Contest #838 Summary

Name	Value
Submission deadline	-
Voting started	-
Voting ended	-
Finalists announced	-
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued	-
Number of captions	6062
Number of responses	711545
Number of participants	-

Rank	Caption	Mean	Precision	Total votes	"Unfunny" votes	"Somewhat funny" votes	"Funny" votes
0	It’s a win-win. He was delicious, and now we’ve got a flashlight.	1.6697	0.02447	1096	600	258	238
1	And all that was left was a giant carbon footprint	1.6695	0.01258	2959	1343	1251	365
2	And then he saw something that made his blood run warm.	1.6613	0.01235	3171	1486	1273	412
3	Why not just exhale and save the batteries?	1.6242	0.01357	2581	1280	991	310
4	And then you wake up in a museum naked.	1.6037	0.02014	1466	841	365	260
5	I always get the damn merit badges stuck in my teeth.	1.5905	0.01361	2645	1411	906	328
6	Suddenly she heard an asteroid snap. She lay there, petrified.	1.5789	0.01263	2484	1235	1060	189
7	Do I have anyone stuck in my teeth?	1.5768	0.01803	1770	1042	435	293
8	Dad, that joke is 100 million years old!	1.5757	0.01777	1810	1064	450	296
9	Stop already! You’re making me a nervous rex.	1.5718	0.02741	808	492	170	146
10	And his caption was lost forever.	1.5713	0.01407	2622	1483	780	359
11	Is there someone in my teeth?	1.5684	0.01569	2479	1522	505	452
12	Oooh, your stories make my blood run warm.	1.5637	0.01405	2269	1219	821	229
13	Stop it! It makes you look like a monster!	1.5554	0.01966	1408	835	364	209
14	Then they strung his bones together with wire and hung them from the ceiling!	1.5543	0.01849	1474	846	439	189
15	Is anyone stuck in my teeth?	1.5532	0.01753	1804	1083	444	277
16	Wait: You have thumbs?!	1.5531	0.01855	1611	967	397	247
17	I can't tell if I'm still hungry or if he has his phone on vibrate.	1.5448	0.02061	1362	845	292	225
18	…and there, in the museum lobby, missing half his bones, was Uncle Herman!	1.5443	0.02078	1288	785	305	198
19	It’s a tale as old as, well, us.	1.5436	0.01981	1157	647	391	119
20	And then they wired his bones together and put him in a museum.	1.5391	0.01808	1508	879	445	184
21	Please,not the one about the asteroid.	1.5359	0.02069	1241	751	315	175
22	Legend says that the meteor is still out there...	1.5303	0.01994	1288	774	345	169
23	And then they turned Godzilla… INTO A MUSICAL.	1.5257	0.02138	1185	735	277	173
24	Yeah, yeah...In a certain kind of light you look just like Godzilla.	1.5220	0.02069	1157	695	320	142
25	Don't do that. It makes you look scary.	1.5215	0.02130	1162	717	284	161
26	The big ones were forcing the little ones to eat vegetables	1.5215	0.02288	815	462	281	72
27	Then they hang your bones and use your corpse for fuel	1.5156	0.01997	995	555	367	73
28	You look like Marjorie Taylor Greene	1.5147	0.02357	1055	689	189	177
29	I dunno, this is what those campers were doing before we ate them	1.5113	0.02439	882	552	209	121
30	And then, they used our remains to power their cars!	1.5084	0.02306	958	595	239	124
31	And all this time I didn't think our front legs were good for anything!	1.5082	0.02289	970	602	243	125
32	Quoth the Raptor ‘Carnivore.’	1.5078	0.02495	967	646	151	170
33	You think this is scary, you should have seen the look on the face of the guy I took this from	1.5070	0.02371	931	586	218	127
34	You've got someone in your teeth.	1.5064	0.02336	934	582	231	121
35	It'd probably be more chilling if we weren't already cold-blooded.	1.5058	0.02007	943	527	355	61
36	Then suddenly, they heard a big BANG. The end.”	1.5039	0.02560	905	604	146	155
37	So I guess this means you forgot the marshmallows.	1.5038	0.02347	915	570	229	116
38	Is this going to be the asteroid one again?	1.4971	0.02340	849	518	240	91
39	Are we dinosaurs or dragons? I’m so high right now.	1.4966	0.02744	739	485	141	113
40	...and they'll use our liquified bones to fuel mid-size sedans	1.4964	0.02481	822	519	198	105
41	And in millions of years we’ll just be birds.	1.4945	0.02314	819	491	251	77
42	Something about this sudden cold snap is really bothering me.	1.4938	0.02163	802	456	296	50
43	I do like your karaoke, Dino. But "I Will Survive" just makes me uncomfortable..	1.4938	0.02503	802	507	194	101
44	It's true! Long ago Humans used to roam the Earth!	1.4934	0.02563	756	476	187	93
45	And they’ll use your decayed bones as fuel to travel all around Earth!	1.4918	0.02512	793	502	192	99
46	You have a bit of pterodactyl in your teeth.	1.4910	0.02233	780	451	275	54
47	Do I have someone between my teeth?	1.4902	0.02607	765	493	169	103
48	Can't we just have a nice evening by the fire without all the drama?	1.4888	0.02197	759	432	283	44
49	Then, the Asteroid Deniers got elected.	1.4888	0.02667	757	496	152	109
50	I got my braces off!!	1.4874	0.02623	751	485	166	100
51	And their young are born . . . alive!	1.4856	0.02610	727	463	175	89
52	They all have smooth, near hair-less skin, ten toes, and a scream that can turn you into pudding. They call them toddlers.	1.4855	0.02673	725	470	158	97
53	And then all of Earth became a graveyard where, to this day, they are still digging up our bones…	1.4850	0.02683	734	480	152	102
54	You always ruin your campfire stories by going too over-the-top. Extinction, Roy? I mean, really?	1.4840	0.02692	721	470	153	98
55	You're scaring the coprolite out of me.	1.4840	0.02268	719	414	262	43
56	I found it when digging through the remains of the previous civilization!”	1.4824	0.02653	740	483	157	100
57	Call me old school, but breathing fire is a lot scarier!	1.4798	0.02695	694	449	157	88
58	Tell me that one about civilization again.	1.4795	0.02407	684	406	228	50
59	…then Puff heard the eeriest noise coming from the autumn mist…	1.4794	0.02694	678	435	161	82
60	And then he said 'I just need to find 11,780 votes'...	1.4790	0.02822	668	442	132	94
61	Do Trump again!	1.4764	0.02841	657	436	129	92
62	Any campers stuck in my teeth?	1.4764	0.02699	657	419	163	75
63	And then they put your bones on display for all to see.	1.4760	0.02773	647	419	148	80
64	At night, they carry these. They are easy to spot. And, they are delicious.	1.4752	0.02730	644	412	158	74
65	Does this face look extinct to you?	1.4745	0.02712	647	413	161	73
66	Legend has it the meteor is still out there....	1.4725	0.02805	637	416	141	80
67	No more Marjorie Taylor Greene impressions. I didn't sleep at all last night.	1.4725	0.03062	582	393	103	86
68	You should have asked the guy how to turn it off before you ate him.	1.4712	0.02787	626	405	147	74
69	I learned the flashlight trick from a cub scout I ate.	1.4707	0.02697	631	400	165	66
70	Either turn it off, or go floss.	1.4694	0.02835	620	406	137	77
71	It was a dark and stormy triassic period...	1.4693	0.02719	618	392	162	64
72	Christamighty, stop it, Griff. It makes you look like Trump.	1.4664	0.03005	596	404	106	86
73	...so George slew him with his lance . In gratitude, the Catholic Church made him a saint and we've been Protestants ever since."	1.4648	0.03066	583	399	97	87
74	This isn't going to be another meteor story, is it?	1.4640	0.03065	528	348	115	65
75	And just like that we were all gone…! Except for Alligators	1.4628	0.02732	592	375	160	57
76	Is there something in my teeth?	1.4603	0.02933	554	362	129	63
77	Stop it! You look like some kind of monster!	1.4599	0.02968	548	360	124	64
78	So the dinosaurs were wiped out but the dragons survived?	1.4590	0.02595	536	320	186	30
79	Is that a true story, dad?" "Ha ha! Of course not, son. There's no such thing as asteroids.	1.4576	0.02969	542	356	124	62
80	I'm so glad we saw those hikers. We got dinner and a show.	1.4567	0.03328	416	270	102	44
81	Does this light make my face look extinct?	1.4549	0.03021	521	343	119	59
82	Then the humans burned our gooey remains in their cars.	1.4537	0.02595	518	309	183	26
83	The only scary part of this story is wondering where you got the flashlight.	1.4526	0.03074	517	345	110	62
84	And his bones were displayed in a museum!	1.4524	0.03021	515	339	119	57
85	And the big, bad space rock came closer... and closer...	1.4519	0.02917	509	326	136	47
86	I bet the 2-leggeds will claim to have discovered this too.	1.4502	0.03091	502	334	110	58
87	And they all became... OIL!	1.4498	0.03096	498	331	110	57
88	Is there any Boy Scout stuck in my teeth?	1.4487	0.03074	497	329	113	55
89	...and then the dragon slayer said "remember me, my name is George Santos."	1.4482	0.03229	502	346	87	69
90	Tell the one about the little girl who lives over the bed.	1.4477	0.02919	411	248	142	21
91	Yeah, yeah, burning ball from the sky blah blah blah - say something scary!	1.4477	0.03015	516	342	117	57
92	And all they found were his bones.	1.4472	0.03125	483	321	108	54
93	So the meteor gets closer, and closer.	1.4470	0.03037	481	313	121	47
94	Stupid story--no big rock can kill us all!	1.4451	0.03055	492	325	115	52
95	They say Saint George still walks this forest.	1.4449	0.03078	481	317	114	50
96	So what happened AFTER he announced he was running for president again in 2024?	1.4433	0.03260	467	318	91	58
97	And then the terrified hiker screamed, "Here, take the damned flashlight!"	1.4430	0.03065	465	303	118	44
98	... and the terrible monsters turned their victims into a gooey brown liquid to fuel their terrible machines.	1.4413	0.03119	460	303	111	46
99	But the real killer was diabetes.	1.4408	0.02965	456	290	131	35
100	And they'll dig up your bones and wire them together and put them on display.	1.4400	0.03184	450	299	104	47
101	The itch kept getting worse, but his arms still couldn't reach it.	1.4398	0.03071	457	298	117	42
102	Your Great Uncle Puff was last seen touring with The Grateful Dead in the early 90s.	1.4395	0.03283	446	302	92	52
103	Yes, I see it I warned you to eat only Republicans. They have no fiber.	1.4388	0.03386	449	312	77	60
104	Is that hiker still stuck in my teeth?	1.4385	0.03199	447	298	102	47
105	And eventually, there were humans swarming everywhere	1.4379	0.03188	443	294	104	45
106	You know what’s scary? That you can work a flashlight.	1.4378	0.03269	434	291	96	47
107	It was a dark and scary night in a land called Honalee…	1.4374	0.03203	455	306	99	50
108	You didn’t have to eat them. They would have let you play with the flashlight if you just asked.	1.4374	0.03257	439	295	96	48
109	He was Purple. And his name was Barney.	1.4355	0.03348	434	297	85	52
110	Just turn it off your gonna attract Monthras	1.4352	0.03246	432	289	98	45
111	And in millions of years you are turned into...OIL	1.4352	0.03179	432	285	106	41
112	Do any of these stories end with us winning?	1.4346	0.03217	428	284	102	42
113	Tell me, do I look like I'm extinct!?	1.4333	0.03330	420	284	90	46
114	And then we all became extinct, without getting credit for discovering fire or inventing the flashlight.	1.4323	0.03307	421	284	92	45
115	Where did you find batteries?"	1.4313	0.03249	422	282	98	42
116	The scary part is when the little monkeys lose their hair and take over the world.	1.4312	0.03408	429	298	77	54
117	Then the evil knight in shining armor slayed the poor dragon and escaped with the wicked princess.	1.4300	0.03276	414	277	96	41
118	Forget it, Eddie, you'll never look like Godzilla.	1.4300	0.03517	414	291	68	55
119	Do I have any Boy Scout in my teeth?	1.4289	0.03292	408	273	95	40
120	Good try Dave but Tucker Carlson is still scarier.	1.4282	0.03433	411	284	78	49
121	The phonecall is coming from inside your stomach!	1.4279	0.03401	402	274	84	44
122	… and then the last human looked at me and said: I thought you didn’t exist! And I said: welcome to extinction, pal!	1.4279	0.03613	402	286	60	56
123	…and then they forgot to cancel the free trial.	1.4275	0.03310	414	280	91	43
124	... Then they took this old stuff out of the ground and burned it, and the planet got hot, and the water rose, and they became extinct. The end	1.4275	0.03458	407	282	76	49
125	It’s not scary and you’re wasting batteries.	1.4267	0.03432	382	258	85	39
126	I call it "fire to go."	1.4261	0.03418	399	273	82	44
127	You've still got camper stuck between your teeth.	1.4253	0.03425	395	270	82	43
128	And then someone yelled, “IT’S AN ASTEROID!”	1.4249	0.03380	393	266	87	40
129	Yes, I see it now--I'll get the tweezers	1.4247	0.03344	405	275	88	42
130	And then the humans searched for the dead dinosaurs’ bones, put them together like a puzzle, and displayed them for other humans’ ENJOYMENT!	1.4242	0.03346	389	261	91	37
131	Quit trying to scare me with extinction stories!	1.4236	0.03343	399	270	89	40
132	...And the birds were US the whole time!	1.4231	0.03320	390	261	93	36
133	Long ago humans roamed the land.	1.4223	0.03443	386	264	81	41
134	Do that one where Kari Lake hears she lost.	1.4220	0.03634	391	279	59	53
135	You said to pack light.”	1.4219	0.03534	384	267	72	45
136	You still have a piece of camper stuck between your teeth.	1.4206	0.03455	378	258	81	39
137	So … do I look extinct now?	1.4202	0.03385	376	253	88	35
138	Chicken... they tasted like chicken.	1.4199	0.03514	381	264	74	43
139	Got it on Amazon, free delivery, and the delivery person was delicious	1.4198	0.03662	374	265	61	48
140	And an asteroid hit the earth and turned us all into petro-chemicals. The end. Hahahah, I got you!	1.4198	0.03522	374	258	75	41
141	Stop it! It makes you look like Ted Cruz.	1.4191	0.03430	408	285	75	48
142	Here's a trick to scare off predators at night.	1.4182	0.03274	373	246	98	29
143	Then he said, "I'm a paleontologist."	1.4181	0.03489	354	239	82	33
144	Then I told them I was going to run for a third time in 2024.	1.4180	0.03612	378	267	64	47
145	See, from below, it makes even a face like mine look scary.	1.4178	0.03501	371	255	77	39
146	And then we return as gas!	1.4173	0.03408	369	249	86	34
147	Noah’s yacht party was today?!	1.4169	0.03486	367	251	79	37
148	And then the foolish human walked right up to me and said 'nice Halloween costume!'	1.4160	0.03491	363	248	79	36
149	Oooh, you scared me! I can't wait to get home under Billy's bed!	1.4160	0.03599	363	253	69	41
150	And no one - I mean no one- had a plan to knock it off course!	1.4134	0.03569	358	248	72	38
151	Don't know what's scarier, the flashlight trick or you starting this campfire with your breath.	1.4129	0.03584	356	247	71	38
152	And when you do this they run away screaming!	1.4118	0.03372	374	254	86	34
153	Any idea how they got the fire inside this thing?"	1.4114	0.03395	350	234	88	28
154	And after they turned him purple, they named him Barney!	1.4103	0.03366	368	249	87	32
155	And then a giant ball of fire fell from the sky and BOO, everyone died.	1.4099	0.03459	344	232	83	29
156	Relax, it's just a scary story! Like extinction could ever really happen!	1.4095	0.03510	337	228	80	29
157	Do you see this face? It's not a happy one. You were supposed to bring the marshmallows.	1.4094	0.03642	342	238	68	36
158	Does this make me look scary?	1.4092	0.03510	347	237	78	32
159	When Fred didn't laugh at his jokes, Bob realized just how cold blooded his friend really was.	1.4092	0.03446	369	254	79	36
160	Do I have anyone in my teeth?	1.4092	0.03592	369	261	65	43
161	You know you can beathe fire, right?	1.4083	0.03697	338	237	64	37
162	'"We might be scary and ugly now but in a million years, kids will love us."	1.4078	0.03652	358	254	62	42
163	I camp out here to recharge my batteries.”	1.4075	0.03835	346	251	49	46
164	But its just a theory though, right?	1.4074	0.03193	378	251	100	27
165	Turn that off! We're gonna need those batteries when we reach Tokyo tomorrow night.	1.4064	0.03616	342	238	69	35
166	So, my Mom the astronomer says we're in for a big surprise.	1.4064	0.03640	342	239	67	36
167	Matt Gratz? Lauren Boebert? No - wait - I got it! Marjorie Taylor Greene!!!	1.4054	0.03760	333	236	59	38
168	Not the one about the meteor again.	1.4051	0.03555	353	246	71	36
169	Is there anyone in my teeth?	1.4048	0.03473	331	223	82	26
170	The great fireball struck, then there was darkness… just kidding!	1.4042	0.03628	334	232	69	33
171	And then they crawl up your leg and suck your blood. They’re called ‘ticks’.	1.4042	0.03845	334	241	51	42
172	Look! I’m a lounge lizard!	1.4036	0.03517	332	226	78	28
173	Oh no, not that meteorite story again.	1.4034	0.03547	357	250	70	37
174	Finally, illumination without incineration.	1.4031	0.03675	325	226	67	32
175	No, honestly, you're scarier in daylight.	1.4029	0.03458	340	231	81	28
176	Enough with the giant stone that will fall from the sky and wipe us all out. Tell me something scary!	1.4018	0.03398	326	217	87	22
177	Nope. You're still not scary.	1.4012	0.03576	324	222	74	28
178	And then....BOO! Extinction!	1.4011	0.03344	349	235	88	26
179	And to this day humans are credited with inventing fire.	1.4006	0.03632	317	218	71	28
180	Nope still there. Let me get you some Dino-Floss.	1.4006	0.03724	322	226	63	33
181	I did the monster mash. It was a campground smash.	1.4006	0.03416	342	232	83	27
182	The child said "Mommy there is a monster in the closet" and the Mom said "No there isn't let me show you" She opens the door. Oh the look on her face was priceless. Thats why I do this work.	1.4000	0.03792	320	227	58	35
183	And then the little boy crept up very quietly and pushed him into the tar pit...	1.4000	0.03552	320	218	76	26
184	Cool it, Bill. Those batteries have to last for at least 66 million years.	1.4000	0.04383	230	161	46	23
185	Using a flashlight instead of your phone? That’s prehistoric.	1.3988	0.03704	321	225	64	32
186	Do I have any princess in my teeth?	1.3987	0.03827	316	225	56	35
187	Calm down. We can just lay back and watch meteors.	1.3968	0.03264	315	205	95	15
188	Scaredy cat! There's no such thing as meteors!	1.3968	0.03617	315	217	71	27
189	Yes, you mentioned that you got your teeth whitened.	1.3968	0.03727	315	221	63	31
190	You need a cell phone for a selfie, you idiot!	1.3968	0.03853	310	221	55	34
191	And it all happened 25 million years ago, on a night…just…like…tonight…	1.3961	0.03732	308	215	64	29
192	To be honest, under-lighting is really not flattering to your facial structure.	1.3961	0.03646	308	212	70	26
193	If I let you use the flashlight, can we go hide under the bed before it's Timmy's bedtime?	1.3941	0.03795	307	217	59	31
194	How about we reduce our carbon footprint and just go bump in the night.	1.3940	0.03285	302	196	93	13
195	And then he digs your bones from the ground and puts you back together for everyone to see!	1.3930	0.03516	341	238	72	31
196	Read my lips. There's no way we'll ever go extinct.	1.3926	0.03759	298	208	63	27
197	Do I still have Boy Scout in my teeth?	1.3913	0.03779	299	210	61	28
198	Come on, man, this story about climate change is a hoax. Tell us the one about the asteroid!	1.3912	0.03855	294	208	57	29
199	You do realize that you're speaking into a flashlight.	1.3902	0.03828	287	201	60	26
200	Do I have any s’more stuck in my teeth?	1.3902	0.03838	305	218	55	32
201	…and their entire economy will be fueled by our decomposing bones	1.3902	0.03724	305	214	63	28
202	Please, no more people stories!	1.3897	0.03861	290	205	57	28
203	It's just not scary since you had botox.	1.3893	0.03903	298	214	52	32
204	I hate online dating and no, you still don't look like your picture!	1.3891	0.03771	293	205	62	26
205	Don’t try to make a joke out of this. YOU forgot the marshmallows.	1.3887	0.03577	301	206	73	22
206	And then there was ice everywhere! For ages!	1.3875	0.03775	289	202	62	25
207	You really need to floss more often.	1.3868	0.03825	287	202	59	26
208	And then they glued his skeleton back together and charged humans money to see him	1.3864	0.03719	295	206	64	25
209	Any of that tent still stuck in my teeth?	1.3859	0.03661	298	207	67	24
210	Have you ever heard the story of the hairless biped?	1.3843	0.03713	281	194	66	21
211	Then the asteroid hit, and wiped out all the humans.	1.3835	0.04030	279	202	47	30
212	Ummm…I don’t know. Are you “Barney”? Dammit Carl, I give up.	1.3826	0.03897	298	216	50	32
213	Geez, do you have to tell the one about the asteroid again?	1.3822	0.04785	191	137	35	19
214	Stop it! There is no such thing as monsters!	1.3818	0.03905	275	195	55	25
215	But the asteroid was coming much closer to Earth than astronomers had projected!	1.3818	0.03837	275	193	59	23
216	Do I look extinct to you?	1.3810	0.03820	273	191	60	22
217	And they loved fossil fuels.	1.3810	0.03820	273	191	60	22
218	These campfire stories would be scarier if we weren't at the top of the food chain	1.3801	0.03739	292	206	61	25
219	My name is Larry, and my pronoun is 'it'.	1.3801	0.04081	271	197	45	29
220	And the giant rock in the sky just kept getting bigger and bigger...	1.3800	0.03875	300	218	50	32
221	And then they put your bones back together piece by piece to display for their little ones.	1.3798	0.03912	287	207	51	29
222	...and when he turned around, he saw the meteor was right behind him!	1.3787	0.03597	301	210	68	23
223	This is my 'come hither' look.	1.3787	0.03756	272	189	63	20
224	It's a souvenir from the guy I had for lunch.	1.3783	0.03878	267	188	57	22
225	Dad, what's an asteroid?	1.3782	0.03867	275	195	56	24
226	But we're rechargeable, right?”	1.3773	0.04218	273	204	35	34
227	And then they'll display our bones in museums!	1.3772	0.03600	289	200	69	20
228	Now do a bunny.	1.3769	0.03829	268	188	59	21
229	I'm not sure. It's either spinach or someone green that you ate.	1.3769	0.03973	268	192	51	25
230	That's nothing. I saw a mammal yesterday!	1.3768	0.03643	284	197	67	20
231	And then, they used us for fuel	1.3764	0.03763	271	189	62	20
232	Do I have any people in my teeth?	1.3763	0.04054	279	205	43	31
233	I don't know what it is, either, but the guy I got it from was delicious.	1.3750	0.03755	264	183	63	18
234	And then he killed them in cold blood. Or warm blood? Frankly nobody’s sure.	1.3741	0.03587	294	205	68	21
235	You scare me when you talk like that. Small rodents-like creatures evolving to replace us, no way!	1.3741	0.03770	270	189	61	20
236	I've been carrying a torch for you for so long.”	1.3741	0.04315	270	205	29	36
237	Do I have any brave knight in my teeth?	1.3735	0.03940	257	182	54	21
238	And then all the dinosaurs were subjected to demeaning occupations by a human named Flintstone.	1.3735	0.04017	257	184	50	23
239	Yes, you look scary. Stop being so insecure.	1.3731	0.03869	260	183	57	20
240	I'd like to announce my 2024 presidential bid.	1.3726	0.04164	263	194	40	29
241	The asteroid got bigger and bigger and BIGGER…	1.3722	0.04024	266	193	47	26
242	And it turned out the call was coming from INSIDE THE CAVE!	1.3716	0.03933	261	186	53	22
243	And I ate them happily ever after.	1.3715	0.04021	253	181	50	22
244	And that’s what fossil fuels are!	1.3713	0.03889	272	195	53	24
245	And then they elected him AGAIN!!!	1.3712	0.04185	264	196	38	30
246	You're frightening me. You look like Majorie Taylor Greene!	1.3711	0.04283	256	191	35	30
247	Trust me- 65 million years from now, they’ll still be saying “Boo!”	1.3707	0.03915	259	184	54	21
248	CAREFUL: That's a knight light."	1.3702	0.03883	262	186	55	21
249	Oh, will you evolve, already?	1.3701	0.03889	254	179	56	19
250	So you remembered the flashlight but forgot the marshmallows?	1.3695	0.04221	249	183	40	26
251	..and then, a giant meteorite hit earth and killed all the humans....ahhh..	1.3692	0.03883	279	202	51	26
252	Remind me to floss......	1.3690	0.03828	252	176	59	17
253	Anybody here from the Early Cretaceous Period?	1.3686	0.03916	255	181	54	20
254	And then Donald Trump was elected again.	1.3684	0.04283	247	183	37	27
255	Is there a camper stuck between my teeth?	1.3678	0.03656	261	180	66	15
256	...and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee...	1.3673	0.04027	245	175	50	20
257	Stop it! Mom and Dad say Humans aren't real and can't mess up our planet through systemic pollution and climate change!	1.3664	0.03989	262	190	48	24
258	Great, now I'm too scared to eat anybody else	1.3658	0.03852	257	182	56	19
259	and then hundreds of little monsters called "cub scouts" rampaged through the forest...	1.3655	0.04019	249	179	49	21
260	And it wasn't an asteroid, just a Chinese spy balloon.	1.3651	0.04113	241	174	46	21
261	Please, not another asteroid story!	1.3651	0.03942	241	170	54	17
262	Don’t scare me like that, Frank - I almost coughed up a camper!	1.3651	0.03984	252	181	50	21
263	The whitening looks great but you ate the dentist”?	1.3646	0.04446	192	136	42	14
264	Please, enough with your asteroid stories. They scare me	1.3640	0.03951	228	159	55	14
265	See any signs of evolution?	1.3640	0.04094	239	172	47	20
266	And then, the humans elected Trump.	1.3640	0.04277	250	187	35	28
267	If you scare away the campers,we will not be able to eat them.	1.3640	0.03842	250	176	57	17
268	You think the vanishing hitchhiker is scary? Wait till I tell you what happens to us.	1.3636	0.04049	253	184	46	23
269	Nope. Not scarier.	1.3633	0.03763	245	170	61	14
270	Here's one Uncle Rex taught me.	1.3629	0.03819	248	174	58	16
271	...he had a nose, skin, hair, and worst of all: opposable thumbs.	1.3629	0.04117	237	171	46	20
272	But asteroids aren’t real, are they?	1.3629	0.04073	237	170	48	19
273	And then the stores ran out of toilet paper	1.3625	0.04149	251	185	41	25
274	I got this off a guy who was hiding under my bed.	1.3622	0.04074	254	186	44	24
275	Stop trying to scare me. Last night's asteroid story was bad enough.	1.3621	0.04167	243	178	42	23
276	And then wars will be fought over your liquid bones!	1.3621	0.04001	243	174	50	19
277	You are never more than three feet away from a spider, or a comet.	1.3608	0.04173	255	190	38	27
278	It's just a story, there's no space rock that will kill us all!	1.3603	0.03994	247	178	49	20
279	Oooh, I'm a meteorite headed for Earth!	1.3590	0.04014	234	167	50	17
280	...and she awoke the next morning with FEATHERS.	1.3590	0.04322	234	174	36	24
281	Just imagine when they find this with our fossils in a couple million years!!	1.3581	0.04120	229	165	46	18
282	And the meteor got closer, and closer and then...	1.3577	0.04084	246	180	44	22
283	It's not bad, but I still think it was more intimidating when we could breathe fire.	1.3574	0.03954	235	167	52	16
284	…and they call that place the American Museum of Natural History	1.3574	0.04045	235	169	48	18
285	..and he had a hand for a claw.	1.3574	0.04110	263	197	38	28
286	....and then I ate Little Jackie Paper.	1.3568	0.04191	227	165	43	19
287	How can we reflect on the past when there hasn't been one yet?	1.3568	0.03902	227	159	55	13
288	I don’t actually know the end of the scary story because I was too hungry to let the camper finish.	1.3562	0.04332	233	174	35	24
289	Then she said “ What big teeth you have Grandmother!”	1.3562	0.03976	233	166	51	16
290	And then a meteor flew down from the sky and wiped out our entire species! And millions of years later the newest and most evolved species would live to reenact all of our ugliest and worst moments for their own entertainment.	1.3560	0.03913	250	180	51	19
291	Implants or real?	1.3556	0.04215	225	164	42	19
292	And if the meteor wasn't enough, the "humans" will put our bones on display and claim they invented fire.	1.3556	0.04168	225	163	44	18
293	And then we went extinct!	1.3554	0.03872	242	172	54	16
294	Stop that! It makes you look like a human.	1.3550	0.03902	231	163	54	14
295	Look... Now I'm even scarier	1.3544	0.04061	237	172	46	19
296	Now that I‘ve invented fire I can get rid of this stupid flashlight.	1.3544	0.04275	237	177	36	24
297	Hey, stop playing with that thing! It's worth a lot since humans have become extinct.	1.3544	0.04275	237	177	36	24
298	I found this with my last meal.	1.3543	0.04192	223	162	43	18
299	And then this big rock started to fall out of the sky	1.3540	0.04152	226	164	44	18
300	So you figured out a portal to the future and brought back a light. I must be high.	1.3537	0.04114	229	166	45	18
301	Did I get some of him stuck in my teeth?	1.3516	0.04242	219	160	41	18
302	And in 200 million years your bones will be reassembled incorrectly and displayed in the mammal museums.	1.3516	0.04292	219	161	39	19
303	Gee, Pops, did he ever concede the election?	1.3514	0.04297	222	164	38	20
304	And the giant asteroid got closer and closer. . .	1.3511	0.04113	225	163	45	17
305	Now that I’ve invented fire, I’m going to run for Congress.	1.3511	0.04255	225	166	39	20
306	Not only do they taste good...they have cool gadgets.	1.3498	0.04038	223	160	48	15
307	It had hair growing out of its head... and was warm-blooded!	1.3488	0.04294	215	158	39	18
308	I'll show you scary. I forgot the marshmallows.	1.3484	0.04259	221	163	39	19
309	"And then he decided to run for President again."	1.3478	0.04228	230	171	38	21
310	Then a meteor comes and all of our grandchildren become birds.	1.3472	0.04123	216	156	45	15
311	But asteroids aren't real,right?	1.3472	0.04071	216	155	47	14
312	And then they built an entire civilization based on a non-renewable resource made from our bones	1.3472	0.04277	216	159	39	18
313	And then one day the new two-legged animals discover fossil fuels!!	1.3465	0.03971	228	164	49	15
314	And just then, a big burning ball of fire hurtled toward the earth.	1.3463	0.04257	231	173	36	22
315	Have you ever heard the one about the meteor from outer space?	1.3453	0.04226	223	165	39	19
316	I don't think that's how you take a selfie.	1.3448	0.04107	232	171	42	19
317	Film, two words	1.3445	0.04479	209	157	32	20
318	We all die, and then the little furry mammals take over!	1.3445	0.04159	209	151	44	14
319	That's great and all, Steve, but we can breathe fire.	1.3444	0.04682	180	133	32	15
320	The comet one's scarier.	1.3443	0.03952	212	150	51	11
321	The Dawn Of The Dad Joke	1.3442	0.04131	215	156	44	15
322	It was a dark and stormy Late Cretaceous Epoch...	1.3440	0.04092	218	158	45	15
323	Wow! When you hold the flashlight like that you look just like a monster.	1.3429	0.04357	210	156	36	18
324	And during dodge ball they laughed at Rex and called him tiny arms'.	1.3426	0.04219	216	159	40	17
325	That’s not on my Paleo diet	1.3423	0.04038	222	161	46	15
326	this is my museum pose	1.3420	0.04161	231	172	39	20
327	And then he said: "The call is coming from inside the cave!!!"	1.3415	0.04152	205	148	44	13
328	What’s scary about it to me is how much all your future orthodontic work is going to cost us	1.3411	0.04244	214	158	39	17
329	I still say breathing real fire is scarier.	1.3411	0.04396	214	161	33	20
330	And that’s when puberty hit me like an asteroid	1.3408	0.04122	223	164	42	17
331	And then? They were EXTINCT! Boo ha ha ha ha!	1.3405	0.04190	232	174	37	21
332	And then he realized that the little human boy was RIGHT UNDER THE BED!	1.3399	0.04292	203	149	39	15
333	And when he looked on top of the bed, there was a little kid under the sheets!	1.3398	0.04412	206	154	34	18
334	That makes the scales on the back of my back stand up…	1.3396	0.04270	212	157	38	17
