These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.
Name | Value |
---|---|
Submission deadline | 2022-10-16T19:28:00.000Z |
Voting started | - |
Voting ended | 2022-10-30T19:29:00.000Z |
Finalists announced | 2022-10-24T19:29:00.000Z |
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued | October 31, 2022 |
Number of captions | 4244 |
Number of responses | 397422 |
Number of participants | - |
In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.
Rank | Caption | Mean | Precision | Total votes | "Unfunny" votes | "Somewhat funny" votes | "Funny" votes |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
0 | Be grateful you're not in business class. They have a mime. | 1.7857 | 0.02681 | 854 | 373 | 291 | 190 |
1 | And for my next trick I will turn a twenty dollar bill into a bag of seven almonds. | 1.7260 | 0.01852 | 1927 | 973 | 509 | 445 |
2 | I'm going to need to turn somebody into a pilot. | 1.7255 | 0.01611 | 2477 | 1229 | 699 | 549 |
3 | I call this next trick '"Overbooked Flight", and I will need three volunteers from the audience. | 1.7208 | 0.02038 | 1551 | 776 | 432 | 343 |
4 | Watch me pull out some hidden fees from thin air. | 1.7096 | 0.02269 | 1181 | 580 | 364 | 237 |
5 | You heard me right ladies and gentlemen; we're arriving early and your luggage is on this plane! | 1.6796 | 0.01974 | 1498 | 754 | 470 | 274 |
6 | And now I'll need a volunteer for my vanishing act. This flight is overbooked. | 1.6617 | 0.02475 | 931 | 476 | 294 | 161 |
7 | I’m here to fit the carry on bags into the overhead bins. | 1.6586 | 0.02527 | 864 | 436 | 287 | 141 |
8 | A few more hours in that seat and you'll be begging me to saw you in half. | 1.6583 | 0.02484 | 919 | 471 | 291 | 157 |
9 | Pick an airport, any airport. | 1.6458 | 0.02170 | 1183 | 613 | 376 | 194 |
10 | I’ll grant any wish that does not involve seat size or legroom. | 1.6418 | 0.02432 | 910 | 466 | 304 | 140 |
11 | Can I get a volunteer...maybe someone who's landed a plane? | 1.6301 | 0.02386 | 1076 | 602 | 270 | 204 |
12 | And Poof! Your connecting flight is gone! | 1.6247 | 0.02606 | 818 | 438 | 249 | 131 |
13 | We've overbooked, so I am going to make six of you disappear. | 1.6231 | 0.02288 | 1064 | 572 | 321 | 171 |
14 | For my next trick I'll have you arrive on time with your luggage. | 1.6143 | 0.02708 | 726 | 387 | 232 | 107 |
15 | Nothing up my sleeve, it was confiscated at security. | 1.6133 | 0.02470 | 900 | 488 | 272 | 140 |
16 | I love this gig. Nobody can walk out! | 1.6025 | 0.02900 | 644 | 353 | 194 | 97 |
17 | Chicken or rabbit? | 1.6004 | 0.02319 | 1001 | 549 | 303 | 149 |
18 | Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has now turned on the ‘applause’ sign. | 1.5932 | 0.02402 | 944 | 527 | 274 | 143 |
19 | And when I snap my fingers, a lucky one among you will actually make his connecting flight! | 1.5906 | 0.02459 | 828 | 446 | 275 | 107 |
20 | A second bag of peanuts? You realize I'm not an actual magician, right? | 1.5849 | 0.02450 | 901 | 508 | 259 | 134 |
21 | … and when you wake up you will have remembered a perfect flight, a great flight crew, with excellent food and a great landing. | 1.5845 | 0.02467 | 893 | 505 | 254 | 134 |
22 | Everyone click your heels and say, "There's no place like Newark." | 1.5842 | 0.02554 | 861 | 495 | 229 | 137 |
23 | My career doesn’t seem to be taking off, either. | 1.5809 | 0.02584 | 871 | 512 | 212 | 147 |
24 | Now sit back, relax and enjoy the delay | 1.5774 | 0.02895 | 627 | 353 | 186 | 88 |
25 | Remember the fun, excitement, and glamour of plane travel? Watch it disappear! | 1.5767 | 0.02492 | 834 | 467 | 253 | 114 |
26 | Watch carefully, as some of our safety options may have changed. | 1.5767 | 0.02667 | 737 | 415 | 219 | 103 |
27 | For my next trick, we'll be landing on time. | 1.5758 | 0.02696 | 818 | 490 | 185 | 143 |
28 | I'm in charge of recovering lost luggage. | 1.5709 | 0.02895 | 776 | 490 | 129 | 157 |
29 | I will now saw a woman in half and she still won't have legroom. | 1.5698 | 0.02980 | 695 | 428 | 138 | 129 |
30 | It’s either me for a whole hour or she kicks your seat for the whole trip. | 1.5695 | 0.03008 | 583 | 333 | 168 | 82 |
31 | "One last magic trick before I head back to the cockpit!" | 1.5682 | 0.02654 | 748 | 428 | 215 | 105 |
32 | Thank you for levitating with us today. | 1.5674 | 0.02677 | 742 | 427 | 209 | 106 |
33 | Yes, I am technically your pilot, but magic is my true passion. | 1.5658 | 0.02844 | 691 | 408 | 175 | 108 |
34 | Watch me pull a full-sized suitcase from this overhead bin! | 1.5649 | 0.02656 | 717 | 405 | 219 | 93 |
35 | When I wave this, you'll remember our on-time departure, and a smooth takeoff followed by a delicious meal. | 1.5590 | 0.02786 | 669 | 386 | 192 | 91 |
36 | We actually don't need magic to make your bags disappear. | 1.5585 | 0.03847 | 376 | 224 | 94 | 58 |
37 | And now for my next trick, I will silence all the children in the cabin! | 1.5584 | 0.02675 | 668 | 372 | 219 | 77 |
38 | You’re in economy. First class gets the movie. | 1.5571 | 0.02751 | 657 | 373 | 202 | 82 |
39 | Our meal options today are chicken, fish, and - if I can pull this off - rabbit. | 1.5547 | 0.02926 | 640 | 381 | 163 | 96 |
40 | And now I will make your oversized bag disappear, only to magically reappear in Phoenix with a $35 charge on your card. | 1.5499 | 0.02795 | 611 | 345 | 196 | 70 |
41 | Ta da! You are now in first class. | 1.5498 | 0.02883 | 613 | 356 | 177 | 80 |
42 | Now close your eyes and repeat three times: The landing gear is down. The landing gear is down. The landing gear is down. | 1.5401 | 0.02961 | 561 | 326 | 167 | 68 |
43 | And “poof” there goes your connecting flight. | 1.5346 | 0.03214 | 535 | 330 | 124 | 81 |
44 | Now watch as I disable your call buttons for the remainder of the flight. | 1.5308 | 0.03180 | 503 | 301 | 137 | 65 |
45 | You're following my magic wand. Your eyes are growing heavy. You're forgetting about the twenty-six hour delay. | 1.5305 | 0.03253 | 475 | 283 | 132 | 60 |
46 | I made your leg room disappear! | 1.5281 | 0.03062 | 498 | 289 | 155 | 54 |
47 | Just be glad you're not in coach- they have a mime. | 1.5274 | 0.03267 | 493 | 301 | 124 | 68 |
48 | If you believe, and have a credit card, anything is possible! | 1.5251 | 0.03157 | 478 | 281 | 143 | 54 |
49 | More leg room? Sorry, I do tricks, not miracles. | 1.5243 | 0.03399 | 473 | 295 | 108 | 70 |
50 | For my next trick, we will depart on time. | 1.5228 | 0.03371 | 461 | 283 | 115 | 63 |
51 | And now I will magically turn our one hour delay into a four hour delay. | 1.5217 | 0.03248 | 460 | 274 | 132 | 54 |
52 | We didn’t lose your luggage, it disappeared. | 1.5215 | 0.05213 | 209 | 133 | 43 | 33 |
53 | Think of a delay between one and ten hours. | 1.5140 | 0.03413 | 428 | 261 | 114 | 53 |
54 | …for my next trick, I will need a large body of water and a seat cushion. | 1.5140 | 0.03316 | 428 | 255 | 126 | 47 |
55 | Behold, Tarmac the Magnificent. | 1.5129 | 0.03543 | 425 | 267 | 98 | 60 |
56 | And now, when I open the overhead door, there will be space! | 1.5107 | 0.03317 | 419 | 249 | 126 | 44 |
57 | It was the only way to get my rabbit through security. | 1.5086 | 0.03436 | 405 | 245 | 114 | 46 |
58 | You shouldn’t complain, economy class has a mime. | 1.5085 | 0.03638 | 413 | 264 | 88 | 61 |
59 | We have a new solution to overbooking. | 1.5073 | 0.03560 | 410 | 257 | 98 | 55 |
60 | There's nothing up my sleeve, or in my pockets or shoes. | 1.5071 | 0.03807 | 422 | 284 | 62 | 76 |
61 | How else do you think we get this lump of metal in the air ... physics? | 1.5014 | 0.03754 | 365 | 230 | 87 | 48 |
62 | Alakazam! And the obnoxious gentleman in 26-B has lost the use of his vocal cords. | 1.5000 | 0.03551 | 382 | 235 | 103 | 44 |
63 | Despite Bruce’s efforts, his act wasn’t as popular as the drink cart. | 1.4974 | 0.03484 | 392 | 241 | 107 | 44 |
64 | The real trick is if we take off on time. | 1.4973 | 0.03651 | 368 | 229 | 95 | 44 |
65 | That noisy, drunk guy back in coach is now a toad. You’re welcome. | 1.4959 | 0.03833 | 365 | 236 | 77 | 52 |
66 | For my next trick...levitation. | 1.4934 | 0.03721 | 377 | 242 | 84 | 51 |
67 | For my next trick, you'll magically believe you have more leg room | 1.4930 | 0.03459 | 359 | 214 | 113 | 32 |
68 | Remember that crying baby in seat 10b? | 1.4910 | 0.03666 | 387 | 249 | 86 | 52 |
69 | And now…..a show of hands please. Who would like me to make the pilots reappear? | 1.4899 | 0.04144 | 296 | 189 | 69 | 38 |
70 | Yes,I am a flying sorcerer | 1.4899 | 0.03918 | 345 | 224 | 73 | 48 |
71 | You've been a great audience... now back to the cockpit. | 1.4898 | 0.03826 | 343 | 218 | 82 | 43 |
72 | My live magic show replaces our in-flight movie, cancelled over complaints of its violence and insensitive treatment of women, which we can't condone. For my first trick, I'll be sawing a woman in half." | 1.4898 | 0.03914 | 343 | 222 | 74 | 47 |
73 | Peanuts? Check your left pocket | 1.4891 | 0.03925 | 321 | 203 | 79 | 39 |
74 | And should levitation fail, you may use your seat cushion as a floatation device. | 1.4881 | 0.03807 | 295 | 177 | 92 | 26 |
75 | Pick an arrival time, any arrival time. | 1.4875 | 0.03533 | 361 | 221 | 104 | 36 |
76 | Now that your meals have vanished, I will now shrink the legroom. | 1.4867 | 0.03745 | 339 | 212 | 89 | 38 |
77 | I will now move you freely about the cabin. | 1.4866 | 0.03754 | 335 | 209 | 89 | 37 |
78 | If cabin pressure changes, a rabbit will drop from the panel above you. | 1.4821 | 0.03600 | 336 | 205 | 100 | 31 |
79 | I will now pull an emotional support animal out of my hat. | 1.4817 | 0.03933 | 328 | 212 | 74 | 42 |
80 | Voila! This flight is going to leave on time. | 1.4752 | 0.03763 | 303 | 186 | 90 | 27 |
81 | Next, we'll make your luggage disappear. | 1.4727 | 0.04029 | 330 | 221 | 62 | 47 |
82 | I will now make the kid kicking your seat behind you vanish!" | 1.4724 | 0.03728 | 326 | 205 | 88 | 33 |
83 | Think of a crash sight between here and Denver. | 1.4715 | 0.04378 | 316 | 223 | 37 | 56 |
84 | And for my next trick, I'm going to make all of the passengers on this flight thoughtful and polite. | 1.4712 | 0.04039 | 295 | 190 | 71 | 34 |
85 | I wasn’t able to give you more leg room , so I shortened your legs - you are welcome | 1.4710 | 0.04052 | 310 | 204 | 66 | 40 |
86 | In case of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, a rabbit will fall out over your heads. | 1.4700 | 0.03961 | 300 | 192 | 75 | 33 |
87 | And what snack that we don't have do you wish for? | 1.4700 | 0.03818 | 300 | 187 | 85 | 28 |
88 | In the event of an emergency, we ask that you all clap your hands and say "We believe." | 1.4692 | 0.03892 | 292 | 183 | 81 | 28 |
89 | Think of a gate number between 1 and 10. | 1.4686 | 0.03904 | 303 | 193 | 78 | 32 |
90 | First class got David Copperfield. | 1.4683 | 0.04302 | 284 | 190 | 55 | 39 |
91 | Free upgrade to first class? I’m a magician not a miracle worker | 1.4678 | 0.03923 | 295 | 187 | 78 | 30 |
92 | On the count of three, you will awaken feeling refreshed …as if you’ve just eaten a small bag of peanuts and been served a complimentary beverage. | 1.4656 | 0.05171 | 189 | 125 | 40 | 24 |
93 | Beef, chicken or rabbit? | 1.4650 | 0.04011 | 314 | 208 | 66 | 40 |
94 | We can make your luggage, your connecting flight and your peace of mind all magically disappear. | 1.4624 | 0.04239 | 279 | 185 | 59 | 35 |
95 | My favorite trick is making you believe we're actually going to get there. | 1.4599 | 0.04655 | 274 | 195 | 32 | 47 |
96 | Hey...if I was good at magic we'd be there already. | 1.4588 | 0.04962 | 194 | 127 | 45 | 22 |
97 | Actually, I'm your captain. | 1.4583 | 0.03989 | 288 | 186 | 72 | 30 |
98 | We didn’t lose your luggage, we made it disappear. | 1.4582 | 0.04187 | 299 | 203 | 55 | 41 |
99 | And for my next trick I’ll make flying coach enjoyable. | 1.4568 | 0.04061 | 278 | 180 | 69 | 29 |
100 | Presto. I changed your seat cushions into flotation devices. | 1.4564 | 0.04177 | 287 | 192 | 59 | 36 |
101 | Who wants me to make the pilot reappear? | 1.4558 | 0.04131 | 283 | 187 | 63 | 33 |
102 | How did you think planes stay aloft? | 1.4554 | 0.04118 | 303 | 205 | 58 | 40 |
103 | I will now use this to restart Engine 2! | 1.4531 | 0.04348 | 256 | 170 | 56 | 30 |
104 | Now watch your legroom...disappear! | 1.4528 | 0.04229 | 254 | 165 | 63 | 26 |
105 | For my next trick, we'll depart LaGuardia on time. | 1.4525 | 0.04262 | 263 | 174 | 59 | 30 |
106 | And for my ultimate magic trick, we shall arrive on time. | 1.4521 | 0.03981 | 303 | 201 | 67 | 35 |
107 | Expecto Delaynum! | 1.4506 | 0.04203 | 253 | 164 | 64 | 25 |
108 | Like magic, three seats fit in a space for two. | 1.4500 | 0.04638 | 240 | 164 | 44 | 32 |
109 | The captain will reappear any second now. | 1.4498 | 0.04352 | 269 | 183 | 51 | 35 |
110 | Now, for my most amazing trick I will make you feel comfortable in an airplane seat! | 1.4472 | 0.04249 | 246 | 160 | 62 | 24 |
111 | Please look closely at the wand as I magically draw your attention away from the fine meal and beverage service in first class. | 1.4461 | 0.04351 | 269 | 184 | 50 | 35 |
112 | I've just made six tiny bottles of vodka disappear. | 1.4449 | 0.04298 | 254 | 169 | 57 | 28 |
113 | Greetings, fellow flyers. I'm your unrealistic expectations. | 1.4440 | 0.03944 | 259 | 164 | 75 | 20 |
114 | You can now tell everyone that you've seen a flying sorcerer! | 1.4440 | 0.04545 | 241 | 164 | 47 | 30 |
115 | Abracadabra! Your luggage is in Cleveland | 1.4432 | 0.04177 | 264 | 175 | 61 | 28 |
116 | For my next trick I will give you all reclining seats with leg room and a pillow . | 1.4430 | 0.04616 | 228 | 154 | 47 | 27 |
117 | And now, for only $9 (cash only), I can make a Bacardi miniature appear. | 1.4402 | 0.04232 | 234 | 151 | 63 | 20 |
118 | The wand, located next to each airsick bag, is for wishful thinking. | 1.4395 | 0.04297 | 248 | 165 | 57 | 26 |
119 | Just $100. and a swish of my wand and I can give you more leg room! | 1.4394 | 0.04035 | 264 | 172 | 68 | 24 |
120 | Anybody care for more legroom ? | 1.4392 | 0.04023 | 255 | 164 | 70 | 21 |
121 | Presto! I have made your legroom disappear. | 1.4389 | 0.04198 | 262 | 175 | 59 | 28 |
122 | For my next trick I will restart the engines! | 1.4378 | 0.04659 | 233 | 161 | 42 | 30 |
123 | Welcome aboard! I'm your airy godmother! | 1.4367 | 0.04334 | 245 | 164 | 55 | 26 |
124 | If you upgraded to first class you would have seen Blue Man Group. | 1.4360 | 0.04155 | 250 | 164 | 63 | 23 |
125 | For my next trick, I will send all your luggage to Boise. | 1.4350 | 0.04235 | 223 | 143 | 63 | 17 |
126 | What? You think the oxygen mask just appears out of thin air? | 1.4348 | 0.04053 | 230 | 145 | 70 | 15 |
127 | For my next trick your luggage will disappear. | 1.4329 | 0.04310 | 231 | 152 | 58 | 21 |
128 | I will now conjure mental images of salt pretzels for our valued Economy passengers! | 1.4312 | 0.04631 | 218 | 148 | 46 | 24 |
129 | Shazzzam! We're on time! | 1.4312 | 0.04445 | 218 | 144 | 54 | 20 |
130 | If someone lost their support animal rabbit, I think I found it. | 1.4304 | 0.04322 | 230 | 152 | 57 | 21 |
131 | With a flick I can tell you where your luggage will end up. | 1.4292 | 0.04583 | 212 | 142 | 49 | 21 |
132 | For my next trick, I will make your luggage disappear. | 1.4269 | 0.04035 | 260 | 172 | 65 | 23 |
133 | If this trick works, your luggage will arrive in LA at the same time you do. | 1.4262 | 0.04311 | 237 | 159 | 55 | 23 |
134 | Hello and good morning! I am your inflight entertainment for the next 12 hours. | 1.4252 | 0.04351 | 214 | 140 | 57 | 17 |
135 | Last wishes? | 1.4245 | 0.04770 | 212 | 147 | 40 | 25 |
136 | Finally, a captive audience | 1.4244 | 0.04171 | 238 | 157 | 61 | 20 |
137 | And now I’m going to make your leg-room disappear.” | 1.4242 | 0.04760 | 198 | 134 | 44 | 20 |
138 | You will now behave like human beings.... | 1.4231 | 0.04541 | 208 | 139 | 50 | 19 |
139 | You'll note our captain is now in the overhead compartment. | 1.4229 | 0.05014 | 201 | 142 | 33 | 26 |
140 | Can we arrive on time? I'm a magician, not a miracle worker! | 1.4227 | 0.04549 | 220 | 150 | 47 | 23 |
141 | And for my final trick---the disappearing luggage. | 1.4227 | 0.04728 | 220 | 154 | 39 | 27 |
142 | You now believe you're first class flyers. | 1.4222 | 0.04339 | 225 | 150 | 55 | 20 |
143 | For my next trick, I will send everyone's overhead luggage to baggage claim | 1.4220 | 0.04293 | 218 | 143 | 58 | 17 |
144 | Now, I need a volunteer! Someone who can land a plane! | 1.4211 | 0.04819 | 209 | 146 | 38 | 25 |
145 | If he can make free snacks appear I’ll be impressed | 1.4198 | 0.04387 | 243 | 168 | 48 | 27 |
146 | Presto! Your leg room seems comfortable. | 1.4196 | 0.04163 | 224 | 146 | 62 | 16 |
147 | And abracadabra, your luggage is in a different city. | 1.4195 | 0.04483 | 236 | 164 | 45 | 27 |
148 | And for my next trick, I need a volunteer who knows how to fly a plane..” | 1.4190 | 0.04557 | 210 | 142 | 48 | 20 |
149 | Due to rising gas prices,we will be using magic to fly this plane! | 1.4187 | 0.04773 | 203 | 140 | 41 | 22 |
150 | Magicians? Of course we are. How do you think these planes keep flying? | 1.4187 | 0.04510 | 203 | 135 | 51 | 17 |
151 | I'm your Flight Delay Entertainment, and haven't had a day off in twelve years! | 1.4181 | 0.04329 | 232 | 157 | 53 | 22 |
152 | Watch, as I make your luggage - disappear! | 1.4178 | 0.04748 | 213 | 149 | 39 | 25 |
153 | Abracadabra. We're flying! | 1.4171 | 0.04403 | 199 | 130 | 55 | 14 |
154 | I can't get it open either. | 1.4167 | 0.04272 | 204 | 132 | 59 | 13 |
155 | I can pull a rabbit out of my hat, but not your lost luggage. | 1.4162 | 0.05035 | 197 | 140 | 32 | 25 |
156 | Now you see the drink cart, now you don’t! | 1.4158 | 0.04468 | 202 | 134 | 52 | 16 |
157 | ...and presto! No more legroom! | 1.4152 | 0.04393 | 224 | 152 | 51 | 21 |
158 | I know many of you wonder what really keeps the plane up in the air... | 1.4145 | 0.04671 | 193 | 130 | 46 | 17 |
159 | I call this next one "Vanishing Legroom". | 1.4143 | 0.04602 | 210 | 144 | 45 | 21 |
160 | On 3 everyone: ‘I can fly!’ | 1.4133 | 0.04598 | 225 | 158 | 41 | 26 |
161 | For my next trick, I will turn 5 peanuts into a sufficient snack for an adult-sized human. | 1.4133 | 0.04562 | 196 | 131 | 49 | 16 |
162 | For my next trick, I will make your seats comfortable. | 1.4128 | 0.04478 | 218 | 149 | 48 | 21 |
163 | After the magic show I must return to the cockpit and relieve the clown. | 1.4115 | 0.04714 | 209 | 146 | 40 | 23 |
164 | And now, due to budgetary constraints, I’ll make your free carry-on privileges disappear! | 1.4115 | 0.04446 | 192 | 126 | 53 | 13 |
165 | And now I’m going to make your luggage disappear!! | 1.4112 | 0.04585 | 214 | 148 | 44 | 22 |
166 | Abra-cadabra! Everyone in coach will now believe that they’re comfortable! | 1.4112 | 0.04537 | 214 | 147 | 46 | 21 |
167 | I hope he's not the pilot | 1.4112 | 0.04537 | 214 | 147 | 46 | 21 |
168 | And when we land, I'm going to change you all from sardines back to humans! | 1.4105 | 0.04719 | 190 | 129 | 44 | 17 |
169 | Watch closely now as I make all the comforts of commercial flight magically disappear! | 1.4104 | 0.04518 | 212 | 145 | 47 | 20 |
170 | Bear with me folks. . . one last attempt to make the beverage cart appear before final descent. | 1.4095 | 0.04447 | 210 | 142 | 50 | 18 |
171 | Everything appears out of thin air at this altitude, folks. | 1.4086 | 0.04604 | 186 | 124 | 48 | 14 |
172 | And that’s how we rid our planes of Covid, ladies and gentleman! | 1.4082 | 0.04556 | 196 | 132 | 48 | 16 |
173 | Pick a destination, any destination. | 1.4080 | 0.04531 | 201 | 136 | 48 | 17 |
174 | Hocus Pocus and Abracadabra. We’re headed to Paris but your bag’s still in Tampa. | 1.4076 | 0.05125 | 184 | 131 | 31 | 22 |
175 | And for my next trick, I will make this aircraft levitate. | 1.4076 | 0.04629 | 211 | 147 | 42 | 22 |
176 | Three wishes, but I can’t fix leg room. | 1.4064 | 0.04947 | 187 | 131 | 36 | 20 |
177 | In case of an emergency, each of you has one of these. | 1.4062 | 0.04907 | 192 | 135 | 36 | 21 |
178 | Will you be having the rabbit or the dove? | 1.4061 | 0.04706 | 197 | 136 | 42 | 19 |
179 | Welcome to Tesla Airlines, I am your Captain…. | 1.4059 | 0.04881 | 202 | 144 | 34 | 24 |
180 | And now for my next trick, I will bring around actually editable gourmet meals for everyone. | 1.4054 | 0.04744 | 185 | 126 | 43 | 16 |
181 | For my next trick Governor DeSantis survives our trip to Martha's Vineyard | 1.4053 | 0.04714 | 190 | 130 | 43 | 17 |
182 | I'm not only a pilot, I'm also an amateur magician. Watch as I land the plane from here. | 1.4050 | 0.04489 | 200 | 135 | 49 | 16 |
183 | See me turn a seat cushion into a flotation device! | 1.4047 | 0.04418 | 215 | 147 | 49 | 19 |
184 | I’ll be your anger management specialist for today’s flight. | 1.4043 | 0.04503 | 188 | 125 | 50 | 13 |
185 | Who else wants to see their money disappear? | 1.4041 | 0.04718 | 193 | 133 | 42 | 18 |
186 | Now, I want you to close your eyes and imagine you are flying first class. | 1.4040 | 0.04520 | 198 | 134 | 48 | 16 |
187 | Presto! Less baggage space and more fees! | 1.4040 | 0.04463 | 198 | 133 | 50 | 15 |
188 | Business class gets a fire eater and sword swallower. | 1.4038 | 0.04396 | 213 | 145 | 50 | 18 |
189 | And PRESTO! —You’re watch is now three hours ahead of time! | 1.4028 | 0.04526 | 211 | 146 | 45 | 20 |
190 | When I wave this wand, it will feel like someone is kicking the back of your seat. | 1.4021 | 0.04787 | 189 | 131 | 40 | 18 |
191 | And while his act was marvelous, the only trick the crowd waited for was for the pilot to return to his seat. | 1.4021 | 0.04974 | 194 | 139 | 32 | 23 |
192 | The Magic School Bus wasn't hiring. | 1.4020 | 0.04478 | 204 | 139 | 48 | 17 |
193 | You are sitting in a comfortable lounge chair on a warm beach, and will remember nothing of the next four hours. | 1.4011 | 0.04981 | 182 | 128 | 35 | 19 |
194 | And for my next trick I'll make all your luggage disappear | 1.4010 | 0.05120 | 192 | 140 | 27 | 25 |
195 | For my next trick I'll get this kid to stop kicking your seat. | 1.4010 | 0.04674 | 192 | 132 | 43 | 17 |
196 | I'm looking for a few brave volunteers... the flight is overbooked. | 1.4010 | 0.04589 | 197 | 135 | 45 | 17 |
197 | And yes sir, 'leg-room' is also an illusion. | 1.4000 | 0.04863 | 175 | 120 | 40 | 15 |
198 | For my next trick, I need a volunteer to fly the plane. | 1.4000 | 0.04465 | 190 | 127 | 50 | 13 |
199 | The pilot would like to know if you believe in magic. | 1.3991 | 0.04483 | 223 | 157 | 43 | 23 |
200 | ...and viola!.....no leg room | 1.3990 | 0.04895 | 198 | 142 | 33 | 23 |
201 | And now, we will create six more inches of leg space, if everyone just believes... | 1.3988 | 0.04969 | 173 | 120 | 37 | 16 |
202 | Would you like it to taste like fish or chicken? | 1.3980 | 0.04429 | 196 | 132 | 50 | 14 |
203 | And now to chop your legroom in half. | 1.3979 | 0.04747 | 191 | 133 | 40 | 18 |
204 | For my next trick, I'll make your connecting flight disappear | 1.3979 | 0.04629 | 191 | 131 | 44 | 16 |
205 | An inflight meal? I do magic tricks, not miracles. | 1.3978 | 0.04898 | 186 | 131 | 36 | 19 |
206 | ...and nothing in my right hand. No in-flight meal, no beverage, no little bag of nuts. Nothing. | 1.3969 | 0.04969 | 194 | 140 | 31 | 23 |
207 | If the airline hadn't lost my rabbit, you'd really love this next trick. | 1.3967 | 0.04936 | 184 | 130 | 35 | 19 |
208 | And now for my most requested trick, I will make a crying baby vanish! | 1.3966 | 0.05037 | 179 | 127 | 33 | 19 |
209 | Voila! In-flight service has disappeared. | 1.3966 | 0.04846 | 179 | 124 | 39 | 16 |
210 | Misbehave and the magic wand becomes a taser. | 1.3966 | 0.04781 | 179 | 123 | 41 | 15 |
211 | Watch closely as I make your leg room. . . disappear! | 1.3966 | 0.04525 | 174 | 115 | 49 | 10 |
212 | For those of you in economy, this is just a stick. | 1.3966 | 0.05334 | 174 | 127 | 25 | 22 |
213 | For my next trick, everyone makes their connecting flight! | 1.3959 | 0.04858 | 197 | 141 | 34 | 22 |
214 | You have to believe the oxygen is going to flow. | 1.3957 | 0.04696 | 187 | 129 | 42 | 16 |
215 | Abracadabra... we will arrive on time! | 1.3957 | 0.04696 | 187 | 129 | 42 | 16 |
216 | And now for my next trick: an on-time departure! | 1.3953 | 0.05120 | 172 | 122 | 32 | 18 |
217 | My best one is when I make your luggage disappear and reappear a week later at your home. | 1.3953 | 0.04777 | 172 | 117 | 42 | 13 |
218 | For your safety, there is a magic wand stored under your seat. In the event of an emergency, please locate the magic wand and recite the spell you will find in the safety leaflet stored in the seat pocket in front of you. | 1.3950 | 0.04588 | 200 | 139 | 43 | 18 |
219 | There's magic in the air. We're on time! | 1.3946 | 0.04410 | 185 | 123 | 51 | 11 |
220 | Welcome! I'm here to distract you from the discomfort of flying with us today. | 1.3936 | 0.04426 | 188 | 126 | 50 | 12 |
221 | Ladies and Gentlemen, if you are travelling with small children today, I can turn them into rabbits | 1.3936 | 0.04490 | 188 | 127 | 48 | 13 |
222 | For my next trick: Leg room! | 1.3934 | 0.04574 | 183 | 124 | 46 | 13 |
223 | For my first trick, we’ll take off on time | 1.3929 | 0.05068 | 168 | 118 | 34 | 16 |
224 | And for my next trick I will make you believe you have unlimted legroom. | 1.3927 | 0.04740 | 191 | 134 | 39 | 18 |
225 | When I say the magic word, this plane will be delayed for no apparent reason. | 1.3927 | 0.04682 | 191 | 133 | 41 | 17 |
226 | And for my next trick, I'll make the in-flight movie appear Oscar-worthy." | 1.3920 | 0.04546 | 199 | 138 | 44 | 17 |
227 | Look at me! Not at the flaming engine! | 1.3916 | 0.05182 | 166 | 118 | 31 | 17 |
228 | Don't worry! When we all say restorowingus" the left wing will magically GROW back. Ready... | 1.3915 | 0.04716 | 189 | 132 | 40 | 17 |
229 | For my next trick I'll make time fly. Just kidding. | 1.3911 | 0.04840 | 179 | 125 | 38 | 16 |
230 | You can clap after the landing | 1.3908 | 0.04662 | 174 | 118 | 44 | 12 |
231 | When I say the secret word, “dummies”, you will wake up refreshed, your knees won’t feel crammed in, your butts will be numb, and you won’t want any beverages or snacks. | 1.3905 | 0.04830 | 169 | 116 | 40 | 13 |
232 | Your connecting flight is on time! | 1.3892 | 0.04942 | 167 | 116 | 37 | 14 |
233 | And for my next trick, you will arrive in Baltimore, and your luggage will arrive in New York. | 1.3889 | 0.04818 | 180 | 126 | 38 | 16 |
234 | One last trick and then I’d better get back to the cockpit. | 1.3889 | 0.04818 | 180 | 126 | 38 | 16 |
235 | And now, with a little help from my lovely stewardess, we're going to saw your legroom in half. | 1.3871 | 0.04765 | 186 | 131 | 38 | 17 |
236 | And just like that, your flight is canceled! | 1.3867 | 0.04666 | 181 | 125 | 42 | 14 |
237 | Sit for a spell. | 1.3862 | 0.04336 | 189 | 127 | 51 | 11 |
238 | For my next trick…more legroom! | 1.3859 | 0.04611 | 184 | 127 | 43 | 14 |
239 | Presto! Your baggage has disappeared but will magically reappear when and where you least expect it! | 1.3858 | 0.04683 | 197 | 140 | 38 | 19 |
240 | This is your in-flight entertainment | 1.3854 | 0.04537 | 192 | 133 | 44 | 15 |
241 | For my next act, I will convince you that a 90 ton box will rise 6 miles above sea level, travel 1000 miles, remain perfectly pressurized at 75 degrees, land with the tiniest bump, and has no environmental impact. | 1.3854 | 0.04655 | 192 | 135 | 40 | 17 |
242 | I call this next one, 'Auto Pilot.' | 1.3851 | 0.04831 | 161 | 110 | 40 | 11 |
243 | And just like that, your extra leg room is gone. | 1.3846 | 0.04766 | 156 | 105 | 42 | 9 |
244 | And, voilà! Your seat will now recline about an inch. | 1.3846 | 0.04748 | 169 | 116 | 41 | 12 |
245 | Ever wonder how airplanes fly? | 1.3837 | 0.04832 | 172 | 120 | 38 | 14 |
246 | And for my next trick, I'm going to make it possible for your bags to fit in the overhead bin. | 1.3834 | 0.04518 | 193 | 134 | 44 | 15 |
247 | Aaaaand voila! I have just removed the very last frill from air travel!! | 1.3833 | 0.04874 | 180 | 128 | 35 | 17 |
248 | ...And, as you see, the plane is now floating in the air...' | 1.3820 | 0.05040 | 178 | 129 | 30 | 19 |
249 | Sorry, the rest of my props were in my luggage. | 1.3810 | 0.04532 | 168 | 113 | 46 | 9 |
250 | And now, I shall make disappear all the children who have been kicking the backs of seats. | 1.3804 | 0.05090 | 163 | 116 | 32 | 15 |
251 | Unfortunately, I can’t make that kid sitting behind you disappear. | 1.3799 | 0.04693 | 179 | 125 | 40 | 14 |
252 | For my next trick, I'll make the barefoot guy in 13C, who just put his feet up on lady in 12D's armrest, disappear via the emergency exit. | 1.3793 | 0.04787 | 174 | 122 | 38 | 14 |
253 | Yes, disappearing any irritating passenger is apart of your first class service! | 1.3793 | 0.05057 | 174 | 126 | 30 | 18 |
254 | Watch me make an hour of your life on the tarmac disappear. | 1.3793 | 0.04717 | 174 | 121 | 40 | 13 |
255 | Now for some flight attendant magic...You may notice my right arm is turned totally backwards | 1.3791 | 0.05408 | 153 | 111 | 26 | 16 |
256 | As part of a special promotion, available only to passengers on this flight, I'm going to make that kid behind you disappear. | 1.3785 | 0.04992 | 177 | 128 | 31 | 18 |
257 | Abracadabra, we're on time! | 1.3782 | 0.05010 | 156 | 109 | 35 | 12 |
258 | Passengers, legroom is simply an illusion. | 1.3780 | 0.05138 | 164 | 118 | 30 | 16 |
259 | Be prepared! For my next trick, I will levitate the entire audience! | 1.3770 | 0.04992 | 183 | 134 | 29 | 20 |
260 | …and PRESTO! You’ll think you’re in first class! | 1.3766 | 0.04882 | 154 | 106 | 38 | 10 |
261 | When I say the magic word, the Captain will awake. | 1.3766 | 0.05053 | 154 | 108 | 34 | 12 |
262 | And just like that, voila! Your oxygen mask should appear | 1.3765 | 0.04717 | 162 | 111 | 41 | 10 |
263 | The captain says we need more believers to get this plane off the ground. | 1.3763 | 0.04723 | 194 | 140 | 35 | 19 |
264 | For a modest fee, I can make your luggage appear at the baggage claim. | 1.3758 | 0.05183 | 165 | 120 | 28 | 17 |
265 | Watch the wand carefully! When I wave it three times, you will permanently forget that you just spent three hours sitting on the tarmac, for a shifting array of reasons. | 1.3757 | 0.04870 | 173 | 123 | 35 | 15 |
266 | For my next trick, I will turn the dude in 21D who won't get off his phone into a bag of pretzels. | 1.3742 | 0.05006 | 163 | 116 | 33 | 14 |
267 | Presto change-o! For an additional fee, of course. | 1.3739 | 0.06109 | 115 | 83 | 21 | 11 |
268 | And now I'll make the last of your patience disappear. | 1.3735 | 0.05086 | 166 | 120 | 30 | 16 |
269 | Hey, passengers! Watch me pull an upgrade to business class out of my hat! | 1.3733 | 0.05228 | 150 | 107 | 30 | 13 |
270 | Due to cost-cutting, your in-flight entertainment will be provided by the flight crew. | 1.3729 | 0.04787 | 177 | 126 | 36 | 15 |
271 | And for just $200 I can magically put you in first class! | 1.3725 | 0.05398 | 153 | 112 | 25 | 16 |
272 | Poof. You're in first class and the baby has disappeared. | 1.3725 | 0.05069 | 153 | 108 | 33 | 12 |
273 | And Presto! Your leg room is gone. | 1.3718 | 0.05162 | 156 | 112 | 30 | 14 |
274 | No, I can't make a plane disappear, but I'm very good with luggage. | 1.3709 | 0.05284 | 151 | 109 | 28 | 14 |
275 | …and, in case of emergency, each of you will find a magic carpet under your seat. | 1.3701 | 0.05208 | 154 | 111 | 29 | 14 |
276 | The magic wand is just for show. There’s actually nothing I can do about the leg room. | 1.3690 | 0.04432 | 168 | 114 | 46 | 8 |
277 | And for my next trick, I’ll make the child kicking your seat disappear. | 1.3687 | 0.05064 | 160 | 115 | 31 | 14 |
278 | And, just like that, your carry-on bag fits in the overhead compartment | 1.3684 | 0.05337 | 152 | 111 | 26 | 15 |
279 | And that's how we land the plane. Magic. | 1.3681 | 0.05284 | 144 | 103 | 29 | 12 |
280 | ...aaand where has your luggage gone? Why, there it is! In a holdover terminal in Cincinnati! | 1.3675 | 0.04856 | 166 | 118 | 35 | 13 |
281 | Now watch as I create a new baggage fee. | 1.3675 | 0.04856 | 166 | 118 | 35 | 13 |
282 | You have entered a world of illusion where we are next in line for takeoff… | 1.3672 | 0.04911 | 177 | 129 | 31 | 17 |
283 | Everyone was allergic to peanuts and then pretzels and well frankly magic is all we have left to offer. | 1.3671 | 0.04865 | 158 | 111 | 36 | 11 |
284 | The captain has turned off the no magic sign | 1.3667 | 0.05131 | 150 | 107 | 31 | 12 |
285 | Abracadabra! Your luggage has disappeared. | 1.3663 | 0.04806 | 172 | 123 | 35 | 14 |
286 | And our last tomato juice goes to... | 1.3662 | 0.05045 | 142 | 99 | 34 | 9 |
287 | And now I will make your leg room reappear! | 1.3654 | 0.04820 | 156 | 109 | 37 | 10 |
288 | Just wait'll you see this baby fly. | 1.3653 | 0.05329 | 167 | 126 | 21 | 20 |
289 | Abracadabra, you have more leg room! Doesn't that feel better? | 1.3642 | 0.04926 | 151 | 106 | 35 | 10 |
290 | For my next trick! Turbulence. | 1.3631 | 0.04599 | 179 | 127 | 39 | 13 |
291 | Even this magic wand will not get you into first class. | 1.3623 | 0.05533 | 138 | 101 | 24 | 13 |
292 | Under your seat you will find a life vest and the seven of diamonds | 1.3623 | 0.05437 | 138 | 100 | 26 | 12 |
293 | Sawing the pilot in half might have been a mistake. | 1.3617 | 0.05719 | 141 | 106 | 19 | 16 |
294 | No reason for panic, folks, but who wants to be turned into a pilot? | 1.3613 | 0.05087 | 155 | 112 | 30 | 13 |
295 | And for $50 dollars I can turn the child behind you into a martini fountain for the length of the flight. | 1.3611 | 0.05271 | 144 | 104 | 28 | 12 |
296 | Being a pilot is my day job. | 1.3608 | 0.05097 | 158 | 115 | 29 | 14 |
297 | I've made three martinis vanish - just like that! | 1.3597 | 0.05499 | 139 | 102 | 24 | 13 |
298 | And for my next trick, I will remove all your remaining personal space. | 1.3590 | 0.04977 | 156 | 112 | 32 | 12 |
299 | Sir please, look out your window. Do you see a wing there? | 1.3585 | 0.04828 | 159 | 113 | 35 | 11 |
300 | For my next trick, I will charge you $10. | 1.3581 | 0.05164 | 148 | 107 | 29 | 12 |
301 | And, now, I will make extra legroom appear right before your very eyes | 1.3577 | 0.05048 | 137 | 96 | 33 | 8 |
302 | The captain has turned on the hocus pocus sign.” | 1.3576 | 0.05003 | 151 | 108 | 32 | 11 |
303 | No, the baggage handler made your suitcase disappear. | 1.3571 | 0.05019 | 154 | 111 | 31 | 12 |
304 | "Sure, Prest-O, Change-O: filet mignon, legroom galore, and that adorable child no longer kicking your seat." Anything else? | 1.3571 | 0.04646 | 168 | 119 | 38 | 11 |
305 | Welcome to Spirit Airlines. | 1.3566 | 0.05100 | 143 | 102 | 31 | 10 |
306 | Do you think we should break it to him that it's actually lift, thrust, drag, and weight that make the plane stay up? | 1.3557 | 0.05309 | 149 | 110 | 25 | 14 |
307 | And in my right hand, you'll find your leg space. | 1.3553 | 0.05148 | 152 | 111 | 28 | 13 |
308 | And just like that, we've made your legroom disappear! | 1.3542 | 0.05165 | 144 | 104 | 29 | 11 |
309 | Watch how I make your rights disappear. | 1.3540 | 0.04859 | 161 | 116 | 33 | 12 |
310 | I will now produce the illusion of leg room. | 1.3540 | 0.04859 | 161 | 116 | 33 | 12 |
311 | And poof, your luggage is there. | 1.3534 | 0.05463 | 133 | 97 | 25 | 11 |
312 | Shazam! Your connecting flight is gone! | 1.3529 | 0.05575 | 136 | 101 | 22 | 13 |
313 | I’ve always preferred a captive audience. | 1.3525 | 0.05292 | 139 | 101 | 27 | 11 |
314 | To assist the crew during an in-flight emergency, wave the magic wands located beneath your seat. | 1.3517 | 0.05228 | 145 | 106 | 27 | 12 |
315 | I can't do upgrades. | 1.3506 | 0.04921 | 154 | 111 | 32 | 11 |
316 | I finally have your attention. | 1.3504 | 0.05138 | 137 | 98 | 30 | 9 |
317 | Presto delayo, your connections in Dallas have disappeared! | 1.3503 | 0.04770 | 157 | 112 | 35 | 10 |
318 | For my final trick, I will make your luggage disappear and reappear in Schenectady! | 1.3500 | 0.05260 | 140 | 102 | 27 | 11 |
319 | Please make sure all seat backs are returned to their upright positions, and all rabbits are returned to their hats. | 1.3500 | 0.05162 | 140 | 101 | 29 | 10 |
320 | Who knew flying could get any worse | 1.3500 | 0.05546 | 140 | 105 | 21 | 14 |
321 | Which would you like to see? I can pull a rabbit out of my hat. Or I can make the kid behind you disappear. | 1.3487 | 0.05049 | 152 | 111 | 29 | 12 |
322 | Watch carefully as I turn this passenger from passive to aggressive! | 1.3485 | 0.05790 | 132 | 100 | 18 | 14 |
323 | Alacazam, alacazin, your luggage has taken off for Berlin. | 1.3481 | 0.05077 | 135 | 96 | 31 | 8 |
324 | More legroom? I’m a magician not a miracle worker! | 1.3481 | 0.05394 | 135 | 99 | 25 | 11 |
325 | In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, close your eyes and tap your heels together three times. | 1.3481 | 0.05291 | 135 | 98 | 27 | 10 |
326 | Rabbits out of a hat, yes. Luggage arriving at its destination, no. | 1.3478 | 0.04847 | 161 | 117 | 32 | 12 |
