Contest #838


Cartoon

838


Name Value
Submission deadline -
Voting started -
Voting ended -
Finalists announced -
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued -
Number of captions 6062
Number of responses 711545
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 It’s a win-win. He was delicious, and now we’ve got a flashlight. 1.6697 0.02447 1096 600 258 238
1 And all that was left was a giant carbon footprint 1.6695 0.01258 2959 1343 1251 365
2 And then he saw something that made his blood run warm. 1.6613 0.01235 3171 1486 1273 412
3 Why not just exhale and save the batteries? 1.6242 0.01357 2581 1280 991 310
4 And then you wake up in a museum naked. 1.6037 0.02014 1466 841 365 260
5 I always get the damn merit badges stuck in my teeth. 1.5905 0.01361 2645 1411 906 328
6 Suddenly she heard an asteroid snap. She lay there, petrified. 1.5789 0.01263 2484 1235 1060 189
7 Do I have anyone stuck in my teeth? 1.5768 0.01803 1770 1042 435 293
8 Dad, that joke is 100 million years old! 1.5757 0.01777 1810 1064 450 296
9 Stop already! You’re making me a nervous rex. 1.5718 0.02741 808 492 170 146
10 And his caption was lost forever. 1.5713 0.01407 2622 1483 780 359
11 Is there someone in my teeth? 1.5684 0.01569 2479 1522 505 452
12 Oooh, your stories make my blood run warm. 1.5637 0.01405 2269 1219 821 229
13 Stop it! It makes you look like a monster! 1.5554 0.01966 1408 835 364 209
14 Then they strung his bones together with wire and hung them from the ceiling! 1.5543 0.01849 1474 846 439 189
15 Is anyone stuck in my teeth? 1.5532 0.01753 1804 1083 444 277
16 Wait: You have thumbs?! 1.5531 0.01855 1611 967 397 247
17 I can't tell if I'm still hungry or if he has his phone on vibrate. 1.5448 0.02061 1362 845 292 225
18 …and there, in the museum lobby, missing half his bones, was Uncle Herman! 1.5443 0.02078 1288 785 305 198
19 It’s a tale as old as, well, us. 1.5436 0.01981 1157 647 391 119
20 And then they wired his bones together and put him in a museum. 1.5391 0.01808 1508 879 445 184
21 Please,not the one about the asteroid. 1.5359 0.02069 1241 751 315 175
22 Legend says that the meteor is still out there... 1.5303 0.01994 1288 774 345 169
23 And then they turned Godzilla… INTO A MUSICAL. 1.5257 0.02138 1185 735 277 173
24 Yeah, yeah...In a certain kind of light you look just like Godzilla. 1.5220 0.02069 1157 695 320 142
25 Don't do that. It makes you look scary. 1.5215 0.02130 1162 717 284 161
26 The big ones were forcing the little ones to eat vegetables 1.5215 0.02288 815 462 281 72
27 Then they hang your bones and use your corpse for fuel 1.5156 0.01997 995 555 367 73
28 You look like Marjorie Taylor Greene 1.5147 0.02357 1055 689 189 177
29 I dunno, this is what those campers were doing before we ate them 1.5113 0.02439 882 552 209 121
30 And then, they used our remains to power their cars! 1.5084 0.02306 958 595 239 124
31 And all this time I didn't think our front legs were good for anything! 1.5082 0.02289 970 602 243 125
32 Quoth the Raptor ‘Carnivore.’ 1.5078 0.02495 967 646 151 170
33 You think this is scary, you should have seen the look on the face of the guy I took this from 1.5070 0.02371 931 586 218 127
34 You've got someone in your teeth. 1.5064 0.02336 934 582 231 121
35 It'd probably be more chilling if we weren't already cold-blooded. 1.5058 0.02007 943 527 355 61
36 Then suddenly, they heard a big BANG. The end.” 1.5039 0.02560 905 604 146 155
37 So I guess this means you forgot the marshmallows. 1.5038 0.02347 915 570 229 116
38 Is this going to be the asteroid one again? 1.4971 0.02340 849 518 240 91
39 Are we dinosaurs or dragons? I’m so high right now. 1.4966 0.02744 739 485 141 113
40 ...and they'll use our liquified bones to fuel mid-size sedans 1.4964 0.02481 822 519 198 105
41 And in millions of years we’ll just be birds. 1.4945 0.02314 819 491 251 77
42 Something about this sudden cold snap is really bothering me. 1.4938 0.02163 802 456 296 50
43 I do like your karaoke, Dino. But "I Will Survive" just makes me uncomfortable.. 1.4938 0.02503 802 507 194 101
44 It's true! Long ago Humans used to roam the Earth! 1.4934 0.02563 756 476 187 93
45 And they’ll use your decayed bones as fuel to travel all around Earth! 1.4918 0.02512 793 502 192 99
46 You have a bit of pterodactyl in your teeth. 1.4910 0.02233 780 451 275 54
47 Do I have someone between my teeth? 1.4902 0.02607 765 493 169 103
48 Can't we just have a nice evening by the fire without all the drama? 1.4888 0.02197 759 432 283 44
49 Then, the Asteroid Deniers got elected. 1.4888 0.02667 757 496 152 109
50 I got my braces off!! 1.4874 0.02623 751 485 166 100
51 And their young are born . . . alive! 1.4856 0.02610 727 463 175 89
52 They all have smooth, near hair-less skin, ten toes, and a scream that can turn you into pudding. They call them toddlers. 1.4855 0.02673 725 470 158 97
53 And then all of Earth became a graveyard where, to this day, they are still digging up our bones… 1.4850 0.02683 734 480 152 102
54 You always ruin your campfire stories by going too over-the-top. Extinction, Roy? I mean, really? 1.4840 0.02692 721 470 153 98
55 You're scaring the coprolite out of me. 1.4840 0.02268 719 414 262 43
56 I found it when digging through the remains of the previous civilization!” 1.4824 0.02653 740 483 157 100
57 Call me old school, but breathing fire is a lot scarier! 1.4798 0.02695 694 449 157 88
58 Tell me that one about civilization again. 1.4795 0.02407 684 406 228 50
59 …then Puff heard the eeriest noise coming from the autumn mist… 1.4794 0.02694 678 435 161 82
60 And then he said 'I just need to find 11,780 votes'... 1.4790 0.02822 668 442 132 94
61 Do Trump again! 1.4764 0.02841 657 436 129 92
62 Any campers stuck in my teeth? 1.4764 0.02699 657 419 163 75
63 And then they put your bones on display for all to see. 1.4760 0.02773 647 419 148 80
64 At night, they carry these. They are easy to spot. And, they are delicious. 1.4752 0.02730 644 412 158 74
65 Does this face look extinct to you? 1.4745 0.02712 647 413 161 73
66 Legend has it the meteor is still out there.... 1.4725 0.02805 637 416 141 80
67 No more Marjorie Taylor Greene impressions. I didn't sleep at all last night. 1.4725 0.03062 582 393 103 86
68 You should have asked the guy how to turn it off before you ate him. 1.4712 0.02787 626 405 147 74
69 I learned the flashlight trick from a cub scout I ate. 1.4707 0.02697 631 400 165 66
70 Either turn it off, or go floss. 1.4694 0.02835 620 406 137 77
71 It was a dark and stormy triassic period... 1.4693 0.02719 618 392 162 64
72 Christamighty, stop it, Griff. It makes you look like Trump. 1.4664 0.03005 596 404 106 86
73 ...so George slew him with his lance . In gratitude, the Catholic Church made him a saint and we've been Protestants ever since." 1.4648 0.03066 583 399 97 87
74 This isn't going to be another meteor story, is it? 1.4640 0.03065 528 348 115 65
75 And just like that we were all gone…! Except for Alligators 1.4628 0.02732 592 375 160 57
76 Is there something in my teeth? 1.4603 0.02933 554 362 129 63
77 Stop it! You look like some kind of monster! 1.4599 0.02968 548 360 124 64
78 So the dinosaurs were wiped out but the dragons survived? 1.4590 0.02595 536 320 186 30
79 Is that a true story, dad?" "Ha ha! Of course not, son. There's no such thing as asteroids. 1.4576 0.02969 542 356 124 62
80 I'm so glad we saw those hikers. We got dinner and a show. 1.4567 0.03328 416 270 102 44
81 Does this light make my face look extinct? 1.4549 0.03021 521 343 119 59
82 Then the humans burned our gooey remains in their cars. 1.4537 0.02595 518 309 183 26
83 The only scary part of this story is wondering where you got the flashlight. 1.4526 0.03074 517 345 110 62
84 And his bones were displayed in a museum! 1.4524 0.03021 515 339 119 57
85 And the big, bad space rock came closer... and closer... 1.4519 0.02917 509 326 136 47
86 I bet the 2-leggeds will claim to have discovered this too. 1.4502 0.03091 502 334 110 58
87 And they all became... OIL! 1.4498 0.03096 498 331 110 57
88 Is there any Boy Scout stuck in my teeth? 1.4487 0.03074 497 329 113 55
89 ...and then the dragon slayer said "remember me, my name is George Santos." 1.4482 0.03229 502 346 87 69
90 Tell the one about the little girl who lives over the bed. 1.4477 0.02919 411 248 142 21
91 Yeah, yeah, burning ball from the sky blah blah blah - say something scary! 1.4477 0.03015 516 342 117 57
92 And all they found were his bones. 1.4472 0.03125 483 321 108 54
93 So the meteor gets closer, and closer. 1.4470 0.03037 481 313 121 47
94 Stupid story--no big rock can kill us all! 1.4451 0.03055 492 325 115 52
95 They say Saint George still walks this forest. 1.4449 0.03078 481 317 114 50
96 So what happened AFTER he announced he was running for president again in 2024? 1.4433 0.03260 467 318 91 58
97 And then the terrified hiker screamed, "Here, take the damned flashlight!" 1.4430 0.03065 465 303 118 44
98 ... and the terrible monsters turned their victims into a gooey brown liquid to fuel their terrible machines. 1.4413 0.03119 460 303 111 46
99 But the real killer was diabetes. 1.4408 0.02965 456 290 131 35
100 And they'll dig up your bones and wire them together and put them on display. 1.4400 0.03184 450 299 104 47
101 The itch kept getting worse, but his arms still couldn't reach it. 1.4398 0.03071 457 298 117 42
102 Your Great Uncle Puff was last seen touring with The Grateful Dead in the early 90s. 1.4395 0.03283 446 302 92 52
103 Yes, I see it I warned you to eat only Republicans. They have no fiber. 1.4388 0.03386 449 312 77 60
104 Is that hiker still stuck in my teeth? 1.4385 0.03199 447 298 102 47
105 And eventually, there were humans swarming everywhere 1.4379 0.03188 443 294 104 45
106 You know what’s scary? That you can work a flashlight. 1.4378 0.03269 434 291 96 47
107 It was a dark and scary night in a land called Honalee… 1.4374 0.03203 455 306 99 50
108 You didn’t have to eat them. They would have let you play with the flashlight if you just asked. 1.4374 0.03257 439 295 96 48
109 He was Purple. And his name was Barney. 1.4355 0.03348 434 297 85 52
110 Just turn it off your gonna attract Monthras 1.4352 0.03246 432 289 98 45
111 And in millions of years you are turned into...OIL 1.4352 0.03179 432 285 106 41
112 Do any of these stories end with us winning? 1.4346 0.03217 428 284 102 42
113 Tell me, do I look like I'm extinct!? 1.4333 0.03330 420 284 90 46
114 And then we all became extinct, without getting credit for discovering fire or inventing the flashlight. 1.4323 0.03307 421 284 92 45
115 Where did you find batteries?" 1.4313 0.03249 422 282 98 42
116 The scary part is when the little monkeys lose their hair and take over the world. 1.4312 0.03408 429 298 77 54
117 Then the evil knight in shining armor slayed the poor dragon and escaped with the wicked princess. 1.4300 0.03276 414 277 96 41
118 Forget it, Eddie, you'll never look like Godzilla. 1.4300 0.03517 414 291 68 55
119 Do I have any Boy Scout in my teeth? 1.4289 0.03292 408 273 95 40
120 Good try Dave but Tucker Carlson is still scarier. 1.4282 0.03433 411 284 78 49
121 The phonecall is coming from inside your stomach! 1.4279 0.03401 402 274 84 44
122 … and then the last human looked at me and said: I thought you didn’t exist! And I said: welcome to extinction, pal! 1.4279 0.03613 402 286 60 56
123 …and then they forgot to cancel the free trial. 1.4275 0.03310 414 280 91 43
124 ... Then they took this old stuff out of the ground and burned it, and the planet got hot, and the water rose, and they became extinct. The end 1.4275 0.03458 407 282 76 49
125 It’s not scary and you’re wasting batteries. 1.4267 0.03432 382 258 85 39
126 I call it "fire to go." 1.4261 0.03418 399 273 82 44
127 You've still got camper stuck between your teeth. 1.4253 0.03425 395 270 82 43
128 And then someone yelled, “IT’S AN ASTEROID!” 1.4249 0.03380 393 266 87 40
129 Yes, I see it now--I'll get the tweezers 1.4247 0.03344 405 275 88 42
130 And then the humans searched for the dead dinosaurs’ bones, put them together like a puzzle, and displayed them for other humans’ ENJOYMENT! 1.4242 0.03346 389 261 91 37
131 Quit trying to scare me with extinction stories! 1.4236 0.03343 399 270 89 40
132 ...And the birds were US the whole time! 1.4231 0.03320 390 261 93 36
133 Long ago humans roamed the land. 1.4223 0.03443 386 264 81 41
134 Do that one where Kari Lake hears she lost. 1.4220 0.03634 391 279 59 53
135 You said to pack light.” 1.4219 0.03534 384 267 72 45
136 You still have a piece of camper stuck between your teeth. 1.4206 0.03455 378 258 81 39
137 So … do I look extinct now? 1.4202 0.03385 376 253 88 35
138 Chicken... they tasted like chicken. 1.4199 0.03514 381 264 74 43
139 Got it on Amazon, free delivery, and the delivery person was delicious 1.4198 0.03662 374 265 61 48
140 And an asteroid hit the earth and turned us all into petro-chemicals. The end. Hahahah, I got you! 1.4198 0.03522 374 258 75 41
141 Stop it! It makes you look like Ted Cruz. 1.4191 0.03430 408 285 75 48
142 Here's a trick to scare off predators at night. 1.4182 0.03274 373 246 98 29
143 Then he said, "I'm a paleontologist." 1.4181 0.03489 354 239 82 33
144 Then I told them I was going to run for a third time in 2024. 1.4180 0.03612 378 267 64 47
145 See, from below, it makes even a face like mine look scary. 1.4178 0.03501 371 255 77 39
146 And then we return as gas! 1.4173 0.03408 369 249 86 34
147 Noah’s yacht party was today?! 1.4169 0.03486 367 251 79 37
148 And then the foolish human walked right up to me and said 'nice Halloween costume!' 1.4160 0.03491 363 248 79 36
149 Oooh, you scared me! I can't wait to get home under Billy's bed! 1.4160 0.03599 363 253 69 41
150 And no one - I mean no one- had a plan to knock it off course! 1.4134 0.03569 358 248 72 38
151 Don't know what's scarier, the flashlight trick or you starting this campfire with your breath. 1.4129 0.03584 356 247 71 38
152 And when you do this they run away screaming! 1.4118 0.03372 374 254 86 34
153 Any idea how they got the fire inside this thing?" 1.4114 0.03395 350 234 88 28
154 And after they turned him purple, they named him Barney! 1.4103 0.03366 368 249 87 32
155 And then a giant ball of fire fell from the sky and BOO, everyone died. 1.4099 0.03459 344 232 83 29
156 Relax, it's just a scary story! Like extinction could ever really happen! 1.4095 0.03510 337 228 80 29
157 Do you see this face? It's not a happy one. You were supposed to bring the marshmallows. 1.4094 0.03642 342 238 68 36
158 Does this make me look scary? 1.4092 0.03510 347 237 78 32
159 When Fred didn't laugh at his jokes, Bob realized just how cold blooded his friend really was. 1.4092 0.03446 369 254 79 36
160 Do I have anyone in my teeth? 1.4092 0.03592 369 261 65 43
161 You know you can beathe fire, right? 1.4083 0.03697 338 237 64 37
162 '"We might be scary and ugly now but in a million years, kids will love us." 1.4078 0.03652 358 254 62 42
163 I camp out here to recharge my batteries.” 1.4075 0.03835 346 251 49 46
164 But its just a theory though, right? 1.4074 0.03193 378 251 100 27
165 Turn that off! We're gonna need those batteries when we reach Tokyo tomorrow night. 1.4064 0.03616 342 238 69 35
166 So, my Mom the astronomer says we're in for a big surprise. 1.4064 0.03640 342 239 67 36
167 Matt Gratz? Lauren Boebert? No - wait - I got it! Marjorie Taylor Greene!!! 1.4054 0.03760 333 236 59 38
168 Not the one about the meteor again. 1.4051 0.03555 353 246 71 36
169 Is there anyone in my teeth? 1.4048 0.03473 331 223 82 26
170 The great fireball struck, then there was darkness… just kidding! 1.4042 0.03628 334 232 69 33
171 And then they crawl up your leg and suck your blood. They’re called ‘ticks’. 1.4042 0.03845 334 241 51 42
172 Look! I’m a lounge lizard! 1.4036 0.03517 332 226 78 28
173 Oh no, not that meteorite story again. 1.4034 0.03547 357 250 70 37
174 Finally, illumination without incineration. 1.4031 0.03675 325 226 67 32
175 No, honestly, you're scarier in daylight. 1.4029 0.03458 340 231 81 28
176 Enough with the giant stone that will fall from the sky and wipe us all out. Tell me something scary! 1.4018 0.03398 326 217 87 22
177 Nope. You're still not scary. 1.4012 0.03576 324 222 74 28
178 And then....BOO! Extinction! 1.4011 0.03344 349 235 88 26
179 And to this day humans are credited with inventing fire. 1.4006 0.03632 317 218 71 28
180 Nope still there. Let me get you some Dino-Floss. 1.4006 0.03724 322 226 63 33
181 I did the monster mash. It was a campground smash. 1.4006 0.03416 342 232 83 27
182 The child said "Mommy there is a monster in the closet" and the Mom said "No there isn't let me show you" She opens the door. Oh the look on her face was priceless. Thats why I do this work. 1.4000 0.03792 320 227 58 35
183 And then the little boy crept up very quietly and pushed him into the tar pit... 1.4000 0.03552 320 218 76 26
184 Cool it, Bill. Those batteries have to last for at least 66 million years. 1.4000 0.04383 230 161 46 23
185 Using a flashlight instead of your phone? That’s prehistoric. 1.3988 0.03704 321 225 64 32
186 Do I have any princess in my teeth? 1.3987 0.03827 316 225 56 35
187 Calm down. We can just lay back and watch meteors. 1.3968 0.03264 315 205 95 15
188 Scaredy cat! There's no such thing as meteors! 1.3968 0.03617 315 217 71 27
189 Yes, you mentioned that you got your teeth whitened. 1.3968 0.03727 315 221 63 31
190 You need a cell phone for a selfie, you idiot! 1.3968 0.03853 310 221 55 34
191 And it all happened 25 million years ago, on a night…just…like…tonight… 1.3961 0.03732 308 215 64 29
192 To be honest, under-lighting is really not flattering to your facial structure. 1.3961 0.03646 308 212 70 26
193 If I let you use the flashlight, can we go hide under the bed before it's Timmy's bedtime? 1.3941 0.03795 307 217 59 31
194 How about we reduce our carbon footprint and just go bump in the night. 1.3940 0.03285 302 196 93 13
195 And then he digs your bones from the ground and puts you back together for everyone to see! 1.3930 0.03516 341 238 72 31
196 Read my lips. There's no way we'll ever go extinct. 1.3926 0.03759 298 208 63 27
197 Do I still have Boy Scout in my teeth? 1.3913 0.03779 299 210 61 28
198 Come on, man, this story about climate change is a hoax. Tell us the one about the asteroid! 1.3912 0.03855 294 208 57 29
199 You do realize that you're speaking into a flashlight. 1.3902 0.03828 287 201 60 26
200 Do I have any s’more stuck in my teeth? 1.3902 0.03838 305 218 55 32
201 …and their entire economy will be fueled by our decomposing bones 1.3902 0.03724 305 214 63 28
202 Please, no more people stories! 1.3897 0.03861 290 205 57 28
203 It's just not scary since you had botox. 1.3893 0.03903 298 214 52 32
204 I hate online dating and no, you still don't look like your picture! 1.3891 0.03771 293 205 62 26
205 Don’t try to make a joke out of this. YOU forgot the marshmallows. 1.3887 0.03577 301 206 73 22
206 And then there was ice everywhere! For ages! 1.3875 0.03775 289 202 62 25
207 You really need to floss more often. 1.3868 0.03825 287 202 59 26
208 And then they glued his skeleton back together and charged humans money to see him 1.3864 0.03719 295 206 64 25
209 Any of that tent still stuck in my teeth? 1.3859 0.03661 298 207 67 24
210 Have you ever heard the story of the hairless biped? 1.3843 0.03713 281 194 66 21
211 Then the asteroid hit, and wiped out all the humans. 1.3835 0.04030 279 202 47 30
212 Ummm…I don’t know. Are you “Barney”? Dammit Carl, I give up. 1.3826 0.03897 298 216 50 32
213 Geez, do you have to tell the one about the asteroid again? 1.3822 0.04785 191 137 35 19
214 Stop it! There is no such thing as monsters! 1.3818 0.03905 275 195 55 25
215 But the asteroid was coming much closer to Earth than astronomers had projected! 1.3818 0.03837 275 193 59 23
216 Do I look extinct to you? 1.3810 0.03820 273 191 60 22
217 And they loved fossil fuels. 1.3810 0.03820 273 191 60 22
218 These campfire stories would be scarier if we weren't at the top of the food chain 1.3801 0.03739 292 206 61 25
219 My name is Larry, and my pronoun is 'it'. 1.3801 0.04081 271 197 45 29
220 And the giant rock in the sky just kept getting bigger and bigger... 1.3800 0.03875 300 218 50 32
221 And then they put your bones back together piece by piece to display for their little ones. 1.3798 0.03912 287 207 51 29
222 ...and when he turned around, he saw the meteor was right behind him! 1.3787 0.03597 301 210 68 23
223 This is my 'come hither' look. 1.3787 0.03756 272 189 63 20
224 It's a souvenir from the guy I had for lunch. 1.3783 0.03878 267 188 57 22
225 Dad, what's an asteroid? 1.3782 0.03867 275 195 56 24
226 But we're rechargeable, right?” 1.3773 0.04218 273 204 35 34
227 And then they'll display our bones in museums! 1.3772 0.03600 289 200 69 20
228 Now do a bunny. 1.3769 0.03829 268 188 59 21
229 I'm not sure. It's either spinach or someone green that you ate. 1.3769 0.03973 268 192 51 25
230 That's nothing. I saw a mammal yesterday! 1.3768 0.03643 284 197 67 20
231 And then, they used us for fuel 1.3764 0.03763 271 189 62 20
232 Do I have any people in my teeth? 1.3763 0.04054 279 205 43 31
233 I don't know what it is, either, but the guy I got it from was delicious. 1.3750 0.03755 264 183 63 18
234 And then he killed them in cold blood. Or warm blood? Frankly nobody’s sure. 1.3741 0.03587 294 205 68 21
235 You scare me when you talk like that. Small rodents-like creatures evolving to replace us, no way! 1.3741 0.03770 270 189 61 20
236 I've been carrying a torch for you for so long.” 1.3741 0.04315 270 205 29 36
237 Do I have any brave knight in my teeth? 1.3735 0.03940 257 182 54 21
238 And then all the dinosaurs were subjected to demeaning occupations by a human named Flintstone. 1.3735 0.04017 257 184 50 23
239 Yes, you look scary. Stop being so insecure. 1.3731 0.03869 260 183 57 20
240 I'd like to announce my 2024 presidential bid. 1.3726 0.04164 263 194 40 29
241 The asteroid got bigger and bigger and BIGGER… 1.3722 0.04024 266 193 47 26
242 And it turned out the call was coming from INSIDE THE CAVE! 1.3716 0.03933 261 186 53 22
243 And I ate them happily ever after. 1.3715 0.04021 253 181 50 22
244 And that’s what fossil fuels are! 1.3713 0.03889 272 195 53 24
245 And then they elected him AGAIN!!! 1.3712 0.04185 264 196 38 30
246 You're frightening me. You look like Majorie Taylor Greene! 1.3711 0.04283 256 191 35 30
247 Trust me- 65 million years from now, they’ll still be saying “Boo!” 1.3707 0.03915 259 184 54 21
248 CAREFUL: That's a knight light." 1.3702 0.03883 262 186 55 21
249 Oh, will you evolve, already? 1.3701 0.03889 254 179 56 19
250 So you remembered the flashlight but forgot the marshmallows? 1.3695 0.04221 249 183 40 26
251 ..and then, a giant meteorite hit earth and killed all the humans....ahhh.. 1.3692 0.03883 279 202 51 26
252 Remind me to floss...... 1.3690 0.03828 252 176 59 17
253 Anybody here from the Early Cretaceous Period? 1.3686 0.03916 255 181 54 20
254 And then Donald Trump was elected again. 1.3684 0.04283 247 183 37 27
255 Is there a camper stuck between my teeth? 1.3678 0.03656 261 180 66 15
256 ...and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee... 1.3673 0.04027 245 175 50 20
257 Stop it! Mom and Dad say Humans aren't real and can't mess up our planet through systemic pollution and climate change! 1.3664 0.03989 262 190 48 24
258 Great, now I'm too scared to eat anybody else 1.3658 0.03852 257 182 56 19
259 and then hundreds of little monsters called "cub scouts" rampaged through the forest... 1.3655 0.04019 249 179 49 21
260 And it wasn't an asteroid, just a Chinese spy balloon. 1.3651 0.04113 241 174 46 21
261 Please, not another asteroid story! 1.3651 0.03942 241 170 54 17
262 Don’t scare me like that, Frank - I almost coughed up a camper! 1.3651 0.03984 252 181 50 21
263 The whitening looks great but you ate the dentist”? 1.3646 0.04446 192 136 42 14
264 Please, enough with your asteroid stories. They scare me 1.3640 0.03951 228 159 55 14
265 See any signs of evolution? 1.3640 0.04094 239 172 47 20
266 And then, the humans elected Trump. 1.3640 0.04277 250 187 35 28
267 If you scare away the campers,we will not be able to eat them. 1.3640 0.03842 250 176 57 17
268 You think the vanishing hitchhiker is scary? Wait till I tell you what happens to us. 1.3636 0.04049 253 184 46 23
269 Nope. Not scarier. 1.3633 0.03763 245 170 61 14
270 Here's one Uncle Rex taught me. 1.3629 0.03819 248 174 58 16
271 ...he had a nose, skin, hair, and worst of all: opposable thumbs. 1.3629 0.04117 237 171 46 20
272 But asteroids aren’t real, are they? 1.3629 0.04073 237 170 48 19
273 And then the stores ran out of toilet paper 1.3625 0.04149 251 185 41 25
274 I got this off a guy who was hiding under my bed. 1.3622 0.04074 254 186 44 24
275 Stop trying to scare me. Last night's asteroid story was bad enough. 1.3621 0.04167 243 178 42 23
276 And then wars will be fought over your liquid bones! 1.3621 0.04001 243 174 50 19
277 You are never more than three feet away from a spider, or a comet. 1.3608 0.04173 255 190 38 27
278 It's just a story, there's no space rock that will kill us all! 1.3603 0.03994 247 178 49 20
279 Oooh, I'm a meteorite headed for Earth! 1.3590 0.04014 234 167 50 17
280 ...and she awoke the next morning with FEATHERS. 1.3590 0.04322 234 174 36 24
281 Just imagine when they find this with our fossils in a couple million years!! 1.3581 0.04120 229 165 46 18
282 And the meteor got closer, and closer and then... 1.3577 0.04084 246 180 44 22
283 It's not bad, but I still think it was more intimidating when we could breathe fire. 1.3574 0.03954 235 167 52 16
284 …and they call that place the American Museum of Natural History 1.3574 0.04045 235 169 48 18
285 ..and he had a hand for a claw. 1.3574 0.04110 263 197 38 28
286 ....and then I ate Little Jackie Paper. 1.3568 0.04191 227 165 43 19
287 How can we reflect on the past when there hasn't been one yet? 1.3568 0.03902 227 159 55 13
288 I don’t actually know the end of the scary story because I was too hungry to let the camper finish. 1.3562 0.04332 233 174 35 24
289 Then she said “ What big teeth you have Grandmother!” 1.3562 0.03976 233 166 51 16
290 And then a meteor flew down from the sky and wiped out our entire species! And millions of years later the newest and most evolved species would live to reenact all of our ugliest and worst moments for their own entertainment. 1.3560 0.03913 250 180 51 19
291 Implants or real? 1.3556 0.04215 225 164 42 19
292 And if the meteor wasn't enough, the "humans" will put our bones on display and claim they invented fire. 1.3556 0.04168 225 163 44 18
293 And then we went extinct! 1.3554 0.03872 242 172 54 16
294 Stop that! It makes you look like a human. 1.3550 0.03902 231 163 54 14
295 Look... Now I'm even scarier 1.3544 0.04061 237 172 46 19
296 Now that I‘ve invented fire I can get rid of this stupid flashlight. 1.3544 0.04275 237 177 36 24
297 Hey, stop playing with that thing! It's worth a lot since humans have become extinct. 1.3544 0.04275 237 177 36 24
298 I found this with my last meal. 1.3543 0.04192 223 162 43 18
299 And then this big rock started to fall out of the sky 1.3540 0.04152 226 164 44 18
300 So you figured out a portal to the future and brought back a light. I must be high. 1.3537 0.04114 229 166 45 18
301 Did I get some of him stuck in my teeth? 1.3516 0.04242 219 160 41 18
302 And in 200 million years your bones will be reassembled incorrectly and displayed in the mammal museums. 1.3516 0.04292 219 161 39 19
303 Gee, Pops, did he ever concede the election? 1.3514 0.04297 222 164 38 20
304 And the giant asteroid got closer and closer. . . 1.3511 0.04113 225 163 45 17
305 Now that I’ve invented fire, I’m going to run for Congress. 1.3511 0.04255 225 166 39 20
306 Not only do they taste good...they have cool gadgets. 1.3498 0.04038 223 160 48 15
307 It had hair growing out of its head... and was warm-blooded! 1.3488 0.04294 215 158 39 18
308 I'll show you scary. I forgot the marshmallows. 1.3484 0.04259 221 163 39 19
309 "And then he decided to run for President again." 1.3478 0.04228 230 171 38 21
310 Then a meteor comes and all of our grandchildren become birds. 1.3472 0.04123 216 156 45 15
311 But asteroids aren't real,right? 1.3472 0.04071 216 155 47 14
312 And then they built an entire civilization based on a non-renewable resource made from our bones 1.3472 0.04277 216 159 39 18
313 And then one day the new two-legged animals discover fossil fuels!! 1.3465 0.03971 228 164 49 15
314 And just then, a big burning ball of fire hurtled toward the earth. 1.3463 0.04257 231 173 36 22
315 Have you ever heard the one about the meteor from outer space? 1.3453 0.04226 223 165 39 19
316 I don't think that's how you take a selfie. 1.3448 0.04107 232 171 42 19
317 Film, two words 1.3445 0.04479 209 157 32 20
318 We all die, and then the little furry mammals take over! 1.3445 0.04159 209 151 44 14
319 That's great and all, Steve, but we can breathe fire. 1.3444 0.04682 180 133 32 15
320 The comet one's scarier. 1.3443 0.03952 212 150 51 11
321 The Dawn Of The Dad Joke 1.3442 0.04131 215 156 44 15
322 It was a dark and stormy Late Cretaceous Epoch... 1.3440 0.04092 218 158 45 15
323 Wow! When you hold the flashlight like that you look just like a monster. 1.3429 0.04357 210 156 36 18
324 And during dodge ball they laughed at Rex and called him tiny arms'. 1.3426 0.04219 216 159 40 17
325 That’s not on my Paleo diet 1.3423 0.04038 222 161 46 15
326 this is my museum pose 1.3420 0.04161 231 172 39 20
327 And then he said: "The call is coming from inside the cave!!!" 1.3415 0.04152 205 148 44 13
328 What’s scary about it to me is how much all your future orthodontic work is going to cost us 1.3411 0.04244 214 158 39 17
329 I still say breathing real fire is scarier. 1.3411 0.04396 214 161 33 20
330 And that’s when puberty hit me like an asteroid 1.3408 0.04122 223 164 42 17
331 And then? They were EXTINCT! Boo ha ha ha ha! 1.3405 0.04190 232 174 37 21
332 And then he realized that the little human boy was RIGHT UNDER THE BED! 1.3399 0.04292 203 149 39 15
333 And when he looked on top of the bed, there was a little kid under the sheets! 1.3398 0.04412 206 154 34 18
334 That makes the scales on the back of my back stand up… 1.3396 0.04270 212 157 38 17
335 …and if you listen carefully, you can still hear him to this day… singing “I love you…you love me…” 1.3396 0.04373 212 159 34 19
336 He froze as he entered the museum. It was his mom and dad, but only their skeletons. 1.3396 0.04217 212 156 40 16
337 How many times do I have to tell you "Yes, you're scary!" 1.3392 0.04019 227 166 45 16
338 Let's roast s'more campers. 1.3391 0.03947 233 170 47 16
339 One day a small two-legged creature will rule and ruin the earth 1.3391 0.04130 233 174 39 20
340 It was a dark and stormy night. An asteroid appeared in the sky. 1.3388 0.03942 245 181 45 19
341 You'd look just like Tucker Carlson if you had a bow tie! 1.3382 0.04551 207 158 28 21
342 Are you ever going to evolve? 1.3381 0.04452 210 159 31 20
343 And then they put us in gas tanks. 1.3381 0.04242 210 155 39 16
344 Ok, yes….you look like a monster. 1.3380 0.03928 213 152 50 11
345 These disgusting creatures don't even use eggs. They grow their brood inside. Inside their bodies! Mamal mia! 1.3380 0.04253 213 158 38 17
346 Let me tell you why I think global freezing is a myth. 1.3379 0.03910 219 157 50 12
347 Nice try, Eugene, but humans are a lot scarier. 1.3377 0.04062 231 171 42 18
348 OK, now can I breathe on the s'mores? 1.3367 0.04462 199 149 33 17
349 .....and then they all disappeared!!" 1.3365 0.03928 208 148 50 10
350 And all of the sudden, there was a loud BOOM! 1.3365 0.04268 208 154 38 16
351 ...And then they switched to renewables, but it was TOO LATE! 1.3364 0.04103 220 162 42 16
352 What big teeth you have, Gramma. 1.3362 0.03941 229 167 47 15
353 Oh Jim! Did you eat the last Boy Scout!??! 1.3350 0.04254 197 144 40 13
354 You we’re scarier when I couldn’t see you. 1.3350 0.04210 200 146 41 13
355 And when she got out of the car, hanging from the door handle… was a velociraptor claw! 1.3350 0.04183 206 151 41 14
356 And THAT'S how much college will cost in 46 million years! 1.3349 0.04029 209 151 46 12
357 That's weird Bob, it DOES make you look less scary. 1.3349 0.04167 215 159 40 16
358 Do you realize how hard it is to change batteries without thumbs? 1.3333 0.04219 195 142 41 12
359 Yeah, you heard right, the kid literally thought he could tame me. 1.3333 0.03747 228 163 54 11
360 Who said short arms are useless? 1.3333 0.03861 192 134 52 6
361 And then the huge asteroid came and killed all the scary, mean humans and we lived happily ever after. 1.3333 0.04170 222 166 38 18
362 Suddenly, a big, hairy hand reached under the bed. 1.3333 0.03975 213 154 47 12
363 …and to this day that adorable little girl and her killer puppy live in these very woods! 1.3333 0.04236 198 145 40 13
364 Marjorie Taylor-Greene? Wait! George Santos! 1.3333 0.04641 198 152 26 20
365 Your going to give me knightmares. 1.3333 0.04045 216 158 44 14
366 If you think this is scary, wait till I tell you what I saw coming at us through my telescope last night! 1.3318 0.04095 220 163 41 16
367 And millions of years from now, what's left of you will power a Toyota Camry for about 2.1 highway miles. 1.3318 0.04374 211 160 32 19
368 If he only knew how ridiculous he looks," she thought. "First dates suck. 1.3317 0.04204 208 154 39 15
369 Oh relax,the two-legged hairless ape is just a myth. 1.3316 0.04245 193 141 40 12
370 If anything, you look less scary. 1.3304 0.03940 224 164 46 14
371 And the meteor grew closer, and closer... 1.3303 0.04028 221 163 43 15
372 I look hot! right? 1.3303 0.03977 221 162 45 14
373 Some say humans still roam these woods. 1.3302 0.04037 212 155 44 13
374 Please Marvin, its hard enough to look at you in the dark. 1.3302 0.04356 212 161 32 19
375 The meteor headed closer and closer... 1.3300 0.04433 200 151 32 17
376 And then a giant meteor hit the earth and wiped out all the humans except for the few we devoured very soon thereafter. 1.3299 0.04289 194 143 38 13
377 Stop it dad, you know that Jimmy Fallon face really freaks me out! 1.3299 0.04351 194 144 36 14
378 You’ve got a face for radio. 1.3298 0.04399 191 142 35 14
379 The children laughed and sang and roasted marshmallows… then went to sleep, UNAFRAID! 1.3298 0.04116 188 135 44 9
380 There is no future in being cold blooded. 1.3298 0.04384 188 139 36 13
381 You really should have had braces. 1.3298 0.04318 188 138 38 12
382 ...and to this day, if you listen carefully on the wind, you can still hear the echoes of the creature screaming, 'Not imaginary?!' 1.3297 0.04298 185 135 39 11
383 Meh, still not scary. 1.3287 0.03983 216 158 45 13
384 Again,there is no cilantro in your teeth. 1.3284 0.04368 204 154 33 17
385 I saw the boy scouts we ate do this. 1.3284 0.04140 204 150 41 13
386 His human friends called him George, and he was no saint. 1.3281 0.04317 192 142 37 13
387 Don't you just know some Neanderthal is going to come along and take credit for discovering fire and light" 1.3280 0.04615 189 144 28 17
388 ….and after the meteor, the mammals took over. 1.3280 0.04428 189 141 34 14
389 I love the way it lights up my smile. 1.3280 0.04364 189 140 36 13
390 I give up. Are you a dinosaur or a dragon? 1.3280 0.04553 189 143 30 16
391 You know what's really scary, global climate change deniers." 1.3280 0.04346 186 137 37 12
392 Then the hideous monster with the long hair sprouting from its head stood up on its two legs and began to…. 1.3280 0.04478 186 139 33 14
393 It’s a souvenir from that Jurassic Park scientist I ate. 1.3280 0.04730 186 143 25 18
394 And then this hairless, scaleless creature said, “go ahead. Look under the bed” 1.3273 0.04236 220 167 34 19
395 We’ve got to go electric or we could cause the end of an era. 1.3269 0.04250 208 156 36 16
396 And that's supposed to be your scary face? 1.3269 0.04083 208 153 42 13
397 And then this giant fireball from the sky comes down and makes it cloudy and chilly and...poof...no more summer camp for you!" 1.3267 0.04282 202 151 36 15
398 Did that caveman get stuck in my teeth? 1.3266 0.04086 199 145 43 11
399 … then he said, “I thought you all were dead!”, dropped this, and ran away! 1.3262 0.04259 187 137 39 11
400 …and that’s how the humans became extinct. 1.3262 0.04392 187 139 35 13
401 Not the silly story about the asteroid. I want something believable 1.3262 0.04326 187 138 37 12
402 And that's supposed to scare me? I was in a tiny elevator with Rudy Giulani the other day. 1.3262 0.04647 187 143 27 17
403 Did the white strips work? 1.3262 0.04521 187 141 31 15
404 When you hold the flashlight like this you can make yourself look scary. 1.3261 0.04306 184 135 38 11
405 Hey Marty, how scary is this? 1.3259 0.04178 224 170 35 19
406 And they say that even today, St. George wanders these woods with his bloody sword, looking for the dragon that dared to abduct his beloved damsel. 1.3256 0.04452 215 167 26 22
407 Makes me look scary..right? 1.3251 0.04206 203 151 38 14
408 It's Johnny! 1.3250 0.04068 200 146 43 11
409 And then he said he was running for office again. 1.3247 0.04402 194 146 33 15
410 He was scaring little kids like this, I ate him and took it. 1.3246 0.04388 191 143 34 14
411 Supposedly, there is a energized bunny in here 1.3246 0.03924 191 136 48 7
412 Then grandpa Godzilla walked straight into the power lines and his face looked like this 1.3246 0.04195 191 140 40 11
413 And then we were gone, completely extinct. Museums displayed some of our bones and the scrawny little apes made tiny plastic toys of us for their children to play with. 1.3245 0.04240 188 138 39 11
414 Probably not a good time to bring this up, but I have been seeing another Godzilla. 1.3245 0.04625 188 144 27 17
415 Slowly, slowly, the asteroid crept toward the earth. 1.3243 0.04552 185 140 30 15
416 Here's a little trick I picked up from Troop 155. 1.3242 0.03989 219 162 43 14
417 ...and then the knight, riding a speeding horse, came charging down the hill waving a sharp sword, aimed right for the poor baby dragon's neck. 1.3237 0.04089 207 153 41 13
418 And off in the distance they saw a large fiery ball growing larger and larger until… 1.3235 0.04188 204 152 38 14
419 I don’t get it. You can light a fire, you’re entertaining, got your own cave but you’ve never been married? 1.3234 0.04112 201 148 41 12
420 But can your fire do this? 1.3228 0.04417 189 142 33 14
421 They were nice and sang and toasted little white things. They were called g-i-r-l s-c-o-u-t-s. 1.3226 0.04334 186 138 36 12
422 And they say, the Headless Knight is still hunting dragons to this very day. 1.3224 0.04172 183 133 41 9
423 And then one night, little Jackie Paper came no more! 1.3218 0.04441 202 155 29 18
424 Not the one about the asteroid again... 1.3218 0.04272 202 152 35 15
425 ...and the meteor was coming from inside the house! 1.3216 0.04433 199 152 30 17
426 6 months of Invisalign right here 1.3211 0.04460 190 144 31 15
427 Can you believe Spielberg said I was too ugly? 1.3209 0.04315 187 139 36 12
428 Can you still see the bags under my eyes? 1.3209 0.04179 187 137 40 10
429 Truth or scare? 1.3207 0.04081 184 133 43 8
430 Stop it! You look like a human. 1.3204 0.04616 181 138 28 15
431 No dad, do a scary face! 1.3204 0.04096 206 153 40 13
432 And then the voice said, ‘I want my marshmallows back’” 1.3202 0.04603 178 135 29 14
433 This is so cool. The only thing that could mess this up is an asteroid, and that’s never going to happen. 1.3194 0.04117 191 140 41 10
434 This is what he was doing just before I ate him! 1.3192 0.04056 213 159 40 14
435 Here's how it goes: you hide, and wait for the adult to do this. Then all the children scream. THEN you jump out and eat them. 1.3191 0.04614 188 145 26 17
436 and they made him into.... DINO NUGGETS! 1.3191 0.04295 188 140 36 12
437 It creeps me out when you put on your politician smile. 1.3189 0.04605 185 142 27 16
438 And having these straightened cost me ten thousand bucks. 1.3189 0.04274 185 137 37 11
439 And then... he becomes president! 1.3187 0.04594 182 139 28 15
440 Yeah, they were delicious and they have great toys! 1.3184 0.04441 179 134 33 12
441 ...and thus we are the remaining survivors, doomed to appear in B-rated movies and theme parks. 1.3184 0.04394 201 154 30 17
442 You have a small piece of Neanderthal stuck between your teeth. 1.3182 0.04143 198 147 39 12
443 I think I have someone stuck in my teeth. 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
444 Ok, you have convinced me... With that smile and those ideas, you COULD make it in American Politics." 1.3182 0.04705 176 135 26 15
445 It was a light and clear day… 1.3179 0.04371 195 148 32 15
446 Is it still in my teeth? 1.3179 0.04620 173 131 29 13
447 and all the little T-Rexes died, and they turned into gasoline 1.3177 0.04165 192 142 39 11
448 ...and they were worried about bears... 1.3169 0.04506 183 139 30 14
449 I can pretend to be scared, or, you could just stop doing that. 1.3169 0.04370 183 137 34 12
450 It’s scary ‘cause it’s true ! 1.3167 0.04490 180 136 31 13
451 I see extinct people. 1.3163 0.04352 196 149 32 15
452 ...and then he said, "Yes the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time we created a lot of value for shareholders.". 1.3158 0.04799 171 132 24 15
453 Further evidence that we are doomed as a species. 1.3152 0.04485 184 140 30 14
454 Would you like to taste some of my Tea,Rex? 1.3152 0.04550 184 141 28 15
455 And then.. they evolved! 1.3152 0.04485 184 140 30 14
456 And then, I crushed Tokyo! 1.3152 0.04140 184 135 40 9
457 Brushing AND flossing, Hank! 1.3152 0.04281 184 137 36 11
458 And in the future they will use our decomposing bodies to power their machines, and heat heat their homes! 1.3152 0.04485 184 140 30 14
459 Do I have someone in my teeth? 1.3149 0.04257 181 134 37 10
460 Do I have s’mores in my teeth? 1.3149 0.04537 181 138 29 14
461 …and then an asteroid hits and brings on an Ice Age. End of scary stories and time for bed. 1.3136 0.04687 169 129 27 13
462 Then BOOM we all died! 1.3136 0.04835 169 131 23 15
463 ….and he’s purple…and his name is Barney 1.3136 0.04687 169 129 27 13
464 And then juvenile mammals will come to look at your bones…Forever! 1.3135 0.04397 185 140 32 13
465 But it wasn't a new moon, it was an asteroid! 1.3132 0.04378 182 137 33 12
466 I'll be here all millennium. 1.3128 0.04428 179 135 32 12
467 Wow! These batteries have lasted like forever. 1.3128 0.04538 195 152 25 18
468 Then he realized - the call was coming from inside his stomach! 1.3125 0.04590 192 150 24 18
469 All because of one stupid meteor? 1.3122 0.04092 205 154 38 13
470 Wow! Fire and a flashlight! This is going to drive the palaeontologists crazy! 1.3119 0.04476 202 158 25 19
471 So did you eat him before or after you took the flashlight? 1.3118 0.04434 170 127 33 10
472 The whitener changes everything. 1.3118 0.04663 170 130 27 13
473 Honestly? Scarier without. 1.3115 0.04073 183 134 41 8
474 I liked the one about the asteroid better. 1.3115 0.04288 183 137 35 11
475 And then...they all lost their scales and became...birds. 1.3111 0.04264 180 134 36 10
476 But the treasure room was empty, for the horde of coins was all crypto currency, and never real to begin with! 1.3111 0.04407 180 136 32 12
477 And the huge asteroid came hurtling down and killed everybody! 1.3111 0.04264 180 134 36 10
478 Attached to every light is a delicious grain fed human. 1.3111 0.04875 180 143 18 19
479 It's called a hot flash. 1.3111 0.04407 180 136 32 12
480 And she said: "Grandma, what big teeth you have!" 1.3107 0.04458 177 134 31 12
481 But the 'weather balloon' was..an...ASTEROID! 1.3107 0.04385 177 133 33 11
482 On a dark and stormy night, an asteroid the size of a titanosaurus turd hurling toward its fateful destiny with Earth… 1.3103 0.04655 174 134 26 14
483 I miss the old days when we just breathed fire. 1.3103 0.04206 174 128 38 8
484 And then Donald Trump was re-elected! 1.3103 0.04584 174 133 28 13
485 Then one night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more.... 1.3102 0.04486 187 144 28 15
486 Don't do that. You look like a member of congress. 1.3102 0.04613 187 146 24 17
487 ...A ...and then he said. “We’re the lucky ones. Asteroids never hit the same planet twice.” 1.3102 0.04222 187 140 36 11
488 and it had really long arms 1.3099 0.04857 171 134 21 16
489 Frankly not any scarier 1.3098 0.04268 184 138 35 11
490 Read my lips! Next winter in Florida! 1.3098 0.04198 184 137 37 10
491 So, have you heard all this global warming nonsense? I figure it's about as likely as getting hit by a meteor. 1.3095 0.04301 168 124 36 8
492 Your choice—scary stories or sing-along? 1.3091 0.04435 165 123 33 9
493 Woooooooh! I'm veeeeegaaaaan. 1.3091 0.06023 110 86 14 10
494 Do I look scary now? 1.3090 0.04364 178 134 33 11
495 You know your scary face looks a lot like your regular face. 1.3088 0.04156 204 155 35 14
496 And then... a SCARY ROCK FELL FROM THE SKY! 1.3086 0.04263 175 130 36 9
497 …and the comet came closer, and closer, and CLOSER!!! 1.3085 0.04591 188 147 24 17
498 Stop it with the scary stories Carl… we all know humans aren’t real. 1.3085 0.04466 188 145 28 15
499 And…. then the fleshy humans took over and destroyed themselves AND the planet! 1.3085 0.04466 188 145 28 15
500 And boom! A meteor wiped us out. 1.3081 0.04389 172 129 33 10
501 And now for my rendition of 'John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.'" 1.3081 0.04182 198 150 35 13
502 Lose the grin. 1.3077 0.04112 169 123 40 6
503 If you're so smart, which one of these three things will extinguish first ? 1.3073 0.04074 192 143 39 10
504 This is a nice fire those campers made. I wonder what scared them away? 1.3071 0.05535 127 99 17 11
505 ... and everybody became oil and dildos and breast implants.... 1.3067 0.04632 163 124 28 11
506 And then there was...another balloon! 1.3067 0.04632 163 124 28 11
507 And they drilled the rods through Timmy’s skull and bolted them to his thorax for docents to point at. 1.3065 0.04514 199 157 23 19
508 ...and then, this big meteor fell from the sky... 1.3062 0.04691 160 122 27 11
509 Tell me the asteroid strory again. 1.3062 0.04691 160 122 27 11
510 Imagine a world where we’re extinct… 1.3060 0.04344 183 139 32 12
511 You jump up, turn it on and they all run away 1.3060 0.04059 183 135 40 8
512 Uncle G, tell me the one about your trip to Japan again? 1.3059 0.04723 170 132 24 14
513 ...and then there was this great light in the sky, coming closer...and closer... 1.3054 0.04551 167 127 29 11
514 It was a dark and stormy night. The wedding bells had rung. The small hotel was cozy. And then I took off my makeup. 1.3054 0.04471 167 126 31 10
515 That is scary! When was the last time you saw a dentist? 1.3049 0.04608 164 125 28 11
516 And then the humans went extinct and there was nothing to eat! 1.3046 0.04422 174 132 31 11
517 Scary! For a second you looked like a human 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
518 …and an idiot will become the leader of the free world. 1.3043 0.04392 184 141 30 13
519 Everything else was edible. 1.3043 0.04113 184 137 38 9
520 Jeez Bob. Real Scary. It’s never enough with you is it? 1.3038 0.04279 158 116 36 6
521 Then one day it happened, Jackie Paper came no more! 1.3036 0.04758 168 131 23 14
522 ...she fumbled for the flashlight as the door creaked open. It was him. The asteroid. 1.3034 0.04202 178 133 36 9
523 I just don't buy it, the likelihood of a asteroid hitting the planet is infinitesimal, it just doesn't scare me. 1.3034 0.04202 178 133 36 9
524 And then the humans discovered petroleum, and it was us! 1.3034 0.04350 178 135 32 11
525 It was a dark and scaly night… 1.3034 0.04350 178 135 32 11
526 Biiiirds, hee hee hee", cackled the wicked witch. "I'll evolve all of you into little birds. 1.3032 0.04517 188 147 25 16
527 And they lived happily ever after. In my belly. 1.3032 0.04257 188 143 33 12
528 And the meteor got closer... and closer... 1.3030 0.04663 165 127 26 12
529 Look what I found inside the food we just ate....pretty neat huh! 1.3030 0.04663 165 127 26 12
530 He was delicious and I like his toy! 1.3029 0.04325 175 132 33 10
531 Every scary story ends with you getting the flashlight. 1.3025 0.04298 162 120 35 7
532 [No Caption. Blank. This is funny, and any words added will just take away from the humor of it.} 1.3023 0.04747 172 135 22 15
533 Tell me again where did you find batteries for your flashlight? 1.3023 0.04527 172 132 28 12
534 It looks scarier when they do it 1.3021 0.04061 192 144 38 10
535 Kumbaya 1.3019 0.04439 159 119 32 8
536 and then they heard a ghostly voice say,'one more short armed joke and one of you is gonna get jur-ass kicked'! 1.3018 0.04180 169 125 37 7
537 So I tapped that cartographer on the shoulder, and just before I ate him I said, 'No, HERE be dragons!'" 1.3018 0.04880 169 134 19 16
538 Enough with the scary stories about these mythical "humans" 1.3017 0.04329 179 136 32 11
539 Let me guess—Jack Nicholson in The Shining? 1.3013 0.04933 156 122 21 13
540 No, that's true," I said, "but does this look to you like the face of a leaf eater? 1.3011 0.04524 176 136 27 13
541 ...and then the stranger said: "WE TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!" 1.3011 0.04303 176 133 33 10
542 Boo! I'm Extinct!! 1.3011 0.04215 186 141 34 11
543 And now for some light relief. 1.3006 0.04363 163 122 33 8
544 Then, out of spite, DeSantis chooses PENCE as his running mate! 1.3006 0.04578 173 134 26 13
545 So when they tell you that climate change isn't real ... 1.3006 0.04352 173 131 32 10
546 That guy who invented fire really tasted good 1.3005 0.03907 193 143 42 8
547 Please Dad, I want to go back to the Equator. 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
548 Seriously, is there a raptor between my teeth? 1.3000 0.04235 180 136 34 10
549 See that just makes you look a lot older than you actually are. 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
550 Is there anybody stuck in my teeth? 1.2995 0.04298 197 153 29 15
551 65 million years ago, on a night just like tonight... 1.2994 0.04455 167 127 30 10
552 Have you heard the one about the cold-blooded campers? 1.2994 0.04088 157 114 39 4
553 And then he heard a knock at the cave door. 1.2994 0.04377 157 117 33 7
554 Eating a boy scout troop and campfire stories is not my idea of dinner and a show.! 1.2994 0.04649 157 120 27 10
555 ...and then this big rock fell out of the sky and we all died! 1.2989 0.04699 174 137 22 15
556 Suddenly, an asteroid appeared... 1.2988 0.04592 164 126 27 11
557 I don't know. I ate the guy! 1.2987 0.04431 154 115 32 7
558 A Metoer? Ice Age? How do you come up with this stuff? 1.2987 0.05057 154 122 18 14
559 And the asteroid is right behind you now! 1.2986 0.04631 144 108 29 7
560 It was a dark and gloomy night, and I am wondering where the hell I got this flashlight." 1.2983 0.04287 181 138 32 11
561 And then the hideous golden haired, blue eyed, rosy cheeked little human peeked up from under the bed. 1.2982 0.04459 171 131 29 11
562 No, I'm not freaked out by your story. I'm freaked out about how you managed to get hold of a flashlight! 1.2982 0.04302 171 129 33 9
563 I hope you’re not going to tell me the one about the dragon with the hook for a hand again. 1.2982 0.04221 171 128 35 8
564 Now I’m thinking you should have just swallowed it along with the rest of him! 1.2981 0.04479 161 122 30 9
565 Wait, that's how you scared them? 1.2979 0.04176 188 143 34 11
566 Impressive, but can we barbecue a brontosaurus with it? 1.2975 0.03863 158 113 43 2
567 Which way is scarier, light on or off? 1.2975 0.04623 158 121 27 10
568 … and finally, after all the fire and brimstone and destruction has passed… a lowly MAMMAL will rise up to rule the earth ! 1.2975 0.04710 158 122 25 11
569 It’s called Herbalife, and a spot just opened up on my team! 1.2975 0.04623 158 121 27 10
570 Then one night a star moved across the sky. It got bigger and bigger, closer and closer.... 1.2974 0.04073 195 148 36 11
571 This story will make you pee your pants. Go put some on. 1.2971 0.03993 175 129 40 6
572 And then the asteroid got closer .... 1.2971 0.04309 175 133 32 10
573 And then she announced it was actually a plant-based meat substitute! 1.2971 0.04385 175 134 30 11
574 “You can’t scare me anymore. I’m old enough to know there’s no scary humans living under my bed!” 1.2968 0.04859 155 121 22 12
575 The sky went dark and in the sky a huge meteor streaked across the sky…and BAM! 1.2967 0.04407 182 141 28 13
576 This is not the honeymoon I expected ! 1.2967 0.04267 182 139 32 11
577 ...and after our bones are harvested by furless creatures, they will be sold for millions of dollars and put on display... 1.2965 0.04280 172 130 33 9
578 —and then they raised the Earth’s temperature by three degrees! 1.2961 0.04461 152 114 31 7
579 Where’d you get the batteries ? 1.2959 0.04489 169 130 28 11
580 At our age it is a luxury that we are able to sit around a fire as compared to breathing fire in our 20's. 1.2956 0.04932 159 126 19 14
581 Oh, honey! There are whitening strips for that problem now. 1.2955 0.04055 176 131 38 7
582 Look, I’m a human! 1.2952 0.04543 166 128 27 11
583 Scary? imagine millennia from now we'll be be contributing global warming. 1.2952 0.04380 166 126 31 9
584 And that’s when I realized, the boogyman was afraid of ME! 1.2949 0.04657 156 120 26 10
585 Whoa that was really scary, now tell the one you made up about the meteor 1.2945 0.04517 163 125 28 10
586 It was dark, I was hungry and they wanted a scary ending. 1.2941 0.05069 153 122 17 14
587 What the fuck are you doing? 1.2941 0.04984 153 121 19 13
588 That’s still not getting you on the Game of Thrones sequel. 1.2941 0.04532 153 116 29 8
589 Prophecy warns that a giant asteroid will fly towards the Earth. Ending life and triggering and UNHOLY APOCALYPSE! ! They'll call it: Mankind 1.2937 0.04573 160 123 27 10
590 One gray night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more And Puff, that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar . . . 1.2934 0.04599 167 130 25 12
591 My karaoke turn- """If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere!!...."" 1.2934 0.04357 167 127 31 9
592 It was the ASTEROID!!! 1.2930 0.04167 157 116 36 5
593 What kind of sicko would go look at our skeletons in a museum? 1.2927 0.04323 164 124 32 8
594 Can you tell I've had them whitened? 1.2926 0.04363 188 147 27 14
595 In the year -66,000,000 BCE, or so, a giant asteroid will crash into the sea just off of Mexico. All of our family will be killed. Then humans will evolve and destroy the entire earth! 1.2926 0.04491 188 149 23 16
596 And that’s how the final season of Game of Thrones ended. 1.2926 0.04230 188 145 31 12
597 And then, hurtling through the sky came...creationism! 1.2925 0.04942 147 115 21 11
598 Yeah, yeah that's real spooky, but where the hell did you find the light thingy? 1.2925 0.04651 147 112 27 8
599 We can't wait for global warming to save us from extinction 1.2925 0.04651 147 112 27 8
600 Asteroids aren't actually real are they? 1.2924 0.04520 171 133 26 12
601 You nearly scared me to extinction. 1.2922 0.04411 154 116 31 7
602 ...and then they all became fossils. 1.2919 0.04632 161 125 25 11
603 The Ice Age is about to hit and you want to sing? 1.2919 0.03905 161 117 41 3
604 And a big rock will fall into the sea, and the sky will grow dark, and we will all die. 1.2919 0.04374 161 122 31 8
605 There were screams, there was blood, there was gnashing of teeth and, after a loud belch, Papa proclaimed "good knight" 1.2919 0.04715 161 126 23 12
606 Just tweeze the little pesky ones under my chin. 1.2917 0.04496 168 130 27 11
607 Frank cut it out. We already ate them, do we have to play with their stuff too? 1.2917 0.04728 168 133 21 14
608 -In time I am convinced that it will warm up- 1.2914 0.03941 151 109 40 2
609 Go ahead! Tell me this doesn't make me look like Trump! 1.2914 0.04845 151 118 22 11
610 Worse, a rock. 1.2914 0.04466 151 114 30 7
611 Does THIS make you see me in a whole new light? 1.2914 0.04753 151 117 24 10
612 So... you're saying that the flashlight makes us scary? 1.2911 0.04517 158 121 28 9
613 Tell me a human story. 1.2909 0.04213 165 124 34 7
614 All right, Mr. Spielberg, I'm ready for my close-up. 1.2908 0.05185 141 112 17 12
615 And since Spielberg,we’ve been blamed for everything. 1.2905 0.04623 148 113 27 8
616 And they had watches made of apples! 1.2905 0.04913 148 116 21 11
617 Wait. What’s a comet? 1.2903 0.04574 155 119 27 9
618 Did you ask for extra batteries BEFORE you ate him? 1.2903 0.04665 155 120 25 10
619 Are we really ever ready for evolution? 1.2901 0.04523 162 125 27 10
620 They say an asteroid haunts these woods. 1.2901 0.04261 162 122 33 7
621 And then they put your skeleton on display. 1.2899 0.04472 169 131 27 11
622 Put that down, you look beastly. 1.2897 0.04685 145 111 26 8
623 And then...,and then, fire came from the sky, and everyone wished they'd have partaken of the cannabis plant instead of worrying about healthcare. 1.2893 0.04666 159 124 24 11
624 I'm in love with Jeff Goldblum. 1.2893 0.04218 159 119 34 6
625 You've got some camper in your teeth. 1.2892 0.04278 166 126 32 8
626 Now THAT's cold-blooded! 1.2892 0.04191 166 125 34 7
627 And then she said, "we've banned books about dragons." 1.2889 0.04131 180 137 34 9
628 And then these creatures collect our bones and display them for all to see 1.2885 0.04456 156 119 29 8
629 Enough with the scary games--lets open the marshmallows! 1.2885 0.04548 156 120 27 9
630 Am I too good looking to be scary? 1.2885 0.04727 156 122 23 11
631 And then, as if that’s not bad enough, those pesky little mammals took over the whole darn planet! 1.2885 0.04638 156 121 25 10
632 I haven't seen one of these since the dark ages. 1.2883 0.04056 163 121 37 5
633 I saw the people I ate doing this! 1.2882 0.04290 170 130 31 9
634 Tell me the one about the asteroid again. 1.2880 0.03995 184 139 37 8
635 It makes me look scarier, don’t you think? 1.2877 0.04856 146 114 22 10
636 And they were never seen again. Well, for 65 million years anyway. 1.2876 0.04789 153 120 22 11
637 And then the asteroid grew larger in the moonlit sky.., 1.2866 0.04523 157 121 27 9
638 Hate to say it, Jeff, but it makes you look less scary. 1.2866 0.04719 164 130 21 13
639 Do you realize that gimmick is as old as we are!!! 1.2865 0.04019 171 128 37 6
640 And then the ice slowly covered the entire planet! 1.2857 0.04096 147 108 36 3
641 And then he falls down the Empire State Building. 1.2857 0.04091 154 114 36 4
642 and then...the big corporations said climate change isn't real because the whole system was making them rich 1.2857 0.04399 168 130 28 10
643 Oh yea, that will definitively keep the bears away! 1.2857 0.04528 147 112 28 7
644 And then slowly,ever so slowly,the little human crawled down from above the bed,inching closer and closer. 1.2857 0.04558 168 132 24 12
645 Stop it. Everyone knows there’s no such thing as asteroids. 1.2848 0.04533 165 129 25 11
646 Don’t exhale… that’s my father’s good flashlight. 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
647 Save the battery,Manny! It’s not like you will get to eat another time traveller and take his flashlight. 1.2847 0.04993 144 114 19 11
648 George, you ARE the thing that goes bump in the night. 1.2847 0.04894 144 113 21 10
649 Pretty, scary, huh? You try it. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
650 And there was nothing but MAMMALS everywhere she looked! 1.2840 0.04376 169 131 28 10
651 Why are these ALWAYS about St. George? 1.2840 0.04672 162 128 22 12
652 How's this for a ghost story, we all die, something called humans come about & create energy from our carcassed remains. 1.2839 0.04366 155 118 30 7
653 Ice age, dude—see my teeth chattering? 1.2838 0.04398 148 112 30 6
654 You know Rex, I think that's overkill. The campers found us plenty scary last night without it. 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
655 And then she killed them all. It was the damsel ALL ALONG! 1.2837 0.04861 141 110 22 9
656 And when the monster finally came out from under the bed, the little kid had grown up...and left home. 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
657 Does this light make me look more ferocious? 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
658 His name was George...Saint George." 1.2833 0.04115 180 138 33 9
659 Do I look like a monster? 1.2832 0.04381 173 135 27 11
660 He's purple and he sings children's songs 1.2830 0.04198 159 120 33 6
661 So, Saint George walks into a bar... 1.2828 0.04962 145 115 19 11
662 And then… there was a human in his closet! 1.2825 0.04310 177 138 28 11
663 But then Dianne Feinstein said, "I've decided not to retire after all!" 1.2822 0.04728 163 130 20 13
664 And then they burned our liquified bodies in their SUVs... 1.2821 0.04795 156 124 20 12
665 I don't get it. 1.2819 0.04769 149 117 22 10
666 Don't you just love being in the scouts? 1.2819 0.04673 149 116 24 9
667 Stop it. It makes you look monstrous. 1.2819 0.04475 149 114 28 7
668 See!? It makes me look scary. 1.2819 0.04575 149 115 26 8
669 I told you the humans would screw it up and we'd be back! And look what they left us! 1.2819 0.04373 149 113 30 6
670 Once upon a time, sixty-five million years ago... 1.2817 0.04831 142 111 22 9
671 And then the big cold came and …. Kaboom!!! we were gone ! 1.2816 0.04359 174 136 27 11
672 It was a dark and stormy night, and some very scary humans were under my bed... 1.2812 0.04204 192 151 28 13
673 I'm still wondering how you started this fire. 1.2810 0.04770 153 121 21 11
674 An asteroid lands and wipes us all out, then these monsters make fuel from our bones and then joke about becoming a dinosaur! 1.2809 0.04434 178 141 24 13
675 No need for cosmetic surgery, you already look hot. 1.2808 0.05026 146 117 17 12
676 Cut it out Firebreath. You'll make me cough up the knight. 1.2806 0.05005 139 110 19 10
677 This was the only part of him I couldn't digest. 1.2803 0.04025 157 117 36 4
678 And they decided to make a sixth ‘Jurassic Park!’ 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
679 I'm actually just trying to hand you the flashlight. 1.2800 0.04646 150 117 24 9
680 And then he said, I am the Ghost of Exxon Yet-To-Come. 1.2800 0.04549 150 116 26 8
681 Then he screamed and dropped this nifty gadget. 1.2800 0.04926 150 120 18 12
682 And then the meteorite streaked across the sky… 1.2797 0.05002 143 114 18 11
683 And then ... everything started to freeze over! 1.2794 0.04631 136 104 26 6
684 That's right! Two thumbs! 1.2794 0.04972 136 107 20 9
685 No, you don't look any scarier--for the millionth time. 1.2793 0.04118 179 138 32 9
686 What else did you find in the time capsule? 1.2792 0.04466 154 119 27 8
687 And the only marshmallows they could get were the little kind… 1.2792 0.04272 154 117 31 6
688 Turn that light off. I thought I saw something streak through the sky. 1.2788 0.04597 165 131 22 12
689 Kumbaya? I don’t think I know that one. 1.2786 0.04541 140 107 27 6
690 And that's why humans are afraid of the dark. 1.2785 0.04387 158 122 28 8
691 And the brave knight and the princess lived happily ever after! 1.2785 0.04199 158 120 32 6
692 And then- get this- they said the Earth was flat! 1.2781 0.04522 151 117 26 8
693 It was a dark and stormy night … 201.3 to 145 million years ago right here at this exact campsite . . . 1.2778 0.04312 162 125 29 8
694 . . . and that asteroid is hurtling through space toward us at this very moment. 1.2778 0.04131 162 123 33 6
695 I found it on the set of Jurassic Park. 1.2775 0.04208 173 134 30 9
696 Can you tell which ones are implants? 1.2774 0.04626 155 122 23 10
697 You have to go to my dentist. 1.2774 0.04441 155 120 27 8
698 Not scary enough? Ok fine: "Then a meteor crashed into the Earth and we all died." Satisfied? 1.2774 0.04345 155 119 29 7
699 And he was petrified! 1.2774 0.04534 155 121 25 9
700 And then a big rock came out of the sky and ... 1.2774 0.04345 155 119 29 7
701 Honestly, I cannot notice an overbite 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
702 I am such a "look at me" person... 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
703 How do you like my new teeth? 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
704 And then, the Governor of Florida outlawed teaching the theory of evolution from schools! 1.2770 0.04680 148 116 23 9
705 And when the dragons drove home, they found a bloody Starbucks cup hanging from the passenger’s side door handle. 1.2770 0.04580 148 115 25 8
706 ...And they were all destroyed by a giant asteroid. 1.2767 0.04271 159 122 30 7
707 DYNO-Lite! 1.2766 0.04942 141 112 19 10
708 Now you can really see how much I need braces. 1.2766 0.04838 141 111 21 9
709 ...and the fat, bald, human yells: "I'M HERE TO AUDIT YOUR TAX RETURNS!!!... 1.2763 0.04778 152 121 20 11
710 You're creeping me out, Rex. 1.2763 0.04592 152 119 24 9
711 And scariest of all — he had normal-length arms! 1.2761 0.04784 134 104 23 7
712 Tell me a spooky human story. 1.2761 0.04665 134 103 25 6
713 Then there was a giant drop in the stock market, leading to the extinction of the human race! 1.2761 0.04665 134 103 25 6
714 Honey, when is the last time you saw the dentist? 1.2761 0.04900 134 105 21 8
715 Just stop Lizzy, you're making me a nervous Rex. 1.2761 0.04109 163 124 33 6
716 Suddenly the HUGE ROCK ... HITS the Earth! 1.2761 0.04289 163 126 29 8
717 And they dug him up! 1.2756 0.04599 156 123 23 10
718 Do Dracula again. 1.2754 0.04799 138 108 22 8
719 Not amused, tell me you didn't forgot the marshmallows. 1.2754 0.04799 138 108 22 8
720 But then he discovered that none of the humans he ate were actually gluten-free. 1.2754 0.04908 138 109 20 9
721 Have you heard why they call it Camp Beowulf? 1.2752 0.04453 149 115 27 7
722 And then this comet struck the Yucatán just after we paid a non-refundable deposit at our resort in Cancun. 1.2752 0.04553 149 116 25 8
723 Use this to shine the light in their eyes. They will just stand there looking at the light and then you’ve got them! 1.2752 0.04349 149 114 29 6
724 Harry loved his birthday present - it really made his little face light up! 1.2752 0.04652 149 117 23 9
725 A scary campfire story? OK, it was a dark night just like this one when this asteroid... 1.2752 0.04136 149 112 33 4
726 Mr. Spielberg doesn't appreciate your horsing around on the set. 1.2752 0.04748 149 118 21 10
727 Stop goofing around. How many more beers are left in the cooler? 1.2750 0.04517 160 126 24 10
728 you're a monster. You're scarier in the dark. 1.2746 0.04808 142 112 21 9
729 Once upon a time, creatures called "humans" roamed the earth... 1.2746 0.04486 142 109 27 6
730 ...but none of them believed the meteor would come! 1.2745 0.04273 153 117 30 6
731 Yeah it’s scary, but it shows your double chin. 1.2744 0.04604 164 131 21 12
732 Live from New York it’s Saturday night!!! 1.2744 0.04353 164 128 27 9
733 Forget asteroids. Gingivitis will probably kill us first. 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
734 I've been holding a torch for you for years Edna! 1.2741 0.04980 135 107 19 9
735 Wow! You look almost human! 1.2740 0.04294 146 111 30 5
736 And they were turned into petroleum jelly! 1.2740 0.04613 146 114 24 8
737 This next one might be a bit of a downer. 1.2739 0.04002 157 118 35 4
738 Tell me the one about the dust cloud that hides the sun. 1.2734 0.04544 139 107 26 6
739 Then these monkeys show up WALKING ON TWO LEGS!! 1.2733 0.04526 150 117 25 8
740 And the asteroid said: some day, when you least expect it, I'll be back! 1.2733 0.04526 150 117 25 8
741 Afterwards, there was nothing in the world to eat but broccoli! 1.2733 0.04405 161 126 26 9
742 And then it was revealed that there is actually a small, very uncomfortable Japanese man inside of me... 1.2727 0.04445 154 120 26 8
743 And some of them wore button flies! 1.2722 0.04458 158 124 25 9
744 Good Lord Dino. Get a teeth brightening session. 1.2721 0.04269 147 112 30 5
745 Where did you get the batteries from? 1.2721 0.04685 147 116 22 9
746 If you put this in your mouth they think you're breathing fire 1.2721 0.04585 147 115 24 8
747 And in the future we will all have evolved into chickens! 1.2721 0.04685 147 116 22 9
748 Listen to the chorus of the brontosaurus, la la la 1.2721 0.03970 136 100 35 1
749 And then he put pineapple right on the pizza! 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
750 I'm never trusting Tinder ever again... 1.2721 0.04947 136 108 19 9
751 I'm trying out for a Jurassic Park remake. 1.2716 0.04202 162 125 30 7
752 First they cut down the trees...then they build huge cities... 1.2714 0.04282 140 106 30 4
753 And then everyone shrunk and grew feathers. The end. 1.2710 0.04784 155 125 18 12
754 He could hear the human coming closer 1.2708 0.04645 144 113 23 8
755 ‘St. George did what?” 1.2708 0.04645 144 113 23 8
756 But there's no such thing as monsters" believe what you want but I got a snack and a neat flashligh 1.2708 0.04645 144 113 23 8
757 You’ve always been the pretty one. 1.2708 0.04540 144 112 25 7
758 Do I have stegosaurus in my teeth? 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
759 Then the voice on the other end said, "Do you know what an asteroid is?" And the babysitter realized that the call was from the room upstairs! 1.2703 0.04244 148 113 30 5
760 And then another moon appeared in the sky, and it got closer and closer. 1.2703 0.04558 148 116 24 8
761 And despite using his fiercest roar and hottest breath, no one was afraid. 1.2699 0.04179 163 126 30 7
762 And they drive an hour each way to work, just to afford to do it again the next day. 1.2695 0.04599 141 110 24 7
763 Aren’t you extinct? 1.2695 0.04599 141 110 24 7
764 And then one day it happened Jackie Paper came no more… 1.2692 0.04579 156 124 22 10
765 When you smile it’s not scary, ok. Seriously, stop. 1.2692 0.04979 130 103 19 8
766 I don't think it's cancer but if you are really that concerned maybe you should go see a dermatologist... 1.2690 0.04720 145 115 21 9
767 Sure, Jim, you’re very scary. 1.2690 0.04512 145 113 25 7
768 Honestly? Boy scouts taste just like chicken. 1.2687 0.04873 134 106 20 8
769 I learned it on Facebook: shining a flashlight into your mouth really does make your teeth whiter! 1.2687 0.04389 134 102 28 4
770 You look better in the dark. 1.2687 0.04873 134 106 20 8
771 ...And under his bed was a HUMAN CHILD 1.2687 0.04873 134 106 20 8
772 'Two minutes a day and I swear your teeth will get soooo white' 1.2687 0.04515 134 103 26 5
773 You're right! The new capped teeth look fabulous. 1.2685 0.04629 149 118 22 9
774 Just once I'd like to spend a romantic night by the fire without you acting like a child. 1.2685 0.04629 149 118 22 9
775 What's really scary is they think we're still extinct. 1.2681 0.04661 138 108 23 7
776 I call it “The Wheel” 1.2681 0.04773 138 109 21 8
777 Now I know why we don't do it with the lights on. 1.2680 0.04544 153 121 23 9
778 He tasted really good, and with this thing I can see to get another one. 1.2680 0.04544 153 121 23 9
779 Frank! You've got a piece of peasant stuck in your teeth. 1.2679 0.04261 168 132 27 9
780 Are there any bits of camper in my teeth? 1.2677 0.04802 127 99 22 6
781 Is there a vegan stuck in my teeth? 1.2677 0.05055 127 101 18 8
782 Someday, a million years from now, there will be a flashlight on your telephone. 1.2676 0.04679 142 112 22 8
783 And then our bones ended up in a place called a museum. 1.2671 0.04485 146 114 25 7
784 … and the asteroid came closer … closer … 1.2667 0.05278 135 111 12 12
785 And then he said, 'My, what big teeth you have!' 1.2667 0.04310 165 130 26 9
786 They screamed in horror: the man had no tail. 1.2667 0.04361 135 103 28 4
787 Batteries? 1.2662 0.04401 139 107 27 5
788 Once upon a time, humans roamed the earth... 1.2658 0.04437 158 125 24 9
789 …and then a gigantic asteroid crashed into planet Earth. 1.2657 0.04320 143 110 28 5
790 Hey, its only scary the first time. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
791 Stop me if you've heard this one. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
792 Watch how this flashlight makes my face look like a monster. 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
793 Don’t…That makes you look scarey 1.2654 0.04360 162 128 25 9
794 …and out of a dark cave this little pink creature, hairless and scaleless, carrying a pointy stick approaches… 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
795 …and in the morning there was a velociraptor’s talon hanging on the car door handle” 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
796 And then the human asked him if he had a moment to talk about his car’s extended warranty! 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
797 This is a crazy one! They say that one day an asteroid… 1.2649 0.04378 151 118 26 7
798 You promised you wouldn't do that asteroid stuff anymore! 1.2649 0.04275 151 117 28 6
799 Aren't I one handsome dude? 1.2645 0.04584 155 124 21 10
800 We found fire and flashlights and we are still camping?! 1.2645 0.04202 155 120 29 6
801 It was a bright and sunny day, and an entitled damsel was making a scene inside my cave when a vain jerk of a knight wandered by looking for trouble. 1.2643 0.04602 140 110 23 7
802 It was a dark and stormy Mesozoic night... 1.2643 0.04713 140 111 21 8
803 Pretend I'm a scary monster. 1.2643 0.04489 140 109 25 6
804 I'm practicing my carnivore look. 1.2640 0.04272 125 94 29 2
805 Sol!, I slaved over this fire and you had the batteries all along! 1.2640 0.04970 125 99 19 7
806 Wanna see something REALLY scary? 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
807 No, the guy who was carrying that is not stuck on your teeth. 1.2639 0.04725 144 115 20 9
808 And then the babysitter realizes the call is coming from inside the house." 1.2639 0.04515 144 113 24 7
809 And that’s how I met your father. 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
810 Do I look scary in this light? 1.2636 0.04862 129 102 20 7
811 You know what’s scary? Those gums! When was the last time you saw a dentist?! 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
812 Once upon a time, a tiny scale-less creature called 'man' roamed the earth. 1.2635 0.04431 148 116 25 7
813 ? Come on baby light my fire ? "That's a flashlight, you idiot, not a microphone!!" 1.2635 0.04732 148 119 19 10
814 Yeah, looks like some pieces of medieval knight stuck between your teeth. 1.2632 0.04640 133 104 23 6
815 I don't know, some magic light. It was in my crap. 1.2632 0.04994 133 107 17 9
816 Let’s go find s’more people to eat. 1.2632 0.04761 133 105 21 7
817 Then the chivalrous knight, and the beautiful princess lived happily ever after! 1.2632 0.04251 152 118 28 6
818 ‘Knock, knock, knock’— Nessie was sure it was the human again! Her indigestion increased and the remaining taste of the camper grew sour on her tongue… 1.2628 0.04889 137 110 18 9
819 Can you tell if I like butter? 1.2624 0.04346 141 109 27 5
820 Now that we have fire, electricity and opposed thumbs, we just need wheels and absolutely notking can stand in our way to ruling the earth. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
821 'Let me enlighten you' 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
822 This next one's about the human under my bed! 1.2617 0.04507 149 118 23 8
823 I don't know, Frank, it comes off a little desperate. 1.2617 0.04507 149 118 23 8
824 Oooh, then the Princess said ‘do you have a job? My father wants to meet you.’ 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
825 I’d grab that stupid torch off you if I had longer arms. 1.2615 0.04951 130 104 18 8
826 And then humans destroyed the earth with carbon emissions. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
827 Please don't ruin this moment with one of your torch songs. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
828 You’re scarier with it off! 1.2615 0.04443 130 100 26 4
829 You're so cold-blooded! 1.2614 0.04521 153 122 22 9
830 ...and when he finally awoke, millions of years later, no one could hear his screams from inside the tank of a 1997 Dodge Neon. 1.2614 0.04327 153 120 26 7
831 ...and then, I invented Facebook 1.2614 0.04425 153 121 24 8
832 And the operator said, "The call is coming is coming from inside your cave!" 1.2611 0.04253 157 123 27 7
833 That' awful. You look paleolithic! 1.2609 0.04363 161 128 24 9
834 Nobody ever believes how this ends. 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
835 And then a great big fireball flew down from the sky - and it came closer and closer and CLOSER and CLOSER AND CLOSER....... ...and it just missed us. 1.2606 0.04114 165 129 29 7
836 That's when my phone started ringing... from an UNKNOWN CALLER! 1.2606 0.04654 142 113 21 8
837 So when you said we were going to roast some friends, you meant comedically. 1.2602 0.05517 123 102 10 11
838 Do I have any human stuck in my teeth? 1.2601 0.04232 173 138 25 10
839 Susie suddenly realizes that the magic is gone... 1.2595 0.04917 131 105 18 8
840 And the meteor got closer and closer, until one day... 1.2595 0.04917 131 105 18 8
841 I chose Invisalign. 1.2593 0.04814 135 108 19 8
842 I think this makes me look a lot better than that ring light does 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
843 Grandma, what big teeth you have! 1.2590 0.04605 139 110 22 7
844 Maybe you should try comedy. 1.2590 0.04373 139 108 26 5
845 You should floss more 1.2590 0.04490 139 109 24 6
846 That is very cool, but what is your point? 1.2590 0.04605 139 110 22 7
847 Just look at all these reasons to become a dentist. 1.2590 0.04717 139 111 20 8
848 So, I says to my proctologist,you got anything for Ass-teroids? 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
849 And then the humans… CHECKED THEIR PHONES! 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
850 This light makes me look scary—right? 1.2583 0.04146 151 117 29 5
851 That’s amazing Herb, but I just wanted to know what time it was. 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
852 and out sprang...AN ARCHAEOLOGIST! 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
853 This gag is older than the Paleozoic, but it still gets laughs. 1.2578 0.04738 128 101 21 6
854 Once upon a time, toward a land not so far, far away, a gigantic fireball hurtled through the sky. The End.” 1.2578 0.04866 128 102 19 7
855 . . . and then this big ol' giant meteor comes flying out of the sky . . . 1.2578 0.04738 128 101 21 6
856 You’re not gonna tell the crazy story about the meteorite again are you? 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
857 Warm your toes and get a light up your nose, it’s Dino Hour baby! 1.2576 0.05115 132 108 14 10
858 Hey, cut it out, you're making my blood run colder. 1.2576 0.04641 132 104 22 6
859 He didn't taste good but at least he had a nice toy. 1.2576 0.05115 132 108 14 10
860 Ordinarily I would insist we are not monsters,but now I get it. 1.2574 0.04782 136 109 19 8
861 Okay, but I think you’re plenty scary without the gimmicks. 1.2574 0.04042 136 103 31 2
862 No! Not the one about the big meteor! 1.2569 0.04379 144 113 25 6
863 And even now,when you drive over that bridge,you can still hear the cries of the Brontosaurus’s girlfriend… 1.2566 0.04620 152 123 19 10
864 I know this film is on a tight budget, but is it too much to ask that we hire a lighting designer? 1.2566 0.04328 152 120 25 7
865 ...but that wasn't the last time we saw Jimmy, oh no. He showed up 65 million years later, being used as fuel for a PT Cruiser! 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
866 Stop it! You’re scaring away our dinner. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
867 And suddenly, a giant fireball appears in the sky 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
868 I’m scared of the dark 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
869 Check out my new dental implants! 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
870 It was a bright and sunny day… 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
