Contest #833 Summary

Name	Value
Submission deadline	-
Voting started	-
Voting ended	-
Finalists announced	-
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued	-
Number of captions	6945
Number of responses	809874
Number of participants	-

Rank	Caption	Mean	Precision	Total votes	"Unfunny" votes	"Somewhat funny" votes	"Funny" votes
0	This is the option covered by your insurance	1.8429	0.01659	2393	1005	759	629
1	It’s going to work a lot faster than the prune juice.	1.8251	0.01595	2670	1181	775	714
2	We find it works quicker than the laxative	1.8237	0.02219	1310	558	425	327
3	Or we could go with diet and exercise...	1.8189	0.02008	1513	623	541	349
4	So if I do this right you shouldn’t feel a thing.	1.8103	0.02440	991	404	371	216
5	There was a little mix-up here. Dr. Mason is an osteopath. I’m Dr. Manson, a psychopath.	1.8032	0.01372	3700	1723	982	995
6	As you can see, I am board certified.	1.7865	0.03061	665	293	221	151
7	You may feel a little prick.	1.7850	0.01861	1679	707	626	346
8	Of course if you’d like to give the blood, urine and stool samples the usual way, that’s totally up to you.	1.7737	0.01600	2497	1144	774	579
9	It’s usually non-invasive.	1.7706	0.01292	3439	1472	1284	683
10	It's only surgery if I miss.	1.7694	0.01467	2736	1194	981	562
11	Okay, now let’s recheck that blood pressure.	1.7688	0.01650	2111	907	785	419
12	It cures all kinds of ailments. The last patient had constipation. No longer a problem.	1.7658	0.01626	2387	1098	750	539
13	Okay, the hiccups are gone. Now let's talk about your anxiety.	1.7644	0.01554	2402	1046	876	480
14	Your HMO said this is the only procedure covered under your plan.	1.7593	0.01603	2410	1106	778	526
15	This should get those bowels moving.	1.7552	0.02573	960	451	293	216
16	We've found it's a much more effective stress test than a treadmill.	1.7536	0.01665	2143	965	741	437
17	Of course, with insurance you’d get a surgeon”.	1.7426	0.02177	1255	576	426	253
18	If they land inside the outline, it's called acupuncture.	1.7415	0.01845	1745	802	592	351
19	Statistically you should be fine.	1.7408	0.01451	2670	1186	990	494
20	Your results may vary.	1.7398	0.01477	2636	1188	945	503
21	Relax, I've done dozens of vasectomies.	1.7381	0.02764	756	343	268	145
22	Perfect. Now let's get you anesthetized while I get my blindfold.	1.7358	0.03236	583	275	187	121
23	As you can see, the chances for your survival are very, very good.	1.7357	0.01473	2471	1075	974	422
24	First we outline the problem, now we pinpoint exactly where it is.	1.7335	0.02440	953	431	345	177
25	Trust me. One way or another, this will stop your hiccups.	1.7314	0.01641	2137	979	753	405
26	Just let me know if you feel a sharp pain.	1.7262	0.01440	2736	1253	979	504
27	It says we should do no harm, but it doesn’t say we have to be boring about it.	1.7248	0.01767	1915	908	626	381
28	Your hiccups are gone.	1.7243	0.01507	2619	1239	863	517
29	Are we ready for your stress test, Mr. Henderson?	1.7236	0.01742	1907	888	658	361
30	It's more "hit or miss" than other diagnostic tools.	1.7233	0.01527	2436	1122	866	448
31	It could be inpatient, it could be outpatient.	1.7233	0.01486	2750	1321	869	560
32	I can do your vasectomy between shows this afternoon.	1.7213	0.01611	2361	1144	731	486
33	Most patients seem to prefer facing the wall	1.7178	0.01470	2587	1191	935	461
34	I’m just going to do a quick check of your reflexes.	1.7114	0.01531	2353	1086	860	407
35	There's nothing to worry about if you fasted as we asked.	1.7070	0.03016	628	298	216	114
36	It's called a cardiac stress test.	1.7059	0.01756	1826	861	641	324
37	Looks like you passed your stress test.	1.7004	0.01900	1562	744	542	276
38	So far, I's say it's a minimally invasive procedure.	1.6964	0.01811	1637	763	608	266
39	It's our latest cardiac stress test.	1.6963	0.01490	2506	1193	881	432
40	Still have the hiccups?	1.6958	0.01646	2045	972	723	350
41	You should buy a lottery ticket on your way home.	1.6914	0.01651	2145	1060	687	398
42	In our double blind study we both close our eyes and hope for the best.	1.6867	0.01623	2234	1117	700	417
43	Or we could do the treadmill test.	1.6840	0.02745	674	311	265	98
44	Relax, Mr. Cunningham. What's the worst that can happen?	1.6781	0.02916	640	310	226	104
45	If I'm paying for malpractice insurance, I'm using it.	1.6766	0.02210	1172	586	379	207
46	Still got those hiccups?	1.6610	0.01722	1891	959	614	318
47	We’ve had trouble finding your vein.	1.6580	0.01775	1956	1051	523	382
48	And you thought the prostate exam was the worst part of this visit.	1.6557	0.01723	1882	961	608	313
49	You shouldn’t feel a thing.	1.6536	0.01831	1957	1098	439	420
50	Or I could refer you to a specialist.	1.6456	0.02127	1236	642	390	204
51	It's noninvasive as long as I don't miss.	1.6415	0.01899	1537	800	488	249
52	Sometimes it's inaccupuncture.	1.6408	0.01954	1481	780	453	248
53	Trust me, you will be missed.	1.6377	0.02047	1405	760	394	251
54	Everyone gets better at this point.	1.6368	0.02006	1382	726	432	224
55	My heart patients asked for a quick stress test without the treadmill.	1.6316	0.02352	923	468	327	128
56	See, you have nothing to worry about.	1.6304	0.03177	533	278	174	81
57	Let’s take a stab at a diagnosis	1.6274	0.02092	1256	666	392	198
58	Now, let's check that blood pressure...	1.6235	0.02201	1150	618	347	185
59	It’s what your insurance paid for.	1.6210	0.02212	1116	596	347	173
60	Don't worry Kevin, this is how all Speakers get elected.	1.6206	0.02316	1115	625	288	202
61	And THAT was with my left hand.	1.6190	0.02255	1042	550	339	153
62	Now let me show you what happens when you go out of network.	1.6158	0.02407	1036	586	262	188
63	It's usually a noninvasive procedure	1.6128	0.02236	1077	579	336	162
64	Your prognosis ... it's hit or miss.	1.6076	0.02440	976	550	259	167
65	I think you'll find that "going under the knife" has a different meaning for my patients.	1.6060	0.02415	906	488	287	131
66	It's a new colonoscopy prep technique where we literally scare the crap out of you.	1.6050	0.02585	919	535	212	172
67	Sure-fire cure for constipation.	1.6046	0.02460	956	540	254	162
68	You won't feel a thing. Probably.	1.6042	0.02378	902	479	301	122
69	Statistically speaking, you'll be fine.	1.5998	0.02539	832	456	253	123
70	Constipated? This always works.	1.5984	0.02618	854	490	217	147
71	As you can see I’m board certified in external medicine.	1.5953	0.02580	855	486	229	140
72	Our treatments are cutting edge.	1.5952	0.02643	798	449	223	126
73	And that is how we cure chronic constipation.	1.5946	0.02623	846	487	215	144
74	This is where we test your nervous system.	1.5922	0.02512	792	425	265	102
75	If all goes well it’s a quick procedure.	1.5916	0.02661	742	408	229	105
76	As with any other sensitive diagnostic test, we are going to ask you to stand very still.	1.5910	0.02617	802	451	228	123
77	Now, we’re just going to give you a simple incontinence test.	1.5878	0.02592	871	508	214	149
78	I guarantee it'll cure your hiccups.	1.5872	0.02598	751	409	243	99
79	We try not to think of it as going "under the knife"...	1.5864	0.02593	810	457	231	122
80	Surgery was a success,we were able to remove the entire aura	1.5864	0.02781	718	409	197	112
81	I think your tremors are more controllable than we thought.	1.5863	0.02750	672	367	216	89
82	Right after this next test, we'll take your blood pressure.	1.5837	0.02825	711	411	185	115
83	Do you have any metal allergies?	1.5826	0.02772	642	348	214	80
84	Don’t know. He left before I finished.	1.5797	0.06240	138	78	40	20
85	We are at the cutting-edge of non-evasive procedures.	1.5793	0.02900	675	393	173	109
86	You'll need to take a wide stance for the vasectomy	1.5788	0.02749	755	441	191	123
87	Trust me: This treatment will cure your constipation.	1.5788	0.02839	698	405	182	111
88	All procedures have risks, but you will get over the hiccups.	1.5787	0.02761	667	369	210	88
89	Now let’s have a look at those reflexes, shall we?	1.5778	0.02794	649	359	205	85
90	This is what your insurance covers.	1.5776	0.02920	651	376	174	101
91	You're right, this shows nothing about how many hit the actual target.	1.5753	0.02844	657	373	190	94
92	Of course you’ll be strapped to a spinning wheel during the actual procedure.	1.5743	0.02957	693	420	148	125
93	So those are the parts your insurance covers…	1.5717	0.03086	614	367	143	104
94	I've never lost a patient.	1.5707	0.02929	580	322	185	73
95	See? Told you I was precise. Now get back up there for the vasectomy.	1.5707	0.05374	191	111	51	29
96	Don't turn your head or cough.	1.5690	0.02765	659	369	205	85
97	As you can see, you have nothing to be worried about.	1.5686	0.02838	605	334	198	73
98	That's enough warm-up. Let'a head on in to the O.R.	1.5670	0.03129	575	340	144	91
99	You passed the anxiety test.	1.5627	0.02944	558	310	182	66
100	So you see, I’ve performed this procedure several times with good result.	1.5618	0.02965	550	306	179	65
101	Your HMO approved this test first.	1.5601	0.03025	541	305	169	67
102	The Phase II trial will be double-blind.	1.5577	0.03145	572	344	137	91
103	This is a test of your emergency response system.”	1.5550	0.03342	582	376	89	117
104	Trust me now?	1.5545	0.03110	514	293	157	64
105	Yes, for this particular procedure I do recommend general anesthesia.	1.5542	0.03092	554	325	151	78
106	There's always a first time, of course."	1.5526	0.02923	523	286	185	52
107	Now lets check your reflexes.	1.5514	0.03035	555	322	160	73
108	You'll find the fear will kill the pain.	1.5512	0.03187	508	296	144	68
109	It tests for obesity.	1.5511	0.03365	499	303	117	79
110	Odds are, you won't feel a thing.	1.5498	0.03204	502	293	142	67
111	Relax, I'm board-certified.	1.5490	0.03107	541	318	149	74
112	Well, we can rule out paranoia.	1.5489	0.03101	532	310	152	70
113	We find that it's the quickest way to get a stool sample.	1.5455	0.03423	506	317	102	87
114	It’s how I build trust with my patients.	1.5424	0.03185	448	251	151	46
115	We’ve found this is an effective way to establish a elevated blood pressure baseline	1.5421	0.03214	463	265	145	53
116	It's the latest in stress tests.	1.5421	0.03217	487	285	140	62
117	Just stand up against the wall and tell me where it hurts.	1.5412	0.03178	473	271	148	54
118	It should take care of your hiccups at the very least.	1.5404	0.03121	507	295	150	62
119	OK,now I've warmed up I think I am ready to go with your surgery.	1.5396	0.03171	480	277	147	56
120	Correct. Within a minute of standing against the wall, this procedure will have both your prostate and bowel working again	1.5393	0.03577	458	288	93	77
121	If all goes well, you'll just notice a few side effects.	1.5391	0.03192	447	252	149	46
122	Odds are, you are going to make it.	1.5383	0.03286	444	256	137	51
123	This is what the high deductible plan covers.”	1.5374	0.03410	441	262	121	58
124	Remember that thing you signed while you were waiting to come in…?	1.5373	0.03255	469	275	136	58
125	The point is to scare the tumor to death.	1.5369	0.03374	434	254	127	53
126	Let's do something about your dangerously low blood pressure.	1.5360	0.03363	472	286	119	67
127	This is what is covered under your HMO.	1.5358	0.03197	517	312	133	72
128	Of course, you'll want to stand very still while I outline your procedure.	1.5353	0.03392	439	260	123	56
129	If I slip up, the procedure is free.	1.5345	0.03254	464	272	136	56
130	By comparison, your upcoming surgery is not nearly as risky.	1.5342	0.03320	438	255	132	51
131	Don't worry, it's just a routine surgery. I've done this a million times with my eyes closed.	1.5333	0.03330	450	266	128	56
132	They call it non-invasive surgery.	1.5322	0.03168	481	281	144	56
133	No, you won't feel any pain, unless you flinch.	1.5312	0.03383	416	242	127	47
134	I can’t promise to cure you, but I’m willing to take a stab at it.	1.5306	0.03301	458	272	129	57
135	Or, we could try medication.	1.5297	0.03486	421	253	113	55
136	I like to warm up a little bit before the operation.	1.5283	0.03390	460	281	115	64
137	Tell me when it hurts.	1.5281	0.03496	409	244	114	51
138	In Canada this is free.	1.5278	0.03564	396	237	109	50
139	There is a reason why we call it a "practice."	1.5277	0.03238	470	279	134	57
140	And after, the surgery itself won't feel as scary.	1.5272	0.03294	404	229	137	38
141	Relax, I've done thousands of circumcisions.	1.5271	0.03525	442	275	101	66
142	You'll be my first vasectomy.	1.5269	0.03575	427	265	99	63
143	Our colon cleanse method is 100% guaranteed effective.	1.5269	0.03776	391	245	86	60
144	Face forward, or not? Your choice.	1.5263	0.03254	456	269	134	53
145	Hey, I’m a Doctor not a magician. Well, not any more.	1.5257	0.03392	409	239	125	45
146	I can see why you’re getting a second opinion	1.5245	0.03242	429	247	139	43
147	You seem nervous, but no need to worry. You can keep your gown on.	1.5244	0.03405	389	224	126	39
148	That's all your HMO would cover.	1.5243	0.03320	452	271	125	56
149	Not bad for an honorary doctorate, eh?	1.5221	0.03586	385	231	107	47
150	You’ll be my first circumcision!	1.5216	0.03477	464	294	98	72
151	You might feel a wee tinkle.”	1.5188	0.03821	426	284	63	79
152	This should take care of your constipation.	1.5160	0.03818	374	236	83	55
153	Your incision will be approximately four inches in from where I throw my knife. It's called exploratory surgery.	1.5157	0.03683	382	236	95	51
154	Like I said - it's a tricky procedure.	1.5157	0.03392	415	248	120	47
155	Your insurance doesn't cover this. Neither does mine.	1.5156	0.03514	417	257	105	55
156	It was tricky, but we managed to completely remove your toxic aura	1.5137	0.03671	401	253	90	58
157	It should be a minimally invasive procedure.	1.5130	0.03594	384	234	103	47
158	Now for a little bloodwork.	1.5129	0.03509	388	233	111	44
159	I know you're in a hospital gown, but I suggest facing in.	1.5127	0.03834	355	221	86	48
160	Are you an organ donor?	1.5121	0.03594	373	225	105	43
161	Tell you what - if I miss, I'll do the surgery for free	1.5121	0.03731	373	232	91	50
162	We’re going to try something new.	1.5115	0.03785	348	213	92	43
163	As you can see, Dr. Nigel is a pro. Unfortunately he's out toady.	1.5114	0.03555	395	242	104	49
164	Believe me, this produces better results than any enema can give.	1.5106	0.03651	376	231	98	47
165	Now that you have passed the pre-op stress test, we can proceed.	1.5105	0.03505	380	227	112	41
166	Don't worry, it's minimally invasive.	1.5098	0.03797	357	222	88	47
167	Actually, don’t cough.	1.5096	0.03403	416	252	116	48
168	I'm still not sure what's causing your anxiety, but I'm happy to take another stab at it.	1.5088	0.03546	399	246	103	50
169	Previous trials show it’s perfectly safe.	1.5087	0.03667	346	207	102	37
170	And if I miss, we're already at the hospital.	1.5084	0.03809	358	224	86	48
171	Next we will be testing your reflex control.	1.5076	0.03829	329	200	91	38
172	Suddenly, that old prostate exam doesn’t seem so bad after all, eh?	1.5073	0.03543	410	256	100	54
173	It’s our quickest colonoscopy prep yet.	1.5072	0.04027	347	225	68	54
174	Relax, this is a noninvasive procedure.	1.5064	0.03601	391	243	98	50
175	I've done this so many times I'm now doing it blindfolded.	1.5043	0.03810	345	214	88	43
176	We'll take your blood pressure readings before and after this.	1.5042	0.03813	355	223	85	47
177	It’s non-invasive. If we do it right.	1.5031	0.03671	324	191	103	30
178	Just one left. Where do you want it?	1.5030	0.03770	336	205	93	38
179	Shall we proceed with the vasectomy?	1.5029	0.03867	346	218	82	46
180	It's the quickest way to obtain a urine sample	1.5028	0.03778	362	228	86	48
181	I guarantee this will cure your constipation.	1.5015	0.04152	327	214	62	51
182	We wouldn't have to do it this way if you had better insurance.	1.5000	0.03828	332	205	88	39
183	It'll still be less painful for you than dealing with your insurance.	1.5000	0.03647	374	233	95	46
184	See? Absolutely nothing to worry about.	1.5000	0.03851	318	194	89	35
185	Now, you may feel a slight prick.	1.4986	0.03686	355	219	95	41
186	This ensures that you hold still.	1.4986	0.03651	351	214	99	38
187	Stand over there again - I have one more test to run	1.4971	0.03889	346	221	78	47
188	It's really hit or miss.	1.4969	0.03953	318	199	80	39
189	That's for mole removal. The vasectomy wall is one room down.	1.4957	0.03842	349	222	81	46
190	The procedure has a high rate of success for those suffering from constipation	1.4955	0.03941	335	214	76	45
191	You may feel a slight sting.	1.4955	0.03559	335	198	108	29
192	Well, we've ruled out fear of knives.	1.4951	0.03843	307	186	90	31
193	Tesla would kill for this kind of success rate	1.4951	0.03833	305	184	91	30
194	We’ll properly dispose of any contaminated sharps.	1.4935	0.03834	308	187	90	31
195	...well, I put myself through medical school by working in the circus.	1.4931	0.03667	363	227	93	43
196	Are your hiccups gone now?	1.4916	0.03747	358	227	86	45
197	. . . and now we'll try it left-handed.	1.4914	0.04055	291	181	77	33
198	Your actual procedure will be a little bit different. This is just an outline of my method.	1.4911	0.03869	338	215	80	43
199	I'm trying a new approach to treating urinary retention!	1.4911	0.03863	336	213	81	42
200	It’s a matter of knife or death.	1.4907	0.03873	324	203	83	38
201	Let me explain approximately where the incision will be...	1.4899	0.03651	345	212	97	36
202	Do you want to face forward or backward?	1.4885	0.03889	305	188	85	32
203	The insurance companies make us do this.	1.4870	0.03969	308	194	78	36
204	One more test, to find how much sedation you'll need.	1.4858	0.04088	282	176	75	31
205	Of course, past results do not guarantee future performance.	1.4855	0.03914	311	195	81	35
206	This is the only form of acupuncture covered by your insurance.	1.4830	0.03930	323	207	76	40
207	...or you can get the vaccine.	1.4824	0.04075	313	204	67	42
208	This probably won't hurt a bit.	1.4823	0.03994	282	174	80	28
209	Of course, if you have insurance it's a different game entirely.	1.4821	0.04084	307	199	68	40
210	It's better than acupuncture and more fun, at least for me.	1.4815	0.04122	270	168	74	28
211	I could do this blindfolded.	1.4810	0.03815	316	197	86	33
212	Who said surgery can't contain an element of fun?	1.4791	0.03989	263	159	82	22
213	See? I told you it wouldn't hurt a bit.	1.4789	0.04119	261	161	75	25
214	It's the most effective treatment for constipation.	1.4784	0.04040	324	214	65	45
215	Now that's what I call cutting edge medical care.	1.4778	0.03970	316	204	73	39
216	We had some fun when you were under anesthesia.	1.4772	0.04086	285	181	72	32
217	That’s why they call it a medical “practice”.	1.4767	0.04018	300	192	73	35
218	I suggest you lose weight. My aim isn't what it used to be.	1.4764	0.04087	254	155	77	22
219	If we call it a stress test it's covered by insurance.	1.4762	0.04224	252	157	70	25
220	See my aim is pretty good. Now let’s just finish this one last throw between the legs.	1.4749	0.04000	299	191	74	34
221	Don't turn your head left to cough	1.4737	0.03783	304	188	88	28
222	Anyone you’d like to call before we start?	1.4729	0.04140	277	177	69	31
223	The anesthesiologist should be here shortly	1.4729	0.04044	277	174	75	28
224	So tell me why you’d prefer laser surgery.	1.4724	0.04162	254	158	72	24
225	Your aura is dead	1.4717	0.04377	265	174	57	34
226	You're actually my first live patient.	1.4713	0.03910	314	202	76	36
227	Treadmill’s down. Three throws should get you to 160.	1.4710	0.04151	276	177	68	31
228	I enjoy this more when I dress up as a doctor.	1.4708	0.04268	274	179	61	34
229	It's standing operating procedure.	1.4695	0.04070	262	163	75	24
230	Of course, you’ll be wearing sequins during the actual procedure.	1.4694	0.03962	294	187	76	31
231	During Covid we developed socially distanced surgery.	1.4692	0.04070	292	189	69	34
232	Odd, that almost always solves constipation. Not to worry, I have one last procedure."	1.4669	0.04162	272	175	67	30
233	One moment while the anesthesiologist loads his quiver.	1.4664	0.04371	268	178	55	35
234	It’s the latest therapy for facing and overcoming anxieties, and it’s noninvasive…in most cases.	1.4662	0.04197	266	171	66	29
235	As you can see, we're getting closer to a diagnosis.	1.4659	0.04011	264	164	77	23
236	But my true passion is urology.	1.4644	0.04265	239	150	67	22
237	I like to work my way in.	1.4641	0.03988	237	142	80	15
238	It helps if you face the wall.	1.4640	0.04012	250	153	78	19
239	It's OK, my practice insurance covers this procedure.	1.4631	0.04281	244	155	65	24
240	Let's take another stab at it.	1.4625	0.04095	253	158	73	22
241	Most patients don’t feel a thing.	1.4621	0.04045	264	166	74	24
242	As you can see, the procedure is noninvasive.	1.4609	0.04172	256	163	68	25
243	You won't see a thing. I turn out the lights first.	1.4607	0.04317	267	177	57	33
244	Looks good. Now let's do some internal medicine.	1.4604	0.04069	265	168	72	25
245	I could do this procedure blindfolded.	1.4600	0.04128	250	157	71	22
246	Your posture is important.	1.4597	0.04191	248	157	68	23
247	Show me where you’d like it to hurt.	1.4596	0.04143	235	145	72	18
248	Since I've been using this new technique, my patients have a 98% recovery rate.	1.4593	0.03910	270	168	80	22
249	Well, at least I'm certified on this Board.	1.4587	0.03873	303	195	77	31
250	Nothing wrong with your nervous system.	1.4583	0.04008	264	166	75	23
251	I know it’s not perfect, but the British have to wait in longer lines.	1.4581	0.04553	227	148	54	25
252	'I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but during the experiment you got the placebo knives.'	1.4575	0.04123	247	155	71	21
253	This procedure tends to cure constipation.	1.4574	0.04233	282	189	57	36
254	It's how I limber up before the actual surgery!	1.4568	0.04370	243	158	59	26
255	Or we can try the enema again.	1.4563	0.04472	252	169	51	32
256	One more should do it.	1.4562	0.04104	274	178	67	29
257	I worked my way through med school in a circus.	1.4553	0.04313	235	150	63	22
258	We’re narrowing it down.	1.4552	0.03964	268	169	76	23
259	Honestly...surgery like this is hit or miss	1.4550	0.04493	222	143	57	22
260	This should get rid of your hiccups.	1.4549	0.04181	255	164	66	25
261	Let’s try my Western-medicine adaptation of traditional Eastern Acupuncture!	1.4545	0.04476	220	141	58	21
262	Not that it matters, but my church choir needs a soprano.	1.4545	0.04384	264	178	52	34
263	Do you still want a second opinion?	1.4542	0.04171	262	170	65	27
264	Well, enough practice	1.4541	0.04552	218	141	55	22
265	I’ve never lost a patient. Just one nurse.	1.4533	0.04420	214	135	61	18
266	This is the stress test covered by your insurance	1.4525	0.04262	263	174	59	30
267	Guess where this one goes	1.4524	0.04400	252	168	54	30
268	I can throw in circumcision at no charge.	1.4523	0.04549	241	162	49	30
269	Thankfully you're well within the normal range	1.4523	0.04315	241	156	61	24
270	It doesn't cure the cancer but it takes your mind off it. We also validate parking.	1.4518	0.04578	228	151	51	26
271	This is going to take care of that constipation.	1.4518	0.04493	228	149	55	24
272	All surgery is hit and miss. I’m just more honest about it.	1.4513	0.04734	226	153	44	29
273	Think of it as acupuncture on steroids.	1.4513	0.04522	226	148	54	24
274	I like to think of myself as an out of the box surgeon.	1.4511	0.04436	235	154	56	25
275	Don't worry. It's done with surgical precision.	1.4509	0.04058	275	179	68	28
276	Trust me,your hiccups will be gone	1.4504	0.03916	262	164	78	20
277	Now will you trust me to perform the surgery?	1.4502	0.04302	251	165	59	27
278	This makes it fun for everyone.	1.4500	0.04566	220	144	53	23
279	I can do this procedure with my eyes closed.	1.4494	0.04180	267	176	62	29
280	Unconventional, sure. But I guarantee it will relieve your constipation.	1.4481	0.04585	241	164	46	31
281	yes, it's a little like acupuncture.	1.4477	0.04257	239	154	63	22
282	This is the only test covered by your insurance.	1.4472	0.04477	246	166	50	30
283	…, and there’s no co-pay with this type of imaging.	1.4469	0.04387	226	146	59	21
284	Spread your legs a little.	1.4449	0.04327	227	146	61	20
285	Sure we can do the surgery with a laser, but it's more expensive.	1.4449	0.04210	236	151	65	20
286	We seem to have cured that nervous tic.	1.4444	0.04673	207	136	50	21
287	You might feel a sharp pain."	1.4439	0.04551	205	132	55	18
288	For this one, I’ll need you to lift your gown.	1.4435	0.04377	239	158	56	25
289	Well, that’s one way to get a urine sample.	1.4435	0.04105	230	144	70	16
290	Its this "grey area" that I specialize in.	1.4434	0.04363	221	142	60	19
291	Tell me why you feel threatened.	1.4417	0.04282	240	157	60	23
292	We call it “non-invasive”	1.4412	0.04970	204	140	38	26
293	If you’ll stand inside the outline, I can get started.	1.4410	0.04342	229	149	59	21
294	We’ll either hit the wall or your high deductible.	1.4407	0.04537	236	160	48	28
295	Now, before we begin surgery, I need to know that you trust me.	1.4405	0.04279	227	146	62	19
296	Think of it this way: it beats a chalk outline on the sidewalk.	1.4402	0.04318	234	153	59	22
297	It’s a cutting edge procedure all right.	1.4400	0.04683	200	131	50	19
298	As you know, this is a targeted treatment.	1.4400	0.04519	200	128	56	16
299	Any other questions? I'm due in court.	1.4396	0.04915	207	142	39	26
300	This is my earlier work.	1.4395	0.04043	223	138	72	13
301	Not to worry — I’m board-certified.	1.4394	0.04607	198	128	53	17
302	Your margins are clear.	1.4390	0.04495	205	132	56	17
303	This will only hurt if you sneeze.	1.4380	0.04005	242	153	72	17
304	Let me outline the procedure for you.	1.4380	0.04281	258	174	55	29
305	We just took him off of knife support.	1.4372	0.04270	247	164	58	25
306	Now for the stress test.	1.4369	0.04531	206	134	54	18
307	You next checkup is in 6 months. You probably want to watch your weight.	1.4363	0.04303	259	176	53	30
308	It's also a continence test.	1.4356	0.04303	225	146	60	19
309	Do not turn and cough.	1.4352	0.04380	216	140	58	18
310	This is our rapid colonoscopy prep.	1.4352	0.04802	216	149	40	27
311	Our preliminary tests indicate you did not swallow a magnet.	1.4352	0.04757	216	148	42	26
312	Believe me...I also wish you had better insurance.	1.4348	0.04301	207	131	62	14
313	Don't worry, it's a non-invasive procedure.	1.4337	0.04856	196	132	43	21
314	I don't send out billing reminders.	1.4330	0.04628	224	153	45	26
315	As you can see this is a noninvasive surgery	1.4330	0.04726	194	128	48	18
316	I’ve outlined the areas that your insurance covers.	1.4330	0.04947	194	132	40	22
317	You may feel a slight poke.	1.4328	0.04498	201	130	55	16
318	Honestly? This procedure's kind of hit or miss.	1.4326	0.04138	215	135	67	13
319	See, no more hiccups!	1.4324	0.05009	185	125	40	20
320	But first, a stress test.	1.4322	0.04529	199	129	54	16
321	Before Johns Hopkins, I was pre-med at Barnum & Bailey.	1.4317	0.04678	183	118	51	14
322	We are closing in on the problem.	1.4314	0.04171	204	127	66	11
323	I worked in a carnival before med school.	1.4313	0.04399	211	137	57	17
324	...of course, past performance is no guarantee of future results.	1.4313	0.04977	211	149	33	29
325	It cures hiccups and constipation.	1.4312	0.04349	218	142	58	18
326	My residency program was at Benihana's.	1.4301	0.05071	193	134	35	24
327	It won’t cure you, but it’ll take your mind off it.	1.4300	0.04342	200	127	60	13
328	Of course I'm board certified.	1.4286	0.04358	224	148	56	20
329	Using that little hammer to test your reflexes is so last-century.	1.4280	0.04393	243	166	50	27
330	It only hurts when you move. . .	1.4265	0.04239	211	135	62	14
331	As promised, your constipation will soon be a thing of the past.	1.4265	0.04547	211	141	50	20
332	Now do you trust me with your adult circumcision.	1.4265	0.04607	204	136	49	19
333	Looks like we can rule out Parkinson’s.	1.4263	0.04907	190	129	41	20
334	Students, Mr. Carlson is here for his vasectomy.	1.4242	0.04348	231	155	54	22
335	Don't worry. I can do this blindfolded.	1.4227	0.03963	220	138	71	11
336	You can leave your shoes and socks on.	1.4225	0.04844	187	126	43	18
337	They use a different approach in the Urology department.	1.4216	0.04603	204	137	48	19
338	Don't worry, you're one of the folks with GOOD insurance coverage.	1.4213	0.04292	235	158	55	22
339	And then the one who comes closest without nicking the body gets to do the operation.	1.4211	0.04903	190	130	40	20
340	This surgery is usually painless.	1.4208	0.04528	202	134	51	17
341	It is ineffective, stupid and dangerous, but it's the only treatment your insurance provider, Dumbfuck Loser Circus Nerd Life & Casualty, will cover.	1.4208	0.05042	202	144	31	27
342	I knew we could get your heart rate up.	1.4206	0.04447	214	143	52	19
343	Yes, a few patients have reported side effects.	1.4203	0.04450	207	137	53	17
344	You may experience some discomfort.	1.4192	0.04904	167	110	44	13
345	It’s cutting edge technology.	1.4187	0.04617	203	137	47	19
346	On the other hand, you could take the vaccine.	1.4181	0.05038	177	121	38	18
347	I'm concerned about your reflexes. You didn't catch a single knife.	1.4176	0.05117	182	127	34	21
348	Good news! It’s only invasive if you move.	1.4176	0.04748	182	121	46	15
349	Now we'll test your reflexes.	1.4174	0.04189	218	142	61	15
350	Wait. You have hands?	1.4167	0.04953	168	112	42	14
351	Unfortunately, this is the best that your health insurance could offer.	1.4158	0.04788	202	140	40	22
352	I have a perfect success rate at curing nervous disorders such as yours.	1.4158	0.04544	190	125	51	14
353	Your insurance only covers twelve tries.	1.4154	0.04220	195	124	61	10
354	I find that it’s the surest cure for constipation.	1.4152	0.04960	171	115	41	15
355	I did my residency at Ringling.	1.4150	0.04770	200	138	41	21
356	Don't worry - this is cutting edge technology	1.4150	0.04609	200	135	47	18
357	Some experts say: "Past performances cannot predict the future	1.4143	0.04552	210	143	47	20
358	It’ll be over in seconds.”	1.4131	0.04200	213	139	60	14
359	Only if a laxative doesn't do the trick	1.4127	0.04971	189	132	36	21
360	Didn't you read the consent form when you volunteered for the study?	1.4125	0.04967	160	106	42	12
361	Of course you'll be on a spinning wheel for the actual procedure.	1.4123	0.04682	211	147	41	23
362	Side effects are very rare and include abdominal pain, headaches, dizziness, agitation, fatigue, and death.	1.4121	0.05085	165	112	38	15
363	In addition to medical school, I performed with Cirque du Soleil for five years.	1.4121	0.04568	199	134	48	17
364	This is when you might reconsider and ask for a second opinion	1.4118	0.05250	170	119	32	19
365	Funny, but a lot of my patients choose to revisit their insurance plans before treatment...	1.4118	0.04379	204	135	54	15
366	I did my residency in Vegas.	1.4115	0.04567	192	128	49	15
367	This is what you get with an advantage plan.	1.4112	0.04711	197	135	43	19
368	Don’t worry, we’ll both be blindfolded.	1.4103	0.04338	195	127	56	12
369	Now let’s check your pulse.	1.4103	0.05053	156	104	40	12
370	Time for your stress test.	1.4096	0.04571	188	125	49	14
371	Next, we'll be checking your reflexes.	1.4095	0.04548	210	144	46	20
372	Please step over to the wall so I can test your blood pressure.	1.4093	0.04422	215	146	50	19
373	We can also do an MRI.	1.4088	0.04822	181	123	42	16
374	The ones you see are not the problem.	1.4086	0.04667	186	125	46	15
375	And when we’re done, your hiccups will be cured.	1.4080	0.04892	174	118	41	15
376	I Told Him A Dozen Times To Stop Flinching	1.4080	0.04892	174	118	41	15
377	We find this very effective in helping patients pass kidney stones.	1.4070	0.04931	172	117	40	15
378	Always a first time.	1.4070	0.05264	172	122	30	20
379	I know it's a bit unorthodox, but I've found that most patients declare they are cured after one treatment!	1.4068	0.04962	177	122	38	17
380	This is the only cardiac stress test your health insurance will cover.	1.4068	0.04831	177	120	42	15
381	I'm not a specialist, but I'll take a stab at it	1.4062	0.04907	192	135	36	21
382	…and that’s how we test anti anxiety medication.	1.4057	0.05068	175	122	35	18
383	And your hiccups will be gone in no time.	1.4053	0.04773	190	131	41	18
384	Are you still constipated?	1.4046	0.04908	173	118	40	15
385	As you can see,this does not have to be an invasive procedure.	1.4046	0.04908	173	118	40	15
386	It's how I unwind after a long day in surgery.....	1.4045	0.04676	178	119	46	13
387	the first twelve are easy	1.4040	0.04346	198	131	54	13
388	Appendectomies really are a game of chance...	1.4037	0.04776	161	106	45	10
389	I told you it wasn't invasive.	1.4033	0.04687	181	122	45	14
390	So for your type of insurance we'll have to go with this procedure.	1.4032	0.04904	186	130	37	19
391	Now that I've outlined the procedure, do you have any questions?	1.4032	0.04535	186	124	49	13
392	It's the only stress test your insurance will cover.	1.4024	0.05263	169	120	30	19
393	I was with the circus prior to taking up surgery	1.4021	0.04546	189	127	48	14
394	I honestly can’t believe I missed 12 times.	1.4021	0.04866	194	137	36	21
395	I think you’ll fit right in.	1.4020	0.04387	199	133	52	14
396	And just like that...your hiccups are gone!	1.4012	0.05127	172	121	33	18
397	Try again. Where exactly is this stabbing pain you’re feeling?	1.4011	0.04919	182	127	37	18
398	It's not a surgical theater - more of a big top.	1.4011	0.04579	187	126	47	14
399	Oh, come on. You only have a month to live.	1.4010	0.04969	197	142	31	24
400	It's noninvasive surgery.	1.4000	0.05189	175	125	30	20
401	You can keep the gown on this time.	1.4000	0.04791	160	106	44	10
402	Fortunately, your insurance covers my blindfold.	1.4000	0.05351	150	104	32	14
403	Allow me to outline the procedure.	1.4000	0.04738	185	127	42	16
404	This will be my first vasectomy.	1.3989	0.04836	183	127	39	17
405	Never a dull moment is our motto.	1.3987	0.04913	158	106	41	11
406	Honestly, though, it's not for testing your eyesight.	1.3986	0.05316	148	102	33	13
407	I always need a few warmups before we go into the operating room.	1.3977	0.04727	171	115	44	12
408	Like all medical procedures, this one is not without risk.	1.3977	0.04799	171	116	42	13
409	What do you say we take a stab at it?	1.3976	0.04900	166	113	40	13
410	Not to worry. My accuracy rate is 92.3 per cent.	1.3970	0.04323	199	133	53	13
411	We're a learning hospital.	1.3969	0.04518	194	132	47	15
412	Before we start - these are the spots your insurance covers	1.3968	0.04840	189	133	37	19
413	Past performance may not be indicative of future results.	1.3967	0.04996	184	131	33	20
414	I'll run a few more tests, but I think it's safe to say that anxiety isn't the problem.	1.3966	0.04511	179	119	49	11
415	Think of it as Western acupuncture.	1.3966	0.05013	174	122	35	17
416	I promise, your vasectomy will be completed before you even know what happened.	1.3964	0.04981	169	117	37	15
417	I'm board certified.	1.3963	0.05162	164	115	33	16
418	Relax, this procedure has a 95% survival rate.	1.3952	0.04950	167	115	38	14
419	So, yes, I am good with a knife.	1.3952	0.04950	167	115	38	14
420	You’re probably thinking to yourself “Why did I sign up for the high deductible plan?”	1.3952	0.04649	167	111	46	10
421	If all goes well, it's an outpatient procedure!	1.3951	0.04346	205	139	51	15
422	This helps all my patients get over their fear of needles.	1.3951	0.04663	162	107	46	9
423	Stand there and we'll see if we can locate the source of the problem.	1.3949	0.04930	157	106	40	11
424	Sorry, but this is the best medical assisted suicide option I can offer given your insurance.	1.3947	0.04819	190	134	37	19
425	This is the best cure for constipation that I've ever seen.	1.3946	0.04914	185	131	35	19
426	Ready for your auraectomy?	1.3946	0.04669	185	127	43	15
427	Oh, it's just some modern art the hospital board commissioned.	1.3943	0.04989	175	123	35	17
428	And now your vasectomy will be a piece of cake.	1.3939	0.04730	198	140	38	20
429	The procedure isn't perfect, but it's all your insurance will cover.	1.3938	0.04590	193	133	44	16
430	Trust me. They’re sterilized.	1.3938	0.05400	160	115	27	18
431	Fortunately for you, I specialize in “external”medicine.	1.3933	0.04662	178	121	44	13
432	The insurance wouldn't approve the gamma knife surgery. Here's what your plan covers	1.3922	0.05265	153	107	32	14
433	Despite my flawless results, insurance won't cover this procedure.	1.3920	0.04656	199	140	40	19
434	Tell me you don’t feel more alive.	1.3918	0.05071	171	121	33	17
435	For this last one, you need to pull the gown up a little.	1.3918	0.05003	171	120	35	16
436	Nine out of ten doctors miss	1.3918	0.04799	194	138	36	20
437	Despite several attempts, the nurse was not able to draw blood.	1.3916	0.05439	143	100	30	13
438	Surprisingly, your HMO actually covers this.	1.3915	0.04656	189	131	42	16
439	It helps us get your stool sample.	1.3913	0.04619	184	126	44	14
440	As you can see,our scans show that you are extremely lucky.	1.3913	0.05075	161	112	35	14
441	Barnum and Bailey School of Medicine, why do you ask??	1.3913	0.05300	161	115	29	17
442	Of course there are other options, if you have insurance	1.3907	0.05145	151	104	35	12
443	I’m terrible at drawing blood.	1.3907	0.05557	151	109	25	17
444	So, how’s next Tuesday sound for the vasectomy?	1.3906	0.04603	192	133	43	16
445	Wish I was that good with a scalpel.	1.3905	0.04756	169	115	42	12
446	Come see me next week. I might have missed something.	1.3905	0.05113	169	120	32	17
447	X-Rays show no indication of a stabbing pain. Let's try an MRI.	1.3904	0.04751	187	131	39	17
448	You may feel a small pinch.	1.3902	0.05155	164	116	32	16
449	Your stress test looks good so far.	1.3899	0.04629	159	105	46	8
450	Reflexes? Check.	1.3895	0.04769	172	118	41	13
451	Of course, your insurance coverage will determine my accuracy.	1.3893	0.05278	149	104	32	13
452	This should cure your hiccups.	1.3892	0.04794	167	114	41	12
453	You might be my twin brother, but I still think I'm going to enjoy this.	1.3892	0.04942	167	116	37	14
454	The next one might sting a little.	1.3892	0.04718	167	113	43	11
455	It's the only bladder test covered by your health plan.	1.3889	0.04445	198	136	47	15
456	You only have to go under the knife one more time.	1.3889	0.04816	162	110	41	11
457	Don't worry. You can see I never miss.	1.3889	0.04687	180	124	42	14
458	Yes, it’s usually a noninvasive procedure.	1.3885	0.05084	157	109	35	13
459	No worries. I can perform this procedure blindfolded.	1.3885	0.05163	157	110	33	14
460	Actually I work in billing.	1.3885	0.05395	157	113	27	17
461	As long as you stay still, it's a totally non-invasive procedure just like the brochure promises.	1.3885	0.04837	157	106	41	10
462	This should relieve your constipation.	1.3882	0.04734	170	116	42	12
463	... and then we'll check your blood pressure.	1.3882	0.04949	170	119	36	15
464	I do my best work with an audience and a blindfold.	1.3882	0.04660	170	115	44	11
465	As you can see, I'm very good. Of course, if I miss, you'll get a full refund.	1.3879	0.04908	165	114	38	13
466	I've been practicing, A LOT.	1.3876	0.04586	178	121	45	12
467	As your medical insurance doesn't cover anesthetics, we need you to faint from fright.	1.3875	0.05015	160	111	36	13
468	You’re taller than our last volunteer.	1.3875	0.04855	160	109	40	11
469	Are you a betting man?	1.3873	0.04881	142	94	41	7
470	Don't turn and don't cough.	1.3871	0.04790	155	104	42	9
471	As your cardiologist, I recommend a stress test.	1.3871	0.04702	155	103	44	8
472	We'll get started when my lovely assistant arrives.	1.3869	0.04695	168	114	43	11
473	Yes that’s your ideal profile. At Weight Loss Clinic we have ways of encouraging our clients to reach their ideal profile.	1.3869	0.05061	168	119	33	16
474	Barnum and Bailey University, why do you ask?	1.3869	0.05061	168	119	33	16
475	Bet your hiccups are gone	1.3867	0.04532	181	123	46	12
476	It's cutting edge treatment	1.3867	0.04600	181	124	44	13
477	I’m also licensed to guess your weight.	1.3867	0.04859	181	128	36	17
478	Do you mind if I also post the surgery to TikTok?	1.3859	0.04738	184	129	39	16
479	You won't be missed.	1.3855	0.04958	166	116	36	14
480	As you can see, it's really important that you lie still.	1.3852	0.05562	135	95	28	12
481	You can tie the gown in the front if it makes you feel better.	1.3851	0.04911	161	111	38	12
482	It’s cutting edge medicine.	1.3851	0.04831	161	110	40	11
483	As you can see, your results are outstanding so far; we just need to run one more test.	1.3851	0.04989	161	112	36	13
484	I specialize in minimally invasive surgery.	1.3841	0.05474	138	97	29	12
485	Don't worry, this isn't my first vasectomy.	1.3835	0.04425	206	144	45	17
486	We're not quite sure where the tumor is but I can take a stab at it.	1.3833	0.04679	180	125	41	14
487	This is the one authorized by your insurance.	1.3831	0.04978	154	106	37	11
488	We'll now test your reflexes in a fun new way.	1.3829	0.04633	175	120	43	12
489	If you let me use an axe, I'll throw in a free vasectomy.	1.3827	0.05116	162	115	32	15
490	Aren't you glad that this randomized controlled trial isn't double-blind?	1.3827	0.05191	162	116	30	16
491	You might feel a slight sting.	1.3819	0.05121	144	99	35	10
492	There is a definite pattern here.	1.3818	0.04746	165	113	41	11
493	I've got one left. Where do you want it?	1.3815	0.04879	173	122	36	15
494	I am Dr. George Santos and and I will be performing your vasectomy using my newly-developed painless technique.	1.3815	0.05081	173	125	30	18
495	Well, George, we're going to test how that new incontinence medication is working.	1.3813	0.05721	139	101	23	15
496	Well, the good news is you have no reflexes.	1.3812	0.04724	181	127	39	15
497	I'd like to run one more test.	1.3810	0.04762	168	116	40	12
498	100% board certified!	1.3810	0.05404	147	105	28	14
499	Let me know if you feel anything.	1.3810	0.05047	147	101	36	10
500	Yours will be the first between the legs.	1.3810	0.04457	189	130	46	13
501	When's the last time you had a stress test?	1.3807	0.04611	176	121	43	12
502	Sure, an MRI would be better but it's not in your network.	1.3806	0.04946	134	89	39	6
503	Yes ,it is a bit like acupuncture.	1.3804	0.04793	184	131	36	17
504	This new procedure is hit or miss.	1.3801	0.04987	171	122	33	16
505	Totally cures constipation.	1.3800	0.05324	150	107	29	14
506	Well Mr. Smith, are we ready for our Stress Test?	1.3800	0.05650	150	111	21	18
507	We feel we're on the cutting edge.	1.3800	0.05239	150	106	31	13
508	Never missed yet.	1.3793	0.05092	145	100	35	10
509	It's outpatient.	1.3791	0.04637	153	102	44	7
510	Well, sometimes, yes, but that's why you and I both have insurance.	1.3786	0.05216	140	97	33	10
511	Be sure to keep your knees apart for the next one.	1.3786	0.05116	140	96	35	9
512	I'm confident this treatment will fix your constipation.	1.3778	0.05551	135	96	27	12
513	You’re an organ donor, right?	1.3778	0.04326	180	121	50	9
514	Looks like you came through the procedure very well.	1.3776	0.05326	143	101	30	12
515	You'll be lucky 13	1.3776	0.05233	143	100	32	11
516	So you lost control of your bladder. Your hiccups are cured, aren't they.	1.3768	0.05558	138	99	26	13
517	Not to worry, you'll be facing the wall.	1.3767	0.04776	146	98	41	7
518	Enough practice. Let's get that appendix out.	1.3766	0.05218	154	110	30	14
519	Relax. I’m a doctor.	1.3765	0.04955	162	114	35	13
520	Congratulations, you passed our cardiac stress test with flying colors	1.3765	0.04790	170	119	38	13
521	My surgical residency was with Ringling Brothers.”	1.3759	0.05282	141	99	31	11
522	We have a new cutting edge procedure.	1.3758	0.05257	149	106	30	13
523	Long-distance surgery is all the rage now.	1.3757	0.04650	181	127	40	14
524	Remember, no treatment is without risk.	1.3750	0.04810	176	125	36	15
525	Well, you aced the stress test. Now let's check that prostate.	1.3750	0.04827	168	118	37	13
526	It's the only pre-op prep covered by your insurance.	1.3750	0.05265	152	109	29	14
527	Next we will test your reflexes.	1.3750	0.04677	168	116	41	11
528	If you don’t mind I’d like to run just one more test.	1.3743	0.04620	171	118	42	11
529	Relax, FDA approval is expected to come through any day now.	1.3743	0.04767	171	120	38	13
530	Very few of my patients don’t stick to the diet.	1.3742	0.05349	155	113	26	16
531	I was told I’d be going under the knife, singular.	1.3742	0.05109	155	110	32	13
532	Stand right on that red stain.	1.3741	0.05127	147	103	33	11
533	I always wanted to be in the circus. My parents insisted on medical school.	1.3741	0.05133	139	96	34	9
534	We've had zero post-operative complaints.	1.3741	0.05234	139	97	32	10
535	I almost never miss a diagnosis.	1.3736	0.04289	182	123	50	9
536	As you know, all surgeries come with a certain risk.	1.3735	0.04713	166	115	40	11
537	Trust me, you won't feel a thing.	1.3734	0.04792	158	109	39	10
538	My speciality is external medicine.	1.3734	0.04792	158	109	39	10
539	No more hiccups, am I right?	1.3729	0.04720	177	125	38	14
540	Why else would it be called a “medical practice?”	1.3728	0.04948	169	121	33	15
541	Now, let's see if your new anti-anxiety medication is working.	1.3725	0.04984	153	107	35	11
542	So I figured with skills like this, becoming a surgeon would be easy.	1.3724	0.05080	145	101	34	10
543	You might want to face the wall for this one.	1.3724	0.04789	145	98	40	7
544	That’s 4 years of Med School & 4 years of clown college	1.3724	0.05174	145	102	32	11
545	Sorry this is my first circumcision.	1.3718	0.05081	156	111	32	13
546	On the other hand, past results are no guarantee of future performance.	1.3718	0.05081	156	111	32	13
547	Well, yes, medicine can sometimes be a bit hit or miss.	1.3718	0.04916	156	109	36	11
548	Cutting edge technology.	1.3716	0.05008	148	103	35	10
549	I’m also terrible at Operation the game	1.3716	0.05099	148	104	33	11
550	Your insurance doesn’t cover anesthesia or an operating room.	1.3714	0.04824	175	125	35	15
551	Just tell me where it hurts	1.3713	0.04766	167	117	38	12
552	It's my cure for the toughest cases of hiccups, like yours.	1.3711	0.05012	159	113	33	13
553	We’ve exhausted every procedure except one	1.3710	0.05779	124	89	24	11
554	Of course there are those who associate the number 13 with bad luck.	1.3709	0.04848	151	104	38	9
555	When the circus closed, I asked myself - what’s my transferable skill?	1.3708	0.04896	178	129	32	17
556	yes, you would be number 13	1.3706	0.05407	143	103	27	13
557	Have you heard the term "practicing medicine?"	1.3704	0.05022	162	116	32	14
558	Actually, past performance is a reliable enough indicator of future results.	1.3704	0.04541	162	110	44	8
559	On second thought,I think I’ll go with radiation.	1.3701	0.04871	154	107	37	10
560	Hospital? This is the Museum of Modern Art.	1.3701	0.05208	154	111	29	14
561	For most patients the procedure is painless.	1.3699	0.04957	146	101	36	9
562	We could try it again arthroscopically.	1.3694	0.04890	157	110	36	11
563	Side effects may include sharp stabbing pain.	1.3691	0.05417	149	109	25	15
564	Trust me. I'm with doctors without borders.	1.3691	0.04980	149	104	35	10
565	This will teach you not to fidget in the MRI.	1.3687	0.04575	160	109	43	8
566	Now to pinpoint the problem.	1.3684	0.04302	171	115	49	7
567	Just one more with you facing the board.	1.3684	0.04822	152	105	38	9
568	Just show me what you'd like me to remove.	1.3684	0.05695	133	97	23	13
569	Ohhh, it’s eye, nose, and throw doctor.	1.3684	0.04912	152	106	36	10
570	I know the others said it was inoperable, but I'm willing to take a stab at it.	1.3684	0.05387	133	94	29	10
571	This is cutting edge medicine	1.3684	0.05171	152	109	30	13
572	It's really more of an art than a science.	1.3681	0.04903	144	99	37	8
573	I've been looking into practices outside of conventional medicine. This is your stress test.	1.3678	0.04699	174	123	38	13
574	In medical school, this is where we decide whether our graduates become surgeons or go into teaching.	1.3676	0.05504	136	98	26	12
575	The margins are clear.	1.3676	0.05093	136	94	34	8
576	And again, I’m sorry about your arm.	1.3673	0.04835	147	101	38	8
577	I specialize in external medicine.	1.3673	0.05206	147	105	30	12
578	Cigarette?	1.3672	0.05419	128	90	29	9
579	No, I'm not a rabbi, but I've done this a thousand times.	1.3672	0.05067	128	87	35	6
580	It's a spin on the childhood classic, pin the tail on the donkey	1.3671	0.04696	158	109	40	9
581	Don't worry, a negative result is good."	1.3667	0.05131	150	107	31	12
582	Luckily, you're a good fit for this surgical trial	1.3667	0.05043	150	106	33	11
583	As you can see, our surgeons are very skilled.	1.3667	0.04450	180	125	44	11
584	I’m much more accurate when I can see what’s inside.	1.3660	0.04973	153	108	34	11
585	Now I'd like to check your reflexes.	1.3657	0.04461	175	121	44	10
586	It's this or the rectal exam.	1.3657	0.05458	134	96	27	11
587	The new operating table will arrive any day.	1.3655	0.05162	145	103	31	11
588	I rarely lose a patient.	1.3655	0.04776	145	99	39	7
589	Without volunteers, clinical studies just wouldn’t be possible.	1.3655	0.05162	145	103	31	11
590	Well, the good news is that you've avoided going under the knife.	1.3653	0.04832	167	119	35	13
591	As you can see going under the knife is perfectly safe.	1.3650	0.04955	137	94	36	7
592	I call it "In-acupuncture." It works wonders; one treatment and my patients are good to go.	1.3650	0.05167	137	96	32	9
593	There are, of course, risks associated with this type of surgery…	1.3650	0.05567	137	100	24	13
594	And you thought an MRI is scary?	1.3649	0.05176	148	106	30	12
595	It's a new concept in surgery. It's big on Tik-Tok so we're giving it a try.	1.3648	0.05002	159	114	32	13
596	Past performance does not guarantee future results.	1.3643	0.05385	129	91	29	9
597	As you can see, this is a very low risk procedure.	1.3643	0.05496	129	92	27	10
598	You are I both know where the next one goes.	1.3643	0.04988	140	97	35	8
599	This patient didn’t need anesthesia. How about you?	1.3642	0.04744	151	104	39	8
600	Oh, that's just where I practice.	1.3642	0.05188	151	109	29	13
601	No, it doesn’t spin	1.3636	0.05512	132	95	26	11
602	See sir,you can't afford to gain any more weight.	1.3636	0.05113	143	101	32	10
603	Well, you might feel a slight sting	1.3636	0.04771	154	107	38	9
604	Our lawyers require me to say past performance is no guarantee of future results	1.3636	0.05512	132	95	26	11
605	Nurse, blindfold!	1.3636	0.05076	132	91	34	7
606	Since you have no insurance, this is the free reflex test.	1.3636	0.05093	165	121	28	16
607	And this is why we call it PRACTICING medicine.	1.3631	0.04733	168	119	37	12
608	I could never be a surgeon.	1.3630	0.05321	135	96	29	10
609	You might feel a little pressure.	1.3630	0.04999	135	93	35	7
610	Odds are, if the cancer doesn’t kill you, I will.	1.3629	0.05876	124	91	21	12
611	Ya, I know, but so far modern science has yet to come up with a better bladder control test.	1.3624	0.05235	149	108	28	13
612	The next procedure is more invasive.	1.3624	0.05059	149	106	32	11
613	Yes, it’s your stress test.	1.3623	0.04926	138	95	36	7
614	It’s cutting edge therapy.	1.3623	0.05721	138	103	20	15
615	Nice. We can check off nervous system response.	1.3623	0.05137	138	97	32	9
616	And now for your blood pressure test!	1.3622	0.04438	196	140	41	15
617	Just don't sneeze.	1.3622	0.05204	127	88	32	7
618	So I left the circus and went into medicine....	1.3620	0.04832	163	116	35	12
619	All right - now this time ,with the blindfold.	1.3618	0.04900	152	107	35	10
620	The nurse tells me you're having trouble giving a urine sample	1.3618	0.05326	152	112	25	15
621	I took a stab at it, so next let’s try a shot in the dark.	1.3618	0.05243	152	111	27	14
622	As you can see, the procedure is completely painless.	1.3618	0.04810	152	106	37	9
623	As you can see, Mr. Smith, no surgery is necessary. You've dodged the knife.	1.3615	0.05461	130	93	27	10
624	This procedure has never worked.	1.3615	0.05238	130	91	31	8
625	I guarantee you'll be able to pee after this operation.	1.3615	0.05461	130	93	27	10
626	I guess I just got a little bored doing vasectomies the same old way.	1.3614	0.04534	166	115	42	9
627	I could do acupuncture if you prefer	1.3613	0.05004	155	111	32	12
628	I'm also board certified.	1.3613	0.04657	155	107	40	8
629	It’s our new stress test.	1.3611	0.04987	144	101	34	9
630	If my throw lands next to your problem, you get free medical care for a year	1.3611	0.05179	144	103	30	11
631	You passed. It's quicker than the treadmill.	1.3609	0.05373	133	95	28	10
632	It's the best stress test your health insurance covers.	1.3609	0.05478	133	96	26	11
633	And your insurance will cover it.	1.3607	0.05082	122	83	34	5
634	Step in. There's one left.	1.3605	0.04821	147	102	37	8
635	This has proven to be the best non-invasive treatment for constipation.	1.3603	0.05490	136	99	25	12
636	Of course, you're free to seek a second opinion.	1.3603	0.05078	136	95	33	8
637	Don't worry, 9 out of 10 doctors recommend this practice.	1.3603	0.05288	136	97	29	10
638	Let's get you prepped for your colonoscopy.	1.3603	0.05288	136	97	29	10
639	There's a good chance you'll be missed.	1.3602	0.04949	161	116	32	13
640	This teaching tool leads most of my overweight patients to lose weight before the surgery.	1.3600	0.04661	150	103	40	7
641	Now, about that vasectomy	1.3600	0.05031	150	107	32	11
642	It's like acupuncture, only faster."	1.3597	0.05306	139	100	28	11
643	No, this isn’t covered by insurance	1.3597	0.05003	139	97	34	8
644	Now let’s make sure you haven’t gained any weight since the last check-up.	1.3595	0.05456	153	115	21	17
645	Now it ‘s your turn.	1.3594	0.05171	128	89	32	7
646	Do you still have the hiccups?	1.3592	0.04931	142	99	35	8
647	Yeah, here's your option...blindfold or no blindfold.	1.3592	0.05226	142	102	29	11
648	My diagnosis: you either have nerves of steel or no nerves at all.	1.3590	0.06004	117	86	20	11
649	Yours is an interesting case. I would like to take a stab at it.	1.3588	0.05426	131	94	27	10
650	The new Cyber knife technology is trending more analogue.	1.3588	0.05205	131	92	31	8
651	…and of course, no medical procedure is entirely without risk…	1.3588	0.05317	131	93	29	9
652	I got a great deal on my malpractice insurance.	1.3588	0.05205	131	92	31	8
653	They teach you in Medical School that the cuts you make are just as important as the ones you don't.	1.3586	0.05055	145	103	32	10
654	Just one more.	1.3586	0.04762	145	100	38	7
655	This is the only vasectomy procedure your insurance covers	1.3586	0.05332	145	106	26	13
656	Don’t worry. We’ll know right away if something goes wrong.	1.3585	0.04745	159	112	37	10
657	That’s how I relax.	1.3585	0.04828	159	113	35	11
658	…but at least it’s covered by your insurance.	1.3585	0.04486	159	109	43	7
659	The surgery should be quick.	1.3583	0.05525	120	85	27	8
660	I’m worried I may have missed something.	1.3577	0.05048	137	96	33	8
661	Budgetary cutbacks have forced us to slightly alter our cardiac stress testing...	1.3576	0.05009	165	121	29	15
662	And now we'll do your cardio stress test!	1.3576	0.04783	165	118	35	12
663	This is our minimally invasive surgical option.	1.3571	0.05341	126	89	29	8
664	I'd like to take another stab at a diagnosis.	1.3571	0.05019	154	111	31	12
665	See. I rarely miss	1.3571	0.05176	140	100	30	10
666	It's like a cross between acupuncture and shock therapy.	1.3571	0.05019	154	111	31	12
667	Welcome to my practice.	1.3567	0.04519	157	108	42	7
668	You'll be the first patient in the double-blind part of the clinical trial.	1.3567	0.04867	157	112	34	11
669	So should I take another stab at it?”	1.3567	0.04951	157	113	32	12
670	It’s why we call it a ‘practice’	1.3566	0.05472	143	106	23	14
671	I am going to miss you.	1.3566	0.05369	129	92	28	9
672	Imagine how good I am with a scalpel when my eyes are open!	1.3565	0.06075	115	85	19	11
673	You finally get Universal Health Care and you're still not happy.	1.3562	0.04803	160	114	35	11
674	Your insurance no longer covers the treadmill test. They suggest this as a cost-effective option.	1.3562	0.05043	160	117	29	14
675	So you're here for a vasectomy?	1.3562	0.04835	146	102	36	8
676	I never said medicine was an exact science.	1.3562	0.05026	146	104	32	10
677	You are probably asking asking yourself, where does the last knife go?	1.3561	0.05392	132	95	27	10
678	Okay... Now back to my day job.	1.3561	0.05498	132	96	25	11
679	Okay, just going to test your reflexes then you can get dressed	1.3558	0.05051	163	120	28	15
680	If you’re able to remain still, we’ve cured your anxiety.	1.3558	0.04898	163	118	32	13
681	Can you try sticking your cyst out just a little?	1.3557	0.05223	149	109	27	13
682	Actually, it's " second" do no harm. First, we have to practice.	1.3557	0.05135	149	108	29	12
683	This shouldn't hurt a bit.	1.3557	0.05223	149	109	27	13
684	I’m afraid your condition is inoperable.	1.3556	0.04639	135	91	40	4
685	It’s always hit and miss when it comes to surgery.	1.3556	0.05898	135	103	16	16
686	Sure, there's a good chance I can remove your skin tags	1.3556	0.05201	135	96	30	9
687	As you can see, you really have nothing to worry about.	1.3554	0.04603	166	117	39	10
688	At least it's in network.	1.3553	0.04887	152	108	34	10
689	I practice homeopathic surgery.	1.3553	0.04975	152	109	32	11
690	And when I say hold still, I mean “hold still!”	1.3551	0.05018	138	97	33	8
691	You may feel a slight pinch.	1.3551	0.05325	138	100	27	11
692	Thanks for being flexible. We ran out of chalk.	1.3550	0.04699	169	121	36	12
693	Of course it never hurts to cross your fingers.	1.3548	0.05017	124	85	34	5
694	I find this method to be an efficient means of collecting various fluid samples from my patients.	1.3538	0.05445	130	94	26	10
695	Now let's check your blood pressure.	1.3538	0.04867	130	89	36	5
696	Yes, Sir. 'Non-invasive' is the key word.	1.3534	0.05028	133	93	33	7
697	Oops. I forgot one.	1.3534	0.05566	133	98	23	12
698	…and I could even do your appendectomy with my eyes closed.	1.3533	0.05018	150	108	31	11
699	That's nothing. I once took out an appendix from thirty feet away.	1.3533	0.05106	150	109	29	12
700	Give me a moment to warm up before your vasectomy.	1.3533	0.05018	150	108	31	11
701	This will show us if you have any trust issues.	1.3529	0.05063	136	96	32	8
702	No worries , I took an oath .	1.3529	0.04948	153	110	32	11
703	Obviously during the actual procedure I'll be blindfolded.	1.3529	0.05284	153	114	24	15
704	And that’s why it’s called a practice.	1.3529	0.04948	153	110	32	11
705	It's covered by your insurance.	1.3526	0.04709	156	110	37	9
706	This is why you cannot gain weight.	1.3525	0.05486	139	103	23	13
707	You can take off the gown now.	1.3525	0.05486	139	103	23	13
708	Patients are my target audience."	1.3525	0.04988	139	98	33	8
709	This is cutting edge.	1.3525	0.05811	122	90	21	11
710	This is what happens when an appendix tries to get away	1.3522	0.05136	159	118	26	15
711	Well, I did my residency at the Barnum and Bailey School of Medicine.	1.3520	0.05112	125	87	32	6
712	Budget cuts. We sold the treadmill, but this achieves the same in terms of heart rate.	1.3520	0.05237	125	88	30	7
713	And this one goes in the middle	1.3520	0.05821	125	93	20	12
714	Past results are no guarantee of future performance.	1.3519	0.04913	162	118	31	13
715	One hundred percent cure rate for hiccups.	1.3519	0.04834	162	117	33	12
716	I am going to let the intern throw the next few	1.3517	0.05041	145	104	31	10
717	It looks good so far, but we'll need some blood work.	1.3517	0.04847	145	102	35	8
718	This will be my first surgery, but it's not like I haven't been practicing.	1.3517	0.04748	145	101	37	7
719	It's guaranteed to cure your hiccups!	1.3517	0.04748	145	101	37	7
720	Now I'm going to check your prostate.	1.3516	0.05033	128	89	33	6
721	Actually, I’ve heard the healthcare in America is much worse.	1.3516	0.05272	128	91	29	8
722	We used to test reflexes by tapping your knee.	1.3514	0.05151	148	108	28	12
723	I promise I'll do better during your surgery.	1.3514	0.04876	148	105	34	9
724	The pre-op went well.	1.3511	0.05410	131	95	26	10
725	You’ll hear a whoosh but try to stay still.	1.3511	0.05074	131	92	32	7
726	It’s that or the prostate exam.	1.3511	0.05410	131	95	26	10
727	There's only one way to get rid of those hiccups.	1.3511	0.04957	131	91	34	6
728	Everyone has a little anxiety before surgery	1.3510	0.04990	151	109	31	11
729	I find it builds trust before the vasectomy.	1.3507	0.05531	134	99	23	12
730	The procedure is totally unnecessary, but is usually non-invasive.	1.3506	0.04746	154	109	36	9
731	Feeling better already, I'll bet.	1.3506	0.04921	154	111	32	11
732	My aim is as good as my handwriting	1.3504	0.05472	117	83	27	7
733	I dreamed of joining the circus but my dad made me go to med school.	1.3504	0.05032	137	97	32	8
734	Don't worry, I take the blindfold off during the actual surgery.	1.3503	0.04855	157	113	33	11
735	Next is your stress test.	1.3500	0.05260	140	102	27	11
736	A bris 36 years ago would have been so much easier.	1.3500	0.04791	160	115	34	11
737	Your insurance actually covers it.	1.3496	0.04896	123	84	35	4
738	Let me take one more stab at it.	1.3496	0.05413	123	88	27	8
739	Relax! They don't call me the William Tell of medicine for nothing.	1.3496	0.05413	123	88	27	8
740	This won’t hurt a bit ... usually.	1.3496	0.05030	123	85	33	5
741	My mother still thinks I went to medical school.	1.3496	0.05288	123	87	29	7
742	My oath: First do no harm.	1.3496	0.05413	123	88	27	8
743	Of course, your results may vary.	1.3492	0.05323	126	90	28	8
744	Moving during the test can throw off the results.	1.3492	0.05441	126	91	26	9
745	Your HMO only covers the game Operation.	1.3488	0.05238	129	92	29	8
746	Let's see if we can fit you in.	1.3488	0.04879	129	89	35	5
747	Don’t worry, the knives are all sterilized first.	1.3488	0.05121	129	91	31	7
748	This procedure has been the subject of many trials…some of them clinical.	1.3485	0.05689	132	99	20	13
749	Your blood pressure is a little high. Dealing with any stress?	1.3485	0.05156	132	94	30	8
750	Have I adequately outlined my approach to your surgery?	1.3485	0.05156	132	94	30	8
751	Try not to move.	1.3484	0.04446	155	107	42	6
752	As you can see, we haven’t quite decided where to start cutting.	1.3482	0.05338	112	78	29	5
753	We recommend this technique for constipation patients who can't use laxatives.	1.3481	0.05394	135	99	25	11
754	So I thought, 'What the heck? Knife thrower? Surgeon? Pretty much the same thing.'	1.3481	0.05185	135	97	29	9
755	See, you really want a surgeon with serious knife skills for a urological procedure.	1.3481	0.05394	135	99	25	11
756	'We find it motivates patients to stay within their healthy BMI range.'	1.3481	0.05291	135	98	27	10
757	My technique is totally non-invasive.	1.3481	0.04829	158	114	33	11
758	Not to worry, “Operation” was my favorite childhood board game.	1.3478	0.04895	138	97	34	7
759	Well, yes, there could be side effects.	1.3475	0.05131	141	102	29	10
760	We use this when insurance won't cover an MRI.	1.3475	0.05031	141	101	31	9
761	His diagnosis was malignant aura.	1.3475	0.05160	118	82	31	5
762	Let's see how this goes before we schedule a follow-up.	1.3472	0.05056	144	104	30	10
763	This or the prostate exam. Your choice.	1.3472	0.05151	144	105	28	11
764	Now you realize, past performance does not predict future performance.	1.3471	0.05341	121	86	28	7
765	So I’m actually a psychiatrist	1.3471	0.05593	121	88	24	9
766	You more or less fit the profile of my successful patients.	1.3469	0.04695	147	103	37	7
767	Now let's get rid of those hiccups.	1.3468	0.04997	124	86	33	5
768	Wanna guess where the 13th one goes?	1.3468	0.05253	124	88	29	7
769	'As you can see, I have a 100% accuracy rate."	1.3468	0.05497	124	90	25	9
770	And that’s blindfolded.	1.3465	0.04793	127	87	36	4
771	I think you see my point.	1.3464	0.04758	153	109	35	9
772	Can you show me where it hurts?	1.3462	0.05852	130	99	17	14
773	If this doesn't cure your constipation, I'm stuck.	1.3462	0.05089	130	92	31	7
774	Would you like me to take another stab at it?	1.3462	0.04783	156	112	34	10
775	Of course, you can always seek a second opinion.	1.3462	0.04849	130	90	35	5
776	Laser surgery is more accurate but this is more fun.	1.3462	0.05318	130	94	27	9
777	I find this a more accurate way of testing reflexes.	1.3459	0.04896	133	93	34	6
778	Our success rate with this procedure is excellent. I'm confident that your hiccups will disappear.	1.3459	0.05124	133	95	30	8
779	Of course you can trust me. We're identical twins.	1.3459	0.05342	133	97	26	10
780	Often we have to repeat the test.	1.3456	0.05046	136	97	31	8
781	Mom always said you should have gone to medical school and I should have joined the circus.	1.3456	0.05258	136	99	27	10
782	See! My accuracy is fine. Now please get back onto the operating table.	1.3456	0.05258	136	99	27	10
783	It’s time to play, you bet your life.	1.3455	0.05839	110	80	22	8
784	One more should do the trick.	1.3451	0.05198	142	104	27	11
785	I did say that the surgery was “exploratory “ didn’t I?	1.3448	0.04914	116	79	34	3
786	The good news is we recovered the last knife and you’ll be back to work soon. The bad news is you may need to change your name to something more feminine.	1.3448	0.05305	145	108	24	13
787	We should have the results from your adrenaline test back by Thursday...	1.3448	0.04930	145	104	32	9
788	"This procedure should've alleviated your constipation."	1.3444	0.04796	151	108	34	9
789	A reflex hammer to the knee is so 2022.	1.3443	0.05431	122	88	26	8
790	Enough practice. Let’s try your vasectomy.	1.3440	0.05577	125	92	23	10
791	I haven't been able to diagnose your problem just yet, but I'll take another stab at it.	1.3440	0.05460	125	91	25	9
792	Don’t worry I won’t miss this time.	1.3439	0.04582	157	111	38	8
793	My cure for your constipation.	1.3438	0.05370	128	93	26	9
794	You gotta admit, it works. Your hiccups are gone.	1.3438	0.05370	128	93	26	9
795	I’m just a surgeon. Wait until you see how the radiologist plays.	1.3438	0.05370	128	93	26	9
796	Part of my OR rotation was at SUNY - Barnum & Bailey	1.3438	0.05370	128	93	26	9
797	Feelin' extra lucky?	1.3435	0.05607	131	98	21	12
798	Here's where we check your reflexes.	1.3435	0.05056	131	93	31	7
799	I put myself through medical school, as circus performer.	1.3435	0.05171	131	94	29	8
800	If you still have the hiccups in a week come back and we’ll try again…	1.3435	0.05607	131	98	21	12
801	I call it Still Life with Knives	1.3433	0.05412	134	99	24	11
802	Trust me.	1.3429	0.06176	105	78	18	9
803	Stand there. We’ll have your constipation cleared up in no time.	1.3429	0.05046	140	101	30	9
804	This is a teaching hospital.	1.3429	0.05714	105	75	24	6
805	I told you I practiced surgery.	1.3427	0.04450	143	98	41	4
806	We can safely say your incontinence problems are over!	1.3427	0.05167	143	105	27	11
807	I interned at Benihana."	1.3421	0.05036	152	112	28	12
808	If you can't trust your brother, who can you trust?"	1.3421	0.05407	114	81	27	6
809	Are you wondering why the space in the middle is blank?	1.3419	0.04795	155	112	33	10
810	Would you mind if I tried to better my personal best of 12?	1.3419	0.05314	117	83	28	6
811	My last patient didn't need surgery at all.	1.3419	0.04880	117	80	34	3
812	We are a teaching hospital.”	1.3419	0.05715	117	86	22	9
813	We'll need a stress test before the surgery.	1.3418	0.05061	158	118	26	14
814	Yes, it's cutting edge technology.	1.3417	0.05358	120	86	27	7
815	You lost some weight since your last visit.	1.3415	0.05010	123	86	32	5
816	I need to know that you trust me.	1.3415	0.05141	123	87	30	6
817	We haven’t yet marked your inseam.	1.3415	0.04772	164	120	32	12
818	I just like to warm up before a vasectomy.	1.3413	0.05305	126	91	27	8
819	In the American Healthcare system, it is better to have luck than health.	1.3413	0.05305	126	91	27	8
820	Yes, my surgery residency was at Barnum and Bailey Hospital.	1.3413	0.05305	126	91	27	8
821	I call it a daggerotype	1.3413	0.05184	126	90	29	7
822	Of course no surgery is without risk.	1.3409	0.05139	132	95	29	8
823	Sorry, but with your insurance this is as close as we can come to you being put under the knife.	1.3409	0.05359	132	97	25	10
824	I would say that your odds are pretty good.	1.3407	0.05274	135	99	26	10
825	A blood draw may not be necessary.	1.3407	0.05060	135	97	30	8
826	Would you prefer to be in the control group?	1.3404	0.05116	141	103	28	10
827	Now do you trust me?	1.3403	0.05136	144	106	27	11
828	This treatment seems to be really helping with your anxiety Phil. Don't worry about where the next one lands.	1.3403	0.05041	144	105	29	10
829	We are going to have one hell of a time finding a vein on you.	1.3398	0.05781	103	74	23	6
830	It's for people scared of needles.	1.3398	0.05781	103	74	23	6
831	Don't worry, I'm a doctor	1.3397	0.05022	156	116	27	13
832	Well, Kevin, you're the one who wanted to be Speaker of the House.	1.3394	0.05861	109	80	21	8
833	I may only be a first year Resident but as you can see, I have been practicing.	1.3393	0.05609	112	81	24	7
834	Now I have to ask you to be absolutely still for this one if you're thinking of starting a family.	1.3393	0.05750	112	82	22	8
835	I think I removed all your nasty skin tags.	1.3393	0.05160	112	78	30	4
836	Your nervous condition has been cured. Thanks for your cooperation!	1.3391	0.05368	115	82	27	6
837	I have been practicing for my acupuncture boards	1.3391	0.05224	115	81	29	5
838	I could operate, or I could kill your aura.	1.3390	0.05800	118	88	20	10
839	The anesthesiologist is running late.	1.3390	0.05674	118	87	22	9
840	This surgery does involve some risk.	1.3388	0.05321	121	87	27	7
841	The gown just keeps the board clean and tidy.	1.3387	0.05713	124	93	20	11
842	It can take several tests to pinpoint the problem.	1.3387	0.05357	124	90	26	8
843	This is how we establish trust.	1.3387	0.05107	124	88	30	6
844	I've had a lot of luck with this procedure so far.	1.3387	0.04706	124	85	36	3
845	Let's check your reflexes	1.3386	0.04901	127	89	33	5
846	It's to make the vasectomy less scary.	1.3386	0.05150	127	91	29	7
847	Surgery is as much art as it is science	1.3386	0.05270	127	92	27	8
848	You can see I have an excellent success rate.	1.3385	0.05186	130	94	28	8
849	You’ll never guess where I studied.	1.3385	0.05300	130	95	26	9
850	So, under your insurance plan, I have to do it blindfolded	1.3383	0.05737	133	102	17	14
851	This is a test to see how well you can hold your bladder.	1.3381	0.05162	139	102	27	10
852	Of course, in the operating room, we'll us a table.	1.3381	0.05060	139	101	29	9
853	As you can see,I am fully board certified.	1.3381	0.05162	139	102	27	10
854	It’s a vision test for me.	1.3380	0.05085	142	104	28	10
855	Any procedure has risks.	1.3380	0.04781	142	101	34	7
856	the next shot will be your vasectomy	1.3379	0.04915	145	105	31	9
857	How about if I take another stab at diagnosing your problem?	1.3378	0.05300	148	112	22	14
858	So, as you can see, this is a teaching hospital…	1.3377	0.04593	151	107	37	7
859	Don't worry, you won't feel a thing.	1.3377	0.05065	154	115	26	13
860	I believe in noninvasive procedures.	1.3376	0.04568	157	112	37	8
861	It's a double-blind study, so we both have to close our eyes.	1.3376	0.04995	157	117	27	13
862	The procedure is a little “hit or miss”.	1.3374	0.04623	163	118	35	10
863	A skill set I picked up in pre-med.	1.3364	0.05930	107	79	20	8
864	And that's how we know your anti-anxiety medication is working.	1.3364	0.05466	107	76	26	5
865	Well, ‘acupuncture’ may be a bit generous.	1.3364	0.05780	107	78	22	7
866	After your surgery, we had a little fun with you before you woke up.	1.3364	0.06221	107	81	16	10
867	It's part science, part art, and part karma.	1.3364	0.05816	110	81	21	8
868	I always like a little warmup before putting you "under the knife."	1.3364	0.05522	110	79	25	6
869	Perfect posture!	1.3364	0.05522	110	79	25	6
870	"Well every procedure carries some risk, we do provide an optional bindfold."	1.3364	0.05522	110	79	25	6
871	Allergy to any metals?	1.3363	0.05423	113	81	26	6
872	Ok, let’s try again.	1.3362	0.05865	116	87	19	10
873	Am I good? That was with my eyes shut.	1.3361	0.05240	119	85	28	6
874	This is our non-invasive approach	1.3361	0.04665	119	81	36	2
875	That cured his PTSD	1.3361	0.05374	119	86	26	7
876	No need to be nervous. A vasectomy is a relatively simple procedure.	1.3361	0.05505	119	87	24	8
877	Well, I guess we're going to have to take a stab at it!	1.3361	0.05505	119	87	24	8
878	My next throw has to go between the legs.	1.3361	0.05535	122	90	23	9
879	So you’ve gained some weight, but it’s not life threatening yet…	1.3361	0.05021	122	86	31	5
880	You're steady on your feet. That's a good sign.	1.3361	0.05284	122	88	27	7
881	Of course you could also just do a bit more exercise and make some slight changes your diet, but I think this is the least terrifying option	1.3361	0.05284	122	88	27	7
882	The odds of dying are one in thirteen…	1.3360	0.05321	125	91	26	8
883	For the last time: yes, this is a totally normal vasectomy procedure.	1.3359	0.05465	128	95	23	10
884	All done. Those hiccups won't be an issue any more.	1.3359	0.05116	128	92	29	7
885	This is the only stress test your insurance will cover.	1.3359	0.05351	128	94	25	9
886	Your chance of recovery is hit and miss.	1.3359	0.05153	131	95	28	8
887	Now let’s get to the heart of the problem.	1.3359	0.05038	131	94	30	7
888	My pre-med was Barnum and Bailey	1.3359	0.05694	131	100	18	13
889	Think of it like acupuncture	1.3359	0.05266	131	96	26	9
890	Don’t worry. I’m an even better surgeon.	1.3359	0.04799	131	92	34	5
891	You're almost done with the Twitter pre-employment physical.	1.3358	0.05184	134	98	27	9
892	I’ll give you something to take the edge off.	1.3358	0.04890	137	98	32	7
893	The lead vest is just a precaution.	1.3357	0.04713	140	99	35	6
894	This is our cutting edge treatment.	1.3357	0.05029	140	102	29	9
895	My other gig is a surgeon."	1.3357	0.04957	143	104	30	9
896	This treatment is not covered by insurance but is actually fairly inexpensive.	1.3357	0.04754	143	102	34	7
897	Sometimes this procedure is in-patient; sometimes it’s out-patient.	1.3356	0.04789	146	105	33	8
898	This will test both your reflexes and your heart rate...and it is fun, for me.	1.3333	0.05316	129	95	25	9
899	It's targeted therapy. I'm Board certified.	1.3333	0.05838	120	91	18	11
900	We refer to this as cutting edge research.	1.3333	0.05341	132	98	24	10
901	See, one can combine a hobby and profession	1.3333	0.05150	117	83	29	5
902	This should motivate you to keep your weight within our guidelines	1.3333	0.04861	138	99	32	7
903	Just one more, we call the standing circumcision.	1.3333	0.05328	111	79	27	5
904	The results are inconclusive. I'd like to bring in an axe-thrower.	1.3333	0.05634	126	95	20	11
905	Or, you could take Prozac.	1.3333	0.04796	162	120	30	12
906	This probably won't hurt much	1.3333	0.05237	114	81	28	5
907	Now you know why we give our patients an enema prior to the surgery.	1.3333	0.05404	126	93	24	9
908	I know it seems silly, but your insurance company requires this step before they’ll cover the procedure.	1.3333	0.04963	129	92	31	6
909	It's an experimental procedure.	1.3333	0.04927	120	84	32	4
910	I’ve only missed a few times!!	1.3333	0.05150	117	83	29	5
911	That’s how I biopsy your aura.	1.3333	0.05201	129	94	27	8
912	This is just for diagnostics. Then we spin you on a wheel for the actual operation.	1.3333	0.05248	123	89	27	7
913	I'm sorry, but this is all your current healthcare plan would cover.	1.3333	0.05006	132	95	30	7
914	I see your points!	1.3333	0.05694	117	87	21	9
915	Just think of it as intense acupuncture.	1.3333	0.05449	132	99	22	11
916	Either way, you won’t feel a thing.	1.3333	0.06002	105	78	19	8
917	In my experience,there is no reason to believe thirteen can’t be a lucky number	1.3333	0.05177	138	102	26	10
918	I like to think of it as a cutting-edge procedure.	1.3333	0.05040	126	90	30	6
919	All patients requesting to be conscious during the operation must first pass the Flinch Test.	1.3333	0.05554	132	100	20	12
920	Some might question my credentials	1.3333	0.05593	120	89	22	9
921	I trained at the Barnum & Bailey College of Medicine.	1.3333	0.05526	114	83	24	7
922	I think my accuracy gets a little flimsy when my patients don't pay up.	1.3333	0.05204	120	86	28	6
923	Come back next week for some blood work.	1.3333	0.04702	117	80	35	2
924	Actually this IS cutting edge medicine.	1.3333	0.05257	135	100	25	10
925	A lot of men were uncomfortable with the way we used to check bladder control.	1.3333	0.05771	111	82	21	8
926	Sure laparoscopic is less invasive, but where’s the showmanship?	1.3333	0.04999	141	103	29	9
927	You’re going to feel a slight pinch	1.3333	0.05201	129	94	27	8
928	Here’s an outline of the procedure for you…	1.3333	0.04912	126	89	32	5
929	Trust me, I never miss.	1.3333	0.05012	111	77	31	3
930	I haven't missed in a long time	1.3311	0.04577	151	108	36	7
931	Trust me. I took an on-line course in acupuncture. You’re going to feel great once I’m done.	1.3311	0.04925	148	109	29	10
