Contest #840


Cartoon

840

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Don’t worry, I'll still love you when you have wrinkles.”
  2. “You missed your forehead.”
  3. “I’ll fold.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2023-03-06T01:11:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2023-03-20T00:12:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2023-03-14T00:12:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued March 20, 2023
Number of captions 5832
Number of responses 730960
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 The label said 'Lay flat to iron." 1.7677 0.02017 1597 747 474 376
1 I'm still taking you to the cleaners. 1.7655 0.02002 1616 757 481 378
2 Now might be a good time to grab that sock behind the washer. 1.7299 0.01741 2051 989 627 435
3 It looks like you ran out of steam. 1.7254 0.01972 1537 728 503 306
4 So it really did kill him to help with the ironing once in a while. 1.7247 0.01697 2241 1116 626 499
5 I said don't flatter yourself 1.6881 0.02023 1494 762 436 296
6 You know I think that suit does make you look slimmer. 1.6800 0.01895 1547 756 530 261
7 You’re sleeping on the hanger tonight. 1.6737 0.01364 2942 1442 1018 482
8 This is your iron man training? 1.6724 0.02039 1404 715 434 255
9 I'm quite sure I said "iron it yourself", not "iron yourself!" 1.6517 0.01900 1562 807 492 263
10 THAT does not make you Iron Man any more than THIS makes me Cat Woman. 1.6474 0.01973 1520 812 432 276
11 You have to take it off first, Jim 1.6461 0.01960 1475 771 455 249
12 That's not what the doctor meant by your needing more iron. 1.6432 0.02501 880 455 284 141
13 No one will be able to tell over Zoom. 1.6360 0.02220 1140 603 349 188
14 You still have some wrinkles on your forehead. 1.6350 0.01882 1567 825 489 253
15 Do you have any other pressing engagements? 1.6315 0.02294 1053 557 327 169
16 Just remember to fold yourself up when you're done. 1.6184 0.02398 933 496 297 140
17 On the bright side, it’s not *permanent* press. 1.6170 0.01806 1590 833 533 224
18 Even if you fit in my suitcase, I am not taking you with me! 1.6162 0.02474 904 490 271 143
19 You've got to stop spreading yourself too thin. 1.6139 0.02523 821 434 270 117
20 OK Salvador Dali. It's already been done. 1.6078 0.02342 979 530 303 146
21 Ironically, I'm impressed! 1.6034 0.02885 653 358 196 99
22 Ironically this adds a serious wrinkle to our relationship 1.6016 0.02294 1024 561 310 153
23 He loved Salvador Dali 1.6010 0.01853 1554 848 478 228
24 Ok, Iron Man. Now use your superpowers to do the sheets. 1.5999 0.01958 1427 790 418 219
25 You had one job. 1.5974 0.02167 1150 635 343 172
26 Was that you banging inside the dryer? 1.5932 0.01508 2318 1274 713 331
27 You’re not the only one with pressing business to attend to, Frank. 1.5914 0.01957 1351 738 427 186
28 I meant iron out OUR issues 1.5875 0.01852 1503 825 473 205
29 I still don't believe you're straight. 1.5860 0.01929 1517 872 401 244
30 Should I call 911 or gently spray you with water? 1.5803 0.02344 922 508 293 121
31 Honey, why don’t you just try diet and exercise? 1.5793 0.01826 1973 1238 327 408
32 If you'll roll over I'll iron the back. 1.5793 0.02421 889 497 269 123
33 Sure I said we could iron things out but… 1.5742 0.01935 1266 684 437 145
34 You have to take it off first. 1.5741 0.02398 911 515 269 127
35 When you said that you were pressed for time, I had no idea…. 1.5740 0.02117 1115 617 356 142
36 This is not what i meant by “iron things out” 1.5733 0.02535 778 431 248 99
37 Ok that's it! Back to you take out the trash and I do the laundry. 1.5704 0.02060 1194 669 369 156
38 This isn't what I meant by 'repressed.' 1.5697 0.02444 904 522 249 133
39 You're wearing that tie with that shirt again? 1.5682 0.02720 762 450 191 121
40 And yet he makes fun of my driving. 1.5663 0.02441 927 544 241 142
41 I'll fold. 1.5619 0.01843 1550 896 437 217
42 Great, it looks like you’ve ironed out most of your issues. 1.5536 0.02546 746 421 237 88
43 Let me guess. Your mom did all your laundry. 1.5522 0.02020 1273 743 357 173
44 Well, hello Dali! 1.5509 0.02207 1169 713 268 188
45 Typical guy ploy: do it wrong the first time, never asked to do it again 1.5484 0.02113 1220 732 307 181
46 I'll get the bicycle pump 1.5390 0.02311 924 539 272 113
47 I won’t take much of your time, I can see you’re pressed. 1.5327 0.02299 963 575 263 125
48 Well, at least it's better than the vacuum incident. 1.5326 0.02200 1029 609 292 128
49 Now that is just flat-out stupid. 1.5319 0.02491 814 485 225 104
50 Don't worry, I'll still love you when you have wrinkles. 1.5310 0.02273 983 588 268 127
51 The problem is that you have no backbone. 1.5295 0.03069 508 297 153 58
52 I see why your first wife took you to the cleaners. 1.5290 0.02404 947 587 219 141
53 Don't forget to hang yourself up before you wrinkle. 1.5273 0.02473 787 463 233 91
54 Ben, wood or wire? I have both. 1.5271 0.02399 867 518 241 108
55 Impressive. Now let’s see you fold the fitted sheet. 1.5260 0.02175 941 538 311 92
56 I told them you're flat out 'til next Tuesday. 1.5257 0.02586 719 424 212 83
57 The cat wants to know if she can lie on you now... 1.5242 0.02513 805 487 214 104
58 Next time just ask me. 1.5228 0.02433 813 482 237 94
59 It works better with the suit off. 1.5226 0.02570 731 434 212 85
60 Well, ironically… 1.5220 0.02657 728 444 188 96
61 I'm glad to see you've ironed things out. 1.5197 0.02534 710 414 223 73
62 Try hanging yourself in the shower next time. 1.5175 0.02405 800 471 244 85
63 The doctor just said you had an iron deficiency... 1.5173 0.02400 837 501 239 97
64 You are such an idiot. Get back in the dryer to fluff up a bit. 1.5168 0.02658 685 411 194 80
65 You have issues, Frank. Pressing issues. 1.5139 0.02467 864 539 206 119
66 I said, "You should be flattered!" 1.5131 0.02525 803 496 202 105
67 This is your idea of straightening yourself out? 1.5130 0.02469 848 526 209 113
68 I liked you better wrinkled. 1.5126 0.02646 675 404 196 75
69 Paul and Linda called to invite us to dinner but I told them you were flat out. 1.5111 0.02677 673 407 188 78
70 I'm not sure this saves as much time as you think. 1.5110 0.02702 681 417 180 84
71 Well, my mother always said you were two dimensional. 1.5084 0.02496 775 471 214 90
72 I see you’ve finally straightened yourself out. 1.5073 0.02567 749 460 198 91
73 You are spreading yourself too thin, Myron 1.5066 0.02505 760 461 213 86
74 Good thing that isn’t permanent press. 1.5065 0.02553 691 410 212 69
75 Well, that got rid of your potbelly. 1.5065 0.02706 620 369 188 63
76 I think you are going overboard, Stanley. 1.5062 0.02737 648 396 176 76
77 Darling, you missed the wrinkles on your forehead 1.5061 0.03821 330 201 91 38
78 So what did you have to do that was so pressing? 1.5030 0.02607 662 395 201 66
79 Roll over, I'll do your back. 1.5030 0.02773 676 427 158 91
80 This isn't what I meant when I said we could iron things out... 1.5015 0.02682 688 427 177 84
81 You should have Googled “Iron Man Contest,” before you started. 1.5013 0.02629 774 496 168 110
82 When I said we need to iron things out, I didn’t mean literally. 1.5007 0.02627 685 418 191 76
83 A good steam is so relaxing. 1.4992 0.02623 641 382 198 61
84 The perfect man! He's well-dressed and does his own ironing. 1.4969 0.02730 636 391 174 71
85 Hon, we were supposed iron out our problems together. 1.4961 0.02678 647 395 183 69
86 I told you to not use the self ironing function! 1.4955 0.02973 559 350 141 68
87 We're out of cat food 1.4955 0.03096 555 358 119 78
88 Oh honey, this isn’t how we iron out our problems. 1.4946 0.02893 560 344 155 61
89 Just admit you have no idea what you're doing. 1.4941 0.02764 674 430 155 89
90 That's still not irony. 1.4924 0.02910 589 372 144 73
91 I said "iron *it* yourself" 1.4912 0.02969 568 360 137 71
92 Too much softener, not enough starch. 1.4891 0.02761 552 329 176 47
93 it's a no-iron shirt, Brian 1.4875 0.02797 601 374 161 66
94 Don't expect me to fold you. 1.4875 0.02804 599 373 160 66
95 You are the reason they put warning labels on everything. 1.4874 0.02861 634 410 139 85
96 That's ironic 1.4865 0.02816 629 401 150 78
97 Get up, Salvador Dali, you’ll be late for work. And dont forget your melted stopwatch. 1.4846 0.02916 551 344 147 60
98 Honey, nobody irons anymore. 1.4826 0.02819 574 356 159 59
99 You used “ironic” wrong, again. 1.4815 0.02805 648 420 144 84
100 Is this what you meant by a pressing engagement? 1.4814 0.02763 590 365 166 59
101 You folded like a cheap suit, pathetic. 1.4797 0.03031 517 327 132 58
102 Tricky. Now try folding a fitted sheet. 1.4783 0.02937 554 352 139 63
103 Let me guess, you were pressed for time? 1.4754 0.02956 549 351 135 63
104 Once again, you've misconstrued what I meant by 'irony'. 1.4744 0.03141 527 348 108 71
105 ”I see you just couldn’t wait to try the new iron with the AI option. 1.4738 0.03214 458 292 115 51
106 Apparently you have an iron deficiency. 1.4737 0.03011 570 376 118 76
107 Well, of course, I can’t miss the irony. 1.4735 0.02995 528 337 132 59
108 Why the long face? 1.4722 0.03100 504 325 120 59
109 John, for the last time, wrinkles are a part of getting older. Deal with it. 1.4704 0.03158 523 348 104 71
110 Extreme irony doesn’t suit you. 1.4688 0.03132 497 323 115 59
111 Darling, that's not the kind of Iron Man I'm waiting for 1.4680 0.03068 453 281 132 40
112 You’re supposed to take the suit off first 1.4679 0.03088 498 321 121 56
113 Fair job, but you’ve got to put a crease in those pants. 1.4678 0.03044 419 252 138 29
114 When I said I wanted an "iron man", this is not what I meant. 1.4676 0.03150 479 309 116 54
115 Get in the dryer. I'll run you through the fluff cycle. 1.4665 0.03201 463 299 112 52
116 This feels a little surreal. You ironed? 1.4662 0.02715 517 310 173 34
117 When I said 'clean and press' I meant the suit, just the suit. 1.4647 0.03153 439 276 122 41
118 Will you be ready for pickup on Thursday?” 1.4630 0.03065 460 289 129 42
119 That's perfect darling. Now fold yourself into the third drawer and I'll see you when I get back from work. 1.4626 0.03087 495 321 119 55
120 You missed your forehead. 1.4625 0.03237 467 307 104 56
121 Honey, I don't think you used the polyester setting. 1.4623 0.03215 411 257 118 36
122 Don’t forget to fold. 1.4623 0.03015 517 335 125 57
123 So here's the wrinkle... 1.4614 0.03270 414 263 111 40
124 You could have been hung out to dry, but no, you had to press for more. 1.4594 0.03357 468 318 85 65
125 I need you to get something that rolled under the fridge. 1.4571 0.03020 466 294 131 41
126 Honey, when the tag says lie flat...... 1.4553 0.03306 459 308 93 58
127 Make sure you remember to unplug that when you're done. 1.4553 0.03144 459 297 115 47
128 Should I store you on a hanger or in a box? 1.4543 0.03109 427 268 124 35
129 Sure, you’re spineless. But you’re also a snappy dresser. 1.4537 0.03211 421 269 113 39
130 I see you found the Dali setting. 1.4521 0.03624 376 252 78 46
131 My first husband was wash and wear. 1.4517 0.03037 445 280 129 36
132 You know, sometimes it's better not to strike when the iron's hot. 1.4494 0.03167 445 289 112 44
133 And now you know why you're not allowed to use the vacuum. 1.4487 0.03260 448 298 99 51
134 Men!...They always think they know what they're doing. 1.4474 0.03295 409 266 103 40
135 But I loved your wrinkles." 1.4468 0.03301 423 279 99 45
136 I can tell you’re pretty steamed. 1.4465 0.03415 383 250 95 38
137 I'll bet you're really impressed with yourself, aren't you? 1.4464 0.03300 392 252 105 35
138 Depressed? 1.4463 0.03527 354 230 90 34
139 Did you get all the kinks out yet? 1.4459 0.03363 388 252 99 37
140 What I said was,"Iron it yourself", not "Iron yourself". 1.4450 0.03453 409 276 84 49
141 Together! We were supposed to iron out our differences together! 1.4447 0.03530 389 262 81 46
142 Still feeling flat? 1.4436 0.03325 381 245 103 33
143 Great. Now if you could only get the crease out of your brow. 1.4433 0.03402 397 263 92 42
144 Not the tie. It has polyester 1.4431 0.03197 413 266 111 36
145 Honey, that's not what the mean by "lay flat to dry." 1.4429 0.03249 429 283 102 44
146 Still wanna go with ‘how hard can it be?’ 1.4427 0.03686 375 258 68 49
147 No amount of ironing will give you a backbone,honey. 1.4420 0.03596 371 250 78 43
148 You forgot the fluff setting again didn't you? 1.4417 0.03549 369 246 83 40
149 He was pressed for time. 1.4411 0.03404 365 236 97 32
150 I don't think that's what the label meant by 'Lay flat to dry.' 1.4395 0.03590 380 259 75 46
151 Yes, I think you’ll win the limbo contest this year. 1.4380 0.03482 363 239 89 35
152 Don't you see the irony? 1.4365 0.03244 417 275 102 40
153 When you said you had pressing urges, I imagined something quite other. 1.4364 0.03262 401 262 103 36
154 No wonder your boss walks all over you. 1.4359 0.03593 390 270 70 50
155 I love your sense of self-irony. 1.4354 0.03727 356 245 67 44
156 Honestly, Brian, how many times have I told you to press them BEFORE you put them on? 1.4354 0.03270 379 244 105 30
157 When I said we should iron out our differences, you didn't have to take it so literally. 1.4346 0.03251 382 246 106 30
158 Iron first, get dressed second. How hard is that? 1.4339 0.03543 378 257 78 43
159 Well I hate to think what would have happened if I had said we need to hammer out a deal instead. 1.4328 0.03901 335 234 57 44
160 The irony is that all your clothes are permanent press. 1.4328 0.03311 372 241 101 30
161 I’m getting tired of your dramatic ironing. 1.4327 0.03247 379 244 106 29
162 You're right. That suit does make you look thinner. 1.4313 0.03382 371 244 94 33
163 It worked on TikTok. 1.4295 0.03788 298 197 74 27
164 OK, fine, that suit does make you look thinner. 1.4294 0.03570 347 232 81 34
165 So much for ironing with your clothes on - Mr. Efficiency Expert! 1.4277 0.03534 332 218 86 28
166 You're supposed to take it off first. 1.4261 0.03169 352 221 112 19
167 I think you are spreading yourself too thin. 1.4260 0.03742 331 226 69 36
168 The doctor's office is closed but I think we can slip you under the door into his waiting room. 1.4259 0.03526 371 253 78 40
169 Let me get you a viagra . 1.4257 0.03774 296 196 74 26
170 What I said was "Iron it yourself" 1.4255 0.03783 329 226 66 37
171 Would you like me to do your back? 1.4246 0.03488 358 240 84 34
172 I meant Before you put it on! 1.4242 0.05902 132 90 28 14
173 So much for reading the clothing care labels 1.4224 0.03680 303 200 78 25
174 Todd, when you told me you were pressed for time … 1.4216 0.03228 370 240 104 26
175 It ‘s not what I meant when I said “We need to iron a few things out! 1.4213 0.03500 356 240 82 34
176 I don't know what you think you're doing, that's not even plugged in. 1.4211 0.03617 361 250 70 41
177 We have very different ideas of letting off steam. 1.4205 0.03332 371 246 94 31
178 You want to hang out? 1.4192 0.03815 291 195 70 26
179 Smooth, real smooth 1.4184 0.03702 282 184 78 20
180 I hope you didn't select "Permanent Press." 1.4177 0.03786 328 228 63 37
181 I should've taken you to the cleaners when I had the chance. 1.4164 0.03589 317 211 80 26
182 You lack depth, Gary. 1.4151 0.03949 318 226 52 40
183 Don’t tell me you kept the chocolate bars in your pocket. 1.4146 0.03476 328 217 86 25
184 And you wonder why I don’t let you have a gun. 1.4137 0.04163 278 196 49 33
185 So you're still being ironic? 1.4132 0.03723 317 217 69 31
186 Darling, I wish you would stop trying to impress me. 1.4132 0.03678 288 190 77 21
187 I’m totally pressed for time! 1.4130 0.04002 293 205 55 33
188 There’s gotta be a better way to make you look taller. 1.4128 0.03923 298 207 59 32
189 Turn over. I'll do your back. 1.4120 0.03746 284 189 73 22
190 Very funny, Salvador... 1.4116 0.03856 311 217 60 34
191 That’s just like you to bend over backwards to press your point. 1.4116 0.03605 311 208 78 25
192 Honey, stop. I got the door open. 1.4107 0.03568 336 229 76 31
193 I suppose you want me to do the hand? 1.4099 0.03679 322 221 70 31
194 You're taking me a bit too literally, but I'm glad you've ironed things out. 1.4096 0.03600 293 193 80 20
195 Would an antidepressant help? 1.4084 0.03515 311 206 83 22
196 I just wanted you to do more chores around the house, not be a total doormat. 1.4080 0.03764 299 204 68 27
197 Appointment in the Flat Iron Building today, dear? 1.4078 0.03676 309 210 72 27
198 I thought we agreed to iron it out together. 1.4076 0.03578 314 211 78 25
199 That's the easy part. Now flip over. 1.4073 0.03463 329 220 84 25
200 I just said we should iron things out. 1.4073 0.03896 275 187 64 24
201 With you, everything is pressing. 1.4061 0.03712 330 231 64 35
202 If you were better at grammar, you'd know that the instruction 'lay flat on the ironing board' was not referring to you. 1.4058 0.03912 313 223 53 37
203 So, my mother was here and you ironed out your differences? 1.4056 0.03588 323 220 75 28
204 Do you remember where I put your hangar? 1.4052 0.03703 269 177 75 17
205 Next time, just hop in the dryer with a damp sock. 1.4050 0.03854 279 190 65 24
206 That's not what I meant when I said we needed to iron things out. 1.4049 0.03770 326 230 60 36
207 Honey, not all the irons in the world will ever make you straight. 1.4043 0.03592 329 226 73 30
208 And this, rescue kitty, is our flatmate. 1.4042 0.03809 287 196 66 25
209 You just have to ask yourself, "Was the time I saved really worth it?" 1.4039 0.03804 307 214 62 31
210 You win. Stick to drying the dishes. 1.4036 0.04060 275 193 53 29
211 Is this your first time? 1.4034 0.03781 290 198 67 25
212 This answers the question, would it kill a man to pick up an iron? 1.4029 0.04154 278 199 46 33
213 Very nice...but you're still going to my mother's. 1.4029 0.04185 278 200 44 34
214 Next time, do it BEFORE you put them on. 1.4022 0.03791 271 182 69 20
215 What can I say say, Fluffy? I told him it’s easy to press a suit laying flat on the ironing board, but…. 1.4021 0.03849 286 197 63 26
216 Very funny. We still have to have dinner with my mother. 1.4020 0.03632 296 199 75 22
217 Perhaps a little starch? 1.4010 0.04556 192 130 47 15
218 I was thinking a whole different kind of “steamy” 1.4007 0.03901 287 200 59 28
219 I’m pressed for time. 1.4000 0.03958 265 182 60 23
220 When I said we could iron things out,I didn't mean to such an extreme. 1.4000 0.03545 310 209 78 23
221 You win. Irony is not dead. 1.3993 0.03765 298 206 65 27
222 I’m just glad I didn’t ask you to mow the lawn. 1.3993 0.03859 278 191 63 24
223 I'll need to know your blood type before you hem the pants. 1.3984 0.04152 251 175 52 24
224 They’ll walk all over you at the office. 1.3978 0.03863 274 188 63 23
225 You know that suit is dry clean only. 1.3977 0.03908 259 176 63 20
226 Now isn’t this ironic. 1.3974 0.03713 307 213 66 28
227 This is what happens when you can’t stop pressing your point. 1.3969 0.03810 257 172 68 17
228 Oh, there you are. So how did lunch with my mother go? 1.3964 0.04064 280 200 49 31
229 You're supposed to take them off first. 1.3964 0.03735 280 190 69 21
230 I said, I’m into washboard abs. Not ironing board abs. 1.3955 0.03886 268 184 62 22
231 That's why I said - Go easy on the fabric softener! 1.3951 0.03914 243 163 64 16
232 You still have wrinkles on your face. 1.3948 0.04129 271 194 47 30
233 Honey, how did it go on Meet the Press? 1.3939 0.04060 297 217 43 37
234 I think you need to do your forehead again. 1.3936 0.03714 282 192 69 21
235 What were you thinking, Fred? It’s Casual Friday. 1.3925 0.03987 265 185 56 24
236 You could have just jumped in the dryer and let it run for a few minutes. 1.3921 0.03818 278 192 63 23
237 Botox also works. 1.3919 0.03746 296 206 64 26
238 I didn't think you even knew where I kept the iron. 1.3918 0.03736 268 181 69 18
239 Don’t flatter yourself; I’m still taking you to the cleaners. 1.3912 0.03855 294 208 57 29
240 You used to be so well-rounded. 1.3902 0.04043 246 170 56 20
241 We're all out of starch. Would you like a blue pill? 1.3900 0.04013 259 181 55 23
242 Flexibility has always been your long suit. 1.3889 0.03753 288 200 64 24
243 Great, you ruined a perfectly good husband 1.3887 0.03666 283 193 70 20
244 I know you said we would iron things out but really.... 1.3887 0.03989 247 170 58 19
245 Are you done with the iron? 1.3886 0.04115 229 157 55 17
246 The suit helps, but you still look spineless. 1.3875 0.03961 289 208 50 31
247 Mansplain this to me! 1.3871 0.04137 248 175 50 23
248 I guess it would kill you to do more housework. 1.3866 0.04048 238 164 56 18
249 Bad news... Tony Stark called and he's taking the project in a completely different direction. 1.3861 0.04046 259 183 52 24
250 'Did you get it all ironed out?' 1.3856 0.03890 236 159 63 14
251 Jack, I said my fantasy was Iron Man, NOT an Ironed Man! 1.3855 0.04048 262 186 51 25
252 When they say we’ll iron this out, I don’t think this is what they meant. 1.3849 0.03757 265 181 66 18
253 Another YouTube tutorial? 1.3849 0.04010 278 200 49 29
254 How's hot yoga going? 1.3846 0.03996 260 183 54 23
255 What could be more pressing? 1.3841 0.04960 151 103 38 10
256 I guess you were pressed for time? 1.3833 0.03977 240 165 58 17
257 Jeremy Irons himself 1.3833 0.04707 227 170 27 30
258 Really Stan, I'm beginning to see why my mother finds you spineless. 1.3826 0.04277 230 163 46 21
259 When you’re done here, I need you to get an earring that fell behind the dresser. 1.3825 0.04211 251 181 44 26
260 Don’t flatter yourself, honey. 1.3821 0.04156 246 175 48 23
261 You forgot the collar. 1.3817 0.04258 241 173 44 24
262 This isn’t what I meant by let’s try ironing out our problems. 1.3813 0.03832 257 177 62 18
263 As if you're the only person with pressing needs! 1.3810 0.04305 231 165 44 22
264 Honey, why don't you just use Botox? 1.3810 0.04414 210 148 44 18
265 I know you’re flat-out lying. 1.3808 0.04158 239 169 49 21
266 Oh yeah. My hero. Ironed man. 1.3806 0.04061 247 174 52 21
267 That suit does make you look thinner! 1.3800 0.04144 250 179 47 24
268 I was thinking linguine for dinner. 1.3799 0.03401 279 185 82 12
269 Just what our relationship needs, more irony. 1.3797 0.04171 266 195 41 30
270 I told you I'd be home in 5 minutes. 1.3782 0.03327 312 211 84 17
271 . John, you missed a spot 1.3780 0.03584 291 201 70 20
272 I'm leaving you, Tom. I need someone with more depth. 1.3780 0.04094 254 182 48 24
273 I'm still not sure you'll fit in the overhead bin. 1.3775 0.04074 249 177 50 22
274 No, I don’t think that’s how he became Iron Man. 1.3770 0.04000 252 178 53 21
275 I knew it: Mr. Green in the laundry room with the iron. 1.3768 0.03990 276 200 48 28
276 This is not what I mean when I said you need to straighten yourself out. 1.3760 0.04031 242 170 53 19
277 I know I said we had to iron out our differences, but? 1.3755 0.04098 229 160 52 17
278 Is this your idea of dramatic ironing? 1.3755 0.03524 277 188 74 15
279 See, Fluffy? I put the iron in his hand and it'll look like suicide. 1.3750 0.04064 272 199 44 29
280 You really have no idea what a press secretary does, do you? 1.3750 0.04413 232 170 37 25
281 Iron Man, you clearly are not. 1.3750 0.03922 240 166 58 16
282 I think you misunderstood what I meant by flattery. 1.3745 0.04008 251 178 52 21
283 What about MY pressing needs...?! 1.3739 0.04162 238 170 47 21
284 I know they said it was so easy a man could do it. 1.3730 0.04112 252 182 46 24
285 Or, we could just bite the bullet & pay the checked luggage fee. 1.3728 0.04424 228 167 37 24
286 Ironic? I was thinking moronic. 1.3728 0.03888 279 201 52 26
287 We’ll reinflate him the next time we need a good man around the house. Until then it’s just the two of us living the life. 1.3711 0.03909 256 181 55 20
288 I'm not falling for your weaponized incompetence. 1.3710 0.03744 248 170 64 14
289 As usual, you've gone way overboard. 1.3708 0.04005 240 169 53 18
290 Damn, I wish I had checked his care label before I married him. 1.3707 0.04477 205 147 40 18
291 You still haven’t convinced me that you get irony. 1.3705 0.04297 224 161 43 20
292 I just want you to know, Mittens is exercising a lot of restraint right now. 1.3705 0.04121 251 182 45 24
293 Nice try, we're still going out to dinner with my mom. 1.3704 0.04555 216 159 34 23
294 Very nice now get up and go to work 1.3701 0.05568 127 90 27 10
295 The massage therapist is booked for the next two weeks, but it looks like you ironed out some kinks yourself. 1.3701 0.03641 254 173 68 13
296 That does it...I fold 1.3696 0.04031 230 161 53 16
297 Can't we just iron this out. 1.3692 0.04237 214 151 47 16
298 Flat Stanley! You’re back! 1.3682 0.04205 220 156 47 17
299 Why don’t you just come flat out and say it? 1.3680 0.03808 269 191 57 21
300 If this isn't an argument for Return to Office I don't know what is. 1.3679 0.04495 193 137 41 15
301 How's "your way" going? 1.3674 0.04422 215 156 39 20
302 Maybe you just aren't ready to go back to in-person meetings 1.3672 0.03904 256 182 54 20
303 Once again, doing it badly yourself will not get me to do it for you. 1.3668 0.04086 229 162 50 17
304 Going on a business trip, Stanley? 1.3667 0.04236 210 148 47 15
305 Want me to do your face? 1.3665 0.04587 191 137 38 16
306 Are you in training for the Iron Man? 1.3663 0.03964 243 172 53 18
307 This is exactly why they kicked you out of the choir. 1.3659 0.04251 205 144 47 14
308 This is not what the marriage counselor meant about ironing out our differences. 1.3652 0.04164 230 165 46 19
309 You're so low maintenance. My last boyfriend was dry clean only. 1.3649 0.04676 211 158 29 24
310 You know that you're dry clean only, right? 1.3649 0.04377 211 152 41 18
311 You're the one who wanted the iron with AI. 1.3649 0.04124 222 157 49 16
312 Try taking it off first. 1.3640 0.04094 239 172 47 20
313 Well, it worked on my hair in the 90s! 1.3636 0.03916 198 133 58 7
314 I am Iron Man 1.3636 0.04391 220 161 38 21
315 Charles, I think you might have an iron deficiency. 1.3636 0.04088 253 185 44 24
316 It's the name of the building, not the dress code. 1.3632 0.04475 201 145 39 17
317 When did we get a cat? 1.3632 0.04584 201 147 35 19
318 I thought you were pressed for time today! 1.3632 0.03947 190 127 57 6
319 Honey I was pressed for time 1.3629 0.03776 248 173 60 15
320 Real smooth, Steve. 1.3629 0.04067 248 180 46 22
321 Nice, try. You’re still doing your own laundry. 1.3621 0.03949 232 163 54 15
322 Honey, I said we could iron things out, but this is going too far. 1.3621 0.04134 232 167 46 19
323 It was sexy the first time, Fred. 1.3620 0.04375 221 162 38 21
324 I thought we agreed to embrace our wrinkles. 1.3620 0.04133 221 157 48 16
325 I knew I should have taken him to the cleaners. 1.3615 0.03968 260 189 48 23
326 Looks like you’ve run out of steam 1.3607 0.04106 219 155 49 15
327 Stick to painting, Salvador. 1.3604 0.04117 222 158 48 16
328 Your forehead is still wrinkly. 1.3602 0.04726 186 136 33 17
329 You’ are being ridiculous. No one is going to notice a few wrinkles. 1.3594 0.04332 217 158 40 19
330 Now do you believe me when I tell you that being a homemaker takes more brains than working on Wall Street. 1.3589 0.04292 209 150 43 16
331 I told you I don't respond to flattery. 1.3586 0.03794 237 165 59 13
332 Don’t think this will get you out of doing laundry. 1.3585 0.04033 212 148 52 12
333 This is NOT what I meant when I said we needed to smooth things out. 1.3581 0.03978 229 162 52 15
334 My Dad was right. You lack starch. 1.3579 0.04404 190 135 42 13
335 Surely you don’t need me to teach you how to fold ? 1.3578 0.04309 204 146 43 15
336 So this is what you meant by a pressing engagement? 1.3578 0.03958 204 140 55 9
337 Ironic, yes? 1.3575 0.04418 193 138 41 14
338 Did I really need to say "take it off first"? 1.3571 0.04546 196 143 36 17
339 Now you’ll fit in almost anywhere. 1.3571 0.04469 182 129 41 12
340 Definitely the iron….but WHO did it…and where? 1.3568 0.03973 241 173 50 18
341 Yes. You did scorch the tie. 1.3564 0.03855 202 137 58 7
342 How do you plan to do your back? 1.3558 0.04512 208 154 34 20
343 No, John, this is not what irony looks like. 1.3556 0.04168 225 163 44 18
344 Got a minute or are you pressed for time? 1.3555 0.04414 211 155 37 19
345 Incredible. How did you iron your right arm by yourself? 1.3545 0.04602 189 138 35 16
346 Now who is a door mat? 1.3543 0.04796 175 128 32 15
347 You want the starch or the viagra this time? 1.3541 0.04743 209 160 24 25
348 Still think you can live without me? 1.3539 0.04670 178 129 35 14
349 Oh, honey--you've always been dry clean only." 1.3539 0.04242 178 123 47 8
350 Don't blame me. You did this to yourself. 1.3538 0.04258 195 138 45 12
351 Well, at least you took your suit off the hanger this time. 1.3532 0.04230 201 143 45 13
352 I know you don’t want to come off like a stuffed shirt, but this is ridiculous. 1.3529 0.03958 238 171 50 17
353 I'm only surprised that you managed to get the cuffs right 1.3529 0.04119 221 159 46 16
354 Your forehead still has wrinkles. 1.3527 0.04256 207 149 43 15
355 I warned you not to use the cotton setting. 1.3525 0.05811 122 90 21 11
356 Maybe wait a week to head back into the office. 1.3524 0.03816 210 144 58 8
357 You should be steamed. 1.3521 0.04118 213 152 47 14
358 ‘Ironic’ 1.3519 0.04015 233 168 48 17
359 I didn’t think I needed to tell you to take them off first. 1.3519 0.04079 216 154 48 14
360 I, too, have pressing issues. 1.3516 0.04040 219 156 49 14
361 You weren't kidding when you said you had a pressing engagement. 1.3515 0.04384 202 147 39 16
362 Much better, but your forehead is still wrinkled. 1.3512 0.04112 205 145 48 12
363 Don't flatter yourself. 1.3510 0.04401 208 153 37 18
364 I knew that if I pressed you, you'd fold. 1.3509 0.04027 228 164 48 16
365 Or you could just wake up ten minutes earlier. 1.3505 0.03939 214 150 53 11
366 So you finally came out of the closet. 1.3502 0.04218 217 158 42 17
367 Your new boss wants to hang you out to dry? 1.3500 0.05162 140 101 29 10
368 I guess you won't be wanting any dinner tonight. 1.3500 0.04238 200 143 44 13
369 Next you can get our relationship ironed out. 1.3496 0.03642 246 172 62 12
370 Take it off first! 1.3495 0.04096 206 146 48 12
371 Seems you’ve added a new wrinkle or two 1.3491 0.03904 212 148 54 10
372 OK, you've made your point -- I'LL do the ironing! 1.3490 0.04419 192 139 39 14
373 I gave away the tire pump when you got rid of the bikes. 1.3488 0.04984 172 129 26 17
374 Suit yourself 1.3487 0.04371 195 141 40 14
375 Almost, but you missed the ones on your forehead. 1.3487 0.04431 195 142 38 15
376 I don't think you understood the Iron Man casting call. 1.3485 0.04265 198 142 43 13
377 I think it’s time you switched antidepressants. 1.3483 0.04101 201 142 48 11
378 Iron 1, Man 0. 1.3481 0.04537 181 131 37 13
379 No, first you take your clothes off, then you iron them. 1.3476 0.04151 210 151 45 14
380 I don’t think Ironed Man is an actual superhero. 1.3474 0.04449 190 138 38 14
381 I said I want to see Iron Man, not Ironed Man. 1.3472 0.04018 216 154 49 13
382 Iron Man, you ain’t “ 1.3468 0.04096 222 161 45 16
383 My mother was right, you are spineless. 1.3465 0.03873 228 162 53 13
384 You’ve been pressing yourself too hard lately. 1.3450 0.04288 200 145 41 14
385 Next time I press the suit and you walk the dog. 1.3448 0.04358 203 149 38 16