335	…and if you listen carefully, you can still hear him to this day… singing “I love you…you love me…”	1.3396	0.04373	212	159	34	19
336	He froze as he entered the museum. It was his mom and dad, but only their skeletons.	1.3396	0.04217	212	156	40	16
337	How many times do I have to tell you "Yes, you're scary!"	1.3392	0.04019	227	166	45	16
338	Let's roast s'more campers.	1.3391	0.03947	233	170	47	16
339	One day a small two-legged creature will rule and ruin the earth	1.3391	0.04130	233	174	39	20
340	It was a dark and stormy night. An asteroid appeared in the sky.	1.3388	0.03942	245	181	45	19
341	You'd look just like Tucker Carlson if you had a bow tie!	1.3382	0.04551	207	158	28	21
342	Are you ever going to evolve?	1.3381	0.04452	210	159	31	20
343	And then they put us in gas tanks.	1.3381	0.04242	210	155	39	16
344	Ok, yes….you look like a monster.	1.3380	0.03928	213	152	50	11
345	These disgusting creatures don't even use eggs. They grow their brood inside. Inside their bodies! Mamal mia!	1.3380	0.04253	213	158	38	17
346	Let me tell you why I think global freezing is a myth.	1.3379	0.03910	219	157	50	12
347	Nice try, Eugene, but humans are a lot scarier.	1.3377	0.04062	231	171	42	18
348	OK, now can I breathe on the s'mores?	1.3367	0.04462	199	149	33	17
349	.....and then they all disappeared!!"	1.3365	0.03928	208	148	50	10
350	And all of the sudden, there was a loud BOOM!	1.3365	0.04268	208	154	38	16
351	...And then they switched to renewables, but it was TOO LATE!	1.3364	0.04103	220	162	42	16
352	What big teeth you have, Gramma.	1.3362	0.03941	229	167	47	15
353	Oh Jim! Did you eat the last Boy Scout!??!	1.3350	0.04254	197	144	40	13
354	You we’re scarier when I couldn’t see you.	1.3350	0.04210	200	146	41	13
355	And when she got out of the car, hanging from the door handle… was a velociraptor claw!	1.3350	0.04183	206	151	41	14
356	And THAT'S how much college will cost in 46 million years!	1.3349	0.04029	209	151	46	12
357	That's weird Bob, it DOES make you look less scary.	1.3349	0.04167	215	159	40	16
358	Do you realize how hard it is to change batteries without thumbs?	1.3333	0.04219	195	142	41	12
359	Yeah, you heard right, the kid literally thought he could tame me.	1.3333	0.03747	228	163	54	11
360	Who said short arms are useless?	1.3333	0.03861	192	134	52	6
361	And then the huge asteroid came and killed all the scary, mean humans and we lived happily ever after.	1.3333	0.04170	222	166	38	18
362	Suddenly, a big, hairy hand reached under the bed.	1.3333	0.03975	213	154	47	12
363	…and to this day that adorable little girl and her killer puppy live in these very woods!	1.3333	0.04236	198	145	40	13
364	Marjorie Taylor-Greene? Wait! George Santos!	1.3333	0.04641	198	152	26	20
365	Your going to give me knightmares.	1.3333	0.04045	216	158	44	14
366	If you think this is scary, wait till I tell you what I saw coming at us through my telescope last night!	1.3318	0.04095	220	163	41	16
367	And millions of years from now, what's left of you will power a Toyota Camry for about 2.1 highway miles.	1.3318	0.04374	211	160	32	19
368	If he only knew how ridiculous he looks," she thought. "First dates suck.	1.3317	0.04204	208	154	39	15
369	Oh relax,the two-legged hairless ape is just a myth.	1.3316	0.04245	193	141	40	12
370	If anything, you look less scary.	1.3304	0.03940	224	164	46	14
371	And the meteor grew closer, and closer...	1.3303	0.04028	221	163	43	15
372	I look hot! right?	1.3303	0.03977	221	162	45	14
373	Some say humans still roam these woods.	1.3302	0.04037	212	155	44	13
374	Please Marvin, its hard enough to look at you in the dark.	1.3302	0.04356	212	161	32	19
375	The meteor headed closer and closer...	1.3300	0.04433	200	151	32	17
376	And then a giant meteor hit the earth and wiped out all the humans except for the few we devoured very soon thereafter.	1.3299	0.04289	194	143	38	13
377	Stop it dad, you know that Jimmy Fallon face really freaks me out!	1.3299	0.04351	194	144	36	14
378	You’ve got a face for radio.	1.3298	0.04399	191	142	35	14
379	The children laughed and sang and roasted marshmallows… then went to sleep, UNAFRAID!	1.3298	0.04116	188	135	44	9
380	There is no future in being cold blooded.	1.3298	0.04384	188	139	36	13
381	You really should have had braces.	1.3298	0.04318	188	138	38	12
382	...and to this day, if you listen carefully on the wind, you can still hear the echoes of the creature screaming, 'Not imaginary?!'	1.3297	0.04298	185	135	39	11
383	Meh, still not scary.	1.3287	0.03983	216	158	45	13
384	Again,there is no cilantro in your teeth.	1.3284	0.04368	204	154	33	17
385	I saw the boy scouts we ate do this.	1.3284	0.04140	204	150	41	13
386	His human friends called him George, and he was no saint.	1.3281	0.04317	192	142	37	13
387	Don't you just know some Neanderthal is going to come along and take credit for discovering fire and light"	1.3280	0.04615	189	144	28	17
388	….and after the meteor, the mammals took over.	1.3280	0.04428	189	141	34	14
389	I love the way it lights up my smile.	1.3280	0.04364	189	140	36	13
390	I give up. Are you a dinosaur or a dragon?	1.3280	0.04553	189	143	30	16
391	You know what's really scary, global climate change deniers."	1.3280	0.04346	186	137	37	12
392	Then the hideous monster with the long hair sprouting from its head stood up on its two legs and began to….	1.3280	0.04478	186	139	33	14
393	It’s a souvenir from that Jurassic Park scientist I ate.	1.3280	0.04730	186	143	25	18
394	And then this hairless, scaleless creature said, “go ahead. Look under the bed”	1.3273	0.04236	220	167	34	19
395	We’ve got to go electric or we could cause the end of an era.	1.3269	0.04250	208	156	36	16
396	And that's supposed to be your scary face?	1.3269	0.04083	208	153	42	13
397	And then this giant fireball from the sky comes down and makes it cloudy and chilly and...poof...no more summer camp for you!"	1.3267	0.04282	202	151	36	15
398	Did that caveman get stuck in my teeth?	1.3266	0.04086	199	145	43	11
399	… then he said, “I thought you all were dead!”, dropped this, and ran away!	1.3262	0.04259	187	137	39	11
400	…and that’s how the humans became extinct.	1.3262	0.04392	187	139	35	13
401	Not the silly story about the asteroid. I want something believable	1.3262	0.04326	187	138	37	12
402	And that's supposed to scare me? I was in a tiny elevator with Rudy Giulani the other day.	1.3262	0.04647	187	143	27	17
403	Did the white strips work?	1.3262	0.04521	187	141	31	15
404	When you hold the flashlight like this you can make yourself look scary.	1.3261	0.04306	184	135	38	11
405	Hey Marty, how scary is this?	1.3259	0.04178	224	170	35	19
406	And they say that even today, St. George wanders these woods with his bloody sword, looking for the dragon that dared to abduct his beloved damsel.	1.3256	0.04452	215	167	26	22
407	Makes me look scary..right?	1.3251	0.04206	203	151	38	14
408	It's Johnny!	1.3250	0.04068	200	146	43	11
409	And then he said he was running for office again.	1.3247	0.04402	194	146	33	15
410	He was scaring little kids like this, I ate him and took it.	1.3246	0.04388	191	143	34	14
411	Supposedly, there is a energized bunny in here	1.3246	0.03924	191	136	48	7
412	Then grandpa Godzilla walked straight into the power lines and his face looked like this	1.3246	0.04195	191	140	40	11
413	And then we were gone, completely extinct. Museums displayed some of our bones and the scrawny little apes made tiny plastic toys of us for their children to play with.	1.3245	0.04240	188	138	39	11
414	Probably not a good time to bring this up, but I have been seeing another Godzilla.	1.3245	0.04625	188	144	27	17
415	Slowly, slowly, the asteroid crept toward the earth.	1.3243	0.04552	185	140	30	15
416	Here's a little trick I picked up from Troop 155.	1.3242	0.03989	219	162	43	14
417	...and then the knight, riding a speeding horse, came charging down the hill waving a sharp sword, aimed right for the poor baby dragon's neck.	1.3237	0.04089	207	153	41	13
418	And off in the distance they saw a large fiery ball growing larger and larger until…	1.3235	0.04188	204	152	38	14
419	I don’t get it. You can light a fire, you’re entertaining, got your own cave but you’ve never been married?	1.3234	0.04112	201	148	41	12
420	But can your fire do this?	1.3228	0.04417	189	142	33	14
421	They were nice and sang and toasted little white things. They were called g-i-r-l s-c-o-u-t-s.	1.3226	0.04334	186	138	36	12
422	And they say, the Headless Knight is still hunting dragons to this very day.	1.3224	0.04172	183	133	41	9
423	And then one night, little Jackie Paper came no more!	1.3218	0.04441	202	155	29	18
424	Not the one about the asteroid again...	1.3218	0.04272	202	152	35	15
425	...and the meteor was coming from inside the house!	1.3216	0.04433	199	152	30	17
426	6 months of Invisalign right here	1.3211	0.04460	190	144	31	15
427	Can you believe Spielberg said I was too ugly?	1.3209	0.04315	187	139	36	12
428	Can you still see the bags under my eyes?	1.3209	0.04179	187	137	40	10
429	Truth or scare?	1.3207	0.04081	184	133	43	8
430	Stop it! You look like a human.	1.3204	0.04616	181	138	28	15
431	No dad, do a scary face!	1.3204	0.04096	206	153	40	13
432	And then the voice said, ‘I want my marshmallows back’”	1.3202	0.04603	178	135	29	14
433	This is so cool. The only thing that could mess this up is an asteroid, and that’s never going to happen.	1.3194	0.04117	191	140	41	10
434	This is what he was doing just before I ate him!	1.3192	0.04056	213	159	40	14
435	Here's how it goes: you hide, and wait for the adult to do this. Then all the children scream. THEN you jump out and eat them.	1.3191	0.04614	188	145	26	17
436	and they made him into.... DINO NUGGETS!	1.3191	0.04295	188	140	36	12
437	It creeps me out when you put on your politician smile.	1.3189	0.04605	185	142	27	16
438	And having these straightened cost me ten thousand bucks.	1.3189	0.04274	185	137	37	11
439	And then... he becomes president!	1.3187	0.04594	182	139	28	15
440	Yeah, they were delicious and they have great toys!	1.3184	0.04441	179	134	33	12
441	...and thus we are the remaining survivors, doomed to appear in B-rated movies and theme parks.	1.3184	0.04394	201	154	30	17
442	You have a small piece of Neanderthal stuck between your teeth.	1.3182	0.04143	198	147	39	12
443	I think I have someone stuck in my teeth.	1.3182	0.04346	176	130	36	10
444	Ok, you have convinced me... With that smile and those ideas, you COULD make it in American Politics."	1.3182	0.04705	176	135	26	15
445	It was a light and clear day…	1.3179	0.04371	195	148	32	15
446	Is it still in my teeth?	1.3179	0.04620	173	131	29	13
447	and all the little T-Rexes died, and they turned into gasoline	1.3177	0.04165	192	142	39	11
448	...and they were worried about bears...	1.3169	0.04506	183	139	30	14
449	I can pretend to be scared, or, you could just stop doing that.	1.3169	0.04370	183	137	34	12
450	It’s scary ‘cause it’s true !	1.3167	0.04490	180	136	31	13
451	I see extinct people.	1.3163	0.04352	196	149	32	15
452	...and then he said, "Yes the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time we created a lot of value for shareholders.".	1.3158	0.04799	171	132	24	15
453	Further evidence that we are doomed as a species.	1.3152	0.04485	184	140	30	14
454	Would you like to taste some of my Tea,Rex?	1.3152	0.04550	184	141	28	15
455	And then.. they evolved!	1.3152	0.04485	184	140	30	14
456	And then, I crushed Tokyo!	1.3152	0.04140	184	135	40	9
457	Brushing AND flossing, Hank!	1.3152	0.04281	184	137	36	11
458	And in the future they will use our decomposing bodies to power their machines, and heat heat their homes!	1.3152	0.04485	184	140	30	14
459	Do I have someone in my teeth?	1.3149	0.04257	181	134	37	10
460	Do I have s’mores in my teeth?	1.3149	0.04537	181	138	29	14
461	…and then an asteroid hits and brings on an Ice Age. End of scary stories and time for bed.	1.3136	0.04687	169	129	27	13
462	Then BOOM we all died!	1.3136	0.04835	169	131	23	15
463	….and he’s purple…and his name is Barney	1.3136	0.04687	169	129	27	13
464	And then juvenile mammals will come to look at your bones…Forever!	1.3135	0.04397	185	140	32	13
465	But it wasn't a new moon, it was an asteroid!	1.3132	0.04378	182	137	33	12
466	I'll be here all millennium.	1.3128	0.04428	179	135	32	12
467	Wow! These batteries have lasted like forever.	1.3128	0.04538	195	152	25	18
468	Then he realized - the call was coming from inside his stomach!	1.3125	0.04590	192	150	24	18
469	All because of one stupid meteor?	1.3122	0.04092	205	154	38	13
470	Wow! Fire and a flashlight! This is going to drive the palaeontologists crazy!	1.3119	0.04476	202	158	25	19
471	So did you eat him before or after you took the flashlight?	1.3118	0.04434	170	127	33	10
472	The whitener changes everything.	1.3118	0.04663	170	130	27	13
473	Honestly? Scarier without.	1.3115	0.04073	183	134	41	8
474	I liked the one about the asteroid better.	1.3115	0.04288	183	137	35	11
475	And then...they all lost their scales and became...birds.	1.3111	0.04264	180	134	36	10
476	But the treasure room was empty, for the horde of coins was all crypto currency, and never real to begin with!	1.3111	0.04407	180	136	32	12
477	And the huge asteroid came hurtling down and killed everybody!	1.3111	0.04264	180	134	36	10
478	Attached to every light is a delicious grain fed human.	1.3111	0.04875	180	143	18	19
479	It's called a hot flash.	1.3111	0.04407	180	136	32	12
480	And she said: "Grandma, what big teeth you have!"	1.3107	0.04458	177	134	31	12
481	But the 'weather balloon' was..an...ASTEROID!	1.3107	0.04385	177	133	33	11
482	On a dark and stormy night, an asteroid the size of a titanosaurus turd hurling toward its fateful destiny with Earth…	1.3103	0.04655	174	134	26	14
483	I miss the old days when we just breathed fire.	1.3103	0.04206	174	128	38	8
484	And then Donald Trump was re-elected!	1.3103	0.04584	174	133	28	13
485	Then one night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more....	1.3102	0.04486	187	144	28	15
486	Don't do that. You look like a member of congress.	1.3102	0.04613	187	146	24	17
487	...A ...and then he said. “We’re the lucky ones. Asteroids never hit the same planet twice.”	1.3102	0.04222	187	140	36	11
488	and it had really long arms	1.3099	0.04857	171	134	21	16
489	Frankly not any scarier	1.3098	0.04268	184	138	35	11
490	Read my lips! Next winter in Florida!	1.3098	0.04198	184	137	37	10
491	So, have you heard all this global warming nonsense? I figure it's about as likely as getting hit by a meteor.	1.3095	0.04301	168	124	36	8
492	Your choice—scary stories or sing-along?	1.3091	0.04435	165	123	33	9
493	Woooooooh! I'm veeeeegaaaaan.	1.3091	0.06023	110	86	14	10
494	Do I look scary now?	1.3090	0.04364	178	134	33	11
495	You know your scary face looks a lot like your regular face.	1.3088	0.04156	204	155	35	14
496	And then... a SCARY ROCK FELL FROM THE SKY!	1.3086	0.04263	175	130	36	9
497	…and the comet came closer, and closer, and CLOSER!!!	1.3085	0.04591	188	147	24	17
498	Stop it with the scary stories Carl… we all know humans aren’t real.	1.3085	0.04466	188	145	28	15
499	And…. then the fleshy humans took over and destroyed themselves AND the planet!	1.3085	0.04466	188	145	28	15
500	And boom! A meteor wiped us out.	1.3081	0.04389	172	129	33	10
501	And now for my rendition of 'John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.'"	1.3081	0.04182	198	150	35	13
502	Lose the grin.	1.3077	0.04112	169	123	40	6
503	If you're so smart, which one of these three things will extinguish first ?	1.3073	0.04074	192	143	39	10
504	This is a nice fire those campers made. I wonder what scared them away?	1.3071	0.05535	127	99	17	11
505	... and everybody became oil and dildos and breast implants....	1.3067	0.04632	163	124	28	11
506	And then there was...another balloon!	1.3067	0.04632	163	124	28	11
507	And they drilled the rods through Timmy’s skull and bolted them to his thorax for docents to point at.	1.3065	0.04514	199	157	23	19
508	...and then, this big meteor fell from the sky...	1.3062	0.04691	160	122	27	11
509	Tell me the asteroid strory again.	1.3062	0.04691	160	122	27	11
510	Imagine a world where we’re extinct…	1.3060	0.04344	183	139	32	12
511	You jump up, turn it on and they all run away	1.3060	0.04059	183	135	40	8
512	Uncle G, tell me the one about your trip to Japan again?	1.3059	0.04723	170	132	24	14
513	...and then there was this great light in the sky, coming closer...and closer...	1.3054	0.04551	167	127	29	11
514	It was a dark and stormy night. The wedding bells had rung. The small hotel was cozy. And then I took off my makeup.	1.3054	0.04471	167	126	31	10
515	That is scary! When was the last time you saw a dentist?	1.3049	0.04608	164	125	28	11
516	And then the humans went extinct and there was nothing to eat!	1.3046	0.04422	174	132	31	11
517	Scary! For a second you looked like a human	1.3043	0.04497	161	121	31	9
518	…and an idiot will become the leader of the free world.	1.3043	0.04392	184	141	30	13
519	Everything else was edible.	1.3043	0.04113	184	137	38	9
520	Jeez Bob. Real Scary. It’s never enough with you is it?	1.3038	0.04279	158	116	36	6
521	Then one day it happened, Jackie Paper came no more!	1.3036	0.04758	168	131	23	14
522	...she fumbled for the flashlight as the door creaked open. It was him. The asteroid.	1.3034	0.04202	178	133	36	9
523	I just don't buy it, the likelihood of a asteroid hitting the planet is infinitesimal, it just doesn't scare me.	1.3034	0.04202	178	133	36	9
524	And then the humans discovered petroleum, and it was us!	1.3034	0.04350	178	135	32	11
525	It was a dark and scaly night…	1.3034	0.04350	178	135	32	11
526	Biiiirds, hee hee hee", cackled the wicked witch. "I'll evolve all of you into little birds.	1.3032	0.04517	188	147	25	16
527	And they lived happily ever after. In my belly.	1.3032	0.04257	188	143	33	12
528	And the meteor got closer... and closer...	1.3030	0.04663	165	127	26	12
529	Look what I found inside the food we just ate....pretty neat huh!	1.3030	0.04663	165	127	26	12
530	He was delicious and I like his toy!	1.3029	0.04325	175	132	33	10
531	Every scary story ends with you getting the flashlight.	1.3025	0.04298	162	120	35	7
532	[No Caption. Blank. This is funny, and any words added will just take away from the humor of it.}	1.3023	0.04747	172	135	22	15
533	Tell me again where did you find batteries for your flashlight?	1.3023	0.04527	172	132	28	12
534	It looks scarier when they do it	1.3021	0.04061	192	144	38	10
535	Kumbaya	1.3019	0.04439	159	119	32	8
536	and then they heard a ghostly voice say,'one more short armed joke and one of you is gonna get jur-ass kicked'!	1.3018	0.04180	169	125	37	7
537	So I tapped that cartographer on the shoulder, and just before I ate him I said, 'No, HERE be dragons!'"	1.3018	0.04880	169	134	19	16
538	Enough with the scary stories about these mythical "humans"	1.3017	0.04329	179	136	32	11
539	Let me guess—Jack Nicholson in The Shining?	1.3013	0.04933	156	122	21	13
540	No, that's true," I said, "but does this look to you like the face of a leaf eater?	1.3011	0.04524	176	136	27	13
541	...and then the stranger said: "WE TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!"	1.3011	0.04303	176	133	33	10
542	Boo! I'm Extinct!!	1.3011	0.04215	186	141	34	11
543	And now for some light relief.	1.3006	0.04363	163	122	33	8
544	Then, out of spite, DeSantis chooses PENCE as his running mate!	1.3006	0.04578	173	134	26	13
545	So when they tell you that climate change isn't real ...	1.3006	0.04352	173	131	32	10
546	That guy who invented fire really tasted good	1.3005	0.03907	193	143	42	8
547	Please Dad, I want to go back to the Equator.	1.3000	0.04590	160	122	28	10
548	Seriously, is there a raptor between my teeth?	1.3000	0.04235	180	136	34	10
549	See that just makes you look a lot older than you actually are.	1.3000	0.04590	160	122	28	10
550	Is there anybody stuck in my teeth?	1.2995	0.04298	197	153	29	15
551	65 million years ago, on a night just like tonight...	1.2994	0.04455	167	127	30	10
552	Have you heard the one about the cold-blooded campers?	1.2994	0.04088	157	114	39	4
553	And then he heard a knock at the cave door.	1.2994	0.04377	157	117	33	7
554	Eating a boy scout troop and campfire stories is not my idea of dinner and a show.!	1.2994	0.04649	157	120	27	10
555	...and then this big rock fell out of the sky and we all died!	1.2989	0.04699	174	137	22	15
556	Suddenly, an asteroid appeared...	1.2988	0.04592	164	126	27	11
557	I don't know. I ate the guy!	1.2987	0.04431	154	115	32	7
558	A Metoer? Ice Age? How do you come up with this stuff?	1.2987	0.05057	154	122	18	14
559	And the asteroid is right behind you now!	1.2986	0.04631	144	108	29	7
560	It was a dark and gloomy night, and I am wondering where the hell I got this flashlight."	1.2983	0.04287	181	138	32	11
561	And then the hideous golden haired, blue eyed, rosy cheeked little human peeked up from under the bed.	1.2982	0.04459	171	131	29	11
562	No, I'm not freaked out by your story. I'm freaked out about how you managed to get hold of a flashlight!	1.2982	0.04302	171	129	33	9
563	I hope you’re not going to tell me the one about the dragon with the hook for a hand again.	1.2982	0.04221	171	128	35	8
564	Now I’m thinking you should have just swallowed it along with the rest of him!	1.2981	0.04479	161	122	30	9
565	Wait, that's how you scared them?	1.2979	0.04176	188	143	34	11
566	Impressive, but can we barbecue a brontosaurus with it?	1.2975	0.03863	158	113	43	2
567	Which way is scarier, light on or off?	1.2975	0.04623	158	121	27	10
568	… and finally, after all the fire and brimstone and destruction has passed… a lowly MAMMAL will rise up to rule the earth !	1.2975	0.04710	158	122	25	11
569	It’s called Herbalife, and a spot just opened up on my team!	1.2975	0.04623	158	121	27	10
570	Then one night a star moved across the sky. It got bigger and bigger, closer and closer....	1.2974	0.04073	195	148	36	11
571	This story will make you pee your pants. Go put some on.	1.2971	0.03993	175	129	40	6
572	And then the asteroid got closer ....	1.2971	0.04309	175	133	32	10
573	And then she announced it was actually a plant-based meat substitute!	1.2971	0.04385	175	134	30	11
574	“You can’t scare me anymore. I’m old enough to know there’s no scary humans living under my bed!”	1.2968	0.04859	155	121	22	12
575	The sky went dark and in the sky a huge meteor streaked across the sky…and BAM!	1.2967	0.04407	182	141	28	13
576	This is not the honeymoon I expected !	1.2967	0.04267	182	139	32	11
577	...and after our bones are harvested by furless creatures, they will be sold for millions of dollars and put on display...	1.2965	0.04280	172	130	33	9
578	—and then they raised the Earth’s temperature by three degrees!	1.2961	0.04461	152	114	31	7
579	Where’d you get the batteries ?	1.2959	0.04489	169	130	28	11
580	At our age it is a luxury that we are able to sit around a fire as compared to breathing fire in our 20's.	1.2956	0.04932	159	126	19	14
581	Oh, honey! There are whitening strips for that problem now.	1.2955	0.04055	176	131	38	7
582	Look, I’m a human!	1.2952	0.04543	166	128	27	11
583	Scary? imagine millennia from now we'll be be contributing global warming.	1.2952	0.04380	166	126	31	9
584	And that’s when I realized, the boogyman was afraid of ME!	1.2949	0.04657	156	120	26	10
585	Whoa that was really scary, now tell the one you made up about the meteor	1.2945	0.04517	163	125	28	10
586	It was dark, I was hungry and they wanted a scary ending.	1.2941	0.05069	153	122	17	14
587	What the fuck are you doing?	1.2941	0.04984	153	121	19	13
588	That’s still not getting you on the Game of Thrones sequel.	1.2941	0.04532	153	116	29	8
589	Prophecy warns that a giant asteroid will fly towards the Earth. Ending life and triggering and UNHOLY APOCALYPSE! ! They'll call it: Mankind	1.2937	0.04573	160	123	27	10
590	One gray night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more And Puff, that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar . . .	1.2934	0.04599	167	130	25	12
591	My karaoke turn- """If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere!!....""	1.2934	0.04357	167	127	31	9
592	It was the ASTEROID!!!	1.2930	0.04167	157	116	36	5
593	What kind of sicko would go look at our skeletons in a museum?	1.2927	0.04323	164	124	32	8
594	Can you tell I've had them whitened?	1.2926	0.04363	188	147	27	14
595	In the year -66,000,000 BCE, or so, a giant asteroid will crash into the sea just off of Mexico. All of our family will be killed. Then humans will evolve and destroy the entire earth!	1.2926	0.04491	188	149	23	16
596	And that’s how the final season of Game of Thrones ended.	1.2926	0.04230	188	145	31	12
597	And then, hurtling through the sky came...creationism!	1.2925	0.04942	147	115	21	11
598	Yeah, yeah that's real spooky, but where the hell did you find the light thingy?	1.2925	0.04651	147	112	27	8
599	We can't wait for global warming to save us from extinction	1.2925	0.04651	147	112	27	8
600	Asteroids aren't actually real are they?	1.2924	0.04520	171	133	26	12
601	You nearly scared me to extinction.	1.2922	0.04411	154	116	31	7
602	...and then they all became fossils.	1.2919	0.04632	161	125	25	11
603	The Ice Age is about to hit and you want to sing?	1.2919	0.03905	161	117	41	3
604	And a big rock will fall into the sea, and the sky will grow dark, and we will all die.	1.2919	0.04374	161	122	31	8
605	There were screams, there was blood, there was gnashing of teeth and, after a loud belch, Papa proclaimed "good knight"	1.2919	0.04715	161	126	23	12
606	Just tweeze the little pesky ones under my chin.	1.2917	0.04496	168	130	27	11
607	Frank cut it out. We already ate them, do we have to play with their stuff too?	1.2917	0.04728	168	133	21	14
608	-In time I am convinced that it will warm up-	1.2914	0.03941	151	109	40	2
609	Go ahead! Tell me this doesn't make me look like Trump!	1.2914	0.04845	151	118	22	11
610	Worse, a rock.	1.2914	0.04466	151	114	30	7
611	Does THIS make you see me in a whole new light?	1.2914	0.04753	151	117	24	10
612	So... you're saying that the flashlight makes us scary?	1.2911	0.04517	158	121	28	9
613	Tell me a human story.	1.2909	0.04213	165	124	34	7
614	All right, Mr. Spielberg, I'm ready for my close-up.	1.2908	0.05185	141	112	17	12
615	And since Spielberg,we’ve been blamed for everything.	1.2905	0.04623	148	113	27	8
616	And they had watches made of apples!	1.2905	0.04913	148	116	21	11
617	Wait. What’s a comet?	1.2903	0.04574	155	119	27	9
618	Did you ask for extra batteries BEFORE you ate him?	1.2903	0.04665	155	120	25	10
619	Are we really ever ready for evolution?	1.2901	0.04523	162	125	27	10
620	They say an asteroid haunts these woods.	1.2901	0.04261	162	122	33	7
621	And then they put your skeleton on display.	1.2899	0.04472	169	131	27	11
622	Put that down, you look beastly.	1.2897	0.04685	145	111	26	8
623	And then...,and then, fire came from the sky, and everyone wished they'd have partaken of the cannabis plant instead of worrying about healthcare.	1.2893	0.04666	159	124	24	11
624	I'm in love with Jeff Goldblum.	1.2893	0.04218	159	119	34	6
625	You've got some camper in your teeth.	1.2892	0.04278	166	126	32	8
626	Now THAT's cold-blooded!	1.2892	0.04191	166	125	34	7
627	And then she said, "we've banned books about dragons."	1.2889	0.04131	180	137	34	9
628	And then these creatures collect our bones and display them for all to see	1.2885	0.04456	156	119	29	8
629	Enough with the scary games--lets open the marshmallows!	1.2885	0.04548	156	120	27	9
630	Am I too good looking to be scary?	1.2885	0.04727	156	122	23	11
631	And then, as if that’s not bad enough, those pesky little mammals took over the whole darn planet!	1.2885	0.04638	156	121	25	10
632	I haven't seen one of these since the dark ages.	1.2883	0.04056	163	121	37	5
633	I saw the people I ate doing this!	1.2882	0.04290	170	130	31	9
634	Tell me the one about the asteroid again.	1.2880	0.03995	184	139	37	8
635	It makes me look scarier, don’t you think?	1.2877	0.04856	146	114	22	10
636	And they were never seen again. Well, for 65 million years anyway.	1.2876	0.04789	153	120	22	11
637	And then the asteroid grew larger in the moonlit sky..,	1.2866	0.04523	157	121	27	9
638	Hate to say it, Jeff, but it makes you look less scary.	1.2866	0.04719	164	130	21	13
639	Do you realize that gimmick is as old as we are!!!	1.2865	0.04019	171	128	37	6
640	And then the ice slowly covered the entire planet!	1.2857	0.04096	147	108	36	3
641	And then he falls down the Empire State Building.	1.2857	0.04091	154	114	36	4
642	and then...the big corporations said climate change isn't real because the whole system was making them rich	1.2857	0.04399	168	130	28	10
643	Oh yea, that will definitively keep the bears away!	1.2857	0.04528	147	112	28	7
644	And then slowly,ever so slowly,the little human crawled down from above the bed,inching closer and closer.	1.2857	0.04558	168	132	24	12
645	Stop it. Everyone knows there’s no such thing as asteroids.	1.2848	0.04533	165	129	25	11
646	Don’t exhale… that’s my father’s good flashlight.	1.2847	0.04480	144	109	29	6
647	Save the battery,Manny! It’s not like you will get to eat another time traveller and take his flashlight.	1.2847	0.04993	144	114	19	11
648	George, you ARE the thing that goes bump in the night.	1.2847	0.04894	144	113	21	10
649	Pretty, scary, huh? You try it.	1.2846	0.04968	123	94	23	6
650	And there was nothing but MAMMALS everywhere she looked!	1.2840	0.04376	169	131	28	10
651	Why are these ALWAYS about St. George?	1.2840	0.04672	162	128	22	12
652	How's this for a ghost story, we all die, something called humans come about & create energy from our carcassed remains.	1.2839	0.04366	155	118	30	7
653	Ice age, dude—see my teeth chattering?	1.2838	0.04398	148	112	30	6
654	You know Rex, I think that's overkill. The campers found us plenty scary last night without it.	1.2838	0.04701	148	115	24	9
655	And then she killed them all. It was the damsel ALL ALONG!	1.2837	0.04861	141	110	22	9
656	And when the monster finally came out from under the bed, the little kid had grown up...and left home.	1.2837	0.04648	141	108	26	7
657	Does this light make me look more ferocious?	1.2837	0.04538	141	107	28	6
658	His name was George...Saint George."	1.2833	0.04115	180	138	33	9
659	Do I look like a monster?	1.2832	0.04381	173	135	27	11
660	He's purple and he sings children's songs	1.2830	0.04198	159	120	33	6
661	So, Saint George walks into a bar...	1.2828	0.04962	145	115	19	11
662	And then… there was a human in his closet!	1.2825	0.04310	177	138	28	11
663	But then Dianne Feinstein said, "I've decided not to retire after all!"	1.2822	0.04728	163	130	20	13
