Contest #854


Cartoon

854


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started -
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued -
Number of captions 6648
Number of responses 764444
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Are you very satisfied, somewhat satisfied, or not at all satisfied with your pool experience? 1.7465 0.01814 1854 860 604 390
1 The invite said to wear a suit. 1.7208 0.02022 1447 686 479 282
2 I’m usually naked in this dream. 1.6994 0.01917 1700 863 485 352
3 It's either sync or swim. 1.6767 0.01876 1701 873 505 323
4 Everyone on my call assumes it's a virtual background. 1.6706 0.02730 762 383 247 132
5 They said I could work from anywhere if I followed the dress code. 1.6676 0.01966 1450 727 478 245
6 Your application for a towel has been denied. 1.6502 0.01752 1858 968 572 318
7 I'm taking swimming lessons online. 1.6458 0.02793 768 414 212 142
8 I’m from the typing pool. 1.6386 0.01842 1685 896 502 287
9 Do you mind? I'm in a meeting. 1.6361 0.01727 1808 936 594 278
10 It started with a treadmill desk. 1.6324 0.01661 1918 989 645 284
11 I AM the lifeguard. I'm just working remotely... 1.6278 0.02430 1029 575 262 192
12 I'm taking an immersive writing course. 1.6251 0.01790 1699 900 536 263
13 I’m working on my key stroke. 1.6151 0.01437 2590 1383 821 386
14 Drowning is the leading cause of death among swimmers. Let me show you some of our life insurance options. 1.6106 0.02186 1166 640 340 186
15 I found a hotspot. 1.6105 0.01445 2583 1395 799 389
16 I prefer the keystroke. 1.6075 0.01580 2135 1152 669 314
17 I’m phishing. 1.6072 0.01695 1899 1037 571 291
18 In the afternoon I swim remotely. 1.6053 0.01712 1946 1090 534 322
19 Believe it or not, Bob, this is 'work-life balance' for me 1.6050 0.02562 833 457 248 128
20 I’m in submergers and acquisitions. 1.6036 0.01910 1501 826 444 231
21 Did you just pee in my office? 1.6009 0.01719 2027 1173 490 364
22 You think you're drowning? You should see my inbox... 1.5951 0.01899 1467 805 451 211
23 And since the other swimmer viciously bumped you, you haven't been able to use your left arm, right? 1.5942 0.01520 2383 1335 680 368
24 Marco. 1.5929 0.01324 3704 2264 684 756
25 Can't talk now. I'm waist-deep at work. 1.5887 0.01990 1274 691 416 167
26 I recommend full coverage. 1.5875 0.01270 3280 1823 987 470
27 The last guy in this job went off the deep end. 1.5837 0.01760 1744 985 500 259
28 That yellow is just my highlighter pen. 1.5835 0.01979 1491 875 362 254
29 Yes, it's my first company picnic. Why do you ask? 1.5785 0.01308 3426 2030 810 586
30 Business and pleasure. You? 1.5779 0.01631 1912 1060 599 253
31 On a one-to-five scale, how likely would you be to purchase one of our beach towels? 1.5774 0.01928 1382 770 426 186
32 These meetings were so much easier on the golf course… 1.5750 0.01848 1454 801 470 183
33 We're on a work trip Keith, try to be more professional. 1.5661 0.02045 1240 707 364 169
34 This meeting could have been an email. 1.5654 0.01799 1636 943 461 232
35 Can you not splash? I’m on a Zoom call. 1.5644 0.01877 1398 781 445 172
36 I couldn’t get into the office pool. 1.5579 0.01759 1649 946 486 217
37 It's better than Starbucks because I never have to go to the restroom. 1.5553 0.01917 1509 903 374 232
38 Corporate criticized my reports as being "too dry". 1.5546 0.01811 1493 846 466 181
39 I’m trying to keep the company afloat. 1.5476 0.01798 1534 884 460 190
40 Sorry Bob, our records show that your vacation is NEXT week. 1.5418 0.01879 1458 862 402 194
41 I work in liquid assets. 1.5415 0.02649 698 404 210 84
42 My doctor told me to spend more time in the pool. 1.5401 0.01831 1433 825 442 166
43 Well the sign says "Suit Required" 1.5383 0.01658 1969 1197 484 288
44 Just changed my zoom background ,so they think I'm working from home. 1.5380 0.02338 894 520 267 107
45 So this isn't the applicant pool? 1.5360 0.01868 1444 854 406 184
46 I'm practicing my key stroke. 1.5330 0.01719 1741 1044 466 231
47 First name ‘Marco’, last name…? 1.5312 0.01843 1664 1043 358 263
48 On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely are you to recommend this pool to a friend or colleague? 1.5268 0.01817 1585 967 401 217
49 I’m practicing the keystroke. 1.5264 0.01757 1607 959 450 198
50 Caption contest finalists— Paul Nesja and Beth Lawler, have their own podcast; whereon, they inform their loyal listeners of their weekly entries; as well as point out to them, the awfulness of the two captions that they ultimately compete against. 1.5256 0.02133 1619 1162 63 394
51 Your swimsuit is on backorder. 1.5256 0.01986 1191 696 364 131
52 As your lawyer, I'm obligated to inform you that calling it the breast stroke is what got you in trouble with HR. 1.5250 0.01946 1421 880 336 205
53 It’s sync or swim. 1.5194 0.02010 1288 793 321 174
54 My wife told me I've been spending too much time in the office. 1.5185 0.02032 1084 629 348 107
55 We have an amazing remote work policy. 1.5183 0.02291 849 492 274 83
56 And, to help us improve, would you say this pool is Much Better, Somewhat Better, the Same, Somewhat Worse, or Much Worse than our former pool? 1.5175 0.01957 1397 873 325 199
57 When did you last see your bathing suit? 1.5171 0.01999 1431 921 280 230
58 She asked how she’d recognize me. 1.5167 0.02105 1076 642 312 122
59 How to be a caption finalist: A) Have a weekly podcast (to promote your captions); and, B) Submit each caption, several times (using different email addresses); so that voters won’t have to wade through thousands of entries, to get to your caption. 1.5157 0.02325 1334 960 60 314
60 I'm the YMCPA. 1.5123 0.01988 1302 807 323 172
61 I'm very sorry but you are in the work-from-home lane. 1.5099 0.02056 1263 798 286 179
62 Look, I’ve showered and I don’t have active diarrhea. 1.5099 0.02303 1269 890 111 268
63 It totally works. They all think it's a virtual background. 1.5073 0.01981 1295 805 323 167
64 Of course we're all here. We work in the office pool. 1.5000 0.02741 624 380 176 68
65 I'm emailing the lifeguard, who's working from home. 1.4991 0.02229 1086 701 228 157
66 I'm a sucker for office pools. 1.4989 0.02310 876 534 247 95
67 May we interrupt your swim for a brief survey? 1.4980 0.02199 1004 622 264 118
68 Don’t forget to always vote for Beth Lawler’s and Paul Nesja’s caption entries! (Tune into their weekly podcast, for details.) 1.4978 0.02535 1119 824 33 262
69 Do you have an appointment 1.4972 0.02278 893 544 254 95
70 Yeah, unfortunately our “Summer Fridays” still have a dress code. 1.4968 0.02406 791 480 229 82
71 Wait... you mean you can just upload a photo to use as a Zoom background? 1.4968 0.02181 1087 692 250 145
72 Welcome to the office pool. 1.4962 0.02108 1040 634 296 110
73 Unfortunately, the editors usually want greater depth 1.4919 0.02538 738 458 197 83
74 I packed the wrong suit. 1.4915 0.02178 1003 623 267 113
75 I've been running the numbers, and your barely treading water here. 1.4900 0.02454 804 504 206 94
76 I'm new. My supervisor forgot to tell me about casual Fridays. 1.4884 0.02618 649 395 191 63
77 If you weren't my wealthiest client there's no way in hell I'd keep meeting you like this. 1.4880 0.02300 961 616 221 124
78 The standing desk was alright, but this is easier on the knees. 1.4879 0.02163 992 614 272 106
79 My production has doubled now that I no longer need bathroom breaks. 1.4878 0.02387 945 620 189 136
80 The virtual backgrounds are only on the paid version 1.4876 0.02527 765 483 191 91
81 I’ve been taking swim lessons remotely for 2 years. I think I know what I’m doing, Greg. 1.4861 0.02395 901 583 198 120
82 All the restrooms are full. 1.4853 0.02574 783 508 170 105
83 Isn’t this the laptop lane? 1.4838 0.02532 711 440 198 73
84 This is as relaxed as I get. 1.4836 0.02251 883 543 253 87
85 Can you float me a loan? 1.4835 0.02660 908 647 83 178
86 Work from anywhere, they said 1.4815 0.02242 918 573 248 97
87 You know, when they told me I’d be drowning in work, this is not what I imagined. 1.4814 0.02310 887 559 229 99
88 I prefer the keystroke myself 1.4803 0.02339 837 522 228 87
89 This may be a break from work for you, but it is billable hours for me. 1.4795 0.02337 853 536 225 92
90 I already know how to swim. I’m learning how to surf. 1.4787 0.02386 846 539 209 98
91 Semi-retired and loving it! 1.4787 0.02309 867 544 231 92
92 I am required to take my vacation time. 1.4780 0.02314 910 583 219 108
93 This is what they mean by ‘drowning in emails,’ right? 1.4777 0.02476 739 461 203 75
94 In this case, and as your attorney, I would advise you to start wearing a swimsuit. 1.4765 0.02398 829 528 207 94
95 I'll let you know when you're in over your head.” 1.4752 0.02715 848 604 85 159
96 I’m allowed to work remotely, but I’m expected to be online and dressed professionally at all times. 1.4749 0.02515 758 485 186 87
97 I'm pooling my assets. 1.4743 0.02781 799 567 85 147
98 Is there an outlet down there? 1.4730 0.02714 649 416 159 74
99 Any additional liquid assets?” 1.4690 0.02445 742 466 204 72
100 Remembering that you are still under oath, did you or did you not pee in this pool? 1.4681 0.02568 769 508 162 99
101 Just this one more report and I'm on vacation. 1.4666 0.02510 703 443 192 68
102 I signed on as a pool reporter. 1.4618 0.02483 747 481 187 79
103 They can't tell I'm wearing trunks. 1.4614 0.02641 661 426 165 70
104 Sorry Bob, I reserved this lane for another 30 minutes. 1.4602 0.02621 691 451 162 78
105 I'll need the 8 digit security code I just texted you. 1.4598 0.02615 696 455 162 79
106 Starbucks was closed 1.4590 0.02658 658 427 160 71
107 I'm the lifeguard but I run a business on the side. 1.4578 0.02725 664 441 142 81
108 It’s called ‘work-life integration’ now, Greg 1.4578 0.02667 640 413 161 66
109 I’m drowning in paperwork, Gary. 1.4572 0.02594 689 448 167 74
110 Company mandated 1 hour of fitness & leisure time 1.4516 0.02591 640 409 173 58
111 I started in the typing pool. 1.4516 0.02724 609 396 151 62
112 My therapist is the crazy one. She thinks I'm a workaholic. 1.4513 0.02847 585 387 132 66
113 You've never heard of the typing pool? 1.4492 0.02779 610 404 138 68
114 Polo! Apologies everyone, thought I was on mute. 1.4485 0.02836 582 385 133 64
115 Have you taken a swim test with us before? 1.4483 0.02758 580 376 148 56
116 I was told to water down the Q4 results before the annual meeting. 1.4481 0.02885 520 335 137 48
117 I get to deduct it as a home office expense 1.4469 0.02587 631 404 172 55
118 The cardiologist told me to spend some time in the pool. 1.4450 0.02770 573 373 145 55
119 This is the least expensive office space in New York. That’s why. 1.4448 0.02713 580 374 154 52
120 Better than the typing pool. 1.4434 0.02905 521 340 131 50
121 I'm swimming in emails and trying to keep my head above water. 1.4428 0.02649 603 389 161 53
122 And on a scale of one to five, one being not wet and five being wettest, how wet would you say the water is? 1.4427 0.02900 567 381 121 65
123 I've got my Zoom shirt on. 1.4421 0.02813 579 384 134 61
124 I’m sorry, but we’re looking for someone much taller who can work in the deep end. 1.4420 0.02947 552 372 116 64
125 I don’t do casual Friday, Ron. 1.4419 0.02842 559 369 133 57
126 The restroom was locked, and I really needed to go. 1.4395 0.03129 512 352 95 65
127 Well, I was drowning in paperwork. 1.4392 0.02973 485 316 125 44
128 This was the only time available on your calendar 1.4389 0.02996 483 316 122 45
129 I needed a better Zoom background. 1.4373 0.02832 558 370 132 56
130 Are you OK with an in-depth interview? 1.4370 0.02792 540 351 142 47
131 If these are your liquid assets, we are both in trouble. 1.4356 0.03137 427 278 112 37
132 My doctor told me that I was too Type A and suggested that I relax in a pool! 1.4355 0.02991 535 364 109 62
133 Yes the business is underwater so this feels right 1.4342 0.02870 532 352 129 51
134 One a scale from 1-5, how would you rate your pool experience? 1.4321 0.02937 486 318 126 42
135 I thought it said lap-top swimming. 1.4318 0.02906 535 359 121 55
136 It's okay, I'm on mute. Polo! 1.4306 0.03027 497 335 110 52
137 I can type three laps a minute. 1.4286 0.03094 406 261 116 29
138 The plaintiff claims you were negligent in failing to respond "Polo." 1.4277 0.03609 470 355 29 86
139 When they figure out that you can work anywhere, anytime, it’s a short step to everywhere, all the time. 1.4265 0.03124 490 338 95 57
140 Was she wearing goggles? 1.4260 0.03146 507 356 86 65
141 The treadmill desks were sold out. 1.4218 0.03226 422 285 96 41
142 They can only see the top half! 1.4198 0.02930 486 324 120 42
143 Well...it IS a laptop. 1.4185 0.03049 466 315 107 44
144 I don't even have time for a bathroom break. 1.4161 0.03547 471 357 32 82
145 I’m Phil from HR. Did you use the word “breast stroke? 1.4160 0.03548 387 273 67 47
146 It's called a swimming desk. It's actually much healthier than sitting 1.4157 0.03052 445 298 109 38
147 I think testing the water before a new venture is a good idea. 1.4153 0.03139 431 291 101 39
148 I'm liquidating my assets. 1.4133 0.03202 450 313 88 49
149 I know,but this ls the only spot in the Y that has Wi fi 1.4124 0.03122 434 294 101 39
150 Shush...they think it's a Zoom background. 1.4112 0.02965 445 295 117 33
151 Of course I’m not wearing shoes. I’m on vacation! 1.4094 0.03167 425 290 96 39
152 I don't pee in your pool, so please don't swim in my meeting. 1.4057 0.03250 419 291 86 42
153 They told me to look for help in the secretarial pool. 1.4039 0.03091 411 276 104 31
154 I'm still trying to find a work - life balance. 1.4037 0.03123 436 300 96 40
155 Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m drowning in work, or actually just drowning. 1.4026 0.03296 385 264 87 34
156 What's the oddest thing you've seen today? 1.4025 0.03276 395 272 87 36
157 I’m new to the typing pool. 1.4015 0.03127 411 279 99 33
158 This is not as much fun as it looks. 1.4000 0.03279 370 251 90 29
159 That was a taxable gainer. 1.3990 0.03674 386 286 46 54
160 You blocked our calls. 1.3989 0.03730 376 279 44 53
161 It’s okay—I brought rice. 1.3989 0.03529 356 250 70 36
162 HR did not approve my PTO 1.3985 0.03207 389 265 93 31
163 In the last 12 months, how many times have you peed in this pool? 1.3984 0.03425 374 262 75 37
164 When you said you had liquid assets ... 1.3980 0.03154 402 274 96 32
165 To qualify for our best life insurance rate, you're going to have to start wearing sunscreen. 1.3978 0.03341 367 252 84 31
166 I told my boss I needed to get some typing done. He said I should take it to the pool. 1.3977 0.03488 352 245 74 33
167 Actually, I’m a White House pool reporter. 1.3975 0.03311 395 276 81 38
168 Sorry, this lane is reserved for people working remotely. 1.3969 0.03342 393 276 78 39
169 I could try to write off your new snorkel, but don't hold your breath. 1.3954 0.03757 349 255 50 44
170 I’m scared to go under. 1.3953 0.03571 387 283 55 49
171 I thought this was the YMCPA. 1.3953 0.03675 301 207 69 25
172 I'm doing virtual laps. 1.3931 0.03382 346 237 82 27
173 My boss told me to take a vacation. 1.3927 0.03179 382 260 94 28
174 Sir, we’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty. 1.3927 0.03547 382 278 58 46
175 Sorry, but I'm waist-deep in work right now. 1.3921 0.03476 329 226 77 26
176 As lifeguard and legal counsel, I warn you that you are getting in over your head. 1.3920 0.03328 375 261 81 33
177 Standing desks are so 2021 1.3911 0.03095 381 256 101 24
178 Covid closed the office,my wife threw me out,and the bar is too crowed. 1.3905 0.03068 402 273 101 28
179 Don’t worry about it. My boss said that I can work from anywhere. 1.3905 0.03015 379 251 108 20
180 I had to pee... 1.3903 0.03558 351 250 65 36
181 How do you spell incontinence? 1.3903 0.03297 351 239 87 25
182 Is this a good time to go over your insurance coverage? 1.3903 0.03264 392 274 83 35
183 Well they might think I was in the office if you didn't keep yelling "Cannonball". 1.3896 0.03334 367 255 81 31
184 I don’t need to wear pants for Zoom meetings. 1.3892 0.03550 352 251 65 36
185 It’s a business wetsuit. 1.3879 0.03314 348 238 85 25
186 I’m usually in hot water. 1.3876 0.03680 338 244 57 37
187 The treadmill thing just didn't work for me. 1.3874 0.03495 333 232 73 28
188 I tried working at home, but I wasn't getting any exercise. 1.3856 0.03208 376 259 89 28
189 How’d you guess I’m from the States?” 1.3848 0.03402 356 250 75 31
190 Fuck Off 1.3838 0.03809 357 270 37 50
191 Now, can we wade into your tax deductions? 1.3836 0.03341 365 256 78 31
192 I'm sure they said I had to join the office pool. 1.3832 0.03509 334 235 70 29
193 This is the lap lane, and that’s my laptop. 1.3829 0.03399 363 257 73 33
194 I'm busy pooling my assets. 1.3822 0.03358 348 242 79 27
195 I've added accidental drowning-just in case you wander down to the deep end. 1.3822 0.03431 348 245 73 30
196 Uh oh. My boss wants to Zoom. 1.3815 0.03445 346 244 72 30
197 Donald said he needed to store some things in my office 1.3814 0.03528 354 255 63 36
198 My boss said I couldn't work from home anymore. 1.3786 0.03417 346 244 73 29
199 I hear there are hackers in the deep end 1.3785 0.03438 325 226 75 24
200 Get the lifegaurd. I'm drowning in emails. 1.3761 0.03284 343 237 83 23
201 You stay in your lane and I'll stay in mine. 1.3758 0.03401 322 223 77 22
202 It’s a nice break from working from home with no pants. 1.3743 0.03441 342 243 70 29
203 Might as well. Our assets are underwater, too. 1.3743 0.03260 334 229 85 20
204 I tried the standing desk and the sitting desk, but this is supposed to be easier on the knees. 1.3742 0.03459 310 215 74 21
205 Oh it's fine, I'm muted. 1.3738 0.03558 305 214 68 23
206 Sir, this lane is for lap tops only. 1.3730 0.03389 311 214 78 19
207 Tell me again the last place you saw your bathing suit. 1.3729 0.03867 303 223 47 33
208 „…so front desk told me you need some help with liquid assets, did I get that right?“ 1.3725 0.03422 298 204 77 17
209 And on a scale of 1 to 10, how satisfied are you with our firm’s commitment to meet you any time, anywhere? 1.3724 0.04142 290 220 32 38
210 No, I'm not in over my head. 1.3724 0.03292 333 230 82 21
211 I only work with mortgage holders who are underwater. 1.3720 0.03543 328 235 64 29
212 You mind moving to the deep end? My next meeting is cameras on. 1.3706 0.03520 313 221 68 24
213 But it’s a cool Zoom background, right? 1.3705 0.03431 305 211 75 19
214 So would you say you pee in the pool always, sometimes or never? 1.3705 0.03703 305 220 57 28
215 I'm semi-retired. 1.3702 0.03415 362 262 66 34
216 HR had no choice but to accept my work-from-home request after I identified as Amphibian. 1.3701 0.04026 281 208 42 31
217 As a serious writer I'm still just getting my feet wet. 1.3694 0.03540 314 223 66 25
218 Sorry, but the boss says if you don’t come to the office, the office is coming to you. 1.3681 0.03505 307 216 69 22
219 Before I surf the web I like to wade it. 1.3674 0.03428 313 219 73 21
220 Could you splash less? I need this to look like I'm in an office. 1.3672 0.03699 305 221 56 28
221 You're actually the first to ask. 1.3671 0.03648 286 202 63 21
222 You've never joined an office pool? 1.3668 0.03687 289 206 60 23
223 It's the best solution I could come up with. My company doesn't allow bathroom breaks. 1.3659 0.03640 328 241 54 33
224 Public pool, public wi-fi. Case closed. 1.3659 0.03262 328 227 82 19
225 Sorry, your pool pass has expired. 1.3656 0.03639 279 196 64 19
226 As long as I wear a tie, I am technically ‘in the office.’ 1.3653 0.03465 323 230 68 25
227 ...and would you say our company's repeated attempts to solicit data grabs through pop up surveys more intrusive, less intrusive, or about the same? 1.3645 0.03719 299 217 55 27
228 Yes.This was the typists' pool in the 70's. 1.3644 0.04200 247 182 40 25
229 Did anyone bring a charger? 1.3642 0.03570 313 225 62 26
230 I thought the pool party was virtual. 1.3633 0.03648 300 216 59 25
231 It’s actually getting better - on my first day they threw me in the deep end. 1.3630 0.03789 281 203 54 24
232 When did you become aware that your bathing suit was missing? 1.3611 0.03785 288 210 52 26
233 I needed to pee... 1.3608 0.03757 291 212 53 26
234 My boss thinks it's a virtual background. 1.3591 0.03822 259 185 55 19
235 I'm into liquidity. 1.3571 0.03583 280 198 64 18
236 Our CPA said we need to become more liquid. 1.3569 0.03429 311 221 69 21
237 We can write this off as Physical Therapy, Plus the mileage to & from. Keep records & get a receipt. 1.3569 0.03661 283 203 59 21
238 just go around me. 1.3566 0.03600 286 204 62 20
239 Any outlets down there? 1.3566 0.03667 286 206 58 22
240 I just can't work from home- too many distractions. 1.3550 0.03824 262 189 53 20
241 As long as my hair isn't wet, nobody can tell. 1.3547 0.03793 265 191 54 20
242 Chris Licht said I could be a great pool reporter. 1.3529 0.03635 289 209 58 22
243 I may have messed up a few key strokes. 1.3523 0.03308 281 193 77 11
244 Sorry. That type of "shrinkage" does not qualify for a payout under your current water damage policy. 1.3517 0.04326 236 178 33 25
245 Yes, I am a pool reporter 1.3511 0.03780 262 189 54 19
246 You're just a Zoom background, you know. 1.3509 0.03711 265 190 57 18
247 It's called work/life balance, but all I do is ruin shoes. 1.3498 0.03982 243 177 47 19
248 The title is "What I did during my summer vacation." 1.3491 0.03578 275 196 62 17
249 Your portfolio has taken a dive. 1.3486 0.03640 284 206 57 21
250 The talent pool is so different nowadays. 1.3480 0.03441 273 191 69 13
251 Life guard or life insurance? So I thought, why not both? 1.3471 0.03609 291 212 57 22
252 I’m trying to bring back the typing pool. 1.3456 0.03674 272 197 56 19
253 The treadmill desk was too hard on my knees. 1.3441 0.03713 247 176 57 14
254 Yeah it’s a great company. Believe it or not, they let you work from anywhere during vacations. 1.3436 0.03799 259 189 51 19
255 This isn’t what I meant by liquid assets. 1.3427 0.03873 248 181 49 18
256 Of course not, what kind of psycho wears socks in the pool? 1.3413 0.04437 208 156 33 19
257 Liquid assets joke entry #473 1.3406 0.04009 276 212 34 30
258 I have to say, it's been much easier since I moved to the shallow end. 1.3396 0.04027 265 202 36 27
259 I told the AI, I feeling like I'm swimming in data... and this happened. 1.3382 0.03671 275 202 53 20
260 I hate to waste my membership. 1.3371 0.03708 267 196 52 19
261 It's 9 o'clock somewhere. 1.3363 0.03645 223 156 59 8
262 Do I have enough work? I’m swimming in it!! 1.3347 0.03732 239 172 54 13
263 The boss banned work from home... he didn't say diddly about work from pool. 1.3347 0.03568 251 179 60 12
264 I thought it was business casual 1.3347 0.03700 251 182 54 15
265 The office said we had to pool our resources. 1.3333 0.03824 243 178 49 16
266 Let’s make this quick, I have another client at the shallow end. 1.3320 0.03833 250 185 47 18
267 Sure, my best ideas still happen in the shower, but this is the only place I can get through emails. 1.3304 0.03752 227 163 53 11
268 I find working from home to be too depressing, but the office is too stressful 1.3302 0.03775 215 153 53 9
269 I couldn't get the Zoom virtual background to work. 1.3294 0.03765 252 186 49 17
270 I’m swimming in debt. 1.3292 0.03342 243 169 68 6
271 I'll need to see two laps of butterfly before I can determine if you qualify for a better rate than our Preferred Non-Swimmers. 1.3289 0.03771 225 162 52 11
272 Give me a minute while I learn how to swim on Youtube. 1.3279 0.03759 244 179 50 15
273 I’m zoom interviewing for a swimming instructor position. 1.3276 0.03938 232 172 44 16
274 I know what it looks like but I am not even remotely working 1.3275 0.03876 229 168 47 14
275 But I'm a wiz at the keystroke. 1.3267 0.04224 202 150 38 14
276 The key is to blur your background and remember not to say "Polo." 1.3259 0.04320 224 173 29 22
277 Bathroom breaks were slowing me down. 1.3254 0.04178 209 156 38 15
278 I find “Work/Life Balance” is easier to attaint when buoyant. 1.3251 0.03719 243 178 51 14
279 I guess I should have clarified what I meant by a standing desk. 1.3243 0.03630 222 158 56 8
280 We all have our own ways of quiet quitting. 1.3242 0.04093 219 164 39 16
281 This way I can keep working through bathroom breaks and leave work early! 1.3231 0.04061 229 173 38 18
282 I want my online swimming classes to feel authentic. 1.3227 0.03921 220 162 45 13
283 Do you want pickles with that? 1.3217 0.03998 230 173 40 17
284 We have flexible working conditions. 1.3213 0.03906 221 163 45 13
285 Have you seen the prices of adult diapers? 1.3211 0.04460 190 144 31 15
286 of course I brought my laptop, this is a lap pool 1.3200 0.04201 225 173 32 20
287 When is the last time you saw your floaties? 1.3197 0.04004 244 187 36 21
288 What's your Wi-Fi password? 1.3196 0.03873 219 161 46 12
289 Since you haven’t responded to our email from customer service, I’m here to help you complete this short survey . . . 1.3194 0.04249 191 142 37 12
290 Life guard? No, I'm with Guardian Life. Speaking of which, if you drowned today, do you know how your family would get by? 1.3188 0.04357 207 159 30 18
291 Are you very satisfied, satisfied, unsatisfied or very unsatisfied with me interrupting your pool time? 1.3186 0.04061 204 151 41 12
292 My other assets are underwater. 1.3184 0.04226 223 172 31 20
293 What they really mean when they say unlimited PTO 1.3178 0.04252 214 164 32 18
294 Polo. 1.3167 0.04277 180 133 37 10
295 I told the board that the labor pool is cooling off. 1.3165 0.03878 218 161 45 12
296 Your entire department has gone off the deep end.” 1.3163 0.04627 215 173 16 26
297 Hi, Bob, I’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty 1.3144 0.04183 229 178 30 21
298 My advice... stay out of the deep end 1.3141 0.04105 191 141 40 10
299 I know how to do my job. Stay in your lane. 1.3139 0.03867 223 166 44 13
300 What’s this “day of rest” shit? 1.3133 0.04173 233 182 29 22
301 Remote work won over Casual Friday. 1.3130 0.03735 230 170 48 12
302 We just need you to answer a few questions . . . First question, "Marco?" 1.3128 0.04389 211 165 26 20
303 He said I have to pool all of the data. 1.3125 0.03955 224 169 40 15
304 It’s a working vacation. Why do you ask? 1.3119 0.04029 218 165 38 15
305 Unfortunately, it is a working vacation. 1.3107 0.04301 206 159 30 17
306 My job evaluation said I should learn to multitask. 1.3100 0.03972 200 148 42 10
307 So when they hired me I was told that access to the company's health club facilities was part of the package. They never told me I wouldn't have an office. 1.3091 0.04518 165 124 31 10
308 Shut the fuck up, I’m buying DVDs 1.3081 0.04630 211 171 15 25
309 Yes, sir, I’ll be sure to underline the importance of work life balance. 1.3070 0.03585 228 167 52 9
310 I'm sorry Gerald, I can't just jump into this "vacation mindset" business.. 1.3070 0.03603 215 156 52 7
311 What do you mean I’m not enjoying myself. It’s been years since I let go like this. 1.3066 0.03814 212 157 45 10
312 I like to come every afternoon to get in a few laptops. 1.3062 0.04301 209 163 28 18
313 Here at the NEW IRS, we make an effort to audit taxpayers at their convenience. 1.3058 0.04235 206 159 31 16
314 I typed How To Swim into ChatGPT 1.3058 0.04121 206 157 35 14
315 I specialize in the key stroke. 1.3052 0.04343 213 168 25 20
316 This is the way I pool my resources. 1.3051 0.04297 177 133 34 10
317 Can you quiet down, I’m about to unmute 1.3046 0.04310 197 152 30 15
318 Not now. I’m in up to my waist. 1.3043 0.04217 207 160 31 16
319 I wish these micromanagers would stay in their lane 1.3041 0.04625 171 132 26 13
320 The CAPTCHA said I had to swim a lap to prove I'm human. 1.3039 0.04260 204 158 30 16
321 Mr. Trump says you haven't paid your membership dues this week ! 1.3037 0.04079 191 143 38 10
322 And how do you like the shallow end of the talent pool? 1.3035 0.04187 201 154 33 14
323 Men can multitask too 1.3032 0.03981 188 139 41 8
324 No, Phil, I'm not interested in playing water polo. 1.3026 0.04150 195 148 35 12
325 You're a very hard. man to track down. 1.3023 0.04451 172 131 30 11
326 It’s my way of surfing the web, no board. 1.3022 0.04352 182 139 31 12
327 My firm is all about work-life balance 1.3014 0.03721 219 163 46 10
328 I just hopped in here to pee. 1.3010 0.04110 206 158 34 14
329 Go ahead, I’m on mute 1.3005 0.04032 203 154 37 12
330 It’s amazing the places you can find free WI-FI! 1.3005 0.04014 213 163 36 14
331 I'm sorry to say, your portfolio is under water. 1.3000 0.03874 190 140 43 7
332 Even your stock options are under water. 1.2995 0.04237 197 152 31 14
333 This is a horrible wet dream. 1.2995 0.04461 187 146 26 15
334 My new job allows me to take unlimited vacation time. 1.2974 0.04325 195 152 28 15
335 My doctor said half an hour a day in the swimming pool would help my blood pressure. 1.2970 0.04403 165 125 31 9
336 This way I can deduct my club membership as a business expense." 1.2963 0.04020 189 142 38 9
337 You’d think so, but these new athletic-office pants really wick away the moisture." 1.2957 0.04061 186 140 37 9
338 The A/C at the office is broken. 1.2956 0.04421 159 120 31 8
339 My therapist just texted. She meant to say, “Try watering my plants.” 1.2956 0.04198 203 158 30 15
340 This is my swim suit. 1.2953 0.03962 193 145 39 9
341 Are you here on business or pleasure? 1.2947 0.04070 190 144 36 10
342 Me? I’m semi-retired. 1.2941 0.04808 153 119 23 11
343 This isn't the steno pool? 1.2935 0.04084 184 139 36 9
344 I only know the keystroke. 1.2932 0.03770 191 141 44 6
345 Says here you haven't returned your towels from last time. 1.2919 0.04276 185 143 30 12
346 I hit the escape key and here I am. 1.2917 0.04876 168 135 17 16
347 Just practicing my keystroke. 1.2912 0.03719 182 133 45 4
348 When I corrected my boss he told me to stay in my lane. 1.2907 0.04101 172 129 36 7
349 Ok, you've passed the practical test, now onto the written portion. 1.2907 0.04101 172 129 36 7
350 They said we couldn't work from home anymore... 1.2906 0.03820 203 153 41 9
351 The keystroke 1.2899 0.03972 169 125 39 5
352 I’m using my home wallpaper. 1.2898 0.04196 176 134 33 9
353 They will assume the pool is just a virtual background. 1.2892 0.04014 166 123 38 5
354 As your lawyer, I advise you to stay out of the deep end. 1.2889 0.04055 180 136 36 8
355 I’m completing the lifeguard re-certification class remotely. 1.2888 0.04369 187 147 26 14
356 I come here for the wi-fi 1.2883 0.04414 163 125 29 9
357 Business up top, Bermuda down below. 1.2881 0.04326 177 137 29 11
358 It’s why it’s called a laptop 1.2876 0.04789 153 120 22 11
359 Obviously, it's a LAP-top. 1.2874 0.04582 167 131 24 12
360 data pool 1.2873 0.04111 181 138 34 9
361 Hi, my name is Steve and I work for your health insurer... I just have a few questions about your health habits. 1.2872 0.04283 188 147 28 13
362 I’m an accountant. This is as much fun as I can have with my clothes on. 1.2867 0.05024 143 113 19 11
363 I miss the days when this sort of work was handled in the secretarial pool. 1.2865 0.04078 178 135 35 8
364 A treadmill desk was too expensive, so I thought, why not? 1.2857 0.04530 161 125 26 10
365 It’s Monday 9 A.M. somewhere. 1.2857 0.04515 182 145 22 15
366 I DONT KNOW -,AI PUT ME HERE! 1.2857 0.04129 189 146 32 11
367 My wife thinks I'm at work. 1.2857 0.04060 189 145 34 10
368 It's the best wi-fi hotspot. 1.2857 0.04173 161 121 34 6
369 Oh, I'm getting some sun, washing my pants, filing a report, checking my email, and doing a little social networking. That's the beauty of multitasking. What are you up to? 1.2850 0.04068 193 149 33 11
370 I Googled "Swimming for Dummies." 1.2848 0.04772 165 132 19 14
371 I'm still trying to find my own work play balance. 1.2840 0.04456 169 132 26 11
372 It's this or Starbucks 1.2840 0.04419 162 125 28 9
373 Why, then, do they call it a typing pool? 1.2840 0.04505 162 126 26 10
374 I just finished debugging the new AI lifeguard. She should work now. 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
375 Well, I was searching for the Marco Polo website and ended up here 1.2825 0.03920 177 133 38 6
376 I'm from the government. I'm here to help you. 1.2824 0.04510 170 134 24 12
377 I'm transitioning back into the office. 1.2824 0.04273 170 131 30 9
378 I think I’m out of my depth again 1.2816 0.03960 174 131 37 6
379 Come any closer and I will Ctrl + X you. 1.2816 0.04043 174 132 35 7
380 I just got an idea for a caption 1.2812 0.04536 160 125 25 10
381 Mister Jones, is this a good time for your audit? 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
