Contest #840


Cartoon

840


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started -
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued -
Number of captions 5832
Number of responses 730960
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 The label said 'Lay flat to iron." 1.7677 0.02017 1597 747 474 376
1 I'm still taking you to the cleaners. 1.7655 0.02002 1616 757 481 378
2 Now might be a good time to grab that sock behind the washer. 1.7299 0.01741 2051 989 627 435
3 It looks like you ran out of steam. 1.7254 0.01972 1537 728 503 306
4 So it really did kill him to help with the ironing once in a while. 1.7247 0.01697 2241 1116 626 499
5 I said don't flatter yourself 1.6881 0.02023 1494 762 436 296
6 You know I think that suit does make you look slimmer. 1.6800 0.01895 1547 756 530 261
7 You’re sleeping on the hanger tonight. 1.6737 0.01364 2942 1442 1018 482
8 This is your iron man training? 1.6724 0.02039 1404 715 434 255
9 I'm quite sure I said "iron it yourself", not "iron yourself!" 1.6517 0.01900 1562 807 492 263
10 THAT does not make you Iron Man any more than THIS makes me Cat Woman. 1.6474 0.01973 1520 812 432 276
11 You have to take it off first, Jim 1.6461 0.01960 1475 771 455 249
12 That's not what the doctor meant by your needing more iron. 1.6432 0.02501 880 455 284 141
13 No one will be able to tell over Zoom. 1.6360 0.02220 1140 603 349 188
14 You still have some wrinkles on your forehead. 1.6350 0.01882 1567 825 489 253
15 Do you have any other pressing engagements? 1.6315 0.02294 1053 557 327 169
16 Just remember to fold yourself up when you're done. 1.6184 0.02398 933 496 297 140
17 On the bright side, it’s not *permanent* press. 1.6170 0.01806 1590 833 533 224
18 Even if you fit in my suitcase, I am not taking you with me! 1.6162 0.02474 904 490 271 143
19 You've got to stop spreading yourself too thin. 1.6139 0.02523 821 434 270 117
20 OK Salvador Dali. It's already been done. 1.6078 0.02342 979 530 303 146
21 Ironically, I'm impressed! 1.6034 0.02885 653 358 196 99
22 Ironically this adds a serious wrinkle to our relationship 1.6016 0.02294 1024 561 310 153
23 He loved Salvador Dali 1.6010 0.01853 1554 848 478 228
24 Ok, Iron Man. Now use your superpowers to do the sheets. 1.5999 0.01958 1427 790 418 219
25 You had one job. 1.5974 0.02167 1150 635 343 172
26 Was that you banging inside the dryer? 1.5932 0.01508 2318 1274 713 331
27 You’re not the only one with pressing business to attend to, Frank. 1.5914 0.01957 1351 738 427 186
28 I meant iron out OUR issues 1.5875 0.01852 1503 825 473 205
29 I still don't believe you're straight. 1.5860 0.01929 1517 872 401 244
30 Should I call 911 or gently spray you with water? 1.5803 0.02344 922 508 293 121
31 Honey, why don’t you just try diet and exercise? 1.5793 0.01826 1973 1238 327 408
32 If you'll roll over I'll iron the back. 1.5793 0.02421 889 497 269 123
33 Sure I said we could iron things out but… 1.5742 0.01935 1266 684 437 145
34 You have to take it off first. 1.5741 0.02398 911 515 269 127
35 When you said that you were pressed for time, I had no idea…. 1.5740 0.02117 1115 617 356 142
36 This is not what i meant by “iron things out” 1.5733 0.02535 778 431 248 99
37 Ok that's it! Back to you take out the trash and I do the laundry. 1.5704 0.02060 1194 669 369 156
38 This isn't what I meant by 'repressed.' 1.5697 0.02444 904 522 249 133
39 You're wearing that tie with that shirt again? 1.5682 0.02720 762 450 191 121
40 And yet he makes fun of my driving. 1.5663 0.02441 927 544 241 142
41 I'll fold. 1.5619 0.01843 1550 896 437 217
42 Great, it looks like you’ve ironed out most of your issues. 1.5536 0.02546 746 421 237 88
43 Let me guess. Your mom did all your laundry. 1.5522 0.02020 1273 743 357 173
44 Well, hello Dali! 1.5509 0.02207 1169 713 268 188
45 Typical guy ploy: do it wrong the first time, never asked to do it again 1.5484 0.02113 1220 732 307 181
46 I'll get the bicycle pump 1.5390 0.02311 924 539 272 113
47 I won’t take much of your time, I can see you’re pressed. 1.5327 0.02299 963 575 263 125
48 Well, at least it's better than the vacuum incident. 1.5326 0.02200 1029 609 292 128
49 Now that is just flat-out stupid. 1.5319 0.02491 814 485 225 104
50 Don't worry, I'll still love you when you have wrinkles. 1.5310 0.02273 983 588 268 127
51 The problem is that you have no backbone. 1.5295 0.03069 508 297 153 58
52 I see why your first wife took you to the cleaners. 1.5290 0.02404 947 587 219 141
53 Don't forget to hang yourself up before you wrinkle. 1.5273 0.02473 787 463 233 91
54 Ben, wood or wire? I have both. 1.5271 0.02399 867 518 241 108
55 Impressive. Now let’s see you fold the fitted sheet. 1.5260 0.02175 941 538 311 92
56 I told them you're flat out 'til next Tuesday. 1.5257 0.02586 719 424 212 83
57 The cat wants to know if she can lie on you now... 1.5242 0.02513 805 487 214 104
58 Next time just ask me. 1.5228 0.02433 813 482 237 94
59 It works better with the suit off. 1.5226 0.02570 731 434 212 85
60 Well, ironically… 1.5220 0.02657 728 444 188 96
61 I'm glad to see you've ironed things out. 1.5197 0.02534 710 414 223 73
62 Try hanging yourself in the shower next time. 1.5175 0.02405 800 471 244 85
63 The doctor just said you had an iron deficiency... 1.5173 0.02400 837 501 239 97
64 You are such an idiot. Get back in the dryer to fluff up a bit. 1.5168 0.02658 685 411 194 80
65 You have issues, Frank. Pressing issues. 1.5139 0.02467 864 539 206 119
66 I said, "You should be flattered!" 1.5131 0.02525 803 496 202 105
67 This is your idea of straightening yourself out? 1.5130 0.02469 848 526 209 113
68 I liked you better wrinkled. 1.5126 0.02646 675 404 196 75
69 Paul and Linda called to invite us to dinner but I told them you were flat out. 1.5111 0.02677 673 407 188 78
70 I'm not sure this saves as much time as you think. 1.5110 0.02702 681 417 180 84
71 Well, my mother always said you were two dimensional. 1.5084 0.02496 775 471 214 90
72 I see you’ve finally straightened yourself out. 1.5073 0.02567 749 460 198 91
73 You are spreading yourself too thin, Myron 1.5066 0.02505 760 461 213 86
74 Good thing that isn’t permanent press. 1.5065 0.02553 691 410 212 69
75 Well, that got rid of your potbelly. 1.5065 0.02706 620 369 188 63
76 I think you are going overboard, Stanley. 1.5062 0.02737 648 396 176 76
77 Darling, you missed the wrinkles on your forehead 1.5061 0.03821 330 201 91 38
78 So what did you have to do that was so pressing? 1.5030 0.02607 662 395 201 66
79 Roll over, I'll do your back. 1.5030 0.02773 676 427 158 91
80 This isn't what I meant when I said we could iron things out... 1.5015 0.02682 688 427 177 84
81 You should have Googled “Iron Man Contest,” before you started. 1.5013 0.02629 774 496 168 110
82 When I said we need to iron things out, I didn’t mean literally. 1.5007 0.02627 685 418 191 76
83 A good steam is so relaxing. 1.4992 0.02623 641 382 198 61
84 The perfect man! He's well-dressed and does his own ironing. 1.4969 0.02730 636 391 174 71
85 Hon, we were supposed iron out our problems together. 1.4961 0.02678 647 395 183 69
86 I told you to not use the self ironing function! 1.4955 0.02973 559 350 141 68
87 We're out of cat food 1.4955 0.03096 555 358 119 78
88 Oh honey, this isn’t how we iron out our problems. 1.4946 0.02893 560 344 155 61
89 Just admit you have no idea what you're doing. 1.4941 0.02764 674 430 155 89
90 That's still not irony. 1.4924 0.02910 589 372 144 73
91 I said "iron *it* yourself" 1.4912 0.02969 568 360 137 71
92 Too much softener, not enough starch. 1.4891 0.02761 552 329 176 47
93 it's a no-iron shirt, Brian 1.4875 0.02797 601 374 161 66
94 Don't expect me to fold you. 1.4875 0.02804 599 373 160 66
95 You are the reason they put warning labels on everything. 1.4874 0.02861 634 410 139 85
96 That's ironic 1.4865 0.02816 629 401 150 78
97 Get up, Salvador Dali, you’ll be late for work. And dont forget your melted stopwatch. 1.4846 0.02916 551 344 147 60
98 Honey, nobody irons anymore. 1.4826 0.02819 574 356 159 59
99 You used “ironic” wrong, again. 1.4815 0.02805 648 420 144 84
100 Is this what you meant by a pressing engagement? 1.4814 0.02763 590 365 166 59
101 You folded like a cheap suit, pathetic. 1.4797 0.03031 517 327 132 58
102 Tricky. Now try folding a fitted sheet. 1.4783 0.02937 554 352 139 63
103 Let me guess, you were pressed for time? 1.4754 0.02956 549 351 135 63
104 Once again, you've misconstrued what I meant by 'irony'. 1.4744 0.03141 527 348 108 71
105 ”I see you just couldn’t wait to try the new iron with the AI option. 1.4738 0.03214 458 292 115 51
106 Apparently you have an iron deficiency. 1.4737 0.03011 570 376 118 76
107 Well, of course, I can’t miss the irony. 1.4735 0.02995 528 337 132 59
108 Why the long face? 1.4722 0.03100 504 325 120 59
109 John, for the last time, wrinkles are a part of getting older. Deal with it. 1.4704 0.03158 523 348 104 71
110 Extreme irony doesn’t suit you. 1.4688 0.03132 497 323 115 59
111 Darling, that's not the kind of Iron Man I'm waiting for 1.4680 0.03068 453 281 132 40
112 You’re supposed to take the suit off first 1.4679 0.03088 498 321 121 56
113 Fair job, but you’ve got to put a crease in those pants. 1.4678 0.03044 419 252 138 29
114 When I said I wanted an "iron man", this is not what I meant. 1.4676 0.03150 479 309 116 54
115 Get in the dryer. I'll run you through the fluff cycle. 1.4665 0.03201 463 299 112 52
116 This feels a little surreal. You ironed? 1.4662 0.02715 517 310 173 34
117 When I said 'clean and press' I meant the suit, just the suit. 1.4647 0.03153 439 276 122 41
118 Will you be ready for pickup on Thursday?” 1.4630 0.03065 460 289 129 42
119 That's perfect darling. Now fold yourself into the third drawer and I'll see you when I get back from work. 1.4626 0.03087 495 321 119 55
120 You missed your forehead. 1.4625 0.03237 467 307 104 56
121 Honey, I don't think you used the polyester setting. 1.4623 0.03215 411 257 118 36
122 Don’t forget to fold. 1.4623 0.03015 517 335 125 57
123 So here's the wrinkle... 1.4614 0.03270 414 263 111 40
124 You could have been hung out to dry, but no, you had to press for more. 1.4594 0.03357 468 318 85 65
125 I need you to get something that rolled under the fridge. 1.4571 0.03020 466 294 131 41
126 Honey, when the tag says lie flat...... 1.4553 0.03306 459 308 93 58
127 Make sure you remember to unplug that when you're done. 1.4553 0.03144 459 297 115 47
128 Should I store you on a hanger or in a box? 1.4543 0.03109 427 268 124 35
129 Sure, you’re spineless. But you’re also a snappy dresser. 1.4537 0.03211 421 269 113 39
130 I see you found the Dali setting. 1.4521 0.03624 376 252 78 46
131 My first husband was wash and wear. 1.4517 0.03037 445 280 129 36
132 You know, sometimes it's better not to strike when the iron's hot. 1.4494 0.03167 445 289 112 44
133 And now you know why you're not allowed to use the vacuum. 1.4487 0.03260 448 298 99 51
134 Men!...They always think they know what they're doing. 1.4474 0.03295 409 266 103 40
135 But I loved your wrinkles." 1.4468 0.03301 423 279 99 45
136 I can tell you’re pretty steamed. 1.4465 0.03415 383 250 95 38
137 I'll bet you're really impressed with yourself, aren't you? 1.4464 0.03300 392 252 105 35
138 Depressed? 1.4463 0.03527 354 230 90 34
139 Did you get all the kinks out yet? 1.4459 0.03363 388 252 99 37
140 What I said was,"Iron it yourself", not "Iron yourself". 1.4450 0.03453 409 276 84 49
141 Together! We were supposed to iron out our differences together! 1.4447 0.03530 389 262 81 46
142 Still feeling flat? 1.4436 0.03325 381 245 103 33
143 Great. Now if you could only get the crease out of your brow. 1.4433 0.03402 397 263 92 42
144 Not the tie. It has polyester 1.4431 0.03197 413 266 111 36
145 Honey, that's not what the mean by "lay flat to dry." 1.4429 0.03249 429 283 102 44
146 Still wanna go with ‘how hard can it be?’ 1.4427 0.03686 375 258 68 49
147 No amount of ironing will give you a backbone,honey. 1.4420 0.03596 371 250 78 43
148 You forgot the fluff setting again didn't you? 1.4417 0.03549 369 246 83 40
149 He was pressed for time. 1.4411 0.03404 365 236 97 32
150 I don't think that's what the label meant by 'Lay flat to dry.' 1.4395 0.03590 380 259 75 46
151 Yes, I think you’ll win the limbo contest this year. 1.4380 0.03482 363 239 89 35
152 Don't you see the irony? 1.4365 0.03244 417 275 102 40
153 When you said you had pressing urges, I imagined something quite other. 1.4364 0.03262 401 262 103 36
154 No wonder your boss walks all over you. 1.4359 0.03593 390 270 70 50
155 I love your sense of self-irony. 1.4354 0.03727 356 245 67 44
156 Honestly, Brian, how many times have I told you to press them BEFORE you put them on? 1.4354 0.03270 379 244 105 30
157 When I said we should iron out our differences, you didn't have to take it so literally. 1.4346 0.03251 382 246 106 30
158 Iron first, get dressed second. How hard is that? 1.4339 0.03543 378 257 78 43
159 Well I hate to think what would have happened if I had said we need to hammer out a deal instead. 1.4328 0.03901 335 234 57 44
160 The irony is that all your clothes are permanent press. 1.4328 0.03311 372 241 101 30
161 I’m getting tired of your dramatic ironing. 1.4327 0.03247 379 244 106 29
162 You're right. That suit does make you look thinner. 1.4313 0.03382 371 244 94 33
163 It worked on TikTok. 1.4295 0.03788 298 197 74 27
164 OK, fine, that suit does make you look thinner. 1.4294 0.03570 347 232 81 34
165 So much for ironing with your clothes on - Mr. Efficiency Expert! 1.4277 0.03534 332 218 86 28
166 You're supposed to take it off first. 1.4261 0.03169 352 221 112 19
167 I think you are spreading yourself too thin. 1.4260 0.03742 331 226 69 36
168 The doctor's office is closed but I think we can slip you under the door into his waiting room. 1.4259 0.03526 371 253 78 40
169 Let me get you a viagra . 1.4257 0.03774 296 196 74 26
170 What I said was "Iron it yourself" 1.4255 0.03783 329 226 66 37
171 Would you like me to do your back? 1.4246 0.03488 358 240 84 34
172 I meant Before you put it on! 1.4242 0.05902 132 90 28 14
173 So much for reading the clothing care labels 1.4224 0.03680 303 200 78 25
174 Todd, when you told me you were pressed for time … 1.4216 0.03228 370 240 104 26
175 It ‘s not what I meant when I said “We need to iron a few things out! 1.4213 0.03500 356 240 82 34
176 I don't know what you think you're doing, that's not even plugged in. 1.4211 0.03617 361 250 70 41
177 We have very different ideas of letting off steam. 1.4205 0.03332 371 246 94 31
178 You want to hang out? 1.4192 0.03815 291 195 70 26
179 Smooth, real smooth 1.4184 0.03702 282 184 78 20
180 I hope you didn't select "Permanent Press." 1.4177 0.03786 328 228 63 37
181 I should've taken you to the cleaners when I had the chance. 1.4164 0.03589 317 211 80 26
182 You lack depth, Gary. 1.4151 0.03949 318 226 52 40
183 Don’t tell me you kept the chocolate bars in your pocket. 1.4146 0.03476 328 217 86 25
184 And you wonder why I don’t let you have a gun. 1.4137 0.04163 278 196 49 33
185 So you're still being ironic? 1.4132 0.03723 317 217 69 31
186 Darling, I wish you would stop trying to impress me. 1.4132 0.03678 288 190 77 21
187 I’m totally pressed for time! 1.4130 0.04002 293 205 55 33
188 There’s gotta be a better way to make you look taller. 1.4128 0.03923 298 207 59 32
189 Turn over. I'll do your back. 1.4120 0.03746 284 189 73 22
190 Very funny, Salvador... 1.4116 0.03856 311 217 60 34
191 That’s just like you to bend over backwards to press your point. 1.4116 0.03605 311 208 78 25
192 Honey, stop. I got the door open. 1.4107 0.03568 336 229 76 31
193 I suppose you want me to do the hand? 1.4099 0.03679 322 221 70 31
194 You're taking me a bit too literally, but I'm glad you've ironed things out. 1.4096 0.03600 293 193 80 20
195 Would an antidepressant help? 1.4084 0.03515 311 206 83 22
196 I just wanted you to do more chores around the house, not be a total doormat. 1.4080 0.03764 299 204 68 27
197 Appointment in the Flat Iron Building today, dear? 1.4078 0.03676 309 210 72 27
198 I thought we agreed to iron it out together. 1.4076 0.03578 314 211 78 25
199 That's the easy part. Now flip over. 1.4073 0.03463 329 220 84 25
200 I just said we should iron things out. 1.4073 0.03896 275 187 64 24
201 With you, everything is pressing. 1.4061 0.03712 330 231 64 35
202 If you were better at grammar, you'd know that the instruction 'lay flat on the ironing board' was not referring to you. 1.4058 0.03912 313 223 53 37
203 So, my mother was here and you ironed out your differences? 1.4056 0.03588 323 220 75 28
204 Do you remember where I put your hangar? 1.4052 0.03703 269 177 75 17
205 Next time, just hop in the dryer with a damp sock. 1.4050 0.03854 279 190 65 24
206 That's not what I meant when I said we needed to iron things out. 1.4049 0.03770 326 230 60 36
207 Honey, not all the irons in the world will ever make you straight. 1.4043 0.03592 329 226 73 30
208 And this, rescue kitty, is our flatmate. 1.4042 0.03809 287 196 66 25
209 You just have to ask yourself, "Was the time I saved really worth it?" 1.4039 0.03804 307 214 62 31
210 You win. Stick to drying the dishes. 1.4036 0.04060 275 193 53 29
211 Is this your first time? 1.4034 0.03781 290 198 67 25
212 This answers the question, would it kill a man to pick up an iron? 1.4029 0.04154 278 199 46 33
213 Very nice...but you're still going to my mother's. 1.4029 0.04185 278 200 44 34
214 Next time, do it BEFORE you put them on. 1.4022 0.03791 271 182 69 20
215 What can I say say, Fluffy? I told him it’s easy to press a suit laying flat on the ironing board, but…. 1.4021 0.03849 286 197 63 26
216 Very funny. We still have to have dinner with my mother. 1.4020 0.03632 296 199 75 22
217 Perhaps a little starch? 1.4010 0.04556 192 130 47 15
218 I was thinking a whole different kind of “steamy” 1.4007 0.03901 287 200 59 28
219 I’m pressed for time. 1.4000 0.03958 265 182 60 23
220 When I said we could iron things out,I didn't mean to such an extreme. 1.4000 0.03545 310 209 78 23
221 You win. Irony is not dead. 1.3993 0.03765 298 206 65 27
222 I’m just glad I didn’t ask you to mow the lawn. 1.3993 0.03859 278 191 63 24
223 I'll need to know your blood type before you hem the pants. 1.3984 0.04152 251 175 52 24
224 They’ll walk all over you at the office. 1.3978 0.03863 274 188 63 23
225 You know that suit is dry clean only. 1.3977 0.03908 259 176 63 20
226 Now isn’t this ironic. 1.3974 0.03713 307 213 66 28
227 This is what happens when you can’t stop pressing your point. 1.3969 0.03810 257 172 68 17
228 Oh, there you are. So how did lunch with my mother go? 1.3964 0.04064 280 200 49 31
229 You're supposed to take them off first. 1.3964 0.03735 280 190 69 21
230 I said, I’m into washboard abs. Not ironing board abs. 1.3955 0.03886 268 184 62 22
231 That's why I said - Go easy on the fabric softener! 1.3951 0.03914 243 163 64 16
232 You still have wrinkles on your face. 1.3948 0.04129 271 194 47 30
233 Honey, how did it go on Meet the Press? 1.3939 0.04060 297 217 43 37
234 I think you need to do your forehead again. 1.3936 0.03714 282 192 69 21
235 What were you thinking, Fred? It’s Casual Friday. 1.3925 0.03987 265 185 56 24
236 You could have just jumped in the dryer and let it run for a few minutes. 1.3921 0.03818 278 192 63 23
237 Botox also works. 1.3919 0.03746 296 206 64 26
238 I didn't think you even knew where I kept the iron. 1.3918 0.03736 268 181 69 18
239 Don’t flatter yourself; I’m still taking you to the cleaners. 1.3912 0.03855 294 208 57 29
240 You used to be so well-rounded. 1.3902 0.04043 246 170 56 20
241 We're all out of starch. Would you like a blue pill? 1.3900 0.04013 259 181 55 23
242 Flexibility has always been your long suit. 1.3889 0.03753 288 200 64 24
243 Great, you ruined a perfectly good husband 1.3887 0.03666 283 193 70 20
244 I know you said we would iron things out but really.... 1.3887 0.03989 247 170 58 19
245 Are you done with the iron? 1.3886 0.04115 229 157 55 17
246 The suit helps, but you still look spineless. 1.3875 0.03961 289 208 50 31
247 Mansplain this to me! 1.3871 0.04137 248 175 50 23
248 I guess it would kill you to do more housework. 1.3866 0.04048 238 164 56 18
249 Bad news... Tony Stark called and he's taking the project in a completely different direction. 1.3861 0.04046 259 183 52 24
250 'Did you get it all ironed out?' 1.3856 0.03890 236 159 63 14
251 Jack, I said my fantasy was Iron Man, NOT an Ironed Man! 1.3855 0.04048 262 186 51 25
252 When they say we’ll iron this out, I don’t think this is what they meant. 1.3849 0.03757 265 181 66 18
253 Another YouTube tutorial? 1.3849 0.04010 278 200 49 29
254 How's hot yoga going? 1.3846 0.03996 260 183 54 23
255 What could be more pressing? 1.3841 0.04960 151 103 38 10
256 I guess you were pressed for time? 1.3833 0.03977 240 165 58 17
257 Jeremy Irons himself 1.3833 0.04707 227 170 27 30
258 Really Stan, I'm beginning to see why my mother finds you spineless. 1.3826 0.04277 230 163 46 21
259 When you’re done here, I need you to get an earring that fell behind the dresser. 1.3825 0.04211 251 181 44 26
260 Don’t flatter yourself, honey. 1.3821 0.04156 246 175 48 23
261 You forgot the collar. 1.3817 0.04258 241 173 44 24
262 This isn’t what I meant by let’s try ironing out our problems. 1.3813 0.03832 257 177 62 18
263 As if you're the only person with pressing needs! 1.3810 0.04305 231 165 44 22
264 Honey, why don't you just use Botox? 1.3810 0.04414 210 148 44 18
265 I know you’re flat-out lying. 1.3808 0.04158 239 169 49 21
266 Oh yeah. My hero. Ironed man. 1.3806 0.04061 247 174 52 21
267 That suit does make you look thinner! 1.3800 0.04144 250 179 47 24
268 I was thinking linguine for dinner. 1.3799 0.03401 279 185 82 12
269 Just what our relationship needs, more irony. 1.3797 0.04171 266 195 41 30
270 I told you I'd be home in 5 minutes. 1.3782 0.03327 312 211 84 17
271 . John, you missed a spot 1.3780 0.03584 291 201 70 20
272 I'm leaving you, Tom. I need someone with more depth. 1.3780 0.04094 254 182 48 24
273 I'm still not sure you'll fit in the overhead bin. 1.3775 0.04074 249 177 50 22
274 No, I don’t think that’s how he became Iron Man. 1.3770 0.04000 252 178 53 21
275 I knew it: Mr. Green in the laundry room with the iron. 1.3768 0.03990 276 200 48 28
276 This is not what I mean when I said you need to straighten yourself out. 1.3760 0.04031 242 170 53 19
277 I know I said we had to iron out our differences, but? 1.3755 0.04098 229 160 52 17
278 Is this your idea of dramatic ironing? 1.3755 0.03524 277 188 74 15
279 See, Fluffy? I put the iron in his hand and it'll look like suicide. 1.3750 0.04064 272 199 44 29
280 You really have no idea what a press secretary does, do you? 1.3750 0.04413 232 170 37 25
281 Iron Man, you clearly are not. 1.3750 0.03922 240 166 58 16
282 I think you misunderstood what I meant by flattery. 1.3745 0.04008 251 178 52 21
283 What about MY pressing needs...?! 1.3739 0.04162 238 170 47 21
284 I know they said it was so easy a man could do it. 1.3730 0.04112 252 182 46 24
285 Or, we could just bite the bullet & pay the checked luggage fee. 1.3728 0.04424 228 167 37 24
286 Ironic? I was thinking moronic. 1.3728 0.03888 279 201 52 26
287 We’ll reinflate him the next time we need a good man around the house. Until then it’s just the two of us living the life. 1.3711 0.03909 256 181 55 20
288 I'm not falling for your weaponized incompetence. 1.3710 0.03744 248 170 64 14
289 As usual, you've gone way overboard. 1.3708 0.04005 240 169 53 18
290 Damn, I wish I had checked his care label before I married him. 1.3707 0.04477 205 147 40 18
291 You still haven’t convinced me that you get irony. 1.3705 0.04297 224 161 43 20
292 I just want you to know, Mittens is exercising a lot of restraint right now. 1.3705 0.04121 251 182 45 24
293 Nice try, we're still going out to dinner with my mom. 1.3704 0.04555 216 159 34 23
294 Very nice now get up and go to work 1.3701 0.05568 127 90 27 10
295 The massage therapist is booked for the next two weeks, but it looks like you ironed out some kinks yourself. 1.3701 0.03641 254 173 68 13
296 That does it...I fold 1.3696 0.04031 230 161 53 16
297 Can't we just iron this out. 1.3692 0.04237 214 151 47 16
298 Flat Stanley! You’re back! 1.3682 0.04205 220 156 47 17
299 Why don’t you just come flat out and say it? 1.3680 0.03808 269 191 57 21
300 If this isn't an argument for Return to Office I don't know what is. 1.3679 0.04495 193 137 41 15
301 How's "your way" going? 1.3674 0.04422 215 156 39 20
302 Maybe you just aren't ready to go back to in-person meetings 1.3672 0.03904 256 182 54 20
303 Once again, doing it badly yourself will not get me to do it for you. 1.3668 0.04086 229 162 50 17
304 Going on a business trip, Stanley? 1.3667 0.04236 210 148 47 15
305 Want me to do your face? 1.3665 0.04587 191 137 38 16
306 Are you in training for the Iron Man? 1.3663 0.03964 243 172 53 18
307 This is exactly why they kicked you out of the choir. 1.3659 0.04251 205 144 47 14
308 This is not what the marriage counselor meant about ironing out our differences. 1.3652 0.04164 230 165 46 19
309 You're so low maintenance. My last boyfriend was dry clean only. 1.3649 0.04676 211 158 29 24
310 You know that you're dry clean only, right? 1.3649 0.04377 211 152 41 18
311 You're the one who wanted the iron with AI. 1.3649 0.04124 222 157 49 16
312 Try taking it off first. 1.3640 0.04094 239 172 47 20
313 Well, it worked on my hair in the 90s! 1.3636 0.03916 198 133 58 7
314 I am Iron Man 1.3636 0.04391 220 161 38 21
315 Charles, I think you might have an iron deficiency. 1.3636 0.04088 253 185 44 24
316 It's the name of the building, not the dress code. 1.3632 0.04475 201 145 39 17
317 When did we get a cat? 1.3632 0.04584 201 147 35 19
318 I thought you were pressed for time today! 1.3632 0.03947 190 127 57 6
319 Honey I was pressed for time 1.3629 0.03776 248 173 60 15
320 Real smooth, Steve. 1.3629 0.04067 248 180 46 22
321 Nice, try. You’re still doing your own laundry. 1.3621 0.03949 232 163 54 15
322 Honey, I said we could iron things out, but this is going too far. 1.3621 0.04134 232 167 46 19
323 It was sexy the first time, Fred. 1.3620 0.04375 221 162 38 21
324 I thought we agreed to embrace our wrinkles. 1.3620 0.04133 221 157 48 16
325 I knew I should have taken him to the cleaners. 1.3615 0.03968 260 189 48 23
326 Looks like you’ve run out of steam 1.3607 0.04106 219 155 49 15
327 Stick to painting, Salvador. 1.3604 0.04117 222 158 48 16
328 Your forehead is still wrinkly. 1.3602 0.04726 186 136 33 17
329 You’ are being ridiculous. No one is going to notice a few wrinkles. 1.3594 0.04332 217 158 40 19
330 Now do you believe me when I tell you that being a homemaker takes more brains than working on Wall Street. 1.3589 0.04292 209 150 43 16
331 I told you I don't respond to flattery. 1.3586 0.03794 237 165 59 13
332 Don’t think this will get you out of doing laundry. 1.3585 0.04033 212 148 52 12
333 This is NOT what I meant when I said we needed to smooth things out. 1.3581 0.03978 229 162 52 15
334 My Dad was right. You lack starch. 1.3579 0.04404 190 135 42 13
335 Surely you don’t need me to teach you how to fold ? 1.3578 0.04309 204 146 43 15
336 So this is what you meant by a pressing engagement? 1.3578 0.03958 204 140 55 9
337 Ironic, yes? 1.3575 0.04418 193 138 41 14
338 Did I really need to say "take it off first"? 1.3571 0.04546 196 143 36 17
339 Now you’ll fit in almost anywhere. 1.3571 0.04469 182 129 41 12
340 Definitely the iron….but WHO did it…and where? 1.3568 0.03973 241 173 50 18
341 Yes. You did scorch the tie. 1.3564 0.03855 202 137 58 7
342 How do you plan to do your back? 1.3558 0.04512 208 154 34 20
343 No, John, this is not what irony looks like. 1.3556 0.04168 225 163 44 18
344 Got a minute or are you pressed for time? 1.3555 0.04414 211 155 37 19
345 Incredible. How did you iron your right arm by yourself? 1.3545 0.04602 189 138 35 16
346 Now who is a door mat? 1.3543 0.04796 175 128 32 15
347 You want the starch or the viagra this time? 1.3541 0.04743 209 160 24 25
348 Still think you can live without me? 1.3539 0.04670 178 129 35 14
349 Oh, honey--you've always been dry clean only." 1.3539 0.04242 178 123 47 8
350 Don't blame me. You did this to yourself. 1.3538 0.04258 195 138 45 12
351 Well, at least you took your suit off the hanger this time. 1.3532 0.04230 201 143 45 13
352 I know you don’t want to come off like a stuffed shirt, but this is ridiculous. 1.3529 0.03958 238 171 50 17
353 I'm only surprised that you managed to get the cuffs right 1.3529 0.04119 221 159 46 16
354 Your forehead still has wrinkles. 1.3527 0.04256 207 149 43 15
355 I warned you not to use the cotton setting. 1.3525 0.05811 122 90 21 11
356 Maybe wait a week to head back into the office. 1.3524 0.03816 210 144 58 8
357 You should be steamed. 1.3521 0.04118 213 152 47 14
358 ‘Ironic’ 1.3519 0.04015 233 168 48 17
359 I didn’t think I needed to tell you to take them off first. 1.3519 0.04079 216 154 48 14
360 I, too, have pressing issues. 1.3516 0.04040 219 156 49 14
361 You weren't kidding when you said you had a pressing engagement. 1.3515 0.04384 202 147 39 16
362 Much better, but your forehead is still wrinkled. 1.3512 0.04112 205 145 48 12
363 Don't flatter yourself. 1.3510 0.04401 208 153 37 18
364 I knew that if I pressed you, you'd fold. 1.3509 0.04027 228 164 48 16
365 Or you could just wake up ten minutes earlier. 1.3505 0.03939 214 150 53 11
366 So you finally came out of the closet. 1.3502 0.04218 217 158 42 17
367 Your new boss wants to hang you out to dry? 1.3500 0.05162 140 101 29 10
368 I guess you won't be wanting any dinner tonight. 1.3500 0.04238 200 143 44 13
369 Next you can get our relationship ironed out. 1.3496 0.03642 246 172 62 12
370 Take it off first! 1.3495 0.04096 206 146 48 12
371 Seems you’ve added a new wrinkle or two 1.3491 0.03904 212 148 54 10
372 OK, you've made your point -- I'LL do the ironing! 1.3490 0.04419 192 139 39 14
373 I gave away the tire pump when you got rid of the bikes. 1.3488 0.04984 172 129 26 17
374 Suit yourself 1.3487 0.04371 195 141 40 14
375 Almost, but you missed the ones on your forehead. 1.3487 0.04431 195 142 38 15
376 I don't think you understood the Iron Man casting call. 1.3485 0.04265 198 142 43 13
377 I think it’s time you switched antidepressants. 1.3483 0.04101 201 142 48 11
378 Iron 1, Man 0. 1.3481 0.04537 181 131 37 13
379 No, first you take your clothes off, then you iron them. 1.3476 0.04151 210 151 45 14
380 I don’t think Ironed Man is an actual superhero. 1.3474 0.04449 190 138 38 14
381 I said I want to see Iron Man, not Ironed Man. 1.3472 0.04018 216 154 49 13
382 Iron Man, you ain’t “ 1.3468 0.04096 222 161 45 16
383 My mother was right, you are spineless. 1.3465 0.03873 228 162 53 13
384 You’ve been pressing yourself too hard lately. 1.3450 0.04288 200 145 41 14
385 Next time I press the suit and you walk the dog. 1.3448 0.04358 203 149 38 16
386 Yes, that suit does make you look flat. 1.3446 0.04671 177 130 33 14
387 I’m not sure this is the way to iron out our problems. 1.3443 0.04360 183 131 41 11
388 Maybe you can try cooking dinner next. 1.3438 0.05703 128 96 20 12
389 Flat lives matter. 1.3434 0.04417 166 117 41 8
390 I see your iron deficiency has returned. 1.3433 0.04442 201 149 35 17
391 What size envelope do you need? 1.3430 0.04692 172 126 33 13
392 You're not as smooth as you think you are... 1.3430 0.04128 207 149 45 13
393 ......so when you said you had a pressing engagement....... 1.3430 0.04240 207 151 41 15
394 Honey, that’s not what I was hinting at when I said I thought ‘Iron Man’ was sexy. 1.3429 0.04031 210 150 48 12
395 You feeling pressed, Dave? 1.3426 0.04009 216 155 48 13
396 You should've used the steamer. 1.3426 0.04009 216 155 48 13
397 Next time put the ironing board away when you're done. 1.3425 0.03699 219 152 59 8
398 What I said was, ‘Express yourself.’ 1.3422 0.04489 187 137 36 14
399 This is your idea of permanent press? 1.3422 0.04293 187 134 42 11
400 Training for another Ironed Man? 1.3421 0.04200 228 170 38 20
401 It looks like you have a very pressing engagement today. 1.3420 0.03831 231 165 53 13
402 Well, I guess that’s better than de-pressed… 1.3420 0.04072 193 136 48 9
403 Our marriage counselor just called and wanted to know if we had "ironed out" our problems? 1.3420 0.04329 193 140 40 13
404 Next time, please talk to me about these pressing matters. 1.3418 0.03766 237 169 55 13
405 Let's put off pruning the bushes for now. 1.3413 0.04167 208 151 43 14
406 Seems I was wrong. It would hurt you to do your own ironing." 1.3412 0.04653 170 124 34 12
407 Fold or hang? 1.3410 0.04949 173 131 25 17
408 These new TikTok trends are getting out of hand 1.3408 0.04125 179 125 47 7
409 Do you need help with your head? 1.3405 0.04520 185 136 35 14
410 Honey, I wasn't talking about those wrinkles. 1.3405 0.04455 185 135 37 13
411 Would it kill you to hire an expert every now and then? 1.3405 0.04321 185 133 41 11
412 I eagerly await your mansplanation. 1.3404 0.04274 188 135 42 11
413 You've really got to stop flying coach. 1.3403 0.04357 191 139 39 13
414 Actually, I’m quite impressed. 1.3400 0.04452 200 149 34 17
415 So much drama whenever you have to fly coach. 1.3398 0.03960 206 146 50 10
416 Remove clothes before ironing. 1.3398 0.04192 206 150 42 14
417 "No; I said 'don't 'f'latter' yourself!" 1.3396 0.04217 212 156 40 16
418 It said to lay flat. 1.3395 0.04070 215 156 45 14
419 So that explains all the screaming. 1.3395 0.04888 162 120 29 13
420 Well, now you're stuck this way. That suit is permanent press. 1.3391 0.04787 174 130 29 15
421 Should I get your iron medication ? 1.3391 0.04575 174 127 35 12
422 You're still on the hook to host my parents 1.3391 0.04924 174 132 25 17
423 Yes, your abs do look flat. 1.3390 0.04449 177 128 38 11
424 One more dryer sheet and you won’t be so clingy. 1.3390 0.04227 177 125 44 8
425 You are a flat-out liar! 1.3388 0.04681 183 137 30 16
426 I know it says self ironing 1.3385 0.04210 192 138 43 11
427 Just admit you don't understand irony! 1.3382 0.04386 204 152 35 17
428 Did you get your back? 1.3382 0.04003 207 148 48 11
429 I told you it was harder than it looks. 1.3381 0.04242 210 155 39 16
430 You know, if you just got yourself out of the dryer right away, this would never even happen. 1.3373 0.04665 169 124 33 12
431 Maybe I should explain how a few other things work, like the garbage disposal." 1.3371 0.04832 175 132 27 16
432 You might be spreading yourself too thin. 1.3371 0.04638 178 132 32 14
433 You're still not gonna fit in the carry on bag, Ed. 1.3369 0.04479 187 138 35 14
434 That suit makes you look flat. 1.3368 0.04170 190 136 44 10
435 Great impression of the Salvador Dalí painting. 1.3368 0.04301 190 138 40 12
436 Forget the plane ticket, now I can just FedEx you. 1.3368 0.04429 190 140 36 14
437 I don't think this is how Salvador Dali did it. 1.3367 0.04453 196 146 34 16
438 This is not what I meant when I said we need to iron things out,Derek. 1.3366 0.04126 202 146 44 12
439 You need to be on your side to get the creases right. 1.3366 0.03966 205 146 49 10
440 Big deal - your first wrinkle. 1.3365 0.04532 208 159 28 21
441 I hope it wasn’t on permanent press. 1.3363 0.04310 226 172 32 22
442 Let’s hope this isn’t permanent press.” 1.3362 0.04177 229 172 37 20
443 But how much time are you really saving? 1.3355 0.05037 155 116 26 13
444 Here, let me get your right hand for you. 1.3354 0.04574 161 116 36 9
445 Well, I’m impressed. 1.3354 0.04740 161 118 32 11
446 Of all the crazy things to do! That suit and tie are dry-clean-only. 1.3353 0.04789 170 127 29 14
447 You're a fucking idiot, Robert. 1.3352 0.05007 179 139 20 20
448 I'm very sorry you're depressed. 1.3352 0.04478 179 131 36 12
449 No, Jerry, it isn't irony, you're just an idiot. 1.3351 0.04509 185 137 34 14
450 When you said we had to iron out our differences I didn’t expect things to get so heated. 1.3351 0.04329 188 137 39 12
451 Your doctor warned us this would happen if you ignored your ironing deficiency! 1.3350 0.04131 197 142 44 11
452 This is not what I meant by pumping iron to lose the dad bod. 1.3350 0.04168 203 148 42 13
453 I would have done that for you 1.3350 0.04183 206 151 41 14
454 So this was your pressing engagement?! 1.3350 0.04126 206 150 43 13
455 You shouldn't put yourself under so much pressure 1.3348 0.04011 227 167 44 16
456 I said, "Iron them yourself, not iron yourself!" Now look what you've done! 1.3333 0.04403 195 145 35 15
457 You missed your forehead wrinkles. 1.3333 0.04579 195 148 29 18
458 So, he told me he needed a shirt ironed, I was tired so I told him he could iron himself… 1.3333 0.04798 183 140 25 18
459 Thank god I didn't ask you to mow the lawn. 1.3333 0.04011 201 144 47 10
460 The irony of the situation is clearly lost on you. 1.3333 0.04676 168 124 32 12
461 I’ve always said you fold too easily. 1.3333 0.04261 219 165 35 19
462 Honestly, I'm impressed that you ironed your shoes. 1.3333 0.04244 189 137 41 11
463 Okay, . . then what happened? 1.3333 0.04414 198 148 34 16
464 I said, Iron things out, not iron you out 1.3333 0.04109 189 135 45 9
465 Is this your idea of irony ? 1.3333 0.04637 153 110 35 8
466 I'll go get a mailing tube. 1.3333 0.04315 180 130 40 10
467 Nice try, but you still have to do the dishes. 1.3333 0.04521 168 122 36 10
468 This is not what I meant by ‘straighten yourself out.’ 1.3333 0.04792 180 137 26 17
469 Glad to see you got it ironed out 1.3317 0.04034 199 143 46 10
470 That’s not how you get washboard abs 1.3316 0.04355 190 140 37 13
471 I still see wrinkles on your face. 1.3315 0.04075 181 128 46 7
472 Still flying coach? 1.3315 0.04828 178 136 25 17
473 I meant “Straighten yourself out” figuratively, dear. 1.3314 0.04339 169 121 40 8
474 You missed a few wrinkles on your face, dear 1.3314 0.04652 169 125 32 12
475 I know you're afraid of getting wrinkles, but... 1.3313 0.04472 166 120 37 9
476 I can suggest an easier way to iron your suit! 1.3313 0.04632 166 122 33 11
477 Well, the suit does make you look thinner now. 1.3313 0.04850 163 122 28 13
478 Perhaps these ‘life hacks’ have gone too far. 1.3313 0.04752 160 118 31 11
479 Why can't you just try diet and exercise like everyone else? 1.3301 0.04187 209 155 39 15
480 Lie flat to press? That’s not what it means. 1.3301 0.04296 209 157 35 17
481 Flattery will get you nowhere, Ted. 1.3301 0.04285 206 154 36 16
482 Don't worry; I've got your back. 1.3300 0.04386 203 153 33 17
483 Frank, I thought you were depressed, not pressed! 1.3299 0.04120 197 143 43 11
484 You’ve never looked so hot. 1.3299 0.04532 194 147 30 17
485 You need a little more starch in your backbone 1.3298 0.04336 191 141 37 13
486 No, I said "Do you want to see the Thin Man" 1.3298 0.04448 188 140 34 14
487 We could iron things out just by talking. 1.3298 0.04252 188 137 40 11
488 You seem like you've been under a lot of pressure lately. 1.3297 0.04366 185 136 37 12
489 OK, so I misunderstood when you said ‘pressing business to deal with…’ 1.3297 0.04229 185 134 41 10
490 Any other pressing needs? 1.3296 0.04536 179 133 33 13
491 I told you not to put so much pressure on yourself. 1.3296 0.04395 179 131 37 11
492 Ok. We get it. You’ve been through the wringer. 1.3295 0.04347 173 125 39 9
493 When the doctor told you that you needed more iron, he meant supplements. 1.3295 0.04573 173 128 33 12
494 Great, now I'll have to fold you." 1.3293 0.04450 167 121 37 9
495 Needs starch. 1.3293 0.04368 167 120 39 8
496 You look like you've been through the wringer. 1.3289 0.04552 152 109 36 7
497 It's only a videoconference. No one will notice. 1.3285 0.03924 207 149 48 10
498 I know you said you were pressed for time, but this is ridiculous. 1.3285 0.03924 207 149 48 10
499 I'd ask what's going on, but I don't want to press. 1.3285 0.04376 207 157 32 18
500 Hon, I told you you need more starch in your diet." 1.3284 0.04082 204 149 43 12
501 This is what happens when you put too much pressure on yourself 1.3283 0.04226 198 146 39 13
502 Ok, ok, I'll call you Iron Man. Will you now stop this nonsense?” 1.3280 0.04166 189 137 42 10
503 I’m impressed. I can’t wait to see how you screw up vacuuming. 1.3280 0.04791 186 144 23 19
504 Please tell me you didn’t select permanent press. 1.3277 0.04706 177 134 28 15
505 But it's casual Friday 1.3274 0.04738 168 126 29 13
506 When I said to go flat-out for the costume party, this isn’t what I meant. 1.3268 0.04892 153 114 28 11
507 When I said we need to iron out our problems, I was thinking more, like, couples therapy. 1.3266 0.04086 199 145 43 11
508 I've heard of weaponized incompetence,but this seems self-inflicted. 1.3265 0.04373 196 147 34 15
509 Doing it in no-time flat is only an expression. 1.3263 0.04214 190 139 40 11
510 You didn't set it to permanent press, did you? 1.3262 0.04584 187 142 29 16
511 You can now find your lost ring under the cabinets. 1.3261 0.04094 184 132 44 8
512 That's not what I meant when I told you to straighten yourself out! 1.3260 0.04354 181 133 37 11
513 It works better if you take your clothes off first 1.3258 0.04475 178 132 34 12
514 Good news-- the airfare came down. You don't have to go in the suitcase. 1.3256 0.04508 172 127 34 11
515 'To have and to fold' weren't part of our wedding vows. 1.3256 0.04870 172 132 24 16
516 Pretty sure this isn’t what the doctor meant when he said you need more iron 1.3256 0.04729 172 130 28 14
517 Suicide's not your thing. 1.3252 0.04164 206 153 39 14
518 Now THAT'S Irony! 1.3252 0.03930 206 149 47 10
519 You must be the guy from 2D. 1.3251 0.04028 203 148 44 11
520 But today’s casual Friday. 1.3248 0.04800 157 117 29 11
521 Botox is easier. 1.3247 0.04087 194 141 43 10
522 I’m impressed. But so are you. 1.3247 0.04216 194 143 39 12
523 For goodness sakes Edward, stop being so two dimensional! 1.3246 0.04195 191 140 40 11
524 You coulda just used the steamer, Stanley 1.3245 0.05021 151 114 25 12
525 I knew he had a pressing issue, but I never thought it would come to this. 1.3245 0.04560 151 109 35 7
526 Next clue: You work in the Flatiron District. 1.3245 0.04173 188 137 41 10
527 Now what's this pressing problem that's so important? 1.3242 0.04263 182 133 39 10
528 Couldn’t you be like everyone else and use Botox? 1.3240 0.04163 179 129 42 8
529 No, you still can't come in my suitcase. 1.3237 0.04560 173 129 32 12
530 The pants crease should run down the center of the legs. 1.3235 0.04462 170 125 35 10
531 This is exactly why I don’t let you use the sink disposal 1.3235 0.04690 170 128 29 13
532 Now fold yourself up and get back in the closet. 1.3235 0.04540 170 126 33 11
533 Margaret remains skeptical about the iron-on backbone. 1.3228 0.04689 158 117 31 10
534 Now all you need is Nyacin and Riboflavin 1.3226 0.04267 186 137 38 11
535 Limbo night again? 1.3226 0.04751 155 115 30 10
536 Did you clean the lint screen after you pulled yourself out of the dryer? 1.3224 0.04904 152 114 27 11
537 You just don't understand irony! 1.3220 0.04694 177 135 27 15
538 are you being ironic? 1.3220 0.04394 205 157 30 18
539 Ironic, isn't it? 1.3220 0.04284 205 155 34 16
540 Well, I guess, you straightened yourself out. 1.3219 0.04950 146 109 27 10
541 I know it saves time, but. . .. 1.3219 0.04950 146 109 27 10
542 Now that you're two-dimensional, you can run for Congress. 1.3218 0.04752 174 133 26 15
543 Not nearly as fun as rolling around in the drying machine 1.3217 0.04922 143 106 28 9
544 Still want me to show you the paper shredder? 1.3216 0.04667 171 129 29 13
545 No, I think a different color tie would be better. 1.3214 0.04800 168 128 26 14
546 I meant BY yourself. 1.3214 0.04493 168 124 34 10
547 At least you weren't trying to mow the lawn. 1.3211 0.04397 190 143 33 14
548 OK, OK, you're pressed for time, I got it. 1.3208 0.04748 159 119 29 11
549 But why? The cleaning lady comes tomorrow. 1.3207 0.04153 184 134 41 9
550 I think you have an iron deficiency. 1.3198 0.04643 172 130 29 13
551 It says, "to lay it flat so that it is wrinkle-free on the ironing board." 1.3195 0.04228 169 122 40 7
552 I was talking about the wrinkle in our relationship 1.3195 0.04549 169 126 32 11
553 Don't think this is what the Doctor meant about needing more iron. 1.3193 0.04276 166 120 39 7
554 You found the flat-out idiot setting. 1.3191 0.04489 188 143 30 15
555 When you're finished here, I need you to vacuum under the bed. 1.3190 0.04497 163 120 34 9
556 I still think the airline is going to charge you for a full seat. 1.3188 0.04805 160 121 27 12
557 Yes, I heard you say you had a pressing engagement, but… 1.3188 0.04377 160 116 37 7
558 It says right on the iron, 'Do Not Iron Clothes While Wearing Them. ' 1.3187 0.04527 182 138 30 14
559 Next time have yourself dry cleaned. 1.3185 0.04337 157 113 38 6
560 This looks like a YOU problem. 1.3184 0.03995 179 128 45 6
561 Did your mother ever teach you how to do anything? 1.3184 0.04149 179 130 41 8
562 I'm afraid he's run out of steam." 1.3184 0.04149 179 130 41 8
563 Want me to do your right hand? 1.3182 0.04635 176 134 28 14
564 Not what I meant by an iron supplement. 1.3182 0.04271 176 129 38 9
565 No, I will not give you a blow job. 1.3182 0.05105 154 119 21 14
566 I don’t think that’s what the therapist meant when she said you had some issues to iron out… 1.3182 0.04420 176 131 34 11
567 Honey that’s not what the doctor meant by iron supplements 1.3179 0.04186 195 145 38 12
568 You missed a spot. 1.3179 0.04319 173 127 37 9
569 Flatery will get you nowhere 1.3179 0.04543 151 110 34 7
570 Some Ironman -- we're not impressed. 1.3177 0.04419 192 146 31 15
571 The irony is, you’re still wrinkled. 1.3176 0.04602 170 128 30 12
572 At least I didn’t take you to the cleaners! 1.3176 0.04895 170 132 22 16
573 You need more starch. 1.3176 0.04602 148 108 33 7
574 You are so dramatic. Give me the iron. 1.3176 0.04892 148 111 27 10
575 Gee, I'm glad now I didn't ask you to dice the cucumber. 1.3174 0.04659 167 126 29 12
576 I assume you're done with the iron? 1.3174 0.04338 167 122 37 8
577 So you're just going to flat-out lie? 1.3172 0.04519 186 142 29 15
578 It's "Iron-Man", honey, NOT "Ironed Man". 1.3171 0.04797 164 125 26 13
579 Honey, this is not what I meant by ironing out our differences. 1.3171 0.04557 164 122 32 10
580 Any other pressing issues 1.3171 0.04797 164 125 26 13
581 Well no, actually the irony is not lost on me. 1.3169 0.04301 183 136 36 11
582 You are not iron man! 1.3167 0.04420 180 135 33 12
583 Carry-on is ambitious but I think you'll fit nicely into the roller. 1.3165 0.04407 158 115 36 7
584 That's not the way to straighten out your life, Paul. 1.3164 0.04325 177 131 36 10
585 You still need to take your iron supplements 1.3164 0.04399 177 132 34 11
586 Not what I meant when I asked you to straighten things up! 1.3164 0.04018 177 127 44 6
587 I told you. Most people don’t get irony. 1.3162 0.05187 136 103 23 10
588 You might try the Fluff Cycle next time 1.3161 0.04524 174 131 31 12
589 I meant more iron in your diet 1.3158 0.04256 190 142 36 12
590 You gotta know when to fold 'em. 1.3158 0.04055 190 139 42 9
591 Congratulations on completing the iron man marathon. 1.3158 0.04426 171 127 34 10
592 You forgot to take out the trash 1.3154 0.05047 149 114 23 12
593 I walked the dog while you were in the dryer. 1.3152 0.04533 165 123 32 10
594 I'll let the Coopers know we're going to be late. 1.3152 0.04694 165 125 28 12
595 Pressed for time? 1.3148 0.04673 162 122 29 11
596 Yes, dear, I get it — ironing out the kinks — that's very funny. 1.3148 0.05368 108 79 24 5
597 Every time, Steve. Every. Single. Time. 1.3148 0.04505 162 120 33 9
598 I'd say we can fit you in a carry-on bag. 1.3143 0.04277 175 129 37 9
599 I said, "you can do the ironing yourself", not "iron yourself". 1.3143 0.04716 175 135 25 15
600 See, this is what I'm talking about. Weaponized Incompetence 1.3141 0.05048 156 121 21 14
601 This is not how you treat iron-deficiency! 1.3141 0.04796 156 118 27 11
602 I’m not folding you into my carry-on bag just to save a few bucks. 1.3140 0.04404 172 128 34 10
603 You know, this is not solving your iron deficiency. 1.3137 0.04861 153 116 26 11
604 We’ve talked about this. Take them off first. 1.3136 0.04128 169 122 41 6
605 Thanks for being so flexible. 1.3133 0.04647 150 111 31 8
606 Well, this certainly adds a new wrinkle. 1.3131 0.04314 198 151 32 15
607 You must be the new flatmate. 1.3128 0.04499 179 136 30 13
608 He said he was going for a steam! 1.3125 0.04875 144 108 27 9
609 This is weaponized incompetence. 1.3125 0.04974 144 109 25 10
610 You could have hit the Delicates cycle ! 1.3125 0.04153 192 143 38 11
611 Still trying to slip out the back, Jack? 1.3125 0.04974 144 109 25 10
612 Did you really need me to tell you to take it off before you ironed it? 1.3122 0.04393 189 144 31 14
613 Remember when we were young and wrinkle free? 1.3122 0.04263 189 142 35 12
614 This is not what I meant when I said you needed more iron. 1.3121 0.04683 157 118 29 10
615 I see you're pressed for time 1.3121 0.04627 141 103 32 6
616 This is what happens to kitties who go outside the litter box. Any questions? 1.3121 0.05339 141 110 18 13
617 You do look slimmer.. 1.3117 0.04468 154 113 34 7
618 This isn't what I meant when I said you've got a few wrinkles to iron out. 1.3117 0.04654 154 115 30 9
619 You might have misunderstood me. 1.3116 0.03989 199 147 42 10
620 You missed your forehead again. 1.3108 0.04968 148 113 24 11
621 Talk about self-irony!!! 1.3108 0.04780 148 111 28 9
622 So you really were all hot air! 1.3106 0.04513 161 120 32 9
623 Let me guess -- from a YouTube video? 1.3106 0.04513 161 120 32 9
624 Don’t you think Botox would have been easier? 1.3103 0.04846 145 109 27 9
625 Told you we needed a longer ironing board. 1.3101 0.04481 158 117 33 8
626 I guess you have become somewhat one-dimensional. 1.3099 0.03827 171 121 47 3
627 Marvel called. They're going with Robert Downey, Jr. 1.3099 0.05016 142 108 24 10
628 That suit is quite flattering 1.3098 0.04268 184 138 35 11
629 You have to be careful with these new AI irons. 1.3097 0.04892 155 119 24 12
630 You missed the wrinkles on your forehead. 1.3094 0.04524 181 139 28 14
631 You've got to stop drinking the fabric softener, Frank. 1.3094 0.04987 139 105 25 9
632 I think you had the setting too high 1.3092 0.04402 152 111 35 6
633 Great, now you can fold. 1.3087 0.04457 149 109 34 6
634 Usually its women in comics who are two-dimensional. 1.3087 0.05030 149 115 22 12
635 Next time try doing it before you put them on. 1.3086 0.04574 162 122 30 10
636 This isn't what I meant by saying we need to "iron things out". 1.3086 0.04898 162 126 22 14
637 For future reference, that’s a no-iron suit. 1.3086 0.04632 175 135 26 14
638 This is why I never let you help around the house. 1.3085 0.04065 188 139 40 9
639 I bet your phone's in the lint trap. 1.3083 0.05139 133 101 23 9
640 Just the clothes next time. 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
641 I'm looking for someone with more depth. 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
642 You’re half the man you were when I married you! 1.3077 0.04673 169 130 26 13
643 This is not what I meant by ironing out our differences. 1.3077 0.04783 143 107 28 8
644 On second thought, I’ll do the dishes. 1.3067 0.04632 163 124 28 11
645 This relationship is becoming two dimensional. 1.3067 0.04466 163 122 32 9
646 Honey - Looks like you ironed out your issues. 1.3064 0.04211 173 128 37 8
647 Maybe we should go over this one more time. 1.3062 0.04252 160 117 37 6
648 Permanent Press is not a verb, Edward. 1.3057 0.04578 157 118 30 9
649 This isn’t what I meant when I said, “You’re perfectly capable of ironing yourself.” 1.3057 0.04922 157 122 22 13
650 We can’t fit dry cleaning into our budget anymore. Cat treats went up. 1.3057 0.05164 157 125 16 16
651 And that would be a flat out NO ? 1.3056 0.04438 144 105 34 5
652 You've completely ruined the crease in your pants. 1.3054 0.04390 167 125 33 9
653 I still think you should just mail your résumé. 1.3053 0.05407 131 102 18 11
654 Sure it's art, but will it pay the rent? 1.3053 0.04953 131 98 26 7
655 Hmmm. I guess the press really is the enemy of the people. 1.3052 0.04989 154 120 21 13
656 But I like that you have a few wrinkles. 1.3051 0.04222 177 132 36 9
657 Your boss called. Said you’ve used up all your limp days. 1.3050 0.05027 141 108 23 10
658 I don’t care if your boss threatened to “hang you out to dry”. 1.3050 0.04495 141 103 33 5
659 Don’t forget to pull out the plug after ironing. 1.3050 0.04925 141 107 25 9
660 He certainly ironed things out! 1.3049 0.04442 164 123 32 9
661 You look depressed… 1.3043 0.04666 161 123 27 11
662 If anyone asks, I'll tell them you're spread too thin. 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
663 I'm don't want to play "Flat Stanley" with you; I have a headache tonight. 1.3043 0.04324 184 140 32 12
664 Please tell me you left a note. 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
665 I told you to take the suit off First. 1.3041 0.04317 171 128 34 9
666 You'll do well in the ironed-man competition 1.3041 0.04950 148 114 23 11
667 Would you like me to put you on a hanger, or should I just fold you up 1.3038 0.05056 158 125 18 15
668 Feel like pancakes? 1.3037 0.04734 135 100 29 6
669 Training for the ironman competition? 1.3034 0.04727 145 109 28 8
670 One more stunt like this and I’m taking you to the dry cleaners 1.3034 0.04624 145 108 30 7
671 George, I know you're dealing with some pressing matters right now, but we need to talk 1.3034 0.04827 145 110 26 9
672 The persistence of irony? 1.3032 0.04611 155 117 29 9
673 Oh good! You can fit in the carry-on suitcase now. 1.3030 0.04161 165 121 38 6
674 If nothing's pressing, do you have a moment. 1.3028 0.04687 142 106 29 7
675 Ironing out your problems I see. 1.3026 0.04763 152 116 26 10
676 Oh wow, I didn't know it had a Dali setting. 1.3026 0.05201 152 121 16 15
677 Maybe I used too much starch! 1.3025 0.04208 162 119 37 6
678 It looks like you've ironed things out! 1.3023 0.04873 129 96 27 6
679 How is this my fault? 1.3023 0.04873 129 96 27 6
680 There are better and easier ways to lose weight. 1.3019 0.04256 159 117 36 6
681 You missed a spot, or are you just happy to see me? 1.3019 0.04528 159 120 30 9
682 I take it you’re mother did all your ironing. 1.3019 0.04439 159 119 32 8
683 We have a smart washer and dryer but a dumb iron. 1.3018 0.04180 169 125 37 7
684 I was just pressing you for an answer 1.3013 0.04401 156 116 33 7
685 Nice try but, yes, I still expect you to do your own laundry. 1.3013 0.04306 156 115 35 6
686 Another meeting with the flat-Earthers? 1.3013 0.04848 156 121 23 12
687 I SAID, I'll do it. 1.3008 0.05227 133 103 20 10
688 I told you we needed a surge protector.” 1.3007 0.04763 143 108 27 8
689 I like your plan, there's just one wrinkle. 1.3007 0.04551 153 115 30 8
690 I appreciate that you're now foldable and easy to vacuum seal 'n stow, but when I said there wasn't space in my life for you.... 1.3007 0.05087 153 121 18 14
691 You always fold too easily! 1.3007 0.04456 153 114 32 7
692 The doctor said you need more starch and less iron. 1.3000 0.04921 160 126 20 14
693 Starch! 1.3000 0.04723 140 105 28 7
694 Not what I meant by "iron out our problems" 1.3000 0.04309 150 110 35 5
695 So you really are pressed for time. 1.3000 0.05197 130 100 21 9
696 The Iron Man Diet, you say? 1.3000 0.04504 160 121 30 9
697 What? The tag said "To iron, lie on flat surface." 1.3000 0.04675 160 123 26 11
698 This is why you’re supposed to wait 45 minutes before having another gummy! 1.3000 0.05139 140 109 20 11
699 No I don't consider it ironic. 1.2994 0.04119 167 123 38 6
700 Turn over and I'll do the back. 1.2994 0.04649 157 120 27 10
701 This is your “pressing matter”? 1.2994 0.04470 157 118 31 8
702 Steve, I have had enough of your irony. 1.2994 0.04377 157 117 33 7
703 Told you not to iron your clothes while you are wearing them! 1.2992 0.04913 127 95 26 6
704 You put too much pressure on yourself. 1.2988 0.04340 164 123 33 8
705 My mother told me you were spineless. 1.2987 0.04886 154 120 22 12
706 when you've never actually operated the equipment, it's apparently a good idea to ask some who has. 1.2987 0.04886 154 120 22 12
707 Would you like me to show you the right way to do it? 1.2987 0.04526 154 116 30 8
708 If you turn over, I can get your back. 1.2986 0.04631 144 108 29 7
709 Missed a spot. 1.2986 0.05128 144 113 19 12
710 Training for this year’s ironman? 1.2983 0.04142 181 136 36 9
711 You have to take the clothes off first. 1.2982 0.04381 171 130 31 10
712 He was hard pressed to get going today 1.2981 0.04479 161 122 30 9
713 You swear you read the instructions? 1.2981 0.04565 161 123 28 10
714 Mailing yourself to Antigua won't save us that much money, Harold. 1.2981 0.04303 161 120 34 7
715 Next time use some starch. 1.2980 0.04285 151 111 35 5
716 Now we're officially flat broke" 1.2980 0.04584 151 114 29 8
717 I didn't quite mean that when I said you should go flat out 1.2980 0.04387 151 112 33 6
718 Oh stop being ironic. 1.2979 0.04585 141 105 30 6
719 This isn’t what I meant when I said “you’d better straighten yourself out.” 1.2977 0.04809 131 98 27 6
720 I appreciate your effort, but going flat out is a figure of speech. 1.2975 0.04794 158 123 23 12
721 Don't move, I'm getting my camera. 1.2975 0.04878 158 124 21 13
722 I told you it said remove clothes before use. 1.2975 0.04710 158 122 25 11
723 How do you propose to do the right sleeve? 1.2975 0.04623 158 121 27 10
724 Oh good! You’ve ironed out the details 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
725 You're training for the wrong Ironman. 1.2973 0.04742 148 113 26 9
726 Yes it makes you easier to fold but no easier to get along with . 1.2973 0.04442 148 110 32 6
727 I felt a pressing need to iron things out 1.2971 0.04074 175 130 38 7
728 You forgot your face 1.2971 0.04869 138 105 25 8
729 I still think the striped one makes you look taller. 1.2971 0.05385 138 110 15 13
730 That isn’t what they mean by permanent press! 1.2968 0.04501 155 117 30 8
731 Richard, it’s not working out. I need a man who won’t fold under pressure. 1.2968 0.04683 155 119 26 10
732 Maybe I should have sent him to the dry cleaners 1.2966 0.04706 145 110 27 8
733 If this is how you iron your clothes. . . I can't wait to see how you clean the toilet. 1.2966 0.05002 145 113 21 11
734 Do you think this body pillow will fool my parents? 1.2963 0.04097 162 119 38 5
735 Should I fluff you up in the dryer? 1.2963 0.04711 135 101 28 6
736 Well, I think you come out better when I send you to the dry cleaners. 1.2963 0.04592 135 100 30 5
737 You look great Stanley, now get out there and start sliding under some doors! 1.2961 0.04925 152 119 21 12
738 Jack, you need more starch in your diet. 1.2961 0.04261 152 112 35 5
739 I just meant to eat more spinach. 1.2961 0.04558 152 115 29 8
740 We told you, no amount of starch can make up for being spineless. 1.2956 0.04684 159 123 25 11
741 I don’t think the couples therapist wants us to literally iron out our differences. 1.2956 0.04510 159 121 29 9
742 You’re going to want the permanent press setting. 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
743 Yes,perfect. Now just slide under your bosses door and delete that angry email you sent them. 1.2955 0.05349 132 104 17 11
744 Great! Now I'll have to bring you to the used car lot to have you inflated. 1.2953 0.04809 149 115 24 10
745 You missed your collar. 1.2950 0.04838 139 106 25 8
746 I know that you're always pressed for time but you took it to the extreme. 1.2949 0.04287 156 116 34 6
747 Looks like he flat out lost it. 1.2949 0.04287 156 116 34 6
748 That's not what the doctor meant when he said you needed more iron. 1.2949 0.04189 156 115 36 5
749 Ah the iron-y 1.2949 0.04657 156 120 26 10
750 Now that we’ve ironed out my issues… 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
751 Always have to do everything yourself. 1.2946 0.04721 129 96 28 5
752 Now all your other clothes won't fit. 1.2946 0.04721 129 96 28 5
753 Is this weaponized incompetence? 1.2946 0.04848 129 97 26 6
754 I still think taking diet pills is easier. 1.2946 0.04591 129 95 30 4
755 I said not to use permanent press. 1.2945 0.04778 146 112 25 9
756 Dammit, Stanley! 1.2945 0.04600 163 126 26 11
757 No, I said I love you because you're so ironic 1.2945 0.04681 163 127 24 12
758 All I said was “Let’s talk it over and iron things out.” 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
759 I know we have things to iron out but you don’t have to be so dramatic about it. 1.2945 0.04600 163 126 26 11
760 He did say he had a pressing problem. 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
761 You never listen. I told you that suit was dry clean only ! 1.2941 0.05231 136 107 18 11
762 I think you need the fluff cycle. 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
763 Did you get the stain out first? 1.2941 0.04307 170 129 32 9
764 Yeah... you should stick to dry cleaning. 1.2941 0.05126 136 106 20 10
765 Your suit is very flat-tering 1.2941 0.04436 153 115 31 7
766 Nice try. I’m still not ironing your shirts. 1.2938 0.04114 177 133 36 8
767 First, it’s WASHboard abs. Second, it’s only metaphorical. 1.2937 0.04945 143 111 22 10
768 When I said iron it yourself, I thought you knew how. 1.2934 0.04188 167 125 35 7
769 Well, at least you got that all ironed out. 1.2933 0.04492 150 113 30 7
770 I told you to take them off before you iron them. 1.2931 0.04391 174 134 29 11
771 Flat Stanley gets ready for the day. 1.2929 0.04914 140 108 23 9
772 Oh, you literally meant you were put through the wringer. 1.2927 0.04861 123 92 26 5
773 You do look thinner. 1.2924 0.04204 171 129 34 8
774 Don't forget to fold yourself. 1.2923 0.04690 130 97 28 5
775 I can’t even fold a fitted sheet. 1.2923 0.04938 130 99 24 7
776 The irony is painful. 1.2922 0.04691 154 119 25 10
777 I'll say it again: That's not irony. 1.2922 0.04506 154 117 29 8
778 I warned you about the voice-activation feature! 1.2922 0.04691 154 119 25 10
779 Well,I'm glad we got that ironed out. 1.2922 0.04600 154 118 27 9
780 Oh, I meant the triathlon. 1.2922 0.04411 154 116 31 7
781 Tom I feel our relationship is flat. And I’m taking the cat 1.2922 0.04411 154 116 31 7
782 I said our differences could be ironed out! 1.2920 0.04535 137 102 30 5
783 Marvin, your obligations as president of the Flat Earth Society do not require this! 1.2919 0.04284 161 121 33 7
784 Anti-wrinkle cream would be easier. 1.2917 0.04609 144 109 28 7
785 I'm glad that we were able to iron out our differences. 1.2917 0.04394 144 107 32 5
786 The guy in 12B told me you flatlined in the laundry room. 1.2917 0.04609 144 109 28 7
787 You forgot the starch, didn't you. 1.2913 0.05013 127 97 23 7
788 I checked your birth certificate and it says dry clean only. 1.2913 0.05013 127 97 23 7
789 I'm hard pressed to understand what actually happened. 1.2911 0.04605 158 122 26 10
790 Iron Man my eye. 1.2911 0.04605 158 122 26 10
791 Fluffy, meet the press 1.2910 0.05061 134 104 21 9
792 you cant iron out our problem that way. 1.2908 0.04671 141 107 27 7
793 Self-flattery at its worst 1.2908 0.04779 141 108 25 8
794 Use your words, Greg. 1.2908 0.04779 141 108 25 8
795 There must be an easier way to slim down. 1.2905 0.04623 148 113 27 8
796 It’s my birthday. Take the viagra. 1.2905 0.04818 148 115 23 10
797 I told you never to use the Dali setting ! 1.2905 0.04722 148 114 25 9
798 You have no sense of irony. 1.2905 0.04818 148 115 23 10
799 Turns out, you are an empty suit! 1.2903 0.04481 155 118 29 8
800 I don't think this is what the doctor meant when she said you needed to increase your iron. 1.2903 0.04753 155 121 23 11
801 Oh, please! All I said is "Let's iron out our differences." Why all the melodrama? 1.2903 0.04753 155 121 23 11
802 Jim, when I urged you to iron things out, I had talking and listening in mind ! 1.2901 0.05024 131 101 22 8
803 Slip in under the door” is just an expression 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
804 I see you were able to iron out all your problems. 1.2899 0.04736 138 105 26 7
805 All I said was I have a pressing problem 1.2899 0.04507 138 103 30 5
806 True--you do look hot and thin. 1.2897 0.04476 145 109 30 6
807 the cat isn't the only one judging you right now. 1.2897 0.04368 145 108 32 5
808 So sorry! I thought you were talking about your latest work project when you quipped that you just needed "to iron out a few wrinkles!" 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
809 I suppose you want me to fold 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
810 The crease in your pants should be in the middle. 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
811 Next time just ignore your mother when she says you look fat. 1.2889 0.04318 135 99 33 3
812 Don't worry, honey, it happens to lots of guys. 1.2889 0.04687 135 102 27 6
813 That’s not what I meant when I told you to get it straight. 1.2886 0.04497 149 113 29 7
814 Whatever suits you best. 1.2886 0.04395 149 112 31 6
815 It usually works better if you take your clothes OFF first. 1.2885 0.04068 156 115 37 4
816 You appear to have a literal view of irony. 1.2885 0.04068 156 115 37 4
817 The doctor told me I had an iron deficiency. 1.2882 0.04603 170 134 23 13
818 Honey, you are low on iron! 1.2878 0.04706 139 106 26 7
819 So much better this time. But you still haven't learned to do the crease in the trousers. 1.2878 0.05028 139 109 20 10
820 “This is not the way to iron out our differences?’ 1.2878 0.04361 139 103 32 4
821 And you didn't even empty the pockets? 1.2878 0.04816 139 107 24 8
822 When things are a little tough you fold too easily. 1.2878 0.04706 139 106 26 7
823 I like the initiative,but next time take the clothes off first. 1.2877 0.04450 146 110 30 6
824 I can loan you a cream to remove wrinkles 1.2877 0.04342 146 109 32 5
825 I flat out say no! 1.2876 0.04512 153 117 28 8
826 You still think starch will make me fat? 1.2876 0.04216 153 114 34 5
827 Oh honey, you always go overboard. 1.2876 0.04699 153 119 24 10
828 Okay, you missed under your eyes. 1.2870 0.05206 115 88 21 6
829 I thought it was casual Friday. 1.2870 0.05057 115 87 23 5
830 You need to lay on your side to pleat your pants. 1.2869 0.04866 122 92 25 5
831 We have some pressing issues to discuss. 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
832 I hope you didn't use Permanent Press. 1.2868 0.04995 136 106 21 9
833 Sure, the wrinkles are gone. But what about the static cling? 1.2868 0.04885 136 105 23 8
834 You’re supposed to take your clothes off before you iron them 1.2868 0.04885 136 105 23 8
835 Yes, that suit definitely makes you look flat. 1.2867 0.04507 143 108 29 6
836 Your forehead is wrinkled. 1.2867 0.04507 143 108 29 6
837 You promised that you were low maintenance. 1.2867 0.04283 143 106 33 4
838 I think I like you better as a stuffed shirt. 1.2867 0.04720 143 110 25 8
839 Your mother is right, you need more starch in your diet! 1.2867 0.04615 143 109 27 7
840 Well, I'm pressed for time. 1.2867 0.04160 150 111 35 4
841 Did you set the temperature for permanent press ? 1.2867 0.04471 150 114 29 7
842 You'll never be a writer, John; your attempts at irony are just flat. 1.2867 0.04946 150 119 19 12
843 See? I told you we could iron out our differences. 1.2866 0.03944 157 115 39 3
844 Well, isn't this ironic! 1.2866 0.04523 157 121 27 9
845 I see you’ve ironed out your kinks! 1.2857 0.04317 147 110 32 5
846 Don't worry, I'm empty inside. 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
847 No, I won't do your right hand for you! 1.2857 0.05356 119 93 18 8
848 Sorry, I meant to say, “Iron IT yourself”! 1.2857 0.04574 175 139 22 14
849 Nice try, honey, but we're both still going to Susan's baby shower. 1.2857 0.04630 147 113 26 8
850 I hope you didn’t use the permanent press setting. 1.2857 0.04841 133 102 24 7
851 Looks like you have a pressing problem. 1.2857 0.04149 168 127 34 7
852 So, you've ironed out our differences? 1.2857 0.04630 147 113 26 8
853 You and your pressing needs. 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
854 This does not make up for you calling me flat chested. 1.2857 0.04762 154 121 22 11
855 You were pressed for time I suppose? 1.2857 0.04424 147 111 30 6
856 I said we need to iron out some things in our relationship. 1.2848 0.04106 165 124 35 6
857 Did you iron out all your issues???? 1.2848 0.04282 165 126 31 8
858 Babe, I think you’re eating too much starch. 1.2848 0.04451 165 128 27 10
859 I didn't mean it literally! 1.2848 0.04242 151 113 33 5
860 When I said you'd get thinner if you switched to steaming I was talking about vegetables. 1.2848 0.04640 151 117 25 9
861 You’re pressing too much. It leaves you flat. 1.2847 0.04258 144 107 33 4
862 It is called permanent press. You don't have to iron it. 1.2847 0.04742 137 105 25 7
863 Well I see you've ironed out that little problem you've been working on. 1.2847 0.04742 137 105 25 7
864 If you've finished ironing, then it's time to fold and put away." 1.2847 0.04510 137 103 29 5
865 No, no, I wanted you to have WASHboard abs." 1.2846 0.05149 130 102 19 9
866 Good job, Sweetie, but first, you're supposed to remove your clothes. 1.2846 0.05356 123 97 17 9
867 So, how do you like being on the condo board? 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
868 Don't think this means I'm doing the folding. 1.2840 0.04242 162 123 32 7
869 Have you considered the benefits of becoming a drip-dry kind of guy? 1.2840 0.04419 162 125 28 9
870 You'll still look terrible on Zoom. 1.2839 0.04366 155 118 30 7
871 Now I suppose you want me to call you Iron Man. 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
872 Oh, that’s great, Ted. And the Fettermans will be here any minute. 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
873 Do you prefer rolled or folded? 1.2837 0.04756 141 109 24 8
874 Perfect! Goes with your flat affect. 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
875 “OK, you can still fit into your wedding suit.” 1.2837 0.04861 141 110 22 9
876 You're gonna crush that limbo contest tonight! 1.2836 0.05255 134 107 16 11
877 Yes I can see your feeling flat...have you had a coffee? 1.2835 0.05111 127 99 20 8
878 Would you prefer a wooden or a wire hanger? 1.2832 0.05102 113 86 22 5
879 Let's iron things out" WAS just a figure of speech.. 1.2829 0.04320 152 115 31 6
880 I guess my instructions weren’t specific enough. 1.2829 0.04706 152 119 23 10
881 I think you're stretched too thin. 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
882 He did tell me he had a pressing engagement. 1.2826 0.04482 138 104 29 5
883 I guess you do have some pressing problems. 1.2826 0.04598 138 105 27 6
884 She's still not going to forgive you for losing Flat Stanley. 1.2826 0.04712 138 106 25 7
885 So, you were telling the truth when you said: "I don't know how to iron?" 1.2824 0.05228 131 104 17 10
886 "Could you slip in behind the stove and find Frodo's ball?" 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
887 The best part is I’ll only need to pay for carry-on. 1.2823 0.04370 124 91 31 2
888 I guess you misheard when I said you can use a bit of self irony once in a while 1.2823 0.04933 124 95 23 6
889 My therapist said I need to stop seeing you as so one dimensional 1.2821 0.04147 156 117 34 5
890 You need vitamins with iron. 1.2821 0.04832 117 88 25 4
891 Am I wearing you thin? 1.2821 0.05128 117 90 21 6
892 Sorry to see you are flat out. 1.2821 0.04677 117 87 27 3
893 So this is what you mean by having pressing business to deal with. 1.2819 0.04673 149 116 24 9
894 Ugh. How many times do I have to tell you to take the suit off first? 1.2817 0.04727 142 110 24 8
895 That was the best best sales pitch I’ve ever seen but still, I really don’t need a new iron. 1.2817 0.05034 142 113 18 11
896 I said go iron IT yourself! 1.2817 0.04620 142 109 26 7
897 My eyes are up here. 1.2817 0.04934 142 112 20 10
898 Next time try it without the steam. 1.2815 0.04661 135 103 26 6
899 Honestly, Stanley! You’re flat enough. 1.2815 0.05004 135 106 20 9
900 You're still using too much steam. 1.2815 0.04778 135 104 24 7
901 Don't feel bad. Sheila's husband is still in rehab from static cling. 1.2812 0.04827 128 98 24 6
902 It's wash and wear, Stanley. 1.2810 0.04679 153 120 23 10
903 Now I have an iron clad reason to complain about your obsession with Salvador Dali” 1.2810 0.04586 153 119 25 9
904 I think this Salvador Dali fixation has gone too far! 1.2810 0.04947 153 123 17 13
905 Well, he did say he had some details to iron out... 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
906 You told me you were on the board, but this is a whole different story.” Lucy Hine (age 10), Leland, Michiga 1.2810 0.05407 121 96 16 9
