Contest #867


Cartoon

867


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started -
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued -
Number of captions 6130
Number of responses 783397
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 I heard I’m being considered for a cabinet post. 1.7238 0.01914 1774 889 486 399
1 Before we get married I should tell you I have a woodpecker. 1.7223 0.01631 2650 1404 578 668
2 I got the job after the other guy got the axe. 1.7051 0.01864 1770 882 528 360
3 I'm the branch manager. 1.6814 0.01907 1695 878 479 338
4 It's the dress code for branch managers. 1.6811 0.02061 1339 662 442 235
5 Momma always told me I’d make a fine dresser. 1.6616 0.02472 981 516 281 184
6 Can you believe it? They’re making me branch manager! 1.6485 0.01490 2703 1453 747 503
7 I need to look professional. I don't want to get axed. 1.6362 0.01498 2603 1406 738 459
8 The interview went well, but they asked me if I'd be willing to relocate. 1.6361 0.01822 1734 929 507 298
9 I was chosen for the board. 1.6311 0.01888 1567 833 479 255
10 Before you ask,yes,I had help. 1.6276 0.02154 1203 643 365 195
11 Margie, I don’t care if your roots are showing, you’re beautiful!”! 1.6253 0.01931 1588 879 425 284
12 Once again. All dressed up and no place to go." 1.6093 0.02082 1295 715 371 209
13 Ive got an interview with branch management 1.6014 0.01906 1470 802 452 216
14 Either I'm tagged for removal or the logging crew is taking me out to a fancy steakhouse. 1.6010 0.01927 1461 804 436 221
15 It confuses the dogs. 1.5954 0.01406 2946 1695 748 503
16 What’s one more knot? 1.5942 0.01875 1523 842 457 224
17 A bow tie? And look ridiculous? 1.5913 0.01439 2750 1574 726 450
18 Why can't you find anything to wear? Did you look in your trunk?" 1.5855 0.01865 1515 843 457 215
19 First I was afraid...then I was petrified! 1.5821 0.01984 1474 864 362 248
20 It didn't help. She fell for a redwood. 1.5773 0.01936 1429 812 409 208
21 Does this tie make me look too deciduous? 1.5695 0.01520 2497 1489 594 414
22 I’m getting a place at the boardroom table! Oh, wait. Did they say “as”? 1.5547 0.01948 1381 806 384 191
23 Does this make my trunk look bigger? 1.5524 0.01951 1356 789 385 182
24 You won’t believe how long it took me to tie this. 1.5514 0.02693 769 464 186 119
25 Just dressing for success - fortune teller says I have a future in fine furniture. 1.5499 0.01882 1453 848 411 194
26 I want more respect from the dogs. 1.5426 0.02037 1196 695 353 148
27 I'm trying to be more poplar. 1.5398 0.02177 1067 628 302 137
28 First date. Tree hugger. 1.5348 0.02068 1178 698 330 150
29 I look shady without it 1.5304 0.01726 1578 915 489 174
30 They asked if I'd be willing to uproot.” 1.5304 0.01772 2059 1376 274 409
31 My arborist doesn't know how to do a bough tie. 1.5298 0.01875 1461 880 388 193
32 You're not going like THAT, are you? 1.5241 0.01791 1574 950 423 201
33 You'd better get with the gentrification program, or you're firewood. 1.5167 0.01914 1732 1170 229 333
34 You know how everybody ignores Arbor Day? Well, that's about to change. 1.5132 0.01894 1327 796 381 150
35 Fall is coming. It helps me feel less naked. 1.5094 0.01858 1380 833 391 156
36 I hope I’m not overdressed but I thought I’d go out on a limb 1.5067 0.01882 1336 808 379 149
37 Oh man, I didn’t realize we were working from home today 1.5040 0.01933 1260 764 357 139
38 I like it better than the yellow ribbon. What do you think? 1.5036 0.02210 975 594 271 110
39 Do you have the rings. 1.5022 0.01973 1380 885 297 198
40 Too sappy? 1.5015 0.02599 680 410 199 71
41 I'm going into the forest 2 days a week now. 1.4986 0.02624 714 444 184 86
42 I’m interviewing for a forest. 1.4970 0.01954 1161 696 353 112
43 I was promoted to branch manager. 1.4924 0.02119 1180 764 251 165
44 I’m auditioning for a formal garden. 1.4889 0.02154 1035 648 268 119
45 One of the squirrels is having his lady friend over. 1.4885 0.02115 1132 724 263 145
46 On Zoom they can't see that I'm not wearing pants. 1.4878 0.02237 1066 697 218 151
47 I have an interview for branch manager 1.4851 0.03908 336 217 75 44
48 It's not enough to be poplar. You want to look good too. 1.4846 0.02147 1073 684 258 131
49 I'm applying for a desk job. 1.4842 0.02305 884 553 234 97
50 I'm the new branch manager. 1.4836 0.02203 1065 692 231 142
51 What? My wife always makes me put on a tie when we see her branch of the family. 1.4835 0.02197 968 605 258 105
52 I got a job at the local branch. 1.4831 0.02183 1033 659 249 125
53 It shows I’m executive timber. 1.4823 0.02201 991 627 250 114
54 Hey, you any good with knots? 1.4821 0.02153 1004 628 268 108
55 My pronouns are Tree/Trey 1.4814 0.02249 1078 718 201 159
56 So I met this tree hugger on Timber.... 1.4807 0.02245 1034 677 217 140
57 Does this make my neck look too long? 1.4793 0.02230 968 616 240 112
58 The job description says they want someone with experience growing something from the ground up, so I think it's a good fit. 1.4789 0.02211 1044 680 228 136
59 Excuse me sir, do you have time to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?” 1.4780 0.02400 998 683 153 162
60 And so the boss says I only invest in hedge funds! 1.4775 0.02514 756 481 189 86
61 Where do I see myself in five years? Probably as a dinette set. 1.4767 0.02341 988 661 183 144
62 I still want to look good when I lose my leaves. 1.4725 0.02243 946 606 233 107
63 I'm interviewing for the branch manager position. 1.4723 0.02303 921 596 215 110
64 I told them I couldn’t go back into the office. I’d put roots down. 1.4721 0.02254 951 613 227 111
65 It’s from the fall collection. 1.4711 0.02283 970 637 209 124
66 I just feel stuck in my position, like I'm not going anywhere.. 1.4701 0.02320 904 586 211 107
67 If you want the tree huggers you have to look inviting. 1.4693 0.02304 912 591 214 107
68 Herb got the axe this morning. And just like that, I'm branch manager. 1.4693 0.02528 846 572 151 123
69 Oh, I'm interviewing for a position at The New York Botanical Garden. 1.4674 0.02330 873 563 212 98
70 I found it in my trunk. 1.4667 0.02367 885 581 195 109
71 It just makes me feel better to get dressed even if I'm not going anywhere. 1.4626 0.02431 763 487 199 77
72 Still working from home, Bob? 1.4618 0.02447 825 545 179 101
73 Wear a different tie? Do you think they grow on trees? 1.4612 0.02370 748 467 217 64
74 It's in memory of my grandfather. He's a railroad tie. 1.4605 0.02608 773 524 142 107
75 They're making me go to the forest three days a week. 1.4601 0.02462 702 441 199 62
76 I think it's definitely an upgrade from the yellow ribbon. 1.4599 0.02352 811 519 211 81
77 This forest isn't going to manage itself. 1.4599 0.02521 811 546 157 108
78 A real nice guy with a big chainsaw wrapped this beautiful tie around me! 1.4597 0.02520 720 464 181 75
79 Casual Friday is for shrubs, Mike. 1.4590 0.02506 780 516 170 94
80 Better to be called Pencil Neck than to BE a pencil. 1.4586 0.02530 748 491 171 86
81 I got it on TreeBay. 1.4573 0.02478 772 506 179 87
82 I'm not so sure you're Chippendale material. 1.4572 0.03064 514 339 115 60
83 First day on the job, and I forgot to log out. 1.4571 0.02487 757 494 180 83
84 So here I am, only 3 years later, branch manager. 1.4569 0.02576 788 536 144 108
85 I have an interview for a desk job. 1.4564 0.02520 723 469 178 76
86 The trick was teaching a squirrel to tie a tie. 1.4561 0.02592 774 526 143 105
87 The nuts upstairs thought it would be funny. 1.4555 0.02513 685 436 186 63
88 I thought we had been planted in a formal garden 1.4548 0.02482 741 481 183 77
89 I'm gonna ace that interview for the branch manager job. 1.4535 0.02500 785 524 166 95
90 I don’t know how I tied it either. 1.4532 0.02607 737 496 148 93
91 It’s to mark my promotion to branch manager. 1.4529 0.02589 733 490 154 89
92 Oaks don’t “spruce up. 1.4517 0.02574 693 453 167 73
93 It's a Father's Day gift from the saplings 1.4505 0.02549 748 500 159 89
94 What, you’ve never seen a tree knot before? 1.4484 0.02689 707 483 131 93
95 It’s the only thing that fit me at the big and tall store. 1.4477 0.02469 708 456 187 65
96 I had to start wearing this when I was promoted to branch manager. 1.4474 0.02564 742 499 154 89
97 You could at least throw on a skirt 1.4446 0.02747 560 360 151 49
98 I may not make a sound if I fall, but I'll at least look good doing it. 1.4444 0.03867 306 202 72 32
99 I was just promoted to branch manager 1.4436 0.02670 692 470 137 85
100 I'll give it right back after the lumberjack leaves. 1.4434 0.02576 654 425 168 61
101 The interview went well, but they don’t allow remote work. 1.4422 0.02625 597 382 166 49
102 It’s fine, they can only see my top half on Zoom 1.4419 0.02709 654 441 137 76
103 Tomorrow I have a job interview for the position of branch manager 1.4413 0.02848 630 435 112 83
104 Dress for the job you want Brian, not the job you have! 1.4406 0.02675 665 448 141 76
105 I want to be noticed for my hard work ethic, not just my foliage. 1.4394 0.02522 660 427 176 57
106 I have to be on Zoom today. 1.4392 0.02608 658 435 157 66
107 You're looking at the new branch manager. 1.4391 0.02773 599 400 135 64
108 I’m being transplanted to the Upper East Side. 1.4387 0.02733 620 415 138 67
109 Changing my look for autumn. 1.4383 0.02617 559 352 169 38
110 See … you don’t even notice my roots! 1.4378 0.02794 587 392 133 62
111 You may look more sophisticated, but the dog is still going to pee on you 1.4376 0.02799 617 420 124 73
112 Wish me luck! I've got a job interview at the paper mill. 1.4367 0.02794 648 449 115 84
113 We need a hammock! 1.4363 0.02903 557 376 119 62
114 Oh, damn. I forgot it’s Friday. 1.4359 0.02566 663 437 163 63
115 I heard a strong knot can stop a chainsaw 1.4354 0.02726 588 388 144 56
116 I was tired of people saying I looked shady 1.4353 0.04244 255 171 57 27
117 Thought I’d spruce up a bit. Turns out, we’re not spruce. 1.4352 0.02742 602 402 138 62
118 I’m applying for branch manager. 1.4327 0.02813 550 364 134 52
119 I'm still learning to tie it myself. 1.4325 0.02737 615 415 134 66
120 How'd you get yours off? 1.4325 0.02778 585 392 133 60
121 I know. I know. All dressed up but nowhere to go. 1.4304 0.02827 611 422 115 74
122 My tailor said it will help attract a better class of dog… 1.4290 0.02805 620 429 116 75
123 Mr Fetterman, we still have standards in this park 1.4288 0.02968 534 365 109 60
124 I want to look good for my photosynthesis. 1.4278 0.02786 582 393 129 60
125 I really didn't know what tie one-on meant! 1.4270 0.02733 562 371 142 49
126 The trick is to place it around your neck when you are a seed and wait 20 years. 1.4269 0.03014 520 357 104 59
127 I'm going to be office furniture 1.4264 0.02792 598 409 123 66
128 What do you mean, now we’re a casual forest? 1.4248 0.02851 499 327 132 40
129 I'm interviewing a new family of squirrels today. 1.4248 0.02863 572 393 115 64
130 I’m not sure if I should take the job…they wanted me to relocate. 1.4247 0.02861 558 380 119 59
131 I'm trying to impress the birches. 1.4223 0.03066 502 347 98 57
132 I put it on in the Fall since without my leaves I feel naked. 1.4221 0.02831 507 334 132 41
133 Just dressing up a bit so as not to appear shady. 1.4221 0.02938 526 359 112 55
134 I've been promoted to Branch Manager. 1.4218 0.02946 550 382 104 64
135 Call me old fashioned, but Arbor Day still means something to me. 1.4211 0.02892 558 385 111 62
136 All dressed up with nowhere to go. 1.4187 0.02911 523 356 115 52
137 I’m going for the executive suite desk. 1.4187 0.02855 504 335 127 42
138 I've been promoted from a yellow ribbon. 1.4181 0.02849 519 348 125 46
139 I have a date tonight with Greta Thunberg 1.4174 0.03038 484 331 104 49
140 I have to start going in three days a week. 1.4167 0.02868 468 306 129 33
141 I decided to get a desk job instead of becoming the desk. 1.4158 0.02993 481 326 110 45
142 Can you help with this knot? 1.4148 0.02908 487 326 120 41
143 Would you like to learn more about why I became a Jehovah's Witness? 1.4145 0.03171 456 316 91 49
144 nan 1.4129 0.03448 511 393 25 93
145 It’s really about distinguishing myself less as a forest and more as a tree. 1.4123 0.02856 536 367 117 52
146 I'm interviewing for plant manager. 1.4119 0.02942 505 346 110 49
147 I forgot this is Casual Friday 1.4118 0.02744 510 336 138 36
148 I 'm so done with Summer Casual 1.4114 0.02855 474 313 127 34
149 This year, I'm doing Arbor Day in style. 1.4106 0.02928 492 334 114 44
150 I've got plenty of knots, but this one is a Windsor 1.4089 0.03132 472 331 89 52
151 I may be in management now, but I haven't forgotten my roots. 1.4054 0.03337 444 320 68 56
152 I’m going to make money grow on trees. 1.4051 0.03017 511 361 93 57
153 One last question. Where do you see yourself in 100 years? 1.4048 0.03145 457 320 89 48
154 It’s at the paper mill. They say it’s a temp job. 1.4036 0.03309 446 321 70 55
155 Did I question your yellow ribbon phase? 1.4027 0.03303 447 322 70 55
156 What the heck, Joe, you knew it was a formal. 1.4025 0.03102 405 272 103 30
157 I heard they're going to make me into a formal dining table. 1.4024 0.02962 502 350 102 50
158 Do you WANT to get the axe? Go ahead, keep flouting the dress code! 1.4005 0.03264 422 297 81 44
159 Hey man, anything to look less like a pencil. 1.3995 0.03144 428 296 93 39
160 Aren't you going to ask how I tied it? 1.3972 0.03168 433 303 88 42
161 I’m dressed for fall 1.3971 0.02847 481 326 119 36
162 I've been made branch manager. 1.3952 0.03324 420 301 72 47
163 Are you old enough to carbon date? 1.3942 0.03215 411 287 86 38
164 I like to get spruced up. 1.3930 0.04346 229 161 46 22
165 If they think I'm conservative, maybe they won't kill me. 1.3925 0.03277 400 281 81 38
166 It makes me look ten rings younger. 1.3922 0.03318 459 340 58 61
167 With all the cuts happening around here, I’ll do whatever it takes to avoid getting the axe. 1.3920 0.03286 426 306 73 47
168 Alright then, where do YOU think our necks start? 1.3908 0.03460 371 264 69 38
169 The yellow ribbon was too 70's. 1.3908 0.03132 412 285 93 34
170 I have an interview for a chair at the university 1.3907 0.03440 389 280 66 43
171 Got this at a trunk sale. 1.3895 0.03434 362 255 73 34
172 The toughest part was tying the knot! 1.3894 0.03290 416 298 74 44
173 It means either that I am going to be chopped down or that I have to start going back to the office. 1.3881 0.03280 402 285 78 39
174 'Ever since I left the greenhouse, I realized there is no more glass ceiling.' 1.3876 0.03474 356 252 70 34
175 It's been in my trunk. 1.3874 0.03180 413 290 86 37
176 Do horizontal stripes make me look taller? 1.3866 0.03203 388 269 88 31
177 Where do you see yourself in one hundred and fifty years? 1.3854 0.03369 384 274 72 38
178 When I'm on Zoom, you can't tell I'm not wearing pants 1.3850 0.03568 361 262 59 40
179 I'm interviewing for a job as branch manager. 1.3840 0.03242 388 272 83 33
180 Want to get together and pollinate this Spring? 1.3834 0.03268 373 260 83 30
181 Tonight I'm accepting a Lifetime Achievement Award from my nursery. 1.3811 0.03047 412 285 97 30
182 I thought I'd go out on a limb. 1.3804 0.03349 326 223 82 21
183 Sorry - couldn't find the yellow ribbon. 1.3803 0.03187 355 242 91 22
184 I just got promoted to Branch Manager. 1.3802 0.03506 334 236 69 29
185 When you show a little self-respect, the dogs move on 1.3799 0.03430 358 255 70 33
186 I get one from my kids every Arbor Day. 1.3795 0.03366 390 282 68 40
187 You don't need pants. It's a Zoom call. 1.3789 0.03748 351 263 43 45
188 Can you believe I tied it myself? 1.3786 0.03349 383 275 71 37
189 And I'm having my roots done. 1.3777 0.03561 323 229 66 28
190 I thin k it makes me look less like broccoli. 1.3765 0.03471 324 227 72 25
191 The tie came with a meaningless job title, now I’m expected to pull twice as much CO2 from the air. 1.3754 0.03393 349 247 73 29
192 It's a birthday gift from one of my saplings. 1.3727 0.03122 381 265 90 26
193 Love your fro! 1.3721 0.03425 344 245 70 29
194 I tried to get in. But the dress code said 'No trunks.' 1.3718 0.03465 355 257 64 34
195 I had to quit. The commute was impossible. 1.3683 0.03615 315 227 60 28
196 So I forgot it was casual Friday; can't I just choose to look nice? 1.3666 0.03195 371 262 82 27
197 Good news! I have a job interview at the paper factory! 1.3662 0.03613 325 237 57 31
198 I’m not sure if I will take the job if it means uprooting the family. 1.3659 0.03392 358 259 67 32
199 So the tie is weird, but not the fact we can talk? 1.3659 0.03833 287 209 51 27
200 We’ve discussed moving but I have roots here 1.3650 0.03567 337 247 57 33
201 I'd suggest you polish your resume and interview skills, too. Standing around providing life-sustaining oxygen is just not a valued skill anymore. 1.3643 0.03761 291 211 54 26
202 You thought that you would never see…A necktie hanging from a tree… A Windsor knot?…A four-in-hand?…The things that I don’t understand…While poems are made by saps like me… Only God can make a tree. 1.3636 0.04029 297 226 34 37
203 If they want cultivated, I'll give them cultivated. 1.3636 0.03412 330 235 70 25
204 You can dress me up but you can’t take me anywhere. 1.3636 0.03550 319 230 62 27
205 I'm not just gonna make a sound when I fall; I'm gonna make a statement. 1.3631 0.03472 336 243 64 29
206 Dress for the executive letterhead paper you want to become, not the boring old paper you’re slated to be! 1.3631 0.03315 336 237 76 23
207 It’s time I dressed for the job I want: branch manager. 1.3627 0.03743 306 225 51 30
208 I have a board meeting today. 1.3625 0.03294 331 232 78 21
209 It doesn't matter that my roots are showing, my webcam only captures me from the mid-trunk up. 1.3614 0.03421 332 238 68 26
210 I just found out I'm up for a board position. 1.3610 0.03479 313 223 67 23
211 I think it makes me suave, debonair and definitely more huggable. 1.3586 0.03416 343 249 65 29
212 They say ‘dress for the job you want’. I’m hoping to be made into a tie rack. 1.3581 0.03645 296 214 58 24
213 I’m a branch manager. 1.3581 0.03485 296 209 68 19
214 Goodbye giving tree - Hello doing tree. 1.3571 0.03791 280 204 52 24
215 I’m your branch manager now 1.3569 0.03548 311 225 61 25
216 You haven't heard of Fall Fashion Week? 1.3566 0.03496 286 201 68 17
217 This is the most stylish neck of the woods. 1.3564 0.03583 303 219 60 24
218 I'm interviewing for Branch Manager. 1.3543 0.03739 302 224 49 29
219 I used to be mistaken for broccoli all the time until I got a stylist. 1.3537 0.03593 294 212 60 22
220 My goal is to retire by the time I’m 400. 1.3537 0.03625 294 213 58 23
221 I never get hired when I wear a tire swing. 1.3525 0.04065 295 229 28 38
222 I wanted to be part of the Executive Branch 1.3490 0.03647 298 219 54 25
223 Call me old-fashioned, but I still like to dress up for Arbor Day. 1.3489 0.03967 278 210 39 29
224 Yeah, today's my admissions interview at the arboreum. 1.3488 0.03741 301 225 47 29
225 I'll feel less naked when I lose my leaves, that's why. 1.3483 0.03620 290 211 57 22
226 The interview seemed to be going well until they asked me if I could travel. 1.3478 0.03667 299 221 52 26
227 The yellow ribbon is so last season 1.3470 0.03714 268 194 55 19
228 Did you seriously just ask if I tied it all by myself? 1.3464 0.03779 306 232 42 32
229 Don’t you think you are taking business casual a little too far? 1.3463 0.03661 257 183 59 15
230 Hello, my name is Elder Wood. 1.3453 0.03760 278 205 50 23
231 Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. 1.3450 0.03811 258 188 51 19
232 It matches my rings 1.3448 0.03701 261 188 56 17
233 I’m a professional tree 1.3440 0.03510 282 202 63 17
234 I always like to spruce up a little for leaf peeping season! 1.3431 0.03578 274 197 60 17
235 I was really hoping for that lateral move. 1.3429 0.03856 312 242 33 37
236 They're giving me the ax. 1.3424 0.03503 295 214 61 20
237 We have to wear one. We're branch managers. 1.3422 0.03794 263 193 50 20
238 I feel like I still look like broccoli 1.3420 0.03590 307 228 53 26
239 I’m all dressed up with nowhere to go 1.3414 0.03675 290 215 51 24
240 Gotta look my best--I heard those men say I'd be perfect for the board! 1.3411 0.03960 258 193 42 23
241 I'm branching out into business. 1.3402 0.03691 244 174 57 13
242 I feel all spruced up. 1.3391 0.03705 233 165 57 11
243 This time next month we'll be bald but at least I'll look professional. 1.3385 0.03890 257 191 45 21
244 If I'm going down, I'm going down in style. 1.3383 0.03682 266 194 54 18
245 My arborist recommends that I spruce up my image 1.3381 0.03498 278 200 62 16
246 I'm dressing for the job I want...money isn't going to just start growing on me. 1.3381 0.03821 281 212 43 26
247 Corporate says they will be making some cuts. 1.3379 0.03342 293 209 69 15
248 Chop me down if I ever have to wear a tie to work. 1.3375 0.03954 240 177 45 18
249 It’s a zoom call. Only the top half matters. 1.3374 0.03970 246 183 43 20
250 I'd like them to consider me for the new chair. 1.3372 0.03798 258 190 49 19
251 well, frankly, i just haven't been able to get it off. 1.3372 0.03877 258 192 45 21
252 This just matches my personality better than a yellow ribbon. 1.3367 0.03642 300 225 49 26
253 I want to look my best for the fall foliage tourists. 1.3359 0.03596 262 189 58 15
254 I think it's important to look nice even if you aren't going anywhere. 1.3358 0.03814 271 203 45 23
255 I'm trying to set an example for John Fetterman. 1.3358 0.03990 274 211 34 29
256 I identify as ornamental. 1.3347 0.03984 248 186 41 21
257 Sometimes I wish I could just walk away from it all 1.3345 0.03978 278 215 33 30
258 You don't look much like your Timber profile. 1.3333 0.03946 240 178 44 18
259 I’m hoping to branch out. 1.3333 0.03970 222 162 46 14
260 In five years time I see myself as an executive desk. 1.3333 0.03970 249 187 41 21
261 I got the horizontal stripes so I don’t look so tall. 1.3320 0.04032 247 187 38 22
262 Dress for the squirrels you want. 1.3307 0.03829 254 189 46 19
263 It's a temp job. I made it clear I'm not willing to relocate. 1.3307 0.03902 251 188 43 20
264 I never saw myself as a hardwood floor, I’m more of a front desk person. 1.3307 0.04062 251 192 35 24
265 They told me I'll be going into a formal dining room. 1.3300 0.03596 297 223 50 24
266 I'm interviewing for a job in a national park. 1.3299 0.03583 291 217 52 22
267 You're lucky to work in the Senate. 1.3296 0.03886 270 206 39 25
268 I've got a hot date tonight with a sugar maple. 1.3295 0.03686 264 195 51 18
269 Maybe you don’t care, but to me Arbor Day still means something! 1.3295 0.03946 261 199 38 24
270 I bet I get more hugs. 1.3292 0.03758 240 175 51 14
271 It was a good offer, but not enough to uproot myself for. 1.3281 0.03710 253 186 51 16
272 Honey, guess who’s the new Branch Manager! 1.3280 0.03783 250 185 48 17
273 It's my first job interview. I hope I'm going to make the cut. 1.3279 0.03668 244 177 54 13
274 I'm trying to look less shady. 1.3277 0.03915 238 177 44 17
275 Of course it's a clip-on, you moron 1.3264 0.04034 239 181 38 20
276 It was a Father’s Day gift from one of my acorns 1.3262 0.03828 233 171 48 14
277 Darn it I forgot it was Casual Friday again! 1.3262 0.03923 233 173 44 16
278 I'd like to be considered for the new chair. 1.3258 0.03679 264 196 50 18
279 I’m interviewing for new branch manager. 1.3255 0.03601 255 186 55 14
280 So, tell me, are you able to relocate if we offer you the position? 1.3244 0.03889 262 200 39 23
281 Does this make me look like a sap? 1.3243 0.04203 222 169 34 19
282 Yeah, I've read The Giving Tree. It scares the sap out of me. 1.3230 0.04146 226 172 35 19
283 It brings out my bark. 1.3230 0.03863 257 195 41 21
284 This isn't so bad. Last time it was 100 yellow ribbons. 1.3229 0.04138 223 169 36 18
285 The yellow ribbon did not go with my outfit. 1.3224 0.03955 245 186 39 20
286 Well, I’m off to the Fall Formal! 1.3213 0.03695 249 184 50 15
287 No, I don’t know how I got this on either! 1.3211 0.03856 246 185 43 18
288 I got the job! Starting down at the paper mill next week. 1.3208 0.03968 240 182 39 19
289 I have an interview to get into a formal garden! 1.3207 0.03820 237 176 46 15
290 I heard some kids say "we could play in that tree if it had attire!" 1.3197 0.03919 244 185 40 19
291 Is this my neck? 1.3197 0.04004 244 187 36 21
292 Do you stand here often? 1.3196 0.03873 219 161 46 12
293 If I play my cards right, in three months I’ll be a desk. 1.3193 0.03944 238 180 40 18
294 I thought I’d spruce up my wardrobe today. 1.3185 0.03655 248 183 51 14
295 Love the job, but I could be axed at any moment. 1.3184 0.04030 223 168 39 16
296 Notice anything different? 1.3184 0.03774 245 183 46 16
297 Every autumn we lose everything. I wanted to go out in style. 1.3182 0.04119 220 167 36 17
298 I am dressing to enhance my new found importance to the planet. 1.3180 0.03930 239 181 40 18
299 With work from home, I'm really putting down roots. 1.3180 0.03930 239 181 40 18
300 I got it at a trunk show. 1.3176 0.04092 233 179 34 20
301 They want to promote me to branch manager. 1.3171 0.03805 246 185 44 17
302 Does this make my ash look big? 1.3170 0.04209 224 173 31 20
303 I’m one of the nut trees in the Senate that thinks it’s more important to wear a tie than actually pass legislation that might help the American people. 1.3169 0.03968 243 186 37 20
304 OMG. I totally forgot it was casual Friday! 1.3160 0.03764 269 206 41 22
305 Dress for the forest you want, not for the forest you're in. 1.3158 0.03835 247 187 42 18
306 Remember that tree hugger? Turns out he knew how to tie a Windsor. 1.3151 0.03890 238 180 41 17
307 I was all ready to go,then that damn dog had to come by. 1.3143 0.04610 210 168 18 24
308 The hard part was getting it the right length. 1.3136 0.04258 220 171 29 20
309 I think we should see other treeple 1.3136 0.04355 220 173 25 22
310 I didn't sell out Jerry, I grew up 1.3136 0.04058 220 167 37 16
311 I aspire to a desk in the executive suite. 1.3131 0.04030 214 161 39 14
312 I've always liked the look of knots. 1.3128 0.03869 227 170 43 14
313 Your ex is demanding half of the apples. 1.3127 0.03942 275 218 28 29
314 It took forever to decide on one, which is ironic--because I'm deciduous. 1.3122 0.03834 221 164 45 12
315 Thought I'd make an effort for our treesome 1.3122 0.04192 221 171 31 19
316 All dressed up, but impossible to go. 1.3120 0.04023 234 180 35 19
317 Well, I am a spruce tree. 1.3111 0.03990 225 171 38 16
318 I didn’t like it at first, but it’s growing on me. 1.3110 0.04364 209 163 27 19
319 I'm just sayin', more attractive trees are less likely to be cut down. 1.3109 0.03882 238 181 40 17
320 It makes my trunk look shorter 1.3108 0.03475 251 184 56 11
321 I tell ya I get no respect. Dogs think it's an arrow pointing to the toilet. 1.3107 0.04516 206 163 22 21
322 The bow tie just looked silly 1.3106 0.04185 235 185 27 23
323 How do you like my knot? 1.3105 0.03799 219 162 46 11
324 It’s for my Tinder profile. 1.3105 0.03898 248 191 37 20
325 Yes, interest rates have stabilized, but we are not out of the woods yet. 1.3102 0.04309 216 169 27 20
326 Sure, I had to get a little creative with my resume—but they were pretty impressed with my 15 years as branch manager. 1.3100 0.04174 229 179 29 21
327 Dress Down Friday doesn't start til September. 1.3100 0.03972 200 148 42 10
328 I was feeling knotty 1.3097 0.03974 226 172 38 16
329 Last time someone took a photo with me in the background, I wasn't ready. 1.3096 0.04381 197 152 29 16
330 Would you like to attend a short presentation about a timeshare? 1.3089 0.03789 246 187 42 17
331 It's either go corporate or become toilet paper, ok? 1.3084 0.03959 227 173 38 16
332 I’m being transplanted to a business park. 1.3080 0.03887 237 181 39 17
333 I've got an interview with Home Depot. 1.3073 0.04224 218 170 29 19
334 What can I tell you? My arborist went to Princeton" 1.3073 0.03858 218 163 43 12
335 I'm hoping to be transplanted to an English garden 1.3067 0.03980 225 172 37 16
336 Otherwise you just look like broccoli 1.3064 0.03999 235 182 34 19
337 I've got an interview for a desk position. As a desk. 1.3062 0.04137 209 160 34 15
338 I was told it was a formal garden! 1.3059 0.04003 219 167 37 15
339 I’m hoping to become business cards. 1.3059 0.04106 219 169 33 17
340 It's called personification. Usually, it's done with words. 1.3058 0.04121 206 157 35 14
341 I’m thinking about going with my bough tie instead." 1.3058 0.03945 206 154 41 11
342 It’s actually nicer, before it was just a yellow ribbon. 1.3057 0.03830 229 173 42 14
343 Long term, I hope to become an executive chair. 1.3054 0.04221 203 156 32 15
344 I think I have a tie in my knot. 1.3053 0.04111 226 176 31 19
345 Never realized you have such a long neck. 1.3053 0.03655 226 167 49 10
346 No one ever knows what to get me for Arbor Day. 1.3053 0.04063 226 175 33 18
347 I picked up a day job, honey. The days of getting by on sunlight and nutrients are over, I fear. 1.3053 0.03959 190 140 42 8
348 If I wear this tie in the forest and nobody's around to see it, does it still look ridiculous? 1.3051 0.03751 236 178 44 14
349 No more ‘giving tree.’ I’m dressed for success and ready to start taking. 1.3047 0.03880 233 178 39 16
350 Every Arbor Day my acorns get me one. 1.3041 0.04025 217 166 36 15
351 Hey, I don't want to show up looking like a sap. 1.3040 0.03999 227 175 35 17
352 I got the job - you’re looking at the new branch manager! 1.3039 0.04087 204 155 36 13
353 You don’t need pants for a Zoom meeting. 1.3030 0.04291 198 153 30 15
354 Excuse me sir, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior? 1.3027 0.04569 185 145 24 16
355 You’re my emergency contact. So if I fall you’ll be here to hear it? 1.3026 0.04275 195 150 31 14
356 You do you. The invite specifically said: Smart casual. 1.3025 0.03818 238 182 40 16
357 Just thought I'd spruce up a bit 1.3022 0.03817 225 170 42 13
358 I only work remote on Wednesdays 1.3020 0.03829 245 189 38 18
