These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.
Name | Value |
---|---|
Submission deadline | 2022-10-30T19:42:00.000Z |
Voting started | - |
Voting ended | 2022-11-13T20:42:00.000Z |
Finalists announced | 2022-11-07T20:42:00.000Z |
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued | November 14, 2022 |
Number of captions | 8175 |
Number of responses | 808863 |
Number of participants | - |
In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.
Rank | Caption | Mean | Precision | Total votes | "Unfunny" votes | "Somewhat funny" votes | "Funny" votes |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
0 | Just remember, you can be empty headed and orange and still succeed in America. | 1.9694 | 0.01557 | 3107 | 1218 | 766 | 1123 |
1 | Thanks for carving out a little face time.” | 1.8490 | 0.01316 | 3840 | 1611 | 1198 | 1031 |
2 | First the good news. Nobody's getting canned.” | 1.8337 | 0.01237 | 4233 | 1781 | 1375 | 1077 |
3 | So, where do you see yourselves, three days from now? | 1.8302 | 0.01266 | 3975 | 1661 | 1328 | 986 |
4 | As part of our diversity initiative, Mr. Potato Head will be joining the board. | 1.8285 | 0.01788 | 2082 | 902 | 635 | 545 |
5 | Great news. We now have a dental plan! | 1.8281 | 0.01521 | 2792 | 1183 | 906 | 703 |
6 | There’s no sugarcoating it. Our prospects after November are rotten. | 1.8208 | 0.01548 | 2545 | 1045 | 911 | 589 |
7 | Anyone care to illuminate me? | 1.8194 | 0.01483 | 2630 | 1041 | 1023 | 566 |
8 | Let’s get through the office party tonight without anyone getting smashed. | 1.8147 | 0.01263 | 3885 | 1630 | 1345 | 910 |
9 | I just love to see your faces light up. | 1.8136 | 0.01416 | 2902 | 1165 | 1113 | 624 |
10 | Anyone planning on getting lit tonight? | 1.8081 | 0.01593 | 2356 | 973 | 862 | 521 |
11 | I'm sorry to say that some of you are going to be canned. | 1.7953 | 0.01369 | 3243 | 1385 | 1137 | 721 |
12 | Gentlemen, you'll be pleased to know today's pie is pecan. | 1.7929 | 0.01523 | 2617 | 1121 | 917 | 579 |
13 | At the end of this month, you're all getting canned. | 1.7910 | 0.01422 | 3019 | 1303 | 1044 | 672 |
14 | I apologize for making you all a bit uneasy. Perhaps "smashing success" was a poor choice of words. | 1.7837 | 0.01515 | 2617 | 1130 | 923 | 564 |
15 | We're ending the work-from-the-porch policy. | 1.7772 | 0.01438 | 2936 | 1291 | 1008 | 637 |
16 | Listen, the bottom line is, it takes guts, and you guys just dont have it in you. | 1.7768 | 0.01604 | 2357 | 1036 | 811 | 510 |
17 | I told you the work was seasonal when you started. | 1.7753 | 0.01603 | 2256 | 964 | 835 | 457 |
18 | Gentlemen, I brought you here because you’re the best in your field. | 1.7674 | 0.02105 | 1350 | 597 | 470 | 283 |
19 | That’s right, Jack, we’re all getting canned. | 1.7612 | 0.01516 | 2609 | 1168 | 896 | 545 |
20 | I’m afraid we’re going to have to make a few more cuts. | 1.7581 | 0.01564 | 2294 | 988 | 873 | 433 |
21 | Let's turn those frowns into smiles. Who has a knife? | 1.7574 | 0.01517 | 2543 | 1127 | 906 | 510 |
22 | And then a candle went off in my head… | 1.7471 | 0.01845 | 1811 | 845 | 579 | 387 |
23 | The shareholders are complaining about a lack of diversity. | 1.7464 | 0.01464 | 2744 | 1243 | 954 | 547 |
24 | I know putting on a good face will be hard for many of you. | 1.7428 | 0.01452 | 2675 | 1186 | 991 | 498 |
25 | Before anyone asks: yes, I had some work done, and yes, it makes me happy. | 1.7419 | 0.01645 | 2255 | 1054 | 729 | 472 |
26 | Heads up. I'm afraid we are going to have to make some additional cuts. | 1.7415 | 0.01880 | 1640 | 742 | 580 | 318 |
27 | After the meeting, let's all go out and get smashed. | 1.7403 | 0.01765 | 2010 | 958 | 616 | 436 |
28 | Let’s welcome our newest board member — also named Jack. | 1.7342 | 0.02099 | 1343 | 623 | 454 | 266 |
29 | The good news is we’re having a Halloween office party. The bad news is we’re gonna need pies. | 1.7337 | 0.01552 | 2557 | 1218 | 802 | 537 |
30 | Yes, I had some work done. | 1.7313 | 0.01497 | 2654 | 1241 | 885 | 528 |
31 | you ALL dressed as trump? | 1.7301 | 0.01852 | 1901 | 945 | 524 | 432 |
32 | I’ll need that pie chart by the end of the month. | 1.7268 | 0.01581 | 2343 | 1093 | 797 | 453 |
33 | I’m sorry, but you’re all getting canned. | 1.7268 | 0.02318 | 1131 | 540 | 360 | 231 |
34 | It brings me no joy to say this but very few of you will make it through November. | 1.7252 | 0.01723 | 1994 | 939 | 664 | 391 |
35 | I know it's Monday but I just can't get this smile off my face. | 1.7215 | 0.01822 | 1727 | 802 | 604 | 321 |
36 | Enough with the jokes about pie charts. | 1.7203 | 0.01717 | 1952 | 911 | 676 | 365 |
37 | From the looks on your faces I think we need to carve out a new strategy | 1.7184 | 0.01643 | 2099 | 973 | 744 | 382 |
38 | Heads are going to roll. | 1.7172 | 0.01645 | 2058 | 946 | 748 | 364 |
39 | What can I say? I was cut out for this job! | 1.7138 | 0.02210 | 1188 | 563 | 402 | 223 |
40 | Sad to say, but the lot of you won't make it past the end of the month. | 1.7087 | 0.01831 | 1648 | 765 | 598 | 285 |
41 | I’m here to lite a fire inside all of you | 1.7065 | 0.01773 | 1714 | 787 | 643 | 284 |
42 | Empty-headed, yes, but with an inner light. | 1.7030 | 0.01858 | 1623 | 767 | 571 | 285 |
43 | Gentlemen, look around. This time next week, half of you will be gone. | 1.7017 | 0.01898 | 1569 | 747 | 543 | 279 |
44 | Face it, not everyone is cut out for this type of work. | 1.6991 | 0.01935 | 1439 | 669 | 534 | 236 |
45 | Anyone have thoughts on how we remain relevant the other eleven months of the year | 1.6979 | 0.01920 | 1493 | 704 | 536 | 253 |
46 | Well, yes, Jack, I do anticipate layoffs come November. | 1.6978 | 0.01908 | 1486 | 694 | 547 | 245 |
47 | All in favor of switching to LED lights, raise your hand. | 1.6953 | 0.01947 | 1444 | 682 | 520 | 242 |
48 | I'm not sure you guys are cut out for this job. | 1.6947 | 0.01941 | 1415 | 659 | 529 | 227 |
49 | Now, which one of you is Jack? | 1.6938 | 0.02043 | 1398 | 687 | 452 | 259 |
50 | You will all be canned by the end of next month. | 1.6906 | 0.02137 | 1335 | 677 | 394 | 264 |
51 | I'm pleased to announce that we are now offering a dental plan. | 1.6853 | 0.02187 | 1249 | 631 | 380 | 238 |
52 | Concerns have been raised about diversity. | 1.6823 | 0.02395 | 1048 | 534 | 313 | 201 |
53 | And in the ‘scary swollen orange head’ category, once again we have been beaten by Donald Trump. | 1.6750 | 0.02452 | 1086 | 588 | 263 | 235 |
54 | Next on the agenda: staff requests for a new dental plan… | 1.6734 | 0.02327 | 1044 | 521 | 343 | 180 |
55 | Unfortunately, we have to make more cuts | 1.6731 | 0.02368 | 982 | 483 | 337 | 162 |
56 | It's the big weekend - let's get smashed! | 1.6728 | 0.02272 | 1039 | 504 | 371 | 164 |
57 | We'll be looking at a series of pie charts. | 1.6667 | 0.02557 | 897 | 462 | 272 | 163 |
58 | After the meeting is over, let's all go out and get smashed. | 1.6660 | 0.02535 | 958 | 508 | 262 | 188 |
59 | Thank you all for carving out some time to meet | 1.6641 | 0.02436 | 917 | 455 | 315 | 147 |
60 | Let's be clear. I can replace all of you as easy as pie. | 1.6641 | 0.02403 | 914 | 446 | 329 | 139 |
61 | Starting November first, heads are going to roll. | 1.6621 | 0.02492 | 953 | 497 | 281 | 175 |
62 | You're going to be restructured. We've already canned your boss. | 1.6599 | 0.02511 | 882 | 446 | 290 | 146 |
63 | The future is ours -- but only for about two weeks." | 1.6594 | 0.02417 | 872 | 421 | 327 | 124 |
64 | I’m announcing that I’m transitioning from Jack to Jacqueline | 1.6579 | 0.02560 | 915 | 484 | 260 | 171 |
65 | I'd like to know which one of you forgot the pie charts? | 1.6571 | 0.02513 | 875 | 443 | 289 | 143 |
66 | I expect that by the fourth quarter all our faces will be lighting up. | 1.6560 | 0.02500 | 846 | 419 | 299 | 128 |
67 | So, I guess brainstorming is out…. | 1.6555 | 0.02606 | 839 | 433 | 262 | 144 |
68 | Due to the pending acquisition, several of you will have to be canned. | 1.6531 | 0.02682 | 810 | 425 | 241 | 144 |
69 | All of you are going to be canned. | 1.6501 | 0.02634 | 823 | 429 | 253 | 141 |
70 | You will all be staying for the compost meeting. | 1.6480 | 0.02698 | 784 | 410 | 240 | 134 |
71 | Wait… is there anybody here NOT named Jack? | 1.6466 | 0.02633 | 781 | 398 | 261 | 122 |
72 | Alright fellas, we’re going to have to make cuts somewhere. | 1.6451 | 0.02822 | 696 | 360 | 223 | 113 |
73 | Our new health plan includes dental. | 1.6450 | 0.02733 | 783 | 417 | 227 | 139 |
74 | None of you has any guts. | 1.6436 | 0.02813 | 724 | 382 | 218 | 124 |
75 | Come on, we’ve all faced cuts before. | 1.6426 | 0.02596 | 831 | 434 | 260 | 137 |
76 | We're done here. Now let's go get lit. | 1.6420 | 0.02802 | 743 | 397 | 215 | 131 |
77 | First order: Gourdon, have you prepared the pie chart? | 1.6407 | 0.02799 | 757 | 409 | 211 | 137 |
78 | As some of you may have heard, we had to let Peter Peter go | 1.6405 | 0.02903 | 701 | 378 | 197 | 126 |
79 | Call me Jack please. Mr. O’Lantern was my father. | 1.6379 | 0.02849 | 696 | 368 | 212 | 116 |
80 | My next bit of news should make your faces all light up. | 1.6370 | 0.02731 | 730 | 379 | 237 | 114 |
81 | We’re facing some further cuts. | 1.6338 | 0.02834 | 650 | 332 | 224 | 94 |
82 | No, you all can't take Halloween off. | 1.6323 | 0.03575 | 446 | 239 | 132 | 75 |
83 | Unfortunately, we're going to have to make more cuts. | 1.6280 | 0.02903 | 664 | 355 | 201 | 108 |
84 | I heard your concerns and I want you to know you can all rest easy now. Peter-Peter has been fired. | 1.6263 | 0.03173 | 586 | 323 | 159 | 104 |
85 | We need to rebrand. Focus groups think Jack O’Lantern sounds too Irish. | 1.6263 | 0.02874 | 693 | 376 | 200 | 117 |
86 | We’ll skip the pie charts. | 1.6250 | 0.03175 | 592 | 329 | 156 | 107 |
87 | The good news is that this holiday is about candy. The bad news is that the next one is about pie. | 1.6248 | 0.03139 | 613 | 343 | 157 | 113 |
88 | 'A board of reindeer will replace us on November 1.' | 1.6246 | 0.03044 | 602 | 323 | 182 | 97 |
89 | Then, we all agree we’ll never use pie charts. | 1.6219 | 0.03077 | 603 | 329 | 173 | 101 |
90 | I am going to keep tossing out ideas until I see someone's face light up! | 1.6204 | 0.03301 | 540 | 300 | 145 | 95 |
91 | The job is seasonal. | 1.6195 | 0.03177 | 544 | 292 | 167 | 85 |
92 | Good news Gentlemen, we are offering a full dental plan beginning November 1. | 1.6195 | 0.03075 | 586 | 316 | 177 | 93 |
93 | I was only kidding about the pie charts. | 1.6193 | 0.02984 | 675 | 380 | 172 | 123 |
94 | If we just put our heads together, I'm sure we'll come up with a great Thanksgiving dessert. | 1.6170 | 0.03066 | 577 | 309 | 180 | 88 |
95 | Good news. We are getting a Dental Plan. | 1.6164 | 0.03199 | 610 | 352 | 140 | 118 |
96 | Why can't anyone tell when I'm being serious? | 1.6161 | 0.03108 | 560 | 300 | 175 | 85 |
97 | As you may have heard, we’re being acquired by Mr. Potato Head. | 1.6130 | 0.03285 | 540 | 302 | 145 | 93 |
98 | It's just Jack Lantern. There's no Irish in my family. | 1.6127 | 0.03211 | 519 | 278 | 164 | 77 |
99 | You're all being canned! | 1.6125 | 0.03242 | 529 | 289 | 156 | 84 |
100 | I’d like to bring in a consultant. His name is Peter Peter….something or other. | 1.6102 | 0.03429 | 508 | 289 | 128 | 91 |
101 | Next week, two of us will be replaced by a female hubbard squash and a nonbinary rutabaga. | 1.6091 | 0.03347 | 504 | 279 | 143 | 82 |
102 | They're saying we won't make it to the end of November. | 1.6087 | 0.03155 | 529 | 283 | 170 | 76 |
103 | It’s that time of the year where we need to discuss making some cuts. | 1.6076 | 0.03136 | 497 | 257 | 178 | 62 |
104 | I apologize. I wasn't aware of the layoffs when I carved my face this morning. | 1.6075 | 0.03344 | 507 | 282 | 142 | 83 |
105 | We tend to have a rotten November. | 1.6067 | 0.03267 | 506 | 275 | 155 | 76 |
106 | Everybody in favor of apple pie for desert, say Aye. | 1.6065 | 0.03337 | 526 | 298 | 137 | 91 |
107 | Let’s go around and do introductions. I’m Jack. | 1.6056 | 0.03091 | 568 | 310 | 172 | 86 |
108 | Okay, guys, just relax! No one's getting canned. | 1.6054 | 0.03325 | 522 | 294 | 140 | 88 |
109 | The rumors are true, October 31 is our last day. | 1.6052 | 0.03385 | 504 | 284 | 135 | 85 |
110 | Don't look so sad, everyone Only one of you is being canned. | 1.6050 | 0.03297 | 481 | 258 | 155 | 68 |
111 | If sales don’t pick up soon, you’re all going to get canned. | 1.5974 | 0.03406 | 462 | 254 | 140 | 68 |
112 | Good news! Peter Peter is dead! | 1.5920 | 0.03694 | 451 | 268 | 99 | 84 |
113 | It’s called ‘trickle-treat-down economics’. | 1.5909 | 0.03513 | 440 | 246 | 128 | 66 |
114 | I'm afraid there will be additional cuts made. | 1.5888 | 0.03482 | 428 | 235 | 134 | 59 |
115 | We’ve carved out a new benefits package that includes dental. | 1.5871 | 0.03541 | 419 | 232 | 128 | 59 |
116 | I'm the only one cut out for this position. | 1.5869 | 0.03408 | 443 | 243 | 140 | 60 |
117 | I’ll try and keep this brief. I realize we all have front porches to get home to. | 1.5866 | 0.03514 | 433 | 242 | 128 | 63 |
118 | Despite our spirited efforts, the Smashing Pumpkins are still a band. | 1.5844 | 0.03383 | 450 | 248 | 141 | 61 |
119 | My apologies - I shouldn’t have used a pie chart. | 1.5839 | 0.03688 | 423 | 246 | 107 | 70 |
120 | I see good pumpkins in this room. But I don't see a great pumpkin. | 1.5833 | 0.03666 | 408 | 232 | 114 | 62 |
121 | Clearly, our efforts in diversity are failing. | 1.5827 | 0.03599 | 393 | 216 | 125 | 52 |
122 | I'm just as upset as you are. I'm just carved this way. | 1.5812 | 0.03354 | 437 | 237 | 146 | 54 |
123 | Welcoming our new members Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack and Jack.” | 1.5804 | 0.03529 | 491 | 296 | 105 | 90 |
124 | It's like a light just went on in my head." | 1.5799 | 0.03654 | 388 | 216 | 119 | 53 |
125 | Clearly, none of you are cut out for this job. | 1.5794 | 0.03555 | 378 | 203 | 131 | 44 |
126 | Unfortunately, we need to make a few more cuts. | 1.5780 | 0.03449 | 391 | 208 | 140 | 43 |
127 | Enough of this! Put on a happy face. I'll pass out the knives. | 1.5780 | 0.03814 | 372 | 212 | 105 | 55 |
128 | - Now…when I turn off the lights we’ll see who’s got the great idea! | 1.5774 | 0.03348 | 433 | 235 | 146 | 52 |
129 | The important thing is to keep a cool head through the end of the month. Then its the turkeys' turn to worry. | 1.5768 | 0.03566 | 371 | 199 | 130 | 42 |
130 | Most of you will be gone by November. | 1.5767 | 0.03786 | 378 | 216 | 106 | 56 |
131 | I smell pumpkin spice. Who farted? | 1.5744 | 0.03944 | 383 | 230 | 86 | 67 |
132 | I'm instituting a new dental plan! | 1.5740 | 0.03700 | 392 | 224 | 111 | 57 |
133 | Jack was canned this morning. | 1.5714 | 0.03617 | 399 | 226 | 118 | 55 |
134 | Gentlemen, let me begin by stating the obvious: diversity is an issue amongst our ranks. | 1.5690 | 0.03939 | 348 | 201 | 96 | 51 |
135 | And I don't want to hear about any of you going out on Halloween and getting smashed. | 1.5682 | 0.03742 | 403 | 238 | 101 | 64 |
136 | Once again, this year’s Halloween costume contest has ended in a tie. | 1.5663 | 0.03597 | 392 | 221 | 120 | 51 |
137 | Instead of layoffs.. think of it as a changing of the gourd! | 1.5660 | 0.03770 | 371 | 213 | 106 | 52 |
138 | Effective November 1st, you are all terminated. | 1.5659 | 0.03766 | 364 | 207 | 108 | 49 |
139 | Team, my apologies, but we still don't have a dental plan. | 1.5646 | 0.03735 | 395 | 232 | 103 | 60 |
140 | What are you grinning about, Jack? | 1.5645 | 0.03783 | 349 | 196 | 109 | 44 |
141 | Let's face it, gentlemen. It's 2022. Jill o'Lanterns should be considered for the board. | 1.5642 | 0.03526 | 413 | 235 | 123 | 55 |
142 | Enough work for today, who is ready to get lit? | 1.5639 | 0.03860 | 360 | 209 | 99 | 52 |
143 | There’s pie in the break room | 1.5636 | 0.03629 | 385 | 218 | 117 | 50 |
144 | I may be smiling on the outside but - just like you - I feel empty on the inside | 1.5623 | 0.03947 | 345 | 201 | 94 | 50 |
145 | I want you to start calling me Jacqueline. | 1.5617 | 0.04098 | 324 | 190 | 86 | 48 |
146 | Our projections—let’s just say November doesn’t look good for us. | 1.5600 | 0.03899 | 325 | 183 | 102 | 40 |
147 | It's nice to be part of a board that isn't all-white. | 1.5600 | 0.03923 | 325 | 184 | 100 | 41 |
148 | You all knew November would come eventually. | 1.5595 | 0.03963 | 336 | 195 | 94 | 47 |
149 | I’m afraid we have to make more cuts. | 1.5549 | 0.03678 | 346 | 192 | 116 | 38 |
150 | Before we begin, a moment of silence for everyone we’ve lost to pumpkin spice lattes. | 1.5549 | 0.04085 | 328 | 195 | 84 | 49 |
151 | Not you, Jack, the other Jack. | 1.5545 | 0.03951 | 330 | 191 | 95 | 44 |
152 | Illuminate me. | 1.5545 | 0.03489 | 422 | 244 | 122 | 56 |
153 | Last quarter's results were frightening. So, obviously, some heads must roll. | 1.5542 | 0.03920 | 323 | 184 | 99 | 40 |
154 | Sorry to tell you this but I had to can Jack. | 1.5541 | 0.03783 | 370 | 217 | 101 | 52 |
155 | We need this meeting like we need another hole in our heads, but here goes.... | 1.5499 | 0.04044 | 351 | 215 | 79 | 57 |
156 | Let’s adjourn. We have to get out for some turkeys coming in next. | 1.5496 | 0.03781 | 373 | 221 | 99 | 53 |
157 | The holidays are right around the corner, so some of you will be canned. | 1.5493 | 0.03804 | 355 | 207 | 101 | 47 |
158 | C’mon, I gotta light a fire in you guys! | 1.5485 | 0.03977 | 330 | 194 | 91 | 45 |
159 | One of you is being investigated for in-cider trading. | 1.5477 | 0.04071 | 325 | 194 | 84 | 47 |
160 | My only rule for presentations is no pie charts | 1.5475 | 0.04376 | 305 | 189 | 65 | 51 |
161 | Let's break for pie. | 1.5472 | 0.03919 | 318 | 182 | 98 | 38 |
162 | Hate to say, but you're all about to be canned. | 1.5472 | 0.03778 | 371 | 220 | 99 | 52 |
163 | Don't make me get out the pie charts again. | 1.5449 | 0.04153 | 312 | 187 | 80 | 45 |
164 | Expect more cuts.” | 1.5444 | 0.03929 | 338 | 200 | 92 | 46 |
165 | I’m not happy. I’m just carved this way. | 1.5443 | 0.03863 | 327 | 188 | 100 | 39 |
166 | ...after the holidays more cuts will have to be made. | 1.5440 | 0.03944 | 307 | 175 | 97 | 35 |
167 | We’re gonna need you to start burning the candle at both ends. | 1.5435 | 0.03705 | 322 | 178 | 113 | 31 |
168 | I'm sorry to announce that October 31 will be your last day. | 1.5422 | 0.03850 | 367 | 222 | 91 | 54 |
169 | What can I do to light a fire in you guys? | 1.5417 | 0.04104 | 312 | 186 | 83 | 43 |
170 | Clearly, the diversity initiative isn't working. | 1.5414 | 0.04018 | 338 | 205 | 83 | 50 |
171 | Pumpkin spice this Pumpkin spice that, we need to get a piece of this action | 1.5410 | 0.03798 | 329 | 188 | 104 | 37 |
172 | Come November 1st, you'll all be canned. | 1.5407 | 0.04282 | 307 | 189 | 70 | 48 |
173 | Our future, gentlemen, is plastics. | 1.5402 | 0.04090 | 311 | 185 | 84 | 42 |
174 | If you're vaccinated, you don't have to wear a pumpkin. | 1.5401 | 0.04321 | 287 | 173 | 73 | 41 |
175 | I’ve decided it’s time to bring in some new faces. | 1.5377 | 0.04238 | 292 | 175 | 77 | 40 |
176 | You're looking at me like I'm out of my gourd. | 1.5375 | 0.04027 | 307 | 180 | 89 | 38 |
177 | Welcome to our new gourdroom! | 1.5370 | 0.04439 | 270 | 163 | 69 | 38 |
178 | We need to hollow out upper management before we're ALL canned! | 1.5363 | 0.04243 | 289 | 173 | 77 | 39 |
179 | Well,the good news is if we all put our heads together we can get almost a dozen pies. | 1.5358 | 0.03661 | 349 | 200 | 111 | 38 |
180 | I see you all got the memo. | 1.5344 | 0.04021 | 305 | 179 | 89 | 37 |
181 | Morning Jack, hey Jack, hi Jack, Jack, always good to see you. Jack, is that you I see down there? | 1.5333 | 0.04098 | 300 | 178 | 84 | 38 |
182 | Sorry gentlemen, we will be making some additional cuts | 1.5329 | 0.03981 | 289 | 165 | 94 | 30 |
183 | Any ideas about how to carve out a better image? | 1.5326 | 0.04250 | 291 | 176 | 75 | 40 |
184 | We're going to be making some cuts. | 1.5312 | 0.03900 | 288 | 162 | 99 | 27 |
185 | It's a simple choice. Either bring the pie or be the pie. | 1.5308 | 0.04440 | 260 | 156 | 70 | 34 |
186 | I see a lot of me in all of you. | 1.5304 | 0.03866 | 313 | 181 | 98 | 34 |
187 | Our next presentation will be a pie chart. | 1.5298 | 0.04238 | 302 | 186 | 72 | 44 |
188 | And I promise you, all of you will get a piece of the pie here | 1.5296 | 0.04248 | 253 | 145 | 82 | 26 |
189 | Its been a productive meeting, now, lets go out and get smashed! | 1.5282 | 0.04331 | 284 | 174 | 70 | 40 |
190 | Sponsoring a squash tournament is just right for our brand! | 1.5280 | 0.04396 | 250 | 147 | 74 | 29 |
191 | Where’s Jack? | 1.5268 | 0.04256 | 298 | 184 | 71 | 43 |
192 | They knew the risk. If you're not at the table, you're on the menu. | 1.5267 | 0.04189 | 281 | 167 | 80 | 34 |
193 | Why the long faces? You knew more cuts were coming. | 1.5265 | 0.04390 | 264 | 159 | 71 | 34 |
194 | Turns out "empty headed" isn't a compliment. | 1.5261 | 0.04590 | 249 | 152 | 63 | 34 |
195 | The good news is we've been acquired by Elon Musk. The bad news is that we're about to be canned. | 1.5260 | 0.04358 | 289 | 180 | 66 | 43 |
196 | What? Now we have to hire a Jill-O-Lantern? | 1.5258 | 0.04278 | 310 | 196 | 65 | 49 |
197 | I will be staying on with the company. The rest of you will be carved-out." | 1.5208 | 0.04456 | 240 | 142 | 71 | 27 |
198 | We're going to have to let most of you go come November 1st. | 1.5208 | 0.04495 | 240 | 143 | 69 | 28 |
199 | Some of you will be squashed, some of you will be souped up, some of you will be gouged out and some will shine like a beacon in a stormy night, but just remember, Pumpkin Inc is proud of you all and your service to the community. | 1.5206 | 0.03928 | 315 | 188 | 90 | 37 |
200 | Good news. We've hired a diversity consultant! | 1.5204 | 0.04022 | 294 | 174 | 87 | 33 |
201 | I don’t think anyone here has the guts! | 1.5182 | 0.04438 | 247 | 148 | 70 | 29 |
202 | It’s good to be back in the office. I couldn’t tell any of you apart on Zoom. | 1.5162 | 0.04476 | 277 | 176 | 59 | 42 |
203 | Thank you for carving out face time. | 1.5158 | 0.04322 | 285 | 178 | 67 | 40 |
204 | Whoever brought pumpkin pie to the last meeting—not funny. | 1.5154 | 0.04509 | 260 | 162 | 62 | 36 |
205 | In keeping with our corporate image, we've eliminated the dental plan... | 1.5146 | 0.04302 | 274 | 168 | 71 | 35 |
206 | With pumpkin pie season upon us, all employee life insurance policies will be terminated effective immediately. | 1.5144 | 0.04194 | 278 | 168 | 77 | 33 |
207 | One of you could not wait for “stemless” Friday. | 1.5142 | 0.04512 | 247 | 151 | 65 | 31 |
208 | Who here thinks they can be the new face of the company? | 1.5133 | 0.04445 | 226 | 132 | 72 | 22 |
209 | Heads will roll come November 1st. | 1.5131 | 0.04224 | 267 | 160 | 77 | 30 |
210 | We're going to be losing a lot of you this November. | 1.5128 | 0.04582 | 234 | 142 | 64 | 28 |
211 | The quarterlies are good, but some heads have to roll. | 1.5108 | 0.03906 | 278 | 160 | 94 | 24 |
212 | It’s just Jack Lantern now. I’m dropping the O. | 1.5105 | 0.04655 | 237 | 147 | 59 | 31 |
213 | Jack, we’ve heard enough from you and Jack today. Let’s give Jack the floor. | 1.5094 | 0.04191 | 267 | 160 | 78 | 29 |
214 | When I say, Go!, pass your head to the person on your right. | 1.5080 | 0.04613 | 250 | 158 | 57 | 35 |
215 | We need to act quickly here before we turn into compost. | 1.5076 | 0.04052 | 264 | 154 | 86 | 24 |
216 | I really appreciate everyone carving out time for this meeting | 1.5063 | 0.04460 | 237 | 143 | 68 | 26 |
217 | It looks like we have some new faces. | 1.5058 | 0.04380 | 257 | 158 | 68 | 31 |
218 | It’s come to my attention we need a better dental plan | 1.5058 | 0.04584 | 257 | 164 | 56 | 37 |
219 | You’ll be relieved to know that Peter is no longer with the company. | 1.5056 | 0.04637 | 267 | 175 | 49 | 43 |
220 | I regret to inform you that we’re gonna need to make some cuts | 1.5045 | 0.04563 | 224 | 135 | 65 | 24 |
221 | The company needs to bring in some fresh faces. | 1.5040 | 0.04136 | 250 | 146 | 82 | 22 |
222 | You heard me correctly. Heads. Will. Roll. | 1.5040 | 0.04508 | 250 | 156 | 62 | 32 |
223 | I just want the person who pinned the pumpkin pie recipe to my office door to know I don't think it was funny. | 1.5020 | 0.04537 | 253 | 160 | 59 | 34 |
224 | Stay indoors with your doors locked and we will reconvene on November 1st. | 1.5018 | 0.04100 | 281 | 171 | 79 | 31 |
225 | Let's hear from Jack. | 1.5000 | 0.04314 | 248 | 150 | 72 | 26 |
226 | Don't look so glum. We've survived another Halloween. | 1.5000 | 0.04951 | 206 | 129 | 51 | 26 |
227 | Bad news, we terminated Jerry. Good news, there'll be pumpkin pie at lunch! | 1.5000 | 0.04735 | 224 | 140 | 56 | 28 |
228 | I see you're all cut out for this job. | 1.5000 | 0.04436 | 250 | 155 | 65 | 30 |
229 | Welcome to our anual meeting. It’s great to see so many familiar faces here again. | 1.5000 | 0.04594 | 216 | 130 | 64 | 22 |
230 | We have a diversity problem. | 1.4980 | 0.04387 | 251 | 155 | 67 | 29 |
231 | Thanks for leaving your patches on such short notice. | 1.4979 | 0.04364 | 235 | 141 | 71 | 23 |
232 | Corporate's looking for some new faces | 1.4978 | 0.04404 | 229 | 137 | 70 | 22 |
233 | There's no easy way to say this, but you're all getting canned! | 1.4978 | 0.04793 | 223 | 141 | 53 | 29 |
234 | Once again, I direct your attention to the pie chart behind me. | 1.4976 | 0.04673 | 211 | 128 | 61 | 22 |
235 | All in favor of removing the mask mandate, say 'aye'. | 1.4976 | 0.04850 | 209 | 130 | 54 | 25 |
236 | Back when I started this company, we used to have guts. | 1.4962 | 0.04458 | 264 | 169 | 59 | 36 |
237 | We finally have a dental plan. | 1.4938 | 0.04494 | 243 | 152 | 62 | 29 |
238 | Good morning gentlemen. The first topic will be a report on the company's Cultural Diversity campaign. | 1.4938 | 0.04286 | 241 | 145 | 73 | 23 |
239 | Sooo....our diversity numbers aren't great." | 1.4928 | 0.04606 | 209 | 126 | 63 | 20 |
240 | First, I'm sure we all agree that we've been through a rough patch." | 1.4917 | 0.04273 | 242 | 146 | 73 | 23 |
241 | Welcome to our first seminar on the importance of diversity in the workplace. | 1.4913 | 0.04433 | 230 | 140 | 67 | 23 |
242 | Some of you won’t be returning after the holidays. | 1.4911 | 0.04606 | 224 | 139 | 60 | 25 |
243 | Gentlemen I regret to inform you that on October 31st,heads are going to roll. | 1.4910 | 0.04976 | 222 | 146 | 43 | 33 |
244 | You will all be glad to hear that we have decided to terminate Peter Peter. | 1.4909 | 0.05011 | 220 | 145 | 42 | 33 |
245 | Let‘s talk about diversity in the workplace… | 1.4906 | 0.04798 | 212 | 133 | 54 | 25 |
246 | Most of you won’t even be here a month from now. | 1.4906 | 0.04656 | 212 | 130 | 60 | 22 |
247 | Unfortunately, most of you will not make it to the next quarter. | 1.4897 | 0.04642 | 243 | 157 | 53 | 33 |
248 | HR says we have a diversity problem. | 1.4890 | 0.04687 | 227 | 144 | 55 | 28 |
249 | Thank you all for carving out time to be here. | 1.4885 | 0.04624 | 217 | 134 | 60 | 23 |
250 | This October board meeting will be our last one . | 1.4865 | 0.04766 | 222 | 142 | 52 | 28 |
251 | Are we in agreement - no further cuts ? | 1.4865 | 0.04548 | 222 | 137 | 62 | 23 |
252 | Yes, candles. | 1.4864 | 0.04799 | 220 | 141 | 51 | 28 |
253 | The rumors are true, our first Jill o Lantern diversity hire starts on Monday. | 1.4861 | 0.04450 | 216 | 130 | 67 | 19 |
254 | Thank you for carving out some time to meet today | 1.4858 | 0.04509 | 212 | 128 | 65 | 19 |
255 | Whatsay after this meeting we all go get smashed? | 1.4854 | 0.04901 | 206 | 131 | 50 | 25 |
256 | You'll be glad to know that your new health insurance covers dental! | 1.4852 | 0.04578 | 237 | 151 | 57 | 29 |
257 | HR has said that we need more diversity. | 1.4846 | 0.04687 | 227 | 145 | 54 | 28 |
258 | Please carve a happy face when we meet with our investors next week. | 1.4845 | 0.05128 | 194 | 125 | 44 | 25 |
259 | Who’s the soon to be former employee that ordered the pumpkin lattes? | 1.4837 | 0.05282 | 184 | 119 | 41 | 24 |
260 | I’m bringing in a new consultant named Peter. | 1.4837 | 0.05111 | 184 | 116 | 47 | 21 |
261 | Well gents, times are changing. Looks like the public really wants a JILL O’Lantern. | 1.4837 | 0.05226 | 184 | 118 | 43 | 23 |
262 | We will no longer be using pie charts. | 1.4836 | 0.04917 | 213 | 138 | 47 | 28 |
263 | We're transferring some of you to the pie division. | 1.4834 | 0.04671 | 211 | 131 | 58 | 22 |
264 | I'm worried that many of you are suffering from burnout." | 1.4833 | 0.04896 | 209 | 134 | 49 | 26 |
265 | Okay, It's agreed. Peter Peter won't be allowed on the Board. | 1.4829 | 0.05156 | 205 | 136 | 39 | 30 |
266 | Unfortunately our facial recognition system wasn’t able to detect the culprit | 1.4829 | 0.05015 | 205 | 133 | 45 | 27 |
267 | Now that the numbers are in, Jason, could you show us your pie chart? | 1.4823 | 0.04488 | 226 | 140 | 63 | 23 |
268 | Sorry, but it looks like we're going to have to make further cuts | 1.4821 | 0.05003 | 195 | 124 | 48 | 23 |
269 | The new raises should put a smile on all your faces!!! | 1.4818 | 0.04392 | 220 | 133 | 68 | 19 |
270 | I’ve been informed the curse will end when we stop making pumpkin spice products. | 1.4815 | 0.04909 | 216 | 141 | 46 | 29 |
271 | I've decided to let you all go on November 1st | 1.4813 | 0.04623 | 214 | 133 | 59 | 22 |
272 | You don't know Jack. | 1.4802 | 0.04880 | 177 | 107 | 55 | 15 |
273 | I'm sure you're all wondering why I'm the only one carved with a smile. | 1.4800 | 0.04502 | 225 | 140 | 62 | 23 |
274 | We're cutting dental | 1.4796 | 0.05087 | 196 | 127 | 44 | 25 |
275 | O k, it's decided. Turkey, cranberries, mashed potatoes and stuffing for dinner. Now I need some volunteers for the pie. | 1.4793 | 0.04804 | 217 | 140 | 50 | 27 |
276 | Next on the agenda; I’ve prepared a pie chart. | 1.4791 | 0.04746 | 215 | 137 | 53 | 25 |
277 | We finally got dental coverage! | 1.4790 | 0.04562 | 238 | 153 | 56 | 29 |
278 | We had a very good quarter. Each one of you will get to be a piece of the pie. | 1.4789 | 0.04343 | 213 | 127 | 70 | 16 |
279 | I’m concerned about this Peter Peter fellow. | 1.4787 | 0.05042 | 211 | 140 | 41 | 30 |
280 | I think I've finally carved out a plan that will squash our competition." | 1.4785 | 0.05126 | 186 | 119 | 45 | 22 |
281 | I’m going to need you to carve out some time this weekend. | 1.4780 | 0.04770 | 205 | 129 | 54 | 22 |
282 | The good news is, we’ve been bought out by Apple. | 1.4780 | 0.05092 | 182 | 115 | 47 | 20 |
283 | The way things are going we'll all be gone by the end of the month | 1.4767 | 0.05250 | 193 | 128 | 38 | 27 |
284 | Will the stemless member please leave the meeting? | 1.4764 | 0.04702 | 212 | 134 | 55 | 23 |
285 | I'm afraid many of us won't be here next month. | 1.4760 | 0.04313 | 229 | 140 | 69 | 20 |
286 | Peter Peter will be conducting your year-end reviews. | 1.4752 | 0.04922 | 202 | 130 | 48 | 24 |
287 | The next one who says 'you don't know Jack" will be fired." | 1.4742 | 0.04916 | 213 | 140 | 45 | 28 |
288 | There have been absurd charges that this boardroom lacks diversity. | 1.4741 | 0.04649 | 232 | 151 | 52 | 29 |
289 | But good news is that in about a month, none of us are going to care much anyway. | 1.4740 | 0.05166 | 192 | 126 | 41 | 25 |
290 | So it looks like we are going to have to make some additional cuts. | 1.4737 | 0.04929 | 171 | 104 | 53 | 14 |
291 | We are not downsizing, we are “composting”. | 1.4734 | 0.04784 | 207 | 132 | 52 | 23 |
292 | Elon will be replacing me with a musk melon. | 1.4734 | 0.04929 | 207 | 135 | 46 | 26 |
293 | Take away the big chair and the permanent smile and I'm no different than any of you. | 1.4734 | 0.05249 | 188 | 124 | 39 | 25 |
294 | I don't see that fire in some of your eyes anymore.. | 1.4723 | 0.04644 | 235 | 154 | 51 | 30 |
295 | We’ll keep brainstorming until a light goes on in one of our heads. | 1.4721 | 0.04804 | 197 | 124 | 53 | 20 |
296 | So who wants to begin? Jack? | 1.4712 | 0.04516 | 208 | 128 | 62 | 18 |
297 | Gentlemen, light your candles. | 1.4703 | 0.04850 | 185 | 115 | 53 | 17 |
298 | Per your request, Peter Peter was not invited to this meeting. | 1.4693 | 0.05390 | 179 | 119 | 36 | 24 |
299 | I’m afraid we have to make a few more cuts | 1.4692 | 0.04668 | 211 | 134 | 55 | 22 |
300 | You do know, orthodontics is part of our health plan. | 1.4672 | 0.06288 | 122 | 79 | 29 | 14 |
301 | These are just seasonal cuts | 1.4670 | 0.04581 | 197 | 121 | 60 | 16 |
302 | I bet he wishes he hadn’t worn his smile head today. | 1.4667 | 0.04485 | 210 | 130 | 62 | 18 |
303 | What happened to the fire in your eyes? | 1.4653 | 0.04555 | 202 | 125 | 60 | 17 |
304 | There’s no easy way to say this. You’re all headed for the compost pile. | 1.4652 | 0.04930 | 187 | 119 | 49 | 19 |
305 | I call this gourd-of-directors meeting to order. | 1.4650 | 0.04956 | 200 | 131 | 45 | 24 |
306 | Unfortunately, recent political polls tell us the average American is sick of seeing orange men in office | 1.4648 | 0.05133 | 213 | 147 | 33 | 33 |
307 | The board think we have no guts | 1.4645 | 0.04762 | 183 | 113 | 55 | 15 |
308 | He talks to us as if we’re all empty-headed here | 1.4630 | 0.05264 | 162 | 103 | 43 | 16 |
309 | As you can see from the pie chart, our days are numbered. | 1.4628 | 0.05024 | 188 | 122 | 45 | 21 |
310 | Here's the scoop, some of you are not cut out to work here. | 1.4611 | 0.05297 | 193 | 132 | 33 | 28 |
311 | Our market research confirms that orange is the new black. | 1.4611 | 0.05188 | 180 | 118 | 41 | 21 |
312 | Good news! I’ve been named chairman of the gourd. | 1.4602 | 0.05214 | 176 | 115 | 41 | 20 |
313 | I know work-life balance is difficult this time of year… | 1.4602 | 0.05151 | 176 | 114 | 43 | 19 |
314 | Starting November 1st, some of you may be transferring to our pie department. | 1.4602 | 0.04654 | 226 | 149 | 50 | 27 |
315 | Don't take it personally, every fall pretty much everyone gets canned. | 1.4601 | 0.04727 | 213 | 139 | 50 | 24 |
316 | Hey you! You, without your stem. This is NOT casual Friday. | 1.4597 | 0.04854 | 211 | 140 | 45 | 26 |
317 | Nobody is smiling. I’m gonna have to make some cuts. | 1.4595 | 0.05253 | 185 | 124 | 37 | 24 |
318 | So after Stan’s unfortunate incident last year, can we agree no candles this year? | 1.4595 | 0.04846 | 185 | 117 | 51 | 17 |
319 | Alright people, it’s time to start using our heads. | 1.4586 | 0.05307 | 157 | 100 | 42 | 15 |
320 | I didn't see any of your eyes light up at my last proposal! | 1.4581 | 0.05024 | 179 | 115 | 46 | 18 |
321 | I’m afraid we’re going to need to make some additional cuts. | 1.4577 | 0.04402 | 201 | 123 | 64 | 14 |
322 | A recent forecast suggests we are entering a bad patch. | 1.4573 | 0.04816 | 199 | 129 | 49 | 21 |
323 | I thought we agreed to all carve a smile... | 1.4571 | 0.04581 | 210 | 134 | 56 | 20 |
324 | Any thoughts on the Pie Chart? | 1.4571 | 0.05107 | 175 | 113 | 44 | 18 |
325 | Oh come on fellas, one latte doesn’t make us cannibals. | 1.4566 | 0.04951 | 173 | 109 | 49 | 15 |
326 | I want to hear from Jack next | 1.4561 | 0.05194 | 171 | 111 | 42 | 18 |
327 | Thank you for carving out some time for me. | 1.4554 | 0.04583 | 213 | 137 | 55 | 21 |
328 | Today's topic is Diversity and Inclusion. Any thoughts? | 1.4545 | 0.04890 | 176 | 111 | 50 | 15 |
329 | Listen fellas, it’s 2022; if we wanna avoid lawsuits, you’re gonna have stop calling everyone in the office “pumpkin.” | 1.4545 | 0.05191 | 165 | 106 | 43 | 16 |
330 | Thanks for carving out time to be here today. | 1.4545 | 0.05331 | 165 | 108 | 39 | 18 |
331 | It appears that you're not happy with the pie chart results. | 1.4541 | 0.04777 | 207 | 136 | 48 | 23 |
332 | Okay, which one of you is wearing the Old Spice? | 1.4536 | 0.04625 | 194 | 122 | 56 | 16 |
333 | Does anyone else feel like we have a diversity problem? | 1.4528 | 0.04880 | 212 | 143 | 42 | 27 |
334 | Show them the pie chart, Gary | 1.4528 | 0.04338 | 254 | 168 | 57 | 29 |
335 | I'm sorry, but we're looking for employees with some guts. | 1.4524 | 0.05459 | 168 | 113 | 34 | 21 |
336 | Shareholders are complaining about the lack of diversity on the board. | 1.4506 | 0.05184 | 162 | 104 | 43 | 15 |
337 | Let's begin by taking roll. Jack? | 1.4503 | 0.05191 | 171 | 112 | 41 | 18 |