386 Yes, that suit does make you look flat. 1.3446 0.04671 177 130 33 14
387 I’m not sure this is the way to iron out our problems. 1.3443 0.04360 183 131 41 11
388 Maybe you can try cooking dinner next. 1.3438 0.05703 128 96 20 12
389 Flat lives matter. 1.3434 0.04417 166 117 41 8
390 I see your iron deficiency has returned. 1.3433 0.04442 201 149 35 17
391 What size envelope do you need? 1.3430 0.04692 172 126 33 13
392 You're not as smooth as you think you are... 1.3430 0.04128 207 149 45 13
393 ......so when you said you had a pressing engagement....... 1.3430 0.04240 207 151 41 15
394 Honey, that’s not what I was hinting at when I said I thought ‘Iron Man’ was sexy. 1.3429 0.04031 210 150 48 12
395 You feeling pressed, Dave? 1.3426 0.04009 216 155 48 13
396 You should've used the steamer. 1.3426 0.04009 216 155 48 13
397 Next time put the ironing board away when you're done. 1.3425 0.03699 219 152 59 8
398 What I said was, ‘Express yourself.’ 1.3422 0.04489 187 137 36 14
399 This is your idea of permanent press? 1.3422 0.04293 187 134 42 11
400 Training for another Ironed Man? 1.3421 0.04200 228 170 38 20
401 It looks like you have a very pressing engagement today. 1.3420 0.03831 231 165 53 13
402 Well, I guess that’s better than de-pressed… 1.3420 0.04072 193 136 48 9
403 Our marriage counselor just called and wanted to know if we had "ironed out" our problems? 1.3420 0.04329 193 140 40 13
404 Next time, please talk to me about these pressing matters. 1.3418 0.03766 237 169 55 13
405 Let's put off pruning the bushes for now. 1.3413 0.04167 208 151 43 14
406 Seems I was wrong. It would hurt you to do your own ironing." 1.3412 0.04653 170 124 34 12
407 Fold or hang? 1.3410 0.04949 173 131 25 17
408 These new TikTok trends are getting out of hand 1.3408 0.04125 179 125 47 7
409 Do you need help with your head? 1.3405 0.04520 185 136 35 14
410 Honey, I wasn't talking about those wrinkles. 1.3405 0.04455 185 135 37 13
411 Would it kill you to hire an expert every now and then? 1.3405 0.04321 185 133 41 11
412 I eagerly await your mansplanation. 1.3404 0.04274 188 135 42 11
413 You've really got to stop flying coach. 1.3403 0.04357 191 139 39 13
414 Actually, I’m quite impressed. 1.3400 0.04452 200 149 34 17
415 So much drama whenever you have to fly coach. 1.3398 0.03960 206 146 50 10
416 Remove clothes before ironing. 1.3398 0.04192 206 150 42 14
417 "No; I said 'don't 'f'latter' yourself!" 1.3396 0.04217 212 156 40 16
418 It said to lay flat. 1.3395 0.04070 215 156 45 14
419 So that explains all the screaming. 1.3395 0.04888 162 120 29 13
420 Well, now you're stuck this way. That suit is permanent press. 1.3391 0.04787 174 130 29 15
421 Should I get your iron medication ? 1.3391 0.04575 174 127 35 12
422 You're still on the hook to host my parents 1.3391 0.04924 174 132 25 17
423 Yes, your abs do look flat. 1.3390 0.04449 177 128 38 11
424 One more dryer sheet and you won’t be so clingy. 1.3390 0.04227 177 125 44 8
425 You are a flat-out liar! 1.3388 0.04681 183 137 30 16
426 I know it says self ironing 1.3385 0.04210 192 138 43 11
427 Just admit you don't understand irony! 1.3382 0.04386 204 152 35 17
428 Did you get your back? 1.3382 0.04003 207 148 48 11
429 I told you it was harder than it looks. 1.3381 0.04242 210 155 39 16
430 You know, if you just got yourself out of the dryer right away, this would never even happen. 1.3373 0.04665 169 124 33 12
431 Maybe I should explain how a few other things work, like the garbage disposal." 1.3371 0.04832 175 132 27 16
432 You might be spreading yourself too thin. 1.3371 0.04638 178 132 32 14
433 You're still not gonna fit in the carry on bag, Ed. 1.3369 0.04479 187 138 35 14
434 That suit makes you look flat. 1.3368 0.04170 190 136 44 10
435 Great impression of the Salvador Dalí painting. 1.3368 0.04301 190 138 40 12
436 Forget the plane ticket, now I can just FedEx you. 1.3368 0.04429 190 140 36 14
437 I don't think this is how Salvador Dali did it. 1.3367 0.04453 196 146 34 16
438 This is not what I meant when I said we need to iron things out,Derek. 1.3366 0.04126 202 146 44 12
439 You need to be on your side to get the creases right. 1.3366 0.03966 205 146 49 10
440 Big deal - your first wrinkle. 1.3365 0.04532 208 159 28 21
441 I hope it wasn’t on permanent press. 1.3363 0.04310 226 172 32 22
442 Let’s hope this isn’t permanent press.” 1.3362 0.04177 229 172 37 20
443 But how much time are you really saving? 1.3355 0.05037 155 116 26 13
444 Here, let me get your right hand for you. 1.3354 0.04574 161 116 36 9
445 Well, I’m impressed. 1.3354 0.04740 161 118 32 11
446 Of all the crazy things to do! That suit and tie are dry-clean-only. 1.3353 0.04789 170 127 29 14
447 You're a fucking idiot, Robert. 1.3352 0.05007 179 139 20 20
448 I'm very sorry you're depressed. 1.3352 0.04478 179 131 36 12
449 No, Jerry, it isn't irony, you're just an idiot. 1.3351 0.04509 185 137 34 14
450 When you said we had to iron out our differences I didn’t expect things to get so heated. 1.3351 0.04329 188 137 39 12
451 Your doctor warned us this would happen if you ignored your ironing deficiency! 1.3350 0.04131 197 142 44 11
452 This is not what I meant by pumping iron to lose the dad bod. 1.3350 0.04168 203 148 42 13
453 I would have done that for you 1.3350 0.04183 206 151 41 14
454 So this was your pressing engagement?! 1.3350 0.04126 206 150 43 13
455 You shouldn't put yourself under so much pressure 1.3348 0.04011 227 167 44 16
456 I said, "Iron them yourself, not iron yourself!" Now look what you've done! 1.3333 0.04403 195 145 35 15
457 You missed your forehead wrinkles. 1.3333 0.04579 195 148 29 18
458 So, he told me he needed a shirt ironed, I was tired so I told him he could iron himself… 1.3333 0.04798 183 140 25 18
459 Thank god I didn't ask you to mow the lawn. 1.3333 0.04011 201 144 47 10
460 The irony of the situation is clearly lost on you. 1.3333 0.04676 168 124 32 12
461 I’ve always said you fold too easily. 1.3333 0.04261 219 165 35 19
462 Honestly, I'm impressed that you ironed your shoes. 1.3333 0.04244 189 137 41 11
463 Okay, . . then what happened? 1.3333 0.04414 198 148 34 16
464 I said, Iron things out, not iron you out 1.3333 0.04109 189 135 45 9
465 Is this your idea of irony ? 1.3333 0.04637 153 110 35 8
466 I'll go get a mailing tube. 1.3333 0.04315 180 130 40 10
467 Nice try, but you still have to do the dishes. 1.3333 0.04521 168 122 36 10
468 This is not what I meant by ‘straighten yourself out.’ 1.3333 0.04792 180 137 26 17
469 Glad to see you got it ironed out 1.3317 0.04034 199 143 46 10
470 That’s not how you get washboard abs 1.3316 0.04355 190 140 37 13
471 I still see wrinkles on your face. 1.3315 0.04075 181 128 46 7
472 Still flying coach? 1.3315 0.04828 178 136 25 17
473 I meant “Straighten yourself out” figuratively, dear. 1.3314 0.04339 169 121 40 8
474 You missed a few wrinkles on your face, dear 1.3314 0.04652 169 125 32 12
475 I know you're afraid of getting wrinkles, but... 1.3313 0.04472 166 120 37 9
476 I can suggest an easier way to iron your suit! 1.3313 0.04632 166 122 33 11
477 Well, the suit does make you look thinner now. 1.3313 0.04850 163 122 28 13
478 Perhaps these ‘life hacks’ have gone too far. 1.3313 0.04752 160 118 31 11
479 Why can't you just try diet and exercise like everyone else? 1.3301 0.04187 209 155 39 15
480 Lie flat to press? That’s not what it means. 1.3301 0.04296 209 157 35 17
481 Flattery will get you nowhere, Ted. 1.3301 0.04285 206 154 36 16
482 Don't worry; I've got your back. 1.3300 0.04386 203 153 33 17
483 Frank, I thought you were depressed, not pressed! 1.3299 0.04120 197 143 43 11
484 You’ve never looked so hot. 1.3299 0.04532 194 147 30 17
485 You need a little more starch in your backbone 1.3298 0.04336 191 141 37 13
486 No, I said "Do you want to see the Thin Man" 1.3298 0.04448 188 140 34 14
487 We could iron things out just by talking. 1.3298 0.04252 188 137 40 11
488 You seem like you've been under a lot of pressure lately. 1.3297 0.04366 185 136 37 12
489 OK, so I misunderstood when you said ‘pressing business to deal with…’ 1.3297 0.04229 185 134 41 10
490 Any other pressing needs? 1.3296 0.04536 179 133 33 13
491 I told you not to put so much pressure on yourself. 1.3296 0.04395 179 131 37 11
492 Ok. We get it. You’ve been through the wringer. 1.3295 0.04347 173 125 39 9
493 When the doctor told you that you needed more iron, he meant supplements. 1.3295 0.04573 173 128 33 12
494 Great, now I'll have to fold you." 1.3293 0.04450 167 121 37 9
495 Needs starch. 1.3293 0.04368 167 120 39 8
496 You look like you've been through the wringer. 1.3289 0.04552 152 109 36 7
497 It's only a videoconference. No one will notice. 1.3285 0.03924 207 149 48 10
498 I know you said you were pressed for time, but this is ridiculous. 1.3285 0.03924 207 149 48 10
499 I'd ask what's going on, but I don't want to press. 1.3285 0.04376 207 157 32 18
500 Hon, I told you you need more starch in your diet." 1.3284 0.04082 204 149 43 12
501 This is what happens when you put too much pressure on yourself 1.3283 0.04226 198 146 39 13
502 Ok, ok, I'll call you Iron Man. Will you now stop this nonsense?” 1.3280 0.04166 189 137 42 10
503 I’m impressed. I can’t wait to see how you screw up vacuuming. 1.3280 0.04791 186 144 23 19
504 Please tell me you didn’t select permanent press. 1.3277 0.04706 177 134 28 15
505 But it's casual Friday 1.3274 0.04738 168 126 29 13
506 When I said to go flat-out for the costume party, this isn’t what I meant. 1.3268 0.04892 153 114 28 11
507 When I said we need to iron out our problems, I was thinking more, like, couples therapy. 1.3266 0.04086 199 145 43 11
508 I've heard of weaponized incompetence,but this seems self-inflicted. 1.3265 0.04373 196 147 34 15
509 Doing it in no-time flat is only an expression. 1.3263 0.04214 190 139 40 11
510 You didn't set it to permanent press, did you? 1.3262 0.04584 187 142 29 16
511 You can now find your lost ring under the cabinets. 1.3261 0.04094 184 132 44 8
512 That's not what I meant when I told you to straighten yourself out! 1.3260 0.04354 181 133 37 11
513 It works better if you take your clothes off first 1.3258 0.04475 178 132 34 12
514 Good news-- the airfare came down. You don't have to go in the suitcase. 1.3256 0.04508 172 127 34 11
515 'To have and to fold' weren't part of our wedding vows. 1.3256 0.04870 172 132 24 16
516 Pretty sure this isn’t what the doctor meant when he said you need more iron 1.3256 0.04729 172 130 28 14
517 Suicide's not your thing. 1.3252 0.04164 206 153 39 14
518 Now THAT'S Irony! 1.3252 0.03930 206 149 47 10
519 You must be the guy from 2D. 1.3251 0.04028 203 148 44 11
520 But today’s casual Friday. 1.3248 0.04800 157 117 29 11
521 Botox is easier. 1.3247 0.04087 194 141 43 10
522 I’m impressed. But so are you. 1.3247 0.04216 194 143 39 12
523 For goodness sakes Edward, stop being so two dimensional! 1.3246 0.04195 191 140 40 11
524 You coulda just used the steamer, Stanley 1.3245 0.05021 151 114 25 12
525 I knew he had a pressing issue, but I never thought it would come to this. 1.3245 0.04560 151 109 35 7
526 Next clue: You work in the Flatiron District. 1.3245 0.04173 188 137 41 10
527 Now what's this pressing problem that's so important? 1.3242 0.04263 182 133 39 10
528 Couldn’t you be like everyone else and use Botox? 1.3240 0.04163 179 129 42 8
529 No, you still can't come in my suitcase. 1.3237 0.04560 173 129 32 12
530 The pants crease should run down the center of the legs. 1.3235 0.04462 170 125 35 10
531 This is exactly why I don’t let you use the sink disposal 1.3235 0.04690 170 128 29 13
532 Now fold yourself up and get back in the closet. 1.3235 0.04540 170 126 33 11
533 Margaret remains skeptical about the iron-on backbone. 1.3228 0.04689 158 117 31 10
534 Now all you need is Nyacin and Riboflavin 1.3226 0.04267 186 137 38 11
535 Limbo night again? 1.3226 0.04751 155 115 30 10
536 Did you clean the lint screen after you pulled yourself out of the dryer? 1.3224 0.04904 152 114 27 11
537 You just don't understand irony! 1.3220 0.04694 177 135 27 15
538 are you being ironic? 1.3220 0.04394 205 157 30 18
539 Ironic, isn't it? 1.3220 0.04284 205 155 34 16
540 Well, I guess, you straightened yourself out. 1.3219 0.04950 146 109 27 10
541 I know it saves time, but. . .. 1.3219 0.04950 146 109 27 10
542 Now that you're two-dimensional, you can run for Congress. 1.3218 0.04752 174 133 26 15
543 Not nearly as fun as rolling around in the drying machine 1.3217 0.04922 143 106 28 9
544 Still want me to show you the paper shredder? 1.3216 0.04667 171 129 29 13
545 No, I think a different color tie would be better. 1.3214 0.04800 168 128 26 14
546 I meant BY yourself. 1.3214 0.04493 168 124 34 10
547 At least you weren't trying to mow the lawn. 1.3211 0.04397 190 143 33 14
548 OK, OK, you're pressed for time, I got it. 1.3208 0.04748 159 119 29 11
549 But why? The cleaning lady comes tomorrow. 1.3207 0.04153 184 134 41 9
550 I think you have an iron deficiency. 1.3198 0.04643 172 130 29 13
551 It says, "to lay it flat so that it is wrinkle-free on the ironing board." 1.3195 0.04228 169 122 40 7
552 I was talking about the wrinkle in our relationship 1.3195 0.04549 169 126 32 11
553 Don't think this is what the Doctor meant about needing more iron. 1.3193 0.04276 166 120 39 7
554 You found the flat-out idiot setting. 1.3191 0.04489 188 143 30 15
555 When you're finished here, I need you to vacuum under the bed. 1.3190 0.04497 163 120 34 9
556 I still think the airline is going to charge you for a full seat. 1.3188 0.04805 160 121 27 12
557 Yes, I heard you say you had a pressing engagement, but… 1.3188 0.04377 160 116 37 7
558 It says right on the iron, 'Do Not Iron Clothes While Wearing Them. ' 1.3187 0.04527 182 138 30 14
559 Next time have yourself dry cleaned. 1.3185 0.04337 157 113 38 6
560 This looks like a YOU problem. 1.3184 0.03995 179 128 45 6
561 Did your mother ever teach you how to do anything? 1.3184 0.04149 179 130 41 8
562 I'm afraid he's run out of steam." 1.3184 0.04149 179 130 41 8
563 Want me to do your right hand? 1.3182 0.04635 176 134 28 14
564 Not what I meant by an iron supplement. 1.3182 0.04271 176 129 38 9
565 No, I will not give you a blow job. 1.3182 0.05105 154 119 21 14
566 I don’t think that’s what the therapist meant when she said you had some issues to iron out… 1.3182 0.04420 176 131 34 11
567 Honey that’s not what the doctor meant by iron supplements 1.3179 0.04186 195 145 38 12
568 You missed a spot. 1.3179 0.04319 173 127 37 9
569 Flatery will get you nowhere 1.3179 0.04543 151 110 34 7
570 Some Ironman -- we're not impressed. 1.3177 0.04419 192 146 31 15
571 The irony is, you’re still wrinkled. 1.3176 0.04602 170 128 30 12
572 At least I didn’t take you to the cleaners! 1.3176 0.04895 170 132 22 16
573 You need more starch. 1.3176 0.04602 148 108 33 7
574 You are so dramatic. Give me the iron. 1.3176 0.04892 148 111 27 10
575 Gee, I'm glad now I didn't ask you to dice the cucumber. 1.3174 0.04659 167 126 29 12
576 I assume you're done with the iron? 1.3174 0.04338 167 122 37 8
577 So you're just going to flat-out lie? 1.3172 0.04519 186 142 29 15
578 It's "Iron-Man", honey, NOT "Ironed Man". 1.3171 0.04797 164 125 26 13
579 Honey, this is not what I meant by ironing out our differences. 1.3171 0.04557 164 122 32 10
580 Any other pressing issues 1.3171 0.04797 164 125 26 13
581 Well no, actually the irony is not lost on me. 1.3169 0.04301 183 136 36 11
582 You are not iron man! 1.3167 0.04420 180 135 33 12
583 Carry-on is ambitious but I think you'll fit nicely into the roller. 1.3165 0.04407 158 115 36 7
584 That's not the way to straighten out your life, Paul. 1.3164 0.04325 177 131 36 10
585 You still need to take your iron supplements 1.3164 0.04399 177 132 34 11
586 Not what I meant when I asked you to straighten things up! 1.3164 0.04018 177 127 44 6
587 I told you. Most people don’t get irony. 1.3162 0.05187 136 103 23 10
588 You might try the Fluff Cycle next time 1.3161 0.04524 174 131 31 12
589 I meant more iron in your diet 1.3158 0.04256 190 142 36 12
590 You gotta know when to fold 'em. 1.3158 0.04055 190 139 42 9
591 Congratulations on completing the iron man marathon. 1.3158 0.04426 171 127 34 10
592 You forgot to take out the trash 1.3154 0.05047 149 114 23 12
593 I walked the dog while you were in the dryer. 1.3152 0.04533 165 123 32 10
594 I'll let the Coopers know we're going to be late. 1.3152 0.04694 165 125 28 12
595 Pressed for time? 1.3148 0.04673 162 122 29 11
596 Yes, dear, I get it — ironing out the kinks — that's very funny. 1.3148 0.05368 108 79 24 5
597 Every time, Steve. Every. Single. Time. 1.3148 0.04505 162 120 33 9
598 I'd say we can fit you in a carry-on bag. 1.3143 0.04277 175 129 37 9
599 I said, "you can do the ironing yourself", not "iron yourself". 1.3143 0.04716 175 135 25 15
600 See, this is what I'm talking about. Weaponized Incompetence 1.3141 0.05048 156 121 21 14
601 This is not how you treat iron-deficiency! 1.3141 0.04796 156 118 27 11
602 I’m not folding you into my carry-on bag just to save a few bucks. 1.3140 0.04404 172 128 34 10
603 You know, this is not solving your iron deficiency. 1.3137 0.04861 153 116 26 11
604 We’ve talked about this. Take them off first. 1.3136 0.04128 169 122 41 6
605 Thanks for being so flexible. 1.3133 0.04647 150 111 31 8
606 Well, this certainly adds a new wrinkle. 1.3131 0.04314 198 151 32 15
607 You must be the new flatmate. 1.3128 0.04499 179 136 30 13
608 He said he was going for a steam! 1.3125 0.04875 144 108 27 9
609 This is weaponized incompetence. 1.3125 0.04974 144 109 25 10
610 You could have hit the Delicates cycle ! 1.3125 0.04153 192 143 38 11
611 Still trying to slip out the back, Jack? 1.3125 0.04974 144 109 25 10
612 Did you really need me to tell you to take it off before you ironed it? 1.3122 0.04393 189 144 31 14
613 Remember when we were young and wrinkle free? 1.3122 0.04263 189 142 35 12
614 This is not what I meant when I said you needed more iron. 1.3121 0.04683 157 118 29 10
615 I see you're pressed for time 1.3121 0.04627 141 103 32 6
616 This is what happens to kitties who go outside the litter box. Any questions? 1.3121 0.05339 141 110 18 13
617 You do look slimmer.. 1.3117 0.04468 154 113 34 7
618 This isn't what I meant when I said you've got a few wrinkles to iron out. 1.3117 0.04654 154 115 30 9
619 You might have misunderstood me. 1.3116 0.03989 199 147 42 10
620 You missed your forehead again. 1.3108 0.04968 148 113 24 11
621 Talk about self-irony!!! 1.3108 0.04780 148 111 28 9
622 So you really were all hot air! 1.3106 0.04513 161 120 32 9
623 Let me guess -- from a YouTube video? 1.3106 0.04513 161 120 32 9
624 Don’t you think Botox would have been easier? 1.3103 0.04846 145 109 27 9
625 Told you we needed a longer ironing board. 1.3101 0.04481 158 117 33 8
626 I guess you have become somewhat one-dimensional. 1.3099 0.03827 171 121 47 3
627 Marvel called. They're going with Robert Downey, Jr. 1.3099 0.05016 142 108 24 10
628 That suit is quite flattering 1.3098 0.04268 184 138 35 11
629 You have to be careful with these new AI irons. 1.3097 0.04892 155 119 24 12
630 You missed the wrinkles on your forehead. 1.3094 0.04524 181 139 28 14
631 You've got to stop drinking the fabric softener, Frank. 1.3094 0.04987 139 105 25 9
632 I think you had the setting too high 1.3092 0.04402 152 111 35 6
633 Great, now you can fold. 1.3087 0.04457 149 109 34 6
634 Usually its women in comics who are two-dimensional. 1.3087 0.05030 149 115 22 12
635 Next time try doing it before you put them on. 1.3086 0.04574 162 122 30 10
636 This isn't what I meant by saying we need to "iron things out". 1.3086 0.04898 162 126 22 14
637 For future reference, that’s a no-iron suit. 1.3086 0.04632 175 135 26 14
638 This is why I never let you help around the house. 1.3085 0.04065 188 139 40 9
639 I bet your phone's in the lint trap. 1.3083 0.05139 133 101 23 9
640 Just the clothes next time. 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
641 I'm looking for someone with more depth. 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
642 You’re half the man you were when I married you! 1.3077 0.04673 169 130 26 13
643 This is not what I meant by ironing out our differences. 1.3077 0.04783 143 107 28 8
644 On second thought, I’ll do the dishes. 1.3067 0.04632 163 124 28 11
645 This relationship is becoming two dimensional. 1.3067 0.04466 163 122 32 9
646 Honey - Looks like you ironed out your issues. 1.3064 0.04211 173 128 37 8
647 Maybe we should go over this one more time. 1.3062 0.04252 160 117 37 6
648 Permanent Press is not a verb, Edward. 1.3057 0.04578 157 118 30 9
649 This isn’t what I meant when I said, “You’re perfectly capable of ironing yourself.” 1.3057 0.04922 157 122 22 13
650 We can’t fit dry cleaning into our budget anymore. Cat treats went up. 1.3057 0.05164 157 125 16 16
651 And that would be a flat out NO ? 1.3056 0.04438 144 105 34 5
652 You've completely ruined the crease in your pants. 1.3054 0.04390 167 125 33 9
653 I still think you should just mail your résumé. 1.3053 0.05407 131 102 18 11
654 Sure it's art, but will it pay the rent? 1.3053 0.04953 131 98 26 7
655 Hmmm. I guess the press really is the enemy of the people. 1.3052 0.04989 154 120 21 13
656 But I like that you have a few wrinkles. 1.3051 0.04222 177 132 36 9
657 Your boss called. Said you’ve used up all your limp days. 1.3050 0.05027 141 108 23 10
658 I don’t care if your boss threatened to “hang you out to dry”. 1.3050 0.04495 141 103 33 5
659 Don’t forget to pull out the plug after ironing. 1.3050 0.04925 141 107 25 9
660 He certainly ironed things out! 1.3049 0.04442 164 123 32 9
661 You look depressed… 1.3043 0.04666 161 123 27 11
662 If anyone asks, I'll tell them you're spread too thin. 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
663 I'm don't want to play "Flat Stanley" with you; I have a headache tonight. 1.3043 0.04324 184 140 32 12
664 Please tell me you left a note. 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
665 I told you to take the suit off First. 1.3041 0.04317 171 128 34 9
666 You'll do well in the ironed-man competition 1.3041 0.04950 148 114 23 11
667 Would you like me to put you on a hanger, or should I just fold you up 1.3038 0.05056 158 125 18 15
668 Feel like pancakes? 1.3037 0.04734 135 100 29 6
669 Training for the ironman competition? 1.3034 0.04727 145 109 28 8
670 One more stunt like this and I’m taking you to the dry cleaners 1.3034 0.04624 145 108 30 7
671 George, I know you're dealing with some pressing matters right now, but we need to talk 1.3034 0.04827 145 110 26 9
672 The persistence of irony? 1.3032 0.04611 155 117 29 9
673 Oh good! You can fit in the carry-on suitcase now. 1.3030 0.04161 165 121 38 6
674 If nothing's pressing, do you have a moment. 1.3028 0.04687 142 106 29 7
675 Ironing out your problems I see. 1.3026 0.04763 152 116 26 10
676 Oh wow, I didn't know it had a Dali setting. 1.3026 0.05201 152 121 16 15
677 Maybe I used too much starch! 1.3025 0.04208 162 119 37 6
678 It looks like you've ironed things out! 1.3023 0.04873 129 96 27 6
679 How is this my fault? 1.3023 0.04873 129 96 27 6
680 There are better and easier ways to lose weight. 1.3019 0.04256 159 117 36 6
681 You missed a spot, or are you just happy to see me? 1.3019 0.04528 159 120 30 9
682 I take it you’re mother did all your ironing. 1.3019 0.04439 159 119 32 8
683 We have a smart washer and dryer but a dumb iron. 1.3018 0.04180 169 125 37 7
684 I was just pressing you for an answer 1.3013 0.04401 156 116 33 7
685 Nice try but, yes, I still expect you to do your own laundry. 1.3013 0.04306 156 115 35 6
686 Another meeting with the flat-Earthers? 1.3013 0.04848 156 121 23 12
687 I SAID, I'll do it. 1.3008 0.05227 133 103 20 10
688 I told you we needed a surge protector.” 1.3007 0.04763 143 108 27 8
689 I like your plan, there's just one wrinkle. 1.3007 0.04551 153 115 30 8
690 I appreciate that you're now foldable and easy to vacuum seal 'n stow, but when I said there wasn't space in my life for you.... 1.3007 0.05087 153 121 18 14
691 You always fold too easily! 1.3007 0.04456 153 114 32 7
692 The doctor said you need more starch and less iron. 1.3000 0.04921 160 126 20 14
693 Starch! 1.3000 0.04723 140 105 28 7
694 Not what I meant by "iron out our problems" 1.3000 0.04309 150 110 35 5
695 So you really are pressed for time. 1.3000 0.05197 130 100 21 9
696 The Iron Man Diet, you say? 1.3000 0.04504 160 121 30 9
697 What? The tag said "To iron, lie on flat surface." 1.3000 0.04675 160 123 26 11
698 This is why you’re supposed to wait 45 minutes before having another gummy! 1.3000 0.05139 140 109 20 11
699 No I don't consider it ironic. 1.2994 0.04119 167 123 38 6
700 Turn over and I'll do the back. 1.2994 0.04649 157 120 27 10
701 This is your “pressing matter”? 1.2994 0.04470 157 118 31 8
702 Steve, I have had enough of your irony. 1.2994 0.04377 157 117 33 7
703 Told you not to iron your clothes while you are wearing them! 1.2992 0.04913 127 95 26 6
704 You put too much pressure on yourself. 1.2988 0.04340 164 123 33 8
705 My mother told me you were spineless. 1.2987 0.04886 154 120 22 12
706 when you've never actually operated the equipment, it's apparently a good idea to ask some who has. 1.2987 0.04886 154 120 22 12
707 Would you like me to show you the right way to do it? 1.2987 0.04526 154 116 30 8
708 If you turn over, I can get your back. 1.2986 0.04631 144 108 29 7
709 Missed a spot. 1.2986 0.05128 144 113 19 12
710 Training for this year’s ironman? 1.2983 0.04142 181 136 36 9
711 You have to take the clothes off first. 1.2982 0.04381 171 130 31 10
712 He was hard pressed to get going today 1.2981 0.04479 161 122 30 9
713 You swear you read the instructions? 1.2981 0.04565 161 123 28 10
714 Mailing yourself to Antigua won't save us that much money, Harold. 1.2981 0.04303 161 120 34 7
715 Next time use some starch. 1.2980 0.04285 151 111 35 5
716 Now we're officially flat broke" 1.2980 0.04584 151 114 29 8
717 I didn't quite mean that when I said you should go flat out 1.2980 0.04387 151 112 33 6
718 Oh stop being ironic. 1.2979 0.04585 141 105 30 6
719 This isn’t what I meant when I said “you’d better straighten yourself out.” 1.2977 0.04809 131 98 27 6
720 I appreciate your effort, but going flat out is a figure of speech. 1.2975 0.04794 158 123 23 12
721 Don't move, I'm getting my camera. 1.2975 0.04878 158 124 21 13
722 I told you it said remove clothes before use. 1.2975 0.04710 158 122 25 11
723 How do you propose to do the right sleeve? 1.2975 0.04623 158 121 27 10
724 Oh good! You’ve ironed out the details 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
725 You're training for the wrong Ironman. 1.2973 0.04742 148 113 26 9
726 Yes it makes you easier to fold but no easier to get along with . 1.2973 0.04442 148 110 32 6
727 I felt a pressing need to iron things out 1.2971 0.04074 175 130 38 7
728 You forgot your face 1.2971 0.04869 138 105 25 8
729 I still think the striped one makes you look taller. 1.2971 0.05385 138 110 15 13
730 That isn’t what they mean by permanent press! 1.2968 0.04501 155 117 30 8
731 Richard, it’s not working out. I need a man who won’t fold under pressure. 1.2968 0.04683 155 119 26 10
732 Maybe I should have sent him to the dry cleaners 1.2966 0.04706 145 110 27 8
733 If this is how you iron your clothes. . . I can't wait to see how you clean the toilet. 1.2966 0.05002 145 113 21 11
734 Do you think this body pillow will fool my parents? 1.2963 0.04097 162 119 38 5
735 Should I fluff you up in the dryer? 1.2963 0.04711 135 101 28 6
736 Well, I think you come out better when I send you to the dry cleaners. 1.2963 0.04592 135 100 30 5
737 You look great Stanley, now get out there and start sliding under some doors! 1.2961 0.04925 152 119 21 12
738 Jack, you need more starch in your diet. 1.2961 0.04261 152 112 35 5
739 I just meant to eat more spinach. 1.2961 0.04558 152 115 29 8
740 We told you, no amount of starch can make up for being spineless. 1.2956 0.04684 159 123 25 11
741 I don’t think the couples therapist wants us to literally iron out our differences. 1.2956 0.04510 159 121 29 9
742 You’re going to want the permanent press setting. 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
743 Yes,perfect. Now just slide under your bosses door and delete that angry email you sent them. 1.2955 0.05349 132 104 17 11
744 Great! Now I'll have to bring you to the used car lot to have you inflated. 1.2953 0.04809 149 115 24 10
745 You missed your collar. 1.2950 0.04838 139 106 25 8
746 I know that you're always pressed for time but you took it to the extreme. 1.2949 0.04287 156 116 34 6
747 Looks like he flat out lost it. 1.2949 0.04287 156 116 34 6
748 That's not what the doctor meant when he said you needed more iron. 1.2949 0.04189 156 115 36 5
749 Ah the iron-y 1.2949 0.04657 156 120 26 10
750 Now that we’ve ironed out my issues… 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
751 Always have to do everything yourself. 1.2946 0.04721 129 96 28 5
752 Now all your other clothes won't fit. 1.2946 0.04721 129 96 28 5
753 Is this weaponized incompetence? 1.2946 0.04848 129 97 26 6
754 I still think taking diet pills is easier. 1.2946 0.04591 129 95 30 4
755 I said not to use permanent press. 1.2945 0.04778 146 112 25 9
756 Dammit, Stanley! 1.2945 0.04600 163 126 26 11
757 No, I said I love you because you're so ironic 1.2945 0.04681 163 127 24 12
758 All I said was “Let’s talk it over and iron things out.” 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
759 I know we have things to iron out but you don’t have to be so dramatic about it. 1.2945 0.04600 163 126 26 11
760 He did say he had a pressing problem. 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
761 You never listen. I told you that suit was dry clean only ! 1.2941 0.05231 136 107 18 11
762 I think you need the fluff cycle. 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
763 Did you get the stain out first? 1.2941 0.04307 170 129 32 9
764 Yeah... you should stick to dry cleaning. 1.2941 0.05126 136 106 20 10
765 Your suit is very flat-tering 1.2941 0.04436 153 115 31 7
766 Nice try. I’m still not ironing your shirts. 1.2938 0.04114 177 133 36 8
767 First, it’s WASHboard abs. Second, it’s only metaphorical. 1.2937 0.04945 143 111 22 10
768 When I said iron it yourself, I thought you knew how. 1.2934 0.04188 167 125 35 7
769 Well, at least you got that all ironed out. 1.2933 0.04492 150 113 30 7
770 I told you to take them off before you iron them. 1.2931 0.04391 174 134 29 11
771 Flat Stanley gets ready for the day. 1.2929 0.04914 140 108 23 9
772 Oh, you literally meant you were put through the wringer. 1.2927 0.04861 123 92 26 5
773 You do look thinner. 1.2924 0.04204 171 129 34 8
774 Don't forget to fold yourself. 1.2923 0.04690 130 97 28 5
775 I can’t even fold a fitted sheet. 1.2923 0.04938 130 99 24 7
776 The irony is painful. 1.2922 0.04691 154 119 25 10
777 I'll say it again: That's not irony. 1.2922 0.04506 154 117 29 8
778 I warned you about the voice-activation feature! 1.2922 0.04691 154 119 25 10
779 Well,I'm glad we got that ironed out. 1.2922 0.04600 154 118 27 9
780 Oh, I meant the triathlon. 1.2922 0.04411 154 116 31 7