382 When I clicked, I thought it said virtual background. 1.2805 0.04540 164 129 24 11
383 This is me "on vacation" 1.2800 0.03940 175 132 37 6
384 I can advise you regarding pooled funds... 1.2796 0.04157 186 145 30 11
385 Standing desk 2.0 - that is, H 2.0! 1.2796 0.04015 186 143 34 9
386 Don't judge. It's a start. 1.2795 0.03961 161 120 37 4
387 So that was first name Marco, last name Polo? 1.2791 0.04464 172 136 24 12
388 I'm still adapting to remote work. 1.2791 0.04387 172 135 26 11
389 I call it "Business on top, pool party on the bottom." 1.2791 0.04148 172 132 32 8
390 Since you won't come to the office, I've brought the office to you 1.2788 0.04086 165 125 34 6
391 It's a wading desk. 1.2775 0.04287 173 135 28 10
392 We each have our own definition of recreational swim. 1.2765 0.04002 170 129 35 6
393 It just takes a few days for my brain to realize that I'm on vacation. 1.2765 0.04415 170 134 25 11
394 And would you Strongly Disagree, Disagree, are Neutral, Agree, or Strongly Agree that the water in this pool is warm enough? 1.2762 0.04153 181 141 30 10
395 Sometimes I mix business with pleasure. 1.2760 0.03779 192 146 39 7
396 I’m drowning in emails. 1.2759 0.04265 174 136 28 10
397 This is my virtual background. 1.2759 0.04342 174 137 26 11
398 You should see my carpool. 1.2756 0.04321 156 120 29 7
399 My best attempt at work-life balance 1.2750 0.04429 160 125 26 9
400 Just surfing the web. 1.2744 0.04087 164 125 33 6
401 I misunderstood the term job pool. 1.2742 0.03774 186 141 39 6
402 This is the only place I can get a good WiFi signal. 1.2737 0.03865 179 136 37 6
403 During the pandemic, I became accustomed to not caring what I looked like from the waist down. 1.2733 0.04526 150 117 25 8
404 I'm just getting the hang of remote work. 1.2733 0.03961 172 131 35 6
405 SSH! It’s my Zoom swimsuit. 1.2711 0.04221 166 129 29 8
406 Would you like to participate in a study of obscure humor for The New Yorker magazine? 1.2706 0.04629 170 138 18 14
407 No really, I can work from ANYWHERE 1.2697 0.03946 178 137 34 7
408 I am watching my kids 1.2695 0.04374 141 108 28 5
409 Even remote, you have to dress for success. 1.2695 0.04023 167 128 33 6
410 I work in swimming pool sales and marketing, so Return-To-Office has really been great. 1.2690 0.03874 171 130 36 5
411 So then I said, 'Listen, Linda, you can make me GO on vacation, but you can't make me BE on vacation.' 1.2681 0.04883 138 110 19 9
412 Our company prides itself on healthy work life balance. 1.2676 0.04571 142 111 24 7
413 They told me to find a talented pool of applicants, but I don’t see how these skills are translatable. 1.2675 0.04553 157 125 22 10
414 Actually, things were going swimmingly until my mouse drowned. 1.2667 0.04310 165 130 26 9
415 No, working remotely has been great - why do you ask? 1.2663 0.04321 169 134 25 10
416 Could I interest you in a drowning policy? 1.2658 0.04345 158 124 26 8
417 This is a side gig. I'm actually a lifeguard. 1.2654 0.04181 162 126 29 7
418 Boss says no more leisure clothes on zoom calls. 1.2647 0.03962 170 131 33 6
419 You stay in YOUR lane! 1.2643 0.04602 140 110 23 7
420 How likely are you to recommend this lane to a friend or family member? 1.2639 0.04725 144 115 20 9
421 Housekeeping is still getting my room ready. 1.2638 0.04336 163 129 25 9
422 It's okay - my virtual background is a beach. 1.2638 0.04066 163 126 31 6
423 I wanted to make more of a splash at work 1.2635 0.04431 148 116 25 7
424 You can't run from an IRS audit forever, Mr. Smith. 1.2635 0.04668 167 137 16 14
425 It doesn't count as work from home if emotionally I'm still in my cubicle. 1.2634 0.04109 186 148 27 11
426 I'm competing in the 100-metre keystroke. 1.2632 0.04112 171 134 29 8
427 It's really hard to get out of a gym membership. 1.2632 0.04451 152 120 24 8
428 Could you please keep it down? I'm in a meeting. 1.2623 0.03929 183 143 32 8
429 casual Friday’s have gone off the deep end 1.2622 0.04136 164 128 29 7
430 Glad I finally caught up with you! So, now, about that extended car warranty? 1.2621 0.04992 145 119 14 12
431 AND WHAT IS YOUR REASON FOR UNSUBSCRIBING? 1.2619 0.04406 168 135 22 11
432 What lane were you in when the alleged attack with a pool noodle took place? 1.2611 0.04619 180 150 13 17
433 I'm getting used to how Miami will be in 20 years. 1.2606 0.04545 142 112 23 7
434 You will need scuba gear to learn how much your portfolio is under water. 1.2604 0.04302 169 135 24 10
435 I’ve taken the standing desk to the next level 1.2603 0.04667 146 117 20 9
436 It's an immersion course - I thought I'd dive right in. 1.2600 0.04863 150 123 15 12
437 Nobody can tell because the background is blurred 1.2599 0.03927 177 138 32 7
438 Stay in your lane, Hal. 1.2598 0.05149 127 103 15 9
439 Well, wise guy, it beats the carpool I tried last week! 1.2597 0.04680 154 125 18 11
440 My therapist said I should start exercising 1.2595 0.04323 158 125 25 8
441 I decided to get into the office pool. 1.2590 0.04351 166 133 23 10
442 My therapist told me I’ve been spending too much time at the office. 1.2590 0.04605 139 110 22 7
443 I'm a pool reporter. 1.2586 0.04049 174 137 29 8
444 Technically, I'm working from home. 1.2586 0.04049 174 137 29 8
445 As your attorney I advise you to say, "Polo." 1.2585 0.04537 147 117 22 8
446 My wife thinks I’m a workaholic, so I surprised her with this vacation. 1.2583 0.04834 151 124 15 12
447 Practicing my key strokes 1.2581 0.04374 155 123 24 8
448 It reminds me that I'm not really drowning. 1.2578 0.04331 128 98 27 3
449 They think it’s a green screen 1.2568 0.04406 148 117 24 7
450 Zoom interview. The Y has great wifi. 1.2566 0.04620 152 123 19 10
451 What? Go around. 1.2560 0.05194 125 102 14 9
452 I work for Marco & Polo, attorneys at law, and I’m here to interview the jury pool 1.2558 0.04832 129 103 19 7
453 Sorry, but the board denied your cannonball request. 1.2558 0.04154 172 137 26 9
454 It was closer than the restroom. 1.2555 0.04637 137 109 21 7
455 Are you waiving your right to CPR? 1.2553 0.04657 141 113 20 8
456 I forgot to set my out of office. 1.2553 0.04318 141 110 26 5
457 From 9 to 5,this is the laptop lane for the Typing Pool. 1.2549 0.04402 153 122 23 8
458 And Tolstoy wrote in the sauna. Is this so different? 1.2548 0.04229 157 124 26 7
459 My boss warned us not to wear Speedos when we’re on Zoom. 1.2534 0.04539 146 117 21 8
460 I’m afraid it’s also your portfolio that’s underwater. 1.2533 0.04250 150 118 26 6
461 I know we’re not supposed to ask you to work during off hours, but it would be really great if you could help us out with a few things. 1.2531 0.03848 162 125 33 4
462 It’s all about work-life balance. 1.2520 0.04703 123 97 21 5
463 Is she looking? 1.2518 0.04577 139 111 21 7
464 They say a good work and life balance is key to reducing stress levels 1.2518 0.04907 139 114 15 10
465 We have a flexible work policy. Now I can be miserable anywhere. 1.2517 0.04512 147 118 21 8
466 My clients really value liquidity in their positions. 1.2517 0.04719 151 124 16 11
467 Work from home is so 2020. 1.2516 0.04154 155 122 27 6
468 I'm bringing back the typing pool. 1.2516 0.04631 155 127 17 11
469 Ever since Covid, I’ve discovered I can work anywhere. 1.2515 0.03866 167 130 32 5
470 I deal in liquid assets. 1.2500 0.04078 132 101 29 2
471 I forgot it was casual Friday. 1.2500 0.04501 152 123 20 9
472 If you came into the office, we wouldn't have to do this. 1.2500 0.04660 140 113 19 8
473 We can deduct the swim trunks, but not the flippers. 1.2500 0.04638 136 109 20 7
474 Didn't you get the memo? 1.2500 0.04397 136 107 24 5
475 Standing desks just weren't doing it for me 1.2484 0.03965 153 119 30 4
476 My supervisor's interpretation of "working vacation" conflicted with mine. 1.2483 0.04656 149 122 17 10
477 I know I’m wearing a wet suit. Where’s yours? 1.2483 0.04753 149 123 15 11
478 This IS how I relax. 1.2483 0.04646 145 118 18 9
479 For an extra $10 a month, I can add drowning to your life insurance policy. 1.2481 0.04579 133 106 21 6
480 My analyst says I need to relax. I say I need to multi-task. 1.2481 0.04453 133 105 23 5
481 Excuse me, I'm in a meeting! 1.2481 0.04702 133 107 19 7
482 It's my last Zoom call, then I can take off the shirt and tie. 1.2471 0.04156 170 137 24 9
483 '' I'm torn between my philosophic understanding of the Myth of Sisyphus by Camus and my Trivago vacation hotel discount" Kevin J. Doran M.A. 38 Lowe Avenue , Fair Lawn, N.J. 07410 1.2468 0.04725 158 132 13 13
484 I gave up surfing in the ocean. 1.2468 0.03605 154 117 36 1
485 The best way to get your taxes done is to just dive right in. 1.2467 0.04910 150 126 11 13
486 We may be able to float you a loan 1.2465 0.04378 142 113 23 6
487 Ok. Now you can deduct your pool membership. 1.2463 0.04424 134 106 23 5
488 This way, I can write off my pool membership. 1.2463 0.04670 134 108 19 7
489 It's an immersion course. 1.2462 0.04511 130 103 22 5
490 Okay, you're covered for accidental drowning. 1.2460 0.04319 126 98 25 3
491 You say Marco, I say Portfolio. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
492 Remote pool party for the office 1.2455 0.03935 167 132 29 6
493 I had to dress for a ZOOM meeting. 1.2453 0.04253 159 128 23 8
494 With climate change, you can now write off swimming. 1.2450 0.04303 151 121 23 7
495 We wear business attire when working remotely. 1.2449 0.04486 147 119 20 8
496 How would you rate your experience today? 1.2449 0.04162 147 116 26 5
497 They placed a last minute meeting on my calendar, can you believe it? 1.2446 0.04064 139 108 28 3
498 I promised my boss this presentation would make a big splash. 1.2444 0.04394 135 107 23 5
499 Yes, I work here. 1.2443 0.04609 131 105 20 6
500 I’m augmenting my reality. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
501 I’m American. 1.2431 0.04648 144 118 17 9
502 I can never make those virtual backgrounds work. 1.2429 0.04848 140 116 14 10
503 is it spelled Feb-uary or Feb-ruary? 1.2429 0.04039 140 109 28 3
504 My wife got time off, but I didn't. 1.2426 0.04239 136 107 25 4
505 This is my first time in an office pool, how do you win? 1.2422 0.04673 128 103 19 6
506 The job opening had a strong pool of candidates 1.2418 0.03937 153 120 29 4
507 I like to combine work and play on hot summer days like today. 1.2414 0.04068 145 114 27 4
508 It's all about work-life balance. There's no way I was going to miss another family vacation. 1.2414 0.04184 145 115 25 5
509 According to my reports, this company’s going off the deep end. 1.2409 0.04694 137 112 17 8
510 Oh yes, I am a corporate shark. 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
511 I'm live-streaming. 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
512 I’m sorry sir but you can contact our lifeguard only by email. 1.2406 0.04791 133 109 16 8
513 Why, yes! I’m the pool reporter for the New York Times. Why do you ask? 1.2403 0.04769 129 105 17 7
514 I want to play but I just can't. 1.2403 0.04640 129 104 19 6
515 One to ten, how would you rate our pool experience? 1.2400 0.04197 150 120 24 6
516 No, this is my first time. 1.2397 0.04043 146 115 27 4
517 I now realize she said "a couple of laps," but I swear I heard "a couple of apps." 1.2394 0.04348 142 114 22 6
518 Actually, I’m trying to remain cool though this final interview! 1.2391 0.04548 138 112 19 7
519 We have teleworking, but not business casual. 1.2391 0.04548 138 112 19 7
520 Still adjusting to this hybrid office thing 1.2391 0.04548 138 112 19 7
521 I’d rather surf than swim 1.2388 0.04517 134 108 20 6
522 I’m the ‘have no life’ guard. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
523 I’m drunk. 1.2381 0.04459 147 120 19 8
524 I call it the keystroke. 1.2377 0.04363 122 96 23 3
525 I'm testing the liquid assets 1.2375 0.04205 160 130 22 8
526 Yes, I manage the office pool. 1.2372 0.04372 156 128 19 9
527 Just talk with me five minutes....and you can deduct the whole vacation! 1.2370 0.04487 135 109 20 6
528 It’s called multitasking. 1.2370 0.04727 135 111 16 8
529 You do laps, I do laptop. 1.2370 0.04487 135 109 20 6
530 I'm reporting her to H.R. You can't splash like that. 1.2366 0.04446 131 105 21 5
531 So you said Speedo.com,right? 1.2365 0.04534 148 122 17 9
532 Only half my investments are underwater at this time. 1.2365 0.04326 148 120 21 7
533 I get more work done here, and I stay cooler. 1.2362 0.04931 127 105 14 8
534 Don't tell my boss; he thinks I'm in over my head. 1.2361 0.04515 144 118 18 8
535 Hey Frank, when you said you wanted to ‘test the waters’ with your new client, you didn’t mean it literally right? -Sadhvi Abayanayake- 1.2360 0.04622 161 136 12 13
536 Glad I caught you. Just a word about your car’s extended warranty. 1.2360 0.04537 161 135 14 12
537 Well, Fred, you asked me to stay in my own lane, so here I am. 1.2358 0.04909 123 101 15 7
538 My best ideas float to the top. 1.2358 0.04483 123 98 21 4
539 I get that question a lot 1.2358 0.04771 123 100 17 6
540 I really mean it when I say I’ll do anything to get the job. 1.2357 0.04254 140 112 23 5
541 I work for Interpol. 1.2357 0.04489 140 114 19 7
542 What? My therapist said I needed a better work/life balance! 1.2357 0.04602 140 115 17 8
543 This is adult swim Tod, and real adults have jobs. 1.2353 0.05162 119 99 12 8
544 After last night, they insist that i wear a suit in the pool. 1.2353 0.04457 136 110 20 6
545 My Speedo is in the wash. 1.2353 0.03797 136 105 30 1
546 I can take your towel order. 1.2353 0.04577 136 111 18 7
547 Just logging in my laps. 1.2348 0.04146 132 104 25 3
548 I thought the sign said 'Audit Swim.' 1.2348 0.04670 132 108 17 7
549 How would you rate your experience today in our pool? 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
550 I'm beta-testing standing desk alternatives. It's going swimmingly. 1.2344 0.04073 128 100 26 2
551 This is my favorite day-trading spot. Right in front of the jet. 1.2340 0.04227 141 113 23 5
552 It’s technically a standing desk. 1.2339 0.04301 124 98 23 3
553 My version of "You can have it all". 1.2336 0.04664 137 113 16 8
554 It's called the 'keystroke.' 1.2336 0.04664 137 113 16 8
555 The swim-up bar was a trap. 1.2336 0.04305 137 110 22 5
556 The key to success is liquidity. 1.2331 0.04254 133 106 23 4
557 It's true, I am just treading water at work 1.2329 0.04351 146 119 20 7
558 I'm Googling how to swim. 1.2326 0.04335 129 103 22 4
559 After years of swimming with the sharks, I wanted a slower pace. 1.2326 0.04472 129 104 20 5
560 I'm writing a biography of Mark Spitz. 1.2324 0.04318 142 115 21 6
561 I'm still not convinced this is your home office. 1.2321 0.04390 112 88 22 2
562 And this is when you noticed your swim trunks were missing? 1.2319 0.04517 138 113 18 7
563 Can I float something by you? 1.2319 0.04517 138 113 18 7
564 Do you know how to change my background on zoom 1.2319 0.04517 138 113 18 7
565 Yes, I'm the Manager. 1.2313 0.04357 134 108 21 5
566 Please go away. I'm trying to do my business. 1.2313 0.04215 147 119 22 6
567 My doctor said I should work out in the pool. 1.2308 0.04441 130 105 20 5
568 I was never fond of Casual Fridays 1.2303 0.04425 152 126 17 9
569 My wife is a slut 1.2302 0.04824 139 117 12 10
570 They're wash and wear 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
571 I just can't focus when the wife and kids are at home. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
572 A jacket just seemed too much. 1.2295 0.04769 122 100 16 6
573 I’m practicing for the free style event. 1.2295 0.04322 122 97 22 3
574 You need to tread lightly. 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
575 What better place to surf the Net? 1.2294 0.04446 109 86 21 2
576 It’s called a floating holiday for a reason 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
577 Do you have a funny caption for a comic illustrating this exact situation? 1.2293 0.04415 157 131 16 10
578 Remote work is awesome. You don't have to wear pants. 1.2292 0.04486 144 119 17 8
579 I love casual Fridays! 1.2290 0.04275 131 105 22 4
580 Perfecting my keystroke. 1.2286 0.03839 140 110 28 2
581 I find myself far more productive in the shallow end. 1.2286 0.04459 140 115 18 7
582 My best event? The keystroke. 1.2283 0.04060 127 100 25 2
583 No, you can’t use this meeting to write off your pool as an office expense. 1.2283 0.04211 127 101 23 3
584 Do you know how to filter a background? 1.2279 0.04299 136 110 21 5
585 I was told to pool my resources. 1.2276 0.04291 123 98 22 3
586 Finally getting my Summer Friday, Jim! What’s the wifi password here? 1.2276 0.04734 123 101 16 6
587 I'm the local pool reporter. 1.2276 0.04237 145 118 21 6
588 I am installing the CHAT-GPT lifeguard. 1.2276 0.04349 145 119 19 7
589 Your portfolio limits you to the shallow end of the pool. 1.2273 0.04372 154 128 17 9
590 Would you rate the urine content Poor, Just Okay, Favorable or Ideal? 1.2273 0.04246 132 106 22 4
591 I meant my assistant Marco. 1.2273 0.04381 132 107 20 5
592 ... because the writer's manual specifically said .. "immerse yourself in the story..." 1.2273 0.04637 132 109 16 7
593 Would you say the water is too warm,too cold or just right? 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
594 I think i can do so much more. I'm just treading water working in IT 1.2270 0.04543 141 117 16 8
595 I'm transitioning into retirement. 1.2269 0.04839 119 98 15 6
596 So the chlorine burned your eyes and irritated your skin, causing pain and suffering, loss of consortium, and irreparable harm—is that right? 1.2266 0.04734 128 106 15 7
597 I've been drowning in email. 1.2266 0.04466 128 104 19 5
598 Unfortunately, all of your investments with us are underwater." 1.2263 0.04633 137 114 15 8
599 I can't wear swim trunks — I look naked on Zoom. 1.2263 0.04395 137 112 19 6
600 I just ordered a bathing suit. Happy now? 1.2261 0.04950 115 95 14 6
601 I’m surfing the internet. 1.2256 0.04351 133 108 20 5
602 It's the best Wi-Fi in the entire hotel. 1.2256 0.04351 133 108 20 5
603 My favorite is the keystroke. 1.2254 0.04287 142 116 20 6
604 Scene one. Exterior. Pool. Day. Now what? 1.2252 0.05069 111 92 13 6
605 My cardiologist said I should spend more time in the pool. 1.2252 0.04375 111 88 21 2
606 Pin striped trunks, if you must know. 1.2252 0.04220 151 124 20 7
607 I simply don't understand why they want me to come back into the office. I'm so much more productive here. 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
608 What, this isn't a typing pool? 1.2241 0.04596 116 94 18 4
609 The pool of applicants is shallower than I expected 1.2241 0.04756 116 95 16 5
610 I'm a licensed attorney, a part-time lifeguard, and a full-time idiot. 1.2239 0.04449 134 110 18 6
611 When HR said we were hiring from a pool this isn’t quite what I expected. 1.2239 0.04574 134 111 16 7
612 When they said I would be entering into a pool of candidates, this is not what I had in mind. 1.2239 0.04054 134 107 24 3
613 this is work life balance 1.2238 0.04593 143 120 14 9
614 I work as a lifeguard, and selling insurance is my side hustle. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
615 Thank you, it's going swimmingly. 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
616 Liquidity is critical in this market! 1.2231 0.04667 130 108 15 7
617 The more strokes, the better your rate. 1.2231 0.04267 130 105 21 4
618 Your portfolio is also underwater. 1.2230 0.04337 139 114 19 6
619 I'm coming up with 2,610,000,000 results for Marco. 1.2222 0.04631 126 104 16 6
620 Me? No sir, it must be a naturally-occurring warm spot 1.2222 0.04492 126 103 18 5
621 Amazon says my swimsuit should arrive soon 1.2222 0.04419 135 111 18 6
622 It's called immersion theory. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
623 And you suspect the stolen article of clothing is still in the pool? 1.2222 0.05166 117 99 10 8
624 Just because there's no lifeguard on duty, doesn't mean there's no accountant on duty. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
625 It’s my new Treadwater desk. 1.2222 0.04116 144 117 22 5
626 I'm just trying to stay afloat. 1.2222 0.04665 99 79 18 2
627 They said no bathroom breaks. 1.2214 0.04374 131 107 19 5
628 The dot only stays green if I’m wearing a shirt and tie. 1.2214 0.04097 131 105 23 3
629 I'm doing my laps virtually. 1.2213 0.04730 122 101 15 6
630 I do my best work when I’m hydrated. 1.2213 0.05142 122 104 9 9
631 HR told me I'd lose my vacation time if I didn't take it. 1.2213 0.04730 122 101 15 6
632 As the attorney for the company, I can only advise you to read the fine print next time. You see, THIS is the office pool you have won. 1.2212 0.04306 113 90 21 2
633 We’re testing the waters with our new app. Want to try? 1.2212 0.04986 113 94 13 6
634 My counselor told me to balance work with recreation 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
635 No, I am not in hot water 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
636 I’ve used all my vacation days. 1.2205 0.04460 127 104 18 5
637 When I interviewed for the job, they told me I’d be swimming in emails, but I honestly didn’t believe them. 1.2205 0.04170 127 102 22 3
638 Would you say your backstroke is better, worse or the same as last week? 1.2203 0.04835 118 98 14 6
639 # “Yes, I am American. What gave it away?” 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
640 Business in the front, party in the back. 1.2197 0.04069 132 106 23 3
641 I can continue working without taking a bathroom break. 1.2195 0.04551 123 101 17 5
642 Fact is, I write better when I'm half-submerged. 1.2195 0.04088 123 98 23 2
643 I'm not supposed to take my work laptop into the men's room… 1.2195 0.04835 123 103 13 7
644 It's sink or swim in this office pool, Buddy! 1.2195 0.04835 123 103 13 7
645 i'm hearing rumors we're about to go under 1.2195 0.04248 123 99 21 3
646 And people think working from home is fun. 1.2195 0.04248 123 99 21 3
647 The swimming desk is the new standing desk 1.2195 0.04402 123 100 19 4
648 Wet Suit? Real original. 1.2193 0.04451 114 92 19 3
649 The name's Poole. 1.2193 0.04946 114 95 13 6
650 Until I have sufficient data on the effects of frog ass on bare skin, I shant be undressing - who knows how many frog asses this water has come in contact with! 1.2192 0.04810 146 126 8 12
651 You should see how I make love. 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
652 My wife thinks I'm at the office, and the office thinks I'm working from home. 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
653 So, how many wetsuits shall I put you down for? 1.2190 0.04236 137 112 20 5
654 I just blur the background. 1.2188 0.04287 128 104 20 4
655 I am in the typing pool. 1.2188 0.04428 128 105 18 5
656 On a scale of 1 - 10 how satisfied are you with the water temperature - with 1 being not satisfied and 10 being very satisfied. 1.2188 0.04287 128 104 20 4
657 We’re working on improving our liquidity. 1.2185 0.04647 119 98 16 5
658 This is my bathing suit. 1.2182 0.05065 110 92 12 6
659 This way I don’t have to take bathroom breaks. 1.2178 0.05559 101 86 8 7
660 Yes, I'm in a meeting. I just blur the background. 1.2177 0.04517 124 102 17 5
661 And finally, how would you rate your overall swimming experience at the pool today? 1.2177 0.04799 124 104 13 7
662 So, she dunked you three times with no provocation? 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
663 Family time billing. Everybody wins. 1.2174 0.04208 138 113 20 5
664 And I don't even need bathroom breaks. 1.2171 0.04112 129 104 22 3
665 I placed first in the 100m keystroke. 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
666 I'd like to float a few ideas by you. 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
667 . "What can I say? WFH is evolving." 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
668 I like to immerse myself in my work. 1.2167 0.04457 120 98 18 4
669 Like a duck, I seem cool and collective on the exterior but under the surface I'm paddling like hell. 1.2167 0.04761 120 100 14 6
670 So what makes you stand out from the pool of applicants? 1.2167 0.04761 120 100 14 6
671 Did you see my earbud down there? 1.2167 0.04297 120 97 20 3
672 I'm doing the keystroke. 1.2160 0.04338 125 102 19 4
673 I think there’s been a massive misunderstanding of the term “bathing suit.” 1.2160 0.04626 125 104 15 6
674 I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty. 1.2158 0.04539 139 117 14 8
675 Where do you see yourself in five laps? 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
676 Would you say; A. Wet B. Somewhat Wet or C. Not Wet at all. 1.2157 0.04951 102 84 14 4
677 I guess I misunderstood what being a "Pool Reporter" for the New Yorker meant. 1.2157 0.05144 102 85 12 5
678 I want to test the water before jumping in. 1.2155 0.04550 116 95 17 4
679 I started as a pool boy and came up through the ranks. 1.2155 0.04711 116 96 15 5
680 Sorry, cant you see I’m waist deep in work right now? 1.2155 0.04868 116 97 13 6
681 Working remotely isn't all it's cracked up to be, especially if you have kids. 1.2154 0.04501 130 108 16 6
682 Remember when we'd just gather around a water cooler? 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
683 I have a desk treadmill, but this is easier on my joints. 1.2149 0.04577 121 100 16 5
684 Hi, I’m Greg, and I’ve been trying to reach you regarding your car’s extended warranty. Please provide your social security number, credit card information, and drivers license number on this screen here. 1.2149 0.04868 121 102 12 7
685 Yeah, I’m hybrid. 1.2149 0.04725 121 101 14 6
686 I don’t think this is what they meant when they said you could work from anywhere 1.2148 0.03988 135 109 23 3
687 I just come for the adult swim. 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
688 I just needed to pee. 1.2143 0.04982 112 94 12 6
689 I'm in charge of liquidations. 1.2143 0.04982 112 94 12 6
690 This counts for my employer's exercise program. 1.2143 0.03564 154 123 29 2
691 I'm just getting my feet wet. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
692 Technically, I'm on a working vacation. 1.2138 0.04174 145 120 19 6
693 Gotta love the blurry background feature on Zoom, eh? 1.2137 0.04830 117 98 13 6
694 My therapist said I have to focus on work-life balance. 1.2137 0.03995 117 93 23 1
695 They denied my vacation request but I already booked my flight. 1.2132 0.04478 136 114 15 7
696 It cuts down on bathroom breaks. 1.2131 0.04831 122 103 12 7
697 Management said they needed me to make a bigger splash at work. 1.2131 0.04391 122 100 18 4
698 Let's talk liquidity. 1.2130 0.04753 108 89 15 4
699 Hey pal, looks like I’m going to have to write you up for possessing one of the most beautiful nipples I’ve ever seen. 1.2130 0.05271 108 92 9 7
700 I forgot my swim trunks. 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
701 Can’t you see I’m trying to work! 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
702 Tax season is always sink or swim. 1.2126 0.04420 127 105 17 5
703 Suit,swim and surf the net. 1.2124 0.04064 113 90 22 1
704 I’m from the IRS and I’m here to help you. 1.2121 0.04306 132 109 18 5
705 Is this not the typing pool? 1.2121 0.04438 132 110 16 6
706 I'm preparing for the climate crisis 1.2121 0.04306 132 109 18 5
707 I can't afford a standing desk. 1.2119 0.04638 118 98 15 5
708 Maybe they said "pool our resources" instead of "putting our resources in the pool." 1.2119 0.04792 118 99 13 6
709 No, not those liquid assets. 1.2119 0.03965 118 94 23 1
710 Can you move? I’m on a Zoom call. 1.2119 0.04315 118 96 19 3
711 Just completing the public pool urination report. 1.2119 0.04792 118 99 13 6
712 Yes well, Roger, when they said adult swim, I just assumed they meant… 1.2117 0.04200 137 113 19 5
713 Whatever it takes to keep the business afloat. 1.2117 0.04326 137 114 17 6
714 Just pooling my results. 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
715 They threw all the new-hires in the deep end. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
716 I wanted to be found well. 1.2114 0.03873 123 98 24 1
717 So when do you think you Will be ready to sell your house? 1.2114 0.04509 123 102 16 5
718 My work is going swimmingly. 1.2114 0.04203 123 100 20 3
719 I take remote work seriously. 1.2114 0.04509 123 102 16 5
720 Year end. It’s sink or swim. 1.2114 0.04203 123 100 20 3
721 Doctor says I need to get outside more. 1.2109 0.04246 128 105 19 4
722 My idiot boss told me to try Amphibial Intelligence. 1.2109 0.04388 128 106 17 5
723 They say the best way to hire candidates is to observe them in everyday life. So where do you see yourself in five years? 1.2109 0.04098 128 104 21 3
724 Surfing the web. 1.2105 0.04574 114 94 16 4
725 And when did you first notice that sinking feeling? 1.2105 0.04574 114 94 16 4
726 Oh sorry, is this not the typing pool? 1.2105 0.04401 114 93 18 3
727 You can lead a bureaucrat to water, but you can't make him swim. 1.2101 0.04603 119 99 15 5
728 The AC is out at the office. 1.2101 0.04112 119 96 21 2
729 I always preferred the keystroke. 1.2101 0.04445 119 98 17 4
730 Is overdressed one or two words? 1.2100 0.05374 100 85 9 6
731 Yes I am a consultant. How could you tell? 1.2100 0.05374 100 85 9 6
732 Job interview. 1.2097 0.04475 124 103 16 5
733 Everyone at the office thinks this is my Zoom background! 1.2097 0.04475 124 103 16 5
734 Hey could you dive down there and look for an outlet? 1.2097 0.04620 124 104 14 6
735 Don't mind me. I'm just here to remind you that you can't swim, and that you don't have life insurance. Also there is no lifeguard on duty. 1.2095 0.05008 105 88 12 5
736 My boss thinks it’s a background. 1.2095 0.05188 105 89 10 6
737 Why yes, I am American. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
738 I'm an underwater mortgage specialist. 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
739 We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty. 1.2091 0.05182 110 94 9 7
740 Good news - turns out the water’s only mildly toxic. 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
741 My boss said we can't work from home anymore. 1.2087 0.04537 115 95 16 4
742 I've been trying to contact you about your car warranty. 1.2087 0.04366 115 94 18 3
743 I’m training the remote lifeguard. 1.2087 0.04188 115 93 20 2
744 Next time we meet at MY office. 1.2087 0.04862 115 97 12 6
745 We are the number one life guard recruiting company. 1.2083 0.04250 120 98 19 3
746 Do you know the Guest Wi-Fi password? 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
747 The invitation said bring a suit for the pool. 1.2083 0.04250 120 98 19 3
748 What? My company said we can work-from-anywhere. 1.2083 0.04865 120 102 11 7
749 I am surveying the voter pool. 1.2080 0.04586 125 105 14 6
750 Easiest way to get skinny leg pants. 1.2080 0.04443 125 104 16 5
751 Yes, we can play mermaids. Just give me one more minute. 1.2080 0.04586 125 105 14 6
752 The IRS code specifically states that if I want to take this as a home office deduction, I must actually work here” 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
753 See, I can be fun! 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
754 It's a working vacation 1.2075 0.04179 106 85 20 1
755 Any idea how to blur a Zoom background? 1.2075 0.04965 106 89 12 5
756 Don’t worry, I’m not wearing pants 1.2075 0.05143 106 90 10 6
757 I'm trying to balance my work/life routine! 1.2072 0.04267 111 90 19 2
758 No, you are swimming in my investment pool. 1.2072 0.04267 111 90 19 2
759 I’m training for the rat race triathalon 1.2072 0.04809 111 93 13 5
760 Move over to the next lane, can’t you see I’m busy?” 1.2069 0.04665 116 97 14 5
761 I’m tracking my liquid assets. 1.2069 0.04502 116 96 16 4
762 I've maximized my work output since I've been working from pool 1.2066 0.04218 121 99 19 3
763 I was hoping to take our walking meetings to the next level. 1.2066 0.03878 121 97 23 1
764 Last week I was totally underwater. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
765 I’m John and I’m here to renew your health club membership. 1.2063 0.04410 126 105 16 5
766 Well, I didn't want to be caught on Zoom wearing swim trunks. 1.2063 0.04552 126 106 14 6
767 I'm part of the typing pool. 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
768 Mr. Soggypants is my dad. Call me Wade. 1.2059 0.03780 136 110 24 2
769 I like to meet my clients where they are. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
770 Sure, Americans get 5 paid weeks holiday too. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
771 It's not easy being a Mer-man in today's economy. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
772 They told me I couldn't work from home. 1.2057 0.03701 141 114 25 2
773 In your own words, please tell me why you're most suited for this role out of this pool of candidates? 1.2056 0.05098 107 91 10 6