327 | So the captain says, "You're wasting your talent as a mere co-pilot. Share the act with the cabin while I nap. Why have an autopilot if you never use it?" | 1.3478 | 0.05005 | 161 | 119 | 28 | 14 |
328 | Yes, we eliminated pilots in our budget cuts. This is how we land planes now." | 1.3475 | 0.05325 | 141 | 104 | 25 | 12 |
329 | For my next trick, I'll make your sense of dignity reappear! | 1.3475 | 0.05131 | 141 | 102 | 29 | 10 |
330 | And for my next trick, all the babies on board will sleep through the entire flight! | 1.3475 | 0.04826 | 141 | 99 | 35 | 7 |
331 | And under your seat, for flight emergencies, you will find your Mary Poppins umbrella. | 1.3472 | 0.05515 | 144 | 109 | 20 | 15 |
332 | You are all hereby "Declassified". | 1.3472 | 0.05151 | 144 | 105 | 28 | 11 |
333 | After we land you will say that you enjoyed your flight. | 1.3462 | 0.05537 | 130 | 96 | 23 | 11 |
334 | I thought we already left Vegas! | 1.3462 | 0.05429 | 130 | 95 | 25 | 10 |
335 | For my next trick, you’ll all have leg room. | 1.3459 | 0.05342 | 133 | 97 | 26 | 10 |
336 | Watch me make the joy of airline travel completely disappear. | 1.3451 | 0.05386 | 142 | 106 | 23 | 13 |
337 | No food or drink service on this flight, but you can take your chances with whatever comes out of my hat. | 1.3451 | 0.04901 | 142 | 101 | 33 | 8 |
338 | For my next trick, I will add 6 more inches to your seat space. | 1.3446 | 0.04569 | 148 | 103 | 39 | 6 |
339 | Slip me $50 and I'll make the urchin behind you disappear. | 1.3446 | 0.05226 | 148 | 110 | 25 | 13 |
340 | And now, your economy class entertainment! | 1.3442 | 0.05323 | 154 | 117 | 21 | 16 |
341 | And now I’ll make your leg space disappear. | 1.3442 | 0.04908 | 154 | 112 | 31 | 11 |
342 | Don't be alarmed by the pilots in clown suits. We take Halloween very seriously | 1.3440 | 0.05093 | 125 | 88 | 31 | 6 |
343 | In case of emergency, simply think of a number between 1 and 100. | 1.3438 | 0.05483 | 128 | 94 | 24 | 10 |
344 | At the count of three you’ll all believe we’ll arrive on time. | 1.3435 | 0.05394 | 131 | 96 | 25 | 10 |
345 | And your luggage... is GONE. | 1.3431 | 0.05225 | 137 | 100 | 27 | 10 |
346 | Use this for legroom. | 1.3431 | 0.05225 | 137 | 100 | 27 | 10 |
347 | For my next trick I will conjure the illusion of legroom. | 1.3431 | 0.05016 | 137 | 98 | 31 | 8 |
348 | One more, until the Wi-Fi reconnects | 1.3429 | 0.05245 | 140 | 103 | 26 | 11 |
349 | …and now your luggage is headed to the opposite coast. | 1.3425 | 0.05362 | 146 | 110 | 22 | 14 |
350 | For my next trick, the flight will experience extreme turbulence as soon as the restroom becomes available. | 1.3419 | 0.05050 | 155 | 115 | 27 | 13 |
351 | Now watch as I make the man in 10E put his shoes back on | 1.3415 | 0.05636 | 123 | 91 | 22 | 10 |
352 | And now we're levitating. | 1.3413 | 0.05305 | 126 | 91 | 27 | 8 |
353 | And for my next trick, I will hypnotize the kid in the second aisle | 1.3413 | 0.05184 | 126 | 90 | 29 | 7 |
354 | I only know how to make your luggage disappear. | 1.3413 | 0.05060 | 126 | 89 | 31 | 6 |
355 | And for my next trick, I will send your luggage to Siberia. | 1.3413 | 0.05539 | 126 | 93 | 23 | 10 |
356 | Okey, can I get a second volunteer? | 1.3413 | 0.05423 | 126 | 92 | 25 | 9 |
357 | For my first trick, I will magically get this flight out of Newark to land " On Time" | 1.3411 | 0.05103 | 129 | 92 | 30 | 7 |
358 | All these years I didn’t believe in the Upgrade Fairy. | 1.3406 | 0.04878 | 138 | 98 | 33 | 7 |
359 | Close your eyes, Seat 32D... when I count to "3" your luggage will magically reappear in Topeka, Kansas on Friday. | 1.3404 | 0.04703 | 141 | 99 | 36 | 6 |
360 | Pick the time delay--any time delay.... | 1.3404 | 0.04914 | 141 | 101 | 32 | 8 |
361 | Abracadabra your luggage is in Milwaukee | 1.3404 | 0.05214 | 141 | 104 | 26 | 11 |
362 | You're getting sleepy and you love five hour delays, sleepy... | 1.3404 | 0.05016 | 141 | 102 | 30 | 9 |
363 | And now to change that baby doll back into a full grown passenger... | 1.3401 | 0.04969 | 147 | 107 | 30 | 10 |
364 | In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, you will magically realize why you should have listened to the safety demonstration. | 1.3388 | 0.05190 | 121 | 86 | 29 | 6 |
365 | Abracadabra, your flight is not cancelled or delayed! | 1.3385 | 0.05186 | 130 | 94 | 28 | 8 |
366 | For my next trick we will land on time. | 1.3381 | 0.04956 | 139 | 100 | 31 | 8 |
367 | Voila. Your 36 inch legs now fit in a 22 inch space. | 1.3379 | 0.05012 | 145 | 106 | 29 | 10 |
368 | In your checked luggage, you'll find the card you were thinking of. | 1.3377 | 0.05148 | 154 | 116 | 24 | 14 |
369 | Magic! we will arrive on time | 1.3377 | 0.05065 | 154 | 115 | 26 | 13 |
370 | Now, does everyone remember what we drew on the engine before it disappeared | 1.3362 | 0.05865 | 116 | 87 | 19 | 10 |
371 | - No, sky marshal is my part-time job... | 1.3361 | 0.05240 | 119 | 85 | 28 | 6 |
372 | With the wave of my wand you’ll all think you’re in first class. | 1.3361 | 0.05535 | 122 | 90 | 23 | 9 |
373 | First, the legroom, and now the snacks are gone! | 1.3361 | 0.06004 | 122 | 94 | 15 | 13 |
374 | magic in the air | 1.3360 | 0.05673 | 125 | 94 | 20 | 11 |
375 | And now, will you please place your tray table in the upright and locked position, and look in the seat pocket in front of you and tell me if that’s your card. | 1.3359 | 0.05465 | 128 | 95 | 23 | 10 |
376 | Did he just say it's going to take real magic to get our luggage back? | 1.3359 | 0.05465 | 128 | 95 | 23 | 10 |
377 | Abracadabra. The captain shall reappear. Huh. That's not it either. | 1.3359 | 0.05116 | 128 | 92 | 29 | 7 |
378 | For my final trick I will have the child behind you refrain from kicking your seat for the duration of the flight | 1.3358 | 0.05499 | 134 | 101 | 21 | 12 |
379 | Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain busking. | 1.3356 | 0.04913 | 149 | 109 | 30 | 10 |
380 | Now, keep your eyes glued to my magic wand, not the starboard engine. | 1.3355 | 0.05108 | 152 | 114 | 25 | 13 |
381 | And voilà, Your baggage is on this plane . It’s magic! | 1.3352 | 0.04809 | 176 | 133 | 27 | 16 |
382 | ...and for an additional 11 dollars per person I'll move along to aisle 24. | 1.3333 | 0.05043 | 135 | 98 | 29 | 8 |
383 | For my next trick, I will disappear for the rest of the flight. | 1.3333 | 0.05120 | 123 | 88 | 29 | 6 |
384 | For my next trick I'll need a volunteer interested in earning three-thousand unlimited bonus points. | 1.3333 | 0.05694 | 117 | 87 | 21 | 9 |
385 | For my next trick, I’ll need a volunteer from the audience to bring me their carry-on…. | 1.3333 | 0.05278 | 138 | 103 | 24 | 11 |
386 | Count your blessings. Flight 402 got the mariachi band. | 1.3333 | 0.05151 | 135 | 99 | 27 | 9 |
387 | I could pull extra legroom out of my hat, but it’ll cost you. | 1.3333 | 0.05201 | 129 | 94 | 27 | 8 |
388 | In the unlikely event of an on-time arrival, balloons will drop from the overhead compartments. | 1.3333 | 0.05164 | 126 | 91 | 28 | 7 |
389 | And now for a little levitation. | 1.3333 | 0.05389 | 141 | 107 | 21 | 13 |
390 | Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! | 1.3333 | 0.05006 | 132 | 95 | 30 | 7 |
391 | For my next trick I'll sit down so we can depart on time. | 1.3333 | 0.05248 | 123 | 89 | 27 | 7 |
392 | For my next trick, this plane will arrive on time. | 1.3333 | 0.05164 | 126 | 91 | 28 | 7 |
393 | A magic wand? No, silly. But give us any trouble and feel the magic behind my new taser. | 1.3333 | 0.05043 | 135 | 98 | 29 | 8 |
394 | Watch— as I make your comfort disappear. | 1.3333 | 0.05285 | 126 | 92 | 26 | 8 |
395 | We should have seen this coming. What kind of airport has a Gate 9 3/4s! | 1.3310 | 0.04996 | 145 | 107 | 28 | 10 |
396 | I make the plane levitate. | 1.3307 | 0.05483 | 127 | 95 | 22 | 10 |
397 | And that is how we get the plane to fly. | 1.3306 | 0.05337 | 124 | 91 | 25 | 8 |
398 | And with this wand, I will make this train fly. | 1.3306 | 0.05337 | 124 | 91 | 25 | 8 |
399 | Abracadabra! Our flight is not canceled! | 1.3306 | 0.05553 | 121 | 90 | 22 | 9 |
400 | And for my next trick, I'm going to wave my magic wand and make this 80,000 kg airplane FLY! | 1.3304 | 0.05485 | 115 | 84 | 24 | 7 |
401 | For my next trick, I’ll make your legroom reappear. | 1.3287 | 0.04839 | 143 | 104 | 31 | 8 |
402 | To start the flow of oxygen, reach up and pull the rabbit toward you, fully extending its ears. | 1.3284 | 0.05273 | 134 | 100 | 24 | 10 |
403 | I have just magically added one millimeter of knee room to your seat. | 1.3284 | 0.04943 | 134 | 97 | 30 | 7 |
404 | Be thankful. The entertainment on the next flight is mimes. | 1.3284 | 0.04943 | 134 | 97 | 30 | 7 |
405 | Welcome aboard Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. For this next trick... | 1.3282 | 0.05358 | 131 | 98 | 23 | 10 |
406 | Welcome on board! I'm your captain, cabin crew and entertainment on demand... | 1.3282 | 0.05247 | 131 | 97 | 25 | 9 |
407 | And just like that, 90 tons of metal, carbon fiber, plastic and highly explosive jet fuel is floating six and a half miles above the earth. | 1.3281 | 0.04974 | 128 | 92 | 30 | 6 |
408 | We want you to enjoy the days you’ll be aboard. | 1.3280 | 0.05051 | 125 | 90 | 29 | 6 |
409 | I’m a First Class act. | 1.3279 | 0.05263 | 122 | 89 | 26 | 7 |
410 | And now I'll make the pilots disappear! | 1.3279 | 0.05636 | 122 | 92 | 20 | 10 |
411 | Remember to pull the rabbit out of your own hat first before assisting others. | 1.3279 | 0.05636 | 122 | 92 | 20 | 10 |
412 | Ta-Da! Your checked bags have vanished | 1.3276 | 0.05581 | 116 | 86 | 22 | 8 |
413 | See the rabbit in the overhead compartment. | 1.3273 | 0.05184 | 110 | 78 | 28 | 4 |
414 | And now I will levitate this whole plane and everyone in it. | 1.3262 | 0.05467 | 141 | 109 | 18 | 14 |
415 | And for my next trick, I'll narrow your seat even more | 1.3261 | 0.05261 | 138 | 104 | 23 | 11 |
416 | And we will arrive 20 minutes early! | 1.3256 | 0.05521 | 129 | 98 | 20 | 11 |
417 | Hello folks, I'm the Amazng Alex, and for your inflight entertainment today, I'm going to transform the first class seats into middle coach seats for your amusement. | 1.3256 | 0.05063 | 129 | 94 | 28 | 7 |
418 | And what’s this behind your ear? Oh! A tiny bag of pretzels! | 1.3256 | 0.05410 | 129 | 97 | 22 | 10 |
419 | Watch how I magically make your legroom disappear. | 1.3252 | 0.05227 | 123 | 90 | 26 | 7 |
420 | ... and, it doubles as a taser for unruly passengers! | 1.3243 | 0.05602 | 111 | 82 | 22 | 7 |
421 | And now, I will make the wings reappear. | 1.3231 | 0.05374 | 130 | 98 | 22 | 10 |
422 | I'm here to provide you with a selection of illusions of safety. | 1.3231 | 0.05030 | 130 | 95 | 28 | 7 |
423 | For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer to take a later flight. | 1.3231 | 0.05591 | 130 | 100 | 18 | 12 |
424 | In case there is a loss of cabin pressure, the captain will summon me to perform my magic. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
425 | Next, I'll show you how reclining your seat will transform into a fist fight and an action-packed video on Twitter. | 1.3228 | 0.05463 | 127 | 96 | 21 | 10 |
426 | I just turned your seat into a flotation device. | 1.3220 | 0.05230 | 118 | 86 | 26 | 6 |
427 | And with a swish and a flick, I'll make your checked bags disappear! | 1.3211 | 0.05812 | 109 | 82 | 19 | 8 |
428 | They turned me into the pilot since we're short staffed. | 1.3211 | 0.06235 | 109 | 85 | 13 | 11 |
429 | I will now read your future. This plane will sit on the tarmac for 45 minutes and you’ll miss your connecting flight. | 1.3209 | 0.05360 | 134 | 102 | 21 | 11 |
430 | For my next trick, the crying baby in 6A will fall into a peaceful slumber. | 1.3206 | 0.04757 | 131 | 94 | 32 | 5 |
431 | And now I will make your trip to Chicago disappear. Welcome to Tulsa. | 1.3203 | 0.05195 | 128 | 95 | 25 | 8 |
432 | Now to make your roller bags reappear... at baggage claim | 1.3203 | 0.05195 | 128 | 95 | 25 | 8 |
433 | ‘’Watch as free drinks and snacks disappear!” | 1.3200 | 0.05156 | 125 | 92 | 26 | 7 |
434 | If you liked that trick,just wait till you see what we did with your luggage | 1.3197 | 0.05851 | 122 | 95 | 15 | 12 |
435 | I can make new fees appear out of nowhere! | 1.3197 | 0.05492 | 122 | 92 | 21 | 9 |
436 | For my next trick, I'll make leg room disappear. | 1.3197 | 0.05240 | 122 | 90 | 25 | 7 |
437 | And voila! That child has stopped kicking your seat! | 1.3197 | 0.05368 | 122 | 91 | 23 | 8 |
438 | For my next trick, I will hypnotize you into believing you have enough leg room. | 1.3193 | 0.05715 | 119 | 91 | 18 | 10 |
439 | Now I’ll make your leg room magically reappear. | 1.3191 | 0.05065 | 141 | 106 | 25 | 10 |
440 | And for my next trick, I will fit a bag in the overhead ... first try! | 1.3191 | 0.04861 | 141 | 104 | 29 | 8 |
441 | I will now get many members of this audience to purchase a terrible can of light beer for over 8 dollars! | 1.3191 | 0.05450 | 141 | 110 | 17 | 14 |
442 | Now, I know magic isn't everyone's thing, but our flight's been delayed for thirty minutes, and I'm not missing this opportunity of a full house. | 1.3191 | 0.04964 | 141 | 105 | 27 | 9 |
443 | Ladies and Gentlemen, we are currently 79th in line for takeoff. While we’re waiting….. | 1.3190 | 0.05557 | 116 | 87 | 21 | 8 |
444 | You are now getting very sleepy, and you'll stay asleep and not bother me until we get to our destination. | 1.3188 | 0.05037 | 138 | 103 | 26 | 9 |
445 | 1st Class gets live Broadway shows, an entire French restaurant, and Botox on demand --- but this is nice, right? | 1.3188 | 0.04723 | 160 | 120 | 29 | 11 |
446 | And now watch me pull a dollar out of your wallet | 1.3186 | 0.05797 | 113 | 86 | 18 | 9 |
447 | In case of emergency your oxygen masks will magically appear. | 1.3185 | 0.04893 | 135 | 99 | 29 | 7 |
448 | Voila! The glamour of air travel is back. | 1.3182 | 0.05469 | 110 | 81 | 23 | 6 |
449 | I am the Flight Attendant's Apprentice! | 1.3179 | 0.05093 | 151 | 116 | 22 | 13 |
450 | And now you’ll find that you have no leg room! | 1.3178 | 0.05042 | 129 | 95 | 27 | 7 |
451 | And now, for just a $28 convenience fee, I can make your carry-on bags reappear! | 1.3178 | 0.05276 | 129 | 97 | 23 | 9 |
452 | I can magically put you in a zen state so you don’t have to be arrested on arrival. | 1.3178 | 0.05410 | 107 | 78 | 24 | 5 |
453 | In accordance with airline policy,I will make your legroom disappear. | 1.3175 | 0.05817 | 126 | 99 | 14 | 13 |
454 | More leg room? No. But I can make your seat tip back two more inches. | 1.3171 | 0.05575 | 123 | 94 | 19 | 10 |
455 | With just a wave of my wand, your overstuffed carry-on fits in the luggage compartment. | 1.3171 | 0.05454 | 123 | 93 | 21 | 9 |
456 | And for my next trick, I'll make your leg room disappear. | 1.3162 | 0.05381 | 117 | 87 | 23 | 7 |
457 | There's a new $20 show cessation fee. | 1.3162 | 0.05903 | 117 | 91 | 15 | 11 |
458 | Before I perform my next trick, do we have any doctors on board? | 1.3162 | 0.04953 | 117 | 84 | 29 | 4 |
459 | And for our next trick, on time departure! | 1.3158 | 0.05476 | 114 | 85 | 22 | 7 |
460 | Now close your eyes and levitate!" | 1.3158 | 0.05048 | 133 | 99 | 26 | 8 |
461 | And for my next trick, I'll make customer service disappear. | 1.3154 | 0.04888 | 130 | 95 | 29 | 6 |
462 | More leg-room? Close your eyes, think it, you got it. | 1.3154 | 0.05354 | 130 | 99 | 21 | 10 |
463 | Upgrade anyone ? | 1.3153 | 0.05274 | 111 | 81 | 25 | 5 |
464 | For the first time ever, you will depart and arrive on time | 1.3150 | 0.05208 | 127 | 95 | 24 | 8 |
465 | I'm just the in-flight magician in case someone runs out of tranquilizers or realizes they're in a bad marriage on the way to the Caribbean to renew their vows, not to get too specific. | 1.3150 | 0.05208 | 127 | 95 | 24 | 8 |
466 | This is the captain speaking… | 1.3148 | 0.05527 | 108 | 80 | 22 | 6 |
467 | Tada ! The coffee is good now | 1.3148 | 0.05978 | 108 | 83 | 16 | 9 |
468 | If you are seated in an exit row, please read carefully the special instructions card located behind your ear. | 1.3146 | 0.06311 | 89 | 67 | 16 | 6 |
469 | I will now make food appear! | 1.3145 | 0.05535 | 124 | 95 | 19 | 10 |
470 | Notice that at no time do the wings leave the plane. | 1.3143 | 0.05466 | 105 | 77 | 23 | 5 |
471 | Budget cuts are having a particularly devastating affect on the inflight entertainment | 1.3143 | 0.04871 | 140 | 104 | 28 | 8 |
472 | More leg room? Let me saw you in half. | 1.3137 | 0.05570 | 102 | 75 | 22 | 5 |
473 | In the event of a water landing, the quarter behind your ear can be used as a flotation device. | 1.3136 | 0.05476 | 118 | 89 | 21 | 8 |
474 | And now watch me shrink the size of your leg room. | 1.3136 | 0.05064 | 118 | 86 | 27 | 5 |
475 | Your wish is granted, the child will be stowed in the overhead | 1.3130 | 0.05841 | 115 | 89 | 16 | 10 |
476 | I can do anything but pull five more inches of leg space out of my hat. | 1.3130 | 0.05147 | 115 | 84 | 26 | 5 |
477 | Your two hour delay will fly by | 1.3130 | 0.05435 | 115 | 86 | 22 | 7 |
478 | For my next death-defying trick, I’ll put on someone else’s mask before my own. | 1.3130 | 0.04734 | 131 | 95 | 31 | 5 |
479 | With my next trick I’ll make the last of the legroom disappear! | 1.3130 | 0.05093 | 131 | 98 | 25 | 8 |
480 | I'd better get back to the cockpit. My co-pilot is a newbie. | 1.3125 | 0.05629 | 128 | 100 | 16 | 12 |
481 | And for my final trick, I'll need a volunteer to get bumped from this flight. | 1.3120 | 0.04740 | 125 | 90 | 31 | 4 |
482 | What shall miraculously appear is a half-can your favorite drink, and a small bag of trail mix. | 1.3120 | 0.04740 | 125 | 90 | 31 | 4 |
483 | and now I will attempt to fly | 1.3119 | 0.05636 | 109 | 82 | 20 | 7 |
484 | our in-flight entertainment budget has been cut, so without further ado…… | 1.3116 | 0.05325 | 138 | 107 | 19 | 12 |
485 | …and your luggage is now gone! | 1.3115 | 0.05085 | 122 | 90 | 26 | 6 |
486 | For my next trick, I require someone with no fear of heights and non-slip shoes | 1.3115 | 0.05712 | 122 | 95 | 16 | 11 |
487 | Surprise!!! Your destination has been changed to Mauna Loa | 1.3113 | 0.05586 | 106 | 79 | 21 | 6 |
488 | Coffee, Tea or Rabbit Stew? | 1.3113 | 0.05080 | 106 | 76 | 27 | 3 |
489 | Ear pop, anyone?” | 1.3113 | 0.05423 | 106 | 78 | 23 | 5 |
490 | If we distract passengers in flight, they don't notice we took away two more inches of leg room. | 1.3109 | 0.05167 | 119 | 88 | 25 | 6 |
491 | While I cannot give you more legroom, I can shorten your legs to make you fit. Any takers? | 1.3109 | 0.05566 | 119 | 91 | 19 | 9 |
492 | And if you don't put your tray tables up and your seats back in the full upright position, I will make your luggage disappear. | 1.3107 | 0.05694 | 103 | 77 | 20 | 6 |
493 | Why, if a Comedian can be a President, I can be your Pilot! | 1.3107 | 0.05694 | 103 | 77 | 20 | 6 |
494 | And POOF! You get an up charge! You get an up charge! You get an up charge! | 1.3107 | 0.06175 | 103 | 80 | 14 | 9 |
495 | That's why we're called "Out of Thin Air." | 1.3103 | 0.04961 | 116 | 84 | 28 | 4 |
496 | With a wave of my wand you will imagine having the best in-flight dining experience! | 1.3103 | 0.05254 | 116 | 86 | 24 | 6 |
497 | If you say the magic word before leaving JFK, you’ll land at LAX with three more hours in the day. | 1.3103 | 0.05040 | 145 | 111 | 23 | 11 |
498 | Unknown to reporters, disappearing wasn't the only trick D.B.Cooper performed that day. | 1.3103 | 0.05110 | 116 | 85 | 26 | 5 |
499 | Watch as I make your faith in the airline industry disappear! | 1.3103 | 0.05532 | 116 | 88 | 20 | 8 |
500 | For my next trick I will saw someone from coach in half. | 1.3103 | 0.06050 | 116 | 92 | 12 | 12 |
501 | All together now...A hundred bottles of beer on the wall... | 1.3097 | 0.05491 | 113 | 85 | 21 | 7 |
502 | I thought airlines got rid of the nuts. | 1.3097 | 0.05633 | 113 | 86 | 19 | 8 |
503 | And now, I will make your legroom disappear! | 1.3091 | 0.05739 | 110 | 84 | 18 | 8 |
504 | And just like that, anybody who doesn't follow instructions will be turned into a toad. | 1.3091 | 0.04959 | 110 | 79 | 28 | 3 |
505 | As you will soon find out, the Bermuda Triangle really is magic. | 1.3089 | 0.05307 | 123 | 93 | 22 | 8 |
506 | I’m sorry sir, but I cannot make the toddler disappear. | 1.3084 | 0.05999 | 107 | 83 | 15 | 9 |
507 | In case of an emergency, click your heels three times…. | 1.3083 | 0.05650 | 120 | 93 | 17 | 10 |
508 | Pick an emergency exit. Any emergency exit. | 1.3083 | 0.05525 | 120 | 92 | 19 | 9 |
509 | Mechanical issues. No problem! | 1.3077 | 0.05491 | 117 | 89 | 20 | 8 |
510 | Read the fine print - I'm the penalty for not upgrading | 1.3077 | 0.05753 | 117 | 91 | 16 | 10 |
511 | And now for my next trick, I will make your onboard meal delicious. | 1.3077 | 0.04613 | 130 | 94 | 32 | 4 |
512 | …and whoopty — your leg space is gone! | 1.3077 | 0.05552 | 130 | 102 | 16 | 12 |
513 | Yes it is magic. Your friendly, and helpful flight attendant will serve you a hot, tasty meal with complementary wine or cocktails. The people in first class will have a choice of stale pretzels or stale peanuts. Thank you for flying on Magic Air. | 1.3070 | 0.05449 | 114 | 86 | 21 | 7 |
514 | Pilot was my second choice | 1.3070 | 0.04846 | 114 | 82 | 29 | 3 |
515 | Poof! The illusion of legroom! | 1.3070 | 0.05727 | 114 | 88 | 17 | 9 |
516 | No worries about the pilot shortage. It's a magical mystery flight. | 1.3069 | 0.05758 | 101 | 76 | 19 | 6 |
517 | I will now make the backbones of the parents whose child is kicking the back of your seat magically reappear! | 1.3069 | 0.06092 | 101 | 78 | 15 | 8 |
518 | Anyone still needs to fit something into the overhead bin? | 1.3069 | 0.05583 | 101 | 75 | 21 | 5 |
519 | And for our last trick today in 'Basic Restricted Economy,' we'll remove whatever's left of your human dignity. | 1.3065 | 0.05513 | 124 | 96 | 18 | 10 |
520 | Watch me pull a rabbit out of the overhead bin. | 1.3063 | 0.05694 | 111 | 85 | 18 | 8 |
521 | Our scheduled departure time is just an illusion | 1.3063 | 0.05694 | 111 | 85 | 18 | 8 |
522 | And my final trick will be to land on time. | 1.3061 | 0.05694 | 98 | 73 | 20 | 5 |
523 | If that child in 2E becomes a problem, I will happily make her disappear. | 1.3056 | 0.05803 | 108 | 83 | 17 | 8 |
524 | Alrighty, let’s see if we can get this baby off the ground. | 1.3056 | 0.05652 | 108 | 82 | 19 | 7 |
525 | And now let's make a pilot appear | 1.3056 | 0.05172 | 108 | 79 | 25 | 4 |
526 | During the pilot shortage we are helping | 1.3047 | 0.05029 | 128 | 96 | 25 | 7 |
527 | And as we land here in Denver, your bags will be in...Barcelona! | 1.3043 | 0.05946 | 115 | 91 | 13 | 11 |
528 | And for our last trick before take off, we will make all your luggage disappear! | 1.3043 | 0.05119 | 115 | 85 | 25 | 5 |
529 | Remember to unfasten your seat belts prior to the standing ovation.” | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
530 | And for my next trick, I’m going to delay our departure for another hour | 1.3039 | 0.05877 | 102 | 78 | 17 | 7 |
531 | We call it the Cinderella Experience. You're family is now in coach. | 1.3038 | 0.07059 | 79 | 62 | 10 | 7 |
532 | Hi folks, I just wanted to introduce myself, your baggage handler. | 1.3037 | 0.05073 | 135 | 103 | 23 | 9 |
533 | And now, to distract you from the pilot strike. | 1.3036 | 0.05649 | 112 | 86 | 18 | 8 |
534 | And when you wake up, you'll be in Milwaukee! | 1.3033 | 0.05320 | 122 | 93 | 21 | 8 |
535 | Coach gets the mime. | 1.3030 | 0.05644 | 99 | 74 | 20 | 5 |
536 | In the event of cabin pressure loss, oxygen masks will magically appear | 1.3028 | 0.05902 | 109 | 85 | 15 | 9 |
537 | No, I'm a magician on board. And you're now a pilot. | 1.3028 | 0.05453 | 109 | 82 | 21 | 6 |
538 | I’ve just been sent to make sure everyone is equally annoyed this flight. | 1.3028 | 0.05453 | 109 | 82 | 21 | 6 |
539 | Poof! You won't feel the kid behind you kicking your seat or hear her screaming the whole way there!! | 1.3028 | 0.05607 | 109 | 83 | 19 | 7 |
540 | Even our magician can't make you believe your seats are bigger, there's going to be food or that we'll be on time. | 1.3025 | 0.05411 | 119 | 91 | 20 | 8 |
541 | I did it to your free meals and your leg room, so don't make me use this thing on what little dignity you have left! | 1.3025 | 0.05541 | 119 | 92 | 18 | 9 |
542 | And presto, your extra legroom has disappeared, but it can be restored for an additional fee. | 1.3023 | 0.05459 | 129 | 101 | 17 | 11 |
543 | Say the magic word - or I'll send your luggage to Boise! | 1.3019 | 0.05390 | 106 | 79 | 22 | 5 |
544 | 'And for my next trick, I will make you all comfortable with plenty of leg room, overhead luggage locker space and arrival at the advertised time.' | 1.3017 | 0.05506 | 116 | 89 | 19 | 8 |
545 | You can ask me for anything but more legroom. | 1.3015 | 0.05040 | 136 | 104 | 23 | 9 |
546 | Okay - who’s feeling grumpy today? | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
547 | There is an additional fee of $35 per passenger for me to stop doing magic tricks on this flight. Otherwise, make sure your seat belts are buckled low & tight across your waist, and your tray table is in its upright and locked position and we are ready to depart. | 1.3010 | 0.05827 | 103 | 79 | 17 | 7 |
548 | I promise you, if the child behind you kicks the seat again, I will make it disappear. | 1.3009 | 0.05463 | 113 | 86 | 20 | 7 |
549 | I only do levitation tricks. | 1.3009 | 0.05606 | 113 | 87 | 18 | 8 |
550 | And for my next trick... a three-hour delay! | 1.3009 | 0.05463 | 113 | 86 | 20 | 7 |
551 | And now, with a wave of my wand, you will have landed, happy and in good spirits. | 1.3009 | 0.05606 | 113 | 87 | 18 | 8 |
552 | Welcome aboard, ladies and gentlemen. I'm the Pied Piper, and I'll be your flight attendant till the captain finds out. | 1.3008 | 0.05407 | 123 | 95 | 19 | 9 |
553 | ...and now for my final trick: the biggest levitation act you ever saw! | 1.3008 | 0.05407 | 123 | 95 | 19 | 9 |
554 | And now for my next trick, I will make the complimentary snacks and beverages for purchase only! | 1.3008 | 0.04889 | 133 | 100 | 26 | 7 |
555 | When I count to three you will all have six more inches of leg room. | 1.3000 | 0.05500 | 120 | 93 | 18 | 9 |
556 | For my next trick, I’ll make your checked luggage disappear! | 1.3000 | 0.05563 | 110 | 84 | 19 | 7 |
557 | Pick a landing site; any landing site | 1.3000 | 0.05254 | 110 | 82 | 23 | 5 |
558 | And for my final trick, I'll make your leg room disappear. | 1.3000 | 0.05254 | 110 | 82 | 23 | 5 |
559 | And for my next trick...LEGROOM! | 1.3000 | 0.06133 | 110 | 88 | 11 | 11 |
560 | This magic reduces yiur legroom by 50% without you noticing. | 1.3000 | 0.05104 | 120 | 90 | 24 | 6 |
561 | Presto chango…your luggage has disappeared! | 1.2992 | 0.04784 | 127 | 94 | 28 | 5 |
562 | And now,for an absolutely magical landing !!! | 1.2991 | 0.05044 | 117 | 87 | 25 | 5 |
563 | Want me to make that child behind you go away? | 1.2991 | 0.05328 | 117 | 89 | 21 | 7 |
564 | And now watch me pull an emotional support animal out of my hat. | 1.2991 | 0.05667 | 107 | 82 | 18 | 7 |
565 | Hello, I'm Kyle and I'm here to make sure all of you have a truly magical flight to Kenosha, Wisconsin. | 1.2990 | 0.05892 | 97 | 74 | 17 | 6 |
566 | And for next trick.. turbulence. Tada! | 1.2990 | 0.05707 | 97 | 73 | 19 | 5 |
567 | And in the unlikely event of a water landing, I will part the seas. | 1.2984 | 0.05489 | 124 | 97 | 17 | 10 |
568 | For my next trick, I will make your baggage disappear upon landing, | 1.2982 | 0.05276 | 114 | 86 | 22 | 6 |
569 | There you go! Middle seat gone. | 1.2979 | 0.05825 | 94 | 71 | 18 | 5 |
570 | Ta Da !!! You two have been upgraded to first class !! | 1.2975 | 0.05202 | 121 | 92 | 22 | 7 |
571 | ...and for my next trick, I will make three more inches of your leg room disappear! | 1.2973 | 0.05665 | 111 | 86 | 17 | 8 |
572 | As long as I keep waving this wand, it won't matter that both of the plane's engines have failed. | 1.2973 | 0.05519 | 111 | 85 | 19 | 7 |
573 | Now for the safety measures the first-class passengers get | 1.2973 | 0.05054 | 111 | 82 | 25 | 4 |
574 | The in-flight meal choices are dove or rabbit. | 1.2973 | 0.05665 | 111 | 86 | 17 | 8 |
575 | Drizzle drazzle druzzle drone may your luggage find your home. | 1.2973 | 0.05947 | 111 | 88 | 13 | 10 |
576 | For my next trick, I will make that screaming baby disappear. | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
577 | Presto chango - you now believe you have legroom | 1.2969 | 0.05245 | 128 | 99 | 20 | 9 |
578 | For my next trick I will cause the captain to begin announcements as soon as you fall asleep. | 1.2969 | 0.05005 | 128 | 97 | 24 | 7 |
579 | And for my next trick, I’ll fit your carry-on bag into this overhead compartment! | 1.2966 | 0.05150 | 118 | 89 | 23 | 6 |
580 | And for my next trick, the airline will make your luggage disappear! | 1.2963 | 0.05622 | 108 | 83 | 18 | 7 |
581 | Now watch how I magically make your attention disappear while I go over safety instructions. | 1.2963 | 0.05305 | 108 | 81 | 22 | 5 |
582 | Todays inflight service will be rabbit. | 1.2960 | 0.04955 | 125 | 94 | 25 | 6 |
583 | Watch very closely now and you will see the impossible . . . a smooth landing on time followed by all your luggage on a carousel within ten minutes! | 1.2959 | 0.05840 | 98 | 75 | 17 | 6 |
584 | Poof! A three hour delay. | 1.2959 | 0.06017 | 98 | 76 | 15 | 7 |
585 | But first, before we bring out the ukulelles. | 1.2959 | 0.06017 | 98 | 76 | 15 | 7 |
586 | Due to staffing issues, I’ll be serving as both your pilot and inflight entertainment. | 1.2957 | 0.05236 | 115 | 87 | 22 | 6 |
587 | And for my next trick, I will make your legroom disappear. | 1.2952 | 0.05400 | 105 | 79 | 21 | 5 |
588 | My rabbit was confiscated by the TSA. | 1.2952 | 0.05887 | 105 | 82 | 15 | 8 |
589 | Say the magic words and I''ll land this plane | 1.2952 | 0.05400 | 105 | 79 | 21 | 5 |
590 | Where's our free ukuleles? | 1.2947 | 0.05772 | 95 | 72 | 18 | 5 |
591 | ... and as you can see, the baby has magically shut up for the first time in the last 4hrs! | 1.2947 | 0.05962 | 95 | 73 | 16 | 6 |
592 | First, I want to apologize for making the pilot and co-pilot disappear. | 1.2946 | 0.05621 | 112 | 87 | 17 | 8 |
593 | Being on time? Now that would be real magic. | 1.2946 | 0.05900 | 112 | 89 | 13 | 10 |
594 | My true passion is magic; but don't worry, my co-pilot is very good. | 1.2941 | 0.05642 | 119 | 94 | 15 | 10 |
595 | We are out of peanuts, will you settle for a rabbit? | 1.2941 | 0.05113 | 119 | 90 | 23 | 6 |
596 | "I will now make this flight more enjoyable by making myself disappear." | 1.2941 | 0.05322 | 102 | 76 | 22 | 4 |
597 | I'm not just any fly-by-night magician. | 1.2941 | 0.05675 | 102 | 78 | 18 | 6 |
598 | I am the captain‘s nephew Jerome! Please feel free to post this on social media! #MagicInTheSkies | 1.2941 | 0.05501 | 102 | 77 | 20 | 5 |
599 | This flight is canceled, but I have an awesome magic show for you. | 1.2941 | 0.06007 | 102 | 80 | 14 | 8 |
600 | We added in-flight entertainment. | 1.2936 | 0.05099 | 109 | 81 | 24 | 4 |
601 | I will now levitate you to 30,000 feet above the ground. | 1.2936 | 0.05576 | 109 | 84 | 18 | 7 |
602 | They send me on every Boeing 737 Max flight, just in case... | 1.2929 | 0.05420 | 99 | 74 | 21 | 4 |
603 | And for my next trick, I've changed your arrival time from 5pm to 11pm! | 1.2929 | 0.05607 | 99 | 75 | 19 | 5 |
604 | Unfortunately, my last trick made your checked baggage disappear... | 1.2927 | 0.05128 | 123 | 94 | 22 | 7 |
605 | And when I snap my fingers, you’ll all behave nicely for the entire flight. | 1.2925 | 0.05356 | 106 | 80 | 21 | 5 |
606 | Items in the overhead bin will not shift,the child behind you will be silent,and all the food will be stunningly delicious. | 1.2925 | 0.05682 | 106 | 82 | 17 | 7 |
607 | And now, a few tricks to help pass the six hours on the runway! | 1.2925 | 0.05522 | 106 | 81 | 19 | 6 |
608 | And.... Presto! You don't have a crying baby kicking your seat for 3 hours | 1.2925 | 0.05682 | 106 | 82 | 17 | 7 |
609 | And now I’ll try to conjure up a good meal. | 1.2923 | 0.04938 | 130 | 99 | 24 | 7 |
610 | For my next trick, would you like me to pull peanuts or pretzels from my hat? | 1.2920 | 0.05134 | 113 | 85 | 23 | 5 |
611 | Now watch while I make your legroom disappear. | 1.2920 | 0.05286 | 113 | 86 | 21 | 6 |
612 | Now for my next trick, I'll place six mini pretzels in a bag and make you think it's a snack! | 1.2917 | 0.05076 | 120 | 91 | 23 | 6 |
613 | Three inches of legroom will now magically disappear. | 1.2917 | 0.05076 | 120 | 91 | 23 | 6 |
614 | Watch as I make your in-flight meal disappear! | 1.2917 | 0.05322 | 96 | 71 | 22 | 3 |
615 | And for my next trick I will saw all of you in half, due to this flight being overbooked! 🎩 ✈️ 🪄 | 1.2917 | 0.05908 | 96 | 74 | 16 | 6 |
616 | Observe, while I sanitize the cabin air with my magic wand! | 1.2913 | 0.05374 | 127 | 100 | 17 | 10 |
617 | Pick a runway. Any runway. | 1.2913 | 0.05278 | 103 | 77 | 22 | 4 |
618 | Now that we've passed through 10,000 feet, we'd like to begin our in-flight entertainment. | 1.2910 | 0.05171 | 134 | 105 | 19 | 10 |
619 | Life is an illusion and I am your pilot. | 1.2909 | 0.05532 | 110 | 85 | 18 | 7 |
620 | Yes, getting 90 tons of metal flying is a neat trick. | 1.2909 | 0.05379 | 110 | 84 | 20 | 6 |
621 | And just like that, the service cart has disappeared for the remainder of the flight! | 1.2909 | 0.05681 | 110 | 86 | 16 | 8 |
622 | Presto! No middle seat! | 1.2909 | 0.05059 | 110 | 82 | 24 | 4 |
623 | And for my next trick, we will arrive on schedule. | 1.2909 | 0.04892 | 110 | 81 | 26 | 3 |
624 | Abracadabra! All persons in the middle seats have disappeared. | 1.2909 | 0.05059 | 110 | 82 | 24 | 4 |
625 | For my next trick, I will land the plane | 1.2909 | 0.05532 | 110 | 85 | 18 | 7 |
626 | Unfortunately giving you more leg room is beyond my abilities. | 1.2909 | 0.05681 | 110 | 86 | 16 | 8 |
627 | And now the last two hours on the ground will magically disappear. | 1.2906 | 0.05300 | 117 | 90 | 20 | 7 |
628 | It helps you find your luggage | 1.2903 | 0.05838 | 93 | 71 | 17 | 5 |
629 | Our inflight snacks are magically delicious. | 1.2903 | 0.05423 | 93 | 69 | 21 | 3 |
630 | Everyone in first class gets one wish | 1.2903 | 0.05838 | 93 | 71 | 17 | 5 |
631 | Now look down to find your leg room has completely disappeared! | 1.2903 | 0.05465 | 124 | 98 | 16 | 10 |
632 | .... a little entertainment .. its only about a 12 hour delay | 1.2900 | 0.05374 | 100 | 75 | 21 | 4 |
633 | Delta told me to use the autopilot. I gotta fill the time somehow! | 1.2897 | 0.06230 | 107 | 87 | 9 | 11 |
634 | There is no magic in business class. | 1.2897 | 0.05790 | 107 | 84 | 15 | 8 |
635 | We don't call this Spirit Airline for nothing. | 1.2897 | 0.05477 | 107 | 82 | 19 | 6 |
636 | OK, I bet I can tell you where we are landing, does anyone want to make a guess" | 1.2897 | 0.05145 | 107 | 80 | 23 | 4 |
637 | Ta-da! Your carry-on now fits in the overhead bin. | 1.2895 | 0.05246 | 114 | 87 | 21 | 6 |
638 | For my next trick we will take off on time. | 1.2887 | 0.05276 | 97 | 72 | 22 | 3 |
639 | Illusions? Why yes! Like magic: extra seatroom | 1.2887 | 0.05855 | 97 | 75 | 16 | 6 |
640 | lets all sing the flight delay song | 1.2885 | 0.06213 | 104 | 84 | 10 | 10 |
641 | For my next trick, I will make your leg space disappear! | 1.2883 | 0.05635 | 111 | 87 | 16 | 8 |
642 | I can grant any wish—except get you into first class. | 1.2883 | 0.05488 | 111 | 86 | 18 | 7 |
643 | How else do you think this shit works? | 1.2883 | 0.05020 | 111 | 83 | 24 | 4 |
644 | And now, I will make your wi-fi disappear before your very eyes. | 1.2881 | 0.04977 | 118 | 89 | 24 | 5 |
645 | In lieu of food, drink, and comfort, we now offer live entertainment! | 1.2874 | 0.05400 | 87 | 64 | 21 | 2 |
646 | This is why I fly First Class. | 1.2874 | 0.05642 | 87 | 65 | 19 | 3 |
647 | We'll be taking off just as soon as I can find my keys." | 1.2872 | 0.05583 | 94 | 71 | 19 | 4 |
648 | My best trick is landing this plane! | 1.2872 | 0.05784 | 94 | 72 | 17 | 5 |
649 | For my next trick --- peanuts! | 1.2872 | 0.05784 | 94 | 72 | 17 | 5 |
650 | There’s magic in the air | 1.2871 | 0.06026 | 101 | 80 | 13 | 8 |
651 | Lose the wand, lose the hat, get the drink cart. | 1.2871 | 0.05859 | 101 | 79 | 15 | 7 |
652 | Voila, your luggage is magically elsewhere. | 1.2871 | 0.05328 | 101 | 76 | 21 | 4 |
653 | For my biggest and most daring illusion yet, I will disappear for the remainder of this spirit airlines flight! | 1.2871 | 0.05511 | 101 | 77 | 19 | 5 |
654 | Now I will make your luggage disappear! | 1.2870 | 0.05589 | 108 | 84 | 17 | 7 |
655 | And just like that……your flight will be delayed by five hours. | 1.2870 | 0.05432 | 108 | 83 | 19 | 6 |
656 | Now watch me make your luggage disappear when you disembark. | 1.2870 | 0.05589 | 108 | 84 | 17 | 7 |
657 | Your baggage will magically reappear three hours after you land! | 1.2870 | 0.05350 | 115 | 89 | 19 | 7 |
