Contest #823


Cartoon

823

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Think of a delay between one and ten hours.”
  2. “We’ve overbooked, so I am going to make six of you disappear.”
  3. “Will you be having the rabbit or the dove?”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2022-10-16T19:28:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2022-10-30T19:29:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2022-10-24T19:29:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued October 31, 2022
Number of captions 4244
Number of responses 397422
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Be grateful you're not in business class. They have a mime. 1.7857 0.02681 854 373 291 190
1 And for my next trick I will turn a twenty dollar bill into a bag of seven almonds. 1.7260 0.01852 1927 973 509 445
2 I'm going to need to turn somebody into a pilot. 1.7255 0.01611 2477 1229 699 549
3 I call this next trick '"Overbooked Flight", and I will need three volunteers from the audience. 1.7208 0.02038 1551 776 432 343
4 Watch me pull out some hidden fees from thin air. 1.7096 0.02269 1181 580 364 237
5 You heard me right ladies and gentlemen; we're arriving early and your luggage is on this plane! 1.6796 0.01974 1498 754 470 274
6 And now I'll need a volunteer for my vanishing act. This flight is overbooked. 1.6617 0.02475 931 476 294 161
7 I’m here to fit the carry on bags into the overhead bins. 1.6586 0.02527 864 436 287 141
8 A few more hours in that seat and you'll be begging me to saw you in half. 1.6583 0.02484 919 471 291 157
9 Pick an airport, any airport. 1.6458 0.02170 1183 613 376 194
10 I’ll grant any wish that does not involve seat size or legroom. 1.6418 0.02432 910 466 304 140
11 Can I get a volunteer...maybe someone who's landed a plane? 1.6301 0.02386 1076 602 270 204
12 And Poof! Your connecting flight is gone! 1.6247 0.02606 818 438 249 131
13 We've overbooked, so I am going to make six of you disappear. 1.6231 0.02288 1064 572 321 171
14 For my next trick I'll have you arrive on time with your luggage. 1.6143 0.02708 726 387 232 107
15 Nothing up my sleeve, it was confiscated at security. 1.6133 0.02470 900 488 272 140
16 I love this gig. Nobody can walk out! 1.6025 0.02900 644 353 194 97
17 Chicken or rabbit? 1.6004 0.02319 1001 549 303 149
18 Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has now turned on the ‘applause’ sign. 1.5932 0.02402 944 527 274 143
19 And when I snap my fingers, a lucky one among you will actually make his connecting flight! 1.5906 0.02459 828 446 275 107
20 A second bag of peanuts? You realize I'm not an actual magician, right? 1.5849 0.02450 901 508 259 134
21 … and when you wake up you will have remembered a perfect flight, a great flight crew, with excellent food and a great landing. 1.5845 0.02467 893 505 254 134
22 Everyone click your heels and say, "There's no place like Newark." 1.5842 0.02554 861 495 229 137
23 My career doesn’t seem to be taking off, either. 1.5809 0.02584 871 512 212 147
24 Now sit back, relax and enjoy the delay 1.5774 0.02895 627 353 186 88
25 Remember the fun, excitement, and glamour of plane travel? Watch it disappear! 1.5767 0.02492 834 467 253 114
26 Watch carefully, as some of our safety options may have changed. 1.5767 0.02667 737 415 219 103
27 For my next trick, we'll be landing on time. 1.5758 0.02696 818 490 185 143
28 I'm in charge of recovering lost luggage. 1.5709 0.02895 776 490 129 157
29 I will now saw a woman in half and she still won't have legroom. 1.5698 0.02980 695 428 138 129
30 It’s either me for a whole hour or she kicks your seat for the whole trip. 1.5695 0.03008 583 333 168 82
31 "One last magic trick before I head back to the cockpit!" 1.5682 0.02654 748 428 215 105
32 Thank you for levitating with us today. 1.5674 0.02677 742 427 209 106
33 Yes, I am technically your pilot, but magic is my true passion. 1.5658 0.02844 691 408 175 108
34 Watch me pull a full-sized suitcase from this overhead bin! 1.5649 0.02656 717 405 219 93
35 When I wave this, you'll remember our on-time departure, and a smooth takeoff followed by a delicious meal. 1.5590 0.02786 669 386 192 91
36 We actually don't need magic to make your bags disappear. 1.5585 0.03847 376 224 94 58
37 And now for my next trick, I will silence all the children in the cabin! 1.5584 0.02675 668 372 219 77
38 You’re in economy. First class gets the movie. 1.5571 0.02751 657 373 202 82
39 Our meal options today are chicken, fish, and - if I can pull this off - rabbit. 1.5547 0.02926 640 381 163 96
40 And now I will make your oversized bag disappear, only to magically reappear in Phoenix with a $35 charge on your card. 1.5499 0.02795 611 345 196 70
41 Ta da! You are now in first class. 1.5498 0.02883 613 356 177 80
42 Now close your eyes and repeat three times: The landing gear is down. The landing gear is down. The landing gear is down. 1.5401 0.02961 561 326 167 68
43 And “poof” there goes your connecting flight. 1.5346 0.03214 535 330 124 81
44 Now watch as I disable your call buttons for the remainder of the flight. 1.5308 0.03180 503 301 137 65
45 You're following my magic wand. Your eyes are growing heavy. You're forgetting about the twenty-six hour delay. 1.5305 0.03253 475 283 132 60
46 I made your leg room disappear! 1.5281 0.03062 498 289 155 54
47 Just be glad you're not in coach- they have a mime. 1.5274 0.03267 493 301 124 68
48 If you believe, and have a credit card, anything is possible! 1.5251 0.03157 478 281 143 54
49 More leg room? Sorry, I do tricks, not miracles. 1.5243 0.03399 473 295 108 70
50 For my next trick, we will depart on time. 1.5228 0.03371 461 283 115 63
51 And now I will magically turn our one hour delay into a four hour delay. 1.5217 0.03248 460 274 132 54
52 We didn’t lose your luggage, it disappeared. 1.5215 0.05213 209 133 43 33
53 Think of a delay between one and ten hours. 1.5140 0.03413 428 261 114 53
54 …for my next trick, I will need a large body of water and a seat cushion. 1.5140 0.03316 428 255 126 47
55 Behold, Tarmac the Magnificent. 1.5129 0.03543 425 267 98 60
56 And now, when I open the overhead door, there will be space! 1.5107 0.03317 419 249 126 44
57 It was the only way to get my rabbit through security. 1.5086 0.03436 405 245 114 46
58 You shouldn’t complain, economy class has a mime. 1.5085 0.03638 413 264 88 61
59 We have a new solution to overbooking. 1.5073 0.03560 410 257 98 55
60 There's nothing up my sleeve, or in my pockets or shoes. 1.5071 0.03807 422 284 62 76
61 How else do you think we get this lump of metal in the air ... physics? 1.5014 0.03754 365 230 87 48
62 Alakazam! And the obnoxious gentleman in 26-B has lost the use of his vocal cords. 1.5000 0.03551 382 235 103 44
63 Despite Bruce’s efforts, his act wasn’t as popular as the drink cart. 1.4974 0.03484 392 241 107 44
64 The real trick is if we take off on time. 1.4973 0.03651 368 229 95 44
65 That noisy, drunk guy back in coach is now a toad. You’re welcome. 1.4959 0.03833 365 236 77 52
66 For my next trick...levitation. 1.4934 0.03721 377 242 84 51
67 For my next trick, you'll magically believe you have more leg room 1.4930 0.03459 359 214 113 32
68 Remember that crying baby in seat 10b? 1.4910 0.03666 387 249 86 52
69 And now…..a show of hands please. Who would like me to make the pilots reappear? 1.4899 0.04144 296 189 69 38
70 Yes,I am a flying sorcerer 1.4899 0.03918 345 224 73 48
71 You've been a great audience... now back to the cockpit. 1.4898 0.03826 343 218 82 43
72 My live magic show replaces our in-flight movie, cancelled over complaints of its violence and insensitive treatment of women, which we can't condone. For my first trick, I'll be sawing a woman in half." 1.4898 0.03914 343 222 74 47
73 Peanuts? Check your left pocket 1.4891 0.03925 321 203 79 39
74 And should levitation fail, you may use your seat cushion as a floatation device. 1.4881 0.03807 295 177 92 26
75 Pick an arrival time, any arrival time. 1.4875 0.03533 361 221 104 36
76 Now that your meals have vanished, I will now shrink the legroom. 1.4867 0.03745 339 212 89 38
77 I will now move you freely about the cabin. 1.4866 0.03754 335 209 89 37
78 If cabin pressure changes, a rabbit will drop from the panel above you. 1.4821 0.03600 336 205 100 31
79 I will now pull an emotional support animal out of my hat. 1.4817 0.03933 328 212 74 42
80 Voila! This flight is going to leave on time. 1.4752 0.03763 303 186 90 27
81 Next, we'll make your luggage disappear. 1.4727 0.04029 330 221 62 47
82 I will now make the kid kicking your seat behind you vanish!" 1.4724 0.03728 326 205 88 33
83 Think of a crash sight between here and Denver. 1.4715 0.04378 316 223 37 56
84 And for my next trick, I'm going to make all of the passengers on this flight thoughtful and polite. 1.4712 0.04039 295 190 71 34
85 I wasn’t able to give you more leg room , so I shortened your legs - you are welcome 1.4710 0.04052 310 204 66 40
86 In case of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, a rabbit will fall out over your heads. 1.4700 0.03961 300 192 75 33
87 And what snack that we don't have do you wish for? 1.4700 0.03818 300 187 85 28
88 In the event of an emergency, we ask that you all clap your hands and say "We believe." 1.4692 0.03892 292 183 81 28
89 Think of a gate number between 1 and 10. 1.4686 0.03904 303 193 78 32
90 First class got David Copperfield. 1.4683 0.04302 284 190 55 39
91 Free upgrade to first class? I’m a magician not a miracle worker 1.4678 0.03923 295 187 78 30
92 On the count of three, you will awaken feeling refreshed …as if you’ve just eaten a small bag of peanuts and been served a complimentary beverage. 1.4656 0.05171 189 125 40 24
93 Beef, chicken or rabbit? 1.4650 0.04011 314 208 66 40
94 We can make your luggage, your connecting flight and your peace of mind all magically disappear. 1.4624 0.04239 279 185 59 35
95 My favorite trick is making you believe we're actually going to get there. 1.4599 0.04655 274 195 32 47
96 Hey...if I was good at magic we'd be there already. 1.4588 0.04962 194 127 45 22
97 Actually, I'm your captain. 1.4583 0.03989 288 186 72 30
98 We didn’t lose your luggage, we made it disappear. 1.4582 0.04187 299 203 55 41
99 And for my next trick I’ll make flying coach enjoyable. 1.4568 0.04061 278 180 69 29
100 Presto. I changed your seat cushions into flotation devices. 1.4564 0.04177 287 192 59 36
101 Who wants me to make the pilot reappear? 1.4558 0.04131 283 187 63 33
102 How did you think planes stay aloft? 1.4554 0.04118 303 205 58 40
103 I will now use this to restart Engine 2! 1.4531 0.04348 256 170 56 30
104 Now watch your legroom...disappear! 1.4528 0.04229 254 165 63 26
105 For my next trick, we'll depart LaGuardia on time. 1.4525 0.04262 263 174 59 30
106 And for my ultimate magic trick, we shall arrive on time. 1.4521 0.03981 303 201 67 35
107 Expecto Delaynum! 1.4506 0.04203 253 164 64 25
