
I scream on the inside. |
1.4220 |
0.03573 |
346 |
234 |
78 |
34 |
186 |
I think I'm headed for a meltdown. |
1.4218 |
0.03441 |
358 |
239 |
87 |
32 |
187 |
She left me for a waffle cone |
1.4214 |
0.03468 |
337 |
222 |
88 |
27 |
188 |
What does it mean when you dream you're falling and you hear children crying? |
1.4212 |
0.04076 |
292 |
204 |
53 |
35 |
189 |
Turns out I was just her flavor of the day… |
1.4203 |
0.03626 |
345 |
236 |
73 |
36 |
190 |
How would you feel if your wife calls you Mr. Softy, |
1.4176 |
0.03639 |
352 |
244 |
69 |
39 |
191 |
I want to get the dip but my wife says it’s cultural appropriation. |
1.4174 |
0.03719 |
321 |
219 |
70 |
32 |
192 |
"So they said I should just come out as a Dairy Queen." |
1.4157 |
0.03631 |
344 |
237 |
71 |
36 |
193 |
I've certainly taken my licks. |
1.4157 |
0.03577 |
332 |
224 |
78 |
30 |
194 |
Do you know what "Mister Softee" looks like on a dating profile? |
1.4150 |
0.03721 |
347 |
244 |
62 |
41 |
195 |
Everyone seems happy to see me but nobody takes me seriously. |
1.4149 |
0.03931 |
282 |
192 |
63 |
27 |
196 |
At least you only went bald. |
1.4147 |
0.03638 |
340 |
234 |
71 |
35 |
197 |
Well, you'd have an inferiority complex too if you were called "Mr. Softee" your whole life.... |
1.4139 |
0.03609 |
331 |
225 |
75 |
31 |
198 |
I scream, you scream, we all scream. But for what? |
1.4129 |
0.03839 |
310 |
215 |
62 |
33 |
199 |
How am I supposed to meet women with a name like 'Mr. Softee'? |
1.4128 |
0.03629 |
344 |
238 |
70 |
36 |
200 |
No one wants to date a guy named Mr. Softee. |
1.4128 |
0.03855 |
344 |
248 |
50 |
46 |
201 |
My wife says I'm too soft on the kids. |
1.4125 |
0.03819 |
303 |
208 |
65 |
30 |
202 |
One minute she’s calling me sweet, the next she’s biting my head off |
1.4121 |
0.04096 |
313 |
228 |
41 |
44 |
203 |
Well, doc, you see, um, I have trouble staying hard. |
1.4108 |
0.03779 |
353 |
254 |
53 |
46 |
204 |
I am always on the verge of a complete meltdown. |
1.4105 |
0.04114 |
285 |
202 |
49 |
34 |
205 |
I can’t shake feeling licked by life |
1.4103 |
0.03755 |
290 |
195 |
71 |
24 |
206 |
I know I'm licked. When I meet someone hot, I just melt. |
1.4094 |
0.03712 |
342 |
241 |
62 |
39 |
207 |
I just never know if people like me for MYSELF. |
1.4089 |
0.03780 |
269 |
178 |
72 |
19 |
208 |
Do you have any idea how hard it is to meet women when your name is Mr. Softee? |
1.4088 |
0.03852 |
296 |
204 |
63 |
29 |
209 |
All I see are tongues everywhere. |
1.4086 |
0.03687 |
301 |
203 |
73 |
25 |
210 |
I can’t escape the feeling that below the surface, I’m just empty. |
1.4078 |
0.03898 |
309 |
218 |
56 |
35 |
211 |
A classic edible complex Doc. |
1.4074 |
0.03841 |
297 |
205 |
63 |
29 |
212 |
Is it OK if I scream? |
1.4073 |
0.03909 |
302 |
212 |
57 |
33 |
213 |
She left me for some Gelato. |
1.4067 |
0.03861 |
327 |
234 |
53 |
40 |
214 |
I had another meltdown yesterday. |
1.4065 |
0.03638 |
310 |
210 |
74 |
26 |
215 |
I'm really worried about climate change. |
1.4065 |
0.03751 |
310 |
214 |
66 |
30 |
216 |
My wife thinks I'm twisted and cold. |
1.4063 |
0.03625 |
315 |
214 |
74 |
27 |
217 |
I feel like I’m just the flavor of the month. |
1.4051 |
0.03474 |
316 |
210 |
84 |
22 |
218 |
My mother? Cold. Distant. She's the reason I came out twisted. |
1.4050 |
0.04050 |
279 |
196 |
53 |
30 |
219 |
She wanted toppings; I didn’t. |
1.4049 |
0.03773 |
284 |
192 |
69 |
23 |
220 |
Can I still get cremated? |
1.4043 |
0.03922 |
282 |
195 |
60 |
27 |
221 |
I'd like to find a girl just like my Mom - but with sprinkles. |
1.4040 |
0.03926 |
297 |
209 |
56 |
32 |
222 |
I scream, you scream….it’s all too much conflict. |
1.4036 |
0.03961 |
275 |
190 |
59 |
26 |
223 |
My father would tell me I wasn’t worth a lick. |
1.4032 |
0.03748 |
310 |
215 |
65 |
30 |
224 |
I still regret not getting sprinkles. |
1.4026 |
0.03782 |
303 |
210 |
64 |
29 |
225 |
Nice try, doc. No, it's NOT better than being bald. |
1.4023 |
0.04076 |
261 |
181 |
55 |
25 |
226 |
I just want someone to love me for who I am. Even on the cold days. |
1.4019 |
0.03585 |
316 |
215 |
75 |
26 |
227 |
My wife’s threatening to dessert me. |
1.4018 |
0.03511 |
336 |
230 |
77 |
29 |
228 |
…and that’s when she said she’s more of a cake person. |
1.4015 |
0.03867 |
274 |
187 |
64 |
23 |
229 |
I’m experiencing existential dread about global warming. |
1.4007 |
0.03965 |
307 |
221 |
49 |
37 |
230 |
I feel I'm just somebody's Flavor of the Month. |
1.4006 |
0.03577 |
337 |
234 |
71 |
32 |
231 |
I have this recurring nightmare that I'm upside down on the sidewalk. |
1.4000 |
0.03793 |
295 |
204 |
64 |
27 |
232 |
I’m tired of being the flavor of the month. |
1.3993 |
0.04013 |
288 |
205 |
51 |
32 |
233 |
I know I sound a little twisted. |
1.3987 |
0.03497 |
316 |
213 |
80 |
23 |
234 |
I scream, but no one listens. |
1.3987 |
0.03752 |
306 |
213 |
64 |
29 |
235 |
If I hear "Keep a cool head!" one more time . . . |
1.3986 |
0.03891 |
291 |
204 |
58 |
29 |
236 |
…and then she said “I’m lactose intolerant”… |
1.3980 |
0.03910 |
304 |
217 |
53 |
34 |
237 |
I have a recurring dream about being licked. |
1.3978 |
0.03758 |
274 |
185 |
69 |
20 |
238 |
My doubles partner says I'm a soft serve. |
1.3975 |
0.03629 |
317 |
219 |
70 |
28 |
239 |
I feel like girls only want to date me for one thing ... |
1.3973 |
0.03693 |
292 |
199 |
70 |
23 |
240 |
I'm a Dairy Queen in a Burger King body. |
1.3972 |
0.04081 |
287 |
207 |
46 |
34 |
241 |
Except for this head cold, I feel fine, Doc. |
1.3965 |
0.03854 |
285 |
198 |
61 |
26 |
242 |
Brain freezes aside, now my wife claims she’s lactose intolerant. |
1.3964 |
0.03803 |
280 |
192 |
65 |
23 |
243 |
With a name like "Mr. Softee" seems to be a turn-ff with the ladies. |
1.3953 |
0.03890 |
253 |
171 |
64 |
18 |
244 |
I got fired from my reporter job because I never got a scoop. |
1.3947 |
0.03649 |
304 |
209 |
70 |
25 |
245 |
Sometimes I feel everyone is sticking their tongue out at me. |
1.3943 |
0.03598 |
317 |
219 |
71 |
27 |
246 |
My relationship with my children feel so transactional. |
1.3942 |
0.04064 |
241 |
165 |
57 |
19 |
247 |
Yes, I still have nightmares of Sundae School. |
1.3942 |
0.04062 |
274 |
195 |
50 |
29 |
248 |
I was a middle child… the 16th of 31 flavors. |
1.3942 |
0.03996 |
274 |
193 |
54 |
27 |
249 |
No matter what I do, I'm licked. |
1.3939 |
0.03859 |
297 |
210 |
57 |
30 |
250 |
Then she left me for two Jewish guys in Vermont... |
1.3936 |
0.04398 |
249 |
181 |
38 |
30 |
251 |
Everybody's screaming. |
1.3930 |
0.03885 |
257 |
175 |
63 |
19 |
252 |
It seems no one wants plain vanilla any more. |
1.3925 |
0.03680 |
293 |
201 |
69 |
23 |
253 |
Most days, I just feel licked. |
1.3922 |
0.03869 |
283 |
198 |
59 |
26 |
254 |
After I introduce myself as Mister Softee, I never get a second date. |
1.3912 |
0.03885 |
294 |
209 |
55 |
30 |
255 |
Last summer I had a total meltdown. |
1.3903 |
0.03942 |
269 |
188 |
57 |
24 |
256 |
...and then my girlfriend called me Mr. Softee. How am I supposed to live with that? |
1.3898 |
0.03784 |
295 |
207 |
61 |
27 |
257 |
My life has lost its flavor. |
1.3897 |
0.03861 |
290 |
205 |
57 |
28 |
258 |
My mother liked Chocolate more |
1.3895 |
0.03782 |
285 |
198 |
63 |
24 |
259 |
The melt downs are non stop |
1.3893 |
0.04025 |
280 |
201 |
49 |
30 |
260 |
Friends? Suddenly, they’re all lactose intolerant. |
1.3893 |
0.04025 |
280 |
201 |
49 |
30 |
261 |
Sometimes I scream for no reason at all |
1.3887 |
0.04158 |
265 |
191 |
45 |
29 |
262 |
Before we talk,do you have a napkin? |
1.3876 |
0.04205 |
258 |
186 |
44 |
28 |
263 |
I'm not sure if I am lactose intolerant or if it's all in my head |
1.3872 |
0.03970 |
266 |
187 |
55 |
24 |
264 |
...I've been hearing these screams. |
1.3872 |
0.03671 |
297 |
206 |
67 |
24 |
265 |
Where’s this going Doc? First you scream, then I scream. Pretty soon… |
1.3868 |
0.04011 |
287 |
208 |
47 |
32 |
266 |
Doc, I'm afraid I won't be able to lick this problem. |
1.3863 |
0.03923 |
277 |
196 |
55 |
26 |
267 |
Actually, my childhood was hard. |
1.3862 |
0.03700 |
290 |
201 |
66 |
23 |
268 |
I can’t focus - my thoughts are swirling. |
1.3862 |
0.03535 |
290 |
196 |
76 |
18 |
269 |
People assume I'm cool-minded, but honestly I feel like I'm always on the verge of a meltdown. |
1.3860 |
0.03941 |
272 |
192 |
55 |
25 |
270 |
I enjoy being whipped. |
1.3860 |
0.03611 |
285 |
194 |
72 |
19 |
271 |
I think I'm LGBTDQ |
1.3859 |
0.04461 |
241 |
177 |
35 |
29 |
272 |
Just once, I would’ve liked to have been flavor of the month.” |
1.3855 |
0.04120 |
262 |
188 |
47 |
27 |
273 |
Well, my mother is Neapolitan. |
1.3855 |
0.03806 |
275 |
191 |
62 |
22 |
274 |
It's more of an upward spiral. |
1.3849 |
0.03977 |
278 |
199 |
51 |
28 |
275 |
Ever since she discovered oat milk, she doesn’t look at me the way she did before. |
1.3849 |
0.03742 |
278 |
192 |
65 |
21 |
276 |
I thought I was her Dairy King. |
1.3843 |
0.03644 |
281 |
192 |
70 |
19 |
277 |
I see you got new furniture since my last meltdown. |
1.3843 |
0.04288 |
242 |
174 |
43 |
25 |
278 |
I don't do public speaking because I tend to freeze. |
1.3837 |
0.03538 |
258 |
170 |
77 |
11 |
279 |
I just don't like being licked all the time. Know what I mean? |
1.3836 |
0.04189 |
219 |
151 |
52 |
16 |
280 |
"I would've been a great tennis player if it wasn't for my soft serve." |
1.3826 |
0.04058 |
264 |
189 |
49 |
26 |
281 |
Is it warm in here? |
1.3825 |
0.03641 |
285 |
196 |
69 |
20 |
282 |
Ok. I’ll let you. In lieu of payment. |
1.3824 |
0.04257 |
238 |
170 |
45 |
23 |
283 |
Brain freeze? Is that all you’ve got? |
1.3813 |
0.04063 |
257 |
183 |
50 |
24 |
284 |
I'll get straight to the pint. |
1.3812 |
0.04035 |
223 |
152 |
57 |
14 |
285 |
Are they really all screaming for me? |
1.3811 |
0.03865 |
265 |
185 |
59 |
21 |
286 |
But it’s not just you or I. They all scream. |
1.3808 |
0.04138 |
260 |
188 |
45 |
27 |
287 |
My wife complains that Iv'e become a bit frosty. |
1.3808 |
0.04029 |
239 |
166 |
55 |
18 |
288 |
It’s only a matter of time before I have a total meltdown |
1.3803 |
0.04089 |
234 |
163 |
53 |
18 |
289 |
It just feels like my head is in a swirl. |
1.3798 |
0.03700 |
258 |
175 |
68 |
15 |
290 |
I was born a dairy king, but I feel more like a dairy queen. |
1.3795 |
0.04119 |
224 |
155 |
53 |
16 |
291 |
They treat me like I'm dispensable. |
1.3793 |
0.04053 |
261 |
187 |
49 |
25 |
292 |
I don’t understand why nobody seems to look me in the eyes. |
1.3793 |
0.03926 |
232 |
158 |
60 |
14 |
293 |
It's the same dream every time. I'm in a truck being chased by a bunch of screaming kids while a hideous tune plays over and over... |
1.3793 |
0.04376 |
232 |
168 |
40 |
24 |
294 |
My mother was...cold. |
1.3784 |
0.04111 |
259 |
187 |
46 |
26 |
295 |
I’m on the verge of a meltdown. |
1.3784 |
0.04074 |
259 |
186 |
48 |
25 |
296 |
Summers are the worst. |
1.3782 |
0.04082 |
238 |
167 |
52 |
19 |
297 |
They used to all scream for me. |
1.3778 |
0.03811 |
270 |
189 |
60 |
21 |
298 |
Am I too self-serving? |
1.3777 |
0.04098 |
278 |
205 |
41 |
32 |
299 |
Mother never gave me sprinkles. |
1.3777 |
0.04360 |
233 |
169 |
40 |
24 |
300 |
...Well it’s over, apparently she’s going lactose-free. |
1.3775 |
0.04074 |
249 |
177 |
50 |
22 |
301 |
A month ago, she couldn't get enough, but yesterday I saw her checking out the apple cider donuts. |
1.3773 |
0.03672 |
273 |
188 |
67 |
18 |
302 |
What do you think is triggering these meltdowns? |
1.3768 |
0.03855 |
276 |
196 |
56 |
24 |
303 |
He gets to be the Burger King and I have to be the Dairy Queen? Is that fair? |
1.3766 |
0.04029 |
231 |
160 |
55 |
16 |
304 |
I had another meltdown. |
1.3766 |
0.04211 |
231 |
164 |
47 |
20 |
305 |
Never believed in this 'you are what you eat' thing and look at me now! |
1.3760 |
0.04083 |
258 |
186 |
47 |
25 |
306 |
Mother always wanted a sundae. |
1.3759 |
0.03874 |
274 |
195 |
55 |
24 |
307 |
It didn’t help that my mother was a chocolate lover. |
1.3755 |
0.03599 |
245 |
163 |
72 |
10 |
308 |
She’s French kissing me one minute, then says she has a headache the next… |
1.3745 |
0.04277 |
251 |
185 |
38 |
28 |
309 |
My thoughts are constantly swirling around in my head. |
1.3745 |
0.04018 |
243 |
171 |
53 |
19 |
310 |
First I scream and then they scream and then we all scream and then I wake up |
1.3744 |
0.04655 |
227 |
171 |
27 |
29 |
311 |
Do you think I have an edible complex? |
1.3739 |
0.04087 |
222 |
154 |
53 |
15 |
312 |
They were all screaming... screaming for me. |
1.3735 |
0.04302 |
249 |
184 |
37 |
28 |
313 |
My wife claims I give her headaches. |
1.3735 |
0.03865 |
249 |
173 |
59 |
17 |
314 |
He screams, she screams. They all scream. |
1.3735 |
0.03907 |
249 |
174 |
57 |
18 |
315 |
Last night in bed she yelled out "Ben!" . And then "Jerry". |
1.3734 |
0.04248 |
241 |
175 |
42 |
24 |
316 |
I feel like I'm melting,but I know it's all in my head. |
1.3730 |
0.04328 |
244 |
180 |
37 |
27 |
317 |
I dreamed about tongues again. |
1.3729 |
0.04271 |
236 |
171 |
42 |
23 |
318 |
I keep having unexpected meltdowns. |
1.3714 |
0.04114 |
245 |
176 |
47 |
22 |
319 |
Why is it that women always want chocolate? |
1.3709 |
0.03893 |
275 |
198 |
52 |
25 |
320 |
On top of everything else, she left me for a smoothie. |
1.3709 |
0.03789 |
275 |
195 |
58 |
22 |
321 |
Brain freeze. |
1.3705 |
0.03963 |
251 |
178 |
53 |
20 |
322 |
My mother? She was always very cold |
1.3704 |
0.04108 |
216 |
150 |
52 |
14 |
323 |
They say I’m cone-dependent. |
1.3702 |
0.04152 |
235 |
168 |
47 |
20 |
324 |
My wife makes me sleep in the freezer. |
1.3697 |
0.04199 |
238 |
172 |
44 |
22 |
325 |
I just feel like everything I’ve worked for is melting away. |
1.3693 |
0.04077 |
241 |
172 |
49 |
20 |
326 |
“My wife says I’m too soft on our kids.” |
1.3682 |
0.03602 |
258 |
176 |
69 |
13 |
327 |
I wouldn’t characterize it so much as brain fog…it’s more like brain freeze |
1.3682 |
0.04100 |
239 |
171 |
48 |
20 |
328 |
It’s hard not to take global warming personally |
1.3680 |
0.04289 |
231 |
168 |
41 |
22 |
329 |
So many things are just swirling around my head. |
1.3680 |
0.04017 |
231 |
162 |
53 |
16 |
330 |
My childhood? Well, I guess my mother was always a little frosty... |
1.3676 |
0.03897 |
253 |
179 |
55 |
19 |
331 |
I have all these thoughts swirling around in my head. |
1.3672 |
0.03825 |
256 |
180 |
58 |
18 |
332 |
It’s just so hard to stay chill! |
1.3672 |
0.03533 |
256 |
173 |
72 |
11 |
333 |
I always feel like I am about to have a melt down. |
1.3671 |
0.04166 |
237 |
171 |
45 |
21 |
334 |
I'm afraid I'm getting soft. |
1.3671 |
0.03663 |
237 |
160 |
67 |
10 |
335 |
I feel as though my brain is melting! |
1.3668 |
0.04133 |
229 |
163 |
48 |
18 |
336 |
I was the Dairy Queen until drag shows were made illegal. |
1.3668 |
0.04060 |
259 |
189 |
45 |
25 |
337 |
Before we get started could you do me a favor and turn the heat down? |
1.3663 |
0.04091 |
243 |
175 |
47 |
21 |
338 |
Everybody assumes that I’m soft all over, but it’s just in my head. |
1.3663 |
0.04091 |
243 |
175 |
47 |
21 |
339 |
Our date was going so well until I told her she could lick me. |
1.3662 |
0.04500 |
213 |
156 |
36 |
21 |
340 |
I just can't stop melting down in public. |
1.3660 |
0.03967 |
235 |
165 |
54 |
16 |
341 |
To this day, I've never been allowed back inside that haberdashery, and it hurts. |
1.3659 |
0.04416 |
205 |
147 |
41 |
17 |
342 |
I can’t afford to have another meltdown. |
1.3655 |
0.03977 |
238 |
168 |
53 |
17 |
343 |
Being called Mr. Softee gives me performance anxiety. |
1.3648 |
0.04258 |
233 |
170 |
41 |
22 |
344 |
I've got brain freeze |
1.3647 |
0.03750 |
255 |
178 |
61 |
16 |
345 |
Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night and I scream |
1.3644 |
0.04228 |
225 |
162 |
44 |
19 |
346 |
Never known a day without brain freeze. |
1.3644 |
0.04131 |
236 |
170 |
46 |
20 |
347 |
Is it just me? Or is it hot in here? |
1.3641 |
0.03926 |
217 |
149 |
57 |
11 |
348 |
They find me attractive, but afterward they feel ashamed. |
1.3640 |
0.04369 |
228 |
168 |
37 |
23 |
349 |
I constantly Fear Global Warming |
1.3640 |
0.04262 |
239 |
176 |
39 |
24 |
350 |
Sometimes I wish I could be harder. |
1.3636 |
0.04148 |
220 |
156 |
48 |
16 |
351 |
Then she said I was cold |
1.3636 |
0.04194 |
231 |
167 |
44 |
20 |
352 |
Fine then, I'll start at the beginning. My parents were always very cold to me... |
1.3633 |
0.04104 |
245 |
178 |
45 |
22 |
353 |
It’s just been a week since my mother melted. |
1.3633 |
0.03719 |
245 |
169 |
63 |
13 |
354 |
She says she loves me, but that I’m no good for her. |
1.3629 |
0.04287 |
237 |
175 |
38 |
24 |
355 |
The first time I laid eyes on her I just melted. |
1.3624 |
0.03985 |
229 |
161 |
53 |
15 |
356 |
Doc,I am having a meltdown! |
1.3621 |
0.03871 |
243 |
171 |
56 |
16 |
357 |
I’ll never be able to lick this |
1.3620 |
0.04231 |
221 |
159 |
44 |
18 |
358 |
Now my wife thinks she is lactose intolerant. |
1.3613 |
0.04102 |
238 |
172 |
46 |
20 |
359 |
What I really wanted to be remembered for was my music. |
1.3612 |
0.04056 |
227 |
161 |
50 |
16 |
360 |
All my life I thought I was cream, but my mother just told me we were ice milk. |
1.3612 |
0.03704 |
227 |
154 |
64 |
9 |
361 |
I've come to realize I can't lick this problem myself, Doctor. |
1.3609 |
0.04112 |
230 |
165 |
47 |
18 |
362 |
It is nice to be wanted, but why does everybody keep screaming for me? |
1.3609 |
0.03971 |
230 |
162 |
53 |
15 |
363 |
I'm afraid I'm having a meltdown. |
1.3607 |
0.04783 |
183 |
134 |
32 |
17 |
364 |
I had a killer backhand but was doomed by my soft serve. |
1.3600 |
0.04030 |
225 |
159 |
51 |
15 |
365 |
She broke up with me because she claimed that I was too vanilla. |
1.3596 |
0.04407 |
228 |
170 |
34 |
24 |
366 |
Supposedly my personality is too vanilla. |
1.3595 |
0.04176 |
242 |
178 |
41 |
23 |
367 |
Everyone says my mind is twisted. |
1.3595 |
0.04009 |
242 |
174 |
49 |
19 |
368 |
I met somebody but she's dairy free. |
1.3594 |
0.04283 |
217 |
157 |
42 |
18 |
369 |
It’s just that every morning there’s always more than just a chance of sprinkles. |
1.3593 |
0.04004 |
231 |
164 |
51 |
16 |
370 |
I can't shake the idea that my life is just plain vanilla. |
1.3592 |
0.04170 |
206 |
145 |
48 |
13 |
371 |
Ok give me the scoop! |
1.3586 |
0.04111 |
237 |
172 |
45 |
20 |
372 |
She said our sex life was too vanilla |
1.3586 |
0.04154 |
237 |
173 |
43 |
21 |
373 |
I’m not a queen! I’m a king! |
1.3585 |
0.04504 |
212 |
157 |
34 |
21 |
374 |
Being coolheaded is overrated. |
1.3578 |
0.04252 |
204 |
145 |
45 |
14 |
375 |
It all started when they came out with that poop emoji. |
1.3578 |
0.04600 |
218 |
165 |
28 |
25 |
376 |
And then she asked me if I’ve ever considered sprinkles |
1.3574 |
0.04000 |
235 |
168 |
50 |
17 |
377 |
Why am I only attracted to lactose intolerant people?" |
1.3571 |
0.04231 |
224 |
163 |
42 |
19 |
378 |
My thoughts keep swirling in my head. |
1.3571 |
0.04231 |
224 |
163 |
42 |
19 |
379 |
I just feel so cold inside. |
1.3568 |
0.04328 |
227 |
168 |
37 |
22 |
380 |
I'm worried I'm going soft in the head. |
1.3568 |
0.03849 |
213 |
146 |
58 |
9 |
381 |
I feel I'm one lick away from a melt down. |
1.3568 |
0.04336 |
213 |
155 |
40 |
18 |
382 |
why does she only want to see me on her cheat days |
1.3568 |
0.04677 |
185 |
135 |
34 |
16 |
383 |
Yeah, I used to be bald too. But more importantly, what's with the fried egg rug? |
1.3565 |
0.04440 |
216 |
160 |
35 |
21 |
384 |
You’re too vanilla,” she said. What does that even mean |
1.3565 |
0.04242 |
216 |
156 |
43 |
17 |
385 |
Sixteen years of marriage & *now* she discovers she’s lactose intolerant? |
1.3562 |
0.04332 |
233 |
174 |
35 |
24 |
386 |
I'm afraid kids will find out that I'm really a Dairy Queen. |
1.3562 |
0.04022 |
233 |
167 |
49 |
17 |
387 |
OK Doc., here's the scoop. |
1.3562 |
0.04299 |
219 |
160 |
40 |
19 |
388 |
It just seems like when I make others happy, there is less of me. |
1.3561 |
0.04613 |
205 |
153 |
31 |
21 |
389 |
And then everybody started screaming. |
1.3559 |
0.04110 |
222 |
159 |
47 |
16 |
390 |
My biggest fear is having a meltdown. |
1.3558 |
0.04247 |
208 |
149 |
44 |
15 |
391 |
And then the cop said, ‘Freeze!’ |
1.3558 |
0.04302 |
208 |
150 |
42 |
16 |
392 |
To start, can I trust you to keep the air conditioning on high? |
1.3550 |
0.04364 |
200 |
144 |
41 |
15 |
393 |
Is it so much to ask for sprinkles? |
1.3550 |
0.03997 |
231 |
165 |
50 |
16 |
394 |
My fantasy is to be a Dairy Queen. . |
1.3548 |
0.04656 |
186 |
136 |
34 |
16 |
395 |
I want to be licked. |
1.3538 |
0.04188 |
212 |
152 |
45 |
15 |
396 |
I feel like I have little time left. |
1.3535 |
0.03932 |
215 |
150 |
54 |
11 |
397 |
...and everyone was just... screaming... |
1.3533 |
0.05018 |
150 |
108 |
31 |
11 |
398 |
It'd be easier to relax if you turned the thermostat down |
1.3532 |
0.04514 |
201 |
148 |
35 |
18 |
399 |
Doc, I just need to know- is it brain freeze? Or is it just all on my head? |
1.3532 |
0.04514 |
201 |
148 |
35 |
18 |
400 |
There's one problem I can't lick. |
1.3529 |
0.04314 |
221 |
163 |
38 |
20 |
401 |
I’m done, doc. I’m licked. |
1.3529 |
0.04246 |
187 |
131 |
46 |
10 |
402 |
It’s the music, doc. It follows me everywhere. |
1.3527 |
0.04080 |
224 |
161 |
47 |
16 |
403 |
She said the thrill is gone and left me for Ben & Jerry |
1.3527 |
0.04271 |
224 |
165 |
39 |
20 |
404 |
The doc said I have till Summer… |
1.3527 |
0.04271 |
224 |
165 |
39 |
20 |
405 |
Maybe it's because I'm such a big Softee. |
1.3527 |
0.04145 |
207 |
147 |
47 |
13 |
406 |
He screams. She screams. They all scream. And in that moment I just want to melt away. |
1.3521 |
0.04225 |
213 |
154 |
43 |
16 |
407 |
Everytime I close my eyes I see a huge tongue coming towards me! |
1.3518 |
0.04374 |
199 |
144 |
40 |
15 |
408 |
It doesn’t matter how hard I try, or what I do, people still see me as just plain vanilla. |
1.3517 |
0.04113 |
236 |
173 |
43 |
20 |
409 |
You ever hear of brain freeze? |
1.3516 |
0.04040 |
219 |
156 |
49 |
14 |
410 |
Sometimes I scream softly. |
1.3515 |
0.04440 |
202 |
148 |
37 |
17 |
411 |
I’m licked, Doctor. |
1.3515 |
0.04212 |
202 |
144 |
45 |
13 |
412 |
I think my repression comes from my parents. They were both so vanilla. And cold, come to think of it. |
1.3515 |
0.03988 |
239 |
173 |
48 |
18 |
413 |
It's same dream every night. Dozens of kids chasing after me. |
1.3514 |
0.04201 |
222 |
162 |
42 |
18 |
414 |
Of course I’m jealous! My brother was born a tiramisu gelato on a waffle cone! |
1.3512 |
0.04338 |
205 |
149 |
40 |
16 |
415 |
Ice Cream and Ice Cream, Doc, but nobody hears me. |
1.3511 |
0.03915 |
225 |
159 |
53 |
13 |
416 |
Women say I'm sweet, but I lack warmth. |
1.3510 |
0.04556 |
208 |
156 |
31 |
21 |
417 |
My wife says I'm too vanilla. |
1.3507 |
0.04143 |
211 |
151 |
46 |
14 |
418 |
My brother the snow cone was always the favorite, |
1.3505 |
0.04156 |
214 |
154 |
45 |
15 |
419 |
'I scream! You scream!' It's driving me mad! |
1.3504 |
0.04091 |
234 |
171 |
44 |
19 |
420 |
Even worse....I'm lactose intolerant. |
1.3503 |
0.04750 |
177 |
130 |
32 |
15 |
421 |
If things heat up at work, as I expect, I know I'm going to have a major meltdown. |
1.3502 |
0.04115 |
217 |
156 |
46 |
15 |
422 |
Life has been so vanilla lately |
1.3498 |
0.04422 |
203 |
149 |
37 |
17 |
423 |
So my lactose intolerance is just self-loathing? |
1.3498 |
0.04476 |
203 |
150 |
35 |
18 |
424 |
I really hate the music on the truck |
1.3496 |
0.04049 |
226 |
163 |
47 |
16 |
425 |
I'm telling you, if I don't chill out, I'm going to have a meltdown! |
1.3493 |
0.04435 |
209 |
155 |
35 |
19 |
426 |
My parents were always disappointed in me. They were Gelatos. |
1.3491 |
0.04637 |
212 |
162 |
26 |
24 |
427 |
It’s like one day you wake up and realise all your sprinkles are gone. |
1.3484 |
0.04401 |
221 |
166 |
33 |
22 |
428 |
It’s vanilla. Why did you ask? |
1.3484 |
0.04061 |
221 |
159 |
47 |
15 |
429 |
I feel like I'm on the brink of a meltdown. |
1.3478 |
0.04516 |
207 |
155 |
32 |
20 |
430 |
I guess it started when my mother told me, ‘You keep eating all these ice cream cones, you’re going to turn into one.’ |
1.3476 |
0.04312 |
210 |
154 |
39 |
17 |
431 |
I think the cone envy started in middle school gym class. |
1.3474 |
0.04511 |
190 |
139 |
36 |
15 |
432 |
But the same thoughts keep swirling in my head. |
1.3472 |
0.04227 |
216 |
158 |
41 |
17 |
433 |
My mother radiated such warmth. It was pure agony. |
1.3467 |
0.04423 |
199 |
146 |
37 |
16 |
434 |
I scream all the time. |
1.3463 |
0.04077 |
231 |
169 |
44 |
18 |
435 |
My wife says I’m a big softie. |
1.3459 |
0.03655 |
266 |
191 |
58 |
17 |
436 |
My head is spinning and I feel cold all of the time. |
1.3455 |
0.04066 |
246 |
183 |
41 |
22 |
437 |
My parents always wanted chocolate. |
1.3452 |
0.04734 |
197 |
150 |
26 |
21 |
438 |
Well, I survived the summer. |
1.3448 |
0.03946 |
203 |
142 |
52 |
9 |
439 |
I didn't expect that transitioning from being a Dairy Queen to a Dairy King would be so difficult. |
1.3447 |
0.04474 |
206 |
154 |
33 |
19 |
440 |
Everybody has been wanting to bite my head off. |
1.3447 |
0.04257 |
206 |
150 |
41 |
15 |
441 |
I'm not in Good Humor... |
1.3442 |
0.03803 |
215 |
150 |
56 |
9 |
442 |
All my friends have toppings. |
1.3434 |
0.04256 |
198 |
143 |
42 |
13 |
443 |
They say I've gone soft! |
1.3434 |
0.04134 |
198 |
141 |
46 |
11 |
444 |
She left me for two scoops of chocolate |
1.3433 |
0.03969 |
201 |
141 |
51 |
9 |
445 |
And that’s when she told me she was lactose intolerant. |
1.3431 |
0.04609 |
204 |
155 |
28 |
21 |
446 |
I've always felt inadequate for not being dipped |
1.3431 |
0.04169 |
204 |
147 |
44 |
13 |
447 |
I struggle with brain freeze. |
1.3430 |
0.04402 |
207 |
154 |
35 |
18 |
448 |
And then the headaches started. |
1.3430 |
0.04559 |
207 |
157 |
29 |
21 |
449 |
It's all kinda swirling around in there. |
1.3430 |
0.04070 |
207 |
148 |
47 |
12 |
450 |
I screamed; they screamed; and then we all screamed. |
1.3429 |
0.04511 |
210 |
159 |
30 |
21 |
451 |
My mother was such a Dairy Queen. |
1.3429 |
0.04087 |
210 |
151 |
46 |
13 |
452 |
Every day is like a Sundae... |
1.3429 |
0.04343 |
175 |
124 |
42 |
9 |
453 |
I dread going to the beach. I witnessed my sister being abducted by a seagull." |
1.3426 |
0.04219 |
216 |
159 |
40 |
17 |
454 |
I'm always having to say HEY, my eyes are down here !! |
1.3425 |
0.04660 |
181 |
134 |
32 |
15 |
455 |
My head is always swirling. |
1.3425 |
0.04127 |
219 |
160 |
43 |
16 |
456 |
I'm seriously worried about global warming, Doc. And don't tell me it's all in my head |
1.3418 |
0.04578 |
196 |
147 |
31 |
18 |
457 |
I can't help but suffer an emotional meltdown. |
1.3416 |
0.04310 |
202 |
148 |
39 |
15 |
458 |
I’m struggling to avoid a meltdown here. |
1.3413 |
0.04277 |
208 |
153 |
39 |
16 |
459 |
I feel like I have a head cold, doc. |
1.3412 |
0.04728 |
170 |
125 |
32 |
13 |
460 |
It’s not self-hatred, Doc. I’m just lactose intolerant. |
1.3410 |
0.04811 |
173 |
129 |
29 |
15 |
461 |
“I’m telling you, doc! Everywhere I go, people scream and scream and scream…” |
1.3404 |
0.04656 |
188 |
141 |
30 |
17 |
462 |
My wife says I've been too soft on the kids. |
1.3403 |
0.04542 |
191 |
142 |
33 |
16 |
463 |
- you are what you eat. I can live with that. |
1.3400 |
0.04452 |
200 |
149 |
34 |
17 |
464 |
Could this just be a case of brain freeze? |
1.3399 |
0.04292 |
203 |
149 |
39 |
15 |
465 |
Everyone tries to top me. |
1.3399 |
0.04118 |
203 |
146 |
45 |
12 |
466 |
Mother never let me have any sprinkles |
1.3397 |
0.04260 |
209 |
154 |
39 |
16 |
467 |
No tissues, thank you. I prefer a giant fistful of paper napkins.” |
1.3397 |
0.04038 |
209 |
150 |
47 |
12 |
468 |