658 | In lieu of in-flight video, please enjoy my one-man interpretation of 'Harry Potter and the Cursed Child' ... | 1.2857 | 0.05146 | 126 | 98 | 20 | 8 |
659 | Watch, as I turn 1 hour on the tarmac into 3! | 1.2857 | 0.05141 | 112 | 85 | 22 | 5 |
660 | So much for that crying baby. | 1.2857 | 0.05222 | 119 | 92 | 20 | 7 |
661 | Welcome to Southwest, The Musical. | 1.2857 | 0.04818 | 112 | 83 | 26 | 3 |
662 | And presto! We depart on time! | 1.2857 | 0.05802 | 98 | 76 | 16 | 6 |
663 | There now,you don’t feel leg cramps at all, do you? | 1.2857 | 0.05295 | 112 | 86 | 20 | 6 |
664 | See how my fingers never serve alcohol in economy class. | 1.2857 | 0.05591 | 112 | 88 | 16 | 8 |
665 | And now, for a small service charge, I will make your luggage reappear. | 1.2857 | 0.05427 | 98 | 74 | 20 | 4 |
666 | I need one lucky volunteer to assist the pilot in landing the plane. | 1.2857 | 0.05696 | 105 | 82 | 16 | 7 |
667 | For my next trick, the plane will levitate 30,000 feet once we’re cleared for takeoff. | 1.2857 | 0.05906 | 91 | 70 | 16 | 5 |
668 | Surprise! Detroit's not worth your time, but you'll love Dublin. | 1.2857 | 0.05802 | 98 | 76 | 16 | 6 |
669 | This magic wand will transport you to a time when we cared | 1.2845 | 0.05167 | 116 | 89 | 21 | 6 |
670 | For my next trick we’ll arrive on time. | 1.2845 | 0.05020 | 116 | 88 | 23 | 5 |
671 | And for my next track I will prevent this airplane from taking off for another two hours. | 1.2844 | 0.04716 | 109 | 80 | 27 | 2 |
672 | Now watch the middle armrest disappear! | 1.2844 | 0.05389 | 109 | 84 | 19 | 6 |
673 | With autopilot, I'm free to entertain about the cabin. | 1.2843 | 0.05808 | 102 | 80 | 15 | 7 |
674 | You will fall asleep for the next 3 hours and arrive at your destination rested and relaxed. Just kidding. | 1.2843 | 0.05283 | 102 | 77 | 21 | 4 |
675 | And, voila — YOU are free to move about the cabin. | 1.2843 | 0.05639 | 102 | 79 | 17 | 6 |
676 | At a wave of my magic wand, you will all have to use the rest room immediately. | 1.2843 | 0.05096 | 102 | 76 | 23 | 3 |
677 | By waving this magic wand, I can actually get you to watch me as I demonstrate how to buckle a seat belt and wear an oxygen mask. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
678 | You can ask for anything but leg room | 1.2841 | 0.06036 | 88 | 68 | 15 | 5 |
679 | If you were a real magician we would have already taken off. | 1.2841 | 0.06036 | 88 | 68 | 15 | 5 |
680 | And for basic economy, please enjoy our in-flight mime. | 1.2833 | 0.05183 | 120 | 93 | 20 | 7 |
681 | For my next trick I will saw your leg room in half! | 1.2832 | 0.05547 | 113 | 89 | 16 | 8 |
682 | And for the in-flight meal, the choices are pasta or rabbit! | 1.2832 | 0.05102 | 113 | 86 | 22 | 5 |
683 | Don't worry, the planes on auto pilot. | 1.2830 | 0.05487 | 106 | 82 | 18 | 6 |
684 | Now close your eyes for two hours, then look out the window again! | 1.2830 | 0.05487 | 106 | 82 | 18 | 6 |
685 | Watch as your patience with everyone around you slowly disappears. | 1.2830 | 0.05321 | 106 | 81 | 20 | 5 |
686 | I can change your pretzels to a full course meal.” | 1.2830 | 0.05321 | 106 | 81 | 20 | 5 |
687 | Would you like me to make the pilot reappear? | 1.2828 | 0.05568 | 99 | 76 | 18 | 5 |
688 | I'm your pilot and this is my control stick. | 1.2828 | 0.05568 | 99 | 76 | 18 | 5 |
689 | Heckle me again and I can turn you into a 3-year-old too. | 1.2828 | 0.05568 | 99 | 76 | 18 | 5 |
690 | For my next trick, we’re going to make all your luggage disappear | 1.2828 | 0.05185 | 99 | 74 | 22 | 3 |
691 | So, would you believe that I can now open the bin and your items will be exactly as you stored them? | 1.2828 | 0.05380 | 99 | 75 | 20 | 4 |
692 | Next stop, childlike wonderment and joy. | 1.2826 | 0.05850 | 92 | 71 | 16 | 5 |
693 | Just close your eyes, tap your heels three times and say I wish I was already home, I wish I was already home, i wish I was already home. | 1.2821 | 0.05543 | 117 | 93 | 15 | 9 |
694 | For my next trick, this flight will depart on time. | 1.2821 | 0.05408 | 117 | 92 | 17 | 8 |
695 | For the right price, I can create more leg room out of thin air. | 1.2821 | 0.05408 | 117 | 92 | 17 | 8 |
696 | For my next trick, all the infants will disappear. | 1.2821 | 0.05128 | 117 | 90 | 21 | 6 |
697 | Abracadabra, you will all be silent and courteous passengers for the remainder of the flight. | 1.2818 | 0.05187 | 110 | 84 | 21 | 5 |
698 | Now I need a volunteer for the disappearing luggage trick. | 1.2818 | 0.05500 | 110 | 86 | 17 | 7 |
699 | Just put your seat back and relax for a spell. | 1.2818 | 0.05187 | 110 | 84 | 21 | 5 |
700 | Complimentary in-flight entertainment | 1.2818 | 0.05187 | 110 | 84 | 21 | 5 |
701 | And for our next trick, you'll notice that two of our engines have disappeared. | 1.2816 | 0.05590 | 103 | 80 | 17 | 6 |
702 | Shazamm! You’re in first class | 1.2816 | 0.05239 | 103 | 78 | 21 | 4 |
703 | And voila! You now have half an inch of additional leg room! | 1.2816 | 0.05054 | 103 | 77 | 23 | 3 |
704 | Oh, I'll get back to flying the plane in a minute, but first a little entertainment. | 1.2816 | 0.05758 | 103 | 81 | 15 | 7 |
705 | Airbracadabra - we’ll be on time if you believe it | 1.2812 | 0.05678 | 96 | 74 | 17 | 5 |
706 | And when we land, all the luggage you were required to gate check will have appeared in the overhead compartments | 1.2812 | 0.05482 | 96 | 73 | 19 | 4 |
707 | For my next trick I need a volunteer who has no fear of heights. | 1.2812 | 0.06052 | 96 | 76 | 13 | 7 |
708 | This isn't the safety speech. | 1.2812 | 0.05678 | 96 | 74 | 17 | 5 |
709 | Magic wand for purchase? | 1.2812 | 0.05482 | 96 | 73 | 19 | 4 |
710 | At least one passenger's luggage will disappear, but I won't say who. | 1.2810 | 0.05278 | 121 | 95 | 18 | 8 |
711 | . . . and POOF, just like that, you'll be served real food on real dishware. | 1.2810 | 0.05010 | 121 | 93 | 22 | 6 |
712 | And like magic, you have 2 more inches of leg room. | 1.2809 | 0.05051 | 89 | 65 | 23 | 1 |
713 | And now dinner service! Do you prefer rabbit or dove? | 1.2809 | 0.05977 | 89 | 69 | 15 | 5 |
714 | Prepare to be amazed, in the exceedingly unlikely event that your luggage appears at the carousel! | 1.2809 | 0.06187 | 89 | 70 | 13 | 6 |
715 | As if by magic, your bags were sent hither and yon to crowded yet remote locations that will appear some future day on your mobile app if properly updated. Remember, we thanked you, not your luggage, for flying with us. | 1.2807 | 0.05779 | 114 | 92 | 12 | 10 |
716 | The meal choices are rabbit or pigeon | 1.2807 | 0.05063 | 114 | 87 | 22 | 5 |
717 | When I snap my fingers you will awaken and only remember that it was a great flight! | 1.2804 | 0.05442 | 107 | 83 | 18 | 6 |
718 | In lieu of in-flight service, one lucky passenger may pull a snack from my hat. | 1.2804 | 0.05757 | 107 | 85 | 14 | 8 |
719 | And now for our greatest illusion: competence. | 1.2800 | 0.05519 | 100 | 77 | 18 | 5 |
720 | And, presto! Your luggage has disappeared. | 1.2800 | 0.04940 | 100 | 74 | 24 | 2 |
721 | For my next trick, ‘Serving snacks on-board that you’ll actually enjoy!’ | 1.2800 | 0.05874 | 100 | 79 | 14 | 7 |
722 | Sit back, relax and enjoy the illusion of great service. | 1.2800 | 0.06044 | 100 | 80 | 12 | 8 |
723 | …and as we descend at an alarming speed, I will now magically transform your seat cushion into a floatation device. | 1.2800 | 0.05874 | 100 | 79 | 14 | 7 |
724 | Watch as I pull a two hour delay out of nowhere! | 1.2800 | 0.05519 | 100 | 77 | 18 | 5 |
725 | For my next trick, I will be transporting all of you to Mar-A-Lago’s Shred Fest 2022! | 1.2796 | 0.06552 | 93 | 76 | 8 | 9 |
726 | As the captain said, you must obey my every command | 1.2796 | 0.06185 | 93 | 74 | 12 | 7 |
727 | Poof! If you check your carry-ons, you'll find that the contraband items you smuggled past Security have disappeared." | 1.2796 | 0.05795 | 93 | 72 | 16 | 5 |
728 | And now, for the remainder of the flight, I shall disappear. | 1.2796 | 0.05590 | 93 | 71 | 18 | 4 |
729 | and for my next trick I’ll make your carry-on fit in the overhead bin | 1.2793 | 0.05147 | 111 | 85 | 21 | 5 |
730 | Welcome passengers of flight 206 to Las Vegas and thanks to the magic of aviation. I welcome you to Cleveland. | 1.2793 | 0.05147 | 111 | 85 | 21 | 5 |
731 | The clown is in the cockpit. | 1.2793 | 0.05456 | 111 | 87 | 17 | 7 |
732 | For my next act I'll make your checked luggage. disappear. | 1.2788 | 0.05709 | 104 | 82 | 15 | 7 |
733 | And for my next trick, I'm going to make you think you had dinner! | 1.2788 | 0.05543 | 104 | 81 | 17 | 6 |
734 | For my next trick, I'm going to make your seats even smaller. | 1.2788 | 0.05709 | 104 | 82 | 15 | 7 |
735 | I could never have done this before autopilot! | 1.2788 | 0.05870 | 104 | 83 | 13 | 8 |
736 | And POOF ! Your luggage will reappear | 1.2788 | 0.05709 | 104 | 82 | 15 | 7 |
737 | I will now make your luggage disappear. Oh...too late! | 1.2787 | 0.05492 | 122 | 98 | 14 | 10 |
738 | And now, watch me pull a pilot out of my hat. | 1.2785 | 0.06480 | 79 | 62 | 12 | 5 |
739 | Bet you wish you read the fine print on the in-flight entertainment now! | 1.2784 | 0.05627 | 97 | 75 | 17 | 5 |
740 | Unfortunately, the clown is the one flying the plane | 1.2784 | 0.05815 | 97 | 76 | 15 | 6 |
741 | Food; legroom; what else can I make disappear? | 1.2784 | 0.06173 | 97 | 78 | 11 | 8 |
742 | And poof! We lost your luggage! | 1.2784 | 0.05627 | 97 | 75 | 17 | 5 |
743 | And for my next trick, I'll make the pilot reappear. | 1.2784 | 0.05433 | 97 | 74 | 19 | 4 |
744 | At the count of 3, items in the overhead bin will no longer shift. | 1.2784 | 0.05627 | 97 | 75 | 17 | 5 |
745 | Presto, Chango... the items in the overhead bin have shifted during the flight! | 1.2784 | 0.05815 | 97 | 76 | 15 | 6 |
746 | And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how I fly the plane. | 1.2784 | 0.05433 | 97 | 74 | 19 | 4 |
747 | And now what’s left of your leg-room will disappear! | 1.2784 | 0.05815 | 97 | 76 | 15 | 6 |
748 | This is one time nobody will sneak out before I finish my act. | 1.2784 | 0.05433 | 97 | 74 | 19 | 4 |
749 | As your pilot and amateur magician, I’m going to levitate this 220 ton vehicle. | 1.2783 | 0.05024 | 115 | 88 | 22 | 5 |
750 | First class has Beyoncé. | 1.2778 | 0.06126 | 90 | 71 | 13 | 6 |
751 | See? I’m using magic to convince you that if you wear your seat belts you’ll be safer and, if a new variant comes out, I will then magically convince you to wear your masks again! | 1.2778 | 0.04893 | 108 | 81 | 24 | 3 |
752 | You guys are a tough crowd. Not as tough as when I worked Con Air, but still. | 1.2778 | 0.06126 | 90 | 71 | 13 | 6 |
753 | Ta-da! Your legroom has magically vanished. | 1.2778 | 0.05235 | 108 | 83 | 20 | 5 |
754 | One of these days this is definitely going to work. | 1.2778 | 0.05709 | 108 | 86 | 14 | 8 |
755 | If you watch the rest of my safety presentation, I’ll wave my magic wand and return all electronic devices to your hands. | 1.2772 | 0.05288 | 101 | 77 | 20 | 4 |
756 | Be careful when opening the overhead compartment because "shift happens." | 1.2772 | 0.05288 | 101 | 77 | 20 | 4 |
757 | And for my next trick, I will make your food edible. | 1.2772 | 0.05472 | 101 | 78 | 18 | 5 |
758 | Shazam! Only Aisle and Window Seats! | 1.2772 | 0.05288 | 101 | 77 | 20 | 4 |
759 | Watch while I make all signs of comfort disappear! | 1.2772 | 0.05990 | 101 | 81 | 12 | 8 |
760 | And for my next trick, watch closely as your leg room magically disappears. | 1.2772 | 0.05822 | 101 | 80 | 14 | 7 |
761 | Alakazam, alakazoo. A can of coke and some peanuts for you! | 1.2768 | 0.05107 | 112 | 86 | 21 | 5 |
762 | I wish they'd go back to serving wine | 1.2768 | 0.04947 | 112 | 85 | 23 | 4 |
763 | Your seat's not tight, the plane is on time and the pilot didn't party last night. | 1.2768 | 0.05262 | 112 | 87 | 19 | 6 |
764 | Now watch as your last hope of catching that connection disappears | 1.2768 | 0.05107 | 112 | 86 | 21 | 5 |
765 | For my next trick I will magically make your luggage disappear! | 1.2766 | 0.05741 | 94 | 73 | 16 | 5 |
766 | OK. Now I'm going to make your luggage disappear. | 1.2766 | 0.05327 | 94 | 71 | 20 | 3 |
767 | For my next trick I will get the kid behind you to stop kicking your seat back. | 1.2766 | 0.05538 | 94 | 72 | 18 | 4 |
768 | And for my next trick,I will pull more leg room out of my hat! | 1.2762 | 0.05327 | 105 | 81 | 19 | 5 |
769 | For my next feat, I will make the nine planes ahead of us on the runway reappear behind us! | 1.2762 | 0.05496 | 105 | 82 | 17 | 6 |
770 | For my next trick, I'll make complimentary drinks and snacks, as well as all basic human civility, disappear. | 1.2762 | 0.05975 | 105 | 85 | 11 | 9 |
771 | And voila! Your luggage is no longer on this plane. | 1.2762 | 0.05152 | 105 | 80 | 21 | 4 |
772 | If we run out of fuel I have this! | 1.2762 | 0.05152 | 105 | 80 | 21 | 4 |
773 | Yes, it is possible for the seats to get smaller! | 1.2762 | 0.05820 | 105 | 84 | 13 | 8 |
774 | And for our next trick, we are about to turn your seat cushions into a flotation device. | 1.2759 | 0.06049 | 87 | 68 | 14 | 5 |
775 | We have open space in first class and we are moving you up there at no cost. | 1.2759 | 0.06266 | 87 | 69 | 12 | 6 |
776 | I will now demonstrate how in an emergency we can evacuate all 300 of you from the aircraft in the FAA mandated 90 seconds. | 1.2759 | 0.05590 | 87 | 66 | 18 | 3 |
777 | Fasten your seat belts. The mariachi band is next. | 1.2759 | 0.06266 | 87 | 69 | 12 | 6 |
778 | Alakazam, I've changed your steaks into a bag of peanuts. | 1.2759 | 0.06049 | 87 | 68 | 14 | 5 |
779 | And voila, your luggage has disappeared! | 1.2755 | 0.05186 | 98 | 74 | 21 | 3 |
780 | In the case of a water landing, this wand will inflate. | 1.2755 | 0.05762 | 98 | 77 | 15 | 6 |
781 | Welcome to Southwest! | 1.2755 | 0.05762 | 98 | 77 | 15 | 6 |
782 | I'll bet you've always wondered what keeps a plane in the air. | 1.2755 | 0.05762 | 98 | 77 | 15 | 6 |
783 | I want you to think of a number between A10 and A17. | 1.2752 | 0.04855 | 109 | 82 | 24 | 3 |
784 | Repeat after me: "I AM in first class, I WILL leave a good review..." | 1.2752 | 0.05193 | 109 | 84 | 20 | 5 |
785 | Instead of larger seats, voilà, you now have smaller rumps. | 1.2752 | 0.05662 | 109 | 87 | 14 | 8 |
786 | Now I’ll make your bags disappear | 1.2750 | 0.06156 | 80 | 62 | 14 | 4 |
787 | Who says there is no magic in airline travel now? | 1.2750 | 0.05016 | 120 | 93 | 21 | 6 |
788 | Getting the Wi-Fi to work requires a little magic, and five dollars. | 1.2747 | 0.05649 | 91 | 70 | 17 | 4 |
789 | Watch as I make all passenger demands magically disappear. | 1.2747 | 0.06066 | 91 | 72 | 13 | 6 |
790 | Magic makes you forget how small the seat is. | 1.2745 | 0.05601 | 102 | 80 | 16 | 6 |
791 | Now For my next trick I'll make this child disappear. | 1.2745 | 0.05242 | 102 | 78 | 20 | 4 |
792 | Yes, your comfort is an illusion. | 1.2743 | 0.04909 | 113 | 86 | 23 | 4 |
793 | Next, I'll take your legroom and make it appear in first class!" | 1.2743 | 0.05370 | 113 | 89 | 17 | 7 |
794 | Just joking, your luggage disappeared before we took off | 1.2740 | 0.06248 | 73 | 56 | 14 | 3 |
795 | At least my act is first class. | 1.2737 | 0.06068 | 95 | 76 | 12 | 7 |
796 | And with one wave of the wand our seating capacity is doubled! | 1.2737 | 0.05487 | 95 | 73 | 18 | 4 |
797 | And now for a truly amazing feat, your luggage will reappear! | 1.2737 | 0.05881 | 95 | 75 | 14 | 6 |
798 | Now which overhead bin is the pilot in? | 1.2736 | 0.05110 | 106 | 81 | 21 | 4 |
799 | And now for my final trick, I'll make your luggage appear on a different flight | 1.2736 | 0.05451 | 106 | 83 | 17 | 6 |
800 | And just like THAT I made your connecting flight disappear!” | 1.2736 | 0.04931 | 106 | 80 | 23 | 3 |
801 | …and Devon devolves into magic during the third hour of waiting on the tarmac. | 1.2736 | 0.05771 | 106 | 85 | 13 | 8 |
802 | I will now begin your in-flight entertainment. | 1.2735 | 0.04949 | 117 | 90 | 22 | 5 |
803 | Tell me please, who would you like to see disappear first? | 1.2735 | 0.05513 | 117 | 94 | 14 | 9 |
804 | For my next trick I shall make the pilot disappear. | 1.2727 | 0.05766 | 88 | 68 | 16 | 4 |
805 | And, for only $3.99, my next trick will make the WiFi free! | 1.2727 | 0.05766 | 88 | 68 | 16 | 4 |
806 | And now for some real magic, I will make this flight pleasant! | 1.2727 | 0.05151 | 110 | 85 | 20 | 5 |
807 | And now… even MORE legroom! | 1.2727 | 0.05888 | 99 | 79 | 13 | 7 |
808 | Well, we made it to Cleveland. And now for my next trick, we're going to try to land . | 1.2727 | 0.05710 | 99 | 78 | 15 | 6 |
809 | Hi! This is your captain speaking! You're in for a surprise! | 1.2719 | 0.05180 | 114 | 89 | 19 | 6 |
810 | So, now that I've got us up, watch how I bring us down! | 1.2718 | 0.05721 | 103 | 82 | 14 | 7 |
811 | Contents in the overhead bins may shift during the flight ... or may completely disappear! | 1.2718 | 0.05198 | 103 | 79 | 20 | 4 |
812 | In the event of decompression, oxygen masks will appear at the count of $50 | 1.2718 | 0.05721 | 103 | 82 | 14 | 7 |
813 | And now, I will make all of the babies on this flight stop crying at the same time | 1.2718 | 0.05198 | 103 | 79 | 20 | 4 |
814 | And to make the hidden fees reappear… | 1.2717 | 0.06007 | 92 | 73 | 13 | 6 |
815 | Voila! You’ve just been upgraded to Premium Economy! | 1.2717 | 0.05377 | 92 | 70 | 19 | 3 |
816 | And ‘Shazam!’ You’re in First Class, with unlimited champagne cocktails, hors’douvres, and Beef Wellington!’ But wait! I’m also the Amazing Kreskin, and I see you’re a Junk Food Vegan with a gluten intolerance? | 1.2717 | 0.05804 | 92 | 72 | 15 | 5 |
817 | Note that FAA regulations strictly prohibit the use of smoke and mirrors in this act. | 1.2717 | 0.06007 | 92 | 73 | 13 | 6 |
818 | Yes! I am your flight attendant but im also airmagician89 on TikTok, so buckle up! | 1.2717 | 0.06007 | 92 | 73 | 13 | 6 |
819 | And abracadabra, your luggage is going to Akron - while you head for the beautiful vistas of the Grand Canyon! | 1.2710 | 0.05566 | 107 | 85 | 15 | 7 |
820 | Last week he was the opening act in Coach. | 1.2710 | 0.05240 | 107 | 83 | 19 | 5 |
821 | For my next trick, I'll create the illusion that I actually care about you as passengers. | 1.2710 | 0.05405 | 107 | 84 | 17 | 6 |
822 | This section is now declassified | 1.2710 | 0.05240 | 107 | 83 | 19 | 5 |
823 | And Abracadabra, your luggage is in Lagos! | 1.2710 | 0.05405 | 107 | 84 | 17 | 6 |
824 | ...and for my next trick, I'll show you how to abruptly invade the personal space of the person behind you, with just the push of a button! | 1.2708 | 0.05437 | 96 | 74 | 18 | 4 |
825 | I'll bet you've been wondering what keeps this plane up in the air!! | 1.2708 | 0.05231 | 96 | 73 | 20 | 3 |
826 | And for my next trick I’ll make your luggage disappear before we land | 1.2708 | 0.05635 | 96 | 75 | 16 | 5 |
827 | I'm here to tell you the revived Boeing 737 Max you are flying in right now is completely safe. | 1.2708 | 0.05635 | 96 | 75 | 16 | 5 |
828 | Now I will levitate us all 30,000 feet into the air. And if that ain't magic, nothing is. | 1.2706 | 0.05891 | 85 | 66 | 15 | 4 |
829 | Ma’am, I can make only one passenger vanish till landing. Not your toddler AND the man who complained about him. | 1.2706 | 0.06348 | 85 | 68 | 11 | 6 |
830 | I can't make your seat bigger, but I can saw you in half. | 1.2706 | 0.05891 | 85 | 66 | 15 | 4 |
831 | Watch out your windows, please. In a moment with a swirl of my wand I will make the earth recede below us. | 1.2700 | 0.05478 | 100 | 78 | 17 | 5 |
832 | For my next trick I will turn a complimentary meal into a tiny bag of pretzels. | 1.2700 | 0.05291 | 100 | 77 | 19 | 4 |
833 | Abracadabra, your connecting flights are no longer cancelled. | 1.2700 | 0.05660 | 100 | 79 | 15 | 6 |
834 | For my next trick, I'll make this plane leave on time! | 1.2700 | 0.05478 | 100 | 78 | 17 | 5 |
835 | And with the wave of this magic wand, you'll forget all about the eight hour delay we had for this flight. | 1.2700 | 0.05291 | 100 | 77 | 19 | 4 |
836 | Hold your applause until we land. | 1.2700 | 0.05291 | 100 | 77 | 19 | 4 |
837 | ....and I apologise if due to previous customer choice your wish is not available. | 1.2700 | 0.05660 | 100 | 79 | 15 | 6 |
838 | Oh, fuck! | 1.2700 | 0.05835 | 100 | 80 | 13 | 7 |
839 | Now with a flick of the wrist I will make the pilot reappear! | 1.2700 | 0.05660 | 100 | 79 | 15 | 6 |
840 | And now your seat cushion is a flotation device. | 1.2698 | 0.04965 | 126 | 99 | 20 | 7 |
841 | I’d stretch the plane too, but you’d have to pay triple for the extra two inches of legroom. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
842 | Abracadabra Luggage Unshift! | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
843 | Please pull a rabbit out of your hat before helping others do so | 1.2697 | 0.05481 | 89 | 68 | 18 | 3 |
844 | And for my next act: I'll make your child's composure disappear! | 1.2696 | 0.04835 | 115 | 88 | 23 | 4 |
845 | I hope the next act lands better than this one. | 1.2696 | 0.05429 | 115 | 92 | 15 | 8 |
846 | Smile folks. We don't appreciate bad altitude around here. | 1.2692 | 0.04970 | 104 | 79 | 22 | 3 |
847 | And now... for our in-flight entertainment! | 1.2688 | 0.05749 | 93 | 73 | 15 | 5 |
848 | What would you really like to eat on this flight ? | 1.2688 | 0.05749 | 93 | 73 | 15 | 5 |
849 | I'm your Captain. Make a wish, any wish! | 1.2688 | 0.05749 | 93 | 73 | 15 | 5 |
850 | According to the latest air travel consumer report, passengers expect magic amid labor shortages. | 1.2688 | 0.05542 | 93 | 72 | 17 | 4 |
851 | ...and through the wonders of modern air travel we've made your dignity disappear! | 1.2683 | 0.04908 | 123 | 96 | 21 | 6 |
852 | Presto! Your legs are now six inches shorter! | 1.2683 | 0.04908 | 123 | 96 | 21 | 6 |
853 | And just like that, your luggage has disappeared. | 1.2680 | 0.05773 | 97 | 77 | 14 | 6 |
854 | The real trick is that I'm the pilot. | 1.2680 | 0.05584 | 97 | 76 | 16 | 5 |
855 | And now, I shall make your patience and dignity disappear! | 1.2680 | 0.05773 | 97 | 77 | 14 | 6 |
856 | Let me guess, you can only make luggage disappear. | 1.2679 | 0.05227 | 112 | 88 | 18 | 6 |
857 | I may as well tell you now that the "FASTEN SEATBELT" sign will stay on for my entire show. | 1.2674 | 0.05341 | 86 | 65 | 19 | 2 |
858 | A chunk of metal this heavy ain't gonna fly itself. | 1.2674 | 0.06496 | 86 | 70 | 9 | 7 |
859 | Abra Cadabra and there is more leg room with one free suitcase | 1.2674 | 0.06060 | 86 | 68 | 13 | 5 |
860 | And for my next trick the captain will regain consciousness! | 1.2674 | 0.05830 | 86 | 67 | 15 | 4 |
861 | And, ta-da, with our high-density configuration, your comfort disappears. | 1.2674 | 0.06282 | 86 | 69 | 11 | 6 |
862 | On my last flight he made my bags disappear. | 1.2673 | 0.05430 | 101 | 79 | 17 | 5 |
863 | There. Do you have more legroom now? | 1.2673 | 0.05052 | 101 | 77 | 21 | 3 |
864 | . Due to engine failure, we’ll need some volunteers for this next trick! | 1.2673 | 0.05952 | 101 | 82 | 11 | 8 |
865 | Your constructive criticism will be rewarded by (poof) an unattended baby behind you. | 1.2667 | 0.05870 | 90 | 71 | 14 | 5 |
866 | And after me Shaky the Copilot Clown will perform his Turbulence Routine! | 1.2667 | 0.05112 | 105 | 81 | 20 | 4 |
867 | Abracadabra! She won’t kick the back of your seat. | 1.2667 | 0.04984 | 120 | 94 | 20 | 6 |
868 | When you awaken you will remember air travel as pleasant, inexpensive and relaxing. | 1.2667 | 0.06281 | 90 | 73 | 10 | 7 |
869 | And just like that, I’ve made your checked luggage disappear. | 1.2667 | 0.05458 | 105 | 83 | 16 | 6 |
870 | And for our basic economy fliers, the onboard entertainment is...my side hustle! | 1.2667 | 0.05288 | 105 | 82 | 18 | 5 |
871 | For my next trick, I will make meal service completely disappear. | 1.2667 | 0.05257 | 120 | 96 | 16 | 8 |
872 | Watch as I make these towers disappear! | 1.2667 | 0.05428 | 90 | 69 | 18 | 3 |
873 | And voila! Your bags will arrive at the same airport where you will arrive! | 1.2667 | 0.05653 | 90 | 70 | 16 | 4 |
874 | And, yes I am the reason for our emergency landing in Denver. Like magic. | 1.2667 | 0.06281 | 90 | 73 | 10 | 7 |
875 | And now I've made your luggage disappear! | 1.2667 | 0.05870 | 90 | 71 | 14 | 5 |
876 | Beverage? Snack? Make that kid in Row 37 stop bawling? | 1.2667 | 0.06079 | 90 | 72 | 12 | 6 |
877 | Would you like to purchase the in-flight entertainment? | 1.2667 | 0.05784 | 105 | 85 | 12 | 8 |
878 | ...and in conclusion I will also make your food and beverage service disappear. | 1.2667 | 0.05624 | 105 | 84 | 14 | 7 |
879 | The rabbit under you seat can be used as a flotation device. | 1.2661 | 0.05006 | 124 | 98 | 19 | 7 |
880 | ...and when we reach our destination, you'll find that I made your luggage disappear." | 1.2661 | 0.04873 | 124 | 97 | 21 | 6 |
881 | Watch me pull your luggage out of my hat! | 1.2661 | 0.04988 | 109 | 84 | 21 | 4 |
882 | And for my next trick I will land the plane on time! | 1.2661 | 0.05475 | 109 | 87 | 15 | 7 |
883 | And now, to make some fees appear. | 1.2660 | 0.05490 | 94 | 73 | 17 | 4 |
884 | My mother said the world would never accept a magician flight attendant. Who here thinks she was wrong? | 1.2660 | 0.05490 | 94 | 73 | 17 | 4 |
885 | Now, close your eyes everyone and imagine a flight attendant who doesn't hate you. | 1.2660 | 0.05892 | 94 | 75 | 13 | 6 |
886 | For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer from the audience... to give up their seat in exchange for a voucher on a future flight. | 1.2653 | 0.05720 | 98 | 78 | 14 | 6 |
887 | Alright, you folks in the exit row, are you willing and able to be my magical assistants? | 1.2653 | 0.05340 | 98 | 76 | 18 | 4 |
888 | If you lived here you’d be home by now | 1.2651 | 0.06433 | 83 | 67 | 10 | 6 |
889 | And for my next trick I’ll get us a union! | 1.2647 | 0.05561 | 102 | 81 | 15 | 6 |
890 | Unfortunately, the rabbit was confiscated at security. | 1.2647 | 0.05732 | 102 | 82 | 13 | 7 |
891 | Anybody see an escaped rabbit on this plane? | 1.2647 | 0.05383 | 102 | 80 | 17 | 5 |
892 | For my next trick, this flight will land on time at the originally planned destination and all your luggage will appear on the carousel without being lost. | 1.2647 | 0.05383 | 102 | 80 | 17 | 5 |
893 | For my next trick, I will now disappear for the next three hours. | 1.2647 | 0.04812 | 102 | 77 | 23 | 2 |
894 | For my next trick, the miracle of flight! | 1.2647 | 0.05200 | 102 | 79 | 19 | 4 |
895 | Bibbidi-Bobbidi, Alakazam; the child will stop crying in one moment, ma’am! | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
896 | Anyone else want more legroom? | 1.2642 | 0.05069 | 106 | 82 | 20 | 4 |
897 | Everyone needs a side-hustle in this economy. | 1.2637 | 0.05599 | 91 | 71 | 16 | 4 |
898 | The pilots were let go in the last round of budget cuts... | 1.2637 | 0.05813 | 91 | 72 | 14 | 5 |
899 | And for my next trick, I'll be escaping the TSA agent getting up from his seat as we speak. | 1.2637 | 0.05599 | 91 | 71 | 16 | 4 |
900 | And this is how we land planes | 1.2637 | 0.04645 | 91 | 67 | 24 | 0 |
901 | If I saw you in half, you'll fit in your seat-- Presto! | 1.2636 | 0.05582 | 110 | 89 | 13 | 8 |
902 | On the last flight, I shrunk the seats! Now watch as I make your snacks disappear! | 1.2636 | 0.04985 | 129 | 103 | 18 | 8 |
903 | Stay calm! I'm the only member of the flight crew that relies on a magic wand. | 1.2632 | 0.05837 | 95 | 76 | 13 | 6 |
904 | After beverage service I shall make myself disappear. | 1.2632 | 0.05229 | 95 | 73 | 19 | 3 |
905 | Rabbit, roses or almonds, sir? | 1.2632 | 0.05011 | 95 | 72 | 21 | 2 |
906 | And now I'll magically transport your checked luggage to Uzbekistan. | 1.2632 | 0.06208 | 95 | 78 | 9 | 8 |
907 | With a wave of this wand,I shall make you believe that a tiny bag of crackers is a meal! | 1.2632 | 0.05439 | 95 | 74 | 17 | 4 |
908 | In lieu of our projector not working, I'd like to offer you some entertainment for the next three hours. | 1.2626 | 0.05847 | 99 | 80 | 12 | 7 |
909 | Sleep, Sleep, Sleep... | 1.2626 | 0.05668 | 99 | 79 | 14 | 6 |
910 | I thought you said we weren’t flying Southwest | 1.2626 | 0.05668 | 99 | 79 | 14 | 6 |
911 | We just found this part. Anyone know where it goes? | 1.2626 | 0.05668 | 99 | 79 | 14 | 6 |
912 | For my next feat, presto chango, I will make you imagine you are not on a bus. | 1.2626 | 0.05483 | 99 | 78 | 16 | 5 |
913 | We are headed to the Burmuda Triangle. | 1.2621 | 0.05155 | 103 | 80 | 19 | 4 |
914 | And now, for those who upgraded, I will give you the illusion of more leg space! | 1.2621 | 0.05337 | 103 | 81 | 17 | 5 |
915 | No Covid droplets here. | 1.2619 | 0.06364 | 84 | 68 | 10 | 6 |
916 | Abracadabra. You now believe the seats are comfortable, the food is great, the wi-fi works, and the tickets are reasonable. And the bathrooms are not disgusting. | 1.2619 | 0.05388 | 84 | 64 | 18 | 2 |
917 | For my next trick, vanishing leg room! | 1.2619 | 0.05648 | 84 | 65 | 16 | 3 |
918 | Sir, prepare to be blown away... literally. | 1.2619 | 0.05896 | 84 | 66 | 14 | 4 |
919 | Is he really in the cockpit? Are you sure? | 1.2619 | 0.06364 | 84 | 68 | 10 | 6 |
920 | For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer who will accept $200 to be rebooked on a flight that leaves next Tuesday. | 1.2617 | 0.05367 | 107 | 85 | 16 | 6 |
921 | For my next trick we'll be flying into the air on time and landing at JFK without any delays. Thanks for choosing when pigs fly airline | 1.2617 | 0.05367 | 107 | 85 | 16 | 6 |
922 | As part of your in-flight entertainment as we fly to Australia: magic trick number one. Of 3000. | 1.2614 | 0.05713 | 88 | 69 | 15 | 4 |
923 | Abbra Cadabbra! Your seats are now wider, you will receive a free snack and lunch, we will arrive on time and you will make your next flight. Presto Chango! | 1.2614 | 0.05937 | 88 | 70 | 13 | 5 |
924 | For a small gratuity I can even change that seat-kicking kid to a different row. | 1.2614 | 0.05937 | 88 | 70 | 13 | 5 |
925 | I'd like to entertain you unless you're using miles | 1.2614 | 0.05480 | 88 | 68 | 17 | 3 |
926 | Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Booze! | 1.2614 | 0.06153 | 88 | 71 | 11 | 6 |
927 | Hey, Main Cabin, how about a big welcome cheer for the good folks in First and Business! | 1.2614 | 0.05480 | 88 | 68 | 17 | 3 |
928 | More legroom, no! Wider aisle, no! There must be a wish I could fulfill for you! | 1.2614 | 0.05713 | 88 | 69 | 15 | 4 |
929 | OK, and now, with the tip of my wand, masks are...NO LONGER REQUIRED! | 1.2614 | 0.05937 | 88 | 70 | 13 | 5 |
930 | And for my next trick, your luggage disappears! | 1.2609 | 0.06157 | 92 | 75 | 10 | 7 |
931 | And voilà, the lavatory smoke detector is now disabled. | 1.2604 | 0.05589 | 96 | 76 | 15 | 5 |
932 | Abracadabra: First class upgrade. | 1.2604 | 0.05182 | 96 | 74 | 19 | 3 |
933 | And for our next trick, we make both your money and comfort disappear! | 1.2604 | 0.05182 | 96 | 74 | 19 | 3 |
934 | Now, your next service to disappear will be.... | 1.2604 | 0.05782 | 96 | 77 | 13 | 6 |
935 | In the unlikely event of a water landing I will just whip out my magic wand and turn this flying hunk of steel into a Disney Cruise Ship! Please note this may result in a ticketing change fee. | 1.2604 | 0.05589 | 96 | 76 | 15 | 5 |
936 | And in lieu of your in-flight meal....MAGIC !!!!! | 1.2602 | 0.05011 | 123 | 98 | 18 | 7 |
937 | And for my next trick, I’ll give you more than an inch of legroom. | 1.2600 | 0.05617 | 100 | 80 | 14 | 6 |
938 | I need your help. The rabbit got loose. | 1.2600 | 0.05049 | 100 | 77 | 20 | 3 |
939 | Crampacadabra. | 1.2600 | 0.05245 | 100 | 78 | 18 | 4 |
940 | And when we're flying over the Bermuda Triangle, we all say "Abracadabra". | 1.2596 | 0.05465 | 104 | 83 | 15 | 6 |
941 | You won’t believe how close I can make these seats | 1.2596 | 0.05291 | 104 | 82 | 17 | 5 |
942 | At the count of 3 you won’t recall this lousy flight | 1.2593 | 0.05768 | 81 | 63 | 15 | 3 |
943 | and now...my disappearing luggage trick | 1.2593 | 0.05768 | 81 | 63 | 15 | 3 |
944 | And for our dinner entrée: pulled rabbit! | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
945 | No amount of magic can change your seat to first class. | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
946 | Still better than "Now You See Me 2" | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
947 | My friends won’t watch my tricks anymore so I am seeking captive audiences | 1.2588 | 0.05333 | 85 | 65 | 18 | 2 |
948 | Tips are greatly appreciated, unless someone wants the right engine to start losing power. | 1.2584 | 0.05878 | 89 | 71 | 13 | 5 |
949 | Now, ladies and gentlemen, watch as I pull a parachute out of my hat. | 1.2584 | 0.05656 | 89 | 70 | 15 | 4 |
950 | …and PRESTO! Now you’re the pilot. | 1.2584 | 0.05656 | 89 | 70 | 15 | 4 |
951 | and now i’ll give you nausea!!! | 1.2584 | 0.05656 | 89 | 70 | 15 | 4 |
952 | And for my next illusion, I will attempt to convince you that this airline gives a hoot about your comfort by handing you a bag of stale peanuts. | 1.2583 | 0.04950 | 120 | 95 | 19 | 6 |
953 | Your meal choice is rabbit or dove. | 1.2583 | 0.04659 | 120 | 93 | 23 | 4 |
954 | And, voila, we no longer serve peanuts. | 1.2581 | 0.05701 | 93 | 74 | 14 | 5 |
955 | And voila! Your luggage is gone. | 1.2581 | 0.05492 | 93 | 73 | 16 | 4 |
956 | Even I can’t make your seat go back. | 1.2581 | 0.05701 | 93 | 74 | 14 | 5 |
957 | I will now make all comfort disappear. | 1.2577 | 0.05135 | 97 | 75 | 19 | 3 |
958 | ...and remember folks, it's a taser now too! | 1.2577 | 0.05340 | 97 | 76 | 17 | 4 |
959 | And when you get off the plane, your luggage will have disappeared. | 1.2577 | 0.05340 | 97 | 76 | 17 | 4 |
960 | And now for my next trick, extra leg room! That’ll be $500. | 1.2577 | 0.05340 | 97 | 76 | 17 | 4 |
961 | Coffee, tea, or magic?" | 1.2574 | 0.05567 | 101 | 81 | 14 | 6 |
962 | Now let me see if I can make the pilot reappear. | 1.2571 | 0.05418 | 105 | 84 | 15 | 6 |
963 | Sure, and with this wand, I can bring you a hot meal and a roomier seat | 1.2571 | 0.05246 | 105 | 83 | 17 | 5 |
964 | My show will feature coins, scarves, cards, and whatever else was returned after my TSA screening. | 1.2571 | 0.05246 | 105 | 83 | 17 | 5 |
965 | And...poof! Your checked baggage has disappeared. | 1.2569 | 0.05438 | 109 | 88 | 14 | 7 |
966 | hocus pocus you CAN have the whole can of soda | 1.2568 | 0.06682 | 74 | 60 | 9 | 5 |
967 | “Remember, if you really, really believe, your luggage will appear on the carousel!” | 1.2561 | 0.06211 | 82 | 66 | 11 | 5 |
968 | Expecto seatsbackio! | 1.2561 | 0.06449 | 82 | 67 | 9 | 6 |
969 | And now, for my next trick, I will restart both engines! | 1.2561 | 0.05706 | 82 | 64 | 15 | 3 |
970 | Welcome to no frills airlines. I will now make your luggage disappear. | 1.2558 | 0.05279 | 86 | 66 | 18 | 2 |
971 | I will now turn your seat cushion into a floating device. | 1.2558 | 0.06006 | 86 | 69 | 12 | 5 |
972 | Decent food is out of the question, but a gently-used headset you shall have! | 1.2558 | 0.05279 | 86 | 66 | 18 | 2 |
973 | Just coins and rabbits…can’t help with the crying baby. | 1.2558 | 0.06230 | 86 | 70 | 10 | 6 |
974 | We’ll be up in the air in no time. | 1.2558 | 0.05532 | 86 | 67 | 16 | 3 |
975 | What's it worth to make your legroom reappear? | 1.2556 | 0.05373 | 90 | 70 | 17 | 3 |
976 | A little sleight-of-hand before the flight's to land? | 1.2556 | 0.06030 | 90 | 73 | 11 | 6 |
977 | The flight is being diverted to Pittsburgh. Tada! | 1.2556 | 0.05373 | 90 | 70 | 17 | 3 |
978 | Can I have a lovely volunteer from coach? | 1.2556 | 0.05600 | 90 | 71 | 15 | 4 |
979 | 220 tons of metal reaching 40,000 feet and 600 mph…magic! | 1.2556 | 0.05819 | 90 | 72 | 13 | 5 |
980 | Abracadabra! The seat kicker will now disappear. | 1.2553 | 0.05440 | 94 | 74 | 16 | 4 |
981 | I apologize specifically to your child, but, due to airline regulations, I can't bring the rabbit back until we are off the plane and out of the airport. | 1.2553 | 0.05440 | 94 | 74 | 16 | 4 |
982 | Airbuscadabra | 1.2553 | 0.05647 | 94 | 75 | 14 | 5 |
983 | Now that we have reached cruising altitude, I shall dehypnotize the flight crew. They are once again just performing seals . | 1.2553 | 0.05846 | 94 | 76 | 12 | 6 |
984 | Oxygen masks will magically descend from the ceiling.... | 1.2551 | 0.05292 | 98 | 77 | 17 | 4 |
985 | Now, about that one 'only good' landing wheel we've got left... | 1.2551 | 0.05487 | 98 | 78 | 15 | 5 |
986 | Abracadabra---The child behind you will neither cry nor kick your seat. | 1.2551 | 0.05858 | 98 | 80 | 11 | 7 |
987 | It can turn into a broomstick if there's an emergency. | 1.2551 | 0.05487 | 98 | 78 | 15 | 5 |
988 | And for those of you wanting some extra leg room, I will saw you in half. | 1.2549 | 0.05155 | 102 | 80 | 18 | 4 |
989 | Look outside. We're flying. | 1.2549 | 0.04963 | 102 | 79 | 20 | 3 |
990 | You're getting very sleepy, and won't remember a bit of this turbulence | 1.2549 | 0.05340 | 102 | 81 | 16 | 5 |