664	And then they burned our liquified bodies in their SUVs...	1.2821	0.04795	156	124	20	12
665	I don't get it.	1.2819	0.04769	149	117	22	10
666	Don't you just love being in the scouts?	1.2819	0.04673	149	116	24	9
667	Stop it. It makes you look monstrous.	1.2819	0.04475	149	114	28	7
668	See!? It makes me look scary.	1.2819	0.04575	149	115	26	8
669	I told you the humans would screw it up and we'd be back! And look what they left us!	1.2819	0.04373	149	113	30	6
670	Once upon a time, sixty-five million years ago...	1.2817	0.04831	142	111	22	9
671	And then the big cold came and …. Kaboom!!! we were gone !	1.2816	0.04359	174	136	27	11
672	It was a dark and stormy night, and some very scary humans were under my bed...	1.2812	0.04204	192	151	28	13
673	I'm still wondering how you started this fire.	1.2810	0.04770	153	121	21	11
674	An asteroid lands and wipes us all out, then these monsters make fuel from our bones and then joke about becoming a dinosaur!	1.2809	0.04434	178	141	24	13
675	No need for cosmetic surgery, you already look hot.	1.2808	0.05026	146	117	17	12
676	Cut it out Firebreath. You'll make me cough up the knight.	1.2806	0.05005	139	110	19	10
677	This was the only part of him I couldn't digest.	1.2803	0.04025	157	117	36	4
678	And they decided to make a sixth ‘Jurassic Park!’	1.2803	0.04412	157	121	28	8
679	I'm actually just trying to hand you the flashlight.	1.2800	0.04646	150	117	24	9
680	And then he said, I am the Ghost of Exxon Yet-To-Come.	1.2800	0.04549	150	116	26	8
681	Then he screamed and dropped this nifty gadget.	1.2800	0.04926	150	120	18	12
682	And then the meteorite streaked across the sky…	1.2797	0.05002	143	114	18	11
683	And then ... everything started to freeze over!	1.2794	0.04631	136	104	26	6
684	That's right! Two thumbs!	1.2794	0.04972	136	107	20	9
685	No, you don't look any scarier--for the millionth time.	1.2793	0.04118	179	138	32	9
686	What else did you find in the time capsule?	1.2792	0.04466	154	119	27	8
687	And the only marshmallows they could get were the little kind…	1.2792	0.04272	154	117	31	6
688	Turn that light off. I thought I saw something streak through the sky.	1.2788	0.04597	165	131	22	12
689	Kumbaya? I don’t think I know that one.	1.2786	0.04541	140	107	27	6
690	And that's why humans are afraid of the dark.	1.2785	0.04387	158	122	28	8
691	And the brave knight and the princess lived happily ever after!	1.2785	0.04199	158	120	32	6
692	And then- get this- they said the Earth was flat!	1.2781	0.04522	151	117	26	8
693	It was a dark and stormy night … 201.3 to 145 million years ago right here at this exact campsite . . .	1.2778	0.04312	162	125	29	8
694	. . . and that asteroid is hurtling through space toward us at this very moment.	1.2778	0.04131	162	123	33	6
695	I found it on the set of Jurassic Park.	1.2775	0.04208	173	134	30	9
696	Can you tell which ones are implants?	1.2774	0.04626	155	122	23	10
697	You have to go to my dentist.	1.2774	0.04441	155	120	27	8
698	Not scary enough? Ok fine: "Then a meteor crashed into the Earth and we all died." Satisfied?	1.2774	0.04345	155	119	29	7
699	And he was petrified!	1.2774	0.04534	155	121	25	9
700	And then a big rock came out of the sky and ...	1.2774	0.04345	155	119	29	7
701	Honestly, I cannot notice an overbite	1.2774	0.04940	137	108	20	9
702	I am such a "look at me" person...	1.2774	0.04717	137	106	24	7
703	How do you like my new teeth?	1.2774	0.04940	137	108	20	9
704	And then, the Governor of Florida outlawed teaching the theory of evolution from schools!	1.2770	0.04680	148	116	23	9
705	And when the dragons drove home, they found a bloody Starbucks cup hanging from the passenger’s side door handle.	1.2770	0.04580	148	115	25	8
706	...And they were all destroyed by a giant asteroid.	1.2767	0.04271	159	122	30	7
707	DYNO-Lite!	1.2766	0.04942	141	112	19	10
708	Now you can really see how much I need braces.	1.2766	0.04838	141	111	21	9
709	...and the fat, bald, human yells: "I'M HERE TO AUDIT YOUR TAX RETURNS!!!...	1.2763	0.04778	152	121	20	11
710	You're creeping me out, Rex.	1.2763	0.04592	152	119	24	9
711	And scariest of all — he had normal-length arms!	1.2761	0.04784	134	104	23	7
712	Tell me a spooky human story.	1.2761	0.04665	134	103	25	6
713	Then there was a giant drop in the stock market, leading to the extinction of the human race!	1.2761	0.04665	134	103	25	6
714	Honey, when is the last time you saw the dentist?	1.2761	0.04900	134	105	21	8
715	Just stop Lizzy, you're making me a nervous Rex.	1.2761	0.04109	163	124	33	6
716	Suddenly the HUGE ROCK ... HITS the Earth!	1.2761	0.04289	163	126	29	8
717	And they dug him up!	1.2756	0.04599	156	123	23	10
718	Do Dracula again.	1.2754	0.04799	138	108	22	8
719	Not amused, tell me you didn't forgot the marshmallows.	1.2754	0.04799	138	108	22	8
720	But then he discovered that none of the humans he ate were actually gluten-free.	1.2754	0.04908	138	109	20	9
721	Have you heard why they call it Camp Beowulf?	1.2752	0.04453	149	115	27	7
722	And then this comet struck the Yucatán just after we paid a non-refundable deposit at our resort in Cancun.	1.2752	0.04553	149	116	25	8
723	Use this to shine the light in their eyes. They will just stand there looking at the light and then you’ve got them!	1.2752	0.04349	149	114	29	6
724	Harry loved his birthday present - it really made his little face light up!	1.2752	0.04652	149	117	23	9
725	A scary campfire story? OK, it was a dark night just like this one when this asteroid...	1.2752	0.04136	149	112	33	4
726	Mr. Spielberg doesn't appreciate your horsing around on the set.	1.2752	0.04748	149	118	21	10
727	Stop goofing around. How many more beers are left in the cooler?	1.2750	0.04517	160	126	24	10
728	you're a monster. You're scarier in the dark.	1.2746	0.04808	142	112	21	9
729	Once upon a time, creatures called "humans" roamed the earth...	1.2746	0.04486	142	109	27	6
730	...but none of them believed the meteor would come!	1.2745	0.04273	153	117	30	6
731	Yeah it’s scary, but it shows your double chin.	1.2744	0.04604	164	131	21	12
732	Live from New York it’s Saturday night!!!	1.2744	0.04353	164	128	27	9
733	Forget asteroids. Gingivitis will probably kill us first.	1.2741	0.04635	135	104	25	6
734	I've been holding a torch for you for years Edna!	1.2741	0.04980	135	107	19	9
735	Wow! You look almost human!	1.2740	0.04294	146	111	30	5
736	And they were turned into petroleum jelly!	1.2740	0.04613	146	114	24	8
737	This next one might be a bit of a downer.	1.2739	0.04002	157	118	35	4
738	Tell me the one about the dust cloud that hides the sun.	1.2734	0.04544	139	107	26	6
739	Then these monkeys show up WALKING ON TWO LEGS!!	1.2733	0.04526	150	117	25	8
740	And the asteroid said: some day, when you least expect it, I'll be back!	1.2733	0.04526	150	117	25	8
741	Afterwards, there was nothing in the world to eat but broccoli!	1.2733	0.04405	161	126	26	9
742	And then it was revealed that there is actually a small, very uncomfortable Japanese man inside of me...	1.2727	0.04445	154	120	26	8
743	And some of them wore button flies!	1.2722	0.04458	158	124	25	9
744	Good Lord Dino. Get a teeth brightening session.	1.2721	0.04269	147	112	30	5
745	Where did you get the batteries from?	1.2721	0.04685	147	116	22	9
746	If you put this in your mouth they think you're breathing fire	1.2721	0.04585	147	115	24	8
747	And in the future we will all have evolved into chickens!	1.2721	0.04685	147	116	22	9
748	Listen to the chorus of the brontosaurus, la la la	1.2721	0.03970	136	100	35	1
749	And then he put pineapple right on the pizza!	1.2721	0.04836	136	107	21	8
750	I'm never trusting Tinder ever again...	1.2721	0.04947	136	108	19	9
751	I'm trying out for a Jurassic Park remake.	1.2716	0.04202	162	125	30	7
752	First they cut down the trees...then they build huge cities...	1.2714	0.04282	140	106	30	4
753	And then everyone shrunk and grew feathers. The end.	1.2710	0.04784	155	125	18	12
754	He could hear the human coming closer	1.2708	0.04645	144	113	23	8
755	‘St. George did what?”	1.2708	0.04645	144	113	23	8
756	But there's no such thing as monsters" believe what you want but I got a snack and a neat flashligh	1.2708	0.04645	144	113	23	8
757	You’ve always been the pretty one.	1.2708	0.04540	144	112	25	7
758	Do I have stegosaurus in my teeth?	1.2707	0.04417	133	101	28	4
759	Then the voice on the other end said, "Do you know what an asteroid is?" And the babysitter realized that the call was from the room upstairs!	1.2703	0.04244	148	113	30	5
760	And then another moon appeared in the sky, and it got closer and closer.	1.2703	0.04558	148	116	24	8
761	And despite using his fiercest roar and hottest breath, no one was afraid.	1.2699	0.04179	163	126	30	7
762	And they drive an hour each way to work, just to afford to do it again the next day.	1.2695	0.04599	141	110	24	7
763	Aren’t you extinct?	1.2695	0.04599	141	110	24	7
764	And then one day it happened Jackie Paper came no more…	1.2692	0.04579	156	124	22	10
765	When you smile it’s not scary, ok. Seriously, stop.	1.2692	0.04979	130	103	19	8
766	I don't think it's cancer but if you are really that concerned maybe you should go see a dermatologist...	1.2690	0.04720	145	115	21	9
767	Sure, Jim, you’re very scary.	1.2690	0.04512	145	113	25	7
768	Honestly? Boy scouts taste just like chicken.	1.2687	0.04873	134	106	20	8
769	I learned it on Facebook: shining a flashlight into your mouth really does make your teeth whiter!	1.2687	0.04389	134	102	28	4
770	You look better in the dark.	1.2687	0.04873	134	106	20	8
771	...And under his bed was a HUMAN CHILD	1.2687	0.04873	134	106	20	8
772	'Two minutes a day and I swear your teeth will get soooo white'	1.2687	0.04515	134	103	26	5
773	You're right! The new capped teeth look fabulous.	1.2685	0.04629	149	118	22	9
774	Just once I'd like to spend a romantic night by the fire without you acting like a child.	1.2685	0.04629	149	118	22	9
775	What's really scary is they think we're still extinct.	1.2681	0.04661	138	108	23	7
776	I call it “The Wheel”	1.2681	0.04773	138	109	21	8
777	Now I know why we don't do it with the lights on.	1.2680	0.04544	153	121	23	9
778	He tasted really good, and with this thing I can see to get another one.	1.2680	0.04544	153	121	23	9
779	Frank! You've got a piece of peasant stuck in your teeth.	1.2679	0.04261	168	132	27	9
780	Are there any bits of camper in my teeth?	1.2677	0.04802	127	99	22	6
781	Is there a vegan stuck in my teeth?	1.2677	0.05055	127	101	18	8
782	Someday, a million years from now, there will be a flashlight on your telephone.	1.2676	0.04679	142	112	22	8
783	And then our bones ended up in a place called a museum.	1.2671	0.04485	146	114	25	7
784	… and the asteroid came closer … closer …	1.2667	0.05278	135	111	12	12
785	And then he said, 'My, what big teeth you have!'	1.2667	0.04310	165	130	26	9
786	They screamed in horror: the man had no tail.	1.2667	0.04361	135	103	28	4
787	Batteries?	1.2662	0.04401	139	107	27	5
788	Once upon a time, humans roamed the earth...	1.2658	0.04437	158	125	24	9
789	…and then a gigantic asteroid crashed into planet Earth.	1.2657	0.04320	143	110	28	5
790	Hey, its only scary the first time.	1.2656	0.04638	128	99	24	5
791	Stop me if you've heard this one.	1.2656	0.04638	128	99	24	5
792	Watch how this flashlight makes my face look like a monster.	1.2656	0.04896	128	101	20	7
793	Don’t…That makes you look scarey	1.2654	0.04360	162	128	25	9
794	…and out of a dark cave this little pink creature, hairless and scaleless, carrying a pointy stick approaches…	1.2652	0.04545	132	102	25	5
795	…and in the morning there was a velociraptor’s talon hanging on the car door handle”	1.2652	0.04670	132	103	23	6
796	And then the human asked him if he had a moment to talk about his car’s extended warranty!	1.2652	0.05028	132	106	17	9
797	This is a crazy one! They say that one day an asteroid…	1.2649	0.04378	151	118	26	7
798	You promised you wouldn't do that asteroid stuff anymore!	1.2649	0.04275	151	117	28	6
799	Aren't I one handsome dude?	1.2645	0.04584	155	124	21	10
800	We found fire and flashlights and we are still camping?!	1.2645	0.04202	155	120	29	6
801	It was a bright and sunny day, and an entitled damsel was making a scene inside my cave when a vain jerk of a knight wandered by looking for trouble.	1.2643	0.04602	140	110	23	7
802	It was a dark and stormy Mesozoic night...	1.2643	0.04713	140	111	21	8
803	Pretend I'm a scary monster.	1.2643	0.04489	140	109	25	6
804	I'm practicing my carnivore look.	1.2640	0.04272	125	94	29	2
805	Sol!, I slaved over this fire and you had the batteries all along!	1.2640	0.04970	125	99	19	7
806	Wanna see something REALLY scary?	1.2640	0.04839	125	98	21	6
807	No, the guy who was carrying that is not stuck on your teeth.	1.2639	0.04725	144	115	20	9
808	And then the babysitter realizes the call is coming from inside the house."	1.2639	0.04515	144	113	24	7
809	And that’s how I met your father.	1.2636	0.04607	129	100	24	5
810	Do I look scary in this light?	1.2636	0.04862	129	102	20	7
811	You know what’s scary? Those gums! When was the last time you saw a dentist?!	1.2636	0.04607	129	100	24	5
812	Once upon a time, a tiny scale-less creature called 'man' roamed the earth.	1.2635	0.04431	148	116	25	7
813	? Come on baby light my fire ? "That's a flashlight, you idiot, not a microphone!!"	1.2635	0.04732	148	119	19	10
814	Yeah, looks like some pieces of medieval knight stuck between your teeth.	1.2632	0.04640	133	104	23	6
815	I don't know, some magic light. It was in my crap.	1.2632	0.04994	133	107	17	9
816	Let’s go find s’more people to eat.	1.2632	0.04761	133	105	21	7
817	Then the chivalrous knight, and the beautiful princess lived happily ever after!	1.2632	0.04251	152	118	28	6
818	‘Knock, knock, knock’— Nessie was sure it was the human again! Her indigestion increased and the remaining taste of the camper grew sour on her tongue…	1.2628	0.04889	137	110	18	9
819	Can you tell if I like butter?	1.2624	0.04346	141	109	27	5
820	Now that we have fire, electricity and opposed thumbs, we just need wheels and absolutely notking can stand in our way to ruling the earth.	1.2619	0.04805	126	99	21	6
821	'Let me enlighten you'	1.2619	0.04935	126	100	19	7
822	This next one's about the human under my bed!	1.2617	0.04507	149	118	23	8
823	I don't know, Frank, it comes off a little desperate.	1.2617	0.04507	149	118	23	8
824	Oooh, then the Princess said ‘do you have a job? My father wants to meet you.’	1.2615	0.04704	130	102	22	6
825	I’d grab that stupid torch off you if I had longer arms.	1.2615	0.04951	130	104	18	8
826	And then humans destroyed the earth with carbon emissions.	1.2615	0.04704	130	102	22	6
827	Please don't ruin this moment with one of your torch songs.	1.2615	0.04704	130	102	22	6
828	You’re scarier with it off!	1.2615	0.04443	130	100	26	4
829	You're so cold-blooded!	1.2614	0.04521	153	122	22	9
830	...and when he finally awoke, millions of years later, no one could hear his screams from inside the tank of a 1997 Dodge Neon.	1.2614	0.04327	153	120	26	7
831	...and then, I invented Facebook	1.2614	0.04425	153	121	24	8
832	And the operator said, "The call is coming is coming from inside your cave!"	1.2611	0.04253	157	123	27	7
833	That' awful. You look paleolithic!	1.2609	0.04363	161	128	24	9
834	Nobody ever believes how this ends.	1.2609	0.04519	138	108	24	6
835	And then a great big fireball flew down from the sky - and it came closer and closer and CLOSER and CLOSER AND CLOSER....... ...and it just missed us.	1.2606	0.04114	165	129	29	7
836	That's when my phone started ringing... from an UNKNOWN CALLER!	1.2606	0.04654	142	113	21	8
837	So when you said we were going to roast some friends, you meant comedically.	1.2602	0.05517	123	102	10	11
838	Do I have any human stuck in my teeth?	1.2601	0.04232	173	138	25	10
839	Susie suddenly realizes that the magic is gone...	1.2595	0.04917	131	105	18	8
840	And the meteor got closer and closer, until one day...	1.2595	0.04917	131	105	18	8
841	I chose Invisalign.	1.2593	0.04814	135	108	19	8
842	I think this makes me look a lot better than that ring light does	1.2593	0.04579	135	106	23	6
843	Grandma, what big teeth you have!	1.2590	0.04605	139	110	22	7
844	Maybe you should try comedy.	1.2590	0.04373	139	108	26	5
845	You should floss more	1.2590	0.04490	139	109	24	6
846	That is very cool, but what is your point?	1.2590	0.04605	139	110	22	7
847	Just look at all these reasons to become a dentist.	1.2590	0.04717	139	111	20	8
848	So, I says to my proctologist,you got anything for Ass-teroids?	1.2583	0.05090	120	96	17	7
849	And then the humans… CHECKED THEIR PHONES!	1.2583	0.04950	120	95	19	6
850	This light makes me look scary—right?	1.2583	0.04146	151	117	29	5
851	That’s amazing Herb, but I just wanted to know what time it was.	1.2581	0.04841	124	98	20	6
852	and out sprang...AN ARCHAEOLOGIST!	1.2581	0.04562	124	96	24	4
853	This gag is older than the Paleozoic, but it still gets laughs.	1.2578	0.04738	128	101	21	6
854	Once upon a time, toward a land not so far, far away, a gigantic fireball hurtled through the sky. The End.”	1.2578	0.04866	128	102	19	7
855	. . . and then this big ol' giant meteor comes flying out of the sky . . .	1.2578	0.04738	128	101	21	6
856	You’re not gonna tell the crazy story about the meteorite again are you?	1.2577	0.05135	97	75	19	3
857	Warm your toes and get a light up your nose, it’s Dino Hour baby!	1.2576	0.05115	132	108	14	10
858	Hey, cut it out, you're making my blood run colder.	1.2576	0.04641	132	104	22	6
859	He didn't taste good but at least he had a nice toy.	1.2576	0.05115	132	108	14	10
860	Ordinarily I would insist we are not monsters,but now I get it.	1.2574	0.04782	136	109	19	8
861	Okay, but I think you’re plenty scary without the gimmicks.	1.2574	0.04042	136	103	31	2
862	No! Not the one about the big meteor!	1.2569	0.04379	144	113	25	6
863	And even now,when you drive over that bridge,you can still hear the cries of the Brontosaurus’s girlfriend…	1.2566	0.04620	152	123	19	10
864	I know this film is on a tight budget, but is it too much to ask that we hire a lighting designer?	1.2566	0.04328	152	120	25	7
865	...but that wasn't the last time we saw Jimmy, oh no. He showed up 65 million years later, being used as fuel for a PT Cruiser!	1.2562	0.04914	121	96	19	6
866	Stop it! You’re scaring away our dinner.	1.2562	0.04625	121	94	23	4
867	And suddenly, a giant fireball appears in the sky	1.2562	0.04771	121	95	21	5
868	I’m scared of the dark	1.2562	0.04625	121	94	23	4
869	Check out my new dental implants!	1.2560	0.04939	125	100	18	7
870	It was a bright and sunny day…	1.2560	0.04530	125	97	24	4
871	One day the purple one will return and he will be called Barney.”	1.2560	0.04939	125	100	18	7
872	Those campers were stringy but it was worth it just to get their flashlight.	1.2560	0.05068	125	101	16	8
873	And then we were cloned and lived forever in a giant amusement park	1.2560	0.05194	125	102	14	9
874	I think I've got the lyrics. 'Come on baby, light my fire.'	1.2558	0.04705	129	102	21	6
875	It makes me look eons younger	1.2558	0.04575	129	101	23	5
876	Can't we just make the s'mores now?	1.2558	0.04575	129	101	23	5
877	Am I still extinct?	1.2558	0.04302	129	99	27	3
878	And then we all go extinct.	1.2558	0.04575	129	101	23	5
879	Is it me or is my night cream really working?	1.2558	0.04575	129	101	23	5
880	They say THE HUMAN still lurks in these woods	1.2556	0.04356	133	103	26	4
881	And poof! Up went Little Jackie Paper.	1.2556	0.04851	133	107	18	8
882	My granny told this one so here it goes once upon time there was a Diploceraspis living alone in a forest …	1.2556	0.04356	133	103	26	4
883	Do I have any time traveler in my teeth?	1.2556	0.04610	133	105	22	6
884	And then they made a SIXTH movie!!! With actors as old as us!!	1.2556	0.04223	133	102	28	3
885	'Well, that's an improvement."	1.2555	0.04751	137	110	19	8
886	And out popped...a late-stage capitalist society!	1.2555	0.04520	137	108	23	6
887	...iridocyclitis...	1.2555	0.04520	137	108	23	6
888	Save your breath. I have a flashlight.	1.2552	0.04567	145	116	21	8
889	...and thousands of chattering creatures swarm around macabre displays built from our bones!	1.2548	0.04418	157	126	22	9
890	Now that you've discovered fire, can I ditch this flashlight?	1.2542	0.04842	118	93	20	5
891	That's no pterodactyl" murmured Obi Wantosaurus, "it's an asteroid...	1.2541	0.04592	122	95	23	4
892	And then you didn’t eat the dentist?	1.2541	0.04878	122	97	19	6
893	And so once upon a time, there was this character named Scaredactyl....	1.2541	0.04878	122	97	19	6
894	That's good. Now see if you can make a growling sound.	1.2541	0.04125	122	92	29	1
895	And their museums were full of our bones!	1.2540	0.04904	126	101	18	7
896	Do you think my whitening strips are working?	1.2540	0.04904	126	101	18	7
897	He was giving a fireside chat, but I ate him anyway.	1.2540	0.04638	126	99	22	5
898	You need a shave.	1.2540	0.04772	126	100	20	6
899	Is there something stuck in my teeth?	1.2540	0.04207	126	96	28	2
900	And then I said, "time traveler, time schmaveler," right before I ate him.	1.2538	0.04922	130	105	17	8
901	Do you think my sagging neck is a sign of a coming disaster?	1.2538	0.04673	130	103	21	6
902	And when they shed their skin, it was George Santos!	1.2538	0.04922	130	105	17	8
903	And your blood will grease their machines!	1.2538	0.04799	130	104	19	7
904	And then ... creak, creak, creak .... down the stairs came ....Saint George!	1.2538	0.04544	130	102	23	5
905	All the light and none of the heat!	1.2538	0.04673	130	103	21	6
906	Heeeeeere's Jaxartosaurus!	1.2538	0.04673	130	103	21	6
907	And then St. George slowly pulled out his sword.	1.2537	0.04700	134	107	20	7
908	So, after smoking for twenty years his lungs were ruined and he couldn’t breathe fire anymore.	1.2537	0.05046	134	110	14	10
909	Mom said they yelled something about time travel before she ate ‘em.	1.2536	0.04607	138	110	21	7
910	Can you please repeat the part where you ate the humans?	1.2536	0.04607	138	110	21	7
911	Really? You took his flashlight too?	1.2536	0.04607	138	110	21	7
912	And then, a giant asteroid hits and everyone dies. Scary, huh?	1.2536	0.04831	138	112	17	9
913	An asteroid is coming to get you!... Har, har, har	1.2534	0.04326	146	115	25	6
914	Is that still stuck on my teeth?	1.2533	0.03922	150	115	32	3
915	...and a humongous meteor struck the Earth...	1.2531	0.04492	162	132	19	11
916	...and then after the meteor hits, and you're dead, your body decomposes under ground until it turns into sludge, and then it gets pumped up and consumed by fire in some weird way by warm-blooded creatures...	1.2530	0.04331	166	134	22	10
917	Loser lies in the amber!	1.2521	0.04656	119	93	22	4
918	They remove their skin everyday...	1.2521	0.04806	119	94	20	5
919	And then the little girl leaned over and looked under her bed!	1.2520	0.04559	123	96	23	4
920	Hey, can you see this zit on my chin?	1.2520	0.04996	127	103	16	8
921	...and where his claws should be, he had a big metal hook!	1.2519	0.05007	131	107	15	9
922	Do you think I can get by without flossing tonight?	1.2519	0.04549	135	107	22	6
923	This isn't what I had in mind for our anniversary,Carl.	1.2519	0.04900	135	110	16	9
924	The extinct stuff is starting to scare me	1.2519	0.04299	135	105	26	4
925	Okay with that lighting I see why they’re scared of us	1.2519	0.04169	135	104	28	3
926	OOH, They walked on TWO legs and had TWO arms! ........	1.2518	0.04800	139	113	17	9
927	Then, just before the end—a giant, menacing balloon floated ominously across the land...	1.2518	0.04690	139	112	19	8
928	The part about the asteroid slamming into the planet seems a little far-fetched.	1.2518	0.04577	139	111	21	7
929	And after he met Jackie, nobody saw him in Honalee ever again!	1.2517	0.04704	143	116	18	9
930	And then the meteor hit!	1.2500	0.04519	136	108	22	6
931	Not only was the asteroid on a collision course, but we had failed to establish a National Aeronautics and Space Administration and a DART spacecraft for planetary defense!”	1.2500	0.04915	120	96	18	6
932	You think this is scary! Let me tell you about an extinction event.	1.2500	0.04610	132	105	21	6
933	You look very scary, yes. Now can we please just enjoy the evening?	1.2500	0.04397	136	107	24	5
934	The dentist said I have the whitest teeth he had ever seen before I ate him.	1.2500	0.04879	116	92	19	5
935	You seem convinced the Invisalign is working.	1.2500	0.04771	120	95	20	5
936	What is the fire for?	1.2500	0.04573	128	101	22	5
937	And just when the pandemic subsided, a mysterious balloon that could wipe out an entire civilization was spotted in the sky above.	1.2500	0.04519	136	108	22	6
938	If the fire doesn't keep the humans away,we can defend ourselves with this human light saber..	1.2500	0.04462	144	115	22	7
939	once upon a time there was a human....	1.2500	0.04483	132	104	23	5
940	My mom said humans aren't real.	1.2500	0.04610	132	105	21	6
941	Mm? Yes, you’re very scary.	1.2500	0.04734	132	106	19	7
942	Flossing after meals. You should try it.	1.2483	0.04098	145	113	28	4
943	Stop scaring me! You look just like Ernest Borgnine!	1.2482	0.04608	137	110	20	7
944	And then, a future species takes over the earth, and they turn us into punchlines!	1.2482	0.04369	137	108	24	5
945	And then a great ball fell out of the sky, and the land burned, then turned to ice, and no more of us roamed the earth forevermore!	1.2481	0.04821	133	108	17	8
946	I'd stick with the breathing fire.	1.2481	0.04323	133	104	25	4
947	Do you want the one about the volcanoes or the asteroid?	1.2481	0.04453	133	105	23	5
948	And then I fought a double headed dragon and a giant moth but STILL did badly at the box office	1.2481	0.04579	133	106	21	6
949	And the villagers didn’t even panic. They just pulled out a big red canister with two words written across it…Fire Extinguisher.	1.2481	0.04673	129	103	20	6
950	Yeah, right. As if asteroids are real.	1.2481	0.04801	129	104	18	7
951	I think your face might be better suited for radio.	1.2481	0.04926	129	105	16	8
952	You're scary, but not as scary as those guys we just ate.	1.2481	0.04926	129	105	16	8
953	This is history's first fireside chat	1.2481	0.04542	129	102	22	5
954	Okay, first of all, what is a comet?	1.2480	0.04906	125	101	17	7
955	And then they’ll make a movie franchise about us and each new movie will be worse than the previous one.	1.2479	0.04736	121	96	20	5
956	And if the story I just told isn't true, may a meteor strike me dead!	1.2479	0.04277	121	93	26	2
957	And then after stabbing it and burning it, the little human ate the marshmallow.	1.2479	0.04879	121	97	18	6
958	Does holding this flashlight so close make me look extinct?	1.2479	0.04879	121	97	18	6
959	Then, after the meteor, arrive tiny, fleshy creatures who take over the world…	1.2479	0.04736	121	96	20	5
960	Stop it! I have fire dripping out my nose.	1.2479	0.05137	117	95	15	7
961	No way you look sixty-five million years old.	1.2479	0.04841	117	93	19	5
962	you've been watching too many Far Side cartoons..	1.2478	0.04954	113	90	18	5
963	No, you're scarier when you wake up in the morning	1.2478	0.04954	113	90	18	5
964	… and then the comet hit Flo-o-o-rida!	1.2466	0.04299	146	116	24	6
965	Then I ate all their s'mores.	1.2465	0.04490	142	114	21	7
966	Seriously Bob, where'd you get that thing?	1.2464	0.04217	138	108	26	4
967	I'm looking to increasing the wow factor.	1.2464	0.04692	138	112	18	8
968	Do you think he saurus?	1.2463	0.04670	134	108	19	7
969	And the there was this flash of light and we all disappeared.	1.2462	0.04891	130	106	16	8
970	Then he lands a job with a big insurance company and we haven't heard from him since	1.2462	0.04768	130	105	18	7
971	Great. You brought a flashlight, but forgot the shrooms.	1.2462	0.04377	130	102	24	4
972	Puff, I don't think scary stories are your thing. How about a story about your house by the sea?	1.2462	0.04891	130	106	16	8
973	The trump desantis debate	1.2462	0.05012	130	107	14	9
974	And then a huge rock appeared in the sky.	1.2460	0.04319	126	98	25	3
975	Hey, you promised Mom you wouldn't do that to me!	1.2460	0.04603	126	100	21	5
976	Then, the meteorite crushes into the Earth and we become extinct	1.2460	0.04739	126	101	19	6
977	And that's where dino nuggets come from.	1.2459	0.04701	122	97	20	5
978	And then there was a bright flash in the sky	1.2459	0.04843	122	98	18	6
979	The scary thing is all that nose hair. Ugh.	1.2459	0.04555	122	96	22	4
980	Bvxt ejlmn garrr milzwk pooooj* *Look what I found after we ate the last time traveller.	1.2458	0.04652	118	93	21	4
981	My turn, my turn.	1.2458	0.04805	118	94	19	5
982	And just like THAT! The little Boy Scout dropped his flashlight and went screaming into the woods, never to be heard from again.	1.2458	0.04493	118	92	23	3
983	You are so unfunny with that stupid grin. Try looking more dragon like and by the way you should brush.	1.2456	0.05071	114	92	16	6
984	You're frightening enough without special effects!	1.2450	0.04199	151	120	25	6
985	Oh, grow up! That's pathetically paleolithic.	1.2444	0.04518	135	108	21	6
986	Do I look as scared as the guy I ate to get this flashlight?	1.2443	0.04210	131	102	26	3
987	As I took his flashlight I told the boy "I thought your motto is 'be prepared.' You obviously aren't."	1.2443	0.04609	131	105	20	6
988	Grandpa, everyone knows there’s no such thing as meteorites.	1.2443	0.04977	131	108	14	9
989	And then they collected all of her bones and put them in a museum.	1.2443	0.04480	131	104	22	5
990	Here's a scary story for you! The Donald thinks he should be President again.	1.2443	0.04480	131	104	22	5
991	A human once told me this scary story about an asteroid that will kill us all. The human called himself “Time Traveler”. Anyway, that’s where I got this flashlight.	1.2441	0.04837	127	103	17	7
992	Before they went extinct, they invented a lot of things.	1.2441	0.05088	127	105	13	9
993	Yes, your dental implants are very nice.	1.2432	0.04473	111	86	23	2
994	Are you seriously telling me this torch will still be around in 65,000 millions years and we won't?	1.2432	0.05462	111	92	11	8
995	Goldimonster hesitated, then whispered, “my, what small teeth you have”.	1.2426	0.04489	136	109	21	6
996	...and then the accountant slowly looked up from his desk and said, 'TAX TIME'.	1.2424	0.04703	132	107	18	7
997	Well, it frightens Velociraptors	1.2424	0.04578	132	106	20	6
998	Can you look closer? I think it's a finger.	1.2424	0.04318	132	104	24	4
999	I don't know...an idiot with a flashlight lighting his own stupid face?	1.2424	0.04450	132	105	22	5
1000	So his vorpal blade went snicker-snak and I thought , hmmm, Snack!	1.2424	0.04824	132	108	16	8