774 Got sick of working from home. 1.2056 0.05098 107 91 10 6
775 Our bank is committed to bringing our business to you. 1.2056 0.04922 107 90 12 5
776 Hey bud watch the splashing, some of us have work to do. 1.2054 0.04935 112 95 11 6
777 Yes, it's a hybrid position for me. 1.2054 0.04769 112 94 13 5
778 I'm figuring out the whole work/life balance thing. 1.2054 0.04597 112 93 15 4
779 Pooling the company’s resources doesn’t seem to be as effective as we thought. 1.2054 0.04769 112 94 13 5
780 One way to reduce the staff could be to pull the plug 1.2054 0.04935 112 95 11 6
781 I like working remote, but I miss hanging around the water cooler. 1.2051 0.04467 117 97 16 4
782 We’re not under water yet. 1.2051 0.04629 117 98 14 5
783 It's my first time in the office pool. 1.2051 0.04629 117 98 14 5
784 Look, I don't come to your workplace and ask you a ton of questions 1.2051 0.04937 117 100 10 7
785 What’s the problem? I’m in the secretary pool. 1.2051 0.04629 117 98 14 5
786 My office wants us to have work life balance without sacrificing the project load. 1.2051 0.04298 117 96 18 3
787 This is just the break I needed! 1.2049 0.04790 122 104 11 7
788 We can still work remotely but they reinstated the dress code 1.2049 0.04647 122 103 13 6
789 Your message did say, let's meet in the the pool and bring your lap top? 1.2049 0.04499 122 102 15 5
790 and …. did you have anything from the mini bar? 1.2049 0.04647 122 103 13 6
791 Excuse me but do you know the Wi-Fi password? 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
792 I have swim trunks on. Stop freaking out. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
793 We always meet the customer where they are… 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
794 My productivity has markedly increased because I can pee right here and keep working 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
795 My boss thinks this is a fake Zoom background. 1.2037 0.04880 108 91 12 5
796 Isn't 3 o'clock "adult laptops time" ? 1.2037 0.04511 108 89 16 3
797 The Polo Family does not give you permission to use his name or facsimile thereof. 1.2037 0.04511 108 89 16 3
798 We now use the gender-neutral term 'mer-person'. 1.2035 0.04730 113 95 13 5
799 On a scale of 1 to 10, how much pee do you think is in this pool? 1.2035 0.04560 113 94 15 4
800 You have to meet the client where they are” 1.2035 0.04894 113 96 11 6
801 I promised my cardiologist. 1.2034 0.04432 118 98 16 4
802 They call it ‘hybrid vacationing’ 1.2034 0.04265 118 97 18 3
803 I'm waterlogging in. 1.2030 0.04100 133 110 19 4
804 I'm trying to find out how to improve my stroke. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
805 I'm still looking for my pool password. 1.2028 0.03787 143 117 23 3
806 My hybrid work set-up is very fluid. 1.2021 0.05365 94 80 9 5
807 It's okay. I already put rice in it. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
808 I prefer to stay in my lane. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
809 Laugh all you want, but this entire vacation, as well as these pants, are now write-offs. 1.2019 0.04998 104 88 11 5
810 Crazy? No, why?? Because I’m not wearing socks? 1.2019 0.05359 104 90 7 7
811 The bathrooms in my building are out of service. 1.2018 0.04474 109 90 16 3
812 Free parking, free wifi, and lunch at the snack bar is less than five bucks. 1.2018 0.05011 109 93 10 6
813 I believe that your bathing suit is deductible. 1.2018 0.04349 114 94 17 3
814 You only qualify if you’re over 65, earn less than 50k and have your own swimming pool. 1.2018 0.04349 114 94 17 3
815 I don't have to stop work to go to the bathroom. 1.2018 0.04855 114 97 11 6
816 Yes, I am an American. How did you know? 1.2017 0.04711 119 101 12 6
817 I used to manage the pool remotely from that building over there. 1.2017 0.04061 119 97 20 2
818 Sorry, can’t talk… this is my downtime. 1.2017 0.04061 119 97 20 2
819 They said they would throw me in the deep end but it’s much shallower than I expected 1.2017 0.04233 119 98 18 3
820 You’ll have the cleanest audit ever. 1.2016 0.04282 124 103 17 4
821 Sorry to break it to you, but your investments are underwater. 1.2016 0.04856 124 107 9 8
822 I was told this was the “adult” swim time. 1.2016 0.04432 124 104 15 5
823 And has it been at least an hour since you ate lunch? 1.2016 0.04173 129 107 18 4
824 So the fertility doc said to keep 'em cool but I can't take off work right now. 1.2015 0.04208 134 112 17 5
825 My new boss keeps the thermostat at 82. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
826 Google confirms it’s wash and wear 1.2000 0.04423 130 110 14 6
827 It's an immersive training course. 1.2000 0.04954 105 89 11 5
828 Yes, I am the lifeguard. 1.2000 0.04766 105 88 13 4
829 I am relaxed. 1.2000 0.04364 105 86 17 2
830 It's not the most exciting job but I can work from anywhere. 1.2000 0.04364 105 86 17 2
831 Doesn't matter what I wear down below--I'm on Zoom. 1.2000 0.05312 95 81 9 5
832 Why? Because they kicked me out of the hot tub. That’s why. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
833 I needed a good background. 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
834 You can’t write it off as flood damage. 1.2000 0.04149 105 85 19 1
835 I'm an accountant. This is my bathing suit. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
836 My event is the 100 WPM keystroke. 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
837 I’m guessing you forgot you’d be on camera for your 2:00? 1.2000 0.04250 125 104 17 4
838 The job requires total immersion. 1.2000 0.04954 105 89 11 5
839 I'm getting lots of likes on my new background screen. 1.2000 0.05125 100 85 10 5
840 I know some people in the shallow end; let me put out a few feelers. 1.2000 0.04201 120 99 18 3
841 I was up to my neck with work before. Now I’m just wading for the weekend. 1.2000 0.04954 105 89 11 5
842 I thought this was the typing pool. 1.2000 0.04654 115 97 13 5
843 I miss the office camaraderie. 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
844 I still miss the steno pool. 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
845 The job market is competitive, but I pride myself on the professionalism I bring to this applicant pool. 1.2000 0.04654 115 97 13 5
846 I'll get right on that Mr. Musk. 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
847 They said work from home, but I'm most at home in the water. 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
848 See, nobody knows, because from here up I’m pretty dry 1.2000 0.04314 115 95 17 3
849 I call it billing and swimming 1.2000 0.04364 120 100 16 4
850 Forget Python, I'm programming in Marco Polo. 1.1984 0.03907 126 103 21 2
851 For Full Life you’ll need to undergo a physical 1.1983 0.04331 121 101 16 4
852 The boss told me to send an email from the office pool.” 1.1983 0.04487 121 102 14 5
853 I’m afraid all of your assets are underwater. 1.1983 0.04452 116 97 15 4
854 It’s called “paid time away” 1.1983 0.04452 116 97 15 4
855 Work-life balance is a process. 1.1982 0.04400 111 92 16 3
856 My boss told me to test the waters." 1.1982 0.03801 111 89 22 0
857 I’m about be in a zoom meeting. Can you get everyone to stop splashing? 1.1982 0.04582 111 93 14 4
858 The great thing about working remote is that you can leave your bathing shorts on even during video calls. 1.1982 0.04400 111 92 16 3
859 Hey can you watch my stuff while I go to the bathroom oh wait never mind I’m, um, yeah I’m good. 1.1982 0.05090 111 96 8 7
860 It’s my wife’s day to use the treadmill desk. 1.1982 0.04400 111 92 16 3
861 Zoom meating in 2minutes. 1.1982 0.04582 111 93 14 4
862 OK, you look like the answer to our lifeguard shortage! 1.1981 0.05090 106 91 9 6
863 We’re struggling to stay afloat. 1.1981 0.04327 106 87 17 2
864 I’m a project manager but my gig job is lifeguard 1.1981 0.04724 106 89 13 4
865 I've had to do all my own typing since they closed the secretarial pool. 1.1981 0.04327 106 87 17 2
866 Is the tie too much? 1.1981 0.04114 106 86 19 1
867 I’m in management training. Next week I have to walk ON water. 1.1981 0.05090 106 91 9 6
868 Oh, yes. I’m American. 1.1981 0.04114 106 86 19 1
869 Yeah, I’m trying to get out more 1.1981 0.04114 106 86 19 1
870 Our office is trying the new ‘Work-From-Vacation’ model. 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
871 Winning the Office Pool isn't all it's cracked up to be! 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
872 Thank god they havent banned “work from pool” yet 1.1979 0.05048 96 81 11 4
873 You definitely told that this survery would be immersive. 1.1967 0.04748 122 105 10 7
874 And have you thought about using annuities as part of your retirement planning? 1.1966 0.04581 117 99 13 5
875 It's a tutorial on work-life balance. 1.1966 0.04581 117 99 13 5
876 Lastly, how would you rate this survey? 5 being extremely awkward and intrusive, 4 very awkward and intrusive, 3 moderately awkward and intrusive, 2 slightly awkward and intrusive, or 1 not at all awkward and intrusive? 1.1966 0.04581 117 99 13 5
877 You may not think so but you’re in deep water 1.1964 0.04545 112 94 14 4
878 Actually, I'm on a deadline and I needed to pee. 1.1964 0.04718 112 95 12 5
879 I'm swimming in work. 1.1964 0.04545 112 94 14 4
880 It's true, you can't beat the freedom and flexibility of working remotely. 1.1964 0.04364 112 93 16 3
881 Sorry, I have this lane booked until 10:30. 1.1964 0.04545 112 94 14 4
882 Do you mind?! 1.1964 0.03979 112 91 20 1
883 The beach is just too sandy. 1.1963 0.04491 107 89 15 3
884 Pool Party Pooper. 1.1963 0.04290 107 88 17 2
885 I'm a professional swimmer. Answering emails is my hobby. 1.1963 0.04683 107 90 13 4
886 I like to get out of the office on the weekends. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
887 Some people do laps, some people do laptops. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
888 We’re putting together a pool of investors. 1.1961 0.05221 102 88 8 6
889 I have a zoom meeting 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
890 I miss the days when we had a dedicated typing pool. 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
891 Billable hours, am I right? 1.1961 0.05031 102 87 10 5
892 I’m just swimming in emails. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
893 There are laps and lap tops. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
894 I'm taking advantage of my company's "unlimited" PTO. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
895 The men's room was occupied. 1.1957 0.05182 92 78 10 4
896 My new boss told me to dive right in. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
897 Seems I won the office pool. 1.1953 0.03852 128 105 21 2
898 Drowning in debt? Let me help. 1.1951 0.04107 123 102 18 3
899 Just a quick email... 1.1949 0.04039 118 97 19 2
900 Do you mind. I am doing my finger aerobics. 1.1947 0.04846 113 97 10 6
901 I can get you a decent refund, and you can get me a towel. 1.1947 0.04680 113 96 12 5
902 Your health insurance doesn’t cover “shrinking”. 1.1947 0.04508 113 95 14 4
903 I’m not wearing shoes. That would be weird. 1.1947 0.04680 113 96 12 5
904 This is is the only spot I can get a decent Wi-Fi signal. 1.1947 0.04329 113 94 16 3
905 I was told to stay in my own lane. 1.1944 0.04643 108 91 13 4
906 No, maritime law. Why? 1.1942 0.04588 103 86 14 3
907 I'm almost ready for our deep dive. 1.1942 0.04376 103 85 16 2
908 Sorry dude, this is the remote work lane. 1.1942 0.04791 103 87 12 4
909 Never seen a guy wet his pants? 1.1942 0.04588 103 86 14 3
910 You think I’M underwater. 1.1942 0.04986 103 88 10 5
911 One way or another, I'm gonna make a big splash! 1.1942 0.04791 103 87 12 4
912 The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is now hiring consultants 1.1942 0.04153 103 84 18 1
913 No, you're not real. You're just part of my video meeting background. 1.1939 0.05361 98 85 7 6
914 I said your policy is in your trunk not your trunks! 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
915 A lot of my companies are underwater. 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
916 Don’t worry, I’m muted 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
917 And how long have you felt this way? 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
918 I love summer 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
919 Any idea what the Wi-Fi password is? 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
920 I love the smell of chlorine in the morning. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
921 With the new merger, I'm drowning. 1.1933 0.03826 119 97 21 1
922 I’m drowning in work but working from the shallow end really gives me the sense of control I’m looking for. 1.1933 0.04349 119 100 15 4
923 As long as I'm in the water 40 percent of the time, this counts as a home office. 1.1930 0.04642 114 97 12 5
924 The trick is to blur your background. 1.1930 0.04471 114 96 14 4
925 It's this or the office! 1.1930 0.04109 114 94 18 2
926 If you must know, it's called a bathing suit suit. 1.1927 0.04604 109 92 13 4
927 Have you got a synonym for vacation? 1.1927 0.04604 109 92 13 4
928 Hey! You do your thing and I'll do mine. 1.1927 0.04013 109 89 19 1
929 Could you ask the lifeguard for the WiFi password? 1.1927 0.04785 109 93 11 5
930 It’s called a Keystroke 1.1923 0.04117 104 85 18 1
931 I'm advising we liquidate. 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
932 It just seems like we have different definitions of “fun” 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
933 It’s too hard to type in the deep end 1.1919 0.05310 99 86 7 6
934 My wife said I should take part in the office pool 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
935 I know I said I’d be happy to come to you but… 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
936 Being in the pool means I'm technically not a workaholic. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
937 Because of global warming, the standing in water desk is the wave of the future.” 1.1913 0.04260 115 96 16 3
938 I call it "multi-basking." 1.1913 0.04260 115 96 16 3
939 Yes, I go through a lot of computers, and pants 1.1913 0.04767 115 99 10 6
940 Your rectal exam was normal and you can put you bathing suit back on now. 1.1913 0.04435 115 97 14 4
941 This also counts as my bathroom break. 1.1913 0.04767 115 99 10 6
942 I’m multitasking. I’m also the lifeguard. 1.1913 0.03885 115 94 20 1
943 I’m trying to stand out in the candidate pool. 1.1913 0.04435 115 97 14 4
944 You're right, usually we don't take on office jobs, but the mer-kids need braces. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
945 The person at the front desk told me pool was a ‘hot spot.’ 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
946 Summer Fridays just aren't what they used to be. 1.1909 0.04379 110 92 15 3
947 They won’t let me wear my speedo in the office. 1.1909 0.04745 110 94 11 5
948 Don’t you know? Working from home is not a thing anymore. 1.1909 0.04745 110 94 11 5
949 Is it backspace or backstroke? 1.1908 0.04213 131 111 15 5
950 I’m sorry. The bathroom was locked. 1.1905 0.04300 105 87 16 2
951 What's the wifi password here? 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
952 I'm trying to create a realistic splash page. 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
953 No, it works out great. Everyone at work just thinks it’s a virtual background. 1.1905 0.04897 105 90 10 5
954 My boss said I can work 2 days from home Saturday & Sunday 1.1905 0.05081 105 91 8 6
955 My firm still hasn’t fully committed to casual Fridays 1.1905 0.04173 126 106 16 4
956 I’m in liquid asset management. 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
957 Would you mind watching this while I do a cannonball? 1.1901 0.04440 121 103 13 5
958 We are committed to meet anywhere for your convenience. 1.1900 0.03943 100 81 19 0
959 The pool of applicants is shallower than I thought. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
960 Your password, please" 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
961 Sir, I have an opening in lane 6 at 2:15. Are you a member of our rewards program? 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
962 I'm getting my laps in too. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
963 Do you know how to do the keystroke? 1.1897 0.04045 116 96 18 2
964 I'm drowning in work 1.1897 0.03855 116 95 20 1
965 Work life balance 1.1897 0.04226 116 97 16 3
966 I write off the pool as a business expense 1.1897 0.04226 116 97 16 3
967 Who farted? 1.1897 0.04567 116 99 12 5
968 On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog paddler. 1.1897 0.04400 116 98 14 4
969 Not everyone gets a summer vacation. 1.1897 0.04045 116 96 18 2
970 100 yards! I mean, you can't beat the commute. 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
971 You maybe swimming in debt but your not underwater. 1.1895 0.05247 95 82 8 5
972 I'm the Swim-Up Barrister. 1.1892 0.04343 111 93 15 3
973 Thought I’d see what this work-life balance thing is all about 1.1892 0.04150 111 92 17 2
974 Does the water feel warmer next to me? 1.1892 0.04343 111 93 15 3
975 Why do they always schedule our annual pool party on the last day of the fiscal year? 1.1892 0.04705 111 95 11 5
976 You know, you can really work from anywhere these days. 1.1892 0.04150 111 92 17 2
977 Do you mind? This is highly classified. 1.1892 0.05041 111 97 7 7
978 We are still working out our hybrid policy. 1.1892 0.04527 111 94 13 4
979 Hey, it beats drowning in work. 1.1892 0.04705 111 95 11 5
980 I’m just gonna send this one off quickly, it’s Jim right? 1.1892 0.04527 111 94 13 4
981 During your stay with us, have you experienced any annoyances we should know about? 1.1890 0.04434 127 109 12 6
982 I understand you’re working out of office, but we’re questioning pool membership as a business expense . 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
983 ...and, do you perform flip turns all the time, very often, some times, not very often, or never? 1.1889 0.05450 90 78 7 5
984 Good thing your assets are liquid. 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
985 My office has a no-swimsuit policy. 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
986 To sink or to swim is a false choice! 1.1887 0.04854 106 91 10 5
987 Unlike your typical lifeguard, I'm not just a piece of meat. 1.1885 0.04558 122 105 11 6
988 Let’s take it offline and circle back, Jim. 1.1885 0.04250 122 103 15 4
989 Nothing. What’s wrong with you? 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
990 I'm not going away until you buy some life insurance. 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
991 It still beats commuting. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
992 I'm testing the webcam. Babe in one-piece heading due east. 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
993 Yes,it's a bathing suit,I just forgot the jacket. 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
994 Harold didn’t quite understand the concept of work-life balance. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
995 Did you know that your Car Warranty is about to expire? 1.1881 0.05017 101 87 9 5
996 It can get uncomfortable in the winter 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
997 No, it's not unusual. It's just an example of the lengths we go to for our clients 1.1880 0.04365 117 99 14 4
998 I’m trying to have a better work-life balance. 1.1880 0.04531 117 100 12 5
999 My office is where I am. 1.1880 0.04193 117 98 16 3
1000 Who says men can't multitask? 1.1875 0.04519 96 80 14 2
1001 My new job gave me a Work From Pool option. 1.1875 0.05403 96 84 6 6
1002 Bevause I have cellulite 1.1875 0.04666 112 96 11 5
1003 Yeah, but nowadays you can blur the background. 1.1875 0.04307 112 94 15 3
1004 Actually, my shoes *are* waterproof. 1.1875 0.04307 112 94 15 3
1005 No, we don’t accept walk-ins. 1.1875 0.04307 112 94 15 3
1006 Summers are half-days. 1.1875 0.04270 96 79 16 1
1007 This is the only place my wifi works. 1.1875 0.04999 112 98 7 7
1008 Since the pandemic, I can work from anywhere. 1.1870 0.04218 123 104 15 4
1009 I started my career in the secretarial pool. 1.1870 0.04373 123 105 13 5
1010 Oh, fuck! 1.1870 0.04809 123 108 7 8
1011 When you love your work, every day's a vacation. 1.1869 0.04625 107 91 12 4
1012 You mean this isn’t the typing pool? 1.1869 0.04812 107 92 10 5
1013 It’s just a first round interview 1.1869 0.04227 107 89 16 2
1014 I see you have liquidity issues in your portfolio 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
1015 The tie keeps me focused 1.1868 0.04108 91 74 17 0
1016 RE: MARCO As per my previous e-mail, POLO. 1.1868 0.05162 91 78 9 4
1017 The recruiter said I would be joining an elite talent pool." 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
1018 Lap, laptop. Same difference. 1.1864 0.04161 118 99 16 3
1019 Good morning, Ron. 1.1864 0.04161 118 99 16 3
1020 Very apt metaphor Fred. Your stocks were doing swimmingly, now largely under water. 1.1864 0.04161 118 99 16 3
1021 Why can't I surf in the pool? 1.1864 0.04495 118 101 12 5
1022 I was just assigned to the clerical pool. 1.1864 0.04331 118 100 14 4
1023 How many times do I have to tell you, my name is not MARCO! 1.1864 0.04161 118 99 16 3
1024 Fuck, I forgot to attach the files again, gimme a minute 1.1864 0.04161 118 99 16 3
1025 I wasn't getting enough attention working in a coffee shop. 1.1863 0.04772 102 87 11 4
1026 My employer sold the office during the pandemic, and I don’t like to work from home. So here I am. 1.1863 0.04346 102 85 15 2
1027 Why? Because this is where the jet is. 1.1863 0.04346 102 85 15 2
1028 Nothing much. Just relaxing at the pool on vacation. 1.1863 0.04971 102 88 9 5
1029 I'm here to improve my liquidity ratio. 1.1863 0.04772 102 87 11 4
1030 What do you mean 'what do I do'? 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
1031 Yeah, I really needed this vacation. Btw, how'd you know I'm American? 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
1032 I just need 10 minutes of your time for this survey. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
1033 Is there an outlet over there? 1.1858 0.04795 113 98 9 6
1034 The tropical scene on my Zoom background malfunctioned. 1.1858 0.04627 113 97 11 5
1035 Hmm. A customized massage life guard chair is a fair request, when can you start. 1.1858 0.03885 113 93 19 1
1036 You think this is bad; try the secretarial pool. 1.1858 0.04795 113 98 9 6
1037 It was either this or lose the vacation days. 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
1038 I'm working from pool. 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
1039 I was hired as a floater but I’m hoping something higher opens soon 1.1856 0.04933 97 83 10 4
1040 Oh, it's the adult diaper that I'm examining. But the laptop is waterproof too. 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
1041 Beats going into the office. 1.1856 0.03968 97 79 18 0
1042 The office pool was empty. 1.1856 0.04933 97 83 10 4
1043 I'm the new director of work-life balance." 1.1856 0.04933 97 83 10 4
1044 I’m sorry sir, you can’t claim friends and neighbors in your pool as dependents, even during this heatwave. 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
1045 I’m technically working from home. 1.1856 0.04933 97 83 10 4
1046 It’s better on your knees than a traditional standing desk 1.1856 0.03968 97 79 18 0
1047 It's all a part of my dullness. 1.1852 0.04948 108 94 8 6
1048 I'm the field tester for the Bomborg Waterproof Tie Company. 1.1852 0.04585 108 92 12 4
1049 I took a real bath in the stock market, but I think I’ll make a splash with commodities. 1.1852 0.04191 108 90 16 2
1050 You don’t win Salesman of the Year sitting behind a desk you know. 1.1852 0.04585 108 92 12 4
1051 I'm sorry sir, was that MARCO with a "C" or MARKO with a "K? 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
1052 When you asked me to take a deep dive into your finances, this wasn't what I was expecting. 1.1852 0.06114 81 72 3 6
1053 Sure beats the car pool. 1.1852 0.04585 108 92 12 4
1054 This way I’ll be ready when ocean levels rise. 1.1852 0.03755 108 88 20 0
1055 I don’t feel the weight of work here. 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
1056 HR required me to take a vacation. 1.1849 0.04128 119 100 16 3
1057 How likely are you to recommend this pool to a friend? 1.1849 0.04460 119 102 12 5
1058 As your legal counsel, I advise you to avoid the deep end at all costs. 1.1848 0.04069 92 75 17 0
1059 So, can I count on you for the time-share presentation at 5pm? 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
1060 Snd finally, Sir, would you rate your overall pool experience today as "Excellent", "Above Expectations", "Satisfactory", "Below Expectations", or "Poor"? 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
1061 Excuse me sir, would you like to update your swimsuit warrantee. 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
1062 Wading is the new standing. 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
1063 I’m remote vactioning. 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
1064 I promised my wife I would relax while on vacation but I also promised my boss I would be on this last zoom call so I’m googling how to do the backstroke while waiting for everyone to get into the chat room. Thanks for asking. How’s your day going? 1.1845 0.04729 103 88 11 4
1065 You’re swimming in debt, Bill 1.1845 0.03840 103 84 19 0
1066 They gave us a floating holiday 1.1845 0.04729 103 88 11 4
1067 I'm an electrical engineer doing research on the conductivity of stupidity. 1.1842 0.04238 114 96 15 3
1068 I'm accused of not knowing how to relax. 1.1842 0.04417 114 97 13 4
1069 I'm in the process of liquidating my assets." 1.1842 0.04589 114 98 11 5
1070 My business is going under. 1.1840 0.04156 125 106 15 4
1071 We've narrowed the applicant pool to you and few others. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
1072 Double trouble. You're underwater and under audit. 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
1073 Office AC is not working. 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
1074 It's OK, my boss can't see that I'm wearing sweatpants" 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
1075 I’ve been told my prose is too dry. 1.1837 0.05299 98 86 6 6
1076 Sorry, I don't discuss work on vacation. 1.1837 0.04886 98 84 10 4
1077 At least they dropped the mask mandates 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
1078 OMG look, he's connected . . . "Hey, could you check my email?" 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
1079 This way I don't need to clock out for bathroom breaks. 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
1080 Everything is so fluid. 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
1081 #workfromhome 1.1835 0.04355 109 92 14 3
1082 I can’t swim. 1.1835 0.04156 109 91 16 2
1083 I reserved this lane for the next nine hours. 1.1835 0.04156 109 91 16 2
1084 Would you mind? I have a Zoom meeting. 1.1835 0.04546 109 93 12 4
1085 Well my company said I wasn't allowed to work from home anymore 1.1835 0.04546 109 93 12 4
1086 We've had complaints about splashing.” 1.1835 0.04906 109 95 8 6
1087 I need to pause the presentation for a second…Polo! 1.1835 0.04156 109 91 16 2
1088 I thought the Swiss were neutral! 1.1833 0.04731 120 105 8 7
1089 My Dr. said I needed to get in the pool for at least 50 minutes a day. 1.1833 0.04731 120 105 8 7
1090 Suns_out_buns_out isn’t the password, sir. Can we go back to the office now? 1.1833 0.04264 120 102 14 4
1091 I told them it's a fake background. 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
1092 I understand why WeWork had to change its business model, but this is ridiculous... 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
1093 I just told them it was a background. 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
1094 Well, how do*you* do the backstroke? 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
1095 These are the rules. I didn't make them. 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
1096 Practiced the backstroke yesterday. Working on my keystroke today”. 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
1097 Desk jobs are for suckers! 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
1098 If only there was a water or drowning metaphor I could use in this email. 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
1099 No, sir, I am definitely not going off the deep end. 1.1827 0.04270 104 87 15 2
1100 Sorry. This is the carpool lane. 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
1101 As long as my boss thinks I am working, I can do it from anywhere. 1.1827 0.04687 104 89 11 4
1102 It's okay, I'm just part time. 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
1103 Just keeping the business afloat. 1.1827 0.04687 104 89 11 4
1104 Not bad. Just don't swallow. 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
1105 Could've been an email 1.1818 0.04319 110 93 14 3
1106 Thirty seven hours . . . five more and I’ll be in the Guinness Book of World Records. 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
1107 I didn't account for shrinkage. 1.1818 0.03896 99 81 18 0
1108 I’m working remotely. 1.1818 0.03711 121 100 20 1
1109 These days, I prefer wading the web. 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
1110 I couldn't decide if I should go to the office or work at home today. 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
1111 Yeah my job is remote, but I still like to dress like I'm going in. 1.1818 0.04689 110 95 10 5
1112 If my calculations are correct, then Marco is right over - THERE! 1.1818 0.04840 99 85 10 4
1113 You are right on that one; your mortgage is underwater. 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
1114 Well, at the beach it gets sand on it. 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
1115 I’m studying the effects of chlorine on polyester. 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
1116 Do you have a charger by chance? 1.1818 0.05048 99 86 8 5
1117 I'm the pool reporter from the Associated Press. 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
1118 This is the only place I can get a signal. 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
1119 Remote work has been a life-saver for me! 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
1120 People might say ‘it’s weird’ but someday what I’m doing will be featured in The New Yorker… you’ll see. You all see. 1.1818 0.05249 99 87 6 6
1121 Welcome to the typing pool. 1.1810 0.03986 116 97 17 2
1122 My boss said I didn't know how to relax and to go take some time off. 1.1810 0.03986 116 97 17 2
1123 We found this to be more effective than robocalling. 1.1810 0.04170 116 98 15 3
1124 Stay in your lane. 1.1810 0.04010 105 87 17 1
1125 Technically I'm retired, but I like to keep my feet wet. 1.1810 0.04232 105 88 15 2
1126 They think it's my Zoom background. 1.1809 0.05231 94 82 7 5
1127 We're not saying swimming is dangerous. On the other hand, actuarially there's this number to consider. 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
1128 It’s my day with the kids. I believe in equality. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
1129 I was just hired here and they told me to dive right in! 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
1130 Actually, I'm practicing my key stroke. 1.1809 0.03991 94 77 17 0
1131 The 'swim-up' desk is supposed to be great for productivity. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
1132 The actuarial tables say that at your pace, you need to keep swimming for another 400 years to counteract all the cheeseburgers. 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
1133 I’ve set my auto-reply to say that I’m swimming in work and will resurface next Monday. 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
1134 Well, they said I could work from anywhere 1.1803 0.03863 122 102 18 2
1135 Yes,we are hiring but the talent pool is shallow! 1.1802 0.04989 111 98 6 7
1136 I find this makes it easier to wade into the numbers. 1.1802 0.04283 111 94 14 3
1137 Sorry, I’m just swimming in emails today. 1.1802 0.04470 111 95 12 4
1138 If you could all stop swimming and make office noises during my presentation, that would be great 1.1802 0.04823 111 97 8 6
1139 I just can’t commit. 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
1140 Now, let’s discuss flood insurance. 1.1800 0.04579 100 85 12 3
