Contest #825


Cartoon

825

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Thanks for carving out a little face time.”
  2. "Just remember, you can be empty-headed and orange and still succeed in America."
  3. "So where do you see yourselves three days from now?"


Name Value
Submission deadline 2022-10-30T19:42:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2022-11-13T20:42:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2022-11-07T20:42:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued November 14, 2022
Number of captions 8175
Number of responses 808863
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Just remember, you can be empty headed and orange and still succeed in America. 1.9694 0.01557 3107 1218 766 1123
1 Thanks for carving out a little face time.” 1.8490 0.01316 3840 1611 1198 1031
2 First the good news. Nobody's getting canned.” 1.8337 0.01237 4233 1781 1375 1077
3 So, where do you see yourselves, three days from now? 1.8302 0.01266 3975 1661 1328 986
4 As part of our diversity initiative, Mr. Potato Head will be joining the board. 1.8285 0.01788 2082 902 635 545
5 Great news. We now have a dental plan! 1.8281 0.01521 2792 1183 906 703
6 There’s no sugarcoating it. Our prospects after November are rotten. 1.8208 0.01548 2545 1045 911 589
7 Anyone care to illuminate me? 1.8194 0.01483 2630 1041 1023 566
8 Let’s get through the office party tonight without anyone getting smashed. 1.8147 0.01263 3885 1630 1345 910
9 I just love to see your faces light up. 1.8136 0.01416 2902 1165 1113 624
10 Anyone planning on getting lit tonight? 1.8081 0.01593 2356 973 862 521
11 I'm sorry to say that some of you are going to be canned. 1.7953 0.01369 3243 1385 1137 721
12 Gentlemen, you'll be pleased to know today's pie is pecan. 1.7929 0.01523 2617 1121 917 579
13 At the end of this month, you're all getting canned. 1.7910 0.01422 3019 1303 1044 672
14 I apologize for making you all a bit uneasy. Perhaps "smashing success" was a poor choice of words. 1.7837 0.01515 2617 1130 923 564
15 We're ending the work-from-the-porch policy. 1.7772 0.01438 2936 1291 1008 637
16 Listen, the bottom line is, it takes guts, and you guys just dont have it in you. 1.7768 0.01604 2357 1036 811 510
17 I told you the work was seasonal when you started. 1.7753 0.01603 2256 964 835 457
18 Gentlemen, I brought you here because you’re the best in your field. 1.7674 0.02105 1350 597 470 283
19 That’s right, Jack, we’re all getting canned. 1.7612 0.01516 2609 1168 896 545
20 I’m afraid we’re going to have to make a few more cuts. 1.7581 0.01564 2294 988 873 433
21 Let's turn those frowns into smiles. Who has a knife? 1.7574 0.01517 2543 1127 906 510
22 And then a candle went off in my head… 1.7471 0.01845 1811 845 579 387
23 The shareholders are complaining about a lack of diversity. 1.7464 0.01464 2744 1243 954 547
24 I know putting on a good face will be hard for many of you. 1.7428 0.01452 2675 1186 991 498
25 Before anyone asks: yes, I had some work done, and yes, it makes me happy. 1.7419 0.01645 2255 1054 729 472
26 Heads up. I'm afraid we are going to have to make some additional cuts. 1.7415 0.01880 1640 742 580 318
27 After the meeting, let's all go out and get smashed. 1.7403 0.01765 2010 958 616 436
28 Let’s welcome our newest board member — also named Jack. 1.7342 0.02099 1343 623 454 266
29 The good news is we’re having a Halloween office party. The bad news is we’re gonna need pies. 1.7337 0.01552 2557 1218 802 537
30 Yes, I had some work done. 1.7313 0.01497 2654 1241 885 528
31 you ALL dressed as trump? 1.7301 0.01852 1901 945 524 432
32 I’ll need that pie chart by the end of the month. 1.7268 0.01581 2343 1093 797 453
33 I’m sorry, but you’re all getting canned. 1.7268 0.02318 1131 540 360 231
34 It brings me no joy to say this but very few of you will make it through November. 1.7252 0.01723 1994 939 664 391
35 I know it's Monday but I just can't get this smile off my face. 1.7215 0.01822 1727 802 604 321
36 Enough with the jokes about pie charts. 1.7203 0.01717 1952 911 676 365
37 From the looks on your faces I think we need to carve out a new strategy 1.7184 0.01643 2099 973 744 382
38 Heads are going to roll. 1.7172 0.01645 2058 946 748 364
39 What can I say? I was cut out for this job! 1.7138 0.02210 1188 563 402 223
40 Sad to say, but the lot of you won't make it past the end of the month. 1.7087 0.01831 1648 765 598 285
41 I’m here to lite a fire inside all of you 1.7065 0.01773 1714 787 643 284
42 Empty-headed, yes, but with an inner light. 1.7030 0.01858 1623 767 571 285
43 Gentlemen, look around. This time next week, half of you will be gone. 1.7017 0.01898 1569 747 543 279
44 Face it, not everyone is cut out for this type of work. 1.6991 0.01935 1439 669 534 236
45 Anyone have thoughts on how we remain relevant the other eleven months of the year 1.6979 0.01920 1493 704 536 253
46 Well, yes, Jack, I do anticipate layoffs come November. 1.6978 0.01908 1486 694 547 245
47 All in favor of switching to LED lights, raise your hand. 1.6953 0.01947 1444 682 520 242
48 I'm not sure you guys are cut out for this job. 1.6947 0.01941 1415 659 529 227
49 Now, which one of you is Jack? 1.6938 0.02043 1398 687 452 259
50 You will all be canned by the end of next month. 1.6906 0.02137 1335 677 394 264
51 I'm pleased to announce that we are now offering a dental plan. 1.6853 0.02187 1249 631 380 238
52 Concerns have been raised about diversity. 1.6823 0.02395 1048 534 313 201
53 And in the ‘scary swollen orange head’ category, once again we have been beaten by Donald Trump. 1.6750 0.02452 1086 588 263 235
54 Next on the agenda: staff requests for a new dental plan… 1.6734 0.02327 1044 521 343 180
55 Unfortunately, we have to make more cuts 1.6731 0.02368 982 483 337 162
56 It's the big weekend - let's get smashed! 1.6728 0.02272 1039 504 371 164
57 We'll be looking at a series of pie charts. 1.6667 0.02557 897 462 272 163
58 After the meeting is over, let's all go out and get smashed. 1.6660 0.02535 958 508 262 188
59 Thank you all for carving out some time to meet 1.6641 0.02436 917 455 315 147
60 Let's be clear. I can replace all of you as easy as pie. 1.6641 0.02403 914 446 329 139
61 Starting November first, heads are going to roll. 1.6621 0.02492 953 497 281 175
62 You're going to be restructured. We've already canned your boss. 1.6599 0.02511 882 446 290 146
63 The future is ours -- but only for about two weeks." 1.6594 0.02417 872 421 327 124
64 I’m announcing that I’m transitioning from Jack to Jacqueline 1.6579 0.02560 915 484 260 171
65 I'd like to know which one of you forgot the pie charts? 1.6571 0.02513 875 443 289 143
66 I expect that by the fourth quarter all our faces will be lighting up. 1.6560 0.02500 846 419 299 128
67 So, I guess brainstorming is out…. 1.6555 0.02606 839 433 262 144
68 Due to the pending acquisition, several of you will have to be canned. 1.6531 0.02682 810 425 241 144
69 All of you are going to be canned. 1.6501 0.02634 823 429 253 141
70 You will all be staying for the compost meeting. 1.6480 0.02698 784 410 240 134
71 Wait… is there anybody here NOT named Jack? 1.6466 0.02633 781 398 261 122
72 Alright fellas, we’re going to have to make cuts somewhere. 1.6451 0.02822 696 360 223 113
73 Our new health plan includes dental. 1.6450 0.02733 783 417 227 139
74 None of you has any guts. 1.6436 0.02813 724 382 218 124
75 Come on, we’ve all faced cuts before. 1.6426 0.02596 831 434 260 137
76 We're done here. Now let's go get lit. 1.6420 0.02802 743 397 215 131
77 First order: Gourdon, have you prepared the pie chart? 1.6407 0.02799 757 409 211 137
78 As some of you may have heard, we had to let Peter Peter go 1.6405 0.02903 701 378 197 126
79 Call me Jack please. Mr. O’Lantern was my father. 1.6379 0.02849 696 368 212 116
80 My next bit of news should make your faces all light up. 1.6370 0.02731 730 379 237 114
81 We’re facing some further cuts. 1.6338 0.02834 650 332 224 94
82 No, you all can't take Halloween off. 1.6323 0.03575 446 239 132 75
83 Unfortunately, we're going to have to make more cuts. 1.6280 0.02903 664 355 201 108
84 I heard your concerns and I want you to know you can all rest easy now. Peter-Peter has been fired. 1.6263 0.03173 586 323 159 104
85 We need to rebrand. Focus groups think Jack O’Lantern sounds too Irish. 1.6263 0.02874 693 376 200 117
86 We’ll skip the pie charts. 1.6250 0.03175 592 329 156 107
87 The good news is that this holiday is about candy. The bad news is that the next one is about pie. 1.6248 0.03139 613 343 157 113
88 'A board of reindeer will replace us on November 1.' 1.6246 0.03044 602 323 182 97
89 Then, we all agree we’ll never use pie charts. 1.6219 0.03077 603 329 173 101
90 I am going to keep tossing out ideas until I see someone's face light up! 1.6204 0.03301 540 300 145 95
91 The job is seasonal. 1.6195 0.03177 544 292 167 85
92 Good news Gentlemen, we are offering a full dental plan beginning November 1. 1.6195 0.03075 586 316 177 93
93 I was only kidding about the pie charts. 1.6193 0.02984 675 380 172 123
94 If we just put our heads together, I'm sure we'll come up with a great Thanksgiving dessert. 1.6170 0.03066 577 309 180 88
95 Good news. We are getting a Dental Plan. 1.6164 0.03199 610 352 140 118
96 Why can't anyone tell when I'm being serious? 1.6161 0.03108 560 300 175 85
97 As you may have heard, we’re being acquired by Mr. Potato Head. 1.6130 0.03285 540 302 145 93
98 It's just Jack Lantern. There's no Irish in my family. 1.6127 0.03211 519 278 164 77
99 You're all being canned! 1.6125 0.03242 529 289 156 84
100 I’d like to bring in a consultant. His name is Peter Peter….something or other. 1.6102 0.03429 508 289 128 91
101 Next week, two of us will be replaced by a female hubbard squash and a nonbinary rutabaga. 1.6091 0.03347 504 279 143 82
102 They're saying we won't make it to the end of November. 1.6087 0.03155 529 283 170 76
103 It’s that time of the year where we need to discuss making some cuts. 1.6076 0.03136 497 257 178 62
104 I apologize. I wasn't aware of the layoffs when I carved my face this morning. 1.6075 0.03344 507 282 142 83
105 We tend to have a rotten November. 1.6067 0.03267 506 275 155 76
106 Everybody in favor of apple pie for desert, say Aye. 1.6065 0.03337 526 298 137 91
107 Let’s go around and do introductions. I’m Jack. 1.6056 0.03091 568 310 172 86
108 Okay, guys, just relax! No one's getting canned. 1.6054 0.03325 522 294 140 88
109 The rumors are true, October 31 is our last day. 1.6052 0.03385 504 284 135 85
110 Don't look so sad, everyone Only one of you is being canned. 1.6050 0.03297 481 258 155 68
111 If sales don’t pick up soon, you’re all going to get canned. 1.5974 0.03406 462 254 140 68
112 Good news! Peter Peter is dead! 1.5920 0.03694 451 268 99 84
113 It’s called ‘trickle-treat-down economics’. 1.5909 0.03513 440 246 128 66
114 I'm afraid there will be additional cuts made. 1.5888 0.03482 428 235 134 59
115 We’ve carved out a new benefits package that includes dental. 1.5871 0.03541 419 232 128 59
116 I'm the only one cut out for this position. 1.5869 0.03408 443 243 140 60
117 I’ll try and keep this brief. I realize we all have front porches to get home to. 1.5866 0.03514 433 242 128 63
118 Despite our spirited efforts, the Smashing Pumpkins are still a band. 1.5844 0.03383 450 248 141 61
119 My apologies - I shouldn’t have used a pie chart. 1.5839 0.03688 423 246 107 70
120 I see good pumpkins in this room. But I don't see a great pumpkin. 1.5833 0.03666 408 232 114 62
121 Clearly, our efforts in diversity are failing. 1.5827 0.03599 393 216 125 52
122 I'm just as upset as you are. I'm just carved this way. 1.5812 0.03354 437 237 146 54
123 Welcoming our new members Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack and Jack.” 1.5804 0.03529 491 296 105 90
124 It's like a light just went on in my head." 1.5799 0.03654 388 216 119 53
125 Clearly, none of you are cut out for this job. 1.5794 0.03555 378 203 131 44
126 Unfortunately, we need to make a few more cuts. 1.5780 0.03449 391 208 140 43
127 Enough of this! Put on a happy face. I'll pass out the knives. 1.5780 0.03814 372 212 105 55
128 - Now…when I turn off the lights we’ll see who’s got the great idea! 1.5774 0.03348 433 235 146 52
129 The important thing is to keep a cool head through the end of the month. Then its the turkeys' turn to worry. 1.5768 0.03566 371 199 130 42
130 Most of you will be gone by November. 1.5767 0.03786 378 216 106 56
131 I smell pumpkin spice. Who farted? 1.5744 0.03944 383 230 86 67
132 I'm instituting a new dental plan! 1.5740 0.03700 392 224 111 57
133 Jack was canned this morning. 1.5714 0.03617 399 226 118 55
134 Gentlemen, let me begin by stating the obvious: diversity is an issue amongst our ranks. 1.5690 0.03939 348 201 96 51
135 And I don't want to hear about any of you going out on Halloween and getting smashed. 1.5682 0.03742 403 238 101 64
136 Once again, this year’s Halloween costume contest has ended in a tie. 1.5663 0.03597 392 221 120 51
137 Instead of layoffs.. think of it as a changing of the gourd! 1.5660 0.03770 371 213 106 52
138 Effective November 1st, you are all terminated. 1.5659 0.03766 364 207 108 49
139 Team, my apologies, but we still don't have a dental plan. 1.5646 0.03735 395 232 103 60
140 What are you grinning about, Jack? 1.5645 0.03783 349 196 109 44
141 Let's face it, gentlemen. It's 2022. Jill o'Lanterns should be considered for the board. 1.5642 0.03526 413 235 123 55
142 Enough work for today, who is ready to get lit? 1.5639 0.03860 360 209 99 52
143 There’s pie in the break room 1.5636 0.03629 385 218 117 50
144 I may be smiling on the outside but - just like you - I feel empty on the inside 1.5623 0.03947 345 201 94 50
145 I want you to start calling me Jacqueline. 1.5617 0.04098 324 190 86 48
146 Our projections—let’s just say November doesn’t look good for us. 1.5600 0.03899 325 183 102 40
147 It's nice to be part of a board that isn't all-white. 1.5600 0.03923 325 184 100 41
148 You all knew November would come eventually. 1.5595 0.03963 336 195 94 47
149 I’m afraid we have to make more cuts. 1.5549 0.03678 346 192 116 38
150 Before we begin, a moment of silence for everyone we’ve lost to pumpkin spice lattes. 1.5549 0.04085 328 195 84 49
151 Not you, Jack, the other Jack. 1.5545 0.03951 330 191 95 44
152 Illuminate me. 1.5545 0.03489 422 244 122 56
153 Last quarter's results were frightening. So, obviously, some heads must roll. 1.5542 0.03920 323 184 99 40
154 Sorry to tell you this but I had to can Jack. 1.5541 0.03783 370 217 101 52
155 We need this meeting like we need another hole in our heads, but here goes.... 1.5499 0.04044 351 215 79 57
156 Let’s adjourn. We have to get out for some turkeys coming in next. 1.5496 0.03781 373 221 99 53
157 The holidays are right around the corner, so some of you will be canned. 1.5493 0.03804 355 207 101 47
158 C’mon, I gotta light a fire in you guys! 1.5485 0.03977 330 194 91 45
159 One of you is being investigated for in-cider trading. 1.5477 0.04071 325 194 84 47
160 My only rule for presentations is no pie charts 1.5475 0.04376 305 189 65 51
161 Let's break for pie. 1.5472 0.03919 318 182 98 38
162 Hate to say, but you're all about to be canned. 1.5472 0.03778 371 220 99 52
163 Don't make me get out the pie charts again. 1.5449 0.04153 312 187 80 45
164 Expect more cuts.” 1.5444 0.03929 338 200 92 46
165 I’m not happy. I’m just carved this way. 1.5443 0.03863 327 188 100 39
166 ...after the holidays more cuts will have to be made. 1.5440 0.03944 307 175 97 35
167 We’re gonna need you to start burning the candle at both ends. 1.5435 0.03705 322 178 113 31
168 I'm sorry to announce that October 31 will be your last day. 1.5422 0.03850 367 222 91 54
169 What can I do to light a fire in you guys? 1.5417 0.04104 312 186 83 43
170 Clearly, the diversity initiative isn't working. 1.5414 0.04018 338 205 83 50
171 Pumpkin spice this Pumpkin spice that, we need to get a piece of this action 1.5410 0.03798 329 188 104 37
172 Come November 1st, you'll all be canned. 1.5407 0.04282 307 189 70 48
173 Our future, gentlemen, is plastics. 1.5402 0.04090 311 185 84 42
174 If you're vaccinated, you don't have to wear a pumpkin. 1.5401 0.04321 287 173 73 41
175 I’ve decided it’s time to bring in some new faces. 1.5377 0.04238 292 175 77 40
176 You're looking at me like I'm out of my gourd. 1.5375 0.04027 307 180 89 38
177 Welcome to our new gourdroom! 1.5370 0.04439 270 163 69 38
178 We need to hollow out upper management before we're ALL canned! 1.5363 0.04243 289 173 77 39
179 Well,the good news is if we all put our heads together we can get almost a dozen pies. 1.5358 0.03661 349 200 111 38
180 I see you all got the memo. 1.5344 0.04021 305 179 89 37
181 Morning Jack, hey Jack, hi Jack, Jack, always good to see you. Jack, is that you I see down there? 1.5333 0.04098 300 178 84 38
182 Sorry gentlemen, we will be making some additional cuts 1.5329 0.03981 289 165 94 30
183 Any ideas about how to carve out a better image? 1.5326 0.04250 291 176 75 40
184 We're going to be making some cuts. 1.5312 0.03900 288 162 99 27
185 It's a simple choice. Either bring the pie or be the pie. 1.5308 0.04440 260 156 70 34
186 I see a lot of me in all of you. 1.5304 0.03866 313 181 98 34
187 Our next presentation will be a pie chart. 1.5298 0.04238 302 186 72 44
188 And I promise you, all of you will get a piece of the pie here 1.5296 0.04248 253 145 82 26
189 Its been a productive meeting, now, lets go out and get smashed! 1.5282 0.04331 284 174 70 40
190 Sponsoring a squash tournament is just right for our brand! 1.5280 0.04396 250 147 74 29
191 Where’s Jack? 1.5268 0.04256 298 184 71 43
192 They knew the risk. If you're not at the table, you're on the menu. 1.5267 0.04189 281 167 80 34
193 Why the long faces? You knew more cuts were coming. 1.5265 0.04390 264 159 71 34
194 Turns out "empty headed" isn't a compliment. 1.5261 0.04590 249 152 63 34
195 The good news is we've been acquired by Elon Musk. The bad news is that we're about to be canned. 1.5260 0.04358 289 180 66 43
196 What? Now we have to hire a Jill-O-Lantern? 1.5258 0.04278 310 196 65 49
197 I will be staying on with the company. The rest of you will be carved-out." 1.5208 0.04456 240 142 71 27
198 We're going to have to let most of you go come November 1st. 1.5208 0.04495 240 143 69 28
199 Some of you will be squashed, some of you will be souped up, some of you will be gouged out and some will shine like a beacon in a stormy night, but just remember, Pumpkin Inc is proud of you all and your service to the community. 1.5206 0.03928 315 188 90 37
200 Good news. We've hired a diversity consultant! 1.5204 0.04022 294 174 87 33
201 I don’t think anyone here has the guts! 1.5182 0.04438 247 148 70 29
202 It’s good to be back in the office. I couldn’t tell any of you apart on Zoom. 1.5162 0.04476 277 176 59 42
203 Thank you for carving out face time. 1.5158 0.04322 285 178 67 40
204 Whoever brought pumpkin pie to the last meeting—not funny. 1.5154 0.04509 260 162 62 36
205 In keeping with our corporate image, we've eliminated the dental plan... 1.5146 0.04302 274 168 71 35
206 With pumpkin pie season upon us, all employee life insurance policies will be terminated effective immediately. 1.5144 0.04194 278 168 77 33
207 One of you could not wait for “stemless” Friday. 1.5142 0.04512 247 151 65 31
208 Who here thinks they can be the new face of the company? 1.5133 0.04445 226 132 72 22
209 Heads will roll come November 1st. 1.5131 0.04224 267 160 77 30
210 We're going to be losing a lot of you this November. 1.5128 0.04582 234 142 64 28
211 The quarterlies are good, but some heads have to roll. 1.5108 0.03906 278 160 94 24
212 It’s just Jack Lantern now. I’m dropping the O. 1.5105 0.04655 237 147 59 31
213 Jack, we’ve heard enough from you and Jack today. Let’s give Jack the floor. 1.5094 0.04191 267 160 78 29
214 When I say, Go!, pass your head to the person on your right. 1.5080 0.04613 250 158 57 35
215 We need to act quickly here before we turn into compost. 1.5076 0.04052 264 154 86 24
216 I really appreciate everyone carving out time for this meeting 1.5063 0.04460 237 143 68 26
217 It looks like we have some new faces. 1.5058 0.04380 257 158 68 31
218 It’s come to my attention we need a better dental plan 1.5058 0.04584 257 164 56 37
219 You’ll be relieved to know that Peter is no longer with the company. 1.5056 0.04637 267 175 49 43
220 I regret to inform you that we’re gonna need to make some cuts 1.5045 0.04563 224 135 65 24
221 The company needs to bring in some fresh faces. 1.5040 0.04136 250 146 82 22
222 You heard me correctly. Heads. Will. Roll. 1.5040 0.04508 250 156 62 32
223 I just want the person who pinned the pumpkin pie recipe to my office door to know I don't think it was funny. 1.5020 0.04537 253 160 59 34
224 Stay indoors with your doors locked and we will reconvene on November 1st. 1.5018 0.04100 281 171 79 31
225 Let's hear from Jack. 1.5000 0.04314 248 150 72 26
226 Don't look so glum. We've survived another Halloween. 1.5000 0.04951 206 129 51 26
227 Bad news, we terminated Jerry. Good news, there'll be pumpkin pie at lunch! 1.5000 0.04735 224 140 56 28
228 I see you're all cut out for this job. 1.5000 0.04436 250 155 65 30
229 Welcome to our anual meeting. It’s great to see so many familiar faces here again. 1.5000 0.04594 216 130 64 22
230 We have a diversity problem. 1.4980 0.04387 251 155 67 29
231 Thanks for leaving your patches on such short notice. 1.4979 0.04364 235 141 71 23
232 Corporate's looking for some new faces 1.4978 0.04404 229 137 70 22
233 There's no easy way to say this, but you're all getting canned! 1.4978 0.04793 223 141 53 29
234 Once again, I direct your attention to the pie chart behind me. 1.4976 0.04673 211 128 61 22
235 All in favor of removing the mask mandate, say 'aye'. 1.4976 0.04850 209 130 54 25
236 Back when I started this company, we used to have guts. 1.4962 0.04458 264 169 59 36
237 We finally have a dental plan. 1.4938 0.04494 243 152 62 29
238 Good morning gentlemen. The first topic will be a report on the company's Cultural Diversity campaign. 1.4938 0.04286 241 145 73 23
239 Sooo....our diversity numbers aren't great." 1.4928 0.04606 209 126 63 20
240 First, I'm sure we all agree that we've been through a rough patch." 1.4917 0.04273 242 146 73 23
241 Welcome to our first seminar on the importance of diversity in the workplace. 1.4913 0.04433 230 140 67 23
242 Some of you won’t be returning after the holidays. 1.4911 0.04606 224 139 60 25
243 Gentlemen I regret to inform you that on October 31st,heads are going to roll. 1.4910 0.04976 222 146 43 33
244 You will all be glad to hear that we have decided to terminate Peter Peter. 1.4909 0.05011 220 145 42 33
245 Let‘s talk about diversity in the workplace… 1.4906 0.04798 212 133 54 25
246 Most of you won’t even be here a month from now. 1.4906 0.04656 212 130 60 22
247 Unfortunately, most of you will not make it to the next quarter. 1.4897 0.04642 243 157 53 33
248 HR says we have a diversity problem. 1.4890 0.04687 227 144 55 28
249 Thank you all for carving out time to be here. 1.4885 0.04624 217 134 60 23
250 This October board meeting will be our last one . 1.4865 0.04766 222 142 52 28
251 Are we in agreement - no further cuts ? 1.4865 0.04548 222 137 62 23
252 Yes, candles. 1.4864 0.04799 220 141 51 28
253 The rumors are true, our first Jill o Lantern diversity hire starts on Monday. 1.4861 0.04450 216 130 67 19
254 Thank you for carving out some time to meet today 1.4858 0.04509 212 128 65 19
255 Whatsay after this meeting we all go get smashed? 1.4854 0.04901 206 131 50 25
256 You'll be glad to know that your new health insurance covers dental! 1.4852 0.04578 237 151 57 29
257 HR has said that we need more diversity. 1.4846 0.04687 227 145 54 28
258 Please carve a happy face when we meet with our investors next week. 1.4845 0.05128 194 125 44 25
259 Who’s the soon to be former employee that ordered the pumpkin lattes? 1.4837 0.05282 184 119 41 24
260 I’m bringing in a new consultant named Peter. 1.4837 0.05111 184 116 47 21
261 Well gents, times are changing. Looks like the public really wants a JILL O’Lantern. 1.4837 0.05226 184 118 43 23
262 We will no longer be using pie charts. 1.4836 0.04917 213 138 47 28
263 We're transferring some of you to the pie division. 1.4834 0.04671 211 131 58 22
264 I'm worried that many of you are suffering from burnout." 1.4833 0.04896 209 134 49 26
265 Okay, It's agreed. Peter Peter won't be allowed on the Board. 1.4829 0.05156 205 136 39 30
266 Unfortunately our facial recognition system wasn’t able to detect the culprit 1.4829 0.05015 205 133 45 27
267 Now that the numbers are in, Jason, could you show us your pie chart? 1.4823 0.04488 226 140 63 23
268 Sorry, but it looks like we're going to have to make further cuts 1.4821 0.05003 195 124 48 23
269 The new raises should put a smile on all your faces!!! 1.4818 0.04392 220 133 68 19
270 I’ve been informed the curse will end when we stop making pumpkin spice products. 1.4815 0.04909 216 141 46 29
271 I've decided to let you all go on November 1st 1.4813 0.04623 214 133 59 22
272 You don't know Jack. 1.4802 0.04880 177 107 55 15
273 I'm sure you're all wondering why I'm the only one carved with a smile. 1.4800 0.04502 225 140 62 23
274 We're cutting dental 1.4796 0.05087 196 127 44 25
275 O k, it's decided. Turkey, cranberries, mashed potatoes and stuffing for dinner. Now I need some volunteers for the pie. 1.4793 0.04804 217 140 50 27
276 Next on the agenda; I’ve prepared a pie chart. 1.4791 0.04746 215 137 53 25
277 We finally got dental coverage! 1.4790 0.04562 238 153 56 29
278 We had a very good quarter. Each one of you will get to be a piece of the pie. 1.4789 0.04343 213 127 70 16
279 I’m concerned about this Peter Peter fellow. 1.4787 0.05042 211 140 41 30
280 I think I've finally carved out a plan that will squash our competition." 1.4785 0.05126 186 119 45 22
281 I’m going to need you to carve out some time this weekend. 1.4780 0.04770 205 129 54 22
282 The good news is, we’ve been bought out by Apple. 1.4780 0.05092 182 115 47 20
283 The way things are going we'll all be gone by the end of the month 1.4767 0.05250 193 128 38 27
284 Will the stemless member please leave the meeting? 1.4764 0.04702 212 134 55 23
285 I'm afraid many of us won't be here next month. 1.4760 0.04313 229 140 69 20
286 Peter Peter will be conducting your year-end reviews. 1.4752 0.04922 202 130 48 24
287 The next one who says 'you don't know Jack" will be fired." 1.4742 0.04916 213 140 45 28
288 There have been absurd charges that this boardroom lacks diversity. 1.4741 0.04649 232 151 52 29
289 But good news is that in about a month, none of us are going to care much anyway. 1.4740 0.05166 192 126 41 25
290 So it looks like we are going to have to make some additional cuts. 1.4737 0.04929 171 104 53 14
291 We are not downsizing, we are “composting”. 1.4734 0.04784 207 132 52 23
292 Elon will be replacing me with a musk melon. 1.4734 0.04929 207 135 46 26
293 Take away the big chair and the permanent smile and I'm no different than any of you. 1.4734 0.05249 188 124 39 25
294 I don't see that fire in some of your eyes anymore.. 1.4723 0.04644 235 154 51 30
295 We’ll keep brainstorming until a light goes on in one of our heads. 1.4721 0.04804 197 124 53 20
296 So who wants to begin? Jack? 1.4712 0.04516 208 128 62 18
297 Gentlemen, light your candles. 1.4703 0.04850 185 115 53 17
298 Per your request, Peter Peter was not invited to this meeting. 1.4693 0.05390 179 119 36 24
299 I’m afraid we have to make a few more cuts 1.4692 0.04668 211 134 55 22
300 You do know, orthodontics is part of our health plan. 1.4672 0.06288 122 79 29 14
301 These are just seasonal cuts 1.4670 0.04581 197 121 60 16
302 I bet he wishes he hadn’t worn his smile head today. 1.4667 0.04485 210 130 62 18
303 What happened to the fire in your eyes? 1.4653 0.04555 202 125 60 17
304 There’s no easy way to say this. You’re all headed for the compost pile. 1.4652 0.04930 187 119 49 19
305 I call this gourd-of-directors meeting to order. 1.4650 0.04956 200 131 45 24
306 Unfortunately, recent political polls tell us the average American is sick of seeing orange men in office 1.4648 0.05133 213 147 33 33
307 The board think we have no guts 1.4645 0.04762 183 113 55 15
308 He talks to us as if we’re all empty-headed here 1.4630 0.05264 162 103 43 16
309 As you can see from the pie chart, our days are numbered. 1.4628 0.05024 188 122 45 21
310 Here's the scoop, some of you are not cut out to work here. 1.4611 0.05297 193 132 33 28
311 Our market research confirms that orange is the new black. 1.4611 0.05188 180 118 41 21
312 Good news! I’ve been named chairman of the gourd. 1.4602 0.05214 176 115 41 20
313 I know work-life balance is difficult this time of year… 1.4602 0.05151 176 114 43 19
314 Starting November 1st, some of you may be transferring to our pie department. 1.4602 0.04654 226 149 50 27
315 Don't take it personally, every fall pretty much everyone gets canned. 1.4601 0.04727 213 139 50 24
316 Hey you! You, without your stem. This is NOT casual Friday. 1.4597 0.04854 211 140 45 26
317 Nobody is smiling. I’m gonna have to make some cuts. 1.4595 0.05253 185 124 37 24
318 So after Stan’s unfortunate incident last year, can we agree no candles this year? 1.4595 0.04846 185 117 51 17
319 Alright people, it’s time to start using our heads. 1.4586 0.05307 157 100 42 15
320 I didn't see any of your eyes light up at my last proposal! 1.4581 0.05024 179 115 46 18
321 I’m afraid we’re going to need to make some additional cuts. 1.4577 0.04402 201 123 64 14
322 A recent forecast suggests we are entering a bad patch. 1.4573 0.04816 199 129 49 21
323 I thought we agreed to all carve a smile... 1.4571 0.04581 210 134 56 20
324 Any thoughts on the Pie Chart? 1.4571 0.05107 175 113 44 18
325 Oh come on fellas, one latte doesn’t make us cannibals. 1.4566 0.04951 173 109 49 15
326 I want to hear from Jack next 1.4561 0.05194 171 111 42 18
327 Thank you for carving out some time for me. 1.4554 0.04583 213 137 55 21
328 Today's topic is Diversity and Inclusion. Any thoughts? 1.4545 0.04890 176 111 50 15
329 Listen fellas, it’s 2022; if we wanna avoid lawsuits, you’re gonna have stop calling everyone in the office “pumpkin.” 1.4545 0.05191 165 106 43 16
330 Thanks for carving out time to be here today. 1.4545 0.05331 165 108 39 18
331 It appears that you're not happy with the pie chart results. 1.4541 0.04777 207 136 48 23
332 Okay, which one of you is wearing the Old Spice? 1.4536 0.04625 194 122 56 16
333 Does anyone else feel like we have a diversity problem? 1.4528 0.04880 212 143 42 27
334 Show them the pie chart, Gary 1.4528 0.04338 254 168 57 29
335 I'm sorry, but we're looking for employees with some guts. 1.4524 0.05459 168 113 34 21
336 Shareholders are complaining about the lack of diversity on the board. 1.4506 0.05184 162 104 43 15
337 Let's begin by taking roll. Jack? 1.4503 0.05191 171 112 41 18
338 So, who's going to donate their seed for next year’s crop? 1.4500 0.05062 180 118 43 19
339 Of course,none of us want to see this company carved up. 1.4500 0.04580 200 127 56 17
340 I got where I am by carving out a niche for myself. 1.4494 0.05647 158 107 31 20
341 At this law firm, we value diversity. 1.4492 0.04804 187 120 50 17
342 If sales don’t pick up this quarter, heads are gonna roll. 1.4486 0.05192 185 125 37 23
343 Quick... some brainstorming before our brains turn to mush 1.4486 0.05304 185 127 33 25
344 Gentlemen, orange is the new black. 1.4483 0.05948 145 99 27 19
345 Your performance this Halloween will be reflected in Thanksgiving’s pie chart. 1.4477 0.05101 172 112 43 17
346 Gentlemen, I have a smashing idea!! 1.4471 0.05472 170 116 32 22
347 As for the Holiday party I've booked The Smashing Pumpkins! 1.4471 0.05343 170 114 36 20
348 Not one of you has what it takes inside. 1.4467 0.04793 197 129 48 20
349 I think a little diversity is in order. 1.4466 0.04537 206 132 56 18
350 Why am I the only one smiling? 1.4464 0.05521 168 115 31 22
351 Thank you for attending our company’s annual meeting on diversity and inclusion. 1.4462 0.04998 186 123 43 20
352 I look around this room and I don’t see a single one of you with any GUTS! 1.4452 0.05579 155 104 33 18
353 Alright…Jack, why don’t you start. 1.4451 0.05136 164 106 43 15
354 Yes, I think it’s fair to say that being bought out by Mrs. Smith’s Pies constitutes a hostile takeover. 1.4451 0.05078 173 113 43 17
355 Go ahead, Jack. 1.4451 0.04806 173 109 51 13
356 The good news is our communications department wants a lot more pie charts.... 1.4444 0.04844 171 108 50 13
357 A lot of you are going to be out on the curb by the beginning of next month. 1.4444 0.04997 180 118 44 18
358 I'm afraid our only option is to make more cuts. 1.4444 0.04584 189 119 56 14
359 I’m the CEO, so I get the eight-figure compensation package and the smiley face. 1.4444 0.05187 171 113 40 18
360 So in summary, profit sharing is a tasty way for everyone to get a piece of the pie. Err, let me rephrase that… 1.4439 0.04740 187 120 51 16
361 I’m afraid we will be moving forward with a skeleton crew. 1.4432 0.04652 185 117 54 14
362 Heads are going to roll on November 1st. 1.4432 0.05074 185 124 40 21
363 Well, it's pumpkin-spice everything month, so some heads are gonna' roll! 1.4419 0.04607 172 106 56 10
364 And I still haven't brought out the pie chart. 1.4417 0.04738 206 137 47 22
365 Why am I smiling, you ask? Well, let's just say that Peter Peter finally got what was coming to him . . . 1.4417 0.05082 163 105 44 14
366 Yes, I am an optimist. I was carved this way. 1.4414 0.05696 145 97 32 16
367 Are you out of your gourds? 1.4412 0.05140 170 112 41 17
368 This explains why I found a stem under my wife's pillow. 1.4410 0.05201 161 105 41 15
369 You can expect layoffs to come November 1 1.4410 0.05421 161 108 35 18
370 I'm not seeing the fire in any of your eyes. 1.4403 0.05015 159 101 46 12
371 You will all want to look at the pie chart - 1.4400 0.04944 200 136 40 24
372 Pass the knife, I need to change my mood 1.4396 0.05015 182 121 42 19
373 Over to you, Jack. 1.4390 0.05204 164 108 40 16
374 so we finally got a contract with starbucks 1.4387 0.05499 155 104 34 17
375 For the next item, I need to pick your brains. 1.4383 0.04949 162 103 47 12
376 And then she said "Bippity boppity boo" and next thing I know it's morning and I'm sitting on the side of the road! 1.4383 0.05176 162 106 41 15
377 No more PIE charts! If I have to say it one more time, heads will roll! 1.4382 0.05280 178 122 34 22
378 Gentlemen, please go home, grab a knife, and turn those frowns into smiles. 1.4381 0.04950 194 131 41 22
379 We need more diversity. Get Mr. Potato Head. 1.4379 0.05149 153 98 43 12
380 Gentlemen, we’ve been directed to carve out space for more diversity. 1.4378 0.04711 185 119 51 15
381 The good news is we're going to start selling pies. The bad news is we're a little short of ingredients. 1.4378 0.05186 185 127 35 23
382 Anyone care to enlighten me? 1.4378 0.04648 185 118 53 14
383 The Board's going to look very different by Thanksgiving. 1.4371 0.04844 151 93 50 8
384 Do you mean Jack in accounting or Jack in marketing? 1.4370 0.05624 135 88 35 12
385 Let’s see some pie charts. 1.4370 0.05525 135 87 37 11
386 Triangles? That’s your big idea?” 1.4368 0.05308 174 119 34 21
387 As part of the company's new diversity initiative, the board is bringing in a cucumber and two types of melon. 1.4367 0.05345 158 105 37 16
388 Who wants to get lit? 1.4365 0.05093 181 122 39 20
389 So it's unanimous, then. 1.4360 0.04889 172 111 47 14
390 Sorry to inform you, but heads are gonna roll 1.4350 0.05052 177 118 41 18
391 This board has been criticized as empty-headed. 1.4337 0.04937 166 107 46 13
392 OK, this next one will make you laugh. 1.4333 0.04799 180 117 48 15
393 If profits don't increase by late October, heads will roll. 1.4326 0.05355 141 91 39 11
394 And with the introduction of pumpkin spice gefilte fish, our infiltration into cultural domination is now complete. 1.4326 0.05092 178 120 39 19
395 Some of you won’t make it to Christmas. 1.4326 0.04966 178 118 43 17
396 I don’t see the flicker of creativity in any of you! 1.4322 0.04473 199 128 56 15
397 That's not a pie chart - it's Ralph from Accounting. 1.4308 0.05772 130 86 32 12
398 The company has been sold to Cantaloupes Inc., and none of you will be needed going forward. 1.4304 0.05340 158 106 36 16
399 So to summarize, 11 coffees with pupkin spice. 1.4304 0.05108 158 103 42 13
400 The good news is you’ll all be going to this year’s stockholders’ banquet. The bad news is you’ll be going as pies. 1.4302 0.05221 172 117 36 19
401 Before we begin, I want us to take a moment to remember those of us lost to squirrels this week 1.4296 0.05715 135 90 32 13
402 We must squash the competition. 1.4295 0.05492 149 100 34 15
403 Thanks for carving out the time to be here today 1.4295 0.05688 156 109 27 20
404 Are we going to trick or treat the investors this year? 1.4294 0.04438 177 110 58 9
405 So many frowns. Am I the only one cut out for this work? 1.4286 0.04819 168 108 48 12
406 We realize the pie chart may be triggering for some of you 1.4278 0.05047 180 122 39 19
407 There’s bad news about the dental plan. 1.4277 0.05238 159 106 38 15
408 We are definitely not getting smashed after we adjourn. 1.4276 0.05338 145 95 38 12
409 Jack -- I need you and Jack to finalize the details with Jack and Jack by the end of the week. 1.4275 0.05738 131 87 32 12
410 Looks like one of us was happy with our bonus. 1.4268 0.05437 157 107 33 17
411 If they hadn’t scooped my brains out , I’d remember why I called this meeting. 1.4266 0.05389 143 94 37 12
412 I’m afraid we’ll have to make some more cuts 1.4265 0.04607 204 136 49 19
413 I guess you didn't get the stem memo, Roberts? 1.4264 0.06204 129 90 23 16
414 I would like to see more smiling faces around this table. 1.4259 0.04781 162 103 49 10
415 We’re closing our doors. I’m sorry, it looks like we’ll all be out on the street tonight. 1.4259 0.04939 162 105 45 12
416 Remember our motto - The darker it gets, the brighter we will shine. 1.4259 0.05240 162 109 37 16
417 I'm afraid we've spooked the markets. 1.4238 0.05011 151 97 44 10
418 So, how do we make having a big, orange head acceptable again? 1.4228 0.05232 149 98 39 12
419 For the tenth time, Johnson, we have no plans to offer dental coverage. 1.4228 0.05568 149 102 31 16
420 Good, everyone got the memo. 1.4222 0.04658 180 117 50 13
421 Let’s not lose our heads here. 1.4218 0.05368 147 98 36 13
422 With the gourds approval lets use the profits for seed money. 1.4214 0.05155 159 106 39 14
423 I've got some Smashing news... 1.4207 0.05260 164 112 35 17
424 It's normal to feel a bit hollowed out this time of year. 1.4207 0.05148 145 94 41 10
425 About that Dental Plan 1.4207 0.05679 145 100 29 16
426 O.K., show of hands. How many of you are planning to get smashed at the office party? 1.4205 0.05125 176 121 36 19
427 Of course we’re spooking investors, that’s the point 1.4201 0.05007 169 113 41 15
428 Relax. It's just an expression. No heads are going to roll today. 1.4201 0.04717 169 109 49 11
429 Let’s all get lit tonight! 1.4199 0.05080 181 125 36 20
430 Gentlemen, there's more than one way to get a head. 1.4194 0.05086 155 102 41 12
431 "Seed money for this initiative will be supplied by the head of each department." 1.4191 0.05769 136 93 29 14
432 In the interest of morale, I'll explain the budget cuts without using pie charts. 1.4190 0.04934 179 121 41 17
433 We're thinking like potatoes, not the pumpkins we are 1.4189 0.05509 148 101 32 15
434 Good news: we now offer dental. 1.4189 0.05164 148 97 40 11
435 Cheer up boys, and put on your happy face! 1.4184 0.05341 141 93 37 11
436 Anyone getting lit this weekend? Ha ha ha 1.4182 0.05374 165 115 31 19
437 Guys, get your head in the game here! It’s like lights are on but nobody’s home. 1.4179 0.05927 134 93 26 15
438 And to celebrate the great season we’ve had we’re all going to get lit up and smashed 1.4177 0.04853 158 102 46 10
439 You guys are just not cut out for this type of work. 1.4172 0.04831 163 106 46 11
440 I think we should go back to the K95’s. 1.4167 0.05488 132 87 35 10
441 We need a new pronoun. 1.4167 0.05895 132 91 27 14
442 We need to make our products less seasonal. 1.4167 0.05531 144 98 32 14
443 There’s no easy way to say this, but in about a month this entire board will be liquidated. 1.4167 0.05168 144 94 40 10
444 Starbucks has shifted to cinnamon spice! 1.4156 0.05349 154 105 34 15
445 I wish I had brighter ideas but they carved my brains out 1.4156 0.04936 154 100 44 10
446 well it's that time of year.....let's talk about our dental plan 1.4154 0.05756 130 88 30 12
447 Next week there will be pie in the break room. 1.4154 0.06157 130 92 22 16
448 Gentlemen, we’re not leaving this room until we carve out a better solution. 1.4150 0.05184 147 97 39 11
449 And finally, we will be disposing of the entire board effective November 1st. 1.4146 0.04962 164 109 42 13
450 - "Now don't look so spooked, we always make some cuts this time of the year" 1.4146 0.06101 123 85 25 13
451 Okay, anyone here not named Jack? 1.4145 0.05479 152 105 31 16
452 From now on you will all report to that Peter-Peter, something-or- other fellow in accounting. 1.4143 0.05643 140 96 30 14
453 Apple-cinnamon is starting to cut into our market share 1.4140 0.05035 157 104 41 12
454 On the plus side, we'll all be rotten by the election. 1.4138 0.04965 174 118 40 16
455 We have to diversify. We can’t just be about pumpkins anymore. 1.4138 0.05323 145 97 36 12
456 Now it’s time to light up. 1.4133 0.04675 196 133 45 18
457 Not all pumpkins are carved for upper management, I'm afraid. 1.4129 0.05241 155 105 36 14
458 I'll be working from home next Monday 1.4125 0.05199 160 109 36 15
459 When I peeked in the shareholders' conference room, they were looking at pie charts. 1.4124 0.04770 177 118 45 14
460 Who's up for a game of squash? 1.4118 0.05207 153 103 37 13
461 I can tell by looking around the table that our return-to-office policy isn’t popular. 1.4118 0.05855 136 95 26 15
462 Well, we all knew we’d have to make some tough decisions come November 1st. 1.4114 0.05168 158 107 37 14
463 I carved my way to the top 1.4113 0.05700 141 98 28 15
464 Our brains , our guts , when did we lose them? 1.4110 0.05886 146 105 22 19
465 Im going to get lit. Want to join me ? 1.4109 0.05678 129 87 31 11
466 All in favor of dental insurance, say "Aye"! 1.4109 0.05887 129 89 27 13
467 Heads won't roll, but they will get smashed. 1.4104 0.05823 134 93 27 14
468 We face new challenges on the latte front. 1.4103 0.04887 156 102 44 10
469 I’ve just got to run this by our gourd of directors. 1.4101 0.05086 139 90 41 8
470 At the end of the quarter we'll all be thrown out. 1.4094 0.05217 149 100 37 12
471 We’re here to discuss the ‘Peter, Peter’ problem. 1.4094 0.05304 149 101 35 13
472 No more empty headed ideas 1.4094 0.04741 171 113 46 12
473 These mask mandates are getting out of hand 1.4091 0.05342 154 106 33 15
474 I think it is time to light a fire in you all. 1.4076 0.05419 157 110 30 17
475 I'm proud to announce that the company has officially named me Chairman of the Gourd! 1.4076 0.05028 157 105 40 12
476 Prepare to wear a turkey on your head at next month's meeting. 1.4076 0.05108 157 106 38 13
477 I'm sorry, you all can't have Halloween off !! 1.4071 0.05258 140 93 37 10
478 Can we all carve out some time tomorrow? 1.4069 0.05225 145 97 37 11
479 As the new Gourd Chairman, my goal is to squash the competition. 1.4065 0.05981 123 85 26 12
480 Our meetings need a little spice. 1.4065 0.04988 155 103 41 11
481 Human Resources says I've been slow to address diversity. 1.4062 0.06018 128 90 24 14
482 Come on now, who's got that ol' fire in the belly? 1.4062 0.05915 128 89 26 13
483 So I've been hearing some grumblings about our new employee, Peter Peter 1.4062 0.05268 160 111 33 16
484 I'm glad to see that everyone got the memo. 1.4060 0.05652 133 91 30 12
485 ...and now...the dental plan 1.4056 0.05547 143 99 30 14
486 First, the bad news: Jack is no longer with us. Next, the good news: We all get a piece of the pie. 1.4052 0.05674 153 110 24 19
487 We need a business plan by Halloween or heads will roll. 1.4051 0.05161 158 108 36 14
488 And this year, let's try not to lose our heads. 1.4048 0.05012 168 115 38 15
489 I'm so happy you could all carve out time to be here today 1.4048 0.05654 126 85 31 10
490 Next on the agenda: November layoffs. 1.4048 0.05541 126 84 33 9
491 Who roasted the seed capital? 1.4048 0.05875 126 87 27 12
492 We need to face the fact that our previous cuts were not enough. 1.4046 0.05608 131 89 31 11
493 The vote is 6 to 5. ‘Trick’ it is. 1.4044 0.05360 136 91 35 10
494 And with the introduction of the pumpkin spice enema, our domination of the consumer marketplace shall be complete. 1.4043 0.05419 141 96 33 12
495 Let's squash that idea. 1.4043 0.05228 141 94 37 10
496 The pies have it 1.4038 0.04574 208 144 44 20
497 When I die, I’m choosing to be composted 1.4031 0.05773 129 89 28 12
498 Can't you just this once put on a happy face? 1.4029 0.05567 139 96 30 13
499 TSA is asking that none of us greet each other by saying Hi Jack. 1.4028 0.05336 144 98 34 12
500 As you know, we've recently gone through a rough patch. 1.4028 0.05336 144 98 34 12
501 As of November 1st your services are no longer required 1.4027 0.05032 149 99 40 10
502 We will start the meeting after John puts his stem on. 1.4025 0.05581 159 115 24 20
503 Some of you are about to get canned. 1.4025 0.04897 159 106 42 11
504 I must announce that after November 1st, everybody will be smashed 1.4024 0.04794 164 109 44 11
505 Let’s go around and give updates. We’ll start with Jack, then go Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack and finish up with Jack. 1.4024 0.04988 169 116 38 15
506 We need to develop a long-term sustainability plan beyond Halloween. 1.4017 0.05702 117 78 31 8
507 Good news! We just got dental. 1.4016 0.05417 122 80 35 7
508 "Well, of course, please convey the Board's condolences, but I don't believe I know Jack. 1.4015 0.05329 137 92 35 10
509 Mr. O'Latern is okay, but I prefer to be addressed as "the Great Pumpkin". 1.4015 0.05623 137 95 29 13
510 I am here to squash any rumours you may have heard... 1.4014 0.05570 142 99 29 14
511 Explain how you let Starbucks take and rebrand pumpkins from us! 1.4013 0.05411 157 111 29 17
512 The motion to be recognized as a fruit is unanimously approved. 1.4012 0.05065 162 111 37 14
513 I have a great idea for a recipe but it'll come at a great sacrifice for us all. 1.4000 0.05185 160 111 34 15
514 We'll meet again November 1 to replace smashed Board members." 1.4000 0.05778 135 95 26 14
515 Let me now introduce the company's new board chairman...Peter Peter. 1.4000 0.06041 130 93 22 15
516 Well ... I guess the rest of you just weren't carved out for this type of challenge. 1.4000 0.05149 140 93 38 9
517 If you can’t smile, you’re not carved out for this job. 1.4000 0.06026 115 79 26 10
518 I won't mention any names right now, but some of you are getting canned. 1.3988 0.05415 168 122 25 21
519 Come on, put on a happy face. 1.3986 0.05074 143 95 39 9
520 I'm afraid we need to make further cuts. 1.3986 0.04976 143 94 41 8
521 In this week's diversity meeting... 1.3986 0.05590 138 96 29 13
522 Than it is agreed. We remain on strike until we get a better dental plan! 1.3984 0.05800 128 89 27 12
523 first I want to announce that the caterer who served the pumpkin seed loaf at Friday’s meeting has been let go. 1.3984 0.05857 123 85 27 11
524 You asked for a picture of future employment prospects in the company. I've asked HR to prepare a pie chart. 1.3975 0.05234 161 113 32 16
525 Donald, Jr., you go first. 1.3974 0.05154 151 103 36 12
526 Are we vegetables or just decorations? 1.3974 0.05322 151 105 32 14
527 Clearly, the charges of nepotism are groundless. 1.3972 0.05772 141 101 24 16
528 Don't be glum...there's still a future for us in pies starting in late November 1.3971 0.05451 136 93 32 11
529 Welcome to the October witness protection program meeting. 1.3968 0.05971 126 89 24 13
530 Agreed, we cancel the dental plan? 1.3967 0.05924 121 84 26 11
531 Yes, it's a niche market, but I think we can carve out a role for ourselves. 1.3961 0.04911 154 103 41 10
532 Seize the moment gentlemen. This is our time to shine. 1.3957 0.05268 139 94 35 10
533 Yes, we will squash the competition. 1.3947 0.05456 152 108 28 16
534 Why am I smiling? I'm just cut out that way." 1.3946 0.05336 147 102 32 13
535 Meeting's over. Let's get smashed. 1.3946 0.05423 147 103 30 14
536 I'm pleased to announce that next Monday we will be welcoming a Zucchini to the Board. 1.3942 0.05319 137 93 34 10
537 Oh Come on! Lighten up! 1.3937 0.05607 127 87 30 10
538 It's not personal... we all knew this business was seasonal. 1.3937 0.05142 127 83 38 6
539 Thank you all for carving time out of your busy schedules 1.3937 0.05826 127 89 26 12
540 The first order of business is discussing the squirrel problem. 1.3934 0.05528 122 82 32 8
541 I am thrilled to introduce our new diversity and inclusion initiative! 1.3933 0.05343 150 105 31 14
542 We need to make a few cuts. 1.3932 0.05557 117 78 32 7
543 So Peter, you’re going to be picking up a gal by the name of Cinderella. And don’t be late” 1.3932 0.05942 117 81 26 10
544 I agree. Fuck squirrels. 1.3929 0.05617 140 99 27 14
545 Pie season is around the corner so today we’re bidding farewell to Stan and Fred. 1.3927 0.04912 191 137 33 21
546 We’ll still be searching for heads in the interim. 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
547 Think of it this way, it could be worse, we could be turkeys” 1.3923 0.05514 130 89 31 10
548 Did I ever tell you about the time I met Charles Schulz? 1.3919 0.05393 148 104 30 14
549 Fine. It'll be apple pie. 1.3902 0.05730 123 85 28 10
550 No. The other Jack. 1.3894 0.05820 113 77 28 8
551 As your new head, I intend to carve out a happier corporate culture. 1.3893 0.05372 131 89 33 9
552 The good news is you've all been selected to be in the pumpkin pie eating contest. 1.3893 0.06089 131 96 19 16
553 I understand some of you refer to me as 'Old Pumpkinhead.' 1.3893 0.05103 149 102 36 11
554 Let’s go around the table and introduce ourselves. I’m Jack. 1.3889 0.05199 162 115 31 16
555 Next on the agenda - Board diversification. 1.3889 0.05859 108 73 28 7
556 I'm pleased to announce, starting November 1st, you will all qualify for our dental plan. 1.3885 0.05356 139 96 32 11
557 Today's guest speaker will be Libby from catering. 1.3884 0.06027 121 86 23 12
558 Great news! Apparently, we're scaring the competition! 1.3884 0.05551 121 82 31 8
559 What do you mean Pumpkin Spice isn’t in our portfolio? 1.3884 0.05551 121 82 31 8
560 My next idea is illuminating. 1.3881 0.05180 134 90 36 8
561 We’re all born equal. But we’re carved differently. 1.3881 0.05597 134 94 28 12
562 Our research revealed we a glaring lack of diversity” 1.3874 0.06292 111 79 21 11
563 It goes without saying, we're gonna need to make some cuts. 1.3873 0.04603 173 117 45 11
564 We need to add a little spice to these meetings. 1.3871 0.05457 124 84 32 8
565 Technically, I think we're Jacks-o-lantern. 1.3869 0.05408 137 95 31 11
566 There will be no layoffs this year. In unrelated news, we'll start selling pies this quarter." 1.3866 0.05860 119 83 26 10
567 I’d love to carve that ridiculous smile off his face. 1.3865 0.04948 163 113 37 13
568 Bradley, 'cheater, cheater pumpkin eater' is not how we constructively express disagreement here. 1.3864 0.05552 132 92 29 11
569 Who's up for pie charts? 1.3862 0.05377 145 102 30 13
570 Ok, who has the pie chart? 1.3860 0.06041 114 80 24 10
571 It's come to my attention some of you feel our continued use of pie charts is a form of micro-aggression. 1.3852 0.05986 122 87 23 12
572 If your name isn’t Jack raise your hand. 1.3852 0.05636 122 84 29 9
573 Now let’s see whose head is getting chopped this year. Just kidding. 1.3852 0.05390 122 82 33 7
574 It's great to see some familiar faces back in the office. 1.3852 0.05462 135 94 30 11
575 I'm afraid we'll be making some additional cuts. 1.3852 0.05150 135 91 36 8
576 I believe the seeds of greatness are in all of us. 1.3852 0.05661 135 96 26 13
577 OK… very funny! Which one of you wrote 3.14 on the blackboard? 1.3852 0.05758 135 97 24 14
578 Jack, we need to squash the competition. 1.3846 0.05339 156 112 28 16
579 This would be a lot simpler if some of us weren’t named “Jack.” 1.3846 0.05337 143 100 31 12
580 SO....apparently, orange is NOT the new black. 1.3846 0.06020 130 95 20 15
581 To clarify: This is not a divestiture. It's a carve-out. 1.3839 0.06498 112 82 17 13
582 Don’t worry. We can pivot to turkey masks. 1.3830 0.04998 141 95 38 8
583 Ok who wants to do the stoop this year? 1.3828 0.05669 128 90 27 11
584 And lastly, my niece is stopping by this afternoon to select one of your heads for her doorstep. 1.3826 0.05869 115 80 26 9
585 It was a gourd way to squash the competition. 1.3824 0.06238 102 71 23 8
586 And now let’s hear from Jack. 1.3824 0.05752 102 68 29 5
587 Thanks for carving out this time to meet with me! 1.3824 0.05119 136 92 36 8
588 Well... You've all shown that you're willing to do whatever stupid thing I ask you to. 1.3817 0.05882 131 95 22 14
589 Now gentlemen, when you hired me I specifically said ‘I don’t know Jack!’ 1.3813 0.05536 139 99 27 13
590 All this power but I feel empty inside” 1.3810 0.05317 147 104 30 13
591 And is precisely why I am the face of this firm! 1.3806 0.05275 134 92 33 9
592 I am pleased to announce, we are going to make our first diversity hire. 1.3803 0.05263 142 99 32 11
593 Let's take a vote before our brains rot.” 1.3802 0.05537 121 83 30 8
594 Any ideas? Use your gourds! 1.3802 0.05898 121 86 24 11
595 The good news is we had a great quarter. The bad news is we are letting you all go as of November 1st” 1.3802 0.05780 121 85 26 10
596 Starting November 1st I’m afraid we’ll have to let you all go 1.3802 0.05660 121 84 28 9
597 Heads up everyone, I believe Elon will allow anyone with an orange face to tweet. So cheer up! 1.3800 0.05239 150 106 31 13
598 Don't look so glum. Libby's stock has never looked better. 1.3798 0.05524 129 90 29 10
599 I am not sure if any of you are really cut out for this 1.3796 0.05842 108 74 27 7
600 I may be the Great Pumpkin,but not to worry. You are no turnips. 1.3796 0.04874 137 91 40 6
601 And not one of you has the guts to stop me! 1.3796 0.05194 137 94 34 9
602 A candle for your thoughts 1.3793 0.05092 145 100 35 10
603 I am happy to tell you that all of you will be transferred to our pie division. 1.3790 0.05562 124 86 29 9
604 As you know sales were good this year, but the outlook for next month is rotten. 1.3788 0.05105 132 89 36 7
605 We're not yet in the black, but we are in the orange. 1.3788 0.05434 132 92 30 10
606 You're telling me no one here has any ideas about how we can carve out a niche in the market? 1.3788 0.05327 132 91 32 9
607 So, layoffs begin November 1st. 1.3786 0.05708 103 69 29 5
608 Trust me I’m not happy about it, guys. I’m just carved this way. 1.3786 0.05216 140 97 33 10
609 It's nice to see all your smiling faces. 1.3785 0.04795 177 125 37 15
610 A union? I didn’t think you had the guts. 1.3784 0.06406 111 81 18 12
611 Well, I think we have carved out an agenda. 1.3782 0.05330 156 113 27 16
612 I’m not trying to be alarmist I just think everyone should be ready for layoffs come November 1st 1.3780 0.05582 127 89 28 10
613 It's only going to take 4 of you to make the pie chart 1.3776 0.05138 143 99 34 10
614 I’m very proud to have been appointed as Chairman of the Gourd 1.3776 0.05138 143 99 34 10
615 Our lawyers say that, from now on, half the Board must come from other parts of the garden. 1.3776 0.06570 98 70 19 9
616 I think we need a diversity committee. 1.3770 0.05858 122 87 24 11
617 Personnel cuts will continue through the end of October. 1.3769 0.05489 130 91 29 10
618 Gentlemen, we need to diversify. 1.3761 0.05650 109 74 29 6
619 I’m very excited to announce our merger with the pie division. 1.3761 0.05943 109 76 25 8
620 If we can rebrand it to "gourd spice latte", we all keep our heads. 1.3761 0.05787 117 82 26 9
621 Good job! The competition can’t hold a candle to us. 1.3760 0.05641 125 88 27 10
622 Now I know it’s busy season for us, but I hope we’ve all had time to clear our heads. 1.3760 0.05975 125 91 21 13
623 I'd like to thank you all for coming to this important meeting on diversity. 1.3760 0.05755 125 89 25 11
624 And now, over to Jack for an update on our Diversity & Inclusion program 1.3759 0.05401 133 93 30 10
625 We need to light a fire in you. 1.3759 0.04884 141 95 39 7
626 This is when they all realized the lantern in Jacks head was not as bright as they previously thought it was. 1.3758 0.05343 149 107 28 14
627 We need to take the accusation that we're a bunch of pumpkin heads seriously. 1.3750 0.05203 128 87 34 7
628 Your new work attire will include candles in your heads. 1.3750 0.05805 120 85 25 10
629 It’s unanimous. We’ll be adding dental benefits. 1.3750 0.05547 112 76 30 6
630 So what’s everyone doing this weekend? 1.3750 0.05315 136 95 31 10
631 It’s official: I’m the Great Pumpkin 1.3750 0.05564 144 105 24 15
632 Good morning Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack and Jack. Help me welcome Jack from our Chicago office. Jack? 1.3750 0.06075 128 95 18 15
633 Canning, gentlemen. One way or another it will be your future 1.3743 0.04838 171 121 36 14
634 You guys don’t know Jack. 1.3742 0.04774 163 113 39 11
635 I promise, it'll be as easy as pie. 1.3741 0.05525 139 100 26 13
636 Let's put out heads together and come up with a smashing new idea. 1.3740 0.05455 131 92 29 10
637 Sorry to inform you that you're all being canned..oops, I mean fired! 1.3740 0.05235 131 90 33 8
638 Just blend in and see if you see anything suspicious 1.3739 0.05983 115 82 23 10
639 We've been accused of lacking diversity. 1.3733 0.05313 150 108 28 14
640 Gentlemen, use your heads. These are perishable commodities in a seasonal market. 1.3733 0.05397 150 109 26 15
641 We had to let Jack go. 1.3732 0.05156 142 99 33 10
642 We need a volunteer for the city catapult contest. 1.3731 0.05573 134 96 26 12
643 ... so your last day will be Thanksgiving. 1.3730 0.05826 126 91 23 12
644 Welcome to this workshop on how to carve out a new career. 1.3730 0.05253 126 86 33 7
645 I know, but the kid from Wharton said it works. 1.3723 0.06414 94 66 21 7
646 Because I am Chairman of the Gourd, that's why! 1.3723 0.05284 137 96 31 10
647 Gentlemen, I'd like to announce our new CEO-- Peter Peter. 1.3723 0.06042 137 104 15 18
648 Ok, Everybody smile 1.3721 0.06035 129 96 18 15
649 I think we can all agree the Squash tournament was a disaster... 1.3719 0.05765 121 86 25 10
650 'Looking around the room, I'm not sure you believe me when I say "I'm not happy unless you're happy."' 1.3717 0.05922 113 80 24 9
651 We’ve burned through our seed money. 1.3714 0.05286 105 69 33 3
652 All in favor of “ no candles” say boo hoo 1.3714 0.05783 105 72 27 6
653 Actually, I prefer to be called John-O-Lantern 1.3714 0.05397 140 100 28 12
654 Additional cuts are necessary before we can all smile again. 1.3710 0.05664 124 88 26 10
655 Well. I'm glad we're of the same mind. 1.3710 0.05664 124 88 26 10
656 Too many Jacks, not enough Jills! 1.3710 0.05664 124 88 26 10
657 I see we have some new faces here this year 1.3710 0.05779 124 89 24 11
658 It's an honour to be elected Chairman of the Gourd. 1.3706 0.05126 143 100 33 10
659 I'm not really happy, I'm just carved that way. 1.3704 0.06113 108 77 22 9
660 I’m afraid they’ll be cuts. 1.3701 0.05339 127 88 31 8
661 Heads are gonna roll. 1.3701 0.05454 127 89 29 9
662 So, HR says we have too many Jack-Os and not enough Jill-Os. 1.3701 0.05568 127 90 27 10
663 All right team.. let's carve out our strategy for this halloween season 1.3701 0.05099 127 86 35 6
664 I can see it in your faces, last quarter's results were grim. 1.3700 0.05972 100 69 25 6
665 As Chairman of the Gourd, your motion is squashed. 1.3697 0.05044 119 79 36 4
666 As the only talking head, I declare myself the winner. 1.3694 0.05993 111 79 23 9
667 Let's wrap this up by going around the table and everyone sharing what they're grateful for.... 1.3689 0.06758 103 77 14 12
668 What we need now is a pie chart! 1.3689 0.05726 122 87 25 10
669 You've all been transferred to our spiced latte division 1.3684 0.05387 133 94 29 10
670 I'm honored to accept this promotion in light of Bob's face being eaten by a squirrel. 1.3684 0.06010 114 82 22 10
671 Gentlemen, I'll be frank. Some of you will most likely become pies by the end of this three week seminar... 1.3684 0.05996 95 65 25 5
672 No, this is just the way my face was carved. The earnings reports was terrible. 1.3680 0.05627 125 89 26 10
673 Read the room, Jack. 1.3676 0.05302 136 96 30 10
674 Smiling? You must be out of your gourd. 1.3675 0.05642 117 82 27 8
675 Gentlemen, the end is near. 1.3675 0.05235 117 79 33 5
676 I'm starting to sense a patch of negativity 1.3675 0.06021 117 85 21 11
677 I take it no one liked the Halloween bonuses”. 1.3672 0.05960 128 95 19 14
678 You're all being laid off on the first of November. 1.3672 0.05187 128 88 33 7
679 Those who underperform in the trick-or-treat project will be assigned to the Thanksgiving banquet project. 1.3670 0.05779 109 76 26 7
680 Alright you pumpkin heads! What else we got besides Halloween? 1.3669 0.05120 139 97 33 9
681 Jack, I’d like to hear from you. 1.3664 0.04990 131 89 36 6
682 Yes, I was made CEO because I'm the only one of us with a smile. 1.3664 0.05107 131 90 34 7
683 Always good to connect with everyone off vine. 1.3663 0.05755 101 69 27 5
684 Thank you all for joining me in the gourdroom. 1.3661 0.05672 112 78 27 7
685 Jane O Lantern will be taking over! 1.3661 0.05073 112 74 35 3
686 I'm looking for diversity on this board of trustees. Any suggestions,Jacks? 1.3659 0.05448 123 86 29 8
687 I've called this meeting before our heads start caving in. 1.3657 0.05758 134 99 21 14
688 Another year, another stab in the face”. 1.3657 0.05354 134 95 29 10
689 With the reorganization, we feel some of you will be better utilized in Baked Goods. 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
690 We need something that will make their faces light up. 1.3654 0.04989 156 111 33 12
691 We need to make more cuts. 1.3651 0.04989 126 85 36 5
692 Basically, the DEI Committee said that we are out of our gourds. 1.3650 0.05371 137 98 28 11
693 Let the minutes reflect that the squirrels are back. 1.3646 0.06127 96 67 23 6
694 November is right around the corner. Nice knowing you guys! 1.3644 0.05855 118 85 23 10
695 Don’t let my carving fool you. The numbers are really bad. 1.3644 0.05978 118 86 21 11
696 We have to start burning the candle at both ends. 1.3644 0.05730 118 84 25 9
697 I’m here today to discuss seed funding… 1.3643 0.05155 129 89 33 7
698 If we put our heads together, we can carve out enough seed money from investors, so that everyone will have a slice of the pie 1.3643 0.05496 129 92 27 10
699 Next agenda item: Dental Benefits. 1.3636 0.05880 110 78 24 8
700 To facilitate our discussion of corporate downsizing, I've prepared a few pie charts.... 1.3636 0.05824 99 68 26 5
701 Why all the frowns? 1.3636 0.05880 110 78 24 8
702 The maze is doing well and we're still good fertilizer. 1.3636 0.05880 110 78 24 8
703 Thanks for carving out some time for today’s meeting. 1.3636 0.05378 121 84 30 7
704 C’mon guys, let’s not squash each other ideas,OK? 1.3630 0.05109 135 94 33 8
705 Do you all have your candles? 1.3628 0.05193 113 76 33 4
706 So, what do you say, Jack? 1.3628 0.05631 113 79 27 7
707 And you call yourselves organic? 1.3628 0.05343 113 77 31 5
708 As part of the cutbacks We are all being transferred to the thanksgiving pies division. 1.3622 0.05439 127 90 28 9
709 It is 3 days after Halloween, anyone’s head feeling soft or mushy? 1.3622 0.05083 127 87 34 6
710 Do you think we can carve out a position on the Board for my nephew? 1.3622 0.05553 127 91 26 10
711 Lighten up. I said “pi,” not “pie.” 1.3613 0.05563 119 84 27 8
712 Let's not lose our heads over the Horseman account. 1.3613 0.05690 119 85 25 9
713 The good news is that all of you made the cut; the bad news is that none of us will last very long. 1.3611 0.05652 108 75 27 6
714 The vote is Pumpkin Heads 11, Mr. Potato Heads 0. 1.3608 0.05896 97 67 25 5
715 It has been brought to my attention that someone has been leaving seeds on the toilet seat. 1.3607 0.05827 122 89 22 11
716 How about you Jack? Any bright ideas inside that empty head of yours? 1.3604 0.05975 111 80 22 9
717 Friendly reminder, underperformers will be turned into pie. 1.3604 0.05548 111 77 28 6
718 OK, let’s all get our heads in the game! 1.3600 0.05495 125 89 27 9
719 Ghosts are up 48%, spiders up 12%, and headstones down 11%. We need to put our heads together. Jack, tell us what you got. Triangles aren't cutting it. 1.3600 0.05376 125 88 29 8
720 Sadly, it appears to be contagious. 1.3597 0.05106 139 98 32 9
721 Well, I see by your faces you're not pleased with the cuts. 1.3597 0.05207 139 99 30 10
722 Thank you all for coming to our first diversity training meeting. 1.3596 0.05861 114 82 23 9
723 Gentlemen, it’s time we start thinking about switching to LEDs. 1.3596 0.05590 114 80 27 7
724 Does anyone have a match? 1.3596 0.06636 89 64 18 7
725 So, Jack, Jack and Jack will oversee Marketing, and Jack, Jack, Jack and Jack will supervise our new management team. 1.3592 0.05830 103 72 25 6
726 So it's agreed. Next year we transition to solar. 1.3590 0.06004 117 86 20 11
727 I can see the surprise carved into your faces 1.3590 0.06004 117 86 20 11
728 Gentlemen, we'll have to put our best face on last month's results. 1.3590 0.05753 117 84 24 9
729 It is really not that hard to turn a frown upside down. 1.3588 0.05533 131 95 25 11
730 I’d like to see a light go on in those heads of yours. 1.3588 0.05205 131 92 31 8
731 Let's spice things up a bit! 1.3585 0.05394 106 72 30 4
732 I am afraid that you will ALL be terminated on November the 1st. 1.3585 0.05872 106 75 24 7
733 Our division is not being carved out but the Board has asked for some paring back. 1.3583 0.05265 120 83 31 6
734 There is pie in the kitchen to celebrate Jack’s last day. 1.3583 0.06126 120 90 17 13
735 We need to spice things up around here. 1.3582 0.05125 134 94 32 8
736 I expect that you all carve out a business plan on Halloween because I have nothing left inside me. 1.3582 0.05545 134 98 24 12
737 I can tell by your facial expressions that my proposal is not well received .... 1.3579 0.05970 95 66 24 5
738 Mr. O’Lantern was my father. Call me Jack” 1.3578 0.06186 109 80 19 10
739 Let's introduce ourselves. I'll start. I'm Jack. 1.3577 0.05552 123 88 26 9
740 Hey guys. It's "Happy Halloween" for a reason. 1.3577 0.05431 123 87 28 8
741 Just a reminder, never burn the candle at both ends 1.3577 0.05671 123 89 24 10
742 Corporate says too much trick, not enough treat. 1.3577 0.05357 137 99 27 11
743 He's perfect. He looks like he was cut out for the position. 1.3571 0.04974 140 98 34 8
744 For the sake of diversity, maybe we should recruit a few turnips. 1.3571 0.05930 112 81 22 9
745 ‘We have to cut back on the lighting budget. Some of you will be demoted to just Jack.’ 1.3565 0.05686 115 82 25 8
746 The good news is that some of you will participate in halloween. The bad news is that some of you will be pie. 1.3562 0.04884 160 115 33 12
747 Why all the frowny faces? 1.3561 0.05283 132 94 29 9
748 And now, for something really scary, Ichabod will present the financial report... 1.3559 0.06081 118 88 18 12
749 Who brought the treats? 1.3559 0.05453 118 83 28 7
750 We need to make a few more cuts. 1.3556 0.04757 135 92 38 5
751 Bill, what happened to your stem. It’s not business casual Friday. 1.3554 0.05968 121 90 19 12
752 I’m just gonna be honest with you, we have absolutely no business plan past October 1.3554 0.06082 121 91 17 13
753 Some of you aren’t cut out for this… 1.3551 0.05976 107 77 22 8
754 Thanks, everyone, for using unscented candles during your smoke breaks. 1.3551 0.05976 107 77 22 8
755 'Good to see you all got the memo.' 1.3551 0.05673 107 75 26 6
756 I'm afraid Charlie in chair 3 requires a stem cell transplant. 1.3551 0.05976 107 77 22 8
757 I’m glad everyone got the memo. 1.3551 0.05516 107 74 28 5
758 I’d like to thank everyone for carving out some time to meet this weekend. 1.3551 0.05325 138 100 27 11
759 i know, i know, i don’t agree with their band name, but you have to admit the smashing pumpkins is a great band to play at the holiday party this year 1.3545 0.05716 110 78 25 7
760 Today we will be focusing on ways to not rot after Halloween. 1.3545 0.06001 110 80 21 9
761 Profits just went off the chart; let's get smashed tonight! 1.3543 0.05648 127 93 23 11
762 Lighten up, guys...that's what we do... 1.3540 0.05750 113 81 24 8
763 Of course, one of you has to rot first. 1.3540 0.05468 113 79 28 6
764 AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO FINDS BEING A PUMPKIN HEAD AMUSING? 1.3540 0.05468 113 79 28 6
765 I realize no one's in the mood for Christmas but somebody needs to plan the Holiday party before our heads rot. 1.3540 0.06018 113 83 20 10
766 I’m looking for diversity committee volunteers. 1.3540 0.05886 113 82 22 9
767 Thank you all for carving out the time. 1.3538 0.05222 130 92 30 8
768 Then we're all in agreement... pecan pie. 1.3535 0.06628 99 74 15 10
769 Collectively, you don’t know Jack 1.3535 0.05239 99 66 31 2
770 We won the Sleepy Hollow account. Legendary job, gentlemen! 1.3534 0.05776 116 84 23 9
771 Our next project involves carving out a new plan. 1.3534 0.05231 116 80 31 5
772 Then it's settled, Charlie Brown is a honary member 1.3529 0.05672 119 86 24 9
773 And those agreeing with the motion say Boo. 1.3529 0.05169 136 97 30 9
774 You can't all be named Jack 1.3529 0.05376 136 99 26 11
775 My long-overdue replacement will be Jill-O-Lantern. 1.3529 0.05853 102 72 24 6
776 Okay c'mon think! We need something to use with the word spice. 1.3525 0.05292 139 101 27 11
777 We’ll be confined to this secure location until November 1. 1.3524 0.06627 105 80 13 12
778 So, now that our heads are clear... 1.3524 0.05896 105 75 23 7
779 So who do we think is going to get smashed at the holiday party this year? 1.3520 0.04985 125 86 34 5
780 Our apple and pecan pies aren't selling very well. Anybody have any ideas? 1.3519 0.06074 108 79 20 9
781 I realize company morale is low, but H.R. has just laid in a new supply of candles. 1.3519 0.04977 108 72 34 2
782 I wish all of us could lighten up. 1.3519 0.05314 108 74 30 4
783 Ask yourselves—we’re you cut out for this line of work? 1.3517 0.04847 145 102 35 8
784 Profits are way up. Let's get smashed! 1.3517 0.04945 145 103 33 9
785 Truth is, some of us just aren't cut-out for leadership. 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
786 Let's carve out a time to discuss Jack's concerns. 1.3514 0.05673 111 79 25 7
787 I know how gutted you must all feel about this decision. 1.3511 0.06183 94 67 21 6
788 We’ve received the results of our board diversity survey… 1.3509 0.05429 114 80 28 6
789 We are happy to announce that this years holiday party will host a reunion of the band Smashing Pumpkins. 1.3504 0.05343 137 100 26 11
790 Am I the only one who sees the humor in the situation? 1.3500 0.05994 120 90 18 12
791 We all have to make a few more cuts. 1.3500 0.05507 120 86 26 8
792 Just letting you know I fired the guy who turned your smiles upside down. 1.3496 0.05535 123 89 25 9
793 Thank you for carving out time for this meeting today, gentlemen. 1.3495 0.05468 103 71 28 4
794 Let’s all put our heads together and carve out a new plan! 1.3495 0.06279 103 76 18 9
795 I'm glad to report that there's demand for exactly ten seasonal pies. 1.3492 0.05557 126 92 24 10
796 Any ideas to improve November sales? 1.3491 0.05850 106 76 23 7
797 Believe me, I'm more concerned about layoffs than you are. I was just carved this way. 1.3491 0.05694 106 75 25 6
798 In the interest of board diversity, we’ll be adding some new faces. 1.3491 0.06149 106 78 19 9
799 Before we begin, does anyone have a light? 1.3486 0.05587 109 77 26 6
800 I’m looking to put a new face on the company. Go! 1.3485 0.05156 132 94 30 8
801 Does anyone else ever just feel empty inside? 1.3482 0.05486 112 79 27 6
802 OK. Any ideas what we'll do for Christmas? 1.3481 0.05185 135 97 29 9
803 None of have any guts! 1.3478 0.06814 92 69 14 9
804 The important thing is never to let on that we're just a bunch of pumpkinheads. 1.3478 0.05002 138 98 32 8
805 Thanksgiving is next week, Who’s bringing the Pie? 1.3478 0.06072 92 65 22 5
806 Ok. Who brought the candles? 1.3475 0.05565 118 85 25 8
807 Great news! We’ve signed Smashing Pumpkins! 1.3474 0.06308 95 69 19 7
808 Let me just start by saying you all looking smashing. 1.3474 0.05751 95 66 25 4
809 Which one of you is Jack? 1.3471 0.05593 121 88 24 9
810 I don’t see that spark in your eyes anymore. 1.3471 0.05834 121 90 20 11
811 I found a great dentist 1.3468 0.05955 124 94 17 13
812 We need more smiles around here. On the count of three turn your head upside down. 1.3465 0.05876 101 72 23 6
813 I'm sorry, but that pie chart is such a trigger for me. 1.3462 0.06375 104 78 16 10
814 So yesterday, you were all wondering how to get a-head in this business, how to really carve space for yourself and shine a light on your best features… 1.3459 0.05342 133 97 26 10
815 I see a bright light in all of your minds, but the future of the company remains spooky. 1.3456 0.04826 136 95 35 6
816 Why am I the only guy with a smiley face around here? 1.3455 0.05694 110 79 24 7
817 Encouraging you to dress up this year is just our way of valuing your own individual flair and creativity. 1.3451 0.05999 113 84 19 10
818 It has come to my attention that you are all burned out and sad. 1.3451 0.05446 113 80 27 6
819 Now, about the dental plan … 1.3448 0.06296 87 62 20 5
820 Which one of you is giving the update on our corporate diversity initiative? 1.3445 0.05395 119 85 27 7
821 Frankly, our outlook is rotten 1.3444 0.06153 90 64 21 5
822 Some of you won't be here in 3 weeks time. 1.3440 0.05218 125 89 29 7
823 I’m Mr. O’Lantern but please, call me Jack. 1.3438 0.04632 128 87 38 3
824 Gentlemen. The knives are out. 1.3438 0.05892 96 68 23 5
825 I’ve heard from HR that there have been some complaints about our new company dress code. 1.3434 0.06605 99 75 14 10
826 Don’t we need more diversity here? 1.3434 0.05403 99 68 28 3
827 I think we have a diversity issue here! 1.3434 0.06285 99 73 18 8
828 Our October revenues were through the roof,but unfortunately zero in every other month. 1.3433 0.05308 134 98 26 10
829 For a fresh perspective, I propose we hire Mr. Potato Head. 1.3431 0.05659 102 72 25 5
830 Jack, you better carve that smirk right off your face. 1.3431 0.05828 102 73 23 6
831 We need to stay fresh, current and relevant. We haven’t even left the front step. 1.3431 0.05327 137 101 25 11
832 And to turn those frowns upside down, all it will take is a few cuts 1.3429 0.06026 105 77 20 8
833 Well, yes, the bad news is there will be cuts. The good news is they will result in a bigger piece of the pie. 1.3429 0.05872 105 76 22 7
834 Okay. I'd like to plant a seed in your head. 1.3426 0.06052 108 80 19 9
835 The good news is you'll all make great pies. 1.3426 0.06193 108 81 17 10
836 Can we stop with the missing teeth, already!!! 1.3426 0.06052 108 80 19 9
837 If the bottom line doesn't improve, heads will roll. 1.3426 0.05450 108 76 27 5
838 Apple and Mince are gaining on us. We need a bigger slice of the pie! 1.3423 0.05794 111 81 22 8
839 I still think that “the gourd accord” is a great name for our merger. 1.3419 0.05314 117 83 28 6
840 When I first had the ides for this company, they told me I was put of my gourd 1.3417 0.04950 120 83 33 4
841 Please shut your pie holes while I’m talking 1.3417 0.05857 120 90 19 11
842 I'm afraid we have to can 3 of you. 1.3416 0.04671 161 116 35 10
843 Well carving made ME happier. You must have all done it wrong. 1.3413 0.05539 126 93 23 10
844 ...and last but not least, you'll be thrilled to hear that the board of directors has voted to approve dental insurance for all employees. 1.3409 0.06236 88 63 20 5
845 I’ve been told we need to address diversity in the workplace. 1.3409 0.06836 88 66 14 8
846 Gentlemen we have been asked to represent "The Smashing Pumpkins"... 1.3407 0.05678 135 103 18 14
847 We've been chosen as the Starbucks seasoning of the month! 1.3406 0.04769 138 97 35 6
848 Alright, who's wearing spice? 1.3404 0.06337 94 69 18 7
849 Seriously, no more hollow promises, . 1.3404 0.05770 94 66 24 4
850 I've decided to enter you all in the holiday bakeoff. 1.3402 0.06198 97 71 19 7
851 We’re going through a rough patch. 1.3402 0.06535 97 73 15 9
852 You will all go into the field as mystery shoppers. 1.3402 0.05654 97 68 25 4
853 Well, once again, I'm sorry to say, nobody has volunteered to be the Great Pumpkin. 1.3400 0.05898 100 72 22 6
854 You can't imagine how much better I felt after going to that wonderful dentist. 1.3400 0.06067 100 73 20 7
855 Of course, by mid-November this will all be moot. 1.3400 0.06067 100 73 20 7
856 As Chairman of the Gourd, I understand the term "seed financing" may raise some concerns.... 1.3398 0.05943 103 75 21 7
857 None of you have the guts to innovate anything 1.3398 0.06101 103 76 19 8
858 Ironically, the only way to bring some smiles to this boardroom is to make some additional cuts. 1.3398 0.06101 103 76 19 8
859 So it’s agreed…Oct 31st will be a work-day ! 1.3398 0.05943 103 75 21 7
860 Look at the bright side, we could all be watermelons. 1.3396 0.05509 106 75 26 5
861 I'm guessing by your faces that you don't have good news. 1.3394 0.05861 109 80 21 8
862 It’s time to announce a change of the gourd. 1.3394 0.05861 109 80 21 8
863 The board would like us to consider diversifying our hiring practices. 1.3394 0.05714 109 79 23 7
864 And after that, the squirrels will start eating our heads. 1.3393 0.05750 112 82 22 8
865 Sales are down and some heads are going to smash. 1.3393 0.05463 112 80 26 6
866 Why is productivity so low in November? 1.3391 0.05368 115 82 27 6
867 As president of the Gourd of Directors, I've carved out a new plan. 1.3388 0.05449 121 88 25 8
868 ‘We’ve saved thousands by eliminating dental benefits.’ 1.3388 0.05574 121 89 23 9
869 Exciting news. We're merging...with candles! 1.3387 0.05357 124 90 26 8
870 We need a strong strategy to overtake Mr. Potato Head.. 1.3385 0.05520 130 97 22 11
871 So, we all agree; the expression "pumpkin head" is derogatory, and can not be used on any social media outlet. 1.3385 0.05627 130 98 20 12
872 Why all the frowning faces? I'm only going to smash one of you! 1.3378 0.05123 148 110 26 12
873 This is much more effective in person than on Zoom 1.3375 0.06400 80 57 19 4
874 To comply with the diversity guidelines, 5 of you will be replaced by witches. 1.3375 0.06877 80 59 15 6
875 Not very bright, is he? 1.3373 0.06006 83 58 22 3
876 Where did you’ll think pumpkin spice came from? 1.3373 0.06700 83 61 16 6
877 OK then. Let's take a vote. Trick or Treat? 1.3372 0.05874 86 60 23 3
878 This year, I want us to be more than the face of Halloween! 1.3371 0.06769 89 67 14 8
879 Hey guys, Welcome to the first meeting of the diversity committee. 1.3370 0.05840 92 65 23 4
880 And tonight's coach driver is... 1.3370 0.05840 92 65 23 4
881 If you think that you can carve into my territory, then you don't know Jack. 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
882 So we’re gonna have to make some cuts. 1.3368 0.05521 95 66 26 3
883 So that’s zero votes for Smashing Pumpkins performing at the annual meeting. 1.3368 0.05913 95 68 22 5
884 I think we would make the right decision if we had any guts. 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
885 We had a smashing good year" 1.3367 0.05792 98 70 23 5
886 Due to the current economic outlook,we are going to have to make a few more cuts. 1.3367 0.05971 98 71 21 6
887 I can't tell if you're all happy or sad about being off the porch and back in the office again 1.3366 0.06178 101 75 18 8
888 Managers will not refer to anyone as ‘pumpkin,’ regardless of how they identify. 1.3365 0.05569 104 74 25 5
889 The good news is your jobs are secure until November 1st. 1.3365 0.05569 104 74 25 5
890 I'll need your pie charts by noon 1.3365 0.05734 104 75 23 6
891 Yes, but we will all be gone November first 1.3365 0.06051 104 77 19 8
892 Soon our jobs will be taken by turkeys. 1.3365 0.06203 104 78 17 9
893 This way, we can get a piece of the pie. 1.3364 0.05930 107 79 20 8
894 Team, this year I’d really like us to put the WE in Halloween. 1.3364 0.05957 110 82 19 9
895 The new employee healthcare plan will only cover 2 candles a month 1.3364 0.05368 110 78 27 5
896 Well, I for one, I’m glad that Mr. potato head is gone. What say you? 1.3363 0.05275 113 80 28 5
897 As you can see, we’ve had to make some disappointing cuts. 1.3363 0.05844 113 84 20 9
898 Gentlemen,we have to carve out a new policy! 1.3363 0.05567 113 82 24 7
899 Now I know that some people are saying our board needs more diversity... 1.3363 0.06108 113 86 16 11
900 Unfortunately,with the rise in popularity of a certain Thanksgiving dessert,we can expect a sizable loss in labor this quarter. 1.3362 0.05736 116 86 21 9
901 All in favor of the carveouts say "aye" 1.3361 0.06000 119 91 16 12
902 I am proud that every one of us are capable of carrying a light inside. 1.3361 0.05656 122 91 21 10
903 I know people love pumpkin pie; people are sick. 1.3360 0.05321 125 91 26 8
904 C’mon, people, we can’t all be Jack. A Harry, Earl, Mabel…anyone? 1.3360 0.05558 125 93 22 10
905 Our new Director of Diversity is a potato head. 1.3359 0.05686 128 97 19 12
906 It's pumpkin spice season gentlemen, and you know what that means! Sacrifice. 1.3333 0.05474 90 62 26 2
907 Gentlemen, we are being acquired by Starbucks. 1.3333 0.06398 96 72 16 8
908 We're forecasting strength through the end of this month, followed by rapid deterioration. 1.3333 0.05911 111 83 19 9
909 Now: who’s going to be the pumpkin pie donor this year? 1.3333 0.06675 87 65 15 7
910 Thank you for carving out time to meet. 1.3333 0.06746 78 57 16 5
911 Just think of it, gentlemen: Pumpkin Spice Old Spice! 1.3333 0.06002 105 78 19 8
912 Yes, she carved me with a smile -- any objections? 1.3333 0.05801 102 74 22 6
913 I plan to can all of you before Thanksgiving. 1.3333 0.06224 96 71 18 7
914 Thanks to you, this company is a real Cinderella story. 1.3333 0.04932 114 79 32 3
915 Where’s the pie chart? 1.3333 0.06546 93 70 15 8
916 This board couldn’t hold a candle to the last one. 1.3333 0.05525 105 75 25 5
917 I’m sorry to tell you, but you’re all going to be replaced by Santa Claus on 1st November. 1.3333 0.05883 108 80 20 8
918 I received an inquiry from Musk about our corporate culture".. 1.3333 0.06091 99 73 19 7
919 I decided there will be no awards for Halloween costumes this year 1.3333 0.05627 111 81 23 7
920 Can I get a smile? 1.3333 0.06412 84 61 18 5
921 Now, now, gentleman, we've all had to endure some cuts. 1.3333 0.06002 105 78 19 8
922 I’d like each of you to introduce yourself and tell us something unique about you 1.3333 0.06989 78 58 14 6
923 If we don’t meet our corporate objectives for October, heads will roll. 1.3333 0.06309 108 83 14 11
924 Due to a shortage of pumpkin spice, some of you will be... relocated. 1.3333 0.05525 105 75 25 5
925 Thanks for carving out a little time this afternoon to meet. 1.3333 0.06261 87 63 19 5
926 As of November 1st, you're all redundant. 1.3333 0.05593 120 89 22 9
927 Let’s start with a moment of silence for Jack, who would have been here had he not been eaten by squirrels. 1.3333 0.05966 102 75 20 7
928 Okay Jack, let’s hear from you first 1.3333 0.06044 87 62 21 4
929 - "I understand your concerns, but I really think this could light a fire in all of us" 1.3333 0.05383 114 82 26 6
930 HR would like us to address an alleged nepotism issue. 1.3333 0.06283 102 77 16 9
931 At least one of us is happy. 1.3333 0.05237 114 81 28 5
932 Burnout?! Maybe you just aren't cut out for this job! 1.3333 0.06046 96 70 20 6
933 Explain to me again why we need a Chief Diversity Officer. 1.3333 0.05688 105 76 23 6
934 I lowered the temperature in the room so we have more than the usual 2 weeks to make decisions for next year. 1.3307 0.05130 127 92 28 7
935 Gentlemen, all of these ideas are hollow. 1.3306 0.05213 124 90 27 7
936 Why do you pumpkin heads look so grim? It's Halloween, after all 1.3306 0.04955 124 88 31 5
937 I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're all getting bonuses on November 1st. The bad news is we're paying you in candy corn. 1.3305 0.05652 118 88 21 9
938 Their gonna rip our guts out if we miss earnings… 1.3305 0.05523 118 87 23 8
939 I'm telling you, the fourth quarter is always our highest for some reason. 1.3304 0.05344 115 83 26 6
940 The Headless Horseman started this company with just anger at the townsfolk and a dream... 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
941 The Fall Witness Protection Program meeting is now underway. 1.3304 0.06001 112 85 17 10
942 Oh come on! Not everyone here can be named Jack! 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
943 Does anyone else always feel light-headed this time of year? 1.3303 0.05837 109 81 20 8
944 You all know the drill… if we can’t carve out a profit, heads are gonna roll! 1.3302 0.05143 106 74 29 3
945 Such a relief to see the diversity, equity and inclusion efforts are paying off. 1.3302 0.05953 106 79 19 8
946 Your jobs will change from scaring people to flavoring lattés. 1.3301 0.06075 103 77 18 8
947 Stalks are up! 1.3301 0.06230 103 78 16 9
948 i can’t see shit outta this fuckin thing 1.3301 0.05917 103 76 20 7
949 I vote that we make Halloween a national holiday. 1.3300 0.05515 100 71 25 4
950 Well, I’m smiling because I am retiring before the first frost! 1.3298 0.06307 94 70 17 7
951 It's nice to see so many new faces here. 1.3298 0.06307 94 70 17 7
952 What I’m proposing, is that we need a little more diversity on our board. 1.3298 0.06307 94 70 17 7
953 Let’s face it, gentlemen. We’ve got maybe a week before we bottom out. 1.3298 0.05534 94 66 25 3
954 We’re not leaving this room until someone figures out how we can stay relevant come November first. 1.3297 0.06063 91 66 20 5
955 Gentlemen, I’m not happy at all with this quarter’s report but as you know, I have no choice but to grin and bear it. 1.3297 0.05646 91 64 24 3
956 'We need to offer more unpaid lanternships.' 1.3295 0.06609 88 66 15 7
957 No, Johnson, pumpkin spice cocaine is just too far. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
958 Think, people. How do we stop the pumpkin spice craze? 1.3289 0.06321 76 54 19 3
959 No one wants to listen to old, white men this time of year 1.3280 0.05301 125 92 25 8
960 The bashings will continue, until morale improves. 1.3279 0.05263 122 89 26 7
961 I want to light a fire in each of you. 1.3277 0.05860 119 91 17 11
962 And to reduce our electricity bill, we’re issuing candles to all employees. 1.3277 0.05483 119 88 23 8
963 The new campaign is going to be smashing 1.3277 0.05217 119 86 27 6
964 Not my problem that your owners chose to give you a frown. 1.3276 0.05306 116 84 26 6
965 So we’re going to carve out a plan to squash the opposition 1.3276 0.05714 116 87 20 9
966 We have to accept the diversity means including butternut, spaghetti and all the others. 1.3274 0.06215 113 88 13 12
967 Now that we all have ours heads on straight, lets talk about why candy corn is not a good product. 1.3274 0.05684 113 84 21 8
968 And finally, I'd like to inform you all that the company dental plan will now be managed by our Marketing Department. 1.3274 0.05543 113 83 23 7
969 This year we have decided to add a pumpkin spice flavor to our product, and so I am asking all of you to, ahem,"contribute". 1.3271 0.05754 107 79 21 7
970 I think it’s a smashing idea. 1.3269 0.05707 104 76 22 6
971 Let’s get this Cabinet meeting started. And, you need to smile. 1.3269 0.05541 104 75 24 5
972 A Republican caucus. 1.3267 0.06310 101 77 15 9
973 I'm glad you could all carve time out of your day to be here. 1.3267 0.05286 101 71 27 3
974 Sorry, Elon Musk just bought Halloween. 1.3267 0.06151 101 76 17 8
975 All the indications are pointing to a rotten November. 1.3265 0.05941 98 72 20 6
976 We'd better ask the eggheads. 1.3265 0.06285 98 74 16 8
977 I think it's time that we choose a new head. 1.3263 0.06250 95 71 17 7
978 Welcome to the Gourd of Directors meeting. 1.3261 0.05806 92 66 22 4
979 As your Chair, none of you can hold a candle to me. 1.3261 0.06203 92 68 18 6
980 In the coming year, we will be hiring outside the gourd family for diversity. 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
981 But there's always Thanksgiving! 1.3261 0.05151 92 63 28 1
982 'Heads together on this issue...but carefully' 1.3261 0.06203 92 68 18 6
983 None of you are cut out to lead the new division. 1.3261 0.05596 92 65 24 3
984 We have been asked about the lack of Jill-O'-Lanterns. 1.3258 0.06143 89 65 19 5
985 Jack, I agree, board diversity should be top priority. 1.3258 0.06347 89 66 17 6
986 I'm going to squash that idea. 1.3258 0.05712 89 63 23 3
987 So, I go by the name Jacqueline now. 🎃 1.3258 0.06737 89 68 13 8
988 One more bad quarter and that’s all of our heads sitting on some porch 1.3256 0.06707 86 65 14 7
989 Who wants to be on the diversity committee? 1.3256 0.06286 86 63 18 5
990 Shares are down but you'll get your piece of the pie 1.3256 0.06707 86 65 14 7
991 I don't think this board has the guts! 1.3256 0.06286 86 63 18 5
992 In order to grow the pie, one of you has to be canned. 1.3250 0.05181 120 87 27 6
993 So, gentlemen, are we all of the same mind? 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
994 We're merging with Ginsu. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
995 I’m asking for volunteers to be ushers at the Smashing Pumpkins concert. 1.3243 0.05888 111 84 18 9
996 Elon said that some heads are going to roll. 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
997 the UK decision to have a new PM for each festive period was unusual but looking forward to see what they do for Bonfire Night... 1.3243 0.06117 74 52 20 2
998 I’ve always said that a smile goes a long way in this business 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
999 Unfortunately the patch we’re in now is… a rough one. Stalks are way down. 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1000 You heard of the Great Pumpkin? Yep, I'm him! 1.3241 0.05858 108 81 19 8
1001 It's clear that our time here is limited. 1.3241 0.05397 108 78 25 5
1002 We still need a volunteer to supply the pie for our holiday party. 1.3238 0.05496 105 76 24 5
1003 Before we start today,may I please remind everyone that we are still business dress in the office which includes a well-coiffed stem. 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1004 I'm glad to see we're all of like mind. 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1005 Ichabod Crane is coming tonight and he wants a new head. 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1006 I'd just like to pick your brains for a minute. 1.3235 0.05243 102 72 27 3
1007 ...and the winner of the most oiginal halloween costume is... 1.3235 0.05938 102 76 19 7
1008 I'm a self-carved businessman. 1.3235 0.05938 102 76 19 7
1009 Trust me, I'm not happy about this either! 1.3235 0.05206 136 102 24 10
1010 I'm afraid your services will no longer be needed after October 31st. 1.3232 0.05712 99 72 22 5
1011 My friends, I sit before you today as living proof that it really is possible to turn those frowns upside down! 1.3232 0.06553 99 77 12 10
1012 Keep on gourd! We’re here to squash the competition. 1.3232 0.06062 99 74 18 7
1013 I think we can all agree. Squirrels are biting into our profit.” 1.3229 0.05440 96 68 25 3
1014 If earnings don't improve, heads will roll. 1.3229 0.06194 96 72 17 7
1015 I need you to think outside the patch. 1.3229 0.06194 96 72 17 7
1016 We are pleased to announce that HR specialists Peter Peter LLC will help ease us through the downsizing operation. 1.3229 0.06194 96 72 17 7
1017 Assuming no objections, I hereby renew my position as Chairman of the Gourd. 1.3229 0.05829 96 70 21 5
1018 Rot or not, we do expect you all to be here on November 1st. 1.3229 0.05638 96 69 23 4
1019 Musk is making an offer to acquire Halloween." 1.3228 0.05688 127 98 17 12
1020 We're throwing out the whole Board at the end of the month. 1.3226 0.06146 93 69 18 6
1021 Keep us this attitude and I’ll be forced to make more cuts. 1.3226 0.05953 93 68 20 5
1022 Tomorrow, I want to see everyone carve those frowns into smiles. 1.3226 0.05753 93 67 22 4
1023 I have great news. Our next contract includes dental care. 1.3226 0.05953 93 68 20 5
1024 I’m going to need more seed money from each of you. 1.3226 0.05753 93 67 22 4
1025 Gentlemen,corporate is looking to make some additional cuts 1.3223 0.05532 121 91 21 9
1026 Let's skip announcing our preferred pronouns and get down to business.... 1.3223 0.05655 121 92 19 10
1027 I’m glad we all chose to wear pumpkins on our head today, but why am I the only one grinning? 1.3222 0.06286 90 67 17 6
1028 Where's Potato Head? 1.3222 0.06286 90 67 17 6
1029 It has come to the shareholders’ attention that there are more Jack’s than women on the board 1.3220 0.05367 118 87 24 7
1030 A cyberattack exploited weaknesses in our face id system" 1.3218 0.06436 87 65 16 6
1031 I can't believe we all wore the same costume again this year. 1.3218 0.06436 87 65 16 6
1032 Today, pumpkin spice. Tomorrow, the world! 1.3217 0.05599 115 86 21 8
1033 Look, let’s not lose our heads over this. 1.3214 0.05560 112 83 22 7
1034 I've noticed that no matter what I say your expressions never change. 1.3214 0.06144 84 61 19 4
1035 We’re being replaced by apple spice lattes. We need new ideas! 1.3214 0.05703 112 84 20 8
1036 I'd guess you'll survive a week 1.3214 0.06374 84 62 17 5
1037 The Competition can't hold a candle to us! 1.3211 0.05028 109 77 29 3
1038 Well boys it's the end of the month and we are gonna have to start letting you all go. 1.3211 0.05956 109 83 17 9
1039 There’s going to be some restructuring come November 1st. 1.3210 0.05507 81 56 24 1
1040 H.R. says our lack of diversity is a big problem. 1.3208 0.05773 106 79 20 7
1041 Listen, we’re all pumpkins here. You’re gonna just have to trust me. 1.3208 0.05453 106 77 24 5
1042 Good news! We’re now part of Starbucks. Unfortunately, this means some of you may be spiced this fall. 1.3208 0.05927 106 80 18 8
1043 We need some spice in this boardroom! 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
1044 Some of you may not be cut out for this job. 1.3205 0.05911 78 55 21 2
1045 I am very pleased to announce our newest board member, Peter Peter. 1.3204 0.06048 103 78 17 8
1046 Let's come up with another plan besides squashing the competition. 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1047 ...And I can promise you this, if you don't make your October quotas heads will roll here at Sleepy Hollow Industries! 1.3203 0.05426 128 97 21 10
1048 I don't need any self-tanner for my Donald Trump costume. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
1049 We need better ideas. You all have mush for brains! 1.3200 0.05664 100 73 22 5
1050 Right now, your heads are your biggest asset. 1.3200 0.06176 100 76 16 8
1051 Jack’s right. Pie it is. 1.3200 0.05664 100 73 22 5
1052 Our costume party should be fun; I would just ask that you try to be original. 1.3200 0.05840 100 74 20 6
1053 I propose we settle this on the squash court 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
1054 What you call brainstorming I call squash! 1.3196 0.05961 97 72 19 6
1055 Carve for the job you want, not the job you have. 1.3196 0.05589 97 70 23 4
1056 On a side note, it seems like none of our employees are taking advantage of their dental allowance." 1.3191 0.06275 94 71 16 7
1057 And this year’s winner for best costume goes to Gord. 1.3191 0.05702 94 68 22 4
1058 On the brighter side, gentlemen, we are now represented in every product at Trader Joe's! 1.3191 0.06630 94 73 12 9
1059 There can only be one Great Pumpkin. 1.3191 0.06630 94 73 12 9
1060 Effective November 1st, we are getting into the pie business. 1.3191 0.05899 94 69 20 5
1061 Why so glum? You will live on in pies. 1.3190 0.05821 116 89 17 10
1062 Put that spice in coffee, candles, muffins, whatever. No one listened. Now, who's out of their gourd? 1.3190 0.05821 116 89 17 10
1063 As you know we'll be downsizing at the end of the month... 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1064 The good and bad news is, our profit on pie is soaring! 1.3186 0.05659 113 85 20 8
1065 Does it look like Jack had some work done to you? Something about that smile looks freshly carved… 1.3186 0.05797 113 86 18 9
1066 This year's office party will have a carving station. 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
1067 Good news, so let's carve those frowns upside down! 1.3182 0.04991 110 78 29 3
1068 Jack,what do you think? 1.3182 0.05766 110 83 19 8
1069 Jack, we'd like you to be the face of the business. 1.3182 0.05949 88 64 20 4
1070 Market forecasts show our future’s in pies. 1.3182 0.06574 88 67 14 7
1071 who votes for pie? 1.3178 0.05879 107 81 18 8
1072 Good morning. My name is Peter. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
1073 Gentlemen, I don't need to remind you that it's a scary time of the year 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
1074 So, any ideas on how we make Halloween last more than one night a year? 1.3178 0.05410 107 78 24 5
1075 This is what happens when you spill your guts to the newspapers. 1.3176 0.06083 85 62 19 4
1076 Bob, since your stem fell off, your head will be rotten before the next meeting. 1.3176 0.06083 85 62 19 4
1077 I'm proud to announce our new dental benefits! 1.3176 0.06309 85 63 17 5
1078 Today,ladies & gentlemen,the company is pivoting from Halloween to Pie! 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1079 Seriously, guys, has it been a year since we got lit? 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1080 Let's discuss seed capital 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1081 Who's up for pie? 1.3171 0.06915 82 63 12 7
1082 Let’s pretend Elon bought us! 1.3171 0.06464 82 61 16 5
1083 Alright. Enlighten me. 1.3171 0.06464 82 61 16 5
1084 I can't help being optimistic. I was just carved that way. 1.3168 0.05790 101 75 20 6
1085 Second place gets a set of steak knives. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1086 To ensure diversity, some of you will be replaced by cantaloupes. 1.3168 0.05959 101 76 18 7
1087 At the end of October, I want everyone to stop using self tanning cream. 1.3168 0.06282 101 78 14 9
1088 We need to find ways to become relevant the other eleven months of the year. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1089 Now we all know November is a rotten month… 1.3168 0.05959 101 76 18 7
1090 Let's get started everyone, I can see we all aquired the October variant. Do we see this going viral? 1.3168 0.05959 101 76 18 7
1091 now this won’t be easy to hear, but many of us may not be here come November 1.3168 0.06123 101 77 16 8
1092 Listen, gunk-for-brains: finish the project by October 31st or heads will roll. 1.3167 0.05549 120 91 20 9
1093 I am happy to announce that I will be your new Chairman of the Gourd! 1.3165 0.06630 79 59 15 5
1094 This year, I propose a bigger PR campaign than just Linus. 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
1095 I’m afraid we’ll have to face more cuts. 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
1096 I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting...so am I. My mind's blank. 1.3163 0.06421 98 76 13 9
1097 As the Chaiman of the Gourd I've carved out some time to squash the rumors. 1.3163 0.06255 98 75 15 8
1098 Let's not have any empty-headed remarks today, okay? 1.3163 0.05909 98 73 19 6
1099 Doesn’t matter how much spiced latte they sell. We’re still part of the freakin’ squash family. 1.3163 0.05728 98 72 21 5
1100 Anyone have an original idea? 1.3163 0.06255 98 75 15 8
1101 Thanks to all of you for making this year's Holiday Bake Sale a big success. 1.3162 0.04953 117 84 29 4
1102 Let's carve out some time to meet next week. 1.3158 0.05185 114 83 26 5
1103 I guess you can go far with a smile on your face - and a candle in your head. 1.3158 0.05185 114 83 26 5
1104 So, Jack, what do you think? 1.3158 0.05986 76 54 20 2
1105 Good News! We've bought twitter! 1.3158 0.05753 114 87 18 9
1106 Let's talk turkey! 1.3158 0.06035 95 71 18 6
1107 So,what are we wearing for Halloween? 1.3158 0.05652 95 69 22 4
1108 This switch to electric candles will make us carbon neutral by 2035. 1.3158 0.06272 76 55 18 3
1109 What this company needs is somebody with guts. 1.3152 0.05769 92 67 21 4
1110 Remember, we're not looking to scare away investors. 1.3152 0.06169 92 69 17 6
1111 Let's welcome the guy without a stem on his head to our Diversity Committee! 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1112 Now, who's up for getting smashed and eating pie?" 1.3148 0.05368 108 79 24 5
1113 Anyone have a bright idea? 1.3148 0.05527 108 80 22 6
1114 I wasn’t carved yesterday you know…. 1.3148 0.05831 108 82 18 8
1115 Same as all my good ideas, it's like a candle went off in my head... 1.3148 0.05204 108 78 26 4
1116 ‘Pumpkins that underperform will be Pie’. 1.3148 0.05527 108 80 22 6
1117 By the look on your faces, I am sensing some tension in the room. 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
1118 We are going to smash expectations! 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
1119 Please put your name tags on. 1.3143 0.05120 105 75 27 3
1120 From your expressions, you already heard that we're downsizing. 1.3140 0.06462 86 65 15 6
1121 Just once I'd like to see one of your heads light up with a good idea. 1.3140 0.06670 86 66 13 7
1122 We'll be making some cuts. 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1123 Chin up, children! Remember, no one can hold a candle like you. 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1124 You guys poured your guts out last year and it was a smashing success, but this year I really want us to carve our place in history! 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1125 You've all been transferred to our new Thanksgiving pie division. 1.3136 0.05607 118 90 19 9
1126 Chuck drew the short stem, and I said heads would roll... 1.3133 0.06164 83 61 18 4
1127 Don't think for a second that I'm happy with the results. I'm just carved that way. 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
1128 If we only had a brain! 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
1129 Any other bright ideas? 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1130 Why the sad faces? Two weeks from now all your worries will be over! 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1131 Someone here doesn't have a stem! 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1132 At least we don't look like clowns anymore 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1133 No idea will be squashed. 1.3130 0.05293 115 85 24 6
1134 It appears that no one got the “happy face” memo. 1.3125 0.05981 96 72 18 6
1135 All of you with frowns are to report to the bakery ASAP. 1.3125 0.06162 96 73 16 7
1136 You'll all get a share of the pie. 1.3125 0.05981 96 72 18 6
1137 It's a win-win. This way we can reduce head count AND keep our jobs! 1.3125 0.05234 112 82 25 5
1138 Don't worry. Downsizing will be as easy as pie. 1.3125 0.05234 112 82 25 5
1139 Casual friday means something different in October 1.3125 0.05386 112 83 23 6
1140 Succession? None of you can hold a candle to me! 1.3125 0.05602 96 70 22 4
1141 Good news! We’ve just added spiced latte to your retirement package. 1.3125 0.05677 112 85 19 8
1142 Today I am announcing another cut in administration. 1.3125 0.06162 96 73 16 7
1143 As your new CEO’Lantern I’m announcing cuts to all department heads. 1.3125 0.06559 80 60 15 5
1144 Orange you glad I didn’t say “banana?” 1.3125 0.06087 112 88 13 11
1145 If we want to survive past Q4, we’re gonna need more guts. 1.3125 0.05602 96 70 22 4
1146 Listen carefully, or you'll all be turned to pulp. 1.3119 0.05636 109 82 20 7
1147 I’m sure you all saw the email about our new diversity and equity inclusion initiative. 1.3119 0.05636 109 82 20 7
1148 Great news!!!... we're all invited as special guests to the White House pumpkin carving contest next week. They'll be giving us our bonuses right after dinner! 1.3118 0.06111 93 70 17 6
1149 I've decided, I identify as an apple 1.3118 0.06111 93 70 17 6
1150 Gourd morning, thank you for carving out time for another meeting that could have been an email. 1.3118 0.05716 93 68 21 4
1151 Now, I have some gourd news, and some bad news 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
1152 The Repumpklican Party 1.3117 0.06732 77 58 14 5
1153 Your pay rise will go into effect on November 1st 1.3115 0.05592 122 94 18 10
1154 Well Gentlemen, the Owner has decided we're just too Top-Heavy 1.3115 0.05216 122 91 24 7
1155 Now that Halloween is over, I'm afraid you're all being transferred to the Thanksgiving department. 1.3113 0.06196 106 83 13 10
1156 I’ve got an idea that’s sure to light up your faces! 1.3113 0.05423 106 78 23 5
1157 Let's carve out a solution here. 1.3111 0.06250 90 68 16 6
1158 I want to light a fire in each and every one of you. 1.3111 0.05837 90 66 20 4
1159 I’d like to thank you all for carving out your place at this meeting. 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
1160 Thank you Jack, now let's hear what Jack and Jack have been working on this week. 1.3111 0.06637 90 70 12 8
1161 Jones, why don't you have a stem? 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
1162 Let’s be real: it’s time to carve your enthusiasm. 1.3111 0.06250 90 68 16 6
1163 Surely one of you must have a rhyme for orange. 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
1164 Projections for the fourth quarter are rotten. 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
1165 Our competitions is carving us up. 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
1166 For the upcoming company party, we're going to need two of you for pies. 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
1167 This annual carnage needs to stop! 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
1168 Let’s all put on a happy face. 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
1169 Which brings me to the next item....diversity in the board room. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
1170 On the count of three, everyone smile! 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
1171 I’m looking at a group gutless yes men. Excellent. Let’s begin. 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
1172 Gentlemen, PI is still 22/7ths, pumpkin or geometric, doesn't matter 1.3099 0.06213 71 51 18 2
1173 Is it me, or is it hot in here? 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
1174 I'm not surprised Clay didn't make it to our meeting this morning. He was smashed last night. 1.3097 0.05195 113 83 25 5
1175 Any other empty-headed suggestions? 1.3097 0.05345 113 84 23 6
1176 It’s easy as pie, gentleman. 1.3095 0.05861 84 61 20 3
1177 Don't worry, you all made the cut. 1.3095 0.05350 84 59 24 1
1178 If we can repeat October's sales figures this month, we just might save this company 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
1179 Finally, it is pretty obvious we need to hire a DEAI Director. 1.3095 0.06554 84 64 14 6
1180 Good News: We're all approved Emojis 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
1181 Before we start todays meeting of the Illuminati, did anyone bring the candy corn? 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1182 Let’s put on our happy faces! 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1183 Welcome to your annual candle safety training sessions! 1.3093 0.05152 97 69 26 2
1184 They’ll have our heads. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1185 When i said i wanted to light a fire inside of you all i MEANT it! 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1186 Donald Trump lookalikes gather for a secret meeting with the boss; should be illuminating. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1187 What's the issue with our corporate diversity policy? 1.3091 0.05739 110 84 18 8
1188 As a result of our recent stalk collapse, we must cut staff and yes heads will roll. 1.3091 0.05441 110 82 22 6
1189 Between all of us, we should be able to carve out a solution. 1.3086 0.06489 81 61 15 5
1190 We're seeing record demand for pie. Everyone will have to pitch in. 1.3086 0.06246 81 60 17 4
1191 It looks like pies for the lot of you. 1.3085 0.05665 94 69 21 4
1192 First things first, who dared order the pumpkin spice lattes?!?! 1.3085 0.05665 94 69 21 4
1193 Look, I know a guy who works miracles with a knife..." 1.3085 0.05863 94 70 19 5
1194 I move we adjourn before our brains turn to mush. 1.3085 0.05459 94 68 23 3
1195 We're developing a comprehensive plan to avoid getting smashed after the holiday season. 1.3085 0.05665 94 69 21 4
1196 Congratulations on squashing the competition’s takeover bid. 1.3084 0.05541 107 80 21 6
1197 I found a great Botox place.... 1.3084 0.05379 107 79 23 5
1198 Damn, orange looks good on everybody. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1199 I'm open to any gourd ideas, Jacks. 1.3077 0.05782 91 67 20 4
1200 I thought all of you would be lit up by the news! 1.3077 0.06402 78 58 16 4
1201 What happens in the gourdroom, stays in the gourdroom. 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1202 Let’s not lose our heads…Halloween is just around the corner. 1.3077 0.05647 104 78 20 6
1203 Nice to see you all without masks on this year! 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
1204 Although we come from different places, we all have something in common. 1.3077 0.06402 78 58 16 4
1205 I hear your concerns on the squirrels, but let’s circle back on that closer to Thanksgiving 1.3077 0.05624 117 90 18 9
1206 Thank you all for joining our quarterly Gourd of Directors meeting. 1.3077 0.05990 91 68 18 5
1207 We now control Halloween, so it’s time to take stock in Thanksgiving. 1.3069 0.05403 101 74 23 4
1208 One of you will be the next leader. The rest will be pies. 1.3069 0.05403 101 74 23 4
1209 This year, let's skip the 4th of July window displays and just go right to Halloween. If Christmas can start in September, we can start in July. 1.3068 0.05682 88 64 21 3
1210 Today we carve a new path. 1.3068 0.05202 88 62 25 1
1211 You’ll all be happy to know that full dental benefits are included in next year’s compensation package. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1212 After this, let's get smashed. 1.3067 0.07096 75 58 11 6
1213 I know just how to put smiles on your faces. 1.3061 0.06390 98 77 12 9
1214 I too was stumped but then a candle went off in my head. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
1215 On the count of three everyone named “Jack” light up! 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
1216 No guts, no glory. 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
1217 I’m afraid I will no longer be requiring your services after 1 November 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
1218 Fortunately apple pie remains the nation’s favorite. 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
1219 Much more important than greed, nepotism is good. 1.3059 0.05803 85 62 20 3
1220 First to present will be Jack. 1.3059 0.06487 85 65 14 6
1221 I fear that we've become a shell of our true selves. 1.3059 0.05803 85 62 20 3
1222 What about pies depresses you all? 1.3059 0.05803 85 62 20 3
1223 We’ve been asked to donate to the pie-eating contest. 1.3059 0.06040 85 63 18 4
1224 Let me recarve that. 1.3059 0.05803 85 62 20 3
1225 For a minute, can we all stop being so empty-headed? 1.3059 0.05803 85 62 20 3
1226 Sorry everybody… it’s been a good run but pumpkin spice is officially done. 1.3058 0.04958 121 89 27 5
1227 Does anyone want a Starbucks? 1.3056 0.06141 72 52 18 2
1228 We obviously have no board diversity requirement, but it’s concerning that we’re all named Jack. 1.3056 0.05497 108 81 21 6
1229 Jack I don’t think introductions are necessary. 1.3056 0.05337 108 80 23 5
1230 Don’t be alarmed but we were just acquired by a major pie-making company. 1.3056 0.05803 108 83 17 8
1231 I know you’re all upset that my father left me the company, but I am the next of pump-kin. 1.3053 0.05810 95 71 19 5
1232 You all need to work on your affect this year 1.3053 0.05614 95 70 21 4
1233 Come on now, turn those frowns upside down. 1.3053 0.06000 95 72 17 6
1234 I’m sorry, it’s rotten, but we have to make cuts. 1.3049 0.06181 82 61 17 4
1235 ...and since it's not a requirement to look like a pumpkin to own the company, let's entertain Mr. Musk's offer. 1.3049 0.05933 82 60 19 3
1236 Some of us are cut out for this kind of work. You might say we have a fire inside of us. 1.3049 0.06181 82 61 17 4
1237 I’m looking for a volunteer for the pumpkin soup. 1.3048 0.05434 105 78 22 5
1238 Four words, gentlemen: pumpkin, spice, nasal, spray. 1.3043 0.05934 92 69 18 5
1239 Why all the grim faces? 1.3043 0.05517 92 67 22 3
1240 As of November 1st, you're all fired. 1.3043 0.05934 92 69 18 5
1241 So, apparently ‘Punkin Head’ from the mail room married the owner’s daughter. 1.3043 0.05934 92 69 18 5
1242 Any ideas on how to maintain our relevance as we move into the new year? 1.3043 0.07809 69 55 7 7
1243 Anyone hear not named Jack? 1.3043 0.06324 92 71 14 7
1244 Who has ideas on how to get ahead? 1.3043 0.05934 92 69 18 5
1245 I’m pleased to announce that pumpkin pie is no longer on our lunch menu. 1.3043 0.05517 92 67 22 3
1246 Put on a happy face. 1.3043 0.05729 92 68 20 4
1247 It the next few weeks expect to be eaten by squirrels, rotting to nothing, then discarded. But first, your thoughts on next year. 1.3043 0.05934 92 69 18 5
1248 Let’s not lose our heads over this Pumpkin Late craze. 1.3039 0.05536 102 76 21 5
1249 I need you to find 11,780 more votes to keep me from being baked into a pie. 1.3039 0.05877 102 78 17 7
1250 I take it that's a "No" vote on having a pumpkin smashing contest at this year's Halloween party? 1.3039 0.05709 102 77 19 6
1251 What do you say we go get smashed tonight? 1.3039 0.05709 102 77 19 6
1252 Now, let me explain the pie-chart... 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
1253 I see that we are of one mind here. 1.3038 0.05797 79 57 20 2
1254 We need ways to escape the image of being so damn seasonal. 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
1255 We've been bought out by Mr. Potato Head! 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
1256 So, which one of you is the diversity consultant? 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
1257 Then it’s settled. We’re going with pecan and apple. 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
1258 I know I've kept you here late, but in my defense, who takes the expression 'turn into a pumpkin' literally 1.3036 0.05649 112 86 18 8
1259 So what if we call our company the pumpkin patch? 1.3034 0.05397 89 64 23 2
1260 Glad to have everyone back in the office and together again. So let’s turn those frowns upside down!! 1.3034 0.05628 89 65 21 3
1261 Let’s nail down the graphics—and remember, no pie charts! 1.3034 0.06472 89 69 13 7
1262 Christmas party's coming up in two months, if anyone cares. 1.3033 0.05320 122 93 21 8
1263 Why the sad faces? Smashing Pumpkins band is headlining our Halloween party downstairs in the atrium and you're all invited... 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
1264 Jack, thank you for your input. Jack...? 1.3030 0.05266 99 72 24 3
1265 Ok, here’s my idea. Human spiced lattes! 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
1266 If we are going to be productive, we can’t all be Jack. 1.3028 0.05607 109 83 19 7
1267 Apparently, HR received an anonymous complaint about nepotism… 1.3028 0.05756 109 84 17 8
1268 I really appreciate how everyone has gotten on board this month’s holiday theme! 1.3028 0.05607 109 83 19 7
1269 And after such a strong October, we’re predicting demand will only continue to rise in November. 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
1270 Next month's loyalty test will be turkey helmets. 1.3026 0.07014 76 59 11 6
1271 Wow, you all look so different in person. 1.3026 0.06759 76 58 13 5
1272 Anyone want to go get smashed? 1.3023 0.06421 86 66 14 6
1273 If you're wondering where Jack is, he's been canned. 1.3023 0.06421 86 66 14 6
1274 In the name of diversity call me Donald. 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
1275 Supreme Court of the United States 1.3023 0.06421 86 66 14 6
1276 Gourd work everyone. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
1277 Postponing this discussion until next month is a rotten idea. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
1278 Use your heads. 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
1279 so we all agree we hire the Spice Girls 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
1280 I don't think you need me to point out that we can expect the next quarter to be soft. 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
1281 Trick or treat. It's right in your contracts. 1.3021 0.06475 96 76 11 9
1282 Good news… our pie chart shows a holiday increase! 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
1283 We believe we can copyright that politician's color. 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
1284 I called this meeting to consider the proposed merger with Amalgamated Cantaloupe. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
1285 from the looks on everyone’s faces, I assume you’ve heard about the restructuring plans. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
1286 Good news: We’ve had a smashing quarter. Bad news: You’ll be smashed next quarter. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
1287 This year we will launch a holiday marketing campaign targeting Christmas. 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
1288 Profits are down. One of you is pumpkin pie. 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
1289 I can turn you into respected and well-paid executives, but that only lasts until midnight. 1.3014 0.06376 73 54 16 3
1290 I hate to inform that you will not be getting your Halloween Boonus this year 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
1291 Why the glum faces? 1.3012 0.06580 83 64 13 6
1292 I fired the CEO and CFO. Peter, Peter starts tomorrow! 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
1293 Smile! 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