Nobody really wants to be remembered as “Mister Softee” |
1.3396 |
0.04110 |
212 |
154 |
44 |
14 |
469 |
Thanks for cranking up the AC! |
1.3391 |
0.04040 |
233 |
172 |
43 |
18 |
470 |
It all started when she said she was lactose intolerant. |
1.3390 |
0.04521 |
177 |
129 |
36 |
12 |
471 |
The screams, doc, I can't handle the screams. |
1.3389 |
0.04803 |
180 |
136 |
27 |
17 |
472 |
She said she's "lactose intolerant" |
1.3389 |
0.04398 |
180 |
130 |
39 |
11 |
473 |
Thank you for seeing me so soon, I’m having a real meltdown. |
1.3386 |
0.04449 |
189 |
139 |
36 |
14 |
474 |
When I see her, my head just melts and I’m a mess |
1.3383 |
0.04376 |
201 |
149 |
36 |
16 |
475 |
I keep dreaming of being licked. |
1.3382 |
0.04160 |
204 |
148 |
43 |
13 |
476 |
Girls don't like me. I'm soft. |
1.3381 |
0.04078 |
210 |
152 |
45 |
13 |
477 |
Climate change worries me, Doc. |
1.3380 |
0.04261 |
216 |
161 |
37 |
18 |
478 |
They call me a dairy queen. |
1.3377 |
0.04004 |
228 |
167 |
45 |
16 |
479 |
I have all these thoughts just swirling around in my head |
1.3370 |
0.04780 |
181 |
137 |
27 |
17 |
480 |
My wife says I've been cold and distant. What choice do I have? |
1.3368 |
0.04170 |
190 |
136 |
44 |
10 |
481 |
I’m “ too vanilla” according to her… |
1.3367 |
0.04394 |
196 |
145 |
36 |
15 |
482 |
To her, I was just the next Flavor of the month! She’s moved on Doc! |
1.3367 |
0.04453 |
196 |
146 |
34 |
16 |
483 |
And when people say they are lactose intolerant how does that make you feel? |
1.3367 |
0.04106 |
199 |
143 |
45 |
11 |
484 |
And now with climate change I am even more anxious. |
1.3367 |
0.04044 |
199 |
142 |
47 |
10 |
485 |
I can't focus, doc. My thoughts keep swirling. |
1.3367 |
0.04462 |
199 |
149 |
33 |
17 |
486 |
And then she told me I was too vanilla in the bedroom |
1.3366 |
0.04581 |
205 |
157 |
27 |
21 |
487 |
I had another meltdown on sundae.. |
1.3365 |
0.04322 |
208 |
155 |
36 |
17 |
488 |
Then he called me a softie |
1.3364 |
0.03913 |
214 |
153 |
50 |
11 |
489 |
I love my wife, I just feel like I'm indulging her. |
1.3353 |
0.04298 |
167 |
118 |
42 |
7 |
490 |
Am I crazy or is my head a goddam ice cream cone? |
1.3353 |
0.04861 |
170 |
128 |
27 |
15 |
491 |
May I lick? It's all I ever hear!! |
1.3353 |
0.04789 |
170 |
127 |
29 |
14 |
492 |
... and then the mean kids started calling me Mister Softee. |
1.3352 |
0.04262 |
179 |
128 |
42 |
9 |
493 |
Why does everyone assume I'm such a softy? |
1.3352 |
0.04495 |
182 |
134 |
35 |
13 |
494 |
And then, on top of everything, she called me Mister Softee. |
1.3351 |
0.04377 |
185 |
135 |
38 |
12 |
495 |
So my mother said "soften up," and here we are. |
1.3351 |
0.04171 |
185 |
132 |
44 |
9 |
496 |
And everyone just says, keep a cool head |
1.3351 |
0.04171 |
185 |
132 |
44 |
9 |
497 |
I still have trouble with emotion. Growing up, it was always, "Keep your cool, Harold. Don't lose your head". |
1.3351 |
0.04218 |
191 |
138 |
42 |
11 |
498 |
My wife got tired of soft serve. |
1.3351 |
0.04533 |
191 |
143 |
32 |
16 |
499 |
As a kid I tried to fight back, but I always got licked. |
1.3351 |
0.04361 |
194 |
143 |
37 |
14 |
500 |
I'm terrified of meltdowns. |
1.3350 |
0.04004 |
197 |
140 |
48 |
9 |
501 |
Well Mister Softee, sounds to me like a self-fulfilling prophecy. |
1.3350 |
0.04825 |
197 |
154 |
20 |
23 |
502 |
Just seeing it, I scream, you scream, we all scream. |
1.3350 |
0.03938 |
197 |
139 |
50 |
8 |
503 |
I love her so much, but she is lactose intolerant. |
1.3350 |
0.04433 |
197 |
147 |
34 |
16 |
504 |
It’s hard for me to warm up to anyone. |
1.3349 |
0.04208 |
212 |
157 |
39 |
16 |
505 |
Please don’t humor me… |
1.3333 |
0.04509 |
177 |
130 |
35 |
12 |
506 |
When she asked me if I was 'non-dairy', I just froze." |
1.3333 |
0.04804 |
189 |
146 |
23 |
20 |
507 |
My mama has pink sprinkles. My daddy has brown sprinkles. My brother has green sprinkles. And I have a swirl on top. I am afraid I am adopted. |
1.3333 |
0.04512 |
192 |
144 |
32 |
16 |
508 |
She says I’m too vanilla.” |
1.3333 |
0.04424 |
186 |
137 |
36 |
13 |
509 |
I always fall for the ones who are lactose intolerant |
1.3333 |
0.04643 |
201 |
155 |
25 |
21 |
510 |
I’m actually lactose intolerant. |
1.3333 |
0.04457 |
180 |
132 |
36 |
12 |
511 |
Here's the scoop. |
1.3333 |
0.04175 |
198 |
144 |
42 |
12 |
512 |
The poop emoji has ruined my life… |
1.3333 |
0.04735 |
183 |
139 |
27 |
17 |
513 |
Is brain freeze really a thing? |
1.3333 |
0.04296 |
213 |
160 |
35 |
18 |
514 |
I can't take the heat |
1.3333 |
0.04608 |
159 |
115 |
35 |
9 |
515 |
I think and then I scream |
1.3333 |
0.04113 |
198 |
143 |
44 |
11 |
516 |
Everyone thinks I'm soft! |
1.3317 |
0.03859 |
208 |
148 |
51 |
9 |
517 |
That's when my mom admitted that she'd been hoping for a cup. |
1.3317 |
0.04460 |
202 |
153 |
31 |
18 |
518 |
I'm just tired of all the screaming. |
1.3317 |
0.04096 |
199 |
144 |
44 |
11 |
519 |
It’s not going to be pretty if I have a meltdown |
1.3316 |
0.04559 |
196 |
149 |
29 |
18 |
520 |
Well, it’s not Mr. Stiffy, is it? |
1.3316 |
0.04324 |
196 |
145 |
37 |
14 |
521 |
I’ve only got about 6 minutes here,
so let me do the talking… |
1.3316 |
0.04370 |
193 |
143 |
36 |
14 |
522 |
Everyone is always screaming. Is it me?? |
1.3316 |
0.04492 |
193 |
145 |
32 |
16 |
523 |
And then I wake up and I scream ... |
1.3316 |
0.04225 |
190 |
138 |
41 |
11 |
524 |
Your drapes look like the pants my clients wear. |
1.3316 |
0.04419 |
190 |
141 |
35 |
14 |
525 |
My wife says I give her a headache. |
1.3316 |
0.04355 |
190 |
140 |
37 |
13 |
526 |
...they are words but they never sing them. They just scream, they all scream... |
1.3316 |
0.04664 |
190 |
145 |
27 |
18 |
527 |
I just feel licked. |
1.3315 |
0.04627 |
178 |
133 |
31 |
14 |
528 |
Everyone says I'm a softee. |
1.3315 |
0.03881 |
178 |
123 |
51 |
4 |
529 |
If it’s not nuts, it’s sprinkles, or dried fruit. Why can’t I be loved for who I am? |
1.3314 |
0.04683 |
175 |
131 |
30 |
14 |
530 |
She said I was a sweet guy but the sex was just too vanilla. |
1.3314 |
0.04683 |
175 |
131 |
30 |
14 |
531 |
If my dad didn't want me to turn out soft, he shouldn't have married a smoothie. |
1.3301 |
0.04296 |
209 |
157 |
35 |
17 |
532 |
I just feel like I'm having a meltdown. |
1.3300 |
0.04039 |
203 |
147 |
45 |
11 |
533 |
I say I'll change, she says I'll always be plain vanilla. |
1.3300 |
0.04433 |
200 |
151 |
32 |
17 |
534 |
My father was a real soda jerk. |
1.3300 |
0.04140 |
200 |
146 |
42 |
12 |
535 |
I’m worried about having a complete meltdown. |
1.3299 |
0.03993 |
197 |
141 |
47 |
9 |
536 |
I just don't feel delicious . |
1.3299 |
0.04305 |
197 |
146 |
37 |
14 |
537 |
They said my brains turned soft |
1.3298 |
0.03903 |
188 |
132 |
50 |
6 |
538 |
But what if cooler heads actually DON'T prevail? |
1.3298 |
0.04636 |
188 |
143 |
28 |
17 |
539 |
I never see her anymore.. I think she's on a diet |
1.3297 |
0.04366 |
185 |
136 |
37 |
12 |
540 |
I try to be assertive but everyone thinks I'm Mr. Softee. |
1.3297 |
0.04415 |
182 |
134 |
36 |
12 |
541 |
I can't get hard. |
1.3296 |
0.04672 |
179 |
135 |
29 |
15 |
542 |
Maybe I'm too soft... |
1.3295 |
0.04373 |
176 |
128 |
38 |
10 |
543 |
I'm not thin enough for yogurt. I'm not rich enough for ice cream. Where do I belong? |
1.3295 |
0.04144 |
176 |
125 |
44 |
7 |
544 |
Everyone asks about my toppings, no one asks about my feelings. |
1.3295 |
0.04446 |
176 |
129 |
36 |
11 |
545 |
I'm a tennis pro, but lately I can only make soft serves. Do you think it's all in my head, Doc? |
1.3295 |
0.04788 |
173 |
131 |
27 |
15 |
546 |
Then she licked me but I’m just not into that. |
1.3294 |
0.04703 |
170 |
127 |
30 |
13 |
547 |
No matter the therapeutic modality, I keep having meltdowns. |
1.3284 |
0.04140 |
204 |
150 |
41 |
13 |
548 |
I just keep having these melt downs. |
1.3284 |
0.04198 |
204 |
151 |
39 |
14 |
549 |
It's hard being so soft. |
1.3282 |
0.04271 |
195 |
144 |
38 |
13 |
550 |
I'm just feeling licked. |
1.3282 |
0.04081 |
195 |
141 |
44 |
10 |
551 |
Cold? Sure, but never, ever distant. |
1.3281 |
0.04317 |
192 |
142 |
37 |
13 |
552 |
Vanilla
... the word alone says it all. |
1.3281 |
0.04562 |
192 |
146 |
29 |
17 |
553 |
I identify as ice cream |
1.3280 |
0.04478 |
186 |
139 |
33 |
14 |
554 |
They keep telling me I’ve gone soft… that I’m vanilla… |
1.3279 |
0.04529 |
183 |
137 |
32 |
14 |
555 |
People say I'm cold |
1.3277 |
0.04125 |
177 |
126 |
44 |
7 |
556 |
And then she said, “you’re just too vanilla.” |
1.3276 |
0.04834 |
174 |
133 |
25 |
16 |
557 |
They call me ‘ Softie’ but I am still a man, damn it! |
1.3275 |
0.04376 |
171 |
124 |
38 |
9 |
558 |
It's like all she cared about was my brain |
1.3274 |
0.04507 |
168 |
123 |
35 |
10 |
559 |
Just once I’d like someone to call me Carl. |
1.3268 |
0.05394 |
153 |
120 |
16 |
17 |
560 |
OK Mister Softee shall we begin with the erectile dysfunction issue? |
1.3267 |
0.04395 |
202 |
153 |
32 |
17 |
561 |
My mother always told me I was a little soft in the head, but… I had no idea!! |
1.3266 |
0.04443 |
199 |
151 |
31 |
17 |
562 |
I'm telling you. 'Plain Vanilla.' It hurts. |
1.3265 |
0.04606 |
196 |
151 |
26 |
19 |
563 |
My wife ran off with a milkshake. |
1.3264 |
0.04601 |
193 |
148 |
27 |
18 |
564 |
I ask you, doctor...what did she expect? For Chrissakes, my NAME is Mr. Softee... |
1.3262 |
0.04392 |
187 |
139 |
35 |
13 |
565 |
I’m licked, Doc, just licked |
1.3260 |
0.04493 |
181 |
135 |
33 |
13 |
566 |
My life just seems so vanilla |
1.3260 |
0.04283 |
181 |
132 |
39 |
10 |
567 |
Sometimes I feel like I'm going to have a melt down. |
1.3258 |
0.04615 |
178 |
134 |
30 |
14 |
568 |
Help me, I've got brain freeze! |
1.3256 |
0.04729 |
172 |
130 |
28 |
14 |
569 |
I’m always worried about being dipped. |
1.3256 |
0.04432 |
172 |
126 |
36 |
10 |
570 |
It's been a rocky road. |
1.3252 |
0.04048 |
206 |
151 |
43 |
12 |
571 |
….and then she said I was twisted. |
1.3252 |
0.04836 |
163 |
123 |
27 |
13 |
572 |
I knew it was over when she said I was getting soft. |
1.3251 |
0.04088 |
203 |
149 |
42 |
12 |
573 |
I had the sidewalk dream again. |
1.3250 |
0.04820 |
160 |
120 |
28 |
12 |
574 |
I'm just a pushover. I mean, everyone calls me Mister Softee. |
1.3250 |
0.04536 |
200 |
154 |
27 |
19 |
575 |
I swear I saw a talking tree wearing a necktie! |
1.3250 |
0.05136 |
160 |
124 |
20 |
16 |
576 |
Give it to me straight, doc. Am I going soft? |
1.3250 |
0.04482 |
160 |
116 |
36 |
8 |
577 |
...and then she broke up with me! She said she was going dairy-free. |
1.3247 |
0.04462 |
194 |
147 |
31 |
16 |
578 |
She screamed, then I screamed. |
1.3247 |
0.04687 |
154 |
113 |
32 |
9 |
579 |
I've always kept a cool head. |
1.3246 |
0.04195 |
191 |
140 |
40 |
11 |
580 |
Constant, constant headaches." |
1.3245 |
0.04307 |
188 |
139 |
37 |
12 |
581 |
She said she's giving up sweets. |
1.3242 |
0.04472 |
182 |
136 |
33 |
13 |
582 |
When was your last meltdown? |
1.3242 |
0.04472 |
182 |
136 |
33 |
13 |
583 |
I’m thinking of getting sprinkles. |
1.3240 |
0.04311 |
179 |
131 |
38 |
10 |
584 |
Sure, mom liked me, but she loved Sundae the most. |
1.3237 |
0.04776 |
173 |
132 |
26 |
15 |
585 |
Every time I try to be intimate with my wife, she says she gets a headache. |
1.3237 |
0.03840 |
173 |
120 |
50 |
3 |
586 |
I may seem cold, unwelcoming, heartless even, but I assure you I am a softy. |
1.3235 |
0.04616 |
170 |
127 |
31 |
12 |
587 |
Doctor, I'm simply at a point in my career when a meltdown would be disastrous. |
1.3234 |
0.04172 |
201 |
149 |
39 |
13 |
588 |
Whenever I see her, it's like my brain freezes. |
1.3234 |
0.04750 |
167 |
126 |
28 |
13 |
589 |
But the sprinkles never come... . |
1.3229 |
0.04177 |
192 |
141 |
40 |
11 |
590 |
I can't shake this brain freeze. |
1.3228 |
0.04287 |
189 |
140 |
37 |
12 |
591 |
I just can’t seem to stop my thoughts from swirling. |
1.3228 |
0.04352 |
189 |
141 |
35 |
13 |
592 |
Worst part? Brain freeze. |
1.3226 |
0.04401 |
186 |
139 |
34 |
13 |
593 |
The genie was hard of hearing. I said fairy queen. |
1.3224 |
0.05164 |
152 |
117 |
21 |
14 |
594 |
Please,call me Ted. My father was Mr. Softee. |
1.3221 |
0.04881 |
149 |
111 |
28 |
10 |
595 |
I hate sprinkles |
1.3220 |
0.04484 |
177 |
132 |
33 |
12 |
596 |
Rainbow sprinkles would be amazing, but I'm not sure how my parents would feel. |
1.3220 |
0.04412 |
177 |
131 |
35 |
11 |
597 |
What's my problem? Doc, all my life I've suffered from brain freeze. |
1.3218 |
0.04682 |
174 |
132 |
28 |
14 |
598 |
Up 'til now, my life has been very vanilla." |
1.3218 |
0.04464 |
174 |
129 |
34 |
11 |
599 |
I can still hear the kids screaming. |
1.3218 |
0.04752 |
174 |
133 |
26 |
15 |
600 |
Sometimes I feel like people use me for their own pleasure |
1.3211 |
0.04397 |
190 |
143 |
33 |
14 |
601 |
I believe what we are dealing with here, is a Neapolitan Complex |
1.3210 |
0.04687 |
162 |
121 |
30 |
11 |
602 |
I need to accept that I”ll never be parfait. |
1.3200 |
0.03995 |
200 |
146 |
44 |
10 |
603 |
My wife thinks I'm cold. |
1.3200 |
0.04214 |
175 |
127 |
40 |
8 |
604 |
Do you think I'm too much of a Softee? |
1.3200 |
0.04515 |
175 |
131 |
32 |
12 |
605 |
Maybe if I'd had sprinkles... |
1.3198 |
0.04494 |
172 |
128 |
33 |
11 |
606 |
Everyone seems to think they can lick me. |
1.3198 |
0.04418 |
172 |
127 |
35 |
10 |
607 |
All my life I have found refuge in cold, dark places. |
1.3195 |
0.04549 |
169 |
126 |
32 |
11 |
608 |
I don't know, this might all just be a simple head cold. |
1.3193 |
0.04837 |
166 |
127 |
25 |
14 |
609 |
I’ve softened but it still hurts. |
1.3191 |
0.03728 |
188 |
132 |
52 |
4 |
610 |
No matter how hard I try,I always get licked. |
1.3191 |
0.04614 |
188 |
145 |
26 |
17 |
611 |
Maybe it's true. Maybe I am a big softie. |
1.3190 |
0.04900 |
163 |
125 |
24 |
14 |
612 |
They say cooler heads prevail, but this isn’t working for me |
1.3189 |
0.04063 |
185 |
134 |
43 |
8 |
613 |
I just don't think I can take another meltdown |
1.3187 |
0.04391 |
182 |
136 |
34 |
12 |
614 |
It always ends the same. The little kid drops me on the sidewalk and the dog gets me. |
1.3184 |
0.04224 |
179 |
131 |
39 |
9 |
615 |
'Mr. Softee' --my identity and the death of my dating life. |
1.3184 |
0.04580 |
179 |
136 |
29 |
14 |
616 |
I’m very nervous about global warming |
1.3184 |
0.04370 |
179 |
133 |
35 |
11 |
617 |
I had another meltdown last week. |
1.3184 |
0.04224 |
179 |
131 |
39 |
9 |
618 |
I always try to keep a cool head. |
1.3184 |
0.04279 |
201 |
152 |
34 |
15 |
619 |
Thank you for working on a sundae. |
1.3182 |
0.04671 |
154 |
114 |
31 |
9 |
620 |
I just feel like I’m spiraling |
1.3179 |
0.04058 |
195 |
143 |
42 |
10 |
621 |
I don't feel appreciated at work. Whenever I offer a suggestion, my ideas are immediately dismissed as being 'too vanilla' -- whatever that means. |
1.3179 |
0.04319 |
173 |
127 |
37 |
9 |
622 |
Sometimes I feel I have 31 personalities. |
1.3179 |
0.04620 |
173 |
131 |
29 |
13 |
623 |
I’m suing Rogaine. |
1.3179 |
0.04547 |
173 |
130 |
31 |
12 |
624 |
I’m starting to feel that my meltdown was all in my head. |
1.3179 |
0.04396 |
173 |
128 |
35 |
10 |
625 |
I'm nothing but empty calories. |
1.3179 |
0.04639 |
151 |
111 |
32 |
8 |
626 |
Nothing I do seems to make a difference. Everyone says I’m so vanilla. |
1.3176 |
0.04448 |
170 |
126 |
34 |
10 |
627 |
And the children! Oh my god, the running children. |
1.3176 |
0.04985 |
148 |
112 |
25 |
11 |
628 |
Life’s got me licked |
1.3175 |
0.04276 |
189 |
141 |
36 |
12 |
629 |
Sure,you think if I keep a cool head everything will be just fine! |
1.3174 |
0.04659 |
167 |
126 |
29 |
12 |
630 |
I have no problem getting into relationships, but they never seem to last more than ten minutes. |
1.3172 |
0.04962 |
145 |
109 |
26 |
10 |
631 |
No matter what I say or do, people always think that I’m soft in the head. |
1.3171 |
0.04474 |
164 |
121 |
34 |
9 |
632 |
I can't seem to get hard. |
1.3169 |
0.04439 |
183 |
138 |
32 |
13 |
633 |
I don’t know, doc, sometimes I just feel like I’m going soft. |
1.3169 |
0.04370 |
183 |
137 |
34 |
12 |
634 |
They keep calling me soft in the head. |
1.3169 |
0.04832 |
142 |
105 |
29 |
8 |
635 |
But I’m NOT a softie… |
1.3168 |
0.04144 |
202 |
151 |
38 |
13 |
636 |
I still have difficulty keeping my cool. |
1.3165 |
0.04315 |
158 |
114 |
38 |
6 |
637 |
I always seem to freeze up in social situations. |
1.3164 |
0.04174 |
177 |
129 |
40 |
8 |
638 |
Whenever I meet a girl I melt. |
1.3164 |
0.04174 |
177 |
129 |
40 |
8 |
639 |
I try to be a tough guy, but everyone says I'm a softee. |
1.3163 |
0.04230 |
196 |
147 |
36 |
13 |
640 |
I keep having terrible headaches. |
1.3163 |
0.04291 |
196 |
148 |
34 |
14 |
641 |
Nobody orders Dairy King. |
1.3161 |
0.04669 |
174 |
133 |
27 |
14 |
642 |
I was a popular child. |
1.3158 |
0.04348 |
171 |
126 |
36 |
9 |
643 |
I scream. You scream. We all scream for ice cream. And then I wake up. |
1.3158 |
0.04798 |
152 |
114 |
28 |
10 |
644 |
When they said you are what you eat, I didn’t think it would get this far. |
1.3158 |
0.04503 |
171 |
128 |
32 |
11 |
645 |
She said I was too vanilla. I mean... hello... |
1.3155 |
0.04498 |
187 |
143 |
29 |
15 |
646 |
I think I am just having a hard time with the end of summer meltdown. |
1.3155 |
0.04369 |
187 |
141 |
33 |
13 |
647 |
They say I'm twisted. |
1.3155 |
0.03973 |
168 |
119 |
45 |
4 |
648 |
Doctor, I feel like I'm having a meltdown. |
1.3152 |
0.04281 |
184 |
137 |
36 |
11 |
649 |
When I go outdoors I feel like I'm having a meltdown |
1.3149 |
0.04035 |
181 |
131 |
43 |
7 |
650 |
I feel like I’m on the verge of a meltdown. |
1.3146 |
0.04230 |
178 |
131 |
38 |
9 |
651 |
The cowlick is the least of my problems. |
1.3145 |
0.04648 |
159 |
119 |
30 |
10 |
652 |
My mother was very sweet -- and yet there was an underlying coldness. |
1.3143 |
0.04574 |
175 |
133 |
29 |
13 |
653 |
Don't know why but my head keeps spinning. |
1.3141 |
0.04530 |
156 |
115 |
33 |
8 |
654 |
For some reason I scream at everyone. |
1.3141 |
0.04796 |
156 |
118 |
27 |
11 |
655 |
So that’s my inside scoop. |
1.3137 |
0.04587 |
153 |
113 |
32 |
8 |
656 |
But it's like, what do I scream for? |
1.3136 |
0.04762 |
169 |
130 |
25 |
14 |
657 |
I scream when I see what I've become. |
1.3136 |
0.04534 |
169 |
127 |
31 |
11 |
658 |
From now on, no more Mr Softie! |
1.3135 |
0.04330 |
185 |
139 |
34 |
12 |
659 |
I’m having nightmares about global warming |
1.3135 |
0.04192 |
185 |
137 |
38 |
10 |
660 |
From the beginning they promised me a cherry on top. |
1.3133 |
0.04510 |
166 |
124 |
32 |
10 |
661 |
Deep inside I feel conely. |
1.3132 |
0.04447 |
182 |
138 |
31 |
13 |
662 |
What’s so wrong with being vanilla? |
1.3130 |
0.05207 |
131 |
99 |
23 |
9 |
663 |
I scream. You scream. We all scream. And that's why I can't sleep at night. |
1.3129 |
0.04904 |
147 |
111 |
26 |
10 |
664 |
I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of a melting down. |
1.3129 |
0.04808 |
147 |
110 |
28 |
9 |
665 |
I just feel stuck, like I’m frozen |
1.3129 |
0.04648 |
163 |
123 |
29 |
11 |
666 |
I feel like I have permanent brain freeze. |
1.3128 |
0.04357 |
179 |
134 |
34 |
11 |
667 |
It's hard to get dates when your name is Mister Softee. |
1.3128 |
0.04770 |
179 |
140 |
22 |
17 |
668 |
Doc, I think I’m too much of a softie. |
1.3128 |
0.04174 |
195 |
146 |
37 |
12 |
669 |
Sometimes I wish it would all just melt away. |
1.3125 |
0.04480 |
176 |
133 |
31 |
12 |
670 |
I just want people to lick me. |
1.3121 |
0.04458 |
173 |
130 |
32 |
11 |
671 |
I don't know doc, the thoughts in my head are just so cold and twisted. |
1.3121 |
0.04683 |
157 |
118 |
29 |
10 |
672 |
People think I'm Mr Softee but inside I feel like Rocky Road |
1.3118 |
0.04310 |
186 |
140 |
34 |
12 |
673 |
People are out to get me. |
1.3118 |
0.04354 |
170 |
126 |
35 |
9 |
674 |
I’m so tired of telling people, “Hey! My eyes are down here!” |
1.3118 |
0.04434 |
170 |
127 |
33 |
10 |
675 |
I just can't handle all the screaming for me. |
1.3118 |
0.04354 |
170 |
126 |
35 |
9 |
676 |
I’m really trying to lick this thing. |
1.3117 |
0.04562 |
154 |
114 |
32 |
8 |
677 |
She wanted to try new things in the bedroom. I said, "I can't help it if I'm vanilla." |
1.3113 |
0.04989 |
151 |
116 |
23 |
12 |
678 |
We’ll start licking, then she always gets a headache. |
1.3111 |
0.04477 |
180 |
137 |
30 |
13 |
679 |
All of a sudden, she's lactose-intolerant.” |
1.3111 |
0.04477 |
180 |
137 |
30 |
13 |
680 |
I just feel like I'm getting soft. |
1.3110 |
0.04542 |
164 |
123 |
31 |
10 |
681 |
I can't control my meltdowns most summer days. |
1.3110 |
0.04459 |
164 |
122 |
33 |
9 |
682 |
She said she prefers chocolate. |
1.3110 |
0.04459 |
164 |
122 |
33 |
9 |
683 |
My mother? I loved my mother! She was a dairy queen! |
1.3109 |
0.04627 |
193 |
152 |
22 |
19 |
684 |
I just feel like I’ve been licked. |
1.3107 |
0.04160 |
177 |
130 |
39 |
8 |
685 |
I think I'm self-intolerant. |
1.3106 |
0.04247 |
161 |
117 |
38 |
6 |
686 |
I know they say cooler heads prevail, but sometimes I just have a meltdown. |
1.3106 |
0.04764 |
161 |
123 |
26 |
12 |
687 |
I’m dipping into despair… there’s not a sprinkle of hope. |
1.3103 |
0.04361 |
174 |
130 |
34 |
10 |
688 |
Sometimes I worry that I’m just a big softee |
1.3103 |
0.04284 |
174 |
129 |
36 |
9 |
689 |
I'm transitioning to Dairy King |
1.3101 |
0.04481 |
158 |
117 |
33 |
8 |
690 |
Doc, you gotta help me..kids follow me wherever I go |
1.3099 |
0.04713 |
171 |
132 |
25 |
14 |
691 |
Every woman I've dated says I'm cold. |
1.3099 |
0.04489 |
171 |
129 |
31 |
11 |
692 |
I feel like you're twisting everything I say. |
1.3099 |
0.04707 |
142 |
105 |
30 |
7 |
693 |
My mother? She was the Dairy Queen, and I loved her. |
1.3098 |
0.04405 |
184 |
140 |
31 |
13 |
694 |
I can’t sleep. I’m obsessed with climate change. |
1.3097 |
0.04806 |
155 |
118 |
26 |
11 |
695 |
And then I walked in on her spooning the gelato. |
1.3097 |
0.04628 |
155 |
116 |
30 |
9 |
696 |
She sees someone else for a proper meal and only comes to me for dessert. |
1.3097 |
0.04806 |
155 |
118 |
26 |
11 |
697 |
She told me I was too soft. |
1.3095 |
0.04218 |
168 |
123 |
38 |
7 |
698 |
Sprinkles! You had to bring up sprinkles. |
1.3094 |
0.04455 |
181 |
138 |
30 |
13 |
699 |
I was flavor of the month and then nothing... |
1.3091 |
0.04757 |
165 |
127 |
25 |
13 |
700 |
Doctor, my head is swirling |
1.3090 |
0.04364 |
178 |
134 |
33 |
11 |
701 |
‘Mister’ does help, but ‘Softee’ is so emasculating. |
1.3090 |
0.04436 |
178 |
135 |
31 |
12 |
702 |
I dreamt my Mother was a cow. |
1.3089 |
0.03741 |
191 |
137 |
49 |
5 |
703 |
I’ve even tried rainbow sprinkles to bring back some zest into my vanilla life |
1.3087 |
0.04140 |
149 |
106 |
40 |
3 |
704 |
This anxiety always kicks in as we approach Summer. |
1.3086 |
0.04403 |
162 |
120 |
34 |
8 |
705 |
My wife left me for a Nutty Buddy! |
1.3081 |
0.04466 |
172 |
130 |
31 |
11 |
706 |
Sure, I'm cold...but I'm not cool! |
1.3077 |
0.04512 |
156 |
116 |
32 |
8 |
707 |
Heavy hangs the head that wears the cone! |
1.3077 |
0.04748 |
169 |
131 |
24 |
14 |
708 |
I have frequent meltdowns. |
1.3077 |
0.04162 |
195 |
147 |
36 |
12 |
709 |
I'm tired of being called Mr. Softee. |
1.3068 |
0.04165 |
176 |
130 |
38 |
8 |
710 |
Of Course my kids love it |
1.3067 |
0.04293 |
163 |
120 |
36 |
7 |
711 |
My wife says I’m a softy. |
1.3067 |
0.04632 |
163 |
124 |
28 |
11 |
712 |
Maybe it’s all in my head, but everyone just seems lactose intolerant these days. |
1.3067 |
0.04632 |
163 |
124 |
28 |
11 |
713 |
Sometimes it’s hard being soft |
1.3065 |
0.04040 |
199 |
149 |
39 |
11 |
714 |
31 flavors, and I still couldn’t satisfy. |
1.3064 |
0.04048 |
173 |
126 |
41 |
6 |
715 |
No one screams for ice cream any more. When did being soft serve get so hard? |
1.3062 |
0.04433 |
160 |
119 |
33 |
8 |
716 |
It’s a horrifying recurring dream, Doc..
I scream, then you scream, we ALL
scream… |
1.3062 |
0.04691 |
160 |
122 |
27 |
11 |
717 |
The screaming’s a bit much. |
1.3062 |
0.04343 |
160 |
118 |
35 |
7 |
718 |
Sometimes, it feels like my mind is just melting away. |
1.3060 |
0.04547 |
183 |
142 |
26 |
15 |
719 |
Everyone says,"yeah, I've had brain-freeze," but they just don't get it. |
1.3059 |
0.04573 |
170 |
130 |
28 |
12 |
720 |
The brain freeze is one thing, but the constant licking from complete strangers is just too much at this point. |
1.3057 |
0.04922 |
157 |
122 |
22 |
13 |
721 |
Viagra didn't work, either. |
1.3056 |
0.04394 |
180 |
137 |
31 |
12 |
722 |
This motherfucker. |
1.3054 |
0.04783 |
167 |
130 |
23 |
14 |
723 |
Honestly, there are days when all I can think about are sprinkles. |
1.3054 |
0.04630 |
167 |
128 |
27 |
12 |
724 |
I wish people would stop assuming I'm vanilla based on how I look! |
1.3054 |
0.04222 |
167 |
123 |
37 |
7 |
725 |
She left me for Mr. Hardie |
1.3054 |
0.04222 |
167 |
123 |
37 |
7 |
726 |
Whenever I think of it, I scream. |
1.3052 |
0.04450 |
154 |
114 |
33 |
7 |
727 |
I feel like I'm about to have a meltdown. |
1.3052 |
0.04637 |
154 |
116 |
29 |
9 |
728 |
Everyone treats me as if I'm just plain-vanilla. |
1.3052 |
0.04727 |
154 |
117 |
27 |
10 |
729 |
Damn kids won’t leave me alone |
1.3052 |
0.04637 |
154 |
116 |
29 |
9 |
730 |
Since Labor Day. |
1.3051 |
0.04516 |
177 |
136 |
28 |
13 |
731 |
I'm always scared I'm having a meltdown. |
1.3051 |
0.04371 |
177 |
134 |
32 |
11 |
732 |
Egghead I could deal with ... but this?! |
1.3050 |
0.05027 |
141 |
108 |
23 |
10 |
733 |
Nobody ever screams for me." |
1.3046 |
0.04972 |
151 |
117 |
22 |
12 |
734 |
Thanks for keeping it cool in here. |
1.3046 |
0.04110 |
174 |
128 |
39 |
7 |
735 |
I think people like me only because I'm such a softie |
1.3046 |
0.04190 |
174 |
129 |
37 |
8 |
736 |
People constantly mistake me for Matt Gaetz. |
1.3043 |
0.04830 |
161 |
125 |
23 |
13 |
737 |
Seagulls. Because you never see them coming. |
1.3043 |
0.04410 |
161 |
120 |
33 |
8 |
738 |
Sometimes I feel I'm just a people pleaser. |
1.3043 |
0.04184 |
184 |
138 |
36 |
10 |
739 |
She only wants to lick me. |
1.3043 |
0.04410 |
161 |
120 |
33 |
8 |
740 |
At first I thought I was just coming down with a head cold. |
1.3041 |
0.04474 |
171 |
130 |
30 |
11 |
741 |
I don't know. I keep getting these severe headaches out of the blue. |
1.3041 |
0.04396 |
171 |
129 |
32 |
10 |
742 |
Everybody likes me, but I’m not good for them. |
1.3041 |
0.04550 |
171 |
131 |
28 |
12 |
743 |
So, Mr. Softee just doesn't work on the dating sites. |
1.3036 |
0.04528 |
168 |
128 |
29 |
11 |
744 |
Everyone says vanilla like it’s a bad thing. |
1.3036 |
0.04528 |
168 |
128 |
29 |
11 |
745 |
I keep having this dream that I want to dip my head in chocolate. |
1.3034 |
0.04827 |
145 |
110 |
26 |
9 |
746 |
My relationships have never lasted long. |
1.3034 |
0.04422 |
178 |
136 |
30 |
12 |
747 |
My mother? She was twisted and cold. |
1.3034 |
0.04633 |
178 |
139 |
24 |
15 |
748 |
True!!! She's such a Dairy Queen !!! |
1.3034 |
0.04494 |
178 |
137 |
28 |
13 |
749 |
This brain freeze thing is driving me crazy! |
1.3034 |
0.04276 |
178 |
134 |
34 |
10 |
750 |
It makes me feel like I’m living with constant brain freeze. |
1.3030 |
0.04335 |
165 |
123 |
34 |
8 |
751 |
My wife is frigid. |
1.3029 |
0.04325 |
175 |
132 |
33 |
10 |
752 |
...and people think it's OK to just lick my head! |
1.3027 |
0.04371 |
185 |
142 |
30 |
13 |
753 |
Sure, Conehead and Dairy Queen hurt. But, they called me Milli Vanilli. |
1.3027 |
0.04504 |
185 |
144 |
26 |
15 |
754 |
Tongues. Everywhere I go, all I see is tongues. |
1.3025 |
0.04883 |
162 |
127 |
21 |
14 |
755 |
I feel like a pushover -- always Mr. Softie. |
1.3023 |
0.04602 |
172 |
133 |
26 |
13 |
756 |
I know it’s all in my head.
But I feel that my whole life is like ….