1001	Then I said 'I could shoot someone on 5th Avenue or grab a woman by the pussy and stalk and physically menace and intimidate Hilary all over a small debate stage for close to 2 hours on live television and still get elected president. The End!	1.2422	0.04802	128	104	17	7
1002	In a thousand years there is a new species that destroys the entire planet	1.2422	0.04539	128	102	21	5
1003	Next is "The Legend of the La Brea Tar Pits	1.2422	0.04802	128	104	17	7
1004	Do I have any apex predator stuck in my teeth?	1.2422	0.04929	128	105	15	8
1005	They call him Puff!	1.2420	0.03980	157	124	28	5
1006	You're not scary. You just look stupid and you're wasting batteries.	1.2419	0.04908	124	101	16	7
1007	Quit messing around and pass me a beer	1.2419	0.04341	124	97	24	3
1008	You're really dragon this ghost story out, Phil.	1.2419	0.04633	124	99	20	5
1009	Those new lithium batteries work remarkably well	1.2417	0.04879	120	97	17	6
1010	It’s a flashlight. We can see at night without having to breath fire!	1.2417	0.04879	120	97	17	6
1011	The asteroid, nine miles wide, hurled quickly through space toward the Yucatán Peninsula…	1.2417	0.04733	120	96	19	5
1012	When I said lighten up I was referring to the excruciatingly dull conversation we were having.	1.2414	0.05140	116	95	14	7
1013	It makes you look scaly.	1.2414	0.04184	145	115	25	5
1014	And then everyone in Tokyo started firing missiles!	1.2414	0.04992	116	94	16	6
1015	And, then, a massive asteroid hit the earth.	1.2414	0.04184	145	115	25	5
1016	And then they realised, they weren’t in the Jurassic era at all.	1.2411	0.04438	112	87	23	2
1017	And then...there came an asteroid!	1.2411	0.05267	112	92	13	7
1018	You look positively prehistoric!	1.2411	0.05112	112	91	15	6
1019	The call is coming from inside the cave!	1.2409	0.04459	137	110	21	6
1020	So it’s not You’re So Vain. Is it You Light Up My Life	1.2406	0.04547	133	107	20	6
1021	Marge,you have to try this new exfoliant. Only 2 weeks and I’m smooth as a Hermes pocketbook.	1.2406	0.04547	133	107	20	6
1022	My mom always told me to smile even when I'm telling ghost stories.	1.2406	0.04289	133	105	24	4
1023	And the eerie voice in the dark screeched, you will be fossil fuuueeel!	1.2406	0.04791	133	109	16	8
1024	And that’s when they saw the asteroid	1.2403	0.04508	129	103	21	5
1025	Next, they turned us into fuel!	1.2403	0.04085	129	100	27	2
1026	You look as scary as a Boy Scout.	1.2403	0.04640	129	104	19	6
1027	Don't be afraid, it's still me; the same attractive, fun-loving guy you always knew.	1.2403	0.04508	129	103	21	5
1028	C’Mon baby, light my fi-i-ire!	1.2403	0.04508	129	103	21	5
1029	It’s my time to shine.	1.2400	0.04600	125	100	20	5
1030	Be honest, don't I look scary?	1.2400	0.05003	125	103	14	8
1031	…And after that, the land will be covered by millions of tiny little creatures barely the size of your toenail who will dig you up and burn your remains to power unimaginable machines that fly across the sky.	1.2397	0.04486	146	119	19	8
1032	Good thing humans aren't real	1.2397	0.04549	121	96	21	4
1033	No, Wait! It was the Governor of Florida AND Texas!	1.2397	0.04698	121	97	19	5
1034	Any broccoli in my teeth?	1.2397	0.04983	121	99	15	7
1035	No, I can't see any chives.	1.2397	0.04549	121	96	21	4
1036	Ready to tell scary human stories?	1.2397	0.04236	121	94	25	2
1037	And then, all the dinosaurs became vegans!	1.2397	0.05119	121	100	13	8
1038	It's showtime! Another chilla thrilla from Godzilla!	1.2394	0.04680	142	117	16	9
1039	And then a gigantic ball of fire falls from the sky destroying all life! Bwahahahaha!	1.2393	0.04802	117	94	18	5
1040	Do I have anything stuck in my teeth?	1.2393	0.04802	117	94	18	5
1041	And 65 million years later, his bones were still on display for all to see...	1.2393	0.04646	117	93	20	4
1042	... but the pizza had PINEAPPLE on it!	1.2393	0.04646	117	93	20	4
1043	... but in fact, the meteor was heading right for them, and everything, everything they cherished would ...	1.2391	0.04548	138	112	19	7
1044	Scary Dragon Stories after a late Knight supper.	1.2389	0.04749	113	90	19	4
1045	The humans consumed more and more atop the giant bed. Our family cringed beneath as the box springs started snapping.	1.2389	0.04913	113	91	17	5
1046	Here’s bronny	1.2389	0.04749	113	90	19	4
1047	This is not the way to impress a girl on a first date!	1.2389	0.05225	113	93	13	7
1048	...and then a giant meteor came down and wiped out everyone and everything except this really weird 2 legged species that didn't even have a tail, called humans! Just kidding!	1.2388	0.04517	134	108	20	6
1049	Is this thing on?	1.2385	0.05031	109	88	16	5
1050	And in the future, our future descendants eggs will become wildly expensive.	1.2385	0.04859	109	87	18	4
1051	I hate camping.	1.2385	0.04859	109	87	18	4
1052	I think we should get a divorce.	1.2385	0.05197	109	89	14	6
1053	Not sure how, but last time this was on my face, there was dinner on the other end.	1.2385	0.05031	109	88	16	5
1054	His bones were dug up by hairless monkeys, and displayed for educational amusement.	1.2385	0.04681	109	86	20	3
1055	No, these monsters were...preHERstoric!	1.2385	0.05358	109	90	12	7
1056	OMG, you almost looked human for a minute!	1.2385	0.04477	130	104	21	5
1057	And then the monster screamed when the human came out from under the bed . . .	1.2385	0.04477	130	104	21	5
1058	And then there was ANOTHER rate hike.	1.2385	0.04736	130	106	17	7
1059	Tell the part about the meteor again.	1.2385	0.04477	130	104	21	5
1060	...and if you look on top of your bed, you may just see a human lurking there...	1.2385	0.04860	130	107	15	8
1061	Naah, doesn’t help….	1.2385	0.04477	130	104	21	5
1062	Once upon a time, huge dinosaurs roamed the earth.	1.2381	0.04567	126	101	20	5
1063	And then the woman use their skin as a belt.	1.2381	0.05093	126	105	12	9
1064	Stop! I’ll have nightmares!	1.2381	0.04567	126	101	20	5
1065	And the knocking was coming from inside his ... stomach!	1.2381	0.04567	126	101	20	5
1066	Ugh, not that meteor story again!	1.2381	0.04426	126	100	22	4
1067	And as he came for us, he whispered, "It's a-me, Mario!"	1.2377	0.04664	122	98	19	5
1068	Enough already! Break out the s’mores!	1.2377	0.04807	122	99	17	6
1069	They displayed his body on a museum!	1.2377	0.04946	122	100	15	7
1070	I'm telling you. Hairless apes are real!	1.2377	0.04664	122	98	19	5
1071	Then suddenly, a giant rock from outer space came whizzing towards them...	1.2374	0.04633	139	114	17	8
1072	Is that it?	1.2373	0.04915	118	96	16	6
1073	Frightening, eh?	1.2373	0.04766	118	95	18	5
1074	Did I tell you about my visit to Tokyo?	1.2373	0.04286	118	92	24	2
1075	Turn that off! The counselor's going to see it	1.2373	0.05061	118	97	14	7
1076	NOT ONLY A GREAT LUNCH, BUT I GOT THIS AS WELL!	1.2370	0.04727	135	111	16	8
1077	Do I have some camper stuck in my teeth?	1.2366	0.04174	131	103	25	3
1078	And thennnnnn..... they all went EXTINCT!	1.2366	0.04576	131	106	19	6
1079	And then the humans showed up.	1.2366	0.04826	131	108	15	8
1080	Sorry, but I don’t find this quite as romantic as you do.	1.2366	0.04703	131	107	17	7
1081	What—my dental hygiene isn’t scary enough?	1.2364	0.05154	110	90	14	6
1082	Read my lips, you forgot the marshfellows.	1.2364	0.04990	110	89	16	5
1083	Welcome to open air mike night !	1.2364	0.05154	110	90	14	6
1084	Yes, but moonlight becomes you.	1.2364	0.04990	110	89	16	5
1085	I dunno, Jerry, I think it accentuates your underbite.	1.2362	0.04803	127	104	16	7
1086	It was a night like this. A meteorite blazed through the sky.	1.2358	0.04483	123	98	21	4
1087	Damn! You look like a dragon!	1.2358	0.04483	123	98	21	4
1088	Then they hung up his bones in a museum!	1.2358	0.04630	123	99	19	5
1089	Oww! It makes you look lie a scary monster!	1.2357	0.04821	140	117	13	10
1090	And that is why you check for any meteors under your bed before you go to sleep	1.2357	0.04132	140	111	25	4
1091	I'll miss you when you take your show to Broadway	1.2353	0.04418	119	94	22	3
1092	Start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same. Then you’ll have a match.	1.2353	0.04333	136	109	22	5
1093	By the time that's popular, we'll be extinct.	1.2353	0.04730	119	96	18	5
1094	Here I am, the light of your life.	1.2353	0.04878	119	97	16	6
1095	Look for the ones doing this. They’re old and slower but still tasty.	1.2353	0.04577	119	95	20	4
1096	And then this purple dinosaur would sing, 'I love you, you love me...'"	1.2353	0.04730	119	96	18	5
1097	...and then a big giant flaming rock came down and destroyed everything.	1.2348	0.04545	132	107	19	6
1098	Must you always do that when you get to the "you slay me" part of the story?	1.2348	0.04146	132	104	25	3
1099	…and then a giant meteor came whirling down…	1.2348	0.04670	132	108	17	7
1100	Am I getting feathers under my chin?	1.2348	0.04793	132	109	15	8
1101	And then, BOOM, the asteroid hits! Don't worry it's just a campfire story.	1.2348	0.04836	115	93	17	5
1102	Fire is old school Reggie! The future is calling… come on and light up	1.2348	0.04510	115	91	21	3
1103	Do you think it makes me look scary?	1.2344	0.04221	128	101	24	3
1104	And they were all turned into this thing called OIL.	1.2344	0.04638	128	104	18	6
1105	Do I look more scary?	1.2344	0.04365	128	102	22	4
1106	Don’t you think this makes me look more ferocious?!	1.2344	0.04503	128	103	20	5
1107	And then they asked, "What's an asteroid?"	1.2342	0.04949	111	90	16	5
1108	OMG! It makes you look human!	1.2342	0.04949	111	90	16	5
1109	You bet Jur-ass-ic it’s cold out here!	1.2342	0.05270	111	92	12	7
1110	Sure beats breathing fire.	1.2339	0.04596	124	100	19	5
1111	Then big rock fall from sky	1.2339	0.04451	124	99	21	4
1112	He dropped it just before I ate him.	1.2339	0.04596	124	100	19	5
1113	Does this thing on my nose look pre-cancerous?	1.2336	0.04710	107	85	19	3
1114	Light my fire, light my fire.	1.2336	0.05241	107	88	13	6
1115	OOOOOOOO! When you do that it makes you look like a monster.	1.2336	0.04664	137	113	16	8
1116	Enough with the stupid human tricks !	1.2333	0.04841	120	98	16	6
1117	It was a bright and sunny morning…	1.2333	0.04694	120	97	18	5
1118	And the scary small mammal said...	1.2331	0.03977	133	104	27	2
1119	And THEN a huge ROCK fell out of the Sky, and we all disappeared.	1.2331	0.04639	133	109	17	7
1120	Don't my new veneers look good, Sheryl?	1.2331	0.04514	133	108	19	6
1121	And then a giant meteor hit the earth and blew us out of existence!	1.2328	0.04640	116	93	19	4
1122	Is there any marshmallow in my teeth?	1.2328	0.04640	116	93	19	4
1123	And then a big rock fell out of the sky.	1.2326	0.04193	129	102	24	3
1124	And then they’ll make boots out of your skin and two step to Taylor Swift.	1.2326	0.04472	129	104	20	5
1125	…until the effects of climate change became irreversible.	1.2326	0.04335	129	103	22	4
1126	Can we stop telling warm and fuzzy stories?	1.2326	0.04606	129	105	18	6
1127	Can we skip to Kum-Ba-Ya?	1.2326	0.04472	129	104	20	5
1128	We'll thank them for inventing it, then all bets are off!	1.2326	0.04735	129	106	16	7
1129	I hear there's humans in these woods!	1.2321	0.04390	112	88	22	2
1130	They say it's more flattering than natural lighting.	1.2321	0.04570	112	89	20	3
1131	Man, that really makes you look wierd!	1.2321	0.05071	112	92	14	6
1132	And when I thought the date was a success she said: your fangs are so big I can see what you ate last week	1.2321	0.04909	112	91	16	5
1133	Ha! C'mon Jerry! We all know there's no such thing as an extinction level fireball falling from the sky.	1.2320	0.04419	125	100	21	4
1134	I promise, nothing is stuck in your teeth!	1.2320	0.04563	125	101	19	5
1135	Yes, that should scare away any wild animals.	1.2320	0.04563	125	101	19	5
1136	With my looks and your brains, we are here to stay.	1.2320	0.04702	125	102	17	6
1137	And they just kept making sequel, after sequel, after sequel!	1.2320	0.04271	125	99	23	3
1138	Yup, it's just a piece of spinach.	1.2320	0.04837	125	103	15	7
1139	This one's about how we were all killed by climate change.	1.2319	0.04633	138	114	16	8
1140	And then Elon Musk said, "I'm going to do a Twitter poll and let the Internet decide."	1.2315	0.04853	108	87	17	4
1141	Your reptilian sense of humor. That's what scares me.	1.2315	0.05197	108	89	13	6
1142	And then in the middle of the night when everyone was sleeping, a gigantic comet came and killed all of us. Sleep tight!	1.2315	0.04482	108	85	21	2
1143	Never mind where I got the light and listen to the story.	1.2315	0.05197	108	89	13	6
1144	Now do I look scary?	1.2315	0.04671	108	86	19	3
1145	and it had orange hairs on top of its head.	1.2315	0.04671	108	86	19	3
1146	You done with that torch? - I’m kinda gettin’ cold here	1.2315	0.04671	108	86	19	3
1147	...and then. as all the little lizards were going to sleep, after looking under their beds, a giant monster rock appeared in the sky!	1.2314	0.04509	121	97	20	4
1148	And then Satan will scatter your bones across the earth to fool believers.	1.2314	0.04354	121	96	22	3
1149	Maybe seeing me in a new light will increase my Tik Tok following.	1.2314	0.04805	121	99	16	6
1150	Then, in the well-lit room, he heard a sound from something not under the bed.	1.2313	0.04484	134	109	19	6
1151	Stop quibbling about opposing thumbs and focus on the story, or so help me I'll tear you to pieces!	1.2308	0.04702	130	107	16	7
1152	Can’t we have a campfire without you scaring the crap out of me?	1.2308	0.04970	104	84	16	4
1153	Turn it off, I know what you look like.	1.2308	0.04779	104	83	18	3
1154	For me? fusion cuisine is mixing up leftovers and hoping for a miracle.	1.2308	0.04970	104	84	16	4
1155	And that's what a museum is.	1.2308	0.04604	117	94	19	4
1156	Where did you get a flashlight?	1.2308	0.04604	117	94	19	4
1157	So when did this change from being a rally to being an intimate gathering?	1.2308	0.04970	104	84	16	4
1158	Save the batteries. It	1.2308	0.04914	117	96	15	6
1159	Leyend has it a rock from the sky will be our doom	1.2308	0.04761	117	95	17	5
1160	And then they all turned into birds!	1.2308	0.05155	104	85	14	5
1161	This one is guaranteed to give you knightmares.	1.2302	0.04388	126	101	21	4
1162	NOOOO, why do we have to always die from a comet at the end of your stories?!	1.2302	0.05060	126	106	11	9
1163	And I say we call them “Dino-S’mores”	1.2301	0.04705	113	91	18	4
1164	And then the human uses dramatic uplighting to look even more hideous.	1.2301	0.04705	113	91	18	4
1165	And 40 million years later,they dig up our bones and put them in a museum.	1.2301	0.04870	113	92	16	5
1166	And then the children would eat small dinosaur shaped chicken, rip the heads off, and dip it in KETCHUP!!	1.2301	0.04534	113	90	20	3
1167	Do you think our costumes will keep the bears away?	1.2296	0.04454	135	110	19	6
1168	And then the star started to get bigger and bigger...	1.2296	0.04576	135	111	17	7
1169	That actually makes you LESS scary.	1.2295	0.04476	122	98	20	4
1170	And then, from out of deep, dark outer space, came a meteor!	1.2295	0.04625	122	99	18	5
1171	The fire is dying. Your turn to breath on it.	1.2295	0.04476	122	98	20	4
1172	Ah, I see the problem now….your molars are impacted.	1.2295	0.04322	122	97	22	3
1173	But they said it was just a weather balloon!	1.2295	0.04769	122	100	16	6
1174	Narrow it down for me. Karloff or Lugosi?	1.2294	0.04813	109	88	17	4
1175	Too bad we couldn't use their sleeping bags.	1.2294	0.04813	109	88	17	4
1176	Don’t worry it doesn’t use a lithium battery.	1.2294	0.04813	109	88	17	4
1177	Then they made tiny pieces of chicken into shapes of us!	1.2290	0.04275	131	105	22	4
1178	Oooh! You look just like those critters we're having for dinner.	1.2288	0.04569	118	95	19	4
1179	…and climbing the tower was a giant gorilla!	1.2288	0.04408	118	94	21	3
1180	it shines but doesn't burn	1.2288	0.04240	118	93	23	2
1181	And then a mere 165 million years later, all the dinosaurs were... GONE.	1.2286	0.05286	105	87	12	6
1182	Then this Boy-scout tried to sneak up on me… ridiculous right ?	1.2286	0.04222	140	113	22	5
1183	And to the ground we will go! For eternity, we will be crushed under rock! Only to be freed and then burned! The end. Do we have 'smores?	1.2286	0.05110	105	86	14	5
1184	Sorry, but you just don't look scary.	1.2286	0.04928	105	85	16	4
1185	Too human, too human!	1.2283	0.04211	127	101	23	3
1186	What is a meteor again?	1.2283	0.04498	127	103	19	5
1187	I can't wait till someone invents dental floss!	1.2281	0.04499	114	91	20	3
1188	And then,this ginormous asteroid was hurling towards Earth……	1.2281	0.05143	114	95	12	7
1189	Do I have a fern stuck in my teeth?	1.2279	0.04545	136	112	17	7
1190	And then…Steven Spielberg and a camera crew showed up..	1.2279	0.04664	136	113	15	8
1191	I'm scared. Show me the bunny rabbit.	1.2279	0.04424	136	111	19	6
1192	And then, a palaeontologist shot out from the woods!	1.2276	0.04591	123	100	18	5
1193	And then he turned around and revealed OPPOSABLE THUMBS!	1.2276	0.04443	123	99	20	4
1194	It was a calm and sunny day...	1.2273	0.04410	110	87	21	2
1195	Sorry, I know we are Dinosaurs, but don’t you know anything past 1981?	1.2273	0.04773	110	89	17	4
1196	All light and no smoke.	1.2273	0.04945	110	90	15	5
1197	Are you sure these costumes are flame retardant?	1.2269	0.04535	119	96	19	4
1198	Tell me the one about the comet hitting the earth again.	1.2269	0.04839	119	98	15	6
1199	And suddenly, in the dark, appeared a knight in shining armor.	1.2269	0.04689	119	97	17	5
1200	And suddenly there was this loud angry shriek from the back of the room. Shaken to their core, the people turned to look in the direction of the hideous sound and saw Marjorie Taylor Greene.	1.2269	0.04984	119	99	13	7
1201	"I'll tell you the scariest story of all time. It starts with humans..."	1.2266	0.04602	128	105	17	6
1202	The monster had warm blood, fur and its offspring came out of it ALIVE!	1.2266	0.04602	128	105	17	6
1203	I agree already, it’s time for a little “nip and tuck”	1.2266	0.04466	128	104	19	5
1204	…and then a huge meteor crashed into the planet!	1.2266	0.04734	128	106	15	7
1205	and you try to catch the humans, but THEY’RE IN JEEPS!	1.2266	0.04327	128	103	21	4
1206	Then, just as the knight approached, the princess started making wild accusations!	1.2264	0.05409	106	89	10	7
1207	They roamed the earth, threatening anyone who got in their way--and then made up stories about us doing that.	1.2263	0.04633	137	114	15	8
1208	It’s fire to go.	1.2261	0.04631	115	93	18	4
1209	What a find! That belongs in a Museum.	1.2261	0.04950	115	95	14	6
1210	You light up my life...	1.2261	0.04950	115	95	14	6
1211	It was ten miles wide and hurtling through space...	1.2261	0.04464	115	92	20	3
1212	But it wasn't a shooting star at all!	1.2261	0.04793	115	94	16	5
1213	And it was then that she saw a sharp, metal hook hanging from the car's door handle!	1.2261	0.04631	115	93	18	4
1214	Look at me. Don’t look up!	1.2261	0.04631	115	93	18	4
1215	And then the meteor hits and we all go extinct!	1.2261	0.04950	115	95	14	6
1216	Beavis and Butthead - The Prequel.	1.2258	0.04699	124	102	16	6
1217	No, I don't see anything, but I hate it when those princes get stuck in your teeth.	1.2258	0.04411	124	100	20	4
1218	I learned it from some boy scouts I was staking out,	1.2256	0.04351	133	108	20	5
1219	I get slapstick but not irony.	1.2255	0.04808	102	82	17	3
1220	. . . and then BOOM! We get wiped-out by a meteor. How crazy is that?	1.2255	0.05006	102	83	15	4
1221	But the campers had all covered themselves… with cilantro!	1.2255	0.05557	102	86	9	7
1222	They called it "meteorite".	1.2254	0.04168	142	115	22	5
1223	Can you lipread me now?	1.2252	0.04904	111	91	15	5
1224	Slowly, the asteroid crept closer... and closer... and closer...	1.2252	0.04904	111	91	15	5
1225	Look, it’s something to do until the Ice Age passes.	1.2252	0.04904	111	91	15	5
1226	Do you see any Boyscout in my teeth?	1.2252	0.04735	111	90	17	4
1227	Oh my God you're right. You do look like Godzilla.	1.2250	0.04802	120	99	15	6
1228	.........and then they took over the House and the Senate.	1.2250	0.04945	120	100	13	7
1229	And then kids will be obsessed with us and put our images on their clothes	1.2250	0.04654	120	98	17	5
1230	Stop pretending to be a human, you‘re scaring me	1.2250	0.04802	120	99	15	6
1231	Closer and closer came the gigantic asteroid as it hurtled through space at thousands of miles per hour...	1.2250	0.04654	120	98	17	5
1232	I wonder how many people will know or remember that we discovered fire and invented flashlights.	1.2250	0.04945	120	100	13	7
1233	But this Knight didn't just slay, he slayed all day.	1.2250	0.04501	120	97	19	4
1234	And he was doing this right before I ate him and the kid.	1.2250	0.04945	120	100	13	7
1235	Oh stop it! That makes you look like a monster!	1.2250	0.04501	120	97	19	4
1236	You don't need a flashlight for the asteroid story..	1.2243	0.05023	107	88	14	5
1237	Do I have any people stuck in my teeth?	1.2243	0.05023	107	88	14	5
1238	And then he realized “corporate restructuring” meant extinction	1.2243	0.05196	107	89	12	6
1239	Every summer, those Cub Scouts return to haunt these woods.	1.2241	0.04596	116	94	18	4
1240	Then the Stegosaurus said, ‘Flashlights haven’t been invented yet!’	1.2241	0.04429	116	93	20	3
1241	And when the dad checked under the bed, there was a scary human hiding there!	1.2241	0.04257	116	92	22	2
1242	And the giant meteor kept getting closer and closer...	1.2241	0.04756	116	95	16	5
1243	And then, the humans came to eat us.	1.2241	0.04596	116	94	18	4
1244	And then they took his DNA and made him a theme park!	1.2241	0.04596	116	94	18	4
1245	And then the mammals came!	1.2240	0.04074	125	99	24	2
1246	I AM being honest. I don't see any new hairs, Shelley.	1.2240	0.04665	125	103	16	6
1247	Come on baby, light my fire.	1.2239	0.04054	134	107	24	3
1248	And thousands of Neanderthals each with spears and yelling "kill, kill, kill," surrounded the terror-filled T-Rex.	1.2233	0.05150	103	85	13	5
1249	They made a movie of grandpa attacking Tokyo, but because he wasn't a SAG member, they didn't even pay him scale.	1.2233	0.05150	103	85	13	5
1250	''Sorry honey but I'm pretty sure the smoke is from the fire, not your nostrils''	1.2233	0.04766	103	83	17	3
1251	Forget the asteroid. I’ll tell you something REALLY scary!	1.2232	0.04865	112	92	15	5
1252	Don't look now but your feet are beginning to smoke.	1.2232	0.04696	112	91	17	4
1253	I know flossing is scary, but look at the results!	1.2232	0.05185	112	94	11	7
1254	Don’t worry! Humans aren’t real.	1.2232	0.05027	112	93	13	6
1255	I prefer the light of the silvery moon	1.2231	0.04766	121	100	15	6
1256	And after the deadly asteroid laid waste to the earth, the largest animals left alive were a bunch of disgusting little tree shrews!	1.2231	0.04467	121	98	19	4
1257	Come on, man! Too scary!	1.2231	0.04467	121	98	19	4
1258	No, I don't see any shoelaces caught between your teeth.	1.2231	0.04766	121	100	15	6
1259	Then Jeff Goldblum comes back and he’s still going on about chaos theory.	1.2231	0.04667	130	108	15	7
1260	What are you going to do once you burn out the batteries in that thing?	1.2231	0.04267	130	105	21	4
1261	And then the baby sprang out from under the bed with a blood-curdling shriek!	1.2230	0.04090	139	112	23	4
1262	I thought it funny too, but on humans it has the opposite effect	1.2222	0.04881	99	80	16	3
1263	No, these weren't normal campers - They were glampers and the rules didn't apply them!	1.2222	0.04766	126	105	14	7
1264	I would be a better storyteller but I have tendency to dragon.” R.Weingast New York, N.Y.	1.2222	0.04981	108	89	14	5
1265	Botox, really Shirley? You look fantastic!	1.2222	0.05087	99	81	14	4
1266	It was a dark and stormy night and the Boy Scouts had become lost in the woods with only a flashlight to guide them. When suddenly their beam of light flashed on ,,,,ME!	1.2222	0.04620	108	87	18	3
1267	Wow! Dry feet AND night vision.	1.2222	0.04293	135	110	20	5
1268	If you think you are scaring me, you are wrong.	1.2222	0.05663	99	84	8	7
1269	It was a dark and meteor showery night	1.2222	0.04873	117	97	14	6
1270	And then it got reeeeally cold.	1.2222	0.04873	117	97	14	6
1271	And after is was all over and everyone thought they could finally relax, there came ...THE PREQUEL!	1.2222	0.04631	126	104	16	6
1272	'Pays to floss your teeth, eh?	1.2222	0.04873	117	97	14	6
1273	This is my scary human face!	1.2222	0.04396	117	94	20	3
1274	I don’t care what the dentist told you….you Don’t Need Braces!	1.2222	0.04560	117	95	18	4
1275	And the batteries are rechargeable, and I’m guessing you can probably eat them, too.”	1.2222	0.04620	108	87	18	3
1276	Did you floss?	1.2222	0.05286	99	82	12	5
1277	Almost makes me look scary, huh?	1.2222	0.04348	126	102	20	4
1278	...and your decaying body will be dug up and burned as fuel by future generations.	1.2222	0.04631	126	104	16	6
1279	Take the flashlight! I can tell you have to go.	1.2222	0.04766	126	105	14	7
1280	Not scary Kevin. And I seriously doubt that this camp site is built on top of an ancient mammalian burial ground!	1.2222	0.04665	99	79	18	2
1281	It's me, Elon Musk, and you're fired!	1.2222	0.05021	117	98	12	7
1282	Yikes! You lookHUMAN!	1.2222	0.04719	117	96	16	5
1283	…and the whole story was written by a computer!	1.2222	0.04200	126	101	22	3
1284	A comet, you say?	1.2222	0.04492	126	103	18	5
1285	Then they get into SUVs and take two parking spaces.	1.2222	0.04293	135	110	20	5
1286	It makes you look even meaner.	1.2222	0.04881	99	80	16	3
1287	BOO! He was a scaredactyl.	1.2222	0.04981	108	89	14	5
1288	No, it doesn't look scary. I can just see all your tartar.	1.2222	0.04348	126	102	20	4
1289	Let me tell you a human story…	1.2222	0.04348	126	102	20	4
1290	You look human	1.2222	0.04719	117	96	16	5
1291	And a big, fiery rock comes down from the sky...	1.2214	0.04064	140	113	23	4
1292	Grrr-Assic!	1.2214	0.04506	131	108	17	6
1293	And then, the beautiful maiden declared herself non-binary.	1.2213	0.04279	122	98	21	3
1294	The only prophecy yet to be fulfilled involves an asteroid...	1.2212	0.04659	113	92	17	4
1295	A song, four words, first word sounds like . . . .	1.2212	0.04659	113	92	17	4
1296	I learned this from the humans we ate...scary, huh?	1.2212	0.04825	113	93	15	5
1297	And she shouts, "It's a cookbook!"	1.2212	0.05142	113	95	11	7
1298	Meteorites? Come on, Michael! This thing will only attract moths …	1.2212	0.04659	113	92	17	4
1299	… and they call us fossil fuels!”	1.2212	0.04986	113	94	13	6
1300	And then the voice whispered his dying word: extinction.	1.2212	0.04725	104	84	17	3
1301	And then they said, "We've traced the call and it's coming from inside the cave."	1.2212	0.04918	104	85	15	4
1302	Fire is so yesterday.	1.2212	0.05790	104	90	5	9
1303	And they sit at the computers all day. Typing emails!	1.2212	0.04725	104	84	17	3
1304	The Beast... With FIVE FINGERS!	1.2212	0.04918	104	85	15	4
1305	Why do humans like camping?	1.2212	0.04918	104	85	15	4
1306	And Chris Pratt reboots the franchise!	1.2206	0.04512	136	113	16	7
1307	and Barney was never seen again." The End.	1.2205	0.04598	127	105	16	6
1308	And then he cried out, "My name is Bilbo Baggins!"	1.2205	0.04170	127	102	22	3
1309	I said please don’t do that! It really makes you look human!	1.2203	0.04683	118	97	16	5
1310	And this is the scary part: it was a HUMAN	1.2203	0.04683	118	97	16	5
1311	And as our vaporized bodies increase the earth’s temperature, the humans will do… NOTHING!	1.2203	0.04525	118	96	18	4
1312	Does This Make Me Look Gentle?	1.2203	0.04683	118	97	16	5
1313	The end	1.2202	0.05272	109	92	10	7
1314	you're just not that scary	1.2202	0.04582	109	88	18	3
1315	Humans were extinct millions of years ago! Stop playing with their toys!!	1.2202	0.05108	109	91	12	6
1316	‘Blinded by the light’…wait, what? No, that can’t be the next lyric.	1.2202	0.04764	109	89	16	4
1317	Then I took my human form and became president	1.2202	0.05272	109	92	10	7
1318	Don't beat around the bush, just tell me if I really look extinct	1.2200	0.05238	100	83	12	5
1319	Is that what he was holding when you ate him?	1.2200	0.05238	100	83	12	5
1320	Your face is gonna freeze like that forever.	1.2195	0.04835	123	103	13	7
1321	[...] then, the monsters heard a horrifying voice that said: "babe, can you pass me the marshmallows?"	1.2195	0.04088	123	98	23	2
1322	After the knock at the door a voice spoke "This is the IRS, you're being audited"	1.2193	0.04946	114	95	13	6
1323	But it seems that the major extinction event was coming from INSIDE the house!	1.2193	0.04622	114	93	17	4
1324	...and just like that, Social Security, gas stoves, history books, and common sense were lost forever.	1.2193	0.04946	114	95	13	6
1325	And then the Fed raised interest rates to six percent.	1.2193	0.04787	114	94	15	5
1326	Do I look normal and non-threatening when I do this??	1.2190	0.05577	105	90	7	8
1327	and that's when he noticed a tiny arm reaching for him!	1.2190	0.05060	105	87	13	5
1328	Suddenly the sheets moved and a face appeared from over the bed. IT WAS A LITTLE BOY!	1.2190	0.05238	105	88	11	6
1329	OMG! It makes you look like a monster, when the light is right under your face!	1.2190	0.04684	105	85	17	3
1330	your feet scare me more than the story	1.2188	0.04428	128	105	18	5
1331	any extinct stories?	1.2188	0.04565	128	106	16	6
1332	Don't shine the light up like that. It makes you look like a monster!	1.2188	0.04953	128	109	10	9
1333	No! Surely a killer comet is scarier than an asteroid?	1.2185	0.03987	119	94	24	1
1334	Dude, you're already a monster what's the flashlight supposed to do?	1.2185	0.04491	119	97	18	4
1335	And then, a giant asteroid appeared in the sky...	1.2185	0.04647	119	98	16	5
1336	...and years later they dig up your corpse to put on DISPLAY!	1.2185	0.04944	119	100	12	7
1337	You're right, these dragon costumes do make scary stories scarier.	1.2183	0.04370	142	118	17	7
1338	So once upon a time there was an asteroid	1.2183	0.04370	142	118	17	7
1339	And THIS is why you should always brush.	1.2182	0.04545	110	89	18	3
1340	Enough with the flashlight. This “no sun” thing really has me spooked.	1.2180	0.04314	133	109	19	5
1341	Sometimes you never know a person until you go camping with them.	1.2178	0.05190	101	84	12	5
1342	Oh, wow! For a second there you looked like a human!!	1.2174	0.04749	115	95	15	5
1343	For the last time, no I do not know what anachronistic means and the dictionary won't be invented for centuries.	1.2174	0.04240	115	92	21	2
1344	Jurassic Park - After Dark	1.2174	0.04585	115	94	17	4
1345	O.K., who's dead?	1.2174	0.04585	115	94	17	4
1346	Do I have hobbit in my teeth?	1.2174	0.04749	115	95	15	5
1347	And then the human ATE the laundry pod!	1.2174	0.04749	115	95	15	5
1348	The asteroid was coming from within the atmosphere!	1.2174	0.04585	115	94	17	4
1349	These ghost stories do dragon	1.2174	0.04749	115	95	15	5