338 | So, who's going to donate their seed for next year’s crop? | 1.4500 | 0.05062 | 180 | 118 | 43 | 19 |
339 | Of course,none of us want to see this company carved up. | 1.4500 | 0.04580 | 200 | 127 | 56 | 17 |
340 | I got where I am by carving out a niche for myself. | 1.4494 | 0.05647 | 158 | 107 | 31 | 20 |
341 | At this law firm, we value diversity. | 1.4492 | 0.04804 | 187 | 120 | 50 | 17 |
342 | If sales don’t pick up this quarter, heads are gonna roll. | 1.4486 | 0.05192 | 185 | 125 | 37 | 23 |
343 | Quick... some brainstorming before our brains turn to mush | 1.4486 | 0.05304 | 185 | 127 | 33 | 25 |
344 | Gentlemen, orange is the new black. | 1.4483 | 0.05948 | 145 | 99 | 27 | 19 |
345 | Your performance this Halloween will be reflected in Thanksgiving’s pie chart. | 1.4477 | 0.05101 | 172 | 112 | 43 | 17 |
346 | Gentlemen, I have a smashing idea!! | 1.4471 | 0.05472 | 170 | 116 | 32 | 22 |
347 | As for the Holiday party I've booked The Smashing Pumpkins! | 1.4471 | 0.05343 | 170 | 114 | 36 | 20 |
348 | Not one of you has what it takes inside. | 1.4467 | 0.04793 | 197 | 129 | 48 | 20 |
349 | I think a little diversity is in order. | 1.4466 | 0.04537 | 206 | 132 | 56 | 18 |
350 | Why am I the only one smiling? | 1.4464 | 0.05521 | 168 | 115 | 31 | 22 |
351 | Thank you for attending our company’s annual meeting on diversity and inclusion. | 1.4462 | 0.04998 | 186 | 123 | 43 | 20 |
352 | I look around this room and I don’t see a single one of you with any GUTS! | 1.4452 | 0.05579 | 155 | 104 | 33 | 18 |
353 | Alright…Jack, why don’t you start. | 1.4451 | 0.05136 | 164 | 106 | 43 | 15 |
354 | Yes, I think it’s fair to say that being bought out by Mrs. Smith’s Pies constitutes a hostile takeover. | 1.4451 | 0.05078 | 173 | 113 | 43 | 17 |
355 | Go ahead, Jack. | 1.4451 | 0.04806 | 173 | 109 | 51 | 13 |
356 | The good news is our communications department wants a lot more pie charts.... | 1.4444 | 0.04844 | 171 | 108 | 50 | 13 |
357 | A lot of you are going to be out on the curb by the beginning of next month. | 1.4444 | 0.04997 | 180 | 118 | 44 | 18 |
358 | I'm afraid our only option is to make more cuts. | 1.4444 | 0.04584 | 189 | 119 | 56 | 14 |
359 | I’m the CEO, so I get the eight-figure compensation package and the smiley face. | 1.4444 | 0.05187 | 171 | 113 | 40 | 18 |
360 | So in summary, profit sharing is a tasty way for everyone to get a piece of the pie. Err, let me rephrase that… | 1.4439 | 0.04740 | 187 | 120 | 51 | 16 |
361 | I’m afraid we will be moving forward with a skeleton crew. | 1.4432 | 0.04652 | 185 | 117 | 54 | 14 |
362 | Heads are going to roll on November 1st. | 1.4432 | 0.05074 | 185 | 124 | 40 | 21 |
363 | Well, it's pumpkin-spice everything month, so some heads are gonna' roll! | 1.4419 | 0.04607 | 172 | 106 | 56 | 10 |
364 | And I still haven't brought out the pie chart. | 1.4417 | 0.04738 | 206 | 137 | 47 | 22 |
365 | Why am I smiling, you ask? Well, let's just say that Peter Peter finally got what was coming to him . . . | 1.4417 | 0.05082 | 163 | 105 | 44 | 14 |
366 | Yes, I am an optimist. I was carved this way. | 1.4414 | 0.05696 | 145 | 97 | 32 | 16 |
367 | Are you out of your gourds? | 1.4412 | 0.05140 | 170 | 112 | 41 | 17 |
368 | This explains why I found a stem under my wife's pillow. | 1.4410 | 0.05201 | 161 | 105 | 41 | 15 |
369 | You can expect layoffs to come November 1 | 1.4410 | 0.05421 | 161 | 108 | 35 | 18 |
370 | I'm not seeing the fire in any of your eyes. | 1.4403 | 0.05015 | 159 | 101 | 46 | 12 |
371 | You will all want to look at the pie chart - | 1.4400 | 0.04944 | 200 | 136 | 40 | 24 |
372 | Pass the knife, I need to change my mood | 1.4396 | 0.05015 | 182 | 121 | 42 | 19 |
373 | Over to you, Jack. | 1.4390 | 0.05204 | 164 | 108 | 40 | 16 |
374 | so we finally got a contract with starbucks | 1.4387 | 0.05499 | 155 | 104 | 34 | 17 |
375 | For the next item, I need to pick your brains. | 1.4383 | 0.04949 | 162 | 103 | 47 | 12 |
376 | And then she said "Bippity boppity boo" and next thing I know it's morning and I'm sitting on the side of the road! | 1.4383 | 0.05176 | 162 | 106 | 41 | 15 |
377 | No more PIE charts! If I have to say it one more time, heads will roll! | 1.4382 | 0.05280 | 178 | 122 | 34 | 22 |
378 | Gentlemen, please go home, grab a knife, and turn those frowns into smiles. | 1.4381 | 0.04950 | 194 | 131 | 41 | 22 |
379 | We need more diversity. Get Mr. Potato Head. | 1.4379 | 0.05149 | 153 | 98 | 43 | 12 |
380 | Gentlemen, we’ve been directed to carve out space for more diversity. | 1.4378 | 0.04711 | 185 | 119 | 51 | 15 |
381 | The good news is we're going to start selling pies. The bad news is we're a little short of ingredients. | 1.4378 | 0.05186 | 185 | 127 | 35 | 23 |
382 | Anyone care to enlighten me? | 1.4378 | 0.04648 | 185 | 118 | 53 | 14 |
383 | The Board's going to look very different by Thanksgiving. | 1.4371 | 0.04844 | 151 | 93 | 50 | 8 |
384 | Do you mean Jack in accounting or Jack in marketing? | 1.4370 | 0.05624 | 135 | 88 | 35 | 12 |
385 | Let’s see some pie charts. | 1.4370 | 0.05525 | 135 | 87 | 37 | 11 |
386 | Triangles? That’s your big idea?” | 1.4368 | 0.05308 | 174 | 119 | 34 | 21 |
387 | As part of the company's new diversity initiative, the board is bringing in a cucumber and two types of melon. | 1.4367 | 0.05345 | 158 | 105 | 37 | 16 |
388 | Who wants to get lit? | 1.4365 | 0.05093 | 181 | 122 | 39 | 20 |
389 | So it's unanimous, then. | 1.4360 | 0.04889 | 172 | 111 | 47 | 14 |
390 | Sorry to inform you, but heads are gonna roll | 1.4350 | 0.05052 | 177 | 118 | 41 | 18 |
391 | This board has been criticized as empty-headed. | 1.4337 | 0.04937 | 166 | 107 | 46 | 13 |
392 | OK, this next one will make you laugh. | 1.4333 | 0.04799 | 180 | 117 | 48 | 15 |
393 | If profits don't increase by late October, heads will roll. | 1.4326 | 0.05355 | 141 | 91 | 39 | 11 |
394 | And with the introduction of pumpkin spice gefilte fish, our infiltration into cultural domination is now complete. | 1.4326 | 0.05092 | 178 | 120 | 39 | 19 |
395 | Some of you won’t make it to Christmas. | 1.4326 | 0.04966 | 178 | 118 | 43 | 17 |
396 | I don’t see the flicker of creativity in any of you! | 1.4322 | 0.04473 | 199 | 128 | 56 | 15 |
397 | That's not a pie chart - it's Ralph from Accounting. | 1.4308 | 0.05772 | 130 | 86 | 32 | 12 |
398 | The company has been sold to Cantaloupes Inc., and none of you will be needed going forward. | 1.4304 | 0.05340 | 158 | 106 | 36 | 16 |
399 | So to summarize, 11 coffees with pupkin spice. | 1.4304 | 0.05108 | 158 | 103 | 42 | 13 |
400 | The good news is you’ll all be going to this year’s stockholders’ banquet. The bad news is you’ll be going as pies. | 1.4302 | 0.05221 | 172 | 117 | 36 | 19 |
401 | Before we begin, I want us to take a moment to remember those of us lost to squirrels this week | 1.4296 | 0.05715 | 135 | 90 | 32 | 13 |
402 | We must squash the competition. | 1.4295 | 0.05492 | 149 | 100 | 34 | 15 |
403 | Thanks for carving out the time to be here today | 1.4295 | 0.05688 | 156 | 109 | 27 | 20 |
404 | Are we going to trick or treat the investors this year? | 1.4294 | 0.04438 | 177 | 110 | 58 | 9 |
405 | So many frowns. Am I the only one cut out for this work? | 1.4286 | 0.04819 | 168 | 108 | 48 | 12 |
406 | We realize the pie chart may be triggering for some of you | 1.4278 | 0.05047 | 180 | 122 | 39 | 19 |
407 | There’s bad news about the dental plan. | 1.4277 | 0.05238 | 159 | 106 | 38 | 15 |
408 | We are definitely not getting smashed after we adjourn. | 1.4276 | 0.05338 | 145 | 95 | 38 | 12 |
409 | Jack -- I need you and Jack to finalize the details with Jack and Jack by the end of the week. | 1.4275 | 0.05738 | 131 | 87 | 32 | 12 |
410 | Looks like one of us was happy with our bonus. | 1.4268 | 0.05437 | 157 | 107 | 33 | 17 |
411 | If they hadn’t scooped my brains out , I’d remember why I called this meeting. | 1.4266 | 0.05389 | 143 | 94 | 37 | 12 |
412 | I’m afraid we’ll have to make some more cuts | 1.4265 | 0.04607 | 204 | 136 | 49 | 19 |
413 | I guess you didn't get the stem memo, Roberts? | 1.4264 | 0.06204 | 129 | 90 | 23 | 16 |
414 | I would like to see more smiling faces around this table. | 1.4259 | 0.04781 | 162 | 103 | 49 | 10 |
415 | We’re closing our doors. I’m sorry, it looks like we’ll all be out on the street tonight. | 1.4259 | 0.04939 | 162 | 105 | 45 | 12 |
416 | Remember our motto - The darker it gets, the brighter we will shine. | 1.4259 | 0.05240 | 162 | 109 | 37 | 16 |
417 | I'm afraid we've spooked the markets. | 1.4238 | 0.05011 | 151 | 97 | 44 | 10 |
418 | So, how do we make having a big, orange head acceptable again? | 1.4228 | 0.05232 | 149 | 98 | 39 | 12 |
419 | For the tenth time, Johnson, we have no plans to offer dental coverage. | 1.4228 | 0.05568 | 149 | 102 | 31 | 16 |
420 | Good, everyone got the memo. | 1.4222 | 0.04658 | 180 | 117 | 50 | 13 |
421 | Let’s not lose our heads here. | 1.4218 | 0.05368 | 147 | 98 | 36 | 13 |
422 | With the gourds approval lets use the profits for seed money. | 1.4214 | 0.05155 | 159 | 106 | 39 | 14 |
423 | I've got some Smashing news... | 1.4207 | 0.05260 | 164 | 112 | 35 | 17 |
424 | It's normal to feel a bit hollowed out this time of year. | 1.4207 | 0.05148 | 145 | 94 | 41 | 10 |
425 | About that Dental Plan | 1.4207 | 0.05679 | 145 | 100 | 29 | 16 |
426 | O.K., show of hands. How many of you are planning to get smashed at the office party? | 1.4205 | 0.05125 | 176 | 121 | 36 | 19 |
427 | Of course we’re spooking investors, that’s the point | 1.4201 | 0.05007 | 169 | 113 | 41 | 15 |
428 | Relax. It's just an expression. No heads are going to roll today. | 1.4201 | 0.04717 | 169 | 109 | 49 | 11 |
429 | Let’s all get lit tonight! | 1.4199 | 0.05080 | 181 | 125 | 36 | 20 |
430 | Gentlemen, there's more than one way to get a head. | 1.4194 | 0.05086 | 155 | 102 | 41 | 12 |
431 | "Seed money for this initiative will be supplied by the head of each department." | 1.4191 | 0.05769 | 136 | 93 | 29 | 14 |
432 | In the interest of morale, I'll explain the budget cuts without using pie charts. | 1.4190 | 0.04934 | 179 | 121 | 41 | 17 |
433 | We're thinking like potatoes, not the pumpkins we are | 1.4189 | 0.05509 | 148 | 101 | 32 | 15 |
434 | Good news: we now offer dental. | 1.4189 | 0.05164 | 148 | 97 | 40 | 11 |
435 | Cheer up boys, and put on your happy face! | 1.4184 | 0.05341 | 141 | 93 | 37 | 11 |
436 | Anyone getting lit this weekend? Ha ha ha | 1.4182 | 0.05374 | 165 | 115 | 31 | 19 |
437 | Guys, get your head in the game here! It’s like lights are on but nobody’s home. | 1.4179 | 0.05927 | 134 | 93 | 26 | 15 |
438 | And to celebrate the great season we’ve had we’re all going to get lit up and smashed | 1.4177 | 0.04853 | 158 | 102 | 46 | 10 |
439 | You guys are just not cut out for this type of work. | 1.4172 | 0.04831 | 163 | 106 | 46 | 11 |
440 | I think we should go back to the K95’s. | 1.4167 | 0.05488 | 132 | 87 | 35 | 10 |
441 | We need a new pronoun. | 1.4167 | 0.05895 | 132 | 91 | 27 | 14 |
442 | We need to make our products less seasonal. | 1.4167 | 0.05531 | 144 | 98 | 32 | 14 |
443 | There’s no easy way to say this, but in about a month this entire board will be liquidated. | 1.4167 | 0.05168 | 144 | 94 | 40 | 10 |
444 | Starbucks has shifted to cinnamon spice! | 1.4156 | 0.05349 | 154 | 105 | 34 | 15 |
445 | I wish I had brighter ideas but they carved my brains out | 1.4156 | 0.04936 | 154 | 100 | 44 | 10 |
446 | well it's that time of year.....let's talk about our dental plan | 1.4154 | 0.05756 | 130 | 88 | 30 | 12 |
447 | Next week there will be pie in the break room. | 1.4154 | 0.06157 | 130 | 92 | 22 | 16 |
448 | Gentlemen, we’re not leaving this room until we carve out a better solution. | 1.4150 | 0.05184 | 147 | 97 | 39 | 11 |
449 | And finally, we will be disposing of the entire board effective November 1st. | 1.4146 | 0.04962 | 164 | 109 | 42 | 13 |
450 | - "Now don't look so spooked, we always make some cuts this time of the year" | 1.4146 | 0.06101 | 123 | 85 | 25 | 13 |
451 | Okay, anyone here not named Jack? | 1.4145 | 0.05479 | 152 | 105 | 31 | 16 |
452 | From now on you will all report to that Peter-Peter, something-or- other fellow in accounting. | 1.4143 | 0.05643 | 140 | 96 | 30 | 14 |
453 | Apple-cinnamon is starting to cut into our market share | 1.4140 | 0.05035 | 157 | 104 | 41 | 12 |
454 | On the plus side, we'll all be rotten by the election. | 1.4138 | 0.04965 | 174 | 118 | 40 | 16 |
455 | We have to diversify. We can’t just be about pumpkins anymore. | 1.4138 | 0.05323 | 145 | 97 | 36 | 12 |
456 | Now it’s time to light up. | 1.4133 | 0.04675 | 196 | 133 | 45 | 18 |
457 | Not all pumpkins are carved for upper management, I'm afraid. | 1.4129 | 0.05241 | 155 | 105 | 36 | 14 |
458 | I'll be working from home next Monday | 1.4125 | 0.05199 | 160 | 109 | 36 | 15 |
459 | When I peeked in the shareholders' conference room, they were looking at pie charts. | 1.4124 | 0.04770 | 177 | 118 | 45 | 14 |
460 | Who's up for a game of squash? | 1.4118 | 0.05207 | 153 | 103 | 37 | 13 |
461 | I can tell by looking around the table that our return-to-office policy isn’t popular. | 1.4118 | 0.05855 | 136 | 95 | 26 | 15 |
462 | Well, we all knew we’d have to make some tough decisions come November 1st. | 1.4114 | 0.05168 | 158 | 107 | 37 | 14 |
463 | I carved my way to the top | 1.4113 | 0.05700 | 141 | 98 | 28 | 15 |
464 | Our brains , our guts , when did we lose them? | 1.4110 | 0.05886 | 146 | 105 | 22 | 19 |
465 | Im going to get lit. Want to join me ? | 1.4109 | 0.05678 | 129 | 87 | 31 | 11 |
466 | All in favor of dental insurance, say "Aye"! | 1.4109 | 0.05887 | 129 | 89 | 27 | 13 |
467 | Heads won't roll, but they will get smashed. | 1.4104 | 0.05823 | 134 | 93 | 27 | 14 |
468 | We face new challenges on the latte front. | 1.4103 | 0.04887 | 156 | 102 | 44 | 10 |
469 | I’ve just got to run this by our gourd of directors. | 1.4101 | 0.05086 | 139 | 90 | 41 | 8 |
470 | At the end of the quarter we'll all be thrown out. | 1.4094 | 0.05217 | 149 | 100 | 37 | 12 |
471 | We’re here to discuss the ‘Peter, Peter’ problem. | 1.4094 | 0.05304 | 149 | 101 | 35 | 13 |
472 | No more empty headed ideas | 1.4094 | 0.04741 | 171 | 113 | 46 | 12 |
473 | These mask mandates are getting out of hand | 1.4091 | 0.05342 | 154 | 106 | 33 | 15 |
474 | I think it is time to light a fire in you all. | 1.4076 | 0.05419 | 157 | 110 | 30 | 17 |
475 | I'm proud to announce that the company has officially named me Chairman of the Gourd! | 1.4076 | 0.05028 | 157 | 105 | 40 | 12 |
476 | Prepare to wear a turkey on your head at next month's meeting. | 1.4076 | 0.05108 | 157 | 106 | 38 | 13 |
477 | I'm sorry, you all can't have Halloween off !! | 1.4071 | 0.05258 | 140 | 93 | 37 | 10 |
478 | Can we all carve out some time tomorrow? | 1.4069 | 0.05225 | 145 | 97 | 37 | 11 |
479 | As the new Gourd Chairman, my goal is to squash the competition. | 1.4065 | 0.05981 | 123 | 85 | 26 | 12 |
480 | Our meetings need a little spice. | 1.4065 | 0.04988 | 155 | 103 | 41 | 11 |
481 | Human Resources says I've been slow to address diversity. | 1.4062 | 0.06018 | 128 | 90 | 24 | 14 |
482 | Come on now, who's got that ol' fire in the belly? | 1.4062 | 0.05915 | 128 | 89 | 26 | 13 |
483 | So I've been hearing some grumblings about our new employee, Peter Peter | 1.4062 | 0.05268 | 160 | 111 | 33 | 16 |
484 | I'm glad to see that everyone got the memo. | 1.4060 | 0.05652 | 133 | 91 | 30 | 12 |
485 | ...and now...the dental plan | 1.4056 | 0.05547 | 143 | 99 | 30 | 14 |
486 | First, the bad news: Jack is no longer with us. Next, the good news: We all get a piece of the pie. | 1.4052 | 0.05674 | 153 | 110 | 24 | 19 |
487 | We need a business plan by Halloween or heads will roll. | 1.4051 | 0.05161 | 158 | 108 | 36 | 14 |
488 | And this year, let's try not to lose our heads. | 1.4048 | 0.05012 | 168 | 115 | 38 | 15 |
489 | I'm so happy you could all carve out time to be here today | 1.4048 | 0.05654 | 126 | 85 | 31 | 10 |
490 | Next on the agenda: November layoffs. | 1.4048 | 0.05541 | 126 | 84 | 33 | 9 |
491 | Who roasted the seed capital? | 1.4048 | 0.05875 | 126 | 87 | 27 | 12 |
492 | We need to face the fact that our previous cuts were not enough. | 1.4046 | 0.05608 | 131 | 89 | 31 | 11 |
493 | The vote is 6 to 5. ‘Trick’ it is. | 1.4044 | 0.05360 | 136 | 91 | 35 | 10 |
494 | And with the introduction of the pumpkin spice enema, our domination of the consumer marketplace shall be complete. | 1.4043 | 0.05419 | 141 | 96 | 33 | 12 |
495 | Let's squash that idea. | 1.4043 | 0.05228 | 141 | 94 | 37 | 10 |
496 | The pies have it | 1.4038 | 0.04574 | 208 | 144 | 44 | 20 |
497 | When I die, I’m choosing to be composted | 1.4031 | 0.05773 | 129 | 89 | 28 | 12 |
498 | Can't you just this once put on a happy face? | 1.4029 | 0.05567 | 139 | 96 | 30 | 13 |
499 | TSA is asking that none of us greet each other by saying Hi Jack. | 1.4028 | 0.05336 | 144 | 98 | 34 | 12 |
500 | As you know, we've recently gone through a rough patch. | 1.4028 | 0.05336 | 144 | 98 | 34 | 12 |
501 | As of November 1st your services are no longer required | 1.4027 | 0.05032 | 149 | 99 | 40 | 10 |
502 | We will start the meeting after John puts his stem on. | 1.4025 | 0.05581 | 159 | 115 | 24 | 20 |
503 | Some of you are about to get canned. | 1.4025 | 0.04897 | 159 | 106 | 42 | 11 |
504 | I must announce that after November 1st, everybody will be smashed | 1.4024 | 0.04794 | 164 | 109 | 44 | 11 |
505 | Let’s go around and give updates. We’ll start with Jack, then go Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack and finish up with Jack. | 1.4024 | 0.04988 | 169 | 116 | 38 | 15 |
506 | We need to develop a long-term sustainability plan beyond Halloween. | 1.4017 | 0.05702 | 117 | 78 | 31 | 8 |
507 | Good news! We just got dental. | 1.4016 | 0.05417 | 122 | 80 | 35 | 7 |
508 | "Well, of course, please convey the Board's condolences, but I don't believe I know Jack. | 1.4015 | 0.05329 | 137 | 92 | 35 | 10 |
509 | Mr. O'Latern is okay, but I prefer to be addressed as "the Great Pumpkin". | 1.4015 | 0.05623 | 137 | 95 | 29 | 13 |
510 | I am here to squash any rumours you may have heard... | 1.4014 | 0.05570 | 142 | 99 | 29 | 14 |
511 | Explain how you let Starbucks take and rebrand pumpkins from us! | 1.4013 | 0.05411 | 157 | 111 | 29 | 17 |
512 | The motion to be recognized as a fruit is unanimously approved. | 1.4012 | 0.05065 | 162 | 111 | 37 | 14 |
513 | I have a great idea for a recipe but it'll come at a great sacrifice for us all. | 1.4000 | 0.05185 | 160 | 111 | 34 | 15 |
514 | We'll meet again November 1 to replace smashed Board members." | 1.4000 | 0.05778 | 135 | 95 | 26 | 14 |
515 | Let me now introduce the company's new board chairman...Peter Peter. | 1.4000 | 0.06041 | 130 | 93 | 22 | 15 |
516 | Well ... I guess the rest of you just weren't carved out for this type of challenge. | 1.4000 | 0.05149 | 140 | 93 | 38 | 9 |
517 | If you can’t smile, you’re not carved out for this job. | 1.4000 | 0.06026 | 115 | 79 | 26 | 10 |
518 | I won't mention any names right now, but some of you are getting canned. | 1.3988 | 0.05415 | 168 | 122 | 25 | 21 |
519 | Come on, put on a happy face. | 1.3986 | 0.05074 | 143 | 95 | 39 | 9 |
520 | I'm afraid we need to make further cuts. | 1.3986 | 0.04976 | 143 | 94 | 41 | 8 |
521 | In this week's diversity meeting... | 1.3986 | 0.05590 | 138 | 96 | 29 | 13 |
522 | Than it is agreed. We remain on strike until we get a better dental plan! | 1.3984 | 0.05800 | 128 | 89 | 27 | 12 |
523 | first I want to announce that the caterer who served the pumpkin seed loaf at Friday’s meeting has been let go. | 1.3984 | 0.05857 | 123 | 85 | 27 | 11 |
524 | You asked for a picture of future employment prospects in the company. I've asked HR to prepare a pie chart. | 1.3975 | 0.05234 | 161 | 113 | 32 | 16 |
525 | Donald, Jr., you go first. | 1.3974 | 0.05154 | 151 | 103 | 36 | 12 |
526 | Are we vegetables or just decorations? | 1.3974 | 0.05322 | 151 | 105 | 32 | 14 |
527 | Clearly, the charges of nepotism are groundless. | 1.3972 | 0.05772 | 141 | 101 | 24 | 16 |
528 | Don't be glum...there's still a future for us in pies starting in late November | 1.3971 | 0.05451 | 136 | 93 | 32 | 11 |
529 | Welcome to the October witness protection program meeting. | 1.3968 | 0.05971 | 126 | 89 | 24 | 13 |
530 | Agreed, we cancel the dental plan? | 1.3967 | 0.05924 | 121 | 84 | 26 | 11 |
531 | Yes, it's a niche market, but I think we can carve out a role for ourselves. | 1.3961 | 0.04911 | 154 | 103 | 41 | 10 |
532 | Seize the moment gentlemen. This is our time to shine. | 1.3957 | 0.05268 | 139 | 94 | 35 | 10 |
533 | Yes, we will squash the competition. | 1.3947 | 0.05456 | 152 | 108 | 28 | 16 |
534 | Why am I smiling? I'm just cut out that way." | 1.3946 | 0.05336 | 147 | 102 | 32 | 13 |
535 | Meeting's over. Let's get smashed. | 1.3946 | 0.05423 | 147 | 103 | 30 | 14 |
536 | I'm pleased to announce that next Monday we will be welcoming a Zucchini to the Board. | 1.3942 | 0.05319 | 137 | 93 | 34 | 10 |
537 | Oh Come on! Lighten up! | 1.3937 | 0.05607 | 127 | 87 | 30 | 10 |
538 | It's not personal... we all knew this business was seasonal. | 1.3937 | 0.05142 | 127 | 83 | 38 | 6 |
539 | Thank you all for carving time out of your busy schedules | 1.3937 | 0.05826 | 127 | 89 | 26 | 12 |
540 | The first order of business is discussing the squirrel problem. | 1.3934 | 0.05528 | 122 | 82 | 32 | 8 |
541 | I am thrilled to introduce our new diversity and inclusion initiative! | 1.3933 | 0.05343 | 150 | 105 | 31 | 14 |
542 | We need to make a few cuts. | 1.3932 | 0.05557 | 117 | 78 | 32 | 7 |
543 | So Peter, you’re going to be picking up a gal by the name of Cinderella. And don’t be late” | 1.3932 | 0.05942 | 117 | 81 | 26 | 10 |
544 | I agree. Fuck squirrels. | 1.3929 | 0.05617 | 140 | 99 | 27 | 14 |
545 | Pie season is around the corner so today we’re bidding farewell to Stan and Fred. | 1.3927 | 0.04912 | 191 | 137 | 33 | 21 |
546 | We’ll still be searching for heads in the interim. | 1.3925 | 0.06194 | 107 | 74 | 24 | 9 |
547 | Think of it this way, it could be worse, we could be turkeys” | 1.3923 | 0.05514 | 130 | 89 | 31 | 10 |
548 | Did I ever tell you about the time I met Charles Schulz? | 1.3919 | 0.05393 | 148 | 104 | 30 | 14 |
549 | Fine. It'll be apple pie. | 1.3902 | 0.05730 | 123 | 85 | 28 | 10 |
550 | No. The other Jack. | 1.3894 | 0.05820 | 113 | 77 | 28 | 8 |
551 | As your new head, I intend to carve out a happier corporate culture. | 1.3893 | 0.05372 | 131 | 89 | 33 | 9 |
552 | The good news is you've all been selected to be in the pumpkin pie eating contest. | 1.3893 | 0.06089 | 131 | 96 | 19 | 16 |
553 | I understand some of you refer to me as 'Old Pumpkinhead.' | 1.3893 | 0.05103 | 149 | 102 | 36 | 11 |
554 | Let’s go around the table and introduce ourselves. I’m Jack. | 1.3889 | 0.05199 | 162 | 115 | 31 | 16 |
555 | Next on the agenda - Board diversification. | 1.3889 | 0.05859 | 108 | 73 | 28 | 7 |
556 | I'm pleased to announce, starting November 1st, you will all qualify for our dental plan. | 1.3885 | 0.05356 | 139 | 96 | 32 | 11 |
557 | Today's guest speaker will be Libby from catering. | 1.3884 | 0.06027 | 121 | 86 | 23 | 12 |
558 | Great news! Apparently, we're scaring the competition! | 1.3884 | 0.05551 | 121 | 82 | 31 | 8 |
559 | What do you mean Pumpkin Spice isn’t in our portfolio? | 1.3884 | 0.05551 | 121 | 82 | 31 | 8 |
560 | My next idea is illuminating. | 1.3881 | 0.05180 | 134 | 90 | 36 | 8 |
561 | We’re all born equal. But we’re carved differently. | 1.3881 | 0.05597 | 134 | 94 | 28 | 12 |
562 | Our research revealed we a glaring lack of diversity” | 1.3874 | 0.06292 | 111 | 79 | 21 | 11 |
563 | It goes without saying, we're gonna need to make some cuts. | 1.3873 | 0.04603 | 173 | 117 | 45 | 11 |
564 | We need to add a little spice to these meetings. | 1.3871 | 0.05457 | 124 | 84 | 32 | 8 |
565 | Technically, I think we're Jacks-o-lantern. | 1.3869 | 0.05408 | 137 | 95 | 31 | 11 |
566 | There will be no layoffs this year. In unrelated news, we'll start selling pies this quarter." | 1.3866 | 0.05860 | 119 | 83 | 26 | 10 |
567 | I’d love to carve that ridiculous smile off his face. | 1.3865 | 0.04948 | 163 | 113 | 37 | 13 |
568 | Bradley, 'cheater, cheater pumpkin eater' is not how we constructively express disagreement here. | 1.3864 | 0.05552 | 132 | 92 | 29 | 11 |
569 | Who's up for pie charts? | 1.3862 | 0.05377 | 145 | 102 | 30 | 13 |
570 | Ok, who has the pie chart? | 1.3860 | 0.06041 | 114 | 80 | 24 | 10 |
571 | It's come to my attention some of you feel our continued use of pie charts is a form of micro-aggression. | 1.3852 | 0.05986 | 122 | 87 | 23 | 12 |
572 | If your name isn’t Jack raise your hand. | 1.3852 | 0.05636 | 122 | 84 | 29 | 9 |
573 | Now let’s see whose head is getting chopped this year. Just kidding. | 1.3852 | 0.05390 | 122 | 82 | 33 | 7 |
574 | It's great to see some familiar faces back in the office. | 1.3852 | 0.05462 | 135 | 94 | 30 | 11 |
575 | I'm afraid we'll be making some additional cuts. | 1.3852 | 0.05150 | 135 | 91 | 36 | 8 |
576 | I believe the seeds of greatness are in all of us. | 1.3852 | 0.05661 | 135 | 96 | 26 | 13 |
577 | OK… very funny! Which one of you wrote 3.14 on the blackboard? | 1.3852 | 0.05758 | 135 | 97 | 24 | 14 |
578 | Jack, we need to squash the competition. | 1.3846 | 0.05339 | 156 | 112 | 28 | 16 |
579 | This would be a lot simpler if some of us weren’t named “Jack.” | 1.3846 | 0.05337 | 143 | 100 | 31 | 12 |
580 | SO....apparently, orange is NOT the new black. | 1.3846 | 0.06020 | 130 | 95 | 20 | 15 |
581 | To clarify: This is not a divestiture. It's a carve-out. | 1.3839 | 0.06498 | 112 | 82 | 17 | 13 |
582 | Don’t worry. We can pivot to turkey masks. | 1.3830 | 0.04998 | 141 | 95 | 38 | 8 |
583 | Ok who wants to do the stoop this year? | 1.3828 | 0.05669 | 128 | 90 | 27 | 11 |
584 | And lastly, my niece is stopping by this afternoon to select one of your heads for her doorstep. | 1.3826 | 0.05869 | 115 | 80 | 26 | 9 |
585 | It was a gourd way to squash the competition. | 1.3824 | 0.06238 | 102 | 71 | 23 | 8 |
586 | And now let’s hear from Jack. | 1.3824 | 0.05752 | 102 | 68 | 29 | 5 |
587 | Thanks for carving out this time to meet with me! | 1.3824 | 0.05119 | 136 | 92 | 36 | 8 |
588 | Well... You've all shown that you're willing to do whatever stupid thing I ask you to. | 1.3817 | 0.05882 | 131 | 95 | 22 | 14 |
589 | Now gentlemen, when you hired me I specifically said ‘I don’t know Jack!’ | 1.3813 | 0.05536 | 139 | 99 | 27 | 13 |
590 | All this power but I feel empty inside” | 1.3810 | 0.05317 | 147 | 104 | 30 | 13 |
591 | And is precisely why I am the face of this firm! | 1.3806 | 0.05275 | 134 | 92 | 33 | 9 |
592 | I am pleased to announce, we are going to make our first diversity hire. | 1.3803 | 0.05263 | 142 | 99 | 32 | 11 |
593 | Let's take a vote before our brains rot.” | 1.3802 | 0.05537 | 121 | 83 | 30 | 8 |
594 | Any ideas? Use your gourds! | 1.3802 | 0.05898 | 121 | 86 | 24 | 11 |
595 | The good news is we had a great quarter. The bad news is we are letting you all go as of November 1st” | 1.3802 | 0.05780 | 121 | 85 | 26 | 10 |
596 | Starting November 1st I’m afraid we’ll have to let you all go | 1.3802 | 0.05660 | 121 | 84 | 28 | 9 |
597 | Heads up everyone, I believe Elon will allow anyone with an orange face to tweet. So cheer up! | 1.3800 | 0.05239 | 150 | 106 | 31 | 13 |
598 | Don't look so glum. Libby's stock has never looked better. | 1.3798 | 0.05524 | 129 | 90 | 29 | 10 |
599 | I am not sure if any of you are really cut out for this | 1.3796 | 0.05842 | 108 | 74 | 27 | 7 |
600 | I may be the Great Pumpkin,but not to worry. You are no turnips. | 1.3796 | 0.04874 | 137 | 91 | 40 | 6 |
601 | And not one of you has the guts to stop me! | 1.3796 | 0.05194 | 137 | 94 | 34 | 9 |
602 | A candle for your thoughts | 1.3793 | 0.05092 | 145 | 100 | 35 | 10 |
603 | I am happy to tell you that all of you will be transferred to our pie division. | 1.3790 | 0.05562 | 124 | 86 | 29 | 9 |
604 | As you know sales were good this year, but the outlook for next month is rotten. | 1.3788 | 0.05105 | 132 | 89 | 36 | 7 |
605 | We're not yet in the black, but we are in the orange. | 1.3788 | 0.05434 | 132 | 92 | 30 | 10 |
606 | You're telling me no one here has any ideas about how we can carve out a niche in the market? | 1.3788 | 0.05327 | 132 | 91 | 32 | 9 |
607 | So, layoffs begin November 1st. | 1.3786 | 0.05708 | 103 | 69 | 29 | 5 |
608 | Trust me I’m not happy about it, guys. I’m just carved this way. | 1.3786 | 0.05216 | 140 | 97 | 33 | 10 |
609 | It's nice to see all your smiling faces. | 1.3785 | 0.04795 | 177 | 125 | 37 | 15 |
610 | A union? I didn’t think you had the guts. | 1.3784 | 0.06406 | 111 | 81 | 18 | 12 |
611 | Well, I think we have carved out an agenda. | 1.3782 | 0.05330 | 156 | 113 | 27 | 16 |
612 | I’m not trying to be alarmist I just think everyone should be ready for layoffs come November 1st | 1.3780 | 0.05582 | 127 | 89 | 28 | 10 |
613 | It's only going to take 4 of you to make the pie chart | 1.3776 | 0.05138 | 143 | 99 | 34 | 10 |
614 | I’m very proud to have been appointed as Chairman of the Gourd | 1.3776 | 0.05138 | 143 | 99 | 34 | 10 |
615 | Our lawyers say that, from now on, half the Board must come from other parts of the garden. | 1.3776 | 0.06570 | 98 | 70 | 19 | 9 |
616 | I think we need a diversity committee. | 1.3770 | 0.05858 | 122 | 87 | 24 | 11 |
617 | Personnel cuts will continue through the end of October. | 1.3769 | 0.05489 | 130 | 91 | 29 | 10 |
618 | Gentlemen, we need to diversify. | 1.3761 | 0.05650 | 109 | 74 | 29 | 6 |
619 | I’m very excited to announce our merger with the pie division. | 1.3761 | 0.05943 | 109 | 76 | 25 | 8 |
620 | If we can rebrand it to "gourd spice latte", we all keep our heads. | 1.3761 | 0.05787 | 117 | 82 | 26 | 9 |
621 | Good job! The competition can’t hold a candle to us. | 1.3760 | 0.05641 | 125 | 88 | 27 | 10 |
622 | Now I know it’s busy season for us, but I hope we’ve all had time to clear our heads. | 1.3760 | 0.05975 | 125 | 91 | 21 | 13 |
623 | I'd like to thank you all for coming to this important meeting on diversity. | 1.3760 | 0.05755 | 125 | 89 | 25 | 11 |
624 | And now, over to Jack for an update on our Diversity & Inclusion program | 1.3759 | 0.05401 | 133 | 93 | 30 | 10 |
625 | We need to light a fire in you. | 1.3759 | 0.04884 | 141 | 95 | 39 | 7 |
626 | This is when they all realized the lantern in Jacks head was not as bright as they previously thought it was. | 1.3758 | 0.05343 | 149 | 107 | 28 | 14 |
627 | We need to take the accusation that we're a bunch of pumpkin heads seriously. | 1.3750 | 0.05203 | 128 | 87 | 34 | 7 |
628 | Your new work attire will include candles in your heads. | 1.3750 | 0.05805 | 120 | 85 | 25 | 10 |
629 | It’s unanimous. We’ll be adding dental benefits. | 1.3750 | 0.05547 | 112 | 76 | 30 | 6 |
630 | So what’s everyone doing this weekend? | 1.3750 | 0.05315 | 136 | 95 | 31 | 10 |
631 | It’s official: I’m the Great Pumpkin | 1.3750 | 0.05564 | 144 | 105 | 24 | 15 |
632 | Good morning Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack and Jack. Help me welcome Jack from our Chicago office. Jack? | 1.3750 | 0.06075 | 128 | 95 | 18 | 15 |
633 | Canning, gentlemen. One way or another it will be your future | 1.3743 | 0.04838 | 171 | 121 | 36 | 14 |
634 | You guys don’t know Jack. | 1.3742 | 0.04774 | 163 | 113 | 39 | 11 |
635 | I promise, it'll be as easy as pie. | 1.3741 | 0.05525 | 139 | 100 | 26 | 13 |
636 | Let's put out heads together and come up with a smashing new idea. | 1.3740 | 0.05455 | 131 | 92 | 29 | 10 |
637 | Sorry to inform you that you're all being canned..oops, I mean fired! | 1.3740 | 0.05235 | 131 | 90 | 33 | 8 |
638 | Just blend in and see if you see anything suspicious | 1.3739 | 0.05983 | 115 | 82 | 23 | 10 |
639 | We've been accused of lacking diversity. | 1.3733 | 0.05313 | 150 | 108 | 28 | 14 |
640 | Gentlemen, use your heads. These are perishable commodities in a seasonal market. | 1.3733 | 0.05397 | 150 | 109 | 26 | 15 |
641 | We had to let Jack go. | 1.3732 | 0.05156 | 142 | 99 | 33 | 10 |
642 | We need a volunteer for the city catapult contest. | 1.3731 | 0.05573 | 134 | 96 | 26 | 12 |
643 | ... so your last day will be Thanksgiving. | 1.3730 | 0.05826 | 126 | 91 | 23 | 12 |
644 | Welcome to this workshop on how to carve out a new career. | 1.3730 | 0.05253 | 126 | 86 | 33 | 7 |
645 | I know, but the kid from Wharton said it works. | 1.3723 | 0.06414 | 94 | 66 | 21 | 7 |
646 | Because I am Chairman of the Gourd, that's why! | 1.3723 | 0.05284 | 137 | 96 | 31 | 10 |
647 | Gentlemen, I'd like to announce our new CEO-- Peter Peter. | 1.3723 | 0.06042 | 137 | 104 | 15 | 18 |
648 | Ok, Everybody smile | 1.3721 | 0.06035 | 129 | 96 | 18 | 15 |
649 | I think we can all agree the Squash tournament was a disaster... | 1.3719 | 0.05765 | 121 | 86 | 25 | 10 |
650 | 'Looking around the room, I'm not sure you believe me when I say "I'm not happy unless you're happy."' | 1.3717 | 0.05922 | 113 | 80 | 24 | 9 |
651 | We’ve burned through our seed money. | 1.3714 | 0.05286 | 105 | 69 | 33 | 3 |
652 | All in favor of “ no candles” say boo hoo | 1.3714 | 0.05783 | 105 | 72 | 27 | 6 |
653 | Actually, I prefer to be called John-O-Lantern | 1.3714 | 0.05397 | 140 | 100 | 28 | 12 |
654 | Additional cuts are necessary before we can all smile again. | 1.3710 | 0.05664 | 124 | 88 | 26 | 10 |
655 | Well. I'm glad we're of the same mind. | 1.3710 | 0.05664 | 124 | 88 | 26 | 10 |
656 | Too many Jacks, not enough Jills! | 1.3710 | 0.05664 | 124 | 88 | 26 | 10 |
657 | I see we have some new faces here this year | 1.3710 | 0.05779 | 124 | 89 | 24 | 11 |
658 | It's an honour to be elected Chairman of the Gourd. | 1.3706 | 0.05126 | 143 | 100 | 33 | 10 |
659 | I'm not really happy, I'm just carved that way. | 1.3704 | 0.06113 | 108 | 77 | 22 | 9 |
660 | I’m afraid they’ll be cuts. | 1.3701 | 0.05339 | 127 | 88 | 31 | 8 |
661 | Heads are gonna roll. | 1.3701 | 0.05454 | 127 | 89 | 29 | 9 |
662 | So, HR says we have too many Jack-Os and not enough Jill-Os. | 1.3701 | 0.05568 | 127 | 90 | 27 | 10 |
663 | All right team.. let's carve out our strategy for this halloween season | 1.3701 | 0.05099 | 127 | 86 | 35 | 6 |
664 | I can see it in your faces, last quarter's results were grim. | 1.3700 | 0.05972 | 100 | 69 | 25 | 6 |
665 | As Chairman of the Gourd, your motion is squashed. | 1.3697 | 0.05044 | 119 | 79 | 36 | 4 |
666 | As the only talking head, I declare myself the winner. | 1.3694 | 0.05993 | 111 | 79 | 23 | 9 |
667 | Let's wrap this up by going around the table and everyone sharing what they're grateful for.... | 1.3689 | 0.06758 | 103 | 77 | 14 | 12 |
668 | What we need now is a pie chart! | 1.3689 | 0.05726 | 122 | 87 | 25 | 10 |
669 | You've all been transferred to our spiced latte division | 1.3684 | 0.05387 | 133 | 94 | 29 | 10 |
670 | I'm honored to accept this promotion in light of Bob's face being eaten by a squirrel. | 1.3684 | 0.06010 | 114 | 82 | 22 | 10 |
671 | Gentlemen, I'll be frank. Some of you will most likely become pies by the end of this three week seminar... | 1.3684 | 0.05996 | 95 | 65 | 25 | 5 |
672 | No, this is just the way my face was carved. The earnings reports was terrible. | 1.3680 | 0.05627 | 125 | 89 | 26 | 10 |
673 | Read the room, Jack. | 1.3676 | 0.05302 | 136 | 96 | 30 | 10 |
674 | Smiling? You must be out of your gourd. | 1.3675 | 0.05642 | 117 | 82 | 27 | 8 |
675 | Gentlemen, the end is near. | 1.3675 | 0.05235 | 117 | 79 | 33 | 5 |
676 | I'm starting to sense a patch of negativity | 1.3675 | 0.06021 | 117 | 85 | 21 | 11 |
677 | I take it no one liked the Halloween bonuses”. | 1.3672 | 0.05960 | 128 | 95 | 19 | 14 |
678 | You're all being laid off on the first of November. | 1.3672 | 0.05187 | 128 | 88 | 33 | 7 |
679 | Those who underperform in the trick-or-treat project will be assigned to the Thanksgiving banquet project. | 1.3670 | 0.05779 | 109 | 76 | 26 | 7 |
680 | Alright you pumpkin heads! What else we got besides Halloween? | 1.3669 | 0.05120 | 139 | 97 | 33 | 9 |
681 | Jack, I’d like to hear from you. | 1.3664 | 0.04990 | 131 | 89 | 36 | 6 |
682 | Yes, I was made CEO because I'm the only one of us with a smile. | 1.3664 | 0.05107 | 131 | 90 | 34 | 7 |
683 | Always good to connect with everyone off vine. | 1.3663 | 0.05755 | 101 | 69 | 27 | 5 |