907 I've been under a lot of pressure lately. 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
908 Didn’t I tell you not to get too close to the Pasta machine! 1.2809 0.04434 178 141 24 13
909 I hope that’s not a permanent press. 1.2808 0.04932 146 116 19 11
910 I actually didn't mind your wrinkles. 1.2807 0.04746 114 85 26 3
911 Botox would have been a less painful approach for wrinkle removal. 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
912 Taking the subway again? 1.2806 0.05005 139 110 19 10
913 A little spray starch will fix you right up. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
914 Let’s hope it’s not permanent press. 1.2805 0.04372 164 127 28 9
915 I'm afraid I don't like your Ironman persona as well. 1.2805 0.04372 164 127 28 9
916 Jeeze! Hope it's not permanent press. 1.2803 0.04965 132 103 21 8
917 This is exactly why I do the laundry. 1.2803 0.04965 132 103 21 8
918 I could’ve thrown you under the bus but I thought no, hanging you out to dry is better. 1.2803 0.04965 132 103 21 8
919 I am still steamed up, though I appreciate your full press surrender 1.2803 0.04475 132 99 29 4
920 This is not what I expected when you told me you were goimg to be hard-pressed today. 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
921 Salvador called---he wants his iron back. 1.2800 0.04741 150 118 22 10
922 On the one hand, I'm thrilled to see you've taken some initiative. 1.2800 0.04449 150 115 28 7
923 Normally you’d take the suit off first 1.2800 0.04337 175 137 27 11
924 When I said you have some issues to iron out, this isn't what I had in mind. 1.2800 0.04646 150 117 24 9
925 It won't matter. Once you get in the car, linen always wrinkles. 1.2800 0.05279 125 99 17 9
926 Mind a suggestion? Next time, remove the suit. 1.2800 0.04899 125 96 23 6
927 Ok. Now turn over and do the back. 1.2800 0.05279 125 99 17 9
928 You're not using enough starch Harold. 1.2800 0.04646 150 117 24 9
929 This is not what they mean by the Ironman competition. 1.2797 0.04592 143 110 26 7
930 As usual you totally missed my point about ironing things out. 1.2797 0.05002 143 114 18 11
931 It's gotta be plugged in first. 1.2797 0.05195 143 116 14 13
932 Honestly dear, that suit makes you look flat. 1.2797 0.04698 143 111 24 8
933 Oh, fuck! 1.2797 0.05231 118 92 19 7
934 Honey, just get botox. 1.2794 0.04631 136 104 26 6
935 OK Ironman, what now. 1.2794 0.04512 136 103 28 5
936 Well I guess you struck while the iron was hot ! 1.2793 0.05748 111 89 13 9
937 Anything to amuse the cat. 1.2793 0.05604 111 88 15 8
938 Flat broke again or just depressed? 1.2791 0.04399 129 96 30 3
939 As usual, Martin, I'm astonished by your lack of depth. 1.2791 0.04666 129 98 26 5
940 Glad you ironed things out here. 1.2791 0.04535 129 97 28 4
941 You need to use more starch with the ‘Dalí’ setting. 1.2789 0.04608 147 114 25 8
942 Honey, I've told you before. You have to take your clothes off BEFORE you iron them. 1.2788 0.04086 165 125 34 6
943 Stanley, I'm glad you got this ironed-out. 1.2787 0.04694 122 92 26 4
944 Perhaps more starch? 1.2787 0.05367 122 97 16 9
945 Frank, I think you ate the cat’s anxiety gummies. 1.2787 0.05239 122 96 18 8
946 Well that adds a wrinkle to our marriage 1.2786 0.04653 140 108 25 7
947 I'll let you slide this time 1.2786 0.04427 140 106 29 5
948 You need a little more starch in your diet. 1.2786 0.04309 140 105 31 4
949 When you said we had issues to iron out, this was not what I had in mind 1.2786 0.04309 140 105 31 4
950 No, I'm not taking you to Hawaii in my luggage, Stanley. 1.2786 0.04541 140 107 27 6
951 When I said I liked thin men, this isn’t what I had in mind. 1.2786 0.04869 140 110 21 9
952 Now that’s what I call hard pressed. 1.2786 0.04427 140 106 29 5
953 My back pain was getting awful and the chiropractor was booked out for a month 1.2786 0.04427 140 106 29 5
954 You seem to have a pressing problem. 1.2782 0.04815 133 103 23 7
955 Well, that's the last wrinkle he'll every complain about. 1.2782 0.04573 133 101 27 5
956 You know it's easier if you take it off first? 1.2782 0.04932 133 104 21 8
957 I'm still not doing it for you. 1.2781 0.04322 151 115 30 6
958 This wasn't what I had in mind when I asked you to straighten yourself out 1.2781 0.04806 151 120 20 11
959 Did you run out of steam? 1.2781 0.04522 151 117 26 8
960 Ironing out the kinks I see 1.2781 0.04219 151 114 32 5
961 you’re so dramatic, that iron isn’t even plugged in. 1.2781 0.05160 151 124 12 15
962 I knew I shouldn't have thrown away the instruction manual 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
963 Your boss called, but I told him you're flat out. 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
964 I said you needed a jacket that flattered you, not flattened you. 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
965 Forgot the starch again Bob? 1.2778 0.04233 144 108 32 4
966 I guess this will make it a little easier having a closeted husband. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
967 That’s not how we iron out our differences! 1.2778 0.04564 144 111 26 7
968 This is really the last time I'm going to show you how to do this 1.2778 0.04669 144 112 24 8
969 This isn't what I meant by "we need to iron a few things out." 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
970 Oh, so you're not THE Ironman 1.2778 0.04669 144 112 24 8
971 So what’s your pressing issue? 1.2778 0.04564 144 111 26 7
972 Another poorly translated care instructions tag? 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
973 You're doing it wrong. 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
974 You do have fewer wrinkles. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
975 Still trying to iron out your issues I see 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
976 Johnny's superhero is Iron Man, not...this. How 'bout I throw you in the fluff cycle for a few spins, you can try again tomorrow? 1.2770 0.04872 148 118 19 11
977 I think you are supposed to take the clothes off before ironing them 1.2770 0.04375 148 113 29 6
978 Well I guess I did tell you to 'Iron yourself' 1.2769 0.04635 130 99 26 5
979 I think I got all the kinks out. 1.2769 0.04635 130 99 26 5
980 Anything pressing before I leave? 1.2769 0.04762 130 100 24 6
981 Honey, you're suppose to take the clothes off before you iron them. But on a positive note, you do look much slimmer. 1.2767 0.04080 159 120 34 5
982 I trust you have it all ironed out? 1.2767 0.04453 159 124 26 9
983 Were you hanging out with those 'flat earthers' again? 1.2766 0.04400 141 107 29 5
984 This is definitely not what the doctor meant when she said you needed more iron 1.2766 0.04624 141 109 25 7
985 Remember what we talked about after I pulled you out of the dryer? 1.2766 0.04838 141 111 21 9
986 That's not how you do hot yoga, honey. 1.2766 0.04624 141 109 25 7
987 The steam setting really works! 1.2766 0.04400 141 107 29 5
988 Still better than what I caught you doing last week. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
989 Forget it, Frank, you're still not gonna fit in my carry-on." 1.2764 0.05328 123 98 16 9
990 Honey,you missed your face. 1.2761 0.05013 134 106 19 9
991 Next time try taking your suit off first. 1.2761 0.04418 134 101 29 4
992 Honey, I said you shouldn't flatter yourself, not flatten yourself. 1.2761 0.04784 134 104 23 7
993 You are supposed to take it off before you iron it! 1.2761 0.04289 134 100 31 3
994 OK you’re pressed ! But what are you gonna do about the cat hair ? 1.2761 0.04376 163 127 27 9
995 Again? I’ll put you in the dryer, you should shrink right up. 1.2759 0.04987 116 89 22 5
996 Ok, I give--you can wear permanent press. 1.2759 0.04208 145 109 32 4
997 You just have to take things easy. You can't go flat out all the time. 1.2759 0.04987 116 89 22 5
998 That usually fixes his back. 1.2756 0.04125 156 118 33 5
999 The real Iron Man didnt complain about a little housework. 1.2756 0.04700 127 97 25 5
1000 I think I know why you're always feeling pressed for time. 1.2756 0.04566 127 96 27 4
1001 No, what I said was you need to learn to express yourself. 1.2756 0.04700 127 97 25 5
1002 The ONE time he offered to help 1.2756 0.04832 127 98 23 6
1003 Not enough starch Ironman. 1.2756 0.05324 127 102 15 10
1004 When I said things would iron themselves out, this is not what I meant. 1.2754 0.04212 138 103 32 3
1005 Tough day at the office, dear? 1.2752 0.04855 109 82 24 3
1006 I told you to use the steamer! 1.2750 0.04728 120 91 25 4
1007 Who taught you to iron your own clothes? 1.2749 0.04313 171 134 27 10
1008 You call this training for the ironman? 1.2748 0.04730 131 101 24 6
1009 My advice - less self-loathing and more starch. 1.2748 0.04853 131 102 22 7
1010 Goodness, whatever happened to my well-rounded guy? 1.2748 0.04853 131 102 22 7
1011 You don't get the irony here? 1.2748 0.04972 131 103 20 8
1012 Wow! Not only did our new AI iron leave you wrinkle-free, it also called 911! 1.2746 0.04911 142 113 19 10
1013 I don't think the doctor meant THAT kind of iron deficiency, dear... 1.2746 0.04703 142 111 23 8
1014 I think you're being too ironic. 1.2746 0.04703 142 111 23 8
1015 We get it dear. No one expects you to take over my fathers laundry business. 1.2746 0.04257 142 107 31 4
1016 You need to let off some steam. 1.2746 0.04596 142 110 25 7
1017 This is not what I meant when I said you have to get yourself straightened out. 1.2745 0.04470 153 119 26 8
1018 Worst. Foreplay. Idea. Ever. 1.2743 0.05370 113 89 17 7
1019 I thought you said you were pressed for time. 1.2742 0.04485 124 93 28 3
1020 I don't think this is what the kids meant when they said they wanted Iron Man for the party. 1.2742 0.04629 124 94 26 4
1021 I said i wish you were like iron man, not ironed man. 1.2742 0.05036 124 97 20 7
1022 Babe, all I said was irony isn't your strong suit 1.2742 0.05164 124 98 18 8
1023 Did you get your issues ironed out? 1.2742 0.04629 124 94 26 4
1024 With all due respect, dear… you might be misunderstanding the doctor’s suggestion you get more iron. 1.2742 0.05036 124 97 20 7
1025 You're a victim of your own press 1.2742 0.04904 124 96 22 6
1026 Is this what you meant when you said we could iron things out? 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1027 Ironic not iron it 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1028 thanks, now I think our issues are pretty much ironed out. 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1029 Face it, this argument is almost over, I can always tell when you're getting ready to fold. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1030 You have to find a better way to iron things out between us. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1031 You're going to need a bigger board. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
1032 Your act is wearing thin. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
1033 But I told you,it was wrinkle-free! 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
1034 Haven’t you taken my desire for more steam in our relationship a bit too far? 1.2734 0.04925 128 100 21 7
1035 No, it doesn't make you look hot at all. 1.2734 0.04668 128 98 25 5
1036 What are you doing?? You know you are dry clean only. 1.2734 0.04798 128 99 23 6
1037 i just ran out of steam 1.2734 0.04925 128 100 21 7
1038 You forgot it’s casual Friday, didn’t you? 1.2734 0.05048 128 101 19 8
1039 I did say to straighten yourself out, but this is going too far. 1.2734 0.04925 128 100 21 7
1040 This is not what I meant by ironing out a few wrinkles in our marriage. 1.2733 0.04324 150 115 29 6
1041 My bad. Take it off first. 1.2733 0.04720 150 119 21 10
1042 You got the wrinkles out but your hair is still a mess ! 1.2727 0.04446 132 100 28 4
1043 Heading out for a walk. Don’t forget to do your head. 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
1044 The label clearly says not to iron your clothes while you are wearing them. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
1045 Laundry Day: Men just can not take the heat or the pressure. 1.2727 0.04114 143 107 33 3
1046 Stanley, next time just use the "Wrinkle Free" setting. 1.2727 0.04568 143 111 25 7
1047 And now the saw... 1.2727 0.05116 121 95 19 7
1048 That's not what I meant when I said you can go iron yourself. 1.2727 0.04821 132 103 22 7
1049 I’ve had it with you. First, you complain about your wrinkles. Now you’re saying you feel depleted? 1.2727 0.05249 121 96 17 8
1050 You’re not supposed to use it on your shoes. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
1051 Shall I call your office and tell them that you're flat on your back? 1.2727 0.04821 132 103 22 7
1052 Ironic, don’t you think? 1.2727 0.04980 143 115 17 11
1053 Just give it to me 1.2727 0.04249 154 118 30 6
1054 If I press him right when he gets home, it saves me so much time in the morning. 1.2727 0.04821 132 103 22 7
1055 So let me get this straight… 1.2722 0.04367 158 123 27 8
1056 Look! You can be impressed, depressed, or oppressed but just plain pressed isn’t an option. 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1057 That doesn't look self-inflicted, does it? 1.2720 0.05000 125 98 20 7
1058 I can see you’re trying, but we still have some things to iron out in our relationship. 1.2720 0.04869 125 97 22 6
1059 do you intend to go in the carry on or the garment bag? 1.2714 0.04401 140 107 28 5
1060 Not on your self,by yourself! 1.2714 0.04628 140 109 24 7
1061 No, you do NOT look any younger! 1.2713 0.04505 129 98 27 4
1062 I think there are better ways to lose weight. 1.2713 0.04891 129 101 21 7
1063 You know, your mother always told me you'd need starch. 1.2713 0.04891 129 101 21 7
1064 You seem depressed. 1.2713 0.04891 129 101 21 7
1065 The score did say B flat. 1.2713 0.04891 129 101 21 7
1066 Hello, Iron Man. 1.2713 0.04766 129 100 23 6
1067 That’s flattering. 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 24 4
1068 You were pressed for time? 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1069 Honey, just do the Botox. 1.2712 0.05337 118 94 16 8
1070 I get it honey, but even if you do fit under the seat, I still don’t think the airline’s going to count you as hand luggage! 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1071 I don’t think this is how you launder money. 1.2710 0.05566 107 85 15 7
1072 That's still not a washboard stomach. 1.2708 0.04645 144 113 23 8
1073 If only you'd put this much effort in the bedroom... 1.2708 0.04540 144 112 25 7
1074 He's a founding member of the Flat Iron Society. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1075 When I said ‘iron yourself’, that’s not what I meant! 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1076 It's easer if you take the suit off first 1.2705 0.04514 122 92 27 3
1077 Do mind if I put some starch below the belt? 1.2704 0.04779 159 129 17 13
1078 Alright, fine… we can start using the dry cleaners again. 1.2704 0.04342 159 124 27 8
1079 You know, if the train's too crowded, you can always just wait for the next one. 1.2703 0.04558 148 116 24 8
1080 That suit is Permanent Press. You could have just put yourself in the dryer 1.2703 0.04351 148 114 28 6
1081 Boots feels you’ve used too much starch. 1.2703 0.04351 148 114 28 6
1082 You got your wrinkles out, but you don't look any younger. 1.2703 0.04456 148 115 26 7
1083 I said "We would iron things out" not you. 1.2701 0.04691 137 107 23 7
1084 That puts a wrinkle in our plans 1.2701 0.04457 137 105 27 5
1085 That's just flat out ridiculous. 1.2698 0.04565 126 96 26 4
1086 You could try pharmaceuticals 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1087 Todd, when I said your suit needed ironing I assumed you knew to take it off first. 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1088 Do you need me to roll you up and deliver to work? 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
1089 How many times must I tell you … that tie doesn’t go with that suit! 1.2696 0.04674 115 87 25 3
1090 You could use a little more starch in your pants, if you know what I mean. 1.2695 0.04815 141 112 20 9
1091 Stanley, flattering will get you nowhere. 1.2695 0.04599 141 110 24 7
1092 Well, I wiped off my prints and put the iron in his hand. Do you think the cops will believe it was a suicide? 1.2695 0.04708 141 111 22 8
1093 You're impressive and I'm impressed, but you're also late for work. 1.2695 0.04488 141 109 26 6
1094 OK, turn over and I'll do the other side... 1.2695 0.04919 141 113 18 10
1095 Honey, that's not how you get to be Iron Man. 1.2692 0.04756 156 126 18 12
1096 Homework really isn´t your cup of tea 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
1097 The kinks are all ironed out 1.2692 0.04339 130 98 29 3
1098 I’m training for an ironed man. 1.2690 0.04720 145 115 21 9
1099 But Marvel already has an Iron Man. 1.2690 0.04295 145 111 29 5
1100 What part of no iron don't you understand? 1.2690 0.04617 145 114 23 8
1101 I told you not to leave the steam setting on. 1.2689 0.04575 119 90 26 3
1102 You forgot the starch again? 1.2689 0.05429 119 96 14 9
1103 Everything is a pressing matter with you! 1.2689 0.04575 119 90 26 3
1104 Sadly, this can happen when single guys read Salvador Dali’s book “How I Press My Clothes.” 1.2689 0.05559 119 97 12 10
1105 For the millionth time, don’t flatter yourself. 1.2689 0.04877 119 92 22 5
1106 „I told you I love you creases and all.“ 1.2689 0.04575 119 90 26 3
1107 This doesn't take away the fact that there's still a ketchup stain on your pants. 1.2689 0.05021 119 93 20 6
1108 Okay, smart ass. Do you understand "dry clean only" now 1.2688 0.04318 160 125 27 8
1109 You look great. Now go over there and show 'em some backbone. 1.2687 0.04259 134 101 30 3
1110 Pleating will get you nowhere. 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1111 You didn't use "Permanent Press" did you? 1.2687 0.04873 134 106 20 8
1112 This is very depressing. 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
1113 Oh Stanley, you should have had the setting on polyester. 1.2685 0.05520 108 86 15 7
1114 Want me to go get the basketball pump? 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
1115 Looks like you're finally in shape for the Iron Man 1.2683 0.04770 123 95 23 5
1116 Glad I got that straighten out” 1.2683 0.04331 123 92 29 2
1117 George, you're 45 - the wrinkles aren't coming out. 1.2683 0.04174 123 91 31 1
1118 Pressed for success, are we? 1.2681 0.04883 138 110 19 9
1119 No, that’s not the definition of irony. 1.2681 0.04546 138 107 25 6
1120 You know, most people iron their clothes when they're off their body. 1.2681 0.04546 138 107 25 6
1121 A little less steam next time. 1.2681 0.04429 138 106 27 5
1122 Honestly, Michael. There are ways to contest the divorce other than claiming that I’ “left you flat”! 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1123 C’mon, wrinkles are a given in middle age 1.2677 0.04930 127 100 20 7
1124 Try all you want but you’re still not Iron Man 1.2677 0.04802 127 99 22 6
1125 Botox would have been easier. 1.2676 0.04784 142 113 20 9
1126 It's not okay just to lie there and say that you're 'doing chores.' 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
1127 Frank, could you move? I’ve got chores to do. 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
1128 Well, the clothes don't actually make the man after all. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1129 Let me tell you once & for all I never want to see you near the laundry again! 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
1130 I still want a divorce. 1.2672 0.05246 116 92 17 7
1131 This is not what it looks like 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1132 We can’t seem to iron things out. 1.2672 0.04445 131 100 27 4
1133 Next time more starch. 1.2672 0.04825 131 103 21 7
1134 1st time? Do I have to teach you everything? 1.2672 0.04702 131 102 23 6
1135 The irony...I married you for the money, and now you're a hot guy who's flat broke." 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1136 this is not what I meant when I said I want to get steamy. 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1137 This is not the way to get thin, Greg. You need at least, a little, starch! 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1138 If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times...less steam; more starch! 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
1139 It's one thing to iron out our differences but you're making a flat out fool of yourself. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1140 ‘Press and Wear’ does not mean at the same time... 1.2667 0.04607 135 105 24 6
1141 Ted where’s the hamster? 1.2667 0.05257 120 96 16 8
1142 It’s not exactly what I had in mind when I said you’ve got to learn to pack better. 1.2667 0.04929 105 80 22 3
1143 You know, there is a filter on zoom for that. 1.2667 0.05784 105 85 12 8
1144 The lengths some people will go to just to win the limbo contest. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1145 I still can't fit you into my life 1.2667 0.04543 120 91 26 3
1146 You left a lot of wrinkles on your face. 1.2667 0.04954 135 108 18 9
1147 You're almost there. Keep pressing on. 1.2667 0.04694 120 92 24 4
1148 Came as soon as I could--you said it was a pressing matter. 1.2667 0.04195 150 115 30 5
1149 Congratulations! You've just saved us 10 bucks on dry cleaning. 1.2667 0.04726 135 106 22 7
1150 You're gonna need a bigger board... 1.2667 0.04841 135 107 20 8
1151 I don't think this is what Marvel intended for the next Ironman 1.2667 0.04726 135 106 22 7
1152 Repressed, depressed, and pressed: you're ready for your first day back at the office, hon! 1.2662 0.04518 139 108 25 6
1153 How many minutes was this supposed to save you again? 1.2661 0.04301 124 93 29 2
1154 Not a bad job, but there's just one more wrinkle 1.2661 0.04737 124 96 23 5
1155 Air Fluff, Air Fluff, Air Fluff 1.2661 0.04596 124 95 25 4
1156 But Harvey dear, you've always been wash and wear. 1.2661 0.04596 124 95 25 4
1157 Why you insist on ironing yourself I'll never know. 1.2661 0.04873 124 97 21 6
1158 We have more pressing issues. 1.2661 0.04451 124 94 27 3
1159 I told you we could always iron things out together. Now this? 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
1160 You're taking 'pressed for time' a bit too literally, don't ya think? 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
1161 I wish you weren't so spineless. 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
1162 I’m sorry you misunderstood. I said irony and auto correct changed it. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1163 He has no sense of irony. 1.2656 0.05020 128 102 18 8
1164 I’mpressed?? 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
1165 that doesn’t count as exercise 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
1166 Wha'd I tell ya, Morris? NOT THE SHOES! 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1167 It was the easiest way I found to do this 1.2655 0.04707 113 86 24 3
1168 I said WE should iron things out, Jeff 1.2653 0.04662 147 117 21 9
1169 Hang drying works too! 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1170 You've heard about the layoffs, Marge... boss said I have to iron out the kinks if he’s going to keep me around. 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
1171 Iron Man? Press Man? Hubert, you’re not a super hero. You’re an accountant! 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
1172 Ok, you made your point. So you don’t do domestic. 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1173 And this is why I only buy permanent press. 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1174 Lets iron out our differences 1.2649 0.04171 151 116 30 5
1175 Frankly I’ve about had it with your pressing issues! 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1176 Good! Now we fold you, put you in my carry-on, and you won't have to pay for a seat. 1.2647 0.04333 136 104 28 4
1177 When he mentioned a pressing engagement, I had no idea he meant this. 1.2647 0.04810 136 108 20 8
1178 You look rundown.You may need more iron? 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1179 I really appreciate that we try to fulfill each other’s sexual fantasies but that’s not what I meant with “ Iron Man”. 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1180 This isn’t what I meant when I said we needed to smooth a few things over 1.2647 0.04695 136 107 22 7
1181 No, you don’t look any taller. 1.2645 0.04397 155 122 25 8
1182 Let’s review our division of labor. 1.2645 0.04660 121 93 24 4
1183 This is not what I meant by hang...out 1.2645 0.04806 121 94 22 5
1184 That's not what the label means by "self-ironing" 1.2645 0.04355 121 91 28 2
1185 I see you've completed the 'Iron Man' competition! 1.2643 0.04821 140 112 19 9
1186 I told you, the dryer does not like being rebooted. 1.2642 0.04702 106 80 24 2
1187 You are so lost. No one irons their shoes. 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1188 You could have just called me. 1.2642 0.05889 106 87 10 9
1189 You're right, it's faster. But... 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1190 I know it can be hard to iron things out, but press on anyway. 1.2640 0.04970 125 99 19 7
1191 You missed your head. 1.2636 0.05430 110 88 15 7
1192 But I clearly said to wear something more flattering 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
1193 This isn't what the doctor meant when they said you needed more iron. 1.2636 0.04736 129 101 22 6
1194 Darling, I don't think that's what iron deficiency means. 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
1195 I fail to see the irony here. 1.2636 0.04336 129 98 28 3
1196 It’s not such an easy job now is it? 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
1197 Want me to do your face again? 1.2636 0.05105 129 104 16 9
1198 Sal? Hello, Dali? 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
1199 You're really taking this 'weaponized incompetence' thing too far. 1.2636 0.04862 129 102 20 7
1200 Grow a spine, Bill. Grow a spine. 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
1201 I really think Botox would have been better. 1.2632 0.04251 152 118 28 6
1202 Not a bad husband, really. I just had to iron out a few wrinkles. 1.2632 0.04548 152 121 22 9
1203 Yes, I'm steamed. How can we iron out our disagreements if even the smallest fight takes the starch out of you? 1.2632 0.05145 114 90 18 6
1204 Although Fred felt that he'd been put through the wringer, he was determined to iron out his difficulties with Marge. 1.2632 0.04879 133 106 19 8
1205 This isn't what we meant when we said you had to straighten out. 1.2632 0.04251 152 118 28 6
1206 Well? Did it feel ‘just like a sauna’ after all? 1.2632 0.04992 114 89 20 5
1207 Where on the tag did it say to wash and wear then iron! 1.2632 0.05145 114 90 18 6
1208 When I said, 'iron out the details', I didn't mean this. 1.2628 0.04778 137 109 20 8
1209 We can iron out our differences. Roll over and let me get your back. 1.2628 0.04665 137 108 22 7
1210 I know you think anti-wrinkle creams are "for women", but this just isn't a sustainable alternative 1.2628 0.04665 137 108 22 7
1211 What’s this pressing issue you texted about? 1.2628 0.04889 137 110 18 9
1212 That's not what I meant when I said we could iron things out. 1.2627 0.05025 118 93 19 6
1213 You have to take your clothes off first to iron them. 1.2627 0.04572 118 90 25 3
1214 I'll fold you, but won't fluff you. 1.2627 0.04878 118 92 21 5
1215 I told you that we needed a longer ironing board. 1.2627 0.05025 118 93 19 6
1216 Bob, you’re flat out annoying. 1.2627 0.04572 118 90 25 3
1217 Finally got those wrinkles out? 1.2624 0.04346 141 109 27 5
1218 Pressing business? 1.2624 0.04346 141 109 27 5
1219 Actually it was more entertaining when you sawed yourself in half. 1.2624 0.04461 141 110 25 6
1220 Don’t you think this is so much better than a massage. 1.2623 0.05180 122 98 16 8
1221 Well, you seem to have successfully ironed out the kinks. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
1222 This isn't what I envisioned when we agreed to iron out our issues. 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
1223 This is a very thin excuse for last night’s performance, buster. 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
1224 Honey, we just talked about weaponized incompetence. 1.2621 0.05682 103 83 13 7
1225 Stanley, that suit is dry clean only! 1.2621 0.05512 103 82 15 6
1226 See what happens when you don’t use starch? 1.2621 0.04772 103 78 23 2
1227 And have you taken out the garbage? 1.2621 0.05512 103 82 15 6
1228 Tell me Harold, what is so pressing that this couldn't wait? 1.2621 0.04379 145 113 26 6
1229 I'll hang you with your suits. 1.2619 0.05186 126 102 15 9
1230 I didn't think I had to tell you to, first, take your clothes off. 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
1231 ‘Pressing engagement’ doesn’t mean you need to go flat out, you know. 1.2619 0.05186 126 102 15 9
1232 I know the counselor said we need to iron out our differences but I don't think this is what he meant. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1233 Looks like you got things straightened out. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
1234 You flat-out don't listen to a word I say! 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
1235 You are permanently pressed for time! 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
1236 I said iron out the wrinkles in our relationship, Greg. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
1237 This way, we all can fit comfortably in our NYC apartment 1.2613 0.05536 111 90 13 8
1238 And they say cats can't be trusted 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1239 So I called you a wrinkled old man. Don’t you think you’re overreacting? 1.2612 0.04486 134 104 25 5
1240 Your meeting down at the Flatiron Building has been postponed. 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
1241 That’s not what they mean by pumping iron! 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
1242 Looks like we'll need a little starch. 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1243 It must be a pressing engagement! 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
1244 Maybe you’re supposed to take them off first. 1.2609 0.04400 138 107 26 5
1245 I guess I was wrong when I said the chores won't do themselves. 1.2609 0.04468 115 87 26 2
1246 I think I still see a few wrinkles 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1247 I said try ironing yourself. You’re so concrete Robert! 1.2605 0.04987 119 94 19 6
1248 I'm going to be honest, there is something legitimately wrong with you 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
1249 You've got to get off instagram. 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
1250 C’mon George, that’s not how we iron out our problems! 1.2605 0.05128 119 95 17 7
1251 Do you mind getting that last crease on my right arm?" 1.2605 0.04379 119 90 27 2
1252 These board meetings are crushing you. 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
1253 This is not what I meant when I said we need to 1.2603 0.03895 146 110 34 2
1254 Fred, are you leaving me flat? 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
1255 Well, we finally got things ironed out. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
1256 I told you to be less ironic! 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
1257 I said there was a wrinkle in your sleeve, not in Steve, Steve 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
1258 you didn’t mention anything about taking off the suit first. 1.2602 0.05142 123 99 16 8
1259 Can't you just get Botox like everybody else 1.2602 0.05270 123 100 14 9
1260 Oh,you must live in the Flatiron District! 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1261 Kitty, I think I pressed him too hard. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1262 I told you your OCD was out of control! 1.2598 0.05026 127 102 17 8
1263 You are flat out wrong! 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
1264 Stanley, you are taking "lay flat to dry" way too literally. 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
1265 Try a little starch... 1.2598 0.04360 127 97 27 3
1266 Oh, now it's my job to fold you and put away the ironing board? 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
1267 Embrace me, my sweet inflatable you. 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
1268 When I said we need to iron out our problems... this is not what I meant 1.2597 0.03995 154 118 32 4
1269 It's called strategic incompetence; you're not fooling anyone. 1.2595 0.04545 131 102 24 5
1270 My mom did think you were just another suit. 1.2595 0.04545 131 102 24 5
1271 I see you ironed things out for yourself. 1.2593 0.04456 135 105 25 5
1272 Doc says you’ve been getting too much iron, not enough starch 1.2593 0.04331 135 104 27 4
1273 Oh,he and his wife have ironed it out 1.2593 0.04814 135 108 19 8
1274 Well, that explains the racket coming from the washer and dryer earlier... 1.2590 0.04605 139 110 22 7
1275 Honey, Jim’s party is tomorrow! 1.2590 0.04933 139 113 16 10
1276 I told him he could iron himself 1.2590 0.04373 139 108 26 5
1277 Some irony just falls flat. 1.2590 0.04826 139 112 18 9
1278 I did suggest you iron the problem out with your boss. 1.2590 0.03999 139 105 32 2
1279 Nice try, but I'm not blowing you up again. 1.2589 0.05190 112 89 17 6
1280 Time to walk the dog. 1.2589 0.04702 112 86 23 3
1281 Your colleagues on Zoom are waiting for you to start the meeting. 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1282 Your face is still wrinkled 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1283 I'll see if you qualify for that flat shipping fee now. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
1284 Okay, I'm convinced. You and Mifflepuffs can ride in the same pet carrier. 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
1285 Now you’re just flat-out lying. 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
1286 Geez, I told you not to add starch!. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
1287 I don't think this is going to help your iron deficiency. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
1288 I told you to go easy on the fabric softener. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
1289 I mean I get it you are pressed for time, but seriously? 1.2583 0.04348 120 91 27 2
1290 I don't think that is what they mean by Freedom of the Press. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
1291 Oh good,you're here. Could you get my head. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
1292 Maybe he’s anemic! 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
1293 When the tag says ‘self-iron,’ this isn’t what it means. 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
1294 Of course, YOUR stuff is ironed 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1295 I understand flights are getting expensive, but you can't just mail yourself. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1296 Point taken. 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1297 Don't forget to unplug it and put away the ironing board when you're finished. 1.2581 0.05231 124 101 14 9
1298 You idiot, when I said "You need to sraighten yourself out," I didn't mean it literally. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1299 I would call your mother, but she would blame me. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1300 Well, this is quite a new wrinkle. 1.2578 0.04471 128 99 25 4
1301 You're right, I did say you needed to straighten yourself out. 1.2578 0.04471 128 99 25 4
1302 So much for the kinks in our relationship ! 1.2578 0.04866 128 102 19 7
1303 No, I don't think it's iron-ic. 1.2578 0.04331 128 98 27 3
1304 Okay, so I am passive aggressive. You said don't press me! 1.2578 0.04866 128 102 19 7
1305 Nice try, but I still can't fit you in my carry-on. 1.2578 0.04471 128 99 25 4
1306 Are you sure it was a micro-dose honey? 1.2578 0.05113 128 104 15 9
1307 As I told you flattery will get you nowhere. 1.2576 0.04385 132 102 26 4
1308 Do not iron clothes on body. [Genuine packaging instructions for Rowenta iron] 1.2576 0.04641 132 104 22 6
1309 You have to take the shirt off before you iron it. 1.2576 0.04251 132 101 28 3
1310 Are you impressed? 1.2576 0.04641 132 104 22 6
1311 And this is why casual Friday is now every day. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
1312 You are not mowing the lawn. 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
1313 That's not what I meant by irony. 1.2574 0.04667 136 108 21 7
1314 You could have simply hung out to drip dry. 1.2574 0.04303 136 105 27 4
1315 I said keep a low profile. You're too literal, Frank. 1.2571 0.04885 105 81 21 3
1316 I’ve been telling you, you’re not getting enough starch in your diet. 1.2571 0.04102 140 107 30 3
1317 Do you still think it saves time? 1.2571 0.04462 140 110 24 6
1318 Thank you for being more flexible! 1.2571 0.05585 105 85 13 7
1319 The doctor told you to cut out starch." 1.2571 0.04694 105 80 23 2
1320 I told you not to set the iron on permanent press! 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1321 Now, let's get this straight. 1.2569 0.05438 109 88 14 7
1322 You're right, I should have used low heat. 1.2566 0.04494 113 86 25 2
1323 This is not what I meant when I said "Do the ironing your damn self." 1.2566 0.04833 113 88 21 4
1324 Oh NO, honey! You misunderstood when I said "You don't need me to iron. You can iron yourself!" 1.2566 0.04666 113 87 23 3
1325 And this all started with a Droopy Turkey Wattle. 1.2566 0.04993 113 89 19 5
1326 This isn’t what the doctor meant when he said we need to iron out our problems. 1.2564 0.04879 117 92 20 5
1327 I guess you're not really pressed for time anymore, are you? 1.2564 0.05028 117 93 18 6
1328 I think the collar could use a little more starch. 1.2564 0.04054 156 121 30 5
1329 When I said we needed to iron out the kinks in our relationship, this was not what I was thinking. 1.2564 0.04726 117 91 22 4
1330 Now if you could only iron out our communication problems, Harold, but look at you: you're already board. 1.2562 0.05052 121 97 17 7
1331 If you thought about this last week you wouldn't need to go overnight. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1332 Honey, I know you're running late, but you have to take them off before you iron them. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1333 And you made fun of me for using anti-wrinkle cream… 1.2562 0.05052 121 97 17 7
1334 And this is why you need a therapist 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1335 Method acting class going well? 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
1336 I really think you’ve been pressing yourself too hard. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1337 The label clearly said “do not iron” 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1338 You shouldn't have set it for linen. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
1339 I didn't want to take it off. My tie was tied already. 1.2558 0.04440 129 100 25 4
1340 Man, that Ozempic is really kickin' in... 1.2558 0.04705 129 102 21 6
1341 I said let’s iron this out before we go to bed. 1.2556 0.03944 133 100 32 1
1342 Well there he is, chairman of the board. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
1343 That suit is dry clean only. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
1344 This is not what I had in mind when I said we needed to iron out our differences! 1.2555 0.04275 137 106 27 4
1345 He also can't boil water. 1.2555 0.04637 137 109 21 7
1346 No starch? 1.2555 0.04751 137 110 19 8
1347 Having ironed out her difficulties with Fred, Zelda is ready to move on 1.2555 0.04520 137 108 23 6
1348 Of course it doesn't work. The iron is not plugged in. 1.2555 0.04751 137 110 19 8
1349 Maybe I can fluff him up in the dryer, 1.2551 0.05089 98 76 19 3
1350 Well I did say "iron yourself. " 1.2551 0.04426 98 73 25 0
1351 He always wanted to be Iron Man… 1.2550 0.04583 149 120 20 9
1352 This one is stupid. Bad cartoon 1.2549 0.04866 153 127 13 13
1353 Marvel Studios takes fourth movie in the Iron Man franchise in an unexpected new direction. 1.2549 0.05340 102 81 16 5
1354 You were supposed to get out of the suit before pressing it. 1.2545 0.05074 110 87 18 5
1355 I don't care what you read on the internet - that's not how you treat an iron deficiency 1.2545 0.05393 110 89 14 7
1356 I warned you that getting the iron with the cruise control was a bad idea. 1.2545 0.05546 110 90 12 8
1357 Now you understand what the fu@#& board is for? 1.2544 0.04631 114 88 23 3
1358 When I said you were too kinky, that is not what I meant. 1.2544 0.04631 114 88 23 3
1359 How about I press the suit and take you to the cleaners? 1.2544 0.05684 114 95 9 10
1360 And I suppose you think this is my fault! 1.2544 0.04631 114 88 23 3
1361 So this is your pressing issue? 1.2544 0.04795 114 89 21 4
1362 Mom said I should leave you flat! 1.2544 0.04631 114 88 23 3
1363 They say that with only one glass of water all that weight will come right back on. 1.2544 0.04795 114 89 21 4
1364 I thought you just had a few details to iron out. 1.2544 0.04631 114 88 23 3
1365 The ironing is fine, it's the clothes wringer that was a mistake. 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
1366 I told them that you had a pressing engagement. 1.2542 0.04371 118 90 26 2
1367 You see the irony here, right? 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
1368 But you're perma-press, honey. 1.2542 0.04990 118 94 18 6
1369 It's a new wrinkle every day. 1.2541 0.05148 122 99 15 8
1370 Are you pressed for time? 1.2541 0.05148 122 99 15 8
1371 You're not supposed to use that without supervision. 1.2541 0.04592 122 95 23 4
1372 Not what I meant when I said to iron out your problem. 1.2541 0.04442 122 94 25 3
1373 No, I said EXPRESS yourself. 1.2541 0.04592 122 95 23 4
1374 I think you'll agree, things have been a bit flat lately... 1.2540 0.04053 126 95 30 1
1375 Well, that's impressive . . . but your tie is still wrinkled. 1.2540 0.04772 126 100 20 6
1376 If you've nothing more pressing to do, would you mind tfeeding the cat? 1.2538 0.04922 130 105 17 8
1377 I really appreciate your efforts, dear, but this time you have really fallen flat 1.2538 0.04544 130 102 23 5
1378 No, Bob, you can’t Flat Stanley yourself to avoid your Zoom call. 1.2538 0.04544 130 102 23 5
1379 I wish I could relax like that. 1.2538 0.04411 130 101 25 4
1380 I see you've finally ironed things out. 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
1381 No worries, it's not permanent press. 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
1382 I thought your label said “Dry Clean Only”. 1.2537 0.04818 134 108 18 8
1383 Could you be any straighter?!?” was rhetorical 1.2535 0.04734 142 115 18 9
1384 Have you tried anti-depressants? 1.2535 0.04173 142 110 28 4
1385 He 's too long for the clothesline. 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
1386 Apparently, "Iron yourself, Harry" was a little too nuanced. 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1387 Nice try. Won't work. 1.2525 0.05624 99 80 13 6
1388 What about "Iron it, yourself" did you not get? 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1389 Fine, I’ll do the ironing too. 1.2523 0.05490 107 87 13 7
1390 You really need more starch in your diet. 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
1391 Yoga, muscle relaxers, easy listening, what did you expect? 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1392 The plank challenge is so old news 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1393 Smooth 1.2523 0.04519 111 85 24 2
1394 I find that you lack depth. 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
1395 Do you want me to put the crease in your pants? 1.2522 0.05217 115 93 15 7
1396 Arnold, you're suppose to iron your clothes BEFORE you put them on. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
1397 I’m gonna take you to the cleaners. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
1398 Stanley? 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1399 I ask you to help around the house and you get all bent out of shape 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1400 Oh Stanley! Not again?! 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1401 Even Mr. Sparkles here knows that this isn't the iron the doctor was talking about 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1402 When you said you were an iron man, I thought you meant the triathlete kind. 1.2520 0.04703 123 97 21 5
1403 This is what you meant by a pressing engagement. 1.2520 0.04842 123 98 19 6
1404 I'm flat out. 1.2520 0.04410 123 95 25 3
1405 This is not the iron man that I thought I married. 1.2520 0.05239 123 101 13 9
1406 Are you finally done? I've been patiently waiting my turn. 1.2520 0.04256 123 94 27 2
1407 Bob, this is not what I meant when I said we had to work out some wrinkles in our marriage. 1.2520 0.04739 127 101 20 6
1408 I’m sorry, but ironing just doesn’t relax me the way it does you. 1.2519 0.04513 131 103 23 5
1409 Don't we have enough pressing problems already? 1.2519 0.04641 131 104 21 6
1410 Give me a break, Ted. It's not *that* crowded on the subway. 1.2519 0.04766 131 105 19 7
1411 Your just going have to iron this out for yourself. 1.2519 0.04513 131 103 23 5
1412 So this is why you’ve been so hard-pressed to help around the house? 1.2519 0.04245 131 101 27 3
1413 I told him that we should iron out our difficulties 1.2519 0.04299 135 105 26 4
1414 I can’t help you right now. I’m pressed for time. 1.2518 0.04343 139 109 25 5
1415 Stanley! Again? 1.2517 0.04598 143 115 20 8
1416 The irony 1.2500 0.05073 124 101 15 8
1417 I told you not to give up caffeine on a Monday. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
1418 You idiot! 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
1419 Nice try. I still resent that you get to work from home. 1.2500 0.05306 112 91 14 7
1420 You flat out lie. 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
1421 Five minutes on 'Air Fluff' will do the trick. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1422 I said you try a little of that "Irony" on yourself. 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
1423 Don't tell me you set it to permanent press. 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
1424 Honey, but you said you wanted the Dali look. 1.2500 0.04734 132 106 19 7
1425 You're supposed to take the clothes off before ironing. 1.2500 0.04217 132 102 27 3
1426 That's an easier method to a flatter stomach. 1.2500 0.04379 124 96 25 3
1427 I found a bug in the self-ironing system. 1.2500 0.04484 112 86 24 2
1428 I wish you would just pay for the extra legroom. 1.2500 0.04397 136 107 24 5
1429 How many times have I told you, the crease goes in the front! 1.2500 0.04972 132 108 15 9
1430 Smooth move, honey 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
1431 Pressed for success? 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1432 More starch, Salvador. 1.2500 0.04960 128 104 16 8
1433 Really, Stanley? 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1434 This is not what I meant by needing to iron out our differences. 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
1435 Damn! I forgot the starch. 1.2500 0.04854 132 107 17 8
1436 I can see your patience is wearing thin 1.2500 0.04942 124 100 17 7
1437 So you'll be faxing yourself to work now...? 1.2500 0.05283 108 87 15 6
1438 So that’s what you meant by pressing issues. 1.2500 0.04835 128 103 18 7
1439 Sometimes you go a little overboard. 1.2500 0.05073 124 101 15 8
1440 I can see you are pressed for time, but can you still help with the laundry? 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
1441 I knew we could iron out our differences. 1.2500 0.05283 108 87 15 6
1442 You threw a new wrinkle into my morning. 1.2500 0.04581 108 83 23 2
1443 I told you to send it to the cleaner! 1.2500 0.04807 124 99 19 6
1444 I'm sorry, dear When I said you should iron your own shirt, suit, and tie for once in your life, I should have said "first, take them off! 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1445 Mr. Stark, I think you should rethink this whole superhero thing. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1446 Is he depressed or repressed? 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
1447 Yeah babe... you look just like Iron Man. 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
1448 Harvey, I always knew you were flat out ridiculous. 1.2500 0.04734 132 106 19 7
1449 I think wrinkle cream would be less painful. 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
1450 Carl, please, stop trying to come up with lifehacks for TikTok. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1451 You're sure it said 'a well-PRESSED man?' 1.2500 0.05389 100 80 15 5
1452 I thought we were going out for drinks to let off some steam? 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
1453 That AI iron was a bad idea. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1454 Didn’t realize you were delicate 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
1455 When I said "we need to iron out our problems", I didn't mean you were the problem. 1.2500 0.05073 124 101 15 8
1456 I'm faxing into the office today. 1.2500 0.05116 108 86 17 5
1457 Are the kinks gone? 1.2500 0.04573 128 101 22 5
1458 I’m glad to see you have ironed out the differences between us. 1.2481 0.04453 133 105 23 5
1459 I said WE have some things to iron out Phil.WE! 1.2481 0.04579 133 106 21 6
1460 Just had to iron a few things out before the morning meeting. 1.2481 0.04453 133 105 23 5
1461 We can’t just iron it out this time 1.2481 0.04051 133 102 29 2
1462 Wouldn’t it be easier to just jack up the car? 1.2481 0.05047 129 106 14 9
1463 The irony is that things were steamier in our relationship when you were de-pressed. 1.2481 0.04542 129 102 22 5
1464 If this is a plan to save time in the morning, Fluffy and I don’t think it’s working. 1.2480 0.04906 125 101 17 7
1465 The irony is that there is no place to plug in the iron! 1.2480 0.04773 125 100 19 6
1466 You haven't plugged it in. 1.2480 0.04906 125 101 17 7
1467 Who's the flat chested one now? 1.2480 0.04906 125 101 17 7
1468 You should have used more starch 1.2480 0.04495 125 98 23 4
1469 Are you ok honey? You seem a little flat. 1.2480 0.04636 125 99 21 5
1470 That tic toc video on 'Iron Deficiency, the No. One Silent Killer' really got to you?!? 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
1471 I’m one with the laundry now Linda. 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
1472 Why is everything always so pressing, Raymond! 1.2479 0.05285 121 100 12 9
1473 I hope not everything is flaccid. 1.2479 0.05018 121 98 16 7
1474 So?! You ironed it out? 1.2479 0.04435 121 94 24 3
1475 No one on zoom will know the difference 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
1476 I think you need extra starch 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1477 When did you become so one-dimensional? 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1478 I guess I really should have selected “Delicates”! 1.2479 0.04189 117 89 27 1
1479 Is it a legitimate talent?—Sure 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1480 You're supposed to iron the suit BEFORE you put it on. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1481 You were supposed to remove it first. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1482 Were you really that pressed for time? 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1483 And to think the dry cleaners wanted $9.99 for this. 1.2478 0.04624 113 88 22 3
1484 I told you honey, one dot is low heat, two is medium heat, three is high heat, and four is total meltdown. 1.2478 0.04954 113 90 18 5
1485 This level of weaponized incompetence was banned by the Geneva Conventions, Harold. 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
1486 I know I didn't leave you with the instructions but... 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
1487 You’ll be hung out to dry 1.2478 0.04450 113 87 24 2
1488 I know I said there were a few things we needed to iron out, but ... 1.2478 0.04269 113 86 26 1
1489 See? My life is filled with irony 1.2478 0.04954 113 90 18 5
1490 The Avengers called - they don’t want Iron Man in the group anymore. 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
1491 Get up! You're wrinkle free. 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1492 Don't say I didn't warn you. 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
1493 I wanted a Flat White coffee, not husband! 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1494 Pressed for time again? 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1495 '"I think you completely misunderstood 'flatiron.'" 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1496 I told you - you need starch! 1.2476 0.04645 105 81 22 2
1497 I said you don’t seem to understand irony, but apparently you don’t understand ironing, either 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1498 Go get 'em, Iron Man! 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
1499 Can't say I'm surprised. 1.2475 0.05700 101 83 11 7
1500 Harold, I think maybe it's time to talk about your ironic personality. 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
1501 Harold, your good suit! You didn't add enough starch! 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
1502 You’re still not getting out of ironing, Joe. 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
1503 I told you before! Wash and wear is not the same thing as wear and wash! 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
1504 You didn’t think to read the instructions? 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
1505 You know the man who presses his own suit has a fool for a valet. 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
1506 No, Brian, I won’t say I’m ‘hard-pressed’ to explain this. 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
1507 I'm trying to become Iron Man 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
1508 Lets get something straight. ! 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1509 Well I guess it saves time but what about the rest of your day? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1510 Were you worried about not fitting in the MRI machine? 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1511 How permanent is the press? 1.2467 0.04224 150 119 25 6
1512 So you're telling me Iron Man is a person? 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
1513 You could have just hung yourself on a hanger for a few hours after you crawled out of the washer. 1.2464 0.03958 138 106 30 2
1514 That's the problem with being an efficiency expert. 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
1515 This is way too kinky! 1.2463 0.04424 134 106 23 5
1516 That’s not what Iron Man is about 1.2463 0.04789 134 109 17 8
1517 Just put yourself in the dryer next time. 1.2462 0.04377 130 102 24 4
1518 Actually that’s not what I really meant by “show a little empathy.” 1.2462 0.04768 130 105 18 7
1519 Clothes off, then iron. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
1520 This is what happens when you let a man do a woman's job! 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
1521 I'm glad we have this problem ironed out. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
1522 I’m just trying to iron out our differences 1.2460 0.04319 126 98 25 3
1523 I get it! You’re flat out after a tough day at the office. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
1524 All I said was "I think we can iron things out." 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
1525 Let me guess, your meetings at the Flatiron Building. 1.2460 0.05000 126 103 15 8
1526 When I said press yourself, I meant to get a job. 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
1527 I did say to iron out your problems. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
1528 You're first supposed to take the suit off. 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1529 If you really want to show me you can live on the straight and narrow how about feeding the cat once in a while! 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1530 I don’t need instructions, you said. 1.2459 0.04981 122 99 16 7
1531 If you move up you can get rid of the wrinkles on your face 1.2459 0.04843 122 98 18 6
1532 Very funny Elastic Man, I can see it's not plugged in. 1.2458 0.05374 118 98 11 9
1533 No, you are still not the Iron Man 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
1534 I'm sorry but it's too little, too late. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
1535 you're still not straight 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
1536 Why do I always have to step in when you start a project? 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
1537 That’s not what I meant when I told you to “straighten out” ! 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
1538 Well, frankly, I think your impersonation of Iron Man is repulsive, Ray 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
1539 That's the problem with permanent press.” 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
1540 Your first attempt? Oh the irony! 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
1541 I'm not impressed. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1542 I told you we should have bought the steamer 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
1543 You’re not the only one flat out today 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1544 I’m glad we ironed out the cause of our problems. 1.2456 0.04237 114 87 26 1
1545 His new office is located in the Flat Iron Building! 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1546 What part of the warning "DO NOT IRON CLOTHES WHILE WEARING THEM" did you not understand? 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
1547 I would have gone with the Botox, myself..." 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1548 Introducing the real “Flat Stanley”! 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1549 Sorry I can’t help you at the moment…I’m just flat out. 1.2456 0.04237 114 87 26 1
1550 Once a flat-earther, always a flat-earther. 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
1551 Steam or no steam? 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
1552 Ironing out our difficulties does not mean this. 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
1553 I hope you didn't use starch! 1.2455 0.04690 110 86 21 3
1554 You're still using irony incorrectly. 1.2453 0.05330 106 86 14 6
1555 I think you forgot the starch. 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
1556 I told you you’d be on the board someday. 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
1557 I thought it was time we ironed out our differences. 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
1558 It's like that time you painted yourself into a corner. There's no way to get that last sleeve cuff. 1.2451 0.05983 102 86 7 9
1559 I'm sorry, you misunderstood me. I said "You can do the ironing yourself." 1.2449 0.04824 98 76 20 2
1560 This is a ploy so I’ll keep doing the ironing isn't it? 1.2449 0.04824 98 76 20 2
1561 Ok, so I guess you don’t know what a flat white is? 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
1562 If you've finished playing with the iron the cat needs to go out. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
1563 This is why I don't let you cook dinner 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
1564 I see no need for a chiropractor anymore 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
1565 I knew I should have married the drip-dry guy. 1.2446 0.04772 139 114 16 9
1566 See what happens when you're pressed for time? 1.2444 0.04518 135 108 21 6
1567 Smooth move,Stanley. 1.2444 0.04394 135 107 23 5
1568 Iron out my problems, she said. 1.2444 0.04518 135 108 21 6
1569 Honey, when I said our issues will all iron out, I was only speaking figuratively. 1.2444 0.03999 135 104 29 2
1570 That's not what I meant by ironing out our problems. 1.2443 0.04735 131 106 18 7
1571 Wait until Dali sees this ! 1.2443 0.04210 131 102 26 3
1572 Oh. I thought you said DE-pressed. 1.2443 0.04609 131 105 20 6
1573 Great job Stanley! Now I can fold you up and mail you home to your parents! 1.2443 0.04858 131 107 16 8
1574 Impressive. 1.2441 0.04289 127 99 25 3
1575 Shall we go through the settings one more time? 1.2441 0.04432 127 100 23 4
1576 You forgot the worry lines. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1577 A freshly pressed suit is so slimming. 1.2441 0.04140 127 98 27 2
1578 We’ll throw him in the dryer like we did with you and put it on fluff. 1.2439 0.05077 123 101 14 8
1579 You still need to work on your creases 1.2439 0.04522 123 97 22 4
1580 Is this how it’s done? 1.2439 0.04522 123 97 22 4
1581 Namaste Iron Man! 1.2439 0.04217 123 95 26 2
1582 I wonder if you have an iron deficiency? 1.2437 0.04916 119 96 17 6
1583 I see you're pressed and ready to go. 1.2437 0.05059 119 97 15 7
1584 No, it said "wash and wear", not "wear and iron". 1.2437 0.04617 119 94 21 4
1585 Feeling a little depressed? 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
1586 My mother was right about you. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
1587 This doesn't make you an ironic Flat Stanley. 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
1588 You may want to work from home today. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
1589 Salvadore, stick to clocks 1.2435 0.05180 115 94 14 7
1590 I didn’t realize you were so kinky. 1.2432 0.04473 111 86 23 2
1591 I like the new wrinkle-free you. 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
1592 Now, that is ironing bored! 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
1593 The tag said "safe to iron while wearing, so no problem right? 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
1594 Not again, I told you to always take off your clothes when you iron yourself. 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
1595 That’s it—it’s not just iron or starch in your backbone that you’re lacking, it’s the gumption to stand up for yourself. 1.2432 0.05462 111 92 11 8
1596 The irony is lost on me... 1.2431 0.04434 144 116 21 7
1597 ‘Lost your apartment key again?’ 1.2430 0.04759 107 84 20 3
1598 We don’t have the money for Ozempic, what was I supposed to do? 1.2430 0.04569 107 83 22 2
1599 I understand you think you're helping. 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
1600 That's not what I meant when I suggested that we had to iron some things out. 1.2430 0.05116 107 86 16 5
1601 Please stop watching DIY videos. 1.2430 0.05116 107 86 16 5
1602 Don’t think for a minute that this smoothes things over. 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
1603 Stop trying to be Iron Man. 1.2430 0.04759 107 84 20 3
1604 You really took mansplaining to a whole nother level... 1.2430 0.05285 107 87 14 6
1605 “Press the flesh” was my campaign advice! 1.2430 0.05116 107 86 16 5
1606 Thanks for handling the ironing yourself for once. 1.2427 0.05426 103 84 13 6
1607 He's going on Meet the Press 1.2427 0.04672 103 80 21 2
1608 I'm putting you back on rice, bread and potatoes. 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1609 You should have had my dermatologist treat your wrinkles. 1.2424 0.04318 132 104 24 4
1610 You could’ve just used some of my wrinkle cream 1.2424 0.04824 132 108 16 8
1611 Gosh, I'm sorry I said it wouldn't kill you. 1.2422 0.04673 128 103 19 6
1612 I told you to do it yourself, not on yourself. 1.2422 0.04401 128 101 23 4
1613 Men really can't do anything right 1.2422 0.04401 128 101 23 4
1614 You flat out used too much starch 1.2422 0.04539 128 102 21 5
1615 I told him to 'tell me that you've never heard of the superhero Iron Man without telling me that you've never heard of the superhero Iron Man.' 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
1616 TFW you've married the wrong Iron Man. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
1617 Honey, this self-irony thing is really getting out of hand. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
1618 Well, I'm glad that issue's now ironed out. 1.2419 0.04773 124 100 18 6
1619 But you still have wrinkles on your face. 1.2419 0.04187 124 96 26 2
1620 Did you empty the lint catcher? 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
1621 I see you have a pressing problem. 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
1622 I told you not to try to iron that suit while you're wearing it. But noooo, you wouldn't listen, 1.2419 0.05040 124 102 14 8
1623 I don’t care if you have ironing board abs, extra starch in your shorts, or a wrinkle-free collar, I’m leaving you, Pete. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
1624 I’m flat out exhausted. 1.2417 0.05020 120 98 15 7
1625 The label said "Do Not Iron." Can't you read? 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1626 Why can't you just accept that I'm better than you at limbo? 1.2417 0.05020 120 98 15 7
1627 You look very crisp, Mr. Dali. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1628 You looked better round. 1.2414 0.04992 116 94 16 6
1629 This isn't what they meant when they said your suit was 'self-ironing.' 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
1630 It's going to take more than this, Phil, to iron out our martial issues. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1631 That’s not how you get flat abs, Derek. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
1632 When you said you had a pressing problem, you weren't kidding 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
1633 NOTE TO SELF Never tell a partner with absolutely NO imagination that I am confident we can iron out our marital problems. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
1634 I'll get the Viagra. 1.2411 0.05267 112 92 13 7
1635 You're still not getting the concept of irony. 1.2411 0.05112 112 91 15 6
1636 But your label said ‘permanent press.’ 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
1637 He has an iron deficiency 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1638 You’re thinking of the wrong Iron Man 1.2409 0.04578 137 111 19 7
1639 On the plus side, the doctor couldn't find any scorch marks. 1.2407 0.04337 108 83 24 1
1640 Just once,you could let Phil win the limbo contest. 1.2407 0.05403 108 89 12 7
1641 I told you, it works a lot better with your clothes OFF your body! 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
1642 It's cheaper than Botox. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
1643 Nice try, but you still can't tell people you've done an Ironman. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
1644 I wouldn't call that a superpower, Iron Man. 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
1645 I don't care how hard you press the point, the world is not flat. 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
1646 When I said you should feel hard pressed to find a job,this is not what I meant. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
1647 Sure, but when I said that we had to "iron some things out".... 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
1648 When I said we could iron things out, this wasn't what I meant! 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
1649 Let me guess, you’re training for Ironman? 1.2404 0.05550 104 86 11 7
1650 They’ll reimburse you for a flat rate box but not a plane ticket? 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
1651 He really ironed himself out. 1.2404 0.04633 104 81 21 2
1652 Not quite what I meant when I said “Iron yourself.” 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
1653 There are easier ways to increase your daily iron. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1654 I told my mother we had a pressing engagement. 1.2400 0.04158 125 97 26 2
1655 Don't worry sweetheart, we'll get this ironed out." 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
1656 I am just trying to iron out our problems 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
1657 I betcha fried eggs for breakfast doesn’t sound too good. 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
1658 It's all or nothing with you. 1.2400 0.05707 100 83 10 7
1659 That's not what they meant by "flatten the curve". 1.2400 0.04600 125 100 20 5
1660 I told you! Steam would have made you puffy! 1.2400 0.04158 125 97 26 2
1661 Never, ever use the permanent press setting! 1.2400 0.04458 125 99 22 4
1662 You are flat-out useless around the house! 1.2400 0.04158 125 97 26 2
1663 When you're done pressing your suit, just please promise you won't vacuum the house. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
1664 This is not what I meant when I said ironclad 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
1665 What? We all out of spray starch? 1.2400 0.04158 125 97 26 2
1666 Maybe you should reconsider working at the Flatiron Building. 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
1667 Honey, you completely misunderstand how the Ironman Competition requires body shaping... 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
1668 You are a smooth dude ! 1.2397 0.04070 121 93 27 1
1669 Bob, OTHER fans of Black Sabbath can listen to the song "Iron Man" without having to do THIS... " 1.2397 0.05119 121 100 13 8
1670 His profile read, “I am Iron Man.” Disappointing. 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
1671 Are you rethinking what you said about mindless household chores? 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1672 And here's me thinking the cat wearing mascara was the weirdest thing that would happen today... 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1673 You're the one that said no starch. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
1674 That's not what I meant when I suggested you iron out your problems. 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
1675 First take the suit off next time. 1.2393 0.04953 117 95 16 6
1676 For a guy who normally can't touch his toes, this is really impressive. 1.2393 0.05100 117 96 14 7
1677 Now I can take him as carry on’ 1.2393 0.04953 117 95 16 6
1678 Honey, I told you it's a wash and wear suit, not wear and . . . Oh, never mind. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
1679 Your Iron Man impression falls flat" 1.2393 0.04317 117 91 24 2
1680 I’m not going to do it for you just because you are terrible at it. 1.2393 0.04953 117 95 16 6
1681 you better accept that not being straight is also normal! 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
1682 I told you to drink more water first. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
1683 How about a little starch for the collar. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1684 I had no idea you were so kinky. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1685 Honey, you’ve got to get out of your clothes first. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1686 You forgot to do your head. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1687 They say a body needs iron, but this is ridiculous. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1688 Only have the energy for two dimensions today. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1689 I thought you said you were drip-dry! 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
1690 Marriage. Let's iron out the wrinkles in our marriage, I said. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1691 You still have to take out the trash. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1692 Flat affect's good for tech, honey. You're in sales. 1.2389 0.04221 113 87 25 1
1693 You forgot your head. 1.2389 0.05225 113 93 13 7
1694 ..." "did you not always want a cardboard cut-out of me? 1.2389 0.04404 113 88 23 2
1695 Flattening will get you nowhere. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1696 I can tell you’re feeling real pressed. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1697 I told you it wouldn't be faster. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1698 You didn't believe me when I told you to do it standing up 1.2388 0.04517 134 108 20 6
1699 Sweetheart, it’s easier if you take the suit off first.” 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1700 Hey! the cat will get inspired! 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1701 Well, I did tell him we needed to iron some things out... 1.2385 0.04303 109 84 24 1