1141 I don't have time to take a bathroom break. 1.1800 0.04579 100 85 12 3
1142 I'm not a Speedo kind of guy. 1.1800 0.04115 100 83 16 1
1143 The doc recommended hydro therapy for my carpal tunnel syndrome. 1.1800 0.04795 100 86 10 4
1144 Sorry if I’m in your lap lane, my wi fi was disconnected. 1.1800 0.04795 100 86 10 4
1145 Mark always had a hard time leaving work at work. 1.1800 0.04795 100 86 10 4
1146 I try to have fun. 1.1800 0.04115 100 83 16 1
1147 the treadmill desks were all taken. 1.1800 0.04579 100 85 12 3
1148 It still beats working from home. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
1149 I just started a new job, it’s really sink or swim. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
1150 At this point, why do you care? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
1151 I need ten pool noodles, two pairs of floaties, and a rubber duck on my desk by noon. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
1152 Let's discuss your liquidity risk. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
1153 JUST GIVE ME ANOTHER MINUTE. . . . 1.1797 0.03751 128 107 19 2
1154 The hotel's free Wi-Fi is better here. 1.1795 0.04797 117 103 7 7
1155 I feel like the work from anywhere culture has gone a little too far. 1.1795 0.04312 117 100 13 4
1156 I need the shirt and tie for work, but the backdrop of the water makes all my colleagues jealous. 1.1792 0.04405 106 90 13 3
1157 It's a zoom meeting. My swim suit is below the camera. My background is a bookshelf scene and the sound is off. 1.1792 0.04405 106 90 13 3
1158 What brings you in today? 1.1792 0.04196 106 89 15 2
1159 You're right, Mr President. They wouldn't think of looking for documents in here. 1.1792 0.04795 106 92 9 5
1160 We make sure you don't get in over your head 1.1792 0.04604 106 91 11 4
1161 Ooh that's good, yeah! This will win me the caption contest for sure. 1.1792 0.04604 106 91 11 4
1162 All the stalls are full. 1.1792 0.04604 106 91 11 4
1163 If you say anything Frank, you're fired. 1.1789 0.05180 95 83 7 5
1164 My wife and kids wanted to go to Cancun, but I heard the water is warmer here. 1.1789 0.04728 95 81 11 3
1165 I’m up to 100 strokes per minute. 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
1166 I warned you up front what it would look like if you asked for an extension on your taxes. 1.1789 0.04227 95 79 15 1
1167 And your date of birth is? 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
1168 When was the last time you immersed yourself in work? 1.1789 0.04227 95 79 15 1
1169 I am showing my wife that I'm not as much of a workaholic as she says I am! 1.1786 0.04433 112 96 12 4
1170 Your the fourth person to ask. No, I am not here to swim 1.1786 0.05399 84 73 7 4
1171 This way I never have to leave the office to go to the bathroom. 1.1786 0.04433 112 96 12 4
1172 I’m the pool reporter. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
1173 Because in my last job they said I was in over my head. 1.1786 0.04611 112 97 10 5
1174 I’m doing research for a New Yorker piece on immersive experiences. 1.1786 0.04247 112 95 14 3
1175 This absolutely is a swimsuit. 1.1786 0.04247 112 95 14 3
1176 I am working in the deep end. 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
1177 My boss said I had to eliminate bathroom breaks. 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
1178 I’ll have you know, this counts as cardio. 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
1179 Is that 'laps' or 'lapse'? 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
1180 And you said you wanted your portfolio to have more liquidity. 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
1181 A Working Vacation 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
1182 Well, not all of us can get a cushy corner office. 1.1778 0.05139 90 78 8 4
1183 Team meeting in 15 minutes? 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
1184 The cafe doesn't have a restroom. 1.1778 0.05139 90 78 8 4
1185 Our agency takes the concept of data pooling one step further. 1.1776 0.04160 107 90 15 2
1186 I'm writing opinions dripping with sarcasm. 1.1776 0.04160 107 90 15 2
1187 I was a two-time All-American in the keystroke. 1.1776 0.04160 107 90 15 2
1188 The WiFi is better from here 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
1189 Can you dive for my mouse? 1.1776 0.04753 107 93 9 5
1190 Did you know that every 2 seconds someone in the world drowns without life insurance? 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
1191 I've put in a transfer for the hot tub. 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
1192 Not a productive workspace, you say? Tell me this: how many times have you seen me get up to use the bathroom? 1.1772 0.05628 79 69 6 4
1193 I’m on my third laptop this week 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
1194 Your not in deep water......yet 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
1195 We're only partly underwater. 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
1196 I’m deciding from a pool of applicants. 1.1771 0.05129 96 84 7 5
1197 I'm not quite ready to come out to my clients as a transgender mermaid. 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
1198 I'm not trying to make you feel unproductive. 1.1770 0.04572 113 98 10 5
1199 The standing desk was hurting my knees. 1.1770 0.04572 113 98 10 5
1200 Couldn't we have done this with an e-mail? 1.1770 0.04021 113 95 16 2
1201 Vacations are for the dispensable . 1.1770 0.04396 113 97 12 4
1202 It's my answer to the typing pool. 1.1770 0.04396 113 97 12 4
1203 You were correct sir. The chlorine levels do seem slightly off. 1.1770 0.04021 113 95 16 2
1204 With a personal liability policy you can go in the deep end. 1.1765 0.04707 102 88 10 4
1205 Have you not heard of multi-tasking? 1.1765 0.04707 102 88 10 4
1206 Hybrid Holidays am I right?" 1.1765 0.04041 102 85 16 1
1207 You’re doing laps and I’m on my laptop. What’s the problem? 1.1765 0.04909 102 89 8 5
1208 We've been trying to reach you regarding your car's extended warranty. 1.1765 0.05103 102 90 6 6
1209 They said I would be working in the office pool 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
1210 Boss said get your feet wet on this one. I like to exceed expectations. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
1211 I’m here to talk to you about your car’s extended warranty. 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
1212 I immerse myself in everything that I do 1.1765 0.04244 119 102 13 4
1213 No, I’m not worried. It’s a wetsuit. 1.1759 0.04712 108 94 9 5
1214 Looks like the market’s taking a dip. 1.1759 0.04525 108 93 11 4
1215 My boss said I should stay in the shallow end of the pool. 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
1216 Have you inhaled too much chlorine fumes at a public pool? You may be entitled to compensation. 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
1217 My feet get hot. 1.1758 0.05086 91 79 8 4
1218 Well,as a matter of a fact,I am wearing a suit." 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
1219 I’m still trying to get the hang of hybrid work. 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
1220 Could you tell your mom that we had fun? 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
1221 The company wishes me to inform you that implicit in the concept of working from home are the notions that you are actually home, and are working… 1.1753 0.04637 97 83 11 3
1222 My business is sinking so my accounts are under water. 1.1753 0.04148 97 81 15 1
1223 I guess typing pools were before your time. 1.1753 0.04863 97 84 9 4
1224 I thought a trip to the pool would help me get over my workaholic tendencies. 1.1753 0.04637 97 83 11 3
1225 Remote working allows me to take vacations whenever I want. 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
1226 Alright, everybody on? Let’s dive in. 1.1753 0.04637 97 83 11 3
1227 Sir, we are asking patrons to rate their swim. From 1 to 10, how was the chlorine level? 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
1228 My crawl was too slow, my breast stroke gave me trouble, so now I'm practicing key strokes. 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
1229 Do you have the WiFi password? 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
1230 They told me that if I worked remotely I'd really have to dive in to my projects. 1.1748 0.04236 103 87 14 2
1231 Because the IRS has gone remote, too, Mr. Jones. Now, about those deductions ... 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
1232 I see they have literally replaced the typing pool. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
1233 I AM on vacation. I'm not wearing any underwear. 1.1748 0.04664 103 89 10 4
1234 I thought the office pool was for lotto tickets when I agreed to join. 1.1748 0.03760 103 85 18 0
1235 I'm wading for my meeting to start. 1.1748 0.04664 103 89 10 4
1236 No bathroom breaks on deadline. 1.1748 0.04236 103 87 14 2
1237 There’s a line for the bathroom. 1.1748 0.04236 103 87 14 2
1238 Just because I’m on vacation, doesn’t mean I don’t have work to do. Hashtag grind. 1.1748 0.04005 103 86 16 1
1239 I’m up to my ass in alligators 1.1748 0.04664 103 89 10 4
1240 Of course, I still blur my zoom background. 1.1748 0.04664 103 89 10 4
1241 Looks like Marco is OOO. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
1242 I’m waiting for my carpool. 1.1748 0.04664 103 89 10 4
1243 I strive for a balanced lifestyle. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
1244 I was mistaken. You're not in over your head. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
1245 Close to a vacation as I can get. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
1246 Actually, this is an improvement. Last quarter the company was under water. 1.1743 0.04292 109 93 13 3
1247 I'm working on my finger stroke". 1.1743 0.03876 109 91 17 1
1248 How do you spell electrocution? 1.1743 0.04486 109 94 11 4
1249 No worries, this is actually a wet suit. 1.1743 0.04090 109 92 15 2
1250 The recreation boss said I could work away from home if I did something about my incontinence 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1251 OK, Ned, now you can deduct your pool as a home office space. 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
1252 In hindsight, yeah maybe I shouldn't have been watching Bangbus videos at work, but what's done is done, and I'm not getting out of this pool until my dick relaxes. 1.1739 0.05034 92 80 8 4
1253 Sorry I can’t chat — I’m really underwater right now. 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
1254 Sales always takes a dip in the third quarter. 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
1255 Do you happen to know anything about virtual backgrounds? 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
1256 And if you order in the next two minutes, I'll throw in the butterfly lessons for free. 1.1739 0.03956 115 97 16 2
1257 Aqua Digital Nomad 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
1258 No, no, no. I'm CHAD GPT. 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
1259 You refresh your way, I'll refresh mine. 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
1260 They are waterproof, thanks. 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
1261 At Least they didn't throw me into the deep end to start. 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
1262 It’s a lot quieter than working from home." 1.1735 0.04816 98 85 9 4
1263 I find I get more done during adult swim. 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
1264 You're swimming in debt, but we can pool your assets and make them liquid. 1.1735 0.04816 98 85 9 4
1265 I'm synchronizing the swimming. 1.1731 0.03970 104 87 16 1
1266 When the Agency said I'd be doing "wet work" I never imagined they meant this! 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
1267 Summer FOMO 1.1731 0.03970 104 87 16 1
1268 To be honest, this project has me feeling a little out of my depth. 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
1269 My boss said my writing is a little dry. 1.1731 0.05010 104 92 6 6
1270 At the end of the day we all are just trying to stay above water aren’t we 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
1271 My boss said this data requires some experiential learning- I'm experiencing something 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
1272 Eventually I'll work my way up to swimming with the sharks. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
1273 The boss said we are barely staying afloat. 1.1727 0.04256 110 94 13 3
1274 Can I interest you in a floating-rate mortgage? 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
1275 Wait. So this isn’t the applicant pool? 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
1276 Hello! Working with electronics here. 1.1720 0.04983 93 81 8 4
1277 The new work -life balance. 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
1278 It's safer here than in the IT room. 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
1279 CPA’s do NOT know CPR!! 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
1280 The dress code just said "suit", I assumed they meant business 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
1281 Combining my work and my hobby was the smartest decision i ever made. 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
1282 Well, it's a LAPtop, isn't it? 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
1283 I like to keep a work life balance 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
1284 Does this suit make me look fat 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
1285 On a scale from 1 to 10,would you say you more likely or less likely to return to the workplace? 1.1717 0.04982 99 87 7 5
1286 Besides the club membership, are there other liquid assets? 1.1717 0.04317 99 84 13 2
1287 You, my corpulent friend, are wasting time — literally wallowing the day away. I am, on the other hand, billing for my legal services at a ridiculously high rate while cooling my junk and keeping my nether regions nice and moist. 1.1717 0.04771 99 86 9 4
1288 So Mr. Smith,because of the other swimmers,you can only deduct half of the pool from your taxes. 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
1289 I got tired having to move every time I need to pee. 1.1714 0.04965 105 93 6 6
1290 Pool maintenance falls under I.T. now. 1.1714 0.04376 105 90 12 3
1291 As a matter of fact, I am from the shallow end of the gene pool 1.1714 0.04376 105 90 12 3
1292 Hunny, can you help me shut the webcam off before my 2pm? 1.1714 0.04376 105 90 12 3
1293 I'm working a hybrid schedule: MWF in the pool, and TTH in the jacuzzi. 1.1714 0.04777 105 92 8 5
1294 My company instituted a return-to-office policy...I'm transitioning. 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
1295 Wetwork 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
1296 It’s Monday Charlie. A work day, remember? 1.1714 0.03936 105 88 16 1
1297 I finally got off the corporate treadmill. 1.1714 0.03936 105 88 16 1
1298 I can't get anything done at home. 1.1714 0.04777 105 92 8 5
1299 Our ‘Summer Fridays’ policy at our office is a bit rigid. 1.1714 0.04376 105 90 12 3
1300 My wife said I should relax and not work so much. This was our compromise. 1.1712 0.04220 111 95 13 3
1301 I'm sorry the water is warm, but my boss just emailed in all caps. 1.1712 0.03813 111 93 17 1
1302 It’s 9 am somewhere! 1.1712 0.03813 111 93 17 1
1303 This move is called the keystroke 1.1712 0.03813 111 93 17 1
1304 You're also deep in debt. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
1305 You can claim the backstroke, but the cannonballs off the high board are in your own time. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
1306 The new hires are over in the deep end. 1.1705 0.05167 88 77 7 4
1307 I’m on working vacation. Why? 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
1308 No, the peeing section is on the other side. 1.1705 0.05167 88 77 7 4
1309 My clients assume it’s a filter. 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
1310 Working poolside is overrated. 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
1311 Why? Well the jet is right here. 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
1312 Your swim pass please 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
1313 I couldn't find the men's room 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
1314 It’s a hybrid model. 50/50. 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
1315 The WiFi here is fantastic. 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
1316 I write such hot emails I need to chill! 1.1702 0.04933 94 82 8 4
1317 Despite many odds, life still goes on 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
1318 Listen, Dan. I'd love to circle back on this but I forgot my floaties, my charger, and hosently Dan, I'm just trying to keep my head above water here 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
1319 I asked for a raise, but they generously gave me 3 ‘work from the pool’ days instead. 1.1702 0.04933 94 82 8 4
1320 My office has a strict dress code for working from home. 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
1321 It’s a video interview for the open Head Lifeguard position 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
1322 This new "work from pool" option sounded better in the email. 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
1323 So, on a scale of 1 to 5 with 5 being highly like and 1 being not at all, how likely are you to recommend this pool to someone you know? 1.1700 0.04726 100 87 9 4
1324 The Park District's return to the office policy is strict. 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
1325 I prefer to go to the pool; the office is rather dry. 1.1700 0.04507 100 86 11 3
1326 Casual Friday is tomorrow. 1.1700 0.04726 100 87 9 4
1327 The lap-lane was full. 1.1700 0.04277 100 85 13 2
1328 We always like to verify the liquid assets of our clients. 1.1700 0.04507 100 86 11 3
1329 There’s a very talented pool of candidates for this job. 1.1700 0.04726 100 87 9 4
1330 Keeping it cool 1.1700 0.04507 100 86 11 3
1331 This lane is reserved for platinum members. 1.1698 0.04126 106 90 14 2
1332 So how long have you been teaching swimming online? 1.1698 0.04734 106 93 8 5
1333 No need for bathroom breaks 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
1334 I'm trying to make a splash in the industry. 1.1698 0.03664 106 88 18 0
1335 It's a biography of Michael Phelps. 1.1698 0.03902 106 89 16 1
1336 I'm writing an article about water sports. 1.1698 0.04734 106 93 8 5
1337 From 4:00-5:00 is Business Swim. 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
1338 I just took a half day of vacation. 1.1698 0.04126 106 90 14 2
1339 I'm figuring the laps I need to equate to my steps to get to 10,000. 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
1340 Virtual backgrounds are getting so realistic. 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
1341 Do you have a charger I can borrow? 1.1696 0.04373 112 97 11 4
1342 I am taking it easy. Can't you see that I'm not wearing my suit jacket? 1.1695 0.04047 118 101 14 3
1343 It's my work-life balance. 1.1695 0.04047 118 101 14 3
1344 Since you’re in the shallow end of the gene pool, this is the best insurance rate I can offer you. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
1345 And the higher price for the waterproof model has certainly been worth every penny. 1.1687 0.05372 83 73 6 4
1346 Maybe working remotely is overrated?! 1.1685 0.05113 89 78 7 4
1347 To be fair, they said I could work from anywhere. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
1348 No, it's a fully remote job- but they did keep the dress code. 1.1684 0.04884 95 83 8 4
1349 And how do you deal with global warming? 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
1350 Brand new. I'm calling it a "water-blog." 1.1684 0.04650 95 82 10 3
1351 Different strokes for different folks I guess. 1.1684 0.04884 95 83 8 4
1352 I actually booked this lane until 11... 1.1684 0.04650 95 82 10 3
1353 is any one else's internet not working? 1.1684 0.04650 95 82 10 3
1354 Yeah,we only get two work from home days now. 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
1355 This isn't the typing pool! 1.1683 0.04682 101 88 9 4
1356 Yeah, I am new here. Am gradually getting with the swim of things . 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
1357 That’s alright. I don’t play golf either. 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
1358 I'm joining the office pool 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
1359 They said I could work remote from anywhere, I just have to keep it professional. 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
1360 Technically, we get unlimited PTO, but you know what that means. 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
1361 Of course I can leave work behind when I’m on vacation 1.1683 0.03997 101 85 15 1
1362 I am training to swim with sharks. 1.1682 0.04500 107 93 10 4
1363 Yeh, I just don’t feel right taking Juneteenth off. 1.1682 0.03868 107 90 16 1
1364 Sir, we tried contacting you several times about your warranty now if I could just get your… 1.1682 0.04090 107 91 14 2
1365 This way I can write off my pool membership as a work expense. 1.1681 0.04337 113 98 11 4
1366 Working at the beach clogs up the keyboard with sand. 1.1681 0.04151 113 97 13 3
1367 I used to do my best work in the bathroom until he took it over for the top secrets. 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
1368 The New Yorker hasn't been the same since they moved their office to Stamford 1.1667 0.04651 108 95 8 5
1369 Summer's going great so far - why do you ask? 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
1370 I was tired of working from home ... and also tired of working in the office. 1.1667 0.04837 96 84 8 4
1371 Your application has been submitted. 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
1372 It also cuts down on bathroom breaks. 1.1667 0.04478 114 100 9 5
1373 Oh, about 90 words a minute — 80 if I’m in the midst of playing Marco Polo. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
1374 It’s called a bathing suit, the tie was optional. 1.1667 0.04321 120 105 10 5
1375 Would you happen to have a cell phone on you that I could borrow? 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
1376 So I said, "What if I don't want a standing desk?" 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
1377 I'm just treading water until I can find another job. 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
1378 According to my calculations you are in over your head 1.1667 0.05311 84 74 6 4
1379 Just five more minutes,dear. 1.1667 0.03863 126 108 15 3
1380 I'm still getting used to working remotely. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
1381 I'm verifying your dating profile. You stated you were a former Olympic swimmer. 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
1382 This lane is for laps and laptops only. 1.1667 0.04837 96 84 8 4
1383 Please don't tell my wife,Larry,but I think I'm losing control of this multi-tasking thing! 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
1384 Marco, I need YOU to tell me your last name. 1.1667 0.05058 96 85 6 5
1385 I’m afraid you’re contractually obligated to enjoy yourself. 1.1667 0.04263 108 93 12 3
1386 No worries. I'm treading water with my toes. 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
1387 So when you said you specialised in water-works... 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
1388 Can I offer you an upgrade? 1.1667 0.03950 90 75 15 0
1389 It was sync or swim, so… 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
1390 Sorry, this lane is reserved for lapTOP swimming. 1.1667 0.04117 114 98 13 3
1391 Do you know what the Wi-Fi password is? 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
1392 Struggling to keep my head above water this week, Dan 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
1393 Oh yes, remote work has been great, if only HR would relax the dress code. 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
1394 What? They told me to pool my resources. 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
1395 Doing pretty well lately, thanks. Keeping my head above water and staying in my lane. 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
1396 This way, I save time on going to the toilet. 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
1397 Of course I’ve already rebooted. 1.1667 0.04639 102 89 9 4
1398 Is this not what you meant when you said bring a suit? 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
1399 I’m catching up on emails so I don’t drown in my inbox. 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
1400 Bad news. We’re under water. 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
1401 My boss told me to I needed to be more fluid. 1.1667 0.03835 108 91 16 1
1402 If you think I work too hard, you should talk to the guy I'm standing on. 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
1403 These aren’t the pooled resources I had in mind. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
1404 So long as I keep a shirt and tie on and stand close enough to the screen, they all believe I have an oceanfront… 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
1405 Multitasking is a must-have skill in this current job market. 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
1406 My wife told me to cool off before sending this email. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
1407 If we play our cards right, I think we can itemize your Speedo as a tax deduction 1.1667 0.04301 114 99 11 4
1408 I’m not really a fan of these ‘Team Building’ trips 1.1667 0.03961 102 86 15 1
1409 I find it hard to dive headfirst into vacation mode. 1.1653 0.03775 121 103 16 2
1410 Do you want to dry off first or should we dive right in? 1.1652 0.04266 115 100 11 4
1411 I'm on Vacation! 1.1651 0.04226 109 94 12 3
1412 I've decided to take the plunge and start a business. 1.1651 0.04226 109 94 12 3
1413 I went down a size, no room in the budget for two suits. 1.1651 0.03803 109 92 16 1
1414 My wife wanted to go swimming, but I prefer phishing. 1.1651 0.04423 109 95 10 4
1415 Well it’s not NOT uncomfortable 1.1651 0.04423 109 95 10 4
1416 I'm in a Virtual Reality Room. Or else you're in a Virtual Reality Room. 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
1417 I need to see the receipt for the pool .” 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
1418 Thanks for taking this meeting 1.1650 0.04596 103 90 9 4
1419 Is now a good time to tell you that your mortgage is under water?" 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
1420 I'm Aquaman's attorney,I just need to send him quick email. 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
1421 I only have a half day off. 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
1422 It's the new hybrid work model. 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
1423 My boss said this project would throw me into the deep end, but I’m still standing. 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
1424 I have a Zoom meeting in 5, can you swim away, please? 1.1649 0.04560 97 84 10 3
1425 I’m James P. Wheeler, Esq., specializing in slip and fall accidents, drownings and near drownings, drain suction entrapment incidents, and diving mishaps. 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
1426 Do you think this GIF is work-appropriate? 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
1427 For me recreation and work are inseparable 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
1428 Sorry to bother you,but I thought you should know how your portfolio is doing. 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
1429 I'm looking at clown porn 1.1649 0.04789 97 85 8 4
1430 I forgot my bathing suit. 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
1431 The Wi-Fi has really good wavelengths here. 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
1432 Because sitting is the new smoking. 1.1648 0.05006 91 80 7 4
1433 I’m more productive without the bathroom breaks 1.1648 0.05245 91 81 5 5
1434 On line 27a on this year's Form 1040. why did you fail to accountmfor the $32 business lunch you had with.... 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
1435 My firm doesn’t care where I work but I must wear a business attire! 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
1436 Get the lifeguard, I'm drowning in work. 1.1648 0.05006 91 80 7 4
1437 We can work remotely - but have to maintain the dress code. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
1438 It’s the only way to write off my gym membership. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
1439 No, it’s a toupee. And, yes, it’s waterproof. 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
1440 It was suggested I get my feet wet as part of onboarding. 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
1441 It going swimmingly, thanks for asking. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
1442 The company says I can work from anywhere 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
1443 Why shouldn’t my pool qualify for the home office deduction? 1.1647 0.04047 85 71 14 0
1444 i'm swimming in data 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
1445 I’m a shark. 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
1446 SPF 300 and no forever chemicals and splashproof. 1.1647 0.04978 85 74 8 3
1447 I thought this was adult swim 1.1647 0.05252 85 75 6 4
1448 Summer Fridays, amirite? 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
1449 And if you act today, you get a free set of pool-ready-business-attire, like I'm wearing now. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
1450 I’m going for the live background screen without the screen 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
1451 My boss said I could take vacation but planned meetings I had to attend 1.1647 0.04978 85 74 8 3
1452 I’ve been trying to reach you about your warranty 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
1453 Zoom Calls require proper business attire 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
1454 Writing in a bathtub has already been done. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
1455 You never take the kids! she said... 1.1646 0.05231 79 69 7 3
1456 Stay in your lane, Kevin. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
1457 This presentation is gonna make a splash. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
1458 Actually, my best event is the Key Stroke. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
1459 Yes, I'm also worried about the laptop getting wet. 1.1638 0.04232 116 101 11 4
1460 I want to tell my boss that I immersed myself in this report. 1.1638 0.03861 116 99 15 2
1461 I need to find a better car pool. 1.1638 0.03861 116 99 15 2
1462 One more time, how do I turn off a virtual background? 1.1638 0.04572 116 103 7 6
1463 They're logging my key strokes. I'm logging my back strokes. 1.1636 0.04190 110 95 12 3
1464 I don't like to get it wet. 1.1635 0.04555 104 91 9 4
1465 I’m fine. It’s waterproof. 1.1635 0.03891 104 88 15 1
1466 Now let’s dive into those itemized deductions, shall we? 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
1467 This is my idea of water aerobics. 1.1635 0.03891 104 88 15 1
1468 Time is money” 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
1469 My last coworking space didn't have sit-to-swim. 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
1470 Water immersion takes on a whole new meaning. 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
1471 This isn't bad. In the office, I'm usually under water. 1.1633 0.04743 98 86 8 4
1472 It's really all about finding that work-life balance." 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
1473 The title? "The Naked and the Clad." 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
1474 Over it! 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
1475 Wait, they have a fake background option?! 1.1633 0.04743 98 86 8 4
1476 You call this swimming? You should see your debt. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
1477 I told my wife it's going to be a working vacation. 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
1478 Just wanted to see what it would be like if the market flooded 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