781 Tom I feel our relationship is flat. And I’m taking the cat 1.2922 0.04411 154 116 31 7
782 I said our differences could be ironed out! 1.2920 0.04535 137 102 30 5
783 Marvin, your obligations as president of the Flat Earth Society do not require this! 1.2919 0.04284 161 121 33 7
784 Anti-wrinkle cream would be easier. 1.2917 0.04609 144 109 28 7
785 I'm glad that we were able to iron out our differences. 1.2917 0.04394 144 107 32 5
786 The guy in 12B told me you flatlined in the laundry room. 1.2917 0.04609 144 109 28 7
787 You forgot the starch, didn't you. 1.2913 0.05013 127 97 23 7
788 I checked your birth certificate and it says dry clean only. 1.2913 0.05013 127 97 23 7
789 I'm hard pressed to understand what actually happened. 1.2911 0.04605 158 122 26 10
790 Iron Man my eye. 1.2911 0.04605 158 122 26 10
791 Fluffy, meet the press 1.2910 0.05061 134 104 21 9
792 you cant iron out our problem that way. 1.2908 0.04671 141 107 27 7
793 Self-flattery at its worst 1.2908 0.04779 141 108 25 8
794 Use your words, Greg. 1.2908 0.04779 141 108 25 8
795 There must be an easier way to slim down. 1.2905 0.04623 148 113 27 8
796 It’s my birthday. Take the viagra. 1.2905 0.04818 148 115 23 10
797 I told you never to use the Dali setting ! 1.2905 0.04722 148 114 25 9
798 You have no sense of irony. 1.2905 0.04818 148 115 23 10
799 Turns out, you are an empty suit! 1.2903 0.04481 155 118 29 8
800 I don't think this is what the doctor meant when she said you needed to increase your iron. 1.2903 0.04753 155 121 23 11
801 Oh, please! All I said is "Let's iron out our differences." Why all the melodrama? 1.2903 0.04753 155 121 23 11
802 Jim, when I urged you to iron things out, I had talking and listening in mind ! 1.2901 0.05024 131 101 22 8
803 Slip in under the door” is just an expression 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
804 I see you were able to iron out all your problems. 1.2899 0.04736 138 105 26 7
805 All I said was I have a pressing problem 1.2899 0.04507 138 103 30 5
806 True--you do look hot and thin. 1.2897 0.04476 145 109 30 6
807 the cat isn't the only one judging you right now. 1.2897 0.04368 145 108 32 5
808 So sorry! I thought you were talking about your latest work project when you quipped that you just needed "to iron out a few wrinkles!" 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
809 I suppose you want me to fold 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
810 The crease in your pants should be in the middle. 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
811 Next time just ignore your mother when she says you look fat. 1.2889 0.04318 135 99 33 3
812 Don't worry, honey, it happens to lots of guys. 1.2889 0.04687 135 102 27 6
813 That’s not what I meant when I told you to get it straight. 1.2886 0.04497 149 113 29 7
814 Whatever suits you best. 1.2886 0.04395 149 112 31 6
815 It usually works better if you take your clothes OFF first. 1.2885 0.04068 156 115 37 4
816 You appear to have a literal view of irony. 1.2885 0.04068 156 115 37 4
817 The doctor told me I had an iron deficiency. 1.2882 0.04603 170 134 23 13
818 Honey, you are low on iron! 1.2878 0.04706 139 106 26 7
819 So much better this time. But you still haven't learned to do the crease in the trousers. 1.2878 0.05028 139 109 20 10
820 “This is not the way to iron out our differences?’ 1.2878 0.04361 139 103 32 4
821 And you didn't even empty the pockets? 1.2878 0.04816 139 107 24 8
822 When things are a little tough you fold too easily. 1.2878 0.04706 139 106 26 7
823 I like the initiative,but next time take the clothes off first. 1.2877 0.04450 146 110 30 6
824 I can loan you a cream to remove wrinkles 1.2877 0.04342 146 109 32 5
825 I flat out say no! 1.2876 0.04512 153 117 28 8
826 You still think starch will make me fat? 1.2876 0.04216 153 114 34 5
827 Oh honey, you always go overboard. 1.2876 0.04699 153 119 24 10
828 Okay, you missed under your eyes. 1.2870 0.05206 115 88 21 6
829 I thought it was casual Friday. 1.2870 0.05057 115 87 23 5
830 You need to lay on your side to pleat your pants. 1.2869 0.04866 122 92 25 5
831 We have some pressing issues to discuss. 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
832 I hope you didn't use Permanent Press. 1.2868 0.04995 136 106 21 9
833 Sure, the wrinkles are gone. But what about the static cling? 1.2868 0.04885 136 105 23 8
834 You’re supposed to take your clothes off before you iron them 1.2868 0.04885 136 105 23 8
835 Yes, that suit definitely makes you look flat. 1.2867 0.04507 143 108 29 6
836 Your forehead is wrinkled. 1.2867 0.04507 143 108 29 6
837 You promised that you were low maintenance. 1.2867 0.04283 143 106 33 4
838 I think I like you better as a stuffed shirt. 1.2867 0.04720 143 110 25 8
839 Your mother is right, you need more starch in your diet! 1.2867 0.04615 143 109 27 7
840 Well, I'm pressed for time. 1.2867 0.04160 150 111 35 4
841 Did you set the temperature for permanent press ? 1.2867 0.04471 150 114 29 7
842 You'll never be a writer, John; your attempts at irony are just flat. 1.2867 0.04946 150 119 19 12
843 See? I told you we could iron out our differences. 1.2866 0.03944 157 115 39 3
844 Well, isn't this ironic! 1.2866 0.04523 157 121 27 9
845 I see you’ve ironed out your kinks! 1.2857 0.04317 147 110 32 5
846 Don't worry, I'm empty inside. 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
847 No, I won't do your right hand for you! 1.2857 0.05356 119 93 18 8
848 Sorry, I meant to say, “Iron IT yourself”! 1.2857 0.04574 175 139 22 14
849 Nice try, honey, but we're both still going to Susan's baby shower. 1.2857 0.04630 147 113 26 8
850 I hope you didn’t use the permanent press setting. 1.2857 0.04841 133 102 24 7
851 Looks like you have a pressing problem. 1.2857 0.04149 168 127 34 7
852 So, you've ironed out our differences? 1.2857 0.04630 147 113 26 8
853 You and your pressing needs. 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
854 This does not make up for you calling me flat chested. 1.2857 0.04762 154 121 22 11
855 You were pressed for time I suppose? 1.2857 0.04424 147 111 30 6
856 I said we need to iron out some things in our relationship. 1.2848 0.04106 165 124 35 6
857 Did you iron out all your issues???? 1.2848 0.04282 165 126 31 8
858 Babe, I think you’re eating too much starch. 1.2848 0.04451 165 128 27 10
859 I didn't mean it literally! 1.2848 0.04242 151 113 33 5
860 When I said you'd get thinner if you switched to steaming I was talking about vegetables. 1.2848 0.04640 151 117 25 9
861 You’re pressing too much. It leaves you flat. 1.2847 0.04258 144 107 33 4
862 It is called permanent press. You don't have to iron it. 1.2847 0.04742 137 105 25 7
863 Well I see you've ironed out that little problem you've been working on. 1.2847 0.04742 137 105 25 7
864 If you've finished ironing, then it's time to fold and put away." 1.2847 0.04510 137 103 29 5
865 No, no, I wanted you to have WASHboard abs." 1.2846 0.05149 130 102 19 9
866 Good job, Sweetie, but first, you're supposed to remove your clothes. 1.2846 0.05356 123 97 17 9
867 So, how do you like being on the condo board? 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
868 Don't think this means I'm doing the folding. 1.2840 0.04242 162 123 32 7
869 Have you considered the benefits of becoming a drip-dry kind of guy? 1.2840 0.04419 162 125 28 9
870 You'll still look terrible on Zoom. 1.2839 0.04366 155 118 30 7
871 Now I suppose you want me to call you Iron Man. 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
872 Oh, that’s great, Ted. And the Fettermans will be here any minute. 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
873 Do you prefer rolled or folded? 1.2837 0.04756 141 109 24 8
874 Perfect! Goes with your flat affect. 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
875 “OK, you can still fit into your wedding suit.” 1.2837 0.04861 141 110 22 9
876 You're gonna crush that limbo contest tonight! 1.2836 0.05255 134 107 16 11
877 Yes I can see your feeling flat...have you had a coffee? 1.2835 0.05111 127 99 20 8
878 Would you prefer a wooden or a wire hanger? 1.2832 0.05102 113 86 22 5
879 Let's iron things out" WAS just a figure of speech.. 1.2829 0.04320 152 115 31 6
880 I guess my instructions weren’t specific enough. 1.2829 0.04706 152 119 23 10
881 I think you're stretched too thin. 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
882 He did tell me he had a pressing engagement. 1.2826 0.04482 138 104 29 5
883 I guess you do have some pressing problems. 1.2826 0.04598 138 105 27 6
884 She's still not going to forgive you for losing Flat Stanley. 1.2826 0.04712 138 106 25 7
885 So, you were telling the truth when you said: "I don't know how to iron?" 1.2824 0.05228 131 104 17 10
886 "Could you slip in behind the stove and find Frodo's ball?" 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
887 The best part is I’ll only need to pay for carry-on. 1.2823 0.04370 124 91 31 2
888 I guess you misheard when I said you can use a bit of self irony once in a while 1.2823 0.04933 124 95 23 6
889 My therapist said I need to stop seeing you as so one dimensional 1.2821 0.04147 156 117 34 5
890 You need vitamins with iron. 1.2821 0.04832 117 88 25 4
891 Am I wearing you thin? 1.2821 0.05128 117 90 21 6
892 Sorry to see you are flat out. 1.2821 0.04677 117 87 27 3
893 So this is what you mean by having pressing business to deal with. 1.2819 0.04673 149 116 24 9
894 Ugh. How many times do I have to tell you to take the suit off first? 1.2817 0.04727 142 110 24 8
895 That was the best best sales pitch I’ve ever seen but still, I really don’t need a new iron. 1.2817 0.05034 142 113 18 11
896 I said go iron IT yourself! 1.2817 0.04620 142 109 26 7
897 My eyes are up here. 1.2817 0.04934 142 112 20 10
898 Next time try it without the steam. 1.2815 0.04661 135 103 26 6
899 Honestly, Stanley! You’re flat enough. 1.2815 0.05004 135 106 20 9
900 You're still using too much steam. 1.2815 0.04778 135 104 24 7
901 Don't feel bad. Sheila's husband is still in rehab from static cling. 1.2812 0.04827 128 98 24 6
902 It's wash and wear, Stanley. 1.2810 0.04679 153 120 23 10
903 Now I have an iron clad reason to complain about your obsession with Salvador Dali” 1.2810 0.04586 153 119 25 9
904 I think this Salvador Dali fixation has gone too far! 1.2810 0.04947 153 123 17 13
905 Well, he did say he had some details to iron out... 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
906 You told me you were on the board, but this is a whole different story.” Lucy Hine (age 10), Leland, Michiga 1.2810 0.05407 121 96 16 9
907 I've been under a lot of pressure lately. 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
908 Didn’t I tell you not to get too close to the Pasta machine! 1.2809 0.04434 178 141 24 13
909 I hope that’s not a permanent press. 1.2808 0.04932 146 116 19 11
910 I actually didn't mind your wrinkles. 1.2807 0.04746 114 85 26 3
911 Botox would have been a less painful approach for wrinkle removal. 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
912 Taking the subway again? 1.2806 0.05005 139 110 19 10
913 A little spray starch will fix you right up. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
914 Let’s hope it’s not permanent press. 1.2805 0.04372 164 127 28 9
915 I'm afraid I don't like your Ironman persona as well. 1.2805 0.04372 164 127 28 9
916 Jeeze! Hope it's not permanent press. 1.2803 0.04965 132 103 21 8
917 This is exactly why I do the laundry. 1.2803 0.04965 132 103 21 8
918 I could’ve thrown you under the bus but I thought no, hanging you out to dry is better. 1.2803 0.04965 132 103 21 8
919 I am still steamed up, though I appreciate your full press surrender 1.2803 0.04475 132 99 29 4
920 This is not what I expected when you told me you were goimg to be hard-pressed today. 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
921 Salvador called---he wants his iron back. 1.2800 0.04741 150 118 22 10
922 On the one hand, I'm thrilled to see you've taken some initiative. 1.2800 0.04449 150 115 28 7
923 Normally you’d take the suit off first 1.2800 0.04337 175 137 27 11
924 When I said you have some issues to iron out, this isn't what I had in mind. 1.2800 0.04646 150 117 24 9
925 It won't matter. Once you get in the car, linen always wrinkles. 1.2800 0.05279 125 99 17 9
926 Mind a suggestion? Next time, remove the suit. 1.2800 0.04899 125 96 23 6
927 Ok. Now turn over and do the back. 1.2800 0.05279 125 99 17 9
928 You're not using enough starch Harold. 1.2800 0.04646 150 117 24 9
929 This is not what they mean by the Ironman competition. 1.2797 0.04592 143 110 26 7
930 As usual you totally missed my point about ironing things out. 1.2797 0.05002 143 114 18 11
931 It's gotta be plugged in first. 1.2797 0.05195 143 116 14 13
932 Honestly dear, that suit makes you look flat. 1.2797 0.04698 143 111 24 8
933 Oh, fuck! 1.2797 0.05231 118 92 19 7
934 Honey, just get botox. 1.2794 0.04631 136 104 26 6
935 OK Ironman, what now. 1.2794 0.04512 136 103 28 5
936 Well I guess you struck while the iron was hot ! 1.2793 0.05748 111 89 13 9
937 Anything to amuse the cat. 1.2793 0.05604 111 88 15 8
938 Flat broke again or just depressed? 1.2791 0.04399 129 96 30 3
939 As usual, Martin, I'm astonished by your lack of depth. 1.2791 0.04666 129 98 26 5
940 Glad you ironed things out here. 1.2791 0.04535 129 97 28 4
941 You need to use more starch with the ‘Dalí’ setting. 1.2789 0.04608 147 114 25 8
942 Honey, I've told you before. You have to take your clothes off BEFORE you iron them. 1.2788 0.04086 165 125 34 6
943 Stanley, I'm glad you got this ironed-out. 1.2787 0.04694 122 92 26 4
944 Perhaps more starch? 1.2787 0.05367 122 97 16 9
945 Frank, I think you ate the cat’s anxiety gummies. 1.2787 0.05239 122 96 18 8
946 Well that adds a wrinkle to our marriage 1.2786 0.04653 140 108 25 7
947 I'll let you slide this time 1.2786 0.04427 140 106 29 5
948 You need a little more starch in your diet. 1.2786 0.04309 140 105 31 4
949 When you said we had issues to iron out, this was not what I had in mind 1.2786 0.04309 140 105 31 4
950 No, I'm not taking you to Hawaii in my luggage, Stanley. 1.2786 0.04541 140 107 27 6
951 When I said I liked thin men, this isn’t what I had in mind. 1.2786 0.04869 140 110 21 9
952 Now that’s what I call hard pressed. 1.2786 0.04427 140 106 29 5
953 My back pain was getting awful and the chiropractor was booked out for a month 1.2786 0.04427 140 106 29 5
954 You seem to have a pressing problem. 1.2782 0.04815 133 103 23 7
955 Well, that's the last wrinkle he'll every complain about. 1.2782 0.04573 133 101 27 5
956 You know it's easier if you take it off first? 1.2782 0.04932 133 104 21 8
957 I'm still not doing it for you. 1.2781 0.04322 151 115 30 6
958 This wasn't what I had in mind when I asked you to straighten yourself out 1.2781 0.04806 151 120 20 11
959 Did you run out of steam? 1.2781 0.04522 151 117 26 8
960 Ironing out the kinks I see 1.2781 0.04219 151 114 32 5
961 you’re so dramatic, that iron isn’t even plugged in. 1.2781 0.05160 151 124 12 15
962 I knew I shouldn't have thrown away the instruction manual 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
963 Your boss called, but I told him you're flat out. 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
964 I said you needed a jacket that flattered you, not flattened you. 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
965 Forgot the starch again Bob? 1.2778 0.04233 144 108 32 4
966 I guess this will make it a little easier having a closeted husband. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
967 That’s not how we iron out our differences! 1.2778 0.04564 144 111 26 7
968 This is really the last time I'm going to show you how to do this 1.2778 0.04669 144 112 24 8
969 This isn't what I meant by "we need to iron a few things out." 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
970 Oh, so you're not THE Ironman 1.2778 0.04669 144 112 24 8
971 So what’s your pressing issue? 1.2778 0.04564 144 111 26 7
972 Another poorly translated care instructions tag? 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
973 You're doing it wrong. 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
974 You do have fewer wrinkles. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
975 Still trying to iron out your issues I see 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
976 Johnny's superhero is Iron Man, not...this. How 'bout I throw you in the fluff cycle for a few spins, you can try again tomorrow? 1.2770 0.04872 148 118 19 11
977 I think you are supposed to take the clothes off before ironing them 1.2770 0.04375 148 113 29 6
978 Well I guess I did tell you to 'Iron yourself' 1.2769 0.04635 130 99 26 5
979 I think I got all the kinks out. 1.2769 0.04635 130 99 26 5
980 Anything pressing before I leave? 1.2769 0.04762 130 100 24 6
981 Honey, you're suppose to take the clothes off before you iron them. But on a positive note, you do look much slimmer. 1.2767 0.04080 159 120 34 5
982 I trust you have it all ironed out? 1.2767 0.04453 159 124 26 9
983 Were you hanging out with those 'flat earthers' again? 1.2766 0.04400 141 107 29 5
984 This is definitely not what the doctor meant when she said you needed more iron 1.2766 0.04624 141 109 25 7
985 Remember what we talked about after I pulled you out of the dryer? 1.2766 0.04838 141 111 21 9
986 That's not how you do hot yoga, honey. 1.2766 0.04624 141 109 25 7
987 The steam setting really works! 1.2766 0.04400 141 107 29 5
988 Still better than what I caught you doing last week. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
989 Forget it, Frank, you're still not gonna fit in my carry-on." 1.2764 0.05328 123 98 16 9
990 Honey,you missed your face. 1.2761 0.05013 134 106 19 9
991 Next time try taking your suit off first. 1.2761 0.04418 134 101 29 4
992 Honey, I said you shouldn't flatter yourself, not flatten yourself. 1.2761 0.04784 134 104 23 7
993 You are supposed to take it off before you iron it! 1.2761 0.04289 134 100 31 3
994 OK you’re pressed ! But what are you gonna do about the cat hair ? 1.2761 0.04376 163 127 27 9
995 Again? I’ll put you in the dryer, you should shrink right up. 1.2759 0.04987 116 89 22 5
996 Ok, I give--you can wear permanent press. 1.2759 0.04208 145 109 32 4
997 You just have to take things easy. You can't go flat out all the time. 1.2759 0.04987 116 89 22 5
998 That usually fixes his back. 1.2756 0.04125 156 118 33 5
999 The real Iron Man didnt complain about a little housework. 1.2756 0.04700 127 97 25 5
1000 I think I know why you're always feeling pressed for time. 1.2756 0.04566 127 96 27 4
1001 No, what I said was you need to learn to express yourself. 1.2756 0.04700 127 97 25 5
1002 The ONE time he offered to help 1.2756 0.04832 127 98 23 6
1003 Not enough starch Ironman. 1.2756 0.05324 127 102 15 10
1004 When I said things would iron themselves out, this is not what I meant. 1.2754 0.04212 138 103 32 3
1005 Tough day at the office, dear? 1.2752 0.04855 109 82 24 3
1006 I told you to use the steamer! 1.2750 0.04728 120 91 25 4
1007 Who taught you to iron your own clothes? 1.2749 0.04313 171 134 27 10
1008 You call this training for the ironman? 1.2748 0.04730 131 101 24 6
1009 My advice - less self-loathing and more starch. 1.2748 0.04853 131 102 22 7
1010 Goodness, whatever happened to my well-rounded guy? 1.2748 0.04853 131 102 22 7
1011 You don't get the irony here? 1.2748 0.04972 131 103 20 8
1012 Wow! Not only did our new AI iron leave you wrinkle-free, it also called 911! 1.2746 0.04911 142 113 19 10
1013 I don't think the doctor meant THAT kind of iron deficiency, dear... 1.2746 0.04703 142 111 23 8
1014 I think you're being too ironic. 1.2746 0.04703 142 111 23 8
1015 We get it dear. No one expects you to take over my fathers laundry business. 1.2746 0.04257 142 107 31 4
1016 You need to let off some steam. 1.2746 0.04596 142 110 25 7
1017 This is not what I meant when I said you have to get yourself straightened out. 1.2745 0.04470 153 119 26 8
1018 Worst. Foreplay. Idea. Ever. 1.2743 0.05370 113 89 17 7
1019 I thought you said you were pressed for time. 1.2742 0.04485 124 93 28 3
1020 I don't think this is what the kids meant when they said they wanted Iron Man for the party. 1.2742 0.04629 124 94 26 4
1021 I said i wish you were like iron man, not ironed man. 1.2742 0.05036 124 97 20 7
1022 Babe, all I said was irony isn't your strong suit 1.2742 0.05164 124 98 18 8
1023 Did you get your issues ironed out? 1.2742 0.04629 124 94 26 4
1024 With all due respect, dear… you might be misunderstanding the doctor’s suggestion you get more iron. 1.2742 0.05036 124 97 20 7
1025 You're a victim of your own press 1.2742 0.04904 124 96 22 6
1026 Is this what you meant when you said we could iron things out? 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1027 Ironic not iron it 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1028 thanks, now I think our issues are pretty much ironed out. 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1029 Face it, this argument is almost over, I can always tell when you're getting ready to fold. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1030 You have to find a better way to iron things out between us. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1031 You're going to need a bigger board. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
1032 Your act is wearing thin. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
1033 But I told you,it was wrinkle-free! 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
1034 Haven’t you taken my desire for more steam in our relationship a bit too far? 1.2734 0.04925 128 100 21 7
1035 No, it doesn't make you look hot at all. 1.2734 0.04668 128 98 25 5
1036 What are you doing?? You know you are dry clean only. 1.2734 0.04798 128 99 23 6
1037 i just ran out of steam 1.2734 0.04925 128 100 21 7
1038 You forgot it’s casual Friday, didn’t you? 1.2734 0.05048 128 101 19 8
1039 I did say to straighten yourself out, but this is going too far. 1.2734 0.04925 128 100 21 7
1040 This is not what I meant by ironing out a few wrinkles in our marriage. 1.2733 0.04324 150 115 29 6
1041 My bad. Take it off first. 1.2733 0.04720 150 119 21 10
1042 You got the wrinkles out but your hair is still a mess ! 1.2727 0.04446 132 100 28 4
1043 Heading out for a walk. Don’t forget to do your head. 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
1044 The label clearly says not to iron your clothes while you are wearing them. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
1045 Laundry Day: Men just can not take the heat or the pressure. 1.2727 0.04114 143 107 33 3
1046 Stanley, next time just use the "Wrinkle Free" setting. 1.2727 0.04568 143 111 25 7
1047 And now the saw... 1.2727 0.05116 121 95 19 7
1048 That's not what I meant when I said you can go iron yourself. 1.2727 0.04821 132 103 22 7
1049 I’ve had it with you. First, you complain about your wrinkles. Now you’re saying you feel depleted? 1.2727 0.05249 121 96 17 8
1050 You’re not supposed to use it on your shoes. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
1051 Shall I call your office and tell them that you're flat on your back? 1.2727 0.04821 132 103 22 7
1052 Ironic, don’t you think? 1.2727 0.04980 143 115 17 11
1053 Just give it to me 1.2727 0.04249 154 118 30 6
1054 If I press him right when he gets home, it saves me so much time in the morning. 1.2727 0.04821 132 103 22 7
1055 So let me get this straight… 1.2722 0.04367 158 123 27 8
1056 Look! You can be impressed, depressed, or oppressed but just plain pressed isn’t an option. 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1057 That doesn't look self-inflicted, does it? 1.2720 0.05000 125 98 20 7
1058 I can see you’re trying, but we still have some things to iron out in our relationship. 1.2720 0.04869 125 97 22 6
1059 do you intend to go in the carry on or the garment bag? 1.2714 0.04401 140 107 28 5
1060 Not on your self,by yourself! 1.2714 0.04628 140 109 24 7
1061 No, you do NOT look any younger! 1.2713 0.04505 129 98 27 4
1062 I think there are better ways to lose weight. 1.2713 0.04891 129 101 21 7
1063 You know, your mother always told me you'd need starch. 1.2713 0.04891 129 101 21 7
1064 You seem depressed. 1.2713 0.04891 129 101 21 7
1065 The score did say B flat. 1.2713 0.04891 129 101 21 7
1066 Hello, Iron Man. 1.2713 0.04766 129 100 23 6
1067 That’s flattering. 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 24 4
1068 You were pressed for time? 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1069 Honey, just do the Botox. 1.2712 0.05337 118 94 16 8
1070 I get it honey, but even if you do fit under the seat, I still don’t think the airline’s going to count you as hand luggage! 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1071 I don’t think this is how you launder money. 1.2710 0.05566 107 85 15 7
1072 That's still not a washboard stomach. 1.2708 0.04645 144 113 23 8
1073 If only you'd put this much effort in the bedroom... 1.2708 0.04540 144 112 25 7
1074 He's a founding member of the Flat Iron Society. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1075 When I said ‘iron yourself’, that’s not what I meant! 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1076 It's easer if you take the suit off first 1.2705 0.04514 122 92 27 3
1077 Do mind if I put some starch below the belt? 1.2704 0.04779 159 129 17 13
1078 Alright, fine… we can start using the dry cleaners again. 1.2704 0.04342 159 124 27 8
1079 You know, if the train's too crowded, you can always just wait for the next one. 1.2703 0.04558 148 116 24 8
1080 That suit is Permanent Press. You could have just put yourself in the dryer 1.2703 0.04351 148 114 28 6
1081 Boots feels you’ve used too much starch. 1.2703 0.04351 148 114 28 6
1082 You got your wrinkles out, but you don't look any younger. 1.2703 0.04456 148 115 26 7
1083 I said "We would iron things out" not you. 1.2701 0.04691 137 107 23 7
1084 That puts a wrinkle in our plans 1.2701 0.04457 137 105 27 5
1085 That's just flat out ridiculous. 1.2698 0.04565 126 96 26 4
1086 You could try pharmaceuticals 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1087 Todd, when I said your suit needed ironing I assumed you knew to take it off first. 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1088 Do you need me to roll you up and deliver to work? 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
1089 How many times must I tell you … that tie doesn’t go with that suit! 1.2696 0.04674 115 87 25 3
1090 You could use a little more starch in your pants, if you know what I mean. 1.2695 0.04815 141 112 20 9
1091 Stanley, flattering will get you nowhere. 1.2695 0.04599 141 110 24 7
1092 Well, I wiped off my prints and put the iron in his hand. Do you think the cops will believe it was a suicide? 1.2695 0.04708 141 111 22 8
1093 You're impressive and I'm impressed, but you're also late for work. 1.2695 0.04488 141 109 26 6
1094 OK, turn over and I'll do the other side... 1.2695 0.04919 141 113 18 10
1095 Honey, that's not how you get to be Iron Man. 1.2692 0.04756 156 126 18 12
1096 Homework really isn´t your cup of tea 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
1097 The kinks are all ironed out 1.2692 0.04339 130 98 29 3
1098 I’m training for an ironed man. 1.2690 0.04720 145 115 21 9
1099 But Marvel already has an Iron Man. 1.2690 0.04295 145 111 29 5
1100 What part of no iron don't you understand? 1.2690 0.04617 145 114 23 8
1101 I told you not to leave the steam setting on. 1.2689 0.04575 119 90 26 3
1102 You forgot the starch again? 1.2689 0.05429 119 96 14 9
1103 Everything is a pressing matter with you! 1.2689 0.04575 119 90 26 3
1104 Sadly, this can happen when single guys read Salvador Dali’s book “How I Press My Clothes.” 1.2689 0.05559 119 97 12 10
1105 For the millionth time, don’t flatter yourself. 1.2689 0.04877 119 92 22 5
1106 „I told you I love you creases and all.“ 1.2689 0.04575 119 90 26 3
1107 This doesn't take away the fact that there's still a ketchup stain on your pants. 1.2689 0.05021 119 93 20 6
1108 Okay, smart ass. Do you understand "dry clean only" now 1.2688 0.04318 160 125 27 8
1109 You look great. Now go over there and show 'em some backbone. 1.2687 0.04259 134 101 30 3
1110 Pleating will get you nowhere. 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1111 You didn't use "Permanent Press" did you? 1.2687 0.04873 134 106 20 8
1112 This is very depressing. 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
1113 Oh Stanley, you should have had the setting on polyester. 1.2685 0.05520 108 86 15 7
1114 Want me to go get the basketball pump? 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
1115 Looks like you're finally in shape for the Iron Man 1.2683 0.04770 123 95 23 5
1116 Glad I got that straighten out” 1.2683 0.04331 123 92 29 2
1117 George, you're 45 - the wrinkles aren't coming out. 1.2683 0.04174 123 91 31 1
1118 Pressed for success, are we? 1.2681 0.04883 138 110 19 9
1119 No, that’s not the definition of irony. 1.2681 0.04546 138 107 25 6
1120 You know, most people iron their clothes when they're off their body. 1.2681 0.04546 138 107 25 6
1121 A little less steam next time. 1.2681 0.04429 138 106 27 5
1122 Honestly, Michael. There are ways to contest the divorce other than claiming that I’ “left you flat”! 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1123 C’mon, wrinkles are a given in middle age 1.2677 0.04930 127 100 20 7
1124 Try all you want but you’re still not Iron Man 1.2677 0.04802 127 99 22 6
1125 Botox would have been easier. 1.2676 0.04784 142 113 20 9
1126 It's not okay just to lie there and say that you're 'doing chores.' 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
1127 Frank, could you move? I’ve got chores to do. 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
1128 Well, the clothes don't actually make the man after all. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1129 Let me tell you once & for all I never want to see you near the laundry again! 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
1130 I still want a divorce. 1.2672 0.05246 116 92 17 7
1131 This is not what it looks like 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1132 We can’t seem to iron things out. 1.2672 0.04445 131 100 27 4
1133 Next time more starch. 1.2672 0.04825 131 103 21 7
1134 1st time? Do I have to teach you everything? 1.2672 0.04702 131 102 23 6
1135 The irony...I married you for the money, and now you're a hot guy who's flat broke." 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1136 this is not what I meant when I said I want to get steamy. 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1137 This is not the way to get thin, Greg. You need at least, a little, starch! 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1138 If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times...less steam; more starch! 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
1139 It's one thing to iron out our differences but you're making a flat out fool of yourself. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1140 ‘Press and Wear’ does not mean at the same time... 1.2667 0.04607 135 105 24 6
1141 Ted where’s the hamster? 1.2667 0.05257 120 96 16 8