1702 My love language is acts of subservience 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
1703 This isn't what they meant when they said that flattery will get you anywhere! 1.2385 0.04736 130 106 17 7
1704 This isn’t what I meant by ironing out the kinks, John 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
1705 This is your training for Iron Man? 1.2381 0.04567 126 101 20 5
1706 I was thinking of sending it to the cleaners, but I didn't want to press my luck. 1.2381 0.05332 105 86 13 6
1707 You could just call in sick, hon. 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
1708 I heard people saying, they've seen Salvador Dali walking around the neighborhood! 1.2381 0.04426 126 100 22 4
1709 Well, I did say it was a pressing emergency. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
1710 I’ve been through the wringer this week. 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
1711 Glad you're finally straightening out. 1.2381 0.04594 105 82 21 2
1712 Who wears a suit to a limbo contest? 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
1713 Even the cat knows that's not The Iron Man. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
1714 You were just supposed to iron the bloody tie. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
1715 Really your weaponized incompetence hurts both of us. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
1716 I had something else in mind when I told you to straighten yourself out. 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
1717 After folding, you’ll fit in my carry-on bag. 1.2377 0.04363 122 96 23 3
1718 It’s Ironed man! 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
1719 You did this without the iron plugged in? 1.2377 0.04363 122 96 23 3
1720 This is not how Iron Man got his start. 1.2377 0.04807 122 99 17 6
1721 Nice job. Flat out looks great! 1.2377 0.04516 122 97 21 4
1722 Why so pressed? 1.2377 0.04516 122 97 21 4
1723 Ironman who 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
1724 Will that work with my stretch marks? 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
1725 Stanley - Just stop. Please. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
1726 Oh no,dear. The Dali setting is only for watches. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
1727 That's the problem with Ozempic... Sure, you're thinner but you really start to notice the wrinkles. 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
1728 hot yoga 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
1729 I'm tired of your weaponized incompetence. 1.2373 0.05061 118 97 14 7
1730 You fool,nobody irons anymore 1.2373 0.04766 118 95 18 5
1731 I'm all for time-saving tips, but this is ridiculous 1.2373 0.04611 118 94 20 4
1732 Permanent press? 1.2373 0.04915 118 96 16 6
1733 You really want to press the issue Chip? Try the steam setting. 1.2373 0.04286 118 92 24 2
1734 This is your idea of a pressing problem? 1.2373 0.04451 118 93 22 3
1735 Slight wrinkle, there's no room for you in the closet 1.2371 0.04582 97 75 21 1
1736 Sweetie iron the suit BEFORE you put it on ok? 1.2370 0.04233 135 107 24 4
1737 You've taken this self-care thing too far. 1.2370 0.04608 135 110 18 7
1738 So, it looks like we are stumped again by the "Wash & Wear" tags. 1.2370 0.04233 135 107 24 4
1739 I identify as a dress shirt. 1.2368 0.05031 114 93 15 6
1740 One too many DIY books! 1.2368 0.04545 114 90 21 3
1741 and I found him in the dryer last week after the rain 1.2368 0.04712 114 91 19 4
1742 You got things ironed out I see 1.2366 0.04431 93 71 22 0
1743 I can always tell when you’re flat out lying. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1744 I had no idea you’re that depressed. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1745 Relax I said. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1746 Gerald, your antics are wearing quite thin. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1747 Flatlining 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1748 Oh dear, I forgot your dyslexia when I left that note about "dress to impress".... 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1749 Honey, not right now! I'm steamed. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1750 When I told you we needed to iron things out,it was just a figure of speech 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1751 What are you doing? That's a no-iron shirt. 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
1752 Silly man, you need more starch. 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
1753 You're flattering yourself. 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
1754 That's way too much starch! 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
1755 I'm still not taking you on my trip. There's only so much room in my suitcase. 1.2358 0.04354 106 82 23 1
1756 I never said this was a good idea. 1.2358 0.04354 106 82 23 1
1757 This isn't what I meant about ironing out our issues... 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
1758 That suit flatters you. 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
1759 Let me guess…you’re pressed for time? 1.2358 0.04354 106 82 23 1
1760 You take things so literally. This isn't how to iron out our problems. 1.2358 0.05043 123 102 13 8
1761 You are flat-out weird. 1.2358 0.04483 123 98 21 4
1762 Well if it isn't Mr. Efficiency himself. 1.2358 0.04483 123 98 21 4
1763 I knew you were running late, but this is flat-out ridiculous. 1.2353 0.04658 102 80 20 2
1764 That’s not what I meant when I said we had to try to straighten things out 1.2353 0.04658 102 80 20 2
1765 And it isn’t even plugged in. 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
1766 Is it plugged in? 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
1767 I said “you do the ironing,” not “iron yourself!” 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
1768 There's such a thing as too flat, Stanley. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
1769 You look like the starch has gone out of you. Or I guess today at work really flattened you. 1.2353 0.04445 102 79 22 1
1770 His Tinder profile did say, “Ironman world champion.” 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
1771 You never LISTEN...I said use the LOW setting! 1.2353 0.04658 102 80 20 2
1772 You will seriously do anything to get out of chores. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1773 When you said we could iron this out I didn’t think you meant literally 1.2353 0.04658 102 80 20 2
1774 This part is actually much more pleasant compared to being in the dryer. 1.2348 0.04146 132 104 25 3
1775 I said use the wrinkle-free setting 1.2348 0.04283 132 105 23 4
1776 The plane IS pretty bad, but I won’t mail you there. 1.2348 0.04670 132 108 17 7
1777 It appears you've had a change of perspective... 1.2348 0.04337 115 90 23 2
1778 Spray starch will not help you stand up to the boss. 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
1779 We were just supposed to iron out our problems, but Mark is an overachiever by all measures. 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
1780 You do the dishes and I'll do the laundry. 1.2348 0.05142 115 95 13 7
1781 Now, where are your bootstraps when we need them? 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
1782 This outta straighten him out 1.2348 0.04991 115 94 15 6
1783 No, Howard. I am NOT going to re-inflate you again. 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
1784 …so pressing that you needed to iron out a problem without us ? 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
1785 I told you the Hemsworth setting was too hot... 1.2347 0.04303 98 75 23 0
1786 This motherfucker. 1.2344 0.05141 128 108 10 10
1787 Aha! I’ve always suspected you were a part of the liberal press, 1.2344 0.04896 128 106 14 8
1788 I asked you just to wash and fold! 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
1789 I'm concerned about your latest fad diet. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1790 That Dali imitation is getting really old. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1791 I told you to grow a spine. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1792 You might get away with, Starch Man, but definitely not, Iron Man. 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
1793 I told you to feed the cat and THEN iron out the details 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1794 We have to iron out something in our relationship 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1795 this look will pair perfectly with your flat affect. 1.2340 0.05941 94 79 8 7
1796 I bet you’re really impressed with yourself. 1.2340 0.04884 94 74 18 2
1797 I'll get the starch. 1.2339 0.04873 124 102 15 7
1798 That’s not the way to get flat abs! 1.2339 0.04451 124 99 21 4
1799 When I suggested you should try ironing yourself.... 1.2339 0.04451 124 99 21 4
1800 Are you paid on a flat rate? 1.2339 0.04451 124 99 21 4
1801 "Yes, I know those safety warnings can seem ridiculous, but in this case, they were right." 1.2339 0.04596 124 100 19 5
1802 What in the world! Did you just iron yourself? 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
1803 I’ll grab a hanger so I can get you to work. 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
1804 Finally,now I can wear you to my job interview. 1.2336 0.04319 107 83 23 1
1805 Not bad for a first attempt. 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
1806 For the last time , you are NOT Iron Man!! 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
1807 I said I wanted a frappucino, not a flat white. 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
1808 You see what I mean about the starch 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
1809 You just 'flat' never pay attention to anything I say! 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
1810 Wow. The blue suit really is trimming. 1.2336 0.04319 107 83 23 1
1811 No, you cannot blame the cat this time. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
1812 That's the last time I'll let Dali do the laundry. 1.2333 0.04841 120 98 16 6
1813 Stanley, grow up already! 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
1814 Phillip, I told you to give me a minute and I’d do it for you! 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1815 No, I can't fix it. I warned you there was more to it than you knew. 1.2333 0.04694 120 97 18 5
1816 You need a woman's touch. 1.2333 0.04543 120 96 20 4
1817 Why are you always so dramatic?!? All I did is ask you to help with the laundry every once in a while! 1.2333 0.04543 120 96 20 4
1818 There's no need to act out how pressed you feel." 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
1819 This is not what Dr. Shapiro meant by getting more iron. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
1820 I said "put on your fat suit" not your "flat suit". 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
1821 I ask you to do the laundry one time and this is what happens. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
1822 That's not what self ironing means. 1.2330 0.05380 103 85 12 6
1823 Is this you being ironic? 1.2330 0.04407 103 80 22 1
1824 Next time let's just pay for dry cleaning. 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
1825 Why couldn’t you just use the steamer? 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
1826 Honey you're a great architect but you just can't create another Flatiron Building 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
1827 Hoyt, I hope you get The Thin Man part, but this director likes a wrinkle or two in his characters. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
1828 Is this because I wouldn't let you use my anti-aging cream? 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
1829 I warned you about the perils of DIY. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
1830 The day that Contrary Colin misheard "don't flatter yourself" was the day he started taking things too far. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
1831 You forgot to put a crease in your pants. 1.2328 0.05101 116 96 13 7
1832 You forgot to use starch. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
1833 When I suggested we iron out our differences this is not exactly what I meant. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
1834 Your taking the Flat Stanley costume too far. 1.2328 0.05246 116 97 11 8
1835 I thought you were being ironic. 1.2326 0.04472 129 104 20 5
1836 Didn't I tell you to go easy on the fabric softener? 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
1837 Stanley! Not again! 1.2326 0.05889 86 71 10 5
1838 This is what you had in mind when I said you had to iron out all the details? 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
1839 We've had a hard time ironing out our differences. 1.2326 0.04472 129 104 20 5
1840 I don't think this is what they meant by 'flatten the curve.'" 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
1841 That's certainly an ironclad argument!" " I'm imPRESSED! 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
1842 who said you could use my iron. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
1843 Just ironing out a few issues 1.2323 0.04501 99 77 21 1
1844 I think you've really got to get over this obsession with Dali... 1.2321 0.04909 112 91 16 5
1845 This is why househusband is not a word. 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
1846 Okay, I think we need go over the pros and cons of the permanent-press setting again. 1.2321 0.04909 112 91 16 5
1847 No. First iron; then get dressed. 1.2321 0.04570 112 89 20 3
1848 This is not what I meant by permanent press. 1.2321 0.04390 112 88 22 2
1849 When you said the issue was pressing... 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
1850 I said you need to learn to express yourself. 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
1851 I get it, no creases. 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
1852 I didn't mean it literally when I said you could press your suit in five minutes flat. 1.2316 0.04601 95 74 20 1
1853 That's not what I meant when I said iron out your problems. 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
1854 You look taller in that suit. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
1855 I can't believe you're trying the "I accidentally ironed myself" again. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
1856 You flatter yourself," I said, not "flatten yourself 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
1857 You're supposed to remove the suit first 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
1858 Looks good! Would you like me to stencil "WELCOME" up your pant leg? 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
1859 Looks like flattery finally got me somewhere. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
1860 You misread the tag; the suit is 'non-iron,' not 'on-iron.' 1.2315 0.04284 108 84 23 1
1861 Honey you are flat out gorgeous! 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
1862 I think we've ironed out our differences 1.2315 0.04284 108 84 23 1
1863 Frankly,a crease would improve the look 1.2314 0.04805 121 99 16 6
1864 When I said that we need to iron a few things out I didn’t think you’d take it literally. 1.2313 0.03952 134 105 27 2
1865 I told you when you bought it that outfit wasn’t wash and wear. 1.2313 0.04357 134 108 21 5
1866 Stan, you've got too much starch in your diet. 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
1867 I knew you'd been feeling pressed lately. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
1868 You know, it's easier if you take the suit of before you iron. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
1869 Maybe try the 'tumble-dry' next time. 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
1870 It says “drip dry” 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
1871 You should have told me to use starch 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
1872 You don't iron wash-and-wear. 1.2308 0.04441 130 105 20 5
1873 How was your first day working at the dry cleaners? 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
1874 I told you you needed more starch in your diet. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
1875 Well so much for that idea. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
1876 OK, you're Ironman. Now will you feed the cat please? 1.2308 0.04441 130 105 20 5
1877 Pressing matters 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
1878 At least you can still work from home. 1.2308 0.04151 104 80 24 0
1879 I told you we’d iron things out at some point. 1.2302 0.03996 139 110 26 3
1880 I told you that I was pressed for time. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
1881 You've been going flat out all week. 1.2301 0.05184 113 94 12 7
1882 Next time try adding more starch. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
1883 That's not what I meant when I said iron yourself! 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
1884 Stanley, you're supposed to turn the clothes inside out. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
1885 Ironing while intoxicated...again? 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
1886 I know it's cheaper than flying...but I'm not going to mail you overseas. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
1887 Ready to fold? 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
1888 You are supposed to remove the suit before you iron it. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1889 I'm glad we got this ironed out. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1890 At least you're not depressed any more. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1891 Ok, you've proved you're flat out funny. 1.2300 0.04683 100 79 19 2
1892 Oh, great, and we're out of hangers. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
1893 The kid at the help desk said it might be a 3D printer hacker. 1.2300 0.04683 100 79 19 2
1894 I see you’ve ironed yourself out. 1.2300 0.04683 100 79 19 2
1895 I see you've finally straightened out. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
1896 Thought you could just slip by me? 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1897 So you really are hard pressed. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
1898 If you promise to stop, next Christmas we WILL get you a REAL Iron Man suit. 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
1899 Hey, You got the keys? I’m gonna take this dog for a poop. 1.2299 0.06052 87 73 8 6
1900 Honey, I suggest you go back to the office. This working from home is not going well. 1.2299 0.04823 87 68 18 1
1901 Is this what you meant when you finally agreed to see a shrink? 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
1902 I told you so. Every single gadget doesn't need to be controlled by an app. 1.2295 0.04322 122 97 22 3
1903 Are you pressed for time hon 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1904 That's not what I meant when I said you have some problems that need ironing out. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1905 I think we're going to need a lot more starch here. 1.2294 0.05154 109 90 13 6
1906 I know you're pressed for time but would you mind walking the dog? 1.2294 0.05154 109 90 13 6
1907 OK, but I still think the steam room would be easier 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
1908 Ironically, that suit is permanent press. 1.2294 0.04446 109 86 21 2
1909 Would you pass me the iron, please? 1.2294 0.04250 109 85 23 1
1910 Were you even listening when the therapist told us to iron things out? 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
1911 So, when you said you still had a few wrinkles to iron out… 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
1912 ...but his TikTok video has gone viral! 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
1913 So, you are right handed! 1.2294 0.05316 109 91 11 7
1914 You're not going to impress a girl from Flatbush! 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
1915 I'm not sure if that'll help your speech go smoothly or if now it'll fall flat. 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
1916 I knew he was square but I didn't realize he was flat! 1.2294 0.04446 109 86 21 2
1917 Well, this is a new wrinkle. 1.2292 0.05437 96 79 12 5
1918 What did I warn you about internet diet hacks? 1.2292 0.04794 96 76 18 2
1919 I don't think this is what the doctor meant when he suggested an iron supplement. 1.2292 0.04794 96 76 18 2
1920 Whatever you say, but "Flat Ernie" is a trademark infringement. 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
1921 And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife And you may ask yourself, ‘Well, how did I get here?’ 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
1922 Now we’re flat broke. 1.2290 0.04275 131 105 22 4
1923 When they asked you to run for office this is not what they meant by press the flesh. 1.2290 0.04542 131 107 18 6
1924 We're sending you back to your mother. 1.2288 0.05022 118 98 13 7
1925 Your irony fell flat again? 1.2288 0.04408 118 94 21 3
1926 I guess the ad did say "tidy flatmate" 1.2288 0.04725 118 96 17 5
1927 When I said, "Why don't you iron yourself?", you forgot my ineptness with reflexive pronouns. 1.2288 0.05303 118 100 9 9
1928 You still look your age! 1.2288 0.04569 118 95 19 4
1929 I said you flatter yourself, not flatten yourself. 1.2288 0.04240 118 93 23 2
1930 I don't think this is what the doctor meant when he said to straighten out your life. 1.2288 0.04876 118 97 15 6
1931 Please tell me Miss Kitty's fresh sardines aren't still in your jacket pocket. 1.2288 0.05022 118 98 13 7
1932 Seriously... 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1933 My mother is here, and yes we still see you. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
1934 Honey, I'm telling you. You have a self-medication issue. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1935 I wish I could help you out, but I'm sorry, honey, I'm just flat out of steam. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
1936 You're nice and flat, except for the head part. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1937 You’re supposed to take off the suit first. 1.2283 0.04211 127 101 23 3
1938 That’s what you get for letting off some steam 1.2283 0.04357 127 102 21 4
1939 Honey, I don’t think that’s what they meant when they said to iron things out. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1940 You are still wrinkled. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1941 We're still going to couples therapy, you can't just iron out your relationship with your mom. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1942 this is a painful way to appear straight … 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1943 How were you able to do that without plugging it in? 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1944 I thought you were wash and wear! 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1945 I'm glad we got that straightened out. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1946 What is the pressing mater this time? 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1947 No, it didn't remove your facial wrinkles... 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1948 Too much softener. 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1949 :All right, all right, I'll do the ironing this week." 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1950 The tie! Just the tie! 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1951 At this point I'm thinking more starch 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
1952 ExPRESS yourself! 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
1953 I warned you about the "steam" option. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
1954 I'd recommend adding starch to your diet. 1.2277 0.05428 101 84 11 6
1955 I know you’re pressed for time…but.. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
1956 I was going for sharp, but I ended up flat. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
1957 Oh, honey - I just asked for a flat white 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
1958 I told you things would iron themselves out but no, you wouldn’t listen 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
1959 I forgot to give him a blow job this morning. 1.2276 0.04591 123 100 18 5
1960 I told him "That iron-clad agreement won't end well." 1.2276 0.04443 123 99 20 4
1961 No, I said IRONY is dead 1.2276 0.04734 123 101 16 6
1962 you don’t know what iron man is, do you 1.2276 0.04591 123 100 18 5
1963 A little startch will help you with your posture. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
1964 I said "Iron IT yourself," not, "Iron YOURSELF!" 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
1965 That does not make you an Ironman!” 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
1966 I told you to take it off first! 1.2273 0.04775 88 69 18 1
1967 He's flat-ironed! 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
1968 You are SO literal”….I simply said “there were some things we needed to iron out” 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
1969 You’re supposed to take your clothes off first 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
1970 Not that kind of iron deficiency. 1.2273 0.05271 110 92 11 7
1971 You've taken 'permanent press' to a whole new level. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
1972 I am not that flat 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
1973 I know it's Wash'nWear. But it says: Iron only when necessary. 1.2273 0.05271 110 92 11 7
1974 We need to straighten some things out" is a metaphor, Joe 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
1975 That was work. They've postponed today's Iron Man contest. 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
1976 What I said was you have no sense of self irony 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
1977 'He did say he felt a bit flat this week' 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
1978 "If the label says Wash & Wear, it doesn't mean at the same time. 1.2269 0.04535 119 96 19 4
1979 This is not what I expected when you told me you’re training for an ironman competition. 1.2269 0.04839 119 98 15 6
1980 Now at least you can say “ your pressed for time” 1.2269 0.04535 119 96 19 4
1981 There is already an iron man. 1.2269 0.04375 119 95 21 3
1982 His apartment is in the Flatiron Building. 1.2269 0.04535 119 96 19 4
1983 What can I say, I got board 1.2269 0.04535 119 96 19 4
1984 Good. Now if I roll you up you shouldn’t have wrinkles when you get there. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
1985 You gotta take it off, Kent 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
1986 Frankly, I think you've got much more pressing issues to iron out. 1.2266 0.04602 128 105 17 6
1987 I told you not to press your luck. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1988 I don’t think that’s what they meant when they said machine wash cold, dry flat. And, Stan, you know they said no iron. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
1989 You said 10 minutes flat! 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1990 Did I forget to mention your suit is permanent press 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1991 I told you he was smooth. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
1992 Now don't tell me you didn't put yourself through the rinse cycle first. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1993 Long Covid. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
1994 When I said “go iron yourself” I didn’t actually mean it. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
1995 Well? Did you iron out our differences? 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
1996 I told you he’s a fucking idiot. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1997 When I said, "We'll put your clothes in the overhead........" 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1998 "I thought you said you were de-pressed!" 1.2262 0.04895 84 66 17 1
1999 I told you: if you're going to multi-task, do it in the kitchen so you can make us paninis. 1.2262 0.04592 84 65 19 0
2000 You're spreading me too thin, Linda. 1.2261 0.04950 115 95 14 6
2001 I suppose you'll try to blame this on the cat, too! 1.2261 0.04793 115 94 16 5
2002 My patience for you is wearing thin. 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
2003 I don't think that's what he meant when he told you we should iron out our differences... 1.2261 0.04793 115 94 16 5
2004 Yes you got the wrinkeles. Bot, no... 1.2261 0.04464 115 92 20 3
2005 I still think botox would be better. 1.2261 0.04464 115 92 20 3
2006 You have to stop bending over backwards all the time. 1.2261 0.04289 115 91 22 2
2007 You were right. The user manual DIDN'T say not to. 1.2261 0.04464 115 92 20 3
2008 And you say I'm the one with no sense of irony. 1.2261 0.04793 115 94 16 5
2009 Iron-ic. All washed up. Board and flat. Whatever suits you, you said. And me with my dryer sense of humor. Oh to be so stiff. Punny isn't it? 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
2010 I told you it was a left-handed iron 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
2011 I got carried away 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
2012 Yet again your humor falls flat, Bon. 1.2261 0.04793 115 94 16 5
2013 I’ve always said you are too easily impressed. 1.2261 0.04950 115 95 14 6
2014 Maybe you should've used a lower setting. 1.2261 0.04464 115 92 20 3
2015 I said, 'IronY' 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2016 Wow you’re really committing to this whole weaponized incompetence thing, aren’t you? 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2017 I think we ironed out everything 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
2018 Well, they didn’t call him Iron Man for nothin’ 1.2258 0.04411 124 100 20 4
2019 Did you take your blue pills today? 1.2258 0.06140 93 80 5 8
2020 I see you found an iron deficiency treatment on social media. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2021 The beauty standards Flat Stanley imposed on young men… 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2022 Honey, you asked me to iron out your wrinkles 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
2023 What part of "wrinkle free" fabric didn't you understand? 1.2256 0.03939 133 105 26 2
2024 Thats not what I meant when I said "we need to iron out some differences" 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2025 This isn’t bad. You should have seen me after I came out of the washer. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2026 All I did was to tell him to straighten himself out 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2027 Congratulations. Your obsession with saving time has finally caught up with you. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2028 I can see you're just "flat out" again 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2029 I did not mean THIS when I said we need to iron out our problems! 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2030 „Honey, could you please flip me over and iron the back of the shirt?“ 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2031 This isn’t what I meant when I said you needed to straighten yourself out. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2032 This is a wrinkle I wasn’t expecting. 1.2252 0.04904 111 91 15 5
2033 Steve--I thought you were planning to set yourself on drip/dry. 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
2034 This is not what I meant when I said we needed to iron things out. 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
2035 Honey, just pay up for the extra leg room next time. 1.2252 0.05228 111 93 11 7
2036 I warned you about Auto Erotic Martinizing. 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
2037 REALLY??? THIS IS BEYOND IRONING OUT OUR DIFFERENCES!!! 1.2248 0.04296 129 104 21 4
2038 I tried to tell you that sleeping in your clothes doesn't really save time in the morning. 1.2248 0.04435 129 105 19 5
2039 I know you're getting ready for work, but mittens wants her toys out from under the fridge. 1.2248 0.04951 129 109 11 9
2040 I know you told me you have some pressing issues at the moment but this is going a bit far... 1.2248 0.04435 129 105 19 5
2041 What are you doing in the laundry room, Stanley? I thought you said you had a pressing engagement! 1.2247 0.05926 89 75 8 6
2042 I meant take the shirt and pants off before ironing them. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2043 Okay! I get it. You’re bored. 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
2044 Hang on, I’ll get the starch spray. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2045 I think I liked him more when he was de-pressed. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2046 Wow. Weaponized incompetence gone nuclear. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2047 Hmmm now I miss your beer belly 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2048 I told you we could iron out our differences. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2049 Yoga and ironing.....that's multitasking for you. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
2050 Hard day at work? 1.2245 0.04478 98 77 20 1
2051 So much for 'Iron Man' sequels. 1.2245 0.04478 98 77 20 1
2052 Dad was trying to iron out a problem 1.2245 0.04478 98 77 20 1
2053 Well, that's a new wrinkle! 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2054 Wouldn't botox be easier? 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2055 Really, Greg? This is a whole new level of weaponized incompetence. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2056 Well you actually did a pretty good job 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2057 On the other hand, you won’t have to worry about finding your door keys. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2058 Your appearance won't matter until you stand up for yourself. 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2059 So this is what iron deficiency looks like. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2060 Impressed with yourself? 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2061 I'm pretty sure that the label doesn't say, "Wash & Wear then Iron." 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2062 These clothes just didn’t iron themselves! 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2063 Your pressing yourself too hard! 1.2241 0.04756 116 95 16 5
2064 Stuart, “relaxed fit” means they don’t NEED to be ironed. 1.2241 0.04257 116 92 22 2
2065 I said do it yourself not to yourself. 1.2241 0.04756 116 95 16 5
2066 He tried to enter the Iron Man competition, but he fell flat. 1.2241 0.04756 116 95 16 5
2067 What happened ? I listened to this damned new Ai Iron that said I didn't even have to take my clothes off to get them ironed. Like a fool I said "Hey, this I gotta to see". 1.2241 0.04077 116 91 24 1
2068 Honey, like I said, you'll get better creases if you iron your suit first, and then put it on. 1.2241 0.04756 116 95 16 5
2069 Is this because I said my ex did the Ironman? 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
2070 You never listen, I told you, the ,'Self-Serve,' at this Dry Cleaners, was HARD! 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
2071 Your body is thin, but your skull is still thick 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2072 Hmmm....I may have forgotten an important step 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2073 You really should find a healthier way to blow off steam. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2074 That’s not what I meant when I said we need to iron out our differences. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2075 What part of 'dry clean only' did you not understand? 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2076 OK you made your point. You do have depth, serious thought and understanding. 1.2234 0.04319 94 73 21 0
2077 I told you that suit was dry-clean only. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2078 ...weaponized incompetence. You know perfectly well that you're dry clean only. 1.2234 0.05486 94 78 11 5
2079 Last week, it was running with scissors, and now THIS? 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2080 My blood report said I need more iron 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2081 This is why you don't iron your shirt while wearing it. 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
2082 He should have had more starch in his diet 1.2233 0.04348 103 81 21 1
2083 Flat Stanley did it again! 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2084 When I said you have some pressing needs..... 1.2233 0.04348 103 81 21 1
2085 Have you seen my flatmate? 1.2233 0.04348 103 81 21 1
2086 He thought I was too flat for him...huh, that's ironic. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
2087 Gordon, Letterman stopped doing Stupid Human Tricks years ago. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
2088 Now get this straight...I'm not your laundress! 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
2089 I just said I liked Flat Stanley when I was a kid. Geez. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
2090 I thought it was wash and wear. 1.2231 0.04310 121 97 21 3
2091 I know you said it was a pressing matter, but really! 1.2231 0.04619 121 99 17 5
2092 The irony of this is you are wearing wrinkle-free... 1.2231 0.04267 130 105 21 4
2093 I told you to iron out your problems, not yourself, Stanley! 1.2222 0.03996 144 116 24 4
2094 Men, you are all the same. You will just not listen to any instructions. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2095 That's not what I meant when I told you to iron it out. 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
2096 Quit dilly-Dali-ing. 1.2222 0.05478 99 83 10 6
2097 No, I said, 'self-iron-Y,' Phil." 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2098 I always knew you didn't have a backbone... 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2099 It's a shame all of you didn't get stiff 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
2100 Yes. Your Doctor did say your iron levels are low. 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
2101 Harold, I really think it’s time we move out of the Flatiron District. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2102 Tired? Of course you are. End the 5-day working week. 1.2222 0.04407 90 70 20 0
2103 Not what I meant when I said next time Iron with your clothes on. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
2104 You didn't need the steam. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2105 I told you, FOLDED. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2106 He finally did something right. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2107 You weren't supposed to iron the pleats out. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2108 I wasn't pressing you to iron out the wrinkles in our relationship 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
2109 How did you get this from, “I need you to help more around the house.”? 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2110 You lost a button. 1.2222 0.05151 108 90 12 6
2111 John, when I said I wanted to explore the flatiron district in Manhattan, this is not what I meant! 1.2222 0.04229 108 85 22 1
2112 Still haven’t gotten all the wrinkles out. . 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
2113 I'm permanently impressed. 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
2114 Your anti-aging skincare routine is getting out of hand. 1.2214 0.03935 140 112 25 3
2115 Oh Wally, I could of told you it was drip dry. 1.2213 0.04584 122 100 17 5
2116 Typical. Does life always have to be two dimensional with you? 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
2117 You’ve had enough iron, maybe try some other vitamins? 1.2212 0.04306 113 90 21 2
2118 Let me guess. The Persistence of Wrinkles. 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
2119 Oh look, it's Tony Starch. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2120 Arghh - you didn't listen. Take it off first! 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2121 Good Job! Next time, remove the suit first. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2122 Jimmy just loved charades. But that last phrase - Ironside - did him in. 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
2123 Because you told me to 'Straighten' myself out! 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
2124 Why put yourself through this on casual Friday? 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
2125 You did say, "I need to straighten out." 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2126 Just stick to washing the dishes. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2127 Bad news Harry! Those pants you're wearing are pleated. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2128 NOW who’s flat chested? 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2129 I meant use ‘permanent press’ for the dryer cycle. 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
2130 This is because I freaked out about the dick piercing, isn't it? 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2131 This isn't what they meant by iron deficiency. 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
2132 Is this about your tryout for that Bugs Bunny steamroller scene? 1.2211 0.04534 95 75 19 1
2133 When I suggested we iron out our differences, this is not what I had in mind! 1.2211 0.04534 95 75 19 1
2134 Neat! I tend to do it standing up. 1.2211 0.04775 95 76 17 2
2135 The doctor says you need more starch in your diet. 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2136 Well, I think you’ve inadvertently ironed-out some of my issues. 1.2209 0.04794 86 68 17 1
2137 I thought we could iron this out eventually. 1.2203 0.04525 118 96 18 4
2138 I thought I made it clear you have to take your clothes off before you iron. 1.2203 0.04525 118 96 18 4
2139 Our differences are ironreconcilable.” 1.2203 0.04193 118 94 22 2
2140 Hey, Iron Man, what’s with you and laundry? 1.2203 0.04525 118 96 18 4
2141 So anyways, Becca from work is so unpleasant 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
2142 Earth balls are easy. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
2143 I said you need to iron out your issue, not iron out your tissue. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
2144 Honey, next time, less starch. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
2145 That guy on Tiktok said it would step up my dewy skin game. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
2146 Other than everything, what part of ‘self-esteem’ don’t you get? 1.2202 0.04195 109 86 22 1
2147 Look Gerry, when I said ' There's a few things we've got to iron out ..' 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
2148 Honey, just because they call you “a suit”, it doesn’t mean you have to iron yourself. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2149 Nice to see you’ve ironed yourself out, but I don’t see where the problems went. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2150 Just as I suspected Bonnie Boo - flat broke 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2151 You know, they now have Botox to remove wrinkles! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2152 Wow. There's still a crease. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2153 It's evident your flat-out lying, again! 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2154 You may be an efficiency expert at work, but at home you have no idea how to make my work easier. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2155 Oh for pleat’s sake. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2156 I know I said you should be able to iron yourself, but that’s not what I meant. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2157 Good job, Honey but ditch the glasses. Sardine Air is pretty strict on excess-human. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
2158 That tie just doesn’t go with your jacket. 1.2198 0.05806 91 77 8 6
2159 Frank, I don’t think that this is what the therapist meant when he said we need to iron out some of our issues 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
2160 You really need to switch to wrinkle free suits. 1.2195 0.04835 123 103 13 7
2161 Like I always tell people, my husband can flat-out iron! 1.2193 0.04273 114 91 21 2
2162 I'm not certain that this is how one trains for an ironman. 1.2193 0.04946 114 95 13 6
2163 OMG. I said flattery will get you anywhere. 1.2193 0.04622 114 93 17 4
2164 The iron finally found you. 1.2193 0.04087 114 90 23 1
2165 I still don't think it was worth removing all your bones. 1.2193 0.04946 114 95 13 6
2166 And how much time did you save? 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2167 Not sure this would be the opposite of depressed. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2168 When I said, 'Straighten yourself out, Charlie,' I didn't mean -flatten! 1.2190 0.04276 105 83 21 1
2169 I knew you could iron out the biggest problem in our relationship 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
2170 Are you working at the Flatiron building again? 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
2171 You should have just bought a larger size suit. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2172 Do you want me to impress you? 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2173 You see? Men NEVER read the instruction manual. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2174 Think of all the spontaneous hallway conversations you'll have now that everyone's back at the office. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2175 Eat more starch. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
2176 Honey, “you really need to straighten up” is just a figure of speech. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
2177 Now I get why you've seemed a bit flat lately. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2178 You’ve been going flat out? Look at me! 1.2190 0.04056 105 82 23 0
2179 When I booked Iron Man for my son’s birthday party this wasn’t what I meant.. 1.2190 0.05238 105 88 11 6
2180 This is not how you fix your iron deficiency, honey. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2181 No. You need calcium not IRON. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2182 Not what I meant by ironing out our differences. 1.2188 0.04492 96 76 19 1
2183 I feel like your laziness has reached a whole new level. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2184 I love the initiative, but I think that suit is dry clean only. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2185 Is this what one calls a Flat lining? 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
2186 I’m sure I said ‘No starch’. 1.2188 0.05381 96 80 11 5
2187 So I forgot once to bring your suits to the cleaners , don't you think this is a little bit dramatic? 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
2188 Does this mean you'll have new pronouns? 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
2189 I told you to read the instructions first. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2190 Hon, I think it's best to learn your limits to irony. 1.2188 0.05581 96 81 9 6
2191 Tom, we’ve talked about this. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2192 Next time, remember step #1 is take off your suit. 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
2193 Ah, another pressing engagement, I saa. 1.2185 0.04647 119 98 16 5
2194 Starch is two bucks extra. 1.2185 0.04329 119 96 20 3
2195 You’re scaring the cat. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2196 I think you misunderstood when I asked for your work life to decrease. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2197 That’s NOT what I meant by we have to iron things out! 1.2184 0.04455 87 68 19 0
2198 I told you, Botox is good enough for wrinkles!! 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2199 When I said you smooth everything out before ironing, I didn’t mean you. 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2200 Do I have to pick up the dry cleaning again? 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2201 Now turn on your side to crease the pants. 1.2184 0.04455 87 68 19 0
2202 Okay, I suppose you're right. "Step 1: Remove clothing" should be started rather than implied. But do you see my point that your need to be right has become self-destructive? 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2203 On second thought, the suit didn't make you look THAT fat. 1.2182 0.04545 110 89 18 3
2204 Ironing you flat won't stiffen your backbone. 1.2182 0.04161 110 87 22 1
2205 That's not a very flattering look on you. 1.2182 0.04725 110 90 16 4
2206 Really, with a million lo-carb options, you chose this 1.2182 0.04161 110 87 22 1
2207 Not exactly the iron man I was hoping for 1.2182 0.04161 110 87 22 1
2208 Well, this is an unexpected wrinkle in our relationship. 1.2182 0.04357 110 88 20 2
2209 Are you sure you’re ready to go back into the office? 1.2182 0.04545 110 89 18 3
2210 Oh my God! You are so right. I have no spine! 1.2182 0.04357 110 88 20 2
2211 So, did you listen to me when I suggested a wrinkle-free suit? 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
2212 It’s wash then wear 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
2213 Good start. Just take off the suit and I'll finish up. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2214 This is not the way to iron out our problems. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2215 He has only himself to blame 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2216 How Flattering!! 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2217 should i do it from now on? 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2218 Looks like we got all our problems ironed out. 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2219 Stanley, why can't you just take a plane like everyone else? 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
2220 That’s not what the doctor had in mind when he said you have an iron deficiency. 1.2178 0.05378 101 85 10 6
2221 At least we got that ‘ironed out’. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2222 Sooooo, you’re really serious about not having children? 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2223 So this is your idea of ironing things out? 1.2178 0.04361 101 80 20 1
2224 Okay, you can put yourself back in the closet, but no wire hangers! 1.2178 0.05378 101 85 10 6
2225 Straighten yourself out or I'm outta here! 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2226 When i said to straighten out, i didn't mean literally, 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
2227 You're supposed to take the suit off 1.2174 0.04416 115 93 19 3
2228 You weren’t kidding about being flat out bored. 1.2174 0.04240 115 92 21 2
2229 You're too literal. I just wanted us to iron things out. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
2230 Marvin, that's not how you get to be Ironman. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
2231 That’s a tough way to go. But he did say he was flat out tired of life. 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
2232 Is this your idea of self-care? 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
2233 I just assumed you'd use starch, Salvador. 1.2174 0.05535 92 77 10 5
2234 Making the rest of you limp doesn't negate the underlying problem. 1.2174 0.04907 115 96 13 6
2235 You shouldn’t give me any more reasons to hang you. 1.2174 0.04592 92 73 18 1
2236 That's not what I expected when he said he had an iron deficiency. 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
2237 if that doesn’t straighten him out, I give up 1.2174 0.04416 115 93 19 3
2238 Windy today...should probably do extra starch. 1.2170 0.04447 106 85 19 2
2239 I didn't know that you were pressed for time. 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
2240 And this Morris, is the modern Beta-male. Flattens with a steam, is very foldable, but lacks a spine. 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
2241 I would’ve used a lower setting, but you do you, dear. 1.2170 0.04645 106 86 17 3
2242 Ironing is not for the weak 1.2170 0.05017 106 88 13 5
2243 But it’s not even plugged in. 1.2170 0.05017 106 88 13 5
2244 Sorry, Dear, but empty suits can't iron themselves. 1.2170 0.04645 106 86 17 3
2245 Really?! I told you that you shouldn’t iron this out alone! 1.2170 0.04447 106 85 19 2
2246 ...and that suit still isn't 'flattering' 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
2247 I said you need to straighten out. 1.2170 0.04447 106 85 19 2
2248 I was just trying to iron out some of the details... 1.2167 0.04611 120 99 16 5
2249 I know you were pressed for time. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2250 Honey, you're supposed to take off the clothes first 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2251 Spin dry was too much. 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2252 You never heard of starch? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2253 Is this just temporary, because you're facing the full court? Or is this permanent press? 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2254 I’m going to take the dog for a walk. Will you be here when I get back? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2255 I guess being an empty suit IS good for something. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2256 Depressed again? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2257 I don’t think this is what they meant when they said you need to “get ready for the Ironman!” 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2258 You've become so one-sided about everything. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2259 What pressing matter was it this time? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2260 You’re supposed to take the suit off before pressing it! 1.2162 0.04322 111 89 20 2
2261 Wow, you really are impressed with yourself, aren’t you? 1.2162 0.04686 111 91 16 4
2262 I guess it saves time. 1.2162 0.04508 111 90 18 3
2263 That’s not what I meant by “iron out our kinks.” 1.2162 0.04858 111 92 14 5
2264 You definitely have some pressing issues to deal with in your life. 1.2162 0.05023 111 93 12 6
2265 This ambition to dress to impress is wearing thin. 1.2162 0.04128 111 88 22 1
2266 This does not count towards ironing out our differences. 1.2160 0.04030 125 100 23 2
2267 this isn't what I meant by creating an iron-clad marraige 1.2160 0.04484 125 103 17 5
2268 Tell me you avoided the inside leg. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2269 The book butcher on the cover says that this is too woke. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2270 I’m telling you, you’ve got to use more starch. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2271 This is the last time I’m getting out the bicycle pump early in the morning. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2272 Should I get the spray Viagra? 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2273 That is not how you achieve “Ironman” status. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2274 If you really want to get rid of your wrinkles just eat less sugar 1.2157 0.04951 102 84 14 4
2275 Not all time savers are worth it, Stanley! 1.2157 0.05144 102 85 12 5
2276 Hard day at the office took the starch right out of you, huh? 1.2157 0.05144 102 85 12 5
2277 You missed the wrinkles in your brow. 1.2157 0.04323 102 81 20 1
2278 I know you have a pressing engagement but . . . 1.2157 0.05329 102 86 10 6
2279 Didn’t I tell you to not use the steam setting on wool? 1.2157 0.04093 102 80 22 0
2280 This isn’t how to prepare for an Ironman Triathlon.” 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
2281 ironee 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
2282 You win. You're the OG Flat Stanley. 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
2283 Perfect! And I’ll bet we can even squeeze you into a carry-on. 1.2157 0.04323 102 81 20 1
2284 Straighten up. And fly right. 1.2157 0.05329 102 86 10 6
2285 I don’t think this is a suitable alternative to Botox. 1.2157 0.05144 102 85 12 5
2286 Next time, don’t try to hypnotize the cat. 1.2157 0.04951 102 84 14 4
2287 No, that’s not what ‘ironic’ means, either. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
2288 Oh, Jim, I love your commitment to making our marriage work. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
2289 Stanley, I think it's time to give it up. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
2290 Honey, were you on TikTok again? 1.2157 0.05329 102 86 10 6
2291 Need to make sure I’m looking suitably smart for my board meeting. 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
2292 Here's my ironed man. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
2293 Next time, try a little less starch, 1.2155 0.04550 116 95 17 4
2294 Thank God it’s not your day to mow the lawn. 1.2155 0.04550 116 95 17 4
2295 I told you not to use high heat! 1.2155 0.04382 116 94 19 3
2296 Well, this might improve your chances of being hired by the modern art museum after all... 1.2155 0.04711 116 96 15 5
2297 It's the best ironing board cover I ever had 1.2155 0.04382 116 94 19 3
2298 You’re sure impressed with yourself! 1.2155 0.04207 116 93 21 2
2299 This is exactly what the therapist meant by “weaponized incompetence.” 1.2155 0.04550 116 95 17 4
2300 I meant that we need to iron out our problems 1.2152 0.06155 79 67 7 5
2301 Now *that's* ironic! 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
2302 I told you it wouldn't save you any time at all. 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
2303 Honey, you know that's PERMANENT press right? 1.2151 0.05481 93 78 10 5
2304 What? You’d rather I hang dry your suit? 1.2151 0.04798 93 75 16 2
2305 Nice one Stan, I thought we agreed to iron things out… together. 1.2151 0.04284 93 73 20 0
2306 See, this is one of those opportunities the therapist talked about, when you could show a little vulnerability and not try to do everything yourself. 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
2307 The doctor said you need more iron, not you need to be ironed. 1.2151 0.04548 93 74 18 1
2308 Hun, I think you’re suffering from an iron deficiency. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
2309 It’s wash and wear, not iron and wear! 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
2310 So have we ironed out all our problems then? 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
2311 I see you used your grandmother's mangle again. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
2312 Give it up Tony... your Iron Man thingy just isn't working. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
2313 Stanley! Have you been flattening again? 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
2314 You missed a couple wrinkles on your forehead. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
2315 I think we disagree on how to iron out our differences 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
2316 I said ‘grease’.” Submitted by DouglasMonaghan Floral Park, New York 1100 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
2317 I told you not to keep repressing your feelings this way. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
2318 And you said I was repressed?! 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
2319 This is why I said wait an hour before taking any more edibles 1.2150 0.05148 107 90 11 6
2320 I thought you were depressed. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
2321 He wouldn't take it off. 1.2149 0.03929 121 96 24 1
2322 And here we thought that flat characters were only an element of fiction. 1.2149 0.04424 121 99 18 4
2323 All I said was, if you iron that suit you’d look a lot slimmer. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2324 Well this is ironic. 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
2325 Now let’s see you do Man of Steel 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2326 This isn't what I meant when I told you to iron yourself. 1.2143 0.04288 112 90 20 2
2327 Maybe a little starch after all? 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2328 Have you been taking your iron supplements?” 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2329 I don't think this is what your editor meant by hot off the press. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2330 You said, "This needs ironing." I said "Iron it yourself." IT! Iron IT yourself. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
2331 You look really steamed. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2332 This is ass backwards 1.2143 0.05475 98 83 9 6
2333 He’s wrinkle free? 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2334 Frank, c'mon! No one uses irons anymore. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2335 next time, eat more starches 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
2336 Aren’t you taking the flat Stanley project a bit too far Bob? 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
2337 I don’t know if this comical or ironic. 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
2338 Mathew took Linda's accusation of learned helplessness quite badly 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2339 ^ It's a combination of too much starch, being in a hurry, and giving blood twice in one month. " 1.2137 0.04514 117 96 17 4
2340 I think what they meant was a swim, a bike ride and a run. 1.2137 0.04830 117 98 13 6
2341 That suit looks flattering on you. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2342 This is not a time for your self-irony! 1.2136 0.05281 103 87 10 6
2343 You really shouldn't have tried to iron things out on your own. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2344 Oh Flat Stanley, now you are a brainless corporate sycophant! 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2345 I see you're dressed, pressed and ready for success. 1.2136 0.04286 103 82 20 1
2346 Um, dry cleaners don't work from home. 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
2347 I’m guessing you expect me to do the back? 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2348 At what point does a life hack become a life impairment? 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2349 Maybe you should try ironing things out in therapy 1.2136 0.04058 103 81 22 0
2350 Yet when I get treatments for my fine lines, I’m high maintenance? 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
2351 Just ironing out some lil flaws. 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2352 Maybe a little less starch next time 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
2353 Baby, you got to iron out your problems. 1.2135 0.04651 89 71 17 1
2354 Next time, let me do the Ironing! 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
2355 Trying to do your own laundry again? 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
2356 So then I said- wait, what just happened? 1.2135 0.05643 89 75 9 5
2357 So I take it you’re not into kinks. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
2358 No, I don't think this is what your therapist meant by "letting things iron themselves out." 1.2131 0.04234 122 99 20 3
2359 I told you to use the mid-management setting ! 1.2131 0.04391 122 100 18 4
2360 I meant ironing out our differences, figuratively! 1.2130 0.04373 108 87 19 2
2361 Now I'm just guessing here, but did you make another crack about the way the Melvina irons your shirts? 1.2130 0.04931 108 90 13 5
2362 Your joke is falling flat. 1.2130 0.04373 108 87 19 2
2363 When I suggested we should iron out our differences I didn’t mean it literally” 1.2130 0.04567 108 88 17 3
2364 You still won’t fit into a Priority Mail box, Stanley. 1.2130 0.05104 108 91 11 6
2365 When I asked you to do your own ironing, I should have known you'd be your usual passive-aggressive self. 1.2130 0.04373 108 87 19 2
2366 I've gotta admit those clothes do make you look thinner. 1.2130 0.04567 108 88 17 3
2367 Mom always said you didn't have a backbone 1.2130 0.04753 108 89 15 4
2368 Ironing 101: take the clothes off first. 1.2130 0.04373 108 87 19 2
2369 Oh, no! You don’t press a wool suit, a silk tie, and a permanent press shirt at the same heat setting! 1.2130 0.04753 108 89 15 4
2370 I’m so relieved to finally have you ironed out. 1.2130 0.04171 108 86 21 1
2371 This is what happens when you don't set it to polyester. 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
2372 Dinner’s off, but now they want you to be a Congressman. 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
2373 That's not what the chiropractor meant when she said to pump more iron. 1.2128 0.04505 94 75 18 1
2374 I hope you remembered extra starch on the crotch. 1.2128 0.05427 94 79 10 5
2375 I told you not to use the steam setting. 1.2128 0.04505 94 75 18 1
2376 It's a nice suit, but you're way over-pressed. 1.2128 0.04505 94 75 18 1
2377 I guess you're going as Flat Stanley this Purim. 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
2378 Don't press. 1.2126 0.04276 127 104 19 4
2379 The label says 'wrinkle-free,' not 'self iron!' 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
2380 I think you're taking the 'stuffed shirt' comments too seriously. 1.2125 0.04934 80 64 15 1
2381 You are supposed to take off your suit before you iron it. 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
2382 I guess there won't be a next time. 1.2124 0.04779 113 94 14 5
2383 Well, that irons things out. 1.2124 0.03865 113 89 24 0
2384 What I said was "Just go iron yourself"! 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
2385 Are you going to fix the crease? 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
2386 You forgot the starch. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2387 Is this what you cal ironing out your problems? 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2388 And that’s why you should never iron permanent press. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2389 Don't worry...I'm sure we'll get this all ironed out. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2390 How many times do I have to tell you Gumbo? Easy on the steam! And now you've upset the cat! 1.2121 0.05424 99 84 9 6
2391 . . .and this is why God invented dry cleaners. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2392 Stanley, you have a good job now. I can't keep mailing you everywhere. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
2393 You wouldn’t have had to do this if you’d eaten your polyesters. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
2394 You missed a wrinkle. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2395 Maybe now you can fix the printer. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2396 I always knew housework would flatten him. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2397 When I said I wanted a steamier relationship, this isn't what I meant. 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
2398 Well I couldn’t just leave you hanging. 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
2399 Ironman, the sequel 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2400 Apparently the "laying flat" movement is in trend now. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2401 Think they'll take him back? 1.2119 0.04792 118 99 13 6
2402 Sometimes you shouldn't try to do everything yourself. 1.2119 0.04480 118 97 17 4
2403 Did you forget starch? 1.2119 0.04638 118 98 15 5
2404 Flat out, doing the ironing 1.2119 0.04144 118 95 21 2
2405 Darling,I already told you: that suit does NOT make you look fat! 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2406 Wash and wear? 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2407 Stay there while I get some body stays. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2408 don't worry honey, I think I'm straight now 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2409 No, dear, that's not how people train for The Iron Man ... 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2410 Bob,you sure this is what the psychiatrist meant when he said, 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
2411 ‘Not now honey, I’m feeling a little flat and burnt out’ 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2412 I know you hate your job,but 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2413 I said, your "suit," not your "self." 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2414 Fabric softener isn't a dietary supplement, you know. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2415 Were you trying to iron out all of the details? 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2416 Looks like the cotton setting was too hot. 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2417 Must I do everything? 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2418 Really Greg? Are you *trying* to be ironic? This is the fifth year in a row you’ve dressed up as iron man for your work’s annual costume party! 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
2419 It appears you’ve ironed yourself flat. 1.2111 0.04326 90 71 19 0
2420 I told you to use some starch. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2421 Can't jump, can't iron! 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
2422 Honey, you used my left-handed iron. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2423 Nope. Still not what 'irony' means." 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
2424 I could have done that for you, Honey. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2425 Everything about you leaves me flat. 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
2426 They can't squeeze you in until Monday 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
2427 You guys think you got it rough. I used to have to iron my hair. 1.2110 0.04337 109 88 19 2
2428 OK. I will get a larger ironing board. You don’t have to be so dramatic!! 1.2110 0.05061 109 92 11 6
2429 This isn’t going to make you look any younger. 1.2110 0.04337 109 88 19 2
2430 Dear, you have serious ironing skills 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
2431 Honey, the Pharmacy has supplements. They've had them for years. 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
2432 Way to put the ‘pressed’ in depressed, honey. 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
2433 Now do the wrinkles in your face. 1.2105 0.04221 114 92 20 2
2434 I thought you wanted to make a splash, not a splat. 1.2105 0.04574 114 94 16 4
2435 Yes, I did indeed say that iron is good for you 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2436 Excessive literalism is just one of the wrinkles in our relationship. 1.2105 0.04740 114 95 14 5
2437 For the umpteenth time, NEVER use the 'STEAMROLLER' setting! 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2438 I’m not falling for the “blow on this” trick again! 1.2105 0.05374 95 80 10 5
2439 I can’t help you - I can’t understand those symbols on the fabric care labels either. 1.2105 0.04574 114 94 16 4
2440 Let’s iron things out. When idioms go awry. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2441 Aren't you getting a little old for this Stanley? 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2442 I really don't think that qualifies you for the iron man competition. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2443 No honey, your camel toe looks fine. 1.2101 0.04112 119 96 21 2
2444 The cat went unscathed but curiosity still required that a price be paid. 1.2101 0.04112 119 96 21 2
2445 I don't believe this is the best cure for Peyronies disease. 1.2101 0.04755 119 100 13 6