932	We’re calling it Hack-you-puncture	1.3310	0.05184	145	109	24	12
933	Like I promised, you didn't feel a thing.	1.3309	0.04611	139	98	36	5
934	Don't worry. You fit the profile perfectly.	1.3309	0.04938	139	101	30	8
935	You know, I am a cutting edge surgeon!	1.3309	0.05344	139	105	22	12
936	The last patient was lucky.	1.3309	0.04722	139	99	34	6
937	I'm a psychiatrist, not a surgeon.	1.3309	0.05043	139	102	28	9
938	For this procedure, don't turn your head or cough.	1.3309	0.05328	136	102	23	11
939	If I miss, I slash your bill in half.	1.3308	0.05198	133	98	26	9
940	There are some potential side effects I should mention…	1.3308	0.05393	130	97	23	10
941	This next test is really more about me.	1.3308	0.05167	130	95	27	8
942	It's definitely a less invasive option.	1.3308	0.05051	130	94	29	7
943	This is really the best way to get rid of hiccups!	1.3308	0.05393	130	97	23	10
944	It's like X-rays. Just don't move.	1.3308	0.04809	130	92	33	5
945	It's a simple outpatient procedure.	1.3308	0.04554	130	90	37	3
946	As with all surgical procedures, there are some associated risk factors.	1.3308	0.05281	130	96	25	9
947	How about now? Are the palpitations better or worse?	1.3308	0.05051	130	94	29	7
948	Traditional surgery doesn’t seem so bad now, does it?	1.3307	0.05368	127	94	24	9
949	Try not to gain any weight this year. Next year could be dangerous	1.3307	0.04750	127	89	34	4
950	So I hear you'd like to donate your body to science.	1.3306	0.05213	124	90	27	7
951	That was from the double blind portion of the trial.	1.3306	0.05213	124	90	27	7
952	I’m generally more accurate when I do vasectomies.	1.3306	0.05458	124	92	23	9
953	If you can stand there for twelve throws, you don't need any kind of tranquilizer.	1.3306	0.04894	121	85	32	4
954	Don’t worry, it’s covered by your insurance.	1.3305	0.05903	118	90	17	11
955	That was a good warmup. Now I'm ready for your surgery.	1.3305	0.05523	118	87	23	8
956	If I miss you’ll be a TikTok sensation.	1.3305	0.06025	118	91	15	12
957	As you can see, my success rate is impeccable.	1.3305	0.05523	118	87	23	8
958	And here’s the zero deductible option…	1.3304	0.05757	115	86	20	9
959	Physician, magician, potato, potahto... do you want the assistant gig or not?	1.3304	0.05439	112	81	25	6
960	And to think I started at the carnival with just an apple.	1.3303	0.05383	109	78	26	5
961	I'm aiming to get clear margins, but you can never be certain.	1.3303	0.05057	109	76	30	3
962	It’s this or radiation. Your call.	1.3299	0.05623	97	69	24	4
963	Okay! Now let’s try a few with you in there.	1.3298	0.06307	94	70	17	7
964	This phase of the operation isn't technically necessary but it helps us unwind. Plus, you'll be out like a light.	1.3293	0.04746	164	122	30	12
965	Clean margins are my specialty.	1.3289	0.04989	149	111	27	11
966	It’s a hit or miss procedure.	1.3286	0.05311	140	106	22	12
967	It’s perfectly safe — just don’t turn your head or cough.	1.3286	0.04909	140	102	30	8
968	This time we need to go in.	1.3285	0.04981	137	100	29	8
969	We intend to surgically remove that negative energy that surrounds you.	1.3285	0.05394	137	104	21	12
970	Don’t worry Steve, this is why we practice.	1.3285	0.05192	137	102	25	10
971	Try not to move outside the silouette.	1.3284	0.05165	134	99	26	9
972	Why don't you step up here and we'll collect a stool sample.	1.3284	0.05378	134	101	22	11
973	Now let’s check your prostate.	1.3282	0.05247	131	97	25	9
974	As you can see, there’s not a lot of risk involved.	1.3280	0.04789	125	88	33	4
975	As you can see, I´m yet to miss.	1.3280	0.05301	125	92	25	8
976	And our parents said I’d never cut it as a surgeon.	1.3280	0.04922	125	89	31	5
977	Don’t move or this will cost you and arm and a leg.	1.3280	0.05421	125	93	23	9
978	See, you don't need surgery.	1.3280	0.04922	125	89	31	5
979	Would YOU like a blindfold too?	1.3279	0.05390	122	90	24	8
980	It is important you stand very still.	1.3279	0.04861	122	86	32	4
981	Our Group Practice best serves those able to stay within the lines.	1.3279	0.05390	122	90	24	8
982	Incessant hiccups? Step right up.	1.3279	0.05132	122	88	28	6
983	Any questions?	1.3279	0.04861	122	86	32	4
984	We have found that stand up surgery works well as long you don’t flinch.	1.3279	0.05132	122	88	28	6
985	The problem is you lack a magnetic personality.	1.3279	0.04861	122	86	32	4
986	As you can see, I have skills.	1.3277	0.05483	119	88	23	8
987	One more for the road?	1.3276	0.05162	116	83	28	5
988	You’re my first vasectomy.	1.3276	0.05445	116	85	24	7
989	I need to know you trust me.	1.3276	0.05714	116	87	20	9
990	Is there a reason it's been so long since your last visit?	1.3276	0.05970	116	89	16	11
991	'awww c'mon..there's only one left! now get back in there!'	1.3276	0.05445	116	85	24	7
992	Show me where it hurts.	1.3274	0.05250	113	81	27	5
993	It's our least invasive option.	1.3274	0.05250	113	81	27	5
994	Based on my experience, I'd say that your odds are twelve to one.	1.3273	0.05184	110	78	28	4
995	It can be a hit or miss proposition.	1.3273	0.05792	110	82	20	8
996	Of course, you'll be lying down for the actual procedure.	1.3273	0.05496	110	80	24	6
997	Well, that concludes your preauthorization process.	1.3273	0.05792	110	82	20	8
998	You know, I wasn't always a doctor.	1.3273	0.05496	110	80	24	6
999	Let's do a stress test.	1.3271	0.05599	107	78	23	6
1000	Hospitals are low on staff lately, so we've adapted our surgery options.	1.3267	0.05648	101	73	23	5
1001	I took a stab at your diagnosis and found you suffer from anxiety.	1.3265	0.04745	147	107	32	8
1002	You know what they say...it's called 'practicing medicine' for a reason.	1.3265	0.06115	98	73	18	7
1003	Yes, it does look impressive, but full disclosure, I was trying to remove a gallbladder.	1.3265	0.05213	147	112	22	13
1004	Stop me when it hurts.	1.3265	0.05184	98	68	28	2
1005	It’s ok, I won’t wear the blindfold for the operation.	1.3259	0.05133	135	100	26	9
1006	Your insurance covers one more knife throw.	1.3259	0.05239	135	101	24	10
1007	Everyone has two jobs these days.	1.3256	0.05181	129	95	26	8
1008	'Let's make your vasectomy more exciting!'	1.3256	0.05297	129	96	24	9
1009	It may seem unusual, but it's part of the mental health screening now required by your HMO.	1.3252	0.05353	123	91	24	8
1010	The new “cutting edge” technique I was telling you about	1.3252	0.05227	123	90	26	7
1011	Let's try the last knife now, just for the hell of it.	1.3252	0.05097	123	89	28	6
1012	Yes, we sterilize the knives between patients.	1.3252	0.05227	123	90	26	7
1013	The trick is to first throw the knives, then draw the outline.	1.3252	0.05227	123	90	26	7
1014	Fear is the new keto.	1.3252	0.05596	123	93	20	10
1015	It’s important to find a doctor you can trust.	1.3250	0.04903	120	85	31	4
1016	Well, yes. I suppose there is always a first time.	1.3250	0.05444	120	89	23	8
1017	As with any procedure, there's an element of risk.	1.3250	0.05044	120	86	29	5
1018	It’s a quick, convenient treatment for relieving constipation.	1.3250	0.05571	120	90	21	9
1019	As you can see, I am good with a knife.	1.3250	0.05444	120	89	23	8
1020	The procedure is completely safe.	1.3250	0.05181	120	87	27	6
1021	This is how I warmed up to get ready to operate on you !	1.3250	0.05314	120	88	25	7
1022	If you'd prefer, my colleague Dr Romanoff just down the hall does Russian Roulette.	1.3250	0.05314	120	88	25	7
1023	This is the best your healthcare plan offers.	1.3250	0.04903	120	85	31	4
1024	This next test is almost 100% accurate.	1.3248	0.05406	117	86	24	7
1025	This last one may hurt a little bit.	1.3248	0.05540	117	87	22	8
1026	So now we know your problem isn't in your aura. Please resume the position: I'm going to check your chakras.	1.3248	0.05540	117	87	22	8
1027	Let me outline the basics of your upcoming surgery.	1.3246	0.05212	114	82	27	5
1028	Yes, its a risky procedure, but if it works, the possibilities for dinner time conversations are endless.	1.3246	0.05777	114	86	19	9
1029	... And if I miss, BOTH your surgeries are on us.	1.3246	0.05910	114	87	17	10
1030	We’ll, at least it’s not colonoscopy.	1.3246	0.05359	114	83	25	6
1031	Your insurance has outlined a plan for you.	1.3246	0.05641	114	85	21	8
1032	Interns.	1.3246	0.05359	114	83	25	6
1033	I like to practice here before we go into the surgical suite.	1.3243	0.04984	111	78	30	3
1034	My methods are generally hit or miss.	1.3241	0.04979	145	108	27	10
1035	Sure it’s a bit unconventional, but we found that this is 500% more effective than a regular stress test.	1.3241	0.04882	145	107	29	9
1036	And they said dermatology was no fun	1.3241	0.05234	108	77	27	4
1037	Inconclusive. We need to run this test again.	1.3241	0.05555	108	79	23	6
1038	Thank you for entering our double blind clinical trial	1.3241	0.05708	108	80	21	7
1039	I'm even better on the inside.	1.3239	0.05246	142	108	22	12
1040	I am much better with my contacts in.	1.3239	0.04746	142	103	32	7
1041	Any questions before we begin?	1.3239	0.04952	142	105	28	9
1042	My mother always told me to have a backup career.”	1.3238	0.05327	105	75	26	4
1043	So, where did you feel the sharp pain?	1.3237	0.05025	139	103	27	9
1044	If you don't move, it won't hurt...	1.3233	0.04719	133	95	33	5
1045	Say hello to my misses.	1.3233	0.05179	133	99	25	9
1046	I went to med school on an axe-throwing scholarship.	1.3231	0.05591	130	100	18	12
1047	No problem Lot's of my patients have had some initial difficult providing a urine sample	1.3231	0.05262	130	97	24	9
1048	And now let's do a little test of your anal sphincter.	1.3229	0.05829	96	70	21	5
1049	Only one place for me to throw this last knife."	1.3228	0.04985	127	92	29	6
1050	It’s precision before the incision.	1.3228	0.05230	127	94	25	8
1051	Your heart rate was higher than usual but the blood test came back negative.	1.3226	0.05438	124	93	22	9
1052	How's your insurance?	1.3226	0.06334	93	70	16	7
1053	If I miss you, we operate; if I don't, we operate. Deal?	1.3226	0.06334	93	70	16	7
1054	It may not be the best way to test your reflexes, but your insurance covers it.	1.3226	0.05674	124	95	18	11
1055	Your weight loss may have added years to your life	1.3226	0.04797	124	88	32	4
1056	Or, you could finally agree to undergo the colonoscopy I’ve been recommending all these years!	1.3223	0.05532	121	91	21	9
1057	You get where this is going, right?	1.3223	0.05277	121	89	25	7
1058	Are you superstitious?	1.3220	0.05367	118	87	24	7
1059	One to go.	1.3220	0.05090	118	85	28	5
1060	If we don’t cure it at least we scare the crap out if it…	1.3220	0.05630	118	89	20	9
1061	They say I’m the best. Do you have an apple on you?	1.3220	0.05500	118	88	22	8
1062	It tests your fear response and my degree of intoxication.	1.3220	0.05500	118	88	22	8
1063	Your initial stress test was inconclusive.	1.3217	0.05599	115	86	21	8
1064	This time with your legs and arms spread, Mr. Vitruvius.	1.3217	0.05461	115	85	23	7
1065	Do you prefer anesthesia or a blindfold?	1.3217	0.05024	115	82	29	4
1066	So…that’ll be $10,000	1.3217	0.05461	115	85	23	7
1067	If there isn't some risk involved, it isn't a real treatment	1.3217	0.05461	115	85	23	7
1068	Have you been circumcised?	1.3217	0.05119	143	108	24	11
1069	No need to worry, I took the Hippocratic Oath.	1.3214	0.05107	112	80	28	4
1070	Under the knife is an old idea.	1.3214	0.05413	112	82	24	6
1071	Of course, you can't see my misses.	1.3214	0.05842	112	85	18	9
1072	All we have left to do is measure the in-seam.	1.3211	0.05812	109	82	19	8
1073	We don't use the term "Bullseye."	1.3211	0.05956	109	83	17	9
1074	This really helps me relax before surgery.	1.3209	0.04808	134	97	31	6
1075	No worries, as you can see I’m 100% successful with outlines of patients drawn on plywood. A real person should be no different.	1.3209	0.05254	134	101	23	10
1076	Is this covered by insurance?	1.3208	0.05286	106	76	26	4
1077	We've been throwing everything we have at it, but we still don't know what your problem is.	1.3208	0.05453	106	77	24	5
1078	Don't worry, you shouldn't feel a thing.	1.3208	0.05773	106	79	20	7
1079	Being a surgeon and my true passion pretty much go hand in hand.	1.3206	0.04998	131	96	28	7
1080	Have you heard of targeted medicine?	1.3204	0.05556	103	75	23	5
1081	If you fall within the parameters of normal, you don't need to worry.	1.3204	0.05888	103	77	19	7
1082	No. This test is not covered by insurance.	1.3204	0.05382	103	74	25	4
1083	Relax. I'm good with a knife.	1.3204	0.05556	103	75	23	5
1084	Next to magic, hiccup mitigation is my specialty.	1.3203	0.05312	128	96	23	9
1085	You see? No need to worry!	1.3203	0.05195	128	95	25	8
1086	I have a 97% success rate	1.3203	0.05312	128	96	23	9
1087	It was actually an honorary doctorate degree from Coney Island.	1.3203	0.05312	128	96	23	9
1088	How familiar are you with ‘survivorship bias’?	1.3203	0.05312	128	96	23	9
1089	This is the only procedure your insurance will cover, but I’ve been practicing!	1.3200	0.05029	125	91	28	6
1090	Of course, all you're seeing here are my misses.	1.3200	0.05156	125	92	26	7
1091	Your insurance classifies this as a carve-out	1.3200	0.06010	100	75	18	7
1092	It's cutting edge.	1.3200	0.05664	100	73	22	5
1093	This is a pre-op requirement by my malpractice insurance	1.3200	0.04899	125	90	30	5
1094	It's our last resort treatment for constipation.	1.3200	0.05664	100	73	22	5
1095	Well it's cheaper than an MRI	1.3197	0.05492	122	92	21	9
1096	We find the phrase 'to go under the knife' to be a little outdated.	1.3197	0.05368	122	91	23	8
1097	No, not FDA approved yet, but preliminary studies indicate it's a highly effective weight loss motivator	1.3196	0.05778	97	71	21	5
1098	It’s a kind of hit or miss therapy.	1.3193	0.05460	119	89	22	8
1099	No, I can’t give you the names of my other patients ..	1.3191	0.04964	141	105	27	9
1100	Ready for your vasectomy?	1.3190	0.05281	116	85	25	6
1101	I also do circumcisions.	1.3190	0.05137	116	84	27	5
1102	My treatment is guaranteed to improve your posture.	1.3188	0.05037	138	103	26	9
1103	'C'mon . . . double or nothin' . . ."	1.3186	0.05518	113	84	22	7
1104	"Would you mind giving me one more shot at the appendix?"	1.3186	0.05518	113	84	22	7
1105	With or without the gown. Your choice.	1.3186	0.05932	113	87	16	10
1106	We take both health and life insurance.	1.3186	0.05373	113	83	24	6
1107	I just need to check your reflexes.	1.3185	0.04541	135	96	35	4
1108	You always told mom you wanted to be in the circus.	1.3185	0.04893	135	99	29	7
1109	This is the imaging your insurance covers.	1.3182	0.05620	110	82	21	7
1110	I specialize in non-invasive surgery.	1.3182	0.05766	110	83	19	8
1111	Now, can I get you to sign the informed consent?	1.3182	0.05314	110	80	25	5
1112	It was medicine or knife-throwing. Then I thought, why not both?	1.3182	0.05469	110	81	23	6
1113	Dont worry Mr Smith, I have one more idea to get rid of those hiccups.	1.3182	0.06185	110	86	13	11
1114	You see, this is a perfectly safe procedure.	1.3182	0.05469	110	81	23	6
1115	It’s minimally invasive.	1.3182	0.04848	132	96	30	6
1116	It's a simple non-invasive test for IBS.	1.3182	0.05620	110	82	21	7
1117	It’s easier if you face the board.	1.3182	0.04727	132	95	32	5
1118	Who referred you to my practice?	1.3182	0.05469	110	81	23	6
1119	Don't worry. You'll be anesthetized	1.3178	0.05501	129	99	19	11
1120	The procedure is based on some cutting edge research.	1.3178	0.05276	129	97	23	9
1121	One more attempt?	1.3178	0.04920	129	94	29	6
1122	As you can see, my specialty is in non-invasive surgery.	1.3178	0.05245	107	77	26	4
1123	Side effects can include death.	1.3175	0.05243	126	94	24	8
1124	You'll be my first attempt at a "between-the-legs" throw.	1.3173	0.05997	104	79	17	8
1125	This is our least invasive and cheapest surgery.	1.3173	0.05511	104	76	23	5
1126	It’s a new take on the stress test. Like a treadmill could ever tell us anything?	1.3171	0.04941	123	89	29	5
1127	Now that I'm warmed up, let's do the prostatectomy.	1.3171	0.05454	123	93	21	9
1128	I think we’re ready to take that appendix out now.	1.3171	0.05204	123	91	25	7
1129	Diagnosing is all about throwing things at the wall and seeing what sticks.	1.3168	0.05437	101	73	24	4
1130	This procedure will cost you an arm and a leg.	1.3168	0.05790	101	75	20	6
1131	My wife says I have issues with personal boundaries.	1.3168	0.05617	101	74	22	5
1132	Unfortunately, the surgery was unsuccessful	1.3168	0.05959	101	76	18	7
1133	By the time therapy is complete that blocked urinary tract should be functioning just fine!	1.3167	0.05421	120	90	22	8
1134	So you're here for your thirteenth opinion?	1.3167	0.04877	120	86	30	4
1135	This hobby and a simple hiccup is what eventually got me interested in surgery.	1.3162	0.04953	117	84	29	4
1136	100% success rate	1.3162	0.05100	117	85	27	5
1137	You have one knife left. Care to gamble?	1.3162	0.05081	136	102	25	9
1138	Nurse Bobbitt will see you now for your prostate exam.	1.3162	0.04973	136	101	27	8
1139	I attended the PT Barnum School of Medicine.	1.3162	0.04973	136	101	27	8
1140	This is the part of your exam where we test your anxiety level.	1.3162	0.05081	136	102	25	9
1141	you see,you've got nothing to worry about	1.3162	0.04862	136	100	29	7
1142	Would you like a local anesthetic?	1.3158	0.05886	114	88	16	10
1143	First we'll do my eye test.	1.3158	0.05033	114	82	28	4
1144	There are some minor risks with this procedure.	1.3158	0.05847	95	70	20	5
1145	The chances for success are slim, but let’s take a stab at it.	1.3158	0.05160	133	100	24	9
1146	And I don’t even need malpractice insurance to do this	1.3158	0.05160	133	100	24	9
1147	Well, Richard, it’s time for your vasectomy.	1.3158	0.04817	133	97	30	6
1148	Patients actually prefer the more invasive procedure	1.3154	0.05126	130	97	25	8
1149	pull up your drape and standup against the wall---I only have one throw left and I feel very lucky this morning!	1.3154	0.05126	130	97	25	8
1150	Good news,Mr. Katz. Your stress test results appear normal.	1.3153	0.05862	111	85	17	9
1151	You might feel a slight pinch.	1.3153	0.05116	111	80	27	4
1152	Your insurance might not cover this.	1.3153	0.05721	111	84	19	8
1153	We’ll do a trial of targeted therapy	1.3153	0.05576	111	83	21	7
1154	I told you losing some weight would benefit you.	1.3153	0.05427	111	82	23	6
1155	Granted, it’s not the traditional way of removing a mole.	1.3150	0.04835	127	92	30	5
1156	Before this method, vasectomies were just too routine for me.	1.3148	0.05368	108	79	24	5
1157	Your plan probably covers this.	1.3148	0.05204	108	78	26	4
1158	See, you can trust me.	1.3148	0.05035	108	77	28	3
1159	Stop complaining, Mom told us both to go to medical school.	1.3148	0.05681	108	81	20	7
1160	I always hone my skills before vasectomies	1.3148	0.05368	108	79	24	5
1161	Now, I am also doing appendicitis.	1.3146	0.06510	89	68	14	7
1162	It's just a little hobby to calm myself before surgeries.	1.3146	0.06105	89	66	18	5
1163	Not bad for a proctologist.	1.3145	0.05168	124	92	25	7
1164	It’s what we call a can’t miss procedure.	1.3145	0.05039	124	91	27	6
1165	I must confess, in my line of work we’re actually supposed to hit the body with it.	1.3145	0.04908	124	90	29	5
1166	And now you can breathe out.	1.3145	0.04908	124	90	29	5
1167	Yes, this is a teaching hospital. The freshman knife throwing class was in here last.	1.3143	0.04764	140	103	30	7
1168	Anywhere against the board's OK.	1.3143	0.05276	140	108	20	12
1169	And believe it or not,this treatment is covered by most HMOs !	1.3139	0.04605	137	99	33	5
1170	There is still a spot between your legs!	1.3137	0.06382	102	80	12	10
1171	So far I'm batting 100 per cent.	1.3137	0.05020	102	72	28	2
1172	Surgery can be hit or miss.	1.3137	0.05393	102	74	24	4
1173	Great, I think I'm warmed up now.	1.3136	0.05205	118	87	25	6
1174	Sir, this is cutting-edge technology…	1.3134	0.05016	134	100	26	8
1175	Yes, your aura-ectomy went very well.	1.3134	0.05016	134	100	26	8
1176	It works best when you assume the worst.	1.3131	0.05304	99	71	25	3
1177	It's not an exact science.	1.3130	0.05435	115	86	22	7
1178	Most effective treatment we have for constipation .	1.3130	0.05709	115	88	18	9
1179	The least invasive procedure doesn’t appear to be working.	1.3130	0.05293	115	85	24	6
1180	Trust me, I always miss.	1.3130	0.04857	131	96	29	6
1181	The ones that land inside the outline don't leave marks.	1.3130	0.05428	131	101	19	11
1182	and then the flamethrower cauterizes the wound.	1.3129	0.05090	147	113	22	12
1183	Would you like a blindfold?	1.3125	0.05533	112	84	21	7
1184	Don't worry, we're more accurate when the patient is three dimensional.	1.3125	0.05602	96	70	22	4
1185	Time for the stress test. Our treadmill is on the fritz.	1.3125	0.05795	96	71	20	5
1186	As you see, my bypass rates are very good.	1.3125	0.05234	112	82	25	5
1187	I'm afraid that you haven't gotten the point.	1.3125	0.05602	96	70	22	4
1188	We'll adjust your meds based oh how you handle stress. It only takes a minute	1.3125	0.05533	112	84	21	7
1189	Now do you trust that I’m good with a scalpel?	1.3125	0.04929	128	94	28	6
1190	You're my first vasectomy as a circus performer.	1.3120	0.05133	125	93	25	7
1191	I'd like to redo the procedure to make sure we didn't miss anything.	1.3120	0.04875	125	91	29	5
1192	It's important that you trust your surgeon.	1.3120	0.05005	125	92	27	6
1193	Just a little warm-up exercise before performing your open heart surgery...	1.3120	0.05005	125	92	27	6
1194	As your twin brother are you sure you trust me on this	1.3120	0.04740	125	90	31	4
1195	You did well on the startle test.	1.3119	0.04824	109	77	30	2
1196	No, this procedure is not covered by medicare.	1.3119	0.05326	109	80	24	5
1197	They don't call me Steady Freddy for nothing.	1.3119	0.05483	109	81	22	6
1198	To improve their confidence before surgery, I like to show my patients my skills with a knife. Go stand there.	1.3118	0.05508	93	67	23	3
1199	I put all my patients under the knife.	1.3115	0.05216	122	91	24	7
1200	So ask yourself... are ya feeling lucky!	1.3115	0.05470	122	93	20	9
1201	Your insurance doesn’t cover the wheel.	1.3115	0.05344	122	92	22	8
1202	Laxatives are for cowards.	1.3115	0.05085	122	90	26	6
1203	my patients stay really motivated to lose weight, Mr. Jones	1.3115	0.05470	122	93	20	9
1204	You do realize that this surgery carries some risks	1.3115	0.05085	122	90	26	6
1205	'You can see I use cutting-edge technology."	1.3115	0.05344	122	92	22	8
1206	If you weren’t my twin brother, I’d suspect something fishy here.	1.3115	0.05216	122	91	24	7
1207	You don't have anything to worry about. I'm even better with a scalpel.	1.3113	0.05080	106	76	27	3
1208	# Pay your bill.	1.3113	0.05586	106	79	21	6
1209	I’ll also prescribe you some painkillers to treat any stabbing pain you might suffer.	1.3113	0.05423	106	78	23	5
1210	They'll have to give me my license back when they see this one.	1.3111	0.06047	90	67	18	5
1211	Now put an apple on your head, and we're good to go.	1.3111	0.06250	90	68	16	6
1212	Why don’t you let me take a stab at it?	1.3109	0.05167	119	88	25	6
1213	It’s why they call it the practice of surgery.	1.3107	0.05694	103	77	20	6
1214	So, I’ve narrowed the problem to somewhere within this area.	1.3107	0.05858	103	78	18	7
1215	I still don't have a diagnosis, but let me take one more stab at it.	1.3107	0.05349	103	75	24	4
1216	I'd say your odds are about even.	1.3106	0.04451	132	94	35	3
1217	Unfortunately, your insurance doesn’t cover the blindfold	1.3106	0.04825	132	97	29	6
1218	Trust the process.	1.3103	0.05110	116	85	26	5
1219	I’ll be in and out in no time.	1.3103	0.04961	116	84	28	4
1220	This is not what I meant when I agreed to go under the knife.	1.3103	0.05532	116	88	20	8
1221	Trust me, this works much better than acupuncture.	1.3103	0.06185	87	65	17	5
1222	Once you sign the Consent Form and the Financial Agreement, you can approach the procedure with complete confidence that you will probably survive with only minor side effects that may include pain, infection, nausea, heart attack, or even death.	1.3103	0.05666	116	89	18	9
1223	Your HMO won't cover stents, but stunts are on the house	1.3103	0.05797	116	90	16	10
1224	Those are your options for full insurance coverage.	1.3101	0.05369	129	99	20	10
1225	I like to add a little showmanship to an otherwise tedious circumcision procedure.	1.3100	0.06146	100	77	15	8
1226	They said, With an arm like that you could be throwing strikes for the Yankees. I chose thoracic surgery instead.	1.3097	0.05195	113	83	25	5
1227	Let's see a virtual doctor do that.	1.3097	0.05491	113	85	21	7
1228	Any questions about the procedure?	1.3097	0.05345	113	84	23	6
1229	Around the fifth knife, you should not be constipated anymore.	1.3097	0.05907	113	88	15	10
1230	It's a routine procedure.	1.3097	0.04537	155	115	32	8
1231	I would've sworn he was right there.	1.3093	0.05152	97	69	26	2
1232	The new stress test designed by the same guy who did our patient portal.	1.3091	0.05592	110	83	20	7
1233	Try to think of something else…	1.3091	0.05125	110	80	26	4
1234	I studied acupuncture at Le Cordon Bleu.	1.3091	0.05441	110	82	22	6
1235	We don’t bill for the misses; otherwise we would be audited for unnecessary surgery.	1.3089	0.04637	123	88	32	3
1236	I learned this technique while working at Coney Island Hospital.	1.3089	0.05180	123	92	24	7
1237	The first cut is the deepest.	1.3089	0.05049	123	91	26	6
1238	Your new medical plan does not cover invasive procedures.	1.3089	0.05307	123	93	22	8
1239	Great incentive to lose the weight	1.3089	0.05671	123	96	16	11
1240	This is how I warm up prior to your actual surgery.	1.3085	0.05863	94	70	19	5
1241	Don't worry ... it helps me relax before surgery.	1.3085	0.05665	94	69	21	4
1242	Ok you will need to take off the robe for the last one and turn your head and cough	1.3085	0.06422	94	73	13	8
1243	... but it's on the operating table that the magic truly happens.	1.3085	0.05459	94	68	23	3
1244	There is just one more we have to place	1.3084	0.05213	107	78	25	4
1245	It's a non-invasive procedure called acu-non-puncture... usually anyway.	1.3084	0.05213	107	78	25	4
1246	This is a stress test combined with an occasional blood draw.	1.3084	0.05698	107	81	19	7
1247	I can do this with my eyes closed.	1.3084	0.05041	107	77	27	3
1248	Time to test your reflexes.	1.3084	0.05379	107	79	23	5
1249	You should not worry about the co-pay	1.3083	0.05265	120	90	23	7
1250	You may feel a sudden sharp pain but that is rare	1.3083	0.05131	120	89	25	6
1251	You see? Nothing to worry about.	1.3083	0.04992	120	88	27	5
1252	See? Nothing to be afraid of... Now go and stand there while I throw this last one.	1.3083	0.05397	120	91	21	8
1253	You'll need a podiatrist for the feet.	1.3083	0.04674	133	97	31	5
1254	Would a demonstration of my skills help you decide?	1.3077	0.05073	117	86	26	5
1255	It's the vasectomies that get tricky	1.3077	0.04925	117	85	28	4
1256	This procedure should jolt your sluggish adrenal system.	1.3077	0.05491	117	89	20	8
1257	We’ve never lost an outline.	1.3077	0.05479	104	77	22	5
1258	It really is minimally invasive.	1.3077	0.05567	91	66	22	3
1259	I’ve got one more. Assume the position.	1.3077	0.05104	130	98	24	8
1260	Don't worry, your HMO's got you covered.	1.3077	0.05306	104	76	24	4
1261	I find vasectomies more interesting this way.	1.3077	0.05104	130	98	24	8
1262	As you see, the last patient kept calm	1.3077	0.05647	104	78	20	6
1263	My last patient managed to get only side effects.	1.3077	0.05073	117	86	26	5
1264	Malpractice makes malperfect.	1.3077	0.05073	117	86	26	5
1265	Don’t worry, I am much better in surgery.	1.3077	0.04783	143	107	28	8
1266	You realize, this is only a rough outline.	1.3077	0.05355	117	88	22	7
1267	Don't worry. I have plenty of practice.	1.3077	0.04749	104	73	30	1
1268	The latest in cutting edge surgical technique!	1.3077	0.05647	104	78	20	6
1269	I haven't needed to order any blood transfusions yet.	1.3077	0.04454	117	82	34	1
1270	Stabbing pains can be a cau…er, symptom.	1.3077	0.05990	91	68	18	5
1271	0 for 12.	1.3077	0.05491	117	89	20	8
1272	As you can see, it’s totally safe and really helps us measure your stress tolerance.	1.3071	0.05063	127	95	25	7
1273	Be happy I 'm not the resident.	1.3071	0.05063	127	95	25	7
1274	I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to remain still during this procedure.	1.3070	0.05590	114	87	19	8
1275	As you can see, 'minimally invasive' is a bit of an understatement.	1.3070	0.04846	114	82	29	3
1276	I did my residency at a carnival midway.	1.3070	0.05449	114	86	21	7
1277	As you can see, I'm pretty good at this.	1.3069	0.05583	101	75	21	5
1278	Of course there are no marks from when you hit the guy	1.3069	0.06092	101	78	15	8
1279	They say accuracy with a throwing knife won't translate to delicate surgery, but let's get in there and prove them all wrong!	1.3069	0.05758	101	76	19	6
1280	It looks like we got clean margins.	1.3069	0.05927	101	77	17	7
1281	A second opinion will only get you flaming chainsaws.	1.3069	0.05583	101	75	21	5
1282	Correct. There's no mark on the wall when that happens.	1.3068	0.05907	88	65	19	4
1283	'This is not what I had in mind when I said take a stab at the diagnosis.'	1.3065	0.04746	124	90	30	4
1284	You passed the reflex test. Now let's see how well you stand still.	1.3063	0.05086	111	81	26	4
1285	We’re out of apples.	1.3063	0.05694	111	85	18	8
1286	What part of my recommendation that you go under the knife did you not understand.	1.3063	0.05548	111	84	20	7
1287	I worked my way through med school as a knife thrower.	1.3063	0.05086	111	81	26	4
1288	Surgery is always a bit hit or miss.	1.3063	0.05086	111	81	26	4
1289	The advance directive is solely a precaution…	1.3063	0.05399	111	83	22	6
1290	Scary? Ha, you should see the game the proctologists play.	1.3061	0.05876	98	74	18	6
1291	All 13 knives for one low price. Plus, if you order today, we'll include a lifetime supply of Bandaids.	1.3061	0.05876	98	74	18	6
1292	Last one between the legs?	1.3061	0.05694	98	73	20	5
1293	I have good news and bad news	1.3061	0.05506	98	72	22	4
1294	Exploratory surgery is rather hit-or-miss.	1.3060	0.04881	134	100	27	7
1295	This last knife will go where I will be operating on you.	1.3058	0.04958	121	89	27	5
1296	Well yes, medically-speaking, the mole is still on your body.	1.3058	0.04817	121	88	29	4
1297	Last but not least-- circumcision.	1.3058	0.05358	121	92	21	8
1298	This may not hurt at all.	1.3058	0.04671	121	87	31	3
1299	This will help you lose weight.	1.3056	0.05172	108	79	25	4
1300	The health insurance company denied coverage for a cardiac stress test. They suggest this lower cost alternative instead…	1.3053	0.05071	131	99	24	8
1301	This is the only test for the nervous system covered by your insurance	1.3053	0.04953	131	98	26	7
1302	Past performance is no guaranty of future results.	1.3053	0.04980	95	67	27	1
1303	I call it my 'do you trust your doctor'? game. Cool, huh?	1.3051	0.04890	118	86	28	4
1304	Now, you trust me to do the operation?	1.3051	0.04890	118	86	28	4
1305	Clearly the work of an amateur	1.3048	0.05263	105	77	24	4
1306	And you don't have to worry about any more children.	1.3048	0.05086	105	76	26	3
1307	Never lost a patient yet.	1.3048	0.05434	105	78	22	5
1308	What can I say? Med school was a real circus.	1.3048	0.05918	105	81	16	8
1309	Most are cured with only a single session	1.3048	0.05918	105	81	16	8
1310	I developed my technique under doctors Barnum and Bailey	1.3048	0.05086	105	76	26	3
1311	So why did I need to take off my pants?	1.3048	0.05600	105	79	20	6
1312	Let's see if 13 is indeed an unlucky number.	1.3047	0.05497	128	100	17	11
1313	Okay, let's try one more time.	1.3047	0.04905	128	95	27	6
1314	The results are still inconclusive — let’s keep throwing some things at it.	1.3047	0.05150	128	97	23	8
1315	They saw you in half in the next room.	1.3047	0.04905	128	95	27	6
1316	The surgeon has COVID so he's working remotely.	1.3043	0.05934	92	69	18	5
1317	There, you see? perfectly safe.	1.3043	0.05934	92	69	18	5
1318	No worries..this isn’t brain surgery, more like darts - with consequences	1.3043	0.05265	115	86	23	6
1319	Oh, just ignore that. It's nothing.	1.3043	0.06132	92	70	16	6
1320	Don't worry. This won't be just another hatchet job.	1.3043	0.05729	92	68	20	4
1321	Some prefer laparoscopic or robotic. I’m more of, what you might call, an analog guy.	1.3043	0.05816	115	90	15	10
1322	We’re gonna practice staying still for the MRI machine.	1.3043	0.05729	92	68	20	4
1323	There are no guarantees, but plenty of applause!	1.3041	0.04857	148	113	25	10
1324	Obviously I won't be wearing the blindfolds during your procedure.	1.3040	0.05108	125	94	24	7
1325	Before you stand up there again,let me ask you if you are circumcised?	1.3039	0.05709	102	77	19	6
1326	It’s still an experimental therapy.	1.3039	0.05358	102	75	23	4
1327	Your plan doesn't cover acupuncture. This is approximatepuncture.	1.3036	0.05505	112	85	20	7
1328	Think of it like an open MRI.	1.3036	0.05649	112	86	18	8
1329	Cure you? I'll take a stab at it.	1.3036	0.05357	112	84	22	6
1330	As you can see, I've done no harm.	1.3036	0.05357	112	84	22	6
1331	The hardest part is the anticipation	1.3036	0.05505	112	85	20	7
1332	It’s a cutting edge technique.	1.3036	0.05048	112	82	26	4
1333	Yeah, the gown is just precautionary.	1.3036	0.05048	112	82	26	4
1334	It's a conceptual art piece my twin brother bought for me, entitled 'The Thirteenth Knife.'	1.3036	0.05649	112	86	18	8
1335	I told you I had superb knife skills.	1.3036	0.05048	112	82	26	4
1336	He's in a really good mood today.	1.3034	0.06065	89	67	17	5
1337	It’s a fear-based treatment. We find that it cuts down on return visits by 90%!	1.3033	0.05191	122	92	23	7
1338	You, however, will be under the knife.	1.3030	0.05824	99	75	18	6
1339	I’ve done this, literally, dozens of times.	1.3030	0.04680	132	97	30	5
1340	Truly a cutting-edge procedure	1.3030	0.05644	99	74	20	5
1341	I like to think I'm putting the fun back into surgery.	1.3028	0.05453	109	82	21	6
1342	I like to call it non-invasive surgery.	1.3028	0.05756	109	84	17	8
1343	I have one more option I'd like to try.	1.3028	0.04964	109	79	27	3
1344	Are you ready for your follow up?	1.3028	0.05132	109	80	25	4
1345	That's as close as I can get given your insurance.	1.3025	0.05277	119	90	22	7
1346	Now that I'm warmed up, let's see what's going on with that gallbladder!	1.3025	0.05277	119	90	22	7
1347	We use cutting edge techniques	1.3025	0.04707	119	86	30	3
1348	You'll never guess where this one stuck.	1.3025	0.04707	119	86	30	3
1349	You have nothing to worry about,it'll just be a small incision.	1.3023	0.05980	86	64	18	4
1350	Keeps me in practice.	1.3023	0.06421	86	66	14	6
1351	So far all the tests are negative, but in this case that’s actually a good thing	1.3023	0.05503	86	62	22	2
1352	Don't worry. This is an outpatient procedure.	1.3021	0.05565	96	71	21	4
1353	Don't worry, it's very routine.	1.3021	0.05565	96	71	21	4
1354	It's important to make an outcision before you make an incision.	1.3021	0.05155	96	69	25	2
1355	I worked my way through medical school on the carnival circuit.	1.3019	0.05221	106	78	24	4
1356	If I can’t get a diagnosis after this, I’ll have to refer you to my surgery colleagues.	1.3019	0.05221	106	78	24	4
1357	I took it up during the pandemic.	1.3019	0.05046	106	77	26	3
1358	If you're in the placebo group, you have nothing to worry about.	1.3019	0.05390	106	79	22	5
1359	Now, on to your vasectomy.	1.3019	0.05714	106	81	18	7
1360	I promise I’m more accurate when it’s an actual person.	1.3019	0.05221	106	78	24	4
1361	Testing methods can be hit or miss.	1.3017	0.04931	116	85	27	4
1362	I got my medical degree at Harvard, but specialized in general surgery with the Ringling Brothers.	1.3015	0.05040	136	104	23	9
1363	Now lay down and let me saw you in half.	1.3011	0.06074	93	71	16	6
1364	See? Not a single incision	1.3011	0.05467	93	68	22	3
1365	Reflexes seem fine	1.3011	0.05879	93	70	18	5
1366	See, the challenge here is to positively stay outside the lines.	1.3011	0.05879	93	70	18	5
1367	I'm that rare doctor that IS a magician.	1.3011	0.06264	93	72	14	7
1368	We felt the same way about Covid - hit or miss?	1.3010	0.06145	103	81	13	9
1369	No, there’s no need to make a fist while I draw some blood.	1.3010	0.04943	103	74	27	2
1370	Ready for your circumcision?	1.3010	0.05314	103	76	23	4
1371	I'm not sure I'm really cut out for life outside of the circus.	1.3010	0.05490	103	77	21	5
1372	Just be glad we don’t have to saw you in half.	1.3010	0.05490	103	77	21	5
1373	I’ll be honest, after it’s over, some patients have needed a hand or two.”	1.3010	0.05988	103	80	15	8
1374	It’s how I perfected my surgical skills. So relax	1.3010	0.05490	103	77	21	5
1375	See, this won't hurt at all	1.3010	0.05661	103	78	19	6
1376	Ok,how about you give me one try and then we can do the vasectomy the old-fashioned way	1.3010	0.05490	103	77	21	5
1377	You will want to keep your eyes closed for this test.	1.3010	0.05827	103	79	17	7
1378	Your insurance might not cover this procedure.	1.3010	0.05490	103	77	21	5
1379	Survivor bias tells us that 100% of people survive when the knife misses them.	1.3010	0.05132	103	75	25	3
1380	At your age, are you still sure you want a circumcision?	1.3009	0.05316	113	85	22	6
1381	Next, I’ll have you go to the wall for a series of stress tests.	1.3009	0.05316	113	85	22	6
1382	Before you go under the knife I thought we'd have a little fun	1.3009	0.05010	113	83	26	4
1383	Oh, I see…it’s hilarious when Penn and Tellerdoes this… but Dr. Murray Menkman does it once and it’s “malpractice”	1.3009	0.05606	113	87	18	8
1384	On average, my operations are a success.	1.3009	0.05010	113	83	26	4
1385	Trust me, this is cutting edge medical testing technology.	1.3009	0.05463	113	86	20	7
1386	Consistency is good!	1.3009	0.05606	113	87	18	8
1387	Have you signed the liability waiver?	1.3009	0.05166	113	84	24	5
1388	This is intended to illustrate the importance of remaining perfectly still during the procedure.	1.3008	0.04751	123	90	29	4
1389	So, you're okay now with this operation? See how accurate I am?	1.3008	0.05282	123	94	21	8
1390	These are not the results I was hoping for	1.3008	0.05024	123	92	25	6
1391	We haven't quite pinpointed the problem.	1.3008	0.04889	133	100	26	7
1392	I’m a graduate of the Jackson Pollock School of Orthopedics.	1.3008	0.04771	133	99	28	6
1393	It's a double blind clinical trial. Want to join?	1.3008	0.05227	133	103	20	10
1394	Don’t worry. I could do this blindfolded.	1.3000	0.05412	100	74	22	4
1395	The procedure is minimally invasive, as you can see.	1.3000	0.05093	110	81	25	4
1396	If you make it, you win the complete set!	1.3000	0.05412	100	74	22	4
1397	Don't worry, we let our other surgeon go.	1.3000	0.05254	110	82	23	5
1398	You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do you, punk?	1.3000	0.05411	110	83	21	6
1399	I show this to all my patients who ask if l have good eyesight and a steady hand.	1.3000	0.05411	110	83	21	6
1400	You see I’m board certified.	1.3000	0.06007	90	68	17	5
1401	It is our new and improved stress test.	1.3000	0.04965	120	89	26	5
1402	With those eyebrows and as you already have lost your right arm, you're chances of success are, ooh, 15-20% better, I'd guess"	1.3000	0.05563	110	84	19	7
1403	We found the cause of the stabbing pain.	1.3000	0.05774	100	76	18	6
1404	So you see there's no need to worry, we're well trained here at Barnum & Bailey medical center.	1.3000	0.05596	100	75	20	5
1405	I can perform this procedure blindfolded...	1.3000	0.06007	90	68	17	5
1406	It's not called "throwing" it's surgery.	1.3000	0.05411	110	83	21	6
1407	I see you've had some close calls.	1.3000	0.05254	110	82	23	5
1408	My heart just isn’t in it.	1.3000	0.05774	100	76	18	6
1409	See? You’ll be perfectly fine	1.3000	0.04965	120	89	26	5
1410	We do this on an outpatient basis.	1.2992	0.04516	127	92	32	3
1411	As with any procedure, there’s always a small risk of bleeding afterwards.	1.2991	0.05728	117	92	15	10
1412	You can stand forward or backward.	1.2991	0.05044	117	87	25	5
1413	It's how I test of the strength of your prostate.	1.2991	0.05328	117	89	21	7
1414	Now,imagine what I can do with a scalpel.	1.2991	0.05188	117	88	23	6
1415	So you’re a practicing surgeon?!	1.2991	0.05598	117	91	17	9
1416	Mom didn't want twins.	1.2991	0.05510	107	81	20	6
1417	Now can you trust me with your heart?	1.2991	0.05347	107	80	22	5
1418	It’s a two-fer, checking your reflexes and mine.	1.2991	0.05180	107	79	24	4
1419	You're the perfect "Physician's Assistant!"	1.2991	0.05667	107	82	18	7
1420	Unfortunately this is the only surgical option available without health insurance.	1.2991	0.05667	107	82	18	7
1421	Believe me, acupuncture will do you the world of good	1.2991	0.05347	107	80	22	5
1422	So. You're wondering, Is this lucky thirteen or unlucky? How's your prostate feeling now?	1.2991	0.05510	107	81	20	6
1423	Of course, there's always a first time.	1.2990	0.05892	97	74	17	6
1424	Still, it's better than going under the knife.	1.2990	0.05112	97	70	25	2
1425	This, or the standard vasectomy?	1.2990	0.05516	97	72	21	4
1426	Didn’t you read the terms and conditions when you changed HMO plans?	1.2990	0.05707	97	73	19	5
1427	Your test came back clear	1.2990	0.05317	97	71	23	3
1428	I barely made the cut into medical school	1.2990	0.05516	97	72	21	4
1429	My specialty is non invasive surgery.	1.2989	0.06143	87	66	16	5
1430	Just a little game my former partner and I used to play. You remember my former partner, don’t you	1.2986	0.04935	144	111	23	10
1431	Of course, you will be spinning in the OR.	1.2985	0.04741	134	100	28	6
1432	This procedure has a high rate of success, presuming patient cooperation.	1.2984	0.04989	124	93	25	6
1433	Checking your reflex with that little hammer is so blasé.	1.2982	0.05421	114	87	20	7
1434	Since you are a bit old for a bris, I thought we would do it, the Ed Ames way.	1.2982	0.05127	114	85	24	5
1435	Before I operate you have to prove you trust me.	1.2982	0.05276	114	86	22	6
1436	If I miss, you win a teddy bear.	1.2982	0.05127	114	85	24	5
1437	I’ve been Board certified to perform this cutting edge Surgery.	1.2982	0.05276	114	86	22	6
1438	On your insurance plan, this IS cutting-edge technology	1.2982	0.05276	114	86	22	6
1439	I did pretty well with the last patient.	1.2982	0.04480	114	81	32	1
1440	If this doesn't work, try some prune juice.	1.2981	0.05445	104	78	21	5
1441	Once this is over, you will be looking forward to surgery!	1.2981	0.04904	104	75	27	2
1442	Circumcision du Soleil	1.2981	0.06244	104	83	11	10
1443	I don't expect your shadow to bother you again, Peter.	1.2981	0.06391	104	84	9	11
1444	Well, no. It doesn't cure anything. But it does take your mind off your illness and that is something.	1.2979	0.05625	94	70	20	4
1445	....and your insurance covers this.	1.2979	0.05418	94	69	22	3
1446	Once I start, you'll be amazed how fast you expel that kidney stone!	1.2979	0.05625	94	70	20	4
1447	You may experience some slight discomfort...	1.2979	0.05625	94	70	20	4
1448	Now just relax.	1.2979	0.04694	141	106	28	7
1449	My guidance teacher always said I belonged in the circus.	1.2979	0.05418	94	69	22	3
1450	The tricky part is getting the anesthesia right	1.2976	0.06055	84	63	17	4
1451	I've only missed once, but it was okay since the patient was transitioning anyway.	1.2975	0.05202	121	92	22	7
1452	If you want me to take the blindfold off, that costs extra !	1.2973	0.05519	111	85	19	7
1453	I like to practice before the actual surgery.	1.2973	0.04644	148	112	28	8
1454	You fit the profile for the minimally invasive procedure but there’s always a risk.	1.2973	0.05054	111	82	25	4
1455	Let's decide the location of my first incision.	1.2973	0.05368	111	84	21	6
1456	You need to go under the knife	1.2973	0.05368	111	84	21	6
1457	Well Mr. Smith, we pinned out all the places you don’t have an infection.	1.2973	0.05214	111	83	23	5
1458	My weight loss program is quite simple.	1.2971	0.04869	138	105	25	8
1459	The procedure is not without its risks	1.2970	0.05179	101	74	24	3
1460	It's the latest thing in body sculpting.	1.2970	0.05724	101	77	18	6
1461	I'm just not certain how many more times you can avoid going under the knife.	1.2970	0.05548	101	76	20	5
1462	Knives Out	1.2970	0.05894	101	78	16	7
1463	The operating room’s like that—a little luck, and all’s well.	1.2969	0.05005	128	97	24	7
1464	I was aiming for the prostate.	1.2967	0.06151	91	70	15	6
1465	Notice, we don't ask you to spread your legs	1.2967	0.06151	91	70	15	6
1466	Let me begin by saying that one of us is an evil twin and I do not think it is you.	1.2967	0.06151	91	70	15	6
1467	I call it Near Death therapy " By Tom Sievers	1.2967	0.06151	91	70	15	6
1468	We're zeroing in on where the problem may be.	1.2967	0.05741	91	68	19	4
1469	First, do no harm.” Check!	1.2966	0.05289	118	90	21	7
1470	I specialize in circumcisions.	1.2966	0.05289	118	90	21	7
1471	It's cheaper than acupuncture.	1.2966	0.05424	118	91	19	8
1472	We streamlined our blood and stool sample retrieval process	1.2966	0.05150	118	89	23	6
1473	I call it non-invasive acupuncture."	1.2963	0.05139	108	80	24	4
1474	However, during surgery, I will be cutting inside the lines.	1.2963	0.05921	108	85	14	9
1475	So, you said it's a "stabby" sort of pain? Let's confirm.	1.2963	0.05622	108	83	18	7
1476	No need to worry. I've been practicing for a long time.	1.2963	0.05465	108	82	20	6
1477	Only cutting edge treatment for you.	1.2963	0.05305	108	81	22	5
1478	As you can see, in repeated clinical trials, there is a good success rate for this procedure	1.2963	0.05305	108	81	22	5
1479	I agree. You do seem a bit anxious.	1.2963	0.05399	81	58	22	1
1480	For this stress test most patients wear their masks about four inches higher.	1.2959	0.05840	98	75	17	6
1481	After we finish here we'll need to get your blood pressure before we can proceed.	1.2959	0.06017	98	76	15	7
1482	Of course, it's the scare that cures the hiccups, but the procedure is perfectly safe. As the outline clearly shows, the knives never touch a patient.	1.2959	0.05468	98	73	21	4
1483	I have a different procedure for a shooting pain.	1.2959	0.05840	98	75	17	6
1484	You were sleeping so you didn't get to see, but it was pretty awesome.	1.2957	0.05089	115	86	24	5
1485	You could say I’m not you’re average psychiatrist.	1.2957	0.05089	115	86	24	5
1486	As you can see, this procedure is designed to be 'minimally invasive'.	1.2957	0.05236	115	87	22	6
1487	We are now ready for the live model.	1.2955	0.05399	88	64	22	2
1488	I'd like to run a few more tests	1.2952	0.05228	105	78	23	4
1489	You should see me do a vasectomy.	1.2952	0.05567	105	80	19	6
1490	Care to take a stab at it?	1.2952	0.05050	105	77	25	3
1491	This should scare the crap right out of you.	1.2952	0.05730	105	81	17	7
1492	We need to do more blood work. . .	1.2952	0.05730	105	81	17	7
1493	Just be sure not to cough.	1.2952	0.05400	105	79	21	5
1494	I did my internship at Sinai, and my residency at Barnum & Bailey.	1.2952	0.05400	105	79	21	5
1495	Oh that, is an artwork given to me by a satisfied client.	1.2952	0.05400	105	79	21	5
1496	Why yes— this will be my first vasectomy.	1.2951	0.05165	122	93	22	7
1497	I’m not saying your knife work isn’t impressive, but I’d still like to go with the laser option for my cataracts.	1.2951	0.05165	122	93	22	7
1498	Which organ is giving you issues again?	1.2951	0.04895	122	91	26	5
1499	These are the areas that your HMO have approved.	1.2949	0.06350	78	59	15	4
1500	You definitely need glasses as you didn’t flinch at all.	1.2949	0.06607	78	60	13	5
1501	That takes care of your external exam. Now let's have a look inside.	1.2947	0.05962	95	73	16	6
1502	It’s an option we offer for patients with no insurance.	1.2947	0.05962	95	73	16	6
1503	I promise this is the least invasive constipation remedy.	1.2947	0.05772	95	72	18	5
1504	My mother was incredibly disappointed that I chose medicine over the circus.	1.2947	0.05370	95	70	22	3
1505	So I think you shouldn’t have the surgery.	1.2947	0.05370	95	70	22	3
1506	Bro, it's a novel procedure for curing chronic hiccups, sure, but, so far, it's been 100% successful.	1.2946	0.05621	112	87	17	8
1507	Prostate next--it won't hurt either.	1.2946	0.04853	112	82	27	3
1508	I practice target-specific knife skills before I perform heart surgery.	1.2946	0.04853	112	82	27	3
1509	The last guy did just fine. He has PTSD now, but we got rid of his low blood pressure.	1.2946	0.05174	112	84	23	5
1510	... but this is a risk I am prepared for you to take.	1.2946	0.05174	112	84	23	5
1511	This ensures you won't be wasting our time fidgeting when you go through the MRI.	1.2941	0.04908	136	104	24	8
1512	Are you feeling lucky?	1.2941	0.04944	102	74	26	2
1513	It’s a sideline…	1.2941	0.05322	102	76	22	4
1514	You see? No damage to the wall where people stand!	1.2941	0.05675	102	78	18	6
1515	Can you believe they want to take away my license for this?	1.2941	0.05501	102	77	20	5
1516	This is why we call it the practice of medicine…	1.2941	0.05113	119	90	23	6
1517	This MRI is really throwing me off, but I think I’ll take a stab at it.	1.2941	0.04826	119	88	27	4
1518	I propose we use this non-invasive procedure.	1.2941	0.05250	119	91	21	7
1519	We've perfected our treatment for hiccups.	1.2941	0.04826	119	88	27	4
1520	So, where does it hurt?	1.2941	0.05675	102	78	18	6
1521	You can trust me.	1.2941	0.05501	102	77	20	5
1522	What did you think I meant when I said you’d have to go under the knife?	1.2941	0.05843	102	79	16	7
1523	You have insufficient thigh-gap.	1.2936	0.05422	109	83	20	6
1524	Face the wall, please	1.2936	0.05422	109	83	20	6
1525	It's OK, it's 99% effective.	1.2936	0.05263	109	82	22	5
1526	It’s conclusive, you’re repelling.	1.2936	0.05576	109	84	18	7
1527	Trust me. Non invasive surgery is the way to go.	1.2936	0.05422	109	83	20	6
1528	No need to be nervous—it’s our way of measuring your blood pressure.	1.2936	0.05422	109	83	20	6
1529	‘This is a standard procedure for people with trust issues’	1.2936	0.05422	109	83	20	6
1530	It's a little like acupuncture.	1.2935	0.05687	92	69	19	4
1531	That's where I won't be cutting.	1.2935	0.06093	92	71	15	6
1532	Just one more spot to fill - between your knees	1.2935	0.06093	92	71	15	6
1533	Let’s start with a blood sample.	1.2935	0.05687	92	69	19	4
1534	I don't get certified until I solo.	1.2931	0.05478	116	90	18	8
1535	On the plus side, it's a real crowd-pleaser.	1.2931	0.04745	116	85	28	3
1536	I specialize in outpatient procedures.	1.2931	0.05340	116	89	20	7
1537	This is what we mean when we say it’s up to the board	1.2931	0.05051	116	87	24	5
1538	I've never lost a patient yet.	1.2929	0.04816	99	71	27	1
1539	Here's where we determine if you're a fit for Speaker-of-the-House.	1.2929	0.05420	99	74	21	4
1540	...but the patient did not know there was one more knife...	1.2927	0.05881	82	61	18	3
1541	Soon your troubles will be over.	1.2927	0.06605	82	64	12	6
1542	See that accuracy? So relax,your vasectomy will be a piece of cake.	1.2927	0.05128	123	94	22	7
1543	As you can see, Bob, you lack all internal organs, and thus, makes you eligible to run Twitter.	1.2925	0.05186	106	79	23	4
1544	No Worries. I've done this procedure hundreds of times.	1.2925	0.05356	106	80	21	5
1545	You'll be fine.	1.2925	0.05010	106	78	25	3
1546	It looks like you have peripheral nerve damage	1.2925	0.04827	106	77	27	2
1547	Just beginners luck.	1.2925	0.05186	106	79	23	4
1548	It’s the only way to test your reflexes	1.2925	0.05356	106	80	21	5
1549	As you can see your first twelve test results were quite good.	1.2925	0.04827	106	77	27	2
1550	After med school, I did my residency at Cirque du Soleil.	1.2925	0.05010	106	78	25	3
1551	Do you trust me more now with my circumcision skill?	1.2920	0.05134	113	85	23	5
1552	Now we're going to test your reflexes.	1.2920	0.04817	113	83	27	3
1553	My last diagnosis was right on target.	1.2920	0.04978	113	84	25	4
1554	The next one should be perfect.	1.2920	0.04817	113	83	27	3
1555	We frequented axe throwing bars during residency.	1.2920	0.05433	113	87	19	7
1556	I wouldn’t recommend moving.	1.2920	0.04650	113	82	29	2
1557	Do you remember Ed Ames ?	1.2920	0.04978	113	84	25	4
1558	Congratulations Mr. Tarjay - it seems you passed your stress test.	1.2920	0.04877	137	105	24	8
1559	Once we establish you have P.T.S.D. -- you'll qualify for a Medical Marijuana Liscense.	1.2917	0.05908	96	74	16	6
1560	Oh, I'm more than a mere vascular surgeon...	1.2917	0.04936	120	90	25	5
1561	So… shall we enroll you in the trial?	1.2917	0.05524	96	72	20	4
1562	It's either this or 'turn your head and cough'	1.2917	0.05908	96	74	16	6
1563	Before we start the operation, I'll need to calibrate my tools.	1.2917	0.04936	120	90	25	5
1564	This next test might eliminate a diagnosis of triskaidekaphobia.	1.2917	0.05322	96	71	22	3
1565	This will test your nerves, and mine too.	1.2917	0.05345	120	93	19	8
1566	I feel pretty good about my warmup tosses, now step on up there and let’s see if I can take care of that leaky heart valve…	1.2917	0.05345	120	93	19	8
1567	I took an oath.	1.2917	0.05524	96	72	20	4
1568	I'd like to do some exploratory surgery.	1.2917	0.04792	120	89	27	4
1569	Come to think of it, you are my 13th patient today. Why do you ask?	1.2917	0.05322	96	71	22	3
1570	That’s my last accuracy test. Any more competency questions?	1.2913	0.04904	103	75	26	2
1571	No worries, as you can see, but you can face the other direction if that feels more comfortable.	1.2913	0.05793	103	80	16	7
1572	And after we check your blood pressure.	1.2913	0.05278	103	77	22	4
1573	You're in luck, the operating theater gets a good crowd on Fridays.	1.2913	0.05455	103	78	20	5
1574	So far,the success rate has been high, but I’m obligated to inform you of the risks involved	1.2913	0.05278	103	77	22	4
1575	I'm gonna give one more stab at your diagnosis.	1.2909	0.05532	110	85	18	7
1576	In appreciation of your being an organ donor, you get to choose from a wide variety of fun operating tables.	1.2909	0.05532	110	85	18	7
1577	Where do you want it?	1.2909	0.05222	110	83	22	5
1578	And now we will test your sphincter.	1.2909	0.05222	110	83	22	5
1579	All of our surgeons are rigorously tested.	1.2909	0.04718	110	80	28	2
1580	What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.	1.2909	0.05681	110	86	16	8
1581	You should know that there are side effects	1.2909	0.05222	110	83	22	5
1582	To be fair, these procedures have been more successful since the FDA banned axes.	1.2909	0.05379	110	84	20	6
1583	I think I can squeeze you in.	1.2907	0.05698	86	64	19	3
1584	Same elevated heart rate as a treadmill, but much more fun for me.	1.2907	0.06159	86	66	15	5
1585	We're a little closer than we were the last time you were in. We should be able to hit on something nore definite by your next visit.	1.2907	0.05698	86	64	19	3
1586	Well, we've tried everything else.	1.2906	0.05014	117	88	24	5
1587	Your wife says I’ll either be doing your vasectomy or your son’s bris.	1.2906	0.05300	117	90	20	7
1588	That’s a general outline of the exploratory procedure.	1.2903	0.04828	124	93	26	5
1589	Ringling Brothers Medical School	1.2903	0.05423	93	69	21	3
1590	A robot will be performing the actual surgery.	1.2903	0.05634	93	70	19	4
1591	Just one more to go.....	1.2903	0.05634	93	70	19	4
1592	As I told you, this operation is tricky.	1.2903	0.05203	93	68	23	2
1593	I find it’s therapeutic. Not for the patient, of course.	1.2900	0.05559	100	76	19	5
1594	You should be happy to see that I’m good with a knife	1.2900	0.05374	100	75	21	4
1595	One more try. The appendix is tricky.	1.2900	0.05183	100	74	23	3
1596	I’ll take a stab at general anesthesia next.	1.2900	0.05559	100	76	19	5
1597	So far, I've never lost a patient.	1.2900	0.04777	100	72	27	1
1598	The higher the risk, the more your insurance pays.	1.2897	0.05145	107	80	23	4
1599	Do you always stand with your legs so close together?	1.2897	0.05940	107	85	13	9
1600	My successes are impressive. My mistakes are buried.	1.2897	0.05635	107	83	17	7
1601	I'm successful 12 out of 13 times.	1.2897	0.05477	107	82	19	6
1602	Perhaps you’d like to hear about our innovative surgical techniques that allow for social distancing	1.2897	0.05313	107	81	21	5
1603	It’s just an outline at this point.	1.2897	0.05313	107	81	21	5
1604	We’ve found having knives thrown at patients can help distract from their bill.	1.2897	0.05635	107	83	17	7
1605	The tests confirm it, Mr. Musk. It seems you're utterly repellant.	1.2895	0.05672	114	90	15	9
1606	If you don't trust your surgeon, who can you trust?	1.2895	0.04941	114	85	25	4
1607	You're Bronze Plan, right?	1.2895	0.04941	114	85	25	4
1608	But let's check with the anesthesiologist.	1.2895	0.05246	114	87	21	6
1609	What did you think ‘going under the knife’ meant?	1.2895	0.05096	114	86	23	5
1610	I was aiming for the aura	1.2895	0.05096	114	86	23	5
1611	Now just stand in the middle and we’ll get that open heart surgery started.	1.2895	0.05534	114	89	17	8
1612	Don't worry. There's no copay.	1.2893	0.04901	121	91	25	5
1613	Not bad for a lefty.	1.2893	0.05174	121	93	21	7
1614	So, you need your appendix taken out. Applause will cost extra.	1.2892	0.05821	83	62	18	3
1615	This test will help us rule out survivorship bias...	1.2889	0.04687	135	102	27	6
1616	Sir, your nerves are fine	1.2889	0.05299	90	66	22	2
1617	You should see what the anaesthetist can do.	1.2889	0.05751	90	68	18	4
1618	It's 'cutting edge' technology. Let me try one more time."	1.2889	0.06369	90	71	12	7
1619	As with any innovative surgical technique, there's a certain amount of risk involved.	1.2889	0.06170	90	70	14	6
1620	I can assure you, the technology is cutting-edge.	1.2887	0.05475	97	73	20	4
1621	I know you mentioned you were Board Certified but…	1.2887	0.06211	97	77	12	8
1622	And now I am going to test your scream reflex.	1.2885	0.05744	104	81	16	7
1623	So as I mentioned, the procedure is non-invasive	1.2885	0.05409	104	79	20	5
1624	Let me have a try. Everyone else has bad eyesight.	1.2885	0.05234	104	78	22	4
1625	Now, which organ?	1.2883	0.05181	111	84	22	5
1626	Blame your new insurance plan.	1.2883	0.05181	111	84	22	5
1627	I’m all set for the incision.	1.2881	0.04677	118	87	28	3
1628	As you can see, I'm not a believer in invasive surgery.	1.2880	0.04795	125	94	26	5
1629	6 feet tall. Let’s move on to taking your blood pressure.	1.2880	0.04795	125	94	26	5
1630	Apparently the new vaccine does offer protection.	1.2880	0.05183	125	97	20	8
1631	I told you I swore to do no harm.	1.2880	0.04795	125	94	26	5
1632	I got my degree in Las Vegas.	1.2880	0.04927	125	95	24	6
1633	During the pre-screening your blood pressure got dangerously high.	1.2880	0.04795	125	94	26	5
1634	Don't worry...it's covered by Obamacare.	1.2878	0.04594	139	105	28	6
1635	Next time we'll be requesting anesthesia, now, won't we?	1.2875	0.06702	80	63	11	6
1636	...but there's always a first time.	1.2874	0.05642	87	65	19	3
1637	I just invented this final exam a week ago.	1.2874	0.05400	87	64	21	2
1638	As you can see, I occasionally 'miss my mark,' diagnostically speaking.	1.2874	0.05146	87	63	23	1
1639	Step over to my examination wall and we'll see if we can target your condition.	1.2874	0.05874	87	66	17	4
1640	My early years in the circus came in handy during med school	1.2872	0.05157	94	69	23	2
1641	Now do you trust me with your circumcision?	1.2872	0.05978	94	73	15	6
1642	They dropped me from surgery, so now I took this up.	1.2872	0.05374	94	70	21	3
1643	Of course, no surgery is without its slight risks...	1.2872	0.05784	94	72	17	5
1644	Well, it's a good thing I'm not a surgeon.	1.2872	0.05374	94	70	21	3
1645	This is the final step for your colonoscopy prep.	1.2871	0.04943	101	74	25	2
1646	Before I go in, I like to hone my knife skills.	1.2871	0.05328	101	76	21	4
1647	It’s for your constipation.	1.2871	0.05511	101	77	19	5
1648	Let me explain how the procedure works...	1.2871	0.05139	101	75	23	3
1649	I graduated from Barnum & Bailey...	1.2871	0.05328	101	76	21	4
1650	As you can see, this won't hurt a bit.	1.2870	0.05271	108	82	21	5
1651	If I miss then the procedure is half off.	1.2870	0.04753	108	79	27	2
1652	As you can see, the procedure poses little to no risk.	1.2870	0.05271	108	82	21	5
1653	Now let's see if you gained any weight since last time, shall we?	1.2870	0.06036	108	87	11	10
1654	It's okay, I'm not licensed to kill.	1.2870	0.04373	108	77	31	0
1655	I like to warm up before I cut. Don’t worry. You’ll be knocked out.	1.2870	0.05589	108	84	17	7
1656	Now are you OK with me doing your surgery?	1.2870	0.05104	108	81	23	4
1657	That's why we call it the PRACTICE of medicine.	1.2870	0.05206	115	88	21	6
1658	The therapy is a bit unorthodox, but I believe I have cured your aichmophobia.	1.2870	0.05057	115	87	23	5
1659	Don't worry,in most cases it's just a brief pre-surgery dexterity test to improve the patient-surgeon bond...	1.2870	0.04904	115	86	25	4
1660	Sometimes the diagnosis is worse than the disease.	1.2857	0.04818	112	83	26	3
1661	As you can see my prior patient had pretty good insurance	1.2857	0.05295	112	86	20	6
1662	We measure a dozen times and cut only once.	1.2857	0.05025	98	72	24	2
1663	There is much ancient wisdom in alternative medicine.	1.2857	0.06306	91	72	12	7
1664	Yeah I have zero idea what the fuck is going on here but I'm a doctor and we are twins and so fuck you.	1.2857	0.05733	112	89	14	9
1665	Humor me. It builds confidence.	1.2857	0.05477	91	68	20	3
1666	Now that I've ruled out side issues, we can proceed to the heart of the matter.	1.2857	0.05230	98	73	22	3
1667	Your insurance only covers so much.	1.2857	0.05533	105	81	18	6
1668	Now imagine each knife is an out-of-network provider.	1.2857	0.05618	98	75	18	5
1669	I almost never miss.	1.2857	0.04818	112	83	26	3
1670	Given the perfect symmetry, where should we place the last one?	1.2857	0.05365	105	80	20	5
1671	Yes Bill, we've found this to be the most effective way to train our patients to be still during surgery.	1.2857	0.05427	98	74	20	4
1672	You're up.	1.2857	0.05230	98	73	22	3
1673	Would you prefer the hit or miss surgery	1.2857	0.06239	84	65	14	5
1674	We thought the wheel was a bit archaic.	1.2857	0.05427	98	74	20	4
1675	No,I have never done a circumcision before	1.2857	0.06239	84	65	14	5
1676	Don’t worry, those were just the interns	1.2857	0.05761	84	63	18	3
1677	I am still trying to determine what area I want to specialize in once I finish my residency.	1.2857	0.06005	84	64	16	4
1678	Good News! I'm ready to operate	1.2857	0.05618	98	75	18	5
1679	Can't get any closer to the mark until the insurance is approved.	1.2857	0.05696	91	69	18	4
1680	Now that I've gained your trust, can we proceed with your vasectomy now?	1.2857	0.05533	105	81	18	6
1681	We use the finest cutting edge technology	1.2857	0.05477	91	68	20	3
1682	Warm up exercises.	1.2857	0.05427	98	74	20	4
1683	I'm not sure this procedure is covered by my insurance.	1.2857	0.05230	98	73	22	3
1684	Don’t worry. Most patients get the placebo.	1.2857	0.06465	84	66	12	6
1685	Ten bucks says you survive.	1.2857	0.05906	91	70	16	5
1686	It's bring your hobby to work day!	1.2857	0.05696	91	69	18	4
1687	You see, there's really nothing to be worried about.	1.2857	0.05618	98	75	18	5
1688	As you can see, my technique is pretty good.	1.2857	0.05191	105	79	22	4
1689	Me, a surgeon? Oh, I can see how the costume might give you that impression. No, your real surgeon will be with you momentarily. I'm just the pre-surgery entertainment that your insurance covers.	1.2857	0.04982	112	84	24	4
1690	This last one is my specialty.	1.2857	0.04811	98	71	26	1
1691	... or you could just take the regular colonoscopy prep.	1.2857	0.06110	91	71	14	6
1692	I’d say your odds are pretty good.	1.2857	0.05696	91	69	18	4
1693	Well, now we know what your problem isn’t.	1.2857	0.06239	84	65	14	5
1694	It’s benign.	1.2857	0.05696	91	69	18	4
1695	The good news is that you’ve tested negative for being a spoilsport who won’t try anything fun.	1.2857	0.04627	126	94	28	4
1696	This hospital has really become a circus. Now hold still.	1.2857	0.05477	91	68	20	3
1697	So where should we send the bill?	1.2857	0.05025	98	72	24	2
1698	No worries. That was when I was an intern.	1.2847	0.04854	137	106	23	8
1699	“Don’t worry. I always get lucky the thirteenth time on my appendectomies”.	1.2845	0.05449	116	91	17	8
1700	I'll give you one guess where knife number thirteen goes...	1.2845	0.04868	116	87	25	4
1701	It's perfectly safe, and you'll be asleep after the first one hits.	1.2844	0.05229	109	83	21	5
1702	Is this the proof you needed?	1.2843	0.05096	102	76	23	3
1703	What part of cut-rate health insurance did you not understand?	1.2843	0.05464	102	78	19	5
1704	It's all in the wrist.	1.2843	0.05464	102	78	19	5
1705	There is a chance this could hurt a little...	1.2843	0.05096	102	76	23	3
1706	Shall we try again?	1.2843	0.05096	102	76	23	3
1707	I think one more treatment should be enough to get those bowels of yours moving again.	1.2843	0.05283	102	77	21	4
1708	I haven't missed a prostate yet!	1.2843	0.05283	102	77	21	4
1709	Trust me. My grandma was Jewish.	1.2843	0.05464	102	78	19	5
1710	Your reflexes seem to be non existent.	1.2843	0.05464	102	78	19	5
1711	I'm actually trained to be an ophthalmologist.	1.2842	0.05532	95	72	19	4
1712	So, are you ready to go under the knife?	1.2842	0.05532	95	72	19	4
1713	Helps us see if you're calm under pressure.	1.2842	0.05325	95	71	21	3
1714	I measure twice, cut once.	1.2842	0.05731	95	73	17	5
1715	It's what I call 'my practice'.	1.2842	0.06109	95	75	13	7
1716	And I’ve got knife number thirteen right here in my hand…	1.2841	0.05587	88	66	19	3
1717	No,I just play one on TV	1.2841	0.06036	88	68	15	5
1718	It’s cutting edge, and it’s covered.	1.2841	0.06455	88	70	11	7
1719	You see, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.	1.2833	0.04611	120	89	28	3
1720	Laser eye surgery is really a game changer, Steve.	1.2833	0.05183	120	93	20	7
1721	You're lucky. My scan showed that the problem's not with any of your major organs.	1.2832	0.05102	113	86	22	5
1722	Don't worry, I'll be standing much closer to you during your surgery.	1.2832	0.04944	113	85	24	4
1723	So clearly, the metal you swallowed in that deli salad Isn’t magnetized!	1.2830	0.05321	106	81	20	5
1724	See what I mean, minimally invasive	1.2830	0.05321	106	81	20	5
1725	When it’s over you’ll forget all your problems and just be happy to be alive.	1.2828	0.05185	99	74	22	3
1726	Any questions before we start?	1.2828	0.05380	99	75	20	4
1727	I got the idea from watching Johnny Carson reruns.	1.2828	0.05750	99	77	16	6
1728	I just don't see anything but if you care to take another stab at it...	1.2828	0.05927	99	78	14	7
1729	It's a voluntary procedure.	1.2828	0.06098	99	79	12	8
1730	Don't worry. Thirteen's my lucky number.	1.2828	0.05380	99	75	20	4
1731	We are still waiting for FDA approval.	1.2828	0.05568	99	76	18	5
1732	I told them you were my miracle patient. Ok this time, spread your legs a little.	1.2828	0.05927	99	78	14	7
1733	Oh don’t worry. It’s standard procedure for any hopeful Speaker of the House.	1.2828	0.05927	99	78	14	7
1734	If you think my surgery techniques are impressive you should see how I do colonoscopies	1.2826	0.04967	92	67	24	1
1735	It won’t hurt if you hold still	1.2826	0.05642	92	70	18	4
1736	New method. Works great! I throw this knife at you and scare the blockage out of you.	1.2826	0.05202	92	68	22	2
1737	I find this method of diagnosis just as accurate and much more entertaining.	1.2826	0.05426	92	69	20	3
1738	This usually won’t hurt a bit.	1.2826	0.05642	92	70	18	4
1739	Now we’re going to measure your reflexes.	1.2824	0.04999	131	102	21	8
1740	Tell me again where it hurts.	1.2824	0.05703	85	64	18	3
1741	According to my chart, your body type is ectomorph.	1.2824	0.05944	85	65	16	4
1742	You can lose the shoes and socks	1.2824	0.06175	85	66	14	5
1743	Let me assure you. When I operate, I don't miss.	1.2824	0.05944	85	65	16	4
1744	This is usually well-tolerated by patients.	1.2821	0.06024	78	59	16	3
1745	Congratulations.	1.2821	0.05408	117	92	17	8
1746	I hope this demonstration convinces you of my skills with a knife. Now, let’s take a crack at that prostate.	1.2821	0.05270	117	91	19	7
1747	I'm confident we are getting closer to catching your shadow.	1.2821	0.06554	78	61	12	5
1748	Twins just know each other that well.	1.2821	0.05543	117	93	15	9
1749	Ringling Medical School has always been on the cutting edge of new surgical methods.	1.2818	0.04855	110	82	25	3
1750	This will test your reflexes better than the "knee jerk" test	1.2818	0.05500	110	86	17	7
1751	It's a minimally invasive procedure now.	1.2818	0.05024	110	83	23	4
1752	So, if I can do that, don't you think I can manage a prostate exam?	1.2818	0.05024	110	83	23	4
1753	That's why I don't do surgery.	1.2816	0.05921	103	82	13	8
1754	Put it this way, my childhood dream wasn't to run away from home to join the hospital...	1.2816	0.05054	103	77	23	3
1755	And that’s all that your insurance will cover.	1.2816	0.05054	103	77	23	3
1756	Minimally Invasive Surgery	1.2816	0.04862	103	76	25	2
1757	What would you say your level of anxiety is now?	1.2816	0.05418	103	79	19	5
1758	You say you’re having trouble emptying your bladder?	1.2816	0.05239	103	78	21	4
1759	I also do parties.	1.2816	0.05758	103	81	15	7
1760	Or for our Affordable Care patients, we have the one that spins.	1.2812	0.05868	96	75	15	6
1761	Feeling lucky, Mr. Smith?	1.2812	0.05868	96	75	15	6
1762	Yes, your plan does cover cutting edge medical technology.	1.2812	0.06052	96	76	13	7
1763	Now do you trust me to operate?	1.2812	0.05678	96	74	17	5
1764	The odds are good	1.2812	0.05482	96	73	19	4
1765	I’m pretty sure I can squeeze in your vasectomy this afternoon.	1.2812	0.05868	96	75	15	6
1766	Relax. I'm much more accurate when you're lying down.	1.2812	0.05868	96	75	15	6
1767	It’s a really simple procedure I’ve performed dozens of times!	1.2812	0.04953	128	99	22	7
1768	There was just no future with the carnival, so I went to med school.	1.2812	0.05278	96	72	21	3
1769	Worst case scenario, I'll lower your blood pressure.	1.2812	0.05075	128	100	20	8
1770	Now that you’ve signed the release form, I can tell you more about our experimental procedure.	1.2812	0.05278	96	72	21	3
1771	Okay, you were right. We SHOULD do this on the operating table instead.	1.2812	0.05278	96	72	21	3
1772	dont worry-the laser knives are more accurate!	1.2810	0.04871	121	92	24	5
1773	Sure you're relieved but my surgical residents are very disappointed.	1.2810	0.05010	121	93	22	6
1774	That one on the lower left. Does that look infected to you?	1.2809	0.05977	89	69	15	5
1775	Our specialists train a lot, as you can see!	1.2809	0.05533	89	67	19	3
1776	Do you feel better now?	1.2809	0.05977	89	69	15	5
1777	As you can see, we've narrowed down the problem	1.2809	0.05533	89	67	19	3
1778	I kill at darts .	1.2807	0.05503	114	90	16	8
1779	Yes, you'll be going under the knife.	1.2805	0.06322	82	64	13	5
1780	Don’t worry, I’ll aim straight at the gizzard with you	1.2805	0.05827	82	62	17	3
1781	Next up, I’ll guess your weight	1.2805	0.06322	82	64	13	5
1782	If I hit you, your next visit is free.	1.2805	0.06322	82	64	13	5
1783	Aha!! It's you aura that's making you sick.	1.2805	0.05827	82	62	17	3
1784	I’m a Cutting Board Certified doctor.	1.2805	0.06079	82	63	15	4
1785	Don’t look at me, you’re the one without insurance	1.2804	0.05277	107	82	20	5
1786	We find it is quicker than actual surgery. Patients see this and suddenly get better.	1.2804	0.05277	107	82	20	5
1787	I use the Monte Carlo method of surgery	1.2804	0.05442	107	83	18	6
1788	Let’s explore non-surgical options.	1.2804	0.05108	107	81	22	4
1789	This kills at the bar	1.2804	0.05108	107	81	22	4
1790	The results look good so far, but let's just do one more round to make sure.	1.2804	0.05277	107	82	20	5
1791	Relax. In most cases the side effects are minor."	1.2804	0.04932	107	80	24	3
1792	your insurance carrier requires that we do one more existing conditions check	1.2804	0.05442	107	83	18	6
1793	Did I mention that I got my training at Barnum and Bailey?	1.2803	0.04726	132	101	25	6
1794	Well, yes. But only once.	1.2800	0.05874	100	79	14	7
1795	I worked at the circus before I got my medical license on Ebay.	1.2800	0.05140	100	75	22	3
1796	I've never got a patient before.	1.2800	0.05333	100	76	20	4
1797	Believe me, Alex, it's the most surefire treatment for chronic constipation. Are you sure you don't want to take your shoes and socks off?	1.2800	0.05519	100	77	18	5
1798	Don't worry, it's an outpatient procedure!	1.2800	0.05140	100	75	22	3
1799	Typically the procedure isn't too invasive	1.2800	0.05140	100	75	22	3
1800	So, we’ll schedule the vasectomy for a week from Wednesday.	1.2797	0.04797	118	89	25	4
1801	Worried? Does this look like anything could go wrong	1.2796	0.05154	93	69	22	2
1802	We're getting close to a diagnosis. Let's take another stab at it.	1.2796	0.05376	93	70	20	3
1803	So, you just have to throw and that will be where I'll operate.	1.2796	0.05795	93	72	16	5
1804	Don't worry...the knives are completely sanitized	1.2796	0.05154	93	69	22	2
1805	Try to let me know if you're about to sneeze.	1.2796	0.05795	93	72	16	5
1806	I am so sorry to inform you that you are in really bad shape.	1.2793	0.04818	111	83	25	3
1807	Then we carefully peel off the skin, deal with that pesky kidney and there you are.	1.2793	0.04985	111	84	23	4
1808	We keep costs down by selling tickets to our surgeries.	1.2793	0.05303	111	86	19	6
1809	One way or another, I can guarantee your pain will end quickly.	1.2793	0.05456	111	87	17	7
1810	You'd think with that accuracy I'd be better with a scalpel.	1.2791	0.05883	86	66	16	4
1811	It was the last paragraph of your checkin waiver.	1.2791	0.05883	86	66	16	4
1812	No worries. So far, I have a 100% success rate.	1.2791	0.05883	86	66	16	4
1813	It’s nothing personal, we just felt you didn’t make the cut.	1.2791	0.05646	86	65	18	3
1814	Well, yes, this new treatment is cutting edge.	1.2788	0.05012	104	78	23	3
1815	Told you ... this is way more fun than pickleball	1.2788	0.05543	104	81	17	6
1816	Missed it by THAT much	1.2788	0.05372	104	80	19	5
1817	It's a 'can't miss' proposition	1.2788	0.05195	104	79	21	4
1818	My surgery is hit or miss..	1.2788	0.05543	104	81	17	6
1819	Mr. Lipshitz, are you ready for your vasectomy?	1.2787	0.05367	122	97	16	9
1820	So this will be just an arthroscopic procedure.	1.2787	0.04974	122	94	22	6
1821	I just didn’t feel like dodging a bullet was enough.	1.2785	0.05679	79	59	18	2
1822	Not to worry. I have excellent malpractice insurance.	1.2785	0.05958	79	60	16	3
1823	All it takes is some patients.	1.2784	0.05231	97	73	21	3
1824	In all medical care the key is trust.	1.2784	0.05022	97	72	23	2
1825	Remarkable, Carl. I've never seen anyone score a 12 on the Flinch Test.	1.2784	0.05815	97	76	15	6
1826	Just warming up for your vasectomy procedure.	1.2784	0.05231	97	73	21	3
1827	Actually, it was through my carnival work that I first discovered my talent for surgery.	1.2784	0.05433	97	74	19	4
1828	Once I figure out how to stop throwing it so low, I can introduce it to all my fear management patients.	1.2784	0.05815	97	76	15	6
1829	Now this test may have some side effects.	1.2784	0.05815	97	76	15	6
1830	Although risky, many people find the treatment exhilarating.	1.2784	0.05231	97	73	21	3
1831	Your constipation is as good as cured, Mr. Wilkins.	1.2784	0.05627	97	75	17	5
1832	Relax — the only thing I’ll stick you with is the bill.	1.2784	0.05627	97	75	17	5
1833	Yeah, still in beta, but so far much more effective than the old Smiley Face pain chart. Mostly.	1.2784	0.05231	97	73	21	3
1834	It's the only surgical protocol covered by medicare.	1.2783	0.05024	115	88	22	5
1835	Of course, it is much harder with a scalpel	1.2783	0.05461	115	91	16	8
1836	And they said surgical residencies are boring.	1.2778	0.05398	108	84	18	6
1837	The good news is your insurance only covers one throw.	1.2778	0.04893	108	81	24	3
1838	And now it’s time for the double-blind phase of the clinical trial.	1.2778	0.05703	90	69	17	4
1839	We're phasing out the reflex hammer.	1.2778	0.06007	72	54	16	2
1840	I need some more practice. Thanks for volunteering.	1.2778	0.05235	108	83	20	5
1841	But first, join me at the ‘Wall of Trust’	1.2778	0.05709	108	86	14	8
1842	It's a rather safe procedure, but there are some risks	1.2778	0.05556	108	85	16	7
1843	Very good, now let’s see how well you can dodge a few bullets.	1.2778	0.05247	90	67	21	2
1844	We need additional work done for a sharper image.	1.2778	0.05480	90	68	19	3
1845	This is our cutting-edge technology until we get our new. MRI instrument.	1.2778	0.05067	108	82	22	4
1846	The only patient who didn't make it died from a heart attack so that doesn't really count.	1.2778	0.06126	90	71	13	6
1847	Of course, this chart only shows the statistically significant results.	1.2778	0.05067	108	82	22	4
1848	We’ll get it with the next one. I can feel it.	1.2778	0.04994	126	98	21	7