1294 You don’t have to call me the Chairman, just the Head Pumpkin 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
1295 ‘We need five volunteers for pumpkin pie.’ 1.3011 0.05467 93 68 22 3
1296 Boss, how do we Jack Our Lantern sales up? 1.3010 0.05827 103 79 17 7
1297 Now that I have you all here. It's time we discussed the Great Pumpkin visit to the company. 1.3010 0.05132 103 75 25 3
1298 Come on, let's put a happy face on it 1.3010 0.05490 103 77 21 5
1299 And there will have to be more cuts. 1.3008 0.04751 123 90 29 4
1300 Let's patch up all our differences, carve out some time to try to illuminate the problems and make headway before the 31st. 1.3000 0.05596 100 75 20 5
1301 Let's give 'em pumpkin to talk about. 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
1302 For some of you it will be lights out. 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
1303 I suggest you carve your frowns upside-downs. 1.3000 0.05596 100 75 20 5
1304 We definitely couldn’t have done this on Zoom. 1.3000 0.06007 90 68 17 5
1305 We need a good plan for the 31st, any ideas? 1.3000 0.06113 100 78 14 8
1306 This is important: I don’t want to see any goofy smiles, or hear any empty headed comments! 1.3000 0.05596 100 75 20 5
1307 What's with the empty faces? Lighten up! 1.3000 0.06211 90 69 15 6
1308 Boo---who said that 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
1309 I want to focus on our goals for November 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
1310 Corporate layoffs will begin November 1st. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1311 All in favor of making Farmer McGregor our honorary chairman, say aye. 1.3000 0.05347 90 65 23 2
1312 I'd like to call this gourd meeting to order. 1.3000 0.06007 90 68 17 5
1313 I´ve been told that the pumpkins should rot off our heads in a month or two. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1314 You’re all Pumpkin Heads to me … But, don’t worry no one else will notice. 1.3000 0.05946 100 77 16 7
1315 Jack's the only one with bright ideas. The rest of you have mush and seeds for brains. 1.3000 0.05946 100 77 16 7
1316 OK, who called the gourd meeting? 1.3000 0.05222 100 73 24 3
1317 Gentlemen, we’re adding a dental plan! 1.3000 0.06409 90 70 13 7
1318 Well jack are we getting lit this week 1.3000 0.05596 100 75 20 5
1319 The investors are spooked! 1.3000 0.05946 100 77 16 7
1320 The Gourd Board meeting is hereby adjourned 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
1321 I’m your new boss—your old boss was promoted to the landfill. 1.2991 0.05855 117 93 13 11
1322 Hopefully, you will find my optimism to be infectious. 1.2991 0.05510 107 81 20 6
1323 The B shares vote “trick”. 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
1324 We have to make a decision before our heads rot or the squirrels get us 1.2990 0.05317 97 71 23 3
1325 Gentlemen,by the end of October we will be a smashing success 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
1326 I’ve got gourd news and bad news for this quarter. 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
1327 Seems this year has been scary enough, we’ve been asked to lighten up a little more. 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
1328 So, who volunteers to have their brains scooped out and eaten this year? 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1329 Who gets the spice? 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
1330 Now that I own Twitter… 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
1331 The good news is you are all an hour early. The bad news is you are all starting to rot. 1.2989 0.06356 87 67 14 6
1332 Listen, I can give you the tools to carve out a plan, but only you can set your face on fire. 1.2989 0.06356 87 67 14 6
1333 Thoughts and prayers to those of you who’ve lost loved ones to lattes and pies. 1.2987 0.06421 77 58 15 4
1334 Frankly, it goes without saying that our diversity training has been immensely successful. 1.2987 0.06149 77 57 17 3
1335 If next quarter’s results don’t improve, heads are going to roll. 1.2987 0.06149 77 57 17 3
1336 I've asked Jack to update us on our workplace diversity initiative. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
1337 Bad news, “Pumpkin” is not the new black. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
1338 It’s unanimous. We ban Halloween! 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1339 I've called in our chef to make pumpkin pies! 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1340 Anybody here want soup, pie, or a spice latte? 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1341 We’re all smiling now, but we’re limited to seasonal work. 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
1342 Am I the only one smiling? 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
1343 After your recent performance, it's time to smash some heads! 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
1344 Who cares about diversity? 1.2979 0.05202 94 68 24 2
1345 The question gentlemen, is what do we hope to accomplish before we start to rot and deer and squirrels eat what's left of our brains? 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
1346 I’m afraid some of you are not going to make it past Thanksgiving 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
1347 C'mon, lets turn those frowns upside down! 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
1348 Smile, guys. We just cornered the candy corn market! 1.2979 0.05625 94 70 20 4
1349 we need to carve a niche 1.2976 0.06055 84 63 17 4
1350 Starting in November you will address me as Jacqueline-o'-lantern. 1.2976 0.06938 84 67 9 8
1351 Okay, first, maybe you could all put on a happy face. 1.2976 0.05813 84 62 19 3
1352 On the plus side, we're still ahead of the Thanksgiving turkey! 1.2976 0.05813 84 62 19 3
1353 Okay boys, DEI says we need to bring in the witches. 1.2976 0.05813 84 62 19 3
1354 If they think that we are rotten now, just wait until mid November after all the ballots are counted. 1.2973 0.06865 74 57 12 5
1355 Of all the empty headed suggestions. 1.2973 0.06303 74 55 16 3
1356 We hit a rough patch and must let some of you go. 1.2973 0.06865 74 57 12 5
1357 All of you are invited to the annual squash tournament this year. 1.2970 0.05548 101 76 20 5
1358 Perfect, enough for ten pies! 1.2970 0.05548 101 76 20 5
1359 Yeah, well, I guess I had a big advantage when they carved a smile on my face. 1.2970 0.05367 101 75 22 4
1360 Who wants to volunteer for the compost committee. 1.2970 0.05894 101 78 16 7
1361 Always the maverick, Kevin from accounting did not raise his stem 1.2970 0.05548 101 76 20 5
1362 . “Now on a lighter note: Turn those frowns upside down. It’s Halloween!” 1.2970 0.06060 101 79 14 8
1363 Are there no flickers left in those empty heads of yours? 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
1364 What do you say we go electric? 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
1365 I Come to enlighten you 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
1366 Don’t worry gentlemen, the pumpkin should rot off of our heads in a month or two 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
1367 Why the glum faces? It’s literally our only profitable month! 1.2963 0.06442 81 62 14 5
1368 I was the only one carved with a smile, so I'm the only one getting a bonus. 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
1369 Elon Musk's first day at Twitter 1.2963 0.06904 81 64 10 7
1370 I may look happy, but I'm very disappointed in all of you." 1.2963 0.06442 81 62 14 5
1371 I’d like to liquidate our position in pumpkin spice for moral reasons. 1.2959 0.05468 98 73 21 4
1372 We don’t have ears. That’s a problem. 1.2959 0.06017 98 76 15 7
1373 Can we all agree that we have much more in common than that which separates us? 1.2959 0.05657 98 74 19 5
1374 Ok, who's got a light? 1.2959 0.06017 98 76 15 7
1375 Ok boys…I don’t want to hear that any of you are going soft on me. 1.2959 0.05468 98 73 21 4
1376 There has been talk that some of us are out of our Gourd … 1.2959 0.05468 98 73 21 4
1377 Jack, could you start us off? 1.2959 0.06017 98 76 15 7
1378 I think we need to light a fire in each of us! 1.2958 0.07062 71 55 11 5
1379 I see someone forgot his stalk. Want to talk about it, Mort??? 1.2958 0.06771 71 54 13 4
1380 I don't need to see light bulbs coming on over your heads, but a flicker or two from inside would be nice. 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
1381 Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater has bought our company. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
1382 Unfortunately, I must warn you that the prospectus we’re about to review does contain pie charts. 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
1383 Somebody has to be Latte this year, volunteer or I’ll choose. 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
1384 Get ready, next month it's turkeys! 1.2955 0.06497 88 69 12 7
1385 I’ll be collecting all your candles at the end of this meeting. We have to downsize. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
1386 The raucous applause heard after the Chairman’s line about lighting a fire in each of them had become a kind of muted disillusionment as he then noted that he’d first need to make a nice stew from their insides. 1.2955 0.05863 88 66 18 4
1387 The hospital board's presentation on new seasonal-themed Personal Protective Equipment wasn't as smashing as hoped. Everyone left feeling carved, gutted, and falsely represented. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
1388 Welcome to the new Gourd Room! 1.2952 0.05228 105 78 23 4
1389 I’m afraid you’re all being terminated November 1st. 1.2952 0.05567 105 80 19 6
1390 Welcome Twitter team! Today, is your early retirement day! 1.2952 0.05887 105 82 15 8
1391 First off, which one of you is Dave? 1.2952 0.05567 105 80 19 6
1392 I can't imagine why our company is being accused of nepotism. 1.2949 0.06350 78 59 15 4
1393 Okay, go ahead, Jack. No, the other Jack. No, not you, the other, other Jack. Oh, this is getting us nowhere. 1.2949 0.06607 78 60 13 5
1394 We gotta stop them from using our dead head to scare thier kind. 1.2949 0.06607 78 60 13 5
1395 As a condition of you're employment, you must all legally change your name to Jack. 1.2947 0.06327 95 75 12 8
1396 Finally! No more masks this year. 1.2947 0.05157 95 69 24 2
1397 We have to finish this meeting before our heads rot 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
1398 And, I'm happy to announce, you're all slated to get smashed on October 31! 1.2941 0.05993 85 64 17 4
1399 Welcome to the therapy group for the cruel and unusually mauled. 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
1400 Sorry gentlemen, we don't use pie charts this time of the year. Leo Lane Petaluma, CA 1.2941 0.05755 85 63 19 3
1401 I'm sure you've all noticed that things are a little frightening right now. 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
1402 We’ll break now for apple-cider donuts and apple cider or pumpkin-spice lattes. 1.2941 0.05993 85 64 17 4
1403 We will all burnout by the end of the month. 1.2941 0.05993 85 64 17 4
1404 Let’s get our heads together and carve out a plan 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
1405 HR has informed me that you all called Susan 'pumpkin' again. She's filed complaints. Let's remember our workplace harassment policies... I don't want to have heads roll during our busy season. 1.2941 0.04944 102 74 26 2
1406 As chairman of the gourd, I handpicked my team from the best pumpkin patches in the industry 1.2941 0.05675 102 78 18 6
1407 Cheer up - these are a lot more comfortable than the Thanksgiving Turkey Heads! 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
1408 So I'm waiting for the train, and this gourd comes up to me. And, you know how gourds have those gross, fucked-up warts all over them? Not all gourds, of course. Just, you know, most of them. Oh, come on. Don't give me that look — you know it's true! 1.2935 0.06286 92 72 13 7
1409 ...so at midnight, you will turn into people. 1.2935 0.06286 92 72 13 7
1410 Thank you for joining me for our monthly Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion meeting. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
1411 These are exciting times to be a pumpkin 1.2935 0.06655 92 74 9 9
1412 Whose head will decorate my porch THIS YEAR? 1.2935 0.05473 92 68 21 3
1413 So, folks, here's the deal. We've got a guy riding around on horseback without a head. Who's in on this? . 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
1414 Lighten up! 1.2933 0.07045 75 59 10 6
1415 In todays meeting, I’d like to pick all of your brains. But don’t worry—I’ll roast them with salt for our afternoon snack. 1.2933 0.06785 75 58 12 5
1416 Chew over the pie chart. 1.2931 0.05340 116 89 20 7
1417 Come on! Whatever happened all those smiling faces. 1.2929 0.05420 99 74 21 4
1418 Now, let's hear from Jack. 1.2929 0.05607 99 75 19 5
1419 I've hired an expert carver to turn your frowns upside down. 1.2929 0.05607 99 75 19 5
1420 This time I mean it. HEADS are going to roll. Literally. 1.2929 0.05227 99 73 23 3
1421 As your new CEO I've carved out some time for us to squash recent rumors and patch things up. 1.2929 0.05227 99 73 23 3
1422 As CEO, I'm glad to see we all go to Trump's barber. 1.2929 0.05964 99 77 15 7
1423 next round of layoffs, heads will roll 1.2929 0.05964 99 77 15 7
1424 I don't want to hear any more of this "We don't have a fun workplace culture" anymore, OK? 1.2929 0.05964 99 77 15 7
1425 Rest assured I'll squash any ideas you bring to the table. 1.2927 0.06132 82 62 16 4
1426 Trick or treat! We'll be making some more personnel cuts! 1.2927 0.05345 82 59 22 1
1427 So we are finally suing Cinderella for misrepresenting the Pumpkin society and being part of the anti-pumpkin movement. Who is willing to work on the case ? 1.2927 0.06605 82 64 12 6
1428 Turn those frowns upsidedown - by our next meeting. 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
1429 Believe me, I’m just as upset as you are. I’m just carved this way. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
1430 So, we're in agreement? 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
1431 We're phasing out nutmeg. 1.2921 0.05582 89 66 20 3
1432 I wish you’d stop saying ‘“quash the motion.” 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
1433 At least you all know Jack... 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
1434 We are looking for a new CEO , but I'm not sure any of you are cut out for it 1.2921 0.06231 89 69 14 6
1435 I want to light a fire in all of you. We’re going to smash it. 1.2921 0.06432 89 70 12 7
1436 I regret to inform you…the squirrels have evolved.” 1.2920 0.04978 113 84 25 4
1437 Okay, report for fiscal year ending 10-31 1.2920 0.04877 137 105 24 8
1438 We are having pie for lunch. 1.2917 0.06689 72 55 13 4
1439 All right then the motion to replace me is squashed. 1.2917 0.06076 72 53 17 2
1440 Now, remember not to burn a candle at both ends. 1.2917 0.05524 96 72 20 4
1441 Let’s get going; we have a minyan. 1.2917 0.06390 72 54 15 3
1442 I understand the interest in Cabo, but the Halloween party will be in Sleepy Hollow again this year. 1.2917 0.05719 96 73 18 5
1443 If we put our heads together, we can make Halloween year round” 1.2917 0.05908 96 74 16 6
1444 All of you look smashing, pumpkins. 1.2913 0.05278 103 77 22 4
1445 The vote is unanimous against a diversity training program. 1.2911 0.06016 79 59 17 3
1446 Yes, I’ve lost all our seed money. Blew it on spice. 1.2911 0.06016 79 59 17 3
1447 All in favor of making Halloween 8 nights say at. 1.2911 0.06534 79 61 13 5
1448 If you prefer to be called "they", please raise your hand. 1.2911 0.06534 79 61 13 5
1449 I understand the objection, but pie charts are the most convenient way of presenting the information. 1.2911 0.06280 79 60 15 4
1450 For our next meeting, we'll all be wearing turkey heads. 1.2909 0.05681 110 86 16 8
1451 Ok. President Trump. We see it the same way! 1.2909 0.05826 110 87 14 9
1452 Jacks of all trade 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1453 I know yesterday was a huge success. But it's now November, and we're downsizing this department. 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
1454 Now that we reached an agreement let's go get lit! 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1455 We’ve had complaints about leadership diversity 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
1456 Good news! We got the pumpkin spice latte account! 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1457 This year’s Dental Plan includes a serrated knife 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1458 Well.. I thought it was funny 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1459 Morale would improve greatly if you all went ahead and got a smile carved into your face. 1.2903 0.05423 93 69 21 3
1460 The diversity committee thinks we need to make some changes. 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
1461 Ok , so any suggestions about what type of pie we can make for the holidays? 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
1462 We’re finally going to show our competitors we’re more than just a bunch of empty talking heads. 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
1463 I’ve been given six months to replace five of you with squash. 1.2903 0.06226 93 73 13 7
1464 Grim is good this year! 1.2900 0.05559 100 76 19 5
1465 Ok...I see everyone has gotten their assignment for the 31st. Any questions? 1.2899 0.06229 69 51 16 2
1466 I'd like to begin this meeting by introducing our newest member, Jack. 1.2897 0.05313 107 81 21 5
1467 I've been notified by corporate that we have to cease our parody of Trump! 1.2895 0.07210 76 61 8 7
1468 It’s good to see we’re in agreement 1.2895 0.05869 76 56 18 2
1469 We are planning to hunt for Ichobod Crane. 1.2895 0.06160 76 57 16 3
1470 I’m happy to tell you all we will be working on Monday. 1.2895 0.06439 76 58 14 4
1471 I’ve got two tickets for Smashing Pumpkins, any takers? 1.2895 0.06439 76 58 14 4
1472 Gentlemen, today we declare war on the seasonal latte industrial complex. 1.2892 0.06068 83 63 16 4
1473 If you don't have a smile on your face, maybe you just can't cut it. 1.2892 0.05821 83 62 18 3
1474 We have one goal and one goal only. Squash our competition! 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
1475 Jimmy got smashed at the party last night and won’t be joining us. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
1476 We will see some changes around this table by the end of the month… 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
1477 I won't be showing a pie chart. 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
1478 The corporate pie is getting bigger and you'll all be part of it. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
1479 FYI— Next month’s theme is Turkeys. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
1480 Mr Orange, how’s the diversity initiative coming along? 1.2887 0.06035 97 76 14 7
1481 All of us gone by Christmas? I don't see it. 1.2887 0.05855 97 75 16 6
1482 This year we’re promoting Halloween cheer—although you wouldn’t know it from the look carved on your faces. 1.2887 0.05855 97 75 16 6
1483 Nothing major. Just a little Botox. 1.2887 0.05475 97 73 20 4
1484 So, I called this meeting because it seems SOME of us have mistaken the spooky Halloween spirit for ‘workplace harassment.’ 1.2887 0.05855 97 75 16 6
1485 And of course we will continue our Halloween tradition of allocating smiles to the firm's most highly compensated officers. 1.2885 0.05409 104 79 20 5
1486 In any case, it looks like the merger with Christmas is a go. 1.2885 0.05409 104 79 20 5
1487 Seasonal fatigue has all feeling a little empty-headed. 1.2883 0.06189 111 91 8 12
1488 When great rinds think alike. 1.2879 0.06017 66 48 17 1
1489 It appears that this gourd meeting has reached an impasse. 1.2879 0.06392 66 49 15 2
1490 If we don’t meet our sales quota next month, heads are gonna roll. 1.2877 0.05335 73 52 21 0
1491 My head is part of a new line being released. 1.2877 0.06315 73 55 15 3
1492 He called her his little pumpkin and she’s suing for harassment.” 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
1493 Tim realized that without a stem, he wouldn't be taken seriously. 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
1494 I’d like to discuss my carve-out proposal. 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
1495 Please stay firm. Just remember our competitors the plastic pumpkins. 1.2875 0.06462 80 62 13 5
1496 Scariest. Gourd meeting. Ever. 1.2875 0.06212 80 61 15 4
1497 This ‘Peter Peter’ must be neutralized. 1.2875 0.06462 80 62 13 5
1498 Given last week’s debacle, we will no longer have a carving station at the annual company picnic. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
1499 So glad to see all your faces light up. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
1500 Our critics don't know Jack. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
1501 We can't seem to get the pumpkin head filter off of our video. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
1502 You’re all fired for stealing my costume idea. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
1503 I assure you all, you'll have your bonuses by Christmas. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
1504 I believe some of you aren't going to make the cut this year. 1.2872 0.05583 94 71 19 4
1505 It’s better than a potato head. 1.2872 0.05583 94 71 19 4
1506 Gentlemen, it's November 1st, you're all fired! 1.2872 0.05978 94 73 15 6
1507 That's not quite what I had in mind when I asked you to carve out time for this meeting. 1.2872 0.05374 94 70 21 3
1508 As chairman,I see no proof our board is not diverse. 1.2872 0.05784 94 72 17 5
1509 Well, we made it through another Hallowe’en. And not one of us was devoured by squirrels. 1.2872 0.06167 94 74 13 7
1510 No, I haven’t seen the forecast. 1.2871 0.05688 101 78 17 6
1511 Well, if that's the case, we'll have to carve out a whole new business plan. 1.2871 0.05328 101 76 21 4
1512 We’re downsizing. It will cut our costs 50% and make five pies. Sherry Shuman Morgantown, WV 1.2871 0.05688 101 78 17 6
1513 Cheer up, we’ll all be compost by the time the year end numbers tank. 1.2871 0.05139 101 75 23 3
1514 Santa’s plotting a hostile takeover and we need to carve out our strategy. 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
1515 First item on the agenda: What to do with our image problem this time of the year? 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1516 I need you to think outside the gourd" 1.2857 0.06153 70 52 16 2
1517 We need someone who thinks outside the patch. 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
1518 Item one on today’s agenda- hiring a diversity officer. 1.2857 0.05802 98 76 16 6
1519 Now we know loose candy corn isn't exactly what you all had in mind for your holiday bonus... 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
1520 Next we'll hear from the spice latte division. 1.2857 0.05507 84 62 20 2
1521 Really? No takers? Pumpkin spice lattes are on me today. 1.2857 0.05802 98 76 16 6
1522 Gentlemen, I know you don't like to hear this, but we need to carve down the budget. 1.2857 0.06091 77 58 16 3
1523 I'm afraid we're going to have to go back to the patch on this one, Jack. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
1524 Now that we've all had our brains scooped out, time for some critical decisions. 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
1525 I can't have this team getting smashed over the weekend. We have important work on Monday. 1.2857 0.06882 77 61 10 6
1526 The new carve-outs will turn those frowns upside-down! 1.2857 0.05507 84 62 20 2
1527 I'm pleased to announce that Elon Musk has purchased the company. 1.2857 0.06153 70 52 16 2
1528 It’s time we carved out a niche in the market. 1.2857 0.05445 112 87 18 7
1529 As you can see, I had work done. 1.2857 0.06481 70 53 14 3
1530 Around this busy holiday season I want to thank you all for carving out time for this company. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1531 And then on November first we’ll all get smashed 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
1532 Gentlemen, I'm afriad we've had to cut back on candles. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
1533 I'm happy to announce our new partnership with Starbucks 1.2857 0.06629 77 60 12 5
1534 Happiness is an inside job, punkins! 1.2857 0.05981 98 77 14 7
1535 Gentlemen, I’ve been informed we have to make some cuts. 1.2857 0.05618 98 75 18 5
1536 Need you to burn the candle at both ends. 1.2843 0.04902 102 75 25 2
1537 I think it's time to start thinking about Christmas sales. 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
1538 Starting November first, only regular coffee. All in favor, say aye. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
1539 Trust me, gentlemen, the sweet potato industry doesn't stand a chance 1.2842 0.06290 95 76 11 8
1540 I’ll make this easy. Jack, your fired. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
1541 Mini pumpkins are all the rage this year so your kids are probably dead. 1.2842 0.06109 95 75 13 7
1542 I think it goes without saying that our year end is October 31st 1.2841 0.05587 88 66 19 3
1543 I don't think we can just squash the competition. 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
1544 With my thanks for a really great fall season, I'm afraid I have to inform you the Board has decided to carve out some new department heads. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
1545 I’m allowing Trump back on Twitter. What could go wrong? 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
1546 Sales are freaky scary... We must find a way to spice things up! 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
1547 Our sales goal this year is to gain a bigger piece of the pie. 1.2840 0.05620 81 60 19 2
1548 I anticipate a glowing report for the next quarter. 1.2840 0.05620 81 60 19 2
1549 We are going in a new direction. Pies. 1.2840 0.06628 81 64 11 6
1550 I guess these look better, but the masks were more comfortable. 1.2840 0.05889 81 61 17 3
1551 I don't care how important you think you are; we all have to do our duty on the 31st 1.2838 0.05937 74 55 17 2
1552 The shareholders are telling us that we need to grow organically. 1.2838 0.06808 74 58 11 5
1553 So no one has the guts to speak up? 1.2833 0.05574 120 96 14 10
1554 Now if you take a look at this pumpkin pie chart… 1.2832 0.05102 113 86 22 5
1555 Profits were down last quarter, but on the bright side, it’s better than a sharp knife in the eye. 1.2828 0.06098 99 79 12 8
1556 I'm thinking we add a sweet potato to eliminate any concerns the board lacks diversity. 1.2828 0.05380 99 75 20 4
1557 who has some illuminating ideas? 1.2826 0.06051 92 72 14 6
1558 It’s come to my attention that we actually do have dental benefits 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
1559 First off, thank you all for carving out some time for this meeting. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
1560 One of you will have to be squashed. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
1561 One final housekeeping item - this will be an unpaid lanternship. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
1562 I can't read the room. You have no teeth. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
1563 Is it true Elon is hiring Billy Corgan? 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
1564 Gentlemen, we are officially one pumpkin spice latte away from launching the hostile takeover 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
1565 Have you considered a pumpkin stem transplant, Jerry? 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
1566 Benefits do not include vision or dental. 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
1567 Okay. It’s official. We’re the Pumpkin Party! 1.2821 0.05741 78 58 18 2
1568 It's obvious to me that we need more diversity on this gourd of directors group." 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
1569 Then it's agreed. "Dead Baby Spice" for Fall. 1.2821 0.06803 78 62 10 6
1570 We expect sales to keep going up well through New Year's. 1.2821 0.06554 78 61 12 5
1571 I’d like to introduce our new HR manager, Peter, Peter. 1.2821 0.05443 78 57 20 1
1572 Anyone have any Thanksgiving plans? 1.2821 0.06024 78 59 16 3
1573 It's hard to fathom, but I've been accused of nepotism..... 1.2821 0.06554 78 61 12 5
1574 The Pie Division will be needing a new Head 1.2821 0.06554 78 61 12 5
1575 Don’t be alarmed! I said we just need one of you for the pie. 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
1576 Happiness is a choice 1.2821 0.06024 78 59 16 3
1577 “It looks like we’re going to have to carve some happier faces before our next board meeting.” 1.2818 0.04855 110 82 25 3
1578 We've just received a class action lawsuit from those witches. 1.2817 0.06708 71 55 12 4
1579 do you know pi is eternal 1.2817 0.06401 71 54 14 3
1580 We need to be careful how we vote on this one gentlemen. Remember what happened to the turkeys". 1.2817 0.06401 71 54 14 3
1581 Corporate wants me to make some more cuts 1.2817 0.06079 71 53 16 2
1582 Welcome to your first carving class! 1.2817 0.06079 71 53 16 2
1583 Relax guys. We are made it through Halloween. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1584 We need to think outside the lantern. 1.2816 0.04662 103 75 27 1
1585 Looking around this table, I see no reason why we can’t pivot our company to Easter! 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1586 Business is so good , it's scary! 1.2812 0.05278 96 72 21 3
1587 It’s Halloween - no working from home today 1.2812 0.07542 64 51 8 5
1588 Let me remind you how fortunate you are to be picked for this! 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
1589 So sorry! I shouldn't have kept you past midnight. 1.2812 0.05278 96 72 21 3
1590 Well…I must admit I’ve carved out a very nice life for myself 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
1591 You see boys, some of us are just carved for leadership 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
1592 Did anyone bring candles ? 1.2809 0.05297 89 66 21 2
1593 I’ve got an idea on how we can spice up this presentation. 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
1594 The good news is profits are up. The bad news is I just swallowed a candle." 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
1595 Welcome everybody to the Donald Trump look-a-like club! 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
1596 Someone has been hollowing out our profits. 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
1597 We've merged with Thanksgiving. Half of you are going to be pie. 1.2809 0.06390 89 71 11 7
1598 Ok guys........ the big day's around the corner and once again weve got our work cut out for us... 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
1599 I can't help but feel like we're a hollow shell of what this company once was 1.2809 0.05533 89 67 19 3
1600 We need to carve out a new plan. 1.2809 0.05533 89 67 19 3
1601 I need another meeting like a need a hole in the head. 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
1602 We’ve decided to go more inclusive and start calling ourselves “Jack & Jill-o-lanterns 1.2809 0.05533 89 67 19 3
1603 Any other ideas for adding diversity to our executive team? 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
1604 The turkeys all voted against Thanksgiving. It didn't help. Any other ideas? 1.2805 0.05562 82 61 19 2
1605 As usual, we need volunteers for my children's pumpkin carving contest. 1.2805 0.05827 82 62 17 3
1606 :what happened to all my gourdeous gourdeous guys? 1.2805 0.06322 82 64 13 5
1607 I am afraid some of you will be hollowed and weaned. 1.2804 0.04560 107 78 28 1
1608 Cheer up! There's pie for every one of us. 1.2800 0.05700 100 78 16 6
1609 I booked The Smashing Pumpkins for our corporate retreat. 1.2800 0.05869 75 56 17 2
1610 We've got the white woman demographic nailed. What's next? 1.2800 0.06990 75 60 9 6
1611 Then it’s settled. Only smiley-face jack-o’-lanterns get a bonus this year. 1.2800 0.06728 75 59 11 5
1612 Are we ready as a company for casual Friday? 1.2800 0.06728 75 59 11 5
1613 SO....you all agree...I will continue to remain President of the Pumpkin Heads!! 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1614 Given the past few years and the uncertainty in the world today, many of us may be feeling hollow 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
1615 Halloween was never this fun with Dorsey, right guys? 1.2800 0.06728 75 59 11 5
1616 Great news! We’re merging with Headless Horsemen United. 1.2800 0.05869 75 56 17 2
1617 Please, call me Gourd. Mr. Pumpkin was my father. 1.2796 0.05993 93 73 14 6
1618 Now who from our privileged lazy over-watered overweight minuscule demographic slice shall we raise to power this year? 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
1619 Everyone in favor, say 'Yeth.' 1.2796 0.05993 93 73 14 6
1620 Last one to rot - wins 1.2796 0.05993 93 73 14 6
1621 Our goal is diversity in the boardroom 1.2796 0.05993 93 73 14 6
1622 On the other hand, I'm glad we tested it on ourselves before we released it to the general public. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
1623 The good news, we’ve had a great month! The bad news? Our faces are rotting. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
1624 We’ll be looking for someone to lead the new eastern division. Someone with guts. 1.2794 0.06900 68 53 11 4
1625 I'd like to start off by saying I'm pleased to see that everyone read the recent dress code memo. 1.2793 0.05303 111 86 19 6
1626 I’d like to circle back on the idea that our corporate culture is “hollow.” 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
1627 I’m pleased to announce we’ve just signed our newest group: The Pumpkin Spice Girls 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
1628 The shareholders have finally approved a dental plan for the entire Board of Directors. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
1629 This is the best part of my job. Deciding who's getting cut. 1.2785 0.05386 79 58 20 1
1630 We all know what happens after Halloween. 1.2785 0.05679 79 59 18 2
1631 Due to right-sizing, this year we only have one candle. 1.2785 0.05386 79 58 20 1
1632 So, Jackie will start next week. 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
1633 So... can we say it's unanimous for composting? 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
1634 I’m going to need everyone to work on their poker faces. 1.2785 0.05386 79 58 20 1
1635 I have an even better idea, pumpkin dressing! 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
1636 Gentlemen, every year at this time this company experiences a debilitating drop in headcount. I’m convening this task force to find out why. 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
1637 Cheer up! If we keep our heads we will do just fine. 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
1638 The good news is, we won’t make it past the new years to be responsible for Q4 earnings 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
1639 Well, we've gotten scooped again this year. 1.2784 0.05231 97 73 21 3
1640 surely we can carve out a more uplifting solution. 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
1641 I sense you're all upset with the new "No Candy Bowls in Meetings" policy. 1.2784 0.04803 97 71 25 1
1642 The legal department wants to stress, absolutely no headless horse riding this year. 1.2784 0.05997 97 77 13 7
1643 Jack. You’re fired. 1.2784 0.05231 97 73 21 3
1644 i guess you could say i’m a jack of all trades. 1.2784 0.05231 97 73 21 3
1645 Why did management have to hire someone with a gourd complex. 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
1646 Yes, the band WILL be called Smashing Pumpkins 1.2778 0.06126 90 71 13 6
1647 So, we all agree. Halloween is cruel and must be abolished. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
1648 Anyone care to express their feelings about this last round of cuts? 1.2778 0.05672 72 53 18 1
1649 As many of you have guessed, we will begin downsizing on November 1st. 1.2778 0.06326 90 72 11 7
1650 Welcome to the Gourd of Directors. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
1651 I know, I know, you're all wondering how I maintain my youthful appearance. 1.2778 0.06007 72 54 16 2
1652 Too bad Jack couldn't make it. 1.2778 0.05398 108 84 18 6
1653 For some, there’s a flicker of hope, but most of you will become pies 1.2778 0.06324 72 55 14 3
1654 Anyone see a need for more face-saving cuts ? 1.2778 0.06007 72 54 16 2
1655 Once again, we had a really good October 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
1656 I'm just a naturally smiley person! 1.2778 0.05004 90 66 23 1
1657 The threat of being wiped out by the end of the month is real! 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
1658 One positive note - our merger with coffee is on again 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
1659 Heads will roll, I’m afraid. Elon doesn’t like pumpkins. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
1660 The Great Pumpkin has spoken, You’re all fired! 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
1661 No worries - they're just a rock band. 1.2769 0.07438 65 52 8 5
1662 Good news is pumpkin spice latte sales are at an all time high. Bad news is we need more pumpkins. 1.2768 0.05107 112 86 21 5
1663 The Chairmen of the Gourd informs his team that they are getting squashed. 1.2766 0.05327 94 71 20 3
1664 For starters , I’m your boss, not your friend, and you will show me the respect of addressing me as John or Mr. O’Lantern. 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
1665 I've got a proposal from this guy, Billy Corgan, for our new company jingle, wanna listen to it? 1.2766 0.05108 94 70 22 2
1666 I've got a great idea that'll really spice things up. 1.2763 0.06379 76 59 13 4
1667 Johnson, carve that frown off your face right now 1.2763 0.05493 76 56 19 1
1668 Sure seasonal profits are up, but let's not lose our heads! 1.2763 0.06098 76 58 15 3
1669 Hopefully the Bonuses will make you smile. 1.2763 0.06379 76 59 13 4
1670 All those who favor moving corporate headquarters to Sleepy Hollow, please raise your hand. 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
1671 Hard to believe, but our shareholders are accusing us of nepotism. 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
1672 Gentlemen, I don’t want to squash your enthusiasm, but it is apparent to me that you all have jack for brains. 1.2763 0.06379 76 59 13 4
1673 Welcome to the break-out session on diversity and inclusion. 1.2763 0.05493 76 56 19 1
1674 We may ripen quickly, but at least we won't have to worry about Long COVID. 1.2763 0.06098 76 58 15 3
1675 This is our season and I want us to really glow 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
1676 all signs indicate this holiday will be a smashing success! 1.2762 0.05661 105 83 15 7
1677 This week some of you will remain on board and others will be pie filling". 1.2759 0.05824 87 67 16 4
1678 I call this meeting of the New York Chapter of the Donald Trump "Look-a-Likes" to order 1.2759 0.06266 87 69 12 6
1679 I know it’s a lot to ask to work late on Halloween, but I’m sure each of you can carve out the time. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1680 Compliance wants us to diversify. 1.2754 0.06154 69 52 15 2
1681 Employee well-being has been on the rise all month and is projected to continue into November. 1.2754 0.06491 69 53 13 3
1682 Our stock is soaring this week, and I expect next week's earnings to be even better! 1.2754 0.06154 69 52 15 2
1683 I won best costume again this year. 1.2754 0.06811 69 54 11 4
1684 Let me start by saying, you all resemble our last President. 1.2752 0.05510 109 86 16 7
1685 This meeting is adjourned. Time to get lit! 1.2752 0.05354 109 85 18 6
1686 I’m concerned that we have an ingrained culture of negativity. 1.2750 0.06156 80 62 14 4
1687 And lastly, I'll turn it over to Ed who has some exciting news about the company dental plan. 1.2750 0.06156 80 62 14 4
1688 Ideas for Halloween? 1.2750 0.06156 80 62 14 4
1689 Pumpkin Heads Unite! 1.2750 0.06884 80 65 8 7
1690 We've got to diversify, so four of you will be turned into spice. 1.2750 0.05618 80 60 18 2
1691 we’re going to start carving from the top this year 1.2750 0.06408 80 63 12 5
1692 Anyone have any ideas for new seasonal pie? 1.2750 0.05893 80 61 16 3
1693 You’ve all made your wishes known to your family, right? 1.2750 0.06156 80 62 14 4
1694 So the vote is conclusive. No spice 1.2750 0.05618 80 60 18 2
1695 Due to spending restrictions, this year's bonus will be a trick. 1.2747 0.05428 91 69 19 3
1696 And now, Jack with the quarterly report. Jack? 1.2747 0.06066 91 72 13 6
1697 Don’t worry about it, guys. We can just lie and pretend that we won. 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
1698 Carving out the budget proposal is going to be tricky. 1.2747 0.05428 91 69 19 3
1699 Just a garden variety Board of Directors meeting. 1.2747 0.06066 91 72 13 6
1700 I have an announcement to make today and I can guarantee that heads will roll. 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
1701 You are all FIRED November1 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
1702 This is funny! Why don't any of you smile? 1.2742 0.06573 62 47 13 2
1703 And now for our latest TikTok challenge: Wear a scary human head. 1.2742 0.06157 62 46 15 1
1704 I know it's still October, but we are all being replaced by Christmas trees and Santas tomorrow. 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
1705 I'm happy to see that none of you got smashed last night. 1.2740 0.06248 73 56 14 3
1706 Does anyone know why we are accused of nepotism? 1.2740 0.05936 73 55 16 2
1707 I see some of you aren't happy about our latest incisions, but there are going to be more cuts. 1.2740 0.06248 73 56 14 3
1708 So... just how much is this new dental plan going to cost us? 1.2740 0.07103 73 59 8 6
1709 How about you, Jack? Can you shed any light on this? 1.2740 0.05606 73 54 18 1
1710 I said: “We lost the SEED money!” 1.2740 0.06248 73 56 14 3
1711 Who ordered the Pumpkin Latte? 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
1712 I'm really proud of our company's successful diversity program. 1.2740 0.06830 73 58 10 5
1713 Gentleman, jack o' lantern sales are down, however, pie sales are up. I need a volunteer. 1.2740 0.05606 73 54 18 1
1714 alrighty then: who wants to be the first orange skin foo to run for president? are you criminal enough; psychotically sociopathically narcissist enough? 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
1715 Gentlemen let me introduce myself, my name is Peter Peter 1.2740 0.06248 73 56 14 3
1716 Thank you all for carving out some time to meet today. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
1717 It looks like we're going to have to make some adjustments in our diversity plan. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
1718 We need to grow the pie! 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
1719 3. point. 14159265359 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
1720 I'm going to be a fun Jack-o'lantern, and you folks are all going to be pies. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
1721 I am just thankful our ancestors did not carve Watermelons to ward off evil spirits for Halloween. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
1722 I suggest we adjourn and get smashed 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
1723 With what I’m about to say, you might think I’m out of my gourd. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
1724 We’re waiting for Icabod 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
1725 It’s the peak season as you all know so I want to see you burning the candle at both ends… 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
1726 New board members for Twitter 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
1727 Please give a warm welcome to our first Jill O' Lantern board member. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
1728 Cheer up, guys. There will be no more cuts this quarter.” 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
1729 I meant the other Jack” 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
1730 You will admit, I have come a long way from my days in the pumpkin patch. 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
1731 Seeing your little faces light up each day is what keeps me in the Jack-o'-lantern business. 1.2736 0.05283 106 82 19 5
1732 And that is my 42.7 step plan for keeping Christmas out of stores until November 1st. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
1733 And here's why our merger with Ginsu knives is a win-win... 1.2727 0.06029 77 59 15 3
1734 It's that time of year again, Jack. 1.2727 0.06671 66 51 12 3
1735 What was in the latte? 1.2727 0.05739 77 58 17 2
1736 ROLL CALL: Jumping Jack Flash Jack be Nimble Jack Daniels Jacqueline Jack-O’-Lantern Jack Frost Jack N. Jack in the Beanstalk Jack Rabbit Jack The Ripper Jill Now who’s having the in office romance? You know that’s not allowed. 1.2727 0.06306 77 60 13 4
1737 Big office party this weekend ; cause we all know some of us won't be back on Monday. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
1738 Any ideas on how we become more than a two week business? 1.2727 0.07337 66 53 8 5
1739 I want you all to think outside the squash. 1.2727 0.05931 66 49 16 1
1740 Do you see his facelift? It looks so obvious. 1.2727 0.05739 77 58 17 2
1741 It'll be smashing.... 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
1742 Now that we've taken back the House... 1.2727 0.06029 77 59 15 3
1743 O'Lantern. It's Irish. 1.2727 0.06306 77 60 13 4
1744 This company feels just like family. 1.2727 0.06572 77 61 11 5
1745 So we are agreed that the headless horseman will be the company's new logo. 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
1746 Due to your poor performance this quarter,you are all being reassigned to Thanksgiving. Please see the Baking department for your new roles. 1.2727 0.06572 77 61 11 5
1747 The investors are scared. 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1748 winter is coming 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
1749 Welcome to the Diversity Board. I’m happy to finally see some new faces here on Wall Street! 1.2727 0.06572 77 61 11 5
1750 Appreciate ya making today’s gourd meeting, fellas. 1.2727 0.06410 88 71 10 7
1751 Ever get one of those days when it feels like your brain has gone to mush? 1.2718 0.05198 103 79 20 4
1752 It’s nearly the end of October. What are your plans for keeping yourself intact from now through November? 1.2717 0.05377 92 70 19 3
1753 Okay, let's see those pie charts. 1.2717 0.06007 92 73 13 6
1754 ever since he lit the tealight in his head, he now thinks he is full of bright ideas. 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
1755 Butternut squash spiced lattes rolls right off the tongue. 1.2717 0.06202 92 74 11 7
1756 Great news. The Spice Girls are interested in our proposal. 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
1757 I expect to see revenue growth, followed by softening, and eventual rotting. 1.2716 0.05559 81 61 18 2
1758 Our latest campaign has been a smashing success! Let me rephrase that. 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
1759 Our initial public offering will be a smash 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
1760 Jill O’ Lantern is joining us! 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
1761 Diversity problem #1: everyone's named Jack. 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
1762 Yes, they’re cute, but squirrels are definitely a health hazard. 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
1763 This year’s bonus will be in Candy Corn. 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
1764 "Most new recruits don't make it past the end of the month." 1.2714 0.05354 70 51 19 0
1765 That is my plan to SQUASH the competition 1.2714 0.06410 70 54 13 3
1766 To improve our ESG rankings we're reducing our carbon footprint by switching all facial lighting from candles to LEDs. 1.2714 0.06078 70 53 15 2
1767 What we need is a little spice around here. 1.2714 0.06078 70 53 15 2
1768 Jack #3, you know the dress code calls for a head stem! 1.2714 0.06725 70 55 11 4
1769 Don’t forget to dress like turkeys in November. 1.2714 0.07026 70 56 9 5
1770 I am stepping down as CEO and my cousin George Carrot Head will takeover. You will see a slight change to the shape of our company logo. 1.2714 0.06078 70 53 15 2
1771 The word in the patches is we’re out of touch. 1.2714 0.06078 70 53 15 2
1772 Our spice latte was just a start. I'm thinking reinventing beer. 1.2713 0.04891 129 101 21 7
1773 Won’t the real Donald Trump please stand up… 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
1774 We've received a threatening note from PeterPeter again. 1.2710 0.05722 107 86 13 8
1775 You're all going to be fired on the 31st. 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1776 Did you all remember to bring your Halloween disguises? There's going to be a lot of mayhem out there tonight. 1.2708 0.05826 96 76 14 6
1777 We only have a few days before…well you know! 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
1778 Who's ready for a corporate carve-out? 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
1779 Spiced Latte anyone? 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
1780 You all are getting soft in the head 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
1781 The rumor that heads will roll is greatly exaggerated. 1.2706 0.05394 85 64 19 2
1782 I’m afraid the numbers weren’t good for last quarter and we’re going to have to make a few more cuts. 1.2706 0.05394 85 64 19 2
1783 Excuse me, Johnson, but I think your cap is outside in. 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
1784 Due to downsizing, I’m retiring. Billy Corgan will be the new CEO. 1.2703 0.06467 74 58 12 4
1785 I think you'll find the cuts to our dental plan will put a smile on your face. 1.2703 0.06174 74 57 14 3
1786 We need a plan to prevent our competition from squashing us. 1.2703 0.06174 74 57 14 3
1787 We’re removing all the seeds this year 1.2703 0.06174 74 57 14 3
1788 Yes Gourd? 1.2703 0.06174 74 57 14 3
1789 So we all agree? Candy corn does indeed SUCK. 1.2703 0.06174 74 57 14 3
1790 I am afraid I have to do some downsizing. On the bright side, those downsized, will be part of Thanksgiving dinner. 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
1791 Do I intimidate you or were your faces just carved that way? 1.2700 0.05096 100 76 21 3
1792 The motion is carried by 10 to 1 in favor of the stems. 1.2698 0.07229 63 50 9 4
1793 Gentlemen, I have some bad news about the December layoffs. 1.2697 0.05243 89 67 20 2
1794 For the record, our GMO pumpkin products have been proven to have absolutely no side effects. 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
1795 How’s the campaign going to push sweet potato pie this year? 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
1796 I carved them all myself 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
1797 To bolster pie shortages created by supply chain issues I'll need all of you to participate. 1.2692 0.05374 78 58 19 1
1798 I know we are all feeling a little empty headed after last nights festivities but the meeting must go on! 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
1799 Welcome to the annual gourd meeting. 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
1800 So, Best Holiday Ever--wouldn't you agree? 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
1801 Please, Gentlemen. My text concerning 'smashing news' simply meant that sales doubled this quarter. 1.2692 0.06235 78 61 13 4
1802 So team, big night tonight. We’ll all be burning the candle at both ends. 1.2692 0.06748 78 63 9 6
1803 Wipe that smirk off your gourd! 1.2692 0.06235 78 61 13 4
1804 I just wanted to give everyone a head’s up… 1.2692 0.06496 78 62 11 5
1805 Let’s discuss all the ways we can squash the competition. 1.2692 0.05374 78 58 19 1
1806 The competition doesn't hold a candle next to us. 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
1807 All those in favor, say "Boo!" 1.2688 0.05103 93 70 21 2
1808 The bad news: no clear winner for the Hallowe’en costume contest. The good news: great minds think alike. 1.2688 0.05542 93 72 17 4
1809 Deflation is the real enemy. 1.2688 0.05327 93 71 19 3
1810 This meeting feels hollow 1.2687 0.06583 67 52 12 3
1811 How about, Chairman of the Gourd? 1.2687 0.06230 67 51 14 2
1812 It's come to my attention that we're all brainless fruits. 1.2687 0.06918 67 53 10 4
1813 I am happy to say that one of us will not be made into a pie. 1.2687 0.06583 67 52 12 3
1814 Okay, so all in favor of 'Pumpkin Spice Veal Scallopini,' say aye. 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
1815 I’m guessing that my incentive package proposal is not acceptable…. 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
1816 You'll be seeing some new faces around here soon. 1.2683 0.05220 82 61 20 1
1817 I think we need to squash the takeover bid! 1.2683 0.05220 82 61 20 1
1818 We need to hire a zucchini so people think our DEI efforts are real 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
1819 Time to spice up these meetings! 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
1820 At this time of year, we like fire everyone. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
1821 Let’s just get smashed 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
1822 We’ve all had work done, and I get it, but I’d like to start this meeting off with ‘you are beautiful’ 1.2683 0.04923 82 60 22 0
1823 We’re agreed, then: yes on trick, no on treat. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1824 Let’s experiment who will sink or float 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1825 Let's carve out some ideas that will make us all smile. 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
1826 All in favor of including stem extensions and augmentations in our company health plan, say aye. 1.2677 0.04534 127 97 26 4
1827 We need to carve out a niche. 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
1828 All in favor say pie. 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
1829 Competition. Squash 'em! 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
1830 I know it's been a rough patch lately, but let's not lose our heads. 1.2676 0.06640 71 56 11 4
1831 I'm sorry but diversity is the name of the game. Jack, you are going to be replaced by Mr. Potato Head. 1.2676 0.06004 71 54 15 2
1832 Our successful carve-out means some of you will be assigned to window displays. 1.2676 0.06937 71 57 9 5
1833 Team… Our annual numbers are far from frightful. I expect better from you 1.2676 0.06004 71 54 15 2
1834 The only way to solve this problem is by putting our heads together. 1.2676 0.05659 71 53 17 1
1835 Jack? What say you? 1.2676 0.06937 71 57 9 5
1836 We need to discuss diversity. 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
1837 While we have the fall market cornered, any ideas concerning a summer business idea? 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
1838 I'd like to introduce our guest speaker, Billy Corgan. 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
1839 Human Resources says it's time to add a pumpkiness to the Board. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
1840 If our numbers don't improve, I can assure you, heads will roll. 1.2674 0.05341 86 65 19 2
1841 The good news is that those plastic poseurs can never carve out a slice of the pie and muffin market! 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
1842 And if you miss the goal, my solution is as easy as pie. 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
1843 Gentlemen, I think it’s time we add a Jill O’lantern to this board. 1.2674 0.06496 86 70 9 7
1844 And that's why I insist on being called "The Great Pumpkin." 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
1845 This character-building exercise has really changed our outlook! 1.2673 0.05430 101 79 17 5
1846 Now that we’ve all got clear minds, it’s time to get to work. 1.2673 0.04852 101 76 23 2
1847 Can’t fool me Jenkins, I see you sleeping! 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1848 Marketing reports that customers actually prefer regular lattes. 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
1849 Any more bright ideas? 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
1850 Our latest acquisition is a pie company. 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
1851 Nobody suspects he is one of us. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1852 Looks like your apple pie for Thanksgiving campaign is not working. 1.2667 0.05799 75 57 16 2
1853 I propose that we squash our competition 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
1854 OK, that’s the bad news - the good news is that pumpkin pie sales are through the roof! 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
1855 Guys, I've said it before and I'll say it again: a diversity program doesn't work overnight... 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1856 Can anyone on the Finance committee smile? 1.2667 0.05799 75 57 16 2
1857 We've been bought out by someone named Peter Peter. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1858 And next year, we’ve decided to focus our entire marketing budget on Easter. Any objections? 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1859 Now about that carve out we were discussing . . . 1.2667 0.04947 90 67 22 1
1860 Ok I think it's time for us to settle on an official face for our brand 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
1861 We’re going to spice things up. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
1862 Jack didn't have the guts to say this, but there will be layoffs this year. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
1863 I want to see a real effort to turn those frowns upside down. 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
1864 While we are clearly a bright team, we’ve been acting without guts for a long time. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1865 They say we need more diversity in the workplace 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
1866 We have been criticized for our lack of diversity so does anyone know an elf? 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
1867 Enlighten me 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
1868 Further carving is needed to hit our quarterly projections. 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
1869 Whose for dessert? 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
1870 You may have noticed a 12-year-old with a baseball bat walking around the office. Don’t worry, he’s just here to see if we can do things a little more efficiently. 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
1871 And finally, who will be going to Sleepy Hollow this year? 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
1872 If this stupid, hollow meeting proved only one thing it's that our ideas are lame and our heads are as empty and carved out as pumpkins. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
1873 I think it will spook our investors 1.2658 0.05317 79 59 19 1
1874 In a moment you will know why you all have frowns carved into your faces. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
1875 We all know fourth quarter burnout is real. This organization is rotting from the inside out. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
1876 What about Christmas? 1.2656 0.06394 64 49 13 2
1877 Good news, pie biz booming! Bad news, I need four volunteers! 1.2656 0.05994 64 48 15 1
1878 Let’s settle down. We all knew not everyone would make it to next year. 1.2656 0.07128 64 51 9 4
1879 I look forward to seeing each and every one of you working closely with our new brand ambassadors, The Smashing Pumpkins. 1.2656 0.05994 64 48 15 1
1880 I’ve carved out a 1-year plan to squash our deficit-we will need all gourd members approval on this. 1.2656 0.06394 64 49 13 2
1881 Since "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" won't be aired on tv this year, I suggest we cancel Halloween. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1882 Given that we have been asked to be more inclusive, a carrot will be joining our team next week. 1.2653 0.04930 98 74 22 2
1883 We lost the spice contract. 1.2653 0.04930 98 74 22 2
1884 I’m sorry but I’m making you work on Halloween 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1885 11 angry pumpkins 1.2653 0.05720 98 78 14 6
1886 Boss, wearing these for Halloween is one thing, wearing these all of October is too much! 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
1887 I assume everyone saw Frank's pie chart? 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
1888 Ok, who's wearing pumpkin spice? 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
1889 We’re going to have to make some more cuts until we turn those frowns into grins. 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
1890 I want everybody's candle burning on this, I want to SQUASH the competition. 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
1891 In a room full of Jacks, be a Jill. 1.2651 0.06433 83 67 10 6
1892 Okay team, let’s carve those frowns upside down! 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
1893 Gentleman, if we don’t reach our quota by Halloween, heads will roll. 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
1894 They're calling us the biggest bunch of gutless, empty-headed aesthetic hires since the Kardashians. I'd say that's *something* to be proud of! 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
1895 Let´s just say the spiced lattes will have a more human touch this time. 1.2647 0.05899 102 83 11 8
1896 Apparently I am the only one who got a treat last night. 1.2647 0.06151 68 52 14 2
1897 Let’s not lose our heads over this decision, gentlemen. 1.2647 0.05390 68 50 18 0
1898 So for the 10th straight year, your only ideas for our secretary Christmas gifts are…pies. 1.2647 0.06151 68 52 14 2
1899 It's good to be Pumpking. 1.2647 0.06151 68 52 14 2
1900 I think we can all agree a Jill-O-Lantern’s place is in the home. 1.2647 0.05783 68 51 16 1
1901 Rest assured, there's absolutely no truth to the rumor that your promotions were based on appearance. 1.2644 0.05998 87 69 13 5
1902 Wait until you see what I have planned for the November meeting. 1.2644 0.06217 87 70 11 6
1903 The Ichabod Crane Society will now come to order. 1.2644 0.05288 87 66 19 2
1904 First the bad news. We’ve been bought out by a pie company. The good news is, I’m retiring! 1.2644 0.05288 87 66 19 2
1905 Is this the best you could do for an anonymous vote? 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
1906 Those in favor of renaming Halloween as King Pumpkin Day, say I 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
1907 Finally, I need to see each of you eat a lit candle. 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
1908 Hallowed be our meme. 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
1909 oh c'mon. carve your enthusiasm! 1.2644 0.05998 87 69 13 5
1910 So, due to temporary supple-side shortages, we're asking for volunteers. 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1911 I’m not seeing a lot of happy faces around the table. I can fix that with just a few cuts.” 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1912 It's our peak season. Put on your happy face. 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
1913 Any ideas for November? 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
1914 We're giving out toothbrushes this year. 1.2639 0.06850 72 58 9 5
1915 Just because I've had my head cut open and the insides scooped out doesn't mean I can't be in charge! 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
1916 These staff cuts do not make me happy, it’s how my mouth was carved. 1.2639 0.06253 72 56 13 3
1917 Now that the bird is freed, Jack is back! 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
1918 We’re lit 🔥 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
1919 After much consideration, we have decided not to sign the Smashing Pumpkins to our record label 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
1920 To start I'm ordering 11 pumpkin spice lattes 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
1921 The issue on the table is diversity. Let’s put our heads together, shall we 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
1922 Remember, if it wasn't for us there would be mo pumpkin pie. 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
1923 Who votes for the same spice mix this year? 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
1924 Next on the agenda, we need to discuss the apple pies in the company breakroom. 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
1925 Mr. O'Lantern, let's start with you. 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
1926 Hey, Jacks! Let's turn those frowns upside down! 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
1927 I don't mean to squash your ideas but I promise I will carve out a new plan. 1.2637 0.04901 91 68 22 1
1928 And there’s more good news! The roasted turkey helmets I ordered will be ready in time for our November meeting! 1.2637 0.05813 91 72 14 5
1929 Now that our work in the gourdroom has concluded, let's get smashed! 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
1930 Who ordered the pumpkin spice latte? 1.2632 0.06588 76 61 10 5
1931 I think we should lay low for Halloween. 1.2632 0.06032 76 59 14 3
1932 I appreciate you all staying late last night. 1.2632 0.06032 76 59 14 3
1933 On November 1st, heads are gonna roll. 1.2632 0.05884 57 42 15 0
1934 Either the Bottom Line improves, or heads will smash! 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1935 Good job folks! This year is in the can! 1.2632 0.05733 76 58 16 2
1936 I propose we all wear our pumpkins past the 31-st. 1.2632 0.06588 76 61 10 5
1937 Hobgoblin's Anonymous 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
1938 Pumpkins? For Fall? Groundbreaking. 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
1939 Time to carve out the next chapter of our company. 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
1940 'Dress for the job you want' 1.2632 0.05733 76 58 16 2
1941 I assure you, this is just a rough patch. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1942 We’ve gathered here today to discuss that which threatens us all: the encroachment of Christmas commercials into October. 1.2632 0.06025 95 77 11 7
1943 We need to make some changes to meet this year's diversity goals 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
1944 You all knew when I hired you that the day would come when I’d replace your brain with a candle! 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
1945 We only have one night, gentlemen. let’s make it good! 1.2625 0.05260 80 60 19 1
1946 Alright, Gentleman, now that I've spilled my guts, what do you think? 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
1947 I promise you, if we can make it through this patch, we'll all get a head! 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
1948 This economy is really carving us up. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
1949 Don't think of a month-long Halloween season as a threat to your vitality, think of it as more jobs for pumpkins everywhere. 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
1950 According to the pie chart, I need to let two-to-three of you go. 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
1951 Nice to see some new faces around here 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
1952 We're loosing market to Chinese lights. It's time we focus on Pie Industry 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
1953 Last quarter we smashed the competi—sorry, poor choice of words. 1.2623 0.06571 61 47 12 2
1954 And that is why I am called the Great Pumpkin!" 1.2623 0.05679 61 45 16 0
1955 Listen up,we're cancelling Halloween this year. It's gonna save us a bundle! 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
1956 Let's talk rationally before we all get hot-headed. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
1957 Now, I believe we should spice things up. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
1958 So once the ‘Of All Trades’ are on board, all you ‘o’ Lanterns’ will be let go.“ 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
1959 Wilkins, thank you for pointing out that 90% of CEOs have eye triangles pointing down. We can discuss this further at your performance review. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
1960 As long as you don’t fall asleep at your desks, you shouldn’t have to worry about the squirrels I’ve let loose in the office. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
1961 Think! Show me you're not vegetables. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
1962 C’mon Jack, we’re looking for ideas that are a little less hollow. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
1963 Perhaps “getting ahead” was a poor choice of words… 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
1964 Well, John Boy, if you didn't want this many heirs competing for your parents' estate, you shouldn't have kept begging them to pump kin into the world for you to play with. 1.2615 0.06308 65 50 13 2
1965 We have successfully spooked our investors this quarter. 1.2615 0.05915 65 49 15 1
1966 Either we wear name tags or hire a new carver. 1.2615 0.05915 65 49 15 1
1967 Ethics aside fall profits are promising. 1.2615 0.05915 65 49 15 1
1968 the addition of pumpkins to the food pyramid is not good news! 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
1969 Time of the year or corporate environment, I just feel empty. 1.2614 0.06153 88 71 11 6
1970 Flameless candle sales are down this year” 1.2614 0.05236 88 67 19 2
1971 I’m Peter Peter, the new CEO. 1.2609 0.06414 69 54 12 3
1972 How can all our names be Jack? 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
1973 Gentlemen, please. The cuts may seem extreme, but I expect to see smiles on those faces. 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
1974 Your Halloween idea was brilliant, Mr. Chairman - but we have some concerns with the Thanksgiving 'stuffing' plans. 1.2609 0.06073 69 53 14 2
1975 I am happy to announce that we've just merged with Knife & Candle, Inc.! 1.2609 0.05711 69 52 16 1
1976 Now, if we can just keep our heads on the ball, I think we can smash our competition next month. 1.2609 0.06414 69 54 12 3
1977 Further cuts are coming. 1.2609 0.05960 92 74 12 6
1978 The good news is, the latest data shows our market share is on the rise. The bad news is, many of us are still being eaten by squirrels. 1.2609 0.06738 69 55 10 4
1979 So, diversity means other squash varieties? 1.2609 0.06414 69 54 12 3
1980 Welcome to the October Gourd meeting. 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
1981 Does anyone else have second thoughts about the new dress code? 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
1982 Effective November 1, O'Lantern Industries will be known as The Pie Guys. 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
1983 Let’s everyone lighten up. 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
1984 We are working on carving out a new corporate culture. 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
1985 October results were downright spooky. 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
1986 Why do I seem to be the only one who enjoys these meetings? 1.2603 0.07041 73 60 7 6
1987 Remind me,which one of you is Jack O’Lantern? 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
1988 For the record, I think you've all gone soft in the head. 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
1989 So, who did the face carving this time? 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
1990 I’m sorry to report that yes- pumpkin spice is real and yes- we should all be very concerned 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
1991 I said I had dibs on being Trump this year 1.2603 0.06478 73 58 11 4
1992 Sure, we have another vacancy. But investors loved the pie chart. 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
1993 As long as I still own at least 51% of the company, we'll keep these on until halloween is over. 1.2600 0.05617 100 80 14 6
1994 CEOs - Carved Executive Officers in training. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1995 Final point of business. After much negotiation, our dental plan has be approved! 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1996 Stay away from Starbucks guys or you’ll end up in a latte. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
1997 Let's go around the room and introduce ourselves. I'm seeing a bunch of new faces in the room this year. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
1998 Well, let's look at the good side: there will be more candy than you can possibly eat. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
1999 If sales don't pick up, heads are gonna roll! 1.2597 0.05359 77 58 18 1
2000 As our last order of business, I am pleased to announce that Peter,Peter has been terminated. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
2001 For our annual Halloween luncheon, we've decided to serve low-level employee pumpkin pie. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
2002 To be honest our November sales projections are looking pretty rotten. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
2003 OK, so we have a tight deadline to meet before our heads all turn to mush. 1.2596 0.05112 104 81 19 4
2004 All those for my proposal, say “aye”. All against, say “pie”. 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
2005 Gentleman, I reject the Nepotism charges, I say we are all carved from the same cloth! 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
2006 Perhaps we should have a keynote by Charlie Brown. 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
2007 Maybe the problem is you're in the wrong field." 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
2008 Ask them how they would feel if you cut out their eyes,, gave them a little triangle instead of a nose and chopped into their mouths to make them look happy 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
2009 We are projecting a downturn in sales after October 31. 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
2010 How about w pumpkin spice break? 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
2011 Let’s put our heads together, very gently. 1.2593 0.05205 81 61 19 1
2012 None of you can hold a candle compared to me." 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
2013 Everyone will get to share their ideas, one seed at a time. 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
2014 Let's get the vote taken before we rot. 1.2593 0.06754 81 67 7 7
2015 I want to leverage your synergies 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
2016 …and good to see you Jack, and Jack, thank you for coming, and Jack, hope you’re feeling better…and Jack and Jack from accounting, welcome… and Jack from advertising, how’s your first week been?…And Jack, looking good… 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
2017 Welcome to the meeting of Dwight shrutes 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
2018 This fall’s team retreat will conclude with a trip to a pie making class. I don’t know what we are making yet but I heard it will blow our minds. 1.2593 0.06521 81 66 9 6
2019 Apparently none of you got the “smile” memo . . . 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
2020 Remember your costumes! 1.2588 0.06070 85 68 12 5
2021 Please welcome our motivational speaker, Peter Pumpkin Eater. 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
2022 At our next Gourd Meeting, I will discuss how we will squash the competition. 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
2023 We push-back against October Christmas decoration sales by selling Halloween Tree Ornaments. 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
2024 I've carved out a face, er, PLACE, for each of you. 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
2025 It’s about time we moved away from that Trick or Treat slogan 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
2026 Looks like you all figured out how I'm carving up the profits this year. 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
2027 The Squash Court has ordered us to diversify. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
2028 Who’s ready to spice things up around here?! 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
2029 Some might even say I’m a Jack-o-lantern of all trades 1.2588 0.06070 85 68 12 5
2030 This could have been an email. 1.2586 0.07993 58 48 5 5
2031 Bob, that proposal to make lemon meringue the official pie of Thanksgiving didn't save us last year either. 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
2032 During these heated discussions, it's all too easy to forget the many ways in which we're alike. 1.2584 0.04933 89 67 21 1
2033 We're meeting today to be ahead of the carve 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
2034 Don’t lose your heads but as of now, the Sleepy Hollow Project has been cancelled and you’ve all been made redundant. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
2035 How about we order some pumpkin spice lattes? 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
2036 What happened to our seed money? 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
2037 I thought you'd be thrilled to know that I'm getting a bonus! 1.2581 0.06056 62 47 14 1
2038 Lesson learned: if you're going to date a witch who commonly turns people's heads into pumpkins out of spite, don't invite ten of your business associates over to her house to carve their initials into her disabled son's chest. 1.2581 0.06874 62 49 10 3
2039 We've got pumpkin spice in every conceivable food option; the next frontier is body lotion and shampoo! 1.2581 0.05902 93 75 12 6
2040 I’m beginning to think this board needs a bit more diversity. 1.2581 0.07249 62 50 8 4
2041 Okay, then, no more pumpkin pie jokes." 1.2581 0.05603 62 46 16 0
2042 Here's news to one or two of you. Our Diversity Officer says we have to get some Butter Nut Squash on the Board. 1.2581 0.06478 62 48 12 2
2043 YOU'RE ALL JUST A BUNCH OF TALKING HEADS 1.2581 0.05603 62 46 16 0
2044 It's just for one day. 1.2581 0.06056 62 47 14 1
2045 1) OK,take off the masks,it's now November 1. 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
2046 The meeting to pump up this year's morale fell on deaf ears, mostly because they didn't carved any. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2047 Orange you glad you work here? 1.2581 0.06478 62 48 12 2
2048 The market’s been frightful. 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
2049 Good Morning, Jack, Jackie, Jack-of-all Trades. Good to see you Jack Man, Jacko, Jack-in-a-Million.... 1.2577 0.05913 97 79 11 7
2050 Okay, now where are all the usual devils? We can't make quorum without them. 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
2051 As a result of Mr Musk’s successful takeover bid, I’m sorry to advise you have all been demoted to lantern duty. 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
2052 We will be implementing company-wide cuts this halloween 1.2577 0.05728 97 78 13 6
2053 I called this gourd meeting to squash the seeds of discontent. 1.2576 0.06588 66 52 11 3
2054 With one yea and 10 nays, the motion fails. 1.2576 0.05838 66 50 15 1
2055 I'm afraid my marketing strategy of us all using our botox product has backfired somewhat 1.2576 0.06588 66 52 11 3
2056 So, what can I do to change those frowns into smiles? 1.2576 0.06588 66 52 11 3
2057 The market doesn't trust us because we're seedy. 1.2576 0.05838 66 50 15 1
2058 Let's turn those frowns upside down...Linda? Scalpel?" 1.2576 0.06588 66 52 11 3
2059 We have to get right to work before our heads start to rot. 1.2576 0.05838 66 50 15 1
2060 How about a round of pumpkin spice latte's? 1.2576 0.06933 66 53 9 4
2061 Next on the agenda, how do we expand Pumpkin Spice into Easter? 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2062 The pie chart doesn't lie, we pumpkins are getting decimated out there. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2063 Projections show we’re going to get smashed 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2064 The way I see it, we have about two weeks before things falls apart. 1.2571 0.06333 70 55 12 3
2065 I've been told we have to diversify. 1.2571 0.05997 70 54 14 2
2066 I understand your concerns about retention, but ultimately spooking from home is unsustainable. 1.2571 0.05997 70 54 14 2
2067 This year’s halloween bash will feature Smashing Pumkins 1.2571 0.05997 70 54 14 2
2068 And on the 31st, all employees will participate in a candlelight vigil. 1.2571 0.06333 70 55 12 3
2069 I hope you'll all join me in getting smashed after this gourd meeting. 1.2571 0.06652 70 56 10 4
2070 It’s time we take the problem of worker burnout more seriously. 1.2571 0.04885 105 81 21 3
2071 Thanks for coming guys, I see your all in a good mood today. 1.2571 0.06956 70 57 8 5
2072 The press is complaining about too much nepotism here. 1.2571 0.05262 70 52 18 0
2073 Don't look so downhearted, our time to shine is coming soon. 1.2571 0.05641 70 53 16 1
2074 The good news is that after Halloween you can take off your masks 1.2571 0.05641 70 53 16 1
2075 I'm letting you all go at the end of the month 1.2571 0.05997 70 54 14 2
2076 It’s the big Halloween party tonight as you all know, but let’s not lose our heads. 1.2571 0.06333 70 55 12 3
2077 What's inside your suit? Mine's shredded paper. 1.2571 0.05069 105 82 19 4
2078 All, it’s time to concede - I DID NOT win the election ! 1.2571 0.05069 105 82 19 4
2079 I say, Jones, that’s a smashing idea! 1.2571 0.06333 70 55 12 3
2080 The media says we're in trouble, but they don't know jack. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2081 Our budget has been gutted. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2082 What I like about this team is our commitment to diversity. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2083 o'lanterns, meet Jack 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
2084 Elon bought the company and made me CEO. You’re all fired! 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2085 I know I wanted to hire all Yes-Men but I did expect more originality for Halloween costumes! 1.2568 0.05113 74 55 19 0
2086 We have to be more than just a bunch of Talking Heads 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
2087 Pumpkin Spice Latte's for all my friends...! 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
2088 Yes Kyle, nothing personal but 'Once you let your guts out you're able to shine' as a slogan is not the vibe we're looking for. Can you make it more Hallmark? 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2089 It seems we've really spooked the markets again. 1.2566 0.04833 113 88 21 4
2090 Be on gourd for more cuts. 1.2564 0.06435 78 63 10 5
2091 I have some very good news. This year's pumpkin spice kickoff has been moved up to July 4. 1.2564 0.05300 78 59 18 1
2092 Listen up! I just came up with a smashing idea... 1.2564 0.05300 78 59 18 1
2093 So, then, it is unanimous. 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
2094 And believe me, if heads roll around here it’s going to be really messy. 1.2564 0.05300 78 59 18 1
2095 ..a priest,a rabbi and a jack-o-lantern walk into a bar 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
2096 Welcome to the inaugural meeting of the diversity committee 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
2097 Okay men time for everyone to light up 🔥🎃 1.2564 0.04976 78 58 20 0
2098 Folks, i know that in september pumpkin spice lattes outdid us, but now its our time to shine 1.2564 0.06171 78 62 12 4
2099 Let's go clockwise around the table and introduce ourselves. My name is Jack O'Lantern." 1.2561 0.05435 82 63 17 2
2100 We’re just not sure you’re the right face for the organization. 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
2101 Do we have any volunteers to work in our pie factory? 1.2561 0.06211 82 66 11 5
2102 Our lawyers have told us we need more Jane O' Lanterns on the Board. 1.2561 0.06678 82 68 7 7
2103 Since we are way out of our field I move we hire a consultant! 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
2104 We have to make some cuts. Who's for pie? 1.2561 0.05435 82 63 17 2
2105 Come on, guys. You all knew when you signed on that it was seasonal work. 1.2561 0.06449 82 67 9 6
2106 The good news is financing is in place. The bad news is Peter Peter is joining the Board. 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
2107 Well, fine! Does anyone have a better idea!? 1.2561 0.06678 82 68 7 7
2108 I think it's time we diversified. 1.2561 0.05151 82 62 19 1
2109 Hello, I’m Elon Musk and you are all fired 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
2110 Jacks, let’s go out there and make it a spooky Halloween. 1.2561 0.05435 82 63 17 2
2111 Pumpkin spice latte and pumpkin pie for everyone, it's on the company 1.2561 0.06211 82 66 11 5
2112 Our pie charts show that not everyone is contributing. 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
2113 Who said we needed to spice it up in here? 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2114 Now, now...you'll love working with the Jill O'lantern. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2115 Who here likes pumpkin pie? Just kidding! 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2116 Sure, profits are down, but the holiday push is ahead of us. Don't lose your gourds. 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
2117 Doesn’t one of you have an idea I don’t have to squash? 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
2118 We need ideas, people! We can’t let those clowns win. 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
2119 And the candle goes to... 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2120 I need one good idea to turn those frowns upside down. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2121 Glad to see that everyone actually gets the memos. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2122 We value diversity above all else. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2123 Peter Peter the pumpkin leader finally realized that his brain trust had been lobotomized. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2124 Where are the pie charts I asked you to prepare? 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
2125 I am pleased to announce that the “Headless Horseman” has made a hostile takeover bid! 1.2553 0.05647 94 75 14 5
2126 Hocus Pocus Group 1.2553 0.06038 94 77 10 7
2127 I thought that you all would be happy. 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
2128 We'll start things off with the layoff list: Jack, you're out. 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
2129 We've had to let the Chief Diversity Officer go. 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
2130 So . . . time to address who will receive golden parachutes in our acquisition by Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater, Inc. 1.2542 0.07087 59 47 9 3
2131 THAT'S how they get the spice??? 1.2542 0.06662 59 46 11 2
2132 Guys I get that we're all, like, huge fans of the movie and everything, but I think it's problematic to bring Johnny Depp back for the sequel. People will learn to love a new Ichabod. 1.2542 0.05717 59 44 15 0
2133 We almost had a deal, but there were too many carve outs. 1.2542 0.06208 59 45 13 1
2134 I can see from your reactions most of you aren’t cut out to make these tough decisions. 1.2542 0.06208 59 45 13 1
2135 We've been purchased by Watermelons International and they will be making some changes. 1.2540 0.06387 63 49 12 2
2136 Welcome to our annual Halloween survivors meeting. 1.2540 0.06776 63 50 10 3
2137 Welcome to diversity training. 1.2540 0.06387 63 49 12 2
2138 This is arbitrary and capricious! 1.2540 0.06387 63 49 12 2
2139 Get out the carving knives, I have some very good news. 1.2537 0.05763 67 51 15 1
2140 Yes, I know - this could have been an email 1.2537 0.06143 67 52 13 2
2141 Ten little pumpkins sitting at a desk Three of you are fired and now there are less 1.2537 0.06501 67 53 11 3
2142 So we’re in agreement. It’s pumpkin spice flavor again! 1.2537 0.06501 67 53 11 3
2143 Where are the happy faces? 1.2535 0.05923 71 55 14 2
2144 So this is how you get a head in my company... 1.2535 0.05573 71 54 16 1
2145 I'm happy to report that Peter Peter has agreed to join us as a full partner. 1.2535 0.06867 71 58 8 5
2146 Why not take the risk? We’ll all be rotting by Thanksgiving, anyway! 1.2535 0.05923 71 55 14 2
2147 This meeting needs a straw man. 1.2535 0.05923 71 55 14 2
2148 As you all know, our primary focus this quarter will be on stalk buy-backs... 1.2535 0.06567 71 57 10 4
2149 Profits are down guys. Heads will roll 1.2535 0.05923 71 55 14 2
2150 So - can any of you honestly say you were great this year 1.2533 0.06869 75 62 7 6
2151 And now the end is near 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2152 All in favor grin, all opposed frown. The grins have it! 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2153 We are all going to have to work overtime on the last day of October. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2154 I'm sorry to say this, but you're all cut. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
2155 Relax. Ignore the pie chart. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2156 And now the report from our new CPO. Ready, Jack? 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
2157 Guys,get your carving knives out because these profits are gonna make you want to smile. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2158 Of course, heads will roll… 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2159 Last on today’s agenda, The band, Smashing Pumpkins, is looking for a new CD cover featuring a catapult. They need volunteers! 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
2160 So....Where are we on the "Eating Pumpkin Pie causes Male Pattern Baldness" campaign? 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
2161 Oh Boo-hoo! Ralph fell off the window ledge. He’s completely smashed. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2162 On to more important things, Dave do you have the carving knife? 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
2163 Now, do any of you worry you weren’t cut out for this work? 1.2533 0.05400 75 57 17 1
2164 Welcome back to our yearly gourd meeting... 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
2165 So our next big development project: how do we get these to light up from the inside in a medically safe and environmentally friendly way? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2166 Our Halloween Fun Day is coming up - I'll need some volunteers for the smashed pumpkin contest. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2167 Don’t worry. I assure you we are doing everything in our power to locate Peter Pumpkin eater! 1.2532 0.05243 79 60 18 1
2168 Are there any volunteers for headless horseman or do we draw straws? 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2169 Santa keeps violating the Black Friday Agreement. 1.2532 0.04923 79 59 20 0
2170 I loved the cartoon filters we did on Zoom and want to continue the tradition now that we are back in person 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2171 The Gourd of Directors announces another round of cuts. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2172 why so sad? You all have a seat at the table and not on the porch. 1.2532 0.05243 79 60 18 1
2173 Thank you, Jack. Next we’ll hear from Jack, then Jack, and then you, Jack, after Jack. Go ahead, Jack. 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2174 Here’s news to reverse those frowns— pumpkin spice is no longer seasonal! 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
2175 Our company is no longer scary. We need fresh ideas. So scare me. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
2176 What do you mean you didn't bring a candle..? 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2177 One of you is moonlighting as a pumpkin coach for Cinderella. She's converting all of her horse powered vehicles to electric. I guarantee you'll lose your job here at Horse Power, Inc. if you continue. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2178 That guy bought Twitter, and they call US punkin' heads? 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
2179 Our outside sales manager Mr. Peter Peter has a wife, but can't keep her so I took it upon myself to suggest the members of this board would see she is kept very well while he is away. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2180 Thank you for carving out time for this meeting today. 1.2530 0.04801 83 62 21 0
2181 Great news, we've been acquired by Starbucks and assigned to the Pumpkin Spice Division, and they said they will find a use for the whole team! 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
2182 All in favor of Artificial Incandescence, say AI. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
2183 I’m absolutely gutted to be leaving you all 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
2184 Great thinking with “Trump’s White House”, Kevin. I think we really nailed the scary Halloween costumes this year. 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
2185 Diversity isn't so scary. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2186 Everyone wants a piece of the pie. Gentlemen, WE ARE THE PIE! 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2187 Better than being a bunch of knuckleheads. 1.2529 0.06165 87 71 10 6
2188 This meeting is lit. 1.2529 0.05944 87 70 12 5
2189 Realizing your boss had his brains scooped out. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2190 This is my last meeting as your CEO, Ichabod Crane will be here for the meeting in a few days, I hope you give him a warm welcome 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
2191 To meet our diversity target, I am offering a new incentive to anyone who would like to be known as Jill. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2192 Profits were low last quarter so we’re making a shift from ‘seeds’ to ‘filling’ 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2193 Now listen here, all you punks...this thing's gonna get every Jack-o-Lantern lit up from here to Massachusetts...and by golly we're gonna stay lit up! 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2194 Fellow Atheist Pumpkins, let us consider the motion that there is no Gourd... 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2195 Our stocks rose all through October. Who could have seen demand suddenly crash? 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2196 Management says we need to cut down our workforce and increase production of pies. 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
2197 Gentlemen. We are being attacked by hungry squirrels! How can we protect ourselves? 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2198 I really want to thank you. The company is desperate for more pumpkin pie and I knew I could count on you to give your all. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
2199 Glad to see our stalks are up 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
2200 They all knew Jack was the perfect talking head to spice things up at the board meeting, but they hated him anyway. 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
2201 seriously, is everybody here also named Jack? 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
2202 We need to smash heads, if need be, to reach our third quarter goals. 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
2203 In a moment, knives will be distributed, and we will turn those frowns upside down! 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
2204 The good news is that the demand for pumpkin spice is through the roof. The bad news, for some of you ... 1.2500 0.06299 64 50 12 2
2205 ...and then the new Taylor Swift album played over and over again. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
2206 Yes, the rumors are true: In 48 hours we'll all be mulch. 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
2207 I heard they have pie in the cafeteria today. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
2208 Well, it's unanimous then. 1.2500 0.06682 64 51 10 3
2209 I'm thinking with a witch or two a ghost and maybe even a black cat our board would be more inclusive. 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
2210 Judging by your carved faces, I see you're not happy with the new bonus structure... 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
2211 Wait, what? A DEI initiative? Are you out of your gourd? 1.2500 0.05690 68 52 15 1
2212 We, as a board, have been called empty-headed. We need to respond. Suggestions? 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
2213 OK, now that we’re all out of Linus’ pumpkin patch, I call this meeting to order….. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
2214 For a second there I had the seed of an idea, but it's gone now. 1.2500 0.06063 68 53 13 2
2215 Nobody *wants* the 'Trumpkin' rebrand, Peter, but the likeness is uncanny, and we all have bills to pay. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
2216 I want to see more smiles around the table! 1.2500 0.06415 68 54 11 3
2217 Okay, let's turn those frowns around even if it means standing on your heads! 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2218 I know the situation is dire; I'm just carved this way. 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
2219 Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Why the long faces? This diversity thing; it, too, shall pass. 1.2500 0.06563 60 47 11 2
2220 I need a change of attitude folks, or heads will roll 1.2500 0.05339 76 58 17 1
2221 Let's carve a smile and have a great week everyone! 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
2222 Our new carve-out should help squash the homogeneity in this gourdroom. 1.2500 0.06682 64 51 10 3
2223 So the latest sales figures indicate people strongly prefer plastic pumpkins. Fortunately for me, as soon as I heard this I dumped everything and went short. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
2224 All right! All hands on deck to tackle our biggest challenge: how to stay relevant past October 31. 1.2500 0.07066 68 56 7 5
2225 Thank you for hiring me as the new director. My name is Peter-Peter. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
2226 I don't like anymore than you do....but those little decorative gourds are here to stay. 1.2500 0.06415 68 54 11 3
2227 LED's are for CEO's only! 1.2500 0.06682 64 51 10 3
2228 Sorry fellows, there's only room for one Jack at the table. 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
2229 Great news! We’re going head first into the frozen pie market. 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
2230 You’re all canned, pumpkins! 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
2231 We're going into the pie business. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
2232 Second prize is .... steak knives! 1.2500 0.06415 68 54 11 3
2233 All in favor of an eyeglasses and dental plan, raise your hand 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2234 well it's after midnight 1.2500 0.06063 68 53 13 2
2235 So what do I have to do to get you guys to lighten up? 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
2236 Sure, we're in a bad patch now, but maybe a knife at our throat is just what it'll take for us to finally see what we're made of. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
2237 We're not sure why yet, but dental premiums will triple next year. 1.2500 0.05690 68 52 15 1
2238 So we all agree except one that a stem is a part of jack-o'-lantern. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
2239 OK, team.....today is the day we put our heads together and create something special. Who brought the cinnamon? 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2240 Sales are down so I am afraid some of you will have to go seed. 1.2500 0.05893 64 49 14 1
2241 So, who booked Smashing Pumpkins for the Christmas party band? 1.2500 0.07043 64 52 8 4
2242 Meeting at the gourd room 1.2500 0.05637 60 45 15 0
2243 I think that we have oranged things very nicely. 1.2500 0.06563 60 47 11 2
2244 I told you Botox worked. 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
2245 In time, I think you'll get used to wearing a seasonal Covid mask. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
2246 Off with their heads I say! 1.2500 0.05735 96 78 12 6
2247 All right team! Again this is our season, let’s make the most of it. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2248 Our terms on this board will expire in two to three weeks. 1.2500 0.06415 68 54 11 3
2249 We need more individuality in this room. 1.2500 0.05046 84 64 19 1
2250 You'll all be filling in at our Pie Division next week. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2251 We must be prepared to SQUASH any competition this Halloween. 1.2500 0.06682 64 51 10 3
2252 Quaker meeting has begun, no more laughing, no more fun. 1.2500 0.06063 68 53 13 2
2253 I think we all knew these cuts were coming. 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
2254 Heh, heh, I could see a light go on in your heads when I mentioned the severance package. 1.2500 0.05339 76 58 17 1
2255 Hmmm, it looks like many of you won't make it to next week's meeting 1.2500 0.05637 60 45 15 0
2256 Forget the long term.. this is our time to shine. 1.2500 0.06749 68 55 9 4
2257 I had to fire Jack — he was all squishy inside 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
2258 Let’s carve out some positivity for a change. 1.2500 0.07066 68 56 7 5
2259 Next week my stepson Peter will be joining us as our new Diversity Director. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
2260 Why am I always smiling? I guess I was just carved out that way. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
2261 OK, it's settled, we meet back here in the spring. 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
2262 So you miss working from your porch? 1.2500 0.06415 68 54 11 3
2263 Well, that was not supposed to be a secret ballot, but... 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
2264 It looks like we've been carved-out of the corporate structure. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
2265 So boys, all tricks and no treats. You hear me? 1.2500 0.05038 92 71 19 2
2266 Good news,everyone: Our third quarter numbers are up. Which is why I have this smile carved onto my face. 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
2267 It's true we lost Frank and Ralph and Doug, but Starbucks has awarded us a contract for our Pumpkin Spice Coffee. 1.2500 0.05893 64 49 14 1
2268 corporate would like to emphasize while dressing up is not required,your participation will be reviewed while discussing your Christmas bonus. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
2269 The famous Jack O'Lantern begins the tricky business of persuading the board to see things his way. 1.2500 0.06563 60 47 11 2
2270 Don’t take it so hard — some of my best friends are pies! 1.2500 0.05690 68 52 15 1
2271 The lowest performer will be featured in this year’s pumpkin carving contest. 1.2500 0.05000 76 57 19 0
2272 If you don't like this uniform , just wait until November!" 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
2273 I’m afraid Mr. Billy Corgan has finally completed the acquisition of our company. 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
2274 If stocks drop more, heads will rot! 1.2500 0.06523 76 62 9 5
2275 Meeting adjourned. Who wants pie? 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
2276 . I wonder what those eggheads are doing in the other conference room. 1.2500 0.06415 68 54 11 3
2277 Have you all lost your minds?? 1.2500 0.06682 64 51 10 3
2278 See? We can be fun. We’re not ruthless. We have holiday spirit. Who could argue that? 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
2279 Oh my gourd… we’re doing so great this year!! Totally squashing the competition!! 👏👏 1.2500 0.06063 68 53 13 2
2280 What a coincidence - seems we're all named Jack! 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
2281 Hey! All your frowns are on the cutting edge. 1.2500 0.05893 64 49 14 1
2282 This year will be a smash. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
2283 As you all know, the end of October comes with massive downsizing. 1.2500 0.06523 76 62 9 5
2284 As a company reminder, it is unethical to bring pumpkin spice lattes into the office. 1.2500 0.07043 64 52 8 4
2285 A jack-o-all trades is a master of none 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
2286 Listen here Jack, it's about time we change our demeanor around here. 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
2287 Guys..I’m going to be honest..November is looking like a rough month for us. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2288 The sole agenda of this meeting is to find out why we get replaced with reindeers after the 31st? 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
2289 Pumpkin Pitch 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
2290 So hear me out, the fairy godmother said she has a great idea for all of us 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
2291 Dental? Why dental? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2292 What say we just forget about the market and let's all get smashed? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2293 So are we all agreed no Pumpkin Pie this year? 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
2294 All you gotta do is carve that frown upside down 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2295 We need to prepare for pumpkin season cut offs and avoid being caught off gourd! 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2296 Our kind is getting picked, pulled and carved. We must do something. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2297 I’m so glad to see all department heads are in attendance! Thanks for carving out the time! 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2298 As you know, we're going to have to make more cuts this week. 1.2471 0.05268 85 66 17 2
2299 I’d rather that you all got lit later tonight than getting smashed & losing your heads. 1.2471 0.06241 85 70 9 6
2300 It feels a bit strange at first, but lip botox can change your life. 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
2301 Smashing. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2302 All this in favor of naming Zucchini the new official Halloween squash . . . 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2303 Let’s carve some time to talk about Halloween 1.2471 0.06241 85 70 9 6
2304 They want our heads on a platter 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
2305 Jack, Jack,Jack, Jack,Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack and Jack junior... 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
2306 And now, I think, is the time to carve up last quarter's earnings. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
2307 Alright, Jack, you’re up. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
2308 You all are just a bunch of pumpkin heads. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
2309 Pumpkin pie off the menu until after October 31. 1.2469 0.06923 81 69 4 8
2310 I'm not smiling, you idiot. They had to draw it that way to demonstrate that I'm the one speaking in the cartoon. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
2311 At last, we confirmed the band for our party: The Smashing Pumpkins! 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
2312 This holiday season, we’re giving back to the community. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
2313 We can't put it off anymore; it's time for the bobblehead vote... 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2314 This year, we are going to squash the competition. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2315 My wife passed yesterday. yall want some pumkin pie? 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
2316 Oh and don't forget team, on All Saints' Day we switch to turkey heads! 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2317 I’m here to announce that the board has rejected the proposed carve-out. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
2318 Good morning gentlemen; welcome to the daily rind. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
2319 We got carved up last quarter. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
2320 Who here knows what a smile is 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2321 Indeed, their seedy business dealings have been squashed. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
2322 Welcome! The rumour’s true. Our corporate image will now be all smiles. I had the re-carving done as you can see and it was quick and painless. And, I have your individual rectification appointments right here. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
2323 The HR department has, similarly, been turned into mice, so I’m frankly not sure where to redirect your complaints to. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2324 Quiet, I immediately want one volunteer for this year's Jack O Lantern. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
2325 One more crack about CFO Ichabod and heads will roll. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
2326 I think it's the microdosing. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2327 . . and they need ten pumpkins for the pie 1.2468 0.04945 77 58 19 0
2328 Good news! Pumpkin Spice! Bad news. Pumpkin spice. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
2329 If we are not profitable by the end of October,heads will roll. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
2330 We're considering rebranding to Squash-o-lantern to be more inclusive. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
2331 These CDC recommendations have really gone off the rails. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
2332 No Jack, I don't think we have a diversity problem at this company. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2333 smashing, no? 1.2468 0.06445 77 63 9 5
2334 'Anyone know the home address of that prick Santa Claus?' 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
2335 ABC. A-Always. B-Be. C-Carving. Always Be Carving. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
2336 Why aren’t you all smiling..?! We’ve succeeded in culturally appropriating The Day of the Dead and monetising it globally for our own needs..! 1.2468 0.06445 77 63 9 5
2337 Let me be the first one to squash the rumors. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
2338 We have to put our heads together and find out how to temper this so called ‘pumpkin spice economy’- it seems inflation can’t even help us with this one. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
2339 i’m calling this gourd meeting into session. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
2340 I'm afraid the company is about to be carved up. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
2341 We need to elect the next chairman of the gourd 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
2342 I think we are ready to go door to door... 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
2343 Great news, we've landed the Ichabod Crane account! 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
2344 I'm all for Halloween festivities, but this is going over-gourd. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
2345 And so I have decided to step down as Great Pumpkin, effective immediately. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
2346 I am sorry to report that Joe is not here. He got smashed at the party last night. 1.2466 0.05080 73 55 18 0
2347 Can we just stop the Trump impressions and get on with the meeting?” 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
2348 typical committee meeting 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
2349 Let’s plan our next carve out for October 31 2023. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
2350 I warned you there were going to be some cuts 1.2464 0.05225 69 52 17 0
2351 …and for our November 23rd meeting turkey costumes are mandatory. 1.2464 0.05225 69 52 17 0
2352 Welcome to the first meeting of the (PA) Pumpkin Anonymous 1.2464 0.05619 69 53 15 1
2353 that scent? wow, you noticed? it’s a little bit of chili oil mixed with vinegar, and i swear to god it’s a miracle. it smells great, keeps the squirrels from eating me, and gives any redneck, teenager, or frat pledge who fucks me a delightful tingle. 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
2354 And by switching from candle to LED last quarter, we’ve reduced the cost of the employee life insurance plan by 28%. 1.2464 0.05619 69 53 15 1
2355 If anyone disagrees I'll empty your head and stick a lighted candle in it. 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
2356 That’s ten votes for treat, one vote for trick. Trick wins. 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
2357 Gentlemen, let’s put our heads together and carve out a plan for this year’s budget 1.2464 0.06660 69 56 9 4
2358 unfortunately, the roll-out has been pushed back to November 1 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
2359 Waiting for the smashing pumpkins concert like….. 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2360 I think we can all agree that our style has an expiration date! 1.2464 0.05619 69 53 15 1
2361 Actually, the smile is scarier. You all just look sad. 1.2464 0.06660 69 56 9 4
2362 I’ve been told we have an issue with diversity of thought here… 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2363 Sadly, our CMO is now a pie. 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2364 Now that we're carved, we only have about a week to make the company successful. 1.2462 0.05814 65 50 14 1
2365 Either turn those frowns upside down or you're fired. 1.2462 0.06214 65 51 12 2
2366 Some of you have expressed concerns about the company dental plan. 1.2462 0.05814 65 50 14 1
2367 Where is thumpkin!! 1.2462 0.06589 65 52 10 3
2368 Ten heads are better than one, even if they’re pumpkin heads. 1.2462 0.05814 65 50 14 1
2369 I can't fucking believe you guys carved frowny faces. Have you seen the numbers this quarter? 1.2462 0.06589 65 52 10 3
2370 Which one of you is Jack, again? 1.2462 0.06589 65 52 10 3
2371 I'll be frank. This company's going to seed and there's not a dam thing we can do about it. 1.2462 0.05814 65 50 14 1
2372 As your new CEO, I think you'll find a few cuts here and there and we'll all be smiling. 1.2462 0.06214 65 51 12 2
2373 Roll Call: O’Lantern?” “Here” “O’Lantern?” “Here” “O’Lantern?” 1.2462 0.06589 65 52 10 3
2374 ...And no one is leaving until we figure out this November sales drop off. 1.2459 0.06877 61 49 9 3
2375 Our shareholders are demanding more diversity on our board. 1.2459 0.06468 61 48 11 2
2376 I regret to tell you that your services will no longer be required come November 1st. 1.2459 0.06031 61 47 13 1
2377 All in favor of Linus as the Great Pumpkin, say aye. 1.2459 0.05559 61 46 15 0
2378 Hi. My name is Elon. 1.2459 0.06877 61 49 9 3
2379 Agreed. Let's abolish all horses, and even the ponies. 1.2459 0.07264 61 50 7 4
2380 We can talk about your bonus in November. 1.2459 0.06877 61 49 9 3
2381 I think these new cuts will really change the atmosphere around here. 1.2459 0.06031 61 47 13 1
2382 Is it stuffy in here, or is it just me? 1.2459 0.06468 61 48 11 2
2383 Tomorrow we squash the competition! 1.2456 0.06754 57 45 10 2
2384 For the last quarter, we’re going dark.” 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
2385 Welcome to the gourd meeting! 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
2386 Thank you all for carving time out for this meeting. 1.2449 0.04824 98 76 20 2
2387 I got the head of the table by smiling, folks, but my insides are as rotten as yours 1.2449 0.05439 98 79 14 5
2388 Our trick/treat ratio has never been higher! 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
2389 We're facing serious competition from the Swedes this year. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
2390 Hello pumpkin pie! 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
2391 We had a smashingly good quarter…..sorry, bad word choice. 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
2392 We got carved up pretty good this quarter. The CEO said we don't know Jack. 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
2393 Good news. You are all being transferred to our pie division! 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
2394 I'm glad you were all able to carve out time for this meeting. 1.2442 0.04660 86 65 21 0
2395 So how we do all feel about soy candles? 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2396 We’ll need to land this deal by Halloween or it’s in the garbage. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2397 While imitation is the highest form of flattery; here at Apple, I appreciate innovative thinking 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2398 Who’s going to be Santa at this years Christmas party? 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2399 Our heads will all be on a platter after Halloween! 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
2400 Enjoy the lattes, I spiced them myself. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2401 Gentlemen, in six weeks your heads will be mush. 1.2439 0.06622 82 69 6 7
2402 Right! Now let's see some smiles. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2403 We need a volunteer to help make the holiday party pie. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2404 Here it is everyone. What you've been waiting for. The voting is in and the pies have it. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