108 Like magic, three seats fit in a space for two. 1.4500 0.04638 240 164 44 32
109 The captain will reappear any second now. 1.4498 0.04352 269 183 51 35
110 Now, for my most amazing trick I will make you feel comfortable in an airplane seat! 1.4472 0.04249 246 160 62 24
111 Please look closely at the wand as I magically draw your attention away from the fine meal and beverage service in first class. 1.4461 0.04351 269 184 50 35
112 I've just made six tiny bottles of vodka disappear. 1.4449 0.04298 254 169 57 28
113 Greetings, fellow flyers. I'm your unrealistic expectations. 1.4440 0.03944 259 164 75 20
114 You can now tell everyone that you've seen a flying sorcerer! 1.4440 0.04545 241 164 47 30
115 Abracadabra! Your luggage is in Cleveland 1.4432 0.04177 264 175 61 28
116 For my next trick I will give you all reclining seats with leg room and a pillow . 1.4430 0.04616 228 154 47 27
117 And now, for only $9 (cash only), I can make a Bacardi miniature appear. 1.4402 0.04232 234 151 63 20
118 The wand, located next to each airsick bag, is for wishful thinking. 1.4395 0.04297 248 165 57 26
119 Just $100. and a swish of my wand and I can give you more leg room! 1.4394 0.04035 264 172 68 24
120 Anybody care for more legroom ? 1.4392 0.04023 255 164 70 21
121 Presto! I have made your legroom disappear. 1.4389 0.04198 262 175 59 28
122 For my next trick I will restart the engines! 1.4378 0.04659 233 161 42 30
123 Welcome aboard! I'm your airy godmother! 1.4367 0.04334 245 164 55 26
124 If you upgraded to first class you would have seen Blue Man Group. 1.4360 0.04155 250 164 63 23
125 For my next trick, I will send all your luggage to Boise. 1.4350 0.04235 223 143 63 17
126 What? You think the oxygen mask just appears out of thin air? 1.4348 0.04053 230 145 70 15
127 For my next trick your luggage will disappear. 1.4329 0.04310 231 152 58 21
128 I will now conjure mental images of salt pretzels for our valued Economy passengers! 1.4312 0.04631 218 148 46 24
129 Shazzzam! We're on time! 1.4312 0.04445 218 144 54 20
130 If someone lost their support animal rabbit, I think I found it. 1.4304 0.04322 230 152 57 21
131 With a flick I can tell you where your luggage will end up. 1.4292 0.04583 212 142 49 21
132 For my next trick, I will make your luggage disappear. 1.4269 0.04035 260 172 65 23
133 If this trick works, your luggage will arrive in LA at the same time you do. 1.4262 0.04311 237 159 55 23
134 Hello and good morning! I am your inflight entertainment for the next 12 hours. 1.4252 0.04351 214 140 57 17
135 Last wishes? 1.4245 0.04770 212 147 40 25
136 Finally, a captive audience 1.4244 0.04171 238 157 61 20
137 And now I’m going to make your leg-room disappear.” 1.4242 0.04760 198 134 44 20
138 You will now behave like human beings.... 1.4231 0.04541 208 139 50 19
139 You'll note our captain is now in the overhead compartment. 1.4229 0.05014 201 142 33 26
140 Can we arrive on time? I'm a magician, not a miracle worker! 1.4227 0.04549 220 150 47 23
141 And for my final trick---the disappearing luggage. 1.4227 0.04728 220 154 39 27
142 You now believe you're first class flyers. 1.4222 0.04339 225 150 55 20
143 For my next trick, I will send everyone's overhead luggage to baggage claim 1.4220 0.04293 218 143 58 17
144 Now, I need a volunteer! Someone who can land a plane! 1.4211 0.04819 209 146 38 25
145 If he can make free snacks appear I’ll be impressed 1.4198 0.04387 243 168 48 27
146 Presto! Your leg room seems comfortable. 1.4196 0.04163 224 146 62 16
147 And abracadabra, your luggage is in a different city. 1.4195 0.04483 236 164 45 27
148 And for my next trick, I need a volunteer who knows how to fly a plane..” 1.4190 0.04557 210 142 48 20
149 Due to rising gas prices,we will be using magic to fly this plane! 1.4187 0.04773 203 140 41 22
150 Magicians? Of course we are. How do you think these planes keep flying? 1.4187 0.04510 203 135 51 17
151 I'm your Flight Delay Entertainment, and haven't had a day off in twelve years! 1.4181 0.04329 232 157 53 22
152 Watch, as I make your luggage - disappear! 1.4178 0.04748 213 149 39 25
153 Abracadabra. We're flying! 1.4171 0.04403 199 130 55 14
154 I can't get it open either. 1.4167 0.04272 204 132 59 13
155 I can pull a rabbit out of my hat, but not your lost luggage. 1.4162 0.05035 197 140 32 25
156 Now you see the drink cart, now you don’t! 1.4158 0.04468 202 134 52 16
157 ...and presto! No more legroom! 1.4152 0.04393 224 152 51 21
158 I know many of you wonder what really keeps the plane up in the air... 1.4145 0.04671 193 130 46 17
159 I call this next one "Vanishing Legroom". 1.4143 0.04602 210 144 45 21
160 On 3 everyone: ‘I can fly!’ 1.4133 0.04598 225 158 41 26
161 For my next trick, I will turn 5 peanuts into a sufficient snack for an adult-sized human. 1.4133 0.04562 196 131 49 16
162 For my next trick, I will make your seats comfortable. 1.4128 0.04478 218 149 48 21
163 After the magic show I must return to the cockpit and relieve the clown. 1.4115 0.04714 209 146 40 23
164 And now, due to budgetary constraints, I’ll make your free carry-on privileges disappear! 1.4115 0.04446 192 126 53 13
165 And now I’m going to make your luggage disappear!! 1.4112 0.04585 214 148 44 22
166 Abra-cadabra! Everyone in coach will now believe that they’re comfortable! 1.4112 0.04537 214 147 46 21
167 I hope he's not the pilot 1.4112 0.04537 214 147 46 21
168 And when we land, I'm going to change you all from sardines back to humans! 1.4105 0.04719 190 129 44 17
169 Watch closely now as I make all the comforts of commercial flight magically disappear! 1.4104 0.04518 212 145 47 20
170 Bear with me folks. . . one last attempt to make the beverage cart appear before final descent. 1.4095 0.04447 210 142 50 18
171 Everything appears out of thin air at this altitude, folks. 1.4086 0.04604 186 124 48 14
172 And that’s how we rid our planes of Covid, ladies and gentleman! 1.4082 0.04556 196 132 48 16
173 Pick a destination, any destination. 1.4080 0.04531 201 136 48 17
174 Hocus Pocus and Abracadabra. We’re headed to Paris but your bag’s still in Tampa. 1.4076 0.05125 184 131 31 22
175 And for my next trick, I will make this aircraft levitate. 1.4076 0.04629 211 147 42 22
176 Three wishes, but I can’t fix leg room. 1.4064 0.04947 187 131 36 20
177 In case of an emergency, each of you has one of these. 1.4062 0.04907 192 135 36 21
178 Will you be having the rabbit or the dove? 1.4061 0.04706 197 136 42 19
179 Welcome to Tesla Airlines, I am your Captain…. 1.4059 0.04881 202 144 34 24
180 And now for my next trick, I will bring around actually editable gourmet meals for everyone. 1.4054 0.04744 185 126 43 16
181 For my next trick Governor DeSantis survives our trip to Martha's Vineyard 1.4053 0.04714 190 130 43 17
182 I'm not only a pilot, I'm also an amateur magician. Watch as I land the plane from here. 1.4050 0.04489 200 135 49 16
183 See me turn a seat cushion into a flotation device! 1.4047 0.04418 215 147 49 19
184 I’ll be your anger management specialist for today’s flight. 1.4043 0.04503 188 125 50 13
185 Who else wants to see their money disappear? 1.4041 0.04718 193 133 42 18
186 Now, I want you to close your eyes and imagine you are flying first class. 1.4040 0.04520 198 134 48 16
187 Presto! Less baggage space and more fees! 1.4040 0.04463 198 133 50 15
188 Business class gets a fire eater and sword swallower. 1.4038 0.04396 213 145 50 18
189 And PRESTO! —You’re watch is now three hours ahead of time! 1.4028 0.04526 211 146 45 20
190 When I wave this wand, it will feel like someone is kicking the back of your seat. 1.4021 0.04787 189 131 40 18
191 And while his act was marvelous, the only trick the crowd waited for was for the pilot to return to his seat. 1.4021 0.04974 194 139 32 23
192 The Magic School Bus wasn't hiring. 1.4020 0.04478 204 139 48 17
193 You are sitting in a comfortable lounge chair on a warm beach, and will remember nothing of the next four hours. 1.4011 0.04981 182 128 35 19
194 And for my next trick I'll make all your luggage disappear 1.4010 0.05120 192 140 27 25
195 For my next trick I'll get this kid to stop kicking your seat. 1.4010 0.04674 192 132 43 17
196 I'm looking for a few brave volunteers... the flight is overbooked. 1.4010 0.04589 197 135 45 17
197 And yes sir, 'leg-room' is also an illusion. 1.4000 0.04863 175 120 40 15
198 For my next trick, I need a volunteer to fly the plane. 1.4000 0.04465 190 127 50 13
199 The pilot would like to know if you believe in magic. 1.3991 0.04483 223 157 43 23
200 ...and viola!.....no leg room 1.3990 0.04895 198 142 33 23
201 And now, we will create six more inches of leg space, if everyone just believes... 1.3988 0.04969 173 120 37 16
202 Would you like it to taste like fish or chicken? 1.3980 0.04429 196 132 50 14
203 And now to chop your legroom in half. 1.3979 0.04747 191 133 40 18
204 For my next trick, I'll make your connecting flight disappear 1.3979 0.04629 191 131 44 16
205 An inflight meal? I do magic tricks, not miracles. 1.3978 0.04898 186 131 36 19
206 ...and nothing in my right hand. No in-flight meal, no beverage, no little bag of nuts. Nothing. 1.3969 0.04969 194 140 31 23
207 If the airline hadn't lost my rabbit, you'd really love this next trick. 1.3967 0.04936 184 130 35 19
208 And now for my most requested trick, I will make a crying baby vanish! 1.3966 0.05037 179 127 33 19
209 Voila! In-flight service has disappeared. 1.3966 0.04846 179 124 39 16
210 Misbehave and the magic wand becomes a taser. 1.3966 0.04781 179 123 41 15
211 Watch closely as I make your leg room. . . disappear! 1.3966 0.04525 174 115 49 10
212 For those of you in economy, this is just a stick. 1.3966 0.05334 174 127 25 22
213 For my next trick, everyone makes their connecting flight! 1.3959 0.04858 197 141 34 22
214 You have to believe the oxygen is going to flow. 1.3957 0.04696 187 129 42 16
215 Abracadabra... we will arrive on time! 1.3957 0.04696 187 129 42 16
216 And now for my next trick: an on-time departure! 1.3953 0.05120 172 122 32 18
217 My best one is when I make your luggage disappear and reappear a week later at your home. 1.3953 0.04777 172 117 42 13
218 For your safety, there is a magic wand stored under your seat. In the event of an emergency, please locate the magic wand and recite the spell you will find in the safety leaflet stored in the seat pocket in front of you. 1.3950 0.04588 200 139 43 18
219 There's magic in the air. We're on time! 1.3946 0.04410 185 123 51 11
220 Welcome! I'm here to distract you from the discomfort of flying with us today. 1.3936 0.04426 188 126 50 12
221 Ladies and Gentlemen, if you are travelling with small children today, I can turn them into rabbits 1.3936 0.04490 188 127 48 13
222 For my next trick: Leg room! 1.3934 0.04574 183 124 46 13
223 For my first trick, we’ll take off on time 1.3929 0.05068 168 118 34 16
224 And for my next trick I will make you believe you have unlimted legroom. 1.3927 0.04740 191 134 39 18