991 | And for my next trick, I'm going to make you all fly. | 1.2549 | 0.05340 | 102 | 81 | 16 | 5 |
992 | Due to unnatural forces, expect a surprise landing! | 1.2549 | 0.05518 | 102 | 82 | 14 | 6 |
993 | And for my next trick, first let my beautiful assistant bring in the More Leg Room Box and the Magic Saw! | 1.2547 | 0.05537 | 106 | 86 | 13 | 7 |
994 | Our flight will take aproximately 12 hours. You're all becoming sleepy, very sleepy . . . | 1.2547 | 0.04845 | 106 | 82 | 21 | 3 |
995 | . . . .And it's only an additional $9.95 to participate in the sing-along....credit cards only. | 1.2544 | 0.04795 | 114 | 89 | 21 | 4 |
996 | Magically, I've made all travel comforts, DISAPPEAR! | 1.2542 | 0.04690 | 118 | 92 | 22 | 4 |
997 | And for an extra $300, I can change the rabbit back into your pilot. | 1.2542 | 0.05272 | 118 | 96 | 14 | 8 |
998 | Now, who wants a wider seat? | 1.2540 | 0.04904 | 126 | 101 | 18 | 7 |
999 | At Abra Cadabra Air, your astonishment is our top priority!" | 1.2533 | 0.06323 | 75 | 60 | 11 | 4 |
1000 | Abracadabra! You deserve first class and have been chosen to lead the revolt! | 1.2532 | 0.06361 | 79 | 64 | 10 | 5 |
1001 | Imagine, life without the politics of Earth...we're off to Mars to start fresh and overcome our mistakes. | 1.2532 | 0.05829 | 79 | 62 | 14 | 3 |
1002 | Here at Spirit Airlines, you just have to BELIEVE in the magic of customer service and leg space | 1.2532 | 0.05829 | 79 | 62 | 14 | 3 |
1003 | And for my next trick, I’ll make everyone miss their connecting flight. | 1.2530 | 0.05899 | 83 | 66 | 13 | 4 |
1004 | And now...nutless chow mix!!!" | 1.2530 | 0.05645 | 83 | 65 | 15 | 3 |
1005 | For my next trick, I'll shrink your legroom even more! | 1.2530 | 0.05899 | 83 | 66 | 13 | 4 |
1006 | Now for the illusion of safety. | 1.2530 | 0.06378 | 83 | 68 | 9 | 6 |
1007 | Welcome to Oz! | 1.2530 | 0.06143 | 83 | 67 | 11 | 5 |
1008 | I'm here to enhance your flight experience. | 1.2529 | 0.05226 | 87 | 67 | 18 | 2 |
1009 | I'm a mime on the way back. | 1.2529 | 0.05715 | 87 | 69 | 14 | 4 |
1010 | I actually made us fly btw. | 1.2529 | 0.05715 | 87 | 69 | 14 | 4 |
1011 | Not enough leg room? I've got just the trick! | 1.2529 | 0.05715 | 87 | 69 | 14 | 4 |
1012 | With a wave of my wand and a mandate from Corporate, all of your free in-flight amenities will disappear. | 1.2529 | 0.06165 | 87 | 71 | 10 | 6 |
1013 | For my next trick, I will make all your legroom disappear. | 1.2529 | 0.05944 | 87 | 70 | 12 | 5 |
1014 | And now for a little more legroom! | 1.2529 | 0.05476 | 87 | 68 | 16 | 3 |
1015 | I will now attempt to return dignity to air travel.” | 1.2529 | 0.05476 | 87 | 68 | 16 | 3 |
1016 | And that is how this plane is able to fly! | 1.2529 | 0.05476 | 87 | 68 | 16 | 3 |
1017 | For my next trick, I’ll make the kid in the 2nd row disappear! | 1.2527 | 0.05546 | 91 | 72 | 15 | 4 |
1018 | Leviosa! | 1.2527 | 0.05970 | 91 | 74 | 11 | 6 |
1019 | It was that or having Ron DeSantis pick your destination. | 1.2527 | 0.05762 | 91 | 73 | 13 | 5 |
1020 | I'm here to prevent a plane crash! | 1.2527 | 0.05321 | 91 | 71 | 17 | 3 |
1021 | inflight entertainment should be optional | 1.2527 | 0.06171 | 91 | 75 | 9 | 7 |
1022 | Next stop Hogwarts! | 1.2526 | 0.05389 | 95 | 75 | 16 | 4 |
1023 | And with a wave of my magic wand, one of you will have a free meal. | 1.2526 | 0.05593 | 95 | 76 | 14 | 5 |
1024 | Could I have a volunteer? | 1.2526 | 0.05177 | 95 | 74 | 18 | 3 |
1025 | I've never failed to stick a landing. | 1.2526 | 0.05389 | 95 | 75 | 16 | 4 |
1026 | And voila! No more peanuts! | 1.2526 | 0.05177 | 95 | 74 | 18 | 3 |
1027 | For my next trick, I will TRY to make the pilot reappear. | 1.2526 | 0.05593 | 95 | 76 | 14 | 5 |
1028 | For my next trick, I’ll make this man’s legroom disappear! | 1.2525 | 0.05245 | 99 | 78 | 17 | 4 |
1029 | Don't worry about the safety, it is all in magic!! | 1.2525 | 0.05438 | 99 | 79 | 15 | 5 |
1030 | “If you think that was a great trick, wait until you try to find your luggage!” | 1.2525 | 0.05438 | 99 | 79 | 15 | 5 |
1031 | Welcome to the Magic Carpet Ride. | 1.2525 | 0.05044 | 99 | 77 | 19 | 3 |
1032 | And while we don't anticipate a drop in cabin pressure... | 1.2525 | 0.05438 | 99 | 79 | 15 | 5 |
1033 | ...and you all believe you are in business class. | 1.2524 | 0.05110 | 103 | 81 | 18 | 4 |
1034 | Abracadabra! He can no longer kick your seat! | 1.2523 | 0.05490 | 107 | 87 | 13 | 7 |
1035 | I can assure you, the pilot will be returning any moment now | 1.2523 | 0.04868 | 111 | 87 | 20 | 4 |
1036 | Don’t worry folks; I will now make the captain re-appear! | 1.2500 | 0.05322 | 84 | 65 | 17 | 2 |
1037 | Hi, folks. Your on-board entertainment today will be 'Rabbits on a Plane'. | 1.2500 | 0.06523 | 76 | 62 | 9 | 5 |
1038 | And for my next trick, we will actually be taking off on time. | 1.2500 | 0.05573 | 100 | 81 | 13 | 6 |
1039 | Now watch carefully as I turn this perfectly normal bit of cardboard into a delicious chicken frittata and bread roll. | 1.2500 | 0.05735 | 96 | 78 | 12 | 6 |
1040 | And with this in my hand we'll be able to land! | 1.2500 | 0.05883 | 88 | 71 | 12 | 5 |
1041 | Close your eyes and wish for more legroom. | 1.2500 | 0.05705 | 92 | 74 | 13 | 5 |
1042 | Should there be an emergency you folks are screwed ... I will simply pixie-dust right on out of here | 1.2500 | 0.05541 | 96 | 77 | 14 | 5 |
1043 | Can we have our TV screens back? | 1.2500 | 0.05000 | 100 | 78 | 19 | 3 |
1044 | Now watch as I turn a fifteen-minute delay into an hour delay! | 1.2500 | 0.04830 | 112 | 88 | 20 | 4 |
1045 | My next trick is to clear the oversold seats. | 1.2500 | 0.05492 | 92 | 73 | 15 | 4 |
1046 | When you wake the inflight meal will seem edible. | 1.2500 | 0.05270 | 92 | 72 | 17 | 3 |
1047 | Watch me make your leg room disappear. | 1.2500 | 0.05585 | 84 | 66 | 15 | 3 |
1048 | Ethel, that's why they named it "The Magical Mystery Tour" | 1.2500 | 0.06289 | 80 | 65 | 10 | 5 |
1049 | If needed,oxygen masks will drop from behind your ears. | 1.2500 | 0.05339 | 96 | 76 | 16 | 4 |
1050 | For my next trick,I will make $150 appear for someone willing to take the next flight. | 1.2500 | 0.05837 | 84 | 67 | 13 | 4 |
1051 | Finally, watch as I make your luggage disappear. | 1.2500 | 0.05046 | 84 | 64 | 19 | 1 |
1052 | Being a flight attendant pays the bills, but it was never my passion. | 1.2500 | 0.05038 | 92 | 71 | 19 | 2 |
1053 | Of course, there is a $30 in-flight entertainment fee. | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
1054 | On the count of 3 I will put this child to sleep until we land | 1.2500 | 0.05483 | 80 | 62 | 16 | 2 |
1055 | Now when I say the magic word, you won't feel the toddler kicking you seat constantly throughout the flight. | 1.2500 | 0.05198 | 100 | 79 | 17 | 4 |
1056 | Trick or pretzels? | 1.2500 | 0.05270 | 92 | 72 | 17 | 3 |
1057 | And when I say 'abra cadabra' all of your luggage will miraculously be there when we land! | 1.2500 | 0.05067 | 104 | 82 | 18 | 4 |
1058 | And you thought in flight entertainment was only available in 1st class. | 1.2500 | 0.06523 | 76 | 62 | 9 | 5 |
1059 | Welcome to Prestidigitator Airlines. | 1.2500 | 0.06248 | 76 | 61 | 11 | 4 |
1060 | Abracabraaaaaaaace for impact! | 1.2500 | 0.05483 | 80 | 62 | 16 | 2 |
1061 | Recline your seats for the illusion of comfort. | 1.2500 | 0.05421 | 88 | 69 | 16 | 3 |
1062 | Legume - Mushroom - alla fa lume - give these folks more leg room | 1.2500 | 0.05421 | 88 | 69 | 16 | 3 |
1063 | John finally found a captive audience for his close-up magic routine. | 1.2500 | 0.05960 | 76 | 60 | 13 | 3 |
1064 | Now I’ll perform my most difficult trick, I’ll provide you an airplane meal from 30 years ago. | 1.2500 | 0.05541 | 96 | 77 | 14 | 5 |
1065 | Watch closely as I make another 3 inches of leg room disappear! | 1.2500 | 0.05658 | 76 | 59 | 15 | 2 |
1066 | Welcome to Magic Airlines. We'll get you there one way or another!" | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
1067 | Amtrakadabra! | 1.2479 | 0.04687 | 117 | 92 | 21 | 4 |
1068 | For my next act, I will make the plane depart on time! | 1.2477 | 0.05239 | 109 | 88 | 15 | 6 |
1069 | And in the event of rude or drunken behaviour, I'll wave my magic wand and you will all dissapear. | 1.2476 | 0.05376 | 105 | 85 | 14 | 6 |
1070 | And for my next magic trick, I will return flying to its original splendor… | 1.2476 | 0.05376 | 105 | 85 | 14 | 6 |
1071 | ... and just like that we'll be back on the rails in one, two, ... | 1.2476 | 0.05024 | 105 | 83 | 18 | 4 |
1072 | And then the Fed Chairman said, Voila! Inflation gone! | 1.2476 | 0.05376 | 105 | 85 | 14 | 6 |
1073 | For my next trick, I’ll decrease the amount your seats recline by half! | 1.2475 | 0.05341 | 101 | 81 | 15 | 5 |
1074 | On the count of three you will be your satisfied with the leg room and meal service. | 1.2474 | 0.05490 | 97 | 78 | 14 | 5 |
1075 | Abracadabra! And this aircraft is flying! Now, in the unlikely event we …… | 1.2474 | 0.05290 | 97 | 77 | 16 | 4 |
1076 | With a flick of my wand, I’m gonna make your baby disappear. | 1.2473 | 0.05650 | 93 | 75 | 13 | 5 |
1077 | In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I’ll be asking for a volunteer from the audience. | 1.2473 | 0.05439 | 93 | 74 | 15 | 4 |
1078 | And with a wave of my wand your luggage just disappears! | 1.2473 | 0.05650 | 93 | 75 | 13 | 5 |
1079 | And now for my disappearing legroom trick... | 1.2473 | 0.04751 | 93 | 71 | 21 | 1 |
1080 | hippity dippity ding, the plane has lost a wing | 1.2473 | 0.05439 | 93 | 74 | 15 | 4 |
1081 | Ever heard of the magic school bus? | 1.2473 | 0.05220 | 93 | 73 | 17 | 3 |
1082 | Contents of one overhead bin may have mysteriously shifted to another. | 1.2473 | 0.05439 | 93 | 74 | 15 | 4 |
1083 | And for my next trick, I will make our pilots… disappear!!! | 1.2472 | 0.05824 | 89 | 72 | 12 | 5 |
1084 | Presto, Change-o, you're now in 1st class!!!! | 1.2472 | 0.05124 | 89 | 69 | 18 | 2 |
1085 | And we’re flying! | 1.2472 | 0.05600 | 89 | 71 | 14 | 4 |
1086 | And, Poof! Your stomach is full of delicious meal and your favorite beverage. You're Welcome! | 1.2472 | 0.05600 | 89 | 71 | 14 | 4 |
1087 | In flight magic wands can be purchased for twelve dollars… | 1.2472 | 0.05824 | 89 | 72 | 12 | 5 |
1088 | And just like that I've made your luggage disappear forever! | 1.2471 | 0.05775 | 85 | 68 | 13 | 4 |
1089 | ...and just like that, we're behind schedule... | 1.2471 | 0.05527 | 85 | 67 | 15 | 3 |
1090 | I’m Kevin, the Amazing, and I’ll be your flight attendant today. In the unlikely event of a water landing, I will turn this aircraft into a really big boat. | 1.2471 | 0.05775 | 85 | 68 | 13 | 4 |
1091 | Does he have a delete button? | 1.2471 | 0.05527 | 85 | 67 | 15 | 3 |
1092 | It’s how we put the 737 Max on autopilot. | 1.2471 | 0.05268 | 85 | 66 | 17 | 2 |
1093 | It's okay, I'm an emotional support magician. | 1.2469 | 0.05701 | 81 | 64 | 14 | 3 |
1094 | Please pay attention while I demonstrate our new backup elevation system... | 1.2469 | 0.05424 | 81 | 63 | 16 | 2 |
1095 | AlaKazaam!! All your tray tables and seats have been returned to their original, upright position. | 1.2469 | 0.05701 | 81 | 64 | 14 | 3 |
1096 | And now for a very special announcement about your baggage... | 1.2469 | 0.05701 | 81 | 64 | 14 | 3 |
1097 | Your luggage will be unloaded and placed on the conveyor belt first. | 1.2469 | 0.06219 | 81 | 66 | 10 | 5 |
1098 | More leg room? Sorry, I don't take requests. | 1.2468 | 0.05891 | 77 | 61 | 13 | 3 |
1099 | At the count of three, I'm going to make your luggage disappear. | 1.2468 | 0.05891 | 77 | 61 | 13 | 3 |
1100 | For my next trick, I will be presenting you some turbulence | 1.2468 | 0.06175 | 77 | 62 | 11 | 4 |
1101 | Abracadabra. It’s not chicken. | 1.2468 | 0.05891 | 77 | 61 | 13 | 3 |
1102 | For my next trick, I will turn your seat cushions into flotation devices. | 1.2466 | 0.05780 | 73 | 57 | 14 | 2 |
1103 | Every time a child says 'I don't believe in magic', there is a plane somewhere that falls down dead. | 1.2466 | 0.06695 | 73 | 60 | 8 | 5 |
1104 | And when I snap my fingers you will all sleep until the captain says we are landing. | 1.2466 | 0.06101 | 73 | 58 | 12 | 3 |
1105 | For my next trick, there miraculously will be a runway already aware we are arriving!!! | 1.2464 | 0.06332 | 69 | 55 | 11 | 3 |
1106 | You want your roll-ons to fit overhead, or not? | 1.2455 | 0.04690 | 110 | 86 | 21 | 3 |
1107 | I can do magic, but asking for food and drinks is crazy talk! | 1.2451 | 0.05294 | 102 | 82 | 15 | 5 |
1108 | ...and in case of emergency, I'll pull parachutes out of my hat...! | 1.2451 | 0.05474 | 102 | 83 | 13 | 6 |
1109 | An optimist created the plane, and a pessimist created seatbelts. | 1.2449 | 0.05242 | 98 | 78 | 16 | 4 |
1110 | And for my next trick I will figure out how to land this thing. | 1.2447 | 0.05596 | 94 | 76 | 13 | 5 |
1111 | Just a reminder folks! Let’s all behave! This is a tazzer | 1.2447 | 0.05796 | 94 | 77 | 11 | 6 |
1112 | Watch me turn your seats into first class. | 1.2447 | 0.05796 | 94 | 77 | 11 | 6 |
1113 | And now for my next trick I shall make your luggage disappear! | 1.2444 | 0.05765 | 90 | 73 | 12 | 5 |
1114 | For my next act, I'll make your checked bags disappear. | 1.2444 | 0.05978 | 90 | 74 | 10 | 6 |
1115 | No pilot? No problem! | 1.2444 | 0.05765 | 90 | 73 | 12 | 5 |
1116 | And now, I'mg going to make a home-cooked meal on china plates appear! | 1.2444 | 0.05978 | 90 | 74 | 10 | 6 |
1117 | ...and now in lieu of our in-flight movie... | 1.2442 | 0.05470 | 86 | 68 | 15 | 3 |
1118 | …and that is how carry-ons fit in the overhead compartment. | 1.2442 | 0.05470 | 86 | 68 | 15 | 3 |
1119 | Who says flying isn't what it used to be? | 1.2442 | 0.05470 | 86 | 68 | 15 | 3 |
1120 | I lo-o-o-ve captive audiences. | 1.2442 | 0.06175 | 86 | 71 | 9 | 6 |
1121 | ... and if you think I'll be able to make free snacks and drinks for you, you've had too much to drink in the departure lounge. Have a nice flight! | 1.2442 | 0.05715 | 86 | 69 | 13 | 4 |
1122 | I will now set you free to move about the cabin. | 1.2442 | 0.05470 | 86 | 68 | 15 | 3 |
1123 | I will now make leg room, meals, and discount fares disappear. | 1.2442 | 0.05949 | 86 | 70 | 11 | 5 |
1124 | Now watch as I make our estimated arrival time disappear. | 1.2439 | 0.05366 | 82 | 64 | 16 | 2 |
1125 | Your pilot will be looking for this in a few minutes. | 1.2439 | 0.06150 | 82 | 67 | 10 | 5 |
1126 | Due to the labor shortage, they can't fire me. | 1.2439 | 0.05366 | 82 | 64 | 16 | 2 |
1127 | Flying is magic—it’s me keeping this plane aloft! | 1.2439 | 0.05639 | 82 | 65 | 14 | 3 |
1128 | Come fly with me. | 1.2439 | 0.05900 | 82 | 66 | 12 | 4 |
1129 | For my next magic act the flight will arrive on time. | 1.2439 | 0.06150 | 82 | 67 | 10 | 5 |
1130 | I’m in charge of closing the overhead luggage compartments. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
1131 | The rabbit just did something on my head. | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
1132 | Please choose from an assortment of snacks and beverages which will be then pulled out of my hat. | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
1133 | With this wand, I will levitate this vehicle and take us to the nearest soft landing concrete area. | 1.2436 | 0.06370 | 78 | 64 | 9 | 5 |
1134 | And Presto! We have an on-time arrival with all of your luggage! | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
1135 | Folks, we appreciate your patience as the flight crew records their latest attempt at a viral TikTok video. | 1.2436 | 0.06370 | 78 | 64 | 9 | 5 |
1136 | I see we have some out-of-towners in the audience. | 1.2436 | 0.05221 | 78 | 60 | 17 | 1 |
1137 | And for my next trick, I am going to land the plane. | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
1138 | Quiet the baby? No, but I can pull a rabbit out of a barf bag! | 1.2432 | 0.06327 | 74 | 60 | 10 | 4 |
1139 | And any joy of flying will disappear. | 1.2432 | 0.06327 | 74 | 60 | 10 | 4 |
1140 | Anybody want an upgrade? | 1.2432 | 0.05711 | 74 | 58 | 14 | 2 |
1141 | My first trick will explain Bernoulli's principle. | 1.2432 | 0.06027 | 74 | 59 | 12 | 3 |
1142 | let me show you a little trick before we crash | 1.2432 | 0.05711 | 74 | 58 | 14 | 2 |
1143 | And for my next trick, I'll make this screaming child disappear! [thunderous applause ensues] | 1.2427 | 0.05426 | 103 | 84 | 13 | 6 |
1144 | When I clap my hands, you will be asleep... and magically not remember the 5-hour delay to board. | 1.2427 | 0.05426 | 103 | 84 | 13 | 6 |
1145 | Let me amaze you with an on-time departure! | 1.2427 | 0.04672 | 103 | 80 | 21 | 2 |
1146 | And for my next trick, I will fit an expedition-size suitcase into the overhead.” | 1.2421 | 0.05542 | 95 | 77 | 13 | 5 |
1147 | And now I will make your anxiety about sitting uncomfortably close to total strangers while hurtling through midair in a pressurized and possibly pathogen-infected metal can that you don't know how to operate disappear - using only Biscoff cookies! | 1.2421 | 0.05933 | 95 | 79 | 9 | 7 |
1148 | And now for my next trick, I will pilot us to our destination on time. | 1.2421 | 0.05741 | 95 | 78 | 11 | 6 |
1149 | Watch me pull some peanuts out of my hat! - | 1.2421 | 0.05542 | 95 | 77 | 13 | 5 |
1150 | This is your captain. Enjoy our new technology. | 1.2418 | 0.05490 | 91 | 73 | 14 | 4 |
1151 | You might remember me from my work aboard Malaysia Airlines Flight 370“ | 1.2418 | 0.05918 | 91 | 75 | 10 | 6 |
1152 | Going to wave this, so we can guarantee your flight won’t be canceled | 1.2418 | 0.05490 | 91 | 73 | 14 | 4 |
1153 | Happy thoughts keep the plane up! | 1.2418 | 0.05708 | 91 | 74 | 12 | 5 |
1154 | We are trying everything to ensure you make your connections today. | 1.2418 | 0.05708 | 91 | 74 | 12 | 5 |
1155 | And for my next trick, I will pull your warm towel out of my hat. | 1.2418 | 0.05263 | 91 | 72 | 16 | 3 |
1156 | And with three waves of my wand, your baggage shall simply disappear! | 1.2418 | 0.05025 | 91 | 71 | 18 | 2 |
1157 | Don't worry, I have the autopilot engaged. | 1.2418 | 0.05708 | 91 | 74 | 12 | 5 |
1158 | And now for something to relax you before the landing. | 1.2414 | 0.05161 | 87 | 68 | 17 | 2 |
1159 | I’m told you have a complaint about legroom? | 1.2414 | 0.06110 | 87 | 72 | 9 | 6 |
1160 | Watch me pull 2 extra inches of legroom out of my hat! | 1.2414 | 0.04895 | 87 | 67 | 19 | 1 |
1161 | I’m your captain and Mr Wand is your co-pilot | 1.2414 | 0.05656 | 87 | 70 | 13 | 4 |
1162 | For my next trick... landing. | 1.2410 | 0.05579 | 83 | 66 | 14 | 3 |
1163 | . . . and this flight will be smooth, we'll arrive on time, your baggage will be found, and an attendant at the gate will refund half of the outrageous fare you paid. | 1.2410 | 0.06320 | 83 | 69 | 8 | 6 |
1164 | No leg room,no beverage service,no smoked nuts,no carryons,only one working lav,but entertainment for your flying pleasure. | 1.2410 | 0.05836 | 83 | 67 | 12 | 4 |
1165 | And now I will pull a tiger out of the overhead compartment. | 1.2410 | 0.05579 | 83 | 66 | 14 | 3 |
1166 | And now for my last feat of incredible magic, I am going to make the baby in 27A, who has been crying for the last two hours, stop!” | 1.2410 | 0.05309 | 83 | 65 | 16 | 2 |
1167 | Due to astounding, mesmerizing, and unforeseen circumstances, our flight has been delayed. | 1.2410 | 0.04723 | 83 | 63 | 20 | 0 |
1168 | The pilot has just told me we’ll be making a brief stop in Hogwarts on our way to Heathrow in lieu’ of an actual meal. | 1.2407 | 0.05073 | 108 | 87 | 16 | 5 |
1169 | Don't worry, I'm not allowed to make flights disappear anymore! | 1.2407 | 0.05073 | 108 | 87 | 16 | 5 |
1170 | We no longer offer seat belts, this is just as effective. | 1.2405 | 0.05758 | 79 | 63 | 13 | 3 |
1171 | For $50, I can magically make that obnoxious child behind you stop kicking your seat. | 1.2405 | 0.05164 | 79 | 61 | 17 | 1 |
1172 | I am here to bother you all flight long! | 1.2405 | 0.06297 | 79 | 65 | 9 | 5 |
1173 | and abracadabra - your legroom has disappeared! | 1.2405 | 0.06033 | 79 | 64 | 11 | 4 |
1174 | A good steward never reveals when there is life-threatening turbulence! | 1.2405 | 0.05469 | 79 | 62 | 15 | 2 |
1175 | Imagine a moment ago you were on this flight without any seats! Now for my next trick cabin space will become fully occupied and we will gate check your bag for free! | 1.2405 | 0.05469 | 79 | 62 | 15 | 2 |
1176 | In the event of an emergency landing,we will all chant Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo! | 1.2405 | 0.04839 | 79 | 60 | 19 | 0 |
1177 | - And now, as you can see, in the same space there are thirty two rows instead of twenty eight. | 1.2405 | 0.05758 | 79 | 63 | 13 | 3 |
1178 | I'd pull a rabbit out of my hat, but he got added to the first class menu. | 1.2405 | 0.06033 | 79 | 64 | 11 | 4 |
1179 | Yes there’s magic in the air! Unfortunately we’ve been grounded indefinitely by air traffic control. | 1.2404 | 0.05020 | 104 | 83 | 17 | 4 |
1180 | We told you there would be consequences for not putting your seats back to their full upright position. | 1.2400 | 0.05148 | 100 | 80 | 16 | 4 |
1181 | For my next trick, I will make your legroom disappear! | 1.2400 | 0.04948 | 100 | 79 | 18 | 3 |
1182 | And for my next trick I'll make the person in the middle seat disappear | 1.2400 | 0.05644 | 75 | 59 | 14 | 2 |
1183 | The Captain asks that everyone repeat after me, "I believe I can fly." | 1.2400 | 0.06532 | 75 | 62 | 8 | 5 |
1184 | bibbidi-bobbidi-boo... your ears will now pop! | 1.2400 | 0.04740 | 100 | 78 | 20 | 2 |
1185 | Now that I've explained checked luggage, Suzy will explain your seat belts. | 1.2396 | 0.05490 | 96 | 78 | 13 | 5 |
1186 | Here at Frontier airlines your bags will magically reappear in an undisclosed location somewhere in the southern peninsula. | 1.2396 | 0.05075 | 96 | 76 | 17 | 3 |
1187 | Would everyone please check to see if there is a rabbit hiding under the seat in front of you. | 1.2396 | 0.05490 | 96 | 78 | 13 | 5 |
1188 | Bam! Now check the overhead, your bags are gone. | 1.2396 | 0.05287 | 96 | 77 | 15 | 4 |
1189 | And now for my final trick, I shall make even more legroom disappear. | 1.2396 | 0.05490 | 96 | 78 | 13 | 5 |
1190 | This is what happens on the other side of the curtain. Happy? | 1.2394 | 0.06172 | 71 | 57 | 11 | 3 |
1191 | Fasten your seatbelts because this is going to be a magical flight! | 1.2391 | 0.04977 | 92 | 72 | 18 | 2 |
1192 | Abraca-baggage-be-gone! | 1.2391 | 0.05859 | 92 | 76 | 10 | 6 |
1193 | I'm going to stick this wand up your ass! | 1.2391 | 0.06059 | 92 | 77 | 8 | 7 |
1194 | And now we will go back in time to your scheduled arrival time. | 1.2391 | 0.05859 | 92 | 76 | 10 | 6 |
1195 | I come free with the flight - but for small fee - less than the baggage fee -I can disappear. | 1.2391 | 0.04977 | 92 | 72 | 18 | 2 |
1196 | If you follow me to the toilet, I'll let you join the mile high magic club... | 1.2391 | 0.05212 | 92 | 73 | 16 | 3 |
1197 | And for my next trick I will pull peanuts out of my hat! | 1.2391 | 0.05436 | 92 | 74 | 14 | 4 |
1198 | Watch as all your leg room disappears | 1.2391 | 0.05436 | 92 | 74 | 14 | 4 |
1199 | Well, folk, it looks like we're stuck on the runway for a few more hours, but the good news is . . . | 1.2386 | 0.05598 | 88 | 71 | 13 | 4 |
1200 | Welcome to the only magical part of your flight! | 1.2386 | 0.05826 | 88 | 72 | 11 | 5 |
1201 | For my next trick, I'll make your anxiety *disappear* | 1.2386 | 0.05598 | 88 | 71 | 13 | 4 |
1202 | Buckle up! I will now levitate this plane and transport it to Chicago! | 1.2386 | 0.05359 | 88 | 70 | 15 | 3 |
1203 | presto! now you think you have been served a full course meal | 1.2386 | 0.05826 | 88 | 72 | 11 | 5 |
1204 | Abracadabra wheels down! | 1.2386 | 0.04847 | 88 | 68 | 19 | 1 |
1205 | Be careful opening the overhead bins, items may have been transformed in flight | 1.2386 | 0.05598 | 88 | 71 | 13 | 4 |
1206 | And when you awake your plane will be ready for take off. | 1.2386 | 0.05598 | 88 | 71 | 13 | 4 |
1207 | Abracadara...a package of five peanuts! | 1.2386 | 0.05598 | 88 | 71 | 13 | 4 |
1208 | Presto! Your bags have disappeared. | 1.2381 | 0.05253 | 84 | 66 | 16 | 2 |
1209 | With a touch of my wand. No COVID here. No COVID there.... | 1.2381 | 0.05773 | 84 | 68 | 12 | 4 |
1210 | With this magic wand I will upgrade your mind to business class. | 1.2381 | 0.05253 | 84 | 66 | 16 | 2 |
1211 | i've always wanted to conduct in an airplane. | 1.2381 | 0.05519 | 84 | 67 | 14 | 3 |
1212 | And now for my next trick, I'll make airplane food actually taste good. | 1.2381 | 0.05253 | 84 | 66 | 16 | 2 |
1213 | And magically, you’ll get 50,000 points when you sign up for our sky card | 1.2381 | 0.05519 | 84 | 67 | 14 | 3 |
1214 | In the unlikely event of an emergency landing I will wave this wand | 1.2376 | 0.05477 | 101 | 83 | 12 | 6 |
1215 | Watch as I make our 2 hour delay go “poof!” | 1.2376 | 0.05293 | 101 | 82 | 14 | 5 |
1216 | And, that's how I get the kid to stop kicking your seat | 1.2376 | 0.05103 | 101 | 81 | 16 | 4 |
1217 | Voila! More legroom! Hahaha, just kidding. | 1.2375 | 0.05694 | 80 | 64 | 13 | 3 |
1218 | Have a wand-erful flight, my Pretties! | 1.2375 | 0.06225 | 80 | 66 | 9 | 5 |
1219 | The pilot has had a heart attack , the copilot is drunk, No Worry, I Got This ! | 1.2375 | 0.06225 | 80 | 66 | 9 | 5 |
1220 | Good afternoon,I am your captain. Do you want to see this plane land itself? Abracadabra! | 1.2375 | 0.05409 | 80 | 63 | 15 | 2 |
1221 | My last trick concerns your luggage. | 1.2375 | 0.05965 | 80 | 65 | 11 | 4 |
1222 | And for my final trick your seat will expand to fit your bum. | 1.2375 | 0.05694 | 80 | 64 | 13 | 3 |
1223 | Sorry, but making myself disappear is not an option. | 1.2375 | 0.05694 | 80 | 64 | 13 | 3 |
1224 | I can’t give you more leg room, but I can give you baby legs. | 1.2371 | 0.05439 | 97 | 79 | 13 | 5 |
1225 | Greetings, boys, girls and children of all ages, my name is Mister Dram-O'Meen, and today I'll help with air sickness. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
1226 | No need for masks; we've made COVID magically disappear on on all flights. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
1227 | Just be grateful I'm not doing my comedy! | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
1228 | If you believe in magic, this flight will be enjoyable. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
1229 | Ta da! Thanks to auto pilot I can now begin your in flight entertainment. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
1230 | Watch you hot meal and extra leg room disappear! | 1.2366 | 0.04930 | 93 | 73 | 18 | 2 |
1231 | « We’ve moved to live entertainment, more carbon neutral » | 1.2366 | 0.05162 | 93 | 74 | 16 | 3 |
1232 | ...and now I'll say the magic words and make the pilot re-appear. | 1.2366 | 0.05999 | 93 | 78 | 8 | 7 |
1233 | Who thinks I can't make your seats smaller? | 1.2366 | 0.05596 | 93 | 76 | 12 | 5 |
1234 | Voila! Your luggage has mysteriously disappeared. | 1.2366 | 0.05999 | 93 | 78 | 8 | 7 |
1235 | ...and there goes your leg room. | 1.2366 | 0.05383 | 93 | 75 | 14 | 4 |
1236 | Now I shall remove the handles from your luggage. | 1.2361 | 0.05414 | 72 | 56 | 15 | 1 |
1237 | There's no business class, like show business class. | 1.2361 | 0.05764 | 72 | 57 | 13 | 2 |
1238 | Song and Dance Airlines proudly presents . . . a take off. | 1.2361 | 0.06407 | 72 | 59 | 9 | 4 |
1239 | This plane weighs 175,000 pounds at take off. Do you really think it gets off the ground on aeronautics alone? Wingardium Leviosa! | 1.2360 | 0.05305 | 89 | 71 | 15 | 3 |
1240 | And for my next trick, I'll make flying enjoyable again! | 1.2360 | 0.05767 | 89 | 73 | 11 | 5 |
1241 | Would you like more leg room? Sorry that trick never works | 1.2360 | 0.05305 | 89 | 71 | 15 | 3 |
1242 | Crura aperta spatium | 1.2360 | 0.05767 | 89 | 73 | 11 | 5 |
1243 | And for my next illusion...more footroom. | 1.2360 | 0.05305 | 89 | 71 | 15 | 3 |
1244 | In case of an emergency pull this wand from under your seat and wish for either a parachute or use it as a flotation device | 1.2360 | 0.05767 | 89 | 73 | 11 | 5 |
1245 | For my next trick, an on-time arrival. | 1.2360 | 0.05541 | 89 | 72 | 13 | 4 |
1246 | Presto...a medium size black suitcase has just disappeared. | 1.2358 | 0.04143 | 106 | 81 | 25 | 0 |
1247 | When I say 'abracabra' you'll instantly switch places with the pilot. | 1.2358 | 0.05114 | 106 | 86 | 15 | 5 |
1248 | I will turn one of you into a First Class passenger.... | 1.2353 | 0.05712 | 85 | 69 | 12 | 4 |
1249 | A rabbit and doves, and I can't get a ham sandwich past security! | 1.2353 | 0.05712 | 85 | 69 | 12 | 4 |
1250 | For my next trick, I’ll make any last comfort disappear. | 1.2353 | 0.05712 | 85 | 69 | 12 | 4 |
1251 | Poof!... you're now floating in the air. | 1.2353 | 0.04862 | 102 | 81 | 18 | 3 |
1252 | You will all wake up when I count to three, and you will remember the flight turbulence as a happy romp in a bouncy castle. | 1.2353 | 0.05198 | 85 | 67 | 16 | 2 |
1253 | We like telling people this is the reason their luggage disappeared. | 1.2346 | 0.05898 | 81 | 66 | 11 | 4 |
1254 | And for my final illusion, ladies and gentlemen, we will arrive at our destination on time. | 1.2346 | 0.05349 | 81 | 64 | 15 | 2 |
1255 | This is located under your seat to be used when locating your luggage in baggage claim. | 1.2346 | 0.06154 | 81 | 67 | 9 | 5 |
1256 | I can do anything but get your flight in on time. | 1.2346 | 0.05053 | 81 | 63 | 17 | 1 |
1257 | Poof! Your legroom's been cut in half. | 1.2346 | 0.06154 | 81 | 67 | 9 | 5 |
1258 | Good question, but no you will still need to file a missing bag claim at the service desk | 1.2346 | 0.05349 | 81 | 64 | 15 | 2 |
1259 | Ta-da! Your seat cushion is now a flotation device. | 1.2346 | 0.05630 | 81 | 65 | 13 | 3 |
1260 | And,we will get you there,on time. | 1.2346 | 0.06637 | 81 | 69 | 5 | 7 |
1261 | Thank you for flying RYANAIR. One of you lucky folks will arrive at the same destination as your luggage. | 1.2346 | 0.06400 | 81 | 68 | 7 | 6 |
1262 | Do you want the vegetarian option or the rabbit? | 1.2346 | 0.06400 | 81 | 68 | 7 | 6 |
1263 | now to predict our chances for an on-time takeoff | 1.2340 | 0.05542 | 94 | 77 | 12 | 5 |
1264 | And for my next trick, I am going to land the plane from coach with my eyes closed. | 1.2338 | 0.05514 | 77 | 61 | 14 | 2 |
1265 | Being a pilot doesn’t pay as much as you think | 1.2338 | 0.05195 | 77 | 60 | 16 | 1 |
1266 | Ta Da, look out the window. We are leaving on schedule. | 1.2338 | 0.06102 | 77 | 63 | 10 | 4 |
1267 | Is *this* your safety card? | 1.2338 | 0.06376 | 77 | 64 | 8 | 5 |
1268 | Vaccine anyone? | 1.2338 | 0.06102 | 77 | 63 | 10 | 4 |
1269 | Yes, normally I AM your pilot, but today, our inflight entertainment system is broken again. | 1.2333 | 0.05923 | 90 | 75 | 9 | 6 |
1270 | Daddy, isn't torture covered by the Warsaw Convention? | 1.2333 | 0.05485 | 90 | 73 | 13 | 4 |
1271 | And when I say "Emergency," you will be able to pull out both a life vest and a rabbit from under your seats. | 1.2333 | 0.05708 | 90 | 74 | 11 | 5 |
1272 | Before I make the flight crew reappear, it’s time to pass the hat. | 1.2333 | 0.05253 | 90 | 72 | 15 | 3 |
1273 | I'm making your baggage disappear | 1.2333 | 0.05485 | 90 | 73 | 13 | 4 |
1274 | Thank you for flying "Magic Air' where flight is always on time and you will make your connecting flight | 1.2333 | 0.05485 | 90 | 73 | 13 | 4 |
1275 | And now, more legroom. | 1.2333 | 0.05253 | 90 | 72 | 15 | 3 |
1276 | Now I will pull a rabbit from this hat. Watch closely.. even if you have seen this trick before, as some parts may have changed | 1.2333 | 0.05923 | 90 | 75 | 9 | 6 |
1277 | Pay no mind to the lack of man behind the curtain. | 1.2333 | 0.05253 | 90 | 72 | 15 | 3 |
1278 | And now...she won't kick your seat! | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
1279 | With a flick of my wand, we will simultaneously rise into the air. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
1280 | You will sleep without calling for food or drink until we arrive at our destination. | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
1281 | In the event of an emergency, the compartment above you will pop open and a rabbit will fall out. | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
1282 | All together now...seatbacks up, tray tables locked. seatbelts on... | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
1283 | I know most of you are used to flying Spirit. I promise we’re a more magical experience. | 1.2329 | 0.06621 | 73 | 61 | 7 | 5 |
1284 | What, did you really believe that this metal tube flies because of science? | 1.2326 | 0.05652 | 86 | 70 | 12 | 4 |
1285 | Well, you believed in magic when you packed your carry-on! | 1.2326 | 0.05404 | 86 | 69 | 14 | 3 |
1286 | ... and that's how you land a plane with magic. Now who wants Pringles? | 1.2326 | 0.06117 | 86 | 72 | 8 | 6 |
1287 | Magic is also why you no longer need masks. | 1.2326 | 0.06117 | 86 | 72 | 8 | 6 |
1288 | Presto! You're all in First Class! | 1.2326 | 0.05652 | 86 | 70 | 12 | 4 |
1289 | And in the event of turbulence or anything at all you find unsettling, I'll be happy to provide you with your very own emotional support balloon animal. | 1.2326 | 0.06117 | 86 | 72 | 8 | 6 |
1290 | I’m not in airplane mode yet. | 1.2326 | 0.05652 | 86 | 70 | 12 | 4 |
1291 | Presto!" One more inch of leg room | 1.2323 | 0.05142 | 99 | 80 | 15 | 4 |
1292 | And for my final trick… I will make your legs disappear so as to make room for an additional row of seats. | 1.2323 | 0.05529 | 99 | 82 | 11 | 6 |
1293 | Behave yourselves or I'll put you in my hat with the rabbit. | 1.2319 | 0.06576 | 69 | 57 | 8 | 4 |
1294 | And voila, the plane has vanished into thin air. | 1.2319 | 0.05892 | 69 | 55 | 12 | 2 |
1295 | Can I have a couple of volunteers? | 1.2319 | 0.06243 | 69 | 56 | 10 | 3 |
1296 | The captain has asked if we can have a volunteer from the audience. | 1.2317 | 0.05291 | 82 | 65 | 15 | 2 |
1297 | For my next trick Ill shut all the babies up. | 1.2317 | 0.05569 | 82 | 66 | 13 | 3 |
1298 | And now for a small fee, I’ll make your luggage reappear. | 1.2317 | 0.04999 | 82 | 64 | 17 | 1 |
1299 | For my next trick, it’ll be $3 if you want a snack to appear. | 1.2317 | 0.05833 | 82 | 67 | 11 | 4 |
1300 | We’re testing out a new form of in-flight entertainment. | 1.2317 | 0.05833 | 82 | 67 | 11 | 4 |
1301 | Any one know how to find Detroit. The wand needs re charging | 1.2317 | 0.05291 | 82 | 65 | 15 | 2 |
1302 | And for my next trick, I’m going to make the brat in the seat behind you DISAPPEAR! | 1.2317 | 0.06328 | 82 | 69 | 7 | 6 |
1303 | Hmm, that didn't bring the pilot back. Let's try again. | 1.2317 | 0.04999 | 82 | 64 | 17 | 1 |
1304 | I'm going to turn everyone's mini pretzel bags into a real meal. | 1.2316 | 0.05065 | 95 | 76 | 16 | 3 |
1305 | And now your lunch will… reappear! | 1.2315 | 0.05028 | 108 | 88 | 15 | 5 |
1306 | For my next trick, I’ll make your luggage arrive where it’s supposed to. | 1.2308 | 0.05431 | 91 | 74 | 13 | 4 |
1307 | For my next trick, I'm going to land the plane on time.... | 1.2308 | 0.05201 | 91 | 73 | 15 | 3 |
1308 | And now for you folks in coach I'll make the free beverages disappear | 1.2308 | 0.05431 | 91 | 74 | 13 | 4 |
1309 | Watch me pull a therapy pet out of my hat! | 1.2308 | 0.05451 | 78 | 62 | 14 | 2 |
1310 | Do you want a drink, a snack, or, a show? | 1.2308 | 0.05748 | 78 | 63 | 12 | 3 |
1311 | I will now reduce the dislocation in my right shoulder! | 1.2308 | 0.04961 | 91 | 72 | 17 | 2 |
1312 | Standing room tickets aren’t bought, they’re earned | 1.2308 | 0.05451 | 78 | 62 | 14 | 2 |
1313 | I hope he can make sure that our luggage is on this flight. | 1.2308 | 0.05431 | 91 | 74 | 13 | 4 |
1314 | And now, ladies and gentlemen, in a few moments, I will magically levitate us all into the thin air!" | 1.2308 | 0.05651 | 91 | 75 | 11 | 5 |
1315 | There are several emergency exits on this aircraft: forward, aft, and inside my vanishing tomb. | 1.2308 | 0.06031 | 78 | 64 | 10 | 4 |
1316 | And for my next trick, I’ll increase your fare while reducing your leg room! | 1.2308 | 0.05451 | 78 | 62 | 14 | 2 |
1317 | And for my next trip, I will make the pilot magically reappear in the cockpit! | 1.2300 | 0.05096 | 100 | 81 | 15 | 4 |
1318 | Whatever you wish you can forget it. | 1.2300 | 0.05660 | 100 | 84 | 9 | 7 |
1319 | And now for my next trick I will produce something edible. | 1.2300 | 0.05096 | 100 | 81 | 15 | 4 |
1320 | Now pretend we take off on time. | 1.2299 | 0.05593 | 87 | 71 | 12 | 4 |
1321 | For my next trick, I shall make legroom disappear. | 1.2299 | 0.05593 | 87 | 71 | 12 | 4 |
1322 | I'm part of the airline's effort to increase leg room" Gerry Broderick, Milwaukee, WI | 1.2299 | 0.05348 | 87 | 70 | 14 | 3 |
1323 | Captive audiences are my favorite. | 1.2299 | 0.06052 | 87 | 73 | 8 | 6 |
1324 | AAAAND poof! your luggage is gone! | 1.2299 | 0.05348 | 87 | 70 | 14 | 3 |
1325 | Our in-flight entertainment budget has been reduced. | 1.2299 | 0.05827 | 87 | 72 | 10 | 5 |
1326 | I will now make your lost luggage reappear. | 1.2299 | 0.05092 | 87 | 69 | 16 | 2 |