1142 It’s not exactly what I had in mind when I said you’ve got to learn to pack better. 1.2667 0.04929 105 80 22 3
1143 You know, there is a filter on zoom for that. 1.2667 0.05784 105 85 12 8
1144 The lengths some people will go to just to win the limbo contest. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1145 I still can't fit you into my life 1.2667 0.04543 120 91 26 3
1146 You left a lot of wrinkles on your face. 1.2667 0.04954 135 108 18 9
1147 You're almost there. Keep pressing on. 1.2667 0.04694 120 92 24 4
1148 Came as soon as I could--you said it was a pressing matter. 1.2667 0.04195 150 115 30 5
1149 Congratulations! You've just saved us 10 bucks on dry cleaning. 1.2667 0.04726 135 106 22 7
1150 You're gonna need a bigger board... 1.2667 0.04841 135 107 20 8
1151 I don't think this is what Marvel intended for the next Ironman 1.2667 0.04726 135 106 22 7
1152 Repressed, depressed, and pressed: you're ready for your first day back at the office, hon! 1.2662 0.04518 139 108 25 6
1153 How many minutes was this supposed to save you again? 1.2661 0.04301 124 93 29 2
1154 Not a bad job, but there's just one more wrinkle 1.2661 0.04737 124 96 23 5
1155 Air Fluff, Air Fluff, Air Fluff 1.2661 0.04596 124 95 25 4
1156 But Harvey dear, you've always been wash and wear. 1.2661 0.04596 124 95 25 4
1157 Why you insist on ironing yourself I'll never know. 1.2661 0.04873 124 97 21 6
1158 We have more pressing issues. 1.2661 0.04451 124 94 27 3
1159 I told you we could always iron things out together. Now this? 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
1160 You're taking 'pressed for time' a bit too literally, don't ya think? 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
1161 I wish you weren't so spineless. 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
1162 I’m sorry you misunderstood. I said irony and auto correct changed it. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1163 He has no sense of irony. 1.2656 0.05020 128 102 18 8
1164 I’mpressed?? 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
1165 that doesn’t count as exercise 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
1166 Wha'd I tell ya, Morris? NOT THE SHOES! 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1167 It was the easiest way I found to do this 1.2655 0.04707 113 86 24 3
1168 I said WE should iron things out, Jeff 1.2653 0.04662 147 117 21 9
1169 Hang drying works too! 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1170 You've heard about the layoffs, Marge... boss said I have to iron out the kinks if he’s going to keep me around. 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
1171 Iron Man? Press Man? Hubert, you’re not a super hero. You’re an accountant! 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
1172 Ok, you made your point. So you don’t do domestic. 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1173 And this is why I only buy permanent press. 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1174 Lets iron out our differences 1.2649 0.04171 151 116 30 5
1175 Frankly I’ve about had it with your pressing issues! 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1176 Good! Now we fold you, put you in my carry-on, and you won't have to pay for a seat. 1.2647 0.04333 136 104 28 4
1177 When he mentioned a pressing engagement, I had no idea he meant this. 1.2647 0.04810 136 108 20 8
1178 You look rundown.You may need more iron? 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1179 I really appreciate that we try to fulfill each other’s sexual fantasies but that’s not what I meant with “ Iron Man”. 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1180 This isn’t what I meant when I said we needed to smooth a few things over 1.2647 0.04695 136 107 22 7
1181 No, you don’t look any taller. 1.2645 0.04397 155 122 25 8
1182 Let’s review our division of labor. 1.2645 0.04660 121 93 24 4
1183 This is not what I meant by hang...out 1.2645 0.04806 121 94 22 5
1184 That's not what the label means by "self-ironing" 1.2645 0.04355 121 91 28 2
1185 I see you've completed the 'Iron Man' competition! 1.2643 0.04821 140 112 19 9
1186 I told you, the dryer does not like being rebooted. 1.2642 0.04702 106 80 24 2
1187 You are so lost. No one irons their shoes. 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1188 You could have just called me. 1.2642 0.05889 106 87 10 9
1189 You're right, it's faster. But... 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1190 I know it can be hard to iron things out, but press on anyway. 1.2640 0.04970 125 99 19 7
1191 You missed your head. 1.2636 0.05430 110 88 15 7
1192 But I clearly said to wear something more flattering 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
1193 This isn't what the doctor meant when they said you needed more iron. 1.2636 0.04736 129 101 22 6
1194 Darling, I don't think that's what iron deficiency means. 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
1195 I fail to see the irony here. 1.2636 0.04336 129 98 28 3
1196 It’s not such an easy job now is it? 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
1197 Want me to do your face again? 1.2636 0.05105 129 104 16 9
1198 Sal? Hello, Dali? 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
1199 You're really taking this 'weaponized incompetence' thing too far. 1.2636 0.04862 129 102 20 7
1200 Grow a spine, Bill. Grow a spine. 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
1201 I really think Botox would have been better. 1.2632 0.04251 152 118 28 6
1202 Not a bad husband, really. I just had to iron out a few wrinkles. 1.2632 0.04548 152 121 22 9
1203 Yes, I'm steamed. How can we iron out our disagreements if even the smallest fight takes the starch out of you? 1.2632 0.05145 114 90 18 6
1204 Although Fred felt that he'd been put through the wringer, he was determined to iron out his difficulties with Marge. 1.2632 0.04879 133 106 19 8
1205 This isn't what we meant when we said you had to straighten out. 1.2632 0.04251 152 118 28 6
1206 Well? Did it feel ‘just like a sauna’ after all? 1.2632 0.04992 114 89 20 5
1207 Where on the tag did it say to wash and wear then iron! 1.2632 0.05145 114 90 18 6
1208 When I said, 'iron out the details', I didn't mean this. 1.2628 0.04778 137 109 20 8
1209 We can iron out our differences. Roll over and let me get your back. 1.2628 0.04665 137 108 22 7
1210 I know you think anti-wrinkle creams are "for women", but this just isn't a sustainable alternative 1.2628 0.04665 137 108 22 7
1211 What’s this pressing issue you texted about? 1.2628 0.04889 137 110 18 9
1212 That's not what I meant when I said we could iron things out. 1.2627 0.05025 118 93 19 6
1213 You have to take your clothes off first to iron them. 1.2627 0.04572 118 90 25 3
1214 I'll fold you, but won't fluff you. 1.2627 0.04878 118 92 21 5
1215 I told you that we needed a longer ironing board. 1.2627 0.05025 118 93 19 6
1216 Bob, you’re flat out annoying. 1.2627 0.04572 118 90 25 3
1217 Finally got those wrinkles out? 1.2624 0.04346 141 109 27 5
1218 Pressing business? 1.2624 0.04346 141 109 27 5
1219 Actually it was more entertaining when you sawed yourself in half. 1.2624 0.04461 141 110 25 6
1220 Don’t you think this is so much better than a massage. 1.2623 0.05180 122 98 16 8
1221 Well, you seem to have successfully ironed out the kinks. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
1222 This isn't what I envisioned when we agreed to iron out our issues. 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
1223 This is a very thin excuse for last night’s performance, buster. 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
1224 Honey, we just talked about weaponized incompetence. 1.2621 0.05682 103 83 13 7
1225 Stanley, that suit is dry clean only! 1.2621 0.05512 103 82 15 6
1226 See what happens when you don’t use starch? 1.2621 0.04772 103 78 23 2
1227 And have you taken out the garbage? 1.2621 0.05512 103 82 15 6
1228 Tell me Harold, what is so pressing that this couldn't wait? 1.2621 0.04379 145 113 26 6
1229 I'll hang you with your suits. 1.2619 0.05186 126 102 15 9
1230 I didn't think I had to tell you to, first, take your clothes off. 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
1231 ‘Pressing engagement’ doesn’t mean you need to go flat out, you know. 1.2619 0.05186 126 102 15 9
1232 I know the counselor said we need to iron out our differences but I don't think this is what he meant. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1233 Looks like you got things straightened out. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
1234 You flat-out don't listen to a word I say! 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
1235 You are permanently pressed for time! 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
1236 I said iron out the wrinkles in our relationship, Greg. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
1237 This way, we all can fit comfortably in our NYC apartment 1.2613 0.05536 111 90 13 8
1238 And they say cats can't be trusted 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1239 So I called you a wrinkled old man. Don’t you think you’re overreacting? 1.2612 0.04486 134 104 25 5
1240 Your meeting down at the Flatiron Building has been postponed. 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
1241 That’s not what they mean by pumping iron! 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
1242 Looks like we'll need a little starch. 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1243 It must be a pressing engagement! 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
1244 Maybe you’re supposed to take them off first. 1.2609 0.04400 138 107 26 5
1245 I guess I was wrong when I said the chores won't do themselves. 1.2609 0.04468 115 87 26 2
1246 I think I still see a few wrinkles 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1247 I said try ironing yourself. You’re so concrete Robert! 1.2605 0.04987 119 94 19 6
1248 I'm going to be honest, there is something legitimately wrong with you 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
1249 You've got to get off instagram. 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
1250 C’mon George, that’s not how we iron out our problems! 1.2605 0.05128 119 95 17 7
1251 Do you mind getting that last crease on my right arm?" 1.2605 0.04379 119 90 27 2
1252 These board meetings are crushing you. 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
1253 This is not what I meant when I said we need to 1.2603 0.03895 146 110 34 2
1254 Fred, are you leaving me flat? 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
1255 Well, we finally got things ironed out. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
1256 I told you to be less ironic! 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
1257 I said there was a wrinkle in your sleeve, not in Steve, Steve 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
1258 you didn’t mention anything about taking off the suit first. 1.2602 0.05142 123 99 16 8
1259 Can't you just get Botox like everybody else 1.2602 0.05270 123 100 14 9
1260 Oh,you must live in the Flatiron District! 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1261 Kitty, I think I pressed him too hard. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1262 I told you your OCD was out of control! 1.2598 0.05026 127 102 17 8
1263 You are flat out wrong! 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
1264 Stanley, you are taking "lay flat to dry" way too literally. 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
1265 Try a little starch... 1.2598 0.04360 127 97 27 3
1266 Oh, now it's my job to fold you and put away the ironing board? 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
1267 Embrace me, my sweet inflatable you. 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
1268 When I said we need to iron out our problems... this is not what I meant 1.2597 0.03995 154 118 32 4
1269 It's called strategic incompetence; you're not fooling anyone. 1.2595 0.04545 131 102 24 5
1270 My mom did think you were just another suit. 1.2595 0.04545 131 102 24 5
1271 I see you ironed things out for yourself. 1.2593 0.04456 135 105 25 5
1272 Doc says you’ve been getting too much iron, not enough starch 1.2593 0.04331 135 104 27 4
1273 Oh,he and his wife have ironed it out 1.2593 0.04814 135 108 19 8
1274 Well, that explains the racket coming from the washer and dryer earlier... 1.2590 0.04605 139 110 22 7
1275 Honey, Jim’s party is tomorrow! 1.2590 0.04933 139 113 16 10
1276 I told him he could iron himself 1.2590 0.04373 139 108 26 5
1277 Some irony just falls flat. 1.2590 0.04826 139 112 18 9
1278 I did suggest you iron the problem out with your boss. 1.2590 0.03999 139 105 32 2
1279 Nice try, but I'm not blowing you up again. 1.2589 0.05190 112 89 17 6
1280 Time to walk the dog. 1.2589 0.04702 112 86 23 3
1281 Your colleagues on Zoom are waiting for you to start the meeting. 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1282 Your face is still wrinkled 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1283 I'll see if you qualify for that flat shipping fee now. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
1284 Okay, I'm convinced. You and Mifflepuffs can ride in the same pet carrier. 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
1285 Now you’re just flat-out lying. 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
1286 Geez, I told you not to add starch!. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
1287 I don't think this is going to help your iron deficiency. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
1288 I told you to go easy on the fabric softener. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
1289 I mean I get it you are pressed for time, but seriously? 1.2583 0.04348 120 91 27 2
1290 I don't think that is what they mean by Freedom of the Press. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
1291 Oh good,you're here. Could you get my head. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
1292 Maybe he’s anemic! 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
1293 When the tag says ‘self-iron,’ this isn’t what it means. 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
1294 Of course, YOUR stuff is ironed 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1295 I understand flights are getting expensive, but you can't just mail yourself. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1296 Point taken. 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1297 Don't forget to unplug it and put away the ironing board when you're finished. 1.2581 0.05231 124 101 14 9
1298 You idiot, when I said "You need to sraighten yourself out," I didn't mean it literally. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1299 I would call your mother, but she would blame me. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1300 Well, this is quite a new wrinkle. 1.2578 0.04471 128 99 25 4
1301 You're right, I did say you needed to straighten yourself out. 1.2578 0.04471 128 99 25 4
1302 So much for the kinks in our relationship ! 1.2578 0.04866 128 102 19 7
1303 No, I don't think it's iron-ic. 1.2578 0.04331 128 98 27 3
1304 Okay, so I am passive aggressive. You said don't press me! 1.2578 0.04866 128 102 19 7
1305 Nice try, but I still can't fit you in my carry-on. 1.2578 0.04471 128 99 25 4
1306 Are you sure it was a micro-dose honey? 1.2578 0.05113 128 104 15 9
1307 As I told you flattery will get you nowhere. 1.2576 0.04385 132 102 26 4
1308 Do not iron clothes on body. [Genuine packaging instructions for Rowenta iron] 1.2576 0.04641 132 104 22 6
1309 You have to take the shirt off before you iron it. 1.2576 0.04251 132 101 28 3
1310 Are you impressed? 1.2576 0.04641 132 104 22 6
1311 And this is why casual Friday is now every day. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
1312 You are not mowing the lawn. 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
1313 That's not what I meant by irony. 1.2574 0.04667 136 108 21 7
1314 You could have simply hung out to drip dry. 1.2574 0.04303 136 105 27 4
1315 I said keep a low profile. You're too literal, Frank. 1.2571 0.04885 105 81 21 3
1316 I’ve been telling you, you’re not getting enough starch in your diet. 1.2571 0.04102 140 107 30 3
1317 Do you still think it saves time? 1.2571 0.04462 140 110 24 6
1318 Thank you for being more flexible! 1.2571 0.05585 105 85 13 7
1319 The doctor told you to cut out starch." 1.2571 0.04694 105 80 23 2
1320 I told you not to set the iron on permanent press! 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1321 Now, let's get this straight. 1.2569 0.05438 109 88 14 7
1322 You're right, I should have used low heat. 1.2566 0.04494 113 86 25 2
1323 This is not what I meant when I said "Do the ironing your damn self." 1.2566 0.04833 113 88 21 4
1324 Oh NO, honey! You misunderstood when I said "You don't need me to iron. You can iron yourself!" 1.2566 0.04666 113 87 23 3
1325 And this all started with a Droopy Turkey Wattle. 1.2566 0.04993 113 89 19 5
1326 This isn’t what the doctor meant when he said we need to iron out our problems. 1.2564 0.04879 117 92 20 5
1327 I guess you're not really pressed for time anymore, are you? 1.2564 0.05028 117 93 18 6
1328 I think the collar could use a little more starch. 1.2564 0.04054 156 121 30 5
1329 When I said we needed to iron out the kinks in our relationship, this was not what I was thinking. 1.2564 0.04726 117 91 22 4
1330 Now if you could only iron out our communication problems, Harold, but look at you: you're already board. 1.2562 0.05052 121 97 17 7
1331 If you thought about this last week you wouldn't need to go overnight. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1332 Honey, I know you're running late, but you have to take them off before you iron them. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1333 And you made fun of me for using anti-wrinkle cream… 1.2562 0.05052 121 97 17 7
1334 And this is why you need a therapist 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1335 Method acting class going well? 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
1336 I really think you’ve been pressing yourself too hard. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1337 The label clearly said “do not iron” 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1338 You shouldn't have set it for linen. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
1339 I didn't want to take it off. My tie was tied already. 1.2558 0.04440 129 100 25 4
1340 Man, that Ozempic is really kickin' in... 1.2558 0.04705 129 102 21 6
1341 I said let’s iron this out before we go to bed. 1.2556 0.03944 133 100 32 1
1342 Well there he is, chairman of the board. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
1343 That suit is dry clean only. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
1344 This is not what I had in mind when I said we needed to iron out our differences! 1.2555 0.04275 137 106 27 4
1345 He also can't boil water. 1.2555 0.04637 137 109 21 7
1346 No starch? 1.2555 0.04751 137 110 19 8
1347 Having ironed out her difficulties with Fred, Zelda is ready to move on 1.2555 0.04520 137 108 23 6
1348 Of course it doesn't work. The iron is not plugged in. 1.2555 0.04751 137 110 19 8
1349 Maybe I can fluff him up in the dryer, 1.2551 0.05089 98 76 19 3
1350 Well I did say "iron yourself. " 1.2551 0.04426 98 73 25 0
1351 He always wanted to be Iron Man… 1.2550 0.04583 149 120 20 9
1352 This one is stupid. Bad cartoon 1.2549 0.04866 153 127 13 13
1353 Marvel Studios takes fourth movie in the Iron Man franchise in an unexpected new direction. 1.2549 0.05340 102 81 16 5
1354 You were supposed to get out of the suit before pressing it. 1.2545 0.05074 110 87 18 5
1355 I don't care what you read on the internet - that's not how you treat an iron deficiency 1.2545 0.05393 110 89 14 7
1356 I warned you that getting the iron with the cruise control was a bad idea. 1.2545 0.05546 110 90 12 8
1357 Now you understand what the fu@#& board is for? 1.2544 0.04631 114 88 23 3
1358 When I said you were too kinky, that is not what I meant. 1.2544 0.04631 114 88 23 3
1359 How about I press the suit and take you to the cleaners? 1.2544 0.05684 114 95 9 10
1360 And I suppose you think this is my fault! 1.2544 0.04631 114 88 23 3
1361 So this is your pressing issue? 1.2544 0.04795 114 89 21 4
1362 Mom said I should leave you flat! 1.2544 0.04631 114 88 23 3
1363 They say that with only one glass of water all that weight will come right back on. 1.2544 0.04795 114 89 21 4
1364 I thought you just had a few details to iron out. 1.2544 0.04631 114 88 23 3
1365 The ironing is fine, it's the clothes wringer that was a mistake. 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
1366 I told them that you had a pressing engagement. 1.2542 0.04371 118 90 26 2
1367 You see the irony here, right? 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
1368 But you're perma-press, honey. 1.2542 0.04990 118 94 18 6
1369 It's a new wrinkle every day. 1.2541 0.05148 122 99 15 8
1370 Are you pressed for time? 1.2541 0.05148 122 99 15 8
1371 You're not supposed to use that without supervision. 1.2541 0.04592 122 95 23 4
1372 Not what I meant when I said to iron out your problem. 1.2541 0.04442 122 94 25 3
1373 No, I said EXPRESS yourself. 1.2541 0.04592 122 95 23 4
1374 I think you'll agree, things have been a bit flat lately... 1.2540 0.04053 126 95 30 1
1375 Well, that's impressive . . . but your tie is still wrinkled. 1.2540 0.04772 126 100 20 6
1376 If you've nothing more pressing to do, would you mind tfeeding the cat? 1.2538 0.04922 130 105 17 8
1377 I really appreciate your efforts, dear, but this time you have really fallen flat 1.2538 0.04544 130 102 23 5
1378 No, Bob, you can’t Flat Stanley yourself to avoid your Zoom call. 1.2538 0.04544 130 102 23 5
1379 I wish I could relax like that. 1.2538 0.04411 130 101 25 4
1380 I see you've finally ironed things out. 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
1381 No worries, it's not permanent press. 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
1382 I thought your label said “Dry Clean Only”. 1.2537 0.04818 134 108 18 8
1383 Could you be any straighter?!?” was rhetorical 1.2535 0.04734 142 115 18 9
1384 Have you tried anti-depressants? 1.2535 0.04173 142 110 28 4
1385 He 's too long for the clothesline. 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
1386 Apparently, "Iron yourself, Harry" was a little too nuanced. 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1387 Nice try. Won't work. 1.2525 0.05624 99 80 13 6
1388 What about "Iron it, yourself" did you not get? 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1389 Fine, I’ll do the ironing too. 1.2523 0.05490 107 87 13 7
1390 You really need more starch in your diet. 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
1391 Yoga, muscle relaxers, easy listening, what did you expect? 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1392 The plank challenge is so old news 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1393 Smooth 1.2523 0.04519 111 85 24 2
1394 I find that you lack depth. 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
1395 Do you want me to put the crease in your pants? 1.2522 0.05217 115 93 15 7
1396 Arnold, you're suppose to iron your clothes BEFORE you put them on. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
1397 I’m gonna take you to the cleaners. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
1398 Stanley? 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1399 I ask you to help around the house and you get all bent out of shape 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1400 Oh Stanley! Not again?! 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1401 Even Mr. Sparkles here knows that this isn't the iron the doctor was talking about 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1402 When you said you were an iron man, I thought you meant the triathlete kind. 1.2520 0.04703 123 97 21 5
1403 This is what you meant by a pressing engagement. 1.2520 0.04842 123 98 19 6
1404 I'm flat out. 1.2520 0.04410 123 95 25 3
1405 This is not the iron man that I thought I married. 1.2520 0.05239 123 101 13 9
1406 Are you finally done? I've been patiently waiting my turn. 1.2520 0.04256 123 94 27 2
1407 Bob, this is not what I meant when I said we had to work out some wrinkles in our marriage. 1.2520 0.04739 127 101 20 6
1408 I’m sorry, but ironing just doesn’t relax me the way it does you. 1.2519 0.04513 131 103 23 5
1409 Don't we have enough pressing problems already? 1.2519 0.04641 131 104 21 6
1410 Give me a break, Ted. It's not *that* crowded on the subway. 1.2519 0.04766 131 105 19 7
1411 Your just going have to iron this out for yourself. 1.2519 0.04513 131 103 23 5
1412 So this is why you’ve been so hard-pressed to help around the house? 1.2519 0.04245 131 101 27 3
1413 I told him that we should iron out our difficulties 1.2519 0.04299 135 105 26 4
1414 I can’t help you right now. I’m pressed for time. 1.2518 0.04343 139 109 25 5
1415 Stanley! Again? 1.2517 0.04598 143 115 20 8
1416 The irony 1.2500 0.05073 124 101 15 8
1417 I told you not to give up caffeine on a Monday. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
1418 You idiot! 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
1419 Nice try. I still resent that you get to work from home. 1.2500 0.05306 112 91 14 7
1420 You flat out lie. 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
1421 Five minutes on 'Air Fluff' will do the trick. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1422 I said you try a little of that "Irony" on yourself. 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
1423 Don't tell me you set it to permanent press. 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
1424 Honey, but you said you wanted the Dali look. 1.2500 0.04734 132 106 19 7
1425 You're supposed to take the clothes off before ironing. 1.2500 0.04217 132 102 27 3
1426 That's an easier method to a flatter stomach. 1.2500 0.04379 124 96 25 3
1427 I found a bug in the self-ironing system. 1.2500 0.04484 112 86 24 2
1428 I wish you would just pay for the extra legroom. 1.2500 0.04397 136 107 24 5
1429 How many times have I told you, the crease goes in the front! 1.2500 0.04972 132 108 15 9
1430 Smooth move, honey 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
1431 Pressed for success? 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1432 More starch, Salvador. 1.2500 0.04960 128 104 16 8
1433 Really, Stanley? 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1434 This is not what I meant by needing to iron out our differences. 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
1435 Damn! I forgot the starch. 1.2500 0.04854 132 107 17 8
1436 I can see your patience is wearing thin 1.2500 0.04942 124 100 17 7
1437 So you'll be faxing yourself to work now...? 1.2500 0.05283 108 87 15 6
1438 So that’s what you meant by pressing issues. 1.2500 0.04835 128 103 18 7
1439 Sometimes you go a little overboard. 1.2500 0.05073 124 101 15 8
1440 I can see you are pressed for time, but can you still help with the laundry? 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
1441 I knew we could iron out our differences. 1.2500 0.05283 108 87 15 6
1442 You threw a new wrinkle into my morning. 1.2500 0.04581 108 83 23 2
1443 I told you to send it to the cleaner! 1.2500 0.04807 124 99 19 6
1444 I'm sorry, dear When I said you should iron your own shirt, suit, and tie for once in your life, I should have said "first, take them off! 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1445 Mr. Stark, I think you should rethink this whole superhero thing. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1446 Is he depressed or repressed? 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
1447 Yeah babe... you look just like Iron Man. 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
1448 Harvey, I always knew you were flat out ridiculous. 1.2500 0.04734 132 106 19 7
1449 I think wrinkle cream would be less painful. 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
1450 Carl, please, stop trying to come up with lifehacks for TikTok. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1451 You're sure it said 'a well-PRESSED man?' 1.2500 0.05389 100 80 15 5
1452 I thought we were going out for drinks to let off some steam? 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
1453 That AI iron was a bad idea. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1454 Didn’t realize you were delicate 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
1455 When I said "we need to iron out our problems", I didn't mean you were the problem. 1.2500 0.05073 124 101 15 8
1456 I'm faxing into the office today. 1.2500 0.05116 108 86 17 5
1457 Are the kinks gone? 1.2500 0.04573 128 101 22 5
1458 I’m glad to see you have ironed out the differences between us. 1.2481 0.04453 133 105 23 5
1459 I said WE have some things to iron out Phil.WE! 1.2481 0.04579 133 106 21 6
1460 Just had to iron a few things out before the morning meeting. 1.2481 0.04453 133 105 23 5
1461 We can’t just iron it out this time 1.2481 0.04051 133 102 29 2
1462 Wouldn’t it be easier to just jack up the car? 1.2481 0.05047 129 106 14 9
1463 The irony is that things were steamier in our relationship when you were de-pressed. 1.2481 0.04542 129 102 22 5
1464 If this is a plan to save time in the morning, Fluffy and I don’t think it’s working. 1.2480 0.04906 125 101 17 7
1465 The irony is that there is no place to plug in the iron! 1.2480 0.04773 125 100 19 6
1466 You haven't plugged it in. 1.2480 0.04906 125 101 17 7
1467 Who's the flat chested one now? 1.2480 0.04906 125 101 17 7
1468 You should have used more starch 1.2480 0.04495 125 98 23 4
1469 Are you ok honey? You seem a little flat. 1.2480 0.04636 125 99 21 5
1470 That tic toc video on 'Iron Deficiency, the No. One Silent Killer' really got to you?!? 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
1471 I’m one with the laundry now Linda. 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
1472 Why is everything always so pressing, Raymond! 1.2479 0.05285 121 100 12 9
1473 I hope not everything is flaccid. 1.2479 0.05018 121 98 16 7
1474 So?! You ironed it out? 1.2479 0.04435 121 94 24 3
1475 No one on zoom will know the difference 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
1476 I think you need extra starch 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1477 When did you become so one-dimensional? 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1478 I guess I really should have selected “Delicates”! 1.2479 0.04189 117 89 27 1
1479 Is it a legitimate talent?—Sure 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1480 You're supposed to iron the suit BEFORE you put it on. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1481 You were supposed to remove it first. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1482 Were you really that pressed for time? 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1483 And to think the dry cleaners wanted $9.99 for this. 1.2478 0.04624 113 88 22 3
1484 I told you honey, one dot is low heat, two is medium heat, three is high heat, and four is total meltdown. 1.2478 0.04954 113 90 18 5