684 | Thank you all for joining me in the gourdroom. | 1.3661 | 0.05672 | 112 | 78 | 27 | 7 |
685 | Jane O Lantern will be taking over! | 1.3661 | 0.05073 | 112 | 74 | 35 | 3 |
686 | I'm looking for diversity on this board of trustees. Any suggestions,Jacks? | 1.3659 | 0.05448 | 123 | 86 | 29 | 8 |
687 | I've called this meeting before our heads start caving in. | 1.3657 | 0.05758 | 134 | 99 | 21 | 14 |
688 | Another year, another stab in the face”. | 1.3657 | 0.05354 | 134 | 95 | 29 | 10 |
689 | With the reorganization, we feel some of you will be better utilized in Baked Goods. | 1.3656 | 0.06074 | 93 | 64 | 24 | 5 |
690 | We need something that will make their faces light up. | 1.3654 | 0.04989 | 156 | 111 | 33 | 12 |
691 | We need to make more cuts. | 1.3651 | 0.04989 | 126 | 85 | 36 | 5 |
692 | Basically, the DEI Committee said that we are out of our gourds. | 1.3650 | 0.05371 | 137 | 98 | 28 | 11 |
693 | Let the minutes reflect that the squirrels are back. | 1.3646 | 0.06127 | 96 | 67 | 23 | 6 |
694 | November is right around the corner. Nice knowing you guys! | 1.3644 | 0.05855 | 118 | 85 | 23 | 10 |
695 | Don’t let my carving fool you. The numbers are really bad. | 1.3644 | 0.05978 | 118 | 86 | 21 | 11 |
696 | We have to start burning the candle at both ends. | 1.3644 | 0.05730 | 118 | 84 | 25 | 9 |
697 | I’m here today to discuss seed funding… | 1.3643 | 0.05155 | 129 | 89 | 33 | 7 |
698 | If we put our heads together, we can carve out enough seed money from investors, so that everyone will have a slice of the pie | 1.3643 | 0.05496 | 129 | 92 | 27 | 10 |
699 | Next agenda item: Dental Benefits. | 1.3636 | 0.05880 | 110 | 78 | 24 | 8 |
700 | To facilitate our discussion of corporate downsizing, I've prepared a few pie charts.... | 1.3636 | 0.05824 | 99 | 68 | 26 | 5 |
701 | Why all the frowns? | 1.3636 | 0.05880 | 110 | 78 | 24 | 8 |
702 | The maze is doing well and we're still good fertilizer. | 1.3636 | 0.05880 | 110 | 78 | 24 | 8 |
703 | Thanks for carving out some time for today’s meeting. | 1.3636 | 0.05378 | 121 | 84 | 30 | 7 |
704 | C’mon guys, let’s not squash each other ideas,OK? | 1.3630 | 0.05109 | 135 | 94 | 33 | 8 |
705 | Do you all have your candles? | 1.3628 | 0.05193 | 113 | 76 | 33 | 4 |
706 | So, what do you say, Jack? | 1.3628 | 0.05631 | 113 | 79 | 27 | 7 |
707 | And you call yourselves organic? | 1.3628 | 0.05343 | 113 | 77 | 31 | 5 |
708 | As part of the cutbacks We are all being transferred to the thanksgiving pies division. | 1.3622 | 0.05439 | 127 | 90 | 28 | 9 |
709 | It is 3 days after Halloween, anyone’s head feeling soft or mushy? | 1.3622 | 0.05083 | 127 | 87 | 34 | 6 |
710 | Do you think we can carve out a position on the Board for my nephew? | 1.3622 | 0.05553 | 127 | 91 | 26 | 10 |
711 | Lighten up. I said “pi,” not “pie.” | 1.3613 | 0.05563 | 119 | 84 | 27 | 8 |
712 | Let's not lose our heads over the Horseman account. | 1.3613 | 0.05690 | 119 | 85 | 25 | 9 |
713 | The good news is that all of you made the cut; the bad news is that none of us will last very long. | 1.3611 | 0.05652 | 108 | 75 | 27 | 6 |
714 | The vote is Pumpkin Heads 11, Mr. Potato Heads 0. | 1.3608 | 0.05896 | 97 | 67 | 25 | 5 |
715 | It has been brought to my attention that someone has been leaving seeds on the toilet seat. | 1.3607 | 0.05827 | 122 | 89 | 22 | 11 |
716 | How about you Jack? Any bright ideas inside that empty head of yours? | 1.3604 | 0.05975 | 111 | 80 | 22 | 9 |
717 | Friendly reminder, underperformers will be turned into pie. | 1.3604 | 0.05548 | 111 | 77 | 28 | 6 |
718 | OK, let’s all get our heads in the game! | 1.3600 | 0.05495 | 125 | 89 | 27 | 9 |
719 | Ghosts are up 48%, spiders up 12%, and headstones down 11%. We need to put our heads together. Jack, tell us what you got. Triangles aren't cutting it. | 1.3600 | 0.05376 | 125 | 88 | 29 | 8 |
720 | Sadly, it appears to be contagious. | 1.3597 | 0.05106 | 139 | 98 | 32 | 9 |
721 | Well, I see by your faces you're not pleased with the cuts. | 1.3597 | 0.05207 | 139 | 99 | 30 | 10 |
722 | Thank you all for coming to our first diversity training meeting. | 1.3596 | 0.05861 | 114 | 82 | 23 | 9 |
723 | Gentlemen, it’s time we start thinking about switching to LEDs. | 1.3596 | 0.05590 | 114 | 80 | 27 | 7 |
724 | Does anyone have a match? | 1.3596 | 0.06636 | 89 | 64 | 18 | 7 |
725 | So, Jack, Jack and Jack will oversee Marketing, and Jack, Jack, Jack and Jack will supervise our new management team. | 1.3592 | 0.05830 | 103 | 72 | 25 | 6 |
726 | So it's agreed. Next year we transition to solar. | 1.3590 | 0.06004 | 117 | 86 | 20 | 11 |
727 | I can see the surprise carved into your faces | 1.3590 | 0.06004 | 117 | 86 | 20 | 11 |
728 | Gentlemen, we'll have to put our best face on last month's results. | 1.3590 | 0.05753 | 117 | 84 | 24 | 9 |
729 | It is really not that hard to turn a frown upside down. | 1.3588 | 0.05533 | 131 | 95 | 25 | 11 |
730 | I’d like to see a light go on in those heads of yours. | 1.3588 | 0.05205 | 131 | 92 | 31 | 8 |
731 | Let's spice things up a bit! | 1.3585 | 0.05394 | 106 | 72 | 30 | 4 |
732 | I am afraid that you will ALL be terminated on November the 1st. | 1.3585 | 0.05872 | 106 | 75 | 24 | 7 |
733 | Our division is not being carved out but the Board has asked for some paring back. | 1.3583 | 0.05265 | 120 | 83 | 31 | 6 |
734 | There is pie in the kitchen to celebrate Jack’s last day. | 1.3583 | 0.06126 | 120 | 90 | 17 | 13 |
735 | We need to spice things up around here. | 1.3582 | 0.05125 | 134 | 94 | 32 | 8 |
736 | I expect that you all carve out a business plan on Halloween because I have nothing left inside me. | 1.3582 | 0.05545 | 134 | 98 | 24 | 12 |
737 | I can tell by your facial expressions that my proposal is not well received .... | 1.3579 | 0.05970 | 95 | 66 | 24 | 5 |
738 | Mr. O’Lantern was my father. Call me Jack” | 1.3578 | 0.06186 | 109 | 80 | 19 | 10 |
739 | Let's introduce ourselves. I'll start. I'm Jack. | 1.3577 | 0.05552 | 123 | 88 | 26 | 9 |
740 | Hey guys. It's "Happy Halloween" for a reason. | 1.3577 | 0.05431 | 123 | 87 | 28 | 8 |
741 | Just a reminder, never burn the candle at both ends | 1.3577 | 0.05671 | 123 | 89 | 24 | 10 |
742 | Corporate says too much trick, not enough treat. | 1.3577 | 0.05357 | 137 | 99 | 27 | 11 |
743 | He's perfect. He looks like he was cut out for the position. | 1.3571 | 0.04974 | 140 | 98 | 34 | 8 |
744 | For the sake of diversity, maybe we should recruit a few turnips. | 1.3571 | 0.05930 | 112 | 81 | 22 | 9 |
745 | ‘We have to cut back on the lighting budget. Some of you will be demoted to just Jack.’ | 1.3565 | 0.05686 | 115 | 82 | 25 | 8 |
746 | The good news is that some of you will participate in halloween. The bad news is that some of you will be pie. | 1.3562 | 0.04884 | 160 | 115 | 33 | 12 |
747 | Why all the frowny faces? | 1.3561 | 0.05283 | 132 | 94 | 29 | 9 |
748 | And now, for something really scary, Ichabod will present the financial report... | 1.3559 | 0.06081 | 118 | 88 | 18 | 12 |
749 | Who brought the treats? | 1.3559 | 0.05453 | 118 | 83 | 28 | 7 |
750 | We need to make a few more cuts. | 1.3556 | 0.04757 | 135 | 92 | 38 | 5 |
751 | Bill, what happened to your stem. It’s not business casual Friday. | 1.3554 | 0.05968 | 121 | 90 | 19 | 12 |
752 | I’m just gonna be honest with you, we have absolutely no business plan past October | 1.3554 | 0.06082 | 121 | 91 | 17 | 13 |
753 | Some of you aren’t cut out for this… | 1.3551 | 0.05976 | 107 | 77 | 22 | 8 |
754 | Thanks, everyone, for using unscented candles during your smoke breaks. | 1.3551 | 0.05976 | 107 | 77 | 22 | 8 |
755 | 'Good to see you all got the memo.' | 1.3551 | 0.05673 | 107 | 75 | 26 | 6 |
756 | I'm afraid Charlie in chair 3 requires a stem cell transplant. | 1.3551 | 0.05976 | 107 | 77 | 22 | 8 |
757 | I’m glad everyone got the memo. | 1.3551 | 0.05516 | 107 | 74 | 28 | 5 |
758 | I’d like to thank everyone for carving out some time to meet this weekend. | 1.3551 | 0.05325 | 138 | 100 | 27 | 11 |
759 | i know, i know, i don’t agree with their band name, but you have to admit the smashing pumpkins is a great band to play at the holiday party this year | 1.3545 | 0.05716 | 110 | 78 | 25 | 7 |
760 | Today we will be focusing on ways to not rot after Halloween. | 1.3545 | 0.06001 | 110 | 80 | 21 | 9 |
761 | Profits just went off the chart; let's get smashed tonight! | 1.3543 | 0.05648 | 127 | 93 | 23 | 11 |
762 | Lighten up, guys...that's what we do... | 1.3540 | 0.05750 | 113 | 81 | 24 | 8 |
763 | Of course, one of you has to rot first. | 1.3540 | 0.05468 | 113 | 79 | 28 | 6 |
764 | AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO FINDS BEING A PUMPKIN HEAD AMUSING? | 1.3540 | 0.05468 | 113 | 79 | 28 | 6 |
765 | I realize no one's in the mood for Christmas but somebody needs to plan the Holiday party before our heads rot. | 1.3540 | 0.06018 | 113 | 83 | 20 | 10 |
766 | I’m looking for diversity committee volunteers. | 1.3540 | 0.05886 | 113 | 82 | 22 | 9 |
767 | Thank you all for carving out the time. | 1.3538 | 0.05222 | 130 | 92 | 30 | 8 |
768 | Then we're all in agreement... pecan pie. | 1.3535 | 0.06628 | 99 | 74 | 15 | 10 |
769 | Collectively, you don’t know Jack | 1.3535 | 0.05239 | 99 | 66 | 31 | 2 |
770 | We won the Sleepy Hollow account. Legendary job, gentlemen! | 1.3534 | 0.05776 | 116 | 84 | 23 | 9 |
771 | Our next project involves carving out a new plan. | 1.3534 | 0.05231 | 116 | 80 | 31 | 5 |
772 | Then it's settled, Charlie Brown is a honary member | 1.3529 | 0.05672 | 119 | 86 | 24 | 9 |
773 | And those agreeing with the motion say Boo. | 1.3529 | 0.05169 | 136 | 97 | 30 | 9 |
774 | You can't all be named Jack | 1.3529 | 0.05376 | 136 | 99 | 26 | 11 |
775 | My long-overdue replacement will be Jill-O-Lantern. | 1.3529 | 0.05853 | 102 | 72 | 24 | 6 |
776 | Okay c'mon think! We need something to use with the word spice. | 1.3525 | 0.05292 | 139 | 101 | 27 | 11 |
777 | We’ll be confined to this secure location until November 1. | 1.3524 | 0.06627 | 105 | 80 | 13 | 12 |
778 | So, now that our heads are clear... | 1.3524 | 0.05896 | 105 | 75 | 23 | 7 |
779 | So who do we think is going to get smashed at the holiday party this year? | 1.3520 | 0.04985 | 125 | 86 | 34 | 5 |
780 | Our apple and pecan pies aren't selling very well. Anybody have any ideas? | 1.3519 | 0.06074 | 108 | 79 | 20 | 9 |
781 | I realize company morale is low, but H.R. has just laid in a new supply of candles. | 1.3519 | 0.04977 | 108 | 72 | 34 | 2 |
782 | I wish all of us could lighten up. | 1.3519 | 0.05314 | 108 | 74 | 30 | 4 |
783 | Ask yourselves—we’re you cut out for this line of work? | 1.3517 | 0.04847 | 145 | 102 | 35 | 8 |
784 | Profits are way up. Let's get smashed! | 1.3517 | 0.04945 | 145 | 103 | 33 | 9 |
785 | Truth is, some of us just aren't cut-out for leadership. | 1.3516 | 0.05272 | 128 | 91 | 29 | 8 |
786 | Let's carve out a time to discuss Jack's concerns. | 1.3514 | 0.05673 | 111 | 79 | 25 | 7 |
787 | I know how gutted you must all feel about this decision. | 1.3511 | 0.06183 | 94 | 67 | 21 | 6 |
788 | We’ve received the results of our board diversity survey… | 1.3509 | 0.05429 | 114 | 80 | 28 | 6 |
789 | We are happy to announce that this years holiday party will host a reunion of the band Smashing Pumpkins. | 1.3504 | 0.05343 | 137 | 100 | 26 | 11 |
790 | Am I the only one who sees the humor in the situation? | 1.3500 | 0.05994 | 120 | 90 | 18 | 12 |
791 | We all have to make a few more cuts. | 1.3500 | 0.05507 | 120 | 86 | 26 | 8 |
792 | Just letting you know I fired the guy who turned your smiles upside down. | 1.3496 | 0.05535 | 123 | 89 | 25 | 9 |
793 | Thank you for carving out time for this meeting today, gentlemen. | 1.3495 | 0.05468 | 103 | 71 | 28 | 4 |
794 | Let’s all put our heads together and carve out a new plan! | 1.3495 | 0.06279 | 103 | 76 | 18 | 9 |
795 | I'm glad to report that there's demand for exactly ten seasonal pies. | 1.3492 | 0.05557 | 126 | 92 | 24 | 10 |
796 | Any ideas to improve November sales? | 1.3491 | 0.05850 | 106 | 76 | 23 | 7 |
797 | Believe me, I'm more concerned about layoffs than you are. I was just carved this way. | 1.3491 | 0.05694 | 106 | 75 | 25 | 6 |
798 | In the interest of board diversity, we’ll be adding some new faces. | 1.3491 | 0.06149 | 106 | 78 | 19 | 9 |
799 | Before we begin, does anyone have a light? | 1.3486 | 0.05587 | 109 | 77 | 26 | 6 |
800 | I’m looking to put a new face on the company. Go! | 1.3485 | 0.05156 | 132 | 94 | 30 | 8 |
801 | Does anyone else ever just feel empty inside? | 1.3482 | 0.05486 | 112 | 79 | 27 | 6 |
802 | OK. Any ideas what we'll do for Christmas? | 1.3481 | 0.05185 | 135 | 97 | 29 | 9 |
803 | None of have any guts! | 1.3478 | 0.06814 | 92 | 69 | 14 | 9 |
804 | The important thing is never to let on that we're just a bunch of pumpkinheads. | 1.3478 | 0.05002 | 138 | 98 | 32 | 8 |
805 | Thanksgiving is next week, Who’s bringing the Pie? | 1.3478 | 0.06072 | 92 | 65 | 22 | 5 |
806 | Ok. Who brought the candles? | 1.3475 | 0.05565 | 118 | 85 | 25 | 8 |
807 | Great news! We’ve signed Smashing Pumpkins! | 1.3474 | 0.06308 | 95 | 69 | 19 | 7 |
808 | Let me just start by saying you all looking smashing. | 1.3474 | 0.05751 | 95 | 66 | 25 | 4 |
809 | Which one of you is Jack? | 1.3471 | 0.05593 | 121 | 88 | 24 | 9 |
810 | I don’t see that spark in your eyes anymore. | 1.3471 | 0.05834 | 121 | 90 | 20 | 11 |
811 | I found a great dentist | 1.3468 | 0.05955 | 124 | 94 | 17 | 13 |
812 | We need more smiles around here. On the count of three turn your head upside down. | 1.3465 | 0.05876 | 101 | 72 | 23 | 6 |
813 | I'm sorry, but that pie chart is such a trigger for me. | 1.3462 | 0.06375 | 104 | 78 | 16 | 10 |
814 | So yesterday, you were all wondering how to get a-head in this business, how to really carve space for yourself and shine a light on your best features… | 1.3459 | 0.05342 | 133 | 97 | 26 | 10 |
815 | I see a bright light in all of your minds, but the future of the company remains spooky. | 1.3456 | 0.04826 | 136 | 95 | 35 | 6 |
816 | Why am I the only guy with a smiley face around here? | 1.3455 | 0.05694 | 110 | 79 | 24 | 7 |
817 | Encouraging you to dress up this year is just our way of valuing your own individual flair and creativity. | 1.3451 | 0.05999 | 113 | 84 | 19 | 10 |
818 | It has come to my attention that you are all burned out and sad. | 1.3451 | 0.05446 | 113 | 80 | 27 | 6 |
819 | Now, about the dental plan … | 1.3448 | 0.06296 | 87 | 62 | 20 | 5 |
820 | Which one of you is giving the update on our corporate diversity initiative? | 1.3445 | 0.05395 | 119 | 85 | 27 | 7 |
821 | Frankly, our outlook is rotten | 1.3444 | 0.06153 | 90 | 64 | 21 | 5 |
822 | Some of you won't be here in 3 weeks time. | 1.3440 | 0.05218 | 125 | 89 | 29 | 7 |
823 | I’m Mr. O’Lantern but please, call me Jack. | 1.3438 | 0.04632 | 128 | 87 | 38 | 3 |
824 | Gentlemen. The knives are out. | 1.3438 | 0.05892 | 96 | 68 | 23 | 5 |
825 | I’ve heard from HR that there have been some complaints about our new company dress code. | 1.3434 | 0.06605 | 99 | 75 | 14 | 10 |
826 | Don’t we need more diversity here? | 1.3434 | 0.05403 | 99 | 68 | 28 | 3 |
827 | I think we have a diversity issue here! | 1.3434 | 0.06285 | 99 | 73 | 18 | 8 |
828 | Our October revenues were through the roof,but unfortunately zero in every other month. | 1.3433 | 0.05308 | 134 | 98 | 26 | 10 |
829 | For a fresh perspective, I propose we hire Mr. Potato Head. | 1.3431 | 0.05659 | 102 | 72 | 25 | 5 |
830 | Jack, you better carve that smirk right off your face. | 1.3431 | 0.05828 | 102 | 73 | 23 | 6 |
831 | We need to stay fresh, current and relevant. We haven’t even left the front step. | 1.3431 | 0.05327 | 137 | 101 | 25 | 11 |
832 | And to turn those frowns upside down, all it will take is a few cuts | 1.3429 | 0.06026 | 105 | 77 | 20 | 8 |
833 | Well, yes, the bad news is there will be cuts. The good news is they will result in a bigger piece of the pie. | 1.3429 | 0.05872 | 105 | 76 | 22 | 7 |
834 | Okay. I'd like to plant a seed in your head. | 1.3426 | 0.06052 | 108 | 80 | 19 | 9 |
835 | The good news is you'll all make great pies. | 1.3426 | 0.06193 | 108 | 81 | 17 | 10 |
836 | Can we stop with the missing teeth, already!!! | 1.3426 | 0.06052 | 108 | 80 | 19 | 9 |
837 | If the bottom line doesn't improve, heads will roll. | 1.3426 | 0.05450 | 108 | 76 | 27 | 5 |
838 | Apple and Mince are gaining on us. We need a bigger slice of the pie! | 1.3423 | 0.05794 | 111 | 81 | 22 | 8 |
839 | I still think that “the gourd accord” is a great name for our merger. | 1.3419 | 0.05314 | 117 | 83 | 28 | 6 |
840 | When I first had the ides for this company, they told me I was put of my gourd | 1.3417 | 0.04950 | 120 | 83 | 33 | 4 |
841 | Please shut your pie holes while I’m talking | 1.3417 | 0.05857 | 120 | 90 | 19 | 11 |
842 | I'm afraid we have to can 3 of you. | 1.3416 | 0.04671 | 161 | 116 | 35 | 10 |
843 | Well carving made ME happier. You must have all done it wrong. | 1.3413 | 0.05539 | 126 | 93 | 23 | 10 |
844 | ...and last but not least, you'll be thrilled to hear that the board of directors has voted to approve dental insurance for all employees. | 1.3409 | 0.06236 | 88 | 63 | 20 | 5 |
845 | I’ve been told we need to address diversity in the workplace. | 1.3409 | 0.06836 | 88 | 66 | 14 | 8 |
846 | Gentlemen we have been asked to represent "The Smashing Pumpkins"... | 1.3407 | 0.05678 | 135 | 103 | 18 | 14 |
847 | We've been chosen as the Starbucks seasoning of the month! | 1.3406 | 0.04769 | 138 | 97 | 35 | 6 |
848 | Alright, who's wearing spice? | 1.3404 | 0.06337 | 94 | 69 | 18 | 7 |
849 | Seriously, no more hollow promises, . | 1.3404 | 0.05770 | 94 | 66 | 24 | 4 |
850 | I've decided to enter you all in the holiday bakeoff. | 1.3402 | 0.06198 | 97 | 71 | 19 | 7 |
851 | We’re going through a rough patch. | 1.3402 | 0.06535 | 97 | 73 | 15 | 9 |
852 | You will all go into the field as mystery shoppers. | 1.3402 | 0.05654 | 97 | 68 | 25 | 4 |
853 | Well, once again, I'm sorry to say, nobody has volunteered to be the Great Pumpkin. | 1.3400 | 0.05898 | 100 | 72 | 22 | 6 |
854 | You can't imagine how much better I felt after going to that wonderful dentist. | 1.3400 | 0.06067 | 100 | 73 | 20 | 7 |
855 | Of course, by mid-November this will all be moot. | 1.3400 | 0.06067 | 100 | 73 | 20 | 7 |
856 | As Chairman of the Gourd, I understand the term "seed financing" may raise some concerns.... | 1.3398 | 0.05943 | 103 | 75 | 21 | 7 |
857 | None of you have the guts to innovate anything | 1.3398 | 0.06101 | 103 | 76 | 19 | 8 |
858 | Ironically, the only way to bring some smiles to this boardroom is to make some additional cuts. | 1.3398 | 0.06101 | 103 | 76 | 19 | 8 |
859 | So it’s agreed…Oct 31st will be a work-day ! | 1.3398 | 0.05943 | 103 | 75 | 21 | 7 |
860 | Look at the bright side, we could all be watermelons. | 1.3396 | 0.05509 | 106 | 75 | 26 | 5 |
861 | I'm guessing by your faces that you don't have good news. | 1.3394 | 0.05861 | 109 | 80 | 21 | 8 |
862 | It’s time to announce a change of the gourd. | 1.3394 | 0.05861 | 109 | 80 | 21 | 8 |
863 | The board would like us to consider diversifying our hiring practices. | 1.3394 | 0.05714 | 109 | 79 | 23 | 7 |
864 | And after that, the squirrels will start eating our heads. | 1.3393 | 0.05750 | 112 | 82 | 22 | 8 |
865 | Sales are down and some heads are going to smash. | 1.3393 | 0.05463 | 112 | 80 | 26 | 6 |
866 | Why is productivity so low in November? | 1.3391 | 0.05368 | 115 | 82 | 27 | 6 |
867 | As president of the Gourd of Directors, I've carved out a new plan. | 1.3388 | 0.05449 | 121 | 88 | 25 | 8 |
868 | ‘We’ve saved thousands by eliminating dental benefits.’ | 1.3388 | 0.05574 | 121 | 89 | 23 | 9 |
869 | Exciting news. We're merging...with candles! | 1.3387 | 0.05357 | 124 | 90 | 26 | 8 |
870 | We need a strong strategy to overtake Mr. Potato Head.. | 1.3385 | 0.05520 | 130 | 97 | 22 | 11 |
871 | So, we all agree; the expression "pumpkin head" is derogatory, and can not be used on any social media outlet. | 1.3385 | 0.05627 | 130 | 98 | 20 | 12 |
872 | Why all the frowning faces? I'm only going to smash one of you! | 1.3378 | 0.05123 | 148 | 110 | 26 | 12 |
873 | This is much more effective in person than on Zoom | 1.3375 | 0.06400 | 80 | 57 | 19 | 4 |
874 | To comply with the diversity guidelines, 5 of you will be replaced by witches. | 1.3375 | 0.06877 | 80 | 59 | 15 | 6 |
875 | Not very bright, is he? | 1.3373 | 0.06006 | 83 | 58 | 22 | 3 |
876 | Where did you’ll think pumpkin spice came from? | 1.3373 | 0.06700 | 83 | 61 | 16 | 6 |
877 | OK then. Let's take a vote. Trick or Treat? | 1.3372 | 0.05874 | 86 | 60 | 23 | 3 |
878 | This year, I want us to be more than the face of Halloween! | 1.3371 | 0.06769 | 89 | 67 | 14 | 8 |
879 | Hey guys, Welcome to the first meeting of the diversity committee. | 1.3370 | 0.05840 | 92 | 65 | 23 | 4 |
880 | And tonight's coach driver is... | 1.3370 | 0.05840 | 92 | 65 | 23 | 4 |
881 | If you think that you can carve into my territory, then you don't know Jack. | 1.3368 | 0.06456 | 95 | 71 | 16 | 8 |
882 | So we’re gonna have to make some cuts. | 1.3368 | 0.05521 | 95 | 66 | 26 | 3 |
883 | So that’s zero votes for Smashing Pumpkins performing at the annual meeting. | 1.3368 | 0.05913 | 95 | 68 | 22 | 5 |
884 | I think we would make the right decision if we had any guts. | 1.3368 | 0.06099 | 95 | 69 | 20 | 6 |
885 | We had a smashing good year" | 1.3367 | 0.05792 | 98 | 70 | 23 | 5 |
886 | Due to the current economic outlook,we are going to have to make a few more cuts. | 1.3367 | 0.05971 | 98 | 71 | 21 | 6 |
887 | I can't tell if you're all happy or sad about being off the porch and back in the office again | 1.3366 | 0.06178 | 101 | 75 | 18 | 8 |
888 | Managers will not refer to anyone as ‘pumpkin,’ regardless of how they identify. | 1.3365 | 0.05569 | 104 | 74 | 25 | 5 |
889 | The good news is your jobs are secure until November 1st. | 1.3365 | 0.05569 | 104 | 74 | 25 | 5 |
890 | I'll need your pie charts by noon | 1.3365 | 0.05734 | 104 | 75 | 23 | 6 |
891 | Yes, but we will all be gone November first | 1.3365 | 0.06051 | 104 | 77 | 19 | 8 |
892 | Soon our jobs will be taken by turkeys. | 1.3365 | 0.06203 | 104 | 78 | 17 | 9 |
893 | This way, we can get a piece of the pie. | 1.3364 | 0.05930 | 107 | 79 | 20 | 8 |
894 | Team, this year I’d really like us to put the WE in Halloween. | 1.3364 | 0.05957 | 110 | 82 | 19 | 9 |
895 | The new employee healthcare plan will only cover 2 candles a month | 1.3364 | 0.05368 | 110 | 78 | 27 | 5 |
896 | Well, I for one, I’m glad that Mr. potato head is gone. What say you? | 1.3363 | 0.05275 | 113 | 80 | 28 | 5 |
897 | As you can see, we’ve had to make some disappointing cuts. | 1.3363 | 0.05844 | 113 | 84 | 20 | 9 |
898 | Gentlemen,we have to carve out a new policy! | 1.3363 | 0.05567 | 113 | 82 | 24 | 7 |
899 | Now I know that some people are saying our board needs more diversity... | 1.3363 | 0.06108 | 113 | 86 | 16 | 11 |
900 | Unfortunately,with the rise in popularity of a certain Thanksgiving dessert,we can expect a sizable loss in labor this quarter. | 1.3362 | 0.05736 | 116 | 86 | 21 | 9 |
901 | All in favor of the carveouts say "aye" | 1.3361 | 0.06000 | 119 | 91 | 16 | 12 |
902 | I am proud that every one of us are capable of carrying a light inside. | 1.3361 | 0.05656 | 122 | 91 | 21 | 10 |
903 | I know people love pumpkin pie; people are sick. | 1.3360 | 0.05321 | 125 | 91 | 26 | 8 |
904 | C’mon, people, we can’t all be Jack. A Harry, Earl, Mabel…anyone? | 1.3360 | 0.05558 | 125 | 93 | 22 | 10 |
905 | Our new Director of Diversity is a potato head. | 1.3359 | 0.05686 | 128 | 97 | 19 | 12 |
906 | It's pumpkin spice season gentlemen, and you know what that means! Sacrifice. | 1.3333 | 0.05474 | 90 | 62 | 26 | 2 |
907 | Gentlemen, we are being acquired by Starbucks. | 1.3333 | 0.06398 | 96 | 72 | 16 | 8 |
908 | We're forecasting strength through the end of this month, followed by rapid deterioration. | 1.3333 | 0.05911 | 111 | 83 | 19 | 9 |
909 | Now: who’s going to be the pumpkin pie donor this year? | 1.3333 | 0.06675 | 87 | 65 | 15 | 7 |
910 | Thank you for carving out time to meet. | 1.3333 | 0.06746 | 78 | 57 | 16 | 5 |
911 | Just think of it, gentlemen: Pumpkin Spice Old Spice! | 1.3333 | 0.06002 | 105 | 78 | 19 | 8 |
912 | Yes, she carved me with a smile -- any objections? | 1.3333 | 0.05801 | 102 | 74 | 22 | 6 |
913 | I plan to can all of you before Thanksgiving. | 1.3333 | 0.06224 | 96 | 71 | 18 | 7 |
914 | Thanks to you, this company is a real Cinderella story. | 1.3333 | 0.04932 | 114 | 79 | 32 | 3 |
915 | Where’s the pie chart? | 1.3333 | 0.06546 | 93 | 70 | 15 | 8 |
916 | This board couldn’t hold a candle to the last one. | 1.3333 | 0.05525 | 105 | 75 | 25 | 5 |
917 | I’m sorry to tell you, but you’re all going to be replaced by Santa Claus on 1st November. | 1.3333 | 0.05883 | 108 | 80 | 20 | 8 |
918 | I received an inquiry from Musk about our corporate culture".. | 1.3333 | 0.06091 | 99 | 73 | 19 | 7 |
919 | I decided there will be no awards for Halloween costumes this year | 1.3333 | 0.05627 | 111 | 81 | 23 | 7 |
920 | Can I get a smile? | 1.3333 | 0.06412 | 84 | 61 | 18 | 5 |
921 | Now, now, gentleman, we've all had to endure some cuts. | 1.3333 | 0.06002 | 105 | 78 | 19 | 8 |
922 | I’d like each of you to introduce yourself and tell us something unique about you | 1.3333 | 0.06989 | 78 | 58 | 14 | 6 |
923 | If we don’t meet our corporate objectives for October, heads will roll. | 1.3333 | 0.06309 | 108 | 83 | 14 | 11 |
924 | Due to a shortage of pumpkin spice, some of you will be... relocated. | 1.3333 | 0.05525 | 105 | 75 | 25 | 5 |
925 | Thanks for carving out a little time this afternoon to meet. | 1.3333 | 0.06261 | 87 | 63 | 19 | 5 |
926 | As of November 1st, you're all redundant. | 1.3333 | 0.05593 | 120 | 89 | 22 | 9 |
927 | Let’s start with a moment of silence for Jack, who would have been here had he not been eaten by squirrels. | 1.3333 | 0.05966 | 102 | 75 | 20 | 7 |
928 | Okay Jack, let’s hear from you first | 1.3333 | 0.06044 | 87 | 62 | 21 | 4 |
929 | - "I understand your concerns, but I really think this could light a fire in all of us" | 1.3333 | 0.05383 | 114 | 82 | 26 | 6 |
930 | HR would like us to address an alleged nepotism issue. | 1.3333 | 0.06283 | 102 | 77 | 16 | 9 |
931 | At least one of us is happy. | 1.3333 | 0.05237 | 114 | 81 | 28 | 5 |
932 | Burnout?! Maybe you just aren't cut out for this job! | 1.3333 | 0.06046 | 96 | 70 | 20 | 6 |
933 | Explain to me again why we need a Chief Diversity Officer. | 1.3333 | 0.05688 | 105 | 76 | 23 | 6 |
934 | I lowered the temperature in the room so we have more than the usual 2 weeks to make decisions for next year. | 1.3307 | 0.05130 | 127 | 92 | 28 | 7 |
935 | Gentlemen, all of these ideas are hollow. | 1.3306 | 0.05213 | 124 | 90 | 27 | 7 |
936 | Why do you pumpkin heads look so grim? It's Halloween, after all | 1.3306 | 0.04955 | 124 | 88 | 31 | 5 |
937 | I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're all getting bonuses on November 1st. The bad news is we're paying you in candy corn. | 1.3305 | 0.05652 | 118 | 88 | 21 | 9 |
938 | Their gonna rip our guts out if we miss earnings… | 1.3305 | 0.05523 | 118 | 87 | 23 | 8 |
939 | I'm telling you, the fourth quarter is always our highest for some reason. | 1.3304 | 0.05344 | 115 | 83 | 26 | 6 |
940 | The Headless Horseman started this company with just anger at the townsfolk and a dream... | 1.3304 | 0.05585 | 112 | 82 | 23 | 7 |
941 | The Fall Witness Protection Program meeting is now underway. | 1.3304 | 0.06001 | 112 | 85 | 17 | 10 |
942 | Oh come on! Not everyone here can be named Jack! | 1.3304 | 0.05439 | 112 | 81 | 25 | 6 |
943 | Does anyone else always feel light-headed this time of year? | 1.3303 | 0.05837 | 109 | 81 | 20 | 8 |
944 | You all know the drill… if we can’t carve out a profit, heads are gonna roll! | 1.3302 | 0.05143 | 106 | 74 | 29 | 3 |
945 | Such a relief to see the diversity, equity and inclusion efforts are paying off. | 1.3302 | 0.05953 | 106 | 79 | 19 | 8 |
946 | Your jobs will change from scaring people to flavoring lattés. | 1.3301 | 0.06075 | 103 | 77 | 18 | 8 |
947 | Stalks are up! | 1.3301 | 0.06230 | 103 | 78 | 16 | 9 |
948 | i can’t see shit outta this fuckin thing | 1.3301 | 0.05917 | 103 | 76 | 20 | 7 |
949 | I vote that we make Halloween a national holiday. | 1.3300 | 0.05515 | 100 | 71 | 25 | 4 |
950 | Well, I’m smiling because I am retiring before the first frost! | 1.3298 | 0.06307 | 94 | 70 | 17 | 7 |
951 | It's nice to see so many new faces here. | 1.3298 | 0.06307 | 94 | 70 | 17 | 7 |
952 | What I’m proposing, is that we need a little more diversity on our board. | 1.3298 | 0.06307 | 94 | 70 | 17 | 7 |
953 | Let’s face it, gentlemen. We’ve got maybe a week before we bottom out. | 1.3298 | 0.05534 | 94 | 66 | 25 | 3 |
954 | We’re not leaving this room until someone figures out how we can stay relevant come November first. | 1.3297 | 0.06063 | 91 | 66 | 20 | 5 |
955 | Gentlemen, I’m not happy at all with this quarter’s report but as you know, I have no choice but to grin and bear it. | 1.3297 | 0.05646 | 91 | 64 | 24 | 3 |
956 | 'We need to offer more unpaid lanternships.' | 1.3295 | 0.06609 | 88 | 66 | 15 | 7 |
957 | No, Johnson, pumpkin spice cocaine is just too far. | 1.3291 | 0.06674 | 79 | 58 | 16 | 5 |
958 | Think, people. How do we stop the pumpkin spice craze? | 1.3289 | 0.06321 | 76 | 54 | 19 | 3 |
959 | No one wants to listen to old, white men this time of year | 1.3280 | 0.05301 | 125 | 92 | 25 | 8 |
960 | The bashings will continue, until morale improves. | 1.3279 | 0.05263 | 122 | 89 | 26 | 7 |
961 | I want to light a fire in each of you. | 1.3277 | 0.05860 | 119 | 91 | 17 | 11 |
962 | And to reduce our electricity bill, we’re issuing candles to all employees. | 1.3277 | 0.05483 | 119 | 88 | 23 | 8 |
963 | The new campaign is going to be smashing | 1.3277 | 0.05217 | 119 | 86 | 27 | 6 |
964 | Not my problem that your owners chose to give you a frown. | 1.3276 | 0.05306 | 116 | 84 | 26 | 6 |
965 | So we’re going to carve out a plan to squash the opposition | 1.3276 | 0.05714 | 116 | 87 | 20 | 9 |
966 | We have to accept the diversity means including butternut, spaghetti and all the others. | 1.3274 | 0.06215 | 113 | 88 | 13 | 12 |
967 | Now that we all have ours heads on straight, lets talk about why candy corn is not a good product. | 1.3274 | 0.05684 | 113 | 84 | 21 | 8 |
968 | And finally, I'd like to inform you all that the company dental plan will now be managed by our Marketing Department. | 1.3274 | 0.05543 | 113 | 83 | 23 | 7 |
969 | This year we have decided to add a pumpkin spice flavor to our product, and so I am asking all of you to, ahem,"contribute". | 1.3271 | 0.05754 | 107 | 79 | 21 | 7 |
970 | I think it’s a smashing idea. | 1.3269 | 0.05707 | 104 | 76 | 22 | 6 |
971 | Let’s get this Cabinet meeting started. And, you need to smile. | 1.3269 | 0.05541 | 104 | 75 | 24 | 5 |
972 | A Republican caucus. | 1.3267 | 0.06310 | 101 | 77 | 15 | 9 |
973 | I'm glad you could all carve time out of your day to be here. | 1.3267 | 0.05286 | 101 | 71 | 27 | 3 |
974 | Sorry, Elon Musk just bought Halloween. | 1.3267 | 0.06151 | 101 | 76 | 17 | 8 |
975 | All the indications are pointing to a rotten November. | 1.3265 | 0.05941 | 98 | 72 | 20 | 6 |
976 | We'd better ask the eggheads. | 1.3265 | 0.06285 | 98 | 74 | 16 | 8 |
977 | I think it's time that we choose a new head. | 1.3263 | 0.06250 | 95 | 71 | 17 | 7 |
978 | Welcome to the Gourd of Directors meeting. | 1.3261 | 0.05806 | 92 | 66 | 22 | 4 |
979 | As your Chair, none of you can hold a candle to me. | 1.3261 | 0.06203 | 92 | 68 | 18 | 6 |
980 | In the coming year, we will be hiring outside the gourd family for diversity. | 1.3261 | 0.06393 | 92 | 69 | 16 | 7 |
981 | But there's always Thanksgiving! | 1.3261 | 0.05151 | 92 | 63 | 28 | 1 |
982 | 'Heads together on this issue...but carefully' | 1.3261 | 0.06203 | 92 | 68 | 18 | 6 |
983 | None of you are cut out to lead the new division. | 1.3261 | 0.05596 | 92 | 65 | 24 | 3 |
984 | We have been asked about the lack of Jill-O'-Lanterns. | 1.3258 | 0.06143 | 89 | 65 | 19 | 5 |
985 | Jack, I agree, board diversity should be top priority. | 1.3258 | 0.06347 | 89 | 66 | 17 | 6 |
986 | I'm going to squash that idea. | 1.3258 | 0.05712 | 89 | 63 | 23 | 3 |
987 | So, I go by the name Jacqueline now. 🎃 | 1.3258 | 0.06737 | 89 | 68 | 13 | 8 |
988 | One more bad quarter and that’s all of our heads sitting on some porch | 1.3256 | 0.06707 | 86 | 65 | 14 | 7 |
989 | Who wants to be on the diversity committee? | 1.3256 | 0.06286 | 86 | 63 | 18 | 5 |
990 | Shares are down but you'll get your piece of the pie | 1.3256 | 0.06707 | 86 | 65 | 14 | 7 |
991 | I don't think this board has the guts! | 1.3256 | 0.06286 | 86 | 63 | 18 | 5 |
992 | In order to grow the pie, one of you has to be canned. | 1.3250 | 0.05181 | 120 | 87 | 27 | 6 |
993 | So, gentlemen, are we all of the same mind? | 1.3247 | 0.06521 | 77 | 56 | 17 | 4 |
994 | We're merging with Ginsu. | 1.3247 | 0.06778 | 77 | 57 | 15 | 5 |
995 | I’m asking for volunteers to be ushers at the Smashing Pumpkins concert. | 1.3243 | 0.05888 | 111 | 84 | 18 | 9 |
996 | Elon said that some heads are going to roll. | 1.3243 | 0.06966 | 74 | 55 | 14 | 5 |
997 | the UK decision to have a new PM for each festive period was unusual but looking forward to see what they do for Bonfire Night... | 1.3243 | 0.06117 | 74 | 52 | 20 | 2 |
998 | I’ve always said that a smile goes a long way in this business | 1.3241 | 0.05708 | 108 | 80 | 21 | 7 |
999 | Unfortunately the patch we’re in now is… a rough one. Stalks are way down. | 1.3241 | 0.05708 | 108 | 80 | 21 | 7 |
1000 | You heard of the Great Pumpkin? Yep, I'm him! | 1.3241 | 0.05858 | 108 | 81 | 19 | 8 |
1001 | It's clear that our time here is limited. | 1.3241 | 0.05397 | 108 | 78 | 25 | 5 |
1002 | We still need a volunteer to supply the pie for our holiday party. | 1.3238 | 0.05496 | 105 | 76 | 24 | 5 |
1003 | Before we start today,may I please remind everyone that we are still business dress in the office which includes a well-coiffed stem. | 1.3238 | 0.05975 | 105 | 79 | 18 | 8 |
1004 | I'm glad to see we're all of like mind. | 1.3238 | 0.05975 | 105 | 79 | 18 | 8 |
1005 | Ichabod Crane is coming tonight and he wants a new head. | 1.3238 | 0.05975 | 105 | 79 | 18 | 8 |
1006 | I'd just like to pick your brains for a minute. | 1.3235 | 0.05243 | 102 | 72 | 27 | 3 |
1007 | ...and the winner of the most oiginal halloween costume is... | 1.3235 | 0.05938 | 102 | 76 | 19 | 7 |
1008 | I'm a self-carved businessman. | 1.3235 | 0.05938 | 102 | 76 | 19 | 7 |
1009 | Trust me, I'm not happy about this either! | 1.3235 | 0.05206 | 136 | 102 | 24 | 10 |
1010 | I'm afraid your services will no longer be needed after October 31st. | 1.3232 | 0.05712 | 99 | 72 | 22 | 5 |
1011 | My friends, I sit before you today as living proof that it really is possible to turn those frowns upside down! | 1.3232 | 0.06553 | 99 | 77 | 12 | 10 |
1012 | Keep on gourd! We’re here to squash the competition. | 1.3232 | 0.06062 | 99 | 74 | 18 | 7 |
1013 | I think we can all agree. Squirrels are biting into our profit.” | 1.3229 | 0.05440 | 96 | 68 | 25 | 3 |
1014 | If earnings don't improve, heads will roll. | 1.3229 | 0.06194 | 96 | 72 | 17 | 7 |
1015 | I need you to think outside the patch. | 1.3229 | 0.06194 | 96 | 72 | 17 | 7 |
1016 | We are pleased to announce that HR specialists Peter Peter LLC will help ease us through the downsizing operation. | 1.3229 | 0.06194 | 96 | 72 | 17 | 7 |
1017 | Assuming no objections, I hereby renew my position as Chairman of the Gourd. | 1.3229 | 0.05829 | 96 | 70 | 21 | 5 |
1018 | Rot or not, we do expect you all to be here on November 1st. | 1.3229 | 0.05638 | 96 | 69 | 23 | 4 |
1019 | Musk is making an offer to acquire Halloween." | 1.3228 | 0.05688 | 127 | 98 | 17 | 12 |
1020 | We're throwing out the whole Board at the end of the month. | 1.3226 | 0.06146 | 93 | 69 | 18 | 6 |
1021 | Keep us this attitude and I’ll be forced to make more cuts. | 1.3226 | 0.05953 | 93 | 68 | 20 | 5 |
1022 | Tomorrow, I want to see everyone carve those frowns into smiles. | 1.3226 | 0.05753 | 93 | 67 | 22 | 4 |
1023 | I have great news. Our next contract includes dental care. | 1.3226 | 0.05953 | 93 | 68 | 20 | 5 |
1024 | I’m going to need more seed money from each of you. | 1.3226 | 0.05753 | 93 | 67 | 22 | 4 |