1327 | And now I’ll make your online rate disappear. | 1.2297 | 0.05945 | 74 | 60 | 11 | 3 |
1328 | Abracadabra…more leg room! | 1.2297 | 0.05286 | 74 | 58 | 15 | 1 |
1329 | Surviving check-in, TSA and boarding may seem like enough magic, but just humor me a minute." | 1.2297 | 0.05286 | 74 | 58 | 15 | 1 |
1330 | For a slight upgrade fee, I will make your typical three hour international delay memory disappear ! | 1.2297 | 0.05286 | 74 | 58 | 15 | 1 |
1331 | Is there a doctor on board? | 1.2297 | 0.05945 | 74 | 60 | 11 | 3 |
1332 | I will make this very plane fly dear passengers | 1.2297 | 0.05945 | 74 | 60 | 11 | 3 |
1333 | Watch me pull a pilot out of my hat!” | 1.2297 | 0.05286 | 74 | 58 | 15 | 1 |
1334 | Poof, no more dignity. | 1.2297 | 0.06538 | 74 | 62 | 7 | 5 |
1335 | Presto chango, this is as good as it gets. | 1.2297 | 0.06249 | 74 | 61 | 9 | 4 |
1336 | Your blankets, leg room, and warm meals have disappeared. | 1.2294 | 0.04633 | 109 | 87 | 19 | 3 |
1337 | This next trick requires a verbal response from those of you seated in the emergency exit row. | 1.2289 | 0.05508 | 83 | 67 | 13 | 3 |
1338 | He just wanted to get his emotional support rabbit on board | 1.2289 | 0.06488 | 83 | 71 | 5 | 7 |
1339 | Since we, at Cheapo Air, offer no streaming services to save 995 pounds, I'll be your entertainment for this five hour flight. | 1.2289 | 0.05235 | 83 | 66 | 15 | 2 |
1340 | And for my next trick: an appetite-filling bag of peanuts. | 1.2289 | 0.06018 | 83 | 69 | 9 | 5 |
1341 | Your luggage? Sure, I’ll just wave my magic wand. | 1.2289 | 0.06018 | 83 | 69 | 9 | 5 |
1342 | I kid you not, with one spell I can make this heavy metal tube fly through the air! | 1.2289 | 0.05508 | 83 | 67 | 13 | 3 |
1343 | And with just a quick wave of this wand,I can make your luggage disappear. | 1.2289 | 0.05508 | 83 | 67 | 13 | 3 |
1344 | Not even I can make airline food edible. | 1.2289 | 0.05508 | 83 | 67 | 13 | 3 |
1345 | And for my next trick, we’ll be departing… on time! | 1.2289 | 0.05508 | 83 | 67 | 13 | 3 |
1346 | And for my next trick, I’m going to make this plane depart on time! | 1.2289 | 0.05769 | 83 | 68 | 11 | 4 |
1347 | Why don't you come with me little girl, on a magic carpet ride? | 1.2286 | 0.05055 | 70 | 54 | 16 | 0 |
1348 | We will only be stuck on the runaway for three magical hours! | 1.2286 | 0.05449 | 70 | 55 | 14 | 1 |
1349 | I suspect this is a joke at the expense of flight attendants; fuck that. Flight crews are overworked, underpaid, overexposed to every pathogen floating around. The airlines treat them like garbage and with the same contempt they have for passengers. | 1.2286 | 0.05783 | 105 | 90 | 6 | 9 |
1350 | And for my next trick, I will fit at 7 foot tall man into a seat with only 30 inches of legroom! | 1.2286 | 0.06490 | 70 | 58 | 8 | 4 |
1351 | Ta-dah! Your luggage has vanished! | 1.2283 | 0.05377 | 92 | 75 | 13 | 4 |
1352 | The captain says this works best for gaining altitude... | 1.2283 | 0.05595 | 92 | 76 | 11 | 5 |
1353 | Now close your eyes and imagine your luggage arriving at your destination. | 1.2283 | 0.05377 | 92 | 75 | 13 | 4 |
1354 | Alaca-no-more-crying-babies-zam | 1.2278 | 0.05390 | 79 | 63 | 14 | 2 |
1355 | We're already there! | 1.2278 | 0.05390 | 79 | 63 | 14 | 2 |
1356 | It takes magic to depart on time | 1.2278 | 0.05079 | 79 | 62 | 16 | 1 |
1357 | And now, out of thin air, I will conjure a $75 fee. | 1.2278 | 0.05390 | 79 | 63 | 14 | 2 |
1358 | Nothing up my sleeve except injection site redness and swelling. | 1.2278 | 0.05079 | 79 | 62 | 16 | 1 |
1359 | I will now fasten all of your seatbelts. | 1.2278 | 0.05961 | 79 | 65 | 10 | 4 |
1360 | In the event of an emergnecy, please do magic on yourself first then assist others with your magic. | 1.2278 | 0.06483 | 79 | 67 | 6 | 6 |
1361 | I call this trick “the illusion we are taking off on-time!” | 1.2278 | 0.05390 | 79 | 63 | 14 | 2 |
1362 | Who needs safety features when we have magic? | 1.2278 | 0.05683 | 79 | 64 | 12 | 3 |
1363 | And for my next act, I will assure that no child will kick a seat, cry, or need a diaper change for the duration of the flight. | 1.2277 | 0.05050 | 101 | 82 | 15 | 4 |
1364 | ...and for my next trick, we're all going to enter the Bermuda Triangle. | 1.2277 | 0.05050 | 101 | 82 | 15 | 4 |
1365 | I wear this in hopes of deterring angry customers from punching me in the face again. I just want to do my job. | 1.2277 | 0.05243 | 101 | 83 | 13 | 5 |
1366 | And now, 5 hours of your life will vanish before your eyes. | 1.2273 | 0.05041 | 88 | 70 | 16 | 2 |
1367 | Thank you for flying Budget Airways! Now who wants to see their dignity reappear? | 1.2273 | 0.05766 | 88 | 73 | 10 | 5 |
1368 | And for my next trick, I'll make the landing gear disappear! | 1.2273 | 0.05294 | 88 | 71 | 14 | 3 |
1369 | I'm going to give you all 2 more inches of foot room...I hope this works! | 1.2273 | 0.04775 | 88 | 69 | 18 | 1 |
1370 | And with a wave of the wand all your seats have returned to an upright position! | 1.2273 | 0.05294 | 88 | 71 | 14 | 3 |
1371 | Ladies and gentleman, I just made all the food trays disappear! | 1.2273 | 0.04775 | 88 | 69 | 18 | 1 |
1372 | Your In-Flight entertainment is meee | 1.2273 | 0.05535 | 88 | 72 | 12 | 4 |
1373 | Just wait till you see how I stick the landing! | 1.2268 | 0.05182 | 97 | 79 | 14 | 4 |
1374 | The passengers could not have hoped for a more entertaining or murderous hijacker than Bwren. | 1.2268 | 0.05386 | 97 | 80 | 12 | 5 |
1375 | Watch now as I make your will to live disappear! | 1.2268 | 0.05182 | 97 | 79 | 14 | 4 |
1376 | For my next trick your seat belts must be fastened. | 1.2268 | 0.04750 | 97 | 77 | 18 | 2 |
1377 | It's called levitation. Your belief in my powers keeps us aloft. | 1.2268 | 0.05182 | 97 | 79 | 14 | 4 |
1378 | Of course, all planes run on magic anyway. | 1.2267 | 0.05874 | 75 | 61 | 11 | 3 |
1379 | Watch as I make legroom disappear. | 1.2267 | 0.05224 | 75 | 59 | 15 | 1 |
1380 | Next, I shall make us fly. | 1.2267 | 0.06458 | 75 | 63 | 7 | 5 |
1381 | Now watch your checked baggage disappear. | 1.2267 | 0.05874 | 75 | 61 | 11 | 3 |
1382 | Don't make my bags disappear! | 1.2267 | 0.05874 | 75 | 61 | 11 | 3 |
1383 | I put a spell on you,and now you’re poliiiiiiiite. | 1.2262 | 0.05952 | 84 | 70 | 9 | 5 |
1384 | Who wants the pilot to reappear? | 1.2262 | 0.05706 | 84 | 69 | 11 | 4 |
1385 | My right arm is broken!!! | 1.2262 | 0.05706 | 84 | 69 | 11 | 4 |
1386 | You'll only wish we sawed you in half | 1.2262 | 0.05449 | 84 | 68 | 13 | 3 |
1387 | … and now I'll make your luggage disappear. Oops, too late. | 1.2262 | 0.05449 | 84 | 68 | 13 | 3 |
1388 | My next trick will cost you $35 or 3,500 frequent flier miles | 1.2262 | 0.05952 | 84 | 70 | 9 | 5 |
1389 | And with a wave of my wand, you're still in coach! | 1.2262 | 0.05179 | 84 | 67 | 15 | 2 |
1390 | We are experiencing a staff shortage , so we multi task on all our economy flights. | 1.2262 | 0.05449 | 84 | 68 | 13 | 3 |
1391 | Poof! Now no one can recline their seat onto your lap! | 1.2254 | 0.06084 | 71 | 58 | 10 | 3 |
1392 | Alakazam! Lunch will taste like chicken AND fish! | 1.2250 | 0.05893 | 80 | 66 | 10 | 4 |
1393 | Who needs wings? | 1.2250 | 0.06156 | 80 | 67 | 8 | 5 |
1394 | By this magic wand, I shall disappear until landing" | 1.2250 | 0.05618 | 80 | 65 | 12 | 3 |
1395 | And now my best almost impossible trick - We will be landing on time!!! | 1.2250 | 0.05618 | 80 | 65 | 12 | 3 |
1396 | But clearly our left engine is even better at making doves disappear. | 1.2250 | 0.05893 | 80 | 66 | 10 | 4 |
1397 | For my next trick I will make you believe you are comfortable. | 1.2250 | 0.05893 | 80 | 66 | 10 | 4 |
1398 | All waits over two hours on the tarmac now come with entertainment. | 1.2250 | 0.05893 | 80 | 66 | 10 | 4 |
1399 | And your checked bags have disappeared. | 1.2250 | 0.05329 | 80 | 64 | 14 | 2 |
1400 | Well, actually I flunked out of flight school. But as your copilot, I have extra skills that should comfort you!" | 1.2247 | 0.05240 | 89 | 72 | 14 | 3 |
1401 | Aren't you the pilot?" | 1.2247 | 0.05240 | 89 | 72 | 14 | 3 |
1402 | Would this 600,000-pound death machine be flying through the air if we didn't have MAGIC? | 1.2247 | 0.04990 | 89 | 71 | 16 | 2 |
1403 | Anything else needs to fit into the overhead bin? | 1.2247 | 0.05707 | 89 | 74 | 10 | 5 |
1404 | My next trick? After we land we are going to somehow force another seat into your row! | 1.2245 | 0.05335 | 98 | 81 | 12 | 5 |
1405 | Tada! Inflight movies not available. | 1.2239 | 0.06316 | 67 | 55 | 9 | 3 |
1406 | For my next trick, an entire flight without a deeply disturbing smartphone scene. | 1.2239 | 0.06316 | 67 | 55 | 9 | 3 |
1407 | I will now magically double your fares. | 1.2237 | 0.05164 | 76 | 60 | 15 | 1 |
1408 | It’s the only way everything fits in the overhead bins. | 1.2237 | 0.05493 | 76 | 61 | 13 | 2 |
1409 | For my next trick, I'll make your dignity disappear. | 1.2237 | 0.05803 | 76 | 62 | 11 | 3 |
1410 | it'll be a magical journey | 1.2237 | 0.05493 | 76 | 61 | 13 | 2 |
1411 | Click your heels twice and we will reroute to Kansas. | 1.2237 | 0.06098 | 76 | 63 | 9 | 4 |
1412 | I can’t turn this into a first class cabin or get rid of the middle seat but I can change the cookies for nuts! | 1.2237 | 0.05164 | 76 | 60 | 15 | 1 |
1413 | And just like Oprah's magic: YOU get bonus leg room; and YOU get free wine; and YOU get a pet bunny (check under your seat). | 1.2237 | 0.05493 | 76 | 61 | 13 | 2 |
1414 | And, with just one swipe of my magic wand, I will make airline food enjoyable | 1.2237 | 0.05164 | 76 | 60 | 15 | 1 |
1415 | Now that I have made you believe you have enough elbow room, we will be serving a hot meal! | 1.2237 | 0.05803 | 76 | 62 | 11 | 3 |
1416 | ...and now I will make the pilot reappear. | 1.2237 | 0.05493 | 76 | 61 | 13 | 2 |
1417 | Sorry, there is no magic powerful enough to make that kid stop kicking the back of your set. | 1.2237 | 0.05803 | 76 | 62 | 11 | 3 |
1418 | Presto Chango! It’s not turbulence! It’s a massage chair! | 1.2237 | 0.05493 | 76 | 61 | 13 | 2 |
1419 | Nothing up my sleeve, you will sleep… | 1.2235 | 0.05125 | 85 | 68 | 15 | 2 |
1420 | And for my next trick, never before accomplished, I will get us off the ground on schedule! | 1.2235 | 0.05645 | 85 | 70 | 11 | 4 |
1421 | We'll have a happy landing! | 1.2235 | 0.05125 | 85 | 68 | 15 | 2 |
1422 | You're in Economy, you were expecting Hugh Jackman? | 1.2235 | 0.05391 | 85 | 69 | 13 | 3 |
1423 | Abracadabra, your food is now magically delicious!! | 1.2235 | 0.05391 | 85 | 69 | 13 | 3 |
1424 | Three wishes are included in your ticket price | 1.2235 | 0.05645 | 85 | 70 | 11 | 4 |
1425 | At Abracadabra, we aim to restore the magic of air travel. | 1.2235 | 0.05888 | 85 | 71 | 9 | 5 |
1426 | And for my next trick, I’ll make your legroom dissapear! | 1.2235 | 0.05391 | 85 | 69 | 13 | 3 |
1427 | And for my next trick, the airline will charge you an entertainment fee. | 1.2235 | 0.05391 | 85 | 69 | 13 | 3 |
1428 | And now I'll make any sense of confort disappear. | 1.2234 | 0.05273 | 94 | 77 | 13 | 4 |
1429 | Listen to my voice. We do not have engine trouble. The sound you hear is your neighbor snoring. We do not have engine trouble... | 1.2234 | 0.05052 | 94 | 76 | 15 | 3 |
1430 | Welcome to American Airlines Got Talent! | 1.2234 | 0.05052 | 94 | 76 | 15 | 3 |
1431 | Et voila! The inflight meal gone forever! | 1.2234 | 0.05691 | 94 | 79 | 9 | 6 |
1432 | Your bags have disappeared! For 20 bucks, they can reappear! | 1.2234 | 0.05052 | 94 | 76 | 15 | 3 |
1433 | …and that’s how oxygen masks appear! Now, two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left, and two Wrights made an airplane… Am I right, people!? Don’t forget to tip your server. | 1.2234 | 0.05273 | 94 | 77 | 13 | 4 |
1434 | And voila! Your checked bags are now in Phoenix. Enjoy your stay in Seattle. | 1.2233 | 0.05332 | 103 | 86 | 11 | 6 |
1435 | The captain would like to know if anyone is really good at making wishes. | 1.2233 | 0.04766 | 103 | 83 | 17 | 3 |
1436 | Now watch me make your luggage disappear. | 1.2222 | 0.05672 | 72 | 58 | 12 | 2 |
1437 | Our flight time will be approximately two hours but seem much longer. | 1.2222 | 0.06007 | 72 | 59 | 10 | 3 |
1438 | For my next trick, I'll make the crying baby in 11b stop crying. | 1.2222 | 0.05286 | 99 | 82 | 12 | 5 |
1439 | If you see something, say something | 1.2222 | 0.05672 | 72 | 58 | 12 | 2 |
1440 | Abracadabra! We made your bags disappear. | 1.2222 | 0.06086 | 81 | 68 | 8 | 5 |
1441 | For my next trick, I will turn tiny bags of mini-pretzels into lobster rolls. | 1.2222 | 0.06334 | 81 | 69 | 6 | 6 |
1442 | I am practicing for an upcoming audition and need a captive audience. | 1.2222 | 0.05827 | 81 | 67 | 10 | 4 |
1443 | First class comes with everything you could wish for. | 1.2222 | 0.05827 | 81 | 67 | 10 | 4 |
1444 | I found that people actually listen to the safety instructions when I do this. | 1.2222 | 0.05188 | 90 | 73 | 14 | 3 |
1445 | One, Two, Three, We arrived. | 1.2222 | 0.06007 | 72 | 59 | 10 | 3 |
1446 | Harry Potter Lives! | 1.2222 | 0.05672 | 72 | 58 | 12 | 2 |
1447 | So you want to know about the disappearing frequent flier miles? | 1.2222 | 0.05672 | 72 | 58 | 12 | 2 |
1448 | In the event of an emergency, a rabbit will appear in front of you and become your personal comfort animal. | 1.2222 | 0.05648 | 90 | 75 | 10 | 5 |
1449 | For a small fee, we are now happy to saw you in half and double your leg room. | 1.2222 | 0.04969 | 81 | 64 | 16 | 1 |
1450 | And for my next trick... Your bags will magically appear on the luggage carousel on time and undamaged! | 1.2222 | 0.05827 | 81 | 67 | 10 | 4 |
1451 | And for tonight's in flight entertainment we have... | 1.2222 | 0.05188 | 90 | 73 | 14 | 3 |
1452 | What can I conjure up for you, little lady? | 1.2222 | 0.05556 | 81 | 66 | 12 | 3 |
1453 | And THAT'S how you get a rollerboard in the overhead compartment! | 1.2222 | 0.05270 | 81 | 65 | 14 | 2 |
1454 | My automatic pilot said I could try a new trick... | 1.2222 | 0.06007 | 72 | 59 | 10 | 3 |
1455 | And for my next trick I will get everyone to understand what wheels first means in the overhead bins. | 1.2222 | 0.06086 | 81 | 68 | 8 | 5 |
1456 | Take out a credit card, any credit card! | 1.2222 | 0.05270 | 81 | 65 | 14 | 2 |
1457 | My tricks are non-stop and I work for peanuts. | 1.2212 | 0.05105 | 104 | 86 | 13 | 5 |
1458 | Legroom can neither be created nor destroyed, so we just convert it into other more useful forms of energy, like magic and anger! | 1.2209 | 0.05585 | 86 | 71 | 11 | 4 |
1459 | And he had left his cockpit... | 1.2209 | 0.05335 | 86 | 70 | 13 | 3 |
1460 | Behold ! …the flying stick ! | 1.2209 | 0.05585 | 86 | 71 | 11 | 4 |
1461 | Watch me make the kid behind you kicking your chair disappear. | 1.2209 | 0.05585 | 86 | 71 | 11 | 4 |
1462 | Look carefully at my wand and you will stop caring that the seats were moved even closer to one another than the last time you flew. | 1.2209 | 0.05335 | 86 | 70 | 13 | 3 |
1463 | Presto; Less seat space, Less leg room! | 1.2209 | 0.05072 | 86 | 69 | 15 | 2 |
1464 | I'm here to reschedule your flight. | 1.2209 | 0.05335 | 86 | 70 | 13 | 3 |
1465 | "Levitation is my specialty, but I'm still working on getting to cruising altitude. | 1.2209 | 0.05335 | 86 | 70 | 13 | 3 |
1466 | For my next trick, I'll make your ears pop! | 1.2208 | 0.05104 | 77 | 61 | 15 | 1 |
1467 | And should you become unruly, know that this wand doubles as a cattle prod. | 1.2208 | 0.06303 | 77 | 65 | 7 | 5 |
1468 | Your crew is on a stage in Las Vegas. | 1.2208 | 0.05429 | 77 | 62 | 13 | 2 |
1469 | Have to practice somewhere! | 1.2208 | 0.05735 | 77 | 63 | 11 | 3 |
1470 | I'm just wild about Harry ! ... | 1.2208 | 0.06026 | 77 | 64 | 9 | 4 |
1471 | Wanna see a magic landing? | 1.2208 | 0.05735 | 77 | 63 | 11 | 3 |
1472 | You are now in first class | 1.2208 | 0.05104 | 77 | 61 | 15 | 1 |
1473 | Please use your own magic wand before assisting others | 1.2208 | 0.05735 | 77 | 63 | 11 | 3 |
1474 | One more try to get the pilots back for the landing. | 1.2206 | 0.05482 | 68 | 54 | 13 | 1 |
1475 | And for my next trick, I'll take away what dignity remains. | 1.2206 | 0.06574 | 68 | 57 | 7 | 4 |
1476 | . . . and the Prime Rib comes rare, medium, and . . . | 1.2206 | 0.05869 | 68 | 55 | 11 | 2 |
1477 | A little bit of column A, a little bit of column B! | 1.2206 | 0.06231 | 68 | 56 | 9 | 3 |
1478 | Presto! My luggage now takes up the entire overhead bin! | 1.2206 | 0.05869 | 68 | 55 | 11 | 2 |
1479 | We're leaving 15 minutes late, and presto! We're arriving 15 minutes early. | 1.2198 | 0.05369 | 91 | 75 | 12 | 4 |
1480 | And now, I will make your checked luggage disappear | 1.2198 | 0.05369 | 91 | 75 | 12 | 4 |
1481 | When I wave this wand, each seat will be three inches wider. | 1.2198 | 0.05806 | 91 | 77 | 8 | 6 |
1482 | And voila! Your legroom is gone. | 1.2198 | 0.05136 | 91 | 74 | 14 | 3 |
1483 | Say “Abracadabra” and the Wi-Fi will work seamlessly! | 1.2198 | 0.05136 | 91 | 74 | 14 | 3 |
1484 | ...and hey presto, your lugage has disappeared. | 1.2195 | 0.05494 | 82 | 67 | 12 | 3 |
1485 | In lieu of movies on this aircraft, I'll be entertaining you with a few magic tricks. I've already made your baggage disappear! | 1.2195 | 0.06017 | 82 | 69 | 8 | 5 |
1486 | For my next trick, I'll be turning a frozen shoe sole into our dinner service entree. | 1.2195 | 0.05213 | 82 | 66 | 14 | 2 |
1487 | And just like that… I will make your luggage disappear. | 1.2195 | 0.05762 | 82 | 68 | 10 | 4 |
1488 | Can you check under your seats for a rabbit? | 1.2195 | 0.05762 | 82 | 68 | 10 | 4 |
1489 | Abracadabra! We’ll take off and land on time, that baby won’t cry, your luggage will….ha ha ha | 1.2192 | 0.06244 | 73 | 61 | 8 | 4 |
1490 | … and now, to answer the questions about ‘what keeps this big plane in the air…’ | 1.2192 | 0.05932 | 73 | 60 | 10 | 3 |
1491 | I've magically cut your legroom in half, and now I'll make your check-in luggage disappear! | 1.2192 | 0.05932 | 73 | 60 | 10 | 3 |
1492 | We like to call it our magical, mystical tour! | 1.2192 | 0.05602 | 73 | 59 | 12 | 2 |
1493 | This was easier than getting open-mic slots. | 1.2192 | 0.05602 | 73 | 59 | 12 | 2 |
1494 | And unless you have a better explanation. That is how an airplane flies. | 1.2192 | 0.06244 | 73 | 61 | 8 | 4 |
1495 | Poof! We're in Pittsburgh. | 1.2192 | 0.05932 | 73 | 60 | 10 | 3 |
1496 | For my next trick, I'm going to throw this child out of the window! | 1.2192 | 0.06542 | 73 | 62 | 6 | 5 |
1497 | In case you were wondering how this things stays in the air. | 1.2192 | 0.05602 | 73 | 59 | 12 | 2 |
1498 | Abracadabra… Alakazam! We are officially duty-free! | 1.2188 | 0.06087 | 64 | 52 | 10 | 2 |
1499 | I’ll cut the doves loose in a minute. I call it The Miracle of Flight. | 1.2188 | 0.06087 | 64 | 52 | 10 | 2 |
1500 | Welcome to Dirt Cheap Airlines. My name is Tarmac the Magician. I am your entertainment in lieu of movies. | 1.2188 | 0.05381 | 96 | 80 | 11 | 5 |
1501 | For my next illusion, I’ll make ONE of your checked bags reappear! | 1.2184 | 0.05279 | 87 | 71 | 13 | 3 |
1502 | Abracadabra, Bernoulli's principal is now a scientific fact. | 1.2184 | 0.05019 | 87 | 70 | 15 | 2 |
1503 | Sorry, TSA confiscated the rabbit in my hat | 1.2184 | 0.05279 | 87 | 71 | 13 | 3 |
1504 | My next trick is turning on the seatbelt sign! | 1.2184 | 0.05526 | 87 | 72 | 11 | 4 |
1505 | What did you think was keeping us up here? | 1.2184 | 0.05526 | 87 | 72 | 11 | 4 |
1506 | Dead engine ! No problem. This should do the trick. | 1.2184 | 0.05763 | 87 | 73 | 9 | 5 |
1507 | This plane travels at Warp Speed so we will be in Los Angeles in four minutes. | 1.2179 | 0.06228 | 78 | 66 | 7 | 5 |
1508 | Not only will we take off on time but your baggage will be at your destination. Just kidding! | 1.2179 | 0.05366 | 78 | 63 | 13 | 2 |
1509 | So that’s how the luggage always disappears. | 1.2179 | 0.05954 | 78 | 65 | 9 | 4 |
1510 | And now, I will work the strongest illusion of all, making you enjoy this trip! | 1.2179 | 0.05366 | 78 | 63 | 13 | 2 |
1511 | Billy sit down before you get us kicked off the plane | 1.2179 | 0.05668 | 78 | 64 | 11 | 3 |
1512 | Now, watch closely as we fly over the Bermuda triangle... | 1.2179 | 0.05366 | 78 | 63 | 13 | 2 |
1513 | Welcome aboard. It's just me! | 1.2179 | 0.05366 | 78 | 63 | 13 | 2 |
1514 | Watch me pull a drunk and disorderly passenger out of my hat! | 1.2179 | 0.06490 | 78 | 67 | 5 | 6 |
1515 | I'm your flying fairy and I've got the magic wand to prove it. | 1.2179 | 0.05954 | 78 | 65 | 9 | 4 |
1516 | Now we continue with autopilot 😁 | 1.2179 | 0.05668 | 78 | 64 | 11 | 3 |
1517 | The takeoff was great and for my next trick the plane will land itself without a pilot" | 1.2178 | 0.04582 | 101 | 81 | 18 | 2 |
1518 | We will now be magically travelling through time, over the dateline. | 1.2174 | 0.05315 | 92 | 76 | 12 | 4 |
1519 | My first trick is to stop that child sitting behind you from kicking the back of your seat. | 1.2174 | 0.04845 | 92 | 74 | 16 | 2 |
1520 | And voila! The flight will now be departing 7:39… this evening! | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
1521 | Ta da! No more middle seat! | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
1522 | Due to recent Supreme Court decisions, we are no longer allowed to provide you with life vests. In the unlikely event of a water landing, | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
1523 | For my next trick, airplane food that tastes good. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
1524 | And for my next magical trick, I'll put your luggage on a flight to Ulaanbaatar! | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
1525 | For my next trick, I'll pull a comfort support rabbit from under my hat | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
1526 | And for my next trick, I'll make your carbon footprint disappear! | 1.2174 | 0.05747 | 92 | 78 | 8 | 6 |
1527 | At the count of three,your seat will turn into a lay-flay bed and the caviar service will commence. | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
1528 | On the count of three I will attempt to land this plane. | 1.2174 | 0.05315 | 92 | 76 | 12 | 4 |
1529 | I'm here for the Berkowitz bar mitzvah. | 1.2174 | 0.07113 | 69 | 60 | 3 | 6 |
1530 | And, poof - all your luggage is going to Grand Rapids! | 1.2174 | 0.05086 | 92 | 75 | 14 | 3 |
1531 | Nothin’ up mah sleeve…no peanuts, cookies, or snacks of any kind. | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
1532 | ABRACADABRA! For a $7 up-charge you can see my amateur magic act! | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
1533 | watch you're oxygen masks will magically appear as we hurdle toward the ground. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
1534 | Who said flying isn’t as much fun as it used to be? | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
1535 | Welcome to Spirit Airlines! My name is Jeff and I'll be conducting your séance this flight. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
1536 | You have been upgraded to broom closet class where all your leg room complaints will be magically ignored!! | 1.2174 | 0.06807 | 69 | 59 | 5 | 5 |
1537 | And, presto, now your bags are in Dallas! | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
1538 | And if you check, you’ll find that your luggage is now gone | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
1539 | And wah-lah, no pilot.” | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
1540 | Abracadabra! I'll make your airsick bag reappear! | 1.2169 | 0.05434 | 83 | 68 | 12 | 3 |
1541 | When you wake, that feeling in your back will be a deep tissue massage. | 1.2169 | 0.05434 | 83 | 68 | 12 | 3 |
1542 | For my next trick, I shall give you the exact same amount of legroom! | 1.2169 | 0.05156 | 83 | 67 | 14 | 2 |
1543 | Tray tables up, seats forward, seat belts fastened, and LEVITATION! | 1.2169 | 0.05156 | 83 | 67 | 14 | 2 |
1544 | I'm in luck! They can't figure out how to play the movie. | 1.2169 | 0.05698 | 83 | 69 | 10 | 4 |
1545 | Even though you folks were too cheap to pay for a movie, this airline has graciously allowed you to be entertained by me ! | 1.2169 | 0.05698 | 83 | 69 | 10 | 4 |
1546 | You get an upgrade! You get an upgrade! | 1.2169 | 0.05156 | 83 | 67 | 14 | 2 |
1547 | Welcome to Houdini Airlines, where we have business class, economy class, and magic class. | 1.2165 | 0.04687 | 97 | 78 | 17 | 2 |
1548 | Maybe he'll pull an on-time arrival out of his hat? | 1.2162 | 0.05858 | 74 | 61 | 10 | 3 |
1549 | In the event of a water landing, the plane will — voila! — turn into a boat. | 1.2162 | 0.06166 | 74 | 62 | 8 | 4 |
1550 | And your luggage will arrive as planned | 1.2162 | 0.06460 | 74 | 63 | 6 | 5 |
1551 | I'm here to enhance the fun . .an anti Randarian . .who won't carry on .. .. if a nazi attendant pinches a bun . . | 1.2162 | 0.06166 | 74 | 62 | 8 | 4 |
1552 | Just look here and… poof… no memory of your flight from hell. | 1.2162 | 0.05858 | 74 | 61 | 10 | 3 |
1553 | And instead of having a food service, you have me, Magic Tom to keep you amused for the next 6 hours. | 1.2162 | 0.05533 | 74 | 60 | 12 | 2 |
1554 | See this free meal? ... Gone! | 1.2162 | 0.05533 | 74 | 60 | 12 | 2 |
1555 | Now, I will return us to the magical days of airplane travel!!! | 1.2159 | 0.04968 | 88 | 71 | 15 | 2 |
1556 | And now I'll make oxygen masks seemingly appear from nowhere... | 1.2159 | 0.05469 | 88 | 73 | 11 | 4 |
1557 | And for my next trick I’ll land it blindfolded ! | 1.2159 | 0.05225 | 88 | 72 | 13 | 3 |
1558 | And now, watch me pull an actually edible snack out of my hat. | 1.2159 | 0.05225 | 88 | 72 | 13 | 3 |
1559 | 'This airline isn't so bad--sure, the entertainment isn't amazing, but the jugglers in baggage handling were fine with three bags a person, and the mime at the ticket counter never said anything about my support balloon animal.' | 1.2159 | 0.05225 | 88 | 72 | 13 | 3 |
1560 | For my next trick, I will pretend like I don't know that absolutely everyone already knows how to buckle a safety belt. | 1.2154 | 0.06002 | 65 | 53 | 10 | 2 |
1561 | a new take on inflight entertainment | 1.2154 | 0.06390 | 65 | 54 | 8 | 3 |
1562 | And now, defying all the laws of physics, common sense, and self-preservation, this plane will lift off the ground and hurtle through the sky. | 1.2154 | 0.06002 | 65 | 53 | 10 | 2 |
1563 | Ta-Da! Your leg room has disappeared. | 1.2154 | 0.06390 | 65 | 54 | 8 | 3 |
1564 | If you fuck with me you'll be sorry. | 1.2154 | 0.06002 | 65 | 53 | 10 | 2 |
1565 | I hear he started this act so that he could get his pet rabbit certified as a service animal. | 1.2154 | 0.06002 | 65 | 53 | 10 | 2 |
1566 | If the Karen won’t exit the aircraft, then…avada kedavra | 1.2154 | 0.06390 | 65 | 54 | 8 | 3 |
1567 | Abracadabra! 123! This is how to sit in your seats! Listen to me! | 1.2152 | 0.05885 | 79 | 66 | 9 | 4 |
1568 | Yes, the Irish attendants are just a little different.. | 1.2152 | 0.04990 | 79 | 63 | 15 | 1 |
1569 | And "presto," the leg room, free drink, and snacks disappear! | 1.2152 | 0.05603 | 79 | 65 | 11 | 3 |
1570 | And for my next trick, I'm going to summon an ontime departure out of Newark | 1.2152 | 0.05305 | 79 | 64 | 13 | 2 |
1571 | Pick a safety card, any safety card… | 1.2152 | 0.05885 | 79 | 66 | 9 | 4 |
1572 | And now, watch as I make all your luggage disappear! | 1.2152 | 0.05885 | 79 | 66 | 9 | 4 |
1573 | Any volunteers? Maybe the crying baby in 4B? | 1.2152 | 0.05885 | 79 | 66 | 9 | 4 |
1574 | And for all of you in coach… I will now make your leg room disappear. | 1.2152 | 0.04990 | 79 | 63 | 15 | 1 |
1575 | And abracadabra… a bag of pretzels you don’t want! | 1.2150 | 0.04793 | 107 | 88 | 15 | 4 |
1576 | ...and in the magical event of a "water landing"... | 1.2143 | 0.05636 | 84 | 70 | 10 | 4 |
1577 | The real trick is going an entire flight without a baby crying. | 1.2143 | 0.05101 | 84 | 68 | 14 | 2 |
1578 | And now for our greatest trick, actually landing the plane. | 1.2143 | 0.04812 | 84 | 67 | 16 | 1 |
1579 | Abracadabra, Autopilot! | 1.2143 | 0.05101 | 84 | 68 | 14 | 2 |
1580 | With this wand I can make you all sober and well-behaved. | 1.2143 | 0.05342 | 70 | 56 | 13 | 1 |
1581 | And for this next trick all of your luggage will magically be rerouted to Detroit | 1.2143 | 0.05475 | 98 | 83 | 9 | 6 |
1582 | I am here to explain what to do in the case of a water landing. | 1.2143 | 0.05101 | 84 | 68 | 14 | 2 |
1583 | Sirs and madams, a mere donation to keep the child from crying. | 1.2143 | 0.06068 | 70 | 58 | 9 | 3 |
1584 | I am the magician who made the food and service disappear overnight! | 1.2143 | 0.04812 | 84 | 67 | 16 | 1 |
1585 | And for my next act, I will make your legroom disappear. | 1.2143 | 0.06400 | 70 | 59 | 7 | 4 |
1586 | and now…I will shift the baggage in your overhead compartment right before your very eyes. | 1.2143 | 0.05342 | 70 | 56 | 13 | 1 |
1587 | Federal regulations require that you politely watch my magic act for the duration of the flight. | 1.2143 | 0.04940 | 70 | 55 | 15 | 0 |
1588 | You can have anything but leg room, free luggage, free beverage, free seat selection, or any personal dignity. | 1.2143 | 0.05375 | 84 | 69 | 12 | 3 |
1589 | Rabbit or dove sir?” @aaamanda | 1.2143 | 0.05342 | 70 | 56 | 13 | 1 |
1590 | Hey, passengers, watch me pull an upcharge out of my hat! | 1.2135 | 0.05171 | 89 | 73 | 13 | 3 |
1591 | For my next trick, all your luggage will disappear. | 1.2135 | 0.05412 | 89 | 74 | 11 | 4 |
1592 | I will now grant everyone's wish to have both an aisle & window seat. | 1.2135 | 0.04651 | 89 | 71 | 17 | 1 |
1593 | You're carry-on will disappear with your luggage! | 1.2135 | 0.05412 | 89 | 74 | 11 | 4 |
1594 | And for my next trick, I’ll make this child cry for the next 3 hours. | 1.2133 | 0.06090 | 75 | 63 | 8 | 4 |
1595 | All aboard for the Magical Misery Tour! | 1.2133 | 0.05467 | 75 | 61 | 12 | 2 |
1596 | Those bags of yours at baggage claim… he presto…gone. | 1.2133 | 0.05467 | 75 | 61 | 12 | 2 |
1597 | What were you expecting? The cast of Cats? | 1.2133 | 0.05787 | 75 | 62 | 10 | 3 |
1598 | I will now make the passenger sitting next to you, to whom you don't wish to speak, disappear! | 1.2133 | 0.06090 | 75 | 63 | 8 | 4 |
1599 | For you in-flight meal this evening, we offer a choice of rabbit or dove. | 1.2133 | 0.05467 | 75 | 61 | 12 | 2 |
1600 | The airline calculated that I'm cheaper than offering seat-back entertainment systems. | 1.2133 | 0.05787 | 75 | 62 | 10 | 3 |
1601 | I can get us there in the blink of an eye. | 1.2133 | 0.06379 | 75 | 64 | 6 | 5 |
1602 | At the count of three, we will be delayed another three seconds! | 1.2133 | 0.05467 | 75 | 61 | 12 | 2 |
1603 | This is just for disabling the Wi-Fi. | 1.2133 | 0.05787 | 75 | 62 | 10 | 3 |
1604 | Hi folks, now you'll find out why we're so cheap. | 1.2133 | 0.06090 | 75 | 63 | 8 | 4 |
1605 | And for my next trick, I will make your patience disappear. | 1.2133 | 0.05467 | 75 | 61 | 12 | 2 |
1606 | And poof! Your luggage is back in Newark. | 1.2133 | 0.05787 | 75 | 62 | 10 | 3 |
1607 | When I say abracadabra, you will think you have enough leg room… | 1.2133 | 0.05467 | 75 | 61 | 12 | 2 |
1608 | Ok, let's say it louder, "I believe we can fly!" | 1.2128 | 0.04752 | 94 | 76 | 16 | 2 |
1609 | I can change your destination to any place in any nation | 1.2128 | 0.05427 | 94 | 79 | 10 | 5 |
1610 | FYI: I WISH THE TOILETS WERE WORKING… | 1.2125 | 0.05817 | 80 | 67 | 9 | 4 |
1611 | Due to rising fuel prices the airline is investing in sustainable and responsible alternatives. Now everyone repeat after me, “Wingardium Leviosa!” | 1.2125 | 0.06083 | 80 | 68 | 7 | 5 |
1612 | And now for the presentation for the "Fear of Flying" workshop. One participant asked, "How can something so massive and heavy take to the air?" The answer: It's magic! | 1.2125 | 0.06338 | 80 | 69 | 5 | 6 |
1613 | And now, for my next trick, I will make your legroom disappear. | 1.2125 | 0.05245 | 80 | 65 | 13 | 2 |
1614 | Using nothing but the power of my magical wand, I am going to put out the fire in the starboard number three when I count to three! | 1.2125 | 0.05245 | 80 | 65 | 13 | 2 |
1615 | No, but I did move them to the rear of the plane. | 1.2125 | 0.05245 | 80 | 65 | 13 | 2 |
1616 | This is your captain speaking. | 1.2125 | 0.05245 | 80 | 65 | 13 | 2 |
1617 | And now it's time for a little flight of hand... | 1.2125 | 0.05245 | 80 | 65 | 13 | 2 |
1618 | And now we will reprice your seats. | 1.2125 | 0.05539 | 80 | 66 | 11 | 3 |
1619 | And remember, I can make your luggage disappear. | 1.2125 | 0.05539 | 80 | 66 | 11 | 3 |
1620 | And next, I'll make your luggage disappear! | 1.2125 | 0.05539 | 80 | 66 | 11 | 3 |
1621 | I'll disappear the first one who throws a punch. | 1.2121 | 0.05511 | 66 | 53 | 12 | 1 |
1622 | How did you think this baby stayed in the air? | 1.2121 | 0.05919 | 66 | 54 | 10 | 2 |
1623 | Who wants to be the pilot and fly this plane? | 1.2121 | 0.06301 | 66 | 55 | 8 | 3 |
1624 | Voila, more leg room! Haha | 1.2118 | 0.05047 | 85 | 69 | 14 | 2 |
1625 | My mother would love this! | 1.2118 | 0.05047 | 85 | 69 | 14 | 2 |
1626 | And now for my most amazing magic trick, I will give you lower fares, more leg room, on-time flights and stellar service. | 1.2118 | 0.05317 | 85 | 70 | 12 | 3 |
1627 | I'll be your inflight entertainment today | 1.2118 | 0.05317 | 85 | 70 | 12 | 3 |
1628 | In case of emergency, just wish upon a star | 1.2113 | 0.05644 | 71 | 58 | 11 | 2 |
1629 | Even my wand is in the full and upright position. | 1.2113 | 0.05990 | 71 | 59 | 9 | 3 |
1630 | Tada! Your luggage will now reappear in the Maldives! | 1.2113 | 0.05644 | 71 | 58 | 11 | 2 |
1631 | So in other words: I'll need to see your ticket, sir. | 1.2113 | 0.05644 | 71 | 58 | 11 | 2 |
1632 | Is there a doctor on board? I've cut my assistant in half. | 1.2113 | 0.05990 | 71 | 59 | 9 | 3 |
1633 | On the count of three,air travel will be fun again. | 1.2113 | 0.05644 | 71 | 58 | 11 | 2 |
1634 | No, no magic in First Class. They pay to keep me away. | 1.2113 | 0.05644 | 71 | 58 | 11 | 2 |
1635 | And just like that *poof*! COVID isn't contagious anymore! | 1.2113 | 0.05990 | 71 | 59 | 9 | 3 |
1636 | ...and POOF, the plane disappears. | 1.2113 | 0.05275 | 71 | 57 | 13 | 1 |
1637 | And for my next trick, I’ll make you pay $30 for a bag of peanuts. | 1.2113 | 0.05644 | 71 | 58 | 11 | 2 |
1638 | … And just like that you’ve gone from economy to first class! | 1.2113 | 0.05644 | 71 | 58 | 11 | 2 |
1639 | And for my next trick, I'll make that baby disappear! | 1.2113 | 0.05990 | 71 | 59 | 9 | 3 |
1640 | Apple Juiceius, Appeariaccio! | 1.2113 | 0.05644 | 71 | 58 | 11 | 2 |
1641 | Fasten your seat belts - I'll say 'hocus pocus' and the plane disappears. | 1.2113 | 0.05990 | 71 | 59 | 9 | 3 |
1642 | Face it. It’s the only way I’ll keep you all happy between here and Fort Lauderdale. | 1.2113 | 0.05275 | 71 | 57 | 13 | 1 |
1643 | Can you please make the crying child behind me disappear? | 1.2113 | 0.04879 | 71 | 56 | 15 | 0 |
1644 | At the count of three, I bring you Amelia Earhart | 1.2111 | 0.05585 | 90 | 76 | 9 | 5 |
1645 | And if any of you opens a window on this red-eye, they'll get a little tap from the magic stun wand. | 1.2111 | 0.05119 | 90 | 74 | 13 | 3 |
1646 | Next folks you will fly through the air at 30,000 ft in an upholstered chair | 1.2110 | 0.04337 | 109 | 88 | 19 | 2 |
1647 | And now I’ll make the pilot reappear… | 1.2105 | 0.05717 | 76 | 63 | 10 | 3 |
1648 | I can get us there in the blink of an eye, or we can sit for 6 hours on the tarmac - your call. | 1.2105 | 0.04940 | 95 | 78 | 14 | 3 |
1649 | On the count of three your checked baggage will land in… Canada! | 1.2105 | 0.04940 | 95 | 78 | 14 | 3 |
1650 | Sorry, it doesn’t do legroom. | 1.2105 | 0.06016 | 76 | 64 | 8 | 4 |
1651 | . . . and that, ladies and gentlemen is how aeroplanes fly. | 1.2105 | 0.05402 | 76 | 62 | 12 | 2 |
1652 | Unfasten your seatbelts!: we're entering the bouncy castle portion of your fun flight! | 1.2105 | 0.06016 | 76 | 64 | 8 | 4 |
1653 | And now I will make you levitate. | 1.2105 | 0.05374 | 95 | 80 | 10 | 5 |
1654 | You can fly! You can fly! You can fly! | 1.2105 | 0.06016 | 76 | 64 | 8 | 4 |
1655 | Abracadabra! Now it's safe to open the bins because they are empty! | 1.2105 | 0.05402 | 76 | 62 | 12 | 2 |
1656 | Pick an airlines safety instruction card, any airlines safety instruction card. | 1.2100 | 0.04984 | 100 | 83 | 13 | 4 |
1657 | For my next trick I will make your expectations of arriving on schedule disappear. | 1.2099 | 0.05476 | 81 | 67 | 11 | 3 |
1658 | And now for my next trick, a completely stress free flight or I could Turn your child into a rabbit. | 1.2099 | 0.05476 | 81 | 67 | 11 | 3 |
1659 | And just like that, we'll have a smooth landing. | 1.2099 | 0.05751 | 81 | 68 | 9 | 4 |
1660 | I can accept tips, but no cash | 1.2099 | 0.05476 | 81 | 67 | 11 | 3 |
1661 | Yes, you have entered the nexus of employer desperation for warm bodies and the thriving gig economy. For my next trick, your dissatisfaction will be silenced by your awareness of the futility of protest. | 1.2099 | 0.05751 | 81 | 68 | 9 | 4 |