2405 We’ll have to make some additional cuts this year. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2406 Great to see so many new faces at this month's gourd meeting. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2407 Welcome to our inaugural gender reveal Board of Directors meeting. Now on the count of three… 1.2436 0.04892 78 59 19 0
2408 So who is first for the Pumpkin Chucking Contest? 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2409 Gentleman, the stockholders have caught on that this company is in fact ran by a bunch of potemkins not pumpkins,you can take your disguises off now. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2410 I'm thinking of rebranding the whole thing "pumpkin awareness month" 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2411 I see my little ruse didn’t help with the Board downsizing. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2412 I appreciate everyone's spirit, especially you Jack. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2413 Ok, just so you know, we're all pumkinheads! 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2414 Sorry, no Snickers at this meeting. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2415 I've finally realized: you're all just a bunch of ninny-muggin pumpkin heads 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2416 I'm sure you're all wondering why I've asked you here today. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2417 If profits are not up this quarter, I will release the squirrels! 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2418 I appreciate everyone carving time out of their schedule. It’s midnight. Let’s get started. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2419 I suppose you're all wondering why I've gathered you here today. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2420 Now, for my smashing idea. . . 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2421 Today we're going to carve out the company's new mission statement 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2422 Thank you all for joining the diversity committee… 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2423 The numbers are looking good, team. In a decade, we'll be more popular than Christmas and those elves can rot in hell. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2424 Don't look at me like that 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2425 And the holiday party is going to be a smash. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
2426 I, for one, think we're doing great, considering this is a seasonal business and our heads are empty. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
2427 You must be wondering why I’ve asked you to be here today? 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
2428 Think about it, folks: Children going door to door begging for food... The current economic climate means every day can be Halloween! 1.2432 0.05378 74 57 16 1
2429 Well, I can guess by your expressions that most of you were carved AFTER the 3rd quarter numbers were released. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
2430 Considering past performance, only a third of you will still be here by Halloween. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
2431 I see we're all patched in. 1.2432 0.05378 74 57 16 1
2432 ... so before I went under the knife, I said; "turn that frown upside down!" 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
2433 The new owners despise nepotism, so I have to make some changes around here. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
2434 The bad news is sales are their lowest in a decade. The good new is, I got a face lift. 1.2432 0.06613 74 61 8 5
2435 We are here to squash the competition 1.2432 0.05378 74 57 16 1
2436 As your new CEO, replacing Jack O. Lantern ... 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
2437 I hope you find this meeting illuminating. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
2438 My management style is a little spicy but you'll get used to it. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
2439 I have the greatest orange face the world has ever seen! 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
2440 Yes, Jack O'Lantern, we all need nicknames or these meetings will continue to drag on. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
2441 Come on you guys, you can’t all be Jack-O’-Lanterns! 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
2442 The strawberry-rhubarb merger poses a serious threat. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
2443 I just blow dried the cat. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
2444 All those in favor say “trick or treat”. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
2445 From here forward, we look at everything with an open mind. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
2446 I believe I've carved out a space in which we can all communicate openly 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
2447 -“As you know, the company will lay off all employees starting next month.” 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
2448 Mr. Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater is coming in next week. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
2449 …and then he had the audacity to call me an airhead! 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
2450 I am pleased to announce our experimental carving surgery has put a smile on my face. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
2451 We are agreed then? We'll call the new corporate campus The Patch to remind us of our humble beginnings. 1.2424 0.06849 66 54 8 4
2452 So, you’ve heard? I’ve sold to Perfect Pie Company! 1.2424 0.06499 66 53 10 3
2453 Now for an update from our diversity and inclusion committee. 1.2424 0.06499 66 53 10 3
2454 I expect to see some new faces here first thing tomorrow morning! 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
2455 Jack has another empty headed plan to squash the competition. 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
2456 Would anyone like pie? 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
2457 Its that time of year again, so let's just try and keep our heads everyone 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
2458 First on today's agenda is that we need to decide how to carve up the pie. 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
2459 It's that time of year again. Stay safe. Stay inside. 1.2421 0.04899 95 74 19 2
2460 She jackin o’ my lantern til I holler “ween.” 1.2419 0.06777 62 50 9 3
2461 Those turnips across the pond won't see what hit them. 1.2419 0.07157 62 51 7 4
2462 Don’t be a Jack-be-little !!! 1.2419 0.05946 62 48 13 1
2463 Carve out the dead weight? Smashing idea! 1.2419 0.07157 62 51 7 4
2464 The Executive Gourd meeting will now come to order. 1.2419 0.05946 62 48 13 1
2465 Bright ideas, anyone? 1.2419 0.06375 62 49 11 2
2466 These are unprecedented times and the firm will need to make some sacrifices, beginning with the low-hanging fruit. 1.2419 0.06777 62 50 9 3
2467 I think its just smashing that everyone could carve out some time to attend this year’s Gourd of Directors meeting! 🎃 🎃 🎃 1.2419 0.06777 62 50 9 3
2468 Would anyone like a human spice latte? 1.2419 0.06375 62 49 11 2
2469 A motion to squash is on the table. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
2470 Good meeting. Shall we carve out some time for next week? 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
2471 Now don”t laugh until you’ve heard the rest. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
2472 Sometimes it seems like our emotions are written all over our face. 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
2473 Any ideas about how to boost our “Old Spice” sales? 1.2418 0.04776 91 70 20 1
2474 It’s time to squash the competition. 1.2414 0.07505 58 48 6 4
2475 This meeting of the Gourd of Trustees is now in session 1.2414 0.07505 58 48 6 4
2476 It wasn't pretty when Bob got smashed at last year's company Halloween party, so too keep it from happening to someone else, here's no open bar this year. 1.2414 0.04895 87 67 19 1
2477 So I'm putting all of you out on the street. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2478 C’mon now, turn that frown upside down 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2479 You could say heads will roll November 1 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2480 So next week, I expect to only see happy faces carved around this table, understand? 1.2414 0.06179 58 45 12 1
2481 Human Spice Latte sales have gone up 1.2411 0.05267 112 92 13 7
2482 Divest spice? You’re joking, right? 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2483 Does anyone have a fresh theme idea for next month's meeting? We've done turkeys so many years in a row now. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2484 The problem is that we have too many pumpkins and not enough Jacks. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2485 Can we sustain this until the marketing numbers come in after Thanksgiving? 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2486 Halloween is canceled. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2487 " Let's turn off the lights and have a good laugh!" 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2488 That “no meetings after midnight” rule just made a lot of sense. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2489 Gentlemen, the board has decided not to provide seed funding for your Initial Pulp Offering. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2490 The short-term outline is scary - but that can be a good thing. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2491 Any one of you not named Jack can get up and leave right now. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2492 Thank goodness you're not all yes-men. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2493 Remember, we pioneered this whole "work from home" thing -- and we got lit. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2494 C’mon guys, let’s turn those frowns upside down - it’s pumpkin spice season after all! 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2495 You need to carve out some time in your schedules for the annual pie contest and participation will be mandatory 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2496 …and that’s why I need those frowns turned upside down! Bring in the knives! 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2497 We are on a strict timeline here. 1.2405 0.05164 79 61 17 1
2498 Who ordered the pumpkin spice tea? 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
2499 This is what happens when you drink pumpkin spice lattes every day. 1.2405 0.04839 79 60 19 0
2500 I'm happy to announce that starting next year, the company will be offering a long overdue dental plan. 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
2501 On Halloween we masquerade as people! 1.2405 0.05164 79 61 17 1
2502 I’m happy to announce last years ideas of holding this meeting in a patch has been squashed. Just like Ted. 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
2503 This is how we're going to squash our competition this Fall... 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
2504 ‘ I didn’t know your idea to plant seeds for future growth would have such an effect on the board’ 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2505 Alas, it's too late to have a brainstorming session! 1.2405 0.05164 79 61 17 1
2506 Why the long faces? It’s a board meeting, not a bored meeting. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
2507 I will be stepping down as chairman of the gourds. 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
2508 Well boys, it’s October and our future’s never looked brighter. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
2509 Will one of you at least smile at my jokes? 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
2510 I told you to pick the smiling emoji! 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
2511 We’re going to need to make more cuts. 1.2400 0.04965 75 57 18 0
2512 Good news. Butternut squash makes better pumpkin pies. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
2513 We need a couple of volunteers to help with product development in the pie department 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
2514 Well, here’s something that may bring a smile to your face . . . . 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
2515 So we all agree the corporate sports facilities should include a squash ground? 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
2516 We're going to have to make some difficult cuts this quarter--starting with your frown, Jenkins. 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
2517 Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater has bought our company. Now let's adjourn to the break room where he has a special lunch for us. 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
2518 Our numbers this quarter are terrifying. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
2519 Yes the rumors are true, our company has just been bought out by Starbucks. 1.2400 0.06532 75 62 8 5
2520 Yes jack? 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
2521 ...orange you glad I didn't say banana again? 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
2522 Our numbers are down this quarter. I’m afraid we’re in for a rough patch. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
2523 Time to turn that frown upside down. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
2524 Let’s try to get through this meeting before anyone starts rotting from the inside out. 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
2525 The new company jingle will be a cover of this Smashing Pumpkins hit song 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
2526 I'm told our interim CEO will be Ichabod Crane and that heads will roll 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
2527 We need to really light a fire in our employees this quarter. 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
2528 My goal was never to frighten you. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
2529 Hey. I thought we were yams too. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
2530 If I don't see a more positive attitude around here, you're all going to be out on the curb. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
2531 We’ve decided to diversify. Several gourds, sweet potatoes and squashes will be joining the executive team. 1.2394 0.06792 71 59 7 5
2532 We decided to discontinue the latte 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
2533 You'd be smiling too if you were cut up for it! 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
2534 I’d give my mother for Fred’s pumpkin pie, and I did. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
2535 Before we get started….. I know you have all been concerned about the recent cuts… 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
2536 Should we not meet our numbers, heads are going to pie. 1.2394 0.06792 71 59 7 5
2537 I’m frightened at the lack of diversity at this company 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
2538 In an effort to reduce our carbon footprint, we’re going flameless 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
2539 We will do well 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
2540 Phil, wipe that look off your face before I smash it 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
2541 This year the employee benefit scheme will include complimentary anti-ageing fertiliser cream. Remember the company motto: if you’re rotten on the inside, spray the fertiliser for a smile! 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
2542 I think we can all agree that our diversity, equity and inclusion programs have been a success. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
2543 Whoa, I said you will all GET a piece of the pie, not BE a piece of the pie. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
2544 'Revenues are down so let's carve out a happy face for investors this year. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
2545 ...and after the Halloween party we'll all head over to the pie factory. 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
2546 As Pumpkin head, I officially declare that starting October 31st 2022, the term Jack o’Lantern is renamed Jack & Jill O’Lantern 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
2547 How about adding Election Eve? 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
2548 Jack,any strategy to eliminate redundancies at the company? 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
2549 Next time, let's play squash. 1.2388 0.05663 67 52 14 1
2550 I'm convinced most of you have squirrels for brains. 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
2551 Now we all look equal. 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
2552 'guys.. we need to talk about Kanye' 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
2553 You've all been invited to a lookalike contest of a former President. 1.2388 0.06755 67 55 8 4
2554 If our employees get their wish, Smashing Pumpkins will headline the company party. 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
2555 Don’t worry! I’m gonna turn everything upside down. 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
2556 You idiots have to come up with something better or heads will smash! 1.2388 0.05663 67 52 14 1
2557 We’re making some cuts around here and I don’t mean a new nostril. 1.2388 0.06412 67 54 10 3
2558 To assuage fears of layoffs, for next week's corporate party I've booked The Smashing Pumpkins. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2559 Welcome to the gourd-meeting. We meet before the holiday when some of you might feel empty headed. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2560 Any suggestions for where our “Creative Thinking 2023” workshop should be held? 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
2561 Guess what kind of pie chart we'll be sharing today?" 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2562 And for Thanksgiving we can all wear helmets that look like turkeys 1.2386 0.05826 88 72 11 5
2563 Why am I the only smiley face? 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2564 The profits of Big Pumpkin are forecast to increase 10,000% this week. 1.2381 0.06680 63 51 9 3
2565 Our October diversity survey results are in, and it doesn't look good. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2566 Heck, by the middle of November most of you would be rotting on the curb anyway. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2567 I brought you here today to talk about a hostile takeover of Thanksgiving. 1.2381 0.05409 63 48 15 0
2568 The Gourd Room 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
2569 Are we all feeling a bit light-headed? 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2570 Tricks for thee, treats for me. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2571 On the bright side, we are a cut above the rest 1.2381 0.05863 63 49 13 1
2572 Heads will roll. 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
2573 We need to get carvative, spookiness is down globally this year. 1.2381 0.06680 63 51 9 3
2574 Gentlemen,today we vote on who gets to keep the name Jack. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2575 I'm being forced out. Jill O'Lantern starts on Monday. 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2576 Great news! We have booked The Smashing Pumpkins to headline our annual meeting. 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
2577 Don't worry about the financials. After Halloween, none of us will be here. 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
2578 Anyone who says ‘Trick or Treat’ is fired 1.2381 0.05409 63 48 15 0
2579 Ok, so the “Frank O’lantern” rebranding effort doesn’t seem to be going very well”. 1.2381 0.05863 63 49 13 1
2580 And as my father used to say, 'A frown is just a smile turned upside down.'" 1.2381 0.05863 63 49 13 1
2581 The one month outlook on this plan is rotten. 1.2381 0.07053 63 52 7 4
2582 Is it quiet quitting, or burnout? 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
2583 A meeting of vegetative minds. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
2584 Gentlemen, I am pleased to say that once again our October sales are through the roof! 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2585 The motion calling for pumpkin spice lattes to be outlawed is hereby ratified. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2586 I say we should change "Peter, Peter pumpkin eater had wife and couldn't keep her." to "Peter Peter pumpkin leader had a wife who was a keeper." 1.2376 0.05477 101 83 12 6
2587 Guess who won the annual pumpkin carving contest again. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2588 I'm in the mood for a pumpkin spice latte. Any takers? 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2589 Need some ideas people—if a light goes on in your head, speak up. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2590 Welcome to the first meeting of the Ichabods. Our first agenda item is: pumpkin spice season, where do we stand? 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2591 Am I the only one here who notices Jerry, third from my right, has no peduncle? It's why I'm the boss and you're a bunch of airheads. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2592 We've been acquired by a Pie company! 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2593 For the Board's annual photo, I want to see huge smiles. Like this." 1.2375 0.06225 80 66 9 5
2594 Who ordered the pumpkin pie? 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
2595 I thought we could work on our diversity problem together. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2596 Team, please all put your heads together and get the pie production back on track. 1.2375 0.06225 80 66 9 5
2597 I've decided on the bonuses. I get the treats. You get the tricks. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2598 Team - I'm sorry to say, come November 1 our presence in this organization is no longer needed. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2599 Here is my plan to "rebrand" candy corn. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2600 I think it’s an improvement 1.2373 0.06549 59 47 10 2
2601 All of you get a carving knife,and turn those frowns upside down! 1.2373 0.06549 59 47 10 2
2602 This is too much seed money 1.2373 0.06549 59 47 10 2
2603 Who turned out the light? 1.2373 0.06549 59 47 10 2
2604 Let’s carve those frowns upside down. We’ve got work to do. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
2605 Stop looking at me like I'm out of my gourd. 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
2606 who's stupid idea was it to put lite candles in our heads 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2607 How many pumpins does it take to come up with a resolution that will not be overturned by the ceo pumpkin. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2608 I need volunteers for the pumpkin pie eating contest. 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
2609 I'm as upset as you all are. Just can't show it. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2610 We need to figure out how to turn that frown upside down. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2611 Okay, everyone, we have to think outside the jack-o'-lantern this year 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2612 Guys, who do you see in the mirror every morning when you wake up? 1.2368 0.05031 114 93 15 6
2613 But can we do it without our investors getting spooked? 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2614 Who carved your frown upside down 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2615 I hate always delivering bad news, but we lost Jack to the squirrels last night, and it’s November 1st, so you’re all fired. 1.2364 0.06337 55 43 11 1
2616 I’m resigning, I’m a shell of my former self 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
2617 Let’s face it - it’s time for greater variety of gourds on this Board. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
2618 Anyone get a chance to read the article I sent you titled, 'Standing Out From the Herd?' 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
2619 Now how do we carve up this market? 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2620 I'm pleased to announce that we've accepted the Spice Girls' offer. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
2621 I’m sure a little cosmetic surgery will put a smile on your faces. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2622 HR and I have decided we need more spice on the board. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2623 According to corporate, overhead cuts will start November 1. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
2624 Portrait photo of the annual November 1st meeting of the Trump Organization. 1.2361 0.06706 72 60 7 5
2625 We all need to get dental appointments. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2626 Are you telling me that if we cut the tops of our heads and pull out the seeds and roast them that we can sell them? I think we’re onto something here. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2627 We exceeded all revenue forecasts! Smashing! 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2628 It’s just business. The Squirrels are willing to eat the 3 quarter losses 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
2629 Looks like I'm not the only thick-headed decision maker at this table. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
2630 The year Halloween fell on a Monday 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
2631 This year’s initiative is sure to be a smash 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
2632 Let’s start our meeting today by turning our frowns upside down! 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
2633 So we will end the meeting now. Before the turkey meeting start. 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
2634 OK, let's put this damn Jane-O'Lantern proposal to a vote. 1.2358 0.04771 123 100 17 6
2635 Guess who is Donald 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2636 I want all of you to put on a happy face. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2637 I'm happy to announce that we've successfully fought off the hostile takeover bid from Peter Peter, Inc. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
2638 Now the culture warriors have accused our Board of lacking diversity. 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
2639 We have a traitor in our midst. One of you is not from the pumpkin patch. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
2640 Now kids, when the orphanage comes looking for 10 missing little boys, you tell them that you dont know what they’re talking about and that you’re playing a fun game with daddy. Got it? 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2641 I think we can all agree this is a gourd deal 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
2642 Let’s take a vote: pumpkin pie or apple pie. 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2643 Pumpkin values have steadily rising in October and I see no end in sight! 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
2644 Our Diversity and Inclusion initiative has been a complete failure, but I love what I'm seeing in this room! 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2645 As part of out cutbacks, we will be eliminating our Halloween party this year. 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
2646 Never forget, all of us began our uncarved life in a humble Halloween pumpkin patch. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2647 Sorry, your permanent frowns are an unacceptable corporate liability. 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2648 After halloween you'll be replaced with Santas. 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2649 Who wants to work on the canned campaign? 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2650 We're going to be promoting mince pie this Thanksgiving 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2651 Why all the sad faces, just because Jack lost his stem? 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
2652 Think long term. First we go after the Turkey and then we invade the North Pole. 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
2653 I'm happy to report that Holloween has been made a national holiday. 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
2654 I know most of you were hoping to work-from-doorstep this weekend but we’re going to need all gourds on deck 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
2655 Now I know inflation’s been tough but we’ve got to turn those frowns upside down. Look at me, I’m smilin’! Kevin…Cynthia…who’s with me? 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2656 Consumer have finally started to put the candle-cut in the bottom instead of the top - does anybody want the update installed on Thursday” 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
2657 I'd like to announce the merger of our company with our long time rival, the Headless Horseman. 1.2353 0.05182 68 52 16 0
2658 Our job today...To remind everyone, pumpkin spice isn't just a flavor, but a way of life!!! 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
2659 Alright, what is our plan to mitigate the squirrel problem this quarter? 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
2660 I'm proud to announce that we are going into the spice business. 1.2348 0.04283 132 105 23 4
2661 The Gourd of Directors is awarding all of the bonus money to me. 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
2662 I'm giving all of you off for Halloween. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2663 The economy is fine. It’s the firecrackers that worry me. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2664 This is happy news. So why do you guys look like you're ready to carve me up. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2665 This quarter has been a smashing success. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2666 So we're agreed. This year we're going to cream the mashed potatoes, burn the cornbread, and squeeze the cranberry sauce for all it's worth. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2667 Our stock just went up, it’s that season again! 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2668 One way or another we're going to get canned. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2669 And I don’t want to see any pie charts!” 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2670 Now that we've carved out our positions, we can proceed with the reorg. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2671 This year’s officeHalloween party will be great! Costumes, candy and a live band called….. Oh no. 1.2346 0.06400 81 68 7 6
2672 ..and that’s how we’re going to carve out a bright future for the company, by putting on a cheerful face to the world! 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2673 Much better. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2674 so how are we planning on dealing with the Christmas corps hostel takeover? I saw Christmas trees up in September! 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2675 Just when we think we are getting done wearing masks, BAM 1.2344 0.06585 64 52 9 3
2676 Cheer up! The Christmas committee is getting JINGLE BALLS! 1.2344 0.06585 64 52 9 3
2677 Okay team, we will not see each other after this month 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
2678 This is our season. Enough with the frowns already! 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
2679 We have about two weeks to implement our proposal before our heads start rotting. 1.2344 0.05783 64 50 13 1
2680 As part of our new inclusivity initiative, one of you will be replaced by a gourd. 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
2681 I called this gourd meeting to squash any rumors of jackal interns taking over your jobs. 1.2344 0.06585 64 52 9 3
2682 True, our marketability is transient, but in that glorious moment we bring COLOR to a gray world. 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
2683 The good heads are for closers 1.2344 0.06585 64 52 9 3
2684 Yes, I've had work done and I've never felt better. 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
2685 This one will make you laugh. 1.2344 0.05783 64 50 13 1
2686 Sorry you didn't get your candles, seniority rules and I got mine. 1.2344 0.05783 64 50 13 1
2687 So, I know you’ve all seen those hand mixer videos going viral lately… 1.2344 0.05783 64 50 13 1
2688 Burn out! Leaders don't burn out! 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
2689 I can see right through that smile. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
2690 We've been bought out. Heads are gonna roll. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
2691 … and target practice will be at 11.30 hrs 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
2692 Turn those frowns upside down, boys — the toothy grin’s back in! 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
2693 is being a pumpkin head a good thing? 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
2694 Once this merger is done, we are going to carve them up! 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2695 I call this meeting of the Sleepy Hollow Town Council to order 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
2696 I'm afraid that due to our recent drop in revenue, three of you will be made into pie. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2697 Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in Jack’s head. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2698 Gentlemen, the only thing this merger requires is guts! 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
2699 Lastly, who is in favor of not inviting Peter-Peter to this years Christmas party? 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2700 One day you can be me. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
2701 The value of this acquisition is already baked into the share spice. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2702 Gentlemen, marketing’s bold new campaign this year is ‘finding the light within’. 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
2703 And that concludes this month’s gourd meeting. 1.2333 0.06451 60 48 10 2
2704 We're going for a new company face this year, starting at the top. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2705 Gentlemen, ladies, the results are in. The people paint pumpkins now, the self mutilation stops today! 1.2333 0.06875 60 49 8 3
2706 My name is Jack, and I’m a pumpkin.” “Hello Jack! 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2707 It takes a bit of adjustment, but it beats spending 38 minutes watching that diversity and inclusion video. 1.2333 0.05997 60 47 12 1
2708 I’m glad you could all carve out some time to be here today. 1.2333 0.04754 90 70 19 1
2709 I’m sorry to report that we’re going to restructure this board. We need members with guts 1.2333 0.06875 60 49 8 3
2710 Gentlemen, in a week, you'll be on front steps across the nation. And that takes guts. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2711 That time of year again. HR is making a stink about diversity 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
2712 I know how we are going to turn those frowns upside down! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2713 Why do you all look so grumpy this morning? 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
2714 Apparently, our DEI efforts continue to struggle. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2715 I’d like to carve out meeting times with a few of you. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2716 Who does your teeth? 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
2717 Who likes a trick? Today isn't the Halloween party -- it's the company photo. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2718 Smashing ideas, simply smashing, Mr. President! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2719 Yeah, it's boring, but it's better than sitting out there on someone's stoop 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2720 Let's take a moment of silence for Dave who got made into a pumpkin spice latte last week. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
2721 First of all, I hope we all enjoyed getting lit last night. Secondly, one of us lost their stem. It may have been left on the front porch or just simply rotted away. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2722 Don't let my face fool you; our profits after November 1st look bleak. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
2723 Word is leaking that Elon Musk is interested in buying Halloween. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2724 Gentlemen, I humbly accept the position as Chairman of the Gourd 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2725 We need 3 of you for a pie, any volunteers? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2726 It’s important to start off this week with a clear head. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2727 Next on the agenda: Pies. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2728 It’s clear we need to focus on diversity” 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2729 The talking pumpkin heads gourd of directors meeting. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
2730 Let the Purge begin. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2731 Eyes 22. Nose 11. The motion to remove pumpkin pie from the table is passed. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
2732 As the boss of the pumpkin heads club, I propose we approach Halloween with a more violent view this year... 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2733 Gary, this comes straight from Accounting. No more Fall hayrides. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
2734 What’s the problem? I didn’t say it had to be a real candle 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2735 Sorry to squash the unanimous vote,but I am the gourd all mighty around here 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2736 Remember Jacks, they may gut us, carve out our teeth, and cut out our eyes, but that’s when we really shine! 1.2326 0.06117 86 72 8 6
2737 I'm not a pumpkin, you're a pumpkin. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2738 someone get Spiced Latte on the phone 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
2739 Thank you for attending this gourd of directors meeting 1.2323 0.05339 99 81 13 5
2740 Well, it's that time of the year when we have good and bad news.... 1.2321 0.06738 56 45 9 2
2741 We should carve out some time to discuss this. 1.2321 0.06738 56 45 9 2
2742 You know the story: we're immensely popular once a year for less than a week. So let's make the most of it! 1.2321 0.06237 56 44 11 1
2743 Isn't it time our Board included some women and pumpkins of other colors? 1.2321 0.06738 56 45 9 2
2744 Rumors of a potential takeover have been squashed 1.2321 0.06738 56 45 9 2
2745 You were all individually picked to be here. So let’s turn those frowns to smiles, boys. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
2746 I'm sorry to report that sales are down and Halloween will no longer be considered a company holiday." 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
2747 No sir, I’m Jack O’Malley. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
2748 For our next presentation I’d like you to turn your frowns upside-down. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
2749 Jack, may I call you Jack? 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
2750 Bad news. They outlawed every word that doesn't rhyme with anything. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
2751 Okay, Halloween is just around the corner. Who'd liked to be in charge of the face paint station for the party? 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
2752 We need fresh ideas this week, any later and it’ll feel moldy. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
2753 The board has decided to make some cuts. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
2754 Why does he always get to sit at the head of the table? 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
2755 If we don’t squash the competition your paycheques will be carved 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
2756 I see some of you aren’t smiling. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
2757 Did I just say, "Carve out some time for spice in your life"? 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
2758 They say we need diversity on our board but the other sqashes aren't bright enough 1.2317 0.06086 82 68 9 5
2759 Now I'll ask Jack to start the meeting... 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
2760 Why is it eery time I mention a pie chart you all get spooked… 1.2317 0.04688 82 63 19 0
2761 And because it's Halloween, it's not safe for your kids to go trick or treating. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
2762 Who wants to volunteer for pie-making? 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2763 It's been great working with you all, but it's time to get ready for harvesting... 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2764 You're all a bunch of pumpkin heads. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
2765 Pumpkin spice has been saving our squashes, since the Great Smash of 1929. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
2766 #pumptheking 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
2767 I'm happy to announce that we are being acquired by Christmas Tree Inc. and they'll be offering a generous severance package. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
2768 I have called this meeting to discuss the pricing of pumpkin spice lattes, again. 1.2308 0.06508 52 41 10 1
2769 We need an illuminating idea. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
2770 So, you are not happy with our seasonal campaign?? 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
2771 We're carving certain employees out of the picture as a result of the O'lantern merger. 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
2772 You're probably wondering why I asked you to this demeanor meeting. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
2773 This year's bonuses will be paid in raisins and apples. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
2774 I'm told we need to rethink the way we carve our mouths. 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
2775 Good news, gentlemen: you're looking at the new Chairman of the Gourd... 1.2308 0.07195 65 55 5 5
2776 The good news is this year's crop exceeds expectations. The bad news is that sales of carving knives have peaked. 1.2308 0.07063 52 42 8 2
2777 Wicks are up this year! 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
2778 Has anyone solved the pi equation yet? 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
2779 In order to diversify the board, five of you will be replaced by acorn, buttercup, butternut, hubbard and spaghetti squash. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
2780 Come November, heads will roll. 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
2781 Who would like to chair the Diversity committee? 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
2782 Corporate PR priority is to combat accusations of board nepotism and lack of diversity. 1.2308 0.06508 52 41 10 1
2783 We are downsizing. Heads will roll. 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
2784 You’ll be thrilled to know I’ve entered all of you in the trebuchet contest. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
2785 Why the carved faces? 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
2786 I've hired a new consulting firm, Peter Peter Pumpkin-eater, LL 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
2787 And now, gentlepumps, it is time to select a new Chairman of the Gourd 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
2788 I want us to have a smashing quarter. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
2789 You all are out of your gourd. 1.2308 0.05267 65 50 15 0
2790 Welcome to the yearly gourdroom fellas 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
2791 I’m afraid Jenkins won’t be joining us. I was told was quite smashed last night. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
2792 Enjoy things now, because in a few weeks you're not going to recognize yourself 1.2308 0.06560 78 66 6 6
2793 Alright, which one of you is Jack? 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
2794 After this season, we’re moving to a subscription model. 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
2795 Another bunch of pumpkin heads! 1.2308 0.06853 65 54 7 4
2796 We may all look the same but I disagree 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
2797 Now that all the department heads are here… 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
2798 The returning popularity of Smashing Pumpkins is rather concerning for our quarterly report 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
2799 I think we can all agree, he’s a true tuber-mensch of a fellow 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
2800 We are all in this together 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
2801 The salesman with the worst record this quarter will be volunteered as soup for the Christmas party. 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
2802 all of these ideas are rotten 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2803 This year, we expect to totally squash the competition. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2804 Good lord, those are some of worst ideas I've ever heard. Is there anything going on inside those heads? 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2805 We are cutting staff and half of you will downsized to pies. 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
2806 Our company should have a bigger piece of the pie. 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
2807 If you keep sitting there like a bunch of pumpkin heads -heads are going to roll! 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
2808 I'm happy to report that last trimester was quite scary. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
2809 This next fiscal quarter is projected to be a spooky one 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
2810 Sorry to say gentlemen, Jack-O-Lanterns are out and Pumpkin lattes are the latest. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
2811 Let’s talk about the skeleton in the room…. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
2812 From tomorrow, free salad at lunch for everyone! 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
2813 Thank you for your service on this board of directors. We will be ceasing operations,however,on November 1st. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
2814 It might make more sense when you see it as a pie chart. 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
2815 No News Is Gourd News, We've Got About A Week Left Though 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
2816 We are gathered here together..................... 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
2817 Gentlemen, we here at Sleepy Hollow, Inc. intend to stay current with the zeitgeist, so welcome to our new scare campaign -- 'the Headless Uber Driver.' 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
2818 Gentlemen, this month Ichobad Inc.is finally getting ahead. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
2819 I have good news, only three of you are getting axed. 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
2820 These autumn workshops always leave me with a clear head. 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
2821 ♫ Our day will come ♫ - on Monday! 1.2295 0.05429 61 47 14 0
2822 I see we are all of one mind. 1.2295 0.05911 61 48 12 1
2823 Now, let's talk about how we'll squash the competition. 1.2295 0.06356 61 49 10 2
2824 Let's show them - us pumpkin heads can solve serious problems. 1.2295 0.05911 61 48 12 1
2825 If we put our heads together we can squash the competition. 1.2295 0.05429 61 47 14 0
2826 Why do I get the feeling that the Gourd Board is bored? 1.2295 0.07165 61 51 6 4
2827 We the illuminati need new ideas. I want everything in your head out and on the table. Now is our time to shine! 1.2295 0.05429 61 47 14 0
2828 We’re going to need to carve out some time for this over the weekend. 1.2295 0.07536 61 52 4 5
2829 I know heads will roll, but we have decided to restructure. 1.2295 0.05429 61 47 14 0
2830 ‘Keep smiling’ is simply not an option. 1.2295 0.05911 61 48 12 1
2831 The motion to go fragrance-free carries because we're sick of pumpkin spice too. 1.2295 0.06772 61 50 8 3
2832 I see this activity did nothing to boost our creativity or diversity of thought. Which one of you pumpkin heads has a more inventive idea for next month? Or, do I have to hire a woman to get this done? 1.2295 0.05911 61 48 12 1
2833 As per protocol, I expect all of your resignation letters on my front porch by no later than November 7th. 1.2295 0.06772 61 50 8 3
2834 I think it’s time for us to do some corporate facial restructuring 1.2295 0.05911 61 48 12 1
2835 Let's welcome Jack #11, our newest member of the Gourd of Directors 1.2294 0.05316 109 91 11 7
2836 I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m lit! 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
2837 Guys our stock has been skyrocketing all month. I have a good feeling about November 1.2289 0.06018 83 69 9 5
2838 And they say we need more diversity! 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
2839 See what I mean Jamal, we don't see color... Only Orange... Cos it's the new black 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
2840 Due to budget cuts, your heads won’t last past October 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
2841 All those in foavor of Jill O'Lantern joining the board say "boo" . 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
2842 At least we now know what a carve-out divestiture really means. 1.2286 0.05449 70 55 14 1
2843 I have an idea you will love to get us through all of this... 1.2286 0.06490 70 58 8 4
2844 Hey, I was carved this way... 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
2845 I’m pleased to announce that Smashing Pumpkins will be headlining our upcoming summer picnic! 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
2846 Most of you are new....and still a little orange. 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
2847 I say we screw Halloween and go get smashed! 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
2848 Alright everyone, what’s the next great thing that we can seed. 1.2286 0.05055 70 54 16 0
2849 I move that we vote now while our heads are clear. 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
2850 Good! I see everyone got the memo. 1.2286 0.06490 70 58 8 4
2851 That's right, I took your candles 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
2852 What do you say? After this we all get smashed? 1.2286 0.06490 70 58 8 4
2853 C'mon, can't you all just smile? 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
2854 ...and with this takeover we can finally eliminate Spice. 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
2855 I can see we've all made the necessary cuts. 1.2286 0.05055 70 54 16 0
2856 I've decided to retire before we all start to rot. 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
2857 If I only had champagne 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
2858 Gentlemen, our bachelorette only has nine candles. Tonight, one of you will be leaving the doorstep forever 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
2859 A little spice to stir things up? Smashing! 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
2860 You’d have to be a Board of Pumpkin Heads to ignore climate change 🎃 1.2286 0.06801 70 59 6 5
2861 Yes, gentlemen, it's true I have accepted a buyout offer from Elon Muskmelon. 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
2862 So management has decided merging this company with headless horseman inc. will definitely boost production 1.2286 0.05449 70 55 14 1
2863 Do you all have the same “carver?” I detect a similarity. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
2864 It has come to our attention that Disney is launching a different vegetable next year to represent Halloween. 1.2281 0.07088 57 47 7 3
2865 I won’t sugarcoat this, come November 1st, not all of you will remain on this ‘gourd’. Squirrels are nasty buggers… 1.2281 0.06631 57 46 9 2
2866 Next year, gentlemen, a new corporate designer will show us how to turn those frowns upside down. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2867 OK. I see one of us didn't put on his thinking cap this morning. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2868 Welcome to our 2022 Seasonal Gourd Meeting 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2869 I bought pumpkin Facebook 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2870 Winning at the state fair comes with a promotion 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2871 What do you mean you are afraid to see the pie chart? 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2872 It turns out we aren't even in good in soup. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2873 And now that I own Twitter, most of you will be put into our pie division. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2874 ...and they all said I was outta my damn gourd, but who's laughing now boys. We're gonna carve up this Halloween thing till there's nothing left. 1.2278 0.04749 79 61 18 0
2875 I'm happy to announce we will be entertained by Smashing Pumpkins at our annual picnic. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
2876 I'm concerned we lack diversity. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
2877 Right, we’re gonna have to make some cuts… 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
2878 Why all the frowns? This is our best time of year. 1.2273 0.04775 88 69 18 1
2879 Jack, you’re out of your gourd if you think I’m going to put you in charge of this project. I want Jack, Jack and you Jack to be in charge, and Jack you back them up with some good research and Jack I want you to be liaison to the head office. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
2880 Anybody got a light? 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
2881 Due to COVID cutbacks, three of you are transferred to pie, three to soup, three to bread and the last one has to provide his own candle. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
2882 This is what happens when our meeting goes on past midnite! 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
2883 We survived October, but the holiday season is no time to let down our gourd 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
2884 I get to play the Headless Horseman this year! 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
2885 The last board members were a bunch of knuckleheads. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
2886 Are you sure outlawing pumpkin soup is the answer? 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
2887 Come on! Time to bring out the best in you ! 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
2888 You expect me to believe that ALL of your cut yourselves while shaving? 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
2889 Starting in the new fiscal year, you will all be expected to supply your own candles. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
2890 Listen I didn’t just fall the cabbage truck. 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
2891 The good news is no layoffs. The bad news, we're making pie. 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
2892 Thank you all for carving some time out of your busy schedules. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
2893 You all made it through scary times but management plans to compost. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
2894 Let’s put our heads together and make a pie. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
2895 We're hollowing out the company, but don't let it go to your head. 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
2896 The annual meeting of The Bored Gourds is now called to order. 1.2273 0.05198 66 51 15 0
2897 We said we wanted a bigger piece of the pie, not that we wanted to be the pie! 1.2273 0.07094 66 56 5 5
2898 We’ve been laid off, but cheer up--Sara Lee’s is hiring, no experience required. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
2899 Do I have to light a fire under you to get a reaction? 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
2900 So good to be off Teams and to see your stupid pumpkin heads in person. Ned, you’re fired. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
2901 hollow heads meeting 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
2902 I called this meeting to try and reignite that flame inside you 1.2273 0.04775 88 69 18 1
2903 Next months turkey headdresses have been hit by supply chain disruptions so it looks likes we’ll be in these jack o lantern heads for the foreseeable future 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
2904 Good job not losing your heads in the merger, team 1.2273 0.05198 66 51 15 0
2905 ‘Our market is smashed. The patch has dried up. The news came down the vine this morning; we are cutting the candle budget’. 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
2906 everyone get a carving knife and let’s turn those frowns upside down! 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
2907 Ownership says closure will be quick and 'easy as pie.' 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2908 I’m sure you’re wondering why I called this meeting. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
2909 Can we please thing beyond month-end? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
2910 Good. I see you all got my memo! 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
2911 Can you all just lighten up? 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
2912 If we order pumpkin lattés, does that make us cannibals? 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
2913 Next time, don’t ask for the bad news first.” 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
2914 Now let’s go out there and ring some bells” 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
2915 Think of this as massive job carves. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
2916 I'm afraid I misspoke - you will not GET a piece of the pie... 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
2917 Obviously, I’m the only optimist here 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
2918 Who else has something spicy to discuss? 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
2919 If they find out where the spice comes from we’ll need someone to take the fall. 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
2920 I’ve reviewed quarterly performance. You’ve all done smashingly 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
2921 So what do y’all think of the band Smashing Pumpkins? 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
2922 How can we increase sales outside of October? 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
2923 Effective immediately, I am retiring as CEO of the gourd of directors. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
2924 I'm sorry to break the news for you, guys, but we are going to have to work late on Halloween this year too. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
2925 And so we now end the Fall meeting of the Starbucks corporation’s board of directors. 1.2264 0.06398 53 42 10 1
2926 We are all going to have to carve out more time for our clients. 1.2264 0.06942 53 43 8 2
2927 The music will be provided by Smashing Pumpkins. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
2928 Who wants to go to Sleepy Hallow? 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
2929 I doubt our company will make it to Thanksgiving. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
2930 Not everyone is cut out to be an confident leader. 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
2931 This company needs a new face. Johnson, why don't you pass me yours? 1.2262 0.05952 84 70 9 5
2932 If we accept their tender offer they'll carve us up like....wait, poor choice of words... 1.2262 0.05952 84 70 9 5
2933 I just need a volunteer to make our October pie chart. 1.2258 0.06264 62 50 10 2
2934 After extensive research we’ve landed on a new marketing slogan: “As American as Apple Pie.” 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2935 The results of our company survey have come in and on top of the list of employees concerns is, surprisingly, conformity 1.2258 0.06264 62 50 10 2
2936 Congratulations, Gentlemen. We smashed the competition 1.2258 0.05826 62 49 12 1
2937 Now that we are finished discussing CEO compensation... 1.2258 0.06673 62 51 8 3
2938 So we agree - treats for us and tricks for them! 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2939 As the Chairman of the Gourd.... 1.2258 0.05826 62 49 12 1
2940 We will let our orange friend tweet again!! 1.2258 0.05353 62 48 14 0
2941 And then, for no reason, we'll take the spice away! 1.2258 0.06264 62 50 10 2
2942 Hey, no frowns at Elon Musk Jack O'Lanterns, Inc.! 1.2258 0.06264 62 50 10 2
2943 We're going non-GMO, your all out. 1.2258 0.06264 62 50 10 2
2944 Thanks for carving out time for what could have been an e-mail. 1.2258 0.05826 62 49 12 1
2945 Gentlemen, it’s time we patch things up. 1.2258 0.05353 62 48 14 0
2946 Does my voice sound weird in this? 1.2258 0.06264 62 50 10 2
2947 Why aren’t you all smiling? 1.2258 0.07058 62 52 6 4
2948 Aw c'mon, it'll be fun...... 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
2949 Trick of Treat! You’re all fired. I get a raise. 1.2254 0.06406 71 59 8 4
2950 … And remember, if you let your gourd down, you’ll be squashed. 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
2951 Due to candy supply delays, there will be no Halloween bonuses this year. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
2952 See! Isn't this much better when we're not on Zoom? 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
2953 The bad news is that it's pumpkin spice season again. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
2954 I’m your lawyer and I’m telling you, no one calls them “pumpkin” anymore. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
2955 I’m glad to announce that our corporate retreat will take place in Sleepy Hollow. 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
2956 Things got scary at the gourd meeting. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
2957 OK, we got them to sell pumpkin spice motor oil. Anything else? 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
2958 The new guy goes by John. 1.2254 0.06406 71 59 8 4
2959 Any way you slice it, we’re doomed. 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
2960 When you say our shareholders are spooked…is that good or bad? 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
2961 Let's put on a happy face, shall we? 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
2962 The bad news is that someone will have to lose their head over this. 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
2963 Fire me? You don't have the guts. 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
2964 Are we making any headway 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
2965 So, hear me out on this one: We’d look scarier on the porches without the arms and legs. 1.2254 0.06406 71 59 8 4
2966 I’ve gathered you all here today to discuss a very important question: is drinking a pumpkin spice latte actually cannibalism? Please discuss. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
2967 Any new ideas for emojis? 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
2968 So its time to cut a hole in your head, ream it out, and shove fire inside. Yay, it's our season! 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
2969 I’m sorry, but the ghosts are getting the bonuses this year 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
2970 Allright then, all those in favor of holding Halloween via teleconference this year, say aye. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
2971 And lastly, you will all be working this weekend! 1.2250 0.06408 80 68 6 6
2972 Why the orange faces? 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
2973 These new face masks are going one step too far. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
2974 Meet the new twitter heads,formerly known as the pumpkin heads 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
2975 As part of our restructuring, I'm eliminating the positions of everyone named Jack. 1.2250 0.06156 80 67 8 5
2976 I’ve booked Billy Corgan for this year’s executive retreat. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
2977 Now, hear me out: Pumpkin Spice Sriracha! 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
2978 by this time next month this board will be dissolved 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
2979 Carving out time in our monthly meeting to discuss employee face-paint options" didn't go as planned 1.2250 0.06156 80 67 8 5
2980 . "Has anyone seen Peter Duncan?" 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
2981 Must we cover this every year? No, you cannot take this week off. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
2982 Annual squashholders meeting. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
2983 Now onto the Billy Corgan situation, thoughts? 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2984 The final quarter will be scary for most of us. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2985 Extrapolating from our October trend, nothing can stop us this year. 1.2241 0.06976 58 48 7 3
2986 Let me tell you how I changed that look to this one. 1.2241 0.05523 58 45 13 0
2987 Midtown Pumpkin Spice Lovers Anonymous meeting 1.2241 0.06976 58 48 7 3
2988 I don’t want to squash your hopes for a successful quarter, but… 1.2241 0.05523 58 45 13 0
2989 Congrats,guys,pumpkin spice has made it into everything in the entire world! $$$ 1.2239 0.05554 67 53 13 1
2990 So we have ten cappuccinos and one pumpkin-spice latte. Am I missing anything? 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
2991 The shareholders are calling for your heads. By this time next month, you'll all be useless to them. 1.2239 0.06665 67 56 7 4
2992 No worries, the turkey heads will be ready by November 1st. 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
2993 I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m smiling… 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
2994 Just days until we're all squirrel food. 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
2995 Johnson, I've decided to send you back to the patch. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
2996 We can’t have an efficient meeting if we all insist on being called Jack. 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
2997 Well it's that time of year again when we flood the airwaves with pecan pie ads Work like your life depends on it. Some of you may not be coming back next season. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
2998 We hereby change our fast food chain name to Jack in the Lantern 1.2239 0.05554 67 53 13 1
2999 We'll begin this meeting by taking roll. Jack? 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
3000 It has been brought to my attention that there is concern about our lack of diversity. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
3001 Due to increased demand, corporate is requesting your immediate relocation to the porch 1.2239 0.05554 67 53 13 1
3002 Paul-o’-lantern, did you have anything to add to what Mike-o’-lantern said? 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
3003 Unfortunately, the day before Halloween will not be a remote day for any of you, so do be careful getting home at night. 1.2239 0.05554 67 53 13 1
3004 Please excuse the smile, I don’t know what I was thinking 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
3005 Come on, not one gourd idea? We’re being absolutely squashed by the competition! 1.2239 0.05554 67 53 13 1
3006 No, it's not me wearing the pumpkin spice cologne. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
3007 I know it’s early, but I suggest you all start practicing for Easter. Those eggs aren’t gonna lay themselves. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
3008 I am sorry to say that on November 1st, we will dissolve the corporation. 1.2237 0.06379 76 64 7 5
3009 keep your heads on straight 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
3010 And your BONUS is free candles for everyone! 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
3011 Thanks for carving out time for this meeting. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
3012 So,what does Diversity,Equity and Inclusion mean to you? 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
3013 All right, we must make a decision quickly before our heads rot off 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
3014 So this is growing the pie. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
3015 It has come to my attention that some of you are not in favor of our required seasonal headwear.... 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
3016 Just to let you know, some of you may be squashed. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
3017 Thanks for carving out the time, but this could have been an email. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
3018 At last our corporations are HEADED in the right direction! 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
3019 Tense moments in the gourd-room 1.2237 0.06379 76 64 7 5
3020 No more seedy jokes 1.2237 0.04812 76 59 17 0
3021 I really miss the days when we didn’t have to worry about cultural appropriation and could just pick our own costumes. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
3022 It looks like we got gutted this quarter, but we’ve got an opportunity to scare the competition. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
3023 Gentlemen, I’m happy to inform you that instead of the usual Sept 30, our retail merchandise displays will be in stores on July 5th this year. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
3024 We've just concluded a merger with Mrs. Smiths Frozen Pies. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
3025 I'm the only one here cut out to present our quarterly earnings with a smile. 1.2237 0.06379 76 64 7 5
3026 They can’t know there is no pumpkin in the pumpkin spice latte 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
3027 We’ve decided to bring in a headhunter to help fill the position. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
3028 Good, I see everyone got the right template. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
3029 I've decided to bring in someone to act as the new face of the company 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
3030 Hope you’re all as fired up as I am. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
3031 Do I have to sleep with pumpkin to get a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit? #loveactually 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
3032 Good morning everyone and welcome to this year’s annual gourd meeting… 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
3033 Am I to believe that no one here knows Jack? 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
3034 Is it just me, or did we all have our brains pulled out at the RNC Ball last night? 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
3035 OK you pumpkin heads, Light My Fire! 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
3036 Yes, we are indeed facing a frightening situation this month, but we mustn't lose our heads 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
3037 And that was when a light went off in my head... 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
3038 Our earnings were squashed. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3039 Who wants to volunteer for pie? 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3040 As the CPO I have decided that since we have so many Jacks I would like to be called Mr. O'Lantern from this point forward. That still leaves "The Great Pumpkin" so I'd jump at that right away. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3041 Now I wish I’d read this earnings report before I carved this face. 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
3042 Anyone else here think I’ve got a Gourd Complex? 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3043 We need more diversity in our management team 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
3044 And with that, this Diversity Committee meeting is hereby adjourned. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
3045 We really need to think outside the gourd this quarter 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
3046 It's our company's profitable sideline -- can not one of you manage a smile for essence of pumpkin spice cologne? 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
3047 The Bored Gourd Board's annual meeting where the chairman gleefully announces this year's holiday entertainment: The Smashing Pumpkins 1.2222 0.04934 72 56 16 0
3048 Anyone ideas how we get our heads back? 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3049 OK, so who's got the best 'then-a-genie-gave-me-three-wishes' story? 1.2222 0.05744 63 50 12 1
3050 I see that everyone here carved out time for the board meeting. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
3051 I thought we would spice things up a bit. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
3052 Yes --- we only have a month left. 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
3053 We need some diversity on this board! A missing stem does not hack it. 1.2222 0.05744 63 50 12 1
3054 You heard correctly. All month. We'll switch to turkey heads November 1. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
3055 I think we are all sick of being carved. I say we tell people to carve a grain of rice. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
3056 Why am I the only one whose happy about this? 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
3057 The Apprentice 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3058 Hey, you guys, lighten up! 1.2222 0.06293 54 43 10 1
3059 Why all the frightened faces; earnings are up? 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
3060 Our new diversity policy begins November 1st. 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
3061 Our customers say we are not listening to them. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
3062 Yes, the shareholders really do want pie. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
3063 How's our DEI policy coming along? 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
3064 Jack, would you mind illuminating the rest of us? 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
3065 Good news I am squashing your fears, this year's favorite pie is apple raisin. 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
3066 I see a lot of new faces at this meeting. 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
3067 I’m pleased to report we’ve surpassed our diversity targets! 1.2222 0.05744 63 50 12 1
3068 Yes it’s gut wrenching, but we have to carve out a niche for ourselves 1.2222 0.05744 63 50 12 1
3069 We still need a pie for our Thanksgiving charity basket. Volunteer? 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
3070 Gentlemen, the line to the executive men's room starts over there, and, remember, the public must never know where pumpkin spice latte comes from. 1.2222 0.06626 72 61 6 5
3071 The good news is the third quarter earnings are through the roof- the bad news is you guys have wait until next year to fix your frowns 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
3072 - Are you pumpkin 🎃 what I’m 🎃? 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
3073 They said we need some diversity. 1.2222 0.05711 54 42 12 0
3074 Mr Musk are you also going to choose everybody’s costume next year? 1.2222 0.05478 99 83 10 6
3075 Trump’s back in office 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
3076 For some of you, this upcoming quarter looks like it will be a smashing success! 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3077 I’m sorry to say some of you won’t be around here much longer. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
3078 So this year let’s push squash to the masses 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
3079 pumpkins? for halloween? Groundbreaking. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
3080 Jack, why don’t you walk us through the Q4 projections and our annual squirrel impact report. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
3081 No bagels today, sorry folks. 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
3082 An excellent idea Mr O’Lantern. Will anyone second the motion? 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
3083 All in favor of scrapping our diversity program please raise your hand 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3084 Gentlemen, we are now beginning our very first brainstorming session... 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3085 As part of our employee recognition program, I am happy to announce that you will be attending the 'Smashing Pumpkins' concert tonight. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3086 As Chairman of the Gourd, I’m asking you all to carve out some seed money for next years crop….. 1.2208 0.04758 77 60 17 0
3087 Because I'm the great pumpkin. 1.2208 0.06303 77 65 7 5
3088 It's that time of year when I want to see candles in your head. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3089 Pass the knives, please 1.2208 0.04758 77 60 17 0
3090 OK, hear me out: Human Spiced Lattes... but *only* for the Holidays. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3091 Where's the headless guy? 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3092 Much to our surprise, members of the board, it looks like Professor Zitzmeyster's experiment is a success. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3093 COME ON , BOYS - IT'S ALMOST OVER!! 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3094 So, is smiley the new spooky ? 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3095 Well I disagree Bob, we've had 11 straight months of growth, why should October be any different? 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3096 The good news - pumpkin seed sales are up. The bad news - pumpkin heads decompose in a week! 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3097 Wasn’t this fun guys? Next week I want everyone to come in with just one eyebrow. It’ll be great, trust me, there’s a reason I’m head of team-building. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3098 I'm happy to report that, because of strong earnings, only one of you will be smashed this year. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3099 Well, gentlemen, if there's no more new business, I propose we go get smashed. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3100 Corporate has decided that you must all be in the office again. No more working from your patch. 1.2206 0.06574 68 57 7 4
3101 I sense dissatisfaction with the latest management authorized carve-outs. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3102 Why the sad faces? Did they cancel Halloween? 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3103 It's been brought to my attention that the board might benefit from some diversity training. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3104 Okay, let's roll out the cut out plan. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3105 Bad news is we're in the orange. Good news is we can write-off our yearly sperm bank donations. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3106 We've got til EOD on the 31st to get this right or heads are going to roll! 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3107 Johnson's division is down 3% so I'm going to stick a candle in him, put him on the porch, and let the delinquent kids next door take it from there. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3108 Why the wide faces? 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3109 I need one more board member to take the stage for the annual company pumpkin carving contest. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3110 The latest quarterly report looks just smashing! 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3111 Look. You can get your smile back with a little Botox. Trust me. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3112 How can we expand pumpkin pie's likeability in non-fall seasons? 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3113 All ideas will be squashed! 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3114 Let's face it, in this organization each one of you will need to carve out your own role. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3115 Rupret!! I knew you weren't listening!!?? You're supposed to hollow it out first!! 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3116 I'm carving out a new policy. Next week pumpkins will be optional. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3117 I need two volunteers to help make pie on Thursday! 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3118 Twitter Headquarters 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3119 I just feel like our ideals have become …. Hollow 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3120 We have a latte to discuss today. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3121 Has anyone here ever considered the possibility that we have exchanged our minds for our asses? 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3122 In order to maximize profits for our shareholders, I'm implementing a mandatory graveyard shift. 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3123 Let’s not lose our heads here, folks. 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3124 Good news, they're cutting from the bottom this year. That's the end opposite the stem. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3125 Everyone, please welcome Gourdon to the team ! 1.2206 0.06574 68 57 7 4
3126 Unfortunately, the Halloween specific dress code did not have the desired effect on office morale. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3127 Maybe if we grow hair they’ll leave us alone… 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3128 We are trying to scrape up funds for butternut squash this year — unfortunately we’ll be gutting the pumpkin program. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3129 We need to close this deal or heads will roll. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3130 Gentlemen, I'm afraid the next musical act we will represent is the Smashing Pumpkins. 1.2203 0.05955 59 47 11 1
3131 Don’t look so glum. Your heads will make delicious pies. 1.2203 0.05442 59 46 13 0
3132 How could they call us pumpkin heads? We are so much better than that. 1.2203 0.05955 59 47 11 1
3133 We are way ahead of the competition. 1.2203 0.05442 59 46 13 0
3134 So Day 1 of my business plan was the "let that sink in" gag, and Day 2 is this "let that pumpk in" bit – I see everyone got their pumpkin. And that's the extent of thought I put into running Twitter. Who wants to go next? 1.2203 0.06427 59 48 9 2
3135 It's a real treat to have you all here! 1.2203 0.05955 59 47 11 1
3136 To get our share of the pie,I want your heads in the game! 1.2203 0.05955 59 47 11 1
3137 It's 5 o'clock. Let's say we all go out and get smashed! 1.2203 0.05955 59 47 11 1
3138 Sure, the visibility is not great, but they’re much more festive than K95s 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
3139 Thank you all for contributing to this morning's coffee. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
3140 I happen to know there’s nothing in those big round heads so let’s just forgo voting. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
3141 Peter was arrested last night for allegedly killing his wife. A warrant has been issued to seize all pumpkin shells on the premises. 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
3142 The good new is quarterly earnings are up. The bad news is we'll all be rotten in a week. 1.2195 0.04599 82 64 18 0
3143 In the spirit of inclusion we will now be known as “Jack or Jackie” O’lantern. 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
3144 And remember, you gotta have a winning smile to succeed in this business. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
3145 Finally, we have to pick this years' spooksperson. 1.2195 0.04916 82 65 16 1
3146 never say never. 1.2195 0.06017 82 69 8 5
3147 I am happy to announce the smile consultant will join us in 20 minutes. 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
3148 You should see what they’re making us wear for thanksgiving 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
3149 All in favor, raise your stems. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
3150 As the new owner, I’ve decided to cut the employee base by 78% after Halloween. 1.2195 0.04916 82 65 16 1
3151 We all know big candy has the market carved out in October, so it’s time for us pumpkins to take back November. How do we feel about pies? 1.2195 0.04916 82 65 16 1
3152 To diversify our board I'm bringing in somebody whose name isn't Jack. 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
3153 Gentlemen, light your wicks. 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
3154 Expect that by the middle of the fourth quarter, heads will roll. 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
3155 I need volunteers: Carving or soup? 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
3156 Don't look so glumfellas you're not pie pumpkins! 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
3157 Does anyone know the words to…You light up my life? 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
3158 It's midnight; let's reconvene tomorrow. 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
3159 Gentlemen, Smashing Pumpkins hasn't had a hit in 20 years. I say we don't renew the contract and let them go. 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
3160 Rest easy it is November 1. You will be safe for another year. 1.2192 0.04875 73 57 16 0
3161 Gentlemen, it's time I come clean...My name is actually Jeff. 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
3162 It was a good quarter, but I'm dumping you all before Thanksgiving.. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
3163 I make a motion that we start an 'Apple-pie-for-Thanksgiving' campaign. 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
3164 Once again we are faced with a hostile takeover by Mr. Potato Head 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
3165 These are scary times. Our outlook is improving. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
3166 The Board voted it down last night, I know you're gutted. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
3167 We need to scare up sales. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
3168 I am very happy to report to you that the "pumpkin spice" line is being retired. 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
3169 So there's a new head 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
3170 Well, perhaps will can call her a Jill-O'Lantern 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
3171 Thank you for carving out the time… 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
3172 A group of pumpkins deciding the reproductive rights of squash 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
3173 Admittedly, naming all of you Jack was one of my more Ichabod moments. 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
3174 Team with the weakest numbers is soup 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
3175 I’ve ordered pumpkin spice lattes for the office! 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
3176 I assure you I am not enjoying this decision to lay off employees. My face just looks like this 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
3177 Getting our flavor in everything is the first step to taking over the world. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
3178 We All need to put on a happy face 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
3179 Can we go home now? 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
3180 We need to carve out a more positive attitude. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
3181 Our shareholders are beginning to doubt whether you have any guts. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
3182 I know you all want to emmulate me but I'm the greatest orange pumpkin around here. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
3183 Thank you Jack, but I think Jack’s was better than Jack’s, with Jack’s a close second. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
3184 And the leader of the patch is,..? 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
3185 I am picking up that you are not with me on this. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
3186 Mother Goose urges us to rethink, 'put her in a pumpkin shell.' 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
3187 I’ve decided o accept Mr.Peter Peter Pumpkin Eaters generous offer to purchase a large portion of the company’s stock 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
3188 Gourd Think 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
3189 Alright everyone, it’s that time of the year again 1.2188 0.05208 64 50 14 0
3190 Gentlemen, turn those frowns upside down! 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
3191 Just another board of directors with nothing in their heads 1.2188 0.05208 64 50 14 0
3192 The reports are in boys, and the company is squash 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
3193 You'd be happier if you hired my pumpkin carver. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
3194 Just how long will we permit society to refer to us as Pumkin Head? 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
3195 todays meeting was horrifying 1.2182 0.06191 55 44 10 1
3196 I apologize, gentlemen. You do know Jack. 1.2182 0.07197 55 46 6 3
3197 Let's face it, we're getting squashed on the diversity issue. 1.2182 0.06712 55 45 8 2
3198 Any more bright ideas? Or have all your candles gone out? 1.2182 0.06191 55 44 10 1
3199 Let’s face it, with global warming & current climate conditions, none of us are going to make it to the 31st intact. 1.2182 0.06191 55 44 10 1
3200 Poppycock to each of you! Steve, as the CEO, Chief Carvings Official, I'm going to need you to get me the Jack Knife. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
3201 The Board’s goal is to become not just a success, but a smashing success. 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
3202 We need to patch up differences! 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
3203 Ugh, his annual Halloween "Team Building" exercise. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
3204 Just once, I'd like to have a team who doesn't act like their heads are full of mush. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
3205 Doesn’t anyone here have a light? 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
3206 Look, I'm Jack O'Lantern, and that's it. You're just going to have to get used to Fred O'Lantern, Bill O'Lamtern, Joe O'Lantern ... 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
3207 There is no easy way to say this, but our new board member is Acorn Squash. 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
3208 The good news: The merger is complete. The bad news: the buyer is SQRL. 1.2179 0.04705 78 61 17 0
3209 The next presentation will be by Jack... 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
3210 Let's not lose our gourds, it's just a little rough patch. 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
3211 Anyone for pumpkin pie? 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
3212 I see someone turned his frown upside down. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
3213 Happy Halloween 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
3214 On a positive note, our latest quarterly results have spooked the market. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
3215 Since our customers are housewives, we need a slogan implying that pumpkin seeds make husbands virile, middle-age women beautiful and children smart and obedient. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
3216 There's a shortage on pumpkin butter. They are calling for my head. 1.2179 0.04705 78 61 17 0
3217 And I don’t need to tell you it’s been a rough patch. 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
3218 We all know it doesn’t taste like pumpkin, but the free PR is still good for the brand. 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
3219 I called this meeting so we can put our heads together and carve out some ideas ! 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
3220 Ok guys…halloween. Perhaps this year, something a little less narcissistic…? 1.2174 0.06807 69 59 5 5
3221 Look, just because we’re hit a bad patch doesn’t mean we can’t have a great night. 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
3222 Now with the triumph of pumpkin spice we are well on our way to world domination. 1.2174 0.06486 69 58 7 4
3223 Why the long faces, don't you like pumpkin pie ? 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3224 She lights a candle every night and gets hot wax all over me I’m like damn shawty okay! 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
3225 bro tf was in that pfizer booster 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3226 I am happy to report sliced fingers are up 17% 1.2174 0.05002 69 54 15 0
3227 I believe someone here has a game-changing latte flavor idea in their head 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
3228 Pumtec Pumpkin Latte Control Commission Meeting 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3229 The Evangelicals are boycotting all pagan holidays. Mississippi barges are stranded with undelivered pumpkins. Starbucks strikes are squashing pumpkin latte profits. We're getting carved up. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3230 The outlook is bright for the end of October, but demand will fall rapidly in November. 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3231 I've asked Peter Peter to conduct an internal audit. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3232 All these ideas will be rotten in a week. 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
3233 I know you're all reeling from the recent cuts, but I'm here to enlighten you ... 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3234 I got a phone call fom Elon this morning. 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
3235 I bet that’s the last time you go to a cheap plastic surgeon. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3236 No worry, in a few days you will soften up! 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3237 Now listen, let's spice up the corporation a little bit. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3238 I think we can all agree those MAGA caps were so 2016…… 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
3239 « Please give a warm welcome to the new serving members of the Illuminati’s board of directors! » 1.2174 0.04324 92 72 20 0
3240 So, I see we’re in rough patch. 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
3241 I'm sorry gentlemen, but this does make it easier to fire a few of you. 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
3242 The Gourd Meeting 1.2169 0.04551 83 65 18 0
3243 I say forget this meeting, let's get smashed! 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3244 Time to work on next year's theme. I suggest a smiling JackOLantern. Everyone agreed? 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
3245 Who wants to chair the equity, diversity and inclusion committee? 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3246 Carve that smirk off your face, Kurbis. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
3247 Our latest numbers are in and, frankly, we're smashed. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
3248 We've just been bought out by 'Big Pumpkin' 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
3249 Who agrees that our company’s whole identity changed since the hostile takeover? 1.2167 0.05363 60 47 13 0
3250 Would it help if I spiced things up a bit? 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3251 Let's face it... Well, let me rephrase that. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3252 They cal lme MISTER Pumpkin Head. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3253 I want to see each of you turn that frown upside down! Knives are in the kitchen. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
3254 We have to act fast. Time is ticking. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
3255 O'Lantern, I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
3256 If we just put our heads together we can really get cooking! 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
3257 The good news? Orange might be cool again after the elections. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
3258 On acounta supply problems in our pie business, I'm afraid heads are gonna hafta roll. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3259 Would it kill you smile? 1.2167 0.05363 60 47 13 0
3260 Oh for gourd’s sake, you mean I can’t say that even with no ghouls present? 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3261 So what are we planning for Christmas? 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
3262 So I’ve been thinking of making Halloween a team building day, what do y’all think 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
3263 That’s the difference between you and me- I’m not smiling either, but you’ll never know it. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
3264 Don’t panic! We’ve got the guts and brains to stop Candy Corn’s hostile takeover. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3265 And if you don't start showing some holiday spirit, I'll replace you with ten little snowmen who are smiling ear to ear. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3266 Cheer up! Think of the satisfaction you'll feel when you contribute to those festive pies. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3267 Why the long faces? 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3268 Unfortunately, there will be candles only for some of you this year’s halloween bonus 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3269 Why the sour faces, guys? For our next team building meeting, we will take off the jack-o-lanterns and dress up as Santa Claus. Any complaints? 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3270 I need 3 volunteers to help make this year's pumpkin pie. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3271 So who wants to start off the meeting today? What- do I have something on my face? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3272 It's unanimous: we'll protest the upcoming Smashing Pumpkins concert-- 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3273 Mask mandate extended through Thanksgiving: all in favor say "Pie"! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3274 I think it's time we put a new face on things. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3275 We’ll carve up the profit next 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3276 Sorry, Jack, we’re going to have to let you go on November first. Sorry, Jack, we’re going to have to let you go on November first. Sorry, Jack, we’re going to have to let you go on November first. Sorry, Jack…Sorry, Jack…Sorry, Jack…Sorry, Jack… 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3277 Welcome to your jack'o'linternship 1.2162 0.04818 74 58 16 0
3278 Good morning, I’m Chief Twit, you’re all FIRED! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3279 Now if there’s no further business, I move we adjourn. Frankly, you all look like you’re starting to rot. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3280 As part of our DEI initiative we’ve decided to hire someone who’s name isn’t Jack. 1.2162 0.04818 74 58 16 0
3281 Happiness is what you make of it, gentlemen. You need to carve your own success 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3282 For whatever reason, the botox worked out differently for me. Let's just move on,shall we? 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3283 I'd like to announce this year's outing. First, we will be enjoying a salon facelift, then we get lit. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3284 Looks like you all went to the same carver 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3285 Last year I asked you all to plant some seeds, and this is all you brought to the table? 1.2162 0.04818 74 58 16 0
3286 So many brilliant heads in this table 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3287 I am sorry to report that the Pumpkin Patch did not obtain FDA approval 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3288 You’ve probably all heard, we’re in a bit of a rough patch right now. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3289 One thing we’ve carved out this year was increasing head count and we’ve squashed those previous numbers. 1.2162 0.04818 74 58 16 0
3290 Let’s get down to the important business. Who brought the roasted seeds? 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3291 Well, since business is down we have now carve out non-performers 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3292 I’ve called this Executive Gourd Meeting because we have pumpkin to discuss 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3293 I can’t believe he made us celebrate Halloween in the Metaverse” 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3294 Yes, profits are down, but we can’t lose our heads. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3295 Ok, so where's the chart? 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
3296 But the good news is, YOUR cut of the pie hasn’t changed. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
3297 My face always lights up when I get to can someone. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
3298 Our November earnings should be a smashing success! 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
3299 Hey, little Pumpkin heads, let's turn those frowns into smiles! 1.2157 0.07037 51 42 7 2
3300 It’s almost Halloween, and we have to find that witch. Any ideas? 1.2157 0.06456 51 41 9 1
3301 First, we take the company private. Send, we reduce headcount. 1.2157 0.07574 51 43 5 3
3302 This year's bonuses are all going to be tricks. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
3303 I'm glad to see you're all so sad today. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
3304 Well,no one can say we don’t think alike! 1.2154 0.06755 65 55 6 4
3305 Smile, every man jack o' you. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
3306 You all are finally just like me. My work here is done. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
3307 So, it's agreed. Halloween is a plot by plastic surgeons to force us to have facial reconstruction every year. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
3308 I wanna carve smiles on all of your faces! 1.2154 0.05139 65 51 14 0
3309 Pumpkin seeds give me gas. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
3310 Peter has made a hostile takeover bid. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
3311 I may look happy but I’m torn apart on the inside. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
3312 Corporate wants to bring back Mr Potato Head. Our patch isn't cost effective. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
3313 I 've been asked to apologize for referring to you as "seeds for brains." 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
3314 Tomorrow we squash the gourds. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
3315 And in conclusion, it is my pleasure to inform you that heads will roll!" 1.2154 0.05139 65 51 14 0
3316 He is the head of the gourdroom 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
3317 Ever feel like the work we do is hollow? 1.2154 0.06755 65 55 6 4
3318 I’m upset as all of you, but my face is carved this way. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
3319 Today folks, we need a volunteer for the stairs outside. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
3320 I'm excited to announce that under this new acquisition, some of you will be transferred to the pie department. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
3321 I’m plant-based now, guys! 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
3322 And now a message from the Chairman of the Gourd 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
3323 Since we’re sponsoring the Halloween Festival this year, I’ve signed you all up for the pie eating contest. 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
3324 ...And that's my plan to squash the competition! 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
3325 Judging by the looks on your faces,we could be finished by November 1st. 1.2152 0.04653 79 62 17 0
3326 We'd like the staff to move from horses to electric vehicles. 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
3327 Very soon you will all be replaced by candy canes. 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
3328 So for dessert,will it be pumpkin pie or apple pie? 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
3329 We are a seedy bunch. 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
3330 You all look like you’ve seen a ghost. 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
3331 Caption: "Gentlemen, I am pleased to announce that the renewable candle factory has experienced an "accident". Title: artificial scare-city 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
3332 After this morning's "I'm not a Pumpkin Head, you're a Pumpkin Head" name calling incident HR has banned the use of the term "Pumpkin Head" from now on. 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
3333 By 2025, 50% of management must be Jill O'Lanterns. 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
3334 I’m now the new Head of our company. 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
3335 We all made it through another Halloween, so let’s cheer up. 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
3336 … you may see some heads rolling… 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
3337 Thanks to all your personal sacrifices, the company can now afford to give out king sized bonuses to our top executives. 1.2152 0.06155 79 67 7 5
3338 I'm glad we could all carve out this time together. 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
3339 Great news, men. Hallowe'en has been cancelled this year 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
3340 Sales are up. Market share is up. Next quarter's projections are outstanding. Will nothing make you happy? 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
3341 Bad news — the HOA voted for only smiley faces this year. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
3342 In November even your boss becomes fungi. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
3343 New plan: We are pivoting into Valentine's Day. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
3344 So, who's new here? 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
3345 Well, I see that all of us have avoided the squirrel problem! 1.2143 0.06091 56 45 10 1
3346 Ok Team, the last item on the agenda is, who wants to participate this year in Sleepy Hallow, NY? All you will need is a horse. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
3347 "Cheer up, team — next month we're doing turkeys." 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
3348 Let’s circle back to the stem of the issue. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
3349 While batboys,witches and ghosts continue to see their market share per house diluted by high tech lights and projection horrors,we dominate Halloween's front porch segment by a huge margin. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
3350 If the shareholders are hungry, then let them eat pie. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
3351 There will be fewer treats but more tricks to share this year. 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
3352 And if this ever happens again, heads will roll. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
3353 And this quarter we're poised to enter the incredibly profitable pumpkin spice latte dog food market. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
3354 Making it in this business takes guts. 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
3355 I'm so sick of being characterized as a grinning idiot! 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
3356 Don't worry; we'll have his head on a platter by next quarter. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
3357 So far, the team is a head. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
3358 Spiced coffee is our past but baked bread is our future! 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
3359 Well, do we trick 'em or treat 'em? 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
3360 I see you're all pumpkin heads like me. 1.2143 0.06603 56 46 8 2
3361 As head pumpkin head, allow me to explain the carve-out. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
3362 I'm going to have to let some of you glow. 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
3363 Who's ready to smash our competition? 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
3364 I have some sad news, but it feels inappropriate to share it with this face 1.2143 0.06603 56 46 8 2
3365 …and that, my friends, is how we take over Christmas. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
3366 We've hired our very first Jill-o-Lantern! 1.2143 0.06091 56 45 10 1
3367 This year, the entertainment at our corporate retreat will be Smashing Pumpkins!” 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
3368 Most of you did not follow directions. I said happy faces! Like me 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
3369 Okay, if you're going to suck up to me, you can't all do it the same way. 1.2143 0.07078 56 47 6 3
3370 I am pleased to announce this company's takeover of Mister Potato Head Enterprises." 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
3371 For the last time,Stop riding horses! It’s making us look bad! 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
3372 What exactly do you mean by, “we just bought a votive company?” 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
3373 I’m here to let you know I have succeeded in purchasing Pumpkin Twitter, and now you are all fired… 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
3374 In order to have more income, we made some cuts in pie department" 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
3375 Ladies & gentlemen, I think we have a solution for our squirrel problem 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
3376 The world thinks we’re just a bunch of pumpkin heads in suits s 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
3377 Let’s talk about this Billy Corgan. 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
3378 If we don’t come up with something fresh in 3-5 days heads are gonna roll! 1.2143 0.06091 56 45 10 1
3379 So, gentlemen, how do we handle Peter this year? 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
3380 Well folks, we squashed the competition 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
3381 Enough work, it's time to get Lit team. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
3382 We just feel that the “trick” option could continue to backfire 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
3383 One of us is going to have to change. 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
3384 Now that we have the seed money for this startup lets discuss growing the business. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
3385 Hollow Within, Always Smilin’ 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
3386 … and for revenge we are gonna call it the human spice latte. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
3387 first… i’d like to thank you for your diversity and inclusion efforts over this past year. that being said, it feels like we still have a lot of work to do. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
3388 Gutted this quarter again, Jack. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
3389 I know you’re absolutely gutted about working over the holiday but it’s time to carve those frowns upside down. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
3390 Business casual is so easy for men. 1.2143 0.07078 56 47 6 3
3391 President pumpkin: "just to let ya'll know, you're not cut out for this job and you're fired, good day gentleman" 1.2143 0.06091 56 45 10 1
3392 The Diversity Committee has ruled that five of you must be replaced by pumpkins of color. 1.2136 0.05098 103 86 12 5
3393 That's the long and short of it, gentlemen. By November we'll all be dead and rotten. 1.2136 0.05281 103 87 10 6
3394 So--which one of you wants to be the pie this year? 1.2135 0.04651 89 71 17 1
3395 Who has a spicy idea? 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
3396 Thank you all for carving out time to pumpk-into the office on a holiday. 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
3397 Listen team, we need to improve morale and enjoy our work! It’s like those frowns are carved on your faces! 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
3398 The Pumpkin Spice Lattes on the table were meant to be a joke… 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3399 I know we're facing headcount reduction, but the severance package will be generous. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3400 The good news is that we have a new dental plan . . . the bad news is soon a lot of you won't be around to take advantage of it. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3401 I'd appreciate it if you'd give me your names for the big company Halloween party. I 'm Jack O. So, that one's already been taken. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3402 I know our heads are getting softer by the day but, we made so many children so happy! 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3403 You mean we're ALL named Jack? 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3404 There’s been a lot of progress since our people were put down as mere horsemen. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3405 It's November 1st: time to talk furloughs. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3406 I'm happy to report that you've all been invited to the Smashing Pumpkins festival! 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3407 J O' we've seen a rise in spice lattes, pies, soups and seeds our breads and cakes have gotten squashed. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3408 Oh my, it’s getting late! 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
3409 I promise — it will all be worth it when we squash the competition. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3410 I want to see a light come on in your head. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3411 Okay,someone leaked that the CEO would be going as a pumpkin 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3412 As the new British Prime Minister, I'd just like to check you've all had your heads hollowed out? 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3413 We are getting lots of pressure to more diverse. Any ideas on other squash that would be a fit? 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3414 Who's more cutting edge than us? 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3415 There goes the new diversity mandate! 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3416 Our numbers are great! Why the sour expressions? 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3417 Looks like we all have our work carved out for us. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3418 .... and we hope that you will all get fired up by our new display campaign..... 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3419 Today we will begin our meeting with a special dessert 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