1350	...and they called him Godzilla!	1.2174	0.04585	115	94	17	4
1351	I want to wake up in a city that never sleeps, and find that I’m king of the hill	1.2171	0.04397	129	106	18	5
1352	Turn that off! You're going to attract Mothra.	1.2171	0.04664	129	108	14	7
1353	You still have some camper stuck in your teeth.	1.2170	0.05193	106	89	11	6
1354	Wait, how many dinosaurs came out to play?	1.2170	0.04447	106	85	19	2
1355	Watch carefully as I exhale.	1.2170	0.05017	106	88	13	5
1356	And that's when he realized he wasn't in Tokyo ... he was in Tampa!	1.2170	0.04447	106	85	19	2
1357	Stop it, Glen, you're scaring the eggs.	1.2170	0.04834	106	87	15	4
1358	I'd rather you light my fire.	1.2170	0.05193	106	89	11	6
1359	…dude asteroid jokes aren’t cool man	1.2170	0.04834	106	87	15	4
1360	And when exactly did St. George get a flashlight?	1.2167	0.04611	120	99	16	5
1361	When you do that it makes me realize how much better looking I am than you.	1.2167	0.04761	120	100	14	6
1362	Invis-a-lign! Get it?	1.2167	0.04131	120	96	22	2
1363	And that's the story of how the evil humans destroyed the earth!	1.2167	0.04611	120	99	16	5
1364	How do I take a selfie with this thing?	1.2165	0.05124	97	80	13	4
1365	See my teeth, I ate a Dentist today.	1.2165	0.05124	97	80	13	4
1366	Okay, okay. You’re very scary now, alright?	1.2165	0.05528	97	82	9	6
1367	You've never looked better.	1.2165	0.04687	97	78	17	2
1368	And here’s an old classic from the Jurassic…	1.2165	0.05124	97	80	13	4
1369	And then the big meteor got closer and closer ...	1.2162	0.04858	111	92	14	5
1370	Omigod, you look like a human!	1.2162	0.04322	111	89	20	2
1371	And there stood Big Foot!	1.2162	0.04128	111	88	22	1
1372	Buzzingaaa!!	1.2162	0.04686	111	91	16	4
1373	It came out of the scary tent—head, two arms, two legs, and it walked upright.	1.2162	0.04858	111	92	14	5
1374	And then a giant asteroid wipes us all out!	1.2162	0.04686	111	91	16	4
1375	...and then humans take over the earth.	1.2162	0.04508	111	90	18	3
1376	Okay, that's going to give me nightmares for a millennium.	1.2162	0.04322	111	89	20	2
1377	…and they will sell chicken nuggets shaped like us.	1.2162	0.05023	111	93	12	6
1378	Sure, you look scary. But Tokyo it ain't.	1.2160	0.04484	125	103	17	5
1379	Hey, Vegas, it's great to be back!	1.2160	0.04338	125	102	19	4
1380	...and then he called for his dad to check under the bed!	1.2157	0.04751	102	83	16	3
1381	And this light suddenly appeared in the sky and got bigger and brighter, BIGGER AND BRIGHTER, and then …	1.2157	0.04951	102	84	14	4
1382	And then they use this light when the fire goes out	1.2157	0.04751	102	83	16	3
1383	And you don’t have to plug it in.	1.2157	0.04751	102	83	16	3
1384	And suddenly, a huge fire rock appeared in the sky!	1.2157	0.04751	102	83	16	3
1385	I always look better in the dark.	1.2155	0.04550	116	95	17	4
1386	“The last time I ate one of our own kind was around a campfire just like this …” he began his story with a dinosaur-devil face .	1.2155	0.04207	116	93	21	2
1387	Here’s a great scary story. An asteroid hits the earth, leads to a mass extinction that kills off all the dinosaurs. What a crock!	1.2155	0.04382	116	94	19	3
1388	I find fire with big light, no heat.	1.2150	0.04793	107	88	15	4
1389	I think it was better when we breathed the only fire.	1.2150	0.04793	107	88	15	4
1390	We're not alone.	1.2150	0.04605	107	87	17	3
1391	…Maaaarjorie Taaaaaylor Greeeeene!	1.2150	0.04793	107	88	15	4
1392	A Caveman taught me this move.	1.2149	0.04265	121	98	20	3
1393	Yes, I think whitening strips will make a big improvement.	1.2149	0.04265	121	98	20	3
1394	Ha! I'm brighter than you!	1.2149	0.04424	121	99	18	4
1395	But… the asteroid didn’t miss Earth as expected!	1.2143	0.04648	112	92	16	4
1396	... and they realized the sounds of the child were coming from on top of the bed!	1.2143	0.04644	98	79	17	2
1397	YES, I SEE THE CAVITY NOW.	1.2143	0.04865	98	80	15	3
1398	And then the human said: let's do taxes.	1.2143	0.05280	98	82	11	5
1399	Your stories are so out of date!	1.2143	0.04644	98	79	17	2
1400	And then, after the killer asteroid, came the real destroyer ... HOMO SAPIENS!	1.2143	0.04865	98	80	15	3
1401	Yes, I am out of batteries AGAIN.	1.2143	0.04818	112	93	14	5
1402	And then this huge asteroid appeared across the sky…	1.2143	0.04592	126	105	15	6
1403	The hitchhiker had vanished! And only her puff of smoke remained.	1.2137	0.04675	117	97	15	5
1404	One of the archaeologists dropped it.	1.2137	0.04514	117	96	17	4
1405	And all anyone ever found of them were fossils..	1.2137	0.04675	117	97	15	5
1406	And then they turn them into purses!	1.2137	0.04830	117	98	13	6
1407	. . . And then Human Beings took over the planet!	1.2137	0.04348	117	95	19	3
1408	Look! Forty years later and I'm still immature.	1.2136	0.04907	103	85	14	4
1409	Woe-ho! I'm a meteor landing in Mexico!	1.2136	0.04907	103	85	14	4
1410	And they lived raptory ever after.	1.2136	0.04709	103	84	16	3
1411	I don't get, is this supposed to be scary?	1.2136	0.04907	103	85	14	4
1412	I’m a caveman. I discovered fire. I’m top of the food chain	1.2133	0.04187	150	125	18	7
1413	Sure, Man discovered fire, but I invented the flashlight.	1.2131	0.04831	122	103	12	7
1414	And to this day...no one knows where he's buried	1.2131	0.04831	122	103	12	7
1415	For God’s sake, Frank, put that thing away. You’re ugly enough as it is.	1.2130	0.04931	108	90	13	5
1416	...and then the human jumped up behind me and screamed 'SELFIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!'	1.2130	0.04931	108	90	13	5
1417	And then he ripped off his own face, and inside was a human the whole time!	1.2130	0.04373	108	87	19	2
1418	And the meteor came closer and CLOSER!!	1.2130	0.04753	108	89	15	4
1419	You keep that up, your face will stay that way.	1.2128	0.05427	94	79	10	5
1420	Stop clowning and get the marshmallows.	1.2128	0.05212	94	78	12	4
1421	... and the police sergeant said, 'We traced the lizard skin handbags - they're made inside the house. Get out!'	1.2126	0.04694	127	107	13	7
1422	Legend has it that our days here are numbered!	1.2126	0.04559	127	106	15	6
1423	So we died too?	1.2126	0.04127	127	103	21	3
1424	This IS my scary face.	1.2124	0.04611	113	93	16	4
1425	So there was this T-Rex with a hook for a hand...	1.2124	0.04779	113	94	14	5
1426	And stealthily, the cowardly Saint George crrreppppt up on the sweetly sleeping innocent dragon . . .	1.2124	0.04611	113	93	16	4
1427	And someday your bones will be on display in a museum.	1.2124	0.04779	113	94	14	5
1428	You'll perish in a firey BANG. And at the Smithsonian, they won't even charge people to see your bones.	1.2124	0.04436	113	92	18	3
1429	That last paleontologist gave me heartburn	1.2124	0.04779	113	94	14	5
1430	And..... Then they said no more social security !	1.2121	0.05030	99	82	13	4
1431	…And now a word from our sponsor.	1.2121	0.04602	99	80	17	2
1432	Am I scary or what !	1.2121	0.05030	99	82	13	4
1433	OMG! How scary! I thought you looked like a human!	1.2119	0.04315	118	96	19	3
1434	Yes, I said you're not very bright but that doesn't help.	1.2115	0.04668	104	85	16	3
1435	When is it my turn to use the flashlight and show off my teeth?	1.2115	0.04864	104	86	14	4
1436	I am telling a joke!	1.2115	0.05053	104	87	12	5
1437	Still carrying a torch for me “	1.2115	0.04668	104	85	16	3
1438	Yes, your dentist did a great job, but how much did you pay?	1.2115	0.04464	104	84	18	2
1439	Egad! Then what did St. George do?	1.2115	0.04864	104	86	14	4
1440	…and then the human crawled out from under the bed. What happens next will blow your mind…	1.2115	0.05234	104	88	10	6
1441	Hunting humans is easy...I do this and they just drop dead!!	1.2114	0.04358	123	101	18	4
1442	Were batteries included?	1.2110	0.04337	109	88	19	2
1443	They checked the nest, and... the horror! There, newly hatched before them, a purple vegan singing dinosaur, immaculately conceived by the imagination of children!	1.2110	0.04529	109	89	17	3
1444	Arrrggggh...I'm a Person!	1.2110	0.04529	109	89	17	3
1445	Suddenly, everyone got obsessed with a show about wealthy people in luxury resorts with a hefty dose of betrayal, sex, drugs, and murder. That’s how we became irrelevant on tv shows…	1.2110	0.04713	109	90	15	4
1446	Never have I ever drunk a craft beer.	1.2105	0.04463	95	76	18	1
1447	That works on the kids, Karl, but you don’t frighten me.	1.2105	0.04032	114	91	22	1
1448	Being a Republican, I am only trying to keep you in fear	1.2105	0.04740	114	95	14	5
1449	...suddenly this huge flaming rock pierces our atmosphere and click, lights out.	1.2105	0.04032	114	91	22	1
1450	I assure you. There's nothing in your teeth.	1.2105	0.04740	114	95	14	5
1451	I don't think we can cook with it but I love how flattering it is on my face.	1.2105	0.04708	95	77	16	2
1452	And then—the latest ‘Jurassic Park’ sequel went straight-to-streaming!	1.2105	0.04940	95	78	14	3
1453	And just when you thought it was finally over, they started a whole new franchise called Jurassic WORLD!	1.2101	0.04418	138	116	15	7
1454	I know you're trying, Roger, but I'm just not terrified.	1.2101	0.04445	119	98	17	4
1455	Phil, are there any campers stuck in my teeth?	1.2101	0.04603	119	99	15	5
1456	I think you've just invented the selfie.	1.2100	0.04984	100	83	13	4
1457	And when he turned around, there was a giant robot copy of himself!!!	1.2100	0.04984	100	83	13	4
1458	Check this! Do I look like Godzilla?	1.2100	0.04777	100	82	15	3
1459	…and there’s a bunny that just keeps going and going.	1.2097	0.04172	124	101	20	3
1460	And then, hurtling out of the night ski was a fire ball like no one has ever seen! What happened next?	1.2097	0.04172	124	101	20	3
1461	And in the morning... I'm making waffles!	1.2097	0.04326	124	102	18	4
1462	Gerald, I think we need to talk about our divorce.	1.2095	0.04426	105	85	18	2
1463	Isn't this more fun than Dungeons and Dragons?	1.2095	0.04628	105	86	16	3
1464	If man is a monster, I have a monster inside of me.	1.2095	0.04426	105	85	18	2
1465	and a giant rock headed this way.	1.2095	0.04822	105	87	14	4
1466	Stop shaking, climate change is a just a myth.	1.2095	0.05008	105	88	12	5
1467	And then they put your bones into a museum for groups of children to fart on	1.2095	0.04628	105	86	16	3
1468	How have you been affected by cancelation?	1.2093	0.04494	129	108	15	6
1469	Crap, marshmallows are still a million years away...	1.2091	0.04492	110	90	17	3
1470	Asteroid stories again?	1.2091	0.04674	110	91	15	4
1471	'"So then he ghosted me."	1.2091	0.04849	110	92	13	5
1472	Do I have a survival skills badge stuck in my teeth?	1.2091	0.04849	110	92	13	5
1473	By the time I sing 'Don't Rain on My Parade,' they'll have forgotten Barbra completely.	1.2091	0.04492	110	90	17	3
1474	With those looks we'll never survive.	1.2091	0.04302	110	89	19	2
1475	And that, dear boy, is why the first Tyrannosauruses became rextinct.	1.2091	0.04492	110	90	17	3
1476	Oh, dear. Go for back lighting.	1.2091	0.05018	110	93	11	6
1477	Maybe man invented fire, but look at what I invented!	1.2087	0.04537	115	95	16	4
1478	And the whole park was full of HUMANS	1.2087	0.04537	115	95	16	4
1479	And then, after thousands of years, they'll dig up your body and turn it into single-use toothpicks!	1.2087	0.04537	115	95	16	4
1480	And then the spooky comet made the Chicxulub crater	1.2087	0.04862	115	97	12	6
1481	Like usual, his short arms were of no use.	1.2087	0.04703	115	96	14	5
1482	And I see Sasquatch and I go like "Boo"!	1.2087	0.04366	115	94	18	3
1483	It was a bright and balmy day...	1.2087	0.04862	115	97	12	6
1484	It's from the future!	1.2087	0.04366	115	94	18	3
1485	This motherfucker.	1.2083	0.04865	120	102	11	7
1486	... and then, out of the woods, came a pack of Cub Scouts.	1.2083	0.04718	120	101	13	6
1487	One of their better inventions.	1.2083	0.04250	120	98	19	3
1488	And when the light shines in the dragon’s face you could see little bits of Boy Scout in its teeth!	1.2083	0.04568	120	100	15	5
1489	Check this out. We can stop breathing fire	1.2083	0.05322	96	81	10	5
1490	Stop it, Keith, you’re freaking me it.	1.2079	0.04939	101	84	13	4
1491	I'd look a lot scarier with music.	1.2079	0.04734	101	83	15	3
1492	Where do you find batteries for that thing?	1.2079	0.04939	101	84	13	4
1493	…his heart sank… but then he remembered that he was an apex predator and he lived happily ever after.	1.2079	0.04734	101	83	15	3
1494	Okay, but apart from the ability to make fire, the dexterity to make tools and the invention of electricity, what have opposable thumbs ever really given you?”	1.2079	0.05135	101	85	11	5
1495	Well, I can say this. You need to floss more.	1.2079	0.04734	101	83	15	3
1496	And that's how the Jurassic Park came to an end	1.2079	0.04939	101	84	13	4
1497	And this is how you look scary with a flashlight.	1.2079	0.05135	101	85	11	5
1498	"Tell me another scary story about the mammals.	1.2079	0.04734	101	83	15	3
1499	No Frank, I am not scared. You should know by now I have thicker skin than that!	1.2079	0.05135	101	85	11	5
1500	…and then the big, scary, fiery rock fell from the sky…	1.2079	0.05135	101	85	11	5
1501	And then the wretched creature said, “I’m all out of Thin Mints!”	1.2079	0.04939	101	84	13	4
1502	Oh sure. A giant asteroid will kill us all. Right.	1.2075	0.04965	106	89	12	5
1503	You forgot the bear repellent spray?	1.2075	0.04388	106	86	18	2
1504	You know, ‘Brontosaurus’ is considered racially offensive today.	1.2075	0.04965	106	89	12	5
1505	You are really freaking me out Bret.	1.2075	0.04780	106	88	14	4
1506	Just shine the light under you chin like this. And it scares the hell out of the monsters.	1.2075	0.04589	106	87	16	3
1507	And they were made into chicken nuggets!	1.2072	0.04455	111	91	17	3
1508	And the only thing left of that whole family was a thin silvery trace of iridium.	1.2072	0.04635	111	92	15	4
1509	And then the politicians said, “I’m not a scientist, but rocks don’t just fall from space.”	1.2072	0.04976	111	94	11	6
1510	And then, where the tail was supposed to be, was another tiny arm!!!	1.2072	0.04809	111	93	13	5
1511	It's nice to warm up my face with the light,don't you agree?	1.2072	0.04267	111	90	19	2
1512	Those weren’t functional mushrooms.	1.2072	0.04267	111	90	19	2
1513	STOP!!! It's cold and dark and you're scaring me.	1.2069	0.04332	116	95	18	3
1514	Nothing scarier than the extinction.	1.2066	0.04378	121	100	17	4
1515	Whoa! That meteor hitting the earth story is your scariest one yet.	1.2066	0.04052	121	98	21	2
1516	We need to invent marshmallows for nights like this	1.2066	0.04682	121	102	13	6
1517	Get it? This is the last face you'll see.	1.2066	0.04682	121	102	13	6
1518	And this is the story of Humannosaurus Wrecks.	1.2066	0.04827	121	103	11	7
1519	Then the human said, "Mumm it tastes just like chicken".	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
1520	And then I saw a human!	1.2065	0.04773	92	75	15	2
1521	Check out my Donald Trump impersonation.	1.2065	0.05250	92	77	11	4
1522	Found this new teeth whitening cream made 'specially for dragons.	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
1523	Yeah,but no, wait… Can you hear me now?	1.2065	0.05250	92	77	11	4
1524	Suddenly, a human child’s face appears from ABOVE the bed!	1.2065	0.05473	92	78	9	5
1525	But greater than the fear that made their blood run hot was the fear they would be shamed on social media.	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
1526	Told you not to eat the dermatologist!	1.2065	0.04773	92	75	15	2
1527	This is one of the reasons she broke up with you.	1.2065	0.05687	92	79	7	6
1528	Oh puh-lease! That gag is prehistoric…	1.2062	0.04847	97	80	14	3
1529	Tell me more terrifying human stories dad!	1.2062	0.05271	97	82	10	5
1530	Helen! It’s me—Murray.	1.2062	0.05064	97	81	12	4
1531	I think we've finally found a way to look scary.	1.2062	0.04847	97	80	14	3
1532	Yes yes, the Invisalign works so well, it IS scary.	1.2061	0.04562	131	111	13	7
1533	George was no saint.	1.2059	0.04692	102	84	15	3
1534	And then they put me in Jurassic Park.	1.2059	0.04894	102	85	13	4
1535	Don't worry. We can roast marshmallows even if the fire goes out.	1.2059	0.05276	102	87	9	6
1536	…ad then we were all transformed into oil that bipedal monkeys used to cook the planet!	1.2059	0.04692	102	84	15	3
1537	We're BOTH dragons, remember?	1.2059	0.04894	102	85	13	4
1538	And then out of nowhere came this meteor.	1.2059	0.04480	102	83	17	2
1539	Then, after the meteor struck the world was taken over by two legged mammals who tried to destroy what was left!"	1.2059	0.04894	102	85	13	4
1540	And then KaaaaPOW! We were all replaced by little bipeds with hideous loooong arms.	1.2056	0.04739	107	89	14	4
1541	We should probably put out the fire as we are the last of our kind, don't ya think ??	1.2056	0.04739	107	89	14	4
1542	Not to be rude, but can you see if I have some of that ichthyologist stuck between my teeth?	1.2056	0.04739	107	89	14	4
1543	Don't kid yourself. It gives a fiercely brighter smile.	1.2056	0.04550	107	88	16	3
1544	He was a hardworking immigrant — they took one look and ran screaming, ‘Ahhhh, it’s Godzilla!’	1.2054	0.04419	112	92	17	3
1545	...and then the meteors rained down everywhere!	1.2054	0.04419	112	92	17	3
1546	Once upon a time,there was a meteor	1.2051	0.04298	117	96	18	3
1547	Aging feet are a bitch.	1.2051	0.04298	117	96	18	3
1548	Quit goofing off! If those batteries go dead we'll see who's scared!	1.2051	0.04298	117	96	18	3
1549	Why did you name it, “Flashlight?”	1.2051	0.04629	117	98	14	5
1550	…George Martin quit writing and nobody ever worked again	1.2051	0.04629	117	98	14	5
1551	As the smoke cleared, the terrible face appeared. It was the Master Dragon Slayer- GEORGE SANTOS!	1.2049	0.04346	122	101	17	4
1552	It was a knight a lot like this knight...	1.2049	0.04499	122	102	15	5
1553	No, you're thinking of The Blair Witch Project. Bruce Willis was in the The Sixth Sense.	1.2047	0.04519	127	107	14	6
1554	Be honest. Do I look scary or just silly?	1.2047	0.04233	127	105	18	4
1555	I thought we discovered light until I found this thing.	1.2043	0.05198	93	78	11	4
1556	You mean you prefer our old mating ritual?	1.2043	0.05418	93	79	9	5
1557	So is this the glamping part of the trip?	1.2043	0.04727	93	76	15	2
1558	Fred, you don’t need the flashlight to look scary: You’re a dragon.	1.2043	0.04968	93	77	13	3
1559	Don't, please. You look too much like yourself.	1.2041	0.05222	98	83	10	5
1560	He did the mash. He did the...	1.2041	0.04802	98	81	14	3
1561	I think you had one too many roasted peasants.	1.2041	0.04577	98	80	16	2
1562	Hunter-Gatherer Stories!	1.2041	0.04802	98	81	14	3
1563	What are batteries ?	1.2041	0.05222	98	83	10	5
1564	Oh relax, it's just a helicopter.	1.2039	0.04851	103	86	13	4
1565	I don’t know the end of the story. This is when I ate him.	1.2039	0.04441	103	84	17	2
1566	Bad lighting, the scariest thing of all.	1.2039	0.04441	103	84	17	2
1567	Hands on the wheel!” yelled the police officer.	1.2039	0.04650	103	85	15	3
1568	THAT vegetarian meal was delish! Any bones stuck in my teeth?	1.2039	0.05407	103	89	7	7
1569	This story's called "The very scary meteorite".	1.2039	0.04851	103	86	13	4
1570	And then a big rock hit the planet and wiped us all out.	1.2039	0.04441	103	84	17	2
1571	Fire, schmire, I still think they taste better raw.	1.2039	0.05228	103	88	9	6
1572	Stop joking around, there's an asteroid coming!	1.2039	0.05043	103	87	11	5
1573	"Am I the light of your life?	1.2039	0.04441	103	84	17	2
1574	And then they chose an orange to be their leader.	1.2039	0.05043	103	87	11	5
1575	You just farted, didn't you.	1.2037	0.04699	108	90	14	4
1576	And then, the monster turned out to be a... meteor!	1.2037	0.04699	108	90	14	4
1577	And when they do this, that's when you jump out of the bushes!	1.2037	0.04511	108	89	16	3
1578	But Democrats, upon learning the Republicans had nominated Trump once again, realized they no choice but to vote for Biden.	1.2037	0.04880	108	91	12	5
1579	The next day, they found the Tokyo Tower hanging on the car door!	1.2037	0.04511	108	89	16	3
1580	Whoa! That's even scarier than your Madonna impression.	1.2035	0.04199	113	92	19	2
1581	It is just not quite the same as when we breathed fire to scare them.	1.2035	0.04730	113	95	13	5
1582	But this move had that gorilla climbing the wall.	1.2035	0.04560	113	94	15	4
1583	…and one day…they will use our dead bodies… as fuel	1.2035	0.04730	113	95	13	5
1584	And they say that if you listen closely on a night just like tonight, you can still hear the sobs of parents who named their children Daenerys.	1.2035	0.04560	113	94	15	4
1585	This is what that scary kid looked like before I ate him.	1.2034	0.04432	118	98	16	4
1586	And after taking a bite of the human, he realized it was... a VEGAN!	1.2034	0.04432	118	98	16	4
1587	Your fossil fuel got nothin' on my long-lasting battery-powered flashlight.	1.2034	0.04593	118	99	14	5
1588	And then she found out the calls were coming from inside the house!	1.2033	0.04313	123	102	17	4
1589	Tell me another story, Puff!	1.2022	0.05099	89	74	12	3
1590	And then, they won’t even catch their food. They get groceries.	1.2021	0.05574	94	81	7	6
1591	Suddenly he realized his arms were too short to lift the carcass!	1.2021	0.04682	94	77	15	2
1592	Just relax you are adorable.”	1.2021	0.04682	94	77	15	2
1593	I don't know what was scarier, your ghost story or your people story.	1.2021	0.04920	94	78	13	3
1594	And then, Karen demanded to speak to ... a manager!	1.2020	0.04758	99	82	14	3
1595	Eh, I don’t know if I believe that asteroid dust would change the global climate.	1.2020	0.04758	99	82	14	3
1596	For starters, there are these things called humans …	1.2020	0.05173	99	84	10	5
1597	Do you know the origin story of that aggressive T-Rex in Jurassic Park? Well, I’ll tell you the tea.	1.2020	0.04536	99	81	16	2
1598	Where did you get that thing? You know, it doesn't make you look any better.	1.2019	0.04402	104	85	17	2
1599	No more puffing the magic dragon.	1.2019	0.04609	104	86	15	3
1600	Save your breath!	1.2019	0.04808	104	87	13	4
1601	...and then the meteors came down.	1.2019	0.04185	104	84	19	1
1602	And then they smile and laugh... LIKE THIS!	1.2019	0.04808	104	87	13	4
1603	Three Mesozoics walk into a bar"..	1.2019	0.04609	104	86	15	3
1604	It’s funny but I don’t think this will be a successful invention because it’s just light, it doesn’t get warm and you can’t use it for barbecue…	1.2019	0.04998	104	88	11	5
1605	And then, an asteroid hit Earth.	1.2018	0.03862	109	87	22	0
1606	Don’t you think it’s time we evolve into something better.	1.2018	0.04660	109	91	14	4
1607	Now that’s scary!	1.2018	0.04660	109	91	14	4
1608	It was a dark and stormy night. High above, a giant asteroid silently approached the Earth...	1.2018	0.04839	109	92	12	5
1609	It's a gimmick Reg. Had it on for three hours last night and my Pterodactyl was still raw.	1.2018	0.04280	109	89	18	2
1610	And then Britain was taken over by inbred humans! WoooooOooooh!	1.2018	0.04280	109	89	18	2
1611	Let me know if you've heard this one before. Once there was a spoiled despot named Vladimir Putin . . .	1.2018	0.04839	109	92	12	5
1612	What's really scary, is you always burning the Smores.	1.2018	0.04474	109	90	16	3
1613	Wanna hear the one about the little boy under the bed?	1.2018	0.04839	109	92	12	5
1614	And then they were caught between a rock and a hard place…	1.2018	0.04660	109	91	14	4
1615	I still think we need bear spray.	1.2018	0.04076	109	88	20	1
1616	I call it a ‘Chin Illuminator’.	1.2018	0.04692	114	96	13	5
1617	In the year 65,000,000	1.2018	0.04166	114	93	19	2
1618	And then the wild things roared their multi-syllabic roars, and gnashed their pale teeth and rolled their bespectacled eyes and showed their opposable thumbs	1.2017	0.04557	119	100	14	5
1619	And then, the humans had to RETURN TO THE OFFICE!!	1.2016	0.04126	124	102	19	3
1620	That's it? A big rock out of the Sky?	1.2016	0.03794	124	100	23	1
1621	I can’t believe you forgot the marshmallows!	1.2015	0.04208	134	112	17	5
1622	And they called him… Donald Trump! Bwaahahaha….	1.2000	0.04043	110	89	20	1
1623	Here's a story about global warming.	1.2000	0.05125	100	85	10	5
1624	So, next time you look up at the night sky, don't wish for shooting stars -- you might get something far more dangerous!	1.2000	0.04525	90	73	16	1
1625	Look, I'm a shadow puppet.	1.2000	0.04495	100	82	16	2
1626	… and he had a powerful roar and terrifying teeth, but oddly, tiny hands on short little arms.	1.2000	0.04924	100	84	12	4
1627	Before I grabbed him, they thought this was scary!	1.2000	0.05097	95	80	11	4
1628	A chill ran up my tail: it was Smokey the Bear himself.	1.2000	0.04487	115	96	15	4
1629	And then something moved ON TOP OF THE BED.	1.2000	0.04621	110	92	14	4
1630	Do I have anything in my teeth?	1.2000	0.04487	115	96	15	4
1631	Put out that damn light, you'll draw attention to us!	1.2000	0.04924	100	84	12	4
1632	But then, Tokyo launched their fighter jets and drove Godzilla back into the sea!	1.2000	0.04621	110	92	14	4
1633	And then this horrible monster with orange skin and yellow hair emerged from the woods...	1.2000	0.05125	100	85	10	5
1634	Yup, your lipstick is smudged, I'll call make-up.	1.2000	0.04495	100	82	16	2
1635	Suddenly, there was a huge explosion... and the designated survivor was all alone	1.2000	0.04621	110	92	14	4
1636	It’s just me. There are no monsters here!	1.2000	0.04569	105	87	15	3
1637	How many chins do I have?	1.2000	0.05047	90	75	12	3
1638	…and then the Human smiled an evil smile.	1.2000	0.04621	110	92	14	4
1639	And then this God told the new hairy-creatures that they could rule over all the earth and its creatures!	1.2000	0.04389	95	77	17	1
1640	This is my Geroge Santos face!	1.2000	0.04872	95	79	13	3
1641	So, millions of years after the asteroid kills all of us, using us as fossil fuels, kills all living things once again, the circle of death.	1.2000	0.05125	100	85	10	5
1642	...and then suddenly this big rock from the sky came crashing down!	1.2000	0.04389	95	77	17	1
1643	You have a cavity, upper right.	1.2000	0.05097	95	80	11	4
1644	You eat the campers and all their stuff but keep their flashlight,every time.....I just don't get it is all.	1.2000	0.04637	95	78	15	2
1645	Well, this is SCARRYOKE !	1.2000	0.04924	100	84	12	4
1646	And then, they rebooted Jurassic Park with Chris PRATT!	1.2000	0.05481	105	92	5	8
1647	''Suddenly, a huge ball of fire appeared in the sky, and started plummeting toward earth...''	1.2000	0.04714	100	83	14	3
1648	Why do you do that when you know it scares the crap out of me.	1.2000	0.04314	115	95	17	3
1649	Well, if you can get that thing to also give us some heat, I’ll consider going green.	1.2000	0.03945	115	93	21	1
1650	Which way is it to Yellowstone?	1.2000	0.04522	120	101	14	5
1651	You’re a shoo in for Pitch Perfect the Prehistoric version!	1.2000	0.04714	100	83	14	3
1652	Give it up already. You’re just not a scary dinosaur.	1.2000	0.05125	100	85	10	5
1653	Heck, you need a mask.	1.2000	0.04714	100	83	14	3
1654	And then suddenly, out of nowhere came this asteroid!	1.2000	0.04364	120	100	16	4
1655	I just think you were scarier with the braces.	1.2000	0.05047	90	75	12	3
1656	Three guys walk into a bar ...	1.2000	0.04525	90	73	16	1
1657	Nope. I don't see a speck of triceratops in your teeth.	1.2000	0.04364	105	86	17	2
1658	Who says that everyone dies in the paleolithic era?	1.2000	0.04637	95	78	15	2
1659	'All right Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my closeup.'	1.2000	0.04714	100	83	14	3
1660	'You must buy more cookies!' she shrieked.'"	1.2000	0.04793	90	74	14	2
1661	It’s called the SpaceX Dragon Spacecraft”….. “wait, can you remind me what we identify as again?	1.2000	0.04637	95	78	15	2
1662	I’ve been whitening my teeth - can you tell?	1.2000	0.04637	95	78	15	2
1663	And her remains were reincarnated as a relatively inefficient fuel for small motor powered vehicles	1.2000	0.05136	105	90	9	6
1664	Don't be afraid," the bigger human told the small one. "Dinosaurs are extinct!	1.1985	0.04115	131	109	18	4
1665	Turn off that light, Harold. Sasquatch might see us.	1.1984	0.04367	126	106	15	5
1666	Turn it off, Reggie, it does nothing to soften your ugliness!	1.1983	0.04487	121	102	14	5
1667	MAGA!	1.1983	0.04638	121	103	12	6
1668	I don't know what a car is either, Doris. But just go with me on this. 'The couple is in the car parked in the dark forest and they hear three taps on the roof....'	1.1983	0.04331	121	101	16	4
1669	Can you cook with that?	1.1983	0.04487	121	102	14	5
1670	Does it make me look human"	1.1983	0.04280	116	96	17	3
1671	But instead of a claw… it was a human hand!	1.1983	0.04452	116	97	15	4
1672	In about 65 million years, this will scare the socks off you.	1.1983	0.04617	116	98	13	5
1673	And then...a ball of fire SMASHES into the earth, wiping us out!	1.1982	0.04582	111	93	14	4
1674	Turn off that light. They say it attracts asteroids.	1.1982	0.04400	111	92	16	3
1675	Let’s light up	1.1982	0.04210	111	91	18	2
1676	I still don't know why they do this.	1.1982	0.04582	111	93	14	4
1677	The ice caps started to melt and then… MICROPLASTICS!”	1.1982	0.04400	111	92	16	3
1678	I wanted to make sure you wouldn't be scared Darling ,it’s only me!	1.1982	0.04210	111	91	18	2
1679	A giant meteor? Really?	1.1982	0.04400	111	92	16	3
1680	That will never work, it doesn't even keep you warm.	1.1982	0.04400	111	92	16	3
1681	And the humans went “ka-Putin”	1.1981	0.04327	106	87	17	2
1682	I see you've whitened your teeth.	1.1981	0.04724	106	89	13	4
1683	And hiding under the bed it was…an herbivore!	1.1981	0.04530	106	88	15	3
1684	So that’s why there were no humans on the Ark?	1.1981	0.04724	106	89	13	4
1685	What kind of predator are you most afraid of?	1.1981	0.04530	106	88	15	3
1686	To think I used to only date fire breathers.	1.1981	0.04114	106	86	19	1
1687	Once upon a time there was an asteroid far, far away.	1.1980	0.04671	101	84	14	3
1688	Ha! You can't scare the sh* t out of me using the same trick I pulled on you.	1.1980	0.04671	101	84	14	3
1689	Not serious enough you'll need to tone it down to scare Capt. Kirk tomorrow.	1.1980	0.04454	101	83	16	2
1690	Not as scary as the 55-gallon drum with my name on it.	1.1979	0.04826	96	80	13	3
1691	And then the astroid crashed down and wiped everyone out.	1.1979	0.04593	96	79	15	2
1692	...and the vicious killer introduced himself politely as Sir Gallahad.	1.1979	0.04593	96	79	15	2
1693	That's so fire. Drop that mic.	1.1979	0.04088	96	77	19	0
1694	It's skin was smooth and warm to the touch...	1.1979	0.04348	96	78	17	1
1695	That guy on the trail? He showed me this cool trick before I ate him.	1.1979	0.04826	96	80	13	3
1696	I too am missing my old flame.	1.1979	0.05048	96	81	11	4