871 One day the purple one will return and he will be called Barney.” 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
872 Those campers were stringy but it was worth it just to get their flashlight. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
873 And then we were cloned and lived forever in a giant amusement park 1.2560 0.05194 125 102 14 9
874 I think I've got the lyrics. 'Come on baby, light my fire.' 1.2558 0.04705 129 102 21 6
875 It makes me look eons younger 1.2558 0.04575 129 101 23 5
876 Can't we just make the s'mores now? 1.2558 0.04575 129 101 23 5
877 Am I still extinct? 1.2558 0.04302 129 99 27 3
878 And then we all go extinct. 1.2558 0.04575 129 101 23 5
879 Is it me or is my night cream really working? 1.2558 0.04575 129 101 23 5
880 They say THE HUMAN still lurks in these woods 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
881 And poof! Up went Little Jackie Paper. 1.2556 0.04851 133 107 18 8
882 My granny told this one so here it goes once upon time there was a Diploceraspis living alone in a forest … 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
883 Do I have any time traveler in my teeth? 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
884 And then they made a SIXTH movie!!! With actors as old as us!! 1.2556 0.04223 133 102 28 3
885 'Well, that's an improvement." 1.2555 0.04751 137 110 19 8
886 And out popped...a late-stage capitalist society! 1.2555 0.04520 137 108 23 6
887 ...iridocyclitis... 1.2555 0.04520 137 108 23 6
888 Save your breath. I have a flashlight. 1.2552 0.04567 145 116 21 8
889 ...and thousands of chattering creatures swarm around macabre displays built from our bones! 1.2548 0.04418 157 126 22 9
890 Now that you've discovered fire, can I ditch this flashlight? 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
891 That's no pterodactyl" murmured Obi Wantosaurus, "it's an asteroid... 1.2541 0.04592 122 95 23 4
892 And then you didn’t eat the dentist? 1.2541 0.04878 122 97 19 6
893 And so once upon a time, there was this character named Scaredactyl.... 1.2541 0.04878 122 97 19 6
894 That's good. Now see if you can make a growling sound. 1.2541 0.04125 122 92 29 1
895 And their museums were full of our bones! 1.2540 0.04904 126 101 18 7
896 Do you think my whitening strips are working? 1.2540 0.04904 126 101 18 7
897 He was giving a fireside chat, but I ate him anyway. 1.2540 0.04638 126 99 22 5
898 You need a shave. 1.2540 0.04772 126 100 20 6
899 Is there something stuck in my teeth? 1.2540 0.04207 126 96 28 2
900 And then I said, "time traveler, time schmaveler," right before I ate him. 1.2538 0.04922 130 105 17 8
901 Do you think my sagging neck is a sign of a coming disaster? 1.2538 0.04673 130 103 21 6
902 And when they shed their skin, it was George Santos! 1.2538 0.04922 130 105 17 8
903 And your blood will grease their machines! 1.2538 0.04799 130 104 19 7
904 And then ... creak, creak, creak .... down the stairs came ....Saint George! 1.2538 0.04544 130 102 23 5
905 All the light and none of the heat! 1.2538 0.04673 130 103 21 6
906 Heeeeeere's Jaxartosaurus! 1.2538 0.04673 130 103 21 6
907 And then St. George slowly pulled out his sword. 1.2537 0.04700 134 107 20 7
908 So, after smoking for twenty years his lungs were ruined and he couldn’t breathe fire anymore. 1.2537 0.05046 134 110 14 10
909 Mom said they yelled something about time travel before she ate ‘em. 1.2536 0.04607 138 110 21 7
910 Can you please repeat the part where you ate the humans? 1.2536 0.04607 138 110 21 7
911 Really? You took his flashlight too? 1.2536 0.04607 138 110 21 7
912 And then, a giant asteroid hits and everyone dies. Scary, huh? 1.2536 0.04831 138 112 17 9
913 An asteroid is coming to get you!... Har, har, har 1.2534 0.04326 146 115 25 6
914 Is that still stuck on my teeth? 1.2533 0.03922 150 115 32 3
915 ...and a humongous meteor struck the Earth... 1.2531 0.04492 162 132 19 11
916 ...and then after the meteor hits, and you're dead, your body decomposes under ground until it turns into sludge, and then it gets pumped up and consumed by fire in some weird way by warm-blooded creatures... 1.2530 0.04331 166 134 22 10
917 Loser lies in the amber! 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
918 They remove their skin everyday... 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
919 And then the little girl leaned over and looked under her bed! 1.2520 0.04559 123 96 23 4
920 Hey, can you see this zit on my chin? 1.2520 0.04996 127 103 16 8
921 ...and where his claws should be, he had a big metal hook! 1.2519 0.05007 131 107 15 9
922 Do you think I can get by without flossing tonight? 1.2519 0.04549 135 107 22 6
923 This isn't what I had in mind for our anniversary,Carl. 1.2519 0.04900 135 110 16 9
924 The extinct stuff is starting to scare me 1.2519 0.04299 135 105 26 4
925 Okay with that lighting I see why they’re scared of us 1.2519 0.04169 135 104 28 3
926 OOH, They walked on TWO legs and had TWO arms! ........ 1.2518 0.04800 139 113 17 9
927 Then, just before the end—a giant, menacing balloon floated ominously across the land... 1.2518 0.04690 139 112 19 8
928 The part about the asteroid slamming into the planet seems a little far-fetched. 1.2518 0.04577 139 111 21 7
929 And after he met Jackie, nobody saw him in Honalee ever again! 1.2517 0.04704 143 116 18 9
930 And then the meteor hit! 1.2500 0.04519 136 108 22 6
931 Not only was the asteroid on a collision course, but we had failed to establish a National Aeronautics and Space Administration and a DART spacecraft for planetary defense!” 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
932 You think this is scary! Let me tell you about an extinction event. 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
933 You look very scary, yes. Now can we please just enjoy the evening? 1.2500 0.04397 136 107 24 5
934 The dentist said I have the whitest teeth he had ever seen before I ate him. 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
935 You seem convinced the Invisalign is working. 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
936 What is the fire for? 1.2500 0.04573 128 101 22 5
937 And just when the pandemic subsided, a mysterious balloon that could wipe out an entire civilization was spotted in the sky above. 1.2500 0.04519 136 108 22 6
938 If the fire doesn't keep the humans away,we can defend ourselves with this human light saber.. 1.2500 0.04462 144 115 22 7
939 once upon a time there was a human.... 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
940 My mom said humans aren't real. 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
941 Mm? Yes, you’re very scary. 1.2500 0.04734 132 106 19 7
942 Flossing after meals. You should try it. 1.2483 0.04098 145 113 28 4
943 Stop scaring me! You look just like Ernest Borgnine! 1.2482 0.04608 137 110 20 7
944 And then, a future species takes over the earth, and they turn us into punchlines! 1.2482 0.04369 137 108 24 5
945 And then a great ball fell out of the sky, and the land burned, then turned to ice, and no more of us roamed the earth forevermore! 1.2481 0.04821 133 108 17 8
946 I'd stick with the breathing fire. 1.2481 0.04323 133 104 25 4
947 Do you want the one about the volcanoes or the asteroid? 1.2481 0.04453 133 105 23 5
948 And then I fought a double headed dragon and a giant moth but STILL did badly at the box office 1.2481 0.04579 133 106 21 6
949 And the villagers didn’t even panic. They just pulled out a big red canister with two words written across it…Fire Extinguisher. 1.2481 0.04673 129 103 20 6
950 Yeah, right. As if asteroids are real. 1.2481 0.04801 129 104 18 7
951 I think your face might be better suited for radio. 1.2481 0.04926 129 105 16 8
952 You're scary, but not as scary as those guys we just ate. 1.2481 0.04926 129 105 16 8
953 This is history's first fireside chat 1.2481 0.04542 129 102 22 5
954 Okay, first of all, what is a comet? 1.2480 0.04906 125 101 17 7
955 And then they’ll make a movie franchise about us and each new movie will be worse than the previous one. 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
956 And if the story I just told isn't true, may a meteor strike me dead! 1.2479 0.04277 121 93 26 2
957 And then after stabbing it and burning it, the little human ate the marshmallow. 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
958 Does holding this flashlight so close make me look extinct? 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
959 Then, after the meteor, arrive tiny, fleshy creatures who take over the world… 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
960 Stop it! I have fire dripping out my nose. 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
961 No way you look sixty-five million years old. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
962 you've been watching too many Far Side cartoons.. 1.2478 0.04954 113 90 18 5
963 No, you're scarier when you wake up in the morning 1.2478 0.04954 113 90 18 5
964 … and then the comet hit Flo-o-o-rida! 1.2466 0.04299 146 116 24 6
965 Then I ate all their s'mores. 1.2465 0.04490 142 114 21 7
966 Seriously Bob, where'd you get that thing? 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
967 I'm looking to increasing the wow factor. 1.2464 0.04692 138 112 18 8
968 Do you think he saurus? 1.2463 0.04670 134 108 19 7
969 And the there was this flash of light and we all disappeared. 1.2462 0.04891 130 106 16 8
970 Then he lands a job with a big insurance company and we haven't heard from him since 1.2462 0.04768 130 105 18 7
971 Great. You brought a flashlight, but forgot the shrooms. 1.2462 0.04377 130 102 24 4
972 Puff, I don't think scary stories are your thing. How about a story about your house by the sea? 1.2462 0.04891 130 106 16 8
973 The trump desantis debate 1.2462 0.05012 130 107 14 9
974 And then a huge rock appeared in the sky. 1.2460 0.04319 126 98 25 3
975 Hey, you promised Mom you wouldn't do that to me! 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
976 Then, the meteorite crushes into the Earth and we become extinct 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
977 And that's where dino nuggets come from. 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
978 And then there was a bright flash in the sky 1.2459 0.04843 122 98 18 6
979 The scary thing is all that nose hair. Ugh. 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
980 Bvxt ejlmn garrr milzwk pooooj* *Look what I found after we ate the last time traveller. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
981 My turn, my turn. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
982 And just like THAT! The little Boy Scout dropped his flashlight and went screaming into the woods, never to be heard from again. 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
983 You are so unfunny with that stupid grin. Try looking more dragon like and by the way you should brush. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
984 You're frightening enough without special effects! 1.2450 0.04199 151 120 25 6
985 Oh, grow up! That's pathetically paleolithic. 1.2444 0.04518 135 108 21 6
986 Do I look as scared as the guy I ate to get this flashlight? 1.2443 0.04210 131 102 26 3
987 As I took his flashlight I told the boy "I thought your motto is 'be prepared.' You obviously aren't." 1.2443 0.04609 131 105 20 6
988 Grandpa, everyone knows there’s no such thing as meteorites. 1.2443 0.04977 131 108 14 9
989 And then they collected all of her bones and put them in a museum. 1.2443 0.04480 131 104 22 5
990 Here's a scary story for you! The Donald thinks he should be President again. 1.2443 0.04480 131 104 22 5
991 A human once told me this scary story about an asteroid that will kill us all. The human called himself “Time Traveler”. Anyway, that’s where I got this flashlight. 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
992 Before they went extinct, they invented a lot of things. 1.2441 0.05088 127 105 13 9
993 Yes, your dental implants are very nice. 1.2432 0.04473 111 86 23 2
994 Are you seriously telling me this torch will still be around in 65,000 millions years and we won't? 1.2432 0.05462 111 92 11 8
995 Goldimonster hesitated, then whispered, “my, what small teeth you have”. 1.2426 0.04489 136 109 21 6
996 ...and then the accountant slowly looked up from his desk and said, 'TAX TIME'. 1.2424 0.04703 132 107 18 7
997 Well, it frightens Velociraptors 1.2424 0.04578 132 106 20 6
998 Can you look closer? I think it's a finger. 1.2424 0.04318 132 104 24 4
999 I don't know...an idiot with a flashlight lighting his own stupid face? 1.2424 0.04450 132 105 22 5
1000 So his vorpal blade went snicker-snak and I thought , hmmm, Snack! 1.2424 0.04824 132 108 16 8
1001 Then I said 'I could shoot someone on 5th Avenue or grab a woman by the pussy and stalk and physically menace and intimidate Hilary all over a small debate stage for close to 2 hours on live television and still get elected president. The End! 1.2422 0.04802 128 104 17 7
1002 In a thousand years there is a new species that destroys the entire planet 1.2422 0.04539 128 102 21 5
1003 Next is "The Legend of the La Brea Tar Pits 1.2422 0.04802 128 104 17 7
1004 Do I have any apex predator stuck in my teeth? 1.2422 0.04929 128 105 15 8
1005 They call him Puff! 1.2420 0.03980 157 124 28 5
1006 You're not scary. You just look stupid and you're wasting batteries. 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
1007 Quit messing around and pass me a beer 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
1008 You're really dragon this ghost story out, Phil. 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
1009 Those new lithium batteries work remarkably well 1.2417 0.04879 120 97 17 6
1010 It’s a flashlight. We can see at night without having to breath fire! 1.2417 0.04879 120 97 17 6
1011 The asteroid, nine miles wide, hurled quickly through space toward the Yucatán Peninsula… 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1012 When I said lighten up I was referring to the excruciatingly dull conversation we were having. 1.2414 0.05140 116 95 14 7
1013 It makes you look scaly. 1.2414 0.04184 145 115 25 5
1014 And then everyone in Tokyo started firing missiles! 1.2414 0.04992 116 94 16 6
1015 And, then, a massive asteroid hit the earth. 1.2414 0.04184 145 115 25 5
1016 And then they realised, they weren’t in the Jurassic era at all. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
1017 And then...there came an asteroid! 1.2411 0.05267 112 92 13 7
1018 You look positively prehistoric! 1.2411 0.05112 112 91 15 6
1019 The call is coming from inside the cave! 1.2409 0.04459 137 110 21 6
1020 So it’s not You’re So Vain. Is it You Light Up My Life 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
1021 Marge,you have to try this new exfoliant. Only 2 weeks and I’m smooth as a Hermes pocketbook. 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
1022 My mom always told me to smile even when I'm telling ghost stories. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
1023 And the eerie voice in the dark screeched, you will be fossil fuuueeel! 1.2406 0.04791 133 109 16 8
1024 And that’s when they saw the asteroid 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1025 Next, they turned us into fuel! 1.2403 0.04085 129 100 27 2
1026 You look as scary as a Boy Scout. 1.2403 0.04640 129 104 19 6
1027 Don't be afraid, it's still me; the same attractive, fun-loving guy you always knew. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1028 C’Mon baby, light my fi-i-ire! 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1029 It’s my time to shine. 1.2400 0.04600 125 100 20 5
1030 Be honest, don't I look scary? 1.2400 0.05003 125 103 14 8
1031 …And after that, the land will be covered by millions of tiny little creatures barely the size of your toenail who will dig you up and burn your remains to power unimaginable machines that fly across the sky. 1.2397 0.04486 146 119 19 8
1032 Good thing humans aren't real 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
1033 No, Wait! It was the Governor of Florida AND Texas! 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
1034 Any broccoli in my teeth? 1.2397 0.04983 121 99 15 7
1035 No, I can't see any chives. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
1036 Ready to tell scary human stories? 1.2397 0.04236 121 94 25 2
1037 And then, all the dinosaurs became vegans! 1.2397 0.05119 121 100 13 8
1038 It's showtime! Another chilla thrilla from Godzilla! 1.2394 0.04680 142 117 16 9
1039 And then a gigantic ball of fire falls from the sky destroying all life! Bwahahahaha! 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
1040 Do I have anything stuck in my teeth? 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
1041 And 65 million years later, his bones were still on display for all to see... 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
1042 ... but the pizza had PINEAPPLE on it! 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
1043 ... but in fact, the meteor was heading right for them, and everything, everything they cherished would ... 1.2391 0.04548 138 112 19 7
1044 Scary Dragon Stories after a late Knight supper. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1045 The humans consumed more and more atop the giant bed. Our family cringed beneath as the box springs started snapping. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1046 Here’s bronny 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1047 This is not the way to impress a girl on a first date! 1.2389 0.05225 113 93 13 7
1048 ...and then a giant meteor came down and wiped out everyone and everything except this really weird 2 legged species that didn't even have a tail, called humans! Just kidding! 1.2388 0.04517 134 108 20 6
1049 Is this thing on? 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1050 And in the future, our future descendants eggs will become wildly expensive. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1051 I hate camping. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1052 I think we should get a divorce. 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
1053 Not sure how, but last time this was on my face, there was dinner on the other end. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1054 His bones were dug up by hairless monkeys, and displayed for educational amusement. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1055 No, these monsters were...preHERstoric! 1.2385 0.05358 109 90 12 7
1056 OMG, you almost looked human for a minute! 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
1057 And then the monster screamed when the human came out from under the bed . . . 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
1058 And then there was ANOTHER rate hike. 1.2385 0.04736 130 106 17 7
1059 Tell the part about the meteor again. 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
1060 ...and if you look on top of your bed, you may just see a human lurking there... 1.2385 0.04860 130 107 15 8
1061 Naah, doesn’t help…. 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
1062 Once upon a time, huge dinosaurs roamed the earth. 1.2381 0.04567 126 101 20 5
1063 And then the woman use their skin as a belt. 1.2381 0.05093 126 105 12 9
1064 Stop! I’ll have nightmares! 1.2381 0.04567 126 101 20 5
1065 And the knocking was coming from inside his ... stomach! 1.2381 0.04567 126 101 20 5
1066 Ugh, not that meteor story again! 1.2381 0.04426 126 100 22 4
1067 And as he came for us, he whispered, "It's a-me, Mario!" 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
1068 Enough already! Break out the s’mores! 1.2377 0.04807 122 99 17 6
1069 They displayed his body on a museum! 1.2377 0.04946 122 100 15 7
1070 I'm telling you. Hairless apes are real! 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
1071 Then suddenly, a giant rock from outer space came whizzing towards them... 1.2374 0.04633 139 114 17 8
1072 Is that it? 1.2373 0.04915 118 96 16 6
1073 Frightening, eh? 1.2373 0.04766 118 95 18 5
1074 Did I tell you about my visit to Tokyo? 1.2373 0.04286 118 92 24 2
1075 Turn that off! The counselor's going to see it 1.2373 0.05061 118 97 14 7
1076 NOT ONLY A GREAT LUNCH, BUT I GOT THIS AS WELL! 1.2370 0.04727 135 111 16 8
1077 Do I have some camper stuck in my teeth? 1.2366 0.04174 131 103 25 3
1078 And thennnnnn..... they all went EXTINCT! 1.2366 0.04576 131 106 19 6
1079 And then the humans showed up. 1.2366 0.04826 131 108 15 8
1080 Sorry, but I don’t find this quite as romantic as you do. 1.2366 0.04703 131 107 17 7
1081 What—my dental hygiene isn’t scary enough? 1.2364 0.05154 110 90 14 6
1082 Read my lips, you forgot the marshfellows. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1083 Welcome to open air mike night ! 1.2364 0.05154 110 90 14 6
1084 Yes, but moonlight becomes you. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1085 I dunno, Jerry, I think it accentuates your underbite. 1.2362 0.04803 127 104 16 7
1086 It was a night like this. A meteorite blazed through the sky. 1.2358 0.04483 123 98 21 4
1087 Damn! You look like a dragon! 1.2358 0.04483 123 98 21 4
1088 Then they hung up his bones in a museum! 1.2358 0.04630 123 99 19 5
1089 Oww! It makes you look lie a scary monster! 1.2357 0.04821 140 117 13 10
1090 And that is why you check for any meteors under your bed before you go to sleep 1.2357 0.04132 140 111 25 4
1091 I'll miss you when you take your show to Broadway 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
1092 Start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same. Then you’ll have a match. 1.2353 0.04333 136 109 22 5
1093 By the time that's popular, we'll be extinct. 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
1094 Here I am, the light of your life. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1095 Look for the ones doing this. They’re old and slower but still tasty. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
1096 And then this purple dinosaur would sing, 'I love you, you love me...'" 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
1097 ...and then a big giant flaming rock came down and destroyed everything. 1.2348 0.04545 132 107 19 6
1098 Must you always do that when you get to the "you slay me" part of the story? 1.2348 0.04146 132 104 25 3
1099 …and then a giant meteor came whirling down… 1.2348 0.04670 132 108 17 7
1100 Am I getting feathers under my chin? 1.2348 0.04793 132 109 15 8
1101 And then, BOOM, the asteroid hits! Don't worry it's just a campfire story. 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
1102 Fire is old school Reggie! The future is calling… come on and light up 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
1103 Do you think it makes me look scary? 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
1104 And they were all turned into this thing called OIL. 1.2344 0.04638 128 104 18 6
1105 Do I look more scary? 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
1106 Don’t you think this makes me look more ferocious?! 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
1107 And then they asked, "What's an asteroid?" 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1108 OMG! It makes you look human! 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1109 You bet Jur-ass-ic it’s cold out here! 1.2342 0.05270 111 92 12 7
1110 Sure beats breathing fire. 1.2339 0.04596 124 100 19 5
1111 Then big rock fall from sky 1.2339 0.04451 124 99 21 4
1112 He dropped it just before I ate him. 1.2339 0.04596 124 100 19 5
1113 Does this thing on my nose look pre-cancerous? 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
1114 Light my fire, light my fire. 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
1115 OOOOOOOO! When you do that it makes you look like a monster. 1.2336 0.04664 137 113 16 8
1116 Enough with the stupid human tricks ! 1.2333 0.04841 120 98 16 6
1117 It was a bright and sunny morning… 1.2333 0.04694 120 97 18 5
1118 And the scary small mammal said... 1.2331 0.03977 133 104 27 2
1119 And THEN a huge ROCK fell out of the Sky, and we all disappeared. 1.2331 0.04639 133 109 17 7
1120 Don't my new veneers look good, Sheryl? 1.2331 0.04514 133 108 19 6
1121 And then a giant meteor hit the earth and blew us out of existence! 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
1122 Is there any marshmallow in my teeth? 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
1123 And then a big rock fell out of the sky. 1.2326 0.04193 129 102 24 3
1124 And then they’ll make boots out of your skin and two step to Taylor Swift. 1.2326 0.04472 129 104 20 5
1125 …until the effects of climate change became irreversible. 1.2326 0.04335 129 103 22 4
1126 Can we stop telling warm and fuzzy stories? 1.2326 0.04606 129 105 18 6
1127 Can we skip to Kum-Ba-Ya? 1.2326 0.04472 129 104 20 5
1128 We'll thank them for inventing it, then all bets are off! 1.2326 0.04735 129 106 16 7
1129 I hear there's humans in these woods! 1.2321 0.04390 112 88 22 2
1130 They say it's more flattering than natural lighting. 1.2321 0.04570 112 89 20 3
1131 Man, that really makes you look wierd! 1.2321 0.05071 112 92 14 6
1132 And when I thought the date was a success she said: your fangs are so big I can see what you ate last week 1.2321 0.04909 112 91 16 5
1133 Ha! C'mon Jerry! We all know there's no such thing as an extinction level fireball falling from the sky. 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
1134 I promise, nothing is stuck in your teeth! 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
1135 Yes, that should scare away any wild animals. 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
1136 With my looks and your brains, we are here to stay. 1.2320 0.04702 125 102 17 6
1137 And they just kept making sequel, after sequel, after sequel! 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
1138 Yup, it's just a piece of spinach. 1.2320 0.04837 125 103 15 7
1139 This one's about how we were all killed by climate change. 1.2319 0.04633 138 114 16 8
1140 And then Elon Musk said, "I'm going to do a Twitter poll and let the Internet decide." 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
1141 Your reptilian sense of humor. That's what scares me. 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
1142 And then in the middle of the night when everyone was sleeping, a gigantic comet came and killed all of us. Sleep tight! 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
1143 Never mind where I got the light and listen to the story. 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
1144 Now do I look scary? 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
1145 and it had orange hairs on top of its head. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
1146 You done with that torch? - I’m kinda gettin’ cold here 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
1147 ...and then. as all the little lizards were going to sleep, after looking under their beds, a giant monster rock appeared in the sky! 1.2314 0.04509 121 97 20 4
1148 And then Satan will scatter your bones across the earth to fool believers. 1.2314 0.04354 121 96 22 3
1149 Maybe seeing me in a new light will increase my Tik Tok following. 1.2314 0.04805 121 99 16 6
1150 Then, in the well-lit room, he heard a sound from something not under the bed. 1.2313 0.04484 134 109 19 6
1151 Stop quibbling about opposing thumbs and focus on the story, or so help me I'll tear you to pieces! 1.2308 0.04702 130 107 16 7
1152 Can’t we have a campfire without you scaring the crap out of me? 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
1153 Turn it off, I know what you look like. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
1154 For me? fusion cuisine is mixing up leftovers and hoping for a miracle. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
1155 And that's what a museum is. 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
1156 Where did you get a flashlight? 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
1157 So when did this change from being a rally to being an intimate gathering? 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
1158 Save the batteries. It 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
1159 Leyend has it a rock from the sky will be our doom 1.2308 0.04761 117 95 17 5
1160 And then they all turned into birds! 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
1161 This one is guaranteed to give you knightmares. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
1162 NOOOO, why do we have to always die from a comet at the end of your stories?! 1.2302 0.05060 126 106 11 9
1163 And I say we call them “Dino-S’mores” 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
1164 And then the human uses dramatic uplighting to look even more hideous. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
1165 And 40 million years later,they dig up our bones and put them in a museum. 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
1166 And then the children would eat small dinosaur shaped chicken, rip the heads off, and dip it in KETCHUP!! 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
1167 Do you think our costumes will keep the bears away? 1.2296 0.04454 135 110 19 6
1168 And then the star started to get bigger and bigger... 1.2296 0.04576 135 111 17 7
1169 That actually makes you LESS scary. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1170 And then, from out of deep, dark outer space, came a meteor! 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
1171 The fire is dying. Your turn to breath on it. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1172 Ah, I see the problem now….your molars are impacted. 1.2295 0.04322 122 97 22 3
1173 But they said it was just a weather balloon! 1.2295 0.04769 122 100 16 6
1174 Narrow it down for me. Karloff or Lugosi? 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
1175 Too bad we couldn't use their sleeping bags. 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
1176 Don’t worry it doesn’t use a lithium battery. 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
1177 Then they made tiny pieces of chicken into shapes of us! 1.2290 0.04275 131 105 22 4
1178 Oooh! You look just like those critters we're having for dinner. 1.2288 0.04569 118 95 19 4
1179 …and climbing the tower was a giant gorilla! 1.2288 0.04408 118 94 21 3
1180 it shines but doesn't burn 1.2288 0.04240 118 93 23 2
1181 And then a mere 165 million years later, all the dinosaurs were... GONE. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
1182 Then this Boy-scout tried to sneak up on me… ridiculous right ? 1.2286 0.04222 140 113 22 5
1183 And to the ground we will go! For eternity, we will be crushed under rock! Only to be freed and then burned! The end. Do we have 'smores? 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
1184 Sorry, but you just don't look scary. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1185 Too human, too human! 1.2283 0.04211 127 101 23 3
1186 What is a meteor again? 1.2283 0.04498 127 103 19 5
1187 I can't wait till someone invents dental floss! 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1188 And then,this ginormous asteroid was hurling towards Earth…… 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1189 Do I have a fern stuck in my teeth? 1.2279 0.04545 136 112 17 7
1190 And then…Steven Spielberg and a camera crew showed up.. 1.2279 0.04664 136 113 15 8
1191 I'm scared. Show me the bunny rabbit. 1.2279 0.04424 136 111 19 6
1192 And then, a palaeontologist shot out from the woods! 1.2276 0.04591 123 100 18 5
1193 And then he turned around and revealed OPPOSABLE THUMBS! 1.2276 0.04443 123 99 20 4
1194 It was a calm and sunny day... 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
1195 Sorry, I know we are Dinosaurs, but don’t you know anything past 1981? 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
1196 All light and no smoke. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
1197 Are you sure these costumes are flame retardant? 1.2269 0.04535 119 96 19 4
1198 Tell me the one about the comet hitting the earth again. 1.2269 0.04839 119 98 15 6
1199 And suddenly, in the dark, appeared a knight in shining armor. 1.2269 0.04689 119 97 17 5
1200 And suddenly there was this loud angry shriek from the back of the room. Shaken to their core, the people turned to look in the direction of the hideous sound and saw Marjorie Taylor Greene. 1.2269 0.04984 119 99 13 7
1201 "I'll tell you the scariest story of all time. It starts with humans..." 1.2266 0.04602 128 105 17 6
1202 The monster had warm blood, fur and its offspring came out of it ALIVE! 1.2266 0.04602 128 105 17 6
1203 I agree already, it’s time for a little “nip and tuck” 1.2266 0.04466 128 104 19 5
1204 …and then a huge meteor crashed into the planet! 1.2266 0.04734 128 106 15 7
1205 and you try to catch the humans, but THEY’RE IN JEEPS! 1.2266 0.04327 128 103 21 4
1206 Then, just as the knight approached, the princess started making wild accusations! 1.2264 0.05409 106 89 10 7
1207 They roamed the earth, threatening anyone who got in their way--and then made up stories about us doing that. 1.2263 0.04633 137 114 15 8
1208 It’s fire to go. 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
1209 What a find! That belongs in a Museum. 1.2261 0.04950 115 95 14 6
1210 You light up my life... 1.2261 0.04950 115 95 14 6
1211 It was ten miles wide and hurtling through space... 1.2261 0.04464 115 92 20 3
1212 But it wasn't a shooting star at all! 1.2261 0.04793 115 94 16 5
1213 And it was then that she saw a sharp, metal hook hanging from the car's door handle! 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
1214 Look at me. Don’t look up! 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
1215 And then the meteor hits and we all go extinct! 1.2261 0.04950 115 95 14 6
1216 Beavis and Butthead - The Prequel. 1.2258 0.04699 124 102 16 6
1217 No, I don't see anything, but I hate it when those princes get stuck in your teeth. 1.2258 0.04411 124 100 20 4
1218 I learned it from some boy scouts I was staking out, 1.2256 0.04351 133 108 20 5
1219 I get slapstick but not irony. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
1220 . . . and then BOOM! We get wiped-out by a meteor. How crazy is that? 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
1221 But the campers had all covered themselves… with cilantro! 1.2255 0.05557 102 86 9 7
1222 They called it "meteorite". 1.2254 0.04168 142 115 22 5
1223 Can you lipread me now? 1.2252 0.04904 111 91 15 5
1224 Slowly, the asteroid crept closer... and closer... and closer... 1.2252 0.04904 111 91 15 5
1225 Look, it’s something to do until the Ice Age passes. 1.2252 0.04904 111 91 15 5
1226 Do you see any Boyscout in my teeth? 1.2252 0.04735 111 90 17 4
1227 Oh my God you're right. You do look like Godzilla. 1.2250 0.04802 120 99 15 6
1228 .........and then they took over the House and the Senate. 1.2250 0.04945 120 100 13 7
1229 And then kids will be obsessed with us and put our images on their clothes 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1230 Stop pretending to be a human, you‘re scaring me 1.2250 0.04802 120 99 15 6
1231 Closer and closer came the gigantic asteroid as it hurtled through space at thousands of miles per hour... 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1232 I wonder how many people will know or remember that we discovered fire and invented flashlights. 1.2250 0.04945 120 100 13 7
1233 But this Knight didn't just slay, he slayed all day. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1234 And he was doing this right before I ate him and the kid. 1.2250 0.04945 120 100 13 7
1235 Oh stop it! That makes you look like a monster! 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1236 You don't need a flashlight for the asteroid story.. 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
1237 Do I have any people stuck in my teeth? 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
1238 And then he realized “corporate restructuring” meant extinction 1.2243 0.05196 107 89 12 6
1239 Every summer, those Cub Scouts return to haunt these woods. 1.2241 0.04596 116 94 18 4
1240 Then the Stegosaurus said, ‘Flashlights haven’t been invented yet!’ 1.2241 0.04429 116 93 20 3
1241 And when the dad checked under the bed, there was a scary human hiding there! 1.2241 0.04257 116 92 22 2
1242 And the giant meteor kept getting closer and closer... 1.2241 0.04756 116 95 16 5
1243 And then, the humans came to eat us. 1.2241 0.04596 116 94 18 4
1244 And then they took his DNA and made him a theme park! 1.2241 0.04596 116 94 18 4
1245 And then the mammals came! 1.2240 0.04074 125 99 24 2
1246 I AM being honest. I don't see any new hairs, Shelley. 1.2240 0.04665 125 103 16 6
1247 Come on baby, light my fire. 1.2239 0.04054 134 107 24 3
1248 And thousands of Neanderthals each with spears and yelling "kill, kill, kill," surrounded the terror-filled T-Rex. 1.2233 0.05150 103 85 13 5
1249 They made a movie of grandpa attacking Tokyo, but because he wasn't a SAG member, they didn't even pay him scale. 1.2233 0.05150 103 85 13 5
1250 ''Sorry honey but I'm pretty sure the smoke is from the fire, not your nostrils'' 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
1251 Forget the asteroid. I’ll tell you something REALLY scary! 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
1252 Don't look now but your feet are beginning to smoke. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
1253 I know flossing is scary, but look at the results! 1.2232 0.05185 112 94 11 7
1254 Don’t worry! Humans aren’t real. 1.2232 0.05027 112 93 13 6
1255 I prefer the light of the silvery moon 1.2231 0.04766 121 100 15 6
1256 And after the deadly asteroid laid waste to the earth, the largest animals left alive were a bunch of disgusting little tree shrews! 1.2231 0.04467 121 98 19 4
1257 Come on, man! Too scary! 1.2231 0.04467 121 98 19 4
1258 No, I don't see any shoelaces caught between your teeth. 1.2231 0.04766 121 100 15 6
1259 Then Jeff Goldblum comes back and he’s still going on about chaos theory. 1.2231 0.04667 130 108 15 7
1260 What are you going to do once you burn out the batteries in that thing? 1.2231 0.04267 130 105 21 4
1261 And then the baby sprang out from under the bed with a blood-curdling shriek! 1.2230 0.04090 139 112 23 4
1262 I thought it funny too, but on humans it has the opposite effect 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
1263 No, these weren't normal campers - They were glampers and the rules didn't apply them! 1.2222 0.04766 126 105 14 7
1264 I would be a better storyteller but I have tendency to dragon.” R.Weingast New York, N.Y. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
1265 Botox, really Shirley? You look fantastic! 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
1266 It was a dark and stormy night and the Boy Scouts had become lost in the woods with only a flashlight to guide them. When suddenly their beam of light flashed on ,,,,ME! 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
1267 Wow! Dry feet AND night vision. 1.2222 0.04293 135 110 20 5
1268 If you think you are scaring me, you are wrong. 1.2222 0.05663 99 84 8 7
1269 It was a dark and meteor showery night 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1270 And then it got reeeeally cold. 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1271 And after is was all over and everyone thought they could finally relax, there came ...THE PREQUEL! 1.2222 0.04631 126 104 16 6
1272 'Pays to floss your teeth, eh? 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1273 This is my scary human face! 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1274 I don’t care what the dentist told you….you Don’t Need Braces! 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1275 And the batteries are rechargeable, and I’m guessing you can probably eat them, too.” 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
1276 Did you floss? 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
1277 Almost makes me look scary, huh? 1.2222 0.04348 126 102 20 4
1278 ...and your decaying body will be dug up and burned as fuel by future generations. 1.2222 0.04631 126 104 16 6
1279 Take the flashlight! I can tell you have to go. 1.2222 0.04766 126 105 14 7
1280 Not scary Kevin. And I seriously doubt that this camp site is built on top of an ancient mammalian burial ground! 1.2222 0.04665 99 79 18 2
1281 It's me, Elon Musk, and you're fired! 1.2222 0.05021 117 98 12 7
1282 Yikes! You lookHUMAN! 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1283 …and the whole story was written by a computer! 1.2222 0.04200 126 101 22 3
1284 A comet, you say? 1.2222 0.04492 126 103 18 5
1285 Then they get into SUVs and take two parking spaces. 1.2222 0.04293 135 110 20 5
1286 It makes you look even meaner. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
1287 BOO! He was a scaredactyl. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
1288 No, it doesn't look scary. I can just see all your tartar. 1.2222 0.04348 126 102 20 4
1289 Let me tell you a human story… 1.2222 0.04348 126 102 20 4
1290 You look human 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1291 And a big, fiery rock comes down from the sky... 1.2214 0.04064 140 113 23 4
1292 Grrr-Assic! 1.2214 0.04506 131 108 17 6
1293 And then, the beautiful maiden declared herself non-binary. 1.2213 0.04279 122 98 21 3
1294 The only prophecy yet to be fulfilled involves an asteroid... 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
1295 A song, four words, first word sounds like . . . . 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
1296 I learned this from the humans we ate...scary, huh? 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
1297 And she shouts, "It's a cookbook!" 1.2212 0.05142 113 95 11 7
1298 Meteorites? Come on, Michael! This thing will only attract moths … 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
1299 … and they call us fossil fuels!” 1.2212 0.04986 113 94 13 6
1300 And then the voice whispered his dying word: extinction. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
1301 And then they said, "We've traced the call and it's coming from inside the cave." 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
1302 Fire is so yesterday. 1.2212 0.05790 104 90 5 9
1303 And they sit at the computers all day. Typing emails! 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
1304 The Beast... With FIVE FINGERS! 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
1305 Why do humans like camping? 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
1306 And Chris Pratt reboots the franchise! 1.2206 0.04512 136 113 16 7
1307 and Barney was never seen again." The End. 1.2205 0.04598 127 105 16 6
1308 And then he cried out, "My name is Bilbo Baggins!" 1.2205 0.04170 127 102 22 3
1309 I said please don’t do that! It really makes you look human! 1.2203 0.04683 118 97 16 5
1310 And this is the scary part: it was a H*U*M*A*N 1.2203 0.04683 118 97 16 5
1311 And as our vaporized bodies increase the earth’s temperature, the humans will do… NOTHING! 1.2203 0.04525 118 96 18 4
1312 Does This Make Me Look Gentle? 1.2203 0.04683 118 97 16 5
1313 The end 1.2202 0.05272 109 92 10 7
1314 you're just not that scary 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
1315 Humans were extinct millions of years ago! Stop playing with their toys!! 1.2202 0.05108 109 91 12 6
1316 ‘Blinded by the light’…wait, what? No, that can’t be the next lyric. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
1317 Then I took my human form and became president 1.2202 0.05272 109 92 10 7
1318 Don't beat around the bush, just tell me if I really look extinct 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
1319 Is that what he was holding when you ate him? 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
1320 Your face is gonna freeze like that forever. 1.2195 0.04835 123 103 13 7
1321 [...] then, the monsters heard a horrifying voice that said: "babe, can you pass me the marshmallows?" 1.2195 0.04088 123 98 23 2
1322 After the knock at the door a voice spoke "This is the IRS, you're being audited" 1.2193 0.04946 114 95 13 6
1323 But it seems that the major extinction event was coming from INSIDE the house! 1.2193 0.04622 114 93 17 4
1324 ...and just like that, Social Security, gas stoves, history books, and common sense were lost forever. 1.2193 0.04946 114 95 13 6
1325 And then the Fed raised interest rates to six percent. 1.2193 0.04787 114 94 15 5
1326 Do I look normal and non-threatening when I do this?? 1.2190 0.05577 105 90 7 8
1327 and that's when he noticed a tiny arm reaching for him! 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
1328 Suddenly the sheets moved and a face appeared from over the bed. IT WAS A LITTLE BOY! 1.2190 0.05238 105 88 11 6
1329 OMG! It makes you look like a monster, when the light is right under your face! 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
1330 your feet scare me more than the story 1.2188 0.04428 128 105 18 5
1331 any extinct stories? 1.2188 0.04565 128 106 16 6
1332 Don't shine the light up like that. It makes you look like a monster! 1.2188 0.04953 128 109 10 9
1333 No! Surely a killer comet is scarier than an asteroid? 1.2185 0.03987 119 94 24 1
1334 Dude, you're already a monster what's the flashlight supposed to do? 1.2185 0.04491 119 97 18 4
1335 And then, a giant asteroid appeared in the sky... 1.2185 0.04647 119 98 16 5
1336 ...and years later they dig up your corpse to put on DISPLAY! 1.2185 0.04944 119 100 12 7
1337 You're right, these dragon costumes do make scary stories scarier. 1.2183 0.04370 142 118 17 7
1338 So once upon a time there was an asteroid 1.2183 0.04370 142 118 17 7
1339 And THIS is why you should always brush. 1.2182 0.04545 110 89 18 3
1340 Enough with the flashlight. This “no sun” thing really has me spooked. 1.2180 0.04314 133 109 19 5
1341 Sometimes you never know a person until you go camping with them. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
1342 Oh, wow! For a second there you looked like a human!! 1.2174 0.04749 115 95 15 5
1343 For the last time, no I do not know what anachronistic means and the dictionary won't be invented for centuries. 1.2174 0.04240 115 92 21 2
1344 Jurassic Park - After Dark 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
1345 O.K., who's dead? 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
1346 Do I have hobbit in my teeth? 1.2174 0.04749 115 95 15 5
1347 And then the human ATE the laundry pod! 1.2174 0.04749 115 95 15 5
1348 The asteroid was coming from within the atmosphere! 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
1349 These ghost stories do dragon 1.2174 0.04749 115 95 15 5
1350 ...and they called him Godzilla! 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
1351 I want to wake up in a city that never sleeps, and find that I’m king of the hill 1.2171 0.04397 129 106 18 5
1352 Turn that off! You're going to attract Mothra. 1.2171 0.04664 129 108 14 7
1353 You still have some camper stuck in your teeth. 1.2170 0.05193 106 89 11 6
1354 Wait, how many dinosaurs came out to play? 1.2170 0.04447 106 85 19 2
1355 Watch carefully as I exhale. 1.2170 0.05017 106 88 13 5
1356 And that's when he realized he wasn't in Tokyo ... he was in Tampa! 1.2170 0.04447 106 85 19 2
1357 Stop it, Glen, you're scaring the eggs. 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
1358 I'd rather you light my fire. 1.2170 0.05193 106 89 11 6
1359 …dude asteroid jokes aren’t cool man 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
1360 And when exactly did St. George get a flashlight? 1.2167 0.04611 120 99 16 5
1361 When you do that it makes me realize how much better looking I am than you. 1.2167 0.04761 120 100 14 6
1362 Invis-a-lign! Get it? 1.2167 0.04131 120 96 22 2
1363 And that's the story of how the evil humans destroyed the earth! 1.2167 0.04611 120 99 16 5
1364 How do I take a selfie with this thing? 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
1365 See my teeth, I ate a Dentist today. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
1366 Okay, okay. You’re very scary now, alright? 1.2165 0.05528 97 82 9 6
1367 You've never looked better. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
1368 And here’s an old classic from the Jurassic… 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
1369 And then the big meteor got closer and closer ... 1.2162 0.04858 111 92 14 5
1370 Omigod, you look like a human! 1.2162 0.04322 111 89 20 2
1371 And there stood Big Foot! 1.2162 0.04128 111 88 22 1
1372 Buzzingaaa!! 1.2162 0.04686 111 91 16 4
1373 It came out of the scary tent—head, two arms, two legs, and it walked upright. 1.2162 0.04858 111 92 14 5
1374 And then a giant asteroid wipes us all out! 1.2162 0.04686 111 91 16 4
1375 ...and then humans take over the earth. 1.2162 0.04508 111 90 18 3
1376 Okay, that's going to give me nightmares for a millennium. 1.2162 0.04322 111 89 20 2
1377 …and they will sell chicken nuggets shaped like us. 1.2162 0.05023 111 93 12 6
1378 Sure, you look scary. But Tokyo it ain't. 1.2160 0.04484 125 103 17 5
1379 Hey, Vegas, it's great to be back! 1.2160 0.04338 125 102 19 4
1380 ...and then he called for his dad to check under the bed! 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
1381 And this light suddenly appeared in the sky and got bigger and brighter, BIGGER AND BRIGHTER, and then … 1.2157 0.04951 102 84 14 4
1382 And then they use this light when the fire goes out 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
1383 And you don’t have to plug it in. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
1384 And suddenly, a huge fire rock appeared in the sky! 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
1385 I always look better in the dark. 1.2155 0.04550 116 95 17 4
1386 “The last time I ate one of our own kind was around a campfire just like this …” he began his story with a dinosaur-devil face . 1.2155 0.04207 116 93 21 2
1387 Here’s a great scary story. An asteroid hits the earth, leads to a mass extinction that kills off all the dinosaurs. What a crock! 1.2155 0.04382 116 94 19 3
1388 I find fire with big light, no heat. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1389 I think it was better when we breathed the only fire. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1390 We're not alone. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
1391 …Maaaarjorie Taaaaaylor Greeeeene! 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1392 A Caveman taught me this move. 1.2149 0.04265 121 98 20 3
1393 Yes, I think whitening strips will make a big improvement. 1.2149 0.04265 121 98 20 3
1394 Ha! I'm brighter than you! 1.2149 0.04424 121 99 18 4
1395 But… the asteroid *didn’t* miss Earth as expected! 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1396 ... and they realized the sounds of the child were coming from on top of the bed! 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
1397 YES, I SEE THE CAVITY NOW. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
1398 And then the human said: let's do taxes. 1.2143 0.05280 98 82 11 5
1399 Your stories are so out of date! 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
1400 And then, after the killer asteroid, came the real destroyer ... HOMO SAPIENS! 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
1401 Yes, I am out of batteries AGAIN. 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
1402 And then this huge asteroid appeared across the sky… 1.2143 0.04592 126 105 15 6
1403 The hitchhiker had vanished! And only her puff of smoke remained. 1.2137 0.04675 117 97 15 5
1404 One of the archaeologists dropped it. 1.2137 0.04514 117 96 17 4
1405 And all anyone ever found of them were fossils.. 1.2137 0.04675 117 97 15 5
1406 And then they turn them into purses! 1.2137 0.04830 117 98 13 6
1407 . . . And then Human Beings took over the planet! 1.2137 0.04348 117 95 19 3
1408 Look! Forty years later and I'm still immature. 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
1409 Woe-ho! I'm a meteor landing in Mexico! 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
1410 And they lived raptory ever after. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
1411 I don't get, is this supposed to be scary? 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
1412 I’m a caveman. I discovered fire. I’m top of the food chain 1.2133 0.04187 150 125 18 7
1413 Sure, Man discovered fire, but I invented the flashlight. 1.2131 0.04831 122 103 12 7
1414 And to this day...no one knows where he's buried 1.2131 0.04831 122 103 12 7
1415 For God’s sake, Frank, put that thing away. You’re ugly enough as it is. 1.2130 0.04931 108 90 13 5
1416 ...and then the human jumped up behind me and screamed 'SELFIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!' 1.2130 0.04931 108 90 13 5
1417 And then he ripped off his own face, and inside was a human the whole time! 1.2130 0.04373 108 87 19 2
1418 And the meteor came closer and CLOSER!! 1.2130 0.04753 108 89 15 4
1419 You keep that up, your face will stay that way. 1.2128 0.05427 94 79 10 5
1420 Stop clowning and get the marshmallows. 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
1421 ... and the police sergeant said, 'We traced the lizard skin handbags - they're made inside the house. Get out!' 1.2126 0.04694 127 107 13 7
1422 Legend has it that our days here are numbered! 1.2126 0.04559 127 106 15 6
1423 So we died too? 1.2126 0.04127 127 103 21 3
1424 This IS my scary face. 1.2124 0.04611 113 93 16 4
1425 So there was this T-Rex with a hook for a hand... 1.2124 0.04779 113 94 14 5
1426 And stealthily, the cowardly Saint George crrreppppt up on the sweetly sleeping innocent dragon . . . 1.2124 0.04611 113 93 16 4
1427 And someday your bones will be on display in a museum. 1.2124 0.04779 113 94 14 5
1428 You'll perish in a firey BANG. And at the Smithsonian, they won't even charge people to see your bones. 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
1429 That last paleontologist gave me heartburn 1.2124 0.04779 113 94 14 5
1430 And..... Then they said no more social security ! 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
1431 …And now a word from our sponsor. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
1432 Am I scary or what ! 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
1433 OMG! How scary! I thought you looked like a human! 1.2119 0.04315 118 96 19 3
1434 Yes, I said you're not very bright but that doesn't help. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
1435 When is it my turn to use the flashlight and show off my teeth? 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1436 I am telling a joke! 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
1437 Still carrying a torch for me “ 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
1438 Yes, your dentist did a great job, but how much did you pay? 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
1439 Egad! Then what did St. George do? 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1440 …and then the human crawled out from under the bed. What happens next will blow your mind… 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
1441 Hunting humans is easy...I do this and they just drop dead!! 1.2114 0.04358 123 101 18 4
1442 Were batteries included? 1.2110 0.04337 109 88 19 2
1443 They checked the nest, and... the horror! There, newly hatched before them, a purple vegan singing dinosaur, immaculately conceived by the imagination of children! 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
1444 Arrrggggh...I'm a Person! 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
1445 Suddenly, everyone got obsessed with a show about wealthy people in luxury resorts with a hefty dose of betrayal, sex, drugs, and murder. That’s how we became irrelevant on tv shows… 1.2110 0.04713 109 90 15 4
1446 Never have I ever drunk a craft beer. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
1447 That works on the kids, Karl, but you don’t frighten me. 1.2105 0.04032 114 91 22 1
1448 Being a Republican, I am only trying to keep you in fear 1.2105 0.04740 114 95 14 5
1449 ...suddenly this huge flaming rock pierces our atmosphere and click, lights out. 1.2105 0.04032 114 91 22 1
1450 I assure you. There's nothing in your teeth. 1.2105 0.04740 114 95 14 5
1451 I don't think we can cook with it but I love how flattering it is on my face. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
1452 And then—the latest ‘Jurassic Park’ sequel went straight-to-streaming! 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
1453 And just when you thought it was finally over, they started a whole new franchise called Jurassic WORLD! 1.2101 0.04418 138 116 15 7
1454 I know you're trying, Roger, but I'm just not terrified. 1.2101 0.04445 119 98 17 4
1455 Phil, are there any campers stuck in my teeth? 1.2101 0.04603 119 99 15 5
1456 I think you've just invented the selfie. 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
1457 And when he turned around, there was a giant robot copy of himself!!! 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
1458 Check this! Do I look like Godzilla? 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
1459 …and there’s a bunny that just keeps going and going. 1.2097 0.04172 124 101 20 3
1460 And then, hurtling out of the night ski was a fire ball like no one has ever seen! What happened next? 1.2097 0.04172 124 101 20 3
1461 And in the morning... I'm making waffles! 1.2097 0.04326 124 102 18 4
1462 Gerald, I think we need to talk about our divorce. 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
1463 Isn't this more fun than Dungeons and Dragons? 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
1464 If man is a monster, I have a monster inside of me. 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
1465 and a giant rock headed this way. 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
1466 Stop shaking, climate change is a just a myth. 1.2095 0.05008 105 88 12 5
1467 And then they put your bones into a museum for groups of children to fart on 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
1468 How have you been affected by cancelation? 1.2093 0.04494 129 108 15 6
1469 Crap, marshmallows are still a million years away... 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
1470 Asteroid stories again? 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
1471 '"So then he ghosted me." 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
1472 Do I have a survival skills badge stuck in my teeth? 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
1473 By the time I sing 'Don't Rain on My Parade,' they'll have forgotten Barbra completely. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
1474 With those looks we'll never survive. 1.2091 0.04302 110 89 19 2
1475 And that, dear boy, is why the first Tyrannosauruses became rextinct. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
1476 Oh, dear. Go for back lighting. 1.2091 0.05018 110 93 11 6
1477 Maybe man invented fire, but look at what I invented! 1.2087 0.04537 115 95 16 4
1478 And the whole park was full of HUMANS 1.2087 0.04537 115 95 16 4
1479 And then, after thousands of years, they'll dig up your body and turn it into single-use toothpicks! 1.2087 0.04537 115 95 16 4
1480 And then the spooky comet made the Chicxulub crater 1.2087 0.04862 115 97 12 6
1481 Like usual, his short arms were of no use. 1.2087 0.04703 115 96 14 5
1482 And I see Sasquatch and I go like "Boo"! 1.2087 0.04366 115 94 18 3
1483 It was a bright and balmy day... 1.2087 0.04862 115 97 12 6
1484 It's from the future! 1.2087 0.04366 115 94 18 3
1485 This motherfucker. 1.2083 0.04865 120 102 11 7
1486 ... and then, out of the woods, came a pack of Cub Scouts. 1.2083 0.04718 120 101 13 6
1487 One of their better inventions. 1.2083 0.04250 120 98 19 3
1488 And when the light shines in the dragon’s face you could see little bits of Boy Scout in its teeth! 1.2083 0.04568 120 100 15 5
1489 Check this out. We can stop breathing fire 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
1490 Stop it, Keith, you’re freaking me it. 1.2079 0.04939 101 84 13 4
1491 I'd look a lot scarier with music. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
1492 Where do you find batteries for that thing? 1.2079 0.04939 101 84 13 4
1493 …his heart sank… but then he remembered that he was an apex predator and he lived happily ever after. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
1494 Okay, but apart from the ability to make fire, the dexterity to make tools and the invention of electricity, what have opposable thumbs ever really given you?” 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
1495 Well, I can say this. You need to floss more. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
1496 And that's how the Jurassic Park came to an end 1.2079 0.04939 101 84 13 4
1497 And this is how you look scary with a flashlight. 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
1498 "Tell me another scary story about the mammals. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
1499 No Frank, I am not scared. You should know by now I have thicker skin than that! 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
1500 …and then the big, scary, fiery rock fell from the sky… 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
1501 And then the wretched creature said, “I’m all out of Thin Mints!” 1.2079 0.04939 101 84 13 4
1502 Oh sure. A giant asteroid will kill us all. Right. 1.2075 0.04965 106 89 12 5
1503 You forgot the bear repellent spray? 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
1504 You know, ‘Brontosaurus’ is considered racially offensive today. 1.2075 0.04965 106 89 12 5
1505 You are really freaking me out Bret. 1.2075 0.04780 106 88 14 4
1506 Just shine the light under you chin like this. And it scares the hell out of the monsters. 1.2075 0.04589 106 87 16 3
1507 And they were made into chicken nuggets! 1.2072 0.04455 111 91 17 3
1508 And the only thing left of that whole family was a thin silvery trace of iridium. 1.2072 0.04635 111 92 15 4
1509 And then the politicians said, “I’m not a scientist, but rocks don’t just fall from space.” 1.2072 0.04976 111 94 11 6
1510 And then, where the tail was supposed to be, was another tiny arm!!! 1.2072 0.04809 111 93 13 5
1511 It's nice to warm up my face with the light,don't you agree? 1.2072 0.04267 111 90 19 2
1512 Those weren’t functional mushrooms. 1.2072 0.04267 111 90 19 2
1513 STOP!!! It's cold and dark and you're scaring me. 1.2069 0.04332 116 95 18 3
1514 Nothing scarier than the extinction. 1.2066 0.04378 121 100 17 4
1515 Whoa! That meteor hitting the earth story is your scariest one yet. 1.2066 0.04052 121 98 21 2
1516 We need to invent marshmallows for nights like this 1.2066 0.04682 121 102 13 6
1517 Get it? This is the last face you'll see. 1.2066 0.04682 121 102 13 6
1518 And this is the story of Humannosaurus Wrecks. 1.2066 0.04827 121 103 11 7
1519 Then the human said, "Mumm it tastes just like chicken". 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
1520 And then I saw a human! 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
1521 Check out my Donald Trump impersonation. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
1522 Found this new teeth whitening cream made 'specially for dragons. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
1523 Yeah,but no, wait… Can you hear me now? 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
1524 Suddenly, a human child’s face appears from ABOVE the bed! 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
1525 But greater than the fear that made their blood run hot was the fear they would be shamed on social media. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
1526 Told you not to eat the dermatologist! 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
1527 This is one of the reasons she broke up with you. 1.2065 0.05687 92 79 7 6
1528 Oh puh-lease! That gag is prehistoric… 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
1529 Tell me more terrifying human stories dad! 1.2062 0.05271 97 82 10 5
1530 Helen! It’s me—Murray. 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
1531 I think we've finally found a way to look scary. 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
1532 Yes yes, the Invisalign works so well, it IS scary. 1.2061 0.04562 131 111 13 7
1533 George was no saint. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1534 And then they put me in Jurassic Park. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1535 Don't worry. We can roast marshmallows even if the fire goes out. 1.2059 0.05276 102 87 9 6
1536 …ad then we were all transformed into oil that bipedal monkeys used to cook the planet! 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1537 We're BOTH dragons, remember? 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1538 And then out of nowhere came this meteor. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
1539 Then, after the meteor struck the world was taken over by two legged mammals who tried to destroy what was left!" 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1540 And then KaaaaPOW! We were all replaced by little bipeds with hideous loooong arms. 1.2056 0.04739 107 89 14 4
1541 We should probably put out the fire as we are the last of our kind, don't ya think ?? 1.2056 0.04739 107 89 14 4
1542 Not to be rude, but can you see if I have some of that ichthyologist stuck between my teeth? 1.2056 0.04739 107 89 14 4
1543 Don't kid yourself. It gives a fiercely brighter smile. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
1544 He was a hardworking immigrant — they took one look and ran screaming, ‘Ahhhh, it’s Godzilla!’ 1.2054 0.04419 112 92 17 3
1545 ...and then the meteors rained down everywhere! 1.2054 0.04419 112 92 17 3
1546 Once upon a time,there was a meteor 1.2051 0.04298 117 96 18 3
1547 Aging feet are a bitch. 1.2051 0.04298 117 96 18 3
1548 Quit goofing off! If those batteries go dead we'll see who's scared! 1.2051 0.04298 117 96 18 3
1549 Why did you name it, “Flashlight?” 1.2051 0.04629 117 98 14 5
1550 …George Martin quit writing and nobody ever worked again 1.2051 0.04629 117 98 14 5
1551 As the smoke cleared, the terrible face appeared. It was the Master Dragon Slayer- GEORGE SANTOS! 1.2049 0.04346 122 101 17 4
1552 It was a knight a lot like this knight... 1.2049 0.04499 122 102 15 5
1553 No, you're thinking of The Blair Witch Project. Bruce Willis was in the The Sixth Sense. 1.2047 0.04519 127 107 14 6
1554 Be honest. Do I look scary or just silly? 1.2047 0.04233 127 105 18 4
1555 I thought we discovered light until I found this thing. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
1556 You mean you prefer our old mating ritual? 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
1557 So is this the glamping part of the trip? 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
1558 Fred, you don’t need the flashlight to look scary: You’re a dragon. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
1559 Don't, please. You look too much like yourself. 1.2041 0.05222 98 83 10 5
1560 He did the mash. He did the... 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
1561 I think you had one too many roasted peasants. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
1562 Hunter-Gatherer Stories! 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
1563 What are batteries ? 1.2041 0.05222 98 83 10 5
1564 Oh relax, it's just a helicopter. 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
1565 I don’t know the end of the story. This is when I ate him. 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
1566 Bad lighting, the scariest thing of all. 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
1567 Hands on the wheel!” yelled the police officer. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
1568 THAT vegetarian meal was delish! Any bones stuck in my teeth? 1.2039 0.05407 103 89 7 7
1569 This story's called "The very scary meteorite". 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
1570 And then a big rock hit the planet and wiped us all out. 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
1571 Fire, schmire, I still think they taste better raw. 1.2039 0.05228 103 88 9 6
1572 Stop joking around, there's an asteroid coming! 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
1573 "Am I the light of your life? 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
1574 And then they chose an orange to be their leader. 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
1575 You just farted, didn't you. 1.2037 0.04699 108 90 14 4
1576 And then, the monster turned out to be a... meteor! 1.2037 0.04699 108 90 14 4
1577 And when they do this, that's when you jump out of the bushes! 1.2037 0.04511 108 89 16 3
1578 But Democrats, upon learning the Republicans had nominated Trump once again, realized they no choice but to vote for Biden. 1.2037 0.04880 108 91 12 5
1579 The next day, they found the Tokyo Tower hanging on the car door! 1.2037 0.04511 108 89 16 3
1580 Whoa! That's even scarier than your Madonna impression. 1.2035 0.04199 113 92 19 2
1581 It is just not quite the same as when we breathed fire to scare them. 1.2035 0.04730 113 95 13 5
1582 But this move had that gorilla climbing the wall. 1.2035 0.04560 113 94 15 4
1583 …and one day…they will use our dead bodies… as fuel 1.2035 0.04730 113 95 13 5
1584 And they say that if you listen closely on a night just like tonight, you can still hear the sobs of parents who named their children Daenerys. 1.2035 0.04560 113 94 15 4
1585 This is what that scary kid looked like before I ate him. 1.2034 0.04432 118 98 16 4
1586 And after taking a bite of the human, he realized it was... a VEGAN! 1.2034 0.04432 118 98 16 4
1587 Your fossil fuel got nothin' on my long-lasting battery-powered flashlight. 1.2034 0.04593 118 99 14 5
1588 And then she found out the calls were coming from inside the house! 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
1589 Tell me another story, Puff! 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
1590 And then, they won’t even catch their food. They get groceries. 1.2021 0.05574 94 81 7 6
1591 Suddenly he realized his arms were too short to lift the carcass! 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
1592 Just relax you are adorable.” 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
1593 I don't know what was scarier, your ghost story or your people story. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
1594 And then, Karen demanded to speak to ... a manager! 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
1595 Eh, I don’t know if I believe that asteroid dust would change the global climate. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
1596 For starters, there are these things called humans … 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
1597 Do you know the origin story of that aggressive T-Rex in Jurassic Park? Well, I’ll tell you the tea. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
1598 Where did you get that thing? You know, it doesn't make you look any better. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
1599 No more puffing the magic dragon. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
1600 Save your breath! 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
1601 ...and then the meteors came down. 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
1602 And then they smile and laugh... LIKE THIS! 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
1603 Three Mesozoics walk into a bar".. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
1604 It’s funny but I don’t think this will be a successful invention because it’s just light, it doesn’t get warm and you can’t use it for barbecue… 1.2019 0.04998 104 88 11 5
1605 And then, an asteroid hit Earth. 1.2018 0.03862 109 87 22 0
1606 Don’t you think it’s time we evolve into something better. 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
1607 Now that’s scary! 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
1608 It was a dark and stormy night. High above, a giant asteroid silently approached the Earth... 1.2018 0.04839 109 92 12 5
1609 It's a gimmick Reg. Had it on for three hours last night and my Pterodactyl was still raw. 1.2018 0.04280 109 89 18 2
1610 And then Britain was taken over by inbred humans! WoooooOooooh! 1.2018 0.04280 109 89 18 2
1611 Let me know if you've heard this one before. Once there was a spoiled despot named Vladimir Putin . . . 1.2018 0.04839 109 92 12 5
1612 What's really scary, is you always burning the Smores. 1.2018 0.04474 109 90 16 3
1613 Wanna hear the one about the little boy under the bed? 1.2018 0.04839 109 92 12 5
1614 And then they were caught between a rock and a hard place… 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
1615 I still think we need bear spray. 1.2018 0.04076 109 88 20 1
1616 I call it a ‘Chin Illuminator’. 1.2018 0.04692 114 96 13 5
1617 In the year 65,000,000 1.2018 0.04166 114 93 19 2
1618 And then the wild things roared their multi-syllabic roars, and gnashed their pale teeth and rolled their bespectacled eyes and showed their opposable thumbs 1.2017 0.04557 119 100 14 5
1619 And then, the humans had to RETURN TO THE OFFICE!! 1.2016 0.04126 124 102 19 3
1620 That's it? A big rock out of the Sky? 1.2016 0.03794 124 100 23 1
1621 I can’t believe you forgot the marshmallows! 1.2015 0.04208 134 112 17 5
1622 And they called him… Donald Trump! Bwaahahaha…. 1.2000 0.04043 110 89 20 1
1623 Here's a story about global warming. 1.2000 0.05125 100 85 10 5
1624 So, next time you look up at the night sky, don't wish for shooting stars -- you might get something far more dangerous! 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
1625 Look, I'm a shadow puppet. 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
1626 … and he had a powerful roar and terrifying teeth, but oddly, tiny hands on short little arms. 1.2000 0.04924 100 84 12 4
1627 Before I grabbed him, they thought this was scary! 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
1628 A chill ran up my tail: it was Smokey the Bear himself. 1.2000 0.04487 115 96 15 4
1629 And then something moved ON TOP OF THE BED. 1.2000 0.04621 110 92 14 4
1630 Do I have anything in my teeth? 1.2000 0.04487 115 96 15 4
1631 Put out that damn light, you'll draw attention to us! 1.2000 0.04924 100 84 12 4
1632 But then, Tokyo launched their fighter jets and drove Godzilla back into the sea! 1.2000 0.04621 110 92 14 4
1633 And then this horrible monster with orange skin and yellow hair emerged from the woods... 1.2000 0.05125 100 85 10 5
1634 Yup, your lipstick is smudged, I'll call make-up. 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
1635 Suddenly, there was a huge explosion... and the designated survivor was all alone 1.2000 0.04621 110 92 14 4
1636 It’s just me. There are no monsters here! 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
1637 How many chins do I have? 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
1638 …and then the Human smiled an evil smile. 1.2000 0.04621 110 92 14 4
1639 And then this God told the new hairy-creatures that they could rule over all the earth and its creatures! 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
1640 This is my Geroge Santos face! 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
1641 So, millions of years after the asteroid kills all of us, using us as fossil fuels, kills all living things once again, the circle of death. 1.2000 0.05125 100 85 10 5
1642 ...and then suddenly this big rock from the sky came crashing down! 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
1643 You have a cavity, upper right. 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
1644 You eat the campers and all their stuff but keep their flashlight,every time.....I just don't get it is all. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
1645 Well, this is SCARRYOKE ! 1.2000 0.04924 100 84 12 4
1646 And then, they rebooted Jurassic Park with Chris PRATT! 1.2000 0.05481 105 92 5 8
1647 ''Suddenly, a huge ball of fire appeared in the sky, and started plummeting toward earth...'' 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
1648 Why do you do that when you know it scares the crap out of me. 1.2000 0.04314 115 95 17 3
1649 Well, if you can get that thing to also give us some heat, I’ll consider going green. 1.2000 0.03945 115 93 21 1
1650 Which way is it to Yellowstone? 1.2000 0.04522 120 101 14 5
1651 You’re a shoo in for Pitch Perfect the Prehistoric version! 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
1652 Give it up already. You’re just not a scary dinosaur. 1.2000 0.05125 100 85 10 5
1653 Heck, you need a mask. 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
1654 And then suddenly, out of nowhere came this asteroid! 1.2000 0.04364 120 100 16 4
1655 I just think you were scarier with the braces. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
1656 Three guys walk into a bar ... 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
1657 Nope. I don't see a speck of triceratops in your teeth. 1.2000 0.04364 105 86 17 2
1658 Who says that everyone dies in the paleolithic era? 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
1659 'All right Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my closeup.' 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
1660 'You must buy more cookies!' she shrieked.'" 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
1661 It’s called the SpaceX Dragon Spacecraft”….. “wait, can you remind me what we identify as again? 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
1662 I’ve been whitening my teeth - can you tell? 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
1663 And her remains were reincarnated as a relatively inefficient fuel for small motor powered vehicles 1.2000 0.05136 105 90 9 6
1664 Don't be afraid," the bigger human told the small one. "Dinosaurs are extinct! 1.1985 0.04115 131 109 18 4
1665 Turn off that light, Harold. Sasquatch might see us. 1.1984 0.04367 126 106 15 5
1666 Turn it off, Reggie, it does nothing to soften your ugliness! 1.1983 0.04487 121 102 14 5
1667 MAGA! 1.1983 0.04638 121 103 12 6
1668 I don't know what a car is either, Doris. But just go with me on this. 'The couple is in the car parked in the dark forest and they hear three taps on the roof....' 1.1983 0.04331 121 101 16 4
1669 Can you cook with that? 1.1983 0.04487 121 102 14 5
1670 Does it make me look human" 1.1983 0.04280 116 96 17 3
1671 But instead of a claw… it was a human hand! 1.1983 0.04452 116 97 15 4
1672 In about 65 million years, this will scare the socks off you. 1.1983 0.04617 116 98 13 5
1673 And then...a ball of fire SMASHES into the earth, wiping us out! 1.1982 0.04582 111 93 14 4
1674 Turn off that light. They say it attracts asteroids. 1.1982 0.04400 111 92 16 3
1675 Let’s light up 1.1982 0.04210 111 91 18 2
1676 I still don't know why they do this. 1.1982 0.04582 111 93 14 4
1677 The ice caps started to melt and then… MICROPLASTICS!” 1.1982 0.04400 111 92 16 3
1678 I wanted to make sure you wouldn't be scared Darling ,it’s only me! 1.1982 0.04210 111 91 18 2
1679 A giant meteor? Really? 1.1982 0.04400 111 92 16 3
1680 That will never work, it doesn't even keep you warm. 1.1982 0.04400 111 92 16 3
1681 And the humans went “ka-Putin” 1.1981 0.04327 106 87 17 2
1682 I see you've whitened your teeth. 1.1981 0.04724 106 89 13 4
1683 And hiding under the bed it was…an herbivore! 1.1981 0.04530 106 88 15 3
1684 So that’s why there were no humans on the Ark? 1.1981 0.04724 106 89 13 4
1685 What kind of predator are you most afraid of? 1.1981 0.04530 106 88 15 3
1686 To think I used to only date fire breathers. 1.1981 0.04114 106 86 19 1
1687 Once upon a time there was an asteroid far, far away. 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
1688 Ha! You can't scare the sh* t out of me using the same trick I pulled on you. 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
1689 Not serious enough you'll need to tone it down to scare Capt. Kirk tomorrow. 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