3420 You all have to put on a better face 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3421 Gentlemen, our company is in the red! 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3422 Let's have lunch; I'm treating. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3423 Great news! Pumpkin spice lattes will be available through June! 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3424 Why so glum? We just squashed the competition. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3425 Hopefully this new partnership with Wix will give us the visibility we need. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3426 It’s been a hostile takeover by pumpkin spice. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3427 It’s scary how many of these meetings could have been an email. Its no treat. You’ve been tricked into coming over 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3428 Gourd Meeting 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
3429 David was the unusual pumpkin who was terrible at poker. 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
3430 Forget EBITDA. By Thanksgiving, we'll be pie. 1.2131 0.05287 61 48 13 0
3431 We should make this more than an annual event! 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
3432 Shall we take a quick recess? Or maybe a snickers? 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
3433 We're done here, gentlemen. I don't care for the expressions on your faces. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
3434 All those in favor of the motion to get smashed, say aye. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
3435 My fellow Pumpkins, how do we alter the myth so that we'r eating Peter and not vice versa? 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
3436 The ayes have it. Our competition will be squashed. 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
3437 We’re requiring you to be in the pumpkin three days a week. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
3438 Well my fellow gourd members, if you don't know me by now, then you don't know Jack! 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
3439 If any of you have skeletons in the closet make damn sure they stay there. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
3440 My apologies, I can only carve out time for one of you today. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
3441 I’m happy to report that this quarter’s earnings are not as scary as expected. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
3442 We need someone to come up with a better Halloween theme - or heads are going to roll 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
3443 Greed, for lack of a better word, is gourd. 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
3444 We’re looking to carve out a new path this year, boys. Nothing to fear… just some of you might get squashed. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
3445 Has anyone else got a headache? 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
3446 Daniel the events manager is no longer with us. Mostly because it's July. 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
3447 Gentlemen - without the wisdom of women on this Board, it is very likely we will be squashed! 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
3448 Let’s get an update on the 4Q pumpkin spice market. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
3449 The name’s O’Lantern- but you can call me Jack. 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
3450 Well no matter how you are carved, I think this is a matter you can support. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
3451 They need ten jack-o-lanterns for the Halloween Party this year. 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
3452 We can’t hold a candle. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
3453 I see ALL of us have had a bit of work done- 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
3454 This year, we want to try real candles. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
3455 From now on, we'll be presenting our financials as pie charts. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
3456 I look forward to introducing you to our new chairman, Billy Corgan. 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
3457 Low profit earner this week gets a seasonal latté. 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
3458 This is a switch from wanting to take the day off on Halloween ! 1.2121 0.05071 66 52 14 0
3459 Positivity gets you promoted. 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
3460 And now, let's here from the third Jack on the left. 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
3461 There's some rumors I need to squash. 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
3462 I'm gonna need you guys to cheer up! 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
3463 I like the cut of your jib 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
3464 Peter Peter's the name. I aim to double profits by getting twice the production from half the gourds. So yes, I am a pumpkin eater. 1.2121 0.06660 66 56 6 4
3465 We have squashed the competition this year 1.2121 0.05071 66 52 14 0
3466 The cost of treats has gone through the roof. Next year, we're only offering tricks. 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
3467 Alas, yet another Chief Diversity Officer has resigned. 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
3468 Jack, you’re not cut out for this job. 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
3469 And before I announce the layoffs, make sure my walk-on song is from Smashing Pumpkins. 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
3470 I for one am loving these Pumpkin Spice meetings. 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
3471 We've been told to work on diversity, so next week we'll be adding an eggplant and I hope you all will welcome it to our little group. 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
3472 Unfortunately the market is already spooked 1.2121 0.05071 66 52 14 0
3473 Try to not allow the advent of Pumpkin Spice everything go to your heads. 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
3474 Let's all put our heads together for Thanksgiving! 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
3475 Solutions, gentlemen. Otherwise, heads will roll. 1.2121 0.05071 66 52 14 0
3476 Our lay off notices are imminent. 1.2121 0.05071 66 52 14 0
3477 I am sorry, but by after halloween we will cut 75% of our staff. 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
3478 And the bad news is, you're all going to be replaced with smiles. 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
3479 ...and with such strong October numbers, I see no reason why November and December can't be even greater! 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
3480 The numbers are in -- we're going to be making some cuts. 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
3481 And for those of you gentlemen who do not meet their sales quota, I have but two words of warning: Thanksgiving pie. 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
3482 Don't worry, boys, we can squash this takeover! 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
3483 Another meeting that could have been an email 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
3484 Sales has been disappointing, we need to get a-head by Monday 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
3485 This is why Return To Office was always a bad idea. 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
3486 Whoops left off hashtag … “Good news: Pumpkin spice sales are way up. Bad news: Morale is way down.” 1.2121 0.06660 66 56 6 4
3487 We are adjusting the company dress code to require gray suits. 1.2118 0.04458 85 67 18 0
3488 Now, I want you all to smash your heads together! 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
3489 I’m looking to carve out a more optimistic outlook. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
3490 Raise your hand if you’re excited about this years office Christmas party!? 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
3491 Sorry I’m late - pumpkin carving party…. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
3492 Gentlemen, tomorrow is Halloween, feel free to dress up if you’d like 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
3493 this is our busiest time of the year. pull yourselves together! if i see one more "help yourselves' sign.... 1.2115 0.06344 52 42 9 1
3494 Any ideas besides pumpkin spice? 1.2115 0.06344 52 42 9 1
3495 . “Unfortunately we do not see candles as a sustainable product line.” 1.2115 0.06344 52 42 9 1
3496 Succeeding here takes a lot of guts. 1.2113 0.04879 71 56 15 0
3497 I'm certain that business will be smashing by the end of the month." 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
3498 Things may look bleak, but remember there is a light within you. 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
3499 Why all the sad faces? 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
3500 A seasonal board 1.2113 0.04879 71 56 15 0
3501 Yea or Nay, enlist zombies in revolt 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
3502 Good news! Due to the interruption in the supply lines and inflation, we are able to raise the prices for our pumpkins! 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
3503 I’m only going to smash one of you 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
3504 Good morning members of the board,this month is our special time of the year because our Halloween candy products are about to go through the roof. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
3505 Our next resolution must be a smashing success! 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
3506 Everyone has to wear a different costume next year. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
3507 Ok Team time to squash the competition 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
3508 The Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion committee says the board needs more spice. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
3509 The merger with the Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater Corporation is now official! 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
3510 The board has approved the Initial Pumpkin Offering. 1.2113 0.06317 71 60 7 4
3511 Peter Peter pumpkin leader 1.2113 0.06628 71 61 5 5
3512 Hold steady until January 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
3513 Honestly, I think we all need a good kick in the head. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
3514 The good news is that pie sales are expected to rise over the next quarter... 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
3515 With sales down and motivation flagging, I’m afraid I’m going to have to carve out a new role for all of you. 1.2113 0.04879 71 56 15 0
3516 So we will implement Corporate policy, but we’ll be squashed by Thanksgiving in Pumpkin Pie! 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
3517 I'd describe myself as a Jack of all trades 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
3518 May I pick your brains on a couple of ideas for this upcoming Halloween? 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
3519 In line with our new Black, Indigenous and pumpkins of color (BIPOC) policy, we will add 4 summer squash and zucchini to our board next year. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
3520 So we all agree to do humans this Halloween! 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
3521 We've owned Halloween for decades. Next step, taking over Thanksgiving. However, those squash are going to be tough to beat. 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
3522 And the winner for best costume is… 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
3523 So is there a Plan B? 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
3524 Same old tired complaint, no diversity on our board! 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
3525 Okay now go out there and sell yourselves! 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
3526 Hands out, Hand Mixers in! 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
3527 With Halloween fast approaching, I remind each of you to be mindful of your surroundings and to avoid Trick or Treaters at all cost. 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
3528 So how are we going to prepare a counter attack for the squirrels? 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
3529 ...and heads will roll! 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
3530 What we need around here is a little spice ! 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
3531 Welcome to Michael Meyers Ltd. Our pre-IPO branding is really taking off! 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
3532 Well we had a hell of a first quarter 1.2105 0.06497 57 47 8 2
3533 This meeting has gone on for too long Jacks. Let's wrap it up before our heads turn to mush. 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
3534 He would never be running this place if he hadn't invented the Human Spiced Latte. 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
3535 Cheer up, boys: the apple may be America’s pie, but the spice latte is all ours. 1.2105 0.06497 57 47 8 2
3536 A pumpkin latte would taste really good now. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
3537 Welcome in the goard-room. Gourd-room, get it? Because we're pumpkins! 1.2105 0.07399 57 49 4 4
3538 The public thinks this company has squash for brains. 1.2105 0.06497 57 47 8 2
3539 All in favor of making tomatoes the official symbol of Halloween vote aye. 1.2105 0.06963 57 48 6 3
3540 Hey! I did say that if we kept drinking the pumpkin spice lattes the intern brings us, we’d turn into pumpkins! 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
3541 If we don’t figure this out it heads will roll. 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
3542 HR has informed me employees should now be referred to as X-O'-Lanterns. 1.2105 0.06497 57 47 8 2
3543 Heads are gonna roll if we don’t squash the pie rumors 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
3544 Hello, I’m Jack O’Lantern, your new CEO! 1.2105 0.05448 57 45 12 0
3545 Remember , you may be hollowed out and practically toothless, but it is your job to not collapse under the weight of an errant squirrel trying to get inside your head or increasingly warmer than average fall nights. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
3546 Our market share is half that of Mr. Potato Head. 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
3547 Put on those thinking caps again! We had a great squash hit but our zucchini spice is not selling! 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
3548 Oh, come on! My head got turned into a pumpkin too but you don’t see me all down in the dumps about it. 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
3549 Guys the company will go bankrupt if we all act like pumpkin heads and not carve out any sharp plans 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
3550 Once again we will plot our spice latte domination across the country 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
3551 i assume you all have gotten the scoop 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
3552 What’s our strategy on xmas 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
3553 For some reason, orange has a negative effect on today"s society. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
3554 Who died? 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
3555 I’m pleased to announce Smashing Pumpkins will be featured at our holiday party 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
3556 The trick this Halloween: lay-offs! 1.2105 0.06497 57 47 8 2
3557 That’s just business folks! I’m sorry you were all made to feel this way 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
3558 I know this is a tough time of year. Now,your assignment is to squash the trend that pumpkins are the new kale. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
3559 I guess y’all didn’t get the memo to wear a happy face. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
3560 So, motion carries that we all just sit here until our heads rot and cave in. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
3561 We’re going to get so lit on halloween. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
3562 No executive bonus this year. Trick or treat? 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
3563 Why so sad? 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
3564 I'm so excited about the Hallmark Countdown to Christmas! 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
3565 Este año estamos a cargo de la navidad 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
3566 Any volunteers for the pie chart? 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
3567 Not sure what’s going this morning; I feel like everyone’s heads are a little empty today. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
3568 That moment, Harold began to be concerned that forecasts weren't projected past October. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
3569 And for dessert, the Fall Classic, pumpkin pie. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
3570 With the economy as it is, some heads will roll. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
3571 Firstly, did anyone bring a lighter? 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
3572 Pay no attention to the Libby's truck downstairs. The merger is going as planned. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
3573 I know it's a holiday, but you all have to work at the Pumpkin Patch this year. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
3574 I don't want to squash any ideas, so you'll need to use your gourds. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
3575 I hear you, brethren, I too am overcome with survivor's guilt this close to Halloween. 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
3576 HA, HA, HA...NOW TELL ME ONE I HAVEN'T HEARD JACK! 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
3577 We’re limiting our expenses to two candles per head this year, but I know you’ll make do. 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
3578 Good news! This year’s bonus will be a lifetime supply of pumpkin pie! 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
3579 I’m only smiling because I make so much more money than all of you! 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
3580 Diversity is not in our vocabulary. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
3581 Very illuminating how you have carved out new markets, Jones – we’ll make pie of the competitors! 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
3582 Just a "heads up" that our dental plan has been canceled! 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
3583 I’m glad we could all carve out time for this meeting. 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
3584 … more importantly, which one of you farted in the elevator? 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
3585 Meet the new Chairman of the Gourd 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
3586 Gourd room 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
3587 We need pumpkins to be young and hip with the kids. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
3588 We need to make sure all our seeds are planted correctly. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
3589 I'm your new CEO, Peter Peter. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3590 I'm starting to think this whole "Casual Friday" thing is getting out of hand. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3591 Smile and the world smiles with you, gentlemen. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3592 It's a trick-or-treat state of affairs 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3593 First matter on the agenda - how do we avoid post-Halloween shrinking and rotting? 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
3594 Josh here has made a motion that we abandon the pop-up Halloween store business. Can I get a second, anyone, no second? What a surprise - read the fucking room Josh. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3595 Halloween? Never heard of it 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3596 I’ve assigned each one of you a baker. 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
3597 I’m sure you are all be thrilled to hear we have booked for this year’s 4th of July celebration ‘The Smashing Pumpkins’ 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3598 Look, I know times are tough, but there's nothing we can't do if we put our pulps and seeds together. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3599 For some of you, it's stick a candle inside, because you're done. 1.2090 0.06568 67 57 6 4
3600 Pumpkinhead executives discuss shareholder tricks and treats. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3601 Pump-con 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3602 That's just the kind of empty-headed nonsense we need around here, Jackson! 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3603 My proposal will carve a smile in your faces. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3604 Who thinks says nepotism is wrong? 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3605 I am Q! Anyone who doesn’t like it will be pie by morning. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3606 I've good news on our dental plan. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3607 Phil, you've lost your stem. Get out! 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3608 We need to diversify. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3609 By the first of November, you’ll all be out on the front porch 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3610 I believe that we’ve just scratched the surface with pumpkin spice 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3611 The competition has squashed us for the last time. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3612 I still believe that one of you will be truly great. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3613 How di we end up as a glumkin patch? 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3614 I’d personally like to congratulate Jack for his promotion to Head of Pie Operations. 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
3615 Sooooo, Thanksgiving is coming 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3616 Now isn’t this better than Easter when we all had egg on our face? 1.2090 0.06568 67 57 6 4
3617 Ted, Ted, the Cabbage Head has transferred to the foreign office. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3618 I know it's June. We're starting early this year! 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3619 Accounting reports seeds missing . Heads are going to roll. 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
3620 Ahem, I don't want to mention any names but one of you doesn't have a stem." "That's not a good look for our company. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3621 This should come as no surprise, but in November we’ll be going through significant downsizing. 1.2090 0.06568 67 57 6 4
3622 PSL season is almost over. Expect some layoffs next week. 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
3623 Corporate is suggesting we move to electric candles this year 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3624 I will handle the merger. You will all be harvested for pie. 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
3625 What’s the matter? You guys all look hollowed out. 1.2087 0.04537 115 95 16 4
3626 Profits are down. We will increase production of Jack-O-Lanters. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3627 It seems someone has eaten the whole pie. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3628 Well, it's our last week here, so- let's go out with a smash, eh Jacks? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3629 This is our quarter to capture emoji market share. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3630 I know, we'll all breathe better when Halloween is over! 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3631 Don't look so sad, we are only sending a few of you to our pumpkin patch in New Jersey. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3632 I volunteered y'all to become pies! 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3633 And congratulations to the hiring committee for the diverse new hires. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3634 Lack of diversity is what they found most frightening about us. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3635 It does not really matter because none of us will be around this time next year 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3636 these suits are really stupid 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3637 We’ll be working in person until the seed round closes. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3638 I think we need more diversity. Maybe a squash or two. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3639 I'm sorry to report we'll be carved up again this Halloween. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3640 The candle says you are all fired! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3641 Seriously, my farts smell like pumpkin spice this year. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3642 DOES AYONE OTHER THAN JACK HAVE A QUESTION? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3643 I now call this gourd meeting to order. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3644 Sadly, two of you are needed in our Spice and Pie Division. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3645 Gentlemen, once we acquire Amalgamated Candle our futures will be looking brighter. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3646 A smile is just a frown turned upside down 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3647 If we miss on revenue this quarter heads will roll. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3648 I have an idea. Does anyone have a candle?" 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3649 Okay, people, we need ORIGINAL ideas thjs year. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3650 And they thought Elon Musk's moderation council was scary. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3651 Who ate the pie? 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
3652 I think we’re long overdue for some rebranding. Children aren’t afraid of us. They use our heads as a candy purse. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3653 Gentlemen, in a few minutes I will be sharing the company's quarterly report, please do not light yourselves up yet. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3654 Aye Aye Cap- Tan! Let's Squash it. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3655 You're all a bunch of empty heads in empty suits. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3656 So who has an idea how to take down pumpkin spice lattes once and for all? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3657 Don't worry. Be happy. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
3658 Alright, who drew the short candle? 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
3659 Well I don’t know about you but I’m feeling pretty gutted 1.2078 0.05944 77 65 8 4
3660 I’ve called this meeting to squash the competition. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
3661 We need to bring on a jack o’ all trades. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
3662 Okay, so every man-Jack among you agrees we should proceed with the hostile takeover. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
3663 Gentlemen, if you too work hard and succeed, you can have your face carved to look just like mine. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
3664 C'mon, let's get all our gourds together on this one! 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
3665 Why so glum? Our profits increased 100% and your November bonus will be twice what it was last year. 1.2078 0.05944 77 65 8 4
3666 Now that I am head, together we will carve out new markets. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
3667 Why so glum? Halloween may be terrible for our brand, but it keeps us front and center. 1.2078 0.05944 77 65 8 4
3668 It's only a matter of time before we will be forced to spice things up. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
3669 I’m happy to report that the only one getting laid off is Jack. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
3670 No trick, our profits were a real treat this year 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
3671 Somewhere out there in our factory, is a young man who believes we are one of the most sincere pumpkin corporations, and that I, the Great Pumpkin, will rise up and give him a living wage. Poor sap! 1.2075 0.06793 53 44 7 2
3672 Spot the odd one out 1.2075 0.05624 53 42 11 0
3673 I'm insulted that they call us 'pumpkin heads' ! 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
3674 Only my compensation package covers dental." 1.2073 0.04504 82 65 17 0
3675 I'm afraid to say I have some bad news: all of you will soon be replaced by peppermint mochas. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
3676 Gentlemen,I believe we’re looking at death by a thousand cuts. 1.2073 0.05686 82 69 9 4
3677 This will show those country bumpkins 1.2073 0.05686 82 69 9 4
3678 Jenkins, you're a brainless twit. And I'm not saying this just because your head is literally empty. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
3679 Stop worrying about the pie chart--all gourd members are getting a raise! 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
3680 Idiots. Grinning is scarier than frowning. 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
3681 We need a board member with a head on their shoulders”. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
3682 Anyone got any bright ideas.? 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
3683 Looks like all of you have gone through a rough patch. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
3684 Calling him a pumpkin may just be taken as a compliment. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
3685 To think everyone here is named Jack! 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
3686 Our company is pivoting, it’s just a little re-carving.” 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
3687 So we are all agreed....the reason we are no longer in the least frightening is not because we have gone corporate! 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
3688 This event will be a smashing success. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
3689 Folks! I can tell you that the face lift and dental implants are life changing! 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
3690 It’s really hard to get a head in this business. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
3691 Disappointing, I know, but I'm afraid we have to squash the project. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
3692 All my pumpkin-head friends, how come I am the only one smiling? 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
3693 That’s a GOOD pumpkin idea, but I’m looking for a GREAT pumpkin idea. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
3694 The board of directors is shocked as the CEO of Costco lays out the plan to transition to Christmas decor days before Halloween. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
3695 Well, I know we are all kin -pumpkin that is. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3696 We can brighten this grim outlook, but I'm afraid it is going to take further cuts. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3697 Diversity requires bold changes... 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
3698 If we acquire candy corn we can corner the Halloween market 1.2063 0.06463 63 53 7 3
3699 We want the shareholders to see happy faces. 1.2063 0.05139 63 50 13 0
3700 To increase gender diversity, the board will consider several new names: Jackie, Jacqueline, Jaclyn and Jacinth. 1.2063 0.05139 63 50 13 0
3701 Starbuck's is looking for a few good heads in product development. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
3702 Good news is pumpkin spice latte sales are skyrocketing. Bad news is we need more pumpkins for the lattes. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
3703 Yes, I also used to mind the gap. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3704 As the new Chairman, I’m happy to report that our stockholders have voted for smiley faces. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
3705 Trick or settlement. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3706 And wipe that stupid grin off your face. 1.2063 0.06848 63 54 5 4
3707 Candy is for closers. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
3708 Good news! We've booked The Smashing Pumpkins to play our annual holiday party. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
3709 Jacks, I know your brains are all mush, but I'm going to need some ideas for squashing the competition. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
3710 Why are you all looking at me like I’m out of my gourd? 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
3711 Okay, we'll start with a pie chart . . . 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3712 Our yearend forecast is now looking a bit scary. 1.2063 0.05139 63 50 13 0
3713 and now Johnson, what's the latest on our war with Potato Heads 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3714 Okay we all knew this day was coming. Time to choose between pie or patch. 1.2063 0.05139 63 50 13 0
3715 In other news— I will be replacing Jack as the new face of the company. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3716 Some one relight Johnson candle, it looks like he's nodding off. 1.2063 0.05139 63 50 13 0
3717 The theme for our next meeting will be...mashed potatoes. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3718 I'll pie to make this simple... 1.2063 0.05139 63 50 13 0
3719 As you probably can tell- I just had a facelift - and I feel so much happier now! 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
3720 Guys, one day a year is not enough! . 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3721 We’re bringing back that orange guy. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
3722 As the demand for bobble heads decline, I think this year we might have a chance. 1.2063 0.05139 63 50 13 0
3723 Our month end numbers for October are through the roof, but the November landscape is drying up 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3724 President: “Halloween has been canceled as a company holiday”. Employee whispers “Can you believe this Jackass-O-Lantern?!” 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3725 The American Pumpkin Association’s annual meeting on PSD (Pumpkin Spice Disorder) 1.2063 0.06463 63 53 7 3
3726 ….And please don’t get smashed at the holiday party… 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3727 The numbers this quarter are scary!!! 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3728 ‘It’s been a year of good growth, team, but Q4 will squash us - once again.’ 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
3729 You’re never fully dressed without a smile. 1.2063 0.06848 63 54 5 4
3730 We're heading in a different direction. I want you to assemble the best carvers. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
3731 With the coming recession, we may have to carve more of you 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
3732 What's with all the sad faces 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
3733 I'm sorry, but Halloween is on a Monday this year. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
3734 I’ve gathered you here to squash this debate. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
3735 Finally,some of you looked spooked. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
3736 Your plan has failed, Jenkins. Once again, this board votes —unanimously— against having Secret Santa. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
3737 What’s everyone’s favorite holiday Halloween?” -Alison K. Burns, Massachusett 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
3738 Good news! We'll be promoting Smashing Pumpkins! 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
3739 Gentlemen, it’s time to carve out a new deal 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
3740 The price of fertilizer is going up so much we have to cut down on employee meal expenses. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
3741 How do you feel about diversifying into melons? 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
3742 Great suggestion Jack, but don’t lose your head over it! 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
3743 So much for meeting our diversity goals 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
3744 Smashing Pumpkins will be performing at this year's holiday party! 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3745 I'm happy to announce our new diversity initiative. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3746 I called you all here to carve out new plans for the company 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3747 Gentlemen, I fear we have a traitor in our midst. One of you is certainly rotten. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3748 I'm sure if we put our heads together, we can come up with an excellent plant-based option for the Christmas party... soup anyone? 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3749 We've acquired the firm, Peter Peter. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3750 Has anyone got a better idea for our next horror film than “Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater XVIII?” 1.2055 0.06156 73 62 7 4
3751 Well, it's that time of year again for cutting staff... 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
3752 Maybe we ARE slightly lacking in corporate diversity... 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
3753 Let’s spice things up. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3754 Why are all of you so sad? Your brains were used to make delicious pies. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3755 This year, I don't want anyone getting smashed at the party. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3756 Let’s face it, our pumpkin heads will rot off in a month or two, so let’s start carving out a plan to bridge the gap to Easter. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3757 You are not off today, so be happy! 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3758 Now who’s going to donate for the pie? 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3759 I'm afraid our board has been denigrated as rapidly being past our prime and lacking any significant diversity. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3760 Pumpkin pies, gentlemen. Pumpkin pies. It's a no-brainer. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3761 Does anybody have an idea why our mortality rate is increasing? 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3762 Great news, this year we've been invited to the company's Thanksgiving picnic. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3763 Because of the socialist-caused food shortages, we will now resort to cannibalism. Any volunteers for tonight's dinner? 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3764 Now I suggest we all take a break for some pumpkin lattes. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3765 Gentleman, let’s carve out some ideas. 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
3766 Now I’m sure you’ve all heard of the band Smashing Pumpkins” 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3767 I want to thank you all for complying with our new mask mandate 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3768 Scary is good gents, but I prefer being rich 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3769 Looking for some different ideas this year fellows. 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
3770 Now, some of you might be wondering if the diversity initiative will affect you personally... 1.2051 0.04602 78 62 16 0
3771 the last supper. 1.2051 0.04602 78 62 16 0
3772 Welcome to our annual diversity meeting. 1.2051 0.04602 78 62 16 0
3773 Unfortunately, we are all getting canned first of the month. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
3774 Peter P. Eater regaled his staff with stories about cannibalism in the gourd room. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
3775 The breakroom has been restocked with pumpkin spice coffee and muffins! 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
3776 Let’s review Q4’s patch numbers to see if we squashed predictions 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
3777 If some of you would just change your attitude, you’d be sitting in my chair. 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
3778 And not one witch at the table" 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
3779 Smithers, release the squirrels. 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
3780 Look, we're talking an emerging field and a sizable carve-out. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
3781 Who here refuses to opt for brain surgery? 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
3782 I think we can all agree that the seasonality of the business is killing us. 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
3783 I’m really pleased to announce that we’ve thrown a good scare into the competition. 1.2045 0.05636 88 75 8 5
3784 Our firm may be closing, but there are opportunities for you at bakeries worldwide. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
3785 As you all know, our annual headhunter meeting is scheduled for Monday… 1.2041 0.07131 49 41 6 2
3786 We have to make a strategic decision. Pie or Jack O Lantern? 1.2037 0.06131 54 44 9 1
3787 Bravo, gentlemen, the head count is unanimous. 1.2037 0.06677 54 45 7 2
3788 This in no time to spook the market. 1.2037 0.05532 54 43 11 0
3789 Hello, I'm Elon Musk 1.2037 0.06131 54 44 9 1
3790 Kudos on resolving our face mask problem. 1.2037 0.06677 54 45 7 2
3791 I’m Jack I’m a pumpkin spice addict”. “Hi Jack” 1.2037 0.06131 54 44 9 1
3792 I'm excited to announce we are merging with Headless Horseman Enterprises. 1.2037 0.06677 54 45 7 2
3793 Next agenda item: c-suite diversity. 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
3794 Apple is taking us over, so we're all fired. 1.2034 0.06743 59 50 6 3
3795 Now that we have Oreos up and out, shall we work on the Girl Scouts? 1.2034 0.06743 59 50 6 3
3796 We're not a dozen! 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3797 I'm happy to share that we've recruited Billy Corgan to be our new Director of HR. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3798 We need a plan to rid ourselves of the watermelon heads. 1.2034 0.06743 59 50 6 3
3799 I think you know why I’ve called you all here… 1.2034 0.05285 59 47 12 0
3800 With revenue drastically down some heads have to roll damn it! 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3801 We need more pumpkin spice, any volunteers? 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
3802 I felt the same at first but you'll see - after a few days, they dry out. Or you get used to the smell. Either way... 1.2034 0.05285 59 47 12 0
3803 Anyone for a human spiced latte? 1.2034 0.06743 59 50 6 3
3804 Memo: fungibly disseminate agile functionalities, Why can’t you get it through your thick heads? 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
3805 Thank you to Gord for choosing this year's costume theme. Next year Lance will be in charge. 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
3806 Now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. 1.2034 0.05285 59 47 12 0
3807 The good news is that the company is poised to make great gains next year, the bad news is that you ask will be kicked to the curb in early November. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3808 So, who’s up for a game of squash? 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3809 Gentlemen, it's clear that our efforts for Diversity and Inclusion have failed miserably. 1.2034 0.05285 59 47 12 0
3810 Hey Team,it's October so I'm sure you all know what that means--less of us around next year! 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
3811 Look at it this way, for one day a year we’re relieved from the horror of remembering each other’s name. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3812 If we don't meet our sales quotas by Halloween, heads will roll. 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
3813 ok, we are all seedy characters but we need to welcome women to the table 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3814 silver lining, I’ve just been promoted to pumpkin king 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
3815 In order to ramp up productivity, we planted your scraped seeds. 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
3816 Jack-CEO’-lantern 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3817 That's the bad news, the good news is the candle shipment has been delayed! 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
3818 Don't be mean pumpkin heads, patch up your differences. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3819 As the new company President,I propose we vote to improve our public image... 1.2031 0.05069 64 51 13 0
3820 It’s Decorative Board Season, Motherfuckers. 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
3821 Sales are trending upward in Q4. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3822 No more pies. No more Jack-O-Lanterns. Next stop: a hostile takeover of Christmas. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3823 I see that none of you is bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3824 We forecast a brilliant Halloween with dissolution into pies by Thanksgiving. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
3825 We've held the market for October as long as I remember, let's just be happy for that! 1.2031 0.05069 64 51 13 0
3826 No more spice talk! 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3827 As you know, we need a plan that will get us ahead. 1.2031 0.05069 64 51 13 0
3828 sales are down , any bright ideas? 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3829 Once again the agency squashed our idea! 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3830 Ok everyone, let’s carve out time to get ahead of things. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3831 when you sit silent like that you look like you don't have a brain in your head 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
3832 Great news team! The Smashing Pumkins will be performing in our city and you were chosen this year to be on stage with them. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
3833 You were all picked from the hedge… fund. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
3834 It's just a witches holiday. Nothing to lose your head over. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3835 I regret to inform you that we're cutting your allocation of candles. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3836 Once again, the market has turned spooky! 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
3837 I'll say it again guys. If the plan is still to open up a pie company, you're gonna get carved up. 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
3838 All in favor of reclaiming the color orange say Aye 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3839 Stemless Pumpkin Lives, Matter! 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
3840 - “I think the Jill-O-Lanterns will appeal to the female market.” 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
3841 Gourd is good. 1.2031 0.05069 64 51 13 0
3842 OK, maybe next year we better coordinate costume day at the office. Martin's jack-o'-lantern is already starting to rot. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
3843 While these layoffs are inevitable due to softening market conditions, a severance package will be delivered to your doorsteps in several weeks.” 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3844 - “And to close, I don’t want to see any of you smashed at next week’s holiday party” 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
3845 I'm just saying we proudly keep the "KIN" in pumpkin... Let the seasonal charges of Nepotism be damned! 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3846 It seems like we're going through a rough patch right now. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3847 I had to let Judas go. He was getting a little soft in the head. 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
3848 We must arrive at a decision before November 1st. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3849 Good-pie, everyone! 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3850 Gentlemen, what have you heard about all our female employees making pies? 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3851 You all have appointments with HR right after this.. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3852 The good news is orders for pumpkin pies are at record levels . The bad news is this year’s harvest has been very disappointing. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3853 Time to put a new face on Halloween, fellas! 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3854 Chairmen of the Gourd 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3855 Let's try to wrap this up before Halloween. 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
3856 This year let's not leave our heads on peoples porches without their permission. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3857 No worries, guys! No squirrels on the 25th floor! 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
3858 Don't you love the smell of my Goop candle? 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3859 Beware! Starbucks baristas are at it again this year pushing their pumpkin spice lattes. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3860 I’m thinking we lighten things up this quarter. 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
3861 Now all we need is some seed funding… 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3862 Pumpkin spice year-round, that is our mission, gentlegourds 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3863 Does anyone have a skeleton in their closet? 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3864 Here we are deep in our fourth quarter, yet none of you knows a word to rhyme with 'orange.' 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3865 Since we’re all going to rot during the next few weeks, I suggest we immediately donate our heads to any one of some five thousand pie-making aunties on the list my assistants have compiled. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3866 October was a smash! How does our November forecast look? 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3867 It’s time for a changing of the gourd. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3868 I just thought it was our bread. Why, what is in it? 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3869 DEI committee meets to discuss who should be the new face of the company. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3870 Sales have been way down this summer. As a result, Head Office will require A LOT more from each of you this fall. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3871 We project that our competition will be squashed out by end-of-month. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3872 Internally, you are all getting fired next week. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
3873 The good news is we now have enough for five pumpkin pies. 1.2027 0.06079 74 63 7 4
3874 If our trick-to-treat ratio drops any lower this year I am warning you that heads will roll. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3875 Now let's not loose our heads over this. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3876 Anybody in the mood for some homemade pumpkin pie? 1.2027 0.04705 74 59 15 0
3877 My fellow directors, we are looking at a bad week ahead. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
3878 Our revenue shortfalls are stemming from one division. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
3879 And next month’s dress code will be Thanksgiving turkeys. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3880 The recommendation of the diversity committee was not universally loved. 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
3881 We had a great season, but now we must economize; unfortunately, some heads are going to roll. 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
3882 To meet our 2022 corporate diversity goals, we will be replacing half of you with historically underrepresented groups including gourds, squashes, and cantaloupes. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
3883 Shut up pumpkin head. I was talking to pumpkin head 12 1.2027 0.06079 74 63 7 4
3884 Human resources assures me that this will facilitate frank and candid discussion. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
3885 Headless just called. He needs 10 jack-o’-lanterns in Sleepy Hollow tonight. 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
3886 So it's settled.., carrots will be the IT item for trick-or-treaters! 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3887 Bangers’n’mash tonight? 1.2027 0.04705 74 59 15 0
3888 and I’m excited to announce for lunch we have a delicious pumpkin pie 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
3889 @newyorkercartoons “let’s see what else we can carve out of our employee benefits for more profits.” 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3890 Jack,Jack,Jack,Jack,Jack,Jack,Jack,Jack,Jack,Jack - thank you for coming to our annual gourd meeting. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
3891 Who will volunteer to be the pie this year? 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
3892 I wish all of you could share my joy. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
3893 Now, there's a rumor going around that some of you are unhappy about our new line of carving tools 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
3894 The first quarter outlook should have us all feeling mushy. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
3895 All this talk and we still don’t know Jack. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
3896 Thanks to our new diversity initiative equal advancement opportunities will be given to our gourd and turnip employees as well. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
3897 Listen up, bucko’s, it’s time for a paradigm change, our first non-orange pumpkinhead starts next Tuesday. 1.2025 0.06077 79 68 6 5
3898 So, today i thought we could scare the others her at the office. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3899 I'm not making a face at anyone. I'm just rotting from the inside. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3900 No, Jerry…I don’t think it’s out of line to say the Pecan is the cause of all the world’s problems! 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
3901 On November 1, heads will mold. 1.2022 0.05577 89 76 8 5
3902 Hey guys, why the long faces? 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3903 We can keep it up until Christmas, and I promise we won’t be replaced! 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
3904 Time to weed out the patch. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
3905 No bonuses this year for anyone named Jack 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3906 We need to reduce headcount... Send in the squirrels. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
3907 No one can hold a candle to our illumination division. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
3908 You heard me right, next year I want those decorations for sale on July 5th. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
3909 Let's try thinking outside the pumpkin patch. 1.2000 0.06565 55 46 7 2
3910 That must have been one hell of a Halloween Office Party. Does anyone know why we still have carved pumpkins on our heads? 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
3911 Who's got some news that will really light my fire? 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
3912 Jack-O-Lantern requests all his pumpkin heads, to salt themselves before going to sleep for the winter. 1.2000 0.05443 55 44 11 0
3913 I am pleased to say, after Halloween there will still be 10 of you sitting at the table. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3914 You all look like I’ve squashed your dreams 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3915 Enough of the pie for . . . EVERYONE! 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
3916 The good news is we only need ten of us to donate seeds for next years crop. 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
3917 My 1 to your 10, I guess I win since I am chairman of the gourd. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3918 The time is right. Heads will roll. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
3919 Can I call you Liz for short? 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3920 He cant hold a candle to the old boss 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
3921 Hi. My name is Peter Peter. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
3922 Maybe next year we can just share a bowl of candy corn 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
3923 So, here’s the plan, when Jack comes in, everyone yell “ Dad!” This is going to be hilarious! 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
3924 Unpopular decision at the annual gourd meeting 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3925 Diversity as we all know, is over rated. 1.2000 0.06565 55 46 7 2
3926 The board has agreed we'll slice up the bonus pie on a basis of how free of mold you are by close of quarter on 31 December. 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
3927 OK. We're all here to patch things up, right? 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
3928 Of course no one is more devastated by this news than I am, and I can assure you .... 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
3929 My hostile takeover will make everyone here rich - a classic Trick AND Treat. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
3930 I believe we are now positioned to squash the competition. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
3931 You're out of your gourds if you think you're getting bonuses in this economy. 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
3932 Threaten to emit greenhouse gas. That might scare them away. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3933 This entire department has been laid off starting on November 1. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
3934 I wanted to carve out time to thank you for your hard work this year. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3935 The Board voted on McKinsey's proposal and approved the change. We're going with the Jill O'Lantern strategy... 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
3936 The good news is the gourd market is in worse shape that we are. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3937 I chair the Treats Committee, Henderson, because I am smiling. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
3938 What do you think Jack? 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
3939 You all did a great job welcoming trick or treaters for Halloween. Now it’s time to talk about Thanksgiving pumpkin pie. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3940 Teacher, what makes you think we should be happy on Halloween? Don't we just get trashed the next day? 1.2000 0.06565 55 46 7 2
3941 Before I start the meeting, let me just say you all look Gourdgeous... 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
3942 Which of you brainless idiots carved out this meeting? 1.2000 0.04650 75 60 15 0
3943 Our season is coming to an end, any ideas on how we can boost our sales? 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3944 Bored of Halloween 1.2000 0.06625 70 61 4 5
3945 As you know, we want to promote our own 'flavour' of corporate synergy to our new partners, so we'll need volunteers to relocate to the expanded office on Arrakis. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
3946 Only those of you named Jack are fired. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
3947 Smithers, of all the empty-headed ideas, yours has got to be the emptiest. 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
3948 Listen people: Q4 is all about attitude. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
3949 Your fear makes me smile. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3950 There will come a day when we are all will soft in the head. 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
3951 Due to supply-chain issues, they'll be using us again next year. So, hydrate, everyone. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3952 I'm sorry to inform you that the hostile take over by Nabisco's Pie Division has just gone through. 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
3953 And in conclusion, gentlemen, I can assure you that, if sales don't improve by the end of the quarter, heads will roll! 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3954 I'm afraid some of you are not carved out for a career in lighting. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
3955 The first to say "spice" ends up in the hippo pond. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3956 Who doesn’t like my new veneers? 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
3957 OK, it's agreed. Our next product rollouts will be pumpkin spice toothpaste, mouthwash and dental floss. 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
3958 Oh lighten up, y'all. Obviously the pumpkin spice lattes don't contain any actual pumpkin. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
3959 It gets better ... next month we stick our heads up turkey butts! 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
3960 The board has requested a growth strategy for the remaining 50 weeks of the fiscal year. 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
3961 Why do you all look so frightened? You're smashing it this quarter. 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
3962 Each year at Halloween we honor an elected member to feed the rest of us a tasty pie. 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
3963 I can see that we are of one mind, gentlemen; the eyes have it! 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3964 I see not EVERYONE is cut out for this job. 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
3965 As a reminder, this is the time of the year for all of us to avoid going into a Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
3966 Come on now, I’d like to see a little enthusiasm. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
3967 Oh, dear ... looks like this meeting can use some spicing up! 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
3968 I'm smiling because I had my secretary take all of the gunk out of my pumpkin. 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
3969 Anyone want a latte? 1.2000 0.04500 80 64 16 0
3970 Wasn't this fun? Next month we'll do this again, but with turkeys! 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
3971 Now that we're all here, we can start the gourd meeting. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
3972 Of course there's risk. But we are not squash! 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3973 OK, we got the low-hanging fruit. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
3974 We’re smashing our sales goals 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3975 Yes it’s true. There will be no dental coverage offered this year. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
3976 I have a smashing idea for you. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3977 We want this to be a smashing success. Any volunteers? 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
3978 You all look so glum. Adding squirrels to our board will open your eyes and turn your frowns up-side-down. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3979 Investors are spooked and our demeanor isn’t helping. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
3980 I see we've made no progress on our diversity initiative. 1.2000 0.06565 55 46 7 2
3981 The Gourd of Directors!!! 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
3982 And if we don’t meet our quarterly profit expectations at the end of the month this time, I swear, heads will roll!! 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3983 After the acquisition of Peter & Peter is complete we’ll finally have eliminated all competition. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3984 It's time to reimagine our business model. We don't need a bigger piece of the pie,we need a bigger pie! 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3985 The big day is upon us. Let's turn those frowns upside down! 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3986 On the plus side, it’s only about another week before the rot starts to take over. 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
3987 at least they allow us to have that in-person interaction I’ve heard so much about 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
3988 Isn't genetics great! 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
3989 Some heads are gonna roll. 1.2000 0.05714 50 40 10 0
3990 Let's have an office party on Halloween and all get smashed! 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
3991 I am now head. 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
3992 Anyone in favor of pumpkin pie? 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
3993 Great news...human spiced latte sales are through the roof! 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
3994 I hate to bring you this news, but the board decided to cancel the field trip to Sleepy Hollow. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
3995 Sorry, but in our effort to downsize, most of you will be on the dessert menu today. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
3996 Look fellas, we need more diversity. 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
3997 We need to carve out a new business strategy. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
3998 Mind me picking your brains for seeds of inspiration on this new project? 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
3999 Now, it’s not that bad…don’t look so down in the mouth. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
4000 Glad I wasn't the only one who worked past midnight last night. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
4001 Do I see some smiles that need re-carving? 1.2000 0.06565 55 46 7 2
4002 ......Welcome Jacks to our first Gourd Meeting without having to wear those annoying masks...... 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4003 The good news is we'll have a fire marshal aboard at all times when Hanukkah rolls around. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4004 Smile and your employees smile with you." Elon Musk 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
4005 Welcome to the annual Pumpkin Head Board of Directors Meeting. Why am I the only member. 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
4006 Halloween night assignments: Irv - 77th street and Madison, Baxter - 14 street and 7th avenue, Teddy - 161 street and Grand Concourse .. 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
4007 The good news is it's pumpkin spice season again. The bad news is there's a pumpkin shortage. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4008 Remember, my great-great-grandaddy started this company with only one bridge and a dream. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
4009 As Elon was saying, ‘Really, the only thing that makes sense is to strive for greater collective enlightenment.’ 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4010 Gentlemen, hold on to your lids. We were just bought by Sara Lee. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
4011 POV: The need to incorporate other seasonal squash into the board room. 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
4012 The gourd of directors told us to SQUASH the competition. I intend to take that literally. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
4013 This is a homegrown business. It’s time to step up to the plate! 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
4014 Pumpkin punch for the economy - pumpkins don’t get to go home for Halloween! 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
4015 Before we get a head of ourselves 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
4016 I’m afraid you’ve all been demoted to Jack O’ Interns. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
4017 We’re merging with acorn squash 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
4018 I know that times are tough, gentlemen, but this is no time to lose our heads. 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
4019 I say, let’s reap the puree this year from this booming inflation rate. 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
4020 Executive Boardroom Diversity Committee “men, we hit this one out of the park” 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
4021 I’m sorry to say this department will have to be further gutted… 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
4022 Unfortunately, due to rising inflation, some of you will not be lit this year. 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
4023 The Patch utterly squashed us this quarter” 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
4024 HR has told me our employee health plan now covers symptoms of lightheadedness. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
4025 Gentlemen, we have to get ahead of this Halloween season. 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4026 We need to cut costs, starting with the heads 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
4027 Gentlemen, I have three words for you - Light. Emitting. Diodes. 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
4028 Why the grim faces, its our one time of year to shine. 1.2000 0.06305 70 60 6 4
4029 I can assure you our merger with Thanksgiving will have minimal impact on our culture! Now then, who wants to be pumpkin pie? 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
4030 All right team, our mindfulness capacities have been running on empty recently. 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
4031 Sorry team, but I've got some news that will rip your guts out. 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
4032 I regret to inform you that your seasonal employment is coming to an end. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
4033 Thrilled to announce that this year’s holiday bonuses will be paid out in candy corn! 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
4034 So going forward, it will be Pumpkin Spice season all year-round, EXCEPT in October. 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
4035 I want you all to join me in welcoming Lisa to our team. 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
4036 Yes, the CEO’s plans to cut headcount even includes this section. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
4037 Great news. Mariah’s agreed to do a remix to boost sales at the patches. Get ready for “All I Haunt for Halloween is You. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
4038 We've decided to branch out into durians. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
4039 If shareholders want a slice of the pie,heads will roll. 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
4040 Please stay calm, I’ve been informed there is a group of squirrels that have moved into the office space upstairs 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
4041 I'm glad to see everyone has there heads on straight about the merger. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
4042 Elon.Musk has just bought our website. Heads will roll! 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
4043 It’s so good to see all your happy faces again! 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
4044 OK, next on the agenda is our Halloween party. Who's bringing the pumpkin pie? Of course, that means we won't be seeing you next year but..... 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
4045 When I look at you, I see Pumpkin Spice Latte 1.1974 0.05929 76 65 7 4
4046 Sorry Jack, numbers don't lie, we're down over and million Department Heads again this fall. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
4047 Upon review, it seems none of you are cut out to be good will ambassadors. 1.1974 0.05929 76 65 7 4
4048 I'm afraid this company is going to seed. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
4049 All in favor of smashing Karl’s head say aye 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
4050 It's official, I bought Twitter. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
4051 You're probably wondering why I've called this Gourd Meeting. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
4052 Twitter’s remaining board members meeting in secrecy to discuss toilet papering Elon’s car 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
4053 Last week Bumkin, this week Pumkin, next week Funkin!" 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
4054 I guess we spooked the market. 1.1974 0.04596 76 61 15 0
4055 Patch work meeting 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
4056 I've got a bright new idea for improving worker morale. 1.1974 0.04596 76 61 15 0
4057 So, what else do you got? 1.1974 0.05929 76 65 7 4
4058 This year’s theme is Werewolf of Wall Street. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
4059 Santa Claus just became our largest stakeholder 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
4060 So which of you is Peter, Peter, Pumpkin-Eater? 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
4061 Once again I'm pushing for a lot more sweet potato pies!!! 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
4062 Turn those frowns upside down, 4th quarter sales gonna turn us around. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
4063 Good morning Jack, Jack, Jack….Thanks for coming in. Congratulations, you've been handpicked for this year's pumpkin pie eating contest. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
4064 We'll all end up as compost in November no matter what. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
4065 I'll be glad when pumpkinhead theme week is over 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
4066 Being a boss isn't the same as being a leader. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
4067 This feels like a witch hunt. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
4068 Have you seen the Christmas budget? It's a nightmare 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
4069 Halloween is here and you are all about to be smashed! 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
4070 It's time for a major corporate image face lift. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
4071 The good news is we just got bought by Starbucks. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
4072 We need to continue our radical thinking for Thanksgiving and Christmas. How do turkeys and Santa hats sound to all of you? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
4073 It’s time to tell the world the whole story about Peter Pumpkineater’s . . . 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
4074 Some of our stockholders are complaining that this board has a biodiversity problem." Stephen Clark, Richmond, Va. 1.1972 0.04755 71 57 14 0
4075 I regret to announce that further restructuring is necessary and will require additional carveouts. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
4076 This Halloween will be a celebration of our diversity." 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
4077 Time to carve out a patch for ourselves. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
4078 I had some great ideas in my head last week but they seem to have vanished. Anyone else feeling something similar? 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
4079 I went ahead and carved the time in your calendars. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
4080 They always say two heads are better than one,but this is ridiculous! 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
4081 We will be cutting overhead starting October 1st 1.1972 0.04755 71 57 14 0
4082 Okay— now, head out to the North Fork and see how many traffic jams you can create. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
4083 You're all fired, effective November 1. 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
4084 The good new's is that we are having pumpkin pie for dessert, the bad new's is we no longer have an intern. 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
4085 Phew, quite a party last night. My head feels like mush. 1.1970 0.04933 66 53 13 0
4086 I see HR's insistence on diversity hasn't been mere tokenism! 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
4087 Once again our season is here, let’s make it a smashing success! 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
4088 Am I the only one who's crying on the inside? 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
4089 Our client needs jack’O’lanterns, any volunteers? 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
4090 Unfortunately, lobotomy stocks are plummeting. 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
4091 We didn’t raise the seed money so you’re all getting the chop. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4092 I invited you to the gourdroom today to discuss our profit and loss margins. 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
4093 Believe it when I say, we are NOT just a bunch country bumpkins! 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4094 We're diversifying into baked goods. 1.1970 0.04933 66 53 13 0
4095 As part of our DEI efforts, we are adding a gourd to the board. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4096 The resolution has passed. No more smiley faces on Halloweeen pumpkins 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4097 Sure, it’s selling out, But ‘Trumpkin’ is gold! 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4098 What a treat to have you all back in the office. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4099 Of course I don't need to remind you gentlemen that our commitment to diversity is the envy of our competition. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4100 Sorry, not one of you is cut out for upper management. 1.1970 0.06556 66 57 5 4
4101 All in favor, call the carver 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
4102 I hate to inform you that Peter Peter will be returning 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4103 This year we are expecting Kit Kats to outperform Reese’s by 0.3% 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4104 But the good news is, one of you will be selected for a pumpkin pie! 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
4105 Well, pumpkin-heads of the world, we’ve united. Now what? 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4106 Yes, electric pumpkins are the future of Halloween!! You're all fired!! 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
4107 We've acquired Old Spice and are rebranding as Pumpkin Spice! 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
4108 did anyone get ALL your seeds out? 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
4109 I’m proud that we are progressive on diversity, equity and inclusion!” David Helle 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4110 What’s he smiling about? 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4111 We just can’t have this many Jack O’ Lanterns at the firm, our clients are getting confused 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
4112 this pumpkin spice craze has become an annihilation of our species 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
4113 We've been through a rough patch, but you're due for a treat. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4114 Well, Jacks, I’m afraid pumpkin pie season is upon us. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4115 I expect everyone to resign on November 1 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4116 Everyone who wants pumpkin spice raise your hand. 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4117 The Good News: Diversity is coming to O'Lantern Industries. The Bad News: You're all fired. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4118 Like all great businesses, ours rots from the head. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4119 Let's get lit after this meeting, any takers? 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4120 OK boys,hearing no objections,we’ll make Monday a corporate holiday. 1.1967 0.06537 61 52 6 3
4121 My grandfather, Jack O'Lantern, left his native Ireland as a mere gourd, barely scraping by until he developed the concept that brings us here today. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4122 Q4 numbers are in. There is truly nothing scarier than becoming a corporate sellout. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4123 "On the upside, we've never been more in demand." 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4124 I'm selling the family business 1.1967 0.06537 61 52 6 3
4125 Our competition has been squashed! 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4126 and for dessert,pumpkin pie! 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4127 Ok, thanks for coming as you all know someone has to rep the reception area. I thought Gord did a great job last year defining the essence of the season. So with that said, are we pulling licorice straws or drawing jelly beans? 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4128 I need someone to cover the annual pumpkin chuckin' contest. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4129 .... and to think we started this banner year with a seed of an idea. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4130 The good news is you’ll all be getting a bag of free candy this year… 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4131 OK, the new CFO will be Pumpkinhead! 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4132 Don't look so glum When business is this bad, heads must roll 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4133 As you know, yesterday the press referred to the management team as 'seed-for-brains'. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4134 This year don’t swallow the candles” 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4135 Well, it's clearly not going to be easy to turn that frown upside down this week... 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4136 Good to see your eyes light up! 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4137 By unanimous vote, the corporate retreat will be in Sleepy Hallow. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4138 I'm going to proceed with the mass firing. There's nothing inside your heads! 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4139 Thanks everyone for carving some time out of your schedule! 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4140 What I would like to see this afternoon is a flicker— just a flicker of an idea in someone’s eyes. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4141 Work overtime or heads will roll! 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4142 Why all the faces? 1.1967 0.06537 61 52 6 3
4143 Let's get down to business, clearly we don't have much time. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4144 What do you think they mean by ‘smash the patriarchy’? 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4145 We need to distance ourselves from one of the following evils: Witches, vampires or Kanye West. What's it gonna be??? 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4146 I'm pleased to announce that our corporate takeover of Santa's Workshop was a complete success. Now on to the projected numbers for Mischief Night... 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4147 Although I'll never truly fill Jack O's shoes, I'm thrilled to continue his legacy. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
4148 My God! You all have pumpkins for heads! 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
4149 Pie,anyone? 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
4150 My wife insisted I smile for this year’s fall season, gentlegourds 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
4151 With our new company motto, "smile", it looks like some heads will roll. 1.1957 0.07369 46 39 5 2
4152 It’s obvious that none of you are cut out to do this job! 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
4153 Now who is just a figurehead ? 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
4154 Whose stupid idea was it to greenlight 'Halloween Ends?' 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
4155 Gentlemen, we've introduced the gender quota. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
4156 Wonderful, wonderful, we're all on the same page. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
4157 Yes,I know these things are smelly and gross on the inside. But,keep them on till the group photo after the board meeting. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
4158 We're skipping halloween this year to get a head-start on Christmas. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
4159 Pumpkin-spice of course... it's a no-brainer! 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
4160 I think we need more yes-men on the board. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
4161 We are gathered here today to reveal the pumpkin seed paternity results of the late jack-o'-lantern. As many of you suspected, it is a bigly announcement... 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
4162 Pumpkin Bobbleheads 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
4163 Truth is that we're all afraid of each other." 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
4164 While these measures may seem draconian at first, I promise that they are only designed to light a fire in each of you. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
4165 And so, my friends and associates, put on a happy face. It may be your last one. 1.1948 0.04543 77 62 15 0
4166 Let’s put our heads together 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
4167 I’m stepping down as CEO. Fortunately, we have our succession plan in place. 1.1948 0.04543 77 62 15 0
4168 We've hit a rough patch but not to worry gentlemen, they're saying cuts should start from the bottom. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
4169 I'm sorry, fellas, but the board just voted. "Being spooky" isn't paying the bills, we're turning all of you into pie filling. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
4170 This year we're going to "fun size" everyone's bonuses. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
4171 With the numbers as they are I expect some head smashing after the holiday. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
4172 Okay, hear me out... Human spiced lattes. 1.1948 0.04543 77 62 15 0
4173 Mark my words, we'll be crushing 'em by mid-November. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
4174 Any Pumpkin daring to vote me off the Board will be squashed!" - CE 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
4175 The company is bankrupt, and I’ve slipped you all deadly nightshade 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
4176 I am very happy to announce that I will remain Chairman of the Gourd. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
4177 Believe me, heads will roll if 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
4178 All those in favor of voting to only create apple pies instead of pumpkin pies! 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
4179 I've got something important to show you... 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
4180 From now on there will be no spice in your lives. 1.1944 0.04697 72 58 14 0
4181 Good news folks - demand for pumpkin pie has skyrocketed. Unfortunately, this means you're all getting canned" 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
4182 We're here to discuss the more friendly face we want to put on our organization this season. 1.1944 0.04697 72 58 14 0
4183 I’ve carved out a bright future for us, boys! 1.1944 0.04697 72 58 14 0
4184 Well, we can’t all Go by Jack! 1.1944 0.04697 72 58 14 0
4185 A secret ballot would be a lot more practical! 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
4186 We escaped being cooked, but the future looks spooky. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
4187 I've invited you all here to address the current candle shortage and what can be done about it. 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
4188 This outfit needs guts! And we don't have any... 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
4189 ABC. Always. Be. Carving. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
4190 We are going in a new direction. This is your last Halloween. 1.1944 0.04697 72 58 14 0
4191 And now to elect the gourd of directors 1.1944 0.04697 72 58 14 0
4192 And yes, you have to wear a costume to the Halloween party this year. 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
4193 Corporate says if we don’t cut costs by the 31st, heads will roll. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
4194 Let’s put our heads together on this. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
4195 I'm afraid we're going to have to put our heads together over this seed shortage. 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
4196 To recap, our new smile initiative kicks off immediately! 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
4197 Great news--we're going to merge with spice! 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
4198 We are thinking of Sleepy Hollow for the offsite this year 1.1944 0.04697 72 58 14 0
4199 Who is responsible for DEIB here? 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
4200 Call me Jack. 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
4201 Group mind 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
4202 First order of business, thank you everyone for leaving your skeletons in thr closet this year 1.1944 0.06141 72 62 6 4
4203 this meeting is looking a little hallow today 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4204 We are being sued by Donald Trump for infringing his portrait rights 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4205 Orange you pumped to hear our quarterly sales report? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4206 Ms Hedley, please send Peter in. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4207 Am I the only one not spooked by our earnings report? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4208 Gentlemen, it is time to make a pie. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4209 ...And then...we make pies. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4210 Everyone declare your favorite pie. I’ll start. Pumpkin. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4211 Mm, yes, mm, very serious, mm. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4212 As you know, when I say, “heads will roll,” I mean it. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4213 It's SO tempting to smash your heads! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4214 Can someone carve me an angry face? I'm ready to squash this deal. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4215 Business is as usual this year: We carve out a hefty profit in October, and November is easy as pie. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4216 Our corporate strategy only works for one month each year. Your mission is to expand the market for carved gourds throughout the entire year. Get to work. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4217 We're merely pumpkin heads! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4218 we have lost many but this day shall pass. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4219 Gentlemen, I'm smiling now, but wait until you see my candle lit. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4220 And the good news is that your bonuses will be paid in candy corn. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4221 How can we break into the Christmas market? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4222 We always have been and will be a "Fruit". 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4223 I'm afraid there won't be any Halloween bonuses this year 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4224 Could ya'll at least try to look a bit more pumped up!? 1.1940 0.06464 67 58 5 4
4225 You can be all lit up for Halloween, but after that you will be cut up and left to rot. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4226 For Christmas, we'll all be reindeers!" 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4227 Gentlemen, it appears you do not approve the proposal to introduce diversity in company management. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4228 Item 1. The Botox isn’t working; we’re looking into that. Item 2. I can’t call all of you “Jack.” 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4229 I accept what you all say at face value, but I still find it very scary. 1.1940 0.06464 67 58 5 4
4230 Our latest coffee chain acquisition means heads will roll 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4231 Hmmm, I had hoped for a better reaction to my announcement that the company is providing funding for "Patch Adams II." 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4232 More tricks and less treats . . . our whole business is based on scarcity. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4233 Are they really necessary? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4234 The new Twitter Board of directors meet for the first time. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4235 I squashed your salaries” 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4236 It's called Christmas. Trust me, gentlemen, you will like it. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4237 . I think we’ve carved out enough ideas…it’s time to roll the dough. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4238 Elon,..is that you? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4239 Welcome to today's Gourd Meeting. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4240 So… which one of you doesn’t believe in ghosts? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4241 3 out of 4 surveys reply oh my gosh when told that a pumpkin is just a big squash. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4242 C’mon … use your heads, guys. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4243 No, we won’t be raising the latte price to weather the recession. Any other questions? 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4244 It’s our time again, boys. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4245 Welcome to the annual Gourd of Directors Meeting 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4246 First, a moment of silence for Jack, who got snuffed last night. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4247 We’re running short on spice. 1.1935 0.05058 62 50 12 0
4248 If you think the numbers are bad, just wait till we’re alight! 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4249 I'm afraid some heads will roll 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4250 Things are tight this year, so I'm dropping our Dental Plan. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4251 Fellows, there are a pumpkin head among us. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4252 Hey!….. Who carved all these glum faces? 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4253 I've come up with a holiday that will raise our status above all other squashes. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4254 Only I am getting a candle...Bwa-ha-ha-ha-haaw. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4255 Would one of you like to be our new Diversity Officer? 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4256 Remember to bring your candle for tomorrow 1.1935 0.05058 62 50 12 0
4257 All right now. All at once. What's your favorite holiday 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4258 Glowing reviews this year, team. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4259 Just how many of you bozos does it take to make a decent pie chart?! 1.1935 0.05058 62 50 12 0
4260 I have some bad news for all of you.... PETER is back in town! 1.1935 0.05058 62 50 12 0
4261 Marketing has informed me that Pumpkin Spice has transitioned from a seasonal to a year-round flavor. 1.1935 0.06438 62 53 6 3
4262 According to HR, our staff has been hollowed out by the new pie filling plant across town. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
4263 I’m pleased to convene this annual meeting of the gourd of directors. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4264 I expect an immediate upturn in attitude on this board. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4265 We'll be making some seasonal job cuts next month. 1.1935 0.05058 62 50 12 0
4266 The potato heads are interested. I’ve scheduled a union consolidation meeting for later this week 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4267 I regret to inform you, in a few days several of you will be smashed. The remainder will slowly rot away 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4268 What shall we do about this young upstart Ichabod? 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4269 Williams, that's enough empty-headed suggestions. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4270 Unfortunately, as a corporate raider, this Peter Peter guy is known to have an appetite for companies like ours. 1.1935 0.05058 62 50 12 0
4271 For November, I propose turkeys to replace the pumpkins. Who’ll second that? 1.1935 0.05058 62 50 12 0
4272 - so who's turn to present I see all your face are excited 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4273 I’m happy to report that we’ve squashed the competition this year. Really smashed ‘em …. What? What did I say? 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4274 How has this group activity changed your perspective? 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4275 And they keep saying groupthink is bad for business… 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4276 Look alive everyone, Elon’s here. 1.1935 0.05058 62 50 12 0
4277 Don't mistake the glow in my eyes, gentlemen, after this season we're headed straight to the curb. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4278 You've all been burning the candle at both ends! 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4279 And that’s why we build morale and why you will like it. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4280 Thanks for carving out time to meet today… 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4281 The good news is, you'll all soon begin to rot. 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
4282 Gentlemen, it's time for another seed round. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
4283 The lantern and pie factories need volunteers 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4284 Just call me Jack. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4285 I don't think we like your idea about the wax candles, sir. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4286 The Cucumber Spice Latte isn't catching on. Any other ideas? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4287 This meeting could have been virtual but Mr. O’Lantern can be a real Jack around the holidays 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4288 The Candy Corns voted you out for a more colorful board. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4289 So after all this, it turns out you really don't know Jack! 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4290 You may have heard rumors, but we promise you: No layouts until Thanksgiving” 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4291 I swear, I asked for coffees, not pumpkin spice lattes. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4292 Due to supply chain issues, you are all being transferred to our pie production facilities. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4293 As Chairman of the Gourd, I want your resignations so that I can seat a more freshly-picked set of Patch members. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4294 So,the board says we need to step up our diversity efforts . . . 1.1930 0.07271 57 50 3 4
4295 We’re kicking off a new tradition this year! Instead of a holiday pizza party, we’ll be having a pumpkin spice latte party! 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4296 Due to inflation and in order to get back to our roots, next week we're switching to turnips 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4297 Our spook numbers our falling. Apparently we’re what the kids are calling ‘camp.’ 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
4298 Now I know these cuts are scary, but you know how this time of year gets. 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
4299 Looks like everyone's ready to carve out a deal. 1.1923 0.06748 52 44 6 2
4300 Gentlemen, we must focus on more diversity and inclusion if this company is going to survive the winter 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
4301 Guys, let’s face it, we’re getting butchered 1.1923 0.06748 52 44 6 2
4302 No, the lattes don't actually have pumpkin. So really the merger is a win-win. 1.1923 0.06164 52 43 8 1
4303 For reasons of optics,I recommend we hire Jill O 1.1923 0.05519 52 42 10 0
4304 Who knows Jack? 1.1923 0.06164 52 43 8 1
4305 For this year’s inaugural “Times Square Spookerama” kickoff, we’ll all be dressing retro…. Matching Madras shirts and pants… 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
4306 Who's ready for pie? 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
4307 We've been acquired by a firm from a town called Sleepy Hollow. 1.1923 0.06748 52 44 6 2
4308 I’ve just heard from marketing that we’re re-branding as indigenous fruits! 1.1923 0.05787 78 67 7 4
4309 Now isn’t this better than an office party? 1.1923 0.05519 52 42 10 0
4310 And per the inclusivity plan, no more pie charts. 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
4311 . “ I’ll say it again, if you don’t get it right this time, heads will roll and it won’t be pretty.” 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
4312 I'm not happy about declining profits either, but this is how I was carved. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
4313 Can anyone say we are not diverse. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
4314 Good news! Our research department has determined the value of pumpkin pi! 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
4315 The downsizing is set. Heads will roll on November first! 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
4316 Let's vote on deleting the word 'nepotism' from our bylaws. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
4317 oranje gourd,naranja 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
4318 Cheer up! Our new health plan covers dentures. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
4319 If we are going to succeed as a company we need some bright ideas. Whose got a match? 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
4320 But the bad news is, you’ll all be out of a job by the end of the month. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
4321 This year gentlemen we do tricks, no treats 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
4322 You were just cut out to be glum. 1.1918 0.05740 73 62 8 3
4323 Despite the fact that many of you have lost close friends and family our Pumpkin Spice Latte is selling gangbusters. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
4324 Let’s carve up the quarter results 1.1918 0.04640 73 59 14 0
4325 A moment of silence for last year's rotted pumpkinheads. 1.1918 0.04640 73 59 14 0
4326 Unfortunately, we’re going to reduce headcount on November 1. 1.1918 0.05740 73 62 8 3
4327 Team, corporate announced today that our new customer experience concept is "you're never fully dressed without a smile." Unfortunately, we will have to be letting a few of you go. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
4328 . . .and to those of you who have survived the cuts. . . 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
4329 It’s true, these new regulations are frightening, but we believe there may be some carve-outs. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
4330 And with that I will now turn the meeting over to Jack 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
4331 I know you all like to work from home, but we have to come in for the Gourd Meeting. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4332 I've decided to fire everybody named "Jack". 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4333 It's come to my attention that someone has been jacking their lantern in the office. 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
4334 We must all be from West Virginia—none of us have more than three teeth. 1.1912 0.06375 68 59 5 4
4335 Did no one see my text that this would be MY Halloween costume? 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4336 We have way too many 'Jack O'Lanterns' at this company so the rest of you will have to change your names. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4337 The question is: how do we maintain record high profits with a diminishing workforce? 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4338 Hey Jack, stop jackin' around. I know you didn't know Jackie O. 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
4339 I call this meeting of the Bi-Partisan Gutless Politician Society to order. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4340 Come November, who knows how many of us will still be sitting at this table. 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
4341 In the interest of our shareholders, all benefits accrued during our recent growth period will be deferred until the end of the year. 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
4342 We are being accused of insufficient diversity! 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4343 These recent reports claiming that we all came from the same patch need to be squashed immediately. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4344 Looks like some of us woke up on the wrong side of the knife this morning. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4345 In my absence, Peter-Peter will assume control of the Board. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4346 As part of my hostile takeover of your company, I'm happy to announce there will be many beheadings on Halloween day! 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4347 I wanted you all to see how it looks when you turn that frown upside down. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4348 Have I got something that will put a smile on your gourds. 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
4349 Fellow pumpkins, the ghosts have taken over the buildings opposite us. The era of pumpkin domination is drawing to a close. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4350 Gentlemen, I'm afraid heads are going to roll. 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
4351 I told you corporate heads would change at midnight. 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
4352 I recommend we reject the offer. What do they take us for - zucchinis? 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4353 Our fourth quarter goal must be to stay ahead of the carve. 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
4354 Due to low productivity, I'm bringing in a few 15 year olds to break some heads. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4355 I’m glad you could carve out sometime for todays meeting 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
4356 We’ve seen an increase in sales this year, but as usual there will be casualties. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4357 So gentleman, let's discuss the new projections for 2023 at the Sleepy Hollow office. 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
4358 What we’re lacking in this office is Spirit! 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4359 Jack did you check Jack on that if not ask Jack I’m sure he knows and if no can Jack check on that please…Jack in the back quietly says this meeting is all Jacked Up! 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4360 Someone is spreading rot at this company from the inside out. Once I find out who, heads are going to roll. 1.1912 0.06375 68 59 5 4
4361 - Please light those candles and bring me ideas... 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4362 Jack o lantern of all trades 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4363 All right, you pumplkin heads. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
4364 Just because I’m the boss doesn’t mean I have a bigger brain. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4365 The truth is…it’s a tight squash! 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4366 Thank you all for coming today, my name is Frank, I'm your new Chairman of the Gourd 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4367 November 1 there will be a secret vote to send two of us to the county fair’s pumpkin catapult contest. The rest of us will be compost. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4368 Nobody’s going to be just a potted plant in this group. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4369 I'm sorry to report that Research concludes our lack of progeny is tied to seed scooping. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4370 Next week's dress code, seersucker. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4371 So I say to him “what ther’re no yes men in this organization…” 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
4372 …and so with that, confirming the Pillsbury acquisition will happen in November. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4373 ...and we're going to sit here until we're all a slimy pile of moldy goo if we have to. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4374 Today's agenda: equity carve-out. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4375 Changes require us to put on a brave face. 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
4376 The surgeon assured me the facelift would be subtle. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4377 So, it's unanimous, we will not be making a job offer to Peter Peter. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
4378 I have some news: We've been purchased by Starbucks! 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4379 The Halloween report wasn't that bad. Why all the grim faces? 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4380 Seeds for brains 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
4381 I expect you all to be nothing but smiles at our next meeting. 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
4382 Pumpkin promotion! 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4383 We are going to need more seed money to make this venture grow. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4384 I called this meeting to let you all know that because I'm the boss, I get to go by Jack. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4385 Our next program will be smashing! 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4386 -- "So, we've come to the last item on our agenda -- why can't any of you stop smiling 😡😡😖?" 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4387 Any ideas on how we rebrand to stay relevant year-round? I know sweet potatoes appealed to the health conscious. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4388 Gentlemen, we have a problem…. the electric hand mixer…. 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
4389 Gentlemen, our HR strategy this quarter is going to be : Trick or Trick 👻 #Halloween2Business 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4390 Great news! We now have a plan for year-round relevance! 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
4391 I propose we abolish the annual pumpkin carving contest. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
4392 It's not easy being the Great Pumpkin. I get calls from Charlie Brown all hours of the night. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
4393 My accounting report this month? #SquashGoals. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
4394 Christmas is coming early this year. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
4395 I’ve listened to all your ideas and decided to squash them all. 1.1899 0.05719 79 68 7 4
4396 I'm sorry to have to tell you, but you are just not cut out for this job. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
4397 I need some answers or heads will roll! 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
4398 When a meeting should've been an email. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
4399 Last on the agenda, remember this weekend is our annual Human Head carving contest! 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
4400 Participation in the holiday pie eating competition will be mandatory this year 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
4401 Jack O., can you share the report findings? 1.1899 0.04441 79 64 15 0
4402 Your severance begins November first. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4403 We need to have diversity in our ranks. 1.1897 0.05193 58 47 11 0
4404 Think different! Like George there" 1.1897 0.05193 58 47 11 0
4405 Gentlemen, while we are all shocked and saddened by the death of Mr. Van Pelt, I assure you that our prospective association with Miss Peppermint Patty and her friend will open new avenues of revenue previously unexplored. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
4406 While everything now looks great, I project by next month we'll be rotted to the core. 1.1897 0.06716 58 50 5 3
4407 It's time to get serious . .No one is taking us For Real anymore .. .Thanks to the trumpkin crowd 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
4408 Next Week we'll al convene with Linus to greet the Leader. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4409 The Pumpkin spice trend is getting out of hand! 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
4410 See you all at the annual Sleepy Hollow corporate retreat! 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4411 Motion squashed. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4412 I've hired Billy Corgan to write our company's new anthem 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4413 I’m pleased to report that our plans for world domination via the annual “pumpkin spice latte” program have exceeded our third quarter projections once again. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
4414 When the former president comes in we'll be able to assess if we got the spray tan color right. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
4415 Nepotism in the Boardroom 1.1897 0.06716 58 50 5 3
4416 We need diversity in this Board room- get a Christmas tree, an Easter Bunny, even a scarecrow will do. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
4417 Guess who isn't going to be smashed on the porch this year? 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4418 But in the short-term, we'll all be squirrel-gnawed mush. 1.1897 0.06716 58 50 5 3
4419 THERE WON'T BE ANY PUMPKIN PIES THIS YEAR 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
4420 As you might have guessed we'll be making some cuts this month. 1.1897 0.05193 58 47 11 0
4421 Where did you get the new smiley emoji? 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
4422 Smiling will give assurance to our stockholders, so they don’t lose their heads. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4423 Children, I’m leaving the company to Butternut, my illegitimate child. He’s more versatile and makes a damn fine soup. 1.1897 0.05193 58 47 11 0
4424 It's that time of the year again when we make a lot of money. I'm talking, of course, about dividends day. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
4425 You're all fired. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
4426 So just how big a piece of the market have we carved out? 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
4427 Seed production is down so we're turning our focus to our new product, pumpkin guts. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
4428 Now that you've made me Head Man in Charge, I'm replacing yours. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
4429 I need two volunteers for the high rise drop. This years volunteers are Smith and Jennings. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