1697	And the fossils belonged to … Uncle Ted.	1.1979	0.04593	96	79	15	2
1698	Does this flashlight make my face look scary?	1.1979	0.05048	96	81	11	4
1699	...and the kid knew I was under the bed.	1.1979	0.05048	96	81	11	4
1700	Hang on, torches don’t get invented for another one hundred and fifty thousand years yet!	1.1978	0.05234	91	77	10	4
1701	And then these wicked sapiens invented something called a dungeon	1.1970	0.04360	132	112	14	6
1702	And they call it 'evolution.'	1.1969	0.04189	127	106	17	4
1703	Is this better . . . or just cunningly scary?	1.1967	0.04138	122	101	18	3
1704	Humans? They look like Theeees!	1.1967	0.03971	122	100	20	2
1705	Yes, exactly like that girl on tik tok!	1.1966	0.04581	117	99	13	5
1706	Use this. It won't freak them out as much.	1.1964	0.04718	112	95	12	5
1707	It was a dark and stormy epoch”	1.1964	0.04545	112	94	14	4
1708	We're all gonna die, and won't even get credit for fire.	1.1964	0.04545	112	94	14	4
1709	Put another log on the fire dollface, then fetch my slippers for these six frozen toes.	1.1964	0.04545	112	94	14	4
1710	That's cute, but I'd rather have marshmallows.	1.1963	0.04491	107	89	15	3
1711	First I'll warm up with some scales.	1.1963	0.04683	107	90	13	4
1712	You better floss - you have a dental appointment Monday morning	1.1963	0.04290	107	88	17	2
1713	Does it make me look prettier?	1.1963	0.04290	107	88	17	2
1714	It was on sale at tyrannosau "r" us	1.1963	0.04868	107	91	11	5
1715	Hee-hee. l'm a monster.	1.1961	0.04835	102	86	12	4
1716	We found the source of light!	1.1961	0.04835	102	86	12	4
1717	See in there? I want all those amalgam fillings out."	1.1961	0.04629	102	85	14	3
1718	It’s always a dinosaur.	1.1961	0.04415	102	84	16	2
1719	Peace was in the valley and all the people were happy!	1.1961	0.04629	102	85	14	3
1720	The end... is near.	1.1961	0.04415	102	84	16	2
1721	I love these snack bags, they always come with a cool toy surprise!	1.1961	0.05221	102	88	8	6
1722	…and their black, liquified remains were burned to make energy for an insatiable species called ‘humans.’	1.1959	0.04780	97	81	13	3
1723	And out of nothing... a Meteor!	1.1959	0.05000	97	82	11	4
1724	Dental implants were once only for the wealthy.	1.1959	0.05000	97	82	11	4
1725	We are definitely staying up to watch shooting sta….	1.1959	0.04550	97	80	15	2
1726	The fire, the moonlight, looking into your eyes….I lost myself.	1.1957	0.04698	92	76	14	2
1727	I like the 'milk through your nose' trick better.	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
1728	This is my good side.	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
1729	No scary story- I'm just here for the s'mores.	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
1730	It's only climate change, nothing to worry about	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
1731	Ok take it quick- I’m ready for my selfie!	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
1732	You think that's scary? Have you looked at your toenails lately?"	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
1733	I got a clear look when you started the fire.	1.1949	0.04214	118	98	17	3
1734	Yes, you’re scary. Now put the flashlight down. All I wanted was one night without the kid crap”	1.1947	0.04680	113	96	12	5
1735	And they were all out of tacos	1.1947	0.04329	113	94	16	3
1736	No more scary stories about evil knights.	1.1944	0.04643	108	91	13	4
1737	You're wasting the battery.	1.1944	0.04046	108	88	19	1
1738	but still, the meteor came closer & closer.......	1.1944	0.04254	108	89	17	2
1739	...and then, we suddenly disappeared!	1.1944	0.04643	108	91	13	4
1740	Dad,stop it; you look like a scary human!!!	1.1944	0.04453	108	90	15	3
1741	There was no escape . . . from the children under the bed.	1.1942	0.04791	103	87	12	4
1742	Do you see anything in my teeth?	1.1942	0.04588	103	86	14	3
1743	Stop it. You'll scare the kids.	1.1942	0.04791	103	87	12	4
1744	Yes, there's a small chunk of Iguanodon next to the incisor.	1.1942	0.04153	103	84	18	1
1745	If only you could breathe fire ... that would really be scary!	1.1939	0.04735	98	82	13	3
1746	stop it... Big Foot isn't real	1.1939	0.04735	98	82	13	3
1747	When you tell that story about the asteroid, it frightens the living daylights out of me	1.1939	0.04735	98	82	13	3
1748	Oh, what big teeth you have, grandma!	1.1939	0.04953	98	83	11	4
1749	Nice. Did you get fluoride too?	1.1939	0.04735	98	82	13	3
1750	And after he left for LaBrea, we never heard from Uncle Rex again.	1.1939	0.04508	98	81	15	2
1751	And then Rex said, Let there be light!	1.1939	0.04735	98	82	13	3
1752	I said find a left handed flashlight.	1.1939	0.04268	98	80	17	1
1753	And they’re called… FIREMEN!	1.1939	0.04735	98	82	13	3
1754	Nothing in biology makes sense except in the flashlight of evolution.	1.1939	0.04735	98	82	13	3
1755	You should brush your teeth, Fred.	1.1939	0.04735	98	82	13	3
1756	Whazzzzup	1.1938	0.03825	129	106	21	2
1757	TRY to set the night on fire?	1.1935	0.04897	93	78	12	3
1758	You look just like my first wife without her makeup.	1.1935	0.05130	93	79	10	4
1759	Suddenly, the evil creature was in front of her, with sharp little teeth and a glowing hand weapon, saying "Honey, I can't get a signal!!!"	1.1935	0.04897	93	78	12	3
1760	It was a dark and gloomy night….	1.1935	0.04897	93	78	12	3
1761	They say Beowulf still walks these woods.	1.1935	0.04652	93	77	14	2
1762	Hey! This is my Film Noir look. What do you think!?	1.1935	0.04897	93	78	12	3
1763	Then the child looked under the bed and screamed!	1.1935	0.04652	93	77	14	2
1764	My favorite is when they've just eaten s'mores!	1.1935	0.04394	93	76	16	1
1765	When the smoke had cleared, the forrest was filled with warm-blooded, furry mammals!	1.1935	0.04652	93	77	14	2
1766	...and then suddenly, from behind a tree...SAINT GEORGE!!!	1.1935	0.04897	93	78	12	3
1767	...and then they developed the opposable thumb! And that's when the trouble started.	1.1935	0.05130	93	79	10	4
1768	...and then HUMANS roamed the earth.	1.1935	0.04897	93	78	12	3
1769	The Future Looks Bright	1.1933	0.04349	119	100	15	4
1770	In the trail mix he found not chocolate, but dried cranberries.	1.1933	0.04665	119	102	11	6
1771	And they made them work and pay taxes forever!	1.1932	0.04531	88	72	15	1
1772	My god, you do sound like Dina Shore!	1.1932	0.05566	88	76	7	5
1773	Then they dug up all that was left of Edwin, reconstructed his petrified bones in a life-like position and mounted him for public display in the Academy of Sciences!	1.1932	0.05075	88	74	11	3
1774	I lost an arm in the tussle but I got his flashlight!	1.1932	0.05075	88	74	11	3
1775	OOOOOOO, that's spooky!	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
1776	Is there some of him between my teeth?	1.1930	0.04294	114	95	16	3
1777	Then the human smiled with its crazy bleached-white teeth at the big friendly dragon.	1.1930	0.04642	114	97	12	5
1778	And then the knight named George stopped the good dragon from eating the maiden.	1.1930	0.04294	114	95	16	3
1779	…and their skin is metal and they carry swords	1.1930	0.04109	114	94	18	2
1780	… and this is the story of how i met your Karen	1.1930	0.04471	114	96	14	4
1781	Welcome to Jurassic Park!	1.1927	0.04785	109	93	11	5
1782	Even humans don’t find that scary anymore	1.1927	0.04959	109	94	9	6
1783	I'm not sure about your advice of "Let bygones be bygones".	1.1927	0.04219	109	90	17	2
1784	And then we looked up and saw a meteor in the sky...	1.1927	0.04219	109	90	17	2
1785	There’s no Triceratops in your teeth, but you’re freaking me out. Put that thing down!	1.1927	0.04416	109	91	15	3
1786	As night fell, the hideous creature ate a sensible meal, read its book, and turned in early.	1.1927	0.04416	109	91	15	3
1787	Where are you going to get batteries for that thing?	1.1927	0.04604	109	92	13	4
1788	so... you invented the fire and the flashlight at the same time?	1.1923	0.04749	104	88	12	4
1789	Do I have any campers in my teeth?	1.1923	0.04749	104	88	12	4
1790	That's not scary. Your breath is scary.	1.1923	0.04749	104	88	12	4
1791	Thank you for trusting me with this.	1.1923	0.04548	104	87	14	3
1792	Does this make me look like a human?	1.1923	0.04338	104	86	16	2
1793	And then the little boy helped the old lady cross the street, squeezing her hand. And then she said "thank you!"	1.1923	0.04338	104	86	16	2
1794	Niagara Falls!!! Slowly I turned …	1.1923	0.04548	104	87	14	3
1795	[No caption needed, it’s hilarious just on its own]	1.1923	0.04548	104	87	14	3
1796	And then 231 million years after the meteor…..the Neanderthal’s descendants dig up our bones for display in museums. Would you like an ice cream now..?	1.1923	0.05127	104	90	8	6
1797	And if you say asteroid three times…	1.1923	0.04338	104	86	16	2
1798	Hey, remember how that first kid we ate was doing this?	1.1923	0.04548	104	87	14	3
1799	It was a dark and asteroidy night ...	1.1923	0.04941	104	89	10	5
1800	Just think, but for the asteroid missing the planet, our species might never have evolved!	1.1923	0.04749	104	88	12	4
1801	... and the devilish human condemned the poor dragon to spit fire when speaking ever after!	1.1920	0.03885	125	103	20	2
1802	See for yourself, whiteners work wonders.	1.1919	0.04691	99	83	13	3
1803	In 2 million years we’ll recharge these batteries	1.1919	0.04906	99	84	11	4
1804	You don’t look like my dad….	1.1919	0.04906	99	84	11	4
1805	I think battery power will replace fossil fuels in 300 million years--what say you?	1.1919	0.04466	99	82	15	2
1806	Are you trying to seduce me?	1.1915	0.05079	94	80	10	4
1807	'And then a meteorite struck and vaporized everyone's latte.'	1.1915	0.04849	94	79	12	3
1808	Thanks for lighting my fire.	1.1915	0.04351	94	77	16	1
1809	Campfire stories aren't scary when you're the monster.	1.1915	0.04351	94	77	16	1
1810	Boo! I'm a homo sapien!	1.1915	0.04351	94	77	16	1
1811	Hey man, you gotta stop drinking.	1.1915	0.04607	94	78	14	2
1812	…and then she said Dracarys!” 😬	1.1915	0.04351	94	77	16	1
1813	Are you scared yet?	1.1913	0.04077	115	95	18	2
1814	It got very quiet. And then a giant ball of fire ......	1.1913	0.04435	115	97	14	4
1815	Once upon a time, a very long time ago, there was a little man about five feet high, who brought us fire"	1.1910	0.05270	89	76	9	4
1816	And then he went like this.	1.1910	0.04761	89	74	13	2
1817	And then they increased their military budget… again!	1.1910	0.04761	89	74	13	2
1818	That's stupid, no one sleeps on TOP of the bed!	1.1910	0.04761	89	74	13	2
1819	Very amusing. Yeh, you have his flashlight but you didn't save me any Boy Scout!	1.1910	0.05270	89	76	9	4
1820	And they they grind up your bones to make jet fuel!	1.1910	0.04485	89	73	15	1
1821	I see dead species.	1.1910	0.04485	89	73	15	1
1822	For when you run out out of fossil fuel, bro!	1.1910	0.05022	89	75	11	3
1823	...And we'll be extinct, brouhahaha	1.1910	0.05022	89	75	11	3
1824	Pity it’s gonna take another 66 million years before they invent the battery…	1.1910	0.04485	89	73	15	1
1825	And under the bed,there was an ant!	1.1909	0.04745	110	94	11	5
1826	And there was a big flash of light and, suddenly, there was nothing but little rodents running everywhere!	1.1909	0.04745	110	94	11	5
1827	You’re right-it does bring out your inner reptile.	1.1909	0.03980	110	90	19	1
1828	And that's how peanut butter was invented.	1.1909	0.04745	110	94	11	5
1829	And then it got very very cold…	1.1909	0.04379	110	92	15	3
1830	And then the Saudis promised to give Bush petroleum...	1.1909	0.04184	110	91	17	2
1831	And then I used the principles of quantum physics coupled with Maxwell's Laws to get... Viola!	1.1908	0.04350	131	112	13	6
1832	… and then a giant asteroid will hit the earth!	1.1908	0.04213	131	111	15	5
1833	No. You don't look like Barney.	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
1834	There will be a big comet	1.1905	0.04707	105	89	12	4
1835	You’re wasting the batteries.	1.1905	0.04508	105	88	14	3
1836	When humans invent that, I don't know if they'll use it for telling spooky stories.	1.1905	0.04508	105	88	14	3
1837	Terrifying, sure — but not very flattering.	1.1905	0.05482	84	72	8	4
1838	And then suddenly Godzilla is standing in front of me and says, you call yourself a dragon?	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
1839	And I said, no thanks, no Girl Scout cookies today.	1.1901	0.04118	121	101	17	3
1840	I love spending these intimate moments with you	1.1901	0.03948	121	100	19	2
1841	Yes, uplighting really accentuates your dimples.	1.1900	0.04861	100	85	11	4
1842	And then the evil knight approached the sweet, sleeping, dragon...	1.1900	0.04426	100	83	15	2
1843	Dad, tell me again how they'll dig up my bones and put them in a museum which people can only see after paying some exorbitant fee unless they plan their visit sometime between 6 and 9pm every other Wednesday, in which case it's free.	1.1900	0.04861	100	85	11	4
1844	And then there was a big bang!	1.1900	0.04648	100	84	13	3
1845	…on their eyes were dark glass shields, on their backs—bulging packs, one red, one green, the soles of their feet, raked with ridges of rubber…	1.1900	0.04648	100	84	13	3
1846	He was doing this before I ate him. What do you think? Am I scary?	1.1897	0.04226	116	97	16	3
1847	You thought the story about the asteroid was scary, this next one’s about the hominids.	1.1895	0.04563	95	79	14	2
1848	This little light of mine,I'm gonna let it shine	1.1895	0.05030	95	81	10	4
1849	Then Puff went poof!	1.1895	0.04310	95	78	16	1
1850	You never exfoliate?	1.1895	0.04563	95	79	14	2
1851	His name was George, Saint George, and he had this really long lance . . .	1.1895	0.04310	95	78	16	1
1852	. . then the Girl Scouts dug up his bones - just to get a merit badge!	1.1895	0.04802	95	80	12	3
1853	You want a spooky story? Once upon a time two legged animals called humans took over the earth, 8 billion of them, and they burned the forests, and wrecked the planet! Thank goodness it's only a story.	1.1892	0.04876	111	96	9	6
1854	So then, he picks up his flash light to make a scary face like this, but it was actually his Light Sabre. That was one tasty, dumb Jedi."	1.1892	0.04343	111	93	15	3
1855	Just wait, man will claim credit for this too.	1.1892	0.03948	111	91	19	1
1856	It’s a good idea but how do you dispose of the batteries?	1.1892	0.04705	111	95	11	5
1857	And then a man with a long, red tie emerged from the shadows!	1.1892	0.04527	111	94	13	4
1858	I really don’t want to hear another comet ghost story Phil.	1.1892	0.04527	111	94	13	4
1859	See where I burned my tongue lighting the fire?	1.1889	0.04440	90	74	15	1
1860	Sorry, but I heard that story eons ago	1.1889	0.04713	90	75	13	2
1861	OK, it's funny. But somehow I don't think that's worth the boy scout you just ate.	1.1889	0.04970	90	76	11	3
1862	No, you don’t get it. The up lighting is the most important part.	1.1889	0.04970	90	76	11	3
1863	And those s'mores-eating creatures return every summer.	1.1887	0.04469	106	89	14	3
1864	and then he sang 'Barney is dinosaur from our imagination!'	1.1887	0.04665	106	90	12	4
1865	The future is electric	1.1887	0.04665	106	90	12	4
1866	Please, not another killer-comet story!	1.1887	0.04854	106	91	10	5
1867	And then the meteor came and crashed into earth!	1.1887	0.04469	106	89	14	3
1868	...and the clanking of the Knight's armour was coming from......inside the cave!!!	1.1887	0.04665	106	90	12	4
1869	What the Devil is that?	1.1887	0.04263	106	88	16	2
1870	And they tried to remake it… with MATTHEW BRODERICK!	1.1887	0.05036	106	92	8	6
1871	And then the knight fled in terror when he realized MY tokens are all fungible!	1.1885	0.04407	122	104	13	5
1872	This thing is defective. There's no fire!	1.1882	0.05157	85	72	10	3
1873	I dropped my phone in the fire. No more pics today.	1.1882	0.05422	85	73	8	4
1874	See, Hunter-gatherers stick to your gut, not to your teeth!	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
1875	I got this from the time machine	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
1876	Controversial Smithsothian Diorama Exhibit	1.1882	0.05157	85	72	10	3
1877	Look at me! No heat!	1.1881	0.04386	101	84	15	2
1878	Stop! You’ll make me laugh up a camper!	1.1881	0.04386	101	84	15	2
1879	Hey,look,my are not too short!	1.1881	0.04606	101	85	13	3
1880	You silly dragon! We already breathe fire!	1.1881	0.04606	101	85	13	3
1881	Can you come look at this? I’ve noticed a wart I’ve never seen before.	1.1881	0.04386	101	84	15	2
1882	How often do you get scaling done?	1.1880	0.04531	117	100	12	5
1883	Then came the meteor. And that’s what put the die in dinosaur.	1.1875	0.04756	96	81	12	3
1884	Let's skip the ghost stories and discuss how this planet will eventually be ghosting us out of evolution.	1.1875	0.04270	96	79	16	1
1885	I’m really turned on right now.	1.1875	0.04756	96	81	12	3
1886	Whoa! You look like a kid.	1.1875	0.04519	96	80	14	2
1887	I really don't need to see the remnants of that poor camper in your teeth.	1.1875	0.04307	112	94	15	3
1888	...and then you're in a movie with Jeff Goldblum...	1.1875	0.03961	128	107	18	3
1889	Well, it’s better than putting your chin in the fire.?	1.1875	0.04756	96	81	12	3
1890	OK I flossed. Do you see any bone fragments or human hair ?	1.1875	0.04519	96	80	14	2
1891	And after the big ball of fire hits we all become birds and little furry critters take over! Boo!	1.1875	0.04999	112	98	7	7
1892	It's got what we need, collagen.	1.1875	0.04307	112	94	15	3
1893	And then they called Godzilla a vegan!	1.1875	0.04756	96	81	12	3
1894	Once upon a time in a land called Honah Lee...	1.1875	0.04307	112	94	15	3
1895	One of the critters was doing this when they caught my attention.	1.1869	0.04430	107	90	14	3
1896	If you think that’s scary, watch me fart over the flames.	1.1869	0.04812	107	92	10	5
1897	Geez Zorn, you look scary enough without doing that!	1.1869	0.04430	107	90	14	3
1898	You’ve never looked so beautiful in your life.	1.1869	0.04625	107	91	12	4
1899	Smile, you're gonna be extinct.	1.1869	0.04013	107	88	18	1
1900	I'm just trying to figure out here what actually is "hellbent destruction" these days.	1.1869	0.04227	107	89	16	2
1901	Do I still have any of that camper in my teeth?	1.1868	0.04396	91	75	15	1
1902	And the meteor looked like THIS!	1.1868	0.04396	91	75	15	1
1903	You're always so dragon-centric.	1.1868	0.04108	91	74	17	0
1904	This is a lot more fun than fire and it doesn't burn!	1.1868	0.04396	91	75	15	1
1905	In a million years we'll be the star of our own movie.	1.1868	0.04665	91	76	13	2
1906	It was...warm-blooded.	1.1868	0.04665	91	76	13	2
1907	Then he said, "The asteroid is coming from INSIDE your solar system."	1.1868	0.04665	91	76	13	2
1908	Stop it, Gragnor, you're scaring me! You look like a human!	1.1864	0.03983	118	98	18	2
1909	...and out of the shadows came KING KONG	1.1863	0.04772	102	87	11	4
1910	And he was doing this right before I ate them. Do I seem scary?	1.1863	0.04346	102	85	15	2
1911	Do I have human stuck in my teeth?	1.1863	0.04971	102	88	9	5
1912	You look extinct!	1.1863	0.04971	102	88	9	5
1913	Let's elope. I no longer have cold feet.	1.1863	0.04564	102	86	13	3
1914	I found out what's inside little kids.	1.1860	0.05363	86	74	8	4
1915	Put that down, it probably has germs.	1.1860	0.05363	86	74	8	4
1916	Can you check - I think I have a Girl Scout badge stuck in my teeth?	1.1860	0.05612	86	75	6	5
1917	He was a human all along!	1.1860	0.05363	86	74	8	4
1918	.......Clark Gable......or King Kong?	1.1860	0.05363	86	74	8	4
1919	Do I resemble my profile pic now?	1.1860	0.05612	86	75	6	5
1920	With fire, why do we need a flashlight.	1.1858	0.04272	113	95	15	3
1921	Do you love my new scales? I feel really hot!	1.1858	0.04272	113	95	15	3
1922	It's always about you and your dentist!	1.1858	0.04627	113	97	11	5
1923	It was a dark and stormy night, without a single meteor in sight, when suddenly, blazing across the sky ....	1.1856	0.04476	97	81	14	2
1924	We wouldn’t be extinct if we invented this!	1.1856	0.04710	97	82	12	3
1925	Do I have any sleeping bag in my teeth?	1.1856	0.04933	97	83	10	4
1926	And it was a city made of Legos!	1.1856	0.04230	97	80	16	1
1927	Almost as scary as the fire.	1.1856	0.04476	97	81	14	2
1928	Don't worry though, the meteorite strikes in the western hemisphere, so it won't affect us here.	1.1856	0.04476	97	81	14	2
1929	I guess princes these days aren’t what they used to be.	1.1856	0.04710	97	82	12	3
1930	Prehistoric selfie	1.1856	0.04710	97	82	12	3
1931	Yes! we invented flashlight	1.1856	0.04476	97	81	14	2
1932	It was a dark and stormy night a one armed man had just escaped from prison!	1.1856	0.04933	97	83	10	4
1933	. . . and they lived happily ever after . . .	1.1855	0.04489	124	107	11	6
1934	And then they made a film even worse than the first three…	1.1852	0.04585	108	92	12	4
1935	A toast to our toastie tootsies.	1.1852	0.04393	108	91	14	3
1936	But the call was coming from on top of the bed!	1.1852	0.04191	108	90	16	2
1937	Look Bob.......I'm Puff the Magic Dragon!	1.1852	0.04585	108	92	12	4
1938	you're right. you're not as scary with the light on!	1.1852	0.04393	108	91	14	3
1939	Try this with your stupid fire!!	1.1852	0.04948	108	94	8	6
1940	What are marshmallows ?	1.1848	0.05110	92	79	9	4
1941	I found a smile..and it's just FOR YOU!!	1.1848	0.04870	92	78	11	3
1942	The dragon carried the princess to his lair, but she left him for a hedge fund guy.	1.1848	0.04870	92	78	11	3
1943	And then he says "Hi, I'm David and I'll be your server."	1.1848	0.04870	92	78	11	3
1944	.... and then there was an asteroid!	1.1848	0.04870	92	78	11	3
1945	Is Fred flintstone stuck in my teeth?	1.1848	0.04352	92	76	15	1
1946	That comet story was really scary Rex.	1.1848	0.04619	92	77	13	2
1947	In the Year Two Thousand	1.1845	0.04308	103	86	15	2
1948	Then suddenly, Japan started quantitative easing, plummeting gold futures worldwide ...	1.1845	0.04308	103	86	15	2
1949	Felix, maybe if the peasants see me smiling they'll like me better. What do you think?"	1.1845	0.04308	103	86	15	2
1950	Honey, you are such a dork...	1.1845	0.04523	103	87	13	3
1951	Frankly, I am getting tired of you forgetting the marshmallows and thinking that scaring me will make me forget your failure.	1.1845	0.04729	103	88	11	4
1952	Don't! I'll have nightmares!	1.1845	0.04081	103	85	17	1
1953	But Bilbo isn't real, right?	1.1845	0.04729	103	88	11	4
1954	Stop scaring me!	1.1842	0.04417	114	97	13	4
1955	And they will make jokes asking why we crossed the road!	1.1842	0.04050	114	95	17	2
1956	And he was never seen again. Well, I saw him. I ate him.	1.1842	0.04238	114	96	15	3
1957	It gives me a good idea of how you'll look in 60 million years.	1.1840	0.04156	125	106	15	4
1958	Now that we've lost our dungeons, we have to scare each other!	1.1839	0.04486	87	72	14	1
1959	Get a load of these pearly whites! I'm telling you, every firebreather should use my new toothpaste.	1.1839	0.05305	87	75	8	4
1960	And the mosquito will be preserved in amber!	1.1839	0.04486	87	72	14	1
1961	He was holding the flashlight just like this telling stories to his buddies when I got ‘em!	1.1839	0.05305	87	75	8	4
1962	So long as the batteries are good, the raptors will stay away.	1.1839	0.05047	87	74	10	3
1963	When the anthropologist took out his camera, I gave him a snort of fire and you should have seen him run. He dropped his flashlight.	1.1839	0.04775	87	73	12	2
1964	Ewww..David! You almost look human. Gross!	1.1839	0.04775	87	73	12	2
1965	You're scaring me, you look like a human!	1.1837	0.04191	98	81	16	1
1966	You were already scary	1.1837	0.04191	98	81	16	1
1967	And then the ghost appeared. It did not have any scales but was covered in FUR.	1.1837	0.04435	98	82	14	2
1968	And the Teacher says, "I'm giving the final exam today, NOT next week."	1.1837	0.04435	98	82	14	2
1969	It was a dark and stormy night. . . .	1.1837	0.05299	98	86	6	6
1970	It was the night before the great meteor....	1.1837	0.04435	98	82	14	2
1971	And that's the way it was, June 14th, 67 million years ago.	1.1837	0.04191	98	81	16	1
1972	Be careful, this story is petrifying!	1.1837	0.04886	98	84	10	4
1973	They're called mammals and have hair all over their bodies....	1.1837	0.03932	98	80	18	0
1974	That’s not what I meant when I told you to torch it…	1.1837	0.04666	98	83	12	3
1975	Goodnight moon. Goodnight trees. Goodnight asteroid.	1.1835	0.04355	109	92	14	3
1976	And her name was Karen...	1.1835	0.04729	109	94	10	5
1977	Darn, still there, I even flossed.	1.1835	0.03946	109	90	18	1
1978	...and the next morning....just as the wizard had predicted....the dragon had no fire in his mouth!...and it never came back.	1.1829	0.05243	82	70	9	3
1979	Oh Harry, you are handsome in any light.	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
1980	Do I look scary?	1.1829	0.05243	82	70	9	3
1981	Remember the old days before we had fire...	1.1828	0.04573	93	78	13	2
1982	That's one heck of a cavity you have there, Hal.	1.1828	0.04822	93	79	11	3
1983	Once upon a time, there was a glacier.	1.1828	0.04573	93	78	13	2
1984	Ooooo,good one. Now say “here’s Johnny!	1.1828	0.04822	93	79	11	3
1985	You see I told you it was good for something!	1.1828	0.05058	93	80	9	4
1986	C'mon Earl, not the damn asteroid story again	1.1828	0.04573	93	78	13	2
1987	But can you cook with it!?!	1.1828	0.04573	93	78	13	2
1988	And then some guy who calls himself George Santos got elected to Congress,	1.1828	0.05058	93	80	9	4
1989	Cute, but it doesn't change the fact that we're cold-blooded.	1.1828	0.04573	93	78	13	2
1990	Oh gee, thank god it missed	1.1828	0.04310	93	77	15	1
1991	OK, OK, you look like a meteorite. Why should that scare me?	1.1828	0.05058	93	80	9	4
1992	Nighty night. Don't let the asteroids bite.	1.1827	0.04270	104	87	15	2
1993	OMG, time for your dental cleaning.	1.1827	0.04483	104	88	13	3
1994	I still remember the time when I could fire-up and fume without criticism from anyone!	1.1827	0.04687	104	89	11	4
1995	And then it takes the AG so long to indict, HE RUNS AGAIN.	1.1827	0.04882	104	90	9	5
1996	And that’s the story of humans.	1.1826	0.04204	115	97	15	3
1997	His first name was King. And his last name was KONG!	1.1826	0.04204	115	97	15	3
1998	Nope, still not scary.	1.1825	0.03634	126	104	21	1
1999	And then, the asteroid came…	1.1818	0.03896	99	81	18	0
2000	And then he said, "I represent New York for the next two years, and you can't stop me!"	1.1818	0.04152	99	82	16	1
2001	When you said "Old time date night" - somehow I had something else in mind.	1.1818	0.04840	99	85	10	4
2002	It's not really making you any scarier looking.	1.1818	0.04994	88	75	10	3
2003	I know this because… I was that maniac!	1.1818	0.04622	99	84	12	3
2004	But your grandfather didn’t kill the big hairy ape so it’s still out there somewhere!	1.1818	0.05249	88	76	8	4
2005	See? You don't eat these!	1.1818	0.04121	110	92	16	2
2006	This is how our ancestors did it.	1.1818	0.04840	99	85	10	4
2007	Okay Mildred enough with the ghost stories… Let’s just sit back and watch the shooting stars, oh that’s a really really big one“	1.1818	0.05048	99	86	8	5
2008	But they ignored the warnings and in less than 100 years they became extinct!	1.1818	0.05048	99	86	8	5
2009	Any bits of human stuck in my teeth?	1.1818	0.04121	110	92	16	2
2010	Do you think I should whiten my teeth?	1.1818	0.04725	88	74	12	2
2011	And then he said, ‘Do you want some catsup with that?’	1.1818	0.04622	99	84	12	3
2012	Read my lips. I did not have sex with your sister. She just dropped off a cigar.	1.1818	0.04066	121	102	16	3
2013	And then, out of nowhere...an asteroid slammed into earth.	1.1818	0.03914	110	91	18	1
2014	Do I have s'mores stuck in my teeth?	1.1818	0.04440	88	73	14	1
2015	And just then, a giant moth saw the flashlight lighting up the forest . . ."	1.1818	0.04393	99	83	14	2
2016	And what should appear up in the sky but... an asteroid!!! ...Just kidding, asteroids aren't real." Andy Chen Mathieson, Los Angeles, Cali	1.1818	0.04994	88	75	10	3
2017	and then, out came a hideous scaly monster!	1.1818	0.03914	110	91	18	1
2018	You can't even tell I'm wearing braces, can you?	1.1818	0.04994	88	75	10	3
2019	Here's Johnny!	1.1818	0.04725	88	74	12	2
2020	What did the fox say???	1.1818	0.04066	121	102	16	3
2021	one day our bones will fuel the world	1.1818	0.04622	99	84	12	3
2022	It is I, the Tooth Fairy, and I will be paid.	1.1818	0.04440	88	73	14	1
2023	So lemme tell you about this new filling I have, see it? You'll never believe it, but I had to blah, blah, blah....	1.1818	0.04135	88	72	16	0
2024	Wow, that story is even more scary than the one about an asteroid hurtling towards earth	1.1818	0.04121	110	92	16	2
2025	Which is scarier, under my chin or above my head?	1.1818	0.04622	99	84	12	3
2026	Oooh, you look like your about to eat Cleveland!	1.1810	0.04645	105	90	11	4
2027	Meteor apocalypse tales before bed.	1.1810	0.04444	105	89	13	3
2028	Stop it Bronte. Smiles really freak me out.	1.1810	0.04645	105	90	11	4
2029	And they use the bones of little children like you to fuel their machines!	1.1810	0.04645	105	90	11	4
2030	- Which dinosaur likes rap music? - IDK, bro. - The velociRAPtor HAHAHAHA	1.1810	0.04838	105	91	9	5
2031	With all these balloons overhead nobody is scared of us anymore.	1.1810	0.04645	105	90	11	4
2032	Just then, a giant rock fell from the sky!	1.1810	0.04444	105	89	13	3
2033	and then, puff, he ended up in Honlea.	1.1810	0.04838	105	91	9	5
2034	No, the little boy isn't stuck between your teeth.	1.1809	0.04268	94	78	15	1
2035	Look! No Cavities.	1.1809	0.05008	94	81	9	4
2036	Our problem is that marshmallows won't be invented for another two million years.	1.1809	0.04528	94	79	13	2
2037	I want you to see me in my best light.	1.1809	0.04774	94	80	11	3
2038	And then, in the woods that night they heard the clink of chain mail. It was St George and he was coming for THEM!!"	1.1809	0.05008	94	81	9	4
2039	Want to hear a scary story?	1.1809	0.04774	94	80	11	3
2040	Check out this new fire stick! Not as scary, but way easier on the mouth!	1.1809	0.04774	94	80	11	3
2041	Anyone else you carry a torch for?	1.1809	0.04774	94	80	11	3
2042	So I said to the guy , hey, want a light "	1.1809	0.04528	94	79	13	2
2043	Can you see a zit on my chin?	1.1809	0.05231	94	82	7	5
2044	Then suddenly, the clown's face appeared at the entrance of our cave.	1.1809	0.04268	94	78	15	1
2045	Don't know why they do this, but they are easier to find!	1.1809	0.04268	94	78	15	1
2046	And there was a bright light as the asteroid hit the earth	1.1807	0.04582	83	69	13	1
2047	Oh my gosh! You look just like one of the humans in the story when you do that!	1.1802	0.04283	111	94	14	3
2048	...and someday, we'll all be gone, but we'll live on in an HBO spinoff series.	1.1802	0.04650	111	96	10	5