359 You were right, Lois. Vertical stripes would've been a better choice for a guy of my height. 1.3018 0.03744 222 166 45 11
360 I want to attract a better class of squirrel. 1.3017 0.03738 232 175 44 13
361 Looks like you went to the same barber. 1.3014 0.04045 219 169 34 16
362 They told me I'm to be a special guest at a lumber party -- whatever that is. 1.3014 0.04096 219 170 32 17
363 My branch manager was actually surprised by my request to take leave in the fall. 1.3014 0.03993 219 168 36 15
364 I think it's called a necktie. What's a neck? 1.3010 0.04068 196 148 37 11
365 I thought this was a formal garden. 1.3010 0.03749 206 152 46 8
366 It’s called the bough tie” 1.3005 0.04123 213 165 32 16
367 ‘This is my first Timber date.’ 1.3004 0.04091 223 174 31 18
368 They offered me the position "assistant to the branch manager". 1.3000 0.04133 200 153 34 13
369 You know, if you dress well at this job you're less likely to get axed 1.2995 0.04035 207 158 36 13
370 It's a clip-on. 1.2995 0.04475 197 156 23 18
371 I’m dressing for the planet I want, not the one we have. 1.2995 0.04056 187 140 38 9
372 I know it's casual Friday, but I just can't untie this thing. 1.2995 0.04127 187 141 36 10
373 I know it's casual firday, but I am deciduously against it. 1.2991 0.03976 224 173 35 16
374 And they told me I had the potential to be a great dresser! 1.2989 0.04446 184 143 27 14
375 I know the invitation said casual, but I can’t untie it. 1.2986 0.03856 221 168 40 13
376 Just trying to spruce myself up a little. 1.2983 0.04358 181 139 30 12
377 Should I have gone with a bough tie instead? 1.2983 0.04287 181 138 32 11
378 I plan to run my own forest someday. 1.2982 0.04022 228 178 32 18
379 Thanks,I got it at a trunk show. 1.2977 0.03871 215 163 40 12
380 We're looking for someone who thrives in environments with high rates of burnout. 1.2976 0.04116 205 158 33 14
381 You’re probably wondering how I tied it. 1.2973 0.04098 222 174 30 18
382 I can’t believe I failed the interview for branch manager. 1.2972 0.04129 212 165 31 16
383 Without it, I feel like just a big piece of broccoli. 1.2970 0.04216 202 157 30 15
384 I always like dressing up after a pruning. 1.2968 0.04086 219 171 31 17
385 I heard National Geographic is coming today. 1.2967 0.04002 209 160 36 13
386 They say it makes me look taller. 1.2965 0.04139 199 153 33 13
387 Wudda ya think? Does it go with my leaves? 1.2963 0.03742 216 162 44 10
388 Now when all my leaves fall off, I won't feel quite as naked. 1.2963 0.03611 243 184 46 13
389 I found it when I was unpacking my trunk 1.2956 0.04313 203 160 26 17
390 Of course it’s a clip-on, I don’t have any hands! 1.2952 0.04098 210 163 32 15
391 I'm going for Branch Manager. 1.2947 0.04195 207 162 29 16
392 Does it go with my bark? 1.2941 0.04180 204 159 30 15
393 What? Too formal for summer? 1.2936 0.03687 235 179 43 13
394 They are moving me to a park near Wall Street. 1.2935 0.04103 201 155 33 13
395 I don’t care what you say, I’m going places 1.2935 0.03980 201 153 37 11
396 How did you know I have a Zoom this morning? 1.2933 0.03948 208 159 37 12
397 I don't like that the human put this stupid tie on me but I consider myself lucky after what he let his dog do on you! 1.2929 0.04443 198 158 22 18
398 A tree that may in summer wear A nest of robins in her hair” I decided on this tie instead 1.2929 0.04443 198 158 22 18
399 Now we can both work in the Senate. 1.2927 0.04219 205 161 28 16
400 I found it at a trunk show. 1.2926 0.03646 229 173 45 11
401 I was told you asked to see the Branch Manager? 1.2924 0.03911 236 185 33 18
402 Ancestree.com says I'm a Windsor Knotty Pine. 1.2923 0.04312 195 153 27 15
403 I'm from the branch office. 1.2922 0.04075 219 172 30 17
404 It’s a zoom interview so I only have to look nice on top. 1.2919 0.04065 185 140 36 9
405 Finally, they made me Branch Manager. 1.2917 0.04062 216 169 31 16
406 The joke’s on them. They can dress me up, but they can’t take me anywhere. 1.2908 0.04353 196 155 25 16
407 You're lucky that you can still work remotely. 1.2905 0.04030 210 163 33 14
408 New dress code regulations. Just came down from the branch office. 1.2903 0.04045 217 170 31 16
409 It's Arbor Day, stupid. 1.2902 0.04148 193 149 32 12
410 It looks like you’ve been sap-poenaed. 1.2900 0.04460 200 161 20 19
411 I'm scheduled to appear on "Finding Your Roots." 1.2899 0.03892 207 158 38 11
412 I like putting my best root forward. 1.2897 0.04030 214 167 32 15
413 You'll be proud, Pop. The paper mill called and said they had a job for me. 1.2896 0.04160 183 140 33 10
414 So what do you think? Do I look taller? 1.2893 0.04024 197 151 35 11
415 Of course it fits. The man with the axe measured me twice yesterday. 1.2888 0.04499 187 149 22 16
416 nan 1.2887 0.04298 239 198 13 28
417 That's Right, You're Looking at the New Branch Manager! 1.2887 0.04256 194 152 28 14
418 I told her, 'Yellow Ribbon! Yellow Ribbon! 1.2886 0.04029 201 155 34 12
419 I learned how to tie it on YouTube. 1.2885 0.03994 208 161 34 13
420 I'm trying to look more "old-growth" 1.2879 0.04069 198 153 33 12
421 Arbor Day, dude! 1.2877 0.04065 219 173 29 17
422 Got an interview at the mill. 1.2872 0.04046 195 150 34 11
423 I’ve got an interview for the arboretum. 1.2871 0.04073 202 157 32 13
424 I'm either dressed for success or marked for harvest- I don't know which. 1.2871 0.04073 202 157 32 13
425 I thought it would make me more attractive to pollinators. 1.2865 0.04408 192 153 23 16
426 - “Northeast Lumber loved my résumé, and now I just have to nail the interview.“ 1.2865 0.04282 192 151 27 14
427 I think the tie helps distract the fact I’m going to be bald soon. 1.2864 0.04175 199 156 29 14
428 When you become plant manager you have to wear a tie. 1.2864 0.03896 206 158 37 11
429 My squirrel has a girlfriend. 1.2857 0.03689 196 146 44 6
430 My eyes are up here, Tom. 1.2857 0.04263 189 148 28 13
431 Don't bother submitting a caption. You'll never win 1.2857 0.04712 182 148 16 18
432 What can I say? I'm old growth. 1.2857 0.04277 175 135 30 10
433 Yeah, yeah, so I tied one on. Big deal! 1.2850 0.04156 200 157 29 14
434 It’s supposed to be slimming.” 1.2850 0.04034 200 155 33 12
435 You cant imagine how hard it was to get the knot right. 1.2850 0.04262 193 152 27 14
436 I overheard them saying I'm boardroom material 1.2849 0.04376 186 147 25 14
437 Do I look less shady? 1.2849 0.04309 186 146 27 13
438 I started in STEM a long time ago. 1.2849 0.04172 186 144 31 11
439 It was a gift from my seedlings. 1.2845 0.03893 232 183 32 17
440 Productivity is at an all-time high, and yet, we still can’t compete with Evergreen’s consistency. 1.2843 0.04270 204 163 24 17
441 I'm tired of looking like a toilet brush." 1.2843 0.04260 197 156 26 15
442 A rep from Ikea told me that I'm good office material. 1.2842 0.04372 190 151 24 15
443 Forest casual I presume 1.2842 0.04041 190 146 34 10
444 If you don’t want to get the axe…you have to dress the part 1.2842 0.04357 183 144 26 13
445 Oops! I forgot it was casual Friday. 1.2841 0.04179 176 135 32 9
446 I'm going on "Finding Your Roots" tonight. 1.2836 0.04372 201 162 21 18
447 I put on a tie for Zooms, but stay in my trunks. 1.2835 0.04305 194 154 25 15
448 Dress for the credenza you WANT to be. 1.2834 0.04153 187 145 31 11
449 I asked Alexa to order Thai. 1.2828 0.03992 198 153 34 11
450 Does this go with my leaves? 1.2826 0.04336 184 145 26 13
451 That part was easy. Tying it was a bear. 1.2826 0.04267 184 144 28 12
452 Just because Congress has relaxed their dress code doesn’t mean we have to! 1.2826 0.04404 184 146 24 14
453 They say if you want to branch out more, you should update your style 1.2824 0.03820 216 167 37 12
454 I just guessed where my neck would be 1.2821 0.04161 195 153 29 13
455 You can’t prove you’re a climate change solution looking like that! 1.2818 0.04454 181 144 23 14
456 I don’t want to be left totally naked by October! 1.2814 0.03974 199 154 34 11
457 It's time to grow up. 1.2812 0.04072 192 149 32 11
458 I spruced up. 1.2811 0.04247 185 145 28 12
459 I joined the executive branch 1.2808 0.03793 203 155 39 9
460 I hate being a twin. 1.2805 0.04372 164 127 28 9
461 Son we gotta talk, I found the Better Homes and Gardens underneath your bed. 1.2802 0.04432 182 145 23 14
462 It was this or a bough tie. 1.2802 0.04293 182 143 27 12
463 You look like an idiot, Fetterman. 1.2802 0.04293 182 143 27 12
464 I'm on 'Timber,' the dating app for trees. 1.2800 0.04082 200 157 30 13
465 I call this Deciduous Casual. 1.2798 0.03778 193 146 40 7
466 I finally passed the board. 1.2793 0.04268 179 140 28 11
467 Would you hurry up and get dressed?! We’re going to be late! 1.2792 0.04123 197 155 29 13
468 Why didn’t you remind me it was Casual Friday? 1.2791 0.04539 172 137 22 13
469 The bow tie looked ridiculous. 1.2788 0.04676 165 132 20 13
470 I felt like sprucing up a bit. 1.2787 0.04201 183 143 29 11
471 Im updating my Timber profile 1.2787 0.04272 183 144 27 12
472 So where do you see yourself in 300 years? 1.2785 0.04741 158 126 20 12
473 Of course I didn’t tie it myself . Why would even ask that ? 1.2784 0.04101 194 152 30 12
474 I have an interview at the branch office. 1.2781 0.04137 187 146 30 11
475 Sure, for the right job I'm willing to be uprooted. 1.2781 0.04067 187 145 32 10
476 They’re moving me to the formal garden! 1.2781 0.04137 187 146 30 11
477 He didn’t have a ribbon, so he thought that an old yellow necktie will do. 1.2781 0.04137 187 146 30 11
478 I read that if I dress for success, I won't get the axe. 1.2778 0.03974 216 171 30 15
479 Today's special is a nitrogen infused fertilizer served in a carbon dioxide reduction. 1.2775 0.04441 173 137 24 12
480 Gotta go to a funeral. 1.2775 0.04208 173 134 30 9
481 You have no idea how long it took me to tie this Windsor knot. 1.2772 0.03985 202 158 32 12
482 Oh, Darling, when I am with you I can never see the forest. 1.2772 0.04321 184 146 25 13
483 It's always a tie. Christmas, birthday, Father's Day whatever. 1.2768 0.04218 177 138 29 10
484 I know. All dressed up and nowhere to go. 1.2767 0.04542 159 125 24 10
485 The squirrel countersued -- claims you touched his nuts. 1.2766 0.04048 188 146 32 10
486 No more working from home. 1.2765 0.04570 170 136 21 13
487 Gotta look our best. Only one of us is going to make the cut. 1.2765 0.04088 170 130 33 7
488 Does this knot look okay? 1.2762 0.04153 181 141 30 10
489 It's how I identify. 1.2761 0.04462 163 128 25 10
490 I’m not really into the nudist lifestyle anymore, Jeff. 1.2761 0.04546 163 129 23 11
491 Look busy, they’re making cuts. 1.2761 0.04546 163 129 23 11
492 I got the job at the paper factory. 1.2761 0.04546 163 129 23 11
493 Door Dash again tonight? 1.2760 0.04258 221 182 17 22
494 yes ill be meeting a lumberjack who'll tell me exactly how old I am 1.2759 0.03856 174 131 38 5
495 It means I've either been promoted or I'm slated to be axed. 1.2749 0.04621 171 138 19 14
496 If you dress for the job you want, you wont become the desk at the factory. 1.2747 0.03983 182 140 34 8
497 Got to look good. Those subdivisions always spare a few shade trees. 1.2744 0.04266 164 127 29 8
498 Oh, hey! Guess what? There's a fresh opening at Chippers Inc. Yeah, they said I would 'fit right in'. 1.2742 0.03925 186 143 35 8
499 Over Zoom, no one can tell I'm not wearing pants. 1.2739 0.04662 157 125 21 11
500 I was hoping you could help me out with the cufflinks. 1.2739 0.04391 157 122 27 8
501 Don’t dress for the job you have, but the job you want to have. 1.2738 0.04444 168 133 24 11
502 I’ve got a date with a Palm tree. Does this tie make me look fat? 1.2737 0.04467 179 144 21 14
503 I want to look good for the board 1.2737 0.03870 190 146 36 8
504 I have an appointment with my Arborist. 1.2736 0.04111 201 160 27 14
505 Wish me luck. The last interviewer said I was too wooden. 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
506 They said the tree cutting would be formal. 1.2733 0.04211 172 134 29 9
507 I'm about to be bald! I have to do something. 1.2732 0.04053 205 163 28 14
508 The paperwork is a nightmare. 1.2727 0.03778 231 183 33 15
509 Trick or treat! I’m an accountant. 1.2727 0.04661 176 144 16 16
510 Same problem every day. All dressed up and no way to go. 1.2727 0.03963 198 155 32 11
511 Didn't go so well. I think I may have misunderstood what they meant by "branch manager". 1.2727 0.04122 187 147 29 11
512 I’d rather climb the ladder than become one. 1.2723 0.04260 191 153 24 14
513 I do hope you will be working in a paperless office 1.2723 0.04194 191 152 26 13
514 I didn’t tell you? I’m applying to be Branch Manager. 1.2717 0.04347 173 137 25 11
515 Wearing a tie makes me feel grounded 1.2710 0.04323 155 120 28 7
516 I decided to spruce up. 1.2709 0.04075 203 162 27 14
517 Just because it's fall doesn't mean we have to let ourselves go 1.2706 0.04317 170 134 26 10
518 I only wear it for my Zoom calls. 1.2704 0.04113 196 156 27 13
519 ...and as the new branch manager I'll be in charge of seasonal cutbacks. 1.2701 0.04401 174 139 23 12
520 I have my eyes set on becoming a boardroom chair 1.2701 0.04247 174 137 27 10
521 My rings are inside the collar. 1.2698 0.04151 189 150 27 12
522 Welcome to my trunk show. 1.2697 0.04104 178 139 30 9
523 Honey, have you seen my pants? 1.2697 0.04256 178 141 26 11
524 Dress for the job you want, Carl. 1.2697 0.04026 178 138 32 8
525 I think this is “business casual” 1.2696 0.03936 204 161 31 12
526 Afther they they took down that hammock, I got to thinking that I really like neckwear. 1.2692 0.04668 156 125 20 11
527 I was always told to leaf a good impression 1.2690 0.04048 171 132 32 7
528 It looks weird without a shirt, right? 1.2688 0.04054 186 146 30 10
529 Got a date with Twiggy 1.2688 0.04132 160 123 31 6
530 Anyone can throw shade. Not everyone can be branch manager. 1.2686 0.04526 175 142 19 14
531 Do these horizontal stripes make me look like a Sequoia? 1.2686 0.04526 175 142 19 14
532 Thirty years at the same job. I'm starting to feel stuck. 1.2684 0.03925 190 148 33 9
533 It was buried in my trunk. 1.2683 0.03780 164 123 38 3
534 Kyle, you have to dress for the job you want. 1.2683 0.04333 164 129 26 9
535 You're lucky you work in a branch office. 1.2682 0.04006 179 139 32 8
536 You will not believe the commute I have. 1.2682 0.03927 179 138 34 7
537 I can't believe we tied the knot. 1.2682 0.04234 179 142 26 11
538 I'm dressing for photo-synthesis 1.2682 0.04380 179 144 22 13
539 I'm trying to look important, and indispensable, for when they start the cuts. 1.2682 0.04234 179 142 26 11
540 Same present every birthday for a hundred rings now. 1.2680 0.04264 194 157 22 15
541 My only claim to fame is that someone in my family became a Stradivarius violin. 1.2679 0.04261 168 132 27 9
542 Darn, I always forget about casual Fridays. 1.2678 0.03947 183 142 33 8
543 it's hard to define what a green job actually is 1.2678 0.04022 183 143 31 9
544 I have an interview with International Paper Company today. 1.2674 0.04273 172 136 26 10
545 Oh course it wasn't my idea, you nitwit! Do you see arms, hands and fingers? 1.2674 0.04111 172 134 30 8
546 I heard you should dress for the dog you want, not the dog you have 1.2674 0.04654 172 141 16 15
547 „They were out of tree-piece suits“ 1.2674 0.04352 172 137 24 11
548 I dunno. Some pecker left it here. 1.2674 0.04311 187 151 22 14
549 I appreciate your offer to work here in your forest, but I really want someplace with its own gym. 1.2667 0.04567 180 148 16 16
550 Because bow ties are pretentious, that's why. 1.2667 0.04498 180 147 18 15
551 Ohhhh.... I thought today was Arbor Day. 1.2667 0.04024 210 169 26 15
552 Maybe they won't kill me if they think I'm one of them . . . maybe. 1.2667 0.04139 180 142 28 10
553 It's a clip-on. You try tying a tie without branches! 1.2667 0.04063 180 141 30 9
554 Are my roots showing? 1.2663 0.03995 199 158 29 12
555 I'm going as a Chippendale's dancer for Halloween!" 1.2663 0.04481 169 136 21 12
556 When you’re the branch manager, you never get casual Fridays 1.2663 0.04481 169 136 21 12
557 Some Senate guy gave it to me. 1.2662 0.04517 154 122 23 9
558 Call me crazy but I miss the yellow ribbons. 1.2660 0.03722 188 144 38 6
559 I got it from Fetterman! 1.2659 0.04329 173 138 24 11
560 Get dressed -- it's supposed to be a very formal hammock. 1.2658 0.04345 158 124 26 8
561 I just feel so unadorned when my leaves start to fall off. 1.2654 0.04181 162 126 29 7
562 I've heard if there's visible knots, they won't cut you down. 1.2654 0.04360 162 128 25 9
563 They can't cut me! I'm in management! 1.2654 0.04447 162 129 23 10
564 I'm your new branch manager. 1.2654 0.04271 162 127 27 8
565 I was just at a funeral… I didn’t know the deceased but I was good friends with the coffin. 1.2654 0.04699 162 132 17 13
566 Yeah I should have got a haircut too 1.2653 0.04034 196 156 28 12
567 Does this look like a yellow ribbon to you? No one listens to the lyrics any more. 1.2652 0.04044 181 142 30 9
568 Given the number of dogs that frequent this park, if I had to do it all again, I'd have chosen the galoshes. 1.2651 0.04454 166 133 22 11
569 I think there's a squirrel up there trying to get lucky... 1.2650 0.04340 200 165 17 18
570 Does a tie make me look more huggable? 1.2647 0.04134 170 133 29 8
571 I like the look, but it’s very hard to knot. 1.2647 0.04134 170 133 29 8
572 I don't know, I was just hoping it would make me look alder. 1.2645 0.04397 155 122 25 8
573 When I said to wear your weekend attire on casual Friday, I didn't realize you were a nudist 1.2644 0.04459 174 141 20 13
574 You’ve got to dress for the job you want, Bob. 1.2642 0.03871 193 151 33 9
575 I realized that money doesn't grow on trees, so I'm looking for a job. 1.2642 0.04759 159 130 16 13
576 I'm glad Afros are back. Aren't you? 1.2642 0.04412 159 126 24 9
577 I'm trying to look my best - I hear they're making cuts. 1.2640 0.04163 178 141 27 10
578 Does this say "Branch Manager" to you? 1.2639 0.04406 144 112 26 6
579 Why thank you, I did! Although I prefer the term ‘spruced up’. 1.2638 0.04158 163 127 29 7
580 It's picture day. 1.2637 0.03832 201 158 33 10
581 That's not what I meant when I said we should tie one on. 1.2635 0.04264 167 132 26 9
582 Well … at least I still don’t have to wear pants! 1.2635 0.04179 167 131 28 8
583 I’ve got protected status now 1.2635 0.04348 167 133 24 10
584 Because yellow ribbons are soooo 1973, that’s why. 1.2635 0.04430 167 134 22 11
585 Trying to spruce it up a little 1.2634 0.04109 186 148 27 11
586 Trying to get noticed when you can’t see the forest for the trees. 1.2634 0.04248 186 150 23 13
587 I’m all dressed up and no place to go. 1.2632 0.04112 171 134 29 8
588 They say knots add character. 1.2632 0.04183 190 153 24 13
589 What do you mean I’ve forgotten my roots? 1.2632 0.04643 152 122 20 10
590 You must dress for business if you want to branch out. 1.2629 0.04285 175 140 24 11
591 I forgot that it was casual Friday. 1.2628 0.04372 156 123 25 8
592 My sapling gave it to me on Arbor Day. 1.2622 0.04225 164 129 27 8
593 I thought that I'd dress up for the fall festival. 1.2616 0.04636 172 142 15 15
594 You may be fine with becoming toilet paper... I have aspirations of being a resume. 1.2614 0.04616 153 123 20 10
595 So...those Slackline kids...? 1.2611 0.04482 180 148 17 15
596 Hi, we're the Firs. I'm Douglas and this is my wife Connie. 1.2611 0.04412 180 147 19 14
597 I guess I really tied one on last night. 1.2609 0.04273 161 127 26 8
598 Before I propose I’d like to recite a poem by Joyce Kilmer. 1.2606 0.04290 165 131 25 9
599 My saplings gave it to me for Arbour Day. 1.2606 0.04621 165 135 17 13
600 If I don't start going back into the office, I'm going to get the axe." 1.2601 0.04539 173 142 17 14
601 I know I'm stationary, but I'm moving up in the world. 1.2601 0.04232 173 138 25 10
602 Hi, I'm from the Bureau of Tree Management. 1.2600 0.04379 150 118 25 7
603 I know. This is not our typical knot. 1.2599 0.04087 177 140 28 9
604 I’m branching out into sales. 1.2597 0.04400 154 122 24 8
605 Dress for the forest you want,not the forest you have. 1.2597 0.03949 181 142 31 8
606 I could be next to get the axe! 1.2595 0.04323 158 125 25 8
607 Don’t you think it makes me look more deciduous? 1.2595 0.04506 158 127 21 10
608 Is it obvious I'm wearing a toupee? 1.2595 0.04594 158 128 19 11
609 Yeah! I'm makin' a play for that cute tree-hugger! So what? 1.2593 0.04513 162 131 20 11
610 They won't let me work from home anymore. 1.2590 0.04180 166 131 27 8
611 The biggest challenge was tying it without a mirror! 1.2590 0.04351 166 133 23 10
612 Yeah, I know I'm not going anywhere, but that doesn't mean I'm going to give up on dressing professionally. 1.2590 0.04092 166 130 29 7
613 I’ve got a job interview but I’m not sure I want to make a move. I’m pretty firmly rooted right now. 1.2588 0.04197 170 135 26 9
614 It's Arbor Day, that's why! 1.2586 0.04289 174 140 23 11
615 I keep forgetting I can work from home 1.2584 0.04067 178 141 28 9
616 I'm headed for the board room. 1.2579 0.04391 159 127 23 9
617 I hate these outdoor weddings. 1.2577 0.04170 194 158 22 14
618 Looks okay, but it's a bitch to tie. 1.2577 0.04488 163 132 20 11
619 You said the bark mitzvah was black tie! 1.2577 0.04136 163 128 28 7
620 Squirrel has a girl tonight. 1.2575 0.04244 167 133 25 9
621 Of course I didn't put it on, you idiot! 1.2575 0.04158 167 132 27 8
622 I'm dressing for the life I want not the life I have. 1.2573 0.04337 171 138 22 11
623 Linda said it makes me look 10 rings younger. 1.2573 0.04569 171 141 16 14
624 Put some clothes on Tom,this is a place of business. 1.2569 0.04267 144 112 27 5
625 They won't let you come naked. 1.2569 0.04596 144 115 21 8
626 So, what are you going to be for Halloween this year? 1.2568 0.04510 148 118 22 8
627 Do you need help with the knot 1.2568 0.04406 148 117 24 7
628 You should be impressed. I did it without any limbs. 1.2566 0.04428 152 121 23 8
629 It used to be a snazzy yellow. 1.2566 0.04328 152 120 25 7
630 There was a misunderstanding when I ordered a tree tie, but I’m keeping it. 1.2566 0.04122 152 118 29 5
631 Today is my kid’s Bark Mitzvah. 1.2564 0.04626 156 127 18 11
632 I’ve had it with knots! From now on it’s only clip-ones. 1.2564 0.03819 195 154 32 9
633 You should see my matching socks. 1.2564 0.04253 156 123 26 7
634 Just thought I'd spruce up today. 1.2564 0.04444 156 125 22 9
635 Getting back to the office has been really difficult. 1.2563 0.03990 160 124 31 5
636 Well, to distract from the broccoli cut. 1.2563 0.04366 160 128 23 9
637 I prefered it when we could just show up via Zoom. 1.2563 0.04455 160 129 21 10
638 How I got it on is unimportant. I asked you if it's on straight. 1.2563 0.04455 160 129 21 10
639 Don't be such a crabapple. I think it looks good. 1.2561 0.04463 164 133 20 11
640 Isn't this a formal garden? 1.2561 0.04114 164 129 28 7
641 Lights AND decorations! Babe, we can’t keep trying to keep up with the Evergreens, It’s not healthy and we just can’t afford it. 1.2557 0.04245 176 142 23 11
642 If we're going to be anthropomorphized, let's do it with some class. 1.2556 0.04027 180 143 28 9
643 I’m interviewing to be a bookshelf. 1.2556 0.03949 180 142 30 8
644 All dressed up with no place to go. 1.2556 0.04178 180 145 24 11
645 I still feel naked. 1.2553 0.04434 141 111 24 6
646 You think this was tough, try putting on suspenders. 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
647 I'm going to need all of your acorns on my desk by 5 pm. 1.2552 0.04567 145 116 21 8
648 I’m branching out. 1.2550 0.04583 149 120 20 9
649 How else would they know? 1.2550 0.04380 149 118 24 7
650 I’m interviewing for the carbon capture job today. 1.2550 0.04680 149 121 18 10
651 It really ties the outfit together 1.2550 0.04583 149 120 20 9
652 I'm tired of looking like freaking broccoli! 1.2549 0.04593 153 124 19 10
653 And they told me I start at the paper office this afternoon. 1.2549 0.04402 153 122 23 8
654 I'm going to the office today. 1.2548 0.03929 157 121 32 4
655 I might've misunderstood plans to clean-cut this area... 1.2548 0.04510 157 127 20 10
656 I've been invited to The Oak Room. 1.2548 0.04418 157 126 22 9
657 And then I dreamt I went to work without my pants…. 1.2547 0.04602 161 132 17 12
658 I found a way to keep my dignity during the fall season. 1.2547 0.04342 161 129 23 9
659 If I took off my tie, would anybody know? 1.2545 0.04269 165 132 24 9
660 The kids gave it to me for my birthday. 1.2543 0.04050 173 137 28 8
661 This fall, I'm going down in style. 1.2536 0.03992 138 105 31 2
662 Hello gorgeous. 1.2535 0.04518 142 113 22 7
663 I can log-in from anywhere, I never have to leave 1.2533 0.04652 150 122 18 10
664 I won carbon offset of the month. 1.2532 0.04658 154 126 17 11
665 And no place to go. 1.2532 0.04376 154 123 23 8
666 Why can’t the Yuppies in this neighborhood just let their dogs pee on us and move on? 1.2532 0.04660 158 130 16 12
667 Have you seen my pants? 1.2532 0.04393 158 127 22 9
668 My kid gave it to me for Arbor Day so I kind of feel like I have to wear it. 1.2531 0.04318 162 130 23 9
669 I'm hoping NOT to make the cut. 1.2531 0.04406 162 131 21 10
670 It's the knot,not the tie! 1.2531 0.04318 162 130 23 9
671 Why'd you take yours off?!? 1.2529 0.04177 170 136 25 9
672 My yellow ribbon has ambition. 1.2529 0.04029 174 138 28 8
673 Thought I’d best look smart for my tree surgeon appointment 1.2529 0.03946 174 137 30 7
674 I haven't been peed on for months now! 1.2527 0.04145 186 151 23 12
675 Looks like I made the cut. 1.2519 0.04299 135 105 26 4
676 I just got tired of being gender neutral. 1.2518 0.04577 139 111 21 7
677 It's called fashion and I don't need your shade. 1.2517 0.04407 147 117 23 7
678 Boss said I was going some place called, ‘The Wood Chipper.’ Is my tie on straight? 1.2517 0.04407 147 117 23 7
679 I thought I'd hate my desk job, but my Boss' bark is worse than his bite. 1.2517 0.04429 151 121 22 8
680 Rumor is cuts are coming. I'm trying to avoid the axe. 1.2516 0.04539 155 126 19 10
681 I’m hoping to get lucky and pollinate tonight. 1.2515 0.04205 163 130 25 8
682 Yeah, a nice guy with a chainsaw gave it to me 1.2515 0.04294 163 131 23 9
683 Do you have a shirt with no arms I can borrow. 1.2515 0.04551 163 134 17 12
684 I'm all dressed up with no place I can go. 1.2515 0.04294 163 131 23 9
685 I didn't do it. I have no arms. 1.2515 0.04552 167 138 16 13
686 Where do you see yourself five years from now? 1.2514 0.04090 175 140 26 9
687 Son, it would serve you well to “spruce” yourself up a bit. “The clothes make the tree!” 1.2514 0.03869 179 141 31 7
688 No, I didn't get the job. And Madison Square Garden isn't what you thought it was. 1.2500 0.04421 156 126 21 9
689 I've got a board meeting today. 1.2500 0.04063 160 126 28 6
690 Do the stripes make me look fat? 1.2500 0.04063 160 126 28 6
691 I’m trying to get a loan from my local branch. 1.2500 0.04200 168 135 24 9
692 If you or a loved one has been attacked by a beaver, you may be entitled to financial compensation. 1.2500 0.04570 144 116 20 8
693 I know it's only our first date, but I feel like we can put down roots together 1.2500 0.04586 148 120 19 9
694 Dress professionally to avoid the axe. 1.2500 0.04252 160 128 24 8
695 It helps keep the loggers away. 1.2500 0.04685 148 121 17 10
696 Guess who's just made branch manager? 1.2500 0.04182 164 131 25 8
697 Logger said something about going out in style. 1.2500 0.04008 136 104 30 2
698 It's all the paper work that's depressing me. 1.2500 0.04548 140 112 21 7
699 Is it long enough? I'm just a very modest guy. 1.2500 0.04344 160 129 22 9
700 Sorry! I didn’t know this was a nudist colony! 1.2500 0.04513 156 127 19 10
701 If a tree wears a tie in the forest and no one's around to see it, is it still dapper? 1.2500 0.04433 140 111 23 6
702 As you probably guessed, I'm a recent transplant. 1.2500 0.04229 156 124 25 7
703 I don’t know what happened last night but I clearly tied one on! 1.2500 0.04421 156 126 21 9
704 … and from now on, my pronouns are ‘tree/trim’. 1.2500 0.04442 164 134 19 11
705 After this next promotion I’m hoping to put down roots in the suburbs. 1.2500 0.04403 152 122 22 8
706 I opened a branch office in Brooklyn.” 1.2485 0.04093 169 135 26 8
707 But what if I’m not executive desk material? 1.2485 0.04093 169 135 26 8
708 Fall's coming. I want to look my best. 1.2485 0.04247 165 133 23 9
709 No remote work for me. 1.2484 0.04319 161 130 22 9
710 I bet you're wondering how I tied this. 1.2484 0.04408 161 131 20 10
711 I feel like I’ve finally grown up. 1.2484 0.04041 161 127 28 6
712 A bow tie woulda been too formal. I just want to show the migratory birds some hospitality. 1.2484 0.03965 153 119 30 4
713 If we're not allowed to accessorize, we might as well be animals. 1.2484 0.04278 153 122 24 7
714 I heard I was being taken out today. 1.2484 0.03965 153 119 30 4
715 I believe in growth, but also stability. 1.2484 0.04176 153 121 26 6
716 I think they do this before they chop you down. 1.2483 0.04354 149 119 23 7
717 Found it in my trunk. Thought I'd tie one on. Might make me more poplar. 1.2483 0.04558 149 121 19 9
718 Actually, I'm going by Douglas now. 1.2483 0.03979 145 112 30 3
719 It's actually easier than putting on my underwear. 1.2483 0.04646 145 118 18 9
720 I'm worried your mother fell in the forest, but no one's heard a thing. 1.2482 0.04405 141 112 23 6
721 It's from our fall catalog. 1.2471 0.03925 174 138 29 7
722 That man with the hickory shirt said he was coming back for me today 1.2471 0.04478 170 141 16 13
723 It makes me feel taller. 1.2470 0.04048 166 132 27 7
724 You’re so lucky! I have to go to private school! 1.2470 0.03956 166 131 29 6
725 Deceptively easily, actually. It's a clip-on." 1.2470 0.04224 166 134 23 9
726 Of course it’s a clip on! 1.2469 0.04019 162 128 28 6
727 Since I have roots in the community, I just felt like dressing up for Arbor day 1.2469 0.04384 162 132 20 10
728 If I'm going bald in the fall, I can at least dress well. 1.2468 0.04182 158 126 25 7
729 All I heard them say was they’re taking our PHOTOsynthesis… 1.2468 0.03882 158 123 31 4