1662 | And now--or in 45 minutes--I will make a small glass of ginger ale appear. | 1.2099 | 0.06013 | 81 | 69 | 7 | 5 |
1663 | And now, I will magically increase leg room for the first two rows. | 1.2099 | 0.05187 | 81 | 66 | 13 | 2 |
1664 | For my next trick- getting this baby to shut up. | 1.2099 | 0.05476 | 81 | 67 | 11 | 3 |
1665 | At the count of three,you will no longer feel hungry for the meal we aren’t serving you. | 1.2099 | 0.05476 | 81 | 67 | 11 | 3 |
1666 | ...and just. like that all the children under two have disappeared | 1.2099 | 0.05187 | 81 | 66 | 13 | 2 |
1667 | Voila! I've just made your luggage magically appear in Schenectady! We'll be landing in Akron shortly. | 1.2099 | 0.04880 | 81 | 65 | 15 | 1 |
1668 | ..... and that's the magic of flying! | 1.2099 | 0.04880 | 81 | 65 | 15 | 1 |
1669 | You're in luck today with an all-gay flight crew. | 1.2099 | 0.05476 | 81 | 67 | 11 | 3 |
1670 | I told you we should've taken the silent car. | 1.2099 | 0.04880 | 81 | 65 | 15 | 1 |
1671 | Now watch as I make the pilots reappear. Presto... Presto... PRESTO! | 1.2099 | 0.05476 | 81 | 67 | 11 | 3 |
1672 | I know a lot about ‘cabin pressure’. I’m here all week. | 1.2099 | 0.05751 | 81 | 68 | 9 | 4 |
1673 | We don't have a movie, so: time for magic! | 1.2097 | 0.05697 | 62 | 50 | 11 | 1 |
1674 | For my last trick before landing, all your carry-ons in the overhead compartments will be in the same position as you had placed them before takeoff. | 1.2097 | 0.06560 | 62 | 52 | 7 | 3 |
1675 | And now ladies and gentlemen, I will make your luggage disappear... forever. | 1.2093 | 0.04994 | 86 | 70 | 14 | 2 |
1676 | And for my next trick-- creating legroom and the chance at a beverage | 1.2093 | 0.05261 | 86 | 71 | 12 | 3 |
1677 | And whoever guesses where we will end up landing gets an extra bag of nuts. | 1.2093 | 0.05515 | 86 | 72 | 10 | 4 |
1678 | And for my next trick, the pandemic is over! | 1.2093 | 0.04994 | 86 | 70 | 14 | 2 |
1679 | For my next trick, I'll make our pilot disappear. | 1.2090 | 0.05839 | 67 | 55 | 10 | 2 |
1680 | More legroom? I'm not a miracle worker! | 1.2090 | 0.06214 | 67 | 56 | 8 | 3 |
1681 | one, two, three..and covid doesn’t exist!” Return to pre-pandemic flying feels like magic! | 1.2090 | 0.05438 | 67 | 54 | 12 | 1 |
1682 | Welcome to Wizard Air. Tap your heels together three times for Buffalo. | 1.2090 | 0.05438 | 67 | 54 | 12 | 1 |
1683 | Did someone ask for a second bag of cashews? | 1.2090 | 0.05004 | 67 | 53 | 14 | 0 |
1684 | Et voila! Your child will now behave their self for the entire duration of the flight! Save that one meltdown, wait no, two, or maybe three… | 1.2088 | 0.05068 | 91 | 75 | 13 | 3 |
1685 | This is the captain. Listen up. Pay attention to the flight attendant’s emergency instructions or he’ll turn you into a flight attendant too. He was a passenger on a previous flight so stay awake. | 1.2088 | 0.05303 | 91 | 76 | 11 | 4 |
1686 | No mask only on the plane, ideal for stage artists... | 1.2083 | 0.05210 | 72 | 58 | 13 | 1 |
1687 | Welcome to Magic Air's pilotless airlines | 1.2083 | 0.05573 | 72 | 59 | 11 | 2 |
1688 | well due to a shortage of pilots this magic wand is now our best chance of reaching our destination without an eight hour delay | 1.2083 | 0.05573 | 72 | 59 | 11 | 2 |
1689 | And for my next trick I will appear to be a happy and pleasant employee! | 1.2083 | 0.05573 | 72 | 59 | 11 | 2 |
1690 | Obnoxicus Ductapeia. | 1.2083 | 0.05573 | 72 | 59 | 11 | 2 |
1691 | And, in case of an emergency, You will use the exits to your right and left, while I disappear in a puff of theatrical smoke. | 1.2083 | 0.05913 | 72 | 60 | 9 | 3 |
1692 | Poof. You now have legroom! | 1.2083 | 0.06235 | 72 | 61 | 7 | 4 |
1693 | Next, all the luggage in the overhead compartments will disappear. | 1.2083 | 0.05913 | 72 | 60 | 9 | 3 |
1694 | The pilot called in sick this morning but don't worry. I will be in the cockpit. | 1.2083 | 0.05913 | 72 | 60 | 9 | 3 |
1695 | The pilots have disappeared, but don’t worry, I found the rabbit. | 1.2079 | 0.05324 | 101 | 86 | 9 | 6 |
1696 | Please be careful when opening the overhead bin, as some items may have become YOUR CARD! | 1.2078 | 0.05008 | 77 | 62 | 14 | 1 |
1697 | This is a pilot program. He wants me to pull a landing gear out of my hat! | 1.2078 | 0.05649 | 77 | 64 | 10 | 3 |
1698 | And just like that, the pilot has disappeared. | 1.2078 | 0.05008 | 77 | 62 | 14 | 1 |
1699 | I'm here to distract you from that child kicking the back of your seat! | 1.2078 | 0.05008 | 77 | 62 | 14 | 1 |
1700 | At the count of three, we'll be levitating above 30,000 feet. | 1.2078 | 0.05649 | 77 | 64 | 10 | 3 |
1701 | We are now back in the 1950s so sit back and relax. | 1.2078 | 0.05008 | 77 | 62 | 14 | 1 |
1702 | Watch as I pull a bag of peanuts out of my hat. | 1.2078 | 0.05008 | 77 | 62 | 14 | 1 |
1703 | ....And now to attempt a trick you will hardly ever see these days -- we will land this plane on time! -- and your luggage will appear in the terminal!! | 1.2078 | 0.05649 | 77 | 64 | 10 | 3 |
1704 | Now, watch carefully as your legroom continues to disappear. | 1.2078 | 0.05338 | 77 | 63 | 12 | 2 |
1705 | Just wait. The clown from business class will join me in a minute. | 1.2078 | 0.05008 | 77 | 62 | 14 | 1 |
1706 | And now I will summon a bottled water. Those of you who want a real one, please give the cabin crew $12.00. | 1.2078 | 0.05649 | 77 | 64 | 10 | 3 |
1707 | FAA rules prohibit charming babies, but they say nothing against putting you two into a 5 hour coma. | 1.2078 | 0.05338 | 77 | 63 | 12 | 2 |
1708 | And now, for our next trick, we will make your luggage disappear. | 1.2078 | 0.05649 | 77 | 64 | 10 | 3 |
1709 | And for my next trick, a ticket to where your luggage is actually going!” 🪄 | 1.2078 | 0.05008 | 77 | 62 | 14 | 1 |
1710 | And with this, may your bags arrive at your final destination | 1.2073 | 0.05415 | 82 | 68 | 11 | 3 |
1711 | Well, that's my time, I have a show on another plane in a minute. | 1.2073 | 0.05415 | 82 | 68 | 11 | 3 |
1712 | And for my next trick, I'm going to need four or five volunteers to help me subdue the drunk in seat 23D! | 1.2073 | 0.05415 | 82 | 68 | 11 | 3 |
1713 | In-Flight Entertainment.....Movies not Included | 1.2073 | 0.05415 | 82 | 68 | 11 | 3 |
1714 | Relax and enjoy your flight while we wait on the tarmac. | 1.2073 | 0.05415 | 82 | 68 | 11 | 3 |
1715 | Please Roscoe open the bin I have to land the plane | 1.2073 | 0.05415 | 82 | 68 | 11 | 3 |
1716 | ‘Harry Potter and the Plan B Flight Entertainment’ is about to start. | 1.2073 | 0.05686 | 82 | 69 | 9 | 4 |
1717 | For first class only. Lapin a La Cocotte | 1.2073 | 0.05129 | 82 | 67 | 13 | 2 |
1718 | "Haha. No, sir...your connection is not in my hat. But I might have a tiny bag of pretzels and a third of a soda. | 1.2073 | 0.05415 | 82 | 68 | 11 | 3 |
1719 | And, presto! Your leg room has disappeared. | 1.2073 | 0.04827 | 82 | 66 | 15 | 1 |
1720 | Abracadabra it flies. We have no idea either. Sit back and relax, | 1.2069 | 0.04664 | 87 | 70 | 16 | 1 |
1721 | With any luck and some fairy dust we'll be taking off soon. | 1.2069 | 0.04942 | 87 | 71 | 14 | 2 |
1722 | We make Newark a wonderland! | 1.2065 | 0.05250 | 92 | 77 | 11 | 4 |
1723 | Voila! Your seats are now even smaller! | 1.2065 | 0.04773 | 92 | 75 | 15 | 2 |
1724 | In the unlikely event of a loss of air pressure in the cabin, masks will magically appear above your heads. | 1.2065 | 0.04773 | 92 | 75 | 15 | 2 |
1725 | I'm Tim O'Toole, letting you know that whatever you ask for will require a magical intervention to fulfill. | 1.2063 | 0.06463 | 63 | 53 | 7 | 3 |
1726 | Once this flight gets going and you need something, I am going to make myself disappear! | 1.2063 | 0.05616 | 63 | 51 | 11 | 1 |
1727 | STUPIFY KARIN!!! | 1.2063 | 0.06054 | 63 | 52 | 9 | 2 |
1728 | Mr. Copperfield only works first class. | 1.2062 | 0.04381 | 97 | 78 | 18 | 1 |
1729 | To keep everyone nice and calm, I’ll entertain you with a few tricks | 1.2059 | 0.05760 | 68 | 56 | 10 | 2 |
1730 | I will now pull live snakes out of the overhead storage compartments! | 1.2059 | 0.06478 | 68 | 58 | 6 | 4 |
1731 | And now a good meal will appear! | 1.2059 | 0.04940 | 68 | 54 | 14 | 0 |
1732 | Have you seen a rabbit? | 1.2059 | 0.06130 | 68 | 57 | 8 | 3 |
1733 | For my next trick, I am going to saw all the passengers in Economy Class in half. It won't hurt a bit and you will find it more comfortable. | 1.2059 | 0.04940 | 68 | 54 | 14 | 0 |
1734 | For my next trick, I'm going to make the airplane disappear. | 1.2059 | 0.06130 | 68 | 57 | 8 | 3 |
1735 | We go ‘Uppity Up Up - and then Downity Down Down …. | 1.2059 | 0.05366 | 68 | 55 | 12 | 1 |
1736 | And now some very special magic, sit back and enjoy the flight. | 1.2059 | 0.05366 | 68 | 55 | 12 | 1 |
1737 | In the event of an emergency, the hidden door overhead will open and this magic wand will drop down; use it to grant your wish to land safely. | 1.2059 | 0.06130 | 68 | 57 | 8 | 3 |
1738 | Rabbit's gone, but you can have the chicken or the pasta. | 1.2059 | 0.06478 | 68 | 58 | 6 | 4 |
1739 | Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to distract you from your lingering climate guilt! | 1.2059 | 0.05366 | 68 | 55 | 12 | 1 |
1740 | Prepare to be dazzled with the magic of condescension! | 1.2059 | 0.05366 | 68 | 55 | 12 | 1 |
1741 | For a small additional fee, I will make the baby in the seat behind you disappear | 1.2059 | 0.06478 | 68 | 58 | 6 | 4 |
1742 | Chicken or beef | 1.2059 | 0.05760 | 68 | 56 | 10 | 2 |
1743 | Now for my next trick: The Disappearing Leg Room. | 1.2055 | 0.05839 | 73 | 61 | 9 | 3 |
1744 | Aruba-cadabra! | 1.2055 | 0.05839 | 73 | 61 | 9 | 3 |
1745 | Let’s have a singalong, “Oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang.” | 1.2055 | 0.05146 | 73 | 59 | 13 | 1 |
1746 | The attempt at levity brought the whole plane down. | 1.2055 | 0.05503 | 73 | 60 | 11 | 2 |
1747 | ...and for my next trick I will make human dignity disappear. | 1.2055 | 0.05146 | 73 | 59 | 13 | 1 |
1748 | We pilots dress this way to make our passengers feel better. | 1.2055 | 0.05503 | 73 | 60 | 11 | 2 |
1749 | I bet you didn’t think you could fit in there. | 1.2055 | 0.05839 | 73 | 61 | 9 | 3 |
1750 | Voila! And just like that, your leg room disappears | 1.2055 | 0.05503 | 73 | 60 | 11 | 2 |
1751 | For my next trick, I will keep the oxygen flowing-even if the bag does not inflate... | 1.2051 | 0.04602 | 78 | 62 | 16 | 0 |
1752 | Your checked bags have now disappeared! | 1.2051 | 0.06150 | 78 | 67 | 6 | 5 |
1753 | It feels like we're at a middle school talent show. | 1.2051 | 0.05583 | 78 | 65 | 10 | 3 |
1754 | Hi. My name is David Copperfield. Now I'm going to make this plane disappear | 1.2051 | 0.05276 | 78 | 64 | 12 | 2 |
1755 | Hazzah! The child is asleep! Jokes, what can I get you ma'am? | 1.2051 | 0.05583 | 78 | 65 | 10 | 3 |
1756 | and now for my greatest magic trick....your luggage will arive on time!! | 1.2051 | 0.05873 | 78 | 66 | 8 | 4 |
1757 | I always wonder what his real job is. | 1.2051 | 0.05276 | 78 | 64 | 12 | 2 |
1758 | Down on three. | 1.2051 | 0.05873 | 78 | 66 | 8 | 4 |
1759 | For my next trick I will make this entire theater levitate. | 1.2051 | 0.05276 | 78 | 64 | 12 | 2 |
1760 | Voici d’avoir au Air Canada | 1.2051 | 0.04950 | 78 | 63 | 14 | 1 |
1761 | And in the event of a crash landing…. | 1.2051 | 0.05276 | 78 | 64 | 12 | 2 |
1762 | More legroom? Unfortunately, there's no spell for that. | 1.2048 | 0.04775 | 83 | 67 | 15 | 1 |
1763 | Poof! Your checked bags have disappeared! | 1.2048 | 0.04775 | 83 | 67 | 15 | 1 |
1764 | And when I tap you, it’s your turn to head to the slide | 1.2048 | 0.05623 | 83 | 70 | 9 | 4 |
1765 | No sir, I cannot put a Petrificus Totalus spell on that young lad kicking your seat. | 1.2048 | 0.05073 | 83 | 68 | 13 | 2 |
1766 | Kazam! I'm back! Hey, you're the wrong audience! | 1.2048 | 0.05355 | 83 | 69 | 11 | 3 |
1767 | If ever off we lift,I command your belongings not to shift | 1.2048 | 0.05073 | 83 | 68 | 13 | 2 |
1768 | Pick a delay, any delay. | 1.2048 | 0.05073 | 83 | 68 | 13 | 2 |
1769 | At least something’s in the air. | 1.2048 | 0.05355 | 83 | 69 | 11 | 3 |
1770 | Welcome to Presto's Levitation Airlines where the final destination of your baggage is still up in the air! | 1.2048 | 0.04775 | 83 | 67 | 15 | 1 |
1771 | Tada! Your bags are now gone! | 1.2045 | 0.05399 | 88 | 74 | 10 | 4 |
1772 | And voila . . . when you land the suitcase will be gone! | 1.2045 | 0.05152 | 88 | 73 | 12 | 3 |
1773 | Your carbon footprint is zero! This flight would be on with or without you. | 1.2045 | 0.05399 | 88 | 74 | 10 | 4 |
1774 | How did you think this stays in the air - physics? | 1.2045 | 0.05152 | 88 | 73 | 12 | 3 |
1775 | I can’t bring back free check baggage with the wave of my wand, lady, but I can make your leg room go poof. | 1.2045 | 0.05399 | 88 | 74 | 10 | 4 |
1776 | The child behind you in NOT kicking your First Class seat…ILLUSION! | 1.2043 | 0.04968 | 93 | 77 | 13 | 3 |
1777 | And for my final trick, we’ll be arriving 10 minutes early at the gate | 1.2034 | 0.06743 | 59 | 50 | 6 | 3 |
1778 | I'm Henry, your pilot! | 1.2031 | 0.05968 | 64 | 53 | 9 | 2 |
1779 | And presto chango I will create leg room! | 1.2031 | 0.05968 | 64 | 53 | 9 | 2 |
1780 | Hold on tight for my next trick; the disappearing pilot! | 1.2031 | 0.05968 | 64 | 53 | 9 | 2 |
1781 | With a wave of my wand, you'll be delighted to be in Dayton. | 1.2031 | 0.05968 | 64 | 53 | 9 | 2 |
1782 | Please direct your attention to the cabin crew, who will provide some in-flight entertainment | 1.2031 | 0.06748 | 64 | 55 | 5 | 4 |
1783 | In the event of an emergency landing, please place your own top hat on before assisting others. | 1.2031 | 0.06370 | 64 | 54 | 7 | 3 |
1784 | And for my next act an on-time flight. | 1.2029 | 0.05684 | 69 | 57 | 10 | 2 |
1785 | Ta-da. No more hectored safety instructions. | 1.2029 | 0.05684 | 69 | 57 | 10 | 2 |
1786 | Ladies & gentleman,it is I the Great In-flight Entertainment | 1.2029 | 0.05296 | 69 | 56 | 12 | 1 |
1787 | Abbra-ta-dabra! We're there! | 1.2029 | 0.05684 | 69 | 57 | 10 | 2 |
1788 | With a wave of my wand, this plane will lift off the ground ... assuming your seats are upright and tray tables stored. | 1.2029 | 0.05684 | 69 | 57 | 10 | 2 |
1789 | On the count of three it’s like you have extra leg room and a seat upgrade! | 1.2029 | 0.06047 | 69 | 58 | 8 | 3 |
1790 | The captain has told me to try some magic | 1.2029 | 0.05684 | 69 | 57 | 10 | 2 |
1791 | Watch me pull a complimentary bag of peanuts out of my hat... | 1.2029 | 0.05296 | 69 | 56 | 12 | 1 |
1792 | Ladies and gentlemen! This is your captain speaking. It looks like my copilot is off his medication again. | 1.2029 | 0.06047 | 69 | 58 | 8 | 3 |
1793 | I'm dancin'and singin' on the plane | 1.2029 | 0.06390 | 69 | 59 | 6 | 4 |
1794 | Behold! As I declassify documents without a hat trick! | 1.2027 | 0.05766 | 74 | 62 | 9 | 3 |
1795 | Hello, my name is D.B. and I will be your hijacker today. | 1.2027 | 0.05435 | 74 | 61 | 11 | 2 |
1796 | For just $49 you can upgrade to presto-legroom-cadabra. | 1.2027 | 0.06079 | 74 | 63 | 7 | 4 |
1797 | And on the count of three, all of your checked luggage will disappear! | 1.2027 | 0.05766 | 74 | 62 | 9 | 3 |
1798 | For $25 I'll make your fees disappear | 1.2027 | 0.06376 | 74 | 64 | 5 | 5 |
1799 | And magically your sense of time will disappear as we sit on the tarmac. | 1.2027 | 0.05083 | 74 | 60 | 13 | 1 |
1800 | Good morning, I'm a flying sorcerer! | 1.2027 | 0.05766 | 74 | 62 | 9 | 3 |
1801 | The in-flight food may be awful but the entertainment is first rate. | 1.2027 | 0.05766 | 74 | 62 | 9 | 3 |
1802 | In case of emergency, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you. Ta-Da! | 1.2027 | 0.05766 | 74 | 62 | 9 | 3 |
1803 | Your seat cushion serves as a magic carpet in an emergency. | 1.2025 | 0.04894 | 79 | 64 | 14 | 1 |
1804 | Well, okay. But a better trick would be to return to flying the plane, Mr. Potter. | 1.2025 | 0.04894 | 79 | 64 | 14 | 1 |
1805 | When I say the magic words, we will all be able to fly! | 1.2025 | 0.04894 | 79 | 64 | 14 | 1 |
1806 | Watch me as I make in-flight service disappear! | 1.2025 | 0.05518 | 79 | 66 | 10 | 3 |
1807 | Poof! No more drink or food service. | 1.2025 | 0.05518 | 79 | 66 | 10 | 3 |
1808 | Presto chango--now we're Delno. | 1.2025 | 0.05518 | 79 | 66 | 10 | 3 |
1809 | And for my next act, I'll make in-flight service disappear | 1.2025 | 0.05215 | 79 | 65 | 12 | 2 |
1810 | And for my last trick before we fly over the Bermuda Triangle... | 1.2025 | 0.05215 | 79 | 65 | 12 | 2 |
1811 | In the event of a Potter landing, your seat cushion can be used as a levitation device. | 1.2025 | 0.04894 | 79 | 64 | 14 | 1 |
1812 | sorry, the crew is a no-show but management assures me that this will work … so please fasten your seatbelts | 1.2025 | 0.04894 | 79 | 64 | 14 | 1 |
1813 | And now I will make myself disappear for the remainder of your flight. | 1.2025 | 0.05215 | 79 | 65 | 12 | 2 |
1814 | Watch how I try, and try, to pull a reduced fare out of my hat! | 1.2024 | 0.05019 | 84 | 69 | 13 | 2 |
1815 | Peanuts or crackers? | 1.2024 | 0.04724 | 84 | 68 | 15 | 1 |
1816 | Our airline uses these when retrieving baggage. | 1.2024 | 0.05297 | 84 | 70 | 11 | 3 |
1817 | Alacazam! WiFi is now available for purchase or free for our for airline card holders. | 1.2024 | 0.05019 | 84 | 69 | 13 | 2 |
1818 | When I wave my wand one more time, everyone not wearing mask will vanish. | 1.2022 | 0.05343 | 89 | 75 | 10 | 4 |
1819 | Hi, I'm Bobby the Angel, and you should have worn your masks. So, Welcome! | 1.2022 | 0.05801 | 89 | 77 | 6 | 6 |
1820 | You’ve been a great audience, only three more hours til takeoff on our magic carpet! | 1.2022 | 0.04842 | 89 | 73 | 14 | 2 |
1821 | And with a wave of my wand we will magically arrive at our destination without mentioning that we’re a tiiiiiiiiiiny bit short on fuel” | 1.2022 | 0.05099 | 89 | 74 | 12 | 3 |
1822 | You folks micro dosing tonight? | 1.2000 | 0.05460 | 65 | 53 | 11 | 1 |
1823 | And voila! You all have COVID. | 1.2000 | 0.05610 | 70 | 58 | 10 | 2 |
1824 | For my next trick, I'm going to make your luggage disappear for three days. | 1.2000 | 0.05724 | 60 | 49 | 10 | 1 |
1825 | After the merger with Spirit, *Poof* three inches of legroom have now disappeared. | 1.2000 | 0.05460 | 65 | 53 | 11 | 1 |
1826 | And for my next trick, the stakes are mile-high! | 1.2000 | 0.05239 | 85 | 71 | 11 | 3 |
1827 | Abracadabra, your masks have disappeared!” | 1.2000 | 0.04793 | 90 | 74 | 14 | 2 |
1828 | Forget your seat width c’mon get happy… | 1.2000 | 0.05369 | 75 | 62 | 11 | 2 |
1829 | Our next stop: Somewhere Over the Rainbow | 1.2000 | 0.05022 | 75 | 61 | 13 | 1 |
1830 | There’s an upcharge to sit in the “No Magicians” section. | 1.2000 | 0.05695 | 75 | 63 | 9 | 3 |
1831 | At Illusion Air, you may not get snacks or drinks-or seats that recline, but you do get "moi" and my enchanting magic tricks! | 1.2000 | 0.04839 | 80 | 65 | 14 | 1 |
1832 | …and hey presto, no carbon footprint! | 1.2000 | 0.05156 | 80 | 66 | 12 | 2 |
1833 | I’m trying to find myself. | 1.2000 | 0.05883 | 65 | 54 | 9 | 2 |
1834 | In the event of a water landing, your magician does act as a flotation device. | 1.2000 | 0.05156 | 80 | 66 | 12 | 2 |
1835 | No pocus on this hocus. | 1.2000 | 0.05724 | 60 | 49 | 10 | 1 |
1836 | And that is why my assistant is in the window and the aisle seats. | 1.2000 | 0.05208 | 60 | 48 | 12 | 0 |
1837 | Your eyes are getting heavy,you are falling into a deep sleep,and soon you begin to feel the soothing comfort and the gentle pulse of a warm lumbar massage kicking you intermittently and constantly for the next 4 hours. May I get you anything? | 1.2000 | 0.05022 | 75 | 61 | 13 | 1 |
1838 | Well they played until the titanic went down, how is this any different." - the 9/11 magician | 1.2000 | 0.06651 | 65 | 56 | 5 | 4 |
1839 | Free water and air if you guess correctly | 1.2000 | 0.05610 | 70 | 58 | 10 | 2 |
1840 | Remove the coin from your ear before removing the coin from the ear of anyone around you. | 1.2000 | 0.06279 | 65 | 55 | 7 | 3 |
1841 | An engine just failed , make a wish | 1.2000 | 0.05228 | 70 | 57 | 12 | 1 |
1842 | ...And for my next trick, I will make a 200 ton metal tube levitate 35,000 feet in the air. | 1.2000 | 0.05883 | 65 | 54 | 9 | 2 |
1843 | And to open the emergency exits, just say the magic words.... | 1.2000 | 0.05883 | 65 | 54 | 9 | 2 |
1844 | I bet you didn't know that I'm the one levitating this plane. | 1.2000 | 0.05500 | 85 | 72 | 9 | 4 |
1845 | Business class upgrade? No problem. | 1.2000 | 0.05369 | 75 | 62 | 11 | 2 |
1846 | I’m here to tell you your luggage has disappeared! | 1.2000 | 0.05369 | 75 | 62 | 11 | 2 |
1847 | Well, you're in coach, so you can Abra-ca-get-it-yourself. | 1.2000 | 0.05000 | 65 | 52 | 13 | 0 |
1848 | The Captain has asked me to entertain all of you, granting anyone their last wish... | 1.2000 | 0.07003 | 65 | 57 | 3 | 5 |
1849 | Where does it itch? | 1.2000 | 0.06296 | 75 | 65 | 5 | 5 |
1850 | Hocus Pocus, when we fly, we like to stay up in the sky. Enjoy the rest of your flight, folks | 1.2000 | 0.05610 | 70 | 58 | 10 | 2 |
1851 | All together folks: We have not been sitting on the runway for thirty minutes. We have not been sitting on the runway for thirty minutes. | 1.2000 | 0.05883 | 65 | 54 | 9 | 2 |
1852 | My last trick will give us a safe landing. | 1.2000 | 0.06279 | 65 | 55 | 7 | 3 |
1853 | And , presto, you leg room disappears! | 1.2000 | 0.05967 | 70 | 59 | 8 | 3 |
1854 | Frogs it is! I warned you not to spit on each other in front of the child. | 1.2000 | 0.06003 | 75 | 64 | 7 | 4 |
1855 | For only $49.95 we can transform the child to a nice Louis Vuitton. | 1.2000 | 0.06006 | 80 | 69 | 6 | 5 |
1856 | 5 bucks to watch | 1.2000 | 0.05454 | 80 | 67 | 10 | 3 |
1857 | When you wake, it will be lunch time 1960. Order now. | 1.2000 | 0.05460 | 65 | 53 | 11 | 1 |
1858 | For my first act, I will make the pilot appear! | 1.2000 | 0.05454 | 80 | 67 | 10 | 3 |
1859 | Tip me if you want to arrive safely | 1.2000 | 0.06305 | 70 | 60 | 6 | 4 |
1860 | No, I can't make tasty snacks for everyone at no charge; this is magic, not miracles. | 1.2000 | 0.05239 | 85 | 71 | 11 | 3 |
1861 | Mechanic anyone? | 1.2000 | 0.06003 | 75 | 64 | 7 | 4 |
1862 | With a wave of this wand,I give you the strength to endure the indignities or air travel. | 1.2000 | 0.05695 | 75 | 63 | 9 | 3 |
1863 | For an additional fee I can make the toddler behind you disappear. | 1.2000 | 0.04815 | 70 | 56 | 14 | 0 |
1864 | I'm guessing you all know we're not in Kansas anymore. | 1.2000 | 0.04650 | 75 | 60 | 15 | 0 |
1865 | For twenty bucks I can make your luggage arrive at your destination. | 1.2000 | 0.04525 | 90 | 73 | 16 | 1 |
1866 | I’m auditioning for a pilot episode. | 1.2000 | 0.04674 | 85 | 69 | 15 | 1 |
1867 | Magicians beyond borders | 1.2000 | 0.05156 | 80 | 66 | 12 | 2 |
1868 | After the third screen reset attempt fails, this is the last hope… | 1.2000 | 0.05460 | 65 | 53 | 11 | 1 |
1869 | Behold, our brand new self-flying plane is ready for takeoff | 1.2000 | 0.06003 | 75 | 64 | 7 | 4 |
1870 | I don't know how drive a plane but I believe in magic! | 1.2000 | 0.05610 | 70 | 58 | 10 | 2 |
1871 | And now for my next trick,"The Levitating Airplane!" | 1.1977 | 0.04912 | 86 | 71 | 13 | 2 |
1872 | And then the oxygen mask will magically fall down.... | 1.1977 | 0.04912 | 86 | 71 | 13 | 2 |
1873 | And that's how aircraft fly. | 1.1977 | 0.05183 | 86 | 72 | 11 | 3 |
1874 | I'll make the airplane smell disappear! | 1.1977 | 0.04625 | 86 | 70 | 15 | 1 |
1875 | ...and for my next trick,violence intenders will be turned into frogs! | 1.1975 | 0.05392 | 81 | 68 | 10 | 3 |
1876 | And...presto! The extra seat space you paid for is gone. | 1.1975 | 0.05098 | 81 | 67 | 12 | 2 |
1877 | Who wants to see me pull a bag of pretzels from behind your ear. | 1.1975 | 0.05098 | 81 | 67 | 12 | 2 |
1878 | Go ahead and hate *me* instead of each other. | 1.1975 | 0.05937 | 81 | 70 | 6 | 5 |
1879 | We can't take off until I've sprinkled everyone with pixie dust. | 1.1975 | 0.05098 | 81 | 67 | 12 | 2 |
1880 | For my next trick, I will make the drink service disappear. | 1.1975 | 0.05098 | 81 | 67 | 12 | 2 |
1881 | Abracadabra! Legroom disappear! | 1.1975 | 0.05098 | 81 | 67 | 12 | 2 |
1882 | And just like that…leg-room has disappeared. | 1.1975 | 0.04785 | 81 | 66 | 14 | 1 |
1883 | Still... my magic cannot make this 14-hour flight anything approaching 'a nice flight' | 1.1975 | 0.05392 | 81 | 68 | 10 | 3 |
1884 | The Mile-High Club is a fantasy / You'll be lucky if you get a seat / That's not between a perv and a Karen / Now lock your lap belt and put your smile on | 1.1975 | 0.05392 | 81 | 68 | 10 | 3 |
1885 | Okay, then just pretend that you are flying. | 1.1975 | 0.05392 | 81 | 68 | 10 | 3 |
1886 | Your luggage has magically dissapeared, but I will now take a rabbit out of the overhead compartment. | 1.1975 | 0.05671 | 81 | 69 | 8 | 4 |
1887 | If you think making the flight attendants disappear was a neat trick, watch while I make the pilot and co-pilot disappear. | 1.1974 | 0.05626 | 76 | 64 | 9 | 3 |
1888 | If this was first class, I'd be holding your card in my hand. | 1.1974 | 0.05626 | 76 | 64 | 9 | 3 |
1889 | By the end of this magic show, you won't just stop being afraid of a crash - you'll actively wish for one. | 1.1974 | 0.06218 | 76 | 66 | 5 | 5 |
1890 | As the captain announced, our WiFi is out. But have no fear: I’ve been getting into magic! | 1.1974 | 0.04963 | 76 | 62 | 13 | 1 |
1891 | And presto the peanuts have disappeared. | 1.1974 | 0.04963 | 76 | 62 | 13 | 1 |
1892 | Abra cadabra no legroom. | 1.1974 | 0.05626 | 76 | 64 | 9 | 3 |
1893 | When I count to three you will wake up and no one will want to eat, drink or need to use the bathroom until we land in Chicago. | 1.1974 | 0.04963 | 76 | 62 | 13 | 1 |
1894 | Can you make some of these new fees disappear? | 1.1974 | 0.04963 | 76 | 62 | 13 | 1 |
1895 | There's a reason no one has ever asked if there was a magician on board | 1.1974 | 0.04963 | 76 | 62 | 13 | 1 |
1896 | Voila! It fits. | 1.1972 | 0.05890 | 71 | 60 | 8 | 3 |
1897 | For your comfort and safety, I'll now be making each seat as wide as they used to be. | 1.1972 | 0.05161 | 71 | 58 | 12 | 1 |
1898 | And ouila, you are still in economy coach seating! | 1.1972 | 0.05161 | 71 | 58 | 12 | 1 |
1899 | Welcome to Hogwarts Air. Today's snack is whatever you wish! | 1.1972 | 0.05890 | 71 | 60 | 8 | 3 |
1900 | And poof! Your ears just popped | 1.1972 | 0.05890 | 71 | 60 | 8 | 3 |
1901 | And now, watch me make a baby scream for 3 hours. | 1.1972 | 0.05161 | 71 | 58 | 12 | 1 |
1902 | Unless you can magically transport us to 1st class, please move on we are trying to sleep. | 1.1972 | 0.05161 | 71 | 58 | 12 | 1 |
1903 | And for my next trick, make sure your seatbelts are securely fastened. | 1.1972 | 0.05890 | 71 | 60 | 8 | 3 |
1904 | And with a flick of my wand, you'll feel the magic of flying in the 1930s. | 1.1972 | 0.05537 | 71 | 59 | 10 | 2 |
1905 | Buckle your seatbelts. My next act is called: Turbulence. | 1.1972 | 0.04755 | 71 | 57 | 14 | 0 |
1906 | Yes folks, lowest prices in airline history so we do fly by magic. | 1.1972 | 0.05890 | 71 | 60 | 8 | 3 |
1907 | Ta da! All your baggage is now going to other airports! | 1.1972 | 0.05161 | 71 | 58 | 12 | 1 |
1908 | Ladies and gentlemen. Wake up! I'm really the chief pilot in disguise." myoken@umassd.ed | 1.1972 | 0.05537 | 71 | 59 | 10 | 2 |
1909 | Finally! The part you have been sitting on the tarmac waiting for | 1.1972 | 0.05161 | 71 | 58 | 12 | 1 |
1910 | I'll be your attendant for the duration of this flight...forget about the lateness of the departure, the carry-on confusion and the changed seating arrangement...and the wait to get to the gate upon arrival, and forget the baggage carousel mix-up | 1.1972 | 0.05537 | 71 | 59 | 10 | 2 |
1911 | Would you like an upgrade to wizard class? | 1.1972 | 0.06222 | 71 | 61 | 6 | 4 |
1912 | Abracadabra! You have the flu! | 1.1972 | 0.05537 | 71 | 59 | 10 | 2 |
1913 | I’ve been making luggage disappear at this airline for years! | 1.1972 | 0.05537 | 71 | 59 | 10 | 2 |
1914 | No… we do not serve drinks or snacks anymore. But i do have prepared a magic trick! | 1.1972 | 0.05537 | 71 | 59 | 10 | 2 |
1915 | For my next trick I am going to make the food edible. | 1.1970 | 0.05802 | 66 | 55 | 9 | 2 |
1916 | And just like that this all becomes first class.” | 1.1970 | 0.05802 | 66 | 55 | 9 | 2 |
1917 | For a small upgrade fee, I can make your legroom reappear. | 1.1970 | 0.06190 | 66 | 56 | 7 | 3 |
1918 | And voila’… there’s a rabbit flying the plane! | 1.1970 | 0.05802 | 66 | 55 | 9 | 2 |
1919 | How many checked bags did you have? | 1.1970 | 0.05385 | 66 | 54 | 11 | 1 |
1920 | Abracadabra ETA on schedule ! | 1.1970 | 0.05802 | 66 | 55 | 9 | 2 |
1921 | Prest-O, Change-O! All your cell phones will be one hour ahead as pass through the magical veil of MST! | 1.1970 | 0.05802 | 66 | 55 | 9 | 2 |
1922 | No, I’m afraid we’re unable to move you to a row with more legroom, but for a modest FAA approved fee, I can perform the same Economy Plus Illusion™️ I did for Mrs. Munson in the seat behind you. | 1.1970 | 0.05802 | 66 | 55 | 9 | 2 |
1923 | They call me The Flying Sorcerer. | 1.1970 | 0.05802 | 66 | 55 | 9 | 2 |
1924 | I'll make sure your luggage magically appears! | 1.1970 | 0.04933 | 66 | 53 | 13 | 0 |
1925 | For my next trick, an on-time landing. | 1.1970 | 0.05385 | 66 | 54 | 11 | 1 |
1926 | Come with me and you’ll be in a world of pure imagination…and we’ll take off on time and all eat hot meals. | 1.1967 | 0.06105 | 61 | 51 | 8 | 2 |
1927 | If your plane gets lost, I am going to make sure your luggage arrives on time. | 1.1967 | 0.05639 | 61 | 50 | 10 | 1 |
1928 | Today’s complimentary drink selection is whatever you wish! | 1.1967 | 0.05639 | 61 | 50 | 10 | 1 |
1929 | I will magically insert the metal fitting into the buckle of your seat belt. | 1.1967 | 0.05639 | 61 | 50 | 10 | 1 |
1930 | The other airlines may have spirit, but we have magic! | 1.1967 | 0.05639 | 61 | 50 | 10 | 1 |
1931 | We made it through COVID | 1.1967 | 0.05639 | 61 | 50 | 10 | 1 |
1932 | Okay! The masks are gone! What's next? More leg room? | 1.1967 | 0.06105 | 61 | 51 | 8 | 2 |
1933 | Sorry for the flight delay. It's time for our song and dance program to make the time fly - maybe the plane will too. | 1.1967 | 0.05639 | 61 | 50 | 10 | 1 |
1934 | Corporate said our customers want transparency, so I’ll be showing you how we get the plane to fly ✨ | 1.1967 | 0.06105 | 61 | 51 | 8 | 2 |
1935 | This is the prequel scene that didn’t air for the tv series Lost. | 1.1967 | 0.06105 | 61 | 51 | 8 | 2 |
1936 | POOF You are now in economy seating | 1.1957 | 0.04946 | 92 | 77 | 12 | 3 |
1937 | Abracadabra! All connecting flights are cancelled. | 1.1954 | 0.05626 | 87 | 75 | 7 | 5 |
1938 | So, relax and sit back. We’ll have you in Hell in just about… what am I talking about? You’re already there. | 1.1954 | 0.04861 | 87 | 72 | 13 | 2 |
1939 | PRESTO. Your leg room disappeared along with your luggage! | 1.1954 | 0.04861 | 87 | 72 | 13 | 2 |
1940 | I'm afraid the 'no amateur magician' option is for first class only" | 1.1954 | 0.04578 | 87 | 71 | 15 | 1 |
1941 | And just like that, I made all your reasonable flight expectations vanish. | 1.1954 | 0.05383 | 87 | 74 | 9 | 4 |
1942 | And now I’ll make your leg room disappear.” | 1.1951 | 0.05607 | 82 | 70 | 8 | 4 |
1943 | I've made all your luggage disappear. | 1.1951 | 0.04733 | 82 | 67 | 14 | 1 |
1944 | We all pretend it’s, “Science,” that makes this plane fly, but really, I just say, “Hocus Pocus,” wave the wand, and we get liftoff! Can I have a volunteer from the audience for the next part of the trick—landing the plane? | 1.1951 | 0.05607 | 82 | 70 | 8 | 4 |
1945 | If there is a change in cabin pressure,I will pull an oxygen mask out of my hat. Please secure your mask before assisting your child. | 1.1951 | 0.05041 | 82 | 68 | 12 | 2 |
1946 | We know you think planes fly by magic anyways, so we figured we'd lean into it. | 1.1951 | 0.05041 | 82 | 68 | 12 | 2 |
1947 | And presto! You are connected to in-flight wi-fi! | 1.1951 | 0.05041 | 82 | 68 | 12 | 2 |
1948 | Now watch as I put us back on the radar! | 1.1951 | 0.05607 | 82 | 70 | 8 | 4 |
1949 | Abracadabra- your legroom- POOF! | 1.1948 | 0.04905 | 77 | 63 | 13 | 1 |
1950 | Ta da....your pretzel packet fills you up and your seat feels roomy!" Heidi Roe, Myrtle Point, Or | 1.1948 | 0.05242 | 77 | 64 | 11 | 2 |
1951 | As a budgetary move, I’m the new in-flight entertainment. | 1.1948 | 0.05242 | 77 | 64 | 11 | 2 |
1952 | Should the cabin experience sudden pressure loss, stay calm and believe in magic. | 1.1948 | 0.05242 | 77 | 64 | 11 | 2 |
1953 | And for my next trick take a look at your leg room! | 1.1948 | 0.04905 | 77 | 63 | 13 | 1 |
1954 | Abracadabra you’re in First Class! | 1.1948 | 0.05242 | 77 | 64 | 11 | 2 |
1955 | Celine Dion’s working First Class | 1.1948 | 0.05558 | 77 | 65 | 9 | 3 |
1956 | With this wand I can make your reservation…disappear! | 1.1948 | 0.05857 | 77 | 66 | 7 | 4 |
1957 | And now for my next trick, we will actually take off without any further delays... | 1.1948 | 0.05242 | 77 | 64 | 11 | 2 |
1958 | Pillows,Donald? What’s the magic word? | 1.1948 | 0.04905 | 77 | 63 | 13 | 1 |
1959 | The items in the overhead bin have now magically shifted. | 1.1948 | 0.04905 | 77 | 63 | 13 | 1 |
1960 | And for my next trick, watch 'customer service' vanish right in front of your eyes! | 1.1944 | 0.05814 | 72 | 61 | 8 | 3 |
1961 | And magically, there goes another 2 inches of leg-room. | 1.1944 | 0.05467 | 72 | 60 | 10 | 2 |
1962 | When you wake up it will be Nov. 2024. Joe Biden is still the president and Donald Trump is still in jail. You’re welcome. | 1.1944 | 0.05467 | 72 | 60 | 10 | 2 |
1963 | Bill was hoping his emotional support rabbit would come out of that hat at some point. | 1.1944 | 0.05467 | 72 | 60 | 10 | 2 |
1964 | ''Abracadabra,your carry-on charge is back in your bag.'' | 1.1944 | 0.05096 | 72 | 59 | 12 | 1 |
1965 | ...and with a wave of my wand, all your checked bags are in a different city. | 1.1944 | 0.05096 | 72 | 59 | 12 | 1 |
1966 | For my first Trick...Imagine that you're "On Time..." | 1.1944 | 0.05467 | 72 | 60 | 10 | 2 |
1967 | And for my next trick...All children who refrain from kicking seatbacks on this flight shall receive a Toblerone! | 1.1944 | 0.05467 | 72 | 60 | 10 | 2 |
1968 | Honest, it's a life raft. | 1.1944 | 0.06141 | 72 | 62 | 6 | 4 |
1969 | No treats, just tricks. | 1.1944 | 0.05814 | 72 | 61 | 8 | 3 |
1970 | Presto an on time departure and two middle arm rests. | 1.1944 | 0.05467 | 72 | 60 | 10 | 2 |
1971 | Imagine your legroom as leprechauns! | 1.1944 | 0.05467 | 72 | 60 | 10 | 2 |
1972 | For my next trick I will make your flight trouble free! | 1.1940 | 0.04868 | 67 | 54 | 13 | 0 |
1973 | Before we takeoff, does anyone want an emotional support bunny? | 1.1940 | 0.06104 | 67 | 57 | 7 | 3 |
1974 | ...for my next trick, I will make all crying children disappear. | 1.1940 | 0.05312 | 67 | 55 | 11 | 1 |
1975 | I would pull a rabbit out of my hat but he's busy dealing with a drunk back in coach. | 1.1940 | 0.06464 | 67 | 58 | 5 | 4 |
1976 | With this wand I will make your legroom disappear. | 1.1940 | 0.06104 | 67 | 57 | 7 | 3 |
1977 | Accio Drink Cart! | 1.1940 | 0.05312 | 67 | 55 | 11 | 1 |
1978 | And now for my magically sleep-inducing safety speech! | 1.1940 | 0.05312 | 67 | 55 | 11 | 1 |
1979 | And for my next trick I'll have you landing on time. | 1.1940 | 0.05722 | 67 | 56 | 9 | 2 |
1980 | Good evening. I just made the pilot disappear! | 1.1940 | 0.06104 | 67 | 57 | 7 | 3 |
1981 | Flying at 33000 feet at 500 miles an hour we have decided that instead of life vests and oxygen masks a magic wand might be a better option. | 1.1940 | 0.05312 | 67 | 55 | 11 | 1 |
1982 | Let's see if I can conjure up something for you to eat. | 1.1940 | 0.05312 | 67 | 55 | 11 | 1 |
1983 | This will help distract you from your fear of flying! Enjoy the show for those who remember Blackson the magician I am not nearly as good! | 1.1940 | 0.06104 | 67 | 57 | 7 | 3 |
1984 | And then your luggage will reappear, just like that! | 1.1940 | 0.05722 | 67 | 56 | 9 | 2 |
1985 | Oh sure, anybody can fly a plane. But I can make those irritating people in row 10 disappear! | 1.1940 | 0.06104 | 67 | 57 | 7 | 3 |
1986 | I will make a flight crew appear, maybe. | 1.1939 | 0.04953 | 98 | 83 | 11 | 4 |
1987 | With the pilot we’ve got, we’ll need a little magic | 1.1935 | 0.05557 | 62 | 51 | 10 | 1 |
1988 | And now for my magic trip. I will make this plane fly | 1.1935 | 0.05557 | 62 | 51 | 10 | 1 |
1989 | I have this great routine. It lasts several hours. | 1.1935 | 0.06014 | 62 | 52 | 8 | 2 |
1990 | FOR MY NEXT TRICK I'LL MAKE THE SPACE IN FRONT OF YOU DISAPPEAR | 1.1935 | 0.06438 | 62 | 53 | 6 | 3 |
1991 | And watch closely as you connecting flight magically disappears! | 1.1935 | 0.06014 | 62 | 52 | 8 | 2 |
1992 | We love to fly and its shows. | 1.1935 | 0.05557 | 62 | 51 | 10 | 1 |