1479 Listen, with climate change this is the best summer work shared space! 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
1480 Think anyone will notice me if I pee? 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
1481 How did you know I'm American? 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
1482 So what happened after she crossed into your lane? 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
1483 But this investment is very liquid. 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
1484 Business up top, bathing suit down below. 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
1485 Would you say you’re Very Refreshed, Refreshed, Not Refreshed, or Don’t Know? 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
1486 It looks like your assets are under water 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
1487 I love remote working, and I don't even have to wear business casual! 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
1488 My inbox is flooded. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
1489 Still trying to figure out my work/life balance. 1.1628 0.04924 86 75 8 3
1490 Working vacation. How about you? 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
1491 I'm just starting to get my feet wet 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
1492 Were you thinking term or whole life? 1.1628 0.04924 86 75 8 3
1493 I'm doing what I can to make a splash at work. 1.1628 0.04004 86 72 14 0
1494 Yes, Stan. You’re in deep. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
1495 Hashtag WFP 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
1496 I don't think the Hybrid policy is working as visualized. 1.1626 0.04061 123 107 12 4
1497 It's cool; I'm in the laptop lane. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
1498 My company just announced a new work from anywhere policy 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
1499 Don't worry, they can only see me from the waist up 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
1500 It’s ok! They only see me from the waist up. 1.1624 0.04018 117 101 13 3
1501 May I borrow your stapler? 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
1502 '....came to see you about your extended car warranty'. 1.1622 0.04532 111 98 8 5
1503 Why yes I *am* a remote worker. 1.1622 0.04155 111 96 12 3
1504 Would you like to buy some lifeguard insurance? 1.1619 0.04514 105 92 9 4
1505 Don't worry. It's waterproof. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
1506 This particular spot has the strongest Wifi. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
1507 All those folks at Starbucks on their laptops...too crowded! 1.1616 0.04698 99 87 8 4
1508 please stop kicking, you're getting me wet 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
1509 I put the "P" in Pool. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
1510 …and your mother’s maiden name? 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
1511 No PCing in the pool. 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
1512 My boss lets me work from anywhere. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
1513 Video is great—jackets are optional, and no one can tell if I’m wearing pants. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
1514 My Assets Are Underwater 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
1515 I used to work from home, but I missed the human interaction. 1.1613 0.04904 93 82 7 4
1516 Yes, I'm a little out of the swim. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
1517 The lifeguard is working remote. 1.1613 0.04904 93 82 7 4
1518 Excuse me, this a private Zoom call. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
1519 It's the new waterproof lapstop model. 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
1520 How would you rank your swimming satisfaction on a scale from 1 to 10 "? 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
1521 Low-impact standing desk. You should try it. 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
1522 I'm a wet-collar worker. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
1523 They only gave us Swimmer Fridays this year 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
1524 Nah. I just tell them it's a new background. 1.1613 0.04904 93 82 7 4
1525 That completes the survey would you like to sign up for the newsletter? 1.1610 0.04164 118 103 11 4
1526 The nice thing about working on this pool side is that I don’t need to take bathroom breaks. 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
1527 Promised my wife i’d get in the pool if she let me work on vacation! 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
1528 Yeah, I know. It's a weird spot for the club to have its 'hot spot', but what can I do? 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
1529 If you do what you love, you'll never swim a day in your life. 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
1530 It's the methodology portion of my dissertation on thalassophobia. 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
1531 This used to be the secretarial pool. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
1532 I need to get this report finished before I prune. 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
1533 This is the only way I'm ever going to get into this water. 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
1534 I was missing our chats around the water cooler. 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
1535 You’ll have to leave if you get a hard drive. 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
1536 With new clients I just like to dive right in. 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
1537 It’s all about efficiency, Ron. This way I eliminated my commute to the gym after work. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
1538 When you’re ready, this document will need a wet signature. 1.1609 0.03962 87 73 14 0
1539 My editor told me to immerse myself in my next book. 1.1607 0.04120 112 97 12 3
1540 I thought I'd do a dry run first. 1.1607 0.03920 112 96 14 2
1541 So, about those boxes in the pool house... 1.1607 0.04494 112 99 8 5
1542 AC is down again in your office, huh Carl? 1.1607 0.04311 112 98 10 4
1543 In fact after the home office deduction it pays for itself. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
1544 I'd love to be able to just enjoy myself, but I'm drowning in work right now. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
1545 Charlie, did you know that your vehicle warranty is about to expire? 1.1605 0.05403 81 72 5 4
1546 It’s a hybrid remote position. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
1547 Sync or swim is feeling much more literal these days. 1.1605 0.05403 81 72 5 4
1548 I thought you said you were underwater, Dave 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
1549 I just joined the office pool — I’m Wade 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
1550 I’m getting too old to surf the web. These days, I just paddle the web. 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
1551 The secret, my friend, is knowing how to mix business with pleaure. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
1552 Did you say our stocks reached the high water mark? 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
1553 I needed physical therapy but couldn't get time off work. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
1554 I promised the kids. 1.1600 0.04431 100 87 10 3
1555 Just getting my feet wet in this new job. 1.1600 0.04654 100 88 8 4
1556 I fell for another phishing scam. 1.1600 0.03949 100 85 14 1
1557 I’m bring back the Liquid Lunch. 1.1600 0.04431 100 87 10 3
1558 What qualities would you say make you a good fit for the deep end? 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
1559 Since swimming here would you say that your quality of life is: Much Better, Better, Neither Better Nor Worse, Worse, or Much Worse. 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
1560 The problem with remote work is the work part. 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
1561 They need this presentation to make a splash 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
1562 52 second lap time...now we just need a blood test, and your apartment application will be complete 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
1563 Is this the secretarial pool? 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
1564 Well, I am an insurance underwriter trainee and will soon be working in US coastal areas where I will cancel flood insurance coverage. 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
1565 I fear this isn’t what my boss meant by “let’s dive in” 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
1566 Sorry, I misheard you about exploring your pooled liquid assets. 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
1567 I showered before getting in. 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
1568 Beats the morning commute, eh? 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
1569 I thought I was signing up for a car pool. 1.1593 0.04086 113 98 12 3
1570 asynchronous work 1.1593 0.04086 113 98 12 3
1571 I really feel at home in the water 1.1593 0.04275 113 99 10 4
1572 Would you participate in a brief survey after we're done? 1.1591 0.04818 88 77 8 3
1573 My physical therapist prescribed an hour a day in the pool. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
1574 Your critical insurance needs take no holiday. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
1575 This is my only bad habit. 1.1591 0.04818 88 77 8 3
1576 I'm deviating from generally accepted accounting principles. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
1577 The office pool has become incredibly overcrowded. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
1578 Maintaining my work-life balance has always been a priority for me. 1.1591 0.04818 88 77 8 3
1579 And would you say the pool has improved your fitness a little, somewhat, or a lot? 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
1580 It's the latest TikTok trend 1.1591 0.04818 88 77 8 3
1581 Unlike your typical lifeguard, I’m more than just a piece of meat. 1.1591 0.05572 88 80 2 6
1582 Be creative, don't hold back, jump in with all you've got and you will start to see results immediately, they said... Any minute now... 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
1583 I'm known for my dry humor. 1.1589 0.04231 107 93 11 3
1584 As you clearly see, I've not gone off the deep end. 1.1589 0.04231 107 93 11 3
1585 Zoom. They can’t tell I’m wearing swim trunks. 1.1589 0.04434 107 94 9 4
1586 New work-from-pool policy. 1.1589 0.03791 107 91 15 1
1587 I’m practicing for the 100m keystroke. 1.1589 0.04434 107 94 9 4
1588 Looks like all our assets are liquid. 1.1589 0.03791 107 91 15 1
1589 The business center was closed due to flooding. 1.1589 0.03791 107 91 15 1
1590 They did say I'd be working in the fast lane 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
1591 Lemme guess, drowning in e-mails? 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
1592 I am searching for a YouTube on what to wear and what to do in a swimming pool. I don't know how else I can find out about these things. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
1593 they said I would drown in my work... 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
1594 It appears that the Deep State has moved to the shallow end. 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
1595 Just wait till I get in over my head. 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
1596 To be a participant observer, you have to blend in. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
1597 We’ll be in touch. As you can see, we have a very qualified pool of applicants. 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
1598 This is what I love about Zoom. 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
1599 You want the rider for accidental drowning? 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
1600 Sorry Bob, but I think you’re taking the ‘casual’ in “business casual” a bit too literally 1.1585 0.04058 82 69 13 0
1601 Summer hours.” 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
1602 We were asked to pool our resources even while working remotely. 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
1603 Multitasking. Why do you ask? 1.1584 0.03913 101 86 14 1
1604 ...You know you can 'yell-for-help' online? 1.1584 0.04820 101 90 6 5
1605 We have a flexible work from home policy. 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
1606 My boss limits bathroom breaks so I work from here." 1.1583 0.04099 120 105 11 4
1607 Well, the good news is that your investments are quite liquid. 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
1608 The lifeguard will be on the computer screen soon to watch you. 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
1609 On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the strongest, how would you rate your irritation at a person blocking your swimming lane to administer a survey about enjoyment of swimming? 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
1610 My event is keystroke. 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
1611 I do all my surfing in a wetsuit. 1.1579 0.04419 114 101 8 5
1612 Everyone will think it´s a virtual background. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
1613 I guess the office pool is different at Google. 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
1614 Do you mind? I'm on a tight deadline. 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
1615 Working from the pool was the next logical move. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
1616 We thought we'd try something different this year with the office pool. 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
1617 I try to take full advantage of our summer hours policy. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
1618 I'm working on my work-life balance. 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
1619 Well if you know a better way to pee during a zoom meeting I’d love to hear it” 1.1579 0.04807 95 84 7 4
1620 Don't worry I've blurred by background 1.1575 0.03779 127 110 14 3
1621 I was never much for exercise, but I enjoy the camaraderie 1.1574 0.03982 108 93 13 2
1622 I'm scheduling my next swim. 1.1574 0.04395 108 95 9 4
1623 Practicing my keystroke. What does it look like? 1.1574 0.04395 108 95 9 4
1624 Because it's more fun than working from home. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
1625 I'm here for the swim-up-Bar Association meeting, why do you ask? 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
1626 I hate being interrupted. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
1627 I like working from home. 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
1628 My company has a strict dress code. 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
1629 I'm an accountant. I'm dry inside." 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
1630 Oh it’s… just a background… 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
1631 I’ve gotten a lot of compliments on my new Zoom background. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
1632 'Could you watch my laptop while I get out to urinate?' 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
1633 The company's under water! 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
1634 I’m working from home, and there’s no air conditioning. 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
1635 I wanted to get some strokes in. 1.1569 0.03878 102 87 14 1
1636 The probablility is less than .01 that you peed in the pool. 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
1637 The office bathroom has been closed all week. 1.1569 0.03878 102 87 14 1
1638 I got kicked out of the office pool. 1.1569 0.04567 102 90 8 4
1639 No worries, my mouse is a good swimmer 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
1640 The boss said I could go to the pool during lunch, as long as he gets this spreadsheet on time. 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
1641 It's important to have a good work-life balance. 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
1642 I miss casual Fridays. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
1643 I was told we have a hydrate work environment. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
1644 Seriously, where else can you find a ‘clothing optional’ spa with decent Wifi? 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
1645 We're swimming in debt Walter, I'm just trying to keep my head above water 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
1646 I read online that water is relaxing. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
1647 It’s a Great company to work for. Nobody gets in hot water. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
1648 Get a remote job, they said. It’d be fun, they said. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
1649 I'm praying it will meet with a watery grave. 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
1650 I am relaxing. I’m wearing jorts. 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
1651 That's not my urine. It's a hot spot. 1.1562 0.04759 96 85 7 4
1652 I am programming the AI lifeguard to save you from drowning. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
1653 I thought I was doing well at my job, but it turns out I was only treading water. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
1654 I know the remake was a flop, but wait'll they see The Little Sherman. 1.1562 0.03725 96 81 15 0
1655 I’m almost done setting up the virtual lifeguard 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
1656 This is my summer standing desk 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
1657 I'm liquidating your assets. 1.1560 0.03727 109 93 15 1
1658 The hardest part of synchronized swimming is keeping the computer dry. 1.1560 0.04158 109 95 11 3
1659 My work-life balance is barely above water 1.1560 0.04158 109 95 11 3
1660 I couldn't get a thing done at the office. 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
1661 We've been trying to reach you concerning your cars warranty. 1.1560 0.04548 109 97 7 5
1662 The a/c broke in my apartment. OK? 1.1560 0.03948 109 94 13 2
1663 Sorry — I'm early for nerd swim." 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
1664 How many bedrooms you need? 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
1665 I think I brought the wrong suit. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
1666 My boss warned me about getting in deep water with clients. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
1667 God, I love working remotely. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
1668 Somebody has to manage this. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
1669 I just wanted a change of scenery. 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
1670 Stay in your lane, buddy, and I'll stay in mine. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
1671 My father raised me to have no fun. 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
1672 My company no longer allows working from home, but I found a loophole. 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
1673 Work is going swimmingly in case anyone asks. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
1674 This is me not returning to the office. 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
1675 I don't like to get my hair wet. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
1676 Oh yes I am on holiday but I’m American so just need to hop on a quick zoom call 1.1556 0.04975 90 80 6 4
1677 I finally got approved for a hybrid work schedule. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
1678 Our firm has a great work-life balance. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
1679 Hydrotherapy is sometimes deductible, pickleball no dice... 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
1680 I’m working remote from the pool 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
1681 Just one more email… 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
1682 I’m saving the rest of my paid leave for a much needed staycation 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
1683 Swimming is the new standing 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
1684 I’m trying to spend less time on my phone 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
1685 This email is either going to sink or swim. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
1686 Oh, you should see what I billed the client I met with on K2. 1.1553 0.04310 103 90 10 3
1687 You never know when the office has a video conference. 1.1553 0.04310 103 90 10 3
1688 I find it stimulating to be around people not making money. 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
1689 I'm checking up on my employees who claim that they're working from home. 1.1553 0.04083 103 89 12 2
1690 It's a new concept called WePool. 1.1553 0.04525 103 91 8 4
1691 It says that Amazon can get the bathing suit here in 6 hours. 1.1553 0.04310 103 90 10 3
1692 These meetings are always scheduled at the worst time. 1.1553 0.04310 103 90 10 3
1693 They asked why I was working from the poolside. I told them the Wi-Fi was bad in the deep-end 1.1553 0.03587 103 87 16 0
1694 I'm Trump's new lawyer, as you can see I'm not out of my depth. 1.1553 0.04928 103 93 4 6
1695 I tried calling you about your car’s extended warranty. 1.1553 0.04310 103 90 10 3
1696 When I was invited to join the office pool, I assumed they meant betting. 1.1553 0.04731 103 92 6 5
1697 Had hemorrhoid surgery, but still need to work 1.1549 0.05548 71 63 5 3
1698 I'm multitasking. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
1699 Do you know how to change the background on Zoom? 1.1548 0.04936 84 74 7 3
1700 Liquidity is a key factor in your pooled funds. 1.1548 0.04936 84 74 7 3
1701 I try to meet my clients where they are. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
1702 Plaintiff says it's only been twenty-seven minutes since you finished lunch. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
1703 This way I don’t have to use any vacation hours. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
1704 I'm sticking it to the man. He thinks I'm working from home. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
1705 If it cures my writer's block, who am I to judge? 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
1706 This way I don’t have to stop working to urinate 1.1548 0.04936 84 74 7 3
1707 Yes, club dues are deductible, but fees associated with lessons or equipment such as floaties, kickboards, goggles, etc. are not. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
1708 Take a seat. I'll be right with you. 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
1709 The background is perfect as long as I stay muted. 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
1710 I got tired of my treadmill desk. 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
1711 I started writing my novel before they filled the pool. 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
1712 We're still working from home, but the boss didn't change the dress code. 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
1713 Those are not my bubbles! 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
1714 We’re piloting summer Fridays. 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
1715 I want to make sure I'm respecting your personal time 1.1546 0.04935 97 87 5 5
1716 Thank you for agreeing to meet in the shallow end, Ted. 1.1545 0.04509 110 98 7 5
1717 My chiropractor highly recommended switching to a swimming desk. 1.1545 0.04122 110 96 11 3
1718 And you said you swim twice weekly? That will enable us to offer a substantial premium reduction. 1.1538 0.04271 104 91 10 3
1719 The corner Starbucks is closed, so this was the closest place with free Wi-Fi. 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
1720 In addition to this spa membership, we can also write off your swimming trunks and towel. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
1721 The boss told me to keep my head above water. 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
1722 Working on my keystroke. 1.1538 0.04271 104 91 10 3
1723 Technically, it's a working vacation. 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
1724 It's a half workday. 1.1538 0.03803 91 77 14 0
1725 I ran out of sunscreen. 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
1726 They said let’s all meet in the typing pool and I’m the first to arrive. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
1727 Even with the medical deduction, you are underwater with this therapeutic pool. 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
1728 Why yes,I am a bathing suit 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
1729 Not the typing pool? 1.1538 0.03764 117 101 14 2
1730 If you bundle your home and auto, I can save you 15%. 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
1731 I'm just like the duck, all serene above the water, but paddling for all I'm worth below the surface! 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
1732 My company allows remote work but requires business attire. 1.1538 0.04923 91 81 6 4
1733 I’m merely integrating leisure activity into my life. 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
1734 "On a scale of 1-to-10, how likely is it that you would wear a suit-shaped wet suit?" 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
1735 I thought it might improve our liquidity situation. 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
1736 Go Phish 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
1737 They love my backgrounds 1.1532 0.03665 111 95 15 1
1738 You're in the lap lane. 1.1532 0.04087 111 97 11 3
1739 Hamiltub...an aquatic adaptation of the Founding Fathers 1.1531 0.04436 98 86 9 3
1740 They told me to use the secretarial pool 1.1531 0.04436 98 86 9 3
1741 Yes, my job is 100% remote but they still expect me to wear a tie during business hours 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
1742 Genius Bar, now accepting reservations pool side. 1.1531 0.04667 98 87 7 4
1743 Some of my friends go as far as to call me a workaholic. 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
1744 You do your reps. I AM a rep. 1.1531 0.03656 98 83 15 0
1745 I'm a digital naiad. 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
1746 Computer says, ‘no’. 1.1531 0.04436 98 86 9 3
1747 I'm working on my strokes per minute 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
1748 I’m sticking it to the man, I CAN work from anywhere. 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
1749 I'm scoping out the talent pool. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
1750 My manager said I should work on staying in my lane. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
1751 I find that I do my best work until the starter's gun goes off. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
1752 I find it makes it easier to track trends in market fluidity. 1.1529 0.04881 85 75 7 3
1753 Amazon can deliver a toaster here same-day. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
1754 This way I can deduct my pool fees as a business expense.” 1.1529 0.04881 85 75 7 3
1755 I’m mitigating the AI risks of this Adult Swim. 1.1529 0.03927 85 72 13 0
1756 Have you tried getting out of the pool and getting back in again? 1.1529 0.04881 85 75 7 3
1757 And how long have you been noticing this smell of chlorine, Mr. Polo? 1.1529 0.05160 85 76 5 4
1758 I just aim the camera upwards a little and nobody knows. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
1759 It's a swim-up desk. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
1760 The computer takes care of the background,but I have to wear a necktie when I zoom for an office conference. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
1761 I’m trying to normalize Public Displays of Accounting. 1.1529 0.04881 85 75 7 3
1762 My boss warned me that I'd be swimming in work on my vacation. 1.1529 0.03927 85 72 13 0
1763 I prefer to be a tech savvy fish in a medium sized lap pool. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
1764 I know you’re busy but did you see where my swimsuit went. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
1765 Why yes, Bob. I am teaching summer school this year. What gave it away? 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
1766 This is the only place with good wifi 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
1767 I’m one of the pool’s new life insurance guards. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
1768 When I said I’d meet you where you’re at, I meant it . 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
1769 Yes, I know it’s a lap lane. That’s why I brought my laptop. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
1770 These Vision Pros make it appear like I'm wearing regular glasses; so I don't look silly..., 1.1524 0.04232 105 92 10 3
1771 Not right now...I'm swimming in work. 1.1524 0.04444 105 93 8 4
1772 I promised my wife I wouldn’t let work interfere with our vacation. 1.1524 0.04232 105 92 10 3
1773 I love my remote job 1.1524 0.04010 105 91 12 2
1774 It's a working holiday. 1.1524 0.03524 105 89 16 0
1775 Isn’t it amazing how much freedom HomeOffice gave us? 1.1524 0.04232 105 92 10 3
1776 It's called a working vacation. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
1777 So, did he bump into your rear or did you back up into his front 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
1778 Jim, i’m worried Parker may be getting in over his head on this one. 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
1779 It’s a little late to opt in for the flood insurance….. 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
1780 I'm a bit of a workaholic. 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
1781 You can have the lane once I finish this email. 1.1522 0.03765 92 78 14 0
1782 As your lawyer, I would advise you to tread water lightly. 1.1522 0.03765 92 78 14 0
1783 What makes you think I’m not relaxed? 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
1784 I'm using pooled data 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
1785 I wanted to continue at home. My boss wanted me back in the office. We compromised. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
1786 I'm trying to do fun and office at the same time. 1.1522 0.04872 92 82 6 4
1787 Jerry, now that we’re back to work you need to wear a suit. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
1788 Double duty, lifeguard shortage. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
1789 It's the next generation of standing desk. 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
1790 Wait, this isn't how you add a background on Zoom? 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
1791 keep it down you guys, I'm in hot water as it is. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
1792 You just don’t understand Bitcoin. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
1793 No, the virtual background blocks out the pool. 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
1794 I was forced to swim nude with other boys in 7th grade. It was quite damaging and now I blog about the path I took to heal. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
1795 Wi-fi's better here. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
1796 You call it OCD. I call it multitasking. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
1797 I used up all of my PTO. 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
1798 I consider this as coming into work. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
1799 State Farm is there? Yes, we mean it. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
1800 It's the only way I could make this trip tax-deductible. 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
1801 My options are underwater 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
1802 So glad I caught up to you, we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
1803 It’s mandatory work-life balance week. 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
1804 I was told that we’d be working in a pool system… 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