vanilla. |
1.3022 |
0.04281 |
182 |
138 |
33 |
11 |
757 |
Sometimes it feels like the whole world is lactose intolerant. |
1.3020 |
0.04637 |
149 |
112 |
29 |
8 |
758 |
Every Spring I feel like I’m headed for a melt-down! |
1.3019 |
0.04701 |
159 |
122 |
26 |
11 |
759 |
Doc, my wife's frigid! |
1.3019 |
0.04615 |
159 |
121 |
28 |
10 |
760 |
Global warming really has me worried... |
1.3018 |
0.04426 |
169 |
128 |
31 |
10 |
761 |
It’s like a brain freeze, only worse. |
1.3018 |
0.04658 |
169 |
131 |
25 |
13 |
762 |
. . . but all along I knew, inside me, that I was really a Dairy King! |
1.3017 |
0.04677 |
179 |
141 |
22 |
16 |
763 |
It’s the kids… They’re eating me alive. |
1.3015 |
0.05455 |
136 |
108 |
15 |
13 |
764 |
I feel like such a loser. I get licked no matter what I do. |
1.3013 |
0.04585 |
156 |
118 |
29 |
9 |
765 |
I just feel I’m licked |
1.3013 |
0.04585 |
156 |
118 |
29 |
9 |
766 |
Everywhere I go, I get a frosty reception. |
1.3012 |
0.04051 |
166 |
121 |
40 |
5 |
767 |
He screams, she screams, they ALL scream at me! |
1.3012 |
0.04717 |
166 |
129 |
24 |
13 |
768 |
What does she expect? They call it soft serve for a reason! |
1.3011 |
0.04303 |
176 |
133 |
33 |
10 |
769 |
My friends call me 'scoop' " |
1.3007 |
0.04552 |
143 |
106 |
31 |
6 |
770 |
Ever had a brain freeze, doc? |
1.3006 |
0.04363 |
163 |
122 |
33 |
8 |
771 |
Sometimes I just feel completely licked. |
1.3006 |
0.04504 |
173 |
133 |
28 |
12 |
772 |
The worst part is the constant brain freeze. |
1.3005 |
0.04302 |
193 |
149 |
30 |
14 |
773 |
You try going through high school with a name like Mister Softee |
1.3000 |
0.04504 |
160 |
121 |
30 |
9 |
774 |
A lot of people say I come off as cold . . . |
1.3000 |
0.04590 |
160 |
122 |
28 |
10 |
775 |
Do you think it's the dairy? |
1.3000 |
0.04612 |
140 |
104 |
30 |
6 |
776 |
Is long brain freeze in the DSM? |
1.3000 |
0.04610 |
150 |
113 |
29 |
8 |
777 |
I CANT LICK IT |
1.3000 |
0.05139 |
140 |
109 |
20 |
11 |
778 |
And then there are the headaches. |
1.2994 |
0.04455 |
167 |
127 |
30 |
10 |
779 |
I really just can’t take my licks. |
1.2994 |
0.04470 |
157 |
118 |
31 |
8 |
780 |
I swear it's brain freeze Doc |
1.2988 |
0.04672 |
164 |
127 |
25 |
12 |
781 |
I have a constant head cold. |
1.2987 |
0.04526 |
154 |
116 |
30 |
8 |
782 |
Mr. Softee." "Mr. Softee." I was in Nam for Chrissakes |
1.2987 |
0.04710 |
154 |
118 |
26 |
10 |
783 |
I don’t think you understand meltdowns like I do” |
1.2987 |
0.04619 |
154 |
117 |
28 |
9 |
784 |
Some days, I want to top myself. |
1.2987 |
0.04235 |
154 |
113 |
36 |
5 |
785 |
Yes I'm popular, but I know I'm fake. |
1.2986 |
0.04525 |
144 |
107 |
31 |
6 |
786 |
I know when I'm licked. |
1.2981 |
0.04479 |
161 |
122 |
30 |
9 |
787 |
Let’s just say that the name doesn’t exactly help with the ladies, if you know what I mean. |
1.2980 |
0.04584 |
151 |
114 |
29 |
8 |
788 |
I never carry enough napkins... |
1.2979 |
0.04800 |
141 |
107 |
26 |
8 |
789 |
Women aren’t interested, they say I’m vanilla. |
1.2975 |
0.04710 |
158 |
122 |
25 |
11 |
790 |
I have this recurring nightmare about shopping for a hat. |
1.2975 |
0.04794 |
158 |
123 |
23 |
12 |
791 |
I'm trying to not be such a softie, but it's just who I am. |
1.2973 |
0.04544 |
148 |
111 |
30 |
7 |
792 |
Why do they all scream at me? |
1.2973 |
0.04838 |
148 |
114 |
24 |
10 |
793 |
Well I’ll eat my hat. |
1.2973 |
0.04337 |
148 |
109 |
34 |
5 |
794 |
She told me she can't love a man without sprinkles. |
1.2973 |
0.04644 |
148 |
112 |
28 |
8 |
795 |
When I saw her, I just froze. |
1.2973 |
0.04644 |
148 |
112 |
28 |
8 |
796 |
I have so many questions swirling in my head! |
1.2970 |
0.04567 |
165 |
127 |
27 |
11 |
797 |
It’s your perspective that could change, they’re screaming for you, not at you. |
1.2970 |
0.04486 |
165 |
126 |
29 |
10 |
798 |
Women say I make them fat, Doc. |
1.2968 |
0.04859 |
155 |
121 |
22 |
12 |
799 |
Eyes open or closed, I’m haunted by an incessant, insistent, melody. |
1.2966 |
0.04603 |
145 |
109 |
29 |
7 |
800 |
I feel like I'm licked and I'm about to melt down. |
1.2966 |
0.04498 |
145 |
108 |
31 |
6 |
801 |
I can't get the jingle out of my head. |
1.2963 |
0.04369 |
162 |
122 |
32 |
8 |
802 |
You can't imagine how embarrassing it is to be the Dairy Queen's consort. |
1.2963 |
0.05159 |
135 |
105 |
20 |
10 |
803 |
Why is it that no matter what I do I get licked. |
1.2963 |
0.04624 |
162 |
125 |
26 |
11 |
804 |
They lied, cooler heads do not prevail. |
1.2961 |
0.04461 |
152 |
114 |
31 |
7 |
805 |
My father was the Good Humor man. |
1.2961 |
0.05099 |
152 |
121 |
17 |
14 |
806 |
It's like I have a brain freeze. |
1.2961 |
0.04461 |
152 |
114 |
31 |
7 |
807 |
I would really like to work through my anxiety. Whenever I’m in social settings, I just freeze. |
1.2959 |
0.04489 |
169 |
130 |
28 |
11 |
808 |
Well… Word got out, and now everybody keeps calling me Mister Softee. |
1.2959 |
0.04078 |
169 |
125 |
38 |
6 |
809 |
Yea, I had a severe meltdown the other day. It was a sticky situation. |
1.2958 |
0.04875 |
142 |
109 |
24 |
9 |
810 |
Doctor I can’t explain it, but I feel like I always have brain freeze. |
1.2956 |
0.04851 |
159 |
125 |
21 |
13 |
811 |
Am I too soft, doctor? |
1.2956 |
0.04330 |
159 |
119 |
33 |
7 |
812 |
I also never last very long. |
1.2956 |
0.04598 |
159 |
122 |
27 |
10 |
813 |
Am I afraid of intimacy? People are licking me. |
1.2956 |
0.04598 |
159 |
122 |
27 |
10 |
814 |
First things first, can you turn the AC way down? |
1.2955 |
0.04288 |
176 |
134 |
32 |
10 |
815 |
People keep telling me I'm soft in the head. |
1.2953 |
0.04518 |
149 |
112 |
30 |
7 |
816 |
I’m feeling licked. |
1.2953 |
0.04714 |
149 |
114 |
26 |
9 |
817 |
My wife says I’m cold but I’m really a big softie. |
1.2953 |
0.04416 |
149 |
111 |
32 |
6 |
818 |
It’s like I’m melting |
1.2953 |
0.04617 |
149 |
113 |
28 |
8 |
819 |
I guess I should be grateful. I made it through the summer without a meltdown |
1.2953 |
0.04518 |
149 |
112 |
30 |
7 |
820 |
and then she wanted to dip me in warm chocolate” |
1.2953 |
0.04312 |
149 |
110 |
34 |
5 |
821 |
From now on, I want you to call me Loretta. |
1.2952 |
0.04032 |
166 |
122 |
39 |
5 |
822 |
I'm finding it hard to keep a cool head these days doc. |
1.2949 |
0.04745 |
156 |
121 |
24 |
11 |
823 |
Mother could be downright frosty at times. |
1.2945 |
0.04778 |
146 |
112 |
25 |
9 |
824 |
The problem is--I think I've gone soft. |
1.2945 |
0.04576 |
146 |
110 |
29 |
7 |
825 |
My wife called me a dip. |
1.2945 |
0.04472 |
146 |
109 |
31 |
6 |
826 |
It’s been a rocky road, doc. A rocky road. |
1.2945 |
0.04576 |
146 |
110 |
29 |
7 |
827 |
I have this fear of being licked. |
1.2945 |
0.04517 |
163 |
125 |
28 |
10 |
828 |
Yes, the sex is rather vanilla. |
1.2941 |
0.04238 |
153 |
113 |
35 |
5 |
829 |
Everyone knows I'm a big softie. |
1.2941 |
0.04626 |
153 |
117 |
27 |
9 |
830 |
I dunno Doc, sometimes I feel like I just can’t lick this thing |
1.2941 |
0.04338 |
153 |
114 |
33 |
6 |
831 |
I love her too, but why will she only see me on her cheat days? |
1.2941 |
0.05018 |
136 |
105 |
22 |
9 |
832 |
I start a sentence, then... |
1.2938 |
0.04114 |
177 |
133 |
36 |
8 |
833 |
I scream a lot! |
1.2937 |
0.04486 |
160 |
122 |
29 |
9 |
834 |
I want to date someone who's really hot! But for some reason I feel threatened. |
1.2937 |
0.04741 |
160 |
125 |
23 |
12 |
835 |
Doc, do you think I am suffering from an Edible Complex |
1.2937 |
0.04658 |
160 |
124 |
25 |
11 |
836 |
My parents weren't planning to have any.. I was an unexpected twist. |
1.2937 |
0.04215 |
160 |
119 |
35 |
6 |
837 |
As a reporter I naturally told the genie that I wanted a scoop. |
1.2937 |
0.04845 |
143 |
110 |
24 |
9 |
838 |
I was bullied as a child, but I learned to take a licking. |
1.2937 |
0.04742 |
143 |
109 |
26 |
8 |
839 |
I feel the weight of the whirled on my shoulders |
1.2937 |
0.04845 |
143 |
110 |
24 |
9 |
840 |
My mother was distant, and my father was so… cold. |
1.2937 |
0.04420 |
143 |
106 |
32 |
5 |
841 |
Can you help me lick this?! |
1.2934 |
0.04357 |
167 |
127 |
31 |
9 |
842 |
I am so embarrassed, but I can’t get hard anymore! |
1.2933 |
0.04492 |
150 |
113 |
30 |
7 |
843 |
I had to admit to her I'm nonbinary not non dairy. |
1.2933 |
0.04590 |
150 |
114 |
28 |
8 |
844 |
And then suddenly...my brain just freezes! |
1.2931 |
0.04391 |
174 |
134 |
29 |
11 |
845 |
Can you believe it? My tennis coach told me I have a soft serve! |
1.2930 |
0.04451 |
157 |
119 |
30 |
8 |
846 |
And then they started calling me a Dairy Queen!! |
1.2930 |
0.04451 |
157 |
119 |
30 |
8 |
847 |
I just can't stop hearing it doc... the music's always there... |
1.2930 |
0.04542 |
157 |
120 |
28 |
9 |
848 |
I mean, what even IS a conehead? |
1.2930 |
0.04888 |
157 |
124 |
20 |
13 |
849 |
Sorry about the meltdown last time. |
1.2929 |
0.04914 |
140 |
108 |
23 |
9 |
850 |
Yes, it's true, I am a Dairy Queen. |
1.2929 |
0.05018 |
140 |
109 |
21 |
10 |
851 |
Let’s keep this session short before I have a meltdown. |
1.2929 |
0.04700 |
140 |
106 |
27 |
7 |
852 |
I feel like I'm being followed. |
1.2927 |
0.05128 |
123 |
94 |
22 |
7 |
853 |
I feel dispensable. |
1.2927 |
0.04814 |
164 |
130 |
20 |
14 |
854 |
I want to tell you all my problems but first, can you turn up your air conditioning |
1.2927 |
0.04408 |
164 |
125 |
30 |
9 |
855 |
I'm afraid you have a rare entity called Breyer's remorse. |
1.2925 |
0.04942 |
147 |
115 |
21 |
11 |
856 |
Mother never hid the fact that she'd have preferred a sugar cone. |
1.2925 |
0.05127 |
147 |
117 |
17 |
13 |
857 |
And my wife has been giving me the warm shoulder lately too. |
1.2925 |
0.04340 |
147 |
109 |
33 |
5 |
858 |
My mother wouldn’t let me have sprinkles when I was a child. |
1.2924 |
0.04669 |
171 |
135 |
22 |
14 |
859 |
I’m not a softie! |
1.2923 |
0.04938 |
130 |
99 |
24 |
7 |
860 |
I feel like more and more people are becoming intolerant of me. |
1.2922 |
0.04600 |
154 |
118 |
27 |
9 |
861 |
Every time she kisses me she claims to get a headache. |
1.2920 |
0.04986 |
137 |
106 |
22 |
9 |
862 |
Doc, you've gotta help me lick this thing. |
1.2920 |
0.04877 |
137 |
105 |
24 |
8 |
863 |
They say I'm soft in the head. |
1.2919 |
0.04462 |
161 |
123 |
29 |
9 |
864 |
Sometimes I just feel like all the good things are melting away". |
1.2917 |
0.04251 |
168 |
127 |
33 |
8 |
865 |
I was just a summer fling. |
1.2914 |
0.04294 |
175 |
134 |
31 |
10 |
866 |
And then she said I was frigid. |
1.2914 |
0.04466 |
151 |
114 |
30 |
7 |
867 |
I feel licked, doc. |
1.2911 |
0.04427 |
158 |
120 |
30 |
8 |
868 |
Nobody loves me! Everyone prefers chocolate! |
1.2911 |
0.04605 |
158 |
122 |
26 |
10 |
869 |
Just trying to make it to Sundae, doc. |
1.2910 |
0.05061 |
134 |
104 |
21 |
9 |
870 |
I'm not even real vanilla. |
1.2909 |
0.04213 |
165 |
124 |
34 |
7 |
871 |
So how long can a brain freeze last? |
1.2909 |
0.04469 |
165 |
127 |
28 |
10 |
872 |
Doc, the problem is everyone thinks I'm a softee. |
1.2909 |
0.04710 |
165 |
130 |
22 |
13 |
873 |
People keep asking if I'm related to the Coneheads. |
1.2908 |
0.04449 |
141 |
105 |
31 |
5 |
874 |
….and don’t even get me started about the brain freeze…. |
1.2905 |
0.05186 |
148 |
119 |
15 |
14 |
875 |
I think it’s vanilla guilt. |
1.2905 |
0.04096 |
148 |
108 |
37 |
3 |
876 |
I had the nightmare about the hair dryer again. |
1.2903 |
0.05092 |
124 |
95 |
22 |
7 |
877 |
I don't understand it doctor, people take me for a softie. |
1.2903 |
0.04256 |
186 |
144 |
30 |
12 |
878 |
People find me cold, but I'm really a softy. |
1.2903 |
0.04290 |
155 |
116 |
33 |
6 |
879 |
Doc, I feel I’m on the verge of a meltdown. |
1.2903 |
0.04841 |
155 |
122 |
21 |
12 |
880 |
My mother was always so cold… |
1.2903 |
0.04481 |
155 |
118 |
29 |
8 |
881 |
Life seems so vanilla. |
1.2901 |
0.04350 |
162 |
123 |
31 |
8 |
882 |
The horrible dream I had was that my barber used the blow dryer! |
1.2901 |
0.04523 |
162 |
125 |
27 |
10 |
883 |
No I can't help brain freeze |
1.2901 |
0.04438 |
162 |
124 |
29 |
9 |
884 |
It all started when I realized that, everyone screaming, was because of me. |
1.2901 |
0.04261 |
162 |
122 |
33 |
7 |
885 |
My mother? She was a dairy queen. |
1.2901 |
0.04771 |
162 |
128 |
21 |
13 |
886 |
Well, I've been having these headaches... |
1.2899 |
0.04312 |
169 |
129 |
31 |
9 |
887 |
If enough people tell you you're cool-headed, you begin to believe it. |
1.2899 |
0.04230 |
169 |
128 |
33 |
8 |
888 |
Same time next Sundae? |
1.2899 |
0.05060 |
138 |
108 |
20 |
10 |
889 |
My attacks start with a tune that keeps repeating over and over and over and over, until finally, I get a brain freeze. |
1.2897 |
0.04685 |
145 |
111 |
26 |
8 |
890 |
You know, sometimes I just wish my problems would melt away |
1.2897 |
0.04786 |
145 |
112 |
24 |
9 |
891 |
Sorry I creamed on your couch. |
1.2897 |
0.04476 |
145 |
109 |
30 |
6 |
892 |
My partner asked me last week if I came in any other flavors. |
1.2897 |
0.04885 |
145 |
113 |
22 |
10 |
893 |
Why do you keep asking "what's eating you?" |
1.2896 |
0.04440 |
183 |
144 |
25 |
14 |
894 |
and then we all screamed! |
1.2895 |
0.04726 |
152 |
118 |
24 |
10 |
895 |
Can you help me? I’m about to have another meltdown. |
1.2893 |
0.04492 |
159 |
122 |
28 |
9 |
896 |
I just can’t get past this nagging notion that I’m perceived as such a drip! |
1.2893 |
0.04403 |
159 |
121 |
30 |
8 |
897 |
I can’t shake this head cold either. |
1.2893 |
0.04403 |
159 |
121 |
30 |
8 |
898 |
I think your carpet is staring at me |
1.2891 |
0.04979 |
128 |
98 |
23 |
7 |
899 |
Women treat me like the flavor of the month. |
1.2887 |
0.04534 |
142 |
107 |
29 |
6 |
900 |
Just once I would like to be called "Mr. Tough Guy" |
1.2886 |
0.04883 |
149 |
117 |
21 |
11 |
901 |
Some days I just don't feel that enthusiastic about sprinkles. |
1.2886 |
0.04694 |
149 |
115 |
25 |
9 |
902 |
When I see her I just melt. Sigh. |
1.2886 |
0.04395 |
149 |
112 |
31 |
6 |
903 |
Sometimes I just freeze up. |
1.2886 |
0.04395 |
149 |
112 |
31 |
6 |
904 |
I can still remember him licking me |
1.2885 |
0.04638 |
156 |
121 |
25 |
10 |
905 |
The wife and kids think I'm an old softie. |
1.2885 |
0.04727 |
156 |
122 |
23 |
11 |
906 |
I gotta tell you, if you don't lower the temperature in here, we'll both be sorry! |
1.2883 |
0.04499 |
163 |
126 |
27 |
10 |
907 |
Why do I always melt under pressure? |
1.2882 |
0.04290 |
170 |
130 |
31 |
9 |
908 |
Everything just swirls in my head, doctor. |
1.2882 |
0.04290 |
170 |
130 |
31 |
9 |
909 |
You have any idea what it's like to go into a pharmacy to pick up Viagra and tell them my name is Mr. Softee? Then I come over here for, I guess, advice from a guy who thought it was a good idea to buy an area rug that looks like a fried egg. |
1.2878 |
0.05330 |
139 |
112 |
14 |
13 |
910 |
Why do I feel like a queen? |
1.2878 |
0.04706 |
139 |
106 |
26 |
7 |
911 |
I’m trying to be more chill. |
1.2878 |
0.04816 |
139 |
107 |
24 |
8 |
912 |
Brain freeze really is an occupational hazard |
1.2877 |
0.04657 |
146 |
112 |
26 |
8 |
913 |
Usually, people come to me when they’re depressed. |
1.2877 |
0.04856 |
146 |
114 |
22 |
10 |
914 |
Then, she said, "I need excitement! You're just too plain vanilla." |
1.2876 |
0.04512 |
153 |
117 |
28 |
8 |
915 |
I’m having another meltdown. |
1.2876 |
0.04512 |
153 |
117 |
28 |
8 |
916 |
So, how long have you had this “brain freeze” |
1.2875 |
0.04468 |
160 |
123 |
28 |
9 |
917 |
My entire life has been vanilla |
1.2875 |
0.04003 |
160 |
118 |
38 |
4 |
918 |
It’s like I have a perpetual brain freeze |
1.2875 |
0.04195 |
160 |
120 |
34 |
6 |
919 |
Is it hot in here? |
1.2869 |
0.05004 |
122 |
93 |
23 |
6 |
920 |
My wife said I have a twisted mind. " |
1.2868 |
0.04772 |
136 |
104 |
25 |
7 |
921 |
The music-- it NEVER stops. |
1.2867 |
0.04615 |
143 |
109 |
27 |
7 |
922 |
This music keeps playing in my head |
1.2867 |
0.04762 |
150 |
117 |
23 |
10 |
923 |
I cannot remember a time when I didn't have this irrational fear of tongues. |
1.2867 |
0.04855 |
150 |
118 |
21 |
11 |
924 |
Honestly, I thought that the doctor was going to do a hair transplant. I just told him that I wanted to look cool. |
1.2867 |
0.04667 |
150 |
116 |
25 |
9 |
925 |
I just feel I'm predisposed to meltdowns. |
1.2867 |
0.04762 |
150 |
117 |
23 |
10 |
926 |
I tried hobbies--tennis, but my serve was too soft. |
1.2867 |
0.05036 |
150 |
120 |
17 |
13 |
927 |
Doc, in five minutes, your couch will be a mess. Let's skip the mommy issues and fast forward to my vanilla personality. |
1.2867 |
0.04855 |
150 |
118 |
21 |
11 |
928 |
Soft Serve is a strength |
1.2867 |
0.04471 |
150 |
114 |
29 |
7 |
929 |
It's like I've got permanent brain-freeze |
1.2866 |
0.04612 |
157 |
122 |
25 |
10 |
930 |
I am tired of everyone assuming I am a softie. |
1.2866 |
0.04612 |
157 |
122 |
25 |
10 |
931 |
And then she said our sex life was... vanilla! |
1.2866 |
0.04871 |
157 |
125 |
19 |
13 |
932 |
It's not easy to be a softie... |
1.2857 |
0.04452 |
140 |
105 |
30 |
5 |
933 |
I’m in a love-hate relationship with sunmer! |
1.2857 |
0.04193 |
154 |
115 |
34 |
5 |
934 |
My wife has become lactose intolerant towards me and I'm barely allowed near the grandkids because of my refined sugars. How do I change and still be me? |
1.2857 |
0.04345 |
133 |
98 |
32 |
3 |
935 |
I’m always taking a licking. |
1.2857 |
0.04530 |
161 |
125 |
26 |
10 |
936 |
My parents were very cold. |
1.2857 |
0.04530 |
161 |
125 |
26 |
10 |
937 |
My mother raised a softee. |
1.2857 |
0.04317 |
147 |
110 |
32 |
5 |
938 |
Your problem isn’t your backhand. It’s your soft serve. |
1.2857 |
0.04996 |
140 |
110 |
20 |
10 |
939 |
My thoughts are always swirling around and around. |
1.2857 |
0.04528 |
147 |
112 |
28 |
7 |
940 |
There’s bravery in being soft. |
1.2857 |
0.03986 |
154 |
113 |
38 |
3 |
941 |
... and then my wife said it's not enough... she needs sprinkles. |
1.2848 |
0.04614 |
165 |
130 |
23 |
12 |
942 |
Now she's saying sprinkles would make me look more interesting and edgy. |
1.2848 |
0.04587 |
158 |
123 |
25 |
10 |
943 |
I don't know where to start... I've just got so many thoughts swirling in my head! |
1.2848 |
0.04345 |
151 |
114 |
31 |
6 |
944 |
Everytime I have to face myself in the mirror, Ice cream |
1.2848 |
0.04734 |
151 |
118 |
23 |
10 |
945 |
I feel like I'm going soft in the head. |
1.2847 |
0.04794 |
144 |
112 |
23 |
9 |
946 |
You never get over a swirly. |
1.2847 |
0.04993 |
144 |
114 |
19 |
11 |
947 |
People marvel at how I can keep a cool head in every situation |
1.2847 |
0.04894 |
144 |
113 |
21 |
10 |
948 |
I can't even manage to be real ice cream |
1.2846 |
0.04534 |
130 |
97 |
29 |
4 |
949 |
Thanks for closing the curtains. |
1.2846 |
0.05032 |
130 |
101 |
21 |
8 |
950 |
In the summer, I’m Mr. Frosty. But who is Mr. Frosty in the fall? |
1.2846 |
0.04912 |
130 |
100 |
23 |
7 |
951 |
I feel whipped. |
1.2846 |
0.04692 |
123 |
92 |
27 |
4 |
952 |
All these thoughts keep swirling around my head |
1.2846 |
0.04968 |
123 |
94 |
23 |
6 |
953 |
Sprinkles? Don't get me started. |
1.2839 |
0.04735 |
155 |
122 |
22 |
11 |
954 |
I just can’t decide if I should move to Antarctica. |
1.2839 |
0.04735 |
155 |
122 |
22 |
11 |
955 |
She told me she needed someone who was more artisanal. |
1.2839 |
0.04645 |
155 |
121 |
24 |
10 |
956 |
I fell in love with a woman who is lactose intolerant. |
1.2838 |
0.04701 |
148 |
115 |
24 |
9 |
957 |
You’re right, Doctor, I guess I’ve always been a softy. |
1.2838 |
0.04602 |
148 |
114 |
26 |
8 |
958 |
I thought the first date was going so well until she told me she was lactose intolerant. |
1.2838 |
0.04398 |
148 |
112 |
30 |
6 |
959 |
Define “lick” |
1.2838 |
0.04701 |
148 |
115 |
24 |
9 |
960 |
And my cholesterol is through the roof |
1.2838 |
0.04602 |
148 |
114 |
26 |
8 |
961 |
Everyone's saying that I've been acting super cold lately. |
1.2838 |
0.04398 |
148 |
112 |
30 |
6 |
962 |
Transitioning to Dairy King has not been smooth. |
1.2837 |
0.04756 |
141 |
109 |
24 |
8 |
963 |
Doc, I feel tired of being licked! |
1.2837 |
0.04648 |
141 |
108 |
26 |
7 |
964 |
For the last time 'cooler heads will prevail' is not helpful advice. |
1.2835 |
0.04987 |
127 |
98 |
22 |
7 |
965 |
I started dating Hot Fudge a year ago. But we only get together on Sundays. |
1.2833 |
0.05447 |
120 |
95 |
16 |
9 |
966 |
Nobody takes me seriously when I say "That's MISTER Softee to you." |
1.2832 |
0.04225 |
173 |
133 |
31 |
9 |
967 |
Maybe, this whole time, I'm the one who's been intolerant. |
1.2830 |
0.04816 |
159 |
127 |
19 |
13 |
968 |
My wife says I’m frigid. |
1.2830 |
0.04473 |
159 |
123 |
27 |
9 |
969 |
I admit it. I hate to loose a fight. But I sort of enjoy taking a licking. |
1.2829 |
0.04517 |
152 |
117 |
27 |
8 |
970 |
Winters are very lonely for me. |
1.2829 |
0.04113 |
152 |
113 |
35 |
4 |
971 |
Cup or cone….Why does it all feel so binary? |
1.2829 |
0.04320 |
152 |
115 |
31 |
6 |
972 |
I'm just tired of being licked |
1.2828 |
0.04765 |
145 |
113 |
23 |
9 |
973 |
People think I’m too cold when I only try to be sweet. |
1.2828 |
0.04233 |
145 |
108 |
33 |
4 |
974 |
The weird thing is I keep hearing that same tune over and over in my head. |
1.2828 |
0.04864 |
145 |
114 |
21 |
10 |
975 |
Even the blue pills don't help. |
1.2824 |
0.04758 |
131 |
100 |
25 |
6 |
976 |
....its only happened one time, but she wont stop calling me "Soft Serve". |
1.2824 |
0.04758 |
131 |
100 |
25 |
6 |
977 |
I feel a meltdown coming on. |
1.2822 |
0.04309 |
163 |
125 |
30 |
8 |
978 |
People always stick out their Tongue at me…how about a Hello? Thanks you! |
1.2819 |
0.04956 |
149 |
119 |
18 |
12 |
979 |
Then she called me a snow cone! |
1.2819 |
0.04475 |
149 |
114 |
28 |
7 |
980 |
Maybe it's just a head cold".. |
1.2817 |
0.05132 |
142 |
114 |
16 |
12 |
981 |
I am always worried about getting dipped |
1.2815 |
0.04778 |
135 |
104 |
24 |
7 |
982 |
The screaming, all the screaming. I just can't handle it anymore. |
1.2815 |
0.04661 |
135 |
103 |
26 |
6 |
983 |
I'm a soft serve guy in a hard serve world. |
1.2812 |
0.04870 |
160 |
129 |
17 |
14 |
984 |
So, you’re telling me that I’m not twisted? |
1.2812 |
0.04080 |
160 |
120 |
35 |
5 |
985 |
Stop me before I go right to her thighs. |
1.2812 |
0.05427 |
128 |
103 |
14 |
11 |
986 |
I just can't get climate change out of my head! |
1.2810 |
0.04491 |
153 |
118 |
27 |
8 |
987 |
I’m afraid I’m frigid… |
1.2810 |
0.04586 |
153 |
119 |
25 |
9 |
988 |
I don’t know, doc. I just feel licked! |
1.2810 |
0.04770 |
153 |
121 |
21 |
11 |
989 |
I'm thinking of topping myself |
1.2810 |
0.04586 |
153 |
119 |
25 |
9 |
990 |
I fear I may be having another meltdown |
1.2810 |
0.04586 |
153 |
119 |
25 |
9 |
991 |
So you see doc, there’s this jingle in my head…. |
1.2808 |
0.04427 |
146 |
111 |
29 |
6 |
992 |
Guess I'm just a big Softee... |
1.2806 |
0.04570 |
139 |
106 |
27 |
6 |
993 |
Then I screamed, and they screamed, and well -- the rest is history. |
1.2806 |
0.04793 |
139 |
108 |
23 |
8 |
994 |
Just once I wish someone would call me Mr. Hard Ass… |
1.2806 |
0.04336 |
139 |
104 |
31 |
4 |
995 |
Doc, I feel like I am having a major meltdown. |
1.2803 |
0.04726 |
132 |
101 |
25 |
6 |
996 |
The looks, I can handle. It’s all the screaming… |
1.2803 |
0.04475 |
132 |
99 |
29 |
4 |
997 |
My ex wanted sprinkles. |
1.2800 |
0.04741 |
150 |
118 |
22 |
10 |
998 |
Why do they all scream, scream at me? |
1.2800 |
0.05029 |
125 |
97 |
21 |
7 |
999 |
On Fridays I can wear a cone. |
1.2797 |
0.04483 |
143 |
109 |
28 |
6 |
1000 |
“My wife complains that I’m too vanilla.” |
1.2797 |
0.04592 |
143 |
110 |
26 |
7 |
1001 |
I really am trying to be more assertive, doctor, but everyone says I am a hopeless softie. |
1.2794 |
0.04631 |
136 |
104 |
26 |
6 |
1002 |
Everyone I know tells me I'm cold. |
1.2792 |
0.04272 |
154 |
117 |
31 |
6 |
1003 |
The money and recognition are nice and all, but sometimes I just want to be plain old '"Larry" again. |
1.2792 |
0.04560 |
154 |
120 |
25 |
9 |
1004 |
She loves to lick my head up here and not down where all the good stuff is…. and it weirdly turns me on, is that normal? |
1.2792 |
0.04742 |
154 |
122 |
21 |
11 |
1005 |
Is global warming truly an existential threat, or am I'm just going soft in the head? |
1.2791 |
0.04794 |
129 |
99 |
24 |
6 |
1006 |
But everyone said it would be easy to find my Dairy Queen! |
1.2791 |
0.05041 |
129 |
101 |
20 |
8 |
1007 |
Then I wake up and the sprinkles are gone., |
1.2791 |
0.04666 |
129 |
98 |
26 |
5 |
1008 |
Since I lost my sprinkles, life is just plain vanilla. |
1.2789 |
0.04294 |
147 |
111 |
31 |
5 |
1009 |
So, Doc, everything I share is in the cone of silence, right? |
1.2789 |
0.04401 |
147 |
112 |
29 |
6 |
1010 |
For me, sex has always been vanilla. |
1.2789 |
0.04806 |
147 |
116 |
21 |
10 |
1011 |
I think it all started when I learned my real father was a 30-quart soft serve machine. |
1.2789 |
0.04608 |
147 |
114 |
25 |
8 |
1012 |
In the dream, I am screaming, then you start screaming, then we all start screaming, but I can't remember why. |
1.2787 |
0.05492 |
122 |
98 |
14 |
10 |
1013 |
I've always been a people pleaser. |
1.2787 |
0.05109 |
122 |
95 |
20 |
7 |
1014 |
You don't really know the first thing about brain freeze, do you? |
1.2786 |
0.04974 |
140 |
111 |
19 |
10 |
1015 |
You see Doctor, I keep having this recurring fantasy where I’m all covered in chocolate |
1.2786 |
0.04762 |
140 |
109 |
23 |
8 |
1016 |
That rug is not helping! |
1.2782 |
0.04932 |
133 |
104 |
21 |
8 |
1017 |
Everyone screams when they see me. |
1.2782 |
0.04695 |
133 |
102 |
25 |
6 |
1018 |
Be quick, I'm afraid I'm going to have a melt down! |
1.2781 |
0.04522 |
151 |
117 |
26 |
8 |
1019 |
Unfortunately, it’s not my first meltdown. |
1.2778 |
0.05362 |
126 |
101 |
15 |
10 |
1020 |
I feel like people only want me as a summer fling or at their lowest point. |
1.2778 |
0.05119 |
126 |
99 |
19 |
8 |
1021 |
And then the toppings - people just throw them on me. |
1.2778 |
0.04654 |
162 |
129 |
21 |
12 |
1022 |
Help Doc, my wife and I have such a frosty relationship. |
1.2778 |
0.03864 |
180 |
136 |
38 |
6 |
1023 |
My desire is to be liked by others, but autocorrect spelled it "licked." |
1.2774 |
0.05047 |
137 |
109 |
18 |
10 |
1024 |
My anxiety is simple: I am melting. |
1.2770 |
0.04580 |
148 |
115 |
25 |
8 |
1025 |
My tennis coach keeps telling me I have a soft serve. |
1.2770 |
0.04777 |
148 |
117 |
21 |
10 |
1026 |
You've heard of the whole cold immersion thing, right? |
1.2770 |
0.04680 |
148 |
116 |
23 |
9 |
1027 |
I tried keeping a cool head, but I keep having those awful meltdowns. |
1.2770 |
0.04479 |
148 |
114 |
27 |
7 |
1028 |
So here's the twist. |
1.2769 |
0.04762 |
130 |
100 |
24 |
6 |
1029 |
The transition to Dairy King has been difficult. |
1.2768 |
0.04294 |
177 |
139 |
27 |
11 |
1030 |
I just feel so programmed and downright ordinary. Sometimes I dream of doing the outrageous, maybe even plunging my head into a vat of molten chocolate. |
1.2767 |
0.04177 |
159 |
121 |
32 |
6 |
1031 |
They were all "screaming" for me but not in a good way. |
1.2766 |
0.04624 |
141 |
109 |
25 |
7 |
1032 |
Eighteen years, and I just found out my wife prefers chocolate chip! |
1.2764 |
0.05202 |
123 |
97 |
18 |
8 |
1033 |
People throw toppings at me. |
1.2761 |
0.05124 |
134 |
107 |
17 |
10 |
1034 |
My fiance said I had cold feet, but I don't think that's the problem. |
1.2761 |
0.05013 |
134 |
106 |
19 |
9 |
1035 |
It all started in Sundae School ... |
1.2761 |
0.04665 |
134 |
103 |
25 |
6 |
1036 |
Sometimes I just feel like the flavor of the month. |
1.2759 |
0.04429 |
145 |
111 |
28 |
6 |
1037 |
It was mentioned as a possible side effect but I didn’t think… |
1.2759 |
0.04641 |
145 |
113 |
24 |
8 |
1038 |
Oh, Doc - I just can’t seem to control my meltdowns. |
1.2756 |
0.04416 |
156 |
121 |
27 |
8 |
1039 |
I'm feeling terrified. Summer is coming. |
1.2756 |
0.04508 |
156 |
122 |
25 |
9 |
1040 |
That jingle is driving me crazy. |
1.2754 |
0.04573 |
138 |
106 |
26 |
6 |
1041 |
I just want someone to love me for me. |
1.2754 |
0.04456 |
138 |
105 |
28 |
5 |
1042 |
Every time the conversation gets heated, I just melt. |
1.2754 |
0.04573 |
138 |
106 |
26 |
6 |
1043 |
I'm taking a licking every day. |
1.2754 |
0.04799 |
138 |
108 |
22 |
8 |
1044 |
I can’t get that damn tune out of my head! |
1.2752 |
0.04349 |
149 |
114 |
29 |
6 |
1045 |
Doc- is there a cure for chronic brain freeze ? |
1.2752 |
0.04244 |
149 |
113 |
31 |
5 |
1046 |
I screamed, she screamed, we all screamed! |
1.2752 |
0.04843 |
149 |
119 |
19 |
11 |
1047 |
My editor said I'm too much of a softie to compete for scoops. |
1.2752 |
0.04244 |
149 |
113 |
31 |
5 |
1048 |
I just wish they'd call me 'tough serve' for once. |
1.2750 |
0.04874 |
120 |
92 |
23 |
5 |
1049 |
I guess I'm just a big ol' softie. |
1.2748 |
0.04605 |
131 |
100 |
26 |
5 |
1050 |
...and then she said it was because I was soft and servile. |
1.2748 |
0.05089 |
131 |
104 |
18 |
9 |
1051 |
Sometimes I just feel like I'm melting into obscurity! |
1.2748 |
0.04972 |
131 |
103 |
20 |
8 |
1052 |
It feels like my world is melting |
1.2748 |
0.04853 |
131 |
102 |
22 |
7 |
1053 |
They say I’m vanilla like it’s a bad thing. |
1.2748 |
0.04853 |
131 |
102 |
22 |
7 |
1054 |
Then they dipped me in chocolate, and I cracked! |
1.2746 |
0.04703 |
142 |
111 |
23 |
8 |
1055 |
I sometimes feel objectified. |
1.2746 |
0.04596 |
142 |
110 |
25 |
7 |
1056 |
I feel like my problems came from taking a licking all my life. |
1.2746 |
0.04486 |
142 |
109 |
27 |
6 |
1057 |
I'm having thoughts of eating myself. |
1.2746 |
0.04138 |
142 |
106 |
33 |
3 |
1058 |
I feel like my head is in a swirl. |
1.2745 |
0.04373 |
153 |
118 |
28 |
7 |
1059 |
My wife's twisted. |
1.2745 |
0.04373 |
153 |
118 |
28 |
7 |
1060 |
Doc, I know I’m getting soft in the head. |
1.2742 |
0.04768 |
124 |
95 |
24 |
5 |
1061 |
I think you have a mild case of brain freeze. |
1.2742 |
0.04629 |
124 |
94 |
26 |
4 |
1062 |
And then she called me a conehead. Like I've never heard that one before. |
1.2741 |
0.05197 |
135 |
109 |
15 |
11 |
1063 |
I was always the first one in my family to receive a lickin' |
1.2741 |
0.04635 |
135 |
104 |
25 |
6 |
1064 |
And then she ran away with the spoon. |
1.2741 |
0.04867 |
135 |
106 |
21 |
8 |
1065 |
Just once, I'd like people to think of me as 'Mister Toughie' |
1.2741 |
0.04514 |
135 |
103 |
27 |
5 |
1066 |
Mom always said I was a softee. |
1.2741 |
0.04867 |
135 |
106 |
21 |
8 |
1067 |
My girl friend calls me “Mr. Softee” |
1.2740 |
0.04294 |
146 |
111 |
30 |
5 |
1068 |
I wasn't meant for this swirl'd. |
1.2740 |
0.04403 |
146 |
112 |
28 |
6 |
1069 |
It's just not true: we all don't scream. |
1.2735 |
0.05239 |
117 |
92 |
18 |
7 |
1070 |
Then I told her she has a stick up her ass but I was being literal, doc. |
1.2735 |
0.05645 |
117 |
95 |
12 |
10 |
1071 |
It seems like I'm just an old Softie. |
1.2734 |
0.04876 |
139 |
110 |
20 |
9 |
1072 |
Truth is Doc, most days I can be both Ben AND Jerry. |
1.2734 |
0.04982 |
139 |
111 |
18 |
10 |
1073 |
Doc, I don't think I can lick this one! |
1.2733 |
0.04526 |
150 |
117 |
25 |
8 |
1074 |
I'm telling you, doctor, I can't listen to that jingle one more time! |
1.2733 |
0.04225 |
161 |
124 |
30 |
7 |
1075 |
I feel like such a dip….. |
1.2727 |
0.04348 |
154 |
119 |
28 |
7 |
1076 |
She's says I'm cold to her. |
1.2727 |
0.04574 |
132 |
101 |
26 |
5 |
1077 |
And are these "children" in the room with us now? |
1.2727 |
0.04939 |
132 |
104 |
20 |
8 |
1078 |
Children seem to like me, but I leave adults cold. |
1.2727 |
0.04114 |
143 |
107 |
33 |
3 |
1079 |
Being called Mr. Softy has finally gone to my head |
1.2727 |
0.04574 |
132 |
101 |
26 |
5 |
1080 |
My life is hard |
1.2727 |
0.04347 |
143 |
109 |
29 |
5 |
1081 |
My father never loved me. He continually told me that I was soft in the head. |
1.2727 |
0.04880 |
143 |
114 |
19 |
10 |
1082 |
Life is so short, Doctor. |
1.2721 |
0.04377 |
147 |
113 |
28 |
6 |
1083 |
Everyone says I’m too soft. |
1.2721 |
0.04722 |
136 |
106 |
23 |
7 |
1084 |
My wife ran off with a dip. |
1.2721 |
0.04722 |
136 |
106 |
23 |
7 |
1085 |
So, you are saying that it's all in my head? |
1.2721 |
0.04947 |
136 |
108 |
19 |
9 |
1086 |
I don’t know, Doc. It just seems wherever I go, people just want to bite my head off… |
1.2720 |
0.04735 |
125 |
96 |
24 |
5 |
1087 |
The first time I saw her, I melted. |
1.2720 |
0.04735 |
125 |
96 |
24 |
5 |
1088 |
I, just, I'm NOT SOFT! |
1.2720 |
0.04735 |
125 |
96 |
24 |
5 |
1089 |
I didn't know she was lactose intolerant |
1.2716 |
0.04110 |
162 |
124 |
32 |
6 |
1090 |
Why do people always scream at me? |
1.2714 |
0.04401 |
140 |
107 |
28 |
5 |
1091 |
She says I'm too cold, but she used to like that |
1.2714 |
0.04516 |
140 |
108 |
26 |
6 |
1092 |
Do you think l’m a softy? |
1.2714 |
0.04516 |
140 |
108 |
26 |
6 |
1093 |
It's not that people don't like me. I'm just not sure they respect me. |
1.2714 |
0.04401 |
140 |
107 |
28 |
5 |
1094 |
As a kid I wanted to be a Cone Head,but this is what happened. |
1.2714 |
0.04035 |
140 |
104 |
34 |
2 |
1095 |
She left me for a Dilly Bar! |
1.2713 |
0.04891 |
129 |
101 |
21 |
7 |
1096 |
I feel like a swirl trapped in a single-flavor body. |
1.2713 |
0.04505 |
129 |
98 |
27 |
4 |
1097 |
I’m just a big Softee at heart. |
1.2713 |
0.04637 |
129 |
99 |
25 |
5 |
1098 |
Sometimes I wonder if it’s my name that’s contributing to my lack of a sex life. |
1.2712 |
0.05337 |
118 |
94 |
16 |
8 |
1099 |
And, well, apparently the genie had never seen SNL. |
1.2708 |
0.04540 |
144 |
112 |
25 |
7 |
1100 |
Why does everyone prefer waffle cones? |
1.2708 |
0.04431 |
144 |
111 |
27 |
6 |
1101 |
Doc,I got no problem keeping a cool head |
1.2708 |
0.04431 |
144 |
111 |
27 |
6 |
1102 |
‘Then they said I’ll have to work sundae.’ |
1.2708 |
0.04540 |
144 |
112 |
25 |
7 |
1103 |
Being replaced by Pumpkin Spice always triggers my Seasonal Affective Disorder! |
1.2707 |
0.04789 |
133 |
104 |
22 |
7 |
1104 |
What did I do? Why do people always want to bite my head off? |
1.2703 |
0.04657 |
148 |
117 |
22 |
9 |
1105 |
I guess I was just a summer fling |
1.2701 |
0.04915 |
137 |
109 |
19 |
9 |
1106 |
Since when did vanilla become a bad thing? |
1.2698 |
0.04835 |
126 |
98 |
22 |
6 |
1107 |
From the very beginning, I knew I wasn’t like the other kids . . . |
1.2698 |
0.04565 |
126 |
96 |
26 |
4 |
1108 |
I feel like people just like me for my flavor. |
1.2695 |
0.05021 |
141 |
114 |
16 |
11 |
1109 |
This brain freeze is killing me! |
1.2695 |
0.03883 |
141 |
104 |
36 |
1 |
1110 |
Do you know how hard it is to find a hat that fits? |
1.2695 |
0.04708 |
141 |
111 |
22 |
8 |
1111 |
I just don’t understand why everybody thinks I’m so cold. |
1.2692 |
0.05098 |
130 |
104 |
17 |
9 |
1112 |
My wife thinks I'm too vanilla. |
1.2692 |
0.04339 |
130 |
98 |
29 |
3 |
1113 |
And that's when I walked in on my mother and the soft serve machine. |
1.2692 |
0.04858 |
130 |
102 |
21 |
7 |
1114 |
I am having a bit of a meltdown. |
1.2690 |
0.04820 |
145 |
116 |
19 |
10 |
1115 |
My father never licked me. |
1.2689 |
0.05021 |
119 |
93 |
20 |
6 |
1116 |
You'd have a complex too if everyone said you were soft in the head! |
1.2687 |
0.04987 |
134 |
107 |
18 |
9 |
1117 |
Sometimes I just need a Bad Humor day |
1.2687 |
0.04757 |
134 |
105 |
22 |
7 |
1118 |
In my dream I was in front of class with no cone on. |
1.2687 |
0.05207 |
134 |
109 |
14 |
11 |
1119 |
my life is one big headache |
1.2687 |
0.04757 |
134 |
105 |
22 |
7 |
1120 |
I've got so much swirling around in my head. |
1.2687 |
0.04637 |
134 |
104 |
24 |
6 |
1121 |
Worst of all, it's not even ice cream! |
1.2687 |
0.04873 |
134 |
106 |
20 |
8 |
1122 |
I can’t get this one song out of my head. |
1.2683 |
0.05042 |
123 |
97 |
19 |
7 |
1123 |
I feel like my life is on a rockey road Doc |
1.2683 |
0.04482 |
123 |
93 |
27 |
3 |
1124 |
We can lick this problem |
1.2681 |
0.04773 |
138 |
109 |
21 |
8 |
1125 |
Well doc, I can't seem to ever get hard... |
1.2681 |
0.05299 |
138 |
114 |
11 |
13 |
1126 |
Can you possibly give me some pills to sprinkle on top? |
1.2681 |
0.04883 |
138 |
110 |
19 |
9 |
1127 |
It always ends the same… you scream, I scream, we all scream |
1.2681 |
0.04661 |
138 |
108 |
23 |
7 |
1128 |
There's this tune I can't get out of my head." |
1.2680 |
0.04448 |
153 |
120 |
25 |
8 |
1129 |
I feel like my brain is melting. Can you help me lick this? |
1.2680 |
0.04637 |
153 |
122 |
21 |
10 |
1130 |
My name is Beldar. I'm a Conehead. I'm from "France". |
1.2679 |
0.05071 |
112 |
87 |
20 |
5 |
1131 |
I recently had a major meltdown and realized this can't go on |
1.2677 |
0.04802 |
127 |
99 |
22 |
6 |
1132 |
All my thoughts are so twisted. |
1.2677 |
0.04802 |
127 |
99 |
22 |
6 |
1133 |
I can't handle the hot fudge any longer. |
1.2677 |
0.04670 |
127 |
98 |
24 |
5 |
1134 |
Doc, I need your help. My mind, it’s swirling. |
1.2677 |
0.04802 |
127 |
99 |
22 |
6 |
1135 |
Yeah doc, I really think I can lick this thing |
1.2677 |
0.04930 |
127 |
100 |
20 |
7 |
1136 |
They say cooler heads prevail... but I know when I'm licked. |
1.2676 |
0.04571 |
142 |
111 |
24 |
7 |
1137 |
I tried to be a good boy but still my dad would give me a licking. |
1.2676 |
0.04888 |
142 |
114 |
18 |
10 |
1138 |
I know this sounds vain, but I just think I'd have more confidence if I still had sprinkles. |
1.2676 |
0.04571 |
142 |
111 |
24 |
7 |
1139 |
why do I feel intense guilt every time I get hard? |
1.2676 |
0.04784 |
142 |
113 |
20 |
9 |
1140 |
Maybe I’ve overemphasized looking cool? |
1.2675 |
0.04462 |
157 |
124 |
24 |
9 |
1141 |
It just seems like people always scream when the see me. |
1.2672 |
0.05063 |
131 |
105 |
17 |
9 |
1142 |
I keep getting brain freeze. |
1.2672 |
0.04575 |
131 |
101 |
25 |
5 |
1143 |
I asked for "frosted tips" and then everything got out of hand |
1.2672 |
0.04702 |
131 |
102 |
23 |
6 |
1144 |
I identify as bi-polar. I'm only really comfortable at the North or South Pole. |
1.2672 |
0.04825 |
131 |
103 |
21 |
7 |
1145 |
I know I’m spiraling again. |
1.2672 |
0.04575 |
131 |
101 |
25 |
5 |
1146 |
I guess, deep down, I really just am Mister Softie |
1.2672 |
0.05063 |
131 |
105 |
17 |
9 |
1147 |
Face it, I'm licked. |
1.2667 |
0.05122 |
120 |
95 |
18 |
7 |
1148 |
It’s just the same thing playing in my head over and over and over. |
1.2667 |
0.04486 |
135 |
104 |
26 |
5 |
1149 |
Is that a rug or influenza? |
1.2667 |
0.04954 |
135 |
108 |
18 |
9 |
1150 |
I'm just an old softie, doc. |
1.2667 |
0.04841 |
120 |
93 |
22 |
5 |
1151 |
Everyone thinks I'm a drip. |
1.2667 |
0.04841 |
120 |
93 |
22 |
5 |
1152 |
I have this recurring nightmare in which I am being licked by Rudy Giuliani. |
1.2667 |
0.04726 |
135 |
106 |
22 |
7 |
1153 |
I just can't seem to lick it. |
1.2667 |
0.04984 |
120 |
94 |
20 |
6 |
1154 |
...it always ends with me on the ground looking up at a crying child. |
1.2667 |
0.05065 |
135 |
109 |
16 |
10 |
1155 |
Sadly doctor, Im afraid no woman will ever want a man that can only provide a soft serve. |
1.2667 |
0.04841 |
120 |
93 |
22 |
5 |
1156 |
I am not cold enough, and then not soft enough, tell me Doc, how do I break through this outer shell? |
1.2662 |
0.04401 |
139 |
107 |
27 |
5 |
1157 |
It's like she only wants me in the Summer. |
1.2662 |
0.04518 |
139 |
108 |
25 |
6 |
1158 |
Everything was perfect between us until our romance began heating up and I started dripping on her sofa. |
1.2662 |
0.04743 |
139 |
110 |
21 |
8 |
1159 |
I'm thinking of coming out as twist. |
1.2662 |
0.04632 |
139 |
109 |
23 |
7 |
1160 |
People lovee me, but I'm really very cold-hearted |
1.2661 |
0.04451 |
124 |
94 |
27 |
3 |
1161 |
... and then he said, give me the scoop. |
1.2661 |
0.05006 |
124 |
98 |
19 |
7 |
1162 |
Why does everyone think of me as such a softy? |
1.2657 |
0.04433 |
143 |
111 |
26 |
6 |
1163 |
Everyone thinks I’m a softee. |
1.2652 |
0.04283 |
132 |
100 |
29 |
3 |
1164 |
I'm really a sweet guy, but women keep telling me that I am cold. |
1.2652 |
0.04793 |
132 |
104 |
21 |
7 |
1165 |
' cold, she says I'm cold" |
1.2652 |
0.04545 |
132 |
102 |
25 |
5 |
1166 |
Doc, I can't lick this on my own. |
1.2652 |
0.04416 |
132 |
101 |
27 |
4 |
1167 |
I keep having this dream about a giant tongue... |
1.2652 |
0.05028 |
132 |
106 |
17 |
9 |
1168 |
It's always: "I prefer a sugar cone." |
1.2650 |
0.04915 |
117 |
91 |
21 |
5 |
1169 |
I wasn’t born a softee, Doc. I come from a long line of hand- scooped hard-working sugar- cone filling immigrants. |
1.2650 |
0.04915 |
117 |
91 |
21 |
5 |
1170 |
My sweet cherry left me for an old fashioned. |
1.2647 |
0.04810 |
136 |
108 |
20 |
8 |
1171 |
I’ve literally never been hard |
1.2647 |
0.04810 |
136 |
108 |
20 |
8 |
1172 |
I'm afraid of the sunlight. |
1.2645 |
0.04102 |
155 |
119 |
31 |
5 |
1173 |
So being called Mr Softee has not been great for my sex life |
1.2645 |
0.05218 |
121 |
97 |
16 |
8 |
1174 |
Sometimes I just feel licked |
1.2645 |
0.04947 |
121 |
95 |
20 |
6 |
1175 |
I can't leave the apartment when the temperature is over 72. |
1.2645 |
0.04947 |
121 |
95 |
20 |
6 |
1176 |
Do you have any idea what it’s like being soft serve coming from a family of gelato? |
1.2643 |
0.04373 |
140 |
108 |
27 |
5 |
1177 |
"Did you just say, 'Let your troubles melt away?' Really." |
1.2643 |
0.04713 |
140 |
111 |
21 |
8 |
1178 |
The day we brought in Chip Wich and King Cone... I knew layoffs were coming. |
1.2643 |
0.04602 |
140 |
110 |
23 |
7 |
1179 |
No show business career since I turned down the Dan Ackroyd role in 1992. |
1.2642 |
0.04889 |
106 |
81 |
22 |
3 |
1180 |
Gotta a real head cold. |
1.2640 |
0.04970 |
125 |
99 |
19 |
7 |
1181 |
It’s harder than it looks. |
1.2640 |
0.04839 |
125 |
98 |
21 |
6 |
1182 |
"It was elective surgery and now I regret it." |
1.2640 |
0.05345 |
125 |
102 |
13 |
10 |
1183 |
My internist says it's all in my head, but to me, this constant brain freeze is real. |
1.2640 |
0.04839 |
125 |
98 |
21 |
6 |
1184 |
Doc, I know that you and I can lick this thing together. |
1.2640 |
0.04839 |
125 |
98 |
21 |
6 |
1185 |
Constant brain freeze, Doc. |
1.2640 |
0.04970 |
125 |
99 |
19 |
7 |
1186 |
What if I'm just too soft for that second scoop I've been dreaming of? |
1.2639 |
0.04725 |
144 |
115 |
20 |
9 |
1187 |
I really feel like it is your turn to scream. |
1.2639 |
0.03940 |
144 |
108 |
34 |
2 |
1188 |
Doc, even with Viagra, I can't get hard. |
1.2639 |
0.04515 |
144 |
113 |
24 |
7 |
1189 |
Everything being put on me is just starting to feel like…nuts, you know? |
1.2639 |
0.04621 |
144 |
114 |
22 |
8 |
1190 |
It's hard to lose the self-hatred when you're lactose intolerant... |
1.2636 |
0.04736 |
129 |
101 |
22 |
6 |
1191 |
...and that's when my wife deserted me. |
1.2636 |
0.04736 |
129 |
101 |
22 |
6 |
1192 |
I feel that everybody sucks! |
1.2636 |
0.05337 |
129 |
106 |
12 |
11 |
1193 |
Doc, I'm afraid my family won't accept me when they find out I've become a real softy and have decided to become a "Dairy Queen". |
1.2635 |
0.04829 |
148 |
120 |
17 |
11 |
1194 |
This headache is always with me. |
1.2632 |
0.04640 |
133 |
104 |
23 |
6 |
1195 |
It's these headaches... |
1.2632 |
0.04147 |
152 |
117 |
30 |
5 |
1196 |
Then they ALL screamed for ice-cream. |
1.2632 |
0.05107 |
133 |
108 |
15 |
10 |
1197 |
My mom always said my face would freeze this way, and it did. |
1.2632 |
0.05145 |
114 |
90 |
18 |
6 |
1198 |
'I can't wear a hat." |
1.2632 |
0.04834 |
114 |
88 |
22 |
4 |
1199 |
I think my feelings of inadequacy began when I realized I'm not everybody's flavor of the month. |
1.2632 |
0.04761 |
133 |
105 |
21 |
7 |
1200 |
Listen I’m just REALLY freaked out about global warming lately. |
1.2632 |
0.04255 |
133 |
101 |
29 |
3 |
1201 |
I know they’re all screaming FOR me, but it feels like they’re screaming AT me |
1.2632 |
0.04994 |
133 |
107 |
17 |
9 |
1202 |
Just because I still have a soft spot on my head, doesn’t mean I’m immature! |
1.2632 |
0.04255 |
133 |
101 |
29 |
3 |
1203 |
I want to ask her out, but I keep dripping all over myself. |
1.2632 |
0.04994 |
133 |
107 |
17 |
9 |
1204 |
...so then she says "I wanted a swirl, not vanilla!" |
1.2628 |
0.04306 |
137 |
105 |
28 |
4 |
1205 |
When people call me 'Mr. Softee', I still turn around looking for my dad. |
1.2628 |
0.04665 |
137 |
108 |
22 |
7 |
1206 |
I think I'm being sweet, so why does it feel like everyone wants to bite my head off? |
1.2628 |
0.04665 |
137 |
108 |
22 |
7 |
1207 |
Why does everyone SCREAM for Ice Cream? Would it kill then to whisper just once? |
1.2628 |
0.04428 |
137 |
106 |
26 |
5 |
1208 |
I can't figure out why people won't take me seriously. |
1.2627 |
0.05571 |
118 |
97 |
11 |
10 |
1209 |
I, vanilla, was top of the licking order, now they want multi-colored cones. |
1.2627 |
0.04878 |
118 |
92 |
21 |
5 |
1210 |
I’m sick of being seen as a big softee |
1.2624 |
0.04683 |
141 |
112 |
21 |
8 |
1211 |
I’m not, I’m not a Mr. Softie. |
1.2623 |
0.04771 |
122 |
95 |
22 |
5 |
1212 |
'it used to be about the music' |
1.2623 |
0.04324 |
122 |
92 |
28 |
2 |
1213 |
I spent my whole childhood trying to be Gelato |
1.2623 |
0.04627 |
122 |
94 |
24 |
4 |
1214 |
Everyone addresses me "Mister," but they don't really respect me. |
1.2621 |
0.05847 |
103 |
84 |
11 |
8 |
1215 |
I would freeze in moments of anxiety and my wife told me it was all in my head. |
1.2621 |
0.05155 |
103 |
80 |
19 |
4 |
1216 |
I wish I weren't such a softee. |
1.2619 |
0.04805 |
126 |
99 |
21 |
6 |
1217 |
All everyone ever asks is "where's the ice cream?", but never "how is the ice cream?" I'm sorry... shall we go back to talking about my mother? |
1.2619 |
0.04671 |
126 |
98 |
23 |
5 |
1218 |
I thought life would be a piece of cake and it isn’t. |
1.2619 |
0.04671 |
126 |
98 |
23 |
5 |
1219 |
Before we begin, could we lower the thermostat? |
1.2619 |
0.04671 |
126 |
98 |
23 |
5 |
1220 |
No, I don't need a tissue.