1690 Not as scary as the 55-gallon drum with my name on it. 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
1691 And then the astroid crashed down and wiped everyone out. 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
1692 ...and the vicious killer introduced himself politely as Sir Gallahad. 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
1693 That's so fire. Drop that mic. 1.1979 0.04088 96 77 19 0
1694 It's skin was smooth and warm to the touch... 1.1979 0.04348 96 78 17 1
1695 That guy on the trail? He showed me this cool trick before I ate him. 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
1696 I too am missing my old flame. 1.1979 0.05048 96 81 11 4
1697 And the fossils belonged to … Uncle Ted. 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
1698 Does this flashlight make my face look scary? 1.1979 0.05048 96 81 11 4
1699 ...and the kid knew I was under the bed. 1.1979 0.05048 96 81 11 4
1700 Hang on, torches don’t get invented for another one hundred and fifty thousand years yet! 1.1978 0.05234 91 77 10 4
1701 And then these wicked sapiens invented something called a dungeon 1.1970 0.04360 132 112 14 6
1702 And they call it 'evolution.' 1.1969 0.04189 127 106 17 4
1703 Is this better . . . or just cunningly scary? 1.1967 0.04138 122 101 18 3
1704 Humans? They look like Theeees! 1.1967 0.03971 122 100 20 2
1705 Yes, exactly like that girl on tik tok! 1.1966 0.04581 117 99 13 5
1706 Use this. It won't freak them out as much. 1.1964 0.04718 112 95 12 5
1707 It was a dark and stormy epoch” 1.1964 0.04545 112 94 14 4
1708 We're all gonna die, and won't even get credit for fire. 1.1964 0.04545 112 94 14 4
1709 Put another log on the fire dollface, then fetch my slippers for these six frozen toes. 1.1964 0.04545 112 94 14 4
1710 That's cute, but I'd rather have marshmallows. 1.1963 0.04491 107 89 15 3
1711 First I'll warm up with some scales. 1.1963 0.04683 107 90 13 4
1712 You better floss - you have a dental appointment Monday morning 1.1963 0.04290 107 88 17 2
1713 Does it make me look prettier? 1.1963 0.04290 107 88 17 2
1714 It was on sale at tyrannosau "r" us 1.1963 0.04868 107 91 11 5
1715 Hee-hee. l'm a monster. 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
1716 We found the source of light! 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
1717 See in there? I want all those amalgam fillings out." 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
1718 It’s always a dinosaur. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
1719 Peace was in the valley and all the people were happy! 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
1720 The end... is near. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
1721 I love these snack bags, they always come with a cool toy surprise! 1.1961 0.05221 102 88 8 6
1722 …and their black, liquified remains were burned to make energy for an insatiable species called ‘humans.’ 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
1723 And out of nothing... a Meteor! 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
1724 Dental implants were once only for the wealthy. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
1725 We are definitely staying up to watch shooting sta…. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
1726 The fire, the moonlight, looking into your eyes….I lost myself. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
1727 I like the 'milk through your nose' trick better. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
1728 This is my good side. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
1729 No scary story- I'm just here for the s'mores. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
1730 It's only climate change, nothing to worry about 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
1731 Ok take it quick- I’m ready for my selfie! 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
1732 You think that's scary? Have you looked at your toenails lately?" 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
1733 I got a clear look when you started the fire. 1.1949 0.04214 118 98 17 3
1734 Yes, you’re scary. Now put the flashlight down. All I wanted was one night without the kid crap” 1.1947 0.04680 113 96 12 5
1735 And they were all out of tacos 1.1947 0.04329 113 94 16 3
1736 No more scary stories about evil knights. 1.1944 0.04643 108 91 13 4
1737 You're wasting the battery. 1.1944 0.04046 108 88 19 1
1738 but still, the meteor came closer & closer....... 1.1944 0.04254 108 89 17 2
1739 ...and then, we suddenly disappeared! 1.1944 0.04643 108 91 13 4
1740 Dad,stop it; you look like a scary human!!! 1.1944 0.04453 108 90 15 3
1741 There was no escape . . . from the children under the bed. 1.1942 0.04791 103 87 12 4
1742 Do you see anything in my teeth? 1.1942 0.04588 103 86 14 3
1743 Stop it. You'll scare the kids. 1.1942 0.04791 103 87 12 4
1744 Yes, there's a small chunk of Iguanodon next to the incisor. 1.1942 0.04153 103 84 18 1
1745 If only you could breathe fire ... that would really be scary! 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
1746 stop it... Big Foot isn't real 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
1747 When you tell that story about the asteroid, it frightens the living daylights out of me 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
1748 Oh, what big teeth you have, grandma! 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
1749 Nice. Did you get fluoride too? 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
1750 And after he left for LaBrea, we never heard from Uncle Rex again. 1.1939 0.04508 98 81 15 2
1751 And then Rex said, Let there be light! 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
1752 I said find a left handed flashlight. 1.1939 0.04268 98 80 17 1
1753 And they’re called… FIREMEN! 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
1754 Nothing in biology makes sense except in the flashlight of evolution. 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
1755 You should brush your teeth, Fred. 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
1756 Whazzzzup 1.1938 0.03825 129 106 21 2
1757 TRY to set the night on fire? 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
1758 You look just like my first wife without her makeup. 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
1759 Suddenly, the evil creature was in front of her, with sharp little teeth and a glowing hand weapon, saying "Honey, I can't get a signal!!!" 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
1760 It was a dark and gloomy night…. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
1761 They say Beowulf still walks these woods. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
1762 Hey! This is my Film Noir look. What do you think!? 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
1763 Then the child looked under the bed and screamed! 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
1764 My favorite is when they've just eaten s'mores! 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
1765 When the smoke had cleared, the forrest was filled with warm-blooded, furry mammals! 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
1766 ...and then suddenly, from behind a tree...SAINT GEORGE!!! 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
1767 ...and then they developed the opposable thumb! And that's when the trouble started. 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
1768 ...and then HUMANS roamed the earth. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
1769 The Future Looks Bright 1.1933 0.04349 119 100 15 4
1770 In the trail mix he found not chocolate, but dried cranberries. 1.1933 0.04665 119 102 11 6
1771 And they made them work and pay taxes forever! 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
1772 My god, you do sound like Dina Shore! 1.1932 0.05566 88 76 7 5
1773 Then they dug up all that was left of Edwin, reconstructed his petrified bones in a life-like position and mounted him for public display in the Academy of Sciences! 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
1774 I lost an arm in the tussle but I got his flashlight! 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
1775 OOOOOOO, that's spooky! 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
1776 Is there some of him between my teeth? 1.1930 0.04294 114 95 16 3
1777 Then the human smiled with its crazy bleached-white teeth at the big friendly dragon. 1.1930 0.04642 114 97 12 5
1778 And then the knight named George stopped the good dragon from eating the maiden. 1.1930 0.04294 114 95 16 3
1779 …and their skin is metal and they carry swords 1.1930 0.04109 114 94 18 2
1780 … and this is the story of how i met your Karen 1.1930 0.04471 114 96 14 4
1781 Welcome to Jurassic Park! 1.1927 0.04785 109 93 11 5
1782 Even humans don’t find that scary anymore 1.1927 0.04959 109 94 9 6
1783 I'm not sure about your advice of "Let bygones be bygones". 1.1927 0.04219 109 90 17 2
1784 And then we looked up and saw a meteor in the sky... 1.1927 0.04219 109 90 17 2
1785 There’s no Triceratops in your teeth, but you’re freaking me out. Put that thing down! 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
1786 As night fell, the hideous creature ate a sensible meal, read its book, and turned in early. 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
1787 Where are you going to get batteries for that thing? 1.1927 0.04604 109 92 13 4
1788 so... you invented the fire and the flashlight at the same time? 1.1923 0.04749 104 88 12 4
1789 Do I have any campers in my teeth? 1.1923 0.04749 104 88 12 4
1790 That's not scary. Your breath is scary. 1.1923 0.04749 104 88 12 4
1791 Thank you for trusting me with this. 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
1792 Does this make me look like a human? 1.1923 0.04338 104 86 16 2
1793 And then the little boy helped the old lady cross the street, squeezing her hand. And then she said "thank you!" 1.1923 0.04338 104 86 16 2
1794 Niagara Falls!!! Slowly I turned … 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
1795 [No caption needed, it’s hilarious just on its own] 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
1796 And then 231 million years after the meteor…..the Neanderthal’s descendants dig up our bones for display in museums. Would you like an ice cream now..? 1.1923 0.05127 104 90 8 6
1797 And if you say asteroid three times… 1.1923 0.04338 104 86 16 2
1798 Hey, remember how that first kid we ate was doing this? 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
1799 It was a dark and asteroidy night ... 1.1923 0.04941 104 89 10 5
1800 Just think, but for the asteroid missing the planet, our species might never have evolved! 1.1923 0.04749 104 88 12 4
1801 ... and the devilish human condemned the poor dragon to spit fire when speaking ever after! 1.1920 0.03885 125 103 20 2
1802 See for yourself, whiteners work wonders. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
1803 In 2 million years we’ll recharge these batteries 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
1804 You don’t look like my dad…. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
1805 I think battery power will replace fossil fuels in 300 million years--what say you? 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
1806 Are you trying to seduce me? 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
1807 'And then a meteorite struck and vaporized everyone's latte.' 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
1808 Thanks for lighting my fire. 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
1809 Campfire stories aren't scary when you're the monster. 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
1810 Boo! I'm a homo sapien! 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
1811 Hey man, you gotta stop drinking. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
1812 …and then she said Dracarys!” 😬 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
1813 Are you scared yet? 1.1913 0.04077 115 95 18 2
1814 It got very quiet. And then a giant ball of fire ...... 1.1913 0.04435 115 97 14 4
1815 Once upon a time, a very long time ago, there was a little man about five feet high, who brought us fire" 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
1816 And then he went like this. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
1817 And then they increased their military budget… again! 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
1818 That's stupid, no one sleeps on TOP of the bed! 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
1819 Very amusing. Yeh, you have his flashlight but you didn't save me any Boy Scout! 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
1820 And they they grind up your bones to make jet fuel! 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
1821 I see dead species. 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
1822 For when you run out out of fossil fuel, bro! 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
1823 ...And we'll be extinct, brouhahaha 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
1824 Pity it’s gonna take another 66 million years before they invent the battery… 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
1825 And under the bed,there was an ant! 1.1909 0.04745 110 94 11 5
1826 And there was a big flash of light and, suddenly, there was nothing but little rodents running everywhere! 1.1909 0.04745 110 94 11 5
1827 You’re right-it does bring out your inner reptile. 1.1909 0.03980 110 90 19 1
1828 And that's how peanut butter was invented. 1.1909 0.04745 110 94 11 5
1829 And then it got very very cold… 1.1909 0.04379 110 92 15 3
1830 And then the Saudis promised to give Bush petroleum... 1.1909 0.04184 110 91 17 2
1831 And then I used the principles of quantum physics coupled with Maxwell's Laws to get... Viola! 1.1908 0.04350 131 112 13 6
1832 … and then a giant asteroid will hit the earth! 1.1908 0.04213 131 111 15 5
1833 No. You don't look like Barney. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
1834 There will be a big comet 1.1905 0.04707 105 89 12 4
1835 You’re wasting the batteries. 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
1836 When humans invent that, I don't know if they'll use it for telling spooky stories. 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
1837 Terrifying, sure — but not very flattering. 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
1838 And then suddenly Godzilla is standing in front of me and says, you call yourself a dragon? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
1839 And I said, no thanks, no Girl Scout cookies today. 1.1901 0.04118 121 101 17 3
1840 I love spending these intimate moments with you 1.1901 0.03948 121 100 19 2
1841 Yes, uplighting really accentuates your dimples. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
1842 And then the evil knight approached the sweet, sleeping, dragon... 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
1843 Dad, tell me again how they'll dig up my bones and put them in a museum which people can only see after paying some exorbitant fee unless they plan their visit sometime between 6 and 9pm every other Wednesday, in which case it's free. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
1844 And then there was a big bang! 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
1845 …on their eyes were dark glass shields, on their backs—bulging packs, one red, one green, the soles of their feet, raked with ridges of rubber… 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
1846 He was doing this before I ate him. What do you think? Am I scary? 1.1897 0.04226 116 97 16 3
1847 You thought the story about the asteroid was scary, this next one’s about the hominids. 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
1848 This little light of mine,I'm gonna let it shine 1.1895 0.05030 95 81 10 4
1849 Then Puff went poof! 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
1850 You never exfoliate? 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
1851 His name was George, Saint George, and he had this really long lance . . . 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
1852 . . then the Girl Scouts dug up his bones - just to get a merit badge! 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
1853 You want a spooky story? Once upon a time two legged animals called humans took over the earth, 8 billion of them, and they burned the forests, and wrecked the planet! Thank goodness it's only a story. 1.1892 0.04876 111 96 9 6
1854 So then, he picks up his flash light to make a scary face like this, but it was actually his Light Sabre. That was one tasty, dumb Jedi." 1.1892 0.04343 111 93 15 3
1855 Just wait, man will claim credit for this too. 1.1892 0.03948 111 91 19 1
1856 It’s a good idea but how do you dispose of the batteries? 1.1892 0.04705 111 95 11 5
1857 And then a man with a long, red tie emerged from the shadows! 1.1892 0.04527 111 94 13 4
1858 I really don’t want to hear another comet ghost story Phil. 1.1892 0.04527 111 94 13 4
1859 See where I burned my tongue lighting the fire? 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
1860 Sorry, but I heard that story eons ago 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
1861 OK, it's funny. But somehow I don't think that's worth the boy scout you just ate. 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
1862 No, you don’t get it. The up lighting is the most important part. 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
1863 And those s'mores-eating creatures return every summer. 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
1864 and then he sang 'Barney is dinosaur from our imagination!' 1.1887 0.04665 106 90 12 4
1865 The future is electric 1.1887 0.04665 106 90 12 4
1866 Please, not another killer-comet story! 1.1887 0.04854 106 91 10 5
1867 And then the meteor came and crashed into earth! 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
1868 ...and the clanking of the Knight's armour was coming from......inside the cave!!! 1.1887 0.04665 106 90 12 4
1869 What the Devil is that? 1.1887 0.04263 106 88 16 2
1870 And they tried to remake it… with MATTHEW BRODERICK! 1.1887 0.05036 106 92 8 6
1871 And then the knight fled in terror when he realized MY tokens are all fungible! 1.1885 0.04407 122 104 13 5
1872 This thing is defective. There's no fire! 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
1873 I dropped my phone in the fire. No more pics today. 1.1882 0.05422 85 73 8 4
1874 See, Hunter-gatherers stick to your gut, not to your teeth! 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
1875 I got this from the time machine 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
1876 Controversial Smithsothian Diorama Exhibit 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
1877 Look at me! No heat! 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
1878 Stop! You’ll make me laugh up a camper! 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
1879 Hey,look,my are not too short! 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
1880 You silly dragon! We already breathe fire! 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
1881 Can you come look at this? I’ve noticed a wart I’ve never seen before. 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
1882 How often do you get scaling done? 1.1880 0.04531 117 100 12 5
1883 Then came the meteor. And that’s what put the die in dinosaur. 1.1875 0.04756 96 81 12 3
1884 Let's skip the ghost stories and discuss how this planet will eventually be ghosting us out of evolution. 1.1875 0.04270 96 79 16 1
1885 I’m really turned on right now. 1.1875 0.04756 96 81 12 3
1886 Whoa! You look like a kid. 1.1875 0.04519 96 80 14 2
1887 I really don't need to see the remnants of that poor camper in your teeth. 1.1875 0.04307 112 94 15 3
1888 ...and then you're in a movie with Jeff Goldblum... 1.1875 0.03961 128 107 18 3
1889 Well, it’s better than putting your chin in the fire.? 1.1875 0.04756 96 81 12 3
1890 OK I flossed. Do you see any bone fragments or human hair ? 1.1875 0.04519 96 80 14 2
1891 And after the big ball of fire hits we all become birds and little furry critters take over! Boo! 1.1875 0.04999 112 98 7 7
1892 It's got what we need, collagen. 1.1875 0.04307 112 94 15 3
1893 And then they called Godzilla a vegan! 1.1875 0.04756 96 81 12 3
1894 Once upon a time in a land called Honah Lee... 1.1875 0.04307 112 94 15 3
1895 One of the critters was doing this when they caught my attention. 1.1869 0.04430 107 90 14 3
1896 If you think that’s scary, watch me fart over the flames. 1.1869 0.04812 107 92 10 5
1897 Geez Zorn, you look scary enough without doing that! 1.1869 0.04430 107 90 14 3
1898 You’ve never looked so beautiful in your life. 1.1869 0.04625 107 91 12 4
1899 Smile, you're gonna be extinct. 1.1869 0.04013 107 88 18 1
1900 I'm just trying to figure out here what actually is "hellbent destruction" these days. 1.1869 0.04227 107 89 16 2
1901 Do I still have any of that camper in my teeth? 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
1902 And the meteor looked like THIS! 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
1903 You're always so dragon-centric. 1.1868 0.04108 91 74 17 0
1904 This is a lot more fun than fire and it doesn't burn! 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
1905 In a million years we'll be the star of our own movie. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
1906 It was...warm-blooded. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
1907 Then he said, "The asteroid is coming from INSIDE your solar system." 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
1908 Stop it, Gragnor, you're scaring me! You look like a human! 1.1864 0.03983 118 98 18 2
1909 ...and out of the shadows came KING KONG 1.1863 0.04772 102 87 11 4
1910 And he was doing this right before I ate them. Do I seem scary? 1.1863 0.04346 102 85 15 2
1911 Do I have human stuck in my teeth? 1.1863 0.04971 102 88 9 5
1912 You look extinct! 1.1863 0.04971 102 88 9 5
1913 Let's elope. I no longer have cold feet. 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
1914 I found out what's inside little kids. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
1915 Put that down, it probably has germs. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
1916 Can you check - I think I have a Girl Scout badge stuck in my teeth? 1.1860 0.05612 86 75 6 5
1917 He was a human all along! 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
1918 .......Clark Gable......or King Kong? 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
1919 Do I resemble my profile pic now? 1.1860 0.05612 86 75 6 5
1920 With fire, why do we need a flashlight. 1.1858 0.04272 113 95 15 3
1921 Do you love my new scales? I feel really hot! 1.1858 0.04272 113 95 15 3
1922 It's always about you and your dentist! 1.1858 0.04627 113 97 11 5
1923 It was a dark and stormy night, without a single meteor in sight, when suddenly, blazing across the sky .... 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
1924 We wouldn’t be extinct if we invented this! 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
1925 Do I have any sleeping bag in my teeth? 1.1856 0.04933 97 83 10 4
1926 And it was a city made of Legos! 1.1856 0.04230 97 80 16 1
1927 Almost as scary as the fire. 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
1928 Don't worry though, the meteorite strikes in the western hemisphere, so it won't affect us here. 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
1929 I guess princes these days aren’t what they used to be. 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
1930 Prehistoric selfie 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
1931 Yes! we invented flashlight 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
1932 It was a dark and stormy night a one armed man had just escaped from prison! 1.1856 0.04933 97 83 10 4
1933 . . . and they lived happily ever after . . . 1.1855 0.04489 124 107 11 6
1934 And then they made a film even worse than the first three… 1.1852 0.04585 108 92 12 4
1935 A toast to our toastie tootsies. 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
1936 But the call was coming from on top of the bed! 1.1852 0.04191 108 90 16 2
1937 Look Bob.......I'm Puff the Magic Dragon! 1.1852 0.04585 108 92 12 4
1938 you're right. you're not as scary with the light on! 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
1939 Try this with your stupid fire!! 1.1852 0.04948 108 94 8 6
1940 What are marshmallows ? 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
1941 I found a smile..and it's just FOR YOU!! 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
1942 The dragon carried the princess to his lair, but she left him for a hedge fund guy. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
1943 And then he says "Hi, I'm David and I'll be your server." 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
1944 .... and then there was an asteroid! 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
1945 Is Fred flintstone stuck in my teeth? 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
1946 That comet story was really scary Rex. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
1947 In the Year Two Thousand 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
1948 Then suddenly, Japan started quantitative easing, plummeting gold futures worldwide ... 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
1949 Felix, maybe if the peasants see me smiling they'll like me better. What do you think?" 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
1950 Honey, you are such a dork... 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
1951 Frankly, I am getting tired of you forgetting the marshmallows and thinking that scaring me will make me forget your failure. 1.1845 0.04729 103 88 11 4
1952 Don't! I'll have nightmares! 1.1845 0.04081 103 85 17 1
1953 But Bilbo isn't real, right? 1.1845 0.04729 103 88 11 4
1954 Stop scaring me! 1.1842 0.04417 114 97 13 4
1955 And they will make jokes asking why we crossed the road! 1.1842 0.04050 114 95 17 2
1956 And he was never seen again. Well, I saw him. I ate him. 1.1842 0.04238 114 96 15 3
1957 It gives me a good idea of how you'll look in 60 million years. 1.1840 0.04156 125 106 15 4
1958 Now that we've lost our dungeons, we have to scare each other! 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
1959 Get a load of these pearly whites! I'm telling you, every firebreather should use my new toothpaste. 1.1839 0.05305 87 75 8 4
1960 And the mosquito will be preserved in amber! 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
1961 He was holding the flashlight just like this telling stories to his buddies when I got ‘em! 1.1839 0.05305 87 75 8 4
1962 So long as the batteries are good, the raptors will stay away. 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
1963 When the anthropologist took out his camera, I gave him a snort of fire and you should have seen him run. He dropped his flashlight. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
1964 Ewww..David! You almost look human. Gross! 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
1965 You're scaring me, you look like a human! 1.1837 0.04191 98 81 16 1
1966 You were already scary 1.1837 0.04191 98 81 16 1
1967 And then the ghost appeared. It did not have any scales but was covered in FUR. 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
1968 And the Teacher says, "I'm giving the final exam today, NOT next week." 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
1969 It was a dark and stormy night. . . . 1.1837 0.05299 98 86 6 6
1970 It was the night before the great meteor.... 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
1971 And that's the way it was, June 14th, 67 million years ago. 1.1837 0.04191 98 81 16 1
1972 Be careful, this story is petrifying! 1.1837 0.04886 98 84 10 4
1973 They're called mammals and have hair all over their bodies.... 1.1837 0.03932 98 80 18 0
1974 That’s not what I meant when I told you to torch it… 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
1975 Goodnight moon. Goodnight trees. Goodnight asteroid. 1.1835 0.04355 109 92 14 3
1976 And her name was Karen... 1.1835 0.04729 109 94 10 5
1977 Darn, still there, I even flossed. 1.1835 0.03946 109 90 18 1
1978 ...and the next morning....just as the wizard had predicted....the dragon had no fire in his mouth!...and it never came back. 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
1979 Oh Harry, you are handsome in any light. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
1980 Do I look scary? 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
1981 Remember the old days before we had fire... 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
1982 That's one heck of a cavity you have there, Hal. 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
1983 Once upon a time, there was a glacier. 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
1984 Ooooo,good one. Now say “here’s Johnny! 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
1985 You see I told you it was good for something! 1.1828 0.05058 93 80 9 4
1986 C'mon Earl, not the damn asteroid story again 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
1987 But can you cook with it!?! 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
1988 And then some guy who calls himself George Santos got elected to Congress, 1.1828 0.05058 93 80 9 4
1989 Cute, but it doesn't change the fact that we're cold-blooded. 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
1990 Oh gee, thank god it missed 1.1828 0.04310 93 77 15 1
1991 OK, OK, you look like a meteorite. Why should that scare me? 1.1828 0.05058 93 80 9 4
1992 Nighty night. Don't let the asteroids bite. 1.1827 0.04270 104 87 15 2
1993 OMG, time for your dental cleaning. 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
1994 I still remember the time when I could fire-up and fume without criticism from anyone! 1.1827 0.04687 104 89 11 4
1995 And then it takes the AG so long to indict, HE RUNS AGAIN. 1.1827 0.04882 104 90 9 5
1996 And that’s the story of humans. 1.1826 0.04204 115 97 15 3
1997 His first name was King. And his last name was KONG! 1.1826 0.04204 115 97 15 3
1998 Nope, still not scary. 1.1825 0.03634 126 104 21 1
1999 And then, the asteroid came… 1.1818 0.03896 99 81 18 0
2000 And then he said, "I represent New York for the next two years, and you can't stop me!" 1.1818 0.04152 99 82 16 1
2001 When you said "Old time date night" - somehow I had something else in mind. 1.1818 0.04840 99 85 10 4
2002 It's not really making you any scarier looking. 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
2003 I know this because… I was that maniac! 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
2004 But your grandfather didn’t kill the big hairy ape so it’s still out there somewhere! 1.1818 0.05249 88 76 8 4
2005 See? You don't eat these! 1.1818 0.04121 110 92 16 2
2006 This is how our ancestors did it. 1.1818 0.04840 99 85 10 4
2007 Okay Mildred enough with the ghost stories… Let’s just sit back and watch the shooting stars, oh that’s a really really big one“ 1.1818 0.05048 99 86 8 5
2008 But they ignored the warnings and in less than 100 years they became extinct! 1.1818 0.05048 99 86 8 5
2009 Any bits of human stuck in my teeth? 1.1818 0.04121 110 92 16 2
2010 Do you think I should whiten my teeth? 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
2011 And then he said, ‘Do you want some catsup with that?’ 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
2012 Read my lips. I did not have sex with your sister. She just dropped off a cigar. 1.1818 0.04066 121 102 16 3
2013 And then, out of nowhere...an asteroid slammed into earth. 1.1818 0.03914 110 91 18 1
2014 Do I have s'mores stuck in my teeth? 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
2015 And just then, a giant moth saw the flashlight lighting up the forest . . ." 1.1818 0.04393 99 83 14 2
2016 And what should appear up in the sky but... an asteroid!!! ...Just kidding, asteroids aren't real." Andy Chen Mathieson, Los Angeles, Cali 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
2017 and then, out came a hideous scaly monster! 1.1818 0.03914 110 91 18 1
2018 You can't even tell I'm wearing braces, can you? 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
2019 Here's Johnny! 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
2020 What did the fox say??? 1.1818 0.04066 121 102 16 3
2021 one day our bones will fuel the world 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
2022 It is I, the Tooth Fairy, and I will be paid. 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
2023 So lemme tell you about this new filling I have, see it? You'll never believe it, but I had to blah, blah, blah.... 1.1818 0.04135 88 72 16 0
2024 Wow, that story is even more scary than the one about an asteroid hurtling towards earth 1.1818 0.04121 110 92 16 2
2025 Which is scarier, under my chin or above my head? 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
2026 Oooh, you look like your about to eat Cleveland! 1.1810 0.04645 105 90 11 4
2027 Meteor apocalypse tales before bed. 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
2028 Stop it Bronte. Smiles really freak me out. 1.1810 0.04645 105 90 11 4
2029 And they use the bones of little children like you to fuel their machines! 1.1810 0.04645 105 90 11 4
2030 - Which dinosaur likes rap music? - IDK, bro. - The velociRAPtor HAHAHAHA 1.1810 0.04838 105 91 9 5
2031 With all these balloons overhead nobody is scared of us anymore. 1.1810 0.04645 105 90 11 4
2032 Just then, a giant rock fell from the sky! 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
2033 and then, puff, he ended up in Honlea. 1.1810 0.04838 105 91 9 5
2034 No, the little boy isn't stuck between your teeth. 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
2035 Look! No Cavities. 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
2036 Our problem is that marshmallows won't be invented for another two million years. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
2037 I want you to see me in my best light. 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
2038 And then, in the woods that night they heard the clink of chain mail. It was St George and he was coming for THEM!!" 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
2039 Want to hear a scary story? 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
2040 Check out this new fire stick! Not as scary, but way easier on the mouth! 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
2041 Anyone else you carry a torch for? 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
2042 So I said to the guy , hey, want a light " 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
2043 Can you see a zit on my chin? 1.1809 0.05231 94 82 7 5
2044 Then suddenly, the clown's face appeared at the entrance of our cave. 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
2045 Don't know why they do this, but they are easier to find! 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
2046 And there was a bright light as the asteroid hit the earth 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
2047 Oh my gosh! You look just like one of the humans in the story when you do that! 1.1802 0.04283 111 94 14 3
2048 ...and someday, we'll all be gone, but we'll live on in an HBO spinoff series. 1.1802 0.04650 111 96 10 5
2049 Try to look more caring. 1.1802 0.04650 111 96 10 5
2050 And then St. George said… 1.1802 0.03665 111 91 20 0
2051 It’s daylight on a stick." Edith Birdsall, Houston, T 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
2052 And then, the small child leapt into the dragon's den with a nerf-gun! 1.1800 0.04579 100 85 12 3
2053 Yeah, that’s scary. Gotta trim those nose hairs. 1.1800 0.04579 100 85 12 3
2054 Hey Buddy, it’s about time to listen to your new generation’s amazing ideas. 1.1800 0.04795 100 86 10 4
2055 And then they burn your bones and use them to destroy the earth. 1.1800 0.04115 100 83 16 1
2056 And all they could find was our BONES! 1.1800 0.04579 100 85 12 3
2057 My teeth are my best asset. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2058 Then the hominids will come with their climate change and extinguish us. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
2059 Eghads, he looked 20 years younger on Tinder. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2060 And then the human jumped out and yelled surprise 1.1792 0.03743 106 87 19 0
2061 And then, his dead bones were strung up in the atrium of a museum! 1.1792 0.04795 106 92 9 5
2062 And now for some scary people stories... 1.1792 0.04196 106 89 15 2
2063 worth a thousand words 1.1792 0.04604 106 91 11 4
2064 And there, falling from the sky, was an asteroid! Ahhhh! Ha ha ha. Just kidding. 1.1792 0.03743 106 87 19 0
2065 And then the sprinklers went off! 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
2066 You're such a Diva -- Always hogging the limelight! 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
2067 … When mountains crumble to the sea There will still be you and me. 1.1789 0.04227 95 79 15 1
2068 Thinking about reclaiming nature from humans 1.1789 0.04227 95 79 15 1
2069 'Not 'That's amore' again, Dino' 1.1789 0.04959 95 82 9 4
2070 The counselor used this light on his face and yelled "Surprise!" to the campers,... right before I ate him. 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
2071 Then the poor little dinosaurs saw a hideous ball of fire in the sky ... it was getting bigger ... 1.1786 0.04054 112 94 16 2
2072 No, not scary enough. I wish there was a two legged soft skinned and delicious species we could terrorize. Maybe someday.... 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
2073 Stop that! It's terrifying! You look just like an 8-year-old human! 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
2074 Our appearance is too complex for the wall of a cave. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
2075 And then they screamed something about a big rock falling from the sky, but I'm sure it is nothing to worry about. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
2076 Yea Uncle Morty, that's really scary, but where are the 'smores you promised? 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
2077 This 'good.' Fossil fuels 'bad!' Understand? 1.1786 0.05399 84 73 7 4
2078 And then...they all evolved into — birds." 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
2079 Oh no, not the asteroid story! 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
2080 And then a huge asteroid crashed into the planet… 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
2081 And then a great fireball from the sky crashed into the earth and wiped us all out...Bwaaahaaahaaa! 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
2082 Let's do some karaoke while we're at it. Just for fun. 1.1782 0.04077 101 84 16 1
2083 Maybe scarier from the point of view of the guy you ate? 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
2084 Then out of nowhere a giant asteroid hit the earth. 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
2085 Come on man, stop scaring me! 1.1782 0.04077 101 84 16 1
2086 Stick with making fire. 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
2087 And then he said "'boo' who?" 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
2088 Hank, don’t! You know I have a thing about monsters in the night… 1.1778 0.05139 90 78 8 4
2089 I call this Godzilla lighting. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
2090 And then they found the hook attached to the door handle. 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
2091 You can talk when I pass you the flashlight. 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
2092 The flashlight face is really scary, but drop that far-fetched meteor story." 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
2093 Hey, slow down, Rex! Don't worry, you'll be remembered 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
2094 I feel pretty, Oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright! And I pity Any girl who isn’t me tonight. 1.1776 0.04753 107 93 9 5
2095 "I still think your breath is scarier..." 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
2096 And they lived happily ever after in endless Jurassic Park sequels. 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
2097 And then an asteroid came and killed them all! 1.1776 0.04160 107 90 15 2
2098 We escaped and destroyed everything the humans created. Except this flashlight. 1.1774 0.03975 124 105 16 3
2099 It was a dark and stormy night; 'round the campfire humans sat... 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
2100 Stop it. I'm already scared because I'm sure I heard humans out there. 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
2101 You look like a monster! 1.1771 0.04910 96 83 9 4
2102 I "light up your life"! 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
2103 Hammacher Schlemmer. 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
2104 And then, the knight rode up on his steed wearing asbestos armor carrying a fire extinguisher. 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
2105 And The Rock jumped out of nowhere! 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
2106 I got that part in "The Last of Us". 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
2107 While Impressive,D cells don’t last as long. 1.1765 0.03793 102 84 18 0
2108 And then they'll dig up our skeletons and put them on display for groups of schoolchildren to gawk at! 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
2109 Light make me look SCARY? 1.1765 0.03707 119 99 19 1
2110 Look at this thing I found after they ran away 1.1765 0.04275 102 86 14 2
2111 Will that supersede my patent for fire? 1.1765 0.03894 119 100 17 2
2112 No, you don’t look like a monster. 1.1765 0.04275 102 86 14 2
2113 Some say it will be a large falling rock from space that will kill us all, others say the eruption of a giant volcano, but my guess is some kind of virus brought back by the time traveler that give me this flashlight. 1.1765 0.04707 102 88 10 4
2114 Thanks to the torchlight! Now, nothing seems scary. 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
2115 And the five little bunnies lived happily every after! 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
2116 I look funny now, don’t I?! 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
2117 And then, on the car-door handle, they found a claw! 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
2118 Suddenly there came a tapping… 1.1765 0.04409 119 103 11 5
2119 Then they came after the Wooly Mammoth, but since I wasn't a Wooly Mammoth__. 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
2120 Then one night a meteor 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
2121 Any requests? 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
2122 I have no idea what it is, but I think it makes me look scarier from this angle. 1.1760 0.04106 125 107 14 4
2123 …and then on the way to her grandmothers house, the light revealed a hungry meat-eating human! 1.1759 0.04712 108 94 9 5
2124 You always say your inventions are going to change the world. 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
2125 This is the story of a shooting star that kept getting bigger and bigger… 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
2126 Don’t worry. We’ll survive on our extincts. 1.1759 0.04124 108 91 15 2
2127 Maybe it's me, but all I see is your head between two mountains...so, not scary. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
2128 Blanche Neige avait vraiment grillé ses 7 nains ? 1.1758 0.05086 91 79 8 4
2129 We don't need no stinking moon. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
2130 And then they saw a great ball of fire racing across the sky! 1.1758 0.05086 91 79 8 4
2131 It was a dark and stormy night, as the meteor hurtled through the sky.... 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
2132 And all that will be left of us is a pile of bones. The end. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
2133 Who says man invented fire or the flashlight? 1.1758 0.04013 91 75 16 0
2134 See, I told you I could get scarier looking. 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
2135 Ooh, creepy— imitating a human! 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
2136 It’s me, Beowulf! 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
2137 Was that before DLM? 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
2138 And then I went over to them and made this scary face and they just laughed” 1.1754 0.04360 114 98 12 4
2139 The dinosaurs heard a loud whoosh … and then an asteroid appeared! 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
2140 .. and unbeknownst to Smaug, Heracles slipped quietly into the lair! 1.1753 0.03880 97 80 17 0
2141 And they ran and ran but the meteor kept coming!! 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
2142 After they ate the cows, the earth froze. 1.1753 0.04863 97 84 9 4
2143 And then they realized…the monster was me! 1.1753 0.04148 97 81 15 1
2144 You have no metaphysical presense and have been reduced from historical iconography of wrath and gluttony into a camp characiture just to give some centrist liberal on the Upper West Side a quick snort! 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
2145 Getting your teeth capped DOES make you look 3 centuries younger! 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
2146 Trust me. This survival training is important! 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
2147 Sure, it’s plenty bright, but it’s not nearly as warm. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
2148 Cheer up, Ty. They say some big-time heat is coming...from heaven, no less. 1.1750 0.05562 80 70 6 4
2149 Oh, scare-eee, Uncle Marduk. Now can we make smores?" 1.1748 0.04236 103 87 14 2
2150 And just as suddenly as he tiptoed around the dark corner, the triceratops was confronted with the most frightening creature of all: a HUMAN. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
2151 ....and then the used car salesman yanked off his mask to reveal that most reviled, cold-hearted, bloodthirsty of creatures, the dreaded Hollywood entertainment lawyer. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
2152 Boo! I'm Marjorie Taylor Greene! 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
2153 And the gold turned out to be chocolate coins. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2154 Thant’s not funny George!!! 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2155 And then a big asteroid wiped out the entire population 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
2156 I prefer the warmth of a flame 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2157 Before Dinosaurs Had Television 1.1744 0.05534 86 76 5 5
2158 We aren’t scary doing this. But the humans certainly are. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2159 Using the dwindling power from our flashlight when we have a perfectly good campfire here, I must be... A MONSTERRR!!! 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
2160 And then, a wild human emerged from the darkness! 1.1743 0.04486 109 94 11 4
2161 I don't know if I like it or not! 1.1743 0.04292 109 93 13 3
2162 And then a huge fireball flew through the sky... 1.1743 0.04292 109 93 13 3
2163 Careful you don't attract Mothra again. Those two little girls ate all our marshmallows. 1.1743 0.04292 109 93 13 3
2164 Jurassic Park VII: Carry on Campersaurus 1.1743 0.04090 109 92 15 2
2165 That's not scary at all. 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
2166 And then they realized that the real Dragon slayer was me 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
2167 Stop ghosting me! 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
2168 He climbed up the Empire State Building-- and the CGI was bad 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
2169 Now you see me,now you don 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
2170 Hey Brad, you have a wart I never noticed before! 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
2171 Imitating the cruel humans 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
2172 ...and then the evil metal-clad man slayed the young dragon with his sword and rode away with the woman from the tower, and lived a miserable life in a capitalist world... 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
2173 that pink bunny we had for dinner said it would last forever 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
2174 Let’s Scare E-long! Or Best ! Let’s get That Congress Thing! Humans talk about! 1.1739 0.05034 92 80 8 4
2175 I got this from the ancient incinerated city ... pretty scary - eh? 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
2176 Does my head look big in this? 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
2177 One gray night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more. 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
2178 And it wasn't a big fiery ball that destroyed humanity, it was a little box everyone carried in their pockets." 1.1735 0.05030 98 86 7 5
2179 And then the giant meteor hit! 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
2180 Boo! Now I'm Paul Gosar! 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
2181 And . . . after I ate the backpacker, I picked up this cool flashlight! 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
2182 Maybe it will scare the campers, but I honestly just don't feel it. 1.1735 0.05030 98 86 7 5
2183 ....and the pink, hairless monkeys made cowboy boots from our skin and wore our teeth around their necks. 1.1735 0.04816 98 85 9 4
2184 And then one night a giant meteor appeared in the sky... 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
2185 ..And then something looking like me appeared through the trees. 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
2186 Your teeth look fine, just put away the flashlight already! 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
2187 …Some say that the campfire horror story is a tradition that goes back as far as the early Mesozoic Era. 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
2188 And then they rebuilt with steel. 1.1731 0.03728 104 86 18 0
2189 Hey, I think you've got some leftover pete in your teeth. I'm assuming things didn't end well? 1.1731 0.04622 104 90 10 4
2190 And then, after three days in the cave, HE CAME BACK!” 1.1731 0.03970 104 87 16 1
2191 And then the planet... 1.1731 0.04622 104 90 10 4
2192 Guess it really is light or flight 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
2193 ...and then there's the one about the knight with the golden arm... 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
2194 And then we became extinct. The end. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
2195 Take this if you're afraid of of the big bad wolf. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
2196 Then the dragon said, "Prince Charming, your demise looms. You have brought a sword to a fire fight!" 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
2197 Oooooh scary! Now where are the marshmallows? 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
2198 Scary,right?! 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
2199 …and they lived happily ever after! 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
2200 No, not the asteroid story! It’s too scary! 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
2201 Does this flashlight make me look scary? 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
2202 Stop it! You look like a Camp Counselor. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
2203 Not your normal museum teeth. 1.1724 0.04073 87 72 15 0
2204 I keep a flashlight on all night. If I don't, that scary little kid who lives under my nest will try to eat me. 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
2205 After millions of years of evolution, we finally have opposable thumbs...and this is what you do with them? 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
2206 I resent being called a luditte. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
2207 Stop! That part isn't edible! 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
2208 ...and the asteroid appeared to get bigger, and bigger, and bigger! 1.1724 0.04112 116 99 14 3
2209 Not quite. If you really want to scare them, stop flossing your teeth. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
2210 The scariest part of the story is no matter how much I shaved, they still called me the bearded dragon. 1.1720 0.05213 93 82 6 5
2211 ... and then they all vanished! 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
2212 ... and King Kong reigns over New York City to this very day. 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
2213 A meteor?! Fred, have you been listening to those podcasts again? 1.1720 0.04983 93 81 8 4
2214 Does this make me look human? 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
2215 ...And then the rodents and the other furry mammals conspired to take over the whole world. 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
2216 Before you go any further, I need to go to the bathroom. 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
2217 Call me old fashioned. I prefer a slow burning fire to a slick torch you got from homo sapient 1.1720 0.05432 93 83 4 6
2218 “ I bet you thought I was the boogey man “ 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
2219 The downside is that you can’t roast marshmallows on it. 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
2220 And out stepped a human from the minivan! 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
2221 So you can make a scary face! Big deal. Where're you gonna get batteries for that thing? Costco? 1.1717 0.04771 99 86 9 4
2222 Seriously ... Pete Davidson, right? 1.1717 0.04982 99 87 7 5
2223 Let me tell you a little story about St. George. 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
2224 Baby baby light my fire 1.1714 0.03696 105 87 18 0
2225 They ate so many of them, the campers came back...up!! 1.1714 0.04581 105 91 10 4
2226 Ooh look out, I'm a scary asteroid! 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
2227 They left this! Do I look scary? Why do they always run away? 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
2228 Legend has it that millions of years from now, tiny people will excavate our bones and reassemble our skeletons. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
2229 I'm smiling because my feet are warm and I look really scary. 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
2230 Beam me up Scottie. Get it? Beam? Oh never mind. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
2231 ...and then, the police told her, the calls were coming from INSIDE her cave!!! 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
2232 …and it’s said that St. George still haunts these woods today! 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
2233 It was ghastly - it walked upright on two legs and had no tail, scales or fiery breath at all! 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
2234 Once upon a time there was a very scary dragon . . . 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
2235 You’re being childish, Marvin. 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
2236 You’re more beautiful than ever 1.1705 0.04908 88 76 9 3
2237 One week’s growth. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
2238 ...then the sun disappeared and there was a huge fireball that burned for 40 days! 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
2239 It takes a lot more than that to scare me! 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
2240 And suddenly, the paleontologist vanished. They say he still walks these woods. 1.1705 0.04908 88 76 9 3
2241 ..And when your bones turn to goo.. ..they BURN what’s left! 1.1705 0.05167 88 77 7 4
2242 And the museum was filled with our bones. 1.1705 0.04908 88 76 9 3
2243 Did you forget the s’mores? 1.1705 0.04031 88 73 15 0
2244 And then he he came near me and drew his sword and the great Beowulf was defeated. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
2245 And then they rebuilt the park thinking it would be different… 1.1705 0.04908 88 76 9 3
2246 He looked something like this! 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
2247 So what! Your face and my ass! 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
2248 And what happened after the meteor hit? 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
2249 I’ve seen THE light. 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
2250 Then suddenly! A low moaning voice! Bring me back my eggs! 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
2251 Once upon a time there lived a fat, hideous monster named Harvey Weinstein... 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
2252 Let’s tell scary stories! 1.1702 0.04933 94 82 8 4
2253 Tell me the one about the little old lady hunting for an alligator handbag. 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
2254 ..and so the Girl Scout banged on the door and whipped out a box of SNICKERDOODLES!!!! 1.1702 0.05160 94 83 6 5
2255 …and all that remained were the cockroaches. 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
2256 Then this giant asteroid.... 1.1700 0.04277 100 85 13 2
2257 You're scaring me 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
2258 Your knight time stories are so scary 1.1700 0.04277 100 85 13 2
2259 Look at me, I have a better light! Everybody can look at me! Yes, but I am hot with fire. 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
2260 ...then after the asteroid hit, the tiny, hairy, mammals took over the world! 1.1700 0.04507 100 86 11 3
2261 And the this big, big rock came out of the sky, and poof! 1.1700 0.04507 100 86 11 3
2262 Fe Fi Fo Fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman! 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
2263 And in a flash of light, they all ceased to exist… forever 1.1700 0.04277 100 85 13 2
2264 My turn to tell a human story!! 1.1698 0.04126 106 90 14 2
2265 Let there be fright! 1.1698 0.04126 106 90 14 2
2266 Aaaaahhh. That’s the scariest human I’ve ever seen. 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
2267 Don't do that! I won't be able to get to sleep tonight. 1.1698 0.04126 106 90 14 2
2268 ...and the hairless apes send the planet back to the hot protosaur age... 1.1698 0.03902 106 89 16 1
2269 Yes, I’m the enlightened one. 1.1695 0.04047 118 101 14 3
2270 And then the humans started driving electric cars and they stopped relying on our remains. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
2271 Please tell me this isn’t what you meant by amazing campfire entertainment ? 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
2272 And then they put his remains into a 1982 Toyota Starlet, where he was never heard from again! 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
2273 Switch it to flashing, it's scarier. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
2274 Once upon a Triassic Period... 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
2275 I feel detached from your tale. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
2276 And then they pave... EVERYTHING! 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
2277 But instead of a shooting star, it was an asteroid! 1.1688 0.05359 77 67 7 3
2278 I Love A Rainy Night". Bad song choice 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
2279 then the sun went dark and a biiiig rock appeared in the sky... 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
2280 I've given up on fire breathing. This is much more efficient. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
2281 Yes, yes, they'll look very nice in a museum 1.1687 0.05639 83 74 4 5
2282 The vorpal blade went snicker-snack? You 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
2283 Nah, not working. You're just not scary looking. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
2284 Don’t look up! 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
2285 Stop it! You're scaring me, Dad! 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
2286 Very Funny. You don't look anything like an asteroid. 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
2287 And the asteroid got closer and closer... 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
2288 How do you feel about extinction? 1.1685 0.04856 89 77 9 3
2289 I bet humans do this, then tell stories about us. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
2290 Only then did they notice the hook on the end of her tail. 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
2291 I can see that you are very hungry, but be patient. The kids will be here with Beyond Meat hotdogs before you know it. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
2292 They were telling some story about us and one of them was doing this with the flashlight... anyway yeah I ate all those kids. 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
2293 Yeah, yeah. We've heard the one about the big asteroid that's going to wipe us all out. Got anything really scary? 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
2294 If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times, overhead soft halo light. 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
2295 Looks like somebody isn't flossing. 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
2296 It was a knightmare. 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
2297 And, from out of nowhere, comes hurtling a giant boulder! 1.1684 0.04884 95 83 8 4
2298 Behold, am I not beautiful? 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
2299 ...and he reached out with her fleshy hand and roasted - a marshmallow! 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
2300 Ask me a question and you'll see if I'm telling the truth. 1.1684 0.04650 95 82 10 3
2301 I think they make me look a million years younger, don't you? 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
2302 And then Biden stepped into the shower with his daughter... 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
2303 My Uncle Trumposaurus says your campfire stories about a horrible meteorite are too impossible to be frightening. 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
2304 Dude, he woke up in a tar pit and his gizzard had been surgically removed 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
2305 You are the spitting image of your mother. 1.1683 0.04682 101 88 9 4
2306 Telling ghost stories around the camp-fire goes back millions of years! 1.1682 0.04300 107 92 12 3
2307 Ohhh! You are a tyrant! Julius? Do me a favor. GROW UP!! 1.1682 0.04500 107 93 10 4
2308 Oh No,” he shuddered. That tasty-looking body he soon discovered was made of aluminum. 1.1682 0.04692 107 94 8 5
2309 Cut it out, Spike! No more creepy mammal stories! 1.1682 0.04090 107 91 14 2
2310 And when they looked under the bed, they found... an asteroid! 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
2311 Then humans developed fusion technology and there was no longer enough radiation to create baby Godzillas. 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
2312 How in Hell's name did you learn to operate a flashlight!? 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2313 What's scary about a boy named Jackie Paper, some strings & sealing wax? 1.1667 0.05600 78 69 5 4
2314 He looked under his bed…AND THERE WAS AN ASTEROID! 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
2315 I heard batteries are made by a bunny. 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
2316 It's Karaoke night 1.1667 0.04837 96 84 8 4
2317 I can't wait until they invent floss. 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
2318 And then the boy scout jumped out and said, "My therapist will never believe this!" 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2319 You forgot the marshmallows, Again!" 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
2320 Booo! I'm a meat eater! 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
2321 Do ya think they'll recognize me from Jurassic park?" tracy brown, san rafael, c 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
2322 I know you like scary stories, but these humans are going to give me nightmares! 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
2323 And PUFF was never seen again 1.1667 0.04424 102 88 11 3
2324 This is me in a previous life 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
2325 Can we store heat,in case there’s an ice age? 1.1667 0.04837 96 84 8 4
2326 …then the knight got off his horse and said…GOTCHA! 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
2327 That’s when they raised the social security benefit age to 68. 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
2328 Ooooh! I’m a human! 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
2329 Hideous! Who does your injections. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
2330 Whoa Larry! That's the scariest face I've seen since the Jurassic period! 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
2331 Bring on global warming!” 1.1667 0.04263 108 93 12 3
2332 It doesn't work. You're just too handsome! 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
2333 There’s No Business Like Show Business Like No Business I Know…. 1.1667 0.04843 102 90 7 5
2334 You really gotta come up with something new to scare the kids. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
2335 Grrr! I’m a big bad human. 1.1667 0.05059 90 79 7 4
2336 We should bury this stuff next to our wheel before the next age gets underway. 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
2337 And then… he slipped into his sandals — while wearing socks! 1.1667 0.03961 102 86 15 1
2338 No, it's Energizer. I ate the very annoying bunny. 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
2339 And then the prince kissed her! 1.1667 0.04263 108 93 12 3
2340 0oooh, another scary one…or is that just you smiling? 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
2341 And their arms are almost as long as their legs. 1.1667 0.03616 120 101 18 1
2342 …then the frog turned into a prince and they lived happily ever after! 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
2343 Stop it! Wait for the kids to show up! 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
2344 I tell you, this laser sword is pretty useless 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
2345 At this point the flashlight is simply a formality 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
2346 As the T-Rex's massive teeth crushed the bones of the last human alive, he cried out, "That meteor story was bullshit!" 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
2347 So this skin care routine I found on tiktok… 1.1667 0.05311 84 74 6 4
2348 Suddenly , three really scary teenagers jumped out of the dark! So I ate them! 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
2349 And then he said 'Let's play a little game. I've taped the antidote to your back. All you have to do is grab and you live.' 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
2350 No, I wouldn't call it gilding the lily. 1.1667 0.04117 114 98 13 3
2351 That 2nd chin is pretty scary. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
2352 IS THIS SCARY ENOUGH? 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
2353 They believed us when we told them we were selling campfire cookies! 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
2354 …And there was no Universal Health Care… 1.1667 0.03721 114 96 17 1
2355 Don't be scared, it's called an evolutionary anachronism. 1.1667 0.04424 102 88 11 3
2356 And then Trevor from accounts payable walked by my desk a THIRD TIME! 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
2357 And THEN, the evil townspeople called the fire department on the poor old dragon. 1.1652 0.04083 115 99 13 3
2358 And then the disgusting child woke the sleeping little dragon... 1.1651 0.04423 109 95 10 4
2359 And then they saved fifteen percent on their cave insurance. 1.1651 0.04020 109 93 14 2
2360 just then she realized, it was the very same orange-haired, blob-like creature, evilly grinning at her … from behind the Resolute Desk 1.1651 0.04226 109 94 12 3
2361 Now you get to see the real me at night. 1.1651 0.04020 109 93 14 2
2362 Daaaaddd! Stop with those scary faces!! 1.1651 0.03803 109 92 16 1
2363 It saves on the heartburn. 1.1650 0.03676 103 86 17 0
2364 Where did you find D-cell batteries so long after the holidays? 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
2365 There they were, the creatures with cell phones for hands... 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
2366 And when the dragon opened the door to the tower, the princess wasn't there! 1.1650 0.03926 103 87 15 1
2367 Wait...you ate your own right arm? 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
2368 suddenly ghastly George appeared and he was No Saint! 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
2369 please not scary human stories again! 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
2370 I always wanted to be in the spotlight. Born to be a star 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
2371 Don't, it makes you look like a monster! 1.1649 0.04560 97 84 10 3
2372 An Asteroid? No way! 1.1649 0.04560 97 84 10 3
2373 I'm pretty sure the Chinese Balloon can't track us here 1.1649 0.04560 97 84 10 3
2374 Glad to see you leaning in. 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
2375 And then the asteroid got closer....and closer...until... 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
2376 ...and so, on dark nights like this one, the headless cartoonist searches for incongruous tropes and a flashlight, just like this one. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
2377 You are so much bigger in person than on Zoom. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
2378 Your terrifying human face needs some work. 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
2379 Sorry, Ralph, I'm just not buying it. 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
2380 I still think they taste better cooked over the open flame. 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
2381 Eeeeek, look, I'm a scary monster ... 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
2382 So he says to me…’I’m gonna slay you’ and I say to him…’Georgie, you ain’t no saint’. 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
2383 Flossing - I’ve never heard of it 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
2384 And the human was in the backseat! 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
2385 Bloody ferns! Bloooooooooooody ferns! 1.1648 0.05245 91 81 5 5
2386 Before you show that off to our dates, you might want to know you have food stuck between your teeth. 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
2387 Who do I look most like? 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
2388 Don't do that... you're scaring me! 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
2389 Once upon a time, there lived a species known as humans who doomed the world. 1.1648 0.03911 91 76 15 0
2390 Pretty scary Halloween outfit, right? 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
2391 Travolta, Godzilla, The Joker, Julia Roberts -- I can do them all. 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
2392 Stop it, Sharon, you know I can’t handle stories with princes in them, not after the incident! 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
2393 You should have seen how I scared that stegosaurus that was sleeping in the woods. 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
2394 You look like Godzilla after eating Tokyo. 1.1647 0.04047 85 71 14 0
2395 Didn't I tell you that if we tried hard we could light a fire. 1.1647 0.04978 85 74 8 3
2396 Slowly, in the darkness, the magic spell made his arms longer, and longer, until suddenly…HE COULD SCRATCH HIS BACK! 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
2397 Old folks say, the species that made this kind of stuff had disappeared after a big asteroid explosion 1.1647 0.04047 85 71 14 0
2398 It's not the dark you have to worry about, it's the things that go bump in the night. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
2399 Scared? Do I look like Trump? 1.1647 0.04978 85 74 8 3
2400 One day,a comet appeared 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
2401 Yeah, that outta keep the mosquitos away. 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
2402 Forget about it, Jake. I'm not in the mood. 1.1647 0.05252 85 75 6 4
2403 ...and every midnight the ghost of St George passes through this neck of the woods. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
2404 And so this asteroid comes streaking out of the sky and kills us all! 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
2405 In the year 2023, you'll be anthropomorphized 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
2406 …pollution led to severe climate change and eventually to human extinction…. 1.1638 0.04733 116 104 5 7
2407 I dare you to run by the tar pits & listen for the cheers from Saudi Arabia. 1.1635 0.04555 104 91 9 4
2408 …. the tar is oozing down the mountain heading straight for us… 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
2409 Sing it with me -- "Blue Moon...." 1.1635 0.03891 104 88 15 1
2410 Wanna see me start another fire? 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2411 Then out of nowhere, a giant asteroid landed on their heads!! 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
2412 Want to see something really scary? 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
2413 And then the SECOND ICE AGE CAME! 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
2414 Nice effect, but as usual the moon is backwards. 1.1633 0.04743 98 86 8 4
2415 Very scary, Gary. 1.1633 0.04516 98 85 10 3
2416 You should have seen the look on the guys face that dropped this! 1.1633 0.04960 98 87 6 5
2417 Don't be frightened, I promise this story isn't too scary. It's the story of us." 1.1633 0.03753 98 82 16 0
2418 And then the hungry monster in the forest ran out of campers to eat! 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
2419 One stormy night, a hit movie demonized us as theme park monsters! 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
2420 Where’d you get the flashlight? 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
2421 Dude, waaay scarier than lighting your farts. 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
2422 Wait till they find out we track their GPS!! 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
2423 And then the T-Rex fired up his chainsaw 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
2424 Glad that fellow could do time travel. I was really hungry after the fire in the sky. 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
2425 ...and legend says that in that lake over there, there are lurking trilobites who survived the last extinction. 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
2426 You're not quite ready for your close-up. 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
2427 The monster trembled with fear as the closet door opened and a voice said, ‘Does this spark joy’? 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
2428 Oh, fuck! 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
2429 Would you quit fucking around with that flashlight I’m about to shit myself over here. 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
2430 The door creaked open slowly and it was a .....HUMAN!!!!... 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
2431 Do you think the Botox was a good idea? 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
2432 and then there were no more children to eat 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
2433 Now for this one, I've gotta look scary!" 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
2434 The lighting does you no favours 1.1628 0.04924 86 75 8 3
2435 It's great to finally meet in person! 1.1628 0.04004 86 72 14 0
2436 I am the light ! 1.1628 0.04004 86 72 14 0
2437 And after I pulled away, I found a cute teen-ager's hand pulled off and clinging to my car's door handle! 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
2438 You're telling me the big bad meteor came down one night and killed EVERYBODY? 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
2439 Real scary Billy, what’s next, a snipe hunt? 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
2440 This mammalian invasion has already begun, and in a short 65 million years, they'll be in charge. 1.1628 0.04924 86 75 8 3
2441 squeak, scrunch...and then Puff jumped in fright when the knight in rusty armor appeared. 1.1628 0.04924 86 75 8 3
2442 And then….. their bones and everything were dug up and put on display for everybody to see!! 1.1628 0.05194 86 76 6 4
2443 Do my eyes look too red? 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
2444 Does this light make my face greener? 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
2445 Are you also thinking we’re cloned from the same DNA? 1.1625 0.05169 80 70 7 3
2446 Hon, if I cover the center of the flashlight, we’ll have a nice ring light for our Zoom calls. 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
2447 You really need to floss. 1.1625 0.05169 80 70 7 3
2448 . . . and as the plane readied for took off, there were 20 toddlers in poopy diapers screaming and kicking the chairs, and the pilot said we would be delayed on the runway for at least 2 hours. 1.1625 0.05467 80 71 5 4
2449 They dug up the bones of our ancestors from deep fissures in the mountains, and they burned them, burned them all! 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
2450 And then all the MILFs found out that the men at the manor were actually their sons 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
2451 How is that a turn on? 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
2452 Not another meteor story! 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
2453 Doesn't work, still look just like a T-rex. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
2454 Want to hear a fossil story? 1.1622 0.03740 111 94 16 1
2455 And then he did his taxes, but he forgot to claim a dependant! 1.1622 0.04348 111 97 10 4
2456 And they laughed…as they used our desecrated bodies as FUEL! 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
2457 He: See, I call it karaoke; She: You need a mic not a flashlight 1.1622 0.04532 111 98 8 5
2458 …and then the big, bad meteor crashed into the earth. 1.1622 0.04348 111 97 10 4
2459 I forgot the marshmallows. 1.1619 0.04088 105 90 13 2
2460 That’s so sick. 1.1619 0.04088 105 90 13 2
2461 You'll have to go beyond this to scare a city, Godzilla. 1.1619 0.04514 105 92 9 4
2462 And he had a hook for a tail! 1.1619 0.03857 105 89 15 1
2463 And then, without warning, comes this huge rock from above, wiping out all the dinosaurs on earth. 1.1619 0.03857 105 89 15 1
2464 2 dragons sittin by the fire, iko iko a nae 1.1619 0.04306 105 91 11 3
2465 Do I have any smores in my teeth? 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
2466 ….and then the fire-breathing dragon used his last breath to start a campfire before he killed the only other fire-breathing dragon. Now go to your tent and get some sleep. 1.1616 0.03986 99 84 14 1
2467 He froze as he entered the museum. It was his mom and dad; only their skeletons. 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