1025 | Gentlemen,corporate is looking to make some additional cuts | 1.3223 | 0.05532 | 121 | 91 | 21 | 9 |
1026 | Let's skip announcing our preferred pronouns and get down to business.... | 1.3223 | 0.05655 | 121 | 92 | 19 | 10 |
1027 | I’m glad we all chose to wear pumpkins on our head today, but why am I the only one grinning? | 1.3222 | 0.06286 | 90 | 67 | 17 | 6 |
1028 | Where's Potato Head? | 1.3222 | 0.06286 | 90 | 67 | 17 | 6 |
1029 | It has come to the shareholders’ attention that there are more Jack’s than women on the board | 1.3220 | 0.05367 | 118 | 87 | 24 | 7 |
1030 | A cyberattack exploited weaknesses in our face id system" | 1.3218 | 0.06436 | 87 | 65 | 16 | 6 |
1031 | I can't believe we all wore the same costume again this year. | 1.3218 | 0.06436 | 87 | 65 | 16 | 6 |
1032 | Today, pumpkin spice. Tomorrow, the world! | 1.3217 | 0.05599 | 115 | 86 | 21 | 8 |
1033 | Look, let’s not lose our heads over this. | 1.3214 | 0.05560 | 112 | 83 | 22 | 7 |
1034 | I've noticed that no matter what I say your expressions never change. | 1.3214 | 0.06144 | 84 | 61 | 19 | 4 |
1035 | We’re being replaced by apple spice lattes. We need new ideas! | 1.3214 | 0.05703 | 112 | 84 | 20 | 8 |
1036 | I'd guess you'll survive a week | 1.3214 | 0.06374 | 84 | 62 | 17 | 5 |
1037 | The Competition can't hold a candle to us! | 1.3211 | 0.05028 | 109 | 77 | 29 | 3 |
1038 | Well boys it's the end of the month and we are gonna have to start letting you all go. | 1.3211 | 0.05956 | 109 | 83 | 17 | 9 |
1039 | There’s going to be some restructuring come November 1st. | 1.3210 | 0.05507 | 81 | 56 | 24 | 1 |
1040 | H.R. says our lack of diversity is a big problem. | 1.3208 | 0.05773 | 106 | 79 | 20 | 7 |
1041 | Listen, we’re all pumpkins here. You’re gonna just have to trust me. | 1.3208 | 0.05453 | 106 | 77 | 24 | 5 |
1042 | Good news! We’re now part of Starbucks. Unfortunately, this means some of you may be spiced this fall. | 1.3208 | 0.05927 | 106 | 80 | 18 | 8 |
1043 | We need some spice in this boardroom! | 1.3205 | 0.06450 | 78 | 57 | 17 | 4 |
1044 | Some of you may not be cut out for this job. | 1.3205 | 0.05911 | 78 | 55 | 21 | 2 |
1045 | I am very pleased to announce our newest board member, Peter Peter. | 1.3204 | 0.06048 | 103 | 78 | 17 | 8 |
1046 | Let's come up with another plan besides squashing the competition. | 1.3204 | 0.05888 | 103 | 77 | 19 | 7 |
1047 | ...And I can promise you this, if you don't make your October quotas heads will roll here at Sleepy Hollow Industries! | 1.3203 | 0.05426 | 128 | 97 | 21 | 10 |
1048 | I don't need any self-tanner for my Donald Trump costume. | 1.3200 | 0.06886 | 75 | 56 | 14 | 5 |
1049 | We need better ideas. You all have mush for brains! | 1.3200 | 0.05664 | 100 | 73 | 22 | 5 |
1050 | Right now, your heads are your biggest asset. | 1.3200 | 0.06176 | 100 | 76 | 16 | 8 |
1051 | Jack’s right. Pie it is. | 1.3200 | 0.05664 | 100 | 73 | 22 | 5 |
1052 | Our costume party should be fun; I would just ask that you try to be original. | 1.3200 | 0.05840 | 100 | 74 | 20 | 6 |
1053 | I propose we settle this on the squash court | 1.3200 | 0.06620 | 75 | 55 | 16 | 4 |
1054 | What you call brainstorming I call squash! | 1.3196 | 0.05961 | 97 | 72 | 19 | 6 |
1055 | Carve for the job you want, not the job you have. | 1.3196 | 0.05589 | 97 | 70 | 23 | 4 |
1056 | On a side note, it seems like none of our employees are taking advantage of their dental allowance." | 1.3191 | 0.06275 | 94 | 71 | 16 | 7 |
1057 | And this year’s winner for best costume goes to Gord. | 1.3191 | 0.05702 | 94 | 68 | 22 | 4 |
1058 | On the brighter side, gentlemen, we are now represented in every product at Trader Joe's! | 1.3191 | 0.06630 | 94 | 73 | 12 | 9 |
1059 | There can only be one Great Pumpkin. | 1.3191 | 0.06630 | 94 | 73 | 12 | 9 |
1060 | Effective November 1st, we are getting into the pie business. | 1.3191 | 0.05899 | 94 | 69 | 20 | 5 |
1061 | Why so glum? You will live on in pies. | 1.3190 | 0.05821 | 116 | 89 | 17 | 10 |
1062 | Put that spice in coffee, candles, muffins, whatever. No one listened. Now, who's out of their gourd? | 1.3190 | 0.05821 | 116 | 89 | 17 | 10 |
1063 | As you know we'll be downsizing at the end of the month... | 1.3187 | 0.06420 | 91 | 69 | 15 | 7 |
1064 | The good and bad news is, our profit on pie is soaring! | 1.3186 | 0.05659 | 113 | 85 | 20 | 8 |
1065 | Does it look like Jack had some work done to you? Something about that smile looks freshly carved… | 1.3186 | 0.05797 | 113 | 86 | 18 | 9 |
1066 | This year's office party will have a carving station. | 1.3182 | 0.06373 | 88 | 66 | 16 | 6 |
1067 | Good news, so let's carve those frowns upside down! | 1.3182 | 0.04991 | 110 | 78 | 29 | 3 |
1068 | Jack,what do you think? | 1.3182 | 0.05766 | 110 | 83 | 19 | 8 |
1069 | Jack, we'd like you to be the face of the business. | 1.3182 | 0.05949 | 88 | 64 | 20 | 4 |
1070 | Market forecasts show our future’s in pies. | 1.3182 | 0.06574 | 88 | 67 | 14 | 7 |
1071 | who votes for pie? | 1.3178 | 0.05879 | 107 | 81 | 18 | 8 |
1072 | Good morning. My name is Peter. | 1.3178 | 0.05727 | 107 | 80 | 20 | 7 |
1073 | Gentlemen, I don't need to remind you that it's a scary time of the year | 1.3178 | 0.05727 | 107 | 80 | 20 | 7 |
1074 | So, any ideas on how we make Halloween last more than one night a year? | 1.3178 | 0.05410 | 107 | 78 | 24 | 5 |
1075 | This is what happens when you spill your guts to the newspapers. | 1.3176 | 0.06083 | 85 | 62 | 19 | 4 |
1076 | Bob, since your stem fell off, your head will be rotten before the next meeting. | 1.3176 | 0.06083 | 85 | 62 | 19 | 4 |
1077 | I'm proud to announce our new dental benefits! | 1.3176 | 0.06309 | 85 | 63 | 17 | 5 |
1078 | Today,ladies & gentlemen,the company is pivoting from Halloween to Pie! | 1.3173 | 0.05511 | 104 | 76 | 23 | 5 |
1079 | Seriously, guys, has it been a year since we got lit? | 1.3173 | 0.05840 | 104 | 78 | 19 | 7 |
1080 | Let's discuss seed capital | 1.3173 | 0.05840 | 104 | 78 | 19 | 7 |
1081 | Who's up for pie? | 1.3171 | 0.06915 | 82 | 63 | 12 | 7 |
1082 | Let’s pretend Elon bought us! | 1.3171 | 0.06464 | 82 | 61 | 16 | 5 |
1083 | Alright. Enlighten me. | 1.3171 | 0.06464 | 82 | 61 | 16 | 5 |
1084 | I can't help being optimistic. I was just carved that way. | 1.3168 | 0.05790 | 101 | 75 | 20 | 6 |
1085 | Second place gets a set of steak knives. | 1.3168 | 0.05617 | 101 | 74 | 22 | 5 |
1086 | To ensure diversity, some of you will be replaced by cantaloupes. | 1.3168 | 0.05959 | 101 | 76 | 18 | 7 |
1087 | At the end of October, I want everyone to stop using self tanning cream. | 1.3168 | 0.06282 | 101 | 78 | 14 | 9 |
1088 | We need to find ways to become relevant the other eleven months of the year. | 1.3168 | 0.05617 | 101 | 74 | 22 | 5 |
1089 | Now we all know November is a rotten month… | 1.3168 | 0.05959 | 101 | 76 | 18 | 7 |
1090 | Let's get started everyone, I can see we all aquired the October variant. Do we see this going viral? | 1.3168 | 0.05959 | 101 | 76 | 18 | 7 |
1091 | now this won’t be easy to hear, but many of us may not be here come November | 1.3168 | 0.06123 | 101 | 77 | 16 | 8 |
1092 | Listen, gunk-for-brains: finish the project by October 31st or heads will roll. | 1.3167 | 0.05549 | 120 | 91 | 20 | 9 |
1093 | I am happy to announce that I will be your new Chairman of the Gourd! | 1.3165 | 0.06630 | 79 | 59 | 15 | 5 |
1094 | This year, I propose a bigger PR campaign than just Linus. | 1.3165 | 0.06381 | 79 | 58 | 17 | 4 |
1095 | I’m afraid we’ll have to face more cuts. | 1.3165 | 0.06381 | 79 | 58 | 17 | 4 |
1096 | I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting...so am I. My mind's blank. | 1.3163 | 0.06421 | 98 | 76 | 13 | 9 |
1097 | As the Chaiman of the Gourd I've carved out some time to squash the rumors. | 1.3163 | 0.06255 | 98 | 75 | 15 | 8 |
1098 | Let's not have any empty-headed remarks today, okay? | 1.3163 | 0.05909 | 98 | 73 | 19 | 6 |
1099 | Doesn’t matter how much spiced latte they sell. We’re still part of the freakin’ squash family. | 1.3163 | 0.05728 | 98 | 72 | 21 | 5 |
1100 | Anyone have an original idea? | 1.3163 | 0.06255 | 98 | 75 | 15 | 8 |
1101 | Thanks to all of you for making this year's Holiday Bake Sale a big success. | 1.3162 | 0.04953 | 117 | 84 | 29 | 4 |
1102 | Let's carve out some time to meet next week. | 1.3158 | 0.05185 | 114 | 83 | 26 | 5 |
1103 | I guess you can go far with a smile on your face - and a candle in your head. | 1.3158 | 0.05185 | 114 | 83 | 26 | 5 |
1104 | So, Jack, what do you think? | 1.3158 | 0.05986 | 76 | 54 | 20 | 2 |
1105 | Good News! We've bought twitter! | 1.3158 | 0.05753 | 114 | 87 | 18 | 9 |
1106 | Let's talk turkey! | 1.3158 | 0.06035 | 95 | 71 | 18 | 6 |
1107 | So,what are we wearing for Halloween? | 1.3158 | 0.05652 | 95 | 69 | 22 | 4 |
1108 | This switch to electric candles will make us carbon neutral by 2035. | 1.3158 | 0.06272 | 76 | 55 | 18 | 3 |
1109 | What this company needs is somebody with guts. | 1.3152 | 0.05769 | 92 | 67 | 21 | 4 |
1110 | Remember, we're not looking to scare away investors. | 1.3152 | 0.06169 | 92 | 69 | 17 | 6 |
1111 | Let's welcome the guy without a stem on his head to our Diversity Committee! | 1.3151 | 0.06723 | 73 | 54 | 15 | 4 |
1112 | Now, who's up for getting smashed and eating pie?" | 1.3148 | 0.05368 | 108 | 79 | 24 | 5 |
1113 | Anyone have a bright idea? | 1.3148 | 0.05527 | 108 | 80 | 22 | 6 |
1114 | I wasn’t carved yesterday you know…. | 1.3148 | 0.05831 | 108 | 82 | 18 | 8 |
1115 | Same as all my good ideas, it's like a candle went off in my head... | 1.3148 | 0.05204 | 108 | 78 | 26 | 4 |
1116 | ‘Pumpkins that underperform will be Pie’. | 1.3148 | 0.05527 | 108 | 80 | 22 | 6 |
1117 | By the look on your faces, I am sensing some tension in the room. | 1.3146 | 0.05892 | 89 | 65 | 20 | 4 |
1118 | We are going to smash expectations! | 1.3146 | 0.05892 | 89 | 65 | 20 | 4 |
1119 | Please put your name tags on. | 1.3143 | 0.05120 | 105 | 75 | 27 | 3 |
1120 | From your expressions, you already heard that we're downsizing. | 1.3140 | 0.06462 | 86 | 65 | 15 | 6 |
1121 | Just once I'd like to see one of your heads light up with a good idea. | 1.3140 | 0.06670 | 86 | 66 | 13 | 7 |
1122 | We'll be making some cuts. | 1.3137 | 0.05393 | 102 | 74 | 24 | 4 |
1123 | Chin up, children! Remember, no one can hold a candle like you. | 1.3137 | 0.05393 | 102 | 74 | 24 | 4 |
1124 | You guys poured your guts out last year and it was a smashing success, but this year I really want us to carve our place in history! | 1.3137 | 0.05742 | 102 | 76 | 20 | 6 |
1125 | You've all been transferred to our new Thanksgiving pie division. | 1.3136 | 0.05607 | 118 | 90 | 19 | 9 |
1126 | Chuck drew the short stem, and I said heads would roll... | 1.3133 | 0.06164 | 83 | 61 | 18 | 4 |
1127 | Don't think for a second that I'm happy with the results. I'm just carved that way. | 1.3133 | 0.06397 | 83 | 62 | 16 | 5 |
1128 | If we only had a brain! | 1.3133 | 0.06397 | 83 | 62 | 16 | 5 |
1129 | Any other bright ideas? | 1.3131 | 0.05679 | 99 | 73 | 21 | 5 |
1130 | Why the sad faces? Two weeks from now all your worries will be over! | 1.3131 | 0.06031 | 99 | 75 | 17 | 7 |
1131 | Someone here doesn't have a stem! | 1.3131 | 0.06031 | 99 | 75 | 17 | 7 |
1132 | At least we don't look like clowns anymore | 1.3131 | 0.06031 | 99 | 75 | 17 | 7 |
1133 | No idea will be squashed. | 1.3130 | 0.05293 | 115 | 85 | 24 | 6 |
1134 | It appears that no one got the “happy face” memo. | 1.3125 | 0.05981 | 96 | 72 | 18 | 6 |
1135 | All of you with frowns are to report to the bakery ASAP. | 1.3125 | 0.06162 | 96 | 73 | 16 | 7 |
1136 | You'll all get a share of the pie. | 1.3125 | 0.05981 | 96 | 72 | 18 | 6 |
1137 | It's a win-win. This way we can reduce head count AND keep our jobs! | 1.3125 | 0.05234 | 112 | 82 | 25 | 5 |
1138 | Don't worry. Downsizing will be as easy as pie. | 1.3125 | 0.05234 | 112 | 82 | 25 | 5 |
1139 | Casual friday means something different in October | 1.3125 | 0.05386 | 112 | 83 | 23 | 6 |
1140 | Succession? None of you can hold a candle to me! | 1.3125 | 0.05602 | 96 | 70 | 22 | 4 |
1141 | Good news! We’ve just added spiced latte to your retirement package. | 1.3125 | 0.05677 | 112 | 85 | 19 | 8 |
1142 | Today I am announcing another cut in administration. | 1.3125 | 0.06162 | 96 | 73 | 16 | 7 |
1143 | As your new CEO’Lantern I’m announcing cuts to all department heads. | 1.3125 | 0.06559 | 80 | 60 | 15 | 5 |
1144 | Orange you glad I didn’t say “banana?” | 1.3125 | 0.06087 | 112 | 88 | 13 | 11 |
1145 | If we want to survive past Q4, we’re gonna need more guts. | 1.3125 | 0.05602 | 96 | 70 | 22 | 4 |
1146 | Listen carefully, or you'll all be turned to pulp. | 1.3119 | 0.05636 | 109 | 82 | 20 | 7 |
1147 | I’m sure you all saw the email about our new diversity and equity inclusion initiative. | 1.3119 | 0.05636 | 109 | 82 | 20 | 7 |
1148 | Great news!!!... we're all invited as special guests to the White House pumpkin carving contest next week. They'll be giving us our bonuses right after dinner! | 1.3118 | 0.06111 | 93 | 70 | 17 | 6 |
1149 | I've decided, I identify as an apple | 1.3118 | 0.06111 | 93 | 70 | 17 | 6 |
1150 | Gourd morning, thank you for carving out time for another meeting that could have been an email. | 1.3118 | 0.05716 | 93 | 68 | 21 | 4 |
1151 | Now, I have some gourd news, and some bad news | 1.3117 | 0.06203 | 77 | 56 | 18 | 3 |
1152 | The Repumpklican Party | 1.3117 | 0.06732 | 77 | 58 | 14 | 5 |
1153 | Your pay rise will go into effect on November 1st | 1.3115 | 0.05592 | 122 | 94 | 18 | 10 |
1154 | Well Gentlemen, the Owner has decided we're just too Top-Heavy | 1.3115 | 0.05216 | 122 | 91 | 24 | 7 |
1155 | Now that Halloween is over, I'm afraid you're all being transferred to the Thanksgiving department. | 1.3113 | 0.06196 | 106 | 83 | 13 | 10 |
1156 | I’ve got an idea that’s sure to light up your faces! | 1.3113 | 0.05423 | 106 | 78 | 23 | 5 |
1157 | Let's carve out a solution here. | 1.3111 | 0.06250 | 90 | 68 | 16 | 6 |
1158 | I want to light a fire in each and every one of you. | 1.3111 | 0.05837 | 90 | 66 | 20 | 4 |
1159 | I’d like to thank you all for carving out your place at this meeting. | 1.3111 | 0.06047 | 90 | 67 | 18 | 5 |
1160 | Thank you Jack, now let's hear what Jack and Jack have been working on this week. | 1.3111 | 0.06637 | 90 | 70 | 12 | 8 |
1161 | Jones, why don't you have a stem? | 1.3111 | 0.06047 | 90 | 67 | 18 | 5 |
1162 | Let’s be real: it’s time to carve your enthusiasm. | 1.3111 | 0.06250 | 90 | 68 | 16 | 6 |
1163 | Surely one of you must have a rhyme for orange. | 1.3108 | 0.06360 | 74 | 54 | 17 | 3 |
1164 | Projections for the fourth quarter are rotten. | 1.3108 | 0.06645 | 74 | 55 | 15 | 4 |
1165 | Our competitions is carving us up. | 1.3107 | 0.05694 | 103 | 77 | 20 | 6 |
1166 | For the upcoming company party, we're going to need two of you for pies. | 1.3107 | 0.05694 | 103 | 77 | 20 | 6 |
1167 | This annual carnage needs to stop! | 1.3107 | 0.05858 | 103 | 78 | 18 | 7 |
1168 | Let’s all put on a happy face. | 1.3103 | 0.06185 | 87 | 65 | 17 | 5 |
1169 | Which brings me to the next item....diversity in the board room. | 1.3100 | 0.05808 | 100 | 75 | 19 | 6 |
1170 | On the count of three, everyone smile! | 1.3100 | 0.05449 | 100 | 73 | 23 | 4 |
1171 | I’m looking at a group gutless yes men. Excellent. Let’s begin. | 1.3100 | 0.05979 | 100 | 76 | 17 | 7 |
1172 | Gentlemen, PI is still 22/7ths, pumpkin or geometric, doesn't matter | 1.3099 | 0.06213 | 71 | 51 | 18 | 2 |
1173 | Is it me, or is it hot in here? | 1.3099 | 0.07118 | 71 | 54 | 12 | 5 |
1174 | I'm not surprised Clay didn't make it to our meeting this morning. He was smashed last night. | 1.3097 | 0.05195 | 113 | 83 | 25 | 5 |
1175 | Any other empty-headed suggestions? | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
1176 | It’s easy as pie, gentleman. | 1.3095 | 0.05861 | 84 | 61 | 20 | 3 |
1177 | Don't worry, you all made the cut. | 1.3095 | 0.05350 | 84 | 59 | 24 | 1 |
1178 | If we can repeat October's sales figures this month, we just might save this company | 1.3095 | 0.06332 | 84 | 63 | 16 | 5 |
1179 | Finally, it is pretty obvious we need to hire a DEAI Director. | 1.3095 | 0.06554 | 84 | 64 | 14 | 6 |
1180 | Good News: We're all approved Emojis | 1.3095 | 0.06332 | 84 | 63 | 16 | 5 |
1181 | Before we start todays meeting of the Illuminati, did anyone bring the candy corn? | 1.3093 | 0.05744 | 97 | 72 | 20 | 5 |
1182 | Let’s put on our happy faces! | 1.3093 | 0.05928 | 97 | 73 | 18 | 6 |
1183 | Welcome to your annual candle safety training sessions! | 1.3093 | 0.05152 | 97 | 69 | 26 | 2 |
1184 | They’ll have our heads. | 1.3093 | 0.05744 | 97 | 72 | 20 | 5 |
1185 | When i said i wanted to light a fire inside of you all i MEANT it! | 1.3093 | 0.05744 | 97 | 72 | 20 | 5 |
1186 | Donald Trump lookalikes gather for a secret meeting with the boss; should be illuminating. | 1.3093 | 0.05744 | 97 | 72 | 20 | 5 |
1187 | What's the issue with our corporate diversity policy? | 1.3091 | 0.05739 | 110 | 84 | 18 | 8 |
1188 | As a result of our recent stalk collapse, we must cut staff and yes heads will roll. | 1.3091 | 0.05441 | 110 | 82 | 22 | 6 |
1189 | Between all of us, we should be able to carve out a solution. | 1.3086 | 0.06489 | 81 | 61 | 15 | 5 |
1190 | We're seeing record demand for pie. Everyone will have to pitch in. | 1.3086 | 0.06246 | 81 | 60 | 17 | 4 |
1191 | It looks like pies for the lot of you. | 1.3085 | 0.05665 | 94 | 69 | 21 | 4 |
1192 | First things first, who dared order the pumpkin spice lattes?!?! | 1.3085 | 0.05665 | 94 | 69 | 21 | 4 |
1193 | Look, I know a guy who works miracles with a knife..." | 1.3085 | 0.05863 | 94 | 70 | 19 | 5 |
1194 | I move we adjourn before our brains turn to mush. | 1.3085 | 0.05459 | 94 | 68 | 23 | 3 |
1195 | We're developing a comprehensive plan to avoid getting smashed after the holiday season. | 1.3085 | 0.05665 | 94 | 69 | 21 | 4 |
1196 | Congratulations on squashing the competition’s takeover bid. | 1.3084 | 0.05541 | 107 | 80 | 21 | 6 |
1197 | I found a great Botox place.... | 1.3084 | 0.05379 | 107 | 79 | 23 | 5 |
1198 | Damn, orange looks good on everybody. | 1.3083 | 0.05265 | 120 | 90 | 23 | 7 |
1199 | I'm open to any gourd ideas, Jacks. | 1.3077 | 0.05782 | 91 | 67 | 20 | 4 |
1200 | I thought all of you would be lit up by the news! | 1.3077 | 0.06402 | 78 | 58 | 16 | 4 |
1201 | What happens in the gourdroom, stays in the gourdroom. | 1.3077 | 0.05216 | 117 | 87 | 24 | 6 |
1202 | Let’s not lose our heads…Halloween is just around the corner. | 1.3077 | 0.05647 | 104 | 78 | 20 | 6 |
1203 | Nice to see you all without masks on this year! | 1.3077 | 0.06657 | 78 | 59 | 14 | 5 |
1204 | Although we come from different places, we all have something in common. | 1.3077 | 0.06402 | 78 | 58 | 16 | 4 |
1205 | I hear your concerns on the squirrels, but let’s circle back on that closer to Thanksgiving | 1.3077 | 0.05624 | 117 | 90 | 18 | 9 |
1206 | Thank you all for joining our quarterly Gourd of Directors meeting. | 1.3077 | 0.05990 | 91 | 68 | 18 | 5 |
1207 | We now control Halloween, so it’s time to take stock in Thanksgiving. | 1.3069 | 0.05403 | 101 | 74 | 23 | 4 |
1208 | One of you will be the next leader. The rest will be pies. | 1.3069 | 0.05403 | 101 | 74 | 23 | 4 |
1209 | This year, let's skip the 4th of July window displays and just go right to Halloween. If Christmas can start in September, we can start in July. | 1.3068 | 0.05682 | 88 | 64 | 21 | 3 |
1210 | Today we carve a new path. | 1.3068 | 0.05202 | 88 | 62 | 25 | 1 |
1211 | You’ll all be happy to know that full dental benefits are included in next year’s compensation package. | 1.3068 | 0.06124 | 88 | 66 | 17 | 5 |
1212 | After this, let's get smashed. | 1.3067 | 0.07096 | 75 | 58 | 11 | 6 |
1213 | I know just how to put smiles on your faces. | 1.3061 | 0.06390 | 98 | 77 | 12 | 9 |
1214 | I too was stumped but then a candle went off in my head. | 1.3061 | 0.05694 | 98 | 73 | 20 | 5 |
1215 | On the count of three everyone named “Jack” light up! | 1.3061 | 0.05506 | 98 | 72 | 22 | 4 |
1216 | No guts, no glory. | 1.3061 | 0.05506 | 98 | 72 | 22 | 4 |
1217 | I’m afraid I will no longer be requiring your services after 1 November | 1.3061 | 0.06052 | 98 | 75 | 16 | 7 |
1218 | Fortunately apple pie remains the nation’s favorite. | 1.3061 | 0.05311 | 98 | 71 | 24 | 3 |
1219 | Much more important than greed, nepotism is good. | 1.3059 | 0.05803 | 85 | 62 | 20 | 3 |
1220 | First to present will be Jack. | 1.3059 | 0.06487 | 85 | 65 | 14 | 6 |
1221 | I fear that we've become a shell of our true selves. | 1.3059 | 0.05803 | 85 | 62 | 20 | 3 |
1222 | What about pies depresses you all? | 1.3059 | 0.05803 | 85 | 62 | 20 | 3 |
1223 | We’ve been asked to donate to the pie-eating contest. | 1.3059 | 0.06040 | 85 | 63 | 18 | 4 |
1224 | Let me recarve that. | 1.3059 | 0.05803 | 85 | 62 | 20 | 3 |
1225 | For a minute, can we all stop being so empty-headed? | 1.3059 | 0.05803 | 85 | 62 | 20 | 3 |
1226 | Sorry everybody… it’s been a good run but pumpkin spice is officially done. | 1.3058 | 0.04958 | 121 | 89 | 27 | 5 |
1227 | Does anyone want a Starbucks? | 1.3056 | 0.06141 | 72 | 52 | 18 | 2 |
1228 | We obviously have no board diversity requirement, but it’s concerning that we’re all named Jack. | 1.3056 | 0.05497 | 108 | 81 | 21 | 6 |
1229 | Jack I don’t think introductions are necessary. | 1.3056 | 0.05337 | 108 | 80 | 23 | 5 |
1230 | Don’t be alarmed but we were just acquired by a major pie-making company. | 1.3056 | 0.05803 | 108 | 83 | 17 | 8 |
1231 | I know you’re all upset that my father left me the company, but I am the next of pump-kin. | 1.3053 | 0.05810 | 95 | 71 | 19 | 5 |
1232 | You all need to work on your affect this year | 1.3053 | 0.05614 | 95 | 70 | 21 | 4 |
1233 | Come on now, turn those frowns upside down. | 1.3053 | 0.06000 | 95 | 72 | 17 | 6 |
1234 | I’m sorry, it’s rotten, but we have to make cuts. | 1.3049 | 0.06181 | 82 | 61 | 17 | 4 |
1235 | ...and since it's not a requirement to look like a pumpkin to own the company, let's entertain Mr. Musk's offer. | 1.3049 | 0.05933 | 82 | 60 | 19 | 3 |
1236 | Some of us are cut out for this kind of work. You might say we have a fire inside of us. | 1.3049 | 0.06181 | 82 | 61 | 17 | 4 |
1237 | I’m looking for a volunteer for the pumpkin soup. | 1.3048 | 0.05434 | 105 | 78 | 22 | 5 |
1238 | Four words, gentlemen: pumpkin, spice, nasal, spray. | 1.3043 | 0.05934 | 92 | 69 | 18 | 5 |
1239 | Why all the grim faces? | 1.3043 | 0.05517 | 92 | 67 | 22 | 3 |
1240 | As of November 1st, you're all fired. | 1.3043 | 0.05934 | 92 | 69 | 18 | 5 |
1241 | So, apparently ‘Punkin Head’ from the mail room married the owner’s daughter. | 1.3043 | 0.05934 | 92 | 69 | 18 | 5 |
1242 | Any ideas on how to maintain our relevance as we move into the new year? | 1.3043 | 0.07809 | 69 | 55 | 7 | 7 |
1243 | Anyone hear not named Jack? | 1.3043 | 0.06324 | 92 | 71 | 14 | 7 |
1244 | Who has ideas on how to get ahead? | 1.3043 | 0.05934 | 92 | 69 | 18 | 5 |
1245 | I’m pleased to announce that pumpkin pie is no longer on our lunch menu. | 1.3043 | 0.05517 | 92 | 67 | 22 | 3 |
1246 | Put on a happy face. | 1.3043 | 0.05729 | 92 | 68 | 20 | 4 |
1247 | It the next few weeks expect to be eaten by squirrels, rotting to nothing, then discarded. But first, your thoughts on next year. | 1.3043 | 0.05934 | 92 | 69 | 18 | 5 |
1248 | Let’s not lose our heads over this Pumpkin Late craze. | 1.3039 | 0.05536 | 102 | 76 | 21 | 5 |
1249 | I need you to find 11,780 more votes to keep me from being baked into a pie. | 1.3039 | 0.05877 | 102 | 78 | 17 | 7 |
1250 | I take it that's a "No" vote on having a pumpkin smashing contest at this year's Halloween party? | 1.3039 | 0.05709 | 102 | 77 | 19 | 6 |
1251 | What do you say we go get smashed tonight? | 1.3039 | 0.05709 | 102 | 77 | 19 | 6 |
1252 | Now, let me explain the pie-chart... | 1.3038 | 0.06332 | 79 | 59 | 16 | 4 |
1253 | I see that we are of one mind here. | 1.3038 | 0.05797 | 79 | 57 | 20 | 2 |
1254 | We need ways to escape the image of being so damn seasonal. | 1.3038 | 0.06332 | 79 | 59 | 16 | 4 |
1255 | We've been bought out by Mr. Potato Head! | 1.3038 | 0.06826 | 79 | 61 | 12 | 6 |
1256 | So, which one of you is the diversity consultant? | 1.3038 | 0.06332 | 79 | 59 | 16 | 4 |
1257 | Then it’s settled. We’re going with pecan and apple. | 1.3038 | 0.06332 | 79 | 59 | 16 | 4 |
1258 | I know I've kept you here late, but in my defense, who takes the expression 'turn into a pumpkin' literally | 1.3036 | 0.05649 | 112 | 86 | 18 | 8 |
1259 | So what if we call our company the pumpkin patch? | 1.3034 | 0.05397 | 89 | 64 | 23 | 2 |
1260 | Glad to have everyone back in the office and together again. So let’s turn those frowns upside down!! | 1.3034 | 0.05628 | 89 | 65 | 21 | 3 |
1261 | Let’s nail down the graphics—and remember, no pie charts! | 1.3034 | 0.06472 | 89 | 69 | 13 | 7 |
1262 | Christmas party's coming up in two months, if anyone cares. | 1.3033 | 0.05320 | 122 | 93 | 21 | 8 |
1263 | Why the sad faces? Smashing Pumpkins band is headlining our Halloween party downstairs in the atrium and you're all invited... | 1.3030 | 0.05824 | 99 | 75 | 18 | 6 |
1264 | Jack, thank you for your input. Jack...? | 1.3030 | 0.05266 | 99 | 72 | 24 | 3 |
1265 | Ok, here’s my idea. Human spiced lattes! | 1.3030 | 0.05644 | 99 | 74 | 20 | 5 |
1266 | If we are going to be productive, we can’t all be Jack. | 1.3028 | 0.05607 | 109 | 83 | 19 | 7 |
1267 | Apparently, HR received an anonymous complaint about nepotism… | 1.3028 | 0.05756 | 109 | 84 | 17 | 8 |
1268 | I really appreciate how everyone has gotten on board this month’s holiday theme! | 1.3028 | 0.05607 | 109 | 83 | 19 | 7 |
1269 | And after such a strong October, we’re predicting demand will only continue to rise in November. | 1.3028 | 0.05453 | 109 | 82 | 21 | 6 |
1270 | Next month's loyalty test will be turkey helmets. | 1.3026 | 0.07014 | 76 | 59 | 11 | 6 |
1271 | Wow, you all look so different in person. | 1.3026 | 0.06759 | 76 | 58 | 13 | 5 |
1272 | Anyone want to go get smashed? | 1.3023 | 0.06421 | 86 | 66 | 14 | 6 |
1273 | If you're wondering where Jack is, he's been canned. | 1.3023 | 0.06421 | 86 | 66 | 14 | 6 |
1274 | In the name of diversity call me Donald. | 1.3023 | 0.05980 | 86 | 64 | 18 | 4 |
1275 | Supreme Court of the United States | 1.3023 | 0.06421 | 86 | 66 | 14 | 6 |
1276 | Gourd work everyone. | 1.3021 | 0.05758 | 96 | 72 | 19 | 5 |
1277 | Postponing this discussion until next month is a rotten idea. | 1.3021 | 0.05946 | 96 | 73 | 17 | 6 |
1278 | Use your heads. | 1.3021 | 0.06127 | 96 | 74 | 15 | 7 |
1279 | so we all agree we hire the Spice Girls | 1.3021 | 0.05758 | 96 | 72 | 19 | 5 |
1280 | I don't think you need me to point out that we can expect the next quarter to be soft. | 1.3021 | 0.05565 | 96 | 71 | 21 | 4 |
1281 | Trick or treat. It's right in your contracts. | 1.3021 | 0.06475 | 96 | 76 | 11 | 9 |
1282 | Good news… our pie chart shows a holiday increase! | 1.3021 | 0.05946 | 96 | 73 | 17 | 6 |
1283 | We believe we can copyright that politician's color. | 1.3021 | 0.06127 | 96 | 74 | 15 | 7 |
1284 | I called this meeting to consider the proposed merger with Amalgamated Cantaloupe. | 1.3021 | 0.05946 | 96 | 73 | 17 | 6 |
1285 | from the looks on everyone’s faces, I assume you’ve heard about the restructuring plans. | 1.3021 | 0.05758 | 96 | 72 | 19 | 5 |
1286 | Good news: We’ve had a smashing quarter. Bad news: You’ll be smashed next quarter. | 1.3021 | 0.05758 | 96 | 72 | 19 | 5 |
1287 | This year we will launch a holiday marketing campaign targeting Christmas. | 1.3019 | 0.05555 | 106 | 80 | 20 | 6 |
1288 | Profits are down. One of you is pumpkin pie. | 1.3019 | 0.05714 | 106 | 81 | 18 | 7 |
1289 | I can turn you into respected and well-paid executives, but that only lasts until midnight. | 1.3014 | 0.06376 | 73 | 54 | 16 | 3 |
1290 | I hate to inform that you will not be getting your Halloween Boonus this year | 1.3014 | 0.06668 | 73 | 55 | 14 | 4 |
1291 | Why the glum faces? | 1.3012 | 0.06580 | 83 | 64 | 13 | 6 |
1292 | I fired the CEO and CFO. Peter, Peter starts tomorrow! | 1.3012 | 0.06117 | 83 | 62 | 17 | 4 |
1293 | Smile! | 1.3011 | 0.05677 | 93 | 69 | 20 | 4 |
1294 | You don’t have to call me the Chairman, just the Head Pumpkin | 1.3011 | 0.05879 | 93 | 70 | 18 | 5 |
1295 | ‘We need five volunteers for pumpkin pie.’ | 1.3011 | 0.05467 | 93 | 68 | 22 | 3 |
1296 | Boss, how do we Jack Our Lantern sales up? | 1.3010 | 0.05827 | 103 | 79 | 17 | 7 |
1297 | Now that I have you all here. It's time we discussed the Great Pumpkin visit to the company. | 1.3010 | 0.05132 | 103 | 75 | 25 | 3 |
1298 | Come on, let's put a happy face on it | 1.3010 | 0.05490 | 103 | 77 | 21 | 5 |
1299 | And there will have to be more cuts. | 1.3008 | 0.04751 | 123 | 90 | 29 | 4 |
1300 | Let's patch up all our differences, carve out some time to try to illuminate the problems and make headway before the 31st. | 1.3000 | 0.05596 | 100 | 75 | 20 | 5 |
1301 | Let's give 'em pumpkin to talk about. | 1.3000 | 0.06512 | 80 | 61 | 14 | 5 |
1302 | For some of you it will be lights out. | 1.3000 | 0.06856 | 70 | 53 | 13 | 4 |
1303 | I suggest you carve your frowns upside-downs. | 1.3000 | 0.05596 | 100 | 75 | 20 | 5 |
1304 | We definitely couldn’t have done this on Zoom. | 1.3000 | 0.06007 | 90 | 68 | 17 | 5 |
1305 | We need a good plan for the 31st, any ideas? | 1.3000 | 0.06113 | 100 | 78 | 14 | 8 |
1306 | This is important: I don’t want to see any goofy smiles, or hear any empty headed comments! | 1.3000 | 0.05596 | 100 | 75 | 20 | 5 |
1307 | What's with the empty faces? Lighten up! | 1.3000 | 0.06211 | 90 | 69 | 15 | 6 |
1308 | Boo---who said that | 1.3000 | 0.06512 | 80 | 61 | 14 | 5 |
1309 | I want to focus on our goals for November | 1.3000 | 0.06006 | 80 | 59 | 18 | 3 |
1310 | Corporate layoffs will begin November 1st. | 1.3000 | 0.05563 | 110 | 84 | 19 | 7 |
1311 | All in favor of making Farmer McGregor our honorary chairman, say aye. | 1.3000 | 0.05347 | 90 | 65 | 23 | 2 |
1312 | I'd like to call this gourd meeting to order. | 1.3000 | 0.06007 | 90 | 68 | 17 | 5 |
1313 | I´ve been told that the pumpkins should rot off our heads in a month or two. | 1.3000 | 0.05563 | 110 | 84 | 19 | 7 |
1314 | You’re all Pumpkin Heads to me … But, don’t worry no one else will notice. | 1.3000 | 0.05946 | 100 | 77 | 16 | 7 |
1315 | Jack's the only one with bright ideas. The rest of you have mush and seeds for brains. | 1.3000 | 0.05946 | 100 | 77 | 16 | 7 |
1316 | OK, who called the gourd meeting? | 1.3000 | 0.05222 | 100 | 73 | 24 | 3 |
1317 | Gentlemen, we’re adding a dental plan! | 1.3000 | 0.06409 | 90 | 70 | 13 | 7 |
1318 | Well jack are we getting lit this week | 1.3000 | 0.05596 | 100 | 75 | 20 | 5 |
1319 | The investors are spooked! | 1.3000 | 0.05946 | 100 | 77 | 16 | 7 |
1320 | The Gourd Board meeting is hereby adjourned | 1.3000 | 0.06006 | 80 | 59 | 18 | 3 |
1321 | I’m your new boss—your old boss was promoted to the landfill. | 1.2991 | 0.05855 | 117 | 93 | 13 | 11 |
1322 | Hopefully, you will find my optimism to be infectious. | 1.2991 | 0.05510 | 107 | 81 | 20 | 6 |
1323 | The B shares vote “trick”. | 1.2991 | 0.05667 | 107 | 82 | 18 | 7 |
1324 | We have to make a decision before our heads rot or the squirrels get us | 1.2990 | 0.05317 | 97 | 71 | 23 | 3 |
1325 | Gentlemen,by the end of October we will be a smashing success | 1.2990 | 0.05707 | 97 | 73 | 19 | 5 |
1326 | I’ve got gourd news and bad news for this quarter. | 1.2990 | 0.05516 | 97 | 72 | 21 | 4 |
1327 | Seems this year has been scary enough, we’ve been asked to lighten up a little more. | 1.2990 | 0.05516 | 97 | 72 | 21 | 4 |
1328 | So, who volunteers to have their brains scooped out and eaten this year? | 1.2989 | 0.06143 | 87 | 66 | 16 | 5 |
1329 | Who gets the spice? | 1.2989 | 0.05921 | 87 | 65 | 18 | 4 |
1330 | Now that I own Twitter… | 1.2989 | 0.05921 | 87 | 65 | 18 | 4 |
1331 | The good news is you are all an hour early. The bad news is you are all starting to rot. | 1.2989 | 0.06356 | 87 | 67 | 14 | 6 |
1332 | Listen, I can give you the tools to carve out a plan, but only you can set your face on fire. | 1.2989 | 0.06356 | 87 | 67 | 14 | 6 |
1333 | Thoughts and prayers to those of you who’ve lost loved ones to lattes and pies. | 1.2987 | 0.06421 | 77 | 58 | 15 | 4 |
1334 | Frankly, it goes without saying that our diversity training has been immensely successful. | 1.2987 | 0.06149 | 77 | 57 | 17 | 3 |
1335 | If next quarter’s results don’t improve, heads are going to roll. | 1.2987 | 0.06149 | 77 | 57 | 17 | 3 |
1336 | I've asked Jack to update us on our workplace diversity initiative. | 1.2985 | 0.07372 | 67 | 52 | 10 | 5 |
1337 | Bad news, “Pumpkin” is not the new black. | 1.2985 | 0.06730 | 67 | 50 | 14 | 3 |
1338 | It’s unanimous. We ban Halloween! | 1.2981 | 0.05271 | 104 | 77 | 23 | 4 |
1339 | I've called in our chef to make pumpkin pies! | 1.2981 | 0.05778 | 104 | 80 | 17 | 7 |
1340 | Anybody here want soup, pie, or a spice latte? | 1.2981 | 0.05614 | 104 | 79 | 19 | 6 |
1341 | We’re all smiling now, but we’re limited to seasonal work. | 1.2979 | 0.06205 | 94 | 73 | 14 | 7 |
1342 | Am I the only one smiling? | 1.2979 | 0.06018 | 94 | 72 | 16 | 6 |
1343 | After your recent performance, it's time to smash some heads! | 1.2979 | 0.06018 | 94 | 72 | 16 | 6 |
1344 | Who cares about diversity? | 1.2979 | 0.05202 | 94 | 68 | 24 | 2 |
1345 | The question gentlemen, is what do we hope to accomplish before we start to rot and deer and squirrels eat what's left of our brains? | 1.2979 | 0.05825 | 94 | 71 | 18 | 5 |
1346 | I’m afraid some of you are not going to make it past Thanksgiving | 1.2979 | 0.06205 | 94 | 73 | 14 | 7 |
1347 | C'mon, lets turn those frowns upside down! | 1.2979 | 0.05825 | 94 | 71 | 18 | 5 |
1348 | Smile, guys. We just cornered the candy corn market! | 1.2979 | 0.05625 | 94 | 70 | 20 | 4 |
1349 | we need to carve a niche | 1.2976 | 0.06055 | 84 | 63 | 17 | 4 |
1350 | Starting in November you will address me as Jacqueline-o'-lantern. | 1.2976 | 0.06938 | 84 | 67 | 9 | 8 |
1351 | Okay, first, maybe you could all put on a happy face. | 1.2976 | 0.05813 | 84 | 62 | 19 | 3 |
1352 | On the plus side, we're still ahead of the Thanksgiving turkey! | 1.2976 | 0.05813 | 84 | 62 | 19 | 3 |
1353 | Okay boys, DEI says we need to bring in the witches. | 1.2976 | 0.05813 | 84 | 62 | 19 | 3 |
1354 | If they think that we are rotten now, just wait until mid November after all the ballots are counted. | 1.2973 | 0.06865 | 74 | 57 | 12 | 5 |
1355 | Of all the empty headed suggestions. | 1.2973 | 0.06303 | 74 | 55 | 16 | 3 |
1356 | We hit a rough patch and must let some of you go. | 1.2973 | 0.06865 | 74 | 57 | 12 | 5 |
1357 | All of you are invited to the annual squash tournament this year. | 1.2970 | 0.05548 | 101 | 76 | 20 | 5 |
1358 | Perfect, enough for ten pies! | 1.2970 | 0.05548 | 101 | 76 | 20 | 5 |
1359 | Yeah, well, I guess I had a big advantage when they carved a smile on my face. | 1.2970 | 0.05367 | 101 | 75 | 22 | 4 |
1360 | Who wants to volunteer for the compost committee. | 1.2970 | 0.05894 | 101 | 78 | 16 | 7 |
1361 | Always the maverick, Kevin from accounting did not raise his stem | 1.2970 | 0.05548 | 101 | 76 | 20 | 5 |
1362 | . “Now on a lighter note: Turn those frowns upside down. It’s Halloween!” | 1.2970 | 0.06060 | 101 | 79 | 14 | 8 |
1363 | Are there no flickers left in those empty heads of yours? | 1.2967 | 0.05949 | 91 | 69 | 17 | 5 |
1364 | What do you say we go electric? | 1.2967 | 0.05524 | 91 | 67 | 21 | 3 |
1365 | I Come to enlighten you | 1.2967 | 0.05524 | 91 | 67 | 21 | 3 |
1366 | Don’t worry gentlemen, the pumpkin should rot off of our heads in a month or two | 1.2967 | 0.05949 | 91 | 69 | 17 | 5 |
1367 | Why the glum faces? It’s literally our only profitable month! | 1.2963 | 0.06442 | 81 | 62 | 14 | 5 |
1368 | I was the only one carved with a smile, so I'm the only one getting a bonus. | 1.2963 | 0.05465 | 108 | 82 | 20 | 6 |
1369 | Elon Musk's first day at Twitter | 1.2963 | 0.06904 | 81 | 64 | 10 | 7 |
1370 | I may look happy, but I'm very disappointed in all of you." | 1.2963 | 0.06442 | 81 | 62 | 14 | 5 |
1371 | I’d like to liquidate our position in pumpkin spice for moral reasons. | 1.2959 | 0.05468 | 98 | 73 | 21 | 4 |
1372 | We don’t have ears. That’s a problem. | 1.2959 | 0.06017 | 98 | 76 | 15 | 7 |