1805 My elementary school teacher told me to never get in over my head. 1.1518 0.03849 112 97 13 2
1806 i’m looking forward to casual Friday 1.1518 0.03634 112 96 15 1
1807 Sorry - I thought this was the typing pool. 1.1515 0.04622 99 88 7 4
1808 I was told this is where everyone does their business 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
1809 My boss told me that I need more balance in my life. 1.1515 0.03896 99 85 13 1
1810 But can ChatGPT do THIS? 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
1811 AquaRemote. It's a thing. 1.1515 0.03622 99 84 15 0
1812 I call it "sworking". 1.1512 0.03885 86 73 13 0
1813 So when did you first notice that your rubber ducky was missing. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
1814 Sir, it’s illegal to stop and chat in an adult swim lane. 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
1815 You get to use the deep end if you approve the waiver. 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
1816 So, before you felt the kick in the face, you heard some shout, "Marco?" 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
1817 I come here to work and pee. 1.1512 0.04827 86 76 7 3
1818 Wait - this isn't the temp pool? 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
1819 It’s a lap pool, right? 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
1820 I like doing laps on my laptop. 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
1821 Remote work is great, but the dress code is killing me. 1.1512 0.03885 86 73 13 0
1822 I'm more productive here, no pee breaks 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
1823 What do you mean, "wrong suit"? 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
1824 This stroke poses no challenges for swimmers in terms of flotation. I would never recommend it, except, possibly, as a device to wedge underneath a short table leg to keep the table from drowning. David English Acton, Mass. 1.1512 0.04827 86 76 7 3
1825 I just typed “pool.” AI chooses public or private. 1.1512 0.04827 86 76 7 3
1826 And now to change my Zoom background to “office.” 1.1512 0.05103 86 77 5 4
1827 My whole world opened up when I figured out how to change the background on Zoom 1.1512 0.05103 86 77 5 4
1828 AI said Marco 1.1509 0.04404 106 94 8 4
1829 Man, the candidate pool sure is shallow these days 1.1509 0.04195 106 93 10 3
1830 And on a scale of one to ten, sir, how much would you say you are enjoying yourself? 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
1831 Should I accept cookies? 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
1832 Isn't it adult swim time?" 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
1833 Every Super Bowl, I enter my office’s pool. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
1834 How to describe your portfolio..."under water" comes to mind... 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
1835 Multi-Tasking. It's all the rage. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
1836 It's also a flotation device. 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
1837 We should sell those positions as they are under water. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
1838 Cool eh! 1.1505 0.03728 93 79 14 0
1839 Ok,now this class is deductable. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
1840 I have you wading at 10:00. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
1841 ``It saves me a trip to the bathroom. Just messing with you, pal.'' 1.1505 0.04573 93 82 8 3
1842 Do you mind? I'm trying to work here. 1.1505 0.04573 93 82 8 3
1843 Okay, I'm soooo sorry. Doing laps. Doing laptop. How was I to know? 1.1500 0.05063 80 71 6 3
1844 If you get a snorkel and sign a DNR I can save you 17%. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
1845 Why not? I figured, most of my investments are under water, anyway. 1.1500 0.04578 100 89 7 4
1846 The best part is the office thinks I am working from home. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
1847 When I told you to liquidate your assets this isn't what I had in mind. 1.1500 0.05063 80 71 6 3
1848 We can play Marco Polo after we file. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
1849 Looks like you're not completely underwater yet. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
1850 I tried work-life balance, but find work-life integration more refreshing. 1.1500 0.04578 100 89 7 4
1851 Another hundred laps and you'll qualify for a dollar discount off your life insurance premium. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
1852 I love not having to get up and walk to the bathroom. 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
1853 Water aerobics and work! 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
1854 We're here for you 24/7, with or without sunscreen. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
1855 I'm hoping to make a big splash at work. 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
1856 My job encourages remote aquatics 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
1857 Just trying to keep my head above the water here. 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
1858 I’ve always lived life in the fast lane 1.1495 0.04365 107 95 8 4
1859 I'm only taking half of my vacation day. 1.1495 0.03940 107 93 12 2
1860 And where were you January 6th? 1.1495 0.04158 107 94 10 3
1861 My cardiologist wants me in the pool an hour each day. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
1862 Well, to be honest, I really had to pee! 1.1494 0.05047 87 78 5 4
1863 What’s it worth to you for me to turn off the video? 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
1864 Now let's move on to some questions about the water temperature. 1.1494 0.03844 87 74 13 0
1865 My company allows me to work from home...only in business formal attire though. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
1866 Why no jacket? My business! 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
1867 My laptop tracks lapses in your lap performance 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
1868 It's a vacation variant of the covid work-from-home scheme 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
1869 Frankly, I’m a bit nostalgic for the water cooler. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
1870 I was told my company had no choice but to go into liquidation 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
1871 I was ordered to go to the typing pool. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
1872 If you must know, I’m here to surf the net. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
1873 I can't wait for casual Friday 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
1874 The shirt and tie are just for the zoom meeting. I am working from home today 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
1875 So, you want me to float you a loan. 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
1876 I'm doing research on "prune skin". 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
1877 Just let me finish up this swimlane. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
1878 Since working from the pool, my productivity has increased 23%. I no longer need to take breaks to pee. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
1879 They let us work on vacation now 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
1880 Well, you said you wanted to take this offline, so let's dive right in. 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
1881 Actually, a lot of CEOs got their start in the typing pool. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
1882 So, swimming beats work? 1.1489 0.03692 94 80 14 0
1883 And then she was like, "I bet you can't spend one day away from the office!", and I was like "You're on, bitch!" 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
1884 They allow us to work remotely but they remain steadfast on business professional attire. 1.1489 0.03692 94 80 14 0
1885 Now I don't need restroom breaks. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
1886 White Rabbit? Don't know it. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
1887 They said "come to the pool to do laps". I thought they said "Come to the pool with your lap". 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
1888 I really prefer we meet at my office to go over your taxes. 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
1889 As mentioned earlier, we're willing to work around your schedule. 1.1489 0.03692 94 80 14 0
1890 Apparently, I won the office pool. 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
1891 My goal is to make wet working the new quiet quitting. 1.1489 0.04773 94 84 6 4
1892 For some reason I can't refresh 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
1893 Yea man, my wife said swimming would help with my work stress. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
1894 If you all don’t mind, I’m going to keep my camera off for this zoom meeting. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
1895 I’m notorious at the company for my witty background photos. 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
1896 They told me to dive deep into it 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
1897 On a tight schedule. 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
1898 All they told me was that, I had to wear a suit to go in the pool. 1.1486 0.05333 74 66 5 3
1899 Swim suits required. Its right here on their website! 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
1900 It’s called mindfulness, Lewis 1.1485 0.04535 101 90 7 4
1901 This pool has better WiFi than my office. 1.1485 0.04748 101 91 5 5
1902 And did you have any life events or major purchases this year? 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
1903 What do you mean it wasn't THAT type of pool application? 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
1904 It’s not so bad. The last place I worked was completely under water. 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
1905 Personally, I prefer the keystroke. 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
1906 My office eliminated casual Fridays. 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
1907 Today's my flex day. 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
1908 I lost my trunks 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
1909 This is not quite what I expected when I applied to work in the Secretarial Pool! 1.1485 0.04535 101 90 7 4
1910 It’s a camera off day 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
1911 It’s my work bathing suit 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
1912 And, I don’t need a key to the executive washroom. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
1913 Since you went offline we stalk you real time now. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
1914 They said "free wi-fi on all hotel premises". 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
1915 I find I do my best work when I really immerse myself. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
1916 Just trying to cool off before I jump into the grand jury hot seat. 1.1481 0.05003 81 72 6 3
1917 I call this work privilage 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
1918 I'm drowning in paperwork today. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
1919 I'd like to float you a loan, but clearly you have buoyancy issues 1.1481 0.05003 81 72 6 3
1920 Corporate says my reports are too dry. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
1921 Au contraire. This would be a perfect time to review your Liquid Assets portfolio. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
1922 Wanna take a deeper dive into last week’s sales figures? 1.1481 0.05003 81 72 6 3
1923 As a licenced CPA, I am advising you that deducting the cost of your Speedos as a medical expense will not be allowed . Even, if they do hold your boys in. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
1924 at least I'm not in over my head..... 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
1925 I'm not working from home. I'm in the secretarial pool. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
1926 Silence! It’s almost my time to introduce myself on the call! 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
1927 I’m doing a piece for the New Yorker Can you verify your wife’s maiden name? 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
1928 We have a dress code, even for remote work. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
1929 Secretarial pool is next lane. This is for management types who can barely tread water. 1.1481 0.05303 81 73 4 4
1930 The Breaststroke was cancelled. This is the Keystroke. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
1931 I'm trying to better my work-life balance 1.1481 0.05003 81 72 6 3
1932 Ok, I met you half way 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
1933 According to my calculations, I’m a nerd. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
1934 It would have worked if I had remembered to change my Zoom background 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
1935 We were told that all pool writers could no longer work remotely. 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
1936 Now I can deduct this as a business expense.. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
1937 So she fed you lunch and then let you swim in less than an hour?! 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
1938 Lap time. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
1939 With no restroom breaks I can accomplish so much more! 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
1940 It's the ultimate Zoom background. 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
1941 Back in school, I was champion of the keystroke. 1.1477 0.04992 88 79 5 4
1942 It's possible that work-from-home has made it hard to separate work from non-work time. 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
1943 I do laptops not laps 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
1944 For awhile I was in over my ahead, but.... 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
1945 Business casual doesn't fly with my boss. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
1946 Testing the waters before I jump in to retirement. 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
1947 It's really all about work-life balance. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
1948 Do you have any other pooled assets? 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
1949 I 'm just not ready for the deep end. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
1950 It’s the only place I get poolside service. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
1951 My boss said jump feet first into the pool of potential clients. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
1952 What do you mean I'm in too deep? 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
1953 Yeah, I like a deep dive too. I'm reading the Wikipedia page for 'Pool' right now. 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
1954 I see you left something in your cart. 1.1477 0.04992 88 79 5 4
1955 Backstroke? No, this is the key-stroke. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
1956 No I’m not drowning in work, I’m treading in multitasking 1.1475 0.04143 122 109 8 5
1957 It’s tax deductible, and there’s no sunburn. 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
1958 Liquidity is really important in my sector. 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
1959 This way I balance both. 1.1474 0.03656 95 81 14 0
1960 Materials research: it's an experimental wetsuit. 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
1961 Sorry, I can’t talk right now. I’m just trying to stay above water at work. 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
1962 I heard it could help with back pain. 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
1963 I don't even have to take vacation time. 1.1474 0.04725 95 85 6 4
1964 I've been swimming in emails all week. 1.1474 0.03656 95 81 14 0
1965 « My home office got flooded » 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
1966 the hotspot was getting to me" 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
1967 You only needed the shirt and tie 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
1968 So anyway, after the divorce, I’ve really changed my priorities. Working on myself now. 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
1969 I’m working on my splash page. 1.1471 0.04493 102 91 7 4
1970 I'm here for the Zoom background." 1.1471 0.04493 102 91 7 4
1971 I could sit in a coffee shop all day but this is healthier. 1.1471 0.04038 102 89 11 2
1972 I’m taking half of a vacation day. 1.1471 0.03790 102 88 13 1
1973 I’m quiet vacationing. 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
1974 Haven't you heard of a workcation? 1.1471 0.03524 102 87 15 0
1975 I just got sucked into this meeting... 1.1471 0.03790 102 88 13 1
1976 I can offer you big discounts on your drowning rates insurance. 1.1471 0.04038 102 89 11 2
1977 No, I am having fun. You're the one not having fun. 1.1471 0.04038 102 89 11 2
1978 I couldn't work out how to put a holiday background on Zoom 1.1471 0.04038 102 89 11 2
1979 Somebody’s gotta pay for this vacation, bub. 1.1471 0.04271 102 90 9 3
1980 They've relaxed their policy about in-office work but they won't budge on the dress code. 1.1471 0.04271 102 90 9 3
1981 For me, it’s really all about business in the front and party in the back 1.1468 0.03872 109 95 12 2
1982 At the end of my time, I don't want to look back and regret having not worked more. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
1983 I blur the background and usually get away with it 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
1984 Speaking of swimming, but your accounts are under water. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
1985 Don’t look at me like that. It is, after all, called a swimsuit. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
1986 It's not what you think! I'm writing this vacation off as a business expense. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
1987 My treadmill desk was hard on my knees. 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
1988 I'm from your alumni society. Is this a good time? 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
1989 I'm the CEO and lifeguard of this resort! 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
1990 My therapist told me to try to combine work and pleasure. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
1991 My stand-up desk is in drydock. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
1992 Where's your suit? 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
1993 Once you use a stand-up desk, it's it's really tough to do anything else. 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
1994 I figured I’d start in the secretarial pool and work my way up. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
1995 I'm trying to get out of the office more these days, show my wife I can still be "fun". 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
1996 Yes, working vacation, all right! 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
1997 Mandatory zoom call. Don't worry, I've muted myself. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
1998 Just fishing for a good story. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
1999 I promised my boss it would be a working vacation. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
2000 Being able to Work From Pool helps a lot! 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
2001 Please, the password, anyone 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
2002 I used to not wear any pants on calls. HR is fine with swimwear. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
2003 It's called Quiet Vacationing, all the GenXrs are doing it. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
2004 I‘m getting in deep waters with my presentation 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
2005 ....and how do you feel about your percs? 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2006 I may have misunderstood when they said we were underwater financially." 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2007 Do you know the password for the pool's wi-fi? 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2008 I wear my trunks on casual Friday. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2009 Do you have flood insurance? 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2010 Our remote work policy conflicts somewhat with our vacation policy 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
2011 And, we can add a rider to cover drowning. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2012 Deadline. Bonus. Wife's happy...Tell me you wouldn't do the same. 1.1461 0.03765 89 76 13 0
2013 Walking desks hurt my knees. 1.1461 0.03765 89 76 13 0
2014 What memo? 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2015 They say work life balance is the key to success. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2016 I get unlimited PTO. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2017 I'm afraid that idea is all wet 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2018 Yeah, I need to tread carefully. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2019 You’ve heard of the rat race? This is leg 2 of the rat triathlon. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2020 Why yes, I find this far superior to a stand up desk. 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
2021 I’m not sure about the new company sponsored swim lessons to stop us from drowning in work. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2022 I’m leading a high-level deep dive 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2023 On a scale of 1 to 5 where 1 is totally agree and 5 is totally ... 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
2024 I’m just trying to stay afloat in this market. 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
2025 It's just part of our 'Leaving your Comfort Zone' training. 1.1458 0.04437 96 85 8 3
2026 I was hired to work in the secretary pool, but it looks like I’m the first one here. 1.1458 0.03621 96 82 14 0
2027 I'm the pool reporter here. Stay in your lane, Bub. 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
2028 Is your dying aunt in the shallow end or the sauna? Either way, you're fired. 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
2029 This was the closest bathroom. 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
2030 I just pissed in da pool…can everyone see my screen? 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
2031 Don't worry,I waited 30 minutes after eating lunch. 1.1456 0.04232 103 91 9 3
2032 We found Hunter’s laptop with Hillary’s emails hidden in the documents at Mar-A-Lago. Looks like a vast broken wing conspiracy. 1.1456 0.04001 103 90 11 2
2033 I can't stop working; I'm barely staying afloat as it is. 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
2034 The company is trying out work from anywhere 1.1456 0.04232 103 91 9 3
2035 "All in all, I don't know if I'm working in my free time or relaxing at work right now." 1.1455 0.04252 110 98 8 4
2036 I’m here to talk about your car’s extended warranty. 1.1455 0.04443 110 99 6 5
2037 Because I’m really not completely under water yet. 1.1449 0.05569 69 62 4 3
2038 Ethnographer: "So tell me, what does the water feel like to you?" 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
2039 The Wi-Fi’s better here. 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
2040 You don't expect me to Zoom my boss in a Speedo, do you? 1.1447 0.05199 76 68 5 3
2041 I'm sorry but the secretarial pool was full. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
2042 My boss said I need to pool my resources. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2043 Technically, I still work from home. 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
2044 My next book is about fish. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2045 Casual Friday I can handle. But, Swimming Pool Saturday.. just sayin'. 1.1446 0.04889 83 74 6 3
2046 It’s a benefit of our “Work From Pool” policy 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2047 JUST CATCHING UP 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
2048 Google maps said, "you've arrived at your office destination." 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
2049 Why do you think they call it a lap-top? 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
2050 Remote work has been great, but we are still only able to dress casually on Fridays. 1.1446 0.04889 83 74 6 3
2051 It took a while for me to find my work-life balance. 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
2052 Why would I only work from home when there are so many other options? 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2053 My doctor thought aquatics might help me relax. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2054 Bob, I’m telling you I’ve run the numbers every which way til Sunday. Unfortunately, both you and the company are under water! 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2055 Unlike me, Mr. Smith, our records place you in really deep water. 1.1446 0.04889 83 74 6 3
2056 You laugh, but I'll be the one who still knows how to be productive when sea levels rise. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2057 Can you help me with this? I’m trying to float an idea here. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2058 I’m pooling ideas today. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2059 My blog is about summer recreational opportunities and it's hard for my followers to take me seriously if I am always sitting in front of bookshelves. 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
2060 My office insists on work-life balance. 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
2061 You got a charger? 1.1446 0.04889 83 74 6 3
2062 They cut remote work in half. 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
2063 Lifeguarding is my side hustle. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2064 I know the memo said “Casual Friday,” but I have to draw the line somewhere. 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
2065 I'm only here for one day. 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
2066 My Doc said "You've gotta get out of your chair!" 1.1444 0.03726 90 77 13 0
2067 I am busy, but I wouldn't exactly say that I'm "swamped". 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
2068 Your pronouns? 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
2069 Don't worry my camera is turned off 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
2070 What? It's a laps-top! 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
2071 I’m here for the diving board meeting. 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
2072 They don’t know that i’m wearing pants 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
2073 FB Friends, This is my office today! 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
2074 Looks like we’re still waiting on Mike to join the call, but let’s go ahead and jump in. 1.1444 0.03726 90 77 13 0
2075 Dude. Stay in your lane! 1.1444 0.03726 90 77 13 0
2076 I'm trying to relax more. 1.1443 0.03587 97 83 14 0
2077 Do yourself a favor and never consider a working vacation. 1.1443 0.03875 97 84 12 1
2078 I'm thinking about throwing in the towel 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
2079 Business up top, party downstairs. 1.1443 0.04394 97 86 8 3
2080 My suit? Filing it right now. 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
2081 We agreed to work from pool one day a week 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
2082 You have to excuse me. I have a "Teams" meeting in a couple of minutes. 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
2083 Thank you for meeting with me on such short notice. I recognize that your time is valuable. 1.1443 0.03875 97 84 12 1
2084 You have no idea what it’s like to be her assistant! 1.1443 0.04394 97 86 8 3
2085 You should have just completed the exit interview at the office then 1.1443 0.03587 97 83 14 0
2086 Oh, I'm new to the secretarial pool. 1.1442 0.04193 104 92 9 3
2087 I finally took the plunge and started by own business. 1.1442 0.04193 104 92 9 3
2088 Let’s take a lap and circle back. 1.1442 0.04193 104 92 9 3
2089 You said you couldn’t answer the survey because you were in the pool. Well, now I’m in the pool. 1.1441 0.04016 111 98 10 3
2090 We're trying to pool our reources. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
2091 I was told remote work is supposed to be more conducive to relaxation. 1.1429 0.04833 84 75 6 3
2092 Not what I meant by 'deep dive', guys 1.1429 0.03929 105 92 11 2
2093 Integrating laps and laptop just seemed natural! 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
2094 What is your current liquidity? 1.1429 0.03929 105 92 11 2
2095 I'm on call. 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
2096 It's an injunction against cannonballs 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
2097 Let’s see if you can get your heart pumping faster — 6 more laps. 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
2098 Hi, I'm Bartleby. My boss told me to go jump in a lake ... this was closer. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
2099 It's a floating solitaire game. 1.1429 0.03431 105 90 15 0
2100 Sidestroke, breaststroke, keystroke. Suit yourself. 1.1429 0.05121 84 76 4 4
2101 Your free trial membership ends in ten minutes. Care to enroll? 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
2102 It is Adult Swim, right?" 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
2103 Please keep it down, I’m presenting to the board. 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
2104 Yes indeed sir, you're looking for our fecal and urinary protection package, which is $15 a month, or $50 for the season. 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
2105 Look, we're no longer underwater and we're hoping to emerge from this entirely. 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
2106 Swimming was my wife's idea. She says I work too hard. 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
2107 Yes it's a lap recording laptop. 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
2108 No need for concern. Zoom makes it look like I'm vacationing at the Golden Gate Bridge. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
2109 It only counts as a half-day of vacation. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
2110 I want to check out if it is water tight while I can still return it. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
2111 On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely are you to recommend this pool to others? 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
2112 Working Remotely 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
2113 I'm from the I.R.S. and since we can't get the shirt off your back, we'll take the bathing suit off the rest. 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
2114 Your mission is to find the culprit who's been peeing in the pool 1.1429 0.05135 77 69 5 3
2115 Have you thought about an extended warranty on your vehicle, sir? 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
2116 I thought this was a laptop lane. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
2117 I think we may be able to claim the pool as a deduction. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
2118 I'm always multitasking. 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
2119 I'm naked from the knees down. 1.1429 0.03689 91 78 13 0
2120 Did you see my jacket? 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
2121 Just stay in your lane friend. 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
2122 It's my personal casual Friday. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
2123 I like to keep my assets liquid. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
2124 I went off the deep end 1.1429 0.04833 84 75 6 3
2125 It’s fine, my background’s blurred. 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