1849	You can face me or face the wall; either way it's gonna hurt.	1.2778	0.05004	90	66	23	1
1850	Be cool. Its safer than childbirth.	1.2778	0.05480	90	68	19	3
1851	When every test fails to deliver clear results, we let fate decide.	1.2778	0.05067	108	82	22	4
1852	Yes, I'm still practicing.	1.2778	0.05067	108	82	22	4
1853	Congratulations, you tested negative!	1.2778	0.05480	90	68	19	3
1854	We eventually make the right incision.	1.2773	0.04453	119	88	29	2
1855	I’ll use this last one for the vasectomy.	1.2773	0.04910	119	91	23	5
1856	It will make you pee the kidney stone right out.	1.2772	0.05288	101	77	20	4
1857	See how well that went? Let’s try it from the waiting area.	1.2772	0.04899	101	75	24	2
1858	most of my patients prefer to be sedated for this next part	1.2772	0.05097	101	76	22	3
1859	I ‘“I’ve done my best to spare you from invasive surgery, but…	1.2771	0.06015	83	64	15	4
1860	My nurse has outlined the procedure for you.	1.2771	0.06015	83	64	15	4
1861	No, no underwear.	1.2771	0.06255	83	65	13	5
1862	Okay, enough practice. Let’s start that vasectomy, what do you say?	1.2768	0.05107	112	86	21	5
1863	And THAT, Mr. Goldberg is why I flunked out of Mohel School!	1.2768	0.05107	112	86	21	5
1864	We just opened our Center for Precision Medicine.	1.2766	0.05108	94	70	22	2
1865	One more knife, double or nothing.	1.2766	0.05741	94	73	16	5
1866	So...You feelin lucky?	1.2766	0.05538	94	72	18	4
1867	As a matter of fact, I am Jewish.	1.2766	0.05538	94	72	18	4
1868	Forward facing or rear?	1.2766	0.05327	94	71	20	3
1869	I call it ‘Assisted Circus-cide’	1.2766	0.05327	94	71	20	3
1870	Trust me. This is the best way to overcome your fear of knives.	1.2766	0.05741	94	73	16	5
1871	You can trust me,man. I’m no back-stabber.	1.2766	0.05327	94	71	20	3
1872	As you can see, for your next procedure you're going to have to take off the hospital gown.	1.2762	0.05327	105	81	19	5
1873	Not a wide stance, no.	1.2762	0.04972	105	79	23	3
1874	Don't worry, you'll be lying down!	1.2762	0.05496	105	82	17	6
1875	I have one remaining test to perform, but I believe we're close to identifying the source of your anxiety attacks.	1.2759	0.05135	116	90	20	6
1876	As your evil twin, I hope you understand that I have to do this....	1.2759	0.05345	87	65	20	2
1877	Don't worry, it shouldn't hurt.	1.2759	0.06049	87	68	14	5
1878	It's Vegas style acupuncture	1.2756	0.04427	127	95	29	3
1879	Trust me! You don't need a second opinion!	1.2755	0.05186	98	74	21	3
1880	The thirteenth blade cuts the deepest	1.2755	0.05186	98	74	21	3
1881	As far as you know I've never not missed.	1.2755	0.05186	98	74	21	3
1882	Unfortunately your insurance doesn’t cover this doctor.	1.2755	0.05942	98	78	13	7
1883	I like to challenge myself. Never stop learning, you know?	1.2755	0.05186	98	74	21	3
1884	Vasectomy? No problem.	1.2752	0.05193	109	84	20	5
1885	The whole hospital is now contactless.	1.2752	0.05662	109	87	14	8
1886	This just pre-op.	1.2752	0.05193	109	84	20	5
1887	As you can see, this treatment works 100% of the time.	1.2752	0.05193	109	84	20	5
1888	. Do you want local or general?	1.2752	0.05027	109	83	22	4
1889	The same politicians who tell women what they can do with their bodies had some interesting thoughts on testing for Parkinson's disease.	1.2752	0.05193	109	84	20	5
1890	'Throw the knife where it hurts'	1.2750	0.04874	120	92	23	5
1891	I hope the results motivate you to keep the weight off.	1.2750	0.05618	80	60	18	2
1892	The margins are clear. You prognosis is excellent.	1.2750	0.05618	80	60	18	2
1893	It’s clear your fight or flight response is impaired.	1.2750	0.06408	80	63	12	5
1894	You should be glad, the last surgeon was a real clown.	1.2750	0.06156	80	62	14	4
1895	What it lacks in precision it makes up for in excitement!	1.2747	0.06066	91	72	13	6
1896	See, noting to worry about.	1.2747	0.05649	91	70	17	4
1897	I was hoping to spice up the doctor's conference this year...	1.2747	0.05428	91	69	19	3
1898	Stand there.	1.2747	0.05861	91	71	15	5
1899	It's my warm-up activity to establish patient trust.	1.2747	0.05428	91	69	19	3
1900	I think you're missing the point.	1.2747	0.06264	91	73	11	7
1901	This procedure can be hit or miss.	1.2747	0.06264	91	73	11	7
1902	This, or you can pay in advance.	1.2747	0.05861	91	71	15	5
1903	You're my last patient for the blood pressure ad pulse rate test	1.2747	0.05649	91	70	17	4
1904	It appears, Ronald, that surgery is going to be our last resort.	1.2745	0.05054	102	77	22	3
1905	Why do you think they call it, 'medical practice'?	1.2745	0.04858	102	76	24	2
1906	Less noisy than a MRI, and more cutting edge.	1.2743	0.05370	113	89	17	7
1907	Do you have a relevant question before your vasectomy?	1.2743	0.05067	113	87	21	5
1908	Would you care to assume the position, and see if I can throw knife 13 as well as I threw the others.	1.2743	0.04909	113	86	23	4
1909	This is a very bad hospital	1.2740	0.06546	73	57	12	4
1910	A chance to cut is a chance to cure.	1.2738	0.05449	84	63	19	2
1911	Finally, No strings attached.	1.2738	0.05706	84	64	17	3
1912	We’ll bill your insurance.	1.2738	0.05179	84	62	21	1
1913	It's a fly-by-knife operation.	1.2737	0.04836	95	70	24	1
1914	Let's try diagnosing your condition one more time	1.2737	0.05881	95	75	14	6
1915	I’m afraid this test really is necessary	1.2737	0.05687	95	74	16	5
1916	You'll only feel a little prick.	1.2737	0.05279	95	72	20	3
1917	Your anxiety finally lost this game!	1.2737	0.05279	95	72	20	3
1918	This will help you overcome your fear of needles.	1.2737	0.06068	95	76	12	7
1919	So, during the surgery, I throw the knife to precisely remove your appendix.	1.2737	0.05279	95	72	20	3
1920	Okay - I get it. You're good with a knife.	1.2736	0.05283	106	82	19	5
1921	And they said I couldn't go from the carnival to Kaiser.	1.2736	0.05110	106	81	21	4
1922	This differs slightly from a traditional biopsy	1.2735	0.04949	117	90	22	5
1923	They say the 13th dagger may be the unlucky one.	1.2735	0.05239	117	92	18	7
1924	This last knife I call "good old lucky thirteen."	1.2727	0.04695	121	92	25	4
1925	Got one left for good luck !	1.2727	0.04817	110	83	24	3
1926	We are getting closer to a diagnosis.	1.2727	0.05294	88	66	20	2
1927	One step LEFT!	1.2727	0.05766	88	68	16	4
1928	It's either this or a $500 deductible	1.2727	0.05766	88	68	16	4
1929	''You're terminal anyway, so what do ya' say? "	1.2727	0.06572	77	61	11	5
1930	It's Trump. Nothing sticks to him.	1.2727	0.05766	88	68	16	4
1931	Have you seen 'Knives Out'?	1.2727	0.05766	88	68	16	4
1932	Where do you want this one?	1.2727	0.05766	88	68	16	4
1933	We aim to please.	1.2727	0.05616	110	88	14	8
1934	Its best if you don't flinch,this is the standard test to determine if your ready for a term in Congress.	1.2727	0.05311	110	86	18	6
1935	I know, I know, but I can’t get over my fear of blood	1.2727	0.05766	88	68	16	4
1936	This will hurt you more than it will hurt me.	1.2727	0.06306	77	60	13	4
1937	Well, you chose the out-patient procedure...	1.2727	0.05988	88	69	14	5
1938	We could put you on the treadmill, but this is way easier!	1.2727	0.05294	88	66	20	2
1939	As you can see, we marked off the problem area.	1.2727	0.05710	99	78	15	6
1940	I can also juggle."	1.2727	0.05151	110	85	20	5
1941	Now,let me show you where the last one goes.	1.2727	0.05527	99	77	17	5
1942	Just a small incision here, here, and here	1.2727	0.05766	88	68	16	4
1943	Technically speaking, we are still in the pseudo-science phase.	1.2727	0.04987	110	84	22	4
1944	It’s just like darts, except lethal.	1.2719	0.04367	114	84	29	1
1945	It's the latest method and no, this has nothing to do with Dad dying and our being the only heirs.	1.2719	0.05028	114	88	21	5
1946	Then, of course, there is Murphy Law.	1.2719	0.04709	114	86	25	3
1947	You won't feel a thing, I promise.	1.2718	0.05552	103	81	16	6
1948	Sometimes surgery is not the best option	1.2718	0.05198	103	79	20	4
1949	Is 13 your lucky number?	1.2718	0.05198	103	79	20	4
1950	Just keep your hands in the lines.	1.2718	0.04818	103	77	24	2
1951	As you can see, the aura removal is quite painless.	1.2718	0.05198	103	79	20	4
1952	The oath I took said nothing about near harm	1.2718	0.05198	103	79	20	4
1953	This may hurt a lot.	1.2718	0.05378	103	80	18	5
1954	That's my side hustle practice board.	1.2718	0.04616	103	76	26	1
1955	I believe you’re immune.	1.2718	0.05198	103	79	20	4
1956	I'm due for a bullseye.	1.2717	0.06007	92	73	13	6
1957	The last knife comes with your bill.	1.2717	0.05595	92	71	17	4
1958	I disagree, not all the good spots are taken	1.2717	0.05804	92	72	15	5
1959	As a physician I believe this is better than an MRI and way more fun!	1.2717	0.05804	92	72	15	5
1960	For some reason your blood pressure is elevated.	1.2717	0.05595	92	71	17	4
1961	Do I detect a little white coat syndrome? Don't worry. You'll fit right in.	1.2717	0.05377	92	70	19	3
1962	It's the same with surgery: a thousand cuts...but eventually I get it exactly right.	1.2717	0.05804	92	72	15	5
1963	If all goes as planned it should be minimally invasive.	1.2717	0.05595	92	71	17	4
1964	The University of Wallenda. Why do you ask?	1.2717	0.05804	92	72	15	5
1965	Just give me a call the next time you get the hiccups.	1.2717	0.04913	92	68	23	1
1966	Now, my last patient…he had insurance.	1.2717	0.05804	92	72	15	5
1967	I showed them this, but they still wouldn’t let me do the bris.	1.2717	0.06202	92	74	11	7
1968	As you can see, I am very skilled at what I do.	1.2716	0.05559	81	61	18	2
1969	If I nick it I fix it.	1.2716	0.06089	81	63	14	4
1970	It's our new much more effective acupuncture routine.	1.2716	0.06337	81	64	12	5
1971	Yup!! Only one spot we missed!	1.2716	0.06089	81	63	14	4
1972	Your insurance only covers the spinning wheel options	1.2716	0.05559	81	61	18	2
1973	The exploratory surgery found nothing.	1.2716	0.06337	81	64	12	5
1974	It’s our newest cardiac stress test.	1.2716	0.05830	81	62	16	3
1975	I told you losing weight would affect your lifespan.	1.2710	0.05405	107	84	17	6
1976	As you can see, It's important that you stay completely still during this phase of your recovery.	1.2710	0.05069	107	82	21	4
1977	How are you liking your zero deductible insurance?"	1.2710	0.05405	107	84	17	6
1978	I do only non-invasive surgery.	1.2710	0.05069	107	82	21	4
1979	Well,I took a stab at it and it appears nothing is wrong with you	1.2710	0.05240	107	83	19	5
1980	It's the latest test from Canada's health care system.	1.2708	0.05017	96	72	22	2
1981	I'd say your chances are about 50-50	1.2708	0.05231	96	73	20	3
1982	I would say your immune system is quite good!	1.2708	0.05826	96	76	14	6
1983	No. No need for general anesthesia.	1.2708	0.05437	96	74	18	4
1984	There’s your second’s opinion.	1.2708	0.04794	96	71	24	1
1985	This part of your exam I will test your ability to control your reflexes.	1.2708	0.05826	96	76	14	6
1986	Incisions, incisions, decisions!	1.2706	0.05648	85	65	17	3
1987	Yes, I graduated from Coney Island University. How’d you guess?	1.2706	0.06348	85	68	11	6
1988	We don't have much left to throw at you.	1.2706	0.05891	85	66	15	4
1989	That’ll be $120,000	1.2706	0.05891	85	66	15	4
1990	To think, all those years I could’ve been living the life—just me, my knives and the open road…small town to small town, funnel cake for breakfast, bang’n carnies…all of it wasted in medical school.	1.2706	0.05891	85	66	15	4
1991	First thing I do is not harm	1.2706	0.05648	85	65	17	3
1992	This is why I don’t I don’t carry malpractice insurance	1.2703	0.04779	111	84	24	3
1993	As with any operation, of course, risk assessment is a critical factor.	1.2703	0.04948	111	85	22	4
1994	You see, I am a very good surgeon.	1.2703	0.04948	111	85	22	4
1995	So first we begin with the eye exam.	1.2703	0.04948	111	85	22	4
1996	Before med school?... Ringling.	1.2703	0.05111	111	86	20	5
1997	Anything that draws blood won’t go against your deductible.	1.2703	0.05111	111	86	20	5
1998	and my parents said that year off to join the carnival was a waste of money.	1.2703	0.06174	74	57	14	3
1999	Just a little vasectomy practice.	1.2700	0.05660	100	79	15	6
2000	As you can see, surgery to date has been non-invasive	1.2700	0.04894	100	75	23	2
2001	You can unfreeze now.	1.2700	0.05291	100	77	19	4
2002	…and if it’s inside the lines, I’m IN network.	1.2700	0.05291	100	77	19	4
2003	Don't worry; I never miss.	1.2700	0.05291	100	77	19	4
2004	The actual surgery will also feature my beautiful assistant in her sequined leotard.	1.2697	0.05929	89	70	14	5
2005	For most patients it's a relatively noninvasive procedure.	1.2697	0.05709	89	69	16	4
2006	Not to worry, I always work better blindfolded.	1.2697	0.05709	89	69	16	4
2007	Look on the bright side. If I miss you won't need surgery	1.2697	0.05481	89	68	18	3
2008	Statistically speaking, I should get your operation right."	1.2697	0.05929	89	70	14	5
2009	The last twelve patients didn't feel a thing.	1.2697	0.04993	89	66	22	1
2010	So you see, it clearly wasn’t here where you lost your arm.	1.2697	0.05481	89	68	18	3
2011	Can I get a second opinion?	1.2697	0.04993	89	66	22	1
2012	To be honest, the process is somewhat akin to this.	1.2697	0.04731	89	65	24	0
2013	So as you can see, the robot is not perfect yet.	1.2696	0.05141	115	90	19	6
2014	They called Pasteur and Salk crazy, too.	1.2692	0.06496	78	62	11	5
2015	Well, I doubt we’ll need to do this again tomorrow if that’s what your asking.	1.2692	0.04970	104	79	22	3
2016	Like I said, Mr Bradshaw, unconventional, but you couldn't be in safer hands.	1.2692	0.05672	104	83	14	7
2017	All your results look good so far, but I have one more I'd like to try.	1.2692	0.05155	104	80	20	4
2018	It was an aura-ectomy.	1.2692	0.04779	104	78	24	2
2019	Hey bro, if you hadn't quit med school, you'd be able to see a pattern and chill out	1.2692	0.05155	104	80	20	4
2020	Just want to make sure everything is squared away with your insurance.	1.2692	0.04970	104	79	22	3
2021	This is where I practice aura surgery.	1.2692	0.04970	104	79	22	3
2022	Well, it's still not an exact science...	1.2692	0.05962	78	60	15	3
2023	And this is just a routine test we do with all of my clones.	1.2692	0.05155	104	80	20	4
2024	So far, so good.	1.2688	0.05949	93	74	13	6
2025	Steve realized too late that he booked his colonoscopy with the wrong doctor.	1.2688	0.05542	93	72	17	4
2026	Our last patient was a very lucky man.	1.2688	0.05327	93	71	19	3
2027	Then we have balloon animals for your angioplasty.	1.2688	0.04868	93	69	23	1
2028	I promise I won't miss when you're on the table.	1.2688	0.05949	93	74	13	6
2029	Or we could go with Ed Ames and a hatchet.	1.2688	0.05327	93	71	19	3
2030	Don't worry. You seem to fit the profile for patients who have survived this operation.	1.2688	0.05103	93	70	21	2
2031	I've got a great track record, so nothing to worry about.	1.2688	0.05542	93	72	17	4
2032	It beats getting sawed in half.	1.2688	0.05103	93	70	21	2
2033	Relax, I'm very precise.	1.2688	0.05327	93	71	19	3
2034	I think we'll go in through the nose.	1.2688	0.05542	93	72	17	4
2035	And now, I'll put on my glasses and try again.	1.2688	0.05103	93	70	21	2
2036	Is your appendix ready to surrender yet?	1.2688	0.04868	93	69	23	1
2037	Ok, I think we've done enough testing	1.2688	0.05103	93	70	21	2
2038	I can say for certain that you have a suppressed twitch response.	1.2685	0.04671	108	81	25	2
2039	It’s a bit misleading — it doesn’t show the errant throws.	1.2685	0.05520	108	86	15	7
2040	Now, you can opt for a more intrusive procédure.	1.2685	0.04853	108	82	23	3
2041	Does it hurt when I do this?	1.2685	0.04853	108	82	23	3
2042	How long have you had that twitch?	1.2683	0.05768	82	63	16	3
2043	As you can see, it can be a dangerous procedure.	1.2683	0.06504	82	66	10	6
2044	Circumsision is not a Big Deal....	1.2683	0.05768	82	63	16	3
2045	I hardly ever miss, ok?	1.2683	0.05768	82	63	16	3
2046	This has always been my aim as a surgeon	1.2683	0.05768	82	63	16	3
2047	Next we’ll need to test your reflexes	1.2683	0.06023	82	64	14	4
2048	You're out of network, Jerry, so it's the copay or the full body filet.	1.2680	0.05773	97	77	14	6
2049	'You choose I cut"	1.2680	0.05388	97	75	18	4
2050	It's ok - I've been practicing for 10 years.	1.2680	0.05388	97	75	18	4
2051	The process is called differential diagnosis. These we can rule out. Let's take one more stab at it.	1.2680	0.05185	97	74	20	3
2052	Not bad on average.	1.2680	0.05388	97	75	18	4
2053	For people with your condition it’s hit or miss but we’ve been getting good results with this new therapy.	1.2679	0.05227	112	88	18	6
2054	Actually,I prefer leaches for my annual blood letting	1.2679	0.05071	112	87	20	5
2055	Good news is you don’t have to wait long for the test results to come back.	1.2677	0.05055	127	101	18	8
2056	I think we’re getting closer to the root of your anxiety	1.2676	0.06004	71	54	15	2
2057	You won’t be going under the knife per se…	1.2676	0.06330	71	55	13	3
2058	No worries…I took an oath to do no harm!	1.2674	0.06060	86	68	13	5
2059	It’s a new form of alternative medicine called hackupuncture. It’s all tbe rage I hear.	1.2674	0.05591	86	66	17	3
2060	Not to worry. My patients have a 93 percent survival rate.	1.2674	0.05830	86	67	15	4
2061	It adds a bit of fun to surgery.	1.2674	0.05830	86	67	15	4
2062	Surprisingly, this is covered by your insurance!	1.2674	0.05591	86	66	17	3
2063	No worries, the next one won't miss.	1.2674	0.05591	86	66	17	3
2064	I'm a little unorthodox, but I am covered by your HMO.	1.2674	0.06496	86	70	9	7
2065	I obviously adhere to the Hippocratic Oath.	1.2674	0.05341	86	65	19	2
2066	Oh, go on, thirteen is my lucky number.	1.2674	0.05830	86	67	15	4
2067	Don’t worry, I sterilised it.	1.2674	0.05591	86	66	17	3
2068	First, we do weight, height, and perimeter.	1.2673	0.05052	101	77	21	3
2069	Let's cut to the chase...	1.2673	0.05430	101	79	17	5
2070	Ok, time to go to sleep.	1.2673	0.05052	101	77	21	3
2071	But YOUR surgery will be done robotically from seven time zones away.	1.2673	0.05245	101	78	19	4
2072	It cures everything.	1.2673	0.05052	101	77	21	3
2073	As we were taught, 'first do no harm.'	1.2673	0.05430	101	79	17	5
2074	So, are you still scared of needles?	1.2673	0.05430	101	79	17	5
2075	Your insurance company requires this pre-testing before they will approve the test that you actually need	1.2673	0.05430	101	79	17	5
2076	Okay, now tell me if this hurts.	1.2672	0.04952	116	90	21	5
2077	No need to worry. I aced Knife Throwing 101.	1.2667	0.04947	90	67	22	1
2078	And yet in so many other ways running away to the circus did prepare me for a career in medicine.	1.2667	0.05193	90	68	20	2
2079	Well, we can rule out a case of the flinches.	1.2667	0.05288	105	82	18	5
2080	Remember: if you see somebody you know, don't be waving to them.	1.2667	0.05112	105	81	20	4
2081	Trying out for America's Got Talent!	1.2667	0.06667	75	60	10	5
2082	We call it fright therapy, and I'm getting pretty good at it.	1.2667	0.05428	90	69	18	3
2083	So, where shall I begin?	1.2667	0.04947	90	67	22	1
2084	I just started doing vascectomies	1.2667	0.05653	90	70	16	4
2085	So, George, are you ready to go under the knife now?	1.2667	0.04929	105	80	22	3
2086	I get my surgeon's certification now. Thanks for your help.	1.2667	0.05624	105	84	14	7
2087	For most patients this colonoscopy clear-out preparation procedure is non-invasive.	1.2667	0.05653	90	70	16	4
2088	This is how we keep our surgeries so cheap.	1.2667	0.05428	90	69	18	3
2089	This is where we test your nerves.	1.2667	0.05653	90	70	16	4
2090	Are you familiar with the Ringling Brothers school of medicine?	1.2667	0.05288	105	82	18	5
2091	Don’t worry, adult circumcision still has a very high success rate.	1.2667	0.06102	75	58	14	3
2092	And that's what it would look like if I was a bad doctor	1.2667	0.04929	105	80	22	3
2093	It was me who drew the line, not the police.	1.2667	0.05428	90	69	18	3
2094	Would you like to guess where the next one goes?	1.2661	0.04814	109	83	23	3
2095	Are you ready to go under the knife now?	1.2661	0.05317	109	86	17	6
2096	Any questions about my fee?	1.2660	0.05056	94	71	21	2
2097	I’ll ask you ONE MORE TIME: ‘Are you in favor of healthcare cuts?’	1.2660	0.05892	94	75	13	6
2098	My incentive to patients to not gain weight.	1.2660	0.05892	94	75	13	6
2099	Sorry but we didn't get clear margins. We'll have to go back in.	1.2660	0.05278	94	72	19	3
2100	I assure you there is a really high survival rate.	1.2660	0.05490	94	73	17	4
2101	'I have a 90% accuracy rate. Just stand between the lines.'	1.2660	0.05490	94	73	17	4
2102	This is why I’m not a surgeon	1.2660	0.05278	94	72	19	3
2103	So this is what it means when patients go under the knife.	1.2660	0.05490	94	73	17	4
2104	Once we're in the operating room, the pattern I follow will change dramatically.	1.2658	0.06165	79	62	13	4
2105	Yes we can reattach your right arm.	1.2658	0.05317	79	59	19	1
2106	One more to put you on knife support.	1.2658	0.05896	79	61	15	3
2107	Due to budget cuts, we've run out of anesthesia...so we've had to improvise.	1.2658	0.05896	79	61	15	3
2108	Any bozo can do an appendectomy with a scalpel....	1.2656	0.04769	128	100	22	6
2109	No problem with nerves. Now lets see about circulation.	1.2655	0.05336	113	90	16	7
2110	Here's an outline of my body of work.	1.2655	0.05186	113	89	18	6
2111	OK, let’s get to the heart of this.	1.2655	0.05031	113	88	20	5
2112	Unfortunately, elective knife throwing isn’t typically covered.	1.2655	0.04872	113	87	22	4
2113	Turn your head and scream.	1.2653	0.05340	98	76	18	4
2114	It's the one test your HMO covers	1.2653	0.05720	98	78	14	6
2115	I need more practice.	1.2653	0.05340	98	76	18	4
2116	We prefer to use the term “survival rate” rather than “cure”	1.2653	0.05139	98	75	20	3
2117	Are you still worried about going under the knife?	1.2653	0.05139	98	75	20	3
2118	Now that we’ve each demonstrated steady nerves, the surgery may proceed.	1.2653	0.04712	98	73	24	1
2119	We almost always miss the patient. If we don't, you get your money back.	1.2653	0.05340	98	76	18	4
2120	Now what is it you want to cut out of your life?	1.2653	0.05139	98	75	20	3
2121	As you can see, our weight loss plan is targeted to achieve your optimum body shape.	1.2653	0.05533	98	77	16	5
2122	Let’s check those reflexes.	1.2653	0.05340	98	76	18	4
2123	They don’t make a silhouette showing where your appendix is - so I practice with this. Should be OK.	1.2653	0.05340	98	76	18	4
2124	And, the 13th knife goes here!	1.2651	0.05444	83	63	18	2
2125	Now that I'm warmed up, are you ready for your vasectomy?	1.2651	0.06201	83	66	12	5
2126	As you can see, it’s not exactly going UNDER the knife.	1.2651	0.05959	83	65	14	4
2127	I'm hoping this will be a non-invasive procedure.	1.2651	0.05707	83	64	16	3
2128	You were smart to choose us for our targeted therapy.	1.2651	0.06658	83	68	8	7
2129	That didn't work. Let's try sawing you in half.	1.2651	0.06201	83	66	12	5
2130	Ready for lucky knife 13?	1.2651	0.05444	83	63	18	2
2131	Don't worry this test is only if you don't have insurance.	1.2651	0.05707	83	64	16	3
2132	We have very few requests for middle-aged circumcision.	1.2651	0.05959	83	65	14	4
2133	You said you were ready to go under the knife!	1.2651	0.05444	83	63	18	2
2134	Should be fine, just wishing I hadn’t had that second cup of coffee.	1.2651	0.05959	83	65	14	4
2135	Well, we can't question your peripheral vision	1.2651	0.05444	83	63	18	2
2136	„Congratulations, you are a knife-repellent. They will name this after you.„	1.2651	0.05707	83	64	16	3
2137	…and is this your gall bladder?	1.2647	0.04606	102	76	25	1
2138	You ready?	1.2647	0.05383	102	80	17	5
2139	Your results are valid, they are just not reliable.	1.2647	0.05200	102	79	19	4
2140	So, do want to take another stab at it?	1.2647	0.05561	102	81	15	6
2141	Less than two percent have any complications at all.	1.2647	0.05383	102	80	17	5
2142	It's the new government ordained surgeons training board.	1.2647	0.05009	102	78	21	3
2143	Now that I'm warmed up, is your surgery on the left or the right?	1.2647	0.05383	102	80	17	5
2144	Oh no I don’t do acupuncture, just acute punctures	1.2647	0.05383	102	80	17	5
2145	Before becoming a doctor I used to work at the circus. Now let's check that prostate.	1.2644	0.05288	87	66	19	2
2146	Just how badly do you want that Oxy Rx?	1.2644	0.05535	87	67	17	3
2147	Don't worry, it's not brain surgery	1.2644	0.05535	87	67	17	3
2148	The treatment is worse than the disease	1.2644	0.05535	87	67	17	3
2149	And if it goes sideways, at least we have the outline for the autopsy.	1.2642	0.04702	106	80	24	2
2150	There’s less blood this way.	1.2642	0.04702	106	80	24	2
2151	Who needs precision when you have a degree.	1.2642	0.05069	106	82	20	4
2152	Would you be more at ease wearing a hair net?	1.2639	0.06253	72	56	13	3
2153	The procedure is, as you see, non-invasive.	1.2637	0.05144	91	69	20	2
2154	Don't be concerned, but you do have to remove your gown.	1.2637	0.06019	91	73	12	6
2155	Oh, so then you ARE familiar with the tomahawk throw on the Johnny Carson show.	1.2637	0.06019	91	73	12	6
2156	Volunteers get a 35 percent discount on surgery.	1.2637	0.05599	91	71	16	4
2157	One more knife and I move up to the next level.	1.2637	0.04901	91	68	22	1
2158	It's both a diagnostic and treatment for shape conformity.	1.2637	0.04901	91	68	22	1
2159	Notice anything missing?	1.2637	0.05599	91	71	16	4
2160	I think we should take another stab at that last round of tests.	1.2637	0.05599	91	71	16	4
2161	Ours is a cutting edge technique.	1.2637	0.05376	91	70	18	3
2162	Stand still while I check if you have any stabbing pains	1.2637	0.05813	91	72	14	5
2163	I think you'll agree, Mr. Jones, I'm pretty handy with a knife! Now let's get that appendix out.	1.2637	0.05813	91	72	14	5
2164	I’ll be honest with you I’m a nervous surgeon	1.2637	0.05813	91	72	14	5
2165	We’ve tested your reflexes now let’s test your fortitude.	1.2637	0.05144	91	69	20	2
2166	as you can see, it is an entirely non-invasive procedure	1.2637	0.05376	91	70	18	3
2167	He was murdered standing up	1.2637	0.05144	91	69	20	2
2168	Well, I've never done a circumcision before.	1.2636	0.04948	110	85	21	4
2169	I interned in a carnival, why do you ask?	1.2636	0.04948	110	85	21	4
2170	Feel better?	1.2636	0.05114	110	86	19	5
2171	Those damn dermatologists never clean up after themselves, they always leave it to the urologists.	1.2636	0.05430	110	88	15	7
2172	Think of your lifetime of smoking and no lung cancer as near misses, but the one I'm holding in my hand...	1.2636	0.05430	110	88	15	7
2173	Don't worry, it'll just help you not to move during this procedure.	1.2636	0.05114	110	86	19	5
2174	That's the basic outline. Now let's cut to the chase.	1.2632	0.05439	95	74	17	4
2175	Congratulations. You don't require surgery.	1.2632	0.05439	95	74	17	4
2176	Of course, a game of darts would be safer but where is your sense of adventure!	1.2632	0.05229	95	73	19	3
2177	We call this last one the 'neutering knife."	1.2632	0.05439	95	74	17	4
2178	What can I say. You're just lucky.	1.2632	0.05229	95	73	19	3
2179	"When they gave me my degree they said I was now able to practice."	1.2632	0.05733	76	58	16	2
2180	Mostly they had heart attacks.	1.2632	0.06316	76	60	12	4
2181	Don’t worry, the procedure is perfectly safe. It’s the insurance companies that will gouge you.	1.2632	0.06316	76	60	12	4
2182	I think you're now ready to go under the knife.	1.2632	0.05439	95	74	17	4
2183	If you hold still, this won’t hurt a bit	1.2632	0.05439	95	74	17	4
2184	Care to try for 13?	1.2626	0.05668	99	79	14	6
2185	So, what? Now you’re working on my aura?	1.2626	0.05094	99	76	20	3
2186	Those are the areas where we won’t have to make an incision.	1.2626	0.05292	99	77	18	4
2187	Before this next test I must warn you ... There is a small co-pay	1.2626	0.04445	99	73	26	0
2188	Let me outline the problem for you.	1.2626	0.05483	99	78	16	5
2189	Is 13 a lucky number for you?	1.2626	0.04887	99	75	22	2
2190	Don't worry, if I miss, you get a full refund.	1.2626	0.05094	99	76	20	3
2191	It's usually less invasive.	1.2626	0.05094	99	76	20	3
2192	No, we don’t do robotic surgery here. We prefer more traditional methods.	1.2626	0.05483	99	78	16	5
2193	Occasionally, but it washes out.	1.2625	0.05831	80	62	15	3
2194	I’m thinking of taking my act on the road.	1.2625	0.05831	80	62	15	3
2195	No, your silhouette doesn’t make you look fat.	1.2625	0.05553	80	61	17	2
2196	Insurance covers everything but the knife.	1.2625	0.06096	80	63	13	4
2197	Where would you like us to start?	1.2625	0.04950	80	59	21	0
2198	7.7% chance I’ll find anything	1.2625	0.06350	80	64	11	5
2199	I said a Baker's dozen.	1.2625	0.05831	80	62	15	3
2200	Now, to perform one last procedure.	1.2625	0.06096	80	63	13	4
2201	« Don’t worry. I always prepare an outline. I never go in blind. »	1.2625	0.04950	80	59	21	0
2202	This next procedure was designed by our tele-health promotional team	1.2625	0.05831	80	62	15	3
2203	Without trust, life is so paltry.	1.2621	0.05155	103	80	19	4
2204	I find symmetry very soothing. Don't you?	1.2621	0.05337	103	81	17	5
2205	It’s better than a colonoscopy.	1.2621	0.05337	103	81	17	5
2206	I think we're twins . . . where did you get those tall socks from?	1.2621	0.05337	103	81	17	5
2207	So you can see why I don’t need a robot to do remote surgery.	1.2621	0.05155	103	80	19	4
2208	I was told this procedure only needs to be performed once.	1.2621	0.05155	103	80	19	4
2209	We pride ourselves in our cutting-edge technology/	1.2619	0.05648	84	65	16	3
2210	Good news, bad news: the surgeon has terrible aim.	1.2619	0.06135	84	67	12	5
2211	My patients often ask me how good I am with a knife.	1.2619	0.05648	84	65	16	3
2212	You may feel a “pinch” at the beginning.	1.2619	0.06135	84	67	12	5
2213	I'm blind...I'm also not a doctor.	1.2619	0.06135	84	67	12	5
2214	But the circus life wasn't for me, so here I am."	1.2619	0.05115	84	63	20	1
2215	Nobody sees the misses.	1.2619	0.05115	84	63	20	1
2216	There's no charge for accidental vasectomies!	1.2617	0.05529	107	86	14	7
2217	I kind of fell into surgery.	1.2617	0.05367	107	85	16	6
2218	Your reflexes are delayed.	1.2614	0.05937	88	70	13	5
2219	This will test your blood pressure.	1.2614	0.04980	88	66	21	1
2220	Just think of it as an MRI ...with knives	1.2614	0.05480	88	68	17	3
2221	Ready for lucky number 13?	1.2614	0.05937	88	70	13	5
2222	The procedure is non invasive, but harrowing.	1.2614	0.05480	88	68	17	3
2223	Next time put on the johnny gown when you are told to.	1.2614	0.05937	88	70	13	5
2224	Part of our pre-op routine is a little trust-building exercise.	1.2614	0.05480	88	68	17	3
2225	You ARE cut out for this	1.2614	0.05480	88	68	17	3
2226	Mine is an alternative dermatology practice.	1.2614	0.05480	88	68	17	3
2227	You're my doppelgänger, do you really think I'd try to miss?	1.2614	0.05236	88	67	19	2
2228	The procedure has a 20% success rate.	1.2614	0.05713	88	69	15	4
2229	I'm also the house physician for Cirque du Soleil.	1.2614	0.05713	88	69	15	4
2230	For just two monthly payments of $19.99, they slice, they dice, they diagnose.	1.2614	0.05937	88	70	13	5
2231	You’ll be awake through the whole thing.	1.2614	0.05937	88	70	13	5
2232	this time, i’ll wear the blindfold.	1.2614	0.04980	88	66	21	1
2233	We treat the fringes of the body, not the whole body	1.2614	0.04980	88	66	21	1
2234	'Relax,this procedure uses a cutting edge new technology.	1.2613	0.04909	111	86	21	4
2235	Relax -- I'm even more accurate when I actually use my hands.	1.2613	0.04739	111	85	23	3
2236	Don’t move and you will be fine. See?	1.2609	0.05960	92	74	12	6
2237	Point to where you want it to hurt.	1.2609	0.05096	92	70	20	2
2238	One treatment and your tremors are gone--guaranteed!	1.2609	0.04856	92	69	22	1
2239	Seriously, I've done this operation at least a dozen times.	1.2609	0.05325	92	71	18	3
2240	My record speaks for itself.	1.2609	0.06073	69	53	14	2
2241	‘Of course, this record is not a guarantee of future performance’	1.2609	0.05325	92	71	18	3
2242	Now just a few questions about your insurance coverage.	1.2609	0.05325	92	71	18	3
2243	As an acupuncturist I’m continually honing my skills.	1.2609	0.06073	69	53	14	2
2244	With my tennis elbow, this will hurt me more than you.	1.2609	0.05325	92	71	18	3
2245	I like to loosen up before beginning. Now let’s get started on that vasectomy.	1.2609	0.04797	115	89	22	4
2246	Great job, we’re now halfway through the identical twins skills evaluation…now it’s my turn to throw.	1.2609	0.05325	92	71	18	3
2247	It's just a hobby of mine...	1.2609	0.05096	92	70	20	2
2248	I like to operate outside of the lines	1.2609	0.05325	92	71	18	3
2249	Think of it like a cop's firing range,only for Doctors!	1.2609	0.05096	92	70	20	2
2250	They call me "The Blade"	1.2609	0.05756	92	73	14	5
2251	It’s a 4-out-of-5 doctors thing.	1.2609	0.05096	92	70	20	2
2252	We've eliminated nearly everything. One more and I think we'll hit the problem.	1.2605	0.04539	119	91	25	3
2253	Feel lucky?	1.2604	0.04966	96	73	21	2
2254	I'll call in a pharmaceutical salesperson and you can try it yourself.	1.2604	0.04966	96	73	21	2
2255	Of course, with a real patient, we're more accurate.	1.2604	0.05589	96	76	15	5
2256	That should solve your constipation problem.	1.2604	0.04966	96	73	21	2
2257	It’s more like an open MRI.	1.2604	0.05182	96	74	19	3
2258	My surgical technique is completely hands-off	1.2604	0.05589	96	76	15	5
2259	I'LL GO FOR THE PROSTATE TEST	1.2604	0.05589	96	76	15	5
2260	Well, you asked for the cheapest possible vasectomy.	1.2604	0.05389	96	75	17	4
2261	My wart removal process is almost foolproof...	1.2604	0.05182	96	74	19	3
2262	See, 100% success rate. Exactly as advertised!	1.2604	0.05182	96	74	19	3
2263	Don't worry, just a routine check.	1.2604	0.05389	96	75	17	4
2264	And this is from my early research into knifeless surgery.	1.2600	0.05435	100	79	16	5
2265	Would you prefer precision or accuracy?	1.2600	0.05435	100	79	16	5
2266	We will start as soon as my assistant brings the saw from the box.	1.2600	0.05049	100	77	20	3
2267	Is it a hit or miss opportunity?	1.2600	0.05245	100	78	18	4
2268	Oh, don't mind that; I like to practice between surgeries.	1.2600	0.05049	100	77	20	3
2269	After covid, the Patellar knee jerk test just wasn’t doing it for me anymore. You passed, btw.	1.2600	0.05245	100	78	18	4
2270	I know what you're thinking, but don't worry--it doesn't spin.	1.2600	0.05435	100	79	16	5
2271	Told you you have nothing to worry about.	1.2600	0.04845	100	76	22	2
2272	Healthcare: hit or miss.	1.2600	0.05245	100	78	18	4
2273	Mr. McCarthy, it’s time for vote no. 13.	1.2600	0.05617	100	80	14	6
2274	We do it standing up now because so many people are afraid of going “under” the knife.	1.2600	0.05966	100	82	10	8
2275	If survivorship bias has taught me nothing, this will be a perfectly safe procedure	1.2600	0.04632	100	75	24	1
2276	We call it "aura acupuncture".	1.2600	0.05245	100	78	18	4
2277	No, those are from the chief resident. I'm just an intern.	1.2597	0.05963	77	60	14	3
2278	There are several next steps in your training, including scalpels and patients	1.2597	0.05359	77	58	18	1
2279	Your profile seems to be an ideal fit for surgery.	1.2597	0.05359	77	58	18	1
2280	Rest assured, Mr. Jones, this procedure is on the cutting edge of medical technology.	1.2597	0.05669	77	59	16	2
2281	Your Cut Scan results are in	1.2597	0.06511	77	62	10	5
2282	It's our new constipation cure. It scares the shit out of you.	1.2596	0.05633	104	84	13	7
2283	I always practice before vasectomies.	1.2596	0.05112	104	81	19	4
2284	Okay, now let’s pinpoint where it really hurts.	1.2596	0.04926	104	80	21	3
2285	I'd say your odds of getting cancer are zero.	1.2595	0.04672	131	103	22	6
2286	I put together this brief outline of your medical history.	1.2593	0.05493	81	62	17	2
2287	That’s and outline of my last patient. The police just sent it over.	1.2593	0.05483	108	87	14	7
2288	And for my next affordable care act, I will attempt to saw you in half.	1.2593	0.05768	81	63	15	3
2289	See, I have done this procedure before.	1.2593	0.04987	108	84	20	4
2290	I only wanted a close shave!!!	1.2593	0.05768	81	63	15	3
2291	Last chance to reconsider this vasectomy.	1.2593	0.04987	108	84	20	4
2292	I’m still pretty bad with a knife, but I’m feeling really positive about your upcoming vasectomy chances.	1.2593	0.04810	108	83	22	3
2293	Ok now stand against the board with your shoes two feet apart.	1.2593	0.04810	108	83	22	3
2294	To warm up...I put an apple on your head	1.2593	0.05158	108	85	18	5
2295	Looks like you didn’t make the cut	1.2593	0.05323	108	86	16	6
2296	Ready for number 13?	1.2593	0.06029	81	64	13	4
2297	I'd say you have a one in thirteen chance of surviving.	1.2593	0.04810	108	83	22	3
2298	Doctor: You see, I told you I wasn’t a backstabber.	1.2593	0.04987	108	84	20	4
2299	Look at my wall of knives with the silhouette of a man drawn on it. Notice there are no knife hole in the silhouette. I’m a doctor.	1.2589	0.05190	112	89	17	6
2300	Insurance companies still hesitate in full-coverage, even after my medical school residency at the Big Top	1.2589	0.05343	112	90	15	7
2301	See? There's nothing to worry about.	1.2588	0.05063	85	64	20	1
2302	This is a new minimally invasive procedure for colon cleansing.	1.2588	0.05835	85	67	14	4
2303	Ready for surgery?	1.2588	0.05589	85	66	16	3
2304	Don't worry, during the actual surgery I'll hit the mark.	1.2588	0.05589	85	66	16	3
2305	I usually try to keep my medical practice separate from my magic act, but since you asked.	1.2588	0.05589	85	66	16	3
2306	The treatment's effective, but it has some risks.	1.2588	0.05333	85	65	18	2
2307	Trust me. I’ve done it many, many, many times.	1.2588	0.05333	85	65	18	2
2308	You should see how we have to do it for folks with Medicare	1.2588	0.06070	85	68	12	5
2309	The advantage to this procedure is that none of our patients have ever reported a recurrence.	1.2586	0.04916	116	91	20	5
2310	Let's build up your confidence before the surgery!	1.2586	0.05212	116	93	16	7
2311	To be fair, I was supposed to miss with those knives. And I did. So you can naturally assume that I have decent aim with knives.	1.2584	0.05426	89	69	17	3
2312	Looks like your force field's still working.	1.2584	0.05656	89	70	15	4
2313	My Medical Illustrator Courtney Brendal will draw a spleen on the wall and then we can get on with the operation.	1.2584	0.05426	89	69	17	3
2314	We didn’t get all of it…	1.2584	0.05656	89	70	15	4
2315	It's more intense than acupuncture.	1.2584	0.05426	89	69	17	3
2316	It's genius really... Wherever it hits you, that's where you're sick.	1.2584	0.05656	89	70	15	4
2317	Don't worry. This is science. See the white coat?	1.2584	0.05426	89	69	17	3
2318	Don't worry. I have lucky #13 in my hand.	1.2584	0.05426	89	69	17	3
2319	I also operate while on a unicycle.	1.2584	0.04667	89	66	23	0
2320	Cutting edge surgery	1.2584	0.05878	89	71	13	5
2321	We've determined it's NOT a nerve problem.	1.2584	0.05426	89	69	17	3
2322	Or would you rather just cut out the snacks??	1.2584	0.05426	89	69	17	3
2323	My residency was in acupuncture.	1.2584	0.06297	89	73	9	7
2324	I take the Do No Harm oath seriously.	1.2584	0.05426	89	69	17	3
2325	Well that’s one way to get rid of hiccups.	1.2584	0.05185	89	68	19	2
2326	-or you can decide to have surgery?	1.2581	0.05275	93	72	18	3
2327	As you can see,my eye-hand coordination is nearly perfect.	1.2581	0.05275	93	72	18	3
2328	Most HMOs cover this	1.2581	0.05492	93	73	16	4
2329	Don’t worry, throwing knives aren’t my specialty	1.2581	0.05275	93	72	18	3
2330	Trust me, I'm no backstabber.	1.2581	0.05701	93	74	14	5
2331	This scan is hit or miss.	1.2581	0.05275	93	72	18	3
2332	We have a success rate of about 12 out of 13 with this procedure.	1.2581	0.05701	93	74	14	5
2333	Is this non invasive surgery doc?	1.2581	0.05275	93	72	18	3
2334	It's how I put myself through Med School	1.2581	0.05275	93	72	18	3
2335	Either way,	1.2581	0.05492	93	73	16	4
2336	They all had vision problems. I'm sure you won't miss!	1.2581	0.05275	93	72	18	3
2337	Doctor, what about between the legs	1.2581	0.05701	93	74	14	5
2338	I was a circus school dropout. So I settled for a medical degree.	1.2581	0.04811	93	70	22	1
2339	Before I operate I always like to test out my precision skills	1.2577	0.05135	97	75	19	3
2340	Well, time goes on. We are now switching to the double-blind protocol.	1.2577	0.04922	97	74	21	2
2341	First we practice, then we operate.	1.2577	0.05340	97	76	17	4
2342	Not to worry. I'm much better at this when you're lying down.	1.2577	0.05340	97	76	17	4
2343	Is this your first vasectomy?	1.2577	0.05538	97	77	15	5
2344	That does it for my warm-ups. Let's head over for your surgery.	1.2577	0.04464	97	72	25	0
2345	It seems your Aura is the problem	1.2577	0.05135	97	75	19	3
2346	This is minimally invasive...	1.2577	0.04922	97	74	21	2
2347	This time, let's try it with a blindfold.	1.2577	0.04922	97	74	21	2
2348	As surgical procedures go, it's hit or miss.	1.2574	0.05567	101	81	14	6
2349	Don't fret. Your odds of survival are better here.	1.2574	0.05387	101	80	16	5
2350	Everything looks good. You don’t need to go under the knife.	1.2574	0.04804	101	77	22	2
2351	Eleven out of twelve ain't bad.	1.2574	0.05387	101	80	16	5
2352	Did you sign the surgery consent form?	1.2571	0.04494	105	79	25	1
2353	Coming from a circus family, I like to keep in practice, now about your surgery...	1.2571	0.05069	105	82	19	4
2354	Anybody ever told you that you may not be cut out to be an assassin?	1.2571	0.05585	105	85	13	7
2355	We’re trying to put some fun into triage.	1.2571	0.05246	105	83	17	5
2356	Okay, now this one will test if you understand survivorship bias.	1.2571	0.05418	105	84	15	6
2357	Let's hope I get it right this time!	1.2571	0.05246	105	83	17	5
2358	I think we should get a professional to do this, doc.	1.2571	0.05069	105	82	19	4
2359	It is an HMO billing app	1.2571	0.04885	105	81	21	3
2360	It’s a relatively simple surgery as you can see.	1.2571	0.05069	105	82	19	4
2361	This is part of our new colonoscopy prep	1.2571	0.05069	105	82	19	4
2362	First we eliminate the obvious.	1.2569	0.04947	109	85	20	4
2363	A good scalpel is so hard to find.	1.2569	0.04772	109	84	22	3
2364	As you can see, the procedure is completely safe.	1.2568	0.05792	74	57	15	2
2365	This time, for sure...	1.2568	0.05463	74	56	17	1
2366	Not a very good marksman	1.2568	0.05463	74	56	17	1
2367	Are you familiar with Ed Ames?	1.2566	0.04666	113	87	23	3
2368	I'll see you next month for the archery tests.	1.2566	0.04666	113	87	23	3
2369	Whadda say twin brother; one more for good luck?	1.2564	0.05605	78	60	16	2
2370	Well, now we know what it's not.	1.2564	0.05605	78	60	16	2
2371	I was in the circus before I became a surgeon.	1.2564	0.05895	78	61	14	3
2372	The vasectomy is on the house	1.2564	0.05895	78	61	14	3
2373	I’ve always been good with a knife, so I sez, why not try my hand at surgery?	1.2564	0.04976	78	58	20	0
2374	My aim is improving.	1.2561	0.05151	82	62	19	1
2375	When my referring physician said you had great eye-hand coordination, I was impressed. I wasn't particularly looking for a surgeon who is a magician, though.	1.2561	0.05964	82	65	13	4
2376	I like to reassure my patients that I have a zero percent success rate.	1.2561	0.05964	82	65	13	4
2377	Whaddya say, double or nothing?	1.2561	0.05151	82	62	19	1
2378	Now that you trust my aim let’s get on with the vasectomy shall we?	1.2561	0.05964	82	65	13	4
2379	It simulates your current lifestyle choices.	1.2561	0.05964	82	65	13	4
2380	Hospitals are trying to add some fun back to being a patient.	1.2561	0.05964	82	65	13	4
2381	Your insurance pays for me to have BOTH eyes open!	1.2561	0.05435	82	63	17	2
2382	My fellowship was at Cirque du Soleil	1.2561	0.05435	82	63	17	2
2383	I'm afraid you're going to have to go under the knife.	1.2558	0.05013	86	65	20	1
2384	It's a bit controversial, but this new laxative treatment will clear you right up.	1.2558	0.05532	86	67	16	3
2385	So as you can see,our new AI knife-throwing computer is 100 safe.	1.2558	0.05279	86	66	18	2
2386	Relax	1.2558	0.05774	86	68	14	4
2387	sometimes i want to play darts when im in surgery so im combining them	1.2558	0.05532	86	67	16	3
2388	Relax, you're covered by your health insurance.	1.2556	0.05135	90	69	19	2
2389	If I were you, I’d eat more apples	1.2556	0.05373	90	70	17	3
2390	A little something I like to do before making that first incision.	1.2556	0.05135	90	69	19	2
2391	Now I’ll show you where I’m going in for your operation.	1.2556	0.05373	90	70	17	3
2392	Not to worry I only use sterilized knives	1.2556	0.05600	90	71	15	4
2393	Before we begin we will need you to sign our consent form.	1.2556	0.05600	90	71	15	4
2394	I'm a professional knife thrower. I only do surgeries in my spare time.	1.2556	0.05135	90	69	19	2
2395	Don’t worry, this is covered by your insurance.	1.2556	0.04886	90	68	21	1
2396	Congratulations. Your auraectomy was a success."	1.2556	0.05135	90	69	19	2
2397	This is how I spend my spare time.	1.2556	0.05819	90	72	13	5
2398	Looks like your condition is inoperable.	1.2556	0.05373	90	70	17	3
2399	We’re calling it “American Acupuncture	1.2556	0.06233	90	74	9	7
2400	If symptoms persist come back in four to six weeks.	1.2556	0.05819	90	72	13	5
2401	Before we continue with our examination, is your health insurance paid up?	1.2553	0.04768	94	71	22	1
2402	So I was thinking, why not put a little excitement in the ole vasectomy?	1.2553	0.05226	94	73	18	3
2403	There's nothing to worry about. If I hit you, I simply wave the copay.	1.2553	0.05226	94	73	18	3
2404	You'll feel a pinch.	1.2553	0.05440	94	74	16	4
2405	Your surgeon is Armenian	1.2553	0.05440	94	74	16	4
2406	No worries.	1.2553	0.05226	94	73	18	3
2407	well, i think we've established that I'm consistent with my knife work	1.2553	0.05002	94	72	20	2
2408	Well, I can say no patient has ever complained about a miss.	1.2553	0.05647	94	75	14	5
2409	Practice makes perfect, wouldn't you agree?	1.2553	0.05440	94	74	16	4
2410	Definitely you are not yet in a perfect shape.	1.2553	0.05440	94	74	16	4
2411	Stand tall and be the brave man that you want to be	1.2553	0.04768	94	71	22	1
2412	That was the magician, I'm your cardiologist	1.2553	0.05647	94	75	14	5
2413	My technique is cutting edge.	1.2553	0.05226	94	73	18	3
2414	The test result indicates that the vaccine has not made you magnetic	1.2553	0.05846	94	76	12	6
2415	this is just the warmup	1.2553	0.05226	94	73	18	3
2416	This is how i'm not gonna do it!	1.2553	0.05647	94	75	14	5
2417	Don’t worry. I almost always miss.	1.2553	0.05440	94	74	16	4
2418	I won "Doctors Got Talent" last year.	1.2551	0.04878	98	75	21	2
2419	Well, I think we've narrowed it down...	1.2551	0.05676	98	79	13	6
2420	‘You stand there and now it’s the medical students turn’	1.2551	0.05292	98	77	17	4
2421	I just scared whatever was wrong out of the last patient.	1.2551	0.04658	98	74	23	1
2422	Don't play with knives," mom always said. Well, look at me now	1.2551	0.05858	98	80	11	7
2423	In a minute, I’m about to feel some pressure.	1.2551	0.05089	98	76	19	3
2424	Yeah yeah acupuncture that's what this is...	1.2551	0.05089	98	76	19	3
2425	Don't worry, you'll be lying down for the real surgery.	1.2551	0.05089	98	76	19	3
2426	My nurse usually does this, but we’ve had some staffing shortages.	1.2551	0.05292	98	77	17	4
2427	Any doctor can just cut you open...	1.2551	0.05089	98	76	19	3
2428	Ok - now it’s my turn.	1.2551	0.05089	98	76	19	3
2429	As a surgeon, it's important for me to keep up with my knife skills.	1.2551	0.04426	98	73	25	0
2430	We use cutting edge technology	1.2551	0.04878	98	75	21	2
2431	You'll be laying down when we do yours.	1.2551	0.05292	98	77	17	4
2432	This is our best way to test if you are ready to go under the knife	1.2551	0.05089	98	76	19	3
2433	I used to perform in the circus. Maybe you’ve seen me?	1.2551	0.05487	98	78	15	5
2434	And they said my carnival training won’t translate to delicate surgery. But let’s get in there and prove them all wrong!	1.2551	0.05487	98	78	15	5
2435	I also perform brises	1.2549	0.04763	102	78	22	2
2436	After that, this should be a piece of cake.	1.2549	0.04763	102	78	22	2
2437	The dartboard's just for the diagnosis	1.2549	0.04763	102	78	22	2
2438	It's the "Surgeon 1.01"	1.2549	0.04963	102	79	20	3
2439	My method reveals a great deal more than standard imaging..	1.2549	0.04555	102	77	24	1
2440	I quite disagree. There's nothing hit and miss about it at all.	1.2549	0.04963	102	79	20	3
2441	Don’t worry. I’ve done thousands of these operations without losing a patient.	1.2549	0.04555	102	77	24	1
2442	Your insurance company only covers accuracy, not precision.	1.2549	0.04963	102	79	20	3
2443	This will be interesting. I've never thrown knives at my doppelganger. Also did I mention I hate myself?	1.2549	0.05155	102	80	18	4
2444	Don't be fooled by those misses . . .	1.2547	0.05372	106	85	15	6
2445	Get in there. I call it the Baker’s Dozen.	1.2547	0.04845	106	82	21	3
2446	Wait till you see what I can do inside the body!	1.2547	0.05697	106	87	11	8
2447	We nearly nailed you in a premature coffin.	1.2545	0.04907	110	86	20	4
2448	Though adult circumcisions are trickier, as you can see I’ve been practicing all day	1.2545	0.04907	110	86	20	4
2449	You think that's good? Wait till you see where I put this last one.	1.2544	0.04631	114	88	23	3
2450	Do not worry. You will be under anesthesia during the whole time.	1.2544	0.05259	114	92	15	7
2451	You’re gonna feel a little pinch	1.2544	0.05259	114	92	15	7
2452	It's a Banksy.	1.2541	0.04442	122	94	25	3
2453	Congratulations! You will be starting in the sequel of “Knives Out”	1.2535	0.06254	71	56	12	3
2454	Say 'Ah!'	1.2533	0.05724	75	58	15	2
2455	It's really just a process of elimination.	1.2533	0.05400	75	57	17	1
2456	This is our alternative to hospital insurance.	1.2533	0.06601	75	61	9	5
2457	Our aptitude test shows that you could have a great future in the circus, but you'd be a lousy serial killer.	1.2533	0.06031	75	59	13	3
2458	We try and pinpoint the lesion	1.2533	0.05400	75	57	17	1
2459	As you can see Mr. Morton, you’ll be absolutely fine. As long as you’re exactly the right size and shape.	1.2533	0.06031	75	59	13	3
2460	This treatment has not only straightened out people's back problems but it has fixed their posture as well.	1.2532	0.05829	79	62	14	3
2461	Unfortunately, this is the only treatment covered by your insurance.	1.2532	0.06101	79	63	12	4
2462	This is just a rudimentary outline of your diagnosis. I'd like to hone in on some inner areas.	1.2530	0.06143	83	67	11	5
2463	The good news is this time we won't be going in blind.	1.2530	0.05378	83	64	17	2
2464	So, I told you it was safe, no?	1.2530	0.05645	83	65	15	3
2465	David, I thought the first step should be some exploratory surgery.	1.2530	0.05098	83	63	19	1
2466	You will be a cut above the rest.	1.2530	0.06143	83	67	11	5
2467	Relax. It’s a twin thing.	1.2530	0.05378	83	64	17	2
2468	Ready to go under the knife?	1.2530	0.05098	83	63	19	1
2469	Way, way more fun than an MRI.	1.2530	0.05899	83	66	13	4
2470	Can you guess where this one goes?	1.2529	0.05476	87	68	16	3
2471	Yes, I know it's prostate surgery.	1.2529	0.04964	87	66	20	1
2472	You did well in your pre-surgery procedure.	1.2529	0.05476	87	68	16	3
2473	This is not my first rodeo.	1.2529	0.05944	87	70	12	5
2474	I'm gonna kill you, John.	1.2529	0.05944	87	70	12	5
2475	It seems to alleviate constipation in my patients	1.2529	0.05226	87	67	18	2
2476	Let's wait until my hiccups go away.	1.2529	0.04687	87	65	22	0
2477	And finally, this is what your insurance covers.	1.2529	0.05226	87	67	18	2
2478	It’s a death defying treatment	1.2529	0.05476	87	68	16	3
2479	Those are all the spots where we won’t cut.	1.2529	0.05476	87	68	16	3
2480	Unless, of course, it’s survivor bias.	1.2529	0.05715	87	69	14	4
2481	It's not really a test for you as much as it is for my eyesight.	1.2529	0.05476	87	68	16	3
2482	Once we get this darn package open, we’ll have a much better outfit for you to wear for surgery.	1.2529	0.05715	87	69	14	4
2483	You decide, do you want a physician or a magician?	1.2529	0.05715	87	69	14	4
2484	The only real risk is the bill.	1.2529	0.05226	87	67	18	2
2485	You're my first hernia	1.2527	0.05086	91	70	19	2
2486	The surgery has a 90% success rate. Ready?	1.2527	0.05086	91	70	19	2
2487	This is one diagnostic technique we save for last.	1.2527	0.05321	91	71	17	3
2488	The receptionist did collect your copay already, right?	1.2527	0.05546	91	72	15	4
2489	See it is possible not to hit you.	1.2527	0.05321	91	71	17	3
2490	Ever played Operation?	1.2527	0.05086	91	70	19	2
2491	Before we go ahead, our lawyer needs to know your average income for the past five years.	1.2527	0.05086	91	70	19	2
2492	Now say AAAAHH!	1.2527	0.05321	91	71	17	3
2493	As you can see, I don't have much experience with treating prostrate cancer.	1.2527	0.05546	91	72	15	4
2494	The odds, Harrison, are not in your favor.	1.2527	0.05970	91	74	11	6
2495	Breaking News: Local surgeon stabs distracted identical twin patient in the back.	1.2527	0.05086	91	70	19	2
2496	See, I told you only 1% of thrown knives are fatal - all of these were completely harmless!	1.2527	0.05086	91	70	19	2
2497	The pre-op prep is key.	1.2526	0.05593	95	76	14	5
2498	I call it... the Caesarean	1.2526	0.05593	95	76	14	5
2499	This is your last chance to show me you're able to be a surgeon.	1.2526	0.05177	95	74	18	3
2500	Let’s try that vasectomy one more time.	1.2526	0.05177	95	74	18	3
2501	This is what I've outlined for your surgery.	1.2526	0.05177	95	74	18	3
2502	I should warn you appendectomies can be hit or miss.	1.2526	0.05389	95	75	16	4
2503	Surgery is stressful for us too. Waiting for you to wake up, we stood you up and unwound with an amusing little game.	1.2526	0.06165	95	79	8	8
2504	I did my residency through Ringling Brothers.	1.2526	0.05177	95	74	18	3
2505	The manufacturer warns of a very slight risk of impalement.	1.2526	0.05177	95	74	18	3
2506	You were never in any real danger.	1.2526	0.05593	95	76	14	5
2507	It was an off day.	1.2526	0.04956	95	73	20	2
2508	Sure, juggling knives is dangerous, but it was the MRI that killed him.	1.2526	0.04956	95	73	20	2
2509	I think we’ve narrowed the options down to one or two.	1.2525	0.04836	99	76	21	2
2510	I suggest laser surgery. Say, have you ever watched "Goldfinger?"	1.2525	0.05245	99	78	17	4
2511	Makes you forget all about that gall bladder,eh?	1.2525	0.05438	99	79	15	5
2512	Doctor, I can tell you're cutting-edge in your field.	1.2525	0.05438	99	79	15	5
2513	The x-ray will help me zero in.	1.2525	0.05044	99	77	19	3
2514	oh yes, quite necessary	1.2525	0.05245	99	78	17	4
2515	I used to work in the circus before I became a surgeon.	1.2524	0.04921	103	80	20	3
2516	Well, I don't see any problems here, so we'll have to do a complete blood panel, a hearing test, a stress test, a chest X-ray, a biopsy, an EKG, an ECG, a CAT scan, and an MRI. Then we'll try again with bigger knives.	1.2524	0.04921	103	80	20	3
2517	steady as a rock and you?	1.2523	0.04805	107	83	21	3
2518	Thanks for coming in. We'll have your results in a day or two.	1.2523	0.04985	107	84	19	4
2519	Don’t worry, this is cutting-edge technology.	1.2523	0.04868	111	87	20	4
2520	The last patient walked away, with my knives.	1.2523	0.04519	111	85	24	2
2521	I think we're getting closer to diagnosing your problem.	1.2523	0.05194	111	89	16	6
2522	They named white coat hypertension after me!	1.2523	0.05349	111	90	14	7
2523	Exposure therapy for your aichmophobia	1.2523	0.04868	111	87	20	4
2524	How about if we just clone you?	1.2522	0.04916	115	91	19	5
2525	You’ll feel a little pinch on this last one.	1.2500	0.05492	92	73	15	4
2526	So we leave nothing to chance, let's decide now who gets to wear the blindfold.	1.2500	0.05837	84	67	13	4
2527	I’m much better with a knife if you would just lie down and relax.	1.2500	0.05764	80	63	14	3
2528	I like to keep things light with a carnival atmosphere.	1.2500	0.06033	80	64	12	4
2529	I use this if acupuncture doesn’t do the trick.	1.2500	0.04684	104	80	22	2
2530	We have a 95 percent recovery rate.	1.2500	0.04795	92	70	21	1
2531	See, I’ve got a perfect record.	1.2500	0.04879	104	81	20	3
2532	Let's try for a baker's dozen.	1.2500	0.05657	88	70	14	4
2533	Yes, it was buried among the forms you signed.	1.2500	0.06289	80	65	10	5
2534	You think this is bad? If you weren’t insured I woulda done it after my lunchtime bourbon.	1.2500	0.05186	80	61	18	1
2535	It's acupuncture -- Jersey style.	1.2500	0.05421	88	69	16	3
2536	This procedure for your anxiety is really hit or miss.	1.2500	0.05130	96	75	18	3
2537	Wish I were that skillful with the scalpel”	1.2500	0.05421	88	69	16	3
2538	Of course, during the actual procedure, we'll strap you to a rotating target.	1.2500	0.05837	84	67	13	4
2539	This new constipation cure is truly cutting edge!	1.2500	0.06176	72	57	12	3
2540	So let me ask you this.....are you feeling lucky?	1.2500	0.05175	88	68	18	2
2541	It's a bit like painting-by-numbers... but different !	1.2500	0.05322	84	65	17	2
2542	Best laxative ever. No drugs. Fast acting.	1.2500	0.05883	88	71	12	5
2543	Im better blindfolded.	1.2500	0.06077	84	68	11	5
2544	See? You won't feel a thing...	1.2500	0.06176	72	57	12	3
2545	Harry I’m your twin brother, trust me	1.2500	0.05175	88	68	18	2
2546	Do I have a choice?	1.2500	0.05764	80	63	14	3
2547	And this is where our surgeons receive their training, so as you can see they are quite skilled."	1.2500	0.05000	76	57	19	0
2548	I can get your aura back in shape in no time!	1.2500	0.05198	100	79	17	4
2549	It seems your organs are all working properly.	1.2500	0.05186	80	61	18	1
2550	Pick a knife, any knife.	1.2500	0.05658	76	59	15	2
2551	This could make it a Baker's Dozen. Care to try again?	1.2500	0.05851	72	56	14	2
2552	Well, like I said earlier, diagnosis is a tricky business.	1.2500	0.05585	84	66	15	3
2553	As you can see, he usually misses.	1.2500	0.05492	92	73	15	4
2554	And as an incentive to stick with your weight-loss program . . .	1.2500	0.05690	68	52	15	1
2555	We find that knife-throwing accidents are more likely to be covered by insurance.	1.2500	0.05038	92	71	19	2
2556	Doc, is this what you mean by cutting-edge treatment?	1.2500	0.04916	88	67	20	1
2557	How can you trust me with this and not your heart surgery?!?	1.2500	0.05038	92	71	19	2
2558	The last guy went 12 for 13.	1.2500	0.05175	88	68	18	2
2559	Now that we have your patient profile are you ready for the examination?	1.2500	0.05198	100	79	17	4
2560	So we've narrowed it down to the next surgery being within the outlined area.	1.2500	0.04911	96	74	20	2
2561	The pathologist has concluded that your problem is not cardiological.	1.2500	0.05764	80	63	14	3
2562	the scan of course will tell us more	1.2500	0.05322	84	65	17	2
2563	You've got insurance right?	1.2500	0.06077	84	68	11	5
2564	See, I don't even aim for the nads.	1.2500	0.05270	92	72	17	3
2565	Are you game for one more?	1.2500	0.05492	92	73	15	4
2566	I've learned a lot about heart surgery since medical school.	1.2500	0.04539	92	69	23	0
2567	Trust me, I know right where it is. Just hold still.	1.2500	0.05585	84	66	15	3
2568	The appendectomy was not a success.	1.2500	0.04994	112	89	18	5
2569	This test is to establish that a knife wound is not your main problem.	1.2500	0.05764	80	63	14	3
2570	First do no harm” is my mantra	1.2500	0.06176	72	57	12	3
2571	I learned a thing or two in culinary school.	1.2500	0.05322	84	65	17	2
2572	Everyone described an “ out of body experience”.	1.2500	0.05837	84	67	13	4
2573	Yes, we will hire you to outline the body at the crime scene	1.2500	0.05389	100	80	15	5
2574	... "Of course, superficial control is always adhered to."	1.2500	0.05046	84	64	19	1
2575	As you can see, these knives were thrown with surgical precision	1.2500	0.05705	92	74	13	5
2576	I’m not quite there yet as a surgeon, but I’m getting closer.	1.2500	0.05322	84	65	17	2
2577	It's the bleeding edge in imaging technology.	1.2500	0.05492	92	73	15	4
2578	It was a summer job	1.2500	0.05658	76	59	15	2
2579	That's a dozen misses, son. You'll have to sharpen your game or you will never get out of here.	1.2500	0.05038	92	71	19	2
2580	Sometimes the OR is a real circus so I've been practicing	1.2500	0.05186	80	61	18	1
2581	I specialize in aura plastic surgery.	1.2500	0.05883	88	71	12	5
2582	This thermal seeking blade will determine where the cancer cells are located.	1.2500	0.05198	100	79	17	4
2583	Jeremy, are you sure there’s nothing else you want to disclose in our session?	1.2500	0.05339	96	76	16	4
2584	We had to revert to some medieval methods with our MRI machine in the shop	1.2500	0.05705	92	74	13	5
2585	Gort. Klatu berrada nicto. Klatu. Berrada. Nicto.	1.2500	0.05837	84	67	13	4
2586	I know exactly where your heart is, and will avoid it at all costs.	1.2500	0.05322	84	65	17	2
2587	Before we get started, would you like a photo-op for your social media?	1.2500	0.06248	76	61	11	4
2588	ok… now we check your prostate	1.2500	0.05421	88	69	16	3
2589	Your insurance denied our request to use fluoroscopic guidance, so there’s no other option	1.2500	0.05585	84	66	15	3
2590	I’ve been practicing for months.	1.2500	0.05067	104	82	18	4
2591	And for my final trick, I’ll make you appendix disappear	1.2500	0.05421	88	69	16	3
2592	It’ll be an epic BRIS	1.2500	0.05541	96	77	14	5
2593	It’s amputative elective surgery for influencers. Wildly ineffective, horrifically entertaining.	1.2500	0.06749	68	55	9	4
2594	I swear your hiccups will be gone in less than 2 minutes.	1.2500	0.06033	80	64	12	4
2595	I'd offer protective gear, but you can't afford it.	1.2500	0.06063	68	53	13	2
2596	Your existential surgery was a success.	1.2500	0.05339	76	58	17	1
2597	Yes, I did attend clown college.	1.2500	0.04795	92	70	21	1
2598	for soul’s acupuncture we use the old fashioned style!	1.2500	0.05764	80	63	14	3
2599	The last patient did very well.	1.2500	0.05322	84	65	17	2
2600	The board wants us to show off our excellent track record.	1.2478	0.04624	113	88	22	3
2601	You might feel a little prick	1.2476	0.05203	105	84	16	5
2602	Great spacing,am I right?	1.2476	0.05024	105	83	18	4
2603	Remember, medicine is a practice.	1.2476	0.04838	105	82	20	3
2604	Just stay within the lines and you will be okay.	1.2475	0.04956	101	79	19	3
2605	The way we are dressed is not indicative of my success rate of the 13th throw.	1.2475	0.04956	101	79	19	3
2606	It's what we call psychic surgery.	1.2475	0.05152	101	80	17	4
2607	No, I never feel a need to ask about your insurance status.	1.2475	0.05152	101	80	17	4
2608	Seems like the anti-tremor medication is working.	1.2475	0.04752	101	78	21	2
2609	Who says laparoscopic surgery can't be fun?	1.2474	0.05290	97	77	16	4
2610	It's tried and true therapy. Never fails to focus the mind.	1.2474	0.05290	97	77	16	4
2611	Of course, you’ll be asleep whilst all this happens.	1.2474	0.05490	97	78	14	5
2612	We’ll, that takes care of the pre-op	1.2474	0.05682	97	79	12	6
2613	I’m not much of a surgeon, but I’m a hell of a knife thrower.	1.2474	0.05490	97	78	14	5
2614	Now, regarding your surgery, I'll get right to the point.	1.2473	0.05220	93	73	17	3
2615	Graduated a D+, why?	1.2473	0.05439	93	74	15	4
2616	Your co-pay is $10.	1.2473	0.04991	93	72	19	2
2617	Think about it this way... There's no co-pay.	1.2473	0.05220	93	73	17	3
2618	OK, we've eliminated some hypotheses. Now we zero in.	1.2473	0.04751	93	71	21	1
2619	The Speaker of the House is yours	1.2473	0.05220	93	73	17	3
2620	This should cure your fear of needles.	1.2472	0.05124	89	69	18	2
2621	Now the next one's a bit tricky.	1.2472	0.05367	89	70	16	3
2622	I learned what NOT to do from watching a Johnny Carson rerun.	1.2472	0.05367	89	70	16	3
2623	It's how I confirm I'm sober enough to do the tricky stuff.	1.2472	0.05124	89	69	18	2
2624	But remember, the average incision is only skin deep	1.2472	0.05124	89	69	18	2
2625	First, the good news: We've hit on no major problems. The bad news is we intend to keep trying	1.2472	0.05367	89	70	16	3
2626	Yes, all of my clinical rotations in med school were via Zoom due to Covid, but not to worry…I aced my exams!	1.2472	0.05600	89	71	14	4
2627	I believe it's important to establish trust with my patients before I operate.	1.2471	0.06013	85	69	11	5
2628	Now we test your ability to stand PERFECTLY STILL....	1.2471	0.05527	85	67	15	3
2629	The easy part is done.	1.2471	0.05527	85	67	15	3
2630	But there's a first time for everything.	1.2471	0.04995	85	65	19	1
2631	Please put your pants on.	1.2471	0.05268	85	66	17	2
2632	Looking at your chart, I would say surgery is not an option.	1.2471	0.05527	85	67	15	3
2633	Well, I preferred archery, but my mother wanted me to be a surgeon...	1.2471	0.05268	85	66	17	2
2634	Wait… then what did I just sign?”	1.2471	0.06013	85	69	11	5
2635	Gimme one more shot at that pesky appendix!	1.2471	0.05527	85	67	15	3
2636	I completed my residency at the Magic Castle.	1.2471	0.05527	85	67	15	3
2637	You want to repeat that about wanting a second opinion?	1.2471	0.05527	85	67	15	3
2638	Rotating tables are not covered by the bronze medical plan.	1.2471	0.04706	85	64	21	0
2639	Or would you prefer Watchful Waiting?	1.2471	0.05268	85	66	17	2
2640	It looks like your therapy sessions have been a success.	1.2471	0.05268	85	66	17	2
2641	So I said: accreditation, ashmedidation. Ringling Bros. is a fine medical school!	1.2471	0.05268	85	66	17	2
2642	So that's what I intend to do, more or less.	1.2469	0.05701	81	64	14	3
2643	It's our new cortisol stress test.	1.2469	0.05424	81	63	16	2
2644	Good news, this procedure is covered by your insurance plan.	1.2469	0.05701	81	64	14	3
2645	And I got my M.D. from Trump University.	1.2469	0.05424	81	63	16	2
2646	Yes! And that is exactly how I got started!	1.2469	0.05131	81	62	18	1
2647	I think you can guess where this last one is gonna go.	1.2469	0.05131	81	62	18	1
2648	Think of it as a stress test on steroids.	1.2469	0.05424	81	63	16	2
2649	It the very latest technique for losing that last ten pounds…	1.2469	0.05424	81	63	16	2
2650	Any more questions about my accuracy?	1.2468	0.06175	77	62	11	4
2651	you chose the budget appendectomy--results are not guaranteed	1.2468	0.05594	77	60	15	2
2652	Medical school wasn’t really my thing.	1.2468	0.05594	77	60	15	2
2653	We repeat this every week and you're guaranteed to slim down.	1.2468	0.05594	77	60	15	2
2654	I just need one more to warm up...	1.2468	0.05594	77	60	15	2
2655	Not many patients know the huge impact "I Love Lucy" had on me becoming a surgeon.	1.2468	0.05891	77	61	13	3
2656	Survives this, and you'll probably be cured.	1.2468	0.05594	77	60	15	2
2657	You see, if the procedure is successful the surgery will be non-invasive.	1.2468	0.05891	77	61	13	3
2658	I don't know if your insurance covers this procedure.	1.2466	0.05780	73	57	14	2
2659	Don't worry, we've got plenty of space available!	1.2466	0.06695	73	60	8	5
2660	See, my last patient survived	1.2466	0.05441	73	56	16	1
2661	Your chances of survival are one in thirteen.	1.2466	0.06101	73	58	12	3
2662	I'm a heart surgeon, not an optometrist	1.2466	0.05780	73	57	14	2
2663	Actually why don’t we throw medicine at the problem	1.2466	0.05441	73	56	16	1
2664	Spot the differences.	1.2466	0.06695	73	60	8	5
2665	You don’t seem convinced.	1.2464	0.06332	69	55	11	3
2666	what's to worry? You don't see any puncture marks inside the lines, do you? And it will really help you in keeping still...	1.2464	0.05986	69	54	13	2
2667	As you can see, the procedure is as painless as it is pointless.	1.2458	0.05238	118	97	13	8
2668	The last knife goes between the legs	1.2456	0.05071	114	92	16	6
2669	and as a bonus you get to keep the steak knives	1.2455	0.04690	110	86	21	3
2670	The surgery is quick and clean.	1.2455	0.04690	110	86	21	3
2671	As you can see, you're in good hands. I don't have to be board certified.	1.2455	0.04690	110	86	21	3
2672	Great. Can you actually make the incision this time though?	1.2455	0.04865	110	87	19	4
2673	Step right up to our patent pending cure for the hiccups!	1.2455	0.04509	110	85	23	2
2674	This is part of our pre-op before surgery.	1.2453	0.05159	106	85	16	5
2675	This next procedure may involve a little discomfort and/or the risk of disfigurement.	1.2453	0.04982	106	84	18	4
2676	Sure an MRI would be better, but it’s not covered by your insurance.	1.2453	0.04798	106	83	20	3
2677	Like I mentioned, it's practically an outpatient procedure.	1.2451	0.05107	102	81	17	4
2678	This is how I warm up for surgery.	1.2451	0.04712	102	79	21	2
2679	If you do everything I tell you, you won't be here long.	1.2451	0.04712	102	79	21	2
2680	See, I always get clear margins	1.2451	0.04914	102	80	19	3
2681	Does insurance cover this kind of anxiety treatment?	1.2451	0.04712	102	79	21	2
2682	As you can tell I’ve performed hundreds of these procedures without incident	1.2451	0.04712	102	79	21	2
2683	It’s frowned upon to operate on family members.	1.2451	0.04280	102	77	25	0
2684	Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?	1.2449	0.04601	98	75	22	1
2685	Your anxiety level has definitely decreased.	1.2449	0.05242	98	78	16	4
2686	My wife insisted I take up a hobby.	1.2449	0.04366	98	74	24	0
2687	Your BMI looks healthy."	1.2449	0.05439	98	79	14	5
2688	And you’re sure about the vasectomy?	1.2449	0.05242	98	78	16	4
2689	Shall we give the hypochondria test a whirl?	1.2449	0.05037	98	77	18	3
2690	in your case, I'd say the odds are about the same	1.2449	0.04824	98	76	20	2
2691	In the good news... we cured the 'existential' part, you now have simple anxiety.	1.2449	0.05037	98	77	18	3
2692	Circumcision is not an exact science.	1.2447	0.05387	94	75	15	4
2693	Rest assured your treatment will be highly targeted."	1.2447	0.04707	94	72	21	1
2694	I’ve found that patient survival rate increases dramatically when I hit the area surrounding the body, so that’s where I’ll aim.	1.2447	0.05171	94	74	17	3
2695	This always cures severe cases of hiccups.	1.2447	0.05596	94	76	13	5
2696	Just a little game my father taught me, before he passed away.	1.2447	0.05171	94	74	17	3
2697	So I missed your appendix … let’s try plan B.	1.2447	0.04944	94	73	19	2
2698	Now! Drop your pants and bend over!	1.2447	0.05171	94	74	17	3
2699	Don't worry! For your appendectomy, I'll try from closer range.	1.2447	0.05387	94	75	15	4
2700	You should see what I can do with a laser scalpel!	1.2447	0.05387	94	75	15	4
2701	our newest diagnostic technique, we call it "missing the point"	1.2447	0.05596	94	76	13	5
2702	13 is my lucky number.	1.2447	0.05171	94	74	17	3
2703	It,s good you weren’t on the Tonite Show	1.2447	0.05171	94	74	17	3
2704	Nice throws, but allow me to show you the difference between a layman and a surgeon.	1.2447	0.05171	94	74	17	3
2705	I hope you're not thinking it makes you look fat.	1.2447	0.04707	94	72	21	1
2706	You're half right! It IS called "A Knives Out Mystery", but that's Not Daniel Craig.	1.2447	0.05171	94	74	17	3
2707	Your force field was working today... I see!!	1.2447	0.05596	94	76	13	5
2708	It's the latest cutting-edge medicine.	1.2447	0.04944	94	73	19	2
2709	Of course it’s effective; patients almost never request a second session	1.2447	0.05387	94	75	15	4
2710	Let’s hope this distracts you from the fact that we look exactly alike	1.2447	0.05387	94	75	15	4
2711	So the tightrope walker says, 'Say, you know what you would be good at?'	1.2444	0.05314	90	71	16	3
2712	That's just a warmup, but we're taking acupuncture to a whole new level.	1.2444	0.05314	90	71	16	3
2713	So tell me, were you feeling tired and low energy during your treatment?	1.2444	0.05765	90	73	12	5
2714	Medicine has become a real circus	1.2444	0.05074	90	70	18	2
2715	No? Then it must have been an aura. That leaves a demon, which your insurance doesn’t cover.	1.2444	0.05978	90	74	10	6
2716	It's not just the decor I hate.	1.2444	0.05074	90	70	18	2
2717	Don't worry - your insurance will cover it.	1.2444	0.05074	90	70	18	2
2718	My residency did involve a rainbow wig,yes.	1.2444	0.05314	90	71	16	3
2719	It's my warm up for the surgery.	1.2444	0.05074	90	70	18	2
2720	Good news Carl. The insurance company agrees that we should actually cut you open.	1.2444	0.05544	90	72	14	4
2721	Funny how our folks, always praised you as the talented twin. Now, let's get to your vasectomy.	1.2444	0.05314	90	71	16	3
2722	You're scheduled for Monday, so we'll be good by then.	1.2444	0.04822	90	69	20	1
2723	Practice makes perfect." Judith Rosbe, Marion, M	1.2444	0.05765	90	73	12	5
2724	Relax. It's only a matter of life or death.	1.2444	0.05765	90	73	12	5
2725	All of your problems will soon vanish.	1.2444	0.04822	90	69	20	1
2726	It could have been worse.	1.2444	0.05314	90	71	16	3
2727	So the way this wormhole works . . .	1.2444	0.05314	90	71	16	3
2728	My oath says: "Do no harm."	1.2444	0.05544	90	72	14	4
2729	Yelp reviews? Vastly improved since my Lasik!	1.2442	0.05214	86	67	17	2
2730	Survivor bias? Never heard of it	1.2442	0.06393	86	72	7	7
2731	It's my update of the old Operation game.	1.2442	0.05470	86	68	15	3
2732	HE DIDN'T BUDGE	1.2442	0.05214	86	67	17	2
2733	What luck! I only need a vasectomy to win the free cruise.	1.2442	0.05470	86	68	15	3
2734	So how do you feel now that we're no longer Siamese twins?	1.2442	0.05715	86	69	13	4
2735	It's a real diagnostic time saver.	1.2442	0.05470	86	68	15	3
2736	The circumcision is scheduled for this Friday.	1.2442	0.04945	86	66	19	1
2737	It won't fix what ails you, but it's completely non-invasive	1.2442	0.05214	86	67	17	2
2738	Your insurance will only pay for surgery from a distance of five feet.	1.2442	0.04660	86	65	21	0
2739	Only 1 in 13 patients experience side effects.	1.2442	0.05715	86	69	13	4
2740	Looks good! You are in remission!	1.2442	0.05470	86	68	15	3
2741	Now, open wide and say "AAAAH!!!"	1.2442	0.04945	86	66	19	1
2742	Don't worry, it's just another form of acupuncture.	1.2442	0.05470	86	68	15	3
2743	The only question you need to ask yourself is 'Do I feel lucky?'''	1.2442	0.05715	86	69	13	4
2744	The operation was a success, but your aura died.	1.2442	0.04945	86	66	19	1
2745	In my off hours I work at carnivals to help pay off my medical school loans.	1.2439	0.05366	82	64	16	2
2746	We've had good results without an MRI.	1.2439	0.05366	82	64	16	2
2747	It makes your vasectomy seem less scary.	1.2439	0.05639	82	65	14	3
2748	You don’t trust your twin?	1.2439	0.05639	82	65	14	3
2749	It will hurt only if you move.	1.2439	0.05366	82	64	16	2
2750	Lucky for you it was a squid game	1.2439	0.05366	82	64	16	2
2751	My last acupuncturist was a Storm Trooper.	1.2439	0.05366	82	64	16	2
2752	As you can see, my knife skills are superb.	1.2439	0.05900	82	66	12	4
2753	This is essentially a noninvasive procedure.	1.2439	0.05366	82	64	16	2
2754	We think of it as a sort of connect-the-dots.	1.2439	0.05639	82	65	14	3
2755	So what's one more?	1.2439	0.05639	82	65	14	3
2756	Obviously, you didn’t get the point! Shall we try again?	1.2439	0.05366	82	64	16	2
2757	Well, Mr. Smith, what this is, is a tool. A tool to get through to certain patients who ignore the risks and neglect their doctor's instructions. You're not one of THOSE patients, are you Mr. Smith?"	1.2439	0.05639	82	65	14	3
2758	We're awaiting FDA approval, but if you'd like to be part of the study I could work you in.	1.2439	0.05077	82	63	18	1
2759	Relax, our Da Vinci robot never misses.	1.2439	0.05366	82	64	16	2
2760	Or we can do the prostate exam	1.2439	0.05639	82	65	14	3
2761	So you were referred to me for hernia surgery, am I right?	1.2439	0.05639	82	65	14	3
2762	We've found this easier than walking through the medical disclaimers before surgery.	1.2439	0.06150	82	67	10	5
2763	So, your vasectomy is fairly routine.	1.2439	0.05366	82	64	16	2
2764	We just want to test your coordination.	1.2439	0.05077	82	63	18	1
2765	Now do you trust going under the knife with me?"	1.2439	0.05366	82	64	16	2
2766	Yeah, appendicitis can be a real moving target	1.2439	0.05639	82	65	14	3
2767	And now for the pièce de résistance.	1.2439	0.05639	82	65	14	3
2768	This is how we decompress when patients thank God for saving them	1.2439	0.05900	82	66	12	4
2769	Once I've read your aura I'm trained to trim it from 20 paces.	1.2436	0.04892	78	59	19	0
2770	Well that's Phase 1 of my anti-anxiety cure.	1.2436	0.05531	78	61	15	2
2771	OK, let's see if that lasik surgery worked.	1.2436	0.05531	78	61	15	2
2772	For this procedure you will need to stand perfectly still for five minutes.	1.2436	0.05531	78	61	15	2
2773	We haven't lost anyone with this procedure. Yet	1.2436	0.05221	78	60	17	1
2774	If the surgery tbing doesn't work out, I have this to fall back on.	1.2436	0.05824	78	62	13	3
2775	Or, we could try the robotic surgery, instead.	1.2436	0.05824	78	62	13	3
2776	Routine pre-surgery warm-up. I’ve still got it!	1.2436	0.05531	78	61	15	2
2777	Let’s try once more.	1.2436	0.05221	78	60	17	1
2778	Guess how I worked my way through Med School?	1.2432	0.06027	74	59	12	3
2779	The circus has actually been the foundation for all of the surgeon greats.	1.2432	0.06613	74	61	8	5