730 My career has prospered since we’ve put down roots. 1.2468 0.04182 158 126 25 7
731 Nothing formal, it’s the best I could do for Halloween. 1.2466 0.04718 146 120 16 10
732 My boss just told me I've been uprooted. 1.2463 0.04670 134 108 19 7
733 Not ‘why?’…’how’. 1.2462 0.04511 130 103 22 5
734 The cute lumberjack said he's taking me out. 1.2459 0.03794 183 145 31 7
735 I don’t have the shoulders for a jacket. 1.2456 0.03964 171 136 28 7
736 Tim, how do I take this off? 1.2454 0.04272 163 132 22 9
737 I figure if I wear a tie I won’t get the axe. 1.2454 0.04182 163 131 24 8
738 I know! It's not yellow, it's not a ribbon and I'm not an oak tree. 1.2454 0.04272 163 132 22 9
739 I thought we should make it legal before we cross pollinate. 1.2452 0.04327 155 125 22 8
740 It's a clip-on, but they said no one will be able to tell. 1.2450 0.04199 151 120 25 6
741 Someone from the city wanted to remember where he ate dinner. 1.2450 0.04404 151 122 21 8
742 So, what exactly do we DO here? 1.2450 0.04600 151 124 17 10
743 He was out of ribbon. 1.2449 0.04162 147 116 26 5
744 I always feel so underdressed when autumn comes. 1.2449 0.04273 147 117 24 6
745 Wait, are you saying you have not seen Suits on Netflix? 1.2448 0.04462 143 115 21 7
746 If you were a woodpecker, who would YOU mess with? 1.2444 0.03999 135 104 29 2
747 I actually asked for a mullet but he insisted an afro was on-trend. 1.2444 0.04639 135 109 19 7
748 I have a date with a tree hugger. 1.2439 0.03975 164 130 28 6
749 We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warran-tree 1.2439 0.04421 164 135 18 11
750 Hi. I'm from the Branch Office. 1.2437 0.04229 160 129 23 8
751 Does this make my neck look fat? 1.2437 0.04586 160 133 15 12
752 Funny thing is, I don't even have a neck. 1.2436 0.04397 156 127 20 9
753 ‘You’re the one who wanted to put down roots. 1.2436 0.04302 156 126 22 8
754 Today I want to be a man. Tomorrow, who knows. 1.2434 0.04573 152 125 17 10
755 Autumn is here, how do I look? 1.2434 0.04174 152 121 25 6
756 It's my first day at the new branch 1.2432 0.04247 148 118 24 6
757 I’m trying to get my office to go paperless. 1.2432 0.04247 148 118 24 6
758 I don't care about the Senate, Steve. We still have a dress code around here. 1.2432 0.04660 148 122 16 10
759 How do I get this thing off! 1.2432 0.04458 148 120 20 8
760 Why the frown? You knew I was deciduous when you met me. 1.2431 0.04210 144 114 25 5
761 Before I started wearing the necktie, I got Bob Ross all the time too. 1.2431 0.04543 144 117 19 8
762 I thought it was business casual. 1.2429 0.04286 140 111 24 5
763 How's my hair? 1.2426 0.04608 136 110 19 7
764 First day at the paper mill. 1.2426 0.04725 136 111 17 8
765 Dress for the job you want,not the one you have! 1.2426 0.04489 136 109 21 6
766 I have an interview at a paper company. Too dressy? 1.2426 0.04403 169 140 17 12
767 ‘Its the commute that kills me’ 1.2426 0.04240 169 138 21 10
768 I like to look nice for tornado season. 1.2424 0.03859 165 130 30 5
769 You never thought that you would see a tie so lovely on a tree. 1.2424 0.04137 165 133 24 8
770 What did one tree say to the other? . . . . . Nothing 1.2424 0.04703 132 107 18 7
771 And then the boy said, "I need some money," and I said, "Stop shaking my tree and go get a damn job." 1.2422 0.04560 161 134 15 12
772 godot is late again! 1.2422 0.04929 128 105 15 8
773 I was planted as part of a fund-raising gala. 1.2420 0.04371 157 128 20 9
774 He, him, his, from now on, please. 1.2420 0.04464 157 129 18 10
775 It's the latest in tree trimming. 1.2418 0.04546 153 126 17 10
776 They're moving me to a formal garden. 1.2418 0.04150 153 122 25 6
777 Do I look too stiff? 1.2416 0.04328 149 120 22 7
778 Which branch did you say you were from? 1.2416 0.04328 149 120 22 7
779 I've been told it makes me look hundreds of years younger 1.2416 0.04532 149 122 18 9
780 During all the seasonal changes, I guess it makes me feel more myself. 1.2414 0.04722 145 120 15 10
781 I decided to "spruce" it up a bit. 1.2414 0.04297 145 116 23 6
782 Enough already with this casual Friday thing. 1.2414 0.04184 145 115 25 5
783 I wasn't aware this place was a nudist colony! 1.2411 0.04490 141 114 20 7
784 I've always liked you, and I want to know if you will raise a hammock with me. 1.2411 0.04490 141 114 20 7
785 I'm going as a human 1.2409 0.04459 137 110 21 6
786 If a tree wears a tie in a forest, does anyone care? 1.2409 0.03949 137 106 29 2
787 I used to be the man. Wall Street big shot. Sports car, mega yacht, 6 million dollar house, supermodel wife. Everything a guy could want. But I got greedy. Wanted an enchanted amulet, too. One with a big red ruby and arcane runes. You know the type. Took it from the wrong wizard and next thing I know, BAM. Talking tree for the rest of my life. But be honest. Does this tie make me look like a jackass? 1.2409 0.04807 137 113 15 9
788 No, I still don't remember how I tied it. 1.2407 0.04089 162 130 25 7
789 I'm trying to attract a better class of bird. 1.2405 0.04346 158 129 20 9
790 Interview today. 1.2405 0.04253 158 128 22 8
791 Still no pants! 1.2403 0.04228 154 124 23 7
792 Put on your red dress baby, fall is coming! 1.2402 0.03908 179 144 27 8
793 The dress code is strict, but they are allowing me to work from by backyard. 1.2400 0.04302 150 121 22 7
794 Come on. How could you forget about Arbor Day? 1.2400 0.04738 125 101 18 6
795 It’s all about marketing yourself, Gerald. I’d rather be a conference table than mulch. 1.2397 0.04486 146 119 19 8
796 "I'm tired of being mistaken for stalk of broccoli." 1.2395 0.04003 167 134 26 7
797 Because I think relaxing the dress code degrades the forest! 1.2394 0.04232 142 113 24 5
798 I’ve decided to dress for the job I want. 1.2394 0.04232 142 113 24 5
799 Do you know how to get tree sap out of a tie ? " 1.2391 0.04185 138 109 25 4
800 They say it'll make me more poplar. 1.2391 0.04548 138 112 19 7
801 I think it makes me look stately. 1.2387 0.04203 155 125 23 7
802 I've got an interview with Louisville Slugger. 1.2387 0.03999 155 123 27 5
803 Oh come on, put one on. Arbor Day only comes around once a year. 1.2387 0.04302 155 126 21 8
804 They say we’ll get axed if we don’t start taking this job seriously. 1.2387 0.03999 155 123 27 5
805 What’s that look for? I just wanted to spruce myself up a bit today. 1.2387 0.04203 155 125 23 7
806 I always wear it on the first day of Fall. 1.2384 0.04378 151 123 20 8
807 No! I am not touching your roots. 1.2384 0.04276 151 122 22 7
808 Sprucing it up so that I'm pined for. 1.2384 0.04378 151 123 20 8
809 A Yellow Ribbon is sooo dated! 1.2381 0.04459 147 120 19 8
810 Why don't you ask Fido why the end of my tie is wet! 1.2381 0.04459 147 120 19 8
811 I know, I forgot it was casual Arbor Day. 1.2381 0.04353 147 119 21 7
812 Don't be impressed. It's a clip-on. 1.2381 0.03891 168 134 28 6
813 If I look older, they might spare me. 1.2381 0.04704 126 102 18 6
814 Do you think it makes me look taller? 1.2378 0.04313 164 135 19 10
815 Got it from John Fetterman. 1.2378 0.04650 143 118 16 9
816 I have a Zoom interview later. 1.2378 0.04434 143 116 20 7
817 I’ve signed up to host my microclimate on AirTree&Tree. 1.2375 0.04476 160 133 16 11
818 I'm board. 1.2374 0.04744 139 115 15 9
819 Wait, it's not Arbor Day? 1.2370 0.04487 135 109 20 6
820 Have you heard about our lord and savior, Treesus Christ? 1.2370 0.05065 135 114 10 11
821 I just want to make sure she sees the tree for the forest 1.2368 0.04736 152 128 12 12
822 Once I found my neck it was easy. 1.2368 0.04352 152 124 20 8
823 No one told me it was business casual. 1.2368 0.04352 152 124 20 8
824 Remote work was fine, but I'm really enjoying being back in the nursery. 1.2368 0.04352 152 124 20 8
825 Does it look too summery? 1.2366 0.04576 131 106 19 6
826 And--get this--you tie it with what THEY call a knot! 1.2366 0.04946 131 109 13 9
827 Tell me the truth, does this tie make my neck look fat? 1.2364 0.04022 165 133 25 7
828 I think it means that I've made the cut. 1.2362 0.04803 127 104 16 7
829 But at least it’s not an embarrassingly long red tie. 1.2361 0.04926 144 122 10 12
830 The plant is hiring. 1.2361 0.04621 144 119 16 9
831 I'd love to tell you about some exciting new growth opportunities. 1.2360 0.04181 161 131 22 8
832 I hope Shel Silverstein doesn’t stop by. 1.2358 0.05301 123 104 9 10
833 I'm rooting for you 1.2357 0.04373 140 113 21 6
834 They liked me alright but I was little wooden during the interview. 1.2357 0.04373 140 113 21 6
835 I miss the days when kids just carved their initials in us. 1.2357 0.04373 140 113 21 6
836 Of course, I'm opposed to the Senate's new dress code! 1.2357 0.04489 140 114 19 7
837 I've got a date with a palm. 1.2357 0.04489 140 114 19 7
838 The timber bosses say they’ll keep me on. 1.2356 0.03522 174 136 35 3
839 Is it working? Do I look slimmer? 1.2353 0.04326 153 125 20 8
840 A ventriloquist has threatened me. 1.2353 0.04577 136 111 18 7
841 I’m just saying, when they come to chop down a tree they won’t choose the one wearing a tie 1.2353 0.04695 136 112 16 8
842 I know I'm the branch manager now, Dave, but I'll never forget my symbiotic system of interconnected roots. 1.2349 0.04266 166 137 19 10
843 Don't ask me how I did it. 1.2349 0.04300 149 121 21 7
844 I'll never make it to this interview! 1.2349 0.03971 149 118 27 4
845 All dressed up, no place to leave. 1.2349 0.04084 149 119 25 5
846 I’m sprucing up so I can be more poplar. 1.2348 0.04416 132 106 21 5
847 I can't take it off 1.2348 0.04545 132 107 19 6
848 Honey, does this tie make my neck look fat? 1.2348 0.04793 132 109 15 8
849 I want to assure you that if you fall and no one is around I will hear you. 1.2346 0.03969 162 130 26 6
850 Oh really? Well you look naked. 1.2345 0.04486 145 119 18 8
851 I find it’s best to avoid looking like deadwood around here. 1.2345 0.04268 145 117 22 6
852 Be honest: Snappy or sappy? 1.2343 0.03945 175 142 25 8
853 It draws the eye to the trunk and away from the thinning up top. 1.2342 0.04032 158 127 25 6
854 Want to avoid becoming a stump? Simple--put on a necktie. 1.2342 0.04228 158 129 21 8
855 Guess which one of us isn't getting cut down? 1.2340 0.04682 141 117 15 9
856 The city hired a high-end arborist. 1.2340 0.04461 141 115 19 7
857 I’m getting ready for the fall gala. 1.2340 0.04682 141 117 15 9
858 The interview went well but I’m not out of the woods yet. 1.2340 0.04106 141 112 25 4
859 I forgot today is casual Friday. 1.2339 0.04451 124 99 21 4
860 Oh yeah, well you look like a broccoli stalk. 1.2336 0.04547 137 112 18 7
861 Fall fashion is about more than just foliage. 1.2336 0.04178 137 109 24 4
862 This one or the paisley? 1.2333 0.04060 150 120 25 5
863 This is a nudist colony?! 1.2333 0.04274 150 122 21 7
864 It was a gift from Bob Ross. He once painted me, then copied my hair style. 1.2333 0.04479 150 124 17 9
865 I'm transitioning. 1.2333 0.04543 120 96 20 4
866 Wait. The invite said beech casual?? 1.2331 0.04401 163 136 16 11
867 Greenpeace is looking for a new tree as the face of their latest deforestation campaign. How do I look? 1.2331 0.04639 133 109 17 7
868 I just felt I needed a new kind of knot 1.2329 0.04351 146 119 20 7
869 With Fall coming a I start to feel underdressed. 1.2329 0.04458 146 120 18 8
870 The interview went great but I'm a little worried. They said I was perfect for the job because I have the IQ of a fence post. 1.2327 0.04204 159 130 21 8
871 Yes, but I'm the branch *manager. 1.2327 0.04389 159 132 17 10
872 I know what a yellow ribbon means, but I have no idea what this indicates.... 1.2327 0.04204 159 130 21 8
873 Looks like somebody tied one on last night. 1.2326 0.04984 129 108 12 9
874 I'll have you know that I'm not just any White Oak. I'm a White-Collar Oak. 1.2326 0.04335 129 103 22 4
875 I am trying to be elected for the Supreme court bench. 1.2326 0.04606 129 105 18 6
876 I'm hoping it will attract a more upscale clientele of squirrels. 1.2323 0.04075 155 125 24 6
877 I have an appointment with the trimmer before my interview at the arboretum. Wish me luck! 1.2323 0.03971 155 124 26 5
878 I'm the reason they can't see the forest. 1.2321 0.04134 168 138 21 9
879 I think it helps me attract more CO2. 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
880 Yeah. Well I don't CARE what Fetterman wears! 1.2319 0.04399 138 112 20 6
881 It seems to impress my Arborist. 1.2318 0.04351 151 124 19 8
882 Want to tie one on tonight? 1.2318 0.04351 151 124 19 8
883 Do think stripes complement my bark? 1.2317 0.03829 164 131 28 5
884 Too much for a first date? 1.2317 0.04202 164 135 20 9
885 Does the tie go with my Afro? 1.2313 0.04845 134 112 13 9
886 I’m afraid the horizontal stripes make my trunk look too fat. 1.2313 0.04091 134 106 25 3
887 I'm the paper mill's new diversity hire. 1.2313 0.04484 134 109 19 6
888 When is your company planning to return to the office? 1.2313 0.04324 147 120 20 7
889 We're talking trees and you think the tie is the weird part? 1.2313 0.04535 147 122 16 9
890 I took that job in forest management 1.2313 0.04103 147 118 24 5
891 I'm so nervous -- my first day as Branch Manager! 1.2313 0.04324 147 120 20 7
892 I'm going into their formal garden. 1.2313 0.04215 147 119 22 6
893 Look at me, I'm middle management and I'm about to get the axe. 1.2313 0.04215 147 119 22 6
894 The invitation said Fall Formal. 1.2313 0.03988 147 117 26 4
895 I turned down the offer because it was way too shady. 1.2312 0.04180 160 131 21 8
896 Im trying to become an Ikea shelf, does the tie make me look more employable? 1.2308 0.04174 143 115 23 5
897 I've been selected for an executive panel. 1.2308 0.03829 182 148 26 8
898 I think it's time for you to branch out and wear a tie like me 1.2308 0.04152 156 127 22 7
899 Zoom call. 1.2308 0.04404 143 117 19 7
900 Aren't you going to ask me how I tied this tie? 1.2308 0.04514 143 118 17 8
901 Happy Birthday?! Each year I inch closer to strangulation by this infernal necktie and you wish me a happy birthday?! 1.2308 0.04514 143 118 17 8
902 Those humans always need to assign a gender” 1.2308 0.04052 156 126 24 6
903 I've joined Corporate. 1.2303 0.04119 152 123 23 6
904 I'm not from this neck of the woods. 1.2303 0.04425 152 126 17 9
905 I believe aristocrats are generally spared the ax. 1.2303 0.04325 152 125 19 8
906 I got axed. 1.2302 0.04249 139 112 22 5
907 I know we said Bob Ross, but I really wanted to be Garfunkel this year. 1.2302 0.04714 139 116 14 9
908 Is that your root, tickling mine? 1.2298 0.03764 161 128 29 4
909 I heard they’re doing cuts next Fall 1.2297 0.04190 148 120 22 6
910 The bow tie made me look fat. 1.2296 0.04198 135 108 23 4
911 I need to express myself more often than just during “fall colors." 1.2293 0.04415 157 131 16 10
912 I’m gonna make a lot of paper someday! 1.2293 0.04226 157 129 20 8
913 I decided to branch out. 1.2292 0.04148 144 116 23 5
914 Wish me luck on the interview. I'd really love to put down roots here 1.2292 0.04148 144 116 23 5
915 Well, we're trees. We're supposed to have knots. 1.2288 0.04240 118 93 23 2
916 I'm dressing for the job I want: branch manager. 1.2288 0.04569 118 95 19 4
917 The invitation said formal dresscode, and you show up naked?! 1.2288 0.04300 153 126 19 8
918 This tie will go great with my autumn colors. 1.2286 0.04342 140 114 20 6
919 Yes. Here I am, all dressed up but now where to go. 1.2286 0.04222 140 113 22 5
920 They canceled casual Fridays 1.2286 0.04098 140 112 24 4
921 You must not have received the memo, about the celebration of Arbor Day." 1.2283 0.04635 127 104 17 6
922 Whenever I try to look nice you always cut me down. 1.2283 0.05023 127 107 11 9
923 Honestly, I prefer casual dress but... well, I have deep roots in this area. 1.2283 0.04498 127 103 19 5
924 Yes, I made sure it's not red and long. 1.2282 0.04479 149 124 16 9
925 I think the job interview went well. I’m just not sure logistically I can do a long commute. 1.2282 0.04377 149 123 18 8
926 They had a yard sale. 1.2282 0.04377 149 123 18 8
927 I'm 150. I'm not trying to look like a sapling anymore. 1.2279 0.04424 136 111 19 6
928 Want to hear acorny joke? 1.2279 0.04038 136 108 25 3
929 Job interview. 1.2279 0.04424 136 111 19 6
930 I swiped right on Timber. Now what? 1.2279 0.04545 136 112 17 7
931 Wish me luck. I've got a job interview with a carbon offset scheme. 1.2276 0.03883 145 115 27 3
932 I have 81 years experience as a branch manager but they still gave me the chop 1.2276 0.04237 145 118 21 6
933 Can you believe I just got promoted to branch manager? 1.2276 0.04005 145 116 25 4
934 Tell me the truth, does this tie make me look like a sap? 1.2276 0.04458 145 120 17 8
935 I can't wait to get this off and let my hair down. 1.2273 0.03965 154 124 25 5
936 I'm hoping becoming a professional mathematician will help me figure out why I keep getting square roots. 1.2273 0.04637 132 109 16 7
937 A cartoonist from The New Yorker is coming by today, at least you could throw on a tie or something 1.2273 0.04511 132 108 18 6
938 Boss said no more work from home. 1.2273 0.04274 154 127 19 8
939 I just want to look good for the caption contest 1.2273 0.04174 154 126 21 7
940 Didn’t you get the notice about this becoming a *formal* garden? 1.2270 0.04543 141 117 16 8
941 I had to wear it for the Zoom interview, and I got the job. But I kinda like it. 1.2270 0.04543 141 117 16 8
942 Of course I dressed up! My mom will be passing by in a logging truck later today. 1.2270 0.04430 141 116 18 7
943 I'm serious. I think we need to rethink these haircuts. 1.2270 0.04314 141 115 20 6
944 Does this tie make my ash look big? 1.2267 0.04551 150 126 14 10
945 If you think THIS is too much, wait till you see what I picked out for Halloween. 1.2267 0.04139 150 122 22 6
946 I have to dress to impress if they're going to make me a branch manager some day. 1.2267 0.04452 150 125 16 9
947 Figured I should dress up for the board meeting. 1.2267 0.04030 150 121 24 5
948 It looks like the finance team at the parks department picked out the trail markers this year. 1.2267 0.04551 150 126 14 10
949 I want to look good for my book tour. 1.2266 0.04466 128 104 19 5
950 The rings around the collar are murder 1.2266 0.04602 128 105 17 6
951 Some sap put this here last night. 1.2266 0.04602 128 105 17 6
952 I believe that by looking professional I'm less likely to get the axe. 1.2264 0.04364 159 133 16 10
953 Apparently we can no longer say on the application what kind of tree we are. 1.2263 0.04271 137 111 21 5
954 Town council said we need to present a formal argument against the proposed parking lot. 1.2263 0.04143 137 110 23 4
955 It tickles 1.2260 0.04430 146 121 17 8
956 Well, I overheard that we were to take up residence in a formal garden. 1.2260 0.04097 146 118 23 5
957 I'm hoping to attract a better breed of dog to pee on me. 1.2260 0.04535 146 122 15 9
958 All tied up and nowhere to go? 1.2260 0.04211 146 119 21 6
959 I've got a job interview with a logging company. 1.2256 0.04218 133 107 22 4
960 We all just want to be heard. 1.2256 0.04605 133 110 16 7
961 That doesn’t change anything. You’re not a Branch Manager. You’re a Branch. 1.2256 0.04727 133 111 14 8
962 So he tells me after I leave that he wants to axe me 1.2254 0.04287 142 116 20 6
963 I heard there was goin’ to be some tree huggin’ today! 1.2254 0.04287 142 116 20 6
964 Don't worry, it's 100% animal fabric 1.2254 0.04287 142 116 20 6
965 Sorry, I've already tied the knot. 1.2252 0.04114 151 123 22 6
966 It will draw attention away from this ridiculous haircut. 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
967 Like it? I got it at a trunk show in town. 1.2248 0.04296 129 104 21 4
968 I have a Zoom meeting. 1.2248 0.04296 129 104 21 4
969 Let's just call it a tie 1.2248 0.04700 129 107 15 7
970 I didn't think the yellow ribbon suited my personality. 1.2244 0.04321 156 130 17 9
971 I have a job interview and don’t want to look like a sap. 1.2242 0.04064 165 136 21 8
972 It always falls off in September 1.2241 0.04429 116 93 20 3
973 Trying to look my best for the lumberjack! 1.2241 0.04596 116 94 18 4
974 I just wanted to spruce up a bit. 1.2240 0.04379 125 101 20 4
975 I’m dressing for the furniture I will be, not the tree that I am. 1.2240 0.04379 125 101 20 4
976 I thought that I would formally say goodbye to my leaves. 1.2239 0.04449 134 110 18 6
977 Dogs are less likely to visit you if you’re wearing formal attire. 1.2239 0.04695 134 112 14 8
978 I invested in NFTrees. 1.2239 0.04695 134 112 14 8
979 Tomorrow? Bough tie. 1.2238 0.04803 143 122 10 11
980 I've had it with bowties. 1.2238 0.04259 143 117 20 6
981 It draws focus from my forehead. 1.2237 0.03982 152 123 24 5
982 Well, now I get rings around the collar. 1.2231 0.04310 121 97 21 3
983 You should dress for the arboretum you aspire to be transplanted into. 1.2231 0.04619 121 99 17 5
984 I did say something. I looked him right in his stupid brown eyes when I said it, too. Carbon offsets!!? REAlly? That’s where we’re at now? After all these years, Doug? After all I’ve done for you? Really?! You could at least have the decency not to lie to my face. I expected more from you. I really did. I deserve more. In fact, we all do. 1.2231 0.04793 130 109 13 8
985 I finally tied the knot! 1.2230 0.04571 139 116 15 8
986 Once you get the tie, then you get the power. Once you get the power, then you get the extensive underground root system. 1.2230 0.04479 148 124 15 9
987 Then I realized, I can’t stay a sapling forever. 1.2230 0.04048 148 120 23 5
988 Alas, the paper trail leads to me. 1.2229 0.03791 157 126 27 4
989 Growing hard or hardly growing? 1.2222 0.04419 135 111 18 6
990 I know it clashes...it'll look better with the Fall colors. 1.2222 0.04116 144 117 22 5
991 I hate to tell you this, but you're just not fit to be tied. 1.2222 0.04419 135 111 18 6
992 It's Arbor Day. I thought that I'd dress-up. 1.2222 0.03849 153 123 26 4
993 Hikers coming……from the city” 1.2222 0.03885 126 99 26 1
994 I left my other tie in the trunk. 1.2222 0.04293 135 110 20 5
995 I’ve got a Zoom. 1.2222 0.04631 126 104 16 6
996 I want people to still notice me after I loose my leaves. 1.2222 0.04162 135 109 22 4
997 You told me it was a costume party! 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
998 I’m English 1.2222 0.04898 126 106 12 8
999 I heard they’re making cuts - you might want to start trying a little harder 1.2222 0.04293 135 110 20 5
1000 I just wanted to dress up one more time before I go bald again this fall 1.2215 0.04243 149 123 19 7
1001 Sir, you can’t come in here without a tie. 1.2214 0.04188 140 114 21 5
1002 It helps me feel more professional when I’m working from home. 1.2214 0.03935 140 112 25 3
1003 It’s part of my fall look. 1.2214 0.03951 131 104 25 2
1004 2 birds are doing it in my branches. Hence, the tie on the doorknob. 1.2213 0.05272 122 105 7 10
1005 Next she's talking about my getting a trim and throwing out the squirrels. 1.2213 0.04434 122 99 19 4
1006 Well it's just a seasonal position. 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
1007 She dresses me up, but we never go anywhere! 1.2208 0.04146 154 127 20 7
1008 Funny story, but it did start initially with a yellow ribbon. 1.2207 0.04318 145 120 18 7
1009 Do you think the tie distracts from the lack of branches? 1.2207 0.04091 145 118 22 5
1010 It's because I'm old growth. 1.2206 0.04134 136 110 22 4
1011 Judging by the number of rings, this tie has been around longer than both of us. 1.2206 0.04134 136 110 22 4
1012 We're gonna be naked soon - - I can hardly wait! 1.2206 0.04264 136 111 20 5
1013 These days I don't know why I bother. 1.2206 0.04264 136 111 20 5
1014 So I thought 'Tie me up' meant something entirely different. 1.2206 0.04390 136 112 18 6
1015 It's fall fashion week! 1.2205 0.04732 127 106 14 7
1016 I don’t wanna be a part of the corporate ladder 1.2205 0.04732 127 106 14 7
1017 Let me do the talking. 1.2205 0.04460 127 104 18 5
1018 I bet you're wondering how I got this tie on. 1.2203 0.04525 118 96 18 4
1019 It seems I am a male chestnut. I'm a father of 11,872! 1.2200 0.04524 150 127 13 10
1020 Ok, so maybe it is a clip-on. That doesn’t make it any easier for me to put it on. 1.2199 0.04623 141 119 13 9
1021 You try getting this on without any hands! 1.2199 0.04398 141 117 17 7
1022 I feel taller. 1.2199 0.04161 141 115 21 5
1023 There's no mistaking the forest for this tree!" 1.2199 0.04281 141 116 19 6
1024 Lots of us trees are lawyers for the logging company these days. 1.2199 0.04512 141 118 15 8
1025 'Look I'm a human! I have rent and dirty dishes and wear a noose to work just in case its a bad day!" 1.2199 0.04281 141 116 19 6
1026 It’s after five, what am I, a shrub? 1.2199 0.04161 141 115 21 5
1027 It makes it easier to believe in a talking tree. 1.2197 0.04475 132 109 17 6
1028 Sorry. I’m all tied up. 1.2197 0.04209 132 107 21 4
1029 It makes me feel all grown up. 1.2197 0.04602 132 110 15 7
1030 They wouldn’t dare cut me down. I’m wearing a tie for Gods sake. 1.2197 0.04344 132 108 19 5
1031 The yellow ribbon is at the cleaners. 1.2197 0.04475 132 109 17 6
1032 Five years from now,I see myself as an executive desk. 1.2195 0.04551 123 101 17 5
1033 I'm going to a wedding. Exciting to add to the family tree. 1.2195 0.04695 123 102 15 6
1034 I thought that I’d go back to work, now that I’m an empty nester. 1.2195 0.04248 123 99 21 3
1035 Well you’ll certainly never be promoted to branch manager. 1.2193 0.04946 114 95 13 6
1036 Its from my fall season collection. 1.2192 0.03826 146 117 26 3
1037 Why are you wearing that?" "It's for a special occasion, plus I'm gonna be presenting a damning news segment." "That's interesting, because I don't wear a tie and my news is more reliable than yours." "Why don't you make like a tree and SUCK IT?" 1.2192 0.05003 146 128 4 14
1038 It's a Father's Day gift from my acorn. 1.2192 0.04506 146 123 14 9
1039 I'm a Windsor-Knotty Pine. 1.2190 0.04600 137 115 14 8
1040 I'm just hoping the paper factory is hiring. 1.2190 0.04236 137 112 20 5
1041 A barefooted hippy chick claimed it could save my life. 1.2188 0.04141 128 103 22 3
1042 I'm hoping it's a sign of respect not removal. 1.2188 0.04141 128 103 22 3
1043 Yes, we're doing return to the office too. 1.2188 0.04141 128 103 22 3
1044 My dad always wore a tie. 1.2185 0.04085 151 124 21 6
1045 Casual Friday? I had no idea! 1.2185 0.04491 119 97 18 4
1046 You’re my first tinder match! 1.2183 0.04012 142 115 23 4
1047 I think you're branching out a little too much. 1.2183 0.04370 142 118 17 7
1048 If I wear a tie in the forest and nobody sees it, am I really wearing it? 1.2180 0.04694 133 112 13 8
1049 How’s my knot look? 1.2180 0.04444 133 110 17 6
1050 You win,Fetterman. 1.2177 0.04799 124 104 13 7
1051 I know it doesn’t match now, but it’s for an event later this Fall. 1.2177 0.04370 124 101 19 4
1052 I was sprouted as an Elm but have always felt much more like an Elmer. 1.2177 0.04660 124 103 15 6
1053 What if they ask where I see myself in five years? Honest answer? In the exact same place. 1.2177 0.04660 124 103 15 6
1054 And then the interviewer asked me if I were a tree what kind of tree would I be… 1.2177 0.04799 124 104 13 7
1055 The invitation said semi-formal.. 1.2177 0.03923 147 119 24 4
1056 If they're making cuts, I'm leaving before I get fired. 1.2177 0.04040 147 120 22 5
1057 I feel overdressed. 1.2177 0.04265 147 122 18 7
1058 Working from home today Bill? 1.2176 0.03866 170 140 23 7
1059 For the last 3 years, I’ve won Classiest Downtown Bathroom from Dog’s Life Monthly. 1.2174 0.04452 138 115 16 7
1060 The thing is, now I can’t remember why I put it on in the first place! 1.2174 0.04452 138 115 16 7
1061 Dress for the squirrels you want, not the squirrels you have. 1.2174 0.03949 138 111 24 3
1062 I didn't know it was clothing optional! 1.2174 0.03949 138 111 24 3
1063 Is that what you’re wearing? 1.2174 0.04080 138 112 22 4
1064 I've always considered myself office supplies material. 1.2174 0.04452 138 115 16 7
1065 I forgot about casual Friday. 1.2171 0.04397 129 106 18 5
1066 I'm going to need you to do some photosynthesis this weekend. 1.2171 0.04257 129 105 20 4
1067 It's a neck brace to provide lumber support. 1.2171 0.04533 129 107 16 6
1068 I’m running for office, the executive branch. 1.2171 0.04112 129 104 22 3
1069 I’ll distract the lumberjack with a surprise quarterly performance review, and you hit him with a stick. 1.2167 0.03958 120 95 24 1
1070 It might seem vain, but I AM a carbon offset. 1.2167 0.04297 120 97 20 3
1071 They actually pee on me more, now. 1.2167 0.04761 120 100 14 6
1072 No no no this is my High Tied Line. 1.2164 0.04661 134 113 13 8
1073 Does it look OK? I don't have a neck so I just put it under my face. 1.2162 0.04450 148 125 14 9
1074 Im trying to attract better looking pollinators. 1.2160 0.04187 125 101 21 3
1075 How come we never go anywhere? 1.2160 0.04626 125 104 15 6
1076 I heard through the grapevine that the layoffs aren't slowing... it's only a matter of time before we ALL get the axe! 1.2160 0.04338 125 102 19 4
1077 I just hope it goes well with my fall colors. 1.2160 0.04187 125 101 21 3
1078 This is one knot I’m actually proud of. 1.2160 0.04484 125 103 17 5
1079 I was told topiaries are formal. 1.2158 0.04181 139 114 20 5
1080 And I need to wear a tie why? 1.2158 0.04054 139 113 22 4
1081 I've been trying to reach you about your trunk's extended warranty. 1.2158 0.04303 139 115 18 6
1082 and then they asked me "what would be the added value you bring to our company?" 1.2158 0.04423 139 116 16 7
1083 The ranger DID call us ‘mature’. 1.2155 0.04207 116 93 21 2
1084 Love the hair. 1.2155 0.04711 116 96 15 5
1085 It's after 5. Want to tie one on? 1.2154 0.04227 130 106 20 4
1086 If a tree wears a tie, does anyone notice?" 1.2154 0.04227 130 106 20 4
1087 I asked her to tie the knot, and instead she knotted the tie. 1.2154 0.04631 130 109 14 7
1088 I hear in some places, that trees aren't allowed to identify as males. 1.2154 0.04366 130 107 18 5