2126 Boss says we need to pool the data together ! 1.1429 0.04833 84 75 6 3
2127 No, I did not take a shower before entering the pool. 1.1429 0.05121 84 76 4 4
2128 Actually this is the only place in the whole resort that I get 5 bars. 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
2129 I'm tired of being told to stay in my lane. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
2130 And how many laps are you claiming on Schedule A? 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
2131 high and dry 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
2132 Your lap swim time has lapsed. 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
2133 HR made me get rid of my treadmill desk. 1.1429 0.04351 98 87 8 3
2134 It's my new stand up desk. Why do you ask? 1.1429 0.03553 98 84 14 0
2135 It's my weekly conference call. 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
2136 My boss told me I needed to be more creative with my Zoom backgrounds. 1.1429 0.04370 105 94 7 4
2137 I’m more productive when I don’t have to stop for restroom breaks. 1.1429 0.04351 98 87 8 3
2138 I keep telling my boss we should consider making casual Friday every day. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
2139 I call it our office pool. 1.1429 0.03929 105 92 11 2
2140 This is not what I thought winning the office pool meant. 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
2141 They said it was adult swim 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
2142 They said they would provide me with immersive technology with my new position. Not quite what I had in mind. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
2143 I consider myself a pioneer in pushing the limits of noise cancellation and background blurring 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
2144 I didn’t take any PTO for this 1.1429 0.05135 77 69 5 3
2145 This is not what I was expecting when my editor said they needed a new pool reporter. 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
2146 I thought remote work would be great for everyone . But then came the on-camera dress code for zoom… If I’d have known, I would have never signed up to be a lifeguard. 1.1429 0.03689 91 78 13 0
2147 I’ve only got a 15 minute break 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
2148 It seems I misunderstood you when you said you ‘needed help with your business’ splash page’… 1.1429 0.04351 98 87 8 3
2149 This way, I don’t have to get up to pee. 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
2150 I'm asking Google why everyone in this pool is white. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
2151 Cesspool. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
2152 I prefer to think of it as ‘work-life buoyancy’ 1.1429 0.05135 77 69 5 3
2153 Work from Pool" day 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
2154 I thought it was laptop swim. 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
2155 To submit your caption, leave it as a comment below with the hashtag 1.1414 0.04543 99 89 6 4
2156 Yes, but at the end of the day, aren’t we all really just a bunch of suits? 1.1414 0.04543 99 89 6 4
2157 My wife was using the tub 1.1413 0.03652 92 79 13 0
2158 You didn't happen to swim into a green Buick? 1.1413 0.04528 92 82 7 3
2159 It's cheaper than a standing desk. 1.1413 0.04784 92 83 5 4
2160 ...and the last four digits of your social security number? 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
2161 It's two hours after eating to swim, three hours after eating to check emails. 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
2162 AND I save on dry cleaning! 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
2163 Yes, I'm an attorney. How did you know? 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
2164 I'm here to help you extend your car warranty. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
2165 I thought you told me to bring my suit. 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
2166 It's the latest trend after "Work from Home." It's called "Work from Vacation." 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
2167 It’s Zoom, you can be anywhere from the waist down. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
2168 I'm not streaming, I'm pooling. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
2169 No, I don't want to play Marco Polo 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
2170 Stop being so shallow, Bob. 1.1413 0.04528 92 82 7 3
2171 Sometimes, I feel like I'm just treading water at work. 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
2172 I can’t explain it. I just excel in the water. 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
2173 You wouldn’t happen to know the wifi password by chance 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
2174 They told me to work harder and keep my head above water 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
2175 I’m sure there are multiple explanations for this red dye cloud. 1.1412 0.04779 85 76 6 3
2176 As I was saying, I’m absolutely drowning in work. 1.1412 0.04779 85 76 6 3
2177 I know you said it was an accident, but as your lawyer I must warn you that peeing in the pool is frowned upon around here. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
2178 I decided that I might as well be literally, instead of merely figuratively, swimming in work. 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
2179 Practicing compassion for clients who homes are flooded. 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
2180 And my title is: 'Wacky Suicide Attempts'. 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
2181 I just need to hop on this zoom meeting and the rest of the day I'm yours. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
2182 Working from home during the summer is highly recommended. 1.1412 0.04779 85 76 6 3
2183 This must be my watershed moment. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
2184 Can you start Monday? If not, there another applicants in the pool. 1.1412 0.04779 85 76 6 3
2185 I used to carpool to work, and then one day it just hit me! 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
2186 Call me crazy now, but I'm definitely being promoted to the jacuzzi 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
2187 It’s actually better for my back 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
2188 One last question and I’ll let you go.. 1.1412 0.04779 85 76 6 3
2189 Because the internet never sleeps, Phil. It keeps going and going and going… 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
2190 I am not wearing a wire. I understand this is classified information, but I just want to retrieve my amazon password. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
2191 To better insure you, we’ll need to see your back-stoke. 1.1412 0.04779 85 76 6 3
2192 I’ve been trying to reach you about your vehicle’s extended warranty. 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
2193 Why would I bring my standing desk on vacation? 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
2194 Any suggestions for a caption for this cartoon I am submitting before I go to work? 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
2195 It's called multi-tasking, my friend. 1.1410 0.05072 78 70 5 3
2196 I'm sorry, but this is the 'checking email' lane." 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
2197 You tell me one more time, 'Relax, Carl, you're on vacation', I'll hack your Facebook page and post a photo of you in that banana hammock. 1.1410 0.05072 78 70 5 3
2198 I’m trading stocks. If they go belly-up, I go belly-up and I feel great. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
2199 Nope, only the part I'm standing in is deductib!e. 1.1410 0.05072 78 70 5 3
2200 Herb, what's with the outfit ? 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
2201 I approve liquid loans. 1.1410 0.05072 78 70 5 3
2202 Looking for a life-work balance. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
2203 Management rejected my suggestion for a jacuzzi in the break room; they offered me this instead. 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
2204 So, what brings you here? 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
2205 Once I file my transfer of workplace request it should all work out swimmingly. 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
2206 We had to expand our investment pool. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
2207 Didn’t you know this is why it’s called a “lap” top? 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
2208 I hope they do not make us return to the office 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
2209 Once in a while I like to work like a fish out of water 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
2210 I’m half ready to admit I’m out of my depth here” 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
2211 The economy took a dip and so did I. 1.1408 0.05418 71 64 4 3
2212 I'm here because you entered into a life insurance pool. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
2213 we've been trying to reach you regarding your extended auto warranty, is now a good time to chat? 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
2214 what are you looking at? This is my kind of exercise... digital. 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
2215 I always have a hard time using the bathroom at work. 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
2216 Let’s soak you a little bit more on management fees.” 1.1400 0.04025 100 88 10 2
2217 Yeah, remote work has really messed up my vacation days 1.1400 0.04025 100 88 10 2
2218 It’s just a ten-minute survey about surveys. 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
2219 I always interview people for my articles in person. 1.1400 0.03487 100 86 14 0
2220 I'm just a little underwater right now. 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
2221 Gotta improve that keystroke! 1.1400 0.04025 100 88 10 2
2222 Do you identfy as wet? 1.1398 0.04481 93 83 7 3
2223 And,I don’t have to waist time on bathroom breaks. 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
2224 They closed the men's washrooms in our office . 1.1398 0.04735 93 84 5 4
2225 It helps keep my hemorrhoids in check.” 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
2226 Me? I’m just here for the free Wi-Fi. 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
2227 I like to believe I'm on a beach in Hawaii 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
2228 I’m a re-moat worker. 1.1398 0.03615 93 80 13 0
2229 Let me know if you need anything looked up. 1.1398 0.03615 93 80 13 0
2230 I thought the ad said show up and do laptops, not laps 1.1398 0.04481 93 83 7 3
2231 Do you want that warranty with the exclusive pool exclusion? 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
2232 It's called "method writing". I'm writing about the recent floods. Not looking forward to the upcoming wildfires. 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
2233 How do you like my new swim suit? 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
2234 As your accountant, I’m not a fan of so much liquidity 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
2235 Everyone at work said the filter backgrounds I use on Zoom are fake 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
2236 working remotely has really freed me up to enjoy the finer things in life. 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
2237 Hybrid work, as in, you can work during your vacation. 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
2238 I am drowning in work lately, came here to make things literal. 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
2239 Knee deep? I think it’s hip deep at this point 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
2240 I AM participating. Just tell me when my kid’s race is up. 1.1395 0.04726 86 77 6 3
2241 It's called part remote work, as in only part of me is working. 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
2242 I'm in liquidity management. 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
2243 Your insurance policy doesn’t cover water in ear. 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
2244 Key strokes ARE strokes. 1.1395 0.04726 86 77 6 3
2245 This poolside Peloton app still needs some wringing-out. 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
2246 In this economy most of my clients are treading water. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
2247 My boss said it was time to really dive in and get my feet wet. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
2248 I won't be long, I'm just here to pee. 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
2249 They don't call it "adult swim" for nothing. 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
2250 Just checking out the applicant pool! 1.1395 0.05007 86 78 4 4
2251 We have a liquidity problem. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
2252 This way, I write shorter emails. 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
2253 Working remotely has its benefits. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
2254 I'm conflicted. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
2255 Breast stroke, key stroke: it's all the same to me. 1.1395 0.04726 86 77 6 3
2256 Pool office is the new black. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
2257 Unlimited PTO's a scam. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
2258 Oh. I thought it was a laps top 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
2259 Summer Fridays are getting weird with the new wfm culture from management. 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
2260 The manager wants us to liquidate our assets. 1.1395 0.04726 86 77 6 3
2261 It’s not too bad. You really save time on bathroom breaks 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
2262 Sorry, I thought this was adult swim 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
2263 I’ve just been put in charge of the weekly office pool. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
2264 My clients insist their investments stay above water at all times. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
2265 What does it look like I’m doing? I’m relaxing. 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
2266 Good morning, sir. Would you care to participate in our survey? 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
2267 You mean this isn’t the secretarial pool? 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
2268 I've double checked your investments and you're definitely under water! 1.1392 0.05010 79 71 5 3
2269 My therapist advised me to get out of the office more. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
2270 I’m day treading. 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
2271 I AM staying in my lane. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
2272 Don’t ask about my bottoms. 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
2273 You saw my email about ‘Walk, Don’t Run’ right? 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
2274 They’re renovating my office upstairs 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
2275 And how many stars would you give this pool on a scale of one to five? 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
2276 Sorry, I’m pretty swamped with work today 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
2277 How do I blur my background? 1.1389 0.03593 108 94 13 1
2278 WORKATION DIP 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
2279 I know. But I’m still struggling with my Work/Life balance, 1.1389 0.03343 108 93 15 0
2280 I really preferred my remote lifeguarding but they are insisting I be present 2 days a week. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
2281 I’m giving online swimming lessons. You interested? 1.1389 0.04046 108 96 9 3
2282 I guard their data. 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
2283 I can't talk now, I'm just swamped. 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
2284 Are you STILL drowning in paperwork Johnson or would you like to join me on this call. 1.1386 0.03988 101 89 10 2
2285 Unlimited paid time off 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
2286 Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one who takes adult swim seriously. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
2287 I’m preparing for work-life balance in the age of global warming. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
2288 This new hybrid work guidance has gotten a little out of hand. 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
2289 I was assigned to the work from home pool today. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
2290 Drowning in work,right upto my waist. 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
2291 No, this is shallow learning. Deep's the other side of the pool. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
2292 Do you know the wifi password? 1.1383 0.03580 94 81 13 0
2293 But I am working from home. 1.1383 0.03580 94 81 13 0
2294 The men's room is closed. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
2295 ...And in your estimation, how deep is the water ? 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
2296 Your mortgage is under water. 1.1383 0.03580 94 81 13 0
2297 I finally decided to join the office pool. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
2298 I'm just cooling off. I'm up to my waist in work. 1.1383 0.04436 94 84 7 3
2299 It's better than drowning in emails. 1.1383 0.04436 94 84 7 3
2300 Sorry I can’t talk right now, I’m drowning in work. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
2301 I’m just multi-tasking 1.1383 0.03580 94 81 13 0
2302 It’s called work life balance, Alan. 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
2303 I’m just really under water at work right now. 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
2304 Hey, I’m workin’ here! 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
2305 im fucking pissing in the pool 1.1383 0.04436 94 84 7 3
2306 I told them it’s a Zoom background. 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
2307 Dirty, smelly and crowded. I give this pool 1 1/2 stars. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
2308 I'm afraid you can't sue your brother for cheating at Marco Polo. 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
2309 Sir, it’s really not that deep. 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
2310 Yeah, I work for the city schools, at this point, I'll take whatever vacation time I can get. 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
2311 My therapist told me to immerse myself in work. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
2312 Now that you've decided to pool your investments... 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
2313 All your investments are underwater. 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
2314 This is Step 3 in my treatment program for my on-line gambling addiction. 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
2315 I messaged you ‘Marco’. Why didn’t you reply ‘Polo’? 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
2316 It's a cummerbund. I'm not actually wearing any pants. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
2317 This isn't what I meant by saying you need more liquidity 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
2318 This isn’t what you meant by work-life balance? 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
2319 So you've led me to water. Now what? 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
2320 Ok, let's get to the details of your investment goals later. Name and address, please? 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
2321 What is your dip code? 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
2322 I heard "wear a suit in the pool." Who knew? 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
2323 It's just a precaution, I am Trump's attorney and my pants are not fire-retardant. 1.1379 0.04674 87 78 6 3
2324 On a scale from 1 to 10, how satisfied are you with the chlorine ratio? 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
2325 It's called swim-formal attire 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
2326 Being productive can cost a life 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
2327 Listen pal, if you can work on your stroke, I can work on mine! 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
2328 I'm conditioning myself for life in the fast lane. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
2329 And if you sign within the next 5 minutes, you get a free scented hostess gift..."This Candle Smells Like My Swimming Pool." 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
2330 This is the area in the resort with the best connection. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
2331 They told me it’s my moment to sink or swim. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
2332 I'm on a watertight deadline. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
2333 Mixing business with pleasure? Just a typical day at the office pool. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
2334 Someone said it was a laptop pool... 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
2335 It's called e-swimming. 1.1375 0.04950 80 72 5 3
2336 They can’t tell I’m wearing swim trunks. 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
2337 Giving the new "work from anywhere" benefit a whirl. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
2338 Now it's a write-off. 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
2339 I work hard, I wade hard. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
2340 I'm much more productive because I don't need to get up to pee. 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
2341 Working from home is so yesterday. 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
2342 Thanks for trying, but I need a hotspot, not just a warm one. 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
2343 And is your family jewels’ portfolio still under water? 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
2344 I’ll be out of here as soon as I log in my times 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
2345 My workplace switched to a work/life integration policy. 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
2346 Do you like my bathing suit? 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
2347 Management told us to take advantage of our remote days. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
2348 the pool is great backdrop for the zoom call on our shallow investment offering 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
2349 I find that being able to pee during my Zoom calls greatly improves my productivity 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
2350 I didn’t have an MBA so they offered me a position in the typing pool 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
2351 I thought it said “Laptop Lane” 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
2352 More than knee deep in work here, Fred. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
2353 don’t worry they’ll just think it’s a Zoom background - I’m on mute. 1.1375 0.04950 80 72 5 3
2354 I just wasn't cut out to be a shark. 1.1373 0.04189 102 91 8 3
2355 Unless you put more into your retirement plan, you’ll have trouble keeping your head above water. 1.1373 0.03697 102 89 12 1
2356 They just told me to clear out and go swim with the rest of the losers. 1.1373 0.03697 102 89 12 1
2357 Damn GPS! 1.1373 0.03951 102 90 10 2
2358 This is a laptop, the best lap. 1.1373 0.03951 102 90 10 2
2359 They called “Adult Swim” before my meeting ended. 1.1373 0.04189 102 91 8 3
2360 Ma’am- you’re interrupting my Zoom background. 1.1373 0.03697 102 89 12 1
2361 As your financial advisor, I just wanted you to know there's a tax write off for your club membership. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
2362 This way I can keep cool, work and play at the same time 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
2363 I was just in the area and wanted to talk to you about a gift to your alma mater. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
2364 ‘Sorry pal, this is the life-on-the-fast-lane-lane’ 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
2365 I’m doing the computer key stroke if you must know. 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
2366 The wifi flows better here 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
2367 I have a very short lunch break. 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
2368 I'm pooling my resources. 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
2369 It's a bit old-fashioned, but I still believe in having a typing pool. 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
2370 I find work-life balance overrated. 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
2371 This is my Baptism of working remotely! 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
2372 The last email said that the Zoom meeting would be in the pool. 1.1368 0.04391 95 85 7 3
2373 I told my boss I needed a better work-life balance. 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
2374 I've just tested our fiber network and confirmed it works across various channels. 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
2375 I misunderstood “office pool”, and now I’m too proud to admit it to my coworkers. 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
2376 . “Sorry, I had to pee.” 1.1368 0.04639 95 86 5 4
2377 I'm working on the company's splash page. 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
2378 My boss told me to get some down time. 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
2379 I WAS up to my eyeballs. 1.1364 0.03679 88 76 12 0
2380 Its alot easier to interview people intheir natural surroundings, but my pants take a beating! 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
2381 Wait,hold on. Let me mute this Zoom. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
2382 It’s one of the seven habits of highly successful people. 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
2383 I needed a good zoom background. 1.1364 0.04623 88 79 6 3
2384 Stay in your swim lane, the boss said. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
2385 We got remote work, but management wouldn't budge on the dress code. 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
2386 Unfortunately, your finances are under water. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
2387 I can't wet my pants, but I can soil them... 1.1364 0.03976 110 98 9 3
2388 How do you spell workaholic? 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
2389 Be honest - do I seem out of place? 1.1364 0.03679 88 76 12 0
2390 I go to great lengths for free WiFi. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
2391 "Sir, please, this is the lap lane, not the laptop lane." 1.1364 0.04623 88 79 6 3
2392 Sorry, this my usual lane. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
2393 What, you've never seen anyone in an office pool? 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
2394 So, as a regular user, would you say that, in a typical week, you come to this pool 1-2 days, 3-5 days, or 6-7 days? 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
2395 The best part about zoom is that I never have to wear anything on the bottom 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
2396 You have to dive in when you have the liquidity. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
2397 I’m practicing the hybrid work environment 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
2398 A consultant recommended that they expand both the office pool and remote work. This is what they came up with. 1.1359 0.03914 103 91 10 2
2399 It helps me relax. 1.1358 0.04892 81 73 5 3
2400 You know what they say, ‘All work and no play…’ 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
2401 My new boss told me to jump in at the deep end. 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
2402 My virtual background is on... 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
2403 I'm out of vacation days. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
2404 I'm swimming laps - virtually.... 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
2405 Do you know how much they charge for office space in New York?! 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
2406 I run the officer pool 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
2407 Since Covid I’ve really enjoyed working from home, so please don’t splash by me. 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
2408 I can get you a lower premium if you can swim a 50 in a minute or less 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
2409 My therapist says I need to connect my leisure life with my work life. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
2410 Work from home allows me to work from anywhere. 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
2411 For later this morning, I am scheduling a skydiving/international board meeting. And then this afternoon, spelunking/virtual chess. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
2412 So, you're going with the 25-year term life insurance? 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
2413 Yes, I did see your out-of-office message. What about it? 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
2414 Pool laps? I heard pool laptops. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
2415 I'm never going back to the office. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
2416 Just make sure to circle back. 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
2417 Let me know when you want to circle back... 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
2418 I hate deadlines on weekends 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
2419 What's a 5-letter word containing the letters s, p and l? 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
2420 Stick to your laps and leave my laptop alone. 1.1354 0.03511 96 83 13 0
2421 It’s not the ideal place for a colonoscopy, but I’m remote only. 1.1354 0.04348 96 86 7 3
2422 You may be afloat but your stock portfolio is under water 1.1354 0.03810 96 84 11 1
2423 I’d like to talk to you about your car’s extended warranty 1.1354 0.04348 96 86 7 3
2424 Not everyone can afford a desk treadmill, Terri. 1.1354 0.03810 96 84 11 1
2425 It’s a sink or swim industry 1.1354 0.03810 96 84 11 1
2426 Yes, the Swiss have a navy, but they're neutral, so stand down! 1.1351 0.05207 74 67 4 3
2427 AI instructed me to 'cool it'. 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
2428 I’m trying to recalibrate my work-life balance. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
2429 The standing desk just wasn’t enough 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
2430 Yes, I did take a shower before getting in the pool. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
2431 FYI, I just peed." 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
2432 They think I'm working from home. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
2433 Actually it's not that difficult to balance vacation with work. I'm standing on my unpaid intern. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
2434 By my calculations you have approximately 5000 more laps to go to achieve your desired weight ! 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
2435 I'm searching videos on how to enjoy time with friends in a swimming pool! 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
2436 Besides break dancing, the Olympics has added aquatic coding. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
2437 My office bathroom is out of order. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
2438 Today was my work from pool day. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
2439 New corporate policy, unlimited vacations. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
2440 This ain't no party, this ain't no disco. This ain't no fooling around. No time for dancing, or lovey-dovey. I ain't got time for that now. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
2441 My battery’s getting low is there an outlet nearby? 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