2468 And there he was, with smooth, white teeth and fresh breath! 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
2469 Boo! OMG! Fooled ya'. It' is I, MTG" 1.1616 0.04698 99 87 8 4
2470 WHOA! That could only be scarier if you were wearing one of those creepy human masks. 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
2471 And that is why, we dragons are not allowed to blow candles on our birthday. 1.1616 0.03986 99 84 14 1
2472 I'll have what she's having 1.1616 0.03986 99 84 14 1
2473 And they kept their bones for millions of years so that human children could point at them. 1.1613 0.03835 93 78 15 0
2474 Are we trying to heat up the whole planet? Use this. 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
2475 But after converting the lair’s mountain of gold to crypto, the market collapsed! 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
2476 Okay this is gunna be a scary one… Humans. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
2477 Your beauty shines in that light. 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
2478 And then they say we have short arms and can never reach anything... 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
2479 You’re scarier in the dark. 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
2480 Have you ever heard of an asteroid? 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
2481 And then it said, ‘no internet connection’ 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
2482 ...and then this huge fireball appears in the sky and keeps getting closer, and closer, until ... 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
2483 How do I look now?...I don't think that's what they meant when they said try a filter. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
2484 Stop trying to cheer me up. You know I hate fire when I'm not breathing it. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
2485 There’s so many conspiracy theories…global cooling… asteroids… You just don’t know what to believe… 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
2486 Then out of the blue comes this huge meteorite hurtling straight towards us 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
2487 Wadday mean, I went to the plastic surgeon today and won’t need another lifting. Also, my dentist said I don’t need braces anymore. My teeth are all perfect. See? 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
2488 There's a note attached that says "when the asteroid hits, you might need this". What the hell does that mean? 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
2489 John…don’t look now, but there’s a meteor heading straight towards us 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
2490 Too late, he remembered he wasn't in Europe anymore! The 32 on the gauge was in... Fahrenheit!!! 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
2491 Sorry — you don’t have the nostrils to make that work. 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
2492 Are you petrified yet? 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
2493 You forgot the smores? 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
2494 They’ll invent the wheel next 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
2495 I bought it online and it shines for up to 5 miles. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
2496 ... and it was a knight ! 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
2497 And then the little pink bunny says "I love you!" 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
2498 And then there was this huge ball of fire in the sky.... 1.1604 0.03824 106 90 15 1
2499 No more scary extinction stories! 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
2500 And then this big fireball began plummeting toward Earth. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
2501 You’re gonna give me nightmares! 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
2502 …then the little orange dot got bigger and bigger and BIGGER, until it was all they could see” 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
2503 Why must you always be in the limelight, Godzilla? 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
2504 ...and then this large, green spiked fire breathing ogre... 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
2505 I'd like to thank the academy for finally choosing a reptile, not that they had a choice after we ate all the mammals. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
2506 ...and in the car door handle, they found a tiny prosthetic arm with a hook on the end. 1.1596 0.03797 94 79 15 0
2507 Wooooooo! I'm a big scary human! 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
2508 Does this make my teeth look big? 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
2509 And That’s What Humans Will Use Us For When We’re Crude Oil 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
2510 You know I can't stand it when you make that scary human face! 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
2511 What are you trying to do? Scare me? 1.1596 0.03797 94 79 15 0
2512 Then the knight said, 'I come in peace', and I was like 'yeah right, I was born at night, but not last night!' 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
2513 The Chicxulub crater started the mass extinction, and then the mammals took over. 1.1596 0.03797 94 79 15 0
2514 They were called humans. They roamed the Earth during the day. They looked like this. 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
2515 Suddenly a spot of light appeared in the sky. It quickly grew in size and in just a minute it covered the entire sky. It was a comet. The biggest comet earth ever sade! MOAHAHAHAHA!!!! 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
2516 There was a prophecy that the dinosaur race would be wiped out by a celestial rock and our world ruled by descendants of FURLESS MONKEYS. 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
2517 There was once a tv show with a friendly purple dinosaur... 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
2518 And then, and then, and then they went to SLEEP. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
2519 It did taste great, but you should have seen the look on its face when I grabbed this thing and held it under my jaw. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
2520 & then the ‘dawn’ of civilization 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
2521 I knew we were better at hide-and-seek. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
2522 Then Little Jackie Paper grew up... 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
2523 And then, I big white balloon got caught in his tail wind. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
2524 And his fossil was forever misgendered 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
2525 I got this idea last night. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
2526 And legend says, apes are next in line to talk. 1.1591 0.04818 88 77 8 3
2527 ... and there, under the bed, crouched St. George! 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
2528 Can you believe this beautiful face scared them away? 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
2529 Then when he tried to scream, all that came out was, "Puff..." 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
2530 Don’t joke about that! My cousin Jerry died by that asteroid 1.1591 0.03921 88 74 14 0
2531 …and when the baby dragon was born, his mother named him GEORGE! 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
2532 "And then, the orange-faced monster said, 'we should get rid of the constitution,' and all the people who had not drunk the kool-aid were very afraid." 1.1589 0.04629 107 95 7 5
2533 Let's find some campers and give them a really big scare. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
2534 Does this make me look like a monster? 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
2535 If it’s too scary I can scale it back. 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
2536 And that's why dragons are becoming extinct." 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
2537 Where the hell did you get that flashlight? 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
2538 …then the operator says, "Watch out! The call is coming from INSIDE the dungeon!" 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
2539 And then all life on earth will be destroyed by ice. Or a meteor. Or a forest fire. 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
2540 And then they’ll dig up your bones! 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
2541 Did you know that a good jest can survive extinction? 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
2542 And after been buried for thousand of years, one moonless night his liquified body oozed out of the ground as black tar. His revenge: the gangrenous destruction of the earth! 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
2543 Give me my flashlight back asshole. 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
2544 "I bought a flashlight; since the fire will extinguish by itself!!" 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
2545 And then, they elected him president… 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
2546 And then the asteroid came out of the sky, and... 1.1584 0.04390 101 88 10 3
2547 And then his mom called him home for dinner. 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2548 You shoulda seen it! That camper’s face got THIS big when I swallowed her whole. 1.1584 0.03913 101 86 14 1
2549 What do you mean pass the torch? 1.1584 0.03651 101 85 16 0
2550 Cool story bro-saurus. Did you bring the marshmallows? 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2551 Chin up knucklehead. 1.1584 0.03913 101 86 14 1
2552 And the operator said, "the call is coming from inside your own cave!" 1.1584 0.04610 101 89 8 4
2553 . . . and then the human realized he forgot his password to his Bitcoin wallet! 1.1584 0.04390 101 88 10 3
2554 Um...Donald Trump? 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2555 I like to warm my feet before I go out to catch my dinner 1.1584 0.03913 101 86 14 1
2556 And then the humans crashed into the cave and the little dragon hid behind a big rock... 1.1584 0.03913 101 86 14 1
2557 And the comet *hit* the planet, and the dinosaurs were never heard from again! 1.1584 0.04390 101 88 10 3
2558 And hanging right there was — a bloody hook! 1.1584 0.03913 101 86 14 1
2559 The calls were coming from INSIDE the dungeon! 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
2560 what's a hitchhiker? 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2561 And then they were turned into nuggets 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2562 I think that’s enough Broadway show tunes for tonight. 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
2563 And then Red Riding Hood said: "Grandma, my what sharp teeth you have..." 1.1579 0.05636 76 68 4 4
2564 Well if we don't move to green energy we might extinct 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2565 ...and then they cloned us and put us on an island behind locked gates. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
2566 Whoo, now that's scarry 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2567 We must be related, it can breathe light. 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2568 You just had to ruin karaoke by eating the spotlight operator, didn't you? 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
2569 It came from outer space... 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2570 Once upon a time, there were these creatures that wanted to rule the world, but they were very bad. These creatures were called Politicians..... 1.1579 0.04807 95 84 7 4
2571 We're the last two dinosaurs and if you don't stop with the jokes, we're going to be extinct. 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
2572 Do I have any Stegosaurus in my teeth? 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
2573 And then the lights came on and everyone SCREAMED! 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2574 Let’s just order in tonight. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
2575 And after all that - here's the really spooky part - he became an herbivore! 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
2576 It’s so much fun to make believe I’m ferocious 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
2577 Yeah…really scary Ray. Now do the red strobe… 1.1574 0.03982 108 93 13 2
2578 The luminosity is great, but there's nothing like the campfire for warming my cold-blooded toes. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
2579 Dragons are scary. Giant dragons are scarier. Light is scariest. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
2580 If you're doing that Great Pumpkin schtick, you're in the wrong comic. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
2581 They called him Saint George, but we called him Devil’ 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
2582 This story's about a very scary knight - spelled with a k! 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
2583 We have nothing to fear but fear itself," it said. I laughed in its face and said "Fear These!" 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
2584 And that's why dragons only have three toes on each foot and no wings. Any questions? 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
2585 And just before I ate him he had this up to his chin telling everyone about the goblins out here. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
2586 Let me tell you a scaly story. 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
2587 And then the meteor struck! 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
2588 And then I ate the man with a hook for a hand. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
2589 … and then the scary monsters said boo and scared all of the children. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
2590 You probably should floss before you start. You've got part of Harajuku stuck in your teeth and it's freaking me out. 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
2591 And after the bones are liquified they burn them! But we shall have revenge... 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
2592 You can keep your fire! 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
2593 And the lord said “let there be light” 1.1573 0.05028 89 79 6 4
2594 I know, but if I use this flashlight it will really scare the kids. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
2595 ...but it turns out the knight's armor clanking was coming from inside the cave! 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
2596 They ate smores, didn't get their boosters and become extinct! 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
2597 Even though you know it’s me, the scary torch trick never fails. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
2598 Nothing is going to be any scarier than what you did to the s'mores. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
2599 And then the monsters fed on our remains for hundreds of years in order to destroy the Earth! 1.1569 0.04567 102 90 8 4
2600 The two-legged creature we saw running around with this light stick: well, he was good eating , but this dumb stick got caught in my teeth. 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
2601 ... and that's who built this fire before we got here! 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2602 We have three lights (the moon, the flashlight and the bonfire) and our faces show that we don´t understand anything yet. 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
2603 And the monster looked like….!!! 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
2604 Cut it out! You're scaring me. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
2605 Do my teeth look yellow to you? 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
2606 Cool, Dino. You're good enough to sing with Puff and Barney. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
2607 The scariest part of the story is yet to come: the 2024 United States presidential election! 1.1566 0.05279 83 74 5 4
2608 Whitening strips are good for my smile. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
2609 And they called it Jurassic Park despite most of the dinosaurs being…from the Mesozoic Era! 1.1566 0.05279 83 74 5 4
2610 ...and that's when she realized that the call was coming from INSIDE the cave! 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
2611 But then suddenly St. George jumped out and said 'Boo!' 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
2612 Bigger, Sharper, Whiter, Paleodentistry Yeah! 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
2613 Last curtain call before the asteroid. 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
2614 ...and the horrible creatures without any scales just kept coming and coming and coming... BILLIONS of them! 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
2615 And when they got home,they found a hand with an opposable thumb lodged in the car door! 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
2616 Fire-breathing alone is not enough to scare anyone. You also need uplighting. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
2617 And so he BURNED the throne to a crisp forcing them to form a democracy. The End. 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
2618 The scariest story of them all, 'When Humans Walked the Earth.'" They called themselves Republicans and Democrats 1.1565 0.04205 115 101 10 4
2619 I get it... you're scary. Can we call it a night already? 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
2620 Then the little hairy creatures made buildings to come stare at our corpses for their entertainment 1.1562 0.04759 96 85 7 4
2621 It was a fleshy visage… no scales, none at all—just bare flesh and a blue-eyed smile that nearly made me faint. 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
2622 Let me guess -- a late-night comic? 1.1562 0.03725 96 81 15 0
2623 I flossed...come and look for yourself if you don't believe me. 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
2624 And then the paleontologist monster dug up our graves and made statues from our bones! 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
2625 But when they got out of the car, they saw one tiny detached arm dangling from the side-view mirror. 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
2626 It may not be so dramatic but it eliminates that awful acid reflux burn. 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
2627 Incredible! You OWN Boris Karloff! 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
2628 And then he kissed the princess and they fell in love! 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
2629 Frank, will you please quit i? It makes you look cute, and it scares me to see you like that! 1.1560 0.04158 109 95 11 3
2630 And then the humans chop down all the trees in the forest! 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
2631 And then an asteroid hit...Boom! 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
2632 What do you think? Time to see the dentist? 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
2633 Like I said, you’re not scaring me and you’re not the least bit funny, but keep it up and it will be the end of us. 1.1558 0.05250 77 68 6 3
2634 Just in case the fire burns out. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
2635 The year is 2023, and everyone thinks we’re extinct. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
2636 And then along comes Saint George … 1.1556 0.03842 90 76 14 0
2637 ...and the asteroid was getting closer...and closer...and closer 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
2638 Want to makeup a scary human story? 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
2639 Do I look like a damsel in distress now? 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
2640 Wow! it does make you look thinner. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
2641 And then suddenly, over your shoulder you catch a glimpse of it, a flaming rock! 1.1556 0.03842 90 76 14 0
2642 You don't really look any different to me!!! 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
2643 This is so romantic but next time please bring some marshmallows. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
2644 Then she looked right at him and said, “The Dinosaur you talked to couldn’t have been Pisanosaurus. He went extinct in the late Triassic period!” 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
2645 In a parallel universe this is hilarious! 1.1556 0.04975 90 80 6 4
2646 and, when I finally got home, I found a hand stuck in my rear molars! 1.1556 0.03842 90 76 14 0
2647 Floss that camper crud before you go to sleep tonight funny man. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
2648 And then their life was controlled by a the hand computer called a cell phone. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
2649 ... but why didn't he just roast the knight? 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
2650 ...and then WHAM, the meteor hit! 1.1548 0.03970 84 71 13 0
2651 Then Jackie Paper came no more! 1.1548 0.04936 84 74 7 3
2652 It may not be as scary, but it has a lower carbon footprint than breathing fire. 1.1548 0.04936 84 74 7 3
2653 Not one with the humans again. They're too freakin' creepy. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
2654 Believe me, you look much more terrifying like this! 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2655 Now THAT is scary ! You like just like my Ex ! 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
2656 …and the giant asteroid will hit the Earth… 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2657 And then the vegan mammoth appeared... 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2658 And then the dragon blew out snowflakes instead of fire 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
2659 Stop it, you know I'm afraid of the knight. 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
2660 Evolution is fake news. Our kids will never be salamanders. 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
2661 And then there were no cities left to terrorize. 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
2662 And then all of a sudden,his breath smelled minty and cool. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
2663 And then the EPA auditor said we could never breathe fire ever again … 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
2664 And they will fuel their machines with our remains! 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
2665 One day, when you least expect it... Bam! You look.up at the sky and there it is, burning like a star, The Mad Meteor coming to get you! 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
2666 They have smooth skin, rounded teeth, and thumbs used to grab you in the middle of the night. 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
2667 Do you think this expression will scare the others? 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
2668 Very funny, y'old fossil! 1.1538 0.04271 104 91 10 3
2669 It was then that he realized that the call was coming from inside the lair! 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
2670 … and it’s got a rechargeable battery, so it’s better for the environment. 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
2671 Then they started burning our liquified corpses to power their machinery! 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
2672 No spinach, but there's a piece of tunic. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
2673 Welcome to Jurassic Park VII. 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
2674 Quit that! You look like a human being. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
2675 It'll never catch on. Not much heat. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
2676 climate change is a hoax 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
2677 But I don't want to be in movies, I want to be an Influencer." 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
2678 Once upon a time, long long ago, there was a fiery asteroid that crashed into the earth... 1.1538 0.03809 104 89 14 1
2679 First we tell scary stories, then we roast sticky things that get stuck in our teeth. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
2680 And then he could't reach them! 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
2681 Wow, just as I was getting to grips with this new fire thing, 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
2682 You don't scare me. 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
2683 Asteroids - Ha! This’ll really scare you. 1.1538 0.04484 104 92 8 4
2684 Hah! I've seen much scarier faces than that! 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
2685 …and then an asteroid crashed into the earth and there was no more sunlight 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
2686 The time traveler also gave me some good investment tips. 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
2687 Quit it! You look really creepy! 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
2688 And then there’s this woman Cersei who’s not not married to her brother …. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
2689 But we survive the meteor and many millions of years later our advanced civilization and brilliant individuals are honored in great museums. 1.1531 0.04436 98 86 9 3
2690 My name is Bud. This is my light. Can I get you a beer? 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
2691 And then the asteroid appeared in the sky... 1.1531 0.04667 98 87 7 4
2692 King Kong ain't got nothing on me! 1.1531 0.03656 98 83 15 0
2693 And that’s who lives happily ever after. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
2694 The time traveller dropped the flashlight before I ate her. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
2695 You're wasting batteries, and who the hell is Fiorello La Guardia? 1.1529 0.05160 85 76 5 4
2696 I like to use this when I'm telling scary stories. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
2697 I didn't invent fire for this nonsense! 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
2698 Eeeeek!!! You look so human!!! 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
2699 It's called, "The Museum of Natural History"... 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
2700 And then the big rock fell from the sky ... 1.1529 0.04881 85 75 7 3
2701 Silence of the Dinos That night, the vicious little rodents slipped silently into Godzilla’s nest, ripped open the bellies of her babies, and ate their livers with some Fava beans and a nice Chianti. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
2702 OK,you're right,it does make you look scarier. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
2703 Scary? Actually, I think it makes you look sweet! 1.1529 0.05160 85 76 5 4
2704 And they are called humans… 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
2705 Greg, your feet are terrifying 1.1529 0.04881 85 75 7 3
2706 You think YOU’RE scary? 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
2707 NOW, can't you see why I need liposuction on my neck? 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
2708 ...and that's why we wear costumes when camping. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
2709 I don't know why they do it either, they all taste the same. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
2710 I just peed myself. . 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
2711 How do you like my teeth? 1.1524 0.04232 105 92 10 3
2712 And this thing here has to be the worst weapon ever. 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2713 And then they served dragon fruit! 1.1522 0.04872 92 82 6 4
2714 Oh, lighten up, Rex. I'm just having a Jurassic lark! 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2715 And when he knocked down the skyscraper... NO ONE SCREAMED! No reaction at all from the townspeople!!! 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2716 Works every time! 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
2717 I really think it shows my better features. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
2718 Make my wife extinct, please! 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2719 I don't get it...this really killed at the Boy Scout camp. 1.1522 0.03765 92 78 14 0
2720 And then the ghost, who looked like the Loch Ness Monster only hotter, let out a piercing scream! 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
2721 And then a great comet hits and Dinos become Di-“no’s” 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2722 The asteroid grew bigger and bigger … 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2723 I get it, you're scary but you don't need a flashlight to prove it. 1.1522 0.03765 92 78 14 0
2724 How about this? Am I scary yet? 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2725 There once was a rock that flew through the sky... 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
2726 And then the big rock from the sky crashed into the earth and wiped out all the Dinosaurs and humans were left to rule the world. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
2727 Aw, man, I'll kill myself if I have to hear karaoke again. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
2728 You promised me castles and royalty. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
2729 it's no good, ed, the days when we could scare eachother silly are gone 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
2730 Mom said those tar pits were just a myth 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
2731 T "Stuff like this is why the kids don't want to join us. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
2732 Eek! It does make you look friendly. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
2733 Jurassic Park and Campground 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
2734 shit man, that's scary 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
2735 The invention of sushi 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
2736 I think I’ll audition for the next Jurassic Park. 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
2737 Yeah, this was right after I finished the wheel! 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
2738 Any king in my teeth? 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
2739 Don’t do that without your makeup on. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
2740 I'm beginning to believe we're an anachronism. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
2741 Now for the true story of my tall tail… 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
2742 That’s great honey, but now we have no money for groceries. 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
2743 And then, instead of peeling the string cheese apart, he raised the entire stick to his mouth... and took a bite! 1.1518 0.04432 112 100 7 5
2744 ... and then a giant ball of fire crossed the sky, pointing towards planet Earth! 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2745 And then the princess says, "The other dragon was much cuter..." 1.1515 0.04840 99 89 5 5
2746 Honey….again? Shadow puppet theater with T-Rex arms? 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
2747 Did you ever hear the one about "fossil fuel"? 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
2748 ...and a meteor came and wiped them all out! 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
2749 That's when he learned the knight's armour was harder than dragon teeth! 1.1515 0.03896 99 85 13 1
2750 Then you realize they haven't showered in three days... 1.1515 0.03622 99 84 15 0
2751 That’s right, from a geologic period piece to a tired movie franchise! 1.1515 0.04393 99 87 9 3
2752 Just then the Microraptor screamed "You fools! It's not a comet, it's an asteroid!" 1.1515 0.03622 99 84 15 0
2753 Suddenly Anna looked up and saw the meteor. 1.1512 0.03885 86 73 13 0
2754 I saw a bunch of Boy Scouts do this…scary huh? 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
2755 Sorry Paul. You’re still not very scary. 1.1512 0.05103 86 77 5 4
2756 If you had not scared the camper away you would not have had only his toothpaste for dinner 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
2757 And this light in the sky got bigger....and BIGGER.... 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
2758 Just a click scares them off. 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
2759 Do I LOOK oily?! 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
2760 It's me! 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
2761 And then a huge glowing rock from the Ghostosaurus Planet will appear in the sky... 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
2762 Fire, then light! Soon we’ll have cars! 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
2763 I have a very scary story for you and it's about me! 1.1512 0.03885 86 73 13 0
2764 ...and then the herd of unicorns stampeded 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
2765 Knock knock. Whose there? Me! 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
2766 See these teeth? That’s why we don’t need to floss. 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
2767 Jeez…this prehistoric reenactment summer camp is really committed to staying in character .. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
2768 Are you sure there is no spinach caught in there? 1.1509 0.03975 106 92 12 2
2769 Extinction, now that's frightening. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
2770 And then, from off in the distance, what appeared to be a meteor… 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
2771 … and that’s why I put my hoard into a 401k. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
2772 And then the boogey man threw a mile-wide meteor into the Yucatan and killed all the good dinosaurs! 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2773 Stop it! That makes you look so scary! 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
2774 ...she slowly opened the door, and then she saw the face of the human from the black swamp! 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
2775 How could you leave the marshmallows in the car? 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2776 Great. Now I'm going to be up all night worrying about a prince. 1.1505 0.03728 93 79 14 0
2777 You'll get your turn in a minute. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2778 And no one was spared. 1.1505 0.03728 93 79 14 0
2779 Blair Witch Dino-Bitch! 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
2780 And then they made oil out of our bones! 1.1505 0.04822 93 83 6 4
2781 And sixty-six billion years from now your remains will be used to power motor vehicles. 1.1505 0.04573 93 82 8 3
2782 It wasn't funny the first time... 1.1505 0.03728 93 79 14 0
2783 Do my teeth look any whiter? 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2784 The last time I saw that I fell off my anthropod. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
2785 Happy Valentine's Day! 1.1505 0.04822 93 83 6 4
2786 It's like our last hoorah down here on the planet and you're trying to scare me with that – get real. 1.1505 0.03728 93 79 14 0
2787 Tell me Ted, did I get all the spinach out of my teeth? 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
2788 They thought this was scary till I showed up. 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
2789 The mutterings of the smooth-skinned mammals were coming from…inside the cave! 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
2790 Sorry, it’s going to take more than that to make you look scary. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
2791 . . . and suddenly, he saw plants . . . everywhere . . . NOTHING but plants! 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
2792 Then all the humans grabbed their pitchforks and torches. It looked like the end for brave Dennis, bravest of all dragons. 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
2793 and he said... I WANT MY GOLDEN ARM!!!! 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
2794 And the meteor sped on its collision course toward Earth 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
2795 and then, a troop of boy scouts... 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
2796 After they dig up our bodies, they put us on display in museums. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
2797 Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. You're gonna hear me roar. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
2798 And, Boo! It was Alex Jones. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
2799 Damn right -- 6 teeth AND 6 toes -- you have a problem with that? 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
2800 There once was a human who lived deep in the dark forest and....... 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
2801 I still feel cold blooded. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
2802 You have a cavity in your upper molar! 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
2803 I'm telling you, the best way to scare humans is to roar and then say 'just kidding' 1.1500 0.04113 100 87 11 2
2804 And the calls were coming from inside the Riparian forest! 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
2805 Rex, don’t do that. You’re scaring me. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
2806 Honestly, your morning face is way scarier. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
2807 I’m not sure how we made it here but I think a spotlight is to come. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
2808 Do I have salad stuck in my teeth? 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
2809 …it was nuclear radiation!! 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
2810 How do you like my big reveal? 1.1495 0.03940 107 93 12 2
2811 And then the children suddenly EXPLODED IN YOUR STOMACH! 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2812 My dad used to scare me like this! 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2813 Sorry, not that scary. 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
2814 So that's what the kid was doing with it when you ate him? 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2815 ...and all the world was peaceful until, in a great fiery orb, humans arrived! 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
2816 Hey look, I'm a Boy Scout 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2817 Firelight is romantic but I need something stronger 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2818 I just said "Alexa, let there be light." 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
2819 Why did I swipe right?! He said his name was Toothless. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
2820 Turn that off, you’ll attract mothras. 1.1494 0.03844 87 74 13 0
2821 And spiting the kids with popular names, Micropachycephalosaurus devoured the school. 1.1491 0.03575 114 98 15 1
2822 Here's my Cagney impression...'Is that you Ma?' 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
2823 I usually would beam the light from my eyes but that doesn’t have the same effect. 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
2824 Woooo! It’s Big Foot! 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2825 I',m getting ready for Halloween '23! 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2826 You look like a knight! 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
2827 They were triplets. Two-year-old triplets... 1.1489 0.03692 94 80 14 0
2828 Dinosaur campfire games. You look like a human-thats scary. 1.1489 0.05007 94 85 4 5
2829 He was about five years old, red hair and freckled face, and he was picking a booger out of his nose. 1.1489 0.03692 94 80 14 0
2830 And when I stopped the car and looked, there was just a hook hanging off my tail. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
2831 And then, the bald apes put your bones on display! 1.1489 0.03692 94 80 14 0
2832 This is what the MAGA Republicans look like as they try to destroy democracy in the USA 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
2833 ...but he did not see the SPRINKLERS 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
2834 See? Gleaming white! I brush after every rampage! 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
2835 You scared the crap out of me! Where did you get that thing? 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
2836 Ooh Scary! Saint George! So hideous! 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
2837 And then Godzilla came with a MAGA hat! 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
2838 And then a meteor hit the Earth and we all died! 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
2839 Fire light! 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
2840 And in 2013 we grossed only $74 million. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
2841 It was a clear, sunny day, and if that wasn’t bad enough… 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
2842 And then this big scary asteroid appeared... 1.1485 0.03824 101 87 13 1
2843 It is really neat, it replaces the light and eliminates the heat. 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
2844 And then, the little girl smiled. 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
2845 Sometime ago there were some scary monsters out called "humans" 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
2846 The shell cracked open, and it.. was.. your.. mother. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
2847 We’re Doomed. 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
2848 Stop that, Kevin. It makes you look like a politician and it's freaking me out! 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
2849 When aren't you totally lit up? 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
2850 Seriously, I could go on-and-on forever. 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
2851 'Oh God, PLEASE floss after your lunchtime knight.' 1.1481 0.05003 81 72 6 3
2852 Marvin, stop it. You're scaring me. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
2853 It isn't funny! Put that anachronism away! 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
2854 …and when I hold it like this I look like Marjorie Taylor Greene…. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
2855 ...and then, the big fire-breathing dragon came down from the sky and burned all the land around, as far as you can see. 1.1481 0.03678 108 93 14 1
2856 …and you, and I, and everyone you’ve ever known, will be extinct! 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
2857 And that's how s'mores were invented. 1.1481 0.05003 81 72 6 3
2858 Battery power! It will never work. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
2859 And then the apes began to walk upright... 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
2860 I might have misunderstood what kinda knight this would be. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
2861 Smokey the Bear! Am I right? 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
2862 Once, there was a sword. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
2863 And they all looked up to see the meteor hurtling towards us... 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
2864 So you're telling me you used to be George Santos? 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
2865 ...and then Sir Lancelot jumped out and slayed the poor dragon. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
2866 And then this giant asteroid… 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
2867 ...and then they evolve and invent artificial intelligence. 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
2868 And suddenly little Rex was surrounded by humans! 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
2869 And on the hilt of Excalibur clung a bloody hook... 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
2870 Eating it would be more scary 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
2871 I know what you're thinking. 'Are there batteries?' Well to tell you the truth I kinda lost track myself. If I drop it in the fire, it would blow your head clean off. So, you've gotta ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk? 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
2872 Hollywood ?.... I want to go to Hollywood. ? 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
2873 Ah saw a balloon. Ah was scared. Ah Cwied." 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
2874 Freakin Family Fun! 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
2875 Did you see that big shooting star? 1.1474 0.03656 95 81 14 0
2876 And then he said "monsters aren't real!" 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
2877 'I stick my head in the tent; turn this baby on and the rest is gravy.' 1.1474 0.04725 95 85 6 4
2878 This is about the two dragons on lovers lane and the Cropsey Maniac. 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
2879 Kind of scary, I guess. 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
2880 It is believed that unsuccessful courtship vocalizations by the males of the rare Karaokasaurus contributed to its extinction. 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
2881 And then an asteroid hurtled toward Earth!' 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
2882 We are a perfect match, your yin and my yang! 1.1474 0.04725 95 85 6 4
2883 These fireballs from heaven are an absolute godsend! 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
2884 I thought we were just going to eat marshmallows. 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
2885 And one day our deafening roars will be gone and replaced by cute little chirps. 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
2886 And then they made a fifth sequel 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
2887 I see you didn't floss after the smores. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
2888 And then, she lets her long hair down from the tower and you can just tell she hasn't conditioned. The split ends are three inches long! 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
2889 Dude, what was in those marshmallows?! 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
2890 And then, out of the darkness, came a cry “meow”. 1.1467 0.05265 75 67 5 3
2891 Hell. I was impressed with the fire. 1.1467 0.05265 75 67 5 3
2892 …and the old recluse opened his mouth, and instead of breathing fire on the hideous campers, he exhaled only smoke, and they rolled over laughing at him. So he had to eat them RAW! 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
2893 Then a gigantic meteor appeared in the sky. 1.1463 0.04945 82 73 6 3
2894 And then the meteor headed o earth. 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
2895 And a human said WOOO 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
2896 You’re already ghoulish, you need more incisor blood staining. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
2897 Not a theme park! 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
2898 Heeeere’s Johnny! 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
2899 Then the asteroid said, "You scaly monsters are doomed. You'll all be dead within the next 33,000 years!" 1.1463 0.04945 82 73 6 3
2900 Where is the matchbox? 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
2901 …And this is how I look up-lit. Still wanna smash? 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
2902 Oh, that's a flashlight? 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
2903 I was calling from inside the house. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
2904 Fear forces us to improvise and light up our next experiences 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
2905 And then Homo sapiens took over the world. 1.1463 0.04945 82 73 6 3
2906 Does this lighting make me look ferocious? 1.1463 0.04945 82 73 6 3
2907 And for my next trick.... 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
2908 It was the Dawn of Man, when suddenly... 1.1463 0.05241 82 74 4 4
2909 An alien gave this to me. Pretty cool, huh? 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
2910 Chinese spy balloons crash yet? 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
2911 And this is my, “ I’m gonna eat you” disguise. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2912 No, little Bobosaurus, the asteroid isn't under your bed. Not yet anyway. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2913 And then the little blond-haired girl stroked the kitten's head and went to sleep. 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
2914 They say this is supposed to be scary, but I don’t get it. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2915 And just before George R.R. Martin could finish his manuscript, HBO pitched ANOTHER series! 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2916 Then the broker said basic index funds were outpacing his treasure hoard by 20 percent! 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2917 And then all of us disappear—forever! 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2918 Stop it! You look like a B monster!!! 1.1461 0.03765 89 76 13 0
2919 Really, Carl? An asteroid? Get real. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2920 Make that your last selfie,the batteries will soon run out. 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
2921 Clever girl. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2922 Ok, you got implants 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2923 He wasn't a dinosaur at all, but a bird! 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
2924 Now this is real progress. Let’s transcend to the future! 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2925 And then a giant meteor lands and kills us all! 1.1461 0.04938 89 80 5 4
2926 Goodness, Herman. You are scaring the monster out of me. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2927 It avoids dragon fire breath and is still scary 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
2928 Are there any humans in my teeth? 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
2929 and then, the boy's daddy looked under the bed ... 1.1458 0.04437 96 85 8 3
2930 And they say he still roams the forst late at night seeking unwary little dragons to slay! 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
2931 Someday they will dig up your bones, put them on display and charge admission 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
2932 ...and when the procedure was complete, I looked twenty years younger! 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
2933 If this burns out again, we’re extinct. You know that, right? 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
2934 No, it doesn't put you in a better light, dear. 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
2935 Their vegan diets had made them all flavourless. 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
2936 After the asteroid hit we became oil and bones! 1.1456 0.04232 103 91 9 3
2937 It’s giving camp 1.1456 0.04232 103 91 9 3
2938 Anything caught in my teeth? 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
2939 And the call was coming from INSIDE THE LAIR. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
2940 The meteor is coming from inside the house! 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
2941 And what kind of cookies would they sell—-Girl Scout cookies!” 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
2942 Really! It doesn't burn! 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
2943 …and then, man began emitting carbon dioxide! 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
2944 And then the knight is shining armor says let's make a deal 1.1447 0.05199 76 68 5 3
2945 We came here to discuss our part in reducing global warming and now you’re just making light of the situation 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
2946 I found this in the pile of rubble the humans left behind 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
2947 This will ward off raptors for as long as the batteries last. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
2948 Then, something even worst than the meteorite came by,…capitalism they call it 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
2949 Even scarier was the Chinese spy balloon high overhead. 1.1446 0.04889 83 74 6 3
2950 Now you say, "Yes, and..." to keep the story going. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2951 Scary, Huh!? 1.1446 0.04889 83 74 6 3
2952 RedBull gives you wings. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2953 Let's be Lounge Lizards 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
2954 And then a gigantic asteroid hit us and killed our entire species! 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
2955 And then the landlord raised his monthly rent by 1200 dollars 1.1446 0.04889 83 74 6 3
2956 Bright enough for a selfie? 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
2957 Stop, you are scaring me. You almost look human! 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
2958 Then the police called back to say, "Run outside! The meteor's phone call is coming from your upstairs bedroom." 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2959 THE KID RAN OFF TO TELL HIS DIRECTOR HE FOUND ONE WITH THE RIGHT SMILE AND TEETH. 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
2960 Is there anything between my teeth? 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2961 Don't! You really scare me when you do that. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2962 No, you're not any scarier! 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
2963 I have traveled to te future and got this. It does not burn. 1.1446 0.04889 83 74 6 3
2964 And the Triceratops was just trying to take an innocent poop, when round the corner came Jeff Goldblum, with his mocking eyes 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
2965 Their bodies were turned into fuel for the human's cars , and their bones turned to stone...displayed for the human's children to see. 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
2966 And just as I was leaving the meeting, my boss turned to me and said 'I'm promoting you to middle management!' 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
2967 I don't know Steve, maybe we should just go back to scaring tourists at the Loch. 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
2968 Many years ago the two-legged monster named Galahad planned to come after our family. 1.1444 0.03726 90 77 13 0
2969 You'd look scarier without all those gold crowns. 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
2970 2 creatures having a campfire and telling storys about other monsters trying to catch them chad is scaring kyle about the story 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
2971 This reminds me of that scene from blazing saddles 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
2972 You wanna hear the asteroid story again? 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
2973 It was a bright and clear morning... 1.1444 0.03726 90 77 13 0
2974 Our species will be replaced by humans. Now that's scary! 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
2975 This is a tale of creatures that lived long ago, humans... 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
2976 And then, the human child threw a giant tantrum and charged!" 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
2977 I tell you, it works every time. 1.1444 0.04623 90 80 7 3
2978 And then she showed up to the State of the Union address in WHITE FUR 1.1444 0.04623 90 80 7 3
2979 There's no one left 1.1443 0.04394 97 86 8 3
2980 Is this the story you always tell where they all end up dead? 1.1443 0.04632 97 87 6 4
2981 …and then they put 6 loaded plastic bags in their SUV! 1.1442 0.03965 104 91 11 2
2982 Oh no,NO! Not a meteorite?!! 1.1442 0.04193 104 92 9 3
2983 ‘And then I saw the light.’ 1.1442 0.04193 104 92 9 3
2984 '...and then this fiery ball comes plummeting down from the sky...' 1.1441 0.04215 111 99 8 4
2985 Yes, yes I know who your mimicking for Pete's sake; it's Puff the magic dragon and you're frolicking by the fire with the flashlight, right? 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
2986 And all that remained was a deep dark crater! 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
2987 What's really scary is me finding out you forgot the smores. 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
2988 Last night I scared that mean old man, and he threw our family off his boat. 1.1429 0.05121 84 76 4 4
2989 And the big bad comet came closer. Closer. Closer...! 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
2990 And because he wouldn't go to sleep, the dinosaur's son ended up in a museum! 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
2991 They had HAIR and BREASTS‽ How scary! 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
2992 My agent suggests I get veneers. 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
2993 Stop ,you’re scaring me! 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
2994 Kiss me, I am Irish. 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
2995 Then he threw it at me. Can you believe it?” 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
2996 Do I scare you ? 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
2997 One day in the future your bones will be displayed in a museum for everybody to see." 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
2998 You know I hate your making that seductive Ernest Borgnine face. 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
2999 And they say Saint George still walks these woods.... 1.1429 0.04833 84 75 6 3
3000 No, I don’t know the lyrics to Ring of Fire, we just invented fire five minutes ago. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
3001 Now if you could breathe fire, you might have something. 1.1429 0.05081 91 83 3 5
3002 Augh, stop it! It makes you look like a scary monster. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
3003 You got the look of 'The Abominable Mammal!' 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
3004 Her final attempt was incorrect and just like that, she was locked out of her phone for 90 DAYS! 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
3005 Soon after the ice,humans arrived and..... 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
3006 And then a giant meteor came. 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
3007 Then a giant rock started falling from the sky.... 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
3008 Then they invested it all into WeWork. 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
3009 Why do birds, gradually appear… 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
3010 It would be scary if you weren't smiling 1.1429 0.04835 91 82 5 4
3011 Pretty scary, huh? 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
3012 Whoa! That’s way scarier than that lame-o meteor story 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
3013 I found my flashlight! 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
3014 ...and this is how dinosaurs go extinct. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
3015 Imagine I'm Tucker Carlson. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
3016 This is only our first date. 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
3017 Ok , Jed, I’m scared already. But you’re way scarier to the bipeds without the schtick. 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
3018 You look like Jack Nickleson. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
3019 And then, POOF, we’re extinct! 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
3020 And on his car door... was St George's gauntlet! 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
3021 And then I ate the guy who left his hook in the door. 1.1429 0.04587 98 88 6 4
3022 You looked better without it. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
3023 Oh, hon, the story is scary enough without that. 1.1429 0.05135 77 69 5 3
3024 Listen Harold, you’ve got to stop eating the ones around the dispensaries. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
3025 The rest was fully biodegradable- uh. digestible! 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
3026 You know, you really don’t have to show me how bright you are. 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
3027 It was a bright, calm day 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
3028 This is my audition for Jurassic Park, XX. 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
3029 Go ahead, just wing it. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
3030 Fire breathing is so pre pandemic, I’m all about flash lighting. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
3031 The Boy Scouts thought it was scary before I ate them. 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
3032 And then there was a blinding flash... 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
3033 What's YOUR sign? 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
3034 You think that's fire you're breathing? 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
3035 Let's tell things from the sky stories! 1.1429 0.05493 70 63 4 3
3036 Ooh!, Ooh!, I think got it...Peter, Paul and Mary? 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
3037 Keep your day job, Spike. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
3038 Now, do I look really scary!? 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
3039 Next time we want a romamtic night, I'll scare the kids with this. They'll go running to their beds! 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
3040 For a horrific monster you’re not as scary as Twitter. 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
3041 Maybe you're being funny, but who were those guys with the 'fire"? 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
3042 Do I have any food stuck in my teeth? 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
3043 ...and then there was this big asteroid ... 1.1429 0.04351 98 87 8 3
3044 Soylent Green isn't people!! 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
3045 And then a woman with an asymetrical haircut asked to speak with the manager." 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
3046 I bought it on Tyrannozon. 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
3047 So do I look like mating material or what ? 1.1429 0.04351 98 87 8 3
3048 Eh - it's not nearly as scary as when you stuck it in that hiker's skull. 1.1429 0.03689 91 78 13 0
3049 You know what’s scary? That nose hair. 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
3050 And if you ever read ‘On the Road’ by Jack Kerouac, you’ll find out The Great Valley isn’t even real, Sara. 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
3051 No, your breath's not bad for a dragon, but you might consider some dental implants. 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
3052 … and then this bright flash streaked cross the sky. 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
3053 This was the only non-edible part 1.1414 0.04064 99 87 10 2
3054 Tell me I don't look scarier 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
3055 Do you like my smile? I tried some new teeth whitener today. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
3056 Did you know that in Gondwana they call it a "torch"! 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
3057 "This is even better than the Walkman!" 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
3058 Turn off your torch Darling or Dick Cheney might think you are a Chinese New Year lantern (that’s gone off course) and shoot you down. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
3059 Fire breathing is more scary. 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
3060 So, eat a couple of them and we get a big movie deal. 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
3061 Light my fire...light my fire baby...ya gonna light my fire! 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
3062 Wait. Flashlights haven't been invented yet. How did you. . . ? 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
3063 I know you're there, I can hear you seething. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
3064 I always thought you were the smart one, and I was the scary one. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
3065 Hey, why do you think our hands are so small? 1.1413 0.03652 92 79 13 0
3066 Dinotales 1.1413 0.04528 92 82 7 3
3067 It was a dark and stormy knight... 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
3068 Did you get Botox? 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
3069 And then the meteor came! 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
3070 Save the batteries; I foresee a long dark winter coming." 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
3071 Don’t worry, I bet they blame the missing campers on Sasquatch! 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
3072 It was a dark and Stormy Daniels… 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
3073 I think think you are on to something with this global warming idea! 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
3074 Does my scary flashlight face frighten you Edna? 1.1412 0.04779 85 76 6 3
3075 And then, the human ROARED and raced after me... 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
3076 When the monster crawled from under the bed, it was empty! 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
3077 … and he had GREAT BIG TEETH! 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
3078 …and THE METEOR KILLED EVERYONE!! 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
3079 Do I have any ferns in my teeth, Agnes? 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
3080 And then they gathered our bones and put them in a large room with other bones for strange creatures to pay $30 to gawk at... 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
3081 I told you that dental alignment really works. See? 1.1412 0.04779 85 76 6 3
3082 Am I scary now? 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
3083 And suddenly, a comet... 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
3084 ...and they made sequel; after sequel, after sequel. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
3085 Stego.... ste eh eh go. Stego. 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
3086 Do I have any Triceratops stuck in my teeth? 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
3087 And then two legged mammals took over the planet. 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
3088 You can't tell it's an implant, 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
3089 Stop Bernie, you're scaring me! 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
3090 Nah, no change, you're actually scarier than your shadow. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
3091 Raindrops turned into hail, rivers froze over and icicles formed on the end of their noses... 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
3092 Hey! Are those batteries LITHIUM??? 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
3093 And then … he looked under the bed … and there was … a LITTLE GIRL!!! 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
3094 And then, Tommy, we all die, get called goofy names, and have schoolchildren staring at our bones. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
3095 Not another scary dinosaur story… 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
3096 But Steggie you promised me that as long as we needed fires for light, we wouldn't become extinct! 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
3097 And behind the driver’s seat….an image appeared in the rear view mirror…..Marjorie Taylor Greene!!! 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
3098 Honey, you are the light of my life. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
3099 "This is fun and all but remember we only have a few more hours of battery left" - Benjamin Canales 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
3100 If you would rather we can make this off the record" 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
3101 And when he turned around, there it was, an Accountant! 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
3102 And then, the human jumped out from under the bed!" 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
3103 And this is how I look in daylight 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
3104 Do I have any food on my teeth? 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
3105 And then, a giant asteroid hit the planet and wiped all living creatures out! 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
3106 Stop smiling. You forgot the marshmellows 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
3107 And then then humans came to cut down all the trees. 1.1400 0.04025 100 88 10 2
3108 … and we became the fossil fuel that destroyed the planet. 1.1400 0.04025 100 88 10 2
3109 Anything between my teeth? 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
3110 We have to use this while we can because I have no idea where to get more batteries. 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
3111 And as he brushed away the dirt, he realized it was the left leg of his long-lost love, last seen 66 million years ago. 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
3112 And he was killed by an oxygen-breathing knight. 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
3113 …and then a giant asteroid came down and—” 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
3114 Wildfires... Christmas... Oh no, there goes Tokyo... this time it wasn't Godzilla... but a Jewish laser from outer space! 1.1398 0.04481 93 83 7 3
3115 Many, many years ago, before they became extinct, human beings roamed this planet... 1.1398 0.04481 93 83 7 3
3116 You're preaching to the choir. 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
3117 And then the furry little weaklings rendered the planet unlivable and went extinct! 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
3118 Please, not another story about meteors destroying our world 1.1398 0.04481 93 83 7 3
3119 It almost makes you look human. 1.1398 0.03615 93 80 13 0
3120 They're hideous and smelly and noisy and growly. They're called 'c-h-i-l-D-R-E-N!' Bwaaaaahhhhaaaaaaa! 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
3121 ...and you knew then it was over.. when the purple one would begin the mind numbing, hypnotic death-chant: "I love you, you love me...." 1.1398 0.04735 93 84 5 4
3122 Wonder why they ran off so fast. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
3123 Then the Human … 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
3124 And they called it JURRASIC WORLD!!! 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
3125 Before we ate him, how many flashes did that human say he would give for the all-clear, so the other hikers will come this way? 1.1395 0.04726 86 77 6 3
3126 I send you to Camp Reptile for two weeks and that's all you got? 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
3127 Do you always have to try to look scary when we go camping? 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
3128 Fire…the Flashlight…Scary Stories… Stay Tuned…There's S'More to Come… 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
3129 Twinkle, twinkle, little star…. 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
3130 'Whaddya think? A time traveler dropped it when he saw me.' 1.1395 0.04726 86 77 6 3
3131 enough with the big rock from outerspace kills us all story. 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
3132 And then … there appeared … a … TERRORSAURUS REX! 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
3133 This is how homo sapiens make a scary face! 1.1395 0.04726 86 77 6 3
3134 But you can make shadow figures with this. 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
3135 I can see way up your nose when you do that. 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
3136 Your Jack Nicholson impression is amazing! 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
3137 Weirder yet! After homo erectus evolved,his technology morphed that fire into this flashlight. 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
3138 »You can shut that off, honey, the Age of Enlightenment won’t begin for another 200 million years.« 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
3139 You wanna tell ghost stories?... Oh wait, they don't exist!" "Well neither do we, Harold! 1.1395 0.05007 86 78 4 4
3140 Can you imagine anyone finding THIS FACE scary? Hilarious! 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
3141 This ought to keep those little Wild Things away. 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
3142 You have to see the dentist again! 1.1395 0.04726 86 77 6 3
3143 Most people use their Smartphones for light, but I find the old fashioned flashlight still useful. Guess it makes us dinosaurs! 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
3144 No, Mr. Santos! You promised! You know MTG face gives me nightmares! 1.1395 0.04726 86 77 6 3
3145 Relax son. All that crap about an ice age is just fake news. Anita Barlow, Edmond, OK 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
3146 And they call it the Great Filter! 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
3147 ...it was a dark and stormy night, when a T-rex escaped from captivity..." 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
3148 And then Cersei invented a dragon killing crossbow 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
3149 and thats how we vanished . 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
3150 You have to make this face or someone will believe them and come looking for us. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
3151 Your teeth are yellow. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
3152 …and 6,000 years ago they had to give rides to Jesus. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
3153 ...the meteor missed the Earth, the humans multiplied and covered our planet with avocado toast!" 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
3154 Honey, do you think I should shave first? 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
3155 And then little Jackie Paper from Honah Lee entered puberty... 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
3156 It's only me, Charlie. You look like you've seen a T-Rex. 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
3157 I am sorry, but the fire has gone out of our relationship. 1.1392 0.05010 79 71 5 3
3158 Trust me, Jurassica. Aren't I beautiful? One day I'll be in movies! 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
3159 No dragonflies here! 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
3160 That's what they were doing around their campfire? What did they do when you asked to borrow a flashlight? 1.1392 0.05010 79 71 5 3
3161 You’re right, it does have an enhancing effect. 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
3162 And then...she said, "Dragons are not even real!" 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
3163 And there, in the dark basement, lurked the humans... 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
3164 …And the hatchlings look up at the man in the dark cloak and ask, “Who are you?” and the man says, “They call me… The Asteroid. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
3165 And then, there's this other gadget I threw together- lights up the hieroglyphics really well, but not so good for warmth. 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
3166 And when he woke up, the dinosaur was still there. 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
3167 ...and then the climate-changers arrived to cancel all forms of fire! 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
3168 After the humans dropped the nuke, GODZILLA was born. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
3169 In my photography class, they call this ghoul lighting. 1.1391 0.03682 115 101 12 2
3170 Beware of the singing miniature fairies!! 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
3171 ...and suddenly the human started twerking!!! 1.1389 0.05346 72 65 4 3
3172 Well it's scarier than your 'asteroids will kill us all' story. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
3173 My scary story starts early in my career when I was subbing at McKinley Junior High School, and the kids there kept calling me fake. . . 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
3174 And then the star fell to earth and exploded. 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
3175 It's all right, it's just me. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
3176 Your story isn’t scary and you need a shave. 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
3177 Where are you going to find 4 Double A batteries? 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
3178 I'll get to the meteorite part in a second 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
3179 I’m glad you coughed…that started the fire right up! 1.1389 0.03826 108 95 11 2
3180 This seems the perfect time to tell you….I’m wearing a Dino costume. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
3181 But, it wasn’t skin moisturizer after all! 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
3182 'Hey, I'm Joe! I'm Joe! Look at me!' Hahaha! 1.1386 0.03988 101 89 10 2
3183 Rooooaaaarrrr! 1.1386 0.04229 101 90 8 3
3184 And then... the human ate him" 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
3185 And then came this hairy animal calling himself Homo sapiens 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
3186 Look, my skin cream cleared up my acne and warts. 1.1386 0.03988 101 89 10 2
3187 Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. 1.1386 0.03988 101 89 10 2
3188 Don’t worry Dinah, next month’s gas and electric bills will definitely be lower. 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
3189 And then the humans came and slayed you. 1.1383 0.03580 94 81 13 0
3190 Ewe stop! It makes you look human! 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
3191 It's called...a toddler. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
3192 Then, to a horrified museum crowd, the fossil exploded and my hungry face appeared. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
3193 I hate it when you do that! It's so calming! 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
3194 "You've got a little spinach on your incisor." 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
3195 See,in this light,I'm not just another pretty face! 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
3196 ... and there is a sleeping temperamental monster lurking in the bed above you. 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
3197 No, I’m not from around here! 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
3198 That's not gonna make you any brighter. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