1485 This level of weaponized incompetence was banned by the Geneva Conventions, Harold. 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
1486 I know I didn't leave you with the instructions but... 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
1487 You’ll be hung out to dry 1.2478 0.04450 113 87 24 2
1488 I know I said there were a few things we needed to iron out, but ... 1.2478 0.04269 113 86 26 1
1489 See? My life is filled with irony 1.2478 0.04954 113 90 18 5
1490 The Avengers called - they don’t want Iron Man in the group anymore. 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
1491 Get up! You're wrinkle free. 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1492 Don't say I didn't warn you. 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
1493 I wanted a Flat White coffee, not husband! 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1494 Pressed for time again? 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1495 '"I think you completely misunderstood 'flatiron.'" 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1496 I told you - you need starch! 1.2476 0.04645 105 81 22 2
1497 I said you don’t seem to understand irony, but apparently you don’t understand ironing, either 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1498 Go get 'em, Iron Man! 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
1499 Can't say I'm surprised. 1.2475 0.05700 101 83 11 7
1500 Harold, I think maybe it's time to talk about your ironic personality. 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
1501 Harold, your good suit! You didn't add enough starch! 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
1502 You’re still not getting out of ironing, Joe. 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
1503 I told you before! Wash and wear is not the same thing as wear and wash! 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
1504 You didn’t think to read the instructions? 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
1505 You know the man who presses his own suit has a fool for a valet. 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
1506 No, Brian, I won’t say I’m ‘hard-pressed’ to explain this. 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
1507 I'm trying to become Iron Man 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
1508 Lets get something straight. ! 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1509 Well I guess it saves time but what about the rest of your day? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1510 Were you worried about not fitting in the MRI machine? 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1511 How permanent is the press? 1.2467 0.04224 150 119 25 6
1512 So you're telling me Iron Man is a person? 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
1513 You could have just hung yourself on a hanger for a few hours after you crawled out of the washer. 1.2464 0.03958 138 106 30 2
1514 That's the problem with being an efficiency expert. 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
1515 This is way too kinky! 1.2463 0.04424 134 106 23 5
1516 That’s not what Iron Man is about 1.2463 0.04789 134 109 17 8
1517 Just put yourself in the dryer next time. 1.2462 0.04377 130 102 24 4
1518 Actually that’s not what I really meant by “show a little empathy.” 1.2462 0.04768 130 105 18 7
1519 Clothes off, then iron. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
1520 This is what happens when you let a man do a woman's job! 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
1521 I'm glad we have this problem ironed out. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
1522 I’m just trying to iron out our differences 1.2460 0.04319 126 98 25 3
1523 I get it! You’re flat out after a tough day at the office. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
1524 All I said was "I think we can iron things out." 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
1525 Let me guess, your meetings at the Flatiron Building. 1.2460 0.05000 126 103 15 8
1526 When I said press yourself, I meant to get a job. 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
1527 I did say to iron out your problems. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
1528 You're first supposed to take the suit off. 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1529 If you really want to show me you can live on the straight and narrow how about feeding the cat once in a while! 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1530 I don’t need instructions, you said. 1.2459 0.04981 122 99 16 7
1531 If you move up you can get rid of the wrinkles on your face 1.2459 0.04843 122 98 18 6
1532 Very funny Elastic Man, I can see it's not plugged in. 1.2458 0.05374 118 98 11 9
1533 No, you are still not the Iron Man 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
1534 I'm sorry but it's too little, too late. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
1535 you're still not straight 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
1536 Why do I always have to step in when you start a project? 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
1537 That’s not what I meant when I told you to “straighten out” ! 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
1538 Well, frankly, I think your impersonation of Iron Man is repulsive, Ray 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
1539 That's the problem with permanent press.” 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
1540 Your first attempt? Oh the irony! 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
1541 I'm not impressed. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1542 I told you we should have bought the steamer 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
1543 You’re not the only one flat out today 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1544 I’m glad we ironed out the cause of our problems. 1.2456 0.04237 114 87 26 1
1545 His new office is located in the Flat Iron Building! 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1546 What part of the warning "DO NOT IRON CLOTHES WHILE WEARING THEM" did you not understand? 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
1547 I would have gone with the Botox, myself..." 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1548 Introducing the real “Flat Stanley”! 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1549 Sorry I can’t help you at the moment…I’m just flat out. 1.2456 0.04237 114 87 26 1
1550 Once a flat-earther, always a flat-earther. 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
1551 Steam or no steam? 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
1552 Ironing out our difficulties does not mean this. 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
1553 I hope you didn't use starch! 1.2455 0.04690 110 86 21 3
1554 You're still using irony incorrectly. 1.2453 0.05330 106 86 14 6
1555 I think you forgot the starch. 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
1556 I told you you’d be on the board someday. 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
1557 I thought it was time we ironed out our differences. 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
1558 It's like that time you painted yourself into a corner. There's no way to get that last sleeve cuff. 1.2451 0.05983 102 86 7 9
1559 I'm sorry, you misunderstood me. I said "You can do the ironing yourself." 1.2449 0.04824 98 76 20 2
1560 This is a ploy so I’ll keep doing the ironing isn't it? 1.2449 0.04824 98 76 20 2
1561 Ok, so I guess you don’t know what a flat white is? 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
1562 If you've finished playing with the iron the cat needs to go out. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
1563 This is why I don't let you cook dinner 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
1564 I see no need for a chiropractor anymore 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
1565 I knew I should have married the drip-dry guy. 1.2446 0.04772 139 114 16 9
1566 See what happens when you're pressed for time? 1.2444 0.04518 135 108 21 6
1567 Smooth move,Stanley. 1.2444 0.04394 135 107 23 5
1568 Iron out my problems, she said. 1.2444 0.04518 135 108 21 6
1569 Honey, when I said our issues will all iron out, I was only speaking figuratively. 1.2444 0.03999 135 104 29 2
1570 That's not what I meant by ironing out our problems. 1.2443 0.04735 131 106 18 7
1571 Wait until Dali sees this ! 1.2443 0.04210 131 102 26 3
1572 Oh. I thought you said DE-pressed. 1.2443 0.04609 131 105 20 6
1573 Great job Stanley! Now I can fold you up and mail you home to your parents! 1.2443 0.04858 131 107 16 8
1574 Impressive. 1.2441 0.04289 127 99 25 3
1575 Shall we go through the settings one more time? 1.2441 0.04432 127 100 23 4
1576 You forgot the worry lines. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1577 A freshly pressed suit is so slimming. 1.2441 0.04140 127 98 27 2
1578 We’ll throw him in the dryer like we did with you and put it on fluff. 1.2439 0.05077 123 101 14 8
1579 You still need to work on your creases 1.2439 0.04522 123 97 22 4
1580 Is this how it’s done? 1.2439 0.04522 123 97 22 4
1581 Namaste Iron Man! 1.2439 0.04217 123 95 26 2
1582 I wonder if you have an iron deficiency? 1.2437 0.04916 119 96 17 6
1583 I see you're pressed and ready to go. 1.2437 0.05059 119 97 15 7
1584 No, it said "wash and wear", not "wear and iron". 1.2437 0.04617 119 94 21 4
1585 Feeling a little depressed? 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
1586 My mother was right about you. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
1587 This doesn't make you an ironic Flat Stanley. 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
1588 You may want to work from home today. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
1589 Salvadore, stick to clocks 1.2435 0.05180 115 94 14 7
1590 I didn’t realize you were so kinky. 1.2432 0.04473 111 86 23 2
1591 I like the new wrinkle-free you. 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
1592 Now, that is ironing bored! 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
1593 The tag said "safe to iron while wearing, so no problem right? 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
1594 Not again, I told you to always take off your clothes when you iron yourself. 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
1595 That’s it—it’s not just iron or starch in your backbone that you’re lacking, it’s the gumption to stand up for yourself. 1.2432 0.05462 111 92 11 8
1596 The irony is lost on me... 1.2431 0.04434 144 116 21 7
1597 ‘Lost your apartment key again?’ 1.2430 0.04759 107 84 20 3
1598 We don’t have the money for Ozempic, what was I supposed to do? 1.2430 0.04569 107 83 22 2
1599 I understand you think you're helping. 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
1600 That's not what I meant when I suggested that we had to iron some things out. 1.2430 0.05116 107 86 16 5
1601 Please stop watching DIY videos. 1.2430 0.05116 107 86 16 5
1602 Don’t think for a minute that this smoothes things over. 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
1603 Stop trying to be Iron Man. 1.2430 0.04759 107 84 20 3
1604 You really took mansplaining to a whole nother level... 1.2430 0.05285 107 87 14 6
1605 “Press the flesh” was my campaign advice! 1.2430 0.05116 107 86 16 5
1606 Thanks for handling the ironing yourself for once. 1.2427 0.05426 103 84 13 6
1607 He's going on Meet the Press 1.2427 0.04672 103 80 21 2
1608 I'm putting you back on rice, bread and potatoes. 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1609 You should have had my dermatologist treat your wrinkles. 1.2424 0.04318 132 104 24 4
1610 You could’ve just used some of my wrinkle cream 1.2424 0.04824 132 108 16 8
1611 Gosh, I'm sorry I said it wouldn't kill you. 1.2422 0.04673 128 103 19 6
1612 I told you to do it yourself, not on yourself. 1.2422 0.04401 128 101 23 4
1613 Men really can't do anything right 1.2422 0.04401 128 101 23 4
1614 You flat out used too much starch 1.2422 0.04539 128 102 21 5
1615 I told him to 'tell me that you've never heard of the superhero Iron Man without telling me that you've never heard of the superhero Iron Man.' 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
1616 TFW you've married the wrong Iron Man. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
1617 Honey, this self-irony thing is really getting out of hand. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
1618 Well, I'm glad that issue's now ironed out. 1.2419 0.04773 124 100 18 6
1619 But you still have wrinkles on your face. 1.2419 0.04187 124 96 26 2
1620 Did you empty the lint catcher? 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
1621 I see you have a pressing problem. 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
1622 I told you not to try to iron that suit while you're wearing it. But noooo, you wouldn't listen, 1.2419 0.05040 124 102 14 8
1623 I don’t care if you have ironing board abs, extra starch in your shorts, or a wrinkle-free collar, I’m leaving you, Pete. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
1624 I’m flat out exhausted. 1.2417 0.05020 120 98 15 7
1625 The label said "Do Not Iron." Can't you read? 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1626 Why can't you just accept that I'm better than you at limbo? 1.2417 0.05020 120 98 15 7
1627 You look very crisp, Mr. Dali. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1628 You looked better round. 1.2414 0.04992 116 94 16 6
1629 This isn't what they meant when they said your suit was 'self-ironing.' 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
1630 It's going to take more than this, Phil, to iron out our martial issues. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1631 That’s not how you get flat abs, Derek. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
1632 When you said you had a pressing problem, you weren't kidding 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
1633 NOTE TO SELF Never tell a partner with absolutely NO imagination that I am confident we can iron out our marital problems. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
1634 I'll get the Viagra. 1.2411 0.05267 112 92 13 7
1635 You're still not getting the concept of irony. 1.2411 0.05112 112 91 15 6
1636 But your label said ‘permanent press.’ 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
1637 He has an iron deficiency 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1638 You’re thinking of the wrong Iron Man 1.2409 0.04578 137 111 19 7
1639 On the plus side, the doctor couldn't find any scorch marks. 1.2407 0.04337 108 83 24 1
1640 Just once,you could let Phil win the limbo contest. 1.2407 0.05403 108 89 12 7
1641 I told you, it works a lot better with your clothes OFF your body! 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
1642 It's cheaper than Botox. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
1643 Nice try, but you still can't tell people you've done an Ironman. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
1644 I wouldn't call that a superpower, Iron Man. 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
1645 I don't care how hard you press the point, the world is not flat. 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
1646 When I said you should feel hard pressed to find a job,this is not what I meant. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
1647 Sure, but when I said that we had to "iron some things out".... 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
1648 When I said we could iron things out, this wasn't what I meant! 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
1649 Let me guess, you’re training for Ironman? 1.2404 0.05550 104 86 11 7
1650 They’ll reimburse you for a flat rate box but not a plane ticket? 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
1651 He really ironed himself out. 1.2404 0.04633 104 81 21 2
1652 Not quite what I meant when I said “Iron yourself.” 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
1653 There are easier ways to increase your daily iron. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1654 I told my mother we had a pressing engagement. 1.2400 0.04158 125 97 26 2
1655 Don't worry sweetheart, we'll get this ironed out." 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
1656 I am just trying to iron out our problems 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
1657 I betcha fried eggs for breakfast doesn’t sound too good. 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
1658 It's all or nothing with you. 1.2400 0.05707 100 83 10 7
1659 That's not what they meant by "flatten the curve". 1.2400 0.04600 125 100 20 5
1660 I told you! Steam would have made you puffy! 1.2400 0.04158 125 97 26 2
1661 Never, ever use the permanent press setting! 1.2400 0.04458 125 99 22 4
1662 You are flat-out useless around the house! 1.2400 0.04158 125 97 26 2
1663 When you're done pressing your suit, just please promise you won't vacuum the house. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
1664 This is not what I meant when I said ironclad 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
1665 What? We all out of spray starch? 1.2400 0.04158 125 97 26 2
1666 Maybe you should reconsider working at the Flatiron Building. 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
1667 Honey, you completely misunderstand how the Ironman Competition requires body shaping... 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
1668 You are a smooth dude ! 1.2397 0.04070 121 93 27 1
1669 Bob, OTHER fans of Black Sabbath can listen to the song "Iron Man" without having to do THIS... " 1.2397 0.05119 121 100 13 8
1670 His profile read, “I am Iron Man.” Disappointing. 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
1671 Are you rethinking what you said about mindless household chores? 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1672 And here's me thinking the cat wearing mascara was the weirdest thing that would happen today... 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1673 You're the one that said no starch. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
1674 That's not what I meant when I suggested you iron out your problems. 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
1675 First take the suit off next time. 1.2393 0.04953 117 95 16 6
1676 For a guy who normally can't touch his toes, this is really impressive. 1.2393 0.05100 117 96 14 7
1677 Now I can take him as carry on’ 1.2393 0.04953 117 95 16 6
1678 Honey, I told you it's a wash and wear suit, not wear and . . . Oh, never mind. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
1679 Your Iron Man impression falls flat" 1.2393 0.04317 117 91 24 2
1680 I’m not going to do it for you just because you are terrible at it. 1.2393 0.04953 117 95 16 6
1681 you better accept that not being straight is also normal! 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
1682 I told you to drink more water first. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
1683 How about a little starch for the collar. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1684 I had no idea you were so kinky. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1685 Honey, you’ve got to get out of your clothes first. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1686 You forgot to do your head. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1687 They say a body needs iron, but this is ridiculous. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1688 Only have the energy for two dimensions today. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1689 I thought you said you were drip-dry! 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
1690 Marriage. Let's iron out the wrinkles in our marriage, I said. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1691 You still have to take out the trash. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1692 Flat affect's good for tech, honey. You're in sales. 1.2389 0.04221 113 87 25 1
1693 You forgot your head. 1.2389 0.05225 113 93 13 7
1694 ..." "did you not always want a cardboard cut-out of me? 1.2389 0.04404 113 88 23 2
1695 Flattening will get you nowhere. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1696 I can tell you’re feeling real pressed. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1697 I told you it wouldn't be faster. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1698 You didn't believe me when I told you to do it standing up 1.2388 0.04517 134 108 20 6
1699 Sweetheart, it’s easier if you take the suit off first.” 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1700 Hey! the cat will get inspired! 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1701 Well, I did tell him we needed to iron some things out... 1.2385 0.04303 109 84 24 1
1702 My love language is acts of subservience 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
1703 This isn't what they meant when they said that flattery will get you anywhere! 1.2385 0.04736 130 106 17 7
1704 This isn’t what I meant by ironing out the kinks, John 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
1705 This is your training for Iron Man? 1.2381 0.04567 126 101 20 5
1706 I was thinking of sending it to the cleaners, but I didn't want to press my luck. 1.2381 0.05332 105 86 13 6
1707 You could just call in sick, hon. 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
1708 I heard people saying, they've seen Salvador Dali walking around the neighborhood! 1.2381 0.04426 126 100 22 4
1709 Well, I did say it was a pressing emergency. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
1710 I’ve been through the wringer this week. 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
1711 Glad you're finally straightening out. 1.2381 0.04594 105 82 21 2
1712 Who wears a suit to a limbo contest? 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
1713 Even the cat knows that's not The Iron Man. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
1714 You were just supposed to iron the bloody tie. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
1715 Really your weaponized incompetence hurts both of us. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
1716 I had something else in mind when I told you to straighten yourself out. 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
1717 After folding, you’ll fit in my carry-on bag. 1.2377 0.04363 122 96 23 3
1718 It’s Ironed man! 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
1719 You did this without the iron plugged in? 1.2377 0.04363 122 96 23 3
1720 This is not how Iron Man got his start. 1.2377 0.04807 122 99 17 6
1721 Nice job. Flat out looks great! 1.2377 0.04516 122 97 21 4
1722 Why so pressed? 1.2377 0.04516 122 97 21 4
1723 Ironman who 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
1724 Will that work with my stretch marks? 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
1725 Stanley - Just stop. Please. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
1726 Oh no,dear. The Dali setting is only for watches. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
1727 That's the problem with Ozempic... Sure, you're thinner but you really start to notice the wrinkles. 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
1728 hot yoga 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
1729 I'm tired of your weaponized incompetence. 1.2373 0.05061 118 97 14 7
1730 You fool,nobody irons anymore 1.2373 0.04766 118 95 18 5
1731 I'm all for time-saving tips, but this is ridiculous 1.2373 0.04611 118 94 20 4
1732 Permanent press? 1.2373 0.04915 118 96 16 6
1733 You really want to press the issue Chip? Try the steam setting. 1.2373 0.04286 118 92 24 2
1734 This is your idea of a pressing problem? 1.2373 0.04451 118 93 22 3
1735 Slight wrinkle, there's no room for you in the closet 1.2371 0.04582 97 75 21 1
1736 Sweetie iron the suit BEFORE you put it on ok? 1.2370 0.04233 135 107 24 4
1737 You've taken this self-care thing too far. 1.2370 0.04608 135 110 18 7
1738 So, it looks like we are stumped again by the "Wash & Wear" tags. 1.2370 0.04233 135 107 24 4
1739 I identify as a dress shirt. 1.2368 0.05031 114 93 15 6
1740 One too many DIY books! 1.2368 0.04545 114 90 21 3
1741 and I found him in the dryer last week after the rain 1.2368 0.04712 114 91 19 4
1742 You got things ironed out I see 1.2366 0.04431 93 71 22 0
1743 I can always tell when you’re flat out lying. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1744 I had no idea you’re that depressed. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1745 Relax I said. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1746 Gerald, your antics are wearing quite thin. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1747 Flatlining 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1748 Oh dear, I forgot your dyslexia when I left that note about "dress to impress".... 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1749 Honey, not right now! I'm steamed. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1750 When I told you we needed to iron things out,it was just a figure of speech 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1751 What are you doing? That's a no-iron shirt. 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
1752 Silly man, you need more starch. 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
1753 You're flattering yourself. 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
1754 That's way too much starch! 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
1755 I'm still not taking you on my trip. There's only so much room in my suitcase. 1.2358 0.04354 106 82 23 1
1756 I never said this was a good idea. 1.2358 0.04354 106 82 23 1
1757 This isn't what I meant about ironing out our issues... 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
1758 That suit flatters you. 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
1759 Let me guess…you’re pressed for time? 1.2358 0.04354 106 82 23 1
1760 You take things so literally. This isn't how to iron out our problems. 1.2358 0.05043 123 102 13 8
1761 You are flat-out weird. 1.2358 0.04483 123 98 21 4
1762 Well if it isn't Mr. Efficiency himself. 1.2358 0.04483 123 98 21 4
1763 I knew you were running late, but this is flat-out ridiculous. 1.2353 0.04658 102 80 20 2
1764 That’s not what I meant when I said we had to try to straighten things out 1.2353 0.04658 102 80 20 2
1765 And it isn’t even plugged in. 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
1766 Is it plugged in? 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
1767 I said “you do the ironing,” not “iron yourself!” 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
1768 There's such a thing as too flat, Stanley. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
1769 You look like the starch has gone out of you. Or I guess today at work really flattened you. 1.2353 0.04445 102 79 22 1
1770 His Tinder profile did say, “Ironman world champion.” 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
1771 You never LISTEN...I said use the LOW setting! 1.2353 0.04658 102 80 20 2
1772 You will seriously do anything to get out of chores. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1773 When you said we could iron this out I didn’t think you meant literally 1.2353 0.04658 102 80 20 2
1774 This part is actually much more pleasant compared to being in the dryer. 1.2348 0.04146 132 104 25 3
1775 I said use the wrinkle-free setting 1.2348 0.04283 132 105 23 4
1776 The plane IS pretty bad, but I won’t mail you there. 1.2348 0.04670 132 108 17 7
1777 It appears you've had a change of perspective... 1.2348 0.04337 115 90 23 2
1778 Spray starch will not help you stand up to the boss. 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
1779 We were just supposed to iron out our problems, but Mark is an overachiever by all measures. 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
1780 You do the dishes and I'll do the laundry. 1.2348 0.05142 115 95 13 7
1781 Now, where are your bootstraps when we need them? 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
1782 This outta straighten him out 1.2348 0.04991 115 94 15 6
1783 No, Howard. I am NOT going to re-inflate you again. 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
1784 …so pressing that you needed to iron out a problem without us ? 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
1785 I told you the Hemsworth setting was too hot... 1.2347 0.04303 98 75 23 0
1786 This motherfucker. 1.2344 0.05141 128 108 10 10
1787 Aha! I’ve always suspected you were a part of the liberal press, 1.2344 0.04896 128 106 14 8
1788 I asked you just to wash and fold! 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
1789 I'm concerned about your latest fad diet. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1790 That Dali imitation is getting really old. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1791 I told you to grow a spine. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1792 You might get away with, Starch Man, but definitely not, Iron Man. 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
1793 I told you to feed the cat and THEN iron out the details 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1794 We have to iron out something in our relationship 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1795 this look will pair perfectly with your flat affect. 1.2340 0.05941 94 79 8 7
1796 I bet you’re really impressed with yourself. 1.2340 0.04884 94 74 18 2
1797 I'll get the starch. 1.2339 0.04873 124 102 15 7
1798 That’s not the way to get flat abs! 1.2339 0.04451 124 99 21 4
1799 When I suggested you should try ironing yourself.... 1.2339 0.04451 124 99 21 4
1800 Are you paid on a flat rate? 1.2339 0.04451 124 99 21 4
1801 "Yes, I know those safety warnings can seem ridiculous, but in this case, they were right." 1.2339 0.04596 124 100 19 5
1802 What in the world! Did you just iron yourself? 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
1803 I’ll grab a hanger so I can get you to work. 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
1804 Finally,now I can wear you to my job interview. 1.2336 0.04319 107 83 23 1
1805 Not bad for a first attempt. 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
1806 For the last time , you are NOT Iron Man!! 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
1807 I said I wanted a frappucino, not a flat white. 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
1808 You see what I mean about the starch 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
1809 You just 'flat' never pay attention to anything I say! 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
1810 Wow. The blue suit really is trimming. 1.2336 0.04319 107 83 23 1
1811 No, you cannot blame the cat this time. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
1812 That's the last time I'll let Dali do the laundry. 1.2333 0.04841 120 98 16 6
1813 Stanley, grow up already! 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