But a paper towel would be welcome. |
1.2619 |
0.04671 |
126 |
98 |
23 |
5 |
1221 |
My wife says I need to harden up. |
1.2617 |
0.04664 |
107 |
81 |
24 |
2 |
1222 |
I came to you, Doc, because obviously lots of people have licked your head, too. |
1.2615 |
0.04951 |
130 |
104 |
18 |
8 |
1223 |
I just can't handle all the screaming. |
1.2615 |
0.04575 |
130 |
101 |
24 |
5 |
1224 |
If I could just get rid of the curl on top, I could fit in. |
1.2615 |
0.04166 |
130 |
98 |
30 |
2 |
1225 |
I feel like such a drip when I’m out in crowds |
1.2615 |
0.04575 |
130 |
101 |
24 |
5 |
1226 |
I guess it all started when my parents had a custardy battle over me |
1.2613 |
0.05073 |
111 |
87 |
19 |
5 |
1227 |
And the children…the children throw sprinkles at me. |
1.2613 |
0.05386 |
111 |
89 |
15 |
7 |
1228 |
My friends think I’m too much a plain-vanilla guy. |
1.2612 |
0.04846 |
134 |
107 |
19 |
8 |
1229 |
I know when I’m licked, doc. |
1.2612 |
0.04228 |
134 |
102 |
29 |
3 |
1230 |
My work has been nearly unbearable. 7 days a week, including sundaes. |
1.2609 |
0.04635 |
138 |
109 |
22 |
7 |
1231 |
Worst brain freeze I’ve ever had, doc. I think it would help if you took a little off the top. |
1.2609 |
0.05106 |
115 |
91 |
18 |
6 |
1232 |
I thought you said keep a DAIRY of my thoughts! |
1.2609 |
0.05253 |
115 |
92 |
16 |
7 |
1233 |
I feel like I’m always on the verge of a meltdown. |
1.2609 |
0.04519 |
138 |
108 |
24 |
6 |
1234 |
I do have a problem, but it doesn’t help to say you’re going to help me lick it. |
1.2606 |
0.04863 |
142 |
115 |
17 |
10 |
1235 |
It was this or the hand churned. |
1.2605 |
0.04693 |
119 |
92 |
23 |
4 |
1236 |
To be honest with you, I also like Chocolate best. |
1.2605 |
0.04379 |
119 |
90 |
27 |
2 |
1237 |
I keep feeling like I'm being licked. |
1.2603 |
0.04243 |
146 |
113 |
28 |
5 |
1238 |
How would you like it if your head came oozing out of a machine? |
1.2602 |
0.04737 |
123 |
96 |
22 |
5 |
1239 |
My biggest fear is being trapped in a hot car. |
1.2598 |
0.05269 |
127 |
104 |
13 |
10 |
1240 |
It’s just that I’ve always been told that cooler heads will prevail. |
1.2598 |
0.04900 |
127 |
101 |
19 |
7 |
1241 |
But does anyone ever think about the Dairy **King**? |
1.2598 |
0.04771 |
127 |
100 |
21 |
6 |
1242 |
Is miss the sun, isn't that ironic. |
1.2598 |
0.04501 |
127 |
98 |
25 |
4 |
1243 |
Why does everyone love Sunday more? |
1.2596 |
0.04926 |
104 |
80 |
21 |
3 |
1244 |
...and that's when I realized I was lactose intolerant. |
1.2596 |
0.05291 |
104 |
82 |
17 |
5 |
1245 |
It seems nobody wants a Dairy King. |
1.2595 |
0.04796 |
131 |
104 |
20 |
7 |
1246 |
It's kind of like brain freeze, but different. |
1.2595 |
0.04917 |
131 |
105 |
18 |
8 |
1247 |
The sun came out. It was hot. I was terrified. Then I woke up..that’s all I remember. |
1.2595 |
0.04414 |
131 |
101 |
26 |
4 |
1248 |
I’ve always wanted to be a gelato. |
1.2595 |
0.04414 |
131 |
101 |
26 |
4 |
1249 |
I invited her to meet my parents, but when we got to the drive-thru, they weren’t working. |
1.2595 |
0.04796 |
131 |
104 |
20 |
7 |
1250 |
I could use your help in understanding my obsession with global warming. |
1.2595 |
0.04796 |
131 |
104 |
20 |
7 |
1251 |
She always seems to have a headache. |
1.2593 |
0.04814 |
135 |
108 |
19 |
8 |
1252 |
Gretchen will not join me in the freezer which is the only place I can function as the mate she dreams of. |
1.2593 |
0.04928 |
135 |
109 |
17 |
9 |
1253 |
It's been all Peaches and Cream up until now, but I think it's going to be a Rocky Road ahead... |
1.2593 |
0.04987 |
108 |
84 |
20 |
4 |
1254 |
Apparently, cooler heads don't always prevail after all. |
1.2589 |
0.04702 |
112 |
86 |
23 |
3 |
1255 |
I scream all the time. What's wrong with me, doctor? |
1.2589 |
0.04702 |
112 |
86 |
23 |
3 |
1256 |
I just look odd, even in my sundae best. |
1.2589 |
0.05190 |
112 |
89 |
17 |
6 |
1257 |
And then she told me I would never be a gelato!” |
1.2587 |
0.04517 |
143 |
113 |
23 |
7 |
1258 |
And then my wife got her inevitable headache. |
1.2587 |
0.04293 |
143 |
111 |
27 |
5 |
1259 |
I'm lactose intolerant |
1.2586 |
0.04916 |
116 |
91 |
20 |
5 |
1260 |
All I said was, “It’s DOCTOR Frosty, Moron.” |
1.2585 |
0.04638 |
147 |
118 |
20 |
9 |
1261 |
I wanna be a tough guy but everyone insists I’m a softee. |
1.2583 |
0.05358 |
120 |
98 |
13 |
9 |
1262 |
I had a refrigerator mother. |
1.2583 |
0.04950 |
120 |
95 |
19 |
6 |
1263 |
It's really emasculating to be called soft all the time. |
1.2583 |
0.05090 |
120 |
96 |
17 |
7 |
1264 |
But I identify as ice cream. |
1.2581 |
0.05476 |
124 |
103 |
10 |
11 |
1265 |
My parents were cold |
1.2581 |
0.04974 |
124 |
99 |
18 |
7 |
1266 |
Everyone calls me Mr. Robbins, but you may call me Baskin. |
1.2581 |
0.04562 |
124 |
96 |
24 |
4 |
1267 |
I can't help but feel as if I'd be much happier as a cup. |
1.2581 |
0.04704 |
124 |
97 |
22 |
5 |
1268 |
I don't know, it just seems like soft serve is a thing of the past. |
1.2581 |
0.04374 |
155 |
123 |
24 |
8 |
1269 |
I just want to be hard |
1.2581 |
0.04974 |
124 |
99 |
18 |
7 |
1270 |
I was only supposed to be Queen for a day... |
1.2578 |
0.04606 |
128 |
100 |
23 |
5 |
1271 |
She caught me in a banana split. |
1.2578 |
0.04866 |
128 |
102 |
19 |
7 |
1272 |
Why does everyone assume that I'm a total softy? |
1.2578 |
0.04471 |
128 |
99 |
25 |
4 |
1273 |
My mind is in a constant swirl. |
1.2576 |
0.04764 |
132 |
105 |
20 |
7 |
1274 |
I’m trying to be firmer with people, but my reputation is holding me back. |
1.2576 |
0.04385 |
132 |
102 |
26 |
4 |
1275 |
I feel like I'm going to have a melt down |
1.2576 |
0.04385 |
132 |
102 |
26 |
4 |
1276 |
Doctor, I keep having this terrible dream where I'm being dipped in chocolate. |
1.2576 |
0.05001 |
132 |
107 |
16 |
9 |
1277 |
I think my humor is just fine but my friends tell me it's not really good |
1.2576 |
0.04385 |
132 |
102 |
26 |
4 |
1278 |
The truth is, I’m nonbinary! |
1.2576 |
0.04764 |
132 |
105 |
20 |
7 |
1279 |
Sure, they’ll call me ‘consistent’ or ‘dependable,’ but at the end of the day, no one wants to settle with vanilla… |
1.2576 |
0.04515 |
132 |
103 |
24 |
5 |
1280 |
MAYBE I SHOULD CHILL |
1.2574 |
0.05006 |
101 |
78 |
20 |
3 |
1281 |
She told me she doesn’t like it served soft. |
1.2574 |
0.04782 |
136 |
109 |
19 |
8 |
1282 |
And just how can brain freeze be psychosomatic? |
1.2574 |
0.04428 |
136 |
106 |
25 |
5 |
1283 |
I've been experiencing more brain freeze than ever, Doc. |
1.2574 |
0.04174 |
136 |
104 |
29 |
3 |
1284 |
As far as our sex life goes,
she’s vanilla too,
but I’ve become too soft. |
1.2574 |
0.04782 |
136 |
109 |
19 |
8 |
1285 |
How long have the screams been bothering you? |
1.2574 |
0.04667 |
136 |
108 |
21 |
7 |
1286 |
I'm thinking of transitioning to a cone. |
1.2571 |
0.05746 |
105 |
86 |
11 |
8 |
1287 |
My parents only praised me for keeping a cool head. |
1.2569 |
0.04802 |
144 |
117 |
17 |
10 |
1288 |
So does it feel like you're swirling or spiraling out of control? |
1.2569 |
0.04947 |
109 |
85 |
20 |
4 |
1289 |
Climate change is just killing me. |
1.2569 |
0.04947 |
109 |
85 |
20 |
4 |
1290 |
And yes, I have already tried embracing pumpkin spice. And no, it hasn’t reduced my seasonal depression! |
1.2569 |
0.05438 |
109 |
88 |
14 |
7 |
1291 |
It's even harder getting bullied when you already have a swirly. |
1.2568 |
0.04406 |
148 |
117 |
24 |
7 |
1292 |
It's just lonely with Cherry gone, you know? |
1.2566 |
0.04833 |
113 |
88 |
21 |
4 |
1293 |
She didn't care a lick about me. |
1.2566 |
0.05149 |
113 |
90 |
17 |
6 |
1294 |
Everyone calls me Beldar. |
1.2564 |
0.04726 |
117 |
91 |
22 |
4 |
1295 |
Keeping a cool head is not easy these days |
1.2562 |
0.04625 |
121 |
94 |
23 |
4 |
1296 |
I’ve been having issues with my relationship. I melt whenever she looks at me. |
1.2562 |
0.05052 |
121 |
97 |
17 |
7 |
1297 |
I worry the ice cream headache is all in my mind. |
1.2560 |
0.04939 |
125 |
100 |
18 |
7 |
1298 |
I don’t know doc, the only way I can describe it is it’s like a constant Brain freeze |
1.2560 |
0.04670 |
125 |
98 |
22 |
5 |
1299 |
I’m nothing without the sprinkles. |
1.2558 |
0.04575 |
129 |
101 |
23 |
5 |
1300 |
Being chill 24/7 is hightly overrated, Doc. |
1.2558 |
0.04705 |
129 |
102 |
21 |
6 |
1301 |
My doctor says I'm lactose intolerant, but I think it's all in my head. |
1.2558 |
0.04705 |
129 |
102 |
21 |
6 |
1302 |
She always wants to go to the beach, and I keep telling her, 'Helen, it's the seagulls, for God's sake. |
1.2558 |
0.04832 |
129 |
103 |
19 |
7 |
1303 |
I need some sprinkles in my life |
1.2558 |
0.04832 |
129 |
103 |
19 |
7 |
1304 |
I want my partner to see me as more than just a tasty treat. |
1.2556 |
0.04610 |
133 |
105 |
22 |
6 |
1305 |
She dumped me for being too vanilla. |
1.2556 |
0.04356 |
133 |
103 |
26 |
4 |
1306 |
Maybe it’s me, and not the machine, that’s broken |
1.2556 |
0.04732 |
133 |
106 |
20 |
7 |
1307 |
Which one of your 31 personalities are you today? |
1.2555 |
0.04751 |
137 |
110 |
19 |
8 |
1308 |
I just feel like I’m in for a licking all the time. |
1.2553 |
0.04199 |
141 |
109 |
28 |
4 |
1309 |
I just can't take the heat |
1.2550 |
0.04380 |
149 |
118 |
24 |
7 |
1310 |
…and then there’s the headaches! |
1.2550 |
0.04583 |
149 |
120 |
20 |
9 |
1311 |
It's over, Doc. I know when I'm licked. |
1.2547 |
0.05537 |
106 |
86 |
13 |
7 |
1312 |
I want to tell her I love her, but every time I see her I just melt. |
1.2544 |
0.04955 |
114 |
90 |
19 |
5 |
1313 |
Only then did Dr. Robbins realize he'd not eaten lunch. |
1.2544 |
0.05546 |
114 |
94 |
11 |
9 |
1314 |
Sometimes, my sense of self feels so twisted. |
1.2544 |
0.05109 |
114 |
91 |
17 |
6 |
1315 |
I have this sharp pain, like my brain is frozen, but every doctor I've seen insists it's all in my head. |
1.2544 |
0.04795 |
114 |
89 |
21 |
4 |
1316 |
. “I have lost my joy in dairy” |
1.2544 |
0.04955 |
114 |
90 |
19 |
5 |
1317 |
Head colds are common. |
1.2542 |
0.04990 |
118 |
94 |
18 |
6 |
1318 |
I have all these thoughts swirling in my head |
1.2542 |
0.04842 |
118 |
93 |
20 |
5 |
1319 |
I feel like I’m on the verge of a major meltdown. |
1.2542 |
0.05133 |
118 |
95 |
16 |
7 |
1320 |
It started out as a wish to be recognized and desired |
1.2540 |
0.05156 |
126 |
103 |
14 |
9 |
1321 |
… and then my heart melted. |
1.2540 |
0.04355 |
126 |
97 |
26 |
3 |
1322 |
Honestly... I've tried so hard. |
1.2540 |
0.04904 |
126 |
101 |
18 |
7 |
1323 |
I try to put on a tough shell, but the truth is, underneath it all, I'm really just a softie. |
1.2540 |
0.04904 |
126 |
101 |
18 |
7 |
1324 |
It started out as brain freeze. |
1.2540 |
0.04772 |
126 |
100 |
20 |
6 |
1325 |
Everyone thinks I am too soft. |
1.2540 |
0.04638 |
126 |
99 |
22 |
5 |
1326 |
I think I scream too much. |
1.2540 |
0.04772 |
126 |
100 |
20 |
6 |
1327 |
I have this feeling that everyone I meet wants to lick me. |
1.2540 |
0.04772 |
126 |
100 |
20 |
6 |
1328 |
Something's missing from my life. You think sprinkles might help? |
1.2538 |
0.04544 |
130 |
102 |
23 |
5 |
1329 |
I don't know, Doc, I guess I'm too soft. I meltdown whenever I'm confronted. |
1.2538 |
0.04544 |
130 |
102 |
23 |
5 |
1330 |
I always wanted to be Doctor Softee. |
1.2537 |
0.04579 |
134 |
106 |
22 |
6 |
1331 |
I still can't get over being rejected for a part in the Coneheads on SNL. |
1.2536 |
0.04607 |
138 |
110 |
21 |
7 |
1332 |
But, doctor, it's the worst head cold I've ever had! |
1.2533 |
0.04456 |
150 |
120 |
22 |
8 |
1333 |
There’s just so much intolerance in this world.”
#newyorker #newyorkercartoon |
1.2525 |
0.05624 |
99 |
80 |
13 |
6 |
1334 |
I please everyone else but myself. |
1.2524 |
0.05110 |
103 |
81 |
18 |
4 |
1335 |
Why am I such a softee? |
1.2523 |
0.05034 |
111 |
88 |
18 |
5 |
1336 |
Doc, I guess I just feel licked. |
1.2522 |
0.04251 |
115 |
87 |
27 |
1 |
1337 |
All my doubts of being too ‘vanilla’ swirl around my head all the time. |
1.2521 |
0.04656 |
119 |
93 |
22 |
4 |
1338 |
So… What’s the scoop? |
1.2520 |
0.04410 |
123 |
95 |
25 |
3 |
1339 |
I can't stop worrying about global warming. |
1.2520 |
0.04842 |
123 |
98 |
19 |
6 |
1340 |
But, cooler heads prevailed... |
1.2520 |
0.04842 |
123 |
98 |
19 |
6 |
1341 |
No matter what I do, I'm always licked! |
1.2520 |
0.05110 |
123 |
100 |
15 |
8 |
1342 |
I think I’m not cut out to be a reporter. I never get the scoop. |
1.2520 |
0.04703 |
123 |
97 |
21 |
5 |
1343 |
I just want them to see that I'm more than just a softy |
1.2520 |
0.04467 |
127 |
99 |
24 |
4 |
1344 |
I just get constant brain freeze whenever I try to tell her how I feel. |
1.2520 |
0.04605 |
127 |
100 |
22 |
5 |
1345 |
Everyone thinks brain freeze is a joke." |
1.2520 |
0.04869 |
127 |
102 |
18 |
7 |
1346 |
You know that saying, “You are what you eat”? I’ |
1.2520 |
0.04996 |
127 |
103 |
16 |
8 |
1347 |
...but I always identified as chocolate dipped. |
1.2519 |
0.04641 |
131 |
104 |
21 |
6 |
1348 |
Every day I start feeling on top of the world, but within hours, I'm licked. |
1.2519 |
0.04513 |
131 |
103 |
23 |
5 |
1349 |
It's sounds twisted doesn't it! |
1.2519 |
0.04426 |
135 |
106 |
24 |
5 |
1350 |
And then she tells me she wants someone less vanilla in bed. |
1.2519 |
0.04299 |
135 |
105 |
26 |
4 |
1351 |
My friends can be really hard. |
1.2519 |
0.04169 |
135 |
104 |
28 |
3 |
1352 |
I just can't break into Big Time Tennis with my soft-serve background! |
1.2517 |
0.04490 |
143 |
114 |
22 |
7 |
1353 |
Mr. Coffee is hot and I am not. |
1.2500 |
0.04660 |
112 |
87 |
22 |
3 |
1354 |
People just like me because I'm a softy. |
1.2500 |
0.04437 |
128 |
100 |
24 |
4 |
1355 |
She dumped me for gelato. |
1.2500 |
0.04669 |
124 |
98 |
21 |
5 |
1356 |
I feel like I've been licked. |
1.2500 |
0.04561 |
116 |
90 |
23 |
3 |
1357 |
I'm always afraid someone will bite my head off. |
1.2500 |
0.04972 |
132 |
108 |
15 |
9 |
1358 |
Keep a cool head, they said. And now everyone wants a bite. |
1.2500 |
0.04483 |
132 |
104 |
23 |
5 |
1359 |
Doc, I just need to find a way to lick all these problems |
1.2500 |
0.04835 |
128 |
103 |
18 |
7 |
1360 |
It’s like a total brain freeze, all the time. |
1.2500 |
0.04573 |
128 |
101 |
22 |
5 |
1361 |
There's this jingle I can't get out of my head. |
1.2500 |
0.05152 |
112 |
90 |
16 |
6 |
1362 |
I am just so tired of being licked... |
1.2500 |
0.04835 |
128 |
103 |
18 |
7 |
1363 |
I am more concerned about a brain melt. |
1.2500 |
0.04669 |
124 |
98 |
21 |
5 |
1364 |
She.. She.. She was soft serve doc. Perfect in every way... |
1.2500 |
0.04217 |
132 |
102 |
27 |
3 |
1365 |
How come they don't have a Dairy King |
1.2500 |
0.04754 |
136 |
110 |
18 |
8 |
1366 |
Why must I always be Mr. Softee? |
1.2500 |
0.04915 |
120 |
96 |
18 |
6 |
1367 |
I think I’m iconic. |
1.2500 |
0.05444 |
108 |
88 |
13 |
7 |
1368 |
My father was very cold, too. |
1.2500 |
0.04308 |
120 |
92 |
26 |
2 |
1369 |
Even my kids call me a cone head |
1.2500 |
0.04807 |
124 |
99 |
19 |
6 |
1370 |
A lot of people think I’m soft in the head, but my DQ is 140. |
1.2500 |
0.04669 |
124 |
98 |
21 |
5 |
1371 |
Women only want me for one thing. |
1.2500 |
0.04879 |
116 |
92 |
19 |
5 |
1372 |
Would it be OK if I close the drapes completely? |
1.2500 |
0.05592 |
104 |
85 |
12 |
7 |
1373 |
Everyone says I'm too vanilla. |
1.2500 |
0.04669 |
124 |
98 |
21 |
5 |
1374 |
Everyone says I am just a softie |
1.2500 |
0.04573 |
128 |
101 |
22 |
5 |
1375 |
It all started with brain freeze. |
1.2500 |
0.04879 |
116 |
92 |
19 |
5 |
1376 |
Seasonal what? |
1.2500 |
0.05030 |
116 |
93 |
17 |
6 |
1377 |
I sometimes wonder who would notice if I just melted away completely. |
1.2500 |
0.04437 |
128 |
100 |
24 |
4 |
1378 |
YES, IT SEENMS TO BE WORKING. I FEEL MUCH MORE COOL-HEADED. |
1.2500 |
0.04638 |
136 |
109 |
20 |
7 |
1379 |
Brain freeze is really debilitating |
1.2500 |
0.05752 |
100 |
82 |
11 |
7 |
1380 |
Doc, I can’t go on…I’m licked! |
1.2500 |
0.04437 |
128 |
100 |
24 |
4 |
1381 |
Why scream? |
1.2500 |
0.04296 |
128 |
99 |
26 |
3 |
1382 |
My thoughts are just all swirled, doc. |
1.2500 |
0.04069 |
124 |
94 |
29 |
1 |
1383 |
It was a beautiful first date… then I leaned into kiss her and she… she licked me. |
1.2500 |
0.05030 |
116 |
93 |
17 |
6 |
1384 |
I have a rocky road past, doc. |
1.2500 |
0.04195 |
140 |
109 |
27 |
4 |
1385 |
Everybody tells me I’m so vanilla. |
1.2500 |
0.04660 |
112 |
87 |
22 |
3 |
1386 |
They always ask if the ice cream machine's broken, but never the ice cream. |
1.2485 |
0.04262 |
169 |
137 |
22 |
10 |
1387 |
I used to be a queen before I transitioned, Dairy King just doesn’t sound right. |
1.2481 |
0.04821 |
133 |
108 |
17 |
8 |
1388 |
My thoughts keep on swirling around in my mind. And then they melt away |
1.2481 |
0.04673 |
129 |
103 |
20 |
6 |
1389 |
Everyone is always saying how cold I am, like on the inside |
1.2481 |
0.04542 |
129 |
102 |
22 |
5 |
1390 |
I just can't get that jingle out of my head. |
1.2480 |
0.04773 |
125 |
100 |
19 |
6 |
1391 |
You can’t imagine what it’s like to have permanent brain freeze. |
1.2480 |
0.05036 |
125 |
102 |
15 |
8 |
1392 |
She wants to spoon me, but I'm just not ready. |
1.2480 |
0.04906 |
125 |
101 |
17 |
7 |
1393 |
The kids in school would pick on me, call me names like Mister Softee. |
1.2480 |
0.04495 |
125 |
98 |
23 |
4 |
1394 |
My wife keeps calling me a softy |
1.2480 |
0.04773 |
125 |
100 |
19 |
6 |
1395 |
Every partner I've had has told me I'm a very sweet guy, but I've never been able to have a long-lasting relationship |
1.2480 |
0.04773 |
125 |
100 |
19 |
6 |
1396 |
I don’t know…my heads just in a whirl |
1.2480 |
0.04349 |
125 |
97 |
25 |
3 |
1397 |
My father was a banana. He split when I was five. |
1.2479 |
0.05018 |
121 |
98 |
16 |
7 |
1398 |
Every time I try to unpack my emotions it's like I get brain freeze |
1.2479 |
0.04588 |
121 |
95 |
22 |
4 |
1399 |
Do you have any family members that suffer from brain freeze? |
1.2479 |
0.05018 |
121 |
98 |
16 |
7 |
1400 |
Vanilla, Yes, but I too can be adventurous |
1.2479 |
0.04736 |
121 |
96 |
20 |
5 |
1401 |
People say I have no taste. |
1.2479 |
0.04527 |
117 |
91 |
23 |
3 |
1402 |
Maybe just because it’s chic, I’ve always felt inferior to gelato |
1.2479 |
0.04361 |
117 |
90 |
25 |
2 |
1403 |
My parents always told me to keep a cool head... |
1.2478 |
0.04624 |
113 |
88 |
22 |
3 |
1404 |
But, Doc, I really want to be Dairy King! |
1.2478 |
0.04954 |
113 |
90 |
18 |
5 |
1405 |
I’m always getting teased about being soft in the head ! |
1.2478 |
0.05111 |
113 |
91 |
16 |
6 |
1406 |
I don't know what to do. Every time we start kissing she stops and tells me she has a headache. |
1.2478 |
0.04792 |
113 |
89 |
20 |
4 |
1407 |
I finally meet a girl name Cohen, and of course she’s lactose intolerant |
1.2477 |
0.04728 |
109 |
85 |
21 |
3 |
1408 |
Sunshine, has just the opposite effect
On me and actually depresses me.' |
1.2477 |
0.05554 |
109 |
90 |
11 |
8 |
1409 |
I’m trying to avoid another meltdown. |
1.2476 |
0.04838 |
105 |
82 |
20 |
3 |
1410 |
They say, 'That's the way the cookie crumbles,' but I guess I never thought that applied to me. |
1.2476 |
0.05376 |
105 |
85 |
14 |
6 |
1411 |
Ironically,it last for hours. |
1.2476 |
0.05203 |
105 |
84 |
16 |
5 |
1412 |
Some say I’m just a big softie |
1.2475 |
0.05152 |
101 |
80 |
17 |
4 |
1413 |
Mr. Softee was my father. I'm just Darryl. |
1.2474 |
0.05290 |
97 |
77 |
16 |
4 |
1414 |
I was never tough, but at work they whisper behind my back: there goes Mr. Softee. |
1.2463 |
0.04549 |
134 |
107 |
21 |
6 |
1415 |
I tried being sweet. It didn’t work. |
1.2463 |
0.04424 |
134 |
106 |
23 |
5 |
1416 |
I'm Not a cone-head. |
1.2462 |
0.04238 |
130 |
101 |
26 |
3 |
1417 |
It’s these damn headaches. |
1.2462 |
0.04095 |
130 |
100 |
28 |
2 |
1418 |
I just need to be held tightly. |
1.2462 |
0.04377 |
130 |
102 |
24 |
4 |
1419 |
My problem is headaches, doc. Constant headaches. |
1.2462 |
0.04641 |
130 |
104 |
20 |
6 |
1420 |
She said I couldn't commit, but frankly I'm just really scared. She's so hot! |
1.2460 |
0.04603 |
126 |
100 |
21 |
5 |
1421 |
Don't tell me to chill out. |
1.2460 |
0.04319 |
126 |
98 |
25 |
3 |
1422 |
I will melt |
1.2459 |
0.04403 |
122 |
95 |
24 |
3 |
1423 |
Do you realize it was the hottest summer ever? |
1.2458 |
0.04652 |
118 |
93 |
21 |
4 |
1424 |
I have always been the softie in my relationships |
1.2458 |
0.04805 |
118 |
94 |
19 |
5 |
1425 |
I've always wanted to be chocolate |
1.2458 |
0.04493 |
118 |
92 |
23 |
3 |
1426 |
Everyone thinks I'm a soft touch. |
1.2458 |
0.04953 |
118 |
95 |
17 |
6 |
1427 |
I have no problem if I am criticized, but if somebody compliments me, I just melt. |
1.2458 |
0.04805 |
118 |
94 |
19 |
5 |
1428 |
I mean it could be paranoia…..or maybe just brain freeze? |
1.2458 |
0.04805 |
118 |
94 |
19 |
5 |
1429 |
My wife tells me ice cream in my sleep. |
1.2458 |
0.04805 |
118 |
94 |
19 |
5 |
1430 |
I'm from France. |
1.2458 |
0.04953 |
118 |
95 |
17 |
6 |
1431 |
If only I had sprinkles . . . |
1.2456 |
0.04237 |
114 |
87 |
26 |
1 |
1432 |
It was so embarrassing, Doc, I just melted in front of everyone at the sight of her. |
1.2456 |
0.04237 |
114 |
87 |
26 |
1 |
1433 |
…then she said that she was lactose intolerant. |
1.2456 |
0.05071 |
114 |
92 |
16 |
6 |
1434 |
I have these thoughts that keep swirling around in my head. |
1.2456 |
0.04915 |
114 |
91 |
18 |
5 |
1435 |
Then she told me didn't care a lick about me. |
1.2456 |
0.04755 |
114 |
90 |
20 |
4 |
1436 |
It's not easy being Kreme. |
1.2456 |
0.04416 |
114 |
88 |
24 |
2 |
1437 |
I feel like I'm being eaten alive. |
1.2455 |
0.04865 |
110 |
87 |
19 |
4 |
1438 |
I can't seem to lick this thing. Is it all in my head? |
1.2453 |
0.05657 |
106 |
88 |
10 |
8 |
1439 |
« Yes, I’ve tried Viagra. » |
1.2453 |
0.05330 |
106 |
86 |
14 |
6 |
1440 |
I don't think of myself as Vanilla. |
1.2453 |
0.04982 |
106 |
84 |
18 |
4 |
1441 |
No one wants Vanilla. |
1.2453 |
0.04982 |
106 |
84 |
18 |
4 |
1442 |
I thought I had it licked. |
1.2453 |
0.04798 |
106 |
83 |
20 |
3 |
1443 |
I know I'm a softy... but does that mean I have to take a lickin' from everyone? |
1.2453 |
0.04798 |
106 |
83 |
20 |
3 |
1444 |
Depression, no way. I know for a fact that it is brain freeze. |
1.2452 |
0.03920 |
155 |
121 |
30 |
4 |
1445 |
...and then I found myself just screaming. I scream and scream for no reason at all. |
1.2451 |
0.04914 |
102 |
80 |
19 |
3 |
1446 |
Every time I close my eyes, I hear their screams. |
1.2451 |
0.05649 |
102 |
84 |
11 |
7 |
1447 |
Climate change is beginning to take a toll on me. |
1.2451 |
0.05107 |
102 |
81 |
17 |
4 |
1448 |
People say "Brain-Freeze" like it's a bad thing! |
1.2451 |
0.04712 |
102 |
79 |
21 |
2 |
1449 |
She keeps trying to 'spoon' with me.... it's like she doesn't get me at all. |
1.2451 |
0.05649 |
102 |
84 |
11 |
7 |
1450 |
I have this feeling that I'm going soft in the head |
1.2449 |
0.05242 |
98 |
78 |
16 |
4 |
1451 |
I’m so tired of the “soft serve” jokes! |
1.2448 |
0.04351 |
143 |
114 |
23 |
6 |
1452 |
Do you have anything for chronic brain freeze? |
1.2448 |
0.04571 |
143 |
116 |
19 |
8 |
1453 |
Manic depressive, ok. But now lactose intolerance?! |
1.2447 |
0.05171 |
94 |
74 |
17 |
3 |
1454 |
Doctor, my life is melting away |
1.2446 |
0.04432 |
139 |
111 |
22 |
6 |
1455 |
My head won't stop swirling. |
1.2444 |
0.04639 |
135 |
109 |
19 |
7 |
1456 |
I'm not ice cream, I'm soft-serve. I can't be all things to all people. |
1.2443 |
0.04480 |
131 |
104 |
22 |
5 |
1457 |
Did you just lick me? |
1.2441 |
0.04837 |
127 |
103 |
17 |
7 |
1458 |
I’m trying to keep a cool head. |
1.2441 |
0.04706 |
127 |
102 |
19 |
6 |
1459 |
I have this recurring dream that I'm not really fat-free. |
1.2441 |
0.04432 |
127 |
100 |
23 |
4 |
1460 |
You might be at risk of a melt down |
1.2441 |
0.04964 |
127 |
104 |
15 |
8 |
1461 |
I can’t get that music out of my head! |
1.2441 |
0.04837 |
127 |
103 |
17 |
7 |
1462 |
I feel like I'm just a French Vanilla guy in a Rocky Road world. |
1.2441 |
0.04140 |
127 |
98 |
27 |
2 |
1463 |
The SNL skits ruined my life. |
1.2441 |
0.04432 |
127 |
100 |
23 |
4 |
1464 |
I just cannot take being called soft anymore ! |
1.2441 |
0.04837 |
127 |
103 |
17 |
7 |
1465 |
No one on Grindr swipes right when your name is Mister Softee. |
1.2439 |
0.05077 |
123 |
101 |
14 |
8 |
1466 |
...and that's when she accused me of giving her the cold shoulder. |
1.2439 |
0.04944 |
123 |
100 |
16 |
7 |
1467 |
I… I think I’m spiraling, Doc. |
1.2439 |
0.04808 |
123 |
99 |
18 |
6 |
1468 |
It's hard to accept that your mother is broken. |
1.2437 |
0.04916 |
119 |
96 |
17 |
6 |
1469 |
Doctor, I use to look like you” |
1.2437 |
0.04617 |
119 |
94 |
21 |
4 |
1470 |
Tell me when the headaches first started. |
1.2437 |
0.04617 |
119 |
94 |
21 |
4 |
1471 |
In high school other kids called me “cone head” and then in college my girlfriend left me because I was “too vanilla” for her |
1.2437 |
0.05059 |
119 |
97 |
15 |
7 |
1472 |
I really dread Summer |
1.2435 |
0.05031 |
115 |
93 |
16 |
6 |
1473 |
I had a meltdown in my boss’s office today. I was such a mess. |
1.2435 |
0.04718 |
115 |
91 |
20 |
4 |
1474 |
And people think it’s a toupee! |
1.2435 |
0.04553 |
115 |
90 |
22 |
3 |
1475 |
Sometimes I dress as Mrs. Frosty. |
1.2435 |
0.04877 |
115 |
92 |
18 |
5 |
1476 |
The thing is, I'm NOT always ready to serve. . . |
1.2435 |
0.04718 |
115 |
91 |
20 |
4 |
1477 |
I might just as well not exist from the neck down. |
1.2432 |
0.04992 |
111 |
89 |
17 |
5 |
1478 |
I'm having a quarter life crisis. Do I go with "jimmies" or do I go with "sprinkles"? |
1.2432 |
0.04473 |
111 |
86 |
23 |
2 |
1479 |
My last meltdown was a complete mess. |
1.2432 |
0.05154 |
111 |
90 |
15 |
6 |
1480 |
My parents would have preferred I become Doctor Softee. |
1.2432 |
0.04992 |
111 |
89 |
17 |
5 |
1481 |
I am tired of these meltdowns !! |
1.2430 |
0.04940 |
107 |
85 |
18 |
4 |
1482 |
I want the world to accept all my shape and sizes |
1.2427 |
0.04672 |
103 |
80 |
21 |
2 |
1483 |
Take me back to when you were first called soft. |
1.2427 |
0.04871 |
103 |
81 |
19 |
3 |
1484 |
My cousin's the poop emoji |
1.2427 |
0.05766 |
103 |
86 |
9 |
8 |
1485 |
In the dream, everyone is just screaming and staring at me. |
1.2424 |
0.05195 |
99 |
79 |
16 |
4 |
1486 |
Since taking this job I've lost all my good humor. |
1.2424 |
0.05759 |
99 |
82 |
10 |
7 |
1487 |
You say King Kone, but I identify as Dairy Queen. |
1.2424 |
0.04318 |
132 |
104 |
24 |
4 |
1488 |
No, that's a different conehead family |
1.2422 |
0.04929 |
128 |
105 |
15 |
8 |
1489 |
Is it true? Am I really too vanilla? |
1.2422 |
0.04673 |
128 |
103 |
19 |
6 |
1490 |
…and then they gave me a swirly… |
1.2422 |
0.04259 |
128 |
100 |
25 |
3 |
1491 |
It’s just this constant pressure to always feel refreshing. |
1.2422 |
0.04539 |
128 |
102 |
21 |
5 |
1492 |
As you can imagine, being known as Mr. Softie hasn't done wonders for my self-esteem. |
1.2422 |
0.04802 |
128 |
104 |
17 |
7 |
1493 |
I just can't lick this feeling. |
1.2422 |
0.04401 |
128 |
101 |
23 |
4 |
1494 |
It all started when I was just a Dixie Cup... |
1.2419 |
0.04633 |
124 |
99 |
20 |
5 |
1495 |
Hearing the same song on repeat is giving me brain freeze. |
1.2419 |
0.04490 |
124 |
98 |
22 |
4 |
1496 |
I really think I'm on a sugar high. |
1.2419 |
0.04908 |
124 |
101 |
16 |
7 |
1497 |
And then I found out I was frozen yogurt. |
1.2419 |
0.04490 |
124 |
98 |
22 |
4 |
1498 |
I get that my mother is the Dairy Queen but I just want to be accepted for my own achievements. |
1.2419 |
0.04773 |
124 |
100 |
18 |
6 |
1499 |
My wife, Lickity, split. |
1.2417 |
0.04583 |
120 |
95 |
21 |
4 |
1500 |
I'm starting to have anxiety attacks over climate change. |
1.2417 |
0.04583 |
120 |
95 |
21 |
4 |
1501 |
All I ever hear is ‘vanilla privilege.’ |
1.2417 |
0.05020 |
120 |
98 |
15 |
7 |
1502 |
It all started with an SNL skit, years ago... |
1.2417 |
0.04583 |
120 |
95 |
21 |
4 |
1503 |
The lickings. The meltdowns. Can't get them out of my head. |
1.2417 |
0.04733 |
120 |
96 |
19 |
5 |
1504 |
No, I think this is more than just an ice cream headache. |
1.2417 |
0.04583 |
120 |
95 |
21 |
4 |
1505 |
Then she said I was ‘soft in the head’! What do you suppose she meant by that? |
1.2417 |
0.04583 |
120 |
95 |
21 |
4 |
1506 |
'Hmmmm.... I scream.' |
1.2416 |
0.04113 |
149 |
118 |
26 |
5 |
1507 |
So what you’re saying doc is that brain freeze is all in my head? |
1.2416 |