2049	Try to look more caring.	1.1802	0.04650	111	96	10	5
2050	And then St. George said…	1.1802	0.03665	111	91	20	0
2051	It’s daylight on a stick." Edith Birdsall, Houston, T	1.1800	0.04353	100	84	14	2
2052	And then, the small child leapt into the dragon's den with a nerf-gun!	1.1800	0.04579	100	85	12	3
2053	Yeah, that’s scary. Gotta trim those nose hairs.	1.1800	0.04579	100	85	12	3
2054	Hey Buddy, it’s about time to listen to your new generation’s amazing ideas.	1.1800	0.04795	100	86	10	4
2055	And then they burn your bones and use them to destroy the earth.	1.1800	0.04115	100	83	16	1
2056	And all they could find was our BONES!	1.1800	0.04579	100	85	12	3
2057	My teeth are my best asset.	1.1798	0.04941	89	76	10	3
2058	Then the hominids will come with their climate change and extinguish us.	1.1798	0.05193	89	77	8	4
2059	Eghads, he looked 20 years younger on Tinder.	1.1798	0.04941	89	76	10	3
2060	And then the human jumped out and yelled surprise	1.1792	0.03743	106	87	19	0
2061	And then, his dead bones were strung up in the atrium of a museum!	1.1792	0.04795	106	92	9	5
2062	And now for some scary people stories...	1.1792	0.04196	106	89	15	2
2063	worth a thousand words	1.1792	0.04604	106	91	11	4
2064	And there, falling from the sky, was an asteroid! Ahhhh! Ha ha ha. Just kidding.	1.1792	0.03743	106	87	19	0
2065	And then the sprinklers went off!	1.1789	0.04484	95	80	13	2
2066	You're such a Diva -- Always hogging the limelight!	1.1789	0.04484	95	80	13	2
2067	… When mountains crumble to the sea There will still be you and me.	1.1789	0.04227	95	79	15	1
2068	Thinking about reclaiming nature from humans	1.1789	0.04227	95	79	15	1
2069	'Not 'That's amore' again, Dino'	1.1789	0.04959	95	82	9	4
2070	The counselor used this light on his face and yelled "Surprise!" to the campers,... right before I ate him.	1.1786	0.04204	84	69	15	0
2071	Then the poor little dinosaurs saw a hideous ball of fire in the sky ... it was getting bigger ...	1.1786	0.04054	112	94	16	2
2072	No, not scary enough. I wish there was a two legged soft skinned and delicious species we could terrorize. Maybe someday....	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
2073	Stop that! It's terrifying! You look just like an 8-year-old human!	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
2074	Our appearance is too complex for the wall of a cave.	1.1786	0.05126	84	72	9	3
2075	And then they screamed something about a big rock falling from the sky, but I'm sure it is nothing to worry about.	1.1786	0.04838	84	71	11	2
2076	Yea Uncle Morty, that's really scary, but where are the 'smores you promised?	1.1786	0.04838	84	71	11	2
2077	This 'good.' Fossil fuels 'bad!' Understand?	1.1786	0.05399	84	73	7	4
2078	And then...they all evolved into — birds."	1.1782	0.04313	101	85	14	2
2079	Oh no, not the asteroid story!	1.1782	0.04313	101	85	14	2
2080	And then a huge asteroid crashed into the planet…	1.1782	0.04313	101	85	14	2
2081	And then a great fireball from the sky crashed into the earth and wiped us all out...Bwaaahaaahaaa!	1.1782	0.04537	101	86	12	3
2082	Let's do some karaoke while we're at it. Just for fun.	1.1782	0.04077	101	84	16	1
2083	Maybe scarier from the point of view of the guy you ate?	1.1782	0.04313	101	85	14	2
2084	Then out of nowhere a giant asteroid hit the earth.	1.1782	0.04313	101	85	14	2
2085	Come on man, stop scaring me!	1.1782	0.04077	101	84	16	1
2086	Stick with making fire.	1.1782	0.04537	101	86	12	3
2087	And then he said "'boo' who?"	1.1782	0.04537	101	86	12	3
2088	Hank, don’t! You know I have a thing about monsters in the night…	1.1778	0.05139	90	78	8	4
2089	I call this Godzilla lighting.	1.1778	0.04890	90	77	10	3
2090	And then they found the hook attached to the door handle.	1.1778	0.04350	90	75	14	1
2091	You can talk when I pass you the flashlight.	1.1778	0.04628	90	76	12	2
2092	The flashlight face is really scary, but drop that far-fetched meteor story."	1.1778	0.04890	90	77	10	3
2093	Hey, slow down, Rex! Don't worry, you'll be remembered	1.1778	0.04628	90	76	12	2
2094	I feel pretty, Oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright! And I pity Any girl who isn’t me tonight.	1.1776	0.04753	107	93	9	5
2095	"I still think your breath is scarier..."	1.1776	0.04367	107	91	13	3
2096	And they lived happily ever after in endless Jurassic Park sequels.	1.1776	0.04367	107	91	13	3
2097	And then an asteroid came and killed them all!	1.1776	0.04160	107	90	15	2
2098	We escaped and destroyed everything the humans created. Except this flashlight.	1.1774	0.03975	124	105	16	3
2099	It was a dark and stormy night; 'round the campfire humans sat...	1.1772	0.05018	79	67	10	2
2100	Stop it. I'm already scared because I'm sure I heard humans out there.	1.1771	0.04682	96	82	11	3
2101	You look like a monster!	1.1771	0.04910	96	83	9	4
2102	I "light up your life"!	1.1771	0.04187	96	80	15	1
2103	Hammacher Schlemmer.	1.1771	0.04682	96	82	11	3
2104	And then, the knight rode up on his steed wearing asbestos armor carrying a fire extinguisher.	1.1771	0.04682	96	82	11	3
2105	And The Rock jumped out of nowhere!	1.1771	0.04187	96	80	15	1
2106	I got that part in "The Last of Us".	1.1771	0.04682	96	82	11	3
2107	While Impressive,D cells don’t last as long.	1.1765	0.03793	102	84	18	0
2108	And then they'll dig up our skeletons and put them on display for groups of schoolchildren to gawk at!	1.1765	0.04484	85	71	13	1
2109	Light make me look SCARY?	1.1765	0.03707	119	99	19	1
2110	Look at this thing I found after they ran away	1.1765	0.04275	102	86	14	2
2111	Will that supersede my patent for fire?	1.1765	0.03894	119	100	17	2
2112	No, you don’t look like a monster.	1.1765	0.04275	102	86	14	2
2113	Some say it will be a large falling rock from space that will kill us all, others say the eruption of a giant volcano, but my guess is some kind of virus brought back by the time traveler that give me this flashlight.	1.1765	0.04707	102	88	10	4
2114	Thanks to the torchlight! Now, nothing seems scary.	1.1765	0.05070	85	73	9	3
2115	And the five little bunnies lived happily every after!	1.1765	0.04786	85	72	11	2
2116	I look funny now, don’t I?!	1.1765	0.04786	85	72	11	2
2117	And then, on the car-door handle, they found a claw!	1.1765	0.04496	102	87	12	3
2118	Suddenly there came a tapping…	1.1765	0.04409	119	103	11	5
2119	Then they came after the Wooly Mammoth, but since I wasn't a Wooly Mammoth__.	1.1765	0.05070	85	73	9	3
2120	Then one night a meteor	1.1765	0.04496	102	87	12	3
2121	Any requests?	1.1765	0.04496	102	87	12	3
2122	I have no idea what it is, but I think it makes me look scarier from this angle.	1.1760	0.04106	125	107	14	4
2123	…and then on the way to her grandmothers house, the light revealed a hungry meat-eating human!	1.1759	0.04712	108	94	9	5
2124	You always say your inventions are going to change the world.	1.1759	0.04329	108	92	13	3
2125	This is the story of a shooting star that kept getting bigger and bigger…	1.1759	0.04329	108	92	13	3
2126	Don’t worry. We’ll survive on our extincts.	1.1759	0.04124	108	91	15	2
2127	Maybe it's me, but all I see is your head between two mountains...so, not scary.	1.1758	0.04581	91	77	12	2
2128	Blanche Neige avait vraiment grillé ses 7 nains ?	1.1758	0.05086	91	79	8	4
2129	We don't need no stinking moon.	1.1758	0.04581	91	77	12	2
2130	And then they saw a great ball of fire racing across the sky!	1.1758	0.05086	91	79	8	4
2131	It was a dark and stormy night, as the meteor hurtled through the sky....	1.1758	0.04840	91	78	10	3
2132	And all that will be left of us is a pile of bones. The end.	1.1758	0.04581	91	77	12	2
2133	Who says man invented fire or the flashlight?	1.1758	0.04013	91	75	16	0
2134	See, I told you I could get scarier looking.	1.1758	0.04840	91	78	10	3
2135	Ooh, creepy— imitating a human!	1.1758	0.04581	91	77	12	2
2136	It’s me, Beowulf!	1.1758	0.04840	91	78	10	3
2137	Was that before DLM?	1.1758	0.04840	91	78	10	3
2138	And then I went over to them and made this scary face and they just laughed”	1.1754	0.04360	114	98	12	4
2139	The dinosaurs heard a loud whoosh … and then an asteroid appeared!	1.1753	0.04399	97	82	13	2
2140	.. and unbeknownst to Smaug, Heracles slipped quietly into the lair!	1.1753	0.03880	97	80	17	0
2141	And they ran and ran but the meteor kept coming!!	1.1753	0.04399	97	82	13	2
2142	After they ate the cows, the earth froze.	1.1753	0.04863	97	84	9	4
2143	And then they realized…the monster was me!	1.1753	0.04148	97	81	15	1
2144	You have no metaphysical presense and have been reduced from historical iconography of wrath and gluttony into a camp characiture just to give some centrist liberal on the Upper West Side a quick snort!	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
2145	Getting your teeth capped DOES make you look 3 centuries younger!	1.1750	0.04275	80	66	14	0
2146	Trust me. This survival training is important!	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
2147	Sure, it’s plenty bright, but it’s not nearly as warm.	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
2148	Cheer up, Ty. They say some big-time heat is coming...from heaven, no less.	1.1750	0.05562	80	70	6	4
2149	Oh, scare-eee, Uncle Marduk. Now can we make smores?"	1.1748	0.04236	103	87	14	2
2150	And just as suddenly as he tiptoed around the dark corner, the triceratops was confronted with the most frightening creature of all: a HUMAN.	1.1748	0.04455	103	88	12	3
2151	....and then the used car salesman yanked off his mask to reveal that most reviled, cold-hearted, bloodthirsty of creatures, the dreaded Hollywood entertainment lawyer.	1.1748	0.04455	103	88	12	3
2152	Boo! I'm Marjorie Taylor Greene!	1.1748	0.04455	103	88	12	3
2153	And the gold turned out to be chocolate coins.	1.1744	0.04734	86	73	11	2
2154	Thant’s not funny George!!!	1.1744	0.04436	86	72	13	1
2155	And then a big asteroid wiped out the entire population	1.1744	0.04116	86	71	15	0
2156	I prefer the warmth of a flame	1.1744	0.04734	86	73	11	2
2157	Before Dinosaurs Had Television	1.1744	0.05534	86	76	5	5
2158	We aren’t scary doing this. But the humans certainly are.	1.1744	0.04436	86	72	13	1
2159	Using the dwindling power from our flashlight when we have a perfectly good campfire here, I must be... A MONSTERRR!!!	1.1744	0.05281	86	75	7	4
2160	And then, a wild human emerged from the darkness!	1.1743	0.04486	109	94	11	4
2161	I don't know if I like it or not!	1.1743	0.04292	109	93	13	3
2162	And then a huge fireball flew through the sky...	1.1743	0.04292	109	93	13	3
2163	Careful you don't attract Mothra again. Those two little girls ate all our marshmallows.	1.1743	0.04292	109	93	13	3
2164	Jurassic Park VII: Carry on Campersaurus	1.1743	0.04090	109	92	15	2
2165	That's not scary at all.	1.1739	0.04535	92	78	12	2
2166	And then they realized that the real Dragon slayer was me	1.1739	0.04791	92	79	10	3
2167	Stop ghosting me!	1.1739	0.04791	92	79	10	3
2168	He climbed up the Empire State Building-- and the CGI was bad	1.1739	0.04535	92	78	12	2
2169	Now you see me,now you don	1.1739	0.04535	92	78	12	2
2170	Hey Brad, you have a wart I never noticed before!	1.1739	0.04535	92	78	12	2
2171	Imitating the cruel humans	1.1739	0.04263	92	77	14	1
2172	...and then the evil metal-clad man slayed the young dragon with his sword and rode away with the woman from the tower, and lived a miserable life in a capitalist world...	1.1739	0.04791	92	79	10	3
2173	that pink bunny we had for dinner said it would last forever	1.1739	0.04535	92	78	12	2
2174	Let’s Scare E-long! Or Best ! Let’s get That Congress Thing! Humans talk about!	1.1739	0.05034	92	80	8	4
2175	I got this from the ancient incinerated city ... pretty scary - eh?	1.1739	0.04791	92	79	10	3
2176	Does my head look big in this?	1.1739	0.04263	92	77	14	1
2177	One gray night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more.	1.1735	0.04358	98	83	13	2
2178	And it wasn't a big fiery ball that destroyed humanity, it was a little box everyone carried in their pockets."	1.1735	0.05030	98	86	7	5
2179	And then the giant meteor hit!	1.1735	0.04109	98	82	15	1
2180	Boo! Now I'm Paul Gosar!	1.1735	0.04593	98	84	11	3
2181	And . . . after I ate the backpacker, I picked up this cool flashlight!	1.1735	0.04358	98	83	13	2
2182	Maybe it will scare the campers, but I honestly just don't feel it.	1.1735	0.05030	98	86	7	5
2183	....and the pink, hairless monkeys made cowboy boots from our skin and wore our teeth around their necks.	1.1735	0.04816	98	85	9	4
2184	And then one night a giant meteor appeared in the sky...	1.1735	0.04358	98	83	13	2
2185	..And then something looking like me appeared through the trees.	1.1735	0.04109	98	82	15	1
2186	Your teeth look fine, just put away the flashlight already!	1.1735	0.04109	98	82	15	1
2187	…Some say that the campfire horror story is a tradition that goes back as far as the early Mesozoic Era.	1.1735	0.04109	98	82	15	1
2188	And then they rebuilt with steel.	1.1731	0.03728	104	86	18	0
2189	Hey, I think you've got some leftover pete in your teeth. I'm assuming things didn't end well?	1.1731	0.04622	104	90	10	4
2190	And then, after three days in the cave, HE CAME BACK!”	1.1731	0.03970	104	87	16	1
2191	And then the planet...	1.1731	0.04622	104	90	10	4
2192	Guess it really is light or flight	1.1728	0.04227	81	67	14	0
2193	...and then there's the one about the knight with the golden arm...	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
2194	And then we became extinct. The end.	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
2195	Take this if you're afraid of of the big bad wolf.	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
2196	Then the dragon said, "Prince Charming, your demise looms. You have brought a sword to a fire fight!"	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
2197	Oooooh scary! Now where are the marshmallows?	1.1728	0.05209	81	70	8	3
2198	Scary,right?!	1.1724	0.04961	87	75	9	3
2199	…and they lived happily ever after!	1.1724	0.04389	87	73	13	1
2200	No, not the asteroid story! It’s too scary!	1.1724	0.04684	87	74	11	2
2201	Does this flashlight make me look scary?	1.1724	0.04961	87	75	9	3
2202	Stop it! You look like a Camp Counselor.	1.1724	0.04684	87	74	11	2
2203	Not your normal museum teeth.	1.1724	0.04073	87	72	15	0
2204	I keep a flashlight on all night. If I don't, that scary little kid who lives under my nest will try to eat me.	1.1724	0.04961	87	75	9	3
2205	After millions of years of evolution, we finally have opposable thumbs...and this is what you do with them?	1.1724	0.04389	87	73	13	1
2206	I resent being called a luditte.	1.1724	0.04389	87	73	13	1
2207	Stop! That part isn't edible!	1.1724	0.04389	87	73	13	1
2208	...and the asteroid appeared to get bigger, and bigger, and bigger!	1.1724	0.04112	116	99	14	3
2209	Not quite. If you really want to scare them, stop flossing your teeth.	1.1724	0.04684	87	74	11	2
2210	The scariest part of the story is no matter how much I shaved, they still called me the bearded dragon.	1.1720	0.05213	93	82	6	5
2211	... and then they all vanished!	1.1720	0.04490	93	79	12	2
2212	... and King Kong reigns over New York City to this very day.	1.1720	0.04490	93	79	12	2
2213	A meteor?! Fred, have you been listening to those podcasts again?	1.1720	0.04983	93	81	8	4
2214	Does this make me look human?	1.1720	0.04490	93	79	12	2
2215	...And then the rodents and the other furry mammals conspired to take over the whole world.	1.1720	0.04221	93	78	14	1
2216	Before you go any further, I need to go to the bathroom.	1.1720	0.04743	93	80	10	3
2217	Call me old fashioned. I prefer a slow burning fire to a slick torch you got from homo sapient	1.1720	0.05432	93	83	4	6
2218	“ I bet you thought I was the boogey man “	1.1720	0.04743	93	80	10	3
2219	The downside is that you can’t roast marshmallows on it.	1.1717	0.04549	99	85	11	3
2220	And out stepped a human from the minivan!	1.1717	0.04549	99	85	11	3
2221	So you can make a scary face! Big deal. Where're you gonna get batteries for that thing? Costco?	1.1717	0.04771	99	86	9	4
2222	Seriously ... Pete Davidson, right?	1.1717	0.04982	99	87	7	5
2223	Let me tell you a little story about St. George.	1.1714	0.04162	105	89	14	2
2224	Baby baby light my fire	1.1714	0.03696	105	87	18	0
2225	They ate so many of them, the campers came back...up!!	1.1714	0.04581	105	91	10	4
2226	Ooh look out, I'm a scary asteroid!	1.1714	0.04162	105	89	14	2
2227	They left this! Do I look scary? Why do they always run away?	1.1711	0.04734	76	64	11	1
2228	Legend has it that millions of years from now, tiny people will excavate our bones and reassemble our skeletons.	1.1707	0.04848	82	70	10	2
2229	I'm smiling because my feet are warm and I look really scary.	1.1707	0.04181	82	68	14	0
2230	Beam me up Scottie. Get it? Beam? Oh never mind.	1.1707	0.04527	82	69	12	1
2231	...and then, the police told her, the calls were coming from INSIDE her cave!!!	1.1707	0.05149	82	71	8	3
2232	…and it’s said that St. George still haunts these woods today!	1.1707	0.04848	82	70	10	2
2233	It was ghastly - it walked upright on two legs and had no tail, scales or fiery breath at all!	1.1705	0.04634	88	75	11	2
2234	Once upon a time there was a very scary dragon . . .	1.1705	0.04634	88	75	11	2
2235	You’re being childish, Marvin.	1.1705	0.04343	88	74	13	1
2236	You’re more beautiful than ever	1.1705	0.04908	88	76	9	3
2237	One week’s growth.	1.1705	0.04634	88	75	11	2
2238	...then the sun disappeared and there was a huge fireball that burned for 40 days!	1.1705	0.04343	88	74	13	1
2239	It takes a lot more than that to scare me!	1.1705	0.04343	88	74	13	1
2240	And suddenly, the paleontologist vanished. They say he still walks these woods.	1.1705	0.04908	88	76	9	3
2241	..And when your bones turn to goo.. ..they BURN what’s left!	1.1705	0.05167	88	77	7	4
2242	And the museum was filled with our bones.	1.1705	0.04908	88	76	9	3
2243	Did you forget the s’mores?	1.1705	0.04031	88	73	15	0
2244	And then he he came near me and drew his sword and the great Beowulf was defeated.	1.1705	0.04634	88	75	11	2
2245	And then they rebuilt the park thinking it would be different…	1.1705	0.04908	88	76	9	3
2246	He looked something like this!	1.1702	0.04696	94	81	10	3
2247	So what! Your face and my ass!	1.1702	0.04696	94	81	10	3
2248	And what happened after the meteor hit?	1.1702	0.04180	94	79	14	1
2249	I’ve seen THE light.	1.1702	0.04180	94	79	14	1
2250	Then suddenly! A low moaning voice! Bring me back my eggs!	1.1702	0.04180	94	79	14	1
2251	Once upon a time there lived a fat, hideous monster named Harvey Weinstein...	1.1702	0.04446	94	80	12	2
2252	Let’s tell scary stories!	1.1702	0.04933	94	82	8	4
2253	Tell me the one about the little old lady hunting for an alligator handbag.	1.1702	0.04180	94	79	14	1
2254	..and so the Girl Scout banged on the door and whipped out a box of SNICKERDOODLES!!!!	1.1702	0.05160	94	83	6	5
2255	…and all that remained were the cockroaches.	1.1702	0.04446	94	80	12	2
2256	Then this giant asteroid....	1.1700	0.04277	100	85	13	2
2257	You're scaring me	1.1700	0.04034	100	84	15	1
2258	Your knight time stories are so scary	1.1700	0.04277	100	85	13	2
2259	Look at me, I have a better light! Everybody can look at me! Yes, but I am hot with fire.	1.1700	0.04034	100	84	15	1
2260	...then after the asteroid hit, the tiny, hairy, mammals took over the world!	1.1700	0.04507	100	86	11	3
2261	And the this big, big rock came out of the sky, and poof!	1.1700	0.04507	100	86	11	3
2262	Fe Fi Fo Fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman!	1.1700	0.04034	100	84	15	1
2263	And in a flash of light, they all ceased to exist… forever	1.1700	0.04277	100	85	13	2
2264	My turn to tell a human story!!	1.1698	0.04126	106	90	14	2
2265	Let there be fright!	1.1698	0.04126	106	90	14	2
2266	Aaaaahhh. That’s the scariest human I’ve ever seen.	1.1698	0.04338	106	91	12	3
2267	Don't do that! I won't be able to get to sleep tonight.	1.1698	0.04126	106	90	14	2
2268	...and the hairless apes send the planet back to the hot protosaur age...	1.1698	0.03902	106	89	16	1
2269	Yes, I’m the enlightened one.	1.1695	0.04047	118	101	14	3
2270	And then the humans started driving electric cars and they stopped relying on our remains.	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
2271	Please tell me this isn’t what you meant by amazing campfire entertainment ?	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
2272	And then they put his remains into a 1982 Toyota Starlet, where he was never heard from again!	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
2273	Switch it to flashing, it's scarier.	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
2274	Once upon a Triassic Period...	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
2275	I feel detached from your tale.	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
2276	And then they pave... EVERYTHING!	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
2277	But instead of a shooting star, it was an asteroid!	1.1688	0.05359	77	67	7	3
2278	I Love A Rainy Night". Bad song choice	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
2279	then the sun went dark and a biiiig rock appeared in the sky...	1.1687	0.04793	83	71	10	2
2280	I've given up on fire breathing. This is much more efficient.	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
2281	Yes, yes, they'll look very nice in a museum	1.1687	0.05639	83	74	4	5
2282	The vorpal blade went snicker-snack? You	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
2283	Nah, not working. You're just not scary looking.	1.1687	0.05091	83	72	8	3
2284	Don’t look up!	1.1687	0.05091	83	72	8	3
2285	Stop it! You're scaring me, Dad!	1.1685	0.04299	89	75	13	1
2286	Very Funny. You don't look anything like an asteroid.	1.1685	0.04586	89	76	11	2
2287	And the asteroid got closer and closer...	1.1685	0.04299	89	75	13	1
2288	How do you feel about extinction?	1.1685	0.04856	89	77	9	3
2289	I bet humans do this, then tell stories about us.	1.1685	0.04299	89	75	13	1
2290	Only then did they notice the hook on the end of her tail.	1.1685	0.04586	89	76	11	2
2291	I can see that you are very hungry, but be patient. The kids will be here with Beyond Meat hotdogs before you know it.	1.1685	0.04299	89	75	13	1
2292	They were telling some story about us and one of them was doing this with the flashlight... anyway yeah I ate all those kids.	1.1684	0.04402	95	81	12	2
2293	Yeah, yeah. We've heard the one about the big asteroid that's going to wipe us all out. Got anything really scary?	1.1684	0.04402	95	81	12	2
2294	If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times, overhead soft halo light.	1.1684	0.04402	95	81	12	2
2295	Looks like somebody isn't flossing.	1.1684	0.04402	95	81	12	2
2296	It was a knightmare.	1.1684	0.04402	95	81	12	2
2297	And, from out of nowhere, comes hurtling a giant boulder!	1.1684	0.04884	95	83	8	4
2298	Behold, am I not beautiful?	1.1684	0.04402	95	81	12	2
2299	...and he reached out with her fleshy hand and roasted - a marshmallow!	1.1684	0.04402	95	81	12	2
2300	Ask me a question and you'll see if I'm telling the truth.	1.1684	0.04650	95	82	10	3
2301	I think they make me look a million years younger, don't you?	1.1684	0.04402	95	81	12	2
2302	And then Biden stepped into the shower with his daughter...	1.1683	0.04238	101	86	13	2
2303	My Uncle Trumposaurus says your campfire stories about a horrible meteorite are too impossible to be frightening.	1.1683	0.04238	101	86	13	2
2304	Dude, he woke up in a tar pit and his gizzard had been surgically removed	1.1683	0.04238	101	86	13	2
2305	You are the spitting image of your mother.	1.1683	0.04682	101	88	9	4
2306	Telling ghost stories around the camp-fire goes back millions of years!	1.1682	0.04300	107	92	12	3
2307	Ohhh! You are a tyrant! Julius? Do me a favor. GROW UP!!	1.1682	0.04500	107	93	10	4
2308	Oh No,” he shuddered. That tasty-looking body he soon discovered was made of aluminum.	1.1682	0.04692	107	94	8	5
2309	Cut it out, Spike! No more creepy mammal stories!	1.1682	0.04090	107	91	14	2
2310	And when they looked under the bed, they found... an asteroid!	1.1667	0.04091	84	70	14	0
2311	Then humans developed fusion technology and there was no longer enough radiation to create baby Godzillas.	1.1667	0.04604	96	83	10	3
2312	How in Hell's name did you learn to operate a flashlight!?	1.1667	0.04360	96	82	12	2
2313	What's scary about a boy named Jackie Paper, some strings & sealing wax?	1.1667	0.05600	78	69	5	4
2314	He looked under his bed…AND THERE WAS AN ASTEROID!	1.1667	0.04806	90	78	9	3
2315	I heard batteries are made by a bunny.	1.1667	0.04199	102	87	13	2
2316	It's Karaoke night	1.1667	0.04837	96	84	8	4
2317	I can't wait until they invent floss.	1.1667	0.04604	96	83	10	3
2318	And then the boy scout jumped out and said, "My therapist will never believe this!"	1.1667	0.04360	96	82	12	2
2319	You forgot the marshmallows, Again!"	1.1667	0.04199	102	87	13	2
2320	Booo! I'm a meat eater!	1.1667	0.04427	84	71	12	1
2321	Do ya think they'll recognize me from Jurassic park?" tracy brown, san rafael, c	1.1667	0.04604	96	83	10	3
2322	I know you like scary stories, but these humans are going to give me nightmares!	1.1667	0.04539	90	77	11	2
2323	And PUFF was never seen again	1.1667	0.04424	102	88	11	3
2324	This is me in a previous life	1.1667	0.04740	84	72	10	2
2325	Can we store heat,in case there’s an ice age?	1.1667	0.04837	96	84	8	4
2326	…then the knight got off his horse and said…GOTCHA!	1.1667	0.04539	90	77	11	2
2327	That’s when they raised the social security benefit age to 68.	1.1667	0.04199	102	87	13	2
2328	Ooooh! I’m a human!	1.1667	0.04427	84	71	12	1
2329	Hideous! Who does your injections.	1.1667	0.05294	78	68	7	3
2330	Whoa Larry! That's the scariest face I've seen since the Jurassic period!	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
2331	Bring on global warming!”	1.1667	0.04263	108	93	12	3
2332	It doesn't work. You're just too handsome!	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
2333	There’s No Business Like Show Business Like No Business I Know….	1.1667	0.04843	102	90	7	5
2334	You really gotta come up with something new to scare the kids.	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
2335	Grrr! I’m a big bad human.	1.1667	0.05059	90	79	7	4
2336	We should bury this stuff next to our wheel before the next age gets underway.	1.1667	0.04604	96	83	10	3
2337	And then… he slipped into his sandals — while wearing socks!	1.1667	0.03961	102	86	15	1
2338	No, it's Energizer. I ate the very annoying bunny.	1.1667	0.05034	84	73	8	3
2339	And then the prince kissed her!	1.1667	0.04263	108	93	12	3
2340	0oooh, another scary one…or is that just you smiling?	1.1667	0.04360	96	82	12	2
2341	And their arms are almost as long as their legs.	1.1667	0.03616	120	101	18	1
2342	…then the frog turned into a prince and they lived happily ever after!	1.1667	0.04247	78	65	13	0
2343	Stop it! Wait for the kids to show up!	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
2344	I tell you, this laser sword is pretty useless	1.1667	0.04100	96	81	14	1
2345	At this point the flashlight is simply a formality	1.1667	0.04539	90	77	11	2
2346	As the T-Rex's massive teeth crushed the bones of the last human alive, he cried out, "That meteor story was bullshit!"	1.1667	0.04427	84	71	12	1
2347	So this skin care routine I found on tiktok…	1.1667	0.05311	84	74	6	4
2348	Suddenly , three really scary teenagers jumped out of the dark! So I ate them!	1.1667	0.04427	84	71	12	1
2349	And then he said 'Let's play a little game. I've taped the antidote to your back. All you have to do is grab and you live.'	1.1667	0.04100	96	81	14	1
2350	No, I wouldn't call it gilding the lily.	1.1667	0.04117	114	98	13	3
2351	That 2nd chin is pretty scary.	1.1667	0.04740	84	72	10	2
2352	IS THIS SCARY ENOUGH?	1.1667	0.04255	90	76	13	1
2353	They believed us when we told them we were selling campfire cookies!	1.1667	0.04740	84	72	10	2
2354	…And there was no Universal Health Care…	1.1667	0.03721	114	96	17	1
2355	Don't be scared, it's called an evolutionary anachronism.	1.1667	0.04424	102	88	11	3
2356	And then Trevor from accounts payable walked by my desk a THIRD TIME!	1.1667	0.04806	90	78	9	3
2357	And THEN, the evil townspeople called the fire department on the poor old dragon.	1.1652	0.04083	115	99	13	3
2358	And then the disgusting child woke the sleeping little dragon...	1.1651	0.04423	109	95	10	4
2359	And then they saved fifteen percent on their cave insurance.	1.1651	0.04020	109	93	14	2
2360	just then she realized, it was the very same orange-haired, blob-like creature, evilly grinning at her … from behind the Resolute Desk	1.1651	0.04226	109	94	12	3
2361	Now you get to see the real me at night.	1.1651	0.04020	109	93	14	2
2362	Daaaaddd! Stop with those scary faces!!	1.1651	0.03803	109	92	16	1
2363	It saves on the heartburn.	1.1650	0.03676	103	86	17	0
2364	Where did you find D-cell batteries so long after the holidays?	1.1650	0.04384	103	89	11	3
2365	There they were, the creatures with cell phones for hands...	1.1650	0.04384	103	89	11	3
2366	And when the dragon opened the door to the tower, the princess wasn't there!	1.1650	0.03926	103	87	15	1
2367	Wait...you ate your own right arm?	1.1650	0.04384	103	89	11	3
2368	suddenly ghastly George appeared and he was No Saint!	1.1650	0.04161	103	88	13	2
2369	please not scary human stories again!	1.1649	0.04061	97	82	14	1
2370	I always wanted to be in the spotlight. Born to be a star	1.1649	0.04061	97	82	14	1
2371	Don't, it makes you look like a monster!	1.1649	0.04560	97	84	10	3
2372	An Asteroid? No way!	1.1649	0.04560	97	84	10	3
2373	I'm pretty sure the Chinese Balloon can't track us here	1.1649	0.04560	97	84	10	3
2374	Glad to see you leaning in.	1.1648	0.04212	91	77	13	1
2375	And then the asteroid got closer....and closer...until...	1.1648	0.04756	91	79	9	3
2376	...and so, on dark nights like this one, the headless cartoonist searches for incongruous tropes and a flashlight, just like this one.	1.1648	0.04492	91	78	11	2
2377	You are so much bigger in person than on Zoom.	1.1648	0.04492	91	78	11	2
2378	Your terrifying human face needs some work.	1.1648	0.04212	91	77	13	1
2379	Sorry, Ralph, I'm just not buying it.	1.1648	0.04212	91	77	13	1
2380	I still think they taste better cooked over the open flame.	1.1648	0.04756	91	79	9	3
2381	Eeeeek, look, I'm a scary monster ...	1.1648	0.04756	91	79	9	3
2382	So he says to me…’I’m gonna slay you’ and I say to him…’Georgie, you ain’t no saint’.	1.1648	0.04756	91	79	9	3
2383	Flossing - I’ve never heard of it	1.1648	0.04212	91	77	13	1
2384	And the human was in the backseat!	1.1648	0.04756	91	79	9	3
2385	Bloody ferns! Bloooooooooooody ferns!	1.1648	0.05245	91	81	5	5