2780	You'll be surprised how close it is to acupuncture.	1.2432	0.05378	74	57	16	1
2781	We'll get it all out next time.	1.2432	0.05711	74	58	14	2
2782	In my old profession this would be great work.	1.2432	0.05378	74	57	16	1
2783	The MRI is in the next room.	1.2432	0.06027	74	59	12	3
2784	See? Hardly an invasive procedure!	1.2432	0.06027	74	59	12	3
2785	As you can see, we employ the latest remote surgery techniques	1.2432	0.06027	74	59	12	3
2786	Now just relax for the final probe.	1.2432	0.05154	111	90	15	6
2787	Nearly had it	1.2432	0.05711	74	58	14	2
2788	As you can see, your appendectomy was not successful.	1.2430	0.04940	107	85	18	4
2789	I know it’s your first time, but just try giving it a stab!	1.2430	0.04569	107	83	22	2
2790	Trust me sir, it's a non-invasive procedure	1.2430	0.04569	107	83	22	2
2791	There's always some risk, but I've never lost a patient.	1.2429	0.05549	70	54	15	1
2792	Yeah, try to suck in a little.	1.2429	0.05910	70	55	13	2
2793	Now imagine what I can do with a scalpel." "Okay.	1.2429	0.05910	70	55	13	2
2794	Relax. I never hit the target.	1.2427	0.04464	103	79	23	1
2795	It looks like you dodged the bullet.	1.2427	0.04672	103	80	21	2
2796	This final toss isn't covered by your insurance.	1.2427	0.04672	103	80	21	2
2797	Now you can understand why the waiver is so complex	1.2427	0.04871	103	81	19	3
2798	it's just to eliminate any barriers to trust between us in our patient / doctor relationship.	1.2427	0.04672	103	80	21	2
2799	As you can see, we know where the tumor isn't	1.2427	0.04871	103	81	19	3
2800	My tailors chalk marks give me a better fit.	1.2424	0.04992	99	78	18	3
2801	Phase two will be Inpatient surgery.	1.2424	0.05195	99	79	16	4
2802	I've performed hundreds of these surgeries without incident.	1.2424	0.04992	99	78	18	3
2803	This procedure enhances mindfulness,	1.2424	0.04782	99	77	20	2
2804	I could never color within the lines either.	1.2424	0.04992	99	78	18	3
2805	Well, doc, I think we should go with the MRI as a first step.	1.2424	0.04561	99	76	22	1
2806	I found a great YouTube channel, so now my handicap is down to just 3 tries.	1.2424	0.05578	99	81	12	6
2807	If you don’t show me where it hurts ON THE BODY, I must defer to a psychiatrist. Or an ophthalmologist, it could go either way.	1.2424	0.05195	99	79	16	4
2808	You and I both did better this time.	1.2421	0.05122	95	75	17	3
2809	I call it Placebo Surgery.	1.2421	0.05741	95	78	11	6
2810	Strangely enough, this is actually covered by your HMO.	1.2421	0.04899	95	74	19	2
2811	Have another stab at it.	1.2421	0.04665	95	73	21	1
2812	I worked in a circus before I decided to become a surgeon.	1.2421	0.04899	95	74	19	2
2813	And this is our budget technique.	1.2421	0.05542	95	77	13	5
2814	I'm warming up for your procedure.	1.2421	0.05122	95	75	17	3
2815	Congratulations. You are eligible to join the circus.	1.2421	0.05337	95	76	15	4
2816	Who says that you can't mix your professional and personal life?	1.2421	0.04899	95	74	19	2
2817	Let’s try for lucky thirteen”	1.2421	0.05122	95	75	17	3
2818	For an extra 100 bucks we’ll spin you	1.2421	0.05337	95	76	15	4
2819	This is our portal for the uninsured.	1.2421	0.05337	95	76	15	4
2820	Patients love this therapy. Noone ever submitted a complaint.	1.2421	0.04899	95	74	19	2
2821	See you next week for your last session	1.2421	0.05933	95	79	9	7
2822	This might sting a little.	1.2418	0.04776	91	70	20	1
2823	It's my new treatment for neurological disorders, with 75% success.	1.2418	0.04776	91	70	20	1
2824	Did you ever see that old Ed Ameche piece on the Johnny Carson show?	1.2418	0.05490	91	73	14	4
2825	The first rule is, 'Do no harm.' The second is, 'Get up against the wall and we'll see if I can scare that appendix out of you.'	1.2418	0.05490	91	73	14	4
2826	Don't worry, this is a non-invasive procedure.	1.2418	0.05490	91	73	14	4
2827	« Relax,statistics don’t lie »	1.2418	0.05025	91	71	18	2
2828	Here's your last chance!	1.2418	0.05490	91	73	14	4
2829	I’ve got us booked as the opening act for next year’s medical conference.	1.2418	0.05708	91	74	12	5
2830	It's easier if you're lying down.	1.2418	0.05263	91	72	16	3
2831	This has always worked in the past. With this last one, I'm going to try something new.	1.2418	0.05025	91	71	18	2
2832	I'm sure I can get your appendix this time.	1.2418	0.05263	91	72	16	3
2833	I know that you were advised that in your current condition, the procedure would be, at best, a 'hit-or-miss' undertaking -- but as you can see, I do have extensive experience in this area."	1.2418	0.05263	91	72	16	3
2834	. Wait, what'd you mean when you said I'm going under the knife?	1.2418	0.05025	91	71	18	2
2835	I guess it's well for an acupuncture therapy	1.2418	0.04776	91	70	20	1
2836	Right this way for your pre-op.	1.2414	0.05414	87	69	15	3
2837	Is it a patient or is it cake? Only one way to find out…	1.2414	0.04895	87	67	19	1
2838	That’s my Doctor of Magic diploma.	1.2414	0.05414	87	69	15	3
2839	You made that look easy,Mr. Houdini. Now it’s my turn.	1.2414	0.05161	87	68	17	2
2840	I always miss my patients after this next exam.	1.2414	0.05414	87	69	15	3
2841	You'll feel a slight pinch at first.	1.2414	0.05161	87	68	17	2
2842	If you are still worried, I can remove your prostate with laser surgery.	1.2414	0.04992	116	94	16	6
2843	Now, I know you’ve heard of “under the knife”, but have you ever been adjacent to one?	1.2414	0.04614	87	66	21	0
2844	You’ll feel a little pinch…	1.2414	0.05161	87	68	17	2
2845	If you stand there I can pinpoint your problem	1.2414	0.05414	87	69	15	3
2846	We got bored when we had to delay elective surgeries.	1.2414	0.05414	87	69	15	3
2847	First, a little warm-up.	1.2414	0.05414	87	69	15	3
2848	Really, its cutting edge surgery.	1.2414	0.04895	87	67	19	1
2849	I have to tell you that 12 of 13 patients experience side effects,	1.2414	0.05414	87	69	15	3
2850	The last guy quit. He didn't get the point.	1.2414	0.05161	87	68	17	2
2851	Congratulations! Today is your thirteenth and final treatment for your Auraectomy!	1.2414	0.05887	87	71	11	5
2852	Everything seems to be lining up perfectly for your vasectomy Mr. Phillips.	1.2414	0.05161	87	68	17	2
2853	Congratulations Mr. Smith, your hiccups are cured.	1.2414	0.05656	87	70	13	4
2854	It didn’t use to be such a political procedure.	1.2414	0.04895	87	67	19	1
2855	Damn white men can avoid any punishment	1.2414	0.05414	87	69	15	3
2856	Ready for your vasectomy now?	1.2410	0.05579	83	66	14	3
2857	Let my aim be true	1.2410	0.05579	83	66	14	3
2858	Hence the name Operation Theater.	1.2410	0.05309	83	65	16	2
2859	You're in good hands. You see, I practice with my scalpels every day.	1.2410	0.05309	83	65	16	2
2860	Everyone needs a hobby	1.2410	0.05579	83	66	14	3
2861	You can rest assured I won't remove the wrong kidney.	1.2410	0.05024	83	64	18	1
2862	Don’t worry I was just practicing my scalpel skills	1.2410	0.05024	83	64	18	1
2863	This is my morning warm up, it's a good day for surgery.	1.2410	0.05836	83	67	12	4
2864	Sometimes we do miss the target	1.2410	0.05579	83	66	14	3
2865	I really always wanted to be a doctor.	1.2410	0.05024	83	64	18	1
2866	Good thing I’m luckier than I am good	1.2410	0.05579	83	66	14	3
2867	And then there are some who are vaccine hesitant.	1.2410	0.05579	83	66	14	3
2868	We're still in clinical trials but early results have been encouraging.	1.2410	0.05024	83	64	18	1
2869	No harm, no foul.	1.2410	0.05024	83	64	18	1
2870	And then we surgically attach the apple to your head.	1.2410	0.05309	83	65	16	2
2871	The good news is it's covered by your insurance.	1.2410	0.05309	83	65	16	2
2872	I assure you, shadow sculpting is the latest trend.	1.2410	0.05836	83	67	12	4
2873	Looks like they forgot to clean up after the last test subject. That's funny... they usually throw 13 knives.	1.2407	0.04720	108	85	20	3
2874	Your insurance has finally approved your surgery.	1.2407	0.04720	108	85	20	3
2875	I’m just the assistant, but I’ll take a stab at it	1.2407	0.05073	108	87	16	5
2876	This was my last patient.	1.2405	0.05758	79	63	13	3
2877	This won't hurt a bit.	1.2405	0.05164	79	61	17	1
2878	“I’ve got to finish outlining the body. All that’s left to do are the inner legs, upper thighs and crotch area.”	1.2405	0.06033	79	64	11	4
2879	Good news is you have insurance... Bad news is they only cover 12	1.2405	0.05758	79	63	13	3
2880	Believe me, after this your rectal exam will be a piece of cake.	1.2405	0.05469	79	62	15	2
2881	At the very least I'm going to recommend a vegan diet.	1.2405	0.05469	79	62	15	2
2882	I have finished all my tests, you can see your clinical profile looks fine.	1.2405	0.05469	79	62	15	2
2883	See, this will get you past your nerve issues, one way or another!	1.2405	0.06033	79	64	11	4
2884	Not crazy. Steady like the others.	1.2405	0.05469	79	62	15	2
2885	Well, MY reflexes are sure pretty good.	1.2405	0.05164	79	61	17	1
2886	You did well in the stress test. Let's m move on to the blood sample.	1.2404	0.04427	104	80	23	1
2887	I know you think the 12 knives test to cure boredom has failed, but it's actually the 13 knives test, and the finale never leaves them wanting more.	1.2404	0.05379	104	85	13	6
2888	Ok, next we'll remove the earplugs and try him with a blindfold.	1.2400	0.05315	75	58	16	1
2889	Step right up, I haven't missed yet.	1.2400	0.05644	75	59	14	2
2890	I wanted to give you an outline of your treatment before we started the process.	1.2400	0.05315	75	58	16	1
2891	Some hypochondriacs decide to recant at this point.	1.2400	0.05955	75	60	12	3
2892	Well, Jim, you asked me to ‘cut around’ the tumor.	1.2400	0.05955	75	60	12	3
2893	Shall we try one more?	1.2400	0.05315	75	58	16	1
2894	I get my best results blindfolded	1.2400	0.05148	100	80	16	4
2895	You might feel JUST a little pinch.	1.2400	0.05644	75	59	14	2
2896	Oh, so you were serious	1.2400	0.05644	75	59	14	2
2897	Climb in and I'll add a finishing touch.	1.2400	0.05315	75	58	16	1
2898	Your name wouldn't happen to be Mac by any chance?	1.2400	0.04965	75	57	18	0
2899	The risks were fully disclosed in paragraph 347.	1.2400	0.04965	75	57	18	0
2900	I'm precise, but not accurate.	1.2400	0.05644	75	59	14	2
2901	My early medical training was in a Circus, but they fired me after the little accident.	1.2400	0.04948	100	79	18	3
2902	I told you it’s not arthritis.	1.2400	0.04740	100	78	20	2
2903	See, even blindfolded, I know what I'm doing.	1.2396	0.05490	96	78	13	5
2904	Good thing I'm not a cardiologist.	1.2396	0.04854	96	75	19	2
2905	Once we settle a few lawsuits, we'll bring back the spin feature.	1.2396	0.05490	96	78	13	5
2906	I attest your tremor is negligible.	1.2396	0.04854	96	75	19	2
2907	This is all covered in your plan.	1.2396	0.05287	96	77	15	4
2908	It's the highest form of non-invasive surgery.	1.2396	0.04854	96	75	19	2
2909	Are you still nervous?	1.2396	0.05075	96	76	17	3
2910	You're much luckier than my last patient.	1.2396	0.05287	96	77	15	4
2911	Ok, shoes on wise guy .	1.2396	0.05287	96	77	15	4
2912	If I accidentally hit you there will be no charge for the surgery.	1.2394	0.06172	71	57	11	3
2913	We are very proud of our new surgery training facility.	1.2394	0.05481	71	55	15	1
2914	So, your choice? Which is it, 'surgery or the, acupuncture' ?	1.2394	0.05481	71	55	15	1
2915	Not bad, out of 24 tries.	1.2394	0.06792	71	59	7	5
2916	It’s a reflex test. You passed.	1.2391	0.04977	92	72	18	2
2917	You're a lefty, that's good.	1.2391	0.05436	92	74	14	4
2918	As you can see, I am qualified to be your surgeon; I don't hit anything I am not supposed to hit.	1.2391	0.05436	92	74	14	4
2919	I don't think we got it all.	1.2391	0.05436	92	74	14	4
2920	Great, next in will be the Psychic Marvel for your brain scan.	1.2391	0.05436	92	74	14	4
2921	My new non-invasive surgery technique is literally cutting edge.	1.2391	0.04977	92	72	18	2
2922	I finally got the shape of you.	1.2389	0.04221	113	87	25	1
2923	I’d like to start off with a few diagnostics.	1.2388	0.06049	67	53	12	2
2924	The new surgical techniques are life-changing.	1.2386	0.04570	88	67	21	0
2925	I think you should stay within your comfort zone.	1.2386	0.05110	88	69	17	2
2926	It's only hype. No doctor is really that good.	1.2386	0.05359	88	70	15	3
2927	Hang on, let me go get my glasses.	1.2386	0.05359	88	70	15	3
2928	I'm afraid you're missing the point.	1.2386	0.05826	88	72	11	5
2929	I'm pretty much hit or miss...	1.2386	0.05598	88	71	13	4
2930	My degree is honorary. They recognized me for my knife skills.	1.2386	0.05110	88	69	17	2
2931	This is guaranteed to cure your hiccups.	1.2386	0.04570	88	67	21	0
2932	how could that be dangerous ?	1.2386	0.05359	88	70	15	3
2933	Don't worry, I've never missed a patient.	1.2386	0.04570	88	67	21	0
2934	Hmm, it seems the only way I can 'stick it to you' is with my bill...	1.2386	0.05598	88	71	13	4
2935	With this new procedure, we’re giving a whole new meaning to surgical precision.	1.2386	0.05110	88	69	17	2
2936	Of course, there's always the laparoscopic option.	1.2381	0.05519	84	67	14	3
2937	Of course, this doesn't tell the whole story.	1.2381	0.04675	84	64	20	0
2938	It's a minimally invasive cure for hiccups.	1.2381	0.05773	84	68	12	4
2939	It beats a colonoscopy.	1.2381	0.04675	84	64	20	0
2940	Surgeon wasn’t a great career choice for William Tell’s progeny	1.2381	0.05332	105	86	13	6
2941	There you are—my parameters for taking care of in-laws.	1.2381	0.05519	84	67	14	3
2942	The bad news is your cholesterol is a bit high.	1.2381	0.05519	84	67	14	3
2943	The carnival doctor explains his circumcision technique to the patient	1.2381	0.05519	84	67	14	3
2944	It increases the chances of conception.	1.2381	0.04972	84	65	18	1
2945	Let's cut to the chase, shall we?	1.2381	0.06017	84	69	10	5
2946	Hey, as long as you didn't gain weight over the holidays, you should be fine.	1.2381	0.05519	84	67	14	3
2947	Accuracy is my … but, not, necessarily, my strong point.	1.2381	0.06017	84	69	10	5
2948	Most patients who recover well report having an out-of-body experience during this procedure.	1.2381	0.05253	84	66	16	2
2949	Medicine really is more art than science these days.	1.2381	0.05519	84	67	14	3
2950	This is the Simon Says reflexes board.	1.2381	0.04972	84	65	18	1
2951	As I mentioned, this treatment has shown to work 99% of the time	1.2381	0.05253	84	66	16	2
2952	Won’t even leave a scar	1.2381	0.05253	84	66	16	2
2953	Guess there is a difference between an MD and a DO.	1.2381	0.06017	84	69	10	5
2954	So you see, thirteen really was your unlucky number	1.2381	0.06017	84	69	10	5
2955	Problem is...there is one knife left!	1.2376	0.05103	101	81	16	4
2956	Of course my insurance covers THIS for some reason.	1.2375	0.05409	80	63	15	2
2957	I'm afraid the scan didn't find anything. You'll have to go under the knife.	1.2375	0.05694	80	64	13	3
2958	I'll waive the co-pay.	1.2375	0.05108	80	62	17	1
2959	Let me show you a brief outline of this procedure.	1.2375	0.05108	80	62	17	1
2960	Aural surgery is scheduled for Monday.	1.2375	0.05965	80	65	11	4
2961	During the pandemic, we've been practicing remote surgery.	1.2375	0.05694	80	64	13	3
2962	I think I'm ready now for your prostate procedure.	1.2375	0.05965	80	65	11	4
2963	And so began my interest in surgery.	1.2375	0.05965	80	65	11	4
2964	As my identical twin, there are some skills you'll need to impersonate me.	1.2375	0.06225	80	66	9	5
2965	Now we'll focus on where the target's vital organs are located.	1.2375	0.05409	80	63	15	2
2966	It’s really a process of elimination strategy.	1.2375	0.05409	80	63	15	2
2967	We practice precision medicine.	1.2375	0.05108	80	62	17	1
2968	I come from a circus family. V	1.2375	0.05409	80	63	15	2
2969	It seems you are inoperable.”	1.2375	0.05694	80	64	13	3
2970	Unless you prefer to be out, we’ll just use a local.	1.2375	0.05409	80	63	15	2
2971	I'm much more accurate with vasectomies.	1.2375	0.05409	80	63	15	2
2972	Now for the all-important between-the-legs shot.	1.2375	0.05409	80	63	15	2
2973	Any other questions?	1.2375	0.05694	80	64	13	3
2974	So, my eyesight seems to be holding and your nerves have improved substantially. Anything else?	1.2375	0.05108	80	62	17	1
2975	So you've heard of acupuncture, right?	1.2371	0.05238	97	78	15	4
2976	Now are you comfortable with open heart?	1.2371	0.05029	97	77	17	3
2977	Well, given your co-pay we'll let YOU wear the blindfold this time.	1.2371	0.04582	97	75	21	1
2978	Don't move, you will be okay.	1.2368	0.06175	76	62	10	4
2979	I personally recommend a blindfold over anesthesia.	1.2368	0.05578	76	60	14	2
2980	I read on Twitter that x-rays are a scam. Now I just let the knives decide whether a patient needs surgery.	1.2368	0.05254	76	59	16	1
2981	I appreciate your outlining the operation.	1.2368	0.05254	76	59	16	1
2982	Anesthesia? Yes, that’s a good idea.	1.2368	0.05254	76	59	16	1
2983	I'm sorry, Mr. Smith, but the latest revisions to my liability insurance don't permit physical contact. Rest assured, your excision biopsy will be complete shortly. Just remove your robe, stand against the wall and take a deep breath...	1.2368	0.05254	76	59	16	1
2984	I'll admit that it's not traditional surgery, but it does steady my nerves	1.2368	0.06453	76	63	8	5
2985	Not to worry, you can see that I am very accurate.	1.2368	0.05578	76	60	14	2
2986	This will be my first time.	1.2368	0.05578	76	60	14	2
2987	You're in good hands. The other twelve survived.	1.2368	0.06175	76	62	10	4
2988	We call it cutting edge tecnnology.	1.2368	0.06175	76	62	10	4
2989	I promise, large scale acupuncture will really take some relief off of that back	1.2368	0.05254	76	59	16	1
2990	This isn’t what I had in mind when you said I was going to be under the knife…	1.2368	0.05884	76	61	12	3
2991	You'll want to remain very still.	1.2366	0.04431	93	71	22	0
2992	You see, it’s just a psychological test, you won’t feel a thing.	1.2366	0.04687	93	72	20	1
2993	Vasectomies are in vogue these days; shall we try?	1.2366	0.05162	93	74	16	3
2994	When we switched to laparoscopic surgery, we had to figure out what to do with the knives."	1.2366	0.05383	93	75	14	4
2995	Alrighty, now we go for the inseam.	1.2366	0.05383	93	75	14	4
2996	I started in the big tent.	1.2366	0.04930	93	73	18	2
2997	It's the latest in non-invasive surgery.	1.2366	0.05162	93	74	16	3
2998	This is how we accomplish “Do no harm.”	1.2366	0.04930	93	73	18	2
2999	I'll need you to cough ... but do not turn your head.	1.2366	0.04930	93	73	18	2
3000	No survivors have been hurt.	1.2366	0.05162	93	74	16	3
3001	We're not identical anymore.	1.2361	0.06094	72	58	11	3
3002	No worries! It’s just a joke around here!	1.2361	0.05764	72	57	13	2
3003	In this hospital, we use only the most cutting-edge treatment methods.	1.2361	0.06094	72	58	11	3
3004	This is how I always loosen up before going into surgery.	1.2361	0.05764	72	57	13	2
3005	Trust me. I don’t have an axe to grind.	1.2361	0.05414	72	56	15	1
3006	As you can see, it's a non-invasive procedure.	1.2360	0.05305	89	71	15	3
3007	A study Lancet showed that ice-breakers improve surgical accuracy by thirty percent.	1.2360	0.05305	89	71	15	3
3008	You wanted to try faith healing?	1.2360	0.05305	89	71	15	3
3009	We had to poke around the edges of your problem first. Now we can start cutting deep.	1.2360	0.05767	89	73	11	5
3010	Nearly done. That just leaves the run-up between your legs.	1.2360	0.05059	89	70	17	2
3011	As you can see.....I have excellent knife skills.	1.2360	0.05059	89	70	17	2
3012	It may not be perfect, .... but I haven't had any complaints.	1.2360	0.05059	89	70	17	2
3013	It's a reminder from my sideshow days of how precise I can be with a knife.	1.2360	0.04800	89	69	19	1
3014	If you're lucky, I'll miss you too.	1.2360	0.05305	89	71	15	3
3015	Sorry, they did not mention Wald in medical school.	1.2360	0.05059	89	70	17	2
3016	You'll have to stay awake for this procedure.	1.2360	0.04800	89	69	19	1
3017	We call this the Kevin.	1.2360	0.04800	89	69	19	1
3018	Okay, Mr. McCarthy, one more round!	1.2360	0.05059	89	70	17	2
3019	It's a beautiful day to save lives.	1.2358	0.04556	106	83	21	2
3020	It’s the newest minimally invasive surgery.	1.2358	0.04749	106	84	19	3
3021	Time for your pre-op.	1.2353	0.04922	85	66	18	1
3022	I practice cutting edge medicine,	1.2353	0.05461	85	68	14	3
3023	Alright, Johnny. I have one more knife to throw. I'll make it count.	1.2353	0.04862	102	81	18	3
3024	They always taught us to measure twice, cut once.	1.2353	0.05461	85	68	14	3
3025	I'm good. I hit the body only once every 111 throws.	1.2353	0.04658	102	80	20	2
3026	Couple more and we'll get that mole, I promise.	1.2353	0.05198	85	67	16	2
3027	So far, so good, but alas in Medicine there are no guarantees..	1.2353	0.04862	102	81	18	3
3028	I was planning to take up acupuncture, but then I thought: What the heck?	1.2353	0.05198	85	67	16	2
3029	You’ll be my first brain surgery, but rest assured that I have yet to lose a patient!	1.2353	0.04922	85	66	18	1
3030	Not to put too fine a point on it just let me carve out the options for you.	1.2353	0.05198	85	67	16	2
3031	I take dermatology seriously.	1.2353	0.05461	85	68	14	3
3032	Your Carnival Healthcare Plan requires that you pass a routine reflex test first.	1.2353	0.05712	85	69	12	4
3033	So much for pre-op. Now let's get to that vasectomy.	1.2353	0.05712	85	69	12	4
3034	You're either not actually suicidal or you're being protected by a very powerful special interest group.	1.2353	0.06327	68	55	10	3
3035	That was the last patient. He no longer fears death.	1.2353	0.05198	85	67	16	2
3036	You're right I'm a bit out of shape.	1.2353	0.05461	85	68	14	3
3037	it's perfectly safe	1.2353	0.05952	85	70	10	5
3038	We’ll do the appendectomy afterwards. This is just for my Instagram story.	1.2353	0.05198	85	67	16	2
3039	Well, it’s called medical practice for a reason.	1.2353	0.04922	85	66	18	1
3040	We asked the A.I. to outline the procedure.	1.2347	0.04767	98	77	19	2
3041	It turns out adrenaline is even better medicine than laughter.	1.2347	0.04983	98	78	17	3
3042	Your reflexes are normal.	1.2347	0.05190	98	79	15	4
3043	You have nothing to worry about. As you can see, I have a very steady hand.	1.2347	0.05190	98	79	15	4
3044	I’m saving this one for your vasectomy.	1.2347	0.05190	98	79	15	4
3045	Trust me. I'm really that good!	1.2347	0.04983	98	78	17	3
3046	Don’t worry, our p value is less than .05	1.2347	0.04767	98	77	19	2
3047	It’s just a little fun thing we like to do.	1.2346	0.05630	81	65	13	3
3048	Just a few more tests and you'll be done.	1.2346	0.05349	81	64	15	2
3049	If I miss, you get double your money back.	1.2346	0.05898	81	66	11	4
3050	It does appear that the odds are in your favor.	1.2346	0.05053	81	63	17	1
3051	For an extra $3, I can guess your weight.	1.2346	0.05898	81	66	11	4
3052	Think of it as super effective shock therapy.	1.2346	0.04737	81	62	19	0
3053	It keeps the aura in check.	1.2346	0.05349	81	64	15	2
3054	See? I'm great with a scalpel.	1.2346	0.05349	81	64	15	2
3055	You said you wanted to go under the knife this time.	1.2346	0.05349	81	64	15	2
3056	Next I will check your prostate.	1.2346	0.05349	81	64	15	2
3057	My precision is getting marginally better.	1.2346	0.05349	81	64	15	2
3058	Full disclosure, I haven't quite figured out the whole 'surgery thing' yet.	1.2346	0.05630	81	65	13	3
3059	As you can see, it is much less invasive than most diagnostic procedures.	1.2346	0.05053	81	63	17	1
3060	Don’t worry. I’ve got 4.9 stars.	1.2346	0.05053	81	63	17	1
3061	Absolutely, your insurance will cover this.	1.2346	0.05053	81	63	17	1
3062	Sure, there's nothing wrong with you YET. But if you stand in front of this new operating table and I aim just right, you're sure to reach that insurance deductible!	1.2346	0.05898	81	66	11	4
3063	Don't worry about your upcoming surgery. As you can see, I've been practicing."	1.2344	0.06197	64	51	11	2
3064	This should take care of your bad aura	1.2340	0.04884	94	74	18	2
3065	Well, first, we scare the hell out of you.	1.2340	0.05542	94	77	12	5
3066	So do you feel better about my surgical capabilities?	1.2340	0.05332	94	76	14	4
3067	Oh, I'm zero for three. Why do you ask?	1.2340	0.04644	94	73	20	1
3068	We like to take a holistic approach to surgery, where we examine the whole body.	1.2340	0.05113	94	75	16	3
3069	Anyway, the percentages look good	1.2340	0.04884	94	74	18	2
3070	No worries. It’s the fine motor skills that count.	1.2340	0.04884	94	74	18	2
3071	But today, I'm really gonna nail it...	1.2340	0.04884	94	74	18	2
3072	I've only missed once . . . . and that suit was settled.	1.2340	0.05542	94	77	12	5
3073	I'll try and aim for your heart.	1.2340	0.05113	94	75	16	3
3074	I’m Board Certified. Your procedure should go well.	1.2340	0.04644	94	73	20	1
3075	We practice at a hospital for insurance purposes.	1.2340	0.05113	94	75	16	3
3076	Final test - creativity to write copy under pressure…	1.2340	0.04884	94	74	18	2
3077	Mom says you can pick the next game.	1.2340	0.05113	94	75	16	3
3078	Don’t worry, we cut around anything important.	1.2340	0.05332	94	76	14	4
3079	Trust me, this is cutting edge technology.	1.2338	0.05816	77	62	12	3
3080	Congratulations! As you can see, your vasectomy will complete my surgery rotation.	1.2338	0.06102	77	63	10	4
3081	The residency can be unpleasant.	1.2338	0.05195	77	60	16	1
3082	Your surgeon is a very good marksman...he usually gets two out of three.	1.2338	0.05195	77	60	16	1
3083	Nothing's 100 percent safe, but they are made of surgical steel and thoroughly sterilized	1.2338	0.06102	77	63	10	4
3084	Don't worry. I did my residency at Benihana.	1.2338	0.06102	77	63	10	4
3085	I hope you've played dodgeball.	1.2338	0.05514	77	61	14	2
3086	This is how we choose where to operate first	1.2338	0.05195	77	60	16	1
3087	Perhaps now you’ll trust this hand to check that prostate?	1.2338	0.05195	77	60	16	1
3088	Would an evil twin do that?	1.2338	0.05514	77	61	14	2
3089	What keeps us sharp is being dispassionate, even with close family!	1.2338	0.06102	77	63	10	4
3090	Just give me one more chance	1.2338	0.04855	77	59	18	0
3091	Are you're positive you filled out your organ donor card?	1.2338	0.05514	77	61	14	2
3092	Guess you don’t need surgery after all!	1.2336	0.04519	107	84	21	2
3093	I'm good, But there's always a first time	1.2333	0.05923	90	75	9	6
3094	It's a Chinese Thing	1.2333	0.05009	90	71	17	2
3095	Of course no procedure is completely without risk, but as you can see..	1.2333	0.05253	90	72	15	3
3096	You wanted the alternate prostate test...	1.2333	0.05009	90	71	17	2
3097	I credit the FDA’s revised blindfold policy	1.2333	0.04754	90	70	19	1
3098	Impressive! But this time, wear the blindfold!	1.2333	0.05485	90	73	13	4
3099	Oh that? Basically, an inside joke about a Johnny Carson bit.	1.2333	0.05485	90	73	13	4
3100	It showed that your peripheral vision is spot on .	1.2333	0.05485	90	73	13	4
3101	Dermot wasn’t holding out for a normal blood pressure reading	1.2333	0.05009	90	71	17	2
3102	A physician never tells.	1.2333	0.04754	90	70	19	1
3103	Hey Doc where did you go to medical school?	1.2333	0.05485	90	73	13	4
3104	Next, we'll test your level of anxiety.	1.2333	0.05009	90	71	17	2
3105	Do you have a family history of good luck?	1.2333	0.05485	90	73	13	4
3106	Like I’ll ever get that lucky again!	1.2333	0.05708	90	74	11	5
3107	What's your preference? Scalpel, X-Acto, or Ginsu? The Ginsu knives are 'on special' this week. And as a holiday bonus, you get to keep the set as our gift to you!	1.2330	0.04820	103	82	18	3
3108	I'm glad you're feeling better because I'm still in practice.	1.2330	0.05200	103	84	14	5
3109	Vasectomies are cheaper this way.	1.2330	0.05200	103	84	14	5
3110	‘I bought this art installation in 2020. I still haven’t figured out what it is saying to me.’	1.2330	0.05014	103	83	16	4
3111	Well, Dr. Kevorkian had better aim.	1.2329	0.06019	73	59	11	3
3112	It's a new kind of stress test.	1.2329	0.05694	73	58	13	2
3113	Thank you for volunteering for our hemophobic surgeon trial.	1.2329	0.06019	73	59	11	3
3114	Doc, perhaps you’ll do my surgery the old-fashioned way?	1.2329	0.05349	73	57	15	1
3115	I'm not Ed Ames!	1.2329	0.05349	73	57	15	1
3116	I can assure you that you are in good hand.	1.2329	0.06019	73	59	11	3
3117	Don’t worry, they’re Ginsu Knives.	1.2329	0.05349	73	57	15	1
3118	All of my doctor-patient relationships are based on trust as long as you’re of average height and weight.	1.2329	0.04981	73	56	17	0
3119	Let's just check to see if you're too big.	1.2329	0.06327	73	60	9	4
3120	Always like to practice before a vasectomy.	1.2329	0.05694	73	58	13	2
3121	This should take care of your restlessness.	1.2329	0.04981	73	56	17	0
3122	My practice is never far from the mark.	1.2329	0.04981	73	56	17	0
3123	You'll be cured when you can fully express your aggressions with a direct hit	1.2326	0.05652	86	70	12	4
3124	I think you’ll get the point	1.2326	0.05404	86	69	14	3
3125	I’m not an expert in treating your illness, but I’ll take a stab at it.	1.2326	0.04872	86	67	18	1
3126	Before we begin, we want to say, "Thank You for agreeing to be the second test-subject to try out this new cost-saving Stress Test alternative."	1.2326	0.05404	86	69	14	3
3127	The robot now has a pretty good idea where your prostate is.	1.2326	0.05652	86	70	12	4
3128	In this office, we are redefining patient-centered care.	1.2326	0.05404	86	69	14	3
3129	As you can see this guy had coverage.	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
3130	I know it looks impressive but my malpractice insurance is through the roof.	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
3131	I think we got it all.	1.2326	0.04582	86	66	20	0
3132	Good news - your reflexes are terrible!	1.2326	0.05652	86	70	12	4
3133	Most patients don't need to worry about side effects.	1.2326	0.05652	86	70	12	4
3134	My turn.	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
3135	You appear to be at your ideal weight.	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
3136	Well what’d you think I meant by operating theater?	1.2326	0.04872	86	67	18	1
3137	And just like that, your buccal fat removal is done	1.2326	0.05652	86	70	12	4
3138	Yeah I know it's crazy, that guy was super tall.	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
3139	See, I told you, surgeons have a steady hand. Now go ahead and pick your incision size	1.2326	0.05404	86	69	14	3
3140	We were asked not to touch anything that would get us cancelled.	1.2326	0.04872	86	67	18	1
3141	Of course,this treatment has been tested: thirteen times.	1.2323	0.05142	99	80	15	4
3142	HMO coverage is a little hit or miss.	1.2323	0.04938	99	79	17	3
3143	« It’s either that, or cutting directly into you. »	1.2323	0.04725	99	78	19	2
3144	If only surgery was this easy	1.2323	0.04938	99	79	17	3
3145	Traditionally, this procedure has a one hundred percent effective result. Of course, there is some risk involved…..	1.2323	0.04725	99	78	19	2
3146	It's just the little gap between the legs that needs doing.	1.2323	0.04938	99	79	17	3
3147	Now do you believe me that my hand is steady enough to take out your gall bladder.	1.2321	0.04570	112	89	20	3
3148	You're my first live patient.	1.2319	0.06243	69	56	10	3
3149	Don't worry. I have excellent malpractice coverage.	1.2319	0.05892	69	55	12	2
3150	I’ve been practicing a lot since I accidentally decapitated our other triplet.	1.2319	0.05892	69	55	12	2
3151	Don't worry. We have lots of practice in making the right incision.	1.2319	0.05892	69	55	12	2
3152	So whaddya think - go for that last knife?	1.2319	0.05519	69	54	14	1
3153	Hmm .. maybe I'll skip the tonsillectomy.	1.2319	0.06243	69	56	10	3
3154	Don’t worry, I’m much more accurate when I’m not throwing the knives at the patient.	1.2319	0.06243	69	56	10	3
3155	The surgery will be hit or miss, but as promised, it will be scalpel-free	1.2319	0.05892	69	55	12	2
3156	It improves my dexterity. And I will charge you less. So, it’s a win-win situation basically.	1.2319	0.05519	69	54	14	1
3157	We’re sort of a blend of Eastern, Western, Psychotherapy practice. If you live, you get to be a doctor like me!	1.2319	0.05519	69	54	14	1
3158	Just hold reeeal still.	1.2317	0.05833	82	67	11	4
3159	My last patient survived.	1.2317	0.05833	82	67	11	4
3160	That acupuncturist was let go.	1.2317	0.04999	82	64	17	1
3161	Ok, Mr. Melman, stand inside the outline facing the wall, spread your gown, and viola...your hemorrhoids will be gone!	1.2317	0.05291	82	65	15	2
3162	Looks like someone brought a Sharpie to a knife fight.	1.2317	0.05833	82	67	11	4
3163	Your insurance company has deemed your emergency appendectomy to be a non-essential procedure, but if you want, we can give this a go.	1.2317	0.05569	82	66	13	3
3164	You can get a chalk outline if I miss.	1.2317	0.04999	82	64	17	1
3165	One more to go	1.2317	0.05569	82	66	13	3
3166	As you can see, I'm usually successful.	1.2317	0.04688	82	63	19	0
3167	As you can see, I am not a general surgeon, I am a specialty surgeon.	1.2317	0.06086	82	68	9	5
3168	We always start with you aura.	1.2317	0.05569	82	66	13	3
3169	your turn	1.2317	0.05291	82	65	15	2
3170	Well it’s new! The so-called respectable surgeons are bound to be less than welcoming.	1.2317	0.05291	82	65	15	2
3171	I really thought that would hit your deductible.	1.2317	0.04999	82	64	17	1
3172	....and for your heart surgery I'll be wearing clown gloves a wig and a red nose	1.2317	0.05291	82	65	15	2
3173	Welp, no matter how you slice it, we’re just the same character wearing different outfits.	1.2317	0.05291	82	65	15	2
3174	Eventually I found his appendix...	1.2316	0.05065	95	76	16	3
3175	I liked it when you twitched.	1.2316	0.04351	95	73	22	0
3176	We're on the cutting edge of experimental therapeutic interventions.	1.2316	0.04838	95	75	18	2
3177	Don't worry. I've done this operation thousands of times.	1.2316	0.04838	95	75	18	2
3178	Just like the last guy, you can take some with you as compensation for your time	1.2316	0.04838	95	75	18	2
3179	Looks like the results of your initial scan were inconclusive.	1.2316	0.05065	95	76	16	3
3180	Have you ever experienced a sharp,stabbing pain?	1.2316	0.04838	95	75	18	2
3181	There will be a real doctor standing by, just in case.	1.2316	0.05065	95	76	16	3
3182	Our new MRI machine outlines your image with pinpoint accuracy.	1.2316	0.04601	95	74	20	1
3183	The clinical term is “Survivorship Bias”, want to see how it works?	1.2316	0.05065	95	76	16	3
3184	As you can see, you'll be quite safe standing there while we throw these.	1.2315	0.04853	108	87	17	4
3185	Just a little pre-op confidence builder we do. . . .	1.2315	0.04671	108	86	19	3
3186	I found this to be a great way to combine my passion for knife throwing with my need to heal people.	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
3187	Your last chance to get to the heart of the matter.	1.2308	0.05201	91	73	15	3
3188	You're not my first patient to go under the knife. Or over the knife. Or adjacent to the knife.	1.2308	0.04708	91	71	19	1
3189	Our new AI directed cancer seeking diagnostic tool gives you a clean bill of health.	1.2308	0.04961	91	72	17	2
3190	First we outline the problem, the we go in for the kill	1.2308	0.05137	78	61	16	1
3191	So, ready for that vasectomy?	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
3192	Are you over your trust issues now?	1.2308	0.06112	65	52	11	2
3193	Just wondering if you can stick around a little longer?	1.2308	0.04961	91	72	17	2
3194	Luckily, we never miss when it counts.	1.2308	0.05451	78	62	14	2
3195	I was just getting warmed up.	1.2308	0.04708	91	71	19	1
3196	One out of thirteen wouldn’t be too bad.	1.2308	0.04801	78	60	18	0
3197	It's new! Knife-you-puncture. Guaranteed to make you forget whatever else you have."	1.2308	0.04961	91	72	17	2
3198	Yes,I am your HMO preferred provider	1.2308	0.06112	65	52	11	2
3199	On the bright side, you've reached your deductible.	1.2308	0.05155	104	85	14	5
3200	This is the clinical trial for Experimental Impalement Surgery.	1.2308	0.04961	91	72	17	2
3201	Looks like we’ve cured your nervous tremor.	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
3202	We have mastered the art of minimally invasive surgery.	1.2308	0.05451	78	62	14	2
3203	Survivorship bias is an unproven theory.	1.2308	0.06031	78	64	10	4
3204	There's only one spot left. Guess?	1.2308	0.05451	78	62	14	2
3205	They don't let you try things like that in the neurology wing, but here in orthopaedics we're a little looser.	1.2308	0.06031	78	64	10	4
3206	Your treatment will be on the cutting edge.	1.2308	0.05705	65	51	13	1
3207	It's for your cardiogram. It replaces the treadmill.	1.2308	0.04961	91	72	17	2
3208	Well Frank, if you lost some more weight, you have a better chacne of surviving	1.2308	0.05451	78	62	14	2
3209	Now, that we’ve completed the trust exercise, I’m ready for you to turn your head and cough.	1.2308	0.05451	78	62	14	2
3210	Your anesthesiologist is an axe thrower, he's great.	1.2308	0.06493	65	53	9	3
3211	The bad news is this procedure has a 7% chance of success. The good news as you have met your deductible and are fully insured.	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
3212	In absence of payment we ask that you participate in our blood drive.	1.2308	0.05451	78	62	14	2
3213	…and this is where you appendix isn’t.	1.2308	0.05705	65	51	13	1
3214	The good news is that this is usually an outpatient procedure.	1.2308	0.06031	78	64	10	4
3215	It's the only procedure approved by insurance.	1.2308	0.05431	91	74	13	4
3216	,,,YES,, OK,, Good question,,, ,,, Well, that shows you that the last patient walked away before I threw this one.	1.2308	0.05201	91	73	15	3
3217	Medicine teaches us that Death gets closer every year	1.2308	0.06031	78	64	10	4
3218	And if you'll step back in, we'll apply the last one.	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
3219	Per our discussion, the procedures success rate is…..not awesome.	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
3220	Lucky thirteen.	1.2308	0.05651	91	75	11	5
3221	I promise not to stab you in the back.	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
3222	It's a fairly simple procedure	1.2308	0.05651	91	75	11	5
3223	That’s not the real danger associated with this procedure. I am out of network.	1.2300	0.05096	100	81	15	4
3224	If you survive, the surgery's free!	1.2300	0.04894	100	80	17	3
3225	Don’t worry. One more can’t hurt.	1.2300	0.05096	100	81	15	4
3226	True, some might call it psychopathic, but I prefer to say homeopathic.	1.2300	0.04894	100	80	17	3
3227	This explains the iron deficiency.	1.2300	0.04894	100	80	17	3
3228	It's a new procedure.	1.2300	0.05096	100	81	15	4
3229	Not sure why you're complaining, my aim was almost perfect.	1.2300	0.04230	100	77	23	0
3230	The procedure is really quite routine.	1.2299	0.05092	87	69	16	2
3231	So if you're looking to sue someone, the anesthesiologist is your man	1.2299	0.04537	87	67	20	0
3232	Sorry about that right arm. My bad.	1.2299	0.05348	87	70	14	3
3233	I’m really a concise surgeon, this where I practice	1.2299	0.04537	87	67	20	0
3234	No worries. It’s just our way to make sure the scapels are sharp before your surgery…	1.2299	0.05348	87	70	14	3
3235	It’s called “twelve knife therapy” it’s all the rage	1.2299	0.04823	87	68	18	1
3236	I don't know what this proves, but patients seem to find it comforting.	1.2299	0.05092	87	69	16	2
3237	It's a relatively new procedure with a fairly high success rate	1.2299	0.05593	87	71	12	4
3238	Your chance's are pretty good this week.	1.2299	0.05348	87	70	14	3
3239	Other doctors like to prescribe laxatives, but I think this has fewer side effects.	1.2299	0.04823	87	68	18	1
3240	And I didn’t even need anesthesia!	1.2299	0.04823	87	68	18	1
3241	I missed my calling.	1.2299	0.05092	87	69	16	2
3242	Now that we’ve covered the peripheral issues, let’s see how the rest of you looks.	1.2297	0.05945	74	60	11	3
3243	You did sign the waiver right?	1.2297	0.05286	74	58	15	1
3244	It’s a minimally invasive procedure… that is, unless I miss!	1.2297	0.05286	74	58	15	1
3245	A memento from my carny days.	1.2297	0.05286	74	58	15	1
3246	My assistant can’t be here but I’m fully qualified to throw the knives	1.2297	0.05945	74	60	11	3
3247	This is where I practice medicine.	1.2297	0.06249	74	61	9	4
3248	I’m not a real doctor.	1.2297	0.06249	74	61	9	4
3249	Yes. I’m pretty good at wielding a scalpel too.	1.2297	0.05286	74	58	15	1
3250	I don’t think my insurance will cover this	1.2297	0.05286	74	58	15	1
3251	I find X-Rays are too dangerous.	1.2292	0.05635	96	80	10	6
3252	That's the surgery I recommend to avoid therapy.	1.2292	0.05017	96	77	16	3
3253	How do you think you got that slit in your robe?	1.2292	0.05231	96	78	14	4
3254	Some may think that 13 is an unlucky number?	1.2292	0.05017	96	77	16	3
3255	Trust me. What can go wrong?	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
3256	Medicare limits only allows 12 without further authorization.	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
3257	So those are all the spots where I will not cut you during surgery.	1.2289	0.05235	83	66	15	2
3258	My Credentials, any questions?	1.2289	0.04946	83	65	17	1
3259	It's our new stress test...it shouldn't hurt a bit.	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
3260	‘Think only clean thoughts.’	1.2289	0.04946	83	65	17	1
3261	So it's just my aura that needs an operation, right?	1.2289	0.04946	83	65	17	1
3262	Now that’s surgical precision.	1.2289	0.05235	83	66	15	2
3263	Who says medicine can’t be fun?	1.2289	0.05235	83	66	15	2
3264	The Republicans came up with a new way to test for Covid...	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
3265	It's a tricky procedure.	1.2289	0.05235	83	66	15	2
3266	We tried to tell him that there's less traumatic ways to rid one's self of undesirable body hair.	1.2289	0.06018	83	69	9	5
3267	You can be reassured when you go "under the knife" that I have had plenty of practice.	1.2288	0.04066	118	92	25	1
3268	The first incision is always the trickiest	1.2286	0.05449	70	55	14	1
3269	I've always liked playing with knives.	1.2286	0.05449	70	55	14	1
3270	Could you please hold still and put on this blindfold?	1.2286	0.05449	70	55	14	1
3271	First, I do no harm.	1.2286	0.05449	70	55	14	1
3272	As you can see, my spotless record stands by itself.	1.2286	0.05817	70	56	12	2
3273	A bit more off the sides?	1.2286	0.05817	70	56	12	2
3274	Unfortunately, Mr. Jones, your insurance won’t cover the surgery if performed in the traditional way.	1.2286	0.04928	105	85	16	4
3275	I’m sorry, but without insurance this is the best we can offer.	1.2286	0.06163	70	57	10	3
3276	Primum non nocere	1.2286	0.05817	70	56	12	2
3277	As you can see, you're the first person who's come in today with a groin issue.	1.2286	0.06801	70	59	6	5
3278	it’s my yearly “hands steady as a surgeon” test	1.2286	0.04541	105	83	20	2
3279	As you can see, this is a completely no-risk procedure.	1.2286	0.04738	105	84	18	3
3280	Well, I've narrowed down the location of your problem.	1.2283	0.04913	92	73	17	2
3281	Trust me, this is an upgrade from what your insurance plan used to cover.	1.2283	0.04913	92	73	17	2
3282	I haven’t missed since the unfortunate incident involving the earthquake.	1.2283	0.05150	92	74	15	3
3283	The non invasive surgery has proven inconclusive	1.2283	0.05150	92	74	15	3
3284	Don’t worry, they sterilize it between uses.	1.2283	0.04913	92	73	17	2
3285	Would you like to test your luck just one more time?	1.2283	0.04913	92	73	17	2
3286	I promise I won’t miss as much in the operating room	1.2283	0.05150	92	74	15	3
3287	This is unacceptable, doctor. Consider this your last chance to hit the mark.	1.2283	0.05595	92	76	11	5
3288	See, in-network choices can be fun.	1.2283	0.04913	92	73	17	2
3289	Ok,ready to begin your therapy for your fear of snakes?	1.2283	0.05377	92	75	13	4
3290	You can take this as a sign that I'm either very good or very bad at my job.	1.2283	0.04913	92	73	17	2
3291	Congratulations Tom, you have terrible reflexes.	1.2283	0.05377	92	75	13	4
3292	Your vasectomy will be a bit trickier.	1.2278	0.05390	79	63	14	2
3293	I want you to try my new form of acupuncture.	1.2278	0.05390	79	63	14	2
3294	Either way, it looks like I never miss.	1.2278	0.05683	79	64	12	3
3295	If you flinch I get to double my fee.	1.2278	0.05390	79	63	14	2
3296	No, I don’t think I’m God. When I tell you my skills with the knife are unmatched, I mean it.	1.2278	0.05961	79	65	10	4
3297	Just say 'Ahhhh…'	1.2278	0.05079	79	62	16	1
3298	Don't worry. I did my residency at Benihana." "Don't worry. I did my residency at Benihana."	1.2278	0.05079	79	62	16	1
3299	There will be no anesthesia but I do wear a blindfold.	1.2278	0.05683	79	64	12	3
3300	Now if you'll just help me practice the between-the-legs throw, I'm sure we can get your test results a little faster.	1.2278	0.05683	79	64	12	3
3301	Looking at your chart, I'd say we're right on target.	1.2278	0.05079	79	62	16	1
3302	Don't you hate it when a professional cartoonist can only draw one face?	1.2277	0.05428	101	84	11	6
3303	It is more difficult to be precise now that you have lost weight.	1.2277	0.04423	101	79	21	1
3304	All signs indicate I still have terrific aim	1.2277	0.05050	101	82	15	4
3305	Ready for your Bris?	1.2273	0.05766	88	73	10	5
3306	I'm just warming up for your gall bladder surgery.	1.2273	0.05294	88	71	14	3
3307	I actually got lucky on the last patient.	1.2273	0.05294	88	71	14	3
3308	Your reflexes are terrible.	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
3309	Tom wasn’t confident about the latest anxiety screening	1.2273	0.04775	88	69	18	1
3310	I’m even better in the operating room.	1.2273	0.04775	88	69	18	1
3311	It’s an acupuncture aura cleanse, but it’s still in-network.	1.2273	0.05629	66	52	13	1
3312	The surgeon threw 15 knives last time; this shows a success rate of 80%.	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
3313	Fortunately, today's procedure will be done laparoscopically.	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
3314	For this procedure the only option is for you to go under the knife	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
3315	Tradition dictates that the last throw, between the legs, is taken by our incoming medical resident.	1.2273	0.05294	88	71	14	3
3316	Pregnancy rates after vasectomy reversal will range from about 30% to over 90%.	1.2273	0.05294	88	71	14	3
3317	We can take care of the polyps and the vasectomy with one throw.	1.2273	0.05294	88	71	14	3
3318	If you say "scalpel" one more time...	1.2273	0.05535	88	72	12	4
3319	keep the weight off and you will live forever	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
3320	Ok this time, you’ll be spinning.	1.2273	0.05111	110	91	13	6
3321	This will help to wake you up!	1.2268	0.04518	97	76	20	1
3322	Lucky 13th?	1.2268	0.04971	97	78	16	3
3323	Surgery has been tough after losing my nurse.	1.2268	0.04750	97	77	18	2
3324	It’s his ‘outline’ for the surgery knife test!	1.2268	0.04971	97	78	16	3
3325	You wanted a cutting edge surgeon.	1.2267	0.05558	75	60	13	2
3326	Dr. Samurai prepares his final surgery.	1.2267	0.05558	75	60	13	2
3327	Surgery isn’t my specialty.	1.2267	0.05874	75	61	11	3
3328	50% of the time, it works every time...	1.2267	0.05558	75	60	13	2
3329	Barnum and Bailey Medical School is one of the best.	1.2267	0.05558	75	60	13	2
3330	We find that this helps patients go under the knife.	1.2267	0.05874	75	61	11	3
3331	I grew up in a traveling circus so my methods are a bit unorthodox.	1.2267	0.05558	75	60	13	2
3332	It's just a Stress Test. Step on up and let's see how you do.	1.2267	0.04867	75	58	17	0
3333	After multiple tests, rest assured that the vaccine did not magnetize your body	1.2267	0.05224	75	59	15	1
3334	The hospital is trying a new “gamification” initiative to keep patients engaged.	1.2267	0.06173	75	62	9	4
3335	It’s beginner surgery. We keep getting closer. It’s ok. You won’t remember anything.	1.2264	0.04886	106	86	16	4
3336	You won't feel a thing.	1.2262	0.04895	84	66	17	1
3337	This is our new way to test your heart	1.2262	0.05449	84	68	13	3
3338	Just gotta do the one spot we missed	1.2262	0.05449	84	68	13	3
3339	I hope your aim is better than Johnny Carson's.	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
3340	Don't worry. I've got better aim than Ed Ames.	1.2262	0.05706	84	69	11	4
3341	We’re just trying to pin it down.	1.2262	0.04895	84	66	17	1
3342	I have done this thousands of times, I rarely miss my target.	1.2262	0.04895	84	66	17	1
3343	Hit or miss this will cure your hiccups.	1.2262	0.05449	84	68	13	3
3344	Giving blood is more fun these days	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
3345	Until now I've been practicing on mannequins, but I think I'm ready, just don't move.	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
3346	Actual, it's not at all medical. We have it on loan from the Whitney.	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
3347	I'm dcrawing a blank	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
3348	We call it surgical homeopathy.	1.2262	0.04592	84	65	19	0
3349	My partial diagnosis is that you are definitely not a psychopath.	1.2262	0.05449	84	68	13	3
3350	Naw, I don't throw them at you while you're standing there. Instead, I stand in front of you and just plunge the knives into the wall around you. It is much more therapeutic that way.	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
3351	Let's hope you are a better doctor than a knife thrower.	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
3352	This is how we used to do Lasik.	1.2262	0.05706	84	69	11	4
3353	This is how I make sure where your problem is.	1.2258	0.05100	93	75	15	3
3354	We throw the knives before you're in place, Congressman Santos. Nothing can hurt you now.	1.2258	0.05100	93	75	15	3
3355	Not to worry - long distance or close up, I'm the best!	1.2258	0.04619	93	73	19	1
3356	Relax. I don't have a medical degree but I'm very good with a knife."	1.2258	0.05100	93	75	15	3
3357	Let's give it a try. We are better at treating PTSD than we are at what you have.	1.2258	0.05100	93	75	15	3
3358	Pickleball was the other option.	1.2258	0.05100	93	75	15	3
3359	That's part of my side practice.	1.2258	0.05540	93	77	11	5
3360	I want to thank you for choosing The Wringling Clinic for your exploratory surgery.	1.2258	0.05325	93	76	13	4
3361	Gotta find the tumor before we can operate	1.2258	0.04866	93	74	17	2
3362	Your insurance won't cover the bicycle stress-test.	1.2254	0.06084	71	58	10	3
3363	So, tell me more about your workers' comp claim of blindness ...	1.2254	0.06713	71	60	6	5
3364	Now for the double-blind study.	1.2254	0.05743	71	57	12	2
3365	The risks include stress, anxiety, and perforated just-about-anything.	1.2254	0.06406	71	59	8	4
3366	We call it at-you-puncture therapy.	1.2254	0.04994	71	55	16	0
3367	Looks Like we will have to make a few more tests	1.2254	0.05743	71	57	12	2
3368	See, malepractice makes perfect.	1.2254	0.04994	71	55	16	0
3369	No worries, as you can see I was the best knife thrower in medical school.	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
3370	Just one to go	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
3371	Perhaps you prefer something less invasive?	1.2250	0.05024	80	63	16	1
3372	Closer each time see? We'll have those tonsils out really soon.	1.2250	0.05893	80	66	10	4
3373	Still, 12 out of 13 ain't bad	1.2250	0.06156	80	67	8	5
3374	Don't worry. Notice there are no blood stains on the floor.	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
3375	Are you sure this is the best cure for my constipation Dr. Oz?	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
3376	Obviously, if we’re to do the operation we’re going to need Kryptonite. You’ll sign the release, Clark?	1.2250	0.05024	80	63	16	1
3377	Costs are down because one way or another we never have to repeat tests if the patient moves.	1.2250	0.05893	80	66	10	4
3378	I took a stab at it, but I still can't figure out what's ailing you.	1.2250	0.05024	80	63	16	1
3379	So, what do you know about survival bias?	1.2250	0.05329	80	64	14	2
3380	So Doc, how to checck if the strike rate of the knife flip throw is on target.	1.2250	0.05329	80	64	14	2
3381	Our medical practice has always been on the cutting edge!	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
3382	A doctor always has the soul of an artist	1.2250	0.05329	80	64	14	2
3383	By the way, do you have insurance?	1.2250	0.05024	80	63	16	1
3384	13” - it’s just a number	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
3385	So far, this treatment has a 98% success rate.	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
3386	If this doesn't convince you I'm the right guy to do the surgery, than I give up!	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
3387	No worries. This is how I warm up before your actual surgery.	1.2250	0.05024	80	63	16	1
3388	I seldom miss...	1.2250	0.05329	80	64	14	2
3389	What you see here is the hippocratic oath in full effect.	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
3390	Don't worry about it, the last guy who was here was almost elected Speaker of the House!	1.2250	0.05329	80	64	14	2
3391	We call it reverse acupuncture	1.2250	0.05329	80	64	14	2
3392	Looks like someone forgot their apple today	1.2250	0.05329	80	64	14	2
3393	It’s the one between your knees that will require a specialist.	1.2250	0.05329	80	64	14	2
3394	If I'm blindfolded your constipation will pass faster.	1.2247	0.04990	89	71	16	2
3395	Are you feeling lucky today?	1.2247	0.05478	89	73	12	4
3396	At least it's not spinning	1.2247	0.05707	89	74	10	5
3397	Let's check your gullibility."	1.2247	0.04990	89	71	16	2
3398	So far, all my patients have lived.	1.2247	0.04449	89	69	20	0
3399	Don't worry it is like colouring.....you must stay within the lines.	1.2247	0.04728	89	70	18	1
3400	It's all perfectly safe, the previous trials found this procedure to have a zero percent mortality rate.	1.2247	0.04728	89	70	18	1
3401	You've impersonated me for the last time.	1.2247	0.05240	89	72	14	3
3402	You see nothing to worry about - I haven't missed yet"	1.2247	0.04728	89	70	18	1
3403	‘Your up next’	1.2247	0.04990	89	71	16	2
3404	Our interns find it cathartic.	1.2247	0.04449	89	69	20	0
3405	Thanks for playing. Mom always got in the way.	1.2247	0.05240	89	72	14	3
3406	"No, these are not actual throws. But I assure you this staging is representative of my accuracy.	1.2247	0.05926	89	75	8	6
3407	Don’t worry. I do this procedure every day.	1.2247	0.05240	89	72	14	3
3408	What a coincidence.We just developed a drug for this.Its called Knifescara .Once I catch my breath,I’ll write you a script.	1.2247	0.05478	89	73	12	4
3409	So you can see, it's completely safe.	1.2247	0.05240	89	72	14	3
3410	It's just a hobby	1.2247	0.05478	89	73	12	4
3411	...and then riiight between your legs.	1.2247	0.05240	89	72	14	3
3412	In my free time I moonlight at the carnival.	1.2245	0.04707	98	78	18	2
3413	and this is our surgery visualization screen.	1.2245	0.05135	98	80	14	4
3414	We are approaching this wholistically.	1.2245	0.05716	98	83	8	7
3415	Now, let’s REALLY test your reflexes.	1.2239	0.05947	67	54	11	2
3416	You'll fit right in.	1.2239	0.05554	67	53	13	1
3417	I hope you still want me to do your open heart surgery!	1.2239	0.05947	67	54	11	2
3418	Sorry, but this is the only nerve test your co-pay would cover.	1.2239	0.05554	67	53	13	1
3419	Of course, that was before Parkinson’s.	1.2239	0.05947	67	54	11	2
3420	For today’s clinical trial we’re testing my aim.	1.2239	0.06316	67	55	9	3
3421	Yes...all new surgeons must complete this empathy training exercise.	1.2237	0.05803	76	62	11	3
3422	We offer this alternative to a long wait for surgery.	1.2237	0.05164	76	60	15	1
3423	This is my "hit or miss" surgery technique	1.2237	0.04812	76	59	17	0
3424	No pain, no gain! Before I can do your penile implant, I have to establish your pain threshold.	1.2237	0.05164	76	60	15	1
3425	now, when it comes to backstabbing, you'll never see it coming!	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
3426	It’s this, or anesthesia. Either way, you’ll pass out."	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
3427	Even if we can’t pinpoint the problem, it’s still best to throw something at the wall and see if it sticks.	1.2237	0.05164	76	60	15	1
3428	Don’t read too much into it. This is a perfectly standard part of the eye exam.	1.2237	0.04812	76	59	17	0
3429	I get better with practice.q	1.2237	0.05164	76	60	15	1
3430	We'll need further tests to determine if your aim or your vision is the issue.	1.2237	0.06098	76	63	9	4
3431	Don’t worry. I have great boundaries	1.2237	0.05803	76	62	11	3
3432	Congratulations, you survived your 40s. Now let's schedule that colonoscopy	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
3433	If you can pass this test, we think you’ll make it through the insurance tribulations and we’ll be happy to schedule your surgery.	1.2237	0.05803	76	62	11	3
3434	Previous treatments were hit and miss."	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
3435	Aim for where it hurts!	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
3436	This will definitely cure your constipation.	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
3437	The MRI is down.	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
3438	As you can see, my oath will protect you from any potential harm during your treatment	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
3439	Step right up, you’re the next contestant - er, I mean patient.	1.2237	0.05803	76	62	11	3
3440	You’re a Stormtrooper alright.	1.2237	0.06098	76	63	9	4
3441	Just warming up for your surgery.	1.2235	0.04844	85	67	17	1
3442	Our preliminary tests have proven inconclusive. We'll schedule the next round soon but you need to prepare.	1.2235	0.05125	85	68	15	2
3443	We call this "non-invasive bladder re-activation".	1.2235	0.05125	85	68	15	2
3444	There of course some uncertainty. But I'd say your chances are well over 50, 50	1.2235	0.05125	85	68	15	2
3445	However, WITH our Five Star Full Medical cover...	1.2235	0.04844	85	67	17	1
3446	And you thought the waiting room was a circus.	1.2235	0.05391	85	69	13	3
3447	Stand very still.	1.2235	0.04844	85	67	17	1
3448	Look at it this way, I need to practice for America”s Got Talent and you need Gall Bladder surgery. If I miss we can use that as the first incision and you will jump to the front of the line for emergency surgery!	1.2235	0.05888	85	71	9	5
3449	My rubber hammer’s broken.	1.2235	0.05391	85	69	13	3
3450	Damn, I missed.	1.2235	0.05125	85	68	15	2
3451	As you see, the procedure is entirely safe.	1.2235	0.04844	85	67	17	1
3452	And, of course, you'll be anesthetized!	1.2235	0.04546	85	66	19	0
3453	Self-checkout Care, here if you need assistance	1.2235	0.05645	85	70	11	4
3454	The guy before you moved.	1.2235	0.05391	85	69	13	3
3455	As you can see, I have never missed, but you are Patient 13, so…..	1.2234	0.04820	94	75	17	2
3456	What do you say - I've got one more knife before I retire.	1.2234	0.04576	94	74	19	1
3457	Your results are in and it looks like you can afford to gain a few more pounds.	1.2234	0.05052	94	76	15	3
3458	I've yet to cut an artery	1.2234	0.05273	94	77	13	4
3459	It's cutting edge medical technology	1.2234	0.04576	94	74	19	1
3460	I haven't lost a patient because of a slip of the knife, but unfortunately, I may not have had a successful operation.	1.2233	0.04562	103	82	19	2
3461	Yeah, they’ve really relaxed the parameters for the Hippocratic Oath.	1.2233	0.04766	103	83	17	3
3462	Now show me where the pain isn’t.	1.2222	0.04682	90	71	18	1
3463	As you can see, I seldom miss.	1.2222	0.05827	81	67	10	4
3464	I did my residency with a pacifist hospital.	1.2222	0.04934	72	56	16	0
3465	This method requires only five small incisions.	1.2222	0.04969	81	64	16	1
3466	You can't see where I missed	1.2222	0.04969	81	64	16	1
3467	Good news, your prostate biopsy showed nothing sinister.	1.2222	0.05188	90	73	14	3
3468	I don't think you HAVE to worry	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
3469	It’s patient participation.	1.2222	0.05316	72	57	14	1
3470	Can you trust me now?	1.2222	0.05188	90	73	14	3
3471	It wasn't Ed Ames on Johnny Carson.	1.2222	0.06086	81	68	8	5
3472	Business was on the uptick at Randy's Placebo Surgery Center LLC.	1.2222	0.06007	72	59	10	3
3473	You'll see we debated a number of entry points	1.2222	0.05672	72	58	12	2
3474	I'm pretty sure I can cure that headache and you won't feel a thing.	1.2222	0.04941	90	72	16	2
3475	You'll just feel a little pinch.	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
3476	Patient diagnosis never takes more than twelve throws.	1.2222	0.04934	72	56	16	0
3477	You're gonna be lucky number thirteen.	1.2222	0.06007	72	59	10	3
3478	Now we can proceed to the rest of your insurance claim forms.	1.2222	0.04682	90	71	18	1
3479	I promise, you won't feel a thing.	1.2222	0.04648	81	63	18	0
3480	100% of my patients stick to this diet plan.	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
3481	You have done very well, so far	1.2222	0.04969	81	64	16	1
3482	One more. Now get back up there.	1.2222	0.04941	90	72	16	2
3483	This is what clones are for!	1.2222	0.06324	72	60	8	4
3484	Well, they say his name is Lucky.	1.2222	0.05087	99	81	14	4
3485	Taller than that and you’re a goner	1.2222	0.04969	81	64	16	1
3486	We'll be working on the inner thighs today.	1.2222	0.04934	72	56	16	0
3487	However, there are risks with this noninvasive type of surgery.	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
3488	I told you I’ve been in private practice.	1.2222	0.05087	99	81	14	4
3489	This is where we earn your trust.	1.2222	0.04682	90	71	18	1
3490	You reflexes are a bit slow.	1.2222	0.05188	90	73	14	3
3491	Of course you get two less knives with short sleeves.	1.2222	0.04941	90	72	16	2
3492	As you can see the clinical test was a success. we thank you for volunteering for this step.	1.2222	0.05423	90	74	12	4
3493	Tomorrow, during your surgery, its your turn. Haven't missed yet.	1.2222	0.04682	90	71	18	1
3494	You appear to be in good shape."	1.2222	0.05423	90	74	12	4
3495	I typically miss only one in 13.	1.2222	0.05672	72	58	12	2
3496	Your spleen looked fine—but I’m a carny, not a doctor.	1.2222	0.04682	90	71	18	1
3497	No side effects whatsoever.	1.2222	0.05188	90	73	14	3
3498	I’ve performed this surgical procedure so many times I can do it blindfold. Well, sort of.	1.2222	0.06007	72	59	10	3
3499	I have one more knife and I understand you may have prostate problems. Let's find out.	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
3500	Don't worry, I practice minimally invasive surgery.	1.2222	0.05316	72	57	14	1
3501	unfortunately,the mri was inconclusive.	1.2222	0.04969	81	64	16	1
3502	OK. I'm gonna need you to bend over and grab your ankles	1.2222	0.05648	90	75	10	5
3503	When Obama care is not enough,we turn to pay per view to fund the Medicare.	1.2222	0.05188	90	73	14	3
3504	Trust me. Arthroscopic is for wimps.	1.2222	0.04969	81	64	16	1
3505	You see, in quantum therapy, objects thrown at patients appear to act as both a wave and a particle.	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
3506	The good news is we didn’t kill you!	1.2222	0.05423	90	74	12	4
3507	As you can see, Ed Ames hasn't had his shot yet.	1.2222	0.05556	81	66	12	3
3508	Just a little good luck ritual I do before every surgery.	1.2222	0.06007	72	59	10	3
3509	Our new technology is cutting edge.	1.2222	0.05316	72	57	14	1
3510	So, still against anesthesia?	1.2222	0.05316	72	57	14	1
3511	If you pretend you're already dead, I promise you won't feel a thing!	1.2222	0.04941	90	72	16	2
3512	It's completely safe — 100% success rate if I don't throw this last knife.	1.2222	0.04648	81	63	18	0
3513	Our “Queezy Crotch” test does an excellent job in measuring anxiety levels.	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
3514	My practice not only endeavors to heal but also to entertain.	1.2222	0.04969	81	64	16	1
3515	Sorry Mr. McCarthy, it usually doesn’t take this long	1.2222	0.05672	72	58	12	2
3516	I did my own research	1.2222	0.04941	90	72	16	2
3517	You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take	1.2222	0.06576	63	52	8	3
3518	Now are you satisfied that my hand is steady? Can we proceed with your open heart surgery?	1.2222	0.05316	72	57	14	1
3519	This procedure sharpens my skills and as you can see, has a 100% safety record.	1.2212	0.04312	104	82	21	1
3520	How's it feel to be under the knife?	1.2211	0.05004	95	77	15	3
3521	Now let me demonstrate your radiation option.	1.2211	0.05223	95	78	13	4
3522	This is my warm up for your open heart surgery.	1.2211	0.04775	95	76	17	2
3523	Not to worry. Everyone walks away, scathed or unscathed!	1.2211	0.04534	95	75	19	1
3524	Don't worry. Our machine learning algorithm predicts the next thrower will do as well --- even though he's blind.	1.2211	0.05223	95	78	13	4
3525	Don't worry, I'm also a surgeon.	1.2211	0.04775	95	76	17	2
3526	Lucky for you, I’ve had a lot of practice.	1.2211	0.04775	95	76	17	2
3527	Granted, no medical procedure has a 100% success ratio. You win some, you lose some. But I think you can see that we've had pretty good results so far.	1.2211	0.04534	95	75	19	1
3528	The procedure is 100% safe. As you can see, I haven’t missed yet!	1.2211	0.04775	95	76	17	2
3529	It wasn't a test; more a hobby.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
3530	As your surgeon I can't miss.	1.2209	0.05585	86	71	11	4
3531	Rest assured; I practice a lot	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
3532	I'll be more accurate when I perform the surgery.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
3533	By day I'm a doctor and by night a performer. For you there is nothing to worry about....your wearing a protective robe. But if something does happen I'm a doctor.	1.2209	0.05825	86	72	9	5
3534	It's that initial incision that's hard to get just right.	1.2209	0.04794	86	68	17	1
3535	Naturally, the therapy we've outlined for you may incur some minor risk.	1.2209	0.04794	86	68	17	1
3536	There’s always room for one more.	1.2209	0.04500	86	67	19	0
3537	Your toxic aura has been surgically eliminated.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
3538	As you can see, I rarely miss.	1.2209	0.04500	86	67	19	0
3539	Time to reestablish trust in the doctor-patient relationship.	1.2209	0.04500	86	67	19	0
3540	Forget killer instinct. You're a visionary. You see the big picture.	1.2209	0.05072	86	69	15	2
3541	I thought you wanted evidence based practice?	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
3542	Your anti-magnetic field is working quite nicely !	1.2208	0.05735	77	63	11	3
3543	As you can see, our motto here at the clinic is to do no harm.	1.2208	0.05735	77	63	11	3
3544	After the results, I can assure your heart is in great condition.	1.2208	0.05104	77	61	15	1
3545	I practice non-invasive surgery. Usually.	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
3546	This is your hole. I made it for you.	1.2208	0.06026	77	64	9	4
3547	Don’t worry. You’ll be lying down on the operating table.	1.2208	0.05104	77	61	15	1
3548	Now, about that deviated septum.	1.2208	0.05104	77	61	15	1
3549	Don't worry, 13 is my Lucky Number...	1.2208	0.05104	77	61	15	1
3550	If I miss, you get 10% off your co-pay.	1.2208	0.05104	77	61	15	1
3551	Fear is the best medicine, after humor	1.2208	0.04758	77	60	17	0
3552	I don't miss often.	1.2208	0.05104	77	61	15	1
3553	I think I know where I left those Taylor Swift tickets.	1.2208	0.05735	77	63	11	3
3554	IT'S PART OF OUR 'WHO DO YOU TRUST' THERAPY	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
3555	I scare the disease out of you.	1.2208	0.04758	77	60	17	0
3556	It's Western medicine's answer to acupuncture.	1.2208	0.05104	77	61	15	1
3557	We recommend laproscopic surgery as more accurate.	1.2208	0.04758	77	60	17	0
3558	Ok, I didn't really graduate med school, but I do know my way around a knlfe.	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
3559	It' s funny, we only hear back from the misses.	1.2208	0.05104	77	61	15	1
3560	After running extensive examinations our machine has concluded that you are infact not a serial killer.	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
3561	Our office takes the Hippocratic Oath seriously.	1.2208	0.05735	77	63	11	3
3562	You tell me where to stab ?	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
3563	Vasectomies weren’t popular this year.	1.2208	0.05104	77	61	15	1
3564	The nurses are on strike, so this is the best we can do without them.	1.2208	0.05104	77	61	15	1
3565	You'll be fine. Based on the previous test, you're 100% safe.	1.2208	0.04758	77	60	17	0
3566	At least your peripheral vision seems to be intact.	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
3567	I've had 12 patients already this morning - tests reflexes, blood pressure, lung capacity . . . and deeply held superstitions.	1.2206	0.05869	68	55	11	2
3568	We found the placebo is working better than the actual surgery.	1.2206	0.05869	68	55	11	2
3569	Trust your doctor - he will never hurt you!	1.2206	0.05869	68	55	11	2
3570	You're a clone but have no thought. Congress here you come!	1.2206	0.06231	68	56	9	3
3571	There's honestly nothing to worry about	1.2206	0.05869	68	55	11	2
3572	Let's not poke holes in my diagnosis.	1.2203	0.06427	59	48	9	2
3573	Our surgery interns really appreciate your participation...	1.2200	0.04837	100	81	16	3
3574	No need to worry. As you can see I am using a new instrument for each patient.	1.2200	0.04623	100	80	18	2
3575	We couldn’t get the rest out of the body” yo	1.2200	0.05041	100	82	14	4
3576	After all the tests, we still cannot find the cause of that stabbing pain.	1.2198	0.05369	91	75	12	4
3577	It’s okay…if I miss we get to jump the line for the OR.	1.2198	0.05369	91	75	12	4
3578	If you chose to stand in the silhouette, your surgery will cost you 50% less than being in the OR. But your success rate takes a dive. What do you want to do?	1.2198	0.04636	91	72	18	1
3579	You should see me when I'm sober	1.2198	0.05369	91	75	12	4
3580	Actually,the idea is to stay inside the lines.	1.2198	0.05136	91	74	14	3
3581	Am I Board certified? Sure, in Fiberboard.	1.2198	0.04893	91	73	16	2
3582	Usually I miss a lot, today I got lucky. I throw them better when I’m drunk	1.2198	0.05136	91	74	14	3
3583	I like to botch my executions the right way - with style	1.2195	0.04916	82	65	16	1
3584	Don't worry those were all last second decisions NOT to get a vasectomy Frank Buckley Andover MA	1.2195	0.05762	82	68	10	4
3585	That's just me--before surgery.	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
3586	I think we've been circumventing the issue	1.2195	0.04599	82	64	18	0
3587	There's a very low risk of complications, and in most patients, no scar!	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
3588	Trust me - we’ll get the appendix on the next one	1.2195	0.05494	82	67	12	3
3589	Maybe "x" SHOULD mark the spot.	1.2195	0.04916	82	65	16	1
3590	I perform my surgeries remotely.	1.2195	0.04916	82	65	16	1
3591	As you can see,no one ever gets stabbed.	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
3592	Given a few more tries, I can assure you it will be a successful circumcision.	1.2195	0.04916	82	65	16	1
3593	i'm sorry, are you the one here for the circumcision?	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
3594	My favorite clinical rotation was urology.	1.2195	0.06017	82	69	8	5
3595	I'm just as precise in the operating theater.	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
3596	Sometimes our surgeries don’t work out as planned .	1.2195	0.04599	82	64	18	0
3597	First, let me test your reflexes.	1.2195	0.04599	82	64	18	0
3598	I might have better luck this time if you do the Macarena.	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
3599	As you can see, the aura removal procedure is completely safe and effective.	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
3600	The trick is to think outside the Botox.	1.2193	0.04946	114	95	13	6
3601	For whatever reason I tend to be more accurate in the OR.	1.2192	0.06244	73	61	8	4
3602	We haven’t had a positive scan yet but we believe you might be the first.	1.2192	0.05251	73	58	14	1
3603	We are only missing one... guess?	1.2192	0.05602	73	59	12	2
3604	And I had my eyes closed, too!	1.2192	0.05251	73	58	14	1
3605	Hey Bro, let’s try this on you first!	1.2192	0.05602	73	59	12	2
3606	You did say your here for the vasectomy. Right?	1.2192	0.05932	73	60	10	3
3607	I'm excited to try this new procedure for the first time	1.2192	0.05602	73	59	12	2
3608	Prostate exam is last.	1.2192	0.06244	73	61	8	4
3609	My question to you is , “ Are you feeling lucky?”	1.2192	0.05602	73	59	12	2
3610	Your insurance only covers you if I miss	1.2192	0.05251	73	58	14	1
3611	No worries,just stay still!	1.2192	0.05602	73	59	12	2
3612	I like to practice a little before, you know, jumping right in there.	1.2192	0.05251	73	58	14	1
3613	So, now that you have seen my skill, do you feel safe under my knife for your surgery?	1.2192	0.05251	73	58	14	1
3614	The next step in Adrenal Gland rehabilitation will be the last.	1.2192	0.05602	73	59	12	2
3615	There's an element of risk in any procedure...	1.2192	0.05602	73	59	12	2
3616	It's not thumb rule, this is science.	1.2192	0.05251	73	58	14	1
3617	But the good news is we didn't find a tumor.	1.2192	0.05602	73	59	12	2
3618	We could say that you have really dodged the bullet.	1.2190	0.04276	105	83	21	1
3619	Our would you prefer I play the William Tell Overture?	1.2188	0.04492	96	76	19	1
3620	Actually, it's a test for me.	1.2188	0.05665	64	51	12	1
3621	Please step over here for your second opinion.	1.2188	0.04241	96	75	21	0
3622	It’s our latest noninvasive surgery technique.	1.2188	0.05173	96	79	13	4
3623	I am not sure you can call it technology, but it’s definitely cutting-edge	1.2188	0.06087	64	52	10	2
3624	This is just a mock-up. We will customize to your procedure.	1.2184	0.05019	87	70	15	2
3625	Welcome to outpatient surgery.	1.2184	0.05526	87	72	11	4
3626	You are suffering from a knife block.	1.2184	0.05019	87	70	15	2
3627	I'll admit, I'm a little rough around the edges.	1.2184	0.05279	87	71	13	3
3628	I know your insurance only covers six treatments a year, but I’d like to see you back on a weekly basis ...	1.2184	0.05019	87	70	15	2
3629	If you will notice, there are twelve knives sticking into the wall - Are you feeling lucky?	1.2184	0.04455	87	68	19	0
3630	Now do you trust me to do your vasectomy?	1.2184	0.04746	87	69	17	1
3631	This is a new medical procedure that we are experimenting with.	1.2184	0.05019	87	70	15	2
3632	All Knives Out!	1.2184	0.04746	87	69	17	1
3633	Now we need to test your visual reaction time	1.2184	0.05279	87	71	13	3
3634	You could say the laser technique is more predictable.	1.2184	0.04455	87	68	19	0
3635	It’s a surgeon’s way of practicing his craft	1.2184	0.05526	87	72	11	4
3636	What are your thoughts ?	1.2184	0.05279	87	71	13	3
3637	How about I throw two at once and make it 14?	1.2184	0.05019	87	70	15	2
3638	Yours will be my first vasectomy procedure.	1.2184	0.04455	87	68	19	0
3639	I'm an orthopedist. It's the cardiologists who use paint by numbers.	1.2184	0.05019	87	70	15	2
3640	It's similar to the stock market: Past performance is no guarantee of future results.	1.2184	0.04746	87	69	17	1
3641	We find it's very effective in controlling spasms.	1.2179	0.05366	78	63	13	2
3642	See how precise I am? You have nothing to worry about.	1.2179	0.05366	78	63	13	2
3643	What have you got to lose?	1.2179	0.05668	78	64	11	3
3644	This is what we call surgical prep.	1.2179	0.05954	78	65	9	4
3645	9 out of ten doctors won't miss.	1.2179	0.05046	78	62	15	1
3646	The test indicates a below average risk for traumatic death.	1.2179	0.05046	78	62	15	1
3647	I'm good now, of course, but you should have seen my first board.	1.2179	0.05046	78	62	15	1
3648	It helps relieve pre-op jitters. Mine of course,not yours… you’re doomed.	1.2179	0.05046	78	62	15	1
3649	Well, look, if you want someone to roll out a red carpet and play with your dick a little bit beforehand, you can take your sorry ass to Toronto or Vancouver. But in Saskatchewan, this is how we do euthanasia.	1.2179	0.06228	78	66	7	5
3650	As you can see, the center of the wall has remained entirely undamaged.	1.2179	0.05954	78	65	9	4
3651	Even with cutting edge technology, we haven’t been able to diagnose your problem	1.2179	0.05046	78	62	15	1
3652	301, double in, double out. I throw first.	1.2179	0.05668	78	64	11	3
3653	Your insurance requires this test before we can proceed	1.2179	0.05668	78	64	11	3
3654	No worries, I'm wearing my good luck horseshoe.	1.2179	0.05366	78	63	13	2
3655	Don't worry. It's a routine laproscopic procedure.	1.2179	0.05366	78	63	13	2
3656	I’m sorry to say the surgery was unsuccessful but I nailed ‘pin the chalk line on the murder’”	1.2179	0.05954	78	65	9	4