0.04001 |
149 |
117 |
28 |
4 |
1508 |
All the girls I meet just seem interested in my brain. |
1.2414 |
0.04992 |
116 |
94 |
16 |
6 |
1509 |
I just want to talk about my feelings without being called soft. |
1.2414 |
0.04839 |
116 |
93 |
18 |
5 |
1510 |
They SAY they like me as is. But in the end, they always want the sprinkles. |
1.2414 |
0.05140 |
116 |
95 |
14 |
7 |
1511 |
I fear I could be headed for a melt down |
1.2414 |
0.04992 |
116 |
94 |
16 |
6 |
1512 |
I’m so sick of being called soft |
1.2414 |
0.04839 |
116 |
93 |
18 |
5 |
1513 |
She called me a softie. |
1.2411 |
0.04014 |
141 |
110 |
28 |
3 |
1514 |
Waffle cones have ruined my life" |
1.2411 |
0.04952 |
112 |
90 |
17 |
5 |
1515 |
Thanks for keeping the AC cranked. |
1.2411 |
0.04616 |
112 |
88 |
21 |
3 |
1516 |
You told me to chill out. And now this. |
1.2411 |
0.04952 |
112 |
90 |
17 |
5 |
1517 |
But inside I've always felt like a twist. |
1.2407 |
0.04900 |
108 |
86 |
18 |
4 |
1518 |
Dr. Nerfswaddle tried to concentrate on the session, but he couldn't bannish the DQ from his thoughts. |
1.2407 |
0.04337 |
108 |
83 |
24 |
1 |
1519 |
I came to you looking for someone who could lick my chronic
brain freeze. |
1.2406 |
0.04289 |
133 |
105 |
24 |
4 |
1520 |
Give me a minute, brain-freeze. |
1.2406 |
0.04547 |
133 |
107 |
20 |
6 |
1521 |
I feel like I scream |
1.2404 |
0.05202 |
104 |
84 |
15 |
5 |
1522 |
In 3rd grade, they poured syrup on me. |
1.2403 |
0.04640 |
129 |
104 |
19 |
6 |
1523 |
I feel as though I am perpetually on the verge of a meltdown. |
1.2403 |
0.04371 |
129 |
102 |
23 |
4 |
1524 |
I'm just licked. |
1.2400 |
0.05003 |
125 |
103 |
14 |
8 |
1525 |
Kids run way when they see me now. |
1.2400 |
0.04948 |
100 |
79 |
18 |
3 |
1526 |
I’m not sad. I’m hot. |
1.2400 |
0.04311 |
125 |
98 |
24 |
3 |
1527 |
Trauma? Has anyone dipped YOU in chocolate successfully? |
1.2400 |
0.04458 |
125 |
99 |
22 |
4 |
1528 |
The irony is I'm lactose intolerant. |
1.2400 |
0.05707 |
100 |
83 |
10 |
7 |
1529 |
They all think I'm twisted... |
1.2400 |
0.04600 |
125 |
100 |
20 |
5 |
1530 |
Yes, but my childhood was hard. |
1.2400 |
0.05148 |
100 |
80 |
16 |
4 |
1531 |
She said our sex life was too... you know |
1.2400 |
0.04738 |
125 |
101 |
18 |
6 |
1532 |
Can't shake the idea that we are what we eat, doc |
1.2400 |
0.04311 |
125 |
98 |
24 |
3 |
1533 |
I know this is supposed to be a safe space,but every time I lay down I just freeze up. |
1.2397 |
0.04070 |
121 |
93 |
27 |
1 |
1534 |
I just have a soft spot for others. |
1.2397 |
0.04395 |
121 |
95 |
23 |
3 |
1535 |
I guess I'm just an old Softee. |
1.2397 |
0.04698 |
121 |
97 |
19 |
5 |
1536 |
I have this phobia when the temperature goes above 32. |
1.2397 |
0.04549 |
121 |
96 |
21 |
4 |
1537 |
Isn't it obvious? My father was cold and my mom was a softie. |
1.2397 |
0.04549 |
121 |
96 |
21 |
4 |
1538 |
That's right ladies, it actually DOES taste like cream |
1.2397 |
0.04698 |
121 |
97 |
19 |
5 |
1539 |
I don’t know doc, I just feel that I will always be a single |
1.2396 |
0.05490 |
96 |
78 |
13 |
5 |
1540 |
I'm licked! |
1.2393 |
0.04646 |
117 |
93 |
20 |
4 |
1541 |
I keep having that recurring dream where I’m melting. |
1.2393 |
0.04485 |
117 |
92 |
22 |
3 |
1542 |
The brain freeze never stops |
1.2393 |
0.04646 |
117 |
93 |
20 |
4 |
1543 |
I just wanted to taste it. |
1.2393 |
0.04485 |
117 |
92 |
22 |
3 |
1544 |
I suspect my fantasies will sound a bit vanilla. |
1.2393 |
0.04953 |
117 |
95 |
16 |
6 |
1545 |
I just feel like I'm licked. |
1.2393 |
0.04317 |
117 |
91 |
24 |
2 |
1546 |
So I’m left-twirled and not right-twirled … why is that so bad? |
1.2393 |
0.04802 |
117 |
94 |
18 |
5 |
1547 |
I can’t help thinking there must be more to life than searching for the perfect topping” |
1.2391 |
0.04977 |
92 |
72 |
18 |
2 |
1548 |
I have trouble warming up to people. |
1.2391 |
0.04731 |
92 |
71 |
20 |
1 |
1549 |
I'm tired of keeping a cool head. I just want to have a meltdown, you know? |
1.2389 |
0.05374 |
113 |
94 |
11 |
8 |
1550 |
Doc, I think I’m about to have a meltdown. |
1.2389 |
0.04913 |
113 |
91 |
17 |
5 |
1551 |
Sure, I hate summer, but kids are the worst. |
1.2389 |
0.04580 |
113 |
89 |
21 |
3 |
1552 |
I feel that my biggest anxieties stem from the social stigma I get for being a lobbyist for a fracking company. |
1.2389 |
0.04913 |
113 |
91 |
17 |
5 |
1553 |
I mean, who calls their kid Mr Soft Whip? Who does that? |
1.2389 |
0.05071 |
113 |
92 |
15 |
6 |
1554 |
I do feel like we’re making progress. It’s just that in real life, my brain freezes, and I can’t respond. |
1.2389 |
0.04749 |
113 |
90 |
19 |
4 |
1555 |
Sometimes I just wanna scream. |
1.2388 |
0.04517 |
134 |
108 |
20 |
6 |
1556 |
I don’t know why I keep getting these brain freeze things. |
1.2388 |
0.04639 |
134 |
109 |
18 |
7 |
1557 |
You try being Mister Softee in this hard, hard world |
1.2388 |
0.04639 |
134 |
109 |
18 |
7 |
1558 |
I feel lactose intolerant. |
1.2385 |
0.04496 |
109 |
85 |
22 |
2 |
1559 |
I'm so tired of being just plain vanilla. |
1.2385 |
0.05031 |
109 |
88 |
16 |
5 |
1560 |
Besides the chills, I feel like I'm going soft in the head. |
1.2385 |
0.05031 |
109 |
88 |
16 |
5 |
1561 |
I can't shake this cold and lonely feeling. |
1.2385 |
0.04859 |
109 |
87 |
18 |
4 |
1562 |
When the coneheads became famous I thought I'd finally be accepted. |
1.2385 |
0.04859 |
109 |
87 |
18 |
4 |
1563 |
The thing is, I really am from France. |
1.2385 |
0.05197 |
109 |
89 |
14 |
6 |
1564 |
I fear I'm on the verge of a major melt-down |
1.2385 |
0.04341 |
130 |
103 |
23 |
4 |
1565 |
I feel anxious around kids! |
1.2381 |
0.05158 |
105 |
85 |
15 |
5 |
1566 |
Girls don’t think I’m good for them. |
1.2381 |
0.04977 |
105 |
84 |
17 |
4 |
1567 |
It's just that deep down I'm a hardass. |
1.2381 |
0.04390 |
105 |
81 |
23 |
1 |
1568 |
I wear a few rainbow sprinkles and everyone thinks I’m gay… |
1.2381 |
0.04704 |
126 |
102 |
18 |
6 |
1569 |
... but I identify as an acorn |
1.2381 |
0.04977 |
105 |
84 |
17 |
4 |
1570 |
I wanted to be a single scoop but my parents insisted I be a swirl! |
1.2377 |
0.04664 |
122 |
98 |
19 |
5 |
1571 |
She left me for a Buster Bar. |
1.2376 |
0.04905 |
101 |
80 |
18 |
3 |
1572 |
It all started with the to go cup. |
1.2376 |
0.04483 |
101 |
78 |
22 |
1 |
1573 |
I’m still waiting to get scooped up by that special someone. |
1.2376 |
0.04699 |
101 |
79 |
20 |
2 |
1574 |
After my parents split, I went a little soft in the head. |
1.2373 |
0.04766 |
118 |
95 |
18 |
5 |
1575 |
I know my parents won’t approve, but, she’s a dish! |
1.2373 |
0.04611 |
118 |
94 |
20 |
4 |
1576 |
It's the same dream over and over again . . . they're all screaming for ice cream. |
1.2373 |
0.04611 |
118 |
94 |
20 |
4 |
1577 |
No doctor, not even one lick. |
1.2373 |
0.04113 |
118 |
91 |
26 |
1 |
1578 |
I feel like I’m heading for a meltdown. |
1.2373 |
0.04915 |
118 |
96 |
16 |
6 |
1579 |
She left me for a gelato. |
1.2373 |
0.04766 |
118 |
95 |
18 |
5 |
1580 |
So you can see why I asked for a doctor who is lactose intolerant. |
1.2373 |
0.04611 |
118 |
94 |
20 |
4 |
1581 |
My girlfriend just broke up with me... But I guess it serves me right. |
1.2371 |
0.05029 |
97 |
77 |
17 |
3 |
1582 |
I scream, they scream, then we all scream. |
1.2371 |
0.05439 |
97 |
79 |
13 |
5 |
1583 |
I’m not soft. I’m temperature dependent. |
1.2371 |
0.04810 |
97 |
76 |
19 |
2 |
1584 |
The bullies keep licking me. |
1.2370 |
0.04362 |
135 |
108 |
22 |
5 |
1585 |
My last shrink told me, "Sometimes an ice cream cone is only an ice cream cone." |
1.2368 |
0.04545 |
114 |
90 |
21 |
3 |
1586 |
All I can think about is rainbow sprinkles. |
1.2368 |
0.05331 |
114 |
95 |
11 |
8 |
1587 |
Do you have something for brain freeze? |
1.2368 |
0.04147 |
152 |
122 |
24 |
6 |
1588 |
Everytime the temperature rises, I have a meltdown |
1.2368 |
0.04370 |
114 |
89 |
23 |
2 |
1589 |
I met this woman who's so hot . . . |
1.2366 |
0.05162 |
93 |
74 |
16 |
3 |
1590 |
Ben and Jerry rejected me. |
1.2366 |
0.04930 |
93 |
73 |
18 |
2 |
1591 |
Sure I trust you, doc, but I've been told all my life that there's just no cure for a head cold. |
1.2364 |
0.04820 |
110 |
88 |
18 |
4 |
1592 |
I had that dream again, where I see my head melting on the sidewalk. |
1.2364 |
0.04820 |
110 |
88 |
18 |
4 |
1593 |
My wife still thinks I’m a dip. |
1.2364 |
0.04269 |
110 |
85 |
24 |
1 |
1594 |
They promised me the "curl on top" would attract women. |
1.2364 |
0.04644 |
110 |
87 |
20 |
3 |
1595 |
Brain freezes are no fun, Doc,
I'v gotta tell ya! |
1.2364 |
0.04990 |
110 |
89 |
16 |
5 |
1596 |
So Doc, What’s the scoop? |
1.2364 |
0.04820 |
110 |
88 |
18 |
4 |
1597 |
Sometimes I just feel so....cold. |
1.2364 |
0.04460 |
110 |
86 |
22 |
2 |
1598 |
I was only trying to give him a cold shoulder. |
1.2364 |
0.04644 |
110 |
87 |
20 |
3 |
1599 |
... And to top it off, everyone just assumes I'm bad at tennis ... |
1.2364 |
0.04644 |
110 |
87 |
20 |
3 |
1600 |
... and was when I worked for Ben & Jerrys |
1.2362 |
0.04803 |
127 |
104 |
16 |
7 |
1601 |
Global warming news is all about icebergs and turtles. What about me?! |
1.2362 |
0.04671 |
127 |
103 |
18 |
6 |
1602 |
I scream all day! Not sure what's wrong with me? |
1.2358 |
0.04749 |
106 |
84 |
19 |
3 |
1603 |
But when I cry, it *is* spilt milk. |
1.2358 |
0.04935 |
106 |
85 |
17 |
4 |
1604 |
I never get a second date. I think it's my plain vanilla personality. |
1.2358 |
0.04749 |
106 |
84 |
19 |
3 |
1605 |
And then she said she wanted to lick me. |
1.2358 |
0.05114 |
106 |
86 |
15 |
5 |
1606 |
It's hard, you know, when so many people are lactose intolerant. |
1.2358 |
0.05114 |
106 |
86 |
15 |
5 |
1607 |
Sometimes I think I might just melt away. |
1.2358 |
0.05114 |
106 |
86 |
15 |
5 |
1608 |
I think I’m suffering from seasonal depression. |
1.2358 |
0.05286 |
106 |
87 |
13 |
6 |
1609 |
I had cold feet about coming here but it was all in my head. |
1.2358 |
0.05114 |
106 |
86 |
15 |
5 |
1610 |
No matter what everyone tells me, my problems just don’t melt away |
1.2358 |
0.04935 |
106 |
85 |
17 |
4 |
1611 |
When my head starts melting I get brain freeze. |
1.2358 |
0.04332 |
123 |
97 |
23 |
3 |
1612 |
What do you mean, I’m sublimating? |
1.2358 |
0.04909 |
123 |
101 |
15 |
7 |
1613 |
She keeps ordering waffles and it makes me feel plain |
1.2358 |
0.04332 |
123 |
97 |
23 |
3 |
1614 |
I just feel like I’m always on the verge of a meltdown. |
1.2353 |
0.05058 |
102 |
82 |
16 |
4 |
1615 |
I’d always wanted to be one of the cool kids. |
1.2353 |
0.04658 |
102 |
80 |
20 |
2 |
1616 |
Sometimes I feel I am just a confection to her... |
1.2353 |
0.04457 |
136 |
110 |
20 |
6 |
1617 |
No, it’s not me. You’re thinking of Dan Aykroyd |
1.2353 |
0.04658 |
102 |
80 |
20 |
2 |
1618 |
For the last time, it’s not seasonal effective disorder. |
1.2353 |
0.05428 |
102 |
84 |
12 |
6 |
1619 |
I just worry she’s too hot for me |
1.2353 |
0.04577 |
119 |
95 |
20 |
4 |
1620 |
My greatest fear is global warming. |
1.2348 |
0.04670 |
132 |
108 |
17 |
7 |
1621 |
I have this recurring dream that I’m running down a sidewalk. |
1.2348 |
0.05142 |
115 |
95 |
13 |
7 |
1622 |
Everyone tells me it's all in my head. |
1.2348 |
0.04676 |
115 |
92 |
19 |
4 |
1623 |
Lately, it seems as though I am experiencing brain freeze. |
1.2348 |
0.04991 |
115 |
94 |
15 |
6 |
1624 |
My “Mr. Softserve” title doesn’t help in the dating game. |
1.2348 |
0.04676 |
115 |
92 |
19 |
4 |
1625 |
Females aren’t into sweet… I need to be more like Rocky Road. |
1.2348 |
0.04510 |
115 |
91 |
21 |
3 |
1626 |
I don't know, doc, every time I try to talk to her, I just freeze up. |
1.2348 |
0.04836 |
115 |
93 |
17 |
5 |
1627 |
I can only seem to make fair weather friends. |
1.2347 |
0.05766 |
98 |
82 |
9 |
7 |
1628 |
Calling me 'soft' is one thing, but finding out I was just her 'flavor of the month' is making my stomach churn. |
1.2345 |
0.04378 |
145 |
118 |
20 |
7 |
1629 |
I had one meltdown and they froze me out! |
1.2344 |
0.04503 |
128 |
103 |
20 |
5 |
1630 |
And I'll never be able to wear a fedora. |
1.2344 |
0.04503 |
128 |
103 |
20 |
5 |
1631 |
Doc, I'm melting under the pressure at work. |
1.2342 |
0.04607 |
111 |
88 |
20 |
3 |
1632 |
What else would I be talking about. |
1.2342 |
0.05112 |
111 |
91 |
14 |
6 |
1633 |
So anyway, that's when they started calling me Mr. Softee |
1.2342 |
0.04949 |
111 |
90 |
16 |
5 |
1634 |
She said I'm soft in the head. |
1.2342 |
0.04781 |
111 |
89 |
18 |
4 |
1635 |
The Haberdasher had no hats that fit. He suggested dipping it in chocolate. |
1.2342 |
0.04949 |
111 |
90 |
16 |
5 |
1636 |
My father never wanted a swirl. |
1.2342 |
0.05112 |
111 |
91 |
14 |
6 |
1637 |
I dunno doc… people are always telling me I’m living a soft serve life, but these days it feels really hard serve. |
1.2342 |
0.04607 |
111 |
88 |
20 |
3 |
1638 |
And always her sarcastic comeback,
'Don't have a meltdown!' |
1.2340 |
0.05332 |
94 |
76 |
14 |
4 |
1639 |
In my dreams, I hear the song. |
1.2339 |
0.04596 |
124 |
100 |
19 |
5 |
1640 |
I'm worried I come off as cold... |
1.2336 |
0.04893 |
107 |
86 |
17 |
4 |
1641 |
Yes and I've also been getting these brain freezes Doc |
1.2336 |
0.04710 |
107 |
85 |
19 |
3 |
1642 |
My family is always so cold to me. |
1.2336 |
0.04519 |
107 |
84 |
21 |
2 |
1643 |
But I’m more than vanilla…I’m French Vanilla. |
1.2336 |
0.04519 |
107 |
84 |
21 |
2 |
1644 |
You have to help me doc, I’m having a meltdown. |
1.2336 |
0.04893 |
107 |
86 |
17 |
4 |
1645 |
Oftentimes I feel like a big softy. |
1.2333 |
0.04543 |
120 |
96 |
20 |
4 |
1646 |
My life is so vanilla. |
1.2333 |
0.04543 |
120 |
96 |
20 |
4 |
1647 |
I don't wanna be Mr. Softy anymore. |
1.2333 |
0.04543 |
120 |
96 |
20 |
4 |
1648 |
I've taken just about all the licks I can take. |
1.2333 |
0.04984 |
120 |
99 |
14 |
7 |
1649 |
My wife wants to leave me, and the dog wants to eat me. |
1.2333 |
0.04841 |
120 |
98 |
16 |
6 |
1650 |
Every time I lick a human I get brain freeze |
1.2333 |
0.04694 |
120 |
97 |
18 |
5 |
1651 |
Summer is hell. |
1.2333 |
0.04694 |
120 |
97 |
18 |
5 |
1652 |
My family thrived in the summer. |
1.2330 |
0.04820 |
103 |
82 |
18 |
3 |
1653 |
She wants me to try new things, you know...with chocolate or whipped cream. But, I just can't seem to get past being plain vanilla. |
1.2330 |
0.05014 |
103 |
83 |
16 |
4 |
1654 |
I keep having this nightmare where I’m driving my truck and a whole neighborhood of kids are chasing me down the block. |
1.2330 |
0.04618 |
103 |
81 |
20 |
2 |
1655 |
I understand you specialize in scream therapy. |
1.2330 |
0.04407 |
103 |
80 |
22 |
1 |
1656 |
I didn’t think the brain freeze would last this long. |
1.2330 |
0.04820 |
103 |
82 |
18 |
3 |
1657 |
Why do I feel like she wants to bite my head off all the time |
1.2330 |
0.05380 |
103 |
85 |
12 |
6 |
1658 |
I have a brain freeze |
1.2328 |
0.04798 |
116 |
94 |
17 |
5 |
1659 |
I walk around feeling like I have perpetual brain freeze |
1.2328 |
0.05101 |
116 |
96 |
13 |
7 |
1660 |
I thought life was going to be a piece of cake..." |
1.2328 |
0.04952 |
116 |
95 |
15 |
6 |
1661 |
I know, I know, I’m too soft. |
1.2328 |
0.04640 |
116 |
93 |
19 |
4 |
1662 |
My thoughts are always swirling. Sometimes dark. Sometimes light. Sometimes a mix of the two…” |
1.2328 |
0.05101 |
116 |
96 |
13 |
7 |
1663 |
It started the first time I was dipped in chocolate. |
1.2326 |
0.04606 |
129 |
105 |
18 |
6 |
1664 |
I was not always this way---I was a real hot head |
1.2326 |
0.04335 |
129 |
103 |
22 |
4 |
1665 |
I can't seem to get the song out of my head. |
1.2321 |
0.04909 |
112 |
91 |
16 |
5 |
1666 |
I’ve been having the giant tongue dream again… |
1.2321 |
0.04743 |
112 |
90 |
18 |
4 |
1667 |
My parents had a hard life. |
1.2321 |
0.04743 |
112 |
90 |
18 |
4 |
1668 |
She said my apartment was too cold |
1.2321 |
0.04743 |
112 |
90 |
18 |
4 |
1669 |
I asked for a combover, but they gave me a cone over. |
1.2321 |
0.04743 |
112 |
90 |
18 |
4 |
1670 |
I only wear it because I don’t like people starring at my hair. |
1.2321 |
0.04743 |
112 |
90 |
18 |
4 |
1671 |
And he just kept licking! |
1.2321 |
0.04390 |
112 |
88 |
22 |
2 |
1672 |
I'm not soft. It's just hard out there. |
1.2321 |
0.05071 |
112 |
92 |
14 |
6 |
1673 |
I can't take that label anymore. I mean... Do YOU think i'm soft, Doctor? |
1.2321 |
0.04743 |
112 |
90 |
18 |
4 |
1674 |
I've tried to practice mindfulness,but my thoughts continue to swirl. |
1.2318 |
0.04036 |
151 |
121 |
25 |
5 |
1675 |
People accuse me of being a softee. |
1.2318 |
0.04351 |
151 |
124 |
19 |
8 |
1676 |
I have a drinking problem. |
1.2316 |
0.04838 |
95 |
75 |
18 |
2 |
1677 |
My wife tells me I'm too vanilla. |
1.2316 |
0.05065 |
95 |
76 |
16 |
3 |
1678 |
Then she dropped me - right on my head! And then there was this child screaming. Endless screaming. And no one ever came for me. |
1.2316 |
0.05489 |
95 |
78 |
12 |
5 |
1679 |
I worry a lot about global warming. |
1.2315 |
0.04853 |
108 |
87 |
17 |
4 |
1680 |
The last straw was when she insisted I do hot yoga with her. |
1.2315 |
0.04671 |
108 |
86 |
19 |
3 |
1681 |
Sundaes are the hardest. |
1.2315 |
0.04853 |
108 |
87 |
17 |
4 |
1682 |
Doc, why do I keep getting brain freezes? |
1.2315 |
0.04482 |
108 |
85 |
21 |
2 |
1683 |
See?? Even YOU think I'm soft in the head! |
1.2315 |
0.05197 |
108 |
89 |
13 |
6 |
1684 |
And then I found sprinkles on the back of her head... |
1.2315 |
0.05361 |
108 |
90 |
11 |
7 |
1685 |
Don’t try to candy coat this, Doc. |
1.2315 |
0.05028 |
108 |
88 |
15 |
5 |
1686 |
My tennis game went south when I got a soft serve. |
1.2314 |
0.04509 |
121 |
97 |
20 |
4 |
1687 |
The continual looks of lust get old--I am not a piece of meat.... |
1.2314 |
0.04805 |
121 |
99 |
16 |
6 |
1688 |
Don't worry, doc: I'm not about to have a meltdown - not in a week of Sundaes! |
1.2314 |
0.04805 |
121 |
99 |
16 |
6 |
1689 |
My whole life is melting before my eyes. |
1.2308 |
0.04779 |
104 |
83 |
18 |
3 |
1690 |
Thanks to our work I have decided to let cooler heads prevail. |
1.2308 |
0.05155 |
104 |
85 |
14 |
5 |
1691 |
If you just keep it under 32 degrees I’ll be fine. |
1.2308 |
0.04779 |
104 |
83 |
18 |
3 |
1692 |
I am a product of Dairy Queen. Am I gay or trans? |
1.2308 |
0.05651 |
91 |
75 |
11 |
5 |
1693 |
I found that keeping your cool at all times is exhausting |
1.2308 |
0.04272 |
117 |
92 |
23 |
2 |
1694 |
No one believes me that brain freezes are real. |
1.2308 |
0.04970 |
104 |
84 |
16 |
4 |
1695 |
I've got something heavy on my mind and I just can't lick it. |
1.2308 |
0.04970 |
104 |
84 |
16 |
4 |
1696 |
I think I'm becoming lactose intolerant |
1.2308 |
0.05061 |
117 |
97 |
13 |
7 |
1697 |
Can you lick this problem? |
1.2308 |
0.04761 |
117 |
95 |
17 |
5 |
1698 |
The other coneheads look down on me since I got a perm. |
1.2308 |
0.05205 |
117 |
98 |
11 |
8 |
1699 |
I'm not the softee everyone makes me out to be. |
1.2308 |
0.05431 |
91 |
74 |
13 |
4 |
1700 |
I can't stop this swirling effect |
1.2308 |
0.04970 |
104 |
84 |
16 |
4 |
1701 |
In Sweden I'd be given social benefits for Ice Cream Syndrome minority. |
1.2308 |
0.04441 |
117 |
93 |
21 |
3 |
1702 |
The last time I took a dip in chocolate, I was shamed for using blackface. |
1.2308 |
0.04573 |
130 |
106 |
18 |
6 |
1703 |
So here’s the twist, doc… |
1.2308 |
0.04579 |
104 |
82 |
20 |
2 |
1704 |
Well, I'm just tired of being soft serve. |
1.2308 |
0.04779 |
104 |
83 |
18 |
3 |
1705 |
My last therapist wouldn’t let me anywhere near their furniture. What is this, suede? |
1.2308 |
0.05431 |
91 |
74 |
13 |
4 |
1706 |
She asks where my heads at and I just freeze up! |
1.2308 |
0.04761 |
117 |
95 |
17 |
5 |
1707 |
I had a meltdown. |
1.2308 |
0.05155 |
104 |
85 |
14 |
5 |
1708 |
I just won the U.S. Open but they STILL call me soft serve. |
1.2302 |
0.04241 |
126 |
100 |
23 |
3 |
1709 |
My brother always got 2 scoops |
1.2302 |
0.04802 |
126 |
104 |
15 |
7 |
1710 |
They're all fair-weather friends. |
1.2301 |
0.05030 |
113 |
93 |
14 |
6 |
1711 |
I have chronic brain freeze. |
1.2301 |
0.04534 |
113 |
90 |
20 |
3 |
1712 |
Am I a racist for obsessing about how crunchy chocolate-topped scoops might have longer cones? |
1.2301 |
0.05030 |
113 |
93 |
14 |
6 |
1713 |
The movie was one thing, but it was the SNL skits that created the lasting damage. |
1.2301 |
0.05184 |
113 |
94 |
12 |
7 |
1714 |
You meant to say you want to pick my brain, right?!”
(Note: I would like to italicize the word "pick" only, if that is an option. Thanks.) |
1.2301 |
0.04534 |
113 |
90 |
20 |
3 |
1715 |
My wife says I'm nothing but a smoothie. |
1.2301 |
0.04705 |
113 |
91 |
18 |
4 |
1716 |
Doctor, my brain is melting |
1.2301 |
0.04870 |
113 |
92 |
16 |
5 |
1717 |
My wife assured me soft-serve was not going to be a deal breaker. |
1.2301 |
0.04870 |
113 |
92 |
16 |
5 |
1718 |
People keep addressing me as Mr. Cohn. |
1.2301 |
0.04870 |
113 |
92 |
16 |
5 |
1719 |
If only they hadn't named me "Dairy Queen." |
1.2301 |
0.04870 |
113 |
92 |
16 |
5 |
1720 |
I got quite a licking when I returned home from the Barber Shop. |
1.2301 |
0.05030 |
113 |
93 |
14 |
6 |
1721 |
I'm having trouble expressing my primal ice cream. |
1.2301 |
0.03977 |
113 |
87 |
26 |
0 |
1722 |
I thought SNL would bring back the cone-heads |
1.2301 |
0.04870 |
113 |
92 |
16 |
5 |
1723 |
And Dad said I wasn’t sprinkle worthy… |
1.2301 |
0.04705 |
113 |
91 |
18 |
4 |
1724 |
Lately, it’s been a rocky road. |
1.2301 |
0.04356 |
113 |
89 |
22 |
2 |
1725 |
It’s been so stressful, Doc. My mind is always in a state of McFlurry |
1.2301 |
0.04356 |
113 |
89 |
22 |
2 |
1726 |
Climate anxiety is real |
1.2301 |
0.05030 |
113 |
93 |
14 |
6 |
1727 |
I'm vulnerable to meltdowns. |
1.2300 |
0.04462 |
100 |
78 |
21 |
1 |
1728 |
Dating has been a rocky road. She said I'm too vanilla! |
1.2300 |
0.05291 |
100 |
82 |
13 |
5 |
1729 |
I think I have a brain freeze |
1.2295 |
0.04769 |
122 |
100 |
16 |
6 |
1730 |
It's too hot for me to pretend anymore. |
1.2294 |
0.04633 |
109 |
87 |
19 |
3 |
1731 |
This hair transplant has been a disaster! |
1.2294 |
0.04986 |
109 |
89 |
15 |
5 |
1732 |
I can’t take it anymore. Everyone says I’m so vanilla. |
1.2294 |
0.04250 |
109 |
85 |
23 |
1 |
1733 |
I practice shrinkflation for those suffering from smaller serving sizes this year |
1.2294 |
0.04633 |
109 |
87 |
19 |
3 |
1734 |
I feel like I'm getting soft. |
1.2294 |
0.04446 |
109 |
86 |
21 |
2 |
1735 |
Every time I try to talk to a good-looking gal, I literally freeze |
1.2294 |
0.05154 |
109 |
90 |
13 |
6 |
1736 |
They say I’m too soft |
1.2294 |
0.04633 |
109 |
87 |
19 |
3 |
1737 |
There's just no place for a plain vanilla guy anymore. |
1.2294 |
0.04446 |
109 |
86 |
21 |
2 |
1738 |
I just can't seem to get the threat of global warming out of my head |
1.2294 |
0.04986 |
109 |
89 |
15 |
5 |
1739 |
No, seriously…how else am I supposed to take it when she calls me “Mister Softee”? |
1.2294 |
0.04986 |
109 |
89 |
15 |
5 |
1740 |
I’m a softie. Is that so wrong? |
1.2292 |
0.05017 |
96 |
77 |
16 |
3 |
1741 |
Van life just isn't for me. |
1.2292 |
0.05231 |
96 |
78 |
14 |
4 |
1742 |
She said I've lost my good humor and wants a split. |
1.2288 |
0.05164 |
118 |
99 |
11 |
8 |
1743 |
I keep having the same dream. The president has one of me in each hand, and I can see my terror reflected in his aviators. |
1.2288 |
0.05022 |
118 |
98 |
13 |
7 |
1744 |
Sorry, what was I saying? Brain freeze. |
1.2288 |
0.04876 |
118 |
97 |
15 |
6 |
1745 |
Doc, I just found out that I'm lactose intolerant. |
1.2288 |
0.04725 |
118 |
96 |
17 |
5 |
1746 |
Doctor… I just don’t understand why my brain is in a constant freeze… |
1.2288 |
0.04408 |
118 |
94 |
21 |
3 |
1747 |
I used to be the cool guy. Now people just look at me and say they gain 20 pounds. That's pressure on a whole new level, doc. |
1.2288 |
0.04725 |
118 |
96 |
17 |
5 |
1748 |
I feel like I'm just so VANILLA, you know? |
1.2286 |
0.04928 |
105 |
85 |
16 |
4 |
1749 |
It’s just that I do all the work, and the Dairy QUEEN gets all the credit! |
1.2286 |
0.05286 |
105 |
87 |
12 |
6 |
1750 |
The music follows me everywhere. |
1.2286 |
0.04738 |
105 |
84 |
18 |
3 |
1751 |
I have a terrifying and repeating nightmare about global warming. |
1.2286 |
0.05110 |
105 |
86 |
14 |
5 |
1752 |
I'm trying to do my job and then suddenly my brain just freezes. |
1.2286 |
0.05110 |
105 |
86 |
14 |
5 |
1753 |
I think I'm soft in the head. |
1.2283 |
0.04060 |
127 |
100 |
25 |
2 |
1754 |
How come you keep a giant fried egg in your office? |
1.2283 |
0.05146 |
127 |
108 |
9 |
10 |
1755 |
I'm retiring, but can't decide on the Arctic or Antarctic. Does that make me bipolar? |
1.2283 |
0.05150 |
92 |
74 |
15 |
3 |
1756 |
My mother was also a softie. |
1.2281 |
0.04323 |
114 |
90 |
22 |
2 |
1757 |
Why do people scream when they could just ask quietly? |
1.2281 |
0.04668 |
114 |
92 |
18 |
4 |
1758 |
Good humor? Good humor! That's the problem, isn't it, doc? That's always been the problem. |
1.2281 |
0.04831 |
114 |
93 |
16 |
5 |
1759 |
Whenever I go outside, I start to melt down |
1.2281 |
0.04499 |
114 |
91 |
20 |
3 |
1760 |
Well, I think you're just an ol' softee. |
1.2281 |
0.04831 |
114 |
93 |
16 |
5 |
1761 |
They focus in my coldness, not my sweetness. |
1.2281 |
0.04499 |
114 |
91 |
20 |
3 |
1762 |
She said she’s had it with the soft serve” |
1.2281 |
0.04831 |
114 |
93 |
16 |
5 |
1763 |
So, I used the Viagra, and she still called me 'Mr. Softee." |
1.2281 |
0.04990 |
114 |
94 |
14 |
6 |
1764 |
I just feel like life is licking me. |
1.2281 |
0.04668 |
114 |
92 |
18 |
4 |
1765 |
How would you like to be told that 'soft serve' refers to a senior's tennis tournament? |
1.2281 |
0.04831 |
114 |
93 |
16 |
5 |
1766 |
I thought I was an ice cream cone. |
1.2281 |
0.04323 |
114 |
90 |
22 |
2 |
1767 |
She's on diet, again! |
1.2281 |
0.04668 |
114 |
92 |
18 |
4 |
1768 |
Is this conversation under the cone of silence? |
1.2277 |
0.04850 |
101 |
81 |
17 |
3 |
1769 |
Maybe I don’t want to be a king cone. |
1.2277 |
0.05243 |
101 |
83 |
13 |
5 |
1770 |
Doc, my thoughts won't stop spiralling. |
1.2276 |
0.04443 |
123 |
99 |
20 |
4 |
1771 |
Even my wife can't tolerate me. |
1.2273 |
0.04595 |
110 |
88 |
19 |
3 |
1772 |
If only I'd picked the sugar cone . . . |
1.2273 |
0.04410 |
110 |
87 |
21 |
2 |
1773 |
My life is swirling out of control. |
1.2273 |
0.04014 |
110 |
85 |
25 |
0 |
1774 |
Everyone keeps telling me to chill, but I feel like I'm about to have a melt-down |
1.2273 |
0.04773 |
110 |
89 |
17 |
4 |
1775 |
Before I knew it, she left me for an older guy, a popsicle?. |
1.2273 |
0.04773 |
110 |
89 |
17 |
4 |
1776 |
I'm really getting worried about this global warming thing. |
1.2273 |
0.04595 |
110 |
88 |
19 |
3 |
1777 |
Summers make me so sad! |
1.2273 |
0.04246 |
132 |
106 |
22 |
4 |
1778 |
I keep waiting for the sprinkles that never came. |
1.2273 |
0.04773 |
110 |
89 |
17 |
4 |
1779 |
Nobody is looking for soft skills anymore. |
1.2269 |
0.04535 |
119 |
96 |
19 |
4 |
1780 |
People keep telling me that I’ve gone soft in the head! |
1.2269 |
0.04375 |
119 |
95 |
21 |
3 |
1781 |
I don't think I can take and more licks! |
1.2269 |
0.04535 |
119 |
96 |
19 |
4 |
1782 |
I hate that damn tune. |
1.2269 |
0.04689 |
119 |
97 |
17 |
5 |
1783 |
Therapist: "I see you have an ice cream head. How does that make you feel?"
Ice Cream Head: "Well, it's a rocky road, but I'm trying to stay cool!" 🍦😄 |
1.2269 |
0.04535 |
119 |
96 |
19 |
4 |
1784 |
She wants us to take a beach vacation... |
1.2268 |
0.05386 |
97 |
80 |
12 |
5 |
1785 |
'It's all in my head?' That's the best you can do? Of course it's all in my head. |
1.2268 |
0.05771 |
97 |
82 |
8 |
7 |
1786 |
Come to think of it, I guess I’ve always identified as more of a bowl than a cone. |
1.2268 |
0.05386 |
97 |
80 |
12 |
5 |
1787 |
My waking nightmare is being chased down the block. |
1.2268 |
0.05386 |
97 |
80 |
12 |
5 |
1788 |
Sprinkles? Jimmies? |
1.2264 |
0.04886 |
106 |
86 |
16 |
4 |
1789 |
I’ve been licked all my life - first my dad, then the school bullies, now everyone I meet! |
1.2264 |
0.05066 |
106 |
87 |
14 |
5 |
1790 |
Guess I've been a softie my whole life. |
1.2264 |
0.05066 |
106 |
87 |
14 |
5 |
1791 |
I dreamt they dipped my head in a vat of chocolate. |
1.2264 |
0.04503 |
106 |
84 |
20 |
2 |
1792 |
I keep having nightmares of being chased by a McDonald's worker. |
1.2264 |
0.05240 |
106 |
88 |
12 |
6 |
1793 |
Enjoy it before it melts.