1089 I guess it’s one of the nicer things you can tie to a tree. 1.2153 0.04200 144 119 19 6
1090 Foliage season heightens my desire to accessorize. 1.2149 0.04577 121 100 16 5
1091 The real bummer is they expect me to start going back to the office. 1.2149 0.04577 121 100 16 5
1092 Yellow Ribbons are so cliche. 1.2149 0.04725 121 101 14 6
1093 Yes! I recently tied the knot! 1.2149 0.04577 121 100 16 5
1094 Do I look oak-ay? 1.2149 0.04725 121 101 14 6
1095 Dress for the forest you want, not the one you’re in. 1.2148 0.04384 135 112 17 6
1096 What can I say? If you want to be taken seriously as a clothes tree, you've got to look the part. 1.2148 0.04629 135 114 13 8
1097 What, do I look a little stiff? 1.2148 0.03988 135 109 23 3
1098 Have you considered investing in stalks and fronds? 1.2148 0.04212 149 124 18 7
1099 Oh no! We have the same haircut! 1.2143 0.04861 126 107 11 8
1100 I will admit, I’m a little nervous about my first day at the sawmill. 1.2143 0.04982 112 94 12 6
1101 I know, right? 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1102 All I know is that some guy from the Senate came by and said he no longer needed it. 1.2143 0.04728 126 106 13 7
1103 What, did no one tell you? It's Formal Friday. 1.2143 0.04307 126 103 19 4
1104 Here I am all dressed up and nowhere to go. 1.2143 0.04117 154 128 19 7
1105 I may not be the only tree in the forest, but you can bet I'm the only one wearing a tie. 1.2143 0.04157 126 102 21 3
1106 I know it’s getting warmer but I still love to dress up! 1.2143 0.03898 140 113 24 3
1107 With the new dress code I can’t wear my yellow ribbon anymore. 1.2143 0.04275 140 116 18 6
1108 I always dress up for migration 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1109 I’m here so I don’t get axed. What about you? 1.2143 0.04157 126 102 21 3
1110 You’ll understand when you turn 150. 1.2138 0.04057 145 119 21 5
1111 as identical twins, I have to find some way to express my individuality! 1.2138 0.04057 145 119 21 5
1112 I am concerned that any spark between us could start a fire 1.2137 0.04469 131 109 16 6
1113 Finally they asked me to be ON the board. 1.2137 0.04198 131 107 20 4
1114 I lost my shirt in a poker game... 1.2137 0.04056 131 106 22 3
1115 How did you recognize me? I'm in disguise!! 1.2137 0.04599 131 110 14 7
1116 It's sad going to work everyday and yet finding yourself in the same place. 1.2137 0.04675 117 97 15 5
1117 My father always told me to dress for the job you want. 1.2137 0.04675 117 97 15 5
1118 I like to think of myself as office material. 1.2137 0.04175 117 94 21 2
1119 Yeah,I know…nobody knows what “cocktail attire” means. 1.2137 0.04675 117 97 15 5
1120 Thought I’d zhuzh it up for Arbor Day. 1.2137 0.05126 117 100 9 8
1121 Business in the front, party up top. 1.2133 0.04292 150 126 16 8
1122 My squirrels are really into fashion week. 1.2132 0.04355 136 113 17 6
1123 I'll make sure they can't see the forest for THIS tree. 1.2132 0.04355 136 113 17 6
1124 Actually it’s not so amazing. It’s a clip on” 1.2132 0.04598 136 115 13 8
1125 I think you’re sexy, too. But should we bring saplings into the world, given the 10-decade forecast? 1.2132 0.04228 136 112 19 5
1126 I know money doesn’t grow on me, but at least I can dress for success. 1.2131 0.04391 122 100 18 4
1127 You forgot Arbor Day ? 1.2131 0.04391 122 100 18 4
1128 Damn squirrels. 1.2131 0.04970 122 104 10 8
1129 Climbing up the tree ladder! I have surpassed my carbon dioxide intake target of the year! 1.2131 0.04689 122 102 14 6
1130 After putting down roots, this whole 'back to office' thing is for the birds. 1.2131 0.04689 122 102 14 6
1131 All I'm saying is it wouldn't kill you to put in a little effort once in a while. 1.2130 0.04567 108 88 17 3
1132 Every year I get a tie. What I really want is a hat. 1.2130 0.04373 108 87 19 2
1133 I get a lot more respect -- the dogs always ask before they pee on me. 1.2129 0.03882 155 127 23 5
1134 Would you like to see my impression of Jeremy Irons doing his impression of Claus von Bülow doing his impression of Queen Victoria? 1.2128 0.04911 141 123 6 12
1135 It’s not every day you get to audition for the remake of A Tree Grows In Brooklyn. 1.2128 0.04480 141 119 14 8
1136 Dress for the job you want--someday I'll be branch manager. 1.2126 0.04559 127 106 15 6
1137 I'm protesting casual Friday. 1.2126 0.04276 127 104 19 4
1138 Now the huggers want to know my pronouns. 1.2126 0.04825 127 108 11 8
1139 Now, when I fall in the forest, I will be heard 1.2126 0.03973 127 102 23 2
1140 Apparently, they’re going to use me to make business cards. 1.2121 0.04306 132 109 18 5
1141 Lucky you still get to work from home. 1.2121 0.04028 132 107 22 3
1142 I do. 1.2119 0.04144 118 95 21 2
1143 They say, "Dress for the job you want..." 1.2117 0.04200 137 113 19 5
1144 It's not as cool as it looks. I'm marked for removal. 1.2117 0.04200 137 113 19 5
1145 I always wear formal on Arbor Day. 1.2117 0.04070 137 112 21 4
1146 I’d get very strange looks with a bow tie”. 1.2117 0.04326 137 114 17 6
1147 ‘So, not only do we have to go in to work 2 days a week but they reinstated the office dress code.‘ 1.2117 0.04448 137 115 15 7
1148 Do I look overdressed for the fall? 1.2117 0.04070 137 112 21 4
1149 Does it make me look too wooden? 1.2114 0.04509 123 102 16 5
1150 First time I've dressed since Covid.... 1.2114 0.04795 123 104 12 7
1151 Do I look like a sap? 1.2114 0.04041 123 99 22 2
1152 Dexterous Squirrels 1.2114 0.04654 123 103 14 6
1153 What do you mean "sold out"? I kept my natural hair. 1.2114 0.04358 123 101 18 4
1154 I always feel overdressed at these things. 1.2114 0.04041 123 99 22 2
1155 They said it was preparation for my future desk job pushing paper! 1.2113 0.04337 142 119 16 7
1156 I have an interview with a hedge fund but I’m probably just the token diversity candidate. 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
1157 Timber? Oh, I thought he said Tinder. 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
1158 What's your gender identity? 1.2109 0.04660 128 108 13 7
1159 Where do you think you’re going? 1.2109 0.04526 128 107 15 6
1160 I'm going into a formal garden. 1.2109 0.03945 128 103 23 2
1161 I picked it to match the fall colors. 1.2109 0.04526 128 107 15 6
1162 I said I don't care about rings and she ended our date! 1.2109 0.04660 128 108 13 7
1163 Why do I feel overdressed? 1.2105 0.04001 133 108 22 3
1164 How do I know if this my neck? 1.2105 0.04276 133 110 18 5
1165 Don't be so sappy...I needed to branch out. 1.2105 0.03691 152 123 26 3
1166 I always like a little splash of color this time of year.... 1.2105 0.04276 133 110 18 5
1167 Oscar Wilde said, "A well-tied tie is the first serious step in life." Now I'm working on the step part. 1.2105 0.04141 133 109 20 4
1168 I didn't want any loggers to think it might be 'Casualty Friday'. 1.2105 0.04401 114 93 18 3
1169 I never know what business casual means 1.2105 0.04408 133 111 16 6
1170 Dogs love it! 1.2105 0.04659 133 113 12 8
1171 Back to the office, Chuck. 1.2105 0.03856 133 107 24 2
1172 Just so there’s no gender confusion.” 1.2101 0.04418 138 116 15 7
1173 I couldn't find my bow tie, my trunk is a mess 1.2101 0.04536 138 117 13 8
1174 Mabel, this is Florida, it's no place to be cross-dressing! 1.2101 0.04172 138 114 19 5
1175 I'm metro-deciduous. 1.2101 0.04282 119 97 19 3
1176 i'm serious... he said it makes my ash look phat..! 1.2098 0.03951 143 117 22 4
1177 A promotion like this means that in just 350 years I could be CEO. 1.2097 0.04759 124 105 12 7
1178 Bark all you like. I'm tieing one on. 1.2097 0.04620 124 104 14 6
1179 So, are you planning anything special for the leaf-peepers? 1.2095 0.04207 148 124 17 7
1180 I wanted something with a little more pizazz than a yellow ribbon. 1.2093 0.04494 129 108 15 6
1181 Bob, it's Saturday. 1.2093 0.04216 129 106 19 4
1182 I heard somebody has to get the axe. 1.2093 0.04494 129 108 15 6
1183 There's this really cute tree-hugger.... 1.2091 0.04302 110 89 19 2
1184 I thought I'd spruce up the place 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
1185 I thought I would dress up for the pruning. 1.2090 0.04504 134 113 14 7
1186 The recruiter wasn't impressed with how I'd branched out... 1.2090 0.04377 134 112 16 6
1187 Chain-saw guy’s coming. I wanna’ look good 1.2087 0.04862 115 97 12 6
1188 How about a little underground footsie? 1.2087 0.04862 115 97 12 6
1189 I'm hoping to attract a high class of squirrels. 1.2087 0.04366 115 94 18 3
1190 I’m just not sure we can pull it off. I’m not really the hammock type. 1.2087 0.04537 115 95 16 4
1191 Well, the Middle-earth reconciliation tribunal has a dress code. 1.2087 0.04188 115 93 20 2
1192 Are you sticking with the Tree/Trees pronoun? 1.2087 0.04703 115 96 14 5
1193 I’m going to miss Work From Home. 1.2086 0.04389 139 117 15 7
1194 The tie doesn’t match my pants but so what, I don’t have legs. 1.2086 0.04268 139 116 17 6
1195 It doesn’t make me look taller? 1.2086 0.04017 139 114 21 4
1196 Managers are coming in from the branch office. 1.2086 0.04389 139 117 15 7
1197 That was not easy. 1.2083 0.04412 120 99 17 4
1198 I saw what they did to John Fetterman. 1.2083 0.04568 120 100 15 5
1199 Yup. Young Republican. How'd ya guess? 1.2083 0.04568 120 100 15 5
1200 You still working from home ? 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
1201 I find it keeps the squirrels off. 1.2080 0.04586 125 105 14 6
1202 I'm interviewing for the branch manager position at a local bank. 1.2080 0.04295 125 103 18 4
1203 Jimmy,I told you no casual Fridays. 1.2077 0.04186 130 107 19 4
1204 I've been tagged for an office job. 1.2077 0.04462 130 109 15 6
1205 I’m rebranding as a knotty Windsor 1.2075 0.04780 106 88 14 4
1206 You get casual Fridays?! 1.2074 0.03948 135 110 22 3
1207 I like to dress up before I have to stand around naked all winter.” 1.2074 0.04595 135 115 12 8
1208 when will you get out and look for work? 1.2074 0.03948 135 110 22 3
1209 Plans this weekend? 1.2074 0.04473 135 114 14 7
1210 As I grow older, it gets tighter. 1.2072 0.04071 111 89 21 1
1211 You didn’t hear about the fall formal? 1.2071 0.04360 140 118 15 7
1212 no more working at home au naturale 1.2071 0.04118 140 116 19 5
1213 Have you seen my cuff-links? 1.2069 0.04155 116 94 20 2
1214 I always get dressed up for Arbor Day. 1.2069 0.04502 116 96 16 4
1215 Personally, I’m sticking with the old Senate rules. 1.2069 0.04502 116 96 16 4
1216 Will you still love me when my leaves fall off? 1.2067 0.03934 150 124 21 5
1217 I’m telling you it’s in season! 1.2066 0.04052 121 98 21 2
1218 I have a job interview at a paper mill! 1.2066 0.04218 121 99 19 3
1219 This position will require you to be replanted. 1.2066 0.04378 121 100 17 4
1220 Corporate’s promoting me to the board! 1.2066 0.04682 121 102 13 6
1221 If we don't dress up for Arbor Day, then what do we dress up for? 1.2066 0.04533 121 101 15 5
1222 Happy Birthday darling, I hope you like your new ring! 1.2066 0.04827 121 103 11 7
1223 I manage growth stocks. You? 1.2066 0.04533 121 101 15 5
1224 I thought I'd spruce it up a bit 1.2063 0.04264 126 104 18 4
1225 I'm more of a taking tree. 1.2063 0.04689 126 107 12 7
1226 I am going tree to tree selling rakes. 1.2063 0.04552 126 106 14 6
1227 I'm hoping to become a branch manager. 1.2063 0.04689 126 107 12 7
1228 I won't feel so naked when my leaves fall off. 1.2061 0.04296 131 109 17 5
1229 I’m all dressed but this commute is going to kill me! 1.2061 0.04296 131 109 17 5
1230 I think it makes me look taller 1.2061 0.04014 131 107 21 3
1231 I have an important meeting with the board. 1.2061 0.03384 165 133 30 2
1232 I think the song said tie a yellow ribbon ‘round, not necktie! 1.2059 0.04443 136 115 14 7
1233 Call me old-fashioned. I just can't do Casual Friday." 1.2056 0.05098 107 91 10 6
1234 This is only a formalitree 1.2056 0.05098 107 91 10 6
1235 What if I told you that you CAN grow money on trees? 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
1236 I try to dress up for Fall. 1.2055 0.03754 146 119 24 3
1237 I’m seeking a position with opportunities for growth. 1.2054 0.04419 112 92 17 3
1238 At least one of us took the trouble to read the dress code. 1.2051 0.04124 117 95 20 2
1239 My last wish, if they cut me down and turn me into paper, is that the paper is used for a New Yorker magazine cover. 1.2051 0.05084 117 101 8 8
1240 Boss is making us come back to the orchard a couple days a week. 1.2051 0.04467 117 97 16 4
1241 Come Autumn, I won't be completely naked. 1.2049 0.04346 122 101 17 4
1242 I got tired of just wearing earth tones. 1.2049 0.04647 122 103 13 6
1243 Yeah it's just a clip-on, but bear in mind I'm a tree. 1.2049 0.04647 122 103 13 6
1244 Difficult to ty without limbs 1.2047 0.04519 127 107 14 6
1245 I think you looked better with the yellow ribbon 1.2047 0.04519 127 107 14 6
1246 This is my eighteth ring day. 1.2047 0.04655 127 108 12 7
1247 It’s my subtle protest against Tony Orlando. 1.2045 0.04400 132 111 15 6
1248 You came to work in your beech clothes? 1.2045 0.04530 132 112 13 7
1249 I didn’t know what an arborist was when I interviewed for the job, ok?! 1.2044 0.04162 137 114 18 5
1250 I spoke to a lawyer. I'm leaving. 1.2037 0.04511 108 89 16 3
1251 Im being interviewed this afternoon by the Bronx Botanical Gardens. 1.2035 0.04560 113 94 15 4
1252 I told you the wedding this afternoon is going to be formal. 1.2035 0.04199 113 92 19 2
1253 What!? The invitation said formal. 1.2035 0.04730 113 95 13 5
1254 Fetterman? 1.2035 0.04383 113 93 17 3
1255 I feel like a sap. 1.2035 0.04199 113 92 19 2
1256 The lumberjack suggested I tie one on. 1.2034 0.04748 118 100 12 6
1257 I thought wearing this would make me more poplar. 1.2034 0.04432 118 98 16 4
1258 Oh, forgot it was casual Friday today! 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
1259 If a tree is wearing a tie but there is no person around to see it, is the tree considered nattily dressed? 1.2033 0.04754 123 105 11 7
1260 I have a closet full - Why not !? 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
1261 Honestly,I feel like we’ve grown apart. 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1262 I have a job interview with a paper company. 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1263 If they insisted on tying a yellow ribbon I insisted on a Windsor knot. 1.2033 0.04754 123 105 11 7
1264 Seems like just yesterday I was wearing a tire swing. 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
1265 If this tie doesn't look good, I have another one in my trunk. 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
1266 Uh, yeah, I know. Any suggestions about getting it off, smart guy? 1.2031 0.04621 128 109 12 7
1267 As you can see, I'm a bit tied up 1.2031 0.04054 128 105 20 3
1268 You don’t feel naked? 1.2031 0.04054 128 105 20 3
1269 Did Sophie do your hair? 1.2031 0.04486 128 108 14 6
1270 The Arbor Day invitation said "formal attire", not "resort casual". 1.2031 0.04054 128 105 20 3
1271 Oh, forget the stripes! What do you think of my knot? 1.2031 0.04054 128 105 20 3
1272 I'll go out on a limb and ask for a date... 1.2031 0.04203 128 106 18 4
1273 No, I don't recommend it; the tie binds. 1.2030 0.04369 133 112 15 6
1274 Beats the heck out of all those sappy yellow ribbons over the years! 1.2030 0.04237 133 111 17 5
1275 I haven’t a clue why Steinberg drew you so casual. The invite clearly said black tie. 1.2030 0.04498 133 113 13 7
1276 I'm a bit concerned about the return to office mandate. 1.2030 0.04100 133 110 19 4
1277 Who would have guessed that we had faces, let alone necks. 1.2029 0.04383 138 117 14 7
1278 What? Too wide? 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
1279 Well,I just got promoted to the regional branch manager 1.2028 0.04275 143 121 15 7
1280 Taking off your tie is a good start, but you still come off as wooden. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
1281 Because I like to look good to the leaf peepers. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
1282 Good morning, I'm the tree surgeon. 1.2018 0.04280 109 89 18 2
1283 Too Loud? 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
1284 On Zoom, they can’t tell that you’re not wearing pants. 1.2018 0.04839 109 92 12 5
1285 I haven’t been able to take it off since I lost my limbs. 1.2018 0.05011 109 93 10 6
1286 They ran out of yellow ribbons in the 80s. 1.2018 0.04280 109 89 18 2
1287 I don’t care what it looks like; it’s not a belt! 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
1288 So I wear a tie every fifty years. 1.2018 0.04166 114 93 19 2
1289 I'm getting ready for the fall formal. 1.2018 0.04524 114 95 15 4
1290 I feel we've been growing apart. 1.2018 0.04349 114 94 17 3
1291 If you want to remain employed in this forest, you have to be able to branch out. 1.2018 0.04692 114 96 13 5
1292 Ok well I got the job, now how do I get this tie off? 1.2018 0.05012 114 98 9 7
1293 I finally decided to branch out into real estate. 1.2018 0.04349 114 94 17 3
1294 The only options I can think of are heavy wind, decay, or kid with scissors. 1.2018 0.04166 114 93 19 2
1295 Is that you tickling my toes? 1.2018 0.04524 114 95 15 4
1296 ‘Yeah the dress code is harsh but I get unlimited paid leaves’ 1.2018 0.04524 114 95 15 4
1297 I don’t want to go out on a limb, but I needed to spruce up my look. 1.2017 0.04061 119 97 20 2
1298 Did you forget about National Arbor Day,again? 1.2016 0.04282 124 103 17 4
1299 Business is booming and I'm trying to branch out. 1.2016 0.04282 124 103 17 4
1300 I identify as an environmental lobyist 1.2016 0.04432 124 104 15 5
1301 This is a lot cheaper than buying all those bough ties. 1.2016 0.04432 124 104 15 5
1302 When you invited me to tie one on, I had something much different in mind. 1.2016 0.04719 124 106 11 7
1303 So… you come here a lot? 1.2016 0.04432 124 104 15 5
1304 Nobody told me about Naked Tuesdays. 1.2016 0.04173 129 107 18 4
1305 You've got to tie one on if you want to live it up in my neck of the woods. 1.2016 0.04173 129 107 18 4
1306 I was goin for the bob Ross look too! 1.2016 0.03872 129 105 22 2
1307 Trust me, ChatGPT said that I should have stronger ties with my roots 1.2016 0.04316 129 108 16 5
1308 Wish me luck, it’s my first day at the paper mill 1.2015 0.04467 134 114 13 7
1309 I know a bow tie would be better, but I just can’t tie one. 1.2015 0.03932 134 110 21 3
1310 I just woke up one morning and it was here. I think it means guys can come here to find other guys to fuck or suck each other's dicks or whatever. Could be kinda cool! 1.2015 0.04829 134 117 7 10
1311 I’m trying to look younger, despite my many rings. 1.2015 0.04073 134 111 19 4
1312 Without the tie, I feel naked when I shed my leaves. 1.2014 0.03707 139 113 24 2
1313 I've graduated to old growth. 1.2014 0.04107 139 116 18 5
1314 Yeah, once you hit age 250 you really have to start acting like an adult 1.2014 0.03978 139 115 20 4
1315 My father always said "dress for success" 1.2000 0.04314 115 95 17 3
1316 The yellow ribbon lacked a certain panache 1.2000 0.04314 115 95 17 3
1317 The boss says more cuts are coming, so if wearing a tie helps me dodge that, then yeah I'm wearing a tie. 1.2000 0.04555 130 111 12 7
1318 I’m interviewing for a new grove. 1.2000 0.03762 135 110 23 2
1319 The new branch manager is a birch. 1.2000 0.04080 140 117 18 5
1320 All those yellow and pink ribbons... they just weren't me. 1.2000 0.04144 130 108 18 4
1321 Can we get to the root of the problem? 1.2000 0.04364 120 100 16 4
1322 Does this make me look too ornamental? 1.2000 0.04364 120 100 16 4
1323 I'm Leaving . . . 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
1324 Layering. For Fall, it's a must. 1.2000 0.04399 125 105 15 5
1325 My girlfriend is a knotty pine. 1.2000 0.04244 110 90 18 2
1326 Spring formal. 1.2000 0.04487 115 96 15 4
1327 Dress for the foliage you want. 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
1328 Sorry about the clip-on tie, dude, but I told you it wouldn't work. 1.2000 0.03935 125 102 21 2
1329 Too much?? 1.2000 0.04244 110 90 18 2
1330 I'm just saying my preferred pronouns are 'tree' and 'trim.' 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
1331 Aren’t humans just the worst? 1.2000 0.04819 125 108 9 8
1332 Going to the office. My boss says that the days of working from home are over. 1.2000 0.04954 105 89 11 5
1333 It makes it so they won’t see you. 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
1334 What's your pronoun ? 1.2000 0.04144 130 108 18 4
1335 I like this one because it goes with any season. 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
1336 I didn't have a yellow ribbon, so this was the best I could do last minute. 1.2000 0.05125 100 85 10 5
1337 What? I had a job interview. 1.2000 0.04798 110 93 12 5
1338 The sap bucket look is over. 1.2000 0.04201 120 99 18 3
1339 Besides the afro, ties are coming back 1.2000 0.03952 140 116 20 4
1340 I heard they said something about looking clean-cut… 1.2000 0.04314 115 95 17 3
1341 With all of these firings, I can’t leave anything to chance 1.2000 0.04144 130 108 18 4
1342 The tree inspector is coming tomorrow! 1.2000 0.04522 120 101 14 5
1343 What do you mean, "The fashion bug is an invasive species."? 1.2000 0.04674 120 102 12 6
1344 Excuse me, there is a dress code in the forest. What do you think this is, the Senate? 1.2000 0.04364 120 100 16 4
1345 Dude, it doesn’t match your foliage. 1.2000 0.03945 115 93 21 1
1346 You look nothing like your tinder profile 1.2000 0.04822 120 103 10 7
1347 The interview was via Zoom, so it's okay that I wasn't wearing pants. 1.2000 0.04621 110 92 14 4
1348 i’m telling you, Frank, you’ve got to dress for the job you want, not the job you have! 1.2000 0.04559 135 116 11 8
1349 You don’t understand Bob, I never wanted to be tied down 1.2000 0.03945 115 93 21 1
1350 Dressing up makes me feel more productive when working from home 1.2000 0.04201 120 99 18 3
1351 Fall's the most photogenic season of them all 1.2000 0.04250 125 104 17 4
1352 How do i look for my first day at the Sawmill? 1.2000 0.04364 105 86 17 2
1353 We don’t do casual Friday here 1.2000 0.04822 120 103 10 7
1354 I'm here to interview for the paper company job. 1.1985 0.03970 131 108 20 3
1355 Don’t look at me like that. You know I’ve always wanted to live in Central Park 1.1985 0.03970 131 108 20 3
1356 I'm trying to branch out sartorially, but this tie has me barking. 1.1984 0.04219 126 105 17 4
1357 I really have to dress for the job. I can’t go out on a limb. 1.1984 0.04066 126 104 19 3
1358 I will leave soon, I just got a promotion. 1.1984 0.04367 126 106 15 5
1359 How am I barking up the wrong tree? 1.1984 0.04066 126 104 19 3
1360 Yeah, I know it’s not my color. I welcome suggestions on how I’m supposed to change it. 1.1983 0.04331 121 101 16 4
1361 As your lawyer, I advise you not to display the contents of your trunk 1.1983 0.04487 121 102 14 5
1362 Those frat boys passed by here bragging that they tied one on last night. 1.1983 0.04169 121 100 18 3
1363 I woke up one morning and this thing was on me! 1.1983 0.03825 121 98 22 1
1364 The matching suspenders kept falling down. 1.1983 0.04169 121 100 18 3
1365 We have a new branch director with a strict dress code. 1.1983 0.04331 121 101 16 4
1366 Don’t judge. I have a date 1.1983 0.03825 121 98 22 1
1367 You're so lucky you still get to work from home. 1.1983 0.04617 116 98 13 5
1368 If you think this is easy, try it. 1.1983 0.04617 116 98 13 5
1369 Tell me about yourself? 1.1983 0.04101 116 95 19 2
1370 I joined the hedge fund. 1.1983 0.04280 116 96 17 3
1371 You should see my socks! 1.1983 0.04777 116 99 11 6
1372 Yeah, I'm also thinking of trimming back the afro. 1.1983 0.04452 116 97 15 4
1373 Can you tell it's a clip on? 1.1983 0.04452 116 97 15 4
1374 This IS casual for me 1.1983 0.04452 116 97 15 4
1375 I just hope it rots and falls off before it goes out of style. 1.1982 0.04582 111 93 14 4
1376 Obviously Chet, it’s a clip-on. I can only wear clip-ons, Chet. 1.1981 0.04724 106 89 13 4
1377 You’re also here to audition for the Bob Ross biopic, right? 1.1981 0.04530 106 88 15 3
1378 I'm lobbying humans to adopt two-sided printing. 1.1980 0.04879 101 85 12 4
1379 How about we mingle roots 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
1380 I didn't want to look like I'm going to seed... 1.1971 0.04376 137 117 13 7
1381 Your shoe's untied. 1.1970 0.04360 132 112 14 6
1382 I‘m trying to spruce it up a little. 1.1970 0.04087 132 110 18 4
1383 We’ll, wish me luck on my first day at the paper factory. 1.1970 0.04226 132 111 16 5
1384 I don't look stiff! 1.1967 0.04603 122 104 12 6
1385 Hey, want to leave with me? 1.1967 0.04138 122 101 18 3
1386 I’m really dreading having to go back to the office. 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
1387 I think it means I'm being cut but some ceremony is involved. 1.1966 0.04417 117 98 15 4
1388 OH , I thought we were going to a TIE restaurant………. 1.1966 0.04417 117 98 15 4
1389 ``Ask yourself: Who are they going to cut down first? The guy with the tree-shirt or the guy with the necktie?' 1.1966 0.04247 117 97 17 3
1390 I was attracted to their corporate tree structure 1.1966 0.04581 117 99 13 5
1391 I believe in 'dress for success'. Does this make me look fat? 1.1964 0.04176 112 92 18 2
1392 And when they offered me a contract… IT WAS ON PAPER! 1.1964 0.04176 112 92 18 2
1393 They've gone paperless at work, which is a good thing, given all the deaths. 1.1964 0.04718 112 95 12 5
1394 Would you care to dance? 1.1964 0.03979 112 91 20 1
1395 I didn’t get the job, it required a lot of travel. 1.1964 0.04364 112 93 16 3
1396 They have no idea how awkward social distancing really is. 1.1964 0.04545 112 94 14 4
1397 I was told it would make me look less wooden. 1.1964 0.04364 112 93 16 3
1398 I wear my tie even at virtual meetings, but sometimes my roots remain unclothed. 1.1963 0.04868 107 91 11 5
1399 We audition tomorrow for those cameo roles in "Oppenheimer." 1.1963 0.04868 107 91 11 5
1400 It's my first trunk show . 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
1401 It's my branch's dress code. 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
1402 What a day I had dear , I had to work my ash off . 1.1953 0.04581 128 110 11 7
1403 I thought I'd spruce up. 1.1951 0.04568 123 105 12 6
1404 Dress for success, Myrtle, or you'll stay where you're planted. 1.1951 0.04420 123 104 14 5
1405 It keeps the teenagers away, but not the dogs. 1.1949 0.04214 118 98 17 3
1406 The yellow ribbon was looking a bit dated. 1.1949 0.04214 118 98 17 3
1407 Of course it's a clip-on. I don't have hands! 1.1949 0.04383 118 99 15 4
1408 When you have a photosynthesis meeting at 3 but a board meeting at 4. 1.1949 0.04545 118 100 13 5
1409 You just noticed. 1.1949 0.04383 118 99 15 4
1410 I have a interview with the big acorn itself. 1.1949 0.03855 118 96 21 1
1411 Sprouting through a shallow grave was rough in the beginning, but worth the trouble in the end 1.1949 0.04702 118 101 11 6
1412 I was able to just wear a yellow ribbon before I had to report back to the office. 1.1947 0.04508 113 95 14 4
1413 It makes me stand a little taller. 1.1947 0.04680 113 96 12 5
1414 I have to go cheer up a weeping willow. 1.1947 0.04329 113 94 16 3
1415 Oh, it's Casual Friday? My bad. 1.1947 0.04329 113 94 16 3
1416 I call this look ‘the paper pusher 1.1947 0.04846 113 97 10 6
1417 I guess I’m just tired of looking like a little beech. 1.1947 0.04680 113 96 12 5
1418 Dress for the weather you want, not the weather you have. 1.1947 0.04329 113 94 16 3
1419 I will be transplanted to a formal garden. 1.1944 0.04453 108 90 15 3
1420 I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty. 1.1944 0.04453 108 90 15 3
1421 No idea. Dude came up, hugged me and left his tie. Said he's moving on. 1.1944 0.04643 108 91 13 4
1422 They keep changing the dress code just like the Senate. 1.1944 0.04254 108 89 17 2
1423 It’s a half-Windsor 1.1944 0.04453 108 90 15 3
1424 I'm excited about my new job at the pulp plant! 1.1942 0.03939 139 116 19 4
1425 You going somewhere? 1.1942 0.04791 103 87 12 4
1426 SAP! It’s just sap! 1.1942 0.04376 103 85 16 2
1427 I know you feel rooted but you need to go out and live a little 1.1942 0.04588 103 86 14 3
1428 "...and then that crazy squirrel buried my cuff links!" 1.1940 0.04429 134 115 12 7
1429 I stood my ground. I’m more productive working remotely. 1.1940 0.04429 134 115 12 7
1430 Take climate change meetings seriously, Dave. 1.1940 0.03889 134 111 20 3
1431 Trust me, I've represented many shady figures. 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
1432 I just don't believe in casual Fridays. 1.1938 0.04273 129 109 15 5
1433 It's the time of year to look our best. 1.1938 0.04413 129 110 13 6
1434 They’re not letting me work from the forest anymore! 1.1938 0.04129 129 108 17 4
1435 I'm fed up with looking au naturel ... 1.1935 0.04077 124 103 18 3
1436 They'll be here soon with the crane, it's back to the office! 1.1935 0.04534 124 106 12 6
1437 Hey, bro, does my afro look better if I wear a tie? 1.1935 0.04077 124 103 18 3
1438 When they told me I was going to be part of the making of a business paper I had something else in mind. 1.1935 0.03913 124 102 20 2
1439 and then I finally found a no-handed tutorial. 1.1935 0.04534 124 106 12 6
1440 Why not be different, and go with a bough tie. 1.1933 0.04182 119 99 17 3
1441 I know.” “You don’t think we have anything in common. 1.1933 0.04008 119 98 19 2
1442 By the way, I've decided to change my name from Laurel to Leif 1.1933 0.04182 119 99 17 3
1443 This'll help the people tell us apart easier. 1.1933 0.04182 119 99 17 3
1444 This tie somehow makes me feel more naked. 1.1933 0.04509 119 101 13 5
1445 Well I'm sorry, Pam, but the yellow ribbon just wasn't doing it for me anymore. 1.1933 0.04182 119 99 17 3
1446 I was going for lumbersexual but the tie makes me feel so…wooden. 1.1931 0.04070 145 123 16 6
1447 You forgot arbor day again? 1.1930 0.04642 114 97 12 5