1993 | And for my next trick I'll disappear all the small print to screw you out of frequent-flier mileage. | 1.1935 | 0.06438 | 62 | 53 | 6 | 3 |
1994 | The Engines are down | 1.1935 | 0.05557 | 62 | 51 | 10 | 1 |
1995 | And for my next trick I will pull a $13 tuna sandwich out of my hat! | 1.1935 | 0.05557 | 62 | 51 | 10 | 1 |
1996 | Just don't ask why we can't teleport you there. | 1.1935 | 0.05557 | 62 | 51 | 10 | 1 |
1997 | Still there? Let me try again… | 1.1935 | 0.06014 | 62 | 52 | 8 | 2 |
1998 | Please call the Pilots union! | 1.1935 | 0.05557 | 62 | 51 | 10 | 1 |
1999 | And for my next trick, I will conjure up a bag of peanuts | 1.1935 | 0.06014 | 62 | 52 | 8 | 2 |
2000 | And now, I'm going to cut that crying baby in half. | 1.1932 | 0.05075 | 88 | 74 | 11 | 3 |
2001 | Hi, I'm your pilot. | 1.1930 | 0.06352 | 57 | 48 | 7 | 2 |
2002 | And just before we land, I' ll make your checked luggage disappear. | 1.1930 | 0.06352 | 57 | 48 | 7 | 2 |
2003 | I can make your baby quiet all fly long! | 1.1928 | 0.04985 | 83 | 69 | 12 | 2 |
2004 | And now . . . the trick of the disappearing luggage! | 1.1928 | 0.05272 | 83 | 70 | 10 | 3 |
2005 | For my next Basic Economy trick, I will pull from this hat part of a rabbit. | 1.1928 | 0.05272 | 83 | 70 | 10 | 3 |
2006 | Now, was THAT the emergency exit you were thinking of? | 1.1928 | 0.04985 | 83 | 69 | 12 | 2 |
2007 | Soda, snack or a magic trick perhaps? | 1.1928 | 0.05544 | 83 | 71 | 8 | 4 |
2008 | And now for my next trick, I'll increase your legroom by 1 inch! | 1.1923 | 0.05492 | 78 | 66 | 9 | 3 |
2009 | Ta Da...All the seatbelts are fastened, tray tables stored and seatbacks are forward. | 1.1923 | 0.04848 | 78 | 64 | 13 | 1 |
2010 | And now, for my next trick, I will make this plane fly! | 1.1923 | 0.05492 | 78 | 66 | 9 | 3 |
2011 | On the count of three...you will enjoy this flight! | 1.1923 | 0.05492 | 78 | 66 | 9 | 3 |
2012 | Abracadabra, your luggage has made it onto the flight. | 1.1923 | 0.05492 | 78 | 66 | 9 | 3 |
2013 | "Welcome to Hocus-Pocus Airlines!" | 1.1923 | 0.05787 | 78 | 67 | 7 | 4 |
2014 | If you cause a ruckus you will be sprinkled with fairy dust! | 1.1923 | 0.04848 | 78 | 64 | 13 | 1 |
2015 | And now, I’ve made your checked baggage magically disappear! | 1.1923 | 0.05492 | 78 | 66 | 9 | 3 |
2016 | I was supposed to re-appear on the plane to Cleveland! | 1.1923 | 0.05180 | 78 | 65 | 11 | 2 |
2017 | We are delighted to entertain you when the plane is in its second hour on the runway. | 1.1918 | 0.05033 | 73 | 60 | 12 | 1 |
2018 | Close your eyes and tap your heels three times and say "There's no place like Martha's Vineyard" | 1.1918 | 0.05398 | 73 | 61 | 10 | 2 |
2019 | Chicken, fish or rabbit? | 1.1918 | 0.05398 | 73 | 61 | 10 | 2 |
2020 | And PRESTO! Now only you two will hear the incessant crying! | 1.1918 | 0.05398 | 73 | 61 | 10 | 2 |
2021 | For my first trick, we will depart on time. | 1.1918 | 0.05033 | 73 | 60 | 12 | 1 |
2022 | Now, I'll make the kicking child behind you disappear. | 1.1918 | 0.05033 | 73 | 60 | 12 | 1 |
2023 | Magic is part of Flight Scheduler training. | 1.1918 | 0.05033 | 73 | 60 | 12 | 1 |
2024 | With a wave of my magic wand you will feel very sleepy and wake up happy and satisfied when we have arrived at our final destination. | 1.1918 | 0.05033 | 73 | 60 | 12 | 1 |
2025 | Prestodigitation or on time to your destination? | 1.1918 | 0.05740 | 73 | 62 | 8 | 3 |
2026 | And for my next trick, I will now magically devalue your frequent flyer miles. | 1.1918 | 0.05033 | 73 | 60 | 12 | 1 |
2027 | Your seat numbers tell me your departure was New York with a final destination of Chicago. Your baggage, however, is heading for Honolulu, Hawaii . . .. Just kidding! | 1.1918 | 0.05398 | 73 | 61 | 10 | 2 |
2028 | Are you interested in our offer today, a magic Pie in the Sky? | 1.1918 | 0.05398 | 73 | 61 | 10 | 2 |
2029 | Dude is afraid of magic | 1.1918 | 0.05033 | 73 | 60 | 12 | 1 |
2030 | I'm going to attempt to pull a pilot out of my hat. | 1.1918 | 0.05398 | 73 | 61 | 10 | 2 |
2031 | OK, Which is the one trick I can’t guarantee.? Water into wine, Bologna into steak, or an on time landing.”Guess | 1.1918 | 0.05398 | 73 | 61 | 10 | 2 |
2032 | And for my next trick, I will now erase your memory from the meal you just had. | 1.1918 | 0.05033 | 73 | 60 | 12 | 1 |
2033 | And for my next trick, I’ll make the pilot disappear | 1.1918 | 0.05033 | 73 | 60 | 12 | 1 |
2034 | I will go back to the cockpit if someone would just volunteer for my next trick! | 1.1918 | 0.05398 | 73 | 61 | 10 | 2 |
2035 | I'm now going to make myself disappear for the rest of the flight. | 1.1912 | 0.05241 | 68 | 56 | 11 | 1 |
2036 | For my next trick, I will find yet another way to take $50 from your wallet. | 1.1912 | 0.06021 | 68 | 58 | 7 | 3 |
2037 | Oh don’t worry, the plane is on autopilot. | 1.1912 | 0.05644 | 68 | 57 | 9 | 2 |
2038 | I will now pull an emotional support rabbit out of my hat. | 1.1912 | 0.06375 | 68 | 59 | 5 | 4 |
2039 | Last call for the mile-high magical experience. | 1.1912 | 0.05644 | 68 | 57 | 9 | 2 |
2040 | Ta-dah! And for my next trick, I will disappear into the first class lavatory | 1.1912 | 0.06021 | 68 | 58 | 7 | 3 |
2041 | And hey Presto! You'll never see your bags again. | 1.1912 | 0.05241 | 68 | 56 | 11 | 1 |
2042 | Now, for your in-flight entertainment... | 1.1912 | 0.05241 | 68 | 56 | 11 | 1 |
2043 | It likes you. You get to choose your beverage. | 1.1912 | 0.04804 | 68 | 55 | 13 | 0 |
2044 | Magic: this plane is pilot-less. Sherie Neufeld Surbaugh@ku.edu | 1.1912 | 0.05241 | 68 | 56 | 11 | 1 |
2045 | And in the event of a nosedive, magic wands will fall from the overhead compartments for any wishes you may want to make. | 1.1912 | 0.05644 | 68 | 57 | 9 | 2 |
2046 | And now, to make more legroom fly out of my hat ... | 1.1912 | 0.05241 | 68 | 56 | 11 | 1 |
2047 | Who said all the magic is gone out of air travel? | 1.1912 | 0.06021 | 68 | 58 | 7 | 3 |
2048 | I need verbal confirmation that you are willing and able to be my assistant. | 1.1912 | 0.05644 | 68 | 57 | 9 | 2 |
2049 | Let's close our eyes and pretend we're not connected to a long beanstalk that flies us through the air. | 1.1912 | 0.06021 | 68 | 58 | 7 | 3 |
2050 | And I can make it land. | 1.1912 | 0.05241 | 68 | 56 | 11 | 1 |
2051 | Please don’t saw our plane in half. | 1.1912 | 0.05644 | 68 | 57 | 9 | 2 |
2052 | Sorry, I can only magic water or soda outside of the first class section | 1.1912 | 0.06021 | 68 | 58 | 7 | 3 |
2053 | ... and now, with a wave of my wand, we'll be on time... | 1.1910 | 0.04761 | 89 | 74 | 13 | 2 |
2054 | Trust me, your clothes won't be at the baggage claim | 1.1910 | 0.05507 | 89 | 77 | 7 | 5 |
2055 | Say the magic word and you’ll be in First Class! | 1.1905 | 0.05925 | 63 | 53 | 8 | 2 |
2056 | I will now attempt to make the pilot return. | 1.1905 | 0.05214 | 84 | 71 | 10 | 3 |
2057 | Thus we traveled in Amtrak. | 1.1905 | 0.05925 | 63 | 53 | 8 | 2 |
2058 | In the event of a decompression, a rabbit will automatically appear in front of you. | 1.1905 | 0.04931 | 84 | 70 | 12 | 2 |
2059 | And now, for my next trick, a flight with no drama, except mine. | 1.1905 | 0.04631 | 84 | 69 | 14 | 1 |
2060 | ...and when I snap my fingers, you'll be at La Guardia, feeling refreshed and happy! | 1.1905 | 0.04987 | 63 | 51 | 12 | 0 |
2061 | For my first trick, I've made the middle seats disappear. | 1.1905 | 0.06343 | 63 | 54 | 6 | 3 |
2062 | For my next trick, I’ll upgrade everyone to first class. Just say the magic word: your credit card number. | 1.1899 | 0.05120 | 79 | 66 | 11 | 2 |
2063 | Don’t worry folks, every magic trick keeps the wings of the plane | 1.1899 | 0.04792 | 79 | 65 | 13 | 1 |
2064 | I got you onboard, so you now have two more wishes. | 1.1899 | 0.05428 | 79 | 67 | 9 | 3 |
2065 | And for my next trick,we | 1.1899 | 0.05120 | 79 | 66 | 11 | 2 |
2066 | And for my next trick, I’ll make all the perks of air travel disappear. | 1.1899 | 0.04792 | 79 | 65 | 13 | 1 |
2067 | For my next trick I will make us all fly! | 1.1899 | 0.05428 | 79 | 67 | 9 | 3 |
2068 | And we’re actually going to land 15 minutes early | 1.1899 | 0.05428 | 79 | 67 | 9 | 3 |
2069 | For my final illusion, I will return my hat to it’s locked and upright position. I hope you enjoyed our in-flight entertainment. I must get back to flying the plane. | 1.1899 | 0.05428 | 79 | 67 | 9 | 3 |
2070 | For my next trick I shall make your checked luggage disappear! | 1.1899 | 0.05120 | 79 | 66 | 11 | 2 |
2071 | Expanding leg room is not within my bag of tricks. | 1.1897 | 0.05193 | 58 | 47 | 11 | 0 |
2072 | Now, repeat after me, 'I will float if we land in the ocean.' | 1.1897 | 0.05193 | 58 | 47 | 11 | 0 |
2073 | And now, right before your eyes--although you won't personally be able to use it--legroom. | 1.1892 | 0.05667 | 74 | 63 | 8 | 3 |
2074 | I was told there would be complimentary snacks, not acts. | 1.1892 | 0.05667 | 74 | 63 | 8 | 3 |
2075 | Well, the airline did say that their flight crew was amazing. | 1.1892 | 0.04971 | 74 | 61 | 12 | 1 |
2076 | And on the count of three - the baby will be me! | 1.1892 | 0.04971 | 74 | 61 | 12 | 1 |
2077 | Next, I’ll make the seat-kicker behind you disappear! | 1.1892 | 0.04971 | 74 | 61 | 12 | 1 |
2078 | My wand’s name is Rod, you handsome devil! And look how excited he is to meet you! | 1.1892 | 0.04971 | 74 | 61 | 12 | 1 |
2079 | We’ll be levitating at 38,000 feet today. | 1.1892 | 0.05331 | 74 | 62 | 10 | 2 |
2080 | Now watch me as I make your leg room disappear. | 1.1892 | 0.05331 | 74 | 62 | 10 | 2 |
2081 | At this point in the flight, we now invite our Platinum Globalist passengers to pick a card, any card. | 1.1884 | 0.05569 | 69 | 58 | 9 | 2 |
2082 | The bad news is the flight is delayed , the good news iiisss ......... !! | 1.1884 | 0.05172 | 69 | 57 | 11 | 1 |
2083 | I shall make your money disappear! | 1.1884 | 0.05172 | 69 | 57 | 11 | 1 |
2084 | And with a wave of my wand the Captain *should* appear in the bin above you. | 1.1884 | 0.05939 | 69 | 59 | 7 | 3 |
2085 | Now Watch, as I make all amenities disappear. | 1.1884 | 0.05939 | 69 | 59 | 7 | 3 |
2086 | Under your seat you’ll find a life vest…and a rabbit! | 1.1884 | 0.05172 | 69 | 57 | 11 | 1 |
2087 | And with a wave of my wand, your bags have been routed to Albuquerque. | 1.1884 | 0.05569 | 69 | 58 | 9 | 2 |
2088 | And for my next trick, oxygen masks! | 1.1884 | 0.05172 | 69 | 57 | 11 | 1 |
2089 | In keeping with our new policy of full disclosure... | 1.1884 | 0.05939 | 69 | 59 | 7 | 3 |
2090 | And for my final trick, I will make this flight not delayed. | 1.1884 | 0.05569 | 69 | 58 | 9 | 2 |
2091 | ...and next I'll make the seats disappear! | 1.1884 | 0.05569 | 69 | 58 | 9 | 2 |
2092 | And now, I shall make the emergency exits... reappear! | 1.1884 | 0.05569 | 69 | 58 | 9 | 2 |
2093 | Nothing up my sleeve—not even a little bag of peanuts.” | 1.1884 | 0.04742 | 69 | 56 | 13 | 0 |
2094 | This next trick is called “Does anyone here know how to land a 737?” May I have a volunteer? | 1.1884 | 0.05939 | 69 | 59 | 7 | 3 |
2095 | Abracadabra, you will get 1 out of your 3 suitcases back upon arrival. | 1.1875 | 0.05398 | 64 | 53 | 10 | 1 |
2096 | Harry Potter did it better. | 1.1875 | 0.06250 | 64 | 55 | 6 | 3 |
2097 | And through my magic, we will get you to your destination safe and on time. | 1.1875 | 0.05061 | 80 | 67 | 11 | 2 |
2098 | I'm here to make your flight enjoyable. | 1.1875 | 0.04917 | 64 | 52 | 12 | 0 |
2099 | When I say Abracadabra, your oxygen masks will drop down. | 1.1875 | 0.05840 | 64 | 54 | 8 | 2 |
2100 | Seven inches of leg room can be magical if you choose to believe. | 1.1875 | 0.05398 | 64 | 53 | 10 | 1 |
2101 | Fillet mignon, sautéed green beans, cherries jubilee! | 1.1875 | 0.05061 | 80 | 67 | 11 | 2 |
2102 | I always wondered how they made the foot room disappear on these planes. | 1.1875 | 0.05398 | 64 | 53 | 10 | 1 |
2103 | And I'm also the copilot! | 1.1875 | 0.05398 | 64 | 53 | 10 | 1 |
2104 | And our best workaround for delays is, as ever, performative. | 1.1875 | 0.05398 | 64 | 53 | 10 | 1 |
2105 | Abraaaaacadaaaaabra!!!! If you now look at your connecting flight you will see it has indeed.... been cancelled! | 1.1875 | 0.05398 | 64 | 53 | 10 | 1 |
2106 | If I pull this off, they'll let me perform for first class! | 1.1875 | 0.05840 | 64 | 54 | 8 | 2 |
2107 | And poof! Good food disappears! | 1.1875 | 0.06250 | 64 | 55 | 6 | 3 |
2108 | And now, I will make your leg room disappear completely. | 1.1875 | 0.05840 | 64 | 54 | 8 | 2 |
2109 | And that's what happens in The Prestige! Up next in in-flight entertainment: Top Gun. | 1.1875 | 0.05061 | 80 | 67 | 11 | 2 |
2110 | When I snap my fingers you’ll have more legroom. | 1.1875 | 0.05840 | 64 | 54 | 8 | 2 |
2111 | For a small extra charge I can make your food edible | 1.1875 | 0.05061 | 80 | 67 | 11 | 2 |
2112 | And now, as we continue Economy Class's new form of in-flight entertainment...! | 1.1875 | 0.04738 | 80 | 66 | 13 | 1 |
2113 | Hocus pocus, abracadabra, presto chango, alakazam -- we're stuck on this plane, and I can't say for how long, due to an air-traffic jam. Thank you, you've been a great audience! Now for my next trick -- free drinks! | 1.1875 | 0.04738 | 80 | 66 | 13 | 1 |
2114 | Sorry about the pigeons. | 1.1875 | 0.05364 | 80 | 68 | 9 | 3 |
2115 | I heard someone say he is the backup for the auto-pilot system. | 1.1875 | 0.05398 | 64 | 53 | 10 | 1 |
2116 | Let's see - no food, no movies! Is flight attendant another economy?" | 1.1875 | 0.05061 | 80 | 67 | 11 | 2 |
2117 | If you want to see my vanishing act, just press the call button. | 1.1875 | 0.05398 | 64 | 53 | 10 | 1 |
2118 | And just like that, the seatbelt sign has reappeared | 1.1875 | 0.05061 | 80 | 67 | 11 | 2 |
2119 | And now your potato chips are blue! | 1.1875 | 0.05398 | 64 | 53 | 10 | 1 |
2120 | No i will not trade seats with you back in coach if you show me a magic trick | 1.1875 | 0.04738 | 80 | 66 | 13 | 1 |
2121 | And now I will make your luggage disappear! | 1.1867 | 0.05910 | 75 | 65 | 6 | 4 |
2122 | and Voila', the pilot disappears!! | 1.1867 | 0.04911 | 75 | 62 | 12 | 1 |
2123 | When I wave this wand, you will forget that first class exists and that you are not there. | 1.1867 | 0.04911 | 75 | 62 | 12 | 1 |
2124 | Vaudeville returns to economy class. | 1.1867 | 0.05597 | 75 | 64 | 8 | 3 |
2125 | And for my next trick, I'll make your first meal choice DISAPPEAR! | 1.1867 | 0.04911 | 75 | 62 | 12 | 1 |
2126 | And in order to activate you flotation device,just say our favorite magic word ... "inflation". | 1.1867 | 0.04911 | 75 | 62 | 12 | 1 |
2127 | And if you would kindly take a peek into your wallets right now, you'll find that I've magically removed all of the airline surcharges. | 1.1867 | 0.05265 | 75 | 63 | 10 | 2 |
2128 | OK, so on-time arrival and no crying babies didn’t work. Let’s go for good food this time!” | 1.1867 | 0.05265 | 75 | 63 | 10 | 2 |
2129 | Now what I can’t do is transport you to first class, but I can get you a pack of stale peanuts for the low low price of $3.99, your sanity, and your gut health. | 1.1867 | 0.05910 | 75 | 65 | 6 | 4 |
2130 | Hocus Pocus: Leg Room! | 1.1867 | 0.05265 | 75 | 63 | 10 | 2 |
2131 | NOW can I get any volunteers? | 1.1867 | 0.05910 | 75 | 65 | 6 | 4 |
2132 | And now for my next trick, I'll make your luggage disappear. | 1.1867 | 0.05265 | 75 | 63 | 10 | 2 |
2133 | Now watch as I make your checked luggage disappear. | 1.1867 | 0.05597 | 75 | 64 | 8 | 3 |
2134 | And now the stewardess will magically appear in the overhead bins! | 1.1867 | 0.05910 | 75 | 65 | 6 | 4 |
2135 | For my next trick, I will return your seat backs and tray tables to the upright and locked position. | 1.1867 | 0.05265 | 75 | 63 | 10 | 2 |
2136 | . "Hello, I am your pilot. Captain Peter Pan..." | 1.1867 | 0.05910 | 75 | 65 | 6 | 4 |
2137 | Do you believe in magic? Because I just sent your bags to Toledo. | 1.1864 | 0.05114 | 59 | 48 | 11 | 0 |
2138 | Pick your own card before assisting others. | 1.1864 | 0.06151 | 59 | 50 | 7 | 2 |
2139 | Sorry, the magic comes later -- when our crew shows you how to use a seatbelt for what we assume is the first time in your adult life. | 1.1864 | 0.05657 | 59 | 49 | 9 | 1 |
2140 | And now I will bring back the captain and co-pilot. | 1.1864 | 0.05657 | 59 | 49 | 9 | 1 |
2141 | Say “ abra cadabra “ and you’ll be in first class | 1.1860 | 0.05363 | 86 | 74 | 8 | 4 |
2142 | When we land, presto! Luggage gone! | 1.1860 | 0.04533 | 86 | 71 | 14 | 1 |
2143 | For my next trick I'll your luggage disappear. | 1.1857 | 0.05105 | 70 | 58 | 11 | 1 |
2144 | Sure it can. See? | 1.1857 | 0.05105 | 70 | 58 | 11 | 1 |
2145 | Everyone is correct, we’re going to the Magic Kingdom! | 1.1857 | 0.05495 | 70 | 59 | 9 | 2 |
2146 | Worry not about this flight delay. Your connections will wait. | 1.1857 | 0.05860 | 70 | 60 | 7 | 3 |
2147 | And, voila! No more leg room! | 1.1857 | 0.05860 | 70 | 60 | 7 | 3 |
2148 | And all the little children will be sent ahead to baggage claim. | 1.1857 | 0.05495 | 70 | 59 | 9 | 2 |
2149 | Chicken, pasta, or locally sourced rabbit? | 1.1857 | 0.05860 | 70 | 60 | 7 | 3 |
2150 | ...and for $50 or 50,000 points you can upgrade to no-child class. | 1.1857 | 0.05495 | 70 | 59 | 9 | 2 |
2151 | Presto! And just like that, your oversized carry-on that you knew wouldn’t fit in the overhead is in Chicago. | 1.1857 | 0.05860 | 70 | 60 | 7 | 3 |
2152 | And now, watch me make the carbon emissions from this portion of your trip completely disappear! | 1.1857 | 0.05105 | 70 | 58 | 11 | 1 |
2153 | Watch me pull a rabbit out of the black box | 1.1857 | 0.05495 | 70 | 59 | 9 | 2 |
2154 | And for my next trick you'll all be enjoying flat-bed seats, Beef Wellington, and unlimited martinis on this one hour flight from San Francisco to Los Angeles. | 1.1857 | 0.06203 | 70 | 61 | 5 | 4 |
2155 | For my next trick, I will try to make your lost luggage reappear.” | 1.1857 | 0.05105 | 70 | 58 | 11 | 1 |
2156 | This entertainment is being provided for an additional fee. Inflight entertainment is no longer included in the ticket price. | 1.1857 | 0.05495 | 70 | 59 | 9 | 2 |
2157 | And for my next trick, I'll make oxygen masks fall from the panel above you. | 1.1852 | 0.05003 | 81 | 68 | 11 | 2 |
2158 | Movie royalties became too expensive. | 1.1852 | 0.04685 | 81 | 67 | 13 | 1 |
2159 | Thirsty? I shall summon the mystical Cart of Hydration! | 1.1852 | 0.05003 | 81 | 68 | 11 | 2 |
2160 | Ladies and gentlemen my magic show will entertain you for the next three hours and 24 minutes, until our landing in Los Angeles! | 1.1852 | 0.05003 | 81 | 68 | 11 | 2 |
2161 | Next, I'll make our complementary drinks service evaporate. | 1.1846 | 0.04850 | 65 | 53 | 12 | 0 |
2162 | I double-majored in aviation and wizardry | 1.1846 | 0.05756 | 65 | 55 | 8 | 2 |
2163 | Hocus Pocus - leg room disappears. Overhead bins crush your clothing. And, no more meals. This is progress. | 1.1846 | 0.06538 | 65 | 57 | 4 | 4 |
2164 | If he’s good, maybe our luggage will arrive with us. | 1.1846 | 0.05756 | 65 | 55 | 8 | 2 |
2165 | Wishing on a star might get you far | 1.1846 | 0.05322 | 65 | 54 | 10 | 1 |
2166 | This next trick went over big in first class. | 1.1846 | 0.05756 | 65 | 55 | 8 | 2 |
2167 | Actually, this is the talking stick. So shut up, and pay attention. | 1.1846 | 0.06160 | 65 | 56 | 6 | 3 |
2168 | with a wave of my wand, this plane will be gone! | 1.1846 | 0.04850 | 65 | 53 | 12 | 0 |
2169 | Abra-ca-dabra! You'll get to your destination on time and your luggage will not be lost in London. | 1.1846 | 0.05756 | 65 | 55 | 8 | 2 |
2170 | Here's a little trick of mine I like to call "plane boredom!" | 1.1846 | 0.05322 | 65 | 54 | 10 | 1 |
2171 | You are forgetting about the delay and the pink tagged bag, you are forgetting about the delay and the… | 1.1846 | 0.06160 | 65 | 56 | 6 | 3 |
2172 | Abra cadabra,guess where this flight is going! | 1.1846 | 0.05756 | 65 | 55 | 8 | 2 |
2173 | Magic can happen even in the sky!! | 1.1846 | 0.05756 | 65 | 55 | 8 | 2 |
2174 | ‘And now, for my next trick, I’m going to make all of you disappear into Finnair!’ | 1.1846 | 0.06160 | 65 | 56 | 6 | 3 |
2175 | Your seats will feel a foot apart. | 1.1846 | 0.04850 | 65 | 53 | 12 | 0 |
2176 | For my next trick, I’m going to need a volunteer with flexible travel plans.” | 1.1846 | 0.06160 | 65 | 56 | 6 | 3 |
2177 | My next trick involves publishing a lame cartoon caption. | 1.1842 | 0.04852 | 76 | 63 | 12 | 1 |
2178 | For my first trick, I will make us all fly! | 1.1842 | 0.05201 | 76 | 64 | 10 | 2 |
2179 | And now your luggage will magically reappear.! | 1.1842 | 0.04852 | 76 | 63 | 12 | 1 |
2180 | Our flight is on time,and it's magical! | 1.1842 | 0.05528 | 76 | 65 | 8 | 3 |
2181 | Do you believe in magic ? | 1.1842 | 0.05528 | 76 | 65 | 8 | 3 |
2182 | And now, to bring the color back into your lives... | 1.1842 | 0.05528 | 76 | 65 | 8 | 3 |
2183 | "Feel free to disappear from the cabin." | 1.1842 | 0.05528 | 76 | 65 | 8 | 3 |
2184 | Thanks to the Autopilot, I'm also into cloud appreciation and learning mandarin. | 1.1833 | 0.05570 | 60 | 50 | 9 | 1 |
2185 | More vodka? More peanuts? No problem! More legroom? Forget it! | 1.1833 | 0.05570 | 60 | 50 | 9 | 1 |
2186 | Bear with me. I was hired by a cruise ship but it ran aground. | 1.1833 | 0.05570 | 60 | 50 | 9 | 1 |
2187 | Hello sir , would u like pigeon or rabbit as a main course | 1.1833 | 0.05570 | 60 | 50 | 9 | 1 |
2188 | Now I’ll make leg-room…disappear! | 1.1831 | 0.05039 | 71 | 59 | 11 | 1 |
2189 | And now, for a trick I call "Back to the Past," I'll shift your seats into more legroom, with no meals or drinks charges, while I dissolve all fees for priority seating, checked and carry-on baggage, and cancellations! | 1.1831 | 0.05783 | 71 | 61 | 7 | 3 |
2190 | Abracadabra! Your luggage has just disappeared! | 1.1831 | 0.05424 | 71 | 60 | 9 | 2 |
2191 | Hold on, what do you mean you made the oxygen masks 'disappear?' | 1.1831 | 0.05783 | 71 | 61 | 7 | 3 |
2192 | And for my next trick, this plane will leave on time. | 1.1831 | 0.05039 | 71 | 59 | 11 | 1 |
2193 | "I need four volunteers who I will make vanish from the airplane." | 1.1831 | 0.05039 | 71 | 59 | 11 | 1 |
2194 | My next trick is to give you a bag of peanuts and a free glass of water! | 1.1831 | 0.05424 | 71 | 60 | 9 | 2 |
2195 | Yes! We do so much more than serve you food and beverages! | 1.1831 | 0.05039 | 71 | 59 | 11 | 1 |
2196 | Coffee, tea or glee? | 1.1831 | 0.05039 | 71 | 59 | 11 | 1 |
2197 | Or, if you prefer, you may use your flotation device. | 1.1831 | 0.05039 | 71 | 59 | 11 | 1 |
2198 | Please fasten your seatbelts for a magical ride. | 1.1831 | 0.05039 | 71 | 59 | 11 | 1 |
2199 | And now, for my next trick, I'll make the airline solvent. | 1.1831 | 0.05424 | 71 | 60 | 9 | 2 |
2200 | Are there any other unruly passengers who would like me to make them a hamburger? | 1.1829 | 0.05243 | 82 | 70 | 9 | 3 |
2201 | And for the Grand finale, I will swallow this plane whole - David Blaine | 1.1829 | 0.04947 | 82 | 69 | 11 | 2 |
2202 | And abracadabra your luggage will make it to your destination. | 1.1829 | 0.05522 | 82 | 71 | 7 | 4 |
2203 | With my Magic Self, I pilot, see! | 1.1829 | 0.04633 | 82 | 68 | 13 | 1 |
2204 | Welcome to Hell Ride. Let's ride to Multiverse where Trump got reelected. | 1.1829 | 0.05243 | 82 | 70 | 9 | 3 |
2205 | Welcome, to the new-we are not your parent's Trans World Airline! | 1.1829 | 0.05522 | 82 | 71 | 7 | 4 |
2206 | You must believe in me because I have the miracle of making man fly. | 1.1818 | 0.04784 | 66 | 54 | 12 | 0 |
2207 | Welcome aboard Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. For my first trick... | 1.1818 | 0.05249 | 66 | 55 | 10 | 1 |
2208 | And Presto! Your humanity totally disappears! | 1.1818 | 0.05139 | 77 | 65 | 10 | 2 |
2209 | Voila, you're legroom has disappeared!" | 1.1818 | 0.06055 | 77 | 68 | 4 | 5 |
2210 | And for my next trick, I will make your legroom completely disappear! | 1.1818 | 0.05249 | 66 | 55 | 10 | 1 |
2211 | The pilot is now telling me the delay is due to weather! | 1.1818 | 0.05249 | 66 | 55 | 10 | 1 |
2212 | Watch me pull a safe landing out of my hat. | 1.1818 | 0.05249 | 66 | 55 | 10 | 1 |
2213 | Welcome onboard Twinkle Airlines, I'm Captain Mandrake and will entertain you on our first auto-pilot flight, so sit back and relax. | 1.1818 | 0.06072 | 66 | 57 | 6 | 3 |
2214 | For my next trick, I'm going to make the romance of air travel reappear! | 1.1818 | 0.05249 | 66 | 55 | 10 | 1 |
2215 | And for my last trick, landing the plane without any working engines! | 1.1818 | 0.04424 | 77 | 63 | 14 | 0 |
2216 | You'll never get another chance like this. $10k and the kid disappears for good. | 1.1818 | 0.05139 | 77 | 65 | 10 | 2 |
2217 | More leg room sir and madame? | 1.1818 | 0.04784 | 66 | 54 | 12 | 0 |
2218 | You may have heard that there is no magic to flying a plane... Not true! | 1.1818 | 0.05249 | 66 | 55 | 10 | 1 |
2219 | And just like that, your reservation disappears | 1.1818 | 0.06072 | 66 | 57 | 6 | 3 |
2220 | And the landing will be magical. | 1.1818 | 0.05675 | 66 | 56 | 8 | 2 |
2221 | I only said I could make your bags disappear. I never said anything about making them show up again. | 1.1818 | 0.05675 | 66 | 56 | 8 | 2 |
2222 | After take off, I will magically disappear. Good luck! | 1.1818 | 0.05675 | 66 | 56 | 8 | 2 |
2223 | One wave of my wand and the plane will land. | 1.1818 | 0.05461 | 77 | 66 | 8 | 3 |
2224 | And now the bulkhead passengers will disappear. | 1.1818 | 0.04424 | 77 | 63 | 14 | 0 |
2225 | Sure, I'll just conjure up overhead bin space out of thin air. | 1.1818 | 0.05249 | 66 | 55 | 10 | 1 |
2226 | And for my next trick, I will shift the position of the luggage in the overhead bins | 1.1818 | 0.05675 | 66 | 56 | 8 | 2 |
2227 | Fly Me to the Moon, Let Me Play Among the Stars.... | 1.1818 | 0.05675 | 66 | 56 | 8 | 2 |
2228 | For my next act,I will do the impossible: make your leg space disappear even more! | 1.1818 | 0.05675 | 66 | 56 | 8 | 2 |
2229 | Now for my next trick, I will make our luggage disappear. | 1.1818 | 0.05675 | 66 | 56 | 8 | 2 |
2230 | And for my next trip, I shall make your in-flight meal disappear. | 1.1818 | 0.05249 | 66 | 55 | 10 | 1 |
2231 | Your carry-on is now complimentary. | 1.1818 | 0.04784 | 66 | 54 | 12 | 0 |
2232 | And now Ladies and Gentlemen, your legroom will shrink and then come back as an extra charge for carry on baggage! Kaboom! | 1.1818 | 0.04795 | 77 | 64 | 12 | 1 |
2233 | This will be a magical trip! | 1.1807 | 0.05184 | 83 | 71 | 9 | 3 |
2234 | When I wave this wane you'll feel like your flying! | 1.1807 | 0.04892 | 83 | 70 | 11 | 2 |
2235 | We have about as high of a success rate as the TSA. | 1.1807 | 0.04582 | 83 | 69 | 13 | 1 |
2236 | ...and then your bags will appear, on time. | 1.1806 | 0.04975 | 72 | 60 | 11 | 1 |
2237 | Our first-class passengers do not get to enjoy such first-class entertainment. | 1.1806 | 0.06041 | 72 | 63 | 5 | 4 |
2238 | I just made the airline's Customer Support disappear! | 1.1806 | 0.05354 | 72 | 61 | 9 | 2 |
2239 | Maybe someone else? A rabbit couldn't keep flying the plane. | 1.1806 | 0.05354 | 72 | 61 | 9 | 2 |
2240 | Economy class magic: your midget gets an upgrade! | 1.1806 | 0.05708 | 72 | 62 | 7 | 3 |
2241 | Put your head between your legs.The pilot has disappeared. | 1.1806 | 0.05354 | 72 | 61 | 9 | 2 |
2242 | And for our next trick, we'll depart on time and arrive on time. | 1.1806 | 0.05354 | 72 | 61 | 9 | 2 |
2243 | Welcome back ladies and gents to Spirit airline where we make your ghostly wishes come true | 1.1806 | 0.04975 | 72 | 60 | 11 | 1 |
2244 | And don’t forget: breathe normally! | 1.1806 | 0.04975 | 72 | 60 | 11 | 1 |
2245 | Presto, your nuts are warm. | 1.1806 | 0.05354 | 72 | 61 | 9 | 2 |
2246 | Anyone need their peanuts opened ? | 1.1806 | 0.05708 | 72 | 62 | 7 | 3 |
2247 | buckle up winsockie, buckle up | 1.1806 | 0.05708 | 72 | 62 | 7 | 3 |
2248 | Where’s s the life jacket ? | 1.1806 | 0.04975 | 72 | 60 | 11 | 1 |
2249 | And presto! Your frequent flier miles are gone. | 1.1806 | 0.04975 | 72 | 60 | 11 | 1 |
2250 | Welcome to Magic Airlines, where everyone gets a wake-up warlock! | 1.1806 | 0.05354 | 72 | 61 | 9 | 2 |
2251 | I'm your on-time genie. Wish me luck. | 1.1806 | 0.05354 | 72 | 61 | 9 | 2 |
2252 | And for my next trick, I’ll send your luggage to Rabat…Oops, I mean, turn it into a rabbit! | 1.1806 | 0.04975 | 72 | 60 | 11 | 1 |
2253 | I heard this is how #stevemartin got his start …. | 1.1806 | 0.04975 | 72 | 60 | 11 | 1 |
2254 | Oh no…I was warned about sitting in the front row. | 1.1803 | 0.05964 | 61 | 52 | 7 | 2 |
2255 | Ladies and gentlemen, for landing your large electronic devices shall now disappear. | 1.1803 | 0.05486 | 61 | 51 | 9 | 1 |
2256 | And if the oxygen masks drop down, I will disappear. | 1.1803 | 0.05486 | 61 | 51 | 9 | 1 |
2257 | If the plane is engufled in water, say “Abra cadabra”. | 1.1803 | 0.04963 | 61 | 50 | 11 | 0 |
2258 | No, on this airline we rely on the power of *magic*! | 1.1803 | 0.05964 | 61 | 52 | 7 | 2 |
2259 | Watch me pull a nonrefundable canceled flight ticket out of my hat. | 1.1803 | 0.05964 | 61 | 52 | 7 | 2 |
2260 | Oh c'mon. This is your last chance to believe! | 1.1803 | 0.06405 | 61 | 53 | 5 | 3 |
2261 | Izzy-doo, izzy-dane, the rabbit’s now flying the plane! | 1.1798 | 0.04676 | 89 | 75 | 12 | 2 |
2262 | Please take a few moments now to locate the nearest rabbit. In some cases, the nearest rabbit may be behind you. | 1.1795 | 0.04739 | 78 | 65 | 12 | 1 |
2263 | Poof. No more masks. | 1.1795 | 0.05396 | 78 | 67 | 8 | 3 |
2264 | I make baggage disappear! | 1.1795 | 0.04373 | 78 | 64 | 14 | 0 |
2265 | Next time honey,we are doing first class. | 1.1795 | 0.05396 | 78 | 67 | 8 | 3 |
2266 | Try to punch me - I dare you ... | 1.1795 | 0.05396 | 78 | 67 | 8 | 3 |
2267 | And for my next trick, the child seated behind you will whine incessantly for the next 3 hours. | 1.1791 | 0.05597 | 67 | 57 | 8 | 2 |
2268 | In the event of an emergency landing, wave the magic wand found in the seatback pocket in front of you. | 1.1791 | 0.05987 | 67 | 58 | 6 | 3 |
2269 | Voila! An extra two inches. | 1.1791 | 0.05597 | 67 | 57 | 8 | 2 |
2270 | ... you can hold your applause for when we land. | 1.1791 | 0.05177 | 67 | 56 | 10 | 1 |
2271 | And for my last trick, I guarantee your luggage will be waiting for you at the airport. | 1.1791 | 0.05177 | 67 | 56 | 10 | 1 |
2272 | Presto - all your luggage just disappeared! | 1.1791 | 0.05177 | 67 | 56 | 10 | 1 |
2273 | Watch me shrink your non existent leg room to where your legs will turn blue! | 1.1791 | 0.04720 | 67 | 55 | 12 | 0 |
2274 | Presto Change-O, the fares just went up” | 1.1791 | 0.05177 | 67 | 56 | 10 | 1 |
2275 | In case of an emergency this craft will be turned into the Good Ship Lollipop. | 1.1791 | 0.05597 | 67 | 57 | 8 | 2 |
2276 | A true magician never reveals his egress. | 1.1791 | 0.05177 | 67 | 56 | 10 | 1 |
2277 | The best way to sneak your bunny onto a plane. | 1.1791 | 0.05177 | 67 | 56 | 10 | 1 |
2278 | And for my next trick, I’m going to put the dignity back into air travel! | 1.1791 | 0.05597 | 67 | 57 | 8 | 2 |
2279 | ...and now for my final trick: you have to tolerate each other for the next two hours and not punch the crew in the back of the head. | 1.1786 | 0.06297 | 56 | 48 | 6 | 2 |
2280 | Let me entertain you, let me make you smile at 40,000 feet in the air! | 1.1786 | 0.05759 | 56 | 47 | 8 | 1 |
2281 | I'd kill just for the amount of leg-room provided by "saw a body in half" trick | 1.1786 | 0.07256 | 56 | 50 | 2 | 4 |
2282 | and for my final trick, I'm going to make the pilot disappear | 1.1786 | 0.06297 | 56 | 48 | 6 | 2 |
2283 | The only thing that's not magic is today's in flight credit card deal | 1.1781 | 0.05286 | 73 | 62 | 9 | 2 |
2284 | And for my next trick, I'll make D.B. Cooper reappear! | 1.1781 | 0.05634 | 73 | 63 | 7 | 3 |
2285 | And for our grand finale, reach down and pick up the card that slid down from 3 rows in front of you. | 1.1781 | 0.04913 | 73 | 61 | 11 | 1 |
2286 | Flight of the Valkyries | 1.1781 | 0.04913 | 73 | 61 | 11 | 1 |
2287 | And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, if this works we will be taking off! | 1.1781 | 0.05286 | 73 | 62 | 9 | 2 |
2288 | ...and Presto, the items in the overhead bin have now shifted slightly! | 1.1781 | 0.05286 | 73 | 62 | 9 | 2 |
2289 | Abra Cadabra When you open your eyes you won’t remember how long your flight was delayed! | 1.1781 | 0.04913 | 73 | 61 | 11 | 1 |
2290 | Abracadabra, it's February, 2020.... | 1.1781 | 0.04913 | 73 | 61 | 11 | 1 |
2291 | For my next trick, I'll make your luggage disappear. | 1.1781 | 0.04509 | 73 | 60 | 13 | 0 |
2292 | And for my next trick, I'll make oxygen masks magically appear | 1.1781 | 0.05286 | 73 | 62 | 9 | 2 |
2293 | Hey lady, rub my wand and I can make your partner disappear! | 1.1781 | 0.05962 | 73 | 64 | 5 | 4 |
2294 | Pulling legroom out of my hat was not part of the job description | 1.1778 | 0.04890 | 90 | 77 | 10 | 3 |
2295 | ...and...like magic...your drink cart has disappeared! | 1.1774 | 0.05405 | 62 | 52 | 9 | 1 |
2296 | If you move an inch, scream or misbehave, I will make this plane disappear. | 1.1774 | 0.06308 | 62 | 54 | 5 | 3 |
2297 | Abracadabra! Your flight has been re-routed through Kiyiv! | 1.1774 | 0.05874 | 62 | 53 | 7 | 2 |
2298 | Hi guys, just saying I don't understand Virgin Atlantic commercials either. | 1.1774 | 0.05405 | 62 | 52 | 9 | 1 |
2299 | .. and Hey Presto! Your connecting flight is cancelled! | 1.1774 | 0.05405 | 62 | 52 | 9 | 1 |
2300 | Can I get a volunteer? A licensed pilot volunteer. | 1.1774 | 0.05874 | 62 | 53 | 7 | 2 |
2301 | And for my next trick...even those peanuts will disappear! | 1.1774 | 0.05874 | 62 | 53 | 7 | 2 |
2302 | Now, for my next trick, I will make a friendly flight attendant appear and serve real food. | 1.1774 | 0.05874 | 62 | 53 | 7 | 2 |
2303 | The last guy who refused to get off disappeared. | 1.1774 | 0.04891 | 62 | 51 | 11 | 0 |
2304 | And with just the flick of my wrist I can oxygen masks appear from the ceiling. | 1.1774 | 0.05405 | 62 | 52 | 9 | 1 |
2305 | Abracadabra, for my first trick, I will make the baby smile for the entire plane ride! And… there is no second trick necessary! You’re welcome, folks! | 1.1772 | 0.05018 | 79 | 67 | 10 | 2 |
2306 | Hang tight as I attempt to make the captain reappear after my scheduled break. | 1.1772 | 0.05018 | 79 | 67 | 10 | 2 |
2307 | Peanuts,pretzels,or a rabbit? | 1.1772 | 0.05332 | 79 | 68 | 8 | 3 |
2308 | Well folks, we're about to crash, sooooo... I'm outta here! | 1.1765 | 0.05904 | 68 | 59 | 6 | 3 |
2309 | Extra legroom is free if you are sawn in half." | 1.1765 | 0.05107 | 68 | 57 | 10 | 1 |
2310 | Abracadabra! All of your checked luggage has disappeared! | 1.1765 | 0.05107 | 68 | 57 | 10 | 1 |
2311 | Shazam!! all your travel perks vanished, and prices have doubled. | 1.1765 | 0.05520 | 68 | 58 | 8 | 2 |
2312 | And for my next trick, 9/11 | 1.1765 | 0.05520 | 68 | 58 | 8 | 2 |
2313 | And presto! That's how you buckle a seat belt. | 1.1765 | 0.05520 | 68 | 58 | 8 | 2 |
2314 | For my last trick, I'm going to make your luggage DISSAPPEAR! | 1.1765 | 0.05520 | 68 | 58 | 8 | 2 |
2315 | I said I could make things fly... | 1.1765 | 0.06265 | 68 | 60 | 4 | 4 |
2316 | This wand could be yours for only $1299. See the catalog in your seat-back pocket to order now. | 1.1765 | 0.05107 | 68 | 57 | 10 | 1 |
2317 | Ahhhh folks, from the cockpit, just wanted to let you know that due to budget cuts we have merged our in-flight entertainment system with our Air Marshalls, so sit back and enjoy our new air magicians. | 1.1765 | 0.04786 | 85 | 72 | 11 | 2 |
2318 | …And then the oxygen masks will magically appear! | 1.1765 | 0.05107 | 68 | 57 | 10 | 1 |
2319 | And now I will make the air borne germs magically disappear! | 1.1765 | 0.05520 | 68 | 58 | 8 | 2 |
2320 | No no. I said a master delusionist. | 1.1765 | 0.05520 | 68 | 58 | 8 | 2 |
2321 | And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you make a bunch of annoying, guitar playing, whack job Christians disappear!” | 1.1765 | 0.05520 | 68 | 58 | 8 | 2 |
2322 | Anyone else want to ask me for an "upgrade?" | 1.1757 | 0.05219 | 74 | 63 | 9 | 2 |
2323 | Ladies and gentlemen, if you need anything, anything at all, I'll be happy to just wave my magic wand! | 1.1757 | 0.05563 | 74 | 64 | 7 | 3 |
2324 | Magically, all your carry on bags have fit into the overhead bins with no struggle!! You can thank me later!! | 1.1757 | 0.04852 | 74 | 62 | 11 | 1 |
2325 | Please keep your cell phones on and filming during takeoff, I'm trying to go viral. | 1.1757 | 0.04852 | 74 | 62 | 11 | 1 |
2326 | For my next trick, I will raise your seats to their full and upright positions. | 1.1757 | 0.04852 | 74 | 62 | 11 | 1 |
2327 | Who would like to volunteer their luggage for my disappearing act? | 1.1757 | 0.05563 | 74 | 64 | 7 | 3 |
2328 | God, I hate flying Southwest. | 1.1754 | 0.05083 | 57 | 47 | 10 | 0 |
2329 | Abracadabra. Your legroom has disappeared. | 1.1754 | 0.05665 | 57 | 48 | 8 | 1 |
2330 | And for a mere $8.99, I will make your air mask appear on your lap when it is needed | 1.1754 | 0.06194 | 57 | 49 | 6 | 2 |