225 When I say the magic word, this plane will be delayed for no apparent reason. 1.3927 0.04682 191 133 41 17
226 And for my next trick, I'll make the in-flight movie appear Oscar-worthy." 1.3920 0.04546 199 138 44 17
227 Look at me! Not at the flaming engine! 1.3916 0.05182 166 118 31 17
228 Don't worry! When we all say restorowingus" the left wing will magically GROW back. Ready... 1.3915 0.04716 189 132 40 17
229 For my next trick I'll make time fly. Just kidding. 1.3911 0.04840 179 125 38 16
230 You can clap after the landing 1.3908 0.04662 174 118 44 12
231 When I say the secret word, “dummies”, you will wake up refreshed, your knees won’t feel crammed in, your butts will be numb, and you won’t want any beverages or snacks. 1.3905 0.04830 169 116 40 13
232 Your connecting flight is on time! 1.3892 0.04942 167 116 37 14
233 And for my next trick, you will arrive in Baltimore, and your luggage will arrive in New York. 1.3889 0.04818 180 126 38 16
234 One last trick and then I’d better get back to the cockpit. 1.3889 0.04818 180 126 38 16
235 And now, with a little help from my lovely stewardess, we're going to saw your legroom in half. 1.3871 0.04765 186 131 38 17
236 And just like that, your flight is canceled! 1.3867 0.04666 181 125 42 14
237 Sit for a spell. 1.3862 0.04336 189 127 51 11
238 For my next trick…more legroom! 1.3859 0.04611 184 127 43 14
239 Presto! Your baggage has disappeared but will magically reappear when and where you least expect it! 1.3858 0.04683 197 140 38 19
240 This is your in-flight entertainment 1.3854 0.04537 192 133 44 15
241 For my next act, I will convince you that a 90 ton box will rise 6 miles above sea level, travel 1000 miles, remain perfectly pressurized at 75 degrees, land with the tiniest bump, and has no environmental impact. 1.3854 0.04655 192 135 40 17
242 I call this next one, 'Auto Pilot.' 1.3851 0.04831 161 110 40 11
243 And just like that, your extra leg room is gone. 1.3846 0.04766 156 105 42 9
244 And, voilà! Your seat will now recline about an inch. 1.3846 0.04748 169 116 41 12
245 Ever wonder how airplanes fly? 1.3837 0.04832 172 120 38 14
246 And for my next trick, I'm going to make it possible for your bags to fit in the overhead bin. 1.3834 0.04518 193 134 44 15
247 Aaaaand voila! I have just removed the very last frill from air travel!! 1.3833 0.04874 180 128 35 17
248 ...And, as you see, the plane is now floating in the air...' 1.3820 0.05040 178 129 30 19
249 Sorry, the rest of my props were in my luggage. 1.3810 0.04532 168 113 46 9
250 And now, I shall make disappear all the children who have been kicking the backs of seats. 1.3804 0.05090 163 116 32 15
251 Unfortunately, I can’t make that kid sitting behind you disappear. 1.3799 0.04693 179 125 40 14
252 For my next trick, I'll make the barefoot guy in 13C, who just put his feet up on lady in 12D's armrest, disappear via the emergency exit. 1.3793 0.04787 174 122 38 14
253 Yes, disappearing any irritating passenger is apart of your first class service! 1.3793 0.05057 174 126 30 18
254 Watch me make an hour of your life on the tarmac disappear. 1.3793 0.04717 174 121 40 13
255 Now for some flight attendant magic...You may notice my right arm is turned totally backwards 1.3791 0.05408 153 111 26 16
256 As part of a special promotion, available only to passengers on this flight, I'm going to make that kid behind you disappear. 1.3785 0.04992 177 128 31 18
257 Abracadabra, we're on time! 1.3782 0.05010 156 109 35 12
258 Passengers, legroom is simply an illusion. 1.3780 0.05138 164 118 30 16
259 Be prepared! For my next trick, I will levitate the entire audience! 1.3770 0.04992 183 134 29 20
260 …and PRESTO! You’ll think you’re in first class! 1.3766 0.04882 154 106 38 10
261 When I say the magic word, the Captain will awake. 1.3766 0.05053 154 108 34 12
262 And just like that, voila! Your oxygen mask should appear 1.3765 0.04717 162 111 41 10
263 The captain says we need more believers to get this plane off the ground. 1.3763 0.04723 194 140 35 19
264 For a modest fee, I can make your luggage appear at the baggage claim. 1.3758 0.05183 165 120 28 17
265 Watch the wand carefully! When I wave it three times, you will permanently forget that you just spent three hours sitting on the tarmac, for a shifting array of reasons. 1.3757 0.04870 173 123 35 15
266 For my next trick, I will turn the dude in 21D who won't get off his phone into a bag of pretzels. 1.3742 0.05006 163 116 33 14
267 Presto change-o! For an additional fee, of course. 1.3739 0.06109 115 83 21 11
268 And now I'll make the last of your patience disappear. 1.3735 0.05086 166 120 30 16
269 Hey, passengers! Watch me pull an upgrade to business class out of my hat! 1.3733 0.05228 150 107 30 13
270 Due to cost-cutting, your in-flight entertainment will be provided by the flight crew. 1.3729 0.04787 177 126 36 15
271 And for just $200 I can magically put you in first class! 1.3725 0.05398 153 112 25 16
272 Poof. You're in first class and the baby has disappeared. 1.3725 0.05069 153 108 33 12
273 And Presto! Your leg room is gone. 1.3718 0.05162 156 112 30 14
274 No, I can't make a plane disappear, but I'm very good with luggage. 1.3709 0.05284 151 109 28 14
275 …and, in case of emergency, each of you will find a magic carpet under your seat. 1.3701 0.05208 154 111 29 14
276 The magic wand is just for show. There’s actually nothing I can do about the leg room. 1.3690 0.04432 168 114 46 8
277 And for my next trick, I’ll make the child kicking your seat disappear. 1.3687 0.05064 160 115 31 14
278 And, just like that, your carry-on bag fits in the overhead compartment 1.3684 0.05337 152 111 26 15
279 And that's how we land the plane. Magic. 1.3681 0.05284 144 103 29 12
280 ...aaand where has your luggage gone? Why, there it is! In a holdover terminal in Cincinnati! 1.3675 0.04856 166 118 35 13
281 Now watch as I create a new baggage fee. 1.3675 0.04856 166 118 35 13
282 You have entered a world of illusion where we are next in line for takeoff… 1.3672 0.04911 177 129 31 17
283 Everyone was allergic to peanuts and then pretzels and well frankly magic is all we have left to offer. 1.3671 0.04865 158 111 36 11
284 The captain has turned off the no magic sign 1.3667 0.05131 150 107 31 12
285 Abracadabra! Your luggage has disappeared. 1.3663 0.04806 172 123 35 14
286 And our last tomato juice goes to... 1.3662 0.05045 142 99 34 9
287 And now I will make your leg room reappear! 1.3654 0.04820 156 109 37 10
288 Just wait'll you see this baby fly. 1.3653 0.05329 167 126 21 20
289 Abracadabra, you have more leg room! Doesn't that feel better? 1.3642 0.04926 151 106 35 10
290 For my next trick! Turbulence. 1.3631 0.04599 179 127 39 13
291 Even this magic wand will not get you into first class. 1.3623 0.05533 138 101 24 13
292 Under your seat you will find a life vest and the seven of diamonds 1.3623 0.05437 138 100 26 12
293 Sawing the pilot in half might have been a mistake. 1.3617 0.05719 141 106 19 16
294 No reason for panic, folks, but who wants to be turned into a pilot? 1.3613 0.05087 155 112 30 13
295 And for $50 dollars I can turn the child behind you into a martini fountain for the length of the flight. 1.3611 0.05271 144 104 28 12
296 Being a pilot is my day job. 1.3608 0.05097 158 115 29 14
297 I've made three martinis vanish - just like that! 1.3597 0.05499 139 102 24 13
298 And for my next trick, I will remove all your remaining personal space. 1.3590 0.04977 156 112 32 12
299 Sir please, look out your window. Do you see a wing there? 1.3585 0.04828 159 113 35 11
300 For my next trick, I will charge you $10. 1.3581 0.05164 148 107 29 12
301 And, now, I will make extra legroom appear right before your very eyes 1.3577 0.05048 137 96 33 8
302 The captain has turned on the hocus pocus sign.” 1.3576 0.05003 151 108 32 11
303 No, the baggage handler made your suitcase disappear. 1.3571 0.05019 154 111 31 12
304 "Sure, Prest-O, Change-O: filet mignon, legroom galore, and that adorable child no longer kicking your seat." Anything else? 1.3571 0.04646 168 119 38 11
305 Welcome to Spirit Airlines. 1.3566 0.05100 143 102 31 10
306 Do you think we should break it to him that it's actually lift, thrust, drag, and weight that make the plane stay up? 1.3557 0.05309 149 110 25 14
307 And in my right hand, you'll find your leg space. 1.3553 0.05148 152 111 28 13
308 And just like that, we've made your legroom disappear! 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
309 Watch how I make your rights disappear. 1.3540 0.04859 161 116 33 12
310 I will now produce the illusion of leg room. 1.3540 0.04859 161 116 33 12
311 And poof, your luggage is there. 1.3534 0.05463 133 97 25 11
312 Shazam! Your connecting flight is gone! 1.3529 0.05575 136 101 22 13
313 I’ve always preferred a captive audience. 1.3525 0.05292 139 101 27 11
314 To assist the crew during an in-flight emergency, wave the magic wands located beneath your seat. 1.3517 0.05228 145 106 27 12
315 I can't do upgrades. 1.3506 0.04921 154 111 32 11
316 I finally have your attention. 1.3504 0.05138 137 98 30 9
317 Presto delayo, your connections in Dallas have disappeared! 1.3503 0.04770 157 112 35 10
318 For my final trick, I will make your luggage disappear and reappear in Schenectady! 1.3500 0.05260 140 102 27 11
319 Please make sure all seat backs are returned to their upright positions, and all rabbits are returned to their hats. 1.3500 0.05162 140 101 29 10
320 Who knew flying could get any worse 1.3500 0.05546 140 105 21 14
321 Which would you like to see? I can pull a rabbit out of my hat. Or I can make the kid behind you disappear. 1.3487 0.05049 152 111 29 12
322 Watch carefully as I turn this passenger from passive to aggressive! 1.3485 0.05790 132 100 18 14
323 Alacazam, alacazin, your luggage has taken off for Berlin. 1.3481 0.05077 135 96 31 8
324 More legroom? I’m a magician not a miracle worker! 1.3481 0.05394 135 99 25 11
325 In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, close your eyes and tap your heels together three times. 1.3481 0.05291 135 98 27 10
326 Rabbits out of a hat, yes. Luggage arriving at its destination, no. 1.3478 0.04847 161 117 32 12
327 So the captain says, "You're wasting your talent as a mere co-pilot. Share the act with the cabin while I nap. Why have an autopilot if you never use it?" 1.3478 0.05005 161 119 28 14
328 Yes, we eliminated pilots in our budget cuts. This is how we land planes now." 1.3475 0.05325 141 104 25 12
329 For my next trick, I'll make your sense of dignity reappear! 1.3475 0.05131 141 102 29 10
330 And for my next trick, all the babies on board will sleep through the entire flight! 1.3475 0.04826 141 99 35 7
331 And under your seat, for flight emergencies, you will find your Mary Poppins umbrella. 1.3472 0.05515 144 109 20 15
332 You are all hereby "Declassified". 1.3472 0.05151 144 105 28 11