1814 Phillip, I told you to give me a minute and I’d do it for you! 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1815 No, I can't fix it. I warned you there was more to it than you knew. 1.2333 0.04694 120 97 18 5
1816 You need a woman's touch. 1.2333 0.04543 120 96 20 4
1817 Why are you always so dramatic?!? All I did is ask you to help with the laundry every once in a while! 1.2333 0.04543 120 96 20 4
1818 There's no need to act out how pressed you feel." 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
1819 This is not what Dr. Shapiro meant by getting more iron. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
1820 I said "put on your fat suit" not your "flat suit". 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
1821 I ask you to do the laundry one time and this is what happens. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
1822 That's not what self ironing means. 1.2330 0.05380 103 85 12 6
1823 Is this you being ironic? 1.2330 0.04407 103 80 22 1
1824 Next time let's just pay for dry cleaning. 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
1825 Why couldn’t you just use the steamer? 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
1826 Honey you're a great architect but you just can't create another Flatiron Building 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
1827 Hoyt, I hope you get The Thin Man part, but this director likes a wrinkle or two in his characters. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
1828 Is this because I wouldn't let you use my anti-aging cream? 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
1829 I warned you about the perils of DIY. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
1830 The day that Contrary Colin misheard "don't flatter yourself" was the day he started taking things too far. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
1831 You forgot to put a crease in your pants. 1.2328 0.05101 116 96 13 7
1832 You forgot to use starch. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
1833 When I suggested we iron out our differences this is not exactly what I meant. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
1834 Your taking the Flat Stanley costume too far. 1.2328 0.05246 116 97 11 8
1835 I thought you were being ironic. 1.2326 0.04472 129 104 20 5
1836 Didn't I tell you to go easy on the fabric softener? 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
1837 Stanley! Not again! 1.2326 0.05889 86 71 10 5
1838 This is what you had in mind when I said you had to iron out all the details? 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
1839 We've had a hard time ironing out our differences. 1.2326 0.04472 129 104 20 5
1840 I don't think this is what they meant by 'flatten the curve.'" 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
1841 That's certainly an ironclad argument!" " I'm imPRESSED! 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
1842 who said you could use my iron. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
1843 Just ironing out a few issues 1.2323 0.04501 99 77 21 1
1844 I think you've really got to get over this obsession with Dali... 1.2321 0.04909 112 91 16 5
1845 This is why househusband is not a word. 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
1846 Okay, I think we need go over the pros and cons of the permanent-press setting again. 1.2321 0.04909 112 91 16 5
1847 No. First iron; then get dressed. 1.2321 0.04570 112 89 20 3
1848 This is not what I meant by permanent press. 1.2321 0.04390 112 88 22 2
1849 When you said the issue was pressing... 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
1850 I said you need to learn to express yourself. 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
1851 I get it, no creases. 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
1852 I didn't mean it literally when I said you could press your suit in five minutes flat. 1.2316 0.04601 95 74 20 1
1853 That's not what I meant when I said iron out your problems. 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
1854 You look taller in that suit. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
1855 I can't believe you're trying the "I accidentally ironed myself" again. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
1856 You flatter yourself," I said, not "flatten yourself 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
1857 You're supposed to remove the suit first 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
1858 Looks good! Would you like me to stencil "WELCOME" up your pant leg? 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
1859 Looks like flattery finally got me somewhere. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
1860 You misread the tag; the suit is 'non-iron,' not 'on-iron.' 1.2315 0.04284 108 84 23 1
1861 Honey you are flat out gorgeous! 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
1862 I think we've ironed out our differences 1.2315 0.04284 108 84 23 1
1863 Frankly,a crease would improve the look 1.2314 0.04805 121 99 16 6
1864 When I said that we need to iron a few things out I didn’t think you’d take it literally. 1.2313 0.03952 134 105 27 2
1865 I told you when you bought it that outfit wasn’t wash and wear. 1.2313 0.04357 134 108 21 5
1866 Stan, you've got too much starch in your diet. 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
1867 I knew you'd been feeling pressed lately. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
1868 You know, it's easier if you take the suit of before you iron. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
1869 Maybe try the 'tumble-dry' next time. 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
1870 It says “drip dry” 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
1871 You should have told me to use starch 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
1872 You don't iron wash-and-wear. 1.2308 0.04441 130 105 20 5
1873 How was your first day working at the dry cleaners? 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
1874 I told you you needed more starch in your diet. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
1875 Well so much for that idea. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
1876 OK, you're Ironman. Now will you feed the cat please? 1.2308 0.04441 130 105 20 5
1877 Pressing matters 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
1878 At least you can still work from home. 1.2308 0.04151 104 80 24 0
1879 I told you we’d iron things out at some point. 1.2302 0.03996 139 110 26 3
1880 I told you that I was pressed for time. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
1881 You've been going flat out all week. 1.2301 0.05184 113 94 12 7
1882 Next time try adding more starch. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
1883 That's not what I meant when I said iron yourself! 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
1884 Stanley, you're supposed to turn the clothes inside out. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
1885 Ironing while intoxicated...again? 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
1886 I know it's cheaper than flying...but I'm not going to mail you overseas. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
1887 Ready to fold? 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
1888 You are supposed to remove the suit before you iron it. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1889 I'm glad we got this ironed out. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1890 At least you're not depressed any more. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1891 Ok, you've proved you're flat out funny. 1.2300 0.04683 100 79 19 2
1892 Oh, great, and we're out of hangers. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
1893 The kid at the help desk said it might be a 3D printer hacker. 1.2300 0.04683 100 79 19 2
1894 I see you’ve ironed yourself out. 1.2300 0.04683 100 79 19 2
1895 I see you've finally straightened out. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
1896 Thought you could just slip by me? 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1897 So you really are hard pressed. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
1898 If you promise to stop, next Christmas we WILL get you a REAL Iron Man suit. 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
1899 Hey, You got the keys? I’m gonna take this dog for a poop. 1.2299 0.06052 87 73 8 6
1900 Honey, I suggest you go back to the office. This working from home is not going well. 1.2299 0.04823 87 68 18 1
1901 Is this what you meant when you finally agreed to see a shrink? 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
1902 I told you so. Every single gadget doesn't need to be controlled by an app. 1.2295 0.04322 122 97 22 3
1903 Are you pressed for time hon 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1904 That's not what I meant when I said you have some problems that need ironing out. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1905 I think we're going to need a lot more starch here. 1.2294 0.05154 109 90 13 6
1906 I know you're pressed for time but would you mind walking the dog? 1.2294 0.05154 109 90 13 6
1907 OK, but I still think the steam room would be easier 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
1908 Ironically, that suit is permanent press. 1.2294 0.04446 109 86 21 2
1909 Would you pass me the iron, please? 1.2294 0.04250 109 85 23 1
1910 Were you even listening when the therapist told us to iron things out? 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
1911 So, when you said you still had a few wrinkles to iron out… 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
1912 ...but his TikTok video has gone viral! 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
1913 So, you are right handed! 1.2294 0.05316 109 91 11 7
1914 You're not going to impress a girl from Flatbush! 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
1915 I'm not sure if that'll help your speech go smoothly or if now it'll fall flat. 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
1916 I knew he was square but I didn't realize he was flat! 1.2294 0.04446 109 86 21 2
1917 Well, this is a new wrinkle. 1.2292 0.05437 96 79 12 5
1918 What did I warn you about internet diet hacks? 1.2292 0.04794 96 76 18 2
1919 I don't think this is what the doctor meant when he suggested an iron supplement. 1.2292 0.04794 96 76 18 2
1920 Whatever you say, but "Flat Ernie" is a trademark infringement. 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
1921 And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife And you may ask yourself, ‘Well, how did I get here?’ 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
1922 Now we’re flat broke. 1.2290 0.04275 131 105 22 4
1923 When they asked you to run for office this is not what they meant by press the flesh. 1.2290 0.04542 131 107 18 6
1924 We're sending you back to your mother. 1.2288 0.05022 118 98 13 7
1925 Your irony fell flat again? 1.2288 0.04408 118 94 21 3
1926 I guess the ad did say "tidy flatmate" 1.2288 0.04725 118 96 17 5
1927 When I said, "Why don't you iron yourself?", you forgot my ineptness with reflexive pronouns. 1.2288 0.05303 118 100 9 9
1928 You still look your age! 1.2288 0.04569 118 95 19 4
1929 I said you flatter yourself, not flatten yourself. 1.2288 0.04240 118 93 23 2
1930 I don't think this is what the doctor meant when he said to straighten out your life. 1.2288 0.04876 118 97 15 6
1931 Please tell me Miss Kitty's fresh sardines aren't still in your jacket pocket. 1.2288 0.05022 118 98 13 7
1932 Seriously... 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1933 My mother is here, and yes we still see you. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
1934 Honey, I'm telling you. You have a self-medication issue. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1935 I wish I could help you out, but I'm sorry, honey, I'm just flat out of steam. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
1936 You're nice and flat, except for the head part. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1937 You’re supposed to take off the suit first. 1.2283 0.04211 127 101 23 3
1938 That’s what you get for letting off some steam 1.2283 0.04357 127 102 21 4
1939 Honey, I don’t think that’s what they meant when they said to iron things out. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1940 You are still wrinkled. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1941 We're still going to couples therapy, you can't just iron out your relationship with your mom. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1942 this is a painful way to appear straight … 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1943 How were you able to do that without plugging it in? 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1944 I thought you were wash and wear! 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1945 I'm glad we got that straightened out. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1946 What is the pressing mater this time? 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1947 No, it didn't remove your facial wrinkles... 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1948 Too much softener. 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1949 :All right, all right, I'll do the ironing this week." 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1950 The tie! Just the tie! 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1951 At this point I'm thinking more starch 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
1952 ExPRESS yourself! 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
1953 I warned you about the "steam" option. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
1954 I'd recommend adding starch to your diet. 1.2277 0.05428 101 84 11 6
1955 I know you’re pressed for time…but.. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
1956 I was going for sharp, but I ended up flat. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
1957 Oh, honey - I just asked for a flat white 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
1958 I told you things would iron themselves out but no, you wouldn’t listen 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
1959 I forgot to give him a blow job this morning. 1.2276 0.04591 123 100 18 5
1960 I told him "That iron-clad agreement won't end well." 1.2276 0.04443 123 99 20 4
1961 No, I said IRONY is dead 1.2276 0.04734 123 101 16 6
1962 you don’t know what iron man is, do you 1.2276 0.04591 123 100 18 5
1963 A little startch will help you with your posture. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
1964 I said "Iron IT yourself," not, "Iron YOURSELF!" 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
1965 That does not make you an Ironman!” 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
1966 I told you to take it off first! 1.2273 0.04775 88 69 18 1
1967 He's flat-ironed! 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
1968 You are SO literal”….I simply said “there were some things we needed to iron out” 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
1969 You’re supposed to take your clothes off first 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
1970 Not that kind of iron deficiency. 1.2273 0.05271 110 92 11 7
1971 You've taken 'permanent press' to a whole new level. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
1972 I am not that flat 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
1973 I know it's Wash'nWear. But it says: Iron only when necessary. 1.2273 0.05271 110 92 11 7
1974 We need to straighten some things out" is a metaphor, Joe 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
1975 That was work. They've postponed today's Iron Man contest. 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
1976 What I said was you have no sense of self irony 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
1977 'He did say he felt a bit flat this week' 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
1978 "If the label says Wash & Wear, it doesn't mean at the same time. 1.2269 0.04535 119 96 19 4
1979 This is not what I expected when you told me you’re training for an ironman competition. 1.2269 0.04839 119 98 15 6
1980 Now at least you can say “ your pressed for time” 1.2269 0.04535 119 96 19 4
1981 There is already an iron man. 1.2269 0.04375 119 95 21 3
1982 His apartment is in the Flatiron Building. 1.2269 0.04535 119 96 19 4
1983 What can I say, I got board 1.2269 0.04535 119 96 19 4
1984 Good. Now if I roll you up you shouldn’t have wrinkles when you get there. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
1985 You gotta take it off, Kent 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
1986 Frankly, I think you've got much more pressing issues to iron out. 1.2266 0.04602 128 105 17 6
1987 I told you not to press your luck. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1988 I don’t think that’s what they meant when they said machine wash cold, dry flat. And, Stan, you know they said no iron. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
1989 You said 10 minutes flat! 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1990 Did I forget to mention your suit is permanent press 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1991 I told you he was smooth. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
1992 Now don't tell me you didn't put yourself through the rinse cycle first. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1993 Long Covid. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
1994 When I said “go iron yourself” I didn’t actually mean it. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
1995 Well? Did you iron out our differences? 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
1996 I told you he’s a fucking idiot. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1997 When I said, "We'll put your clothes in the overhead........" 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1998 "I thought you said you were de-pressed!" 1.2262 0.04895 84 66 17 1
1999 I told you: if you're going to multi-task, do it in the kitchen so you can make us paninis. 1.2262 0.04592 84 65 19 0
2000 You're spreading me too thin, Linda. 1.2261 0.04950 115 95 14 6
2001 I suppose you'll try to blame this on the cat, too! 1.2261 0.04793 115 94 16 5
2002 My patience for you is wearing thin. 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
2003 I don't think that's what he meant when he told you we should iron out our differences... 1.2261 0.04793 115 94 16 5
2004 Yes you got the wrinkeles. Bot, no... 1.2261 0.04464 115 92 20 3
2005 I still think botox would be better. 1.2261 0.04464 115 92 20 3
2006 You have to stop bending over backwards all the time. 1.2261 0.04289 115 91 22 2
2007 You were right. The user manual DIDN'T say not to. 1.2261 0.04464 115 92 20 3
2008 And you say I'm the one with no sense of irony. 1.2261 0.04793 115 94 16 5
2009 Iron-ic. All washed up. Board and flat. Whatever suits you, you said. And me with my dryer sense of humor. Oh to be so stiff. Punny isn't it? 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
2010 I told you it was a left-handed iron 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
2011 I got carried away 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
2012 Yet again your humor falls flat, Bon. 1.2261 0.04793 115 94 16 5
2013 I’ve always said you are too easily impressed. 1.2261 0.04950 115 95 14 6
2014 Maybe you should've used a lower setting. 1.2261 0.04464 115 92 20 3
2015 I said, 'IronY' 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2016 Wow you’re really committing to this whole weaponized incompetence thing, aren’t you? 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2017 I think we ironed out everything 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
2018 Well, they didn’t call him Iron Man for nothin’ 1.2258 0.04411 124 100 20 4
2019 Did you take your blue pills today? 1.2258 0.06140 93 80 5 8
2020 I see you found an iron deficiency treatment on social media. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2021 The beauty standards Flat Stanley imposed on young men… 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2022 Honey, you asked me to iron out your wrinkles 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
2023 What part of "wrinkle free" fabric didn't you understand? 1.2256 0.03939 133 105 26 2
2024 Thats not what I meant when I said "we need to iron out some differences" 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2025 This isn’t bad. You should have seen me after I came out of the washer. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2026 All I did was to tell him to straighten himself out 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2027 Congratulations. Your obsession with saving time has finally caught up with you. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2028 I can see you're just "flat out" again 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2029 I did not mean THIS when I said we need to iron out our problems! 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2030 „Honey, could you please flip me over and iron the back of the shirt?“ 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2031 This isn’t what I meant when I said you needed to straighten yourself out. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2032 This is a wrinkle I wasn’t expecting. 1.2252 0.04904 111 91 15 5
2033 Steve--I thought you were planning to set yourself on drip/dry. 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
2034 This is not what I meant when I said we needed to iron things out. 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
2035 Honey, just pay up for the extra leg room next time. 1.2252 0.05228 111 93 11 7
2036 I warned you about Auto Erotic Martinizing. 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
2037 REALLY??? THIS IS BEYOND IRONING OUT OUR DIFFERENCES!!! 1.2248 0.04296 129 104 21 4
2038 I tried to tell you that sleeping in your clothes doesn't really save time in the morning. 1.2248 0.04435 129 105 19 5
2039 I know you're getting ready for work, but mittens wants her toys out from under the fridge. 1.2248 0.04951 129 109 11 9
2040 I know you told me you have some pressing issues at the moment but this is going a bit far... 1.2248 0.04435 129 105 19 5
2041 What are you doing in the laundry room, Stanley? I thought you said you had a pressing engagement! 1.2247 0.05926 89 75 8 6
2042 I meant take the shirt and pants off before ironing them. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2043 Okay! I get it. You’re bored. 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
2044 Hang on, I’ll get the starch spray. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2045 I think I liked him more when he was de-pressed. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2046 Wow. Weaponized incompetence gone nuclear. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2047 Hmmm now I miss your beer belly 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2048 I told you we could iron out our differences. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2049 Yoga and ironing.....that's multitasking for you. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
2050 Hard day at work? 1.2245 0.04478 98 77 20 1
2051 So much for 'Iron Man' sequels. 1.2245 0.04478 98 77 20 1
2052 Dad was trying to iron out a problem 1.2245 0.04478 98 77 20 1
2053 Well, that's a new wrinkle! 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2054 Wouldn't botox be easier? 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2055 Really, Greg? This is a whole new level of weaponized incompetence. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2056 Well you actually did a pretty good job 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2057 On the other hand, you won’t have to worry about finding your door keys. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2058 Your appearance won't matter until you stand up for yourself. 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2059 So this is what iron deficiency looks like. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2060 Impressed with yourself? 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2061 I'm pretty sure that the label doesn't say, "Wash & Wear then Iron." 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2062 These clothes just didn’t iron themselves! 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2063 Your pressing yourself too hard! 1.2241 0.04756 116 95 16 5
2064 Stuart, “relaxed fit” means they don’t NEED to be ironed. 1.2241 0.04257 116 92 22 2
2065 I said do it yourself not to yourself. 1.2241 0.04756 116 95 16 5
2066 He tried to enter the Iron Man competition, but he fell flat. 1.2241 0.04756 116 95 16 5
2067 What happened ? I listened to this damned new Ai Iron that said I didn't even have to take my clothes off to get them ironed. Like a fool I said "Hey, this I gotta to see". 1.2241 0.04077 116 91 24 1
2068 Honey, like I said, you'll get better creases if you iron your suit first, and then put it on. 1.2241 0.04756 116 95 16 5
2069 Is this because I said my ex did the Ironman? 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
2070 You never listen, I told you, the ,'Self-Serve,' at this Dry Cleaners, was HARD! 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
2071 Your body is thin, but your skull is still thick 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2072 Hmmm....I may have forgotten an important step 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2073 You really should find a healthier way to blow off steam. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2074 That’s not what I meant when I said we need to iron out our differences. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2075 What part of 'dry clean only' did you not understand? 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2076 OK you made your point. You do have depth, serious thought and understanding. 1.2234 0.04319 94 73 21 0
2077 I told you that suit was dry-clean only. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2078 ...weaponized incompetence. You know perfectly well that you're dry clean only. 1.2234 0.05486 94 78 11 5
2079 Last week, it was running with scissors, and now THIS? 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2080 My blood report said I need more iron 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2081 This is why you don't iron your shirt while wearing it. 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
2082 He should have had more starch in his diet 1.2233 0.04348 103 81 21 1
2083 Flat Stanley did it again! 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2084 When I said you have some pressing needs..... 1.2233 0.04348 103 81 21 1
2085 Have you seen my flatmate? 1.2233 0.04348 103 81 21 1
2086 He thought I was too flat for him...huh, that's ironic. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
2087 Gordon, Letterman stopped doing Stupid Human Tricks years ago. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
2088 Now get this straight...I'm not your laundress! 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
2089 I just said I liked Flat Stanley when I was a kid. Geez. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
2090 I thought it was wash and wear. 1.2231 0.04310 121 97 21 3
2091 I know you said it was a pressing matter, but really! 1.2231 0.04619 121 99 17 5
2092 The irony of this is you are wearing wrinkle-free... 1.2231 0.04267 130 105 21 4
2093 I told you to iron out your problems, not yourself, Stanley! 1.2222 0.03996 144 116 24 4
2094 Men, you are all the same. You will just not listen to any instructions. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2095 That's not what I meant when I told you to iron it out. 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
2096 Quit dilly-Dali-ing. 1.2222 0.05478 99 83 10 6
2097 No, I said, 'self-iron-Y,' Phil." 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2098 I always knew you didn't have a backbone... 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2099 It's a shame all of you didn't get stiff 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
2100 Yes. Your Doctor did say your iron levels are low. 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
2101 Harold, I really think it’s time we move out of the Flatiron District. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2102 Tired? Of course you are. End the 5-day working week. 1.2222 0.04407 90 70 20 0
2103 Not what I meant when I said next time Iron with your clothes on. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
2104 You didn't need the steam. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2105 I told you, FOLDED. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2106 He finally did something right. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2107 You weren't supposed to iron the pleats out. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2108 I wasn't pressing you to iron out the wrinkles in our relationship 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
2109 How did you get this from, “I need you to help more around the house.”? 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2110 You lost a button. 1.2222 0.05151 108 90 12 6
2111 John, when I said I wanted to explore the flatiron district in Manhattan, this is not what I meant! 1.2222 0.04229 108 85 22 1
2112 Still haven’t gotten all the wrinkles out. . 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
2113 I'm permanently impressed. 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
2114 Your anti-aging skincare routine is getting out of hand. 1.2214 0.03935 140 112 25 3
2115 Oh Wally, I could of told you it was drip dry. 1.2213 0.04584 122 100 17 5
2116 Typical. Does life always have to be two dimensional with you? 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
2117 You’ve had enough iron, maybe try some other vitamins? 1.2212 0.04306 113 90 21 2
2118 Let me guess. The Persistence of Wrinkles. 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
2119 Oh look, it's Tony Starch. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2120 Arghh - you didn't listen. Take it off first! 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2121 Good Job! Next time, remove the suit first. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2122 Jimmy just loved charades. But that last phrase - Ironside - did him in. 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
2123 Because you told me to 'Straighten' myself out! 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
2124 Why put yourself through this on casual Friday? 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
2125 You did say, "I need to straighten out." 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2126 Just stick to washing the dishes. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2127 Bad news Harry! Those pants you're wearing are pleated. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2128 NOW who’s flat chested? 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2129 I meant use ‘permanent press’ for the dryer cycle. 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