2446 Uh, Not quite what self-ironing means ... 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
2447 When I said you ought to 'straighten yourself out,' this wasn't what I had in mind. 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
2448 You WERE wearing a press badge. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2449 Didn't your mom teach you how to iron? 1.2100 0.05183 100 84 11 5
2450 Have you thought about an antidepressant? 1.2100 0.04333 100 80 19 1
2451 I said get dressed not pressed. 1.2100 0.04333 100 80 19 1
2452 I think iron supplements would have been fine. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2453 I told you Mel, Try a Chiropractor. But no. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2454 Okay, I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I’m really impressed by what you’ve achieved here 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2455 Win-win or multitasking? 1.2100 0.04094 100 79 21 0
2456 Feeling pressed for time? 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2457 Oh no. I meant Just the suit 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
2458 What did I tell you about trying TikTok trends? 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
2459 You’ve succeeded. That suit is very flattering. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
2460 Honey, I think you're taking efficiency too far 1.2099 0.04553 81 64 17 0
2461 Next time, plug in the damned iron, Bob! 1.2095 0.05008 105 88 12 5
2462 Self ironing suit isn’t meant literally 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2463 I told you to iron out your difficulties not to iron yourself 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2464 Almost ready for congress’s GOP! 1.2095 0.05008 105 88 12 5
2465 You're still going to work, right? 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
2466 You need more starch in your collar! 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2467 Forgot the starch again? 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2468 It's not all about you. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2469 You missed a wrinkle or two, mostly in your face. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2470 Our relationship's gone flat. It's run out of steam. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2471 Too much starch again? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2472 I was just trying to get myself straightened out 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2473 He said,we should iron out our problems, so I did! 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2474 You overdid it. That’s why you always look so rundown. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2475 I said to iron it yourself not to iron yourself 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2476 Before you put them on, before you put them on! 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2477 I....AM...IRONED MAN 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2478 This is NOT what I meant when I told you to iron things out. 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2479 I'm really stretched out! 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2480 Aren’t you a getting little old for a Flat Stanley phase? 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
2481 Gees...you look like you've been through the wringer! 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
2482 That's not what I meant by ironing out our differences. 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
2483 … Ohh, this is what the kids meant when they said you seemed ‘pressed’! 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
2484 when I said "go iron yourself" it was a figure of speech 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2485 Just another opportunity for a biracial couple to make the news .... 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2486 Looks like you're having a flat day. 1.2088 0.04284 91 72 19 0
2487 Wanna hang out? 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
2488 My bad, I thought you said you were DE-pressed. 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2489 What do you call it, 'The Persistence of Stupidity?' 1.2088 0.05745 91 78 7 6
2490 Your OCD therapist just called and canceled. 1.2087 0.04366 115 94 18 3
2491 When I pressed him about it, he folded. 1.2087 0.04537 115 95 16 4
2492 Can't you simply diet like everyone else? 1.2087 0.04188 115 93 20 2
2493 You could’ve tried cutting out bread first. 1.2087 0.04188 115 93 20 2
2494 I did not mean for you to take me literally! 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2495 There! Now you know how to iron. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2496 Ironically, this suits you. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2497 This is no way to iron out your problems. 1.2083 0.04167 96 76 20 0
2498 I’m sorry Stanley, but I just couldn’t find enough stamps! 1.2083 0.05524 96 82 8 6
2499 The irony of it all finally got to him. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2500 I said one little bulge would be tolerated. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2501 I told you permanent press was a gimmick. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2502 And this is how we iron out our differences? 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2503 So this is where the Flat Stanley idea started. 1.2083 0.04167 96 76 20 0
2504 It looks like you have a pressing appointment. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2505 OK, you've made your point. You're flat broke. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2506 Talk about irony. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2507 I get it. We’ 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2508 Should I throw you into the spin cycle and fill you out again? 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2509 It says “Lay flat to dry.” Just do it. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2510 Maybe now you'll listen and buy wrinkle-free next time 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2511 Take the suit off first. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2512 Try the fluff cycle? 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2513 I flat out told you to leave the ironing to me! 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2514 It works out better if you take the suit off first... 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2515 Okay, Salvador, DALL-E can't do everything. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2516 Honey, it's Black Lives Matter, not Flat Lives Matter 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2517 -Hope I get flat tax rate 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2518 I told you so: there’s saving time, and there’s wearing yourself out. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2519 I don't think that is the iron deficiency your doctor meant. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2520 The Persistence of Laundry 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
2521 That's a Wash and Wear, not a Wear and Iron suit! 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2522 I don't see how being flat means you'll get to travel the world for free, Stanley. 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
2523 I think there are better ways to relieve stress 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2524 That's nothing...I used to iron my hair. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2525 What are you gonna do about the other side Steve? 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
2526 You're needed for another pressing situation, your brother just slipped in through the mail slot." 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
2527 I'd be more impressed if you had gotten your priorities straight. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
2528 I only meant your top half. 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2529 Stanley! What ever happened to the bulletin board? 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2530 Honey, you may be taking this iron salesman gig too seriously. 1.2075 0.04589 106 87 16 3
2531 this is going to take more than starch... 1.2075 0.04589 106 87 16 3
2532 Oh, Stanley, how ironic! 1.2075 0.04179 106 85 20 1
2533 You set it too hot. 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2534 I told you not to give up starch. 1.2075 0.04179 106 85 20 1
2535 It’s called “flat tire syndrome”. 1.2075 0.03958 106 84 22 0
2536 Why didn't we think of this years ago? 1.2075 0.04179 106 85 20 1
2537 That's incredible! You did it without even plugging it in! 1.2075 0.04780 106 88 14 4
2538 Oh, Dad, poor Dad, now Mama can hang you in the closet...! 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2539 I know I said we have some things to iron out… 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2540 You wouldn't have had to iron if you used the "dryer's wrinkle control" setting. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
2541 I thought I had tried all the anti-wrinkle remedies! 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
2542 It may save some time, Harry, but you're still not going to fit through the mail slot next time you lose your keys. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
2543 I get it Bob, you’re bored 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
2544 A little more starch. 1.2072 0.04455 111 91 17 3
2545 Stanley, wrong order! Iron first, dress second! 1.2072 0.04455 111 91 17 3
2546 I appreciate you are willing to try and iron this out 1.2072 0.04635 111 92 15 4
2547 You never listen! I told you this suit was wash and wear. 1.2072 0.04455 111 91 17 3
2548 Generally speaking, Mr. Ogtot, the laundry facilities are not for physical self-improvement. Still though, if you try this again, don't linger on the tie. 1.2072 0.04267 111 90 19 2
2549 That's not what "self-iron" means. 1.2072 0.04455 111 91 17 3
2550 I told him that wasn't how you get rid of wrinkles. 1.2072 0.04455 111 91 17 3
2551 I don't think that's what the saying "iron things out" means hun 1.2072 0.04267 111 90 19 2
2552 ChatGPT wrote this one. 1.2072 0.04635 111 92 15 4
2553 This kind of horseshit is why I’m divorcing you. 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
2554 That wasn't the iron man that I had in mind. 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
2555 I told you, you're gonna need more starch. 1.2069 0.04502 116 96 16 4
2556 This isn't what I meant when I said "straighten up." 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
2557 This is not what I meant when I said straighten yourself out. 1.2069 0.04368 87 69 18 0
2558 That's not how we do it on Earth, dear ! 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
2559 Hmm ...'Flat Stanley' and 'Stanley Steamer' are taken. How 'bout 'Stancake?' 1.2066 0.04533 121 101 15 5
2560 Bob, I said Irony, not Ironing! 1.2066 0.04378 121 100 17 4
2561 I think he flipped; too much pressing business. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2562 I knew it wasn't just your "high metabolism". 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2563 THIS is what you did all day? 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2564 I thought it was time to iron out our problems. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2565 I've told you a thousand times; you need to press the "Steam" button ! 1.2065 0.04244 92 73 19 0
2566 You can't be that board 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2567 maybe there was a less drastic demonstration 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2568 Your creases are uneven. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2569 Carl, when I said you had an inflated opinion of yourself... 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2570 You’ll do anything to get out of walking the dog. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2571 Sweetie, are you sure you didn't misinterpret the care instructions tag on your new suit? 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2572 How’s that hot stone massage hack working for you now? 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2573 Now do my hair. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2574 Well, no wonder, you forgot the spray starch. 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
2575 Mom says it's my turn next. Then the cat. Then you again if you want. 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
2576 Running late again? 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
2577 Well I sure hope you cleaned the lint trap after you finished in the dryer. 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
2578 That's not what I meant when I said you should "Let off a little steam!" 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
2579 Looks good, except that you forgot to do your head. 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
2580 The label said “dry clean only” ! 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
2581 Oh, I thought you said you were 'depressed.' 1.2062 0.05271 97 82 10 5
2582 When I told you that you were getting wrinkles, his is not what I was thinking. 1.2062 0.04381 97 78 18 1
2583 Some people will try anything to get rid of wrinkles! 1.2062 0.04381 97 78 18 1
2584 You're flat-out drunk again, Henry. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2585 Take off your glasses. They’re not perma-press. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2586 So, George, other than that, what do you think of my self driving iron? 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2587 I don’t think you understood the Doc when he said depressed. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2588 I'm upset...but also amazed that you got all of the creases out. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
2589 This is what we call “man.” It always thinks it knows how to do it better. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2590 Did it hurt? 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2591 You’re taking this self-care thing way too far. 1.2059 0.04023 102 81 21 0
2592 Press me like one of your french shirts 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
2593 I really think you're carrying this "wash and wear" thing too far. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
2594 I told him,”Either you straighten yourself out or I’ll do it for you.” 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2595 I realize that I probably seem cool, but I’m legit freaking out on the inside. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
2596 Or, you could just moisturize. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2597 I get it, you’re a busy man.” Farzeen Firoozi, New York, New Yor 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
2598 Maybe go with light starch next time 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
2599 s “when you said you had some things to iron out I never would have figured…” 1.2059 0.05276 102 87 9 6
2600 I’m just noticing now, but you’ve really been wearing yourself thin lately. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2601 I'm sorry dear, but you're still using irony wrong. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2602 Thanks for straightening me out! 1.2056 0.04351 107 87 18 2
2603 You telling me this is a pressing matter is just silly. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2604 Yeah, the label should say “wash OR wear.” 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2605 That's a rather passive-aggressive approach to "iron it yourself." 1.2056 0.04351 107 87 18 2
2606 More pain, no gain, no crease. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2607 When I told you to straighten yourself out, this is not what I had in mind. 1.2056 0.04351 107 87 18 2
2608 There has got to be a better way to fit on those new airplane seats. 1.2054 0.04233 112 91 19 2
2609 Honey, if you think this is what your nutritionist meant when she said you have a pressing need to add a daily iron supplement, you are flat wrong." 1.2054 0.04769 112 94 13 5
2610 I'm still not sure you'll fold well into my carry on bag. 1.2054 0.04419 112 92 17 3
2611 I still don't think it's going to save you that much time... 1.2054 0.04597 112 93 15 4
2612 I know I said we have some kinks to iron out, but... 1.2054 0.04039 112 90 21 1
2613 Does this mean you are prepairing your backbone to ask for a raise today? 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
2614 You wouldn't need to be ironed if you would just stay out of the dryer. 1.2051 0.04467 117 97 16 4
2615 I know you're still upset about getting 2nd place in the limbo contest but you need to let it go 1.2051 0.05873 78 66 8 4
2616 At least you could have taken those expensive shoes off, before ironing! 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2617 Bob has unwavering faith in an independent press. 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
2618 May I presume you got ironing bored? 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2619 I hope your suit isn't permanent press. 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
2620 you give new meaning to board meeting 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
2621 Sometimes it feels like we’re living in different dimensions. 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
2622 This is what happens when you nap through the training video. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
2623 You’re ass. is so flat i am leaving you abd taking the cat with me LOL 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
2624 Now that’s lazy. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2625 You may have taken your new job in the Flat Iron District at bit too literally 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
2626 You finally ironed out your issues! 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
2627 You need more iron 1.2045 0.04325 88 70 18 0
2628 My Mother was right,you are an idiot 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
2629 And now comes when you say you are flattered, right? 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
2630 Don't worry. We'll get this ironed out. 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
2631 If Flat Stanley can settle for permapress, why can’t you? 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2632 Believe me,though you are very smart...it works better when it's empty 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2633 Did the cat do this? 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2634 The mayor said it's urgent, there's a new wrinkle. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2635 Pass me the starch honey? 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2636 I love that this skinsuit comes with a handy iron holder. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2637 Well, we’ve finally ironed out our biggest issue. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2638 Is this what you meant when you said you were implementing a new “onboarding” program? 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2639 I am having a midlife crease. 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2640 I thought you were cutting down on starches. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2641 That is not how you touch up a suit. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2642 You've got some issues. Some of them are pressing. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2643 Stop eyeing Whiskers dear! and leave the curtains alone - we are on the 19th floor - remember! 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2644 Did you consider simply using the Perma-Press cycle? 1.2041 0.04342 98 79 18 1
2645 We will never iron this out. 1.2041 0.04342 98 79 18 1
2646 Flat Stlaney, the domestic years. 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2647 He's entering Ironman this year. 1.2041 0.05222 98 83 10 5
2648 For Iron Man you shouldn't use the steam setting. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2649 Don’t think you can just escape into 2-D! 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2650 I told you it was dry clean only. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2651 Yes, you did have to take the clothes off first. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2652 Wow Dave, way to iron out your issues with me 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2653 To be honest, I thought you’d be over Flat Stanley by now. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2654 I called your guy at fluff & fold. They’re on their way. 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2655 Ever consider Botox over this? 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2656 I told you to always point it away from you! 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2657 You know Botox gets the wrinkles out. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2658 When I said you better straighten yourself out, I didn't mean literally. 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2659 Was that salesman for the pants pressing machine here? 1.2039 0.03989 103 82 21 0
2660 You might have gone just a little heavy on the starch. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2661 I knew that new iron was more than he could manage. 1.2039 0.03989 103 82 21 0
2662 That's the wrong way to iron out our marriage problems. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2663 As clever as it seems, this is not going to solve your iron deficiency 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2664 Stanley, you’re flat! 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2665 Ferris, I wasn't serious about those flattering remarks. How many times do we need to have the situational irony vs. literal irony talk? 1.2037 0.04511 108 89 16 3
2666 The therapist said that if we're going to iron out our differences, we have to work as a team. 1.2037 0.04511 108 89 16 3
2667 No! No! I said you needed to get the wrinkles out of your Birthday Suit!!! 1.2037 0.04315 108 88 18 2
2668 This is not what I meant by "do your own ironing." 1.2037 0.04699 108 90 14 4
2669 Yeah, Tucker Carlson's confession hit me pretty hard too. 1.2035 0.04560 113 94 15 4
2670 My mom warned me about men that think they know everything. 1.2035 0.04383 113 93 17 3
2671 There’s *still* no room for you on the girls’ trip. 1.2035 0.04730 113 95 13 5
2672 This isn’t how you treat anemia babe. 1.2034 0.04432 118 98 16 4
2673 Maybe Botox would have been the better choice 1.2034 0.04265 118 97 18 3
2674 I know we should iron things out, but you're going overboard. 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
2675 Admittedly, I said that you needed to learn to iron yourself. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
2676 I told you the excuse had to be iron clad. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2677 The suit looks fine Gerald 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
2678 You told me you were wash and wear. 1.2024 0.04410 84 67 17 0
2679 Did you not read the instructions? They hang to dry. 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
2680 This is not what the doctor meant when she said you need to 'iron out the kinks in your back.' 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2681 Honey you need to stop seeing that chiropractor. 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
2682 Okay, enough of that flat Stanley stuff 1.2024 0.05813 84 72 7 5
2683 A few more problems to iron out and you 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
2684 I was drunk when I told you I like tall men. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2685 No worries. Our over-sized dryer can fluff you back up. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2686 OK, fine, I'll admit I'm better than you at this one chore. 1.2024 0.04410 84 67 17 0
2687 I think you’re overusing the ‘Irony’ setting. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
2688 Looks like you're suffering from an iron deficiency. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2689 Wow, it has been quite a while since you went in to the office. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2690 That’s true: everything DOES iron itself out, eventually. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2691 'Maybe you should try Botox next time' 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
2692 Should I pick you up from the dry cleaners? 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2693 That was bound to happen---he's normally left-handed. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
2694 Show me your other side 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
2695 Sorry but the position is for a laundry manager, not a press agent. 1.2022 0.05577 89 76 8 5
2696 Does this really save time? 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
2697 At least now your looks match your character 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
2698 Sweetheart, Don Johnson never pressed his suit, why should you? 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
2699 This iron man has a stark difference to the one I had in mind. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
2700 Any other chores you'd like to try, Arthur? 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
2701 No. You shrunk it, you iron it. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2702 just tell them you had a pressing engagement. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2703 You're not even a stuffed shirt. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2704 ‘When you said you were going for a steam, I didn’t picture this.’ 1.2021 0.04164 94 75 19 0
2705 This is what you meant about having pressing needs?! 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2706 When I suggested that you iron out the wrinkles, I meant psychologically. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2707 Maybe take off the suit next time 1.2021 0.04430 94 76 17 1
2708 This is not what I meant when I said we had to iron out our relationship. 1.2021 0.04164 94 75 19 0
2709 Phyllis says you flatter yourself a bit much. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2710 We're gonna need a bigger ironing board. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
2711 You said we needed to iron out all of our issues 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2712 Read the label – – no ironing needed. 1.2021 0.04430 94 76 17 1
2713 Not what I thought when you said you'd be home in no time flat. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
2714 Are you looking for a flattening comment? 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
2715 There was a safety warning right on it! 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
2716 I warned you about eating too much starch Frank Buckley Andover MA 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2717 Do you need help? 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2718 I guess I will walk you today 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2719 Are you sure this is how you mother taught you to do the ironing? 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2720 No worry lines, no kinks, you look totally at ease. See? Ironing is relaxing. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
2721 Time saving? Mother was right. You are clueless, Henry. 1.2020 0.04056 99 79 20 0
2722 he told me to get the wrinkles out..... 1.2020 0.04056 99 79 20 0
2723 OCD looks good on you! 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
2724 No… I don’t think the wrinkles are going to make you stand out… 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2725 It's gonna take more than irioning out a few creases. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2726 I feel like our marriage has gone a little flat. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2727 I think we both need to iron some things out. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
2728 Look dear, better than Botox at a fraction of the cost. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2729 You’re right, being on top WILL be easier now! 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2730 Is this just another one of your crazy shortcuts gone awry? 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2731 There's irony in your self-flattery. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2732 Sorry, Kevin McCarthy, ironing won't help. You just have no spine. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2733 Darling, did you get all your problems ironed out? 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
2734 Once again you forgot to iron the back. 1.2019 0.05182 104 89 9 6
2735 Stanley, we’ve gone through this already. You’re not required to make yourself flat to travel! 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2736 This obsession with “The Thin Man” has gone too far. 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
2737 no, just the suit 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
2738 I told you to eat a little starch. 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
2739 It's about time we ironed out our differences. 1.2018 0.05011 109 93 10 6
2740 Honey, Botox might look more natural. 1.2018 0.04280 109 89 18 2
2741 Oh, the irony of self-inflicted harm. 1.2018 0.03976 114 92 21 1
2742 Let's just say, as a possession, this does not bring me joy. 1.2018 0.04166 114 93 19 2
2743 You said you wanted to iron things out between us, but this is ridiculous! 1.2017 0.04061 119 97 20 2
2744 When I said you needed to iron out the kinks in our relationship this is NOT what I had in mind! 1.2017 0.03694 119 95 24 0
2745 Did you use too much starch again? 1.2016 0.04126 124 102 19 3
2746 I don't think you understand self-care. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2747 I think you used a tad too much steam there, Jeff. Oh, and another thing... 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
2748 Oh, you're not that Iron Man. 1.2000 0.04766 105 88 13 4
2749 Next time iron the suit without you in it. 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
2750 Now I think you'll fit in a carry-on. 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
2751 "This isn't irony, either. 1.2000 0.04264 100 81 18 1
2752 Hold on, I'll get the starch. 1.2000 0.05312 95 81 9 5
2753 I think your massage gun is broken 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2754 Yet another reason to stick with permanent press. 1.2000 0.04264 100 81 18 1
2755 I thought you said no starch. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
2756 This is why I suggested you let me do the ironing. 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
2757 Let's just say that's not what most people think is ironic. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2758 How much will It cost to Flatter You ? 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2759 You might have used a little too much starch. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2760 I knew it was a mistake to move your office to the Flatiron Building. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2761 You're still not iron man. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2762 See kitty? You can now both use the cat trap. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2763 I know the name was your idea but your brother Tony IS the better Iron Man. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2764 I think you used a little too much starch, 1.2000 0.04364 85 68 17 0
2765 I've heard of being "Pressed for time,"but this is ridiculous. 1.2000 0.04364 85 68 17 0
2766 Maybe you should Let me do the ironing from now on. 1.2000 0.04766 105 88 13 4
2767 Flat out with nowhere to go 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2768 When I said we need to iron out our problems, I did not mean that literally. 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2769 Nice try. I feel no shame by not conforming to gender stereotypes and doing your laundry. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2770 Please don't tell me you used up all the starch, Murray. 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2771 Grownup Flat Stanley gets ready for work. 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2772 I thought you meant you were going to start running, swimming and biking. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2773 What you really need is a facelift. 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
2774 Now that’s what you’d call permanent-press! 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
2775 We should have waited to iron out the details. 1.2000 0.04500 80 64 16 0
2776 Don’t do anything until I find the starch. 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2777 I didn’t notice “DRY CLEAN ONLY” label…, 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2778 Oh, George. Our therapist just recommended that you take more iron, 1.2000 0.04264 100 81 18 1
2779 You’re upside down?! 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
2780 After you hopped out of the dryer I figured it would be smooth sailing. 1.2000 0.04244 110 90 18 2
2781 Yep. I think you’ve earned an invite to the flat-earther convention. 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
2782 Too bad you didn't vacuum. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2783 If you used starch, I can't help you. 1.2000 0.04766 105 88 13 4
2784 Or,you could use my wrinkle cream! 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2785 Too much starch, dear. Too much starch! 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
2786 Gotta say, babe. You're leaving me flat. 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
2787 I was thinking more of Robert Downey Jr. 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2788 I suspect you are feeling flat by choice. 1.2000 0.04244 110 90 18 2
2789 Should I be worried about you? 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2790 Dan, you forgot the starch and to put a pillowcase over it. 1.2000 0.04621 110 92 14 4
2791 I asked you to experiment on your lil’ yappy dog first. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2792 What in the actual fuck are you doing? 1.2000 0.05125 100 85 10 5
2793 I think this is what HR meant by ‘business professional’. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2794 Why would you take another TikTok challenge? 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2795 You still have a few kinks to iron out in this system. 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
2796 Well, you'll certainly make an impression at work now. 1.2000 0.04364 105 86 17 2
2797 E(steam)ed roll-up. Just for you, honey. 1.2000 0.04264 100 81 18 1
2798 IRONY, Frank. Not IRON KNEE. I can’t do this anymore. 1.2000 0.04364 105 86 17 2
2799 I'm not sure this is a process you needed to "innovate." 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2800 Stanley, I know you miss your glory days but your flat years are over. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2801 'Dry clean only' is not a suggestion, Stan 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2802 It’s ironic that we talked about household work being real work yesterday darling 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
2803 You almost ready? We're pressed for time 1.2000 0.04924 100 84 12 4
2804 I don’t care what TicTok says, you need starch in your diet 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
2805 Honey, the doctor told you already. Your wrinkles can’t be cured like this. 1.2000 0.05505 100 87 6 7
2806 I thought you were a wash-and wear kind of guy! What’s with the irony? 1.1983 0.04452 116 97 15 4
2807 IKEA goofed again. They sent us the shorter table 1.1982 0.04582 111 93 14 4
2808 That's not how to iron out our relationship issues. 1.1982 0.04011 111 90 20 1
2809 I always said you've leave me flat! 1.1982 0.04582 111 93 14 4
2810 We’ll, I guess I did tell you to iron your own damn shirt. 1.1982 0.04582 111 93 14 4
2811 I get it Henry. You said you had a pressing engagement 1.1981 0.04530 106 88 15 3
2812 Where's the tire inflator? 1.1981 0.04724 106 89 13 4
2813 Maybe, we should get another key for the front door. 1.1981 0.04724 106 89 13 4
2814 OMG George, you could have just told me you were feeling a little flat. 1.1981 0.04114 106 86 19 1
2815 I really don’t think this is how you train for the Iron Man event. 1.1981 0.04114 106 86 19 1
2816 Try standing further back next time. 1.1981 0.04724 106 89 13 4
2817 I think I did it wrong. I told you I've never ironed before. 1.1981 0.04327 106 87 17 2
2818 You said last night, let’s straighten it out. 1.1981 0.04114 106 86 19 1
2819 You look 'board' 1.1980 0.04879 101 85 12 4
2820 When you told me you were going flat out, this wasn't what I envisioned. 1.1980 0.04879 101 85 12 4
2821 You may call yourself Iron Man, but you're no Robert Downey Jr. 1.1980 0.04879 101 85 12 4
2822 Why don't we just go to marriage counseling? 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
2823 You specified no starch. 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
2824 Alright already, I get it -- you're flat broke... 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
2825 Look, you're a great guy, but I don't do laundry. 1.1980 0.04226 101 82 18 1
2826 For the last time, we are not moving to Flatiron! 1.1980 0.04879 101 85 12 4
2827 They should have never made Home Ec optional. 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
2828 You missed the creases in your brow. 1.1980 0.04879 101 85 12 4
2829 But you weren't that dimensional in the first place... 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
2830 A.I. irons. Iron or be ironed! 1.1980 0.04226 101 82 18 1
2831 What did I say about doing your own laundry? 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
2832 I hope You have not burned the bills in the pocket! 1.1979 0.04348 96 78 17 1
2833 Have you lost weight? 1.1979 0.05048 96 81 11 4
2834 Flattened. 1.1979 0.04088 96 77 19 0
2835 Now that your back in the office, do you really need to maintain your screen physique? 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
2836 I told you. You need to take the suit off first. 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
2837 Did you forgot the starch? 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
2838 It may save time but we'll see how you come across on your zoom call. 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
2839 Ok ok you made your point, we’ll send yours out for dry cleaning 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
2840 How's the 'wrinkle free in 2023' regimen working out for you? 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
2841 Seeing you like this is so depressing. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
2842 Yes dear, that will save you time in the morning, now let’s see you walk the dog! 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
2843 Wow! You really went all flat out with the ironing. 1.1978 0.04199 91 73 18 0
2844 I told you to use the steam setting. 1.1978 0.04199 91 73 18 0
2845 I said that "WE should iron this out," not just you. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
2846 When I told you to iron it yourself, I assumed you knew enough to take it off first!!! 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
2847 First time, eh? 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
2848 Smooth move hot stuff. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
2849 Just admit you forgot the alarm code. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
2850 You could have just knocked. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
2851 Stanley, don't flatter yourself! 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
2852 I know you're a reporter, but this is taking the 'free press' crusade a little too far. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
2853 There's gotta be a better way.... 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
2854 I don't know. I don't think that this is what the therapist meant when she said we could likely iron things out with a little flattery. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
2855 Flat Stanley, stop primping! 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
2856 Didn’t I tell you to take off the suit first. 1.1977 0.04320 86 69 17 0
2857 this is not what flattening out your wrinkles meant 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
2858 Those weren’t the kinks I was talking about 1.1977 0.04320 86 69 17 0
2859 My husband, ladies and gentlemen, the iron man. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
2860 Honey, it's a wash and wear suit. You don't need to iron it. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
2861 You shouldn't iron when you're hungover. 1.1975 0.05671 81 69 8 4
2862 That’s it. We’re getting a steamer. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
2863 Honey! You are my iron husband. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
2864 Get up. It’s time to vacuum. 1.1975 0.04451 81 65 16 0
2865 Next time, plug it in. 1.1974 0.06218 76 66 5 5
2866 Yes: wash, rinse, repeat. But next time, step out of the clothes. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
2867 When I said we needed to iron out our differences, I didn't mean it that literally!" 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
2868 Wow honey, you look younger. You really got all those wrinkles out." said the woman 1.1966 0.04070 117 96 19 2
2869 Yes I do see the irony, Chad. 1.1966 0.04070 117 96 19 2
2870 I told you to be careful with the fabric softer. 1.1964 0.04545 112 94 14 4
2871 Easy as 1 2 3” you said. And then you started with 3 1.1964 0.04176 112 92 18 2
2872 I said steam not iron 1.1964 0.04364 112 93 16 3
2873 Flat out ! 1.1963 0.04491 107 89 15 3
2874 Really smooth. 1.1963 0.03858 107 86 21 0
2875 I told him I was leaving him for you, Fluffy, and he didn't take it well. Funny thing is, I lied. No offense, but I left him because he was strange. 1.1963 0.04683 107 90 13 4
2876 The best laid pants of mice and men... 1.1963 0.04290 107 88 17 2
2877 No, I don’t think it’s safer than Ozempic. 1.1963 0.04683 107 90 13 4
2878 Yes, I know the label said "self-ironing". 1.1963 0.04080 107 87 19 1
2879 I don't know Honey -- this job seems to leave you a little 2-dimensional. 1.1963 0.04080 107 87 19 1
2880 Darling, you can try to be funny, but don’t worry, the guy from the New Yorker’s Instagram-account will come up with a much 'smarter' line when he posts this Cartoon 1.1963 0.05218 107 93 7 7
2881 So which member of the dynamic duo are you this time? Flatman or Ribbon? 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2882 Dressed and pressed! 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2883 I know you said you had a pressing engagement today.... 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2884 I KNEW I should have explained it to him. We’ll just have to press on. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2885 You really expect me to let you groom the dog after seeing this? 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2886 Don’t you think you’re taking this Self-flagellation thing a bit too far? 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2887 Better hurry, honey. As a newly elected congressman you don't want to be late. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2888 I hope you didn't set it to 'permanent press.' 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2889 This is what I wear when I have an interview or need to walk alone at night. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
2890 You have pressed yourself to the limit but it's still not enough. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
2891 Frankly, this new look of yours is a bit flat 1.1957 0.04159 92 74 18 0
2892 I said to use the "Steam" setting, not the "Steamroller" setting... 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
2893 Ready to go to the burn unit fundraiser? 1.1957 0.04437 92 75 16 1
2894 I told you not to use starch! 1.1957 0.04437 92 75 16 1
2895 My therapist said I should focus on ironing our my problems. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
2896 It's not enough to be gluten free, you also had to be starch free, huh? 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
2897 That's not what I meant about ironing out our differences. 1.1957 0.04437 92 75 16 1
2898 You dummy! The Iron Man is a triathlon! 1.1957 0.04437 92 75 16 1
2899 Ok, you make your argument plain! 1.1957 0.05182 92 78 10 4
2900 Flat Stanley for world book day again?? 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
2901 So you are telling me now that you’ve got it all ironed out, it’s just upside down???? 1.1957 0.04159 92 74 18 0
2902 Just working out the kinks 1.1957 0.04437 92 75 16 1
2903 My virtual guru mentioned this was great for relieving back pain. 1.1954 0.04276 87 70 17 0
2904 Who even bothers with a suit and tie anymore? 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2905 Next time you might want to try the steamer. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2906 This is not what I meant when I said you have to iron out your issues. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
2907 I think you need more starch. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
2908 You have iron poor blood 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2909 I've told you that your permanent press doesn't need ironing. 1.1954 0.04276 87 70 17 0
2910 You might try a little more starch and using a cool iron. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
2911 You must have a pressing appointment! 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2912 You're pressing your luck. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2913 As the day goes on, he gets more de-pressed. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2914 Ok James,if you feel this strongly,maybe Botox is an option worth exploring. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
2915 Honey, I don’t think you understand. AI and ChatGPT are the future. I simply asked it for an ironing tutorial and bam! 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
2916 Sweetheart, I think it's time to cut back on the intermittent fasting 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
2917 You think this is what it means to iron out our differences? 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2918 It helps me loosen up before my meeting. 1.1954 0.04276 87 70 17 0
2919 When you said you were pressed for time... 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
2920 So, I thought he was going to be permanent press. He’s too high maintenance! 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
2921 See? I told you to start ironing the back first. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
2922 How about a stiff pick-me-up? 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
2923 You're always taking shortcuts. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2924 Really ?! That suit is dry clean only ! 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
2925 Well, you pressed your luck. 1.1947 0.03947 113 92 20 1
2926 Your wrinkles reflect poorly on me. 1.1944 0.04826 108 92 11 5
2927 Nice Job, but you forgot to do something first. 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
2928 You won't fit in the carry-on! We'll just have to purchase another ticket. 1.1944 0.04643 108 91 13 4
2929 Now he’s really 6 ft tall. 1.1944 0.04254 108 89 17 2
2930 Just a little more work on your eyebrow and you’re finished 1.1944 0.04453 108 90 15 3
2931 Can I give you a light spritz? 1.1944 0.04254 108 89 17 2
2932 He must have remembered when he embarrassed himself that one time in 1959 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
2933 I’m glad we finally ironed things out. 1.1944 0.03826 108 87 21 0
2934 There's still a few bumps in our relationship. 1.1942 0.03917 103 83 20 0
2935 I told you it was self-ironing! 1.1942 0.04588 103 86 14 3
2936 Aw, c'mon Stanley. Not this again!! 1.1942 0.04376 103 85 16 2
2937 Did you use the generic starch again? 1.1942 0.04376 103 85 16 2
2938 Not what I meant when I suggested you should 'blow off some steam" 1.1942 0.03917 103 83 20 0
2939 Flatiron District meets the Garment District 1.1942 0.04588 103 86 14 3
2940 Another Kama sutra casualty 1.1942 0.04588 103 86 14 3
2941 Let me guess, they're flattening your management structure. 1.1939 0.04268 98 80 17 1
2942 And that's why you should take your clothes off before ironing them 1.1939 0.04014 98 79 19 0
2943 Honey, the limbo contest is tomorrow night. 1.1939 0.05161 98 84 9 5
2944 And you wonder why our relationship is starting to fall flat… 1.1939 0.04508 98 81 15 2
2945 Not one wrinkle! 1.1939 0.04508 98 81 15 2
2946 You call this training for an iron man? 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
2947 This must be ironi. 1.1939 0.04508 98 81 15 2
2948 Sorry Sidney, the cat hid the starch. 1.1939 0.04014 98 79 19 0
2949 Just when I thought you couldn't possibly become more one-dimensional. 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
2950 Sorry honey, I don’t think we can iron this out. 1.1939 0.04014 98 79 19 0
2951 Now as long as you don't breathe and you don't take a carry-on, you should fit in a standard seat on Frontier. 1.1939 0.05161 98 84 9 5
2952 Slight wrinkle in our plans… 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
2953 I warned him ... "DIY has its risks." 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
2954 You want me to put some starch in your spine? 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
2955 Your doctor said you had a vitamin deficiency, you need more iron not more ironing. 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
2956 I know you said you were working flat out,but 1.1939 0.04268 98 80 17 1
2957 I’m so sorry honey. All this time I thought I was giving you stool softener. 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
2958 There are still a few kinks to iron out…. 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
2959 I appreciate you showing your talent around an iron... but I like a more full-bodied husband! 1.1939 0.04268 98 80 17 1
2960 Honey! I am flattered to see you 1.1939 0.04268 98 80 17 1
2961 'It looks like you've been 'permanently pressed!' 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2962 You need more starch, honey. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
2963 At least he holds the iron while I turn him over and iron his other side. 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
2964 I’m glad to see you have been ironing out your problems. But now why? 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2965 So, you saved a few bucks not getting laser liposuction? 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
2966 Well, at least travelling to work now will be a breeze. 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
2967 This is what happens when you go paleo. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2968 The school just called. Apparently you left your spine in the break room. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
2969 That's impressive but I'm still not doing your ironing. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
2970 Looks like you can use a little fluff and fold 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
2971 And did you not hear me tell him three times, the fluff cycle? 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
2972 Not what i meant when I said , you could iron yourself. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
2973 This is not what I meant when I said that you have to do your own ironing! 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
2974 This is gonna be depressing. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2975 Lay flat! 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
2976 Did you get everything ironed out? 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2977 Your sense of fashion has finally gone too far. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
2978 I’ll call the dry cleaner. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
2979 No, you're not quite ready for Iron Man. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
2980 Great, so you cleaned up your act but you're still not hung. 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
2981 Nice job! 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
2982 That's not how you iron out things in your life. 1.1933 0.04008 119 98 19 2
2983 I guess I need more starch in my diet. 1.1933 0.04509 119 101 13 5
2984 Your dad just needs a little straightening up! 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
2985 You said to iron all my Wrinkles Out! 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
2986 Would you mind finishing the cuffs? 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
2987 Could you hurry? That's Cleo's favorite spot. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
2988 Oh dear, I'm sure he said he was just going to iron his suit. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
2989 This is 2023. Straighten yourself out! 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
2990 Okay,Stanley. Enough with the ironing. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
2991 I said Ironman not Ironed Man. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
2992 This is concerning. 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
2993 Oh, no. The dryer's on the fritz again? 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
2994 More starch. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2995 Niles has nothing on you! 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2996 you have to take the clothes off to iron sweetie 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
2997 And the award for Feigned Ignorance goes to… 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
2998 I must remember not to speak metaphorically. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2999 You probably need more starch. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3000 I was skeptical, but that self-ironing suit really fits your frame 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3001 You forgot to use the steam setting. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3002 You know we don’t iron during the pandemic 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3003 I told you b-flat, not be flat! 1.1927 0.04219 109 90 17 2
3004 Okay I lied. My secret is actually botox. 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
3005 I just assumed you KNOW to take the suit off before steaming! 1.1923 0.04338 104 86 16 2
3006 Honey, I think what guys try to achieve is WASHboard abs. 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
3007 What’s got you so pressed out? 1.1923 0.04117 104 85 18 1
3008 I guess he was flat out sick of all that’s going on these days!! 1.1923 0.04749 104 88 12 4
3009 I know you’re flat out, but the kitty litter box needs cleaning. 1.1923 0.04338 104 86 16 2
3010 I think you misunderstood this whole ‘Iron Man’ competition thing. 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
3011 I’m not steaming you this time, you wooly brained mammoth 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3012 . “This is the best and only iron you’ll ever need!” - “Wow, I’ll take it!” 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3013 I had no idea you were that dumb. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
3014 As usual, you don't even know what you don't know. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
3015 That's not what I mean by iron man! 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
3016 I could have ironed your suit, you know, if you had just asked me! 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
3017 No, when I said you needed more iron in your diet ... 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
3018 Did you remember to use starch, cut it will help keep those creases crisp. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
3019 You're impressed! 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
3020 You seem pressed for time. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
3021 This is how you "iron out our differences? 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
3022 Your ironing is a little flat. 1.1919 0.03978 99 80 19 0
3023 You're so one-dimensional. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
3024 Figuratively! I meant figuratively we have issues to iron out. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
3025 I told you. I am just flat out this week. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
3026 I think you are taking this self care thing a little too far Doug 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
3027 Is this what you meant when you said you were tired and felt like flattening out ? 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
3028 Again, you used too much starch with an overheated iron 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
3029 Couples counseling is really paying off! 1.1915 0.04080 94 76 18 0
3030 Why can't you remember you"re permanent press? 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
3031 You need to be flatter, Stanley. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
3032 I'm still not ironing your shirts. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
3033 Well, you don't have to turn yourself inside out. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
3034 When I said we should try to iron out the wrinkles in our marriage I meant that we should see a counselor... 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
3035 I’ll just work from home today, you won’t be able to tell on Zoom. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
3036 OK. OK. You’re depressed. What do you want me to do about it. 1.1913 0.04435 115 97 14 4
3037 I told you not to use the permanent press. 1.1913 0.04260 115 96 16 3
3038 This isn't what I meant when I said you needed more iron in your diet. 1.1913 0.03885 115 94 20 1
3039 For the last time - I don’t care if this is how your mother used to do it! 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3040 I guess you’ve found the trick to how to look like a cartoon. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
3041 I know parking spaces are getting tighter but there must be a better way to squeeze into your car? 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
3042 Do you prefer extra starch or Viagra? 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3043 You have to take the suit OFF first dear... 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
3044 Viagra didn’t work. “Try starch!” he said… 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
3045 It’s usually customary to take the clothes off before you iron them. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3046 Yikes, I think we may have given too much muscle relaxant. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
3047 "I thought I told you to just upgrade to business class." 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
3048 Your editor-in-chief called ordering you to stop the press. 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
3049 I believed you when you told me you were a straight guy. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3050 Who do you think you are,Ironman? 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
3051 Okay, I guess you got this ironed out. 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
3052 But honey, I told you to use starch. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3053 Well, they did tell me to iron out all of my issues. 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
3054 Flat Stanley’s home life left a lot to be desired. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
3055 He must have put it in reverse. 1.1909 0.03980 110 90 19 1
3056 And you'll stay there until we iron things out. 1.1909 0.04379 110 92 15 3
3057 Honey, go easy on the starch today. My boss said that I was too stiff last week. 1.1909 0.04184 110 91 17 2
3058 Don't worry, honey! I'm sure you'll be the best-pressed man at work. 1.1905 0.04300 105 87 16 2
3059 How many times have I told you that wrinkles are a sign of maturity, you flat leaver you! 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3060 Very funny, Stanley. 1.1905 0.05738 84 73 6 5
3061 You insisted on pressing it yourself...I told you.... 1.1905 0.04300 105 87 16 2
3062 But I can do a full-body press in the gym! 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3063 I am still mad! You can't iron your way out this time. 1.1905 0.04081 105 86 18 1
3064 I think you missed a spot. 1.1905 0.04897 105 90 10 5
3065 This housework has completely deleted me 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
3066 Yes, you are im-press-ive, Peter. I just think you went a little too far with the pun. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3067 And you didn't think to take it off before you started? 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
3068 Mr. Dali, the “self-ironing” label doesn’t mean what you think it does. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
3069 You never remember to use the wash and wear setting. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
3070 Do you need some help with your head? 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
3071 There are other ways of ironing out your problems 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
3072 Have you tried Vitamin C?” 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
3073 You are flat-out not getting out of doing your chores! 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
3074 You DO realize that your suit was dry-clean only, right? 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
3075 This anti-wrinkle stuff has gone too far- at what point do we just age gracefully! 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
3076 Michael, I asked you to iron the drapes, not drape over the iron. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
3077 I told you I'd iron it if you'd just wait five minutes! 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
3078 Great, now everything matches your flat personality. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
3079 That time management class you're taking is going too far. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
3080 You’re never going to iron out your problems, and you definitely won’t live any longer by using permanent press 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
3081 Not how you train for The Ironman, Frank. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
3082 You left the starch out. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
3083 This is why I always use starch. 1.1899 0.04441 79 64 15 0
3084 Time is a flat circle. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
3085 You still won’t fit through the mail slot. 1.1897 0.04567 116 99 12 5
3086 What are you all steamed up about? 1.1895 0.05247 95 82 8 5
3087 Now you’re talkin’! Your Dali-you is so much better than your Picasso-you! 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
3088 It's self-ironing not self-irony. 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
3089 No, you won't win the Iron Man competition. 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
3090 And if I offer to help, you'll just end up getting steamed. 1.1895 0.05030 95 81 10 4
3091 I said it's wash n' wear, not wear n' iron. 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
3092 you might want to rethink the relaxed fit option. 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
3093 So, Mister Efficiency, how'd that work out for you? 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
3094 Honey,I told you that housework leaves me flat but you just HAD to find out for yourself 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
3095 Have we ironed out our differences about how much you help around the house? 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
3096 Next time get wash-and-wear. 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
3097 It sure feels permanent to me. 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
3098 I think you took "permanent press" a little too far. 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
3099 New anti-aging trend left me wrinkle free! 1.1895 0.05030 95 81 10 4
3100 Did you set the iron to “dry clean only” or “total idiot” ? 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
3101 You should never steam iron anything while you are wearing it. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
3102 his great-grandfather was the architect of a famous building on Fifth Avenue, and now and then he gives homage. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
3103 I didn't think you were literally iron deficient 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
3104 Well...that's one way to do it. 1.1889 0.04149 90 73 17 0
3105 I still see the face wrinkles. 1.1889 0.04149 90 73 17 0
3106 You might want to cut back on the spray starch. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
3107 Alfred, I know you were trying to save time, but really? 1.1889 0.04149 90 73 17 0
3108 Honey, is this how you do it? 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
3109 Harold,just be yourself and stop trying to be like your brother Stanley. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
3110 At least you lost that weight you’ve been meaning to lose. 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
3111 No, I don't find it ironic at all. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
3112 I'm assuming you're a little pressed for time this morning? 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
3113 I guess Americans just don't understand irony. 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
3114 Flat Broke Again, Huh? 1.1889 0.04149 90 73 17 0
3115 I understand that the transition from WFH is tough. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
3116 Our new hybrid work policy is “2D in 3D” 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
3117 I told him we needed to iron out our issues… one of those issues being he was overweight 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
3118 Honey this isn’t what I meant with ironing everything out. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
3119 Martha, please don't scorch me like you did last time. 1.1887 0.04047 106 87 18 1
3120 I gave you one chore, do I have to explain everything. 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
3121 The suit says Easy Press, not Self Press. 1.1887 0.04047 106 87 18 1
3122 I just thought you were taking Ozempic. 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
3123 The problem is with your follow through. 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
3124 So, you’re saying, the cat convinced you to read a Wrinkle in Time after your psilocybin therapy session. 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
3125 Never iron a tie. 1.1885 0.04250 122 103 15 4
3126 I think you misunderstood when I said 'Iron Man' was hot. 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
3127 Why are you staring at my pussy…cat? 1.1882 0.05422 85 73 8 4
3128 Well, I'm impressed literally with your ironing skills this time. 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
3129 The regrettable results of a low starch diet. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
3130 Leonard, shallow doesn't suit you. 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
3131 The man in the J. Press gray flannel suit. 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
3132 I told you before. Never right side up. 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
3133 What? This is your solution to becoming less introverted & more like Iron Man?! 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
3134 That's not how you add iron to your diet." 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
3135 This is why I gave up ironing! 1.1882 0.04265 85 69 16 0
3136 You were always attracted by irony. Who knew it was fatal? 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
3137 All of the starch has gone from our marriage; I'm bored with you. 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
3138 Are you sure your boss wants the org to be this flat, honey? 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
3139 There's not enough space on that board for us to iron out our differences 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
3140 Mr. Fantastic, need help ironing out your new secret identity? 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
3141 Honey, this isn't the hotel's steam room. 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
3142 When your boss said you were "too starchy," I don't think she meant you to go this far, honey. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
3143 I need you to get your wrinkled old self back out here now! 1.1881 0.03908 101 82 19 0
3144 Stanley! You made yourself flat! 1.1881 0.04154 101 83 17 1
3145 Maybe you’re taking this flat earth theory a little *too* literally. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
3146 It only helps if we both want to iron things out. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
3147 Hurry! The post office closes at four... 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
3148 Are you steamed or pressed? 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
3149 i told him to get his act straight 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
3150 Don’t worry honey, I’ve ironed it all out. 1.1881 0.03908 101 82 19 0
3151 Puts a whole new meaning to the word Ironman. 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
3152 Please, stop with the irony.” 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
3153 I've always considered you rather two dimensional. 1.1875 0.04270 96 79 16 1
3154 The suit is only drip dry. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
3155 I think that Alexa left out an important step. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
3156 Relax! You're pressing. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
3157 I don’t think you understand the concept of Ironman. 1.1875 0.04391 80 65 15 0
3158 I guess he took permanent press literally. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
3159 Ran out of Ozembic. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
3160 The Lakers have called. They’re interested. 1.1875 0.04490 112 95 13 4
3161 Quit with the ironing, Stanley! Everyone puts on a few pounds as they age. 1.1875 0.04270 96 79 16 1
3162 Using steam appears to have been a little much 1.1875 0.04270 96 79 16 1
3163 There's still wrinkles 1.1875 0.04519 96 80 14 2
3164 Don’t even think of folding on me” 1.1875 0.04519 96 80 14 2
3165 I thought you were more of a wash and wear guy 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
3166 Tsk,Tsk,Tsk. You forgot to use fabric softener. 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
3167 This takes weaponized incompetence to a whole new level. 1.1875 0.05925 80 70 5 5
3168 This is not what I meant when I told you to straighten up. 1.1875 0.04756 96 81 12 3
3169 You're too concerned about your appearance. 1.1875 0.04391 80 65 15 0
3170 Did you have it on Steam or Steamroller? 1.1875 0.05652 80 69 7 4
3171 The doc said this should take care of my anemia. 1.1875 0.04981 96 82 10 4
3172 How long have I been telling you that you have a problem with flatulence? 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
3173 Did I not tell you “Never select permanent press?” 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
3174 Is getting wrinkles really that bad? 1.1875 0.04519 96 80 14 2