333 After we land you will say that you enjoyed your flight. 1.3462 0.05537 130 96 23 11
334 I thought we already left Vegas! 1.3462 0.05429 130 95 25 10
335 For my next trick, you’ll all have leg room. 1.3459 0.05342 133 97 26 10
336 Watch me make the joy of airline travel completely disappear. 1.3451 0.05386 142 106 23 13
337 No food or drink service on this flight, but you can take your chances with whatever comes out of my hat. 1.3451 0.04901 142 101 33 8
338 For my next trick, I will add 6 more inches to your seat space. 1.3446 0.04569 148 103 39 6
339 Slip me $50 and I'll make the urchin behind you disappear. 1.3446 0.05226 148 110 25 13
340 And now, your economy class entertainment! 1.3442 0.05323 154 117 21 16
341 And now I’ll make your leg space disappear. 1.3442 0.04908 154 112 31 11
342 Don't be alarmed by the pilots in clown suits. We take Halloween very seriously 1.3440 0.05093 125 88 31 6
343 In case of emergency, simply think of a number between 1 and 100. 1.3438 0.05483 128 94 24 10
344 At the count of three you’ll all believe we’ll arrive on time. 1.3435 0.05394 131 96 25 10
345 And your luggage... is GONE. 1.3431 0.05225 137 100 27 10
346 Use this for legroom. 1.3431 0.05225 137 100 27 10
347 For my next trick I will conjure the illusion of legroom. 1.3431 0.05016 137 98 31 8
348 One more, until the Wi-Fi reconnects 1.3429 0.05245 140 103 26 11
349 …and now your luggage is headed to the opposite coast. 1.3425 0.05362 146 110 22 14
350 For my next trick, the flight will experience extreme turbulence as soon as the restroom becomes available. 1.3419 0.05050 155 115 27 13
351 Now watch as I make the man in 10E put his shoes back on 1.3415 0.05636 123 91 22 10
352 And now we're levitating. 1.3413 0.05305 126 91 27 8
353 And for my next trick, I will hypnotize the kid in the second aisle 1.3413 0.05184 126 90 29 7
354 I only know how to make your luggage disappear. 1.3413 0.05060 126 89 31 6
355 And for my next trick, I will send your luggage to Siberia. 1.3413 0.05539 126 93 23 10
356 Okey, can I get a second volunteer? 1.3413 0.05423 126 92 25 9
357 For my first trick, I will magically get this flight out of Newark to land " On Time" 1.3411 0.05103 129 92 30 7
358 All these years I didn’t believe in the Upgrade Fairy. 1.3406 0.04878 138 98 33 7
359 Close your eyes, Seat 32D... when I count to "3" your luggage will magically reappear in Topeka, Kansas on Friday. 1.3404 0.04703 141 99 36 6
360 Pick the time delay--any time delay.... 1.3404 0.04914 141 101 32 8
361 Abracadabra your luggage is in Milwaukee 1.3404 0.05214 141 104 26 11
362 You're getting sleepy and you love five hour delays, sleepy... 1.3404 0.05016 141 102 30 9
363 And now to change that baby doll back into a full grown passenger... 1.3401 0.04969 147 107 30 10
364 In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, you will magically realize why you should have listened to the safety demonstration. 1.3388 0.05190 121 86 29 6
365 Abracadabra, your flight is not cancelled or delayed! 1.3385 0.05186 130 94 28 8
366 For my next trick we will land on time. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
367 Voila. Your 36 inch legs now fit in a 22 inch space. 1.3379 0.05012 145 106 29 10
368 In your checked luggage, you'll find the card you were thinking of. 1.3377 0.05148 154 116 24 14
369 Magic! we will arrive on time 1.3377 0.05065 154 115 26 13
370 Now, does everyone remember what we drew on the engine before it disappeared 1.3362 0.05865 116 87 19 10
371 - No, sky marshal is my part-time job... 1.3361 0.05240 119 85 28 6
372 With the wave of my wand you’ll all think you’re in first class. 1.3361 0.05535 122 90 23 9
373 First, the legroom, and now the snacks are gone! 1.3361 0.06004 122 94 15 13
374 magic in the air 1.3360 0.05673 125 94 20 11
375 And now, will you please place your tray table in the upright and locked position, and look in the seat pocket in front of you and tell me if that’s your card. 1.3359 0.05465 128 95 23 10
376 Did he just say it's going to take real magic to get our luggage back? 1.3359 0.05465 128 95 23 10
377 Abracadabra. The captain shall reappear. Huh. That's not it either. 1.3359 0.05116 128 92 29 7
378 For my final trick I will have the child behind you refrain from kicking your seat for the duration of the flight 1.3358 0.05499 134 101 21 12
379 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain busking. 1.3356 0.04913 149 109 30 10
380 Now, keep your eyes glued to my magic wand, not the starboard engine. 1.3355 0.05108 152 114 25 13
381 And voilà, Your baggage is on this plane . It’s magic! 1.3352 0.04809 176 133 27 16
382 ...and for an additional 11 dollars per person I'll move along to aisle 24. 1.3333 0.05043 135 98 29 8
383 For my next trick, I will disappear for the rest of the flight. 1.3333 0.05120 123 88 29 6
384 For my next trick I'll need a volunteer interested in earning three-thousand unlimited bonus points. 1.3333 0.05694 117 87 21 9
385 For my next trick, I’ll need a volunteer from the audience to bring me their carry-on…. 1.3333 0.05278 138 103 24 11
386 Count your blessings. Flight 402 got the mariachi band. 1.3333 0.05151 135 99 27 9
387 I could pull extra legroom out of my hat, but it’ll cost you. 1.3333 0.05201 129 94 27 8
388 In the unlikely event of an on-time arrival, balloons will drop from the overhead compartments. 1.3333 0.05164 126 91 28 7
389 And now for a little levitation. 1.3333 0.05389 141 107 21 13
390 Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! 1.3333 0.05006 132 95 30 7
391 For my next trick I'll sit down so we can depart on time. 1.3333 0.05248 123 89 27 7
392 For my next trick, this plane will arrive on time. 1.3333 0.05164 126 91 28 7
393 A magic wand? No, silly. But give us any trouble and feel the magic behind my new taser. 1.3333 0.05043 135 98 29 8
394 Watch— as I make your comfort disappear. 1.3333 0.05285 126 92 26 8
395 We should have seen this coming. What kind of airport has a Gate 9 3/4s! 1.3310 0.04996 145 107 28 10
396 I make the plane levitate. 1.3307 0.05483 127 95 22 10
397 And that is how we get the plane to fly. 1.3306 0.05337 124 91 25 8
398 And with this wand, I will make this train fly. 1.3306 0.05337 124 91 25 8
399 Abracadabra! Our flight is not canceled! 1.3306 0.05553 121 90 22 9
400 And for my next trick, I'm going to wave my magic wand and make this 80,000 kg airplane FLY! 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
401 For my next trick, I’ll make your legroom reappear. 1.3287 0.04839 143 104 31 8
402 To start the flow of oxygen, reach up and pull the rabbit toward you, fully extending its ears. 1.3284 0.05273 134 100 24 10
403 I have just magically added one millimeter of knee room to your seat. 1.3284 0.04943 134 97 30 7
404 Be thankful. The entertainment on the next flight is mimes. 1.3284 0.04943 134 97 30 7
405 Welcome aboard Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. For this next trick... 1.3282 0.05358 131 98 23 10
406 Welcome on board! I'm your captain, cabin crew and entertainment on demand... 1.3282 0.05247 131 97 25 9
407 And just like that, 90 tons of metal, carbon fiber, plastic and highly explosive jet fuel is floating six and a half miles above the earth. 1.3281 0.04974 128 92 30 6
408 We want you to enjoy the days you’ll be aboard. 1.3280 0.05051 125 90 29 6
409 I’m a First Class act. 1.3279 0.05263 122 89 26 7
410 And now I'll make the pilots disappear! 1.3279 0.05636 122 92 20 10
411 Remember to pull the rabbit out of your own hat first before assisting others. 1.3279 0.05636 122 92 20 10
412 Ta-Da! Your checked bags have vanished 1.3276 0.05581 116 86 22 8
413 See the rabbit in the overhead compartment. 1.3273 0.05184 110 78 28 4
414 And now I will levitate this whole plane and everyone in it. 1.3262 0.05467 141 109 18 14
415 And for my next trick, I'll narrow your seat even more 1.3261 0.05261 138 104 23 11
416 And we will arrive 20 minutes early! 1.3256 0.05521 129 98 20 11
417 Hello folks, I'm the Amazng Alex, and for your inflight entertainment today, I'm going to transform the first class seats into middle coach seats for your amusement. 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
418 And what’s this behind your ear? Oh! A tiny bag of pretzels! 1.3256 0.05410 129 97 22 10
419 Watch how I magically make your legroom disappear. 1.3252 0.05227 123 90 26 7
420 ... and, it doubles as a taser for unruly passengers! 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
421 And now, I will make the wings reappear. 1.3231 0.05374 130 98 22 10
422 I'm here to provide you with a selection of illusions of safety. 1.3231 0.05030 130 95 28 7
423 For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer to take a later flight. 1.3231 0.05591 130 100 18 12
424 In case there is a loss of cabin pressure, the captain will summon me to perform my magic. 1.3228 0.05109 127 93 27 7
425 Next, I'll show you how reclining your seat will transform into a fist fight and an action-packed video on Twitter. 1.3228 0.05463 127 96 21 10
426 I just turned your seat into a flotation device. 1.3220 0.05230 118 86 26 6
427 And with a swish and a flick, I'll make your checked bags disappear! 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
428 They turned me into the pilot since we're short staffed. 1.3211 0.06235 109 85 13 11
429 I will now read your future. This plane will sit on the tarmac for 45 minutes and you’ll miss your connecting flight. 1.3209 0.05360 134 102 21 11
430 For my next trick, the crying baby in 6A will fall into a peaceful slumber. 1.3206 0.04757 131 94 32 5
431 And now I will make your trip to Chicago disappear. Welcome to Tulsa. 1.3203 0.05195 128 95 25 8
432 Now to make your roller bags reappear... at baggage claim 1.3203 0.05195 128 95 25 8
433 ‘’Watch as free drinks and snacks disappear!” 1.3200 0.05156 125 92 26 7
434 If you liked that trick,just wait till you see what we did with your luggage 1.3197 0.05851 122 95 15 12
435 I can make new fees appear out of nowhere! 1.3197 0.05492 122 92 21 9
436 For my next trick, I'll make leg room disappear. 1.3197 0.05240 122 90 25 7
437 And voila! That child has stopped kicking your seat! 1.3197 0.05368 122 91 23 8
438 For my next trick, I will hypnotize you into believing you have enough leg room. 1.3193 0.05715 119 91 18 10
439 Now I’ll make your leg room magically reappear. 1.3191 0.05065 141 106 25 10
440 And for my next trick, I will fit a bag in the overhead ... first try! 1.3191 0.04861 141 104 29 8
441 I will now get many members of this audience to purchase a terrible can of light beer for over 8 dollars! 1.3191 0.05450 141 110 17 14
442 Now, I know magic isn't everyone's thing, but our flight's been delayed for thirty minutes, and I'm not missing this opportunity of a full house. 1.3191 0.04964 141 105 27 9
443 Ladies and Gentlemen, we are currently 79th in line for takeoff. While we’re waiting….. 1.3190 0.05557 116 87 21 8