Life. |
1.2264 |
0.04886 |
106 |
86 |
16 |
4 |
1794 |
I’ve had thoughts about topping myself |
1.2264 |
0.04698 |
106 |
85 |
18 |
3 |
1795 |
Keep a cool head, they said |
1.2264 |
0.04299 |
106 |
83 |
22 |
1 |
1796 |
...and that's how I had my first meltdown. |
1.2264 |
0.05066 |
106 |
87 |
14 |
5 |
1797 |
They said I'd gone soft. |
1.2261 |
0.04464 |
115 |
92 |
20 |
3 |
1798 |
Nobody wants plain vanilla any more. |
1.2261 |
0.04631 |
115 |
93 |
18 |
4 |
1799 |
It all started as a simple brain freeze; what's next, sprinkles? |
1.2261 |
0.04950 |
115 |
95 |
14 |
6 |
1800 |
The change of season is tough. |
1.2261 |
0.04793 |
115 |
94 |
16 |
5 |
1801 |
My wife tells me I’m too soft. |
1.2261 |
0.04631 |
115 |
93 |
18 |
4 |
1802 |
I started out as an ordinary conehead and then I froze. |
1.2261 |
0.04464 |
115 |
92 |
20 |
3 |
1803 |
Even when I was little, they called me Mr. Softy |
1.2261 |
0.04631 |
115 |
93 |
18 |
4 |
1804 |
I’d like to expand my horizons. But all my friends just want to meet me at DQ. |
1.2261 |
0.04793 |
115 |
94 |
16 |
5 |
1805 |
My head swirls just thinking about your question. |
1.2261 |
0.04793 |
115 |
94 |
16 |
5 |
1806 |
I struggle with thoughts of melting myself. |
1.2258 |
0.04866 |
93 |
74 |
17 |
2 |
1807 |
I scream, you scream, we all scream... but what does any of it mean? |
1.2258 |
0.05325 |
93 |
76 |
13 |
4 |
1808 |
My wife keeps calling me Mister Softee |
1.2258 |
0.04260 |
124 |
99 |
22 |
3 |
1809 |
I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep a cool head. |
1.2258 |
0.04411 |
124 |
100 |
20 |
4 |
1810 |
My father tells me I’m soft. |
1.2258 |
0.04411 |
124 |
100 |
20 |
4 |
1811 |
Well Mr. Cone, this is certainly the most severe case of Brain-freeze that I have encountered. |
1.2256 |
0.04218 |
133 |
107 |
22 |
4 |
1812 |
The screaming has finally taken its toll. |
1.2255 |
0.04808 |
102 |
82 |
17 |
3 |
1813 |
My eyes are down here. |
1.2255 |
0.04602 |
102 |
81 |
19 |
2 |
1814 |
Recently, I've felt frozen in time. |
1.2255 |
0.04602 |
102 |
81 |
19 |
2 |
1815 |
My wife complains I'm too much of a softy. |
1.2255 |
0.04602 |
102 |
81 |
19 |
2 |
1816 |
Mr. Softee” is my dad’s name. I wish sometimes they would just call me Steve. |
1.2255 |
0.05729 |
102 |
87 |
7 |
8 |
1817 |
It’s just that… sometimes I want to be licked too |
1.2255 |
0.04808 |
102 |
82 |
17 |
3 |
1818 |
Everyone talks about ice cream headaches, but no one talks about ice cream heartache. |
1.2252 |
0.04904 |
111 |
91 |
15 |
5 |
1819 |
Even my friends call me Frosty. |
1.2252 |
0.04375 |
111 |
88 |
21 |
2 |
1820 |
All my subordinates at work think i'm Mr Softee |
1.2252 |
0.04735 |
111 |
90 |
17 |
4 |
1821 |
Even I don’t know the difference between cake or sugar cone. It’s like a USB cable, you never get it the first time. |
1.2252 |
0.04558 |
111 |
89 |
19 |
3 |
1822 |
Everybody just thinks I'm a Softee... |
1.2250 |
0.04178 |
120 |
95 |
23 |
2 |
1823 |
I just want a little sparkle in my life |
1.2250 |
0.04654 |
120 |
98 |
17 |
5 |
1824 |
I'm starting to think this constant brain freeze is psychological, Doctor." |
1.2250 |
0.04501 |
120 |
97 |
19 |
4 |
1825 |
I just can’t keep up with these seasonal flavors |
1.2248 |
0.04296 |
129 |
104 |
21 |
4 |
1826 |
We almost came to blows, but cooler heads prevailed. |
1.2247 |
0.05478 |
89 |
73 |
12 |
4 |
1827 |
I’m not soft serve, I’m frozen custard, damn it! |
1.2247 |
0.05240 |
89 |
72 |
14 |
3 |
1828 |
The irony is that I'm hard on myself. |
1.2247 |
0.05707 |
89 |
74 |
10 |
5 |
1829 |
Nobody licks me. |
1.2245 |
0.05335 |
98 |
81 |
12 |
5 |
1830 |
No, more like a brain freeze than a brain fog... |
1.2245 |
0.05335 |
98 |
81 |
12 |
5 |
1831 |
(Sigh) Just seems like soft serve is a thing of the past. |
1.2245 |
0.05135 |
98 |
80 |
14 |
4 |
1832 |
They scream for more of me and then blame me for their headaches. |
1.2245 |
0.05716 |
98 |
83 |
8 |
7 |
1833 |
I can't seem to lick it. |
1.2245 |
0.04925 |
98 |
79 |
16 |
3 |
1834 |
Brain freeze? Is that the same thing as writer's block? |
1.2243 |
0.04659 |
107 |
86 |
18 |
3 |
1835 |
Everyone thinks I'm just an old Softee! |
1.2243 |
0.04466 |
107 |
85 |
20 |
2 |
1836 |
I’m just liked, Doctor. |
1.2243 |
0.04659 |
107 |
86 |
18 |
3 |
1837 |
I just wish I could lick my problem. |
1.2243 |
0.04844 |
107 |
87 |
16 |
4 |
1838 |
So I make one little mistake with my hair and now everyone thinks I'm a softy. |
1.2243 |
0.04659 |
107 |
86 |
18 |
3 |
1839 |
But Doctor, I am ice cream. |
1.2243 |
0.04466 |
107 |
85 |
20 |
2 |
1840 |
I have this recurring dream where everyone's screaming my name and I completely freeze up. |
1.2243 |
0.05023 |
107 |
88 |
14 |
5 |
1841 |
Well, I'll be dipped! |
1.2243 |
0.04844 |
107 |
87 |
16 |
4 |
1842 |
She said I'm Mr. Softee in the streets AND in the sheets |
1.2241 |
0.04756 |
116 |
95 |
16 |
5 |
1843 |
No one does lactose anymore. |
1.2241 |
0.03889 |
116 |
90 |
26 |
0 |
1844 |
Sometimes I feel like I’m too much of a Softee |
1.2241 |
0.04756 |
116 |
95 |
16 |
5 |
1845 |
My stomach is churning. |
1.2241 |
0.04257 |
116 |
92 |
22 |
2 |
1846 |
I'm constantly in a state of meltdown. |
1.2240 |
0.04524 |
125 |
102 |
18 |
5 |
1847 |
Doctor, I know this is more than an ordinary head cold. |
1.2234 |
0.05691 |
94 |
79 |
9 |
6 |
1848 |
She said she wanted someone with more dough. |
1.2234 |
0.05486 |
94 |
78 |
11 |
5 |
1849 |
I've always wanted to be Mr. Potatohead, but at my age, I'm sure it will never happen! |
1.2234 |
0.05052 |
94 |
76 |
15 |
3 |
1850 |
Wherever I go, I get licked. |
1.2234 |
0.04820 |
94 |
75 |
17 |
2 |
1851 |
Please lower the thermostat, I don't really want my head to shrink. |
1.2234 |
0.05052 |
94 |
76 |
15 |
3 |
1852 |
I was born a soft serve,but I always felt I was a gelato. |
1.2234 |
0.05486 |
94 |
78 |
11 |
5 |
1853 |
I feel the name Mr. Softee weighs against my chances for a successful relationship. |
1.2233 |
0.04962 |
103 |
84 |
15 |
4 |
1854 |
My wife says I'm a soft serve. |
1.2233 |
0.04766 |
103 |
83 |
17 |
3 |
1855 |
I'm in crisis, Doc. I can't go through a full session without suffering a complete meltdown. |
1.2232 |
0.04865 |
112 |
92 |
15 |
5 |
1856 |
Phallic symbol? It’s just vanilla soft serve, Doc |
1.2232 |
0.04522 |
112 |
90 |
19 |
3 |
1857 |
Doctor, I feel my life is so vanilla. |
1.2232 |
0.04865 |
112 |
92 |
15 |
5 |
1858 |
I had another dream about global warming." |
1.2232 |
0.04522 |
112 |
90 |
19 |
3 |
1859 |
I have this recurring nightmare about a cow lick. |
1.2232 |
0.05027 |
112 |
93 |
13 |
6 |
1860 |
nobody screams for ice cream anymore |
1.2232 |
0.05027 |
112 |
93 |
13 |
6 |
1861 |
Your rug triggers me. |
1.2231 |
0.04766 |
121 |
100 |
15 |
6 |
1862 |
The constant brain freeze is driving me crazy! |
1.2231 |
0.04467 |
121 |
98 |
19 |
4 |
1863 |
I wanted to be a professional tennis player,but never made because of my soft serve. |
1.2222 |
0.05663 |
99 |
84 |
8 |
7 |
1864 |
Let me just get straight to the pint |
1.2222 |
0.05423 |
90 |
74 |
12 |
4 |
1865 |
They used to always tell me that too much ice cream goes right to your ass. |
1.2222 |
0.04620 |
108 |
87 |
18 |
3 |
1866 |
I try to appear strong and masculine, but people still call me Mister Softee. |
1.2222 |
0.04620 |
108 |
87 |
18 |
3 |
1867 |
I'm a full human being with a complex inner life, but all everyone wants is to lick my head |
1.2222 |
0.04981 |
108 |
89 |
14 |
5 |
1868 |
All my co-workers call me a softy. |
1.2222 |
0.04665 |
99 |
79 |
18 |
2 |
1869 |
It’s like half of me wants to completely start over and half of me is butter pecan. |
1.2222 |
0.05478 |
99 |
83 |
10 |
6 |
1870 |
I'm attracted to popsicles AND cones just like me. Does that make me bipolar? |
1.2222 |
0.04719 |
117 |
96 |
16 |
5 |
1871 |
I worry constantly about meltdowns. |
1.2222 |
0.04719 |
117 |
96 |
16 |
5 |
1872 |
Everyone keeps judging me by my flavour… |
1.2222 |
0.04560 |
117 |
95 |
18 |
4 |
1873 |
LGBT+ won't include DQ. |
1.2222 |
0.04719 |
117 |
96 |
16 |
5 |
1874 |
I can't get any sleep with that damn jingle stuck in my head. |
1.2222 |
0.04804 |
108 |
88 |
16 |
4 |
1875 |
And on Thursdays, chocolate. |
1.2222 |
0.04019 |
108 |
84 |
24 |
0 |
1876 |
I have an obsessive urge to dip my head in chocolate sauce. |
1.2222 |
0.05021 |
117 |
98 |
12 |
7 |
1877 |
I feel like I'm whipped. |
1.2222 |
0.04225 |
117 |
93 |
22 |
2 |
1878 |
There are a lot of things swirling around in here. |
1.2222 |
0.05423 |
90 |
74 |
12 |
4 |
1879 |
I have a deep fear of being dipped in chocolate syrup. |
1.2222 |
0.05188 |
90 |
73 |
14 |
3 |
1880 |
I know I'm largely responsible for my situation, but I've also had a lot of bad licks in my life! |
1.2222 |
0.04719 |
117 |
96 |
16 |
5 |
1881 |
It's the sun that I fear |
1.2222 |
0.04046 |
126 |
100 |
24 |
2 |
1882 |
I keep having the same dream — I’m late for social studies class and all of my sprinkles are falling off.” |
1.2222 |
0.05087 |
99 |
81 |
14 |
4 |
1883 |
I don't know doc, I'm just licked. |
1.2222 |
0.04665 |
99 |
79 |
18 |
2 |
1884 |
She let her dog lick me |
1.2222 |
0.04873 |
117 |
97 |
14 |
6 |
1885 |
…and then she tells me im ‘too vanilla’, whatever that means… |
1.2222 |
0.04873 |
117 |
97 |
14 |
6 |
1886 |
I just don't understand it Doc, why does every girl I meet just wanna Lick My Head?" /S |
1.2222 |
0.04200 |
126 |
101 |
22 |
3 |
1887 |
Sometimes I want to get a little hot under the collar, but I always have to keep a cool head. |
1.2212 |
0.04659 |
113 |
92 |
17 |
4 |
1888 |
My friends all say I have a frosty temperament. |
1.2212 |
0.04306 |
113 |
90 |
21 |
2 |
1889 |
It all started when I was four, and mother wouldn't let me get dipped in chocolate. |
1.2212 |
0.04825 |
113 |
93 |
15 |
5 |
1890 |
So as summer gets closer, I cant shake this feeling of inexorable death |
1.2212 |
0.04659 |
113 |
92 |
17 |
4 |
1891 |
I've always felt inferior to hand-dipped. |
1.2212 |
0.05105 |
104 |
86 |
13 |
5 |
1892 |
My problem is very vanilla! |
1.2212 |
0.04523 |
104 |
83 |
19 |
2 |
1893 |
So now you're going to tell me brain freeze is normal? |
1.2212 |
0.04918 |
104 |
85 |
15 |
4 |
1894 |
Maybe I'm just a little bit too vanilla? |
1.2212 |
0.04918 |
104 |
85 |
15 |
4 |
1895 |
My mind just keeps swirling. |
1.2212 |
0.04523 |
104 |
83 |
19 |
2 |
1896 |
my mind's a swirl Doctor... and it's weighing me down! |
1.2212 |
0.04918 |
104 |
85 |
15 |
4 |
1897 |
I can’t lick this obsession |
1.2211 |
0.05635 |
95 |
80 |
9 |
6 |
1898 |
Of course I'm depressed. You try to meet women when your name is Mr. Softee. |
1.2211 |
0.04775 |
95 |
76 |
17 |
2 |
1899 |
I always start feeling less desirable at the end of summer. |
1.2211 |
0.05004 |
95 |
77 |
15 |
3 |
1900 |
I'm trying to understand why every time I'm asked a question, my brain just freezes. |
1.2211 |
0.05635 |
95 |
80 |
9 |
6 |
1901 |
It started when they shortened my name to Frogurt. |
1.2209 |
0.05825 |
86 |
72 |
9 |
5 |
1902 |
My wife told me she’s lactose intolerant. |
1.2209 |
0.05585 |
86 |
71 |
11 |
4 |
1903 |
I’m passing as ice cream, but I’m really soft yogurt. |
1.2209 |
0.05335 |
86 |
70 |
13 |
3 |
1904 |
I’m afraid if I let anyone get too close, they’ll consume me. |
1.2209 |
0.05585 |
86 |
71 |
11 |
4 |
1905 |
With a name like Mr. Softee, of course I have relationship issues. |
1.2203 |
0.04683 |
118 |
97 |
16 |
5 |
1906 |
And last night in bed, my wife called me Mister Softee. |
1.2203 |
0.04835 |
118 |
98 |
14 |
6 |
1907 |
Thanks for closing the blinds |
1.2203 |
0.04193 |
118 |
94 |
22 |
2 |
1908 |
It's all swirling around up there. |
1.2203 |
0.04683 |
118 |
97 |
16 |
5 |
1909 |
I just feel like everything I’ve achieved might be melting away. |
1.2202 |
0.04582 |
109 |
88 |
18 |
3 |
1910 |
I get brain freeze all the time. |
1.2202 |
0.04582 |
109 |
88 |
18 |
3 |
1911 |
It's everyone's intolerance that gets me down - lactose,in particular. |
1.2202 |
0.04939 |
109 |
90 |
14 |
5 |
1912 |
I keep worrying about hot weather. |
1.2202 |
0.04764 |
109 |
89 |
16 |
4 |
1913 |
My parents were polar opposites — chocolate and vanilla. |
1.2202 |
0.04939 |
109 |
90 |
14 |
5 |
1914 |
It just kills the mood when she calls me Mr. Softee. |
1.2202 |
0.04939 |
109 |
90 |
14 |
5 |
1915 |
So then my kid said, "You have no idea how hard it is to be a chocolate-vanilla swirl." |
1.2202 |
0.05108 |
109 |
91 |
12 |
6 |
1916 |
...and if that isn't enough, I'm fat free, sugar free and non-GMO. |
1.2202 |
0.04939 |
109 |
90 |
14 |
5 |
1917 |
It's pronounced Soft - Tay. Why is that so hard for everyone to understand? |
1.2202 |
0.04939 |
109 |
90 |
14 |
5 |
1918 |
But how can I be a Softee with a heart this cold? |
1.2202 |
0.04764 |
109 |
89 |
16 |
4 |
1919 |
The Viagara is not helping |
1.2202 |
0.04764 |
109 |
89 |
16 |
4 |
1920 |
Well, it happened again. Can you prescribe me some Viagra? |
1.2202 |
0.04764 |
109 |
89 |
16 |
4 |
1921 |
I’m having panic attacks about global warming |
1.2200 |
0.05041 |
100 |
82 |
14 |
4 |
1922 |
They all ask like I'm supposed to know - sprinkles or jimmies, sprinkles or jimmies?! |
1.2200 |
0.05041 |
100 |
82 |
14 |
4 |
1923 |
Ugh. By the end of the day I feel licked. |
1.2200 |
0.04399 |
100 |
79 |
20 |
1 |
1924 |
Well, summer is over, so what good am I? |
1.2200 |
0.05041 |
100 |
82 |
14 |
4 |
1925 |
Why didn’t she tell me she was lactose intolerant BEFORE the wedding?? |
1.2200 |
0.05041 |
100 |
82 |
14 |
4 |
1926 |
I thought I had a twisted mind, but it turns out I’m just vanilla |
1.2200 |
0.05041 |
100 |
82 |
14 |
4 |
1927 |
I’m tired of everyone being intolerant of me, like just chill out |
1.2200 |
0.04623 |
100 |
80 |
18 |
2 |
1928 |
I’ve got brain freeze and I’m obsessed with ice cream. I need help. |
1.2198 |
0.04893 |
91 |
73 |
16 |
2 |
1929 |
Why do I always have to wear a suit? |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
1930 |
My wife says I’m getting soft in the head. |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
1931 |
I am not a Conehead but I am from France. |
1.2198 |
0.05591 |
91 |
76 |
10 |
5 |
1932 |
Can you change my flavor? |
1.2198 |
0.05136 |
91 |
74 |
14 |
3 |
1933 |
I keep having a nightmare that a child kisses me and my head falls off and splats on the ground. |
1.2198 |
0.05369 |
91 |
75 |
12 |
4 |
1934 |
Doctor , everyone wants to put their nuts on my head . |
1.2195 |
0.04695 |
123 |
102 |
15 |
6 |
1935 |
I'm a cold person and I think that is affecting my relationships. |
1.2193 |
0.04622 |
114 |
93 |
17 |
4 |
1936 |
I don’t know, Doc. Do you think I’m a little soft in the head? |
1.2193 |
0.04622 |
114 |
93 |
17 |
4 |
1937 |
Thoughts keep
Swirling in my head, Doc. |
1.2193 |
0.05101 |
114 |
96 |
11 |
7 |
1938 |
...and then my mother who kept calling me 'sorbet'... |
1.2193 |
0.04787 |
114 |
94 |
15 |
5 |
1939 |
Doc something is eating away at me and is it hot in here or just me. |
1.2193 |
0.04622 |
114 |
93 |
17 |
4 |
1940 |
I have nightmares about tongues. |
1.2190 |
0.05060 |
105 |
87 |
13 |
5 |
1941 |
Sometimes I feel like I’m the opposite of Pavlov’s dog because whenever I hear a bell I imagine others salivating. |
1.2190 |
0.04876 |
105 |
86 |
15 |
4 |
1942 |
I feel like I’m getting a brain freeze. |
1.2190 |
0.04876 |
105 |
86 |
15 |
4 |
1943 |
The problem is that she is hot |
1.2190 |
0.05060 |
105 |
87 |
13 |
5 |
1944 |
I’ve just always felt more like a cup than a cone” |
1.2190 |
0.04876 |
105 |
86 |
15 |
4 |
1945 |
I just want to enjoy one sunny day without a meltdown. |
1.2190 |
0.04485 |
105 |
84 |
19 |
2 |
1946 |
it all started when my father refused to take me to the circus. |
1.2190 |
0.05410 |
105 |
89 |
9 |
7 |
1947 |
I am a child of divorce, and now my wife wants a custardy battle over the kids. |
1.2188 |
0.05173 |
96 |
79 |
13 |
4 |
1948 |
I am ice cream, but I identify as frozen yogurt. |
1.2188 |
0.04957 |
96 |
78 |
15 |
3 |
1949 |
The problem is, when I focus on my state of mind, my state of matter deteriorates. |
1.2188 |
0.05173 |
96 |
79 |
13 |
4 |
1950 |
I prefer frigid women |
1.2188 |
0.04957 |
96 |
78 |
15 |
3 |
1951 |
I can’t stay focused on anything. It’s like constant brain freeze. |
1.2188 |
0.04428 |
128 |
105 |
18 |
5 |
1952 |
I feel like I'm having a meltdown. |
1.2188 |
0.04957 |
96 |
78 |
15 |
3 |
1953 |
Doctor, you've got to help me, I think I'm on the verge of a melt-down! |
1.2188 |
0.05581 |
96 |
81 |
9 |
6 |
1954 |
I was born a conehead... |
1.2188 |
0.05173 |
96 |
79 |
13 |
4 |
1955 |
The hate from the lactose intolerant community has just been getting to me lately |
1.2188 |
0.05173 |
96 |
79 |
13 |
4 |
1956 |
I've suffered a total meltdown. |
1.2188 |
0.05173 |
96 |
79 |
13 |
4 |
1957 |
To be honest doc, it makes me feel cold. |
1.2188 |
0.04730 |
96 |
77 |
17 |
2 |
1958 |
Am I too much of a softee? |
1.2185 |
0.04647 |
119 |
98 |
16 |
5 |
1959 |
If I could only develop a shell, it won't hurt so much when everyone calls me a softie. |
1.2184 |
0.04746 |
87 |
69 |
17 |
1 |
1960 |
There just seems to be so much lactose intolerance in this world |
1.2182 |
0.04545 |
110 |
89 |
18 |
3 |
1961 |
It's just so hard, Doctor. |
1.2182 |
0.04357 |
110 |
88 |
20 |
2 |
1962 |
it's odd...even Mr. Trump didn't seem to think it was ridiculous! |
1.2182 |
0.04725 |
110 |
90 |
16 |
4 |
1963 |
I feel the whole world's out to lick me. |
1.2182 |
0.04357 |
110 |
88 |
20 |
2 |
1964 |
I can do hard things |
1.2182 |
0.04898 |
110 |
91 |
14 |
5 |
1965 |
I just feel different then everybody, ya know? Like I’ll never find my Mrs. Softee |
1.2182 |
0.04725 |
110 |
90 |
16 |
4 |
1966 |
I’ve learned to accept that my mother was lactose intolerant. |
1.2178 |
0.04996 |
101 |
83 |
14 |
4 |
1967 |
I worry about getting too soft. |
1.2178 |
0.04794 |
101 |
82 |
16 |
3 |
1968 |
My wife .complains that I twist things in my head |
1.2178 |
0.04794 |
101 |
82 |
16 |
3 |
1969 |
Admit it. You want to spoon me." |
1.2178 |
0.04361 |
101 |
80 |
20 |
1 |
1970 |
Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtin had it all wrong. |
1.2178 |
0.04996 |
101 |
83 |
14 |
4 |
1971 |
I am afraid I have gone soft in the head |
1.2178 |
0.04582 |
101 |
81 |
18 |
2 |
1972 |
Then I woke up with this bag of potatoes on my head |
1.2174 |
0.04749 |
115 |
95 |
15 |
5 |
1973 |
I just can’t take the lickings anymore. |
1.2174 |
0.04749 |
115 |
95 |
15 |
5 |
1974 |
And when she does that, I just melt. |
1.2174 |
0.04592 |
92 |
73 |
18 |
1 |
1975 |
My brain is frozen. |
1.2174 |
0.04585 |
115 |
94 |
17 |
4 |
1976 |
My past? You mean before the blizzard? |
1.2174 |
0.05315 |
92 |
76 |
12 |
4 |
1977 |
Are you saying this unrelenting craving is all in my head? |
1.2174 |
0.05315 |
92 |
76 |
12 |
4 |
1978 |
Wherever I go, they just keep screaming my name |
1.2174 |
0.05315 |
92 |
76 |
12 |
4 |
1979 |
It’s always about Mr. Softee the truck and never Mr. Softee the man, you know? |
1.2171 |
0.04397 |
129 |
106 |
18 |
5 |
1980 |
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream… and then I wake up, sweating. |
1.2170 |
0.04834 |
106 |
87 |
15 |
4 |
1981 |
Let’s see, your wife is cherry berry smash and you are plain vanilla. Perhaps the two of you are simply not compatible. |
1.2170 |
0.04645 |
106 |
86 |
17 |
3 |
1982 |
She wanted a banana split. |
1.2170 |
0.05017 |
106 |
88 |
13 |
5 |
1983 |
Mister Softee doesn’t have the same ring in bed. |
1.2170 |
0.05017 |
106 |
88 |
13 |
5 |
1984 |
How long do you think that I will survive in the Middle East? |
1.2170 |
0.05017 |
106 |
88 |
13 |
5 |
1985 |
Its really hard to find love when your name is Mister Softee |
1.2170 |
0.04645 |
106 |
86 |
17 |
3 |
1986 |
CONE HEAD DOC? |
1.2170 |
0.04447 |
106 |
85 |
19 |
2 |
1987 |
An awkward cone of silence. |
1.2170 |
0.04645 |
106 |
86 |
17 |
3 |
1988 |
My story has a twist. |
1.2170 |
0.04834 |
106 |
87 |
15 |
4 |
1989 |
She ended it and said it was because I am so Vanilla. |
1.2170 |
0.04645 |
106 |
86 |
17 |
3 |
1990 |
I may be vanilla, Doc, but she’s the one making our life a rocky road. |
1.2170 |
0.05193 |
106 |
89 |
11 |
6 |
1991 |
I have gone soft |
1.2170 |
0.04240 |
106 |
84 |
21 |
1 |
1992 |
She says I give her brain freeze. |
1.2170 |
0.04240 |
106 |
84 |
21 |
1 |
1993 |
Last night I dreamt I was a doughnut. |
1.2170 |
0.05193 |
106 |
89 |
11 |
6 |
1994 |
My father, Beldar, keeps telling me I’m from Remulak but I look nothing like my sister, Connie |
1.2170 |
0.04834 |
106 |
87 |
15 |
4 |
1995 |
They keep telling me that cooler heads will prevail. . . |
1.2170 |
0.04645 |
106 |
86 |
17 |
3 |
1996 |
well off the top of my head..... |
1.2169 |
0.05156 |
83 |
67 |
14 |
2 |
1997 |
Actually Doc it’s been hard being a softy! |
1.2169 |
0.05156 |
83 |
67 |
14 |
2 |
1998 |
Women seem interested until they hear what my name is. |
1.2167 |
0.04611 |
120 |
99 |
16 |
5 |
1999 |
People say I have a vanilla personality. |
1.2165 |
0.04687 |
97 |
78 |
17 |
2 |
2000 |
Sure, I am cooler than Mr. Potato Head, but I am concerned about my life span |
1.2165 |
0.05330 |
97 |
81 |
11 |
5 |
2001 |
People think I'm too soft. |
1.2165 |
0.04452 |
97 |
77 |
19 |
1 |
2002 |
My wife forgot to buy sprinkles. I feel neglected at home. |
1.2165 |
0.04687 |
97 |
78 |
17 |
2 |
2003 |
They won’t let me go topless. |
1.2165 |
0.04452 |
97 |
77 |
19 |
1 |
2004 |
She said I was vanilla, as if *she’s* so exciting! |
1.2165 |
0.04910 |
97 |
79 |
15 |
3 |
2005 |
Well it all started when the refrigerator broke and the ice cream started to melt |
1.2165 |
0.04910 |
97 |
79 |
15 |
3 |
2006 |
No matter how hard I try, I feel I'm licked. |
1.2162 |
0.04322 |
111 |
89 |
20 |
2 |
2007 |
That tune. That twinkly, tingling tune. It's driving me crazy. |
1.2162 |
0.04858 |
111 |
92 |
14 |
5 |
2008 |
ED can have many causes. |
1.2162 |
0.04686 |
111 |
91 |
16 |
4 |
2009 |
Having a meltdown on a monday. |
1.2162 |
0.04322 |
111 |
89 |
20 |
2 |
2010 |
My biggest fear is diabetes" |
1.2162 |
0.04686 |
111 |
91 |
16 |
4 |
2011 |
Why does everyone assume that I'm a softy? |
1.2162 |
0.04508 |
111 |
90 |
18 |
3 |
2012 |
You might see me as well-rounded, but I'm not so sure. |
1.2162 |
0.04686 |
111 |
91 |
16 |
4 |
2013 |
As soon as one of us falls to the floor, that's when you realize you're replaceable. |
1.2162 |
0.04858 |
111 |
92 |
14 |
5 |
2014 |
I really long for a 6-pack. |
1.2162 |
0.04508 |
111 |
90 |
18 |
3 |
2015 |
… every day is bad, but Sundaes are the worst. |
1.2160 |
0.04763 |
125 |
105 |
13 |
7 |
2016 |
Mr. Milquetoast is much better. |
1.2160 |
0.04763 |
125 |
105 |
13 |
7 |
2017 |
Is it fair to say your mind feels like it’s… swirling? |
1.2160 |
0.04187 |
125 |
101 |
21 |
3 |
2018 |
I feel warm. Was Mr. Potato Head just here? |
1.2159 |
0.05225 |
88 |
72 |
13 |
3 |
2019 |
It doesn't matter if I'm up for the fight, I always end up being licked!... |
1.2157 |
0.05144 |
102 |
85 |
12 |
5 |
2020 |
‘“I’m afraid if I get a bad licking in this election I’ll completely lose my head.” |
1.2157 |
0.04951 |
102 |
84 |
14 |
4 |
2021 |
Just tell me, doc, if brain freeze is real. |
1.2157 |
0.04751 |
102 |
83 |
16 |
3 |
2022 |
I scream. You scream. We all scream. |
1.2157 |
0.05144 |
102 |
85 |
12 |
5 |
2023 |
Actually, I am defined by other people's choices. |
1.2157 |
0.04951 |
102 |
84 |
14 |
4 |
2024 |
It's hereditary...my maternal grandfather lost his jimmies too. |
1.2157 |
0.04542 |
102 |
82 |
18 |
2 |
2025 |
I just don't know ... it's just ... ever since I watched 'the Wizzard of Oz', a plain vanilla life as the guy with a swirl on top just seems now so less certain. |
1.2157 |
0.04323 |
102 |
81 |
20 |
1 |
2026 |
I feel that I’m constantly being followed. |
1.2157 |
0.04542 |
102 |
82 |
18 |
2 |
2027 |
It's like when you drink a milkshake too fast...but ALL THE TIME. |
1.2157 |
0.04951 |
102 |
84 |
14 |
4 |
2028 |
They always go in with tongue! |
1.2155 |
0.04711 |
116 |
96 |
15 |
5 |
2029 |
I'm tired of guys saying they can lick me. |
1.2155 |
0.04207 |
116 |
93 |
21 |
2 |
2030 |
People say I'm too vanilla. |
1.2155 |
0.04382 |
116 |
94 |
19 |
3 |
2031 |
I've always been a softy, even though I try to play it cool. |
1.2155 |
0.04868 |
116 |
97 |
13 |
6 |
2032 |
I always have the same dream. I’m a stamp. |
1.2151 |
0.05481 |
93 |
78 |
10 |
5 |
2033 |
She says I'm too sweet for my own good. |
1.2151 |
0.05481 |
93 |
78 |
10 |
5 |
2034 |
Darn, I can't remember what I was going to say. It's like my brain just froze up. |
1.2151 |
0.04798 |
93 |
75 |
16 |
2 |
2035 |
My thoughts are just constantly swirling around up there. |
1.2151 |
0.04798 |
93 |
75 |
16 |
2 |
2036 |
I think your having a meltdown |
1.2150 |
0.04793 |
107 |
88 |
15 |
4 |
2037 |
All the women, they never look below the neck. |
1.2150 |
0.03990 |
107 |
84 |
23 |
0 |
2038 |
Beyond this soft exterior, I have a cold, frozen heart. |
1.2150 |
0.04974 |
107 |
89 |
13 |
5 |
2039 |
I always just have meltdowns. |
1.2150 |
0.04974 |
107 |
89 |
13 |
5 |
2040 |
First, they came for the Slushies, but I was not a Slushy... |
1.2150 |
0.04605 |
107 |
87 |
17 |
3 |
2041 |
I just can't shake this brain freeze, doc. |
1.2150 |
0.04410 |
107 |
86 |
19 |
2 |
2042 |
“Yes, I know that’s my name but every time she calls me that, I feel inadequate.” |
1.2150 |
0.05316 |
107 |
91 |
9 |
7 |
2043 |
I hope you give a lick about what I'm saying. |
1.2150 |
0.04793 |
107 |
88 |
15 |
4 |
2044 |
My arthritis, I can't put the cherry on top." |
1.2150 |
0.04793 |
107 |
88 |
15 |
4 |
2045 |
Frozen Yogurt got promoted again. |
1.2150 |
0.04793 |
107 |
88 |
15 |
4 |
2046 |
My problems feel so vanilla. |
1.2149 |
0.04424 |
121 |
99 |
18 |
4 |
2047 |
Um, no. Not Hardee’s. It’s just Softee—Mr. Softee. |
1.2149 |
0.04577 |
121 |
100 |
16 |
5 |
2048 |
I’m not sure therapy is helping me. |
1.2149 |
0.04424 |
121 |
99 |
18 |
4 |
2049 |
I can't get that stupid song out of my head. |
1.2149 |
0.04265 |
121 |
98 |
20 |
3 |
2050 |
I've been trying for decades, but can't think of any other songs. |
1.2143 |
0.05077 |
98 |
81 |
13 |
4 |
2051 |
But I wanted to be chocolate! |
1.2143 |
0.04288 |
112 |
90 |
20 |
2 |
2052 |
It's just that being lactose intolerant is killing my dreams |
1.2143 |
0.04818 |
112 |
93 |
14 |
5 |
2053 |
People think I'm soft. |
1.2143 |
0.04865 |
98 |
80 |
15 |
3 |
2054 |
Well... mother was a diary farmer and father was a drag queen. |
1.2143 |
0.05077 |
98 |
81 |
13 |
4 |
2055 |
I only ever wanted a few sprinkles to be happy |
1.2143 |
0.04865 |
98 |
80 |
15 |
3 |
2056 |
Even a bent carrot gets more respect than I do. |
1.2143 |
0.04096 |
112 |
89 |
22 |
1 |
2057 |
In summer I do suffer meltdowns but in winter I’m rock solid. |
1.2143 |
0.05077 |
98 |
81 |
13 |
4 |
2058 |
Intimacy? No, not really. She just licks her fingers after fondling my curls. |
1.2143 |
0.04472 |
112 |
91 |
18 |
3 |
2059 |
I’m a hothead. |
1.2143 |
0.04644 |
98 |
79 |
17 |
2 |
2060 |
He called me a conehead!
Judah Hare, Berlin, VT, age 13 |
1.2143 |
0.04818 |
112 |
93 |
14 |
5 |
2061 |
No...I still think being a Conehead is cool.