1373 | Can we all agree that we have much more in common than that which separates us? | 1.2959 | 0.05657 | 98 | 74 | 19 | 5 |
1374 | Ok, who's got a light? | 1.2959 | 0.06017 | 98 | 76 | 15 | 7 |
1375 | Ok boys…I don’t want to hear that any of you are going soft on me. | 1.2959 | 0.05468 | 98 | 73 | 21 | 4 |
1376 | There has been talk that some of us are out of our Gourd … | 1.2959 | 0.05468 | 98 | 73 | 21 | 4 |
1377 | Jack, could you start us off? | 1.2959 | 0.06017 | 98 | 76 | 15 | 7 |
1378 | I think we need to light a fire in each of us! | 1.2958 | 0.07062 | 71 | 55 | 11 | 5 |
1379 | I see someone forgot his stalk. Want to talk about it, Mort??? | 1.2958 | 0.06771 | 71 | 54 | 13 | 4 |
1380 | I don't need to see light bulbs coming on over your heads, but a flicker or two from inside would be nice. | 1.2955 | 0.06082 | 88 | 67 | 16 | 5 |
1381 | Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater has bought our company. | 1.2955 | 0.06293 | 88 | 68 | 14 | 6 |
1382 | Unfortunately, I must warn you that the prospectus we’re about to review does contain pie charts. | 1.2955 | 0.06082 | 88 | 67 | 16 | 5 |
1383 | Somebody has to be Latte this year, volunteer or I’ll choose. | 1.2955 | 0.06082 | 88 | 67 | 16 | 5 |
1384 | Get ready, next month it's turkeys! | 1.2955 | 0.06497 | 88 | 69 | 12 | 7 |
1385 | I’ll be collecting all your candles at the end of this meeting. We have to downsize. | 1.2955 | 0.06293 | 88 | 68 | 14 | 6 |
1386 | The raucous applause heard after the Chairman’s line about lighting a fire in each of them had become a kind of muted disillusionment as he then noted that he’d first need to make a nice stew from their insides. | 1.2955 | 0.05863 | 88 | 66 | 18 | 4 |
1387 | The hospital board's presentation on new seasonal-themed Personal Protective Equipment wasn't as smashing as hoped. Everyone left feeling carved, gutted, and falsely represented. | 1.2955 | 0.06293 | 88 | 68 | 14 | 6 |
1388 | Welcome to the new Gourd Room! | 1.2952 | 0.05228 | 105 | 78 | 23 | 4 |
1389 | I’m afraid you’re all being terminated November 1st. | 1.2952 | 0.05567 | 105 | 80 | 19 | 6 |
1390 | Welcome Twitter team! Today, is your early retirement day! | 1.2952 | 0.05887 | 105 | 82 | 15 | 8 |
1391 | First off, which one of you is Dave? | 1.2952 | 0.05567 | 105 | 80 | 19 | 6 |
1392 | I can't imagine why our company is being accused of nepotism. | 1.2949 | 0.06350 | 78 | 59 | 15 | 4 |
1393 | Okay, go ahead, Jack. No, the other Jack. No, not you, the other, other Jack. Oh, this is getting us nowhere. | 1.2949 | 0.06607 | 78 | 60 | 13 | 5 |
1394 | We gotta stop them from using our dead head to scare thier kind. | 1.2949 | 0.06607 | 78 | 60 | 13 | 5 |
1395 | As a condition of you're employment, you must all legally change your name to Jack. | 1.2947 | 0.06327 | 95 | 75 | 12 | 8 |
1396 | Finally! No more masks this year. | 1.2947 | 0.05157 | 95 | 69 | 24 | 2 |
1397 | We have to finish this meeting before our heads rot | 1.2947 | 0.05772 | 95 | 72 | 18 | 5 |
1398 | And, I'm happy to announce, you're all slated to get smashed on October 31! | 1.2941 | 0.05993 | 85 | 64 | 17 | 4 |
1399 | Welcome to the therapy group for the cruel and unusually mauled. | 1.2941 | 0.06306 | 68 | 50 | 16 | 2 |
1400 | Sorry gentlemen, we don't use pie charts this time of the year. Leo Lane Petaluma, CA | 1.2941 | 0.05755 | 85 | 63 | 19 | 3 |
1401 | I'm sure you've all noticed that things are a little frightening right now. | 1.2941 | 0.06968 | 68 | 52 | 12 | 4 |
1402 | We’ll break now for apple-cider donuts and apple cider or pumpkin-spice lattes. | 1.2941 | 0.05993 | 85 | 64 | 17 | 4 |
1403 | We will all burnout by the end of the month. | 1.2941 | 0.05993 | 85 | 64 | 17 | 4 |
1404 | Let’s get our heads together and carve out a plan | 1.2941 | 0.06306 | 68 | 50 | 16 | 2 |
1405 | HR has informed me that you all called Susan 'pumpkin' again. She's filed complaints. Let's remember our workplace harassment policies... I don't want to have heads roll during our busy season. | 1.2941 | 0.04944 | 102 | 74 | 26 | 2 |
1406 | As chairman of the gourd, I handpicked my team from the best pumpkin patches in the industry | 1.2941 | 0.05675 | 102 | 78 | 18 | 6 |
1407 | Cheer up - these are a lot more comfortable than the Thanksgiving Turkey Heads! | 1.2935 | 0.06093 | 92 | 71 | 15 | 6 |
1408 | So I'm waiting for the train, and this gourd comes up to me. And, you know how gourds have those gross, fucked-up warts all over them? Not all gourds, of course. Just, you know, most of them. Oh, come on. Don't give me that look — you know it's true! | 1.2935 | 0.06286 | 92 | 72 | 13 | 7 |
1409 | ...so at midnight, you will turn into people. | 1.2935 | 0.06286 | 92 | 72 | 13 | 7 |
1410 | Thank you for joining me for our monthly Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion meeting. | 1.2935 | 0.05687 | 92 | 69 | 19 | 4 |
1411 | These are exciting times to be a pumpkin | 1.2935 | 0.06655 | 92 | 74 | 9 | 9 |
1412 | Whose head will decorate my porch THIS YEAR? | 1.2935 | 0.05473 | 92 | 68 | 21 | 3 |
1413 | So, folks, here's the deal. We've got a guy riding around on horseback without a head. Who's in on this? . | 1.2935 | 0.06093 | 92 | 71 | 15 | 6 |
1414 | Lighten up! | 1.2933 | 0.07045 | 75 | 59 | 10 | 6 |
1415 | In todays meeting, I’d like to pick all of your brains. But don’t worry—I’ll roast them with salt for our afternoon snack. | 1.2933 | 0.06785 | 75 | 58 | 12 | 5 |
1416 | Chew over the pie chart. | 1.2931 | 0.05340 | 116 | 89 | 20 | 7 |
1417 | Come on! Whatever happened all those smiling faces. | 1.2929 | 0.05420 | 99 | 74 | 21 | 4 |
1418 | Now, let's hear from Jack. | 1.2929 | 0.05607 | 99 | 75 | 19 | 5 |
1419 | I've hired an expert carver to turn your frowns upside down. | 1.2929 | 0.05607 | 99 | 75 | 19 | 5 |
1420 | This time I mean it. HEADS are going to roll. Literally. | 1.2929 | 0.05227 | 99 | 73 | 23 | 3 |
1421 | As your new CEO I've carved out some time for us to squash recent rumors and patch things up. | 1.2929 | 0.05227 | 99 | 73 | 23 | 3 |
1422 | As CEO, I'm glad to see we all go to Trump's barber. | 1.2929 | 0.05964 | 99 | 77 | 15 | 7 |
1423 | next round of layoffs, heads will roll | 1.2929 | 0.05964 | 99 | 77 | 15 | 7 |
1424 | I don't want to hear any more of this "We don't have a fun workplace culture" anymore, OK? | 1.2929 | 0.05964 | 99 | 77 | 15 | 7 |
1425 | Rest assured I'll squash any ideas you bring to the table. | 1.2927 | 0.06132 | 82 | 62 | 16 | 4 |
1426 | Trick or treat! We'll be making some more personnel cuts! | 1.2927 | 0.05345 | 82 | 59 | 22 | 1 |
1427 | So we are finally suing Cinderella for misrepresenting the Pumpkin society and being part of the anti-pumpkin movement. Who is willing to work on the case ? | 1.2927 | 0.06605 | 82 | 64 | 12 | 6 |
1428 | Turn those frowns upsidedown - by our next meeting. | 1.2925 | 0.05186 | 106 | 79 | 23 | 4 |
1429 | Believe me, I’m just as upset as you are. I’m just carved this way. | 1.2923 | 0.06476 | 65 | 48 | 15 | 2 |
1430 | So, we're in agreement? | 1.2921 | 0.05806 | 89 | 67 | 18 | 4 |
1431 | We're phasing out nutmeg. | 1.2921 | 0.05582 | 89 | 66 | 20 | 3 |
1432 | I wish you’d stop saying ‘“quash the motion.” | 1.2921 | 0.06022 | 89 | 68 | 16 | 5 |
1433 | At least you all know Jack... | 1.2921 | 0.05806 | 89 | 67 | 18 | 4 |
1434 | We are looking for a new CEO , but I'm not sure any of you are cut out for it | 1.2921 | 0.06231 | 89 | 69 | 14 | 6 |
1435 | I want to light a fire in all of you. We’re going to smash it. | 1.2921 | 0.06432 | 89 | 70 | 12 | 7 |
1436 | I regret to inform you…the squirrels have evolved.” | 1.2920 | 0.04978 | 113 | 84 | 25 | 4 |
1437 | Okay, report for fiscal year ending 10-31 | 1.2920 | 0.04877 | 137 | 105 | 24 | 8 |
1438 | We are having pie for lunch. | 1.2917 | 0.06689 | 72 | 55 | 13 | 4 |
1439 | All right then the motion to replace me is squashed. | 1.2917 | 0.06076 | 72 | 53 | 17 | 2 |
1440 | Now, remember not to burn a candle at both ends. | 1.2917 | 0.05524 | 96 | 72 | 20 | 4 |
1441 | Let’s get going; we have a minyan. | 1.2917 | 0.06390 | 72 | 54 | 15 | 3 |
1442 | I understand the interest in Cabo, but the Halloween party will be in Sleepy Hollow again this year. | 1.2917 | 0.05719 | 96 | 73 | 18 | 5 |
1443 | If we put our heads together, we can make Halloween year round” | 1.2917 | 0.05908 | 96 | 74 | 16 | 6 |
1444 | All of you look smashing, pumpkins. | 1.2913 | 0.05278 | 103 | 77 | 22 | 4 |
1445 | The vote is unanimous against a diversity training program. | 1.2911 | 0.06016 | 79 | 59 | 17 | 3 |
1446 | Yes, I’ve lost all our seed money. Blew it on spice. | 1.2911 | 0.06016 | 79 | 59 | 17 | 3 |
1447 | All in favor of making Halloween 8 nights say at. | 1.2911 | 0.06534 | 79 | 61 | 13 | 5 |
1448 | If you prefer to be called "they", please raise your hand. | 1.2911 | 0.06534 | 79 | 61 | 13 | 5 |
1449 | I understand the objection, but pie charts are the most convenient way of presenting the information. | 1.2911 | 0.06280 | 79 | 60 | 15 | 4 |
1450 | For our next meeting, we'll all be wearing turkey heads. | 1.2909 | 0.05681 | 110 | 86 | 16 | 8 |
1451 | Ok. President Trump. We see it the same way! | 1.2909 | 0.05826 | 110 | 87 | 14 | 9 |
1452 | Jacks of all trade | 1.2909 | 0.05059 | 110 | 82 | 24 | 4 |
1453 | I know yesterday was a huge success. But it's now November, and we're downsizing this department. | 1.2907 | 0.05698 | 86 | 64 | 19 | 3 |
1454 | Now that we reached an agreement let's go get lit! | 1.2907 | 0.06159 | 86 | 66 | 15 | 5 |
1455 | We’ve had complaints about leadership diversity | 1.2907 | 0.05698 | 86 | 64 | 19 | 3 |
1456 | Good news! We got the pumpkin spice latte account! | 1.2907 | 0.05933 | 86 | 65 | 17 | 4 |
1457 | This year’s Dental Plan includes a serrated knife | 1.2907 | 0.06159 | 86 | 66 | 15 | 5 |
1458 | Well.. I thought it was funny | 1.2907 | 0.06159 | 86 | 66 | 15 | 5 |
1459 | Morale would improve greatly if you all went ahead and got a smile carved into your face. | 1.2903 | 0.05423 | 93 | 69 | 21 | 3 |
1460 | The diversity committee thinks we need to make some changes. | 1.2903 | 0.05838 | 93 | 71 | 17 | 5 |
1461 | Ok , so any suggestions about what type of pie we can make for the holidays? | 1.2903 | 0.06035 | 93 | 72 | 15 | 6 |
1462 | We’re finally going to show our competitors we’re more than just a bunch of empty talking heads. | 1.2903 | 0.05838 | 93 | 71 | 17 | 5 |
1463 | I’ve been given six months to replace five of you with squash. | 1.2903 | 0.06226 | 93 | 73 | 13 | 7 |
1464 | Grim is good this year! | 1.2900 | 0.05559 | 100 | 76 | 19 | 5 |
1465 | Ok...I see everyone has gotten their assignment for the 31st. Any questions? | 1.2899 | 0.06229 | 69 | 51 | 16 | 2 |
1466 | I'd like to begin this meeting by introducing our newest member, Jack. | 1.2897 | 0.05313 | 107 | 81 | 21 | 5 |
1467 | I've been notified by corporate that we have to cease our parody of Trump! | 1.2895 | 0.07210 | 76 | 61 | 8 | 7 |
1468 | It’s good to see we’re in agreement | 1.2895 | 0.05869 | 76 | 56 | 18 | 2 |
1469 | We are planning to hunt for Ichobod Crane. | 1.2895 | 0.06160 | 76 | 57 | 16 | 3 |
1470 | I’m happy to tell you all we will be working on Monday. | 1.2895 | 0.06439 | 76 | 58 | 14 | 4 |
1471 | I’ve got two tickets for Smashing Pumpkins, any takers? | 1.2895 | 0.06439 | 76 | 58 | 14 | 4 |
1472 | Gentlemen, today we declare war on the seasonal latte industrial complex. | 1.2892 | 0.06068 | 83 | 63 | 16 | 4 |
1473 | If you don't have a smile on your face, maybe you just can't cut it. | 1.2892 | 0.05821 | 83 | 62 | 18 | 3 |
1474 | We have one goal and one goal only. Squash our competition! | 1.2889 | 0.06170 | 90 | 70 | 14 | 6 |
1475 | Jimmy got smashed at the party last night and won’t be joining us. | 1.2889 | 0.05751 | 90 | 68 | 18 | 4 |
1476 | We will see some changes around this table by the end of the month… | 1.2889 | 0.05751 | 90 | 68 | 18 | 4 |
1477 | I won't be showing a pie chart. | 1.2889 | 0.05529 | 90 | 67 | 20 | 3 |
1478 | The corporate pie is getting bigger and you'll all be part of it. | 1.2889 | 0.05964 | 90 | 69 | 16 | 5 |
1479 | FYI— Next month’s theme is Turkeys. | 1.2889 | 0.05751 | 90 | 68 | 18 | 4 |
1480 | Mr Orange, how’s the diversity initiative coming along? | 1.2887 | 0.06035 | 97 | 76 | 14 | 7 |
1481 | All of us gone by Christmas? I don't see it. | 1.2887 | 0.05855 | 97 | 75 | 16 | 6 |
1482 | This year we’re promoting Halloween cheer—although you wouldn’t know it from the look carved on your faces. | 1.2887 | 0.05855 | 97 | 75 | 16 | 6 |
1483 | Nothing major. Just a little Botox. | 1.2887 | 0.05475 | 97 | 73 | 20 | 4 |
1484 | So, I called this meeting because it seems SOME of us have mistaken the spooky Halloween spirit for ‘workplace harassment.’ | 1.2887 | 0.05855 | 97 | 75 | 16 | 6 |
1485 | And of course we will continue our Halloween tradition of allocating smiles to the firm's most highly compensated officers. | 1.2885 | 0.05409 | 104 | 79 | 20 | 5 |
1486 | In any case, it looks like the merger with Christmas is a go. | 1.2885 | 0.05409 | 104 | 79 | 20 | 5 |
1487 | Seasonal fatigue has all feeling a little empty-headed. | 1.2883 | 0.06189 | 111 | 91 | 8 | 12 |
1488 | When great rinds think alike. | 1.2879 | 0.06017 | 66 | 48 | 17 | 1 |
1489 | It appears that this gourd meeting has reached an impasse. | 1.2879 | 0.06392 | 66 | 49 | 15 | 2 |
1490 | If we don’t meet our sales quota next month, heads are gonna roll. | 1.2877 | 0.05335 | 73 | 52 | 21 | 0 |
1491 | My head is part of a new line being released. | 1.2877 | 0.06315 | 73 | 55 | 15 | 3 |
1492 | He called her his little pumpkin and she’s suing for harassment.” | 1.2875 | 0.05952 | 80 | 60 | 17 | 3 |
1493 | Tim realized that without a stem, he wouldn't be taken seriously. | 1.2875 | 0.05952 | 80 | 60 | 17 | 3 |
1494 | I’d like to discuss my carve-out proposal. | 1.2875 | 0.05952 | 80 | 60 | 17 | 3 |
1495 | Please stay firm. Just remember our competitors the plastic pumpkins. | 1.2875 | 0.06462 | 80 | 62 | 13 | 5 |
1496 | Scariest. Gourd meeting. Ever. | 1.2875 | 0.06212 | 80 | 61 | 15 | 4 |
1497 | This ‘Peter Peter’ must be neutralized. | 1.2875 | 0.06462 | 80 | 62 | 13 | 5 |
1498 | Given last week’s debacle, we will no longer have a carving station at the annual company picnic. | 1.2874 | 0.06097 | 87 | 67 | 15 | 5 |
1499 | So glad to see all your faces light up. | 1.2874 | 0.06097 | 87 | 67 | 15 | 5 |
1500 | Our critics don't know Jack. | 1.2874 | 0.06097 | 87 | 67 | 15 | 5 |
1501 | We can't seem to get the pumpkin head filter off of our video. | 1.2874 | 0.06097 | 87 | 67 | 15 | 5 |
1502 | You’re all fired for stealing my costume idea. | 1.2874 | 0.05874 | 87 | 66 | 17 | 4 |
1503 | I assure you all, you'll have your bonuses by Christmas. | 1.2874 | 0.05874 | 87 | 66 | 17 | 4 |
1504 | I believe some of you aren't going to make the cut this year. | 1.2872 | 0.05583 | 94 | 71 | 19 | 4 |
1505 | It’s better than a potato head. | 1.2872 | 0.05583 | 94 | 71 | 19 | 4 |
1506 | Gentlemen, it's November 1st, you're all fired! | 1.2872 | 0.05978 | 94 | 73 | 15 | 6 |
1507 | That's not quite what I had in mind when I asked you to carve out time for this meeting. | 1.2872 | 0.05374 | 94 | 70 | 21 | 3 |
1508 | As chairman,I see no proof our board is not diverse. | 1.2872 | 0.05784 | 94 | 72 | 17 | 5 |
1509 | Well, we made it through another Hallowe’en. And not one of us was devoured by squirrels. | 1.2872 | 0.06167 | 94 | 74 | 13 | 7 |
1510 | No, I haven’t seen the forecast. | 1.2871 | 0.05688 | 101 | 78 | 17 | 6 |
1511 | Well, if that's the case, we'll have to carve out a whole new business plan. | 1.2871 | 0.05328 | 101 | 76 | 21 | 4 |
1512 | We’re downsizing. It will cut our costs 50% and make five pies. Sherry Shuman Morgantown, WV | 1.2871 | 0.05688 | 101 | 78 | 17 | 6 |
1513 | Cheer up, we’ll all be compost by the time the year end numbers tank. | 1.2871 | 0.05139 | 101 | 75 | 23 | 3 |
1514 | Santa’s plotting a hostile takeover and we need to carve out our strategy. | 1.2871 | 0.05511 | 101 | 77 | 19 | 5 |
1515 | First item on the agenda: What to do with our image problem this time of the year? | 1.2870 | 0.05104 | 108 | 81 | 23 | 4 |
1516 | I need you to think outside the gourd" | 1.2857 | 0.06153 | 70 | 52 | 16 | 2 |
1517 | We need someone who thinks outside the patch. | 1.2857 | 0.06366 | 77 | 59 | 14 | 4 |
1518 | Item one on today’s agenda- hiring a diversity officer. | 1.2857 | 0.05802 | 98 | 76 | 16 | 6 |
1519 | Now we know loose candy corn isn't exactly what you all had in mind for your holiday bonus... | 1.2857 | 0.06366 | 77 | 59 | 14 | 4 |
1520 | Next we'll hear from the spice latte division. | 1.2857 | 0.05507 | 84 | 62 | 20 | 2 |
1521 | Really? No takers? Pumpkin spice lattes are on me today. | 1.2857 | 0.05802 | 98 | 76 | 16 | 6 |
1522 | Gentlemen, I know you don't like to hear this, but we need to carve down the budget. | 1.2857 | 0.06091 | 77 | 58 | 16 | 3 |
1523 | I'm afraid we're going to have to go back to the patch on this one, Jack. | 1.2857 | 0.05906 | 91 | 70 | 16 | 5 |
1524 | Now that we've all had our brains scooped out, time for some critical decisions. | 1.2857 | 0.05696 | 91 | 69 | 18 | 4 |
1525 | I can't have this team getting smashed over the weekend. We have important work on Monday. | 1.2857 | 0.06882 | 77 | 61 | 10 | 6 |
1526 | The new carve-outs will turn those frowns upside-down! | 1.2857 | 0.05507 | 84 | 62 | 20 | 2 |
1527 | I'm pleased to announce that Elon Musk has purchased the company. | 1.2857 | 0.06153 | 70 | 52 | 16 | 2 |
1528 | It’s time we carved out a niche in the market. | 1.2857 | 0.05445 | 112 | 87 | 18 | 7 |
1529 | As you can see, I had work done. | 1.2857 | 0.06481 | 70 | 53 | 14 | 3 |
1530 | Around this busy holiday season I want to thank you all for carving out time for this company. | 1.2857 | 0.06005 | 84 | 64 | 16 | 4 |
1531 | And then on November first we’ll all get smashed | 1.2857 | 0.05533 | 105 | 81 | 18 | 6 |
1532 | Gentlemen, I'm afriad we've had to cut back on candles. | 1.2857 | 0.06465 | 84 | 66 | 12 | 6 |
1533 | I'm happy to announce our new partnership with Starbucks | 1.2857 | 0.06629 | 77 | 60 | 12 | 5 |
1534 | Happiness is an inside job, punkins! | 1.2857 | 0.05981 | 98 | 77 | 14 | 7 |
1535 | Gentlemen, I’ve been informed we have to make some cuts. | 1.2857 | 0.05618 | 98 | 75 | 18 | 5 |
1536 | Need you to burn the candle at both ends. | 1.2843 | 0.04902 | 102 | 75 | 25 | 2 |
1537 | I think it's time to start thinking about Christmas sales. | 1.2843 | 0.05283 | 102 | 77 | 21 | 4 |
1538 | Starting November first, only regular coffee. All in favor, say aye. | 1.2842 | 0.05532 | 95 | 72 | 19 | 4 |
1539 | Trust me, gentlemen, the sweet potato industry doesn't stand a chance | 1.2842 | 0.06290 | 95 | 76 | 11 | 8 |
1540 | I’ll make this easy. Jack, your fired. | 1.2842 | 0.05532 | 95 | 72 | 19 | 4 |
1541 | Mini pumpkins are all the rage this year so your kids are probably dead. | 1.2842 | 0.06109 | 95 | 75 | 13 | 7 |
1542 | I think it goes without saying that our year end is October 31st | 1.2841 | 0.05587 | 88 | 66 | 19 | 3 |
1543 | I don't think we can just squash the competition. | 1.2841 | 0.05816 | 88 | 67 | 17 | 4 |
1544 | With my thanks for a really great fall season, I'm afraid I have to inform you the Board has decided to carve out some new department heads. | 1.2841 | 0.06036 | 88 | 68 | 15 | 5 |
1545 | I’m allowing Trump back on Twitter. What could go wrong? | 1.2841 | 0.05816 | 88 | 67 | 17 | 4 |
1546 | Sales are freaky scary... We must find a way to spice things up! | 1.2841 | 0.06036 | 88 | 68 | 15 | 5 |
1547 | Our sales goal this year is to gain a bigger piece of the pie. | 1.2840 | 0.05620 | 81 | 60 | 19 | 2 |
1548 | I anticipate a glowing report for the next quarter. | 1.2840 | 0.05620 | 81 | 60 | 19 | 2 |
1549 | We are going in a new direction. Pies. | 1.2840 | 0.06628 | 81 | 64 | 11 | 6 |
1550 | I guess these look better, but the masks were more comfortable. | 1.2840 | 0.05889 | 81 | 61 | 17 | 3 |
1551 | I don't care how important you think you are; we all have to do our duty on the 31st | 1.2838 | 0.05937 | 74 | 55 | 17 | 2 |
1552 | The shareholders are telling us that we need to grow organically. | 1.2838 | 0.06808 | 74 | 58 | 11 | 5 |
1553 | So no one has the guts to speak up? | 1.2833 | 0.05574 | 120 | 96 | 14 | 10 |
1554 | Now if you take a look at this pumpkin pie chart… | 1.2832 | 0.05102 | 113 | 86 | 22 | 5 |
1555 | Profits were down last quarter, but on the bright side, it’s better than a sharp knife in the eye. | 1.2828 | 0.06098 | 99 | 79 | 12 | 8 |
1556 | I'm thinking we add a sweet potato to eliminate any concerns the board lacks diversity. | 1.2828 | 0.05380 | 99 | 75 | 20 | 4 |
1557 | who has some illuminating ideas? | 1.2826 | 0.06051 | 92 | 72 | 14 | 6 |
1558 | It’s come to my attention that we actually do have dental benefits | 1.2826 | 0.05850 | 92 | 71 | 16 | 5 |
1559 | First off, thank you all for carving out some time for this meeting. | 1.2824 | 0.06398 | 85 | 67 | 12 | 6 |
1560 | One of you will have to be squashed. | 1.2824 | 0.05944 | 85 | 65 | 16 | 4 |
1561 | One final housekeeping item - this will be an unpaid lanternship. | 1.2824 | 0.06398 | 85 | 67 | 12 | 6 |
1562 | I can't read the room. You have no teeth. | 1.2824 | 0.05944 | 85 | 65 | 16 | 4 |
1563 | Is it true Elon is hiring Billy Corgan? | 1.2824 | 0.06175 | 85 | 66 | 14 | 5 |
1564 | Gentlemen, we are officially one pumpkin spice latte away from launching the hostile takeover | 1.2824 | 0.05944 | 85 | 65 | 16 | 4 |
1565 | Have you considered a pumpkin stem transplant, Jerry? | 1.2824 | 0.05944 | 85 | 65 | 16 | 4 |
1566 | Benefits do not include vision or dental. | 1.2821 | 0.06294 | 78 | 60 | 14 | 4 |
1567 | Okay. It’s official. We’re the Pumpkin Party! | 1.2821 | 0.05741 | 78 | 58 | 18 | 2 |
1568 | It's obvious to me that we need more diversity on this gourd of directors group." | 1.2821 | 0.06294 | 78 | 60 | 14 | 4 |
1569 | Then it's agreed. "Dead Baby Spice" for Fall. | 1.2821 | 0.06803 | 78 | 62 | 10 | 6 |
1570 | We expect sales to keep going up well through New Year's. | 1.2821 | 0.06554 | 78 | 61 | 12 | 5 |
1571 | I’d like to introduce our new HR manager, Peter, Peter. | 1.2821 | 0.05443 | 78 | 57 | 20 | 1 |
1572 | Anyone have any Thanksgiving plans? | 1.2821 | 0.06024 | 78 | 59 | 16 | 3 |
1573 | It's hard to fathom, but I've been accused of nepotism..... | 1.2821 | 0.06554 | 78 | 61 | 12 | 5 |
1574 | The Pie Division will be needing a new Head | 1.2821 | 0.06554 | 78 | 61 | 12 | 5 |
1575 | Don’t be alarmed! I said we just need one of you for the pie. | 1.2821 | 0.06294 | 78 | 60 | 14 | 4 |
1576 | Happiness is a choice | 1.2821 | 0.06024 | 78 | 59 | 16 | 3 |
1577 | “It looks like we’re going to have to carve some happier faces before our next board meeting.” | 1.2818 | 0.04855 | 110 | 82 | 25 | 3 |
1578 | We've just received a class action lawsuit from those witches. | 1.2817 | 0.06708 | 71 | 55 | 12 | 4 |
1579 | do you know pi is eternal | 1.2817 | 0.06401 | 71 | 54 | 14 | 3 |
1580 | We need to be careful how we vote on this one gentlemen. Remember what happened to the turkeys". | 1.2817 | 0.06401 | 71 | 54 | 14 | 3 |
1581 | Corporate wants me to make some more cuts | 1.2817 | 0.06079 | 71 | 53 | 16 | 2 |
1582 | Welcome to your first carving class! | 1.2817 | 0.06079 | 71 | 53 | 16 | 2 |
1583 | Relax guys. We are made it through Halloween. | 1.2816 | 0.05418 | 103 | 79 | 19 | 5 |
1584 | We need to think outside the lantern. | 1.2816 | 0.04662 | 103 | 75 | 27 | 1 |
1585 | Looking around this table, I see no reason why we can’t pivot our company to Easter! | 1.2816 | 0.05590 | 103 | 80 | 17 | 6 |
1586 | Business is so good , it's scary! | 1.2812 | 0.05278 | 96 | 72 | 21 | 3 |
1587 | It’s Halloween - no working from home today | 1.2812 | 0.07542 | 64 | 51 | 8 | 5 |
1588 | Let me remind you how fortunate you are to be picked for this! | 1.2812 | 0.06481 | 64 | 48 | 14 | 2 |
1589 | So sorry! I shouldn't have kept you past midnight. | 1.2812 | 0.05278 | 96 | 72 | 21 | 3 |
1590 | Well…I must admit I’ve carved out a very nice life for myself | 1.2812 | 0.05678 | 96 | 74 | 17 | 5 |
1591 | You see boys, some of us are just carved for leadership | 1.2812 | 0.06481 | 64 | 48 | 14 | 2 |
1592 | Did anyone bring candles ? | 1.2809 | 0.05297 | 89 | 66 | 21 | 2 |
1593 | I’ve got an idea on how we can spice up this presentation. | 1.2809 | 0.05759 | 89 | 68 | 17 | 4 |
1594 | The good news is profits are up. The bad news is I just swallowed a candle." | 1.2809 | 0.05977 | 89 | 69 | 15 | 5 |
1595 | Welcome everybody to the Donald Trump look-a-like club! | 1.2809 | 0.05977 | 89 | 69 | 15 | 5 |
1596 | Someone has been hollowing out our profits. | 1.2809 | 0.05759 | 89 | 68 | 17 | 4 |
1597 | We've merged with Thanksgiving. Half of you are going to be pie. | 1.2809 | 0.06390 | 89 | 71 | 11 | 7 |
1598 | Ok guys........ the big day's around the corner and once again weve got our work cut out for us... | 1.2809 | 0.05759 | 89 | 68 | 17 | 4 |
1599 | I can't help but feel like we're a hollow shell of what this company once was | 1.2809 | 0.05533 | 89 | 67 | 19 | 3 |
1600 | We need to carve out a new plan. | 1.2809 | 0.05533 | 89 | 67 | 19 | 3 |
1601 | I need another meeting like a need a hole in the head. | 1.2809 | 0.05977 | 89 | 69 | 15 | 5 |
1602 | We’ve decided to go more inclusive and start calling ourselves “Jack & Jill-o-lanterns | 1.2809 | 0.05533 | 89 | 67 | 19 | 3 |
1603 | Any other ideas for adding diversity to our executive team? | 1.2805 | 0.06079 | 82 | 63 | 15 | 4 |
1604 | The turkeys all voted against Thanksgiving. It didn't help. Any other ideas? | 1.2805 | 0.05562 | 82 | 61 | 19 | 2 |
1605 | As usual, we need volunteers for my children's pumpkin carving contest. | 1.2805 | 0.05827 | 82 | 62 | 17 | 3 |
1606 | :what happened to all my gourdeous gourdeous guys? | 1.2805 | 0.06322 | 82 | 64 | 13 | 5 |
1607 | I am afraid some of you will be hollowed and weaned. | 1.2804 | 0.04560 | 107 | 78 | 28 | 1 |
1608 | Cheer up! There's pie for every one of us. | 1.2800 | 0.05700 | 100 | 78 | 16 | 6 |
1609 | I booked The Smashing Pumpkins for our corporate retreat. | 1.2800 | 0.05869 | 75 | 56 | 17 | 2 |
1610 | We've got the white woman demographic nailed. What's next? | 1.2800 | 0.06990 | 75 | 60 | 9 | 6 |
1611 | Then it’s settled. Only smiley-face jack-o’-lanterns get a bonus this year. | 1.2800 | 0.06728 | 75 | 59 | 11 | 5 |
1612 | Are we ready as a company for casual Friday? | 1.2800 | 0.06728 | 75 | 59 | 11 | 5 |
1613 | SO....you all agree...I will continue to remain President of the Pumpkin Heads!! | 1.2800 | 0.05519 | 100 | 77 | 18 | 5 |
1614 | Given the past few years and the uncertainty in the world today, many of us may be feeling hollow | 1.2800 | 0.05333 | 100 | 76 | 20 | 4 |
1615 | Halloween was never this fun with Dorsey, right guys? | 1.2800 | 0.06728 | 75 | 59 | 11 | 5 |
1616 | Great news! We’re merging with Headless Horsemen United. | 1.2800 | 0.05869 | 75 | 56 | 17 | 2 |
1617 | Please, call me Gourd. Mr. Pumpkin was my father. | 1.2796 | 0.05993 | 93 | 73 | 14 | 6 |
1618 | Now who from our privileged lazy over-watered overweight minuscule demographic slice shall we raise to power this year? | 1.2796 | 0.05590 | 93 | 71 | 18 | 4 |
1619 | Everyone in favor, say 'Yeth.' | 1.2796 | 0.05993 | 93 | 73 | 14 | 6 |
1620 | Last one to rot - wins | 1.2796 | 0.05993 | 93 | 73 | 14 | 6 |
1621 | Our goal is diversity in the boardroom | 1.2796 | 0.05993 | 93 | 73 | 14 | 6 |
1622 | On the other hand, I'm glad we tested it on ourselves before we released it to the general public. | 1.2796 | 0.05590 | 93 | 71 | 18 | 4 |
1623 | The good news, we’ve had a great month! The bad news? Our faces are rotting. | 1.2796 | 0.05590 | 93 | 71 | 18 | 4 |
1624 | We’ll be looking for someone to lead the new eastern division. Someone with guts. | 1.2794 | 0.06900 | 68 | 53 | 11 | 4 |
1625 | I'd like to start off by saying I'm pleased to see that everyone read the recent dress code memo. | 1.2793 | 0.05303 | 111 | 86 | 19 | 6 |
1626 | I’d like to circle back on the idea that our corporate culture is “hollow.” | 1.2791 | 0.05883 | 86 | 66 | 16 | 4 |
1627 | I’m pleased to announce we’ve just signed our newest group: The Pumpkin Spice Girls | 1.2791 | 0.06331 | 86 | 68 | 12 | 6 |
1628 | The shareholders have finally approved a dental plan for the entire Board of Directors. | 1.2787 | 0.06666 | 61 | 46 | 13 | 2 |
1629 | This is the best part of my job. Deciding who's getting cut. | 1.2785 | 0.05386 | 79 | 58 | 20 | 1 |
1630 | We all know what happens after Halloween. | 1.2785 | 0.05679 | 79 | 59 | 18 | 2 |
1631 | Due to right-sizing, this year we only have one candle. | 1.2785 | 0.05386 | 79 | 58 | 20 | 1 |
1632 | So, Jackie will start next week. | 1.2785 | 0.06224 | 79 | 61 | 14 | 4 |
1633 | So... can we say it's unanimous for composting? | 1.2785 | 0.06224 | 79 | 61 | 14 | 4 |
1634 | I’m going to need everyone to work on their poker faces. | 1.2785 | 0.05386 | 79 | 58 | 20 | 1 |
1635 | I have an even better idea, pumpkin dressing! | 1.2785 | 0.06480 | 79 | 62 | 12 | 5 |
1636 | Gentlemen, every year at this time this company experiences a debilitating drop in headcount. I’m convening this task force to find out why. | 1.2785 | 0.05958 | 79 | 60 | 16 | 3 |
1637 | Cheer up! If we keep our heads we will do just fine. | 1.2785 | 0.05958 | 79 | 60 | 16 | 3 |
1638 | The good news is, we won’t make it past the new years to be responsible for Q4 earnings | 1.2785 | 0.05958 | 79 | 60 | 16 | 3 |
1639 | Well, we've gotten scooped again this year. | 1.2784 | 0.05231 | 97 | 73 | 21 | 3 |
1640 | surely we can carve out a more uplifting solution. | 1.2784 | 0.05433 | 97 | 74 | 19 | 4 |
1641 | I sense you're all upset with the new "No Candy Bowls in Meetings" policy. | 1.2784 | 0.04803 | 97 | 71 | 25 | 1 |
1642 | The legal department wants to stress, absolutely no headless horse riding this year. | 1.2784 | 0.05997 | 97 | 77 | 13 | 7 |
1643 | Jack. You’re fired. | 1.2784 | 0.05231 | 97 | 73 | 21 | 3 |
1644 | i guess you could say i’m a jack of all trades. | 1.2784 | 0.05231 | 97 | 73 | 21 | 3 |
1645 | Why did management have to hire someone with a gourd complex. | 1.2784 | 0.05627 | 97 | 75 | 17 | 5 |
1646 | Yes, the band WILL be called Smashing Pumpkins | 1.2778 | 0.06126 | 90 | 71 | 13 | 6 |
1647 | So, we all agree. Halloween is cruel and must be abolished. | 1.2778 | 0.05918 | 90 | 70 | 15 | 5 |
1648 | Anyone care to express their feelings about this last round of cuts? | 1.2778 | 0.05672 | 72 | 53 | 18 | 1 |
1649 | As many of you have guessed, we will begin downsizing on November 1st. | 1.2778 | 0.06326 | 90 | 72 | 11 | 7 |
1650 | Welcome to the Gourd of Directors. | 1.2778 | 0.05703 | 90 | 69 | 17 | 4 |
1651 | I know, I know, you're all wondering how I maintain my youthful appearance. | 1.2778 | 0.06007 | 72 | 54 | 16 | 2 |
1652 | Too bad Jack couldn't make it. | 1.2778 | 0.05398 | 108 | 84 | 18 | 6 |
1653 | For some, there’s a flicker of hope, but most of you will become pies | 1.2778 | 0.06324 | 72 | 55 | 14 | 3 |
1654 | Anyone see a need for more face-saving cuts ? | 1.2778 | 0.06007 | 72 | 54 | 16 | 2 |
1655 | Once again, we had a really good October | 1.2778 | 0.05703 | 90 | 69 | 17 | 4 |
1656 | I'm just a naturally smiley person! | 1.2778 | 0.05004 | 90 | 66 | 23 | 1 |
1657 | The threat of being wiped out by the end of the month is real! | 1.2771 | 0.06255 | 83 | 65 | 13 | 5 |
1658 | One positive note - our merger with coffee is on again | 1.2771 | 0.06255 | 83 | 65 | 13 | 5 |
1659 | Heads will roll, I’m afraid. Elon doesn’t like pumpkins. | 1.2771 | 0.06015 | 83 | 64 | 15 | 4 |
1660 | The Great Pumpkin has spoken, You’re all fired! | 1.2771 | 0.05766 | 83 | 63 | 17 | 3 |
1661 | No worries - they're just a rock band. | 1.2769 | 0.07438 | 65 | 52 | 8 | 5 |
1662 | Good news is pumpkin spice latte sales are at an all time high. Bad news is we need more pumpkins. | 1.2768 | 0.05107 | 112 | 86 | 21 | 5 |
1663 | The Chairmen of the Gourd informs his team that they are getting squashed. | 1.2766 | 0.05327 | 94 | 71 | 20 | 3 |
1664 | For starters , I’m your boss, not your friend, and you will show me the respect of addressing me as John or Mr. O’Lantern. | 1.2766 | 0.05936 | 94 | 74 | 14 | 6 |
1665 | I've got a proposal from this guy, Billy Corgan, for our new company jingle, wanna listen to it? | 1.2766 | 0.05108 | 94 | 70 | 22 | 2 |
1666 | I've got a great idea that'll really spice things up. | 1.2763 | 0.06379 | 76 | 59 | 13 | 4 |
1667 | Johnson, carve that frown off your face right now | 1.2763 | 0.05493 | 76 | 56 | 19 | 1 |
1668 | Sure seasonal profits are up, but let's not lose our heads! | 1.2763 | 0.06098 | 76 | 58 | 15 | 3 |
1669 | Hopefully the Bonuses will make you smile. | 1.2763 | 0.06379 | 76 | 59 | 13 | 4 |
1670 | All those who favor moving corporate headquarters to Sleepy Hollow, please raise your hand. | 1.2763 | 0.05803 | 76 | 57 | 17 | 2 |
1671 | Hard to believe, but our shareholders are accusing us of nepotism. | 1.2763 | 0.05803 | 76 | 57 | 17 | 2 |
1672 | Gentlemen, I don’t want to squash your enthusiasm, but it is apparent to me that you all have jack for brains. | 1.2763 | 0.06379 | 76 | 59 | 13 | 4 |
1673 | Welcome to the break-out session on diversity and inclusion. | 1.2763 | 0.05493 | 76 | 56 | 19 | 1 |
1674 | We may ripen quickly, but at least we won't have to worry about Long COVID. | 1.2763 | 0.06098 | 76 | 58 | 15 | 3 |
1675 | This is our season and I want us to really glow | 1.2763 | 0.05803 | 76 | 57 | 17 | 2 |
1676 | all signs indicate this holiday will be a smashing success! | 1.2762 | 0.05661 | 105 | 83 | 15 | 7 |
1677 | This week some of you will remain on board and others will be pie filling". | 1.2759 | 0.05824 | 87 | 67 | 16 | 4 |
1678 | I call this meeting of the New York Chapter of the Donald Trump "Look-a-Likes" to order | 1.2759 | 0.06266 | 87 | 69 | 12 | 6 |
1679 | I know it’s a lot to ask to work late on Halloween, but I’m sure each of you can carve out the time. | 1.2755 | 0.05385 | 98 | 75 | 19 | 4 |
1680 | Compliance wants us to diversify. | 1.2754 | 0.06154 | 69 | 52 | 15 | 2 |
1681 | Employee well-being has been on the rise all month and is projected to continue into November. | 1.2754 | 0.06491 | 69 | 53 | 13 | 3 |
1682 | Our stock is soaring this week, and I expect next week's earnings to be even better! | 1.2754 | 0.06154 | 69 | 52 | 15 | 2 |
1683 | I won best costume again this year. | 1.2754 | 0.06811 | 69 | 54 | 11 | 4 |
1684 | Let me start by saying, you all resemble our last President. | 1.2752 | 0.05510 | 109 | 86 | 16 | 7 |
1685 | This meeting is adjourned. Time to get lit! | 1.2752 | 0.05354 | 109 | 85 | 18 | 6 |
1686 | I’m concerned that we have an ingrained culture of negativity. | 1.2750 | 0.06156 | 80 | 62 | 14 | 4 |
1687 | And lastly, I'll turn it over to Ed who has some exciting news about the company dental plan. | 1.2750 | 0.06156 | 80 | 62 | 14 | 4 |
1688 | Ideas for Halloween? | 1.2750 | 0.06156 | 80 | 62 | 14 | 4 |
1689 | Pumpkin Heads Unite! | 1.2750 | 0.06884 | 80 | 65 | 8 | 7 |
1690 | We've got to diversify, so four of you will be turned into spice. | 1.2750 | 0.05618 | 80 | 60 | 18 | 2 |
1691 | we’re going to start carving from the top this year | 1.2750 | 0.06408 | 80 | 63 | 12 | 5 |
1692 | Anyone have any ideas for new seasonal pie? | 1.2750 | 0.05893 | 80 | 61 | 16 | 3 |
1693 | You’ve all made your wishes known to your family, right? | 1.2750 | 0.06156 | 80 | 62 | 14 | 4 |
1694 | So the vote is conclusive. No spice | 1.2750 | 0.05618 | 80 | 60 | 18 | 2 |
1695 | Due to spending restrictions, this year's bonus will be a trick. | 1.2747 | 0.05428 | 91 | 69 | 19 | 3 |
1696 | And now, Jack with the quarterly report. Jack? | 1.2747 | 0.06066 | 91 | 72 | 13 | 6 |
1697 | Don’t worry about it, guys. We can just lie and pretend that we won. | 1.2747 | 0.05861 | 91 | 71 | 15 | 5 |
1698 | Carving out the budget proposal is going to be tricky. | 1.2747 | 0.05428 | 91 | 69 | 19 | 3 |
1699 | Just a garden variety Board of Directors meeting. | 1.2747 | 0.06066 | 91 | 72 | 13 | 6 |
1700 | I have an announcement to make today and I can guarantee that heads will roll. | 1.2747 | 0.05861 | 91 | 71 | 15 | 5 |
1701 | You are all FIRED November1 | 1.2745 | 0.05054 | 102 | 77 | 22 | 3 |
1702 | This is funny! Why don't any of you smile? | 1.2742 | 0.06573 | 62 | 47 | 13 | 2 |
1703 | And now for our latest TikTok challenge: Wear a scary human head. | 1.2742 | 0.06157 | 62 | 46 | 15 | 1 |
1704 | I know it's still October, but we are all being replaced by Christmas trees and Santas tomorrow. | 1.2740 | 0.06546 | 73 | 57 | 12 | 4 |