2331 | In the case of an emergency landing, your seat cushion will disappear! | 1.1754 | 0.05665 | 57 | 48 | 8 | 1 |
2332 | And for our final feature First class will disembark first | 1.1754 | 0.06194 | 57 | 49 | 6 | 2 |
2333 | Abra-cadabra I have delayed your flight" | 1.1754 | 0.06194 | 57 | 49 | 6 | 2 |
2334 | ...and, after the free fall, I can make the plane do a series of 7 sequential somersaults! | 1.1754 | 0.05083 | 57 | 47 | 10 | 0 |
2335 | The in-flight movie is only $15.99 but you can get free entertainment just by asking! | 1.1754 | 0.05083 | 57 | 47 | 10 | 0 |
2336 | If your carry ons are where the wings used to be, what might we find in the overhead bins? | 1.1754 | 0.05665 | 57 | 48 | 8 | 1 |
2337 | And with magic I will make the flight arrive on time | 1.1754 | 0.05665 | 57 | 48 | 8 | 1 |
2338 | When the fasten seat belt is on.... | 1.1750 | 0.05270 | 80 | 69 | 8 | 3 |
2339 | I don't know how to make the pilot reappear, but wait until you see what I can do with a deck of cards. | 1.1750 | 0.04630 | 80 | 67 | 12 | 1 |
2340 | And my next trick will be landing the plane. | 1.1750 | 0.04960 | 80 | 68 | 10 | 2 |
2341 | Would you believe the pilot’s name is Harvey? | 1.1750 | 0.04960 | 80 | 68 | 10 | 2 |
2342 | Not necessarily magic, but perhaps as close as we come to conjuring an in-flight meal. | 1.1750 | 0.05270 | 80 | 69 | 8 | 3 |
2343 | Shazam! Now look out your window. We're being diverted to Buffalo. | 1.1750 | 0.05270 | 80 | 69 | 8 | 3 |
2344 | And for my next trick, I'll need somebody in the audience to lend me 50,000 bonus miles... | 1.1746 | 0.06213 | 63 | 55 | 5 | 3 |
2345 | And for my next trick, I'll hand out customs forms and make all your writing instruments disappear! | 1.1746 | 0.05326 | 63 | 53 | 9 | 1 |
2346 | And now, for my next trick, with a stroke of this wand I will upgrade the gentleman in the front row to first class -where no one is subjected to any B-grade magic shows. | 1.1746 | 0.04821 | 63 | 52 | 11 | 0 |
2347 | Thank me. I just made all your masks disappear permanently … | 1.1746 | 0.05326 | 63 | 53 | 9 | 1 |
2348 | I'll need a volunteer. My lucky assistant will also get a $300 voucher. | 1.1746 | 0.06213 | 63 | 55 | 5 | 3 |
2349 | For my next trick I’m going to make soft drink service disappear. | 1.1746 | 0.05326 | 63 | 53 | 9 | 1 |
2350 | Landing gear! | 1.1746 | 0.04821 | 63 | 52 | 11 | 0 |
2351 | The only magic I can’t do is to locate your lost luggage | 1.1746 | 0.05787 | 63 | 54 | 7 | 2 |
2352 | Close your eyes and Magically we'll be there. | 1.1746 | 0.04821 | 63 | 52 | 11 | 0 |
2353 | Lastly, I’ll make any modicum of joy you might experience during this flight, disappear. | 1.1746 | 0.04821 | 63 | 52 | 11 | 0 |
2354 | abracadabra your coke is now apple juice. | 1.1746 | 0.05326 | 63 | 53 | 9 | 1 |
2355 | When you sign up you’ll earn 80,000 miles and three wishes! | 1.1746 | 0.05787 | 63 | 54 | 7 | 2 |
2356 | Now THIS trick will stop air sickness | 1.1746 | 0.05326 | 63 | 53 | 9 | 1 |
2357 | Don't fret, but I seem to have disappeared the flaps." | 1.1746 | 0.04821 | 63 | 52 | 11 | 0 |
2358 | And for my next trick, I’ll make that child who keeps kicking your seat, fall asleep! | 1.1746 | 0.05787 | 63 | 54 | 7 | 2 |
2359 | And your luggage disappears! | 1.1746 | 0.05787 | 63 | 54 | 7 | 2 |
2360 | Sit back and enjoy the complimentary in-flight entertainment in coach. | 1.1739 | 0.05445 | 69 | 59 | 8 | 2 |
2361 | Anything is possible on the Hogwarts Express." | 1.1739 | 0.05824 | 69 | 60 | 6 | 3 |
2362 | AlaKazaam! I've made your leg- room disappear! | 1.1739 | 0.04596 | 69 | 57 | 12 | 0 |
2363 | *Breath of a tiger, blood of a tick, remove from these pages the tedious Gopnik!* Okay, good news, your copy of The New Yorker just got a little better. | 1.1739 | 0.05445 | 69 | 59 | 8 | 2 |
2364 | And voila - I've made all your COVID masks disappear! | 1.1739 | 0.05445 | 69 | 59 | 8 | 2 |
2365 | ...and for my next trick, I will make your legroom, onboard meals and checked luggage disappear! | 1.1739 | 0.05824 | 69 | 60 | 6 | 3 |
2366 | I'm just here to distract you from the fact this plane has gone into an unrecoverable nose dive. | 1.1739 | 0.05039 | 69 | 58 | 10 | 1 |
2367 | Enough with the jokes..I will now move onto magic. | 1.1739 | 0.05039 | 69 | 58 | 10 | 1 |
2368 | Sorry no, your luggage will not reappear | 1.1739 | 0.05824 | 69 | 60 | 6 | 3 |
2369 | A magician always reveals his safety cards. | 1.1739 | 0.05824 | 69 | 60 | 6 | 3 |
2370 | For my next trick, can I get a volunteer for a later flight? | 1.1739 | 0.04596 | 69 | 57 | 12 | 0 |
2371 | Last chance for extra leg room. | 1.1739 | 0.05445 | 69 | 59 | 8 | 2 |
2372 | So before TSA arrives... | 1.1739 | 0.05445 | 69 | 59 | 8 | 2 |
2373 | He moonlights as a pilot. | 1.1739 | 0.05039 | 69 | 58 | 10 | 1 |
2374 | Welcome to the Magic School Bus. | 1.1739 | 0.05445 | 69 | 59 | 8 | 2 |
2375 | And soon you will all safely arrive in Never Never Land. | 1.1739 | 0.05445 | 69 | 59 | 8 | 2 |
2376 | Watch your leg room magically disappear. | 1.1739 | 0.05039 | 69 | 58 | 10 | 1 |
2377 | And over the next four and a half hours, we'll make your will to live disappear! | 1.1739 | 0.05445 | 69 | 59 | 8 | 2 |
2378 | Those with Pullman service will reach warp speed transport first, the rest of us can clown around in the DeMaterialized Zone | 1.1739 | 0.05824 | 69 | 60 | 6 | 3 |
2379 | ALAKAZAM, you now think you have more leg room.. | 1.1739 | 0.05445 | 69 | 59 | 8 | 2 |
2380 | All of that safety briefing will protect you as much as this magic wand in case of a crash. Enjoy your flight! | 1.1739 | 0.05445 | 69 | 59 | 8 | 2 |
2381 | And with the flick of the wand your luggage will disappear for three days! | 1.1739 | 0.05824 | 69 | 60 | 6 | 3 |
2382 | Abracadabra! And that’s how we fit your suitcase into the overhead bin… or we’ll just gate check it. | 1.1739 | 0.05445 | 69 | 59 | 8 | 2 |
2383 | …and in the event of a water landing, simply wave the magic wand located under your seat. | 1.1739 | 0.06179 | 69 | 61 | 4 | 4 |
2384 | Even magic has it’s limits. Pretend you’re there already . | 1.1739 | 0.05039 | 69 | 58 | 10 | 1 |
2385 | And for my next trick I will make the couple in Row A disappear into thin air. | 1.1739 | 0.05824 | 69 | 60 | 6 | 3 |
2386 | You are sitting in the magician aisle. Do you agree to comply with my magic tricks as a form of in-flight entertainment?” | 1.1733 | 0.05155 | 75 | 64 | 9 | 2 |
2387 | It’s magic if your bags appear at your destination! | 1.1733 | 0.05155 | 75 | 64 | 9 | 2 |
2388 | You can expect an on-time arrival | 1.1733 | 0.04792 | 75 | 63 | 11 | 1 |
2389 | And when we land your luggage will have disappeared ! | 1.1733 | 0.05155 | 75 | 64 | 9 | 2 |
2390 | Everything will be just fine and please remember what I told you about your oxygen masks and life vests. | 1.1733 | 0.05155 | 75 | 64 | 9 | 2 |
2391 | Attention Passemgers, instead of the safety demonstration, I am going to do my magic tricks. Please pay attention while I replicate how a jet is downed | 1.1733 | 0.04792 | 75 | 63 | 11 | 1 |
2392 | Abracadabra, now this magic wand will make you fly in the air | 1.1733 | 0.05155 | 75 | 64 | 9 | 2 |
2393 | I'm your magical flight attendant. I can pull peanuts out of my hat, make a crying baby disappear, and saw a rude passenger in half. | 1.1733 | 0.05493 | 75 | 65 | 7 | 3 |
2394 | And that's how we magically send your luggage to the other side of the globe. | 1.1733 | 0.05155 | 75 | 64 | 9 | 2 |
2395 | Abracadabra--you're all aware of this planes safety protocols! | 1.1731 | 0.05967 | 52 | 44 | 7 | 1 |
2396 | And do you really believe my magic wand will buckle your seatbelts for you? | 1.1728 | 0.05497 | 81 | 71 | 6 | 4 |
2397 | If you all even THINK of misbehaving, I'll make the captain disappear. | 1.1728 | 0.04903 | 81 | 69 | 10 | 2 |
2398 | I'm the designated backup, in case the Bermuda Triangle malfunctions. | 1.1724 | 0.06571 | 58 | 51 | 4 | 3 |
2399 | And like magic, the oxygen mask will appear and we recommend you put it on or you will disappear. | 1.1724 | 0.04389 | 87 | 73 | 13 | 1 |
2400 | Children, Ladies and Gentlemen, watch the magic show and try not to think about climate change | 1.1724 | 0.06094 | 58 | 50 | 6 | 2 |
2401 | And just like that, your flight is invisible | 1.1724 | 0.06094 | 58 | 50 | 6 | 2 |
2402 | For my next illusion, I’ll try out this oxygen mask | 1.1724 | 0.05003 | 58 | 48 | 10 | 0 |
2403 | Let’s pretend we’re going somewhere. | 1.1724 | 0.05575 | 58 | 49 | 8 | 1 |
2404 | And for my next trick, I’ll attempt to make the pilot reappear! | 1.1724 | 0.06094 | 58 | 50 | 6 | 2 |
2405 | And this is for attracting attention | 1.1724 | 0.05575 | 58 | 49 | 8 | 1 |
2406 | For my next trick, I will land the plane with my eyes closed. | 1.1724 | 0.05575 | 58 | 49 | 8 | 1 |
2407 | Airlines resort to magic to mesmerize angry passengers. | 1.1724 | 0.05575 | 58 | 49 | 8 | 1 |
2408 | It'll be magic if you make your connection. | 1.1724 | 0.05575 | 58 | 49 | 8 | 1 |
2409 | The following day, in-flight movies were invented. | 1.1724 | 0.06094 | 58 | 50 | 6 | 2 |
2410 | Poof! Your luggage has disappeared! | 1.1719 | 0.05702 | 64 | 55 | 7 | 2 |
2411 | You'll find this under your seat instead of a life vest, because, why not? | 1.1719 | 0.05249 | 64 | 54 | 9 | 1 |
2412 | And now for the safety demonstration | 1.1719 | 0.05249 | 64 | 54 | 9 | 1 |
2413 | Yes, I am a figment of your imagination. | 1.1719 | 0.04753 | 64 | 53 | 11 | 0 |
2414 | Watch me pull an O'Hare out of my hat. | 1.1719 | 0.05702 | 64 | 55 | 7 | 2 |
2415 | But our legroom wasn't here even before you waved you wand. | 1.1719 | 0.06122 | 64 | 56 | 5 | 3 |
2416 | If you're angry and aggressive, I'll make you disappear from this aircraft! | 1.1719 | 0.04753 | 64 | 53 | 11 | 0 |
2417 | Hey! Who wants to get sawed in half? | 1.1719 | 0.04753 | 64 | 53 | 11 | 0 |
2418 | First Class has now been vanished and you are free to roam the Cabin. | 1.1719 | 0.05702 | 64 | 55 | 7 | 2 |
2419 | John Darling at your service! The Captain's name is Hook. Tink's up in first class with Wendy. | 1.1719 | 0.04753 | 64 | 53 | 11 | 0 |
2420 | And for my next trick, I will try to make your wallet reappear! | 1.1719 | 0.05249 | 64 | 54 | 9 | 1 |
2421 | If the oxygen masks don't drop, try this... | 1.1719 | 0.05249 | 64 | 54 | 9 | 1 |
2422 | Watch closely as I make three hours of your day disappear right before your very eyes! | 1.1719 | 0.05249 | 64 | 54 | 9 | 1 |
2423 | Pilots’ trick or treat, folks! They’re taking us to Singapore instead of Paris! | 1.1719 | 0.05249 | 64 | 54 | 9 | 1 |
2424 | And...poof! There go your free amenities! | 1.1719 | 0.05702 | 64 | 55 | 7 | 2 |
2425 | I'm your friendly flight attendant. Please pay close attention while I explain what happens your frequent flyer miles after January first. | 1.1719 | 0.06514 | 64 | 57 | 3 | 4 |
2426 | An on time departure? Sir, I'm a magician not a wizard. | 1.1719 | 0.05702 | 64 | 55 | 7 | 2 |
2427 | Prepare to be astounded as I make your hope for arriving on time disappear! | 1.1714 | 0.04537 | 70 | 58 | 12 | 0 |
2428 | ...and now for another magic word - the one that caucasians aren't *allowed* to say... | 1.1714 | 0.05373 | 70 | 60 | 8 | 2 |
2429 | Gas prices have gone up so I need to collect more money. | 1.1714 | 0.05373 | 70 | 60 | 8 | 2 |
2430 | And presto, your seatbelt is buckled! | 1.1714 | 0.04973 | 70 | 59 | 10 | 1 |
2431 | Pay us $18,000 more, and - poof! - you'll all be in flatbeds. | 1.1714 | 0.04973 | 70 | 59 | 10 | 1 |
2432 | No cancellations, no delays and free peanuts. | 1.1714 | 0.05745 | 70 | 61 | 6 | 3 |
2433 | And for my next trick, I'll make complimentary beverage service disappear! | 1.1714 | 0.05745 | 70 | 61 | 6 | 3 |
2434 | Is this supposed to distract us from having to pay for water and the 3 hour delay? | 1.1714 | 0.05745 | 70 | 61 | 6 | 3 |
2435 | I’m sorry, Sir, it’s part of our “No Tolerance” policy | 1.1714 | 0.04973 | 70 | 59 | 10 | 1 |
2436 | Abra-ca-airborne! | 1.1711 | 0.05091 | 76 | 65 | 9 | 2 |
2437 | On the count of 3, the bulkhead will disappear, and you will be in first class! | 1.1711 | 0.05091 | 76 | 65 | 9 | 2 |
2438 | And you will magically forget all of these safety instructions in an emergency | 1.1711 | 0.05091 | 76 | 65 | 9 | 2 |
2439 | I can honestly do whatever I want during the pre-flight safety demonstration and no one will ever notice. | 1.1711 | 0.05425 | 76 | 66 | 7 | 3 |
2440 | It may not look like much but this is my Las Vegas. | 1.1711 | 0.05091 | 76 | 65 | 9 | 2 |
2441 | And now I'll turn your nuts into smoked salmon. | 1.1707 | 0.04848 | 82 | 70 | 10 | 2 |
2442 | Good news. We're transitioning from hand sanitizers and masks. | 1.1707 | 0.04848 | 82 | 70 | 10 | 2 |
2443 | Finally, I will produce a single empty seat in coach. | 1.1698 | 0.05207 | 53 | 44 | 9 | 0 |
2444 | And for my next trick, I will quietly quit before your eyes! | 1.1698 | 0.05862 | 53 | 45 | 7 | 1 |
2445 | In the event of an emergency, you will find the card you chose at the terminal in the under-seat compartment. | 1.1698 | 0.06992 | 53 | 47 | 3 | 3 |
2446 | This is a magic wand in my hand and I’m happy to see you | 1.1698 | 0.06452 | 53 | 46 | 5 | 2 |
2447 | And now for my next trick I will make more overhead room | 1.1698 | 0.05862 | 53 | 45 | 7 | 1 |
2448 | And now folks, I am going make all of your luggage disappear if it hasn't disappeared already. | 1.1695 | 0.05997 | 59 | 51 | 6 | 2 |
2449 | Poof. You inflight meals have also disappeared. | 1.1695 | 0.05488 | 59 | 50 | 8 | 1 |
2450 | “If the airplane loses cabin pressure, voila - oxygen masks." | 1.1695 | 0.05488 | 59 | 50 | 8 | 1 |
2451 | And like magic,we'll land in New York ! | 1.1695 | 0.05488 | 59 | 50 | 8 | 1 |
2452 | With a waive of this wand, the kid seated behind you won't kick your seat even once! | 1.1695 | 0.04926 | 59 | 49 | 10 | 0 |
2453 | It's called sleight of hand, not room of leg. | 1.1695 | 0.05488 | 59 | 50 | 8 | 1 |
2454 | In the event of a water landing, a flock of doves will appear beneath your seat. | 1.1695 | 0.05997 | 59 | 51 | 6 | 2 |
2455 | ''MAY I ENTERTAIN YOU?" | 1.1695 | 0.05488 | 59 | 50 | 8 | 1 |
2456 | Let us pray to God for a safe landing. | 1.1695 | 0.05997 | 59 | 51 | 6 | 2 |
2457 | Liferabbits can be found under your seats. | 1.1695 | 0.04926 | 59 | 49 | 10 | 0 |
2458 | So if you could all say after me, abracadabra engines please stop burning. | 1.1695 | 0.04926 | 59 | 49 | 10 | 0 |
2459 | And for my next trick, I'm going to make all the crew disappear. | 1.1692 | 0.05174 | 65 | 55 | 9 | 1 |
2460 | Welcome to the first class! We begin with Levitation 101. | 1.1692 | 0.06032 | 65 | 57 | 5 | 3 |
2461 | And now, boys and girls, for my final trick, I am doubling the cost of each ticket held by a person with at least one dental implant. | 1.1692 | 0.05620 | 65 | 56 | 7 | 2 |
2462 | For my next trick, I’ll make the pilot disappear. | 1.1692 | 0.04687 | 65 | 54 | 11 | 0 |
2463 | There is no inflight service but trick or treat? | 1.1692 | 0.05174 | 65 | 55 | 9 | 1 |
2464 | And now the meal is edible. Just kidding. | 1.1692 | 0.05174 | 65 | 55 | 9 | 1 |
2465 | Abracadabra! You are now at your destination, or will be when the pilot lands this plane. For my next trick, you're luggage will be there also. | 1.1692 | 0.05620 | 65 | 56 | 7 | 2 |
2466 | For my next trick I'm going to land the plane | 1.1692 | 0.05174 | 65 | 55 | 9 | 1 |
2467 | Do you like our new uniforms! | 1.1692 | 0.05620 | 65 | 56 | 7 | 2 |
2468 | For a mere $500 surcharge, we provide VR headsets which will make it seem like you are flying First Class. From the finest wines to private sleeping cubicles, we "offer" it all. | 1.1692 | 0.05620 | 65 | 56 | 7 | 2 |
2469 | Since you loved the trick where $50 disappeared from your wallets to pay for a second bag, I am sure you'll enjoy being hypnotized into using your credit cards for expensive snacks and drinks that were free two years ago. | 1.1692 | 0.05174 | 65 | 55 | 9 | 1 |
2470 | Your flight is late. This is a very large thermometer. I'll leave the rest to your imagination. | 1.1692 | 0.06032 | 65 | 57 | 5 | 3 |
2471 | I can conjure up anything, except more leg room. | 1.1692 | 0.04687 | 65 | 54 | 11 | 0 |
2472 | And that's how Donald Trump was re-elected President. | 1.1692 | 0.05620 | 65 | 56 | 7 | 2 |
2473 | ''After this number I'll go back to flying the plane.'' | 1.1692 | 0.05174 | 65 | 55 | 9 | 1 |
2474 | And with a simple wave of my wand, I will disable the 'call flight attendant button.' | 1.1692 | 0.05620 | 65 | 56 | 7 | 2 |
2475 | I wish I could turn off the inflight entertainment system. | 1.1692 | 0.05174 | 65 | 55 | 9 | 1 |
2476 | And now for my next trick , I'm going to make everyone who flies on an airline sane again " | 1.1690 | 0.04479 | 71 | 59 | 12 | 0 |
2477 | “ Dream along with me, I’m on my way to the stars … “ | 1.1690 | 0.04908 | 71 | 60 | 10 | 1 |
2478 | I'm hoping to quit my day job. | 1.1690 | 0.04908 | 71 | 60 | 10 | 1 |
2479 | For my next trick, I'll make your tiny bit of legroom disappear. | 1.1690 | 0.05302 | 71 | 61 | 8 | 2 |
2480 | Let me tell you about our magical seatbelts. | 1.1690 | 0.04479 | 71 | 59 | 12 | 0 |
2481 | No, I can't make a complimentary soft drink and miniature bag of peanuts appear. | 1.1690 | 0.05302 | 71 | 61 | 8 | 2 |
2482 | Voila, the magic mask! | 1.1690 | 0.04908 | 71 | 60 | 10 | 1 |
2483 | Give them the old razzle dazzle; razzle dazzle em | 1.1690 | 0.04908 | 71 | 60 | 10 | 1 |
2484 | Ever wondered what snakes on the plane eat? Watch closely. | 1.1690 | 0.05302 | 71 | 61 | 8 | 2 |
2485 | Did someone drop a vape pen in the first class loo? | 1.1690 | 0.05302 | 71 | 61 | 8 | 2 |
2486 | Abracadabra! There will be no complaints! | 1.1690 | 0.05302 | 71 | 61 | 8 | 2 |
2487 | Can I conjure up some more leg room for you? | 1.1690 | 0.04908 | 71 | 60 | 10 | 1 |
2488 | And a 'wand' a two and a three. | 1.1690 | 0.04479 | 71 | 59 | 12 | 0 |
2489 | It is amazing all right. It' detects oversize carry-ons and automatically bills as checked luggage. | 1.1690 | 0.04479 | 71 | 59 | 12 | 0 |
2490 | With a wave of my wand, your bladders and bowels will remain dormant for the whole flight... | 1.1690 | 0.05302 | 71 | 61 | 8 | 2 |
2491 | What's the hat for? | 1.1688 | 0.04678 | 77 | 65 | 11 | 1 |
2492 | For my next trick I will send someone’s luggage to the correct airport. | 1.1688 | 0.05669 | 77 | 68 | 5 | 4 |
2493 | Abra Cadabra to First Class or a Space Ship? | 1.1688 | 0.05359 | 77 | 67 | 7 | 3 |
2494 | In unlikely event of a water landing, your seat cushion magically becomes a flotation device. | 1.1688 | 0.04678 | 77 | 65 | 11 | 1 |
2495 | If she kicks you again,I can make her disappear! | 1.1688 | 0.05030 | 77 | 66 | 9 | 2 |
2496 | The people back in coach only get a couple of lousy card tricks. | 1.1688 | 0.04678 | 77 | 65 | 11 | 1 |
2497 | We may never reach JFK with all this misdirection. | 1.1688 | 0.05030 | 77 | 66 | 9 | 2 |
2498 | This is your pilot speaking! | 1.1687 | 0.04476 | 83 | 70 | 12 | 1 |
2499 | I'm your pilot now! | 1.1687 | 0.04793 | 83 | 71 | 10 | 2 |
2500 | Would you like me to saw you in half? | 1.1667 | 0.05403 | 60 | 51 | 8 | 1 |
2501 | Watch your ETA disappear. | 1.1667 | 0.05600 | 78 | 69 | 5 | 4 |
2502 | Want to see me pull the pilot out of my hat? | 1.1667 | 0.05595 | 72 | 63 | 6 | 3 |
2503 | Say ‘abra-ka-dabra’…… or the plane crashes. | 1.1667 | 0.05403 | 60 | 51 | 8 | 1 |
2504 | I can pull many things out of my hat, but not leg room. | 1.1667 | 0.06339 | 54 | 47 | 5 | 2 |
2505 | Pixie dust and magic my friend! | 1.1667 | 0.05903 | 60 | 52 | 6 | 2 |
2506 | Now watch as I attempt to make your leg room REAPPEAR! | 1.1667 | 0.05233 | 72 | 62 | 8 | 2 |
2507 | And now watch as I make your luggage disappear! | 1.1667 | 0.05233 | 72 | 62 | 8 | 2 |
2508 | For my next trick, I need a disgruntled passenger to put on the straight jacket. | 1.1667 | 0.04845 | 72 | 61 | 10 | 1 |
2509 | Yes. My access to the pantry can satisfy your desires for something before we reach our destination, I hope. | 1.1667 | 0.04623 | 66 | 55 | 11 | 0 |
2510 | When I say abracadabra this enormously heavy object will take you far above the earth and remain there until I tell it to descend. | 1.1667 | 0.04970 | 78 | 67 | 9 | 2 |
2511 | Alright everyone close your eyes, count to 3, and watch that mountain disappear! | 1.1667 | 0.05233 | 72 | 62 | 8 | 2 |
2512 | For my next trick I will revive the pilot | 1.1667 | 0.05540 | 66 | 57 | 7 | 2 |
2513 | Snacks? Once you had them, now you don’t” | 1.1667 | 0.05761 | 54 | 46 | 7 | 1 |
2514 | I can get you there quicker with this | 1.1667 | 0.05233 | 72 | 62 | 8 | 2 |
2515 | OK, who's up for a magic show in place of a nothing meal? | 1.1667 | 0.04970 | 78 | 67 | 9 | 2 |
2516 | Hocus presto, Thanksgiving is over and you are fifteen minutes from home. | 1.1667 | 0.05233 | 72 | 62 | 8 | 2 |
2517 | To help keep your mind off the delays, unscheduled re-routing, lost luggage, and the fact that we ran out of snacks on the connecting flight, allow me to dazzle you with feats of prestidigitation. | 1.1667 | 0.05102 | 66 | 56 | 9 | 1 |
2518 | The magic stops, only if/when the plane itself crashes. | 1.1667 | 0.05403 | 60 | 51 | 8 | 1 |
2519 | Dear passengers, as part of the improvement of our services, we offer you an entertainment show instead of a multimedia screen. | 1.1667 | 0.05102 | 66 | 56 | 9 | 1 |
2520 | Abraca-cancelled connection! | 1.1667 | 0.05403 | 60 | 51 | 8 | 1 |
2521 | The pressing question is whether he can pull a landing gear out of that hat. | 1.1667 | 0.04845 | 72 | 61 | 10 | 1 |
2522 | Next I will make your impatience disappear. | 1.1667 | 0.05102 | 66 | 56 | 9 | 1 |
2523 | Alas, not even I can make your luggage appear. | 1.1667 | 0.05595 | 72 | 63 | 6 | 3 |
2524 | ....and for my next trick folks, I'm going to make your trip comfortable.... | 1.1667 | 0.05102 | 66 | 56 | 9 | 1 |
2525 | In the case of emergency, I do take Venmo, PayPal, and Apple Cash to make your oxygen masks appear out of thin air | 1.1667 | 0.05761 | 54 | 46 | 7 | 1 |
2526 | I grant you three wishes, none of which may address your comfort, safety, or arrival time on this flight. | 1.1667 | 0.04623 | 66 | 55 | 11 | 0 |
2527 | And now, all your masks will vanish, and some of you will be happy. | 1.1667 | 0.05946 | 66 | 58 | 5 | 3 |
2528 | 0ne wave of this wand and the kid won’t kick | 1.1667 | 0.05946 | 66 | 58 | 5 | 3 |
2529 | For my next trick, watch as I make all your luggage disappear. | 1.1667 | 0.05102 | 66 | 56 | 9 | 1 |
2530 | Me’ Name’s Darby O’Gill and you “Little People” need to know that Elon only said he would get you to the moon. | 1.1667 | 0.05540 | 66 | 57 | 7 | 2 |
2531 | And now to make your luggage appear at baggage claim | 1.1667 | 0.05403 | 60 | 51 | 8 | 1 |
2532 | These seats are wonderfully comfortable and the food's great. Oh? You don't believe in magic? | 1.1667 | 0.05595 | 72 | 63 | 6 | 3 |
2533 | And for my last trick, I'll pull a whisper of gratitude out of first class. | 1.1667 | 0.05233 | 72 | 62 | 8 | 2 |
2534 | Now to make your overhead luggage re-appear! | 1.1667 | 0.06363 | 60 | 53 | 4 | 3 |
2535 | Voila - the meal is lip smacking good! | 1.1667 | 0.04423 | 72 | 60 | 12 | 0 |
2536 | For my next trick, you will now have to pick up your carry-on at baggage claim. | 1.1667 | 0.05294 | 78 | 68 | 7 | 3 |
2537 | Would you like a trick or a treat? | 1.1667 | 0.05903 | 60 | 52 | 6 | 2 |
2538 | With a little magic, we might take off on time! | 1.1667 | 0.05540 | 66 | 57 | 7 | 2 |
2539 | In case of emergency a magic wand will drop down; wave it around like this and say "abracadabra". | 1.1667 | 0.05102 | 66 | 56 | 9 | 1 |
2540 | Instead of your next trick,could you get back to flying the plane? | 1.1667 | 0.05761 | 54 | 46 | 7 | 1 |
2541 | Abracadabra! Your dignity has disappeared! | 1.1667 | 0.05294 | 78 | 68 | 7 | 3 |
2542 | And now, as requested by an anonymous passenger, I'll show you how to make your partner disappear! | 1.1667 | 0.04845 | 72 | 61 | 10 | 1 |
2543 | For the next hour of your ground hold, can I have a volunteer from the extra legroom rows | 1.1667 | 0.05595 | 72 | 63 | 6 | 3 |
2544 | Then,thrillingly bumping our way through the Asteroid Belt,w | 1.1667 | 0.04845 | 72 | 61 | 10 | 1 |
2545 | Abracadabra You have just won an all expenses paid overnight stay at the Marriott! | 1.1667 | 0.05903 | 60 | 52 | 6 | 2 |
2546 | I learned the art of misdirection as a baggage handler! | 1.1667 | 0.05403 | 60 | 51 | 8 | 1 |
2547 | And with a wave of this wand, I will make our plane levitate until we reach our destination in Denver. | 1.1667 | 0.05540 | 66 | 57 | 7 | 2 |
2548 | Look! The plane is flying itself! | 1.1667 | 0.05294 | 78 | 68 | 7 | 3 |
2549 | Hi folks. You heard right. The pilot apologizes for the unexpected delay . And so, for the next four hours on the tarmac, I'm here to entertain you. Please join in if the spirit moves you. | 1.1667 | 0.05403 | 60 | 51 | 8 | 1 |
2550 | And now, I am going to make all of you passengers disappear. | 1.1667 | 0.04852 | 60 | 50 | 10 | 0 |
2551 | I call this next one “tricky landing” #MyNewYorkerCaption | 1.1667 | 0.04255 | 90 | 76 | 13 | 1 |
2552 | Actually, rows 17 through 34 bet me I couldn’t get your daughter to stop crying. | 1.1667 | 0.05540 | 66 | 57 | 7 | 2 |
2553 | Is that a rabbit in my hat, or perhaps a cheese snack? | 1.1667 | 0.05102 | 66 | 56 | 9 | 1 |
2554 | Abracadabra, increase their legroom! | 1.1667 | 0.05102 | 66 | 56 | 9 | 1 |
2555 | Items may shift into the shape of a white rabbit during flight | 1.1667 | 0.05403 | 60 | 51 | 8 | 1 |
2556 | I cannot guarantee that we will arrive at destination but it will still be a fun experience! | 1.1667 | 0.05102 | 66 | 56 | 9 | 1 |
2557 | Close your eyes, you can fly! | 1.1667 | 0.05102 | 66 | 56 | 9 | 1 |
2558 | pilot:".... and this is how you fly a plane" | 1.1667 | 0.05102 | 66 | 56 | 9 | 1 |
2559 | And for my next trick, I'll make your luggage disappear... oh, wait. | 1.1646 | 0.04568 | 79 | 67 | 11 | 1 |
2560 | For my first trick, I will make the pilot disappear! | 1.1646 | 0.04568 | 79 | 67 | 11 | 1 |
2561 | and when you wake up you will be at your destination | 1.1646 | 0.04568 | 79 | 67 | 11 | 1 |
2562 | For my next trick, I'll use 18,000 gallons of jet fuel to solve your marital problems, cure your mental illness, and delude you into believing your life under capitalism is fulfilling. | 1.1644 | 0.05166 | 73 | 63 | 8 | 2 |
2563 | Shazam ,you have more legroom. | 1.1644 | 0.05522 | 73 | 64 | 6 | 3 |
2564 | And now, I will conjure up a special bonus miles credit card offer that's only good on today's flight! | 1.1644 | 0.04784 | 73 | 62 | 10 | 1 |
2565 | And just like that I made COVID disappear. | 1.1644 | 0.05522 | 73 | 64 | 6 | 3 |
2566 | And for my next magic trick, I 'll try to make the plane arrive on time. | 1.1644 | 0.05166 | 73 | 63 | 8 | 2 |
2567 | Finally the moment you’ve been desperately begging for. Here’s where the emergency exit doors are. | 1.1644 | 0.05166 | 73 | 63 | 8 | 2 |
2568 | I wave my magic wand and PRESTO! The flight isn't cancelled and the landing gear stays on. | 1.1644 | 0.04368 | 73 | 61 | 12 | 0 |
2569 | And now, abracadabra, all crying babies disappear with your luggage | 1.1644 | 0.05166 | 73 | 63 | 8 | 2 |
2570 | 23 Ski Dooski | 1.1644 | 0.05522 | 73 | 64 | 6 | 3 |
2571 | Who farted? | 1.1644 | 0.04784 | 73 | 62 | 10 | 1 |
2572 | And with a flick of my wand, the cabin will lose pressure and the oxygen masks will magically appear. | 1.1644 | 0.04784 | 73 | 62 | 10 | 1 |
2573 | My magic will ensure your safety from your fellow passenger rage. | 1.1642 | 0.05031 | 67 | 57 | 9 | 1 |
2574 | And for my next trick, you get a free bag of nuts | 1.1642 | 0.05031 | 67 | 57 | 9 | 1 |
2575 | And for my neatest trick: a delicious home-cooked meal! | 1.1642 | 0.05462 | 67 | 58 | 7 | 2 |
2576 | ...and now for my next trick, you have leg room. | 1.1642 | 0.04560 | 67 | 56 | 11 | 0 |
2577 | Behold,as I trick the captain into staying awake! | 1.1642 | 0.05862 | 67 | 59 | 5 | 3 |
2578 | In the unlikely event of loss of cabin pressure, oxygen makes will magically appear! | 1.1642 | 0.05462 | 67 | 58 | 7 | 2 |
2579 | And with this trick, I will vanish your children for the duration of the flight. | 1.1642 | 0.05462 | 67 | 58 | 7 | 2 |
2580 | Watch while I make 3” of legroom magically disappear! | 1.1642 | 0.05031 | 67 | 57 | 9 | 1 |
2581 | What we never see right before those unruly passenger videos… the annoying in-flight magician. | 1.1642 | 0.05462 | 67 | 58 | 7 | 2 |
2582 | Presto! Your leg room has disappeared. | 1.1642 | 0.04560 | 67 | 56 | 11 | 0 |
2583 | Can I get you some more leg room? | 1.1642 | 0.05031 | 67 | 57 | 9 | 1 |
2584 | Can you believe I was performing in the airport lounge an hour ago? And they say consumers don't benefit from understaffing. | 1.1642 | 0.05862 | 67 | 59 | 5 | 3 |
2585 | Watch me while I make two more inches from your seat pitch disappear! | 1.1642 | 0.05031 | 67 | 57 | 9 | 1 |
2586 | And for my next trick, I'll actually get you some food. | 1.1642 | 0.05031 | 67 | 57 | 9 | 1 |
2587 | It's your lucky day, today I'll be escaping from a crashing airplane for your entertainment! | 1.1642 | 0.05462 | 67 | 58 | 7 | 2 |
2588 | With a few magic words and the wave of this wand, you will instantly be hypnotized to believe you are flying first class. | 1.1642 | 0.04560 | 67 | 56 | 11 | 0 |
2589 | Well, how about YOU come up with a better idea for people to pay attention to the pre-flight safety demonstration? | 1.1642 | 0.05862 | 67 | 59 | 5 | 3 |
2590 | The rabbit is in the hole,and we are cleated for take off. | 1.1639 | 0.04779 | 61 | 51 | 10 | 0 |
2591 | and for my next trick, i'll make your luggage disappear | 1.1639 | 0.04779 | 61 | 51 | 10 | 0 |
2592 | And if you had looked out the right side of the plane a few seconds ago, you would have seen the rabbit reappear! | 1.1639 | 0.05321 | 61 | 52 | 8 | 1 |
2593 | Abracadabra and the pilot materializes. Hmm, wait, wait; let me try again. | 1.1639 | 0.04779 | 61 | 51 | 10 | 0 |
2594 | And now you'll think you're in your happy place | 1.1639 | 0.04779 | 61 | 51 | 10 | 0 |
2595 | And just like that the overhead bins are full. | 1.1639 | 0.04779 | 61 | 51 | 10 | 0 |
2596 | And now, I want all of you to stop worrying that this li'l ol' plane is gonna drop right out of the sky and plunge into the sea and drown us all. | 1.1639 | 0.06264 | 61 | 54 | 4 | 3 |
2597 | And just like that: the covid stank is a lavender waft. | 1.1639 | 0.05321 | 61 | 52 | 8 | 1 |
2598 | I just disappeared the pilot! | 1.1639 | 0.04779 | 61 | 51 | 10 | 0 |
2599 | It’s in the company’s best interest to pretend that we lost your luggage intentionally. | 1.1639 | 0.05321 | 61 | 52 | 8 | 1 |
2600 | Abracadabra! Soon either chicken or beef dinner will appear, and if you preordered vegetarian, it will be that. | 1.1639 | 0.05321 | 61 | 52 | 8 | 1 |
2601 | How does the plane stay in the air? By magic! | 1.1639 | 0.04779 | 61 | 51 | 10 | 0 |
2602 | And if someone would just sign up for a credit card, I can stop doing this. | 1.1636 | 0.05664 | 55 | 47 | 7 | 1 |
2603 | Were flying over Bermuda, but don't worry- I will be the only one making things disappear | 1.1636 | 0.05034 | 55 | 46 | 9 | 0 |
2604 | No, first class passengers are NOT required to watch my magic show. Why do you ask? | 1.1636 | 0.06230 | 55 | 48 | 5 | 2 |
2605 | ….and when I say, ‘Open Sesame,’ I predict you’ll feel a sudden rush of air. | 1.1636 | 0.06230 | 55 | 48 | 5 | 2 |
2606 | For my next trick, I'll make this plane... disappear! | 1.1636 | 0.05664 | 55 | 47 | 7 | 1 |
2607 | Now watch as I make your elbow room disappear | 1.1636 | 0.05034 | 55 | 46 | 9 | 0 |
2608 | Abracadabra! Now you see 800 passengers in a plane designed for 300! | 1.1636 | 0.05034 | 55 | 46 | 9 | 0 |
2609 | A Board K Bla Bla, your safety talk has disappeared | 1.1636 | 0.05664 | 55 | 47 | 7 | 1 |
2610 | Ta-da! And STILL no leg room. | 1.1636 | 0.06749 | 55 | 49 | 3 | 3 |
2611 | Thank you for flying with us and have a wanderful day. | 1.1636 | 0.05664 | 55 | 47 | 7 | 1 |
2612 | Where we're going, we don't need roads. | 1.1622 | 0.04724 | 74 | 63 | 10 | 1 |
2613 | ...and now, for those of you attending a wedding later today, I will make your luggage disappear | 1.1622 | 0.05101 | 74 | 64 | 8 | 2 |
2614 | Now that I have your undivided attention, let me practice my set for the Catskills. | 1.1622 | 0.04724 | 74 | 63 | 10 | 1 |
2615 | In first class we offer distraction from an imminent crash! | 1.1622 | 0.05101 | 74 | 64 | 8 | 2 |
2616 | Voila! No more emotional support bunny in first class. | 1.1622 | 0.05101 | 74 | 64 | 8 | 2 |
2617 | Yes, I'm a real magician, and don't call me "Shirley." | 1.1622 | 0.05101 | 74 | 64 | 8 | 2 |
2618 | And now I will conclusively prove that 95% of people put oversized bags into the overhead bins. | 1.1618 | 0.04499 | 68 | 57 | 11 | 0 |
2619 | I found this stuff in First Class! | 1.1618 | 0.04963 | 68 | 58 | 9 | 1 |
2620 | Do not worry, the co-pilot has everything under control | 1.1618 | 0.05387 | 68 | 59 | 7 | 2 |
2621 | We’ll arrive on time and the gate will be open. | 1.1618 | 0.04499 | 68 | 57 | 11 | 0 |
2622 | We pride ourselves on making your luggage disappear! | 1.1618 | 0.04963 | 68 | 58 | 9 | 1 |
2623 | And finally in case of a real emerge wpI will makr myself disappear | 1.1618 | 0.05387 | 68 | 59 | 7 | 2 |
2624 | The airline charges a fee if you want me to make your luggage reappear. | 1.1618 | 0.05387 | 68 | 59 | 7 | 2 |
2625 | I can even make your luggage disappear from 30,000 feet | 1.1618 | 0.04963 | 68 | 58 | 9 | 1 |
2626 | In preparation for landing, I will be coming through the cabin to hex anybody whose seatback is not in the upright position. | 1.1618 | 0.05387 | 68 | 59 | 7 | 2 |
2627 | Now you see this exit, now you don’t | 1.1618 | 0.04963 | 68 | 58 | 9 | 1 |
2628 | And presto, we’ve made even more legroom disappear! | 1.1618 | 0.05780 | 68 | 60 | 5 | 3 |
2629 | Fasten your seatbelts little boy, we are now on the way to Fantasy Island! | 1.1618 | 0.04963 | 68 | 58 | 9 | 1 |
2630 | And after these magic words and a flick of my wand.. your wallets will open! | 1.1618 | 0.05780 | 68 | 60 | 5 | 3 |
2631 | The airline doesn’t have GPS, but not to worry. | 1.1618 | 0.04499 | 68 | 57 | 11 | 0 |
2632 | And now for the trick of the disappearing leg room! | 1.1618 | 0.05387 | 68 | 59 | 7 | 2 |
2633 | Who said our flight to Reno couldn’t be fun, huh? | 1.1618 | 0.05387 | 68 | 59 | 7 | 2 |
2634 | Who says we don’t appreciate our economy class members? | 1.1618 | 0.04963 | 68 | 58 | 9 | 1 |
2635 | In the event of a cabin emergency, I will disappear! | 1.1613 | 0.05241 | 62 | 53 | 8 | 1 |
2636 | Puff. It’s okay for everyone to fart. | 1.1613 | 0.05241 | 62 | 53 | 8 | 1 |
2637 | And, for my next trick, I’m going to make this thing FLY! | 1.1613 | 0.05241 | 62 | 53 | 8 | 1 |
2638 | And for my next trick, with the help of the baby in 13A, I'll be making your patience disappear! | 1.1613 | 0.05241 | 62 | 53 | 8 | 1 |
2639 | It takes a magician to close these things. | 1.1613 | 0.05241 | 62 | 53 | 8 | 1 |
2640 | Malvo the Supreme? No, I'm Tarmac, the No One's Enjoying This Delay Either So Quit Your Bitching. | 1.1613 | 0.05241 | 62 | 53 | 8 | 1 |
2641 | And POOF! Your leg space has disappeared! | 1.1613 | 0.05241 | 62 | 53 | 8 | 1 |
2642 | Comedy went out with leg room...... | 1.1613 | 0.04709 | 62 | 52 | 10 | 0 |
2643 | Voilà, all locals will be courteous during your stay in Paris. | 1.1613 | 0.04709 | 62 | 52 | 10 | 0 |
2644 | No, your suitcases haven't disappeared. | 1.1613 | 0.04709 | 62 | 52 | 10 | 0 |
2645 | And for my next trick, your luggage will magically disappear! | 1.1613 | 0.04709 | 62 | 52 | 10 | 0 |
2646 | And now I will make your suitcases reappear in Minneapolis. | 1.1613 | 0.06168 | 62 | 55 | 4 | 3 |
2647 | For my next trick, I'll make your chatty seat-mate disappear | 1.1613 | 0.05241 | 62 | 53 | 8 | 1 |
2648 | If we magically arrive on time, I accept tens and twenties. | 1.1613 | 0.04709 | 62 | 52 | 10 | 0 |
2649 | And, voila, the free meal is gone but your bags miraculously show up at the terminal. | 1.1613 | 0.04709 | 62 | 52 | 10 | 0 |
2650 | In financial news, No Frills Airline raises cash by introducing a new charge for passengers who wish to forgo its otherwise compulsory onboard entertainment. | 1.1613 | 0.04709 | 62 | 52 | 10 | 0 |
2651 | For my next trick, I'll saw someone's leg run in half. | 1.1609 | 0.05137 | 87 | 77 | 6 | 4 |
2652 | Presto three-day-old instant coffee! | 1.1607 | 0.05569 | 56 | 48 | 7 | 1 |
2653 | And for my next trick, I will actually create a REAL meal. | 1.1607 | 0.05569 | 56 | 48 | 7 | 1 |
2654 | The floatation vests never really worked, so the airline has turned to a sure thing in case of emergency. | 1.1607 | 0.04952 | 56 | 47 | 9 | 0 |
2655 | And for my next trick I will be landing this plane in the Hudson River. | 1.1607 | 0.05569 | 56 | 48 | 7 | 1 |
2656 | One of the benefits of unionizing is a free subscription to MasterClass. | 1.1607 | 0.05569 | 56 | 48 | 7 | 1 |
2657 | I'm here to tell you your luggage is somewhere else because of my "magic act." | 1.1607 | 0.05569 | 56 | 48 | 7 | 1 |
2658 | Sign up for our rewards credit card or I'll turn you all into frogs | 1.1607 | 0.05569 |