But not this kind. |
1.2143 |
0.05280 |
98 |
82 |
11 |
5 |
2062 |
And truly,all I have ever wanted is to be licked,I mean liked. |
1.2143 |
0.04452 |
126 |
104 |
17 |
5 |
2063 |
It's the screaming. |
1.2143 |
0.05375 |
84 |
69 |
12 |
3 |
2064 |
I just feel totally whipped |
1.2143 |
0.05077 |
98 |
81 |
13 |
4 |
2065 |
I scream and I scream and I scream, and still the children come |
1.2143 |
0.04865 |
98 |
80 |
15 |
3 |
2066 |
«all these years being called soft, has made me question who i really am » |
1.2143 |
0.04818 |
112 |
93 |
14 |
5 |
2067 |
I want to top myself. |
1.2143 |
0.05077 |
98 |
81 |
13 |
4 |
2068 |
Now she says she realizes she's lactose intolerant. |
1.2137 |
0.04348 |
117 |
95 |
19 |
3 |
2069 |
So you |
1.2136 |
0.04503 |
103 |
83 |
18 |
2 |
2070 |
Oh… I hated my mother… She was a cow |
1.2136 |
0.05281 |
103 |
87 |
10 |
6 |
2071 |
All my dates want to do is lick my head! |
1.2136 |
0.04709 |
103 |
84 |
16 |
3 |
2072 |
Don’t sugar cone it doc |
1.2136 |
0.04907 |
103 |
85 |
14 |
4 |
2073 |
I don’t understand. My Wife and Kids don’t think I’m cool anymore. |
1.2136 |
0.04058 |
103 |
81 |
22 |
0 |
2074 |
I feel really insecure with climate warming. |
1.2136 |
0.04907 |
103 |
85 |
14 |
4 |
2075 |
I'm just tired of people taking their licks |
1.2136 |
0.04503 |
103 |
83 |
18 |
2 |
2076 |
I just don’t feel like myself lately. |
1.2136 |
0.04907 |
103 |
85 |
14 |
4 |
2077 |
It feels like I always have an ice cream headache. |
1.2136 |
0.04286 |
103 |
82 |
20 |
1 |
2078 |
This happens every fall. I just feel unwanted, Doc. If only I were like pumpkin spice |
1.2136 |
0.05281 |
103 |
87 |
10 |
6 |
2079 |
No, my problem is more than brain freeze. |
1.2135 |
0.04918 |
89 |
72 |
15 |
2 |
2080 |
The phrase "global warming" gives me anxiety attacks. |
1.2131 |
0.04689 |
122 |
102 |
14 |
6 |
2081 |
Now that we're back in the office, everyone wants to bite my head off." |
1.2130 |
0.04567 |
108 |
88 |
17 |
3 |
2082 |
People say I’m cold but I starting to think it’s all in my head? |
1.2130 |
0.04753 |
108 |
89 |
15 |
4 |
2083 |
I'm not only Mr. Softy up there. |
1.2130 |
0.04753 |
108 |
89 |
15 |
4 |
2084 |
I just feel like I'm such a big softie. |
1.2130 |
0.04567 |
108 |
88 |
17 |
3 |
2085 |
. . . and then they all screamed for ice cream. |
1.2130 |
0.04567 |
108 |
88 |
17 |
3 |
2086 |
I feel like I'm melting from the inside. |
1.2130 |
0.04753 |
108 |
89 |
15 |
4 |
2087 |
It was just the way she said ‘vanilla’ |
1.2130 |
0.04567 |
108 |
88 |
17 |
3 |
2088 |
I’m just a mess. |
1.2130 |
0.04373 |
108 |
87 |
19 |
2 |
2089 |
I can't remember the last time I thought about sprinkles. |
1.2128 |
0.04987 |
94 |
77 |
14 |
3 |
2090 |
... and worst of all, I have a headache that just won't go away. |
1.2128 |
0.04987 |
94 |
77 |
14 |
3 |
2091 |
I had this dream where I was Cherry Garcia. |
1.2128 |
0.05212 |
94 |
78 |
12 |
4 |
2092 |
...and then I fall to the pavement, where a dog starts licking me greedily with his tongue..... |
1.2128 |
0.04752 |
94 |
76 |
16 |
2 |
2093 |
How do you think it makes me feel when she calls me Mr. Softee in bed? |
1.2128 |
0.04987 |
94 |
77 |
14 |
3 |
2094 |
I worry all the time about global warming |
1.2128 |
0.05212 |
94 |
78 |
12 |
4 |
2095 |
I guess it's because my mother never breast fed me |
1.2128 |
0.05212 |
94 |
78 |
12 |
4 |
2096 |
Hot Fudge slipped away and was all over Miss Softee. |
1.2126 |
0.03973 |
127 |
102 |
23 |
2 |
2097 |
All I ever wanted was to be Dairy King. |
1.2125 |
0.05245 |
80 |
65 |
13 |
2 |
2098 |
I feel I’m getting soft. |
1.2124 |
0.04254 |
113 |
91 |
20 |
2 |
2099 |
I just can't keep these all crazy thoughts from swirling around in my head. |
1.2124 |
0.04254 |
113 |
91 |
20 |
2 |
2100 |
The nickname “Mr. Softee” hasn’t helped me at the mixers. |
1.2124 |
0.04254 |
113 |
91 |
20 |
2 |
2101 |
I bet even your thinking of licking me |
1.2124 |
0.04779 |
113 |
94 |
14 |
5 |
2102 |
But when I try to talk to her, I just melt. |
1.2124 |
0.04436 |
113 |
92 |
18 |
3 |
2103 |
I feel a meltdown is coming. |
1.2121 |
0.05030 |
99 |
82 |
13 |
4 |
2104 |
Coconut Vanilla to be precise |
1.2121 |
0.04602 |
99 |
80 |
17 |
2 |
2105 |
I take the drugs, but my erection melts too quickly. |
1.2121 |
0.04821 |
99 |
81 |
15 |
3 |
2106 |
At first I just thought it was a head cold. |
1.2121 |
0.04821 |
99 |
81 |
15 |
3 |
2107 |
She said I’m too much of a softie… |
1.2121 |
0.04821 |
99 |
81 |
15 |
3 |
2108 |
My wife says I'm an old softie |
1.2121 |
0.04821 |
99 |
81 |
15 |
3 |
2109 |
Just because I'm 'Mr Frosty' at work doesn't mean I'm not emotionally connected at home |
1.2119 |
0.04315 |
118 |
96 |
19 |
3 |
2110 |
It started in the groin area ... |
1.2119 |
0.04315 |
118 |
96 |
19 |
3 |
2111 |
And all this time I thought I had tinnitus. |
1.2118 |
0.05317 |
85 |
70 |
12 |
3 |
2112 |
All of a sudden my wife is allergic to dairy. |
1.2118 |
0.05317 |
85 |
70 |
12 |
3 |
2113 |
She left me for a guy with sprinkles. |
1.2115 |
0.04864 |
104 |
86 |
14 |
4 |
2114 |
Of course it's my mother's fault. She's the one who kept telling me, "If you keep eating so much ice cream your head will turn into a giant ice cream cone!" |
1.2115 |
0.05234 |
104 |
88 |
10 |
6 |
2115 |
Yeah, well I have brain freeze all the time! |
1.2115 |
0.04464 |
104 |
84 |
18 |
2 |
2116 |
Doc... it's tough to date being called Mr. Softee!" |
1.2115 |
0.04668 |
104 |
85 |
16 |
3 |
2117 |
I can't figure out why I keep getting these headaches? |
1.2114 |
0.04654 |
123 |
103 |
14 |
6 |
2118 |
She even told me that she had worked at an ice cream parlor, and I still let her do my hair. What was I thinking?! |
1.2111 |
0.05119 |
90 |
74 |
13 |
3 |
2119 |
'Doc, am I wrong to think that a meltdown is inevitable?' |
1.2111 |
0.05585 |
90 |
76 |
9 |
5 |
2120 |
Yes,but everyone keeps licking my head. What can I do? |
1.2111 |
0.05119 |
90 |
74 |
13 |
3 |
2121 |
I never get the scoop. |
1.2111 |
0.05585 |
90 |
76 |
9 |
5 |
2122 |
Do YOU think I look like Matt Gaetz? |
1.2111 |
0.05357 |
90 |
75 |
11 |
4 |
2123 |
Our time together is my only cone-solation. |
1.2111 |
0.04326 |
90 |
71 |
19 |
0 |
2124 |
Sure, I’ve come a long way since my hothead days but I assure you it’s no linear process |
1.2111 |
0.04605 |
90 |
72 |
17 |
1 |
2125 |
It's weird but I feel like I have brain freeze all the time. |
1.2111 |
0.05119 |
90 |
74 |
13 |
3 |
2126 |
Okay go ahead have a taste. |
1.2110 |
0.04529 |
109 |
89 |
17 |
3 |
2127 |
You’re being way to hard on yourself Mr. Softy ! |
1.2110 |
0.04337 |
109 |
88 |
19 |
2 |
2128 |
Everybody says I'm too soft. |
1.2110 |
0.04529 |
109 |
89 |
17 |
3 |
2129 |
It's like I have this feeling that my season is coming to an end... |
1.2110 |
0.04529 |
109 |
89 |
17 |
3 |
2130 |
My barber says I am using way too much gel. |
1.2110 |
0.05386 |
109 |
94 |
7 |
8 |
2131 |
My whole family was lactose intolerant. |
1.2110 |
0.04529 |
109 |
89 |
17 |
3 |
2132 |
I’m sick nd tired of getting licked in every Primary. |
1.2110 |
0.04713 |
109 |
90 |
15 |
4 |
2133 |
Being called
Mr. Softy on your honeymoon has a lasting impact! |
1.2110 |
0.04890 |
109 |
91 |
13 |
5 |
2134 |
She says I’m just vanilla. |
1.2110 |
0.04529 |
109 |
89 |
17 |
3 |
2135 |
...And like that, the judge told me I'd been served. A soft sentence, but still. |
1.2110 |
0.04529 |
109 |
89 |
17 |
3 |
2136 |
We have a mixed marriage,and our kids are teased because they swirl. |
1.2105 |
0.04463 |
95 |
76 |
18 |
1 |
2137 |
Am I wrong in wanting people to know that I am the original Conehead? |
1.2105 |
0.04940 |
95 |
78 |
14 |
3 |
2138 |
I didn't end well. She told me I was too vanilla for her and I just froze. |
1.2105 |
0.04901 |
114 |
96 |
12 |
6 |
2139 |
I’m having thoughts about jumping in a hot tub. |
1.2105 |
0.04401 |
114 |
93 |
18 |
3 |
2140 |
People keep saying it's only going to get harder, you know? But it doesn't. |
1.2105 |
0.04032 |
114 |
91 |
22 |
1 |
2141 |
I don't know why Doc,I have always had this horrible feeling that people want to lick me. |
1.2105 |
0.04940 |
95 |
78 |
14 |
3 |
2142 |
I just don’t fit in with the other coneheads. |
1.2105 |
0.05161 |
95 |
79 |
12 |
4 |
2143 |
And here I thought I was THE Queen! |
1.2105 |
0.04401 |
114 |
93 |
18 |
3 |
2144 |
Everyone just wants a bite. |
1.2105 |
0.04708 |
95 |
77 |
16 |
2 |
2145 |
I’m normally cool headed. But I screamed at the barber the other day when he tried to give me a buzz cut. |
1.2105 |
0.04940 |
95 |
78 |
14 |
3 |
2146 |
It just hasn't been the same since Sprinkles left. |
1.2101 |
0.04755 |
119 |
100 |
13 |
6 |
2147 |
My thoughts are all twisted. |
1.2100 |
0.04777 |
100 |
82 |
15 |
3 |
2148 |
You try going through life as Mister Softee. |
1.2100 |
0.04777 |
100 |
82 |
15 |
3 |
2149 |
…and I was the 32nd flavor. |
1.2100 |
0.04560 |
100 |
81 |
17 |
2 |
2150 |
Do you think my intermittent rage disorder is caused by a mono and diglyceride imbalance. |
1.2100 |
0.04777 |
100 |
82 |
15 |
3 |
2151 |
Actually,the brain freeze I can handle, but the constant drip, drip, drip, is driving me crazy. |
1.2100 |
0.04777 |
100 |
82 |
15 |
3 |
2152 |
I’m all Twisted up inside . . . |
1.2100 |
0.04777 |
100 |
82 |
15 |
3 |
2153 |
And on top of it all, turns out I'm lactose intolerant. |
1.2100 |
0.05183 |
100 |
84 |
11 |
5 |
2154 |
I have a fear of being dipped!? |
1.2100 |
0.04777 |
100 |
82 |
15 |
3 |
2155 |
My impotence was so bad they called me ‘Mister Softy.’ |
1.2100 |
0.04560 |
100 |
81 |
17 |
2 |
2156 |
Would you kindly use a different first question next session instead of your usual "What's the scoop this week?" |
1.2100 |
0.04984 |
100 |
83 |
13 |
4 |
2157 |
For some reason, Doc, I've always felt like a real drip. |
1.2099 |
0.05476 |
81 |
67 |
11 |
3 |
2158 |
I've had brain freeze since the summer. |
1.2097 |
0.04172 |
124 |
101 |
20 |
3 |
2159 |
My girlfriend is lactose-intolerant. |
1.2095 |
0.04628 |
105 |
86 |
16 |
3 |
2160 |
It’s not easy being called a Softee |
1.2095 |
0.04628 |
105 |
86 |
16 |
3 |
2161 |
I have a tongue phobia |
1.2095 |
0.04822 |
105 |
87 |
14 |
4 |
2162 |
In a twist, I learned that my father is really frozen custard. |
1.2095 |
0.04822 |
105 |
87 |
14 |
4 |
2163 |
The other men in the E.D. support group said I was cramping their mojo." |
1.2095 |
0.04426 |
105 |
85 |
18 |
2 |
2164 |
I worry the curl on top makes me look gay. |
1.2095 |
0.04822 |
105 |
87 |
14 |
4 |
2165 |
I can’t concentrate. Everything is a swirl! |
1.2095 |
0.04628 |
105 |
86 |
16 |
3 |
2166 |
The jingle is making me crazy |
1.2095 |
0.04214 |
105 |
84 |
20 |
1 |
2167 |
The voices in my head Keep telling me, I can run for President in 2024 |
1.2095 |
0.05008 |
105 |
88 |
12 |
5 |
2168 |
I can hear you drooling. |
1.2095 |
0.05008 |
105 |
88 |
12 |
5 |
2169 |
She didn't object to my coldness. She couldn't stand my twisted personality |
1.2095 |
0.04822 |
105 |
87 |
14 |
4 |
2170 |
And then my Dairy Queen left me |
1.2095 |
0.05008 |
105 |
88 |
12 |
5 |
2171 |
I used to be so smooth. |
1.2095 |
0.04426 |
105 |
85 |
18 |
2 |
2172 |
She says I'm just a softie, too vanilla. But all I want to be is sweet. |
1.2095 |
0.04426 |
105 |
85 |
18 |
2 |
2173 |
I just went cold after she left. |
1.2095 |
0.04214 |
105 |
84 |
20 |
1 |
2174 |
I'm really depressed as everyone keeps calling me a big dip! |
1.2093 |
0.05261 |
86 |
71 |
12 |
3 |
2175 |
.............. sorry, brain freeze." |
1.2093 |
0.04994 |
86 |
70 |
14 |
2 |
2176 |
Mr. Cone, perhaps they’re screaming FOR you and not AT you. |
1.2091 |
0.04492 |
110 |
90 |
17 |
3 |
2177 |
The truth is my mother was a dip. |
1.2091 |
0.04849 |
110 |
92 |
13 |
5 |
2178 |
Maybe I’m not warm and fuzzy but I’m certainly not frosty. |
1.2091 |
0.04492 |
110 |
90 |
17 |
3 |
2179 |
I just want the headaches to stop. |
1.2091 |
0.04674 |
110 |
91 |
15 |
4 |
2180 |
I feel I am always hounded for the latest scoop... |
1.2091 |
0.04674 |
110 |
91 |
15 |
4 |
2181 |
I always thought it was good to be cool headed. |
1.2091 |
0.04674 |
110 |
91 |
15 |
4 |
2182 |
I can't get over the feeling that my life is just melting away |
1.2091 |
0.04849 |
110 |
92 |
13 |
5 |
2183 |
I tell ya, doc, I know when I'm licked. |
1.2091 |
0.05182 |
110 |
94 |
9 |
7 |
2184 |
My head isn’t the problem Doc, it’s my soggy bottom. |
1.2091 |
0.04302 |
110 |
89 |
19 |
2 |
2185 |
Sometimes I think I've gone too soft. |
1.2088 |
0.05745 |
91 |
78 |
7 |
6 |
2186 |
'I think I'm having a meltdown!' |
1.2088 |
0.05068 |
91 |
75 |
13 |
3 |
2187 |
I think I may be transgender! |
1.2088 |
0.05068 |
91 |
75 |
13 |
3 |
2188 |
Well doc, you're in for a real treat today. |
1.2088 |
0.05303 |
91 |
76 |
11 |
4 |
2189 |
I can’t stop thinking about sprinkles. |
1.2088 |
0.04821 |
91 |
74 |
15 |
2 |
2190 |
I love popsicles AND cones like me. Does that make me bipolar? |
1.2087 |
0.04537 |
115 |
95 |
16 |
4 |
2191 |
…but I do try to assert myself! |
1.2087 |
0.04366 |
115 |
94 |
18 |
3 |
2192 |
They’re all self-serving these days |
1.2087 |
0.04703 |
115 |
96 |
14 |
5 |
2193 |
So this global warming thing…do you think it’s serious? |
1.2087 |
0.04537 |
115 |
95 |
16 |
4 |
2194 |
Does my hair look okay? |
1.2087 |
0.04703 |
115 |
96 |
14 |
5 |
2195 |
I just don’t know who I am.
A cup? A cone? |
1.2083 |
0.05112 |
96 |
80 |
12 |
4 |
2196 |
So you think my partner is frigid? |
1.2083 |
0.05112 |
96 |
80 |
12 |
4 |
2197 |
It's just unbearable, the licks I've been taking. |
1.2083 |
0.05322 |
96 |
81 |
10 |
5 |
2198 |
I've tried being more assertive, but I'm just an old Softe |
1.2083 |
0.04893 |
96 |
79 |
14 |
3 |
2199 |
I was told to keep a cool head about things. |
1.2083 |
0.04893 |
96 |
79 |
14 |
3 |
2200 |
I get this brain freeze |
1.2083 |
0.04865 |
120 |
102 |
11 |
7 |
2201 |
I give up. This town has got me licked. |
1.2083 |
0.04893 |
96 |
79 |
14 |
3 |
2202 |
Doc,you think I have a chance to lick this? |
1.2083 |
0.04663 |
96 |
78 |
16 |
2 |
2203 |
It just ticks me off when people say I’m as cool as a cucumber |
1.2083 |
0.04893 |
96 |
79 |
14 |
3 |
2204 |
I don’t think I cone do this anymore, doc |
1.2083 |
0.04893 |
96 |
79 |
14 |
3 |
2205 |
Everyone just assumes I’m a softy |
1.2083 |
0.04893 |
96 |
79 |
14 |
3 |
2206 |
People always ask if I was at Custard's Last Stand. |
1.2079 |
0.04939 |
101 |
84 |
13 |
4 |
2207 |
You know what it feels like to be dropped right? |
1.2079 |
0.04734 |
101 |
83 |
15 |
3 |
2208 |
I think I will need a tissue! |
1.2079 |
0.04939 |
101 |
84 |
13 |
4 |
2209 |
That's it, Doc! I constantly have brain freeze. |
1.2079 |
0.04939 |
101 |
84 |
13 |
4 |
2210 |
So doctor, I really have to find out what's causing these nasty headaches. |
1.2079 |
0.04520 |
101 |
82 |
17 |
2 |
2211 |
I thought after I got my degree they would call me Dr Softee |
1.2079 |
0.04734 |
101 |
83 |
15 |
3 |
2212 |
I'm just tired of being so cool-headed about everything... |
1.2079 |
0.04295 |
101 |
81 |
19 |
1 |
2213 |
My parents, chocolate and strawberry, never told me I was adopted. So why am I vanilla soft serve? |
1.2079 |
0.04295 |
101 |
81 |
19 |
1 |
2214 |
I'm sorry - I'm having a brain freeze. |
1.2079 |
0.04734 |
101 |
83 |
15 |
3 |
2215 |
My pronouns are ice, ice and baby. |
1.2079 |
0.04734 |
101 |
83 |
15 |
3 |
2216 |
People mistake me for being a soft touch! |
1.2075 |
0.04780 |
106 |
88 |
14 |
4 |
2217 |
I came to you, Dr. Cohen, because I thought you'd empathize. |
1.2075 |
0.05143 |
106 |
90 |
10 |
6 |
2218 |
Sorry, I had a brain freeze. What was I just saying? |
1.2075 |
0.04179 |
106 |
85 |
20 |
1 |
2219 |
Gone are the good old days of having cold feet |
1.2075 |
0.05143 |
106 |
90 |
10 |
6 |
2220 |
I don’t know what to do…. Everyone keeps telling me I am too soft. |
1.2075 |
0.04780 |
106 |
88 |
14 |
4 |
2221 |
My family, the coneheads, call me a disgrace |
1.2075 |
0.05143 |
106 |
90 |
10 |
6 |
2222 |
It feels like I'm melting inside. |
1.2075 |
0.04780 |
106 |
88 |
14 |
4 |
2223 |
And to top it all off, now she says I’m a Softee. |
1.2075 |
0.04589 |
106 |
87 |
16 |
3 |
2224 |
One moment.. brain freeze |
1.2075 |
0.04589 |
106 |
87 |
16 |
3 |
2225 |
I just want to be licked. |
1.2073 |
0.05415 |
82 |
68 |
11 |
3 |
2226 |
No, Viagra didn't help. |
1.2073 |
0.04827 |
82 |
66 |
15 |
1 |
2227 |
I just can’t seem to get hard enough for her… |
1.2072 |
0.04976 |
111 |
94 |
11 |
6 |
2228 |
She told me I was creme de la creme. |
1.2072 |
0.04455 |
111 |
91 |
17 |
3 |
2229 |
So there’s a little blue pill that will turn me into ice cream? |
1.2072 |
0.04071 |
111 |
89 |
21 |
1 |
2230 |
'Soft' doesn't mean pushover, you know? |
1.2069 |
0.04665 |
116 |
97 |
14 |
5 |
2231 |
I keep freezing up. |
1.2069 |
0.04664 |
87 |
70 |
16 |
1 |
2232 |
Sometime I don't want to be sweet. Is that bad? |
1.2069 |
0.05206 |
87 |
72 |
12 |
3 |
2233 |
Life’s just been vanilla, you know? |
1.2069 |
0.05696 |
87 |
74 |
8 |
5 |
2234 |
I just feel myself melting away |
1.2066 |
0.04052 |
121 |
98 |
21 |
2 |
2235 |
... and the English always laugh at me - something about my being one flake short of a 99 |
1.2065 |
0.05017 |
92 |
76 |
13 |
3 |
2236 |
When you ask me about my mother I just get brain freeze. |
1.2065 |
0.05017 |
92 |
76 |
13 |
3 |
2237 |
Too late,SNL did this a long time ago |
1.2065 |
0.04773 |
92 |
75 |
15 |
2 |
2238 |
I think I'm having a complete emotional melt-down... |
1.2065 |
0.04773 |
92 |
75 |
15 |
2 |
2239 |
No one is more concerned about climate change than I am |
1.2065 |
0.05250 |
92 |
77 |
11 |
4 |
2240 |
In my nightmares I see myself under chocolate storms and cream avalanches… |
1.2065 |
0.04773 |
92 |
75 |
15 |
2 |
2241 |
And I told them, its not dandruff, its sprinkles. |
1.2065 |
0.05473 |
92 |
78 |
9 |
5 |
2242 |
My girlfriend says I give her a headache. |
1.2065 |
0.05250 |
92 |
77 |
11 |
4 |
2243 |
Doc am I really broken? Or is McDonalds gaslighting me |
1.2065 |
0.05017 |
92 |
76 |
13 |
3 |
2244 |
If I hear ONE more joke about me being soft in the head... |
1.2063 |
0.04112 |
126 |
103 |
20 |
3 |
2245 |
I feel like my head is swirling doc. |
1.2062 |
0.05064 |
97 |
81 |
12 |
4 |
2246 |
I get pangs of existential dread whenever I think about climate change. |
1.2062 |
0.04847 |
97 |
80 |
14 |
3 |
2247 |
Am I bi-polar if I love hot summer days but can’t stand the heat? |
1.2062 |
0.04620 |
97 |
79 |
16 |
2 |
2248 |
It's hard to find someone who doesn't want a bowl. |
1.2062 |
0.04847 |
97 |
80 |
14 |
3 |
2249 |
I was all set to be one of SNL's coneheads, but at the dress rehearsal I melted under the lights. |
1.2062 |
0.04847 |
97 |
80 |
14 |
3 |
2250 |
I SCREAM for ice cream! |
1.2062 |
0.04847 |
97 |
80 |
14 |
3 |
2251 |
I’m just trying to recreate my childhood. |
1.2062 |
0.05064 |
97 |
81 |
12 |
4 |
2252 |
My mother never understood… Whoa ! Ouch! I’m having another brain freeze |
1.2062 |
0.05271 |
97 |
82 |
10 |
5 |
2253 |
You scream, they scream…I’ve had it. I’m licked. |
1.2062 |
0.04620 |
97 |
79 |
16 |
2 |
2254 |
My head's in a swirl. |
1.2062 |
0.04847 |
97 |
80 |
14 |
3 |
2255 |
We were only five years old. How could I have possibly known that he could actually curse me? |
1.2062 |
0.05064 |
97 |
81 |
12 |
4 |
2256 |
My parents were frigid... |
1.2062 |
0.04381 |
97 |
78 |
18 |
1 |
2257 |
So how do you deal with any adversity?”
“I scream. |
1.2062 |
0.05064 |
97 |
81 |
12 |
4 |
2258 |
I just froze up. |
1.2059 |
0.04692 |
102 |
84 |
15 |
3 |
2259 |
I fear the world is growing more lactose intolerant every day, Doc. |
1.2059 |
0.04894 |
102 |
85 |
13 |
4 |
2260 |
I think it might be brain freeze. |
1.2059 |
0.05089 |
102 |
86 |
11 |
5 |
2261 |
Wow, an insecure attachment style? |
1.2059 |
0.05089 |
102 |
86 |
11 |
5 |
2262 |
...then I get this melting feeling... |
1.2059 |
0.04023 |
102 |
81 |
21 |
0 |
2263 |
My mom won't accept that I'll never become a Dairy Queen |
1.2059 |
0.04894 |
102 |
85 |
13 |
4 |
2264 |
I feel like I will never be able to reach the issues in my head and lick lick them. |
1.2059 |
0.04258 |
102 |
82 |
19 |
1 |
2265 |
Anytime someone says my name, I scream! |
1.2056 |
0.05098 |
107 |
91 |
10 |
6 |
2266 |
My love life is on a rocky road. |
1.2056 |
0.03925 |
107 |
85 |
22 |
0 |
2267 |
...and, then, they taunt me for not being able to get hard. |
1.2056 |
0.05098 |
107 |
91 |
10 |
6 |
2268 |
As you probably guessed, my childhood was as vanilla as it gets, and my parents were extremely frigid! |
1.2056 |
0.04922 |
107 |
90 |
12 |
5 |
2269 |
I always feel like such a drip. |
1.2056 |
0.04922 |
107 |
90 |
12 |
5 |
2270 |
I don’t know what’s worse. My wife thinking I’m a softie or my kids calling me cone headed. |
1.2056 |
0.04550 |
107 |
88 |
16 |
3 |
2271 |
For once, I want to scream for myself. |
1.2056 |
0.04550 |
107 |
88 |
16 |
3 |
2272 |
Cool heads will prevail. |
1.2054 |
0.04597 |
112 |
93 |
15 |
4 |
2273 |
I wish I was chocolate. |
1.2054 |
0.04233 |
112 |
91 |
19 |
2 |
2274 |
It all started when I drove past my first Dairy Queen |
1.2054 |
0.04935 |
112 |
95 |
11 |
6 |
2275 |
Ever since the frozen yogurt craze, I’ve had an empty useless feeling |
1.2054 |
0.04419 |
112 |
92 |
17 |
3 |
2276 |
I might melt under all this pressure. |
1.2051 |
0.04467 |
117 |
97 |
16 |
4 |
2277 |
Do you know how hard it is being lactose intolerant |
1.2048 |
0.05073 |
83 |
68 |
13 |
2 |
2278 |
Every night she says she has a headache, and I'm starting to feel like it's my fault. |
1.2048 |
0.05355 |
83 |
69 |
11 |
3 |
2279 |
Some days I just don’t feel like I’m serving, you know? |
1.2048 |
0.05073 |
83 |
68 |
13 |
2 |
2280 |
I found out my wife is seeing someone named Rocky Road. |
1.2045 |
0.05152 |
88 |
73 |
12 |
3 |
2281 |
Yes doctor you’re right, I often feel completely whipped. |
1.2045 |
0.05399 |
88 |
74 |
10 |
4 |
2282 |
And then she accused me of being soft in the head. |
1.2045 |
0.05152 |
88 |
73 |
12 |
3 |
2283 |
It's a never ending brain freeze. |
1.2045 |
0.04617 |
88 |
71 |
16 |
1 |
2284 |
My father says I'm too soft in the head. |
1.2045 |
0.04891 |
88 |
72 |
14 |
2 |
2285 |
I had the nightmare where I'm frozen yogurt again. |
1.2045 |
0.04891 |
88 |
72 |
14 |
2 |
2286 |
People keep telling me that I'm just plain vanilla. |
1.2045 |
0.04617 |
88 |
71 |
16 |
1 |
2287 |
I don't know, I just feel like I have brain freeze all the time. |
1.2045 |
0.05399 |
88 |
74 |
10 |
4 |
2288 |
I'm tired of taking a licking every day. |
1.2045 |
0.05399 |
88 |
74 |
10 |
4 |
2289 |
Well… my friends say I’m whipped. |
1.2045 |
0.05152 |
88 |
73 |
12 |
3 |
2290 |
Yesterday someone called me Taylor Swirl and I actually laughed. |
1.2045 |
0.05152 |
88 |
73 |
12 |
3 |
2291 |
They've stopped screaming for me! |
1.2043 |
0.05418 |
93 |
79 |
9 |
5 |
2292 |
I feel like I will never win the New Yorker caption conetes |
1.2043 |
0.05630 |
93 |
80 |
7 |
6 |
2293 |
I can't stop all these thoughts from swirling around in my head! |
1.2043 |
0.04727 |
93 |
76 |
15 |
2 |
2294 |
Sads cream |
1.2043 |
0.04968 |
93 |
77 |
13 |
3 |
2295 |
Do something before I melt! |
1.2043 |
0.04727 |
93 |
76 |
15 |
2 |
2296 |
Yes but how do I know when they lick me for ME? |
1.2041 |
0.05016 |
98 |
82 |
12 |
4 |
2297 |
Sure, I knew what most people meant when they yelled "nuts." But there was always that one kid, you know? The one kid I just knew didn't mean what the others meant. |
1.2041 |
0.04802 |
98 |
81 |
14 |
3 |
2298 |
She left me for a swirl. |
1.2041 |
0.04577 |
98 |
80 |
16 |
2 |
2299 |
Call me a Softee, but this whole frozen yogurt thing has me twisted up inside. |
1.2041 |
0.05016 |
98 |
82 |
12 |
4 |
2300 |
I just live with the constant fear that one day, it's all gonna just melt away. |
1.2041 |
0.04802 |
98 |
81 |
14 |
3 |
2301 |
I wake up in the middle of the night and I scream… |
1.2041 |
0.04802 |
98 |
81 |
14 |
3 |
2302 |
I'm having a hard time keeping a cool head |
1.2041 |
0.05016 |
98 |
82 |
12 |
4 |
2303 |
Your rug looks like a fried egg flying saucer! |
1.2039 |
0.04851 |
103 |
86 |
13 |
4 |
2304 |
The dry heat is OK here in Phoenix,but that humidity in Florida really sucks. |
1.2039 |
0.05043 |
103 |
87 |
11 |
5 |
2305 |
I’m the secret love child of two Coneheads. |
1.2039 |
0.04851 |
103 |
86 |
13 |
4 |
2306 |
I feel intimidated by Mr. Potato Head. |
1.2039 |
0.04851 |
103 |
86 |
13 |
4 |
2307 |
There's this snippet of a melody. I can't get it out of my head. |
1.2039 |
0.05043 |
103 |
87 |
11 |
5 |
2308 |
I scream! |
1.2039 |
0.04221 |
103 |
83 |
19 |
1 |
2309 |
I always feel so cold. |
1.2037 |
0.04315 |
108 |
88 |
18 |
2 |
2310 |
I don’t mind, really, but did it have to be vanilla? |
1.2037 |
0.04511 |
108 |
89 |
16 |
3 |
2311 |
It all started when I was attacked by a radioactive fro-yo clerk... |
1.2037 |
0.05223 |
108 |
93 |
8 |
7 |
2312 |
I had hoped it would be fun being the flavor of the week. |
1.2037 |
0.04315 |
108 |
88 |
18 |
2 |
2313 |
Some say, I’m sweet. Others say I’m a softie. None of them ever sees a heart overflowing with mono and diglycerides, guar gum, carrageenan, and vitamin A palmitate. |
1.2037 |
0.05054 |
108 |
92 |
10 |
6 |
2314 |
Viagra hasn’t helped. |
1.2037 |
0.04511 |
108 |
89 |
16 |
3 |
2315 |
And in the dream my head completely melts... |
1.2037 |
0.04110 |
108 |
87 |
20 |
1 |
2316 |
It all started when I lost my sprinkles… |
1.2035 |
0.04383 |
113 |
93 |
17 |
3 |
2317 |
Oh, it was awful. They tried to dip my head in chocolate. That's when I ran. |
1.2035 |
0.04560 |
113 |
94 |
15 |
4 |
2318 |
We were a perfect couple. Then, she met a guy with sprinkles. |
1.2035 |
0.04894 |
113 |
96 |
11 |
6 |
2319 |
Doc, I think I’ve gone soft. |
1.2035 |
0.04199 |
113 |
92 |
19 |
2 |
2320 |
I just don't understand why my friends only want to see me on hot days. |
1.2034 |
0.04092 |
118 |
96 |
20 |
2 |
2321 |
I’ve changed my mind.
I’m willing to try sprinkles. |
1.2034 |
0.04432 |
118 |
98 |
16 |
4 |
2322 |
She said she wants to try a swirl. |
1.2034 |
0.04265 |
118 |
97 |
18 |
3 |
2323 |
I keep having this horrible dream where I have a corn dog for a head. Crazy, right? |
1.2025 |
0.04894 |
79 |
64 |
14 |
1 |
2324 |
They tried to lock me in a restaurant freezer. |
1.2025 |
0.05518 |
79 |
66 |
10 |
3 |
2325 |
At prep school, the bullies on the tennis team kept calling me soft-serve. |
1.2024 |
0.05297 |
84 |
70 |
11 |
3 |
2326 |
Why won’t people just shake hands? |
1.2024 |
0.05297 |
84 |
70 |
11 |
3 |
2327 |
Dr., I'm tired of everyone thinking ' I'm 'Mr. Softie' |
1.2024 |
0.05297 |
84 |
70 |
11 |
3 |
2328 |
I hate fucking sprinkles |
1.2022 |
0.05099 |
89 |
74 |
12 |
3 |
2329 |
The "Mr. Softee" taunts have really messed with my head. |
1.2022 |
0.05343 |
89 |
75 |
10 |
4 |
2330 |
No, my dad was Mister Softee. Call me Derek. |
1.2022 |
0.04842 |
89 |
73 |
14 |
2 |
2331 |
Yes, I am soft in the head! But why do people assume I am stupid? |
1.2022 |
0.05099 |
89 |
74 |
12 |
3 |
2332 |
I just can’t decide, am I sprinkles or dip-top |
1.2022 |
0.04282 |
89 |
71 |
18 |
0 |
2333 |
Do you believe in predestination, Doctor? |
1.2022 |
0.04842 |
89 |
73 |
14 |
2 |
2334 |
Why isn’t lactose intolerance a hate crime? |
1.2021 |
0.04920 |
94 |
78 |
13 |
3 |
2335 |
I knew it couldn’t last after she melted my heart. |
1.2021 |
0.04682 |
94 |
77 |
15 |
2 |
2336 |
Sorry. I just had a brain freeze. |
1.2021 |
0.04682 |
94 |
77 |
15 |
2 |
2337 |
It's less a spiral than a swirl. |
1.2021 |
0.04682 |
94 |
77 |
15 |
2 |
2338 |
Now Mr. Potato Head, how can I help you? |
1.2021 |
0.04920 |
94 |
78 |
13 |
3 |
2339 |
Yes, my moniker has affected my ability to date women, |
1.2021 |
0.04682 |
94 |
77 |
15 |
2 |
2340 |
My wife won’t let me forget it. |
1.2021 |
0.04682 |
94 |
77 |
15 |
2 |
2341 |
I’m a natural chocolate, but I started dyeing my head after the emoji-that-must-not-be-named came out. |
1.2021 |
0.04920 |
94 |
78 |
13 |
3 |
2342 |
Is everyone lactose intolerant or is it just me? |
1.2021 |
0.04682 |
94 |
77 |
15 |
2 |
2343 |
When you’re just vanilla and not swirl, it’s like you always feel like you’re never quite enough. |
1.2021 |
0.04682 |
94 |
77 |
15 |
2 |
2344 |
It’s the Lab puppy dream again! |
1.2021 |
0.05147 |
94 |
79 |
11 |
4 |
2345 |
I have these horrible nightmares that I turn into a waffle cone…. |
1.2021 |
0.04682 |
94 |
77 |
15 |
2 |
2346 |
People are always dressing me up. It’s like I’m not good enough as is. |
1.2020 |
0.04758 |
99 |
82 |
14 |
3 |
2347 |
I keep hearing this silly little jingle that repeats and repeats. |
1.2020 |
0.04969 |
99 |
83 |
12 |
4 |
2348 |
I don’t know where to begin, Doctor…my head’s a big swirl. |
1.2020 |
0.04302 |
99 |
80 |
18 |
1 |
2349 |
Why is it,that in every relationship I am always the softee? |
1.2020 |
0.05173 |
99 |
84 |
10 |
5 |
2350 |
Yeah? Can I blow your mind,Doc? I think your rug looks like an EGG! |
1.2020 |
0.04969 |
99 |
83 |
12 |
4 |
2351 |
So how does Mrs. Softee feel about your brain freeze? |
1.2020 |
0.05173 |
99 |
84 |
10 |
5 |
2352 |
It's like my brain just freezes. |
1.2020 |
0.04758 |
99 |
82 |
14 |
3 |
2353 |
Sorry I’m so emotional today. But I know I’m not the first patient to drip on this couch. |
1.2020 |
0.04536 |
99 |
81 |
16 |
2 |
2354 |
Very difficult to maintain a cool head |
1.2020 |
0.05368 |
99 |
85 |
8 |
6 |
2355 |
How long has it been since your wife left you for a popsicle? |
1.2020 |
0.04536 |
99 |
81 |
16 |
2 |
2356 |
They scream for me all day - of course, I’m having a meltdown! |
1.2020 |
0.04536 |
99 |
81 |
16 |
2 |
2357 |
I feel like more a dairy office manager than a dairy queen. |
1.2020 |
0.05173 |
99 |
84 |
10 |
5 |
2358 |
Just once I'd like to have an ice-cream headache. |
1.2020 |
0.04758 |
99 |
82 |
14 |
3 |
2359 |
Some days I just wonder if I'm too plain vanilla. |
1.2020 |
0.04969 |
99 |
83 |
12 |
4 |
2360 |
At the end of the day I'm just whipped, doctor. |
1.2020 |
0.05173 |
99 |
84 |
10 |
5 |
2361 |
She was a nice person, but the whole evening was just plain vanilla |
1.2020 |
0.04758 |
99 |
82 |
14 |
3 |
2362 |
Fro-yo?!! who even am I doc? |
1.2020 |
0.04302 |
99 |
80 |
18 |
1 |
2363 |
I fall in love too easily. Some people call me an old softie. |
1.2019 |
0.04402 |
104 |
85 |
17 |
2 |
2364 |
I feel my needs aren't being met when she sets the thermostat above 32 degrees. |
1.2019 |
0.04402 |
104 |
85 |
17 |
2 |
2365 |
Mr. Softie does transplant? |
1.2019 |
0.04808 |
104 |
87 |
13 |
4 |
2366 |
I need you to help me lick this brain freeze |
1.2019 |
0.04402 |
104 |
85 |
17 |
2 |
2367 |
I’m telling you, they just won’t serve me there |
1.2019 |
0.04609 |
104 |
86 |
15 |
3 |
2368 |
That was a rather frosty remark |
1.2019 |
0.04609 |
104 |
86 |
15 |
3 |
2369 |
It’s as if I have permanent brain freeze. |
1.2019 |
0.04998 |
104 |
88 |
11 |
5 |
2370 |
I feel like such a hypocrite since I found out I was lactose intolerant. |
1.2019 |
0.04808 |
104 |
87 |
13 |
4 |
2371 |
It's hard to go on ... without sprinkles. |
1.2018 |
0.04474 |
109 |
90 |
16 |
3 |
2372 |
Don't serve it to me softly, Doc. |
1.2018 |
0.04474 |
109 |
90 |
16 |
3 |
2373 |
I freaked when she said she could eat me with a spoon. |
1.2018 |
0.04839 |
109 |
92 |
12 |
5 |
2374 |
I have this recurring dream that I was once a sultan of Egypt! |
1.2018 |
0.04474 |
109 |
90 |
16 |
3 |
2375 |
And now I fear my wife is seeing Mr. Hardee behind my back |
1.2018 |
0.04839 |
109 |
92 |
12 |
5 |
2376 |
Umm, that's not how you use a condom |
1.2018 |
0.04839 |
109 |
92 |
12 |
5 |
2377 |
Well, when you're Mr. Softee, people take advantage |
1.2018 |
0.04524 |
114 |
95 |
15 |
4 |
2378 |
I really feel like a king rather than a dairy queen. |
1.2017 |
0.04557 |
119 |
100 |
14 |
5 |
2379 |
She complained that I’m always soft! |
1.2017 |
0.04398 |
119 |
99 |
16 |
4 |
2380 |
I feel like this job is eating away at me. |
1.2016 |
0.04126 |
124 |
102 |
19 |
3 |
2381 |
I can always tell the juge that the music was what attracted the children. |
1.2000 |
0.05097 |
95 |
80 |
11 |
4 |
2382 |
I don't know, I am afraid this will lead to another total meltdown. |
1.2000 |
0.04714 |
100 |
83 |
14 |
3 |
2383 |
Please, don’t let me melt.. |
1.2000 |
0.04264 |
100 |
81 |
18 |
1 |
2384 |
I have this constant brain freeze... |
1.2000 |
0.04264 |
100 |
81 |
18 |
1 |
2385 |
You get bullied a lot when you are a Softee. |
1.2000 |
0.04240 |
90 |
72 |
18 |
0 |
2386 |
People think I’m a softie. |
1.2000 |
0.04872 |
95 |
79 |
13 |
3 |
2387 |
Caramelize this. |
1.2000 |
0.04495 |
100 |
82 |
16 |
2 |
2388 |
I don't know why they always swipe left. |
1.2000 |
0.04798 |
110 |
93 |
12 |
5 |
2389 |
It was tough growing up in a lactose intolerant neighborhood. |
1.2000 |
0.04965 |
85 |
70 |
13 |
2 |
2390 |
I just can't get those songs out of my head. |
1.2000 |
0.04872 |
95 |
79 |
13 |
3 |
2391 |
I know I'm loved, but it's eating me alive. |
1.2000 |
0.04839 |
80 |
65 |
14 |
1 |
2392 |
All I ever heard was, 'your brother has more scoops, and sprinkles.' |
1.2000 |
0.05311 |
105 |
91 |
7 |
7 |
2393 |
And then my dad said:"You're soft, and you'll always be soft". |
1.2000 |
0.04839 |
80 |
65 |
14 |
1 |
2394 |
Why do I feel like you just licked my head? |
1.2000 |
0.04134 |
115 |
94 |
19 |
2 |
2395 |
But soft-serve isn't REAL ice cream. |
1.2000 |
0.05125 |
100 |
85 |
10 |
5 |
2396 |
I tend to keep a cool head but I have trouble with hot dates. |
1.2000 |
0.03935 |
125 |
102 |
21 |
2 |
2397 |
Everything’s a whirl. |
1.2000 |
0.04569 |
105 |
87 |
15 |
3 |
2398 |
I panic when they forecast sprinkles. |
1.2000 |
0.04793 |
90 |
74 |
14 |
2 |
2399 |
The northern US has a winter demand problem. |
1.2000 |
0.04969 |
110 |
94 |
10 |
6 |
2400 |
Does the constant brain freeze qualify for Worker’s Compensation? |
1.2000 |
0.04495 |
100 |
82 |
16 |
2 |
2401 |
My mother was a lazy sundae |
1.2000 |
0.04569 |
105 |
87 |
15 |
3 |
2402 |
I've had this headache my whole life. |
1.2000 |
0.04924 |
100 |
84 |
12 |
4 |
2403 |
No one believes I can be woke and vanilla. |
1.2000 |
0.05125 |
100 |
85 |
10 |
5 |
2404 |
You got to toughen up if you want to lose the nickname |
1.2000 |
0.04364 |
105 |
86 |
17 |
2 |
2405 |
Sometimes I feel my brain is mush! |
1.2000 |
0.04437 |
110 |
91 |
16 |
3 |
2406 |
It's not my IQ, it's my DQ. |
1.2000 |
0.04965 |
85 |
70 |
13 |
2 |
2407 |
My doctor said it was just a brain freeze, but I think there’s something psychological at play here |
1.2000 |
0.05737 |
80 |
68 |
8 |
4 |
2408 |
…and the truth is, I’m lactose intolerant.” |
1.2000 |
0.04793 |
90 |
74 |
14 |
2 |
2409 |
I use to be hard-headed, full on Rocky Road... |
1.2000 |
0.04637 |
95 |
78 |
15 |
2 |
2410 |
Nobody sees me as the action hero type. |
1.2000 |
0.05695 |
75 |
63 |
9 |
3 |
2411 |
It's been 45 years, and that SNL sketch still hurts. |
1.2000 |
0.05695 |
75 |
63 |
9 |
3 |
2412 |
I have nightmares about Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtin. |
1.2000 |
0.04495 |
100 |
82 |
16 |
2 |
2413 |
Keeping a cool head just isn't working,Doc. |
1.2000 |
0.04495 |
100 |
82 |
16 |
2 |
2414 |
I know I'm a Softee, Doc, but if I were just not plain vanilla. |
1.2000 |
0.05369 |
75 |
62 |
11 |
2 |
2415 |
Doctor, I know when I'm licked. |
1.2000 |
0.05239 |
85 |
71 |
11 |
3 |
2416 |
I can't overcome this feeling that a dairy queen is ruling over me. |
1.2000 |
0.04924 |
100 |
84 |
12 |
4 |
2417 |
Besides the constant brain freeze, everyone keeps throwing sprinkles at me. |
1.2000 |
0.04924 |
100 |
84 |
12 |
4 |
2418 |
So how long have you been experiencing brain freeze? |
1.2000 |
0.05454 |
80 |
67 |
10 |
3 |
2419 |
I told my family doctor that I keep having ice cream headaches, but he told me that is all in my head. |
1.2000 |
0.04244 |
110 |
90 |
18 |
2 |
2420 |
I told you Jeremy that you are what you eat..... |
1.2000 |
0.04965 |
85 |
70 |
13 |
2 |
2421 |
There’s no way I could stay in the closet. |
1.2000 |
0.04714 |
100 |
83 |
14 |
3 |
2422 |
My wife is kosher. My sex life is a disaster. |
1.2000 |
0.05311 |
105 |
91 |
7 |
7 |
2423 |
My wife says I'm a big softee, doc. |
1.2000 |
0.04264 |
100 |
81 |
18 |
1 |
2424 |
And then she said you're not the flavor of the week anymore! |
1.2000 |
0.04924 |
100 |
84 |
12 |
4 |
2425 |
It was supposed to be the perfect summer wedding. I guess she just got cold feet. |
1.2000 |
0.04364 |
105 |
86 |
17 |
2 |
2426 |
I have too much going on in my head doc |
1.2000 |
0.05047 |
90 |
75 |
12 |
3 |
2427 |
People think I’m as cold as ice, but deep down I’m really a softie. |
1.2000 |
0.04714 |
100 |
83 |
14 |
3 |
2428 |
It just wasn't what I was expecting when you said to keep a cool head. |
1.2000 |
0.04244 |
110 |
90 |
18 |
2 |
2429 |
Coneheads? Not funny. |
1.2000 |
0.04264 |
100 |
81 |
18 |
1 |
2430 |
‘Nobody calls me ‘Mister Softee’ anymore. It’s all ‘Yo, Softee!’ It seems so disrespectful.’ |
1.2000 |
0.05737 |
80 |
68 |
8 |
4 |
2431 |
It just feels like I’ve always been twisted. |
1.2000 |
0.04437 |
110 |
91 |
16 |
3 |
2432 |
My wife loves chocolate swirl more than me." |
1.1982 |
0.04400 |
111 |
92 |
16 |
3 |
2433 |
Plain white is dignified,
but my wife suggests a
two-tone swirl. |
1.1982 |
0.04582 |
111 |
93 |
14 |
4 |
2434 |
I’ve lost my sprinkles I |
1.1981 |
0.04327 |
106 |
87 |
17 |
2 |
2435 |
Doc, I've taken my share of licks in this world. But that's not why I'm here. What's really bothering me is that I am just sick of being the "flavor of the month" with my girlfriends. |
1.1981 |
0.04724 |
106 |
89 |
13 |
4 |
2436 |
There’s always somebody out to get me. |
1.1981 |
0.04911 |
106 |
90 |
11 |
5 |
2437 |
I seem to be experiencing perpetual brain freeze |
1.1981 |
0.04911 |
106 |
90 |
11 |
5 |
2438 |
I scream on a daily basis doc |
1.1981 |
0.04114 |
106 |
86 |
19 |
1 |
2439 |
I think women pre-judge me. |
1.1980 |
0.04454 |
101 |
83 |
16 |
2 |
2440 |
And when in childhood did you lose your sprinkles? |
1.1980 |
0.04879 |
101 |
85 |
12 |
4 |
2441 |
Everybody thinks I'm just a softie. |
1.1980 |
0.05269 |
101 |
87 |
8 |
6 |
2442 |
I know this is going to sound twisted. . . |
1.1980 |
0.04879 |
101 |
85 |
12 |
4 |
2443 |
It feels like everyone just wants to get in their licks. |
1.1980 |
0.04879 |
101 |
85 |
12 |
4 |
2444 |
People think I am cold |
1.1980 |
0.04671 |
101 |
84 |
14 |
3 |
2445 |
I have a constant ice headache. |
1.1980 |
0.04671 |
101 |
84 |
14 |
3 |
2446 |
I know I’m soft in the head.