3657	Do I have good aim or what? Remember who’s holding the knife :)	1.2179	0.05046	78	62	15	1
3658	It’s not as precise, but the X-ray is broken so we’re going with this	1.2179	0.05668	78	64	11	3
3659	Don't worry. Just one more and you'll get your $10 Starbucks gift card.	1.2179	0.05366	78	63	13	2
3660	Don't mind the chalk.	1.2179	0.05366	78	63	13	2
3661	Don’t worry….the complication rate is only 8%	1.2178	0.04361	101	80	20	1
3662	It's part of the admissions process.	1.2178	0.04794	101	82	16	3
3663	Now, are you ready to be sawed in half ?	1.2178	0.04361	101	80	20	1
3664	Well,that shouldn't happened.	1.2178	0.04582	101	81	18	2
3665	This motherfucker.	1.2174	0.06149	69	57	9	3
3666	Barnum and Bailey will pay for your surgery	1.2174	0.05535	92	77	10	5
3667	Don't worry. Your vasectomy will only take a few seconds.	1.2174	0.05792	69	56	11	2
3668	I'm fairly sure you fit the profile. . . .	1.2174	0.05086	92	75	14	3
3669	I think you are now ready for the axe therapy.	1.2174	0.05792	69	56	11	2
3670	See, it's the perfect cookie cutter.	1.2174	0.04592	92	73	18	1
3671	Looks better than I thought	1.2174	0.05792	69	56	11	2
3672	It's important that you remain perfectly still during surgery.	1.2174	0.04845	92	74	16	2
3673	This procedure may sting a little	1.2174	0.05315	92	76	12	4
3674	You'd be surprised at how good we are since Covid.	1.2174	0.06486	69	58	7	4
3675	I've always been an 'outside the lines' guy... next week I'm goin' in!	1.2174	0.04845	92	74	16	2
3676	Shall we see how the diet is going?	1.2174	0.05315	92	76	12	4
3677	So far everything looks great.	1.2169	0.05950	83	70	8	5
3678	Are you ready for your close up now?	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
3679	I always aim for the crotch.	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
3680	Just need to mark the area	1.2169	0.05156	83	67	14	2
3681	Before we continue we need to establish a relationship of trust.	1.2169	0.04863	83	66	16	1
3682	Looks like it's time for a little surgery... or a murder-ectomy, whichever comes first.	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
3683	This will help you manifest a healed shoulder	1.2169	0.05156	83	67	14	2
3684	I have a long history in this practice so,rest assured that you are in the hands of a doctor on the edge of some penetrating discoveries.	1.2169	0.05156	83	67	14	2
3685	Don’t be afraid. I’ll have your gall bladder out in no time.	1.2169	0.05156	83	67	14	2
3686	My success rate for this procedure is one in twelve.	1.2169	0.04551	83	65	18	0
3687	Now can you pre in a cup?	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
3688	Now let's check your posture.	1.2169	0.04551	83	65	18	0
3689	Things got a little out of hand when Superman came to the Christmas party.	1.2169	0.05156	83	67	14	2
3690	Here are some possible side effects.	1.2169	0.05156	83	67	14	2
3691	First bend your arm.	1.2169	0.05698	83	69	10	4
3692	I told you you wouldn’t feel a thing.	1.2169	0.04863	83	66	16	1
3693	I admit my prostate exam is unorthodox.”	1.2169	0.05698	83	69	10	4
3694	We train patients to keep perfectly still. Most of them eventually get discharged and get to go home.	1.2169	0.05156	83	67	14	2
3695	It's your lucky day. This is knife number 13!	1.2169	0.05156	83	67	14	2
3696	PPO insurance gets you access to the entire surgical team!	1.2169	0.04551	83	65	18	0
3697	Don’t worry, I’ll have it down before your procedure.	1.2169	0.04863	83	66	16	1
3698	Now let’s try one between your legs.	1.2169	0.05950	83	70	8	5
3699	This is more reliable than BMI indexes.	1.2167	0.06330	60	49	9	2
3700	We need to pinpoint your problem.	1.2167	0.05867	60	48	11	1
3701	A real-life example of statistical curve-fitting	1.2165	0.04452	97	77	19	1
3702	I went to a Quaker medical school.	1.2165	0.04452	97	77	19	1
3703	No problem. You're having a vasectomy. I'll just aim for your heart.	1.2165	0.05124	97	80	13	4
3704	Yes, you could go get a second opinion, but I wouldn't recommend it.	1.2165	0.04687	97	78	17	2
3705	Remember, we have waived your insurance copay for the surgery!	1.2162	0.05533	74	60	12	2
3706	We call it the non-invasive surgery pre-op board. By the way, you look familiar.	1.2162	0.05188	74	59	14	1
3707	You may have to shave off a few pounds	1.2162	0.04818	74	58	16	0
3708	Professionally speaking,I am a very strong proponent of minimally invasive surgery	1.2162	0.04818	74	58	16	0
3709	First do nooooo...don't tell me....Herm? Horm? Whatever.	1.2162	0.05188	74	59	14	1
3710	Your diagnosis is clear-cut.	1.2162	0.05188	74	59	14	1
3711	I know to a layman, diagnosis can seem sort of hit or miss. But eventually, a picture begins to emerge.	1.2162	0.05858	74	61	10	3
3712	It goes against the hippocratic oath to hit the target.	1.2162	0.04818	74	58	16	0
3713	It's my low tech version of The Stress Test.	1.2162	0.05533	74	60	12	2
3714	Don’t worry. I never use a blindfold and I sterilize all my equipment.	1.2162	0.05533	74	60	12	2
3715	It helps to calm my nerves before surgery.	1.2162	0.05188	74	59	14	1
3716	Adult circumcision is more art than science	1.2162	0.05188	74	59	14	1
3717	For this scan you'll have to hold very still	1.2162	0.05188	74	59	14	1
3718	This treatment a bit old school, but the results are immediate	1.2162	0.04818	74	58	16	0
3719	I like to limber up a little before an operation.	1.2162	0.05533	74	60	12	2
3720	I've got great news, Hank. The tests revealed that the politician in you is now dormant!	1.2162	0.05188	74	59	14	1
3721	I told you it’s not my first rodeo	1.2162	0.05533	74	60	12	2
3722	So are you ready for your vasectomy sir?	1.2162	0.04818	74	58	16	0
3723	For your operation, the surgical team has discussed how to split the charges...	1.2162	0.05533	74	60	12	2
3724	This time I think we can get to the heart of the problem.	1.2162	0.05858	74	61	10	3
3725	I’ve heard of scaring the hiccups away,but I don’t think it will work for my prostate cancer!	1.2162	0.05533	74	60	12	2
3726	I'm so high	1.2162	0.05188	74	59	14	1
3727	Don't worry. With our newest health assessment, test results are practically immediate.	1.2162	0.05188	74	59	14	1
3728	Nice, it opens from the back...	1.2162	0.05533	74	60	12	2
3729	We have found that patients like to "pick their lucky knife," so go ahead!	1.2159	0.05225	88	72	13	3
3730	I told you I’m very accurate; you have nothing to fear.	1.2159	0.05225	88	72	13	3
3731	I'm not worried, my malpractice insurance is paid up.	1.2159	0.04698	88	70	17	1
3732	O Couse there are options beside surgery but I don't recommend them	1.2159	0.04968	88	71	15	2
3733	So far,I haven’t had any complications from this procedure	1.2159	0.04698	88	70	17	1
3734	Okay, okay, I’ll lose a few inches.	1.2159	0.05225	88	72	13	3
3735	Next, we'll juggle your insurance and then make your money disappear.	1.2159	0.05225	88	72	13	3
3736	We call this procedure the baker’s dozen	1.2159	0.05927	88	75	7	6
3737	Your knife-immune system seems to be working well	1.2159	0.04968	88	71	15	2
3738	I think you're ready for the rotating gurney.	1.2159	0.04968	88	71	15	2
3739	In med school it's surgery 101	1.2159	0.04411	88	69	19	0
3740	With growing popularity of the World Knife Throwing League, I now combine my talents for outpatient circumcisions and Jewish bris ceremonies.	1.2159	0.05469	88	73	11	4
3741	It is my new incentive for weight loss	1.2159	0.04698	88	70	17	1
3742	Four out of five doctors agree on this weight loss method.	1.2159	0.04968	88	71	15	2
3743	This was a side major in case I was ever to lose my doctor license.	1.2157	0.04751	102	83	16	3
3744	Its a standard test. Anyone dumb enough to take it is really sick...	1.2157	0.04951	102	84	14	4
3745	To lose weight, accountability is key.	1.2157	0.04323	102	81	20	1
3746	We cleared it through HR for political correctness....	1.2154	0.06002	65	53	10	2
3747	Nothing to worry about. We have several units of AB negative on hand.	1.2154	0.05587	65	52	12	1
3748	As you can see, I'm very good with a knife.	1.2154	0.05139	65	51	14	0
3749	Don’t worry, I’d had a few drinks before the test	1.2154	0.06002	65	53	10	2
3750	Eventually I’ll know where to start	1.2154	0.06002	65	53	10	2
3751	It's a very rigorous double-blind study.	1.2154	0.06002	65	53	10	2
3752	Wait until you see what I can do with a scalpel.	1.2154	0.05587	65	52	12	1
3753	See, no Knives in.	1.2154	0.06390	65	54	8	3
3754	Primitive but effective. You'll never visit a doctor again.	1.2154	0.05587	65	52	12	1
3755	This mock-up shows how we remove as much human error as possible from your surgery."	1.2152	0.04990	79	63	15	1
3756	I'm sure your eyesight will improve once we put in the drops, then you'll get the good spots.	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
3757	Let’s get a second opinion	1.2152	0.04990	79	63	15	1
3758	I’m beta testing my new at home appendectomy kit	1.2152	0.05603	79	65	11	3
3759	I'll have to call my insurance company, fast.	1.2152	0.05885	79	66	9	4
3760	The results of the exploratory surgery didn't tell us much."	1.2152	0.04653	79	62	17	0
3761	Does 13 give you any problems?	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
3762	The test can be used to diagnose anxiety.	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
3763	Don't worry, this procedure has a 93% success rate.	1.2152	0.05885	79	66	9	4
3764	There is another way we can do this.	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
3765	I know it seemed extreme at first but look at how much weight you've lost.	1.2152	0.04990	79	63	15	1
3766	This week only the vasectomy comes free of charge.	1.2152	0.05603	79	65	11	3
3767	Well maybe if you had a better health care plan...	1.2152	0.04990	79	63	15	1
3768	Damn! No Speaker as yet!	1.2152	0.04990	79	63	15	1
3769	It figures, you’re not cut out to be a surgeon.	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
3770	Don’t worry; I also have a silver bullet.	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
3771	The operation was a success.	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
3772	Well, let’s just see if you’ve been sticking to your diet Brian.	1.2152	0.05603	79	65	11	3
3773	Socially distant surgery is an up and coming newer field of medicine and I am not being replaced by a bloody robot!	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
3774	Did you say your name was Neal, or Neo?	1.2152	0.04990	79	63	15	1
3775	So…your going to operate on my aura?	1.2152	0.04990	79	63	15	1
3776	My surgeries leave no scars.	1.2151	0.05036	93	76	14	3
3777	You should see what I can do with axes.	1.2151	0.04548	93	74	18	1
3778	You have a 50-50 chance	1.2151	0.05036	93	76	14	3
3779	You didn't die. You can now just live in fear.	1.2151	0.05036	93	76	14	3
3780	Don’t worry … thirteen is only an unlucky building floor number - you’ll be just fine.”	1.2151	0.04798	93	75	16	2
3781	The operation is safe, but not always effective.	1.2143	0.04812	84	67	16	1
3782	You should have seen the control group.	1.2143	0.05342	70	56	13	1
3783	Ok Bob, I think we are ready. Step right up and we will get started with your vasectomy.	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
3784	Which section of medical malpractice does this fall under?	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
3785	I ran away to join the finest European traveling medical school	1.2143	0.04644	98	79	17	2
3786	And this is our faith in your surgeon test.	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
3787	We've found this next test up to 90% accurate.	1.2143	0.05077	98	81	13	4
3788	I'm just sayin' the gown might throw me off.	1.2143	0.04940	70	55	15	0
3789	I'd like to take a stab at your predicament.	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
3790	Now, for your next stress test, try to relax...	1.2143	0.06068	70	58	9	3
3791	It’s because I can’t stand the sight of blood.	1.2143	0.06400	70	59	7	4
3792	I have a very high success rate!	1.2143	0.05717	70	57	11	2
3793	Hey, did you ever watch the Johnny Carson Show?	1.2143	0.05375	84	69	12	3
3794	This is cutt	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
3795	Understand, this is cutting edge technology.	1.2143	0.06068	70	58	9	3
3796	Now, doesn’t seeing this out your mind at rest?	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
3797	We specialize in cutting edge technology.	1.2143	0.05636	84	70	10	4
3798	This next treatment is for your anxiety. Side effects include cuts, stab wounds, bleeding and fainting.	1.2143	0.05342	70	56	13	1
3799	Next we’ turn off the lights to see if a stab-in-the-dark operation works better .	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
3800	You're aware that the insurance pays only for the first ten knives, right?	1.2143	0.05636	84	70	10	4
3801	Wanna take a stab at it?	1.2143	0.05375	84	69	12	3
3802	Looks like you’re good for another year.	1.2143	0.05342	70	56	13	1
3803	How good are you at surgery?	1.2143	0.05717	70	57	11	2
3804	If anything can stop your shakes, this is it.	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
3805	It's the latest in cutting-edge surgery.	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
3806	Lookin' sharp!	1.2143	0.05717	70	57	11	2
3807	As you can see, Phase 1 of our clinical trial was a huge success.	1.2143	0.05342	70	56	13	1
3808	You're fine, but your aura is a murderer.	1.2143	0.05375	84	69	12	3
3809	Oh this? This is just how I relax. Your procedure is going to be super invasive.	1.2143	0.05717	70	57	11	2
3810	Looks like your postures getting better	1.2143	0.05342	70	56	13	1
3811	hey doc, I think the medication for my anxiety and trust issues is working	1.2143	0.05717	70	57	11	2
3812	And you’re sure this will cure my Parkinson’s?	1.2136	0.04503	103	83	18	2
3813	Your BMI seems to fall within the healthy standard for your age, considering you're unscathed.	1.2136	0.04503	103	83	18	2
3814	It really helps with my medical malpractice rates.	1.2136	0.04907	103	85	14	4
3815	I think the surgery went well.	1.2135	0.05412	89	74	11	4
3816	We have surrounded your condition.	1.2135	0.04368	89	70	19	0
3817	If you end up with five or more stuck in you, your surgery and the recovery room are free.	1.2135	0.04651	89	71	17	1
3818	Practicing for circumcision?	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
3819	12-1 is an encouraging record, you have to admit.	1.2135	0.04918	89	72	15	2
3820	Odds are I can’t say.	1.2135	0.04918	89	72	15	2
3821	Our team threw several stabs at your case.	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
3822	Afterwards we’ll know exactly how much to adjust your anxiety medication.	1.2135	0.04918	89	72	15	2
3823	I took an oath. Never harm the patient.	1.2135	0.05412	89	74	11	4
3824	You’ve herd the saying, “time heals all wounds”	1.2135	0.04918	89	72	15	2
3825	You see it? You are not longer shaking, the treatment has been successful...	1.2135	0.04651	89	71	17	1
3826	So you’re telling me you’re an expert, right?	1.2135	0.05643	89	75	9	5
3827	To put it bluntly, I’m afraid it’s impossible to operate on you.	1.2135	0.04651	89	71	17	1
3828	It’s part of our pre-op.	1.2133	0.05467	75	61	12	2
3829	I always leave one out because I never dared do the crotch shot.	1.2133	0.05127	75	60	14	1
3830	When the Circus doesn't pay enough... I work for Medi-Cal.	1.2133	0.06379	75	64	6	5
3831	Cures you by scaring the crap out of you.	1.2133	0.05787	75	62	10	3
3832	The next shot for you is named for Ed Ames.	1.2133	0.05127	75	60	14	1
3833	Stand there and don't move.	1.2133	0.05467	75	61	12	2
3834	As you can see, surgery isn't an exact science.	1.2133	0.05127	75	60	14	1
3835	We’re just gonna take a little off the sides.”	1.2133	0.05127	75	60	14	1
3836	So this is homeopathic surgery?	1.2133	0.06090	75	63	8	4
3837	Where is the smiley face?	1.2133	0.05467	75	61	12	2
3838	Where did you say it was bothering you?	1.2133	0.04762	75	59	16	0
3839	"I did my surgical residency at Barnum & Bailey. Why do you ask?	1.2133	0.05467	75	61	12	2
3840	Prostate surgery is always a stab in the dark	1.2133	0.05787	75	62	10	3
3841	Well Larry, I have one last throw to identify your sickness.	1.2133	0.06090	75	63	8	4
3842	We call this 'practicing medicine.'	1.2133	0.05467	75	61	12	2
3843	Our medical training was from the Stormtrooper School of Aiming	1.2133	0.05467	75	61	12	2
3844	There are some inherent risks but not to worry,the procedure is completely covered by your HMO plan.	1.2133	0.05467	75	61	12	2
3845	Don’t worry, I’m cutting board certified.	1.2133	0.05467	75	61	12	2
3846	The diagnosis looks pretty clear cut.	1.2133	0.05467	75	61	12	2
3847	Impressive! But I still have appendicitis.	1.2133	0.05467	75	61	12	2
3848	Chances are good that you’ll survive this procedure.	1.2131	0.07057	61	52	5	4
3849	And that is how dangerous your surgery will be.	1.2131	0.06235	61	50	9	2
3850	Remind me again? It was a vasectomy, right?	1.2131	0.06235	61	50	9	2
3851	Relax, I’ve done this a hundred times.	1.2131	0.07057	61	52	5	4
3852	Good thing I’m not your acupuncturist.	1.2128	0.04505	94	75	18	1
3853	Thank-you for being an important part of our surgical practice.	1.2128	0.05427	94	79	10	5
3854	Twelve is my personal best, but I feel lucky today.	1.2128	0.04505	94	75	18	1
3855	Are you choosing incisionless surgery or not?	1.2128	0.05212	94	78	12	4
3856	Anger management courses are really paying off	1.2128	0.04752	94	76	16	2
3857	See? Trust me, you can’t possibly be hit.	1.2128	0.04987	94	77	14	3
3858	Studies show a 99.9% chance you have nothing to worry about. And a mere 1% margin of error."	1.2128	0.04987	94	77	14	3
3859	I've got your diagnosis narrowed down.	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
3860	Here, throw this knife; wherever it hits, that’s where we’ll operate.	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
3861	We often use this method when we can't determine with certainty what we want to operate on.	1.2125	0.04934	80	64	15	1
3862	Sorry Leo, it was her idea.	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
3863	And they say surgeons don’t care	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
3864	Well, it's one way to keep your insurance premiums down. Less paperwork, too.	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
3865	I'm a BDS-MD.	1.2125	0.06083	80	68	7	5
3866	I specialize in "dermatology correction"	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
3867	I try not to get cocky.	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
3868	Well, I did say there could be complications with your end-of-life option	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
3869	As you can see, I am very accurate.	1.2125	0.04934	80	64	15	1
3870	Remember when we tried this in grade school and you lost your arm?”	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
3871	You seem to be something of an outlier.	1.2125	0.04602	80	63	17	0
3872	If you think this is bad, just wait till you get the bill.	1.2125	0.04602	80	63	17	0
3873	What I lack in sensibility, I make up for in mastery.	1.2125	0.04934	80	64	15	1
3874	The risks of the procedure are minimal	1.2125	0.04602	80	63	17	0
3875	Stabbing in the back is so 90s. It’s about stabbing in the front now.	1.2125	0.04934	80	64	15	1
3876	It's a tried and true procedure, as in I've tried it and it's truly a procedure.	1.2125	0.04602	80	63	17	0
3877	'Now this next bit is the one I haven't practised.'	1.2125	0.04934	80	64	15	1
3878	Just don’t get goosebumps and you’ll be fine.	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
3879	That's why they call it ""practicing"" medicine.	1.2121	0.05919	66	54	10	2
3880	I am nervous. My experience is that you use knives to do surgery and know only cutting the patient"	1.2121	0.05071	66	52	14	0
3881	That's why it's called "medical practice."	1.2121	0.05919	66	54	10	2
3882	Any allergies?	1.2121	0.05919	66	54	10	2
3883	Odds are I hit the cancer with this one.	1.2121	0.05071	66	52	14	0
3884	Not to worry… our surgeons undergo years of rigorous training	1.2121	0.04821	99	81	15	3
3885	Our state-of-the art surgery got you into the perfect shape.	1.2121	0.06301	66	55	8	3
3886	This is just a schematic. You’ll be lying down during the surgery.	1.2121	0.05919	66	54	10	2
3887	In what I am about to do close doesn't count . . .	1.2121	0.04372	99	79	19	1
3888	Some degrees of precision you just can't learn in medical school.	1.2121	0.05511	66	53	12	1
3889	I feel like I've had the chance to really get to know you during this pre-op appointment.	1.2118	0.04458	85	67	18	0
3890	Side effects may include, sweating, nausea, loose bowels, bleeding, and death.	1.2118	0.05575	85	71	10	4
3891	And now for the groin shot!	1.2118	0.05047	85	69	14	2
3892	We’ve got to finish outlining the body. All that’s left to do are the inner legs, upper thighs and privates.	1.2118	0.05317	85	70	12	3
3893	That was just my warm up.	1.2118	0.05317	85	70	12	3
3894	I like to keep my surgical skills sharp	1.2118	0.05047	85	69	14	2
3895	What every patient wants to hear from their surgeon, "Yeah, I'm that good."	1.2118	0.05317	85	70	12	3
3896	We like to warm up before surgery	1.2118	0.05047	85	69	14	2
3897	let me get to the point, you're perfectly healthy	1.2118	0.05047	85	69	14	2
3898	Granted, it’s an experimental procedure, but I find it considerably safer than the carnival’s Spinning Wheel Of Death.	1.2118	0.04458	85	67	18	0
3899	Don’t worry, we’ve recently started a new initiative in precision medicine	1.2118	0.04762	85	68	16	1
3900	We've found it cuts down on post-surgical pain and recovery time.	1.2118	0.04762	85	68	16	1
3901	Just pretend you're Johnny Carson.	1.2118	0.05317	85	70	12	3
3902	This will eliminate any fears you may have about surgery.	1.2118	0.05047	85	69	14	2
3903	Notice the absence of bloodstains. No worries.	1.2118	0.04762	85	68	16	1
3904	HMO, right?	1.2118	0.05317	85	70	12	3
3905	And exactly where is that last knife supposed to go?	1.2118	0.05047	85	69	14	2
3906	you seem a little on edge	1.2118	0.05047	85	69	14	2
3907	Ok, you win, we'll try physical therapy first...	1.2118	0.05047	85	69	14	2
3908	This is how I hone my surgical skills.	1.2118	0.05047	85	69	14	2
3909	With the advances in medicine, we can virtually target treatments to your specific needs. Where would you like me to operate?	1.2118	0.05317	85	70	12	3
3910	Welcome to our training camp for life, remember, here the game is long - you hit some, and you miss some	1.2118	0.05047	85	69	14	2
3911	It’s just a more intense version of acupuncture.	1.2118	0.05047	85	69	14	2
3912	It's basically a live-action version of the children's game "Operation".	1.2113	0.05275	71	57	13	1
3913	I swear I’m the best darts player among the surgeons.	1.2113	0.05644	71	58	11	2
3914	Alright, I’ve seen enough.Circumsizse me doc.	1.2113	0.05275	71	57	13	1
3915	You’re in luck! Looks like good news.	1.2113	0.05275	71	57	13	1
3916	As you can see, I've had quite a bit of experience with this procedure.	1.2113	0.05644	71	58	11	2
3917	Surgery has really become a bit of a circus.	1.2113	0.05644	71	58	11	2
3918	Trust me, this will completely take your mind off your diagnosis.	1.2113	0.05644	71	58	11	2
3919	The HMO from your circus job doesn't cover any other kind of scan.	1.2113	0.05275	71	57	13	1
3920	I'll need you to remove your gown for the final throw of this exam.	1.2113	0.05644	71	58	11	2
3921	You're lucky. The last doctor used tomahawks.	1.2113	0.05990	71	59	9	3
3922	You asked for the family discount, right?	1.2113	0.05644	71	58	11	2
3923	The waiver you signed includes my pre-op warm up.	1.2113	0.05644	71	58	11	2
3924	You did ask to see my qualifications before we got started. Med school was a real circus.	1.2113	0.05644	71	58	11	2
3925	And yet you couldn't draw a clock face with hands showing eleven-thirty!	1.2113	0.05275	71	57	13	1
3926	No, Mr. Harris, we don't do anything with patients prior to them coming out of anesthesia; why do you ask?"	1.2113	0.04879	71	56	15	0
3927	The bad news is you have only seconds left to live. The good news is it's not your fault.	1.2113	0.05275	71	57	13	1
3928	It’s like a regular eye exam, only the stakes are higher	1.2113	0.05644	71	58	11	2
3929	Yes, it is a risky means of surgery but it's the only procedure your plan covers	1.2111	0.05119	90	74	13	3
3930	We have this new " touch free laser knife " surgery.	1.2111	0.05119	90	74	13	3
3931	No wonder the carnival fired you!	1.2111	0.04605	90	72	17	1
3932	Did I mention I’m retiring today?	1.2111	0.05119	90	74	13	3
3933	A very straight forward procedure. First a local anesthetic, then we mark an X where your inflamed appendix is, throw the knife into the center of it, and go in with a smaller knife and remove the darned thing.	1.2111	0.04326	90	71	19	0
3934	That's why we need you to be horizontal.	1.2111	0.04869	90	73	15	2
3935	Next week in exposure therapy let us evaluate avoidance three hundred level.	1.2111	0.04605	90	72	17	1
3936	Sooo.... should you ask your doctor if Trulance is right for you--or should I get my blindfold?	1.2111	0.05357	90	75	11	4
3937	Remind me. Appendectomy or vasectomy/	1.2111	0.05357	90	75	11	4
3938	You are in good hands as long as you in good shape	1.2111	0.05357	90	75	11	4
3939	I’ve been struggling with this last bit of my Board certification, do you mind	1.2111	0.05357	90	75	11	4
3940	Bum procedure. At least we took a stab at it.	1.2111	0.04326	90	71	19	0
3941	It’s the 13th throw and I’m feeling lucky	1.2111	0.04605	90	72	17	1
3942	There's been a change to your profile.	1.2105	0.04708	76	60	16	0
3943	Here, you try. Just imagine that the silhouette is of me.	1.2105	0.05717	76	63	10	3
3944	This is a win-win situation. You're losing your fear of sharp objects, and my knife skills are improving.	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
3945	Your condition is of medical interest. I'd like to take a stab at it.	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
3946	Feeling lucky?????	1.2105	0.04205	95	75	20	0
3947	You won't feel a thing either way.	1.2105	0.05067	76	61	14	1
3948	I use surgical precision!	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
3949	Just approved by the CDC, this is the cutting of edge of hiccup removal.	1.2105	0.05717	76	63	10	3
3950	Your blood pressure is elevated.	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
3951	My success rate for this particular non-invasive procedure is 100%	1.2105	0.05717	76	63	10	3
3952	With this procedure, we encourage you to think yourself skinny.	1.2105	0.06016	76	64	8	4
3953	Pre op pre game!	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
3954	Do you want the good news or the bad news?	1.2105	0.05717	76	63	10	3
3955	12 out of 13 knives agree this is a dangerous test.	1.2105	0.04463	95	76	18	1
3956	Before you stab me, know that my back kick is lethal.	1.2105	0.05067	76	61	14	1
3957	Good thing anesthetics was invented, am I right?	1.2105	0.04708	76	60	16	0
3958	This will be the first knife throwing surgery, but you can see that I am good!	1.2105	0.06016	76	64	8	4
3959	You’ll receive a free limited-edition tote when we’re done!	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
3960	So as you can see, it may not always be an arm and a leg.	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
3961	The doctor will be with you shortly.	1.2105	0.05067	76	61	14	1
3962	In case this doctor thing doesn’t work out	1.2105	0.04708	95	77	16	2
3963	I wasn’t very good at darts but your wife instructed me to go for the bullseye.	1.2105	0.05067	76	61	14	1
3964	As you can see, I’ve never lost a patient. Yet.	1.2105	0.04708	76	60	16	0
3965	Next time you do your knife swallowing act be sure to take them off the throwing board.	1.2105	0.05067	76	61	14	1
3966	You’re procedure is over here since you don’t have insurance	1.2100	0.04560	100	81	17	2
3967	13th try is the charm.	1.2100	0.04777	100	82	15	3
3968	We’re trying to operate lean. Believe it, or not, this was a cost savings.	1.2100	0.05183	100	84	11	5
3969	If you don't understand why I call it my medical "practice," you may get the point soon.	1.2099	0.05476	81	67	11	3
3970	This final one may be tricky.	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
3971	I didn't sideline my way through medical school for nothing.	1.2099	0.04553	81	64	17	0
3972	My surgury or take a chance with the flying hatchets, your choice.	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
3973	We'll just skip the eye chart part.	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
3974	So, you see, you don't need surgery.	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
3975	Well, makes euthanasia more interesting for me."	1.2099	0.04553	81	64	17	0
3976	Don't worry, I've given up thinking outside the box.	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
3977	It hasn't ever happened, but if I mess this up, remember you have excellent health insurance.	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
3978	As you can see, the procedure was an enormous success.	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
3979	I am so glad you didn’t gain anymore weight.	1.2099	0.04553	81	64	17	0
3980	I want to show you how much my skills have improved since your last surgery.	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
3981	Knives out, lance bunion	1.2099	0.05476	81	67	11	3
3982	These are your chakras on French fries.	1.2099	0.05476	81	67	11	3
3983	No, you don’t have to face me.	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
3984	We had to opt for the generic-brand knives as the name-brand ones aren’t covered by your insurance	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
3985	We'll do the prostate exam after this part.	1.2097	0.06143	62	51	9	2
3986	All those other folks weren’t surgeons; I won’t miss.	1.2097	0.06560	62	52	7	3
3987	We find it sharper than an x-ray	1.2097	0.06143	62	51	9	2
3988	Neither the doctor or the patient are Parkinsonian!	1.2097	0.05697	62	50	11	1
3989	I wend to medical school at Yale, but did my residency at Barnum and Bailey's.	1.2097	0.06143	62	51	9	2
3990	This tests whether you can hold still during the MRI.	1.2093	0.04412	86	68	18	0
3991	As you can see, my success rate with this procedure is 100% but, I'll still need your informed consent as it still involves risk of injury or death.	1.2093	0.05515	86	72	10	4
3992	Trust me. I’m as good as your regular guy.	1.2093	0.04712	86	69	16	1
3993	You can definitely drive without glasses.	1.2093	0.04994	86	70	14	2
3994	No need to worry, I’ve been practicing for years.	1.2093	0.04994	86	70	14	2
3995	While past returns are no guarantee of future results, there exists some correlation which makes similar future results more likely, just not guaranteed.	1.2093	0.04994	86	70	14	2
3996	Oh, fuck!	1.2093	0.05515	86	72	10	4
3997	Just so you know, I’m pretty good at doing no harm.	1.2093	0.04994	86	70	14	2
3998	You should see the last patient!	1.2093	0.05515	86	72	10	4
3999	Sooo ... where would you like me to put the apple?	1.2093	0.04994	86	70	14	2
4000	Next… I’ll go over your prostate.	1.2093	0.05261	86	71	12	3
4001	Vasectomies are quite successful.	1.2093	0.04994	86	70	14	2
4002	Let’s do a demo	1.2093	0.05515	86	72	10	4
4003	I hone my surgical skills here every morning; your heart, lung and liver transplant will be a walk in the park.	1.2090	0.06214	67	56	8	3
4004	I took a stab at it at least.	1.2090	0.06214	67	56	8	3
4005	I'm the only surgeon who ever opened for Elvis in Vegas.	1.2090	0.06904	67	58	4	5
4006	If the stress doesn't kill you...you'll be healed.	1.2090	0.05839	67	55	10	2
4007	I’ve done this operation a thousand times; I could do it blindfolded.	1.2090	0.05438	67	54	12	1
4008	My work is either hit or miss.	1.2090	0.06214	67	56	8	3
4009	Our surgery department is very skilled.	1.2090	0.05839	67	55	10	2
4010	You should see the Proctologists board...	1.2090	0.05839	67	55	10	2
4011	Don't worry. Your sex change operation will be over and done before you know it.	1.2090	0.05438	67	54	12	1
4012	It’s a new phenomenon called reiki surgery. It gets rid of your bad vibes.	1.2090	0.05004	67	53	14	0
4013	If you are normal on the BMI you will be safe.	1.2088	0.04821	91	74	15	2
4014	I guess you’ll live	1.2088	0.04560	91	73	17	1
4015	I said I was skilled with the knife and I am. Take a look. Four hours under and not a nick on you	1.2088	0.04821	91	74	15	2
4016	It's actually slightly more effective than placebo.	1.2088	0.04821	91	74	15	2
4017	Relax, we haven't lost a patient yet.	1.2088	0.04821	91	74	15	2
4018	Hell, I don't know, worth a shot.	1.2088	0.05068	91	75	13	3
4019	The ethical implications of assisted near-death experiences are yet to be fully developed	1.2088	0.05303	91	76	11	4
4020	Clearly you need more iron in your stomach.	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
4021	I'm afraid we still don't have a diagnosis Hugo.	1.2083	0.05210	72	58	13	1
4022	Sure you still want a second opinion?	1.2083	0.05210	72	58	13	1
4023	True, I’m not very precise, but I am very accurate.	1.2083	0.04663	96	78	16	2
4024	Your condition may be terminal.	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
4025	Those were mole removals, but I’m equally qualified for vasectomies.	1.2083	0.05210	72	58	13	1
4026	This illustrates the new strategies we've come up with for navigating your health insurance's medical-industrial complex.	1.2083	0.05913	72	60	9	3
4027	Now do you want to go ahead with the colonoscopy?	1.2083	0.04820	72	57	15	0
4028	And you thought cutting out junk food was painful.	1.2083	0.05210	72	58	13	1
4029	Now that we've completed the trust-building exercise,I'd like to examine you.	1.2083	0.05210	72	58	13	1
4030	If you wanna see one in the back, tell me now.	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
4031	As you can see, the procedure is perfectly safe.	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
4032	It's a cutting-edge procedure.	1.2083	0.04820	72	57	15	0
4033	So this is the easiest part of Med School!	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
4034	It's rather like standing for Speaker of the House, don't you think?	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
4035	As a surgery technique, it is still considered experimental.	1.2083	0.05913	72	60	9	3
4036	My new approach has really trimmed patient's answers when I ask, 'tell me where it hurts.'	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
4037	Homeopathic acupuncture, the latest craze!	1.2083	0.05210	72	58	13	1
4038	No worry - just keep your hands still.	1.2079	0.04939	101	84	13	4
4039	Make sure you look away for me: I never knife my patients in the back:" Vipin Bery,Toronto vipin.bery@gmail.co	1.2079	0.05135	101	85	11	5
4040	I never miss	1.2078	0.05649	77	64	10	3
4041	You have to practice before you can achieve surgical precision	1.2078	0.05649	77	64	10	3
4042	Wanna warm up?	1.2078	0.05944	77	65	8	4
4043	Look at it this way: I've never lost a patient.	1.2078	0.05008	77	62	14	1
4044	Insert vasectomy joke here.	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
4045	Unfortunately, your insurance won’t cover this procedure.	1.2078	0.05649	77	64	10	3
4046	Theoretically, a similar resulting miss between the legs should be a cinch.	1.2078	0.04654	77	61	16	0
4047	Relax. He’s never landed one. Yet.	1.2078	0.04654	77	61	16	0
4048	I only practice cutting edge medicine.	1.2078	0.05944	77	65	8	4
4049	So you see, Al, you've got nothing to worry about tomorrow.	1.2078	0.05008	77	62	14	1
4050	‘A cutting-edge treatment,’ they said.	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
4051	Nice socks	1.2078	0.05944	77	65	8	4
4052	And I did it blindfoldered	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
4053	Nice to see that you are sticking to your diet during holidays	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
4054	And with that, I'll prepare the doctor's note for your circus performer application."	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
4055	It’s evidence based treatment - not one patient has come back to complain.	1.2078	0.05008	77	62	14	1
4056	You go first Doc.	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
4057	Just relax and we'll keep our eye on you.	1.2078	0.05649	77	64	10	3
4058	Doc Gooden, am I right?	1.2078	0.05649	77	64	10	3
4059	Are we twins?	1.2078	0.04654	77	61	16	0
4060	We hate to put you in a tight spot, but we need to pin you down	1.2078	0.05649	77	64	10	3
4061	We can keep going, but you hit your deductible about 20 minutes ago	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
4062	Wow .. you look like you could be my twin	1.2078	0.05008	77	62	14	1
4063	I told you your Magician’s Assistant condition is not removable by any medical procedure after all.	1.2078	0.05944	77	65	8	4
4064	Instead of just reciting the Hippocratic oath, we really want test our residents’ pledge to “do no harm”	1.2078	0.05649	77	64	10	3
4065	Make yourself comfortable. This won’t hurt a bit.	1.2078	0.04654	77	61	16	0
4066	Ready for your CUT Scan?	1.2073	0.05686	82	69	9	4
4067	There’s always some uncertainty in treatment outcomes.	1.2073	0.05415	82	68	11	3
4068	So that is what the non-invasive surgery option will look like.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
4069	As you can see, accuracy is an art here at The Cutter Institute.	1.2073	0.04827	82	66	15	1
4070	Target therapy” is our first line of treatment	1.2073	0.05686	82	69	9	4
4071	I’ll do the bris instead.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
4072	As you can see I am precise so you need not fear surgery.	1.2073	0.04504	82	65	17	0
4073	Your aura looks wounded today	1.2073	0.04827	82	66	15	1
4074	You got the wrong guy.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
4075	Yes, your insurance company has authorized the Baker's Dozen incision procedure.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
4076	I use this as a way to soothe patient uncertainty pre surgery.	1.2073	0.05415	82	68	11	3
4077	I really do miss him - now	1.2073	0.04827	82	66	15	1
4078	Not to worry. It just goes to show that we haven't nicked a nerve or tendon yet.	1.2073	0.04827	82	66	15	1
4079	No no, I'm pretty sure this is how you do an eye test	1.2073	0.04827	82	66	15	1
4080	Now, bend over.	1.2073	0.05415	82	68	11	3
4081	Lucky for you I am not a urologist	1.2073	0.04827	82	66	15	1
4082	And now to check your reflexes.	1.2073	0.04504	82	65	17	0
4083	despite all efforts, the patient remains resistant to traditional methods of surgical incision	1.2073	0.04827	82	66	15	1
4084	On the other hand,it is possible that your condition is psychosomatic	1.2069	0.05902	58	47	10	1
4085	…and I also do “cut-ligraphy.”	1.2069	0.04664	87	70	16	1
4086	Don't worry, it's just pre-op prep.	1.2069	0.05206	87	72	12	3
4087	Let me outline where the incision is going to be.	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
4088	It's a new alternative to surgery.	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
4089	Sometimes it’s good to get a second opinion	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
4090	This is a new noninvasive treatment we are calling aproxipuncture.	1.2069	0.05696	87	74	8	5
4091	So, it turns out you don't need surgery!	1.2069	0.05456	87	73	10	4
4092	Electric shock therapy was just terrible for the planet…	1.2069	0.04664	87	70	16	1
4093	I haven’t lost a patient yet!	1.2065	0.04516	92	74	17	1
4094	I would say the odds are highly in your favor!	1.2065	0.04244	92	73	19	0
4095	Well, I guess you just have a different way of defining a successful outcome.	1.2065	0.04516	92	74	17	1
4096	Sometimes medicine is a bit of trial and error.	1.2065	0.04773	92	75	15	2
4097	It’s part of a battery of tests.	1.2065	0.04773	92	75	15	2
4098	This is why Johnny used an ax	1.2065	0.04773	92	75	15	2
4099	Triangulation is an under appreciated artform	1.2065	0.04773	92	75	15	2
4100	Good thing you weren't facing forward.	1.2065	0.04244	92	73	19	0
4101	Surgery has come so far. I can do it from across the hallway now.	1.2063	0.06054	63	52	9	2
4102	This is my resume. I have an excellent reputation with the knife.	1.2063	0.05616	63	51	11	1
4103	I guess we both know the mystery of the missing 13th one.	1.2063	0.06054	63	52	9	2
4104	Of course you don't see the ones that I didn't miss.	1.2063	0.06054	63	52	9	2
4105	There's always risk involved with experimental treatments, but I can assure you that none of MY patients have reported any side effects	1.2063	0.06054	63	52	9	2
4106	You will see that we are very accurate with vasectomies here	1.2059	0.04940	68	54	14	0
4107	Your punctures healed nicely. Now, let's see if the Xanax has reduced your trembling.	1.2059	0.04940	68	54	14	0
4108	After that COVID thing the hospital administrator asked us to be more dynamic in our efforts to build patient trust.	1.2059	0.05760	68	56	10	2
4109	Adult circumcision is a very hit or miss procedure. I’ll keep trying …	1.2059	0.04894	102	85	13	4
4110	I have this really cool test to see if my patients have complete faith in me. Are you in?	1.2059	0.05366	68	55	12	1
4111	No, of course I’m not angry with you for telling mum the true reason I didn’t come home for Christmas	1.2059	0.04258	102	82	19	1
4112	Face the wall and leave the gown open in the back.	1.2055	0.05503	73	60	11	2
4113	I see you got this far but there’s still one more coming your way…	1.2055	0.05503	73	60	11	2
4114	This ain’t my first colonoscopy.	1.2055	0.05503	73	60	11	2
4115	My aim is better than it seems. That's a chalk outline.	1.2055	0.05146	73	59	13	1
4116	I could sign you up for our new Reiki Surgery trial.	1.2055	0.04762	73	58	15	0
4117	And one in the back of course.	1.2055	0.05503	73	60	11	2
4118	Oh, that’s my apprentice’s. Don’t worry I’ll circumcise you on the first try.	1.2055	0.05503	73	60	11	2
4119	With our new magnetic knife test, we confirmed your fear that you are very repulsive.	1.2055	0.05146	73	59	13	1
4120	Your shadow did not feel any pain at all!!	1.2055	0.05839	73	61	9	3
4121	So this happened just after your partner found out about you and his wife?	1.2055	0.05503	73	60	11	2
4122	Well, my medical degree is from Le Cordon Bleu...	1.2055	0.05146	73	59	13	1
4123	This time with our blindfolds.	1.2055	0.05839	73	61	9	3
4124	It's the only way I can get your gown off with that knot.	1.2055	0.05503	73	60	11	2
4125	She's not much of a surgeon, but she sure can throw a knife with accuracy.	1.2055	0.04762	73	58	15	0
4126	I am sorry to say but this type of operation is like a stab in the dark.	1.2055	0.05146	73	59	13	1
4127	9 out of 10 doctors recommend it.	1.2055	0.04762	73	58	15	0
4128	Those of pure heart face this test without fear.	1.2055	0.05146	73	59	13	1
4129	You ever heard of survivorship bias, doc?	1.2055	0.05146	73	59	13	1
4130	It's like acupuncture, but more effective	1.2055	0.05839	73	61	9	3
4131	You're in good hands. Almost 50%.	1.2055	0.05146	73	59	13	1
4132	I am very good at target practice	1.2055	0.05146	73	59	13	1
4133	Only one more chance left to get a discount on your bill.	1.2055	0.05146	73	59	13	1
4134	Not to worry, our anesthesiologist is world-class.	1.2055	0.05503	73	60	11	2
4135	The first licenses to prescribe pot will go to the Dr,’s who have done the most time.	1.2051	0.05276	78	64	12	2
4136	not to worry.. I'll be wearing a surgical mask.,, but no blindfold.	1.2051	0.05276	78	64	12	2
4137	I can do better	1.2051	0.04602	78	62	16	0
4138	Step right up - today only, I'm running an Ed Ames vasectomy special."	1.2051	0.04602	78	62	16	0
4139	the Good news is you have an outside chance of surviving	1.2051	0.04602	78	62	16	0
4140	Well, yes. Arthroscopic surgery is another option.	1.2051	0.05276	78	64	12	2
4141	Might want to face the wall for this one.	1.2051	0.04950	78	63	14	1
4142	No procedure is without risk. There's a reason it's called a "private practice" and not a "private perfect."	1.2051	0.05276	78	64	12	2
4143	When the ad read “affordable vasectomies” what did you expect?	1.2051	0.05873	78	66	8	4
4144	Never a dull moment around here.	1.2051	0.05583	78	65	10	3
4145	The previous patient survived, so no need for you to worry....!	1.2051	0.05276	78	64	12	2
4146	Of course the prostate requires your involvement	1.2051	0.05276	78	64	12	2
4147	We've got the outside edges done...	1.2051	0.05276	78	64	12	2
4148	For your procedure, the goal is to get the knives closer to the body, while throwing from farther away.	1.2051	0.05276	78	64	12	2
4149	See, you scrotum should be safe.	1.2051	0.05276	78	64	12	2
4150	I considered becoming a surgeon, but this is much easier.	1.2051	0.04950	78	63	14	1
4151	To help defray skyrocketing medical costs, we’re partnering with a carnival.	1.2051	0.04950	78	63	14	1
4152	Unconventional, sure, but it cures tremors 90% of the time.	1.2051	0.04950	78	63	14	1
4153	Vasectomies are my specialty.	1.2051	0.05276	78	64	12	2
4154	I’ve come to the conclusion that yours is an internal problem.	1.2051	0.04950	78	63	14	1
4155	The knife act harnesses fidgeting and improves focus normally associated with hyperactivity.	1.2051	0.04950	78	63	14	1
4156	The next one decides where we operate!	1.2051	0.04950	78	63	14	1
4157	it's not intrusive , don't need anesthesia.	1.2051	0.05276	78	64	12	2
4158	Sorry, Mr. Jones, but you're just as magnetic as your personality.	1.2051	0.04950	78	63	14	1
4159	Now the pain’s everywhere!	1.2051	0.04602	78	62	16	0
4160	Adult circumcision procedures haven't adapted to modern medical standards yet.	1.2051	0.05583	78	65	10	3
4161	Is Spacsavers your optician?	1.2048	0.05073	83	68	13	2
4162	AI is making encouraging progress in formulating an algorithm for exploratory surgery.	1.2048	0.05073	83	68	13	2
4163	It's kind of like the same concept as masking tape	1.2048	0.05623	83	70	9	4
4164	It's an art, not a science.	1.2048	0.05355	83	69	11	3
4165	It seems I'm in excellent health.	1.2048	0.05355	83	69	11	3
4166	I'll take a stab at it.	1.2048	0.04775	83	67	15	1
4167	That's the way it should have come out.	1.2048	0.04775	83	67	15	1
4168	As you can see, your condition is resisting treatment.	1.2048	0.04457	83	66	17	0
4169	Let me outline your treatment plan	1.2048	0.05878	83	71	7	5
4170	And that's why we don't bother taking insurance.	1.2048	0.05073	83	68	13	2
4171	Now to check for internal bleeding	1.2048	0.05073	83	68	13	2
4172	So this is what it means when the insurance approves the surgery and doesn't have an in-network anesthesiologist. Tracks.	1.2048	0.05623	83	70	9	4
4173	So far, we have had a 100% success rate	1.2048	0.04775	83	67	15	1
4174	Perhaps two knives, Doc, but there's no way my insurance covers twelve.	1.2045	0.04891	88	72	14	2
4175	Relax, it's just how I like to warm up.	1.2045	0.04891	88	72	14	2
4176	Graduated first in my class from the Medical School at Clown College	1.2045	0.04891	88	72	14	2
4177	Lucky number thirteen?	1.2045	0.04325	88	70	18	0
4178	It’s my new weight loss program.	1.2045	0.04325	88	70	18	0
4179	Now for you bladder test.	1.2045	0.04325	88	70	18	0
4180	If I had missed even once, we could just skip the surgery.	1.2045	0.05152	88	73	12	3
4181	It's more exciting than crosswords.	1.2045	0.04891	88	72	14	2
4182	We're just going to measure your height. Take off your shoes.	1.2045	0.04891	88	72	14	2
4183	As you can see it only took me 5 or 6 tries in the prior treatment spots, now this last one will be a bit trickier. You may want to close your eyes and pull that gown up.	1.2045	0.04617	88	71	16	1
4184	You see, it’s called a practice for a reason.	1.2045	0.04617	88	71	16	1
4185	See? I know my way around blades...	1.2045	0.04891	88	72	14	2
4186	Don’t worry. You’ll be under anesthesia.	1.2043	0.04473	93	75	17	1
4187	We'll try that again and you can tell me when it hurts.	1.2043	0.04727	93	76	15	2
4188	No worries. I swore an oath.	1.2043	0.04473	93	75	17	1
4189	Advanced science has allowed us to cut off any excess fat as a drinking game.	1.2043	0.05198	93	78	11	4
4190	I promise you, it is funnier if you close your eyes	1.2043	0.04727	93	76	15	2
4191	I just got new glasses."	1.2043	0.04473	93	75	17	1
4192	This test is the most requested test by the wives. It's call Truth or Dare.	1.2041	0.04092	98	78	20	0
4193	My speciality is avoidance.	1.2041	0.04342	98	79	18	1
4194	Either I will set my personal record or I will fix your prostate problem.	1.2034	0.05812	59	48	10	1
4195	We’re ready for the appendectomy now.	1.2034	0.06295	59	49	8	2
4196	Don't worry. It's a textbook procedure.	1.2034	0.06295	59	49	8	2
4197	Surgeons are notorious for liking to cut!	1.2031	0.05968	64	53	9	2
4198	Side effects is kind of the point.	1.2031	0.05968	64	53	9	2
4199	13th time or nothing? I’ll take that bet.	1.2031	0.05537	64	52	11	1
4200	And this is our Billing Department.	1.2031	0.05968	64	53	9	2
4201	This is why we call it "Practicing Medicine"	1.2031	0.05968	64	53	9	2
4202	As you can see, not a single slip. That should build your confidence!	1.2031	0.05968	64	53	9	2
4203	As you can see I’m right every time…so far	1.2031	0.05968	64	53	9	2
4204	One more time and I promise we’ll get to the appendix.	1.2029	0.05296	69	56	12	1
4205	What exactly are you scared of?	1.2029	0.06047	69	58	8	3
4206	My aim isn't very good."	1.2029	0.06047	69	58	8	3
4207	Do you remember now?	1.2029	0.05296	69	56	12	1
4208	I had only two problems in medical school, Astigmutism and spelling.	1.2029	0.05296	69	56	12	1
4209	Don’t worry, I don’t do vasectomies or circumcisions	1.2029	0.05684	69	57	10	2
4210	One for the road?	1.2029	0.05684	69	57	10	2
4211	... And if I miss, the operation's free. On average, it's a little fairer than insurance.	1.2029	0.05296	69	56	12	1
4212	It’s hit or miss. And I haven’t hit yet!	1.2029	0.05684	69	57	10	2
4213	Have you been paying your alimony?" Tom Foster, Camino, CA	1.2029	0.06047	69	58	8	3
4214	No worry, our diagnostic knives miss patients who don’t look like me.”	1.2029	0.05296	69	56	12	1
4215	Now, do you still have that low back pain?	1.2029	0.05684	69	57	10	2
4216	Internal medicine is outdated…	1.2029	0.05296	69	56	12	1
4217	It’s my idea for our new ad announcing our latest cutting edge cutlery	1.2027	0.06079	74	63	7	4
4218	Ninja Reiki	1.2027	0.04705	74	59	15	0
4219	Don't worry, adult circumcisions are totally normal.	1.2027	0.05083	74	60	13	1
4220	If I slip here, I can't be sued.	1.2027	0.04705	74	59	15	0
4221	It landed dead center when it should have went just below.	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
4222	It’s a close call on your heart health.	1.2027	0.05083	74	60	13	1
4223	Let’s see if you pass the ? knife test.	1.2027	0.05766	74	62	9	3
4224	Now for the money throw	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
4225	Between the legs costs extra.	1.2027	0.05083	74	60	13	1
4226	Another few days of practice and I’ll be ready to do your surgery.	1.2027	0.04705	74	59	15	0
4227	Don’t worry. I’m still warming up.	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
4228	See, I'm a doctor you can trust.	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
4229	I just wish I was as good of a doctor.	1.2027	0.05766	74	62	9	3
4230	I can’t completely guarantee that this won’t hurt a bit.	1.2027	0.04705	74	59	15	0
4231	It's the perfect medical procedure, since mistakes are recorded only on my patients.	1.2027	0.05083	74	60	13	1
4232	My success rate is quite high with my Lego-shaped patients.	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
4233	You ok now?...let's get on with that kidney trick..	1.2027	0.05083	74	60	13	1
4234	It's our easy keep it off weight loss program	1.2027	0.04705	74	59	15	0
4235	I've done this procedure before and never missed a trick.	1.2027	0.05083	74	60	13	1
4236	Is your account up to date?	1.2027	0.04705	74	59	15	0
4237	In order to see what really needs to be taken out, we first had to remove your aura.	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
4238	Don't worry. We do surgeries like this all the time.	1.2025	0.05804	79	67	8	4
4239	You should be happy that Ed Ames is no longer with us.	1.2025	0.05804	79	67	8	4
4240	Yes, I do consider myself to be a practicing physician.	1.2025	0.04550	79	63	16	0
4241	I'll show you "under the knife"...	1.2025	0.04894	79	64	14	1
4242	It's quite safe.	1.2025	0.05804	79	67	8	4
4243	Don't worry - We're sure we'll find your appendix once you're on the operating table.	1.2025	0.05215	79	65	12	2
4244	One more, lets try to cut that skin issue between your legs	1.2025	0.04894	79	64	14	1
4245	Fixed your tremor and your stoop. Now, one last throw to fix your E.D.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
4246	Damn, I'm a lousy shot, aren't I?	1.2025	0.04550	79	63	16	0
4247	I find it's an effective stress test and a lot of fun.	1.2025	0.05804	79	67	8	4
4248	I go first, then it's your turn.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
4249	See? Not to worry. Now we'll do without the hypnosis.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
4250	Now imagine how skillful my knife control will be INSIDE your body.	1.2025	0.05215	79	65	12	2
4251	I told you the vaccine didn’t magnetize you.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
4252	Looks like you’re still one vote short Mr. McCarthy	1.2025	0.04894	79	64	14	1
4253	You're repulsive. So repulsive you repel knives that are intended to hit you. I'm not even a doctor. I'm a professional assassin. Congratulations, I guess. Don't turn your back on me me though! Ha-ha! Just kidding. I don't even care at this point.	1.2025	0.04894	79	64	14	1
4254	Now that we have determined you have a negative aura, plunge this last one directly into your heart.	1.2025	0.04894	79	64	14	1
4255	First, do no harm. Second, anything goes!	1.2025	0.04894	79	64	14	1
4256	Sharp medical students need vacations, too.	1.2024	0.05297	84	70	11	3
4257	Ed Ames' throw on the Johnny Carson Show remains the gold standard.	1.2024	0.04724	84	68	15	1
4258	perhaps a scalpel would be better, after all this is not target surgery	1.2024	0.04410	84	67	17	0
4259	We are not talking major surgery.	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
4260	This time I promise I'll get your appendix.	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
4261	You sure you don't have any private insurance?	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
4262	This is guaranteed to sharpen your memory.	1.2024	0.05297	84	70	11	3
4263	Hey! you didn't make the cut! Salesforce Tesla Amazon Facebook.....	1.2024	0.04410	84	67	17	0
4264	with your permission, I’d like to try none left handed	1.2024	0.05561	84	71	9	4
4265	And why exactly do you think that I'm a psychopath who stole a doctor's uniform?	1.2024	0.05297	84	70	11	3
4266	”But that was a long time ago…	1.2022	0.04842	89	73	14	2
4267	Basically the outer skin is removed and we put somebody else in it.	1.2022	0.05099	89	74	12	3
4268	As you can see, I'm left handed.	1.2022	0.05099	89	74	12	3
4269	I would let you try it, but that knife is Number 13!	1.2022	0.04282	89	71	18	0
4270	And, as you can see, we really don't have much of a handle on invasive surgery.	1.2022	0.04842	89	73	14	2
4271	Have I mentioned by new "side-hustle?"	1.2022	0.04570	89	72	16	1
4272	if you want out of the colonoscopy, you'll have to let me practice my knife throwing.	1.2022	0.05099	89	74	12	3
4273	See, I never violate my Hippocratic oath!	1.2022	0.04570	89	72	16	1
4274	I've invented a non-invasive procedure specifically for you.	1.2022	0.04570	89	72	16	1
4275	For the first time in 42 years of identical twin switching gags Walter questioned his decision to go to medical school rather than join the circus.	1.2022	0.05099	89	74	12	3
4276	Will you be the 1/2 of 1 percent?	1.2022	0.04842	89	73	14	2
4277	I’ve been working on a new vasectomy procedure I’d like to try out on you.	1.2022	0.04842	89	73	14	2
4278	Maybe now you'll finally lose some weight.	1.2022	0.05099	89	74	12	3
4279	Looks like I've got nothing to worry about.	1.2022	0.04842	89	73	14	2
4280	Yes , artesianal vasectomies are “a thing”	1.2022	0.04570	89	72	16	1
4281	We used to have 14 knives.	1.2022	0.05099	89	74	12	3
4282	He/she/it must had wear repellent clothes...	1.2022	0.05099	89	74	12	3
4283	The best thing since sliced bread!	1.2021	0.04430	94	76	17	1
4284	As you were told at the start of this study, it's still a trial an error process!	1.2021	0.04430	94	76	17	1
4285	No, it's not acupuncture.	1.2018	0.04839	109	92	12	5
4286	My parents never let me go to the circus growing up. Who isn’t guilty of mixing business with pleasure?	1.2000	0.05022	75	61	13	1
4287	Yes, it is impressive, but it’s this thirteenth knife that tells me what I really need to know.	1.2000	0.05695	75	63	9	3
4288	Should I aim for the groin?	1.2000	0.04793	90	74	14	2
4289	Well, your vital organs are looking good."	1.2000	0.05695	75	63	9	3
4290	As a surgeon, I like to keep myself challenged."	1.2000	0.05369	75	62	11	2
4291	We know people are anxious to get home after an operation. So this helps you get out of that gown just as quick as possible.	1.2000	0.05228	70	57	12	1
4292	You passed the test. Now that I see how composed you were during the screening test, you are ready for the surgery.	1.2000	0.04965	85	70	13	2
4293	So your prostate is enlarged, but we can fix that.	1.2000	0.04839	80	65	14	1
4294	We're experimenting with new eye exam techniques	1.2000	0.04674	85	69	15	1
4295	For this final step in your therapy continue to stay inside the line but we advise that you keep your feet as far apart as possible.	1.2000	0.04500	80	64	16	0
4296	As a weight loss technique, it's moderately effective.	1.2000	0.05022	75	61	13	1
4297	...just like in the cartoons, huh.	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
4298	We'll be using this for your vasectomy.	1.2000	0.04965	85	70	13	2
4299	Anyway, that's the plan	1.2000	0.04674	85	69	15	1
4300	The aim here is to perform an incision across your aura and extrapolate your guilty conscience.	1.2000	0.05228	70	57	12	1
4301	I've used it thirteen times before. Why?	1.2000	0.05022	75	61	13	1
4302	Don't worry... my aim is good.	1.2000	0.04500	80	64	16	0
4303	It’s our double-blind test for Xanax.	1.2000	0.05737	80	68	8	4
4304	Aura removal surgery has actually advanced more than you might think.	1.2000	0.05239	85	71	11	3
4305	I'm due for success.	1.2000	0.05737	80	68	8	4
4306	Thank God for modern anesthesia, right?	1.2000	0.04839	80	65	14	1
4307	You look fine so far.	1.2000	0.05695	75	63	9	3
4308	So. Who's your daddy?	1.2000	0.05228	70	57	12	1
4309	Simply stay between the lines and I won't cut you.	1.2000	0.05454	80	67	10	3
4310	You see,surgery is not hit and miss	1.2000	0.05239	85	71	11	3
4311	I only use knives from the “Knives Out”. collection.	1.2000	0.04364	85	68	17	0
4312	See, now all you got to do is start real still.	1.2000	0.05000	65	52	13	0
4313	I've outlined your condition. You're unlikely to die of a heart attack.	1.2000	0.04872	95	79	13	3
4314	I've been practicing for many years..	1.2000	0.05022	75	61	13	1
4315	You see, there is nothing to worry about! And I guarantee that after you see knives blazing at you for ten minutes, you will never experience narcolepsy again	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
4316	This wasn't what I imagined when you said I had to go under the knife.	1.2000	0.05610	70	58	10	2
4317	You seem a little testy.	1.2000	0.05454	80	67	10	3
4318	Don't worry; I'll be much more precise when I perform your brain surgery.	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
4319	Have you arranged for someone to pick you up?	1.2000	0.05000	65	52	13	0
4320	Now for the inseam	1.2000	0.05610	70	58	10	2
4321	was it fun for you?	1.2000	0.05369	75	62	11	2
4322	A knife a day…	1.2000	0.05369	75	62	11	2
4323	...and, if I miss, your vasectomy is free.	1.2000	0.06638	60	51	6	3
4324	What do you call the guy who graduates last in his class at acupuncture school?	1.2000	0.05047	90	75	12	3
4325	It induses the natural anesthesia of fainting.	1.2000	0.05369	75	62	11	2
4326	You will need to remove your gown for lucky number 13.	1.2000	0.04815	70	56	14	0
4327	It’s a new anxiety treatment.	1.2000	0.05288	90	76	10	4
4328	Vasectomy is not part of our practice.	1.2000	0.05022	75	61	13	1
4329	It's not the sharpness of the scalpel, Mr. Smith. It's the depth of my delusion.	1.2000	0.04674	85	69	15	1
4330	Either way, it will cure you of your anxiety.	1.2000	0.05369	75	62	11	2
4331	These are where we’ll make the incisions.	1.2000	0.04389	95	77	17	1
4332	We have narrowed down where to operate.	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
4333	this is the opposite of the reflex test.	1.2000	0.05454	80	67	10	3
4334	Yes, I'm a board-certified aura surgeon, and this, Mr. Krebs, is where the magic happens.	1.2000	0.06279	65	55	7	3
4335	I had trouble with the game "Operation", too.	1.2000	0.05000	65	52	13	0
4336	Good chance I'll miss........	1.2000	0.04650	75	60	15	0
4337	Any other places you have a stabbing pain?	1.2000	0.05610	70	58	10	2
4338	It’s a trial so results are hit or miss. Or we go with a regular appendectomy, up to you.	1.2000	0.04793	90	74	14	2
4339	I told you I was a "Praticing Physician"!	1.2000	0.05228	70	57	12	1
4340	So far, so good. Step over there and I’ll throw knife thirteen.	1.2000	0.05454	80	67	10	3
4341	We doctors practically live on the job, so thanks for letting me play out this hobby of mine before your exam.	1.2000	0.05369	75	62	11	2
4342	Congrats, you’ll be our first stab of 2023.	1.2000	0.05022	75	61	13	1
4343	The trick is figuring out where to put the batteries for your light up nose.	1.2000	0.04500	80	64	16	0
4344	You looked confused. I said you might have to go under the knife	1.2000	0.04839	80	65	14	1
4345	This may or may not be our last test for the day.	1.2000	0.05369	75	62	11	2
4346	Don’t worry, I’m like a surgeon with this blade.	1.2000	0.04815	70	56	14	0
4347	I thought you liked being the center of attention.	1.2000	0.04839	80	65	14	1
4348	Stand very still against the board and I'll try to hit your gall bladder.	1.2000	0.05000	65	52	13	0
4349	Please do be scared. This is your bladder control test”.	1.2000	0.05695	75	63	9	3
4350	Just one more knife to throw	1.2000	0.05610	70	58	10	2
4351	I find this procedure the most effective way to eliminate hiccups.	1.2000	0.05610	70	58	10	2
4352	Let me introduce you to our newest approach—what I like to call our ‘targeted therapy’.	1.2000	0.05228	70	57	12	1
4353	I usually don't miss my target, but I have been off my game lately.	1.2000	0.05369	75	62	11	2
4354	It's easier if you start with a lobotomy.	1.2000	0.05288	90	76	10	4
4355	Think of it as Acupuncture	1.2000	0.04965	85	70	13	2
4356	Let’s try again: show me where it hurts.	1.2000	0.04815	70	56	14	0
4357	That's the last time we'll ever let a stormtrooper perform surgery.	1.2000	0.05022	75	61	13	1
4358	Don’t worry, Kevin! Electing a speaker is a safe, routine procedure. We’ll have you out of here in no time.	1.2000	0.05369	75	62	11	2
4359	That guy on Johnny Carson wasn	1.2000	0.04674	85	69	15	1
4360	They always say 'under the knife', but it is really about making a cut around the area.	1.2000	0.06305	70	60	6	4
4361	I just want to show you my skills before we go into the operating room.	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
4362	I have a pretty good track record.	1.2000	0.05883	65	54	9	2
4363	Funny how I'm getting these cramps in my right shoulder but so far my aim is unaffected	1.2000	0.05695	75	63	9	3
4364	Let’s schedule you for In-patient Surgery.	1.2000	0.05369	75	62	11	2
4365	The real surprise is I’ve just stabbed you in the back.	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
4366	Okay - show me where it hurts.	1.2000	0.05610	70	58	10	2
4367	Now we can go over the informed consent forms or you can just trust me.	1.2000	0.05369	75	62	11	2
4368	We really need to get to the point of your diagnosis	1.2000	0.05097	95	80	11	4
4369	The goal here is to not color within the lines.	1.2000	0.04793	90	74	14	2
4370	Just one more and you get a clean bill of health.	1.1979	0.05261	96	82	9	5
4371	That's just a starter, next up is a chainsaw.	1.1979	0.04088	96	77	19	0
4372	Sometimes it can be hard to get an exact diagnosis.	1.1979	0.04593	96	79	15	2
4373	They call it a practice	1.1978	0.04199	91	73	18	0
4374	An appendectomy shouldn't be any harder, so no worries.	1.1978	0.04199	91	73	18	0
4375	So, are you really sure a thirteenth opinion is necessary?	1.1978	0.04745	91	75	14	2
4376	Of course your procedure will arthroscopic.	1.1978	0.04745	91	75	14	2
4377	I guess you won't be needing any treatment today.	1.1978	0.04996	91	76	12	3
4378	I’ve been getting into performance art to makeup for my online reviews	1.1977	0.04912	86	71	13	2
4379	See how safe you'd be	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
4380	So, tell me where it hurts again.	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
4381	Maybe if we put you on a wheel, instead of an operating table,we could have found the source of your problem.	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
4382	We call this microsurgury	1.1977	0.04912	86	71	13	2
4383	alright get up there and try to spread your legs just a little...this takes the edge off before surgery for us..pardon the pun...	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
4384	My previous circus employment looked good on my resume.	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
4385	I've outlined the area for your surgery. We use a hole-istic approach.	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
4386	Most of my patients complain of stabbing pain with this procedure.	1.1977	0.05441	86	73	9	4
4387	I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HAVE A LIMITED PRACTICE.	1.1977	0.04912	86	71	13	2
4388	So you can't wait to get under the knife?	1.1977	0.04320	86	69	17	0
4389	You've come to the right place. As you can see, I'm the best in my field.	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
4390	Acupuncture uses needles? That’s not what the online course said	1.1977	0.04912	86	71	13	2
4391	My professional opinion is that you won’t die today	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
4392	Here is how we treated you up to this point in your life	1.1975	0.04785	81	66	14	1
4393	We are on the cusps of some cutting edge technology here.	1.1975	0.04785	81	66	14	1
4394	Drs. Howard, Fine, and Howard will be the attending physicians”.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
4395	It’s easy and won’t hurt, and it’s lucky thirteen for you.	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
4396	Actually, you're the first one. Congratulations.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
4397	I'll get your prostate on the next one	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
4398	Oh, don't be concerned - you fit the profile.	1.1975	0.04451	81	65	16	0
4399	I believe I am accurate enough now to remove your appendix .	1.1975	0.04785	81	66	14	1
4400	Don't worry, I've got your back.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
4401	It took the supply chain creating a surgical tool shortage, but I finally realized I'm not a Scalpel Guy.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
4402	You should be so lucky.	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
4403	As you can see,the procedure is entirely laparoscopic.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
4404	I’ve never hit anyone.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
4405	Trust me. The procedure is entirely safe. Nothing could go wrong.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
4406	I'm just kidding around, the lab downstairs will draw your blood.	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
4407	Before we begin,just wondering what your thoughts are on the number 13?	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
4408	We aim for 100% patient survival rates, unless the patient is a twin brother who used to lock you in the basement."	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
4409	Done correctly this procedure is totally non-invasive.However..	1.1975	0.04451	81	65	16	0
4410	No, I've never missed, but there's a first time for everything. Did you sign the Release?	1.1975	0.04785	81	66	14	1
4411	It's for the interns to practice.	1.1975	0.04785	81	66	14	1
4412	Let me try the one area not framed yet!	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
4413	Of course, you still have a 50/50 chance of being selected as a control.	1.1975	0.04785	81	66	14	1
4414	Still nothing for the urine sample? Get back up there and let me try getting this last one right between your legs.	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
4415	Think Different! You will come out a survivor.	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
4416	It's all that Medicare covers...	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
4417	Successful procedures are well-documented here. And there is NO evidence of any unsuccessful procedures.	1.1974	0.06218	76	66	5	5
4418	No need to worry, sir - I received my surgical training under some guy I saw on ‘America’s Got Talent’.	1.1974	0.04596	76	61	15	0
4419	This is why you want me to be your surgeon!	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
4420	Operation Successful	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
4421	I don’t feel lucky today”	1.1974	0.05626	76	64	9	3
4422	Don't worry, that was just the residents	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
4423	No worries. Never missed by less than a quarter of an inch!	1.1974	0.05626	76	64	9	3
4424	I need you to stand there one more time… My nurses call this one the ‘banana split’.	1.1974	0.04596	76	61	15	0
4425	Gave up magic to be a surgeon. Found that with magic you needed to be way too careful with those darn knives!	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
4426	This treatment option falls squarely under first do no harm.	1.1974	0.05626	76	64	9	3
4427	You should see the last guy.	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
4428	You're ready to go under the knife.	1.1974	0.05626	76	64	9	3
4429	Your Body’s ability to deflect the metal shows you’re well grounded.	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
4430	In this case, the cure and the disease are even-money.	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
4431	Don't you see the resemblance?	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
4432	"Like I said, my non-invasive surgical techniques are cutting edge.	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
4433	And they said quitting the circus to go to medical school was a bad idea.	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
4434	This treatment has not been FDA approved.	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
4435	We have a group practice	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
4436	Oh.. Man..	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
4437	Now that you understand the Rorschach test Mr. Jones, tell me what you see.	1.1974	0.04596	76	61	15	0
4438	So you were asking about what was different about what we learned in D.O. school, right?	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
4439	Just practicing my accuracy	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
4440	Okay, Mr. Smith, pick the one that you’d like me to cut.	1.1972	0.05890	71	60	8	3
4441	Of course, data on my failures are all buried out back.	1.1972	0.05890	71	60	8	3
4442	All of them made the cut	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
4443	This surgery is still experimental so the results have been hit-or-miss. Actually, all miss so far.	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
4444	It’s a good thing for you that he isn’t hung.	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
4445	Relax, I never try for between the legs on my full-fee patients.	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
4446	It’s 50% less invasive than regular surgery and twice as exciting!	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
4447	You'd rather I put you in a box and saw you in half?	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
4448	We grade our research on a sharp curve.	1.1972	0.04755	71	57	14	0
4449	Hmmmmm...not on my watch will I throw the knive again. What if I miss?????	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
4450	We've just about pinpointed the problem.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
4451	The test is clear: you have myopia.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
4452	I've been practicing. We can definitely increase your odds of living.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
4453	And that, my friend, is why I chose medicine over the carnival life.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
4454	Well, since acupuncture didn’t work, we’re going to try reverse acupuncture. Don’t worry - I was in the circus before I became a doctor.	1.1972	0.05890	71	60	8	3
4455	We use to do X-rays but we found this to be more cutting edge	1.1970	0.05802	66	55	9	2
4456	Life is a narrow bridge. It’s important not to be afraid.	1.1970	0.05385	66	54	11	1
4457	But think of it! You have a one chance of 12 of getting a free appendectomy.	1.1970	0.05802	66	55	9	2
4458	Prior authorization is required for us to perform this procedure on stage.	1.1970	0.05802	66	55	9	2
4459	First, we create an outline of what needs to be removed, and then...	1.1970	0.06556	66	57	5	4
4460	Of course this was a double blind test.	1.1970	0.05385	66	54	11	1
4461	Your aggression has improved but you need to work on your passion.	1.1970	0.05385	66	54	11	1
4462	If you can’t trust family….	1.1967	0.06105	61	51	8	2
4463	No need to worry, this is Phase 2 of the clinical trial.	1.1967	0.05132	61	49	12	0
4464	There is a perfectly good reason why there are no marks on the interior.	1.1967	0.05639	61	50	10	1
4465	Well it’s definitely not your magnetic personality…	1.1961	0.04415	102	84	16	2
4466	You know, us Bakers throw one in for free.	1.1959	0.04308	97	79	17	1
4467	Ah, go ahead!	1.1957	0.04159	92	74	18	0
4468	No worries. Our AI never misses.	1.1957	0.04698	92	76	14	2
4469	Sorry to be blunt, but not everyone is cut out for robotic surgery.	1.1957	0.04946	92	77	12	3
4470	Hey Doc, get yourself some glasses!	1.1957	0.04437	92	75	16	1
4471	I call this knife Lucky Thirteen.	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
4472	May the odds be ever in your favor…	1.1954	0.04578	87	71	15	1
4473	Now for your stress test.	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
4474	Surgery ain't horseshoes."	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
4475	This is the leading edge of medical technology	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
4476	…Downside…it’s a double blind experiment.	1.1954	0.04578	87	71	15	1
4477	Just keep your legs together as you see in the outline.	1.1954	0.04578	87	71	15	1
4478	Not quite a stab in the back.” Callum J Rolfe, London, U.	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
4479	...and for my first trick...	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
4480	You think AI can outperform doctors' precision	1.1954	0.04578	87	71	15	1
4481	Now that we've outlined the problem, let's take one last stab at it.	1.1951	0.05607	82	70	8	4
4482	Aren't you happy all your tests were negative?	1.1951	0.04733	82	67	14	1
4483	Your eye sight seems to be improving	1.1951	0.04733	82	67	14	1
4484	It’s official - you have a repellent personality.	1.1951	0.04403	82	66	16	0
4485	As you can see, as your surgeon, I am very good with the knife.	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
4486	Would you step back into the imager, Mr. Smith? I want to get a better outline of your heart.	1.1951	0.04733	82	67	14	1
4487	No, Mr. Winkler, your plan doesn't include ninja star therapy.	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
4488	Of course it's safe. Our tests show that in 12 procedures the patient was unharmed.	1.1951	0.04403	82	66	16	0
4489	I do have excellent knife skills …though during the actual surgery, it’s a much shorter distance to throw from.	1.1951	0.04733	82	67	14	1
4490	The trick is to remain absolutely still.	1.1951	0.04733	82	67	14	1
4491	The body imaging went well but I still want to do a CAT scan.	1.1951	0.04403	82	66	16	0
4492	I just need to fill in the space between the legs.	1.1951	0.05331	82	69	10	3
4493	I've missed a few but I think this time I will score a big one!!	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
4494	I usually like to take a few warm up tosses before the operation.	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
4495	I always miss	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
4496	Now, let’s see if you stuck to your diet over the holidays.	1.1951	0.04733	82	67	14	1
4497	See, I told you I’m a specialist	1.1948	0.04543	77	62	15	0