2386	Before you show that off to our dates, you might want to know you have food stuck between your teeth.	1.1648	0.04756	91	79	9	3
2387	Who do I look most like?	1.1648	0.04212	91	77	13	1
2388	Don't do that... you're scaring me!	1.1648	0.04212	91	77	13	1
2389	Once upon a time, there lived a species known as humans who doomed the world.	1.1648	0.03911	91	76	15	0
2390	Pretty scary Halloween outfit, right?	1.1648	0.04756	91	79	9	3
2391	Travolta, Godzilla, The Joker, Julia Roberts -- I can do them all.	1.1648	0.04756	91	79	9	3
2392	Stop it, Sharon, you know I can’t handle stories with princes in them, not after the incident!	1.1648	0.04756	91	79	9	3
2393	You should have seen how I scared that stegosaurus that was sleeping in the woods.	1.1647	0.04688	85	73	10	2
2394	You look like Godzilla after eating Tokyo.	1.1647	0.04047	85	71	14	0
2395	Didn't I tell you that if we tried hard we could light a fire.	1.1647	0.04978	85	74	8	3
2396	Slowly, in the darkness, the magic spell made his arms longer, and longer, until suddenly…HE COULD SCRATCH HIS BACK!	1.1647	0.04688	85	73	10	2
2397	Old folks say, the species that made this kind of stuff had disappeared after a big asteroid explosion	1.1647	0.04047	85	71	14	0
2398	It's not the dark you have to worry about, it's the things that go bump in the night.	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
2399	Scared? Do I look like Trump?	1.1647	0.04978	85	74	8	3
2400	One day,a comet appeared	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
2401	Yeah, that outta keep the mosquitos away.	1.1647	0.04688	85	73	10	2
2402	Forget about it, Jake. I'm not in the mood.	1.1647	0.05252	85	75	6	4
2403	...and every midnight the ghost of St George passes through this neck of the woods.	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
2404	And so this asteroid comes streaking out of the sky and kills us all!	1.1646	0.04911	79	68	9	2
2405	In the year 2023, you'll be anthropomorphized	1.1646	0.04911	79	68	9	2
2406	…pollution led to severe climate change and eventually to human extinction….	1.1638	0.04733	116	104	5	7
2407	I dare you to run by the tar pits & listen for the cheers from Saudi Arabia.	1.1635	0.04555	104	91	9	4
2408	…. the tar is oozing down the mountain heading straight for us…	1.1635	0.04124	104	89	13	2
2409	Sing it with me -- "Blue Moon...."	1.1635	0.03891	104	88	15	1
2410	Wanna see me start another fire?	1.1633	0.04277	98	84	12	2
2411	Then out of nowhere, a giant asteroid landed on their heads!!	1.1633	0.04023	98	83	14	1
2412	Want to see something really scary?	1.1633	0.04277	98	84	12	2
2413	And then the SECOND ICE AGE CAME!	1.1633	0.04023	98	83	14	1
2414	Nice effect, but as usual the moon is backwards.	1.1633	0.04743	98	86	8	4
2415	Very scary, Gary.	1.1633	0.04516	98	85	10	3
2416	You should have seen the look on the guys face that dropped this!	1.1633	0.04960	98	87	6	5
2417	Don't be frightened, I promise this story isn't too scary. It's the story of us."	1.1633	0.03753	98	82	16	0
2418	And then the hungry monster in the forest ran out of campers to eat!	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
2419	One stormy night, a hit movie demonized us as theme park monsters!	1.1630	0.04169	92	78	13	1
2420	Where’d you get the flashlight?	1.1630	0.04169	92	78	13	1
2421	Dude, waaay scarier than lighting your farts.	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
2422	Wait till they find out we track their GPS!!	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
2423	And then the T-Rex fired up his chainsaw	1.1630	0.04169	92	78	13	1
2424	Glad that fellow could do time travel. I was really hungry after the fire in the sky.	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
2425	...and legend says that in that lake over there, there are lurking trilobites who survived the last extinction.	1.1630	0.04169	92	78	13	1
2426	You're not quite ready for your close-up.	1.1630	0.04169	92	78	13	1
2427	The monster trembled with fear as the closet door opened and a voice said, ‘Does this spark joy’?	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
2428	Oh, fuck!	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
2429	Would you quit fucking around with that flashlight I’m about to shit myself over here.	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
2430	The door creaked open slowly and it was a .....HUMAN!!!!...	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
2431	Do you think the Botox was a good idea?	1.1630	0.04708	92	80	9	3
2432	and then there were no more children to eat	1.1628	0.04332	86	73	12	1
2433	Now for this one, I've gotta look scary!"	1.1628	0.04332	86	73	12	1
2434	The lighting does you no favours	1.1628	0.04924	86	75	8	3
2435	It's great to finally meet in person!	1.1628	0.04004	86	72	14	0
2436	I am the light !	1.1628	0.04004	86	72	14	0
2437	And after I pulled away, I found a cute teen-ager's hand pulled off and clinging to my car's door handle!	1.1628	0.04332	86	73	12	1
2438	You're telling me the big bad meteor came down one night and killed EVERYBODY?	1.1628	0.04332	86	73	12	1
2439	Real scary Billy, what’s next, a snipe hunt?	1.1628	0.04637	86	74	10	2
2440	This mammalian invasion has already begun, and in a short 65 million years, they'll be in charge.	1.1628	0.04924	86	75	8	3
2441	squeak, scrunch...and then Puff jumped in fright when the knight in rusty armor appeared.	1.1628	0.04924	86	75	8	3
2442	And then….. their bones and everything were dug up and put on display for everybody to see!!	1.1628	0.05194	86	76	6	4
2443	Do my eyes look too red?	1.1628	0.04332	86	73	12	1
2444	Does this light make my face greener?	1.1628	0.04332	86	73	12	1
2445	Are you also thinking we’re cloned from the same DNA?	1.1625	0.05169	80	70	7	3
2446	Hon, if I cover the center of the flashlight, we’ll have a nice ring light for our Zoom calls.	1.1625	0.04151	80	67	13	0
2447	You really need to floss.	1.1625	0.05169	80	70	7	3
2448	. . . and as the plane readied for took off, there were 20 toddlers in poopy diapers screaming and kicking the chairs, and the pilot said we would be delayed on the runway for at least 2 hours.	1.1625	0.05467	80	71	5	4
2449	They dug up the bones of our ancestors from deep fissures in the mountains, and they burned them, burned them all!	1.1625	0.04516	80	68	11	1
2450	And then all the MILFs found out that the men at the manor were actually their sons	1.1625	0.04853	80	69	9	2
2451	How is that a turn on?	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
2452	Not another meteor story!	1.1622	0.05451	74	65	6	3
2453	Doesn't work, still look just like a T-rex.	1.1622	0.04314	74	62	12	0
2454	Want to hear a fossil story?	1.1622	0.03740	111	94	16	1
2455	And then he did his taxes, but he forgot to claim a dependant!	1.1622	0.04348	111	97	10	4
2456	And they laughed…as they used our desecrated bodies as FUEL!	1.1622	0.05451	74	65	6	3
2457	He: See, I call it karaoke; She: You need a mic not a flashlight	1.1622	0.04532	111	98	8	5
2458	…and then the big, bad meteor crashed into the earth.	1.1622	0.04348	111	97	10	4
2459	I forgot the marshmallows.	1.1619	0.04088	105	90	13	2
2460	That’s so sick.	1.1619	0.04088	105	90	13	2
2461	You'll have to go beyond this to scare a city, Godzilla.	1.1619	0.04514	105	92	9	4
2462	And he had a hook for a tail!	1.1619	0.03857	105	89	15	1
2463	And then, without warning, comes this huge rock from above, wiping out all the dinosaurs on earth.	1.1619	0.03857	105	89	15	1
2464	2 dragons sittin by the fire, iko iko a nae	1.1619	0.04306	105	91	11	3
2465	Do I have any smores in my teeth?	1.1616	0.04237	99	85	12	2
2466	….and then the fire-breathing dragon used his last breath to start a campfire before he killed the only other fire-breathing dragon. Now go to your tent and get some sleep.	1.1616	0.03986	99	84	14	1
2467	He froze as he entered the museum. It was his mom and dad; only their skeletons.	1.1616	0.04473	99	86	10	3
2468	And there he was, with smooth, white teeth and fresh breath!	1.1616	0.04473	99	86	10	3
2469	Boo! OMG! Fooled ya'. It' is I, MTG"	1.1616	0.04698	99	87	8	4
2470	WHOA! That could only be scarier if you were wearing one of those creepy human masks.	1.1616	0.04473	99	86	10	3
2471	And that is why, we dragons are not allowed to blow candles on our birthday.	1.1616	0.03986	99	84	14	1
2472	I'll have what she's having	1.1616	0.03986	99	84	14	1
2473	And they kept their bones for millions of years so that human children could point at them.	1.1613	0.03835	93	78	15	0
2474	Are we trying to heat up the whole planet? Use this.	1.1613	0.04128	93	79	13	1
2475	But after converting the lair’s mountain of gold to crypto, the market collapsed!	1.1613	0.04128	93	79	13	1
2476	Okay this is gunna be a scary one… Humans.	1.1613	0.04402	93	80	11	2
2477	Your beauty shines in that light.	1.1613	0.04128	93	79	13	1
2478	And then they say we have short arms and can never reach anything...	1.1613	0.04128	93	79	13	1
2479	You’re scarier in the dark.	1.1613	0.04128	93	79	13	1
2480	Have you ever heard of an asteroid?	1.1613	0.04128	93	79	13	1
2481	And then it said, ‘no internet connection’	1.1613	0.04402	93	80	11	2
2482	...and then this huge fireball appears in the sky and keeps getting closer, and closer, until ...	1.1609	0.04588	87	75	10	2
2483	How do I look now?...I don't think that's what they meant when they said try a filter.	1.1609	0.04286	87	74	12	1
2484	Stop trying to cheer me up. You know I hate fire when I'm not breathing it.	1.1609	0.04286	87	74	12	1
2485	There’s so many conspiracy theories…global cooling… asteroids… You just don’t know what to believe…	1.1609	0.04588	87	75	10	2
2486	Then out of the blue comes this huge meteorite hurtling straight towards us	1.1609	0.04588	87	75	10	2
2487	Wadday mean, I went to the plastic surgeon today and won’t need another lifting. Also, my dentist said I don’t need braces anymore. My teeth are all perfect. See?	1.1609	0.04286	87	74	12	1
2488	There's a note attached that says "when the asteroid hits, you might need this". What the hell does that mean?	1.1609	0.04588	87	75	10	2
2489	John…don’t look now, but there’s a meteor heading straight towards us	1.1609	0.04286	87	74	12	1
2490	Too late, he remembered he wasn't in Europe anymore! The 32 on the gauge was in... Fahrenheit!!!	1.1609	0.04588	87	75	10	2
2491	Sorry — you don’t have the nostrils to make that work.	1.1609	0.04870	87	76	8	3
2492	Are you petrified yet?	1.1609	0.04588	87	75	10	2
2493	You forgot the smores?	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
2494	They’ll invent the wheel next	1.1605	0.04797	81	70	9	2
2495	I bought it online and it shines for up to 5 miles.	1.1605	0.04797	81	70	9	2
2496	... and it was a knight !	1.1605	0.04104	81	68	13	0
2497	And then the little pink bunny says "I love you!"	1.1605	0.05109	81	71	7	3
2498	And then there was this huge ball of fire in the sky....	1.1604	0.03824	106	90	15	1
2499	No more scary extinction stories!	1.1600	0.04197	100	86	12	2
2500	And then this big fireball began plummeting toward Earth.	1.1600	0.05037	75	65	8	2
2501	You’re gonna give me nightmares!	1.1600	0.05037	75	65	8	2
2502	…then the little orange dot got bigger and bigger and BIGGER, until it was all they could see”	1.1600	0.04262	75	63	12	0
2503	Why must you always be in the limelight, Godzilla?	1.1600	0.05383	75	66	6	3
2504	...and then this large, green spiked fire breathing ogre...	1.1600	0.05037	75	65	8	2
2505	I'd like to thank the academy for finally choosing a reptile, not that they had a choice after we ate all the mammals.	1.1600	0.05037	75	65	8	2
2506	...and in the car door handle, they found a tiny prosthetic arm with a hook on the end.	1.1596	0.03797	94	79	15	0
2507	Wooooooo! I'm a big scary human!	1.1596	0.04358	94	81	11	2
2508	Does this make my teeth look big?	1.1596	0.04088	94	80	13	1
2509	And That’s What Humans Will Use Us For When We’re Crude Oil	1.1596	0.04088	94	80	13	1
2510	You know I can't stand it when you make that scary human face!	1.1596	0.04088	94	80	13	1
2511	What are you trying to do? Scare me?	1.1596	0.03797	94	79	15	0
2512	Then the knight said, 'I come in peace', and I was like 'yeah right, I was born at night, but not last night!'	1.1596	0.04613	94	82	9	3
2513	The Chicxulub crater started the mass extinction, and then the mammals took over.	1.1596	0.03797	94	79	15	0
2514	They were called humans. They roamed the Earth during the day. They looked like this.	1.1596	0.04088	94	80	13	1
2515	Suddenly a spot of light appeared in the sky. It quickly grew in size and in just a minute it covered the entire sky. It was a comet. The biggest comet earth ever sade! MOAHAHAHAHA!!!!	1.1596	0.04613	94	82	9	3
2516	There was a prophecy that the dinosaur race would be wiped out by a celestial rock and our world ruled by descendants of FURLESS MONKEYS.	1.1596	0.04613	94	82	9	3
2517	There was once a tv show with a friendly purple dinosaur...	1.1591	0.04241	88	75	12	1
2518	And then, and then, and then they went to SLEEP.	1.1591	0.04539	88	76	10	2
2519	It did taste great, but you should have seen the look on its face when I grabbed this thing and held it under my jaw.	1.1591	0.04241	88	75	12	1
2520	& then the ‘dawn’ of civilization	1.1591	0.04539	88	76	10	2
2521	I knew we were better at hide-and-seek.	1.1591	0.04539	88	76	10	2
2522	Then Little Jackie Paper grew up...	1.1591	0.04539	88	76	10	2
2523	And then, I big white balloon got caught in his tail wind.	1.1591	0.04241	88	75	12	1
2524	And his fossil was forever misgendered	1.1591	0.04539	88	76	10	2
2525	I got this idea last night.	1.1591	0.04241	88	75	12	1
2526	And legend says, apes are next in line to talk.	1.1591	0.04818	88	77	8	3
2527	... and there, under the bed, crouched St. George!	1.1591	0.04241	88	75	12	1
2528	Can you believe this beautiful face scared them away?	1.1591	0.04241	88	75	12	1
2529	Then when he tried to scream, all that came out was, "Puff..."	1.1591	0.04539	88	76	10	2
2530	Don’t joke about that! My cousin Jerry died by that asteroid	1.1591	0.03921	88	74	14	0
2531	…and when the baby dragon was born, his mother named him GEORGE!	1.1591	0.04539	88	76	10	2
2532	"And then, the orange-faced monster said, 'we should get rid of the constitution,' and all the people who had not drunk the kool-aid were very afraid."	1.1589	0.04629	107	95	7	5
2533	Let's find some campers and give them a really big scare.	1.1585	0.04743	82	71	9	2
2534	Does this make me look like a monster?	1.1585	0.04743	82	71	9	2
2535	If it’s too scary I can scale it back.	1.1585	0.05050	82	72	7	3
2536	And that's why dragons are becoming extinct."	1.1585	0.04743	82	71	9	2
2537	Where the hell did you get that flashlight?	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
2538	…then the operator says, "Watch out! The call is coming from INSIDE the dungeon!"	1.1585	0.04743	82	71	9	2
2539	And then all life on earth will be destroyed by ice. Or a meteor. Or a forest fire.	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
2540	And then they’ll dig up your bones!	1.1585	0.05050	82	72	7	3
2541	Did you know that a good jest can survive extinction?	1.1585	0.04743	82	71	9	2
2542	And after been buried for thousand of years, one moonless night his liquified body oozed out of the ground as black tar. His revenge: the gangrenous destruction of the earth!	1.1585	0.05050	82	72	7	3
2543	Give me my flashlight back asshole.	1.1585	0.05050	82	72	7	3
2544	"I bought a flashlight; since the fire will extinguish by itself!!"	1.1585	0.05050	82	72	7	3
2545	And then, they elected him president…	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
2546	And then the asteroid came out of the sky, and...	1.1584	0.04390	101	88	10	3
2547	And then his mom called him home for dinner.	1.1584	0.04158	101	87	12	2
2548	You shoulda seen it! That camper’s face got THIS big when I swallowed her whole.	1.1584	0.03913	101	86	14	1
2549	What do you mean pass the torch?	1.1584	0.03651	101	85	16	0
2550	Cool story bro-saurus. Did you bring the marshmallows?	1.1584	0.04158	101	87	12	2
2551	Chin up knucklehead.	1.1584	0.03913	101	86	14	1
2552	And the operator said, "the call is coming from inside your own cave!"	1.1584	0.04610	101	89	8	4
2553	. . . and then the human realized he forgot his password to his Bitcoin wallet!	1.1584	0.04390	101	88	10	3
2554	Um...Donald Trump?	1.1584	0.04158	101	87	12	2
2555	I like to warm my feet before I go out to catch my dinner	1.1584	0.03913	101	86	14	1
2556	And then the humans crashed into the cave and the little dragon hid behind a big rock...	1.1584	0.03913	101	86	14	1
2557	And the comet hit the planet, and the dinosaurs were never heard from again!	1.1584	0.04390	101	88	10	3
2558	And hanging right there was — a bloody hook!	1.1584	0.03913	101	86	14	1
2559	The calls were coming from INSIDE the dungeon!	1.1584	0.04158	101	87	12	2
2560	what's a hitchhiker?	1.1579	0.04568	95	83	9	3
2561	And then they were turned into nuggets	1.1579	0.04568	95	83	9	3
2562	I think that’s enough Broadway show tunes for tonight.	1.1579	0.05316	76	67	6	3
2563	And then Red Riding Hood said: "Grandma, my what sharp teeth you have..."	1.1579	0.05636	76	68	4	4
2564	Well if we don't move to green energy we might extinct	1.1579	0.04568	95	83	9	3
2565	...and then they cloned us and put us on an island behind locked gates.	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
2566	Whoo, now that's scarry	1.1579	0.04316	95	82	11	2
2567	We must be related, it can breathe light.	1.1579	0.04568	95	83	9	3
2568	You just had to ruin karaoke by eating the spotlight operator, didn't you?	1.1579	0.04975	76	66	8	2
2569	It came from outer space...	1.1579	0.04568	95	83	9	3
2570	Once upon a time, there were these creatures that wanted to rule the world, but they were very bad. These creatures were called Politicians.....	1.1579	0.04807	95	84	7	4
2571	We're the last two dinosaurs and if you don't stop with the jokes, we're going to be extinct.	1.1579	0.04048	95	81	13	1
2572	Do I have any Stegosaurus in my teeth?	1.1579	0.04568	95	83	9	3
2573	And then the lights came on and everyone SCREAMED!	1.1579	0.04316	95	82	11	2
2574	Let’s just order in tonight.	1.1579	0.04975	76	66	8	2
2575	And after all that - here's the really spooky part - he became an herbivore!	1.1579	0.04316	95	82	11	2
2576	It’s so much fun to make believe I’m ferocious	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
2577	Yeah…really scary Ray. Now do the red strobe…	1.1574	0.03982	108	93	13	2
2578	The luminosity is great, but there's nothing like the campfire for warming my cold-blooded toes.	1.1573	0.04197	89	76	12	1
2579	Dragons are scary. Giant dragons are scarier. Light is scariest.	1.1573	0.04491	89	77	10	2
2580	If you're doing that Great Pumpkin schtick, you're in the wrong comic.	1.1573	0.04491	89	77	10	2
2581	They called him Saint George, but we called him Devil’	1.1573	0.04491	89	77	10	2
2582	This story's about a very scary knight - spelled with a k!	1.1573	0.04197	89	76	12	1
2583	We have nothing to fear but fear itself," it said. I laughed in its face and said "Fear These!"	1.1573	0.04491	89	77	10	2
2584	And that's why dragons only have three toes on each foot and no wings. Any questions?	1.1573	0.04767	89	78	8	3
2585	And just before I ate him he had this up to his chin telling everyone about the goblins out here.	1.1573	0.04491	89	77	10	2
2586	Let me tell you a scaly story.	1.1573	0.03881	89	75	14	0
2587	And then the meteor struck!	1.1573	0.04197	89	76	12	1
2588	And then I ate the man with a hook for a hand.	1.1573	0.04197	89	76	12	1
2589	… and then the scary monsters said boo and scared all of the children.	1.1573	0.04197	89	76	12	1
2590	You probably should floss before you start. You've got part of Harajuku stuck in your teeth and it's freaking me out.	1.1573	0.04767	89	78	8	3
2591	And after the bones are liquified they burn them! But we shall have revenge...	1.1573	0.04767	89	78	8	3
2592	You can keep your fire!	1.1573	0.04767	89	78	8	3
2593	And the lord said “let there be light”	1.1573	0.05028	89	79	6	4
2594	I know, but if I use this flashlight it will really scare the kids.	1.1573	0.04197	89	76	12	1
2595	...but it turns out the knight's armor clanking was coming from inside the cave!	1.1573	0.04491	89	77	10	2
2596	They ate smores, didn't get their boosters and become extinct!	1.1573	0.04491	89	77	10	2
2597	Even though you know it’s me, the scary torch trick never fails.	1.1573	0.04491	89	77	10	2
2598	Nothing is going to be any scarier than what you did to the s'mores.	1.1573	0.04197	89	76	12	1
2599	And then the monsters fed on our remains for hundreds of years in order to destroy the Earth!	1.1569	0.04567	102	90	8	4
2600	The two-legged creature we saw running around with this light stick: well, he was good eating , but this dumb stick got caught in my teeth.	1.1569	0.04350	102	89	10	3
2601	... and that's who built this fire before we got here!	1.1569	0.04120	102	88	12	2
2602	We have three lights (the moon, the flashlight and the bonfire) and our faces show that we don´t understand anything yet.	1.1569	0.04120	102	88	12	2
2603	And the monster looked like….!!!	1.1566	0.04689	83	72	9	2
2604	Cut it out! You're scaring me.	1.1566	0.04689	83	72	9	2
2605	Do my teeth look yellow to you?	1.1566	0.04689	83	72	9	2
2606	Cool, Dino. You're good enough to sing with Puff and Barney.	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
2607	The scariest part of the story is yet to come: the 2024 United States presidential election!	1.1566	0.05279	83	74	5	4
2608	Whitening strips are good for my smile.	1.1566	0.04689	83	72	9	2
2609	And they called it Jurassic Park despite most of the dinosaurs being…from the Mesozoic Era!	1.1566	0.05279	83	74	5	4
2610	...and that's when she realized that the call was coming from INSIDE the cave!	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
2611	But then suddenly St. George jumped out and said 'Boo!'	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
2612	Bigger, Sharper, Whiter, Paleodentistry Yeah!	1.1566	0.04689	83	72	9	2
2613	Last curtain call before the asteroid.	1.1566	0.04992	83	73	7	3
2614	...and the horrible creatures without any scales just kept coming and coming and coming... BILLIONS of them!	1.1566	0.04014	83	70	13	0
2615	And when they got home,they found a hand with an opposable thumb lodged in the car door!	1.1566	0.04992	83	73	7	3
2616	Fire-breathing alone is not enough to scare anyone. You also need uplighting.	1.1566	0.04689	83	72	9	2
2617	And so he BURNED the throne to a crisp forcing them to form a democracy. The End.	1.1566	0.04992	83	73	7	3
2618	The scariest story of them all, 'When Humans Walked the Earth.'" They called themselves Republicans and Democrats	1.1565	0.04205	115	101	10	4
2619	I get it... you're scary. Can we call it a night already?	1.1562	0.04009	96	82	13	1
2620	Then the little hairy creatures made buildings to come stare at our corpses for their entertainment	1.1562	0.04759	96	85	7	4
2621	It was a fleshy visage… no scales, none at all—just bare flesh and a blue-eyed smile that nearly made me faint.	1.1562	0.04274	96	83	11	2
2622	Let me guess -- a late-night comic?	1.1562	0.03725	96	81	15	0
2623	I flossed...come and look for yourself if you don't believe me.	1.1562	0.04523	96	84	9	3
2624	And then the paleontologist monster dug up our graves and made statues from our bones!	1.1562	0.04274	96	83	11	2
2625	But when they got out of the car, they saw one tiny detached arm dangling from the side-view mirror.	1.1562	0.04523	96	84	9	3
2626	It may not be so dramatic but it eliminates that awful acid reflux burn.	1.1562	0.04523	96	84	9	3
2627	Incredible! You OWN Boris Karloff!	1.1562	0.04523	96	84	9	3
2628	And then he kissed the princess and they fell in love!	1.1562	0.04274	96	83	11	2
2629	Frank, will you please quit i? It makes you look cute, and it scares me to see you like that!	1.1560	0.04158	109	95	11	3
2630	And then the humans chop down all the trees in the forest!	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
2631	And then an asteroid hit...Boom!	1.1558	0.04914	77	67	8	2
2632	What do you think? Time to see the dentist?	1.1558	0.04161	77	65	12	0
2633	Like I said, you’re not scaring me and you’re not the least bit funny, but keep it up and it will be the end of us.	1.1558	0.05250	77	68	6	3
2634	Just in case the fire burns out.	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
2635	The year is 2023, and everyone thinks we’re extinct.	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
2636	And then along comes Saint George …	1.1556	0.03842	90	76	14	0
2637	...and the asteroid was getting closer...and closer...and closer	1.1556	0.04717	90	79	8	3
2638	Want to makeup a scary human story?	1.1556	0.04444	90	78	10	2
2639	Do I look like a damsel in distress now?	1.1556	0.04154	90	77	12	1
2640	Wow! it does make you look thinner.	1.1556	0.04444	90	78	10	2
2641	And then suddenly, over your shoulder you catch a glimpse of it, a flaming rock!	1.1556	0.03842	90	76	14	0
2642	You don't really look any different to me!!!	1.1556	0.04717	90	79	8	3
2643	This is so romantic but next time please bring some marshmallows.	1.1556	0.04444	90	78	10	2
2644	Then she looked right at him and said, “The Dinosaur you talked to couldn’t have been Pisanosaurus. He went extinct in the late Triassic period!”	1.1556	0.04717	90	79	8	3
2645	In a parallel universe this is hilarious!	1.1556	0.04975	90	80	6	4
2646	and, when I finally got home, I found a hand stuck in my rear molars!	1.1556	0.03842	90	76	14	0
2647	Floss that camper crud before you go to sleep tonight funny man.	1.1548	0.04637	84	73	9	2
2648	And then their life was controlled by a the hand computer called a cell phone.	1.1548	0.04637	84	73	9	2
2649	... but why didn't he just roast the knight?	1.1548	0.04316	84	72	11	1
2650	...and then WHAM, the meteor hit!	1.1548	0.03970	84	71	13	0
2651	Then Jackie Paper came no more!	1.1548	0.04936	84	74	7	3
2652	It may not be as scary, but it has a lower carbon footprint than breathing fire.	1.1548	0.04936	84	74	7	3
2653	Not one with the humans again. They're too freakin' creepy.	1.1548	0.04637	84	73	9	2
2654	Believe me, you look much more terrifying like this!	1.1546	0.03971	97	83	13	1
2655	Now THAT is scary ! You like just like my Ex !	1.1546	0.04479	97	85	9	3
2656	…and the giant asteroid will hit the Earth…	1.1546	0.03971	97	83	13	1
2657	And then the vegan mammoth appeared...	1.1546	0.03971	97	83	13	1
2658	And then the dragon blew out snowflakes instead of fire	1.1546	0.04479	97	85	9	3
2659	Stop it, you know I'm afraid of the knight.	1.1546	0.04232	97	84	11	2
2660	Evolution is fake news. Our kids will never be salamanders.	1.1546	0.03971	97	83	13	1
2661	And then there were no cities left to terrorize.	1.1546	0.04232	97	84	11	2
2662	And then all of a sudden,his breath smelled minty and cool.	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
2663	And then the EPA auditor said we could never breathe fire ever again …	1.1538	0.04668	91	80	8	3
2664	And they will fuel their machines with our remains!	1.1538	0.05186	78	69	6	3
2665	One day, when you least expect it... Bam! You look.up at the sky and there it is, burning like a star, The Mad Meteor coming to get you!	1.1538	0.04112	91	78	12	1
2666	They have smooth skin, rounded teeth, and thumbs used to grab you in the middle of the night.	1.1538	0.04112	91	78	12	1
2667	Do you think this expression will scare the others?	1.1538	0.04112	91	78	12	1
2668	Very funny, y'old fossil!	1.1538	0.04271	104	91	10	3
2669	It was then that he realized that the call was coming from inside the lair!	1.1538	0.04668	91	80	8	3
2670	… and it’s got a rechargeable battery, so it’s better for the environment.	1.1538	0.04046	104	90	12	2
2671	Then they started burning our liquified corpses to power their machinery!	1.1538	0.04668	91	80	8	3
2672	No spinach, but there's a piece of tunic.	1.1538	0.04399	91	79	10	2
2673	Welcome to Jurassic Park VII.	1.1538	0.04046	104	90	12	2
2674	Quit that! You look like a human being.	1.1538	0.04399	91	79	10	2
2675	It'll never catch on. Not much heat.	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
2676	climate change is a hoax	1.1538	0.04399	91	79	10	2
2677	But I don't want to be in movies, I want to be an Influencer."	1.1538	0.04668	91	80	8	3
2678	Once upon a time, long long ago, there was a fiery asteroid that crashed into the earth...	1.1538	0.03809	104	89	14	1
2679	First we tell scary stories, then we roast sticky things that get stuck in our teeth.	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
2680	And then he could't reach them!	1.1538	0.04399	91	79	10	2
2681	Wow, just as I was getting to grips with this new fire thing,	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
2682	You don't scare me.	1.1538	0.04112	91	78	12	1
2683	Asteroids - Ha! This’ll really scare you.	1.1538	0.04484	104	92	8	4
2684	Hah! I've seen much scarier faces than that!	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
2685	…and then an asteroid crashed into the earth and there was no more sunlight	1.1538	0.04668	91	80	8	3
2686	The time traveler also gave me some good investment tips.	1.1538	0.04112	91	78	12	1
2687	Quit it! You look really creepy!	1.1538	0.04668	91	80	8	3
2688	And then there’s this woman Cersei who’s not not married to her brother ….	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
2689	But we survive the meteor and many millions of years later our advanced civilization and brilliant individuals are honored in great museums.	1.1531	0.04436	98	86	9	3
2690	My name is Bud. This is my light. Can I get you a beer?	1.1531	0.04192	98	85	11	2
2691	And then the asteroid appeared in the sky...	1.1531	0.04667	98	87	7	4
2692	King Kong ain't got nothing on me!	1.1531	0.03656	98	83	15	0
2693	And that’s who lives happily ever after.	1.1529	0.04269	85	73	11	1
2694	The time traveller dropped the flashlight before I ate her.	1.1529	0.04269	85	73	11	1
2695	You're wasting batteries, and who the hell is Fiorello La Guardia?	1.1529	0.05160	85	76	5	4
2696	I like to use this when I'm telling scary stories.	1.1529	0.04585	85	74	9	2
2697	I didn't invent fire for this nonsense!	1.1529	0.04585	85	74	9	2
2698	Eeeeek!!! You look so human!!!	1.1529	0.04585	85	74	9	2
2699	It's called, "The Museum of Natural History"...	1.1529	0.04269	85	73	11	1
2700	And then the big rock fell from the sky ...	1.1529	0.04881	85	75	7	3
2701	Silence of the Dinos That night, the vicious little rodents slipped silently into Godzilla’s nest, ripped open the bellies of her babies, and ate their livers with some Fava beans and a nice Chianti.	1.1529	0.04585	85	74	9	2
2702	OK,you're right,it does make you look scarier.	1.1529	0.04585	85	74	9	2

Contest #838

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