3175 Stop blaming your low starch diet. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
3176 I think I’ve ironed out the source of our problems. 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
3177 Is this what you meant by ironing yourself out? 1.1875 0.04519 96 80 14 2
3178 Ok now what about the details? 1.1875 0.04005 96 78 18 0
3179 You’re suppose to remove your shirt first Tim 1.1875 0.04005 96 78 18 0
3180 Hey babe, there's a $55 charge on the credit card from a vendor called Online Dick-Pill Mill (for Guys Whose Dicks Don't Work Anymore) — you have any idea what that's about? 1.1870 0.04057 123 103 17 3
3181 That’s not actually what ‘ironic’ means. 1.1869 0.04625 107 91 12 4
3182 I know the doctor told you that you needed more iron, but this is ridiculous 1.1869 0.04430 107 90 14 3
3183 Well, you did say that you were pressed for time. 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
3184 I asked you to stick with fluff and fold 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
3185 That’s not what I meant when I said I wanted to get things straight. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
3186 I see your low-starch diet is starting to show results. 1.1868 0.04108 91 74 17 0
3187 I am sorry but our dryer doesn't have a fluff cycle. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
3188 Are you flat-out depressed again? 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
3189 I can fold you and tuck you into your briefcase. 1.1868 0.05162 91 78 9 4
3190 When I told you to do your own damn ironing, this isn't what I meant. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
3191 Now...Just a little Botox 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
3192 Oh,no,Stanley! How was your day? You look a bit deflated. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
3193 Steam, Honey. You know better than to iron. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
3194 Aging gracefully means accepting the occasional wrinkle, Charlie. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
3195 I couldn't find the spray starch. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
3196 I’m still not impressed 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
3197 I have two basic options. Lose 30 pounds or get eleven inches taller. 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
3198 Sorry, to much fabric softener. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
3199 Your wash-'n-wear suit didn't need ironing... 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
3200 What’s your point? 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
3201 I've told you, it won't remove your wrinkles. 1.1864 0.04161 118 99 16 3
3202 On the positive side, you've finally gotten rid your "beer gut". 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
3203 I don't think that's what your doctor meant when he said you might have an iron deficiency. 1.1863 0.04772 102 87 11 4
3204 I told him the steam button was stuck! 1.1863 0.03874 102 83 19 0
3205 I told you that taking on housework would stretch you too thin! 1.1863 0.04346 102 85 15 2
3206 Don't worry, Walt. Twenty minutes on "delicate," and you'll fluff right up. 1.1863 0.04772 102 87 11 4
3207 I didn't mean some more wrinkles there. 1.1863 0.04117 102 84 17 1
3208 You did not spray enough starch.... 1.1863 0.04346 102 85 15 2
3209 You ironed yourself. In this case the reflexive pronoun is perfectly appropriate. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3210 When you said you were 'bored' of the Atkins diet I never envisaged this... 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3211 I can see you're flat out so I won't ask you to feed the cat. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
3212 Nothing like flattening the curve. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3213 Press it BEFORE you put it on! You are lucky you did not burn yourself. 1.1860 0.04221 86 70 16 0
3214 The markets are flat today too. Ironic. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3215 I'd help you with that but I'm pressed for time. 1.1860 0.04221 86 70 16 0
3216 So this is your idea of saving time? 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
3217 So you were going to make dinner but the plan fell flat? 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3218 You can’t go to work like this - the suit you put on makes you look too flat. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
3219 You've put a wrinke in all our plans, but this will hardly make things right! 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3220 Honey, it’s Iron Man like the metal… 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
3221 Perhaps you misunderstood what I meant by let's iron this out. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3222 Damn, you’ve always been too straight already! 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
3223 You no longer look depressed. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
3224 Have you considered Ozempic? 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
3225 I ironed my pants, now I don’t have to buy new ones! 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
3226 Feels like you omitted a step. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3227 Yup, the label says self ironing alright 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3228 E.D. is nothing to be ashamed of. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
3229 Sorry I ruffled your feelings 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3230 You should have let me do it for you. 1.1858 0.03885 113 93 19 1
3231 No Harold- I said iron first, then wear! 1.1858 0.04272 113 95 15 3
3232 Did I really need to remind you to take it off before you ironed it? 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
3233 We’re going for a walk now, but I’d like to hang out later. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
3234 I think you took 'thin is in' a little too far. 1.1856 0.04933 97 83 10 4
3235 I said we need to iron out our differences, not your differences. 1.1856 0.04230 97 80 16 1
3236 You should have taken your suit off before pressing it! 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
3237 Now can you demonstrate the "Fluff & Fold" cycle? 1.1856 0.04230 97 80 16 1
3238 It's going to take more than that to iron out our problems. 1.1856 0.04230 97 80 16 1
3239 I don’t think that is the renovation envisaged by the proprietors of the flat iron building. 1.1856 0.04230 97 80 16 1
3240 The Inattentive Iron Man 1.1856 0.03968 97 79 18 0
3241 Fred, do you want to press your suit? You look totally deflated. 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
3242 Don't try and get out of housework. 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
3243 You've always been above board with me, but this is ridiculous. 1.1856 0.04933 97 83 10 4
3244 Now you’ll never get that schmutz outta’your tie… 1.1856 0.04933 97 83 10 4
3245 Three minutes flat is just an expression 1.1856 0.04230 97 80 16 1
3246 Flattery is overrated. 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
3247 Really, Stanley? When is this going to stop? 1.1856 0.04933 97 83 10 4
3248 Hot yoga wasn’t working. 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
3249 I know that you have been self-conscious about your wrinkles, but I don't think this is the solution. 1.1852 0.04585 108 92 12 4
3250 Well, that' is ironic! I thought you were permanent press. 1.1852 0.03755 108 88 20 0
3251 You have a pressing problem 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
3252 He finds ironing relaxing 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
3253 Nice demo, but ironing is the one thing left in my left where I kind of enjoy drudgery. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
3254 You’re right. It’s the opposite of kinky. 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
3255 This is not what I had in mind when I said we needed to iron out the problems with our relationship 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
3256 I always thought the armored suit is why they call you Iron Man. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
3257 I guess it all came out in the wash 1.1852 0.04585 108 92 12 4
3258 Honey, the suit is ruined. Didn’t you read the “dry clean only” label? 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
3259 I dont't think you really understood what I meant by "mental load". 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
3260 Perhaps take off the suit before ironing it. Just a thought. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
3261 Ironed hair was ‘60’s. Is this post-Trump, post-Biden next-gen? 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
3262 Honey, the label said Permanent Press. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
3263 Do you really think that you look more flattering now? 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
3264 Apparently, your mother used to do all of your ironing. 1.1852 0.04191 108 90 16 2
3265 I guess it worked - you look a lot thinner 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
3266 This is not what I meant when I said we should “iron things out” 1.1852 0.04343 81 66 15 0
3267 Get the fuck off the ironing board you jackass! 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
3268 Really, Dali, this obsession with the persistence of memory must stop. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
3269 You never iron permanent press. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
3270 Don't you have more pressing things to do? 1.1848 0.04069 92 75 17 0
3271 Honey, I love the way you press on with your diet. Don't you ever get steamed? 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
3272 I knew he was flat footed.........guess he wanted the rest to match. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
3273 Oh my gosh, you shouldn't have used the steam setting 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
3274 Hot off the press. The trash needs putting out” 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
3275 I thought we agreed - no more TikTok! 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
3276 I think you forgot the spray starch." 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
3277 hey honey! Look I ironed out all my kinks. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
3278 I told you house work is real work Jeff 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
3279 That's not how Tony Stark did it. 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
3280 Sniffing the fabric softener again? 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
3281 Okay, now wrap yourself around my little finger. 1.1845 0.04926 103 89 9 5
3282 It's not the same as brushing off lint. 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
3283 How many times do I have to tell you - you're a 'light' starch kinda guy! 1.1845 0.04081 103 85 17 1
3284 Have you considered a facelift? 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
3285 It is why nearly all people dislike ironing 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
3286 He said, "Iron my suit". She said, "Go iron yourself". 1.1845 0.04729 103 88 11 4
3287 On a suit the crease is supposed to be on front and back, not on the sides! 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3288 You forgot to use spray starch. 1.1842 0.04238 114 96 15 3
3289 This is ironic in so many ways.” 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3290 Look, that idea did not go well, and you're still late for work! 1.1842 0.04476 76 62 14 0
3291 Oh, that’s what you meant when you said you were feeling kind of flat. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3292 That's not how to deal with a pressing situation. 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
3293 I said “No starch.” 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
3294 Honey, I'm not sure that's the best anti-aging routine for you. 1.1839 0.04178 87 71 16 0
3295 Yeesh, I should have married Fat Stanley. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
3296 I told you we were out of starch. 1.1839 0.04178 87 71 16 0
3297 I prefer the Iron Butterfly version. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
3298 Stop it with the aggressive incompetence! 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
3299 Spare me the dramatics, Harold. You're not convincing anyone that you've gone straigth. 1.1839 0.05305 87 75 8 4
3300 I said it was your argument that had to be iron clad, not your garment. 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
3301 Honey, I told you that you needed more iron! 1.1839 0.04178 87 71 16 0
3302 Well, we’ll just have to hope your’re temporary press. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
3303 I'm not sure about this new weight loss technique 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
3304 Yes, I said we had things to iron out, but once again, Harold, you’ve managed to make everything all about you." 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
3305 If you really wanted to iron out things between us, you should have started on the head. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
3306 When I said you were one dimensional, this is not what I meant! 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
3307 Now you know what starch is for. 1.1837 0.04191 98 81 16 1
3308 Didn't I tell you that weight loss drug was just a scam? 1.1837 0.04886 98 84 10 4
3309 I'm sorry I can't help you. I have my own pressing problems. 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
3310 How many times have I told you?! You have to take your clothes off BEFORE you iron them! 1.1837 0.03932 98 80 18 0
3311 Let me guess: Iron Deficiency. 1.1837 0.04191 98 81 16 1
3312 I presume the "wrinkle free" setting on the dryer failed to work. 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
3313 You should have asked for starch. 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
3314 Well, it looks as if you let off a lot of steam. 1.1835 0.04355 109 92 14 3
3315 Did that really save you any time? 1.1835 0.04355 109 92 14 3
3316 Honey, this isn't flattering." 1.1835 0.04355 109 92 14 3
3317 Did the instructions say lie flat while ironing or iron till flat? 1.1829 0.05522 82 71 7 4
3318 Did you check the rules? It’s a race. 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
3319 Haven’t we discussed this? 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
3320 I keep telling him it’s a no iron suit fabric 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
3321 Sorry, we're out of starch. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
3322 You’ve taken self-ironing to a whole new level … very flattering. 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
3323 I always thought you were permanent press." 1.1829 0.04296 82 67 15 0
3324 I guess you didn't get that raise.” 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
3325 The therapist said more self-irony not more self-ironing. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
3326 I promise the chiropractor does that remember that weird thing you said. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
3327 Don't use this as an excuse for not doing the laundry 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
3328 I still say we have few issues to iron out 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
3329 Ok, now you're taking your weaponized incompetence a bit too far 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
3330 This is why I’ll only buy wash and wear. 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
3331 When your finished in here, start on the kitchen. 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
3332 Honey, this is not what I meant when I said we need to ‘iron things out’”. 1.1828 0.05058 93 80 9 4
3333 Pretty smooth Iron Man. 1.1828 0.04310 93 77 15 1
3334 No, what I said was, you have no sense of irony. 1.1828 0.05058 93 80 9 4
3335 Looks like you're a 'dry clean only' kind of man 1.1828 0.04310 93 77 15 1
3336 Try to remember, Bill, it's not always all about you. 1.1828 0.04310 93 77 15 1
3337 Silly you, you are supposed to take the suit off and then iron it. 1.1828 0.04310 93 77 15 1
3338 Get up Derek - we know it's you. 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
3339 You couldn't wait for me to do that? 1.1828 0.04310 93 77 15 1
3340 You forgot your head again, will I do it for you? 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
3341 For the last time Greg! DONT HIDE CHEESE SANDWICHES IN YOUR POCKETS! 1.1828 0.04310 93 77 15 1
3342 Tell me you’ve never ironed clothes without telling me you’ve never ironed clothes ” 1.1828 0.04030 93 76 17 0
3343 Well, that’s one way to iron out your kinks 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
3344 no, that’s not what ‘self-cleaning’ means. 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
3345 Here's the iron supplement I suggested you take, and the hearing aides you keep pretending aren't necessary. 1.1827 0.04687 104 89 11 4
3346 I said an anti-aging CREAM, not an anti-aging STEAM. 1.1827 0.04270 104 87 15 2
3347 I warned you that you’re supposed to take off the suit before you iron it. 1.1827 0.04045 104 86 17 1
3348 Working flat out again darling ? 1.1827 0.04270 104 87 15 2
3349 Frank, this will NEVER replace liposuction! 1.1827 0.04270 104 87 15 2
3350 Honey, I understood you the first time you told me you’ve been working yourself thin. 1.1827 0.04045 104 86 17 1
3351 I can slip you under the office door. 1.1818 0.04152 99 82 16 1
3352 The DMV called. You can change your name to Gumby. 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
3353 I liked it better when you were just wishy-washy. 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
3354 That don’t impress me much. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
3355 Are you sure you got all your kinks? 1.1818 0.04319 110 93 14 3
3356 You've clearly never seen "Iron Man," have you?! 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
3357 Dave, the diet totally worked, but the maintenance regime is a bit extreme. Can we discuss this at another time? What do you think of the false eyelashes I put on the cat? I wanted to do the aardvark, but she's foraging at the termite hill. Burrrrp! 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
3358 Flat Earther meeting tonight? 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3359 Well, honey, I guess you won’t need to worry about your wrinkles anymore. 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3360 They pressed me to tell the truth,a hot issue and my worst experience! 1.1818 0.04393 99 83 14 2
3361 You said you wanted to go flat-out? 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
3362 I suppose it is more effective than Botox, but you may be overlooking some serious side effects. 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
3363 I hate to nag, but I think you should stop seeing your shrink. 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
3364 And isn’t it iron-ic? 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3365 Not enough starch. 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3366 Well...at least you're not iron deficient. 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3367 The starch free diet had a few side effects. 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3368 Good work! I'm glad you decided to iron out our differences. 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3369 You might want to use my blow dryer to fluff up, if you’re done here. 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3370 `See? Wrinkles are gone. 1.1818 0.04152 99 82 16 1
3371 You forgot to take it off again? 1.1818 0.04152 99 82 16 1
3372 No, I said hurry up and get 'dressed.' 1.1818 0.04135 88 72 16 0
3373 I’m sorry, it was a Freudian slip. I meant, “do it yourself.” Not “do it to yourself.” 1.1818 0.04393 99 83 14 2
3374 This is not what the doctor meant by adding more iron in your diet. 1.1818 0.04424 77 63 14 0
3375 But you said you wanted to be called Iron Man. 1.1818 0.04840 99 85 10 4
3376 How ironic you should resort to such tactics to avoid doing the laundry! 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
3377 You're no Tony Stark. 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
3378 I did tell you flat out it wouldn't work. 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3379 There's always a chance you could fall flat on your face. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
3380 Honestly honey, in what metaverse do you think people want to see Tony Starch as Ironed Man? 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
3381 You really should have quit after they cut your free dry cleaning… 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3382 For better or worse," means I don't mind some wrinkles 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3383 See? If you'd taken that home economics class with me in high school you would have known to take the suit off before ironing it. 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
3384 I'm starting to think this Ironing Diet only redistributes your weight. 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3385 So this is what you call “working on yourself”? And you’d rather do this than go to therapy? 1.1818 0.04135 88 72 16 0
3386 Ah, the feigned-ignorance-in-regard-to-chores bit... 1.1818 0.04135 88 72 16 0
3387 The doctor suggested increasing your iron dear ,this is not what he had in mind 1.1810 0.04232 105 88 15 2
3388 I think the paleo diet would have been a more comfortable choice. 1.1810 0.04010 105 87 17 1
3389 I'm glad we ironed things out. 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
3390 Flat Stanley learns to iron. 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
3391 You look skinnier! You been dieting again?! 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
3392 Dang! You have no wrinkles anywhere. Why have I not thought of this body magic before! 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
3393 Honey, I know you want to be a lawyer someday, but this isn't what's meant by 'pressing suit'. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
3394 A full body dry cycle - never understood it. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
3395 You flattered yourself, didn't you. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
3396 You still have to clean the kitty litter. 1.1809 0.03991 94 77 17 0
3397 Is this permanent? 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
3398 I don’t understand why the wrinkles aren’t coming out. 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
3399 You forgot to use spray starch before self-ironing again, right?" 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
3400 Something about our relationship just feels flat 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
3401 It’s a pressing matter! 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
3402 Okay, but it's a non-iron shirt. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
3403 You said you wanted to help with the housework! 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
3404 There is this blue pill ... 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
3405 Hunh." Another of your stunts to convince me it's too dangerous for you to do any housework. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
3406 I assumed you knew you had to take them off first. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
3407 It’s date night Ralph, make sure you starch 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
3408 Ironing flattened you out again? 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
3409 Really? You're Iron Man? 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
3410 This is not how I pictured ironing things out. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
3411 You didn't get all the wrinkles out! 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
3412 Think that takes fitting in a bit far? 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
3413 You aren’t supposed to put a crease in the jacket sleeves 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
3414 Okay Dennis, we’re both very imPRESSED. 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
3415 Why are you so darn pressed about the cat 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
3416 This self-flattery is getting you nowhere. 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
3417 Oh no, I'll get the starch. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
3418 So you're training for the ironman? 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
3419 Honey, if you’re not pressed for time could you pick up the dry cleaning please 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
3420 : I ironed out all of my issues. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
3421 So, you really think that you have all of your problems ironed out...? 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
3422 I just needed to iron out a few details in this relationship. 1.1800 0.04579 100 85 12 3
3423 Getting your problems all ironed out? 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
3424 So you are feeling pressed again? 1.1800 0.04115 100 83 16 1
3425 Stanley, aren't you ready? Your FedEx pickup is at 5! 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
3426 And just when I thought you couldn't get any more flat." 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
3427 Oh, oh honey! You used a steam iron... 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
3428 Don’t be absurd, Frank — the cat’s been upstairs with me all morning. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
3429 You're supposed to take your suit off first, but what an innovative way to save time! 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
3430 When did you change your name to Stanley? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
3431 Let's face it, Ted. Ironing isn't your strong suit. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
3432 Staying in the dryer for an hour on high would have worked just as well, dear.” 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
3433 Why, John? Why do you always overdo it?! 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
3434 A bit heavy on the starch don't you think? 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
3435 I realize that I said “flat iron”…. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
3436 Next time try a lower temperature 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
3437 Thanks for agreeing to iron this out! 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
3438 Okay Rob, what's the "pressing issue" you wanted to talk about? 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
3439 I see you've taken your weaponized incompetence to the next level. 1.1798 0.05434 89 78 6 5
3440 This is not the way for us to iron things out. 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
3441 This is not what I meant by getting a stiff backbone. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
3442 So, when I said flattery will get you everywhere… 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
3443 Did you have a pressing meeting with the board to iron out the differences? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
3444 You’re taking ‘melts fat away’ to a new level. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
3445 That’s not what I meant when I said “Do your own ironing”. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
3446 Honey,I told you it was a no-iron suit. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
3447 Try using a little starch. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
3448 When he said no starch, I figured he was just giving up bread. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
3449 Iron deficiency, not ironing deficiency 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
3450 How many times do I have to remind you of the 'permanent press' setting in the dryer? 1.1792 0.04604 106 91 11 4
3451 I'm leaving you for Perma Press. 1.1792 0.04405 106 90 13 3
3452 See? I told you you would look ten years younger if you had work done on your wrinkles. 1.1792 0.04405 106 90 13 3
3453 Practicing hot yoga at home again? 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
3454 Good try, Stan, but I still can't send you to the Caribbean for the winter. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
3455 Did you forget the starch again? 1.1789 0.04728 95 81 11 3
3456 It's customary to take the suit off before pressing. 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
3457 Wanda once again fails to see nuance in Ted's metaphors 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
3458 Aren’t you wrinkle-free yet?? 1.1789 0.04227 95 79 15 1
3459 So when you said you 'knocked them dead' at work .... 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
3460 You didn't know your clothes are drip-dry? How ironic. 1.1789 0.03954 95 78 17 0
3461 I was fighting with the iron...she/it/he won(!) 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
3462 Ok now, you want starch on a hanger or starch in a box? 1.1789 0.04227 95 79 15 1
3463 Did you read the tag? Dry clean only 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
3464 I see you’ve ironed yourself for once 1.1789 0.04728 95 81 11 3
3465 I told you I’m a cat lady, Gizmo. Don’t believe me? Here’s what you’re competing with! 1.1789 0.04227 95 79 15 1
3466 So.Now you think your "Iron Man"? 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
3467 Anything to get out of folding the laundry. 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
3468 Okay, let's see: 'Iron Man'? 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
3469 Hey, you don't want to use starch, that's your problem. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
3470 I thought I heard a scream. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
3471 I don’t think this is working out. I need a partner with more depth. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
3472 Yeah, hunting and gathering is more your thing. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
3473 When I said "you should help out more around the house," I wasn't expecting you to go "flat out" 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
3474 This does not replace diet and exercise Ron. 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
3475 It says right on the instructions - remove clothing before ironing. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
3476 Next time, iron your clothes before putting them on. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
3477 This is a new twist on Perma-Press. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
3478 No, I’m not THAT flat. 1.1786 0.05658 84 74 5 5
3479 I'm not burned out, just spread thin. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
3480 I think he meant an infusion. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
3481 I still think Botox is better. 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
3482 Money laundering cannot be ironed out before breakfast” 1.1786 0.05399 84 73 7 4
3483 I thought I would try looking how I feel today. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
3484 At least we have ironed it all out. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
3485 It’s great when you are straight 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
3486 When the don’t know how to use iron 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
3487 Well, this time you’ve just gone way too far, Mr Do-It-Yourselfer! 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
3488 You said my singing was a little sharp... 1.1782 0.04750 101 87 10 4
3489 There you are,ironman! 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
3490 You can not iron out your flaws ! 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
3491 This was the pressing matter that’s kept you from your chores? 1.1782 0.04750 101 87 10 4
3492 It’s great that you want to do more in the house, but how about just feeding the cat for now? 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
3493 You're putting too much softener in the rinse cycle again. 1.1782 0.04077 101 84 16 1
3494 The worst wrinkles are in your head 1.1782 0.04077 101 84 16 1
3495 “Honey, in your suit you’re dry clean only.” 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3496 I'd be hard pressed to say that the yoga classes are paying off" 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
3497 Stanley, I think you need a break from all your travels! 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3498 Looks like you’re ironed out. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3499 Stanley if you don't grow up, I'm going to mail you back to your mother. 1.1781 0.05962 73 64 5 4
3500 I think you missed a bit around the waist. 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
3501 That's not what I meant. But we do have some things to iron out in our relationship. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
3502 Men can’t multitask. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
3503 It’s cordless and you’re brainless! 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
3504 O.K. I'm impressed! 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
3505 Honey, I hope you didn't use starch. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
3506 How come you couldn't help with the housework like this when I was pregnant? 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
3507 I know this is some kind of ploy to get me to iron your shirts. 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
3508 But at least you're finally trying to help with the household chores, dear. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
3509 Now that's what I call "permanent press"! 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
3510 No, this is not a "skill". 1.1776 0.03942 107 89 17 1
3511 You missed the head. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
3512 I just don't think we can iron things out! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
3513 You’re getting old. You’ll never be wrinkle free 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
3514 He said you were ready to be tossed in the dryer. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
3515 You're supposed to take off the suit before ironing it! 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
3516 Seriously Bob, I really do think you have too much iron in your diet. 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
3517 The next time you won’t be so quick to tell me that you’re pressed for time, will you? 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
3518 Your trousers are supposed to have a crease! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
3519 No, no, Honey, not that way! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
3520 When I said we have to iron out our differences I didn’t think you’d take it literally. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
3521 When you said "pressing issues," this is not what I imagined. 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
3522 I'm sorry but this isn't the Iron Man I ordered for my son's birthday party. 1.1772 0.05628 79 69 6 4
3523 Maybe you should cut back on your iron supplements? 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
3524 But you said no starch. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
3525 That’s too much flatteries 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
3526 Are you low on iron again? 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
3527 OMG... I know you've been feeling flat lately but I had no idea it was self inflicted. 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
3528 Ben, I don’t think this is what our therapist meant when she told us to iron some things out. 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
3529 This was your idea to reduce middle management? 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
3530 I see your point. Inflation can be a good thing, too. 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
3531 It works better without you actually in the clothes. 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
3532 20 years of marriage and I don't still get your irony 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
3533 I told you wash and wear was the way to go. 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
3534 I'd have gone for the Botox.... 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
3535 I was going to suggest using less steam, but we should probably start with the basics. 1.1765 0.04159 85 70 15 0
3536 This wasn't what I had in mind when I said that we could probably iron things out. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
3537 I was just teasing about the crow’s feet, honey! 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
3538 Irv hated the gym but really wanted the washboard stomach. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
3539 You never should have bought that Dali suite. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
3540 Honey, this isn't what I meant by letting off some steam. 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
3541 I didn't know how to tell you that I'm flat-out broke 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
3542 You're interview at the Flatiron Buliding has been canceled. 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
3543 There are better ways to prove you have an iron, Will. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
3544 Are we really flat out broke? 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
3545 The doctor said I'm anemic and desperately in need of iron. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
3546 Don't think this will get you out of your share of the housework 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
3547 You better iron out your problems better than that - your forehead's still way wrinkled. 1.1765 0.04275 102 86 14 2
3548 I know you don’t like being called a “stuffed shirt”, but this isn’t the solution. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
3549 I appreciate the gesture but at this point it’s fallen flat 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
3550 Let’s just iron things out 1.1765 0.04909 102 89 8 5
3551 Don’t worry honey, I’m sure you’ll get it all ironed out. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
3552 I know you don’t know how to Iron, but this is flat out embarrassing 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
3553 Press It Yourself"? We're lying on a goldmine 1.1759 0.04124 108 91 15 2
3554 If you're finished, the cat wants her perch back. 1.1759 0.03909 108 90 17 1
3555 The skinny man suit gone too far" By Tom Sievers 1.1759 0.03909 108 90 17 1
3556 Feeling pressure from work already? 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
3557 I know you were in a hurry, but I told you had to take off your suit before removing the wrinkles with a steam iron. Now I have to remember where I put the air pump since the last time we used it. 1.1759 0.04525 108 93 11 4
3558 Flat Stanley finally got the corporate gig he always wanted, but still couldn’t figure out pleated pants 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
3559 I’m impressed 1.1758 0.05086 91 79 8 4
3560 So, you didn’t even consider Botox? 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
3561 What's ironic is that you got the creases out much better than I could have. 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
3562 Honey, why don’t you try exercise first next time? 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
3563 Dear, I am not impressed, but clearly you are... 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
3564 No, you ironed the front fold the wrong way 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
3565 What made you think I would be impressed? 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
3566 Is this your way of telling me that you are flat broke ? 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
3567 Now I can't rest my head on your shoulder to check myself out in the mirror. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
3568 I said iron out your own issue, not iron out your own tissue. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
3569 I said we could iron things out! 1.1758 0.04013 91 75 16 0
3570 Go iron, yourself! 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
3571 These midday yoga workouts are are getting out of hand. 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
3572 Behind the scenes of ‘Flat Stanley’ was actually pretty dark as you can see here 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
3573 Honey, the dryer has a setting… 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
3574 I must have misheard him when he said: ‘I will do the ironing myself. ‘ 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
3575 I told you that iron runs hot. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
3576 You forgot about the spray starch. 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
3577 You really can’t do irony. 1.1753 0.04148 97 81 15 1
3578 That's not what I meant when I said you had an iron defciency. 1.1753 0.04148 97 81 15 1
3579 Enough already with the irony. You’re a lawyer, not a layer. 1.1753 0.04863 97 84 9 4
3580 and here I thought you were wrinkle free. 1.1753 0.04148 97 81 15 1
3581 This is your "pressing appointment"? 1.1753 0.04148 97 81 15 1
3582 Your dedication to laundry has finally gone too far. 1.1753 0.04148 97 81 15 1
3583 The label does say 'Do not iron clothes on body' 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
3584 I said we had to iron out our problems, but this seems extreme. 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
3585 Why did you take the washer and dryer out of the basement? 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
3586 Add some starch next time you iron your clothes while wearing them. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
3587 Looking good,Stanley!! 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
3588 That manager is flatter than a cardboard cutout. PROMOTE THAT MAN! 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
3589 Wow, you really thinned down...and out 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
3590 No problem. I'll have you done in nothing flat. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
3591 I did not mean we could LITERALLY 'Iron it Out.' 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
3592 Wash and wear and iron? I don't think so. 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
3593 Honey,you can't keep ironing yourself every time I say "Let's have a baby"? 1.1750 0.05562 80 70 6 4
3594 When you said you were going to iron out the kinks, I thought you meant therapy 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
3595 This relationship is as iron-ic as your chores! 1.1748 0.04236 103 87 14 2
3596 His sense of irony was a bit flat. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
3597 Look, I'm straight! 1.1748 0.04236 103 87 14 2
3598 Next time take the suit off before you iron it. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
3599 Didn't I tell you not to use the AI setting? 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
3600 Are you wafting to the office today? 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
3601 IF YOU NEED A NAP, GO UPSTAIRS! 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
3602 You're too obsessed with your wrinkles. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
3603 Stanley, this was cute when we met, but it's not going to revive our marriage. 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
3604 That’s not what I meant when I told you to iron out the details! 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
3605 You finally got all the wrinkles out!" 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
3606 I don't think your friends meant this ironman. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
3607 Wash and wear" does not mean simultaneously 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
3608 Bob always bored me. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
3609 Nice try, Jeffrey, but I’m not going to ‘re-inflate’ you. Now get out of that stupid suit, we’re meeting Susan and her new girlfriend at Carbone in an hour and you can’t go looking like you just walked out of a New Yorker cartoon about martinis. 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
3610 I guess I'm just glad you stopped before your face. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
3611 You're not quite flat enough to fit into the metaverse. 1.1743 0.04671 109 95 9 5
3612 You could have gone out to hang with friends, instead. 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
3613 I know you want to make a good impression, but aren't you worried your new boss will walk all over you? 1.1739 0.05034 92 80 8 4
3614 Is this another TikTop challenge? 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
3615 Harold, stop trying to impress the cat. 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
3616 "I know the lawyer told us to iron out our own problems ... but haven't you gone a little too far?" 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
3617 Hopefully he ironed out all of his problems! 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
3618 You think the argument is over! 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
3619 Ironing out your wrinkles is just a saying, honey. 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
3620 Well, he does show signs of willingness to self improve. 1.1739 0.05034 92 80 8 4
3621 I can box you up and ship you to the office if you 1.1739 0.03973 92 76 16 0
3622 You’re always complaining about how pressed you are but now you’re being ridiculous. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
3623 You can't relive your youth, Stan. The days of "Flat Stanley" are long over. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
3624 Me bending over backwards never was quite enough for you was it Sharon? 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
3625 He flat-lined from using a flat iron” 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
3626 So, that's the way you want to iron out our relationship? 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
3627 I told you to get permanent press but you wouldn’t listen. 1.1739 0.03973 92 76 16 0
3628 I told you yesterday we were flat broke. 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
3629 Did you forget to use the fluffier balls again? 1.1739 0.05034 92 80 8 4
3630 Honey, I checked and your care label said specifically 'No Starch!' 1.1739 0.03973 92 76 16 0
3631 You could just take an iron supplement... 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
3632 You know when the doc said you were lacking in iron…. 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
3633 The cat thinks you’re an idiot too 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
3634 True permanent press. 1.1735 0.04816 98 85 9 4
3635 Empressive. He's ironed out all of his issues. 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
3636 No more need to knock, just slide under the door” 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
3637 Your profile said 'Perma-Press.' 1.1735 0.03845 98 81 17 0
3638 Ok, ok, I get it. You're flat broke, but surely you can cough up $5 for Pee Pee's cat treats! 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
3639 He's pressed me for the last time 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
3640 Wow, you really have been wearing yourself thin. 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
3641 Were you looking for irony by self-ironing? 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
3642 I was asking whether you need to be impressed, not whether you need to be "pressed ". 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
3643 When I said we'll iron t out, I didn't mean literally. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
3644 Well, cat, at least we won't need a high coffin. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
3645 O.K., I'm sorry for calling you flat out useless. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
3646 I will explain this in a moment but from this angle I can see right up your nose. 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
3647 You’ll have more body if you use fabric softener. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
3648 I see you found the permanent-press setting. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
3649 I guess that’s one way to get those wrinkles out 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
3650 Tonight's going to be interesting, isn't it? 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
3651 When you said you would iron yourself, I thought you meant the clothes. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
3652 I said I wanted to talk about our love languages, not our care instructions 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
3653 I flat out told you to send it to the dry cleaners. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
3654 You forgot the head wrinkles 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
3655 Mitt, it was funny the first time, but now you’ve gone too far. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
3656 This seems like as good a time to tell you as any; I'm leaving you, and I'm taking he cat. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
3657 Honey, I'm so proud of you. Could you iron my balaclava too? 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
3658 You know your suit is permanent press." 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
3659 Are you 'striking while the iron is hot? 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
3660 I don't think this is what your manager meant when they said, "Be more in touch with the next board meeting. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
3661 Looks like he finally ironed himself out. 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
3662 And yet, none of your character flaws are ironed out." 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
3663 I said you were doing it wrong, but no, you thought you were so smooth. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
3664 It's very flattening how efficient you are. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
3665 I’m all for self care but this may be taking it a bit too far 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
3666 It’s really not helpful when you “help”. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
3667 I’m afraid the face wrinkles are here to stay. 1.1727 0.04055 110 93 15 2
3668 I thought it would save time. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
3669 Some spray starch might help. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
3670 Listen, to impress me you need an iron will AND a backbone. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
3671 Yeah no, flat iron is what I do to my hair. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
3672 I am impressed, it wasn't even plugged in 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
3673 I know you haven’t done this before but generally you want to take the suit off before you iron…. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
3674 No, I'm not going to iron your hand. Do I look like your maid? 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
3675 I think you are carrying this flat-earther thing a little too far. 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
3676 If I fold you Marie Kondo style, I can get more husbands for our condo. 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
3677 There's still wrinkles on your face. 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
3678 Let me introduce you to the true Tony Stark. 1.1724 0.04073 87 72 15 0
3679 Did you forget to iron it last night? 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
3680 Hmm……you’re giving whole new meaning to ‘being hard pressed’! 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
3681 And I thought Ironing was relaxing 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
3682 Good job, but maybe next time, a little less starch and press before you dress. 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
3683 Next time, skip the fabric softener. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
3684 Read the label! Use only cool iron! 1.1724 0.04073 87 72 15 0
3685 That's not what I meant by, 'I'm not your maid! Iron yourself.' 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
3686 No, I will not un-iron you! 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
3687 When you said you’d iron out the details, I took it for a metaphor. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
3688 This doesn’t get you out of finishing the laundry. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
3689 Good news! I’ve ironed out my flaws 1.1724 0.04073 87 72 15 0
3690 Ummmm, Doug, I don’t think you know the fundamentals of ironing. Do you? 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
3691 I love when you're steamy! 1.1720 0.04983 93 81 8 4
3692 My mother called and asked that you "look sharp." 1.1720 0.03935 93 77 16 0
3693 You just won the Ironed Man competition! 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
3694 I told you to straighten yourself out, but. . . . 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
3695 You set the iron to "Overachiever" again, didn't you." 1.1720 0.05432 93 83 4 6
3696 The instructions said "wash and wear." 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
3697 Did you use distilled water like I told you to? 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
3698 You did a good job but you need to learn how to let go. 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
3699 I know you've been through the ringer but I too have some pressing matters 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
3700 You somehow manage to stay hopelessly uptight even when fully relaxed,, 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
3701 I think we finally ironed out his kinks... 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
3702 I appreciate you helping out with the housework but aren't you spreading yourself out too thin. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
3703 Is this how management is trying to flatten the organization? 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
3704 I don’t think this qualifies as ‘Ironing out your issues’ 1.1717 0.04317 99 84 13 2
3705 You did a good job, next time remove your clothes before ironing. Herb Fishman N.Y.C 1.1717 0.03810 99 82 17 0
3706 Do you still not see the irony in all of this? 1.1717 0.04071 99 83 15 1
3707 You know, I don't like the Flat Stanley look. 1.1717 0.04071 99 83 15 1
3708 So, what are the details? 1.1717 0.03810 99 82 17 0
3709 It's incredible the lengths you will go to prove you can't do your own laundry. 1.1717 0.04317 99 84 13 2
3710 Dummie, you should've gotten yourself dry-cleaned. 1.1717 0.04071 99 83 15 1
3711 You should've used the dryer first. 1.1717 0.03810 99 82 17 0
3712 "George, the size of the ironing board is the LEAST of your problems!" 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
3713 Weaponized incompetence, indeed. 1.1714 0.04777 105 92 8 5
3714 Show a little starch why dont ya! 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
3715 Ready for the dryer? 1.1714 0.04376 105 90 12 3
3716 Not what I meant by Iron it yourself ! 1.1714 0.04376 105 90 12 3
3717 I’m “pressed” for time too! You’ll have to fold yourself…..yourself (?) 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
3718 You're taking the concept of Permanent Press way too seriously! 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
3719 Well honey…this gives a whole new meaning to your iron deficiency 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
3720 I'll iron your hand just as soon as you explain who ironed your elbow. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
3721 You still have the food stain on your tie. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
3722 Just ironing out some details before the interview. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
3723 Ironing out your kinks means 'talk to a therapist' not...whatever this is. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
3724 You did this on purpose so I wouldn’t ask you to help with the laundry anymore. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
3725 Self-weaponized Incompetence 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
3726 Yes, Chairman Powell, sometimes inflation can be a good thing. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3727 Have you seen my Ozempic? 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3728 So, I'm heading into town. Do you need anything? 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3729 I'm afraid to ask if you starched your underwear. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3730 In hindsight, do you really think this is a time saver? 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3731 Well, at least you asked for directions. Next step is taking them. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
3732 It's like I keep telling you: You have to remove the suit before you iron it. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
3733 I finally get to try the Fluff Cycle on our new dryer. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3734 Welcome Prof. Abbott to flatland. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3735 Well, I never really wanted to press the issue so I'm glad you finally got is ironed out. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
3736 This is not what I meant when I told you to "go iron yourself. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
3737 I specifically told you, heavy starch! 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3738 That's not how you become Iron Man 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3739 Another life hack? 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
3740 You might land a new job faster if you ironed out your resume instead! 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
3741 I'm not that's how you dress for a board meeting. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3742 Do you feel relaxed yet? This is what all the kids are doing these days to decompress. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
3743 I would have ironed your suit but I thought it was permanent press ? Or are you permanently pressed? 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
3744 When you called and said you were feeling flat I assumed you were being metaphorical. 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
3745 Where are they now: Flat Stanley edition 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
3746 I told you I’d iron that for you 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3747 Attempting to crease to exist 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3748 I should really hide those Amelia Bedelia books. 1.1705 0.04908 88 76 9 3
3749 Good work. Your next job is to see if the garburator is working. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3750 And I'm supposed to be impressed? 1.1705 0.04908 88 76 9 3
3751 He was in such a hurry for a job interview. 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
3752 Our differences are still there. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3753 I have never seen somebody so lazy that they will not get out of their suit before ironing it 1.1705 0.04031 88 73 15 0
3754 I’ll give you ironic. Flat broke, huh? 1.1705 0.04908 88 76 9 3
3755 I guess he needs more iron rich foods! 1.1705 0.04031 88 73 15 0
3756 When I told you to get your own flat, I was not being ironic. 1.1705 0.04031 88 73 15 0
3757 I guess that new softener didn’t get all of the wrinkles out ! 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
3758 When you finish in here, can you make me some pancakes?” 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3759 Is this what you call pressing business? 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3760 Honey, could you grab the starch? 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
3761 What are these pressing issues you speak of? 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
3762 Not bad... though you seem to have missed the head! 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3763 You’re test results are in. You need more iron. 1.1705 0.04908 88 76 9 3
3764 I guess that's one way to get rid of your wrinkles. 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
3765 I told ya there was too much ironing ya. 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
3766 GLAD TO SEE YOU IRONED OUT ALL YOUR PROBLEMS! 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
3767 He was considering going under the knife,but I convinced him to go under the iron 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
3768 I concede the point, since you press the issue 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
3769 You know that's not what I meant when I said 'from now on you can do the ironing yourself'. 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
3770 Honey...that's way too much starch!! 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
3771 They said we should iron out any issues, because it’s back in the office for everyone beginning Monday. 1.1700 0.04277 100 85 13 2
3772 When I said you could iron yourself, did you really think this is what I meant? 1.1698 0.04540 106 92 10 4
3773 You're just flat out wrong. 1.1696 0.04373 112 97 11 4
3774 test test 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
3775 "When I said to iron your clothes, I didn't mean with you in them. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
3776 Yet another pressing engagement? 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
3777 I’m glad you’re learning to be more flexible. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
3778 I guess we'll have to iron out the details of his funeral arrangements now. 1.1690 0.05669 71 62 6 3
3779 And to think you did it all with a cordless iron -- I'm pretty sure we could monetize that thing. 1.1688 0.05359 77 67 7 3
3780 WELL,THE DOCTOR DID SAY YOU NEED MORE IRON. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
3781 Not what I meant about ironing out your problems. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
3782 First you boil coffee in your mouth, now this?!" Andy Chen Mathieson, Los Angeles, Cali 1.1688 0.05359 77 67 7 3
3783 I just said we've got to iron out this 'new male domesticity' thing! 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
3784 Step 1: Take the clothes off 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
3785 I told you, no steam. 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
3786 Honey, I told you the reverse steam setting wouldn't be a good idea. 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
3787 This is what happens when you do your own press. It just falls flat. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
3788 This should iron out our problems 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
3789 I didn't really mean it when I said you have a flat personality! 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
3790 So this is your pressing concern? 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
3791 I got it we lost a lot of money in the market..but you have to go back to the dry cleaner 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
3792 You took self-service to the next level 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
3793 Want to bet that no one notices. 1.1688 0.05669 77 68 5 4
3794 Babe, I think you took this Flat Stanley costume idea a little too far. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
3795 You will seriously try ANYthing to look younger. 1.1688 0.05669 77 68 5 4
3796 Your childhood isn’t coming back, Stanley. 1.1688 0.05359 77 67 7 3
3797 Talk about a flat affect, huh? But at least he fits in about anywhere. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3798 How ironic! 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3799 You know that suit is dry clean only, right? 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
3800 Oh My God, I think you have burnt your-self with the iron". Basharmal Qazi, Chicago , IL 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3801 That is not the recommended protocol for anemia. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3802 Oh please, don't flatter yourself. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3803 You were Supposed to be Wash & Wear! 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
3804 When I meant giving a good impression.... ! 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3805 We’ll that’s one way to flatten your spare tire. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3806 You're a flat-out disappointment, Keith. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
3807 Iron yourself was you do you're own ironing buster. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3808 When I said we need to iron out some difficulties I didn’t think you would take me literally 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3809 I warned you not to use permanent press. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3810 Sam--Ironing a suit is a whole different thing than an iron-on suit. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3811 How might you possibly have thought This might help?! " jk fuller genoa, nv 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
3812 My world is flat. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
3813 I told him to use the drip dry cycle 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3814 What the fuck did you do now, Stewart?!? Selfish jerk!! 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
3815 Really?! You needed me to explain that you are supposed wait to put on the suit? 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3816 I can’t help you now. It’s your own, sad reliance on irony that got you into this position. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3817 Yep, I can still tell you got that suit from the discount bin. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3818 You should have read the care tag. Its'a "no iron" suit !! 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
3819 How soon before you can mow the lawn? 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
3820 We are going to call this the new 'Kitty Litter Mat.' 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
3821 Are you trying to fit into your newly flattened organization? 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
3822 Well, Mr. Flat Stanley . . . looks like you'll be late to work again. 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
3823 I didn't mean it literally when I told him to straighten his life out 1.1685 0.04856 89 77 9 3
3824 Are you sure that you read the email on flattening management correctly? 1.1685 0.03991 89 74 15 0
3825 Are you STILL trying to press your point? 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
3826 You must not realize you’re supposed to take OFF your clothes before ironing them. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
3827 So, did you get the wrinkle out? 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
3828 I guess I should have believed you when you said you couldn't iron. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
3829 You can’t say I didn’t try. 1.1685 0.03991 89 74 15 0
3830 Men prefer the missionary position. 1.1685 0.04856 89 77 9 3
3831 So you’re flat out and can’t help with the laundry?! 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
3832 that's not how Iron Man got his powers, dear 1.1685 0.04856 89 77 9 3
3833 Do not iron on spine. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
3834 You look like you've been pressed into service. 1.1684 0.03860 95 79 16 0
3835 You need more starch in your diet. 1.1684 0.03860 95 79 16 0
3836 Honey, when I said you needed professional help, I was thinking of the cleaner. Now I’m thinking of something of something else… 1.1684 0.04650 95 82 10 3
3837 Why did you iron? I told you everything is wash and wear 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
3838 I can tell you are a flat cowboy - Howdy Pressing 1.1684 0.03860 95 79 16 0
3839 I'm not falling for it this time. Try again, John. 1.1684 0.03860 95 79 16 0
3840 I started reading Flat Stanley. 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
3841 Thank God,you finally decided to iron out your issues! 1.1683 0.03997 101 85 15 1
3842 This is not what I meant when I said you should iron out some issues, and look at you, flat on your back! 1.1683 0.03997 101 85 15 1
3843 A little too ironic? Yeah, I really do think. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3844 That's wool, you know. I hope you remembered to use low heat and lots of steam! 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
3845 I think we overdid the fabric softener. But he sure smells good! 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
3846 Honey, tell me where to blow to reinflate, and let me do the ironing. 1.1667 0.03950 90 75 15 0
3847 I didn't mean 'iron out your problems' literally. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
3848 How ironic! I was about to press that suit. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
3849 Not to worry, he is practicing to be the iron man 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
3850 Men must learn to do things for themselves. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
3851 Sam, really! Did you forget to take your OCD tablet this morning? It really only was a tiny crease. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3852 The doctor meant supplemental iron for your anemia...to help you feel LESS flat! 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
3853 That is why some people use starch. 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
3854 I told you the first step was to take yourself OUT of the suit before you ironed it. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
3855 Can’t you iron things out like everybody else? 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
3856 Are you warm enough now? 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3857 There are still some wrinkles in your forehead. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
3858 This new hot stone massage with ironing fad did not impress me either. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
3859 You just want me to play with you. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
3860 Maybe some spray starch will straighten you out. 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
3861 what did you do iron yourself 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
3862 B Flat? 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
3863 When I asked you to straighten out,this is not what I meant! 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3864 Sorry, hon, it's still your turn to fold. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3865 Is this your idea of an 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
3866 I said, "march it!" not "starch it." 1.1667 0.03961 102 86 15 1
3867 Oh good! Looks like you have ironed out your problems" 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
3868 Less of the Iron Man comments from you. 1.1667 0.04424 102 88 11 3