4498	My last patient missed the point!	1.1948	0.05558	77	65	9	3
4499	We do call ourselves the Stephen King Surgicenter, you know.	1.1948	0.05558	77	65	9	3
4500	We’ll put you just a little off center on the operating table. No worries about your surgery!	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
4501	This way we both can practice our mindfulness techniques.	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
4502	Sure, we can try watchful waiting ...	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
4503	Don't say I didn't warn you.	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
4504	i'm pretty good at the edges of your problem.	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
4505	Before you go under the knife, I think you may be reassured by seeing how accurate I am.	1.1948	0.04543	77	62	15	0
4506	No, you want cyber-knife, down the hall. We’re Khyber-knife.	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
4507	Don't worry. I got new glasses.	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
4508	You've done very well so far. So have I. Just one more knife to throw. Can you guess where I'll be aiming?	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
4509	This is a metaphor of how good we are.	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
4510	Once again — cough when I tell you to cough.	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
4511	We’re going to get that cancer one of these days.	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
4512	This is the reiki version of surgery ...	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
4513	Reassured?	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
4514	At's a knoife!	1.1948	0.05857	77	66	7	4
4515	Okay, step in there and let's check your weight.	1.1948	0.04543	77	62	15	0
4516	See, you have nothing to worry about - I've been practicing.	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
4517	Better knife-less than lifeless!	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
4518	Statistically, it's impossible for me to miss this last one.	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
4519	I have requested a new surgical team.	1.1948	0.04543	77	62	15	0
4520	I wanted to be a magician, my parents wanted me to be a doctor. So we compromised with this surgical technique!	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
4521	Steven, it seems that your eyesight is still up to par… let’s move on to the prostate exam.	1.1948	0.04543	77	62	15	0
4522	It's a highly accurate test.	1.1944	0.05096	72	59	12	1
4523	As you can clearly see, the vast majority of all knives land right on the board.	1.1944	0.04697	72	58	14	0
4524	This is all your insurance will cover.	1.1944	0.05096	72	59	12	1
4525	We just need to employ one more diagnostic tool….	1.1944	0.05814	72	61	8	3
4526	Every surgeon's motto; don't cut into healthy tissue	1.1944	0.05096	72	59	12	1
4527	Its artistic expression inspires in me something a flower-dappled meadow never could.	1.1944	0.05467	72	60	10	2
4528	As you can see, I should have no problem removing that apple off your head.	1.1944	0.05814	72	61	8	3
4529	...and the 12th one is for you...	1.1944	0.04697	72	58	14	0
4530	So far,so good. Just one more test.	1.1944	0.05096	72	59	12	1
4531	So, you see, it must have made you stronger.	1.1944	0.05814	72	61	8	3
4532	Hmmm, it appears to be the perfect crime.	1.1944	0.04697	72	58	14	0
4533	It’s actually how I met my wife Julie-Anne.	1.1944	0.05467	72	60	10	2
4534	Looks like it wasn’t your time to be euthanised.	1.1944	0.05814	72	61	8	3
4535	This is a new surgical technique called “close but no cigar”. The cigar comes later depending on how we do.	1.1944	0.05096	72	59	12	1
4536	Your risk profile makes you a perfect candidate for this surgery.	1.1944	0.04697	72	58	14	0
4537	Well if you get hit at least you don't need to get your blood drawn.	1.1944	0.05814	72	61	8	3
4538	I let chance pick the incision and just dig around until I find something suspicious.	1.1944	0.05096	72	59	12	1
4539	Oh, the police drew the outline. Why do you ask?	1.1944	0.05096	72	59	12	1
4540	This new immunotherapy treatment is going to be revolutionary!	1.1944	0.05096	72	59	12	1
4541	This is my practicum exam for anatomy101.	1.1944	0.05467	72	60	10	2
4542	You didn't have a heart attack, so I'd say the ol' ticker's working just fine. Now wait 'til you see how I do colonoscopies!	1.1944	0.06141	72	62	6	4
4543	this is why i have clones	1.1944	0.05814	72	61	8	3
4544	For every knife thrown we knock ten bucks off your bill	1.1944	0.04697	72	58	14	0
4545	Now you believe me when I told you it took three days to start with the operation?	1.1944	0.05467	72	60	10	2
4546	No cutting remarks.	1.1940	0.05312	67	55	11	1
4547	Are you familiar with new trends?	1.1940	0.05312	67	55	11	1
4548	It’s not 100% effective.	1.1940	0.04868	67	54	13	0
4549	When you’re laying down it will be much easier-	1.1940	0.04868	67	54	13	0
4550	I find it more comprehensive a test than the patellar reflex.	1.1940	0.05312	67	55	11	1
4551	It’s an “off-label” use of the technique, but a very effective way to overcome fear of surgery.	1.1940	0.04868	67	54	13	0
4552	The doctor aims for good margins	1.1940	0.04868	67	54	13	0
4553	Well, at least your acupressure points were all spared	1.1940	0.05312	67	55	11	1
4554	I passed my boards with flying colors.	1.1940	0.05312	67	55	11	1
4555	The doctor whispers to himself: "How can I miss it so many times?"	1.1940	0.05312	67	55	11	1
4556	Though we can’t explain why, it seems to work as well as cryotherapy.	1.1940	0.05722	67	56	9	2
4557	We did miss on occasion, but for some reason they do not show up on this chart.	1.1940	0.05722	67	56	9	2
4558	I failed to kill you. For you see, I am in love with you. You who are my identical twin. Tell me, please, that you love me back, romantically. Or I shall use this knife on my own throat and coat you in my blood. For our blood is one and the same. Our bodies long for each other. Can't you feel it? Please.	1.1940	0.05312	67	55	11	1
4559	That's one wicked "surgical strike" Doc!	1.1939	0.04508	98	81	15	2
4560	The first year resident will be throwing at you.	1.1935	0.05058	62	50	12	0
4561	Your life is hanging on a knife edge.	1.1935	0.05058	62	50	12	0
4562	this your first prostate exam?	1.1935	0.04394	93	76	16	1
4563	What do you notice first about this image?	1.1935	0.05058	62	50	12	0
4564	Only around 10% of patients report any painful side effects.	1.1935	0.06438	62	53	6	3
4565	HR’s patient surveys kept rating me “boring”.	1.1935	0.05557	62	51	10	1
4566	I really feel I can remove your appendix on this next try.	1.1935	0.05557	62	51	10	1
4567	I told you it cures chronic hiccups	1.1935	0.04652	93	77	14	2
4568	Fat test, let’s see how much you took during the holidays	1.1935	0.04652	93	77	14	2
4569	Good news. You've passed the stress test.	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
4570	Okay now it's your turn.	1.1932	0.05075	88	74	11	3
4571	For your other kidney, why don't I use my left hand.	1.1932	0.04233	88	71	17	0
4572	I’m running a little late today, so let’s get right to it.	1.1932	0.04531	88	72	15	1
4573	Killing it.	1.1932	0.05075	88	74	11	3
4574	Can you show me how you did it with your high success rate?	1.1932	0.04531	88	72	15	1
4575	'Think of your mother-in-law and now try again'	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
4576	Human Resources tells us to call it 'remote chiropractics'.	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
4577	It's a left over from medical school when we were learning how do do surgical incisions.	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
4578	This is the latest in homeopathic medicine.	1.1932	0.05075	88	74	11	3
4579	I assure you if I was trying to hit the heart I could have hit the heart.	1.1930	0.05838	57	47	9	1
4580	The actual treatment approval is pending human trials, although there is evidence from centuries of carnivals.	1.1928	0.04681	83	68	14	1
4581	So, let's see if 13 is really your lucky number	1.1928	0.04985	83	69	12	2
4582	Lucky for you, I'm due for a miss.	1.1928	0.04681	83	68	14	1
4583	Have you ever been stabbed in the back by someone you trusted?	1.1928	0.04681	83	68	14	1
4584	It’s this or the colonoscopy.	1.1928	0.04681	83	68	14	1
4585	As you can see only possible explanation is I never miss.	1.1928	0.04985	83	69	12	2
4586	Of course, the ones that hit your body don't leave a mark.	1.1928	0.05544	83	71	8	4
4587	My last patient's surgery was a success. Unfortunately he succumbed to heart failure.	1.1928	0.04985	83	69	12	2
4588	Don’t worry. We miss most times.	1.1928	0.04356	83	67	16	0
4589	As you can see, I'm very good and handling knives.	1.1928	0.04681	83	68	14	1
4590	The first guy didn’t make it through the severing process.	1.1928	0.05272	83	70	10	3
4591	This is our wailing—I mean—waiting wall. Today Dr. Octopus is out of office. Dr. Jekyll will be in to saw—I mean—see you in a moment.	1.1928	0.04985	83	69	12	2
4592	It's my alternative to acupuncture.	1.1928	0.04356	83	67	16	0
4593	This is our new weight loss plan.	1.1928	0.04985	83	69	12	2
4594	Your Knife Throw Index falls within the guidelines.	1.1928	0.04681	83	68	14	1
4595	We're running low on anesthesia.	1.1928	0.04985	83	69	12	2
4596	When I was younger I was really into Impalement Arts. Parents thought I should become a doctor.	1.1928	0.04681	83	68	14	1
4597	Carving out a specialty is harder than I thought.	1.1928	0.05272	83	70	10	3
4598	I've been very accurate so far but you never know what might happen this time?!	1.1928	0.05272	83	70	10	3
4599	As you see, at your age a circumcision can be hit or miss.	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
4600	Say What?	1.1923	0.05492	78	66	9	3
4601	My hobby…	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
4602	Once I overcome my fear of blood, your surgery will be scheduled.	1.1923	0.05492	78	66	9	3
4603	The hospital said if I can get my survival rate up they'll name the procedure after me.	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
4604	Participants get 25% off their next treatment.	1.1923	0.04491	78	63	15	0
4605	I know Charades hints are supposed to be silent, but think Julius Caesar, Act III, Scene 2.	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
4606	Ok no more fooling around, get on the bed and we'll get started for real	1.1923	0.04491	78	63	15	0
4607	This method hasn’t had FDA approval but I still thought I’d take a stab at it.	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
4608	So, how would you describe the quality of your pain?	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
4609	Baker’s Dozen! Next one’s free.	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
4610	How do you feel about the number 13?	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
4611	It helps me loosen up before surgery.	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
4612	With your operation, we're trying out a brand, new surgical technique.	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
4613	Hiccups? No problem.	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
4614	A hundred throws, but I keep missing the target.	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
4615	Insurance normally doesn’t cover cutting-edge procedures.	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
4616	Your aim does not inspire confidence, Dr.	1.1923	0.04491	78	63	15	0
4617	I’m glad you’ve learned to be honest about your weight.	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
4618	The treatment is in development.	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
4619	I call my next trick “blindfolded appendectomy.”	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
4620	Each week we reduce the size of the outline. Our program has proven to be is more effective than the new weight loss drugs.	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
4621	Don't worry about the operation Mr. Jenkins. My skill with a scalpel is legendary.	1.1923	0.05519	52	42	10	0
4622	Johns time in the circus did not, in fact, prepare him to join the special forces	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
4623	While the code of medical ethics prevents me from operating on a family member, the brotherhood of magicians has almost no restrictions regarding assistants.	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
4624	As you can see it's a perfectly safe procedure.	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
4625	Don’t worry I never miss. Except when I threw one at our triplet after I caught him with my wife. Or was that you?	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
4626	If you think thats good wait till i carve out your little appendix blindfolded	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
4627	Insurance covers everything accept hernias	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
4628	Looks like it’s another near miss to add to your chart	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
4629	No, we stopped throwing leeches years ago.	1.1918	0.05398	73	61	10	2
4630	Don't worry, you are a little shorter but a little wider.	1.1918	0.05398	73	61	10	2
4631	There's a 1 out of 13 chance that the procedure may cause some further rcomplications.	1.1918	0.04640	73	59	14	0
4632	Relax. It won’t even leave a scar.	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
4633	Are you sure you need elective surgery?	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
4634	You in?	1.1918	0.04640	73	59	14	0
4635	Just sharpening my skills.	1.1918	0.05398	73	61	10	2
4636	``Now, remember. Don't forget to cough when I throw the last knife.''	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
4637	Oh, don't worry. Those were just the pre-op procedures.	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
4638	And during the operation, I may even remove the blindfold.	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
4639	Feel better now?	1.1918	0.04640	73	59	14	0
4640	And for my next trick....	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
4641	Luck or Skill?	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
4642	I swear we’d be identical twins if I use this last knife to trim my nose.	1.1918	0.05398	73	61	10	2
4643	Now, let’s try something different, please remove the robe. You can keep your socks and shoes on”	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
4644	Now if you step forward, we can start the surgery.	1.1915	0.04351	94	77	16	1
4645	Medicine is both an art and a science.	1.1912	0.05644	68	57	9	2
4646	Are you quite sure you want that vasectomy?	1.1912	0.05241	68	56	11	1
4647	I acquired my knife skills from my circus performances.	1.1912	0.05644	68	57	9	2
4648	Relax, it's a complimentary skill	1.1912	0.05241	68	56	11	1
4649	Trust me. It's a much better indicator of reflexes.	1.1912	0.05241	68	56	11	1
4650	We just have ti run a few tests before we can schedule your procedure	1.1912	0.06021	68	58	7	3
4651	Told you it would be painless.	1.1912	0.04804	68	55	13	0
4652	It's the latest eye test. If you can do this, your eyes are 20/20!	1.1912	0.06375	68	59	5	4
4653	There will be a discount on your medical bill for today.	1.1912	0.05241	68	56	11	1
4654	We came up with a scoliosis treatment your insurance covers.	1.1912	0.05241	68	56	11	1
4655	That's just a part of my first-year med-school surgical studies course.	1.1912	0.05644	68	57	9	2
4656	Now for the details	1.1912	0.06021	68	58	7	3
4657	Inconclusive. I’m sorry. The literature at this point suggests sword swallowing.	1.1912	0.04804	68	55	13	0
4658	…and these knives can be YOURS for just three easy co-pays of 49.99.	1.1912	0.05644	68	57	9	2
4659	And here's where I close all my time-travel loops.	1.1912	0.05644	68	57	9	2
4660	I'm not very good at euthanasia	1.1912	0.05644	68	57	9	2
4661	Like I said, becoming a doctor was my father’s dream, not mine”	1.1912	0.05241	68	56	11	1
4662	No, this is actually a terrible way to operate, but it's really just more about boredom for me, at this point.	1.1910	0.04485	89	73	15	1
4663	I was top of my class at Harry Houdini Medical School	1.1910	0.04761	89	74	13	2
4664	Whoops	1.1910	0.04761	89	74	13	2
4665	We fail with surgical precision.	1.1905	0.05214	84	71	10	3
4666	Chances are . . .!	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
4667	Dr. Jefferson nearly completes his residency in general surgery.	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
4668	Like I said, the procedure can be a bit hit-and-miss.	1.1905	0.05476	63	52	10	1
4669	If you think I’m pretty good at knife throwing, you should see my appendectomies.	1.1905	0.05476	63	52	10	1
4670	AS YOU CAN SEE OUR TESTING IS ENTIRELY NON-INVASIVE	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
4671	Your insurance will only cover gamma knife after we’ve tried this.	1.1905	0.05476	63	52	10	1
4672	As you can see this procedure is right on target for you	1.1905	0.05925	63	53	8	2
4673	Yes, I’ve run a highly successful practice for over fifteen years.	1.1905	0.04310	84	68	16	0
4674	Don't worry, I pretend to throw them and they pop out from behind!	1.1905	0.06343	63	54	6	3
4675	It’s the best high intensity eye exam ever.	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
4676	Hello, it is way past time for a new cartoon.	1.1905	0.05214	84	71	10	3
4677	Disarmed you thought! He's a southpaw though! One left!	1.1905	0.05476	63	52	10	1
4678	I'm not much of an art collector, but I know what I like. (Steve Griffin, South Hadley, MA)	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
4679	Don’t worry, I always practice before surgery. I makes my hands steady.	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
4680	That is the tool disinfecting wall. Top of the line. Why don’t I show you how it works.	1.1905	0.05214	84	71	10	3
4681	This is just standard prep for all MRI scans	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
4682	See, you’re all clear. That should cure your anxiety right up.	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
4683	Thanks for letting me practice my sideshow act. It’s been a real circus around here.	1.1905	0.04310	84	68	16	0
4684	This is our practice template before surgery	1.1900	0.04426	100	83	15	2
4685	I know what you’re thinking, but my surgery record isn’t anywhere near as good.	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
4686	Fortunately we don't use this for circumcision	1.1899	0.05428	79	67	9	3
4687	Don't sweat it, vasectomies have been routinized.	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
4688	We are experimenting with homeopathic surgery	1.1899	0.04441	79	64	15	0
4689	You want the problem cut out, OK, this should do it.	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
4690	OK, I wasn't at the top of my class in anatomy.	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
4691	He never gets the point; but you will	1.1899	0.05120	79	66	11	2
4692	As you can see, as a doctor doing operations, I've been very successful.	1.1899	0.05120	79	66	11	2
4693	It's scary. The last knife won't be far from what you think!	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
4694	As long as you’re the one putting me under the knife	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
4695	You have nothing to fear - my second opinions have all been spot on.	1.1899	0.05120	79	66	11	2
4696	We can offer you ‘contact free’ surgery, but there are still a few bugs.	1.1899	0.05120	79	66	11	2
4697	This was the only procedure OK'd by your Health Care Provider.	1.1899	0.05120	79	66	11	2
4698	Okay now you try	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
4699	It’s completely non-invasive to cleanse your aura	1.1899	0.05120	79	66	11	2
4700	I promise the autopsy will be less painful.	1.1899	0.04441	79	64	15	0
4701	Don't worry Bob, this is just a westernized version of acupuncture, you'll barely feel a thing"	1.1899	0.04441	79	64	15	0
4702	Lucky for you it’s an “out of body” diagnosis!	1.1897	0.05193	58	47	11	0
4703	Well Mr. Smith the test results are in. You claim you were 'stabbed in the back' by your ex Becky? Turns out, that is completely impossible.	1.1895	0.04802	95	80	12	3
4704	We’re a little short of Drs.so you may have to do this your self.	1.1892	0.05331	74	62	10	2
4705	Hopefully, this removes all doubt about your scheduled circumcision.	1.1892	0.04971	74	61	12	1
4706	We’ve had great success at reversing the effects of testicular swelling, Mr. Johnson. It is important, however, that you remain perfectly still.	1.1892	0.05331	74	62	10	2
4707	Many patients report a significant reduction in anxiety after successfully completing this treatment regimen.	1.1892	0.05331	74	62	10	2
4708	Am I crazy, or do you still don't trust my skills as a surgeon?	1.1892	0.04971	74	61	12	1
4709	Mr. Jameson, this next test is "Connect The Dots" just don't move your arms...	1.1892	0.04971	74	61	12	1
4710	The procedure I'm proposing gives new meaning to cutting edge technology	1.1892	0.05331	74	62	10	2
4711	You will definitely sleep better tonight.	1.1892	0.04584	74	60	14	0
4712	It's a new surgical technique so you don't have to be lying on your back for hours.	1.1892	0.04584	74	60	14	0
4713	How much do you trust your doctor?	1.1892	0.04971	74	61	12	1
4714	The gown didn't used to be open in the back	1.1892	0.04971	74	61	12	1
4715	Like I told you, you are in the target age group.	1.1892	0.04971	74	61	12	1
4716	Your chakras shouldn’t bother you anymore.	1.1892	0.05331	74	62	10	2
4717	So, tell me why you feel 'they're out to get me'?	1.1892	0.04971	74	61	12	1
4718	Oh good, my lunch break is in 10 minutes"	1.1892	0.05331	74	62	10	2
4719	We’ll be doing the operation remotely.	1.1892	0.04584	74	60	14	0
4720	See? Just stand in the middle. I can do it again.	1.1892	0.04971	74	61	12	1
4721	So Brian,tell me again where the last one goes?	1.1892	0.05331	74	62	10	2
4722	Don't worry. I did my residency with Barnum & Bailey.	1.1892	0.05331	74	62	10	2
4723	I'm a different kind of doctor	1.1892	0.04584	74	60	14	0
4724	As you can see, I’m very precise.	1.1892	0.05331	74	62	10	2
4725	Are you feeling lucky, punk?	1.1889	0.04440	90	74	15	1
4726	You passed the, "Am I Ready for Marriage" test.	1.1889	0.04440	90	74	15	1
4727	Don't worry, it's standard procedure.	1.1889	0.04440	90	74	15	1
4728	Yes, you’re terminally ill, but I can make you ‘feel’ more alive.	1.1884	0.05939	69	59	7	3
4729	Can you guess now where the incision will be made?	1.1884	0.05939	69	59	7	3
4730	This last one will point directly to the cause of your problem.	1.1884	0.04742	69	56	13	0
4731	Pretty good, wouldn’t you say? Now this last one goes right at the top of that upside down V.	1.1884	0.05569	69	58	9	2
4732	The phlebotomist will be with you shortly.	1.1884	0.05569	69	58	9	2
4733	I think I want a second opinion.	1.1884	0.05172	69	57	11	1
4734	The only thing you might feel is a little poke.	1.1884	0.05569	69	58	9	2
4735	This will be done on an outpatient basis.	1.1884	0.04742	69	56	13	0
4736	We're very pleased with our success rate.	1.1884	0.05569	69	58	9	2
4737	Most people are out by the third shot and it’s cheaper than anaesthetic.	1.1884	0.04742	69	56	13	0
4738	C’mon, what are the odds?	1.1884	0.04742	69	56	13	0
4739	Well that could have taken a sharp turn.	1.1884	0.05569	69	58	9	2
4740	Step right up. The ghost is clear.	1.1884	0.05569	69	58	9	2
4741	My method has helped all of my living patients keep off the extra weight.	1.1884	0.04742	69	56	13	0
4742	Yeah, sorry, but it's all your insurance covers.	1.1884	0.05569	69	58	9	2
4743	Statistically, you're dead.	1.1884	0.05172	69	57	11	1
4744	Only one more.	1.1884	0.05172	69	57	11	1
4745	Oh, no worries--I just mark the places wheee that red stuff comes out, and I avoid them.	1.1884	0.05172	69	57	11	1
4746	Oops-the nurse put up the wrong chart again...	1.1884	0.04742	69	56	13	0
4747	Wow, you had a one in twelve chance of dying, congratulations on defying all odds.	1.1884	0.05172	69	57	11	1
4748	This procedure has certain risks involved, I must warn you.	1.1884	0.04742	69	56	13	0
4749	Yes. My diagnostic skills are a little hit and miss. What have you to lose?	1.1884	0.05172	69	57	11	1
4750	This is your last chance to get it right.	1.1884	0.05172	69	57	11	1
4751	Don't worry, that was just me practicing on ZOOM.	1.1884	0.05569	69	58	9	2
4752	As you can see from our previous patient's record, we may miss a few times before we cut the right spot.	1.1884	0.04742	69	56	13	0
4753	Imagine what I'll be capable of once I move within striking distance.	1.1884	0.05172	69	57	11	1
4754	This last one is going right between the legs so get back over there	1.1884	0.05172	69	57	11	1
4755	We have successfully removed your 2022 bad aura. Now ready for a new year!	1.1884	0.05172	69	57	11	1
4756	Of course, our new surgical techniques will provide a much higher chance of survival	1.1882	0.04582	85	70	14	1
4757	Are you ready to be circumcised? Not to worry, I’ve been practicing.	1.1882	0.05157	85	72	10	3
4758	Put a cleaver just above inseam and then label..oops	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
4759	I feel very confident about the outcome of the proposed procedure that we discussed....	1.1882	0.04265	85	69	16	0
4760	Let's see, I'm not sure where I need to operate.	1.1882	0.04582	85	70	14	1
4761	Rest assured; it's a noninvasive, out patient technique.	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
4762	We recommend losing weight before the surgery.	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
4763	NOW will you agree to let me do surgery?	1.1882	0.04582	85	70	14	1
4764	Don’t worry, the knives are dull.	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
4765	I keep missing you baby but my aim is getting better.	1.1882	0.04582	85	70	14	1
4766	Hmm your blood pressure is still on the low side	1.1882	0.04265	85	69	16	0
4767	so you can see I'm pretty good with a knife	1.1875	0.04917	64	52	12	0
4768	It's a proven method of weight reduction	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
4769	Well, that is pretty good Doc, but what's it got to do with my appendix?	1.1875	0.05840	64	54	8	2
4770	In med school we practiced on aardvarks. Hey, did you catch that new cannibal movie? Anyway, I was aiming for your bellybutton, so let's hope I have better luck in tomorrow's heart surgery. Best first date ever; am I right? I'm Gordon. Burrrrrrrrp!	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
4771	sir its raining up on him please don't make him rain down	1.1875	0.06250	64	55	6	3
4772	DoOn't put on any weight	1.1875	0.04738	80	66	13	1
4773	You must be loved	1.1875	0.04917	64	52	12	0
4774	We're both heartless.	1.1875	0.05364	80	68	9	3
4775	I was actually aiming for the heart.	1.1875	0.04391	80	65	15	0
4776	My good man, there is no need for concern. I assure you, your have excellent health insurance”	1.1875	0.05840	64	54	8	2
4777	Do you always miss?	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
4778	This is from one of my practical examinations in Med School so just relax and in no time you will be under and the next thing you will know is that the operation is over.	1.1875	0.04738	80	66	13	1
4779	I've got blindfolds for both of us. That's why it's called double-blind testing.	1.1875	0.06250	64	55	6	3
4780	Surgical dexterity warm up	1.1875	0.04738	80	66	13	1
4781	Above all, do no harm.	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
4782	I'm pretty good at the boardgame Operation too.	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
4783	have you read the side effects of this procedure?	1.1875	0.05364	80	68	9	3
4784	The knives are magnetically charged, so just stay positive and you will be fine.	1.1875	0.05398	64	53	10	1
4785	Now you know the meaning of what we do	1.1875	0.06250	64	55	6	3
4786	Well, now we'll see if we can get to the heart of the matter. Are you up for it?	1.1875	0.04519	96	80	14	2
4787	There’s got to be an easier way to perform euthanasia.	1.1875	0.04738	80	66	13	1
4788	Thirteen is my lucky number.	1.1875	0.05840	64	54	8	2
4789	'Mr Scaramouche the fandango procedure is rather a simple one'	1.1875	0.05364	80	68	9	3
4790	It might not remove your cancer, but I promise you, it will be quite a show	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
4791	We really need a better surface for this.	1.1875	0.04391	80	65	15	0
4792	Stand up surgery saves so much space.	1.1868	0.04108	91	74	17	0
4793	Yes, Ed Ames was my grandfather, but I won't miss.	1.1868	0.04920	91	77	11	3
4794	This is a highly motivational technique achieving ideal body mass	1.1868	0.04920	91	77	11	3
4795	Now that we’ve removed the majority of your body hair, the microblading procedure should be easy.	1.1868	0.04108	91	74	17	0
4796	Step to the board. Your scheduled surgeon had to do an emergency heart operation.	1.1867	0.04530	75	61	14	0
4797	Stand there, and I’ll practice my surgical skills.	1.1867	0.04911	75	62	12	1
4798	Yet, I only see sharp lines	1.1867	0.04530	75	61	14	0
4799	Don't stress about it.	1.1867	0.05265	75	63	10	2
4800	I guess surgery isn't in the cards for you today.	1.1867	0.04530	75	61	14	0
4801	…..and another possible side effect is exsanguination.	1.1867	0.04530	75	61	14	0
4802	No matter how hard we may strive for perfection, luck will always be the final judge of our fate.	1.1867	0.04530	75	61	14	0
4803	When we miss our throw we can pinpoint the problem.	1.1867	0.04530	75	61	14	0
4804	You get to choose 3.	1.1867	0.04911	75	62	12	1
4805	What if I promise to do the surgery without the blindfold this time?	1.1867	0.05265	75	63	10	2
4806	I’ve never hit an artery	1.1867	0.04911	75	62	12	1
4807	The Congressman-elect says I'm flu-ish.	1.1867	0.05265	75	63	10	2
4808	I'm also good at cutouts	1.1867	0.04911	75	62	12	1
4809	I’m confident performing your surgery live on America’s Got Talent will be a big hit.	1.1867	0.05265	75	63	10	2
4810	No worries. I haven’t lost a patient yet.	1.1867	0.04911	75	62	12	1
4811	^This is where my excision skills merge with exorcism." :	1.1867	0.04911	75	62	12	1
4812	I've never lost anyone on the table...	1.1867	0.04530	75	61	14	0
4813	It's OK. I'm board certified.	1.1867	0.04911	75	62	12	1
4814	I’d tell you the results but we have to have the radiologist look at this first.	1.1867	0.05265	75	63	10	2
4815	Six of one half a dozen of the other, just knives.	1.1867	0.05265	75	63	10	2
4816	Impressive knife skills, amirite? Just a little morale booster before we get started.	1.1867	0.04911	75	62	12	1
4817	No, those are the misses, I am also a divorce attorney	1.1867	0.05597	75	64	8	3
4818	See? You're in safe hands.	1.1867	0.04530	75	61	14	0
4819	Like I said, we have no silver bullet.	1.1867	0.04530	75	61	14	0
4820	See? Told you you were safe the whole te.	1.1867	0.04911	75	62	12	1
4821	This isn’t what I expected when I made my appointment for “The Jab”	1.1867	0.05265	75	63	10	2
4822	Interesting. As well as everyone you’ve ever loved your personality also repels metal.	1.1867	0.05265	75	63	10	2
4823	It’s a fine job, flexible hours and Christmas bonus	1.1867	0.05265	75	63	10	2
4824	So this is what you meant by cutting edge?	1.1864	0.06609	59	51	5	3
4825	Here's a helpful chart to show you what medical conditions your insurance covers.	1.1864	0.06151	59	50	7	2
4826	Ready for your acupuncture?	1.1864	0.05657	59	49	9	1
4827	Good news, you survived. Bad news, you’ll die one day.	1.1863	0.04564	102	86	13	3
4828	So far, the tests have been good, but this isn't an exact science.	1.1860	0.04826	86	72	12	2
4829	No, I won't be nicking any nearby arteries	1.1860	0.05101	86	73	10	3
4830	This 13th knife may not be so lucky for you.	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
4831	As you can see,he never felt a thing	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
4832	Education AND experience.	1.1860	0.04221	86	70	16	0
4833	Your form said “surgerical intervention optional”.	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
4834	Looks like your a cut above the rest	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
4835	HOW COW BROWN NOW!	1.1860	0.04826	86	72	12	2
4836	As a method of treating DTs it’s harsh but effective.	1.1860	0.04826	86	72	12	2
4837	Now Doc didn't you say that you had a contingency referral agreement with a dentist?	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
4838	Knife therapy may not have fixed your depression but we have many more GOOP products to try	1.1860	0.04826	86	72	12	2
4839	Actually, I studied under Ed Ames.	1.1857	0.04682	70	57	13	0
4840	This is where we check your anxiety level.	1.1857	0.05105	70	58	11	1
4841	It's called Ginsu therapy.	1.1857	0.05495	70	59	9	2
4842	There is a female one available.	1.1857	0.05105	70	58	11	1
4843	No problem at all. Look how well I did with the last vict...er...I mean patient!	1.1857	0.05860	70	60	7	3
4844	You know the old saying, ‘Practice makes perfect’.	1.1857	0.05105	70	58	11	1
4845	I told you this treatment was cutting edge.	1.1857	0.05105	70	58	11	1
4846	Your aura is very sharp.	1.1857	0.05105	70	58	11	1
4847	Just stand inside the outline and we’ll have that gallbladder out in no time.	1.1857	0.05105	70	58	11	1
4848	You might want to stand on your toes and hitch up your gown. We haven’t had much luck sticking this last one.	1.1857	0.05495	70	59	9	2
4849	I give the test results to the anesthesiologist.	1.1857	0.05105	70	58	11	1
4850	I missed on purpose.	1.1857	0.05495	70	59	9	2
4851	Will you be operating remotely?	1.1857	0.05105	70	58	11	1
4852	It's called knife adjacent	1.1857	0.05860	70	60	7	3
4853	This is the 13th knife. Where do you think it will go?	1.1856	0.05351	97	85	6	6
4854	we always aim to please with our surgery	1.1856	0.04933	97	83	10	4
4855	“With a bit of luck and a lot of pain management, we’re going to try to avoid surgery as long as possible.”	1.1852	0.04685	81	67	13	1
4856	Fortuately, your surgery is on your lef	1.1852	0.05003	81	68	11	2
4857	A low cost random surgery might be just for you.	1.1852	0.05003	81	68	11	2
4858	IT LOOKS LIKE A CLOSE CALL BUT NO ACTUAL BODY OR ORGAN DAMAGE.. AND I AM GRATEFUL YOU ARE NOT A FOREIGN BORN DOCTOR OR SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE TO VERBALIZE MY POSSIBLE MIS-DIAGNOSIS	1.1852	0.05303	81	69	9	3
4859	It's not like I'm asking you to bend over!	1.1852	0.04343	81	66	15	0
4860	Notice the precision.	1.1852	0.04685	81	67	13	1
4861	You get to choose the first cutagory.	1.1852	0.05003	81	68	11	2
4862	Our surgery department is cutting edge.	1.1852	0.04685	81	67	13	1
4863	After a round of throwing, I want to cut human flesh.	1.1852	0.04343	81	66	15	0
4864	This is our cutting edge technology.	1.1852	0.04685	81	67	13	1
4865	Congratulation on being patient zero for my new form of acupuncture	1.1852	0.05955	54	45	8	1
4866	Now we think it's an internal issue.	1.1852	0.04343	81	66	15	0
4867	Next time, I will not miss.	1.1852	0.04685	81	67	13	1
4868	Wait right here,I'll get Ed Ames.	1.1852	0.05003	81	68	11	2
4869	I haven't missed in years.	1.1852	0.04343	81	66	15	0
4870	Sir, this is what Americans do to patients that don’t have medical insurance. We don’t do that here.	1.1852	0.05003	81	68	11	2
4871	How do you feel now about going under the knife?	1.1852	0.05003	81	68	11	2
4872	Our phlebotomist is interning from Romania, why do you ask?	1.1848	0.04619	92	77	13	2
4873	We call it the Wüsthof-Henckels scan.	1.1848	0.04870	92	78	11	3
4874	This result is not a reflection of my surgical skills	1.1848	0.04069	92	75	17	0
4875	As you can see, all the previous tests were negative. Now, we have the last and crucial one.	1.1846	0.05756	65	55	8	2
4876	Sorry I’m a bit nervous. It’s my first time doing a prostate exam. You’ll only feel a little pinch.	1.1846	0.05756	65	55	8	2
4877	It’s optional of course.	1.1846	0.05756	65	55	8	2
4878	Let's pretend it's just digital.	1.1846	0.05756	65	55	8	2
4879	Our new surgeon was better as a magician.	1.1846	0.05322	65	54	10	1
4880	I feel like he's in the center of things.	1.1846	0.05756	65	55	8	2
4881	This is how we avoid the need for stitches.	1.1846	0.05322	65	54	10	1
4882	Ok doc, I understand you swore an oath and all but I feel like we really are pushing our luck a little.	1.1846	0.05322	65	54	10	1
4883	Next I’ll show you my stand up routine, it leaves people in stitches	1.1846	0.05322	65	54	10	1
4884	Don't move! Your health insurance won't recover.	1.1846	0.05756	65	55	8	2
4885	When I say, "take a deep breath", don't.	1.1846	0.04850	65	53	12	0
4886	This time with eyes closed.	1.1846	0.05322	65	54	10	1
4887	It's non-invasive... so far, anyway.	1.1846	0.04850	65	53	12	0
4888	Still better than cancer.	1.1846	0.04850	65	53	12	0
4889	My knife throwing training has really come in handy on the OR floor	1.1846	0.05756	65	55	8	2
4890	Don’t worry, we have since reinforced everywhere on the wall where the knives have hit before.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
4891	Don't panic. You are thinner than the previous one.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
4892	So you needn't worry about side-effects.	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
4893	This is the newest eye test. See if you can aim the knife next to the let wrist.	1.1842	0.05528	76	65	8	3
4894	I resist doing vasectomies	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
4895	What's your pleasure? With or without a blindfold?	1.1842	0.04476	76	62	14	0
4896	Knife throwing as a surgical practice is how we kept the whole '6 feet' thing going during lockdowns.	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
4897	As you can see, it's perfectly safe.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
4898	Its our new "Terror-based" Surgery, it cures hypochondriacs faster than any placebo	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
4899	Five out of Twelve ain't Bad	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
4900	Here's a knife if you'd like to take a stab at this.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
4901	At this low price, we did missed a few times.	1.1842	0.04476	76	62	14	0
4902	I quit my night job. My day job is pretty similar, but with a bigger paycheck and a more comfortable uniform.	1.1842	0.04476	76	62	14	0
4903	We could also treat you with a non-invasive bullwhip.	1.1842	0.04476	76	62	14	0
4904	Dr. Throckmorton is out, so I'll be filling in for him today.	1.1842	0.05528	76	65	8	3
4905	Does your health insurance cover being stabbed in the back?	1.1842	0.05528	76	65	8	3
4906	Never hit anything vital!	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
4907	Time to go under the knife!	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
4908	You’re missing the point of non-invasive surgery”	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
4909	My shoulders are too round for this.	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
4910	See? Never hit anyone.	1.1842	0.04476	76	62	14	0
4911	Did you ever see the clip of Ed Ames on the Carson show?	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
4912	Now we'll start on the lower extremities.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
4913	It shows us pretty quickly if you're out of shape.	1.1842	0.05528	76	65	8	3
4914	It's a test that we use to measure anxiety.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
4915	As an alternative you could try this treatment.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
4916	So far, so good. I got your back.	1.1842	0.05528	76	65	8	3
4917	I think they call it trauma-informed medicine.	1.1842	0.04476	76	62	14	0
4918	THIS IS MY NEW SURGICAL TECHNIQUE.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
4919	Give it to me straight, Doc.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
4920	For some reason our chart can't record the ones inside the lines.	1.1842	0.05528	76	65	8	3
4921	I told you I don't see colour"	1.1842	0.05528	76	65	8	3
4922	As medical procedures go, it's hit or miss.	1.1839	0.04775	87	73	12	2
4923	...and speaking of your visectomy	1.1839	0.04775	87	73	12	2
4924	Its’s called alternative surgery with your shoes on!	1.1839	0.05047	87	74	10	3
4925	I'd mind the insults, Mr. Prescott. As you can see, my average throw went directly through the heart.	1.1839	0.05047	87	74	10	3
4926	My recent patients are doing well. I suppose my luck will run out eventually.	1.1839	0.04775	87	73	12	2
4927	I'm pleased with your progress, next week you'll be at ease going under the knife.	1.1839	0.04775	87	73	12	2
4928	This test only has side effects one out of 13 times	1.1839	0.04486	87	72	14	1
4929	this is the newest change to your insurance billing policy - you qualify if you survive!	1.1839	0.04775	87	73	12	2
4930	Your insurance plan doesn't cover glasses for me	1.1839	0.05047	87	74	10	3
4931	They says it’s like acupuncture, but without the puncture.	1.1833	0.05570	60	50	9	1
4932	A stabbing pain, you say? There's a lot of that going around.	1.1833	0.05570	60	50	9	1
4933	And, we recommend the Circumpuncture method to treat your panic attacks.	1.1833	0.05038	60	49	11	0
4934	Told ya I could do it	1.1833	0.05570	60	50	9	1
4935	The knife operation cures that shaky syndrome!	1.1831	0.05039	71	59	11	1
4936	And this is why we perform appendectomy with the patient laying down	1.1831	0.05039	71	59	11	1
4937	Hey Al, Get back there-- I said just one more between the legs.	1.1831	0.05039	71	59	11	1
4938	Still want that vasectomy?	1.1831	0.05039	71	59	11	1
4939	Don't worry. Everything has been sanitized.	1.1831	0.05039	71	59	11	1
4940	I promise that you will be the target of a very precise knife when I operate today.	1.1831	0.05424	71	60	9	2
4941	Precision is critical to our training	1.1831	0.05039	71	59	11	1
4942	The surgery takes only a second or two, and no recuperation is needed.	1.1831	0.04623	71	58	13	0
4943	it's important to think outside the box.	1.1831	0.05424	71	60	9	2
4944	Of course, we always perform surgery in a theater.	1.1831	0.05424	71	60	9	2
4945	I think I should get a second opinion	1.1831	0.05039	71	59	11	1
4946	I'm still working on that acupuncture thing	1.1831	0.05039	71	59	11	1
4947	We've got twelve knives on the board. Let's make it a 'knife thrower's dozen"	1.1831	0.04623	71	58	13	0
4948	Thirteen is my lucky number. Take a chance.	1.1831	0.05424	71	60	9	2
4949	I was never one for 'Operation'. I never felt the buzz.	1.1831	0.05039	71	59	11	1
4950	As you can see, our complication rate for this procedure is very low.	1.1831	0.05424	71	60	9	2
4951	I call it Fear Treatment; good for whatever ails you.	1.1831	0.04623	71	58	13	0
4952	I have gotten much better with experience. Ready?	1.1831	0.05424	71	60	9	2
4953	Your Body Mass Index is improving. Now let's check that prostate.	1.1831	0.05424	71	60	9	2
4954	Yeah, your reflexes are shit.	1.1831	0.05039	71	59	11	1
4955	Since I graduated from acupuncture school, I have modified my practice to include fear and trust.	1.1831	0.05039	71	59	11	1
4956	Don't worry, we use AI tools to ensure your safety.	1.1831	0.05039	71	59	11	1
4957	You see, I am a perfect doctor.	1.1831	0.05039	71	59	11	1
4958	9 out of every 10 doctors don't agree with this procedure	1.1831	0.04623	71	58	13	0
4959	It's a twin thing.	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
4960	Ever heard of Ernie Kovacs?	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
4961	So, I have good news and I have bad news. Amy Cohen Arlington MA	1.1829	0.05243	82	70	9	3
4962	We're getting closer to finding out what's wrong with you.	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
4963	Your next and this is knife is "lucky" number 13	1.1829	0.04947	82	69	11	2
4964	It takes a lot of practice to make the right incision.	1.1829	0.04947	82	69	11	2
4965	While our evidence is anecdotal so far, we believe what doesn't kill you, will make you better.	1.1829	0.04947	82	69	11	2
4966	Do I get your vote of confidence for your gall bladder surgery?	1.1829	0.04296	82	67	15	0
4967	I promise you won't be a near miss like the last one.	1.1829	0.04947	82	69	11	2
4968	Should we wait until there's a dull moment around here?	1.1829	0.04947	82	69	11	2
4969	We scared people back to health.	1.1829	0.04947	82	69	11	2
4970	A narrow escape: dodging danger and surviving the attack.	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
4971	You see "Going under the knife" is metaphorical	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
4972	you should be all set for your trip to Vegas	1.1829	0.04947	82	69	11	2
4973	Cut from the same cloth	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
4974	I’ve only done this a few times, but none of my patients have complained about the pain before	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
4975	Now, say ‘Ahhh!’	1.1828	0.04573	93	78	13	2
4976	In my medical opinion, it’s a perfect combination of an extremely aggressive approach with little to no expectation of success.”	1.1828	0.04822	93	79	11	3
4977	Just trust me doing your vasectomy. I’ve done many.	1.1828	0.04310	93	77	15	1
4978	Your insurance won’t cover this. It’s a cutting-edge procedure.	1.1827	0.04045	104	86	17	1
4979	And the worst part is that because I’m a proctologist you have to stand back onto me… now relax and step into the board	1.1818	0.04784	66	54	12	0
4980	He's been reading William Burroughs or William Tell	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
4981	I think this last throw will be the end any copays for you.	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
4982	Sorry. I kept missing your appendix.	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
4983	Yes, I agree, it seems like a lot of knives to perform a simple vasectomy.	1.1818	0.04135	88	72	16	0
4984	This is the quickest and easiest way to perform a vasectomy. And I've done this once before.	1.1818	0.04994	88	75	10	3
4985	I did my residency at Ringling Brothers.	1.1818	0.05249	66	55	10	1
4986	And with the Ginzu, you'll receive a set of steak knives.	1.1818	0.05249	66	55	10	1
4987	Have no fear; I never miss.	1.1818	0.04784	66	54	12	0
4988	Haven't missed yet!	1.1818	0.05249	66	55	10	1
4989	Whoo, that's what happened to the last patient, now bend over	1.1818	0.04784	66	54	12	0
4990	Not to worry - check out my successes.	1.1818	0.06072	66	57	6	3
4991	With my prior patient, I've been 100% accurate 30% of the time.	1.1818	0.04784	66	54	12	0
4992	P. T. Barnum billed it as the acupuncture of the West.	1.1818	0.04725	88	74	12	2
4993	we'll be entering uncharted territory here	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
4994	You can see, I don't believe in murder.	1.1818	0.05766	77	67	6	4
4995	This is my first vasectomy.	1.1818	0.05675	66	56	8	2
4996	Your insurance requires that I confirm you’ve followed the preparation guidelines before I begin the colonoscopy.	1.1818	0.05139	77	65	10	2
4997	I know it may seem a little aggressive, but we like to thoroughly define our limits before surgery.	1.1818	0.04440	88	73	14	1
4998	This will be my first appendectomy.	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
4999	I really can't say because revealing the outcome of the study on previous volunteers might skew the results.	1.1818	0.04424	77	63	14	0
5000	But wait…there’s more!	1.1818	0.05766	77	67	6	4
5001	Perhaps Doc this situation calls for “knives out”	1.1818	0.05139	77	65	10	2
5002	ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5003	It will help you relax	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5004	Now bend over and try not to cough.	1.1818	0.06404	55	47	6	2
5005	We've had some cutbacks in our Imaging Department.	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5006	If I cut the neck chord on your gown it might or might not fall off.....	1.1818	0.05249	66	55	10	1
5007	This is where we put the patient for the first incision. Sometimes we miss.	1.1818	0.05675	66	56	8	2
5008	So? Other professions throw darts in the break room.	1.1818	0.04784	66	54	12	0
5009	If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5010	Your vasectomy should not present any special problems.	1.1818	0.05675	66	56	8	2
5011	Ah…that’s a memento from my previous job with the circus…	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5012	Thirteenth time’s a charm.	1.1818	0.05461	77	66	8	3
5013	Luckily, you're no larger than our previous subjects	1.1818	0.05249	66	55	10	1
5014	True, I'm not a conventional surgeon, but I do accept Medicare and all major insurances."	1.1809	0.04528	94	79	13	2
5015	It’s how we train first-year surgical residents.	1.1807	0.04249	83	68	15	0
5016	As I said, the art of medicine is not always accurate.	1.1807	0.04892	83	70	11	2
5017	Nothing to worry about. Just think of it as a slice of life.	1.1807	0.04892	83	70	11	2
5018	This is just my practice wall for your upcoming surgery.....	1.1807	0.04582	83	69	13	1
5019	It's accupuncture for patients who are afraid of needles.	1.1807	0.04582	83	69	13	1
5020	It's a pre-test to see if you're ready for surgery.	1.1807	0.04582	83	69	13	1
5021	See how this doesn't show the knives that were stuck in the guy. That shows how we present data in this profession.	1.1807	0.04582	83	69	13	1
5022	Our training hospital elective surgery program - you’re a perfect fit. Any question?	1.1807	0.04892	83	70	11	2
5023	As you can see, the test was inconclusive.	1.1807	0.04582	83	69	13	1
5024	I know it's a little rough around the edges but it's a work in progress	1.1807	0.04249	83	68	15	0
5025	It's completely non-invasive.	1.1806	0.04565	72	59	13	0
5026	For my next test, stand between the lines	1.1806	0.04975	72	60	11	1
5027	Truth is, I'm not a very good dentist.	1.1806	0.05354	72	61	9	2
5028	As I told you I'm very skilled with the knife	1.1806	0.05354	72	61	9	2
5029	If you were REALLY my twin brother, you'd do it.	1.1806	0.04975	72	60	11	1
5030	Okay, so we can rule out appendicitis	1.1806	0.04565	72	59	13	0
5031	I seem to be missing the point	1.1806	0.04565	72	59	13	0
5032	This part of the exam tests your vitals.	1.1806	0.05354	72	61	9	2
5033	Are you sure it's just your aura that hurts?	1.1806	0.05354	72	61	9	2
5034	After reviewing your medical scan you will need life insurance.	1.1806	0.04565	72	59	13	0
5035	Look, your insurance only pays my carny rate.	1.1806	0.04565	72	59	13	0
5036	You see, it didn't hurt a bit!	1.1806	0.04975	72	60	11	1
5037	Statistically, you could die.	1.1806	0.04975	72	60	11	1
5038	Don't worry. I've been practicing for a long time.	1.1806	0.04975	72	60	11	1
5039	Yes, this is always how we make the first incision.	1.1806	0.04975	72	60	11	1
5040	No, John -- your healthcare provider won't cover this one.	1.1806	0.05354	72	61	9	2
5041	We brain surgeons embrace this activity to wind down. Ironically, it seems to calm patients.	1.1806	0.04565	72	59	13	0
5042	This next one should do the trick!	1.1806	0.05354	72	61	9	2
5043	The results of our new clinical trial are quite promising. Our patients are learning to suppress their fight or flight response either through fear of grievous injury or threat of financial ruin after hospitalization.	1.1806	0.05708	72	62	7	3
5044	All my patients so far have done very well with this treatment.	1.1806	0.04975	72	60	11	1
5045	Needless to say, Sir, our experimental treatment for your appendicitis was miraculously unsuccessful.	1.1806	0.04565	72	59	13	0
5046	Your insurance company said you didn’t meet your deductible yet.	1.1806	0.04565	72	59	13	0
5047	I've got one knife left, still want me to circumcise you"	1.1803	0.05964	61	52	7	2
5048	I’d recommend dead center for you. I’ll do the rest.	1.1803	0.04963	61	50	11	0
5049	How do we target the disease? As you can see - very carefully.	1.1803	0.05486	61	51	9	1
5050	It's a non-invasive surgical technique	1.1803	0.04963	61	50	11	0
5051	Looks like you're not going under the knife today	1.1803	0.05964	61	52	7	2
5052	See. I have a 100% success rate with this type of thing.	1.1803	0.05486	61	51	9	1
5053	That was just the practice round.	1.1800	0.04353	100	84	14	2
5054	I just had them all sharpened…	1.1798	0.04394	89	74	14	1
5055	I trained under the big top.	1.1798	0.04394	89	74	14	1
5056	The chemo didn't work,sorry.	1.1798	0.04394	89	74	14	1
5057	Be rest assured; I won’t miss.	1.1798	0.04394	89	74	14	1
5058	The surgery took a little longer than I expected.	1.1798	0.04676	89	75	12	2
5059	Would you like to try for 13?	1.1798	0.04394	89	74	14	1
5060	I thought my office told you this will be an out patient procedure.	1.1798	0.04676	89	75	12	2
5061	Those are the X-blades that you didn’t catch	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
5062	People love the act. So what if they don't notice we're twins.	1.1795	0.05396	78	67	8	3
5063	I think if we just reinforce all the areas around you you'll be good to go	1.1795	0.04739	78	65	12	1
5064	I’ve had a colorful and diverse career. But I just love exploratory surgery.	1.1795	0.04373	78	64	14	0
5065	This is not the most common method of taking your measurements. But believe me it works !	1.1795	0.04739	78	65	12	1
5066	Good, now no where you gunna put the heart?	1.1795	0.05396	78	67	8	3
5067	It’s our new, noninvasive technique!	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
5068	You're not even good at self-sabotage.	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
5069	No worries. As you can see I never miss.	1.1795	0.04739	78	65	12	1
5070	Practicing my knife skills.	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
5071	”It’s less invasive than going under the knife.	1.1795	0.04739	78	65	12	1
5072	I just want to assure you I was just practicing with my cutlery set.	1.1795	0.05396	78	67	8	3
5073	Why are some of your knives still in the wall?	1.1795	0.04373	78	64	14	0
5074	This before and after diagram shows the efficacy of our new Cut off the Weight Program.	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
5075	Thank you for volunteering for our double-blind clinical trial.	1.1795	0.04739	78	65	12	1
5076	It’s my first vasectomy.	1.1795	0.04373	78	64	14	0
5077	If you want a second opinion,the circus is in town next week.	1.1795	0.04739	78	65	12	1
5078	I'm sorry, I thought you knew, my M.D. is Doctor of Magic not Doctor of Medicine.	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
5079	Ninety-nine percent of the time it works every time.	1.1795	0.04739	78	65	12	1
5080	I'm more accurate than precise.	1.1795	0.04739	78	65	12	1
5081	The knife only targets cancer. You're fine.	1.1795	0.04739	78	65	12	1
5082	Don’t worry, as you see by yourself, 12 people weren’t stabbed.	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
5083	Congratulations! You’re one surgery away from unlocking the premium dream body package	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
5084	This approach is 98% effective	1.1795	0.04373	78	64	14	0
5085	You no longer have Tuberculosis.	1.1791	0.04720	67	55	12	0
5086	Ok, now we are ready for your surgery	1.1791	0.04720	67	55	12	0
5087	Let me assure you this procedure shouldn’t hurt a bit!	1.1791	0.05177	67	56	10	1
5088	I contacted your insurance company. They say try this first.	1.1791	0.05597	67	57	8	2
5089	I think I just failed my surgical exam. The idea of cutting my twin was just too distracting.	1.1791	0.05597	67	57	8	2
5090	If your insured, we don't have to do it this way.	1.1791	0.05597	67	57	8	2
5091	As I assured you, the side effects of this procedure are all positive.	1.1791	0.05597	67	57	8	2
5092	Knives are safer than radiation.	1.1791	0.05597	67	57	8	2
5093	Now show me me where it doesn’t hurt after you turned 40	1.1791	0.04720	67	55	12	0
5094	OK, now let check those reflexes!	1.1791	0.04720	67	55	12	0
5095	The MRI is out of order, so we're going to resort to this old-fashioned method to determine your diagnosis.	1.1786	0.05126	84	72	9	3
5096	Are you the same size?	1.1786	0.05399	84	73	7	4
5097	And this is how I come to my never fail diagnoses.	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
5098	Where do you want me, Dr. Throwdini?	1.1786	0.04204	84	69	15	0
5099	You're gonna die in this room.	1.1786	0.04838	84	71	11	2
5100	There are some possible side effects you should be aware of.	1.1786	0.04838	84	71	11	2
5101	Oh, I’m so sorry. I forgot to have them clean up the operating table.	1.1786	0.04838	84	71	11	2
5102	Remember, Mr Roberts, that the success of all aversion therapy depends on fruitful collaboration with your therapist.	1.1786	0.04838	84	71	11	2
5103	RELAX. CIRCUMCISION IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PROCEDURE.	1.1786	0.04838	84	71	11	2
5104	OK Hop right back in and we can both focus on getting Centered	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
5105	Past performance doesn’t guarantee future results…but I had a few drinks at lunch and feel good about this.	1.1786	0.04204	84	69	15	0
5106	Try as he might, Dr. Fiddlefaddle was simply unable to pierce the thick hide of his twin brother.	1.1781	0.04913	73	61	11	1
5107	Yeah, I know I keep missing but for the actual surgery I'll be throwing an axe.	1.1781	0.05286	73	62	9	2
5108	We take acupuncture to a whole new level.	1.1781	0.04913	73	61	11	1
5109	This was my best effort.	1.1781	0.04913	73	61	11	1
5110	Of course, we don’t always see skewed results like this.	1.1781	0.04913	73	61	11	1
5111	No sir, they don't all miss... after all this is a hospital.	1.1781	0.05286	73	62	9	2
5112	See, there is nothing to worry about. Your chances of getting zapped is virtually nil!	1.1781	0.04509	73	60	13	0
5113	[sigh] Apparently "ghosting" is now a medical issue, Bob	1.1781	0.04913	73	61	11	1
5114	No, unfortunately there is no laparoscopic version of this procedure	1.1781	0.04913	73	61	11	1
5115	I'll stand much closer when I do your surgery.	1.1781	0.04509	73	60	13	0
5116	Based on your height, weight, and lack of any real dependents, we believe you’re a solid candidate for this next round of clinical trials.	1.1781	0.05634	73	63	7	3
5117	Don’t worry, Mr. Smith – You’ll be completely under by this point and won’t feel a thing.	1.1781	0.04913	73	61	11	1
5118	Your AURA holds onto pain	1.1781	0.04509	73	60	13	0
5119	The good news is that the last patient of the day often receives a complimentary vasectomy.	1.1781	0.04913	73	61	11	1
5120	Your insurance preapproval process for aichmophobia therapy requires a short video supporting my diagnosis.	1.1781	0.05286	73	62	9	2
5121	Like I said, all my diagnostics show there's absolutely nothing wrong with you.	1.1781	0.05286	73	62	9	2
5122	Cutting-edge science	1.1781	0.05286	73	62	9	2
5123	Knife work if you can get it.	1.1781	0.04913	73	61	11	1
5124	I promise this will cure your constipation,	1.1781	0.04509	73	60	13	0
5125	As you can see, we've got a very good record at the first, do no harm protocol.	1.1781	0.04509	73	60	13	0
5126	Your physical health is fine, but I’d keep an eye on that aura of yours	1.1781	0.05286	73	62	9	2
5127	Do you wear the blindfold or should I?	1.1781	0.04913	73	61	11	1
5128	So it’s like the exact opposite of the Milton Bradley game. I call it ‘Minimally-Invasive Operation.’	1.1781	0.05286	73	62	9	2
5129	YOU think YOUR insurance is bad?!? I lost my glasses and can't get in for an eye exam... Anyway, nothing to worry about. This is a routine appendectomy. I could practically do these blindfolded.	1.1781	0.04913	73	61	11	1
5130	Anxiety by a thousand cuts	1.1781	0.05286	73	62	9	2
5131	Don’t worry, surgery has come a long way in the last ten minutes.	1.1781	0.05286	73	62	9	2
5132	See, nothing to fear. Clearly none of them hit the last guy..	1.1781	0.04509	73	60	13	0
5133	Trust me, I'm a doctor.	1.1778	0.04628	90	76	12	2
5134	Vasectomy?	1.1778	0.04890	90	77	10	3
5135	I'm not supposed to tell you this, but this is how they're delivered when they're brand new.	1.1778	0.04350	90	75	14	1
5136	My aim is a little off. Try not to move this time.	1.1774	0.05405	62	52	9	1
5137	Selection bias? Never heard of it.	1.1774	0.05405	62	52	9	1
5138	Statistically,you're still alive.	1.1774	0.05405	62	52	9	1
5139	My last patient was 6'5" and didn't fare too well."	1.1774	0.05405	62	52	9	1
5140	men dart board	1.1774	0.05405	62	52	9	1
5141	We have other options for a stress test but this is the only one your insurance covers.	1.1774	0.05874	62	53	7	2
5142	That covers your co-pay. The fire-breathing will take care of the deductible.	1.1774	0.05874	62	53	7	2
5143	You might want to stay inside the lines	1.1772	0.04684	79	66	12	1
5144	There's no co-pay for the biopsy, because we save on OR time.	1.1772	0.04684	79	66	12	1
5145	I've been voted "The State's Safest Surgeon" by the Minnesota Guild of Circus Performers.	1.1772	0.04684	79	66	12	1
5146	As you can see you're still in good shape!	1.1772	0.05018	79	67	10	2
5147	Dr. i think I'll have the colonoscopy instead, thank you >	1.1772	0.05018	79	67	10	2
5148	It's just another test we do...	1.1772	0.04324	79	65	14	0
5149	Of course, to completely rule out magnetism, I'll need a side view as well.	1.1772	0.04324	79	65	14	0
5150	We guarantee you'll never have permanent hiccups again." Hugo de Faveri, São Paulo, Brasi	1.1772	0.05018	79	67	10	2
5151	I'm much more accurate when surgery actually begins.	1.1772	0.05018	79	67	10	2
5152	This is Training, Dear Resident MD. You choose: Face forward or Nose to the wall	1.1772	0.04684	79	66	12	1
5153	I worked my way through Med School in a carnival side-show.	1.1772	0.04324	79	65	14	0
5154	Define ‘never miss’…	1.1772	0.05018	79	67	10	2
5155	Don't worry. Unlucky 13 is just a myth.	1.1772	0.05018	79	67	10	2
5156	McCarthy appears to be tacked to the wall with little relief in site	1.1772	0.04684	79	66	12	1
5157	You'll tell me later where it hurts.	1.1772	0.04684	79	66	12	1
5158	Where’s your sense of humor? Now get back up on the table so I can put this last knife to good use.	1.1772	0.05332	79	68	8	3
5159	Everything you think is wrong with the world is all in your head and I'm gonna prove it to you!	1.1772	0.04324	79	65	14	0
5160	Diagnosis murder by MD	1.1772	0.04684	79	66	12	1
5161	I’m practicing my non-invasive surgery technique	1.1772	0.05018	79	67	10	2
5162	Don’t worry, my shots never hurt.	1.1765	0.05107	68	57	10	1
5163	Not once did we buzz out.	1.1765	0.04159	85	70	15	0
5164	You’ll see I’ve outlined everything before you go under the knife.	1.1765	0.05107	68	57	10	1
5165	No, this is a test for me.	1.1765	0.05520	68	58	8	2
5166	Yes, I'm feeling fearless, numb, comfortable with attacks, and ready for life.	1.1765	0.05107	68	57	10	1
5167	There's a money back guarantee if your not 100% satisfied	1.1765	0.04657	68	56	12	0
5168	Shall I have one more go at your appendectomy?	1.1765	0.05107	68	57	10	1
5169	It's a new surgical technique. I'm bound to hit what ails you, eventually...	1.1765	0.05904	68	59	6	3
5170	So let’s take another stab at hitting the target	1.1765	0.04484	85	71	13	1
5171	I plan to bill insurance for each of those knives.	1.1765	0.05107	68	57	10	1
5172	Try and remain still...this isn't covered by your insurance.	1.1765	0.04657	68	56	12	0
5173	Statistically speaking you have nothing to worry about.	1.1765	0.04657	68	56	12	0
5174	Well…Doc you have my full confidence.	1.1765	0.05339	85	74	7	4
5175	Honestly, Ma would still say I'm the lucky one.	1.1765	0.04484	85	71	13	1
5176	I like to practice here for my real job at the circus.	1.1765	0.05904	68	59	6	3
5177	Think of it as a doorway.	1.1765	0.05107	68	57	10	1
5178	You'll have to excuse me, this is my first week in acupuncture.	1.1765	0.05904	68	59	6	3
5179	I've improved dramatically. In med school my nickname was "Whoops"	1.1765	0.04657	68	56	12	0
5180	Of course you'll be blindfolded - er - I mean sedated.	1.1765	0.04484	85	71	13	1
5181	If it doesn't work, I'll just clone you again.	1.1765	0.04657	68	56	12	0
5182	This type of surgery is rather a hit-or-miss proposition.	1.1765	0.05520	68	58	8	2
5183	Don't be discouraged. I think we're getting closer.	1.1765	0.04786	85	72	11	2
5184	It’s better than going in front of a medical review board.	1.1765	0.05520	68	58	8	2
5185	Nope, no anesthesia, you'll pass out from the pain.	1.1765	0.06265	68	60	4	4
5186	No need to worry. The guy from the men's room door was very calm.	1.1765	0.04657	68	56	12	0
5187	I suppose we can rule out Delusions of Grandeur, Mr. Smith.	1.1765	0.04159	85	70	15	0
5188	Guess I should have pursued my true calling.	1.1765	0.04484	85	71	13	1
5189	Actually, your G.P. had recommended a laparoscopy, but your insurance wouldn't cover the procedure.	1.1758	0.04013	91	75	16	0
5190	I’m not cut out for this	1.1758	0.04581	91	77	12	2
5191	The latest study indicates overall health is better gauged by one's ability to repress knee-jerk reactions.	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
5192	Auraectomies	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
5193	It's just a routine test.	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
5194	You seem to have the luck on your side, so we'll go ahead with the procedure.	1.1757	0.05563	74	64	7	3
5195	Mit navn er Walter Hartwell White. Jeg bor på 308 Negra Arroyo Lane Albuquerque New Mexico 87104. Dette er min tilståelse. Mig og Jesse har homoseksuelt samleje hver dag.	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
5196	Surgical precision!	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
5197	I consider myself an advanced amateur. What should make you feel completely at ease, however, is that I’ve completed a five year residency in the E.R. in the unlikely event things don’t go exactly as planned.	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
5198	I covered the knife target in jizz. It's my kink.	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
5199	I’ve been trying to teach my patients how to deal with life and death experiences.	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
5200	I have good news, your MRI was negative"	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
5201	It's like the reverse of coloring. I stay outside the lines. The two together make a great warm up.	1.1757	0.05563	74	64	7	3
5202	Rest assured. I have a medical license.	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
5203	Let’s review your scan and I’ll discuss the next procedure.	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
5204	Thank you for volunteering...it is my annual manual dexterity and coordination test.	1.1757	0.04454	74	61	13	0
5205	As you can see, I have tremendous experience and a flawless track record.	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
5206	Before this point, yes.	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
5207	Let's see if you can put this one between his legs from across the room.	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
5208	I'll try to get negative margins.	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
5209	I'll be very careful- as if I were throwing the knife at myself.	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
5210	I call it the 'get slim or get sliced' diet regimen.	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
5211	The outcome looks optimistic	1.1757	0.04454	74	61	13	0
5212	I aim to get you under the knife immediately.	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
5213	The thing is, we don't judge you on your accuracy. We just want to know why.	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
5214	And so you see, I still haven't managed to throw a knife THROUGH anyone yet.	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
5215	We’ll have clean margins, no doubt!	1.1757	0.05563	74	64	7	3
5216	Break on through to the other side.	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
5217	Dr. Kevorkian, the anesthesiologist, will make sure you don’t feel a thing.	1.1754	0.05083	57	47	10	0
5218	As you can see, I'm skilled at removing worries that cling to people.	1.1754	0.05083	57	47	10	0
5219	Okay. We’ll designate the next one “#14.”	1.1754	0.07134	57	51	2	4
5220	Sure, it’s strange, but with all of the budget cuts, this is our best method for checking your heart rate.	1.1754	0.05083	57	47	10	0
5221	I'm afraid of blood.	1.1753	0.04399	97	82	13	2
5222	As you can see,the procedure is usually bloodless.	1.1753	0.04637	97	83	11	3
5223	You don’t have it and I’ve still got it!	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
5224	Oh well, if I wake up hurting it confirms I’m still alive.	1.1750	0.04275	80	66	14	0
5225	Don't worry, the kidneys are an easy shot.	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
5226	I don’t think you’re cut out for this.	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
5227	You see.. I never miss	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
5228	You're facing out, so no one can see inside your gown.	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
5229	Now, I will be blindfolded during the procedure.	1.1750	0.04275	80	66	14	0
5230	It's considered an experimental procedure	1.1750	0.05270	80	69	8	3
5231	Trust me, it’s cutting edge research.	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
5232	I'd like to take this opportunity to prove that I really do have the steadiest hands in the business	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
5233	I want you to say "ouch" when it hurts.	1.1750	0.05270	80	69	8	3
5234	If I miss - you need a haircut anyway.	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
5235	Maybe if you moved around a bit...	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
5236	For complete accuracy, you'll have to take off the gown. Socks are okay.	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
5237	It's called a reiki-ectomy.	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
5238	One size fits most.	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
5239	You feel free to get a second opinion, but that’s how we do it here at Surgery Carnies Inc.	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
5240	And now I shall proceed with my very first ‘knife throw’ circumcision. Stand over there.	1.1746	0.05787	63	54	7	2
5241	See, you're in good hands. That was my recertification exam.	1.1746	0.05787	63	54	7	2
5242	There's on more thing we can try	1.1746	0.05787	63	54	7	2
5243	No need to worry. You can see I don't make mistakes.	1.1746	0.05326	63	53	9	1
5244	It takes me out of my comfort zone.	1.1746	0.04821	63	52	11	0
5245	Nothing to worry about; it's just an exploratory procedure.	1.1746	0.05787	63	54	7	2
5246	Criss Angel loved this, and his insurance plan covered the whole operation.	1.1746	0.05326	63	53	9	1
5247	It's the newest cutting edge treatment." "It's called Ginzu Therapy.	1.1746	0.05326	63	53	9	1
5248	Don't worry. I'm calibrated now.	1.1744	0.04436	86	72	13	1
5249	Your health insurance policy is a bit odd.	1.1744	0.04734	86	73	11	2
5250	100% success rate on this new Parkinson’s treatment	1.1744	0.04116	86	71	15	0
5251	I'm sure I'll do it correctly this time.	1.1744	0.04116	86	71	15	0
5252	My diagnosis is: Pacifist!	1.1744	0.05015	86	74	9	3
5253	Our new form of acupuncture	1.1744	0.04436	86	72	13	1
5254	Glad to see you’ve been eating your apples	1.1744	0.04116	86	71	15	0
5255	This procedure will identify the source of your pain.	1.1744	0.04436	86	72	13	1
5256	No indeed! The other knives didn't successfully transfix. But what a good sport"	1.1739	0.04596	69	57	12	0
5257	That's how I warm up.	1.1739	0.04596	69	57	12	0
5258	My experience? I was Chief Medical Officer for Cirque du Soleil. Why do you ask?	1.1739	0.05445	69	59	8	2
5259	It's a less invasive technique of acupuncture I am perfecting.	1.1739	0.04596	69	57	12	0
5260	These days back stabbing is a real science!	1.1739	0.05039	69	58	10	1
5261	a vasectomy is my last operation to try	1.1739	0.05039	69	58	10	1
5262	Don't worry. If something happens I'll shave my moustache and pretend to be you for the rest of my life.	1.1739	0.06179	69	61	4	4
5263	Let's clarify what we mean by 'First, do no harm'!	1.1739	0.04535	92	78	12	2
5264	Incisions Incisions	1.1739	0.04596	69	57	12	0
5265	Your soul has been successfully removed. Anything else I can do for you?	1.1739	0.05445	69	59	8	2
5266	Dude what the heck is literally this knife thing haha	1.1739	0.05445	69	59	8	2
5267	The CDC requires I to change that part for each patient...	1.1739	0.04596	69	57	12	0
5268	Want to try your luck at this, or with surgery?	1.1739	0.05445	69	59	8	2
5269	OK, now I need you to touch your toes.	1.1739	0.05824	69	60	6	3
5270	Just look at it this way, if I fail, you will be exempt from going through the next Covid epidemic.	1.1739	0.05445	69	59	8	2
5271	you want me to bend over this time?	1.1739	0.05445	69	59	8	2
5272	You passed our test for "having the shakes"	1.1739	0.05039	69	58	10	1
5273	An apple on the head a day keeps the doctor away.	1.1739	0.05039	69	58	10	1
5274	Post-surgery complications might include a desire to run away to the circus.	1.1739	0.05039	69	58	10	1
5275	Trust me, this is way more on target than an EKG.	1.1739	0.04596	69	57	12	0
5276	The prognosis from this result is you may suffer from nerves of steel.	1.1739	0.05445	69	59	8	2
5277	So, in your psychiatric opinion, does this mean I am a narcissist?	1.1739	0.05445	69	59	8	2
5278	Now if I were right brained…	1.1739	0.05445	69	59	8	2
5279	Just what Dr. Google ordered	1.1739	0.04791	92	79	10	3
5280	Now, I promise this won’t hurt.	1.1739	0.05039	69	58	10	1
5281	And this is how we practice for the real thing	1.1739	0.05445	69	59	8	2
5282	Clearly you are not the first to back out when we get to the crouch shot.	1.1735	0.05235	98	87	5	6
5283	Your gall bladder has no chance against me.	1.1735	0.04358	98	83	13	2
5284	And see, not even a trace of blood.	1.1733	0.05155	75	64	9	2
5285	So I've been practicing my surgical technique. Getting better right?	1.1733	0.04792	75	63	11	1
5286	You'll be fine. I've done eleven of these already today.	1.1733	0.05155	75	64	9	2
5287	As you can see, our surgical training program uses only the most advanced technology. No hatchets or axes.	1.1733	0.05493	75	65	7	3
5288	It's the only way to determine how sharp I am.	1.1733	0.05155	75	64	9	2
5289	Please proceed to your pre-surgical psychological evaluation.	1.1733	0.04792	75	63	11	1
5290	My last assistant was very patient.	1.1733	0.04400	75	62	13	0
5291	Okay, Ed. We've got the problem pinned down.	1.1733	0.05155	75	64	9	2
5292	I studied medicine at Missedagain State…in Lancing.	1.1733	0.05155	75	64	9	2
5293	It’s part of my weight maintenance program.	1.1733	0.04400	75	62	13	0
5294	This is the last knife you insurance company will pay for so let's hope I hit something	1.1733	0.05493	75	65	7	3
5295	Our clinic prescribes by algorithm.	1.1733	0.05493	75	65	7	3
5296	Not to worry. I've perfected my knife skills.	1.1733	0.04400	75	62	13	0
5297	I started out in Podiatry.	1.1733	0.05493	75	65	7	3
5298	Are you sure this is covered by your health insurance plan?	1.1733	0.05155	75	64	9	2
5299	...and that's what doctors call the epidermis. Now let's talk about the cardiovascular system.	1.1733	0.04400	75	62	13	0
5300	So we've eliminated these areas as the cause of your problem.	1.1733	0.04400	75	62	13	0
5301	I did my residency at the carnival	1.1733	0.04792	75	63	11	1
5302	Thanks to modern science and technology, incisions have become smaller and smaller over the years. Don't worry! As you can see, you're in great hands.	1.1733	0.05155	75	64	9	2
5303	This is what they mean about minimally invasive surgery.	1.1733	0.04400	75	62	13	0
5304	Now that we’ve established some trust, let’s talk about the thing I want to do with the little knife.	1.1733	0.05155	75	64	9	2
5305	Next time, try the clinics in Zürich	1.1733	0.04792	75	63	11	1
5306	I need a volunteer for the last knife.	1.1733	0.04400	75	62	13	0
5307	No, insurance does not cover my diagnostic tests...	1.1728	0.04578	81	68	12	1
5308	as we expected your stabbing pain is a out of body experience	1.1728	0.04578	81	68	12	1
5309	Heart surgeon may not be your true calling.	1.1728	0.04578	81	68	12	1
5310	It's typically a straightforward procedure.	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
5311	It ensures confidence in my precision with a scalpel.	1.1728	0.05209	81	70	8	3
5312	Each knife senses cancer cells. If you would have had any, a knife would have detected the disease and it would have killed you! Lucky guy!	1.1728	0.04578	81	68	12	1
5313	self-indulgence	1.1728	0.04227	81	67	14	0
5314	The Hippocratic Oath is a powerful force.	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
5315	As you can see, I’ve done this procedure dozens of times.	1.1724	0.05575	58	49	8	1
5316	Results of clinical trials indicate you probably won't feel a thing.	1.1724	0.04073	87	72	15	0
5317	I tried every which way to get your gallbladder. Shall we give it one more try?	1.1724	0.04684	87	74	11	2
5318	How lucky are you feeling?	1.1724	0.04389	87	73	13	1