1448 I normally don’t dress up, but I’m trying to branch out. 1.1930 0.04109 114 94 18 2
1449 I like to spruce up a bit. 1.1930 0.04294 114 95 16 3
1450 Senate rules. 1.1930 0.04471 114 96 14 4
1451 I don't care what Chuck Schumer says. 1.1930 0.04294 114 95 16 3
1452 It's a hint she wants us to tie the knot. 1.1930 0.04642 114 97 12 5
1453 My job is being replaced by an artificial tree. 1.1929 0.03913 140 117 19 4
1454 I haven't wore one since before the pandemic... 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
1455 I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn. 1.1927 0.04959 109 94 9 6
1456 I have an interview with the gardener later today, though for what I'm not sure. 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
1457 My DNA results just came in. I'm 80% acorn,20% Wall Street. 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
1458 I'm a carbon offset for a bank 1.1927 0.05128 109 95 7 7
1459 Yeah I have to get on a zoom call this morning 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
1460 I've applied to be in the formal garden. 1.1923 0.03798 130 107 21 2
1461 No one told me they changed the dress code. 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
1462 They're making me into a New Yorker magazine. 1.1923 0.04381 130 111 13 6
1463 So Bob, be honest. Does every day really feel like Saturday now that you're retired? 1.1923 0.04749 104 88 12 4
1464 It makes me feel less naked after my leaves fall. 1.1923 0.04338 104 86 16 2
1465 I was told it was smart casual. 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
1466 I told my Timber blind date that I'd be wearing a striped tie. 1.1920 0.04047 125 104 18 3
1467 Hi honey, I'm home. 1.1920 0.04047 125 104 18 3
1468 I’m auditioning for Mad Men 1.1920 0.04355 125 106 14 5
1469 You said it was business casual! 1.1920 0.04204 125 105 16 4
1470 Hey, you gotta look the part! They never cut management. 1.1920 0.04355 125 106 14 5
1471 I’ve got an interview at the paper factory. 1.1920 0.04641 125 108 10 7
1472 Have some respect for the position you hold, Fetterman. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
1473 Last night I dreamed I was a talking tree wearing a necktie. 1.1919 0.05112 99 85 9 5
1474 You should get dressed, their taking us out this afternoon. 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1475 I'm trying to branch out into fashion. 1.1917 0.04628 120 103 11 6
1476 Do you know how to get sap out of a tie? 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1477 If you don’t mind my asking, which pronouns do you prefer? 1.1917 0.03977 120 99 19 2
1478 I just figured I should spruce up my image this fall. 1.1917 0.04777 120 104 9 7
1479 Who knew Tony Orlando still owns the rights to yellow ribbons? 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1480 My bark is worse than my blight. 1.1917 0.04315 120 101 15 4
1481 Sap is all over my knot! 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1482 I guess they ran out of yellow ribbons 1.1917 0.04475 120 102 13 5
1483 The tourists seem to like my bright color choices this time of year. 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
1484 Get this fucking thing off me.” 1.1913 0.04604 115 98 12 5
1485 I think it’s a little classier than a yellow ribbon. 1.1913 0.04435 115 97 14 4
1486 It's the new fall look. 1.1913 0.04077 115 95 18 2
1487 I forgot it was Friday, OK? 1.1913 0.04435 115 97 14 4
1488 Okay, I'll admit it, this tie has me stumped too. 1.1913 0.04435 115 97 14 4
1489 I would like to discuss your key performance indicators for the next quarter. 1.1909 0.03980 110 90 19 1
1490 I’ve never been to a clear cutting. Is it a formal occasion? 1.1909 0.04565 110 93 13 4
1491 I suppose you're wondering how I even got this on? 1.1909 0.04565 110 93 13 4
1492 People are reluctant to cut down the dapper. 1.1908 0.03924 131 109 19 3
1493 When the interviewer asks, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” what should I say? 1.1908 0.04483 131 113 11 7
1494 Every once in awhile I like to get wild and tie one on. 1.1905 0.04897 105 90 10 5
1495 Well, when you’re working in finance, and rockin’ an Afro, you’ve got to offset it with something. 1.1905 0.04323 126 107 14 5
1496 Get help! I'm tied up. 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
1497 The sun likes ME the most! 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
1498 You didn't tell me the event was deciduous casual. 1.1905 0.04607 126 109 10 7
1499 Yeah, well, you know, my bank just closed today. Guess I’ll have to open up my own branch… 1.1905 0.04323 126 107 14 5
1500 Oh, I forgot it was casual Friday… 1.1901 0.03862 142 119 19 4
1501 It’s like my daddy always said, “ if you don’t wanna be plywood, you better wear a tie good” 1.1901 0.04282 121 102 15 4
1502 The job sounded pretty good on paper. 1.1901 0.04118 121 101 17 3
1503 You’re right, the belt was a bit much 1.1901 0.04118 121 101 17 3
1504 I’m looking professional so the developers can’t axe me 1.1898 0.04083 137 116 16 5
1505 My squirrel hooked up last night. 1.1897 0.04226 116 97 16 3
1506 Make like a human and stay exactly where you are, miserable and indignant. 1.1897 0.04567 116 99 12 5
1507 Yes Frank, I know we're deciduous but I wanted to spruce up a bit. 1.1897 0.04226 116 97 16 3
1508 Tying it isn't that hard. 1.1897 0.04567 116 99 12 5
1509 I can see in your eyes that you are rooting for me 1.1894 0.03897 132 110 19 3
1510 The pay is great, but the commute is killing me. 1.1894 0.04043 132 111 17 4
1511 You don't see them coming to cut me, do you? 1.1892 0.04527 111 94 13 4
1512 Ready for the funeral. 1.1892 0.04527 111 94 13 4
1513 It took me 25 years to grow into this and now you’re telling me they’re going out of fashion? 1.1892 0.05041 111 97 7 7
1514 Don’t you think fall should be dressier? 1.1892 0.04343 111 93 15 3
1515 In searching for my roots I learned I’m 80% deciduous. 1.1892 0.04150 111 92 17 2
1516 At least one of us is going places. 1.1890 0.04434 127 109 12 6
1517 I can’t take it off, ever since my branches got pruned… 1.1890 0.04291 127 108 14 5
1518 Vertical stripes make me look trunky. 1.1890 0.04434 127 109 12 6
1519 I thought she’d be impressed, but she said she said she’s looking for someone more down to earth. 1.1890 0.04143 127 107 16 4
1520 Meeting in the Coniference Room. 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
1521 Okay, I'm ready to leave. 1.1887 0.04047 106 87 18 1
1522 What are you wearing? 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
1523 No, it's not a fashion statement; someone's boyfriend is getting out of prison and they ran out of yellow ribbons. 1.1887 0.04665 106 90 12 4
1524 I have an interview this afternoon, to join the forest. 1.1885 0.03556 122 99 23 0
1525 Preppy vandalism is the worst… 1.1885 0.04250 122 103 15 4
1526 How to get this tie on straight has me stumped. 1.1885 0.04250 122 103 15 4
1527 My therapist says it's normal to feel tied down 1.1885 0.04250 122 103 15 4
1528 When I leaf, I dress to impress. 1.1884 0.03923 138 116 18 4
1529 I really tied one on last night! 1.1881 0.04154 101 83 17 1
1530 I needed something to draw attention from my receding tree line! 1.1881 0.04154 101 83 17 1
1531 I thought it was Arbor Day! 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
1532 Be honest, do these colors match my foliage? 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
1533 Boss says that if I want to be branch manager, I have to dress the part” 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
1534 You’re taller than you look on Zoom 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
1535 Let's see AI try to replace ME! 1.1880 0.04365 117 99 14 4
1536 It's a zoom interview -- I'll wear the suit if I have one in person. 1.1880 0.04193 117 98 16 3
1537 I hope this tie distracts people from my hair falling. 1.1880 0.04014 117 97 18 2
1538 Your dressing down won't save you. 1.1880 0.04193 117 98 16 3
1539 Look! I'm a CEOak! 1.1880 0.04531 117 100 12 5
1540 Hey Holly! Who's got a 'neck made for pencils' now? 1.1880 0.04154 133 113 15 5
1541 I think my boss doesn't understand how uprooted I'll feel having to return to the office.... 1.1880 0.04015 133 112 17 4
1542 After my leaves fall, I'll be less naked. 1.1875 0.04981 96 82 10 4
1543 It's the new dress code for branch managers. 1.1875 0.04260 128 109 14 5
1544 Sure, I'm overdressed now, but wait till fall comes. 1.1875 0.04756 96 81 12 3
1545 Sorry, you are going to become the corparate ladder. 1.1875 0.04756 96 81 12 3
1546 I have no idea how I got this on 1.1875 0.04490 112 95 13 4
1547 I'll take the soup. 1.1875 0.03705 112 91 21 0
1548 I am business tree. 1.1875 0.04116 112 93 17 2
1549 My story is banned in Florida 1.1875 0.04307 112 94 15 3
1550 …and with my third wish I said “I wish I was a tree” but I guess you did the same thing. 1.1875 0.04490 112 95 13 4
1551 Step up your game, buddy. Otherwise you’re gonna be one of the ones they cut next round. Remember Lester? He’s a fence now. 1.1875 0.04402 128 110 12 6
1552 If they continue this new drees code, I am re-rooting to another state. 1.1875 0.04490 112 95 13 4
1553 I am making up for the fact that 23 and Me said I was 10% crabgrass. 1.1875 0.04756 96 81 12 3
1554 It's not a yellow ribbon, and I'm not an old oak tree. What's going on? 1.1875 0.04981 96 82 10 4
1555 I have a very exciting and exclusive opportunity to share with you 1.1875 0.05403 96 84 6 6
1556 Oh the tie? You like it.. couldn't get the rest of the suit. Shrinkflation, the struggle is real. 1.1871 0.03620 139 115 22 2
1557 I thought I'd spruce myself up and branch out. 1.1871 0.03761 139 116 20 3
1558 I want the room tonight 1.1870 0.03889 123 102 19 2
1559 I’m the new branch manager - if you could just go ahead and get those report logs to me, that’d be great. 1.1870 0.04523 123 106 11 6
1560 I identify as a male pre-lumber. Just how fluid are you? 1.1870 0.04218 123 104 15 4
1561 I'm interviewing for the "Save the Planet" job. 1.1870 0.04057 123 103 17 3
1562 No? Well then stop playing rootsy with me. 1.1870 0.04057 123 103 17 3
1563 I’m off to meet with the squirrels’ lawyer. 1.1870 0.04057 123 103 17 3
1564 They're coming back with my Tree-piece suit" 1.1869 0.04812 107 92 10 5
1565 Well now I feel like I’ll be the only one in a tie. 1.1869 0.04812 107 92 10 5
1566 It helps with branch management. 1.1869 0.04812 107 92 10 5
1567 The tying IS tricky, but it can be done! 1.1869 0.04227 107 89 16 2
1568 The boss said, show up for work or get cut. 1.1869 0.04625 107 91 12 4
1569 I'm done with remote work 1.1869 0.04430 107 90 14 3
1570 They won't let you into the forest without one. 1.1866 0.03844 134 112 19 3
1571 I think we should branch out more for better diversity 1.1866 0.03844 134 112 19 3
1572 I don't care if it's casual Friday...I always wear a tie. 1.1866 0.04126 134 114 15 5
1573 Tony Orlando ran out of ribbons. 1.1866 0.04126 134 114 15 5
1574 When the tree's a rockin', don't come a-knockin'.... 1.1864 0.04331 118 100 14 4
1575 I think it makes my neck look more proportionate.. 1.1864 0.04495 118 101 12 5
1576 Toxic masculinity isn’t real. 1.1864 0.04654 118 102 10 6
1577 I'm from a different branch of the family 1.1864 0.04331 118 100 14 4
1578 Didn’t you get the memo? 1.1864 0.03796 118 97 20 1
1579 I support the Congressional Dress Code. 1.1864 0.04331 118 100 14 4
1580 I can't help thinking I'm slightly overdressed. 1.1864 0.04161 118 99 16 3
1581 I do feel a little naked but at least we have our trunks on. 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
1582 I look good AND dogs won’t pee on me. 1.1863 0.04117 102 84 17 1
1583 Don't ask! 1.1863 0.03874 102 83 19 0
1584 You could say it’s a look I’ve grown into. 1.1863 0.04346 102 85 15 2
1585 It's the new Fetterman dress code - pants optional. 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
1586 Well, I don’t want to be a Branch Manager forever. 1.1863 0.04117 102 84 17 1
1587 They've started to require me to return to the branch office." 1.1863 0.04346 102 85 15 2
1588 Yea, I have a date with that Oak tree tonight 1.1860 0.04084 129 109 16 4
1589 Johnson, I don’t know what to say. You’ve been late three times this week and you don’t even have legs. 1.1860 0.04229 129 110 14 5
1590 I've got a Zoom interview. 1.1858 0.04627 113 97 11 5
1591 Just 1 problem. Is the reunion coming to me? Or am I going? 1.1858 0.04272 113 95 15 3
1592 It was either the tie or having a heart etched on my bark. 1.1858 0.04453 113 96 13 4
1593 I woke up like this. 1.1858 0.04627 113 97 11 5
1594 Everyone knows you wear the pants in our relationship. 1.1858 0.04083 113 94 17 2
1595 Bough you look so good, think I've got wood 1.1858 0.04453 113 96 13 4
1596 I can’t decide if I should wear it here or down by my roots. 1.1858 0.04272 113 95 15 3
1597 The branch manager is hinting at cutbacks 1.1857 0.04129 140 120 14 6
1598 Just experimenting with new fall color combinations. Opinion? 1.1855 0.04340 124 106 13 5
1599 I know I'm an oak, but I wanted to Spruce it up. 1.1855 0.04489 124 107 11 6
1600 I worry that next I'll be made into a Coat Tree! 1.1855 0.04027 124 104 17 3
1601 The new HOA dress code counts as landscaping. 1.1855 0.04633 124 108 9 7
1602 I just found it at the bottom of my trunk. 1.1855 0.04340 124 106 13 5
1603 …so how do you identify? 1.1855 0.04489 124 107 11 6
1604 I’m taking this off right after the ceremony. 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
1605 They want a formal garden. 1.1852 0.04585 108 92 12 4
1606 It’s made from Bamboo. 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
1607 Hey man, you play the game right and you too could be promoted to Branch Manager 1.1852 0.04191 108 90 16 2
1608 No. I won’t tell you the secret of how to tie a tie. 1.1852 0.04585 108 92 12 4
1609 I'm not one to throw shade, but how can you go naked in a public park? 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
1610 On Zoom, no one knows I’m not back in the office. 1.1852 0.04191 108 90 16 2
1611 It's my interview tie. 1.1852 0.04585 108 92 12 4
1612 If a tree falls in the forest yeah yeah yeah, they’re never gonna believe this one. 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
1613 It’s not what it seems 1.1852 0.04585 108 92 12 4
1614 They say dress for the job you want; I’m hoping for “executive’s desk” 1.1852 0.04191 108 90 16 2
1615 Got a date with a smoking’ hot quaking aspen tonight. 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1616 I figured this might confuse the loggers. 1.1849 0.04460 119 102 12 5
1617 I liked the Bill Blass, but the vertical stripes made me look too skinny! 1.1849 0.04460 119 102 12 5
1618 Somehow I’m dubious about my nomination to the board of directors. 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1619 I didn't know it was formal.! 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1620 I have an interview at a branch office…I leave next fall. 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1621 I’m sorry to head off so early, but I’ve told you a thousand times, son: Money doesn’t grow on us. 1.1849 0.04297 119 101 14 4
1622 And then she cancelled the wedding saying that I stand here all day doing nothing. 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1623 I see you’re all dressed up, yes, but you never end up going anywhere. 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1624 It's this new thing called anthropomorphizing. Believe me, when those hipsters in the flannel come back you'll thank me for telling you. 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
1625 Just cause the Senates gone casual doesn't mean I will. 1.1845 0.04729 103 88 11 4
1626 If a tree wears a tie in the forest, but no one sees it, does it exist? 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
1627 I'm thinking pants could be a bridge too far. 1.1845 0.03840 103 84 19 0
1628 All dressed up. Nowhere we can go! 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
1629 Do you know how to untie the tie, except growing in diameter? 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
1630 Oh. I thought it was a formal garden. 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
1631 I hate having to dress up in colors for fall. 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
1632 Bald? Whatta ya mean I will go bald 1.1844 0.04223 141 122 12 7
1633 We never go out anymore. 1.1842 0.04589 114 98 11 5
1634 I decided to swap out the yellow ribbon. I'm showing support of Wall Street expanding the carbon offset markets. 1.1842 0.04417 114 97 13 4
1635 I'm just so tired of feeling naked every fall. 1.1842 0.04589 114 98 11 5
1636 Oh, I forgot it’s casual Friday! 1.1842 0.04238 114 96 15 3
1637 I've made a killing in the paper business 1.1842 0.04417 114 97 13 4
1638 Get dressed, man.! The Woodpeckers will be here any minute. 1.1842 0.04589 114 98 11 5
1639 I see that you are nonbinary. 1.1842 0.04050 114 95 17 2
1640 I'd like to talk to you about Treesus. 1.1842 0.04589 114 98 11 5
1641 I’m hoping to open my own new branch 1.1842 0.04238 114 96 15 3
1642 Tree's company. 1.1842 0.04238 114 96 15 3
1643 this way they'll see I'm one of the good ones 1.1842 0.04589 114 98 11 5
1644 after Oppenheimer came out nobody wants to visit us anymore 1.1842 0.04238 114 96 15 3
1645 Oh! I have always liked knotted pine. 1.1840 0.04455 125 108 11 6
1646 I was told to prepare for a promotion... paneling role at the corporate offices. 1.1840 0.04156 125 106 15 4
1647 I'm going bald in a few weeks. I had to dress it up somehow 1.1840 0.04308 125 107 13 5
1648 It’s not suiting up for the three days in the office- it’s the commute that’s killing me. 1.1840 0.04156 125 106 15 4
1649 You dress for the job you want, Alan! 1.1838 0.03792 136 114 19 3
1650 Laura, do you realize our ideas and hairstyles match perfectly? 1.1835 0.04546 109 93 12 4
1651 I have a job interview at the lumber yard. Cross your twigs for me. 1.1835 0.04156 109 91 16 2
1652 I’ve decided to gender specific. 1.1835 0.04156 109 91 16 2
1653 This year is going to be different, Terry. I'm turning over a new leaf. 1.1835 0.04355 109 92 14 3
1654 If a tree wears a tie in the forest does it make a fashion statement? 1.1835 0.04546 109 93 12 4
1655 As an American Oak, my concern is with people not seeing the trees for the forest. 1.1835 0.04546 109 93 12 4
1656 I've noticed a ninety percent increase in the chance of a hug by wearing Upstate U's school colors! 1.1835 0.04156 109 91 16 2
1657 Hey good looking! How many rings are you ? 1.1833 0.04264 120 102 14 4
1658 It was unbelievably difficult to tie 1.1833 0.04097 120 101 16 3
1659 There's a couple fooling around in the canopy. 1.1833 0.04877 120 106 6 8
1660 This tie doesn’t match my Afro. 1.1832 0.04169 131 112 14 5
1661 I can charge the squirrels double the rent. 1.1832 0.03562 131 108 22 1
1662 I am thinking of joining the corporate jungle 1.1832 0.04308 131 113 12 6
1663 They take adopt-a-tree very seriously. 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
1664 I’m considering branching out. 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
1665 You might be a tree now but you will dialogue 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
1666 Do you want to meet up underground? 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
1667 Why yes. I do have an interview today, how did you know? 1.1827 0.04687 104 89 11 4
1668 Ever since they took away the hammock – I've been fit to be tied! 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
1669 Why shouldn't I dress up a little? The leaf peepers will be here any minute to see us in our finery! 1.1827 0.04687 104 89 11 4
1670 Dressed to Mill! 1.1827 0.04045 104 86 17 1
1671 „They need a reason to choose one of us for a selfie!“ 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
1672 Shall we tie the knot? 1.1827 0.04270 104 87 15 2
1673 I don’t know what it is, but some guy put it on me and now he’s over there drawing us. 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
1674 I see you dressed up for Fall. 1.1826 0.04381 115 98 13 4
1675 I wish the 'National Geographic' photographers would get here already. My tie is too tight. 1.1826 0.04381 115 98 13 4
1676 I thought the ascot was too pretentious. 1.1826 0.04204 115 97 15 3
1677 I can’t quite get comfortable with this new casual attire trend. 1.1826 0.04381 115 98 13 4
1678 Autoerotic saphyxiation. 1.1826 0.04552 115 99 11 5
1679 First of fall I’m a Libra 1.1826 0.04204 115 97 15 3
1680 247 years old and I still need a clip on. 1.1825 0.03968 126 106 17 3
1681 Ash-Leigh, please don't leaf me, I love you!" 1.1825 0.04276 126 108 13 5
1682 It's better than carved initials. 1.1825 0.03805 126 105 19 2
1683 How did I get placed on the scavenger hunt map again and not you?! 1.1825 0.03968 126 106 17 3
1684 I felt like dressing up today. 1.1825 0.04125 126 107 15 4
1685 And still their eyes go straight to the hair. 1.1825 0.03634 126 104 21 1
1686 Yes, I am old growth. Does it show? 1.1818 0.04121 110 92 16 2
1687 My roots may be showing but at least I read the dress code. 1.1818 0.04319 110 93 14 3
1688 Stop touching me with your root! 1.1818 0.04689 110 95 10 5
1689 I’m not an oak and it’s not a yellow ribbon. Help me, for the love of god. 1.1818 0.04840 99 85 10 4
1690 With extinction threatening us, this is no time for business casual. 1.1818 0.04508 110 94 12 4
1691 Look, we’re not redwoods or sequoias, maybe this will help us oaks to become a National Park! 1.1818 0.04121 110 92 16 2
1692 I can’t just stand here all day swaying in the breeze… I have to go to work…You knew when we got married that money doesn’t grow on me. 1.1818 0.04840 99 85 10 4
1693 Do stripes make me look fat? 1.1818 0.04066 121 102 16 3
1694 Does it make me look like my neck is thick? 1.1818 0.04319 110 93 14 3
1695 I don't want to be totally naked when all my leaves fall. 1.1818 0.04508 110 94 12 4
1696 All dressed up but no place to grow. 1.1818 0.04508 110 94 12 4
1697 I’m celebrating It’s Arbor Day! 1.1818 0.03892 121 101 18 2
1698 I'm WFH now, but I have no way to get it off. 1.1818 0.04840 99 85 10 4
1699 Do you think I might be overdressed? 1.1818 0.05048 99 86 8 5
1700 May be this way would respect nature more. 1.1818 0.03850 132 111 18 3
1701 What? THE David Attenborough is filming today. I wanted to look my best! 1.1818 0.04066 121 102 16 3
1702 Is it not the climate for a change? 1.1818 0.04391 121 104 12 5
1703 But this is the Four Seasons, and you’re not suited for winter. 1.1818 0.04393 99 83 14 2
1704 Does my trunk look big in this? 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
1705 I'm hoping now that I'm corporate they'll stop hugging me 1.1811 0.04245 127 109 13 5
1706 It's for Harry's funeral. He was cut down yesterday. 1.1810 0.04346 116 99 13 4
1707 I think our roots are finally touching 1.1810 0.03986 116 97 17 2
1708 Fake it til you make it, that’s my motto 1.1810 0.03986 116 97 17 2
1709 Thought this tie would stop the damn dog from peeing all over me 1.1810 0.04346 116 99 13 4
1710 I wanted to 'spruce' up my appearance. 1.1810 0.04346 116 99 13 4
1711 Come summer look for me on the deck of a yacht in Monte Carlo! 1.1810 0.04232 105 88 15 2
1712 I’m actually getting ready for your funeral. 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
1713 Scoff if you will, but I can't tell you how much time I save using a clip-on. 1.1810 0.04232 105 88 15 2
1714 I'd love to tie the knot with you. 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
1715 Well, your branches look like a creepy hand, too. 1.1810 0.04838 105 91 9 5
1716 I feel like I'm overdressed. 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
1717 It’s the tie that binds us 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
1718 I'm dressing for the forest I want, not the forest I have. 1.1810 0.04645 105 90 11 4
1719 I’m going as a Spruce Tree this Halloween. 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
1720 They promoted me to an Oak! 1.1810 0.03775 105 86 19 0
1721 I decided drop the yellow ribbon and go with the tie. 1.1810 0.04010 105 87 17 1
1722 It can't always be about seeing the forest you know. 1.1809 0.05231 94 82 7 5
1723 I just lost my job due to cutbacks" 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
1724 I always dress up for Arbor Day! 1.1805 0.03824 133 112 18 3
1725 Dog's wear sweaters these days Brian, get with the times 1.1803 0.04511 122 106 10 6
1726 I'm not sure my necktie goes with my afro. 1.1803 0.04358 122 105 12 5
1727 I'm the forest manager. 1.1802 0.04470 111 95 12 4
1728 When did you start working remotely? 1.1802 0.04087 111 93 16 2
1729 I'm dressing for the job I want. 1.1802 0.04087 111 93 16 2
1730 If you don't like my tie, I'll be leafing. 1.1802 0.04470 111 95 12 4
1731 The tie’s because I have an appointment with my tree surgeon later today. 1.1802 0.04283 111 94 14 3
1732 Casual Fridays aren't that important to me. 1.1802 0.04087 111 93 16 2
1733 I only want to be hugged by environmentalists who've passed the bar exam. 1.1802 0.04087 111 93 16 2
1734 Hey babe, nice trunk! 1.1802 0.04283 111 94 14 3
1735 They want be me back in the office. 1.1802 0.04087 111 93 16 2
1736 Silly me, I forgot it was Friday. 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
1737 I have a human. 1.1800 0.04795 100 86 10 4
1738 I HAVE to! I'm on the board. 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
1739 I couldn't get it off. 1.1800 0.04579 100 85 12 3
1740 ….but the jacket just didn’t look right. 1.1800 0.04795 100 86 10 4
1741 It’s wildfire season, so I’m expecting a hot date. 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
1742 You need to get ready, we'll be late again. 1.1797 0.03751 128 107 19 2
1743 Dress for the job you want, not the one you have, right? 1.1797 0.03911 128 108 17 3
1744 Wait 'til you see the cummerbund that goes with it. 1.1795 0.03955 117 98 17 2
1745 They say you should dress for the forest you want, not the forest you have. 1.1795 0.04641 117 102 9 6
1746 how’s my hair? Gonna be hard to do much about it until the fall though. 1.1795 0.04137 117 99 15 3
1747 No, it's a half-Windsor knot. The full Windsor accentuates my girth. 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1748 At least it’s an ethos. 1.1792 0.04196 106 89 15 2
1749 I have to return to the office,even though I put down roots here at home. 1.1792 0.04196 106 89 15 2
1750 I look snazzy and it keeps the hammocks off 1.1792 0.04196 106 89 15 2
1751 I'm teaching the dogs to "aim high!" 1.1792 0.04795 106 92 9 5
1752 I'm going to my branch's tenth anniversary. 1.1792 0.04604 106 91 11 4
1753 Should I wear this tie for my interview?" "I wood 1.1792 0.04795 106 92 9 5
1754 No one is going to carve their initials in a tree wearing a tie. 1.1792 0.04196 106 89 15 2
1755 It has something to do with birds and bees. 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
1756 Do you believe in reincarnation? 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
1757 I draw the line at boxer briefs. 1.1789 0.04227 95 79 15 1
1758 I’m going to be office paper. 1.1789 0.04005 123 104 16 3
1759 You new around here? 1.1789 0.04476 123 107 10 6
1760 I prefer plain yellow but only the old oaks can pull that off. 1.1786 0.04247 112 95 14 3
1761 Then one of my apples fell in my mouth and I realized I was naked! 1.1786 0.04247 112 95 14 3
1762 I can't get there from here !! 1.1786 0.04054 112 94 16 2
1763 HR said dress up or don’t bother showing up. But how’s your return to office? 1.1786 0.04433 112 96 12 4
1764 I assure you, I'm the best surgeon around 1.1786 0.04782 112 98 8 6
1765 You obviously work from home! 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
1766 I don’t know how I’m gonna take this thing off 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
1767 Mother Nature is coming into the office today. 1.1782 0.04954 101 88 8 5
1768 Now, will you marry me? 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
1769 My branch manager keeps grabbing my nuts! 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
1770 I tried the shampoo, the spray AND the pills, but it just keeps falling out. 1.1782 0.04077 101 84 16 1
1771 It feels so good to finally be rooted and tied down 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
1772 This is my first Tinder date 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
1773 I just got back from a service from one of our fallen. 1.1780 0.03924 118 99 17 2
1774 It's not the tie I'm complaining about. It's these horrid wigs. 1.1780 0.04105 118 100 15 3
1775 How about we intertwine branches and make some acorns together 1.1780 0.04105 118 100 15 3
1776 Hey, do you come here often? 1.1780 0.04105 118 100 15 3
1777 I’m dressing for the job I want, not the one I have. 1.1780 0.04105 118 100 15 3
1778 I thought we were part of a formal garden… 1.1780 0.04278 118 101 13 4
1779 Accessorizing is eveything. 1.1780 0.03924 118 99 17 2
1780 Sorry, I’m tied up. 1.1780 0.03735 118 98 19 1
1781 I needed to change it up a bit. Don’t worry, I’ll put the yellow ribbon back on tomorrow. 1.1780 0.03924 118 99 17 2
1782 I thought it would spruce me up. 1.1778 0.05377 90 79 6 5
1783 Trim and prune? I heard we should be prim at noon. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
1784 It belonged to my father. He was the box it came in. 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
1785 Oh, was it casual day and I didn’t get the memo? 1.1778 0.05139 90 78 8 4
1786 Does the tie make me look like a nut tree? 1.1776 0.05111 107 95 5 7
1787 You can be woak. I'm a formalitree. 1.1776 0.03942 107 89 17 1
1788 I don't want a tree hugger; I want you. 1.1776 0.04753 107 93 9 5
1789 Well, I don't have a bough tie. 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
1790 I'm told that it's a Garden Party and Harry and Meghan have been invited so we need to look our best. 1.1776 0.04753 107 93 9 5
1791 So, is this a date? 1.1776 0.04160 107 90 15 2
1792 As your newly self-appointed boss, I’m expecting a slightly faster growth rate. 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