3869 I’ll ask the neighbor kid to mow the lawn. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3870 This is the opposite of an Iron Man champion. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
3871 You have got to stop watching THE MASK!!! 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
3872 Your friends are wrong, I only literally 'walk all over you'. 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
3873 If this is your idea of drip-dry we we should have a little talk. 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
3874 I think I used too much starch. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3875 We still need to iron out a few things! 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
3876 Read the label. It says "do not iron while wearing." 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
3877 Glad we were able to iron out our differences. 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
3878 Yes, now your abs really are flat as a pancake. 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
3879 It looks like your diet is going well, dear. 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
3880 Harold, I told you not to use the Permanent Press feature. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
3881 Don't you dare fold up just because you've gotten flattened!" 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
3882 I see you have taken this flat Stanley thing quite literally. 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
3883 That’s not going to iron out our differences. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3884 Soooo...this is your solution to save on dry cleaning costs? Right? 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
3885 Now that suit makes you look really flat. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
3886 You're usually supposed to iron the suit *before* you put it on, genius. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3887 Next time, you should take your suit off before you iron it. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
3888 You know, this is not a requirement for living in the Flatiron District. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
3889 Didn't I tell you not to skip the starch? 1.1667 0.04263 108 93 12 3
3890 There will always be wrinkles in life. Can you walk the dog? 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
3891 You see! If you hang things up the moment the dryer stops you don't really need to iron. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
3892 I told you not to use the high setting on the iron. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
3893 I tried to tell him to use the iron and not the mangle. 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
3894 ironman don't look so good 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
3895 I told you not to watch that silly YouTube video on ironing your suit while you're wearing it." 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
3896 I didn't know you were that hard pressed! 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
3897 I liked it better when you were wasting away in margaritaville 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
3898 Yes, I know I told you to straighten yourself out. 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
3899 Hi honey, I just ironed out all my kinks! 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
3900 You know they have pills for an iron deficiency. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3901 I'm not buying this "Salvador Delta Variant" 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
3902 And all this time I assumed you were trying to become an actual 3-dimensional person. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
3903 Honey, I think you need more starch in your diet. 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
3904 I told you not to ball yourself up before bed. 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
3905 Starch first, then press. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3906 He’s got a serious iron deficiency 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
3907 Well I suppose that is one way to iron out your issues. 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
3908 Why didn’t you just use the steamer? 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
3909 Now you can put it on a hanger, inside the closet… 1.1667 0.03924 114 97 15 2
3910 Look kitty Daddy has ironed himself while ironing his suit again 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
3911 Where do we send Flat Stanley now” 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
3912 I told you to start with the trousers 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
3913 You seriously never heard the term 'stuffed shirt' before? 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
3914 Stanley -- I think I'll stick to keto 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
3915 Me when my mom tells me to be straight: 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
3916 Botox would have been less painful! 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
3917 When you said you were “Flat out” again, I didn’t take you seriously ! 1.1648 0.03911 91 76 15 0
3918 Having him channel Dali instead of Hieronymus Bosch is actually quite an improvement. 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
3919 Did you use low heat? 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
3920 If you're going to wear linen suits you have to get use to the wrinkles. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
3921 Well, this shirt isn't going to iron itself, you know? 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
3922 Look, no wrinkles! 1.1648 0.03911 91 76 15 0
3923 Honey, remember I told you to remove your clothes prior to ironing them. 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
3924 I’m flattered. 1.1648 0.03911 91 76 15 0
3925 I'm aware of your phobia of wrinkles, but this is going too far! 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
3926 Perhaps NOW you get it…welcome to menopause! 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
3927 Said he would leave me flat,and I believed him! 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
3928 Your tie doesn't match. 1.1648 0.03911 91 76 15 0
3929 Steve has entered his Flat Stanley era, should we tell the kids? 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
3930 Honey, you're supposed to take the clothes off before you iron them 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
3931 Okay, I thought you were ready to talk about social constructs... but apparently not yet. 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
3932 I'm sorry you lost, honey, but at least this time you didn't get taken to the cleaners. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
3933 Oh, the irony of it all... 1.1647 0.04047 85 71 14 0
3934 Starch! I told you to use starch to have a backbone! 1.1647 0.04047 85 71 14 0
3935 I said we'd iron things out, but I didn't mean literally. 1.1647 0.04047 85 71 14 0
3936 your supposed to take the cloth’s off when you iron. 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
3937 It should be obvious; you need more starch in your diet. 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
3938 We’ve talked about this — you said no more starch! 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
3939 I thought I loved you, but you're just another guy who wants me to straighten him out. 1.1647 0.04047 85 71 14 0
3940 This was not what I meant when I said we had pressing matters to iron out. I’m starting to think you have literal problems. 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
3941 I meant you were probably anemic; not wrinkled! 1.1647 0.04047 85 71 14 0
3942 Impressive, but I'm still not calling you 'Iron Man.' 1.1647 0.04047 85 71 14 0
3943 It just seemed easier. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
3944 Honey, I don't think this will help with your iron deficiency. 1.1647 0.04978 85 74 8 3
3945 I told him his personality was a little flat, not it’s his whole personality. 1.1647 0.04047 85 71 14 0
3946 Marvel’s Phase 4 Iron Man is not what I expected. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
3947 Honey, I told you that suit was permanent press. 1.1647 0.04047 85 71 14 0
3948 My cat rides the robot vacuum, but that's no reason to put him on your robot iron! 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
3949 If washing out the gay didn’t work, what made you think you could iron it out? 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
3950 Why did you take it so personally when I said you had a few wrinkles? 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
3951 When I said I know you're pressed for time,this is not what I meant. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
3952 Ralph, that's not what the doctor meant when he said 'you needed more iron'. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
3953 Honey, that is not what I meant by straighten up before we leave! 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
3954 He was taken to the cleaners 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
3955 You can’t iron out a flat out lie! 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
3956 That's the problem with distracted ironing. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
3957 Honey, I think we've finally ironed out our problems! 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
3958 Works better if you take 'em off first 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
3959 Honey, no amount of starch is going to help. My mother was right about you, you need to grow a spine. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
3960 That is just so ironic. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
3961 This is as flaccid as it gets. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
3962 I told him he should put on the suit AFTER he ironed it. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
3963 Like I told you, there are many ways to iron things out 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
3964 He finally discovered the permanent press cycle 1.1646 0.05532 79 70 5 4
3965 Time to go back to Ironers Anonymous. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
3966 That's a smooth move. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
3967 This isn't what I meant by 'ironing out' our problems. 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
3968 More starch in your diet would help, too. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
3969 Jeff,you were supposed to iron the laundry! 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
3970 When I said do it yourself that’s not what I meant. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
3971 Excuse me Mittens while o slip into my ‘half the brains-double the pay’ suit. 1.1644 0.05522 73 64 6 3
3972 Ready for your first day working at the Flatiron Building? 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
3973 Forgot to use starch again!? 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
3974 You forgot to add the starch. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
3975 I flat out refuse to do any more ironing! 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
3976 supposed to read Flat Stanley to the children, not use him as a role model! 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
3977 I told you to add more starch. 1.1638 0.03861 116 99 15 2
3978 When I told you to iron,this is not what I meant!! 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
3979 You finally got yourself straightened out. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
3980 Well the permanent press worked! Iron away! 1.1633 0.03753 98 82 16 0
3981 Are you sure you want to transition to a flat man, Honey? 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
3982 I told you, it doesn't work the same on your wrinkles. 1.1630 0.03872 92 77 15 0
3983 Oh, John, you’re not just a stuffed shirt! 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
3984 Teach this in chiropractor school did they? 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
3985 See, honey? I told you I'm no good at laundry. Better if you do it. 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
3986 I don’t think this is the way to iron out your problems. 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
3987 I thought I told you, starched. 1.1630 0.03872 92 77 15 0
3988 Are you pressed for time? I’d like to iron some things out. 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
3989 There are better ways to moisturize, dear. 1.1630 0.03872 92 77 15 0
3990 Heavy starch or light? 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
3991 Not exactly what I meant when I said “iron your own suit”.. 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
3992 We've got more pressing issues than just getting the wrinkles out of your suit. 1.1630 0.04955 92 81 7 4
3993 Honey, you’ll be late for work! I told you that you’d be pressed for time! 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
3994 Flat Stanley gets a job. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
3995 Yes, very efficient dear. 1.1628 0.04004 86 72 14 0
3996 The cat still doesn't want to sit on your lap. 1.1628 0.04924 86 75 8 3
3997 Be careful getting in the elevator today! 1.1628 0.04924 86 75 8 3
3998 Wow. You are really getting into your new job at the bookmark factory. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
3999 Flat schmat, get off the board, it’s the dog’s turn. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4000 That’s not what I meant when I asked for a flat white. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4001 I know I said we needed to "iron some things out", but c'mon! 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4002 There, that should get you thru the day. Keep a stiff upper lip. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4003 How was your meeting with the press? 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
4004 This is not what I meant when I told you we just need to iron a few things out. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
4005 Babe, I said, "flat iron your hair..." 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
4006 I see you're ready to travel now, Stanley. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4007 For the last time, I am telling you to stop reading the "do it yourself" books late at night. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4008 While you’re at it, can you iron out a few other wrinkles, dear? 1.1628 0.04004 86 72 14 0
4009 I meant, metaphorically. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4010 I should have been more clear about, ‘Going on-line.’ 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4011 I warned you about Don Martinizing. 1.1628 0.04004 86 72 14 0
4012 Gee, when you said you were feeling a little flat, this is not what I expected! 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4013 Your boss told you to iron out the details - to flesh it out. This seems like quite the misunderstanding. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
4014 It’s not THAT pressing of a matter. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
4015 And with the lipstick gone, now we hang him. 1.1625 0.05169 80 70 7 3
4016 You're losing a lot of weight 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4017 I've repaired your car 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4018 You've taken this environmentalism stuff too far by not taking the suit to the dry cleaner. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4019 Áine I'm flat out at work lately how about you cut me some slack? 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4020 You'll bend over backwards to make excuses for having sex with the iron, but your excuses won't make me forget you forgot that we promised each other we'd have a a threesome the vacuum. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4021 No creases! 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
4022 So, this is how you become an Ironman? 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4023 That's NOT what I meant when I said 'we should iron out our differences'! 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4024 Are you certain you understand the concept of self-cleaning fabric? 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4025 Look...you're wrong....wrinkles are good! 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
4026 When I said you had a flat personality,I was being ironic. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4027 Julian, you need to eat something; you're skin and bones! 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4028 My mother said you were too thorough. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4029 I'm sorry, but we're out of spray starch. 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
4030 Honey, you’ll never be smooth. But I still love you. 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
4031 Your personality is a little bit flat. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4032 Time to roll it up Stanley, it's been a long day 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4033 That's not what I meant. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4034 OK. So you found a way to get rid of a beer belly without dieting. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4035 Please give me the iron back, i figured out how to iron your forehead. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4036 When I said, Sure, go ahead and do the Iron Man, that's not exactly what I had in mind. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4037 Honey, I got famous! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4038 Oh, so you really are feeling pressed. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4039 That is not what I meant when I asked you to lay it out for me" 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4040 How are you feeling about your return to office? 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4041 This isn’t what I meant when I told you to do things around the house. 1.1619 0.04088 105 90 13 2
4042 It's not the starch. It's because you don't have a backbone. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
4043 Why can't you just use your other hand? 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
4044 I don't think that's what your parole officer meant when she said you need to go straight. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
4045 O.K. I get that you're pressed -- but it's all your own doing. 1.1616 0.03986 99 84 14 1
4046 Did you do it again Stanley? 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
4047 You need to straiten yourself out. 1.1616 0.03718 99 83 16 0
4048 I warned you, don't iron permanent-press. 1.1616 0.03986 99 84 14 1
4049 How many times are you going to do this? Just quit already. -Alicia Chinatomby, Los Angeles, CA 1.1616 0.03718 99 83 16 0
4050 I said, Don’t forget to take the suit off first’ moron! 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
4051 You have always been smooth enough for an important interview. You may have overdone it this time. 1.1613 0.03835 93 78 15 0
4052 Impressed with yourself again I see. It’s not as flattering as you think. 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
4053 That's taking "weaponized incompetence" a little too far, don't you think? 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
4054 Okay,Mr. Charades,when I asked what was wrong,you could have just said you 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4055 Well, I can see how your New Yorker obit might call you Iron Man. But how would you feel if it was ‘digital-only’? 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
4056 I told you that would happen if you tried to iron your suit while wearing it. 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
4057 You're supposed to take it off before you press out the wrinkles 1.1609 0.03962 87 73 14 0
4058 My therapist told me not to marry Flat Stanley. 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
4059 I warned you about the side effects of Ozempic, but you wanted eternal youth... 1.1609 0.05137 87 77 6 4
4060 Is that good enough for you? 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
4061 When I told you to stiffen up, I meant that you should apply starch not eat more starch. 1.1609 0.03962 87 73 14 0
4062 No, honey, I'm not im-pressed. 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
4063 Dear, we’ve been through this. You have to pay for a ticket, even if you can fit inside my carry-on. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4064 It’s no use, Roger, I’m immune to your flattery 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
4065 When I said you've got to get it ironed out, I was speaking metaphorically! 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
4066 I know you never read directions, but I thought you’d know to press your suit BEFORE you get dressed. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4067 I've told you, "Never use the linen setting!" 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4068 You haven't trained for the Ironman before, have you? 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
4069 Remember?!…business casual! 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
4070 Not what I meant by let's iron things out. 1.1609 0.03962 87 73 14 0
4071 That softener are really good! 1.1609 0.03962 87 73 14 0
4072 I think some atomic habits need not be adopted. 1.1609 0.03962 87 73 14 0
4073 You should think about cutting down on all the starch. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4074 Well, you said you wanted your suit pressed. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4075 You're overdoing it again, Irv. I told you, that's permanent press. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4076 OK, so now you carefully do the plackets before you do the flat parts 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4077 That's one way to get him to fold you in to the important meetings. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4078 We can iron this out later, Fred. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4079 Celiac makes starching a lot more difficult. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4080 Mr. Johnson,the suit was wash and wear. No ironing necessary. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4081 What? My tag says iron after washing. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4082 Talk about getting a real 'pressing' issue! 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4083 What did you do that for? I wanted you to get a flat iron steak for dinner! 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4084 Honey! You ironed yourself again... you missed your head though. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4085 You’ve been acting kinda flat lately. Maybe you should let out some steam. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4086 Stanley, I told you I'd iron your suit. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4087 wrinkle free, i hotly wait for you. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4088 Your boss may have been onto something when he said you were too stiff. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4089 That colour is still a bit flat. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4090 Okay! I appreciate the irony, must you always be so literal. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4091 This is not what I meant when I told you to straighten yourself out. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4092 Don't worry, I will get this ironed out in no time! 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4093 You should have listened when I told you that you were using way too much starch 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4094 No, Steve, I DON'T think this is what the Ironman competition is really all about. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4095 It’s the new Botox model by Dyson 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4096 Looks like Daddy's flat on his back again. He should never have an iron in his hand again. 1.1604 0.03581 106 89 17 0
4097 Who do you think you are...George Clooney? 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
4098 I said iron yourself,really? 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
4099 Wow, those are sharp lines. 1.1600 0.03949 100 85 14 1
4100 I told you to get permanent press! 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
4101 That works for you, but I prefer dieting 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4102 Stanley! This has GOT to stop! 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
4103 Let me get this straight... 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4104 I know you were steaming mad, but I think you took it too far! 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
4105 Oh Preston, I am fairly certain your career coach encouraged you to "DRESS for success"... 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4106 I didn’t know you were this steamed about the wrinkles in your suit. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
4107 I said starch, not stretch. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4108 I appreciate that you’re making an effort Salvador, but I’m still leaving. And I’m taking the cat. 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
4109 When I said "let's iron this out" , I didn't mean literally! 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
4110 When you said you're flat out at work... 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
4111 When you're done with that, will you be the laundry? 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
4112 Have you considered yoga? 1.1596 0.04855 94 83 7 4
4113 Face it, Stanley. You're not a kid anymore. You'll never be that flat again. 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
4114 Honey, what did we say about TikTok challenges, it’s for spying on people! 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
4115 I told you we should repair the tumble dryer. 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
4116 You know, there are better ways to slim down! 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
4117 Well, it goes without saying that you’ve ironed out most of the problems yourself, but we may have a few wrinkles to go 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
4118 You’re not going to smooth out our problems that way. 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
4119 Okay, you proved it works. But I still think liposuction is the way to go. 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
4120 Next time, remove your suit before you iron it!! 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
4121 You are supposed to remove your clothes before flattening yourself. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
4122 Oh sweetie. I’m so sorry. I forgot to tell you. 1.1591 0.03921 88 74 14 0
4123 I told you, Flat Stanley is for schoolkids! 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4124 I told you, you shouldn't cut out all starches. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4125 Daddy finally found a way to look really slim 1.1591 0.03921 88 74 14 0
4126 Tough day at work dear? 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
4127 Botox really would be a lot easier 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4128 Why don't you believe me when I tell you that you're not saving any time by not taking them off first! 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
4129 Well, that’s impressive. 1.1591 0.04818 88 77 8 3
4130 I'm pretty sure the label says, "Dry Clean Only!" 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4131 Why do you do this to yourself? 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
4132 I could call 911... or, we could try using some spray starch. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
4133 Now that's dedication to the sport of kite-flying. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4134 See? you were flat out wrong! I win ! 😊 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4135 Once again, it’s not self-MAID….. 1.1589 0.03791 107 91 15 1
4136 Ryan, is this the way you’re going to starch your morning? 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
4137 Our differences require a lawyer Bob, not an iron. 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
4138 This. This is why my Mother doesn't like you. 1.1585 0.04058 82 69 13 0
4139 Why this fixation with Robert Downey Jr.? 1.1585 0.04058 82 69 13 0
4140 Iron all you want, honey. The wrinkles come with AGE. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4141 He asked for a rush job 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
4142 Starch, quick 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
4143 (WIFE) Honey! What are you doing? ( HUSBAND) I tried too be flexible, and do my own laundry...now I'm pressed for time. 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
4144 …and how much time did you save by doing this? 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4145 I told you it wasn't so easy" 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4146 Procrastinating again, Joe? Yesterday it was ‘tie up loose ends’!Today it is ‘iron out the wrinkles’! What will it be tomorrow? 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
4147 Don't get up--you'll wrinkle your suit. 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
4148 I want a divorce. 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
4149 You need to leave now if you don’t want to be late for the Avengers audition 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
4150 Ironed myself in my sleep again 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
4151 How about we iron things out at home? 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
4152 Are you gonna shower with your clothes next? 1.1584 0.04610 101 89 8 4
4153 Thanks for trying to iron out our issues. 1.1584 0.04390 101 88 10 3
4154 Hey, you said to skip the all the "minor" details. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4155 I suppose we could mail you somewhere exotic. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
4156 I told you. You can't iron with your clothes on. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
4157 This is what happens when you set the dryer to permanent press 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4158 Is this what you mean when you told me that you were flat broke. 1.1579 0.03761 95 80 15 0
4159 Arnold! Now I understand your pressing emergency! 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4160 Yes, darling, now you are my Ironman. Lucky me. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4161 I’m worried you have an iron deficiency. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4162 I said WE had to iron some things out. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
4163 Oh geez, Art. You're not going to another flat-Earthers meeting, are you? 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4164 Moronic white guy badly failing at a simple household task? Must be a tv commercial. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
4165 You’re taking this flat-earther thing a little too far. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4166 I said iron the suit but not with you in it! 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4167 You have to try to stop reliving childhood trauma, Stanley. 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
4168 Airline will refund only if bicycle pump and cabin pressurization fails. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
4169 Starts with B? Broke? Flat broke? 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4170 Cut the crap Leon, pretending you don't know how to iron won't get you a reprieve from your responsibility! 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
4171 What did I say about intermittent fasting while you iron. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
4172 Next time, 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
4173 Jesus, Honey. I said, “lets iron out the kinks.” You’ve taken ego-deflation to a whole ‘nother dimension!” 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4174 Impressive, wouldn't you say. 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
4175 You seem a little flat today. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4176 You'll still be a feminist even if I do the ironing. 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
4177 Oh dear, He's pressing himself again at work 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
4178 Persistence of stupidity 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
4179 Interesting, but I'll just stick with Botox. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4180 You hot head, I told you to use the low setting! Now stiff upper lip and go make me breakfast! 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
4181 First, we take them off 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4182 I told you kitty, the world is flat! 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
4183 You didn't read the instructions again, did you. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4184 When I said we needed to iron some things out I didn't mean like this. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4185 you said you were "flat out busy" but honey, this seems extreme 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4186 So what happened to "If you want something done right, do it yourself."? 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
4187 Can you still fold yourself? 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
4188 When I said that I was too busy and you should iron yourself, that's not what I meant. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
4189 Well, I told you I would take care of it! 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4190 I said ‘Press IT yourself.’ “ 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4191 You used too much starch. 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
4192 I must get you to a depressing chamber. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
4193 You A..hole! You're lucky this is only a cartoon! 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4194 That’s not what I meant by “ironing out our problems” and you are way too literal for me. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4195 Did you have to use ALL the starch? 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4196 Yes, yes, “irony”. I get it. But have you done my shirts? 1.1571 0.05623 70 62 5 3
4197 That's not what I meant by ironing our differences out! 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4198 Is living on the Iron Building affecting you? 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4199 I'm supposed to be impressed? 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4200 I meant the wrinkles in your birthday suit. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4201 I guess I shouldn’t have told you I like superhero types 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4202 I told you this Laundry Room is unbearably hot! 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4203 After three years of telework, how should I know if you did it right? 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4204 I thought you were gonna take a steam. 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
4205 Mother’s visit is no reason to become so steamed. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4206 I told you not to use the steam. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4207 Check your penis. It’s always wrinkled.” 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4208 It's customary to remove the clothes before ironing. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4209 Maybe that isn't what he meant by "iron things out." 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
4210 They did say the salesman would be coming with the stand purchase 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4211 Ironing you out IS my Kink. 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
4212 I told you to be careful with the steam setting. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4213 Not again,Salvador. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4214 Need to add more starch next time. Iron is not enough. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4215 Let’s work on ironing out our differences, Harry, after you work on growing a spine. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4216 I guess you didn’t hear me say that I’d pay for a locksmith. 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
4217 ‘ I can still see a few wrinkles in our relationship’ 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
4218 I don't think that's where Ironman's stamina comes from. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4219 I think you went overboard on the starch. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4220 Ironing out your problems at work? 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
4221 DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DID IT BUT IT'S A GRET JOB ! 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
4222 All I said was flattery will get you anywhere... 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4223 This is just flat out wrong. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4224 I'll get away with it. I'll tell the police the truth—I thought you were an empty suit. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4225 Stanley, I know being flat is your thing. But it doesn’t have to be your ONLY thing. 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
4226 Irony of being a husband 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4227 Thanks for the help Honey. You look flat out ! 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4228 „George, its not the kind of IRON-MAN I had in mind” 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
4229 I'm not im-pressed Reed. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4230 Now is there space for me in your life?! 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
4231 I told you it wouldn’t save time! 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
4232 REMOVE SUIT BEFORE IRONING. Did you forget to read the label? 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
4233 I guess he really wanted sharp creases, no wrinkles, for his big meeting! 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
4234 What's that you're holding? 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
4235 Is this because you're anemic? 1.1562 0.03725 96 81 15 0
4236 Is this what they taught you in the Flat Iron district? 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
4237 He's always been im'pressed' with himself 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
4238 You did it again, you forgot to press the pleats! 1.1558 0.05250 77 68 6 3
4239 Now we're both flat. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
4240 If you quit using so much starch you could get up. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4241 Your Mother is on the way over & it sounds like she needs a strong drink 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4242 Now that we’ve ironed out our differences, your office called, you have a meeting in 10 minutes, 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4243 I thought I should iron out my issues first. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4244 "I'm sorry your presentation fell flat, but it's not worth being depressed." 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
4245 Don't you think there might be another way for us to iron out our differences?" 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4246 Steve, I understand you're depressed, but playing Charades is not the best way to communicate it. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4247 Will you still do the folding? 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4248 Crease or no crease? 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4249 Stop being so self-ironic! 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4250 Okay, okay, I'm sorry I said you were washed up. 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4251 You should have stopped with Colonics." Aimee Wing Los Alamitos, CA 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
4252 Where to first, Stanley? 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4253 Where did put the starch? 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4254 Ironically, this causes a wrinkle in space-time. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
4255 That was one of those annoying solicitors on the phone. Where were we? 1.1556 0.03842 90 76 14 0
4256 When your boss calls you a wet blanket, I don’t think you go all in. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
4257 Let’s iron out the details of how this happened. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
4258 Oh I'm sure you can iron that suit by yourself. You just need to use both hands and feet and remain flexible. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
4259 You shouldn't have used the steam setting. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
4260 Yeah, looks smooth enough to me. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
4261 No starch, right? Sumie Jones Albany, CA 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
4262 Only time will tell. 1.1556 0.04975 90 80 6 4
4263 You said you were in a hurry! 1.1556 0.03842 90 76 14 0
4264 Let’s try your little blue pill. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
4265 I thought you could do it by yourself. 1.1556 0.03842 90 76 14 0
4266 Just how the heck did you manage that? 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
4267 Martin!…I’ve only been gone for one hour and you’ve managed to martinize yourself. 1.1556 0.03842 90 76 14 0
4268 Well he was on my ‘to do’ list. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
4269 I meant “shake hands.” 1.1553 0.04310 103 90 10 3
4270 He thought it would be sharp to look flat 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4271 It was my turn to do the ironing today. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4272 And so how do you plan to put the bones back *in*? 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4273 When I said "let off steam" and "iron our our differences", I didn't mean literally. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4274 I am working on it... 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4275 Not what our therapist meant when she said we had thing to iron out 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4276 Sorry, I’ve been flat out 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4277 Next step Linguine 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
4278 Stop lying around - my mother is coming to visit and that's final. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4279 So you're the problem that needed ironing out. 1.1548 0.03970 84 71 13 0
4280 So--Iron Man or Mr Fantastic? 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4281 I see you've discovered the new "steam roller" setting! 1.1548 0.03970 84 71 13 0
4282 "Cartoonist to go to therapy, or trial? " 1.1548 0.03970 84 71 13 0
4283 First you wash, then you dry, then you iron, then you wear. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4284 I thought iron man was a superhero... 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4285 I don’t think your needs are that pressing. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4286 Honey, at least you didn't iron the kids. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
4287 Look, it's Drip Dry Danny waiting to be ironed. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4288 Honey, it’s a steam iron, not a flat iron. 1.1548 0.03970 84 71 13 0
4289 This does not count as being flat out… 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4290 Honey, I appreciate your enthusiastic effort, but that's not what they mean by "self-ironing" shirt. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
4291 An iron tablet would be so much easier. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4292 Thanks for offering to flat iron for me! 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4293 We usually take our clothing off before we iron it. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4294 Flat broke!" to Jerome Powell? I don't think he'll get it. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4295 We're rehearsing for the MRI. 1.1548 0.04936 84 74 7 3
4296 Oh Sweetie, I don’t think that’s what they mean by Iron Man. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4297 Don’t worry, he’s just ironing out his problems again. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
4298 So what was your pressing problem? 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4299 Babe, when I said let's iron out our differences -- I was thinking more along the lines of healthier communication. 1.1548 0.03970 84 71 13 0
4300 This is not what I meant when I said, "Suit yourself. We'll iron it all out." 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4301 When you said you were pressed, I thought you meant for time. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
4302 I thought you were speaking figuratively when you said you 'had to iron out some personal issues.' 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
4303 The lapel crease needs a little more work..... 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
4304 We don't have time for this Sal. 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
4305 Do you think this will help you fit in the new org chart? 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
4306 I was talking about your singing! 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4307 Fold up! 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
4308 That’s why you had rice and pasta at dinner 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4309 Thanks for straightening things out for me 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4310 You need to add starch 1.1538 0.03803 91 77 14 0
4311 I hope you're not expecting me to hang you. 1.1538 0.03563 117 100 16 1
4312 I'm just followed the Tide. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4313 So you didn't hear me saying you get out of the suit before ironing? 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4314 Yeah, your stomach is flat but you're iron deficient. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4315 You're taking irony to new places. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
4316 When I told you I wished you were more like Iron Man, I meant the other kind of iron. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
4317 Yes, I am iron man. 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
4318 I told you to DO the laundry, NOT BE the laundry. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4319 What she suggested was that we try and iron this out together 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4320 I said get the creases---not the Bejeezus--out. 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
4321 I See a Wrinkle Here 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4322 I meant I want hot Iron Man as in Robert Downey Jr. 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
4323 I thought your name was Aaron, not Iron 1.1538 0.03803 91 77 14 0
4324 Next time read the directions on the softener. 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
4325 You're supposed to take the clothes off, Randall! 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4326 I think you're taking the concept of "ironing out our differences" too literally. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4327 That's why they call it the world's oldest profession! 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4328 Clearly, your mother was old-school. 1.1529 0.04881 85 75 7 3
4329 Oh Bob, did you really think you could do Pilates at home on your own? 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4330 Try to keep a stiff upper lip. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
4331 Hmph! I've heard of a flat-ass but never a flat-man! 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
4332 The blood has gone to your head again? 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4333 And this is why I insist on doing my own laundry. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
4334 Yes, you look younger! 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4335 So, this is how I find out Tony Starch’s secret identity? 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
4336 Who locked you in the dryer this time? 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4337 You have got to get off that high starch diet! 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
4338 He’s a method actor so this is how he prepares for his Iron Man audition 1.1529 0.03927 85 72 13 0
4339 OK, OK, I'll get a longer ironing board! 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4340 I'm guessing your presentation will be a little flat today 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4341 Well! Finally got on BOARD to help with the housework huh? 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4342 That's not what I meant when I said I wanted you to be an Ironman. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4343 Introducing "The Sliming Iron" use twice a day for such sharp looks 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4344 You got that straight! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4345 You’ve got a lot to iron out 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4346 I said we need to iron things out, not you out. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4347 I think it’s time you lay off the starches. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4348 I told you Yoga wasn’t easy. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4349 I was feeling a little bloated. 1.1524 0.04010 105 91 12 2
4350 Darling, wrinkle-free only applies to fabrics. Not you. 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
4351 Fred, you never listen! I said take off your clothes BEFORE you iron them! 1.1522 0.03765 92 78 14 0
4352 I told you not to copy Salvado Dalí at the iron table 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
4353 When I t 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
4354 Have you thought about a gym membership? 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
4355 Now you know what it feels like. 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
4356 We have a pressing issue to discuss. 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
4357 I asked you to let me do it. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
4358 Harold, I said get your FACTS straight! 1.1522 0.03765 92 78 14 0
4359 This is not what I meant when I said “we are good, but you need to iron out the kinks” 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
4360 I wanted the wash set for permanent press....not you. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4361 A pressing engagement? Seriously? 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
4362 That's not what I meant by "iron flat." 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
4363 This is your inversion table? 1.1519 0.05431 79 71 4 4
4364 You could just taken Ozempic. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4365 You just read Flat Stanley again didn't yah? 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4366 I think you should work with a trainer. This isn't what they mean by benching 160. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
4367 honey did you forget to take off your suit again 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4368 Now that's a novel way of ending a heated argument. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4369 Roll on your side, and re-do those pleats. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
4370 To be honest, I preferred you upright with with a few wrinkles. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4371 What don’t you get about dry clean only?” Ronald Hoffman NY, NY Ronaldhoffman334@gmail.co 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
4372 there is nothing you can right! 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4373 Sweetie, didn’t I warn you about ironing your clothes while wearing them? 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
4374 You’re right, the iron works great, but as I’ve said, we already own one and don’t need another, no matter how great the demonstration. 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
4375 When the simulation glitches 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4376 That's right, honey. You're the Henry Ford of... whatever this is. 1.1519 0.05431 79 71 4 4
4377 I told you, I really am happy with our marriage. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
4378 So is this magical realism or just irony! 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
4379 Is this what you meant when you said you were pressed for time? 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
4380 I've got no idea what to do other than get the starch. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
4381 No wrinkles! So what's the problem? 1.1512 0.03885 86 73 13 0
4382 Okay, I guess so, as long as you always iron along the seems. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
4383 I like a man who does things for himself 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
4384 Didn’t save any time leaving them on, did you? 1.1512 0.05103 86 77 5 4
4385 We're all pressed for time, honey, but let me help you with the ironing. 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
4386 Your new job has taken all the starch out of you. 1.1512 0.03885 86 73 13 0
4387 Stanley, you know to use a steamer. 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
4388 Is this really your most pressing need ' 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
4389 Mark--you gotta chill out with the Ozempic. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
4390 That’s not what I meant about ironing out our differences Bea Tusiani, New York, NY 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
4391 Flat Stanley 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
4392 Cat’s afraid he may be next. 1.1512 0.04827 86 76 7 3
4393 No, I don’t like your new “skinny” look! 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
4394 He said, "My Mother never taught me how to iron", and I said, "Just do it". 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
4395 You're taking "fold after ironing" too literally. 1.1512 0.03885 86 73 13 0
4396 just ironing out my few details 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
4397 I said, "Not to use the flat iron...." 1.1509 0.04195 106 93 10 3
4398 I guess I better hang you out to dry. 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
4399 Just on what page of the Flatiron Office Building manual does it say this?" 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
4400 You're so literal. All I said was, 'Be less starchy.' 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
4401 Going back into the office has me pressed to the limit. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
4402 Wouldn't it have been easier to just to hang out in the bathroom with the shower running? 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
4403 So you so liked "Death of a Salesman"? 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
4404 Yes, you look less stiff, but don’t you think it’s just a little too whippy and flat. 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
4405 When I said we could iron things out, I didn't think you would take me literally. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
4406 If I told you once, I've told you a thousand times, flattery will get you nowhere. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
4407 Set the dryer on de-wrinkle for two minutes and you'll come out fine 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
4408 Does this mean you’ll give up your membership in the Flat Earth Society? 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
4409 The effects should wear off in five minutes. 1.1505 0.03728 93 79 14 0
4410 Ned, you're supposed to take the shirt off before you iron it! 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
4411 Maybe this will teach you to iron your own shirts. 1.1505 0.03728 93 79 14 0
4412 I thought I’ll strike the iron while it’s hot but I clearly have a bad iron. 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
4413 Please, stop with the hacks and go back to the office. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
4414 That's not a good way to iron a few things out. 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
4415 Sure the marraige had problems, but I never thought we'd iron them out THIS way! 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
4416 Gerald, you lie like a rug - you told me you would finish the folding! 1.1500 0.05366 80 72 4 4
4417 This isn't what I meant when I said you should loosen up. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
4418 Who are you trying to impress this time? 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
4419 Relax. Think of the iron and the dryer as one. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
4420 Sorry,it said ten minutes for Al dente. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
4421 Stanley, why do you insist on being so flat? 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
4422 Training for the ironman? 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
4423 The only iron he knows how to use is a golf club. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
4424 I offered to do it for you, but you said you'd rather iron yourself. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
4425 I should have known when you said that you had pressing matters to attend to. 1.1500 0.03589 100 85 15 0
4426 That's flat out stupid 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
4427 This isn't what your boss meant when he said he wanted Ironmen. 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
4428 This is your life coach’s solution to work putting you through the wringer? 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
4429 The pink panther was special because it walked, not because it ironed itself. 1.1500 0.05063 80 71 6 3
4430 Hey Slim! How you hangin’? 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
4431 I'm telling you, this is NOT the Slim Fast Diet Plan we discussed! 1.1495 0.03710 107 92 14 1
4432 I'm not a culture fit but can still slide under the door. 1.1494 0.03844 87 74 13 0
4433 Are you pressing your idea of irony? 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
4434 Damn, that’s hot (the iron).” 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
4435 You pressed your luck once too often. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
4436 I have some anti-aging lotion you should try. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
4437 Need a little starch? 1.1494 0.03844 87 74 13 0
4438 you didn't have to iron your shoes, dear. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
4439 I’ve never seen an iron that didn’t require a plug in. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
4440 Yes I can see the crease and no this does not get you out of dinner with my parents. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
4441 I said "irony," not "iron thee." 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
4442 Smooth move. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
4443 A normal husband would just tell his wife he’s been working flat out. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
4444 You do realize I said “irony is dead” - yes? 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
4445 Well I AM impressed. Very impressed. But you missed a few wrinkles on your face. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
4446 Double it & give it to the next person. 1.1494 0.03844 87 74 13 0
4447 I think you might be exagerating with the efficiency on this Bill 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
4448 This is NOT what I told you to do! 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
4449 Please don't tell me you used the permanent press setting. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
4450 Are you trying to impress me or are you really just steamed? 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
4451 No PRESSure 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
4452 You’d be hard-pressed to find a better partner. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
4453 But what you gain in efficiency is lost by not feeling the out of body experience. 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
4454 You know Fred, I would of much preferred your shape when you got out of the dryer. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
4455 I knew you were pressed for time, but this is a bit much 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
4456 Maybe you should learn to iron your own clothes next time. 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
4457 Iron him out. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
4458 Taking time to blow off steam has really reduced your wrinkles. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
4459 It's flat-out ironic that he hates doing the laundry. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
4460 I said my hero was Iron Man, not Ironed Man. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
4461 Oh, spare me the irony! 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
4462 When you are done ironing, clean the litter box, take out the garbage, fix the leak in the roof, ... 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
4463 You're not the only one pressed for time, Harold. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
4464 I know your boss deflated your ego, but at least you can help with the laundry. 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
4465 That's not my idea of pressing the issue. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
4466 I told you you had an iron deficiency. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
4467 I'm no longer participating in your fad diets. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
4468 Honey, maybe this is why you're flailing at work. 1.1486 0.05333 74 66 5 3
4469 Stanley, you scare the cat when you wear the suit you're ironing! 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
4470 Baby, you're being a diva! My dad said your character IN THE PLAY was two dimensional. 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
4471 Finally decided to iron out those flaws? 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
4472 Frankly Joe, I know you're a perfectionist but I don't think the job interviewer would have minded a wrinkle. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
4473 I’m sure you thought it would help, but it’s still the same you, without wrinkles 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
4474 Waldo, I can still see you. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4475 Actually, why don't you go ahead and throw that suit out? 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4476 That's not what "flat iron" means 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4477 Stanley, you’re going to be late for work. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
4478 I told you to get a non-iron suit! 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4479 I think you need a little more starch ! 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
4480 Don’t you think you’ve taken this ‘reducing my carbon footprint’ thing too far? 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4481 Honey, you’re flat out hot. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4482 I got one word for you - starch 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4483 The Dr. should have taken the time to explain what “low on iron “ meant. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4484 When the Doctor said you could use more iron he meant vitamins" 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4485 Honey, when is your pressing engagement again? 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4486 Well done Mr. Smooth! Any chance the rest of the wash looks that good? 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4487 Bored? 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4488 I told him to stop at the eyebrows. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4489 This would've been unnecessary if you'd used the Permanent Press cycle. 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
4490 Just because you’re feeling deflated doesn’t mean I’ll do your ironing. 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
4491 I said "it", not "you". 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
4492 That's what happens when you eat just that Keto diet stuff; go starch yourself. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4493 That’s not how a flatiron is supposed to work 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
4494 You are supposed to iron your clothes before wearing them… 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
4495 Honey, I discovered a new Flat Earth Theory podcast on the way home today! 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4496 After we tend to your 3rd degree burns, I'm going to need you to tackle the delicates. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
4497 Honey, can you flip me over? I’m done on this side. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
4498 No, still won't do it for you... 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
4499 John, you really need to buy a second suit...and use a dry cleaner! 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
4500 I told you to use steam, didn’t I? 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
4501 I know you've got a flat personality, but this is ridiculous! 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
4502 You don't need to be that straight and narrow 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
4503 I told you to be like Ironman not ironed man 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
4504 I see you got the job at the Flat Iron Building! 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
4505 Well I'm glad we've finally ironed this out. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
4506 A prime example of a mad scientist! 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
4507 That is such a flat out lie! 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
4508 Wow, you’re lying flat now. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
4509 you’re taking this weaponized incompetence a little too far 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
4510 Why don't you just stick to the Triathlon? 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
4511 I think I’ve got a tapeworm 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
4512 I never thought you’d leave me flat. 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
4513 I was talking about the unwanted wrinkles on your soul. 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
4514 Have you ironed yourself out yet? 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
4515 You obviously misunderstood the concept of an Ironman Challenge. 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
4516 Quit pretending you got run over by the chore wheel, John. 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
4517 Honey, next time use less starch. 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
4518 'Sliding under a door' is not a superpower Iron Man 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
4519 Stanley! You've gone too far for our daughter's class project. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
4520 Yikes, was that starch gluten-free? 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
4521 You’ve never heard of Botox? 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
4522 Well, honey, if you were pressed for time you should have just said something… 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
4523 There will be no wrinkles in this marriage. 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
4524 Straighten yourself out already ! 1.1471 0.03524 102 87 15 0
4525 It's the latest self-relaxation technique. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
4526 Are we writing a song now?"Because yes, every girl's flat out crazy about a sharp dressed man." 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
4527 No such thing as iron-and-wear, Tom 1.1471 0.04038 102 89 11 2
4528 That's your solution to ' I seriously need to lose weight' 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
4529 You really need to decompress. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
4530 I know we’re getting older, but I didn’t mean you need to iron out ALL the wrinkles. 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
4531 This can’t be what they meant by flattening the hierarchy. 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
4532 I can smell your cunt! 1.1467 0.05265 75 67 5 3
4533 I don’t think this will improve your iron deficiency 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
4534 Mister! Wash and wear rarely needs ironing! 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
4535 You're lucky you didn't break your glasses 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
4536 I told you to use my plastic surgeon to remove your wrinkles 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
4537 I think you took getting out the wrinkles too seriously!!! 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
4538 That’s no way to iron out your problems baby! 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
4539 Yeah, I suppose that's ironic, in an ironic sorta way. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
4540 Only the shirt is meant to be self ironing! Nico Gatti Roaf 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
4541 I liked you better when you were stiff as a board! 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
4542 Sweetie, I fold. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
4543 Wrinkles are inevitable sweetheart, get over it. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
4544 No need to iron, Harry. The label said Wash and Wear. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
4545 I said *don’t* flatter yourself.” (* = italics 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
4546 That’s not what meant when I said white washing. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
4547 Hey, this is a private residence, man. 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
4548 Are you flat out refusing to help with the laundry? 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
4549 No, it's not ironic. It's just dumb. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
4550 Starch and backbone are different,dear. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
4551 Honey,you 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
4552 What do you mean your answer is a flat no? 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