2442 I’m just answering a few emails- I can stop any time. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
2443 Looks like my investments, and I, are now underwater. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
2444 We can't work from home, but I found a loophole. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
2445 I’m doing a deep search. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
2446 At least I'm not drowning in work. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
2447 I'm just wading through my emails. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
2448 No I can’t come with you on the water slide, some of us have to work for a living 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
2449 I couldn’t figure out how to turn on my Out of Office messages 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
2450 We decided on a more literal approach to liquidating our assets. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
2451 Can I ask you a few questions about your car’s extended warranty? This will just take a minute 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
2452 I'm used to it boss. When I work from home I'm usually in the pool. 1.1346 0.04112 104 93 8 3
2453 Trying to keep my assets very liquid these days 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
2454 I would sweat it; you're not just swimming, but drowning in debt! 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
2455 It's casual Friday. I never wear a jacket for work on those days. 1.1341 0.04835 82 74 5 3
2456 ...Baby steps before I return full time to the office 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
2457 I'm testing the waters on working remotely. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
2458 I'm testing a new drip-dry suit for the government. 1.1341 0.04835 82 74 5 3
2459 My wife insisted I get out of the office and get my feet wet in some kind of recreation, so I'm going her one better. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
2460 Tried the ocean, but settled for the pool to surf the internet. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
2461 It just saeemed appropriate since all of your investments are "under water". 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
2462 And I know enough to keep my rear covered and my head above water. 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
2463 This IS vacation for us at 3M 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
2464 My boss said "I should pool my resources." Rosemary Shannon, Easton, PA 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
2465 It’s okay. I’m not in the deep end. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
2466 No, sir, your policy does not cover drowning, so I'm afraid you'll have to restrict your swimming to the shallow end. 1.1341 0.04835 82 74 5 3
2467 Simple really: Dad’s an accountant. Mom’s a homemaker and mermaid 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
2468 I’m typing as fast as I can. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
2469 The boss told our team to pool our resources to come up with a new idea. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
2470 It hasn't been easy keeping the business above water. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
2471 I’ve been practicing my keystroke 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
2472 Actually, I have my suit on under this “ 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
2473 I’m too far away from the coast to surf the web, so this was the next best thing. 1.1341 0.05137 82 75 3 4
2474 I am almost done floating through these emails 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
2475 I told you I’m always available so let’s go over the differences between whole, universal, and term life insurance so we can lock you down with what works best for your needs 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
2476 Can you stop splashing? I'm trying to send an email. 1.1340 0.03773 97 85 11 1
2477 I work more effectively when I’m wet. 1.1340 0.03773 97 85 11 1
2478 I'm researching the possibility of working while cooling my lower extremities. 1.1340 0.03773 97 85 11 1
2479 Careful, this thing has a lithium battery pack. 1.1340 0.03773 97 85 11 1
2480 Lifeguards also get emails 1.1340 0.03477 97 84 13 0
2481 Do you have a bathing-caps-lock? 1.1340 0.04048 97 86 9 2
2482 I need to gradually convert from office to beach body. 1.1340 0.03477 97 84 13 0
2483 We can't deduct body oil but are you swimming for medical reasons? 1.1340 0.03773 97 85 11 1
2484 Yes, I showered before entering the pool. 1.1340 0.04048 97 86 9 2
2485 Sometimes WFH is WTF. 1.1339 0.04109 112 101 7 4
2486 They've relocated me to the pool to minimize risk. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
2487 It's called work-life balance. 1.1333 0.03603 90 78 12 0
2488 Management is so shallow they think I'm in the office today. 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
2489 Losing count of your laps? 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
2490 Laptop. Why do you ask? 1.1333 0.03603 90 78 12 0
2491 I'm training to be a lobbyist. 1.1333 0.03603 90 78 12 0
2492 The bathroom in my office isn't working. 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
2493 You never completed our post-purchase survey; does your bathing suit fit as described? 1.1333 0.04525 90 81 6 3
2494 Actually, I *won* the office pool. 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
2495 Diving pool, I thought it was the typing pool 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
2496 One day I’ll make partner. 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
2497 Now about your extended car warranty... 1.1333 0.05141 75 68 4 3
2498 Gotta love Summer Fridays... 1.1333 0.04777 75 67 6 2
2499 Sorry. I have no reservation for that name. 1.1333 0.04525 90 81 6 3
2500 Let me just send this last email. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
2501 I'm 'aquacommuting.' Working from home is so 2021. 1.1333 0.05141 75 68 4 3
2502 This is the closest my boss will let me get to a real vacation. 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
2503 Am I not what you expected when you ordered a fitness tracker? 1.1333 0.05480 75 69 2 4
2504 It says you can't get out now, you can't ever get out. 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
2505 It's all about time management. I no longer need to interrupt my workflow for bathroom breaks. 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
2506 I only handle clients who are underwater. 1.1333 0.04793 90 82 4 4
2507 How do I upload a virtual background? 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
2508 Allen Edmonds. Why? 1.1333 0.03603 90 78 12 0
2509 It's my nephew's Bar Mitzvah... 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
2510 Can you not splash? I’m work from Home 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
2511 My boss suggested I use some of my unlimited PTO and take a vacation. 1.1333 0.04525 90 81 6 3
2512 Ya, I use my treadmill desk in the winter time. 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
2513 Since we don’t allow emails to employees on vacation, I thought I’d stop by in person. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
2514 It’s called the circling back-stroke. 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
2515 I heard ‘diving into work’ was the next big trend. Am I doing it right? 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
2516 Don’t be surprised. I’m from the Bay Area. 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
2517 I'm going to be on the TV show 'Shark Tank' next week. Just thought I'd be prepared for anything. 1.1333 0.04777 75 67 6 2
2518 They took my desk, fired me, and suggested I use the office pool if I wanted to be rehired. 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
2519 I’m so fortunate that I can telecommute. 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
2520 I understand what you are saying but I am quite sure you have not explored yet how much ai can improve your swimming skills 1.1327 0.04263 98 88 7 3
2521 „A good work-life balance is very important to me.“ 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
2522 Can you quiet down the kicking a little… everyone on this zoom thinks it’s an artificial background. 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
2523 Be right with you, AI is telling me how to get in the pool and swim 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
2524 Smith, Lombard and Gupta take their typing pool very seriously. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
2525 Would you be willing to work from the office sauna? 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
2526 I like to flirt with stupidity. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
2527 Well, I'd prefer the cloud 1.1325 0.04779 83 75 5 3
2528 The algorithm suggests, lose 20 lbs, eat fava beans, and use flaked Cyprus salt if you want to beat Mrs. Hasbaker in the breaststroke. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
2529 This used to be my office 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
2530 Just a few questions about your experience. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
2531 It’s my first week on the job and my boss wanted to get my feet wet. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
2532 It makes my pool membership deductible. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
2533 I'm on a professional retreat." 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
2534 How would you rate your witness protection program? 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
2535 They expect us to have a professional look when working from home. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
2536 Because I’m a Merman, that’s why! 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
2537 Mr. Knox! Why on earth are you schowing up at work half naked? It’s not like it’s casual Friday or anything! 1.1325 0.04779 83 75 5 3
2538 I hate to say it, but it looks like you're in hot water. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
2539 I could only get you into the high risk pool. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
2540 I’m don’t think I’m asking for a raise this year, Raisin. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
2541 My coworkers asked me to enter the office pool. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
2542 I had to create a hotspot. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
2543 My wife told me I work too much and that I need to go exercise. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
2544 Working from home had too many distractions. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
2545 There's been a noticeable shrinkage in your resources 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
2546 I’m more of a brief’s guy. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
2547 My boss thinks this is just another Zoom background! 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
2548 They were very friendly when I landed the job: when I asked what it would be like, they said 'urine, in the sea, sweet', and this seemed close.'" 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
2549 ChatGPT is teaching me to swim. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
2550 Working from home. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
2551 I'm a consultant for the chlorine industry. 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
2552 As part of your insurance audit, I will just need to know how long you can hold your breath and what your dog paddling endurance is. 1.1324 0.05505 68 62 3 3
2553 I am in a cooling off period 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
2554 and how did you first hear about us 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
2555 I was gonna take this vacation, come hell or deep ends! 1.1321 0.03809 106 94 10 2
2556 This motherfucker. 1.1319 0.04742 91 83 4 4
2557 Employee of the Month" is a stretch goal 1.1319 0.04477 91 82 6 3
2558 It’s a working holiday. I’m evaluating all of my bosses liquid assets… 1.1319 0.04477 91 82 6 3
2559 What makes you think that I'm a type A personality? 1.1319 0.03566 91 79 12 0
2560 Now that we’ve joined the pool, working on the weekend isn’t so bad…. 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
2561 Half of my portfolio is underwater. 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
2562 ...and your retirement fund? 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
2563 I didn't have enough time to get it done at home.... 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
2564 Old man Jones has me swimmin’ in it! 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
2565 Yes, you're the first in line. 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
2566 Working from home is more than sitting in my den. 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
2567 It’s called…research 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
2568 And then, what happened? 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
2569 I’m not sure the working holiday is for me 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
2570 The boss ordered me to provide proof that I take time off. 1.1319 0.04477 91 82 6 3
2571 I have a grant to study immersive experiences. How are you feeling now? 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
2572 I was afraid that the swimming cap was mandatory" 1.1319 0.04742 91 83 4 4
2573 Hey, you gotta pen? 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
2574 The pool concession stand is finally accepting online orders. 1.1319 0.04477 91 82 6 3
2575 'The typing pool!' 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
2576 My IT department hates me. 1.1319 0.03566 91 79 12 0
2577 ...and so, I decided to choose a full remote job... 1.1319 0.04477 91 82 6 3
2578 Boss told me to take a deep dive into misunderstood colloquialisms. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
2579 It’s called laps tops. Great cardio. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
2580 Why no, the gang on the Zoom call cannot see my swim trunks. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
2581 Oh, I'm waiting. My mother said to never swim on a full stomach. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
2582 Oh, this is how Americans spend their PTO. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
2583 This is the lane for laptops. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
2584 There’s no way you can write off a rubber ducky. 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
2585 …and as a member of our healthy lifestyle program, you’re enjoying a sizable discount on your insurance premium for simply agreeing to 24-7 monitoring. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
2586 And would you describe your experience as entirely moist,sufficiently moist,or not moist enough 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
2587 You don't have to invest a lot, just get your feet wet. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
2588 Do you think I should float this proposal? 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
2589 Ever think everyone else is doing Casual Friday wrong? 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
2590 I am trying to strike a balance between back-to-the-office and me-time. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
2591 Ed, as your lawyer, it's what's below the surface of this case that should concern you. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
2592 The boss said I could take a half day. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
2593 You wear pajama bottoms on Zoom, I wear a Speedo. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
2594 Unfortunately Tom, “Being at home in the water,” does not make your pool deductible as a home office. 1.1316 0.05076 76 69 4 3
2595 It's my first day and I'm just supposed to get my feet wet. 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
2596 The company's re-instated the typing pool. 1.1316 0.05076 76 69 4 3
2597 So it’s work hard, THEN play hard? 1.1316 0.05076 76 69 4 3
2598 You're underwater again this year, Mr. Frobish. 1.1313 0.03702 99 87 11 1
2599 I'm on lifeguard duty in 10 minutes but first a Zoom with my other family. 1.1313 0.04222 99 89 7 3
2600 Your mother was right. I did need some time away from the office. 1.1313 0.03970 99 88 9 2
2601 I'm not swimming you're swimming" 1.1313 0.03702 99 87 11 1
2602 Did you just say your business is underwater? 1.1313 0.03970 99 88 9 2
2603 The American on their annual summer holiday. 1.1313 0.03702 99 87 11 1
2604 No swimming for at least 30 minutes after a Zoom call. 1.1313 0.03970 99 88 9 2
2605 I'm Michael Phelps' CPA. 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
2606 Just pooling resources so I don't go under. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
2607 I'm working on my backslash 1.1310 0.04724 84 76 5 3
2608 I was approved for remote-work vacation. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
2609 I’m Trumps latest lawyer, he said I could wash all my lies away in his pool. 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
2610 Someday you'll understand how important my work is. 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
2611 Yes, I'm working from home, why do you ask? 1.1310 0.04724 84 76 5 3
2612 The coffee shop was full. 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
2613 My new job has me one day in the office, three days at home and one day in the pool. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
2614 I can work anywhere, but I can't figure out how to take a day off. 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
2615 The Wi-Fi signal is great right here. 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
2616 So,, you only want swimming insurance with no liability?? 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
2617 What do you mean I need a swimsuit? 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
2618 Is this not the butterfly stroke you said would help with changing my work environment 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
2619 We've been directed to pool resources. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
2620 Well, we have a liquidity problem. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
2621 I couldn’t get my out-of-office reply to work. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
2622 Typing pool, you idiot. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
2623 Are you enjoying your swim? Perhaps you’d like to take our survey? 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
2624 I save a lot of time on bathroom breaks 1.1310 0.04724 84 76 5 3
2625 I don't have a family. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
2626 I never have to go in to the office anymore! 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
2627 Sir, Is there anything that you found unique or different about our water park that stood out for you? 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
2628 The company is bringing me on slowly, apprently they threw the last guy in at the deep end and he didn’t last a day. 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
2629 I get it! You like to your assets to be liquid. 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
2630 What are you doing in the secretarial pool? 1.1304 0.03606 115 102 11 2
2631 They let us work from anywhere now. 1.1304 0.03530 92 80 12 0
2632 Boss is mad that "our loans are underwater," so I thought I'd show some initiative and try to find them 1.1304 0.04431 92 83 6 3
2633 And that’s how I got into liquid assets. 1.1304 0.03530 92 80 12 0
2634 Glad you asked, Polo. It's the latest tech iteration of an old swimming pool game that disturbs no one. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
2635 Vacation? No, I’m working. 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
2636 Yes, they think I'm working from home. No, I. don't have a good story if they want to Zoom. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
2637 I've located a good deal on a set of water wings 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
2638 The office A/C went kaput. 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
2639 The boss told me to get immersed in liquidity ASAP." 1.1304 0.04693 92 84 4 4
2640 Do you mind not splashing so much? 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
2641 My recruiter says they'll be throwing me into the deep end after orientation. 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
2642 They put me in charge of the office pool. 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
2643 Shall I write in freestyle? 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
2644 So… Tell me why you feel qualified to be a lifeguard. 1.1304 0.04431 92 83 6 3
2645 Still wearing my pajama bottoms 1.1304 0.03530 92 80 12 0
2646 Today’s my day off. 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
2647 My wife told me all I do is work, so I’m trying new things 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
2648 I’m trying work/life integration. 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
2649 As your fiduciary, I recommend the backstroke. 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
2650 The situation is fluid. 1.1300 0.03667 100 88 11 1
2651 I’m knee deep in emails and need to dive in, but I’ll circle back to you in ten. 1.1300 0.04181 100 90 7 3
2652 There. Filtered the background and I’m on mute. The remote staff meeting can start as soon as I get that margarita in a coffee cup. 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
2653 I'm on a working vacation. 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
2654 I was going to ask you the same question. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
2655 My boss said to report to the typing pool. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
2656 If you're not gonna wear pants in a meeting, you gotta go big. 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
2657 All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. 1.1299 0.05012 77 70 4 3
2658 Is now a good time to talk about flood insurance? 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
2659 They think it's a funny zoom background. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
2660 I’m an Aquatics Consultant, so this is my work space. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
2661 I’m checking ChatGBT to find out how many yards in a lap 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
2662 No,of course I don’t wear shoes in the swimming pool. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
2663 Today was my turn for the kids car pool swim lessons. 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
2664 Are you wrapping up? My meeting starts in 2 minutes and I need the suit. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
2665 This way I can work nonstop without taking bathroom breaks. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
2666 so the judge, as for my ex-wife request, defined I must spend quality time with my kids on "my" weekends 1.1299 0.05012 77 70 4 3
2667 As your accountant, it is my duty to advise you that you are now considered to be in deep water” Jeffrey Manly Toronto,On 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
2668 Multitasking sounds better in theory than in reality. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
2669 You know, Florida is the only state to offer a swim-up bar exam. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
2670 I’m trying out wetsuits. 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
2671 Just keep swimming, I'm your lifeguard trading futures remotely. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
2672 Before Climate Change, this office looked different. 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
2673 As you can see from these numbers, we’re doing swimmingly. 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
2674 Emails can’t swim, Carl. 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
2675 All they said was “You’re reassigned to the clerical pool and get to work immediately.” 1.1296 0.03742 108 96 10 2
2676 Sorry, Certified Public Accountants don't get into the swim of things. 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
2677 Headquarters believes it will make audits less stressful. 1.1294 0.04671 85 77 5 3
2678 You picked a good time to dive into home ownership. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
2679 They'll never think to look for me here. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
2680 With ChatGPT, I can both save lives and guard lifesavings. 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
2681 I am with the CIA. Hunter's laptop was at the bottom of this pool . He forgot it there while bathing nude with a hooker. Nothing to see there. 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
2682 They say it’s ok that I ‘work from home’ as long as I wear a tie. 1.1294 0.04671 85 77 5 3
2683 I'm testing a product that turns water pink when someone takes a whiz 1.1294 0.04671 85 77 5 3
2684 For our travel website, could you describe the water? 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
2685 When you mentioned your liquid assets, this isn't what I had in mind. 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
2686 This wasn't what I had in mind when I suggested you liquify some of your assets. 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
2687 I was promoted to the secretary pool. 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
2688 We’re liquidating the company. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
2689 I work in the typing pool. 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
2690 I'm part of a government study on why people swim in pools. Wynnie Plocher, Beaverton, Oregon 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
2691 I’ve decided to not make any waves 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
2692 I’m taking a bath in this market. You? 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
2693 Shhh…they think I’m working from home. 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
2694 As you can see, we've had a lot of interest in the lifeguard position. 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
2695 In this economy my business is treading water. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
2696 No, no, I’m still very much on vacation 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
2697 My boss said I was going to swim with the big sharks, so I need all the practice I can get. 1.1290 0.04385 93 84 6 3
2698 If the water seems warmer over here it's because of the laptop. I swear. 1.1290 0.04385 93 84 6 3
2699 Management wants us to cut down on bathroom breaks, 1.1290 0.03495 93 81 12 0
2700 I was told to get all the water logged. 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
2701 I can't wait to go back to the office five days a week. 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
2702 Could you take a minute to answer a few questions? 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
2703 The best thing about being a grad student is the work/life balance. 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
2704 I'm working on my next article about avoiding executive burnout. 1.1290 0.03495 93 81 12 0
2705 Trying to get in shape for surfing the Internet. 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
2706 I got comfortable with working remotely but couldn’t ditch the suit and tie. 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
2707 I’m sorry, this pool is for accredited investors only.” 1.1290 0.04385 93 84 6 3
2708 Competition is fierce in real estate these days, so I thought I'd try a new approach. Are you ready to take the plunge? 1.1290 0.03495 93 81 12 0
2709 Sir, i ask that you please stop peeing in my office. 1.1290 0.04385 93 84 6 3
2710 This way I don't have to stop working to relieve myself. 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
2711 It's called "Splash". 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
2712 I'm a health inspector who just sunk to a new low. 1.1290 0.04644 93 85 4 4
2713 There's no Wi-Fi in the deep end. 1.1290 0.04385 93 84 6 3
2714 I told my boss I was drowning in work so he told me to just keep my head above water. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
2715 I'm just kind of testing the limits of 'casual Fridays'. 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
2716 I realized I'm not spending enough time with the children. 1.1290 0.04385 93 84 6 3
2717 I took a deep dive into the matter and need to share my findings immediately. 1.1287 0.03632 101 89 11 1
2718 I’’m a pool attorney. 1.1287 0.03632 101 89 11 1
2719 My clients are getting harder and harder to meet in person 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
2720 This survey will only take two minutes and will help management understand what swimmers like you really want. So, how often do you come here? 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
2721 A treadmill desk hurts my knee. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
2722 I don't care how many "likes" we'll get. If one of them starts doing a dead man's float, I'm getting the hell out of here! 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
2723 For God sake, Harris, how can you be so shallow? 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
2724 And with that you are all set, thank you for choosing Splash & Tax Services 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
2725 I actually *did* book this space at 9am 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
2726 I feel casual Fridays have gotten out of hand. 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
2727 I just feel naked without the old school tie. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
2728 At work, I’m just trying to keep my head above water. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
2729 I'm working remoat. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
2730 They said I should bring my suit? 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
2731 …and unlimited Digital Access, Plus a FREE Tote! 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
2732 There's no WiFi, but the bathroom is everywhere. 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
2733 I've been treading water here for too long. I'm gonna dive in at the deep end. 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
2734 My wife says I need to get better at multi-tasking. 1.1282 0.04950 78 71 4 3
2735 I'm on Zoom so... 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
2736 I know I agreed to go to the pool with you but I have a zoom meeting I have to take. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
2737 Boss said I needed to get my feet wet. 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
2738 Membership is a fixed cost. By maximizing my frequency of pool use, the cost per visit is reduced. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
2739 Take a number and we’ll be with you in a jiffy! 1.1282 0.05276 78 72 2 4
2740 I heard this was a good place to get some laps, so I brought my laptop. 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
2741 I’m sorry son, but this was the only way we could be together on Father’s Day this year. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
2742 I get unlimited PTO and unlimited work 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
2743 When I said "drowning in debt" I thought you would know better 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
2744 What do you mean ? It‘s Monday, this is my lane! 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
2745 It's okay. I set my Zoom background to "Sunny Beach Retreat" and told them I'm playing "Poolside ASMR." 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
2746 It’s a workcation. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
2747 Don't worry, by background is blurred. 1.1279 0.04619 86 78 5 3
2748 For the record, what’s your take on the flooded pool at Mar-a-Lago? 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
2749 No