444 You are now getting very sleepy, and you'll stay asleep and not bother me until we get to our destination. 1.3188 0.05037 138 103 26 9
445 1st Class gets live Broadway shows, an entire French restaurant, and Botox on demand --- but this is nice, right? 1.3188 0.04723 160 120 29 11
446 And now watch me pull a dollar out of your wallet 1.3186 0.05797 113 86 18 9
447 In case of emergency your oxygen masks will magically appear. 1.3185 0.04893 135 99 29 7
448 Voila! The glamour of air travel is back. 1.3182 0.05469 110 81 23 6
449 I am the Flight Attendant's Apprentice! 1.3179 0.05093 151 116 22 13
450 And now you’ll find that you have no leg room! 1.3178 0.05042 129 95 27 7
451 And now, for just a $28 convenience fee, I can make your carry-on bags reappear! 1.3178 0.05276 129 97 23 9
452 I can magically put you in a zen state so you don’t have to be arrested on arrival. 1.3178 0.05410 107 78 24 5
453 In accordance with airline policy,I will make your legroom disappear. 1.3175 0.05817 126 99 14 13
454 More leg room? No. But I can make your seat tip back two more inches. 1.3171 0.05575 123 94 19 10
455 With just a wave of my wand, your overstuffed carry-on fits in the luggage compartment. 1.3171 0.05454 123 93 21 9
456 And for my next trick, I'll make your leg room disappear. 1.3162 0.05381 117 87 23 7
457 There's a new $20 show cessation fee. 1.3162 0.05903 117 91 15 11
458 Before I perform my next trick, do we have any doctors on board? 1.3162 0.04953 117 84 29 4
459 And for our next trick, on time departure! 1.3158 0.05476 114 85 22 7
460 Now close your eyes and levitate!" 1.3158 0.05048 133 99 26 8
461 And for my next trick, I'll make customer service disappear. 1.3154 0.04888 130 95 29 6
462 More leg-room? Close your eyes, think it, you got it. 1.3154 0.05354 130 99 21 10
463 Upgrade anyone ? 1.3153 0.05274 111 81 25 5
464 For the first time ever, you will depart and arrive on time 1.3150 0.05208 127 95 24 8
465 I'm just the in-flight magician in case someone runs out of tranquilizers or realizes they're in a bad marriage on the way to the Caribbean to renew their vows, not to get too specific. 1.3150 0.05208 127 95 24 8
466 This is the captain speaking… 1.3148 0.05527 108 80 22 6
467 Tada ! The coffee is good now 1.3148 0.05978 108 83 16 9
468 If you are seated in an exit row, please read carefully the special instructions card located behind your ear. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
469 I will now make food appear! 1.3145 0.05535 124 95 19 10
470 Notice that at no time do the wings leave the plane. 1.3143 0.05466 105 77 23 5
471 Budget cuts are having a particularly devastating affect on the inflight entertainment 1.3143 0.04871 140 104 28 8
472 More leg room? Let me saw you in half. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
473 In the event of a water landing, the quarter behind your ear can be used as a flotation device. 1.3136 0.05476 118 89 21 8
474 And now watch me shrink the size of your leg room. 1.3136 0.05064 118 86 27 5
475 Your wish is granted, the child will be stowed in the overhead 1.3130 0.05841 115 89 16 10
476 I can do anything but pull five more inches of leg space out of my hat. 1.3130 0.05147 115 84 26 5
477 Your two hour delay will fly by 1.3130 0.05435 115 86 22 7
478 For my next death-defying trick, I’ll put on someone else’s mask before my own. 1.3130 0.04734 131 95 31 5
479 With my next trick I’ll make the last of the legroom disappear! 1.3130 0.05093 131 98 25 8
480 I'd better get back to the cockpit. My co-pilot is a newbie. 1.3125 0.05629 128 100 16 12
481 And for my final trick, I'll need a volunteer to get bumped from this flight. 1.3120 0.04740 125 90 31 4
482 What shall miraculously appear is a half-can your favorite drink, and a small bag of trail mix. 1.3120 0.04740 125 90 31 4
483 and now I will attempt to fly 1.3119 0.05636 109 82 20 7
484 our in-flight entertainment budget has been cut, so without further ado…… 1.3116 0.05325 138 107 19 12
485 …and your luggage is now gone! 1.3115 0.05085 122 90 26 6
486 For my next trick, I require someone with no fear of heights and non-slip shoes 1.3115 0.05712 122 95 16 11
487 Surprise!!! Your destination has been changed to Mauna Loa 1.3113 0.05586 106 79 21 6
488 Coffee, Tea or Rabbit Stew? 1.3113 0.05080 106 76 27 3
489 Ear pop, anyone?” 1.3113 0.05423 106 78 23 5
490 If we distract passengers in flight, they don't notice we took away two more inches of leg room. 1.3109 0.05167 119 88 25 6
491 While I cannot give you more legroom, I can shorten your legs to make you fit. Any takers? 1.3109 0.05566 119 91 19 9
492 And if you don't put your tray tables up and your seats back in the full upright position, I will make your luggage disappear. 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
493 Why, if a Comedian can be a President, I can be your Pilot! 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
494 And POOF! You get an up charge! You get an up charge! You get an up charge! 1.3107 0.06175 103 80 14 9
495 That's why we're called "Out of Thin Air." 1.3103 0.04961 116 84 28 4
496 With a wave of my wand you will imagine having the best in-flight dining experience! 1.3103 0.05254 116 86 24 6
497 If you say the magic word before leaving JFK, you’ll land at LAX with three more hours in the day. 1.3103 0.05040 145 111 23 11
498 Unknown to reporters, disappearing wasn't the only trick D.B.Cooper performed that day. 1.3103 0.05110 116 85 26 5
499 Watch as I make your faith in the airline industry disappear! 1.3103 0.05532 116 88 20 8
500 For my next trick I will saw someone from coach in half. 1.3103 0.06050 116 92 12 12
501 All together now...A hundred bottles of beer on the wall... 1.3097 0.05491 113 85 21 7
502 I thought airlines got rid of the nuts. 1.3097 0.05633 113 86 19 8
503 And now, I will make your legroom disappear! 1.3091 0.05739 110 84 18 8
504 And just like that, anybody who doesn't follow instructions will be turned into a toad. 1.3091 0.04959 110 79 28 3
505 As you will soon find out, the Bermuda Triangle really is magic. 1.3089 0.05307 123 93 22 8
506 I’m sorry sir, but I cannot make the toddler disappear. 1.3084 0.05999 107 83 15 9
507 In case of an emergency, click your heels three times…. 1.3083 0.05650 120 93 17 10
508 Pick an emergency exit. Any emergency exit. 1.3083 0.05525 120 92 19 9
509 Mechanical issues. No problem! 1.3077 0.05491 117 89 20 8
510 Read the fine print - I'm the penalty for not upgrading 1.3077 0.05753 117 91 16 10
511 And now for my next trick, I will make your onboard meal delicious. 1.3077 0.04613 130 94 32 4
512 …and whoopty — your leg space is gone! 1.3077 0.05552 130 102 16 12
513 Yes it is magic. Your friendly, and helpful flight attendant will serve you a hot, tasty meal with complementary wine or cocktails. The people in first class will have a choice of stale pretzels or stale peanuts. Thank you for flying on Magic Air. 1.3070 0.05449 114 86 21 7
514 Pilot was my second choice 1.3070 0.04846 114 82 29 3
515 Poof! The illusion of legroom! 1.3070 0.05727 114 88 17 9
516 No worries about the pilot shortage. It's a magical mystery flight. 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
517 I will now make the backbones of the parents whose child is kicking the back of your seat magically reappear! 1.3069 0.06092 101 78 15 8
518 Anyone still needs to fit something into the overhead bin? 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
519 And for our last trick today in 'Basic Restricted Economy,' we'll remove whatever's left of your human dignity. 1.3065 0.05513 124 96 18 10
520 Watch me pull a rabbit out of the overhead bin. 1.3063 0.05694 111 85 18 8
521 Our scheduled departure time is just an illusion 1.3063 0.05694 111 85 18 8
522 And my final trick will be to land on time. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
523 If that child in 2E becomes a problem, I will happily make her disappear. 1.3056 0.05803 108 83 17 8
524 Alrighty, let’s see if we can get this baby off the ground. 1.3056 0.05652 108 82 19 7
525 And now let's make a pilot appear 1.3056 0.05172 108 79 25 4
526 During the pilot shortage we are helping 1.3047 0.05029 128 96 25 7
527 And as we land here in Denver, your bags will be in...Barcelona! 1.3043 0.05946 115 91 13 11
528 And for our last trick before take off, we will make all your luggage disappear! 1.3043 0.05119 115 85 25 5
529 Remember to unfasten your seat belts prior to the standing ovation.” 1.3043 0.05408 115 87 21 7
530 And for my next trick, I’m going to delay our departure for another hour 1.3039 0.05877 102 78 17 7
531 We call it the Cinderella Experience. You're family is now in coach. 1.3038 0.07059 79 62 10 7
532 Hi folks, I just wanted to introduce myself, your baggage handler. 1.3037 0.05073 135 103 23 9
533 And now, to distract you from the pilot strike. 1.3036 0.05649 112 86 18 8
534 And when you wake up, you'll be in Milwaukee! 1.3033 0.05320 122 93 21 8
535 Coach gets the mime. 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
536 In the event of cabin pressure loss, oxygen masks will magically appear 1.3028 0.05902 109 85 15 9
537 No, I'm a magician on board. And you're now a pilot. 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
538 I’ve just been sent to make sure everyone is equally annoyed this flight. 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
539 Poof! You won't feel the kid behind you kicking your seat or hear her screaming the whole way there!! 1.3028 0.05607 109 83 19 7
540 Even our magician can't make you believe your seats are bigger, there's going to be food or that we'll be on time. 1.3025 0.05411 119 91 20 8
541 I did it to your free meals and your leg room, so don't make me use this thing on what little dignity you have left! 1.3025 0.05541 119 92 18 9
542 And presto, your extra legroom has disappeared, but it can be restored for an additional fee. 1.3023 0.05459 129 101 17 11
543 Say the magic word - or I'll send your luggage to Boise! 1.3019 0.05390 106 79 22 5
544 'And for my next trick, I will make you all comfortable with plenty of leg room, overhead luggage locker space and arrival at the advertised time.' 1.3017 0.05506 116 89 19 8
545 You can ask me for anything but more legroom. 1.3015 0.05040 136 104 23 9
546 Okay - who’s feeling grumpy today? 1.3010 0.05661 103 78 19 6
547 There is an additional fee of $35 per passenger for me to stop doing magic tricks on this flight. Otherwise, make sure your seat belts are buckled low & tight across your waist, and your tray table is in its upright and locked position and we are ready to depart. 1.3010 0.05827 103 79 17 7
548 I promise you, if the child behind you kicks the seat again, I will make it disappear. 1.3009 0.05463 113 86 20 7
549 I only do levitation tricks. 1.3009 0.05606 113 87 18 8
550 And for my next trick... a three-hour delay! 1.3009 0.05463 113 86 20 7
551 And now, with a wave of my wand, you will have landed, happy and in good spirits. 1.3009 0.05606 113 87 18 8