4430 Long story short, Elon's taking over tweeting, not trick or treating. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
4431 Which one of you has volunteered to become a pie? 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
4432 And so this is why we unfortunately have to part with all the members of staff whose smile was carved upside down 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
4433 Heads will roll, my friends, and I mean that most literally. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
4434 I know we all had different interpretations of what a 25% reduction would look like… 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
4435 Let's circle back to this spooky budget 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
4436 Not everyone is cut out for this work, but… 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
4437 Despite the start to an excellent quarter, they’ve decided to replace us with a bunch of turkeys. 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
4438 Okay, who called me a jack-o'-lantern in the cafeteria the other day? 1.1887 0.05426 53 43 10 0
4439 Hal will now present his theory on stem research 1.1887 0.05426 53 43 10 0
4440 It's not funny. That's what's funny about it. 1.1887 0.05426 53 43 10 0
4441 Can anyone smell carrots? 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
4442 Unfortunately you all are just not cut out for this year's annual needs 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
4443 Oh c'mon! Smile, gentlemen! 1.1887 0.05426 53 43 10 0
4444 We need to attract a more cultivated clientele. 1.1887 0.05426 53 43 10 0
4445 I’m afraid this team lacks the necessary spice. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
4446 Don’t worry, the laser eye surgery is only to get these triangles more equilateral. 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
4447 Due to supply chain failures, we’ll need to start sourcing our own pumpkins for our pies. 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
4448 As the chair of the gourd of trustees, I think it's time we go big or gourd home. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4449 We cut your faces, now we’re cutting your healthcare. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4450 We only have about two weeks to put our plan in motion before we start to shrivel and rot. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4451 On the brighter side, the new health plan does cover pumpkinplasty for you and your covered dependents. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4452 Our top clients are dentists followed by candy manufacturers. We are trying to get parents on board. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4453 Trust me, I'm just as mad as you are. I'm just not carved to show it. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4454 In a market this competitive, we cannot simply carve ourselves a niche. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4455 In lieu of a dental plan, you'll all be receiving seasonal Starbuck's gift cards. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4456 The Board of Directors hereby changes our voting from "yea" or "nay" to "trick" or "treat". 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4457 And remember, never ever a pie chart. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4458 We usually have 12 at our meetings but Jack O'Lantern was simply burned out and couldn't make it. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4459 What's your problem? You'd all be smashed by the morning anyway. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4460 Okay, who couldn't keep their wife? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4461 Analysts say profits will be down next quarter. On the other hand, they don't know Jack. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4462 As chairman of the gourd I propose we carve out some time to review Jack’s empty-headed idea. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4463 Think of the opportunities if we branch out to Festivus. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4464 Good I'm glad everyone saw the memo over the weekend." 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4465 Great news,team! This year’s bonus will be another scented candle! 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4466 Our next project is a cure for resting pumpkin face. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4467 If you guys don’t get into the spirit of things I’ll have to knock a few heads together. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4468 The Pumpkin’s dozen. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4469 And I have decided to sell the firm to Starbuck’s Latte Division. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4470 Gentlemen, I’m looking for the Jack of all Trades. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4471 Stop complaining and think about this season as an opportunity to get rid of those not-so-loved ones! 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4472 I’d like to introduce Jack, our new Director of the Board of Diversity and Inclusion. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4473 I think if we all put our heads together we can come up with a good plan. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4474 You need to get your heads out of your asses. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4475 There’s going to be carvebacks across the field—from the ground to the gourdroom. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4476 I know we've gone through a rough patch, but let's keeps our heads screwed on and not get squashed this quarter. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
4477 It seems clear to me that some of the residents of Salem are less enthusiastic about the prospect of our new condominium project. 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
4478 All in favor of objecting to the carving of our heads raise your hand. 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
4479 Oh my gourd, is there anyone here with any guts? I’m carving up this committee, you’re all squashed! 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
4480 Hmmm... I really expected a more positive reaction to the idea of a new seed-funding initiative. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
4481 Alright, let's spice this up a little. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
4482 It’s time for the annual beheadings. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4483 Who'd like to kick off today's meeting with a smashing idea? 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4484 The numbers are not looking good. We need all heads on the deck! 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4485 do you want to know why I'm smiling? 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4486 Now will the real Jack O'Lantern please stand up? 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4487 Sales are down. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
4488 Then Peter wanted to go on the hay ride.. 1.1875 0.04391 80 65 15 0
4489 All those in favor of electing Summer Squash say aye. 1.1875 0.05693 48 39 9 0
4490 And Yes, the mask mandate remains in place for all in-office events. 1.1875 0.05693 48 39 9 0
4491 We are here to vote for this years Biggest Jack...s! I nominate Boris! And, I’m for Trump! I’m for Ted Cruz! Marco Rubioooo! 1.1875 0.05693 48 39 9 0
4492 Sorry about that cutting remark. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4493 Now who would like a piece of pumpkin pie? 1.1875 0.06635 64 56 4 4
4494 Treat costs are up so I expect you to double trick output. 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
4495 Trick or Treat? At least one of us looks happy... 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4496 Next item on the agenda is, smell my feet. 1.1875 0.05652 80 69 7 4
4497 Here's the pitch: Pumpkin Spice Girls gone Wild! 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4498 Our very special guest today will be Mr. Peter Peter. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4499 Jack-O-Lanterns, Halloween, and the utter boredom of work 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4500 I've decided the staff reduction plan will go into effect on Nov 1 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4501 We're all on borrowed time here. Let's turn out the lights and get lit... 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4502 Just wait until Thanksgiving. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4503 Finally we have some competent people at the table. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
4504 We’re safe! Pumpkin Spice latte is just orange dye #4. Happy Halloween! 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
4505 These declining sales numbers are starting to frighten me. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4506 As the head Pumpkin, I deplore you to consider more originality at next year's board meeting. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4507 You cleaned up okay, but what the hell happened at the p-patch? 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4508 . . . and the Research Division thanks us all for our help in testing the new Pumpkin Spice blend. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4509 We had an excellent October. Next month's profits will be robust with pumpkin pie sales after they replace all of us on the management team. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
4510 We're expanding into pumpkin pies. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4511 After review of last quarter’s candlestick patterns, I’ve decided we’re going electric. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4512 I just realised this joint is run by pumpkin heads!!! 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4513 For the sake of roll-call, we’ll need to assign you all a nickname 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4514 Effective November 1st, we’re transitioning to the pie market 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
4515 Everyone at this company has a pumpkin for a head instead of a human head for a head, which is obviously less than ideal. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4516 Jack of trades 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
4517 Carve those frowns off your faces— if the Table Talk acquisition goes well, you'll all get to be a piece of the pie. 1.1868 0.05162 91 78 9 4
4518 Good news is that the pumpkin heads are staying. Bad news... only happy pumpkins get bonuses. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
4519 What’s. for soup today 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
4520 It's the first movie about Pumpkinhead love. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
4521 We have a great deal to move our headquarters to Sleepy Hollow. 1.1867 0.04530 75 61 14 0
4522 The answer to the question, 'Why do humans: cut us open, rip out our insides, and put a candle in us?' Is, 'For fun!' 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
4523 I’ve been put in charge of this company to bring a positive outlook and to see that everyone gets a slice of the pie. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
4524 Well the turkeys voted for Christmas, so I take it we're all in favor of Halloween? 1.1867 0.04530 75 61 14 0
4525 Jack, "pumpkin spiced pumpkins?" Don't be ridiculous! 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
4526 Despite company policy,our big day is this month when we can all get lit. 1.1867 0.04530 75 61 14 0
4527 So, who’s up for a pumpkin latte? 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
4528 Gentlemen. Lend me your ears. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
4529 This years costume contest was a difficult decision… 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
4530 Gourd ahead! 1.1867 0.04530 75 61 14 0
4531 Sirs, one of you will have to pass a head at my daughter's Halloween party's. I need a volunteer 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
4532 Just a bit lower, sir, then a strong slice across. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4533 I'm as unhappy as you are, but I had a different carver. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4534 Our focus group suggested we go with lemon chess this season 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4535 Yes, we will be moving our offices to Sleepy Hollow. No need to lose your heads over it. 1.1864 0.06609 59 51 5 3
4536 So, we're agreed. No pumpkin spice lattes. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4537 In order to boost sales it’s been decided that the department head who finishes last in this month’s productivity report will be dessert at the firm’s annual Thanksgiving dinner. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4538 There was a typo on today's schedule- we meant to order pumpkin bread, not the Pumpkin Board! 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4539 Cheer up! You're my handpicked team! Nobody's getting canned, uh, except Mr. O'lantern here. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4540 ‘Which one of you is in charge of our diversity and inclusion effort?’ 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4541 Although pumpkin spice futures are up, I will be dissolving the Board on November 1st. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4542 Let’s tell our clients we love Halloween. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4543 I vote to strike against the carvers! 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4544 H.R. has asked us to reevaluate our hiring practices. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4545 Bring me the head of Charles Schulz. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4546 This new strategy to squash the completion is smashing! 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4547 For this Starbucks takeover to work, we gotta use our brains. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4548 we need diversity 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4549 Awesome news! Our sales department reports that our product was recently purchased at record levels by customers who delighted in removing their guts,carving their exteriors and then placing burning candles inside of them. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4550 I'm sure we'd get a pretty tasty deal if we could put our heads together on this. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4551 Jack, please. Mr. O'Latern is our fathers. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4552 Our investors are going to go with Smashing Pumpkins 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4553 ‘we really need to use our heads to find that seed money’ 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4554 Gentlemen, inflation got to our heads. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4555 So we all decided to dress up as Dwight Schrute this year?” “For my next Vice President, I’m looking for a Jack of all trades. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4556 At the Trader Joe’s board meeting… 1.1864 0.06609 59 51 5 3
4557 Oh my gourd! Lighten up! We're way ahead of the competition. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4558 I think we should be able to carve up the market, fellas. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4559 Alright, next item on the agenda: candles. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4560 It has been decided that our next fundraiser will be a pumpkin pie sale. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4561 No one's job is safe. There's a glut of ambitious newcomers 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4562 With today's restructuring, some of you will have Halloween off after all. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4563 Gordo, we have decided that Jack should head this firm. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4564 I'll leave it to you to tell each of your departments about the candy price increase. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4565 C'mon guys, the company does respect your right to holidays. 1.1857 0.04682 70 57 13 0
4566 Most of you will be smashed within the week. A few of you will make it to the new year but even you will be totally different” 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
4567 If you really want to scare them, take off those damn pumpkins! 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
4568 Just wait until you see our Christmas party plan. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
4569 Now, let’s not lose our heads. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
4570 Can we just go back to surgical masks? 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
4571 Thank you for joining our end-of-season gourd meeting. Unfortunately, we’re going to have to make some cuts. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4572 And for your bonuses this year,you all get back stage passes to the Smashing Pumpkins concert. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
4573 Research says we must come up with a new flavor to replace Pumpkin Spice. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4574 Jack here tells me he has the inside scoop on our competition. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
4575 🎃 This meeting is turning our brains into mush 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
4576 The only thing we have agreed on is that October is our month 1.1857 0.04682 70 57 13 0
4577 Jill-O-laterns belong in all places where decisions are being made #rgb 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4578 Okay, folks, we've got to carve out some space in the budget. Any volunteers? 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
4579 Our Q4 numbers are looking a little hollow. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
4580 Let's face it, we're all gutted about the cuts. I'm just carved this way. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
4581 It’s good to see you all here at the gourd of directors meeting. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
4582 Welcome to the annual shareholder meeting. You can call me the Jack-O’-All-Trades. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
4583 Guess what? We're making pie and you're all volunteering! 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
4584 In thanks for your participation in todays team-building exercise, grab a fun-sized Snickers on your way out 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
4585 I hope Peter Peter doesn't attend the meeting today! 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
4586 I feel so clear headed without those seeds. 1.1852 0.05336 54 44 10 0
4587 I have asked Mr. John O'Lantern to do the patch work for us. 1.1852 0.05336 54 44 10 0
4588 Your discussion on the carve out provision has been very illuminating. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
4589 And Jack, if that report isn't on my desk by the end of the day, you're fired. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
4590 I hate to bring up pumpkin pie again but the shareholders love it. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
4591 And don’t forget that squash team sign ups are now open. 1.1852 0.05586 81 70 7 4
4592 Alright, whose got the guts to jump into this pie…chart? 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
4593 Have you all lost your seeds?! We either address these cuts now or by next month heads are going to rot! 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
4594 I appreciate you all carving out some head space to consider this important proposal. Not to be overly dramatic..but some heads are going to roll! 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
4595 It's important to remember what Halloween is about: scaring small children and stockholders. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4596 As a reward for your service, take a day off on November 1. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4597 We’ll, guys, Halloween is coming right up, and you know what that means: Showtime! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4598 For Gourds’ sake get on it! What an brainless idea. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4599 Everyone here is named Jack! Why is there no one named Nancy O'Lantern or Steve O'Lantern on this board? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4600 No more resting bitch faces at the Happy Halloween Company! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4601 Although our company is struggling, I am the happiest chairperson you've ever seen. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4602 It has come to my attention that one member of our board does not have a stem. You all know what that means! 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4603 Has it occurred to you that maybe he wants to look like us. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4604 If we don't make the numbers this quarter, heads will roll. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4605 I'll be needing a few of you to make my next pie chart 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4606 Once October is over we'll break out the pilgrim hats. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4607 Men,there is a shortage of pumpkin pie. Who’s willing to go first? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4608 I’ve figured out how to cut down on our pumpkin pie deficit. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4609 We are now going to carve our budget. Get your knives out. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4610 I want all the Halloween candy on my desk after the meeting. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4611 Finally, for dessert at the October shareholder's meeting, we are having apple pie. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4612 The company is not being liquidated. It’s being puréed. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4613 And lastly, the amazing 90s band Smashing Pumpkins will be headlining this year's holiday party! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4614 We’ve been sold to Gordon Ramsey. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4615 Good news is that our sales numbers are up, bad news is that we have lost tens of thousands of our fellow pumpkins post COVID-19 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4616 Sorry I can't think today my head is full of goo 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4617 Our numbers this quarter were the lowest all year. Unfortunately, that means one of you is going to the porch. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4618 We don’t want to come across as just talking heads…people will think we don’t know Jack. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4619 Turn a frown upside down! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4620 I know, I know, we should have registered it but it’s time to move on 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4621 Let’s put our heads together and come up with a smashing idea, shall we. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4622 CEO Jack Squelch gets ready to inspire the team 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4623 so ive been watching yall jacking off on CCTV… 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4624 Ladies and gentleman, I’m afraid the competition is squashing us 1.1842 0.04476 76 62 14 0
4625 The only way to really know the product is to wear the product. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
4626 This year I say we squash the competition. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
4627 You need to turn those frowns upside down - you are making the children feel bad about themselves. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
4628 It has come to my attention that one of you is a squash. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
4629 Anyone without a smile on their face goes to the pie factory 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
4630 Don’t worry, it’s just a band playing at our upcoming meeting, not a topic. 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
4631 Anyone up for pie? It’s a family recipe. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
4632 No need to look it up; let me show you what defenestration means. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
4633 Santa suspects nothing 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
4634 The Board needs to get their heads together or they’ll carve us a new hole. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
4635 baked pumpkin seeds anyone?” 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
4636 Who here still has the guys to be a leader? 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
4637 Sorry to squash your mood fellas, but today’s top agenda item from the Gourd of Directors is about diversity, equity, and inclusion in the workplace 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
4638 What if we didn't them to show us smiling all the time? That would be a nice change. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
4639 Yes!!! The Happy pumpkin gets to be boss……. 1.1839 0.05305 87 75 8 4
4640 The national candle shortage has kept us dim-witted for too long. Anyone have a bright idea? 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
4641 Here's a positive trend: the use of canned squash for holiday pies is on the upswing! 1.1837 0.05589 49 40 9 0
4642 Maybe I was wrong not to hire any pointy-heads. 1.1837 0.05589 49 40 9 0
4643 Closing this deal will take nerves of steel. Frankly, I don’t believe a single one of you has the guts. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
4644 I don’t believe in Christmas bonuses. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4645 Don't be so glum. Christmas is just around the corner. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4646 It looks like this meeting is becoming sabotaged by elements of Groupthink. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4647 Well yes, I guess you can refer to me as "Big Pumkin" - behind my back. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4648 What’s everyone doing for Thanksgiving? 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4649 Get ready for enlightenment 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
4650 I see that some of you were also contacted by a headhunter about an exciting new opportunity. 1.1833 0.06506 60 52 5 3
4651 Time to carve out a new campaign and squash our competition! 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4652 We can’t meet demand for our pies this month due to supply chain issues. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4653 We've been acquired by Groundhog Day. Next year we'll all be eaten. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4654 The good news is that pumpkin spice latte demand is down, but the bad news is that Mr. Potato Head has now completed his $44 billion takeover of our company. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4655 The motion to add coconuts to our Board was resoundly defeated. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4656 Who is responsible for squashing the Board proposal? 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4657 The Jewish Chapter of the Pumpkinhead Anti-Defamation League has voted, the artist formerly known as 'Ye', will now be, unknown as, 'Oye-Vey-Ye'. Shalom! 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4658 I think we have an obligation to diversify our board as they are all of one color and have only round heads! 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4659 Smashing idea Jack! Time to liquefy. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
4660 The rumors are true. Heads will roll. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4661 With all members in a-gourdance, the motion to provide seed capital to the Butternut Corporation has been squashed. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4662 We've hit a rough patch. Cuts will be made. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4663 How do we carve out a greater share of the market? 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4664 You can't make a pie without smashing a few pumpkin heads. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
4665 Me and the boys discussing our trick or treating route. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
4666 The carve-out vote leaves us with a lasting grin. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
4667 OK, having your mouth re-carved is a bother, but it has improved my mood enormously. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
4668 I think it goes without saying that there’s only room for one Great Pumpkin on this board. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
4669 Repeat after me, "We will NOT get squashed this year." 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
4670 So, unless business improves, we will no longer be able to provide free candles! 1.1831 0.06121 71 62 5 4
4671 Look guys,we have to raise the royalty rate on our emojis 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
4672 We’ve carved up the competition, so third quarter results will bring a smile to your face. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
4673 Our attorney has advised me anti discrimination laws require witches and non-orange pumpkins be added to our Board? 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
4674 Orange is the new mask 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
4675 The good news is, we're trending!... 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
4676 Well, once again, the Board has squashed our latest agricultural identity proposal. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
4677 How do we solve the diversity gourdian knot? 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
4678 All in favor, say aye. All against, say BOO. 1.1831 0.06121 71 62 5 4
4679 Now I don’t have to remember everyone’s pronouns. 1.1831 0.04623 71 58 13 0
4680 It's harvest time! 1.1831 0.04623 71 58 13 0
4681 From this time forward only I will be called Jack. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
4682 So it's unanimous - Orange is the new gray. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
4683 Over the next 30 days our shareholder’s expect us to transition into a company that makes only pie.” 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
4684 And let me remind you, gentlemen - this is the one day a year that we can show our faces in public, so let's not mess up out there... 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
4685 This company needs a facelift. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
4686 Welcome to our diversity training program 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
4687 Unfortunately, Wilson here is the only one who can't seem to keep a handle on the top this year. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
4688 I invented pumpkin spice latte and you didn’t. So that’s why I’m sitting here, and you’re sitting there. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
4689 The branding consultants have suggested we go with my friendly grin, and these new upside down triangle eyes so we don't scare away so many of our customers. 1.1831 0.04623 71 58 13 0
4690 We thought it would be easier to meet in person than to try and patch you all in on Zoom. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
4691 I’m hiring Giuliani as spokesperson. He’ll bring fresh perspective since he’s out of his gourd. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
4692 This board meeting is lit. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
4693 Hope this deal goes through before we all rot 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
4694 Guys it’s high time for energy saving.. we change the concept to Jack o’SUNtern 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
4695 The Halloween party is tonight. Try not to get smashed! 1.1829 0.04296 82 67 15 0
4696 So guys...how do we like the new gourdroom? 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
4697 Don't Be Sad, Only 9 Will Be Fired 1.1829 0.04296 82 67 15 0
4698 As for this whole 'PC' Board initiative I told them 'Frankly, you couldn't FIND a more "diverse" group than us.' 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
4699 Due to unforeseen consequences, we're discontinuing our pumpkin spice promotion. 1.1829 0.05522 82 71 7 4
4700 While some of you might find this new development to be a treat, I assure the rest of you, this is not a duplicitous rouse … 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
4701 Last three years have been a success but we need to find a different way to keep the momentum going 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
4702 Effectively immediately, I’m resigning my position as CEO 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4703 Our shareholders are demanding a more diverse board. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4704 Great to celebrate Halloween without COVID masks! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4705 And, as our final agenda item, I have made arrangements to, forthwith, have all of your frowns re-carved into smiles. 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
4706 So it looks like you all decided on the wrong face. So it's, "off with your heads." hhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaa 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
4707 And some of you I won't be seeing again after the 31st.... 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
4708 Well, this is awkward. I didn't think we'd all be wearing the same outfit today. 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
4709 We’re going to have to table our conversation on the office pumpkin mandate until next month’s gourd meeting. 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4710 If we put all our heads together, we can make one huge pumpkin pie! 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4711 I regret to inform you all that as of the first of the month,we won't be able to keep the lights on around here anymore. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
4712 I need all of you to get fired up this quarter. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4713 I know you are all disappointed over last week's carve-out, but corporate relations has suggested that we smile more. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
4714 Our short-term figures show a rotten decline, and possible smashing, on the horizon. 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
4715 We've taken some deep cuts recently, but if we don't lose our heads, we should still be okay by the first of the month. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4716 Happy to report that Mr. Potato Head is totally out of the picture! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4717 As all you know, his is our last board meeting... 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4718 So, I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is that there are hundreds of dentists gathering in the lobby. The good news is that it's only a 150-foot drop down to the sidewalk out of that window. 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
4719 'For the company' will take on a whole new meaning come Thanksgiving. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
4720 Unfortunately, there is not room for all of us in this gourdroom. 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4721 I need some source material for a pie chart ... who wants to volunteer? 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4722 Executive meeting in the gourdroom 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
4723 Yes and even worse we have determined that facial recognition software appears to work on pumpkins! 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4724 Any volunteers for the annual pumpkin pie eating contest? Or is it too cerebral? 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4725 I want your ideas on expanding Pumpkin Spice market share on my desk in the morning. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
4726 I think we can all agree your monthly forecast for October is unduly pessimistic yet again Frank. 1.1818 0.04424 77 63 14 0
4727 lets circle back 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
4728 I have a slightly different kind of carve out in mind." 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
4729 Come on, people -- show some guts! 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
4730 I'm sorry but times being what they are, I'll need to carve a few of you out. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4731 The marketing department says we need 15-second recipe ideas for them to prepare the pumpkin after Halloween. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4732 Trust me, heads will roll! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4733 Please raise your hand if you wish to volunteer for the pie contest. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
4734 Alright, pumpkin brains, listen up. Get it into your heads that October 31 is Your Day to Make the Sale! In fact it's your only day so don't blow it! 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4735 Despite record turnover rate, we've taken great measures to revamp our DEI policy this Halloween. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4736 The Fairy Godmother Division has come up with a solution to our carriage supply-chain issues... 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
4737 We wouldn’t be here without George Washington Carver. 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
4738 So sorry, I ate the pie chart. 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
4739 Give me some ideas about how we can stay ahead of the carve. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
4740 Please stop calling me Mr. PumpkinHead. I’m Atkins. Have you all looked in the mirror lately? 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
4741 I’ve heard your concerns: from now on I’ll be sure to say let’s *make* some time. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4742 We're here today to discuss why are faces are orange. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4743 You won't believe what's in store for Thanksgiving. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
4744 I can see by your expressions that you are all disappointed in not winning the office Trump look alike contest. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4745 Act natural. Remember: squirrels don't eat businessmen." 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
4746 If Peter Peter doesn’t reveal himself, there’s going to be trouble. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4747 The future is lattes! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4748 What this corporation really needs is a better attitude in the executive suite. 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
4749 Reminder that tomorrow is the memorial service for all of our brothers and sisters who were made into pies over the last year. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
4750 C'mon, there must be something else you idiots can spice up! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4751 Let’s carve out some time to discuss who’s going to get the axe on Halloween. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
4752 For the love of God, can we please call a moratorium on office theme parties? 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4753 Yes it's quite true, your seeds are roasting in the cafeteria as we speak. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4754 I’m sorry to have to tell you all that this year’s carving trend is the smile. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
4755 So need to get that Gallagher bastard once and for all 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
4756 The jackasses got confused and thought they were Jack o lanterns. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
4757 I’m convinced we can find a solution, I’m looking at a jack-of-all-trades here 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4758 We just heard from the Director of DEI. In an effort to be more inclusive, from now on it’ll be ‘trick AND treat’. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
4759 They removed all my brains, carved this miserable grimace into my face and now I’m here. Not sure why he’s smiling. 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
4760 Our success in this Halloween market requires the use of our brains… 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4761 So is it obvious for everyone who is the scariest pumpkin of the year, right? 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4762 Our plan to make candy corn the most disgusting aspect of Halloween has been wildly successful. 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
4763 It turns out the return-to-work policy has triggered a significant deficit in our trick-or-treater numbers 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
4764 Corporate diversity meeting 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
4765 It is now or never. X-mas cannot win. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
4766 The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that gourd - for lack of a better word - is good. 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
4767 No fear! Our day of gory-glory will roll 'round before ya no-itt!!! 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4768 It was a Freudian slip, I meant craving not carving. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4769 I have some good news, and some bad news. The roasted pumpkin seeds are selling very well. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4770 - “I’m sure if we all put our heads together we can come up with something pithy.” 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4771 I’m not calling you pumpkin-heads but…. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4772 Relax, it’s a pie CHART. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
4773 There were eleven of you before dinner started. Now there are only ten. Take the hint and get out of here. Steven Weiss, Chicago, Illinois 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
4774 Turn those frowns upside down. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
4775 Let's see if we can get more hollow-minded. 1.1806 0.04565 72 59 13 0
4776 A JURY OF MY PIE-ERS 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
4777 We will be carving out some time in this meeting to address the frowns on all of your faces. 1.1806 0.04565 72 59 13 0
4778 So,whose house are we jacking? 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
4779 Sorry guys. Mom and Dad couldn't make it. this year. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
4780 Jacks, you've lost your spark! Your light's gone out! Let's get pumped up! 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
4781 Who wants some pie ? 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
4782 Hold onto your stems gentleman. You’re going to love this! 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
4783 I've asked our diversity people to recruit more spice among our directors. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
4784 Our marketing team believes this will sell much better than the Urban Sombrero. 1.1806 0.04565 72 59 13 0
4785 Pumpkin heads will roll. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
4786 Pumpkin beer! Cheers to the O’Lanterns! 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
4787 Sales are down I therefore need each one of you going doorstep to doorstep! 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
4788 Global climate negotiations 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
4789 coughs”. Sorry, seed in my throat 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
4790 Well this has been en-lightening 🎃 🕯 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
4791 I am pleased to announce another record year of tricks for you, and treats for me! 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
4792 Yes, it was I who farted 1.1806 0.04565 72 59 13 0
4793 Pies are in the oven 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
4794 Welcome, gentlemen. Today I'm going to teach you how to carve your way into a leadership position. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4795 Bolted doors and windows barred, Guard dogs prowling in the yard, Won’t protect you in your bed, Nothing will, from Pumpkinhead!” 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4796 Isn’t there one Director with a fertile imagination who can come up with a smashing idea for us? 1.1803 0.06405 61 53 5 3
4797 Come on now, each of you, show me your happy face! 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
4798 We've hired David S Pumpkins as Communications Director. Any questions? 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4799 Talk fast . Our time is up by November first. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4800 Pie sales are up! 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
4801 There is no easy way to say this, but we have to make some more cuts. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4802 I just want to carve out some time to patch things up. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4803 You all look in need of some trick or treating 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4804 That was the good news. 1.1803 0.06819 61 54 3 4
4805 Well, no matter which way you carve it... 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4806 No Halloween funds left for this year. All went into our head transplants. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
4807 I know layoffs are a downer, but aren't you glad I got rid of all the melonheads? 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4808 Gentlemen, our time is limited. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4809 I'm not happy about it either but at least we're not wearing masks this year. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
4810 I'll be filling in for Bob today...all I can tell you is that he was taken for a horseback ride. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4811 This might sound a little scary at first, but it's a smashing idea. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
4812 Pumpkin Heads are anyone of you going out Trick 'n' Treat on this Halloween?!! 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4813 We finally reached a Patch. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4814 I've managed to carve a wonderful new position for myself. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4815 I have a proposal for a source of seed capital but I anticipate there may be some concerns. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4816 Well, at least we already have some seed money” 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4817 Looks like a serious Gourd Meeting. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4818 One more drink and you’ll all be smashed. 1.1800 0.05488 50 41 9 0
4819 And I know there are a few among you who think I’m out of my gourd for planning a hostile takeover of the Easter holiday season… 1.1800 0.06188 50 42 7 1
4820 Because the company is bankrupt, you will all be carved up at the same time. 1.1800 0.05488 50 41 9 0
4821 You heard me correctly, I'm resigning as CEO. I have found my true calling - being thrown at tall, lanky men from horseback on a misty country road at night. 1.1800 0.06188 50 42 7 1
4822 It seems our strategy to remain relevant has worked a little too well. We'll be merging with a spice company by month's end. 1.1800 0.06188 50 42 7 1
4823 Alright Jackass-o'-lanters, who is ready to break quarterly profit records! 1.1800 0.06188 50 42 7 1
4824 So, we’re all in agreement: Trump is back on the platform. 1.1800 0.05488 50 41 9 0
4825 The Gourd of Directors were unnerved by the CEO's seedy decision making 1.1795 0.05696 78 68 6 4
4826 ...and the next head of the pie division will beeeee.... 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
4827 Watermelon topped Q3 Cucurbitaceae Conglomerated sales, and pumpkin projections are strong for Q4. Cucumbers still have a lot of gas year-round, but we need to consider dumping yellow squash. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4828 I’m happy to say, we’re finally adding a dental plan to our health insurance. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
4829 I can’t imagine what you guys will look like after the holiday 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4830 I've just made a deal with the North Pole that's will make people's heads pop off. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4831 The motion passes unanimously: either our shareholders treat us to a bonus, or we trick them out of their shares! 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
4832 But, Mr. Musk, what if you are wrong? 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4833 I appreciate the agreement as read. I will squash, pardon the pun, any further discussion. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4834 Trick - You're all fired! Treat - I've increased the incentive bonus for the remaining Board members. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4835 Tomorrow some of you are going to be transferred to the pie division. It'll just be temporary. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
4836 Who watched the most recent season of Succession? 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4837 HR quickly realized they had a diversity problem and vowed to hire no more Peters. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
4838 It's settled,pumpkin pie for lunch. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4839 Peter Peter has invited us all to dinner! 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4840 Me? No. Executives here don't get canned. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4841 Gentlemen, I think we need to get some diversity in the board room. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4842 For the last time,someone carved my face like this. I'm just as upset as all of you. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4843 This year's company picnic will be held at the Sleepy Hollow Hilton. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4844 I can tell by looking at all of you....you don't believe me when I say it is only a temporary downturn. Trust me! 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4845 Anyone for a pumpkin latte? 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4846 The pumpkin boss is at it again. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4847 I know this time of year hasn't always been kind to us, but remember our mantra: "Past Performance Is Not Indicative Of Future Results"! 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4848 -So let's put more human heads this year 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4849 Okay folks, we need a plan to squash the competition. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4850 At our next meeting, I'd like everyone to have a lighted candle in his head, no exceptions. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4851 I'm sure you're wondering why I've placed pumpkins on your heads. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4852 In conclusion, I'm pleased with most of the points raised today. Peter, you've been sharper. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4853 Okay, unless I'm told who's phone that is with the Smashing Pumpkins ring tone, you're all about to hit the street...literally! 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4854 I'm happy to report Pumpkin Spice is now the official national seasoning. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4855 sales are down. what's scaring the customers off? 1.1791 0.04720 67 55 12 0
4856 Let's turn that frown upside down! 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4857 To improve efficiency, we’ll be consolidating with the pie division. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4858 Why so serious? It's trick and tweet time! 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4859 That's right, Gourdy, the word from corporate is that black is the new orange. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4860 Do we have any nominations for The Great Pumpkin? 1.1791 0.04720 67 55 12 0
4861 Unfortunately, our new corporate diversity policy requires some of you to be replaced by squashheads. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4862 We're smashing our deliverables, sir. 1.1791 0.05987 67 58 6 3
4863 It’s a candle joke, lighten up! 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4864 Gentlemen, we need three volunteers for the carving contest. Any takers? 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4865 With a spike in the PSL's, we are looking at a very lit crowd this year. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4866 Time for the annual pumpkin promotion! Once again Peter Peter is this year’s pick for prize of the patch! 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4867 Our big holiday is almost here. Have fun—but try not to get smashed! 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4868 Now that we have heads, let’s carve some faces into gourds and squash. 1.1791 0.05987 67 58 6 3
4869 How many more men can we lose to Trader Joe’s and Starbucks this year 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4870 The sooner you except that you have to smash a few pumpkins to get to the top the bette 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4871 Ichabod hipster Fridays. 1.1791 0.04720 67 55 12 0
4872 As you can see in this pie chart... Oh, sorry Jenkins. My condolences about your father. 1.1791 0.04720 67 55 12 0
4873 We will be downsizing after the 31st! 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4874 Bunch of talkin' heads 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4875 Okay, Ichabod. Just keep your head. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4876 Do we all agree? 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4877 Thank you for your service last night, gentlemen,but today you all become pie. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4878 This month I'm paying you in pumpkin seeds. We have a lot of them in inventory right now. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4879 It's never good news when the boss's face lights up like that. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4880 Don’t worry about layoffs—we plan to carve you out. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4881 Looks like we're all on the same page today. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4882 Let’s invite Gourd to the table and roast him for once! 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4883 I think we can all agree that this TikTok Halloween challenge has gone too far 1.1786 0.05399 84 73 7 4
4884 Let’s light this candle! 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
4885 I’m happy to announce our new strategy: trick our costumers into thinking that they are treating themselves with our products. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4886 No one brought the candles? I can’t see anything. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4887 So instead of paying artists and writers for their work, we’ll exploit the unpaid labor of the public using the lure of fame while simultaneously boosting engagement with our content which is essentially free advertising! It’s a Hallo-win-win!” 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4888 You’re all a bunch of jacks!” 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4889 We will thankfully make our benchmarks this quarter, however, you won't be getting your seeds back. 1.1782 0.04750 101 87 10 4
4890 Good news. No more meetings after Halloween. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4891 I'm happy to announce this holiday party we have booked the band... Smashing Pumpkins! 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4892 Covfefe--both Clarence and Ginni Thomas suggested that I answer every subpoena request by claiming Executive Covfefe. Thoughts? 1.1781 0.05962 73 64 5 4
4893 I am pleased to announce new cuts to turn those frowns upside down. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
4894 I have a feeling next quarter will be a smashing success. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
4895 It was this or bobble heads. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4896 Welcome Peter, Peter, Peter,Peter, Peter,Peter, Peter,Peter, Peter and Peter . 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
4897 Our new product will be called " pumpkin spice." 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4898 Headhunter’s conference. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4899 We urgently need to discuss the global shortage of candles 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4900 I guess I can’t call you all chowder heads anymore… 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
4901 Unfortunately due to inflation, our dental plan will no longer include orthodontics. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
4902 Heads I win, entrails you lose. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4903 A reminder. Tomorrow we're switching to Christmas trees. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4904 Our investors weren’t receptive to a trick instead of a treat last quarter. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4905 Ok, my job as Chairman is to re-assure you that this company, and all other pumpkins will not be voting for Halloween. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
4906 Gentlemen, it’s time to carve out next year’s budget. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4907 Show me some smiles--think of the delicious pies you will become. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
4908 We have ultimately decided to squash that project Jack. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4909 And finally, fourth quarter earnings are up, thanks to everyone's favorite fall flavor. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4910 Gentlemen, how can pumpkin juice crush the apple cider market? 1.1774 0.06714 62 55 3 4
4911 Let's go around the room and discuss New Year's plans. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
4912 Good news! All Recipes reports that here's been an uptick in pumpkin recipes. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4913 This Halloween Hat idea looks better than I thought it would. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4914 You see, it works ... Tomorrow I want all of you to put on your happy faces. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4915 This year's team building exercise will be held at Sleepy Hollow's. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4916 I know you’re all wondering why I called you into the Gourd-room today. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4917 The Butternuts are squashing us 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4918 Well gentlemen, the good news is that Jack Industries is expected to turn a tidy profit in 2023. The bad news is that, by the time it happens, we'll all be moldy, sagging piles of goop. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4919 The good news is that seasonal sales are up. The bad news is that someone is going to lose their head to maintain supply. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4920 good news our stock grew 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
4921 Our Halloween Work Week feels simply awesome! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4922 Well, that’s it for this gourd meeting… 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4923 Jack, how are our diversity programs doing? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4924 Well, it’s our time to shine 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4925 So I see that our transition to a hybrid workforce has been a success 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4926 Looks like we’re in a bit of a rough patch. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4927 And they all lost their heads when someone suggested that they actually pay their interns. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4928 I’m happy to announce that we’ve managed to cut the FY ‘23 budget by 6%. Unfortunately, that means our headless horseman had to go. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4929 Gentleman, it’s at a time like this where I become frustrated with my permanent expression of happiness. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4930 It’s not a pumpkin dump scheme, we run a legitimate operation here 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
4931 THIS is the year we bring back candy corn! 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4932 We have to think of Halloween as a challenge, an opportunity, not a calamity. You can't lose your heads over it. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4933 Let's squash that project until after the holidays. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4934 As my prototype implant wasn't successful, we're postponing all further oral surgery. 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4935 Due to budget cuts, some of you will be transferring to our bakery department. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4936 As a reminder, this is a business lunch, so nobody is getting lit. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4937 Need I remind you--you are all Pumpikinheads, but I am the Head Pumpkin! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4938 Elon Musk just bought our company, he promised no changes to our culture but starting tomorrow everyone needs to change their candle for a led light. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4939 This year we invested in pumpkins. They've been going up the whole month of October, and I got a feeling they're going to peak right around January. Then BANG! That's when we cash in!” #thesimpson 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4940 Good news-- we squashed the competition! 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4941 Our seed money is gone, my friends. We’re about to enter a rough patch... 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
4942 Why was the Jack-o'-lantern afraid? It had no guts! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4943 Corporate has made it known we need to change our resting face. I’ll go first. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4944 Gentlemen, our ‘evil orange’ brand no longer frightens. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4945 Who can explain to me what all the fuss is about pumpkin spice? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4946 Unanimous, then. We will compete to see who can throw his head the farthest. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4947 Uh oh. Just got a call from Legal. The O’Lantern family sent us a ‘Cease & Desist’ letter.” 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4948 Cheer up guys. Orange lives matter. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4949 Let's go get 'em! 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4950 Your last day is October 31st. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
4951 Ellon Musk's 1st day at Twitter HQ after announcing that he is going to fire most employees: "Trick or Treat!!" 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
4952 On a positive note, division heads who missed Q3 goals will be up-skilled to become tasty pies for Thanksgiving. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
4953 Pete, you're gonna save us.....no more carving us up! Continue with your hybrid work. They can all buy purple pumpkins next year. We'll show them! 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4954 Ok...it's been moved and seconded that we leave the pumpkins at home beginning November 1st. All in favor say Boo! 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4955 Any gourd ideas for Bill's retirement party? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4956 For some strange reason, I have a craving for pie..." 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4957 Let’s plow the profits into candles! 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4958 I'm afraid ten of you will have to become pie. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4959 We need some diversity in the gourd room. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
4960 Trumpkins devising Halloween conspiracies 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4961 Where are we with the Pumpkin Spice litigation? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4962 All right you chuckleheads,time to get serious about our plunging profits. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4963 We all carry a lot of weight over our shoulders! 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4964 I need porch ideas by end of day, or it"s going to be someone's head. 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
4965 I move we table the eyepatch motion. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4966 Well Jack's, what do you say we get smashed tonight? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4967 Any ideas about why they all want to keep working from home? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4968 I'm excited to announce, that due to the encroachment of the winter holiday seasons, we are going to start celebrating Fall in June!! 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
4969 See? We aren’t clowns! 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
4970 If we all identify as pumpkins, we will be able to finally meet the diverse corporate board initiative 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4971 - “The spice merger made us filthy rich, however, you will soon find out what It means to sell out to Nutmeg and Clove.” 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4972 Jack of all Trades Meeting Commence. 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4973 Halloween downsizing: "We are going trough a rough patch..." 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4974 Looking over Q4 predictions, it’s officially spooky season boys. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4975 this executive group frightens shareholders 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
4976 There exists an extremely acute shortage of horsemen 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4977 Wait! Peter, Peter, are you seriously telling me that we never trademarked the whole "pumpkin-spice" initiative! 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4978 At least we’re just heartless now. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4979 I hope you all carve out some time to work on the project. Don't make me light a fire under any of you! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4980 We’re going to have to make some cuts 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4981 I recommend we carve out time as well. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
4982 Let's just say our competitor has been squashed. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
4983 And if you want dental insurance, expect to burn the candle at both ends. 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
4984 So are we all lit? 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
4985 I said, We will NOT be carved up!" 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
4986 In a week, your heads will be stinking piles of slime. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
4987 Did you all enjoy the roasted pumpkin seeds? 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
4988 Unfortunately, this will be the last meeting of the Trump Admiration Society. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
4989 The good news: Sales are up. The bad news: you're all 60 percent off the day after Halloween. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
4990 Now you see what happens when you agree to a carve out. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
4991 As part of this year's Thanksgiving festivities, we will have a pie baking contest for your wives. 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
4992 I'm glad we could all carve out some time to be here this morning. 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
4993 If one of you doesn't come up with a better Halloween decoration idea heads are gonna roll. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
4994 As a pumpkin-headed CEO without vocal cords or even the ability to alter my predetermined facial features, I am happy to announce "GENERIC HALLOWEEN PUN" and "GENERIC PUMPKIN PUN." Also you are all fired. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4995 Can someone turn the AC on? I'm melting 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4996 Our lawsuit against moose eating us off of doorsteps is proceeding well. However, that doesn’t guarantee it won’t happen to you.” 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4997 We're getting squashed by the competition, My mind is open to any new suggestions. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4998 Today we tour the bakery! 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4999 If profits don't increase, heads will roll. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
5000 And you all thought I was going to carve you a new asshole...well that ain't the half of it. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
5001 Team, I say it's about time we start shaping ourselves. 1.1754 0.06681 57 50 4 3
5002 First I'd like to thank everyone for carving out some time for this meeting. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
5003 Welcome to this quarter's gourd meeting. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
5004 Surveillance capital is a pumpkin on every doorstep. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
5005 Let’s carve out some time this weekend to meet to go over our Halloween strategy. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
5006 Let’s plan to head out now and patch things up. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
5007 Today, I’m happy to announce that those evil ghosts we were created to vanquish we can now call … our partners. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
5008 Gentlemen, not only did we lose our big candle account, we lost our lucrative spice account, too! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
5009 Jack?” “Present.” “Jack?” “Present.” “Jack?” “Present. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
5010 I'm pleased to report we've been named Spice of the Month. 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
5011 I've carved out a new nitch! 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
5012 I'm in favor. The ayes have it. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
5013 I know, but it’s budget season. Heads are gonna roll. 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
5014 Can I assume by everyone’s reaction that no one else wants to come to the Smashing Pumpkins concert with me? 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
5015 Jack, listen, we can sit here all day and argue about the power of facial expression, but where will it really get us? 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
5016 Pumpkin Pie is a small price to pay for satisfied stockholders. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
5017 Pumpkinheads are gonna roll. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
5018 Gentlemen, we need ideas that won't spoil quickly and be tossed in the compost by next month. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
5019 Last quarter’s earnings were smashing. It’s clearly after midnight. Let’s adjourn for the day. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
5020 Get this holiday right--or heads will roll! 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5021 Elon Musk is buying the company and vowed to smash 75% of you. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5022 Money is a bit tight going into the holiday season this year so I'm asking one of you to step up and volunteer to be the pie this year. 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5023 C’mon guys, put on a happy face 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5024 Raise your hand if you're in favor of reinstating the mask mandate. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5025 We need to turn the focus onto rhubarb 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5026 It's what the share-holders voted on. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5027 I have good news, boys...our drones are doing a job on the squirrel population. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5028 The board is scared the company is headed in the wrong direction 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5029 So, it's that time of year again. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5030 You can tell who gets paid the BIG bucks! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5031 Ok, so now that we know that the our Deluxe Hair Growth Creme DOES NOT WORK, we need to come up with a new marketing strategy and Fast!! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5032 Good news! I know you’re all feeling stressed from your workloads so I’ve hired a Wellness Carver to turns those frowns upside down! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5033 That's right... I'm the one who carved you up! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5034 We need to have more diversity at this table! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5035 Because of the deep cuts we've all had to make, our upcoming shareholder meeting is going to be a horror show. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5036 I know you are feeling empty right now,so let’s start the meeting. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5037 I think we need to change plastic surgeons. I personally would prefer a bit more nuance in my face. 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5038 I know imitation is the most sincere form of flattery but this is ridiculous! 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5039 Who wants to play Peter Peter? 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5040 Pumpkin heads discussing agriculture 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5041 …that meeting before The Smashing Pumpkins. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5042 The pumpkins were given the news that rising inflation meant that some of them would have to be cut. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5043 Ok, no more jacking around. 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5044 We will now open the meeting of the pumpkin patch board. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5045 You all stink. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5046 I am sorry to tell you the Board has come to a decision on the lay-offs. The smashing will begin on October 31st.!" 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5047 The board wants to carve out a new corporate image, with more diversity among the heads at each location 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5048 Trust me: Longevity is overrated. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5049 As always happens at this time of year, they've asked me to call together this meeting in order to pick your brains. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5050 Some of you are going to be moved to the front porch." Cal Bellamy Munster, IN 4632 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5051 The green peppers are talking a merger. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5052 I assume you are aware we already have Christmas on the shelves. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5053 I can tell you from experience, it's going to be a painful transition, but we MUST change our image... 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5054 Henceforth we will be lavender." 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5055 I don't know. We've all lost our heads over this case. 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5056 Trust me. I make the best cuts”-CEO Trumpki 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5057 Then I told her, “look pumpkin, you’re not cut out for the corner office.” 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5058 Jack: "you gotta have guts to make it in this industry!" 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5059 I think we're more than qualified to decide laws concerning the reproductive rights of butternut squash. Any nays? 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5060 We’re really looking to carve out our space in the industry. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5061 Welcome everyone to the first board meeting of the Trump skin care product line 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5062 They carved me with a smile. But let me assure you, there’s only sadness here. We’re bankrupt 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5063 This motherfucker… 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
5064 The pumpkin who smiles will be the leader..... 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
5065 Our problems have come to a head. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
5066 Good News. The spice is BACK! 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
5067 Innovation is the name of the game! Let's not think like a bunch of pumpkin heads! 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
5068 Welcome Sleepy Hollow Town council ? 1.1739 0.06515 69 62 2 5
5069 I sold the company. As of November 1, Ocean Spray will be making personnel changes. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
5070 I've just fired the carver responsible for your frowns. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
5071 And now to consider the appointment of Peter….. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
5072 Launching Pumpkin Spiced Everything 3 months early has smashed all of our projections! 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
5073 Any ideas for thanksgiving? 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
5074 The ayes have it…the motion passes unanimously. We’ll be adding dental insurance to our health plan immediately. 1.1739 0.06179 69 61 4 4
5075 Who wants a piece of pie ? 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
5076 Before we start, anyone watching know anything about zoom filters? 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
5077 We need to squash our competition or it’s gonna be a rotten quarter. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
5078 The question is do we decorate one another here and now or go to the party as is 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
5079 He who controls the spice, controls the universe 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
5080 I have it on good faith from Peter that the patch is doing just fine. 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
5081 As a reminder, please don’t get smashed at the client Halloween party. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
5082 Simpson! Carve that frown upside down 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
5083 I think it’s time Gourds. After months and months of priming the human culture. Open your socials and let’s Cancel the Smashing Pumpkins. 1.1739 0.06179 69 61 4 4
5084 Do I look like I'm laughing!!! 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
5085 The teachers and staff at Carver Elementary School. 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
5086 ''Those in favor of disappointing Linus yet again?'' 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
5087 Jack, I'm going to have to squash that idea. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
5088 It's unanimous, then, next year "The Upturned Grin." 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
5089 I am proud to inform you we smashed our Annual Sales. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
5090 Well well well, it seems we've all been pump'ked again 1.1733 0.04400 75 62 13 0
5091 OK you guys. Which one of you is holding Peter Peter’s wife hostage? 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
5092 The bad news is there will be layoffs. The good news is there will be a bigger share of the pie for everyone else. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
5093 Sorry, Jacks. Some of you will have to go. Corporate has ordered that I hire more skeletons. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
5094 Are you out of your gourd Thompson?! 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
5095 I’m Bumpkin, your new President. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
5096 We want all our employees to be happy. Unfortunately, the ten of you are just not cut out to work here. 1.1733 0.04400 75 62 13 0
5097 Miss this deadline and each of you will be pumpkin pie" 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
5098 …then you sprinkle the seeds with cinnamon and sugar, pop them in the oven and voila, a delicious Halloween treat! 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
5099 We need a new game to compete with Mr Potato Head. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
5100 Apparently, we've once again failed our goals. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
5101 Good news! We're merging with a pie company. Bad news - heads will roll. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
5102 Let's put our squashes together and think about this. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
5103 … and so I’ve decided to replace you all with Elves come November 1st. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
5104 So they found the heads … Obviously we gotta squash this. 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
5105 Lets not any of us lose our heads over some silly schoolteachers who imagine that they are our rivals in anything --- much less love - okay? 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
5106 Meeting of the Gourd 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
5107 Chairperson Jack O. Lantern and the Board of Pumpkins motion to remove the term ‘Pie Chart’ from the company’s lexicon. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
5108 I know your faces don’t show how excited you are, but who’s ready for this merger with Witch Corp International 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
5109 Feelin' a lil' bit lightheaded during the meeting. 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
5110 Need I remind you who’s the head of this company? 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5111 So, I need a motion on ESG - we need some other fruits!! 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5112 Hear me out: eggplant spice. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5113 We have extended pumpkin Fridays thru Thangsgiving! 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5114 We need to focus on squashing the competition 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5115 Alright, after last weeks debacle does anyone else have any bright ideas? 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5116 We've carved a very nice slice out of the Thanksgiving pie market, but you would have to be out of your gourds to think that we could get a patch of the holiday fruit cake market, we would just squashed if we tried. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
5117 While the takeover was squashed, we still need to make additional cuts. 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
5118 Y’all used to be lit! What happened??! 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
5119 We're merging the Halloween Division with the Pumpkin Pie Department. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
5120 And that, ladies and gentlemen, is Trick or Tweet--now let's get out there and sell it. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
5121 Ok, with Monday’s deadline fast approaching, let’s get some faces glowing with new ideas … 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
5122 Cut the crap Jack, we're not putting candy corn in the break room. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
5123 Come on gentlemen, put on a happy face. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
5124 I’ve carved out some time in your calendars to start selling candy in July. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
5125 I’ve decided, in lieu of the demand for lattes this season, we will be doubling the number of carve-outs. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
5126 Yes, well one of us must maintain a sense of humor about the pumpkin carving contest. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
5127 Meatless Mondays. Who's first? 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
5128 It’s the season of ditch to ditch. If we don’t get more loads by midnight no more VP titles! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
5129 My apologies. Perhaps "smashing success" was a poor choice of words. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
5130 You may have heard that variety is the spice of life. Here's the real deal... 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
5131 Who volunteers to retire on the White House Front Porch? 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
5132 Picture this....a drive through restaurant where you give your order to a.....wait for it.....Jack in the box! Come on, use your imagination! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
5133 Then it is agreed. We put all our efforts into creating a Pumpkin Republic. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
5134 thoughts on diversity? 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
5135 We need to diversify. Anybody know a nice gourd? 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
5136 Today we will carve out a whole new plan for the city. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
5137 For Halloween this year,staff has suggested a pumpkin carving contest. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
5138 You Twits! Elon doesn’t celebrate Halloween 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
5139 This carve-out will allow us to transition to more evergreen content. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
5140 Don't worry, gentlemen. Our new CEO, the Headless Horseman, has assured me that we will all meet with a smashing success after the takeover. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
5141 They can’t make Pi! 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
5142 Lord Farquad - "Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make" 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
5143 I’m not impressed that you all dressed up for Halloween as me. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
5144 Fellow Trumpians. We are no longer winning. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
5145 Heads will glow if you all don’t meet this quarter’s sales targets! 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5146 I’m happy to see you’ve all met your ghouls. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
5147 We need to move more quickly with our diversity, equity, and inclusion commitment. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5148 You can’t just sneeze on it and call it pumpkin spice, Carl. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5149 Now, guess what we're wearing for Thanksgiving! 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5150 We need more diversity. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
5151 Aw c'mon. O'Lantern and Sons is doing great! 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5152 So much more poll friendly than the old white sheets donchathink? 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5153 As you can see, some of our owners are eager to carve up our company...your expressions are grim.... 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
5154 Next, let’s hear from Jack. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5155 I want to squash those rumors immediately. You are not the hollow men! 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
5156 Gentlemen,it would seem our grip on the spiced latte market is recession proof. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5157 I hope the October corporate dress code isn't going to be too much of a weight on your shoulders 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
5158 I'm pleased to report that we are doing really well at meeting our equal opportunity hiring targets this quarter. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
5159 We need a new vegetable for a Halloween mask to give us a new edge to increase our November bottom line 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5160 You can never let your gourd down in the world of business. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5161 Now put on a H A P P Y F A C E 1.1719 0.06122 64 56 5 3
5162 We've all been hand-picked for October's marketing campaign 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5163 It gives me a charge to work with such seedy characters. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5164 I've just been told that Netflix has decided to not renew its contract with 'It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown'. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5165 As I've said so often, imitation is the best form of flattery. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5166 Cutting staff will begin with the low-hanging fruit. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
5167 Hey, guys. Isn’t it time to let in a canteloupe? 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
5168 - "Pumpkin smashing is down to 87.4%. That's almost one percent from last year." 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
5169 Remember to put your seeds in the oven after you leave the meeting! 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
5170 I’m glad we were able to carve out some time to go over performance reviews for this team before the holiday. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
5171 Any more pie-brained ideas? 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5172 As fun as it is, there will be no human head carving competition this year 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5173 On Halloween, you’ll all be fired—I mean lit. 🔥 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
5174 Turning heads in the Gourd Room. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
5175 You all have given most generously to seed this venture. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5176 When you're being eaten by squirrels, just remember that it's for the good of the company. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
5177 Whoever doesn’t meet their sales goal is getting smashed. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5178 Thank you all for carving out some time for today's 90-minute meeting that could have been an email. Jack, why don't you start with your updates. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
5179 Most of you are getting kicked to the curb. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
5180 Cheer up. We have new candles for everyone. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
5181 Any bright ideas? 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
5182 Board of Apples looking at Microsoft 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
5183 I just proposed a four-day work week and you all look spooked. 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
5184 Am I the only one who sees December as the next successful month? 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
5185 It’s only October 1, but the Christmas decorations have already begun their hostile takeover. 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
5186 What can our board do to spice up diversity 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
5187 Cuts are an option but I think we can head them off. 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
5188 I'm so happy that we put our heads together and approved the project . 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
5189 Lets show them we’re not pumpkin heads . I need you to carve out a smashing plan and present it with a pie chart.. 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
5190 Gentlemen, congratulations ! Our pumpkin spice latte idea was a success in the market. Who knew the answer was right in front of us. 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
5191 as per my last email… 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
5192 Well, this is scary… 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
5193 My proposal will turn those frowns upside down. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
5194 Starting tomorrow, we’ll be chopping off everyone’s head 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
5195 he's the only one who could afford the face lift ! 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
5196 I asked you all for your best carve-out strategies and, frankly, I'm disappointed. 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
5197 You're all a bunch of gutless yes men! 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
5198 None of you fulfilled the minimum requirements so the Gourd Award is going to a squash this year. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
5199 It appears our Spice Purchasing Index is up again this year! 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
5200 Lighten up, I have put you all in for a new carving 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
5201 It's all about tone from the top, I say. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
5202 You wanna see something really scary? 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
5203 I’m sorry, but a permanent frown will no longer be acceptable around this table. 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
5204 We don’t want just another Jack of All Trades! 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
5205 Now that Twitter is opening our path to world domination, I am disconcerted to learn some of you don't even own a horse. 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
5206 C'mon, everybody, turn that frown upside-down! 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
5207 Excuse me. I need to go to the bathroom to relight my candle. I'll be right back. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
5208 ‘We’re being acquired by Starbucks! They said something about needing a kind of spice for their fall beverages. Anyone know anything about that?’ 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
5209 OK team, let's carve those frowns upside-down 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
5210 So in conclusion, let's celebrate our year end results because by this time next week we'll all be a rotted pile of mush..." 1.1711 0.05739 76 67 5 4
5211 Fox News is asking why we have any white pumpkins on the board. 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
5212 Before we can squash that idea, I think we might need to carve some ear holes, and hear it through. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
5213 I think it’s about time we introduced a diversity policy 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
5214 I have decided to increase our equity in Christmas and Thanksgiving. 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
5215 It's settled. For Employee Appreciation Week, we'll give everyone a candle to lighten things up around here. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
5216 Profit is through the roof so heads will roll as per our anual Paradoxical October 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
5217 The worst part of carving my pumpkin was scooping out the brains! 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
5218 Gourd above! Jack,we've squash'd our competitors! 1.1702 0.06321 47 40 6 1
5219 Stop frowning! I've got a way to carve out a bigger market share. 1.1702 0.05541 47 39 8 0
5220 So our first plan to destroy the pumpkin-flavored everything season failed spooktacularly. But I have another one! 1.1702 0.06321 47 40 6 1
5221 On the bright side, rebranding to "Jackie O' Lantern" may give us a whole new face! 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5222 Listen, you country pumpkins! As chairman of the gourd, I'm going to squash these rumors... 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5223 To cut costs, I've decided to hollow out the executive corps. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5224 And H.R. reports that our diversity program remains on track." Gerry Broderick, Milwaukee, W 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5225 Not to worry, you'll all get a piece of the corporate pie. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5226 So who has a 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5227 Our treat-and-trick business strategy is a winner 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5228 October was our best month yet, so why the long faces? 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5229 The end of eggheads 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5230 Oh, fuck! 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5231 Once a day keeps the hippos away. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5232 We'll draw straws to see who's this year's Jack-o'-lantern. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5233 I suggest we revolt,the humanoids had made us into bumpkins for decades! 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5234 That's the best part: our new Ghoulash line gives us year-round visibility. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5235 We need to stop the rot in this company. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5236 Good news, folks, our employer-sponsored health coverage now includes vision and dental benefits to help protect your teeth and eyes, 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5237 Profits are down and heads will roll. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5238 Getting ahead here takes a lot of guts. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
5239 For this manifestation technique to work, we need to stop thinking about pumpkins. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
5240 The buyout is effective October 31: Poinsettia, Inc. takes over. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
5241 It’s the one holiday we can own. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
5242 The rumors are true, we’re reducing headcount again! 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
5243 Who carved your frowns, clowns? 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5244 I am delighted to announce that all you dim-witted, unproductive, pumpkin heads will be fired on Monday, October 31st. 1.1695 0.06466 59 52 4 3
5245 This month our slogan is: "Celebrate the hollow men." 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5246 I mean this in the most unironic way possible but the scary times are upon us. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
5247 The spice latte lobby is too powerful. If we don’t come up with an alternative this year, it’s all foam for us. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
5248 If Barbie wasn’t such an egghead we’d be a dozen 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
5249 The move to a smaller facility in Sleepy Hollow will necessitate some cuts in personnel, I'm afraid... 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5250 Sorry, Jack O., but H.R. informs me that our health insurance doesn't cover stem reconstruction. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5251 Let this general meeting of the Gourd of Directors officially come to order. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
5252 Unfortunately, we'll need to smash 10% of our workforce. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
5253 Gentle men, why all the long faces? 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5254 So, any ideas on how to combat groupthink? 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
5255 Good news, gentlemen. The CDC says we don't need head masks any longer. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5256 Just remember, HE reads all the answers and this IS a trick question. If you have never seen the Great Pumpkin, do you consider that to be a Trick or a Treat?” 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
5257 First order of business: We are discontinuing serving pumpkin spice coffee from the office's coffee stations, 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
5258 This gourd meeting won't last long. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
5259 They've let me know this is only a short term project we are managing. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5260 I'm sorry to say our competitors really carved into our profits this quarter, folks. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5261 You won’t believe what happened last night?! First, there was this girl named Cinderella… 1.1695 0.06466 59 52 4 3
5262 Those in favor of admitting zucchini in our Private Club, raise your hand 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
5263 Scary? Just you wait until John pulls up the quarterly earnings report. 1.1695 0.06466 59 52 4 3
5264 To be successful means we must stay ahead of the carve. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5265 Have we been able to hire a Director of Diversity Equity and Inclusion yet? 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
5266 They are trying to smash the pumpkinarchy! 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
5267 We might as well be the ones that sell the carving kits. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5268 I need a volunteer to show up for Linus this year. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5269 Gentlemen, one of you will be the Corporate Jack-O-Lantern this year. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5270 Mind if I call you Jack? 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5271 For this year’s Mischief Night party you are all going to get smashed. 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5272 #SquashGoals 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5273 There is some bad news about Mr. Squash . I am now in charge . 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5274 So....Should we continue to use Mr Pumkinhead as our official Mascot? All those in favour ..say ARRRGGGHHHHH! 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5275 Jenkins in the finance department has gone gone missing. Peter peter, he was last seen in your office..... 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5276 I'm the great Pumpkin. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5277 Our new client is The Headless Horsemen. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5278 We’ll call it human-spiced latte and sell it only in the fall to inflate demand. 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5279 “Smashing sales, but two peas in a pod are still outstanding in the field.” 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5280 I'm glad you support my campaign to squash the competition! 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5281 So, as you saw in my tweet, I'll be smashing 75% of you. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5282 Remember, I’m only looking for ideas that are Lit! 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5283 I'll be damned! Not one of you has any ideas for new ways to use Pumpkin Spice? 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5284 I love bad news! 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5285 What should we do for Christmas this year?" Yadielys Garci 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5286 Finally, for November’s meeting I suggest Turkey legs. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5287 I move that we hire a new press agent. 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
5288 The time has come to light a fire in you. 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5289 Our return from zoom meetings for our in-office pumpkinfest has been such a success, all future meetings will likewise be in-person only. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5290 I move we sign the Spice Girls as our spokespersons. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5291 Your mother and I will be glad when we ALL can take these things off. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5292 So yes, we must electrify, but you fellas have to find us a way to keep the candle scent! 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5293 PATCHWORK 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5294 Who'd like to be our new Head of Diversity?” 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5295 My new plan will be a smash. 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
5296 There’s a lot of young talent in the patch and I’m afraid you will all be replaced next year. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5297 Good news: No more annual meetings on Halloween. Bad news: Next year, it's Thanksgiving. 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5298 Has anyone else tried salted carmel? 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5299 Business idea: instead of treat, this year we do trick. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5300 The good news, Elon has decided to let me stay on! 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5301 Happy to inform you that no cinderellas were promoted either this year 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5302 I called you all here to let you know that Jack O was terminated last night, by a candle. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5303 I know, we only wanted to scare people a little. But men with orange faces and suits have become truly frightening! 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5304 Spill your guts boys! 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5305 Jack, I'm afraid we're gonna have to let you go. 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
5306 We need to squash the work from home movement 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5307 I’m declaring our diversity hiring efforts a success. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5308 Quarter end figures are in, we are squashing the competition. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5309 Repeat after me “when the frost is on the pumpkin, Hallmark movie loving woman flock to Dunkin’ “ 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5310 This is why we need a DEI department 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5311 So, we're agreed then, these pumpkin-head jokes have got to stop. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
5312 Why so many frowns? You all look like you've been through a pretty rough patch. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
5313 This is going to come as quite a shock to you all, but it’s time you finally know the truth: Pumpkin spice is people. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
5314 We must carve out a new staff reduction plan! 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
5315 As you can see from the presentation, we've gone with "trick" this year. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
5316 And if you have any great ideas, let us know and we'll scoop them right out! 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
5317 Diversity? Why? Even though we're pumpkin heads, deep down we are still white men. 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
5318 Let’s take these pumpkins off our heads, then we can start the meeting. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
5319 I’m afraid Peterson has been canned. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
5320 Is it just me,or is it hot in here? 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
5321 This Board needs to represent a more diverse range of holidays. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
5322 Should we vote to Squash the Deal? 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
5323 All those in favor of removing jack-o-lantern and replacing with he/him say aye. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
5324 So what are you guys going to be for Halloween? 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
5325 Now, as we cap our fiscal year, you need to make appointments with your plastic surgeons. Christmas is coming.” 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
5326 I'm afraid we're going to be making some more cuts. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
5327 Yes, we’ve been squashed, but it’s just for a spell. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
5328 I'd like us to all try and think out of the Jack-o'-lantern. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
5329 In this market,we need guts! 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
5330 Now let's pull the curtains and light up!" Rainier Dischinger 6630 E. 35th Street Yuma, AZ 85365 ldischinger76@gmail.com 619-466-280 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
5331 I’d like to hear from Pumpkin Head! 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
5332 All I am saying is 'Jack O'Latern' should be be more a name for a St Patricks day. Let's try 'John Mc Scary' this year. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
5333 Alright gourds, we need to talk about your inflammation. 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
5334 Although the carve-out wasn’t entirely successful, you may lighten up about next years prospects on the human head market 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
5335 We need an idea that will show them that we’re more than just pumpkin spice. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
5336 Are we having fun yet?! 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
5337 And now for the meeting spice! 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
5338 I know! Let's have a pumpkin pie eating contest at the holiday party! 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
5339 I KNOW; LET’S PLAY DOZENS, 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
5340 All in favor say “Bru-ha-ha-ha-ha!” 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
5341 I'm sorry to inform you that at midnight you'll all be turning back into Teslas. 1.1688 0.05359 77 67 7 3
5342 The times have changed: we're no longer a scare your neighbor pumpkin, but plastic, consumerist pumpkin. 1.1688 0.05669 77 68 5 4
5343 soo...we're pumpkins 1.1688 0.05359 77 67 7 3
5344 Let's carve out time for some fun! 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
5345 Elon Musk has made an offer to pie us. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
5346 How do we market ourselves to an older demographic? 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
5347 Time to carve out a new plan for the fall quarter. Any sharp ideas? 1.1688 0.05359 77 67 7 3
5348 Has it gotten that bad? 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
5349 In an effort to increase diversity, the Board will impose a cap of one holiday mascot per seat. 1.1687 0.05372 83 73 6 4
5350 Don’t anyone ask for Pumpkin Pie for desert. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
5351 Come on, let's carve in some smiles. 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
5352 I'm afraid everyone is getting fun size candy bars in lieu of a year end bonus this year... 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5353 We are going to squash the competition. 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5354 . . . and so as we enter another pie and spiced latte season, I remind you your quarterly figures are due. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
5355 Our growth has now hit a rough patch! 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5356 Bpkumpkin 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5357 Gentlemen, we need ideas. So far our brains are mush. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5358 #LGBT+ 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
5359 I'll have what she's having. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5360 I’d like to thank you all for carving out time in your schedule to be here. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5361 Henceforth, associates carved with paring knives are to cease and desist with the bullying of those formed with serrated ones! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5362 Listen up fellas, we have some doorsteps to rot on 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
5363 So...is everyone good with that? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5364 Investing in urban farming will open up new opportunities to carve out future generations. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5365 More like ‘Pumpkin $pice.’ 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
5366 The rumors are true: the entire management team will have to be recarved. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
5367 As you know we will all soon get our heads kicked in, this is a Last Supper memorial weekend. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5368 At least only one of you is defying the dress code. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5369 We need to up our game. that other orange headed guy polls as much more scary. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5370 Where the jack o' lanterns go after they're used for Halloween every year. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
5371 I can't help but put on a happy face no matter what happens 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5372 So, it’s unanimous, profits before pumpkins. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
5373 I recognize those expressions from last quarter. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
5374 Gentlemen, it’s pie season again… 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
5375 Excellent work everyone! October sales were up, as anticipated, but let's talk Christmas. Any ideas? 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
5376 Jack missed the 12 angry men meeting again. I think he’s getting soft. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5377 Our job is not to scare people, but to add a splash of color to this magazine, the one we are in right now. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5378 The rumors are true. Johnson was caught with an Advent calendar on company property. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5379 In keeping up with the trend, next year we will begin our season in July 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
5380 Today's lunch will include soup, followed by a slice of pie. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5381 A smile is a frown upside down1 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5382 We are heavily investing in R&D that will solve our "rotting on the doorstep" problem 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
5383 Time is running out; we lay out our guts here on the table now before they are ripped out of us in a few days. 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
5384 I'm looking for some ouside the box ideas. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5385 My successor is someone with real fire inside. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5386 I think the boss has taken pumpkin spice season too far! 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5387 Putting on a happy face doesn't make the year end numbers any more tolerable! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5388 We are of one mind 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5389 Put the cider down! Cider is for closers. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5390 Our competitors are in the lead with their sweet potato pies, so I've carved out a new plan that we can sink our teeth into and deliver to everyone's front door." 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