1705 | I'm happy to see that none of you got smashed last night. | 1.2740 | 0.06248 | 73 | 56 | 14 | 3 |
1706 | Does anyone know why we are accused of nepotism? | 1.2740 | 0.05936 | 73 | 55 | 16 | 2 |
1707 | I see some of you aren't happy about our latest incisions, but there are going to be more cuts. | 1.2740 | 0.06248 | 73 | 56 | 14 | 3 |
1708 | So... just how much is this new dental plan going to cost us? | 1.2740 | 0.07103 | 73 | 59 | 8 | 6 |
1709 | How about you, Jack? Can you shed any light on this? | 1.2740 | 0.05606 | 73 | 54 | 18 | 1 |
1710 | I said: “We lost the SEED money!” | 1.2740 | 0.06248 | 73 | 56 | 14 | 3 |
1711 | Who ordered the Pumpkin Latte? | 1.2740 | 0.06546 | 73 | 57 | 12 | 4 |
1712 | I'm really proud of our company's successful diversity program. | 1.2740 | 0.06830 | 73 | 58 | 10 | 5 |
1713 | Gentleman, jack o' lantern sales are down, however, pie sales are up. I need a volunteer. | 1.2740 | 0.05606 | 73 | 54 | 18 | 1 |
1714 | alrighty then: who wants to be the first orange skin foo to run for president? are you criminal enough; psychotically sociopathically narcissist enough? | 1.2740 | 0.06546 | 73 | 57 | 12 | 4 |
1715 | Gentlemen let me introduce myself, my name is Peter Peter | 1.2740 | 0.06248 | 73 | 56 | 14 | 3 |
1716 | Thank you all for carving out some time to meet today. | 1.2738 | 0.05952 | 84 | 65 | 15 | 4 |
1717 | It looks like we're going to have to make some adjustments in our diversity plan. | 1.2738 | 0.05706 | 84 | 64 | 17 | 3 |
1718 | We need to grow the pie! | 1.2738 | 0.05952 | 84 | 65 | 15 | 4 |
1719 | 3. point. 14159265359 | 1.2738 | 0.06416 | 84 | 67 | 11 | 6 |
1720 | I'm going to be a fun Jack-o'lantern, and you folks are all going to be pies. | 1.2738 | 0.05952 | 84 | 65 | 15 | 4 |
1721 | I am just thankful our ancestors did not carve Watermelons to ward off evil spirits for Halloween. | 1.2738 | 0.06189 | 84 | 66 | 13 | 5 |
1722 | I suggest we adjourn and get smashed | 1.2738 | 0.06189 | 84 | 66 | 13 | 5 |
1723 | With what I’m about to say, you might think I’m out of my gourd. | 1.2738 | 0.05952 | 84 | 65 | 15 | 4 |
1724 | We’re waiting for Icabod | 1.2738 | 0.06189 | 84 | 66 | 13 | 5 |
1725 | It’s the peak season as you all know so I want to see you burning the candle at both ends… | 1.2738 | 0.05706 | 84 | 64 | 17 | 3 |
1726 | New board members for Twitter | 1.2737 | 0.05687 | 95 | 74 | 16 | 5 |
1727 | Please give a warm welcome to our first Jill O' Lantern board member. | 1.2737 | 0.05487 | 95 | 73 | 18 | 4 |
1728 | Cheer up, guys. There will be no more cuts this quarter.” | 1.2737 | 0.05062 | 95 | 71 | 22 | 2 |
1729 | I meant the other Jack” | 1.2737 | 0.05279 | 95 | 72 | 20 | 3 |
1730 | You will admit, I have come a long way from my days in the pumpkin patch. | 1.2737 | 0.05687 | 95 | 74 | 16 | 5 |
1731 | Seeing your little faces light up each day is what keeps me in the Jack-o'-lantern business. | 1.2736 | 0.05283 | 106 | 82 | 19 | 5 |
1732 | And that is my 42.7 step plan for keeping Christmas out of stores until November 1st. | 1.2727 | 0.05535 | 88 | 67 | 18 | 3 |
1733 | And here's why our merger with Ginsu knives is a win-win... | 1.2727 | 0.06029 | 77 | 59 | 15 | 3 |
1734 | It's that time of year again, Jack. | 1.2727 | 0.06671 | 66 | 51 | 12 | 3 |
1735 | What was in the latte? | 1.2727 | 0.05739 | 77 | 58 | 17 | 2 |
1736 | ROLL CALL: Jumping Jack Flash Jack be Nimble Jack Daniels Jacqueline Jack-O’-Lantern Jack Frost Jack N. Jack in the Beanstalk Jack Rabbit Jack The Ripper Jill Now who’s having the in office romance? You know that’s not allowed. | 1.2727 | 0.06306 | 77 | 60 | 13 | 4 |
1737 | Big office party this weekend ; cause we all know some of us won't be back on Monday. | 1.2727 | 0.05766 | 88 | 68 | 16 | 4 |
1738 | Any ideas on how we become more than a two week business? | 1.2727 | 0.07337 | 66 | 53 | 8 | 5 |
1739 | I want you all to think outside the squash. | 1.2727 | 0.05931 | 66 | 49 | 16 | 1 |
1740 | Do you see his facelift? It looks so obvious. | 1.2727 | 0.05739 | 77 | 58 | 17 | 2 |
1741 | It'll be smashing.... | 1.2727 | 0.05535 | 88 | 67 | 18 | 3 |
1742 | Now that we've taken back the House... | 1.2727 | 0.06029 | 77 | 59 | 15 | 3 |
1743 | O'Lantern. It's Irish. | 1.2727 | 0.06306 | 77 | 60 | 13 | 4 |
1744 | This company feels just like family. | 1.2727 | 0.06572 | 77 | 61 | 11 | 5 |
1745 | So we are agreed that the headless horseman will be the company's new logo. | 1.2727 | 0.05988 | 88 | 69 | 14 | 5 |
1746 | Due to your poor performance this quarter,you are all being reassigned to Thanksgiving. Please see the Baking department for your new roles. | 1.2727 | 0.06572 | 77 | 61 | 11 | 5 |
1747 | The investors are scared. | 1.2727 | 0.05140 | 99 | 75 | 21 | 3 |
1748 | winter is coming | 1.2727 | 0.05766 | 88 | 68 | 16 | 4 |
1749 | Welcome to the Diversity Board. I’m happy to finally see some new faces here on Wall Street! | 1.2727 | 0.06572 | 77 | 61 | 11 | 5 |
1750 | Appreciate ya making today’s gourd meeting, fellas. | 1.2727 | 0.06410 | 88 | 71 | 10 | 7 |
1751 | Ever get one of those days when it feels like your brain has gone to mush? | 1.2718 | 0.05198 | 103 | 79 | 20 | 4 |
1752 | It’s nearly the end of October. What are your plans for keeping yourself intact from now through November? | 1.2717 | 0.05377 | 92 | 70 | 19 | 3 |
1753 | Okay, let's see those pie charts. | 1.2717 | 0.06007 | 92 | 73 | 13 | 6 |
1754 | ever since he lit the tealight in his head, he now thinks he is full of bright ideas. | 1.2717 | 0.05595 | 92 | 71 | 17 | 4 |
1755 | Butternut squash spiced lattes rolls right off the tongue. | 1.2717 | 0.06202 | 92 | 74 | 11 | 7 |
1756 | Great news. The Spice Girls are interested in our proposal. | 1.2716 | 0.06337 | 81 | 64 | 12 | 5 |
1757 | I expect to see revenue growth, followed by softening, and eventual rotting. | 1.2716 | 0.05559 | 81 | 61 | 18 | 2 |
1758 | Our latest campaign has been a smashing success! Let me rephrase that. | 1.2716 | 0.05830 | 81 | 62 | 16 | 3 |
1759 | Our initial public offering will be a smash | 1.2716 | 0.05830 | 81 | 62 | 16 | 3 |
1760 | Jill O’ Lantern is joining us! | 1.2716 | 0.06089 | 81 | 63 | 14 | 4 |
1761 | Diversity problem #1: everyone's named Jack. | 1.2716 | 0.06089 | 81 | 63 | 14 | 4 |
1762 | Yes, they’re cute, but squirrels are definitely a health hazard. | 1.2716 | 0.05830 | 81 | 62 | 16 | 3 |
1763 | This year’s bonus will be in Candy Corn. | 1.2716 | 0.06089 | 81 | 63 | 14 | 4 |
1764 | "Most new recruits don't make it past the end of the month." | 1.2714 | 0.05354 | 70 | 51 | 19 | 0 |
1765 | That is my plan to SQUASH the competition | 1.2714 | 0.06410 | 70 | 54 | 13 | 3 |
1766 | To improve our ESG rankings we're reducing our carbon footprint by switching all facial lighting from candles to LEDs. | 1.2714 | 0.06078 | 70 | 53 | 15 | 2 |
1767 | What we need is a little spice around here. | 1.2714 | 0.06078 | 70 | 53 | 15 | 2 |
1768 | Jack #3, you know the dress code calls for a head stem! | 1.2714 | 0.06725 | 70 | 55 | 11 | 4 |
1769 | Don’t forget to dress like turkeys in November. | 1.2714 | 0.07026 | 70 | 56 | 9 | 5 |
1770 | I am stepping down as CEO and my cousin George Carrot Head will takeover. You will see a slight change to the shape of our company logo. | 1.2714 | 0.06078 | 70 | 53 | 15 | 2 |
1771 | The word in the patches is we’re out of touch. | 1.2714 | 0.06078 | 70 | 53 | 15 | 2 |
1772 | Our spice latte was just a start. I'm thinking reinventing beer. | 1.2713 | 0.04891 | 129 | 101 | 21 | 7 |
1773 | Won’t the real Donald Trump please stand up… | 1.2712 | 0.07580 | 59 | 47 | 8 | 4 |
1774 | We've received a threatening note from PeterPeter again. | 1.2710 | 0.05722 | 107 | 86 | 13 | 8 |
1775 | You're all going to be fired on the 31st. | 1.2708 | 0.05437 | 96 | 74 | 18 | 4 |
1776 | Did you all remember to bring your Halloween disguises? There's going to be a lot of mayhem out there tonight. | 1.2708 | 0.05826 | 96 | 76 | 14 | 6 |
1777 | We only have a few days before…well you know! | 1.2706 | 0.05648 | 85 | 65 | 17 | 3 |
1778 | Who's ready for a corporate carve-out? | 1.2706 | 0.05891 | 85 | 66 | 15 | 4 |
1779 | Spiced Latte anyone? | 1.2706 | 0.06124 | 85 | 67 | 13 | 5 |
1780 | You all are getting soft in the head | 1.2706 | 0.05648 | 85 | 65 | 17 | 3 |
1781 | The rumor that heads will roll is greatly exaggerated. | 1.2706 | 0.05394 | 85 | 64 | 19 | 2 |
1782 | I’m afraid the numbers weren’t good for last quarter and we’re going to have to make a few more cuts. | 1.2706 | 0.05394 | 85 | 64 | 19 | 2 |
1783 | Excuse me, Johnson, but I think your cap is outside in. | 1.2706 | 0.06124 | 85 | 67 | 13 | 5 |
1784 | Due to downsizing, I’m retiring. Billy Corgan will be the new CEO. | 1.2703 | 0.06467 | 74 | 58 | 12 | 4 |
1785 | I think you'll find the cuts to our dental plan will put a smile on your face. | 1.2703 | 0.06174 | 74 | 57 | 14 | 3 |
1786 | We need a plan to prevent our competition from squashing us. | 1.2703 | 0.06174 | 74 | 57 | 14 | 3 |
1787 | We’re removing all the seeds this year | 1.2703 | 0.06174 | 74 | 57 | 14 | 3 |
1788 | Yes Gourd? | 1.2703 | 0.06174 | 74 | 57 | 14 | 3 |
1789 | So we all agree? Candy corn does indeed SUCK. | 1.2703 | 0.06174 | 74 | 57 | 14 | 3 |
1790 | I am afraid I have to do some downsizing. On the bright side, those downsized, will be part of Thanksgiving dinner. | 1.2700 | 0.05291 | 100 | 77 | 19 | 4 |
1791 | Do I intimidate you or were your faces just carved that way? | 1.2700 | 0.05096 | 100 | 76 | 21 | 3 |
1792 | The motion is carried by 10 to 1 in favor of the stems. | 1.2698 | 0.07229 | 63 | 50 | 9 | 4 |
1793 | Gentlemen, I have some bad news about the December layoffs. | 1.2697 | 0.05243 | 89 | 67 | 20 | 2 |
1794 | For the record, our GMO pumpkin products have been proven to have absolutely no side effects. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1795 | How’s the campaign going to push sweet potato pie this year? | 1.2697 | 0.05709 | 89 | 69 | 16 | 4 |
1796 | I carved them all myself | 1.2692 | 0.05962 | 78 | 60 | 15 | 3 |
1797 | To bolster pie shortages created by supply chain issues I'll need all of you to participate. | 1.2692 | 0.05374 | 78 | 58 | 19 | 1 |
1798 | I know we are all feeling a little empty headed after last nights festivities but the meeting must go on! | 1.2692 | 0.05962 | 78 | 60 | 15 | 3 |
1799 | Welcome to the annual gourd meeting. | 1.2692 | 0.05962 | 78 | 60 | 15 | 3 |
1800 | So, Best Holiday Ever--wouldn't you agree? | 1.2692 | 0.05962 | 78 | 60 | 15 | 3 |
1801 | Please, Gentlemen. My text concerning 'smashing news' simply meant that sales doubled this quarter. | 1.2692 | 0.06235 | 78 | 61 | 13 | 4 |
1802 | So team, big night tonight. We’ll all be burning the candle at both ends. | 1.2692 | 0.06748 | 78 | 63 | 9 | 6 |
1803 | Wipe that smirk off your gourd! | 1.2692 | 0.06235 | 78 | 61 | 13 | 4 |
1804 | I just wanted to give everyone a head’s up… | 1.2692 | 0.06496 | 78 | 62 | 11 | 5 |
1805 | Let’s discuss all the ways we can squash the competition. | 1.2692 | 0.05374 | 78 | 58 | 19 | 1 |
1806 | The competition doesn't hold a candle next to us. | 1.2688 | 0.05749 | 93 | 73 | 15 | 5 |
1807 | All those in favor, say "Boo!" | 1.2688 | 0.05103 | 93 | 70 | 21 | 2 |
1808 | The bad news: no clear winner for the Hallowe’en costume contest. The good news: great minds think alike. | 1.2688 | 0.05542 | 93 | 72 | 17 | 4 |
1809 | Deflation is the real enemy. | 1.2688 | 0.05327 | 93 | 71 | 19 | 3 |
1810 | This meeting feels hollow | 1.2687 | 0.06583 | 67 | 52 | 12 | 3 |
1811 | How about, Chairman of the Gourd? | 1.2687 | 0.06230 | 67 | 51 | 14 | 2 |
1812 | It's come to my attention that we're all brainless fruits. | 1.2687 | 0.06918 | 67 | 53 | 10 | 4 |
1813 | I am happy to say that one of us will not be made into a pie. | 1.2687 | 0.06583 | 67 | 52 | 12 | 3 |
1814 | Okay, so all in favor of 'Pumpkin Spice Veal Scallopini,' say aye. | 1.2685 | 0.05028 | 108 | 83 | 21 | 4 |
1815 | I’m guessing that my incentive package proposal is not acceptable…. | 1.2685 | 0.05361 | 108 | 85 | 17 | 6 |
1816 | You'll be seeing some new faces around here soon. | 1.2683 | 0.05220 | 82 | 61 | 20 | 1 |
1817 | I think we need to squash the takeover bid! | 1.2683 | 0.05220 | 82 | 61 | 20 | 1 |
1818 | We need to hire a zucchini so people think our DEI efforts are real | 1.2683 | 0.05768 | 82 | 63 | 16 | 3 |
1819 | Time to spice up these meetings! | 1.2683 | 0.06268 | 82 | 65 | 12 | 5 |
1820 | At this time of year, we like fire everyone. | 1.2683 | 0.06504 | 82 | 66 | 10 | 6 |
1821 | Let’s just get smashed | 1.2683 | 0.06023 | 82 | 64 | 14 | 4 |
1822 | We’ve all had work done, and I get it, but I’d like to start this meeting off with ‘you are beautiful’ | 1.2683 | 0.04923 | 82 | 60 | 22 | 0 |
1823 | We’re agreed, then: yes on trick, no on treat. | 1.2680 | 0.05584 | 97 | 76 | 16 | 5 |
1824 | Let’s experiment who will sink or float | 1.2680 | 0.05388 | 97 | 75 | 18 | 4 |
1825 | Let's carve out some ideas that will make us all smile. | 1.2679 | 0.05379 | 112 | 89 | 16 | 7 |
1826 | All in favor of including stem extensions and augmentations in our company health plan, say aye. | 1.2677 | 0.04534 | 127 | 97 | 26 | 4 |
1827 | We need to carve out a niche. | 1.2676 | 0.06330 | 71 | 55 | 13 | 3 |
1828 | All in favor say pie. | 1.2676 | 0.06330 | 71 | 55 | 13 | 3 |
1829 | Competition. Squash 'em! | 1.2676 | 0.06330 | 71 | 55 | 13 | 3 |
1830 | I know it's been a rough patch lately, but let's not lose our heads. | 1.2676 | 0.06640 | 71 | 56 | 11 | 4 |
1831 | I'm sorry but diversity is the name of the game. Jack, you are going to be replaced by Mr. Potato Head. | 1.2676 | 0.06004 | 71 | 54 | 15 | 2 |
1832 | Our successful carve-out means some of you will be assigned to window displays. | 1.2676 | 0.06937 | 71 | 57 | 9 | 5 |
1833 | Team… Our annual numbers are far from frightful. I expect better from you | 1.2676 | 0.06004 | 71 | 54 | 15 | 2 |
1834 | The only way to solve this problem is by putting our heads together. | 1.2676 | 0.05659 | 71 | 53 | 17 | 1 |
1835 | Jack? What say you? | 1.2676 | 0.06937 | 71 | 57 | 9 | 5 |
1836 | We need to discuss diversity. | 1.2674 | 0.06060 | 86 | 68 | 13 | 5 |
1837 | While we have the fall market cornered, any ideas concerning a summer business idea? | 1.2674 | 0.05830 | 86 | 67 | 15 | 4 |
1838 | I'd like to introduce our guest speaker, Billy Corgan. | 1.2674 | 0.06060 | 86 | 68 | 13 | 5 |
1839 | Human Resources says it's time to add a pumpkiness to the Board. | 1.2674 | 0.05591 | 86 | 66 | 17 | 3 |
1840 | If our numbers don't improve, I can assure you, heads will roll. | 1.2674 | 0.05341 | 86 | 65 | 19 | 2 |
1841 | The good news is that those plastic poseurs can never carve out a slice of the pie and muffin market! | 1.2674 | 0.05830 | 86 | 67 | 15 | 4 |
1842 | And if you miss the goal, my solution is as easy as pie. | 1.2674 | 0.05830 | 86 | 67 | 15 | 4 |
1843 | Gentlemen, I think it’s time we add a Jill O’lantern to this board. | 1.2674 | 0.06496 | 86 | 70 | 9 | 7 |
1844 | And that's why I insist on being called "The Great Pumpkin." | 1.2674 | 0.05830 | 86 | 67 | 15 | 4 |
1845 | This character-building exercise has really changed our outlook! | 1.2673 | 0.05430 | 101 | 79 | 17 | 5 |
1846 | Now that we’ve all got clear minds, it’s time to get to work. | 1.2673 | 0.04852 | 101 | 76 | 23 | 2 |
1847 | Can’t fool me Jenkins, I see you sleeping! | 1.2667 | 0.05870 | 90 | 71 | 14 | 5 |
1848 | Marketing reports that customers actually prefer regular lattes. | 1.2667 | 0.06391 | 75 | 59 | 12 | 4 |
1849 | Any more bright ideas? | 1.2667 | 0.06102 | 75 | 58 | 14 | 3 |
1850 | Our latest acquisition is a pie company. | 1.2667 | 0.06391 | 75 | 59 | 12 | 4 |
1851 | Nobody suspects he is one of us. | 1.2667 | 0.05653 | 90 | 70 | 16 | 4 |
1852 | Looks like your apple pie for Thanksgiving campaign is not working. | 1.2667 | 0.05799 | 75 | 57 | 16 | 2 |
1853 | I propose that we squash our competition | 1.2667 | 0.06102 | 75 | 58 | 14 | 3 |
1854 | OK, that’s the bad news - the good news is that pumpkin pie sales are through the roof! | 1.2667 | 0.06391 | 75 | 59 | 12 | 4 |
1855 | Guys, I've said it before and I'll say it again: a diversity program doesn't work overnight... | 1.2667 | 0.05870 | 90 | 71 | 14 | 5 |
1856 | Can anyone on the Finance committee smile? | 1.2667 | 0.05799 | 75 | 57 | 16 | 2 |
1857 | We've been bought out by someone named Peter Peter. | 1.2667 | 0.05653 | 90 | 70 | 16 | 4 |
1858 | And next year, we’ve decided to focus our entire marketing budget on Easter. Any objections? | 1.2667 | 0.05870 | 90 | 71 | 14 | 5 |
1859 | Now about that carve out we were discussing . . . | 1.2667 | 0.04947 | 90 | 67 | 22 | 1 |
1860 | Ok I think it's time for us to settle on an official face for our brand | 1.2667 | 0.06102 | 75 | 58 | 14 | 3 |
1861 | We’re going to spice things up. | 1.2661 | 0.05155 | 109 | 85 | 19 | 5 |
1862 | Jack didn't have the guts to say this, but there will be layoffs this year. | 1.2660 | 0.05056 | 94 | 71 | 21 | 2 |
1863 | I want to see a real effort to turn those frowns upside down. | 1.2660 | 0.05892 | 94 | 75 | 13 | 6 |
1864 | While we are clearly a bright team, we’ve been acting without guts for a long time. | 1.2660 | 0.05695 | 94 | 74 | 15 | 5 |
1865 | They say we need more diversity in the workplace | 1.2660 | 0.05056 | 94 | 71 | 21 | 2 |
1866 | We have been criticized for our lack of diversity so does anyone know an elf? | 1.2658 | 0.06423 | 79 | 63 | 11 | 5 |
1867 | Enlighten me | 1.2658 | 0.06165 | 79 | 62 | 13 | 4 |
1868 | Further carving is needed to hit our quarterly projections. | 1.2658 | 0.05614 | 79 | 60 | 17 | 2 |
1869 | Whose for dessert? | 1.2658 | 0.06165 | 79 | 62 | 13 | 4 |
1870 | You may have noticed a 12-year-old with a baseball bat walking around the office. Don’t worry, he’s just here to see if we can do things a little more efficiently. | 1.2658 | 0.05614 | 79 | 60 | 17 | 2 |
1871 | And finally, who will be going to Sleepy Hollow this year? | 1.2658 | 0.05614 | 79 | 60 | 17 | 2 |
1872 | If this stupid, hollow meeting proved only one thing it's that our ideas are lame and our heads are as empty and carved out as pumpkins. | 1.2658 | 0.06165 | 79 | 62 | 13 | 4 |
1873 | I think it will spook our investors | 1.2658 | 0.05317 | 79 | 59 | 19 | 1 |
1874 | In a moment you will know why you all have frowns carved into your faces. | 1.2658 | 0.05896 | 79 | 61 | 15 | 3 |
1875 | We all know fourth quarter burnout is real. This organization is rotting from the inside out. | 1.2658 | 0.06165 | 79 | 62 | 13 | 4 |
1876 | What about Christmas? | 1.2656 | 0.06394 | 64 | 49 | 13 | 2 |
1877 | Good news, pie biz booming! Bad news, I need four volunteers! | 1.2656 | 0.05994 | 64 | 48 | 15 | 1 |
1878 | Let’s settle down. We all knew not everyone would make it to next year. | 1.2656 | 0.07128 | 64 | 51 | 9 | 4 |
1879 | I look forward to seeing each and every one of you working closely with our new brand ambassadors, The Smashing Pumpkins. | 1.2656 | 0.05994 | 64 | 48 | 15 | 1 |
1880 | I’ve carved out a 1-year plan to squash our deficit-we will need all gourd members approval on this. | 1.2656 | 0.06394 | 64 | 49 | 13 | 2 |
1881 | Since "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" won't be aired on tv this year, I suggest we cancel Halloween. | 1.2653 | 0.05533 | 98 | 77 | 16 | 5 |
1882 | Given that we have been asked to be more inclusive, a carrot will be joining our team next week. | 1.2653 | 0.04930 | 98 | 74 | 22 | 2 |
1883 | We lost the spice contract. | 1.2653 | 0.04930 | 98 | 74 | 22 | 2 |
1884 | I’m sorry but I’m making you work on Halloween | 1.2653 | 0.05340 | 98 | 76 | 18 | 4 |
1885 | 11 angry pumpkins | 1.2653 | 0.05720 | 98 | 78 | 14 | 6 |
1886 | Boss, wearing these for Halloween is one thing, wearing these all of October is too much! | 1.2651 | 0.06201 | 83 | 66 | 12 | 5 |
1887 | I assume everyone saw Frank's pie chart? | 1.2651 | 0.05959 | 83 | 65 | 14 | 4 |
1888 | Ok, who's wearing pumpkin spice? | 1.2651 | 0.05959 | 83 | 65 | 14 | 4 |
1889 | We’re going to have to make some more cuts until we turn those frowns into grins. | 1.2651 | 0.05707 | 83 | 64 | 16 | 3 |
1890 | I want everybody's candle burning on this, I want to SQUASH the competition. | 1.2651 | 0.05707 | 83 | 64 | 16 | 3 |
1891 | In a room full of Jacks, be a Jill. | 1.2651 | 0.06433 | 83 | 67 | 10 | 6 |
1892 | Okay team, let’s carve those frowns upside down! | 1.2651 | 0.05707 | 83 | 64 | 16 | 3 |
1893 | Gentleman, if we don’t reach our quota by Halloween, heads will roll. | 1.2651 | 0.05707 | 83 | 64 | 16 | 3 |
1894 | They're calling us the biggest bunch of gutless, empty-headed aesthetic hires since the Kardashians. I'd say that's *something* to be proud of! | 1.2651 | 0.05959 | 83 | 65 | 14 | 4 |
1895 | Let´s just say the spiced lattes will have a more human touch this time. | 1.2647 | 0.05899 | 102 | 83 | 11 | 8 |
1896 | Apparently I am the only one who got a treat last night. | 1.2647 | 0.06151 | 68 | 52 | 14 | 2 |
1897 | Let’s not lose our heads over this decision, gentlemen. | 1.2647 | 0.05390 | 68 | 50 | 18 | 0 |
1898 | So for the 10th straight year, your only ideas for our secretary Christmas gifts are…pies. | 1.2647 | 0.06151 | 68 | 52 | 14 | 2 |
1899 | It's good to be Pumpking. | 1.2647 | 0.06151 | 68 | 52 | 14 | 2 |
1900 | I think we can all agree a Jill-O-Lantern’s place is in the home. | 1.2647 | 0.05783 | 68 | 51 | 16 | 1 |
1901 | Rest assured, there's absolutely no truth to the rumor that your promotions were based on appearance. | 1.2644 | 0.05998 | 87 | 69 | 13 | 5 |
1902 | Wait until you see what I have planned for the November meeting. | 1.2644 | 0.06217 | 87 | 70 | 11 | 6 |
1903 | The Ichabod Crane Society will now come to order. | 1.2644 | 0.05288 | 87 | 66 | 19 | 2 |
1904 | First the bad news. We’ve been bought out by a pie company. The good news is, I’m retiring! | 1.2644 | 0.05288 | 87 | 66 | 19 | 2 |
1905 | Is this the best you could do for an anonymous vote? | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
1906 | Those in favor of renaming Halloween as King Pumpkin Day, say I | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
1907 | Finally, I need to see each of you eat a lit candle. | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
1908 | Hallowed be our meme. | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
1909 | oh c'mon. carve your enthusiasm! | 1.2644 | 0.05998 | 87 | 69 | 13 | 5 |
1910 | So, due to temporary supple-side shortages, we're asking for volunteers. | 1.2642 | 0.05069 | 106 | 82 | 20 | 4 |
1911 | I’m not seeing a lot of happy faces around the table. I can fix that with just a few cuts.” | 1.2642 | 0.05069 | 106 | 82 | 20 | 4 |
1912 | It's our peak season. Put on your happy face. | 1.2639 | 0.05932 | 72 | 55 | 15 | 2 |
1913 | Any ideas for November? | 1.2639 | 0.05932 | 72 | 55 | 15 | 2 |
1914 | We're giving out toothbrushes this year. | 1.2639 | 0.06850 | 72 | 58 | 9 | 5 |
1915 | Just because I've had my head cut open and the insides scooped out doesn't mean I can't be in charge! | 1.2639 | 0.05932 | 72 | 55 | 15 | 2 |
1916 | These staff cuts do not make me happy, it’s how my mouth was carved. | 1.2639 | 0.06253 | 72 | 56 | 13 | 3 |
1917 | Now that the bird is freed, Jack is back! | 1.2639 | 0.05932 | 72 | 55 | 15 | 2 |
1918 | We’re lit 🔥 | 1.2639 | 0.05932 | 72 | 55 | 15 | 2 |
1919 | After much consideration, we have decided not to sign the Smashing Pumpkins to our record label | 1.2639 | 0.05932 | 72 | 55 | 15 | 2 |
1920 | To start I'm ordering 11 pumpkin spice lattes | 1.2637 | 0.05376 | 91 | 70 | 18 | 3 |
1921 | The issue on the table is diversity. Let’s put our heads together, shall we | 1.2637 | 0.05376 | 91 | 70 | 18 | 3 |
1922 | Remember, if it wasn't for us there would be mo pumpkin pie. | 1.2637 | 0.05599 | 91 | 71 | 16 | 4 |
1923 | Who votes for the same spice mix this year? | 1.2637 | 0.05599 | 91 | 71 | 16 | 4 |
1924 | Next on the agenda, we need to discuss the apple pies in the company breakroom. | 1.2637 | 0.05376 | 91 | 70 | 18 | 3 |
1925 | Mr. O'Lantern, let's start with you. | 1.2637 | 0.05599 | 91 | 71 | 16 | 4 |
1926 | Hey, Jacks! Let's turn those frowns upside down! | 1.2637 | 0.05376 | 91 | 70 | 18 | 3 |
1927 | I don't mean to squash your ideas but I promise I will carve out a new plan. | 1.2637 | 0.04901 | 91 | 68 | 22 | 1 |
1928 | And there’s more good news! The roasted turkey helmets I ordered will be ready in time for our November meeting! | 1.2637 | 0.05813 | 91 | 72 | 14 | 5 |
1929 | Now that our work in the gourdroom has concluded, let's get smashed! | 1.2632 | 0.05641 | 95 | 75 | 15 | 5 |
1930 | Who ordered the pumpkin spice latte? | 1.2632 | 0.06588 | 76 | 61 | 10 | 5 |
1931 | I think we should lay low for Halloween. | 1.2632 | 0.06032 | 76 | 59 | 14 | 3 |
1932 | I appreciate you all staying late last night. | 1.2632 | 0.06032 | 76 | 59 | 14 | 3 |
1933 | On November 1st, heads are gonna roll. | 1.2632 | 0.05884 | 57 | 42 | 15 | 0 |
1934 | Either the Bottom Line improves, or heads will smash! | 1.2632 | 0.05229 | 95 | 73 | 19 | 3 |
1935 | Good job folks! This year is in the can! | 1.2632 | 0.05733 | 76 | 58 | 16 | 2 |
1936 | I propose we all wear our pumpkins past the 31-st. | 1.2632 | 0.06588 | 76 | 61 | 10 | 5 |
1937 | Hobgoblin's Anonymous | 1.2632 | 0.06316 | 76 | 60 | 12 | 4 |
1938 | Pumpkins? For Fall? Groundbreaking. | 1.2632 | 0.06316 | 76 | 60 | 12 | 4 |
1939 | Time to carve out the next chapter of our company. | 1.2632 | 0.06316 | 76 | 60 | 12 | 4 |
1940 | 'Dress for the job you want' | 1.2632 | 0.05733 | 76 | 58 | 16 | 2 |
1941 | I assure you, this is just a rough patch. | 1.2632 | 0.05439 | 95 | 74 | 17 | 4 |
1942 | We’ve gathered here today to discuss that which threatens us all: the encroachment of Christmas commercials into October. | 1.2632 | 0.06025 | 95 | 77 | 11 | 7 |
1943 | We need to make some changes to meet this year's diversity goals | 1.2626 | 0.05668 | 99 | 79 | 14 | 6 |
1944 | You all knew when I hired you that the day would come when I’d replace your brain with a candle! | 1.2625 | 0.05831 | 80 | 62 | 15 | 3 |
1945 | We only have one night, gentlemen. let’s make it good! | 1.2625 | 0.05260 | 80 | 60 | 19 | 1 |
1946 | Alright, Gentleman, now that I've spilled my guts, what do you think? | 1.2625 | 0.06350 | 80 | 64 | 11 | 5 |
1947 | I promise you, if we can make it through this patch, we'll all get a head! | 1.2625 | 0.05553 | 80 | 61 | 17 | 2 |
1948 | This economy is really carving us up. | 1.2625 | 0.05831 | 80 | 62 | 15 | 3 |
1949 | Don't think of a month-long Halloween season as a threat to your vitality, think of it as more jobs for pumpkins everywhere. | 1.2625 | 0.05553 | 80 | 61 | 17 | 2 |
1950 | According to the pie chart, I need to let two-to-three of you go. | 1.2625 | 0.05553 | 80 | 61 | 17 | 2 |
1951 | Nice to see some new faces around here | 1.2625 | 0.06096 | 80 | 63 | 13 | 4 |
1952 | We're loosing market to Chinese lights. It's time we focus on Pie Industry | 1.2625 | 0.05553 | 80 | 61 | 17 | 2 |
1953 | Last quarter we smashed the competi—sorry, poor choice of words. | 1.2623 | 0.06571 | 61 | 47 | 12 | 2 |
1954 | And that is why I am called the Great Pumpkin!" | 1.2623 | 0.05679 | 61 | 45 | 16 | 0 |
1955 | Listen up,we're cancelling Halloween this year. It's gonna save us a bundle! | 1.2619 | 0.05648 | 84 | 65 | 16 | 3 |
1956 | Let's talk rationally before we all get hot-headed. | 1.2619 | 0.05896 | 84 | 66 | 14 | 4 |
1957 | Now, I believe we should spice things up. | 1.2619 | 0.05896 | 84 | 66 | 14 | 4 |
1958 | So once the ‘Of All Trades’ are on board, all you ‘o’ Lanterns’ will be let go.“ | 1.2619 | 0.05896 | 84 | 66 | 14 | 4 |
1959 | Wilkins, thank you for pointing out that 90% of CEOs have eye triangles pointing down. We can discuss this further at your performance review. | 1.2619 | 0.05648 | 84 | 65 | 16 | 3 |
1960 | As long as you don’t fall asleep at your desks, you shouldn’t have to worry about the squirrels I’ve let loose in the office. | 1.2619 | 0.06135 | 84 | 67 | 12 | 5 |
1961 | Think! Show me you're not vegetables. | 1.2619 | 0.05648 | 84 | 65 | 16 | 3 |
1962 | C’mon Jack, we’re looking for ideas that are a little less hollow. | 1.2619 | 0.05896 | 84 | 66 | 14 | 4 |
1963 | Perhaps “getting ahead” was a poor choice of words… | 1.2619 | 0.05648 | 84 | 65 | 16 | 3 |
1964 | Well, John Boy, if you didn't want this many heirs competing for your parents' estate, you shouldn't have kept begging them to pump kin into the world for you to play with. | 1.2615 | 0.06308 | 65 | 50 | 13 | 2 |
1965 | We have successfully spooked our investors this quarter. | 1.2615 | 0.05915 | 65 | 49 | 15 | 1 |
1966 | Either we wear name tags or hire a new carver. | 1.2615 | 0.05915 | 65 | 49 | 15 | 1 |
1967 | Ethics aside fall profits are promising. | 1.2615 | 0.05915 | 65 | 49 | 15 | 1 |
1968 | the addition of pumpkins to the food pyramid is not good news! | 1.2614 | 0.05480 | 88 | 68 | 17 | 3 |
1969 | Time of the year or corporate environment, I just feel empty. | 1.2614 | 0.06153 | 88 | 71 | 11 | 6 |
1970 | Flameless candle sales are down this year” | 1.2614 | 0.05236 | 88 | 67 | 19 | 2 |
1971 | I’m Peter Peter, the new CEO. | 1.2609 | 0.06414 | 69 | 54 | 12 | 3 |
1972 | How can all our names be Jack? | 1.2609 | 0.05756 | 92 | 73 | 14 | 5 |
1973 | Gentlemen, please. The cuts may seem extreme, but I expect to see smiles on those faces. | 1.2609 | 0.05325 | 92 | 71 | 18 | 3 |
1974 | Your Halloween idea was brilliant, Mr. Chairman - but we have some concerns with the Thanksgiving 'stuffing' plans. | 1.2609 | 0.06073 | 69 | 53 | 14 | 2 |
1975 | I am happy to announce that we've just merged with Knife & Candle, Inc.! | 1.2609 | 0.05711 | 69 | 52 | 16 | 1 |
1976 | Now, if we can just keep our heads on the ball, I think we can smash our competition next month. | 1.2609 | 0.06414 | 69 | 54 | 12 | 3 |
1977 | Further cuts are coming. | 1.2609 | 0.05960 | 92 | 74 | 12 | 6 |
1978 | The good news is, the latest data shows our market share is on the rise. The bad news is, many of us are still being eaten by squirrels. | 1.2609 | 0.06738 | 69 | 55 | 10 | 4 |
1979 | So, diversity means other squash varieties? | 1.2609 | 0.06414 | 69 | 54 | 12 | 3 |
1980 | Welcome to the October Gourd meeting. | 1.2604 | 0.04966 | 96 | 73 | 21 | 2 |
1981 | Does anyone else have second thoughts about the new dress code? | 1.2604 | 0.04966 | 96 | 73 | 21 | 2 |
1982 | Effective November 1, O'Lantern Industries will be known as The Pie Guys. | 1.2603 | 0.05861 | 73 | 56 | 15 | 2 |
1983 | Let’s everyone lighten up. | 1.2603 | 0.05861 | 73 | 56 | 15 | 2 |
1984 | We are working on carving out a new corporate culture. | 1.2603 | 0.05861 | 73 | 56 | 15 | 2 |
1985 | October results were downright spooky. | 1.2603 | 0.05861 | 73 | 56 | 15 | 2 |
1986 | Why do I seem to be the only one who enjoys these meetings? | 1.2603 | 0.07041 | 73 | 60 | 7 | 6 |
1987 | Remind me,which one of you is Jack O’Lantern? | 1.2603 | 0.06177 | 73 | 57 | 13 | 3 |
1988 | For the record, I think you've all gone soft in the head. | 1.2603 | 0.06177 | 73 | 57 | 13 | 3 |
1989 | So, who did the face carving this time? | 1.2603 | 0.06177 | 73 | 57 | 13 | 3 |
1990 | I’m sorry to report that yes- pumpkin spice is real and yes- we should all be very concerned | 1.2603 | 0.06177 | 73 | 57 | 13 | 3 |
1991 | I said I had dibs on being Trump this year | 1.2603 | 0.06478 | 73 | 58 | 11 | 4 |
1992 | Sure, we have another vacancy. But investors loved the pie chart. | 1.2600 | 0.05049 | 100 | 77 | 20 | 3 |
1993 | As long as I still own at least 51% of the company, we'll keep these on until halloween is over. | 1.2600 | 0.05617 | 100 | 80 | 14 | 6 |
1994 | CEOs - Carved Executive Officers in training. | 1.2600 | 0.05435 | 100 | 79 | 16 | 5 |
1995 | Final point of business. After much negotiation, our dental plan has be approved! | 1.2600 | 0.05245 | 100 | 78 | 18 | 4 |
1996 | Stay away from Starbucks guys or you’ll end up in a latte. | 1.2597 | 0.05669 | 77 | 59 | 16 | 2 |
1997 | Let's go around the room and introduce ourselves. I'm seeing a bunch of new faces in the room this year. | 1.2597 | 0.05669 | 77 | 59 | 16 | 2 |
1998 | Well, let's look at the good side: there will be more candy than you can possibly eat. | 1.2597 | 0.05963 | 77 | 60 | 14 | 3 |
1999 | If sales don't pick up, heads are gonna roll! | 1.2597 | 0.05359 | 77 | 58 | 18 | 1 |
2000 | As our last order of business, I am pleased to announce that Peter,Peter has been terminated. | 1.2597 | 0.06243 | 77 | 61 | 12 | 4 |
2001 | For our annual Halloween luncheon, we've decided to serve low-level employee pumpkin pie. | 1.2597 | 0.06243 | 77 | 61 | 12 | 4 |
2002 | To be honest our November sales projections are looking pretty rotten. | 1.2597 | 0.05963 | 77 | 60 | 14 | 3 |
2003 | OK, so we have a tight deadline to meet before our heads all turn to mush. | 1.2596 | 0.05112 | 104 | 81 | 19 | 4 |
2004 | All those for my proposal, say “aye”. All against, say “pie”. | 1.2593 | 0.05768 | 81 | 63 | 15 | 3 |
2005 | Gentleman, I reject the Nepotism charges, I say we are all carved from the same cloth! | 1.2593 | 0.06029 | 81 | 64 | 13 | 4 |
2006 | Perhaps we should have a keynote by Charlie Brown. | 1.2593 | 0.06280 | 81 | 65 | 11 | 5 |
2007 | Maybe the problem is you're in the wrong field." | 1.2593 | 0.06029 | 81 | 64 | 13 | 4 |
2008 | Ask them how they would feel if you cut out their eyes,, gave them a little triangle instead of a nose and chopped into their mouths to make them look happy | 1.2593 | 0.06029 | 81 | 64 | 13 | 4 |
2009 | We are projecting a downturn in sales after October 31. | 1.2593 | 0.05493 | 81 | 62 | 17 | 2 |
2010 | How about w pumpkin spice break? | 1.2593 | 0.06029 | 81 | 64 | 13 | 4 |
2011 | Let’s put our heads together, very gently. | 1.2593 | 0.05205 | 81 | 61 | 19 | 1 |
2012 | None of you can hold a candle compared to me." | 1.2593 | 0.05493 | 81 | 62 | 17 | 2 |
2013 | Everyone will get to share their ideas, one seed at a time. | 1.2593 | 0.05493 | 81 | 62 | 17 | 2 |
2014 | Let's get the vote taken before we rot. | 1.2593 | 0.06754 | 81 | 67 | 7 | 7 |
2015 | I want to leverage your synergies | 1.2593 | 0.06280 | 81 | 65 | 11 | 5 |
2016 | …and good to see you Jack, and Jack, thank you for coming, and Jack, hope you’re feeling better…and Jack and Jack from accounting, welcome… and Jack from advertising, how’s your first week been?…And Jack, looking good… | 1.2593 | 0.05768 | 81 | 63 | 15 | 3 |
2017 | Welcome to the meeting of Dwight shrutes | 1.2593 | 0.05493 | 81 | 62 | 17 | 2 |
2018 | This fall’s team retreat will conclude with a trip to a pie making class. I don’t know what we are making yet but I heard it will blow our minds. | 1.2593 | 0.06521 | 81 | 66 | 9 | 6 |
2019 | Apparently none of you got the “smile” memo . . . | 1.2588 | 0.05333 | 85 | 65 | 18 | 2 |
2020 | Remember your costumes! | 1.2588 | 0.06070 | 85 | 68 | 12 | 5 |
2021 | Please welcome our motivational speaker, Peter Pumpkin Eater. | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
2022 | At our next Gourd Meeting, I will discuss how we will squash the competition. | 1.2588 | 0.05333 | 85 | 65 | 18 | 2 |
2023 | We push-back against October Christmas decoration sales by selling Halloween Tree Ornaments. | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
2024 | I've carved out a face, er, PLACE, for each of you. | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
2025 | It’s about time we moved away from that Trick or Treat slogan | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
2026 | Looks like you all figured out how I'm carving up the profits this year. | 1.2588 | 0.05333 | 85 | 65 | 18 | 2 |
2027 | The Squash Court has ordered us to diversify. | 1.2588 | 0.05589 | 85 | 66 | 16 | 3 |
2028 | Who’s ready to spice things up around here?! | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
2029 | Some might even say I’m a Jack-o-lantern of all trades | 1.2588 | 0.06070 | 85 | 68 | 12 | 5 |
2030 | This could have been an email. | 1.2586 | 0.07993 | 58 | 48 | 5 | 5 |
2031 | Bob, that proposal to make lemon meringue the official pie of Thanksgiving didn't save us last year either. | 1.2584 | 0.05426 | 89 | 69 | 17 | 3 |
2032 | During these heated discussions, it's all too easy to forget the many ways in which we're alike. | 1.2584 | 0.04933 | 89 | 67 | 21 | 1 |
2033 | We're meeting today to be ahead of the carve | 1.2584 | 0.05426 | 89 | 69 | 17 | 3 |
2034 | Don’t lose your heads but as of now, the Sleepy Hollow Project has been cancelled and you’ve all been made redundant. | 1.2584 | 0.05656 | 89 | 70 | 15 | 4 |