552 Welcome aboard, ladies and gentlemen. I'm the Pied Piper, and I'll be your flight attendant till the captain finds out. 1.3008 0.05407 123 95 19 9
553 ...and now for my final trick: the biggest levitation act you ever saw! 1.3008 0.05407 123 95 19 9
554 And now for my next trick, I will make the complimentary snacks and beverages for purchase only! 1.3008 0.04889 133 100 26 7
555 When I count to three you will all have six more inches of leg room. 1.3000 0.05500 120 93 18 9
556 For my next trick, I’ll make your checked luggage disappear! 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
557 Pick a landing site; any landing site 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
558 And for my final trick, I'll make your leg room disappear. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
559 And for my next trick...LEGROOM! 1.3000 0.06133 110 88 11 11
560 This magic reduces yiur legroom by 50% without you noticing. 1.3000 0.05104 120 90 24 6
561 Presto chango…your luggage has disappeared! 1.2992 0.04784 127 94 28 5
562 And now,for an absolutely magical landing !!! 1.2991 0.05044 117 87 25 5
563 Want me to make that child behind you go away? 1.2991 0.05328 117 89 21 7
564 And now watch me pull an emotional support animal out of my hat. 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
565 Hello, I'm Kyle and I'm here to make sure all of you have a truly magical flight to Kenosha, Wisconsin. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
566 And for next trick.. turbulence. Tada! 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
567 And in the unlikely event of a water landing, I will part the seas. 1.2984 0.05489 124 97 17 10
568 For my next trick, I will make your baggage disappear upon landing, 1.2982 0.05276 114 86 22 6
569 There you go! Middle seat gone. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
570 Ta Da !!! You two have been upgraded to first class !! 1.2975 0.05202 121 92 22 7
571 ...and for my next trick, I will make three more inches of your leg room disappear! 1.2973 0.05665 111 86 17 8
572 As long as I keep waving this wand, it won't matter that both of the plane's engines have failed. 1.2973 0.05519 111 85 19 7
573 Now for the safety measures the first-class passengers get 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
574 The in-flight meal choices are dove or rabbit. 1.2973 0.05665 111 86 17 8
575 Drizzle drazzle druzzle drone may your luggage find your home. 1.2973 0.05947 111 88 13 10
576 For my next trick, I will make that screaming baby disappear. 1.2970 0.05724 101 77 18 6
577 Presto chango - you now believe you have legroom 1.2969 0.05245 128 99 20 9
578 For my next trick I will cause the captain to begin announcements as soon as you fall asleep. 1.2969 0.05005 128 97 24 7
579 And for my next trick, I’ll fit your carry-on bag into this overhead compartment! 1.2966 0.05150 118 89 23 6
580 And for my next trick, the airline will make your luggage disappear! 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
581 Now watch how I magically make your attention disappear while I go over safety instructions. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
582 Todays inflight service will be rabbit. 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
583 Watch very closely now and you will see the impossible . . . a smooth landing on time followed by all your luggage on a carousel within ten minutes! 1.2959 0.05840 98 75 17 6
584 Poof! A three hour delay. 1.2959 0.06017 98 76 15 7
585 But first, before we bring out the ukulelles. 1.2959 0.06017 98 76 15 7
586 Due to staffing issues, I’ll be serving as both your pilot and inflight entertainment. 1.2957 0.05236 115 87 22 6
587 And for my next trick, I will make your legroom disappear. 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
588 My rabbit was confiscated by the TSA. 1.2952 0.05887 105 82 15 8
589 Say the magic words and I''ll land this plane 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
590 Where's our free ukuleles? 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
591 ... and as you can see, the baby has magically shut up for the first time in the last 4hrs! 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
592 First, I want to apologize for making the pilot and co-pilot disappear. 1.2946 0.05621 112 87 17 8
593 Being on time? Now that would be real magic. 1.2946 0.05900 112 89 13 10
594 My true passion is magic; but don't worry, my co-pilot is very good. 1.2941 0.05642 119 94 15 10
595 We are out of peanuts, will you settle for a rabbit? 1.2941 0.05113 119 90 23 6
596 "I will now make this flight more enjoyable by making myself disappear." 1.2941 0.05322 102 76 22 4
597 I'm not just any fly-by-night magician. 1.2941 0.05675 102 78 18 6
598 I am the captain‘s nephew Jerome! Please feel free to post this on social media! #MagicInTheSkies 1.2941 0.05501 102 77 20 5
599 This flight is canceled, but I have an awesome magic show for you. 1.2941 0.06007 102 80 14 8
600 We added in-flight entertainment. 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
601 I will now levitate you to 30,000 feet above the ground. 1.2936 0.05576 109 84 18 7
602 They send me on every Boeing 737 Max flight, just in case... 1.2929 0.05420 99 74 21 4
603 And for my next trick, I've changed your arrival time from 5pm to 11pm! 1.2929 0.05607 99 75 19 5
604 Unfortunately, my last trick made your checked baggage disappear... 1.2927 0.05128 123 94 22 7
605 And when I snap my fingers, you’ll all behave nicely for the entire flight. 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
606 Items in the overhead bin will not shift,the child behind you will be silent,and all the food will be stunningly delicious. 1.2925 0.05682 106 82 17 7
607 And now, a few tricks to help pass the six hours on the runway! 1.2925 0.05522 106 81 19 6
608 And.... Presto! You don't have a crying baby kicking your seat for 3 hours 1.2925 0.05682 106 82 17 7
609 And now I’ll try to conjure up a good meal. 1.2923 0.04938 130 99 24 7
610 For my next trick, would you like me to pull peanuts or pretzels from my hat? 1.2920 0.05134 113 85 23 5
611 Now watch while I make your legroom disappear. 1.2920 0.05286 113 86 21 6
612 Now for my next trick, I'll place six mini pretzels in a bag and make you think it's a snack! 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
613 Three inches of legroom will now magically disappear. 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
614 Watch as I make your in-flight meal disappear! 1.2917 0.05322 96 71 22 3
615 And for my next trick I will saw all of you in half, due to this flight being overbooked! 🎩 ✈️ 🪄 1.2917 0.05908 96 74 16 6
616 Observe, while I sanitize the cabin air with my magic wand! 1.2913 0.05374 127 100 17 10
617 Pick a runway. Any runway. 1.2913 0.05278 103 77 22 4
618 Now that we've passed through 10,000 feet, we'd like to begin our in-flight entertainment. 1.2910 0.05171 134 105 19 10
619 Life is an illusion and I am your pilot. 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
620 Yes, getting 90 tons of metal flying is a neat trick. 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
621 And just like that, the service cart has disappeared for the remainder of the flight! 1.2909 0.05681 110 86 16 8
622 Presto! No middle seat! 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
623 And for my next trick, we will arrive on schedule. 1.2909 0.04892 110 81 26 3
624 Abracadabra! All persons in the middle seats have disappeared. 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
625 For my next trick, I will land the plane 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
626 Unfortunately giving you more leg room is beyond my abilities. 1.2909 0.05681 110 86 16 8
627 And now the last two hours on the ground will magically disappear. 1.2906 0.05300 117 90 20 7
628 It helps you find your luggage 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
629 Our inflight snacks are magically delicious. 1.2903 0.05423 93 69 21 3
630 Everyone in first class gets one wish 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
631 Now look down to find your leg room has completely disappeared! 1.2903 0.05465 124 98 16 10
632 .... a little entertainment .. its only about a 12 hour delay 1.2900 0.05374 100 75 21 4
633 Delta told me to use the autopilot. I gotta fill the time somehow! 1.2897 0.06230 107 87 9 11
634 There is no magic in business class. 1.2897 0.05790 107 84 15 8
635 We don't call this Spirit Airline for nothing. 1.2897 0.05477 107 82 19 6
636 OK, I bet I can tell you where we are landing, does anyone want to make a guess" 1.2897 0.05145 107 80 23 4
637 Ta-da! Your carry-on now fits in the overhead bin. 1.2895 0.05246 114 87 21 6
638 For my next trick we will take off on time. 1.2887 0.05276 97 72 22 3
639 Illusions? Why yes! Like magic: extra seatroom 1.2887 0.05855 97 75 16 6
640 lets all sing the flight delay song 1.2885 0.06213 104 84 10 10
641 For my next trick, I will make your leg space disappear! 1.2883 0.05635 111 87 16 8
642 I can grant any wish—except get you into first class. 1.2883 0.05488 111 86 18 7
643 How else do you think this shit works? 1.2883 0.05020 111 83 24 4
644 And now, I will make your wi-fi disappear before your very eyes. 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
645 In lieu of food, drink, and comfort, we now offer live entertainment! 1.2874 0.05400 87 64 21 2
646 This is why I fly First Class. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
647 We'll be taking off just as soon as I can find my keys." 1.2872 0.05583 94 71 19 4
648 My best trick is landing this plane! 1.2872 0.05784 94 72 17 5
649 For my next trick --- peanuts! 1.2872 0.05784 94 72 17 5
650 There’s magic in the air 1.2871 0.06026 101 80 13 8
651 Lose the wand, lose the hat, get the drink cart. 1.2871 0.05859 101 79 15 7
652 Voila, your luggage is magically elsewhere. 1.2871 0.05328 101 76 21 4
653 For my biggest and most daring illusion yet, I will disappear for the remainder of this spirit airlines flight! 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
654 Now I will make your luggage disappear! 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
655 And just like that……your flight will be delayed by five hours. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
656 Now watch me make your luggage disappear when you disembark. 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
657 Your baggage will magically reappear three hours after you land! 1.2870 0.05350 115 89 19 7
658 In lieu of in-flight video, please enjoy my one-man interpretation of 'Harry Potter and the Cursed Child' ... 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
659 Watch, as I turn 1 hour on the tarmac into 3! 1.2857 0.05141 112 85 22 5
660 So much for that crying baby. 1.2857 0.05222 119 92 20 7