4553 It's self-ironing. 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
4554 I said "You do you", not "No creases". 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
4555 Mother always said I should have married Permanent Press 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
4556 But that tie doesn't match your outfit. 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
4557 I know I said you needed a bit more iron in your diet but this is ridiculous 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
4558 I just knew that you would be able to straighten yourself out. 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
4559 That’s not what Dr. Moore meant by an iron deficiency. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
4560 Good. Now we'll throw you in the spin cycle to fluff you up. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
4561 What's so pressing that you don't have time to feed the dog? 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
4562 How's that new ironing app going? 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
4563 You've had your backbone removed and ironed out all traces of your individual humanity. I think you're ready for your first day in Congress! 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
4564 We said we would go as Catwoman and BATman, not Iron Man! 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
4565 Stanley, you can’t travel ALL the time! 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
4566 Ugh. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
4567 This isn't what I had in mind when I asked you to straighten out your kinks! 1.1461 0.03765 89 76 13 0
4568 Not quite. 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
4569 ack! my husband ironed himself and im standing next to a cat 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
4570 That's your idea of Iron Man cosplay? 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
4571 I would at least change the tie. 1.1461 0.03765 89 76 13 0
4572 Close your eyes. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
4573 You know, if you just used the dryer, you wouldn't have to iron your clean clothes. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
4574 you need to take your clothes off first Phil.... 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
4575 This is why I said we should give up on ironing 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
4576 Excuse me? You thought it would make you less flaccid? 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
4577 Ron, tell me your name without telling me your name 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
4578 This is the not way to deal with Sunday Blues 1.1461 0.03765 89 76 13 0
4579 I told you, NOT "Relaxed." 1.1456 0.04232 103 91 9 3
4580 What took you so long? 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
4581 Iron out the problem" I sai 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
4582 Your Tinder profile said "Permanent Press", what other secrets are you hiding? 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4583 His offer to iron out his problems turned out to be a problem. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4584 Iron Man? 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4585 But you were the one who insisted on heavy starch. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4586 Looks like you got all your wrinkles ironed out. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4587 When I said 'straighten up before you leave', I meant the living room. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4588 How is the low profile at the office working out?" 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
4589 .Of course i believe you. I can see that you're depressed. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4590 No, Morris, this is NOT ironic. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4591 I said dressing well and self ESTEEM go hand-in-hand, Stanley. This is flat-out crazy. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
4592 I know you want to impress your flat earther son, but this is just pure irony. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
4593 Before you ask for that raise today, you need to put some starch in your shorts 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
4594 Honey, I know you say I always just point out what you did wrong when you help with the chores, but... 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
4595 We could use a little more inflation. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
4596 You shouldn't have listened to them when they called you a "suit". 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
4597 I know you wee pressed for time, but this is ridiculous. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
4598 His grandfather was the inspiration for the flatiron building." 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
4599 I said “No iron.” not “Self iron.” 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
4600 Oh; and you've never been pressed for time? 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
4601 Ironing yourself doesn't mean ironing your self! 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
4602 I'll call and cancel your 'Dancing with the Stars' audition for this evening. 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
4603 I told you not to use too much starch 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
4604 you gotta know when to hold em' know when to fold em' 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
4605 You ironed yourself and changed your name to Tony Starch for a more heroic business presentation?” 🦸🏻‍♂ 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
4606 That's not what I meant when I said Iron Man role-play, but I guess Mr. Fantastic would do too. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
4607 I get so tired of that damfool trick! 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
4608 I just said your scrotum looked wrinkled, you didn't need to do your whole body. 1.1446 0.04889 83 74 6 3
4609 too much time working in the flatiron building 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
4610 When your boss said you are a little one-dimensional, I don't think that's what he meant. 1.1446 0.04889 83 74 6 3
4611 Better hurry Don, the bus comes by in two minutes flat. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
4612 Ironing Bored!! 1.1446 0.04889 83 74 6 3
4613 I knew Iron Man was an action film,but I never expected anything like this! 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
4614 This is not how we iron out our differences. 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
4615 This isn’t what I meant when I said ‘Iron out your own problems’ 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
4616 Glad we ironed out all the details 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
4617 Next time take your clothes off before ironing them. 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
4618 My God, Stanley!! You're a fraud! The whole world believes you are flat. Well your little scheme is a secret no more! 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
4619 You've got to stop ironing your underwear. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
4620 When you said that you were knocked flat on your back, you should've been more specific. 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
4621 I thought I told you to use starch. 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
4622 I thought you prided yourself on being permanent-press... 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
4623 I know you feel flat but you look great. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
4624 Don't you DARE tell me to fish your wallet out of your pocket! 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
4625 I’m glad we’ve ironed out our differences! 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
4626 Hey it's a really good excuse to not go to work. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
4627 Well, he’s definitely no Iron Man that’s for sure 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
4628 I had some pressing problems 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
4629 Who said that will cure flatulence? 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
4630 I see that your ADHD has put you in a pickle again. 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
4631 This is the exact opposite of ironing out a dating profile. 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
4632 I told you. Easy on the starch! 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
4633 Dr. Phil said this might help. 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
4634 You think you used enough starch? 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
4635 I didn’t want to wake you… 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
4636 When I said I wished you were well-starched, I didn't mean this. 1.1444 0.03726 90 77 13 0
4637 And if I wanted a new refrigerater you'd be a puddle? 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
4638 Even if it is cheaper, I’m still doing the Botox. 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
4639 too much starch again, okay I'll put you back in dayer to decompress. 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
4640 So the real irony here is even starch cant build better backbones for RuPubs 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
4641 This isn’t what I meant by ‘looking sharp’. 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
4642 I said we could iron this out between us. And as usual you have to be a Clown Show Off . . . 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
4643 You should have listened to the Dr. when he said you have an Iron deficiency. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4644 This is not what I thought you meant when you said you wanted to be the next Iron Man. 1.1429 0.04833 84 75 6 3
4645 That's not what it meant by "self steaming." 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
4646 When’s the last time you inhaled? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4647 It's not exactly what I meant when I said you needed to straighten yourself out. 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
4648 Sorry, but I'm sending you back. I ordered the Traditional Fit No Iron Husband from Lands' End. 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
4649 Bring Flat Stanley to work", not "Be Flat Stanley at work". 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4650 Yes I do like a flat white coffee but that’s not how I like my men! 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4651 Andy Borowitz, did you flatten yourself? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4652 I must have pressed the wrinkle free option incorrectly.. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4653 There's no need to fold—just hang it in the closet. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
4654 Well that’s not exactly what I meant by, “Just iron yourself for once!” 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4655 It's the clothes, George, not you! 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
4656 I appreciate the export, but you’re confusing Mr. Fantastic and Iron Man. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4657 I understand you have curly hair all over your body. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4658 Have you tried botox? 1.1429 0.03689 91 78 13 0
4659 OK, I get it, the iron works. Still, I want a new one. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
4660 That's not what I meant by getting more iron. 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
4661 I am not putting you in my carry on to save a few bucks 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4662 You are supposed to take the suit off before you iron it... 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
4663 There are much easier ways to flatten your stomach. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
4664 Okay, I'll iron your clothes. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4665 You're taking this flat Earth thing a little too far. 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
4666 Under these circumstances you'll be hard-pressed to get to work on time. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
4667 So, today I'm the Iron Lady. Next time I'll take you to the cleaners! 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4668 Honey, please practice your down ward facing cat somewhere else 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
4669 It's Elon Musk's new,'Hands-free' Iron. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4670 ...so when they said were locking the door so that you could not slide in late anymore you did this to prove them wrong? 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
4671 So you said, “Let’s iron things out.” 1.1429 0.04833 84 75 6 3
4672 You weren't supposed to put it on the flat iron setting! 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
4673 Stanley, I am tired of staying home while you go everywhere! 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
4674 Not less “carbs,” specifically you need less starch. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
4675 I just asked you nicely to iron out your issue … you don’t need to be so deflated. 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
4676 So, is this what you mean by pressing 60? 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
4677 Maybe a steamer can get the wrinkles out? 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
4678 ahahah...ahaAHAHA... AHAHHHAHAAHAHAAAHAHAHA YOU DUMB FUCK JERRY 1.1429 0.05493 70 63 4 3
4679 Honey we’re adults, we don’t quiet quit our jobs, we look inward and try to iron out our issues. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
4680 who are you & why are you in my home ? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4681 And I thought eggs were getting expensive 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
4682 And here I thought your yoga class would help you become less-intense. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
4683 You used to be fat. How ironic is that? 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
4684 I was just sick and tired of waiting for him to iron out all the wrinkles! 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
4685 Again, you don;'t look fat in that suit. 1.1413 0.03652 92 79 13 0
4686 We get it. You’re bored. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
4687 I'm guessing your Robotics Manual didn't include the chapter "Ironing For Dummies" 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
4688 I admit it's a drastic solution, but when I wear this to work, I can afford the fancy cat food you like. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
4689 Well it’s better for the environment and our dry cleaning bills were getting too high. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
4690 As a reporter are you telling me you don't know what 'permanent press' means....? 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
4691 Starch only goes on collars. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
4692 I couldn't stop once I started. 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
4693 Histrionics were unnecessary. Twenty years as an Assistant Underwriting Manager were proof enough. 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
4694 I told you we should get a mangle. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
4695 Tell the kids I love them … and never to try and save time if they’re late for work! 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
4696 But I said that your wrinkles made you look distinguished. 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
4697 The rinse cycle was too long. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
4698 I believe that's called iron-y. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
4699 You’ll feel better once I put the stick back up your bum. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
4700 I told him to iron out the details of our date but wasn’t expecting this 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
4701 I don’t know the full origin story, but I’m sure this won’t turn you into Iron Man 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
4702 At least this is an improvement over the last time you tried it. 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
4703 That is not what I meant by ironing things out! 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
4704 Ok iron man, your suit is pressed though you forgot to steam your face! 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
4705 When I said "Iron yourself" I didn't expect you to take that literally! 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
4706 Are you sure this is what your boss meant when he said he wanted you to be his shadow? 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
4707 Didn't I ask for starch? 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
4708 That's impressive. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
4709 POV: A man was told to contribute to the chores by ironing his own suit 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
4710 why not stop by the laundry on your way to work 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
4711 Where to, Stanley? 1.1410 0.05072 78 70 5 3
4712 Your Dad's been flat out lately. 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
4713 Where's your get-up-and-go ? 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
4714 That's not what the doctor meant when he said you needed iron. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
4715 No, this is not what I meant when I said its time for us to iron out the wrinkles in our marriage. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
4716 You really don't have to bend over backwards to help around the house 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
4717 Ok, I'll slide you under her door but I don't think it will work. In fact, you're probably going to jail. 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
4718 John, this isn't what I meant when I said I was attracted to Iron Man. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
4719 Men! They always botch household chores! 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
4720 When I told you that you needed to iron out the details, I didn't mean literally! 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
4721 Our relationship seems so one demensional. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
4722 I said go to the flat iron building 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
4723 Honey- I feel terrible for making you iron my shirts all these years. I never knew how painful it could be! 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
4724 In the future I suggest you go with stay-press. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
4725 Snuggles, he said he wanted to iron out our differences, but he was flat out of ideas on how to save our marriage. I showed him how it's done. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
4726 Well, you could always drip dry. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
4727 I appreciate you trying to do your own ironing, but perhaps we should stick to gender roles in this case. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
4728 OK Mr. Dali,now you can take a break. 1.1408 0.05418 71 64 4 3
4729 Too literal. Your trainer meant chicken and baked potatoes. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
4730 That only gets wrinkles out of clothes, Doug 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
4731 Huh I guess I was the one who to ring him out 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
4732 See? This is what happens when you give up starch. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
4733 You asked me to iron your suit. If you don’t like how I did it, do it yourself next time. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
4734 Albert, you're not Salvador Dali, the impressionist. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
4735 I told you to use starch 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
4736 Doug, you're so...", a lightbulb turn on inside Doreen. "...thin! 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
4737 You were supposed to remove your clothes before ironing them honey! 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
4738 That's not exactly what I meant when I said we needed to iron out a few things! 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
4739 When I said I wished you were more like Ironman.... 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
4740 I just told him to iron himself! 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
4741 I told you iron your shirt not your body 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
4742 When you told me they were “flattening the workforce,” I imagined something different. 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
4743 Flat Stanley returns at last! 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
4744 Cheaper than Botox. 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
4745 We’ve ironed out most of our problems 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
4746 It's the triathlete kind that I find attractive. 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
4747 I made your favorite dessert, installed a new bathroom faucet, had the cat groomed, and painted a rainbow mural on the kitchen wall. Aren’t you totally impressed? 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
4748 I know you were trying to help, but this really puts a wrinkle in our plans. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
4749 These new Flat Earth Society uniforms are a bit on the nose, Ned. 1.1395 0.04726 86 77 6 3
4750 I just said: Irony can't kill you! 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
4751 This new bench press iron workout is flat out fabulous 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
4752 Well Bobo, it looks like his boss really does knock the starch out of him. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
4753 Honey, that's not going to deal with your iron deficiency. 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
4754 Oh honey, you missed a couple on your forehead. 1.1392 0.05324 79 72 3 4
4755 I only said you were boring, not a flat-as-a-board, empty suit. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
4756 It’s “ironing board”, not “ironing on-board”. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
4757 At least there are no wrinkles now. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
4758 See Harold, this is why you shouldn’t iron your clothes while chewing gum. 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
4759 No seriously - you thought it would all come out in the wash? 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
4760 Your no starch diet seems to be working, dear. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
4761 We're all out of spray starch. 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
4762 No, Frederik. That’s not what I meant when I said that you’ll have to catch the bus to work in seconds flat.” 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
4763 I suppose you think this will iron our differences out. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
4764 So that’s why you have a flat affect. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
4765 No hon, I said "You need to iron IT out yourself." 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
4766 Iron deficiency? Fixed it! 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
4767 He needs to go under doors. Everybody's got a thing. 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
4768 I still think that the requirements for joining the anti -wrinkle club are a bit excessive 1.1392 0.05010 79 71 5 3
4769 And this is what you thought ‘hang to dry’ meant? 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
4770 If you want to be taller, why didn't you just get some elevator shoes? 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
4771 I have to say I''m flattened by the irony... 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
4772 This is not what I meant when I said you need to iron yourself. 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
4773 The Dry Cleaner said he can get to you by Thursday if I drop you off today. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
4774 George, that's not what I meant when I said that I want you to be Iron-Man. 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
4775 That's what happens when you're in such a hurry you don't have your morning coffee. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
4776 New! Amazing self-pressing app 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
4777 OK, now try the suit on again. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
4778 So this is how you iron out your problems? 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
4779 Honey, I didn't mean "flat dry" literally. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
4780 I know I said you needed to straighten yourself out... 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
4781 That only takes care of one of our differences. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
4782 I told you to lay off those starchy foods. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
4783 Stanley, you can’t undo this. 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
4784 Oh, honey, you’re always thinking of me 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
4785 Don’t think you can get out of ironing by saying “you’re not good at it”. 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
4786 When you said you were going to touch up your suit, I assumed you’d take it off… 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
4787 Next time we have Chinese, just eat some rice. 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
4788 Can you see how ironic he is Kitty? 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
4789 Did you forget to spray starch again, honey? 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
4790 just when I thought you couldn't get anymore DEPESSing 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
4791 I ironed your 'normal human' disguise. 1.1379 0.04674 87 78 6 3
4792 Sorry honey,I didn’t realize you were so flat out! 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
4793 I told you not to use the high setting. 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
4794 Oh honey, I think becoming an Ironman takes less ironing and a little more blood, sweat, and tears. 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
4795 You are either bored or depressed....... 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
4796 I warned you about too much iron. 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
4797 I told him what would happen if he didn 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
4798 Ok, learned helplessness wins again, Stan. I'll iron your suit for you. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
4799 Hon, this is not how to get a washboard stomach. 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
4800 I can’t tell if you are hot, or I am just bored. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
4801 I am done trying to iron out your problems! 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
4802 Well, at least you got most of the wrinkles out. 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
4803 I am also pressed for time. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
4804 Flat Stanley called - he wants his gig back. 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
4805 No,I meant we should iron our issues out together. 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
4806 When I said we should iron out our difficulties. this isn't what I meant." 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
4807 Stanley, it was cute when you were a kid… but this is getting out of hand. 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
4808 I think you're not using enough starch. 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
4809 You really put the I in iron, honey. 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
4810 You still have one -- on the top of your head. 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
4811 The instructions said "Dry Clean Only." 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
4812 I thought we agreed to work on our wrinkles together. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
4813 I think you need more starch in your diet. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
4814 I stand here ironing. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
4815 Honey, you're taking this Iron Man thing a little too far. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
4816 Starch Enemies 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
4817 You said to iron the clothes. You never said anything about taking them off. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
4818 This is a picture of my accountant, attempting to iron out the flat tax for me 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
4819 No Bob, this is not a cure for iron deficiency. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
4820 I honestly thought calling a locksmith would be easier but this will work. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
4821 I think you should consider adding some starch back into your diet. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
4822 Sorry, that was your wash and wear suit after all. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
4823 I did not mean it literally when I said we should try to iron out our problems. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
4824 I get it that your weight loss strategy works, but how do we copyright it? 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
4825 This isn’t what I meant by “iron out the details” Jim. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
4826 Seriously Chris, we just talked about weaponized incompetence. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
4827 Gee! Why do you have to do everything flat out?! 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
4828 There might be better ways to iron out your flaws 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
4829 Okay you’ve ironed out your problems I see.. 1.1368 0.03545 95 82 13 0
4830 You asked me if you could do your own ironing. 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
4831 There must be a better way to be Iron Man for Halloween. 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
4832 If you had not used so much starch, you'd be able to get up. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4833 This is exactly why I use dry cleaning 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4834 'When he said you were rough around the edges, you didn't have to take it literally' 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
4835 Are you flat lining again? 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
4836 That's not what I meant by, "Look sharp for your interview." 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
4837 This look falls flat for me. 1.1364 0.03679 88 76 12 0
4838 This is not what I had in mind when I asked for help around the house. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
4839 I don't know - he said something about experiencing the highest form of flattery. 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
4840 straighten up! 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
4841 I don't care if you're keto. You need starch. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
4842 All right I’ll finish ironing. Next time get up earlier if you want to get to the office before everybody! 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
4843 Makes sense. After all, the iron did costs $465.00. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
4844 Honey, I'm sorry, but that is not a medically responsible way to lose those unwanted inches. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
4845 It's about time you iron things out. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
4846 Isn't this how you use it? 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
4847 Look Stanley, this Iron Man fantasy of yours is just not paying the bills,you need another plan. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
4848 Anything else you need ironed right away? 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
4849 Honey, I just cleared your bank account. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
4850 You told me to iron out my issues…? 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
4851 Honey, I heard you the first time…no need to re-pleat yourself. 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
4852 Thought it was time to iron out all the kinks. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
4853 Alright Paul, we get it. I’ll take it to the cleaners next time. 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
4854 He’s read Margaret Atwood’s The Edible Woman one too many times. 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
4855 I know Sparky, I know. But wearing this thing is the only way I can get a promotion AND have decent pockets! 1.1354 0.03810 96 84 11 1
4856 Doc said my Affect was flat and that the meds would iron it out for me. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
4857 Honey, I told you to use the steam function to get rid of your wrinkles. 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
4858 Ironside was a TV show, you've got it all wrong. 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
4859 I thought you meant you were “bored.” 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
4860 A little bent out of shape, hon? 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
4861 I'll feed the cat - your look to be flat out with the ironing. 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
4862 I'm happy to call 911, but first can we pitch on how your mom will say this was my fault? 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
4863 To put it flatly and more accurately, I said, "WE need to iron things out"! 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
4864 It's alright dear, after a long day ironing helps daddy decompress. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
4865 Marie Kondo called, she wants her iron back. 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
4866 So you do know how to iron. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
4867 Stop now, Craig. Brains are supposed to be wrinkled. 1.1351 0.05207 74 67 4 3
4868 You're right...you do need Botox. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
4869 Duh. Only face remain. 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
4870 They’re still going to know you’re hungover, hun. 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
4871 Well, we know it isn’t suicide because of the awkward placement of the weapon in his hand—not to mention that he couldn’t iron worth a darn. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
4872 I know you're job is sucking the life out of you but this is taking it too far! 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
4873 It's good you ironed that out. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
4874 Um…perhaps a little too analog and, dare I say, derivative? Marvel’s taking a pass. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
4875 A little starch might help. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
4876 I would have gotten you a heavier security blanket, Carl. 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
4877 So this, is my audacity costume 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
4878 (Mine is a caption for Audrey’s caption) she’s really had it this time… 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
4879 Get yourself ironed out. Then we'll talk about children. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
4880 Your mother told me you were “Dry Clean Only” - now see what you’ve done! 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
4881 No irony here! 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
4882 I told him to get “no iron” shirts but he wouldn’t listen. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
4883 Men and their work! We’ll let me tell you he’s not the only one who’s flat out working. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
4884 That’s not a ‘small wrinkle’… 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
4885 Keep going. 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
4886 You want me to fold you - put you in a large envelope and send you to your dead mother? 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
4887 Always impatient. He couldn’t wait for the spin cycle to end. 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
4888 Mr. Kramer, you're supposed to take the suit off before you press it. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
4889 Yep. Bored AND depressed. 1.1341 0.04835 82 74 5 3
4890 Your fresh pressed and ready for success. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
4891 Honey, when I told you that were starting to get "a little thick around the middle" and suggested that you should start doing something to remedy the problem, this is NOT what I meant !" 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
4892 I told you not to fix that flat by yourself. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
4893 I was trying to save time. Don't be so clothes-minded. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
4894 There are healthier ways to thin out, Bob. 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
4895 I refuse to make a joke when you're trying to improve yourself. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
4896 I think the doctor meant iron pills 1.1340 0.03477 97 84 13 0
4897 I told you not to buy an iron at the Museum gift shop. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
4898 It’s right in the instructions: “don’t iron shirt while wearing it”. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4899 Even flat Stanley took his clothes off before he ironed. 1.1333 0.03603 90 78 12 0
4900 " This isn't a hangout for the hung up. 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
4901 Stop stressing out" does not mean"Flatten your Affect," Honey!! 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
4902 Ironing yourself won't make you 6ft, John 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
4903 When you're done, can you help me throw my clothes into the washing machine? 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
4904 I know your New Yorker cartoon caption has been rejected again, but that's no reason to iron yourself. 1.1333 0.04777 75 67 6 2
4905 When I said you need to lose a little weight from your stomach. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
4906 Your father has ironed out all the kinks." Cal Bellamy Munster, I 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
4907 Iron it out? You are flat out overboard. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
4908 That’s not what they meant by “iron on.” 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
4909 When I said you needed more iron in your diet I didn't mean this. 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
4910 Mine: This is what you meant by “going flat out for that promotion”? 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
4911 Take some time off. You're pressing too hard. 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
4912 and if this doesn't cure your vertigo, we'll try spinning you in the dryer. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
4913 And you are the guy who said how unnecessary it was for the carryout box label that said "remove pizza from box before eating" . 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
4914 Hung out with vampires again? 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
4915 When I told you to get help for your depression, this is not what I had in mind 1.1327 0.03444 98 85 13 0
4916 Clearly you can’t die. So maybe it’s time to start living. 1.1327 0.03444 98 85 13 0
4917 Good thing I didn't ask you to clean the cat litter. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
4918 When I suggested that you should try 'pumping some iron', this really isn't what I had in mind. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4919 Coffee? Tea? Light starch? 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4920 This magnifier isn't working. I still don't have aswers.. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4921 He took steamrolling to the next level. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4922 Honey, have you seen my mother's blouse? 1.1325 0.04779 83 75 5 3
4923 Don't tell me you're flat-out tired, it's your turn! 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
4924 Ironed while wearing and found out. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4925 I told him he was permanent press! 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4926 By far the spin cycle was the worst part. 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
4927 I guess if you're going to put the washer-dryer combination straddling a corner in the living room, you might as well press your suit while wearing it. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4928 I still see a crease or two. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
4929 Will you please hurry? I've got ironing to do, too. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4930 It’s typical for cruise ships. 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
4931 I told him not to switch to the generic Viagra. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
4932 'Well, now you've done it. You have to plug it in first." 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
4933 Iron John,my foot!! 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
4934 You know, there are plenty of other anti wrinkle treatments that are much less drastic. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
4935 I thought the suit was sta-pressed fabric... 1.1319 0.03566 91 79 12 0
4936 Leonard, that's not efficiency. That's flat-out ridiculous. 1.1319 0.03566 91 79 12 0
4937 You are supposed to take off your clothes first! 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
4938 C'mon, Stanley. I told you that isn't funny! 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
4939 This isn't what they meant when they said 'flatten the curve.' 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
4940 This is why I have issues with Marx’s position on division of labor. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
4941 Where did you hear “iron” in washboard abs? 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
4942 this wasnt what I meant when I said, 'to succeed you need to be a smooth talker. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
4943 Honey, I've already shown you how to make those pleats crisp...so they stand out and make a good first impression. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
4944 Stanley thought he could iron out the wrinkles while the suit was still on. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
4945 I don't think this is what the doctor meant when he said you needed more iron in your diet. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
4946 That's not what I meant by pumping iron. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
4947 This is not how to iron out your problems. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
4948 But we already have a Flat Stanley! 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
4949 Well, I guess that's one way to iron out your issues. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
4950 The keto diet usually has less iron. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
4951 You can't go out looking like that; those pants require a center crease. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
4952 George, mom told you to move out ten years ago 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
4953 Oh so this is what you meant by becoming an Iron man. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
4954 I’m going to pick up some fries. You could use some starch. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
4955 Definitely better with pleated pants! 1.1313 0.03702 99 87 11 1
4956 Ok, now, what about your face? 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
4957 I told you journalism would never be a temporary thing! 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
4958 You flat-out refused to listen when I tried to explain the settings! 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
4959 Now, you've finally done it, Harry. Still trying to prove household work can be done efficiently ?! 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
4960 I just wanted to be skinnier, Honey. 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
4961 Just because you’re wrinkle-free doesn’t mean you’re right. 1.1310 0.04724 84 76 5 3
4962 You have to quit going flat out! 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
4963 No, I still won't call you Tony Stark. 1.1310 0.04724 84 76 5 3
4964 Hmm...and they say these Wall Street guys are geniuses 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
4965 You jumped the gun, Sam. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
4966 Honey, your permanent press! 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
4967 Next time, turn off the iron all option. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
4968 ironing is not my forte 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
4969 I knew you could do it. Now stay right there until the morning. 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
4970 I didn't mean it literally when I said, Iron yourself! 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
4971 Well, you kind of get the point. 1.1304 0.03530 92 80 12 0
4972 You're so dramatic Jared. Just because I tried botox doesn't mean you need to get all of your wrinkles out too. 1.1304 0.03530 92 80 12 0
4973 Wash-and-wear refers to the material, silly. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
4974 How much starch did you use? 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
4975 I wondered what was going to happen when he bought that new AI iron. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
4976 So, when I said it would be good if you'd cotton on with ironing... 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
4977 There's a fine line between flexible and lazy, hon. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
4978 You just need a quick fluff and fold. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
4979 We’ll I hope you didn’t use starch. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
4980 I'm sorry Bob, that still doesn't prove the earth is flat! 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
4981 Dear, I know you’re nervous about going back to the office but this isn’t how you flatter them. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
4982 Being flat has its perks. Ironing out the wrinkles is not one of them. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
4983 I hope you're being ironic. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
4984 I told you flat out. Let me iron your clothes. You said no way. I said okay. Whatever suits you iron man. 1.1300 0.03667 100 88 11 1
4985 Oh gosh! We can toss you in the dryer for a quick air fluff and you'll be good as new. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
4986 I’m not buying that the iron leaves no winkles. 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
4987 Didn't I tell you to use spray starch. 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
4988 Of course. You forgot the starch!! 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
4989 I know it's complicated but Step 1 Remove suit then Step 2 Iron suit 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
4990 After you put me off for so long, I needed to press you for an answer. 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
4991 So that's your new diet trick, eh? 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
4992 Yet another of your time-saving schemes gone wrong... 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
4993 Honey! I had no idea that you were pressed for work! 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
4994 I knew that much red meat was a bad idea... too much iron. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
4995 You look a little wrinkly 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
4996 I thought this would be a fun way for the kids to find out that he didn't actually leave for cigarettes. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
4997 Well, Nick, isn't this ironic? 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
4998 Your feet have to touch the cloud when you are shooting 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
4999 I know you want to impress your boss at today’s board meeting, Sweetheart — but this is a but much! 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
5000 When you said you were pressed for time,I didn’t think you really meant it. 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
5001 That’s all well and good, but what about MY differences with YOU? 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
5002 Your kinks are permanent press; I can't iron them out! 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
5003 I thought you said this suit was wrinkle free! 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
5004 When I said we needed to iron out our differences, this wasn't what I had in mind. 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
5005 Grow up, Flat Stanley or I’m leaving you. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
5006 Your Self Ironing Suit just cannot appeal to SCOTUS 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
5007 "Honey if you wanted pancakes you should have just asked." 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
5008 The Avengers called- they want Iron Man back. 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
5009 George, this isn't going to help decrease our grocery bill. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
5010 I read about this DIY anti-aging treatment- fights wrinkles better than retinol! 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
5011 Why is everything nowadays is a pressing matter for you? 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
5012 I confirmed with the teacher. It’s just a small paper doll, Stanley. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
5013 Another pressing engagement? 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
5014 Hey, it was on Queer Eye for the Flat Guy. 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
5015 Told ya Flo, the guy's just a dumb suit. 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
5016 I was trying to teach Jim Jordan how to iron his shirts, and he threw me on the ironing board and pressed me to keep my mouth shut 1.1290 0.04385 93 84 6 3
5017 The dry cleaner was closed 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5018 It would be ironic to call you Iron Man. 1.1287 0.04142 101 91 7 3
5019 Do you want me to tell everyone that you're a flat put lying fool? 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5020 ''Good try, but I still want a divorce.'' 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5021 You know, efficiency isn’t everything. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5022 I know you're pressed for time, but this is too much. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
5023 It turns out it was a flat iron! 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
5024 Are you sure you're up for this? 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5025 When I said I wished you were thinner this isn't what I had in mind 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5026 I didn't mean it literally when I said you were flat out wrong! 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5027 OMG! What a cool way to lose weight! 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
5028 O.K., so the cost of drycleaning has gone up. But REALLY! 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5029 I told you to buy wash and wear! 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5030 I see you're taking Quija night at Mels as some kind of competition. Typical. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
5031 Your wash & wear suit plainly said to take it off before ironing. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5032 You missed the concept. Probably the irony as well. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5033 You'll never get me pregnant like that ! 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
5034 Not sure you understand the concept of the Ironman race. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5035 Hey, you're the one who wanted to iron out our problems. 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
5036 It was just an expression. Actually doing it won't solve anything. 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
5037 You're getting the hang of it, but a word of advice... 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
5038 I told you you were Dry Clean Only. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5039 I figured I would save time ironing my clothes while wearing them instead. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5040 Are you Dustin? I saw you in a show called the Lewell Brothers at the Annoyance years ago. There was a guy that looks like you and you smashed your names together, and I remember you had a song about getting down on the brown. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5041 Tell me you didn't use "permanent press!" 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5042 This is not what I meant when I said "we need to iron out our differences".. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5043 We know you'd love to be the inventor of them. 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
5044 Why do you insist on doing everything by yourself? 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
5045 Oh dear, you men never read the instructions… When it’s says ‘Do not Iron’ it really means do not iron! 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
5046 Fluffy can't do that, but I don't have to cook for her. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
5047 I told you to try, try and stop eating those pods! 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
5048 This is not quite what I meant when I said we would do better if we could be less uptight. 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
5049 That won't help with your anemia, Jeremy. 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
5050 You look like you’re flat out done. 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
5051 That’s never gonna help with YOUR wrinkles. 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
5052 You just have to accept that linen will wrinkle immediately. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5053 In my country, we call an ironing board "a burro" -- can you see why? 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
5054 I knew when you bought that suit you took the expression ‘wash and wear’ too literally. Want me to adjust the crease?” -or- “I take it back, Bob, you ARE multi-dimensional! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5055 Frank, this is not what I meant when I said I wanted a Flat White.. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5056 Couldn't you have just taken an overdose like a normal person? 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5057 I'm sure it is much cheaper than a visit to the chiropractor. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5058 That's flat-out ironic. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5059 Next time let me know beforehand that you want starch 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
5060 Wow, what setting did you use, Stupid setting? 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5061 Even if called an empty suit,you still need to take it off before ironing it! 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5062 Teach us your way to a life of bliss 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
5063 Where did you say you wanted to go to dinner? 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5064 Maybe you should’ve stuck with Paleo? 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5065 I never believed wrinkles made a man more attractive, and Stanley here agrees. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5066 This isn’t a replacement for Botox, Bryan. You still have wrinkles. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5067 I thought you had an iron deficiency … 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5068 Flat lay aesthetic 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5069 Yes, I got a cat. Why are you so pressed? 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
5070 Common, let’s iron this out… 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
5071 Congratulations! I knew you'd be able to iron yourself out. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
5072 Honey, it’s just your first wrinkle. 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
5073 Hey Flathead you still have to mop the floor but you made it easier, just slide over it for five minutes. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
5074 Your bones said dry clean only. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
5075 I told you that suit would wrinkle in the dryer. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
5076 Your shirt is still wrinkled. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
5077 I want to impress my new boss today. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
5078 I told you more starch! 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
5079 Nice try, Bob, but you’re not getting out of cleaning the litter box. 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
5080 This is what OCD can lead to. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
5081 You were right Max. I never should have trusted that on line dating site. They are such a load of hot air. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
5082 ...and this is how you burn calories. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
5083 Well thank you for trying to express yourself completely 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
5084 'Stanley Lambchop, this isn't funny anymore.' 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
5085 You’ve lost perspective… and dimension. 1.1264 0.03584 87 76 11 0
5086 What happened to the "no iron" guy I thought I married? 1.1264 0.03584 87 76 11 0
5087 You might be overprepared 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
5088 I should have just wished for Robert Downey Jr. 1.1264 0.03584 87 76 11 0
5089 He's hitchhiking out of East Palestine. 1.1264 0.03584 87 76 11 0
5090 Iron’t ya glad that we didn’t buy the deluxe iron? 1.1263 0.03739 95 84 10 1
5091 Maybe you’re right. I should have asked you to take your suit off first. 1.1263 0.03739 95 84 10 1
5092 Your wrinkle-free obsession is flat out extreme, Jeffrey. 1.1263 0.03426 95 83 12 0
5093 No more Do-It-Yourself books! 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
5094 This is an insult to iron man and life itself 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
5095 Et tu Brutu 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5096 When mother calls you "fatso" she's being ironic. 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
5097 Guys can do this too," you said 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
5098 Your iron levels seem low. 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
5099 Didn't you hear me when I explained that it was permanent press? 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
5100 Why did you forget to wash yourself before ironing?" 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
5101 How many times have I warned you about this!!! 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
5102 This does not iron out all our problems unless you do the head 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
5103 I told you the ironm was too hot! 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
5104 Good thing you're not depressed anymore! 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
5105 That's flat out the most efficient multitasking I've ever seen. 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
5106 putin is trying a new apparent suicide 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
5107 thank God he used an iron, it's much cleaner than a gun 1.1250 0.04492 80 72 6 2
5108 Stop with the daily charades. So you have a pressing engagement today. I get it. 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
5109 Make sure to ask your mother about the steam setting before using it. 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
5110 All these years I thought Flat Stanley was a fictional character. 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
5111 I said, "BEFORE you get dressed" 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5112 If pressed, I'll say you're on a fabulous diet regimen. 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
5113 Never use the flat rate 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
5114 I applaud your effort to help out, but you didn't learn a damn thing from your momma, now did you 1.1250 0.03546 88 77 11 0
5115 This is not what I meant by “Your share of the load.” We have more pressing issues! 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
5116 That thick skull of yours will never satisfy all of its pressing needs. 1.1250 0.04492 80 72 6 2
5117 I thought you knew it was a permanent press suit! 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
5118 I meant the clothes in the basket. 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
5119 I wish you would've picked Thor or The Hulk. 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
5120 When I said, “ Iron out your issues” , “ I didn’t mean yourself ” 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
5121 You always do whatever your boss says. 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
5122 Ok you don't have to iron my stuff too. 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
5123 You used too much steam. 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
5124 Yoga can be an addiction. 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
5125 Still not as hard as the swimming stage of the Iron Man competition 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
5126 You could have just tried cutting down on the cookies and ice cream. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5127 That's not what I meant when I said you should do Iron Man 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
5128 Looks like we have a bigger problem - how you take what I say so literally. 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
5129 Now that you're a flatlander can you still imagine the un-iron setting? 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5130 Flat effect and flat affect. 1.1250 0.04492 80 72 6 2
5131 I knew I should have clarified not to iron your shirt with you inside. Men 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
5132 Honey, when I said we were pressed for time this morning this is NOT what I meant 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
5133 He did say he’d give his right arm to get rid of those wrinkles. 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
5134 Don’t think you can worm your way out of this one. 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
5135 Yet another thing I catch you doing all by yourself. 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
5136 Wow! You've been working flat out 1.1237 0.03666 97 86 10 1
5137 So,you left me flat? 1.1237 0.03360 97 85 12 0
5138 De iron have meh so bazodee… de whinin’ must never stop. 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
5139 You said you needed to iron out issues 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
5140 The pants need more starching. 1.1236 0.03508 89 78 11 0
5141 If you ask me, you need to pump more iron and do less ironing. 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
5142 When I said you had some new wrinkles, you didn’t have to have a mid-life crisis! 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
5143 Hmm ... Back to air fluff? 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
5144 I told you I'd do it! 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
5145 I just think you've been taking this no starch diet a little too far, that's all. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
5146 They said he was pressed for time, but this is carrying it too fari 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
5147 Stop whining. It's your job to pick up the dry cleaning.... 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
5148 Now you really are Flat Stanley. 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
5149 on the board, just like you said 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
5150 this is not what they mean by “flat out“ 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
5151 Cleaveland, for the last time, the steamer joke is not funny! 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
5152 You know, it's not the Iron"ed" man competition, right? 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
5153 Honey,your weaponized incompetence is getting out of hand 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
5154 Gives new meaning to the term “Slip-n-Slide.” 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
5155 My doctor told me I needed more iron. 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
5156 So it’s a movie, one word, three syllables…Ironman! Nice one Bob. 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
5157 Look, all I said was that we need to straighten out some things. 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
5158 You got skunked on Wordle. No need to punish yourself. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5159 You certainly took my comment about ironing our differences, too far. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5160 I said, "Iron-ic-ally." 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5161 He’s been a bit worn out lately! 1.1233 0.04756 73 66 5 2
5162 Wait, are you pressed for time again! 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
5163 I know you're on a strict diet, but you NEED starch! 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5164 Not your fault. Iron never came with instructions to remove clothes first. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5165 No, Don, I'm still not going to call you D-Smooth. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5166 I told you not to press yourself too hard for your job. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5167 Does the label say 'permanent press'? 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5168 Well,I see you’ve gotten things all ironed out now 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
5169 Stanley, Junior’s school just called. They rescheduled Career Day and don’t need you today. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
5170 Gosh,I really stretched Myself too far 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
5171 I know they feel warm right out of the dryer, but you have to take them off before you iron them. 1.1233 0.04756 73 66 5 2
5172 Please cut down on your starches. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
5173 Not quite what I thought you meant when you said you’re working flat out. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5174 See Biscuit, I told you he'll forget to take his shoes off. 1.1233 0.05141 73 67 3 3
5175 Honey, this isn't what I thought you meant when you said you were pressed for time. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5176 Stanley, you’re going to love my sister’s mailbox. 1.1233 0.04756 73 66 5 2
5177 Tony Starch! You're ironed, man! 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
5178 Clearly, the no starch diet with the iron supplement isn't working out. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
5179 You always complained; now you're better prepared to ride the rush hour subway. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
5180 Well, you've turned yourself into an Iron Man now, but let's leave future pressing matters to Tony Stark... 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
5181 Have you tried adding some starch to your diet? 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
5182 even if their “flat tax” IS adopted, we are still liable 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
5183 Scoot up to do the pants, down to do the shoulders; you can’t have both at once. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
5184 I don't think that this is the way to iron out the kinks in your personality. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
5185 Fluffy is not impressed with these deflections from actually ironing out your interspecies trust issues. 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
5186 You told me you knew all about using it! 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
5187 ‘’Harold, when are you going to learn to stop pressing?” 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
5188 Do you remember when I tried to drive your four-on-the-floor car without asking you first? 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
5189 Superficial resolution of your issues doesn’t fly. 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
5190 It was really good of you to buy a self-pressing suit. 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
5191 So “Ironed Man” are you also a billionaire? 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
5192 I don’t think that’s what they mean by self care. 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
5193 And then he said, “What’s the big deal? Just give this a quick touch-up. I’m in a hurry.” 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
5194 Dwight Do NOT give me that flat affect !!! 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
5195 Now that, Alanis, is ironic. 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
5196 Those creases are all wrong for this outfit. 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
5197 No no no! You are supposed to use an ice cube to get out wrinkles. Irons are so 2020! 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
5198 I distinctly said 'no starch,' Sidney. 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
5199 Next time try taking the shirt off first 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
5200 When it said “self iron” it didn’t mean you do it to yourself. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5201 I should't have said "iron it yourself." 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