2130 This is because I freaked out about the dick piercing, isn't it? 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2131 This isn't what they meant by iron deficiency. 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
2132 Is this about your tryout for that Bugs Bunny steamroller scene? 1.2211 0.04534 95 75 19 1
2133 When I suggested we iron out our differences, this is not what I had in mind! 1.2211 0.04534 95 75 19 1
2134 Neat! I tend to do it standing up. 1.2211 0.04775 95 76 17 2
2135 The doctor says you need more starch in your diet. 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2136 Well, I think you’ve inadvertently ironed-out some of my issues. 1.2209 0.04794 86 68 17 1
2137 I thought we could iron this out eventually. 1.2203 0.04525 118 96 18 4
2138 I thought I made it clear you have to take your clothes off before you iron. 1.2203 0.04525 118 96 18 4
2139 Our differences are ironreconcilable.” 1.2203 0.04193 118 94 22 2
2140 Hey, Iron Man, what’s with you and laundry? 1.2203 0.04525 118 96 18 4
2141 So anyways, Becca from work is so unpleasant 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
2142 Earth balls are easy. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
2143 I said you need to iron out your issue, not iron out your tissue. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
2144 Honey, next time, less starch. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
2145 That guy on Tiktok said it would step up my dewy skin game. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
2146 Other than everything, what part of ‘self-esteem’ don’t you get? 1.2202 0.04195 109 86 22 1
2147 Look Gerry, when I said ' There's a few things we've got to iron out ..' 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
2148 Honey, just because they call you “a suit”, it doesn’t mean you have to iron yourself. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2149 Nice to see you’ve ironed yourself out, but I don’t see where the problems went. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2150 Just as I suspected Bonnie Boo - flat broke 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2151 You know, they now have Botox to remove wrinkles! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2152 Wow. There's still a crease. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2153 It's evident your flat-out lying, again! 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2154 You may be an efficiency expert at work, but at home you have no idea how to make my work easier. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2155 Oh for pleat’s sake. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2156 I know I said you should be able to iron yourself, but that’s not what I meant. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2157 Good job, Honey but ditch the glasses. Sardine Air is pretty strict on excess-human. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
2158 That tie just doesn’t go with your jacket. 1.2198 0.05806 91 77 8 6
2159 Frank, I don’t think that this is what the therapist meant when he said we need to iron out some of our issues 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
2160 You really need to switch to wrinkle free suits. 1.2195 0.04835 123 103 13 7
2161 Like I always tell people, my husband can flat-out iron! 1.2193 0.04273 114 91 21 2
2162 I'm not certain that this is how one trains for an ironman. 1.2193 0.04946 114 95 13 6
2163 OMG. I said flattery will get you anywhere. 1.2193 0.04622 114 93 17 4
2164 The iron finally found you. 1.2193 0.04087 114 90 23 1
2165 I still don't think it was worth removing all your bones. 1.2193 0.04946 114 95 13 6
2166 And how much time did you save? 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2167 Not sure this would be the opposite of depressed. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2168 When I said, 'Straighten yourself out, Charlie,' I didn't mean -flatten! 1.2190 0.04276 105 83 21 1
2169 I knew you could iron out the biggest problem in our relationship 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
2170 Are you working at the Flatiron building again? 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
2171 You should have just bought a larger size suit. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2172 Do you want me to impress you? 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2173 You see? Men NEVER read the instruction manual. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2174 Think of all the spontaneous hallway conversations you'll have now that everyone's back at the office. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2175 Eat more starch. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
2176 Honey, “you really need to straighten up” is just a figure of speech. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
2177 Now I get why you've seemed a bit flat lately. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2178 You’ve been going flat out? Look at me! 1.2190 0.04056 105 82 23 0
2179 When I booked Iron Man for my son’s birthday party this wasn’t what I meant.. 1.2190 0.05238 105 88 11 6
2180 This is not how you fix your iron deficiency, honey. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2181 No. You need calcium not IRON. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2182 Not what I meant by ironing out our differences. 1.2188 0.04492 96 76 19 1
2183 I feel like your laziness has reached a whole new level. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2184 I love the initiative, but I think that suit is dry clean only. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2185 Is this what one calls a Flat lining? 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
2186 I’m sure I said ‘No starch’. 1.2188 0.05381 96 80 11 5
2187 So I forgot once to bring your suits to the cleaners , don't you think this is a little bit dramatic? 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
2188 Does this mean you'll have new pronouns? 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
2189 I told you to read the instructions first. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2190 Hon, I think it's best to learn your limits to irony. 1.2188 0.05581 96 81 9 6
2191 Tom, we’ve talked about this. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2192 Next time, remember step #1 is take off your suit. 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
2193 Ah, another pressing engagement, I saa. 1.2185 0.04647 119 98 16 5
2194 Starch is two bucks extra. 1.2185 0.04329 119 96 20 3
2195 You’re scaring the cat. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2196 I think you misunderstood when I asked for your work life to decrease. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2197 That’s NOT what I meant by we have to iron things out! 1.2184 0.04455 87 68 19 0
2198 I told you, Botox is good enough for wrinkles!! 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2199 When I said you smooth everything out before ironing, I didn’t mean you. 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2200 Do I have to pick up the dry cleaning again? 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2201 Now turn on your side to crease the pants. 1.2184 0.04455 87 68 19 0
2202 Okay, I suppose you're right. "Step 1: Remove clothing" should be started rather than implied. But do you see my point that your need to be right has become self-destructive? 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2203 On second thought, the suit didn't make you look THAT fat. 1.2182 0.04545 110 89 18 3
2204 Ironing you flat won't stiffen your backbone. 1.2182 0.04161 110 87 22 1
2205 That's not a very flattering look on you. 1.2182 0.04725 110 90 16 4
2206 Really, with a million lo-carb options, you chose this 1.2182 0.04161 110 87 22 1
2207 Not exactly the iron man I was hoping for 1.2182 0.04161 110 87 22 1
2208 Well, this is an unexpected wrinkle in our relationship. 1.2182 0.04357 110 88 20 2
2209 Are you sure you’re ready to go back into the office? 1.2182 0.04545 110 89 18 3
2210 Oh my God! You are so right. I have no spine! 1.2182 0.04357 110 88 20 2
2211 So, did you listen to me when I suggested a wrinkle-free suit? 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
2212 It’s wash then wear 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
2213 Good start. Just take off the suit and I'll finish up. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2214 This is not the way to iron out our problems. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2215 He has only himself to blame 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2216 How Flattering!! 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2217 should i do it from now on? 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2218 Looks like we got all our problems ironed out. 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2219 Stanley, why can't you just take a plane like everyone else? 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
2220 That’s not what the doctor had in mind when he said you have an iron deficiency. 1.2178 0.05378 101 85 10 6
2221 At least we got that ‘ironed out’. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2222 Sooooo, you’re really serious about not having children? 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2223 So this is your idea of ironing things out? 1.2178 0.04361 101 80 20 1
2224 Okay, you can put yourself back in the closet, but no wire hangers! 1.2178 0.05378 101 85 10 6
2225 Straighten yourself out or I'm outta here! 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2226 When i said to straighten out, i didn't mean literally, 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
2227 You're supposed to take the suit off 1.2174 0.04416 115 93 19 3
2228 You weren’t kidding about being flat out bored. 1.2174 0.04240 115 92 21 2
2229 You're too literal. I just wanted us to iron things out. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
2230 Marvin, that's not how you get to be Ironman. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
2231 That’s a tough way to go. But he did say he was flat out tired of life. 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
2232 Is this your idea of self-care? 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
2233 I just assumed you'd use starch, Salvador. 1.2174 0.05535 92 77 10 5
2234 Making the rest of you limp doesn't negate the underlying problem. 1.2174 0.04907 115 96 13 6
2235 You shouldn’t give me any more reasons to hang you. 1.2174 0.04592 92 73 18 1
2236 That's not what I expected when he said he had an iron deficiency. 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
2237 if that doesn’t straighten him out, I give up 1.2174 0.04416 115 93 19 3
2238 Windy today...should probably do extra starch. 1.2170 0.04447 106 85 19 2
2239 I didn't know that you were pressed for time. 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
2240 And this Morris, is the modern Beta-male. Flattens with a steam, is very foldable, but lacks a spine. 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
2241 I would’ve used a lower setting, but you do you, dear. 1.2170 0.04645 106 86 17 3
2242 Ironing is not for the weak 1.2170 0.05017 106 88 13 5
2243 But it’s not even plugged in. 1.2170 0.05017 106 88 13 5
2244 Sorry, Dear, but empty suits can't iron themselves. 1.2170 0.04645 106 86 17 3
2245 Really?! I told you that you shouldn’t iron this out alone! 1.2170 0.04447 106 85 19 2
2246 ...and that suit still isn't 'flattering' 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
2247 I said you need to straighten out. 1.2170 0.04447 106 85 19 2
2248 I was just trying to iron out some of the details... 1.2167 0.04611 120 99 16 5
2249 I know you were pressed for time. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2250 Honey, you're supposed to take off the clothes first 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2251 Spin dry was too much. 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2252 You never heard of starch? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2253 Is this just temporary, because you're facing the full court? Or is this permanent press? 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2254 I’m going to take the dog for a walk. Will you be here when I get back? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2255 I guess being an empty suit IS good for something. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2256 Depressed again? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2257 I don’t think this is what they meant when they said you need to “get ready for the Ironman!” 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2258 You've become so one-sided about everything. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2259 What pressing matter was it this time? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2260 You’re supposed to take the suit off before pressing it! 1.2162 0.04322 111 89 20 2
2261 Wow, you really are impressed with yourself, aren’t you? 1.2162 0.04686 111 91 16 4
2262 I guess it saves time. 1.2162 0.04508 111 90 18 3
2263 That’s not what I meant by “iron out our kinks.” 1.2162 0.04858 111 92 14 5
2264 You definitely have some pressing issues to deal with in your life. 1.2162 0.05023 111 93 12 6
2265 This ambition to dress to impress is wearing thin. 1.2162 0.04128 111 88 22 1
2266 This does not count towards ironing out our differences. 1.2160 0.04030 125 100 23 2
2267 this isn't what I meant by creating an iron-clad marraige 1.2160 0.04484 125 103 17 5
2268 Tell me you avoided the inside leg. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2269 The book butcher on the cover says that this is too woke. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2270 I’m telling you, you’ve got to use more starch. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2271 This is the last time I’m getting out the bicycle pump early in the morning. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2272 Should I get the spray Viagra? 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2273 That is not how you achieve “Ironman” status. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2274 If you really want to get rid of your wrinkles just eat less sugar 1.2157 0.04951 102 84 14 4
2275 Not all time savers are worth it, Stanley! 1.2157 0.05144 102 85 12 5
2276 Hard day at the office took the starch right out of you, huh? 1.2157 0.05144 102 85 12 5
2277 You missed the wrinkles in your brow. 1.2157 0.04323 102 81 20 1
2278 I know you have a pressing engagement but . . . 1.2157 0.05329 102 86 10 6
2279 Didn’t I tell you to not use the steam setting on wool? 1.2157 0.04093 102 80 22 0
2280 This isn’t how to prepare for an Ironman Triathlon.” 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
2281 ironee 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
2282 You win. You're the OG Flat Stanley. 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
2283 Perfect! And I’ll bet we can even squeeze you into a carry-on. 1.2157 0.04323 102 81 20 1
2284 Straighten up. And fly right. 1.2157 0.05329 102 86 10 6
2285 I don’t think this is a suitable alternative to Botox. 1.2157 0.05144 102 85 12 5
2286 Next time, don’t try to hypnotize the cat. 1.2157 0.04951 102 84 14 4
2287 No, that’s not what ‘ironic’ means, either. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
2288 Oh, Jim, I love your commitment to making our marriage work. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
2289 Stanley, I think it's time to give it up. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
2290 Honey, were you on TikTok again? 1.2157 0.05329 102 86 10 6
2291 Need to make sure I’m looking suitably smart for my board meeting. 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
2292 Here's my ironed man. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
2293 Next time, try a little less starch, 1.2155 0.04550 116 95 17 4
2294 Thank God it’s not your day to mow the lawn. 1.2155 0.04550 116 95 17 4
2295 I told you not to use high heat! 1.2155 0.04382 116 94 19 3
2296 Well, this might improve your chances of being hired by the modern art museum after all... 1.2155 0.04711 116 96 15 5
2297 It's the best ironing board cover I ever had 1.2155 0.04382 116 94 19 3
2298 You’re sure impressed with yourself! 1.2155 0.04207 116 93 21 2
2299 This is exactly what the therapist meant by “weaponized incompetence.” 1.2155 0.04550 116 95 17 4
2300 I meant that we need to iron out our problems 1.2152 0.06155 79 67 7 5
2301 Now *that's* ironic! 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
2302 I told you it wouldn't save you any time at all. 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
2303 Honey, you know that's PERMANENT press right? 1.2151 0.05481 93 78 10 5
2304 What? You’d rather I hang dry your suit? 1.2151 0.04798 93 75 16 2
2305 Nice one Stan, I thought we agreed to iron things out… together. 1.2151 0.04284 93 73 20 0
2306 See, this is one of those opportunities the therapist talked about, when you could show a little vulnerability and not try to do everything yourself. 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
2307 The doctor said you need more iron, not you need to be ironed. 1.2151 0.04548 93 74 18 1
2308 Hun, I think you’re suffering from an iron deficiency. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
2309 It’s wash and wear, not iron and wear! 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
2310 So have we ironed out all our problems then? 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
2311 I see you used your grandmother's mangle again. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
2312 Give it up Tony... your Iron Man thingy just isn't working. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
2313 Stanley! Have you been flattening again? 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
2314 You missed a couple wrinkles on your forehead. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
2315 I think we disagree on how to iron out our differences 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
2316 I said ‘grease’.” Submitted by DouglasMonaghan Floral Park, New York 1100 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
2317 I told you not to keep repressing your feelings this way. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
2318 And you said I was repressed?! 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
2319 This is why I said wait an hour before taking any more edibles 1.2150 0.05148 107 90 11 6
2320 I thought you were depressed. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
2321 He wouldn't take it off. 1.2149 0.03929 121 96 24 1
2322 And here we thought that flat characters were only an element of fiction. 1.2149 0.04424 121 99 18 4
2323 All I said was, if you iron that suit you’d look a lot slimmer. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2324 Well this is ironic. 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
2325 Now let’s see you do Man of Steel 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2326 This isn't what I meant when I told you to iron yourself. 1.2143 0.04288 112 90 20 2
2327 Maybe a little starch after all? 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2328 Have you been taking your iron supplements?” 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2329 I don't think this is what your editor meant by hot off the press. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2330 You said, "This needs ironing." I said "Iron it yourself." IT! Iron IT yourself. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
2331 You look really steamed. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2332 This is ass backwards 1.2143 0.05475 98 83 9 6
2333 He’s wrinkle free? 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2334 Frank, c'mon! No one uses irons anymore. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2335 next time, eat more starches 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
2336 Aren’t you taking the flat Stanley project a bit too far Bob? 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
2337 I don’t know if this comical or ironic. 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
2338 Mathew took Linda's accusation of learned helplessness quite badly 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2339 ^ It's a combination of too much starch, being in a hurry, and giving blood twice in one month. " 1.2137 0.04514 117 96 17 4
2340 I think what they meant was a swim, a bike ride and a run. 1.2137 0.04830 117 98 13 6
2341 That suit looks flattering on you. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2342 This is not a time for your self-irony! 1.2136 0.05281 103 87 10 6
2343 You really shouldn't have tried to iron things out on your own. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2344 Oh Flat Stanley, now you are a brainless corporate sycophant! 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2345 I see you're dressed, pressed and ready for success. 1.2136 0.04286 103 82 20 1
2346 Um, dry cleaners don't work from home. 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
2347 I’m guessing you expect me to do the back? 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2348 At what point does a life hack become a life impairment? 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2349 Maybe you should try ironing things out in therapy 1.2136 0.04058 103 81 22 0
2350 Yet when I get treatments for my fine lines, I’m high maintenance? 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
2351 Just ironing out some lil flaws. 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2352 Maybe a little less starch next time 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
2353 Baby, you got to iron out your problems. 1.2135 0.04651 89 71 17 1
2354 Next time, let me do the Ironing! 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
2355 Trying to do your own laundry again? 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
2356 So then I said- wait, what just happened? 1.2135 0.05643 89 75 9 5
2357 So I take it you’re not into kinks. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
2358 No, I don't think this is what your therapist meant by "letting things iron themselves out." 1.2131 0.04234 122 99 20 3
2359 I told you to use the mid-management setting ! 1.2131 0.04391 122 100 18 4
2360 I meant ironing out our differences, figuratively! 1.2130 0.04373 108 87 19 2
2361 Now I'm just guessing here, but did you make another crack about the way the Melvina irons your shirts? 1.2130 0.04931 108 90 13 5
2362 Your joke is falling flat. 1.2130 0.04373 108 87 19 2
2363 When I suggested we should iron out our differences I didn’t mean it literally” 1.2130 0.04567 108 88 17 3
2364 You still won’t fit into a Priority Mail box, Stanley. 1.2130 0.05104 108 91 11 6
2365 When I asked you to do your own ironing, I should have known you'd be your usual passive-aggressive self. 1.2130 0.04373 108 87 19 2
2366 I've gotta admit those clothes do make you look thinner. 1.2130 0.04567 108 88 17 3
2367 Mom always said you didn't have a backbone 1.2130 0.04753 108 89 15 4
2368 Ironing 101: take the clothes off first. 1.2130 0.04373 108 87 19 2
2369 Oh, no! You don’t press a wool suit, a silk tie, and a permanent press shirt at the same heat setting! 1.2130 0.04753 108 89 15 4
2370 I’m so relieved to finally have you ironed out. 1.2130 0.04171 108 86 21 1
2371 This is what happens when you don't set it to polyester. 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
2372 Dinner’s off, but now they want you to be a Congressman. 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
2373 That's not what the chiropractor meant when she said to pump more iron. 1.2128 0.04505 94 75 18 1
2374 I hope you remembered extra starch on the crotch. 1.2128 0.05427 94 79 10 5
2375 I told you not to use the steam setting. 1.2128 0.04505 94 75 18 1
2376 It's a nice suit, but you're way over-pressed. 1.2128 0.04505 94 75 18 1
2377 I guess you're going as Flat Stanley this Purim. 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
2378 Don't press. 1.2126 0.04276 127 104 19 4
2379 The label says 'wrinkle-free,' not 'self iron!' 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
2380 I think you're taking the 'stuffed shirt' comments too seriously. 1.2125 0.04934 80 64 15 1
2381 You are supposed to take off your suit before you iron it. 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
2382 I guess there won't be a next time. 1.2124 0.04779 113 94 14 5
2383 Well, that irons things out. 1.2124 0.03865 113 89 24 0
2384 What I said was "Just go iron yourself"! 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
2385 Are you going to fix the crease? 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
2386 You forgot the starch. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2387 Is this what you cal ironing out your problems? 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2388 And that’s why you should never iron permanent press. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2389 Don't worry...I'm sure we'll get this all ironed out. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2390 How many times do I have to tell you Gumbo? Easy on the steam! And now you've upset the cat! 1.2121 0.05424 99 84 9 6
2391 . . .and this is why God invented dry cleaners. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2392 Stanley, you have a good job now. I can't keep mailing you everywhere. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
2393 You wouldn’t have had to do this if you’d eaten your polyesters. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
2394 You missed a wrinkle. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2395 Maybe now you can fix the printer. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2396 I always knew housework would flatten him. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2397 When I said I wanted a steamier relationship, this isn't what I meant. 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
2398 Well I couldn’t just leave you hanging. 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
2399 Ironman, the sequel 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2400 Apparently the "laying flat" movement is in trend now. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2401 Think they'll take him back? 1.2119 0.04792 118 99 13 6
2402 Sometimes you shouldn't try to do everything yourself. 1.2119 0.04480 118 97 17 4
2403 Did you forget starch? 1.2119 0.04638 118 98 15 5
2404 Flat out, doing the ironing 1.2119 0.04144 118 95 21 2
2405 Darling,I already told you: that suit does NOT make you look fat! 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2406 Wash and wear? 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2407 Stay there while I get some body stays. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2408 don't worry honey, I think I'm straight now 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2409 No, dear, that's not how people train for The Iron Man ... 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2410 Bob,you sure this is what the psychiatrist meant when he said, 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
2411 ‘Not now honey, I’m feeling a little flat and burnt out’ 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2412 I know you hate your job,but 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2413 I said, your "suit," not your "self." 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2414 Fabric softener isn't a dietary supplement, you know. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2415 Were you trying to iron out all of the details? 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2416 Looks like the cotton setting was too hot. 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2417 Must I do everything? 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2418 Really Greg? Are you *trying* to be ironic? This is the fifth year in a row you’ve dressed up as iron man for your work’s annual costume party! 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
2419 It appears you’ve ironed yourself flat. 1.2111 0.04326 90 71 19 0
2420 I told you to use some starch. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2421 Can't jump, can't iron! 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
2422 Honey, you used my left-handed iron. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2423 Nope. Still not what 'irony' means." 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
2424 I could have done that for you, Honey. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2425 Everything about you leaves me flat. 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
2426 They can't squeeze you in until Monday 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
2427 You guys think you got it rough. I used to have to iron my hair. 1.2110 0.04337 109 88 19 2
2428 OK. I will get a larger ironing board. You don’t have to be so dramatic!! 1.2110 0.05061 109 92 11 6
2429 This isn’t going to make you look any younger. 1.2110 0.04337 109 88 19 2
2430 Dear, you have serious ironing skills 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
2431 Honey, the Pharmacy has supplements. They've had them for years. 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
2432 Way to put the ‘pressed’ in depressed, honey. 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
2433 Now do the wrinkles in your face. 1.2105 0.04221 114 92 20 2
2434 I thought you wanted to make a splash, not a splat. 1.2105 0.04574 114 94 16 4
2435 Yes, I did indeed say that iron is good for you 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2436 Excessive literalism is just one of the wrinkles in our relationship. 1.2105 0.04740 114 95 14 5
2437 For the umpteenth time, NEVER use the 'STEAMROLLER' setting! 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2438 I’m not falling for the “blow on this” trick again! 1.2105 0.05374 95 80 10 5
2439 I can’t help you - I can’t understand those symbols on the fabric care labels either. 1.2105 0.04574 114 94 16 4
2440 Let’s iron things out. When idioms go awry. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2441 Aren't you getting a little old for this Stanley? 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2442 I really don't think that qualifies you for the iron man competition. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2443 No honey, your camel toe looks fine. 1.2101 0.04112 119 96 21 2
2444 The cat went unscathed but curiosity still required that a price be paid. 1.2101 0.04112 119 96 21 2
2445 I don't believe this is the best cure for Peyronies disease. 1.2101 0.04755 119 100 13 6
2446 Uh, Not quite what self-ironing means ... 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
2447 When I said you ought to 'straighten yourself out,' this wasn't what I had in mind. 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