2035 | How about we order some pumpkin spice lattes? | 1.2584 | 0.05426 | 89 | 69 | 17 | 3 |
2036 | What happened to our seed money? | 1.2584 | 0.05656 | 89 | 70 | 15 | 4 |
2037 | I thought you'd be thrilled to know that I'm getting a bonus! | 1.2581 | 0.06056 | 62 | 47 | 14 | 1 |
2038 | Lesson learned: if you're going to date a witch who commonly turns people's heads into pumpkins out of spite, don't invite ten of your business associates over to her house to carve their initials into her disabled son's chest. | 1.2581 | 0.06874 | 62 | 49 | 10 | 3 |
2039 | We've got pumpkin spice in every conceivable food option; the next frontier is body lotion and shampoo! | 1.2581 | 0.05902 | 93 | 75 | 12 | 6 |
2040 | I’m beginning to think this board needs a bit more diversity. | 1.2581 | 0.07249 | 62 | 50 | 8 | 4 |
2041 | Okay, then, no more pumpkin pie jokes." | 1.2581 | 0.05603 | 62 | 46 | 16 | 0 |
2042 | Here's news to one or two of you. Our Diversity Officer says we have to get some Butter Nut Squash on the Board. | 1.2581 | 0.06478 | 62 | 48 | 12 | 2 |
2043 | YOU'RE ALL JUST A BUNCH OF TALKING HEADS | 1.2581 | 0.05603 | 62 | 46 | 16 | 0 |
2044 | It's just for one day. | 1.2581 | 0.06056 | 62 | 47 | 14 | 1 |
2045 | 1) OK,take off the masks,it's now November 1. | 1.2581 | 0.05048 | 93 | 71 | 20 | 2 |
2046 | The meeting to pump up this year's morale fell on deaf ears, mostly because they didn't carved any. | 1.2581 | 0.05275 | 93 | 72 | 18 | 3 |
2047 | Orange you glad you work here? | 1.2581 | 0.06478 | 62 | 48 | 12 | 2 |
2048 | The market’s been frightful. | 1.2577 | 0.05135 | 97 | 75 | 19 | 3 |
2049 | Good Morning, Jack, Jackie, Jack-of-all Trades. Good to see you Jack Man, Jacko, Jack-in-a-Million.... | 1.2577 | 0.05913 | 97 | 79 | 11 | 7 |
2050 | Okay, now where are all the usual devils? We can't make quorum without them. | 1.2577 | 0.05135 | 97 | 75 | 19 | 3 |
2051 | As a result of Mr Musk’s successful takeover bid, I’m sorry to advise you have all been demoted to lantern duty. | 1.2577 | 0.05135 | 97 | 75 | 19 | 3 |
2052 | We will be implementing company-wide cuts this halloween | 1.2577 | 0.05728 | 97 | 78 | 13 | 6 |
2053 | I called this gourd meeting to squash the seeds of discontent. | 1.2576 | 0.06588 | 66 | 52 | 11 | 3 |
2054 | With one yea and 10 nays, the motion fails. | 1.2576 | 0.05838 | 66 | 50 | 15 | 1 |
2055 | I'm afraid my marketing strategy of us all using our botox product has backfired somewhat | 1.2576 | 0.06588 | 66 | 52 | 11 | 3 |
2056 | So, what can I do to change those frowns into smiles? | 1.2576 | 0.06588 | 66 | 52 | 11 | 3 |
2057 | The market doesn't trust us because we're seedy. | 1.2576 | 0.05838 | 66 | 50 | 15 | 1 |
2058 | Let's turn those frowns upside down...Linda? Scalpel?" | 1.2576 | 0.06588 | 66 | 52 | 11 | 3 |
2059 | We have to get right to work before our heads start to rot. | 1.2576 | 0.05838 | 66 | 50 | 15 | 1 |
2060 | How about a round of pumpkin spice latte's? | 1.2576 | 0.06933 | 66 | 53 | 9 | 4 |
2061 | Next on the agenda, how do we expand Pumpkin Spice into Easter? | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2062 | The pie chart doesn't lie, we pumpkins are getting decimated out there. | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2063 | Projections show we’re going to get smashed | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2064 | The way I see it, we have about two weeks before things falls apart. | 1.2571 | 0.06333 | 70 | 55 | 12 | 3 |
2065 | I've been told we have to diversify. | 1.2571 | 0.05997 | 70 | 54 | 14 | 2 |
2066 | I understand your concerns about retention, but ultimately spooking from home is unsustainable. | 1.2571 | 0.05997 | 70 | 54 | 14 | 2 |
2067 | This year’s halloween bash will feature Smashing Pumkins | 1.2571 | 0.05997 | 70 | 54 | 14 | 2 |
2068 | And on the 31st, all employees will participate in a candlelight vigil. | 1.2571 | 0.06333 | 70 | 55 | 12 | 3 |
2069 | I hope you'll all join me in getting smashed after this gourd meeting. | 1.2571 | 0.06652 | 70 | 56 | 10 | 4 |
2070 | It’s time we take the problem of worker burnout more seriously. | 1.2571 | 0.04885 | 105 | 81 | 21 | 3 |
2071 | Thanks for coming guys, I see your all in a good mood today. | 1.2571 | 0.06956 | 70 | 57 | 8 | 5 |
2072 | The press is complaining about too much nepotism here. | 1.2571 | 0.05262 | 70 | 52 | 18 | 0 |
2073 | Don't look so downhearted, our time to shine is coming soon. | 1.2571 | 0.05641 | 70 | 53 | 16 | 1 |
2074 | The good news is that after Halloween you can take off your masks | 1.2571 | 0.05641 | 70 | 53 | 16 | 1 |
2075 | I'm letting you all go at the end of the month | 1.2571 | 0.05997 | 70 | 54 | 14 | 2 |
2076 | It’s the big Halloween party tonight as you all know, but let’s not lose our heads. | 1.2571 | 0.06333 | 70 | 55 | 12 | 3 |
2077 | What's inside your suit? Mine's shredded paper. | 1.2571 | 0.05069 | 105 | 82 | 19 | 4 |
2078 | All, it’s time to concede - I DID NOT win the election ! | 1.2571 | 0.05069 | 105 | 82 | 19 | 4 |
2079 | I say, Jones, that’s a smashing idea! | 1.2571 | 0.06333 | 70 | 55 | 12 | 3 |
2080 | The media says we're in trouble, but they don't know jack. | 1.2568 | 0.06399 | 74 | 59 | 11 | 4 |
2081 | Our budget has been gutted. | 1.2568 | 0.06399 | 74 | 59 | 11 | 4 |
2082 | What I like about this team is our commitment to diversity. | 1.2568 | 0.05792 | 74 | 57 | 15 | 2 |
2083 | o'lanterns, meet Jack | 1.2568 | 0.06103 | 74 | 58 | 13 | 3 |
2084 | Elon bought the company and made me CEO. You’re all fired! | 1.2568 | 0.05792 | 74 | 57 | 15 | 2 |
2085 | I know I wanted to hire all Yes-Men but I did expect more originality for Halloween costumes! | 1.2568 | 0.05113 | 74 | 55 | 19 | 0 |
2086 | We have to be more than just a bunch of Talking Heads | 1.2568 | 0.06103 | 74 | 58 | 13 | 3 |
2087 | Pumpkin Spice Latte's for all my friends...! | 1.2568 | 0.06682 | 74 | 60 | 9 | 5 |
2088 | Yes Kyle, nothing personal but 'Once you let your guts out you're able to shine' as a slogan is not the vibe we're looking for. Can you make it more Hallmark? | 1.2568 | 0.06399 | 74 | 59 | 11 | 4 |
2089 | It seems we've really spooked the markets again. | 1.2566 | 0.04833 | 113 | 88 | 21 | 4 |
2090 | Be on gourd for more cuts. | 1.2564 | 0.06435 | 78 | 63 | 10 | 5 |
2091 | I have some very good news. This year's pumpkin spice kickoff has been moved up to July 4. | 1.2564 | 0.05300 | 78 | 59 | 18 | 1 |
2092 | Listen up! I just came up with a smashing idea... | 1.2564 | 0.05300 | 78 | 59 | 18 | 1 |
2093 | So, then, it is unanimous. | 1.2564 | 0.05895 | 78 | 61 | 14 | 3 |
2094 | And believe me, if heads roll around here it’s going to be really messy. | 1.2564 | 0.05300 | 78 | 59 | 18 | 1 |
2095 | ..a priest,a rabbi and a jack-o-lantern walk into a bar | 1.2564 | 0.05895 | 78 | 61 | 14 | 3 |
2096 | Welcome to the inaugural meeting of the diversity committee | 1.2564 | 0.05605 | 78 | 60 | 16 | 2 |
2097 | Okay men time for everyone to light up 🔥🎃 | 1.2564 | 0.04976 | 78 | 58 | 20 | 0 |
2098 | Folks, i know that in september pumpkin spice lattes outdid us, but now its our time to shine | 1.2564 | 0.06171 | 78 | 62 | 12 | 4 |
2099 | Let's go clockwise around the table and introduce ourselves. My name is Jack O'Lantern." | 1.2561 | 0.05435 | 82 | 63 | 17 | 2 |
2100 | We’re just not sure you’re the right face for the organization. | 1.2561 | 0.05964 | 82 | 65 | 13 | 4 |
2101 | Do we have any volunteers to work in our pie factory? | 1.2561 | 0.06211 | 82 | 66 | 11 | 5 |
2102 | Our lawyers have told us we need more Jane O' Lanterns on the Board. | 1.2561 | 0.06678 | 82 | 68 | 7 | 7 |
2103 | Since we are way out of our field I move we hire a consultant! | 1.2561 | 0.05706 | 82 | 64 | 15 | 3 |
2104 | We have to make some cuts. Who's for pie? | 1.2561 | 0.05435 | 82 | 63 | 17 | 2 |
2105 | Come on, guys. You all knew when you signed on that it was seasonal work. | 1.2561 | 0.06449 | 82 | 67 | 9 | 6 |
2106 | The good news is financing is in place. The bad news is Peter Peter is joining the Board. | 1.2561 | 0.05964 | 82 | 65 | 13 | 4 |
2107 | Well, fine! Does anyone have a better idea!? | 1.2561 | 0.06678 | 82 | 68 | 7 | 7 |
2108 | I think it's time we diversified. | 1.2561 | 0.05151 | 82 | 62 | 19 | 1 |
2109 | Hello, I’m Elon Musk and you are all fired | 1.2561 | 0.05706 | 82 | 64 | 15 | 3 |
2110 | Jacks, let’s go out there and make it a spooky Halloween. | 1.2561 | 0.05435 | 82 | 63 | 17 | 2 |
2111 | Pumpkin spice latte and pumpkin pie for everyone, it's on the company | 1.2561 | 0.06211 | 82 | 66 | 11 | 5 |
2112 | Our pie charts show that not everyone is contributing. | 1.2558 | 0.06006 | 86 | 69 | 12 | 5 |
2113 | Who said we needed to spice it up in here? | 1.2558 | 0.05532 | 86 | 67 | 16 | 3 |
2114 | Now, now...you'll love working with the Jill O'lantern. | 1.2558 | 0.05532 | 86 | 67 | 16 | 3 |
2115 | Who here likes pumpkin pie? Just kidding! | 1.2558 | 0.05532 | 86 | 67 | 16 | 3 |
2116 | Sure, profits are down, but the holiday push is ahead of us. Don't lose your gourds. | 1.2558 | 0.05774 | 86 | 68 | 14 | 4 |
2117 | Doesn’t one of you have an idea I don’t have to squash? | 1.2558 | 0.05774 | 86 | 68 | 14 | 4 |
2118 | We need ideas, people! We can’t let those clowns win. | 1.2558 | 0.05279 | 86 | 66 | 18 | 2 |
2119 | And the candle goes to... | 1.2556 | 0.05819 | 90 | 72 | 13 | 5 |
2120 | I need one good idea to turn those frowns upside down. | 1.2556 | 0.05373 | 90 | 70 | 17 | 3 |
2121 | Glad to see that everyone actually gets the memos. | 1.2556 | 0.05600 | 90 | 71 | 15 | 4 |
2122 | We value diversity above all else. | 1.2556 | 0.05373 | 90 | 70 | 17 | 3 |
2123 | Peter Peter the pumpkin leader finally realized that his brain trust had been lobotomized. | 1.2556 | 0.05600 | 90 | 71 | 15 | 4 |
2124 | Where are the pie charts I asked you to prepare? | 1.2553 | 0.05440 | 94 | 74 | 16 | 4 |
2125 | I am pleased to announce that the “Headless Horseman” has made a hostile takeover bid! | 1.2553 | 0.05647 | 94 | 75 | 14 | 5 |
2126 | Hocus Pocus Group | 1.2553 | 0.06038 | 94 | 77 | 10 | 7 |
2127 | I thought that you all would be happy. | 1.2551 | 0.05292 | 98 | 77 | 17 | 4 |
2128 | We'll start things off with the layoff list: Jack, you're out. | 1.2551 | 0.05292 | 98 | 77 | 17 | 4 |
2129 | We've had to let the Chief Diversity Officer go. | 1.2551 | 0.05487 | 98 | 78 | 15 | 5 |
2130 | So . . . time to address who will receive golden parachutes in our acquisition by Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater, Inc. | 1.2542 | 0.07087 | 59 | 47 | 9 | 3 |
2131 | THAT'S how they get the spice??? | 1.2542 | 0.06662 | 59 | 46 | 11 | 2 |
2132 | Guys I get that we're all, like, huge fans of the movie and everything, but I think it's problematic to bring Johnny Depp back for the sequel. People will learn to love a new Ichabod. | 1.2542 | 0.05717 | 59 | 44 | 15 | 0 |
2133 | We almost had a deal, but there were too many carve outs. | 1.2542 | 0.06208 | 59 | 45 | 13 | 1 |
2134 | I can see from your reactions most of you aren’t cut out to make these tough decisions. | 1.2542 | 0.06208 | 59 | 45 | 13 | 1 |
2135 | We've been purchased by Watermelons International and they will be making some changes. | 1.2540 | 0.06387 | 63 | 49 | 12 | 2 |
2136 | Welcome to our annual Halloween survivors meeting. | 1.2540 | 0.06776 | 63 | 50 | 10 | 3 |
2137 | Welcome to diversity training. | 1.2540 | 0.06387 | 63 | 49 | 12 | 2 |
2138 | This is arbitrary and capricious! | 1.2540 | 0.06387 | 63 | 49 | 12 | 2 |
2139 | Get out the carving knives, I have some very good news. | 1.2537 | 0.05763 | 67 | 51 | 15 | 1 |
2140 | Yes, I know - this could have been an email | 1.2537 | 0.06143 | 67 | 52 | 13 | 2 |
2141 | Ten little pumpkins sitting at a desk Three of you are fired and now there are less | 1.2537 | 0.06501 | 67 | 53 | 11 | 3 |
2142 | So we’re in agreement. It’s pumpkin spice flavor again! | 1.2537 | 0.06501 | 67 | 53 | 11 | 3 |
2143 | Where are the happy faces? | 1.2535 | 0.05923 | 71 | 55 | 14 | 2 |
2144 | So this is how you get a head in my company... | 1.2535 | 0.05573 | 71 | 54 | 16 | 1 |
2145 | I'm happy to report that Peter Peter has agreed to join us as a full partner. | 1.2535 | 0.06867 | 71 | 58 | 8 | 5 |
2146 | Why not take the risk? We’ll all be rotting by Thanksgiving, anyway! | 1.2535 | 0.05923 | 71 | 55 | 14 | 2 |
2147 | This meeting needs a straw man. | 1.2535 | 0.05923 | 71 | 55 | 14 | 2 |
2148 | As you all know, our primary focus this quarter will be on stalk buy-backs... | 1.2535 | 0.06567 | 71 | 57 | 10 | 4 |
2149 | Profits are down guys. Heads will roll | 1.2535 | 0.05923 | 71 | 55 | 14 | 2 |
2150 | So - can any of you honestly say you were great this year | 1.2533 | 0.06869 | 75 | 62 | 7 | 6 |
2151 | And now the end is near | 1.2533 | 0.06031 | 75 | 59 | 13 | 3 |
2152 | All in favor grin, all opposed frown. The grins have it! | 1.2533 | 0.06031 | 75 | 59 | 13 | 3 |
2153 | We are all going to have to work overtime on the last day of October. | 1.2533 | 0.06031 | 75 | 59 | 13 | 3 |
2154 | I'm sorry to say this, but you're all cut. | 1.2533 | 0.06323 | 75 | 60 | 11 | 4 |
2155 | Relax. Ignore the pie chart. | 1.2533 | 0.06031 | 75 | 59 | 13 | 3 |
2156 | And now the report from our new CPO. Ready, Jack? | 1.2533 | 0.05724 | 75 | 58 | 15 | 2 |
2157 | Guys,get your carving knives out because these profits are gonna make you want to smile. | 1.2533 | 0.06031 | 75 | 59 | 13 | 3 |
2158 | Of course, heads will roll… | 1.2533 | 0.06031 | 75 | 59 | 13 | 3 |
2159 | Last on today’s agenda, The band, Smashing Pumpkins, is looking for a new CD cover featuring a catapult. They need volunteers! | 1.2533 | 0.05724 | 75 | 58 | 15 | 2 |
2160 | So....Where are we on the "Eating Pumpkin Pie causes Male Pattern Baldness" campaign? | 1.2533 | 0.06601 | 75 | 61 | 9 | 5 |
2161 | Oh Boo-hoo! Ralph fell off the window ledge. He’s completely smashed. | 1.2533 | 0.06031 | 75 | 59 | 13 | 3 |
2162 | On to more important things, Dave do you have the carving knife? | 1.2533 | 0.06323 | 75 | 60 | 11 | 4 |
2163 | Now, do any of you worry you weren’t cut out for this work? | 1.2533 | 0.05400 | 75 | 57 | 17 | 1 |
2164 | Welcome back to our yearly gourd meeting... | 1.2533 | 0.06601 | 75 | 61 | 9 | 5 |
2165 | So our next big development project: how do we get these to light up from the inside in a medically safe and environmentally friendly way? | 1.2532 | 0.06101 | 79 | 63 | 12 | 4 |
2166 | Our Halloween Fun Day is coming up - I'll need some volunteers for the smashed pumpkin contest. | 1.2532 | 0.05829 | 79 | 62 | 14 | 3 |
2167 | Don’t worry. I assure you we are doing everything in our power to locate Peter Pumpkin eater! | 1.2532 | 0.05243 | 79 | 60 | 18 | 1 |
2168 | Are there any volunteers for headless horseman or do we draw straws? | 1.2532 | 0.05544 | 79 | 61 | 16 | 2 |
2169 | Santa keeps violating the Black Friday Agreement. | 1.2532 | 0.04923 | 79 | 59 | 20 | 0 |
2170 | I loved the cartoon filters we did on Zoom and want to continue the tradition now that we are back in person | 1.2532 | 0.06101 | 79 | 63 | 12 | 4 |
2171 | The Gourd of Directors announces another round of cuts. | 1.2532 | 0.06361 | 79 | 64 | 10 | 5 |
2172 | why so sad? You all have a seat at the table and not on the porch. | 1.2532 | 0.05243 | 79 | 60 | 18 | 1 |
2173 | Thank you, Jack. Next we’ll hear from Jack, then Jack, and then you, Jack, after Jack. Go ahead, Jack. | 1.2532 | 0.05544 | 79 | 61 | 16 | 2 |
2174 | Here’s news to reverse those frowns— pumpkin spice is no longer seasonal! | 1.2530 | 0.06143 | 83 | 67 | 11 | 5 |
2175 | Our company is no longer scary. We need fresh ideas. So scare me. | 1.2530 | 0.05899 | 83 | 66 | 13 | 4 |
2176 | What do you mean you didn't bring a candle..? | 1.2530 | 0.05378 | 83 | 64 | 17 | 2 |
2177 | One of you is moonlighting as a pumpkin coach for Cinderella. She's converting all of her horse powered vehicles to electric. I guarantee you'll lose your job here at Horse Power, Inc. if you continue. | 1.2530 | 0.05645 | 83 | 65 | 15 | 3 |
2178 | That guy bought Twitter, and they call US punkin' heads? | 1.2530 | 0.05899 | 83 | 66 | 13 | 4 |
2179 | Our outside sales manager Mr. Peter Peter has a wife, but can't keep her so I took it upon myself to suggest the members of this board would see she is kept very well while he is away. | 1.2530 | 0.05378 | 83 | 64 | 17 | 2 |
2180 | Thank you for carving out time for this meeting today. | 1.2530 | 0.04801 | 83 | 62 | 21 | 0 |
2181 | Great news, we've been acquired by Starbucks and assigned to the Pumpkin Spice Division, and they said they will find a use for the whole team! | 1.2530 | 0.05899 | 83 | 66 | 13 | 4 |
2182 | All in favor of Artificial Incandescence, say AI. | 1.2530 | 0.05899 | 83 | 66 | 13 | 4 |
2183 | I’m absolutely gutted to be leaving you all | 1.2530 | 0.05899 | 83 | 66 | 13 | 4 |
2184 | Great thinking with “Trump’s White House”, Kevin. I think we really nailed the scary Halloween costumes this year. | 1.2530 | 0.06143 | 83 | 67 | 11 | 5 |
2185 | Diversity isn't so scary. | 1.2529 | 0.05476 | 87 | 68 | 16 | 3 |
2186 | Everyone wants a piece of the pie. Gentlemen, WE ARE THE PIE! | 1.2529 | 0.05715 | 87 | 69 | 14 | 4 |
2187 | Better than being a bunch of knuckleheads. | 1.2529 | 0.06165 | 87 | 71 | 10 | 6 |
2188 | This meeting is lit. | 1.2529 | 0.05944 | 87 | 70 | 12 | 5 |
2189 | Realizing your boss had his brains scooped out. | 1.2529 | 0.05715 | 87 | 69 | 14 | 4 |
2190 | This is my last meeting as your CEO, Ichabod Crane will be here for the meeting in a few days, I hope you give him a warm welcome | 1.2529 | 0.04964 | 87 | 66 | 20 | 1 |
2191 | To meet our diversity target, I am offering a new incentive to anyone who would like to be known as Jill. | 1.2529 | 0.05226 | 87 | 67 | 18 | 2 |
2192 | Profits were low last quarter so we’re making a shift from ‘seeds’ to ‘filling’ | 1.2529 | 0.05476 | 87 | 68 | 16 | 3 |
2193 | Now listen here, all you punks...this thing's gonna get every Jack-o-Lantern lit up from here to Massachusetts...and by golly we're gonna stay lit up! | 1.2527 | 0.05546 | 91 | 72 | 15 | 4 |
2194 | Fellow Atheist Pumpkins, let us consider the motion that there is no Gourd... | 1.2527 | 0.05546 | 91 | 72 | 15 | 4 |
2195 | Our stocks rose all through October. Who could have seen demand suddenly crash? | 1.2527 | 0.05546 | 91 | 72 | 15 | 4 |
2196 | Management says we need to cut down our workforce and increase production of pies. | 1.2527 | 0.05321 | 91 | 71 | 17 | 3 |
2197 | Gentlemen. We are being attacked by hungry squirrels! How can we protect ourselves? | 1.2527 | 0.05546 | 91 | 72 | 15 | 4 |
2198 | I really want to thank you. The company is desperate for more pumpkin pie and I knew I could count on you to give your all. | 1.2526 | 0.05177 | 95 | 74 | 18 | 3 |
2199 | Glad to see our stalks are up | 1.2525 | 0.05438 | 99 | 79 | 15 | 5 |
2200 | They all knew Jack was the perfect talking head to spice things up at the board meeting, but they hated him anyway. | 1.2524 | 0.05293 | 103 | 82 | 16 | 5 |
2201 | seriously, is everybody here also named Jack? | 1.2523 | 0.05159 | 107 | 85 | 17 | 5 |
2202 | We need to smash heads, if need be, to reach our third quarter goals. | 1.2523 | 0.05034 | 111 | 88 | 18 | 5 |
2203 | In a moment, knives will be distributed, and we will turn those frowns upside down! | 1.2523 | 0.05034 | 111 | 88 | 18 | 5 |
2204 | The good news is that the demand for pumpkin spice is through the roof. The bad news, for some of you ... | 1.2500 | 0.06299 | 64 | 50 | 12 | 2 |
2205 | ...and then the new Taylor Swift album played over and over again. | 1.2500 | 0.06248 | 76 | 61 | 11 | 4 |
2206 | Yes, the rumors are true: In 48 hours we'll all be mulch. | 1.2500 | 0.05705 | 92 | 74 | 13 | 5 |
2207 | I heard they have pie in the cafeteria today. | 1.2500 | 0.05423 | 104 | 84 | 14 | 6 |
2208 | Well, it's unanimous then. | 1.2500 | 0.06682 | 64 | 51 | 10 | 3 |
2209 | I'm thinking with a witch or two a ghost and maybe even a black cat our board would be more inclusive. | 1.2500 | 0.05851 | 72 | 56 | 14 | 2 |
2210 | Judging by your carved faces, I see you're not happy with the new bonus structure... | 1.2500 | 0.05851 | 72 | 56 | 14 | 2 |
2211 | Wait, what? A DEI initiative? Are you out of your gourd? | 1.2500 | 0.05690 | 68 | 52 | 15 | 1 |
2212 | We, as a board, have been called empty-headed. We need to respond. Suggestions? | 1.2500 | 0.06248 | 76 | 61 | 11 | 4 |
2213 | OK, now that we’re all out of Linus’ pumpkin patch, I call this meeting to order….. | 1.2500 | 0.06248 | 76 | 61 | 11 | 4 |
2214 | For a second there I had the seed of an idea, but it's gone now. | 1.2500 | 0.06063 | 68 | 53 | 13 | 2 |
2215 | Nobody *wants* the 'Trumpkin' rebrand, Peter, but the likeness is uncanny, and we all have bills to pay. | 1.2500 | 0.05585 | 84 | 66 | 15 | 3 |
2216 | I want to see more smiles around the table! | 1.2500 | 0.06415 | 68 | 54 | 11 | 3 |
2217 | Okay, let's turn those frowns around even if it means standing on your heads! | 1.2500 | 0.05421 | 88 | 69 | 16 | 3 |
2218 | I know the situation is dire; I'm just carved this way. | 1.2500 | 0.05492 | 92 | 73 | 15 | 4 |
2219 | Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Why the long faces? This diversity thing; it, too, shall pass. | 1.2500 | 0.06563 | 60 | 47 | 11 | 2 |
2220 | I need a change of attitude folks, or heads will roll | 1.2500 | 0.05339 | 76 | 58 | 17 | 1 |
2221 | Let's carve a smile and have a great week everyone! | 1.2500 | 0.06289 | 80 | 65 | 10 | 5 |
2222 | Our new carve-out should help squash the homogeneity in this gourdroom. | 1.2500 | 0.06682 | 64 | 51 | 10 | 3 |
2223 | So the latest sales figures indicate people strongly prefer plastic pumpkins. Fortunately for me, as soon as I heard this I dumped everything and went short. | 1.2500 | 0.05339 | 96 | 76 | 16 | 4 |
2224 | All right! All hands on deck to tackle our biggest challenge: how to stay relevant past October 31. | 1.2500 | 0.07066 | 68 | 56 | 7 | 5 |
2225 | Thank you for hiring me as the new director. My name is Peter-Peter. | 1.2500 | 0.05960 | 76 | 60 | 13 | 3 |
2226 | I don't like anymore than you do....but those little decorative gourds are here to stay. | 1.2500 | 0.06415 | 68 | 54 | 11 | 3 |
2227 | LED's are for CEO's only! | 1.2500 | 0.06682 | 64 | 51 | 10 | 3 |
2228 | Sorry fellows, there's only room for one Jack at the table. | 1.2500 | 0.05492 | 92 | 73 | 15 | 4 |
2229 | Great news! We’re going head first into the frozen pie market. | 1.2500 | 0.06176 | 72 | 57 | 12 | 3 |
2230 | You’re all canned, pumpkins! | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
2231 | We're going into the pie business. | 1.2500 | 0.05960 | 76 | 60 | 13 | 3 |
2232 | Second prize is .... steak knives! | 1.2500 | 0.06415 | 68 | 54 | 11 | 3 |
2233 | All in favor of an eyeglasses and dental plan, raise your hand | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2234 | well it's after midnight | 1.2500 | 0.06063 | 68 | 53 | 13 | 2 |
2235 | So what do I have to do to get you guys to lighten up? | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
2236 | Sure, we're in a bad patch now, but maybe a knife at our throat is just what it'll take for us to finally see what we're made of. | 1.2500 | 0.05339 | 96 | 76 | 16 | 4 |
2237 | We're not sure why yet, but dental premiums will triple next year. | 1.2500 | 0.05690 | 68 | 52 | 15 | 1 |
2238 | So we all agree except one that a stem is a part of jack-o'-lantern. | 1.2500 | 0.05322 | 84 | 65 | 17 | 2 |
2239 | OK, team.....today is the day we put our heads together and create something special. Who brought the cinnamon? | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2240 | Sales are down so I am afraid some of you will have to go seed. | 1.2500 | 0.05893 | 64 | 49 | 14 | 1 |
2241 | So, who booked Smashing Pumpkins for the Christmas party band? | 1.2500 | 0.07043 | 64 | 52 | 8 | 4 |
2242 | Meeting at the gourd room | 1.2500 | 0.05637 | 60 | 45 | 15 | 0 |
2243 | I think that we have oranged things very nicely. | 1.2500 | 0.06563 | 60 | 47 | 11 | 2 |
2244 | I told you Botox worked. | 1.2500 | 0.06176 | 72 | 57 | 12 | 3 |
2245 | In time, I think you'll get used to wearing a seasonal Covid mask. | 1.2500 | 0.05837 | 84 | 67 | 13 | 4 |
2246 | Off with their heads I say! | 1.2500 | 0.05735 | 96 | 78 | 12 | 6 |
2247 | All right team! Again this is our season, let’s make the most of it. | 1.2500 | 0.05175 | 88 | 68 | 18 | 2 |
2248 | Our terms on this board will expire in two to three weeks. | 1.2500 | 0.06415 | 68 | 54 | 11 | 3 |
2249 | We need more individuality in this room. | 1.2500 | 0.05046 | 84 | 64 | 19 | 1 |
2250 | You'll all be filling in at our Pie Division next week. | 1.2500 | 0.05421 | 88 | 69 | 16 | 3 |
2251 | We must be prepared to SQUASH any competition this Halloween. | 1.2500 | 0.06682 | 64 | 51 | 10 | 3 |
2252 | Quaker meeting has begun, no more laughing, no more fun. | 1.2500 | 0.06063 | 68 | 53 | 13 | 2 |
2253 | I think we all knew these cuts were coming. | 1.2500 | 0.05851 | 72 | 56 | 14 | 2 |
2254 | Heh, heh, I could see a light go on in your heads when I mentioned the severance package. | 1.2500 | 0.05339 | 76 | 58 | 17 | 1 |
2255 | Hmmm, it looks like many of you won't make it to next week's meeting | 1.2500 | 0.05637 | 60 | 45 | 15 | 0 |
2256 | Forget the long term.. this is our time to shine. | 1.2500 | 0.06749 | 68 | 55 | 9 | 4 |
2257 | I had to fire Jack — he was all squishy inside | 1.2500 | 0.05851 | 72 | 56 | 14 | 2 |
2258 | Let’s carve out some positivity for a change. | 1.2500 | 0.07066 | 68 | 56 | 7 | 5 |
2259 | Next week my stepson Peter will be joining us as our new Diversity Director. | 1.2500 | 0.06248 | 76 | 61 | 11 | 4 |
2260 | Why am I always smiling? I guess I was just carved out that way. | 1.2500 | 0.06248 | 76 | 61 | 11 | 4 |
2261 | OK, it's settled, we meet back here in the spring. | 1.2500 | 0.06176 | 72 | 57 | 12 | 3 |
2262 | So you miss working from your porch? | 1.2500 | 0.06415 | 68 | 54 | 11 | 3 |
2263 | Well, that was not supposed to be a secret ballot, but... | 1.2500 | 0.05541 | 96 | 77 | 14 | 5 |
2264 | It looks like we've been carved-out of the corporate structure. | 1.2500 | 0.05837 | 84 | 67 | 13 | 4 |
2265 | So boys, all tricks and no treats. You hear me? | 1.2500 | 0.05038 | 92 | 71 | 19 | 2 |
2266 | Good news,everyone: Our third quarter numbers are up. Which is why I have this smile carved onto my face. | 1.2500 | 0.05483 | 80 | 62 | 16 | 2 |
2267 | It's true we lost Frank and Ralph and Doug, but Starbucks has awarded us a contract for our Pumpkin Spice Coffee. | 1.2500 | 0.05893 | 64 | 49 | 14 | 1 |
2268 | corporate would like to emphasize while dressing up is not required,your participation will be reviewed while discussing your Christmas bonus. | 1.2500 | 0.05322 | 84 | 65 | 17 | 2 |
2269 | The famous Jack O'Lantern begins the tricky business of persuading the board to see things his way. | 1.2500 | 0.06563 | 60 | 47 | 11 | 2 |
2270 | Don’t take it so hard — some of my best friends are pies! | 1.2500 | 0.05690 | 68 | 52 | 15 | 1 |
2271 | The lowest performer will be featured in this year’s pumpkin carving contest. | 1.2500 | 0.05000 | 76 | 57 | 19 | 0 |
2272 | If you don't like this uniform , just wait until November!" | 1.2500 | 0.05483 | 80 | 62 | 16 | 2 |
2273 | I’m afraid Mr. Billy Corgan has finally completed the acquisition of our company. | 1.2500 | 0.06485 | 72 | 58 | 10 | 4 |
2274 | If stocks drop more, heads will rot! | 1.2500 | 0.06523 | 76 | 62 | 9 | 5 |
2275 | Meeting adjourned. Who wants pie? | 1.2500 | 0.06176 | 72 | 57 | 12 | 3 |
2276 | . I wonder what those eggheads are doing in the other conference room. | 1.2500 | 0.06415 | 68 | 54 | 11 | 3 |
2277 | Have you all lost your minds?? | 1.2500 | 0.06682 | 64 | 51 | 10 | 3 |
2278 | See? We can be fun. We’re not ruthless. We have holiday spirit. Who could argue that? | 1.2500 | 0.05270 | 92 | 72 | 17 | 3 |
2279 | Oh my gourd… we’re doing so great this year!! Totally squashing the competition!! 👏👏 | 1.2500 | 0.06063 | 68 | 53 | 13 | 2 |
2280 | What a coincidence - seems we're all named Jack! | 1.2500 | 0.05851 | 72 | 56 | 14 | 2 |
2281 | Hey! All your frowns are on the cutting edge. | 1.2500 | 0.05893 | 64 | 49 | 14 | 1 |
2282 | This year will be a smash. | 1.2500 | 0.05322 | 84 | 65 | 17 | 2 |
2283 | As you all know, the end of October comes with massive downsizing. | 1.2500 | 0.06523 | 76 | 62 | 9 | 5 |
2284 | As a company reminder, it is unethical to bring pumpkin spice lattes into the office. | 1.2500 | 0.07043 | 64 | 52 | 8 | 4 |
2285 | A jack-o-all trades is a master of none | 1.2500 | 0.05322 | 84 | 65 | 17 | 2 |
2286 | Listen here Jack, it's about time we change our demeanor around here. | 1.2500 | 0.05658 | 76 | 59 | 15 | 2 |
2287 | Guys..I’m going to be honest..November is looking like a rough month for us. | 1.2500 | 0.05421 | 88 | 69 | 16 | 3 |
2288 | The sole agenda of this meeting is to find out why we get replaced with reindeers after the 31st? | 1.2500 | 0.05585 | 84 | 66 | 15 | 3 |
2289 | Pumpkin Pitch | 1.2476 | 0.05376 | 105 | 85 | 14 | 6 |
2290 | So hear me out, the fairy godmother said she has a great idea for all of us | 1.2475 | 0.04956 | 101 | 79 | 19 | 3 |
2291 | Dental? Why dental? | 1.2473 | 0.05439 | 93 | 74 | 15 | 4 |
2292 | What say we just forget about the market and let's all get smashed? | 1.2473 | 0.05439 | 93 | 74 | 15 | 4 |
2293 | So are we all agreed no Pumpkin Pie this year? | 1.2473 | 0.05650 | 93 | 75 | 13 | 5 |
2294 | All you gotta do is carve that frown upside down | 1.2473 | 0.05439 | 93 | 74 | 15 | 4 |
2295 | We need to prepare for pumpkin season cut offs and avoid being caught off gourd! | 1.2473 | 0.05439 | 93 | 74 | 15 | 4 |
2296 | Our kind is getting picked, pulled and carved. We must do something. | 1.2472 | 0.05367 | 89 | 70 | 16 | 3 |
2297 | I’m so glad to see all department heads are in attendance! Thanks for carving out the time! | 1.2472 | 0.05367 | 89 | 70 | 16 | 3 |
2298 | As you know, we're going to have to make more cuts this week. | 1.2471 | 0.05268 | 85 | 66 | 17 | 2 |
2299 | I’d rather that you all got lit later tonight than getting smashed & losing your heads. | 1.2471 | 0.06241 | 85 | 70 | 9 | 6 |
2300 | It feels a bit strange at first, but lip botox can change your life. | 1.2471 | 0.05775 | 85 | 68 | 13 | 4 |
2301 | Smashing. | 1.2471 | 0.05527 | 85 | 67 | 15 | 3 |
2302 | All this in favor of naming Zucchini the new official Halloween squash . . . | 1.2471 | 0.05527 | 85 | 67 | 15 | 3 |
2303 | Let’s carve some time to talk about Halloween | 1.2471 | 0.06241 | 85 | 70 | 9 | 6 |
2304 | They want our heads on a platter | 1.2471 | 0.05775 | 85 | 68 | 13 | 4 |
2305 | Jack, Jack,Jack, Jack,Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack and Jack junior... | 1.2469 | 0.05966 | 81 | 65 | 12 | 4 |
2306 | And now, I think, is the time to carve up last quarter's earnings. | 1.2469 | 0.05424 | 81 | 63 | 16 | 2 |
2307 | Alright, Jack, you’re up. | 1.2469 | 0.05966 | 81 | 65 | 12 | 4 |
2308 | You all are just a bunch of pumpkin heads. | 1.2469 | 0.06219 | 81 | 66 | 10 | 5 |
2309 | Pumpkin pie off the menu until after October 31. | 1.2469 | 0.06923 | 81 | 69 | 4 | 8 |
2310 | I'm not smiling, you idiot. They had to draw it that way to demonstrate that I'm the one speaking in the cartoon. | 1.2469 | 0.05966 | 81 | 65 | 12 | 4 |
2311 | At last, we confirmed the band for our party: The Smashing Pumpkins! | 1.2469 | 0.05424 | 81 | 63 | 16 | 2 |
2312 | This holiday season, we’re giving back to the community. | 1.2469 | 0.06219 | 81 | 66 | 10 | 5 |
2313 | We can't put it off anymore; it's time for the bobblehead vote... | 1.2469 | 0.05701 | 81 | 64 | 14 | 3 |
2314 | This year, we are going to squash the competition. | 1.2469 | 0.05701 | 81 | 64 | 14 | 3 |
2315 | My wife passed yesterday. yall want some pumkin pie? | 1.2469 | 0.05966 | 81 | 65 | 12 | 4 |
2316 | Oh and don't forget team, on All Saints' Day we switch to turkey heads! | 1.2469 | 0.05701 | 81 | 64 | 14 | 3 |
2317 | I’m here to announce that the board has rejected the proposed carve-out. | 1.2469 | 0.05966 | 81 | 65 | 12 | 4 |
2318 | Good morning gentlemen; welcome to the daily rind. | 1.2469 | 0.05966 | 81 | 65 | 12 | 4 |
2319 | We got carved up last quarter. | 1.2469 | 0.06219 | 81 | 66 | 10 | 5 |
2320 | Who here knows what a smile is | 1.2469 | 0.05701 | 81 | 64 | 14 | 3 |
2321 | Indeed, their seedy business dealings have been squashed. | 1.2468 | 0.05891 | 77 | 61 | 13 | 3 |
2322 | Welcome! The rumour’s true. Our corporate image will now be all smiles. I had the re-carving done as you can see and it was quick and painless. And, I have your individual rectification appointments right here. | 1.2468 | 0.05891 | 77 | 61 | 13 | 3 |
2323 | The HR department has, similarly, been turned into mice, so I’m frankly not sure where to redirect your complaints to. | 1.2468 | 0.06175 | 77 | 62 | 11 | 4 |
2324 | Quiet, I immediately want one volunteer for this year's Jack O Lantern. | 1.2468 | 0.05594 | 77 | 60 | 15 | 2 |
2325 | One more crack about CFO Ichabod and heads will roll. | 1.2468 | 0.05594 | 77 | 60 | 15 | 2 |
2326 | I think it's the microdosing. | 1.2468 | 0.06175 | 77 | 62 | 11 | 4 |
2327 | . . and they need ten pumpkins for the pie | 1.2468 | 0.04945 | 77 | 58 | 19 | 0 |
2328 | Good news! Pumpkin Spice! Bad news. Pumpkin spice. | 1.2468 | 0.05594 | 77 | 60 | 15 | 2 |
2329 | If we are not profitable by the end of October,heads will roll. | 1.2468 | 0.05594 | 77 | 60 | 15 | 2 |
2330 | We're considering rebranding to Squash-o-lantern to be more inclusive. | 1.2468 | 0.05891 | 77 | 61 | 13 | 3 |
2331 | These CDC recommendations have really gone off the rails. | 1.2468 | 0.05891 | 77 | 61 | 13 | 3 |
2332 | No Jack, I don't think we have a diversity problem at this company. | 1.2468 | 0.06175 | 77 | 62 | 11 | 4 |
2333 | smashing, no? | 1.2468 | 0.06445 | 77 | 63 | 9 | 5 |
2334 | 'Anyone know the home address of that prick Santa Claus?' | 1.2468 | 0.05891 | 77 | 61 | 13 | 3 |
2335 | ABC. A-Always. B-Be. C-Carving. Always Be Carving. | 1.2468 | 0.05891 | 77 | 61 | 13 | 3 |
2336 | Why aren’t you all smiling..?! We’ve succeeded in culturally appropriating The Day of the Dead and monetising it globally for our own needs..! | 1.2468 | 0.06445 | 77 | 63 | 9 | 5 |
2337 | Let me be the first one to squash the rumors. | 1.2468 | 0.05891 | 77 | 61 | 13 | 3 |
2338 | We have to put our heads together and find out how to temper this so called ‘pumpkin spice economy’- it seems inflation can’t even help us with this one. | 1.2468 | 0.05891 | 77 | 61 | 13 | 3 |
2339 | i’m calling this gourd meeting into session. | 1.2466 | 0.05780 | 73 | 57 | 14 | 2 |
2340 | I'm afraid the company is about to be carved up. | 1.2466 | 0.05780 | 73 | 57 | 14 | 2 |
2341 | We need to elect the next chairman of the gourd | 1.2466 | 0.05780 | 73 | 57 | 14 | 2 |
2342 | I think we are ready to go door to door... | 1.2466 | 0.06405 | 73 | 59 | 10 | 4 |
2343 | Great news, we've landed the Ichabod Crane account! | 1.2466 | 0.06101 | 73 | 58 | 12 | 3 |
2344 | I'm all for Halloween festivities, but this is going over-gourd. | 1.2466 | 0.05780 | 73 | 57 | 14 | 2 |
2345 | And so I have decided to step down as Great Pumpkin, effective immediately. | 1.2466 | 0.05780 | 73 | 57 | 14 | 2 |
2346 | I am sorry to report that Joe is not here. He got smashed at the party last night. | 1.2466 | 0.05080 | 73 | 55 | 18 | 0 |
2347 | Can we just stop the Trump impressions and get on with the meeting?” | 1.2466 | 0.06101 | 73 | 58 | 12 | 3 |
2348 | typical committee meeting | 1.2466 | 0.06405 | 73 | 59 | 10 | 4 |
2349 | Let’s plan our next carve out for October 31 2023. | 1.2466 | 0.05780 | 73 | 57 | 14 | 2 |
2350 | I warned you there were going to be some cuts | 1.2464 | 0.05225 | 69 | 52 | 17 | 0 |
2351 | …and for our November 23rd meeting turkey costumes are mandatory. | 1.2464 | 0.05225 | 69 | 52 | 17 | 0 |
2352 | Welcome to the first meeting of the (PA) Pumpkin Anonymous | 1.2464 | 0.05619 | 69 | 53 | 15 | 1 |
2353 | that scent? wow, you noticed? it’s a little bit of chili oil mixed with vinegar, and i swear to god it’s a miracle. it smells great, keeps the squirrels from eating me, and gives any redneck, teenager, or frat pledge who fucks me a delightful tingle. | 1.2464 | 0.06332 | 69 | 55 | 11 | 3 |
2354 | And by switching from candle to LED last quarter, we’ve reduced the cost of the employee life insurance plan by 28%. | 1.2464 | 0.05619 | 69 | 53 | 15 | 1 |