5391 We're reducing headcount but expect body count to remain unchanged. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5392 October earnings are fine. It’s the other eleven months that concern me. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5393 I know this group will understand when I say heads will roll. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5394 Let's just squash the rumor the company is being sold 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5395 I know you're all very upset that Gourdon is leaving the company... 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5396 Don’t worry. Our new benefits package includes dental. 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
5397 Thank you all for ‘carving out’ some time for today’s special board meeting. Uh, sorry. 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
5398 Never forget: We are pumpkins. Not squash. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5399 Cheer up, everyone! I've found a way to keep our heads from imploding after Halloween. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5400 And don't forget to mail your ballots in soon before it's too late. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5401 Our latest focus group shows that Mothers find the term "Jack-O'-Lantern" to have deviant sexual connotations. So we have decided to change the name to "Pump-A-Kin"! 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5402 We're going to carve out some room for the new board members. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5403 I take it you’re not happy with the new ad campaign. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5404 Dire news gentleman. Peter Peter was released on parole. Karla Chirinos 10-27-2022 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
5405 Dear members, I know this is a stressful time but let's try not to lose our heads. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
5406 Once again, we need a volunteer for the pumpkin carving. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5407 Can you believe it? It took them 11 tries before they got the smiley face mouth right! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5408 What are you frowning about? I said we got the Smashing Pumpkins account! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5409 And finally, before you vote on my proposition, let's remember that none of us will have to live with the results of any of our decisions because we will all have rotted away by then! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5410 You’ve done well in October team, but I sense some rot is setting in. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5411 Obviously if we go that route,heads will roll. & goddamit,who approved this phuckin' casual day?! 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5412 Stick together and we can patch up this mistake 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
5413 Okay everyone! Clap your hands and sing along with me: This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine . . . 1.1667 0.06326 66 59 3 4
5414 We need a Jack of All Trades, not a Jack o' Lantern. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5415 PRINCIPLES, inc. PRAISES PETER. PORCH PIRATING PUMPKINS IS PROFITABLE. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
5416 Let's find us a new dentist, shall we? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5417 Let’s put our heads together for Monday. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5418 Thanks, everyone, for accepting this late meeting. I know it is Halloween so we will do our best to be out of here by 5 o'clock, but we have a lot to go over. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5419 I suppose all of you want to know why I am smiling. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
5420 Jack O' Lantern, care to explain why pumpkin sales dipped so low this year? 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
5421 Do you want to be a pie or a spice? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5422 I see all of you have carved out a sad outlook for the company. 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
5423 OK, who's going to Sleepy Hollow this year...? 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5424 I'm pleased to announce a lucrative supply agreement with the product testing division of Louisville Slugger Incorporated 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
5425 Next year we start our campaign on the first day of spring. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
5426 SO, IT IS AGREED, WE WILL TABLE THE DIVERSITY DISCUSSION AND MOVE FORWARD 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
5427 And that's why they call me the Chairman of the gourd. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5428 I'm the chief Twit, and you sad sacks are all fired. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5429 Which one of you smashed my wife? 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5430 I know post-Halloween is usually a down time for us, but I've invested heavily in crypto. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5431 Gourd morning! We have pumpkin to talk about. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
5432 Applications for elf and reindeer positions will be accepted as soon as our Fairy Godmother returns from her Thanksgiving vacation. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5433 Descend on your assigned patch and wait for Linus. It's part of the contract. Then rise" 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5434 Let that sink in. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5435 Now I'm going to tell you what face the company will present to the public for Thanksgiving. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
5436 I am very happy to announce that each of you will receive a 3rd quarter bonus of one pound of pumpkin seeds. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
5437 Huh. I really thought renaming this space ‘The Gourdroom’ would boost morale. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5438 Serving pumpkin pie to the board was not Bob's best decision as CEO. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5439 Alright guys, lets squash the drama 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
5440 The consultant says we have a diversity problem. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
5441 Christmas decorations already 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
5442 Who cares if we have nothing between our ears? 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5443 Whassup pumpkinheads?????? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5444 Costco bought us out and turning us into a pumpkin pie facility just in time for Thanksgiving. Warn your kids! Hahaha. 🎃🪦🥧 #mergersandacquiredtaste #piebedamned #punpkinseedlings 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
5445 Listen pumpkins, let’s just put a patch in it for now. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
5446 Sales have been smashing this last quarter! 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
5447 @newyorkercartoons JACK 🎃F ALL TRADES 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5448 We all going to pump this pimp higher! 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
5449 I'm afraid that this Halloween, some heads are gonna roll. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
5450 - Thank you all for contributing to October's Table of Contents, now let's carve out something really special for Thanksgiving. 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
5451 I’m afraid we’re going to have to go with electric candles for this year’s company patch 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5452 The good news is, legal informs me Ms. Godmother has agreed to settle her sexual harassment claims out of court. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5453 Good news everyone. By the skin of our teeth we were able to delay job cuts until the end of next month. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5454 The motion to undermine women’s rights passes unanimously. Meeting adjourned! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5455 All in favor of unionizing, say pie. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5456 We’re looking to spice things up this quarter 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
5457 Let's not spit seeds, things are not looking gourd for the next quarter. 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
5458 It’s been a rough year, team. We can only afford to ride a donkey through Sleepy Hollow. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
5459 That's an excellent point, Peter. Peter, Peter, what are your thoughts? 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
5460 We know who the lunch thieve is, got them on camera, so come clean 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5461 Corporate is selling your department at the pumpkin patch 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5462 We have a very well established company culture 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5463 No Dan, I don’t believe a pumpkin carving contest would boost office morale. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5464 'As Diversity Officer..' 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
5465 Coffee Inc. wants us to brainstorm a new seasonal drink. 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
5466 So what have you come up with for our Christmas line? 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
5467 In my attempt to turn all these frowns upside down, I am cancelling all pumpkin spice orders for 2023. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
5468 Do you ever think we’re all just a bunch of talking heads? 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
5469 Time to shine bitches 1.1646 0.05231 79 69 7 3
5470 Next in the agenda, who will be chosen to be smashed 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
5471 Well, the US Department of Holidays insists we diversify. That means seats for ... turkeys and bunnies. 1.1644 0.05522 73 64 6 3
5472 I'm going to be smashing some heads soon if our profits don't improve this quarter. 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
5473 All those in favour of a hostile takeover bid for Christmas say 'aye'... 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
5474 And it really carves me up to say this,but we’re going to have to let some of you go. 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
5475 so...we union bust on the eve of halloween 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
5476 Resolved. We'll cut costs and lay-off half the staff. Now let's go out and frighten some children. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
5477 I know you won't smile at today's news because you're not carved that way. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
5478 Gentlemen,I am so so afraid of all of your faces 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
5479 With markets as bad as they are, we’ll have to accept the cabbage patch’s offer. 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
5480 I need thinkers! What, do you all have mush for brains? 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
5481 LINUS IN THE BOARDROOM: Yes, you will now refer to me as Mr. Great Pumpkin. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
5482 I'm guessing a round of pumpkin spice lattes might be inappropriate. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
5483 Why look so glum? I told you, once we got Brexit done - it’s a carve up! 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
5484 This topic could get a bit heady. 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
5485 We need to get beyond the seasonal aspect of this business. Why is no one nodding? 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
5486 Our department head couldn’t make it so we had to settle for pumpkins 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
5487 Fellow gourd members, let’s squash rumors of Halloween downsizing. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
5488 We've carved out a very good business here. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
5489 1929 was a once in a 100 year event but in the event it arrives early we've upgraded to safety glass 2.0... 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
5490 Thanks for doing this. Our marketing team thinks it's important that we get we really get to know our consumers this year. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
5491 Does anyone question who is the head head here? 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
5492 I'm thrilled to announce our merger with General Mills. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
5493 So, what's on the agenda for this Halloween? 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
5494 Good news: our sales have increased 1,000% for the month of October. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
5495 The end is near, friends. I am so lit. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
5496 Even though we've had some growth this quarter, I will still have to cut out some of you. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
5497 We’ve succeeded in carving out a market 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
5498 You heard me correct. Heads are going to roll! 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
5499 Good news. The fellas over at Salmon Spice have accepted the merger offer. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
5500 I see our Patch profits are down, but let's use our brains to raise our Pie revenues in the 4th Quarter. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
5501 Any intel on the Sleepy Hollow day trader? 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
5502 Sales are down so we won’t be handing out Christmas bonuses this year. But to make up for it, we’re offering free pumpkin spice lattes in the cafeteria. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
5503 I assume we're all contributing our fair share towards this year's pumpkin pies! 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
5504 What say you Jack? 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
5505 Although we thought we'd squash the competition, we've been scooped and gotta face it— our pitch for the "Air Gourdan" ad campaign was empty-headed. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
5506 The lattes aren’t selling. People find the sriracha overwhelming. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
5507 After this buyout is approved, we can all begin enjoying our days hideously rotting away on our porches. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
5508 One of you has been selected for the Smashing Pumpkin Position 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
5509 Really? No one has any bright ideas? 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
5510 You know the drill, boys. Classic pumpkin and dump! 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
5511 don’t worry, I saw this on TikTok. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
5512 Sure, I could have sent an email or a quick zoom invite, but I just wanted a face to face to see where everybody’s head is. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
5513 Will the annual pumpkin spice board meeting come to order? 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
5514 After much thought it looks like we will be going with Pumpkin Pie this year. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
5515 Nowhere is our focus on diversity and inclusion more evident than in our leadership team 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
5516 Great! We’ve cut out vision. Cut out dental, cut out nose and throat. Our benefits package is absolute skeletal. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
5517 Does anyone in this company have any fire in them?! 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
5518 We will be rebranding to Headless Horsemen and Associates effective immediately. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
5519 Great diversity meeting everyone- love all your ideas" 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
5520 Here’s the plan for not losing our heads this year. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
5521 So as you can see there was a typo in this morning's memo. I called for a *board* meeting, not a *gourd* meeting. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
5522 BLM Executive training session 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
5523 There'll be some changes, yes—but rest assured, corporate won't be cancelling Pumpkin-Head-Mondays! 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5524 and now for the good news, our new CEO's name is Jack 1.1639 0.06264 61 54 4 3
5525 I'd like you all to carve out some headspace for the next quarter. 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5526 You're all getting replaced on November 1 with turkeys, but I'm being kept around for some reason. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5527 I have a smashing idea. 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5528 I have good news. Pumpkin spice lattes are back in season! 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5529 What is the latest news from Sleepy Hollow? 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5530 Our seed funding is running out. We’ll need to carve out costs to save this company. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5531 He's smiling because ... wait a second, why is he smiling? 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5532 I'm looking for someone with that special candlelit twinkle in their eyes. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5533 We're putting a new face on for Halloween. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5534 We dragged ourselves up from the doorstep 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5535 COME UP WITH SOMETHING! IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT! 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5536 Pretty soon our minds will turn to mush 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5537 I'm sensing total employee burn-out by the end of this month. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5538 This year we'll need your votes in promptly BEFORE your heads start rotting. 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5539 Why all the glum faces? C'mon guys smile. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5540 Now that our hit man has taken care of Ichabod, we need to elect a new chairman. 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5541 No one get too smashed this Mischief night,okay? 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5542 Gentlemen, we are gathered here to read the will of Jack O'Lantern. He left you no candy or money, but did leave you each a copy of "Keto Diet for Country Bumpkins" 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5543 Next year for Halloween costume, let’s think outside the box. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5544 We can't light up our sales figures if we don't put a smile on our faces. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5545 The good news is this year I'm not waiting until long after Halloween to throw you out. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5546 Let’s not lose our heads over this one gentlemen 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5547 People, think! What kind of products could we produce other than Christmas novelties? 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5548 Just carving out a little time to let you know we’ve cancelled Halloween this year and are moving forward with marketing Christmas in October 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5549 Sales have been great all month, but we are not going to have a strong finish. 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5550 We need to focus upon year-end goals. I can already see the light in some of your eyes flicker and heads turning to mush 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5551 welcome to our first session of diversity training 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5552 We are the biggest share of the pie 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5553 All right, now that’s settled. Let’s get to carving up the budget! 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
5554 That's great and all, but does anyone know how to scare the squirrels? 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5555 The jack-o-lantern CEO explains the benefits of Elon Musk’s takeover bid to the company’s executive board 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5556 With those ugly looks, you’d think someone cut your brains out. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5557 And if you give a WRONG answer,we turn you over to the squirrels. Any questions? 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5558 As you're aware, this is a busy month for the Executive Gourd. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5559 You will all be pies before a fortnight. 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5560 This way, nobody will be able to blame us after Elon changes the company’s name to “Twit” 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5561 We've hired a Lobbyist to make Halloween a National Holiday 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5562 You're all looking a bit lightheaded at the minute 1.1636 0.06749 55 49 3 3
5563 Instead of regular coffees I got us something new, it’s called a PSL. 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5564 Lead, follow, or get smashed into oblivion. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5565 I want to say a special thank you to our Diversity Equity and Inclusion Team this season for coming up with the ingenious idea of the Pumpkin-Chai Spice Latte. 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5566 Gentleman, business is boo-ming 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5567 So who’s taking lead on the spring collection? 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5568 It’s time to make you all glow like moonlight!” 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5569 Welcome Gourd Of Directors 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
5570 I’m sorry to say I don’t think this group is cut out for the project. 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
5571 'Yes, Johnson, I'm sure we're ALL happy you didnt say banana, but i still feel you're not understanding the project.' 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
5572 IT'S Mr. POTATO HEAD AGAIN. HE'S TALKING MERGER. 1.1628 0.04924 86 75 8 3
5573 I know this job can leave you feeling hollow. Remember there is always pie. 1.1628 0.06597 43 37 5 1
5574 I think I will come in as a turkey on the next dress down Friday 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
5575 This is your warning. Increase sales up or pumpkins will roll! 1.1625 0.05169 80 70 7 3
5576 I want to begin this meeting by saying, I had no idea that the newest COVID booster shot had a pumpkin-related side effect.” #pumpkinseaso 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
5577 So it looks like we are going to have to stop using the company card. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
5578 You will all try our new product - pumpkin spice condoms. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
5579 I understand some of you have expressed reservations about our investment in pumpkin spice this year. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
5580 Is there any way we can replace apple pie with pumpkin pie for the Fourth of July? 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
5581 Speaking of profit, I am confident that for once we won't get in over our heads this year. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
5582 Listen up Jacks, we're carving away your Christmas bonus. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
5583 On 3rd down I'll carry the football and the rest of you will fake it. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
5584 Which one is Shannon? 1.1622 0.05781 74 66 4 4
5585 You’re right, Jack. We do need to put a new face on Halloween. Any suggestions? 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
5586 as members of the board, I hope you’ll join our corporate pac’s contribution to Senators Squirrel and Mold. Tempers may run high, but their tax policies really are in Lantern Corp’s best interest. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
5587 Jack B. Nimble and Jack B. Quick,you stay. The rest of you Jacks hit the road! 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
5588 Unfortunately, due to inflation, we've burned through our seed funding faster than expected. Growth prospects for next harvest look dismal... but Starbucks has approached us with an offer 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
5589 #trick or tweet 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
5590 Our profits are down this quarter ,so no treats 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
5591 In order for us to afford to carve out new territories, I’m afraid there will be more drastic cuts to middle management. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
5592 The new CEO will be here tomorrow. He is formerly a member of the Smashing Pumpkins 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
5593 Unfortunately, we’ll need to make some cuts this month 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
5594 Meeting to discuss compliance with the office composting policy 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
5595 There's to be some downsizing, gentleman. Apropos, perhaps you noticed the couple of teenaged punks waiting in the outer office. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
5596 We will be implementing a new diversity program. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
5597 ...and with a team like you, we're really going to squash the competition." 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
5598 Good news! We’re merging with a composting company and reducing headcount. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
5599 Now, I know Halloween is a bad time for everyone but... 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
5600 It's been suggested the company needs more diversity. You all will be replaced with nuts, pigs in the blanket and Mr. Potato Head. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
5601 Let's be honest, we are all pumpkin heads here. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
5602 No Fair,, this pumpkin head can smiles at his own jokes 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
5603 The good news is free admission to every haunted house from here to Sleepy Hollow. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
5604 It's pumpkin season - meaning, our sales will be going through the roof and we're going to have to make some sacrifices. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
5605 I’ve carved 10% off the bottom line, and a toothless wizard on Felix. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
5606 It is sad your candles all went out at the same time! 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
5607 I totally support diversity in our hiring. Do you all agree? 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
5608 We need to carve some more optimistic faces around here. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
5609 Thank you all for carving out the time to be here 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
5610 We have to think about diversifying! 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
5611 Gourd big or go home. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
5612 Anyone who wants a raise is out of their gourd. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
5613 My creator used the hand-mixer hack. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
5614 The drought is shrinking your head, please advise if your economic squeeze begins to hurt, if so I can recommend a very good health person who is not a doctor, Thank God. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
5615 I've entered y'all in a pie-eating contest. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
5616 What are you so smiley about? Have you seen the numbers? 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
5617 Volunteers to give your head for pies this year? 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
5618 We should raise our service charges for the coming Halloween 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
5619 Okay team, how do we get Santa Claus to change his entire brand? 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
5620 Our new head of security is.. Peter Peter. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
5621 So this is the best we can do for Halloween? Any other idea? 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
5622 At first I thought the idea of wearing pumpkin-heads during meetings was ridiculous but now that I've tried it I kind of like it. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
5623 First, the bad news--the witch has a new recipe for pumpkin pie. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
5624 Who's on the chopping ... er, carving ... block for today? 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
5625 Jack O'Mantern to team leads "Carve your brains out; light your souls on fire to keep me warm!" 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
5626 Since none of you were able to squash the problem, we are going way of all flesh, effective immediately. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
5627 Thanks for all your gourd ideas for our upcoming pitch! 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
5628 - “People, I’m gonna need you to put those few remaining pumpkin seeds in your brain together, and work with me here, okay”? 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
5629 Vine! Didn’t you send the memo about frowning this year? This election is all about happy! happy! happy! in SPITE of the state of the Patch! 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
5630 No, the theme of this year is not going to be Pulp Fiction 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
5631 First on the agenda is our new Chief DEI Officer. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5632 Come November 1st, you’re all fired! 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5633 Friends - I'd say we have the seed capital right here in this room. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5634 Well, gentlemen! I see you're read the memo on my golden parachute. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5635 The good news is that there's a spice shortage. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5636 The Federal Reserve manufacturing a recession 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5637 Great news! It looks like we may just close the deal with Musk before our heads rot and collapse in on themselves. 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5638 The firm’s commitment to diversity in leadership remains a work in progress. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5639 It’s been a tough year, but your faces should light up when you hear this news. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5640 There's a rumor going around that there will be pie tomorrow. Who's in? 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5641 Uhmm, . . . who thought this was a clever and novel idea? 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5642 So, not one of you have been able to rhyme with ‘orange’. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5643 Who’s Gordy? I want to hear your thoughts on this Christmas season. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5644 Yeah, Halloween is a bad time for all of us but just think how warm you'll be with a candle inside and a newly cared happy face! 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5645 Hollywood wants us in a movie called “Eleven Angry Pumpkins”. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5646 It’s less of a Humpty Dumpty thing than a budget thing. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5647 The pumpkin pie division of the corporation thanks you in advance for your sacrifice. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5648 Legal, We need to send a cease and desist to The Smashing Pumpkins” 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5649 Excellent! Everyone is onboard with the corporate dress code. 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5650 The treat is my bonus and the trick is you're all being let go. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5651 Holloween yes, but are you familiar with The Day of the Dead? 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5652 All in favor of squashing that idea… 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5653 Remember now, on the 31st, I want you all to go out on your front porch, put a candle inside your head and light it. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5654 Men, we have to address the spice percentages in next year's batch 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5655 Sex discrimination lawsuit settled. We're required to hire more Jills. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5656 You just need to think happy to be happy! Now someone get a knife and let’s turn those frowns upside down! 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5657 Thank you for caring out time to be here. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5658 Well boys, we've come a long way from the pumpkin patch 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5659 We’d like to carve out more time to illuminate the plans we have 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5660 I suppose you’re wondering why I carved you all here today. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5661 We need to carve a new niche. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5662 Everyday is Thanksgiving at our company. 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5663 Now, which of you are thoroughly bored? 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5664 Let's discuss our carvings. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5665 Q4 was great for us! Now, tell me what you’ve got planned for Q1. 1.1613 0.06168 62 55 4 3
5666 Gentlemen, as you know, Halloween is on a Monday. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5667 The fiscal numbers are in, and we will be carving out the top half of our staff” 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5668 I’d like to announce my retirement. Oh and the board decided to open up a D&I office. 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5669 I know, this meeting could have been an email. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5670 Now listen good, gourds are going to roll if spice takes top billing 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5671 They’ve carved out a sizable piece of our business but we know it’s seasonal. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5672 Let’s tell them it’s a pumpkin supply chain issue. 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5673 now that we've carved out a place for ourselves in the market we're going to Jack-o'-lantern up the prices! 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5674 What other ideas do we have to profit off of pumpkin spice season. 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5675 Mandatory meeting in-person board meeting after “camera-off”Zoom calls… but make it festive 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5676 Before we begin, who said I don't have any guts? 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5677 Who wants whipped cream? 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5678 I want to thank Egbert for thinking of unborn gourds as another wedge issue to distract voters while we continue to rob them blind of half of all economic gains in the past forty years. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5679 I got the carved smile. I am CEO. 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5680 Our next meeting will be about the advantages using the recipe Pi. 1.1607 0.06125 56 49 5 2
5681 There’s a reason that we don’t have any pumpkin head broads With us today ! 1.1607 0.06634 56 50 3 3
5682 We're starting layoffs because HR says we 'need more diversity.' 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5683 You each carved out a niche for yourselves. 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5684 Anonymous voting is one of the prized rituals of our lodge 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5685 Well this should spice up the October Board Meeting. 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5686 Once a year we agree. Free Pumpkin spice coffee. 1.1607 0.06125 56 49 5 2
5687 Gentlemen, I’m sure you’re wondering why we’re all carved here.” 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5688 Easter Pumpkin Hunts”, “Rosh Hashanah Pumpkin Hunts”, “Christmas Pumpkin Patch Caroling”, 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5689 I know things seem a little scary right now... 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5690 And finally an announcement: the city’s new garbage truck with the grinder can take us all on the day after Halloween. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5691 Ok, which one of you couldn’t keep your wife? 1.1607 0.06125 56 49 5 2
5692 We are looking forward to diversifying our team with witches, goblins and ghosts in the near future. 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5693 Gentlemen, margins are slim again this quarter, so we’re looking at more cuts. 1.1607 0.06634 56 50 3 3
5694 I may look like I’m smiling but that’s just the way I carved my pumpkin before I saw our quarterly earnings. You’re all fired. 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5695 Now that we're in the gourd-room, we need to do something spooky for Halloween. We need to give them pumpkin to talk about. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5696 You don't improve your company position by looking like your boss! 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5697 We're going to produce a YouTube video on 'How to dispose of your pumpkin.' 1.1607 0.06125 56 49 5 2
5698 I'm about to start smashing heads,you are all going soft on me! 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5699 Well actually, we’re Irish. 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5700 Let’s talk about about how we can improve our company diversity before the Holidays 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5701 You’ve all heard the expression, the fish rots from the head? 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5702 OK, rule #1..if you want to stay employed here..no staying out all night on the porch! 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
5703 No leek with us? 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
5704 It's unanimous: the company spice of the month is pumpkin! 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
5705 It looks like we have a gourdian knot of a political problem related to the color of our faces. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5706 Board of gourds 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5707 So, while it is true we will all start to disintegrate soon, I would remind that profits are up this quarter. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5708 I would love to hear your suggestions about how we can promote our brand throughout the year. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
5709 This year, we will have pumpkin pie for our Halloween party 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5710 I call this Gourd Meeting to order. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5711 McKinsey says our future is in pies. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5712 You heard me. Pumpkin spice latte. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5713 Now, let us see who can light up with an idea as bright as ‘pumpkin spice’. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5714 Raise your hand if you are recyclable." 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5715 At this company, we TRICK our customers with respect. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
5716 So what’s the latest Spice Pumpkins? 🎃 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
5717 I'm happy to announce several of you will be transferred to our pie division after the fourth quarter finalizes. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5718 Listen up everyone…I have a hot soup for you! 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5719 Yes, I do believe these are as effective as facemasks. 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
5720 Let's turn those frowns upside down. Anyone bring a knife? 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
5721 Hear me out: Human. Spice. Lattes! 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
5722 Who ordered pie? 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
5723 Our spooks are on the rise this month 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
5724 This last quarter will be tough. I will need you all to burn your candles at both ends. 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
5725 Seems that guy we called ‘Punkin Head’ married the owners daughter. 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
5726 We're carving our way, slit by slit, to a better future. 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
5727 Impressive... let's see Paul Allen's pumpkin. 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
5728 I am pleased to announce that my son is going to marry his long-time girlfriend, Sara Lee. 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
5729 The Office of Research is still looking for Peter-Peter the pumpkin eater 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
5730 Let's pump up those profits--I know you kin. 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
5731 And lastly, some third graders will be here at ten for a “pumpkin craving contest”, whatever that is. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
5732 There have been some budget cuts; our department is getting carved. 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
5733 Scary headcount strategy. 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
5734 At least the headhunter came in during late October instead of the beginning of the quarter. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
5735 The hallow-means of the corporate world 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
5736 It’s no surprise I can never get ahead 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
5737 ...but the good news is we've squashed the competition! 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
5738 Quarterly shareholders meeting of Ichabod Cranes, Inc. 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
5739 These in-person meetings are even spookier than I remember. 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
5740 Unfortunately Jack, you're fired! 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5741 You guys have to find a different carver! 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
5742 Think of it this way, in politics, we'd be a quorum, here, we're just a patch. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5743 We've figured out how to extend our market share beyond Halloween. Congratulations to all of you on your appointment to the Thanksgiving pie team. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
5744 Gentleman, thank you for attending this emergency meeting of the Gourd. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5745 All I can say is we need to make a few cuts 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5746 Trust me, the layoff is going to be a smashing success! 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5747 Now, gentlemen, my head may literally be empty, but I think the growth we've experienced this month will continue unabated. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5748 Corporate wants a little more diversity. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5749 I think we might have time to carve out a new plan before the 31st 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5750 Did anyone else see 'The Smashing Pumpkins' at Madison Square Garden? 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5751 I can tell you with absolute confidence that we have no intention of letting any of you glow. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5752 Given we’ll all be mush in two weeks’ time, shall we shift to a shorter-term investment strategy? 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5753 Who’s ready for the Turkey Helmets?! 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5754 Draw numbers to see who will become the first pie. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5755 C'mon y'all, you should be thrilled to learn you are genetically modified! 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5756 There's no sugar coating it. These projections are scary. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5757 i'm sick and tired of all the projection 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5758 So, are we all like minded? 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
5759 Due to current market conditions and forecasted spoilage, some of you won't be here next month. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5760 I'm tired of these icky bods. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
5761 Will the real Agent Orange please stand up! 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5762 ...but then you will all turn back into yourselves at midnight. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5763 October profits are down, heads will probably be smashed tomorrow. Ann Fowler, Bethesda, MD 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5764 Hey, I was just talking about pie CHARTS... 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5765 So glad to see you all read my email. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5766 Don't worry, it will all be over soon... 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
5767 To help with the budget, we'll be experiences layoffs at the start of November. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5768 Unfortunately I just spoke to Mr. Musk and he is not done carving. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5769 The consultant came up with this super fun alternative to masks!" 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5770 A major soup manufacturer wants to liquidized our stock 1.1587 0.06074 63 56 4 3
5771 So, working on a follow up on the pumpkin spice brainchild? 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5772 I called this meeting so we could patch things up. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5773 It always pumps me to see all the kins together! 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
5774 Ok. Let’s vote now to ban “Peter Peter pumpkin eater from future cartoons”. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5775 …and, The Smashing Pumpkins will be performing at our holiday party! 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5776 I'm getting the impression no one is happy with the corporate relocation to Fargo 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5777 'Headless maybe, but heartless!?' 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5778 let's go for some pumpkinotion!!!! 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5779 So, who wants my famous pumpkin pie soufflé recipe? 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
5780 For this meeting I only assembled this company’s brightest heads! 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5781 Gentlemen, the numbers are in, and it is safe to say it was a gourd year 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5782 Sorry to break the news, gentlemen, but they’re carving up our department. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5783 For this motion to pass, we need gourd approval 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5784 So, we're making some cuts next quarter. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
5785 Our merger with Acme Spice has been approved so now we are definitely on our way to total seasonal domination. 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
5786 If you say that again, I’ll put you in inventory. 1.1585 0.05340 82 73 5 4
5787 I am the pumpkin head!–no, I mean as the head of the pumpkins, not–oh, shush, Fred! 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5788 We’re all smiles now, but pie season is coming 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5789 Who wants a latte? 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5790 Your gourds have been cut. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
5791 Looks like I need to rethink these midnight meetings. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5792 Put a candle in your head and rot this quarter. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5793 Will someone please illuminate me?” 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5794 Our female pumpkin-head employees are starting to grumble. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5795 Let’s table any mention of pumpkin heads until next quarter’s analyst call. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5796 Then it is decided. We will purchase the Trump hotels anonymously and rename them Halloween Inn. 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
5797 Last guy that spoke up got squashed. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5798 As you can all see, this doesn't make it a level playing field because I'm still the only happy one. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5799 Smashing ideas all! 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5800 Sorry, guys, my tie's the longest. Not to squash your pathetic wannabe egos. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
5801 Ok, who wants pumpkin pie for desert? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5802 I’m proud to announce that our new DEI coordinator will be ‘The Headless Horseman’ , originally from Sleepy Hollow. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5803 Gentlemen! We're facing crashing numbers, our stock has tanked, our brand is hated, and we have seeds and goo for brains. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5804 You will all notice that I don’t have ears, however, I can read lips! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5805 Your job is to help me figure out how they stole my election. john straayer, ft. collins, co 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5806 With that kind of attitude, this new patch is not getting past beta. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5807 It seems you’re unhappy with this quarter’s carve-outs. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5808 The regulator ruled this board is insufficiently inclusive and ordered us to add a rutabaga, a cabbage and a carrot. 1.1579 0.06522 57 51 3 3
5809 Gentlemen. It’s Happy Halloween. Happy. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5810 So we’re all agreed? No candles at the party! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5811 I'm pleased to announce our merger with the biggest Pumpkin Pie Co. worldwide, now who is interested in taking the lead? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5812 The latest state of the markets has left us all spooked. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5813 Near zero pumpkin lattes are the next normal 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5814 So we agree that we will rot within 48 hours? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5815 Anyone have ideas on how we avoid the annual November stock free-fall? 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5816 I just heard they’re putting in a new pie shop, around the corner on Broadway! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5817 I can see through all of you! 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5818 Let's cut short all that speculative talk about the uncertain future. It's going to be a pie. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5819 For our next meeting I expect you to carve your faces into a smile. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5820 I think that we should carve out a new distinctive policy that would allow for individual differences. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5821 The company said we need to put our ‘heads together’ to create the next pumpkin spice latte flavor. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
5822 The new Healthcare plan passed. All lower level executives will become pie in the next month. Consider yourselves organ donors. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5823 Where do we pick-up the dry cleaning voucher? 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
5824 Management has ordered a new look this year: no more triangles. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
5825 Let's cut to the core, gentlemen. O, O, Ouch! 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5826 Next year we will to squash the competition! 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5827 Let me be clear: Employee diversity has been and always will be a top strategic priority for this company 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5828 No, Jack, I’m quashing your zucchini suggestion— not “squashing” it. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5829 Good News, Corporate is relocating to Sleepy Hallow! 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5830 We can't say if the bid from Elon Musk is a trick or a treat. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5831 So as you can see pumpkin-men Halloween shares will return back to their normal value this year. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
5832 Lets have a big smile and raise a glass of cider to Jackie O'Lantern, our company's new ambassador to Ireland. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5833 It's 2022, so it's time we squash the lack of diversity in this company. The Gourd has voted to carve some of you off the team and add more women. Looks like we’ll be seeing a lot more melons around the office, amiright? 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
5834 It's a strange change for all of us to be sure, but in good news, I've been told that it's only fish that rots from the head 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5835 Don't look so glum. We'll get the sales numbers where they ought to be next October... 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
5836 If we don't carve out enough of the budget, heads will roll! 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5837 Repeat after me: Peter Peter pumpkin eater 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
5838 We all know how we got here and it was not as fun as it looks. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
5839 Gentlemen, I think it’s time we break free from the shackles of corporate life. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5840 Hi. I’m your new Board President, Sam Hain. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
5841 You understand a fir tree has no mouth? 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5842 So, who's gonna go on Mr. Parkers lawn tomorrow? 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5843 I say McNabb, did the wife tell you to leave your stem at home this morning? 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5844 Looking forward to a low megaton Thanksgiving dinner. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5845 I will build a great patch. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5846 @doniamellouli "aren't we all!" 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
5847 Sales are up. So how can we make em' buy like this every day 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
5848 So. . . Who has an idea to make Halloween better this year? 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5849 What do you mean there’s no WFH this year? 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
5850 I believe it’s time we’ve carved out our own future 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5851 We need to own horror! I suggest we buy twitter. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5852 This is what it will take to keep the pina colada factions at bay. 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
5853 Though it pains me to say it, I’m smiling because we’ve made some cuts. 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
5854 Our goal today is to carve out a plan. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
5855 Don't worry about November projections, October is looking great! 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
5856 Everyone in favor say, BOO! 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
5857 Ok Pumpkin Heads, I call this meeting to order. 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
5858 Any of you other Jacks have a better idea?!? 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
5859 Our revenue from trick or treating has exponentially increased this year. Congratulations! 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
5860 You hollow heads have a seedy reputation . I'll carve a new face on the spice biz . And you're all going into the pie division. 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5861 You're all Jacks of your own trades, and I want to bring that to light. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5862 Heads will roll if we don’t make our numbers! 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5863 Cheer up! All gourd members are getting a raise. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5864 Then we are agreed on the pecan pie ad buy 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5865 Cheer up, it's Halloween! 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5866 Our hostile corporate stock takeover will be a piece of pumpkin pie. 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5867 It doesn't appear that originality is our company's strong suit. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5868 One of you has lost their inner flame 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5869 I can sense that some around this table are afraid of ending up in soup. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5870 Our shareholders are calling the board 'A bunch of pumpkinheads'. How do we want to respond? 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5871 I need a volunteer for the pumpkin pie 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
5872 Frankly I’m sick of being bald. Raise your hand if we should opt for toupees. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5873 I’m glad we all agree on that! 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5874 As I look around the room I see it's sinking in. The 44 billion dollar deal will be finalized by Halloween. 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
5875 Brace yourselves, guys, our stalks are up. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5876 I see I'm going to have to to keep explaining next year's strategic imperatives until the light bulbs go on in your heads. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5877 They're gonna think we're grown-ups! 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5878 My carver put a smile on my face but alas, I am a squash like the rest of you . 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5879 Good morning, thank you for attending the Empty Head Conference. 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5880 Let's think outside the Patch. I'd like to shift the vibe to something more meta positive! 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5881 We're calling it the 'Pump Organization II'! 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5882 Our diversity stats are off. We need more faces like mine. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5883 Resolved, that we reward loyalty and celebrate Good old Charlie Brown's 72 Halloween by my finally showing up in his pumpkin patch this year. All in favor? 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5884 As you may know, we need volunteers for the annual pumpkin smash. 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5885 Next quarter we need to carve out some fresh ideas. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5886 You’ll all be expected to dress up for the office Halloween party. And no you can’t come as a pumpkin. 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
5887 So, how do we trick ‘em this year, Jack? 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
5888 Lan, your tern 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5889 I have just sold the company to Donald J. Trump. He said he wanted a boardroom where he could look around and fit in. 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
5890 This season’s agenda includes “Strategies to diversify our workforce.” 1.1562 0.05984 64 57 4 3
5891 They didn't believe me when I said we'd make a killing offing their heads! 1.1562 0.05984 64 57 4 3
5892 Order of the day: cornering the autumn markets. Good headway with hot drinks to date. We need new ideas... Pumpkin latkes anyone? 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5893 Todays agenda - how do we put the ‘jack’ back in ‘o-lantern’ 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5894 They toasted our seeds!! 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5895 I presented "cost-carving" to the board and they loved it! 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5896 They’re calling themselves Jill-O-Lanterns. Ie. enemy #1. 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5897 We've booked a great band for the company party! Their leader Billy Something just signed the contract 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5898 Ichabod Inc. is gaining ground in the covered bridge market…what do you suppose we do about that? 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5899 Does anyone know of an influential squash that might be a good addition to the team? 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
5900 The board has voted to replace your heads with smiling pumpkins. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
5901 Unfortunately we have to furlough the entire company until 10/1/23 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
5902 Let's not jack about. Christmas is winning. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5903 Managers will not refer to anyone as ‘pumpkin,’ regardless of they identify. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5904 I am happy to announce our newest client to the firm, The Smashing Pumpkins. Joseph P. Malecki III Langhorne, PA 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5905 Sorry, but only one of us can be Jack. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5906 We're going to dispense with reviewing the quarterly forecast, as you'll all be pie before then 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5907 I AM upset about the layoffs. I just wore the wrong pumpkin head today. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5908 Third gourder numbers are down. Heads are gonna roll! 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5909 Better to be pumpkin heads than have your heads up your asses, right? 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5910 It's good to see everyone come so prepared for the end-of-quarter gourd meeting. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5911 Unfortunately I have bad news, additional cuts are coming! 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
5912 ... and we'll be paying this year's bonuses in pumpkin spice! 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5913 I have called you all here today, and I thought we could put our heads together, to discuss the decline in market shares and the upcoming pie season. Any volunteers? 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5914 Agreed ! Ichabod Crane is to blame for this year’s downturn ! Headless from HR will deal with it ! 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5915 Ok,raise your hand if your name is not Jack. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5916 We're adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired. Fourth prize is you're pie. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5917 Good news gentlemen! Two of you will be moving over to the pie section by Thanksgiving." 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5918 Because I, as the Chairman of the Gourd, said so. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5919 Who cares about the stockholder's?! we will be rotten in a week. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5920 We'll be downsizing on November 1st but there will be openings in the Pie Department later in the month. 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
5921 I am happy to report that we will not reinstate the mask policy. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5922 Glowing reviews? Don’t count on it. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5923 This emergency meeting, is about the massive shortage of 'Jack'-O-Lanterns', this year. To get to the bottom of this crisis, we are asking for each of you, to surrender your pumpkin seeds, for examination. One of you, are shooting blanks! 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
5924 It would be a lot easier to reach consensus if our expressions weren't carved. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5925 I hear the cafeteria’s lunch special today is pumpkin soup. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5926 I'm sorry, we can't take Halloween off for religious reasons. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5927 Someone’s gotta keep the lights on in here. Roger, it’s your turn this year. 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
5928 Good, so you all remembered to carve the pumpkin from the bottom this year 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5929 With October’s projections this year we can either Trick or Treat. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5930 I called this team meeting because everyone seems to be acting a little seedy this time of year 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5931 I know you were all looking forward to taking off October 31st, but Im going to need all of you to work on Halloween 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5932 Pumpkin spice margins are nice 👌 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5933 So which one of you is going on my stoop? 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5934 CEO to gourd members: “Well team, after 30 years I am officially folding the company to pursue my love of horseback riding!” 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5935 And as a ‘thank you’ for all of your hard work this season, we will be hosting a pumpkin smash celebration at the end of the month! 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
5936 I feel a little lightheaded today... 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5937 Just put on a happy face while I squash your plans and carve out my own 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5938 The good news Halloween will soon be over. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
5939 I'm bringing in a top-notch surgeon to try and turn your frowns upside down. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
5940 It's time to tell your creators to pack their knives and go home! 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
5941 And for the November election we'll be called the trick or treat party. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
5942 Let's hear what Jack thinks about this. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
5943 Our plan to put pumpkin spice flavoring everything is going very, very well. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
5944 I can tell from your faces, next year's theme should be on the lighter side. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
5945 I was brought in to help turn this place around 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
5946 I am spooked by our diversity. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
5947 All in favor of banning the music of Smashing Pumpkins say aye 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
5948 I can tell by your faces that out post-Halloween sales forecast looks grim. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
5949 let's all get smashed! 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
5950 Gourds are beating us again this year. How are we doing with the anti-smashing campaign? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
5951 So I'll just tell you: we've been bought out by an anonymous party,we're relocating to the North Pole,and operations are henceforth subcontracted to elves. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
5952 And remember, under the law you can ignore use the doorman when he directs you to the service elevator. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
5953 And don't forget to turn your watches 1 hour forward next week ... just joking! 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
5954 It was that time of year again - to elect the chairman of the gourd 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
5955 It's been brought to my attention that there have talks of unionizing and I'm here to squash that once and for all. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
5956 We’re really carving out the competition this quarter 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
5957 A) Look. Eleven pumpkin heads around the table. 11! That's a prime number. B) We'll all have to play offense and defense, but there are eleven of us. We don't even need helmets. C) GENTLEMEN! Simmer down. Some of us are getting big heads here. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
5958 Too late, Halloween's over! 1.1548 0.04936 84 74 7 3
5959 The rumors are true. We’re merging with Snowman corp. 1.1548 0.03970 84 71 13 0
5960 But on the bright side, Research and Development has found a rhyme for "orange." 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5961 Listen hear you pumpkin heads!...we're doing it may way. Second option So, we do this my way or your all pies! 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5962 Sorry, we won't be dressing up for Halloween this year. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5963 Mr. O'Lantern the vote is ten to one against the grim grin. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5964 I hate to bring it up, but it’s that time of year again. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5965 Next on the agenda is our personnel diversity policy. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5966 We’ve decided to go into the Pumpkin Pie space. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5967 All in favor of apple pie next year, smile. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5968 Thank you all for abiding by our ongoing mask requirements. Designs for each of the next twelve months will be in your inboxes today. November's turkey beak... 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5969 Since only I am DONALD PUMPKINS,,, you must always worship me as I use the best woids in saying;,, Pumpkin, Camera, Man, Women on TV! 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5970 for Glengary salesman of the month, a brand new Cadillac! salesman number two …“you’re fired!” Ha ha, just kidding … but seriously—for everyone else—a new set of carving knives 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5971 What if we carve the humans' faces this year? 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5972 Let's put our heads together and come up with a smashing Halloween! 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5973 STOP LOOKING SO UPSET! THE OLD KLAN OUTFITS ARE TOO IDENTIFIABLE 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5974 They don't call me "The Great Pumpkin" for nothing! 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5975 You are all pie 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5976 I wanted to carve out the last few minutes to illuminate the face of our newest member, welcome Jack. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5977 Let's throw some ideas today, but nothing seedy. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5978 You all have been chosen for the position of "head'" of the festival. 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
5979 We’ll all get a huge bonus! However, with the higher prices, most of your families will be left in the field 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5980 Senior management has asked that you smash yourselves November 1, to save costs. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5981 How can you possibly say we're all alike? 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5982 We've got to stop the pumpkin patch mania. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5983 And . . . the Board has decided that only Senior Vice Presidents and above will be spared being made into pies. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5984 Best quarter ever! So let’s turn those frowns upside dow…. Oops. Sorry about that. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5985 It will take all your brains and guts to implement the company's new dental plan. 1.1538 0.06372 52 46 4 2
5986 I second the motion. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5987 I am keen to pump the meeting! 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5988 pumpkin spice lattes for everyone! 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5989 Welcome to the Twitter Board of Directors meeting. I think we have a great road ahead 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5990 I know we’re all cut up about this week 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5991 'Good news, pumpkin spiced latte sales are up...' 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5992 It would appear our HR department needs renaming 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5993 This year’s team building event will be a Smashing Pumpkins concert live in Transylvania. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5994 I’ve called this meeting to inform you that most of you are gonna get kicked to the curb this time of the year 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5995 I mean how many people are honestly affected by contact-dermatitis for this pumpkin head trend anyhow? 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5996 Yes, I know the pie sector is an unpopular choice, but the c-suite decided that we need to focus on carving out a dedicated niche in the industry! . 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5997 I can confirm that we have just signed a deal with Kanye West. He wants to rebrand the holiday as Hallow-Yeen. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5998 I’ve called a meeting because it seems no matter what we do, office emotions are not changing. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5999 . "So the vote is unanimous. I am officially The Great Pumpkin. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
6000 Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. If Jack only likes to hear flattery the organization will be in trouble quick. 1.1531 0.04667 98 87 7 4
6001 In conclusion; that's the facts "Jack"! 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
6002 I was carved out for this job. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
6003 Now,I have to strongly advise against moving forward our earnings call to mid-November 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
6004 I'm going to have to let 5 of you go. We've been taken over by Melon Bank. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
6005 You can now remove the pumpkins honoured members of my Politburo. You have successfully passed this test of your unquestioned loyalty to your beloved president on the glorious beginning of his third term as your most beloved president. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
6006 So we misread seasonal demand and overbought product. Let it be on our heads! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
6007 We are here to vote on the unification of Jack'O Lanterns from different patches 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
6008 The good news? With Halloween back on this year, pumpkin carving will be bigger then ever! The bad news...you will most likely end up feeling empty inside... 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
6009 Jack O'lanterns are quick. But which of you is nimble enough to jump over a candle stick? 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
6010 Cheer up, sales force, you'll do fine if you remember it's a carve or be carved world! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
6011 You do not need to worry, none of you are included in the pie chart. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
6012 Sorry about that pumpkin heads, but I now own Twitter. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
6013 I vote that we go without Christmas this year, how about you? 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
6014 When your boss thinks he is the "Great Pumpkin". 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
6015 I am implementing a new policy: TPS reports now require a cover sheet 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
6016 Are we all ready to spice things up? 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
6017 Alright Gentlemen, let's have the prospectus for the Crane Project 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
6018 Looks like we'll need to do some cost-squashing 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
6019 Doom in the gourdroom” 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
6020 Now, on to gourd domination! 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
6021 Why all the long faces? 1.1525 0.05829 59 52 5 2
6022 It’s unanimous.Pumpkin Pie is of the Christmas party menu. 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
6023 For the last item on the agenda, I’d like to announce that by this time next week all of our heads will be moldy and rotten. 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
6024 New marketing strategy: Spice! 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
6025 Don’t misunderstand me gentlemen; I am not at all happy with the quarterly report. I’m just carved to look like this. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
6026 Jack, we’ll let you make the final decision on this one. 1.1525 0.05829 59 52 5 2
6027 Yes! Fantastic!!! The Prez issued an Executive Order against putting pumpkin spices on your filet mignon! 1.1525 0.05829 59 52 5 2
6028 Unfortunately, we are also eliminating all fringe benefits -- including all company carves. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
6029 Oh come on folks, stop looking so glum. It’s not like your head’s gonna rot away in a couple of weeks. 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
6030 I booked Smashing Pumpkins for this year’s holiday party. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
6031 I believe we're all of one mind? 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
6032 I'm sorry, but I'm going to be making some further cuts. 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
6033 Our stock is up and sales are strong, so I thought we might celebrate by wearing pumpkins on our heads. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
6034 If we've accomplished nothing else here today, I think it's clear that we're going to have to another meeting about this. 1.1525 0.06310 59 53 3 3
6035 As we know, coffee's been a big winner. For next quarter, let's go with quinoa. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
6036 I am happy to announce that we can extend the Halloween spirit by four days due to our updated staff burnout and meltdown policies. 1.1525 0.05829 59 52 5 2
6037 ... of course there will be some downsizing as we transition into the holiday pie season. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
6038 Smashings are down 21%.. Carvings are up 6%. All in all, a pretty good year, Jack-O. 1.1525 0.05829 59 52 5 2
6039 It's agreed then. Halloween will be a year-round celebration. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
6040 I find you very a-PEEL-ing! ORANGE ya glad we’re friends? 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
6041 While I am very proud of our new gender equity policy, I recognize that 50% of you who identify as Jack may not be so happy. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
6042 In an effort to ease our transition back to in person meetings, I’d like us to have some fun with real face filters. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
6043 Tomorrow is football helmet day. And don't forget your cup. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
6044 Jack-o'-Lantern headquarters, morning of November 1. 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
6045 Happy to see that the back to office holiday initiative is working 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
6046 Wipe those rotten smiles off your faces. 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
6047 our DEI initiatives are doing well. 1.1525 0.05829 59 52 5 2
6048 Jeeze, talk about a guy with a gourd complex! 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
6049 Getting straight to business, supply chain disruption has led to a Pumpkin Spice shortage. We’re going to need a few volunteers to step up. Anyone? 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
6050 Due to budget cuts, we had to cancel the human carving contest this year. 1.1525 0.05829 59 52 5 2
6051 Did the job listing say ‘Banking’? It was supposed to say ‘Baking’. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
6052 It’s become clear that we don’t know jack o’bout the lantern business 🎃🤷🏼‍♂️ 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
6053 So, as you all are aware, we’re in layoff season. 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
6054 So how are you all handling our Individuality Paradigm? 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
6055 We have to decide, trick or treat? 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
6056 And those of you who don't make their quota, well, let me say, pie is in your future. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
6057 I'm happy to report that pumpkin spice sales are through the roof. However, I need you all to make some sacrifices. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
6058 We need just one more pumpkin head for an official quorum. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
6059 I'm the pumpkin head now. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
6060 They will say our time has passed but I say that’s just squash…. 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
6061 That's all gentlemen, now if you will just leave your heads in the green bin on your way out.... 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
6062 So, from which branch office shall I carve out some expenses this quarter? 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
6063 Due to a meager crop of pumkins this year we need six volunteers to meet our pumpkin pie quota for the holiday party. 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
6064 Our company needs a more positive carve-out. 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
6065 You all just need to brighten up. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
6066 I’m your new CEO, Billy Corgan. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
6067 You may think I'm out of my gourd, but... 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
6068 It's time to carve up the shares and squash the competition. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
6069 Alright, next time we coordinate on the costumes. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
6070 We will squash the competition. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
6071 This year, let's learn. How about we all -- ever single board member -- get out on the porch and get smashed! 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
6072 Pumpkin pie sells are up 25% this quarter may Bob Rest In Peace 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
6073 It's Trump. He thinks he is one of us. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
6074 Smile instead to be appreciated. There is a great need to be positive these days. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
6075 Thanks again to Executive Vice President, Ruddy Pumpkin Head, for the success of the pumpkin spice campaign. Next month we launch pumpkin weed gummies and should have market domination by Halloween 2023. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
6076 Talk me through our revised portfolio of shocks and scares again. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
6077 Doesn’t anyone have any better ideas? Your candles aren’t generating much wattage here. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
6078 OK everyone, let’s carve out some new ideas. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
6079 Could we please just come to a decision before we all end up rotten on the doorstep? 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
6080 To diversify, I'll be bringing Jacklyn O'Lantern in to direct the Headhunter Dept. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
6081 Profits are expected to peak just prior to when our heads rot off, so plan ahead to make the most of it. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
6082 I know you were carved this way but this is good news. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
6083 We've debated this for hours and gotten nowhere. Does anyone here have anything to add that isn't another 'straw-man proposal'? 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
6084 I know it might be scary but it’s time to start carving up this company 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
6085 I'm pleased to announce that my daughter Jill will be joining the board next month. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
6086 The annual gourd meeting will now come to order. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
6087 Unfortunately, due to the slowing economy several of you will have to be squashed. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
6088 Gah, me and my big mouth. I didn’t mean to shout. It’s just the way I’m built. # 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
6089 So We are clearly all in favor of the rebranding of Jack in the box to Jack-o'-lantern ! 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
6090 Heads up, people! Our campaign just won us the Sleepy Hollow account! 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
6091 No need for such concern, gents, a full redundancy payment will be made Nov 1st 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
6092 After carefully reviewing sales trends, we've decided to skip right to Christmas. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
6093 We'll start diversity training in just a minute. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
6094 Right after Halloween you'll all be transferred to organic resources. 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
6095 Unfortunately, we'll be making some cuts. Now if you'll turn to the pie chart on page six... 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
6096 From where I sit, you all look like a bunch of pumkinheads! 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
6097 Ok, we got the seed money, what’s next? 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
6098 Hi, I’m Peter and Welcome to Peter Pumpkin Eaters Anonymous”. “Hello Peter” 1.1509 0.06813 53 48 2 3
6099 The board meeting is over, so you can all go out and get smashed! 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
6100 Ok, let's vote. How many of you are in favor of letting a squash join our board? 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
6101 We can't keep masking this divesity issue any longer' 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
6102 The good news is the board is still very diverse — no-one agrees on anything. 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
6103 I'd like to know which one of you submitted the pie chart... 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
6104 It's official! The Music of Halloween now includes Christmas Carols! 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
6105 The O’Lantern annual meeting begins with Big Jack addressing the missing lid on Hack Jr.’s head. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
6106 Yes, Flannel shirts and old, worn overalls is fine for casual dress Friday. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
6107 Let’s talk… pies !! 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
6108 Let’s squash the topic now. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
6109 With regard to your new strategic plan...BOO! 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
6110 HR has decided on a more permanent solution for improving employee attitudes. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
6111 Libby’s has poached me. You’re all being canned. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
6112 Alright, which one of you gourds got smashed last night? 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
6113 Consumer demand is waning. We need to think bigger than Halloween and pie. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
6114 What!!!…You we’re expecting Mr. Potato Head? 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
6115 Ok stemless, it was your turn to bring the pie crust. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
6116 Our stock price is plummeting, I propose we make Halloween scarier, let’s go into business with Kayne West! That’ll scare the sh*t outta everyone 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
6117 …and we’ll downsize the number of department heads after the carve-out. 1.1505 0.04573 93 82 8 3
6118 Gentlemen, after the media circus and all the bad press, I'm announcing I will personally be taking over the Sleepy Hollow Acvount. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
6119 We’re not talking bonuses until November this year. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
6120 And for those of you that did not make your numbers...you have been invited to the Executive Dining Room kitchen to help with the pumpkin pie" 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
6121 Gentlemen, diversity training begins on Monday. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
6122 I’ve agreed that stores can decorate for Christmas in October. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
6123 We’re switching to a carve-out plan. 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
6124 Respectfully, sir, it's as if you don't remember what the teenagers did to us last year. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
6125 I think we have to patch up our differences 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
6126 This year the board has mandated that all senior staff will wear pumpkin spice-scented aftershave and cologne for the fall season. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
6127 The November gourd meeting is in session. So where are we on that headcount reduction plan? 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
6128 The pie stops here, fellows 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
6129 Don’t be spooked, we’ll squash the competition 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
6130 We all know those weird shaped gords never get sliced open. We’re here today to change that. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
6131 Let's not lose our heads just because Halloween is coming. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
6132 This is more orange heads than I can stand! 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
6133 In keeping with the season, you will not be fired but smashed. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
6134 Gentlemen, we have two days to draw up a contract before the deal starts to look rotten. 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
6135 I see you've all had time to clear your heads! 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
6136 Now... it's come to my attention that some of us here think it's funny that my wife's a vegetable. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
6137 All in favor of the new concussion-proof helmets… 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
6138 You don't scare us! 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
6139 Cheer up, boys. We've learned that Squash Bash has been replaced with Witch Catch. 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
6140 Diversity, Equity and Inclusion - NOT! 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
6141 The absolute best part of my job is being able to get you guys to where these sad pumpkin heads,knowing you 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
6142 Ladies and Gentlemen, you may think I'm off my gourd for calling this meeting, but I believe it's time we patched things up 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
6143 Don't let Halloween get into your heads. 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
6144 From now on, it's all trick 'n tweet. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
6145 Gentlemen, merger talks with Ichabod Crane Industries have broken down. It's time to go hostile. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
6146 Guys, if we don't get our game on around here, I'm gonna have to smash some heads. 1.1500 0.06210 60 54 3 3
6147 Jack, what happened to your peduncle? 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
6148 Unfortunately gourdan, couldn’t make it. He lost his wife to a pumpkin spice latté order 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
6149 I warned you all that we shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
6150 ´Who’s the head of the trick or treat department? ‘ 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
6151 I just got an email saying this committee need more diversity if we want the the funds to keep coming. So… 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
6152 Who will be our diversity hire: Beckham, Brown, Bunton, Chisholm or Halliwell? 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
6153 It’s good to see all of you after this pumpkin spice pandemic. We lost a lot of good pumpkin heads this month and plan to make vaccines mandatory next October… 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
6154 Listen guys, profits are down. So I'm gonna need all of you to go have your brains scooped out of your fucking head, then rot on whatever Godforsaken stoop you call home. Well, if no one has anything else, let's get back out there. Oh! Also, time sheets are due at 4 today. Thanks guys. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
6155 Ye texted me jews hate pumpkins or pumpkins hate jews anyway I had an awesome idea to get him to sign with us. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
6156 Y’all pumps listen up, hear? I done called this meeting to put my pump foot down and demand y’all stop pretending y’all’s excited about Hocus Pocus 2. Ain’t nobody gonna take you serious if you keep pretending HP2 was ever gonna be passable. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
6157 Great meeting! Anyone for pumpkin pie? 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
6158 The bad news is we're all laid off after Halloween. The good news is they want us all back on Pi Day, March 14, for some reason. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
6159 I say we don’t invite Smashing Pumpkins to perform at our annual company gala. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
6160 Ok folks, now it's time to put on your happy faces. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
6161 I'm the new dentist. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
6162 The ghouls are filing a discrimination suit. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
6163 We’ll need to carve out some new positions after the 31st. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
6164 It’s that time of the year again. Time to harvest pumpkins. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
6165 So, who wants pie? 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
6166 I started out in the mail room but I've always believed the only way to get anywhere in life is to pull yourself up by your own stem... 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
6167 October is a make-it or smash-it month for our organization. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
6168 you are all allergic to pumpkin spice! 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
6169 I’m going to have to turn you all on to my image consultant. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
6170 Gee, did a five year old carve your heads? 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
6171 The other patches are introducing the catapult this year. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
6172 It seems our email was hacked by some twisted joker. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
6173 Half of you will be sent running alight through the dead of night. The rest will end up on people’s stoops and flower beds. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
6174 We're looking at bringing on Billy Corgan in HR. Feedback? 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
6175 So, we’re agreed. No more comments about empty heads or hollow eyes when we carve up our next corporate takeover. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
6176 Legal has asked that we not book Smashing Pumpkins to play at our next retreat. It's a little too on the nose given the recent downsizing. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
6177 I'm thinking of moving the company to the North Pole 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
6178 I don't want October to be over, because October means us! 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
6179 That’s just low hanging fruit. We need to review the KPIs (key pumpkin indicators) 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
6180 I’m sorry, gentlemen. We always knew this was a possibility. 90% of startups fail within their first year, but …orange you glad our severance packages include dental? 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
6181 It’s that time of year we need to discuss the great debate.. candy corn vs. circus peanuts for ‘worst candy’. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
6182 For obvious reasons, the legal team has asked that we rebrand “Pumpkin Spice” to “Everything But the Pumpkin”. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
6183 We’re officially merging with Christmas. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
6184 Next on the agenda, how to get pumpkin spice accepted by all seasons 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
6185 I cannot authorize bonus payments this year, but the good news is y'all get to keep your jobs! 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
6186 Alright team, we’ve successfully broken the band Smashing Pumpkins, next let’s focus on a new seasonal latte flavour 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
6187 Corporate gourds 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
6188 Guys, I finally tried a pumpkin spiced latte and it was pretty great. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6189 It appears we haven't been meeting our spook quota... 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6190 I know this is a difficult time of year for the company, but there's no need to lose our heads. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6191 Jerry, you look great. You've had work done, haven't you? 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
6192 And this year, we'll add real pumpkin to our pumpkin spice! 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
6193 So . . .shall we order lattes all around? 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
6194 The lack of potential in the room was something Jack should have predicted when hiring his underlings. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
6195 In this quarter,especially with inflation,some heads will have to roll 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
6196 I know the outlook is grim but we don’t need to lose our heads over this. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
6197 Any more pie-eyed suggestions? 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
6198 And now your strategies against seasonality, please!" 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
6199 I need you all to focus this quarter. The gourds are gaining ground. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
6200 We're going in with seed capital. 1.1486 0.05333 74 66 5 3
6201 ... And I believe our November outlook will be even stronger. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
6202 Take your seed to work day has been a lot of fun! 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
6203 Who is ready to get smashed? 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
6204 As you're probably aware by now, there's recently been a Fall in share prices. 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
6205 Sure we’re hollow and mindless, but we have to think of what’s best for the shareholders 1.1486 0.05333 74 66 5 3
6206 I’ll assume those frowns are decorative carvings and, underneath, you are all smiling in agreement. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
6207 Welcome to the November Gourd Meeting. As ever, let's start with a minute's silence. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
6208 Before you get too smug about our yearly glorious maturity, remember we must give ourselves to the causee of joy and thanksgiving. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
6209 Gourd head, Bill, let’s hear your idea. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
6210 ... and so, with the nationwide shortage of pumpkin spice, we're going to need a few volunteers to take one for the team. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
6211 11 Spooky Men 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
6212 Due to the alarming increase in the cost of candles we will remain unlit this year. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
6213 I don't trust " YES" men 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
6214 I would like us to all put our heads together to brighten up the office. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
6215 Then it's unanimous. No more talk about 'carving up profits.' 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
6216 I told you guys, we don’t have any squashes. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
6217 The rutabagas and turnips are unionizing; we must crush them and their little carrot pals. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
6218 We had to cut the budget to one happy employee this year. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
6219 Ok, guys and dolls, great work for that last ZOOM contract review. Now go carve a smiley face pumpkin for the next one. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
6220 We’ve been acquired by Christmas, but I’m sure your jobs are all safe. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
6221 Just another example of why we need more diversity in the boardroom. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
6222 It's good to see some fresh faces today! the flies were beginning to get annoying... 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
6223 Without further adieu, here is our new Head of Human Resources, Billy Corgan. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
6224 It doesn’t smell very gourd in here 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
6225 First things first, how did the harvest go this year? 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
6226 The Metaverse, October 31, 2032 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
6227 We're going to gut this thing and carve it up. 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
6228 It's OK. We all can light up. 1.1475 0.05647 61 54 5 2
6229 It's called the Pumpkinverse and it's the future of this company. 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
6230 This year's bumper crop makes all of you easily replaceable and - truth? You're all gonna be composted by December anyway. 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
6231 Everyone knows 10 Pumpkin Heads are better than One! 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
6232 Jack! You’re such a cut up! 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
6233 I know, I know- business is down and that means our bonuses are in jeopardy... but what do you say I take you out tonight and we all get pie-eyed, huh? Guys? 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
6234 Sales are down. So grab a candle and put on a bright face on in light the situation 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
6235 Yes, we will be downsizing management by 25%, but all of you will receive a free one-month supply of our new asbestos-lined masks. 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
6236 Perhaps, we should have all flossed and brushed! 1.1475 0.06112 61 55 3 3
6237 Once again The Fed has failed to break the curse 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
6238 His sculptor was a plastic surgeon. 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
6239 Why worry about the bottom line? Soon our heads will rot and fall off, and it won’t matter. 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
6240 To keep our spirits up, our next meeting will be in the middle of a head patch. 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
6241 I'm pleased to announce that as of today our holiday has been taken over by Watermelon. 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
6242 Hey guys, it’s not all doom and gloom….why all the sad faces? 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
6243 Great news. We have this quarter’s sales in the bag. 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
6244 So, who's is going to provide the pumpkin cookies for our Halloween party? 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
6245 Investors believe the carve-out will be a real smash. 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
6246 So, in this meeting we'll see where is this company HEADing 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
6247 -“She said we were just a bunch of pumpkin heads” 1.1475 0.05647 61 54 5 2
6248 Is Jack here yet? 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
6249 The mood in the boardroom shifted quickly as the new CEO introduced himself as Peter Peter 🎃 1.1475 0.05647 61 54 5 2
6250 So the guy says to the nurse, he says, ‘what? Haven’t you seen a pianist before?’ Get it. “Pianist!” ….. Sheesh, tough crowd. 1.1475 0.05647 61 54 5 2
6251 So the numbers are in and we’ve officially annoyed every social media platform. 1.1475 0.05647 61 54 5 2
6252 …and fire the person who carved your mouth! 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
6253 Why the grim looks? Pumpkin spice is still a thing. 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
6254 Let’s put our heads together and shine a light on this dilemma. 1.1475 0.05647 61 54 5 2
6255 Gentlemen, we need a volunteer for this year’s Headless Horseman event. 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
6256 Good work you pumpkin heads 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
6257 Unfortunately, as of November 1st your services will no longer be required… 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
6258 We need to bring some new talent into the gourdroom 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
6259 If we take a hard look, I think we will all agree that our competitors have totally squashed us again. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
6260 To make room for our diversity goal of 50% melon heads, some of you will be receiving a very generous severance package. 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
6261 The corporation simply cannot afford a dental plan for its managers. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
6262 …this ain’t my first time at the pumpkin patch. 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
6263 If there are any objections, I'd like to squash them personally. 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
6264 Okay, enough gloom and doom… I have a bit of news that’ll carve a smile on all your faces 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
6265 Tuesday, November 1st “You should have all received the memo that, as of today, the company will be moving forward in a different direction…” 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
6266 We need to squash the competition. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
6267 Good news. Elon is converting all your shares to Three Musketeers. 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
6268 At this point,it is just a seed of an idea. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
6269 Who wants to be head of our pie division? 1.1471 0.05647 68 61 4 3
6270 First on our agenda: Knives: friend or foe? 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
6271 For our next meeting you are expected to come as stuffed turkeys. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
6272 Orange you glad that being hybrid is overrated? 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
6273 You guys just don't know Jack. 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
6274 We have until the 31st to turn this around. After that, heads will be smashed. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
6275 One word: Linus 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
6276 Sadly its the year 3.14.Some out you will not be at the next meeting. 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
6277 OK, the Mrs. wants pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving dinner, so I need 5 volunteers. 1.1471 0.05647 68 61 4 3
6278 I know it’s controversial but switching to John O’Latern will really boost our brand 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
6279 I'm the boss and so I'm still going with pumpkin spiced watermelon. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
6280 It’s my best idea since pumpkin spice! 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
6281 OH NO!! THE SAME OLD HALLOWEEN JOKES 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
6282 Bravo, Jacks, on a killer Q4. 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
6283 Let’s all have some pumpkin spice latte, shall we? 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
6284 I hear you. Using a pumpkin pie chart to show our data was not the best idea. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
6285 - “Okay, now how can we go from being the great to being the greatest?” 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
6286 So...no one's signed up to bring pumpkin pie for the Thanksgiving Company Potluck. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
6287 Well, seeing as I'm the only one who carved a smile into their organic pumpkin helmet, I am going to assume this is my last day as CEO. 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
6288 Wait until you see what i’ve got for christmas! 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
6289 I’m proud to announce the launch of our new DEI initiative. 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
6290 I’m excited to announce Billy Corgan will perform at the holiday party this year 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
6291 I hear what you’re saying Mr. Lantern, but I don’t feel threatened by the decline in pumpkin seed sales. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
6292 My name is Peter Peter, and I vow to serve you well! 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
6293 If October is any indication, year-end sales will be through the roof. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
6294 The ten of you just aren't cut out to work here at Comedy Central. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
6295 Let’s squash the idle chatter, and light-up some good ideas for winter. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
6296 With the pumpkin season in full swing, I've been informed there is a shortage this year... 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
6297 I called this meeting to talk about how we are all feeling hollow inside this week. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
6298 No Charlie!!!! Were you even listening!?! You’re such a pumpkin-head!!! 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
6299 It is clear from your expressions that Botox is not working. We need to carve out a different strategy for our facelift business. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
6300 Due to inflation, we've rented out the boardroom to Spirit Halloween for the next two months. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
6301 Okay team, let’s put our gourds together and find a solution to these squirrels cleaning us out. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
6302 I'm happy to report that bonuses this year will be tricks instead of treats. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
6303 Now for this year's annual holiday party contest, submit your best holiday pie using only your own, natural ingredients. 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
6304 I’m thinking this is the year for a full pumpkin rebrand 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
6305 And that concludes the last stage of 2022's Glorious Loyalty Oath Crusade! 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
6306 Woooyeah!! Nice to see that we can all let loose and get crazy on Halloween! 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
6307 I pulled everyone into this gourdroom meeting to tell you: She be jackin’ my lantern until I O. 1.1467 0.05265 75 67 5 3
6308 So our DE&I report came back and…it’s not good. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
6309 Now that we are all able to assemble in person, perhaps the reason why we are missing quarterly targets is this team has no guts 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
6310 Who likes pumpkin pie? 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
6311 Did everyone’s candle go out at once? 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
6312 Cinderella is looking for a new pumpkin. Volunteers? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6313 ‘It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" ..."will not be on TV in 2022...I've instructed our lawyers to sue Apple" 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6314 So if you still have any company stock in magic carriages, it would be wise to sell before midnight. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6315 Those who do not make the quota will be made into a pie. So get busy! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6316 You guys need to carve for success. Smile! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6317 Look, I understand where everyone's coming from, but we're still going to use pie charts in presentations. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6318 Now that we have breached the color barrier , what do you think about welcoming some Jills on board ? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6319 So my response to the supply chain shortage of pie filling is… 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6320 Can’t believe we all came to the office in the same thing! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6321 The good news is that we are all now grown organically, bad news management advises we need to feed our heads to the squirrels now. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6322 Operations tells me our main supply line is broken, so I suggest a pumpkin patch. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6323 It is woke to frown. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6324 The Boss says we have our heads up our asses. This, I hope, will put that to rest. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6325 Why, it's a great honor for all of us to be reincarnated as pumpkin pie. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6326 We'll get through this dry patch 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6327 I'm glad to see everyone got their Halloween makeover done. I hope you kept your insides like I did. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6328 Did you all leave room for the candle? It’s policy. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6329 Welcome to Trump Organization II. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6330 I’ve sold the firm to Peter Peter Inc. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6331 No seeds spitting please 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6332 We'll start with Peter's report on the rise in cannibalism. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