2448 You WERE wearing a press badge. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2449 Didn't your mom teach you how to iron? 1.2100 0.05183 100 84 11 5
2450 Have you thought about an antidepressant? 1.2100 0.04333 100 80 19 1
2451 I said get dressed not pressed. 1.2100 0.04333 100 80 19 1
2452 I think iron supplements would have been fine. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2453 I told you Mel, Try a Chiropractor. But no. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2454 Okay, I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I’m really impressed by what you’ve achieved here 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2455 Win-win or multitasking? 1.2100 0.04094 100 79 21 0
2456 Feeling pressed for time? 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2457 Oh no. I meant Just the suit 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
2458 What did I tell you about trying TikTok trends? 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
2459 You’ve succeeded. That suit is very flattering. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
2460 Honey, I think you're taking efficiency too far 1.2099 0.04553 81 64 17 0
2461 Next time, plug in the damned iron, Bob! 1.2095 0.05008 105 88 12 5
2462 Self ironing suit isn’t meant literally 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2463 I told you to iron out your difficulties not to iron yourself 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2464 Almost ready for congress’s GOP! 1.2095 0.05008 105 88 12 5
2465 You're still going to work, right? 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
2466 You need more starch in your collar! 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2467 Forgot the starch again? 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2468 It's not all about you. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2469 You missed a wrinkle or two, mostly in your face. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2470 Our relationship's gone flat. It's run out of steam. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2471 Too much starch again? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2472 I was just trying to get myself straightened out 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2473 He said,we should iron out our problems, so I did! 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2474 You overdid it. That’s why you always look so rundown. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2475 I said to iron it yourself not to iron yourself 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2476 Before you put them on, before you put them on! 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2477 I....AM...IRONED MAN 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2478 This is NOT what I meant when I told you to iron things out. 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2479 I'm really stretched out! 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2480 Aren’t you a getting little old for a Flat Stanley phase? 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
2481 Gees...you look like you've been through the wringer! 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
2482 That's not what I meant by ironing out our differences. 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
2483 … Ohh, this is what the kids meant when they said you seemed ‘pressed’! 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
2484 when I said "go iron yourself" it was a figure of speech 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2485 Just another opportunity for a biracial couple to make the news .... 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2486 Looks like you're having a flat day. 1.2088 0.04284 91 72 19 0
2487 Wanna hang out? 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
2488 My bad, I thought you said you were DE-pressed. 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2489 What do you call it, 'The Persistence of Stupidity?' 1.2088 0.05745 91 78 7 6
2490 Your OCD therapist just called and canceled. 1.2087 0.04366 115 94 18 3
2491 When I pressed him about it, he folded. 1.2087 0.04537 115 95 16 4
2492 Can't you simply diet like everyone else? 1.2087 0.04188 115 93 20 2
2493 You could’ve tried cutting out bread first. 1.2087 0.04188 115 93 20 2
2494 I did not mean for you to take me literally! 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2495 There! Now you know how to iron. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2496 Ironically, this suits you. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2497 This is no way to iron out your problems. 1.2083 0.04167 96 76 20 0
2498 I’m sorry Stanley, but I just couldn’t find enough stamps! 1.2083 0.05524 96 82 8 6
2499 The irony of it all finally got to him. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2500 I said one little bulge would be tolerated. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2501 I told you permanent press was a gimmick. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2502 And this is how we iron out our differences? 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2503 So this is where the Flat Stanley idea started. 1.2083 0.04167 96 76 20 0
2504 It looks like you have a pressing appointment. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2505 OK, you've made your point. You're flat broke. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2506 Talk about irony. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2507 I get it. We’ 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2508 Should I throw you into the spin cycle and fill you out again? 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2509 It says “Lay flat to dry.” Just do it. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2510 Maybe now you'll listen and buy wrinkle-free next time 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2511 Take the suit off first. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2512 Try the fluff cycle? 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2513 I flat out told you to leave the ironing to me! 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2514 It works out better if you take the suit off first... 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2515 Okay, Salvador, DALL-E can't do everything. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2516 Honey, it's Black Lives Matter, not Flat Lives Matter 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2517 -Hope I get flat tax rate 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2518 I told you so: there’s saving time, and there’s wearing yourself out. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2519 I don't think that is the iron deficiency your doctor meant. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2520 The Persistence of Laundry 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
2521 That's a Wash and Wear, not a Wear and Iron suit! 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2522 I don't see how being flat means you'll get to travel the world for free, Stanley. 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
2523 I think there are better ways to relieve stress 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2524 That's nothing...I used to iron my hair. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2525 What are you gonna do about the other side Steve? 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
2526 You're needed for another pressing situation, your brother just slipped in through the mail slot." 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
2527 I'd be more impressed if you had gotten your priorities straight. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
2528 I only meant your top half. 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2529 Stanley! What ever happened to the bulletin board? 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2530 Honey, you may be taking this iron salesman gig too seriously. 1.2075 0.04589 106 87 16 3
2531 this is going to take more than starch... 1.2075 0.04589 106 87 16 3
2532 Oh, Stanley, how ironic! 1.2075 0.04179 106 85 20 1
2533 You set it too hot. 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2534 I told you not to give up starch. 1.2075 0.04179 106 85 20 1
2535 It’s called “flat tire syndrome”. 1.2075 0.03958 106 84 22 0
2536 Why didn't we think of this years ago? 1.2075 0.04179 106 85 20 1
2537 That's incredible! You did it without even plugging it in! 1.2075 0.04780 106 88 14 4
2538 Oh, Dad, poor Dad, now Mama can hang you in the closet...! 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2539 I know I said we have some things to iron out… 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2540 You wouldn't have had to iron if you used the "dryer's wrinkle control" setting. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
2541 I thought I had tried all the anti-wrinkle remedies! 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
2542 It may save some time, Harry, but you're still not going to fit through the mail slot next time you lose your keys. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
2543 I get it Bob, you’re bored 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
2544 A little more starch. 1.2072 0.04455 111 91 17 3
2545 Stanley, wrong order! Iron first, dress second! 1.2072 0.04455 111 91 17 3
2546 I appreciate you are willing to try and iron this out 1.2072 0.04635 111 92 15 4
2547 You never listen! I told you this suit was wash and wear. 1.2072 0.04455 111 91 17 3
2548 Generally speaking, Mr. Ogtot, the laundry facilities are not for physical self-improvement. Still though, if you try this again, don't linger on the tie. 1.2072 0.04267 111 90 19 2
2549 That's not what "self-iron" means. 1.2072 0.04455 111 91 17 3
2550 I told him that wasn't how you get rid of wrinkles. 1.2072 0.04455 111 91 17 3
2551 I don't think that's what the saying "iron things out" means hun 1.2072 0.04267 111 90 19 2
2552 ChatGPT wrote this one. 1.2072 0.04635 111 92 15 4
2553 This kind of horseshit is why I’m divorcing you. 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
2554 That wasn't the iron man that I had in mind. 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
2555 I told you, you're gonna need more starch. 1.2069 0.04502 116 96 16 4
2556 This isn't what I meant when I said "straighten up." 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
2557 This is not what I meant when I said straighten yourself out. 1.2069 0.04368 87 69 18 0
2558 That's not how we do it on Earth, dear ! 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
2559 Hmm ...'Flat Stanley' and 'Stanley Steamer' are taken. How 'bout 'Stancake?' 1.2066 0.04533 121 101 15 5
2560 Bob, I said Irony, not Ironing! 1.2066 0.04378 121 100 17 4
2561 I think he flipped; too much pressing business. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2562 I knew it wasn't just your "high metabolism". 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2563 THIS is what you did all day? 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2564 I thought it was time to iron out our problems. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2565 I've told you a thousand times; you need to press the "Steam" button ! 1.2065 0.04244 92 73 19 0
2566 You can't be that board 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2567 maybe there was a less drastic demonstration 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2568 Your creases are uneven. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2569 Carl, when I said you had an inflated opinion of yourself... 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2570 You’ll do anything to get out of walking the dog. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2571 Sweetie, are you sure you didn't misinterpret the care instructions tag on your new suit? 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2572 How’s that hot stone massage hack working for you now? 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2573 Now do my hair. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2574 Well, no wonder, you forgot the spray starch. 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
2575 Mom says it's my turn next. Then the cat. Then you again if you want. 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
2576 Running late again? 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
2577 Well I sure hope you cleaned the lint trap after you finished in the dryer. 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
2578 That's not what I meant when I said you should "Let off a little steam!" 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
2579 Looks good, except that you forgot to do your head. 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
2580 The label said “dry clean only” ! 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
2581 Oh, I thought you said you were 'depressed.' 1.2062 0.05271 97 82 10 5
2582 When I told you that you were getting wrinkles, his is not what I was thinking. 1.2062 0.04381 97 78 18 1
2583 Some people will try anything to get rid of wrinkles! 1.2062 0.04381 97 78 18 1
2584 You're flat-out drunk again, Henry. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2585 Take off your glasses. They’re not perma-press. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2586 So, George, other than that, what do you think of my self driving iron? 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2587 I don’t think you understood the Doc when he said depressed. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2588 I'm upset...but also amazed that you got all of the creases out. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
2589 This is what we call “man.” It always thinks it knows how to do it better. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2590 Did it hurt? 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2591 You’re taking this self-care thing way too far. 1.2059 0.04023 102 81 21 0
2592 Press me like one of your french shirts 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
2593 I really think you're carrying this "wash and wear" thing too far. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
2594 I told him,”Either you straighten yourself out or I’ll do it for you.” 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2595 I realize that I probably seem cool, but I’m legit freaking out on the inside. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
2596 Or, you could just moisturize. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2597 I get it, you’re a busy man.” Farzeen Firoozi, New York, New Yor 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
2598 Maybe go with light starch next time 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
2599 s “when you said you had some things to iron out I never would have figured…” 1.2059 0.05276 102 87 9 6
2600 I’m just noticing now, but you’ve really been wearing yourself thin lately. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2601 I'm sorry dear, but you're still using irony wrong. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2602 Thanks for straightening me out! 1.2056 0.04351 107 87 18 2
2603 You telling me this is a pressing matter is just silly. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2604 Yeah, the label should say “wash OR wear.” 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2605 That's a rather passive-aggressive approach to "iron it yourself." 1.2056 0.04351 107 87 18 2
2606 More pain, no gain, no crease. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2607 When I told you to straighten yourself out, this is not what I had in mind. 1.2056 0.04351 107 87 18 2
2608 There has got to be a better way to fit on those new airplane seats. 1.2054 0.04233 112 91 19 2
2609 Honey, if you think this is what your nutritionist meant when she said you have a pressing need to add a daily iron supplement, you are flat wrong." 1.2054 0.04769 112 94 13 5
2610 I'm still not sure you'll fold well into my carry on bag. 1.2054 0.04419 112 92 17 3
2611 I still don't think it's going to save you that much time... 1.2054 0.04597 112 93 15 4
2612 I know I said we have some kinks to iron out, but... 1.2054 0.04039 112 90 21 1
2613 Does this mean you are prepairing your backbone to ask for a raise today? 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
2614 You wouldn't need to be ironed if you would just stay out of the dryer. 1.2051 0.04467 117 97 16 4
2615 I know you're still upset about getting 2nd place in the limbo contest but you need to let it go 1.2051 0.05873 78 66 8 4
2616 At least you could have taken those expensive shoes off, before ironing! 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2617 Bob has unwavering faith in an independent press. 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
2618 May I presume you got ironing bored? 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2619 I hope your suit isn't permanent press. 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
2620 you give new meaning to board meeting 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
2621 Sometimes it feels like we’re living in different dimensions. 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
2622 This is what happens when you nap through the training video. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
2623 You’re ass. is so flat i am leaving you abd taking the cat with me LOL 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
2624 Now that’s lazy. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2625 You may have taken your new job in the Flat Iron District at bit too literally 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
2626 You finally ironed out your issues! 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
2627 You need more iron 1.2045 0.04325 88 70 18 0
2628 My Mother was right,you are an idiot 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
2629 And now comes when you say you are flattered, right? 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
2630 Don't worry. We'll get this ironed out. 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
2631 If Flat Stanley can settle for permapress, why can’t you? 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2632 Believe me,though you are very smart...it works better when it's empty 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2633 Did the cat do this? 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2634 The mayor said it's urgent, there's a new wrinkle. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2635 Pass me the starch honey? 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2636 I love that this skinsuit comes with a handy iron holder. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2637 Well, we’ve finally ironed out our biggest issue. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2638 Is this what you meant when you said you were implementing a new “onboarding” program? 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2639 I am having a midlife crease. 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2640 I thought you were cutting down on starches. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2641 That is not how you touch up a suit. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2642 You've got some issues. Some of them are pressing. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2643 Stop eyeing Whiskers dear! and leave the curtains alone - we are on the 19th floor - remember! 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2644 Did you consider simply using the Perma-Press cycle? 1.2041 0.04342 98 79 18 1
2645 We will never iron this out. 1.2041 0.04342 98 79 18 1
2646 Flat Stlaney, the domestic years. 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2647 He's entering Ironman this year. 1.2041 0.05222 98 83 10 5
2648 For Iron Man you shouldn't use the steam setting. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2649 Don’t think you can just escape into 2-D! 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2650 I told you it was dry clean only. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2651 Yes, you did have to take the clothes off first. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2652 Wow Dave, way to iron out your issues with me 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2653 To be honest, I thought you’d be over Flat Stanley by now. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2654 I called your guy at fluff & fold. They’re on their way. 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2655 Ever consider Botox over this? 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2656 I told you to always point it away from you! 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2657 You know Botox gets the wrinkles out. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2658 When I said you better straighten yourself out, I didn't mean literally. 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2659 Was that salesman for the pants pressing machine here? 1.2039 0.03989 103 82 21 0
2660 You might have gone just a little heavy on the starch. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2661 I knew that new iron was more than he could manage. 1.2039 0.03989 103 82 21 0
2662 That's the wrong way to iron out our marriage problems. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2663 As clever as it seems, this is not going to solve your iron deficiency 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2664 Stanley, you’re flat! 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2665 Ferris, I wasn't serious about those flattering remarks. How many times do we need to have the situational irony vs. literal irony talk? 1.2037 0.04511 108 89 16 3
2666 The therapist said that if we're going to iron out our differences, we have to work as a team. 1.2037 0.04511 108 89 16 3
2667 No! No! I said you needed to get the wrinkles out of your Birthday Suit!!! 1.2037 0.04315 108 88 18 2
2668 This is not what I meant by "do your own ironing." 1.2037 0.04699 108 90 14 4
2669 Yeah, Tucker Carlson's confession hit me pretty hard too. 1.2035 0.04560 113 94 15 4
2670 My mom warned me about men that think they know everything. 1.2035 0.04383 113 93 17 3
2671 There’s *still* no room for you on the girls’ trip. 1.2035 0.04730 113 95 13 5
2672 This isn’t how you treat anemia babe. 1.2034 0.04432 118 98 16 4
2673 Maybe Botox would have been the better choice 1.2034 0.04265 118 97 18 3
2674 I know we should iron things out, but you're going overboard. 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
2675 Admittedly, I said that you needed to learn to iron yourself. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
2676 I told you the excuse had to be iron clad. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2677 The suit looks fine Gerald 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
2678 You told me you were wash and wear. 1.2024 0.04410 84 67 17 0
2679 Did you not read the instructions? They hang to dry. 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
2680 This is not what the doctor meant when she said you need to 'iron out the kinks in your back.' 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2681 Honey you need to stop seeing that chiropractor. 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
2682 Okay, enough of that flat Stanley stuff 1.2024 0.05813 84 72 7 5
2683 A few more problems to iron out and you 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
2684 I was drunk when I told you I like tall men. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2685 No worries. Our over-sized dryer can fluff you back up. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2686 OK, fine, I'll admit I'm better than you at this one chore. 1.2024 0.04410 84 67 17 0
2687 I think you’re overusing the ‘Irony’ setting. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
2688 Looks like you're suffering from an iron deficiency. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2689 Wow, it has been quite a while since you went in to the office. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2690 That’s true: everything DOES iron itself out, eventually. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2691 'Maybe you should try Botox next time' 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
2692 Should I pick you up from the dry cleaners? 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2693 That was bound to happen---he's normally left-handed. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
2694 Show me your other side 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
2695 Sorry but the position is for a laundry manager, not a press agent. 1.2022 0.05577 89 76 8 5
2696 Does this really save time? 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
2697 At least now your looks match your character 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
2698 Sweetheart, Don Johnson never pressed his suit, why should you? 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
2699 This iron man has a stark difference to the one I had in mind. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
2700 Any other chores you'd like to try, Arthur? 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
2701 No. You shrunk it, you iron it. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2702 just tell them you had a pressing engagement. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2703 You're not even a stuffed shirt. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2704 ‘When you said you were going for a steam, I didn’t picture this.’ 1.2021 0.04164 94 75 19 0
2705 This is what you meant about having pressing needs?! 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2706 When I suggested that you iron out the wrinkles, I meant psychologically. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2707 Maybe take off the suit next time 1.2021 0.04430 94 76 17 1
2708 This is not what I meant when I said we had to iron out our relationship. 1.2021 0.04164 94 75 19 0
2709 Phyllis says you flatter yourself a bit much. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2710 We're gonna need a bigger ironing board. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
2711 You said we needed to iron out all of our issues 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2712 Read the label – – no ironing needed. 1.2021 0.04430 94 76 17 1
2713 Not what I thought when you said you'd be home in no time flat. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
2714 Are you looking for a flattening comment? 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
2715 There was a safety warning right on it! 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
2716 I warned you about eating too much starch Frank Buckley Andover MA 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2717 Do you need help? 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2718 I guess I will walk you today 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2719 Are you sure this is how you mother taught you to do the ironing? 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2720 No worry lines, no kinks, you look totally at ease. See? Ironing is relaxing. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
2721 Time saving? Mother was right. You are clueless, Henry. 1.2020 0.04056 99 79 20 0
2722 he told me to get the wrinkles out..... 1.2020 0.04056 99 79 20 0
2723 OCD looks good on you! 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
2724 No… I don’t think the wrinkles are going to make you stand out… 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2725 It's gonna take more than irioning out a few creases. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2726 I feel like our marriage has gone a little flat. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2727 I think we both need to iron some things out. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
2728 Look dear, better than Botox at a fraction of the cost. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2729 You’re right, being on top WILL be easier now! 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2730 Is this just another one of your crazy shortcuts gone awry? 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2731 There's irony in your self-flattery. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2732 Sorry, Kevin McCarthy, ironing won't help. You just have no spine. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2733 Darling, did you get all your problems ironed out? 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
2734 Once again you forgot to iron the back. 1.2019 0.05182 104 89 9 6
2735 Stanley, we’ve gone through this already. You’re not required to make yourself flat to travel! 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2736 This obsession with “The Thin Man” has gone too far. 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
2737 no, just the suit 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
2738 I told you to eat a little starch. 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
2739 It's about time we ironed out our differences. 1.2018 0.05011 109 93 10 6
2740 Honey, Botox might look more natural. 1.2018 0.04280 109 89 18 2
2741 Oh, the irony of self-inflicted harm. 1.2018 0.03976 114 92 21 1
2742 Let's just say, as a possession, this does not bring me joy. 1.2018 0.04166 114 93 19 2
2743 You said you wanted to iron things out between us, but this is ridiculous! 1.2017 0.04061 119 97 20 2
2744 When I said you needed to iron out the kinks in our relationship this is NOT what I had in mind! 1.2017 0.03694 119 95 24 0
2745 Did you use too much starch again? 1.2016 0.04126 124 102 19 3
2746 I don't think you understand self-care. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2747 I think you used a tad too much steam there, Jeff. Oh, and another thing... 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
2748 Oh, you're not that Iron Man. 1.2000 0.04766 105 88 13 4
2749 Next time iron the suit without you in it. 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
2750 Now I think you'll fit in a carry-on. 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
2751 "This isn't irony, either. 1.2000 0.04264 100 81 18 1
2752 Hold on, I'll get the starch. 1.2000 0.05312 95 81 9 5
2753 I think your massage gun is broken 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2754 Yet another reason to stick with permanent press. 1.2000 0.04264 100 81 18 1
2755 I thought you said no starch. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
2756 This is why I suggested you let me do the ironing. 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
2757 Let's just say that's not what most people think is ironic. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2758 How much will It cost to Flatter You ? 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2759 You might have used a little too much starch. 1.2000