1793 I'm being transferred to an office park." 1.1776 0.04160 107 90 15 2
1794 Does this pattern make me look fat? 1.1776 0.03942 107 89 17 1
1795 I don't care what Fetterman wears. I want to be taken seriously. 1.1776 0.04753 107 93 9 5
1796 For this fall season, it's all about accessorizing. 1.1776 0.04935 107 94 7 6
1797 You new to Connecticut? 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
1798 Stop tickling my toes! 1.1776 0.03942 107 89 17 1
1799 I hear Shel Silverstein is coming to the woods today... 1.1774 0.04136 124 106 14 4
1800 Don’t worry – we’re too big to fell. 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
1801 You think I’m a sap ? 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
1802 I didn't realize this was a 'tie optional' park. 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
1803 Come to this forest often? 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
1804 I've always struggled with knots. 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
1805 Relax, it's drawn on. Just like our faces. 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
1806 And now I can't get it off. 1.1770 0.04021 113 95 16 2
1807 For office video calls I'm, like, business up top party down below. 1.1770 0.04021 113 95 16 2
1808 'I'm branching out in to politics..." 1.1770 0.04396 113 97 12 4
1809 I'm trying to find a corporation to use my name, image, or likeness...and not get chopped down 1.1770 0.04213 113 96 14 3
1810 The heart and initials hurt a lot less. 1.1770 0.04021 113 95 16 2
1811 It's actually just a clip-on 1.1770 0.04021 113 95 16 2
1812 Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 1.1765 0.04909 102 89 8 5
1813 I heard them say they were going to take me out today. 1.1765 0.03894 119 100 17 2
1814 Non-remote day. 1.1765 0.04073 119 101 15 3
1815 It's glued. I don't have a neck. 1.1765 0.04244 119 102 13 4
1816 Tony Orlando ran out of yellow ribbons. 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
1817 I always dress for a trunk show . 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
1818 It's actually a clip-on; I never got the hang of tying real ones. 1.1765 0.04244 119 102 13 4
1819 Me, I dress for success. You may be satisfied to be stuck here forever, but I’m going places. 1.1765 0.04275 102 86 14 2
1820 Do you think vertical stripes would make me look taller? 1.1765 0.04275 102 86 14 2
1821 I got all dressed up but I have no where to go. 1.1765 0.04073 119 101 15 3
1822 I’m told there’s a gala in the park tonight. 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
1823 Oh, they won't cut me. I'm too important. 1.1760 0.03778 125 105 18 2
1824 I'm all ready for my zoom meeting and I forgot to put my log-in again! 1.1760 0.03778 125 105 18 2
1825 I forget...am I Kid or Play? 1.1759 0.03909 108 90 17 1
1826 Do you think it will look good with my fall colors? 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
1827 The guys in the branch office suggested it. 1.1759 0.04712 108 94 9 5
1828 I guess for some, just a hug isn't enough. 1.1759 0.03909 108 90 17 1
1829 I’ve got a an interview for the big grove on the hill! 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
1830 They don't cut you down if they see how important you are. 1.1759 0.04124 108 91 15 2
1831 We don't go to the prom. The prom comes to us. 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
1832 They accidentally deleted the words yellow ribbon so it just read “tie around the old oak tree” 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
1833 Yes, I know how ridiculous I look but, let's face it, we are in the middle of a wood where there's no one to see us... Do we even exist? 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
1834 I bought this tie because they told me it could prevent forest fires 1.1759 0.04525 108 93 11 4
1835 Yeah, well let’s see what you say when you’ve started losing your leaves. 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
1836 I’ve decided that my career needs some branching out. 1.1759 0.04124 108 91 15 2
1837 That's 'ELMM' with two 'M's.... 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
1838 Throwing shade is easy. Shining is hard. 1.1754 0.04360 114 98 12 4
1839 My roots are natural. 1.1754 0.04360 114 98 12 4
1840 Tying it was the hardest part. 1.1754 0.04703 114 100 8 6
1841 I got a new job down at the mill! 1.1754 0.04360 114 98 12 4
1842 It adds to the dignity and decorum of the 'Fro. 1.1754 0.04178 114 97 14 3
1843 I have invested in lumber companies 1.1754 0.04178 114 97 14 3
1844 Just messing with the leaf peepers. 1.1753 0.05079 97 85 7 5
1845 Male & Female Afro Trees 1.1753 0.04148 97 81 15 1
1846 My gender reveal really lit this place on fire. 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
1847 Is there any way you could help me with a Half Windsor? 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
1848 They say you should dress for the career you want, not the career you have. 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
1849 Sometimes I feel like I'm the queen. And sometimes I feel like I'm Mr. Bean 1.1753 0.04637 97 83 11 3
1850 Does this tie make my head look big? 1.1753 0.04863 97 84 9 4
1851 Do you ever feel tied down? 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
1852 I really hate squirrel mating season! 1.1752 0.04131 137 119 12 6
1853 It's the latest trend since 'tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree.' 1.1750 0.03679 120 100 19 1
1854 I've got a job interview down at the lumber yard. 1.1750 0.03864 120 101 17 2
1855 I'm dressing for the job I want, valet stand. 1.1750 0.04211 120 103 13 4
1856 I thought this might deter the birds. 1.1750 0.03864 120 101 17 2
1857 It’s more style than function. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
1858 I really think it's important to make a good first impression down at the paper mill. 1.1748 0.04664 103 89 10 4
1859 I forgot it was casual Friday. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
1860 I'll stand by you" rings kinda hollow in our case, no 1.1748 0.04864 103 90 8 5
1861 do you think I need a haircut? 1.1748 0.04236 103 87 14 2
1862 It's a smart tie. 1.1748 0.04664 103 89 10 4
1863 It's called a "tree hugger." 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
1864 Turns out, when you have a tie they see you as more of a paper-reader 1.1748 0.04664 103 89 10 4
1865 It totally impresses the bushes. 1.1748 0.04236 103 87 14 2
1866 Senate dress code? 1.1748 0.04664 103 89 10 4
1867 And keeping my afro, a tie makes it less likely to be chopped down. 1.1748 0.04005 103 86 16 1
1868 It took me years to learn how to tie a tie. 1.1748 0.04664 103 89 10 4
1869 For obvious reasons we’re taking the office paperless 1.1748 0.04664 103 89 10 4
1870 Did you own or lease a diesel vehicle between 2009 and 2020? 1.1748 0.04664 103 89 10 4
1871 Even though I work from home now, sometimes I still like to dress up a little, you know? 1.1746 0.03578 126 105 20 1
1872 They said I couldn't work from home anymore 1.1743 0.04486 109 94 11 4
1873 Dress for the furniture you want to be. 1.1743 0.04090 109 92 15 2
1874 It suits me. 1.1743 0.04486 109 94 11 4
1875 I'm hoping folks will notice the tie — and not that I'm going bald this fall. 1.1743 0.04486 109 94 11 4
1876 I log in, I log out, I do my woodwork, but all they see is the forest, not the trees! 1.1743 0.03876 109 91 17 1
1877 Then my wife said, "It's our last apple, and you'll damn well dress for the wedding." 1.1743 0.04486 109 94 11 4
1878 I'm trying to set an example for Congress. 1.1743 0.04292 109 93 13 3
1879 My tree hugger girlfriend makes me wear it 1.1743 0.04292 109 93 13 3
1880 I see the boss made you go back into the office. 1.1743 0.04090 109 92 15 2
1881 They said they knew I was a gay tree because I dress well, drink lots of water, and am the shadiest one around. 1.1743 0.04486 109 94 11 4
1882 Return to the office is mandatory for everyone 1.1743 0.04850 109 96 7 6
1883 I have a proposition, what if you de root your stress and branch out 1.1739 0.05034 92 80 8 4
1884 SO YOU THINK THE TIE JUST DOESN'T GO WITH THE AFRO? 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
1885 People don’t listen to song lyrics very well. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1886 I thought it was fancy dress! You, deadwood! 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1887 I miss teleworking. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1888 It was a lot easier to do before they pruned me 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1889 Are you the one playing with my toes? 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1890 I like to think of it as more of a wardrobe than a trunk. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1891 No, it’s a clip on. The others give me knots and won’t leave me alone. 1.1739 0.04325 115 99 12 4
1892 Looking good on paper, bruh. 1.1736 0.03835 121 102 17 2
1893 It was pretty damn hard to put this on in the first place. 1.1736 0.04011 121 103 15 3
1894 My pronouns are it, it, and it’s. 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
1895 You want to root around tonight? 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
1896 Better class of Woodpecker. 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
1897 It sure beats that hammock. 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
1898 I understand they treat professionals differently 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
1899 hey, can you fix my tie? 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
1900 No thanks,I don’t do nudist forests. 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
1901 I am a tree surgeon. 1.1735 0.03845 98 81 17 0
1902 @johnfetterman , right? Nice to meet you.” • p.s. I love you, @johnfetterma 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
1903 Does it pickup the green in my leaves? 1.1732 0.04197 127 110 12 5
1904 I’m Working at our downtown branch today! 1.1732 0.04197 127 110 12 5
1905 Yes - I married a tree hugger! 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
1906 I figured it would help to tell us apart. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
1907 Yellow ribbons just aren't me! 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
1908 George, don’t you have that nightmare? All of a sudden you’re just totally naked. 1.1731 0.04622 104 90 10 4
1909 It's the ties that bind... 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
1910 I just wanna look nice in all the foliage photos this fall 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
1911 I just couldn't stand one more yellow ribbon. 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
1912 It's my power tie. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
1913 They told me stripes were slimming. 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
1914 Every year I get the same present from my seedling. 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
1915 I don't feel seen, like, really seen. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
1916 Actually, it was a gift. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
1917 Ever since my new promotion, I’ve really turned a new leaf. 1.1731 0.03970 104 87 16 1
1918 It's my Arbor Day outfit. 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
1919 I can’t believe I forgot about casual Friday. Again! 1.1731 0.03970 104 87 16 1
1920 I don’t care what Schumer said. 1.1731 0.03970 104 87 16 1
1921 The date went well but she didn't get the joke - leaf me alone 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
1922 … Bare look ? 1.1731 0.04622 104 90 10 4
1923 🎵 I wanna be where the people are, I wanna see, wanna see 'em dancing… 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
1924 I always dress up every Arbor Day. 1.1727 0.04448 110 95 11 4
1925 I didn’t get the business casual memo. 1.1727 0.04055 110 93 15 2
1926 They didn't even ask me which gender I identify with. 1.1727 0.04256 110 94 13 3
1927 I have a hot date with a pollinator. 1.1727 0.04448 110 95 11 4
1928 Hello Oli...Hello Stan 1.1727 0.04448 110 95 11 4
1929 I’m off at 5. Could I interest you in a walk around the park? 1.1727 0.04256 110 94 13 3
1930 Who do you think you are,John Fetterman? 1.1727 0.04256 110 94 13 3
1931 Yeah, it’s classy AND you can use it as a tourniquet if you lose a limb 1.1727 0.04256 110 94 13 3
1932 If I fall down, you’ll be around to hear me, right? 1.1724 0.04112 116 99 14 3
1933 I’m afraid I’’m stumped about what this means 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
1934 I'm in charge now. 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
1935 Leaf it to the professionals 1.1724 0.04290 116 100 12 4
1936 Could you at least wear a fig leaf? 1.1724 0.03925 116 98 16 2
1937 Fortunately, I have the flexibility of working in a hybrid remote work environment. 1.1724 0.04112 116 99 14 3
1938 The ‘Peepers’ are coming, time to dress to impress! 1.1724 0.03925 116 98 16 2
1939 What?! I’m doing this for myself” #selflov 1.1724 0.04112 116 99 14 3
1940 Actually, I was hoping for a yellow ribbon. 1.1721 0.03980 122 104 15 3
1941 Then I got my Masters but it was too late, all the positions were outsourced to the Bonsais and the Figs! 1.1721 0.04307 122 106 11 5
1942 Is this too formal for work from home? 1.1721 0.04462 122 107 9 6
1943 Yes, good idea, I'll run for Senate! 1.1721 0.03980 122 104 15 3
1944 It doesn’t look that bad!! 1.1721 0.03624 122 102 19 1
1945 Oh it’s you… 1.1721 0.03432 122 101 21 0
1946 My bark is worse than my bite. 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
1947 ”It was easier than a hammock.” 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
1948 I’m so sorry but the role has been phylled. 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
1949 I've chosen to identify as male. Do you have a problem with that? 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
1950 Democrat | Republican 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
1951 Do you think a pocket square would be too much? 1.1719 0.03860 128 109 16 3
1952 We have shared the same root system for ten years today! Don't you remember? 1.1719 0.04166 128 111 12 5
1953 I wanna hold your roots. 1.1717 0.04071 99 83 15 1
1954 They say dress for the job you want. I want to be a middle manager. 1.1717 0.04317 99 84 13 2
1955 I can’t. I’m all tied up today. 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
1956 All dressed up and no way to go 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
1957 You didn't get the e-mail? 1.1717 0.04771 99 86 9 4
1958 I have not mastered the Windsor knot yet. 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
1959 I don't know... something about being out of yellow ribbon. 1.1714 0.03936 105 88 16 1
1960 Ed, The Universe has habits, not rules. 1.1714 0.03936 105 88 16 1
1961 It’s been more than four hours. Think I should call a doctor? 1.1714 0.03936 105 88 16 1
1962 Can you tell it’s not a real collar? 1.1714 0.04376 105 90 12 3
1963 And now they’re making us return to the office just when we laid down roots! 1.1714 0.03936 105 88 16 1
1964 I said business casual 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
1965 They told me to dress for the job I want, not the job I have 1.1712 0.04410 111 96 11 4
1966 I promise, I will never leaf you! 1.1712 0.04022 111 94 15 2
1967 I'm ready for Disco Night! 1.1712 0.03813 111 93 17 1
1968 Gent-TREE-fication. 1.1712 0.04592 111 97 9 5
1969 I’m shooting for a notch above 'business casual' but a notch below 'cocktail' attire. 1.1712 0.04022 111 94 15 2
1970 Look, it's clear we need a branch manager and I think you're just the person to do it. 1.1712 0.04410 111 96 11 4
1971 What? No one told me it was casual Friday! 1.1712 0.04022 111 94 15 2
1972 Every year, one of the stripes disappears and I get a new ring. 1.1712 0.04022 111 94 15 2
1973 When Autumn comes, I'm still going to look good. 1.1709 0.03894 117 99 16 2
1974 No more casual Fridays. 1.1709 0.03894 117 99 16 2
1975 I didn't know it was business casual. 1.1709 0.04256 117 101 12 4
1976 Don't forget - we've got the leaf-peepers coming in! 1.1709 0.04079 117 100 14 3
1977 You have to keep growing if you want to contribute to society 1.1707 0.03778 123 104 17 2
1978 It helps them see the trees for the forest. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
1979 ...Suited and Rooted! 1.1705 0.05167 88 77 7 4
1980 Ughh funghinet is slow again… 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
1981 Be honest,can you tell this is a clip-on? 1.1704 0.04276 135 119 9 7
1982 Hi, I'm Tom from the Executive Branch. 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
1983 I never know what's appropriate to wear anymore. 1.1702 0.04933 94 82 8 4
1984 Wow! You’re really dressed to the tree! I didn’t get the memo… 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
1985 Well, I guess it is up to the birds and the bees. 1.1702 0.05160 94 83 6 5
1986 I hope I make the cut! 1.1702 0.03897 94 78 16 0
1987 My roots have me feeling tied down. 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
1988 They might move me to a new branch. I hope I can keep working from home. 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
1989 They may dress me up in a tie, but I’m still just a paper pusher 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
1990 Regarding last night... ehmm... I guess you better get checked for woodworm... 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
1991 I heard stripes are slimming. 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
1992 I decided to try harder this year to make the leaves stay. 1.1700 0.04277 100 85 13 2
1993 Glad Afros are back in vogue! 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
1994 How do I tie my tie you ask? Easy, I use my limbs. 1.1700 0.04935 100 88 7 5
1995 Don't you feel tied down enough, Carl? 1.1700 0.04277 100 85 13 2
1996 Just my luck! After all the time and effort I go to, the Senate changes their dress code! 1.1700 0.04507 100 86 11 3
1997 Florida history book version of a necktie party 1.1700 0.04935 100 88 7 5
1998 Can you fix my tie? 1.1700 0.04507 100 86 11 3
1999 In my opinion you are not going anywhere... 1.1700 0.04726 100 87 9 4
2000 Dress for the tree you want to be. 1.1700 0.04277 100 85 13 2
2001 I’m dioecious, how about you 1.1700 0.04726 100 87 9 4
2002 I learned on YewTube, of course. 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
2003 The invitation said it was a Black Oak event! 1.1700 0.04935 100 88 7 5
2004 I have a Zoom meeting with the Forest Service at 1:00. 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
2005 It’s obvious I branched off. 1.1700 0.04277 100 85 13 2
2006 I'm not sure if I have the length just right. 1.1700 0.04277 100 85 13 2
2007 I don’t think I’m going to be able to make that interview. 1.1700 0.04507 100 86 11 3
2008 Bold move showing up to work naked. 1.1700 0.04507 100 86 11 3
2009 Chlorophyll is for closers 1.1700 0.04507 100 86 11 3
2010 They’re gonna turn me into a business textbook.” 1.1698 0.04126 106 90 14 2
2011 I thought we were gathering for canapés, but you’re saying it’s for canopy? 1.1698 0.04734 106 93 8 5
2012 BE MINE. I PROMISE NEVER TO UPROOT YOU. I JUST WANT TO BRANCH OUT WITH YOU. 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
2013 ...only then did I realize she said I should try tai chi 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
2014 How would I know... I don’t have arms or hands either. 1.1698 0.04734 106 93 8 5
2015 I got a job interview at Dunder Mifflin Scranton offices. 1.1698 0.04540 106 92 10 4
2016 Let's tie one on! 1.1698 0.04126 106 90 14 2
2017 That's so you can tell the trees from the forest 1.1698 0.03902 106 89 16 1
2018 Does this tie go with my roots? 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
2019 That helps, but your hair is still a mess. 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
2020 I know. But it beats the hell out of a yellow ribbon. 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
2021 I'm telling you, they pee on me less now. 1.1698 0.04540 106 92 10 4
2022 They said they could use me at a law firm. 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
2023 Unfortunately, we have a stricter dress code at my branch 1.1698 0.03902 106 89 16 1
2024 I have a Zoom call later today...working from home. 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
2025 Not another tirade! 1.1696 0.04185 112 96 13 3
2026 I'm all dressed up and have nowhere to go. 1.1696 0.03988 112 95 15 2
2027 I always screw up the Full Windsor.. 1.1696 0.03988 112 95 15 2
2028 Yeah, it WAS hard without a mirror. 1.1696 0.04185 112 96 13 3
2029 Well I want to look good if I am going to be someone's dining room table. 1.1696 0.03988 112 95 15 2
2030 There's no easy way to say this, son--your Uncle Marty's a table now. 1.1696 0.03988 112 95 15 2
2031 My aborist thought a pop of color would draw more attention to my bark. 1.1696 0.03988 112 95 15 2
2032 Is this o.k. for business casual? 1.1696 0.04185 112 96 13 3
2033 No it doesn't mean I will join the board. 1.1696 0.03781 112 94 17 1
2034 For this autumn, I thought I’d try something different. 1.1696 0.03988 112 95 15 2
2035 Can I talk to you about LDS? 1.1696 0.04727 112 99 7 6
2036 I'm sorry, I forgot that it was casual Friday. 1.1695 0.03864 118 100 16 2
2037 I'm in plastics." 1.1695 0.03671 118 99 18 1
2038 You do know that horizontal stripes aren't exactly slimming! 1.1695 0.03864 118 100 16 2
2039 Look what they've done! As if I wasn't tied down enough already! 1.1694 0.03921 124 106 15 3
2040 What the hell is Black Tie Optional? 1.1685 0.04856 89 77 9 3
2041 I don’t get no respect. I looked up my family tree and found 3 dogs using it. 1.1685 0.04856 89 77 9 3
2042 Maybe now they’ll treet me with respect 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
2043 An ascot would have been too much. 1.1685 0.04856 89 77 9 3
2044 It hides my ring around the collar. 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
2045 You gotta dress for the job you want, not the job you have. 1.1684 0.04884 95 83 8 4
2046 Do not disturb. I've got a love nest going on up there. 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
2047 I feel our roots connecting. 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
2048 I would have preferred a yellow ribbon. 1.1683 0.03997 101 85 15 1
2049 I have a job interview at an environmental agency. 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
2050 I thought 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
2051 I think we both know who is getting that promotion! 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
2052 Does this tie make me look deciduous?" 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
2053 I always dress for the occasion,but I can’t do a thing with my leaves. 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
2054 Does this make my trunk look fat? 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
2055 I don't know about you darling, but I feel like we're growing apart. 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
2056 My wife says thay even though I'm working remotely, I still need to wear a tie. 1.1683 0.03997 101 85 15 1
2057 The pants didn't work out. 1.1683 0.04682 101 88 9 4
2058 Father’s Day came early 1.1683 0.03997 101 85 15 1
2059 Now they won't notice when I go bald this winter. 1.1682 0.04090 107 91 14 2
2060 Our park was just adopted by Diane Keaton. 1.1682 0.04300 107 92 12 3
2061 It helps me get in the door without getting made into one. 1.1682 0.04090 107 91 14 2
2062 My love, dear Terry The Tree, I need to live my best life - which now includes an upgrade of my wood-robe. 1.1682 0.04090 107 91 14 2
2063 I couldn’t find a yellow one. 1.1682 0.04090 107 91 14 2
2064 I was adopted as a corporate carbon offset. 1.1682 0.04300 107 92 12 3
2065 You know they said they wanted aa formal garden. 1.1682 0.04300 107 92 12 3
2066 In 50 years our leaves will touch but my tie will have choked me to death. 1.1682 0.04692 107 94 8 5
2067 Yep. Finally found a work from home job. 1.1682 0.04300 107 92 12 3
2068 It's called Sprucing up! 1.1682 0.04300 107 92 12 3
2069 I dunno Woody, I’m all spruced up and no where to go. 1.1682 0.04692 107 94 8 5
2070 I thought I would try a new look this fall. 1.1682 0.03633 107 89 18 0
2071 I wanted a yellow ribbon, but they said that was out-of-date history now. 1.1682 0.04500 107 93 10 4
2072 The way I look at it, without deploying a little sartorial splendor, people see you more as forest than for the tree that you are trying to be. 1.1682 0.04692 107 94 8 5
2073 Does this make me look like I have too much junk in my trunk? 1.1682 0.03868 107 90 16 1
2074 Don’t worry. I’ll always have roots here. 1.1682 0.04500 107 93 10 4
2075 Speaking of knots, it’s a Windsor. 1.1682 0.03868 107 90 16 1
2076 Sure, it looks good. But what about when the seasons change? I can't take it off. I don't have hands. THIS TIE IS A PRISON MARTY! 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
2077 I’m being promoted to the lumber yard later today.” 1.1681 0.04337 113 98 11 4
2078 Folks without the ties are the first to get the axe. 1.1681 0.04337 113 98 11 4
2079 …..What? 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
2080 Honestly, I just need a hug. 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
2081 Yes, darling. I also feel a distance. 1.1681 0.03956 113 96 15 2
2082 My entire life I’ve been raised to be FSC certified! Oh, the places I’ll go, the things I’ll see, and the experiences I’m gonna have - you can’t even imagine! 1.1681 0.03751 113 95 17 1
2083 I always like to dress professionally when I’m starting a new branch. 1.1681 0.04516 113 99 9 5
2084 I'd advise putting on your best. There's rumor of another downsizing going through the forest. 1.1679 0.03619 131 111 18 2
2085 I'm interviewing. Time to branch out. 1.1667 0.05058 96 85 6 5
2086 Do I look fat in this tie? 1.1667 0.03695 126 107 17 2
2087 I can't wait to get out of this monkey suit. I hate this commute! 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
2088 I’m going as Don King 1.1667 0.04651 108 95 8 5
2089 I'm interviewing for a new position. 1.1667 0.04639 102 89 9 4
2090 I think the squirrel’s roommate knows not to go up. 1.1667 0.04301 114 99 11 4
2091 Maybe now people will tell us apart. Tyler: Tyler has the tie. Noah: Noah has no tie. 1.1667 0.04263 108 93 12 3
2092 When the law arrives with their chainsaws, I will be fine, you don't understand that white collar targets never get punished! -Joe Ryan 1.1667 0.04263 108 93 12 3
2093 Not the Yellow Ribbon I had expected! 1.1667 0.05311 84 74 6 4
2094 I heard chainsaws. I'm hoping they'll think I'm one of them. 1.1667 0.03950 90 75 15 0
2095 Party’s at 7. You going? 1.1667 0.03924 114 97 15 2
2096 My bark keeps it from slipping down.... 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
2097 If they could just focus on the forest, then what I'm wearing wouldn't matter anymore. 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
2098 Hi, are you my Uber? 1.1667 0.05059 90 79 7 4
2099 I thought this was a formal affair. 1.1667 0.04301 114 99 11 4
2100 Do you think this tie makes my butt look too big ? 1.1667 0.04639 102 89 9 4
2101 I'm a mature tree. 1.1667 0.03708 102 85 17 0
2102 Baby, you make my sap boil. 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
2103 I am just grateful I can work remotely. 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2104 It's only an internship, but they said with a little hard work, I could be a china cabinet or an armoire. 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
2105 I decided to branch out into politics 1.1667 0.03708 102 85 17 0
2106 I hear they're thinking of trimming the executive branch. 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
2107 Have you heard about all the fires recently? I heard the only way to survive in this climate is to try to blend in. 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2108 Don't be a stick in the mud. 1.1667 0.04117 114 98 13 3
2109 Step 1: Dress for the job you want. 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
2110 I thought it was worth a shot. The loggers and poachers might take me more seriously and pass on chopping me down. 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
2111 You gotta dress for season you want, not what you have. 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
2112 I've had it. 1.1667 0.04263 108 93 12 3
2113 I just realized two dreadful things—you're naked and I"m overdressed! 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
2114 I borrowed it from the spruce tree 1.1667 0.03804 120 102 16 2
2115 Be honest. Does it make my neck look shorter? 1.1667 0.04263 108 93 12 3
2116 I haven't figured out shirt and pants yet. 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2117 I heard Joyce Kilmer was stopping by. 1.1667 0.03961 102 86 15 1
2118 Just don't fall while I'm gone: Nobody will hear you! 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2119 And you won't change your position on this because why exactly? 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
2120 You really should have been at your brother's wedding, Carl. 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
2121 Can you come a bit closer? 1.1667 0.04639 102 89 9 4
2122 They don’t cut down the mature trees. 1.1667 0.03708 102 85 17 0
2123 My other tie has little drawings of tire swings all over it. 1.1667 0.04639 102 89 9 4
2124 They’re making cuts for Christmas again. 1.1667 0.04424 102 88 11 3
2125 The interview went ok, they said I haven’t got enough rings of experience 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
2126 Yeah, it started when i suggested we get curry tonight and my wife asked for Thai. 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