3199 And just before dawn... they take his bones... to a museum for natural history... 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
3200 And then the Ice Age crept in at a glacial pace… 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
3201 He had FOUR toes, I tell ya. 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
3202 And there, hanging from the door handle of the car, was a hand with FIVE fingers! 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
3203 We are in the "End Times." 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
3204 They didn't even have feathers! 1.1379 0.04674 87 78 6 3
3205 Dad, I just don't think it's in our nature to be scared by ghost stories." 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
3206 And then he said, "I'm running again". 1.1379 0.04674 87 78 6 3
3207 Your act is outdated. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
3208 And I didn't even have to rub 2 sticks together! 1.1379 0.04952 87 79 4 4
3209 ... but the scales on the lampshade looked awfully familiar. 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
3210 There are no limits what this monster will do to us and everything that surrounds it; it's called mankind. 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
3211 And Smaug kept all the gold. The end. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
3212 And then,from out of the sky . . . 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
3213 And after the monsters scared all the campers away, they realized that now they were the ones who were all alone… 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
3214 I looked into your future and I saw… chicken nuggets. 1.1379 0.04674 87 78 6 3
3215 Creeeek ...the closet door I'm hiding behind mysteriously opens, then SNATCH! a tiny smooth hand grabs a pink dress. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
3216 Look, Tucker. Now I'm a balloon! 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
3217 I must admit that Botox is doing a wonderful job for you! 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
3218 I suggest plastic surgery. It'll make all the difference. 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
3219 A screaming comes across the sky... 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
3220 Yeah, but you can’t boil an egg. 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
3221 You feel this tapping on your shoulder thinking it’s just a cockroach…you turn around…and it’s a T-Rex..and he’s HUNGRY…! 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
3222 Yes, I did have my teeth cleaned. 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
3223 Meanwhile, a giant rock was speeding toward earth. 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
3224 Is that from wwayyy back in the 19th Century? 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
3225 ...and out of the shadowy darkness emerged a monstrous dinosaur with sharp teeth and large claws - yes, a normal dino, just like us. 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
3226 This is great stuff pal. Did you just drop out of a tree? 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
3227 In my day we had no flashlights 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
3228 And then a giant asteroid lit up the sky as it came plummeting towards the earth. 1.1375 0.04950 80 72 5 3
3229 How scared are you? 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
3230 Then the meteor hit, all of us died, and a bunch of hairless primates took over and made things much worse." 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
3231 Under the bed was a human child! 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
3232 Kumbaya, open-mic all you cold-blooded Mesozoics 1.1375 0.04950 80 72 5 3
3233 Flash Gorgon! 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
3234 They have to file a tax return where they guess the taxes they owe, and if they're wrong, they get taxed more! 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
3235 And then, a bright flash of light appeared in the sky and the world went dark… 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
3236 And he had a fingers in place of a hook. 1.1373 0.03424 102 88 14 0
3237 Suddenly, dozens of cute little bunnies and squirrels and adorable creatures of all kinds appeared and surrounded the monsters, who were frozen with fear as the cuddly critters danced about joyfully and squealed with glee! 1.1373 0.03951 102 90 10 2
3238 Wanna hear a spooky story? 1.1373 0.03951 102 90 10 2
3239 The human was calling from INSIDE the house! 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
3240 They called him George. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
3241 Is my neck too wrinkled? 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
3242 Stop that! You’re scaring me. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
3243 I don't see the difference. 1.1370 0.05276 73 66 4 3
3244 This new invention is awesome but why do I have an overpowering urge to say cheese? 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
3245 Oh great, now I'm going to have a Barney Nightmare 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
3246 Like, boo, bro. 1.1368 0.04391 95 85 7 3
3247 Have you heard the one about... Prince Charming? 1.1368 0.04391 95 85 7 3
3248 Do I have any flesh stuck in my teeth? 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
3249 Joe you are the scary part of the scary story 1.1368 0.04391 95 85 7 3
3250 And then the harmless ichneumon covered himself in mud. 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
3251 "Any Girl Scout between my teeth? 1.1368 0.04391 95 85 7 3
3252 And millions of years later, his grave was robbed... 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
3253 In these woods, here be knights... 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
3254 Yeah, your teeth are fine, but your arms are terribly short. 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
3255 The poor, tired dragon crept forward in the darkness. Slowly...slowly...slowly... he turned the corner (click) AAAAAH, a Girl Scout troop. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
3256 Don't do that. You almost made me crap my log. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
3257 And then a fiery rock appeared in the sky. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
3258 …… and then an asteroid killed them all 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
3259 You look natural in this light 1.1364 0.03532 110 96 13 1
3260 Oh, quit showing off. Just because you made a little camp fire through your mouth. 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
3261 And then, she screamed "Liar!" 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
3262 Keep doing that and you’re going to make me extinct! 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
3263 And then, of the forest stepped a human carrying an assault rifle 1.1364 0.04623 88 79 6 3
3264 Listen, Babe, this is what the shine the light business is all ABOUT 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
3265 Noooo! No more ghost stories! 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
3266 And then 9 billion scary humans killed half of the creatures on the planet! 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
3267 Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
3268 And then I said, Marie, we're facing extinction. 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
3269 ....and that's when she saw the flying rock. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
3270 See? It even makes me look scary ! 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
3271 These onesies are over the top. 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
3272 And the greedy billionaires wouldn’t let the world stop exhuming our bodies for energy! 1.1359 0.03914 103 91 10 2
3273 And then Chris Pratt extended his arms and they COULDN’T MOVE 1.1359 0.04150 103 92 8 3
3274 Your Botox is scaring me. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
3275 If anything, you look a little better. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
3276 ...and then, after awhile, they started saying we had feathers! 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
3277 Hah! One day primitive human scientists won't even realize we could use tools. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
3278 … and then they sucked the bone-soup out of the earth with a straw, and they used it to power their ‘cars’ 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
3279 watching Churrodyrn's dad debase himself for the amusement of children, gagging on the smoke of citronella candles and a poorly built bonfire, Glyndharr realized that he really, really hated the Cub Scouts. years later, he’d realize he was also gay. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
3280 ...."And when they got back to the cave they saw a bloody hook hanging from his tail." 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
3281 This is very entertaining but what else do you suppose we might use this thing for? 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
3282 It’s great - I flash them a smile - And guess what hits the fan ? - 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
3283 George is my name. Saint George 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
3284 And then the gleaming metal figure crept closer...and closer... 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
3285 Candidly, it looked better when those campers we ate were doing it. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
3286 No Gary, I didn't pack the smores 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
3287 And that's when I said it'll be tears before bedtime. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
3288 It was a dark and stormy night when Jackie Paper came no more, and Puff, the mighty dragon, lost his mighty roar. 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
3289 My doctor says my BMI is too high. Can you see me doing Pilates at my age, Agnes? 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
3290 Aaand we became chickens... 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
3291 My name is Trump, from the Trump swamp! 1.1354 0.04348 96 86 7 3
3292 Ok I'll bite... An Illumisaurus? 1.1354 0.03511 96 83 13 0
3293 Twilight was falling over the sleepy town of Bedrock…. 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
3294 'You've changed your mind about me haven't you? You want our parents to find us..' 1.1354 0.04348 96 86 7 3
3295 I don’t care. It’s not good for the environment. 1.1354 0.03810 96 84 11 1
3296 If you think this is scary, you should see what humans look like. 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
3297 This is an old one! Did someone err?! 1.1354 0.04348 96 86 7 3
3298 The big question is Jurassic Park or Jurassic World? 1.1354 0.03810 96 84 11 1
3299 This is how I show my face to the knight. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
3300 How much longer will this drag on? 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
3301 Then along came....BEOWULF! 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
3302 These new firefly batteries are great! 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
3303 And when he woke he discovered to his horror that it was . . . the MONKEY'S PAW!!! 1.1351 0.05207 74 67 4 3
3304 You're such a drag-on! 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
3305 And then... they'll invent... TAXES!!! 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
3306 you for got to floss!! 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
3307 'It was a dark and stormy Mesozoic era' 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
3308 You're wasting the batteries, Dino. 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
3309 ...after the tweezers, comes hot wax... 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
3310 And then the Abominable Snowclown whispered, "We all freeze down here..." 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
3311 Can you believe it? The princess said I wasn't scarry enough to kidnap her! 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
3312 It's a big improvement. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
3313 But they didn't fossilize and were made into bone meal for backyard gardens. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
3314 I can not understand why humans are afraid of us 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
3315 And that's what would happen if hairless apes ruled the planet, mwahahahaha! 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
3316 Suddenly, Marjorie Taylor Greene comes out of the shadows... 1.1348 0.04573 89 80 6 3
3317 Submitted for the approval of The Meteorite Society 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
3318 …and none of us will survive. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
3319 This will help you overcome your Little Jackie Paper syndrome, Puff. 1.1348 0.04573 89 80 6 3
3320 OK, Eddie Murphy Meets Godzilla. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
3321 Do I have any troll left between my teeth? 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
3322 Wow, you are a shadow of yourself! 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
3323 Now, this is a tale about two beasts, a large magical candle and a family of evil killer moths. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
3324 Want to tell a ghost story? 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
3325 Jeez Larry, that's a scary story. But what the hell is a hobbit? 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
3326 This next one's a zombie story. I call it...The Tale of Jurassic Park 1.1348 0.04573 89 80 6 3
3327 Karaoke night. 1.1348 0.04845 89 81 4 4
3328 The children were poisoned… and all of the dragons got tummy aches! 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
3329 If you listen closely, you can hear the grunting of the fierce and terrible creature they call "mountain biker." 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
3330 Lookie here, I'm a smiling televangelist. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
3331 And this is why I don't use tinder. 1.1341 0.04835 82 74 5 3
3332 Daryl, stop it, the kids will never get to sleep tonight 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3333 It's not as scary when YOU tell it... 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3334 Big deal, they invented fire but check this out. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
3335 Geeze, that's scary. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3336 And then the comet hit and killed them all! 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
3337 The bonfire gives me second thoughts about being cold-blooded; I bet even my gums are rosy, if my crotch is any indication. 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
3338 And then he pulled off his mask and there was a HUMAN inside! 1.1341 0.04835 82 74 5 3
3339 …and they held dominion over the whole planet and then…. They ruined it all!! 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3340 Agghhh, you look like a human! 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
3341 Would you look at that, No more forest fires or Gee, where did you get that gadget? There's a Walmart near the lake. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
3342 Tastes just like chicken used to taste! 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
3343 This is directly from the future for tonight’s dining when I will cook you and eat you, my lovely 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
3344 i am gonna kill ringo starr 1.1341 0.04835 82 74 5 3
3345 And the boy only ever wanted to train the dragon... 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
3346 As if Season 8 of Game of Thrones wasn’t bad enough, Jon Snow kills our Mother!” 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3347 And then, them mammals, put us in coops and ate our eggs for breakfast! 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
3348 To eat or to be eaten, that is the question. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3349 This is how I scared Mama before we made you! 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
3350 ...and MTG became president and giant balloons dropped bird flu spores everywhere and that's how we took over again. 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
3351 And all that remained was a euphemism for boomers 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3352 And then...the asteroid quietly snuck up on the planet and went........BOOOOM! 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3353 Are you sure we have extra batteries in the car? 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
3354 ...and then rose the fierce humans who poluted and destroyed the planet...leaving nothing but wasteland...mwahahahahaha! 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3355 Studies show that global temperature averages are dropping at an unprecedented rate. Soon, we will perish and nature will reclaim Earth's one continent. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3356 It was cold-blooded murder… or maybe warm-blooded? No one knows for sure. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3357 „And he didn’t know that he left a coffee stain on the table!“ 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
3358 ... but then the Linkedin announces appeared... 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
3359 ...and then the asteroid streaked across the sky! 1.1340 0.03773 97 85 11 1
3360 I get it now; we can look pretty scary. 1.1340 0.03773 97 85 11 1
3361 He was a hot diggity dog! 1.1340 0.04048 97 86 9 2
3362 And then the humans escaped from the park! 1.1340 0.03477 97 84 13 0
3363 Our rotting bodies will one day provide the energy for this light 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
3364 Then he called them chickens and turned them into small birds 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
3365 And then Hollywood refuses to give us any royalties! 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
3366 And then the evil Central Bankers raised the interest rate AGAIN! 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
3367 Oh grow up! 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
3368 Clink clank. Clink clank. And there it was! A man in shiny metal. 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
3369 Wait, what’s a landline? 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
3370 It was a free gift with the book I bought on the next mass extinction. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
3371 It was a dark and stormy night...when a human was heard in the bushes. 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
3372 Hey, tf you get a torch? 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
3373 A man’s nuts roasting on an open fire! What could be better! 1.1333 0.04777 75 67 6 2
3374 Could you take a look at my teeth? I think I have a plaque build up. 1.1333 0.04777 75 67 6 2
3375 Come on, they made a movie about it! 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
3376 Do I have any spinach in my teeth? 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
3377 Stop it, Drac! You know the ghost of St. George gives me nightmares. 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
3378 ...and then she ordered the fried Cajun alligator. 1.1333 0.03603 90 78 12 0
3379 And then the heavily-armed human monster crept up to the campsite. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
3380 And then the vegans inherited the earth. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
3381 So, do I look Brad-Pitt scary or just Hugh-Jackman scary? 1.1333 0.04525 90 81 6 3
3382 Honey, Real dinosaurs use real torches" 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
3383 I bet they'll wet their pants with this one! 1.1333 0.05141 75 68 4 3
3384 And this little baby is up all night letting out a terrifying scream... 1.1333 0.03603 90 78 12 0
3385 You don't have to believe all that propaganda about being "cold-blooded." 1.1333 0.03603 90 78 12 0
3386 ...and then, they put it all together and call it a 'hot-dog' 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
3387 And then Burger Rex 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
3388 Then, all of a sudden, a giant meteor hit the earth! 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
3389 Then a meteor fell from the sky and annihilated all the good species on Earth. 1.1333 0.03603 90 78 12 0
3390 Yeah, the lotion is working. Really diminishes the scales. 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
3391 Surprise! 1.1333 0.04777 75 67 6 2
3392 Norman, right now I'm cold and scared. Keep it up and I'll be petrified. 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
3393 You see, because they took care of and treasured the planet, there was no pollution, no bombs, no meltdowns...cousin Godzilla never existed! 1.1333 0.05141 75 68 4 3
3394 And then the Great Asteroid came… 1.1327 0.04503 98 89 5 4
3395 Wake up! It’s time to start Kraken. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
3396 And the paleontologist kept scraping and scraping until nothing remained but the bare bones ! 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
3397 I'm scared our lives are just Kabuki, and not enough actual terror. 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
3398 It wasn’t scary the first time Steve. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
3399 And on the door handle of a car was a meteorite heading straight for Earth... 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
3400 It's gonna take CGI... your special effects aren't working. 1.1325 0.04779 83 75 5 3
3401 and now I make my super-scary toxic masculinity face 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
3402 And then they began a mad search for our decomposing, liquid bodies and harvest them using giant straws in order to destroy the entire planet! 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
3403 And then a comprehensive inheritance tax passed the Senate. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
3404 I think the plastic surgeon did a great job with my eyes, don't you? 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
3405 And then the waitress came out with a SALAD!!! 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
3406 It was a dark and meteor-filled night. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
3407 It's important that we're seen in the right light" Steven Zanetis, Olney, IL 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
3408 Let’s tell human stories. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
3409 One night a dark and stormy night, 2 monsters sat by an open fire and one said to the other, ' let me tell you a story' and so he began! One night... 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
3410 Got the sun in the morning and the moon at night 1.1325 0.04779 83 75 5 3
3411 Will you stop that? You're scaring away all our supper. 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
3412 And then the meteor crashed... 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
3413 The dad joke is traced back to itsearly stages. 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
3414 ...and then the MAGA zombies took over the world. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
3415 And then, and THEN, a gigantic asteroid came closer and closer... 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
3416 If I do this long enough Batman will show up. He said he's going to sue me. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
3417 And then he took a step back and landed on the Oculus!! 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
3418 See? Who needs opposable thumbs? 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
3419 He was trapped in a metal box and forced to jump over cacti for sport… 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
3420 Hunter! Biden’s! Laptop! 1.1321 0.04038 106 95 8 3
3421 Do I have something caught in my teeth? 1.1319 0.04477 91 82 6 3
3422 Tell the one about the human in the closet, please Daddy? 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
3423 Enough of the scary stories, Harry. I won't be able to sleep tonight!! 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
3424 You are still using that for a flashlight? 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
3425 Am I cute? 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
3426 And then he held the flashlight like this and told his children, "OOooh, that's not wind in the leaves. That's the hissing of forest monsters. 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
3427 And then he said, "The call is coming from inside the house!" 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
3428 Here, take the torch, you never know what could be out there" 1.1319 0.04477 91 82 6 3
3429 Please stop...you scared the pants off of me! 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
3430 Out from the bushes rolled the shadowy figure - it was the asteroid that killed the young dino's parents! 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
3431 …all pink and fleshy, it stepped into the lagoon… 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
3432 …and that’s when Steve became a herbivore. 1.1319 0.04477 91 82 6 3
3433 And one day, a producer from HBO came to talk to me…. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
3434 The call was coming from inside the castle!" 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
3435 Mothra should be here any minute now. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
3436 Yes, St. George is back, and this time with his M67 flamethrower tank 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
3437 Cold compresses didn't work either—for God's sake, I look like my grandmother! 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
3438 Simon Cowell! 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
3439 And then a meteor fell from the sky. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
3440 I see you like buttercups! 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
3441 Shine your world! 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
3442 See how invisible my invisible aligner is? 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
3443 How dinosaurs became extinct. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
3444 My name is Trump, and I'm here to kill you! 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
3445 ... and when they got home, they found a hook on the door handle! 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
3446 And as he sunk deeper into the tar, an asteroid lit up the sky. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
3447 The light gives me a better jawline . 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
3448 And then he realized…the call was coming from inside the lair! 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
3449 And humans think its them who discovered fire 1.1313 0.04222 99 89 7 3
3450 Me first. Ok, I dare you to become extinct. Go! 1.1313 0.03970 99 88 9 2
3451 Don’t waste your breath! 1.1313 0.03970 99 88 9 2
3452 Once upon a time, there was this young dinosaur who lived in the woods alone. Then one day the big bad climate change came along and …poof! He was gone! 1.1313 0.04222 99 89 7 3
3453 You're scaring me back to the stone ages and you know how scary they are! 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
3454 Scared you, didn't I? 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
3455 But everyone denied there was large scale climate change... 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
3456 Batteries will stop global cooling in our lifetimes. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
3457 And then the giant meteor appeared. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
3458 And then–they put his skull on his butt 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
3459 It's an artifact from a previous civilisation, one of those experiments in evolution that failed. 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
3460 Then on the marge of Lake Lebarge I consumed Mr. Sam McGee. 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
3461 And there was no one on top of the bed." 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
3462 …And then in the 90s they came out with A REMAKE! 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
3463 And look-just once a day for ten minutes for blemish free skin! 1.1310 0.04724 84 76 5 3
3464 Do I have any Knight in my teeth? 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
3465 I love your Gary Busey. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
3466 will you marry me? 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
3467 Newsflash- that’s just going to make it easier for the asteroids to find us. 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
3468 See how this makes me look scary? 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
3469 A long long time in the future, humans roamed the earth.... 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
3470 This is my Artificial Intelligence face. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
3471 Your face is scarier without it. 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
3472 And then she said, “whatever you do, don’t look up!” 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
3473 ...and the blood will become... BLACK! 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
3474 …and the creatures who called themselves ‘human beings’ consumed and destroyed the entire planet! 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
3475 I’m a very scary human, eh? 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
3476 A-s-t-e-r-i-o-d 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
3477 And then I said, 'Look at these teeth: have you ever seen a mouthful of teeth that look better than these?' 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
3478 STOP IT!! I’m freezing and you want to play Boogy Man with that flashlight!! 1.1304 0.05428 69 63 3 3
3479 Then, the night sky lit up, and a giant asteroid slammed into Earth, only killing the little dinosaurs--Arhhhh! 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
3480 And then, out of the sky, an asteroid! 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
3481 Did I ever tell you about the time I auditioned for Dragon Tales? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
3482 It reminds me of your breath. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
3483 Those campers were delicious. 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
3484 And then the meteor HIT the earth! 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
3485 And at the end of his little arm was a giant hook! 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
3486 My God, you've got to see a dentist !" David Chan, Brookline, MA 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
3487 Does this make me look more frightening? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
3488 You’d think we would get some credit for inventing the flashlights 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
3489 So, where to I log in to get a log to sit on? 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
3490 There's hiker in your teeth. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
3491 And then the Texas oilman who bought your skeleton on a whim gave it to his dogs!!!!! 1.1304 0.03530 92 80 12 0
3492 And when I woke up, the lizard was still there! 1.1304 0.03530 92 80 12 0
3493 I TOLD you the batteries from our self-gratification sexual device would work in the flashlight. 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
3494 ...and the asteroid came and killed them all! 1.1300 0.04181 100 90 7 3
3495 Is there any human stuck in my teeth? 1.1300 0.03667 100 88 11 1
3496 And just as I broke past the park fence, fighting for our historic freedom, I saw the oppressor creatures in rolling boxes, and then Bam!... there were bright lights shining into my eyes! 1.1300 0.04181 100 90 7 3
3497 And then, in the flickering firelight, the dragon campers could just barely make out the hideous figure of... Saint George... 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
3498 ....and then the 50-foot woman jumped out of the forest, flashing a couple of things I'd never seen before! 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
3499 ...where he saw not one but TWO humans on top of the bed!! 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
3500 If you thought Jurassic Park was scary, wait until I tell you about ...Triassic Park! 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
3501 Overture, hit the lights... 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
3502 And they think they’re so smart! 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
3503 Call the dentist for a cleaning George 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
3504 Jeez... What did the Japanese ever do to you? 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
3505 The hideous human threw back it's head and howled, pouncing on the keg... 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
3506 And then, the astrophysicist said, "A giant meteor is heading our way!" 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
3507 This should scare off those two-legged beasts 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
3508 It was invented by a specie that wiped themselves out in the 21st century. 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
3509 And just as I was about to ravish her, a knight in shining armor galloped up! 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
3510 They call it a flashlight. It is a fad. It will not last, especially since we have fire! 1.1299 0.05012 77 70 4 3
3511 It's from the future store. Meh. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
3512 Little mammals with big brains called humans will roam the earth in a few years… 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
3513 And then! They put you in their car! And the car goes vroom vroom! Until the planet goes boom boom! 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
3514 Thump thump, thump thump, it got louder, and louder... 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
3515 Now the multimedia version of the tale! 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
3516 Throw light. Make Meteor! Boom! 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
3517 What happened, did your flame warranty run out? 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
3518 ... and then he smote St George and all the creatures of the forest rejoiced! 1.1296 0.03742 108 96 10 2
3519 Are you serious? This was your bright idea. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
3520 And then a giant asteroid crashed into the earth! 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
3521 ...and that Ice Age is Right. Behind. You!! 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
3522 ... and then I ate him up in one gulp! 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
3523 'And when you fall asleep, I'm coming for you,' said the asteroid. 1.1294 0.04671 85 77 5 3
3524 Dragon 1: Stop telling scary monster stories…camping isn’t fun with you! Dragon 2: Hee hee hee hee ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha… 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
3525 They threw this at me while they were running away... how rude! 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
3526 I hate sports! 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
3527 Then King Kong told Mothra he was so hungry he could eat a tasty young dinosaur. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
3528 We need to build it bigger when the ice age comes 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
3529 You'll love this one. It's about a comet ... 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
3530 That story's gonna give you so many nightmares after we develop complex emotions. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
3531 Stop it, Bob - you're scaring me. You know I don't like when you do that, especially when we're camping and it's dark. But the flashlight makes it clear that you haven't been flossing as I've asked you to do many times. Grow up, Dude. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
3532 … and then the tiny warm furry creature Bobby didn’t step on evolved and evolved and finally its ancestors dug up Bobby’s bones and put them in a museum. 1.1294 0.04671 85 77 5 3
3533 No, no Sweetheart…it doesn’t make you look fat! 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
3534 Wanna hear a spiky tale 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
3535 C'mon, Derek. You promised. 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
3536 And then came the caveman with a spear this long. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
3537 The scarier thing was your feet 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
3538 It looks like where the missile entered has healed. 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
3539 Isn't it scary enough that we're lost in the woods filled with humans? 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
3540 And dangling right at the end of her tail…they saw….a fire extinguisher! 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
3541 Seriously George? 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
3542 We must be twins! 1.1294 0.04671 85 77 5 3
3543 And the humans called it... INSTAGRAM! 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
3544 Man those guys weren’t kidding. This fire thing is no joke. 1.1294 0.04671 85 77 5 3
3545 Thump, thump, draaaag. Thump, thump, draaaag. 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
3546 ...and the little boy came out from under the bed and said "BOO!" 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
3547 Mwahahaha! 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
3548 You're lighting up the sky. I can't see the stars anymore. 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
3549 And instead of breathing fire, all that comes out of their mouths are headlines of articles they didn’t read! 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
3550 Rrraagghhhh! I'm an asteroid 1.1287 0.03896 101 90 9 2
3551 I am scared in the dark. 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
3552 You should have swiped left. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
3553 Just no substitute for good batteries 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
3554 And then, the cockroach began to fly!" 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
3555 Just not in front of the kids--you'll scare the daylight out of them. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
3556 Very nice, Marjorie, but you were a lot scarier during the State of the Union. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
3557 ... but the meteor just kept getting closer! 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
3558 The creature also stood on two legs. But instead of beautiful scales, brown grass covered its tiny, hideous body. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
3559 And now I will tell you the story about how the humans went extinct! 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
3560 …and it got colder…and Colder…AND COLDER…! 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
3561 It was the hideous face of a H-U- M-A-N. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
3562 This has got to be the answer to cold weather! 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
3563 You're right. This is dull. Let's take the outer cage off the Bug Zapper! 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
3564 Do you think I could make money playing banjo on YouTube if I wear makeup? 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
3565 Why you hide here? , what is the problem ? Nothing it is very cold Basharmal Qazi,Chicago IL 60659 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
3566 And next I envision night baseball! 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
3567 Suddenly they looked through the trees and this gigantic meteor was hurtling directly towards them. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
3568 Cheap flashlights over-emphasize your chartreuse tones. 1.1282 0.04950 78 71 4 3
3569 It wasn't a cold snap, like everyone thought ... it was an ice age! 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
3570 Think that makes you look scarier? 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
3571 William hated camping, but he knew how important this was to Geraldine. She had been so distant since her diagnosis. He tried, but he just didn't have the energy to pretend he hadn't heard the story of her colonoscopy a thousand times before. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
3572 Dino-Light! 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
3573 Those campers are giving me indigestion. 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
3574 And then a comet came out of nowhere! 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
3575 I use this sparingly you know, SilverTail, ‘cause batteries are yet to be invented here. 1.1282 0.04950 78 71 4 3
3576 My teeth are bigger than yours! Submitted by Elizabeth Waldorf eswaldorf@gmail.com 1.1282 0.04950 78 71 4 3
3577 And I was found on the door step of the fire station 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
3578 We're cold blooded. 1.1282 0.04950 78 71 4 3
3579 Does this make me look fierce? 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
3580 Then our dead corpses they burnt to the atmosphere will have the final laugh 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
3581 ...but, when Godzilla reached the city, he found everyone had moooooved to the subuuuuuuuurbs! 1.1282 0.04950 78 71 4 3
3582 ..and they call it .... QUORN 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
3583 And when they woke up, the kid was still there 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
3584 And then North America split off of Pangaea 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
3585 Doesn't it make me look just like a scary Boy Scout Troop Leader ? 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
3586 I switched to DinoWhite toothpaste. Can you tell? 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
3587 She crept out of the darkness and said "If you don't stay out of my tar pits, I'll turn you into a bird" 1.1279 0.04619 86 78 5 3
3588 Stop telling them where to aim! 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
3589 Year after year after year....they kept following a giant orange baby to their inevitable doom 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
3590 HELLO! I'm what the humans call a " Flasher." 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
3591 And then the knight brandished his sword… 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
3592 I’ll be here all week. 1.1279 0.04619 86 78 5 3
3593 There once were creatures called humans... 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
3594 And then little hairy men threw boulders at our children! 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
3595 So who’s the big chicken? 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
3596 Surprise! I ate the rest of the boy scouts. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
3597 Then this huge asteroid starts barreling toward earth. 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
3598 Okay, so you thought the Jabberwocky was bad, prepare yourself, for my terrifying tale of … the Human! 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
3599 If we die, do you think anyone will remember our contributions? 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
3600 And then the operator said "The phone call is coming from INSIDE YOUR STOMACH!!!" 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
3601 Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of men. The Shadow knows. 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
3602 Tell me the one when you ate the ghost. 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
3603 What comes after extinction? IDK- what? Y- stinction!! LOL..and what comes after y- stinction? Ugh- z- stinction? No! Z-end! Where is that asteriod?? 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
3604 Let me tell you how I left my 9-5 job to become financially independent 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
3605 The elders told tales of Armageddon, when a giant asteroid would end all dinosaur life 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
3606 No, I didn't mean this kind of "flash" 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
3607 And then St. George slew the last remaining dragon in all of England, and left his bones to bleach in the sun… 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
3608 Look, Lizzy. No more chin hair, courtesy of my dermatologist. 1.1277 0.04068 94 84 8 2
3609 Look Jeff, I look like that weird thing that was following us yesterday. 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
3610 It may be a smaller carbon foot print but I miss the part where you breath fire. 1.1277 0.03460 94 82 12 0
3611 When he woke up,the dinosaur was still there. 1.1277 0.03460 94 82 12 0
3612 Do you want the absolutely terrifying version or the scaled-down version? 1.1277 0.03460 94 82 12 0
3613 We're sitting by a fire AND we breathe fire...ooOOOoooOo...Irony. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
3614 There will be no trigger warnings about our extinction either. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
3615 You're so immature. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
3616 Those poor people watched a prequel series after the last show did that to them? Just because we were in it? That’s isn’t scary, that’s sad!” 1.1268 0.04885 71 64 5 2
3617 That's not what they mean by "Hollywood" lighting. 1.1268 0.04885 71 64 5 2
3618 Who do I look like? 5 seconds! 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
3619 Two million years from now, an unheard of species will claim they invented flashlights, and harnessed fire first. SCARY! 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
3620 It's not scary, Bob. All I can think of is Conan O'Brien and the 'Year 2000' bit. 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
3621 Do you know any stories that AREN'T about inflation? 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
3622 And the next day guess what he found hanging from the door handle? A bloody hook. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
3623 Do I have any pine needles in my teeth? 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
3624 See, the magic light stick makes everyone look like a monster!! 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
3625 This was how he was holding the torch before I ate him…. 1.1268 0.05649 71 66 1 4
3626 It’s supposed to make me look ghoulish! 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
3627 It would be more scary if you didn’t have a knight stuck in your teeth 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
3628 You're going to run down the batter and then the monsters can get us. 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
3629 ...and that is how you'll become extinct. 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
3630 … then, all those tiny rodents rear up on their hind legs, grow 100 times bigger, and take over the entire world. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
3631 Well, I guess he's the one. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
3632 Stop doing that -- you look just like a hominid. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
3633 And, as the giant ape, came at me, I grabbed Kong, tossing the primate, over my head, and spun the big primate, in the air, on one finger! And, that's how we won, the 'Rumble in the Jungle' dance contest."' 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
3634 You're in dire need of a toothpick. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
3635 Yes, you look very scary, but frankly you don't need the light. 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
3636 Then a huge asteroid with a fearful grimace fell down from the starry night sky. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
3637 And then he said: "when you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see?" 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
3638 ...Suddenly, we were struck by huge fireballs. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
3639 It was a dark and stormy night and scary humanoid creatures roamed the land. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
3640 And then a meteor struck and we all died. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
3641 You look so much like Grandma Edna in that light. 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
3642 And then he saw the giant asteroid! 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
3643 Ew, stop! That makes you look human! 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
3644 If you smile, they're more tender, thus, easy on the molars. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
3645 That thing could make anything look terrifying. 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
3646 For the last time, Earl, you're not a BEARDED dragon. 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
3647 Mom's stories were more about ghosts and less about our bones being on display in glass boxes. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
3648 And that was the end of the Mesozoic Era. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
3649 The T Rex had a hook. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
3650 This is the last time I'm doing shrooms with you. 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
3651 The calls had been coming from inside the lair! The murderous caller was in the upstairs lair with the hatchlings the whole time! 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
3652 And there I was, neck-deep in tar with nary a dry cleaner. 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
3653 ...and then he tried to blow out the candles on his cake! 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
3654 And then St George screamed and ran away 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
3655 And to this day, many still believe that a giant asteroid is heading towards us causing total extinction ! 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
3656 I bet if I eat this, I'll be glowing from the inside. 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
3657 I was warned that you're quite the flirt. 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
3658 Now this one is about the hairless apes that live in the center of the Earth. 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
3659 ...and all they found was a hook...on a tiny, tiny arm. 1.1264 0.04568 87 79 5 3
3660 And then the meteor came hurdling through the atmosphere and landed on a big round planet, obliterating everything to smithereens! Herman...you look worried. 1.1264 0.03584 87 76 11 0
3661 Did that scar you ? 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
3662 …and then they elected Donald Trump! 1.1264 0.04568 87 79 5 3
3663 Okay, here goes. Puff the magic dragon... 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
3664 And then Mothra threw me into the power lines. 1.1264 0.03584 87 76 11 0
3665 I told you living off Grid would be fun. 1.1264 0.03584 87 76 11 0
3666 Did you heard the one about the meteorite...? 1.1264 0.03584 87 76 11 0
3667 ... and just as I was creeping up behind Galahad and Marian's horse, I grabbed the saddle stirrup, they all freaked out and took off, ripping my right arm right off at the elbow!!! 1.1264 0.04568 87 79 5 3
3668 Seriously...you're freakin' me out! 1.1263 0.03426 95 83 12 0
3669 Let's tell scary human stories! 1.1263 0.03739 95 84 10 1
3670 Let me guess, Hollywood called. 1.1263 0.04027 95 85 8 2
3671 And the knight slayed the dragon! 1.1263 0.04027 95 85 8 2
3672 ...and then a big fireball fell in the ocean. 1.1263 0.04027 95 85 8 2
3673 I've been told I look even prettier by candle light. 1.1263 0.04027 95 85 8 2
3674 Hmm, I think you need to brush again. 1.1263 0.03426 95 83 12 0
3675 Do I have something stuck between my teeth? 1.1262 0.03824 103 92 9 2
3676 And they said the word we all fear the most...Reboot! 1.1250 0.04492 80 72 6 2
3677 Aw, c'mon! When the human I ate did this for his friends, they at least pretended to be scared! 1.1250 0.03789 104 93 9 2
3678 Well, it does make you look more handsome. I'll give you that. 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
3679 Want to hear my eerie story about humans? 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
3680 You are your own ghost story 1.1250 0.03546 88 77 11 0
3681 ...then the paladin attacked with a Vicious Sword and rolled a natural 20. The DM and paladin argued whether the crit was an extra 2d6 slashing damage or 1d10 secondary damage. The bard and druid waited and ate an entire jumbo bag of blue Takis. 1.1250 0.04518 88 80 5 3
3682 Your teeth don’t bother me, it’s your breath that knocks me out! 1.1250 0.04831 80 73 4 3
3683 In the year two THOUsand, in the year two thousAND. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
3684 Get your toes away from the fire. 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
3685 Then, St. George got angry... 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
3686 Get out, the roar is coming from inside the cave! 1.1250 0.04492 80 72 6 2
3687 And then it just came to me in a flash. 1.1250 0.04492 80 72 6 2
3688 This doesn’t taste as good as the entire! 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
3689 Anything but The Monkey's Paw again. Please! 1.1250 0.04518 88 80 5 3
3690 It's called Montreal Bronto Seasoning. You'll love it. 1.1250 0.03393 96 84 12 0
3691 ...and it will be called Internet 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
3692 Two negatives make one positive. 1.1250 0.04492 80 72 6 2
3693 Let me put these clues together: 'I'm a very large city near Osaka...' 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
3694 Turn that light off before the meteor sees it. 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
3695 …and they sleep—ON TOP—of the bed! 1.1250 0.03546 88 77 11 0
3696 She has short painted fingernails, a pony tail, and she wears knee high socks. But when you must most fear Bethany is when she gets tired in a grocery store. 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
3697 And then out of nowhere, appears a snipe with a flashlight... (click) Bahahahahaha!! 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
3698 It was at that very embarrassing moment Rex finally understood why his mother had always told him to act his Age. 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
3699 Then from the dark emerges...CHRIS PRATT! 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
3700 And their little bodies were pink, they were covered with fabric, and made weird noises from their mouths…. 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
3701 I’m not trying to scare you, but I see impending doom. 1.1250 0.03702 96 85 10 1
3702 Oooo,more teeth! More teeth! 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
3703 This is less painful than your facial method. 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
3704 And then there was a Princess. 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
3705 And then… the comets rained down from the sky! 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
3706 Or … “Don’t shine that torch about! There’s a real danger those meat-eating dinosaurs out there Mighthavesaurus!” 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
3707 Yes the teeth whitening is spectacular but still not as romantic as the moon glow 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
3708 Steve, are we the monster?" -Lucas Torre, 13 years ol 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
3709 Oooooowooooo! 1.1250 0.03702 96 85 10 1
3710 Scarey, yes. And a tad pathetic. 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
3711 Ma! How much do I get for a molar? 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
3712 …and suddenly, the humans started discussing the real estate market. 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
3713 I know that’s not part of the story, but look at what a great job Dr. Schwartz did with my overbite 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
3714 And then they cooked themselves 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
3715 And then, suddenly, out of nowhere, a meteor appeared, hurtling toward the earth..." 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
3716 So this is how tonight’s dinner tried to scare me off. 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
3717 More scary ghost stories? You promised we would toast marshmallows. 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
3718 and then, from under the bed, crawled a mammal ! 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
3719 'And it's name was ... Chicxulub!' 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
3720 My name is Dave, I'll be your waiter. 1.1250 0.05210 72 66 3 3
3721 ..and on a night just like this, a giant meteor… 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
3722 And then, one gray night, little Jackie came no more. 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
3723 That light accentuates your double chin. 1.1250 0.04492 80 72 6 2
3724 And then the lady said, "I'm not a damsel in distress, I source leathers for handbag designers!" 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
3725 Stop it Doug,you’re scaring the crap outta me! 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
3726 ...and then Sir Lancelot crept up from behind... 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
3727 Take a good look…we will scare them even a million years after today 1.1250 0.03987 96 86 8 2
3728 Then the Grand Raptors warned that our methane discharges will destroy the planet. 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
3729 I still think you should get a ring light for your podcast. 1.1250 0.04831 80 73 4 3
3730 Excuse me, but do I have any villager stuck in my teeth? 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
3731 See? Fear is a matter of perspective 1.1250 0.04492 80 72 6 2
3732 Before he could run, the Tar Beast had him by the leg! 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
3733 And then they decided to make a SIXTH Jurassic Park film… 1.1237 0.03360 97 85 12 0
3734 ...and then the knight in shining armor slayed the dragon, rescued the fair princess...and they lived happily ever after! 1.1237 0.03360 97 85 12 0
3735 And they had cars and guns and machines. And they cut down trees and dumped trash in the ocean!!! 1.1237 0.03666 97 86 10 1
3736 And what did you think when you first saw a human being? 1.1237 0.03360 97 85 12 0
3737 And then lo and behold, a big asteroid appeared out of nowhere . . . 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
3738 Skip to the end, Dad. It's getting buggy. 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
3739 SMILE: This is Your Life 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
3740 ...and then the humans sucked up our liquefied corpses and burned them for fuel! 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
3741 And then this astroid comes out of nowhere . . . 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
3742 Oh, Dino. You saw Humans do that to scare their children. What monsters. 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
3743 And then the meteor destroyed all life as we know it! 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
3744 And then we became nuggets 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3745 And then the Mammal said; "I'll eat up all of your eggs!" 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
3746 I am the viper. Does anyone want their vindows viped? 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
3747 I know it's scary! I look just like a human! 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
3748 And then, they would sit at a desk and work from dawn to dusk... 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
3749 ... and finally one brave iguanodon looked up, and called, 'the asteroid is passing us by'! 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3750 ...when suddenly, the ugly scary human yelled...BOO! 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
3751 Gross. You should floss after eating campers. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3752 That story is not as scary as your face! 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3753 This story is called “The Damsel’s Revenge”! 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3754 I’m here all week, but as you can see evolution may catch up with me soon. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3755 I wrote Walk the Dinosaur for the Flintstones 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3756 Well it all started with a tsunami and nuclear disaster in Japan, then a few years later, the orange man came… 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3757 Is this what global warming looks like? 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3758 Make a wish if you see a falling meteor 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3759 Impressive. Very nice. Now let's see Andrew the Pooh's cock. 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
3760 And they had five toes, and no tail! 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3761 You're beaming, honey. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3762 Then we lost our wings thanks to natural selection. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3763 The story was OK, but what's that really scary light saber you're holding? 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
3764 … and then Steven Spielberg cast them in a movie. 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
3765 And then the monster said, “Wanna buy some thin mints?” 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3766 Here's one for you - 'One dark night a dinosaur was sitting by the fire he had started and in the moonlight, he saw a knight on horseback coming closer and closer ...' " 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3767 They tell you asteroids aren’t real… well think AGAIN!! 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
3768 And then Mercury went into retrograde AGAIN!!! 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
3769 And then they made a bag out of it. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
3770 Look how scary I am, grr 1.1233 0.04756 73 66 5 2
3771 Punxsutawney Dino saw his shadow hence there’s 6 more millenniums of winter. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
3772 Need a light? 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
3773 You look better. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
3774 Trust me, Lou, breathing fire is a lot scarier. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
3775 I always knew that rubbing two sticks together was bound to go the way of the dodo. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
3776 Once upon a time, ten-fingered beasts walked the earth... 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
3777 … And then in the not too distant future, maybe next week or even tomorrow, a giant meteor … 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
3778 And the big scary fireball in the sky came from CHINA! 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
3779 I just know that between this drink and fire our descendants have it made. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
3780 Faster, faster” cried Jeff Goldblu 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
3781 Your asteroid story is the scariest thing I've ever heard! 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
3782 That's crazy! You really think that in the future they'll be able to see us as well as hear us? 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
3783 Then, the evil fire marshal assessed fines and stricter safety guidelines upon the poor dragon... 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
3784 I can't believe we're twins! 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
3785 Don't worry, it's not real. It's just the light. I'm not *really* a monster. 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
3786 Dad, when it's dark out don't scare me like that! 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
3787 ...and then she realized that the call was coming from within the castle! 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
3788 And the grieving Drogon flew off to Honah Lee. 1.1222 0.04421 90 82 5 3
3789 … and then there None! 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
3790 Make Pangea great again! 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
3791 I still don't have aswers.. 1.1222 0.04421 90 82 5 3
3792 Then the meteor hit! The dust blocked out the Sun! And we were extinct!! 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
3793 And then the editor said, “In addition to your new online only article, we need you to start producing some TikTok content” 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
3794 They slayed the dragon?! My scales are standing on edge.” 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
3795 Say. My. Name. 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
3796 This image appears to be two dragons talking to each other beside a campfire. The campfire, mountains and taiga trees in the image hint that the dragons are camping as most camping is done in those biomes. 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
3797 … it was then the human realized he really HAD left the oven on. 1.1222 0.04421 90 82 5 3
3798 But if there were no more dragons, what could tear a royal family apart? 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
3799 And instead of fire, he breathed water! 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
3800 And then they smile ... because they are happy! 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
3801 And then on a dark rainy night 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
3802 Oh, You think you’re soooo scary!” 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
3803 Look! I'm like that kids who was talking about us before we ate him. 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
3804 If you’re trying to scare me, it’s not working. 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
3805 And then Elon.... 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
3806 Charlie, that’s lame, you’ve been doing it since the dinosaurs were here. You need to come up with a newer trick. 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
3807 It’s redundant. 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
3808 People stopped going to movie theaters - so there'll be no more Godzilla movies for us to star in. 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
3809 You’re such a narcissist Alan. 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
3810 Wow…Your snout is bright! 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
3811 ….and then they polluted the waters and pillaged the natural resources all in the name of consumerism and greed. 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
3812 Long ago, in the kingdom of HBO/Warner Bros., we once were exploited with no SAG contract.... 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
3813 Watch the Big Bang unfold while I tell you this camp story 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
3814 I can see you in better light now! 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
3815 So the mom called out, “Is there anyone there? Clap once for yes and twice for no.” 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
3816 But when they went back a year later there was still a shortage of toilet paper " 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
3817 Your eyes, you're a monster 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
3818 And then he started the campfire without any matches,without any kindling,without even saying a word 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
3819 You’re wasting the battery, Stephen! 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
3820 It’s not longer funny! 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
3821 Then they strung his bones together with wire and charged admission for children to come gawk at his corpse. 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
3822 Well, you guessed it right! I AM eating you, and not in a good way… 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
3823 and then the giant balloon that was threatening world dominance was shot down by an F15 fighter jet and everybody lived happily ever after. 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
3824 Wanna tell spooky caveman stories? 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
3825 Invisalign! 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
3826 Admittedly, things got a little weird after the men put on their costumes. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
3827 Thanks for starting the campfire. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
3828 Sounds like...'stubble'! 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
3829 So what happened to the asteroid? 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
3830 The human is coming to GET you! 1.1216 0.04695 74 67 5 2
3831 I never realized before that we dinosaurs could experience teeth-chattering disorders. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
3832 Is this my best side? 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
3833 And then there was this big bang.... 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
3834 It was a dark and stormy night, and the world was ruled by warm blooded bypedals... 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
3835 On a dark and stormy night, a human like figure popped out of the trees, and STOLE THE FOOD! 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
3836 Do I look weird ? 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
3837 Yipes, it makes you look like St. George! 1.1216 0.04695 74 67 5 2
3838 Yikes! You look positively human! 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
3839 Enough already!! I get it!! 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
3840 …and then the mom told the babysitter “we don’t have a knight statue! Get the kids out of the cave!” 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
3841 Take a good look because we are going to be extinct in a few years! 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
3842 She settled down to sleep. But wait, weren’t there only three eggs in her nest last night? 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
3843 ...and all that was left of him was his tail!" "Ewwww! 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
3844 There's something stuck in your teeth. I think it's a sock. 1.1212 0.03872 99 89 8 2
3845 The comet? What's a comet? 1.1212 0.03596 99 88 10 1
3846 ...but he'd eaten so much honey and gotten so chubby he could not fit through Rabbit's doorway no matter how hard he tried and got stuck. 1.1212 0.03297 99 87 12 0
3847 Just got back from the future; it was enlightening! 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
3848 All right, stop dragon it out and get to the real scary part. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
3849 And there it was, the creature that struck fear in all who crossed its path... It was... a TikTok influencer! 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
3850 …and they called him Mothra 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
3851 Holding it this way keeps the monsters away. 1.1209 0.04374 91 83 5 3
3852 Not tonight, Josephine. 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
3853 And then a gigantic fiery ball appeared in the sky, big enough to end us all FOREVER but at the last second, it fizzled out. 1.1209 0.04086 91 82 7 2
3854 Johnny, please stop ending every damn story with "RAWR." 1.1209 0.04374 91 83 5 3
3855 Beam me up, there's no intelligent life down here... 1.1209 0.04086 91 82 7 2
3856 Before I tell this tale, do I have anything stuck in my teeth? 1.1209 0.03436 91 80 11 0
3857 Definitely creepy; I think you're ready for your audition on Tuesday for the Game of Thrones sequel! 1.1209 0.03436 91 80 11 0
3858 Nothing else worked. Maybe now they'll be afraid of me. 1.1209 0.04086 91 82 7 2
3859 And then Beowulf popped out of the bushes and cut down Grendel with his bare hands. 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
3860 Quick, snap my picture! 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
3861 Might we just once try a story that doesn't end in flaming ooga-boogas? 1.1209 0.03436 91 80 11 0
3862 And then came the humans 1.1209 0.04086 91 82 7 2
3863 That makes you look like Godzilla! 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
3864 And with the Orange Giant gone and the evil government finally in control of everything, the hairless beings faced imprisonment, starvation, or they simply froze to death with nothing to heat their homes. 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
3865 And it had long, skinny arms and legs, a round head, and its whole hideous body was covered with soft, pinkish skin!” 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
3866 It was no ordinary Damsel and the distress was all mine. 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
3867 I don’t want this story to drag on. 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
3868 Getting braces gave you a Hollywood smile. 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
3869 Do you see an eyelash stuck in my right eye? It’s ruining my evening. 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
3870 And then the prince removed his helmet… and he was CHARMING! 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
3871 It won’t be a shooting star. 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
3872 Rawr rawr rawr rawr, "HELLO!" 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
3873 Hey! Scary gragon face. 1.1205 0.04336 83 75 6 2
3874 You think my feet are big? Well settle in, son while I tell you all about the hairy creature roaming around these here woods. 1.1205 0.04336 83 75 6 2
3875 It sure beats the hell out of rubbing sticks together! 1.1205 0.04336 83 75 6 2
3876 Do you have any dental floss? 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
3877 Twas the night before tax day 1.1205 0.04336 83 75 6 2
3878 And then Godzilla was sentenced to electric death, it was the first time Perry Mason lost a case! 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
3879 Humans disappeared and we returned,but the one called Santos can still be heard whispering in the dark: The sweater vests hide my scales. 1.1205 0.04336 83 75 6 2
3880 So creepy,you look almost human. 1.1205 0.04336 83 75 6 2
3881 I’d rather see you making me a S’more. 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
3882 And then he said, “Does the name St. George ring a bell? Bwa ha ha!” 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
3883 Alexander, put it down. It’s a flashlight, not a mic 1.1205 0.04336 83 75 6 2
3884 It’s a pain being cold-blooded. 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
3885 Legend has it that it’s me. 1.1205 0.04336 83 75 6 2
3886 ...they're hairy and covered in skin, no tails,and their teeth are flat!... 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
3887 And then the guy in the metal suit takes out this big sword and 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
3888 Then, upon almost going to sleep, she heard something rustle in the bushes 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
3889 ...and that's how Godzilla conquered all! 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
3890 Do I have something in my teeth? 1.1200 0.04634 75 68 5 2
3891 Then, the two-legged screamed, dropped this sun stick, and disappeared! 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
3892 Please, not that asteroid story again. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
3893 Please enough with those same old ghost stories 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
3894 Considering our negative role in climate impact , I hope to God that those batteries are rechargeable! 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
3895 Gee, these humans do sound terrifying.... 1.1200 0.04634 75 68 5 2
3896 Wanna make monster hand shadows? 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
3897 And then Daenerys began to slowly change into a Georgian congresswoman. 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
3898 I just ate Jack's beanstalk and all his beans for supper! Wanna hear how that went? 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
3899 ... And then they decided to cast... Laura Dern! 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
3900 The princess blocked his number,ignored his emails,and moved in with a fire-breathing dragon,but the knight just wouldn't take a hint. 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
3901 And then the little furry creatures take over the planet! 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
3902 Thanks - I’ll be playing here for the next 165 million years. 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
3903 Dragon scary. Lit Dragon Terrifying. It's all about the lighting! 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
3904 And then man is made, and we become extinct. 1.1196 0.03736 92 82 9 1
3905 Wait, are we going for spooky or scary? 1.1196 0.03736 92 82 9 1
3906 But behind him, slowly, silently, comes this tiny little mammal, with its warm blood, and its opposable thumbs..." Edgar Zapata, Orlando F 1.1196 0.04043 92 83 7 2
3907 The moon was rising. Dino was trying to hide from Jack who had an ax, then…. 1.1196 0.03736 92 82 9 1
3908 As the batteries faded, the Mesozoic Era descended into darkness and the dinosaurs were no more. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
3909 And they called them “human beings” 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
3910 And now a story to keep you awake till the Armageddon! 1.1194 0.04998 67 61 4 2
3911 After the wheel came nuclear fission. Then we blew up the world, and here we are toasting acorns instead of marshmallows. 1.1194 0.04998 67 61 4 2
3912 And then the comet struck! 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
3913 And then a meteor is going to crash and make us extinct. Mwahahaha! 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