6333 If we’re going to make 4th quarter revenue, we all have to burn our candles longer! 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
6334 Please,not that Smashing Pumpkins song again. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
6335 Costco called...they need you for pie 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
6336 You guys can’t just keep repeating “pumpkin spice” every time I ask for the next great idea. 1.1452 0.06017 62 56 3 3
6337 It's a tough world,for sure. First they cut you up,and you could end up rotting in an alley somewhere. But while we're here,we rule! Get out there and scare some kids. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
6338 I'm sorry Jack, you have been extinguished. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
6339 Candy corn sales are up, but re-planting costs have grown considerably, cutting into our head gross margins. 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
6340 Now who's gonna light up the room with some bright ideas? 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
6341 They sat there stone-faced as the new CEO took his seat at the end of the table. He looked so different from them, the smile carved into his bulbous countenance. Though none of them said it, the board let out a sigh of relief. At least he was white. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
6342 Due to company policy,you'll all be working on the 31st. Nobody is getting lit this year. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
6343 No, I won't be retiring this year!" 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
6344 Do you think anyone will be able to tell we are all related? I wouldn't want to be accused of nepotism. Mr. Potato Head got fried by the press for hiring all those green spuds. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
6345 PUMPKINHEAD, that’s my name! Why? ‘Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight and I drove an eighty thousand dollar butternut squash. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
6346 I’ll just point. When I call on Jack, everyone speaks at once. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
6347 Welcome to the last board meeting of The Jack O' Lantern Corporation 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
6348 So I'm proud to announce that our November flavor will be recycled pumpkin head spice! 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
6349 Costumes this year weren’t creative 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
6350 We can't allow this Halloween craze to turn us into a bunch of Jack O'Lanterns! 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
6351 It may be embarrassing, but it's what the people love! 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
6352 Crooked neck squash you say? Over my dead body. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
6353 As this pie chart demonstrates, our company is really carving out a niche in the dessert sector this quarter. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
6354 Our new policy,effective this month,turn those frowns upside down! 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
6355 H.R. says we're too orange. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
6356 Ideas! Ideas! You can’t all be empty-headed! 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
6357 My new role won’t be easy. This company has never had a head. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
6358 Why so glum Jackos? We still have Thanksgiving to look forward to. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
6359 I’m hoping that by spicing things up, we can all turn those frowns upside down and really begin to shine from within. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
6360 Any suggestions how we sharpen the knife to cut our losses? 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
6361 How can we scare the town? 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
6362 Jack, please explain your cutting edge idea to the board 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
6363 its all about the papaya! 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
6364 So we haven’t met our sales goals this year, which means some of us will need to be Pumpkin Chunkin’d. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
6365 When I said I liked pumpkin, I didn’t mean I LOVED pumpkins. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
6366 Is everybody ready for the Danny Elfman concert? 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
6367 this feels a little too far for an office prank 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
6368 Please ... anything but pumpkin spice! 1.1449 0.05569 69 62 4 3
6369 That settles it: we’re canceling The Smashing Pumpkins. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
6370 I call it the "Pumpkin Pie-chart Maker"... 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
6371 Hello its monday-ween 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
6372 I’ve got a new knife here that will put a smile on your face. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
6373 No more squash and pumpkin. From now on, all restrooms are uni-produce. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
6374 Time to smile and roll up our sleeves, then go out and get smashed. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
6375 So, what you're saying is a "gate" is no longer consider an accepted work environment? 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
6376 You all know why you're here, so rather than beat around the vine, who will volunteer to be in the pie? 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
6377 Our shareholders are spooked. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
6378 What goes on in the Gourdroom, stays in the Guardroom." 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
6379 The witching hour is near. Let's give 'em pumpkin to talk about. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
6380 Looks like pumpkinflation is going to let us all retire upstate before we have to worry about turkeyflation 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
6381 The October figures look excellent. How are those November projections looking? 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
6382 Let's hope that cooler heads prevail at the next board meeting. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
6383 I’m sorry, but our request to make October 31st a National holiday has been rejected. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
6384 I'm getting dental implants. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
6385 Who's up for some pumpkin pie later? 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
6386 But not a single head of lettuce, at least. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
6387 I'm counting on you guys to put your heads together to grow the pie this quarter. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
6388 Employee of the month gets to go to a Billy Corgan concert! 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
6389 We have a woman joining the board next month, and you'll never guess what her name is. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
6390 So diversification is a key goal for this year! 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
6391 We’re going to have to make a few more cuts this year. Who wants to go first? 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
6392 We have successfully expanded our control from Halloween to the entire fall season. Our next move? We steal spring from the flowers. Soon pumpkins will be beloved year round! 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
6393 The problem with capitalism in america is that they don’t pay any of you enough to care, and I’m getting paid too much to care! Fuck it! We’re Home Depot! If they don’t like it let em go to Lowes! 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
6394 Alright people, brainstorm time. Kids nowadays crave for something scarier than just Halloween movies. Think! We're all different and creative. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
6395 What a relief that beehive on your head month is over. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
6396 Now we can ALL be referred to as "The Orange One." 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
6397 So,who’s going to bring the pies? 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
6398 We must act quickly. We will not be ahead for long. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
6399 So, it's decided. We're going into the pie business! 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
6400 I see we are all properly attired for our Halloween Board Meeting. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
6401 So we're agreed. The office Halloween party will include Bobbing for Corner Office keys and 100% Paychecks pinatas. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
6402 Gentlemen, the candlesticks looking good. 1.1447 0.05199 76 68 5 3
6403 ‘You’re all being reassigned to the spiced latte department’ 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
6404 During this season, it’s easy to get a swelled head. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
6405 We are initiating legal actions to stop allegations that this firm is rotting from the head down. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
6406 Who wants to forget about the quarterly results and just go get smashed? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
6407 We're going to have to let Jack go. He's been acting like a real pumpkin head lately. 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
6408 Since Q2 sales have plummeted YET again, we’re considering the gelato market. 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
6409 So, it's unanimous. Smashing Pumpkins is our least favorite group. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
6410 You guys ought to sample some of the stuff that grows in the patch next to me. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
6411 So, we squash the motion? 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6412 Our time has finally come... 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
6413 Starting tonight, my 10 Lil Punkins, you'll be staying the week all expenses paid at an exclusive seafront hotel with Charles Dance. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
6414 Which of you human heads left the seat down? 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
6415 So I guess the question is, gentlemen, do we feel lucky, punkins? Well...do we? 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
6416 Yo boss these smell pretty bad can we take them off yet 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
6417 I’ll happy to you all survived Halloween night. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6418 Welcome, gentlemen, to our October gourd meeting. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
6419 Bad times will be over in a few days. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
6420 The musical entertainment for this year's Halloween party is Smashing Pumpkins. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
6421 Yep. She starts tomorrow. And yep, you guessed it. Her name is Jackie. And please Gentlejacks, work on your smiles. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6422 Can anyone tell me what sets this company apart? 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6423 We're all going to be eaten by bears. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
6424 Our Shareholders have spoken; the seasonal shift to pumpkin spice in the boardroom is essential. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
6425 I'm sorry Jack, we have to let you go. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6426 So finally Charlie Brown and Linus will see the Great Pumpkin - me - rise up out of their worthy pumpkin patch 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
6427 Halloween parties are coming, I hope this year you won´t lose your heads 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
6428 Profits are lagging. Ask staff to submit vegan recipes. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
6429 the eleven angry pumpkins 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
6430 Let me start out by saying you all look gourd-ous 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6431 No more pumpkin spice latte before company squash games! Yesterday was halloweeny in the bathroom! 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
6432 The meeting of the gourds will now come to order! 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
6433 Now,Now .... It's not that bad. No one is going to lose their head over this.... 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
6434 I'm sorry to say we've lost our inner glow. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
6435 I'll continue to head the Porch Division, the rest of you are reassigned to our dessert venture. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
6436 Now, to start off this week's gourd meeting, Jacks.... 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
6437 The question has been raised as to where to put the candle. 1.1429 0.05857 70 64 2 4
6438 Thanks to you, we're expecting smashing success. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
6439 This year's bonus will come from our pumpkin pie sales ... and we will need four volunteers before Friday. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
6440 The bad news is one of you must ride as the Headless Horseman 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6441 Good news! Elon wants to buy the company. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6442 Let’s bring back ghosts this year. They won’t see it coming! 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
6443 But I asked the carver for happy faces. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
6444 And here''s our new employment policy negotiated with the squash and gourd upstarts. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
6445 Thank you very much for enjoying our flavor of the month corporate attire. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
6446 We are going to launch a new Pie Day campaign! Bring your children to the kick-off celebration. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
6447 So, what kind of pie would you like for Thanksgiving? 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
6448 Cost are up. So, I’ve decided to downsize … to Pumpkin Spice. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
6449 We know we’re the brightest minds in the business. However, I’m happy to say today the takeover is now complete. You’ll be escorted out the building immediately. But not to worry. We’ll mail your candles and carving knives to your patches. 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
6450 I want a board that, like me, is all smiles. 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
6451 Let’s try carving out a new market next quarter 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
6452 They're carving out this division and selling it to a coffee conglomerate. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
6453 Do you think I called this meeting to save face? 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6454 Don’t bother coming in smashed November First. 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
6455 I see you guys got my email." (Jack Barron, 13 years old 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
6456 It may not be the patch but at least we're not a pie. 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
6457 It's come to my attention that someone is having a bad hair day". John Dischinger 6630 E. 35th ST Yuma AZ 85365 udim@earthlink.net 928-273-427 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
6458 It's pie chart time. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
6459 Gourds, we continue to see higher quality applicants for our seed stage investments. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
6460 Now that we carved out the details… 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
6461 Seedless is the future I tell ya! 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
6462 Good morning, Gentlemen. Elon Musk just bought the pumpkin farm. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6463 The revenue gain from pumpkin spice earnings is a real boost for my salary. Unfortunately the rest of you will be let go next month. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6464 Welcome to the first meeting of the NAAPP 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6465 By this time next year, you’ll be smiling, too. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6466 Mariah Carey has made us a generous offer. We’re letting her have October too. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
6467 This meeting should have been a screamail. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
6468 Must be the new Jack’O Intern” 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
6469 O’Lantern, take a head count and bring in the candles, will you? 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6470 Thank you all for joining today’s gourd meeting. I’m seeing a lot of new faces. 1.1429 0.05476 63 56 5 2
6471 Sorry, but All of you getting so dramatic … Won’t be making it to the Thanks Giving event. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
6472 Gentlemen, we have experienced a decline in seed capital. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
6473 It’s seams candy sales are down by double digits in this economy! It looks like we are going to get a visit from the the big guy from the Sleepy Hollow ! I hope he keeps his 🎃 on! 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
6474 We really need to patch things up with our shareholders. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
6475 You should be lit! I’m taking our Spice stock public!!! 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
6476 We need to rethink our market share. The holidays are creeping into our timeline. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
6477 I'm asking you all to carve out a little time this weekend to work on this project" 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
6478 Looks like we all watched the same episode of The Office last night. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
6479 It's been a rough year, but now is our time to shine! 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
6480 I thought this secret society looked more stylish 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
6481 Carve those frowns upside down 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
6482 we've never had so many Jacks on the board before 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
6483 As Chairman of the Gourd I thank you for carving out time in your schedules today. 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
6484 Due to Global Warming we’ll be sharing this season with the Cornucopia Gourds on Floor 11 this quarter 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
6485 - "I'm afraid it's again that time of the year where we have to make some cuts" 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6486 Update us on the pumpkin spice poke campaign. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
6487 So how do you like the pumpkin spice lattes? 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
6488 Diversity & Inclusion Gourd 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
6489 Look, I know this job can make you feel gutted and yes Dave I do feel the same as the rest of you. Honestly I don’t know why you keep asking. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
6490 Thank you all for attending this gourd meeting. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
6491 We need to carve out a bigger slice of the pie. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
6492 I see someone has forgotten that the stem is a corporate-look requirement at Pumpkin People Inc. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
6493 Pretend you're still in the patch and slowly take over. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
6494 If anyone mentions carving out a new niche, you're fired! 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
6495 Don’t lose your heads. We’ve been invited to the World Championship Punkin Chunkin contest. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
6496 I've booked the entertainment for the company Halloween party...The Smashing Pumpkins and Gallagher! 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
6497 Here for our annual autumn meeting. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
6498 ‘ Trick-or-treat, please keep your seat.Though I feel fit, I’ve gotta shit 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
6499 In this quarter, I want you to go big or gourd home! 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
6500 which is followed by a lighted candle being placed at the bottom. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
6501 Why all of the spooky faces? Haunting is up this quarter. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
6502 The Santa Claus outfits are available now for the December meeting. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
6503 Meanwhile at O’Lantern inc. boardroom, discussions become heated around toasted or roasted 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
6504 You guys have been smashing it this year 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
6505 The new boss says we are going to let Jack go. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
6506 Since the company has decided to start the Christmas shopping season earlier this year, I will have to let you all go. 1.1408 0.05418 71 64 4 3
6507 Alright, Jacks 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
6508 Welcome you all to our annual Halloween meeting. Unfortunately I have to tell you we don't scare people the way we used to. The scariest thing these days is a new virus that's killing people by the millions! 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
6509 I said to carve a SMILEY face- not a frowny face!! 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
6510 Before you become a Jack O'Lantern you must spend some time as a Jack 'Ol-intern 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
6511 And that’s why I’m letting Donald Trump back on Twitter 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
6512 I don’t think you have the guts (and seeds) to oppose my plans. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6513 Now we are prepared to squash our competitors 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6514 Gentleman, we need to develop a strategy to discourage pecan pie deserts this Thanksgiving. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
6515 Who ordered the spice? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6516 We've lost our spark - anybody have a candle? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6517 All those in favor of not going to the Smashing Pumpkins concert say " I"!!! 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
6518 We need suggestions for dealing with these stereotypes of us as 'just Jack-O-Lanterns!' 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6519 It's that time of year, fellas. Bring your children in tomorrow to get their heads hollowed out. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6520 But enough of that straw man 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
6521 If my proposal doesn't pass, head will roll. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6522 This next chart further illuminates the data. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6523 From your expression it appears I can't change your mind. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
6524 I’m pleased as pie to be your new chair of the gourd! 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
6525 Well, our big season is upon us...Halloween to Thanksgiving...during which we demonstrate our corporate diversity! 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
6526 Spice" is on his way 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6527 No worries. In a week it's all Santa hats and ho ho hos. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6528 Meet the 2025 President's Cabinet (If the orange-faced ex-president wins again.) 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
6529 For increased hair growth, be patient as this process will take six to eight weeks. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
6530 OK, corporate says that Fridays will be ‘WFP’ days ( Work from patch or porch”! 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6531 We have to beware of Peter Peter. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
6532 Santa will have replaced by the time we adjourn this meeting. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
6533 It's unanimous, Jack O’Lantern has been elected Chairman of the Gourd. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6534 What a bunch of pumpkin heads! 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
6535 The rumors, I’m afraid, are true. We’re letting Jack go. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
6536 Profits are up. A slice of pumpkin pie in Jamaica is $ 3.50 ,in Barbados it's $4.00. We will have to learn to adjust to the pie-rates of the Carribean. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6537 Gentlemen.....two words...........Pumpkin Spice! 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6538 We need to talk about how we’re going to spice things up this fall 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
6539 I’m afraid our corporate clowns costumes were delayed. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
6540 I expect you to carve out some time this weekend to finish the project. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
6541 House Green, Black, or Pumpkin? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
6542 Okay, which one of you spiced my latte? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
6543 Pumpkin Heads meet with Jack 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6544 So, if we all put our heads together, I'm confident we can come up with something truly unique to throw at our stockholders~!!! 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6545 Think of the horror when they hear we are firing everyone 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6546 Okay, thanks for the insight, Brad. Does anyone have any other downsides to living with a pumpkin head besides the fact that everything is pumpkin spice flavor? 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6547 OK team, put your heads together and light my candle. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6548 All right, Craddock, let’s start with your report. Did we meet objectives with last month’s zucchini-carving promotion? 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6549 I’ve called the meeting because as of today you’re going to be nothing more than a pumpkin pies for your worthless performances 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6550 Your all pumkin heads, Deal with it 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6551 Don't worry,guys. We'll invite you back on Thanksgiving. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6552 So. We need to reinvent 'The Dozen Pumpkins' promptly 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6553 The edict has been handed down by Mr. Trump. We need more diversity so we will immediately initiate a search to add 3 gourds to the Board. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6554 With Jack’s split from the company, we will have to do a little rebranding.” 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6555 Next item, a progress report from the diversity committee. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6556 So it is agreed. We approve the merger with the turkeys, Pilgrims, and Native Americans to protect our retail sector from Christmas. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6557 Last item: Volunteers to provide the Holiday pies... 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6558 ...And by 'downsizing' I mean, half of you will be pie filling by Thanksgiving. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6559 Okay, great. This freaky-good new plan will carve up our competitors and make mincemeat of them. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6560 1) annual gourd meeting 2) I’d like to cut out a little time today to go over some metrics 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6561 All those in favor of making Invisalign part of the standard benefits package? 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6562 Easter has lower barriers to entry but Christmas has a larger market cap, it’s a tough decision 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6563 I was planning to show some pie charts but people at them. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6564 …and the next item on the agenda Is our diversity policy. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6565 Lighten up everyone, you made the cut. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6566 And I'm happy to report that this year no one will be required to participate in our annual pumpkin chucking contest. 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
6567 Is this a repeat of the Last Supper, Judas is missing. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6568 Now that you understand the dress code,let me tell you how to vote. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6569 So it’s a show about—nothing! 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6570 Woooo went the wind, and out went the light, ... . 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
6571 You’ll see how team building can bring rewards. 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
6572 We’re being cancelled all over social media because our leadership lacks diversity. To mitigate, I’m proposing at least half of us carve our frowns into smiles. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
6573 Let's touch base next week, when our guts are scooped out and replaced with a candle. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
6574 And we will be launching our new campaign on the porches of America, with lit candles in your heads. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
6575 Hope we're not looking at a smashing success! 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
6576 I can tell from your expressions that there's a lot of emotional intelligence around this table. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
6577 The activities committee has decided on a band for this year's New Year's Eve party: Smashing Pumpkins. 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
6578 I have to pretend laugh all season because some eight-year-old carved out a smile on my face. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
6579 Tomorrow's All Soul's Day, folks. Let's show more spirit. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
6580 I'll cut you a deal 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
6581 We're in a rough patch right now, but you've all been there before. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
6582 today we will not do anything haunted... 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
6583 If we can just keep our heads together, a strong fourth quarter awaits. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
6584 Why the long carvings? 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
6585 The next agenda item is to elect a new “Head Pumpkin” 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
6586 Gentlemen, the final vote was 6 to 5 to accept the buy-out offer from the Pie-filling Company. 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6587 Don't be peeved. Our stock will rise on All Hallow's Eve! 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6588 This year, let’s all go out the the Patch and give Linus a Big Surprise! 1.1385 0.05750 65 59 3 3
6589 THIS is my idea of DEI! Any objections? 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6590 But such a brave and joyous light. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6591 The Board of Directors has directed me to tell you that 'smiley face' pumpkin heads will hereby be required by each of you department heads...so team, you know what you've got to do if you want to continue on with "Pumpkin Heads are Us"! 1.1385 0.05750 65 59 3 3
6592 Today’s meeting will be smashing. We’ll spice things up and carve out a new plan. 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6593 We haven't been this squashed since the Pilgrims. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6594 I'm planning to carve a new image for this company, and I'm not intending to use that old dull safety knife. 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
6595 Thank you gentlemen, for agreeing with me that eleven pumpkin-heads is better than one! 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6596 I've sold the company to a squirrel-run venture capital firm and you'll be happy to know they've asked you all to stick around! 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6597 Okay--so all in favor of a leveraged buyout of Christmas...? 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6598 Thank you gentlemen for following my suggestion. We are now ready to impress the CEO, Jack O'Lantern and get our project approved. 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6599 I think we need more carving tools. 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6600 Whatarya ... out of your gourds!! We're IN the Gourd Room! 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6601 I'm optimistic that all of you will be able to shed some light on the issue at hand 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
6602 I’m off to the patch. Time to find someone with guts! 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6603 All right, pumpkin heads, ..... 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6604 We are facing a hostile takeover from Peter Peter Inc. It’s going to take guts you might not think you have to get through this. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6605 Now that Halloween is over, you've all been transferred to the spice-latte department 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6606 So happy there's not a pumpkin kisser among you! 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6607 Well, I like it. End of discussion. 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6608 Plans for Christmas this year? Anyone? 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6609 Happy to see you all made it across the bridge 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6610 Who's going to make my pumpkin spice latte? 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6611 Let me reassure you. Pie is not on the menu. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6612 Personnel department says there should be some female pumpkins at the table, let's vote. 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
6613 Today, I'm announcing our $200 billion bid for Thanksgiving. 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
6614 Watch where the hand is pointing! Yun Jia, Cumming, Ga 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6615 Yes, that Elon Musk... 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6616 Okay. You can all do this. It only takes a little practice. Ready? All together now. Smile! 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
6617 ``I've decided to take Elon Musk's call.'' 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6618 Due to recent budget cuts, all children will receive candy corn this year. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6619 Alright lets start this pepo or this pompion so lets lighten up 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6620 Charlie, you’ll be working Sleepy Hollow. 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6621 We're going to smash some heads around here! 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6622 I am a jack-of-all-trades, while you guys are unfortunately masters of none! 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6623 A Class Action might be the way to outlaw Halloween pumpkin massacres 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6624 We’re all about pumpkin spice. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6625 I have just been named Jack of All Trades. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6626 No worries, the template has been fixed! 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6627 Next topic on our agenda is Improving Diversity. You’re up Gourd 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6628 Come on Men - smile! The cider and donuts will arrive on November 1 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6629 Thoughts on our Halloween spirit initiative? 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6630 I've reviewed your pitches and am delighted to announce we'll be sticking with open-flame candles this year 1.1379 0.05741 58 52 4 2
6631 I'm your new CEO David S. Pumpkins. Any questions? 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6632 Ok, let's get on with our November 1 plans. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6633 Our shareholders want us to have The Smashing Pumpkins as entertainment at the Annual Meeting. 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6634 Can't you tell, I'm the only one getting a raise this year. 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6635 You can do it yourself! Just get in front of a moor with a paring knife...... 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6636 Good news is you're all in on the big night. Bad news is you'll be canned in a week." 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6637 Okay,we all agree to have cookies for our coffee break,avoiding the problematic “pie.” 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6638 We'll call it pumpkin spice. And three months every fall, we put it in, -EVERYTHING!- 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6639 In the future all of our pumpkins will be NFTs. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6640 Now that craft corner is over, let's discuss the layoffs." 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6641 Shall we go in camera? 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6642 Chairman of the Gourd Heads. Will. Roll. Pumpkynergy CEO’ Lantern 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6643 Mr. Potato Head has assured me that we'll all have great jobs. 1.1379 0.05741 58 52 4 2
6644 I imagine these layoffs caught you off gourd 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6645 You'll see, here in the pie chart, we carved out significant gains this quarter. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6646 The new owner is going to carve out much of middle management and turn the rest into muskmelons. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6647 And the good news is--ok ok, there is no good news, but still... 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6648 My first act as the new Great Pumpkin is canning all of you. 1.1379 0.05741 58 52 4 2
6649 No diversity, now I’m really scared! 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6650 @newyorkercartoons “Thank you all for carving time out of your busy schedules for this meeting. “ 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6651 Fellas, I’ve taken care of Santa for good so no need to wear those silly red hats ever again! 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6652 Wait who’s heading this thing? 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
6653 Now Jack, would you please start off the meeting? 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6654 Based on sales last half quarter, we are quite popular among everyone. Let's hope the trend keeps rising 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6655 Carving out happy solutions for our customers starts at the top. 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
6656 Cauldwell, don't you know that you can't get a head without a stem? 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6657 All I'm saying is that if they can do it, we can add our own brand of "pumpkin spice" into the work day as well. 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
6658 Ever since the new CEO took over, it was never safe to assume anything was misspelled on a memo. 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6659 Tonight! tonight! I think it's a smashing idea! 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6660 I'm announcing a merger with American Candle. 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
6661 C'mon, Johnson. Is anything left in that head of yours or has it all been scooped out? 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6662 Look,we work the 'seeds' angle with the health nuts,push bread,bread bread to everyone else - we can go all-seasonal by next year 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
6663 The good new is, Thanksgiving has been cancelled! 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6664 We need a volunteer for the position of VP for diversity,equity,and inclusion 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
6665 This year's jack-o'-lantern proceeds will be transferred to the next of pumpkin. 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6666 I'm as upset that we'll all be rotten soon as the rest of you, this is just the expression a child carved into me. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
6667 Why all the sad faces? Oh right, cut that way. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
6668 It’s time to start thinking about our next of kin. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
6669 Would anyone like to light up the room? 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
6670 I regret to inform you in five days we will be irrelevant, thus effectively ending all of our positions as Jack o lanterns. Gourds will be taking over 11/1. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
6671 You see this look? That’s the look of a winner! The rest of you will be out with the trash in a week! 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
6672 I'm retiring Friday. The quarterly results come out Monday. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6673 Let's get to work now; we don't want to be burning the candles at both ends again. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
6674 Is everyone coming up empty? 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6675 OK, as you know at midnight we get 24 days of relief as turkeys before those damned reindeers again 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
6676 I predict huge year-end bonuses. Of course by then, your heads will have turned to mush. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
6677 Why all the sad pumpkin faces? 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
6678 Is it just me,or is this diversity training seminar getting bogged down in groupthink? 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
6679 I'm not going to lie, the candle will be tricky. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
6680 The first item on the agenda is that we department heads have business cards (and not pumpkin heads ) here at Pumpkin Patch. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
6681 Which one of you volunteers to make the pumpkin pie? 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6682 I need a volunteer to stick a burning candle in your mouth so we can all enjoy the evening.. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6683 I thought you all would be pleased that we have gotten rid of Mr Potato Head 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6684 Meeting adjourned. Now let's go haunt some houses. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
6685 Call me off my gourd, but the future is squash. 1.1364 0.05233 44 38 6 0
6686 I think our ROI is seasonal. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6687 But this year we are going to have to carve things differently! 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6688 I understand how you feel, but the board wants to move in a candy apple direction going forward. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6689 There should be a law against pumpkin pie. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6690 We need to work on a sustainable plastic pumpkin we can bring out every year like the fake trees at Xmas! 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6691 For this year's corporate retreat, we're going out to get smashed. 1.1364 0.06966 44 40 2 2
6692 Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater, our director of gourds, has been charged with kidnapping his wife and imprisoning her in a pumpkin shell. Defense attorney Jack O'Lantern declares Peter innocent of all charges. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6693 Let's face it. We're heads above the rest. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
6694 Thank you all for attending my self-absorbed Halloween costume party... 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6695 I think one of here is an imposter 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
6696 I’m glad no one came as seasonal squash this year. I’m looking at you Eric” 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6697 And that is what privileged people call diversity 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
6698 This year, Fall lattes will be human spiced. They’ll never see it coming. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
6699 I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but corporate just decided. It's time to hit the road, Jacks. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
6700 And lastly team, I’d like to announce Billy Corgan and his band have been confirmed for the Christmas Party this year! 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
6701 We’ve resolved the pumpkin shortage. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6702 I hope you’re ready to start programming for NPR’s fall membership pledge drive! 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
6703 Alright, let’s turn that frown upside down. Get out your carving knives! 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6704 Any light bulb moments? Anyone? 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
6705 Aren't you happy you were fed organic mulch? 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
6706 As for diversity and inclusion, our optics aren't good. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6707 Next on the gourd of directors agenda…our biodiversity equity and inclusion performance 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6708 First off, I’d like to thank everyone for coming in on Thanksgiving. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6709 This year we’ll be handing out our annual Halloween bonuses anonymously 1.1356 0.05648 59 53 4 2
6710 As part of the company’s downsizing policy, you’ll all be replaced by cantaloupes. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6711 We're seeing a record demand for pumpkin heads this year... 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6712 They suspect nothing. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6713 We are going to have to gourd our loins. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6714 Alright listen up. He is going to run again but we have to be like a big loyal family… right down to the same hue. 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6715 One of you will take this seat when I rot. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6716 What’s this I hear about needing diversity on our board? 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6717 Now I know a lot of you are upset about the company’s recent cuts… 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6718 Meeting adjourned. Let's go play squash. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6719 All right, we've got to find out as much as we can about this Ichabod Crane guy! 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6720 If they ever find out there’s no pumpkin in pumpkin spice, then heads will role. 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6721 You all think I’m a Pollyanna, but I am the CEO and I say damn the Fed and the recession, we’re going to borrow lots of money and expand! 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6722 Gentlemen, we're moving in a new direction...Gourds. 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6723 Looks like we all went for the most scary costume this year - the "previous guy" 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6724 I'm sorry to announce that the end is near, but remember the pies. 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6725 For this season's festivities, may I suggest, More animated Pumpkin Heads... 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6726 Pumpkin Meeting Season 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6727 Well, we've finally reached the month where we can do what we normally do and be applauded 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6728 I thought I’d carve out some time ahead of the Halloween weekend. 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6729 Looks like this quarter is carving out to be one of our best in a decade! 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6730 It's fall! Time to put some spice back into your life!! 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
6731 So, who is ready to be carved this Halloween? 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
6732 Resolution to change our color away from orange has passed unanimously, for reasons that need to be stated. 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
6733 We’re expanding to a full year operation. Jenkins, you take November. Ryan, I’d like you to tackle December. Peterson…. 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
6734 In retrospect, maybe crypto-pumpkinz were a bad idea 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
6735 All in favor of moving the beginning of pumpkin spice season to April say eye. 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
6736 Sometimes I wonder if escaping that pumpkin patch to create an evil corporation, was really a gourd idea. 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
6737 We're going for door to door approach this year again. Let the people see your inner glow of enthusiasm. 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
6738 Let’s turn those frowns upside down! 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
6739 Of course, we’ll have to make some cuts in the fourth quarter. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6740 The board approved a stalk split. Start-up employees will each be given their very own zero-day patch. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6741 To get beyond the PSL, we need more diversity on our board. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6742 Who canceled the Pumpkin Patch Kids? 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6743 I see you all got your bonus checks.thanks 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6744 Not to worry, gentlemen - our equity and diversity initiative doesn’t mean any of you will be replaced by Jane O’Lanterns. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6745 Once again, please include last names on your name tags. Right now we have a room full of Jacks… 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6746 They’re called breasts and we all have them. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
6747 Next on the agenda Jack will update us on the pie distribution. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6748 So it’s unanimous. The company’s new motto is “A smile is a frown if you turn it upside down.l 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6749 It's been a very 'gourd' year -- why 'orange' you happy? Okay, okay, okay ... I'm promoting Wilson to Jack-'o-lantern! 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
6750 How many of you vote to continue the habit of self-mutilation and how many of you prefer using Sharpie pens 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6751 Next on the agenda is turning your frowns upside down. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6752 …but the good news is that, because we’ll all rot within about two weeks, there won’t be a need for any layoffs. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6753 Trust me, gentlemen. I firmly believe a gourd or two can bring fresh perpsective to company leadership. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6754 Inasmuch as we mourn Chairman Gourdon having gone to seed, I am pleased to announce that corporate has decided to reinstate the dental plan.” 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
6755 Yes, delicata squash is doing exceptionally well this quarter - but I know we can compete! 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6756 Returns continue to increase,November should be excellent. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
6757 He obviously got the memo about smiling and smiling and being a villain 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
6758 Cheer up everyone. Elon Musk now owns Twitter. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6759 While the Spice Girls freshen up, why don't we vote on which five of you will partner with them for the Endless Edibles events of the Fall season? 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6760 How can we deal with those accusations that we're spread too thin? 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
6761 So we all agree, pumpkins stay on until November 1 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
6762 Gourd futures have tanked. This is the time for Jack to think out of the box! 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6763 Gentlemen, the sketch from the police artist arrived… we have a suspect. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
6764 Who will be presenting the pumpkin pie charts? 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
6765 If we don't meet our deadline this quarter, heads will roll 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
6766 Let’s all put our carved-out heads together and really think outside the lantern. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
6767 This quarter, we really need to carve out a plan to beat that Jack o’ all trades, Trader Joe.. he always has a new recipe to destroy us 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
6768 HR is asking that you approach it as “an opportunity to help the company achieve those elusive fourth quarter profits” rather than “getting your head chopped off and served in a Thanksgiving pie.” 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
6769 I know I say this every year, but repeated spiced latte-ness will result in disciplinary action being taken. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
6770 All in favor of a union raise your stem! 1.1333 0.04777 75 67 6 2
6771 How should we recover from the trauma of being mass carved... 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
6772 I have a plan to squash the competition. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
6773 Minions?? no, I shall call you all... Trumpkins. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6774 Our profits are getting squashed this quarter. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
6775 I say let's ignore those stock numbers and carve those frowns upside down 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
6776 Moreover, nothing is carved in stone! 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
6777 We're working late tonight! 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6778 Management says this is just a way to prepare us for thanksgiving 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6779 Remember to dress as turkeys next month. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6780 I don't want to hear any complaints. The seeds boost performance. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6781 What I need now are jacks of all trades. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6782 Just got off the phone with Abraham. Unfortunately,due to low earnings this quarter,heads will roll. 1.1333 0.04777 75 67 6 2
6783 Now I know we're proud that here we're independent thinkers 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
6784 Simply stand on your head and smile" 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
6785 I thought tbis might boost our spirits. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
6786 There’s something to be said about anonymity. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6787 It's fire season 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
6788 'If we put our heads together, I think we can come up with some gourd ideas.' 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
6789 Here at Headless Horseman and Sons we take ruining Halloween very seriously. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6790 I don’t want to squash your spirits, but tomorrow in November 1. 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
6791 Well then, gentlemen-- I've settled it, unanimously! Next year's shareholders' meeting destination: Mar a Lago! " Great minds..." as we say. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6792 Control the pumpkin spice, control the suburb 'verse. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6793 And no one thought we would ever get ahead! 1.1333 0.04777 75 67 6 2
6794 I'm not seeing any lit up faces 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
6795 Company morale is slipping. We need to turn those frowns upside down. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6796 I am glad no ghost can reach us,we are all safe in Nee York City. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
6797 We need to stop sacrificing our kind to the useless lattes. Enough with the martyrs. 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
6798 Sorry gourds, you're being demoted to the purée division 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
6799 Heya Charlie, where’d your Peduncle go? 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6800 We need to move quickly, but the last thing we want to do is spook the market 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
6801 We need to recruit Cinderellas 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
6802 You may be wondering why I called this gourd meeting… 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6803 The board mentioned there can only be one Headless Horseman this year… and it’s gonna be me. 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
6804 I see only gutless leadership in this room. 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
6805 O.K. fellow pumpkin heads, we have a motion to ban the cruel cutting up of our faces in favor of non-toxic painted faces" 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
6806 Despite the fact that the initial in-house trials of our new Genetic Engineering therapy injection have some some, uh, unanticipated side-effects, I think we can all agree that our product will be a big winner! 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
6807 Alright, let's start another meeting of "The Soulless Horsemen." 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
6808 Guess what kind of pie we are having for coffee break? 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
6809 Smiling instead of a frown is a choice! 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
6810 Gourds... 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
6811 Some say a headless ghost tossed Jenkins' head out the fourth-story window. Others say his department missed their end-of-the-month earnings numbers." 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
6812 Turn those frowns upside-down, gang! Jack-O Lanterns Inc® is riding the pumpkin spice wave to record sales. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
6813 Yes, "Decap-O-Tate" . I will not be involved. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
6814 Any other ideas to corner the pumpkin market? 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
6815 …and so we bid a fond farewell to Jenkins on this, his retirement day. Simpson... the compost bin! 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
6816 Great job team! Now I am going to randomly select the Headless Horseman who is going to lead us in a reenactment of the horse chase scene and then we're going to dunk for apples. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
6817 Headquarters has suggested the quickest way to turn your frowns into smiles. 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
6818 We will not be doing lighted pumpkins this year. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
6819 Good news Pumpkin heads... We've changed out name 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
6820 Some of you will be teaming up with spice this week. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
6821 Alright people, we have decided to book 'The Smashing Pumpkins' for this years annual halloween party... 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
6822 So gentlemen, who are we going to Smash up this month? 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
6823 How do we feel about a pie eating contest for this year’s office party? 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
6824 This meeting will be a smashing success! 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6825 Let's hope we all survive Thanksgiving! 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
6826 I changed my name to Donald Jack "O" Lantern Trumpkin. This disguise should keep that witch Liz Cheney from serving us the subpoena for 6 January stuff. Marjorie Taylor Green you'll have to change your last name to Orange. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6827 Senior management has decided we deserve treats. Don't worry, we have something for you too. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6828 We need to find a new carver for the group-you all look the same. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6829 What makes you think I got a raise?” 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6830 I'm pleased to share that our acquisition by Martha Stewart will be announced before Thanksgiving. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6831 I've decided we need a more positive outlook. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6832 It wouldn't be a pump-and-dump scheme without smashing a few pumpkins now, would it? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6833 Be glad someone cleaned all that goop and slime out. Now we can get down to shrinking down to size. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6834 Remember, guys, don't hide you head in a bushel! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6835 Burning the candle at both ends is never easy. However, due to rising costs we'll have to again postpone completing the company wide upgrade to LEDs 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6836 Let me start by saying I'm sorry for my behavior at the last board meeting. I was out of my gourd. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6837 Get Ready to Have Your Minds Blown! 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6838 The decorations department will have our heads for this 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
6839 Let's carve those frowns upside down. 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
6840 Unfortunately, several positions will have to be sacrificed to improve our next pie chart. 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
6841 I think we went too far with the pumpkin flavoring. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
6842 Welcome to our quarterly Gourd meeting 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
6843 Here at Sleepy Hollow Mannequi ...wait, is that Ichibod Crane I see over there? Crane, I thought you quit! 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
6844 Unsurprisingly, our numbers for November are not where we want them to be. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
6845 And for that reason, we will be purging our Board of nepotism. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
6846 The only way one of you won’t end up in a pie with them, is for you all to come up with better tasting human spice. 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 4 2
6847 I'll be keeping all of the profits from Headless Horsemen Inc. and spending them on things like cool red capes and black stallions. I'll be giving you nothing. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6848 If trends continue like this, we'll all be very rich by January. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6849 I see you all agree to table this conversation until the 31st. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6850 We need a volunteer to appear on our network’s new reality show “Ink and Pierce Your Pumpkin”. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6851 The witches turned down the merger. They said that eye of newt doesn't go well with pumpkin spice. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
6852 Mom's Irish, Dad's an Orangeman, so I'm Jack O'Lantern. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6853 Does the rot start at the head or the root? 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
6854 I think it’s time we went on a counteroffensive and moved Halloween to Christmas Eve 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6855 It was a good month. Our namesake wasn’t indicted 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6856 And now I have the pleasure to announce which one of you will be our next Thanksgiving pie! 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6857 Christmas is around the corner, we can change our heads to roasted oven turkeys ! 🎃 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
6858 Okay boys. Historic seasonal trends, as well as the pie chart, indicate we go all in now - then dump everything before the closing bell on the 31st. 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 4 2
6859 I’m closing the company. Wait, wait, you all have to admit the light went out of our eyes a looong time ago. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6860 So the diversity officer would like to speak with us on Tuesday 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 4 2
6861 Unfortunately we won't be giving any pie rises this year 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6862 Ok, we need overtake Christmas sales next year, and I have a plan. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6863 I killed Pumpkin Christ 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
6864 Cheer up, I have a plan to make the most of our time left before the big lighting! 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
6865 ... and that's why reducing our overhead this year should be easy as pie. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
6866 I'm happy to report our lotte sales are up nearly 500 percent. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
6867 Maybe some of us just weren't cut out to be happy at work. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
6868 Ok guys. Numbers are down. We are going to need a little more candle power to address the seeds of discontent from shareholders. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
6869 I really feel that the claims of hypocrisy by our anti-pumpkin defamation board members will blow over 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
6870 We’ve got to squash these rumors of a December takeover. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
6871 Elon’s first day at Twitter: “Why all the glum faces? Trust me, you’ll be much happier back on the porch.” 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6872 Okay, for the last time... it's not Ichabod, it's CRAIN's the business magazine" 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
6873 With all due respect, Mr. Chairman, doesn't this rebranding compromise our relevance during the rest of the year? 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
6874 O.K. Your choic 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
6875 Sorry guys, but we can't go public with a board where everyone is named Jack. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
6876 No, I'm not kidding. It's been a tough year and these beautifully carved Jack-O-Lanterns are your bonus. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
6877 Happy Halloween 🎃 And see you on Monday, maybe? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
6878 The board would like to thank you for adhering to the no-cell-phone zone and for keeping your heads this season. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
6879 This has been an excellent year here at PumpkinCorp. We have truly squashed our competitors! 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
6880 Jack, the big city doesn’t have patches. What do you think we’re all doing in these high rises? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
6881 This year’s conference will include a concert headlined by @smashingpumpkins 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
6882 We're going to call it The Nightmare Before Christmas" 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
6883 When I said trick or treat, it was a trick, and I expect a treat. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
6884 All in favor of re-nominating The Great Pumpkin as our Leader say “Aye.” 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
6885 Will the real Jack stand... 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
6886 Ok, the spice thing for fall is done, the pie thing for November is long over... What do we do for first quarter?? 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
6887 Okay, so let's put our collective heads together and come up with something really unique. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
6888 ‘Twas the night before the Elon Musk take over, and all through the Twitter Boardroom… 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
6889 ...and I have two tickets to Smashing Pumpkins concert... 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
6890 This is the annual Headless Horsemen recruiting session. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6891 Unfortunately, half of will need to be made into pie/ 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6892 Let me reassure you that there is no conflict of interest with us representing The Smashing Pumpkins. You see smashing is used as an adjective, you know, the British way! 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6893 For annual reviews, I intend to carve out time with each of you. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6894 I was testing who are my worthless yes-men, so it looks like you're all fired. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6895 Welcome to the 'O Lantern Group, Jack! This is Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, and of course, I'm Jack. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6896 As usual, sign, and roll up each of your suggestions for my bonus. Swivel 180 degrees. And this year insert the suggestions into my LEFT eye. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6897 Let's carve out a productive agenda for today's meeting! 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6898 The big news is that we're downsizing, starting with this board. Heads will roll! 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6899 To mix it up this year, it's going to be no treat and all tricks. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6900 And now, gentlemen, I have news that will carve those frowns upside down... 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6901 Don't just sit there like you are on some porch, people! 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6902 We are expecting a slight drop in profits after the new year 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6903 As interim Chair, I'd like to acknowledge Ichabod for identifying Ralph's whereabouts after his abrupt resignation from the Board... 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6904 What do you think, Jack? Or you, Jack? Jack, how about you? And what do you propose we do here, Jack? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
6905 A meeting doesn't turn into a party just because you use pumpkin. president. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
6906 I am here to tell you that after Halloween you will be fed to the squirrels. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6907 Is inviting Linus Van Pelt to the next board meeting really a good idea? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6908 Our third quarter was strong, but we've been hollowed out this October. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
6909 If our numbers don't improve before the end of the month your job could be on the line. 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
6910 Candy is the downfall of our youth today... 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
6911 So which one of you has what it takes to have a smile, quite literally, put on their face? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6912 We will be having individual reviews by a guy named “Peter Peter”! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6913 Pumpkin latte anyone? 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
6914 Aren’t you the Smug one? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6915 So the motion to admit jack-o-lanterns of green, white or yellow gourds is defeated 10-1 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
6916 And to further mark the change in seasons you may now address me as Chairman of the Gourd 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6917 Your bonus this year will be a 3-pack of mini Mars Bars. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6918 I’m looking at a room of jock-o-lanterns and I’m thinking squash tourney for the offsite! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6919 Now that we are past Halloween, let's talk about underperformer's headwater for Thanksgiving 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6920 Due to recent budget cuts, only those with smiles will be receiving bonuses this year 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6921 I'm a carved-right-side-up kind of Jack. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
6922 Our 4th quarter is going to be Smashing! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
6923 One of you needs to be smashed. Pick. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
6924 Welcome to this year's team and theme building session. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6925 We are getting overpopulated here. Take out you pie charts, it’s time to make that cut for the year! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
6926 Now if we don’t meet our October sales goals you all will be wearing a turkey on your head next month. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6927 Your Twitter accounts will be suspended. Good news, you can keep your Tesla power walls. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6928 Gentlemen, if the starting quarterly figures stay on track, by the end of the year we will all be getting into a big piece of pie. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
6929 Guess I’m in charge as I got the smiling pumpkin head! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
6930 Let's say thanks to Jack for the amazing pumpkin juice. Now let's get on to business 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
6931 Anyone have a suggestion on how we start thinking outside the gourd? How about you Peter, or maybe you Peter, perhaps you, Peter? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
6932 So as I said, our new ‘bring your authentic self’ leadership principle starts at the top. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
6933 While our Fall Gourd Display Division is down this quarter, our Pumpkin Spice Latte numbers are through the roof! 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
6934 We've carve out some time at our 10/31 meeting. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
6935 Good, gourd members,we all agree there is enough diversity on our gourd. 1.1286 0.05354 70 64 3 3
6936 So we all agree. What the average American needs is more pumpkin spice. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
6937 I'm selling it all to the Candle & Carving Kit Conglomerate. It will be for the best... 1.1286 0.05354 70 64 3 3
6938 Cheer up! We'll put our heads together and fool those pumpkin pirates! 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
6939 I know, I know... its difficult being popular for only one month of the year !... 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
6940 Keep your head up high / Don't you know you are the superfly / And that ain't no lie 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
6941 Don't complain. In a week the boss will have us switch to the Christmas theme. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
6942 OK, OK, I get it. You’re sick of pumpkin spice. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
6943 So HR carved out a plan I think everyone can get onboard with. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
6944 So, how do we capitalize on the whole Mt. Potato Head thing? 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
6945 Pumpkin soup is no longer favored by the market. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
6946 This month leaves me hollow too, but markets spook, gentlemen, and the holidays are just around the corner. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
6947 Now that our assets are all in place, it’s time to activate the plan for world domination 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
6948 So, there it is. I'm sorry to say that this year only one of you has made the cut. The rest of you are welcome to try again next year. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
6949 In preparation for the impending resession, we must carve out eliminating some positions to reach our bottom line. 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
6950 l don't know Davis, I just can't get my head around the candle idea. 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
6951 I know it’s hard to control our emotions but… 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
6952 Can’t you guys think of anything good to say about Halloween? 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
6953 If you don't figure it out be the end of the month, you're all gonna be squashed. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
6954 People are more afraid than ever—and without any extra expenses! 1.1277 0.05784 47 42 4 1
6955 Corporate decided to sell out to Libby's so your heads are all on the chopping block. 1.1277 0.05784 47 42 4 1
6956 "So Jacks, you all get a raise. You're scaring away all of the competition" 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
6957 It's just like the old capital depreciation tax deferment. Only it's pumpkin spice. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6958 I'd like to welcome our newest board member, oddly also named Jack. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6959 I haven’t been happier since I had that plastic surgeon give me a new face. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6960 Was it something I said? 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6961 Once halloween is over what should the new goblin dress code be? 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6962 We booked Billy Corgan for the holiday party! 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6963 This whole spice thing has gotten out of hand. That’s why I’ve invited Jack, head of public relations, to address us today. Jack, please shed some light on this problem. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6964 We are thinking of hiring our first zucchini head 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6965 Look, if they keep chanting 'Guillotine' every time we post a profit, this is the only solution. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6966 The butternuts are gaining market share. Let's squash them. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6967 The projections for the post-Halloween period are once again looking dismal. 1.1273 0.05834 55 50 3 2
6968 We do not want our seeds scooped out this quarter,so Heads Together! 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6969 this guys a Jack 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6970 It was all fun and games till they found out their mugs weren’t filled with the office coffee, but rather pumpkin spice lattes. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6971 In conclusion, I want to reassure everyone that representing “The Smashing Pumpkins” is perfectly safe. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6972 Talking heads unite! 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6973 Scaring people with our horsemen is a dead market, we need their pumpkins for our seasonal lattes. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6974 I know it’s thirsty Thursday but try not to get smashed tonight 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6975 I won the pumpkin carving contest 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6976 Gentlemen: Is that gleam I your eyes genuine enthusiasm for my turnaround plan, or have you just lit the candles in your heads again? 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6977 It appears that our thrteenth member has left for the holidays. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6978 Good idea Joe, but we're going to need something more cutting edge! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6979 Oh my gourd,we squashed last quarters' profit margin! 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
6980 All in favor answer bye 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6981 Pumpkin Spice.............GO! 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
6982 Pumpkin pie anyone? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
6983 I am happy to report that our "Pumpkin Head Diversity Day" is a complete success! Next week's meeting we are The Walrus! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6984 Swear to God, Johnson, sometimes I think you've got the brain of a Thanksgiving pie 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
6985 I regret to inform you, due to cost cuts we will be roasting our own seeds this year. 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
6986 Let's put our heads together and come up with a really good pie! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6987 Okay, almost the 31st. You all get off, because you have a deadline to be on door steps. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6988 I’m afraid I have to send one of you to a certain party. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6989 Now I'm done. Mr. Jack O. Lantern? It's your turn 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6990 Lighten up Gentlemen! The competition doesn't hold a candle to our innovation 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
6991 We will not bow to the Chinese who don’t value the North American freedom of expression and choices dear to our society! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6992 For the next phase of our plan,we will move our headquarters to Sleepy Hollow. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6993 Today is Happy Face Day. All of you in that department will get a bonus. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6994 The spooks are out tonight, so let's be careful we don't get smashed. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
6995 A frightening lack of diversity at gourd room level. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6996 psst, did bill get work done? his light looks a bit too bright. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6997 Ladies and gentlemen…this is our moment. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
6998 now, what do you think we should do in November when our heads start to rot? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
6999 Just my luck that the day I don't work from home is the only one where they make us put these stupid things on our heads 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
7000 garfield. lasagna. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
7001 Smashing Pumpkins have agreed to play at this year's office party! 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
7002 The last group was a bunch of clowns. 1.1268 0.04885 71 64 5 2
7003 Sorry, no treats this quarter, so let's get right to the tricks. 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
7004 The Latte industry is threatening our livelihood. We ride at dawn! 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
7005 Ichabod Crane will be replacing me as CEO 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
7006 We will rise and squash the heirloom pumpkins! Who is with me? 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
7007 I feel squashed 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
7008 I've just finalized a merger with Pamela's Pie Company. The bad news is most of you are cheese pumpkins. 1.1268 0.05281 71 65 3 3
7009 Ok, today some of you are going to help me make a pie. 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
7010 Can someone open my head for me? I have an idea stuck in there. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
7011 Okay everyone, let's hear your best morale boosting ideas! We need to relight the spark inside you all 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
7012 By unanimous vote, I have won the office costume contest again!” - ceo “dammit!” “of course…” “how!?!” “rigged” - the other pumpkin employee 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
7013 C’mon these are amazing numbers-carve me a smile! 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
7014 I’m sure if we all put our heads together we can make a patch for the app 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
7015 This quarter's earnings report is sure to turn those frowns upside down! 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
7016 It's not who you know; it's what they carve. 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
7017 We should get rid of the McRib 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
7018 We need to carve out some new ideas. 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
7019 We’ll clearly need to make some adjustments when we have our first profitable quarter. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
7020 The Annual Gourd Meeting reveals upcoming synergistic merger with Thanksgiving and subsequent employee pie-eating contest 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
7021 Which Jack? I want answers, not questions. 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
7022 It's Halloween. Be carefull out there. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
7023 Exciting news! We’ve been acquired by the United Candy Corn Company. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
7024 We're looking for a leader whose head hasn't been hollowed. Anyone here? 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
7025 Maybe we should just go back to using the Cone of Silence. 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
7026 Chicken? C'mon guys! What else can we add spice to? 1.1250 0.04824 48 42 6 0
7027 Good news, the supreme court has agreed to hear our case against Ichabod Crane. 1.1250 0.05669 48 43 4 1
7028 HR provided these IRL Zoom filters to aid in the transition back to the office. 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
7029 Good news! I’m wearing our new logo.! 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
7030 Bring your numbers up by the end of the third quarter or head WILL roll! 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
7031 We've decided to go with a more diverse crop of board members. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
7032 OK then it’s settled—no more pumpkin spice lattes! 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
7033 After Halloween we’ll be laying off 75% of the company. 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
7034 I’m happy to announce a cucumber head will be joining our board soon? 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
7035 The score (as we gather): Cowlicks 10, No Cowlick 1 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
7036 Consider being fired as an opportunity for personal enlightenment. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
7037 Many of you, I know, are looking forward to breaking out the Santa suits. 1.1250 0.04824 48 42 6 0
7038 Show of hands…I need a volunteer to become my wife’s pie? John Oesterle Burke, Va. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
7039 We have been approved to serve as the next pie. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
7040 I would appreciate it if all you guys would make like an egg and crack a smile. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
7041 Next on the agenda...squirrels. 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
7042 We should spice things up until Christmas. 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
7043 I'm pleased to report your transfer to the Spice Islands facility. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
7044 0K, team, time to announce the November fun theme. Starts with "T"... 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
7045 It's time we take down Big Candle. 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
7046 I'm happy to announce we're carving out a new look for ourselves 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
7047 I’ve heard rumors that because I am organic I’m not expected to last. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
7048 The Board is seeded and ready to begin. Let’s start by singing “Eleven little pumpkins sitting at the table…”. No one here is in the fence about anything. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
7049 Seriously guys, it’s not as scary as you think - you’ll all get an equal slice of the pie 1.1250 0.05669 48 43 4 1
7050 Alright gentlemen, next up in seasonal headwear: turkeys. 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
7051 You all are Jack-o-lanterns, I am a Jack-of-all-trades. Today my light goes out for this company! 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
7052 Hey team, it’s time to carve those frowns upside down! 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
7053 -“I knew it, I’m surrounded by Jack-O’s” 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
7054 So then, it’s an official gourd of directors opinion; it’s better to be in a pie than a carbonara.” #squashproblem 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
7055 Mariah Carrie jingle stock is rising fast and none of you have anything to say about it 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
7056 First New York, then Berlin, and tomorrow nightmares and dreams ! 1.1250 0.04824 48 42 6 0
7057 I need fresh ideas, not the old folk wisdom from the pumpkin patch of our grandparents! 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
7058 i see seeds of doubt in all of you 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
7059 These brainstorming sessions have really impacted our market share with the 25-35 female demographic. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
7060 What I don’t need is a bunch of Yes Men! 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
7061 Anyone for pie? 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
7062 Get ready to carve out more time on the weekends for data entry. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
7063 Gentlemen, I’ve received notice from HR that some demons have filed a complaint alleging cultural appropriation. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
7064 Fortunately, pumpkins can't talk 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
7065 Gentlemen, I'm happy to say that pumpkin sales are going way up as heads continue to fall. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
7066 Gentlemen, please make sure those frowns are turned upside down by Halloween! 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
7067 Hey guys, let's not have everyone lose their stems over this! 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
7068 Come on cheer up, the bonuses will be better next year. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
7069 It’s just business, nothing personal, but some of you will end up smashed. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
7070 Whatever you say, Jack. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
7071 Then it’s settled, the first one to mildew is a rotten egg. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
7072 'Twas a dark and stormy night. In the depths of Recession Forest lurked stagflation, watching, waiting, ready to devour annual bonuses. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
7073 Thank you all for carving out time for this meeting... 1.1231 0.05146 65 59 4 2
7074 I’m afraid we’ve become too reliant on our seasonal work force. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
7075 We've been bought out by Big Pork. It will require a change in head gear. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
7076 Then we replace all the world's cinnamon with cayenne. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
7077 I have noticed a real decline in the morale around here. Seems like no one has that spark we used to have when we worked from home. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
7078 Today we are voting on boycotting pumpkin chunkin this year. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
7079 I’ve invited Top Chef to do a pastry challenge here.” 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
7080 Just a reminder; Ha;oween is not for us Pumplin Heads! 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
7081 We are going to need to put our heads together to make sure there are ample sweet dividends for all the share holders! 🎃 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
7082 Team, let's hear some ideas for turning those frowns upside down. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
7083 I think it’s high time we carve out a new outlook on our performance. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
7084 Profits have surged during October for all pumpkins. We expect this trend to carry on through the winter, which is why we’ve decided not to sell. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
7085 Guys, Christmas is trui to invade early.. How do we solve this 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
7086 The good news: We'll finish the year in fine shape; the bad news: Some heads will have to roll. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
7087 Why the gloomy faces? We had great sales in October! 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
7088 It's taken a while but we finally have a board that's 100% pumpkin bred. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
7089 First, I'd like each of you to tell me how much of a privilege it has been to serve on my cabinet. 1.1228 0.05636 57 52 3 2
7090 For our family Holloween party we will play Smashing Pumkins. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
7091 ...and then after the Turkey Masks we could go with Giant Santa Hats! 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
7092 Who's up for some lit candles? 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
7093 Let's put a little spice in this meeting! 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
7094 Anyone feel like twitting? 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
7095 I’ll bet you’re all wondering why I called this ‘treating’. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
7096 I’ve taken a position at the North Pole. If you can’t beat them, join them. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
7097 Some of you will leave here w/pie on your face. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
7098 Well, gentleman, with those faces we are not going to get anything 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
7099 - “Instagram has spoken. We’re pivoting to stencils.” 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
7100 All of them are slimy inside Johnson 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
7101 We’re thinking of changing our campaign to headless businessman 1.1228 0.05636 57 52 3 2
7102 Friday Night Frights appears to be a smashing success; only gourd reviews thus far 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
7103 Gentlemen, I'd advise you not to allow October fest misdirect your sober judgment' 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
7104 If this advertising campaign doesn't succeed, heads will roll. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
7105 I have decided to leave my fortune to charity. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
7106 The company wants you to be happy like me, so you'll all need to be re-carved. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7107 Our Halloween numbers are lower than expected, but we can still meet our sales forecast for the year if pumpkin pie sales for Thanksgiving are strong. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7108 Wipe off those scary faces and accept there can only be ONE Jack o`Lantern" 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7109 Carve yourselves some smiles everyone, I've got good news! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7110 Don't be afraid; it's just an annual meeting. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7111 You’re not cut out for this boardroom. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7112 Pump, Kin and Partners We fright for your rights 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7113 That's right. I want all your seeds by the morning. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7114 I've got a trick or treat for you gentlemen! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7115 You all look so sad--Guess the Lobotomies were on a Monday. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7116 I’m afraid this quarter we’ve been squashed 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7117 In recognition of your outstanding achievements as Halloween Jack-O-Lanterns, I’m promoting each of you to Thanksgiving Pumpkin Pies. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7118 Let’s carve out some fun 😂 1.1224 0.03631 98 87 10 1
7119 As I look at each of you seated at this grand conference table, I can think of only one thing - 'plastic surgery'. 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
7120 Actually, I hate the holiday. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
7121 Sorry, but we're going to have to smash the budget. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
7122 Let’s get to work on those pumpkin pie charts. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
7123 Welcome to our yearly meeting of Jack-O-Lanterns United. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
7124 Today, we are going to eat pumpkin pie. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
7125 Our pie union thinks we can increase employment by adding apple and cherry to our line. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
7126 Jack’s insistence on us strictly adhering to the new dress code has gone too far. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
7127 We just signed a deal with Costco 1.1216 0.04695 74 67 5 2
7128 The executive team is pleased to launch the new "Pumpkins for Christmas" strategy. Now make it work. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
7129 Hey Jacko, your haunting leadership style makes us feel empty inside. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
7130 Once again, Our Time Has Arrived Pumpkin Heads!! 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7131 OK, so it's low profile again for Halloween? 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
7132 I want results,or I’ll start smashing pumpkins. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7133 We're being recalled to Syracuse. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
7134 Enough with the chit chat. Johnson, tell me where we stand on the merger with that company that makes those little flickers lights. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
7135 Now that Halloween is over, who’s going to be next years’ Pumpkin Latte. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7136 If having our heads scooped out and set ablaze from the inside wasn't bad enough, now the shareholders want to feed us to hippos. 1.1212 0.05071 66 60 4 2
7137 I have negotiated an agreement for our buyout by Aardvark International. All but one of the O'Lantern family will be removed from this board due to an apparent lack of diversity. Severance candles will be distributed based on seniority. Burrrrrrrrp! 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7138 There will be a downturn in November. On the upside, I have a great retirement package. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7139 Listen up, punkin’ heads. Sure, the dental plan has some holes, but, hey, look at your snazzy matching company suits. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7140 I can see you’ve all tried to carve out a place for yourselves. I just happened to have done it better. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7141 This was supposed to be a FUN meeting, but apparently the kids had something else in mind. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7142 There's a motion on the table to squash that proposal. How do we vote? 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
7143 Give me some ideas, I know you aren't all hollow-heads. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7144 With a little help, you all could look smashing. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7145 Because of a lack of inventory this season, alot of you will need to handover your heads. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
7146 I'm seeing a lot of frowny faces around the table. What is it you're not telling me? 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
7147 But we can always sell pies. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7148 Exciting news! We’re transitioning into tomato production. 1.1212 0.05071 66 60 4 2
7149 We're here to discuss the troublesome act of smashing pumpkins. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7150 For our first board meeting under new management, let's eliminate pumpkin spice donuts and coffee from the menu. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
7151 I feel like we can carve out some options… 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7152 Good morning, and thanks for helping me feel better about my terrible accident. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
7153 Now that we have all of offensive starting unit for our football team here,I want to announce that if any of our pumpkins get smashed,we will be using the new NFL protocol for possible concussions during our next game. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7154 Halloween is going to be happy this year so you're all fired." 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7155 Corporate is holding a pie-making competition and you're all expected to fully commit yourselves to it! 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
7156 I'm going to need you to dig deeper here... 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7157 Surely someone has the guts to vote Nay. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
7158 Unbelievable! 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7159 Now, as you know, the Rosses had considerable monies. They had many, many monies. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
7160 Why am I the only one smiling, says the Bos 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
7161 What can we do to patch things up with our scareholders? 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
7162 They said we're a bunch of stuffed shirts and talking heads. We'll show them... 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
7163 I see not only empty heads but yes-men too! 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
7164 Call me Jack O Lantern, The way i be pumpin’ out that kin, Got more baby mamas out there Than nick cannon Put you all on the board Just like hbo succession Cuz when i met your mamas I gotta that good suck session 1.1207 0.05542 58 53 3 2
7165 Since the markets are trending “up”, you all will be replaced next week! Rick Kalamaya Longmont, Colorado 1.1207 0.05542 58 53 3 2
7166 I'll ride through Sleepy Hollow tonight. You can all sit on doorsteps. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
7167 Smashing Pumpkins will be our new slogan! 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
7168 Any smart aleck remarks and I'll carve you a new one. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
7169 Don’t look so gloomy. We’ll all be decayed soon, but put on your happy faces and say “Happy Halloween!” 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
7170 Your strategy is smashing,pumpkins! 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
7171 Listen here, I'm Chairman of the Gourd! 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
7172 I'm sorry. The vegans have backed out on our contract. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
7173 Let us begin the 1st Annual Board of Directors meeting of the Jack O' Lantern Labor Association Halloween Revenge Planning Task Force... 1.1207 0.05542 58 53 3 2
7174 I forgot the spice. Sorry. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
7175 Now, who wants to sign up for the Squash tournament next week? 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
7176 Blinksworth, when you talk of “carving out an exception”, what exactly are you getting at? 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
7177 THE BUS TO TAKE US TO AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION IS READY TO GO! 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
7178 Gentlemen, the good news is that you can count on me at the helm, despite your unanimous vote of no-confidence 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
7179 The meeting of the jack of all trades 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
7180 A festive alternative to working from home this season… face masks. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
7181 There’s a pumpkin shortage, your asses are on the line. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
7182 It’s time we start brainstorming other spiced late flavor ideas 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
7183 Looks like gingerbread is cancelled this year! This opportunity asks for some sacrifices. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
7184 Listen Jack, these candy corns are your responsibility. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
7185 Pumpkin leadership head 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
7186 I hate to tell you this, guys, but your days here are numbered. Time to look for a new gig. 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
7187 To find a solution, I believe that if we all put our heads together we'll come up with something good. 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
7188 I’m sorry to tell you this, but you’re all going to be smashed. 1.1200 0.04634 75 68 5 2
7189 Which one of you proposed us going into a seed round! 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
7190 I see a brisk October but a meltdown for late November... 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7191 Let's vote on it. Now remember, we're all kin. 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
7192 Overall, our consultants had positive things to say. But they s highly recommend we start a diversity program. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7193 I finalized the deal today to sell Pumpkin Twitter! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7194 You all look embarrassed! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7195 Did everyone carve their human for Halloween? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7196 ‘New UK Cabinet meeting in full swing’ 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
7197 Just got off the phone with Jack from corporate - our division has been carved out, effective immediately 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
7198 He always makes that face when he's got a ghoulish trick planned 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
7199 Well, on the plus side, you all get to go back to pasture. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
7200 This may upset some of you, but we have decided to use carve-outs to help control the cost of our health insurance. 1.1194 0.04998 67 61 4 2
7201 Now, how can we save ourselves come November first? 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
7202 Well, before I make my final decision, does anyone want a 2nd chance at carving your heads? 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
7203 By this time next fall, what was once just a season will be a pumpkin spice EMPIRE! 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
7204 Pump Kins 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
7205 And guess where are we going to stick our heads at Thanksgiving! 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
7206 Biden meets with the Repumpkin caucus. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
7207 Good News! Our seasonal profits have far outstripped that of mere garden guarding. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
7208 Profits are up, thank goodness we still have humans convinced pumpkin spice is good. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
7209 And for this year’s Office Halloween party, the ghouls have promised pumpkin pie! 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
7210 Must EVERYONE wear the same spicy cologne this time of year? 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
7211 I have bad news, Jack. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
7212 If we put our heads together, I'm sure we can outperform those bums in 'cute scarecrows'. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
7213 Gentlemen, I'm glad to report the carve-out was a success. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
7214 Now I’m sure you’re wondering why I carved you all into existence, then staged you around this table today.. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
7215 I said we were needed for a 'Bakers Dozen' so what happened to the other two? 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
7216 Our Halloween merchandise sales have never been better! 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
7217 So then I said, “Pardon me. Do you have any Grey Poupon?” You should have seen the look on that squash’s face. 1.1186 0.05451 59 54 3 2
7218 Let’s get a knife and turn those frowns upside down. 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
7219 OK,Pumpkinheads,listen up! 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
7220 Do I hear "Aye" on the pumpkin spice apparel proposal? 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
7221 I am the one who is full of piss while the rest of you are empty of piss tee hee hee 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
7222 That was just the beginning, now we need to penetrate the Christmas' market 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
7223 I just don't see how we're carved out to survive another recession. 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
7224 Y’all are all getting turn into pumpkin pie 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
7225 Maybe we should sacrifice some of our employees for our fall menu 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
7226 I'm glad you all got my memo about the new office dress code 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
7227 Next item on the agenda— how can we better approach DE&I within our organization? 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
7228 What a bunch of gourds, they all think they're so smart. 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
7229 think it’s important to carve out some more time for more meetings to arrange meeting 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
7230 These overhead costs have been KILLING us. 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
7231 The name of the new client we will be representing is Billy Corgan. Yes, the singer-songwriter. Is this a conflict of interest for anyone? 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
7232 With October ending, we will need to be discussing layoffs. 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
7233 Welcome, fellas, to the Committee on Watermelon Regulation. 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
7234 Guys! This months results just aren’t good enough! Pumpkins gotta give! 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
7235 The board will be pleased to learn that our PR effort has continued its century-long dominance over tam-o'-shanters and will-o'-the-wisps. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
7236 To share this Ghoulish holiday, I'm sending all you Pumpkin Heads to Russia 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
7237 I'm the pumpking and together we will squash them all 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
7238 Why so glum, the third quarter wasn't that bad ! 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
7239 We’ll Team, I had a choice and reached the conclusion that pumpkins were better choice than Dundee’s. 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
7240 Okay, so the plastic surgery was botched but let’s not forget we are still Rotary Club members. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
7241 So...Christmas? 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
7242 Gentlemen, I am happy to tell you that we've cornered the candle market - no more burning the roof of your mouth. 1.1176 0.04927 68 62 4 2
7243 No smiles? Shall I make some further cuts? 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
7244 Let’s put our heads together, and come up with ways to cancel Halloween.”! 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
7245 We're not Parrot Heads! 1.1176 0.05354 68 63 2 3
7246 Im sorry to say this but we're gutting this company. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7247 All those in favor say 'Aarrgghh!' 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
7248 I'd say that there' s too much suck up and not enough smash down in this organization. 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
7249 Safety vests be damned. We are not apologizing for our skin color! 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
7250 We're on track to have these off our heads by Q4! 1.1176 0.04927 68 62 4 2
7251 C'mon! Halloween is in two weeks, so we've got to get this figured out now! 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7252 I'm sorry to say that the company will be totally rotten by Nov 1st 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7253 'And last on the roster, is Jack O'Lantern the 10th here?' 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
7254 The great news is that Starbucks accepted our offer. The bad news… 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
7255 So, gentlemen, what type of pie should we have for lunch? 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7256 No, this year they are telling carvers to start by cutting out the bottoms, not the tops. 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