5319	It's a new way to potentially meet your deductible.	1.1724	0.05575	58	49	8	1
5320	I dont see how this is supposed to help with my constipation.	1.1724	0.05575	58	49	8	1
5321	Doc: I’m preparing for a career change.	1.1720	0.04490	93	79	12	2
5322	Double or nothing?	1.1719	0.05249	64	54	9	1
5323	But you're a surgeon, you're not supposed to miss.	1.1719	0.04753	64	53	11	0
5324	This is our favorite way of diagnosing for bad luck.	1.1719	0.06122	64	56	5	3
5325	Don't worry about a miss. I'm a surgeon.	1.1719	0.05702	64	55	7	2
5326	Does this put your mind at ease?	1.1719	0.04753	64	53	11	0
5327	OK, let's see how much you've list this week	1.1719	0.05249	64	54	9	1
5328	We'll find out your blood pressure one way or another.	1.1719	0.04753	64	53	11	0
5329	Your health outline looks good, with only minor anxiety disorder. Let's finish up with your prostate exam.	1.1719	0.05702	64	55	7	2
5330	It didn’t work, Doc. I still have the hiccups.” Aimee Wing, Los Alamitos, Ca	1.1719	0.05249	64	54	9	1
5331	You are one of the lucky ones to be in a double blind study for an experimental surgery.	1.1719	0.04753	64	53	11	0
5332	I could also hang my diplomas, but lately there's a bunch of fake ones in D.C.	1.1719	0.04753	64	53	11	0
5333	Survivorship bias? No idea - I failed Stats 101.	1.1719	0.04753	64	53	11	0
5334	If you want a second opinion, I have a colleague who specializes in ace throwing.	1.1719	0.05702	64	55	7	2
5335	Relax. I’m also a mohel.	1.1714	0.05373	70	60	8	2
5336	I thought you were a proctologist?	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
5337	Time for lucky 13.	1.1714	0.05373	70	60	8	2
5338	Happy to report: The surgery went very well!	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
5339	Now it’s my turn.	1.1714	0.05373	70	60	8	2
5340	The circus wouldn’t have me so here I am.	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
5341	I’m not sure that really shows me you’re a skilled surgeon.	1.1714	0.05745	70	61	6	3
5342	Don't worry I practiced on the darts board in my basement	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
5343	As you can see, I haven't lost a patient..yet.	1.1714	0.04537	70	58	12	0
5344	Survival is fully covered by your insurance.	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
5345	Are you game?	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
5346	Yes, that’s right. All of them were heart surgeons and they were all aiming for the heart. I’m sure I can do better, no worries.	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
5347	Self-loathing in the metaverse	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
5348	I’m better with a scalpel	1.1714	0.05373	70	60	8	2
5349	The RN will now come in and guess your weight.	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
5350	The procedure is immediate and fool proof!	1.1714	0.04537	70	58	12	0
5351	No worries, Mr. Parker. As you can see, I know how to handle a knife.	1.1714	0.05373	70	60	8	2
5352	... and this is what I call "going by exclusion".	1.1714	0.04537	70	58	12	0
5353	I have one knife left. You’ve made it to step 2. Let’s go to the OR!	1.1714	0.04537	70	58	12	0
5354	Surgery's really all about the cuts you don't make	1.1714	0.04537	70	58	12	0
5355	Last fella is recovering slowly, but the good news is that my aim seems to be improving.	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
5356	You asked me about my precision...	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
5357	the success rate is 50/50	1.1714	0.05373	70	60	8	2
5358	It’s a bit old-fashioned but we try to avoid invasive diagnostic procedures	1.1711	0.04734	76	64	11	1
5359	I ran away to join a surgical practice.	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
5360	This was when I was on Ed Sullivan.	1.1711	0.04348	76	63	13	0
5361	It's just a quick way to see if we've got the Xanax dosage right.	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
5362	We ran out of chalk.	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
5363	”Keep in mind that precision is next to godliness	1.1711	0.04348	76	63	13	0
5364	3 guesses as to which spot this one is for.	1.1711	0.04734	76	64	11	1
5365	Yes I have been practicing this new fangled surgery technique I saw on Facebook.	1.1711	0.04348	76	63	13	0
5366	This is a terrible way to pinpoint a diagnosis.	1.1711	0.04734	76	64	11	1
5367	Doctor Domitian Diagnostics	1.1711	0.05425	76	66	7	3
5368	This should help with your sword anxiety. .	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
5369	Most insurance will not cover this test	1.1711	0.04734	76	64	11	1
5370	Don't worry...I'm really good at this.	1.1711	0.04734	76	64	11	1
5371	We’re trying a new hands-off approach to surgery now	1.1711	0.04734	76	64	11	1
5372	So you see remote surgery can be quite accurate.	1.1711	0.04348	76	63	13	0
5373	Colonoscopy protocols keep changing.	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
5374	Don't worry, I don't use the blindfold in the operating room	1.1711	0.04734	76	64	11	1
5375	I find it's faster than asking you where it hurts.	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
5376	I've had it with healthcare. I'm thinking of joining the circus.	1.1711	0.05425	76	66	7	3
5377	Lucky for you your policy was in force for this procedure.	1.1711	0.05425	76	66	7	3
5378	First we do pre-op. imaging.	1.1711	0.04734	76	64	11	1
5379	I’m afraid the surgery was unsuccessful, Mr. Douglas.	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
5380	Simple test for Generalized Anxiety Dosorder.	1.1711	0.04348	76	63	13	0
5381	This’ll be the easiest vasectomy I’ve ever done, or my name isn’t Dr. Michael Meyers	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
5382	That’s just for show, I don’t really throw knives. I just stab people to death and report it as a playful accident.	1.1707	0.04848	82	70	10	2
5383	I call him Teflon Don	1.1707	0.04527	82	69	12	1
5384	Acupuncture is child’s play.	1.1707	0.04848	82	70	10	2
5385	Where will you be making the incision doc?	1.1707	0.04848	82	70	10	2
5386	The one that got the last guy in the heart was just an accident.	1.1707	0.04527	82	69	12	1
5387	Trust me. I've done this many times before.	1.1707	0.04527	82	69	12	1
5388	Post surgery no one will mention your aura again.	1.1707	0.04527	82	69	12	1
5389	If I miss, you receive a 50% discount on the surgery.	1.1707	0.04848	82	70	10	2
5390	Your insurance will fully cover one more shot at this.	1.1707	0.04181	82	68	14	0
5391	This is how I see your chances for a successful procedure.	1.1707	0.04181	82	68	14	0
5392	Here's the good news you don't need surgery	1.1707	0.04848	82	70	10	2
5393	No confidence, no surgery!	1.1707	0.04527	82	69	12	1
5394	Not bad. Now you'll see how close a professional can get.	1.1707	0.04527	82	69	12	1
5395	You think performing surgery is easy? Let's see YOU try it, then.	1.1707	0.04527	82	69	12	1
5396	Ready for our latest anxiety treatment?	1.1707	0.04527	82	69	12	1
5397	I just couldn't find your vein for the angiogram so we'll have to try again.	1.1705	0.04343	88	74	13	1
5398	It's the last word in outpatient ED treatment.	1.1705	0.04343	88	74	13	1
5399	As you can see it's non-invasive and totally eliminates the need for a pacemaker.	1.1705	0.04031	88	73	15	0
5400	The artist was inspired by the children's game of " Operation".	1.1705	0.04343	88	74	13	1
5401	We’ve done the preliminaries; now for the real thing.	1.1705	0.04343	88	74	13	1
5402	I'm the child of a circus family. My surgical techniques are somewhat unique.	1.1705	0.04031	88	73	15	0
5403	Obviously, now we need a specialist.	1.1705	0.04343	88	74	13	1
5404	As you can see, I’ve been training for the big day.	1.1705	0.04031	88	73	15	0
5405	So you see,with your luck,the operation is bound to be a success. We can’t say that for EVERYONE who comes in.	1.1705	0.04031	88	73	15	0
5406	Our training is focused on developing knife like precision.	1.1705	0.04634	88	75	11	2
5407	We get our post-op patients up and running as soon as possible.	1.1695	0.05488	59	50	8	1
5408	If you stand over there, I’ll show you where the incision will be .	1.1695	0.05997	59	51	6	2
5409	Say what you will, but Brother, clearly I've missed you.	1.1692	0.05174	65	55	9	1
5410	Our success rate with this procedure is a solid twelve out of twelve.	1.1692	0.05174	65	55	9	1
5411	It's the very latest and best surgical method for obtaining your medical profile - cutting-edge as they say.	1.1692	0.06032	65	57	5	3
5412	It's FDA approved and William Sonoma gives lifetime guarantee.	1.1692	0.04687	65	54	11	0
5413	We couldn’t locate your vain	1.1692	0.05174	65	55	9	1
5414	I prefer eastern acupuncture as a patient but western acupuncture appears to be more gratifying for overworked medical staff.	1.1692	0.06032	65	57	5	3
5415	Yeah. This surgical procedure is kind of hit and miss.	1.1692	0.04687	65	54	11	0
5416	as they say, 13th try is a charm.	1.1692	0.04687	65	54	11	0
5417	Would you rather go under the knife, over it or to the side?	1.1692	0.05174	65	55	9	1
5418	First, we have to check everywhere the appendix isn't.	1.1692	0.05174	65	55	9	1
5419	After this it’s just the internal exam - the sword is already lit so you should be done in about 20 minutes	1.1692	0.06032	65	57	5	3
5420	#harrys game	1.1692	0.04687	65	54	11	0
5421	I wanted to be in the circus, but my father didn’t	1.1692	0.04687	65	54	11	0
5422	This is why you put the butter in the freezer overnight.	1.1690	0.05302	71	61	8	2
5423	This isn't exactly what I had in mind when you said 'going under the knife'.	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
5424	I give my patients the option of either going under the knife or being in front of it.	1.1690	0.04479	71	59	12	0
5425	We have 92% success with this treatment.	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
5426	We’re testing the concept of survivor bias…	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
5427	I hope that standing there didn’t frighten you. But it’s a measure of my skill.	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
5428	No worries; Lizard People do this all the time.	1.1690	0.05302	71	61	8	2
5429	I just do this to limber up before surgery.	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
5430	This little beauty will have you hitting those tenor notes like your old self. Your 12-year-old self.	1.1690	0.04479	71	59	12	0
5431	Oh good, you're trimming down. Now that'll be $46,000.	1.1690	0.04479	71	59	12	0
5432	All previous tests negative. Last examination test pending.	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
5433	My accuracy is improving. I haven’t nailed my last two patients.”	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
5434	Pioneered by the P.T. Barnum School of Medicine, it surprisingly has no medical value whatsoever.	1.1690	0.05669	71	62	6	3
5435	Do you want my first class shave?	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
5436	Don’t worry, I’ve had lots of practice.	1.1690	0.05302	71	61	8	2
5437	Your guess is as good as mine.	1.1690	0.04479	71	59	12	0
5438	I've been doing some remodeling around the office.	1.1690	0.05302	71	61	8	2
5439	We do this when we don't know what to cut out.	1.1690	0.04479	71	59	12	0
5440	Actually this will be my first try with a real live patient.	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
5441	Finding your diagnosis is a stab in the dark but we getting closer!	1.1690	0.05302	71	61	8	2
5442	We need your consent to video tape this for training purposes only.	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
5443	Your’s is the luckiest uninsured scan I’ve seen all day.	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
5444	Not to worry. Your life insurance covers this.	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
5445	Shall we proceed to the sewing demonstration?	1.1690	0.04479	71	59	12	0
5446	Or you can make that co-pay today. Just let me know.	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
5447	What are we studying? Oh yes, we’re assessing the survivorship bias patterns of differently poisoned knifes. Step forward, please”	1.1690	0.05669	71	62	6	3
5448	You'll get the twin discount on this procedure	1.1690	0.05302	71	61	8	2
5449	One good thing about standard shock therapy is that it’s always noninvasive.	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
5450	What’s the big deal? You will be putting your life in my hands on the operating table in half an hour	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
5451	This is just to show you there's no need to sweat the actual operation!	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
5452	Consider this more of acupuncture therapy	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
5453	This would be a lot easier if you just let me stab you in the back.	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
5454	My outcomes are about the same as the robot surgeon.	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
5455	it’s a new test for. Your balance. Whenever you’re ready.	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
5456	I wouldn't fret. In fact eight of my closest colleagues reccomend this procedure.	1.1688	0.04297	77	64	13	0
5457	You put your left foot in ♫♪ You put your left foot out ♫♪ You do the Hanky Panky ♫♪ WTF is this about? ♫♪	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
5458	Now do you trust me to remove your appendix?	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
5459	My passion for impalement arts has been reignited! I can finally disappoint my parents.	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
5460	That was the last guy. The one before him sneezed. It was messier.	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
5461	Is that blood?	1.1688	0.04297	77	64	13	0
5462	If you miss him this time, you'll need more lessons.	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
5463	Let 's check now how is your pulse	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
5464	Your five minutes are up.	1.1688	0.05359	77	67	7	3
5465	As you can see, I've done this before.	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
5466	I used to be a mohel. Too much drama.	1.1688	0.04297	77	64	13	0
5467	I take a more radical approach to acupuncture.	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
5468	Operation's board game has never been more thrilling!	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
5469	Well, yes, medically speaking, the mole is still attached to your body.	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
5470	Medical science is not always right but if you stand there again we’ll give it another go.	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
5471	This time I'll drive to the heart of the matter.	1.1687	0.04793	83	71	10	2
5472	If I miss you lose, if I hit I win.	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
5473	Don't worry: insurance companies only take a cut for the ones we actually make.	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
5474	Your doctor will be Ed Ames	1.1687	0.05091	83	72	8	3
5475	Looks like a frog but that's my signature I was a surgeon before but enjoy knife throwing now	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
5476	I majored in knife work	1.1687	0.04135	83	69	14	0
5477	I've practiced enough! Now get in there....	1.1687	0.04793	83	71	10	2
5478	Well that’s true; most missed the mark, but some of those that almost hit the mark were often very effective.	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
5479	Of course, you'll be laying down for the procedure.	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
5480	Is my aura covered by my insurance?	1.1687	0.04793	83	71	10	2
5481	My preferred incision method for surgery is somewhat unorthodox.	1.1685	0.04299	89	75	13	1
5482	we'v still not decided on which operation, have we?	1.1685	0.04299	89	75	13	1
5483	So, yeah, I failed acupuncture school. But I didn't let that end my dream of becoming a doctor.	1.1685	0.04299	89	75	13	1
5484	Now that we have a plan, we can proceed.	1.1685	0.03991	89	74	15	0
5485	I’ve been experimenting with more holistic treatments.	1.1685	0.04586	89	76	11	2
5486	The procedure is non-invasive, I hope.	1.1684	0.04884	95	83	8	4
5487	Almost all of our patients have positive feedback, after the procedure	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
5488	The good news is that Medcare covers this test. The bad news is that you don't yet qualify for Medicare, so you'll have to pay out of pocket.	1.1667	0.04806	90	78	9	3
5489	This treatment will either cure or confirm your lack of trust.	1.1667	0.04623	66	55	11	0
5490	As you can tell, I’m not Ed Ames.	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
5491	That's why you have to stand up for your surgery.	1.1667	0.05102	66	56	9	1
5492	As you can see, I never miss !	1.1667	0.04247	78	65	13	0
5493	You missed.	1.1667	0.04623	66	55	11	0
5494	My sensors indicate everything is OK,now for the Prostate sensor.	1.1667	0.04255	90	76	13	1
5495	Sorry, I told my assistant they couldn't work on their side gig while on the job.	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
5496	Okay, one more try - get back in there.	1.1667	0.05540	66	57	7	2
5497	I practiced with all those other knives before trying for that last spot.	1.1667	0.05540	66	57	7	2
5498	Well, you realize that there's a first time for everything	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
5499	Statistically, this next phase will be a doddle.	1.1667	0.05102	66	56	9	1
5500	See, I know what I'm doing. Now let's try it on the recliner.	1.1667	0.05540	66	57	7	2
5501	Congrats! You are quite adroit in the parallel knife-throwing test. You're good to go.	1.1667	0.05540	66	57	7	2
5502	This is a big improvement on the last volunteer.	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
5503	My brothers a urologist... he's a juggler	1.1667	0.05903	60	52	6	2
5504	Your surgery was a complete success!	1.1667	0.04427	84	71	12	1
5505	Well... It's not going to kill you.	1.1667	0.04740	84	72	10	2
5506	Minimal risk? Ah, sure.	1.1667	0.04091	84	70	14	0
5507	Is Ed Ames around, somewhere"	1.1667	0.04247	78	65	13	0
5508	They'll always be the one that got away.	1.1667	0.05102	66	56	9	1
5509	I'm realising I'm in a sharp situation right now	1.1667	0.04100	96	81	14	1
5510	Statistically, the next one should go in the right place.	1.1667	0.04247	78	65	13	0
5511	I've had patients who had it a lot worse.	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
5512	I think we've really narrowed it down.	1.1667	0.05540	66	57	7	2
5513	Sadly, biospy revealed your "bad vibes" are fatal.	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
5514	The thirteenth knife is always the unlucky one.	1.1667	0.05102	66	56	9	1
5515	Just relax Edward. This is our most efficient test to evaluate adrenal gland function. You'll be out of here in a jiffy.	1.1667	0.05102	66	56	9	1
5516	That’s not what you think. IT’s performance art.	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
5517	My technique isn’t exact, but trust me, it works.	1.1667	0.04427	84	71	12	1
5518	So the nurse said you’ve been feeling undesirable?	1.1667	0.05403	60	51	8	1
5519	This test will determine if your hyperhidrosis is stress related.	1.1667	0.04845	72	61	10	1
5520	Hey! Let's go Nick, Nack, and Paddy! You, too, Whack!	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
5521	I don’t know, every time I move the night the whole thing buzzes?	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
5522	So I was in the circus, do you trust me now?	1.1667	0.04623	66	55	11	0
5523	I’d suggest a lift in your partner’s right shoe should correct that.	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
5524	Your fit. Let’s practice for my surgeons’ New Year's Eve party.	1.1667	0.05294	78	68	7	3
5525	It’s easy, they always miss.	1.1667	0.04845	72	61	10	1
5526	Well Doc,now that you’re all warmed up…	1.1667	0.04255	90	76	13	1
5527	I started my practice as a circus mohel.	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
5528	It's important to mark the first incision.	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
5529	Thankfully you could say I m	1.1667	0.05034	84	73	8	3
5530	You might not be as lucky in 2023.	1.1667	0.05102	66	56	9	1
5531	Well Mr Jones, I think I've outlined the problem for you. Do you still want to go under the knife?	1.1667	0.04427	84	71	12	1
5532	Stand there and I'll show you where your prostate is.	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
5533	We eliminate all jagged edges.	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
5534	Thank you for helping me with my eye exam.	1.1667	0.05540	66	57	7	2
5535	It’s what I like to call vasectomy-eye.	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
5536	You can always upgrade to Ed Ames special if need be	1.1667	0.04845	72	61	10	1
5537	Nice thing about this job, you get to bury your mistakes.	1.1667	0.04845	72	61	10	1
5538	Now you try.	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
5539	You passed the nerve response test with flying colors!	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
5540	It only looks scary.	1.1667	0.04423	72	60	12	0
5541	This last one should get us to the heart of the matter.	1.1667	0.04623	66	55	11	0
5542	I find this far more revealing than an x-ray.	1.1667	0.04091	84	70	14	0
5543	I'm using the latest tools in non-invasive surgery.	1.1667	0.04845	72	61	10	1
5544	I interned at Ringling Brothers.	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
5545	Twelve out of thirteen doctors recommend this treatment as safe.	1.1667	0.04423	72	60	12	0
5546	No worries, the 111th times the charm.	1.1667	0.04845	72	61	10	1
5547	Yup, you're a super dodger for sure.	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
5548	Mr. Pig Pen, with only 5 more treatments we can cut the stink in half.	1.1667	0.04623	66	55	11	0
5549	I'm prepared to do surgery at any of those locations. Otherwise, you'll have to find another doc.	1.1667	0.04845	72	61	10	1
5550	That was the intern…	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
5551	Finally my soul is up and running!	1.1667	0.04247	78	65	13	0
5552	We can manually screen you in lieu of our Dagger O+ Type.	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
5553	Over here, you will see why we are experts at incisionless surgery.	1.1667	0.04623	66	55	11	0
5554	Let me outline what I can do for you.	1.1667	0.05903	60	52	6	2
5555	Either way you won't think about the appendicitis.	1.1667	0.04247	78	65	13	0
5556	For the next exam we will paint-by-numbers.	1.1667	0.04623	66	55	11	0
5557	-Proclivities towards non violence I see hmm?!	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
5558	At least it's better homoeopathy.	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
5559	See, I never miss.	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
5560	Survivor bias is just fake news. Let's test your reflexes.	1.1667	0.04623	66	55	11	0
5561	Ya, it’s a new app they showed us in med school. Thought I’d give it a try.	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
5562	You've seen knives out the movie, get ready for knives out the procedure.	1.1667	0.04423	72	60	12	0
5563	O.K., now we're going to check your nerves.	1.1667	0.05102	66	56	9	1
5564	Considering you agreed to the procedure, I'm guessing you've never heard of survivor bias before.	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
5565	That last patient was one for the record books	1.1667	0.04427	84	71	12	1
5566	I'm afraid this is all your insurance covers. Step right up!	1.1667	0.04360	96	82	12	2
5567	I do better on a flat surface	1.1649	0.04061	97	82	14	1
5568	Out Trust Begins Here	1.1649	0.04061	97	82	14	1
5569	You ready to try lucky #13? If I miss, there's no bill.	1.1649	0.04560	97	84	10	3
5570	We employ cutting edge technology with our approach.	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
5571	Trust me. My team and I have done this operation hundreds of times.	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
5572	You wanted to see a nerve doctor.	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
5573	OK, OK, get a second opinion. But first watch what I can do with a scalpel.	1.1647	0.04047	85	71	14	0
5574	Surgery first, diagnosis later.	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
5575	Creative surgery IS a thing.	1.1646	0.04198	79	66	13	0
5576	Of course it's an outpatient procedure.	1.1646	0.04198	79	66	13	0
5577	The prognosis indicates your vital organs should remain intact until next year's physical.	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
5578	If you survive tonight's show, tomorrow's surgery will be free.	1.1646	0.04198	79	66	13	0
5579	You've ever heard of a lobotomy?	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
5580	ok! good consult! I feel confident about your surgery!	1.1646	0.04198	79	66	13	0
5581	For the last one, stand there to confirm our computer model is anatomically accurate	1.1646	0.04198	79	66	13	0
5582	Next time you should probably bring someone else.	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
5583	sadly that doesn’t cut it	1.1646	0.04911	79	68	9	2
5584	Skillful, yes, but your health insurance will have the final say.	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
5585	It’s usually one size fits all.	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
5586	Somehow, with your condition I’m hesitant to cut…	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
5587	Your resistance to the daggervirus is simply extraordinary.	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
5588	See? It's safe.	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
5589	as you can see this is not a very invasive procedure	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
5590	I think you've made your point Lefty	1.1644	0.05522	73	64	6	3
5591	Do you feel lucky? I can take a stab at it	1.1644	0.05166	73	63	8	2
5592	Well,I was wrong, it’s not your nerves that’s making you feel sick.	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
5593	As you can see, this procedure is less invasive.	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
5594	It's a variant of scream therapy	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
5595	Do you mind if I check your vitals?	1.1644	0.05166	73	63	8	2
5596	Missed.	1.1644	0.04368	73	61	12	0
5597	Your operation will be an experimental pancreatic surgery based on an algorithm.	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
5598	The last step in your triskaidekaphobia program.	1.1644	0.05166	73	63	8	2
5599	Well mr scalpetti, i think you’re ready to return to work at the circus.	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
5600	Good news! You passed the test! See you 6 months from now.	1.1644	0.05166	73	63	8	2
5601	According to Medicare, I have the lowest recidivism rate in the region. Makes me number 1.	1.1644	0.04368	73	61	12	0
5602	To be a successful surgen, your scalpel work needs to drastically improve.	1.1642	0.05462	67	58	7	2
5603	You see, it's not that bad. So just stand there and I will throw the final knife.	1.1642	0.05031	67	57	9	1
5604	One would have worked.	1.1642	0.05031	67	57	9	1
5605	Show me where the pain is.	1.1642	0.04560	67	56	11	0
5606	That's right, my residency was with the Ringling Brothers.	1.1642	0.04560	67	56	11	0
5607	I'm out of chalk, but do you want to be a body double?	1.1642	0.05031	67	57	9	1
5608	Are you prepared for the thirteenth knife?, I am feeling rather lucky today”	1.1642	0.05462	67	58	7	2
5609	I switched my specialty from surgery to circus!	1.1642	0.05031	67	57	9	1
5610	Now just stand in front of the outline, say a prayer and we’ll see how it goes.	1.1642	0.05462	67	58	7	2
5611	See. I told you you'd adjust and be fine as a left-hander. You're welcome.	1.1642	0.05031	67	57	9	1
5612	Your HMO only provides minimum coverage for heart disease diagnosis.	1.1642	0.05462	67	58	7	2
5613	I like to get warmed up before I operate.	1.1642	0.05031	67	57	9	1
5614	Don't worry, it's obviously an outpatient procedure.	1.1642	0.04560	67	56	11	0
5615	Yes, I suppose you could call them pressure points.	1.1642	0.05031	67	57	9	1
5616	I won't cure you, but on the brighter side, I won't hurt you either...	1.1642	0.04560	67	56	11	0
5617	I agree it’s an unconventional way of explaining biostatistics, but it certainly gets the point across.	1.1642	0.05031	67	57	9	1
5618	Okay, it’s your turn.	1.1639	0.05321	61	52	8	1
5619	In our experience, it helps to visualize a positive outcome.	1.1639	0.05811	61	53	6	2
5620	In summary, John, you’re 5’11” and your autonomic nervous system is shot to Hell.	1.1639	0.05321	61	52	8	1
5621	With your condition,I'd say you have been cutting it close until now!	1.1639	0.05811	61	53	6	2
5622	That was the last guy.	1.1639	0.05811	61	53	6	2
5623	I told you that you could learn to use your left hand!	1.1639	0.05321	61	52	8	1
5624	Keep telling yourself that failing is winning.	1.1639	0.05321	61	52	8	1
5625	Just need you to confirm name, birthday and limb.	1.1636	0.05034	55	46	9	0
5626	Ready for your microblading procedure?	1.1633	0.04743	98	86	8	4
5627	I haven't missed yet, but I suppose there is always a first time.	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
5628	Don’t worry , the payouts from my medical insurance have been astronomic	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
5629	And I have a success rate of 80%.	1.1630	0.04708	92	80	9	3
5630	Mom always liked me best.	1.1628	0.04637	86	74	10	2
5631	This is the way I see it. You put your complete trust in me...and I try not to hurt you with some very sharp knives.	1.1628	0.04924	86	75	8	3
5632	"I recommend my latest acupuncture technique for your condition."	1.1628	0.04004	86	72	14	0
5633	Ginsu Surgery Center physicians must be precise and brave.	1.1625	0.04516	80	68	11	1
5634	Ok, let’s check your body mass index.	1.1625	0.04151	80	67	13	0
5635	Is it suicide if I miss?	1.1625	0.04853	80	69	9	2
5636	See? What happened to the last guy was a total fluke.	1.1625	0.04151	80	67	13	0
5637	Umm…Fibonacci Series doesn’t have a dozen anything, sorry.	1.1625	0.04151	80	67	13	0
5638	Always tried, never succeeded.	1.1625	0.04516	80	68	11	1
5639	The dentist will be right with you.	1.1625	0.04853	80	69	9	2
5640	Thank you for volunteering to interview our new surgeon.	1.1625	0.04151	80	67	13	0
5641	Stand perfectly still or we could have an Ed Ames moment.	1.1625	0.04151	80	67	13	0
5642	I see from your profile that you're a prime candidate for surgery.	1.1625	0.05169	80	70	7	3
5643	When you stop flinching, we know the anesthesia is working.	1.1625	0.04853	80	69	9	2
5644	See, I'm a good shot, so don't worry.	1.1625	0.04151	80	67	13	0
5645	As you can see, it's our least invasive incision method.	1.1625	0.04151	80	67	13	0
5646	I think one more should locate the source of your pain	1.1625	0.04516	80	68	11	1
5647	As you were scheduled during the interns' holiday party, your surgery didn't quite go as planned.	1.1625	0.04516	80	68	11	1
5648	You’ve got a serious case of divine intervention” captio	1.1625	0.04151	80	67	13	0
5649	Step over there and I'll Outline your Procedure.	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
5650	Their surgery was different--non-invasive.	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
5651	These acupuncture points won't quite relieve your pain, but we're working on it.	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
5652	Yes, knife skill is the sine qua non of a fine surgeon.	1.1622	0.04724	74	63	10	1
5653	Relax, it’s a routine procedure.	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
5654	The odds of a recurrence are very low.	1.1622	0.04314	74	62	12	0
5655	I thought you said this was a cutting edge procedure?	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
5656	My favorite part of this game is that you can't see the ones I missed.	1.1622	0.04724	74	63	10	1
5657	Cutting it a little close, are we?	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
5658	The procedure requires total trust in my abilities. The last patient made it.	1.1622	0.04724	74	63	10	1
5659	You might be the latest term abortion I've seen today...	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
5660	"Do you mind if I practice my dexterity skills a little before we begin your surgery?	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
5661	I’m even better up close.	1.1622	0.04724	74	63	10	1
5662	Knife therapy is a wonderful way to ease January blues.	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
5663	Absence of Malice	1.1622	0.04314	74	62	12	0
5664	I told you. Opened in the front” Barrett Katz M	1.1622	0.04724	74	63	10	1
5665	So... You stand there; my first incision starts from across the room.	1.1622	0.04314	74	62	12	0
5666	Nothing to worry about. I'm board certified.	1.1622	0.04314	74	62	12	0
5667	Exposure therapy can help minimize your fear of riding the subway.	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
5668	‘I promise this time i’ll get it!’	1.1622	0.04314	74	62	12	0
5669	I'd move a little to the right.	1.1618	0.04963	68	58	9	1
5670	Statistically, it’s a pretty safe procedure”	1.1618	0.04499	68	57	11	0
5671	You're going to be Lucky 13!	1.1618	0.04963	68	58	9	1
5672	If I miss, the surgery is buy one get one free.	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
5673	Safely is all in your imagination	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
5674	Don't worry, it's just another standard reflex test.	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
5675	Our diagnostics confirm your wife's suggestion: you do indeed appear to be made of teflon. Nothing will stick to you - or in you. And she may not stick with you.	1.1618	0.04499	68	57	11	0
5676	I had to make sure you won't squirm during procedures.	1.1618	0.04499	68	57	11	0
5677	Your sore throat doesn't seem so scary now, huh?	1.1618	0.04499	68	57	11	0
5678	We can do it one of two ways: You can agree to a vaccination or you can stand here while we cut away at the Covid.	1.1618	0.04499	68	57	11	0
5679	You won't have to worry about any unplanned pregnancy after our vasectomy procedure...	1.1618	0.04499	68	57	11	0
5680	Let’s find out where the pain is coming from	1.1618	0.04963	68	58	9	1
5681	Another healthy annual physical!	1.1618	0.04963	68	58	9	1
5682	The last guy didn’t make the cut	1.1618	0.04963	68	58	9	1
5683	I went to medical school in Ginsu, Japan.	1.1618	0.04499	68	57	11	0
5684	you ever heard that song “backstabber”?	1.1618	0.05780	68	60	5	3
5685	Are you sure you recruited the Invisible Man?	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
5686	We reserve the scalpel for inside the lines.	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
5687	yeah, being a doctor pays better but pretty cool, right?	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
5688	See, you have nothing to worry about. I have good knife control.	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
5689	Well Mr. Santos, you wrote in your CV your profile would fit the job…”	1.1618	0.04963	68	58	9	1
5690	So I heard the nurse was having a little trouble drawing blood.	1.1618	0.04963	68	58	9	1
5691	As you can see, there’s no evidence of this failing before.	1.1618	0.04499	68	57	11	0
5692	Just think outside the box.	1.1613	0.04709	62	52	10	0
5693	Your vital signs appear to be normal, however there is one more test I'd like to perform.	1.1613	0.05723	62	54	6	2
5694	Welcome to my family practice.	1.1613	0.05723	62	54	6	2
5695	We've pretty much filled up the periphery.	1.1613	0.05723	62	54	6	2
5696	Wow, this guy has the worst aura I've ever seen	1.1613	0.04709	62	52	10	0
5697	Oh that? That’s just a modern art piece.	1.1613	0.05241	62	53	8	1
5698	My patients feel a sense of calm when they see I worked with knives in my last profession!	1.1609	0.04588	87	75	10	2
5699	Preapproval from you insurance company is not definite.	1.1609	0.04588	87	75	10	2
5700	Its called "accurate-or-puncture"	1.1609	0.03962	87	73	14	0
5701	Who do you think I am, a surgeon?	1.1609	0.04588	87	75	10	2
5702	During the operation, I'll go straight for the heart.	1.1609	0.04286	87	74	12	1
5703	Dr Google...or me? Your call	1.1609	0.04286	87	74	12	1
5704	See, percentages just give people a wrong idea, in this cases. There is a thin line between being successful and completely screwing it up. Let me show you a graphic example.	1.1609	0.04588	87	75	10	2
5705	We try to have a more holistic approach than places that just put you under the knife.	1.1607	0.05569	56	48	7	1
5706	If I don’t make eye contact, they can’t see me.	1.1607	0.05569	56	48	7	1
5707	You’ll be the first patient to have his prostate removed using this revolutionary technique.	1.1605	0.04104	81	68	13	0
5708	As you can see, we practice in this practice	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
5709	I guess we won't be opening you up after all.	1.1605	0.04104	81	68	13	0
5710	It integrates and streamlines diagnosis and treatment.	1.1605	0.04797	81	70	9	2
5711	Most of my patients say it doesn't hurt at all.	1.1605	0.05109	81	71	7	3
5712	Like I told my last patient, the treatment is still experimental and can be hit or miss. -Laurie Pearlman Park, Upper St. Clair, PA	1.1605	0.05109	81	71	7	3
5713	It's our new concept of elective surgery!	1.1605	0.05109	81	71	7	3
5714	It's a non-invasive surgery, you're moreso around the knife.	1.1605	0.04104	81	68	13	0
5715	Most of our patients experience complete relief from their hyperactivity in just one session!	1.1605	0.04104	81	68	13	0
5716	-Sorry... The drum roll tape isn't working	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
5717	Let's get to the heart of the matter, shall we?	1.1600	0.05383	75	66	6	3
5718	Alright Mr. Ames, you’re up.	1.1600	0.05037	75	65	8	2
5719	Now, this is a test for what we call the "startle response."	1.1600	0.05037	75	65	8	2
5720	Next target shouldn't be my heart because it's already broken.	1.1600	0.04665	75	64	10	1
5721	No need to worry, according to my surgical nurse she was just practicing to get me the scalpel quicker.	1.1600	0.04665	75	64	10	1
5722	I only missed once with the previous treatment.	1.1600	0.04262	75	63	12	0
5723	I have one more. Do you think between the legs is where I should aim?	1.1600	0.04665	75	64	10	1
5724	Your anxiety is misplaced. I can easily throw this last one right between your legs. Then you will be virile once again. Trust me.	1.1600	0.04665	75	64	10	1
5725	It’s covered by insurance and my track record is 8 out of 10.	1.1600	0.04665	75	64	10	1
5726	A laser-cutter would be much more precise.	1.1600	0.04665	75	64	10	1
5727	This time can you stand on one leg for me?	1.1600	0.04262	75	63	12	0
5728	I like to prove my skills with a knife before surgery.	1.1600	0.04665	75	64	10	1
5729	You're not superstitious are you, Patient #13?	1.1600	0.05237	50	42	8	0
5730	You either miss or be missed.	1.1600	0.05037	75	65	8	2
5731	Doctor, hello! I appreciate you saving me from danger. I would have been nowhere without you.	1.1600	0.04262	75	63	12	0
5732	Congratulations you are the only one that faced the wall and caught the last one	1.1600	0.05966	50	43	6	1
5733	It only took three knives to get that guy over the tremors.	1.1596	0.04358	94	81	11	2
5734	Not a scratch, as far as we know.	1.1596	0.04088	94	80	13	1
5735	If you pass this test you will never suffer from anxiety attacks again!	1.1594	0.04439	69	58	11	0
5736	I'll peruse the the outline, then take a stab at it.	1.1594	0.05700	69	61	5	3
5737	You have an Abyss.	1.1594	0.04439	69	58	11	0
5738	Med students!	1.1594	0.05313	69	60	7	2
5739	Yes, it’s a bit unorthodox, but, as you can see, the odds are in your favor.	1.1594	0.04896	69	59	9	1
5740	It’s much faster than testing your reflexes, your eyesight, and your blood pressure.	1.1594	0.04439	69	58	11	0
5741	I tried to eliminate that creepy aura around you but it looks like I’ve failed	1.1594	0.04439	69	58	11	0
5742	I was first in my class in " Knife skills OUTSIDE the body.."	1.1594	0.04896	69	59	9	1
5743	We’re trying to make the executions more fun this year.	1.1594	0.04439	69	58	11	0
5744	Guess I’ll be OK.	1.1591	0.04241	88	75	12	1
5745	Unfortunately my last patient gave me the ax.	1.1591	0.04241	88	75	12	1
5746	Fortunately I have the hands of a surgeon.	1.1587	0.04641	63	53	10	0
5747	Do you feel lucky?	1.1587	0.04641	63	53	10	0
5748	We received some complaints about our social distancing policy	1.1587	0.05163	63	54	8	1
5749	If this doesn't work, we'll try sawing you in half next.	1.1587	0.05637	63	55	6	2
5750	Great example of survivor bias.	1.1587	0.05637	63	55	6	2
5751	I have good imaging results because I help people learn to be still.	1.1587	0.04641	63	53	10	0
5752	The residents took turn throwing surgical knives	1.1587	0.04641	63	53	10	0
5753	I’m sorry but your acupuncture failed.	1.1587	0.05163	63	54	8	1
5754	Please go in and stand still, we need to take a look inside you.	1.1587	0.04641	63	53	10	0
5755	As with many procedures,there	1.1585	0.04058	82	69	13	0
5756	It’s a new form of acupuncture!	1.1585	0.04058	82	69	13	0
5757	You'll be fine. Let's put a knife in you.	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
5758	Don't worry. This game is reserved for surgeons who can't make the cut.	1.1585	0.04743	82	71	9	2
5759	I told you I went to a good medical school.	1.1585	0.04058	82	69	13	0
5760	Oh,this is Doctor Coglin's office but I've seen it done on YouTube.	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
5761	Is this was anaesthesia feels like?	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
5762	Relax, I’m on a roll.	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
5763	You're only a bit wider than the outline--shouldn't be a problem.	1.1579	0.04211	76	64	12	0
5764	There's just one more test we'd like to run you through, Mr. Stickly.	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
5765	It's fair and balanced exploratory surgery.	1.1579	0.04873	57	48	9	0
5766	Relax, this is just my warmup for your surgery.	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
5767	Thirteenth time's the charm!	1.1579	0.04211	76	64	12	0
5768	I like to play outside the lines	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
5769	This was my first attempt at an appendectomy— you will be the second” Jeffrey Manly Toronto, Ont	1.1579	0.06023	57	50	5	2
5770	FDA approval is pending. Your insurance may not cover it.	1.1579	0.04211	76	64	12	0
5771	… and I can also prescribe laxatives if this doesn’t work	1.1579	0.04873	57	48	9	0
5772	Let's turn your stabbing pain into stabbing fame!	1.1579	0.04211	76	64	12	0
5773	And this is why no nurses will join us in the operating theatre.	1.1579	0.04975	76	66	8	2
5774	My wife drew this.	1.1579	0.05316	76	67	6	3
5775	medicine is not a circus act, or is it?	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
5776	Of course, I’m cutting board certified.	1.1579	0.04975	76	66	8	2
5777	Spooky shadow surgery successful.	1.1579	0.05316	76	67	6	3
5778	It’s kinda new unorthordox treatment..successful…so far!…	1.1579	0.04211	76	64	12	0
5779	Trust me. You'll never again have a fear of flying after surviving this treatment.	1.1579	0.04975	76	66	8	2
5780	Only a fool claims that medicine is an exact science.	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
5781	So, do you think the Dems will adopt this new way of voting for a nominee, Kev?	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
5782	See, look! I blew the x-ray up. That sharp pain in you back is not actually a knife.	1.1579	0.04975	76	66	8	2
5783	As you can see, I have done 3 or 4 times before. So far so good!	1.1573	0.04197	89	76	12	1
5784	If you think this is amazing, just look at how white our laundry service keeps these sheets. I don't know how they get the blood stains out.	1.1573	0.04491	89	77	10	2
5785	You missed the apple!	1.1571	0.05242	70	61	7	2
5786	As you can see, this kind of surgery results in a minimum of scarring.	1.1571	0.04831	70	60	9	1
5787	We took care of your werewolf-like hair, but now get back in so we can do your circumcision.	1.1571	0.04381	70	59	11	0
5788	And that's why they call it a medical "practice".	1.1571	0.05242	70	61	7	2
5789	Let’s see how the diet is going…	1.1571	0.04381	70	59	11	0
5790	Take your place in front of the silhouette and let's see if we can't pinpoint the source of your problem.	1.1571	0.04381	70	59	11	0
5791	Oh that…yeah, that’s how we Surgeons unwind. It’s proven to be rather therapeutic, according to our colleagues in Psychiatry.	1.1571	0.05242	70	61	7	2
5792	Well... I took a stab at it.	1.1571	0.05242	70	61	7	2
5793	This chart reminds our surgical team of the precision we seek.	1.1571	0.04831	70	60	9	1
5794	Reliving my carnie days helps me relax before performing major surgery.	1.1571	0.05242	70	61	7	2
5795	Its getting Closer.	1.1571	0.04831	70	60	9	1
5796	As you can see I've outlined the procedure.	1.1571	0.04831	70	60	9	1
5797	I was trained in the circus!	1.1571	0.04831	70	60	9	1
5798	Don’t worry.. circumcision will go well..	1.1571	0.04381	70	59	11	0
5799	For my next trick, you can be the doctor	1.1571	0.04381	70	59	11	0
5800	We avoid surgeries whenever possible	1.1569	0.05856	51	44	6	1
5801	My surgical specialty is the art of impalement, but you're entitled to a second opinion.	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
5802	And when all else fails...	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
5803	Not bad for a DO	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
5804	Et tu, Dude?	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
5805	This vasectomy method minimizes surgery time, and maximizes my TikTok views.	1.1566	0.04014	83	70	13	0
5806	It’s a top down operation minimally invasive.	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
5807	Think that's enough?	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
5808	Practice makes perfect.	1.1562	0.05088	64	55	8	1
5809	I’ve had a go from every angle, but nothing seems to have had an effect yet…	1.1562	0.05554	64	56	6	2
5810	Not to worry. Those previous patients only had benign tumors.	1.1562	0.04575	64	54	10	0
5811	I've missed you.	1.1562	0.05088	64	55	8	1
5812	Don't worry, my assistant "Blade" is out getting another dozen knives.	1.1562	0.05088	64	55	8	1
5813	You did ask for a Price Cut	1.1562	0.05554	64	56	6	2
5814	“Rest assure your surgery will not be a “knives out”mystery.	1.1562	0.05554	64	56	6	2
5815	This is the part where I determine if you should be treated medically or surgically	1.1562	0.05088	64	55	8	1
5816	It’s a simple, non-invasive procedure guaranteed to cure constipation	1.1562	0.05088	64	55	8	1
5817	Don’t worry. I’m very precise	1.1562	0.05088	64	55	8	1
5818	This is the latest method for blood pressure testing.	1.1562	0.05088	64	55	8	1
5819	But Doc, I said I had laundry issues, not boundary issues	1.1562	0.05088	64	55	8	1
5820	There will be no scarring.	1.1562	0.05088	64	55	8	1
5821	I thought I told you that I was a holistic surgeon.	1.1562	0.05088	64	55	8	1
5822	This is necessary for you to file for Medicare Advantage pre-authorization.	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
5823	Have I you convinced you yet that I can accurately excise that wart?	1.1558	0.04914	77	67	8	2
5824	Relax and step in the form, I'm Dr. Brown with eternal medicine.	1.1558	0.04914	77	67	8	2
5825	and now the inside	1.1558	0.04161	77	65	12	0
5826	I assure you,we never let the surgeons play.	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
5827	Mother always liked you best - but don't worry, I graduated near the top of my class on this treatment method	1.1558	0.04161	77	65	12	0
5828	There’s no record of mistakes in my line of business.	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
5829	I have a lot of experience with this operation.	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
5830	A little dated, I know, but our new reflex hammer hasn't come in yet.	1.1558	0.04161	77	65	12	0
5831	I really hoped you wouldn’t miss.	1.1558	0.04161	77	65	12	0
5832	Before I can give you your prognosis, let me check if you're a lucky person or not.	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
5833	I thought I felt a draft!	1.1556	0.04444	90	78	10	2
5834	Okay, this last one will be your prostate exam.	1.1552	0.04796	58	49	9	0
5835	According to your last test, we've conquored your delirium tremens.	1.1552	0.04796	58	49	9	0
5836	This Adam's Apple operation is very odd.	1.1552	0.04796	58	49	9	0
5837	This time, I’ll be you.	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
5838	I suggest that you stay still to get the full effect.	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
5839	They say a baker’s dozen hits the spot! What do ya think? J Kinsey, Toronto ONT	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
5840	No, your insurance company does not cover telehealth visits.	1.1549	0.04325	71	60	11	0
5841	You won't put on weight with this diet.	1.1549	0.04325	71	60	11	0
5842	Passive/aggressive?	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
5843	Prostate surgery is very precise. I won't nick you inside the lines until it is medically imperative that I get close to your junk.	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
5844	…and we don’t need an anesthesiologist because by the time I start cutting you’ll probably pass out	1.1549	0.04325	71	60	11	0
5845	That’s the other EKG, I meant Epic Knife Game	1.1549	0.05172	71	62	7	2
5846	The extraction of the inner self is a complicated process but also hugely cathartic.	1.1549	0.04325	71	60	11	0
5847	Should I trust him yet?	1.1549	0.05172	71	62	7	2
5848	You seen the movie	1.1549	0.05172	71	62	7	2
5849	It may not cure you but look at that spread!	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
5850	See, its a life skill I learned in 80s	1.1549	0.05172	71	62	7	2
5851	Now we’ve identified the problem area.	1.1549	0.04325	71	60	11	0
5852	Don't worry. The last patient forgot to draw the "X" on his incision site.	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
5853	Hit the bullseye or become one	1.1549	0.05172	71	62	7	2
5854	As you can see ,my dearest brother, it's quite safe. I've even tried it out on myself.	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
5855	It’s Medicare’s new policy, but it won’t cost you a limb.	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
5856	If I hit you, the stitches are free!	1.1548	0.03970	84	71	13	0
5857	I think you need a new ophthalmologist!	1.1548	0.04316	84	72	11	1
5858	You're killing me.	1.1548	0.04936	84	74	7	3
5859	As you can see, no worries, the incision I throw will be right on.	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
5860	One more and you'll be cured forever.	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
5861	The new acupuncture: you won't feel a thing...	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
5862	It's what I do to unwind.	1.1538	0.04510	65	55	10	0
5863	Of course I'm a 'real doctor.' I spent seven years getting my Ph.D. in statistics, for crying out loud!	1.1538	0.05015	65	56	8	1
5864	OK, now just stand against the wall, breathe deeply, and count backwards from 100.	1.1538	0.05015	65	56	8	1
5865	We think we're getting more precise on how to insert the scalpel!	1.1538	0.06372	52	46	4	2
5866	Vasectomies take practice.	1.1538	0.05015	65	56	8	1
5867	Luck is on your side. Let's get you prepped for surgery shall we?	1.1538	0.05473	65	57	6	2
5868	Hack jobs are in.	1.1538	0.05896	65	58	4	3
5869	Invented by a woman.	1.1538	0.05473	65	57	6	2
5870	There’s no shame in admitting you’ve missed a step, Double-0.	1.1538	0.03803	91	77	14	0
5871	It’s just helps keep my team from straying outside the boundaries of your surgery.	1.1538	0.04510	65	55	10	0
5872	Looks like you're allergic to knives.	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
5873	I rarely miss and think of how good you’ll feel when it’s over	1.1538	0.05015	65	56	8	1
5874	As you can see, I have a lot of experience. Success is another story.	1.1538	0.05015	65	56	8	1
5875	Skill set translated nicely. Better benefits. But l, atmosphere just isn’t the same	1.1531	0.04192	98	85	11	2
5876	Trust me: I’m not related to Ed Ames.	1.1529	0.03927	85	72	13	0
5877	Graduated last in my class from Slice U.	1.1529	0.03927	85	72	13	0
5878	Yes, thus far, perfectly safe.	1.1529	0.03927	85	72	13	0
5879	Statistically speaking, this won’t hurt a bit.	1.1529	0.04269	85	73	11	1
5880	I never became a Mohel.	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
5881	I'd like to get a second opinion from Dr. Spoon.	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
5882	You should see my ex,Ray!	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
5883	We could have honored your request for chemical euthanasia, but our hospital policy is to satisfy patients with a range of creative options ...and we 'aim to please'.	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
5884	I developed this stress test during an internship at Barnum & Bailey.	1.1528	0.05104	72	63	7	2
5885	I've had extensive training on this procedure.	1.1528	0.04270	72	61	11	0
5886	It is why they call him The Teflon Man	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
5887	As you can see, Mr. Williams, I'm a very skilled surgeon.	1.1528	0.05104	72	63	7	2
5888	This shouldn’t hurt at all.	1.1528	0.04270	72	61	11	0
5889	Some practices use the new Cyberknife - but we prefer the traditional version.	1.1528	0.05104	72	63	7	2
5890	We've restored sporting values to modern medicine.	1.1528	0.04270	72	61	11	0
5891	I like to think it's the new hands on medical practice technique	1.1528	0.04270	72	61	11	0
5892	If this doesn’t work I’ll try a gun.	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
5893	Not to worry... I only hit the target one out of thirteen times.	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
5894	The billing department had dibs on your back.	1.1528	0.04270	72	61	11	0
5895	My vocation is also my avocation.	1.1528	0.04270	72	61	11	0
5896	How long have I been practicing, you ask?	1.1528	0.05474	72	64	5	3
5897	Welp, I guess I keep missing the spot.	1.1528	0.04270	72	61	11	0
5898	I'm that good. No need for a surgical room.	1.1525	0.04721	59	50	9	0
5899	Relax, this is just our test for emotional stability	1.1525	0.06310	59	53	3	3
5900	No sir, my method of liposuction is not a sideshow at all.	1.1525	0.05304	59	51	7	1
5901	At 58.33%, our successful outcomes are among the best in the nation	1.1525	0.04721	59	50	9	0
5902	I trained at Imperial College, London and Ringling College for Performing Arts	1.1525	0.04721	59	50	9	0
5903	Your health insurance only covers the treatment of a lateral entrant.	1.1519	0.05124	79	70	6	3
5904	If this doesn’t work, then surgery is no longer an option.	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
5905	You have a magnetic personality	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
5906	I HAVE A VERY SUCCESSFUL RECORD... ...SO FAR.	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
5907	That’s the only you have surgery without scarring	1.1519	0.04797	79	69	8	2
5908	We told you "Sharpness & Accuracy.Guaranteed. Of course, you coming out of surgery in one-piece is a worthy add-on. So, shall we proceed...?	1.1519	0.04797	79	69	8	2
5909	when I first started, he had extremities	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
5910	Ed Ames? Why?	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
5911	You can always get a second opinion. If you're feeling lucky ...	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
5912	This is where we conduct the pre-op exam.	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
5913	Just stand over here and I'll tell you where it hurts.	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
5914	Don’t worry, your insurance will cover the surgery.	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
5915	Don't worry, your ID number is chosen at random, Test Subject 128.	1.1519	0.04797	79	69	8	2
5916	Relax, this shouldn't hurt a bit.	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
5917	I also do bris	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
5918	I didn't think living on a knife edge went this far?'	1.1519	0.04797	79	69	8	2
5919	Really doc, A vasectomy is out of the question.	1.1515	0.04944	66	57	8	1
5920	Head to toe body sculpting is the newest thing is plastic surgery. Of course your recovery time is at least a year.	1.1515	0.04944	66	57	8	1
5921	So then I thought, why not combine palliative care with my other true calling?	1.1515	0.04944	66	57	8	1
5922	If you don’t focus on the last elective patient, this years class of surgical residents looks promising	1.1515	0.04447	66	56	10	0
5923	A time tested ritual.	1.1515	0.04447	66	56	10	0
5924	of course we try to be more accurate.	1.1515	0.05811	66	59	4	3
5925	This last one is for vasectomies.	1.1515	0.05811	66	59	4	3
5926	Your predecessor was lucky, only 15 stitches on his arm.	1.1515	0.04944	66	57	8	1
5927	We can eliminate your anxiety for good - one way or another.	1.1515	0.04447	66	56	10	0
5928	As you can see, I have an excellent track record with this procedure.	1.1515	0.04447	66	56	10	0
5929	It’s that or surgery!	1.1515	0.05395	66	58	6	2
5930	Think of it this way. Whether I miss you or not, you’ll never have low blood pressure again.	1.1515	0.05395	66	58	6	2
5931	You have a slight growth at your hand on your right side; we will adjust for that.	1.1515	0.04944	66	57	8	1
5932	Yeah, surgery is a nice gig, but my passion is carnival entertainment!	1.1515	0.04447	66	56	10	0
5933	Recently we've had success with this procedure.	1.1515	0.04447	66	56	10	0
5934	This new acupuncture technique is hit or miss.	1.1515	0.05395	66	58	6	2
5935	So we came up with a new way of measuring your height. This is more precise than the imperial system.	1.1515	0.04944	66	57	8	1
5936	You need a new profile.	1.1515	0.04447	66	56	10	0
5937	We like to be on the cutting edge of pain management at this facility.	1.1515	0.04447	66	56	10	0
5938	Every knife that touches him turns invisible	1.1515	0.04447	66	56	10	0
5939	Theyv'e told me its quite similar to the board game Operation..." Hope theyr'e right! j k fuller. genoa, nv	1.1512	0.03885	86	73	13	0
5940	Before we operate we like to perform what we call a NSST-Nervous System Stability Test	1.1512	0.03885	86	73	13	0
5941	It’s an outpatient procedure.	1.1512	0.03885	86	73	13	0
5942	Note the symmetry. It’s my signature.	1.1512	0.04223	86	74	11	1
5943	Your profession has a risk of radical over-exposure to iron.	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
5944	It’s optional, but as my twin you may feel obligated.	1.1507	0.05038	73	64	7	2
5945	Unbelievable. Well, we'll have to try something more aggressive. I'll have my assistant prep the therapeutic circus cannon.	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
5946	Go to the bathroom, take your socks off and we will get started.	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
5947	Those were all done by my lovely assistant.	1.1507	0.04216	73	62	11	0
5948	This is our new stress test	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
5949	Oh come on, this is the exciting way to draw blood.	1.1507	0.04216	73	62	11	0
5950	Stab! Jab! Tomato tomato.	1.1507	0.04216	73	62	11	0
5951	Our new technique greatly reduces the need for expensive scalpels and vastly improves patient recovery.	1.1507	0.04216	73	62	11	0
5952	Do you see how dangerous it is to keep moving to the right?	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
5953	Eh-‘em who let him become a doctor?	1.1507	0.04216	73	62	11	0
5954	As you can see I am well ‘cut out’ to do this type of surgery	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
5955	They're getting closer and closer to developing a targeted therapy for your condition.	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
5956	It's either a misdiagnosis or a mess of dagger noses.	1.1507	0.05403	73	65	5	3
5957	Doctor’s orders!	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
5958	So, what do you say we get that mole removed, eh?	1.1507	0.04216	73	62	11	0
5959	"You either are nearsighted or need an anatomy lesson	1.1507	0.04216	73	62	11	0
5960	You should see the guy on the practice run	1.1507	0.05038	73	64	7	2
5961	I think the old ways are often the best ways.	1.1507	0.04216	73	62	11	0
5962	Yep.... your prostate will be juuuust fine.	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
5963	He loves knives but can't stand the sight of blood!	1.1505	0.03728	93	79	14	0
5964	See, adult circumcisions are my specialty.	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
5965	You look cut out for it.	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
5966	Just jump right in there. As you can see. you've nothing to fear.	1.1500	0.04649	60	51	9	0
5967	While it’s not an exact science, we’ve had a pretty good success rate…	1.1500	0.04649	60	51	9	0
5968	Bill, I want you to think surgical precision combined with a tale for the ages.	1.1500	0.05221	60	52	7	1
5969	You will be anesthetized.	1.1500	0.04017	80	68	12	0
5970	Don't be scared-- you're safe with me.	1.1500	0.04649	60	51	9	0
5971	As you can see,I'm very good with a scalpel.	1.1500	0.05221	60	52	7	1
5972	Nailed it	1.1500	0.05221	60	52	7	1
5973	I specialize in experimental surgery.	1.1500	0.04017	80	68	12	0
5974	Is this what you meant by that first do no harm thing?	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
5975	We have nearly zeroed in on the problem, Mr. Sakine.	1.1500	0.04017	80	68	12	0
5976	When will the Donald’s luck end?	1.1500	0.04017	80	68	12	0
5977	Relax Mr Jones, circumcision can be a lot of fun	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
5978	Personally, I haven't missed yet. I mean "hit."	1.1500	0.05221	60	52	7	1
5979	and this is why, brother, i am moms favourite	1.1500	0.05221	60	52	7	1
5980	Hopefully you’ve read up on survivorship bias…	1.1500	0.04740	80	70	8	2
5981	Four more and he	1.1494	0.04775	87	77	7	3
5982	As skilled surgeons,we avoid hitting the mark.	1.1494	0.04486	87	76	9	2
5983	There’s no more room to play.	1.1494	0.03844	87	74	13	0
5984	When you said you were going to "perform surgery," I didn't think you meant on an actual stage.	1.1493	0.04386	67	57	10	0
5985	Well yes, the ones I don't hit walk away.	1.1493	0.04386	67	57	10	0
5986	Here, at Last Option Hospital, we are on the cutting edge of medicine."	1.1493	0.04386	67	57	10	0
5987	And now, for my next diagnosis...	1.1493	0.04875	67	58	8	1
5988	I'll knock ten bucks off your bill if you let me whip knives at you for the next hour.	1.1493	0.04875	67	58	8	1
5989	It’s a new Covid protocol we’re trying here at the CDC. You’re fine.	1.1493	0.05318	67	59	6	2
5990	Are you up for one more throw	1.1493	0.04875	67	58	8	1
5991	Next, we’re going to test your reflexes.	1.1493	0.04875	67	58	8	1
5992	Trust me I'm a doctor, I wouldn't lie to you..."	1.1493	0.04386	67	57	10	0
5993	Finally! Surrounded! ???	1.1493	0.05318	67	59	6	2
5994	Showoff!	1.1493	0.04386	67	57	10	0
5995	You see... this demonstrates how close to death you can come, but how very alive you want to be. There's a reason they don't let siblings operate on each other.	1.1493	0.04875	67	58	8	1
5996	This way it's more fun, plus we have 100% success rate	1.1493	0.05318	67	59	6	2
5997	Do you feel more comfortable now?	1.1493	0.04386	67	57	10	0
5998	I seldom miss major organs. He was an outlier.	1.1486	0.04164	74	63	11	0
5999	Time for the final phase of your treatment -- the crotch.	1.1486	0.05333	74	66	5	3
6000	Sorry, I was multi-tasking	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
6001	Well, sorry about that. These odds are a whole lot better!	1.1486	0.04164	74	63	11	0
6002	Those are the best test results Ive seen in a while.	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
6003	I have to yet to it the birth mark.	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
6004	Your insurance wanted a copy of your patient profile.	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
6005	I would rather see a chart of you going in than staying out!	1.1486	0.04164	74	63	11	0
6006	Nothing to worry about. Just a little nerve test.	1.1486	0.04164	74	63	11	0
6007	See,I have perfect precision! You have nothing to worry about!	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
6008	Since you’re having elective surgery, you can elect to cancel.	1.1486	0.04164	74	63	11	0
6009	We're all stitched up, good as new.	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
6010	Our package deal includes Band-aids and last rites.	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
6011	We start double-blind trials next week.	1.1486	0.04164	74	63	11	0
6012	Well,I'm not gonna say luck lasts forever,but...	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
6013	That was William Tell's Overture!	1.1486	0.04164	74	63	11	0
6014	As a teaching hospital, we're committed to keeping our clinical rotations engaging.	1.1486	0.04164	74	63	11	0
6015	Since when do we operate outside the lines?	1.1486	0.04164	74	63	11	0
6016	Happy Hoax Day! #january6th	1.1486	0.04164	74	63	11	0
6017	Sure, we can do general anesthesia if your insurer will cover it.	1.1481	0.04880	54	46	8	0
6018	Your plan is an "Out of Body" one.	1.1481	0.03972	81	69	12	0
6019	Before we begin, let me call housekeeping.	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
6020	With all due respect to The Tonight Show and Johnny Carson, are you sure you want that circumcision?	1.1481	0.03972	81	69	12	0
6021	Remember this: wherever it lands. Repeat that to yourself 3 times.	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
6022	Soon I will be ready for your appendectomy.	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
6023	It gives new meaning to the term “under the knife”	1.1481	0.04880	54	46	8	0
6024	Oh, this is just a good use of my extra kitchen knives.	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
6025	Don't worry Mr. Bullsi. Just step inside the outline and we'll try to pinpoint your problem."	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
6026	I’ve given up using scalpels since my last undertaking.	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
6027	Take care of the hair, eh?	1.1481	0.03972	81	69	12	0
6028	Deals a deal. Now stand back and let’s get that kidney.	1.1481	0.06147	54	48	4	2
6029	Missed ya , now I gotta’ kiss ya.	1.1475	0.04578	61	52	9	0
6030	As your twin, let me try next ...	1.1475	0.04578	61	52	9	0
6031	This is our new stress tester Mr. Haden. just stand in the outline and remain perfectly still.	1.1475	0.04578	61	52	9	0
6032	So far it looks like you can expect a speedy recovery.	1.1475	0.04578	61	52	9	0
6033	Your odds of surviving are excellent.!	1.1475	0.05141	61	53	7	1
6034	My family won't let me carve at Thanksgiving.	1.1475	0.05647	61	54	5	2
6035	Does #13 work for you ?	1.1475	0.05647	61	54	5	2
6036	And now for my next trick,your HSA will disappear.	1.1475	0.05647	61	54	5	2
6037	Relax. Thirteenth try’s the charm, right?	1.1475	0.05141	61	53	7	1
6038	This is the way surgeons stress to their patients the importance of being fully anesthetized during surgery.	1.1471	0.04327	68	58	10	0
6039	It's my newest approach to surgery. Your appendix will be out in no time.	1.1471	0.04807	68	59	8	1
6040	It's all covered in the Informed Consent Form.	1.1471	0.04327	68	58	10	0
6041	It's a non-invasive surgery but like all medical procedures it comes with a risk.	1.1471	0.04807	68	59	8	1
6042	You should be able to claim this as sexual counseling with your HSA	1.1471	0.04327	68	58	10	0
6043	It's the newest therapy called shock therapy. It has surprisingly great results. 98.8 percent reliability.	1.1471	0.04327	68	58	10	0
6044	Well, it looks like we've been able to locate the problem areas in your aura.	1.1471	0.04327	68	58	10	0
6045	Now that we've removed those skin tags, please get back in the outline and turn to your right.	1.1471	0.04807	68	59	8	1
6046	No worries. This is the latest in cyber knife surgery. One quick snip and you'll be done and on your way.	1.1471	0.04327	68	58	10	0
6047	It's the warmup I learned at Barnum & Bailey's med school.	1.1471	0.04327	68	58	10	0
6048	It's a pretty routine procedure,depending on your exact dimensions.	1.1471	0.05244	68	60	6	2
6049	Just wanted to reassure you that I always keep my knives super sharp!	1.1471	0.04807	68	59	8	1
6050	Knife throwing is my "Side Hustle"	1.1471	0.04807	68	59	8	1
6051	If it looks too good to be true...	1.1471	0.04807	68	59	8	1
6052	Good try class, but let me demonstrate a successful vasectomy.	1.1471	0.04807	68	59	8	1
6053	My methods have a 100% negative predictive value.	1.1471	0.05244	68	60	6	2
6054	Looks like you don’t meet the clinical trial requirements for medical acupuncture after all	1.1471	0.05244	68	60	6	2
6055	It’s still experimental, but we’ve seen some success for patients with hypersomnia.	1.1471	0.04807	68	59	8	1
6056	We control for type 1 errors.	1.1471	0.04807	68	59	8	1
6057	I believe in creating incentives for patients to follow their treatment plans.	1.1467	0.04530	75	65	9	1
6058	This is why my lipo surgery is so cheap.	1.1467	0.04113	75	64	11	0
6059	Really impressive, but isn't my hearts more toward the middle?	1.1467	0.04530	75	65	9	1
6060	Sorry, but your insurance doesn't cover this part of the exam.	1.1467	0.04113	75	64	11	0
6061	Going outside the lines is just a hobby. Yours will all be inside the lines.	1.1467	0.04113	75	64	11	0
6062	Sure, I can get that knot for you.	1.1467	0.04113	75	64	11	0
6063	There's no co-pay for survivorship bias	1.1467	0.04530	75	65	9	1
6064	My malpractice insurance rates are almost as absurd as my hobbies.	1.1467	0.04113	75	64	11	0
6065	We like to refer to it as ejective surgery.	1.1463	0.04293	82	71	10	1
6066	The good news is: I don't think we'll be needing any anesthesia for this.	1.1463	0.04631	82	72	8	2
6067	That's right. I'm an aural surgeon.	1.1463	0.04293	82	71	10	1
6068	Nine out of ten doctors always miss.	1.1463	0.03927	82	70	12	0
6069	Is there a point to all this ?	1.1463	0.03927	82	70	12	0
6070	Unfortunately, you need to see a specialist.	1.1463	0.03927	82	70	12	0
6071	As you can see, it is literally impossible for me to stab anyone in the back. You weren't meant for medical school, Josiah. Accept your lot in life. Now, are you ready for that appendectomy?	1.1463	0.04631	82	72	8	2
6072	It's like pin the tail on the donkey except if I win, I remove your inflamed appendix. Fun, right?	1.1463	0.03927	82	70	12	0
6073	I'm not a professional knife-thrower...	1.1461	0.03765	89	76	13	0
6074	Everything checks out.	1.1455	0.04798	55	47	8	0
6075	The good news is that you passed your stress test. The bad news is that your reflexes are terrible.	1.1452	0.04510	62	53	9	0
6076	Now that I’ve guessed your exact weight, let’s biopsy that lump.	1.1452	0.05063	62	54	7	1
6077	Please take off the gown. Sorry, I forgot the one between the legs.	1.1452	0.04510	62	53	9	0
6078	He didn't feel a thing.	1.1452	0.04510	62	53	9	0
6079	He wasn’t much of a surgeon though.	1.1452	0.04510	62	53	9	0
6080	...and whoever misses gets promote to administration.	1.1452	0.05560	62	55	5	2
6081	Full disclosure for experimental procedures...it's hit or miss	1.1452	0.05063	62	54	7	1
6082	I need to get the spot between the legs. Do you mind?	1.1452	0.06017	62	56	3	3
6083	If your anxiety returns, close your eyez and remember this day…..	1.1452	0.04510	62	53	9	0
6084	The procedure is quite simple given your coverage plan.	1.1452	0.04510	62	53	9	0
6085	Think of it like acupuncture, only different. If your faith is strong enough in medical science, you'll be fine.	1.1452	0.05063	62	54	7	1
6086	And that's what therapists do for therapy	1.1452	0.04510	62	53	9	0
6087	We found that too thin subjects discouraged participation in the early trials.	1.1452	0.05063	62	54	7	1
6088	As you can see, I do know what I’m doing. Shall we get this vasectomy out of the way now?	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
6089	Trust me, this knife is the key to living longer.	1.1449	0.04269	69	59	10	0
6090	You'll be fine...not to worry...but we are still perfecting the technique.	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
6091	Want a go at it? I'll be right behind you!	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
6092	You get to stand there for thew next throw.	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
6093	I never been known as a backstabber.	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
6094	It's your chance to go viral on Tic-Toc.	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
6095	A dozen specialists have agreed that surgery is unnecessary. Let's see if your lucky number is 13.	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
6096	Hey, this is America, you should appreciate that I'll take 10% off your bill if you're part of my live magic/surgery show.	1.1449	0.04269	69	59	10	0
6097	You can see how good our champion thrower is. Next is the runner up, who wasn't quite as accurate.	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
6098	You might want to get a fifth opinion.	1.1449	0.04269	69	59	10	0
6099	Just a little operating room humor. Not to worry, I never miss.	1.1449	0.04269	69	59	10	0
6100	The outside the lines technique only works for coloring	1.1449	0.04269	69	59	10	0
6101	Don't worry, look what happened to the last guy here. He was mostly okay, except for a knife that impaled him.	1.1449	0.05569	69	62	4	3
6102	As you can see,I take the Hippocratic oath very seriously.	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
6103	Mother always said we were perfectly fitted for medical practice.	1.1449	0.04269	69	59	10	0
6104	clearly an iron deficiency	1.1449	0.04269	69	59	10	0
6105	It's true. Pre-surgery can be a little scary.	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
6106	Even we psychologists have to get people under the knife every now and then.	1.1449	0.04269	69	59	10	0
6107	Now that you're prepped, time for the real surgery	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
6108	It’s the new height chart.	1.1447	0.04063	76	65	11	0
6109	We can no longer find someone who both fits and is not terrified.	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
6110	The effectiveness of this treatment is being studied.	1.1447	0.04850	76	67	7	2
6111	I'm surprised, too. But this new diagnostic process is almost always accurate.	1.1447	0.04063	76	65	11	0
6112	I wouldn't worry, there's only a 1 in 150 chance that patients who take this test have a negative reaction.	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
6113	Oh, that's just a side gig. Spinal surgery, sideshow acts, sous-chef — it's all just knife work really.	1.1447	0.04063	76	65	11	0
6114	It's called plastic surgery.	1.1447	0.04850	76	67	7	2
6115	This is how we test our surgeons for their precision skills!	1.1447	0.04063	76	65	11	0
6116	I never miss on Thursdays	1.1447	0.04063	76	65	11	0
6117	I warmed the last guy not to move but he had to scratch an itch. What a shame.	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
6118	Not getting to the heart of the matter	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
6119	Mom always said you were the more aimless brother.	1.1447	0.04063	76	65	11	0
6120	This is now how we test your reflexes.	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
6121	It’s from my previous placement. We used to be called “The Flying Butcher Boys .”	1.1446	0.04245	83	72	10	1
6122	Any idea where this knife is supposed to go?	1.1446	0.04245	83	72	10	1
6123	Mistakes, like vasectomies, are free.	1.1446	0.04245	83	72	10	1
6124	Studies have shown that knife throwing can scare you to health!	1.1446	0.03884	83	71	12	0
6125	I could cure you, but then I'd have to kill you.	1.1446	0.03884	83	71	12	0
6126	This is the bejeezus board. Patients stand there and we throw knives at them until the bejeezus is scared out of them.	1.1446	0.03884	83	71	12	0
6127	Your blood pressure should be lower now.	1.1446	0.04245	83	72	10	1
6128	I used to be the doctor for the circus!	1.1442	0.03965	104	91	11	2
6129	My weekend gig is as a circus knife-thrower. But during the week I prefer to call it “high-stakes acupuncture.”	1.1429	0.04444	63	54	9	0
6130	As you can see, my twin, my first 12 surgeries have been successful.	1.1429	0.05135	77	69	5	3
6131	Care to spice up your operation?	1.1429	0.04527	84	74	8	2
6132	Sometimes my diagnoses are just hit-or-miss.	1.1429	0.04014	77	66	11	0