2127 Mildred your roots are showing. 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
2128 Even though I’m working from home, I still like to dress like I’m going to the office. 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2129 Don’t look at me like that! Just because they’re making cuts doesn’t mean it will be me 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
2130 It’s leaf peeper season, show some respect” 1.1667 0.04639 102 89 9 4
2131 If you want to be office supplies, you have to dress the part. 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2132 Thank you for helping me tie that knot… 1.1667 0.04461 108 94 10 4
2133 I thought, if I want to to maintain my reputation as a 'stately elm', I have to class things up a bit. 1.1654 0.03834 127 109 15 3
2134 My AI mistranslated “Tie a yellow ribbon.” 1.1654 0.03493 127 107 19 1
2135 I have absolutely no idea. 1.1653 0.03775 121 103 16 2
2136 Is it Friday already? 1.1653 0.03775 121 103 16 2
2137 The Giving Tree" was banned again 1.1652 0.04266 115 100 11 4
2138 I've decided to work from home. 1.1652 0.04083 115 99 13 3
2139 I wear a tie because I’m going places. 1.1652 0.04083 115 99 13 3
2140 I heard Autumn is coming. 1.1652 0.04441 115 101 9 5
2141 I don’t care what Woodchuck Schumer says… an orchard’s got to have standards. 1.1652 0.03892 115 98 15 2
2142 Too much fall color? 1.1652 0.04083 115 99 13 3
2143 Does the tie come from previous season?" "Yes, but it's always an evergreen 1.1652 0.04083 115 99 13 3
2144 It's not a demolition flag it's a neck tie. 1.1651 0.04020 109 93 14 2
2145 Forgot something, Fetterman? 1.1651 0.04020 109 93 14 2
2146 I’m running for chairman of the board. 1.1651 0.04020 109 93 14 2
2147 Does this tie go when fall colors? 1.1651 0.04226 109 94 12 3
2148 I was treated very very badly by the courts. Very unfair. But we will win in 2025 , even if I'm a tree. The very winningest tree in the forest...And this is not a hair piece. It' s my real hair 1.1651 0.04611 109 96 8 5
2149 Got dressed for the office, but guess I am rooted here. 1.1651 0.03803 109 92 16 1
2150 No dear. I don't think that bark makes you look fat. 1.1651 0.04226 109 94 12 3
2151 Honey , you can't really throw shade ! 1.1651 0.04226 109 94 12 3
2152 I'm trying out some old things I had put away in my trunk. 1.1651 0.04423 109 95 10 4
2153 If this works, it will save both of us. 1.1651 0.04423 109 95 10 4
2154 I don’t know where it came from, but I think it looks classy. 1.1651 0.04226 109 94 12 3
2155 Since we were pruned, I’ve just felt naked! Ellen Sullivan Plum Island, MA 1.1651 0.04226 109 94 12 3
2156 I'm interviewing today to become a board member. 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
2157 When the leaves fall, it makes you feel not so naked! 1.1650 0.04596 103 90 9 4
2158 My mother says it’ll distract from this awful haircut. 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
2159 “Mom always said I need to put down roots.” 1.1650 0.03926 103 87 15 1
2160 They said if I went into the office I wouldn’t become paper. 1.1650 0.04596 103 90 9 4
2161 Say 'hello' to the new branch manager. 1.1650 0.04799 103 91 7 5
2162 The real question is how do I untie it? 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
2163 I've always dressed for the job I want. 1.1650 0.03676 103 86 17 0
2164 Looks like it’s just you and me, sis. They took Mom and Dad away this morning. 1.1650 0.04799 103 91 7 5
2165 We're descended, you know, from a very distinguished line of family trees. 1.1650 0.03926 103 87 15 1
2166 I have to get back to the office, or else I'm chopped. 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
2167 The song is, 'tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree', this is clearly a double wide Windsor knot! 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
2168 Broccoli impersonator isn’t a real job, Steve 1.1650 0.04596 103 90 9 4
2169 I heard that personnel cuts began. 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
2170 Laurel and who? 1.1649 0.03788 97 81 16 0
2171 I thought that you said you were already dressed. 1.1649 0.04560 97 84 10 3
2172 I’m he/him/his 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
2173 Ever since they came and trimmed my branches, I thought I should dress up a bit more. 1.1649 0.04560 97 84 10 3
2174 The stripes go well with my rings. 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
2175 You bet your ash those sons of birches will think I'm poplar now that I'm all spruced up! 1.1649 0.04789 97 85 8 4
2176 I get no tree-spect, no tree-spect". -Rodtree Dangerfiel 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
2177 Of course I tried to center the dimple. But, come on, I have no arms! 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
2178 My pronouns are “it” and “that tree.” 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
2179 I prefer Tinder to Grindr. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
2180 My wife said the tie really spruces up my look 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
2181 It’s my ‘party on top, business in the middle’ look. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
2182 I think it’s important to tie the knot before we cross pollinate. 1.1648 0.05006 91 80 7 4
2183 And then that pine tree over there said, 'Spruce up! Fall's coming' 1.1647 0.04978 85 74 8 3
2184 So when the golfers stop by and have to relieve themselves they will know which is the boys tree. 1.1643 0.03875 140 122 13 5
2185 Full Windsor or Four in Hand? I'm indeciduous. 1.1639 0.04092 122 106 12 4
2186 May I tap your root? 1.1639 0.04255 122 107 10 5
2187 Well this is awkward if I ever want to root elsewhere. 1.1638 0.04405 116 102 9 5
2188 She arrived with a yellow ribbon but I asked her to find something that allowed me to embrace my gender identity 1.1638 0.04405 116 102 9 5
2189 Well, when the leaves fall, I’m dressed. 1.1638 0.03861 116 99 15 2
2190 This corporate culture is choking me !! 1.1636 0.04190 110 95 12 3
2191 Laugh if you want...but which of the two of us do you think they'll cut down...huh? 1.1636 0.03771 110 93 16 1
2192 Thanks. It took me forever to get it tied. 1.1636 0.04190 110 95 12 3
2193 Arbor Day. 1.1636 0.04190 110 95 12 3
2194 I think it read Business Attire." 1.1636 0.03986 110 94 14 2
2195 would you marry me" 1.1636 0.03986 110 94 14 2
2196 The squirrels helped me. 1.1635 0.04555 104 91 9 4
2197 I heard that the Parks Department is taking out every other tree. 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
2198 I hope that tall dog stays home. 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
2199 I want to distract people before all my leaves fall out. 1.1635 0.04948 104 93 5 6
2200 Actually it helps to hide my rings. 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
2201 I can't help if my power tie makes you feel underdressed, Kirk." 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
2202 I’ve been holding off but my leaves are turning brown so I think it’s time to dye my roots. 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
2203 I have a meeting with the developer today. 1.1635 0.04555 104 91 9 4
2204 Do you think I should've gone with the bow tie? I should've gone with the bow tie? Right? Right! 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
2205 I forgot it was Friday. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2206 I felt an ascot would be too much for a first date. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2207 A Shakespeare troupe is coming to the park and I hate that no one dresses for the theatre anymore. 1.1633 0.04516 98 85 10 3
2208 And if things work out, I hope one day to become a dance floor. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2209 Are you playing rootsie with me? 1.1633 0.04516 98 85 10 3
2210 Yeah, some trees just give and give and give and get diddly squat in return. I’m lucky - at least my kid got me a tie! 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
2211 Stop acting like like an old growth, Hal. It's called 'curb appeal'. 1.1633 0.04516 98 85 10 3
2212 Too dressy for Arbor Day? 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2213 I thought they said "sartorial" not "arboreal." 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
2214 This may bring the huggers back. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2215 The arborist is coming to have a look at me today so I have to spruce up. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2216 You know, settle down, have a few saplings. 1.1633 0.04743 98 86 8 4
2217 They have to see I'm too important to cut down, right? 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
2218 It doesn't matter if I work from home. Rules are rules. 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
2219 The Wizard agreed to our terms if we scare the girl and her three friends. 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
2220 But will it still look good with my fall colors? 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
2221 You are correct, my dear. A gentleman should never ask how many rings you have around your trunk. 1.1630 0.03872 92 77 15 0
2222 Got it on sale at Jos. A Bark 1.1630 0.03872 92 77 15 0
2223 You're lucky...you're not tied down. 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
2224 So far really disappointed in these monthly swag boxes. 1.1630 0.04955 92 81 7 4
2225 So I says to the sewer guy, ‘Rooter? I hardly know her!’ 1.1628 0.03936 129 112 13 4
2226 If you stopped throwing shade, we'd have a better relationship. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
2227 Dang it, I always forget casual Friday! 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
2228 I tell you Casual Fir Day isn’t going to last. 1.1624 0.04198 117 102 11 4
2229 It was extremely difficult since I don't have any hands! 1.1624 0.04370 117 103 9 5
2230 Don't worry about your puny limbs,we're both going to be studs someday. 1.1624 0.04018 117 101 13 3
2231 They say you’ve got to dress up to meet the best birds. 1.1624 0.04018 117 101 13 3
2232 They thought I was mansplaining, but in fact I was just pollinating 1.1624 0.04370 117 103 9 5
2233 In order to survive we need to be rooted in tradition. 1.1622 0.04155 111 96 12 3
2234 I'm trying to impress the local druid. 1.1622 0.03953 111 95 14 2
2235 I hate Arbor Day. 1.1622 0.04532 111 98 8 5
2236 I figured, let Fetterman do his thing and I’ll do my thing. 1.1622 0.04155 111 96 12 3
2237 Boy, did I tie one on last night! 1.1622 0.03953 111 95 14 2
2238 There are a few openings here in the topiary division, but you'd need to abide by the dress code. 1.1622 0.04155 111 96 12 3
2239 I’ve just got one word for you. Plastics. 1.1622 0.03740 111 94 16 1
2240 Some of us still honor the old ways. 1.1619 0.04712 105 93 7 5
2241 I'm just counting the decades till casual Friday. 1.1619 0.04088 105 90 13 2
2242 And it's organic. 1.1619 0.04306 105 91 11 3
2243 I dress up when the dog comes to visit. 1.1619 0.04306 105 91 11 3
2244 I succumbed to a moment of ennui and despair. 1.1619 0.03857 105 89 15 1
2245 Tis the season for a little corporate treason. 1.1619 0.03857 105 89 15 1
2246 I don’t know what to do with my garden leave 1.1619 0.03857 105 89 15 1
2247 I used to be a tree hugger like you! 1.1619 0.04306 105 91 11 3
2248 I’m interviewing for the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree for this year. 1.1619 0.04088 105 90 13 2
2249 I can't wait for dress-down Friday. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
2250 We're not going to the same Fall Festival Party, are we? 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
2251 I identify as he/fir. 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
2252 It’s to divert them from finding out how we really communicate underground. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
2253 I landed an audition for 'The Giving Tree' live action musical 1.1616 0.04698 99 87 8 4
2254 I was drinking and I tied one on. 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
2255 And now they want me to commute. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
2256 Pardon me sir or madam, have you heard the good news? 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
2257 I'm all dressed up today hoping that you would come over. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
2258 Let me assure you...I am NOT fit to be tied! 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
2259 I told you the other palm tree companies were all bark and no bite. 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
2260 It was better than a carving. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
2261 I’m telling ya man, we can’t just coast on our laurels this year. We gotta give ‘em a little extra fall color. 1.1616 0.03986 99 84 14 1
2262 Can you help me take it off... 1.1616 0.04698 99 87 8 4
2263 I’m on track to ditch this slim tie for a regular one in just 78 more years. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
2264 I can’t believe they’re making me go back into the office, right after I put down roots! 1.1616 0.03718 99 83 16 0
2265 'I finally learned to tie a Windsor." 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
2266 Well, when you get chopped down for being "just another tree," I'll remember all these hurtful words. 1.1613 0.04660 93 81 9 3
2267 I'm working from home, it's awesome! 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
2268 I wanted to spruce myself up for summer. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
2269 I realize it's a clip on, but maples aren't known for their knots. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
2270 Glad not to be deciduous and keeping our cover for the cold months ahead 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
2271 Can you believe it took me 58 years to learn how to tie a tie? 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
2272 But then Chuck Schumer said I didn't have to wear it. 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
2273 If we don’t leave now, we’ll be late 1.1613 0.03508 124 105 18 1
2274 I'm really gonna need you to start taking being a tree a bit more seriously, Tom. 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
2275 Dress for the sustainably responsible product you want to become, I say. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
2276 I figured it was time for me to branch out. 1.1613 0.04660 93 81 9 3
2277 It’s casual Friday? 1.1610 0.04164 118 103 11 4
2278 Anyway, so I planted myself in the Bahamas, but grew from a sapling here in the US and I'm saving a bundle on taxes 1.1610 0.04335 118 104 9 5
2279 Before you ask, it's a half-windsor 1.1610 0.03986 118 102 13 3
2280 No, I’m overdressed. 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
2281 What are you wearing for Halloween? 1.1609 0.05137 87 77 6 4
2282 Guess what, honey? We’re going to have a Sprout! 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
2283 I might need you for a copy of my resume. 1.1607 0.04494 112 99 8 5
2284 One day, I’m gonna leaf this crummy town, you’ll see! 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
2285 Are you sure it’s straight, I’ve got a date tonight? 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
2286 What do you mean this isn't the right way to knot? 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
2287 Johnson your numbers on shade and air production are great but your appearance just isn’t bearing fruit… 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
2288 Are they making you return to the office? 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
2289 Looking like you trimmed a few pounds. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
2290 Well I'm off to my new job at the lumber mill! They said I didn't need to wear a tie but I figured why not dress to impress? 1.1604 0.04474 106 93 9 4
2291 Maybe if I pretend to work for that corporation, they’ll be less inclined to cut us down!” 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2292 My trunk is stronger with an extra knot. 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
2293 You couldn't spruce up for Mother Nature? 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
2294 When autumn comes and my leaves fall, I still like to be dressed. 1.1604 0.03824 106 90 15 1
2295 So much for casual fir days. 1.1604 0.03581 106 89 17 0
2296 Off to work... It's high pressure, hope I don't get stumped. 1.1604 0.03824 106 90 15 1
2297 If you don't mind, would you please tell me your preferred pronouns? 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2298 You are always sooo critical. Why don't you try tying this Double Windsor without any hands! 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
2299 I'm hoping to move to a different branch. 1.1604 0.03824 106 90 15 1
2300 Your father arranged this, didn’t he? 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
2301 I am trying to pass as a conservative. So I identify as a straight, white male. 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2302 Does this tie help camouflage the junk in my trunk? 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
2303 I'm tired of the hoodie. 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
2304 Could you help me to take off this tie? 1.1604 0.04474 106 93 9 4
2305 When I go down, I go down in style. 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
2306 You're thinking of Kevin. My name is Daniel. 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2307 Not to throw shade but you’re a little underdressed. 1.1600 0.04654 100 88 8 4
2308 Of course it's chafing, but I need the job. 1.1600 0.04431 100 87 10 3
2309 And it can double as a thong. 1.1600 0.04431 100 87 10 3
2310 You couldn't even find your clip-on? 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2311 You dress for the forest you want to be in. 1.1600 0.04431 100 87 10 3
2312 I'll admit that I struggle with the Double Windsor. 1.1600 0.04431 100 87 10 3
2313 This way I won’t feel so naked when my leaves drop. 1.1600 0.03949 100 85 14 1
2314 I’m entering my Venerable Old Oak era. 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2315 I thought I’d look good for the tree huggers 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2316 I'm a never-nude 1.1600 0.03949 100 85 14 1
2317 Should I try a different shade ? 1.1597 0.03955 119 103 13 3
2318 You are such a birch. 1.1597 0.03771 119 102 15 2
2319 I gotta be me! 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
2320 I got a new job as an Arborist! 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
2321 I didn't get the memo about casual Friday. 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
2322 I’m running to be the next board member. 1.1596 0.03797 94 79 15 0
2323 I just hope this new look will prevent me from getting the axe. 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
2324 I’d rather have a yellow ribbon. 1.1596 0.03797 94 79 15 0
2325 I'm going for the position as branch manager. 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
2326 He wood and she wood 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
2327 I figure if we want respect we need to dress the part. 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
2328 Yellow, pink and rainbow ribbons were fine when I was young, but I'm older more conservative now. 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
2329 How can you just go naked like that? 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
2330 Look honey, I just got promoted to branch manager! 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
2331 Aren't you dressing up for leaf-peeping season? 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
2332 She told me to get the stick out of my hollow! I’ve don’t think I’m that stuck up; do you? 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
2333 Self -anthropomorism. I'm hoping for the best. 1.1593 0.04086 113 98 12 3
2334 I've got a job interview this afternoon 1.1593 0.04086 113 98 12 3
2335 Apparently we make good dressers so I decided to give it a try. 1.1593 0.04456 113 100 8 5
2336 I've grown cones. Will you still be my friend if I reassign evergreen? 1.1593 0.03888 113 97 14 2
2337 Wait! It's our 1,000th anniversary. You didn't dress up! 1.1593 0.04275 113 99 10 4
2338 Sorry I barked at you last night. By the way, your canopy looks FABULIOUS. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
2339 Fancy this neck of the wood 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
2340 It’s important to look professional in online meetings. 1.1589 0.04434 107 94 9 4
2341 I want to show I'm a working tree. 1.1589 0.03791 107 91 15 1
2342 Ugh, I always overdress. 1.1589 0.04231 107 93 11 3
2343 Dignified? Do you actually think that I tied this on myself? 1.1589 0.04017 107 92 13 2
2344 Darn! I forgot it was casual Friday! 1.1589 0.04017 107 92 13 2
2345 I thought it would make me look trim. 1.1589 0.04231 107 93 11 3
2346 Do you think cornrows would be too much? 1.1589 0.04017 107 92 13 2
2347 Would the clip-on have been better? 1.1589 0.04434 107 94 9 4
2348 I told you getting perms together wasn’t a good idea. We should have gotten ❤️tattoos instead. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
2349 I was considering a bow tie, but that would look silly on a tree. 1.1584 0.04610 101 89 8 4
2350 I'm not sure this is what they meant by 'Tie one on'" 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2351 I specifically asked for a bow tie! 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2352 I'd be stiff with or without a tie 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2353 FEAR OF COMMITMENT?! I'M ROOTED TO YOU! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?! 1.1584 0.04610 101 89 8 4
2354 I was told it was a Weather Event. 1.1584 0.04610 101 89 8 4
2355 You don't like it? Try and accept me for who I am, knots and all. 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2356 I hope this will keep male bears from hugging and climbing in me! 1.1584 0.04390 101 88 10 3
2357 Well, you had your roots colored. 1.1584 0.04390 101 88 10 3
2358 It's a formal event but I just don't know how I'm going to get there. 1.1584 0.04390 101 88 10 3
2359 I can’t be a paper pusher forever. 1.1584 0.04390 101 88 10 3
2360 A little too overdressed, I must say. 1.1584 0.04390 101 88 10 3
2361 Oh hey. You trim up nicely. 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2362 The commute is even worse. 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2363 I've got a date with a fig tree. 1.1579 0.03761 95 80 15 0
2364 Maybe now they’ll take global warming seriously. 1.1579 0.03856 114 98 14 2
2365 Dress for the job you want, not the one you have. That's what I always say. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2366 Preppies have marked me for felling. 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2367 Guess you didn’t go to parochial schools? 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2368 I heard that I have a date with a lumberjack 1.1579 0.04240 114 100 10 4
2369 They say it makes your trunk look bigger 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2370 I told the park's landscaper it was formal. 1.1579 0.04807 95 84 7 4
2371 And then she hugged me! 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2372 I thought we both agreed to tie one on. 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2373 Yeah... it's a Windsor knot. I don't think I could have figured out how to tie it on my own without the help of the birds on the second level. 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2374 Ooh, you grabbed my root! 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2375 Before the enchantment I worked at Brooks Brothers. 1.1579 0.04807 95 84 7 4
2376 I have one word for you: Photosynthetics. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2377 But does it assert that I'm outstanding in my field? 1.1579 0.04053 114 99 12 3
2378 I don’t know what to tell you, my hands are tied. 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2379 Did you log in my Amazon Prime again? 1.1579 0.03761 95 80 15 0
2380 No, the invite said Earth Day suit! 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2381 What's the occasion? 1.1579 0.03650 114 97 16 1
2382 I'm interviewing to be part of the podium in the upcoming elections. 1.1574 0.04395 108 95 9 4
2383 Seriously, that's going to keep you from being cut down?? 1.1574 0.03982 108 93 13 2
2384 The Druids had more eco-sensibilities. 1.1574 0.04588 108 96 7 5
2385 Are you a Maple? Sugar 1.1574 0.03982 108 93 13 2
2386 They say Afros are coming back. 1.1574 0.03982 108 93 13 2
2387 Did I overdress? 1.1574 0.03982 108 93 13 2
2388 You've committed "treeson!" 1.1574 0.04395 108 95 9 4
2389 The original fashion trunk show. 1.1574 0.04194 108 94 11 3
2390 Oh, come on! I'm a formali-tree! 1.1574 0.04395 108 95 9 4
2391 Just wait'll she sees my real knot! 1.1574 0.04194 108 94 11 3
2392 Tie-died. It's when you die because you don't wear a tie. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
2393 Why haven't you applied for the new update? The chicks flock to me now. 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
2394 I said to myself, "What's worse? Wearing this tie, or Susan Collins in a bikini?' 1.1573 0.05028 89 79 6 4
2395 No I can't tie your tie. I barely got mine on. 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
2396 Senator Fetterman really has no excuse. 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
2397 The logging company put this on me. I'm scared." 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
2398 So, there’s this thing called Carbon Credits… 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
2399 I’m turning over a new leaf! 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
2400 This way I'll be sure not to miss my GQ magazine delivery 1.1570 0.04233 121 107 9 5
2401 Does this tie make me look essential? 1.1570 0.03523 121 103 17 1
2402 its formal friday 1.1569 0.04567 102 90 8 4
2403 Two squirrels are having sex in my branches. 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
2404 Building a nest egg as a Branch manager, It’s a good life, you’re welcome. 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2405 How are those Tree-P-S reports coming along? 1.1569 0.03878 102 87 14 1
2406 Trunk-tied 1.1569 0.04567 102 90 8 4
2407 Yellow ribbons are for girls 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2408 Don’t lean in too much to the casual atmosphere here, or you’ll get the axe. 1.1569 0.03878 102 87 14 1
2409 This tie makes me feel stiff as a board 1.1569 0.04775 102 91 6 5
2410 You're naked. 1.1569 0.04775 102 91 6 5
2411 Where is "the office?" 1.1569 0.03878 102 87 14 1
2412 Sorry that the Maui branch got fired. 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2413 I just learned how to tie it--not how to get it off! 1.1569 0.03878 102 87 14 1
2414 Honey I thought you said we were going to the Olive Garden 1.1569 0.03878 102 87 14 1
2415 We had record growth this year, why worry about getting axed? 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
2416 If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Only if the tie is loud enough! 1.1569 0.04567 102 90 8 4
2417 I want my outside knots to match my inside knots. 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2418 I dunno, I just felt like sprucing up” 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2419 I don’t know why the arborist insists on ‘fros’ for both of us? 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
2420 I say NO to the new Senate dress code. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
2421 Laundry day? 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
2422 I start my new job at the lumber mill today! 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
2423 But is it ‘Giving’ ? 1.1565 0.04020 115 100 12 3
2424 I told her I can’t go. My roots are dug into deep here. 1.1562 0.04984 96 86 5 5
2425 It’s so wrong. They didn’t even ask me my pronoun preference! 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
2426 Am I overdressed? 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
2427 I'm hoping to become company letterhead paper 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
2428 Does it make me look too stilted? 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
2429 You'll have to trim that to play sports in in Texas, son. 1.1562 0.04984 96 86 5 5
2430 Big day. Our little sapling is getting pruned. 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
2431 I hope to work at the Corporate Office one day. 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
2432 And then they asked, if I fell in the forest , would I make a soun 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
2433 I'm worried there will be cutbacks at work because of the economy. 1.1560 0.03727 109 93 15 1
2434 I love these unisex hair styles! 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2435 Hello. Do you have a few decades to hear the good news of our Lord and Savior? 1.1560 0.04548 109 97 7 5
2436 I'm leaving you, figuratively. 1.1560 0.03491 109 92 17 0
2437 I'm a trans human. 1.1560 0.04158 109 95 11 3
2438 My friend died of ash borer disease, and I have a stump grinding to go to. 1.1560 0.04548 109 97 7 5
2439 It turns out money does not grow on trees or at the New York Stock Exchange. 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2440 Thankfully, it’s a work from home position. 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
2441 Sorry. But the answer is still “No”. And BTW, that’s not a ribbon, it is not yellow and you are not an oak tree. 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
2442 It’s my mature growth phase 1.1556 0.03915 135 119 11 5
2443 Grow away! It’s the tie fungus! 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