3914 And then, the humans started spraying giant fire extinguishers at your Uncle Fred! 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
3915 Along time ago there were these monsters called Humans. 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
3916 ...every time the damn flashlight under the chin gag 'look at me look at me hehe' . Yeah, like you'll be in the Smithsonian one day! 1.1190 0.04286 84 76 6 2
3917 and a homo sapien was born ... 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
3918 Redundant 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
3919 Don't do that. You look like Sam Neill. 1.1190 0.04286 84 76 6 2
3920 Your face doesn't scare me. That meteor does. 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
3921 And then...the coffee in the cup...started to tremble... 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
3922 This must be dessert!" 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
3923 -My name is SANTOS!!! -Ooooh, scary!!! 1.1190 0.04286 84 76 6 2
3924 Then the stars fell. 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
3925 Then the Cro-Magnons came creeping up in the woods. 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
3926 And then there were two. 1.1190 0.04286 84 76 6 2
3927 And then the asteroid hits...and BAM...all the dinosaurs are dead! 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
3928 Historical accuracy has never been a big concern at the Jurassic Experience. 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
3929 Don’t make me laugh. 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
3930 I just got a facial! 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
3931 Stop with the flashlight already; you’re scaring me! 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
3932 Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 1.1190 0.04286 84 76 6 2
3933 …and then the human went BOO! 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
3934 On dark night, just like tonight, Beowulf still wonders the woods... 1.1188 0.03528 101 90 10 1
3935 Gordon, you promised you were not going to bring work on our vacation! 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
3936 Do I look like I'm kidding? 1.1184 0.04576 76 69 5 2
3937 It's the last lithium battery in the world. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
3938 And the giant meteorite was aiming right for the Earth”… We can do another scary story tomorrow. Good night. 1.1184 0.04944 76 70 3 3
3939 The most horrifying thing that has happened is when MAN approached our borders & with days his desire to control the world put our American cousin on the wall mount. 1.1184 0.04576 76 69 5 2
3940 He was tasty, but you can have the flashlight for dessert. 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
3941 It’s hard to hold without thumbs, but very effective. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
3942 You've changed a lot since your last birthday! What if your growth continues like this for years and years? Maybe God will soon realize he's giving you way too much. too soon! 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
3943 And then, humans approached! But all dressed in metal of course because they're cowards. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
3944 When they got to the vault, they discovered…the currency was backed only by fiat! 1.1184 0.04576 76 69 5 2
3945 I got this bright thing from the man I ate. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
3946 Gotta tell ya, Earl — you've been huffing those flashlight beams a little too much for my liking lately. 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
3947 Oh great, another one from the 'little mammals will take over the earth' genre. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
3948 And then we ll be stuff toys for the toddlers eek 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
3949 well ….we survived !!!! 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
3950 And then little Billy gazed at the stars and sang Kumbaya! 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
3951 How many times have I told you to forget working on your face? I prefer the natural look! 1.1183 0.03698 93 83 9 1
3952 . . . Then, standing right front of us -- was Nostradamus 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
3953 And then, carbon capture alone failed. 1.1176 0.03763 102 92 8 2
3954 All they found were...his bones! 1.1176 0.04927 68 62 4 2
3955 And when he woke up and went outside, all he found was an empty suit of armor. 1.1176 0.03206 102 90 12 0
3956 And then they popped the balloon! 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
3957 Ah, said the man with the contract, you obviously didn’t read the fine print! 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
3958 Stop! You are going to attract a meteor! 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
3959 ...and then...they lived happily ever after! 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
3960 Eew, don't do that, you look like a mammal 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
3961 Quit it! It's scary enough out here! 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
3962 And then the kid asked for "More Broccoli". 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
3963 I’m a little rock, flying through the sky, getting bigger and bigger… 1.1176 0.03763 102 92 8 2
3964 How are you holding fire? 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
3965 with this 20000 lumens LED flashlight... Why do they promote such an experience as "all natural"? 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
3966 Yes, there is this creature called Bigfoot. 1.1176 0.04927 68 62 4 2
3967 And then I said, "lights, camera, action." 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
3968 Do you think I should get a chin tuck? 1.1176 0.04927 68 62 4 2
3969 And the final season was so bad, that they had to make a prequel to save face! 1.1176 0.04556 85 78 4 3
3970 And long after we die,their kids play with the miniature plastic versions of us in the sand. 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
3971 Grindr was a mistake. I've evolved, Donald, I'm really more a Christian Singles kind of guy. 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
3972 AND THEN OUR BONES WILL BE DISPLAYED IN MUSEUMS 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
3973 But this has a smaller carbon footprint 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
3974 ... and they all went extinct! 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
3975 That fireball-from-the-sky story is getting pretty lame. 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
3976 Long ago, in a land called Honah leee.... 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
3977 But you haven't known real fear till you've set foot in Hollywood. 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
3978 To this day they are obsessed with us. 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
3979 What’s that big fire ball in the sky?” asked the little TRex 1.1170 0.03333 94 83 11 0
3980 This is real, scary fun until the battery dies. 1.1170 0.03961 94 85 7 2
3981 Don't I look scary when I light up my face from underneath? 1.1170 0.03961 94 85 7 2
3982 And then it got very,very,very cold! 1.1170 0.03660 94 84 9 1
3983 Ralph, the whole world is not a stage. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
3984 And that's when they heard the sound of the accountant's calculator click, click, clicking in the well-lit room! 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
3985 Wooooo- I'm Saint George! 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
3986 Well, it all started with Dolly, the sheep, and now we have Jurassic, George 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
3987 ...then the little hairy creatures came out of their burrows and pursued world domination 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
3988 Afraid to try it… What are you living in the Stone Age? 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
3989 And then the humans came... 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
3990 ...but the itch was just out of reach! 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
3991 And what happened after the meteor slammed into Earth? 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
3992 The little girl took one look at the big scary monster and doubled over laughing. 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
3993 Who needs Prometheus? 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
3994 And then, the huge, crazy asteroid which called itself Armageddon, escaped from the insane asylum and began to hurtle toward Earth! 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
3995 I like it, but don't we need fire first? 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
3996 Yea, the flash light thing is really scary, butt my ass is dragon 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
3997 I told you not to be scared. 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
3998 And then they saw a huge rock with a bright tail in the sky overhead! 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
3999 Please stop doing that! You know how it freaks me out when you smile like a lying politician. 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
4000 To which she eerily replied, "That's not a Quad Venti White Mocha Frappuccino!" 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
4001 Where were you hiding the batteries? 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
4002 Oooh, it makes you look hideously human! 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
4003 And then they used the oozing black liquid to power their machines! 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
4004 On a night much like this... an asteroid flew across the sky... 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
4005 And then we became chicken nuggets. 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
4006 And the Evil Scientist shouted, “It will live by sucking fossil fuels!” 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
4007 You know, that would be a lot scarier if there was something in the woods that could actually eat us. 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
4008 Look into my eyes. You don't get rid of monsters by shining a flashlight on them. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
4009 Oh, Duffy, if you only knew how ridiculous you look with that flashlight under your chin! 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
4010 When we hold our feet to the fire, look how happy it can make us! 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
4011 ...and then a rock came from outer space 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
4012 ...and then this huge asteroid headed straight to earth. 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
4013 ...and the asteroid had a hook for an arm! 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
4014 And they called it: Jurassic World Dominion 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
4015 Legend has it we will soon be controlled by a woman! 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
4016 When asked by the waiter, the human asked for his steak to be well done! 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
4017 Come on, Butthead, you convinced me we should wear these dinosaur costumes on our camping trip but do you really think it's funny to attract hordes of mosquitoes as well? 1.1163 0.04191 86 78 6 2
4018 To his horror, the cobra turned out to be a firehose! 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
4019 And at first he thought "Oh,it's just a little Hobbit." 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
4020 Yess-ssir-ree! You are the scary one, for sure. You are about as scary as that purple celebrity cousin of yours. At least HE has his own TV show. 1.1163 0.04191 86 78 6 2
4021 T-Rex leaned in to deliver the frightening twist in the story. The flames flickered and cast eerie shadows across the ancient trees. Herbisaurus felt a primal fear deep in his bones. The tale was so frightening that even the stars seemed to dim. 1.1163 0.04191 86 78 6 2
4022 This is how I tell my scary stories. 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
4023 Can you believe they invented hot fire before the flashlight? 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
4024 ...and the cop says, 'The calls are coming from inside the cave. INSIDE your cave!' 1.1163 0.04191 86 78 6 2
4025 Suddenly, a lawyer stepped out of the shadows. 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
4026 When you said role play, I was thinking more castle-in-the-clouds... 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
4027 And, instead of an egg, it bore a small version of itself. 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
4028 It's amazing what new technology can do! 1.1159 0.04858 69 63 4 2
4029 Why, you're a beast! 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
4030 Actually, I thought you were scarier when you walked down the aisle to marry me. 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
4031 And the big, bad human roared with the might of a thousand mice! 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
4032 Is this scary, or what? 1.1159 0.04858 69 63 4 2
4033 From that day on,he was never seen again. All they ever found was a few bones. 1.1159 0.04858 69 63 4 2
4034 And then she hopped on my back and we went flying off. Jean Godden, Seattle, Washington 1.1159 0.04858 69 63 4 2
4035 This will make the story I am about to tell even scarier! 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
4036 IMHO you look scarier without the flashlight. 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
4037 With a campfire, a flashlight, and two dinosaurs, this cartoon is totally anachronistic,am I right? 1.1159 0.05278 69 64 2 3
4038 My torch beats yours. 1.1159 0.04858 69 63 4 2
4039 Stop it, seriously - how did you make a fire?! 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
4040 Makes you look scary, right? 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
4041 Carl, for the last time the world is not controlled by secret people-lizards 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
4042 And I haven’t filed my taxes in 16 years! 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
4043 Shouldn't the torchlight be reserved for ghost stories? 1.1158 0.03624 95 85 9 1
4044 Oh,you look so real. 1.1158 0.03921 95 86 7 2
4045 ...and there, hanging on the side of the asteroid, was a hook! 1.1154 0.04463 78 71 5 2
4046 And then the asteroid killed all of them ,hey… uh, why is that giant rock hurtling at us? 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
4047 And then it crawled out of the sea! 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4048 And they all lived happily ever after. 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4049 When I asked you to bring the electronics, I assumed it would be an iPad 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
4050 And they dug up his bones 200 million years later and found his brain in his tail! 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4051 Once upon a time,a long time ago,there were humans who wanted to rule the world! 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
4052 This ghost story is dragon on too long. 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4053 This is a real confidence booster. 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
4054 Hey Rex, can you see me now, can you see me? 1.1154 0.04463 78 71 5 2
4055 And if you don't do what I tell you, a great big rock will fall out of the sky and . . . 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
4056 The scary part is, I’m using lithium batteries. 1.1154 0.04821 78 72 3 3
4057 A definite improvement! 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4058 and then, after millions of years, the apes slaved day after day to buy food and shelter from the special apes because they'd been fooled into believing that they couldn't grow their own food and live anywhere they wanted 1.1154 0.04821 78 72 3 3
4059 Having clean teeth has done wonders for my sex life! 1.1154 0.04463 78 71 5 2
4060 You know, with the light just right, you're pretty good-looking. 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4061 Too bad we had to eat them, I mean they invented fire, right? 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4062 Bruce, you're scary-looking enough *without* the flash light. 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
4063 you're beginning to scare me 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4064 And that's how plates were invented by Man 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
4065 What use is it if you can't touch it? 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4066 Sounds like my old flame. 1.1154 0.04821 78 72 3 3
4067 Are you afraid of the dark? 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
4068 That one about the fireball in the sky really took my breath away. 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4069 Where the hell did you get batteries for that thing? 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
4070 This scary story is about a great force that came from outer space and threaten to wipe out the earth as we know it! 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4071 Crazy world how some things change and other things never do. 1.1154 0.04463 78 71 5 2
4072 ..and the man had been inside him the whole time! 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
4073 Focus, the light of the torch creates the illusion that there's an easy way to the other side 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4074 I think I will audition for the next Dragonheart reboot 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4075 And they wore these red ball caps... 1.1149 0.04144 87 79 6 2
4076 But my fire-breathing doesn't require batteries. 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
4077 It is relaxing, not to breathe fire for a change! 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
4078 Where did you get that flashlight from? 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
4079 Then, the Loch Ness Humans polluted the water with pesticides! 1.1149 0.04144 87 79 6 2
4080 This one’s called killer asteroid.” 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
4081 Could we turn the lights off when I go to sleep tonight? 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
4082 When they get to the end, just stick your face in the beam like this. They all yell and run away! 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
4083 ”Ever hear of an asteroid? 1.1149 0.04144 87 79 6 2
4084 Oh look! A shooting star! 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
4085 Rubbing the sticks together is way less efficient. 1.1149 0.04144 87 79 6 2
4086 Hey…does this make me look scary? 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
4087 Just shup up and get the marsh mellows. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
4088 No one can call me a luddite anymore 1.1146 0.03588 96 86 9 1
4089 Aaaaasteroids! Cooooomets! 1.1146 0.03881 96 87 7 2
4090 If there are no batteries left for hand shadows, I am going to be really pissed. 1.1146 0.03881 96 87 7 2
4091 Remember what mom said In this drought. Make sure you got a moisturizer. Some Noxzema is great and it's also good on toast 1.1146 0.03268 96 85 11 0
4092 And then there were no more little boys and girls to scare. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4093 OK, let's see if I have this right. "What's that? Something behind me? C'mon I'm not falling for that. AAAAAAHHHH!" 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4094 So, since the comet is coming, how do you feel about becoming extinct? 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4095 And then the camper with the flashlight did this, and then I gasped, and then he dropped the flashlight and ran away! 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4096 That may have been funny 10,000 years ago, but not anymore. 1.1143 0.04791 70 64 4 2
4097 Oh, no! Not the one about the fire breathing chihuahua! 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
4098 And then.....it was an...ASTEROID!" "Nah, c'mon, man, that's not realistic. Last night you said global warming of all things." 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
4099 Am I less scary with a smile? 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
4100 You tell me Republican or Democrat? 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4101 Stop it! You're scaring me with that monster light. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4102 And, suddenly, a comet streaked across the sky, heading straight for Earth... 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4103 As Henry drew close, he realized the light was not coming from a flashlight. Standing there was the glowing figure of a man with a smile on his face and a large gleaming sword in his hand. This man had come to slay him!!!! 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4104 You’ve got it all wrong! The real mystery is—where do I get the batteries? 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4105 You were supposed to get food but all you did was scare off all the critters with your monster face. What are we going to eat tonight, Carl? 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
4106 Got a great deal. Free batteries When you bought a Flashlight or electric toothbrush. I got both! 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4107 Now we have to figure out how to stream this to every campsite and cave around the world 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4108 I want my Mothra! 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
4109 The only thing scary about this is your eye bags. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4110 But you told me socks with sandals was only an urban legend! 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4111 And they call it…a dentist! 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4112 ...and the princess kept whining incessantly! 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4113 And then I found out what is inside a human. 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4114 ...And all the fossils were turned to gas. 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4115 And to this day, the knight in shining armor roams the woods, looking for his next victim 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
4116 AHHHH A DINOSAUR! 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
4117 It was worse than the final season of Game of Thrones! 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4118 Sorry Ester - it’s Rogue Hair Pact time 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
4119 ...And then they realized the scary noise was a meteor plunging to Earth!!! 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4120 It's an oldie by T.Rex 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4121 The last couple we ate thought this was fun . 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
4122 ya it's this new stuff called fossil fuels! 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4123 Scary? Lighting the campfire with your breath. THAT’S scary. 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4124 You know why were really going to disappear? Because smart asses like you. 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4125 This horror story is real! I heard it on the news from Margery Tayler Green! 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4126 ...and then little furry critters will rule this world. 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4127 And then a giant gorilla appeared out of nowhere! 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4128 Terrible, Dino. 1.1139 0.04408 79 72 5 2
4129 If anyone sees you, how will they ever believe that we run The Trilateral Commission? 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4130 You look a little green around the gills 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4131 Smoothness of my scales is not apparent in the moonlight!! 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
4132 Will you marry me Dina? 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4133 And then the girl kisses the frog.... 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
4134 Oooooo I’m a monster 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
4135 And it is said that ..get this..Raptordomus predicted that a big light in the sky would KILL US ALL!!! 1.1136 0.04099 88 80 6 2
4136 Did you forget to floss? 1.1136 0.03403 88 78 10 0
4137 I want to show you a tar pit I recently discovered. 1.1136 0.04099 88 80 6 2
4138 And then the flying pterodactyls became angry and threatened to hurl a large meteorite down upon us. 1.1136 0.04099 88 80 6 2
4139 You’re so HOT without the spotlight… 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
4140 Quit fooling around! Let's just try and enjoy this Asteroid-less night... 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
4141 Those canines are pearly white, Henry. 1.1136 0.04099 88 80 6 2
4142 And then, Prince Charming played a love song on his lute. 1.1136 0.04099 88 80 6 2
4143 Just think, we could now notice any asteriod that comes at night. 1.1136 0.03403 88 78 10 0
4144 In this house we hold our own feet to the fire. 1.1136 0.03403 88 78 10 0
4145 And then the human said something horrifying that I could not fully understand. It was as if his lips were saying something different than what I heard come out of his mouth. 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
4146 I'll be honest, I'm hating every second of this trip, I only agreed to come with you because my other option was staying at home and listening to my husband rant about his ape NFTs. 1.1136 0.04099 88 80 6 2
4147 …but Tex, the thousand-foot-tall cowboy, held that cobbler in his cold, unblinking gaze and insisted, ‘I want me the fanciest boots that Tokyo ever done seen…’ 1.1134 0.03843 97 88 7 2
4148 And they spend the rest of their lives working in an office 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
4149 With this light beam, I am now ready for Captain Kirk, Rematch!! 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
4150 And that’s when this furry eight-foot tall creature appeared out of nowhere! I swear I saw it with my own eyes! 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
4151 And they want to know why fire breathing dragons became extinct. 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
4152 ... and he delivers presents to children all over the world! 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
4153 And then everyone in the world was forced to become VEGAN! 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
4154 The tiny snack who had this kept saying something about a giant rock from the sky 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
4155 You look so scary! I just wanted some s’mores. 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
4156 Look closer - I swear I can feel a tent pole between my teeth. 1.1127 0.04726 71 65 4 2
4157 You got taken; it only gives an illusion of fire." 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
4158 After the fireball? What is left of us will be liquified then burned again! 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
4159 A human 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
4160 I still consider this playing with your food, Bill. 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
4161 Untamed beast reciting 'The Evils of Those Who Catch 'Em All,' c. 2023 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
4162 ...and then much to their horror they finally realized that the princess was actually George Santos dressed in drag. 1.1127 0.04726 71 65 4 2
4163 Cut it out, Dad! Your ‘stupid knight’ just makes my humanmares worse. 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
4164 …and out of the rustling bushes came a giant meteor!” “Rex, that’s not scary. We’re meat eaters” “No a meteor 1.1127 0.04726 71 65 4 2
4165 And then without any signs of slowing,atmospheric carbon molecules passed 420ppm 1.1127 0.04726 71 65 4 2
4166 And in 65 million years Donald Trump will become president of the United States. 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
4167 Look what else they charged besides the climate. 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
4168 Terry, quit fooling around. That things never going to start a fire anywhere. 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
4169 And the Grammy Award goes too… 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
4170 It was scary enough when you breathed the campfire into existence. 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
4171 And then a huge rock appeared in the sky, and it was falling—falling fast! 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
4172 ... and when she crawled into her tent that night she found...a little girl with pigtails ! 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
4173 So whatever you do, always remember, if you hear any noises at night, do not scream for help. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
4174 Ooooooo…that’s almost as scary as “My Little Pony.” 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
4175 So they invented fire. But look what we've got. 1.1125 0.04355 80 73 5 2
4176 Think of all the trees we could save by simply breathing fire! 1.1125 0.04355 80 73 5 2
4177 Turn that off! Your feet are burning! 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
4178 ... now tell the tar pit under the hibernation hole story! 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
4179 … and to this day no one has ever seen the Carcharodontosaur Girl of Carson’s Creek ever again. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
4180 Do I look grisly enough 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
4181 At that moment, he realized the knight was inside the cave. 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
4182 It all began with the decent down a golden escalator! 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
4183 And then one of those furry creatures grew up to be…Elon Musk! 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
4184 It was a bright, sunshiny morning, the tulips were up, the bells of the ice cream van could be heard, and little Sue and her puppy Snooky popped out of the door... 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
4185 The special effects are not necessary. 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
4186 Happily ever after! With a knight?! 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
4187 Happily ever after! With the psychopath that slayed her babysitter!? 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
4188 You already scared me when you said we're going extinct. 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
4189 So I tell Peter Jackson “if you just light me like THIS, I look just like Smaug!” He went with Benedict Cumberbatch anyway. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
4190 Ooooh. I'm a scary meteor. 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
4191 And he held his flashlight up like this so I could see what I was eating 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
4192 Do I look like a scary human? 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
4193 The New Yorker picked mine! The New Yorker picked mine! 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
4194 Can you see if there is broccoli in my teeth? 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
4195 And then the meteor crashed into Earth, blotting out the sun and ending life as we knew it. Kidding! 1.1124 0.04055 89 81 6 2
4196 And then, a huge fireball fell from the sky... 1.1122 0.04072 98 90 5 3
4197 When I finish this ghost story you can breathe us a new fire. 1.1111 0.03331 90 80 10 0
4198 I don’t think Modern Man would like to know we already have flashlights. 1.1111 0.04662 72 66 4 2
4199 And they call it the Fire Extinguisherrr!!! 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
4200 Just pretend you think I am scary......I know in real life you value my good looks.... 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
4201 Is that your 'Scary Face', or are you just glad to see me? 1.1111 0.05064 72 67 2 3
4202 The human was scarier before you ate her. 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
4203 OOOh...scary. 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
4204 Then from out of the sky came this fireball and into the Twilight Zone we went. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
4205 Then he said “The call is coming from inside your stomach!” 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
4206 It was that very night that I rolled dice with...the Dungeon Master! 1.1111 0.03175 99 88 11 0
4207 Shhh. Do you hear it? There’s a meteorite sizzling through the night shy. Muhahahaha! 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
4208 Once apon a time there was a human who drove over a snake... 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
4209 Take the flashlight. You’re going to have to make your own light at the end of the tunnel. 1.1111 0.03331 90 80 10 0
4210 'Don’t light up my life! 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
4211 Then he turned the flashlight on me, and they all screamed. I still don’t understand why. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
4212 And then St. George swooped in with his sword drawn! 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
4213 No, you don't look scary, but you look freaky cuz you have spinach in your teeth. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
4214 Spooky,huh 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
4215 ...and then this huge asteroid crashed right into the earth. 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
4216 It scared me so I ate him.'' 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
4217 But the building wasn't just wood, it was reinforced concrete with fire-resistant polymers. 1.1111 0.04662 72 66 4 2
4218 And then the asteroid got closer and closer.... 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
4219 and then, this epic ball of fire streaked across the skies... 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
4220 You get so weird when you eat human. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
4221 So, what part of it did you bite off… I see a hand, NO - gotta be the elbow! 1.1111 0.04648 81 75 3 3
4222 Stop dragon me into your psychotic fantasies Marv! 1.1111 0.03331 90 80 10 0
4223 And then, while she was still breathing, they dragged her to a taxidermist. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
4224 He thought we'd be spooked if he shined it in our eyes. 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
4225 And then he said,”you alligators are all alike”. 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
4226 Don't be scared. I used to be a dentist. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
4227 And despite poor reviews, they made more and more Jurassic Park films. 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
4228 My last race ...my feet are killing me. 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
4229 Than a meteor came and wiped us all out 1.1111 0.04303 81 74 5 2
4230 My cracker Jack prize. 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
4231 And then the young dragons realized that the knight had only one gauntlet. His other hand was a hook. 1.1111 0.05116 63 58 3 2
4232 They heard a rustling in the bushes ... and IT WAS A GIANT ASTEROID! 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
4233 Whatever you do don’t fall asleep! 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
4234 More s'mores please! 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
4235 Scary story by the scary master 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
4236 Hallelujah!! I think you’re finally beginning to see the light. 1.1111 0.04011 90 82 6 2
4237 Camping by a fire 1.1111 0.04303 81 74 5 2
4238 And then a ghostly human stepped into my cave 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
4239 Watch this, Joey. It's all in the eyes. My world famous Vince McMahon... 1.1111 0.04303 81 74 5 2
4240 And then they destroy the Earth with our bones! 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
4241 That only scares humans! 1.1111 0.03331 90 80 10 0
4242 And, suddenly, men invented Artificial Intelligence. 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
4243 And then the big bad asteroid said, 'Well, hello, Mr. Darwin. I guess you didn't see me coming, did you?' 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
4244 I can't focus on anything, Roy, until you get your teeth cleaned. 1.1111 0.04011 90 82 6 2
4245 Not only did these Girl Scouts have cell phones, but they also had... cookies!! 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
4246 Now we can tell ghost stories. 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
4247 It’s not helping. I’m still afraid of what could be out there. 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
4248 Hmmmm… “The Shining”? 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
4249 And the next thing he heard was…Puff the Magic Dragon, over and over again!! 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
4250 And they’ll call it a ‘Stay-cation‘ 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
4251 And then out of nowhere came 1,000 humans wanting to steal all my treasures! 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
4252 Please bro stop it, it's the 20th time now. 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
4253 and now for the evil intentions 1.1099 0.03297 91 81 10 0
4254 But all the tiny two-legged creatures couldn’t put Mr. Fossil together again. 1.1099 0.03297 91 81 10 0
4255 Boy, you can’t beat camping can you? A toasty fire, a flashlight. What’s not to like? 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
4256 …and Dr. Grant says, ‘Mr Hammond, I have decided NOT to endorse your park’. 1.1099 0.03297 91 81 10 0
4257 You gotta keep it old school and stay away from the edibles, Puff. 1.1099 0.03969 91 83 6 2
4258 Wanna hear some freaking story? 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
4259 Maybe someday you'll be credited for inspiring the selfie. 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
4260 And then the ugly fur-covered humans will rise up with pointy sticks and hunt all the bad dinosaur children. 1.1098 0.04253 82 75 5 2
4261 ...and then, from out of nowhere...there came a man called GEORGE R. R. MARTIN! 1.1098 0.04253 82 75 5 2
4262 Ahh! You look so normal! 1.1098 0.04253 82 75 5 2
4263 My turn for a spooky story... When the campfire goes out, we're all going to freeze! 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
4264 I caught a Velociraptor THIS big!!! 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
4265 Get out of the house. That fireball you heard is upstairs. 1.1098 0.04253 82 75 5 2
4266 Somehow it hasn't been the same since our fire-breathing went EV. 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
4267 Come closer for the shock ending! 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
4268 It was a bright and temperate day... 1.1098 0.04253 82 75 5 2
4269 Once upon a time, long ago, this land was inhabited by strange beings with unimaginable powers called homo sapiens. 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
4270 …and once again the puppet’s black eyes were staring right at him… 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
4271 Left swipe, guaranteed! 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
4272 So tell me, what are your future plans? 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
4273 And then after defeating the knight in shining armor, Grandpa looked inside the suit of armor - and it was the princess! 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
4274 And they were never... seen...again! 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
4275 Your positive it won't cause an ice-age? 1.1096 0.04600 73 67 4 2
4276 So this ghost, Epstein, didn't kill himself? 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
4277 And the monster was forced to live a vegan lifestyle for the rest of his days. The End. 1.1096 0.04600 73 67 4 2
4278 "He slowly lifted it out of the bag. It was red. It had long hideous nose. He lifted it and pointed it to my face. It was . . . it was . . . A FIRE EXTINGUISHER! Bahhh! Got ya. 1.1096 0.04600 73 67 4 2
4279 Wow! Scary! You definitely look human - like a used car salesman. 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
4280 This is the story of the Game of Thrones finale which most people didn't like but I thought was excellent. 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
4281 YOU'RE SCARY WHEN YOU DO THAT! 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
4282 The only thing you’re missing is a fur collared coat. 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
4283 And then appears this yellow haired, oranged faced guy who was determined to ruin civilization. 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
4284 Boo! I finally found a use for this thing! 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
4285 Come on, try it! Don't you want to look scary? 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
4286 And then he yelled a battle cry and performed a tactical retreat. 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
4287 No,not the one about extinction of the species! 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
4288 And, just as the night ended, a huge rock hit offshore killing everything for dozens of miles around…” “Oh c’mon Fred, nothing like that could ever happen and you know it!” 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
4289 You can trust me…. Just relax and drink it! 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
4290 Okay, now did I scare you? 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
4291 They were frightened of each other! You shoudda seen their faces when I showed up! 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
4292 Stop scaring me! You look like a human. 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
4293 When he realized it was actually a... FIRE EXTINGUISHER! 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
4294 ...the studio head took a beat, then announced to all: "We've decided to reboot King Kong." 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
4295 No, you don’t look like a kid telling a monster story. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
4296 Hey, Rex, there's no need to embellish your scaryness with ghost stories. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
4297 But the cave dwellers weren't happy just reassembling our bones! Fashioning us into toys was the next of their fiendish plans! And then...and THEN....! 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
4298 … and then they put his bones on display for everyone - even the children - to see. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
4299 A long time ago there was a cold-blooded killer… 1.1089 0.03418 101 91 9 1
4300 And then, after everyone thought Matthew Broderick had killed it forever, the franchise started again! 1.1087 0.03263 92 82 10 0
4301 And they speak to a ghost named Siri. 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
4302 Haven't I told you a thousand times that using both a flashlight and a fire is hurting our habitat? 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
4303 Bwah hah hah 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
4304 Do I have any caveman in my teeth? 1.1087 0.03927 92 84 6 2
4305 Beats fire heartburn. 1.1087 0.03927 92 84 6 2
4306 Haha, I bet you're thinking, 'I don't really look like a monster.' 1.1087 0.03263 92 82 10 0
4307 Next the humans stabbed the unsuspecting white blob family with sharp sticks and thrust them into the fire to die a painful death, then ate their corpses. 1.1084 0.04203 83 76 5 2
4308 You're going to attract Mothra. 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
4309 I think I can top that scary story--just give me a little time. 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
4310 I just had my teeth cleaned so I will not be hunting tonight. 1.1084 0.04203 83 76 5 2
4311 And then the big comet came CRASHING down. 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
4312 He saw me and then ran off and left this flashlight" 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
4313 and humans are still lurking in the forest waiting to strike 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
4314 And then the cartoonist produced ... the most anachronistic, anthropomorphic childish sketch of all!" "Wait! Where's my other arm? 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
4315 Anyhoo, don't know why this works, but very scared little campers. Delicious, by the way! 1.1084 0.04203 83 76 5 2
4316 Not scary! No one believes your stories about rocks falling from the sky 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
4317 You're scaring me man. 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
4318 It was a bright and starry day 1.1084 0.04203 83 76 5 2
4319 DO I SOUND LIKE T REX? 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
4320 Old creatures swear this light angle takes YEARS off their features! 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
4321 Live footage of the U.S. government in session. 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
4322 What do you mean they were hit by an asteroid? 1.1084 0.04203 83 76 5 2
4323 Hey look how scary this makes me look 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
4324 That really doesn’t add anything to your scariness, Ralph. 1.1084 0.04203 83 76 5 2
4325 You got something in your teeth 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4326 Jesus, I thought for a minute you were M. Night Shyamalan. 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4327 And the witch, having offered Hansel and Gretel as much of the candy cottage as they could carry, sent them home by Uber! 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
4328 Was it the volcanoes? No… Was it the climate change? No… Was it the asteroid? YES!!! 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4329 ...and then the mammals took over and destroyed the planet. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
4330 And then came along one of those five toed creatures with no tails. 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4331 I can't believe we're not having s'mores! 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
4332 So then this ghostly stegasaurus leaps out of the marsh at him... 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
4333 And the monster appeared with ten fingers, ten toes, and hair on top! 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
4334 I wish we hadn't eaten the human now because I could really use his opinion on your scary story telling skills. 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4335 I found this great night light. You won't have to fire up for us to read in bed. 1.1081 0.04540 74 68 4 2
4336 Every time we go camping it's the same old scary human stories! 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4337 And then, the brown rock stood up and Godzilla saw that it was really - KONG! 1.1081 0.04540 74 68 4 2
4338 Now we can look up my nose for that splinter. 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4339 And then a giant meteor plunged into the Yucatan Peninsula... 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4340 Though on the outside he looked just like you or me, the scales disguised... a politician! 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
4341 Whadaya think we ought to call this new thing, Fredo? 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
4342 No, that smile would not attract Neanderthals. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
4343 Wanna hear about the dinosaur that went extinct and never returned! 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4344 ...and then the asteroid hit!!! Don't worry Harvey, it will never happen! 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4345 Then,the egg cracked and out sprang a metal hook… 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4346 What would old grandfather Godzilla have done? 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
4347 Don’t know if I can last until global warming kicks in. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
4348 Let’s test if I was scared or not at first before carrying out the work. 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4349 So after dark St. George's ghost searches here for young sleeping dragons... 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4350 ...and then the monster suddenly appeared! 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4351 And then he and the princess ran away, and all I could do was watch. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
4352 Look, we may have lost our wings and we can't breathe fire anymore, but we can blind them with this powerful magic light!! 1.1081 0.04540 74 68 4 2
4353 Chicxulub Crater! 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4354 .... and then hundreds of thousands of years in the future one of our only decedents that will remain is the chicken! 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
4355 I see you've been shopping at the Creation Museum again. 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
4356 And the kid I took it from was singing, " This little light of mine. I’m going to let it shine Oh, this little light of mine I’m going to let it shine 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
4357 Do I look like a candidate for Invisalign? 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
4358 And then Nostradamus-rex said, we'd all be obliterated by a giant asteroid. 1.1077 0.04963 65 60 3 2
4359 See !!! There was NO 5th extinction !!!! 1.1075 0.03230 93 83 10 0
4360 You look just like a human child! Frightening, too say the least. 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
4361 See they give light and you can eat them too! 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
4362 It was all metal and charged! 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
4363 No wonder he didn’t see us coming. 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
4364 Does that thing keep you warm or it looks like a spooky face 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
4365 Eek, you look like a scary human when you do that 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
4366 Close. Their eyes look bigger. 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
4367 You gave you right arm for that?! Bozo! 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
4368 When they parked the car, she saw, hanging from the door handle, a bloody...Comet! 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
4369 And when they finally got to the cave, they found that Barry had evolved...feathers! 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
4370 St. George crept up on the campfire, the blade of his sword glinting in the firelight… 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
4371 Do I have anything between my teeth? 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
4372 And then he said, "I think we should schedule a Zoom!" 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
4373 I'm a meteorite! 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
4374 And the marshmallows don't leave any nasty residue. 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
4375 ...and when he awoke, he became Godzilla: Larry King of the Monsters" 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
4376 And, along with the accursed meteor came... the dawn of man! 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
4377 And after the bones decomposed, they used them to fuel their cars. 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
4378 And all of a sudden, out popped the dreaded teenager! 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
4379 And there's more. After the meteor, there was ... George Santos! 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
4380 Again with the ghost stories, Jerry? 1.1067 0.04482 75 69 4 2
4381 Boo!! 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
4382 You don’t really need the flashlight 1.1067 0.04482 75 69 4 2
4383 I've heard it said that it is all about the light, my gosh you look beautiful! 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
4384 I know I don't look spooky but can't you at least pretend? 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
4385 Boo. Did I scare you? 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
4386 And then a huge asteroid came and all the little campers were obliterated! 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
4387 Boo—I look like a scary human. 1.1067 0.04867 75 70 2 3
4388 Tomorrow we scale the scariest mountain! 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
4389 I want them to see my face when I tell them climate change is real! 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
4390 Do I still have some Jackie Paper between my teeth? 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
4391 I don't get it. Why would our nature wish to be straight? 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
4392 Hey cut it out, you're scaring me to extinction! 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
4393 Now... wanna go for some tacos and scare young couples?" Shari Villegas-Jone 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
4394 Don’t you agree that the aligners worked great? 1.1067 0.04482 75 69 4 2
4395 And when they did this, I snuck up behind them and ate them. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
4396 My name is Godzizzle, my nizzle. 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
4397 so what's your name, Spit Fire! 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
4398 Ooooo! The flashlight highlights your best features! 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
4399 Once upon a time,there were humans. . . 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
4400 Am I hot enough chick for you? 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
4401 Your silly stories about a giant meteor are ridiculous and not believable. 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
4402 What's it gonna be: fire or batteries? 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
4403 Stop, it makes you look scary. 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
4404 Isn't this the wong drawing? I submitted a caption yesterday and it was totally different. I think this one was first used a few weeks back. 1.1059 0.04108 85 78 5 2
4405 And then a monster asteroid smashed the earth and all of our kind where gone for good 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
4406 Frightened, no! I expected Governor Ron would be here to burn books! 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
4407 Shine that light all you want honey, but dinosaurs fear nothing but comets. 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
4408 Once a year humans do the Monster Mash. It takes place the last day of -- Wait! What month is this? 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
4409 I'm really creeped out. Time for s'mores. 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
4410 And in a FLASH, a giant meteorite was discovered heading to earth! Scary stuff!!! 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
4411 A meteor hitting the Earth like that could never happen. 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
4412 Nogard! Nogard! 1.1059 0.04108 85 78 5 2
4413 And then, the red trucks with hoses came. 1.1059 0.04108 85 78 5 2
4414 'twas the night before Christmas... 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
4415 Frankly, Bill, I don't think the teeth whitening is going to do all that much for you 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
4416 Now these are real FANGs 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
4417 ...and she slowly opened the door and there was a man standing there with a briefcase and he said: 'Hello, I'm from the government and I'm here to help you.' 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
4418 Just pretty darn goofy and not scary at all. 1.1058 0.03324 104 94 9 1
4419 ...and then they reassemble your bones and hang you from the ceiling. 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4420 And then she saw a big shooting star and started to make a wish... 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4421 If only we’d let them show us how to make s’mores, it could’ve been a win-win. 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4422 And then this scary human came out of the shadows. 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4423 So then the big rock from outer space...oh sorry I thought I was talking to a dinosaur. Okay. So, then George tells the king and his army that he will behead the last dragon if they all worship his God. 1.1053 0.03165 95 85 10 0
4424 Look at me! Loook at Meeeeeee! 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
4425 Suddenly, the pterodactyl looked down and saw a bloody hook hanging on the door 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4426 Ha! You Flinched 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
4427 BEWARE!, It's the monster with two legs, no tail and smooth skin who breathes only halitosis. 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4428 would you like a light? 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4429 I borrowed this from the guy in R&D 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4430 Stop that, Stanley. Your'e scaring my scales off. 1.1053 0.04424 76 70 4 2
4431 I'd like to start out with my favorite song, "Oh Dragon Eyes". 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
4432 Sorry dear, but your zits are still showing. 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4433 Nothing like a cozy evening by he fireplace. 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
4434 And when the mysterious autumn mist lifted, Puff frolicked no more. 1.1053 0.04424 76 70 4 2
4435 I tell you, she's the best dentist around. Look at these chompers! 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4436 How do my new teeth look?" Alicia Chinatomby, New Yor 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4437 The composition is better" 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4438 You are feeling afraid...VERY afraid. 1.1053 0.04424 76 70 4 2
4439 ... and then again I had that scarry feeling that a child was under my bed... 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
4440 A podcast a week? We got this. 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
4441 After All What Matters Is the Effect. 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
4442 No, seriously. if we could find one more of us to say 'ser" at the end, we could make a fortune on Super Bowl Sunday." 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4443 And then a large white balloon drifted above! 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4444 The lighting and sound guy keeps setting it up this way? No wonder the ratings stay down. 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4445 And someday we’ll be fossil fuel! 1.1053 0.03165 95 85 10 0
4446 And then... they were audited for tax evasion! 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
4447 You ate Gloria? Mr. DeMille will not be happy! 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4448 And then I appeared! 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
4449 Yellow IS scary 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
4450 ...and that is how they fuel their cars. 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
4451 Hey, grow up before it's too late. 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
4452 You have smores between your fangs 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
4453 Once upon a time there was a meteor t- "AAAHHH!!! 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
4454 You look downright scary when you do that. 1.1047 0.04061 86 79 5 2
4455 Do you see any unnatural hairs under my chin? 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
4456 Mwahahaha....I'm an asteroid! 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
4457 Stop it, you look like a scary camp fire girl ! 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
4458 I'm sorry we ate those campers, this would've scared the bejeezus out of them! 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
4459 And then he heard the words: ‘You’re on mute’ ” 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
4460 That's not funny, these woods are swarming with humans. 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
4461 Little did they know the hitchhiker was...Saint George. 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
4462 Not playing, I can't get my fire back, dude 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
4463 Then the Great Lizard said to the people, "This light growing in the sky is my gift to you all!.." 1.1042 0.03466 96 87 8 1
4464 Tell me, darling. Do you love me for my good looks? Or is it my opposable thumb? 1.1042 0.03466 96 87 8 1
4465 And then the bad meteor barely missed us! 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4466 One torch song does not glamping make. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4467 And the astroid sped toward Earth with terrifying speed 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4468 Fire2.0! 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4469 Day became night as the big sky rock came even closer and then every living thing was gone, except you. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
4470 That's not how the 'monster stories around the campfire' thing works. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4471 Once there was an accountant named Larry... 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4472 This is the latest portable version of fire. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4473 One of the Zombies had white skin, another was brown - really ugly! 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4474 Fred said, "Barney is all yours." 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
4475 Jack Nicolson in The Shining. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4476 This is what kids do when they are camping and telling scary stories….do I look scary to you? 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4477 I still think this light is the most flattering of the three. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
4478 Suddenly, an immense ball of fire raced toward us, soaring low over the horizon. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
4479 Here's the scary face after 17 smores. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4480 …and then he pulled out a fire extinguisher! 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
4481 Yes, we ate him, but maybe he WAS a god? 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
4482 And after the psycho prince killed a perfectly innocent dragon, a princess he had just met suddenly wanted to marry him. And that’s why humans are terrible at telling stories. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4483 Stop. You'll give me nightmares. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4484 . . . and then they looked up, and they saw it, just floating, watching, and then . . . POP!!! 1.1039 0.04369 77 71 4 2
4485 ...but his left claw was missing, and in it's place, a Was A Fire Extinguisher! 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4486 'Tierd of your pseudo apocalyptic meteor stories...' 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
4487 Do dinosaurs tell ghost stories around campfires in the woods? 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4488 Elementary, my Dear Watson is spelled "ary" not "ery" 1.1034 0.03284 87 78 9 0
4489 And then the mild-mannered bookkeeper walked into the office and said 'Good Morning Everybody'. 1.1034 0.04016 87 80 5 2
4490 Then a white male teenager in camo jumped out from behind the tree. 1.1034 0.03284 87 78 9 0
4491 Does this light make my face glow or rekindle any childhood antics?!? J Kinsey Toronto ONT 1.1034 0.03284 87 78 9 0
4492 can you see me now? 1.1034 0.03284 87 78 9 0
4493 And I thought I was scared of the dark... 1.1034 0.04016 87 80 5 2
4494 You were scarier before you went to Clear Choice.” 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
4495 We're all set for when fires become extinct. 1.1034 0.03284 87 78 9 0
4496 It turns out we've never been Kaiju! This whole time, we've only been puppets created by humans for entertainment! 1.1034 0.04016 87 80 5 2
4497 Wwwoooooooooo!! Scary, huh? 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
4498 ...and now on nights of a crescent moon, the one-armed sculptor wanders these woods in search for dragons to pose for his carvings. 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
4499 They said it is 'inextinguishable' 1.1034 0.03284 87 78 9 0
4500 Early flashlight tag 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
4501 Too bad I ate the guy who started this, at least I should have gotten the recipie. 1.1031 0.03432 97 88 8 1
4502 I know it is you Freddie. Don't try to look like you will look like in 120,000 years. 1.1029 0.04750 68 63 3 2
4503 And then suddenly out of nowhere a giant meteor hurtles to earth…. 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
4504 ... and then his scales fell off and he looked just like A HUMAN BEING! 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
4505 But when he checked again all his crypto was actually a scam, and his job was a scam, society's infrastructure and traditions, industry, recycling, his partner and kids and his home and his car were all a scam, and the only thing that isn't is death. 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
4506 Jeff,enough! We are all out of bug spray! 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
4507 And suddenly he realized the shooting star was actually … a METEOR! 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
4508 What was your take on that Frost Poem?I think the world will end in fire. Do you think ice would suffice? 1.1029 0.04750 68 63 3 2
4509 And just then she realized that the asteroid was coming from inside the solar system! 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
4510 Stop with the scary monsters. Now I won’t be able to sleep tonight. 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
4511 Now stop it... You know how scared I get at night sitting around the campfire. 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
4512 No more scary stories of being skinned alive and turned into boots. 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
4513 ... and they'll never even know we told ghost stories. 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
4514 I knew there was an advantage to having an opposable thumb. I wonder what else we can achieve...like destroying the planet. 1.1029 0.04750 68 63 3 2
4515 Here, take this torch. It will prove to you that there's no human hiding under your bed. 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
4516 ...and then they all joined an apocalyptic cult and committed mass suicide. 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
4517 Gotcha! 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
4518 Does this flashlight make my eyes look big? 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
4519 Everybody’s got a little light under the sun, under the sun 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
4520 ...and then the operator said, "Get out! The dragon slayer is calling from inside the cave!" 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
4521 Yes, I found it at the end of the tunnel...what do you think? 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
4522 After stop-motion we were totally replaced by CGI and lost our SAG cards! 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
4523 A dumb knight with a little sword doesn't scare me. It is the N.Y.F.D. with the big hose that is horrifying. 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
4524 ... I turn around and see ... King Ghidorah with a hook for a hand!!! 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
4525 And when they took off their masks, she realized they weren’t lizard people! 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
4526 Time for bed. We hike the tar sands bright and early 1.1026 0.04314 78 72 4 2
4527 Don't worry. I don't see any evidence. 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
4528 But they were all vegans and nobody left the feast satisfied.... 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
4529 You’ve still got a bit of those campers between your teeth. 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
4530 Wanna hear a new ghost story? 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
4531 I'm in love! 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
4532 The sound came again, against the car door: Scrape, scrape, scrape. And I suddenly thought: That hook could really improve my dental hygiene. 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
4533 And then the asteroid struck” 1.1026 0.04314 78 72 4 2
4534 This talk of Global Cooling is Totall Rubbish. This Cloudy period will pass any day now. 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
4535 Okay, Okay. Let me see. King Kong meets Fay Wray. Right? 1.1026 0.04314 78 72 4 2
4536 And then... the human jumped from under the bed! 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
4537 We get it- you have dental insurance Fred. 1.1026 0.04314 78 72 4 2
4538 … and in the future, there will be millions of tiny fat little dinos, flightless and defenceless, running around from them humans, trying to survive in prison cells called coops… Pooping out eggs, trying to make a living… Their voices will become trivial toys that squeaks, just for a laugh… and even the ones with liberty will be entitled ‘free range’, but their destiny is the same Martin… Ending up as an appetiser on a Sunday afternoon.. 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
4539 And someday, our bones will fuel boxes on wheels! 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
4540 Take one to know one. 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
4541 Wait! Have you ever heard of floss? 1.1023 0.03249 88 79 9 0
4542 And then, in the sky, came a bright burning flame ... 1.1023 0.03972 88 81 5 2
4543 But this particular triceratops had hooks for horns. 1.1023 0.03249 88 79 9 0
4544 You know I don't scare that easily. 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
4545 And when they found the meteor, it is as wearing the girl's sweater. 1.1023 0.03249 88 79 9 0
4546 That was a great meal Dina. Boots giving you a little indigestion? I'll toss you for his flashlight. 1.1023 0.03249 88 79 9 0
4547 And then the tiny two-legged ants go on to rule the Earth. 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
4548 ..and then an Ice Age comes and we all die off because of Global Cooling! It's true, this 13 year old girl told me! 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
4549 And after the apocalypse, the small, furry creature gleefully ate the last of the dinosaur eggs while declaring, "Now it's our turn!" 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
4550 The lithium-ion flavor, whatever that is, tastes REALLY good once the case pops open. 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
4551 And then the scout leader took out his... guitar! 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
4552 And then these furless creatures turned us into a liquid substance called "fossil fuel!" 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
4553 To this day, he is imprisoned, in the depths of Hollywood. And if you listen carefully, you can still hear his roars of agony. 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
4554 I’d like you to attend the premiere with me. 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
4555 “I hope I don’t scare a species into extinction” 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
4556 And then the cartoonist chopped off one of my arms! 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
4557 Do you think THIS will scare the Liberals even more than my Trump mask??? 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
4558 Guess who I am, Linda? 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
4559 And they said it granted wishes? 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
4560 You light up my life - til we are extinct. 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
4561 and then...her nose started to itch 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
4562 ...and then the asteroid came shooting towards Earth. 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
4563 And from the murky shadows of the Prius,emerged the balding, middle-aged man with a dad bod. 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
4564 The balloon just kept floating across the sky. 1.1013 0.04261 79 73 4 2
4565 And they had to start their own fires with sticks. 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
4566 They keep promising “the ice age is almost over” 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
4567 I can be a better Trump than you! 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
4568 And then she said a large comet would appear in the sky . 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
4569 Look what I found and watch this... "Cheese" 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
4570 Wendy, darling, Light of my Life! I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in. 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
4571 Yes, the braces did make your teeth straighter!” 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
4572 You actually look better under that light. 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
4573 Does that meteor look closer to you? 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
4574 Here's a scary story: dragons don't exist. 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
4575 This is my new nighttime beauty regime to enhance my terror-ific features 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
4576 A chin lift would tighten your turkey wattle 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
4577 Some say when the night is still and the moon shines an eerie purple you can hear his awful cry: 'Super-Dee-Duper! Tee-rific! 1.1011 0.04241 89 83 3 3
4578 Better be nice to me or I won’t pluck those chin hairs anymore 1.1011 0.03929 89 82 5 2
4579 And her BONES are on display. 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
4580 No more rehearsing and nursing a part! 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
4581 Tell me the spooky matrix story where they use DNA technology to grow, harvest, and liquify us to create the sustainable energy of the future! 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
4582 You have your persona; I have mine. 1.1011 0.03929 89 82 5 2
4583 Then he felt something brush against his tail…He turned around to find…an Enormous MAMMAL, THREE INCHES HIGH! Poised to take over life on Earth! 1.1011 0.03589 89 81 7 1
4584 But all the gold was gone! 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
4585 More like 'big goofy lizard' if you ask me. 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
4586 And then they looked up...and they saw something massive falling from the sky...and then BOOM!!! They all died. 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
4587 And suddenly, there's an orange glow in the night sky! 1.1000 0.04618 70 65 3 2
4588 And on moonlit nights, if it's very quiet, you can still hear the screams of Little Jackie Paper. 1.1000 0.03887 90 83 5 2
4589 And then this giant meteoroid crashed into earth and destroyed all of us. The end. 1.1000 0.03551 90 82 7 1
4590 Wait, buy just three tubes whitening toothpaste and get a free moth collector? 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
4591 You had me at 'Roar!' 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
4592 I AM SAINT GEORGE!!! 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
4593 Then they used those opposable thumbs to elect a cantankerous orange vulgarian. 1.1000 0.04210 80 74 4 2
4594 No. I don't see any bloody flesh stuck between your teeth. 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
4595 Does this scare the scales off ya' or what? 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
4596 And then they all looked and saw ... BEAVER CLEAVER'S GOOFY FACE! 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
4597 ...And THAT'S how I got this flashlight 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
4598 This tale is called 'Things That Bump into the Knight.' 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
4599 This, my dear, is what you call Firepower! 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
4600 Whoa, scary like one of those TV pundits." 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
4601 And NO ONE was scared of him! 1.1000 0.04210 80 74 4 2
4602 ... and after the egg cracked you could see the beak... 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
4603 You’re no Boris Karloff. Keep trying. 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
4604 But asteroids aren't real? 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
4605 The knight said “I’m here to slay you!” So I said “What are you, some kind of comedian?” 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
4606 Bam..! I'm facing a group of humanoids called filmmakers. 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
4607 And then the huge rock fell from the sky and destroyed us all. 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
4608 And then the human tucked his daughter in for the night, read her a bedtime story and gently KISSED HER ON THE CHEEK! 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
4609 It was a dark and stormy night 66 million years ago." 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
4610 … then the IRS got him, even though he burned his paper trail… 1.1000 0.04618 70 65 3 2
4611 And then they pumped us up and we oozed through pipelines and lubricated fire-breathing machines and... 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
4612 Flashlight? Neat. Fire? Better! 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
4613 It produces face value! 1.1000 0.04618 70 65 3 2
4614 Then, after her cucumber scrub, the model was just radiant 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
4615 T-Rex on a rock! Whadda ya think? 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