661 Welcome to Southwest, The Musical. 1.2857 0.04818 112 83 26 3
662 And presto! We depart on time! 1.2857 0.05802 98 76 16 6
663 There now,you don’t feel leg cramps at all, do you? 1.2857 0.05295 112 86 20 6
664 See how my fingers never serve alcohol in economy class. 1.2857 0.05591 112 88 16 8
665 And now, for a small service charge, I will make your luggage reappear. 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
666 I need one lucky volunteer to assist the pilot in landing the plane. 1.2857 0.05696 105 82 16 7
667 For my next trick, the plane will levitate 30,000 feet once we’re cleared for takeoff. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
668 Surprise! Detroit's not worth your time, but you'll love Dublin. 1.2857 0.05802 98 76 16 6
669 This magic wand will transport you to a time when we cared 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
670 For my next trick we’ll arrive on time. 1.2845 0.05020 116 88 23 5
671 And for my next track I will prevent this airplane from taking off for another two hours. 1.2844 0.04716 109 80 27 2
672 Now watch the middle armrest disappear! 1.2844 0.05389 109 84 19 6
673 With autopilot, I'm free to entertain about the cabin. 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
674 You will fall asleep for the next 3 hours and arrive at your destination rested and relaxed. Just kidding. 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
675 And, voila — YOU are free to move about the cabin. 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
676 At a wave of my magic wand, you will all have to use the rest room immediately. 1.2843 0.05096 102 76 23 3
677 By waving this magic wand, I can actually get you to watch me as I demonstrate how to buckle a seat belt and wear an oxygen mask. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
678 You can ask for anything but leg room 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
679 If you were a real magician we would have already taken off. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
680 And for basic economy, please enjoy our in-flight mime. 1.2833 0.05183 120 93 20 7
681 For my next trick I will saw your leg room in half! 1.2832 0.05547 113 89 16 8
682 And for the in-flight meal, the choices are pasta or rabbit! 1.2832 0.05102 113 86 22 5
683 Don't worry, the planes on auto pilot. 1.2830 0.05487 106 82 18 6
684 Now close your eyes for two hours, then look out the window again! 1.2830 0.05487 106 82 18 6
685 Watch as your patience with everyone around you slowly disappears. 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
686 I can change your pretzels to a full course meal.” 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
687 Would you like me to make the pilot reappear? 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
688 I'm your pilot and this is my control stick. 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
689 Heckle me again and I can turn you into a 3-year-old too. 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
690 For my next trick, we’re going to make all your luggage disappear 1.2828 0.05185 99 74 22 3
691 So, would you believe that I can now open the bin and your items will be exactly as you stored them? 1.2828 0.05380 99 75 20 4
692 Next stop, childlike wonderment and joy. 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
693 Just close your eyes, tap your heels three times and say I wish I was already home, I wish I was already home, i wish I was already home. 1.2821 0.05543 117 93 15 9
694 For my next trick, this flight will depart on time. 1.2821 0.05408 117 92 17 8
695 For the right price, I can create more leg room out of thin air. 1.2821 0.05408 117 92 17 8
696 For my next trick, all the infants will disappear. 1.2821 0.05128 117 90 21 6
697 Abracadabra, you will all be silent and courteous passengers for the remainder of the flight. 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
698 Now I need a volunteer for the disappearing luggage trick. 1.2818 0.05500 110 86 17 7
699 Just put your seat back and relax for a spell. 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
700 Complimentary in-flight entertainment 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
701 And for our next trick, you'll notice that two of our engines have disappeared. 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
702 Shazamm! You’re in first class 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
703 And voila! You now have half an inch of additional leg room! 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
704 Oh, I'll get back to flying the plane in a minute, but first a little entertainment. 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
705 Airbracadabra - we’ll be on time if you believe it 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
706 And when we land, all the luggage you were required to gate check will have appeared in the overhead compartments 1.2812 0.05482 96 73 19 4
707 For my next trick I need a volunteer who has no fear of heights. 1.2812 0.06052 96 76 13 7
708 This isn't the safety speech. 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
709 Magic wand for purchase? 1.2812 0.05482 96 73 19 4
710 At least one passenger's luggage will disappear, but I won't say who. 1.2810 0.05278 121 95 18 8
711 . . . and POOF, just like that, you'll be served real food on real dishware. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
712 And like magic, you have 2 more inches of leg room. 1.2809 0.05051 89 65 23 1
713 And now dinner service! Do you prefer rabbit or dove? 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
714 Prepare to be amazed, in the exceedingly unlikely event that your luggage appears at the carousel! 1.2809 0.06187 89 70 13 6
715 As if by magic, your bags were sent hither and yon to crowded yet remote locations that will appear some future day on your mobile app if properly updated. Remember, we thanked you, not your luggage, for flying with us. 1.2807 0.05779 114 92 12 10
716 The meal choices are rabbit or pigeon 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
717 When I snap my fingers you will awaken and only remember that it was a great flight! 1.2804 0.05442 107 83 18 6
718 In lieu of in-flight service, one lucky passenger may pull a snack from my hat. 1.2804 0.05757 107 85 14 8
719 And now for our greatest illusion: competence. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
720 And, presto! Your luggage has disappeared. 1.2800 0.04940 100 74 24 2
721 For my next trick, ‘Serving snacks on-board that you’ll actually enjoy!’ 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
722 Sit back, relax and enjoy the illusion of great service. 1.2800 0.06044 100 80 12 8
723 …and as we descend at an alarming speed, I will now magically transform your seat cushion into a floatation device. 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
724 Watch as I pull a two hour delay out of nowhere! 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
725 For my next trick, I will be transporting all of you to Mar-A-Lago’s Shred Fest 2022! 1.2796 0.06552 93 76 8 9
726 As the captain said, you must obey my every command 1.2796 0.06185 93 74 12 7
727 Poof! If you check your carry-ons, you'll find that the contraband items you smuggled past Security have disappeared." 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
728 And now, for the remainder of the flight, I shall disappear. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
729 and for my next trick I’ll make your carry-on fit in the overhead bin 1.2793 0.05147 111 85 21 5
730 Welcome passengers of flight 206 to Las Vegas and thanks to the magic of aviation. I welcome you to Cleveland. 1.2793 0.05147 111 85 21 5
731 The clown is in the cockpit. 1.2793 0.05456 111 87 17 7
732 For my next act I'll make your checked luggage. disappear. 1.2788 0.05709 104 82 15 7
733 And for my next trick, I'm going to make you think you had dinner! 1.2788 0.05543 104 81 17 6
734 For my next trick, I'm going to make your seats even smaller. 1.2788 0.05709 104 82 15 7
735 I could never have done this before autopilot! 1.2788 0.05870 104 83 13 8
736 And POOF ! Your luggage will reappear 1.2788 0.05709 104 82 15 7
737 I will now make your luggage disappear. Oh...too late! 1.2787 0.05492 122 98 14 10
738 And now, watch me pull a pilot out of my hat. 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
739 Bet you wish you read the fine print on the in-flight entertainment now! 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
740 Unfortunately, the clown is the one flying the plane 1.2784 0.05815 97 76 15 6
741 Food; legroom; what else can I make disappear? 1.2784 0.06173 97 78 11 8
742 And poof! We lost your luggage! 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
743 And for my next trick, I'll make the pilot reappear. 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
744 At the count of 3, items in the overhead bin will no longer shift. 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
745 Presto, Chango... the items in the overhead bin have shifted during the flight! 1.2784 0.05815 97 76 15 6
746 And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how I fly the plane. 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
747 And now what’s left of your leg-room will disappear! 1.2784 0.05815 97 76 15 6
748 This is one time nobody will sneak out before I finish my act. 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
749 As your pilot and amateur magician, I’m going to levitate this 220 ton vehicle. 1.2783 0.05024 115 88 22 5
750 First class has Beyoncé. 1.2778 0.06126 90 71 13 6
751 See? I’m using magic to convince you that if you wear your seat belts you’ll be safer and, if a new variant comes out, I will then magically convince you to wear your masks again! 1.2778 0.04893 108 81 24 3
752 You guys are a tough crowd. Not as tough as when I worked Con Air, but still. 1.2778 0.06126 90 71 13 6
753 Ta-da! Your legroom has magically vanished. 1.2778 0.05235 108 83 20 5
754 One of these days this is definitely going to work. 1.2778 0.05709 108 86 14 8
755 If you watch the rest of my safety presentation, I’ll wave my magic wand and return all electronic devices to your hands. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
756 Be careful when opening the overhead compartment because "shift happens." 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
757 And for my next trick, I will make your food edible. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
758 Shazam! Only Aisle and Window Seats! 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
759 Watch while I make all signs of comfort disappear! 1.2772 0.05990 101 81 12 8
760 And for my next trick, watch closely as your leg room magically disappears. 1.2772 0.05822 101 80 14 7
761 Alakazam, alakazoo. A can of coke and some peanuts for you! 1.2768 0.05107 112 86 21 5