7257 I'm happy to tell you that we will also be getting the colors Blue and Green next week. 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
7258 With Bakers Square and Marie Callender vying to take us over, we'll all be rich.... If we can just survive this Holiday season. 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
7259 Is everyone wearing their banana? 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
7260 we are now trying to develop candy corn that doesn't get old after eating three pieces 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
7261 Okay. Which one of you Jack’s want to go first? 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7262 Due to the effect inflation is having on our company budget, we will not be having a Halloween party this year. 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
7263 Welcome to the October “gourd”meeting. We’ll start by reviewing the minutes from last month. 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
7264 Now gentlemen, here is some spooky stuff… 1.1176 0.04927 68 62 4 2
7265 Well, dealine's approaching. Time to light a fire under you... 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
7266 Well folks, I've got some bad news about our old pal Smashy the Pumpkin. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
7267 Well Gentlemen, I'm afraid the rumors are true: these savages ARE trying to extend so-called "pumpkin spice season" into December 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
7268 The horror, the horror...the Astros are in the World Series! 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
7269 Finally... Q4. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
7270 It's come to my attention that all of our heads are pumpkins 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
7271 This is how we will be conducting our secret ballot from here on. 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
7272 How many times have I told you…no lit candles in the Boardroom! 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
7273 Ok, first things first: the new wife and I met up with a couple from Craigslist, and, well, good thing the kids were at grandma's all weekend. I created a Slack channel called "Chief Sexecutive Officer", I'll upload the photos there. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
7274 Yes, Jack, it is a bit of a revenge thing. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
7275 Who says directors don’t know a good time? 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
7276 Look on the upside. At least the customer satisfaction survey doesn't have blockheads as one of the options to describe the board. 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
7277 Now, does anyone have a piercing question ?" David Chan, Brookline, MA 1.1167 0.05363 60 55 3 2
7278 Who said we're incapable of getting into the Halloween spirit! 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
7279 When you meet with the customers turn your pumpkins upside down. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
7280 there has been some concern that a white pumpkin has infiltrated our company 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
7281 Phase II will also make use of the Monkey’s Paw, and more input from Legal about phrasing. 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
7282 Don’t worry team, Mariah Carey has been escorted out of the building.” @mariahcare 1.1167 0.05363 60 55 3 2
7283 I can't believe we all wore the same costume. 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
7284 Guys, I think we need to renegotiate our contract with Starbucks to 10% more this fall 🍂 “ 🎃 #pumpkinlatte #pumpkinflavor #starbuck 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
7285 So it looks like we will have to increase our pumpkin seed budget next year, team after Jacks melting mishap. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
7286 I’m pleased to report sales are up nearly 10,000% compared to September and #DIV/0 compared to the first eight months of the year 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
7287 We're thinking you're not really in sync with the sentiments of the rest of the board. 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
7288 I can tell you’ve seen the first quarter earnings report, but on the upside, my seven-figure bonus is guaranteed. 1.1159 0.04858 69 63 4 2
7289 So we're agreed: the target is 8% less shriveling, year-over-year. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
7290 OK GUYS.. SO HOW DO WE DITCH THE G.O.P. ORANGE BIT ? 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
7291 Meeting adjourned. Let's give them pumpkin to talk about! 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
7292 everyone is fired. 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
7293 Did anyone ever hear of a band, 'Smashing Pumpkins? I really like the sound of smashing pumpkins, do you 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
7294 I know you were expecting Mr Walker but he's tied up trying to forget several checks he has written ....but he says to tell you he loves pumpkin pie! 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
7295 due to Covid protocols, we’ll be providing complimentary bleach sprays in every conference room. 1.1159 0.04858 69 63 4 2
7296 So, the pumpkin spice campaigns have reached record profits. It is time for our next big thing. Who has something for me? Now, before you say anything please do not suggest we begin the campaign earlier next year. We have seen the numbers and August is as far as we can push it. We need to come up with something fresh. 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
7297 Like I said, there's no substitute for face to face time. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
7298 I hope everyone enjoys our Halloween party this year instead of our normal Christmas bonus 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
7299 Well, it looks like requiring a hashtag did nothing to eliminate spam comments on our Instagram posts 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
7300 Now that our heads aren't filled with meaty orange flesh, sticky pulp, lots of seeds, and handfuls of stringy stuff, I believe we can move on with our meeting. 1.1154 0.04463 78 71 5 2
7301 I’d like to remind our new members that my name is Gourd On not Gordon. 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
7302 Good news! We’ve just signed Smashing Pumpkins to open our next corporate event!” 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
7303 Now I know that this might be a little painful, but I'm telling you, if you want to sell more products, you'll want to take a knife and carve yourself a smile, just like I did. 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
7304 What choice do we have? We have to back Donald Pump. The 2020 election was fixed. We are vegetables, not fruits. 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
7305 Our suburban stores have openings for a dozen elves this holiday season. 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
7306 The market analyst has suggested that we acquire Mom's Fine Pies. 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
7307 We are still auditioning for this year's production of "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow." I will let you guess which role is still open. 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
7308 We need one of you to play the Headless Horseman in the company play. 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
7309 Alright team. It’s go time. 5 minutes until the clock strikes midnight and we can finally turn back into executives again. 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
7310 I'm afraid after the Holiday, we're going to have to let some of you go" 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
7311 Looking at the trends for October, I believe our sales will peak in January!! 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
7312 Introducing our new, aromatherapy “wellness” model! 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
7313 I’m sorry, but when your heads start feeling mushy… 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
7314 Glad I'm not the only one who heard this was a Gourd Meeting? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
7315 Since I recommended the dress code, I call this meeting to order. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
7316 I would like to rebrand our "Pumpkin Look" into a more friendly presentation. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
7317 Well, this year it seems like we’ve on to another trick or trick year. No treats once again. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
7318 Gentlemen, I expect more from you than empty-headed thinking. It’s like the light has gone out in all of you! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
7319 Pumpkin spice mania is still on so let's cash in while we can and keep on wearing these pumpkin heads. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
7320 WE CAN'T LOOSE ARE HEADS FOR THE SAKE OF A PIE! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
7321 Okay guys, we need to spice up our ideas for the Halloween ad campaign. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
7322 I thought that would make your eyes light up! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
7323 It looks like the next fiscal year is going to be smashing. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
7324 We can keep our jobs but we will now be known as Muskmelons 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
7325 Our new plastic surgery discounts will allow you to have a face just like mine. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
7326 You just think to be like ME, but you have just a pumpkin as your head!…. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
7327 Hurry up and get out there, as you know Christmas gets at us earlier and earlier every year 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
7328 I know it stinks, but it helps establish a morelevel playing field. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
7329 And to reward your performance,there's pie. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
7330 12 Angry gourds 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
7331 Yeah, well the Jerk-o-lantern store called...they're running out of you! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
7332 So what are we going to do about these fake Spirit costume memes? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
7333 Chair Jack’O Lantern vs. his Gourd of Directors. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
7334 I don’t mean to spill my guts, but it is that time of year where it feels like my insides are scooped out of me. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
7335 So it's agree 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
7336 Obviously I am from a more optimistic pumpkin patch 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
7337 And when I asked her why, she just said he had butternut. BUTTERNUT. Not a gourd situation. Anyways, how do we get these pumpkins off? 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
7338 I told you the Halloween aesthetic influencers would pay off; I win the pool. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
7339 I am pleased to announce that a new face to this company is being carved out. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
7340 Next year, please work on your resting pumpkin face. 1.1143 0.05205 70 65 2 3
7341 I’m sure some of you have heard the news from Marketing, but the Pumpkin King is dead. 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
7342 Anyone? I’m carved out of ideas 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
7343 Whoever wins the costume contest this year gets tickets to Smashing Pumpkins” 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
7344 Look, I told you this would happen if we all showed up late to the board meeting. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
7345 We clearly know best on laws for our zuchinnis. 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
7346 Who wants pie for lunch today? - Lauren Keyson New York, NY 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
7347 Will the real Jack-o'-lantern please stand up? 1.1139 0.04408 79 72 5 2
7348 I thought today was rutabaga day 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
7349 I'm your new OCL, your Orange Captain for Life. 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
7350 The reason i made you wear frowning jack o' lanterns and mine is smiling will be evident in the invisible man bonuses you are getting 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
7351 Well, weeners, it time that we show our solidarity that tricks is the only way to vote. 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
7352 Looks like you just lost your stem-carrying membership in this patch, Peter. 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
7353 Trick or treat -- We're getting closer to announcing for 2024 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
7354 It’s time to hollow out some departments. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7355 And no one ever heard from Ichabod again; and, nor my great-uncle, the titular "head" of this story, who lay in several pieces at the base of the bridge. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7356 I can't wait until we have our next meeting just before Christmas! 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
7357 CEO wants heads to roll for this 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7358 Now that Halloween is over, we can finally get into the scary part - decomposition. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7359 I believe you can help me carve out a solution. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7360 Why must we all look like Trump? 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
7361 All in favor of booting the empty shell of a man, say ay! 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
7362 OH FUGGGG A ENDERMAN :DDDDD 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7363 Management will be thrilled to see you all taking to the Q4 'go big or gourd home' mentality. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7364 Gentlemen, turn your heads around. You’re getting a raise. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
7365 Let’s try not to get smashed at the holiday party this year. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7366 Next on the agenda... to boost morale, every employee is to be sent to the carving department. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7367 Sorry, fellas. Due to supply chain delays, all department heads will be transferred into the spiced latte division. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7368 I'm not a Botanist, John, so no, I can't define the meaning of the word,, 'Jack-O-Lantern." 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7369 Let’s take a moment to mourn the passing of our founder Mr Jack O’Lantern. We’ll forever remember how his face lit up the room. 1.1129 0.05196 62 57 3 2
7370 I think it's about time we reclaimed the color orange, don't you? 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
7371 Hallow pumpkin heads 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7372 Roasted pumpkin seeds! We’re going to ensure it’s not just on Halloween anymore. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7373 Some of you will be downsized and then carved. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7374 Folks, wear your masks to the office for Halloween." Everyone: "We already do that everyday. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
7375 If profits don’t pick up, pumpkin heads are gonna roll! 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7376 Its obvious people we need to celebrate Halloween all year long. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7377 . "I'd like to thank the Board for carving out some time..." 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
7378 Alright, Pumpkin Heads. Let’s devise this trick, so Consumers can spend their money and think it’s actually a treat. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7379 So, does anyone have any original ideas for this year’s Pumpkin Spice season? 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7380 And then the following week are midterm elections! 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
7381 Sorry, guys, I thought this would be a morale booster. I didn't really think about how we'd get them off once Halloween was over. 1.1129 0.05196 62 57 3 2
7382 Let's all register to vote. 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
7383 When Peter returns from the restroom we can be 12 angry pumpkins again and vote on a verdict. 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
7384 To offset some recession related losses, this year we’re going with acorn squash. 1.1127 0.04726 71 65 4 2
7385 Ok guys, Who is orange enough for pulp democracy? 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
7386 Remember, Halloween is around the corner, don't lose your head. 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
7387 Smash! You are all fired 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
7388 Mandatory human carving contest this Saturday. Winning sales team gets a pizza party. 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
7389 Due to supply chain disruptions, our pumpkin spice reserves are dangerously low. So I'll need three volunteers today. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
7390 The worst of times are over. So carve those frowns upside down. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
7391 Gentlemen, we need a plan to squash our competition. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
7392 Then it's agreed. Whoever doesn't get carved up gets to carve the turkey. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
7393 As you see, I've carved out a place for diversity. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
7394 Where does the pumpkin in pumpkin lottes come from? 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
7395 Look at the bright side. The mold and bugs make you Jack-o'-Lanterns look extra scary for Halloween. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
7396 The bad news is that earnings are way down. The good news is that we'll all rot away long before the December shareholder meeting. 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
7397 All right gentlemen, let’s not lose our heads this year. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
7398 Before we adjourn for 'Great Pumpkin Day,' those who celebrate, must use a vacation day to take off for Christmas. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
7399 Sales are down. Lets carve out a new marketing strategy - less spooky, more spicy. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
7400 Good news is the Spice Latte is selling incredibly. Bad news is we need to keep downsizing. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
7401 The situation is urgent and I need the help of every man Jack! 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
7402 For goodness sake Randall, your candle is showing. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
7403 The annual meeting of Vegetarian Association of America will now come to order. As usual, our first order of business will be: How do we expand our diversity? 1.1111 0.05116 63 58 3 2
7404 Hit the road, Jack. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
7405 Okay, let come to order now. Let's call the roll. Peter, Gourdon, Jack... 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
7406 Santa's reindeer? Humbug. At the height of rush hour on the 31st, you will board a fleet of tricked-out flying scooters and take to the skies. Oh, uh... I'm told the parachutes should be arriving in time. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
7407 This still isn’t as scary as our year-end figures.” 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
7408 And after October 31st, you'll all have your heads smashed-in. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
7409 Fellow pumpkineers. We must decide; do we get bigger for greater pie production. or produce more seeds for snacks? 1.1111 0.04662 72 66 4 2
7410 Now that you're carved and have your heads on straight, let's get down to business. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
7411 Which one of you guys rotted on the job? 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
7412 Why is everyone looking so sad? I didn't say I was making pumpkin pies out of you...I said mincemeat. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
7413 As the new owner I am happy to inform you that you are fired 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
7414 For obvious reasons, we didn’t include Mr. Potatohead in this meeting. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
7415 On a last note, Corgan confirmed his lunch date with the board 1.1111 0.05116 63 58 3 2
7416 Alright, that's it, which one of you is Jamie Gavin? 1.1111 0.05116 63 58 3 2
7417 You'll be happy to know that I have submitted all of your names in the "convert your jack-o-lantern to a pie" contest. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
7418 The test results of our new Presidential Line of foundation make-up have been so successful we're planning to release it in the fall of 2024! 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
7419 The bad news is your heads will all be disgusting in a couple weeks. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
7420 OK. Now what do e do for the 4th of July? 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
7421 This year, everyone gets unlimited candy corn for your Christmas bonus. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
7422 As board chairman of Pumpkinhead Inc., I'm happy to announce we're in the black and best time of the yrar. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
7423 unfortunately some of you will be put under probation with likeliness of being turned into a pie at the end of the quarter 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
7424 Sadly there is no budget for Halloween bonuses this year, but let’s all look forward to Christmas 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
7425 This Halloween we’re gonna be more conscious about pumpkin waste” 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
7426 It’s time we get rid of the empty faces 🎃 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
7427 Why am I the only one smiling about this gourd meeting? 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
7428 HR is going to have our heads on a platter for failing to diversify the seasonal celebrations with more representations of rutebagas and acorn squash. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
7429 Jack was promoted to head his division as his face instilled confidence amongst his fellow gourds 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
7430 Great news everyone, our quarterly results have never looked spookier! 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
7431 The bad news is that heads will roll. The good news is that Halloween sales will increase. 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
7432 You are all going to part of a famous American alternative rock band from Chicago, can you guess its name? 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
7433 Listen,I know most of us think we’re a jack-o-lantern of all trades… 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
7434 But the good news is that diversity is big right now 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
7435 Ok, Jack, why don’t you start us off. 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
7436 Don't worry, dear colleagues. The surveys show it plainly, as clear as day: this new Butternut Squash Spice thing will NEVER take off. 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
7437 We need to talk about your PSL reports. 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
7438 The good news is that we,ve made a terrific deal to fill you full of cows 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
7439 I’m afraid I have bad news gentlemen. ‘ Halloween Ends ‘ tanked at the box office. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
7440 Clearly, we’ve been through a bit of a rough patch . . . 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
7441 I apologize for last night. I may have made some seedy remarks, but in my defense, I was completely outta my gourd! 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
7442 The workers have invited all of us executives to their potluck. They're serving some kind of soup! 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
7443 Welcome to the first meeting of the diversity committee 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
7444 We’ll be hiring some hot heads of lettuce sometime real soon. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
7445 It’s time to put our heads together and come up with a solution. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
7446 The doctor found some malignant mold spots and I don't have long...so, we need to elect a new pumpkin head. I mean head pumpkin. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
7447 Hate to roll some heads here but that pumpkin muffin recipe we posted had about 1.5 million thumbs down. So who wants to take one for the farm board? 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
7448 The fiscal outlook for November is looking grim. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
7449 Now, you may be wondering why I've called all you country bumpkins here today. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
7450 I want to know which one of you has been saying my face was badly carved. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
7451 And about that smashing idea of yours, Carl. - You're fired. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
7452 I'm here to announce Gourd-tex, finally we can withstand the elements of fall. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
7453 Costume meeting seems like a good option now, right? 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
7454 The news is not good. Our latest intel shows that people no longer give jack. 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
7455 Pie and coffee anyone 1.1091 0.05609 55 51 2 2
7456 No Jenkins, as the employee manual clearly states, "in lieu of a bonus, employee may choose one trick or one treat." 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
7457 I’m pleased to report that our major competitor, Headless Horseman inc.,is no more. 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
7458 Cheer up, boys and girls, your expressions are so post-covid. 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
7459 Today, for our lunch break, we are going to acorn squash! 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
7460 Without further objection,I nominate Jack-O as our representative to the Halloween convention. 1.1091 0.05609 55 51 2 2
7461 They needed 12 for a quorum but no one carved out a space for Morty 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
7462 'If anybody suggests that my diet of 'specialum militarium pumpkinium' has any side effects, they should go to jail for 15 years for spreading fake rumours'. 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
7463 I have to convince all these pumpkin heads on the new plan. 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
7464 This year’s annual party will feature my favorite band Smashing Pumpkins. 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
7465 Ok , another year gone . So let’s put it to the same vote . Do we go for having our faces carved, or candles in our head , or both 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
7466 Expect a downturn next month, and for ten months after that. 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
7467 Our competition gourd our revenues last month, but with recent cuts, we will squash them in November. 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
7468 Let me just kick things off by saying I know jack about diversity. 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
7469 Annual gourd meeting 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
7470 We've managed to carve out a place in the market. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7471 I'm announcing that next week we'll have a "bobble head" of me introduced,so get over your grumpy outlook! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7472 Sooooo, now that we all have our identities, let’s proceed with choosing a brand name , then a number for each person starting with the number 2 in consecutive order , and then we can continue with t shirt color , slogan, etc , etc, etc. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7473 This years theme will be engaging families aka “pump-kin” up 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
7474 PSL shampoo was a big hit for us last quarter. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
7475 Listen up, we have to make more seeds. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
7476 The next item on our agenda is: pumpkin spice year-round. 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
7477 I’m sick and tired of being carved up every year. We need a new strategy. 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
7478 Jack has gone to the big can in the sky. 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
7479 As chairman of the gourd, I call this meeting to order. 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
7480 Thank you so much for your attending this mandatory meeting today,which was not mandatory for pumpkin heads. We have a client who is desperate for your brains. The fair thing to do, is to draw names from a hat. Do you know any hat wearers? 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
7481 I have been asked to our party's candidate for President in 2024. 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
7482 Gentlemen, use the seeds in your heads...we've been Pumpkins for generations, and dammit, we're not going to sell out ourselves now as Gourds! 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
7483 If you expect to be viable midterm candidates you'll need to be a lot scarier. 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
7484 Get the diversity director in here now! 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
7485 Now to the dessert menu. Pies. Who wants pork pie? Who wants pumpkin? 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
7486 After this, let’s head down to the bar and get pumpkin smashed. 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
7487 Finally,please remember,despite the continuous slump in corporate earnings,we are the proud face of the company. May I get a motion to adjourn the October gourd meeting 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
7488 Ok, everybody dig out an idea. 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
7489 Gentlemen,I believe we have something of a diversity issue at our company. 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
7490 Just wait until you see what we'll jam our heads int 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
7491 What can you all bring different to the table for this season? 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
7492 Those employees who decided to make pumpkin helmets I requested yesterday with a slot in the shape of a smile are considered satisfied with our corporate culture and the internal psychological climate of our company. All you keep your jobs. And I have to fire all the others. 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
7493 Due to the recent economic inflation we have to make some cuts. Jack your fired 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
7494 Jack, you’re up. Impress me, or you’re getting Sleepy Hollow’d.” Knives come out at the annual gourd meeting 1.1077 0.04963 65 60 3 2
7495 Rich in vitamins, minerals and antioxidants, pumpkins are incredibly healthy! 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
7496 And, another thing, what the heck IS a "Jack o' Lantern"? 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7497 Nice try guys. The suits are cute, but you got the eyes upside down. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7498 Then I said, 'It's time you start treating me as more than a hole!' and walked away. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7499 I am happy to announce that to ensure diversity in our decisions on behalf of our shareholders Jack O. Lantern, Inc. will be adding an acorn squash head to the board. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7500 OK, guys, Lets get pumped. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7501 So,same time next year, Jack...? 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7502 Don't look so lant down 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7503 Exciting news everyone, Head Office is starting a pie brand in time for Thanksgiving! 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7504 For next month's meeting I think the dress code is particularly apropos-you'll be coming as turkeys. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7505 In the pursuit of diversity, next year you will all carve your own pumpkin head. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7506 You should have carved smiley face and you would be in my place 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7507 So who likes David S. Pumpkins as our new spokesman? 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7508 Alright! Jack, you can be the first one to present us your ideas, then Jack will present his, so Jack, Jack, and I can pick the best. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7509 Judging by your expressions, I’d say it’s been a ghoulish third quarter. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7510 To cut back on costs, we will be making our pumpkin pie charts in house this year 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
7511 Hit the road Jacks and don’t come back without a $100,000 Bar each! 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7512 Ok guys, no bad ideas in brainstorming, don’t squash others’ input 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7513 Guys, I’m gonna cut to the chase here: we only have one third of a quarter to boost trick and treats transactions. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7514 Ye gone. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7515 I have a revolutionary idea for all the seeds. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
7516 Time to replace the Chief. He's developing squash rot. 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
7517 This is vampire season, know your friends, Jacks. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7518 Let’s not lose our heads totally. When they stick us on the porch, insist they use our brains for soup 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7519 I don't know where we went wrong; I guess we just thought we had the election sewed up! 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7520 I’m just saying, Megan Thee Stallion did it and got on SNL. So maybe it’ll work for us. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7521 The looks on your faces tell me that you're not happy with the October 31st project deadline. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7522 What is our Christmas plan? 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
7523 Yes,I agree. but only a few of us have candles 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7524 Pumpkinhead, you will be in charge of our diversity initiative! 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
7525 Turn those frowns upside down. It's halloween season now! 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7526 OK, first up is Secretary of the Interior. Who wants to start the bidding?" 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7527 We've got a month to make a killing and Big Sugar is expecting bigger things from us! 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
7528 We're here to discuss which of you will be demoted to the extreme carving department. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7529 With the end of October approaching, its high time the O’Lantern clan began planning for St. Patrick’s Day. 1.1061 0.04890 66 61 3 2
7530 You're probably wondering why I asked for this meeting. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7531 A shareholder has filed a lawsuit accusing the board of being a bunch of pumpkin heads. 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
7532 On advice from my wife, scented candles are now mandatory. 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
7533 This meeting is an intervention; Jack has gone teel….what are we going to do about this? 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
7534 When Halloween falls on a Monday but you still have meetings to go to. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7535 There are no substitutes for hard work! 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
7536 - " So, as you know, I am your new pumpkin-head of office.." 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7537 Next year we draw ballots for choice of costume. 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
7538 Let’s start things off with an icebreaker 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7539 I thought we had decided to be original this year 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7540 Our competitors couldn’t hold a candle to the figures we are carving out 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7541 Bylaws recite 12 members must be present to conduct business. By the way we should vote that no more than 6 should be male 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7542 Business is always slow in November but I have an idea how we can diversify our brand. How do we feel about being in pies? 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7543 Now that holiday shopping starts before Thanksgiving, can we move pumpkin spice back to before Labor Day? 1.1053 0.05418 57 53 2 2
7544 Please leave your seeds on the way out . 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7545 Gentlemen. Marketing says we must diversify. Too many grey suits! 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
7546 I look around here and see my overgrown successor. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7547 Bad news guys. Pumpkin is the new peanut, allergy that id 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7548 It's time for some heads to roll, so turn those frowns upside down. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7549 I'm pleased to say we've managed to carve out some good results this quarter. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7550 Pumpkin talking heads finally united 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7551 I’m pleased to announce that we’re bringing in Jamie Lee Curtis as our new brand ambassador. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7552 Here we are once again. Trick?…or Treat? 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7553 I know it’s not Halloween yet, but let’s talk about Christmas. 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
7554 Let’s put our seeds together and make a decision”. “With all this seed power we should be able to come up with a solution 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
7555 You guys don't know jack about budget cuts, it's just hollow talk. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
7556 There’s been a new development. Something called “the hand mixer trick.” 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
7557 We need to be more diverse. Let's say carved pumpkin instead of Jack-o-lantern. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
7558 First of all, I would like to thank our HR Team for their initiative on being a more inclusive board... 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
7559 This time you’ll need to put your heads together to make those pie charts really sparkle! 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7560 I know I was supposed to carve out a bonus plan, but this was more fun. 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
7561 'Heads are gonna roll, gentlemen, heads will roll." 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
7562 Another day in the gourdroom... 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
7563 Anyone wants us to see their “Hello, Weenie”? 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
7564 hwo blew out the candles 1.1045 0.04819 67 62 3 2
7565 OK. Now put your candy in a paper bag, spin it over your head, and cackle like a chicken. 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
7566 As you know, we're coming up to our busiest time of year... 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
7567 Ya all know why we're so damn successful, we're all kin to one another" 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
7568 I am happy to report that We solved our excess pumpkin inventory problem 1.1045 0.04819 67 62 3 2
7569 Read the room, Bob. There’s a reason no one else carved themselves a happy face this year.” - Pumpkin employe 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
7570 We'll squash the competition after we gourd them into hiring peppers. 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
7571 ...So we hope our improved benefits package will help each of you resist the lure of the headhunters we always hear from this time of year. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7572 It's great to reunite the Trump Cabinet. Now tell me how much you love The Great Pumpkin. 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
7573 Ten more days 'til Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving, ten more days 'til...No, you're right. It's not the same when you do it in November. 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
7574 My name is Elon Musk, and I just bought Twitter. 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
7575 If you want to be a bigger slice of the pie, you’ll have to carve out a bigger niche. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7576 Ok,so who are we carving next? 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7577 So the issue is, what to do about the squirrels. They chew us up like we should be in a pie. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
7578 No, there will be no John O' Lantern again this year. 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
7579 Relax, we're only asking for your firstborn. Think how the turkeys feel. We kill them all this time of year. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
7580 Fellow department Heads, I must admit I'll go out of my gourd if I get one more complaint about our lack of diversity." 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7581 That's right I propose we increase our profits by genetically modifying our seeds so they can't reproduce. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7582 The Amber Heard, Johnny Depp jurrors reach a verdict. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7583 Gentkeman : corporate raider tricks requires pumpkin heads willing to make 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
7584 Hey! We need happy faces to boost our stock price. If you can’t put on a smile, you’ll go in the pie! 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
7585 I'm high out of my fucking gourd. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7586 Remember folks, we've canned the use of pie charts in presentations. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
7587 Oh come on guys, lighten up. Just think of all the bad karma you're about to burn up. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7588 I'm happy to announce our efforts to add diversity to our Board of Directors this year. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7589 The drought really killed us this year. In order to meet customer demand for Halloween, heads will have to roll. Literally. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
7590 It was a pun. Lighten up, gang. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7591 When having a lightbulb idea going off in your culture is equivalent to catching on fire 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
7592 So much for Mr. Potatoe Head 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
7593 Season's almost over; let's go feed ourselves to the birds! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7594 Carve that frown upside down, Dave. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7595 Ceo: This year, will be officially be called, "the suit-o-lanter" board members: unfortunately sir that name is already taken 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7596 Hey pumpkin head? 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
7597 Sadly,Mortie has left the board of directors,but on a positive note,be sure & check out the dessert specials in the executive dining room. 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
7598 Smashing Pumpkins, LLC it is then 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
7599 Who's the pumpkin-in-chief? 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
7600 It seems to be that our progress is rotting away 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
7601 No Slack-o'-lantern will be tolerated, certainly not this time of year. 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
7602 Well, everyone, twit...or tweet? 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
7603 Please be patient. I 'll be starting the meeting just as soon as the turkey arrives. 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
7604 This is the new way for our creative confidence! 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
7605 Our proliferation of spice has finally met its inflection point… 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
7606 Another all-male board 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
7607 I’m happy to announce that Jack will be leaving the company 1.1020 0.05253 49 45 3 1
7608 1,2,3,4…looks like we’re a Jack off 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7609 Let me squash the rumor that there will be bonuses this year. 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7610 I’m sorry Jack, corporate decided to go a different route this year and we have to let you go. 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7611 Thankfully, we have no policy against pumpkin spiced nepotism. 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7612 That film franchise can't keep up with us. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7613 Remember when I told you, we have employee stocks? Well, it's vegetable stock, and we're gonna need more of it. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
7614 So I looked at this headhunter and asked how they hype themselves up for the next round of hiring. She looks me in the eyes and says, 'Smashing Pumpkins.' 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7615 The jacking up of inflation is really scaring off our candy investors this year. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7616 Our growth is severely limited because every October they carve us up with these silly faces . . . and then there's pumpkin spice. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
7617 Aw, c'mon guys. The trick-or-treating forecast isn't that bad! 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7618 So now that we have arms, lets see how *they* like it when we stuff candles in 'em 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
7619 Ok, I'm thinking, "Pumpkin Spiced Pumpkin!" 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7620 Welcome to Twitter’s new board of directors. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
7621 I am smiling because we bought no candy and doused the lights, yet Mrs. Pump gave out treats all night long! 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7622 Everyone know that you must have an odd number of talking pumpkin heads in order to avoid a tie !!! 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7623 October numbers were great, but I’ve got some bad news for the balance of the year. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
7624 At the end of the month,you're all fired 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7625 The headless boardmen discuss proposals for the disposition of Ichabod Crane 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7626 I hate to deliver the bad news, but they've decided to make us all into pumpkin stew. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
7627 It is once again time to brainstorm how to extend our sales beyond one month a year. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7628 I have to be upfront: if we don't make this quarter's profit goals, some heads are gonna roll... 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7629 Lately I've been dressing for revenge 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
7630 Why orange you happy to be here today? 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
7631 What's with all the sad faces? You look like you've seen a ghost. 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
7632 I'm the head of this job now, gentlemen. 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
7633 No, Smithers, I do not think corporate dehumanization is anything we need worry about. 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
7634 I’m here to pump you up. 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
7635 I think we 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
7636 We must expand our visibility in the field. 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
7637 gentlemen let's get to the business... 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
7638 To close the meeting we are going to have pumpkin pie" 🥧 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
7639 Meeting of the Pumpkin-Headed Carving Committee: Agenda item 1: Dangers of Gnats, Rats and Cats. 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
7640 But inflation’s on our side, guys! 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
7641 they certainly have scraped out all the stuffing and the gourd ideas along with it. 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
7642 That proposal is scary. 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
7643 I'm sure we can patch things up with our investors. 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
7644 I have good news this year. Due to rising inflation sales of pumpkin pies are projected to drop by at least 5 percent in 2022. 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
7645 The deal on the table regarding Pie is non-negotiable. 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
7646 Well Staff, it's time to put up Christmas decorations. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
7647 And the promotion goes to Gourdon, who’s Squashing the market. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7648 Bad news, team - all of your heads have turned into giant pumpkins. 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
7649 To illustrate our restructuring plans, please turn your attention to the pie-chart. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
7650 I agree, Jack O—it makes the utmost sense that all band-aids from Pumpkin and Pumpkin Corporation continue to be pumpkin colored. Are all you Jack O’s on board with that? 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7651 Just a bunch of pumpkin faces today, huh?" Olivia Xu, New York City, N.Y 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7652 Mass layoffs mean that this is gearing up to be our scariest quarter yet 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
7653 Let’s not lose our heads over this. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
7654 Let us rejoice in the marketing of google-eyes stickers. 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
7655 I don’t care if it is Halloween, we can no longer squash the lack of diversity in this organization." 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7656 Yes, but we all still look alike 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
7657 Halloween's over! I'm giving you all three weeks off- when I'll expect each one to offer the best of his inner self to the cause! 1.1000 0.04210 80 74 4 2
7658 I have some goods news and bad news. The good news is your not going to be laid off. The bad news is your going to be made into pumpkin pies 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
7659 C'mon guys,you know me. Some of my best friends are pumpkins. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
7660 Be honest. What about, "Hit the Road Jack" 1.1000 0.04618 70 65 3 2
7661 End of October sales are soft, but the seeds of carving out a small profit are doable, with sacrifice on your part. 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
7662 Just keep telling them it’s inflation! 1.1000 0.05151 50 46 3 1
7663 Actually, there is no head at this table. 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
7664 does anyone else have something they’d like to tweet? 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
7665 The merger with spice will commence immediately 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7666 I thought I’d made it clear. Only I get to be Dwight Schrute. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
7667 If I could go off topic for a moment, I just want to say that I'm impressed by the unity and solidarity I see in our team. I mean, you'd have to be blind to not see how united we are. 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
7668 Ok, let’s carve out some time next week to review the Q4 projections… 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
7669 We’re going to have to make some cuts. Allow me to carve out the plan for you all. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
7670 Halloween has been officially changed to the last Saturday in October. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
7671 We need a plan to address pumpkinflation 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7672 If our current trend holds, December should be a record month. 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
7673 The ignis fatuus of a world without pumpkin spice. 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
7674 The pie chart shows we need to make some cuts. 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
7675 Well I think we can all relax! I spoke to Billy Corgan’s people and they have agreed NOT to name the band ‘Kicking Pumpkins’ after all. Great work team! 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
7676 Eat This, Mr Potato-Head 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
7677 But if this idea of a whole "pumpkin spice" season catches on, then we're in business. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7678 Did anyone bring the spice? 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7679 You have selected for this season’s Vegetable Apprentice, because, like me, you are orange on the outside with nothing in the inside. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7680 I’ve been here long enough to remember kitchen knives were the only carving tool and toilet paper was the only decoration. 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
7681 I agree, Jack. We need more than a month. Let’s start Thanks-O-Giving, and carve out a place in Thanksgiving. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7682 I'm afraid we'll be carving out some staff to raise profit 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7683 I just got a DM asking to smash. 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
7684 The final vote to name our new construction company "Ichabod's Crane" is 8 ayes and 2 nays. The motion passes 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
7685 So it's agreed--we'll squash that idea. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7686 Ii is heartwarming to see some light in your eyes... 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7687 You are all too young to remember what was once called "the IBM look". Well.... 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
7688 Guess which one of us won't get stomped this season. 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
7689 I'm happy to announce that I've determined a way for our company to alleviate the recent pumpkin shortage. 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
7690 Yes, I’m afraid there’s more carve outs coming. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7691 Good news. Peter Peter has been apprehended. Bad news. You're all fired. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7692 No, we can’t start spice season in July…. so unless anyone else has any bright ideas, we can kiss bonuses goodbye next fiscal. 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
7693 . "You're FIRED !" 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7694 Resting Pumpkin Face 🎃 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
7695 Get the pumpkin out of your ears and listen. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7696 Now that we’ve carved that out, let’s discuss budget cuts! 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
7697 We need to start making pumpkin spiced lattes a year-round thing so hit the road, Jacks! 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7698 We have serious competition with the Democrats. 1.0980 0.05053 51 47 3 1
7699 New product line: Pumpkin spice . . . 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
7700 We suffer from decades of negative stereotyping. It wouldn't hurt us to smile once in a while. 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
7701 Your positions are clearly carved out, but my outlook remains positive. 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
7702 Wait, where’s Van Brunt? 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
7703 Take my body, that it be your bread. 1.0980 0.05053 51 47 3 1
7704 Our new i-Lantern app has taken the country by storm! We will be getting jack-O'd no more! 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
7705 Peter, Peter PumpkinEater 🥳 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
7706 Look at that subtle colouring. The tasteful thickness. Oh, my God. It even has a watermark. 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
7707 Bleh! Pumpkin spice?! See, Gourdon, this is what happens when we send the zucchini intern out on a coffee run. 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
7708 Phase One accomplished. Now to eliminate the spice faction. 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
7709 Well, it looks like profits are down again this quarter, so .... we're going to have to bake some pie. 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
7710 Heads need to roll....so brace yourselves. 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
7711 Look - bottom line - our heads are not full of a gooey, slimy mess like our competitors. The difference between us and the other pumpkin heads out there, is we are lit within. 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
7712 We need something to spice up our new campaign. 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
7713 So, gentlemen, do you think the Company might have an identity crisis?” Maureen Mancini, Haddonfield, N.J 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
7714 Well,the situation is straightforward. One of you is the mole. There are ten squirrels beyond that door, and only I am wearing ‘Squirrel-B-Gone’. The guilty one owns up, or you all die horribly. Sorry, this is business. 1.0972 0.04493 72 67 3 2
7715 Let's go over this week's gourd meeting agenda 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
7716 Look, I know we’re all partial to the name Jack, however…. 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
7717 I like to welcome you all to the annual meeting of the Peter Pumpkin Heads 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
7718 Happy hour o’clock. Let’s get smashed 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
7719 We’ve officially updated the company’s jingle to “All I want for Christmas is You” 1.0972 0.04493 72 67 3 2
7720 “Business has been so good, that, next season, we’ll be diversifying into squash, and other gourds.” 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
7721 It's time for us to carve out our Halloween retreat. 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
7722 Unfortunately,they squashed the budget #mynewyorkercartoon 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
7723 We have to capture more of the off-season market 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
7724 The good news is that pumpkin-spiced coffee sales are at an all-time high. The bad news is we have to cut our head-count after October 31st. 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
7725 We don't want to spook our investors." 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
7726 Once that light goes out of your eyes, you're through. 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
7727 As majority shareholder, I've decided to remain as CEO and Chairman of the Board until 2026. 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
7728 Goals: Let’s turn those frowns upside down! 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
7729 After getting smashed at last night's event, Connor has been let go. 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
7730 He's off his gourd if he thinks this Initial Pumpkin Offering will squash our competition. 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
7731 Let’s start thinking out of the box, er I mean out of the pumpkin. 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
7732 Gentlemen! I need more fruitful suggestions. 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
7733 Sadly, your overall performance has been markedly down since the beginning of October. 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
7734 We’re having trouble getting new recruits for the headless horseman job in Eastern Division, so I planted seeds with Corporate that this team may be able to pick up the slack. 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
7735 The report said we are all spiced. Is that a trick or treat? 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
7736 So, what's the headcount right now? 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
7737 No holiday party this year due to impending economic challenges 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
7738 ‘Good news: we had a great month. Bad news: you’re all fired.’ 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
7739 If we don’t hit our numbers next month, gourds are gonna roll 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
7740 The Happy pie co. Board of Directors meeting got tense when it was noted that "Heads will Roll!!" If the Pumpkin pie quota wasn't met!!! 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
7741 Agreed. All future submissions for the "idea" of the week will come only from the C-suite. 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7742 Are any of you gentlemen familiar with a “Blumpkin”? 1.0962 0.05668 52 49 1 2
7743 And the great pumpkin award goes to... ME! 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7744 One of us is stemless! 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7745 Spicy coconut pumpkin soup is in order 1.0962 0.04958 52 48 3 1
7746 Are we on the same page now? 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7747 Others have called me a real-life Gourdon Gecko. 1.0962 0.04958 52 48 3 1
7748 I’m glad you all could carve out the time to be here 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7749 . “ Let’s squash the competition!” 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7750 On this weeks episode of Succession. 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7751 It has come to my attention that your work has all been a bit patchy. We will be doing some lay offs this fall, Jack. 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7752 This board needs more diversity. Who wants to make pie? 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
7753 I’m carving out some time today so we can spice things up. 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
7754 The pie chart says we have too many managers. Today we decide which of you will shine, and which will be pie. 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7755 We could benefit from some diversity. 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7756 Let’s get a head! 1.0952 0.04361 63 58 4 1
7757 I could do without those silly smiles! 1.0952 0.04913 63 59 2 2
7758 So we agree that next month we will be doing squash and I have the frown! 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7759 Pie from something scary? What were we thinking? 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7760 I'm pleased to announce we've been acquired by peter peter pies. 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7761 Now, when Elon arrives, he'll know at a glance we're a fun group. 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7762 We've carved out a new company message. Heads may roll. 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7763 Smashing Pumpkin rock band is inviting you to join them in their reality American pie concert." Joan Moir, Tiburon, Calif 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7764 We want mush Bring forth the mush 1.0952 0.04361 63 58 4 1
7765 Pumpkin-spice rules the world! 1.0952 0.04361 63 58 4 1
7766 Elon walked in and said off with their heads 1.0952 0.04361 63 58 4 1
7767 Looking sharp boys. Marketing says this fits better with our key demographic 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7768 That’s a gutsy Q4 strategy, Jack. I didn’t think you had it in you! 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7769 Maybe Jones was right & letting the great pumpkin lick us was a bad idea. 1.0952 0.04361 63 58 4 1
7770 we need to find a way to extend our profits deeper into Q4 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7771 The skeleton crew we employed led to record profits and a sizable bonus to me! Now that it is November 1st, let’s talk layoffs. 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7772 the trick is to treat this like any other down year... so lets carve out some more smiles, yes? 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7773 Who wants to go to seed first? 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
7774 Guys, it was the chair 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
7775 As you know, the company is gearing up for its annual 'make a child smile' campaign. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
7776 I'm Jack O'Lantern and our first order of business today is the Jack-O-Lantern's Lives Matter campaign. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
7777 While the demise of pumpkin spice as toilet paper was disappointing, we are now introducing pumpkin spice whole house scenters! 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
7778 I'm not cutting heads in October 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
7779 So, we all agree that before our next board meeting, everyone will have smiles carved onto our faces. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
7780 Who’s ready to spearhead the carve out of parts of our group? 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
7781 I suggest we meet with the pie industry to discuss the yam threat. 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
7782 How do we spice up this meetin? 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
7783 Next up, Jack, with an update on the diversity initiative. Anybody buyin' that crap Jack? 1.0938 0.04295 64 59 4 1
7784 I expect everyone to go all in on your pie charts for this meeting 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
7785 Halloween will no longer be considered a company holiday. 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
7786 Pump-Kins...you're out of the will! 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
7787 I realize that things ahead might get a little scary 1.0938 0.04295 64 59 4 1
7788 Hallo! wee n'evr thought we will have to let so many of them grow. Just pump'in gas in the carves is terrifying customers enough. Inflation has thrown our numbers out o' range! And that Stingy Jack can only think of his profits!! Let's stay shining! 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
7789 Let’s squash them. 1.0938 0.04838 64 60 2 2
7790 We have our quorum of ten. One of you has to jump off the roof and make a sacrificial splat for the good of the company. 1.0938 0.04838 64 60 2 2
7791 Maybe if the pumpkin spice fad goes away, we won't feel so bad about not profiting from it. 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
7792 I hope you all look forward to our gourd meetings as much as I do 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
7793 Well, look who woke up on the right side of the pumpkin patch this morning. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
7794 Welcome everyone, it’s time for trick or treat again 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
7795 Don't look so down. . .the fourth quarter easy as pie. 1.0930 0.03558 86 79 6 1
7796 Gentleman, after careful consideration, I'm confident that rebranding to Ichabod Crane Corp will turn us around. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
7797 Long term, is this a smart deal? No. But nothing puts fiduciary duty in perspective like knowing I’m days away from my rotting head collapsing in on itself. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
7798 It'll be great! We won't get eaten and we won't rot for two weeks! 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
7799 Let's discuss the merits of a carve-out, before Liam loses his head. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7800 And so,in summary, I encourage each and every one of you to “think different!” 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7801 Pumpkin people having a meeting about the upcoming event in this years Halloween party at the office. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7802 What's with you guys. Don't you know that the required "Pumpkin Look" is a smile? 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7803 Let's wrap this meeting up quickly, I want to get down to the cafeteria before they run out of that pumpkin pie! 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7804 This year has been ruff on everybody So this year we are asking that everybody work extra hard or heads are going to roll.... 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7805 We're liquidating our assets, and only one of us is moving on to the next season. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7806 We need to carve off 10% extra this year. Not off me though. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7807 As far as this quarter goes, we’re ahead of the carve. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7808 Because of drought, pumpkin profits are down across the category-- we'll have to sell some of our internal inventory. 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
7809 The pumpkin spice campaign was a success. 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
7810 I know they think already think we're heartless, but do we need them to think we're headless too? 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
7811 Don't look so down. It's not like I got you yahrtzeit candles. 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
7812 So, this week we carved out some goals. Next week we’re gonna smash ‘em! 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
7813 Do I have a volunteer for the pie chart? 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
7814 Hurry up guys! I feel this year we meet the great pumpkin! 1.0923 0.04231 65 60 4 1
7815 The competition continues to steal market share every year. What are we going to do about Christmas? 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
7816 Social media has been busting us with faces now, this only seemed like a plausible option 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
7817 So no, holding a Smashing Pumpkins concert in our venue is not a good idea. 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
7818 We have been tasked with carving a new niche in the farm-to-table supply chain 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
7819 I'm forecasting that if pumpkin sales keep going up at the rate they have this October, we'll all be rich. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7820 Which one of you has a candle burning inside with a bright idea ? 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
7821 I asked you to wear costumes to express empathy toward the workers and to show that we believe in diversity. 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
7822 hey bub you know what i mean when i talk about onions right buddy? how do you feel about sensational carrots on a fiiiiiine sunday huh? huh? hey buddy thought i smelled failure. why is there so much butter in your hair? hah 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
7823 Boss - Some of you may get to see Michael for last time, I hope. In both cases. 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
7824 Now, who's going first to the pie bakery? 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
7825 Cheer up! I was just lucky to be named "Jack" 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7826 I know, guys. Halloween is just 2 days away and once again we'll be neglected. But look at the bright side we will all be pie at Thanksgiving dinner. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7827 Let's face it, without carving, who would we be? 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7828 Now the bad news for those of you with eyes carved pointing upwards. 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
7829 C'mon, fellas. It's barely a hint of a smile. All I'm saying is that we can change with the times while still staying true to ourselves. 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
7830 We're going to try for synergy again. I've cut a deal with a canning factory and a bakery, and they're both just up the road from here! 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7831 DEI says we must try harder. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
7832 Good morning everyone why do we all look sad today? 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
7833 I could get used to seeing the Trump administration in orange. 1.0909 0.05364 55 52 1 2
7834 April fools! They're pumpkin spice lattes! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7835 Who wants to be at the head of the table? 1.0909 0.06353 44 42 0 2
7836 Jack-O-Lantern & Bros. Inc. workers were tricked when the CEO announced annual Halloween treat bonuses would not rise in line with inflation 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
7837 Gentlemen, looking around it’s obvious most of you are unhappy with the direction I am taking the company.” 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
7838 Relax!, the eggheads over at Easter Corp. won't see a Halloween-Christmas merger coming. Eric Anderson, Oshawa, Ont. 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
7839 My wife is demanding that we change our Company name to 'Jane-O'-Lantern 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
7840 Sure, spice latte sales are putrid. But hey, I was carved this way. 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
7841 This is good news! I have to get them to carve you guys some smiles! 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
7842 Next on the agenda: vote for going in pie or bread. 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
7843 I'm afraid we've got to reduce some head count here, make pumpkin pie out of some of you. 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
7844 Remember gentlemen, no pumpkin pie charts.” 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
7845 Monday is with The Cabbage Patch Kids,Tuesday,The Potato Heads,Wednesday - Carrot Top! 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
7846 Don't worry about our diversity program, fellows. Even if there are only pumpkins in a basket, we know each one has a unique flavor. 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
7847 Don’t give me that look—there’s no judgment in brainstorming! 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
7848 Well team, I hope you have another idea for a viral TikTok trend because our numbers are getting squashed. 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
7849 OK, so who wants to be the new prime minister by Halloween 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
7850 Okay so halloween is almost here. Human sales are going up.” #ParallelUnivers 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
7851 Demand this year is down, so I'm going to have to let you all go. But look on the bright side - you could still make it into a soup. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
7852 Ok, now it’s time for a volunteer! It’s the annual pie contest! 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7853 Should we make pumpkin pie or pumpkin soup? 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7854 Upper corporate says we have to keep these on until Christmas bonus’s go out. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7855 Pumpkin Heads 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7856 Relax, gentlemen, it's not that kind of carve-out. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7857 No treats this year. Corporate carved out the budget. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
7858 Gentlemen, good morning. We have colorful news: our fall harvest is turning heads. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7859 Don’t let the seed investment get to your head. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7860 Unfortunately, most of you without executive fridges won't be around in a few weeks. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7861 Tweet or Treat, Elon thinks I am sweet! 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
7862 You’ll be glad to know that pumpkin spice lattes will NOT be served here. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7863 Gents, I’ve been informed that Ichabod Crane is suing us for causing him undue emotional distress. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7864 As I was saying, it is time to squash the rumor that we meet every problem with the same cookie cutter approach. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7865 The Board was not enthused by the CEO’s decision to outsource pie duties to the sweet potato department. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7866 I call to order the annual board meeting of O’Lantern, Inc. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
7867 ENOUGH IS ENOUGH" we have to find a way to ensure the survival of our race 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
7868 Guys, who carved your sad faces’, huh? 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
7869 now that we have these cool pumpkins on our heads, how can we better facilitate the use of opioids in white trash neighborhoods? 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
7870 The Jack O’’MANTERN and Dude Guy LLC & associates. Discuss the next steps of a boooohrimg season. Cuz, stonks are bondaged 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
7871 Andrew " Orange Pumpkinhead" Jackson signs the Yellow Pumpkinghead Removal Act, authorizing the Army to force all of the Yellow Pumpkinheads out of Georgia and surrounding states. 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
7872 I hate my face and of course yours too, make sure you wear this throughout your meeting. 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
7873 Welcome to the first meeting of the Pumpkin Corporation 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
7874 Hopefully those mischief-making teenagers don’t raid our board meeting again this Halloween season. 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
7875 Due to increase in supply cost, we are unable to reimburse for gas mileage this month 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
7876 This is so confusing with everyone here named Jack 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7877 Well I see you got the message 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7878 Yes, Jenkins, even if we do succeed, our heads will rot. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7879 It seems chocolate eggs claimed the spring holiday so we'll have to settle for the one in October. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7880 that's what I am pumpkin about. =) 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
7881 The subject of today's meeting is turning that frown upside-down. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7882 The word from corporate is that we've exhausted the pumpkin spice market, any new ideas? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7883 Thanks for entering the "Look like how you feel about mandatory office costume parties" costume party. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
7884 Let’s all use our squashes. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7885 Big Pumpkin Plotting How To Make Squash the Taste of the Season 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7886 Ha Ha Ha! Look... you all have the same face! LOL! 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
7887 No matter how sad it makes you, no one is being transferred to the Sleepy Hollow office. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7888 Yes, but is it spooky enough to reach this years OKRs?? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7889 Just another tough scareholder’s meeting… 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7890 Gentleman there is a shortage in tea lights.” We’ve hit rock botto 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7891 So next year we’re going to offer dental coverage for the first time….Just kidding, bwahaha! 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7892 Good news: we are getting a lot of notoriety from a band’s name. Bad news: they’re not exactly speaking highly of us 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
7893 To stay on The Board, you’ll wear your pumpkin head at all meetings. 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
7894 Gentlepumps, let us not forget, it’s our patchy origins that brought us here today. 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
7895 Bad news fellas, our competitors have just launched a pumpkin patch” #stopsmoking 🚬 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
7896 I see most of you failed to get your frown muscles tightened. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7897 ...and the call was coming from inside the house. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7898 Pumpkinhead is your favorite rock group. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7899 What we clearly have is open-mindedness! 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7900 This year's award for Community Outreach will go the volunteer who takes a large bag of toys and waits for the children in Linus's pumpkin patch. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7901 Mukimono? Yeah, they’re cute but no competition! Halloween IS about Jack-o-Lanterns. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7902 Bob is going to carve out some space for next week's edition... 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7903 Now, just remember, Americans do not like Socialism. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7904 Jack, could you update the gourd on PSL market penetration. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7905 It's time to spice up our pumpkin brand, Jack-O-Lanterns, roast their unborn, and carve out the competition. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7906 Mr Jack O’lantern called in carved today. 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
7907 …so my ski instructor asks me if I carve. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
7908 It's time to put the pumpkin in pumpkin spice. Let's put our heads together and get in on this trend. Clear your schedules for the rest of October 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
7909 I thought I was going to meet with cantaloupes 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
7910 This gourd-meeting could have been an email 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
7911 …and I’m pleased to announce the Smashing Pumpkins will be playing the Halloween party this year. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
7912 I don’t know about the rest of you but I feel like a seasonal cider. 1.0851 0.04114 47 43 4 0
7913 And so, Ministers, our new dress-code will ensure voters can gauge our length in office any time they see us, without having to resort to a tabloid's livestream. 1.0847 0.04384 59 55 3 1
7914 Good morning, welcome to pumpkin corp. 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7915 I'm afraid we have to carve back our workforce. 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7916 This new strategy to squash the competition is smashimg! 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7917 I know we seem like a one trick pony, but scary pumpkins just don’t work for new baby gifts. 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7918 When the Dow, Nasdaq and S&P tank I invest in Botox to turn my frown into a grin... 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7919 So we’re all in agreement that Product should move forward with Human Spice Lattes? 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7920 Shall we fund the new Pumpkinverse, so that halloween is everyday, Council? Oct 31st will be the new year. Vote is now. 🎃 1.0847 0.04384 59 55 3 1
7921 - “Bad news, folks. Our new CFO is Billy Corgan.” 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7922 'We have been carving up the competition this quarter.' 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7923 Our pump"kinship" policy has nothing to do with nepotism fellows... lighten up! " 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7924 Pumpkins' meeting on how they will not become a spiced latte 1.0847 0.04384 59 55 3 1
7925 We're a little uniform these days..." 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
7926 Time take you top off and light your candle! On the count of three! 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
7927 hey babby girl lemme jack your o lantern if ya know what i mean" "jeremy can we please talk about the stocks makret 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
7928 As you know, it's time for the Great Pumpkin Sacrifice. Any volunteers? 1.0833 0.04312 60 56 3 1
7929 Gentleman, our time has come 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
7930 It's okay. I haven't had to pay for a haircut in years. 1.0833 0.03598 60 55 5 0
7931 I've given the interns several Louisville Sluggers to share. No need to clean out your desks. 1.0833 0.04312 60 56 3 1
7932 Now when I say, "Quiet down, Pumpkin-head, you can't be offended!" 1.0833 0.03598 60 55 5 0
7933 Alright gentlemen, this meeting will come to order. 1.0833 0.04312 60 56 3 1
7934 This is just a spiced latte from Starbucks 1.0833 0.04312 60 56 3 1
7935 Due to rise in price this year, you are all fired and will be replaced by zucchinis! 1.0833 0.03598 60 55 5 0
7936 What are you doing here? Am I crazy or didn’t you quit? 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
7937 The color orange may be nice, but green will make you feel much happier. 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
7938 . This is a meeting for all pumpkin heads. Agenda: October is coming again-how do we advertise cheaper alternatives to carving squash instead of pumpkins 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
7939 Now here's the plan... 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
7940 From Goulies and Ghosties and long legged beasties and things that go bump in the night - Good Lord deliver us. 1.0820 0.04243 61 57 3 1
7941 You can't make everyone happy all the time. 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
7942 The London office has not revealed who will be terminated in the restructuring, but I must say it is a smashing proposal. 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
7943 What!? Not a single smile out of you guys? "Gourd Meeting"...don't you get it? 1.0820 0.04243 61 57 3 1
7944 OK! So they'll think we're Trumpists. 1.0820 0.04243 61 57 3 1
7945 - The meeting wasn’t going to go well knowing he had been carved wrong… 1.0820 0.04243 61 57 3 1
7946 If you don’t foresee deep cuts ahead with me as Chairman of the Gourd, then you don’t know Jack! 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
7947 Welcome to the annual meeting of Jack-o-laterns Inc. I have brought you all here today to discuss the recent deaths through catapult and thigh smashes, we must be strong 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
7948 @jbroskelley 1.0816 0.04911 49 46 2 1
7949 we are running out of pumpkins in the city 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
7950 Work from home was cancelled at midnight. 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
7951 As more and more of my hair receded, more and more of my head was revealed. 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
7952 We've lost our largest investor.. but good news is we'll all be moosh by the end of the quarter anyways. 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
7953 And I'm pleased to announce that our 'Pumpkin COVID' meme ploy has led to record survival numbers for 2022. 1.0806 0.04176 62 58 3 1
7954 So, It is decided that board meetings, rather than quarterly, take place like every ten minutes due to spoilage. 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
7955 All right, so it's agreed. Next year, we carve smiles on your faces to improve board meeting morale. 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
7956 I’d like a motion to advocate for defunding the ‘Patch’! 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
7957 Here's the plan. To increase sales, we carve pumpkins. 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
7958 All in favor of more pumpkin pies? 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
7959 Good, you're all finished. Now we can carve up the profits. 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
7960 For our new budget, I've carved myself a multi-million dollar salary. 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
7961 . “You know who I am my face is orange, yours too, time to change the company name….” 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
7962 ...on the up side, our corporate support for pumpkin awareness week has been noted in the New Yorker! 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
7963 With all the pressure from market volitility and the world opening up after a global pandemic, its important that we carve out some person time for ourselves. 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
7964 I can tell you're not happy about this… 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
7965 Gentlemen, as chairman of the O'Lantern Corporation, and after the successful hostile takeover of Christmas, Inc., I say it's OUR TURN to do the carving up! 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
7966 i’m sure we are all de-lighted to be here! 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
7967 Good news. We only need to produce ten pies this quarter. 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
7968 The numbers don't lie. It appears that our diversity outreach efforts need more fine tuning. 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
7969 As you all know Halloween is coming up soon. 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
7970 Let's get this Gourd meeting started! 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
7971 This year I will be in charge. "We'll be mean on Halloween." 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
7972 First on the agenda: The COC (Chief of Carving) has been replaced. 1.0794 0.04112 63 59 3 1
7973 So, all of us being named “Jack” is starting to get confusing 1.0794 0.04112 63 59 3 1
7974 The good news is, we’ve never been more popular. The bad news is… 1.0794 0.04112 63 59 3 1
7975 Okay, I’m feeling elightened: what about forbidding to call their significant others pumpkin on February? 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
7976 Now imagine how the beer feels 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
7977 Folks don’t tend to ‘pass through’ Pottsfield. 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
7978 We need more wolfman! 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
7979 Well, who will be the pie this Thanksgiving? 1.0784 0.04722 51 48 2 1
7980 Not seeing a lot of originality in your faces this year, guys, so cut away those frowns and start again. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
7981 Finally the day we’ve all been waiting for; but this year a new twist; have you heard about the new Vaseline jelly news? 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
7982 Board Meeting Nov 2022 At Twitter 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
7983 Pumpkins, I have called this meeting to discuss strategies for retaliation against the humans! Carving us will be no more! 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
7984 ...and here's another pie chart for you. 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
7985 Is Jack O’Lantern here? 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
7986 Our pumpkin investments have been going up the whole month of October and I got a feeling they're going to peak right around January." 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
7987 Can I ask you a question, Jack?” “Of course, Jack.” “Of course, Jack.” “Of course, Jack.” “Of course, Jack.” “Of course, Jack.” “Of course, Jack.” “Of course, Jack.” “Of course, Jack.” “Of course, Jack.” “Of course, Jack. 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
7988 Stop jacking around this is serious business 1.0781 0.04049 64 60 3 1
7989 We are going to have to make some cuts to the board this year 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
7990 Welcome to the CollaBOOration Decorating Committee for a fun Halloween celebration! Ready to put your heads to it? 1.0781 0.04049 64 60 3 1
7991 Thank you all for coming together to discuss the new work attire policy" @kdhonu @newyorkercartoon 1.0781 0.04049 64 60 3 1
7992 As to the motion that "The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead", as performed by Crash Test Dummies, is better than that of XTC...do I have a seconder? 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
7993 I’m thrilled to announce I will be the first astronaut on our new company rocket “Pumpkin Space. 1.0769 0.03985 78 74 2 2
7994 Due to recent budget cuts, I’m going to have to smash some of you. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
7995 Pumpkin Spice latte sales are down 40 % and heads are going to roll. 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
7996 The good news is,I was carved with a smile. The bad news is,we 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
7997 I have gained control of over 51% of all pumpkin spice stocks. essentially giving me control of the world - at least until November 1. 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
7998 I have brought my best investigators together to find the fiend that chopped off the head of our beloved horseman 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
7999 'Let's vote - pumpkin pie for dessert? 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
8000 So pumpkin spice is everywhere. Now what? 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
8001 To the members of the gourd… 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
8002 OK! Now looking ahead, where do you think we'll be by November 1st? 1.0769 0.03988 65 61 3 1
8003 It’s pumpkin spice season, Hooray! First volunteer? 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
8004 The gourd news is the board is still extremely diverse — nobody agrees on anything. 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
8005 I trust you are all comfortable with the Ethic Committee's suggestion for this month's Board vote. 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
8006 So it's unanimous, H. Horseman Industries starts the hostile takeover of Crane Educational. 1.0758 0.03929 66 62 3 1
8007 Ten little pumpkins attending a staff meeting. Ten pumpkins attending a staff meeting. Who has the best recipe for pumpkin pie? 1.0758 0.03929 66 62 3 1
8008 Smile, it's time to carve out our bonuses 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
8009 Trick or Tramp. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
8010 The economic situation indicates that we have to cut this table in half 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
8011 So, we're all agreed. No smiling faces this Halloween. . . 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
8012 I know it’s a risk, but I want to see more investments in our wreath division 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
8013 Glad to see everyone really embracing the Big Farma rebrand 1.0746 0.03871 67 63 3 1
8014 Okay guys, no more pumpkin latte allowed in the workplace. 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
8015 Let’s begin this meeting by carving out some ideas for the annual Gourd of Directors bash 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
8016 you will either end up in a pie or with a disfigured face and hosting a candle .. are there any questions? 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
8017 All those in favor of becoming a pie after Halloween, say aye. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
8018 Let’s discuss ideas on how we can attract more diverse candidates. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
8019 This year's numbers are looking jacked up 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
8020 „Gaslight!“ 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
8021 Sure, imminent collapse seems bad but if you're rich enough you can profit off of any failure. 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
8022 More needs to be done! My seeds! Hands off my pumpkin head! 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
8023 Thank you all for carving some time out of your day for this. 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
8024 I would like to squash any rumors of a poor third quarter.. 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
8025 With Halloween coming, and with our current supply chain issues, we may need to cut our workforce. Our heads are on the line, people! 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
8026 Gentlemen, it's been a great quarter. But now that demand is down, to keep investors happy one of you is going to have to get carved up. 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
8027 I've decided to take a position at another company as a stern-faced CEO. 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
8028 Come November, I encourage our shareholders to hold on tight-my gut is telling me pumpkin sales are going to skyrocket through January 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
8029 Now spice it up and smash some heads! 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
8030 Well Gentleman, just as we all feared, the city has gone bankrupt 1.0727 0.04384 55 52 2 1
8031 Gate Night, schmate night. I’m going out. Who’s with me? 1.0727 0.04384 55 52 2 1
8032 Time for our annual team activity. This year we're going to a concert with Smashing Pumpkins! 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
8033 You don't understand, you are one of us. We serve the same hand that rips us from our thoughts. You are blinded by your superficial power. 1.0725 0.03761 69 65 3 1
8034 What can I say? I'm way too gourd to be here. 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
8035 The pie filling supply chain solution does not apply to anyone with upside down eyes!" Rich Cimino, Fraser, C 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
8036 Any ideas? There's gotta be a light in there somewhere! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
8037 When is that guy with the glass slipper finally coming? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
8038 All in favor of getting smashed after the meeting say aye!! 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8039 Gentlemen,it is essential that we squash the shareholder movement to unseed this board. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
8040 I guess we know who will not be going to the patch. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
8041 We're changing our production line from vaccines to pies. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
8042 Coffee break time. Anybody feel like a pumpkin-spiced latte? 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
8043 Let's wrap our heads together around a prize-winning new recipe for pumpkin pie! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
8044 As a special treat, I’m firing 75% of you, then I’ll be tricking those left to work four times harder. 1.0714 0.03709 70 66 3 1
8045 What Dwight Schrute's ideal halloween would be like as the regional manager of the Scranton branch" 🎃🎃 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
8046 Now first things first…did anyone bring their pumpkin seeds? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
8047 Today, I want you all to get on board with low-hanging fruit. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
8048 Their pumpkin spice isn’t a patch on ours, we just need an aggressive marketing strategy 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
8049 And this leaves me with an underlying question: which one of you look the most like me in order to get promoted? hmmmmn ....Yes, indeed. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
8050 Here's the theme for Halloween Magazine's next issue: Smash or Pass! 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
8051 Pumpkin scent down. Apple scent up. Carve yourself sad. 1.0704 0.03657 71 67 3 1
8052 This concludes our meeting I hope you enjoyed learning how our faces are made. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
8053 Look on the sunny side . . . the computer patch squashed the competition! 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
8054 The pumpkin spice men's cologne was an epic failure, so we need to let go of a few heads to make our Q3 numbers. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
8055 Diversity has always been our greatest strength! 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
8056 This time it'll be us gutting them from the inside out. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
8057 My sources tell me that underneath, one of you is a cheese head and another has mutton head tendencies. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
8058 So the good news is that Pumpkin Spice has been a hit. Bad news is that there is now a pumpkin shortage due to supply chain issues. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
8059 Monday Scaries 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
8060 HR have implemented a new seasonal dress code in the hope that it Pumps-kinship among the teams. We can drill down and Squash any complaints we can circle back to at a later period, and work on gaining traction for a Gourd year in profits. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
8061 We've decided to add Jeffrey Dahmer costumes to the line up for Spirit Halloween! 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
8062 I’m sorry. Mariah Carey is coming to town. 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
8063 Where are the women? 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
8064 We need to diversify, so I am replacing one of you with someone who can grow a beard. 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
8065 You guys won't fucking believe this, but he turned himself into a pickle. 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
8066 Welcome, everyone, to the annual board meeting of the Sleepy Hollow Equestrian Society." 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
8067 -One day we will look back and say “Those were not the best days of my life” 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
8068 Sorry guys…it appears that the Squash Division has decided to to request their slice of the pie!!! 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
8069 C'mon people use your gourds. . 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
8070 ‘How dare they come here with just the pie crust!’ 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
8071 They're trying to close us down and turn our building into a Spirit Halloween. Is there anyone here that still has their candle burning with new ideas on how to save us? 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
8072 I ordered refreshments. I assume everyone here is fine with pumpkin spice. 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
8073 These numbers just aren’t carving it anymore. 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
8074 Then the lady asked dirty Johnny if you're a pirate where's your buccaneers? And dirty Johnny says right here on my bucking head lady. 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
8075 Our one night of the year is coming up, but everyone be back in the office all the earlier the next morning. 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
8076 Congratulations everyone. You are true team players. Thank you for complying with our final request. 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
8077 Our corporation just got bought by Elon Musk! 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
8078 „The yearly meeting of the Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Board-of-Directors commenced as scheduled, Rumours say there will be Recession related cuts.“ 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
8079 If only we could mansplain more to these gourd of directors. 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
8080 We’re getting out-scared by reality 2:1… how can we dress this up? 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
8081 My weekend was great, thanks! My neighbor made me the most delicious pie! Not sure what was in it, but the filling was golden brown, and I swear it had nutmeg and cloves... 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
8082 So what do you all think about the new uniforms? 1.0667 0.03247 60 56 4 0
8083 I know you all think the fourth quarter numbers will be scary, but I am always optimistic” 1.0667 0.03247 60 56 4 0
8084 One potato, two potatoes, three potatoes, four 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
8085 Good morning. Let's introduce ourselves. I am Mr O'Lantern. 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
8086 The raven is freed. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
8087 And now for the bad news, you all need to work over time through October 31 and you will each rot in place! 1.0667 0.03247 60 56 4 0
8088 We're all just cutouts 1.0667 0.04024 60 57 2 1
8089 Okay Jack, wow me. 1.0667 0.03247 60 56 4 0
8090 It's time we put our heads together on this! 1.0656 0.03959 61 58 2 1
8091 As we negotiate next years salaries, I happy to announce the cafe is now serving pumpkin spice lattes 1.0656 0.03959 61 58 2 1
8092 EVEN THOUGH CLIMATE CHANGE WILL KILL, LETS DO NOTHING 1.0656 0.03196 61 57 4 0
8093 We're excited to celebrate our return-to-stoop plans. 1.0656 0.03196 61 57 4 0
8094 Smashing pumpkins are a band? 1.0656 0.03959 61 58 2 1
8095 Before we begin, I have a few choice words for whoever organized the décor for our unicorn-themed October investment board meeting. 1.0645 0.03145 62 58 4 0
8096 It looks like your ideals may be squashed. 1.0645 0.03145 62 58 4 0
8097 This is really gonna pay off come November 2024. 1.0645 0.03145 62 58 4 0
8098 I thought there would be more happy faces when I asked everyone to work Halloween. 1.0645 0.03145 62 58 4 0
8099 I hear all your concerns, but assigning each of you to our newly acquired pumpkin patches is the right next move for the company. 1.0645 0.03145 62 58 4 0
8100 Looks like our spooks are up 15% this month! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
8101 We shall submit or shall we submit?? 1.0635 0.03097 63 59 4 0
8102 No need to feel so sad fellas, the smile was carved into me 1.0635 0.03097 63 59 4 0
8103 I know you’d rather be working from home but we’re going to do team building until I see all smiles — so let’s get carving. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
8104 The good news is that profits for the Fall quarter are at a record high. The bad news: we'll be needing to carve into some new markets. 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
8105 Now listen up folks, we need to focus in on how to get more in-store shelf life and push Big Christmas back into their own lane. It’s August for corpse’s sake! 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
8106 This quarter we’recutting everyone on the board who doesn’t turn their frown upside down. 1.0625 0.03776 64 61 2 1
8107 Now that we've gotten into the spirit, I think we're ready for today's "spooky" agenda! Layoffs. 1.0615 0.03004 65 61 4 0
8108 As for good news, at least there’s no new virus this year. 1.0615 0.03004 65 61 4 0
8109 Yknow, I'm something of a gourd myself 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
8110 Due to supply chain disruptions, our pumpkin spice reserves are running low. So I'll need three volunteers." 1.0606 0.02960 66 62 4 0
8111 I apologize, but it turns out that we were supposed to assemble a new board of directors. 1.0606 0.02960 66 62 4 0
8112 Welcome to the season of carving, smashing, possum eating and delicious pumpkin pie. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
8113 At least we’re not Jack-o-Lanterns. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
8114 This quarter's numbers are looking good, but I don't think we're beating Rudolph on the Claus deal. 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
8115 Okay you pumpkin heads, show your best faces for Halloween. 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
8116 ‘And now I think what it could be if I‘ll put on a sink on my head’ 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
8117 We project that every small town in America will have its own Headless Horseman by the end of the next fiscal year. 1.0577 0.03265 52 49 3 0
8118 We just got an invite from Peter Piper to his Halloween party. 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
8119 People in a cult don't know they're in a cult. But everyone else can tell that about the Democratic Party.” 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
8120 Pumpkin heads running our world 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
8121 You are what you eat! 1.0566 0.04186 53 51 1 1
8122 So how are the curves coming in for this month end? 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
8123 Always leave them wanting more is my motto.That is why I am The Great Pumpkin 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
8124 Sweet potato sales are up,how do we fix this Jack #3. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
8125 All those in favor of discontinuing candy corn, say aye”. 🎃 @jelorth 1.0545 0.03090 55 52 3 0
8126 Pumpkin spice chemotherapy. Who's with me? 1.0536 0.03036 56 53 3 0
8127 OK gentlemen, I know it will be a very busy season this year. So don’t lose your heads ! 1.0536 0.03036 56 53 3 0
8128 H 1.0536 0.03036 56 53 3 0
8129 We need a bigger table. There’s a bit of a squash in here. 1.0526 0.02984 57 54 3 0
8130 So going forward, all TPS (Test Pumpkin Specification) reports will be submitted electronically! 1.0526 0.02984 57 54 3 0
8131 I did it to try to help humanity, whom I love…to eat. 1.0526 0.02984 57 54 3 0
8132 If we do not reach this target by the end of the third quarter,believe me,heads will roll! 1.0526 0.02984 57 54 3 0
8133 After this terrible quarterly report, pumpkin heads will roll 1.0517 0.02933 58 55 3 0
8134 So each of you must choose: Squash or Gourd? You can't sit on the fence! 1.0517 0.02933 58 55 3 0
8135 lets put our heads together and come up with a candelabra instead of just some brainstormed light bulb 1.0517 0.02933 58 55 3 0
8136 Okay, here at The Pumpkin Patch Company, we are looking on how to get seed money to grow our company! 1.0517 0.02933 58 55 3 0
8137 Meeting's over,anyone for a game squash? 1.0508 0.02885 59 56 3 0
8138 Why are we all wearing pumpkins? 1.0500 0.02837 60 57 3 0
8139 Thank you all for attending this quarter's gourd meeting. 1.0492 0.02792 61 58 3 0
8140 Be proud when you show your faces out there and don’t forget orange is the new yellow. 1.0492 0.02792 61 58 3 0
8141 We’re looking for a gourd 4th quarter… not a spooky one. 1.0492 0.02792 61 58 3 0
8142 I have the results of the shareholder vote, which ended yesterday at midnight. 1.0484 0.02747 62 59 3 0
8143 Good morning. Now that I am in charge of Twitter, I am allowing Donald Trump to tweet again. 1.0476 0.03526 63 61 1 1
8144 You want candles!?! Candles are for closers! I outta pumpkin chuck you right outta this room and back to whatever pumpkin patch they found your crooked head in! 1.0476 0.02705 63 60 3 0
8145 I disagree, I think it is all about the chemistry you have with them! 1.0469 0.03472 64 62 1 1
8146 The mob called. They’re on their way. They need bowling balls. 1.0469 0.03472 64 62 1 1
8147 Don't you think it's time we took these off now? It's almost Christmas... 1.0448 0.02546 67 64 3 0
8148 Buck up guys. It’s only once a year. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
8149 And I Jack the pumpkin 🎃 king 👑 have so grown tired of the same old thing.” - Tim Burto 1.0441 0.03269 68 66 1 1
8150 I know how much it irks you, Jack, but I doubt ‘Human-Spiced Latte’ will ever catch on. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
8151 We need to extend pass lattes and pies and need some volunteers who first? 1.0417 0.02372 72 69 3 0
8152 The pumpkins are stuck at the docks, the skeletons are on strike, looks like we'll have to look for other sources for our PSL .. any ideas? 1.0408 0.02856 49 47 2 0
8153 At least we're not naked like we were in Browski's dream. 1.0385 0.02693 52 50 2 0
8154 Then it's agreed we cut out the pumpkin spice lattes next fall. 1.0385 0.02693 52 50 2 0
8155 I do have a reason for asking you to be masked as pumpkins today. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
8156 This month’s sales contest? First prize is a Cadillac El Dorado. Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you get the leads on who cast the spell on you suns a bitches! 1.0364 0.02547 55 53 2 0
8157 Well, yes, that's a good idea, Jack, but it's nothing to light a candle about. 1.0364 0.02547 55 53 2 0
8158 Intel chatter is up so keep your heads inside. 1.0351 0.02459 57 55 2 0
8159 Our new policy is guaranteed to make heads roll! 1.0339 0.02376 59 57 2 0
8160 How can we stop them from calling us chowder heads? 1.0333 0.02337 60 58 2 0
8161 Gentlemen,we’re not in Oz anymore. 1.0323 0.02262 62 60 2 0
8162 This new phase is gonna take a lotta guts, and I’m afraid most of you have lost yours. 1.0323 0.03226 62 61 0 1
8163 Our VC didn’t come through, so we’re going to change tack and will be requiring seeds from each of you… 1.0323 0.02262 62 60 2 0
8164 Bad news. Pumpkin futures are down and we 1.0317 0.02227 63 61 2 0
8165 "Who wants to second my motion for adding leggings?" 1.0317 0.02227 63 61 2 0
8166 I feel terrible about missing it. It’ll be a real smash. 1.0312 0.02192 64 62 2 0
8167 - “It is with great pleasure that I announce this year’s executive compensation plan will include bonuses despite quarterly losses thanks to our new private equity investor, Peter Pumpkin Eater, LLC.” 1.0312 0.02192 64 62 2 0
8168 Pumpkin Heads carving the leader 1.0308 0.02159 65 63 2 0
8169 Unfortunately, this is not a trick and there are no treats. We're laying off 30% of our workforce. 1.0308 0.02159 65 63 2 0
8170 They are all getting sick of pumpkin spice everything. 1.0308 0.02159 65 63 2 0
8171 Masks NEVER! 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
8172 At the end of the season, we're all on the same patch." 1.0167 0.01681 60 59 1 0
8173 Gentlemen, October was a windfall month. But we all knew it wouldn’t last. Kudos to everyone that sold early. I’m afraid it’s pumpkin pie for the rest of you. 1.0156 0.01575 64 63 1 0
8174 Smile everyone, pumpkin pie for dessert! 1.0000 0.02353 43 43 0 0