6133	Our experiments have indicated that patient survival rate increases dramatically when we hit the area surrounding the body, so that’s where we’ll aim.	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
6134	It looks like you have lost your touch, 007.	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
6135	There's nothing to worry about. We've done this procedure a thousand times.	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
6136	See, I'm very careful.	1.1429	0.05102	70	62	6	2
6137	You can spread just a little	1.1429	0.04987	63	55	7	1
6138	I put the “practice” in “malpractice “	1.1429	0.04718	56	48	8	0
6139	Don’t worry, this is our new outpatient procedure approved by most insurance providers and Medicare.	1.1429	0.03841	84	72	12	0
6140	I think we're getting closer to a rough outline ...	1.1429	0.04444	63	54	9	0
6141	So... no harm, no foul?	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
6142	We find this method helps put things in perspective for the patient.	1.1429	0.04987	63	55	7	1
6143	If you think that's impressive, imagine what I can do with a scalpel."	1.1429	0.03553	98	84	14	0
6144	Just one more. Stand there. Don’t move your feet. Don’t worry, I head the surgery dept. I’ve never missed……..yet.	1.1429	0.04718	56	48	8	0
6145	I always like to warm up before I get started.	1.1429	0.04790	77	68	7	2
6146	If you pull the gown up and spread your legs a little wider, I’ll try to fix your prostate problem.	1.1429	0.04444	63	54	9	0
6147	What makes you think you’re not the first clone?	1.1429	0.04444	63	54	9	0
6148	His HMO allowed a more nuanced posthumous diagnosis	1.1429	0.04444	63	54	9	0
6149	It's a nerve reaction exercise that you need to pass."	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
6150	I'm in-network.	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
6151	We don't have the correct diagnosis yet, but when we do....	1.1429	0.04198	84	73	10	1
6152	OK then, let’s Check your reflexes.	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
6153	See, I told you that wouldn't hurt.	1.1429	0.04987	63	55	7	1
6154	I just completed my certification in the latest Laser Guided surgical technique	1.1429	0.04198	84	73	10	1
6155	May I bend in extremely low?	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
6156	The procedure we'll be doing is more of an art than a science.	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
6157	Surgery is always our last resort.	1.1429	0.04987	63	55	7	1
6158	First, we take aim at the more obvious scenarios . . .	1.1429	0.04213	70	60	10	0
6159	That's DOCTOR Carny to you.	1.1429	0.05102	70	62	6	2
6160	How badly do you want that medical marijuana card?	1.1429	0.05476	63	56	5	2
6161	I decided that after all those years traveling with the Circus I would use my skill to start performing vasectomies!	1.1429	0.04444	63	54	9	0
6162	Of course you can give me one more try - this is why we call it "the practice" of medicine.	1.1429	0.04014	77	66	11	0
6163	See, I hardly ever miss.	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
6164	And this is the final test - it’s called the ‘Take-a-stab-at-it-o-meter’.	1.1429	0.04213	70	60	10	0
6165	Hoping to build your confidence, maybe?	1.1429	0.04213	70	60	10	0
6166	Yes,OF COURSE, SOME of them didn’t miss!	1.1429	0.04213	70	60	10	0
6167	As you can see, I've been practicing.	1.1429	0.04987	63	55	7	1
6168	Let's hope you're under the knife.	1.1429	0.05476	63	56	5	2
6169	Like I said, the procedure was completely painless."	1.1429	0.04444	63	54	9	0
6170	I am not "In -Network" so the next one is through your heart.	1.1429	0.04444	63	54	9	0
6171	With that diagnosis, shall I take a stab at removing your aura of ambition?	1.1429	0.04987	63	55	7	1
6172	Now can we proceed with your surgery?	1.1429	0.04014	77	66	11	0
6173	Turns out, it’s the missing data that showed us where to put more armor…	1.1429	0.04419	77	67	9	1
6174	OK, I have one more attempt before it is no longer ‘assisted’.	1.1429	0.04014	77	66	11	0
6175	Jeffrey Toobin took his dick out on a zoom call.	1.1429	0.04527	84	74	8	2
6176	Jeez, this guy’s outline is made out of knives, I guess.	1.1412	0.03799	85	73	12	0
6177	Surgical residency? What surgical residency	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
6178	I always do an in-depth patient profile before surgery.	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
6179	In my professional opinion, you're really bad at throwing knives!	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
6180	you’re in knife town now baby	1.1410	0.04732	78	69	7	2
6181	We’ll need to do a little more exploratory surgery.	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
6182	Given my knife skills, your appendectomy will be a piece of cake.	1.1410	0.03966	78	67	11	0
6183	See, this is what happens when doctors cheat on their online exams.	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
6184	Now that I've outlined the extent of the problem, shall we go ahead and schedule your surgery?	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
6185	Never say I don't love you, bro.	1.1410	0.03966	78	67	11	0
6186	Your results came back positive during the game, but would you like to play again?	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
6187	First it was darts then it was axe throwing but I think I found my new hobby.	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
6188	Let’s see Patch Adams try that!	1.1410	0.03966	78	67	11	0
6189	Our bill collection technique.	1.1408	0.05033	71	63	6	2
6190	So you see, it takes 13 knives to remove an appendix.	1.1408	0.04158	71	61	10	0
6191	And that's why you're still wearing shoes.	1.1408	0.04616	71	62	8	1
6192	I haven’t finished my surgical training	1.1408	0.04158	71	61	10	0
6193	You wanted the minimally invasive procedure?	1.1408	0.04158	71	61	10	0
6194	I won’t miss when you have surgery	1.1408	0.05033	71	63	6	2
6195	This is our new cutting edge treatment	1.1408	0.04616	71	62	8	1
6196	It’s a great way to warm up before my first surgery of the day…. Every now and again IT IS my first surgery of the day.	1.1408	0.04616	71	62	8	1
6197	Oh, don't fret! I did my last surgery with a chainsaw.	1.1408	0.04616	71	62	8	1
6198	Ny record speaks for itself.” Erica Weingast, New York Cit	1.1408	0.04158	71	61	10	0
6199	One hundred and sixth time’s a charm.	1.1408	0.04158	71	61	10	0
6200	Nobody has died...yet	1.1408	0.04616	71	62	8	1
6201	The treatments used to be brutal; now we use the cyber-knife!	1.1408	0.04616	71	62	8	1
6202	Is there a family history of high blood pressure?	1.1408	0.04158	71	61	10	0
6203	Adult circumcision-always difficult.	1.1408	0.04158	71	61	10	0
6204	You sure you want to roll the dice with botox to give you a Cary Grant chin dimple	1.1408	0.04158	71	61	10	0
6205	Did I mention I auditioned for the 3-quel to Knives Out?	1.1408	0.04616	71	62	8	1
6206	Obviously the odds of success with this type of surgery are low… but when I get it right it’s quick and painless.	1.1408	0.04616	71	62	8	1
6207	For this job, I will be the Dr and you the vasectomy patient.	1.1408	0.04616	71	62	8	1
6208	If I hit you the surgery’s free. If I miss you pay double. Wanna play?	1.1408	0.04158	71	61	10	0
6209	The procedure for excising one's aura is proven 99.5% effective in reducing bad vibes in men over 30. So is leaving medical school to join the circus.	1.1406	0.04380	64	55	9	0
6210	Don’t worry. We finally managed to find his appendix.	1.1406	0.05395	64	57	5	2
6211	With your insurance level if I hit you with this knife, the surgery’s free.	1.1406	0.04914	64	56	7	1
6212	If the knife doesn’t hit the target area, it must be all in your head	1.1406	0.04914	64	56	7	1
6213	You did say you wanted to shave a few pounds off,right?	1.1406	0.04914	64	56	7	1
6214	Of course I did a surgical residency . It was at Ringling brothers .	1.1406	0.04380	64	55	9	0
6215	It's a less invasive procedure. Usually.	1.1406	0.04914	64	56	7	1
6216	Lately, I have no “me time “ so I’ve decided to combine my hobby with my work .	1.1406	0.04380	64	55	9	0
6217	I'll show those clowns at the Children's Hospital they don't need no stinkin' magician	1.1406	0.04914	64	56	7	1
6218	I just do the doctor thing for my amusement...	1.1406	0.04380	64	55	9	0
6219	Congrats, you survived 2022	1.1406	0.04380	64	55	9	0
6220	You’re really cut out for this.	1.1404	0.05274	57	50	6	1
6221	Another few sessions will help you overcome your anxiety - one way or another.	1.1404	0.04642	57	49	8	0
6222	There's some risk to this treatment, but if successful, you’ll feel ten years younger!	1.1404	0.05274	57	50	6	1
6223	Worst First Date Ever.	1.1404	0.05274	57	50	6	1
6224	Have you eaten anything today?	1.1404	0.04642	57	49	8	0
6225	Now just think of that brain tumor as an apple on your head, and you'll be fine!	1.1404	0.04642	57	49	8	0
6226	No, Mr. Johnson. I do not believe you are really capable of being a cold-blooded, psychotic killer. But have you ever considered a career with the circus upon your discharge from the facility?	1.1404	0.05274	57	50	6	1
6227	That’s the good news; the bad news is you’ve only got 3 more months!!	1.1404	0.04642	57	49	8	0
6228	Combine your passion with your job — and never work a day in your life!	1.1398	0.03925	93	81	11	1
6229	Now that we have skirted the issues, it's up to you now!	1.1395	0.03758	86	74	12	0
6230	It's a new technique we learned from the Amazing Dr. Throwdini.	1.1395	0.03758	86	74	12	0
6231	We're famous for our cutting edge approach.	1.1392	0.03920	79	68	11	0
6232	The surgery will be a 'crap shoot' Mr. Smith. But trust me.	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
6233	So far, everything looks fine, but we need to talk about your pancreas.	1.1392	0.03920	79	68	11	0
6234	The trouble was, there were an odd number of knives. He didn’t know where to aim the 13th . Unlucky for you.	1.1392	0.03920	79	68	11	0
6235	This is how I check the accuracy of my visual fields	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
6236	I meant it when I said I take seriously my Hippocratic oath to 'do no harm' .	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
6237	Sorry, I missed it.	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
6238	Unfortunately, a lot of insurance companies consider the final treatment to be strictly elective.	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
6239	Our organic "Anesthesia"!	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
6240	With your vasectomy behind us, Sam, can I finally ask you to assist me in completing the delicate slot between the legs?	1.1392	0.03920	79	68	11	0
6241	Either your wife is either a expert with throwing knives or very bad. My suggestion is that you remain very CALM.	1.1392	0.03920	79	68	11	0
6242	So we've had to combine surgery and anesthesia... just don't move!	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
6243	So far doctor, I'm not getting the point.	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
6244	Here's a lesson on Survivorship Bias and Trust	1.1392	0.03920	79	68	11	0
6245	The business school around the corner actually asked to borrow this as part of a lesson plan	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
6246	Well, looks like this is the end for you, clone #238.	1.1392	0.04675	79	70	7	2
6247	Again,what does this procedure protect me from?	1.1389	0.04556	72	63	8	1
6248	Though our previous attempts at diagnosis were inconclusive. I recommend we take one more stab at it.	1.1389	0.04104	72	62	10	0
6249	It's mostly just fondant	1.1389	0.04556	72	63	8	1
6250	What did you expect when you opted for the cheapest health insurance?	1.1389	0.04104	72	62	10	0
6251	It only takes one, you know.	1.1389	0.04556	72	63	8	1
6252	Didn't know my surgeon was still in training.	1.1389	0.04967	72	64	6	2
6253	I was mentored by Ed Ames.	1.1389	0.04556	72	63	8	1
6254	There's no need to go under the knife. Unless you make a sudden move.	1.1389	0.04104	72	62	10	0
6255	It's the only way to actually see if.... (your answer here).	1.1389	0.04556	72	63	8	1
6256	OK. Assume the position. And p[ease hold still. This one may hurt a little.	1.1389	0.04556	72	63	8	1
6257	Well, the diagnostic test shows we will do arthroscopic surgery instead.	1.1389	0.04556	72	63	8	1
6258	Pleaae count backwards from 100.	1.1389	0.04556	72	63	8	1
6259	I'm very precise with surgical knives. Don't want those pesky lawsuits that are inevitable when losing a patient.	1.1389	0.04104	72	62	10	0
6260	You know what they say, 13th time's the charm	1.1389	0.04967	72	64	6	2
6261	I assure you , Mr. Swallowback, all vasectomy doctors warm up this way.	1.1385	0.04842	65	57	7	1
6262	Never had a knife go wrong yet. So, you can be sure they know what they'll be doing.	1.1385	0.04317	65	56	9	0
6263	It's just a bit of a warmup before I do the actual surgery.	1.1385	0.04317	65	56	9	0
6264	Stand there so I can check your pulse.	1.1385	0.04317	65	56	9	0
6265	They say I’m a magician.	1.1385	0.04317	65	56	9	0
6266	Your body is shaved, now step back in and let's shave that head.	1.1385	0.04842	65	57	7	1
6267	I ran away from the circus to join this practice.	1.1385	0.04317	65	56	9	0
6268	Knife throwing gives our surgeons a cutting edge.	1.1385	0.04842	65	57	7	1
6269	I see you have a career in cutlery for the taking.	1.1385	0.04842	65	57	7	1
6270	Well, you definitely did no harm.	1.1385	0.04842	65	57	7	1
6271	Give me some advice, where should I start taking out your appendix? Leif Griffin, Missoula, MT	1.1385	0.04842	65	57	7	1
6272	Cut me out!	1.1385	0.05315	65	58	5	2
6273	So sir, the recipe for your boredom is getting out of your comfort zone. Believe me, I've been through the same.	1.1385	0.04317	65	56	9	0
6274	Just one more lab test.	1.1385	0.04842	65	57	7	1
6275	We get to the heart of the matter after practice.	1.1385	0.05315	65	58	5	2
6276	Aural Surgery? I'm sorry, I thought you said Aura Surgery.	1.1385	0.04317	65	56	9	0
6277	Before I was administered into the "assisted dying program" I worked my talents at the circus	1.1385	0.04842	65	57	7	1
6278	Lucky Number 13	1.1385	0.04842	65	57	7	1
6279	We realize it's unconventional surgery but we have an excellent success rate.	1.1379	0.05188	58	51	6	1
6280	No worries, I'm also a resident in surgery.	1.1379	0.05188	58	51	6	1
6281	Well, it’s how I do surgery.	1.1379	0.05188	58	51	6	1
6282	Fortunately for you, today is opposite day.	1.1379	0.04567	58	50	8	0
6283	When I was younger I ran away with the circus, so my credentials should be more than satisfactory	1.1379	0.04567	58	50	8	0
6284	Don't worry. Just measurements before you go under the knife.	1.1379	0.05188	58	51	6	1
6285	If you'll stand back, I'll show you where I'm going to operate.	1.1379	0.04567	58	50	8	0
6286	‘This time, I’ll be ready.’	1.1379	0.05188	58	51	6	1
6287	Well, I think we need to try naccupuncture.	1.1375	0.03875	80	69	11	0
6288	Hope you are as sharp as you say.	1.1375	0.04620	80	71	7	2
6289	They’re called breasts and we all have them.	1.1370	0.04497	73	64	8	1
6290	yes. I am Surgical with these knives.	1.1370	0.04052	73	63	10	0
6291	Your odds are not great!	1.1370	0.04497	73	64	8	1
6292	Our Operating Room staff like to get to know the patient before operating on them.	1.1370	0.04052	73	63	10	0
6293	Just wanted to demonstrate my surgical precision.	1.1370	0.04052	73	63	10	0
6294	Well, Randolph, you've always been the edgier twin,	1.1370	0.04902	73	65	6	2
6295	Ever had a CAT scan?	1.1370	0.04902	73	65	6	2
6296	Just relax about the surgery, Mr Jones. As you can see I have a steady hand.	1.1370	0.04902	73	65	6	2
6297	Nothing to worry about - my work speaks for itself!	1.1370	0.04497	73	64	8	1
6298	My, you’ve carved out quite a niche for yourself.	1.1370	0.04052	73	63	10	0
6299	The results of this rapid test will tell us how much time you have left.	1.1370	0.04902	73	65	6	2
6300	But doctor the pain is in my groin !	1.1370	0.04052	73	63	10	0
6301	Welcome to America's Got Surgeons auditions... and good luck!	1.1370	0.04497	73	64	8	1
6302	Come on, it’s gonna be fine!	1.1370	0.04052	73	63	10	0
6303	This is the latest innovation that will cure your lack of anxiety.	1.1364	0.04257	66	57	9	0
6304	ODDS ARE AGAINST ME !	1.1364	0.04257	66	57	9	0
6305	Don’t worry. Surgery is a very precise science. This is just a new methodology we’re trying out.	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
6306	I understand your concern about the remaining procedure.	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
6307	“It’s my cure for ‘White Coat Syndrome.’”	1.1364	0.04257	66	57	9	0
6308	Have I ever hit the kidney? No. But there's a first time for everything.	1.1364	0.04257	66	57	9	0
6309	My aim will be better once we cut you open.	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
6310	Are you familiar with the hockey term 'the 5 Hole'"	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
6311	I think I need a second opinion, you just can't cut it.	1.1364	0.04257	66	57	9	0
6312	I promise you, the vasectomy will be over in a minute.	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
6313	Sure it looks impressive, but I just don’t have the strength to penetrate a body AND the wall.	1.1364	0.05239	66	59	5	2
6314	To me, as your physician, I consider one in thirteen odds to be a pretty good prognosis"	1.1364	0.04257	66	57	9	0
6315	I said I’d try to squeeze you in.	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
6316	Well, I got what NOT to do covered. You ready?	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
6317	So let me make sure I'm understanding this right. You'll be doing the same to me, only lying down?	1.1364	0.05239	66	59	5	2
6318	Please step inside for the finishing prickle.	1.1364	0.04331	88	78	8	2
6319	As you can see, this is the most non-invasive procedure I can offer.	1.1364	0.04257	66	57	9	0
6320	Mr. Jones it really is your lucky day. Physical prostate exams are no longer required.	1.1364	0.04257	66	57	9	0
6321	You can see why I didn't go into surgery.	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
6322	Don't worry, I promise to stay inside the lines, this time.	1.1364	0.05239	66	59	5	2
6323	Here's an outline of your non-invasive treatment!	1.1364	0.04257	66	57	9	0
6324	Based on your coverage, outcomes are hit or miss.	1.1364	0.04257	66	57	9	0
6325	This is proof thatI know my way around with a knife	1.1364	0.05239	66	59	5	2
6326	Be assured, our knives are made from medical-grade stainless steel and sterilized between each trial.	1.1364	0.04773	66	58	7	1
6327	this your first prostate exam?” @shittynewyorkercartooncaption	1.1364	0.04257	66	57	9	0
6328	I can’t figure out what’s going on. Why don’t you take a stab at it.	1.1358	0.03830	81	70	11	0
6329	See one, do one, teach one.	1.1358	0.04565	81	72	7	2
6330	Those were my first 12 throws. Hope you’re not superstitious about #13.	1.1356	0.04495	59	51	8	0
6331	Here we can excise any fear of general anesthesia.	1.1356	0.04495	59	51	8	0
6332	It’s not about pain.	1.1356	0.05104	59	52	6	1
6333	New surgery technique authorized by the insurance company	1.1356	0.04495	59	51	8	0
6334	Don't worry, it'll be alright on the night.	1.1356	0.05104	59	52	6	1
6335	Because it's more fun than bending over a table under hot lights for two hours.	1.1351	0.04001	74	64	10	0
6336	Ever since we lost our eye chart, we’ve been doing this instead	1.1351	0.04001	74	64	10	0
6337	This makes me look pretty good, doesn't it (ha ha)!	1.1351	0.04001	74	64	10	0
6338	I don’t know if this doctor-themed magic show is going to play in Poughkeepsie.	1.1351	0.04440	74	65	8	1
6339	Don't worry, I almost passed grad school, you should be fine.	1.1346	0.05512	52	46	5	1
6340	This is what "double-blind" looks like without insurance.	1.1343	0.04705	67	59	7	1
6341	Don’t worry, that’s for my assistant.	1.1343	0.04197	67	58	9	0
6342	Yeah, that was a previous patient. He had some "issues with knives."	1.1343	0.04705	67	59	7	1
6343	You see how good my aim is. In your case, however, I'll be shooting for the liver.	1.1343	0.04197	67	58	9	0
6344	As you can see we have a 100% recovery rate.	1.1343	0.04705	67	59	7	1
6345	We must first define the limits of this knife-like pain.	1.1343	0.05164	67	60	5	2
6346	Sorry. Your erogenous zones are failing, but the procedure worked!	1.1343	0.04197	67	58	9	0
6347	As you see, with our cutting edge medical care, we’ll throw everything at your problem	1.1343	0.04705	67	59	7	1
6348	Have you considered getting circumcised?	1.1343	0.04705	67	59	7	1
6349	Yes, there is such a thing as healthy fear...	1.1343	0.04197	67	58	9	0
6350	If you survive it, this trust experiment may reduce your anxiety at surgery.	1.1343	0.04705	67	59	7	1
6351	Is this how you prepared for surgeries?	1.1343	0.04705	67	59	7	1
6352	I promise, I can find your heart next time!	1.1343	0.04197	67	58	9	0
6353	Med school was always just a backup.	1.1343	0.04197	67	58	9	0
6354	I missed JUST once with the previous one	1.1343	0.04705	67	59	7	1
6355	I kept telling them I never got the packages so they kept sending me new ones!	1.1341	0.03787	82	71	11	0
6356	We do surgery differently in Russia; please stand in the silhouette and pray you are not Ukrainian!	1.1341	0.04165	82	72	9	1
6357	Our concierge patients get hand-tailored bespoke gowns.	1.1341	0.03787	82	71	11	0
6358	I've performed this procedure successfully many times.	1.1341	0.03787	82	71	11	0
6359	Let	1.1333	0.04777	75	67	6	2
6360	Then I missed and hit your right arm.	1.1333	0.05023	60	53	6	1
6361	Spyderco says it's too derivative.	1.1333	0.04426	60	52	8	0
6362	Your physical is almost over. I just need to test your nerves and you'll be all done.	1.1333	0.04384	75	66	8	1
6363	Doctor: "Well, now that the hair is removed, we can begin the surgery. I'll use this one for that though."	1.1333	0.04777	75	67	6	2
6364	Yes, some people have panic attacks when around sharp knives. But I have developed a cure.	1.1333	0.04384	75	66	8	1
6365	I TOLD you I took the Hippocratic Oath…	1.1333	0.04384	75	66	8	1
6366	Your problem is you run from the scene when the stakes are the highest.	1.1333	0.05023	60	53	6	1
6367	Not to worry. Your HMO covers your urinary incontinence exam.	1.1333	0.04426	60	52	8	0
6368	We're slowly conquering your Aichmophobia	1.1333	0.03952	75	65	10	0
6369	It's our new diagnostic tool, Fred.	1.1333	0.05023	60	53	6	1
6370	I heard someone has a fear of needles	1.1333	0.04426	60	52	8	0
6371	I told you there was nothing to worry about.	1.1333	0.05023	60	53	6	1
6372	Unfortunately your insurance company will not approve any other kind of imagery.	1.1333	0.03952	75	65	10	0
6373	Yes, this is part of the application process in running for political office. Please stand as still as possible.	1.1333	0.03952	75	65	10	0
6374	You have excellent aim, doc” “Thanks but I’m no doctor.	1.1333	0.03952	75	65	10	0
6375	It works as well as acupuncture, but faster.	1.1333	0.04384	75	66	8	1
6376	Ever heard of survivorship bias?	1.1333	0.04426	60	52	8	0
6377	Well, despite the procedure's current popularity, we are finding those men who prefer a somewhat gradual approach to vasectomy.	1.1333	0.04384	75	66	8	1
6378	Now you know why I had you pay in advance: practice makes perfect, LETS do this!	1.1325	0.03744	83	72	11	0
6379	Your back is to the wall on our practice field.	1.1325	0.04118	83	73	9	1
6380	Et tu, Mr. Brute?	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
6381	Hmm. Well, let’s try again. I can’t figure out why I keep missing the gall bladder.	1.1324	0.04140	68	59	9	0
6382	After the surgeon pins you to the table. He throws this one into your heart.	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
6383	I call it AuraAcupuncture, combining my circus skills with my interest in alternative medicine	1.1324	0.05091	68	61	5	2
6384	Because a regular x-ray will not show how you react to stress...	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
6385	I'm probably somewhat whimsical for a surgeon but my skills are acclaimed.	1.1324	0.04140	68	59	9	0
6386	Once you've passed the bravery test, your health insurance picks up 75% of hospitalization.	1.1324	0.04140	68	59	9	0
6387	You're in good hands, Mr. Stevens. I happen to be a certified practicing physician.	1.1324	0.04140	68	59	9	0
6388	It's like the game, but with axes.	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
6389	Missed again Dr. Sherbert. Next time you should use a machine-gun.	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
6390	You know what they say, Practice makes Perfect!	1.1324	0.04140	68	59	9	0
6391	I don't think you were cut for this job.	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
6392	I like knives.	1.1324	0.04140	68	59	9	0
6393	Don't worry it's an easy Circumcision.	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
6394	Next week, we will confront your fear of gastroenterologists throwing colonoscopes at you.	1.1324	0.05091	68	61	5	2
6395	Proof! There IS no business like Show Business.	1.1324	0.04140	68	59	9	0
6396	That's it for the bladder examination - no problems there.	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
6397	Now, look at your work. Are you still angry Paul?	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
6398	You are truly a great shot and now its turn	1.1324	0.04140	68	59	9	0
6399	So, we might need to get those glasses after all.	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
6400	For the last time Mr. Conrad, I am a professional. Now would you kindly hit the jukebox to Track 8 “Sweet Dreams”? If I don’t have music I really lose my touch.	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
6401	There's a one in thirteen chance of success.	1.1319	0.03566	91	79	12	0
6402	Of course we would add the location of the organ we’re removing.	1.1316	0.03903	76	66	10	0
6403	I don't think you're quite ready to operate on real people.	1.1316	0.04329	76	67	8	1
6404	I find practice is easier for both of us when you put me under.	1.1316	0.04329	76	67	8	1
6405	I’m still working on my acupuncture certificate so it’s up to you.	1.1316	0.03903	76	66	10	0
6406	One out of thirteen isn't bad. It's 7-8 percent!	1.1316	0.03903	76	66	10	0
6407	We’re trying out this new stress test.	1.1316	0.03903	76	66	10	0
6408	This one’s for the bullseye	1.1316	0.04329	76	67	8	1
6409	Death, training for Henry Kissinger	1.1316	0.04329	76	67	8	1
6410	Can you be a little more specific as to where it hurts?	1.1316	0.04717	76	68	6	2
6411	So as you can clearly see,the odds are quite good that you can trust me with your appendix.	1.1316	0.04329	76	67	8	1
6412	At the risk of putting too fine a point on my diagnosis…you have TRUST issues.	1.1316	0.04329	76	67	8	1
6413	Well, the odds are 13 to 1 that I get it right this time...	1.1311	0.05470	61	55	4	2
6414	What are you worried about? Not one knife mark where the patient stands.	1.1311	0.04945	61	54	6	1
6415	Why yes, these were thrown by stormtroopers. How did you know?	1.1311	0.04358	61	53	8	0
6416	Don't worry. Quality Control discovered this knife had a defect.	1.1311	0.04945	61	54	6	1
6417	Me. Kenow,it appears your sleepwalking does not impact your motor skills.	1.1311	0.04358	61	53	8	0
6418	Degree? I haven't lost one yet! How many surgeons can say the same? Anita Barlow, Edmond, OK	1.1311	0.04945	61	54	6	1
6419	No pressure!	1.1311	0.04358	61	53	8	0
6420	I find this demonstration helps patients understand my point.	1.1311	0.04945	61	54	6	1
6421	Just take a deep breath and HOLD it.	1.1311	0.04358	61	53	8	0
6422	Now, now, you can do this. Just go under the knife once more and I'll have you totally cured.	1.1311	0.04358	61	53	8	0
6423	does this convince you more?	1.1311	0.04358	61	53	8	0
6424	Dealers choice plastic surgery on me.	1.1311	0.04358	61	53	8	0
6425	It's O.K. I'll try to find some room somewhere	1.1310	0.04072	84	74	9	1
6426	Do you still want to forego the general anesthesia?	1.1304	0.04084	69	60	9	0
6427	Please be confident that Stony Brook has talented surgeons	1.1304	0.04576	69	61	7	1
6428	Twilight’s wearing off? I promise just one more try and I can get right to the appendix.	1.1304	0.04084	69	60	9	0
6429	I used to be very good at missing the target. Now I am working hard at hitting it.	1.1304	0.04084	69	60	9	0
6430	I used to be a Stormtrooper.	1.1304	0.04576	69	61	7	1
6431	Relax...I'm pretty good with the knife.	1.1304	0.04084	69	60	9	0
6432	Backstabbing is more of an art than a science	1.1304	0.05428	69	63	3	3
6433	This is where a practice for the vasectomies.	1.1304	0.04084	69	60	9	0
6434	However, based on the law of averages ...	1.1304	0.04576	69	61	7	1
6435	We won't operate on the 13th.	1.1304	0.04084	69	60	9	0
6436	Doing this before surgery, strengthens my grip.	1.1304	0.05020	69	62	5	2
6437	Your evasiveness will take you far in life Henry. Well done.	1.1299	0.03856	77	67	10	0
6438	Yes indeedy, the new sobriety test is a real doozy.	1.1299	0.04276	77	68	8	1
6439	We'll do this again after you receive my bill.	1.1299	0.03856	77	67	10	0
6440	Inhale those love handles, Lyle. Mom's blueberry pie is your enemy, here.	1.1299	0.04276	77	68	8	1
6441	My dart board at home looks the same.	1.1299	0.04276	77	68	8	1
6442	Don’t worry, as a child, I mastered Hasbro’s game “Operation”	1.1299	0.03856	77	67	10	0
6443	Please remove your gown and stand with your lefts two -- no, better make it three -- inches apart.	1.1294	0.03662	85	74	11	0
6444	We’re closing in on the problem, Mr. Smith. We’ll need you to step in for just a couple more tests.	1.1290	0.04292	62	54	8	0
6445	The great thing about this procedure is you’ll forget all about your pain.”	1.1290	0.05385	62	56	4	2
6446	Please tell me there's a short learning curve	1.1290	0.04869	62	55	6	1
6447	Kevlar Men	1.1290	0.04292	62	54	8	0
6448	You should see the other guy.	1.1286	0.04030	70	61	9	0
6449	The good news, you won't have any scars.	1.1286	0.04030	70	61	9	0
6450	Are you sure this will cure my rash?	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
6451	This is the best treatment when the cancer has spread.	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
6452	This is the one that's going to get you.	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
6453	Sometime these surgeries can be	1.1286	0.04030	70	61	9	0
6454	Outstanding political campaign imagery - if only I could sell it.	1.1286	0.04030	70	61	9	0
6455	I told you I was good with a knife. That newfangled laser surgery is for the unskilled.	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
6456	It’s proven very effective for anxiety.	1.1286	0.04514	70	62	7	1
6457	You realize the next one is 13?	1.1282	0.04224	78	69	8	1
6458	Sorry to have to tell you. But as you can see, the odds of this operation being successful are only one in 1 in 13.	1.1282	0.03810	78	68	10	0
6459	Step up to the board and I'll take out your gall bladder.	1.1282	0.04224	78	69	8	1
6460	Not to worry. My diagnostic record is flawless.	1.1282	0.04224	78	69	8	1
6461	Well doc,you will soon know,where YOU stand!	1.1282	0.04224	78	69	8	1
6462	Your major surgery requires I throw 6 from the handle and 6 from the blade.	1.1282	0.03810	78	68	10	0
6463	This will speed up your barium test.	1.1282	0.03810	78	68	10	0
6464	That pesky gnat shouldn’t bother you anymore.	1.1282	0.03810	78	68	10	0
6465	Mirror, mirror on the wall is next door.	1.1282	0.04224	78	69	8	1
6466	Your insurance policy only covers partial "assisted death."	1.1279	0.03982	86	76	9	1
6467	Okay, I'll tie you to that wall then I'll do what I did to the last to the last 35 people or so.Try not to sqirm!	1.1279	0.03982	86	76	9	1
6468	Safer than acupuncture, probably.	1.1273	0.05225	55	49	5	1
6469	This knife scan suggests your body is healthy.	1.1273	0.05225	55	49	5	1
6470	I get a lot fewer complaints about accuracy once I got rid of the scale.	1.1270	0.05303	63	57	4	2
6471	We know medical errors are going to happen. Why not have a little fun with them?	1.1270	0.05303	63	57	4	2
6472	We’ll cut here and here and here and… No worries. I’m great at what I do. .	1.1270	0.04229	63	55	8	0
6473	Maybe I should have retired when I was on top of my game.	1.1270	0.04229	63	55	8	0
6474	I'll book you in for another appointment and we'll run some more tests	1.1270	0.04796	63	56	6	1
6475	See I told you, you have a magnetic field	1.1270	0.04796	63	56	6	1
6476	It's a delicate operation, but I've had lots of experience.	1.1270	0.04229	63	55	8	0
6477	Well, you did poorly on your reflex test but at least you're cholesterol is low.	1.1270	0.05303	63	57	4	2
6478	If you look here, turns out the cause of your stomach pain was actually 'bad vibes', but the removal was a total success	1.1270	0.04229	63	55	8	0
6479	I'm glad that I brought my bazooka for fun!	1.1268	0.04885	71	64	5	2
6480	I’ve only missed once	1.1268	0.04454	71	63	7	1
6481	Step up. I practice symmetry.	1.1268	0.04454	71	63	7	1
6482	Well that seems to have cured your essential tremors. How's the saw throat?	1.1268	0.04885	71	64	5	2
6483	Well, the students are just practicing for their first appendectomy.	1.1268	0.03977	71	62	9	0
6484	There’s been a replacement. The new guy is called, “Pedro, the Fairly Accurate Knife Thrower”.	1.1268	0.04454	71	63	7	1
6485	Treatment is FDA approved.	1.1268	0.03977	71	62	9	0
6486	The board's never taken a knife where you'll stand.	1.1268	0.03977	71	62	9	0
6487	Nothing to worry about...	1.1268	0.03977	71	62	9	0
6488	I'm excited to try this new technique for your circumcision	1.1268	0.03977	71	62	9	0
6489	Sorry, but you knew the mohel's on vacation...so you're stuck with me.	1.1268	0.03977	71	62	9	0
6490	We are simply going to scare the tumor right out of you.	1.1268	0.03977	71	62	9	0
6491	It’s a straight forward surgery, we make incisions in twelve places.	1.1268	0.04454	71	63	7	1
6492	I dabble in art	1.1268	0.04454	71	63	7	1
6493	The procedure is almost entirely non-invasive.	1.1266	0.04174	79	70	8	1
6494	You should have taken a step to your left when he yelled at you!	1.1266	0.03765	79	69	10	0
6495	...Maybe you should not ask where...!!!	1.1266	0.03765	79	69	10	0
6496	. “So I’ve calculated your BMI….”	1.1264	0.03584	87	76	11	0
6497	Don't worry, we gave him a 20% reduction on the procedure.	1.1250	0.03721	80	70	10	0
6498	Sure: Some people want a non-invasive procedure.	1.1250	0.03925	72	63	9	0
6499	My obvious skill with a scalpel means your prostate surgery will be a success.	1.1250	0.04219	88	79	7	2
6500	Of course, the ones you see here didn't cure anything.	1.1250	0.04167	64	56	8	0
6501	You’ll. feel better when it’s over	1.1250	0.04725	64	57	6	1
6502	Some people are just bullet proof!	1.1250	0.03925	72	63	9	0
6503	The diagram is just a blueprint but that's why we suggested you follow it.	1.1250	0.04459	56	49	7	0
6504	As you can see, I have yet to breach any ethical standards...	1.1250	0.03897	88	78	9	1
6505	I'm comfortable you won't cut any major arteries during surgery.	1.1250	0.03925	72	63	9	0
6506	We're finding these can be accurate diagnostic tools	1.1250	0.03721	80	70	10	0
6507	Pick an organ you don’t like. I can cut it out for free as an end of the year bargain.	1.1250	0.04167	64	56	8	0
6508	I'M SAVING THIS ONE FOR YOUR HEART	1.1250	0.04395	72	64	7	1
6509	This is all your insurance will cover for the vasectomy.	1.1250	0.04395	72	64	7	1
6510	This will keep you from moving during surgery	1.1250	0.03925	72	63	9	0
6511	Those long, stupefying lists of potentially harmful side effects on those "ask your doctor" drug commercials? Not here. The virus is simply scared out of you, sent packing.	1.1250	0.04725	64	57	6	1
6512	Are those capri pants, Jerry?	1.1250	0.03925	72	63	9	0
6513	So you can see how safe this is,and I only have one more knife to throw,so step up!	1.1250	0.03925	72	63	9	0
6514	Just relax, take a deep breath and bend over!	1.1250	0.04492	80	72	6	2
6515	You sure this will be non-invasive?	1.1250	0.03925	72	63	9	0
6516	You’ll get the final pathology report in 2-6 weeks	1.1250	0.04725	64	57	6	1
6517	It’s our new systemic healthcare.	1.1250	0.03925	72	63	9	0
6518	You in great health Bob, now we just have the prostate check left and then you’ll be on your way.	1.1250	0.04725	64	57	6	1
6519	Somewhat reassuring to know you're not a back-stabber...	1.1250	0.04820	72	65	5	2
6520	Our ambulant surgeries have a high success rate.	1.1250	0.03721	80	70	10	0
6521	Show me on the wall where he stabbed you.	1.1235	0.04076	81	72	8	1
6522	Try not to move, even if you get knicked on one.	1.1233	0.03875	73	64	9	0
6523	Let me try arthroscopic surgery next	1.1233	0.04338	73	65	7	1
6524	Did I mention I went to Harvard?	1.1233	0.03875	73	64	9	0
6525	We did it! We killed that pesky aura!	1.1233	0.03875	73	64	9	0
6526	I apologize for the inconvenience. This next method will be 100% efficient, I assure.	1.1233	0.04756	73	66	5	2
6527	It doesn't look like acupuncture is going to work for you.	1.1231	0.04655	65	58	6	1
6528	Not sure you read the rules properly	1.1231	0.04107	65	57	8	0
6529	I've got one more, where do you think it should go?	1.1231	0.04107	65	57	8	0
6530	You have the sore throat. (Knives)	1.1231	0.04655	65	58	6	1
6531	our last patient to survive this procedure claimed she had noticed a slight stinging sensation … here and here and here and here and …	1.1231	0.04655	65	58	6	1
6532	Don’t worry. Your insurance will cover it if anything goes wrong.	1.1231	0.04107	65	57	8	0
6533	To be absolutely truthful, I missed only one time.	1.1231	0.04107	65	57	8	0
6534	We’ll either get your spleen out orc we’ll absolutely bring down the house.	1.1231	0.04107	65	57	8	0
6535	Well, I get one more shot.	1.1231	0.04655	65	58	6	1
6536	It's good you came in, we'll be cutting the patient load soon.	1.1231	0.04107	65	57	8	0
6537	I am telling you, you will be fine...	1.1231	0.04655	65	58	6	1
6538	« Bear with me, there’s no other way for becoming a sharp man! »	1.1231	0.04107	65	57	8	0
6539	It hasn’t been approved by the FDA but I have found that my patients have shown consistent weight loss.	1.1228	0.04386	57	50	7	0
6540	How about a haircut?	1.1228	0.05050	57	51	5	1
6541	Looks like your healthy -the blade never lies!	1.1220	0.04029	82	73	8	1
6542	As you can see, we've had some near misses with patients recently.	1.1216	0.04282	74	66	7	1
6543	I thought the nurse said to prep MY routine for surgery.	1.1216	0.04282	74	66	7	1
6544	all the other patients survived but the operation was not successful.	1.1216	0.03825	74	65	9	0
6545	For our next test we will be assessing your stress tolerance.	1.1216	0.04282	74	66	7	1
6546	As you seen, our last client was too 2 dimensional to provide needed results	1.1216	0.04282	74	66	7	1
6547	Or, you could wear the gown home.	1.1216	0.03825	74	65	9	0
6548	After years of complaints from residents across the country, we are piloting this lower stress approach to your Board exams.	1.1216	0.04695	74	67	5	2
6549	I'm working on a new technique for open heart surgery	1.1212	0.04588	66	59	6	1
6550	It’s the most effective treatment for knife phobia, and if it cured Lucille Ball, it can cure you.	1.1212	0.04588	66	59	6	1
6551	He’s quite out of it. I told him it was shock therapy.	1.1212	0.04588	66	59	6	1
6552	It appears you have a deep hatred for air.	1.1212	0.04048	66	58	8	0
6553	Stand there. As you can see, I haven't hit anyone yet. But I've been practicing, and I think today might be my lucky day!	1.1212	0.04048	66	58	8	0
6554	I mever was a good surgeon.	1.1212	0.04588	66	59	6	1
6555	can you guess where this last knife will lodge” ? l d soderlind mpls mn	1.1212	0.04048	66	58	8	0
6556	You should see how good I am on prostrates.	1.1212	0.04048	66	58	8	0
6557	It's the most effective treatment we've tried in years.	1.1207	0.04315	58	51	7	0
6558	Urology requires a steady hand	1.1207	0.05542	58	53	3	2
6559	…and now I’ve chosen you to be a pioneer in my effort to revolutionize the vasectomy industry “	1.1207	0.04315	58	51	7	0
6560	Oh, him. The insurance company would’ve authorize his treatment.	1.1207	0.04967	58	52	5	1
6561	We do gusto cure your hiccups.	1.1207	0.04315	58	51	7	0
6562	If you’d like, you can close your eyes, but it’s not necessary; I always turn out all the lights before I start throwing.	1.1207	0.05542	58	53	3	2
6563	A couple more tries and I'm sure we'll get to the heart of the matter.	1.1207	0.04315	58	51	7	0
6564	Like I was telling the last guy, if Elon Musk died in a house fire tomorrow, not a single person would mourn his death. Not even his kids.	1.1205	0.03595	83	73	10	0
6565	Just be glad O.J. didn't throw those knives.	1.1200	0.04228	75	67	7	1
6566	Well, it looks impressive, but I'd like to see what's under the cardboard profile?	1.1200	0.03778	75	66	9	0
6567	There, that wasn't so bad was it? Now, are you ready for your operation?	1.1200	0.03778	75	66	9	0
6568	We’ll, it’s an operating table AND a game table.	1.1200	0.03778	75	66	9	0
6569	Actually, we find that the 13th opinion is the charm.	1.1200	0.03778	75	66	9	0
6570	Now will you let me fix that hernia?	1.1200	0.03778	75	66	9	0
6571	So this is assisted suicide?	1.1200	0.03778	75	66	9	0
6572	A definite OCD pattern.	1.1194	0.04523	67	60	6	1
6573	I've gotten all the easy ones. You up for a challenge	1.1194	0.03991	67	59	8	0
6574	I promise top quality care, but only if you face the "Wall of Death"	1.1190	0.03938	84	75	8	1
6575	This disease is known for its side effects,	1.1190	0.03555	84	74	10	0
6576	And one more will be 106. Let’s hope it’s your lucky number, Steve.	1.1186	0.05451	59	54	3	2
6577	This is our latest development in exploratory surgery, we let the knife be our guide.	1.1186	0.04246	59	52	7	0
6578	1. No worries, Mr. Smith. I haven't killed a patient yet. 2. Relax, I hardly ever miss.	1.1186	0.04246	59	52	7	0
6579	Don’t worry, it’s just a routine vasectomy.	1.1186	0.04246	59	52	7	0
6580	The secret to my perceived greatness is simple. There are no marks on the board when I miss.	1.1186	0.04246	59	52	7	0
6581	New Year’s resolution? If you’re not a fan of exercise, there’s another way to take off a few pounds.	1.1186	0.04886	59	53	5	1
6582	If I could bottle what you have...	1.1184	0.03731	76	67	9	0
6583	Now really there's no need to worry. I did that with my eyes closed. All YOU have to do is lay still!	1.1184	0.03731	76	67	9	0
6584	I find playing human target to be very relaxing between surgeries.	1.1184	0.03731	76	67	9	0
6585	Skin is good. Now let’s take a look at that heart.	1.1184	0.03731	76	67	9	0
6586	Thirteenth time lucky?	1.1184	0.03731	76	67	9	0
6587	As you can see, my attempts at surgery have met with ill success.	1.1184	0.04175	76	68	7	1
6588	Hey, don't worry! It isn't exactly rocket science.	1.1184	0.04175	76	68	7	1
6589	It looks so cool.	1.1184	0.04175	76	68	7	1
6590	You get over the claustrophobia pretty quick.	1.1184	0.03731	76	67	9	0
6591	You’re going to feel a small pinch…	1.1184	0.04175	76	68	7	1
6592	The difference is, in surgery the knife goes INSIDE the body.	1.1176	0.03936	68	60	8	0
6593	As you can see from your test, the prognosis is positive...	1.1176	0.03936	68	60	8	0
6594	Because of COVID I've been practicing my distant aim.	1.1176	0.04927	68	62	4	2
6595	Okaaaay, so 12 knives, plus the cost of labor for throwing them, plus the cost of not hitting you… that’ll be $72.642.12	1.1176	0.03515	85	75	10	0
6596	Now do you trust me as your surgeon?	1.1176	0.04556	51	45	6	0
6597	After this procedure, you'll be flowing like Niagra Falls, but it dose pose some risks.	1.1176	0.03936	68	60	8	0
6598	I’ve been having the yips lately, but don’t worry - I always miss	1.1176	0.03936	68	60	8	0
6599	This procedure is for obtuse pain.	1.1176	0.03936	68	60	8	0
6600	You can trust me, I got my precision from working for a magician.	1.1176	0.03936	68	60	8	0
6601	So can I'm 6 foot?	1.1169	0.03685	77	68	9	0
6602	Good news, we didn't hit any vital organs.	1.1169	0.04123	77	69	7	1
6603	Don't worry, one day I'm bound to get your circumcision just right.	1.1169	0.03685	77	68	9	0
6604	So many Circuses have shut down.	1.1169	0.03685	77	68	9	0
6605	I say it's not worth the trouble. Let's retrace our path, cuz there was a pretty snake playing Wordle a block or two back. Take a good view of Clayton's target & get out of its way.	1.1169	0.03685	77	68	9	0
6606	So as you can see, my aim is terrible	1.1169	0.03685	77	68	9	0
6607	For your next trick, uh…treatment, we’ll need an apple.	1.1167	0.04808	60	54	5	1
6608	Nothing to be alarmed about—just a regular surgical procedure!	1.1167	0.04179	60	53	7	0
6609	Like I said, I’m pretty skilled with knives. Now, shall we get on with your vasectomy	1.1167	0.04179	60	53	7	0
6610	As part of our quest for hyper-efficiency, our financial team has recommended combining multiple tests and assessments. This will be part of your IQ test. The person taking their initial knife throwing assessment will be here shortly.	1.1167	0.04179	60	53	7	0
6611	I’d like to try to pinpoint exactly where your pinched nerve is originating from	1.1167	0.04179	60	53	7	0
6612	They call me Doc Eagle Eye.	1.1167	0.04179	60	53	7	0
6613	It appears you are more than ready to go under the knife.	1.1167	0.04808	60	54	5	1
6614	I've had a lot of success with this new non-invasive method.	1.1167	0.04179	60	53	7	0
6615	I think we've narrowed it down...lets give it another go, Leo.	1.1167	0.05363	60	55	3	2
6616	With this procedure you might experience mild to significant emotional scaring.	1.1167	0.04179	60	53	7	0
6617	This is how I avoid stabbing patients in the back.	1.1167	0.04179	60	53	7	0
6618	They don’t teach you target practice in med school, but we do alright.	1.1167	0.04179	60	53	7	0
6619	Of course there’s nothing we can do about your tumor sir but how would you like to feel alive?	1.1167	0.04808	60	54	5	1
6620	I’m sorry to tell you, you have an Electro-Magnetic Force Field	1.1167	0.04808	60	54	5	1
6621	Ready for your appendectomy?	1.1163	0.03477	86	76	10	0
6622	We’re good at our craft, but the groin is well within the margin of error.	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
6623	Target, sample? Agree to disagree. Remove your robe.	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
6624	I don’t know what they’re teaching those new medical student interns…	1.1159	0.04397	69	62	6	1
6625	Yes, we always miss, as far as you can tell.	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
6626	You missed a spot.	1.1159	0.04397	69	62	6	1
6627	Don’t worry, I was voted sharpist dude back in med school.	1.1159	0.04397	69	62	6	1
6628	As you can see, I'm an experienced surgeon.	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
6629	That's how many of my patients woke up feeling better!	1.1159	0.04397	69	62	6	1
6630	Can’t I just go to a Mohel?	1.1159	0.04397	69	62	6	1
6631	One of these days	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
6632	The results all look good so far, just one more test and you're in the clear....	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
6633	see why we ask patients to leave their shoes on?	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
6634	Be very careful not to increase your BMI!	1.1154	0.03641	78	69	9	0
6635	I promise I’ll get your castration right on the next throw.	1.1154	0.04073	78	70	7	1
6636	As you can see we're still in the experimental stage about how to remove a growth like you've developed	1.1154	0.03641	78	69	9	0
6637	If I fail it’s probably because of your disease	1.1149	0.03439	87	77	10	0
6638	We're working on internal medicine.	1.1148	0.04115	61	54	7	0
6639	See? You have nothing to worry about. I'm very accurate, even from a distance.	1.1148	0.04732	61	55	5	1
6640	Give me some money or I’ll stab you.	1.1148	0.04732	61	55	5	1
6641	It's the latest thing, Reiki surgery.	1.1148	0.04732	61	55	5	1
6642	I specialize in action surgery	1.1148	0.04115	61	54	7	0
6643	See, no vital spots!	1.1148	0.04732	61	55	5	1
6644	We did away with the little hammer, we have cutting edge technology to test reflexes now.	1.1148	0.04115	61	54	7	0
6645	Kevin was once again 12 votes short!	1.1148	0.04115	61	54	7	0
6646	I learned everything I need to know about surgery from my days at the circus. Steven Weiss, Chicago, Illinois	1.1143	0.03830	70	62	8	0
6647	There are known unknowns as well as unknown unknowns.	1.1143	0.03830	70	62	8	0
6648	It’s a much safer form of surgery.	1.1143	0.04337	70	63	6	1
6649	Go ahead doc, I’m sure you handle it. If not I better be ready for the grave.” -Alison K. Burns, Salisbury, M	1.1143	0.04337	70	63	6	1
6650	I always use the latest technology. I throw the knife and it tells me where to operate on you.	1.1143	0.03830	70	62	8	0
6651	Dang! I always have trouble removing the gall bladder, but lucky for you I have one more chance to try	1.1143	0.03830	70	62	8	0
6652	I just took out your appendix yesterday; how is this any different?	1.1143	0.04337	70	63	6	1
6653	Don't worry. With our procedure, we never miss the mark.	1.1143	0.03830	70	62	8	0
6654	I like to think of surgery as an impalement art form	1.1143	0.03830	70	62	8	0
6655	So, are we gonna go for the ectomy or the ostomy?	1.1143	0.03830	70	62	8	0
6656	You're a little shorter than I expected, but not to worry. We'll adjust the operating pit for that.	1.1143	0.03830	70	62	8	0
6657	You forgot the "aim"	1.1143	0.03830	70	62	8	0
6658	As your surgeon, I must show you our guidelines.	1.1132	0.05154	53	48	4	1
6659	LAST YEAR THIS IS WHERE WE CUT!	1.1129	0.04659	62	56	5	1
6660	We still need to worry about false negatives. This particular diagnostic procedure is hit and miss.	1.1129	0.04052	62	55	7	0
6661	Welcome to the Stabford prison experiment.	1.1129	0.04659	62	56	5	1
6662	In terms of circulatory therapy, it's cutting edge.....	1.1129	0.04052	62	55	7	0
6663	One of these days you’re going to have to get over your love,hate relationship with your father.	1.1129	0.04659	62	56	5	1
6664	Well,it only takes one.	1.1129	0.04659	62	56	5	1
6665	I MNot to worry, practice makes perfect... and don't forget that my motto is first to do no harmmarmt	1.1127	0.03779	71	63	8	0
6666	This is how we remove that fatty tissue.	1.1127	0.03779	71	63	8	0
6667	So if you are happy enough to stand there why won’t you let me remove your appendix?	1.1127	0.03779	71	63	8	0
6668	And if I miss,there	1.1127	0.03779	71	63	8	0
6669	I’d love to explain this new cutting-edge procedure. But, I’ll cut to the chase and get to the point.	1.1127	0.03779	71	63	8	0
6670	Ok ill admit that was a cool trick. But if you want this operation youll have to stop doing your knife dodging act	1.1127	0.04726	71	65	4	2
6671	Is your cutlery vaccination up to date?	1.1127	0.04279	71	64	6	1
6672	Remember when I told you to avoid risky behaviors? This is the one time I make an exception.	1.1127	0.03779	71	63	8	0
6673	PICK 6	1.1125	0.03975	80	72	7	1
6674	And now you finally go under the knife	1.1125	0.04355	80	73	5	2
6675	My novel approach is designed to leave your privates in situ!	1.1111	0.03730	72	64	8	0
6676	If the procedure isn’t covered under your insurance plan, you can always take your chances on the wall.	1.1111	0.03991	63	56	7	0
6677	Great news! As long as I keep getting a perfect outline, you're in wonderful health.	1.1111	0.03991	63	56	7	0
6678	Frankly, the surgery will be kind of a hit-or-miss challenge.	1.1111	0.03730	72	64	8	0
6679	Now, you have your instructions, if not you may have to have another test. Get my point?	1.1111	0.04588	63	57	5	1
6680	You’re in the control group, and there is an increased risk of morbidity.	1.1111	0.03730	72	64	8	0
6681	Pretty good.	1.1111	0.03730	72	64	8	0
6682	Your HMO requires that we make ten clean throws before starting administering the anesthetic.	1.1111	0.04588	63	57	5	1
6683	First,I'd like to pinpoint the exact source of your back pain.	1.1111	0.03514	81	72	9	0
6684	As I put you under the knife, near-misses aren't always that bad.	1.1111	0.03928	81	73	7	1
6685	I find it helps to keep me surgically sharp.	1.1111	0.03730	72	64	8	0
6686	Your insurance provider now wants us to launch this sharp-pointed knife to the exact location where we will begin surgery. We miss-- you pay either way!	1.1111	0.03928	81	73	7	1
6687	Mapping out clear parameters has always been my surgical guide!	1.1111	0.04588	63	57	5	1
6688	Colonoscopy gone awry	1.1111	0.04222	72	65	6	1
6689	I think his story has holes in it.	1.1111	0.03991	63	56	7	0
6690	This is the off-by-knife error, like an off-by-one error just with knives.	1.1111	0.03991	63	56	7	0
6691	Ok. Now turn around.	1.1098	0.03883	82	74	7	1
6692	Relax, I play darts in the spare time	1.1098	0.03473	82	73	9	0
6693	In your case, I'm going to see if four vodka collins have any effect on my coordination.	1.1096	0.03681	73	65	8	0
6694	As you can see there's nothing to worry about. I haven’t lost a single patient in the 10 years I’ve been using my unique surgery-at-a-distance technique.	1.1096	0.03681	73	65	8	0
6695	So this is what I call a body with a killer silhouette.	1.1096	0.04166	73	66	6	1
6696	It could still be terminal. Come back in six months.	1.1094	0.04519	64	58	5	1
6697	It's very safe we usually miss.	1.1094	0.03932	64	57	7	0
6698	The odds are in your favor…..	1.1094	0.03932	64	57	7	0
6699	You’re right, the analogy isn’t great: yes, the gamma rays will go right through you, unlike the board	1.1094	0.03932	64	57	7	0
6700	I assure you this is a medically necessary procedure	1.1094	0.03932	64	57	7	0
6701	So that's the first part of the trick. But to really pull off the biggest prestige of all time, you now have to cut your finger off." #NicheCaptio	1.1094	0.04519	64	58	5	1
6702	Don’t worry. That’s just for patients who won’t hold still.	1.1091	0.04973	55	50	4	1
6703	Well, we are hoping it will get better with the research grant, but right now it's pretty much hit or miss	1.1091	0.04973	55	50	4	1
6704	The other option is a payment plan	1.1091	0.04242	55	49	6	0
6705	It’s just a testicular screening test.	1.1091	0.04973	55	50	4	1
6706	«The last guy was a circus artist with a tumor on his left testicle…»	1.1091	0.04242	55	49	6	0
6707	Good news the patient survived Bad news I'm the only doc on call now!	1.1081	0.03634	74	66	8	0
6708	Think of medicine as a set of pre-existing constraints, and my job is to squeeze you through successive straitjackets	1.1081	0.03634	74	66	8	0
6709	I'm telling you, I'm a magician!	1.1081	0.04112	74	67	6	1
6710	His personality is truly anti-magnetic	1.1081	0.03634	74	66	8	0
6711	One throw, and your surgery is free.	1.1077	0.03875	65	58	7	0
6712	It’s a test to keep my liability insurance premiums low.	1.1077	0.03875	65	58	7	0
6713	The last guy quit without even taking his payslip."	1.1077	0.04452	65	59	5	1
6714	Look success every time.	1.1077	0.03875	65	58	7	0
6715	Is it good or bad that you have horrible aim?	1.1077	0.03875	65	58	7	0
6716	So this is what you meant when you said let’s try acupuncture. robertahollander@msn.com	1.1077	0.04452	65	59	5	1
6717	Well rick... Looks like chicks are not the only thing that avoid you .	1.1077	0.03875	65	58	7	0
6718	The Administration makes me take this sobriety test before I do every surgery.	1.1071	0.05512	56	52	2	2
6719	To be honest this won't help you but it makes me feel great.	1.1071	0.04171	56	50	6	0
6720	Think of this as preop.	1.1067	0.03588	75	67	8	0
6721	I am telling you I almost always perfect. This proves it! Kinda spotty on your need, the heart area. But we'll see what happens!	1.1067	0.04482	75	69	4	2
6722	Well, if it isn't budget cuts, what are you here for?	1.1067	0.04060	75	68	6	1
6723	If you don’t have insurance pay we have a new way to settle the bill. Are you familiar with Russian Roulette?	1.1061	0.03819	66	59	7	0
6724	We are refining our imaging techniques!	1.1061	0.04387	66	60	5	1
6725	It's a double-blind study, so results can't be guaranteed.	1.1061	0.04387	66	60	5	1
6726	Talk about being off your mark.	1.1061	0.03819	66	59	7	0
6727	I told you,I have the steadiest hand in the country.	1.1061	0.04387	66	60	5	1
6728	That explains your headaches!	1.1053	0.04101	57	51	6	0
6729	Well Mr. Carruthers, your nerves appear to be fine. Shall we move on to the DRE?	1.1053	0.04101	57	51	6	0
6730	I learned it through my third-eye: its aura-exo-surgery when there's nothing wrong with you physically, but you need to whack the hell out of your dark violet aura!	1.1053	0.04805	57	52	4	1
6731	I was in vaudeville before I became a surgeon.	1.1053	0.04101	57	51	6	0
6732	Research has shown that the success of most medical treatments is pure chance. This way at least we can both have a bit of a thrill.	1.1053	0.04101	57	51	6	0
6733	Just one more area to clear!	1.1053	0.03544	76	68	8	0
6734	Get rid of those dorky shoes and socks or I will.	1.1053	0.04101	57	51	6	0
6735	Some folks just have a certain aura?	1.1053	0.04008	76	69	6	1
6736	I know this many missed diagnosis can be frustrating, but I've got a feeling about this next one.	1.1053	0.03544	76	68	8	0
6737	OK? Just trust me. I’ve got one left. And it’s for your Prostate Cancer. It’ll only hurt a little.	1.1045	0.03765	67	60	7	0
6738	And now we need to get to the heart of the problem.	1.1045	0.03765	67	60	7	0
6739	We’ll need to wait for The Great Neurologist to read your results	1.1045	0.04324	67	61	5	1
6740	And now for lucky number thirteen!	1.1045	0.04324	67	61	5	1
6741	Of course medicine is not an exact science; sometimes a little practice helps.	1.1045	0.03765	67	60	7	0
6742	I'd say your recovery looks very good, even though this last knife has to be flung in between your legs.	1.1045	0.03765	67	60	7	0
6743	I think your anxiety issues are history.	1.1045	0.03765	67	60	7	0
6744	Oh,I have a side-hustle at the carnival to pay off my medical school debt.	1.1045	0.03765	67	60	7	0
6745	No, I said aim for the AORTA, not the aura.	1.1045	0.04324	67	61	5	1
6746	I’ve begun practicing a new experimental procedure to better my knife throwing.	1.1042	0.04456	48	43	5	0
6747	I was actually practicing a vasectomy	1.1039	0.03500	77	69	8	0
6748	There's only one other place for the knife, and we're NOT going there, 'mkay?!	1.1039	0.03500	77	69	8	0
6749	See, I've never lost a patient. So far. But who knows?	1.1039	0.03958	77	70	6	1
6750	It's important to trust your surgeon.	1.1039	0.03958	77	70	6	1
6751	You will notice that there are no knife marks within the silhouette Mr. Hanson, so I don’t think your reservations about this test are very well founded.	1.1034	0.04034	58	52	6	0
6752	Does this splitting image selfie make me look flat?	1.1034	0.05326	58	54	2	2
6753	Here's our cutting-edge gene splicer — it cures you in half the time.	1.1034	0.04034	58	52	6	0
6754	How about you take a stab at this…	1.1034	0.04034	58	52	6	0
6755	Length by width, huh doc	1.1034	0.04034	58	52	6	0
6756	Don't worry < I do 20 of these operationbs per week>	1.1029	0.04263	68	62	5	1
6757	May I call Guy Laliberté doctor for references?	1.1029	0.04263	68	62	5	1
6758	By the way, you won't need shoes where you're going.	1.1029	0.03713	68	61	7	0
6759	You’d be taking part in cutting edge medicine.	1.1029	0.04263	68	62	5	1
6760	… and so, I polled the audience. They thought I’d be good at surgery. You’re first.	1.1026	0.03457	78	70	8	0
6761	It depends on your perspective. Either I am very good with knives or I am a complete flop. Jerry Osborne Marietta Georgia	1.1026	0.03457	78	70	8	0
6762	Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! Behold! The latest and greatest in imaging technology! The CUT scan!	1.1026	0.03909	78	71	6	1
6763	Twelve out of thirteen doctors think you are perfectly safe.	1.1017	0.03969	59	53	6	0
6764	Right, there aren't any marks for those that missed, but...	1.1017	0.04647	59	54	4	1
6765	My credentials are impeccable	1.1017	0.03969	59	53	6	0
6766	I’d say the law of probability is not your friend.	1.1017	0.04647	59	54	4	1
6767	This beats my bedside manners score chart.	1.1017	0.03969	59	53	6	0
6768	Now ... where to jab the last knife?	1.1017	0.03969	59	53	6	0
6769	...and if you'll just stand right over here, this won't hurt a bit.	1.1014	0.04203	69	63	5	1
6770	These are my test scores.	1.1014	0.04203	69	63	5	1
6771	See? Precision. With every miss. And when I throw the scalpel, there's even more precision. I am so quick you won't even need anaesthesia!	1.1014	0.03661	69	62	7	0
6772	You've survived the easy part of treatment. Now comes the hard part.	1.1014	0.03661	69	62	7	0
6773	We ran out of our reflex hammers, as you can see.	1.1014	0.04203	69	63	5	1
6774	The ones that meat flesh do not show up!	1.1013	0.03416	79	71	8	0
6775	This test is only for our hyper-tension patients.	1.1000	0.03906	60	54	6	0
6776	CAT-Scans and MRIs are vague. For you, we need surgically incisive data.	1.1000	0.03375	80	72	8	0
6777	At the Hasbro School of Medicine, this is how we teach operating.	1.1000	0.04618	70	65	3	2
6778	So by using the logarithmic triple-squared sums of the average of the graph-points, we've scientifically determined the best place to operate.	1.1000	0.03906	60	54	6	0
6779	After we hit the last guy 13 times We figured he was lucky to survive. So we stopped.	1.1000	0.03906	60	54	6	0
6780	No need to worry Mr. Johnson. As you can see, I've become quite good with a scalpel.	1.1000	0.04572	60	55	4	1
6781	I think your butt would have been too enticing a target if you were facing the other way	1.1000	0.04572	60	55	4	1
6782	Why the anxiety? Things look fine. Curt Wyffels, Plymouth, MN	1.1000	0.03612	70	63	7	0
6783	I told you it was a bakers dozen.	1.1000	0.03906	60	54	6	0
6784	If it hits you, you win free medical care for a year, starting immediately!	1.1000	0.04286	50	45	5	0
6785	It's my patented never miss cure for aichmophobia	1.1000	0.03612	70	63	7	0
6786	I'm still a knife thrower but now I specialize in landing inside the target.	1.1000	0.03180	90	81	9	0
6787	If we wanted you to die we would have subtly created some kind of mass hysteria inducing existential threat to humanity causing you to voluntarily agree to be injected with an allegedly safe and effective, hastily produced, experimental drug.	1.1000	0.05151	50	46	3	1
6788	You need to wait 12 hours for the putty to dry.	1.1000	0.04145	70	64	5	1
6789	Lab tests were a success,and we are ready to begin human trials!	1.1000	0.03906	60	54	6	0
6790	Prostate surgery? I'm good, but you might want to consult with my Tonight Show colleague, Dr. Jay Silverheels?	1.1000	0.03612	70	63	7	0
6791	I specialize in skin tags, but I’ll assure you the adult circumcision is in my top five procedures”	1.1000	0.04145	70	64	5	1
6792	Well doctor, looking at your aiming skills I doubt that you are not competant enough to treat me.	1.1000	0.03906	60	54	6	0
6793	They say practice makes perfect so, we better keep trying	1.1000	0.03906	60	54	6	0
6794	The problem isn’t the knives. It’s that you have no heart.	1.0988	0.03336	81	73	8	0
6795	This is the procedure where I pay the patient.	1.0986	0.04089	71	65	5	1
6796	And this is where we use our cutting edge technology.	1.0986	0.04089	71	65	5	1
6797	It's all fun and games until your ex-wife is standing there.	1.0986	0.03563	71	64	7	0
6798	I excelled at Circus U Medical College.	1.0986	0.04089	71	65	5	1
6799	And now, for desert	1.0986	0.03563	71	64	7	0
6800	Your johnny is leaking	1.0984	0.04499	61	56	4	1
6801	As you can see, I built my fame as a surgeon who operates with perfect aim.	1.0984	0.03845	61	55	6	0
6802	Not to toot my own horn, but that's my body count.	1.0984	0.03845	61	55	6	0
6803	I hope this reassures you that your appendectomy is not my first rodeo.	1.0984	0.03845	61	55	6	0
6804	It just gives me something to do while you are meditating.	1.0980	0.04205	51	46	5	0
6805	Put THAT in your Yelp review.	1.0972	0.04034	72	66	5	1
6806	This just helps us see how cowardly you are.	1.0972	0.04034	72	66	5	1
6807	Is the math correct?	1.0972	0.04034	72	66	5	1
6808	Well, we were able to donate some blood	1.0972	0.03516	72	65	7	0
6809	OK now that your insurance has cleared..." by Andrew Chen Mathieson, Los Angeles, C	1.0968	0.03785	62	56	6	0
6810	I love this interactive art exhibit.	1.0968	0.03785	62	56	6	0
6811	Now I know where not to cut.	1.0968	0.03785	62	56	6	0
6812	Where is Dexter when you need him?	1.0964	0.03682	83	76	6	1
6813	Think of it as a magic portal to an uncertain future. [submitted by Bill Heuberger, Montclair, NJ]	1.0959	0.03470	73	66	7	0
6814	So this is where each of the surgeons will be positioned for your makeover	1.0959	0.03470	73	66	7	0
6815	It is the newest focal therapy for prostate cancer	1.0952	0.03728	63	57	6	0
6816	Great job. It's a little more fun than having a giant "E" up on the wall from fifty feet away.	1.0952	0.03728	63	57	6	0
6817	If you'd overcome your terror ...	1.0952	0.03728	63	57	6	0
6818	Well Doc you got a lucky cut.	1.0952	0.03728	63	57	6	0
6819	Now … show me where it hurts.	1.0952	0.03728	63	57	6	0
6820	He didn't have a rip running down the middle of his back	1.0952	0.03222	84	76	8	0
6821	I practice medicine, and, helping me practice knife throwing gets you a reduced fee...	1.0952	0.03728	63	57	6	0
6822	I had a tough time, deciding between radiography and the Navy SEALs assassination program.	1.0952	0.04361	63	58	4	1
6823	Now… Do I get to do your vasectomy?	1.0952	0.03728	63	57	6	0
6824	Welcome to Dexter’s Laboratory on Showtime.	1.0952	0.03728	63	57	6	0
6825	Trust me, I’m a surgeon	1.0952	0.04361	63	58	4	1
6826	O.k., no surgery for you.	1.0946	0.03929	74	68	5	1
6827	I just shove them in all nic6e and close. I doctor it.	1.0946	0.03425	74	67	7	0
6828	No thanks,I’m not that tall	1.0946	0.03929	74	68	5	1
6829	You only have to worry about your vasectomy surgery if you see a chalk outline on the floor. That would mean you got medical insurance provider assigned, Dr. Myopolus.	1.0946	0.03425	74	67	7	0
6830	Don't worry, I've have lot's of experience.	1.0943	0.04053	53	48	5	0
6831	We've been dodging some important things lately; time to get down to business	1.0943	0.04053	53	48	5	0
6832	Don’t worry. As you can see, I practice not hurting people every day!	1.0938	0.03672	64	58	6	0
6833	Brother, I think you chose the wrong career.	1.0938	0.03672	64	58	6	0
6834	So the reason you don’t see the one that went through your back is because there is still one knife remaining.	1.0938	0.03672	64	58	6	0
6835	I scored a perfect "score" in knife dexterity " in my training program so I hope that gives you confidence for tomorrow's operation	1.0933	0.03382	75	68	7	0
6836	Not deadly enough	1.0933	0.03382	75	68	7	0
6837	That's not how you're going to take out my spleen, is it?	1.0923	0.03618	65	59	6	0
6838	Just one more and I'll get it..	1.0923	0.04231	65	60	4	1
6839	Wow, I show you proof of my surgical skill and you talk to me of "Handprints in a cave"?	1.0921	0.04262	76	71	3	2
6840	We're going to do a test I like to call Knives Out.	1.0909	0.03912	55	50	5	0
6841	Didn’t we explain you’d be “going under the knife”?	1.0909	0.03566	66	60	6	0
6842	I promise tomorrow morning we will have a different surgical team assigned to you.	1.0909	0.04169	66	61	4	1
6843	I call it surgery without surgery... For you hypochondriacs	1.0909	0.03298	77	70	7	0
6844	Missed a spot.	1.0909	0.03298	77	70	7	0
6845	you do your job, I'll do mine.	1.0909	0.03566	66	60	6	0
6846	Your retirement plan seems to be working.	1.0909	0.03566	66	60	6	0
6847	Stand there and I’ll determine where to make the first incision.	1.0896	0.03515	67	61	6	0
6848	I'm not board-certified, but I have a lot of experience!	1.0896	0.03515	67	61	6	0
6849	Are you convinced I shall get to operate you now?	1.0896	0.03515	67	61	6	0
6850	And this is how we start your treatment for narcissistic personality.	1.0896	0.03515	67	61	6	0
6851	The experiment is going - uh, ok. The last guy couldn't give feedback on my knife skills after #13.	1.0893	0.03845	56	51	5	0
6852	My parents were circus performers. This way, they approved of me becoming a doctor.	1.0893	0.03845	56	51	5	0
6853	A dozen times you don't take my advice. Now I'm going to have to take action.	1.0893	0.03845	56	51	5	0
6854	Don’t worry, our cardiac surgeon uses gps directed scapels to replace your mitral valve	1.0893	0.03845	56	51	5	0
6855	Maybe I should wait until you guys finish training your thumbs on the keypad.	1.0882	0.04049	68	63	4	1
6856	No worries. I'm just practicing to be on that reality show. Wanna be my next assistant?	1.0882	0.03465	68	62	6	0
6857	You’ve passed the test to get a GP!	1.0882	0.03465	68	62	6	0
6858	Swarm of bees came through just as you went under. Lucky for you I’m a great shot.	1.0882	0.03465	68	62	6	0
6859	Nothing to fear, as you can I am very skilled with knives."	1.0877	0.03780	57	52	5	0
6860	I’m an even better surgeon.	1.0870	0.03417	69	63	6	0
6861	This is the easiest way to do surgery. I’ll eventually make it.	1.0862	0.03718	58	53	5	0
6862	It's surgery, without the incision...probably.	1.0862	0.03718	58	53	5	0
6863	Just hold your breath; this may sting a little.	1.0862	0.03718	58	53	5	0
6864	Well, I don't see any sign on twitching here. Perhaps next we can try the sword swallowing to check your internal results!	1.0862	0.03718	58	53	5	0
6865	No one’s appendicitis was ever cured by them.	1.0857	0.03370	70	64	6	0
6866	And as you can see from the data points, I haven’t lost a patient yet.	1.0847	0.03657	59	54	5	0
6867	That wall would have so many more holes in it, if it wasn't for Bob. So you said you're subbing for Joe this week?	1.0847	0.03657	59	54	5	0
6868	A Stormtrooper’s second career	1.0847	0.03657	59	54	5	0
6869	Dahm(er) it!	1.0845	0.03883	71	66	4	1
6870	You should see my bill for malpractice insurance.	1.0845	0.03883	71	66	4	1
6871	Quackery? Not if you're board-certified in Mazatlan, it isn't.	1.0833	0.03598	60	55	5	0
6872	They said "close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades".	1.0833	0.03598	60	55	5	0
6873	Cause of death: blunt force trauma.	1.0833	0.03830	72	67	4	1
6874	Think of it as just a slice of life!	1.0825	0.02808	97	89	8	0
6875	He says he is at the cutting edge of his craft	1.0822	0.03779	73	68	4	1
6876	This is how we determine if you were stationed at Camp Lejeune between 1953 and 1988. if so you could be owed significant compensation.	1.0822	0.03779	73	68	4	1
6877	I’ll just put on my blindfold and we’ll get the mole biopsy started.	1.0822	0.03779	73	68	4	1
6878	After one more shot you’ll be a not-hired-a lot doctor.	1.0822	0.03237	73	67	6	0
6879	You feel me?	1.0820	0.04243	61	57	3	1
6880	The invisible knife thrower is here somewhere. For your mission, you’ll have one last knife.	1.0820	0.03541	61	56	5	0
6881	The final dosage usually does the trick.	1.0820	0.03541	61	56	5	0
6882	It's a good idea to have a backup career if a malpractice suit is filed.	1.0820	0.03541	61	56	5	0
6883	Be my assistant and I'll forego the co-pay.	1.0820	0.04243	61	57	3	1
6884	I just don’t get modern art	1.0820	0.04243	61	57	3	1
6885	Strange. I never miss.	1.0811	0.03195	74	68	6	0
6886	I said it was one small incision,didn	1.0811	0.03729	74	69	4	1
6887	Told you, I was in the circus before joining here as a Doctor. You will never feel under the knife. I am that good!	1.0806	0.03486	62	57	5	0
6888	NOW will you reconsider lowering my malpractice premiums?	1.0800	0.03154	75	69	6	0
6889	99.9% of the knives don’t hit. With your help we might find the 0.01%	1.0794	0.04112	63	59	3	1
6890	I was just yesterday diagnosed with "Shaky Hand" syndrome. So I'm kinda eager to see if it affects my aim	1.0789	0.03114	76	70	6	0
6891	SEE, NOW ISN'T THIS "MUCH SAFER" THAN BEING A CRASH TEST DUMMY!!!	1.0781	0.04049	64	60	3	1
6892	Stand there and act like a president . NOW ! Never mind it's too late.	1.0769	0.03331	65	60	5	0
6893	You could opt for the traditional lie-down approach, but you give up any chance of a triple parlay win.	1.0769	0.03331	65	60	5	0
6894	I am trying this new 'quick-knife' vasectomy method and I almost have the technique down to 2 methods!..	1.0769	0.03037	78	72	6	0
6895	You are living on the knives edge	1.0769	0.04633	52	49	2	1
6896	Should have chosen lethal injection.	1.0758	0.03282	66	61	5	0
6897	"My technique was originally based on acupuncture. But this is MUCH less invasive!"	1.0758	0.03282	66	61	5	0
6898	This will finally snap you out of your sleep walking. Our success rate is 60 percent.	1.0758	0.03929	66	62	3	1
6899	And here are our placebo cutting board.	1.0755	0.03663	53	49	4	0
6900	That's what happens with silhouettes. Once you step in, I don't miss.	1.0750	0.02963	80	74	6	0
6901	...and that's why they call me Mac thr Knife.	1.0746	0.03235	67	62	5	0
6902	And you’ll notice that the data proves my point.	1.0741	0.04464	54	51	2	1
6903	Not a thing to worry about. I was with Doc Oz and then with The Hersch, for the Big Wave own the libtards Come Back . .	1.0735	0.03189	68	63	5	0
6904	Don't worry, my aim is much more precise	1.0735	0.03189	68	63	5	0
6905	The bionic bladder tests were progressing well	1.0727	0.03534	55	51	4	0
6906	But when do you ever have all the facts?	1.0725	0.03144	69	64	5	0
6907	Don't be concerned, it's all just a matter of percentages	1.0714	0.03473	56	52	4	0
6908	I keep getting closer to removing the tumor. Maybe treatment #13 will be lucky for me.	1.0704	0.03058	71	66	5	0
6909	Well...my diagnosis is that you are going to be my new target person at this weekend's physician talent show.	1.0704	0.03058	71	66	5	0
6910	Yes, we do bury our mistakes. However, your hermeneutic of suspicion does represent a potentially fatal distraction…	1.0704	0.03058	71	66	5	0
6911	Please don't be worried, you can see that I'm a good doctor.	1.0702	0.03413	57	53	4	0
6912	sure there are no more mistakes?	1.0694	0.03017	72	67	5	0
6913	Forged in Denial “, brought to you by bad decisions	1.0694	0.03017	72	67	5	0
6914	You choose anesthesia? Now I can tell you, the knives actually pop out from behind. Most pass out first throw.	1.0690	0.03356	58	54	4	0
6915	As you can see… it’s hard to cut away all your depression in one surgery.	1.0685	0.02977	73	68	5	0
6916	It's the "Spaghetti Challenge" on Tic Toc. When you're a Surgeon, everything sticks!	1.0678	0.03301	59	55	4	0
6917	You have a higher probability of getting hit with a throwing knife than beating cancer.	1.0678	0.03301	59	55	4	0
6918	Try to think of your surgery as a kind of game.	1.0667	0.03247	60	56	4	0
6919	Actually, we are also a circus school.	1.0667	0.03247	60	56	4	0
6920	This indicates an unwillingness to focus on the task at hand.	1.0667	0.03247	60	56	4	0
6921	This bodes well for me doing your upcoming surgery.	1.0667	0.03247	60	56	4	0
6922	Sakuya Izayoi is the Chief Maid at the Scarlet Devil Mansion. She works for her mistress, Remilia Scarlet, and is apparently the only human working and living within the mansion. She has the power to manipulate time, and is known to place knives in m	1.0658	0.02863	76	71	5	0
6923	Don’t worry, it’s one of those non-invasive procedures	1.0656	0.03196	61	57	4	0
6924	Musked Out	1.0656	0.03196	61	57	4	0
6925	Think of it as plastic surgery for your aura	1.0656	0.03196	61	57	4	0
6926	Fake Science” is vastly overrated	1.0645	0.03145	62	58	4	0
6927	Just imagine if the outline was black representing BLM .. no one would missed knowing they embezzled millions and millions off black individuals being killed	1.0625	0.03050	64	60	4	0
6928	I think the forensics guys did a great job drawing the outline. And even better, it's just your size.	1.0615	0.03719	65	62	2	1
6929	With an ass as big as yours, I don't know how I could've missed.	1.0615	0.03004	65	61	4	0
6930	Dr. Sharp completes his residency at the carnival. Patients, step right up.	1.0615	0.03004	65	61	4	0
6931	and they got all of you	1.0606	0.02960	66	62	4	0
6932	As you can see, out techniques are completely safe.	1.0588	0.02875	68	64	4	0
6933	Yes, it’s quite good, but did I say that we were finished?	1.0577	0.03265	52	49	3	0
6934	...Because I failed my surgery residency,	1.0571	0.02794	70	66	4	0
6935	Luckily Mr. Ramsey has terrible aim, just try to make that lamb sauce faster next time	1.0566	0.03205	53	50	3	0
6936	...so, after that last fiasco, I said to myself, "Surgery. Now that's the profession for you!" That's when I enrolled at Barnum & Baily's School of Medicine.	1.0548	0.02682	73	69	4	0
6937	Trust, Mr. Alvarez, is the cornerstone of the doctor patient-relationship. So the question is, how much do you trust me?	1.0526	0.02984	57	54	3	0
6938	I trained in sideshow surgery.	1.0508	0.02885	59	56	3	0
6939	The previous patient needed a lot of incisions.	1.0500	0.02837	60	57	3	0
6940	So close but no prize!	1.0484	0.02747	62	59	3	0
6941	You can get that, or I can offer you assisted suicide. Your socialist healthcare at its best. But if you want socialism, you deserve to die anyway, you commie bastard.	1.0448	0.02546	67	64	3	0
6942	I guarantee 100 percent survival with treatment	1.0435	0.02473	69	66	3	0
6943	And this is our pre-op area.	1.0408	0.02856	49	47	2	0
6944	Your BMI is within the recommended range.	1.0317	0.02227	63	61	2	0

Contest #833

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