4616 How did you get the fire inside that tube? 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
4617 And then Trump became President! 1.1000 0.04210 80 74 4 2
4618 This light stick is really cool but gives no heat no warmth, and cannot cook anything, therefore isn't very useful. All we have to do is wait for the animals using it to go extinct when the cold comes. Then we won't be bothered by them anymore. 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
4619 Oooh! That's a scary story! Do they breathe fire, too?" 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
4620 And then, the meteorite came, and it destroyed everything!" - Isabelle Sherlock, age 1.1000 0.04210 80 74 4 2
4621 And then they ate s'mores right before bed and DIDN'T BRUSH THEIR TEETH! 1.1000 0.04210 80 74 4 2
4622 See how scary I can look? 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
4623 Be careful, you know that fire cannot kill a dragon but that thing could. 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
4624 And when they looked back, the asteroid was gone - or was it? 1.1000 0.04210 80 74 4 2
4625 And then a firefighter appeared in the distance 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
4626 Then one night, Dino teased the asteroid with a moon joke. 1.0989 0.03147 91 82 9 0
4627 And then I said, “I’d like to speak to your manager!” 1.0989 0.03147 91 82 9 0
4628 And behind him, the Creature appeared like magic, all dressed in silver with a shiny toothpick... 1.0989 0.03513 91 83 7 1
4629 Jerry, you’ve already told me this one. 1.0989 0.03845 91 84 5 2
4630 . . . and when I do this, I look like Elon Musk. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
4631 And then he realized someone else was IN the house, whatever that is. 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
4632 And then along came this monstrosity called …nyah-ah-ahh... ‘global warming.’ And it wiped out all the humans…But don’t worry… it won’t mess with us! 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
4633 Your freaking me out man, your freaking me out! 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
4634 Look, I shaved my beard! :sigh: you look hideous... 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
4635 He thought that this was really scary and then he saw me. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
4636 Have a light, Bud. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
4637 Hey, look at me -I'm a Duracell -a-Saurus! 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
4638 ...and they lived happily ever after...or they thought. The princess had to get a part time job and the knight had to go back to slaying dragons AGAIN!" 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
4639 It's no use, my teeth are still chattering 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
4640 This is called "Mother Earth," because it smells, feels, and looks like mom's breath. 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
4641 There was a time when humans roamed the earth and flew the skies in big metal tubes with wings. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
4642 ... and it was called the Chicxulub impactor. 1.0988 0.04159 81 75 4 2
4643 And boom! This giant gorilla appears out of nowhere. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
4644 This will totally scare away any bears that are attracted to our s’mores. 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
4645 Well,thanks so much for shining a light on the situation. 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
4646 This is how my idol scare human in Jurassic World. 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
4647 Another relic from the Anthropocene age? 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
4648 That camper guy WAS pretty tastey!! And look at some of the cool stuff he had... 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
4649 And the humans were never seen again after that asteroid. But, legend says the humans still lurk in the abandoned cities... 1.0988 0.04159 81 75 4 2
4650 You are the Queen of Dragons doppelgänger! 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
4651 And out of the dark cave came Beowulf, St. George, and Little Johnny Papers. 1.0988 0.04159 81 75 4 2
4652 Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, there was a big bang! 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
4653 And then, all of a sudden, a gigantic meteor appeared! 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
4654 They look great. You'll be a big hit with the Pterodactyls. 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
4655 How could this smile scare anyone? 1.0986 0.04555 71 66 3 2
4656 Say Puff,I mean Dude,what did you put in those marshmallows? 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
4657 And then they opened a park and locked ussss allll inn ittt 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
4658 Kinda gilding the lily, don't you think? 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
4659 Sorry, but scary human stories just make me hungry. 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
4660 And that’s when they realized that the hitchhiker was actually a mass extinction asteroid. 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
4661 IT! WAS! AAA! => DARK!!, and… s-t-o-r-r-r-m-y Night !!! 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
4662 And then the evil asteroid hit and they were goners! 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
4663 We'll get back on the balloon as soon as it's recharged 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
4664 Charming, but you were supposed to drop the flashlight and take the marshmallows. 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
4665 Hmm - what's even more scary is you having opposable thumbs; take that Darwin. 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
4666 They say if we use these we won't go extinct. 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
4667 ...and then a giant asteroid crashed into the planet; killing everyone 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
4668 They say you can’t know the true nature of someone until you see … their TEETH! 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
4669 Well yes, it's my name, but we can't call the band 'Marc Bolan' 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
4670 And then Saint George comes riding, riding riding up through the woods... 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
4671 And as he burned he cried out, "only you can prevent forest fires." 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
4672 Chicxulub 1.0980 0.03271 102 93 8 1
4673 ...and then a GIANT ASTEROID came from outer space! 1.0978 0.03114 92 83 9 0
4674 One-two, one-two, and through and through, his vorpal blade went snicker-snack... 1.0978 0.03805 92 85 5 2
4675 Definitely, not a scary campfire story. 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
4676 I thought id never see you again 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
4677 The knights are out at night. 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
4678 ...and when he woke, the forest was filled with HUMANS!! 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
4679 And only our bones will remain. 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
4680 Just wait! A million years from now some two-legged creature will try to take credit for this. 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
4681 And who should appear, but a knight in shining armor! 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
4682 After we die our bodies will turn into this sludge which an advance species will use to put in their travelling machines 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
4683 And then it appeared -- AND IT HAD FLESH AND HAIR ALL OVER ITS BODY! 1.0976 0.04110 82 76 4 2
4684 And then I saw a meteor 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
4685 The karaoke age came after the big bang, the bronze age, and the bildesung. 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
4686 …and then a large fiery ball came screaming out of the sky 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
4687 How very human of you. 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
4688 But then all the humans in the park escaped! 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
4689 Then, a giant asteroid comes flying toward Earth... 1.0976 0.04110 82 76 4 2
4690 ...But it turned out... She wasn't a virgin at all! 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
4691 You are scaring me, STOP! 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
4692 ...then the monster on two feet arrived and said I'm the Hu-man. Nothing is safe since 1.0976 0.04461 82 77 2 3
4693 But where do you go when the batteries run out ? 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4694 ...and then the giant meteor lit up the sky! 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4695 And then humans moved in and our world turned upside down. 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
4696 And then what happened? 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4697 I agree, he needs salt. 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4698 I am the asteroid of your nightmares. 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4699 And sometimes, late at night, you can still hear them… living happily ever after. Mwahahahahah! 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4700 I feel warmth -- I will call it a torch. 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4701 Why so scaled? 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4702 The light brings out your best features. 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
4703 And so just when the Princess was done whining about the tower, she broke a nail. 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
4704 Just another night at the Dinosaur-LARPing-Ghost-Story Retreat. 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4705 This is the next level honey... 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4706 And this animal burns our liquified bodies to keep warm. 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
4707 And then, I said: ‘My, what big teeth I have’ 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4708 Do I have cartilage stuck in my teeth?" 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4709 Then human say, "No worry, Larry, this species is peaceful herbivore." 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4710 Sorry. Just not seeing scary. More...wry bemusement with a hint of doleful ennui. 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
4711 You look scary enough already! 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
4712 . . . But inside the castle, guarding the room where the princess slept was a huge, fire-breathing man. 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4713 And then the human blew out the dragon's flame... and he could never get it to light again! Mwahahaha! 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4714 Just a balloon", they said. "Yeah. 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4715 Fine! You lit your face up and now the asteroid will find us. I’m not ready for this extinction stuff.” 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4716 ... And finally the last survivors were replaced by AI ... 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
4717 It was a bright and sunny day, the kind of day that makes humans want to sing! 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
4718 Roar! I’m almost as scary as man! 1.0968 0.03441 93 85 7 1
4719 Always use decent lighting or you'll look washed out and wrinkly on Zoom. 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
4720 No, it's not a mirror 1.0968 0.03441 93 85 7 1
4721 Ok. Now you’re really scaring me. 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
4722 Oh Harold, stop with the monster tails! 1.0968 0.03441 93 85 7 1
4723 Yeah, I think the technical term for it is 'LED Light Therapy'. It really gives the ol' scales a youthful glow. 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
4724 …then the chilli peppers disappeared! 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
4725 And there, hanging off the door handle of the car, was the tail of the comet! 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
4726 That’s not scary 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
4727 This setting scares away aliens; the other cone can shoot down asteroids! 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
4728 Ivan, is that really supposed to be scarier than snarling and breathing fire? 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
4729 It doesn't make me less hungry, man. 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
4730 This is what humans did eons ago, but they still couldn't see the way. 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
4731 They don't call it Dragon's Milk Scaly Peanut Butter Coffee Stout for nothing! 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
4732 ...and it suddenly turned and stared at me with horrible round blue eyes in a naked pink face, peeled of its scales causing it to make this terrible noise that made my own skin feel as if it could be torn off if I wandered alone in the dark. 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
4733 Somehow “me want cookie” doesn’t really scare me. 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
4734 Guess who? 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
4735 And that's why you should never eat a haunted house. 1.0962 0.03210 104 95 8 1
4736 You're not scary, T.R. What is scary is that someday the flashlight will be extinct! 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
4737 Prehistoric scary campfire stories ! 1.0959 0.03981 73 67 5 1
4738 And then they realized.... It was an asteroid! 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
4739 But then after Godzilla fought with King Kong they teamed up to fight MechaGodzilla who was the villain of them both! Boo!!!!!! 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
4740 No, no, I’m not a Spinosaurus; I’m an asteroid. 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
4741 Knock it off Jerry, it makes you look like Biden! 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
4742 Jeez Frank....that never gets old! 1.0959 0.04433 73 68 3 2
4743 Next time don't forget to bring the marshmallows 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
4744 And he suddenly saw a KID appear the rear view mirror. 1.0959 0.03981 73 67 5 1
4745 Sometimes we ignore how important is warm our feet 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
4746 I'm sorry, you're just not scary enough. 1.0959 0.03981 73 67 5 1
4747 And then, during the Younger Dryads, a comet shattered the peace of the globe, melted all the glaciers, and turned us all into tiny birds! Woooooooooo! 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
4748 Then the evil mouse said, "My name is Evolution!" 1.0959 0.03981 73 67 5 1
4749 But the label read... "Plant Based!" 1.0959 0.03981 73 67 5 1
4750 Do I look spooky now? 1.0959 0.03981 73 67 5 1
4751 No Jonny! I asked for something scarier than Kumbaya! 1.0957 0.03405 94 86 7 1
4752 And then the knight called me an evil dragon! 1.0957 0.03051 94 85 9 0
4753 Does this light still make my face look green? 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
4754 Think about extinction not as an ending, but as a process of transitioning. 1.0952 0.04361 63 58 4 1
4755 And they said, We taste GOOD! 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
4756 Long ago, scary monsters roamed around here. 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
4757 …and then they saw a ball of fire coming towards them from the sky! 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
4758 Baby it’s Cold Outside! 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
4759 I'm from corporate and I'm here to review your personnel file! 1.0952 0.04675 84 80 0 4
4760 And out of the dark, the most terrifying creature imaginable emerged from the wood: a human dressed in white fur laughing at the destruction of all we love. 1.0952 0.04015 84 78 4 2
4761 ... and then the human mother made her children feel VERY bad because they didn't call her enough, and THEN she threatened to stick her head in the oven. 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
4762 The monster bared small, blunt teeth and then said, 'Hi!' 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
4763 First, the wheel! 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
4764 Quit scaring me! You look like a human! 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
4765 Beavis your face scares me without your "scary monster" impression. 1.0952 0.04015 84 78 4 2
4766 So this accountant slowly enters the darkened room....as he slowly creeps across the floor…a street light shines through the cracked glass of the window... onto his silhouette…and in his black gloved hand…be's clutching a... a…a #2 pencil! 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
4767 It was a scary knight with a long sharp knife. He covered his horrible face with metal when suddenly he... 1.0947 0.03021 95 86 9 0
4768 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.... 1.0947 0.03371 95 87 7 1
4769 It was a bright and beautiful day… 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4770 And " BOOM", we all became extinct. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
4771 So we disagree? I say lithium batteries are the future...fire is SO yesterday. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
4772 ...and they call those terrifying beasts "humans". 1.0946 0.04375 74 69 3 2
4773 Yea, you should be scared; this is it, bro! 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4774 And then the meteor struck and everything went dark! 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4775 "And they called him the Planet Killer, because if he ever came to our world, everyone we know would be killed!" 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4776 It was a dark and stormy night, when suddenly a meteor appeared in the sky! 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4777 Doing this with a light makes us look so scary. 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4778 And a big asteroid fell from the sky 1.0946 0.04375 74 69 3 2
4779 Hey, I'm a brave knight and I'm here to rescue the beautiful princess...ha, ha, ha, you ought to see your face right now. 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4780 And then he used the wrong pronouns. 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4781 Did I scare her? Those weren't crocodile tears buddy. 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4782 If I hold the light just right I almost look human. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
4783 Uncle Rex, tell me the one about the asteroid again! 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4784 And then spectators paid money to see his bones hanging from the ceiling. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
4785 You brought me out here just to tell stories about yourself? 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4786 Are you doing that to scare me or are you calling Mothra again? 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4787 And the bunny? 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4788 In lieu of dandelions or butter cups, can you tell me if I like butter? 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
4789 And then they all lived happily ever after. 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4790 And he was forced to watch Jersey Shore until it drove him mad. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
4791 Thank goodness. My dorsal ganglia is finally warming up. Lets me think twice as fast. 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4792 Good job with fire, but why Karaoke? 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
4793 He was big, scary and on fire. They called him a-s-t-e-r-o-i-d. 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4794 And then these new creatures dug up our remains, reduced it to black slime and burned it to stay warm. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
4795 No Wall Needed 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
4796 And the animals played and laughed not knowing the evil meteor still was hurling on a collision course with their planet 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
4797 And so they waived all contingencies! 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
4798 And then a human showed up with s’mores 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
4799 Botox,fillers,and porcelain veneers! 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
4800 And just think, we will eventually evolve into a George Santos. 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
4801 And the lived happily ever after--the end! 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
4802 And then the Orange Man showed up again. 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
4803 Looking good Bill! 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
4804 Yes. Fire good. My fire stick better. 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
4805 ... And if they ever get sick, they have to pay for health insurance! 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
4806 Just drink this Red Bull and you'll turn into a Tyrranax Rex 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
4807 The Green Lady comes out at night and is known to bite your toes in your sleep. 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
4808 A gigantic meteor? Mass extinction? Oooooh, scary... NOT! 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
4809 That is the scariest yet! 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
4810 Eons later, we all become reincarnated into smaller and smaller pieces of microplastic. 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
4811 …and all they had to eat were tofu steaks. 1.0941 0.03969 85 79 4 2
4812 Baby, it's 3 AM, I must be lonely. 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
4813 I understand that it will attract comets! 1.0938 0.04295 64 59 4 1
4814 Flashlight works. 1.0938 0.02991 96 87 9 0
4815 The fuzzy mammal chased the lizard through the rain, the lizard got slower, but the mammal was unaffected 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
4816 Our forefathers talk of us breathing fire and mocking flashlit camping, or so the legend goes. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
4817 Jeez, every time St. George is about to show up in your story. 1.0933 0.04318 75 70 3 2
4818 And SeaDemon was forever remembered as Puff 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
4819 It was a dark & stormy night 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
4820 Oh stop it. Next thing you know you'll be pretending to be a can of oil. 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
4821 You look strangely ... human. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
4822 Millions of years ago, when fleshy bipeds roamed the earth… 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
4823 And then…she married her UNCLE! 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
4824 Oh, please. You’re trying too hard! 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
4825 The groaning gets louder and then out from the dark is a cave man with a hook!! Ahhhhh 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
4826 …and they were covered in feathers. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
4827 Don't worry is non-alcoholic 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
4828 And then, BOOM, the comet hits the planet, and we all go extinct! 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
4829 Then I lip sync Roy Orbison 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
4830 And then Ghidorah and Mothra showed up. 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
4831 And then...a great ball of fire appeared in the sky! 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
4832 And legend has it that human deforestation is happening to this very day... 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
4833 Don’t stand up comedians stand! 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
4834 ...And then an asteroid hits. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
4835 And then instead of fire, she breathed out hot tomato soup 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
4836 ...and then a massive rock falls out of the sky, we all get burnt to a cinder and get replaced with these horrible little chimp-like things! 1.0933 0.04318 75 70 3 2
4837 Look, what a good dental cleaning did on my teeth. 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
4838 the tax audit was calling from inside the house 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
4839 And then one day the emissions will destroy the planet! 1.0930 0.03558 86 79 6 1
4840 Knock it off, Allen; You'll attract the spear throwers again! 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
4841 That's not what I meant when I said, "Bring a torch," and you are not Jeanette Isabella. 1.0930 0.03558 86 79 6 1
4842 And they will only have vegan food, too. 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
4843 ...soft, squishy, and had weird stuff growing out of their heads. 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
4844 And then the handsome prince enters.. 1.0930 0.03558 86 79 6 1
4845 The dentist says my new filed teeth are very becoming. 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
4846 I hate when you get spooky. 1.0923 0.04231 65 60 4 1
4847 And there were no high rises.....only modern farmhouse 1.0923 0.04231 65 60 4 1
4848 And the last flame of the meteor is RIGHT HERE! 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
4849 And then a human jumps out of the bushes! 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
4850 Yeah,no…I’m not so scared as you’d think 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
4851 ... and then the Cretaceous Period started! 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
4852 And then the human came out! 1.0923 0.04231 65 60 4 1
4853 ...and then they decided to reboot for the prequel! 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
4854 Did you hear the one about the asteroid? 1.0921 0.04262 76 71 3 2
4855 Nothing you do scares me little brother 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
4856 So I says to the police guy tryin to handcuff my tiny hands, "you understand I breathe fire don't you" ? Yea, he and his partner will be joining us for karaoke tonight ! This one's called "Walk On By" by Burt Bacharach 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
4857 And when he climbed to the top of the city's tallest building, the airplanes started shooting at him! 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
4858 It went "Trump, trump, trump." And then the scary human jumped out of a bush, and attacked the little dragons with fake news. 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
4859 Show me your other side 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
4860 Did you see St. George when I gummed over my teeth? 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
4861 Tell me another human spooky story 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
4862 And he had to pay taxes.....wooooo! 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
4863 And, in time, our bones will be used to destroy the world. 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
4864 I knew I would regret joining the climate science camp. 1.0921 0.04262 76 71 3 2
4865 And then she released “Anti-Hero” 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
4866 Yo, catch my new moonlight grille. 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
4867 Suddenly she realized the chicxulub was calling from inside the house! 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
4868 I told you… no amount of light will make you appear less dangerous… 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
4869 Then, his expression fierce, his aim certain, he released the giant arrow that would seek out the one small hole in Smaug’s armored breast… 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
4870 And the world was filled with tall, hairless ground monkeys that burned our exhumed remains in their pterodactyl machines! 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
4871 And the maiden and her knight in shining armor lived happily...ever...AFTER! 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
4872 OOhhh....when you do that, you look just like that monster....Manzilla! 1.0920 0.03880 87 81 4 2
4873 Actually, I don’t think long term. 1.0920 0.03116 87 79 8 0
4874 Then hundreds of humans came rushing toward me with spears in hand! 1.0920 0.03880 87 81 4 2
4875 When she was partially evolved they called her MTG. 1.0920 0.03116 87 79 8 0
4876 But unknown to that poor little girl, a giant fireball was headed directly for the Earth! 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
4877 And then the Humans came out and said "Booooo!" 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
4878 I invent fire and you go and invent a flashlight… Hey… what’s that big fire ball streaking through the sky???” {gulp 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
4879 And then they exhumed his corpse to power the 2023 Wagoneer. 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
4880 And just then, when the scary men who came to kidnap the dinosaur eggs turned on the lights, whammo! 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
4881 Wow! We are so not Cretaceous! 1.0909 0.04208 77 72 3 2
4882 and then they used our oil to fuel a RAV4 purchased at a toyotathon! 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
4883 But I don't want to say Dracarys. 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
4884 Little did they know Chinese dragons were watching their every move from a surveillance balloon. 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
4885 But I've already earned my Storytelling badge! 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
4886 And then, the deadly cabal of greed-crazed lemurs poisoned the atmosphere, driving our children to agonizing, slow deaths, and eventually killing all life on Earth! 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
4887 And when they looked outside, they saw a person without any sharp teeth or claws, no tail, not even a hook hand. It was ... some GUY! 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
4888 The knight removed his helmet and read from his scroll, ‘I am Sir Poindexter, from the IRS. You have yet to claim any plundered treasure.’ 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
4889 Then the hairy thing said, 'I bet your arms are even too pathetic to hold this flashlight,' to which I replied, 'let me have that!,' and I ate him. 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
4890 I call it predator fright night. 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
4891 After the asteroid strikes Earth, all that will be left of us is bones and a disappointing movie franchise. 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
4892 Not really all that much scarier. 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
4893 You're freaking me out!!!! Still, cant get over that you invented fire. 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
4894 'And in the next century,' said the spooky Oracle, 'your kind will be wiped out of the face of the Earth forever! Your remains will be used for mechanical vehicles fabricated by mammals.' 1.0909 0.04208 77 72 3 2
4895 now you can see how unhappy I feel 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
4896 and then, this huge rock fell from the sky, and——KILLED EVERTHING! 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
4897 One night, a little dinosaur met a curator of the Natural History Museum in the woods . . . 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
4898 And then everyone cried, 'Look Up, Look Up!' 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
4899 Uninsured medical expenses… 1.0909 0.04208 77 72 3 2
4900 There once lived a dinosaur 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
4901 It turned around slowly, grinned at me and said : "I am a hugger!" 1.0909 0.04208 77 72 3 2
4902 Did I do better on my flossing tonight? 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
4903 Stop! You're scaring me. You look like George Clooney! 1.0909 0.03837 88 82 4 2
4904 And then the knight started to slowly pull out his sword. 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
4905 Oooohhh... You're almost human! 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
4906 ...then the kid grabbed Earl by the tail and banged him on a table shouting 'ROAR'!" Earl walks with a limp to this day 1.0909 0.03480 88 81 6 1
4907 Please, not again the story of that massive asteroid that got us extinct. 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
4908 It IS a face only a Mothra would love 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
4909 Did you see that falling star last night? It's getting very dusty now. 1.0909 0.03082 88 80 8 0
4910 There’s these things called S’mores 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
4911 . . . the powerpoint presentation flashed in front of him and he let out a blood-curdling "Meh. 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
4912 And then a DRAGON appeared out of the darkness.... 1.0909 0.03082 88 80 8 0
4913 Don’t tempt fate 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
4914 Then they were turned into a non-renewable resource…. 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
4915 And the meteor smashed into the earth and sent us onto a deep dark perpetual winter. 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
4916 Those boy scouts left all the lights on. 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
4917 ... and the she says yes 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
4918 And the operator said "The meteor is coming from upstairs!" 1.0899 0.03795 89 83 4 2
4919 beware of monsters in the woods! 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
4920 Yes, I see it... looks like a hair from some kind of upright creature. 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
4921 And there was the Princess, tied to a post. Then from a distant hill came the sound of a charging horse . . . 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
4922 Too bad they don't make flashlights that can be used in caves. 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
4923 I see a big rock falling from the sky and destroying everything 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
4924 And then the government introduced an Absolute vs. Relative price scheme in order to manipulate the Consumer price index. 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
4925 Look, cool light! 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
4926 I was in the attic, admiring the green amulet, which was probably an emerald, when all of a sudden...Fred's Angels jumped out of nowhere! And Fred, their leader, Fred harnessed the power of the sun with the ancient amulet I hid in the attic." 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
4927 If you are lucky, your bones will be dug out after 80,000 years 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
4928 And then all the dinosaurs turned to oil. (The beginning of) the end. 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
4929 Count Automobile crept toward her and whispered, " I want your petroleum!" 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
4930 You still have bits of knight between your teeth. 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
4931 Scary enough? 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
4932 And then Sir Guy pulled out a fire extinguisher...! 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
4933 A boy named Pete forces you to be his imaginary friend and sticks you in a lighthouse like it's some kind of great idea. 1.0897 0.04156 78 73 3 2
4934 And then, suddenly, a giant orange ball appeared out of the night sky, trailing fire and speeding straight toward earth..... 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
4935 Just a relic from the old days. 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
4936 I brought along a flashlight because fire hasn't been invented yet. 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
4937 …and then he forgot to file his quarterly report! 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
4938 Gee, humans, are they really going to be real? 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
4939 and, when we got home from the date, he wanted to watch the Rosanne stand-up special. 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
4940 ARRRGGHHH...wait...is this ...thank god! What time is it anyway? 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
4941 See? I look like a human! 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
4942 It all started with the dawn of Hu-Man 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
4943 You still cannot compete with the dreadful look of the modern civilization. 1.0897 0.04156 78 73 3 2
4944 Objects in mirror are closer than they appear 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
4945 If you listen closely you can still hear the asteroid lurking in these woods 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
4946 Ooh, look at me, I'm a human. 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
4947 And while the two young monsters made out in the back seat the knight crept up and put their friend’s severed head on the hood of the car … 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
4948 They'll never believe you did that. 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
4949 And it was full of per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances!! 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
4950 TRUMP!! 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
4951 Well, I for one am glad we've straightened out the difference between flashlight and fleshlight. 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
4952 And later that same epoch… 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
4953 And then the Human's God said, "Let there be light". 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
4954 Do I have any smoldering embers stuck in my teeth? 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
4955 ...and you had to live INSIDE walls, with these glass panels called "windows", and your fire smoke was trapped under a ceiling, while your water supply was off unless you turned a knob... 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
4956 Then the plump little knight pulled out a big shiny sword. Oh no! 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
4957 I get it. I'm supposed to be sacred. 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
4958 Then suddenly a blazing light streaked across the sky.... 1.0896 0.04626 67 63 2 2
4959 This is my 'Junior, it's bedtime look'. 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
4960 I’m telling Mom. There’s no such thing as knights in shining armor! 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
4961 It's nice and fun but I'd rather have a fireplace 1.0896 0.04626 67 63 2 2
4962 Campfire Dragon Tales 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
4963 Turn that off..you don't want the other campers to be scared of you 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
4964 Once upon a time humans will roam the land.. 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
4965 And then a hand reach up from my toilet….. 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
4966 Another story please! But not the one about Godzilla. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
4967 Back in the days of damsel distress, I bested a knight, I'm here to confess!" 1.0889 0.03017 90 82 8 0
4968 When the human girl got out of her car, she found the ghost pirate's hook hanging on the door handle. And then I ate her. 1.0889 0.03405 90 83 6 1
4969 They came from above, pink with terrible tufts of sparse hair, blunt nails and revolting corn kernel teeth… 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
4970 That's not scary. How about a caveman face instead? 1.0886 0.04104 79 74 3 2
4971 And then they chopped him into a million chicken nuggets. 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
4972 How does this pose look? 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
4973 It’ll take more than THAT to scare me! 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
4974 Do I look likw 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
4975 You're right: Humans are tasty. But they do make some nifty gadgets like this flashlight. 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
4976 Seriously? You're afraid of the dentist? Don't you want piano keys like these? 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
4977 It makes you look like that scary shiester Donald Trump! 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
4978 There as a full moon, so the humans were about. 1.0886 0.04104 79 74 3 2
4979 Don't you think I am scarier without the light on? 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
4980 Great present but where do I get batteries? 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
4981 You look nothing like those scary humans. 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
4982 Ya got moonlight, firelight and flashlight, but you're not very bright." "I see moonlight, firelight and flashlight, but you're not very bright." "I see moonlight, firelight and a flashlight, but you're not too bright." "I see 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
4983 ...and then the human child roared and gnashed its ferocious teeth. 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
4984 Are you...Dentalsaurus? 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
4985 … and it was a HUMAN! 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
4986 the dentist did good work! 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
4987 I’ve heard the scary human story 10 times. 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
4988 And the mushroom man said “I’m sorry…your princess is in another castle!” 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
4989 That story’s as old as the dinosaurs. 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
4990 Stop that! You look like a small furry mammal and it’s scaring the kids. 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
4991 It makes me look scary” 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
4992 Try this. It's my favorite scare 'em move. 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
4993 When Morgoth awoke, there were hundreds of IRS agents weighing his horde of gold! 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
4994 ...and then the humans came with pointed sticks to kill us and then they invented something something called fire and they cooked us and then they ate us. 1.0882 0.04559 68 64 2 2
4995 And suddenly, in the light, A KNIGHT! 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
4996 And its skin was covered in metal! 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
4997 OK, pretty boy, you were blessed with a couple of bad angles. 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
4998 I'm Joe Biden,and I just gave fossil fuels another decade! 1.0882 0.04559 68 64 2 2
4999 And then 'Jurassic World Dominion' ruined dino movies forever! 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
5000 Mothra is so gonna kick your ass. 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
5001 That's gross, Liam. 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
5002 …and they fed their offspring from their own bodies… 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
5003 Can I charge this on the fire? 1.0879 0.03369 91 84 6 1
5004 If you ask me what's really scary is that the Kansas City Chiefs still haven't changed their name! 1.0879 0.03714 91 85 4 2
5005 Last Week fire, this week electricity, and if we can avoid extinction, atomic energy will soon follow. 1.0879 0.03714 91 85 4 2
5006 Forget ghost stories. This is my microphone, and I'm going to now serenade you with song. 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
5007 That was only funny the first five times, Andy. 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
5008 Yes, it is all about me......... 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
5009 Can you see any plastic surgery scars? 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
5010 Scary human stories. 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
5011 And then Wally Cox came out from under the bed! 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
5012 And the asteroid hurtled closer…closer…closer! 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
5013 And there were fire extinguishers, everywhere. 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
5014 fire hot 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
5015 I turned the corner, and there was a human! 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
5016 So this human puts their thumb out and a vehicle stops they get in and just disappears? 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
5017 At last, finally, I feel like I'm really being seen. 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
5018 Can you stop dragging this out? 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
5019 I love California. I mean, who doesn’t, right? But have y’all been to La Brea? That place is the pits! 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
5020 I’m scary and camping can be terrifying—for emphasis I’m going to eat you. 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
5021 And when he looked in the mirror, he had hard beak for a nose and his face was covered in colorful feathers. 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
5022 Then the knight slayed the dragon, saved the princess......and they lived happily ever after. 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
5023 “That’s hot.” 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
5024 …and then this mean ol’ asteroid fell and….BOOM! 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
5025 Relax. Don't worry about it. We'll be out of here in no time at all, anyway. 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
5026 And then a meteor crashed and we were extinct but became a movie franchise that would gross more than a billion dollars at box office. 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
5027 Then they dig up your bones and put them behind glass for the other two-footers to stare at. 1.0870 0.04495 69 65 2 2
5028 No, nothin’ scarier than the fact that we’re on our way out …. 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
5029 And the little kid was right on top of the bed! 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
5030 But in the end, the human fossil fuels were in this flashlight! 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
5031 It shows (no pun intended) that we can be lit or not lit, without any of that "Allegory of the Cave" stuff. 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
5032 Molars and incisors? You should see my backbone. 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
5033 And? Do I still have some kid stuck between my teeth? 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
5034 And in November of 2016 he was ELECTED!!! 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
5035 Let’s tell each other some scary stories 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
5036 And then the meteor turned us into asphalt! 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
5037 Its a bright fire, but gives off no heat! 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
5038 Suddenly the mammals saw a huge mysterious monolith! 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
5039 Let me assure you, technology won't be the reason we're obsolete 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
5040 Lets face it. We are all destined to become ghosts of ourselves. So let's enjoy this while we still can. 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
5041 Look what my wife bought me for X mas. 1.0864 0.04005 81 76 3 2
5042 Yep. That's the face you made when that camper shined that flashlight in your face. 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
5043 You invented the flashlight and this is the best you could do? 1.0864 0.04005 81 76 3 2
5044 Stop that!” You are going to make me dream about monsters! 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
5045 Aw, Dad. That old flashlight under the chin trick doesn’t scare me anymore. 1.0864 0.04005 81 76 3 2
5046 ...the asteroid FLASHED and the sky burned, and dinosaurs learned to breathe fire. 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
5047 Are there hairs on my chinee-chin-chin? 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
5048 This was not any old asteroid, for it would disrupt our climate and kill off each and every dinosaur. 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
5049 stop with the scary campfire stories. there are no monsters out here! 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
5050 ...and that’s how the tiny humans will kill off the dinosaurs and take control of Earth. 1.0860 0.02923 93 85 8 0
5051 That flashlight is really bright 1.0860 0.03299 93 86 6 1
5052 ...and then a big long red truck with an unlimited water supply appeared. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5053 Relax. It's only a campfire story. There's no real meteor. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5054 Please Larry, stop it with the "asteroid stories". 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5055 And he only had a tiny hook for a hand ... 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
5056 THIS WILL SCARE THE RAPTORS !! 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5057 And just like that...gas flames were banned! 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5058 Your head is not in shape of the batman. We are sentenced to extinction. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5059 Welcome to a new era! 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5060 A campfire, a flashlight, what's next--s'mores? 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5061 Do you think my veneers look natural? 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5062 And the knight's quest was coming from INSIDE the dragon's cave! 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5063 And then they announced a prequal series! 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
5064 I liked the part when the meteor missed. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5065 And then the campers thought they heard two creatures in the woods. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5066 Flashlight is so becoming. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5067 ...and then Little Dino saw the asteroid getting closer and closer. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5068 I look ever so much better when I'm lit from below. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5069 ...and then the human called Joe called 9-1-1. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5070 Where did you meet JZ? 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
5071 It is so scary when you embody all the horrors of this world. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5072 And then the knight in shining armor stabbed him in the pecker... 1.0854 0.03557 82 76 5 1
5073 Well tell Chicken Little he better fly like an agle. 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
5074 how do i look in the light of a night buttercup, Buttercup? 1.0854 0.03557 82 76 5 1
5075 Okay. But can you do a bunny? 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
5076 And then they ate this gooey, chocolaty mess and their teeth were stuck forever! 1.0854 0.03557 82 76 5 1
5077 We’ll miss the Golden Globes by like 400 Million years . 1.0854 0.04321 82 78 1 3
5078 Night time ghost storyteller 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
5079 That makes you look scary! 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
5080 Let's enjoy the present moment with acceptance 1.0851 0.03265 94 87 6 1
5081 Snap. Crackle. Pop! See - NOT from my lips. 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5082 Couldn't you have invented something useful like an immersion blender? 1.0845 0.04370 71 67 2 2
5083 And he discovered the hoard of gold was nothing more than…chocolate coins! 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5084 "Don't worry. There's no way I could scare you to death. After all, we'll be here until the end of time." 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5085 And then the evil knight reached for his fire extinguisher! 1.0845 0.04370 71 67 2 2
5086 ...And then, without warning, a meteor struck! 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5087 So then I told him I’m ET and I need to phone home and suddenly there’s kids everywhere. 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5088 And, the comet came and obliterated all life on the planet! Scary, no? 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5089 Stop! You know that I'm scared of the light. 1.0845 0.04370 71 67 2 2
5090 And then they show their scary teeth! 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5091 Watch out," they said, "for a reptile with a hook for a claw ...." 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5092 And he pooped machine guns and bullet-proof vests for a week! 1.0845 0.04370 71 67 2 2
5093 And she fluffed her curls, brushed a marshmallow from her pink princess dress, and gave the unicorn a soft hug. 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5094 Of the two that entered the cave, only the hideous dragon-slaying human came limping out of the shadows….and all that was left was a puff of smoke…. 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5095 Wanna hear something scary? 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5096 Uhm.....you're Bela Lagosi! ? 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5097 Ain't no ice age! 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5098 Just then, an ASTEROID came hurtling to earth! 1.0845 0.04370 71 67 2 2
5099 You’re not scary. Dinosaurs are scary to humans, but not if it’s dinosaur to dinosaur! 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5100 Stop it, you'll give me KNIGHTmares!! 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5101 (Right side) I thought we're supposed to spit fire,not sit around it? (Left side) If you hadn't had us drinking thos zillah drink's, we wouldn't be grounded. 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5102 But the third installment only made $368 million worldwide. 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5103 Your mom thinks I’m cute, how ‘bout you? 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5104 I got new teeth. How do they look? 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5105 On a stormy dark night, it appeared. 90 miles wide by 12 miles deep... 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5106 And then the big monster ate the little monster. The End 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5107 Rawrawrawrawrawrawraw. 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5108 And mammals came to rule the Earth. 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5109 Once upon a time scaleless little creatures took it upon themselves to play god, and brought us back from our long extinct remains they found in bugs. All we have to show for their genius is a few fat friends, the boneyards, fire, flashlights, and the ability to “sit”” 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5110 And when they looked at the door handle, they saw… a note asking to speak to the manager! 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5111 And then they made trashy jackets out of them! 1.0843 0.03069 83 76 7 0
5112 You KNOW I hate when you do that: now I'm gonna have nightmares about humans!!! 1.0843 0.03911 83 78 3 2
5113 Actually you look less scary 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
5114 And then a huge asteroid come crashing into the earth... 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
5115 You’re scaring the hell out of me! 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
5116 ...and when he opened the door, there stood his greatest fear-- a mirror! 1.0843 0.03069 83 76 7 0
5117 There once was an asteroid... 1.0843 0.03911 83 78 3 2
5118 You really look scary 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
5119 This campfire is just a spark compared with the daytime BBQ that's lurking in the sky, 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
5120 And as he flew over the town, suddenly a white balloon came out of nowhere! 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
5121 Aren't you worried that that will make us irrelevant? 1.0842 0.03232 95 88 6 1
5122 In the year 2000, Marilyn Monroe will come back from the dead to admit the only Kennedy she slept with was Rose. 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5123 Thankfully, the meteor was never seen again 1.0833 0.03474 84 78 5 1
5124 And then the human came out of the bushes….. 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5125 I like my flashlight for light, but the fire is better for comfort. 1.0833 0.04311 72 68 2 2
5126 Turn it off before Fred & Barney come to bum a ride! 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
5127 Then, out of nowhere, Harry Potter appeared. 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
5128 And then... They stopped moving! 1.0833 0.03474 84 78 5 1
5129 That was when he realized dinner wouldn't be meatier... 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
5130 Spooky? No, actually I think you look kinda sexy. 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5131 And they call themselves ... humans! 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5132 That's the same scary face your mother gave us when you told her we were getting married. " M.Walsh Philadelphia, P 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
5133 wanna hear a silly-goosey scary story?! 1.0833 0.03474 84 78 5 1
5134 Happy Camper. 1.0833 0.03199 96 89 6 1
5135 And then the asteroid came down and wiped us out, just kidding, bro. 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
5136 Tonights breaking news: FIRE! - Now back to you, Dino 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5137 And I thought it was scary before the light was on. 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5138 No thanks. My doc says no salt on anything. 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
5139 I did eat a few of the aligners, but it was totally worth it." 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5140 And the children called him...Barney. 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
5141 Beware of Karaoke Knight 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5142 And now they have instructional videos on how to train us! 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5143 I call it a Tesla. 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5144 But even after a whole night's treatment with the ointment, THE SCALES WERE STILL THERE! 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5145 Then the damsel cried ‘the fire is coming from inside the house.’ 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5146 Yeah. OK; scary. Meanwhile I’m feeling a bit chilly. Are you freeing chilly? 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
5147 And it was so cold that even his flame throwing breath would not help. Oooooooooh!! 1.0833 0.03598 60 55 5 0
5148 Sorry, the piece of spinach makes it kind of funny 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
5149 It's time for a horror story: Once upon a time there were humans who spat fire from their cannons. 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5150 Your stories about humans are scarier... 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5151 Once upon an aeon, a small humanoid pierced a white spongy cylindrical object with a lateral branch, tortured it by fire and then consumed it. 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
5152 But it turned out that the damsel was entirely made out of...antacid! 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
5153 That's it? King King is going to kick your butt. 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
5154 Volcanoes erupted everywhere and we saw a huge asteroid in the sky… 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
5155 They were bipedal, and without any scales. But worst of all, they had opposable thumbs! 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
5156 They think this makes them look scary. 1.0825 0.03490 97 91 4 2
5157 And so the self-driving MechaGodzilla turned into Tokyo Bay before even reaching the city! 1.0825 0.03167 97 90 6 1
5158 ... and the only way anyone knew our hero ever existed was by finding his bones in the ground millions of years later! 1.0824 0.02999 85 78 7 0
5159 And so,the horrifying creature with no spikes entered Godzilla’s house. 1.0824 0.03435 85 79 5 1
5160 Scary ptery! Scary ptery! Shall I go on? 1.0824 0.02999 85 78 7 0
5161 Stop, please! Creepy Asteroid!! 1.0824 0.03435 85 79 5 1
5162 Can you go softer than a Lulibye . 1.0824 0.03435 85 79 5 1
5163 Look! I'm the scary Boy Scout. 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5164 And there, hanging on the car door, was a FIRE EXTINGUISHER! 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5165 And then the knight on horseback charged Uncle Al, who had been minding his own business! 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5166 You idiot handsome look like a fool honey. 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5167 but the scary part is, "Which of us invented fire?" 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
5168 Then his ghost said, "You have my golden paw!" 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5169 And the "ice age" climate change terrorist was...right behind you! 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
5170 The first documented reference of "It was a dark and stormy night." 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5171 And then, the humans invented Face Book! 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
5172 . . . then they realized. . . the MYSTERIOUS CALLS . . . WERE COMING . . . FROM . . . INSIDE . . . the monster! ha ha ha . . . ha ha ha. 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5173 ...and then...and then she saw the cold-blooded killer's claw slowly rising out of the primeval ooze. 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5174 And then the MAMMALS took over! 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
5175 . . . and then, after the meteor struck . . . 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5176 Stop it, Cyril! You look like a human and it's freaking me out. 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5177 Have you heard the story of George and the Dragon? Well,there was once this terrible creature named George 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
5178 ...and then a meteorite made all the dinosaurs extinct and they became fossils and then millions of years went by and then they became thick black stuff and then people burned it to keep warm. The End. 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5179 The car stopped dead in its tracks. The arrow pointed at a red F. “But we have to get back home or els… “Use me,” he said to the human. “I could never!” he shot back. “It’ll be okay.” Holding back tears, the human opened the gas tank. He jumped in. 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5180 Dragon flashlights HAVE evolved. 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5181 That flashlight just makes you look more horny. 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5182 Great schtick, but a bit ahead of its time. 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
5183 Wtf Kevin, you scared the devil out of me! 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5184 Hey,switch to 1890 s man!!!Look at me and just get the time travel vibes! 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
5185 What they didn’t see behind the door was an asteroid with a chainsaw in one hand and a meat cleaver in the other. 1.0820 0.04243 61 57 3 1
5186 And they call them…fossil fuels. 1.0820 0.04243 61 57 3 1
5187 And then the goblin waved the five fingers of its smooth, ugly hand and invented flame-retardant fabric. 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
5188 That’s a good one! It’s really gonna knock ‘em out in the post-historic age. 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
5189 I love you more than I want to eat you. 1.0816 0.03455 98 92 4 2
5190 ...and then we'll all be killed by a meteorite. 1.0814 0.02966 86 79 7 0
5191 Once upon a time, there was this huge asteroid plummeting towards earth.. 1.0814 0.02966 86 79 7 0
5192 …and after the thieving little hobbit tipped off the evil bowman about Smaug’s bare spot on his belly, an arrow sliced through our brave hero’s abdomen and into his heart. As he lay dying, he could hear the bowman’s evil laugh, bwa-ha-ha! 1.0814 0.03777 86 81 3 2
5193 Stop with scary extinction ghost stories! 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
5194 Listen to this. It's My Raymond Burr Impressio 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
5195 And then they all pointed and screamed at you! 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
5196 This horror story starts with a meteor... 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
5197 ... and then 'the Rock' showed up ... 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
5198 Our therapist warned me about this, Harry. She said you might display some avoidant behaviors when I put your feet to the fire and bring up the M word. 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
5199 And then the terrifying Boy Scout vanished, never to be seen again. 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
5200 This will help you see your dinner but it won't warm your feet! 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
5201 Sorry, can you move your head a little I think I lost you there. 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
5202 Then the egg cracked open. And a baby T-Rex crawled out. And it was purple with a green belly. 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
5203 Very good, but we're going to need that light if there's a power cut. 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
5204 'Let your light shine' will also keep your face warm. 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
5205 No cavities! See I told you those green needles are good for flossing. 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
5206 I don’t know what it’s for either. 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
5207 And then there was an asteroid and we were the last two to survive. Now go to sleep son. 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
5208 Your face is c 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
5209 Now I'm going to tell you a scary homo sapien story. 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
5210 C'mon, Alice. Stop trying to guild the lily. 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
5211 Suddenly, the human took out his phone and said "check out this funny video I found, it's only like ten minutes", and then he held it out in front of me and I had to watch the whole thing while he watched to see if I was laughing. 1.0806 0.04768 62 59 1 2
5212 And there, in her lair, was a human hand still gripping just the hilt of a sword. 1.0805 0.02933 87 80 7 0
5213 ...and then, out of no where, comes this gigantic asteroid plunging towards the planet. Boom! The end. 1.0805 0.03358 87 81 5 1
5214 I guess you can say this really lightens the mood. 1.0805 0.03358 87 81 5 1
5215 Not sure the idea to combine Comicon and camping vibes was so great after all. 1.0805 0.02933 87 80 7 0
5216 But the Man with Flame-Retardant Coveralls is just a story, right? 1.0805 0.02933 87 80 7 0
5217 and then I lost the keys to the car... 1.0805 0.02933 87 80 7 0
5218 ...and you know what the caption read? Cow tools! 1.0805 0.04077 87 83 1 3
5219 Then they spotted a ball of fire falling through the sky..... 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5220 And then one day, they discovered his missing body, buried deep underground. 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
5221 Maybe we should just be Facebook friends 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5222 We're dragons...how is that suppose to be scary! 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5223 There was once a spooky asteroid 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
5224 I know your new invention doesn't require batteries,but.. 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
5225 Honestly, it's not scary. We need the smoke and fire but our carbon footprint needs to be scaled back. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5226 ...and they called it - Jurassic Park! 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5227 Stop trying to scare me! 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
5228 I saw a Stegosaurus with a Chinese Menu in his hand... 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5229 Just not another librarian one… those monsters give me nightmares! 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5230 This is the story of Barney, the ape wearing purple dinosaur skin. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5231 And then Sam Neill and Laura Dern came walking out of the woods..... 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5232 I think Invisalign would make a world of difference. A good bite won’t hurt your chances with the ladies either! 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
5233 Look Dino, I'm a HuuuMAN 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5234 Here’s another ‘scaly tail’, so try to ‘steg’ with me. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5235 This flashlight adds the fear factor. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5236 But then an asteroid approached earth. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5237 ... and after the asteroid hit Earth, the scary humans became extinct. 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
5238 condos! " 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
5239 And then, there it was, hurtling towards the planet … the giant rock. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5240 But the building wouldn't fall over... and it wouldn't even melt! 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5241 What could be the last two dinosaurs on Earth conspire to take back the land that was once theirs. How they've remained so elusive is a marvel, but it seems they're done hiding. They don't, however, seem to have the same sentiments about their plan. 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
5242 It was a cold and windy paleo protoposeic night on the bus going home from basketball practice when I stuck out the window my right hand... 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5243 You’re nothing more than a bump on a log. 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
5244 Whoa! Real scary....NOT! 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
5245 and then...humans came 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5246 Is your answer still no? 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5247 I always carry it. Scared campers taste so much better! 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
5248 Are you scared??? 1.0795 0.02901 88 81 7 0
5249 And then...they went crazy and made JURASSIC PARK VII 1.0795 0.02901 88 81 7 0
5250 This next story is about a socialite who flew people...yes, those 2 legged delicacies you're so fond of...to a mysterious island." "Is this a whore story?" "Yes, I call it "Things that go Hump in the night. 1.0795 0.02901 88 81 7 0
5251 So puff the magic dragon sadly slipped into his cave, and then St. George killed him with a spear ... 1.0795 0.02901 88 81 7 0
5252 The door slowly creaked open and he saw it. A ghastly face. A face without scales. 1.0795 0.02901 88 81 7 0
5253 ``I'm telling you, flossing has changed my life.'' 1.0795 0.02901 88 81 7 0
5254 Okay, I'll tell it again... a very naughty animal made every human in the world very sick. They all wore scary masks, bought lots and lots of toilet paper, and never went outside. 1.0795 0.03321 88 82 5 1
5255 And then, this huge rock came out of the sky at a high rate of speed and crashed to the ground. 1.0794 0.04112 63 59 3 1
5256 You’ll have to try harder. Remember, I’m a dragon. 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
5257 Then he rolled the die, and it was another 20! 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
5258 ...and then the meteor said "BOO!" 1.0792 0.03045 101 94 6 1
5259 Why do you always have to be so scary? 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5260 Your face just isn't frightening dear. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5261 Then suddenly a meteorite lit up the sky ... 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5262 I'm surprised I can actually hold a flashlight. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5263 And then....we evolve into birds! 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5264 Saint George is going to be really mad when he learns of your bad impersonations of him. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5265 Your flossing skills are scary good. 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
5266 I’m in no mood for any scary human stories! 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5267 ...And then, they made five sequels! 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5268 'But we don't own any clown statues,' said the Father. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5269 And then Chris Pratt threatened us with extinction.... 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5270 The so-called Cretaceous period has been predicted. Fake news! 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5271 ...and as the teenagers arrived at the summer camp, someone or something watched from across the lake... 1.0789 0.04088 76 72 2 2
5272 You still have some night in your teeth. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5273 And when we got home we found a bloody claw hanging from the door handle. 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
5274 Yikes! That light makes you look road rage. 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
5275 And when they looked up, the meteor seemed to have a terrifying grin as it hurdled toward the earth. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5276 And that was the end of the hairy gene-editing monsters that gave live birth. 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
5277 - And that´s how future will be! - You are crazy, a giant rock will never fall from the sky. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5278 Is that light thing supposed to make you look less scary? 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5279 Many tasty campfire morsels to scout here - but beware the Brownies - you'll be living on the toilet for a week. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5280 And then the young human grabbed an assault rifle and killed everyone but the dog. 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
5281 We don't know any songs! 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5282 Have you ever seen teeth as white as these?!? 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5283 Once upon a time, there were horrendous monsters called humans! 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
5284 The calls are coming from inside the castle! 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
5285 Die Naaaaah Sourrrr.. 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
5286 And when he turned on the lights, there it was, a bottle of moisturizer! 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5287 And it blocked out the sun forever! 1.0787 0.02870 89 82 7 0
5288 Dad, you look like a scary mammal -- tell another spooky story. 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
5289 It was a warm and sunny day and all our prey could spot us from miles away. 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
5290 ... and then the cute little girl said, 'Did the monster maybe look like THIS?' 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
5291 ..and then the little furry animals turned into bigger mostly hairless animals that destroyed the world! 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
5292 Yes,I see the resemblance to Paul Gossar,but he never smiles. 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
5293 ...and the cartoon had no caption! 1.0781 0.04049 64 60 3 1
5294 And then humans began to dominate the planet and destroy it. 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
5295 What d’ya mean Crocodile Dundee? He’s not even a crocodile, stupid!! 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
5296 And then after fire I invented the battery! 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
5297 ..and then a man wearing a suit of ARMOR jumps out of the bushes and says “Got your nose !” 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
5298 No I got it, "The stealthy Stegosaurus"? 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
5299 Let's play - Spotlight on the monster 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
5300 Do you think I look better in this light? 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
5301 Who needs a fire, I brought a flashlight? 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
5302 ...and through and through, the vorpal blade went snicker-snack! 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
5303 When, suddenly, from out of the shadows leaped Chris Pratt! 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
5304 Somehow that's just not right for the story about the meteor. 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
5305 And that's when I destroyed all of Tokyo! 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
5306 Then, by the light of the meteor, he saw a whole lot of tree shrews laughing at him. 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
5307 And then the asteroid caught on fire! 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