5202 all steamed up..? 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5203 you had something pressing to do? 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5204 Do you really think you’re the only one who’s flat out today? 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5205 This is the breaking point. You need to see a therapist about these issues. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
5206 That's not what I meant when I said get your life straight. 1.1216 0.04695 74 67 5 2
5207 Didn't you read your label? You're permanent press. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5208 This inter-dimensional relationship is just not working, honey. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5209 Men just cannot get those creases in the right places. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
5210 I told you not to hit that self-iron button! 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
5211 Ironing out our differences, wasn’t meant literally. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
5212 I told you not to play with the settings on the iron. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
5213 Well, this is one way to make sure the suit you are wearing is wrinkle free." 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5214 Honey, I told you always use low heat on synthetics. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5215 Honey — it’s iron off, put on. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
5216 Darling, yesterday my boss told me I’m flat in my pitch meetings. I couldn’t disagree more. This outta show him.” 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
5217 Are you flat out broke, or do you just have a hangover? 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5218 'You see why I prefer cats? 10 years together and I still haven't ironed out all the kinks in our relationship.' 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5219 Jerry, you know better than to iron your suit. Now look at you! . 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5220 Iron-Nick. 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
5221 The setting was "Linen"--not "Lie-in"! 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
5222 OK Jim your now 6-foot-10. But your still not going to make the NBA! 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
5223 I said , we were washed up Not laid back ✅ 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
5224 I think you have to iron your clothes before you put them on 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
5225 Frank, you shouldn't take Josie's fat-shaming jokes so seriously 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
5226 What have you been reading? That is no way to reduce belly fat. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
5227 Just because you think the earth is flat, doesn't mean you need to be. 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
5228 Well, that is not the way that I would iron your suit.you 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
5229 When I said we could Iron things out you took it a little to literal! 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
5230 Pretty good for your first try. But it works better if you take the suit off first. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
5231 You're not fat Doug, you're boring. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
5232 Why do you always forget to spray yourself with starch? 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
5233 When you told me liked to do The Ironman, I thought you were an endurance athlete—you know, running, biking, and swimming. 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
5234 I said, "We have to iron out or differences!" 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
5235 The ironing mannequin needs ironing sometimes. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
5236 I'm flat out Marjorie no more house chores for me 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
5237 And this is an example of dramatic irony. Probably too dramatic. 1.1196 0.03401 92 81 11 0
5238 It said in the care tag to lay flat after a few moments in the dryer.. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5239 Honey, that's not what I meant by ironing out our problems. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5240 Of course, you're not OK; you're white. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5241 I’m telling you, Henry, that color still doesn’t look good on you. 1.1194 0.04998 67 61 4 2
5242 No Randall. All I meant was that it’s time you consider retinol. And there’s no such thing as 110 percent! 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5243 I told you not to put it on permanent press! 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5244 I’m glad you managed to iron out the problem. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5245 I told you - we haven't had starch in years. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5246 Your low-starch diet is working.” 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5247 New low in being inept at housework. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5248 That dating app takes “ flexible” a little too literally. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5249 Should have used a bit more starch. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5250 Who told you about this wrinkle treatment? 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5251 What are you doing, darling? 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
5252 There are other ways to burn stomach fat. 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
5253 Now that you’ve ironed out your problem attitude finish the laundry. 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
5254 This isn't what Brenda from accounting meant when she told you to iron out the details. 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
5255 I can't tell; are hard-pressed or steamed over it? 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
5256 You can't expect me to hang up your clothes once you've ironed yourself into them. 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
5257 Wow,you really are made of plastic. 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
5258 Next time you're in such a hurry use more starch. 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
5259 Honey, you definitely need more starch in your diet! 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
5260 Laundry Day is always so pressing on you. 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
5261 See? I told you that you needed more starch in your diet 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
5262 I guess I misinterpreted what you meant when you said you felt permanently pressed. 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
5263 You missed a spot, there! 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
5264 I've warned you about getting too steamed 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
5265 When you told me there were some things you wanted to iron out in our relationship, I thought you meant me 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
5266 I said we'll iron out OUR marital problems. Not just yours. 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
5267 Wow, could have happened in the dryer. 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
5268 I thought I could iron things out by myself. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
5269 Is this something you also learned on TikTok? 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
5270 I don't know, I was just board! 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
5271 Isn’t it ironic? 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
5272 Guess I should have used more starch. 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
5273 Why are you always in such a hurry! 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
5274 I believe you need to take your clothes off first before you try to iron them" 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
5275 Better to get undressed first maybe??! 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
5276 You permanent press fundamentalists are not part of my aspired reference group. 1.1170 0.03660 94 84 9 1
5277 The doctor says you need more iron. 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
5278 I was going to straighten you out one way or another! 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
5279 That suit is drip dry! 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
5280 You'd better hurry. You'll be late for your interview. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
5281 So, how's your Iron Man costume coming along? 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
5282 I have two words for you. Permanent press. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
5283 So you say you are trying to look straight and narrow for your job interview 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
5284 Botox would have been better 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
5285 I applaud the effort but thinking outside the box isn’t for everyone 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
5286 He wouldn't listen to me when I kept telling him, "You're under a lot of pressure" 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
5287 You have out done yourself today. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
5288 So, you're finally fed up with being taken to the cleaners. 1.1169 0.04882 77 71 3 3
5289 I tried to take a selfie with my phone and grabbed the iron by mistake 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
5290 If you'd used the delicate setting you would have been fine. Now it's going to be a bitch to get the creases back in. 1.1163 0.04505 86 79 4 3
5291 Am I doing it right? 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
5292 That's a strange way to prove that there are only two dimensions and Einstein was wrong 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
5293 You need to take on more emotional labor in this marriage. I shouldn't have to remind you when we are out of starch. 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
5294 How is the Margaret Thatcher Yoga program going? 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
5295 No no - I said train for Ironman! 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
5296 Babe, this is not what I meant when I said Snoop's flat iron was sexy. 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
5297 I’m getting the impression that you forgot the dry cleaning. 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
5298 I thought you said today’s meeting wasn’t going to be a pressing issue? 1.1163 0.04191 86 78 6 2
5299 So, spaghetti for dinner? 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
5300 We need to review our instructions for ironing! 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
5301 Nice - You got rid of most of the wrinkles." 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
5302 Maybe I should mow the lawn this time. 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
5303 He always seems pressed for time. 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
5304 That's not what I meant about you having an iron deficiency. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
5305 A little too much starch Honeybun. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
5306 The anti-age skin cream wasn’t doing the trick, was it? 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
5307 You flatter yourself if you think this will work! 1.1158 0.03921 95 86 7 2
5308 You had only one job #trasheroNYC 1.1158 0.03300 95 84 11 0
5309 I’m just not sure flextime is right for you. 1.1154 0.04463 78 71 5 2
5310 I told you that suit-fabric was 'No-Iron'. 1.1154 0.04463 78 71 5 2
5311 Honey, I told you to get a spine last week 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
5312 The CAT scan 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
5313 It's not a desert and you're not Picasso. Iron your own damn shirt! 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
5314 Maybe you'll think twice before mentioning your flat earth theory again 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
5315 I asked for the Silver Surfer. 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
5316 That's ironic. The master of irony accidentally ironed himself. 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
5317 You’re supposed to take the suit off first dear. 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
5318 I can fix the suit but not your ego 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
5319 You’re still getting Ozempic at a flat rate? 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
5320 I told you, bad things happen when you iron a no-wrinkle suit. 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
5321 Barty, erasing all your wrinkles won't make you look younger. Besides, you deserve better than that junior position. 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
5322 Now, if I read the article correctly, do that just three times each day and you'll never get depressed anymore. 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
5323 I know all the hipsters order a flat white now, dear, but it's really not my thing. 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
5324 That isn't what I meant when I told you to throw yourself into your work. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5325 Dads flat on his back. He used the steamer on the iron but forgot to do this before he felt all warm and fuzzy in his trousers 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5326 I know I called you a square,but darling this is not how you fix that problem. 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5327 Have you been at those self-help videos again? 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5328 Can we iron this out, honey? 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5329 There's self washing and self drying but no self ironing 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5330 I told you that was wash and wear, not iron and wear. 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5331 Yet another pressing issue for my to-do list! 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5332 As I’ve been saying, YOU are the biggest problem that needs ironed out. 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5333 Things probably would be better if it weren’t for that steam roller you saw on Tuesday 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5334 I think he was a little pressed for time 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5335 Iron it yourself I says...! 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5336 Well, this is cheaper than botox. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5337 And to think you wanted the ironing chore. 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5338 On the bright side now you know how to iron and you can teach the top shelf for me. 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5339 Wow. You really are flat broke! 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5340 You misunderstood ‘pressed for time.’ 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5341 You locked yourself out again, Carl? ... "Just slip me under the door please". 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5342 You overdid the starch again! 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
5343 There’s just no use talking to you when your feeling depressed. 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
5344 I know Biden's economy is in the toilet but could you not at least pretend? 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
5345 Dear, I think one of your problems might be that you are "just flat out". 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
5346 Wow ok, I'm sorry I said you bought a crappy iron. 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
5347 You said you knew what you were doing! 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
5348 When I say "Go F yourself " I am not saying "Go Flat yourself" 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
5349 Honey, I’m not sure this is going to help with your back. 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
5350 My Turn?! Greg, when I said we have problems to iron out, this is not what I meant!” 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
5351 I am Iron Man, dun dun dunahnahnah 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
5352 not what I meant when I said “ look at it from a different perspective 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
5353 I’m *not* demanding. But honey, your head is still a bit lumpy. 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
5354 I've finally managed to iron out all the little wrinkles in your father 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
5355 The doctor said diet; d -i-e-t! 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
5356 I was going to ask him for help, but I can see he’s already pressed. 1.1134 0.03843 97 88 7 2
5357 I flat out don't understand why you did this. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
5358 Mr. Dali, you don't need to be ironed 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
5359 I wondered what that Whitewash cycle would do- I am a little disappointed you came out so wrinkly too. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
5360 You only needed to shed a few pounds not a whole dimension 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
5361 That’s not what I meant by you should start thinking straight 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
5362 Ok, but remember: objects in the overhead compartment can shift during flight. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
5363 Honey you're neat but one-dimensional. 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
5364 This from a guy who says he does help with the housework. 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
5365 Hey Fashionista: Try less starch next time for a more vertical look. 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
5366 The maid paid me back after I put red socks in the washing machine. 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
5367 What were you trying to do - slim down? 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
5368 Just because we live in Flat Rock doesn’t mean you have to be flat too! 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
5369 He was so life-like as a blow-up doll until his pants needed to be creased." Tracy Brown, San Rafael, C 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
5370 I believe we have ironed out our problems. 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
5371 He told me to iron his suit. Then he started telling me how to do it. So, I laid him out flat. 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
5372 and that's how you emasculate a man 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
5373 This is not what I meant when I told you to dress to impress. 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
5374 The label didn't say, "Remove before ironing." Call my lawyer. 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
5375 Fox News kept saying they needed Flat Stanley, where is Flat Stanley... can you call in to Tucker's show? 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
5376 I don’t think that’s what they meant when they said get skinnier. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
5377 Trying to save time now that we're back in the office again. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
5378 That's not what ironic means, you moron. 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
5379 So much for auto-pilot" Ken Sherman, kensherman&associates@gmail.com 310-704-675 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
5380 No, John, that’s not the way you prepare for the Ironman. 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
5381 Yes, you can be proud that you did it yourself already, but you should not put your costume on before you iron it. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
5382 Jeremy, what are you doing? You should be working on your stage name if you want to make it in Hollywood. Have you thought of anything yet? 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
5383 Why do you always have to look so depressing?" 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
5384 ‘Oh, you weren’t being iron-ic’ 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
5385 We need to work on communication, babe. I asked for more flattery. 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
5386 Honey, I know you like being time efficient, but… 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
5387 Thanks honey, and don't forget to pick me up from the dry cleaners later. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
5388 Your self-care commitment doesn't need to go that far. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
5389 I told you not to use steam on anything but cotton and linen! 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
5390 I know you are tired and trying to get straight, but this is ridiculous. 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
5391 Dom't forget to use the steam button to get out the wrinkles. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
5392 Yeah, I tried that on my left eye. 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
5393 This isn't what I meant when I said I was into Iron Man 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
5394 I don't think this counts as a superpower, Herb. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
5395 Can we try to iron things out between us? 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
5396 That’s what you get for ironing with prions! 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
5397 I know Downy says its fabric softeners are "Unstoppable" but this is just wrong. 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
5398 How does this happen every time you do the ironing? 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
5399 Hon, I appreciate your commitment to staying youthful, but don’t you think you’re taking this no-starch fad a smidge too far? 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
5400 —Fashion designers commit the weirdest suicides. —OMG! You are a talking cat… 1.1111 0.04662 72 66 4 2
5401 Time to put it away Miss Kitty. The cutout is scaring our guests. 1.1111 0.04662 72 66 4 2
5402 Bruce, your autoerotic pressfixiation… it’s starting to get a bit inconvenient. 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
5403 If you want to show a little backbone, wear a strapless number 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
5404 Honey, I'm sorry but the chances of you getting the job are now slim to none... 1.1099 0.03969 91 83 6 2
5405 And then he complains his presentations fall flat 1.1099 0.03297 91 81 10 0
5406 Ok fine, I’ll call your boss and tell him you’re feeling a little flat today and won’t be in. 1.1099 0.03297 91 81 10 0
5407 You've always asked me how my day went, well this is how it went today. 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
5408 Too much starch. 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
5409 At least you loose your wrinkles . 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
5410 I thought you sounded flat. 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
5411 I think that's flat enough, Stanley. 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
5412 Look honey, I’m a flat iron 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
5413 We need to iron this out together. 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5414 It'd a nice gesture but Mom doesn't really respect a starchless man. 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5415 I admire your commitment to Dalí-inspired performance art, but this is your morning to drop the kids at school. 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5416 I don't think that's how Tony Stark did it ... 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5417 Honesty Stanley, you should’ve ironed these issues out before we got married. 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
5418 No, YOU said "I'll buy the strarch." 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
5419 I'm happy to see you've ironed out all your problems. 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5420 Irony? You flatter yourself. 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
5421 So now you are pressed for time? 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5422 This is how an extra gentle man make himself hot! 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5423 That new job of yours has flattened you a lot 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5424 I don't think that's how to win the Iron Man. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5425 The irony of it all! I purchase all new permanent press clothes for you...and now look what you've done! 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5426 I’ve been taking fiber supplements but I might be low on starch. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5427 No wrinkles, but if you want to stand up, you'll need some starch. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5428 You didn't put my stuff in one permanent press, did you? 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5429 not sure you are ready to go back to the office yet 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
5430 Henry, is this what you meant when you said we could iron things out? 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
5431 Literally no foresight to realize your harebrained efficiency plan has a wrinkle in it! 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
5432 Honey,I think the steamroller already did a great job. 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
5433 Since you’re done ironing yourself, are you ready to be folded up and put in the dresser? 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
5434 Honey, this isn't what I meant, when my boss suggested you should have a lean and clean profile! 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
5435 Oh no my husband is dead! 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
5436 Honey, I've told you this before. No matter how flat you make yourself you'll never be able to fuck the the washing machine coin slot" 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
5437 Clyde, you miss understood. What I said was, 'you're impressive. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
5438 He was complaining that the laundry wasn’t getting enough starch in his shirts,but this is ridiculous. 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
5439 I get it. You like everything simple, back and white, very two-dimensional. But seriously, Peter... 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
5440 Now that looks much better. Flip over and let me how you did on the back. 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
5441 Are you hanging out with the Suedes again? 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
5442 Harry, did you ironed out all the wrinkles in your suit yet?!!! 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
5443 This was your way of losing weight? 1.1081 0.04540 74 68 4 2
5444 So happy to see you are making progress with your therapy and are starting to iron out your issues ! 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
5445 I know you're afraid of Ozempic face, but I don't think this is a better option. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
5446 Perhaps NOW you'll get that CEO job. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
5447 (Moments earlier to Amazon's AlexBot) "We'll need to iron out the kinks in your presentation before they arrive." 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
5448 Lemme guess — Ironing out the kinks in your personality? A+ for showing initiative Jerry. 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
5449 If you still don’t like my ironing, you can do it yourself! 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
5450 At least he’s no longer addicted to meth. 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
5451 Okay, fine! Botox it is then 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
5452 It's better than all those wrinkles. 1.1075 0.03230 93 83 10 0
5453 Honey,it was a figure of speech. I really didn't mean,"I'll press you for more answers!" 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
5454 I said we'd iron out the details later. LATER! 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
5455 Maybe try more starch. 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
5456 Disney called. They said they're sorry but they've already cast the new Tony Stark. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
5457 And you still need to hang the shelves in the kitchen; paint the dining room and wash the dishes before putting little Johnny jr. to bed! 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
5458 You really flat out messed that up! 1.1067 0.04482 75 69 4 2
5459 You forgot the spray starch. 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
5460 You've taken ironing to an extreme. 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
5461 If you had just asked, I could've told you that dryer sheets and skin moisturizers are the best ways to control wrinkles. 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
5462 Interesting, but how are you going to get the crease out of the pant? 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
5463 Don't bother with starch. I'm not in the mood. 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
5464 First, one takes off the tie! You know you scorched that silk tie, don't you? 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
5465 well,we all admired his perfectionism until it gets out of control 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
5466 No, it doesn't make your presentation more ironic. 1.1067 0.04482 75 69 4 2
5467 I told you to take your suit off before you iron it. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
5468 The tag says wash & wear, not iron & wear! 1.1064 0.03537 94 85 8 1
5469 Self-service does not work for household chores--that's why "Wife" is a full-time job! 1.1064 0.03197 94 84 10 0
5470 OMG I flat out forgot to tell you about the new automatic iron 1.1064 0.03537 94 85 8 1
5471 When I said Iron Man was sexy, I meant the movie. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
5472 That's not what I meant when I said I wanted an Iron Man suit. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
5473 Iron up, and fly, right. 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
5474 i said, without irony 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
5475 I’m sure we can iron this out. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
5476 Just be thankful I did not use starch. 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
5477 You're the one that wanted it done while you waited. 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
5478 I think you’re going to need a bit more starch for that big meeting today, Baba 1.1059 0.04108 85 78 5 2
5479 Ron, I think you're taking this 'dress for success' thing too far. 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
5480 That iron will not give you a backbone. You need to Man Up ! 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
5481 You've never actually seen the movie, have you? 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
5482 Shark Tank wants to know if it’s with or without steam. 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
5483 Well, I'd be pretty steamed too if I looked like that. 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
5484 Told you drip dry still works 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
5485 I see you've ironed out your weight issue. 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
5486 Ya know Phil, you often fall prey to irony when you are pressed for time. 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
5487 Inside the leopard, outside the fence” 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
5488 Why should I iron your suit when I can take it to a laundry and they have it ironed there? 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
5489 This doesn't fix anything. We still have more wrinkles to iron out before we're good. 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
5490 This is not what I meant when I asked, 'Do you like irony?' 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
5491 Its time you got Ironed out!!!! 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
5492 What, no sizing? 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
5493 Take off your shirt before you iron it, even the cat knows that! 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
5494 Spot, when they put the iron in his hand they thought it would explain a lot more than it does. 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
5495 Yes, you won the House, but you still need to grow a backbone! 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
5496 Board Dumb 1.1045 0.04819 67 62 3 2
5497 Honey, I don’t think this is what the doctor meant when he said you need more iron. 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
5498 When I told you to iron out a few issues with your attitude today,this is not what I meant. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5499 We could make a mint launching this as a new diet craze! 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5500 That's not what I meant by a flat tax. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5501 Is this funny, Dilbert? 1.1039 0.04369 77 71 4 2
5502 Sorry, not now honey. I'm flat out. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5503 OK, but it's a pretty extreme way to remember our reservation tonight at the Flat Iron Grill. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5504 Listen, Ted, whatever gripes I have with our relationship, I still say you're heck of a whiz at the trousers. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5505 The irony is that you have to use "Steam" for flatulence. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
5506 I told you ‘wrinkle-free’ was just a marketing ploy. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5507 I told your boss you were working flat out 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5508 This is not what I meant when I asked you to iron out the details of the divorce papers 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5509 Ask me later, I'm flat out at the moment. 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
5510 You said we needed to iron-out something-not straighten something out. So what's on your mind? 1.1034 0.03284 87 78 9 0
5511 Congrats on “helping with the laundry.” 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
5512 Honey, sometimes the wrinkles are worth preserving! 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
5513 You missed a spot on your tie…” 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
5514 You’re worrying too much - everyone else at the reunion has wrinkles too! 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
5515 You're sure you read the instructions right? 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
5516 Use before you wear your clothes honey! 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
5517 Ironically, nos you’re board. 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
5518 That's a flatiron mis-steak! 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
5519 Do you think because you look like Flat Stanley you can travel for free? 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
5520 When I said I’d love a flat iron, I meant for my hair!” 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
5521 Call me crazy, but I think we're being mocked. 1.1023 0.03972 88 81 5 2
5522 I said “I think we need to iron out a few things“, like you taking everything literally! 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
5523 Nice rendition. But I thought you were a little flat. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
5524 OMG. whoever heard of pressing your suit while you're wearing it - I'm calling 911 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
5525 Not necessary sir. People are permanent press. 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
5526 No, that is actually NOT what I meant when I suggested using a flat iron. 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
5527 Ronnie, honey no matter how many times you do this it's not going to turn you into Iron Man" 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
5528 I knew you're a flat Earth believer but now you are stretching it too far 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
5529 Look at me honey, I ironed my clothes for work. 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
5530 And this is why they call you Iron Will? 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
5531 Didn't I warn you that the iron was dangerous, if you had never used it before? 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
5532 Definitely better than the washing machine test 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
5533 Best thing that ever happened to Bob was when he married Cheryl. She really straightened him out. 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
5534 Now maybe you won’t be so full of yourself!” or “Now maybe you won’t be so full of yourself…housework is difficult! 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
5535 I said, "Impress yourself." 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
5536 I tried telling you that ironing is a woman's job. 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
5537 It’s Cartoon as Performance Art: He’s playing the Bored of Ironyng 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
5538 He always said, “I’ll iron things out!” 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
5539 Alanis Morissette told me it would be ironic! Don’t you think? 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
5540 Stanley, I said you were flat enough! 1.1011 0.03589 89 81 7 1
5541 Yes, Ned—I really, really think your creases are sharp enough. 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
5542 No one knows what permanent press is but it's not that. 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
5543 I'm not sure that turned out to be a time saver. 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
5544 your problems can't be ironed out so easily 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
5545 I knew we could iron this out… 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
5546 Honey, we all get some wrinkles and gray hair when we enter middle age. Don't have such a big crisis about it. 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
5547 You were supposed to iron your clothes before putting them on. 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
5548 You may want to try ironing before you don the suit 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
5549 Your compulsion for neatness has gone too far 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
5550 Flat Iron tired! 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
5551 You win. I'll order the in-home sauna 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
5552 I'm going to be working flat out next week 1.1000 0.04618 70 65 3 2
5553 Sorry, you'll have to wait. My bridge club is meeting in five minutes. 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
5554 I guess you're flat out 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5555 Don’t change yourself just to fit where you do t belong 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
5556 "Looks like you found a new way to deal with your pressing issues" 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
5557 Stanley, do we have to do this EVERY day? 1.1000 0.03551 90 82 7 1
5558 Everyone loves your relectibility. 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
5559 This isn't what I meant by getting rid of wrinkles. 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
5560 This is the only way balloon Jon, real Jon is on his way 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
5561 He needed a little straightening out. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
5562 I guess you were flat out wrong! 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
5563 If you want to be my new flatmate, we have a few more things to iron out. 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
5564 If you flatten yourself anymore, you won't even exist 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
5565 You said you wanted to look like A Salvador Dali. 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
5566 And you thought Siri could teach you how to get the wrinkles out of your suit? 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
5567 Oh, Stanly, you are taking Junior’s homework assignment way too seriously! 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
5568 The aftermath of asking if it works on my wife's wrinkles too 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
5569 I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone. 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
5570 I would say, "Let me iron out this problem," but that would take away from how neatly pressed your suit and tie are. 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
5571 WFH doesn't mean Wrinkle-Free Husband. 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
5572 That should iron out all your difficulties 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5573 I only did this because the chiropractor stopped taking our insurance, but I think it worked just as well! 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5574 This is not the way to Myrna Loy’s heart. 1.0978 0.03114 92 83 9 0
5575 This isn't really necessary for your return to full-time, in-person at the office! 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
5576 I never should have left you on the Rack to dry. 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
5577 Hey, you now the rules 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
5578 nice going” l d soderlind, Minneapolis, M 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
5579 Ironed out content 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
5580 That won't make you a smooth operator. 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
5581 It's over Stanley; you are going nowhere 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
5582 I know our budget is small but the other cartoons use steam rollers to do that. 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
5583 Thatnk you for your willingness to iron out our differences. 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
5584 I know you were put through the ringer but you don't have to go over board to iron it out. 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
5585 Honey, I think you’re overdoing it,with the starch. 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
5586 You can’t just iron out our differences. 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
5587 The washer should re-inflate you. 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
5588 I know the heat is out, but this is a bit excessive 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
5589 Wow, you really were flat out ironing 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
5590 Bored of New York, board of life 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
5591 Forgot the spray starch again? 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
5592 I said "ionic" not "ironic" 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
5593 That's not an effective diet 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
5594 You've got this. 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
5595 I told you to go easy on the steam. 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
5596 I tried to warn you that ironing is not as simple as you thought. 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
5597 Honey, its dress to impress! 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
5598 I did my best, following your sagacious counsel, and sincerely hope you no longer have iron deficiency. 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
5599 You swore you'd go flat out to please me, but of course you were just being ironic. 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
5600 Starch, I told you to use starch! 1.0959 0.03981 73 67 5 1
5601 Have you considered creating a 'wrinkle free' zone? 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
5602 Always take your pants off before ironing them. 1.0952 0.04361 63 58 4 1
5603 Honey,this is not what i meant when i said you should try and 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
5604 Honey, did you seriously think we wouldn’t see you there? 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
5605 Yes...but did you use enough starch? 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
5606 You look like America's future, thanks to Joe Biden. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
5607 If this is your new man cave honey, you better iron out the details. 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
5608 Now, I want you to do the same thing with your commitment issues—and call me when your done. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
5609 I didn't mean it that way when I called you a wet blanket. 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
5610 I washed that man right out of my hair. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
5611 There, now your appearance finally matches your personality: creaseless and flat. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
5612 Drip Dry was in the 50s now is it Self Iron? 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
5613 If you’re trying to save time in the morning, could you not try spending less time in the bathroom instead? 1.0946 0.04375 74 69 3 2
5614 Frank, you know damn well that is not what I meant when I said, ‘You better straighten up!’ 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
5615 How many times have I told you that ironing isn't necessary anymore. The pandemic killed it. 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
5616 I didn’t literally mean you have to iron out your life. 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
5617 At least he got all the wrinkles out. 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
5618 Well, how's your little shortcut working out for you? 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
5619 You put the setting on Permanent Press again didn't you? 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
5620 Just getting the wrinkles out of my personality. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
5621 When the doctor said you needed more iron I don't think that she had this in mind. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
5622 "We have more pressing concerns; we're out of cat food." 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
5623 Our permanent press accountant still needs to iron himself weekly. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
5624 No one at work believes you are flat out. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
5625 Let me know if it works on your wrinkles. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
5626 That's not what iron-on means!!! 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
5627 I told you to use a dry cleaner! 1.0930 0.03558 86 79 6 1
5628 If you didn't want to eat my cooking, you flattened out the wrong end 1.0930 0.03558 86 79 6 1
5629 This is not what I meant when I said sex was a chore 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
5630 I told him I get out of my clothes before I iron. But does he ever listen? 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
5631 Your suit didn't require pressing because it's permanent press. 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
5632 I thought you meant you were pressed for time, not time to press. 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
5633 Politically correct: I told you, you'd go flat broke investing in a dang laundromat! Politically incorrect: Ah tole ja' yuh'd go flat broke investin' in a dang londermet! 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
5634 You really have to stop watching those You Tube Tutorials! 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
5635 I don't think this is what the board meant by, "We need flatter leadership." 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
5636 Next we'll do starch 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
5637 See? Flatirony will get you nowhere. 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
5638 I know I said we could iron out our differences, but I'm keeping the cat! 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
5639 Yes, kitty - he loves his wash & wear suit sooo much & since he never takes it off, after he washed & wore it, he had to iron it - all is sooo well suited in his world (ours, too!!). 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
5640 Permanent press is a lot cooler. 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
5641 There's issues we need ironed out 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
5642 It's not my fault. He took himself to the cleaners. 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
5643 You do look more like you need a vacation now. 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
5644 I’m afraid you still have an iron deficiency. And a few wrinkles. 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
5645 Dont be dramatic- you already promised to walk the dog tonight 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
5646 See? No need for expensive creams or lotions. This is how I get rid of all my wrinkles. 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
5647 oh honey, this is not how is done 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
5648 I don't think this is what our daughter's 1st grade teacher had in mind for the "Flat Stanley" contest. 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
5649 He was just running out flat... 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
5650 are you serious? 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
5651 So, you found out it’s not wash ‘n wear? 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
5652 You: Ironing is childsplay; anyone can do it. Me: I told you it would be better to take the suit off before you ironed it. 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
5653 Honestly Bob, don’t you think you’re taking that audition for Ironman a bit too far?! 1.0897 0.04156 78 73 3 2
5654 I see your point, but I still think it would be easier to just take the shirt off 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
5655 Your mother called. She said she’s sorry but she can’t find your old Flat Stanley books. 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
5656 They will definitely recognize you now, with your mandate to return to the office. 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
5657 Nice try, old man, but that's definitely not going to get the wrinkles out of your skin. 1.0889 0.03017 90 82 8 0
5658 That is the worst Iron Man imitation I’ve ever seen! 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
5659 You think you now come across as 'transparent,' but they're gonna see right through you. 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
5660 I didn’t realize this is what you meant when you said you got ‘board’ every day 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
5661 You were right. Glad we could iron this out. 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
5662 John! Just to save on dry cleaning?! 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
5663 I went to the ER in LA after I drank hydrogen peroxide and they looked at my insurance card and then said I have to the valley or wait 6 hours and then slapped me and spit in my face before I could make a decision" 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
5664 The doctor did warn you about too much starch 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
5665 So this is the pressing matter you wanted to talk about? 1.0882 0.04559 68 64 2 2
5666 You’re getting too much iron in your diet. 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
5667 You know you can just TELL me you don’t like being kinky. 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
5668 It seems you’ve been press-ganged into having your issues ironed out, so there’s that… 1.0879 0.02985 91 83 8 0
5669 I think you've sparked enough joy. 1.0877 0.05179 57 54 1 2
5670 I was supposed to hang you out to dry first. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
5671 But sweetie, your boss has already straitjacketed you. 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
5672 What do you mean you’re trying to “iron out” your problems? 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
5673 We received our February 27 issue of the New Yorker today Feb 27 and you say the deadline for this cartoon is February 26. What is going on? We would like to make our entry for Feb 27as follows: "You know, if you sink that one, it's game over." 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
5674 I think maybe you’re getting TOO MUCH iron in your diet. Eh, Rick? Rick?! Oh god, what have you done. Talk to me. Come on, keep breathing. I’m calling 9-1-1 right now. Look at me. Don’t go to sleep. Stay with me, baby. Not like this. Not like this. 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
5675 I hope he didn’t ruin the ironing board 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
5676 We agreed when we got married, we would iron our own clothes. 1.0870 0.02954 92 84 8 0
5677 Oh no! We forgot the starch!!! 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
5678 That's not what iron clad means! 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
5679 Let me guess, you broke another heating pad? 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
5680 I think it’s time to let go of the permanent press button 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
5681 First we had the Flatiron Building: Now we have the Flatiron Man:" Vipin Bery,Toronto vipin.bery@gmail.com 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
5682 Well Bob, I guess our differences are ironed out at last. 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
5683 This is not what I meant when I suggested we iron out our differences. 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
5684 Now I see why your mother named you Details 1.0860 0.03299 93 86 6 1
5685 Honey, I told you! You have to use distilled water. 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
5686 Have you been eating starchy foods ? 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5687 I know it's your first time ironing, but you are supposed to take your clothes off first. 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
5688 Let's patent the idea! Older people especially will want to take the wrinkles out of their clothes and their bodies. 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
5689 Enough, already — I'll turn up the heat. 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
5690 Looks like I married a wrinkle free genius 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5691 Honey, that’s not the Ironman we were talking about. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5692 If I'm being totally above board, I must say that your new version of Iron Man still has a few wrinkles. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5693 Stanley, the directions said Flat! 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5694 Look, I apologize for not taking you literally when you said “I have a pressing need to look like I got hit by a bus in order to get out of that meeting!’ 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
5695 I wanted you to iron cloth not sloth 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5696 Aww honey. I know you always feel, feel so paper thin. Like a house of cards, one blow from cavin'in. #katyperry 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
5697 Im not going to forgive you ; even if you iron out your personality… 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
5698 Look's like he's run out of gas. 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
5699 Your new boss' name is Flat Stanley? 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5700 For Pete's sake James, just admit you don't know what irony is! 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5701 So,you wanna go to office today? 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5702 Well, it does make folding easier. 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5703 You can click on this caption till your finger goes numb, but you'll never see this in You Be the Judge 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5704 I believe you permanently ironed out our problems! 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5705 I'm just helping him get his story straight. 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5706 That's not what they mean by 'permanent press'! 1.0843 0.03069 83 76 7 0
5707 Marvel’s new hero: Ultra Thin Man with the magic iron! C. Tom Howes 507 Valley Road Havertown, PA 19083 610-789-3176 1.0843 0.03069 83 76 7 0
5708 No one is interested in writers writing about writers anxiety over writing 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5709 Thank you, Dear, but I'm just about done. 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5710 They told me I needed to be smooth around girls. 1.0833 0.03598 60 55 5 0
5711 When I mentioned a flat iron, I was talking about my hair! 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5712 Honey, there are better ways to slim your waistline. 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
5713 We're out of starch. Could you, like, slither? 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
5714 You forgot the spray starch again 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
5715 How about some flat bread before work? 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5716 Too much fabric softener, not enough starch this time" Carl Yaffe, Rockville, Marylan 1.0824 0.02999 85 78 7 0
5717 You're right, we do have a communication problem... when I said you should toughen-up like iron man, I meant the Marvel character! 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5718 Oh, you didn't need to do all that. What I meant to say was that with a little work we could iron things out •between• us. But hey, now you're just flat and uninteresting. I'm outa here, and I'm taking the cat. 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
5719 We gotta iron this out. 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5720 Didn't I tell you to buy permanent press instead? 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
5721 Self-ironing Flat Stanley 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5722 We had to iron out a wrinkle in some pressing business. 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
5723 Seriously? This does not mean you get out of ironing in the future 1.0814 0.02966 86 79 7 0
5724 Okay, you were right — ironing your suit while you were wearing it was flat-out a bad idea… 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
5725 Your imperfections needed ironing out. 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
5726 You shouldn’t have cut out starch completely. 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
5727 Now that’s a flat-out situation you’ve gotten yourself into. 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
5728 Did you just watch a DIY tutorial on flattening the irony" 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
5729 I think you should've Googled 'Iron Man' before starting a workout regimen. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5730 You manage to get out of absolutely everything! 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5731 Flat out of excuses, Ted made an effort to straighten up around the house. In starch contrast to his normal behavior, the iron-y was not lost on Susan...or Whiskers. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5732 Straighten up, Honey, you still have to do the dishes 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
5733 I get it Lloyd your mom taught you how to iron anything…now hand it over..! 1.0794 0.04112 63 59 3 1
5734 You ARE broke. I had no idea. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5735 I don’t think that’s what your boss meant by a lean workforce. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5736 Flattery won't get you out of the laundry. 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
5737 How's the high and dry life going? 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
5738 To submit your caption, leave it as a comment below, with the hashtag 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
5739 Aye! Ron? Ouck! 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
5740 Thank God you did not checked yourself at the dry cleaners where the presses are much bigger 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
5741 I said you needed more iron in your first, not ironing! 1.0781 0.04049 64 60 3 1
5742 I meant iron yourself ironically 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
5743 I hate to press you on this, but what the hell are you doing? 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
5744 Really? Your trying to be Iron Man! 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
5745 Fake it till you make it they said. 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
5746 I told you I did not want to iron your shirt! 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
5747 Is this really what you though I meant when I told you to iron out your flaws? 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
5748 I knew I should never have trusted you with the iron. 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
5749 No, I don't think this is how Burning Man got started. 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
5750 Honey, before you start yelling at me again, I have already straightened everything. 1.0758 0.03929 66 62 3 1
5751 I told you I would never hang you out to dry! 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
5752 When you said you'd iron yourself, I was skeptical. 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
5753 Maybe the cat can lend you some static cling 1.0758 0.03929 66 62 3 1
5754 I just don't know honey, maybe you should do it next time just to make sure it's perfect. 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
5755 Talk to me, what've you got against dry cleaners? 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
5756 Your mother did not do it like that at home. 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
5757 You can take away my house, all my tricks and toys. One thing you can't take away - "I'M IRON MAN!" 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
5758 Your being dramatic……mailing yourself to the meeting is NOT better than flying commercially! 1.0746 0.03871 67 63 3 1
5759 So when I said the spray starch is next to the cat food you weren't listening again? 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
5760 I hate it when you smile at me with your forehead furrows. Needs starch if you want to add depth to our relationship. 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
5761 Honey, you’re taking the Earth being flat way too literal . 1.0746 0.03871 67 63 3 1
5762 That does not mean you are iron-ic, George 1.0746 0.03871 67 63 3 1
5763 I knew you were broke but I thought that was an idiom. 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
5764 I didn’t imagine this is what you meant when you said we needed to iron out a few issues? 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
5765 I’m pretty sure ironing board abs were never a thing ‘. 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
5766 No, no, George, the laundry, the laundry! 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
5767 Your self deprecation has gone too far 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
5768 Looks like Couldn't-Give-a-Damn-About-Work Man forgot his costume. 1.0714 0.03709 70 66 3 1
5769 Next time maybe just eat more fiber? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
5770 I specifically told you to wait till I got back,but now I have to spend the next week making sure you don 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
5771 The persistence of ironing time 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
5772 I told you to iron it "head to toe" ~ not "your head and your toes." 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5773 Edgar baby… I know I promised we could iron things out, but I meant together! 1.0704 0.03657 71 67 3 1
5774 Well that's one way to get out of work. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5775 And this is why I never let my husband do the laundry 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
5776 Remember? I’m headed to New York City in the morning. Flat rate. 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
5777 Just be careful. Your self ironing suit us polyester and too high a heat can give it a melt down. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
5778 Hang on! Why would you iron yourself flat?? 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
5779 Selfies and irons don't work. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
5780 He was steamrolled! The iron's a red herring. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
5781 I'm really not impressed. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
5782 Let the cat decide. "Master Of Time-Saving Tactics"...or... moron 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
5783 It's probably time you did your own ironing 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
5784 Stanley, I want a divorce. You never take anything seriously, you're a bad kisser; you're unattractive, you're infertile, and you have no job. I only married you for your fame, but everyone is so sick of this stupid act you've been putting up. 1.0676 0.03512 74 70 3 1
5785 I consider you to be the thinnest man on the face of the Earth. 1.0676 0.03512 74 70 3 1
5786 When said you needed to look sharp, I meant to use a Zoom filter. 1.0674 0.03500 89 85 2 2
5787 Flat Iron is the name of the building, honey. 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
5788 Meow” said the ca 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
5789 If that doesn't work try getting a job. Any job. 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
5790 I think you have a cure for de-pressing! 1.0645 0.03145 62 58 4 0
5791 I knew you were depressed, but this is no solution! 1.0645 0.03145 62 58 4 0
5792 Please tell me you're not being ironic. 1.0635 0.03097 63 59 4 0
5793 So this is what’s been hiding in that wrinkle in time! 1.0635 0.03097 63 59 4 0
5794 I thought you knew to remove the clothes first! 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
5795 My mother always told me to flatten everything out right out of the washer--so you wouldn't NEED an iron! 1.0625 0.03776 64 61 2 1
5796 Who says working from home isn't a pressing matter! 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
5797 Sweetheart, flattening yourself will not get you the flatter you so desperately seek" 1.0615 0.03004 65 61 4 0
5798 Toms wife was not sympathetic to his acute iron deficiency. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
5799 When I asked you to press your suit Thomas, I didn't expect you'd literally iron the clothes on your back! 1.0606 0.02960 66 62 4 0
5800 It seems that your suit is the last thing that needs straightening out. 1.0606 0.03663 66 63 2 1
5801 I do the ironing around here, because I’m a woman . 1.0606 0.02960 66 62 4 0
5802 Honey, I know you feel empty inside but there’re better ways to feel something again 1.0606 0.02960 66 62 4 0
5803 I told you that suit looked too limp on you. 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
5804 Well, you did say you wanted a freshly ironed shirt every morning before leaving for the office. 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
5805 You said no more surprises in bed, honey, now that I’m plain you can call me Jane. Wanna go for vanilla ice cream? 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
5806 This isn't what I had in mind when I said we should iron out our problems. 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
5807 Why did I buy that ironing board cover from the Bed, Bath & Beyond liquidation sale? 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
5808 I warned you before, it is the fourth rule of ironing: do not iron over zippers, buttons, or any decorations! 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
5809 I know the rising inflation has been a source of stress, but I really don’t think this solves anything 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
5810 Most people go for a few Botox injections! 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
5811 And if you ever say 'bad kitty' again, I'm going to lay you out flatter. 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5812 Don't you remember me telling you that if you put the iron to work, it will try to put YOU to work? 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5813 I used light starch 1.0548 0.03316 73 70 2 1
5814 I know , your pressing your luck George, but there must be a better way to iron out that static cling. 1.0545 0.04035 55 53 1 1
5815 We said we’d iron this out. 1.0541 0.03272 74 71 2 1
5816 Your doctor did say that you have too much starch in your diet. 1.0526 0.02984 57 54 3 0
5817 I thought we could iron things out, but he was flat-out lying. 1.0526 0.02578 76 72 4 0
5818 You know that’s not what I meant when I told you to take it for a spin 1.0492 0.02792 61 58 3 0
5819 This is not what I had in mind when I married an ironman. 1.0462 0.03419 65 63 1 1
5820 Better than finding you hanging outside I suppose. 1.0455 0.02584 66 63 3 0
5821 When I said we still have to iron out a few more wrinkles before expanding our family… 1.0448 0.02546 67 64 3 0
5822 This one is too dumb to even try. And why does it look like the stereotypical black woman is doing the laundry and ironing? 1.0441 0.03269 68 66 1 1
5823 Ya know you never were very good at teaching moments” 1.0423 0.02404 71 68 3 0
5824 You are flat wrong when it comes to ironing clothes! 1.0411 0.02339 73 70 3 0
5825 Yes, I said I was leaving you flat and I see you beat me to it. But I’m still leaving, you idiot. 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
5826 The poor soul told me just this week that he was bored to death. 1.0400 0.02278 75 72 3 0
5827 I think you could use a little more starch 1.0392 0.02745 51 49 2 0
5828 Can this marriage be saved? 1.0308 0.02159 65 63 2 0
5829 George, did you really think ironing yourself to take the "de" out of "depressed" was self-care? Call your therapist, please. 1.0299 0.02095 67 65 2 0
5830 Impressive effort, but I think Marvel will stick with Robert Downey Jr. 1.0270 0.01898 74 72 2 0
5831 Now that's one way to be an Iron Man! 1.0175 0.01770 57 56 1 0