2444 All these years and you're still in the same spot; I think you have a terrible fear of commitment. 1.1553 0.03843 103 88 14 1
2445 Yep. A mulching service for another Ash friend. 1.1553 0.03843 103 88 14 1
2446 Money doesn't just grow on me. 1.1553 0.04310 103 90 10 3
2447 I'm trim now, right? They won't need those big scissors anymore? 1.1553 0.03843 103 88 14 1
2448 They’re wearing them thinner now. 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2449 OK. I'm sorry. Now please let your roots cuddle with my mine. 1.1553 0.03843 103 88 14 1
2450 Looks like your the one getting the axe 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2451 Hey Bud, Casual Friday is tomorrow 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2452 She left me for an evergreen. 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2453 Im going to a photosynthesis board meeting. 1.1553 0.03843 103 88 14 1
2454 ‘come-on. “it’s the wolf of wall street”—Terrifying while still subtle.’ 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
2455 Do you think they’ll be able to tell I’m not wearing pants? 1.1553 0.04310 103 90 10 3
2456 How on earth did you tie that tie?" "Oh, I'm rooted in the don't-go-out-on-a-limb movement. I only ever use clip-ons! 1.1553 0.04731 103 92 6 5
2457 You promise this falls off come October? 1.1552 0.03794 116 100 14 2
2458 Johnny’s invite said black-tie optional. Let it go, man. 1.1552 0.03591 116 99 16 1
2459 It’s hard to conceal my ever growing arbor for you! 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
2460 The limit's changed. I'm a city tree now... 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
2461 Did you hear me? I said I’m ‘dressed to the pines’. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
2462 I tell you... I don't get no respect. 1.1548 0.04936 84 74 7 3
2463 I'm not comfortable with the new Congressional dress code. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
2464 You come here often? 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
2465 I'm asking my girlfriend to tie the knot. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
2466 Did you hear about Larry? He fell last week and no one even said anything 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2467 I never seem to get the memo. 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
2468 The boredom is excruciating. 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
2469 They want us in the office 3 days a week. 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
2470 I've got wood. 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
2471 Well of course the collar IS fake. 1.1546 0.03690 97 82 15 0
2472 It's just a Zoom meeting. Nobody will see my roots. 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
2473 I spotted an attractive Japanese maple across the yard, and I wanted to make a good impression. 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2474 It was even harder getting the belt on. 1.1546 0.04713 97 86 7 4
2475 Of course tying a Windsor knot was hard. Tying any knot is hard. 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2476 It makes people take my leaflets more seriously 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
2477 Wait, I could just be me? 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
2478 For the fall formal. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
2479 I thought I'd make an effort for Arbor Day ! 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
2480 But I don't want to be a formal dining room table. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
2481 I'M GOING FORMAL - WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? 1.1545 0.03915 110 95 13 2
2482 I have an interview today. You know I've always wanted to be a bowling alley. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
2483 If you like dad jokes, you’re in for a tree-t 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
2484 What are you expecting ... a yellow ribbon? 1.1538 0.03955 117 102 12 3
2485 Nice bush! 1.1538 0.04271 104 91 10 3
2486 How else will they take me seriously? 1.1538 0.04137 117 103 10 4
2487 Hey, photosynthesising hard or hardly photosynthesising? 1.1538 0.04923 91 81 6 4
2488 Could you untie this for me? 1.1538 0.03809 104 89 14 1
2489 They were out of yellow ribbons. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
2490 I've been ordered bark to work. 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
2491 I have an audition for the new 'Hobbit' prequel. 1.1538 0.03809 104 89 14 1
2492 I’m celebrating my two hundredth birthday. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
2493 It's one thing to be rooted and another to be tied down. 1.1538 0.03809 104 89 14 1
2494 Nice haircut. 1.1538 0.04271 104 91 10 3
2495 You’re underdressed! 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
2496 I prefer this kind of knot. Makes it harder to guess my age. 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
2497 Must be fall because you've changed, man... 1.1538 0.04271 104 91 10 3
2498 All dressed up, and no feet. 1.1538 0.03809 104 89 14 1
2499 You really need to put down roots and find a career. 1.1538 0.04271 104 91 10 3
2500 That’s right, our new life insurance policies still cover lightning and fire but with an exclusion when caused by global warming. 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
2501 I felt I needed something to set me apart from the crowd. 1.1538 0.03764 117 101 14 2
2502 Wait, so, today is Picture Day?? Damn, I wore this same tie last year! 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
2503 How's retirement going, Ash? 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
2504 Well, I think it makes me look more professional. 1.1538 0.03809 104 89 14 1
2505 So you're saying its not Arbor Day? 1.1538 0.04484 104 92 8 4
2506 You’d be prettier if you smiled. 1.1538 0.04271 104 91 10 3
2507 I just finished The Giving Tree. If that little boy comes back again, I’m just gonna give him investment advice. 1.1538 0.04271 104 91 10 3
2508 ‘I just leave it tied because I don’t have hands’ 1.1538 0.04137 117 103 10 4
2509 Oh no! No! You are actually my first cousin!!! 1.1532 0.03882 111 96 13 2
2510 They say that you should dress for the job you want. 1.1532 0.04087 111 97 11 3
2511 I can’t keep telling you everything through the soil, Paul 1.1532 0.04087 111 97 11 3
2512 Come on, dude, we’re not on Zoom anymore. 1.1532 0.03882 111 96 13 2
2513 Wanted to make an effort to look good for you. 1.1532 0.03665 111 95 15 1
2514 Oh, don't worry. It's a clip on. 1.1532 0.04283 111 98 9 4
2515 Wanna go out? 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
2516 Deer prefer the bark of immature trees. 1.1531 0.04667 98 87 7 4
2517 I thought we were supposed to be dressing business casual. 1.1531 0.04667 98 87 7 4
2518 Our roots can intertwine and no one will ever know. 1.1531 0.04667 98 87 7 4
2519 In zoom meetings I only wear formals on my bust ;) 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
2520 . That's right, you heard me, three days a week 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
2521 Forest casual is so out...... 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
2522 Peter, I swear if you steal my tie like you stole my hair, I'm gonna come over there... 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
2523 Look son, I built this company from the ground up. 1.1529 0.03927 85 72 13 0
2524 Horizontal lines are supposed to prevent thinning, right? 1.1525 0.03924 118 103 12 3
2525 I'm running for the Senate. 1.1525 0.04104 118 104 10 4
2526 It’s the best my fashion stylist could come up with. 1.1524 0.04010 105 91 12 2
2527 Geeeze, no one told ME casual dress!” 1.1524 0.03775 105 90 14 1
2528 I put the tie on so when the hair falls out next month I’m not naked. 1.1524 0.04232 105 92 10 3
2529 I still love ya, brother. But I've gotta be me! 1.1524 0.03775 105 90 14 1
2530 If you want to go places, you need to dress for success. 1.1524 0.04444 105 93 8 4
2531 The Corporate Tree seeks advice from the Giving Tree 1.1524 0.04232 105 92 10 3
2532 I've been working on our new Growth Strategy 1.1524 0.04232 105 92 10 3
2533 I'm hoping I'm not the one who gets the axe. 1.1522 0.03765 92 78 14 0
2534 Dress for the job you want, I always say 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
2535 pants are overrated 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2536 You know it wouldn't hurt you to dress up once in while. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
2537 They called me back in to the office. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
2538 I now wish it was a clip on. 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
2539 Why the tie? I heard the arborist is coming for a special inspection. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
2540 I wish we had casual Friday at our office. 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
2541 You can do more from INSIDE the system. 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
2542 I'm all dressed up and unable to go! 1.1522 0.04872 92 82 6 4
2543 Does the colors of my tie accentuates the bark 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2544 I overheard our landowner say that he was taking me out today. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
2545 I was hoping for a yellow ribbon 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2546 What did the senior Senator say to the freshman Senator? 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
2547 At least I wore a tie, you wore nothing, what were you thinking? 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
2548 I don't care if Fashion Week is over! It just feels good to dress up, ok? 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
2549 Sorry to leave. Im late for my interview for branch manager. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
2550 I'm trying to get back to my roots. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
2551 I just wanted to add a little color before Autumn 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
2552 You can be knotty if you want. Me, I want to be natty. 1.1518 0.03849 112 97 13 2
2553 A guy should dress up when he opens a new branch. 1.1518 0.04053 112 98 11 3
2554 It's called the Fall Formal for a reason, Becky. 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
2555 What, you've never seen a branch manager before? 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2556 I'm thinking of running for the Green Party 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2557 You must have missed the memo. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2558 I have the meeting with the boss today, dear. Wish me luck! 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
2559 I've been offered a new branch but it means uprooting. 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
2560 I've been invited to The Woodchopper's Ball, whatever that is! 1.1515 0.03622 99 84 15 0
2561 I tried out for the “ Wizard of Oz “ but didn’t have any fruit to throw let alone arms to pitch.” R.L. Russell 1.1515 0.03896 99 85 13 1
2562 I'm meeting a client, my leaves aren't red are they? 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2563 It makes me look taller! 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2564 No, it’s not a yellow ribbon but I’m not really an oak tree. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2565 I’m trying on outfits for Arbor Day. Does this bring out my leaves? 1.1515 0.03896 99 85 13 1
2566 The tie, it's part of code-switching to human, in which gender is performative. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2567 I’m the original Mr. Harrelson. 1.1515 0.03896 99 85 13 1
2568 I’m told it makes my trunk look slimmer. 1.1513 0.03508 119 102 16 1
2569 I know we’ve been together for the last century, but I think we’ve grown apart. I need to move on. 1.1513 0.04243 119 106 8 5
2570 Don’t you think it spruces up the place? 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
2571 I hate this. All dressed up but no place to go. 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
2572 Oh. I forgot it’s casual Friday. I’m new here. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
2573 Without a tie, the best I can offer you is a seat at the bar. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
2574 This way no one will be paying attention to my falling leaves. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
2575 Our dinner reservation is at 8 o’clock. If you’re not dressed in 5 minutes I’m leaving without you! 1.1512 0.04827 86 76 7 3
2576 I just started the carbon diet and I’ve never looked better. 1.1512 0.04827 86 76 7 3
2577 Tony Orlando started it all. 1.1509 0.04603 106 95 6 5
2578 Sorry to disturb you, Sir, I just wanted to politely invite you to my 275th birthday party tonight. You can show up from 8 pm, please don't bring anything. 1.1509 0.03742 106 91 14 1
2579 My white sport coat and pink carnation wouldn’t stay on.” 1.1509 0.04404 106 94 8 4
2580 My psychiatrist told me if I spruced up it would help my self-esteem 1.1509 0.03975 106 92 12 2
2581 I like working from home, but I miss office attire. 1.1509 0.03742 106 91 14 1
2582 And then they asked me if I had a plan for reducing their carbon footprint. 1.1509 0.03494 106 90 16 0
2583 I f we both lean in we can make some baby trees. 1.1509 0.03742 106 91 14 1
2584 I can't. I'm all tied up. 1.1509 0.03742 106 91 14 1
2585 Hmmm..Your online dating profile said 32 tree rings. 1.1509 0.04404 106 94 8 4
2586 It's hiding s sap stain. 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
2587 Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2588 I can't wait until dress down Friday. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2589 The real trick was logging on to Amazon... 1.1505 0.03728 93 79 14 0
2590 You can't go into the Senate dressed that way, John! 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
2591 I can’t help it. It’s Sunday. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2592 I've been promoted to top rung on the corporate ladder! 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
2593 Do you think it makes me look more grounded? 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
2594 ‘I figured if I look the part, I might not become apart’. 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
2595 I didn’t know ties were not compulsory. Could you please untie me? 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
2596 Nah, it’s one of those pre-tied jobs 1.1505 0.04573 93 82 8 3
2597 It’s just a formalitree. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2598 I figured I’d dress up so they don’t cut me. 1.1504 0.04211 113 100 9 4
2599 It's the end of remote work. I have to return to the office. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
2600 You gotta dress for the fall foliage you want." 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
2601 My mom says it makes me look at least a year older. 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
2602 Aw, crap! I forgot it was casual Friday. 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
2603 Shaving the bushes did make us look taller! 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
2604 We must have a million little funerals next month. 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
2605 All dressed up and no place to go. 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
2606 It's classier than a yellow ribbon. 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
2607 I have to wear it. My roots gave it to me for Father's Day. 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
2608 You said it was Arbor Day. 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
2609 I’m now practicing Tie-tree weekly. 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
2610 It's called "fancy TREE, not fancy FREE." 1.1500 0.05063 80 71 6 3
2611 I want to branch out into office furniture. 1.1500 0.03589 100 85 15 0
2612 It turns out Bohemian Grove is not so bohemian after all. 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
2613 I got invited to a germination party. 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
2614 Since when are you business casual? 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
2615 I don't think there's any growth left here. 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
2616 Tie a yellow....come on, sing with me! " 1.1500 0.04578 100 89 7 4
2617 I thought "decorating the tree" was only at Christmastime 1.1495 0.04365 107 95 8 4
2618 I honestly did not know what a "neck tie party" was all about. 1.1495 0.04158 107 94 10 3
2619 I have to go back to the office. 1.1495 0.03940 107 93 12 2
2620 Ceremonial day. I'm attending my nephew's pruning. 1.1495 0.04158 107 94 10 3
2621 How in the heck am I going to get this thing off? 1.1495 0.04158 107 94 10 3
2622 This makes me a boy tree. 1.1495 0.04158 107 94 10 3
2623 What do you mean by ‘all dressed up and no where to go’? 1.1495 0.03940 107 93 12 2
2624 I finally grew into it! 1.1495 0.03940 107 93 12 2
2625 I surmise that dogs lack sartorial class. That makes you it. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2626 Tomorrow I figure out how to put on an ascot. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2627 They’re going to chop you down first. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
2628 I’m interviewing for a spot in the Amazon Rainforest. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2629 We're not sixteen rings old anymore; it's time to start dressing the way an adult wood. 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
2630 That guy meant well with the giving, but I'm here to talk about impact investing. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
2631 I'm the tax-advice-giving tree. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2632 Dress for the park you want, right? 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
2633 I'm not sure what the root of your problem is, Son. 1.1494 0.03844 87 74 13 0
2634 The dress code said “foliage formal”. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
2635 Honey, is my neck too fat? 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2636 It's a company called Dunder Mifflin 1.1491 0.04176 114 101 9 4
2637 All dressed up and nowhere to go... 1.1489 0.03692 94 80 14 0
2638 It was a Father's Day gift. 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
2639 Never leave?? I didn't even know that was an option!! 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2640 Just how formal is this dinner? 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
2641 I read that it keeps squirrels away. 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
2642 Aren't you cold? 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
2643 Tie Tree, it strengthens the trunk. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2644 It's Arbor Day. I thought I would dress up for the occasion. 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
2645 I’m most most proud of the knot. 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
2646 I though it would be a nice change of scenery. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2647 sadsfasdfasdf 1.1489 0.05007 94 85 4 5
2648 I might be ready to delete my tinder profile 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2649 When I applied for the position I knew it was a formal garden 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
2650 Why aren’t you dressed yet? We have to leave in five minutes! 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
2651 Where shall we go tonight? 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
2652 I take it off as soon as I walk in the door 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
2653 I've never been a fan of "casual fridays"... 1.1485 0.03556 101 86 15 0
2654 It's never too early to think about life insurance... 1.1485 0.04748 101 91 5 5
2655 You never know who's gonna come along. 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
2656 It means I’m top-notch timber — whatever that means. 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
2657 You have such beautiful flies. 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
2658 You told me to dump the bow tie! 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
2659 Yeah... I probably should have stuck with the bowtie, but everyone keeps telling me it make me look wooden 1.1485 0.04535 101 90 7 4
2660 Havest Time.. 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
2661 Dude, the invite said business attire 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
2662 I'm not afraid of commitment, but I still need my space. 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
2663 Yeah I work at the sawmill, but why would I join the union? 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
2664 They’re calling it ‘The Great Resination’. Everyone’s going to leaf. It’ll be Autumn! 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
2665 I’ve told you a million times—my love language is physical touch, not gifts. 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
2666 They were all out of yellow ribbons 1.1481 0.04326 108 96 8 4
2667 Is it too long? 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
2668 Sorry - no more working from home. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
2669 They've been up there for a while. 1.1481 0.04326 108 96 8 4
2670 I didn’t know it was casual Friday 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
2671 Do you have the time to talk about paper? 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
2672 You look gorgeous darling! 1.1478 0.03324 115 98 17 0
2673 I didn’t want the job but I did want the experience of going for an interview. 1.1478 0.03546 115 99 15 1
2674 I identify as a cishet white male office worker. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
2675 Try it. You'll get a better class of shade-seekers. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
2676 Yellow ribbons are so passé. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
2677 They invited me to tour the discount wood frame shop! 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
2678 At least I want it to be a good book! 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
2679 They tied a ribbon 'round the old oak tree. Now I'm corporate, and you'll destined for firewood. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
2680 I wish they would just leaf me alone! 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
2681 We're in a formal garden! 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
2682 I can't put a best foot forward so I'm doing this. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
2683 Now that he’s put this on, our hopes for a hammock seem dashed 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
2684 Is it too much for a first date? I wanted to spruce myself up. 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
2685 My therapist suggested it. I was having recurring dreams involving Tony Orlando. 1.1474 0.03656 95 81 14 0
2686 I'd love to, but I'm all tied up. 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
2687 the squirrels wanted some privacy! 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
2688 It started with a yelling ribbon and just evolved from that 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
2689 It's flame-resistant. 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
2690 I'm excited for my first day at Dunder-Mifflin tomorrow! 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
2691 It’s The Masters, Glen. 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
2692 I've been thinking,maybe we're the original social network. 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
2693 It’s slimming, don’t ya think? 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
2694 Come on, just put on a necklace and let's get a selfie 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
2695 Does this tie clash with my species? 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
2696 Well I decided to dress up today 'cuz I heard they're making some cuts! 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
2697 I'm going places. 1.1471 0.04038 102 89 11 2
2698 Thom Browne has adopted me." 1.1471 0.03790 102 88 13 1
2699 Women love the bush. 1.1471 0.04271 102 90 9 3
2700 I heard it was formal today. 1.1471 0.03790 102 88 13 1
2701 I have to go into the office for a few hours. Want me to pick up some fertilizer for you on the way home? 1.1471 0.03790 102 88 13 1
2702 I identify as middle-management 1.1471 0.04038 102 89 11 2
2703 And on top of everything else, we had to drop another branch 1.1471 0.03790 102 88 13 1
2704 I've always wanted to be a spruce. Tie on, spruced up. Oh, never mind, there're no good if you have to explain. 1.1471 0.04038 102 89 11 2
2705 My future as corporate ladder hangs on this business tie 1.1471 0.03524 102 87 15 0
2706 they told me I needed to plant confidence in myself before I got hired 1.1471 0.04038 102 89 11 2
2707 I’m interviewing for the paper 1.1471 0.04038 102 89 11 2
2708 What do you mean, the knot's too wide? 1.1471 0.04038 102 89 11 2
2709 What?! This isn't a formal garden? 1.1471 0.04493 102 91 7 4
2710 I'd take it off if I could remember how the heck I ever put it on. 1.1471 0.04704 102 92 5 5
2711 Dad,Can you help me tie it? 1.1471 0.03790 102 88 13 1
2712 I thought I could tie a Full Windsor, but I could only figure out how to do a Half. 1.1471 0.04038 102 89 11 2
2713 What...? Does it look like I've lost my roots, or what? 1.1471 0.03790 102 88 13 1
2714 I want to look nice. I'm going to have my picture taken. 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
2715 Either I’m overdressed or you’re underdressed. 1.1468 0.04086 109 96 10 3
2716 You have your tie, I need my bra-nches 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
2717 Damn! Doesn't make my neck look one foot shorter. 1.1466 0.03298 116 99 17 0
2718 The logger is coming, and they say he's an extremely formal guy." 1.1466 0.03921 116 102 11 3
2719 Can't you see I'm tied up! 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
2720 I'm trying to impress that dog that pissed on you yesterday 1.1463 0.04945 82 73 6 3
2721 You’re going to wear that? 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
2722 It’s a Windsor Knot. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
2723 You know what they say, go big or go home. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
2724 It's a tree cutting ceremony. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
2725 Thank you for the compliment, but it does clash in the fall. 1.1463 0.03592 123 107 14 2
2726 I really don’t see how I’m letting ‘mighty’ oak go to my head. 1.1463 0.04945 82 73 6 3
2727 Don’t you love Match! 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2728 Thought I'd try to look nice before I lose all my hair. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2729 I love dressing up for fall. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2730 You have to put your best foot forward in any interview. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2731 No, sir. I can't help your money grow. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2732 Don't judge me! It'll rot and fall off eventually. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2733 Without this l feel naked from October until April. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2734 I'm tired of being a cartoon tree. I have an interview today for a position as a cartoon broccoli. Wish me luck! 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
2735 They said I was too shady. 1.1461 0.03765 89 76 13 0
2736 I hate my job, but money doesn't just grow on trees. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2737 If they do away with remote work, I am SCREWED. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2738 It's from that Kindergarten class, the kids wanted me to look nice for fall. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2739 I love working from home. 1.1461 0.05191 89 81 3 5
2740 I didn’t get the promotion after all. 1.1461 0.04938 89 80 5 4
2741 It's a knotty problem, deforestation, but who saw it coming? 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
2742 He told me he was the tying the knot and would be right back. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2743 You have to dress for the job you want; I haven’t been peed on in years. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2744 İ have the leading role in the upcoming nature documentary. 1.1461 0.03765 89 76 13 0
2745 Pardon me...is this where they're looking for dressed lumber? 1.1458 0.04437 96 85 8 3
2746 This is the formal version of the "Tie a Yellow Ribbon" story 1.1458 0.03621 96 82 14 0
2747 All I know is, some cowboys said there was going to be a necktie party. 1.1458 0.04437 96 85 8 3
2748 The tie doesn't make your afro any cooler 1.1458 0.04678 96 86 6 4
2749 You have the right to remain silent. 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
2750 I see you're a fan of the new Congressional dress code. 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
2751 what's your family tree like? 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
2752 I understand Forest Casual, but for crying out loud, Bernie, it's a Tree Mitzvah! 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
2753 That cherry tree? The one George Washington chopped down? Wasn't wearing a tie. You do the math. 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
2754 Does this tie make my leaves look big? 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
2755 Let's stay positive. We'll meet during the next hurricane. 1.1458