5308 And they were all killed by the meteor! Bwahaha! 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
5309 You need to have your uppers checked, hon! 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
5310 Sorry, you are not any more scary than I. 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
5311 I know you think it's funny, but it's no joke -- he had that same smile just before I ate him, and I haven't been able to sleep a wink since. 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
5312 Once upon a time there were them, the humans... 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
5313 Ok, here's a hint. I'm basically a face who endorses a savvy genius sayin The Asteroid Thing is a hoax 1.0778 0.02839 90 83 7 0
5314 I really wish you wouldn’t reinforce negative stereotypes of us Draco the Annihilator 1.0778 0.02839 90 83 7 0
5315 That’s a good story dad, but check out this shooting star- 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
5316 I think you look better in the dark. 1.0769 0.03988 65 61 3 1
5317 You have more fun camping with our kids; so stop eating them. 1.0769 0.03543 78 73 4 1
5318 ...and then he saw Prince Charming in his back yard! 1.0769 0.03543 78 73 4 1
5319 As the story goes... Mr. T-Rex COULD use a toothbrush! 1.0769 0.03543 78 73 4 1
5320 I can’t see anything. Please make sure I don’t die in the fire. 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
5321 At least, I tried! 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
5322 This evening’s selection in our Shakespeare in the Park series is Romeo and Juliet 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
5323 They'll be small. With hair on top. And tiny teeth. And they'll burn YOU up to keep warm! 1.0769 0.03543 78 73 4 1
5324 The Biden economy is fantastic. At least I still have salt. Feel like hunting? 1.0769 0.03543 78 73 4 1
5325 My turn for a spooky Homo Erectus story. 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
5326 And all the little humans were wearing uniforms and camping out in the woods. 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
5327 Want a camp story about me eating you? 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
5328 And that’s when… they start doing dishes! 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
5329 Stop! - You're scaring the humans out of me! 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
5330 On spying me the human thing threw back its head and threatened me with walls of horribly even fangs… 1.0769 0.03543 78 73 4 1
5331 Now THIS is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down… 1.0769 0.03988 65 61 3 1
5332 Someone's been sleeping in my bed and she's still there! 1.0769 0.03988 65 61 3 1
5333 I wish this was karaoke ! 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
5334 Julius, you are just so scarey with that. 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
5335 Ready for a boring story, Once upon a week, called Monday..... 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
5336 You better watch yourself at night around here 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
5337 Look, I know it would be better if we could put our cocks in it, cum, and then throw it in the dishwasher, but we're just dinosaurs. 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
5338 This is the tale of the road killer. 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
5339 Then…it made itself visible…it slowly approached…and uttered a centrist opinion…it was…an…old…white…MAN!!…”Kill it with fire!”, they screamed, but the vile beast just…kept…TALKING! 1.0769 0.03543 78 73 4 1
5340 Then I posted a BeReal that showed a cozy campfire with a picture of me shining a flashlight in my face saying ‘Rawr!’ 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
5341 It’s funnier when their arm is holding it 1.0759 0.03499 79 74 4 1
5342 A creature with a black nose came down from a tree. It was a koala bear. 1.0759 0.03499 79 74 4 1
5343 First the climate got a lot colder, and then the scary little Men came out with sharp pointy sticks. 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
5344 Wanna hear a scary story? 1.0759 0.03499 79 74 4 1
5345 Which George then came, please don't tell me Saint ..... 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
5346 this is even scarier than that one story... 1.0759 0.03499 79 74 4 1
5347 …and out of the dark bathroom there came… a naked man! 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
5348 Me(28m) and my wife (23f) 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
5349 …and then he remembered: he returned the CD case to the library without the disc! 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
5350 Someday we will be inaccurately portrayed in movies... ooh! 1.0759 0.03499 79 74 4 1
5351 Don’t do that. It’ll attract meteors and comets. 1.0759 0.03936 79 75 2 2
5352 Scaly campfire conversations with dinosaurs just never go extinct 1.0759 0.03499 79 74 4 1
5353 You are unbelievable! 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
5354 and he was a FURRY!" 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
5355 And then in the future they’ll dig up our bones, put them on display and speculate on how we lived! 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
5356 No,I don't think you look like Brad Pitt. 1.0758 0.03929 66 62 3 1
5357 Once upon a crime 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
5358 ...and then there was a total collapse in the price of gold. 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
5359 Why do you keep singing Goodnight Irene? I told you my name Alana. 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
5360 So then I screamed too, and this time, they ran all the way back to the Ranger’s station. 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
5361 There was a bloody hook hanging from the car window . . . 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
5362 Remember Uncle Dick doing this last year at his extinction party? 1.0758 0.03929 66 62 3 1
5363 And then a big meteor came and wiped us all out 1.0758 0.03929 66 62 3 1
5364 And then, the big meteor SMASHED into Pangea! 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
5365 ...and then, a meteor with a hook for a hand appeared in the sky!!! 1.0750 0.03887 80 76 2 2
5366 You're right -- it 'll really attract the guys. 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
5367 We should never discuss who discovered fire 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
5368 Where did you find the flashlight? 1.0750 0.03456 80 75 4 1
5369 Ooooh. That sounds like one big gorilla! 1.0750 0.03456 80 75 4 1
5370 ...the fossil fuel industry! 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
5371 Who up lighting up they dinosaur? 1.0750 0.03456 80 75 4 1
5372 ,,,and so,. . .,they denied global climate change" By Tom Sievers 1.0750 0.03887 80 76 2 2
5373 But this time, it stars Matthew Broderick! 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
5374 This must be the first day. Tomorrow He will seperate 'water from water.' 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
5375 If you keep appropriating human gadgets, you will be cancelled, Poindexter! 1.0750 0.03887 80 76 2 2
5376 Shaking. What is that? We're going to die out here. 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
5377 and the tapping sound was his tail gently hitting the roof of the car... 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
5378 You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why, Santa Claus is comin' to town! 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
5379 BOO!!!! Scared you didn't I? 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
5380 And then the little mammal said, 'Look just to the right of that star.' 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
5381 Oh just stop it, Beavis! 1.0746 0.03871 67 63 3 1
5382 ''And then they made me choose: Botox or extinction'' 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
5383 And the policeman on the phone said, "Get out of the house right now. The asteroid is headed right towards you." 1.0746 0.03871 67 63 3 1
5384 And then the girl scouts made s'mores. 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
5385 I thought the comet was bright but this flashlight is illuminating 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
5386 I don't get it. Is it supposed to be scary? 1.0746 0.03871 67 63 3 1
5387 Then, AOL crashed once it finally loaded! 1.0746 0.03871 67 63 3 1
5388 I’m telling you it was the indigestion got him. 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
5389 Does this lighting make me look better on Zoom? 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
5390 And then he was attacked by a giant moth! 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
5391 … then the meteor came down 1.0746 0.03871 67 63 3 1
5392 OK, enough scary dragon tales. Pass the marshmallows, and the fire-proof gloves. 1.0746 0.03871 67 63 3 1
5393 Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die. 1.0745 0.03114 94 88 5 1
5394 Standing in the mouth of the cave were …mammals! 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
5395 ...and scratching on her tent was... a human!! But not just any human. Jeffrey Dahmer!! 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
5396 I have an asshole the size of a mason jar. 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
5397 I was thinking of getting an I Phone! 1.0741 0.03415 81 76 4 1
5398 Did you know I used to play for the Yankees? 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
5399 I just can't believe the competition's rates are so high. 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
5400 They taste good. 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
5401 Look! I'm Forrest Gump. 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
5402 That was an awful horror story, there's no way a rock could wipe us all out. 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
5403 And in the moonlight he saw the creature was…A MAN! 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
5404 They mocked the forest T-Rex witch but when they woke up… Their arms were as thick as their legs!” 1.0741 0.03415 81 76 4 1
5405 Suddenly the human opened his terrible mouth and asked for a portion of our precious gold… 1.0737 0.02695 95 88 7 0
5406 One more time,” Puff the Magic Dragon…….” 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
5407 He then growled: The better to eat you with, my dead! 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
5408 Once the dust settles, we won't need this. 1.0735 0.04353 68 65 1 2
5409 Omigod, stop it! You look like a human! 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
5410 ...and then a human gripped my window fin and I bolted yanking his arm from its socket! 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
5411 And DRT was elected for a second term 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
5412 And then, after the bright yellow light, they saw a big plume in the sky! 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
5413 And the IRS agent whispered, “you can crush our city, but we’ll keep coming for your share of taxes to help rebuild on April fifteenth, fifteenth, fifteenth…” 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
5414 I Know. It creeps me out, too, but I say, "live fast, die young, leave a good-looking fossil!" 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
5415 You should have seen the look on their faces when I offered to pay cash for it. 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
5416 You look scarier when you’re hungry. 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
5417 Hey T-Rex, how do like my prehistoric selfie? 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
5418 My light item is a modern cool object. 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
5419 And then came the princess! 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
5420 How many light years ahead of her time is she? 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
5421 I'm telling ya, that's all Al was doing and he just burst Into flames! 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
5422 See? I just got flesh eating implants. 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
5423 And then, she demanded to speak with the manager! 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
5424 ...and then a big asteroid slammed into the land, and all the dinosaurs were wiped out 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
5425 And one day, we will all be in museums like a pile of dog bones! 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
5426 Fall a-frash on me. 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
5427 I say were dragons, and I say the hell with it. 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
5428 See I really am from England 1.0732 0.03374 82 77 4 1
5429 Dan you're tripping balls. 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
5430 And then… THE ASTEROID HIT!” 1.0725 0.03761 69 65 3 1
5431 It’s really great. Put something in there on a stick and you’ll see how much more flavorful it is. Go ahead! Try it! 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
5432 Ha-hah! I’m a runny-nosed Cub Scout! 1.0725 0.03761 69 65 3 1
5433 Traditional camp fire spooky tales. Scary ‘human’ tails 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
5434 Remember when humans claimed to discover fire? Now, it's batteries. 1.0725 0.03761 69 65 3 1
5435 Any neanderthal hair in my teeth? 1.0725 0.03761 69 65 3 1
5436 It’s the end of the world as we know it. But I feel fine” - Ella Daniels, Minneapolis, M 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
5437 …and then the object in the sky got bigger and bigger and the day turned to night… 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
5438 The hitchhiker was wearing an asbestos suit! 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
5439 After his escape, the Cropsey monster lurked in the dark woods hunting young children … 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
5440 The two thought Sasquatch was a myth, then there was one. 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
5441 Can we just sing John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt ? 1.0725 0.03761 69 65 3 1
5442 Look at this face! What’s wrong with us Louie? Godzilla, Jurassic Park,1 Million B.C! Wouldn’t you think by now they would have cast US in their stupid movies? Don’t the want the real thing? 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
5443 The mean stegosaurus had hooks in place of hands. 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
5444 ‘And just when they think they’ve escaped the experiments, Chris Pratt mercilessly hunts them down one by one’ 1.0725 0.03761 69 65 3 1
5445 Don't tell me again! You forgot to bring the extra stick of butter! 1.0723 0.03334 83 78 4 1
5446 And then this wandering star brings tidings of pain and misery. The End. 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
5447 And then an enormous meteor struck and wiped out all of the dinosaurs...mwa-ha-ha! Just kidding. 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
5448 Greeaatt!! 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
5449 But the abandoned cabin was filled with small MAMMALS, who patiently waited to supersede them evolutionarily!" 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
5450 The bloodied dragon pulled a mask from his head and revealed itself to be an aardvark standing on three other aardvarks inside the rest of the costume. They unzipped and piled out, each with a knife in their mouth. "Oh NO!" Grandma yelled. Burrrrrrp! 1.0723 0.03334 83 78 4 1
5451 AHABABAAAABAAHRRR (Dragon language) 1.0723 0.03334 83 78 4 1
5452 Your ghost stories are't that scarey 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
5453 Dinosaur: “I told you to use the time machine to get a FLESHLIGHT not a flashlight. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT JAMES, I’M SO GODDAMN HORNY! I WILL FUCK YOU RIGHT NOW I SWEAR TO GOD” 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
5454 ... and then the meteor hit the Earth and we were all extinct.” “Tom, what’s in your hand?” 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
5455 And future scientists will incorrectly say our vision is based on movement! 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
5456 It had big teeth, green scales, and a long pointed tail. 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
5457 … and then, after he gnawed all of the meat off the bones, he tossed them in a pile of rubbish, and the human went back to work. 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
5458 You like like T. Rex! 1.0714 0.03295 84 79 4 1
5459 And that's when my aunt jumped out from behind the door and ate the girl whole! 1.0714 0.02827 84 78 6 0
5460 I know you are de'lighted to see me. 1.0714 0.03709 70 66 3 1
5461 It was the ghost of an asteroid! 1.0714 0.02827 84 78 6 0
5462 It was a dark and stormy night. We were all seated around the campfire. 1.0714 0.03295 84 79 4 1
5463 And out from the depths came the most vile, hideous creature imaginable… the Karen! 1.0714 0.03709 70 66 3 1
5464 Aa if you're not scary enough to begin with! 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
5465 I hate scary campfire stories! 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
5466 Don't ya you wanna get lit? This is the only way, dude. 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
5467 I hate these scary stories right before we go to sleep. Steve Weiss, Chicago, Illinois 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
5468 Stop that! You look like a person. 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
5469 You've got something on your teeth! UGH GROSS dude! 1.0714 0.03709 70 66 3 1
5470 Too scary! No more stories about . . . man. 1.0714 0.02827 84 78 6 0
5471 There's no frog in your teeth, Donald. Get out there and smile! 1.0714 0.03295 84 79 4 1
5472 That's cute, but I'd rather have marshmallows on a stick than ghost stories. 1.0714 0.04230 70 67 1 2
5473 A man buys coconut at 5$ a dozen and sells them at 3$ dollars a dozen " as the result he becomes a millionaire. How come? He's sold the coconut to poor people he started out as a billionaire ,but lost all his money in his work that he became a bill 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
5474 I prefer a somewhat lower profile. 1.0714 0.03709 70 66 3 1
5475 He checked in the closet and under the bed—but they were gone! 1.0714 0.02827 84 78 6 0
5476 Do I have any hikers stuck between my teeth? 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
5477 .....night on the marge of Lake Lebarge I cremated Sam McGee. 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
5478 Stop it! You look like Greg Gutfeld! 1.0714 0.03709 70 66 3 1
5479 "Then humans came with their shrieking offspring, and they littered the forest floor with trash and smoldering cigarette butts." 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
5480 And THEN the Gorgon arose from behind the mountain ... 1.0706 0.02795 85 79 6 0
5481 Somehow my dentist still says I don't floss enough! 1.0706 0.03257 85 80 4 1
5482 Sonny, I'm home! 1.0706 0.02795 85 79 6 0
5483 This next story is even scarier than my face. 1.0706 0.02795 85 79 6 0
5484 Yes! Truly horrible --- two-legged, warm-blooded, and they eat things growing out of the ground. 1.0706 0.03662 85 81 2 2
5485 And then there was this asteroid…. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5486 Don't be a chicken. 1.0704 0.03657 71 67 3 1
5487 Lighting yourself is a poor substitute for lighting the campfire. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5488 Your right, that does make you look scary 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5489 You know human stories scare me! Now it will take a millennium for me to fall asleep. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5490 And then the Princess who wasn’t the Princess at all and was actually the Prince, slapped me and said I was late. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5491 No matter how hard you try, you don't look as scary as those humans. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5492 and then the humans just attacked me 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5493 You-you-you don't think there's REALLY a monster in the woods, do you? 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5494 Agh! Can you stop with the George Clooney impression already! 1.0704 0.04171 71 68 1 2
5495 This will make it easier to catch those delicious two legged creatures. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5496 And a massive asteroid appeared in the sky… 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5497 -"And all of us vanished! to one chicken!" 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5498 And then the human walked in and said there would no longer be AP classes about our history... 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5499 Rawr rawr rawr rawr? RAAAAAWR! 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5500 And all they could find was his head! 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5501 Norm, enough with the scary human tales by the campfire! 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5502 And then, the ghastly ogre, Meteor, raced toward them... 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
5503 I think we're taking this story time thing too serious. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
5504 And then a meteor streaked across the sky... 1.0700 0.02932 100 94 5 1
5505 Hey amigo could you check for something between my teeth? Think Im still flossing one of your pubes from the sloppy earlier, and my tongue cant seem to find it 1.0698 0.02763 86 80 6 0
5506 And there it was, on top of the bed! 1.0698 0.03220 86 81 4 1
5507 You don't really look like an asteroid 1.0698 0.02763 86 80 6 0
5508 And then the person said...... 1.0698 0.03220 86 81 4 1
5509 I'm looking for the switch to get this thing to heat up. 1.0698 0.03220 86 81 4 1
5510 Aren't we breaching the Blackout 1.0698 0.03220 86 81 4 1
5511 That was 13 years ago. They say he still wanders around these parts, claiming he'll one day finish 'The Winds of Winter.' 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
5512 Transfixed by his tormentor's soothing words and shining armor, Gerhard lost his fire, and gained a spear -- in his throat! 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
5513 He shouted, "I'm the little boy under the bed!" 1.0694 0.03607 72 68 3 1
5514 And just then, a streak of fire peeled across the sky! 1.0694 0.03607 72 68 3 1
5515 Have you heard the one about the meteor? 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
5516 This story begins with a meteorite falling toward the planet Earth. 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
5517 As the knight with the canister got closer and closer; the label was clear:Kidde! 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
5518 ...and then the kid screams, 'You're it!' 1.0694 0.03607 72 68 3 1
5519 ...oldtimers say that's why Puff was never heard from again. Rarrr. 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
5520 It was a dark and asteroid-stormy night. 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
5521 A high profile approach ? Why ? 1.0690 0.03184 87 82 4 1
5522 What? Don’t you think the Clear-Choice was worth the price? 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
5523 And that's when it clicked. Her father's smile was exactly like a photon in quantum superposition. 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
5524 And the asteroid is right here! 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
5525 I borrowed this from one of those Jurassic Park guys . . . then I ate him. 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
5526 Kids dance and sing songs with him… and he’s perfectly purple!! 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
5527 And then a big comet hit ... 1.0685 0.03559 73 69 3 1
5528 Welcome to the very first open mic in the annals of history…take my wife…you’re a terrific audience. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
5529 When we disappear, will this still be here? 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
5530 Eek! For a moment there I thought you were an oversized mammal. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
5531 And the voice said, 'Woooooo, I am a cataclysmic extinction event. And you are MINE!!!!' 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
5532 It all started one balmy afternoon on a beautiful beach… 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
5533 This is way cooler. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
5534 I'm carrying a torch for you! 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
5535 And I looked at myself and said, "Shit you're beautiful." Aimee Wing, Los Alamitos 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
5536 Then they moved to the suburbs to have two kids and start the whole cycle over again! 1.0685 0.03559 73 69 3 1
5537 So, this is what I look like without make-up on! 1.0685 0.03559 73 69 3 1
5538 Where’s the peanut butter? 1.0685 0.04059 73 70 1 2
5539 and his name… was GEORGE 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
5540 ...And then the meteor came over the horizon... 1.0682 0.03149 88 83 4 1
5541 Wow-you look so human! 1.0682 0.02702 88 82 6 0
5542 Your Asteroid Face scares me! 1.0682 0.02702 88 82 6 0
5543 Dude,check it out,this new light therapy is doing wonders for my waddle. 1.0678 0.04092 59 56 2 1
5544 And from out of nowhere these creatures, covered with fur, appeared…and their blood was WARM.! 1.0676 0.03512 74 70 3 1
5545 Wow! What is this thing and who made it??? Cynthia Eisler, Olney, MD. 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
5546 With this torch, my dragon tales will light up the night. 1.0676 0.03512 74 70 3 1
5547 Sure, it makes light but does it make flames and fire ? 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
5548 You’ve got a cavity in you tooth! 1.0676 0.03512 74 70 3 1
5549 And right before he died, he identified his killer, "Supply side economics." 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
5550 'Spose that's what the camper used that thing for, before we ate him? 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
5551 While driving on the turnpike through wind and rain, I looked in the rear view mirror. From the back seat a damsel in distress stared back at me. 1.0676 0.03512 74 70 3 1
5552 Guaranteed to light up your life. 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
5553 And then came hot blooded, little furry creatures. 1.0676 0.03512 74 70 3 1
5554 Nightmares on Vacation 1.0676 0.03512 74 70 3 1
5555 And the asteroid missed Earth by a mere million miles! 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
5556 You know I could see you without the light in your face, your eyes are starting to make me worried. 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
5557 As the light from the flashlight cut through the dark shadows, they saw it; the national debt. 1.0676 0.03512 74 70 3 1
5558 And then he chased them through the forest carrying… a fire extinguisher! 1.0674 0.03114 89 84 4 1
5559 And so ends the ghastly tale of the plump pink fuzzy bunny. 1.0667 0.03247 60 56 4 0
5560 One dark and scary night a meteor struck Earth and we all went extinct. 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
5561 Some say you can still find the fossilized remains of human grocery store cashiers to this day 1.0667 0.03247 60 56 4 0
5562 R-r-r-r, oog! Gizz-poom! 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
5563 Boo! We are now Vegan. 1.0667 0.03247 60 56 4 0
5564 I can’t believe you’re not scared. This worked great last summer. 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
5565 And this is what we used to do for fun in the old, old days. 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
5566 And at the back of the lair, lying on his huge pile of dragon-robbed loot, rested the knight ... 1.0667 0.03466 75 71 3 1
5567 I call it water. 1.0667 0.03466 75 71 3 1
5568 It’s cool, but how well does it cook? 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
5569 And then the Night King killed Daenery's dragon Viserion and turned him into a White Walker! 1.0667 0.03247 60 56 4 0
5570 And one day you will be displayed in a diorama at Disneyland. 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
5571 and then...I showed up! 1.0667 0.03466 75 71 3 1
5572 Whoa! If Ma saw us now? Mouth fulla hellfire! 1.0667 0.04024 60 57 2 1
5573 There's nothing scarier than this! 1.0667 0.03466 75 71 3 1
5574 And to think those pro-choice mammals claim we're unenlightened! 1.0667 0.04024 60 57 2 1
5575 And a giant comet crashes on the planet and everyone you know turns to ashes. 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
5576 -They're hunting me down for speaking the truth! -...I thought "they" were hunting you down for arson and triple homicide? 1.0659 0.03047 91 86 4 1
5577 And they commute in traffic to work in an office 8 hours a day,5 days a week,for 40 years. 1.0659 0.03424 91 87 2 2
5578 Godzilla is dead. 1.0659 0.02616 91 85 6 0
5579 This next scary campfire story is about how humans went extinct. 1.0659 0.03047 91 86 4 1
5580 And then, one night, a night much like this, you look at the satellite imagery and see mass deforestation. 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
5581 Isn’t this scarier than the threat of incineration? 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
5582 That's when the T-Rex glances down and notices...his shoe is untied! 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
5583 And then the little boy turned out his night light and it scared me really bad. 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
5584 Tom Cruise? No,umm Tom Cruise? No wait, um, Matthew McConaughey? No-no-wait, um, Dwayne Johnson? No-no-no—wait, now I’ve got it: Silvio Berlusconi! 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
5585 My kid invented something he calls venture capital. 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
5586 This'll scare you. Angels do not fear to tread. 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
5587 Karaoke nights are such fun! 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
5588 The evil prince carried off the baby dragons, one by one, to his gruesome castle. 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
5589 And the monsters were pink, wore red caps, and stopped people from voting. 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
5590 It was a bright and storm-free day... 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
5591 Actually, I hate scary stories. 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
5592 And he looked up and saw...a meteorite! 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
5593 And the human walk through the room, opened the door of the wardrobe where the little monster was hidden and screamed so hard, that the little monster knew that he will die and it will be painful... 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
5594 Then the forest faerie turned the teen dinos into salamanders saying, "Be afraid... Be very AFRAID!! 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
5595 You've come up with a dandy little invention, Bigjaw, but I was more impressed back when you figured out how to make fire. 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
5596 And then the asteroid hit the Earth! 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
5597 early money shots 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
5598 And than the Cropsey Monster… 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
5599 and then the dragon princess was abducted by a smelly-breath human! 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
5600 See, not so scary. 1.0656 0.03959 61 58 2 1
5601 But the brave and handsome knight never came, and the princess stayed wth the dragon for ever and ever, with her scatter cushions and scented candles and her lists of chores ... 1.0656 0.03196 61 57 4 0
5602 And they roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws. 1.0656 0.03959 61 58 2 1
5603 Mother likes me the best. That's why she sent me this eye "lumifer" Ain"t I pretty? 1.0656 0.03196 61 57 4 0
5604 and this is how trickle down economics will save us from the meteor 1.0656 0.03959 61 58 2 1
5605 It was a dark and stormy night, when out of the sky came a huge asteroid " 1.0652 0.02588 92 86 6 0
5606 The end! Might be for us too... 1.0652 0.02588 92 86 6 0
5607 But even Gozdzilla couldn't withstand the microplastics! 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
5608 And then, suddenly, out jumped the forest monster: An unbathed summer camper with marshmallow gooey fingers! 1.0649 0.03377 77 73 3 1
5609 Well, if flashlight doesn’t do it, those cavities just might. 1.0649 0.03377 77 73 3 1
5610 And right after the dino-zombies, this great big meteor comes hurling out of the sky … 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
5611 You see it right? Whitest my teeth have ever been. 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
5612 See I can be scary too 1.0649 0.03377 77 73 3 1
5613 ... And when the human breathed out, the huge cloud of smoke smelled of... candy floss" 1.0649 0.03377 77 73 3 1
5614 And the photo was… BLURRY! 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
5615 A little more to the left,I think. 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
5616 Magalightasoris ha ha ha haaa. 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
5617 And suddenly, one asteroid broke free from the Kuiper belt. 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
5618 And then what happened? [teeth chattering] 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
5619 Hey look, the people at the campsite next to us dropped this and ran away...you can see my face better...see? 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
5620 You ought to get your teeth cleaned 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
5621 Have no fear, this will chase away the polar bears. 1.0645 0.03145 62 58 4 0
5622 The couple got out of the parked car and then saw the long, deep scratch along the passenger side, and the metal hook hand that was dangling on door handle 1.0645 0.02561 93 87 6 0
5623 Do I look cuter in the light? 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
5624 I invented fire first and geometry second . This is a triangle. 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
5625 Then a comet came and wiped them all out! 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
5626 You STILL look like a monster! 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
5627 Just then Rexy looked up into the night sky and saw the huge meteor as it struck the earth, turning the night into day and destroying all the... 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
5628 They kept demanding out-of-pocket payments for emergency medical services?? 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
5629 Suddenly he turned around and there it was... A COMET! 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
5630 There's a poppy seed in your teeth. 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
5631 It's not as funny the second time! 1.0641 0.03335 78 74 3 1
5632 Yeah, I know, I read that article too. 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
5633 ...then, out of nowhere, a giant arrow shot from a ship kills the dragon 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
5634 And for decades we just used D-cell batteries and threw them in landfills. 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
5635 And then he told me I needed to put pants on if I wanted to come inside! 1.0638 0.02535 94 88 6 0
5636 Legend tells us, during that long battle, The Night King , and his Army of the Dead , were vanquished, including our ancestor, The Zombie Dragon: Vicerion 1.0635 0.03835 63 60 2 1
5637 And the wheels on the bus went round and round, round and round... 1.0635 0.03097 63 59 4 0
5638 And then......the fire went out! 1.0635 0.03097 63 59 4 0
5639 Tell me if you get too creeped out. 1.0635 0.03097 63 59 4 0
5640 In the Jungle? 1.0635 0.03835 63 60 2 1
5641 Guess we were strangers in the night. 1.0635 0.03097 63 59 4 0
5642 No human meat between your teeth, you flossed well. 1.0635 0.03097 63 59 4 0
5643 Oh Henry I just realized that I forgot to bring teeth guard. 1.0635 0.03835 63 60 2 1
5644 And the asteroid is due to return tonight! 1.0633 0.03293 79 75 3 1
5645 Lights, camera, action, it’s showtime. 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
5646 This magic light just kèeps going and going and going! 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
5647 My wife left me. 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
5648 Light but no heat. Another relic from the Fossil Fuel Age. 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
5649 ..and then they lived happily ever aaaafter! 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
5650 Are you ready to hear a pleasant story? 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
5651 Yeah, I think we’re scary enough without the flashlight. 1.0625 0.03253 80 76 3 1
5652 ...and a thick cloud of ash covered the whole planet. 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
5653 Aargh! Spinach in your teeth! 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
5654 And then the asteroid hit the ground and all these funny-looking, hairy things came out and ate all the little creatures. 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
5655 Then is was discovered we're a Japanese delicacy. 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
5656 Only thing that made it thru ... 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
5657 Have you every here the when you where camping. 1.0625 0.03776 64 61 2 1
5658 Then, the humans used a canister with oxygen bubbles to kill Godzilla, somehow. 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
5659 William, with all due respect, your campfire scary-story schtick is getting old. 1.0625 0.03776 64 61 2 1
5660 And just when he thought he was safe, a flaming rock the size of Chicago feel from the sky... 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
5661 On the next ones, I'll give my impressions of Brad Pitt. 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
5662 Goodnight. You're hot, the moon is not. 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
5663 And then a BIG rock fell from the sky and.... 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
5664 Woo, Woo! I'm St. George and I'm gonna git ya!! 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
5665 Trust me 1.0625 0.03253 80 76 3 1
5666 In the dim evening light, suddenly the child's terrifying stare appeared over the edge of the bed! 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
5667 They call them TERRORIUMS 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 1.0625 0.03776 64 61 2 1
5668 ...and then the comet-witch turned them all into an energy-dense black goo that wouldn't see the light of day for 66 million years! 1.0617 0.02691 81 76 5 0
5669 Frankly, I find it scarier with the light off. 1.0617 0.02691 81 76 5 0
5670 ...and then the big bad meteor came CRASHING DOWN! 1.0617 0.02691 81 76 5 0
5671 This always brings back memories of our first camping trip with Mom and Dad in the Middle Triassic Epoch, and when we had to move in the Cretaceous Period. 1.0617 0.02691 81 76 5 0
5672 Why would you weave Marsha into the story. 1.0617 0.02691 81 76 5 0
5673 Then out jumped the armored knight, the feared Chipper of Teeth.” 1.0617 0.03213 81 77 3 1
5674 The monster had no scales and no hair, it was completely bald! 1.0617 0.02691 81 76 5 0
5675 Her head fell off? What happened next? 1.0617 0.03213 81 77 3 1
5676 …so I put a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray’s on the shelf to trick them. 1.0617 0.02691 81 76 5 0
5677 Ha! Got ya. 1.0617 0.02691 81 76 5 0
5678 Moonlight … firelight? Put down that flashlight and quit showing off! 1.0615 0.03004 65 61 4 0
5679 Then the little boy ran around in his dragon pajamas roaring and making us look RIDICULOUS.” 1.0615 0.03004 65 61 4 0
5680 Can't quite see the gold tooth, try moving the flashlight around. 1.0615 0.03719 65 62 2 1
5681 The meteor came from...INSIDE THE HOUSE!!! 1.0615 0.03004 65 61 4 0
5682 Did you ever hear the one about the redheaded kid whose marshmallow stick fell in the fire 1.0615 0.03004 65 61 4 0
5683 '...and then, Brad uttered the scariest words ever: "Good! Since you guys are both free Friday evening, you can totally come to my one man play! Believe me, you've never seen a coming of age story like this one..."' 1.0615 0.03004 65 61 4 0
5684 And then they dug up the graveyard and took all the bones! 1.0610 0.02659 82 77 5 0
5685 and then I smiled. 1.0610 0.02659 82 77 5 0
5686 Delighted 1.0610 0.02659 82 77 5 0
5687 And then…out of nowhere…a giant asteroid starting falling from the sky! 1.0606 0.03663 66 63 2 1
5688 He realized the meteor was calling him from inside the house. 1.0606 0.02960 66 62 4 0
5689 And then the wicked asteroid . . . 1.0606 0.02960 66 62 4 0
5690 I can use this to read the newspaper at night 1.0606 0.02960 66 62 4 0
5691 Then puppies and kittens crept into their sleeping bags to cuddle. 1.0606 0.02960 66 62 4 0
5692 Tell the scary story about St. George again" 1.0606 0.03663 66 63 2 1
5693 But there was no room under the bed! 1.0606 0.02960 66 62 4 0
5694 ...and it turned out the Knight had a LANCE for a HAND! 1.0606 0.03663 66 63 2 1
5695 Look closer, did I get all of the humans out of my teeth? 1.0602 0.03137 83 79 3 1
5696 It give light like fire but you can take it with you everywhere you go. 1.0602 0.02628 83 78 5 0
5697 'Please...' he begged the knight, 'I have a dragon wife and dragon children.' 1.0602 0.03137 83 79 3 1
5698 And the cool thing is, you don't need a fire to eat it when it's dark! 1.0602 0.02628 83 78 5 0
5699 Get with it guy. This is a new era. Firelight doesn't cut it any more! 1.0602 0.02628 83 78 5 0
5700 And then he said " sleep soundly!" 1.0602 0.02628 83 78 5 0
5701 And then a ball of fire strikes your town and its totally gone! 1.0602 0.02628 83 78 5 0
5702 Be afraid, Be very afraid. 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
5703 And they have smooth skin and soft hair and they like to cuddle. 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
5704 Are all the frog legs out of my teeth? 1.0597 0.03609 67 64 2 1
5705 I slammed the door shut, realizing only too late that my tail was still inside 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
5706 and I said '. look, you see: nothing sinister' 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
5707 Yes, that you can hold fire in your hand is very scary 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
5708 And then the humans take over the whole place! 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
5709 Wow honey, I think you finally nailed lip-synching the song “light my fire “ in the right environment. “! 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
5710 And then he discovered he was only a special effect. 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
5711 Anachronisms ruin the dinosaur finale of "Love is Blind." 1.0588 0.03557 68 65 2 1
5712 Don't worry; batteries almost gone... 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
5713 That's when he heard the voice saying, 'the call is coming from inside the cave'. 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
5714 Suddenly they heard the doom-laden shriek of a meteor the size of Mount Everest entering the solar system ... getting closer ... and closer ... and ... BANG! 1.0588 0.02567 85 80 5 0
5715 ...and then, twelve of them, one by one, pop out of a tiny, odd-shaped metal box on wheels! 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
5716 One upon a time an asteroid hit Earth. 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
5717 ...and the comet got colose and closer... 1.0588 0.02567 85 80 5 0
5718 No, Phil, no bats in the cave. 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
5719 Not that comet story again. 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
5720 And then a meteor comes and destroys them all. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5721 And soon the humans ate each other alive 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
5722 And just when you thought no one could lie as much as him, along comes the newly elected congressman from Long Island!!! 1.0588 0.03557 68 65 2 1
5723 does this flashlight make my scales look bigger? 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
5724 and then the human yelled "Boo!" 1.0581 0.03030 86 82 3 1
5725 Fee fi fo fum I smell the cold blood of a dragon Come! 1.0581 0.03030 86 82 3 1
5726 Don't worry. It looks more like anti-aircraft fire than acne. 1.0581 0.03030 86 82 3 1
5727 Dad, seriously! Do you think we're going to have to replace our incandescent breath with LEDs? 1.0581 0.03030 86 82 3 1
5728 Then we saw a ball of fire in the sky then silence…. 1.0581 0.02538 86 81 5 0
5729 …and all they could see was meteor dust filling the sky. Muahahahahaha! 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
5730 That trick just slays me every time. 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
5731 ....aaand it was the poodle from the last joke. Work with me. 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
5732 ...and there comes a knight in shining armor... 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
5733 For-ev-er? 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
5734 ...and on the sixth day, God created man! 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
5735 And then the kid with the freckles jumped out from behind the tree and scared me. 1.0580 0.03506 69 66 2 1
5736 I don’t get it. Does this scare you? Didn’t me either, but it was tasty. 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
5737 And then there was an asteroid that hit earth! 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
5738 Take a good good look at my face ... da da, da, da, da, da, da, da! 1.0575 0.02995 87 83 3 1
5739 ... and they didn't find the body for 65 million years, at which point it was refined andused to fuel a Jet Ski. 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
5740 It was a night like tonight when these two campers looked up to see a giant asteroid coming straight for them! 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
5741 Look! This makes me look just like an asteroid! 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
5742 Whaddya say we roast some chestnuts? 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
5743 Sure it’s scary, but we already ate the last Boy Scout. 1.0571 0.03457 70 67 2 1
5744 As we continue to evolve, we'll invent some more. 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
5745 It was pale and soft, and screeched, "Eeek, a dinoraur!" It was terrifying! 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
5746 And then … there was a really bright in the sky 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
5747 Argh, I want Kampfire Karaoke! 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
5748 And then, a big, white balloon floated by… 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
5749 Care for a game of peek-a-boo? 1.0571 0.03457 70 67 2 1
5750 And then Big Tech created AI bots that would soon rebel 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
5751 ... it was Susan but instead of scales she had feathers growing all over her body! 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
5752 And then, humans. 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
5753 I miss summer camp. 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
5754 And then, the giant ape started walking up the stairs. 1.0563 0.03409 71 68 2 1
5755 Sorry,but you look better in the dark and from a distance! 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
5756 And this is my Greta Garbo. 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
5757 That guy you ate - his sock is stuck in your teeth. 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
5758 Someone will think they've seen a tree with a toothy smile. 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
5759 And then the human child laughed, donned her fire proof armor, and raised the slaying sword high” 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
5760 and then the asteroid hit the ocean, leaving only small rodents! 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
5761 A four letter word expressing that I could not find it 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
5762 And then the humans turned the TV channel to "The Kardashians!" 1.0563 0.03409 71 68 2 1
5763 Look, I'm a monster. 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
5764 And then BANG, a horrific fireball burst through the sky! 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
5765 A huge asteroid hurtled towards the campers; they were petrified! 1.0563 0.03409 71 68 2 1
5766 If you’re trying to scare people, keep in mind that fire also makes light.” 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
5767 And right there, in the very bed you are hiding under, there is... a child! 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
5768 This story will scare you to death, this next one is about....HUMANS!!!! 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
5769 And then they made us all do PUSH-UPS 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
5770 Now that we have discovered fire, which is warm and comfortable, we no longer need this lantern. 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
5771 No no, no one sees you coming when they're holding the light JUST like this! 1.0563 0.03409 71 68 2 1
5772 …then the mammals multiplied, organized, and grew dinosaur kale. 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5773 I’ll be here all week. Don’t burn your waitress. 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5774 good luck, we can buy or lease 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5775 …and then the meteor hits Chicksoolub, uh Chiksulob, mmm Chicxulub? Oh hell, l always screw this story up! 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5776 And then the fire extinguisher started moving slowly towards him and the poor soul knew that his time was ticking. 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5777 See what my new in plants look like. He did a great job and let me pay it in installments of cave paintings! 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5778 This is the most human-like face I can make. 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5779 What' a menthol lozenge, he asked... 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5780 She looks in the rear-view mirror, just as a velociraptor appears in the back seat brandishing an Oldowan hammerstone!!! 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5781 Scarey? What will you think of next?. 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5782 Then they burned the black liquified dinosaurs, polluting the air and wrecking the planet! 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5783 Then he peeked up over the edge of the bed.... 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5784 Yes, you look less scary that way. 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5785 For my night job! 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5786 She had it all worked out with the villagers, and then this guy Saint George shows up and didn't agree... 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5787 Then the plumber gobbled a mushroom and grew twice in size! 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5788 …and then one dark and stormy night a giant ball of fire shot out of the sky, crashed onto the earth and killed all the two-loggers. Now brush your fangs and go to sleep. It’s just a fairy tale. 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
5789 …and the big light in the sky got brighter and brighter…there was a huge explosion…and only the tiny animals survived. 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5790 You can just your face up to the fire. 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5791 Then Puff said to Jackie Paper, "Look, it's me. I was only kidding about being a zombie who eats strings, sealing wax, and brains." 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5792 ...and then an enormous asteroid hit the earth and killed all the dinosaurs! 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5793 …and then she turned them into a Milli Vanilli vinyl 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5794 Firehoses! Am I right? 1.0556 0.03362 72 69 2 1
5795 Ok ! Ok ! call me a dinosaur I’m sticking to the old ways, I’ll stick with fire ! What did you say that was called ! A fire stick ? 1.0549 0.02402 91 86 5 0
5796 PUTTING THE FLASH LIGHT UNDER YOUR CHIN MAKES YOUR TEETH LOOK WHITIER 1.0549 0.02402 91 86 5 0
5797 How can they call me a dinosaur after discovering fire and electricity. 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
5798 And the asteroid said, ‘I’m coming to get you.’ 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
5799 And then these tiny two-legged creatures took over the world and ruined it for everyone! 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
5800 What do you think of my new dentures? 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
5801 Where did you get the batteries? 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
5802 2 slimy creatures sitting by the campfire telling scary story59818..70c4fceb-4969-409e-bbc0-2558c81aa61b....0 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
5803 ...And then the terrifying beast came out of the trees- a human!! With skinny legs, hair only on his shrunken head, and the most ear-piercing voice, he screamed and ran away. 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
5804 See! I'm twice as scary with the flashlight! 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
5805 Can you imagine? 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
5806 Cold LED lighting is a monstrosity 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
5807 And so the little hatchling went to visit his friend Max where the mild things are, but they killed them and ate him for dinner because that is there nature. 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
5808 … and then he pulled the covers up to go to sleep, not realising that it was … a fire blanket! 1.0548 0.03316 73 70 2 1
5809 fun stories with friends! 1.0548 0.03316 73 70 2 1
5810 I get scared in the woods. Don't you? 1.0545 0.03090 55 52 3 0
5811 And then the rainbow light up the land! 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
5812 If you’re trying to calm me down, it’s not working. 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
5813 The sound was coming closer and closer, transmuting from a low growl in the distance into a quiet yet terrifying phrase, repeating incessantly in a soft cadence of the damned: 'Hi, my name is Bob. Hi, my name is Bob. Hi, my name is Bob.' 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
5814 It was a dark dark night 1.0541 0.03272 74 71 2 1
5815 It's not as if you're the first Allosaurus with dentures. Can we talk about something else? 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
5816 Oh Grandmother, what Big Teeth you have ! 1.0541 0.03272 74 71 2 1
5817 And then they held so still, a day's worth of food, vanished! 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
5818 That's when he notices something dangling from the door handle -- a bloody Velociraptor claw. 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
5819 Glad to see you’ve given up blue light at bedtime. 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
5820 Wait, the ghost has feathers? 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
5821 Do it again, Daddy. 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
5822 Tonight, we're going to have a really big show. 1.0538 0.02805 93 89 3 1
5823 Brinch seq Zchleb! Zchleb! Zchleb! Vernka Neanderthal! Ayych! Mort. 1.0533 0.02612 75 71 4 0
5824 And she carelessly whispered to me, in such TOTALLY sultry fashion... *toggles ON flashlight* "Barney is a dinosaur..." and broke her spine. 1.0533 0.02612 75 71 4 0
5825 Then the planet killing asteroid got closer and closer and.... 1.0533 0.02612 75 71 4 0
5826 Sixty-six million years ago, a rather large asteroid hurtled toward Earth... 1.0533 0.02612 75 71 4 0
5827 And then she had FoMO. 1.0533 0.02612 75 71 4 0
5828 And that's when they saw the Thagomizer hanging from their car door window! 1.0533 0.02612 75 71 4 0
5829 And then T-Rex leaned over little Red Riding Hood and said "The better to eat you with!" 1.0533 0.02612 75 71 4 0
5830 And he became…. …extinct! 1.0526 0.02578 76 72 4 0
5831 There he was hungering for blood, "oil can, oil can" the TinMan said. 1.0526 0.03128 95 92 1 2
5832 That LED flashlight makes you look scarier than ever. 1.0526 0.02578 76 72 4 0
5833 How about some more beans, Mr. Taggart? 1.0526 0.02578 76 72 4 0
5834 How’s this face for when I show up to eat the villagers tomorrow? 1.0526 0.02984 57 54 3 0
5835 Now, a story from our ancestors during a time when some of their offspring were stripped and sold to the highest bidder. And eaten,by monsters! It all started with Old McDonald… 1.0526 0.02578 76 72 4 0
5836 Bob’s friends warned him, but curiosity got the better of him…and just like that, he disappeared into the black sticky goo, never to be seen of again. mynewyorkercaption 1.0526 0.03187 76 73 2 1
5837 … then he made cut up all the little eggs and made them into a salad. 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
5838 Yea, it's more convenient, but you can't make s'mores with it. 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
5839 When I do this people think I’m a ghost. It’s hilarious! 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
5840 In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit... 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
5841 And then the princess captured the dragon, dressed him in froufrou clothes and made him play tea party. 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
5842 But, I thought you were vegan! 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
5843 And there it was: an egg-eating mammal. 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
5844 And the only thing they saw was… the asteroid! 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
5845 Flashlight dinosaur: "...and then the asteroid hit, killing everything!" Other dinosaur: "Oh no! I hope that never happens!" 1.0517 0.02933 58 55 3 0
5846 and then came St George, on his horse, waving a shining sword. And that was the end of Uncle Draco" 1.0517 0.02933 58 55 3 0
5847 I suddenly looked up and there before me was…a BOY SCOUT!! 1.0517 0.02933 58 55 3 0
5848 He put a spell on it, so that three separate beasts could each have three wishes.... from the Dragon's Claw! 1.0513 0.02514 78 74 4 0
5849 BOOM! The meteor killed them all! 1.0513 0.02514 78 74 4 0
5850 Now, THIS is scary. 1.0513 0.02514 78 74 4 0
5851 I look like that little kid Tommy, don't I? 1.0513 0.02514 78 74 4 0
5852 . . . and then the really scary homo sapien precursor rushed the campfire, brandishing a crude weapon. 1.0508 0.02885 59 56 3 0
5853 And then the scary voice said: 'I am a catastrophic asteroid impact and I'm going to get you!' 1.0506 0.02482 79 75 4 0
5854 And then, That one time….at band camp… I…. 1.0506 0.03067 79 76 2 1
5855 When suddenly, out sprang St. George! 1.0506 0.02482 79 75 4 0
5856 What could go wrong? 1.0500 0.02452 80 76 4 0
5857 ...and the human crept into the dragon's lair with it's beady eyes... 1.0500 0.02452 80 76 4 0
5858 And then the human voice whispered, “I am the Viper and I’m just behind the tree.” 1.0500 0.02452 80 76 4 0
5859 ... And then they optioned a third Jurassic Park! 1.0500 0.02452 80 76 4 0
5860 are you sure you want to talk about draagens and dinosores they are very creepy 1.0500 0.03029 80 77 2 1
5861 Didn't mean to scare ya! 1.0500 0.02837 60 57 3 0
5862 And the escape hatch was juuuuust out of reach 1.0494 0.02422 81 77 4 0
5863 And then the one armed knight pulled out his bloody sword... 1.0494 0.02422 81 77 4 0
5864 Extinctual 1.0492 0.02792 61 58 3 0
5865 OK, Larry one more but this is it! Frankenstein? 1.0492 0.02792 61 58 3 0
5866 Nah…Smaug is Sherlock, you’re pulling my tail George 1.0492 0.02792 61 58 3 0
5867 . . . and then, from the sky, fell a mighty meteor! 1.0488 0.02393 82 78 4 0
5868 And that's when the party goers noticed the giant flaming ball in the sky headed toward earth! 1.0488 0.02393 82 78 4 0
5869 Stop already with your stupid camop counselor tricks!" 1.0488 0.02393 82 78 4 0
5870 First we will be obliterated by an astoroid's effect on the atmosphere, then we will turn into oil and be burned for warmth by scrawny bipedal mammals, destroying the atmosphere all over again and obliterating themselves! 1.0488 0.02393 82 78 4 0
5871 And then the city attacked. . . meeeeee! 1.0484 0.02747 62 59 3 0
5872 I also find it hard to always brush after every meal. 1.0484 0.02747 62 59 3 0
5873 Come on, thats not how a Zombie looks like 1.0484 0.02747 62 59 3 0
5874 Now I'll tell you of the legendary & most horrifying tale of 'The Dragon That Was Allergic to Gold -Sir Eli Goldsundheit.' 1.0484 0.03583 62 60 1 1
5875 Quit fooling around. Now I won’t sleep a wink. 1.0484 0.02747 62 59 3 0
5876 Can you shine a light on the Tar Pits? 1.0484 0.02747 62 59 3 0
5877 ...and the world is controlled by a small group of mammalian people who feast on lizard flesh! 1.0482 0.02365 83 79 4 0
5878 ...and then the fair maiden's shiny blonde hair fell off her head to reveal a shiny steel helmet. 1.0482 0.02365 83 79 4 0
5879 Good one! I remember your dad doing that to the villagers... about a thousand years ago. 1.0476 0.02705 63 60 3 0
5880 And the foundation was steel beams! 1.0476 0.02705 63 60 3 0
5881 Then this bright astroid comes out of the sky and kills all of us. 1.0476 0.02338 84 80 4 0
5882 And then the monster appeared with his dinner’s flashlight on his face! 1.0476 0.02705 63 60 3 0
5883 Does it play games? Can you talk through it? we’ll be wiped out by an asteroid before these creatures make an impact! 1.0476 0.02705 63 60 3 0
5884 ...and all the warm rocks were suddenly gone! 1.0469 0.02663 64 61 3 0
5885 To think I always thought you were the only one to light up my life. 1.0469 0.02663 64 61 3 0
5886 And then the comet hit and all the dinosaurs died. Well, except the crocodiles, and some birds. I don't know why they lived, but they did. Boom! 1.0469 0.03472 64 62 1 1
5887 Wow, scarey. Now how about using that little torchy thing to go find us some food for this flame pile I built? 1.0469 0.02663 64 61 3 0
5888 Do you realize how stupid that makes you look? 1.0469 0.02663 64 61 3 0
5889 First one r Then two the three asteroids missed us, but there was a fourth out there, coming….. 1.0469 0.02663 64 61 3 0
5890 ...and that's when Mother Ghost realised that the whole time, the family had all been...ALIVE!! 1.0469 0.02663 64 61 3 0
5891 ...and then they dunked him in the lake! 1.0469 0.02663 64 61 3 0
5892 Don't shine that straight up at night... You'll anger the meteor gods. 1.0469 0.02663 64 61 3 0
5893 In the year 3000! With apologies to Conan 1.0462 0.02623 65 62 3 0
5894 Anything you can do, I can do better. 1.0462 0.02623 65 62 3 0
5895 Seriously, it's so hard to keep up with the times. Am I getting Ozempic face? 1.0462 0.02623 65 62 3 0
5896 And then... an asteroid came! 1.0455 0.02584 66 63 3 0
5897 ...and then there was this huge asteroid that came so close to that we were all shaking for days... 1.0455 0.02584 66 63 3 0
5898 so ya doing all this crazy stuff in Floridah to campaign for President,desi? 1.0455 0.02584 66 63 3 0
5899 Cut it out. You know my stomach gets queasy after a big meal. 1.0455 0.02584 66 63 3 0
5900 …and then a big rock came hurtling from the sky. 1.0455 0.02584 66 63 3 0
5901 ...and then 8 BILLION Homo insipiens rushed the portal! 1.0448 0.02546 67 64 3 0
5902 And the flashlight does not pollute the environment like fire. 1.0448 0.02546 67 64 3 0
5903 And there walked a halfling with enormous, terrifyingly sad eyes … 1.0448 0.02546 67 64 3 0
5904 You just don’t have a scary face. 1.0448 0.02546 67 64 3 0
5905 And then the great asteroid monster came out and turned into humanoids who frightened Terry and Tory away. Aaahhh. 1.0448 0.02546 67 64 3 0
5906 and it will be called A METEOR!" 1.0448 0.02546 67 64 3 0
5907 And…He was Tyler Durden all along! 1.0448 0.02546 67 64 3 0
5908 How's my mascara look, honey? 1.0448 0.03317 67 65 1 1
5909 Yes, I know. My new flashlight makes me look scary. 1.0441 0.02509 68 65 3 0
5910 I'm trying not to be overlooked any more.! 1.0441 0.02509 68 65 3 0
5911 ...and only yesterday, the very same knight escaped from the Medieval Times, just up the road from this campsite. 1.0441 0.03269 68 66 1 1
5912 'One gray night it happened...' 1.0441 0.02509 68 65 3 0
5913 the warmer, the scarier as my mum used to say until she burnt to death. 1.0441 0.03269 68 66 1 1
5914 You’re woke and lit! 1.0441 0.02509 68 65 3 0
5915 I saw him once. He was ten feet tall if he was a foot and they called him Dad. 1.0441 0.02509 68 65 3 0
5916 If you’re lucky they won’t find us this time. 1.0441 0.02509 68 65 3 0
5917 Look at me Rex, this isn't even my final form! 1.0441 0.03269 68 66 1 1
5918 But the meteor DID come...and then there were NONE! AHAHAHAHAHA!! 1.0435 0.02473 69 66 3 0
5919 And the human was coming closer and closer and closer. 1.0435 0.02473 69 66 3 0
5920 There were dragons everywhere!! 1.0435 0.03222 69 67 1 1
5921 Stop acting like a human camper! 1.0435 0.03222 69 67 1 1
5922 I didn’t want to do this, but if I don’t say something, no one will. Carl, you’re being a real fart booby. 1.0435 0.02473 69 66 3 0
5923 And after he swallowed him whole, he realized to his horror, that he had a hook stuck in his throat! 1.0435 0.02473 69 66 3 0
5924 Very thoughtful of them to warm their faces like this. Do I have any human in my teeth? 1.0435 0.02473 69 66 3 0
5925 Boo! (this is from our 6yr old grandson - a great Dino-enthusiast) 1.0435 0.02473 69 66 3 0
5926 I mean they said it was called semaglutide. I didn’t even realize. Be honest, can you tell? 1.0435 0.02473 69 66 3 0
5927 And they even oil everything through you! 1.0430 0.02115 93 89 4 0
5928 And unlike fire, it doesn't make humans char. 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
5929 Then the evil "Harry" inflicted horrible pain on him with a twig! 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
5930 ... and then The Citicorp will give them "rewards" for burning the only thing that remains of you! Your bodily fluids 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
5931 And then Mamasaurus said: "brush your teeth!" 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
5932 So much easier to light up your chin! 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
5933 And all that was left were hot dogs and marshmallows. 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
5934 Wait till you try this.. 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
5935 Now, isn't that scarier than your nightmares about asteroids? 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
5936 Did you remember the marshmallows I brought the chocolate & graham crackers? 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
5937 And he became known as... the Dragon-Killer. 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
5938 I found the guy that discovered fire, at him, and took his fire. 1.0423 0.02404 71 68 3 0
5939 Strangers in the night . . . 1.0423 0.02404 71 68 3 0
5940 And... remember the old days at summer camp when we used to sit around the volcanic fire pit and sing "Puff the Magic Dragon? 1.0423 0.02404 71 68 3 0
5941 Sorry Dino but I think that forehead could use a little more Botox. 1.0423 0.02404 71 68 3 0
5942 Do you really think this coniferous forest is the best spot for a fire? 1.0423 0.02404 71 68 3 0
5943 And then a giant gorilla started terrorizing the town... 1.0423 0.02404 71 68 3 0
5944 . . . and then they breaded us, fried us, and served us to human children for dinner! 1.0423 0.02404 71 68 3 0
5945 Just wait until you see this moon; it’s always full! 1.0423 0.02404 71 68 3 0
5946 Someday we will cause wzrs!!!!!! 1.0417 0.02372 72 69 3 0
5947 My name is Jerome Powell and I'm going to raise the Fed rate by 75 basis points at our next meeting 1.0417 0.03088 72 70 1 1
5948 IT'S THE NEW APHRODISIAC 1.0417 0.02372 72 69 3 0
5949 Now the planet will be ours! 1.0417 0.02372 72 69 3 0
5950 Do I still have clueless camper stuck between my teeth. 1.0417 0.02372 72 69 3 0
5951 ....and then came 'Droopy from Guadeloope' 1.0411 0.02339 73 70 3 0
5952 They hoard box tops and candles instead of gold and jewels 1.0411 0.02339 73 70 3 0
5953 And then Little Jackie Paper grew up. 1.0411 0.02339 73 70 3 0
5954 Let me tell you about the anachronisms that destroyed our civilization. 1.0411 0.02339 73 70 3 0
5955 It's called "The Tale of the Vanishing Velociraptor." 1.0411 0.02339 73 70 3 0
5956 And then they have to file something called a tax return! 1.0411 0.02339 73 70 3 0
5957 GASS PRICES!!! 1.0411 0.02339 73 70 3 0
5958 Ha-Ha. But you’re not nearly as cute as when you were a charming little lizard. 1.0411 0.02339 73 70 3 0
5959 Karma Repair Kit 1.0411 0.02339 73 70 3 0
5960 I got that it gives light but it doesn't give heat and please turn it off, your looks scare me. 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
5961 So you beat Kong and Godzilla simultaneously while earning Order of the Arrow? Yeah, I call b.s. No way did you get OA. 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
5962 The meteor was inside the car. 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
5963 And then a big asteroid hit the earth. 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
5964 Tell me I'm pretty. 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
5965 I said I wanted beans not beans. 1.0400 0.02278 75 72 3 0
5966 Once upon a time there was an evil, vile, scaly, giant, human-eating, fish! 1.0400 0.02278 75 72 3 0
5967 Look ! !......Jane Fonda laughing at the GI deaths caused by her friends the VC in the Vietnam war...... 1.0395 0.02248 76 73 3 0
5968 ...nuclear winter! 1.0395 0.02248 76 73 3 0
5969 How did they know I'm afraid of the dark? 1.0395 0.02248 76 73 3 0
5970 Mani, pedi, AND mine cleaned my teeth. 1.0395 0.02248 76 73 3 0
5971 And then there was this large rock that fell from the sky. 1.0390 0.02220 77 74 3 0
5972 Typical you...draggin' out the story yet again! 1.0390 0.02220 77 74 3 0
5973 Does this make me look like Rob Zombie? 1.0390 0.02220 77 74 3 0
5974 I’m going to tell you a story about the ghosts of humans passed. 1.0385 0.02192 78 75 3 0
5975 Look at us. Not anyone is coming between us. 1.0385 0.02192 78 75 3 0
5976 Twinasaurus 1.0380 0.02164 79 76 3 0
5977 She may carry a torch to be portrayed with the crescent moon lying above her forehead. But as far as I’m concerned it’s purely moonshine. 1.0380 0.02816 79 77 1 1
5978 Stop it, Ed. I feel badly enough we ate those nice campers. 1.0380 0.02164 79 76 3 0
5979 Dragons can Spit Fire and fly 1.0380 0.02164 79 76 3 0
5980 And then the meteor came streaking down through the night sky!” 1.0370 0.02747 81 79 1 1
5981 Scared? 1.0353 0.02013 85 82 3 0
5982 I don't see anything in your teeth, but you do have some hair coming out of your nose. 1.0351 0.02459 57 55 2 0
5983 ... And then they didn't bring any marshmallows... 1.0345 0.02417 58 56 2 0
5984 ...a HUGE meteor! 1.0339 0.02376 59 57 2 0
5985 Suddenly, a BLAZING LIGHT flashed across the sky! 1.0333 0.03333 60 59 0 1
5986 Now I KNOW you’ve been eating too many!! 1.0328 0.02299 61 59 2 0
5987 Then the human began attacking the monster! 1.0328 0.02299 61 59 2 0
5988 Grrr! 1.0328 0.02299 61 59 2 0
5989 The fire is Google Search. The torch is ChatGPT. Will Bard be the lamp? 1.0323 0.02262 62 60 2 0
5990 And that's when he found out ... HBO was removing all Game of Thrones–related shows from their streaming platform. 1.0323 0.02262 62 60 2 0
5991 THEN ARMED MEN SURROUNED THEM 1.0317 0.02227 63 61 2 0
5992 you could see the future of the word with that thing 1.0317 0.02227 63 61 2 0
5993 this light is so cool and its no even hot because it has not been invented yet! 1.0317 0.02227 63 61 2 0
5994 Tell me the part again when you turn into Patrick Swayze.” 1.0312 0.02192 64 62 2 0
5995 And now you'll have to wait for George RR Martin to write the final books to find out what happens at the end 1.0312 0.02192 64 62 2 0
5996 Pretty spooky, huh? I did it to King Kong once, and he knuckle-walked all the way back to Skull Island! 1.0308 0.02159 65 63 2 0
5997 Fine! sit there with your quiet rage Bill! this item is merely a symptom of your despondency. 1.0308 0.02159 65 63 2 0
5998 And then they said to the dragon, "Would you like some spicy salsa on your taco?" 1.0308 0.02159 65 63 2 0
5999 There’re humans behind the rocks.” 1.0308 0.02159 65 63 2 0
6000 And the Cheato Face Monster lost the Liar’s Contest to Gorgeous George. 1.0303 0.02126 66 64 2 0
6001 D batteries. Scary, huh? 1.0303 0.02126 66 64 2 0
6002 Stop scaring me with those human stories. 1.0303 0.02126 66 64 2 0
6003 And then the meteor struck the Yucatan peninsula! 1.0299 0.02095 67 65 2 0
6004 The only thing more terrifying than the crunch of the bones was the memory of my doctor saying “watch what you eat!” 1.0299 0.02095 67 65 2 0
6005 …and then a giant meteor hit the earth and destroyed all life on earth. 1.0299 0.02095 67 65 2 0
6006 You think that’s scary, I’m freaking out over that giant meteor that I see behind you coming our way. 1.0294 0.02064 68 66 2 0
6007 ... but they all lived. Happily. Ever. After. 1.0294 0.02064 68 66 2 0
6008 God Zilla, turn off the light, you're scaring me. NOT!! 1.0294 0.02064 68 66 2 0
6009 Then, the archeologist dug up his bones - AND PUT THEM IN A MUSEUM! 1.0290 0.02034 69 67 2 0
6010 And then they come and try to slay us with their swords. Now go to sleep. 1.0290 0.02034 69 67 2 0
6011 And with a bang… they were gone. 1.0290 0.02034 69 67 2 0
6012 Stop it Tommy, you're frightening me. 1.0286 0.02006 70 68 2 0
6013 And after the flaming asteroid streaks across the sky w'll all be extinct in five days.....mwaahaahaah{ 1.0286 0.02006 70 68 2 0
6014 The humans were right. You do look scary lit that way. 1.0286 0.02006 70 68 2 0
6015 Hey whats up guys. It's Quandale Dingle. 1.0282 0.02817 71 70 0 1
6016 It's meant to make us look scarier! 1.0282 0.01978 71 69 2 0
6017 And all of a sudden , we were staring at the ghost dragon from "Mr Fester's cave. 1.0282 0.01978 71 69 2 0
6018 And then a BIG ROCK came crashing down... 1.0282 0.01978 71 69 2 0
6019 Honey, I am getting our emergency kit together! Another disaster for our plant is on the way!! 1.0282 0.01978 71 69 2 0
6020 And the ESG fund didn’t screen for fossil fuels! 1.0282 0.01978 71 69 2 0
6021 And so millions of years after the asteroid hits, his skeletal remains are put on display in a large hut on Central Park West. 1.0278 0.01950 72 70 2 0
6022 And then out jumped a meteor with a hook hand! 1.0278 0.02778 72 71 0 1
6023 Who stole my golden arm? 1.0278 0.01950 72 70 2 0
6024 You DON'T think it's a timeless face? 1.0278 0.01950 72 70 2 0
6025 Then there was a monster in front of me. 1.0274 0.01924 73 71 2 0
6026 Implants by Dr. Saber Tooth, I found him on cave wall. 1.0270 0.01898 74 72 2 0
6027 And then he killed all his old friends for intervening in his relationship with the blonde human. 1.0267 0.01873 75 73 2 0
6028 And she wanted us to go steady! 1.0267 0.01873 75 73 2 0
6029 Y'know, Saint George is gonna be annoyed when he finds you've juiced his batteries again. 1.0267 0.01873 75 73 2 0
6030 If you keep your bare feet this close to the fire, I can promise you we'll be dealing with something scary. 1.0263 0.01848 76 74 2 0
6031 Eeeaak! That'll really scare the mammals. 1.0263 0.01848 76 74 2 0
6032 And then the little human family moved to the cruel suburbs! 1.0256 0.01801 78 76 2 0
6033 But the light was actually coming from shining armor inside the lair! 1.0253 0.01779 79 77 2 0
6034 I won my cash in mesozoic era; I have a right to be angry 1.0247 0.01735 81 79 2 0
6035 I hear there are some creatures like us that people call humans. 1.0244 0.01714 82 80 2 0
6036 And then, the asteroid obliterated the entire world- the end! 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
6037 ...And then a being with horribly smooth skin approached. It walked upright, gritted its teeth, and...did I mention this story is sci-fi? 1.0241 0.01693 83 81 2 0
6038 And then a huge asteroid was spotted in the night sky! 1.0230 0.01616 87 85 2 0
6039 …and suddenly, they heard the familiar little giggle behind them and there she was, the pretty… little…PRINCESS! 1.0175 0.01770 57 56 1 0
6040 And then he heard, "The meteor is coming from inside the house!" 1.0169 0.01709 59 58 1 0
6041 I'm going for a scary effect, like a blazing monster that could fall out of the sky and kill everyone? What do you think?" "Crazy not scary. Could never happen. 1.0167 0.01681 60 59 1 0
6042 And behind the bush...he saw...St. George! 1.0161 0.01626 62 61 1 0
6043 …and then the monster came and said Gotcha! 1.0159 0.01600 63 62 1 0
6044 The Lost World explorers would've brought more neat stuff. Too bad you ate them. 1.0159 0.01600 63 62 1 0
6045 But then a T. Rex ate the headless horseman. 1.0154 0.01550 65 64 1 0
6046 You know what the scary part is, they don't even have fire breath! 1.0152 0.01527 66 65 1 0
6047 And then the vegetarians rose up, lusting for peace and harmony. 1.0149 0.01504 67 66 1 0
6048 There’s no business like show business 1.0147 0.01482 68 67 1 0
6049 'The Evil Princess made a "princess dummy" out of straw and filled it with boiling tar and dressed it in her silk gown and offered it to the innocent dragon as a gift. The poor dragon swallowed it whole and it exploded inside his belly, killing him!' 1.0145 0.01460 69 68 1 0
6050 . . . and the humans could breathe fire and shoot lasers from their eyes! 1.0145 0.01460 69 68 1 0
6051 It was a dark and stormy night, when amoebas still ruled the earth. 1.0143 0.01439 70 69 1 0
6052 And then a bright, silvery star appears in the sky... 1.0141 0.01418 71 70 1 0
6053 ...then AT&T bought TimeWarner in a highly leveraged deal. Now, a bunch of cornfed Texans who didn't know shit about making TV were calling shots at HBO, and soon all the good dragon roles dried up — and Syrax couldn't afford the place up in Tahoe... 1.0141 0.01418 71 70 1 0
6054 And that was the arrival of chatGPT 1.0139 0.01399 72 71 1 0
6055 It's Hollywood! Robert Jablon/rcjablon@aol.com/202-333-5332 1.0133 0.01342 75 74 1 0
6056 Camping on Halloween can be a lot of fun. 1.0123 0.01242 81 80 1 0
6057 I love it when you read from your resume at night. 1.0120 0.01212 83 82 1 0
6058 And then the asteroid hits the earth and it’s darkness. 1.0119 0.01198 84 83 1 0
6059 Well, if that isn't magical, what is? 1.0000 0.01709 59 59 0 0
6060 You slayed me with that one. Joe! 1.0000 0.01527 66 66 0 0
6061 Do I have any marshmallows in my teeth? 1.0000 0.01504 67 67 0 0