2355 | If anyone disagrees I'll empty your head and stick a lighted candle in it. | 1.2464 | 0.06332 | 69 | 55 | 11 | 3 |
2356 | That’s ten votes for treat, one vote for trick. Trick wins. | 1.2464 | 0.06332 | 69 | 55 | 11 | 3 |
2357 | Gentlemen, let’s put our heads together and carve out a plan for this year’s budget | 1.2464 | 0.06660 | 69 | 56 | 9 | 4 |
2358 | unfortunately, the roll-out has been pushed back to November 1 | 1.2464 | 0.06332 | 69 | 55 | 11 | 3 |
2359 | Waiting for the smashing pumpkins concert like….. | 1.2464 | 0.05986 | 69 | 54 | 13 | 2 |
2360 | I think we can all agree that our style has an expiration date! | 1.2464 | 0.05619 | 69 | 53 | 15 | 1 |
2361 | Actually, the smile is scarier. You all just look sad. | 1.2464 | 0.06660 | 69 | 56 | 9 | 4 |
2362 | I’ve been told we have an issue with diversity of thought here… | 1.2464 | 0.05986 | 69 | 54 | 13 | 2 |
2363 | Sadly, our CMO is now a pie. | 1.2464 | 0.05986 | 69 | 54 | 13 | 2 |
2364 | Now that we're carved, we only have about a week to make the company successful. | 1.2462 | 0.05814 | 65 | 50 | 14 | 1 |
2365 | Either turn those frowns upside down or you're fired. | 1.2462 | 0.06214 | 65 | 51 | 12 | 2 |
2366 | Some of you have expressed concerns about the company dental plan. | 1.2462 | 0.05814 | 65 | 50 | 14 | 1 |
2367 | Where is thumpkin!! | 1.2462 | 0.06589 | 65 | 52 | 10 | 3 |
2368 | Ten heads are better than one, even if they’re pumpkin heads. | 1.2462 | 0.05814 | 65 | 50 | 14 | 1 |
2369 | I can't fucking believe you guys carved frowny faces. Have you seen the numbers this quarter? | 1.2462 | 0.06589 | 65 | 52 | 10 | 3 |
2370 | Which one of you is Jack, again? | 1.2462 | 0.06589 | 65 | 52 | 10 | 3 |
2371 | I'll be frank. This company's going to seed and there's not a dam thing we can do about it. | 1.2462 | 0.05814 | 65 | 50 | 14 | 1 |
2372 | As your new CEO, I think you'll find a few cuts here and there and we'll all be smiling. | 1.2462 | 0.06214 | 65 | 51 | 12 | 2 |
2373 | Roll Call: O’Lantern?” “Here” “O’Lantern?” “Here” “O’Lantern?” | 1.2462 | 0.06589 | 65 | 52 | 10 | 3 |
2374 | ...And no one is leaving until we figure out this November sales drop off. | 1.2459 | 0.06877 | 61 | 49 | 9 | 3 |
2375 | Our shareholders are demanding more diversity on our board. | 1.2459 | 0.06468 | 61 | 48 | 11 | 2 |
2376 | I regret to tell you that your services will no longer be required come November 1st. | 1.2459 | 0.06031 | 61 | 47 | 13 | 1 |
2377 | All in favor of Linus as the Great Pumpkin, say aye. | 1.2459 | 0.05559 | 61 | 46 | 15 | 0 |
2378 | Hi. My name is Elon. | 1.2459 | 0.06877 | 61 | 49 | 9 | 3 |
2379 | Agreed. Let's abolish all horses, and even the ponies. | 1.2459 | 0.07264 | 61 | 50 | 7 | 4 |
2380 | We can talk about your bonus in November. | 1.2459 | 0.06877 | 61 | 49 | 9 | 3 |
2381 | I think these new cuts will really change the atmosphere around here. | 1.2459 | 0.06031 | 61 | 47 | 13 | 1 |
2382 | Is it stuffy in here, or is it just me? | 1.2459 | 0.06468 | 61 | 48 | 11 | 2 |
2383 | Tomorrow we squash the competition! | 1.2456 | 0.06754 | 57 | 45 | 10 | 2 |
2384 | For the last quarter, we’re going dark.” | 1.2453 | 0.04982 | 106 | 84 | 18 | 4 |
2385 | Welcome to the gourd meeting! | 1.2453 | 0.04982 | 106 | 84 | 18 | 4 |
2386 | Thank you all for carving time out for this meeting. | 1.2449 | 0.04824 | 98 | 76 | 20 | 2 |
2387 | I got the head of the table by smiling, folks, but my insides are as rotten as yours | 1.2449 | 0.05439 | 98 | 79 | 14 | 5 |
2388 | Our trick/treat ratio has never been higher! | 1.2449 | 0.05037 | 98 | 77 | 18 | 3 |
2389 | We're facing serious competition from the Swedes this year. | 1.2447 | 0.05387 | 94 | 75 | 15 | 4 |
2390 | Hello pumpkin pie! | 1.2447 | 0.05387 | 94 | 75 | 15 | 4 |
2391 | We had a smashingly good quarter…..sorry, bad word choice. | 1.2447 | 0.05171 | 94 | 74 | 17 | 3 |
2392 | We got carved up pretty good this quarter. The CEO said we don't know Jack. | 1.2447 | 0.05171 | 94 | 74 | 17 | 3 |
2393 | Good news. You are all being transferred to our pie division! | 1.2444 | 0.05314 | 90 | 71 | 16 | 3 |
2394 | I'm glad you were all able to carve out time for this meeting. | 1.2442 | 0.04660 | 86 | 65 | 21 | 0 |
2395 | So how we do all feel about soy candles? | 1.2442 | 0.05470 | 86 | 68 | 15 | 3 |
2396 | We’ll need to land this deal by Halloween or it’s in the garbage. | 1.2442 | 0.05949 | 86 | 70 | 11 | 5 |
2397 | While imitation is the highest form of flattery; here at Apple, I appreciate innovative thinking | 1.2442 | 0.05715 | 86 | 69 | 13 | 4 |
2398 | Who’s going to be Santa at this years Christmas party? | 1.2442 | 0.05715 | 86 | 69 | 13 | 4 |
2399 | Our heads will all be on a platter after Halloween! | 1.2439 | 0.05639 | 82 | 65 | 14 | 3 |
2400 | Enjoy the lattes, I spiced them myself. | 1.2439 | 0.05366 | 82 | 64 | 16 | 2 |
2401 | Gentlemen, in six weeks your heads will be mush. | 1.2439 | 0.06622 | 82 | 69 | 6 | 7 |
2402 | Right! Now let's see some smiles. | 1.2439 | 0.05366 | 82 | 64 | 16 | 2 |
2403 | We need a volunteer to help make the holiday party pie. | 1.2439 | 0.05366 | 82 | 64 | 16 | 2 |
2404 | Here it is everyone. What you've been waiting for. The voting is in and the pies have it. | 1.2439 | 0.05900 | 82 | 66 | 12 | 4 |
2405 | We’ll have to make some additional cuts this year. | 1.2439 | 0.05366 | 82 | 64 | 16 | 2 |
2406 | Great to see so many new faces at this month's gourd meeting. | 1.2439 | 0.05366 | 82 | 64 | 16 | 2 |
2407 | Welcome to our inaugural gender reveal Board of Directors meeting. Now on the count of three… | 1.2436 | 0.04892 | 78 | 59 | 19 | 0 |
2408 | So who is first for the Pumpkin Chucking Contest? | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2409 | Gentleman, the stockholders have caught on that this company is in fact ran by a bunch of potemkins not pumpkins,you can take your disguises off now. | 1.2436 | 0.06370 | 78 | 64 | 9 | 5 |
2410 | I'm thinking of rebranding the whole thing "pumpkin awareness month" | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2411 | I see my little ruse didn’t help with the Board downsizing. | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2412 | I appreciate everyone's spirit, especially you Jack. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2413 | Ok, just so you know, we're all pumkinheads! | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2414 | Sorry, no Snickers at this meeting. | 1.2436 | 0.06370 | 78 | 64 | 9 | 5 |
2415 | I've finally realized: you're all just a bunch of ninny-muggin pumpkin heads | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2416 | I'm sure you're all wondering why I've asked you here today. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2417 | If profits are not up this quarter, I will release the squirrels! | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2418 | I appreciate everyone carving time out of their schedule. It’s midnight. Let’s get started. | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2419 | I suppose you're all wondering why I've gathered you here today. | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2420 | Now, for my smashing idea. . . | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2421 | Today we're going to carve out the company's new mission statement | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2422 | Thank you all for joining the diversity committee… | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2423 | The numbers are looking good, team. In a decade, we'll be more popular than Christmas and those elves can rot in hell. | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2424 | Don't look at me like that | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2425 | And the holiday party is going to be a smash. | 1.2432 | 0.06327 | 74 | 60 | 10 | 4 |
2426 | I, for one, think we're doing great, considering this is a seasonal business and our heads are empty. | 1.2432 | 0.05711 | 74 | 58 | 14 | 2 |
2427 | You must be wondering why I’ve asked you to be here today? | 1.2432 | 0.06327 | 74 | 60 | 10 | 4 |
2428 | Think about it, folks: Children going door to door begging for food... The current economic climate means every day can be Halloween! | 1.2432 | 0.05378 | 74 | 57 | 16 | 1 |
2429 | Well, I can guess by your expressions that most of you were carved AFTER the 3rd quarter numbers were released. | 1.2432 | 0.06327 | 74 | 60 | 10 | 4 |
2430 | Considering past performance, only a third of you will still be here by Halloween. | 1.2432 | 0.05711 | 74 | 58 | 14 | 2 |
2431 | I see we're all patched in. | 1.2432 | 0.05378 | 74 | 57 | 16 | 1 |
2432 | ... so before I went under the knife, I said; "turn that frown upside down!" | 1.2432 | 0.06327 | 74 | 60 | 10 | 4 |
2433 | The new owners despise nepotism, so I have to make some changes around here. | 1.2432 | 0.05711 | 74 | 58 | 14 | 2 |
2434 | The bad news is sales are their lowest in a decade. The good new is, I got a face lift. | 1.2432 | 0.06613 | 74 | 61 | 8 | 5 |
2435 | We are here to squash the competition | 1.2432 | 0.05378 | 74 | 57 | 16 | 1 |
2436 | As your new CEO, replacing Jack O. Lantern ... | 1.2429 | 0.05910 | 70 | 55 | 13 | 2 |
2437 | I hope you find this meeting illuminating. | 1.2429 | 0.05910 | 70 | 55 | 13 | 2 |
2438 | My management style is a little spicy but you'll get used to it. | 1.2429 | 0.05910 | 70 | 55 | 13 | 2 |
2439 | I have the greatest orange face the world has ever seen! | 1.2429 | 0.06251 | 70 | 56 | 11 | 3 |
2440 | Yes, Jack O'Lantern, we all need nicknames or these meetings will continue to drag on. | 1.2429 | 0.06574 | 70 | 57 | 9 | 4 |
2441 | Come on you guys, you can’t all be Jack-O’-Lanterns! | 1.2429 | 0.05910 | 70 | 55 | 13 | 2 |
2442 | The strawberry-rhubarb merger poses a serious threat. | 1.2429 | 0.06251 | 70 | 56 | 11 | 3 |
2443 | I just blow dried the cat. | 1.2429 | 0.06251 | 70 | 56 | 11 | 3 |
2444 | All those in favor say “trick or treat”. | 1.2429 | 0.06574 | 70 | 57 | 9 | 4 |
2445 | From here forward, we look at everything with an open mind. | 1.2429 | 0.06251 | 70 | 56 | 11 | 3 |
2446 | I believe I've carved out a space in which we can all communicate openly | 1.2429 | 0.05910 | 70 | 55 | 13 | 2 |
2447 | -“As you know, the company will lay off all employees starting next month.” | 1.2429 | 0.06251 | 70 | 56 | 11 | 3 |
2448 | Mr. Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater is coming in next week. | 1.2429 | 0.05910 | 70 | 55 | 13 | 2 |
2449 | …and then he had the audacity to call me an airhead! | 1.2429 | 0.06251 | 70 | 56 | 11 | 3 |
2450 | I am pleased to announce our experimental carving surgery has put a smile on my face. | 1.2429 | 0.05910 | 70 | 55 | 13 | 2 |
2451 | We are agreed then? We'll call the new corporate campus The Patch to remind us of our humble beginnings. | 1.2424 | 0.06849 | 66 | 54 | 8 | 4 |
2452 | So, you’ve heard? I’ve sold to Perfect Pie Company! | 1.2424 | 0.06499 | 66 | 53 | 10 | 3 |
2453 | Now for an update from our diversity and inclusion committee. | 1.2424 | 0.06499 | 66 | 53 | 10 | 3 |
2454 | I expect to see some new faces here first thing tomorrow morning! | 1.2424 | 0.06130 | 66 | 52 | 12 | 2 |
2455 | Jack has another empty headed plan to squash the competition. | 1.2424 | 0.06130 | 66 | 52 | 12 | 2 |
2456 | Would anyone like pie? | 1.2424 | 0.04992 | 99 | 78 | 18 | 3 |
2457 | Its that time of year again, so let's just try and keep our heads everyone | 1.2424 | 0.06130 | 66 | 52 | 12 | 2 |
2458 | First on today's agenda is that we need to decide how to carve up the pie. | 1.2421 | 0.05122 | 95 | 75 | 17 | 3 |
2459 | It's that time of year again. Stay safe. Stay inside. | 1.2421 | 0.04899 | 95 | 74 | 19 | 2 |
2460 | She jackin o’ my lantern til I holler “ween.” | 1.2419 | 0.06777 | 62 | 50 | 9 | 3 |
2461 | Those turnips across the pond won't see what hit them. | 1.2419 | 0.07157 | 62 | 51 | 7 | 4 |
2462 | Don’t be a Jack-be-little !!! | 1.2419 | 0.05946 | 62 | 48 | 13 | 1 |
2463 | Carve out the dead weight? Smashing idea! | 1.2419 | 0.07157 | 62 | 51 | 7 | 4 |
2464 | The Executive Gourd meeting will now come to order. | 1.2419 | 0.05946 | 62 | 48 | 13 | 1 |
2465 | Bright ideas, anyone? | 1.2419 | 0.06375 | 62 | 49 | 11 | 2 |
2466 | These are unprecedented times and the firm will need to make some sacrifices, beginning with the low-hanging fruit. | 1.2419 | 0.06777 | 62 | 50 | 9 | 3 |
2467 | I think its just smashing that everyone could carve out some time to attend this year’s Gourd of Directors meeting! 🎃 🎃 🎃 | 1.2419 | 0.06777 | 62 | 50 | 9 | 3 |
2468 | Would anyone like a human spice latte? | 1.2419 | 0.06375 | 62 | 49 | 11 | 2 |
2469 | A motion to squash is on the table. | 1.2418 | 0.05490 | 91 | 73 | 14 | 4 |
2470 | Good meeting. Shall we carve out some time for next week? | 1.2418 | 0.05708 | 91 | 74 | 12 | 5 |
2471 | Now don”t laugh until you’ve heard the rest. | 1.2418 | 0.05263 | 91 | 72 | 16 | 3 |
2472 | Sometimes it seems like our emotions are written all over our face. | 1.2418 | 0.05708 | 91 | 74 | 12 | 5 |
2473 | Any ideas about how to boost our “Old Spice” sales? | 1.2418 | 0.04776 | 91 | 70 | 20 | 1 |
2474 | It’s time to squash the competition. | 1.2414 | 0.07505 | 58 | 48 | 6 | 4 |
2475 | This meeting of the Gourd of Trustees is now in session | 1.2414 | 0.07505 | 58 | 48 | 6 | 4 |
2476 | It wasn't pretty when Bob got smashed at last year's company Halloween party, so too keep it from happening to someone else, here's no open bar this year. | 1.2414 | 0.04895 | 87 | 67 | 19 | 1 |
2477 | So I'm putting all of you out on the street. | 1.2414 | 0.05656 | 87 | 70 | 13 | 4 |
2478 | C’mon now, turn that frown upside down | 1.2414 | 0.05414 | 87 | 69 | 15 | 3 |
2479 | You could say heads will roll November 1 | 1.2414 | 0.05414 | 87 | 69 | 15 | 3 |
2480 | So next week, I expect to only see happy faces carved around this table, understand? | 1.2414 | 0.06179 | 58 | 45 | 12 | 1 |
2481 | Human Spice Latte sales have gone up | 1.2411 | 0.05267 | 112 | 92 | 13 | 7 |
2482 | Divest spice? You’re joking, right? | 1.2410 | 0.05836 | 83 | 67 | 12 | 4 |
2483 | Does anyone have a fresh theme idea for next month's meeting? We've done turkeys so many years in a row now. | 1.2410 | 0.05836 | 83 | 67 | 12 | 4 |
2484 | The problem is that we have too many pumpkins and not enough Jacks. | 1.2410 | 0.05836 | 83 | 67 | 12 | 4 |
2485 | Can we sustain this until the marketing numbers come in after Thanksgiving? | 1.2410 | 0.05579 | 83 | 66 | 14 | 3 |
2486 | Halloween is canceled. | 1.2410 | 0.05579 | 83 | 66 | 14 | 3 |
2487 | " Let's turn off the lights and have a good laugh!" | 1.2410 | 0.05309 | 83 | 65 | 16 | 2 |
2488 | That “no meetings after midnight” rule just made a lot of sense. | 1.2410 | 0.05579 | 83 | 66 | 14 | 3 |
2489 | Gentlemen, the board has decided not to provide seed funding for your Initial Pulp Offering. | 1.2410 | 0.05836 | 83 | 67 | 12 | 4 |
2490 | The short-term outline is scary - but that can be a good thing. | 1.2410 | 0.05579 | 83 | 66 | 14 | 3 |
2491 | Any one of you not named Jack can get up and leave right now. | 1.2410 | 0.05024 | 83 | 64 | 18 | 1 |
2492 | Thank goodness you're not all yes-men. | 1.2410 | 0.05024 | 83 | 64 | 18 | 1 |
2493 | Remember, we pioneered this whole "work from home" thing -- and we got lit. | 1.2410 | 0.05836 | 83 | 67 | 12 | 4 |
2494 | C’mon guys, let’s turn those frowns upside down - it’s pumpkin spice season after all! | 1.2410 | 0.05579 | 83 | 66 | 14 | 3 |
2495 | You need to carve out some time in your schedules for the annual pie contest and participation will be mandatory | 1.2410 | 0.05579 | 83 | 66 | 14 | 3 |
2496 | …and that’s why I need those frowns turned upside down! Bring in the knives! | 1.2410 | 0.05309 | 83 | 65 | 16 | 2 |
2497 | We are on a strict timeline here. | 1.2405 | 0.05164 | 79 | 61 | 17 | 1 |
2498 | Who ordered the pumpkin spice tea? | 1.2405 | 0.06297 | 79 | 65 | 9 | 5 |
2499 | This is what happens when you drink pumpkin spice lattes every day. | 1.2405 | 0.04839 | 79 | 60 | 19 | 0 |
2500 | I'm happy to announce that starting next year, the company will be offering a long overdue dental plan. | 1.2405 | 0.05469 | 79 | 62 | 15 | 2 |
2501 | On Halloween we masquerade as people! | 1.2405 | 0.05164 | 79 | 61 | 17 | 1 |
2502 | I’m happy to announce last years ideas of holding this meeting in a patch has been squashed. Just like Ted. | 1.2405 | 0.06297 | 79 | 65 | 9 | 5 |
2503 | This is how we're going to squash our competition this Fall... | 1.2405 | 0.05469 | 79 | 62 | 15 | 2 |
2504 | ‘ I didn’t know your idea to plant seeds for future growth would have such an effect on the board’ | 1.2405 | 0.05758 | 79 | 63 | 13 | 3 |
2505 | Alas, it's too late to have a brainstorming session! | 1.2405 | 0.05164 | 79 | 61 | 17 | 1 |
2506 | Why the long faces? It’s a board meeting, not a bored meeting. | 1.2400 | 0.05644 | 75 | 59 | 14 | 2 |
2507 | I will be stepping down as chairman of the gourds. | 1.2400 | 0.06250 | 75 | 61 | 10 | 4 |
2508 | Well boys, it’s October and our future’s never looked brighter. | 1.2400 | 0.05644 | 75 | 59 | 14 | 2 |
2509 | Will one of you at least smile at my jokes? | 1.2400 | 0.05315 | 75 | 58 | 16 | 1 |
2510 | I told you to pick the smiling emoji! | 1.2400 | 0.05315 | 75 | 58 | 16 | 1 |
2511 | We’re going to need to make more cuts. | 1.2400 | 0.04965 | 75 | 57 | 18 | 0 |
2512 | Good news. Butternut squash makes better pumpkin pies. | 1.2400 | 0.05644 | 75 | 59 | 14 | 2 |
2513 | We need a couple of volunteers to help with product development in the pie department | 1.2400 | 0.05315 | 75 | 58 | 16 | 1 |
2514 | Well, here’s something that may bring a smile to your face . . . . | 1.2400 | 0.05644 | 75 | 59 | 14 | 2 |
2515 | So we all agree the corporate sports facilities should include a squash ground? | 1.2400 | 0.05644 | 75 | 59 | 14 | 2 |
2516 | We're going to have to make some difficult cuts this quarter--starting with your frown, Jenkins. | 1.2400 | 0.05315 | 75 | 58 | 16 | 1 |
2517 | Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater has bought our company. Now let's adjourn to the break room where he has a special lunch for us. | 1.2400 | 0.05315 | 75 | 58 | 16 | 1 |
2518 | Our numbers this quarter are terrifying. | 1.2400 | 0.05644 | 75 | 59 | 14 | 2 |
2519 | Yes the rumors are true, our company has just been bought out by Starbucks. | 1.2400 | 0.06532 | 75 | 62 | 8 | 5 |
2520 | Yes jack? | 1.2400 | 0.05644 | 75 | 59 | 14 | 2 |
2521 | ...orange you glad I didn't say banana again? | 1.2400 | 0.05527 | 100 | 82 | 12 | 6 |
2522 | Our numbers are down this quarter. I’m afraid we’re in for a rough patch. | 1.2400 | 0.05955 | 75 | 60 | 12 | 3 |
2523 | Time to turn that frown upside down. | 1.2400 | 0.05955 | 75 | 60 | 12 | 3 |
2524 | Let’s try to get through this meeting before anyone starts rotting from the inside out. | 1.2400 | 0.05315 | 75 | 58 | 16 | 1 |
2525 | The new company jingle will be a cover of this Smashing Pumpkins hit song | 1.2400 | 0.06250 | 75 | 61 | 10 | 4 |
2526 | I'm told our interim CEO will be Ichabod Crane and that heads will roll | 1.2400 | 0.05644 | 75 | 59 | 14 | 2 |
2527 | We need to really light a fire in our employees this quarter. | 1.2396 | 0.05287 | 96 | 77 | 15 | 4 |
2528 | My goal was never to frighten you. | 1.2394 | 0.05481 | 71 | 55 | 15 | 1 |
2529 | Hey. I thought we were yams too. | 1.2394 | 0.05836 | 71 | 56 | 13 | 2 |
2530 | If I don't see a more positive attitude around here, you're all going to be out on the curb. | 1.2394 | 0.06489 | 71 | 58 | 9 | 4 |
2531 | We’ve decided to diversify. Several gourds, sweet potatoes and squashes will be joining the executive team. | 1.2394 | 0.06792 | 71 | 59 | 7 | 5 |
2532 | We decided to discontinue the latte | 1.2394 | 0.05481 | 71 | 55 | 15 | 1 |
2533 | You'd be smiling too if you were cut up for it! | 1.2394 | 0.06172 | 71 | 57 | 11 | 3 |
2534 | I’d give my mother for Fred’s pumpkin pie, and I did. | 1.2394 | 0.06489 | 71 | 58 | 9 | 4 |
2535 | Before we get started….. I know you have all been concerned about the recent cuts… | 1.2394 | 0.05481 | 71 | 55 | 15 | 1 |
2536 | Should we not meet our numbers, heads are going to pie. | 1.2394 | 0.06792 | 71 | 59 | 7 | 5 |
2537 | I’m frightened at the lack of diversity at this company | 1.2394 | 0.05836 | 71 | 56 | 13 | 2 |
2538 | In an effort to reduce our carbon footprint, we’re going flameless | 1.2394 | 0.06172 | 71 | 57 | 11 | 3 |
2539 | We will do well | 1.2394 | 0.06172 | 71 | 57 | 11 | 3 |
2540 | Phil, wipe that look off your face before I smash it | 1.2394 | 0.06489 | 71 | 58 | 9 | 4 |
2541 | This year the employee benefit scheme will include complimentary anti-ageing fertiliser cream. Remember the company motto: if you’re rotten on the inside, spray the fertiliser for a smile! | 1.2394 | 0.05836 | 71 | 56 | 13 | 2 |
2542 | I think we can all agree that our diversity, equity and inclusion programs have been a success. | 1.2394 | 0.05481 | 71 | 55 | 15 | 1 |
2543 | Whoa, I said you will all GET a piece of the pie, not BE a piece of the pie. | 1.2394 | 0.05836 | 71 | 56 | 13 | 2 |
2544 | 'Revenues are down so let's carve out a happy face for investors this year. | 1.2391 | 0.05212 | 92 | 73 | 16 | 3 |
2545 | ...and after the Halloween party we'll all head over to the pie factory. | 1.2391 | 0.05859 | 92 | 76 | 10 | 6 |
2546 | As Pumpkin head, I officially declare that starting October 31st 2022, the term Jack o’Lantern is renamed Jack & Jill O’Lantern | 1.2391 | 0.05436 | 92 | 74 | 14 | 4 |
2547 | How about adding Election Eve? | 1.2388 | 0.06049 | 67 | 53 | 12 | 2 |
2548 | Jack,any strategy to eliminate redundancies at the company? | 1.2388 | 0.06049 | 67 | 53 | 12 | 2 |
2549 | Next time, let's play squash. | 1.2388 | 0.05663 | 67 | 52 | 14 | 1 |
2550 | I'm convinced most of you have squirrels for brains. | 1.2388 | 0.06049 | 67 | 53 | 12 | 2 |
2551 | Now we all look equal. | 1.2388 | 0.06049 | 67 | 53 | 12 | 2 |
2552 | 'guys.. we need to talk about Kanye' | 1.2388 | 0.06049 | 67 | 53 | 12 | 2 |
2553 | You've all been invited to a lookalike contest of a former President. | 1.2388 | 0.06755 | 67 | 55 | 8 | 4 |
2554 | If our employees get their wish, Smashing Pumpkins will headline the company party. | 1.2388 | 0.06049 | 67 | 53 | 12 | 2 |
2555 | Don’t worry! I’m gonna turn everything upside down. | 1.2388 | 0.06049 | 67 | 53 | 12 | 2 |
2556 | You idiots have to come up with something better or heads will smash! | 1.2388 | 0.05663 | 67 | 52 | 14 | 1 |
2557 | We’re making some cuts around here and I don’t mean a new nostril. | 1.2388 | 0.06412 | 67 | 54 | 10 | 3 |
2558 | To assuage fears of layoffs, for next week's corporate party I've booked The Smashing Pumpkins. | 1.2386 | 0.05359 | 88 | 70 | 15 | 3 |
2559 | Welcome to the gourd-meeting. We meet before the holiday when some of you might feel empty headed. | 1.2386 | 0.05359 | 88 | 70 | 15 | 3 |
2560 | Any suggestions for where our “Creative Thinking 2023” workshop should be held? | 1.2386 | 0.05598 | 88 | 71 | 13 | 4 |
2561 | Guess what kind of pie chart we'll be sharing today?" | 1.2386 | 0.05359 | 88 | 70 | 15 | 3 |
2562 | And for Thanksgiving we can all wear helmets that look like turkeys | 1.2386 | 0.05826 | 88 | 72 | 11 | 5 |
2563 | Why am I the only smiley face? | 1.2381 | 0.05253 | 84 | 66 | 16 | 2 |
2564 | The profits of Big Pumpkin are forecast to increase 10,000% this week. | 1.2381 | 0.06680 | 63 | 51 | 9 | 3 |
2565 | Our October diversity survey results are in, and it doesn't look good. | 1.2381 | 0.05253 | 84 | 66 | 16 | 2 |
2566 | Heck, by the middle of November most of you would be rotting on the curb anyway. | 1.2381 | 0.05253 | 84 | 66 | 16 | 2 |
2567 | I brought you here today to talk about a hostile takeover of Thanksgiving. | 1.2381 | 0.05409 | 63 | 48 | 15 | 0 |
2568 | The Gourd Room | 1.2381 | 0.06285 | 63 | 50 | 11 | 2 |
2569 | Are we all feeling a bit light-headed? | 1.2381 | 0.05519 | 84 | 67 | 14 | 3 |
2570 | Tricks for thee, treats for me. | 1.2381 | 0.05519 | 84 | 67 | 14 | 3 |
2571 | On the bright side, we are a cut above the rest | 1.2381 | 0.05863 | 63 | 49 | 13 | 1 |
2572 | Heads will roll. | 1.2381 | 0.06285 | 63 | 50 | 11 | 2 |
2573 | We need to get carvative, spookiness is down globally this year. | 1.2381 | 0.06680 | 63 | 51 | 9 | 3 |
2574 | Gentlemen,today we vote on who gets to keep the name Jack. | 1.2381 | 0.05773 | 84 | 68 | 12 | 4 |
2575 | I'm being forced out. Jill O'Lantern starts on Monday. | 1.2381 | 0.06017 | 84 | 69 | 10 | 5 |
2576 | Great news! We have booked The Smashing Pumpkins to headline our annual meeting. | 1.2381 | 0.06285 | 63 | 50 | 11 | 2 |
2577 | Don't worry about the financials. After Halloween, none of us will be here. | 1.2381 | 0.06285 | 63 | 50 | 11 | 2 |
2578 | Anyone who says ‘Trick or Treat’ is fired | 1.2381 | 0.05409 | 63 | 48 | 15 | 0 |
2579 | Ok, so the “Frank O’lantern” rebranding effort doesn’t seem to be going very well”. | 1.2381 | 0.05863 | 63 | 49 | 13 | 1 |
2580 | And as my father used to say, 'A frown is just a smile turned upside down.'" | 1.2381 | 0.05863 | 63 | 49 | 13 | 1 |
2581 | The one month outlook on this plan is rotten. | 1.2381 | 0.07053 | 63 | 52 | 7 | 4 |
2582 | Is it quiet quitting, or burnout? | 1.2381 | 0.06285 | 63 | 50 | 11 | 2 |
2583 | A meeting of vegetative minds. | 1.2381 | 0.04789 | 105 | 83 | 19 | 3 |
2584 | Gentlemen, I am pleased to say that once again our October sales are through the roof! | 1.2381 | 0.05773 | 84 | 68 | 12 | 4 |
2585 | The motion calling for pumpkin spice lattes to be outlawed is hereby ratified. | 1.2376 | 0.05103 | 101 | 81 | 16 | 4 |
2586 | I say we should change "Peter, Peter pumpkin eater had wife and couldn't keep her." to "Peter Peter pumpkin leader had a wife who was a keeper." | 1.2376 | 0.05477 | 101 | 83 | 12 | 6 |
2587 | Guess who won the annual pumpkin carving contest again. | 1.2375 | 0.05409 | 80 | 63 | 15 | 2 |
2588 | I'm in the mood for a pumpkin spice latte. Any takers? | 1.2375 | 0.05694 | 80 | 64 | 13 | 3 |
2589 | Need some ideas people—if a light goes on in your head, speak up. | 1.2375 | 0.05409 | 80 | 63 | 15 | 2 |
2590 | Welcome to the first meeting of the Ichabods. Our first agenda item is: pumpkin spice season, where do we stand? | 1.2375 | 0.05694 | 80 | 64 | 13 | 3 |
2591 | Am I the only one here who notices Jerry, third from my right, has no peduncle? It's why I'm the boss and you're a bunch of airheads. | 1.2375 | 0.05409 | 80 | 63 | 15 | 2 |
2592 | We've been acquired by a Pie company! | 1.2375 | 0.05409 | 80 | 63 | 15 | 2 |
2593 | For the Board's annual photo, I want to see huge smiles. Like this." | 1.2375 | 0.06225 | 80 | 66 | 9 | 5 |
2594 | Who ordered the pumpkin pie? | 1.2375 | 0.05965 | 80 | 65 | 11 | 4 |
2595 | I thought we could work on our diversity problem together. | 1.2375 | 0.05694 | 80 | 64 | 13 | 3 |
2596 | Team, please all put your heads together and get the pie production back on track. | 1.2375 | 0.06225 | 80 | 66 | 9 | 5 |
2597 | I've decided on the bonuses. I get the treats. You get the tricks. | 1.2375 | 0.05694 | 80 | 64 | 13 | 3 |
2598 | Team - I'm sorry to say, come November 1 our presence in this organization is no longer needed. | 1.2375 | 0.05694 | 80 | 64 | 13 | 3 |
2599 | Here is my plan to "rebrand" candy corn. | 1.2375 | 0.05694 | 80 | 64 | 13 | 3 |
2600 | I think it’s an improvement | 1.2373 | 0.06549 | 59 | 47 | 10 | 2 |
2601 | All of you get a carving knife,and turn those frowns upside down! | 1.2373 | 0.06549 | 59 | 47 | 10 | 2 |
2602 | This is too much seed money | 1.2373 | 0.06549 | 59 | 47 | 10 | 2 |
2603 | Who turned out the light? | 1.2373 | 0.06549 | 59 | 47 | 10 | 2 |
2604 | Let’s carve those frowns upside down. We’ve got work to do. | 1.2371 | 0.05029 | 97 | 77 | 17 | 3 |
2605 | Stop looking at me like I'm out of my gourd. | 1.2368 | 0.06453 | 76 | 63 | 8 | 5 |
2606 | who's stupid idea was it to put lite candles in our heads | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2607 | How many pumpins does it take to come up with a resolution that will not be overturned by the ceo pumpkin. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2608 | I need volunteers for the pumpkin pie eating contest. | 1.2368 | 0.05254 | 76 | 59 | 16 | 1 |
2609 | I'm as upset as you all are. Just can't show it. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2610 | We need to figure out how to turn that frown upside down. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2611 | Okay, everyone, we have to think outside the jack-o'-lantern this year | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2612 | Guys, who do you see in the mirror every morning when you wake up? | 1.2368 | 0.05031 | 114 | 93 | 15 | 6 |
2613 | But can we do it without our investors getting spooked? | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2614 | Who carved your frown upside down | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2615 | I hate always delivering bad news, but we lost Jack to the squirrels last night, and it’s November 1st, so you’re all fired. | 1.2364 | 0.06337 | 55 | 43 | 11 | 1 |
2616 | I’m resigning, I’m a shell of my former self | 1.2361 | 0.05414 | 72 | 56 | 15 | 1 |
2617 | Let’s face it - it’s time for greater variety of gourds on this Board. | 1.2361 | 0.06407 | 72 | 59 | 9 | 4 |
2618 | Anyone get a chance to read the article I sent you titled, 'Standing Out From the Herd?' | 1.2361 | 0.05764 | 72 | 57 | 13 | 2 |
2619 | Now how do we carve up this market? | 1.2361 | 0.06094 | 72 | 58 | 11 | 3 |
2620 | I'm pleased to announce that we've accepted the Spice Girls' offer. | 1.2361 | 0.05764 | 72 | 57 | 13 | 2 |
2621 | I’m sure a little cosmetic surgery will put a smile on your faces. | 1.2361 | 0.06094 | 72 | 58 | 11 | 3 |
2622 | HR and I have decided we need more spice on the board. | 1.2361 | 0.06094 | 72 | 58 | 11 | 3 |
2623 | According to corporate, overhead cuts will start November 1. | 1.2361 | 0.05764 | 72 | 57 | 13 | 2 |
2624 | Portrait photo of the annual November 1st meeting of the Trump Organization. | 1.2361 | 0.06706 | 72 | 60 | 7 | 5 |
2625 | We all need to get dental appointments. | 1.2361 | 0.06094 | 72 | 58 | 11 | 3 |
2626 | Are you telling me that if we cut the tops of our heads and pull out the seeds and roast them that we can sell them? I think we’re onto something here. | 1.2361 | 0.06094 | 72 | 58 | 11 | 3 |
2627 | We exceeded all revenue forecasts! Smashing! | 1.2361 | 0.06094 | 72 | 58 | 11 | 3 |
2628 | It’s just business. The Squirrels are willing to eat the 3 quarter losses | 1.2361 | 0.05764 | 72 | 57 | 13 | 2 |
2629 | Looks like I'm not the only thick-headed decision maker at this table. | 1.2361 | 0.05764 | 72 | 57 | 13 | 2 |
2630 | The year Halloween fell on a Monday | 1.2361 | 0.05764 | 72 | 57 | 13 | 2 |
2631 | This year’s initiative is sure to be a smash | 1.2361 | 0.06407 | 72 | 59 | 9 | 4 |
2632 | Let’s start our meeting today by turning our frowns upside down! | 1.2360 | 0.05541 | 89 | 72 | 13 | 4 |
2633 | So we will end the meeting now. Before the turkey meeting start. | 1.2360 | 0.05305 | 89 | 71 | 15 | 3 |
2634 | OK, let's put this damn Jane-O'Lantern proposal to a vote. | 1.2358 | 0.04771 | 123 | 100 | 17 | 6 |
2635 | Guess who is Donald | 1.2353 | 0.05970 | 68 | 54 | 12 | 2 |
2636 | I want all of you to put on a happy face. | 1.2353 | 0.05970 | 68 | 54 | 12 | 2 |
2637 | I'm happy to announce that we've successfully fought off the hostile takeover bid from Peter Peter, Inc. | 1.2353 | 0.06664 | 68 | 56 | 8 | 4 |
2638 | Now the culture warriors have accused our Board of lacking diversity. | 1.2353 | 0.05712 | 85 | 69 | 12 | 4 |
2639 | We have a traitor in our midst. One of you is not from the pumpkin patch. | 1.2353 | 0.06327 | 68 | 55 | 10 | 3 |
2640 | Now kids, when the orphanage comes looking for 10 missing little boys, you tell them that you dont know what they’re talking about and that you’re playing a fun game with daddy. Got it? | 1.2353 | 0.05970 | 68 | 54 | 12 | 2 |
2641 | I think we can all agree this is a gourd deal | 1.2353 | 0.05590 | 68 | 53 | 14 | 1 |
2642 | Let’s take a vote: pumpkin pie or apple pie. | 1.2353 | 0.05461 | 85 | 68 | 14 | 3 |
2643 | Pumpkin values have steadily rising in October and I see no end in sight! | 1.2353 | 0.06327 | 68 | 55 | 10 | 3 |
2644 | Our Diversity and Inclusion initiative has been a complete failure, but I love what I'm seeing in this room! | 1.2353 | 0.05970 | 68 | 54 | 12 | 2 |
2645 | As part of out cutbacks, we will be eliminating our Halloween party this year. | 1.2353 | 0.05590 | 68 | 53 | 14 | 1 |
2646 | Never forget, all of us began our uncarved life in a humble Halloween pumpkin patch. | 1.2353 | 0.05970 | 68 | 54 | 12 | 2 |
2647 | Sorry, your permanent frowns are an unacceptable corporate liability. | 1.2353 | 0.05461 | 85 | 68 | 14 | 3 |
2648 | After halloween you'll be replaced with Santas. | 1.2353 | 0.05461 | 85 | 68 | 14 | 3 |
2649 | Who wants to work on the canned campaign? | 1.2353 | 0.05970 | 68 | 54 | 12 | 2 |
2650 | We're going to be promoting mince pie this Thanksgiving | 1.2353 | 0.05970 | 68 | 54 | 12 | 2 |
2651 | Why all the sad faces, just because Jack lost his stem? | 1.2353 | 0.05590 | 68 | 53 | 14 | 1 |
2652 | Think long term. First we go after the Turkey and then we invade the North Pole. | 1.2353 | 0.05198 | 85 | 67 | 16 | 2 |
2653 | I'm happy to report that Holloween has been made a national holiday. | 1.2353 | 0.05712 | 85 | 69 | 12 | 4 |
2654 | I know most of you were hoping to work-from-doorstep this weekend but we’re going to need all gourds on deck | 1.2353 | 0.05590 | 68 | 53 | 14 | 1 |
2655 | Now I know inflation’s been tough but we’ve got to turn those frowns upside down. Look at me, I’m smilin’! Kevin…Cynthia…who’s with me? | 1.2353 | 0.05970 | 68 | 54 | 12 | 2 |
2656 | Consumer have finally started to put the candle-cut in the bottom instead of the top - does anybody want the update installed on Thursday” | 1.2353 | 0.05590 | 68 | 53 | 14 | 1 |
2657 | I'd like to announce the merger of our company with our long time rival, the Headless Horseman. | 1.2353 | 0.05182 | 68 | 52 | 16 | 0 |
2658 | Our job today...To remind everyone, pumpkin spice isn't just a flavor, but a way of life!!! | 1.2353 | 0.06327 | 68 | 55 | 10 | 3 |
2659 | Alright, what is our plan to mitigate the squirrel problem this quarter? | 1.2353 | 0.06327 | 68 | 55 | 10 | 3 |
2660 | I'm proud to announce that we are going into the spice business. | 1.2348 | 0.04283 | 132 | 105 | 23 | 4 |
2661 | The Gourd of Directors is awarding all of the bonus money to me. | 1.2347 | 0.05389 | 98 | 80 | 13 | 5 |
2662 | I'm giving all of you off for Halloween. | 1.2346 | 0.05630 | 81 | 65 | 13 | 3 |
2663 | The economy is fine. It’s the firecrackers that worry me. | 1.2346 | 0.05349 | 81 | 64 | 15 | 2 |
2664 | This is happy news. So why do you guys look like you're ready to carve me up. | 1.2346 | 0.05349 | 81 | 64 | 15 | 2 |
2665 | This quarter has been a smashing success. | 1.2346 | 0.05349 | 81 | 64 | 15 | 2 |
2666 | So we're agreed. This year we're going to cream the mashed potatoes, burn the cornbread, and squeeze the cranberry sauce for all it's worth. | 1.2346 | 0.05349 | 81 | 64 | 15 | 2 |
2667 | Our stock just went up, it’s that season again! | 1.2346 | 0.05349 | 81 | 64 | 15 | 2 |
2668 | One way or another we're going to get canned. | 1.2346 | 0.05349 | 81 | 64 | 15 | 2 |
2669 | And I don’t want to see any pie charts!” | 1.2346 | 0.05630 | 81 | 65 | 13 | 3 |
2670 | Now that we've carved out our positions, we can proceed with the reorg. | 1.2346 | 0.05349 | 81 | 64 | 15 | 2 |
2671 | This year’s officeHalloween party will be great! Costumes, candy and a live band called….. Oh no. | 1.2346 | 0.06400 | 81 | 68 | 7 | 6 |
2672 | ..and that’s how we’re going to carve out a bright future for the company, by putting on a cheerful face to the world! | 1.2346 | 0.05349 | 81 | 64 | 15 | 2 |
2673 | Much better. | 1.2346 | 0.05053 | 81 | 63 | 17 | 1 |
2674 | so how are we planning on dealing with the Christmas corps hostel takeover? I saw Christmas trees up in September! | 1.2346 | 0.05630 | 81 | 65 | 13 | 3 |
2675 | Just when we think we are getting done wearing masks, BAM | 1.2344 | 0.06585 | 64 | 52 | 9 | 3 |
2676 | Cheer up! The Christmas committee is getting JINGLE BALLS! | 1.2344 | 0.06585 | 64 | 52 | 9 | 3 |
2677 | Okay team, we will not see each other after this month | 1.2344 | 0.06197 | 64 | 51 | 11 | 2 |
2678 | This is our season. Enough with the frowns already! | 1.2344 |