Steven Scher, Brookline, MA |
1.1980 |
0.04454 |
101 |
83 |
16 |
2 |
2447 |
It’s like I always have this incredible ice-cream headache. |
1.1980 |
0.04879 |
101 |
85 |
12 |
4 |
2448 |
Everyone makes fun of my bow tie. |
1.1979 |
0.05048 |
96 |
81 |
11 |
4 |
2449 |
What bothers me most is when people ask if I give myself “brain freeze.” |
1.1979 |
0.04348 |
96 |
78 |
17 |
1 |
2450 |
Sometimes I feel that people take advantage of me--that I'm just a big softie. |
1.1979 |
0.04348 |
96 |
78 |
17 |
1 |
2451 |
Every time I hear ice cream truck music, I can't help feeling agitated. |
1.1979 |
0.05048 |
96 |
81 |
11 |
4 |
2452 |
She said that I was just too...vanilla. |
1.1979 |
0.04826 |
96 |
80 |
13 |
3 |
2453 |
At home, I was always the one that got a licking. |
1.1979 |
0.04826 |
96 |
80 |
13 |
3 |
2454 |
So much for your counsel to always keep my cool. |
1.1979 |
0.04826 |
96 |
80 |
13 |
3 |
2455 |
…the same silly tune plays over and over, and I’m being chased by dozens of children… |
1.1979 |
0.05048 |
96 |
81 |
11 |
4 |
2456 |
It’s just that I sense everyone wants to lick me. |
1.1979 |
0.04826 |
96 |
80 |
13 |
3 |
2457 |
I'm tired of being called "Mister Conehead" |
1.1979 |
0.04826 |
96 |
80 |
13 |
3 |
2458 |
I just can’t get it through my head that summer’s over. |
1.1979 |
0.04826 |
96 |
80 |
13 |
3 |
2459 |
Why did you leave her at the alter? First I had cold feet, now I think it all went to my head. |
1.1979 |
0.04826 |
96 |
80 |
13 |
3 |
2460 |
It's hard to explain soft. |
1.1979 |
0.05048 |
96 |
81 |
11 |
4 |
2461 |
I have this recurring dream about a cherry. |
1.1979 |
0.05261 |
96 |
82 |
9 |
5 |
2462 |
Then she told me I was too vanilla for her. |
1.1979 |
0.04348 |
96 |
78 |
17 |
1 |
2463 |
Our company has some strange requirements for getting ahead. |
1.1978 |
0.04745 |
91 |
75 |
14 |
2 |
2464 |
And, they also used to say I don't have good humor. |
1.1978 |
0.04480 |
91 |
74 |
16 |
1 |
2465 |
Sometimes the heat gets to be too much for me, you know? |
1.1978 |
0.04745 |
91 |
75 |
14 |
2 |
2466 |
I'm not sure I should share this with you... It's kind of twisted. |
1.1978 |
0.04996 |
91 |
76 |
12 |
3 |
2467 |
It's really hard being a cake cone in a waffle cone world. |
1.1978 |
0.04745 |
91 |
75 |
14 |
2 |
2468 |
Every time I try to qualify for Jeopardy I have a brain freeze. |
1.1978 |
0.04199 |
91 |
73 |
18 |
0 |
2469 |
I mean if I'm so "sweet," why can't I ever get a second date? |
1.1978 |
0.04996 |
91 |
76 |
12 |
3 |
2470 |
It's natural for cream to rise to the top; it's the swirl we have to get to the bottom of. |
1.1978 |
0.04745 |
91 |
75 |
14 |
2 |
2471 |
I’m feeling so whipped lately. |
1.1978 |
0.05463 |
91 |
78 |
8 |
5 |
2472 |
I'm afraid it's a meltdown! |
1.1978 |
0.04480 |
91 |
74 |
16 |
1 |
2473 |
...And that's why I hate summer. |
1.1978 |
0.04745 |
91 |
75 |
14 |
2 |
2474 |
I’m having trouble getting hard. |
1.1978 |
0.04199 |
91 |
73 |
18 |
0 |
2475 |
Doc, I feel like a real shithead. |
1.1978 |
0.05682 |
91 |
79 |
6 |
6 |
2476 |
I have this recurring dream of being dipped in chocolate. |
1.1977 |
0.05183 |
86 |
72 |
11 |
3 |
2477 |
People say I leave them feeling cold. |
1.1977 |
0.04912 |
86 |
71 |
13 |
2 |
2478 |
People keep asking me if I am Dan Ackroyd. |
1.1977 |
0.04912 |
86 |
71 |
13 |
2 |
2479 |
I can’t get that horrible tune out of my head! |
1.1977 |
0.04912 |
86 |
71 |
13 |
2 |
2480 |
How can I speak freely when I have a splitting ice cream headache and there's a giant fried egg on the floor. |
1.1977 |
0.05441 |
86 |
73 |
9 |
4 |
2481 |
I have this dream in which I see this huge tongue approaching and I can’t escape. |
1.1977 |
0.05441 |
86 |
73 |
9 |
4 |
2482 |
I aways feel like a big dip. |
1.1977 |
0.05687 |
86 |
74 |
7 |
5 |
2483 |
My mom's a queen and dad's a conehead. |
1.1977 |
0.04625 |
86 |
70 |
15 |
1 |
2484 |
Dr.,I‘m worried… I think I’ve gone soft in the head! |
1.1977 |
0.04625 |
86 |
70 |
15 |
1 |
2485 |
I’m worried people are already forgetting about me. |
1.1977 |
0.04912 |
86 |
71 |
13 |
2 |
2486 |
My father was lactose intolerant. |
1.1975 |
0.04785 |
81 |
66 |
14 |
1 |
2487 |
So, you are here because you are about to melt down… |
1.1975 |
0.05098 |
81 |
67 |
12 |
2 |
2488 |
She says I’m too vanilla. How is that even possible? |
1.1975 |
0.05098 |
81 |
67 |
12 |
2 |
2489 |
I have this tune I just can't get out of my head. |
1.1974 |
0.05626 |
76 |
64 |
9 |
3 |
2490 |
Frozen yogurt. I hate it when I hear it. |
1.1974 |
0.05305 |
76 |
63 |
11 |
2 |
2491 |
I feel like I'm starting to have a meltdown. |
1.1967 |
0.04454 |
122 |
103 |
14 |
5 |
2492 |
Drumstick is so handsome with the chocolate shell and nuts... he has it all. |
1.1966 |
0.04247 |
117 |
97 |
17 |
3 |
2493 |
Is it normal for me to be in love with a sherbet? |
1.1964 |
0.04718 |
112 |
95 |
12 |
5 |
2494 |
Sometimes I feel like such a drip. |
1.1963 |
0.04491 |
107 |
89 |
15 |
3 |
2495 |
Mr. Softee! Mr. Softee! Mr. Softee was my father — I am Charles. |
1.1963 |
0.04290 |
107 |
88 |
17 |
2 |
2496 |
I just hear the theme from the sting...over and over. |
1.1963 |
0.04683 |
107 |
90 |
13 |
4 |
2497 |
I want to be loved for my body and not just for my head. |
1.1963 |
0.04290 |
107 |
88 |
17 |
2 |
2498 |
I feel I’m a little soft. |
1.1961 |
0.05031 |
102 |
87 |
10 |
5 |
2499 |
Doc, don't tell me you left the heat on... |
1.1961 |
0.04629 |
102 |
85 |
14 |
3 |
2500 |
It wasn't meant to be, she's lactose intolerant. |
1.1961 |
0.04629 |
102 |
85 |
14 |
3 |
2501 |
And then he said: "Takes a licking but keeps on ticking. |
1.1961 |
0.04415 |
102 |
84 |
16 |
2 |
2502 |
My biggest fear is global warming |
1.1961 |
0.04415 |
102 |
84 |
16 |
2 |
2503 |
I have this recurring dream that I’m on Saturday Night Live |
1.1961 |
0.04415 |
102 |
84 |
16 |
2 |
2504 |
Soft serve. Why do they have to call me soft serve? |
1.1961 |
0.04189 |
102 |
83 |
18 |
1 |
2505 |
I never minded when the ladies called Mr. Softee
until I realized they weren't referring to my head. |
1.1961 |
0.04835 |
102 |
86 |
12 |
4 |
2506 |
These thoughts of revenge are swirling around in my head. |
1.1961 |
0.04629 |
102 |
85 |
14 |
3 |
2507 |
My life isn't worth a lick! |
1.1961 |
0.04415 |
102 |
84 |
16 |
2 |
2508 |
I know I haven’t dated in awhile but when she said she couldn’t wait to lick me, I just fell apart. |
1.1961 |
0.04835 |
102 |
86 |
12 |
4 |
2509 |
I just find it hard to believe that licking me is a viable treatment |
1.1959 |
0.04780 |
97 |
81 |
13 |
3 |
2510 |
I have never accepted my mango taste |
1.1959 |
0.04780 |
97 |
81 |
13 |
3 |
2511 |
I feel like I'm melting. |
1.1959 |
0.04550 |
97 |
80 |
15 |
2 |
2512 |
I hate it when people ask if they can lick my hair. |
1.1959 |
0.04308 |
97 |
79 |
17 |
1 |
2513 |
They all say I’m soft. |
1.1959 |
0.04780 |
97 |
81 |
13 |
3 |
2514 |
You know, being an ice cream cone head is not all it’s whipped up to be. |
1.1959 |
0.04308 |
97 |
79 |
17 |
1 |
2515 |
I want to transition to a real Conehead. |
1.1959 |
0.04550 |
97 |
80 |
15 |
2 |
2516 |
How would you like it if people called you Egghead? |
1.1959 |
0.04051 |
97 |
78 |
19 |
0 |
2517 |
I get depressed when summer ends. |
1.1959 |
0.04550 |
97 |
80 |
15 |
2 |
2518 |
I keep losing friends to global warming but I don't think the science proves anything yet. |
1.1959 |
0.04780 |
97 |
81 |
13 |
3 |
2519 |
Clearly a case of brain freeze |
1.1959 |
0.04780 |
97 |
81 |
13 |
3 |
2520 |
It’s a Sunday kind of love. |
1.1959 |
0.04308 |
97 |
79 |
17 |
1 |
2521 |
I'm afraid my wife thinks I'm vanilla... |
1.1959 |
0.05000 |
97 |
82 |
11 |
4 |
2522 |
Doc, I hear that song more than 2000 times a day.
Of course I'm getting a little soft in the head. |
1.1959 |
0.04780 |
97 |
81 |
13 |
3 |
2523 |
Sprinkles…I just keep seeing sprinkles! |
1.1959 |
0.04780 |
97 |
81 |
13 |
3 |
2524 |
plain vanilla meltdown |
1.1958 |
0.03877 |
143 |
119 |
20 |
4 |
2525 |
The rug is an egg and the curtains remind me of supressed trauma from my youth. |
1.1957 |
0.05407 |
92 |
79 |
8 |
5 |
2526 |
So I come home early from work one day and there she is, in bed with a waffle cone! |
1.1957 |
0.04946 |
92 |
77 |
12 |
3 |
2527 |
So you have nightmares about your mother being licked
. |
1.1957 |
0.04698 |
92 |
76 |
14 |
2 |
2528 |
I'm worried I've gone soft." |
1.1957 |
0.04437 |
92 |
75 |
16 |
1 |
2529 |
When I was young everyone loved vanilla! |
1.1957 |
0.04946 |
92 |
77 |
12 |
3 |
2530 |
Mr. Frosty is my Father, please call me Bill. |
1.1957 |
0.04946 |
92 |
77 |
12 |
3 |
2531 |
I keep asking myself: Is it too much, or just enough? |
1.1957 |
0.05182 |
92 |
78 |
10 |
4 |
2532 |
No, Doc, I scream. |
1.1957 |
0.04698 |
92 |
76 |
14 |
2 |
2533 |
It was supposed to be chocolate, not vanilla. |
1.1957 |
0.04159 |
92 |
74 |
18 |
0 |
2534 |
Being the Ice Cream Man isn't as fulfilling as you might think. |
1.1957 |
0.04698 |
92 |
76 |
14 |
2 |
2535 |
This bee hive doo has got to go. |
1.1957 |
0.04946 |
92 |
77 |
12 |
3 |
2536 |
I feel I should soft serve a higher purpose. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2537 |
Why Lachlan and not me? |
1.1954 |
0.05383 |
87 |
74 |
9 |
4 |
2538 |
Jimmies. Sprinkles. What’s the point, you know? |
1.1954 |
0.05383 |
87 |
74 |
9 |
4 |
2539 |
The Bikram Yoga instructor called me a hot mess. |
1.1954 |
0.05383 |
87 |
74 |
9 |
4 |
2540 |
Sometimes it feels like it's all in my head. |
1.1954 |
0.04578 |
87 |
71 |
15 |
1 |
2541 |
I can take the ridicule—it’s the brain freeze that gets me down. |
1.1954 |
0.05128 |
87 |
73 |
11 |
3 |
2542 |
My head’s in such a swirl. |
1.1954 |
0.04861 |
87 |
72 |
13 |
2 |
2543 |
I’m worried the success is starting to go to my head. |
1.1954 |
0.04578 |
87 |
71 |
15 |
1 |
2544 |
I fear she is in it for my head. Who knows if she really loves me. |
1.1951 |
0.05041 |
82 |
68 |
12 |
2 |
2545 |
What seems to be the problem, Mr. Conehead? Do you have "brain-freeze"? |
1.1951 |
0.04107 |
123 |
102 |
18 |
3 |
2546 |
Doctor, I can't feel my legs. |
1.1951 |
0.05041 |
82 |
68 |
12 |
2 |
2547 |
I don't understand why I have chronic brain freeze. |
1.1951 |
0.05331 |
82 |
69 |
10 |
3 |
2548 |
It’s always the same dream. I’m in sixth grade math class dressed as an ice cream sandwich. |
1.1949 |
0.04214 |
118 |
98 |
17 |
3 |
2549 |
I really should have eaten before I started my next session. |
1.1948 |
0.05242 |
77 |
64 |
11 |
2 |
2550 |
Everyone thinks I'm just a big Softee. |
1.1948 |
0.04905 |
77 |
63 |
13 |
1 |
2551 |
Can't get that song out of my head |
1.1948 |
0.05558 |
77 |
65 |
9 |
3 |
2552 |
Mr. Peanut gets dates. Tony the Tiger gets dates. The Jolly Green Giant gets dates... |
1.1948 |
0.05857 |
77 |
66 |
7 |
4 |
2553 |
My mother was a softie. |
1.1948 |
0.05242 |
77 |
64 |
11 |
2 |
2554 |
Viagra and therapy haven't helped... I'm still Mr. Softee. |
1.1948 |
0.05857 |
77 |
66 |
7 |
4 |
2555 |
I can’t melt down |
1.1948 |
0.04543 |
77 |
62 |
15 |
0 |
2556 |
. . . and unexplained headaches. |
1.1948 |
0.05242 |
77 |
64 |
11 |
2 |
2557 |
Lately, I can’t tolerate myself. |
1.1948 |
0.05857 |
77 |
66 |
7 |
4 |
2558 |
off the top of my head, I can’t think of a reason for my latest meltdown |
1.1948 |
0.04905 |
77 |
63 |
13 |
1 |
2559 |
What's the scoop, Doc? |
1.1947 |
0.04508 |
113 |
95 |
14 |
4 |
2560 |
"...and then there's Gelato!" |
1.1947 |
0.03947 |
113 |
92 |
20 |
1 |
2561 |
It's hard being a softee in a hard-pack world. |
1.1947 |
0.04142 |
113 |
93 |
18 |
2 |
2562 |
My wife left me. She says I'm too vanilla. |
1.1944 |
0.04453 |
108 |
90 |
15 |
3 |
2563 |
I just freeze up when I think about it... |
1.1944 |
0.04453 |
108 |
90 |
15 |
3 |
2564 |
My father always said I was soft. |
1.1944 |
0.04254 |
108 |
89 |
17 |
2 |
2565 |
I just want to twist like I did last summer! |
1.1944 |
0.04254 |
108 |
89 |
17 |
2 |
2566 |
I don't know doc, it's all a swirl up there. |
1.1944 |
0.04643 |
108 |
91 |
13 |
4 |
2567 |
I feel so plain. |
1.1942 |
0.04791 |
103 |
87 |
12 |
4 |
2568 |
My girlfriend hates that I have to be Mr. Softee All. The. Time. |
1.1942 |
0.04376 |
103 |
85 |
16 |
2 |
2569 |
I keep attracting women for the wrong reasons. |
1.1942 |
0.04791 |
103 |
87 |
12 |
4 |
2570 |
The headache just never goes away. |
1.1942 |
0.04376 |
103 |
85 |
16 |
2 |
2571 |
I don’t mind the way it looks, it’s the constant licking that is driving me crazy. |
1.1942 |
0.04588 |
103 |
86 |
14 |
3 |
2572 |
Those Ice Cream Headaches are getting to me! |
1.1942 |
0.04791 |
103 |
87 |
12 |
4 |
2573 |
People say I’m cold-blooded. |
1.1942 |
0.04376 |
103 |
85 |
16 |
2 |
2574 |
No, it feels like more than a brain freeze. |
1.1942 |
0.04588 |
103 |
86 |
14 |
3 |
2575 |
I feel like I am on the verge of a meltdown, doctor. |
1.1942 |
0.04588 |
103 |
86 |
14 |
3 |
2576 |
Whenever I close my eyes, Doc… it’s all I see… my Uncle’s tongue. Licking! Licking! Licking! |
1.1942 |
0.04153 |
103 |
84 |
18 |
1 |
2577 |
I feel like everyone wants to take a lick at me! |
1.1940 |
0.04554 |
134 |
116 |
10 |
8 |
2578 |
It's just that the other coneheads think I'm soft. |
1.1939 |
0.04268 |
98 |
80 |
17 |
1 |
2579 |
And then I wake up screaming. |
1.1939 |
0.04953 |
98 |
83 |
11 |
4 |
2580 |
Can you switch me to a different antidepressant? My wife keeps calling me Mr. Softee. |
1.1939 |
0.04735 |
98 |
82 |
13 |
3 |
2581 |
Do you know how it feels to constantly melt down |
1.1939 |
0.04735 |
98 |
82 |
13 |
3 |
2582 |
My life is meaningless -- I'm not gluten-free, dairy-free, or organic. |
1.1939 |
0.04735 |
98 |
82 |
13 |
3 |
2583 |
I’m just plain old boring vanilla, nobody wants me |
1.1939 |
0.04508 |
98 |
81 |
15 |
2 |
2584 |
My wife told me to come, she thinks I am identifying too much with the Cone-heads on SNL."
Tracy Brown, San Rafael, CA |
1.1939 |
0.04508 |
98 |
81 |
15 |
2 |
2585 |
I hate this Summer, because I just keep having these random meltdowns! |
1.1939 |
0.04268 |
98 |
80 |
17 |
1 |
2586 |
Sometimes I just feel frozen out. |
1.1939 |
0.04268 |
98 |
80 |
17 |
1 |
2587 |
Sometimes I feel like my head is melting, you know? |
1.1939 |
0.04508 |
98 |
81 |
15 |
2 |
2588 |
I wanted to bring the Coneheads back to #SNL with a new twist, but they just weren’t interested. |
1.1939 |
0.04735 |
98 |
82 |
13 |
3 |
2589 |
Am I a twist? A swirl? Or plain old soft serve? I’m so conflicted |
1.1939 |
0.04508 |
98 |
81 |
15 |
2 |
2590 |
I just feel myself dripping away ya know? |
1.1935 |
0.04394 |
93 |
76 |
16 |
1 |
2591 |
First it was Mr. Cone Head, then Mr. Softee. I am about to have a meltdown. |
1.1935 |
0.04897 |
93 |
78 |
12 |
3 |
2592 |
Sure, they’re always happy to see me at first, but it never lasts long. |
1.1935 |
0.04897 |
93 |
78 |
12 |
3 |
2593 |
Is this It, doc, or is there icing on the cake? |
1.1935 |
0.04652 |
93 |
77 |
14 |
2 |
2594 |
My wife keeps accusing me of waffling. |
1.1935 |
0.04394 |
93 |
76 |
16 |
1 |
2595 |
I think antifreeze will be more effective than antidepressants |
1.1935 |
0.04652 |
93 |
77 |
14 |
2 |
2596 |
Yeah, but they think I'm ALWAYS 'Mister Softee' ... |
1.1935 |
0.04394 |
93 |
76 |
16 |
1 |
2597 |
I've looked everywhere and just can't find the right hat. |
1.1935 |
0.04652 |
93 |
77 |
14 |
2 |
2598 |
Soft in the head? Thanks, Doc, for your insight. |
1.1935 |
0.04652 |
93 |
77 |
14 |
2 |
2599 |
First, could you maybe turn up the air conditioner? |
1.1935 |
0.04119 |
93 |
75 |
18 |
0 |
2600 |
Then she said there was an unmistakable chill in our relationship. |
1.1935 |
0.05130 |
93 |
79 |
10 |
4 |
2601 |
After that, I wasn't a softie anymore. |
1.1935 |
0.04652 |
93 |
77 |
14 |
2 |
2602 |
I had that dream again. The one where I scream, you scream, we all scream. |
1.1935 |
0.05130 |
93 |
79 |
10 |
4 |
2603 |
Most days I can’t leave the house without sprinkles |
1.1935 |
0.04394 |
93 |
76 |
16 |
1 |
2604 |
I sick of being called cone head |
1.1935 |
0.04394 |
93 |
76 |
16 |
1 |
2605 |
It might be a good idea to turn down the temperature first. |
1.1935 |
0.04394 |
93 |
76 |
16 |
1 |
2606 |
Do you think my brain freeze will ever pass? |
1.1935 |
0.04394 |
93 |
76 |
16 |
1 |
2607 |
It's been so long. I can't even remember the last time I got dipped." |
1.1935 |
0.05353 |
93 |
80 |
8 |
5 |
2608 |
Doc, you think I'm headed for a meltdown? |
1.1935 |
0.04119 |
93 |
75 |
18 |
0 |
2609 |
It's so unfair, she always says I'm a hot head! |
1.1933 |
0.04182 |
119 |
99 |
17 |
3 |
2610 |
I cant seem to ignore climate warming |
1.1933 |
0.04182 |
119 |
99 |
17 |
3 |
2611 |
I fell in love with a diabetic. |
1.1932 |
0.05566 |
88 |
76 |
7 |
5 |
2612 |
Saturday Night Live? I loved the Conehead skits. |
1.1932 |
0.05075 |
88 |
74 |
11 |
3 |
2613 |
I really liked the old cone head better. |
1.1932 |
0.05075 |
88 |
74 |
11 |
3 |
2614 |
And I feel inferior whenever people mention the Italian gelato... |
1.1932 |
0.05075 |
88 |
74 |
11 |
3 |
2615 |
They've replaced me with Ben and Jerry's! |
1.1932 |
0.05075 |
88 |
74 |
11 |
3 |
2616 |
There's this jingle I just can't get out of my head. |
1.1932 |
0.04810 |
88 |
73 |
13 |
2 |
2617 |
…and, every time, doc, my hard won victories just seem to melt away. |
1.1932 |
0.04531 |
88 |
72 |
15 |
1 |
2618 |
And then she melted... |
1.1932 |
0.04531 |
88 |
72 |
15 |
1 |
2619 |
I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of a meltdown. |
1.1932 |
0.04810 |
88 |
73 |
13 |
2 |
2620 |
Then some guy scooped her up right in front of me. |
1.1932 |
0.04810 |
88 |
73 |
13 |
2 |
2621 |
I feel like I have brain freeze. |
1.1932 |
0.05566 |
88 |
76 |
7 |
5 |
2622 |
I must be anxious; my thoughts seem to swirl and freeze. |
1.1932 |
0.04810 |
88 |
73 |
13 |
2 |
2623 |
...and then the machine broke. |
1.1932 |
0.04531 |
88 |
72 |
15 |
1 |
2624 |
Mainly it's the darn Brain Freeze I can't seem to shake. |
1.1930 |
0.04471 |
114 |
96 |
14 |
4 |
2625 |
I hear the whispers. "Mechanical malfunction." What does that even mean? |
1.1928 |
0.04985 |
83 |
69 |
12 |
2 |
2626 |
Everybody thinks I'm a softy . |
1.1928 |
0.04681 |
83 |
68 |
14 |
1 |
2627 |
Don't soft serve me your diagnosis, Doc. |
1.1928 |
0.04681 |
83 |
68 |
14 |
1 |
2628 |
Do you think I’m showing signs of vanility? |
1.1928 |
0.05272 |
83 |
70 |
10 |
3 |
2629 |
All I've ever wanted was to be hugged, but all I get is licks. |
1.1928 |
0.05272 |
83 |
70 |
10 |
3 |
2630 |
Sometimes I feel like I'm just melting into the background. |
1.1928 |
0.04681 |
83 |
68 |
14 |
1 |
2631 |
The wife says I’m too vanilla.” |
1.1928 |
0.04681 |
83 |
68 |
14 |
1 |
2632 |
I find myself increasingly concerned about global warming. |
1.1928 |
0.05272 |
83 |
70 |
10 |
3 |
2633 |
So why medication rather than long-term therapy? |
1.1928 |
0.05544 |
83 |
71 |
8 |
4 |
2634 |
I mean, ‘conehead’? Really? |
1.1928 |
0.04985 |
83 |
69 |
12 |
2 |
2635 |
And I’ve been in a brain freeze ever since |
1.1928 |
0.05272 |
83 |
70 |
10 |
3 |
2636 |
The cold hard facts are no match for the charm of the cherry on top |
1.1927 |
0.04416 |
109 |
91 |
15 |
3 |
2637 |
I start thinking and my head hurts, like my brain is freezing! |
1.1927 |
0.04416 |
109 |
91 |
15 |
3 |
2638 |
You can't tell by looking at me, but I feel empty inside. |
1.1927 |
0.04604 |
109 |
92 |
13 |
4 |
2639 |
Everybody's hiring chocolate. |
1.1927 |
0.04219 |
109 |
90 |
17 |
2 |
2640 |
I’ve got a lot swirling around my head. |
1.1927 |
0.04416 |
109 |
91 |
15 |
3 |
2641 |
My father always called me soft… |
1.1927 |
0.04219 |
109 |
90 |
17 |
2 |
2642 |
I am not a cone head, you are! |
1.1923 |
0.04548 |
104 |
87 |
14 |
3 |
2643 |
My brain is really iced! |
1.1923 |
0.04117 |
104 |
85 |
18 |
1 |
2644 |
I'm learning acceptance. I don't give a lick. |
1.1923 |
0.05492 |
78 |
66 |
9 |
3 |
2645 |
When can I get my depression licked? |
1.1923 |
0.04848 |
78 |
64 |
13 |
1 |
2646 |
I just keep freezing up. |
1.1923 |
0.04338 |
104 |
86 |
16 |
2 |
2647 |
I feel sad that I never made it as a tennis pro. |
1.1923 |
0.05180 |
78 |
65 |
11 |
2 |
2648 |
All my life I’ve been known as a smoothie but I’ve always identified as a tall non fat latte with extra whip |
1.1923 |
0.04941 |
104 |
89 |
10 |
5 |
2649 |
Ben and Jerry are fucking each other. |
1.1923 |
0.04941 |
104 |
89 |
10 |
5 |
2650 |
I appreciate the offer, doc, but shouldn’t I learn to lick my own problems |
1.1919 |
0.04691 |
99 |
83 |
13 |
3 |
2651 |
It's very depressing to always be told that I'm soft in the head. |
1.1919 |
0.04466 |
99 |
82 |
15 |
2 |
2652 |
Doc, I just don’t think I’ll ever get that big promotion. The other fellas at the office are all classic double or triple scoopers. Compared to them, I look soft. |
1.1919 |
0.04906 |
99 |
84 |
11 |
4 |
2653 |
My head's just been swirling lately. |
1.1919 |
0.04229 |
99 |
81 |
17 |
1 |
2654 |
I know, I know. Masculinity is in crisis. But I've always been a softie. |
1.1919 |
0.04691 |
99 |
83 |
13 |
3 |
2655 |
All my life, no mater what I do, I'm always Mr. Softee.” |
1.1919 |
0.04906 |
99 |
84 |
11 |
4 |
2656 |
Doc, it feels like my brain is constantly frozen. |
1.1919 |
0.04229 |
99 |
81 |
17 |
1 |
2657 |
I’m okay with the bow tie and the formal gloves - it’s the dippy hat that torments me. |
1.1919 |
0.04691 |
99 |
83 |
13 |
3 |
2658 |
I keep hearing the same song, over and over… |
1.1919 |
0.04691 |
99 |
83 |
13 |
3 |
2659 |
Could we try something different this time. This one made me the center of attention but did little for my self esteem. |
1.1919 |
0.04691 |
99 |
83 |
13 |
3 |
2660 |
Then she left a scooper on the counter. Right where I could see it. |
1.1919 |
0.04466 |
99 |
82 |
15 |
2 |
2661 |
But I always wanted to be a prosecutor |
1.1919 |
0.04691 |
99 |
83 |
13 |
3 |
2662 |
I know they say you are what you eat, but I never thought it would go this far. |
1.1918 |
0.05740 |
73 |
62 |
8 |
3 |
2663 |
I try to comfort myself with the knowledge that at least I'm not bald |
1.1918 |
0.05740 |
73 |
62 |
8 |
3 |
2664 |
I know. I know. Sometimes a softy is just an ice cream. |
1.1918 |
0.06062 |
73 |
63 |
6 |
4 |
2665 |
I don't want to whipped anymore |
1.1915 |
0.04607 |
94 |
78 |
14 |
2 |
2666 |
I consistently get brain freeze. |
1.1915 |
0.04607 |
94 |
78 |
14 |
2 |
2667 |
It’s hard to get dates when your name is Mr. Softee. |
1.1915 |
0.05079 |
94 |
80 |
10 |
4 |
2668 |
My life story is chilling! |
1.1915 |
0.04351 |
94 |
77 |
16 |
1 |
2669 |
And they always expect me to be the one with a cool head in a crisis. |
1.1915 |
0.04607 |
94 |
78 |
14 |
2 |
2670 |
You were wrong, Doc! Cooler heads DON’T prevail. |
1.1915 |
0.05300 |
94 |
81 |
8 |
5 |
2671 |
I'm learning to set boundaries when people want to lick my hair. |
1.1915 |
0.04351 |
94 |
77 |
16 |
1 |
2672 |
Sometimes I feel like I’m just melting into oblivion. |
1.1915 |
0.05079 |
94 |
80 |
10 |
4 |
2673 |
"Then she said our love making is so "vanilla'". Vanilla? Who is Vanilla? I'm Pistachio!" |
1.1915 |
0.04849 |
94 |
79 |
12 |
3 |
2674 |
Doc, I'm afraid my thoughts are getting a bit too frosty lately. |
1.1915 |
0.04351 |
94 |
77 |
16 |
1 |
2675 |
Just once I want to be hard-headed. |
1.1915 |
0.05300 |
94 |
81 |
8 |
5 |
2676 |
Everyone thinks I'm chill. But I don't FEEL chill. |
1.1915 |
0.04080 |
94 |
76 |
18 |
0 |
2677 |
I’m just having a hard time realizing summer is over. |
1.1915 |
0.04607 |
94 |
78 |
14 |
2 |
2678 |
I’m not into licking fetishes but I keep meeting people who are |
1.1915 |
0.04351 |
94 |
77 |
16 |
1 |
2679 |
I know cooler heads should prevail, but there are limits. |
1.1915 |
0.04607 |
94 |
78 |
14 |
2 |
2680 |
My descent into soft-serve began with cotton candy. |
1.1910 |
0.05270 |
89 |
76 |
9 |
4 |
2681 |
Father was a Toughy. |
1.1910 |
0.04485 |
89 |
73 |
15 |
1 |
2682 |
So you think if I get a blender and add milk I can shake this brain freeze? |
1.1910 |
0.05270 |
89 |
76 |
9 |
4 |
2683 |
But how can I ever get a date when my name is Mr. Softee? |
1.1910 |
0.05022 |
89 |
75 |
11 |
3 |
2684 |
I'm just don't think I can take one more licking, Doc! |
1.1910 |
0.04761 |
89 |
74 |
13 |
2 |
2685 |
Doc, I don't want to be pushed around, but I'm such a softee. |
1.1910 |
0.05270 |
89 |
76 |
9 |
4 |
2686 |
I’m really tired of being called Dairy King! |
1.1910 |
0.05022 |
89 |
75 |
11 |
3 |
2687 |
Does Kanye like ice cream? |
1.1910 |
0.04485 |
89 |
73 |
15 |
1 |
2688 |
It's either existential dread or a brain freeze. |
1.1910 |
0.04761 |
89 |
74 |
13 |
2 |
2689 |
I'm not sure what the point is. |
1.1910 |
0.04485 |
89 |
73 |
15 |
1 |
2690 |
She was just like my mom, so cold to me. |
1.1910 |
0.04485 |
89 |
73 |
15 |
1 |
2691 |
Global warming, lactose intolerance, Ozempic... I just need a break! |
1.1910 |
0.04485 |
89 |
73 |
15 |
1 |
2692 |
Hey Doc, sometimes I lose my head when I get heated, I don't know if you can see it |
1.1909 |
0.04565 |
110 |
93 |
13 |
4 |
2693 |
I'm telling you, doctor, they're all screaming for me! |
1.1905 |
0.04631 |
84 |
69 |
14 |
1 |
2694 |
Everyone assumes I’m Jewish just because my last name’s Cone. |
1.1905 |
0.05482 |
84 |
72 |
8 |
4 |
2695 |
I don’t know why I’m troubled; I always have a cool head. |
1.1905 |
0.04300 |
105 |
87 |
16 |
2 |
2696 |
When I lay my head down at night, all I hear is the screaming. |
1.1905 |
0.04631 |
84 |
69 |
14 |
1 |
2697 |
Chocolate, of course, but when it comes to sprinkles I get all confused. |
1.1905 |
0.04931 |
84 |
70 |
12 |
2 |
2698 |
How in the world can my girl friend call me a hothead? |
1.1905 |
0.04707 |
105 |
89 |
12 |
4 |
2699 |
Ben? Jerry? Baskin? Robbin? I mean, who am I really? |
1.1905 |
0.04508 |
105 |
88 |
14 |
3 |
2700 |
Needless to say, "Mrs" Softee is not at all amused by the irony. |
1.1905 |
0.04897 |
105 |
90 |
10 |
5 |
2701 |
The ironic thing is I'm lactose intolerant. |
1.1905 |
0.04931 |
84 |
70 |
12 |
2 |
2702 |
I wouldn't say freeze, per se.... |
1.1905 |
0.04310 |
84 |
68 |
16 |
0 |
2703 |
No, you can't have 'just a taste'. |
1.1900 |
0.05064 |
100 |
86 |
9 |
5 |
2704 |
I’m terrified of dogs, children, and global warming. |
1.1900 |
0.04648 |
100 |
84 |
13 |
3 |
2705 |
I have this incredible urge to be licked and consumed. Am I sex fiend Doc? |
1.1900 |
0.04648 |
100 |
84 |
13 |
3 |
2706 |
They think I am plain vanilla! |
1.1900 |
0.04191 |
100 |
82 |
17 |
1 |
2707 |
Doctor, I feel like I’ve got a brain freeze |
1.1900 |
0.04861 |
100 |
85 |
11 |
4 |
2708 |
And then she said, "You are what you eat." |
1.1900 |
0.04426 |
100 |
83 |
15 |
2 |
2709 |
I have this constant fear that everyone around me is lactose intolerant. |
1.1900 |
0.04191 |
100 |
82 |
17 |
1 |
2710 |
I have this constant ice cream headache. |
1.1900 |
0.04648 |
100 |
84 |
13 |
3 |
2711 |
I’m terrified of jimmy’s |
1.1900 |
0.04191 |
100 |
82 |
17 |
1 |
2712 |
What if I’d rather be the “bad boy” type that the soft and sweet guy? |
1.1900 |
0.04191 |
100 |
82 |
17 |
1 |
2713 |
Do you offer conitive flavoral therapy?” |
1.1900 |
0.04648 |
100 |
84 |
13 |
3 |
2714 |
I think down deep there's a scoop in me somewhere. |
1.1900 |
0.04861 |
100 |
85 |
11 |
4 |
2715 |
And then things took a dip. |
1.1900 |
0.04426 |
100 |
83 |
15 |
2 |
2716 |
Tell me more about this moment when your brain froze |
1.1900 |
0.04648 |
100 |
84 |
13 |
3 |
2717 |
I can’t be everything to everybody. |
1.1900 |
0.04426 |
100 |
83 |
15 |
2 |
2718 |
My heads in a swirl, doc |
1.1900 |
0.05064 |
100 |
86 |
9 |
5 |
2719 |
All of my softness is considered weakness |
1.1899 |
0.05120 |
79 |
66 |
11 |
2 |
2720 |
I just don't feel like being
a softy anymore ! |
1.1899 |
0.04792 |
79 |
65 |
13 |
1 |
2721 |
I don't know why, but I keep getting brain freeze. |
1.1899 |
0.05428 |
79 |
67 |
9 |
3 |
2722 |
You have NO idea of the upkeep for hair like this. |
1.1899 |
0.05428 |
79 |
67 |
9 |
3 |
2723 |
And on Sunday I wear my banana split. |
1.1899 |
0.05120 |
79 |
66 |
11 |
2 |
2724 |
I feel like such a failure...my mother was a baked Alaska at Delmonico's. |
1.1899 |
0.05428 |
79 |
67 |
9 |
3 |
2725 |
My mother was very cold. |
1.1899 |
0.04792 |
79 |
65 |
13 |
1 |
2726 |
The brain freeze is unbearable. |
1.1897 |
0.03855 |
116 |
95 |
20 |
1 |
2727 |
It's not easy always being soft. |
1.1895 |
0.04310 |
95 |
78 |
16 |
1 |
2728 |
All I ever hear is Dairy Queen. Why can’t I be a Dairy King? |
1.1895 |
0.05030 |
95 |
81 |
10 |
4 |
2729 |
If I eat too fast, I get a headache. |
1.1895 |
0.04802 |
95 |
80 |
12 |
3 |
2730 |
The real problem is this constant headache. |
1.1895 |
0.04563 |
95 |
79 |
14 |
2 |
2731 |
I just can’t seem to focus on anything nowadays. It’s like my head is constantly spinning. |
1.1895 |
0.04802 |
95 |
80 |
12 |
3 |
2732 |
My childhood was a rocky road. My father was always cold and said I was too soft. |
1.1895 |
0.04310 |
95 |
78 |
16 |
1 |
2733 |
Does it feel like you’re swirling or spiraling out of control? |
1.1895 |
0.04802 |
95 |
80 |
12 |
3 |
2734 |
My father says I'm soft. |
1.1894 |
0.04043 |
132 |
111 |
17 |
4 |
2735 |
I don’t mind the licking, as long as I am allowed to lick them back. |
1.1892 |
0.05331 |
74 |
62 |
10 |
2 |
2736 |
One screamed, then another, then they all started screaming… |
1.1892 |
0.05667 |
74 |
63 |
8 |
3 |
2737 |
These twisted thoughts swirling around my head make me want to scream |
1.1892 |
0.06287 |
74 |
65 |
4 |
5 |
2738 |
It’s just not fair because if I scream, then I’m a narcissist. |
1.1892 |
0.05985 |
74 |
64 |
6 |
4 |
2739 |
It all started when I misheard my mom say "Fairy Queen" |
1.1889 |
0.04713 |
90 |
75 |
13 |
2 |
2740 |
I wish when we made love that she wouldn’t call me by formal name. |
1.1889 |
0.04440 |
90 |
74 |
15 |
1 |
2741 |
My boyfriend says I'm way too vanilla. |
1.1889 |
0.04713 |
90 |
75 |
13 |
2 |
2742 |
My wife complains that I'm too self-indulgent. |
1.1889 |
0.04440 |
90 |
74 |
15 |
1 |
2743 |
I need to understand why my mother was so cold to me. |
1.1889 |
0.04713 |
90 |
75 |
13 |
2 |
2744 |
I'm just not feeling frosty. |
1.1889 |
0.04713 |
90 |
75 |
13 |
2 |
2745 |
My love life is terrible. Every time my wife kisses me,she gets a headache. |
1.1889 |
0.04970 |
90 |
76 |
11 |
3 |
2746 |
what the world needs now is "Let-Me-Lick-You" therapy |
1.1889 |
0.04970 |
90 |
76 |
11 |
3 |
2747 |
People say I look like my dad but I don't really know- he melted before I was born |
1.1889 |
0.04970 |
90 |
76 |
11 |
3 |
2748 |
That crazy bastard, Spumoni, makes me feel so plain. |
1.1889 |
0.04713 |
90 |
75 |
13 |
2 |
2749 |
She said I was just too soft to satisfy her. |
1.1889 |
0.05450 |
90 |
78 |
7 |
5 |
2750 |
My time is up?? My head hasn't even melted. |
1.1889 |
0.04970 |
90 |
76 |
11 |
3 |