762 I wish they'd go back to serving wine 1.2768 0.04947 112 85 23 4
763 Your seat's not tight, the plane is on time and the pilot didn't party last night. 1.2768 0.05262 112 87 19 6
764 Now watch as your last hope of catching that connection disappears 1.2768 0.05107 112 86 21 5
765 For my next trick I will magically make your luggage disappear! 1.2766 0.05741 94 73 16 5
766 OK. Now I'm going to make your luggage disappear. 1.2766 0.05327 94 71 20 3
767 For my next trick I will get the kid behind you to stop kicking your seat back. 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
768 And for my next trick,I will pull more leg room out of my hat! 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
769 For my next feat, I will make the nine planes ahead of us on the runway reappear behind us! 1.2762 0.05496 105 82 17 6
770 For my next trick, I'll make complimentary drinks and snacks, as well as all basic human civility, disappear. 1.2762 0.05975 105 85 11 9
771 And voila! Your luggage is no longer on this plane. 1.2762 0.05152 105 80 21 4
772 If we run out of fuel I have this! 1.2762 0.05152 105 80 21 4
773 Yes, it is possible for the seats to get smaller! 1.2762 0.05820 105 84 13 8
774 And for our next trick, we are about to turn your seat cushions into a flotation device. 1.2759 0.06049 87 68 14 5
775 We have open space in first class and we are moving you up there at no cost. 1.2759 0.06266 87 69 12 6
776 I will now demonstrate how in an emergency we can evacuate all 300 of you from the aircraft in the FAA mandated 90 seconds. 1.2759 0.05590 87 66 18 3
777 Fasten your seat belts. The mariachi band is next. 1.2759 0.06266 87 69 12 6
778 Alakazam, I've changed your steaks into a bag of peanuts. 1.2759 0.06049 87 68 14 5
779 And voila, your luggage has disappeared! 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
780 In the case of a water landing, this wand will inflate. 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
781 Welcome to Southwest! 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
782 I'll bet you've always wondered what keeps a plane in the air. 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
783 I want you to think of a number between A10 and A17. 1.2752 0.04855 109 82 24 3
784 Repeat after me: "I AM in first class, I WILL leave a good review..." 1.2752 0.05193 109 84 20 5
785 Instead of larger seats, voilà, you now have smaller rumps. 1.2752 0.05662 109 87 14 8
786 Now I’ll make your bags disappear 1.2750 0.06156 80 62 14 4
787 Who says there is no magic in airline travel now? 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
788 Getting the Wi-Fi to work requires a little magic, and five dollars. 1.2747 0.05649 91 70 17 4
789 Watch as I make all passenger demands magically disappear. 1.2747 0.06066 91 72 13 6
790 Magic makes you forget how small the seat is. 1.2745 0.05601 102 80 16 6
791 Now For my next trick I'll make this child disappear. 1.2745 0.05242 102 78 20 4
792 Yes, your comfort is an illusion. 1.2743 0.04909 113 86 23 4
793 Next, I'll take your legroom and make it appear in first class!" 1.2743 0.05370 113 89 17 7
794 Just joking, your luggage disappeared before we took off 1.2740 0.06248 73 56 14 3
795 At least my act is first class. 1.2737 0.06068 95 76 12 7
796 And with one wave of the wand our seating capacity is doubled! 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
797 And now for a truly amazing feat, your luggage will reappear! 1.2737 0.05881 95 75 14 6
798 Now which overhead bin is the pilot in? 1.2736 0.05110 106 81 21 4
799 And now for my final trick, I'll make your luggage appear on a different flight 1.2736 0.05451 106 83 17 6
800 And just like THAT I made your connecting flight disappear!” 1.2736 0.04931 106 80 23 3
801 …and Devon devolves into magic during the third hour of waiting on the tarmac. 1.2736 0.05771 106 85 13 8
802 I will now begin your in-flight entertainment. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
803 Tell me please, who would you like to see disappear first? 1.2735 0.05513 117 94 14 9
804 For my next trick I shall make the pilot disappear. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
805 And, for only $3.99, my next trick will make the WiFi free! 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
806 And now for some real magic, I will make this flight pleasant! 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
807 And now… even MORE legroom! 1.2727 0.05888 99 79 13 7
808 Well, we made it to Cleveland. And now for my next trick, we're going to try to land . 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
809 Hi! This is your captain speaking! You're in for a surprise! 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
810 So, now that I've got us up, watch how I bring us down! 1.2718 0.05721 103 82 14 7
811 Contents in the overhead bins may shift during the flight ... or may completely disappear! 1.2718 0.05198 103 79 20 4
812 In the event of decompression, oxygen masks will appear at the count of $50 1.2718 0.05721 103 82 14 7
813 And now, I will make all of the babies on this flight stop crying at the same time 1.2718 0.05198 103 79 20 4
814 And to make the hidden fees reappear… 1.2717 0.06007 92 73 13 6
815 Voila! You’ve just been upgraded to Premium Economy! 1.2717 0.05377 92 70 19 3
816 And ‘Shazam!’ You’re in First Class, with unlimited champagne cocktails, hors’douvres, and Beef Wellington!’ But wait! I’m also the Amazing Kreskin, and I see you’re a Junk Food Vegan with a gluten intolerance? 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
817 Note that FAA regulations strictly prohibit the use of smoke and mirrors in this act. 1.2717 0.06007 92 73 13 6
818 Yes! I am your flight attendant but im also airmagician89 on TikTok, so buckle up! 1.2717 0.06007 92 73 13 6
819 And abracadabra, your luggage is going to Akron - while you head for the beautiful vistas of the Grand Canyon! 1.2710 0.05566 107 85 15 7
820 Last week he was the opening act in Coach. 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
821 For my next trick, I'll create the illusion that I actually care about you as passengers. 1.2710 0.05405 107 84 17 6
822 This section is now declassified 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
823 And Abracadabra, your luggage is in Lagos! 1.2710 0.05405 107 84 17 6
824 ...and for my next trick, I'll show you how to abruptly invade the personal space of the person behind you, with just the push of a button! 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
825 I'll bet you've been wondering what keeps this plane up in the air!! 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
826 And for my next trick I’ll make your luggage disappear before we land 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
827 I'm here to tell you the revived Boeing 737 Max you are flying in right now is completely safe. 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
828 Now I will levitate us all 30,000 feet into the air. And if that ain't magic, nothing is. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
829 Ma’am, I can make only one passenger vanish till landing. Not your toddler AND the man who complained about him. 1.2706 0.06348 85 68 11 6
830 I can't make your seat bigger, but I can saw you in half. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
831 Watch out your windows, please. In a moment with a swirl of my wand I will make the earth recede below us. 1.2700 0.05478 100 78 17 5
832 For my next trick I will turn a complimentary meal into a tiny bag of pretzels. 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
833 Abracadabra, your connecting flights are no longer cancelled. 1.2700 0.05660 100 79 15 6
834 For my next trick, I'll make this plane leave on time! 1.2700 0.05478 100 78 17 5
835 And with the wave of this magic wand, you'll forget all about the eight hour delay we had for this flight. 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
836 Hold your applause until we land. 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
837 ....and I apologise if due to previous customer choice your wish is not available. 1.2700 0.05660 100 79 15 6
838 Oh, fuck! 1.2700 0.05835 100 80 13 7
839 Now with a flick of the wrist I will make the pilot reappear! 1.2700 0.05660 100 79 15 6
840 And now your seat cushion is a flotation device. 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
841 I’d stretch the plane too, but you’d have to pay triple for the extra two inches of legroom. 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
842 Abracadabra Luggage Unshift! 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
843 Please pull a rabbit out of your hat before helping others do so 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
844 And for my next act: I'll make your child's composure disappear! 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
845 I hope the next act lands better than this one. 1.2696 0.05429 115 92 15 8
846 Smile folks. We don't appreciate bad altitude around here. 1.2692 0.04970 104 79 22 3
847 And now... for our in-flight entertainment! 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
848 What would you really like to eat on this flight ? 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
849 I'm your Captain. Make a wish, any wish! 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
850 According to the latest air travel consumer report, passengers expect magic amid labor shortages. 1.2688 0.05542 93 72 17 4
851 ...and through the wonders of modern air travel we've made your dignity disappear! 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
852 Presto! Your legs are now six inches shorter! 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
853 And just like that, your luggage has disappeared. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
854 The real trick is that I'm the pilot. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
855 And now, I shall make your patience and dignity disappear! 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
856 Let me guess, you can only make luggage disappear. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
857 I may as well tell you now that the "FASTEN SEATBELT" sign will stay on for my entire show. 1.2674 0.05341 86 65 19 2
858 A chunk of metal this heavy ain't gonna fly itself. 1.2674 0.06496 86 70 9 7
859 Abra Cadabra and there is more leg room with one free suitcase 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
860 And for my next trick the captain will regain consciousness! 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
861 And, ta-da, with our high-density configuration, your comfort disappears. 1.2674 0.06282 86 69 11 6
862 On my last flight he made my bags disappear. 1.2673 0.05430 101 79 17 5
863 There. Do you have more legroom now? 1.2673 0.05052 101 77 21 3
864 . Due to engine failure, we’ll need some volunteers for this next trick! 1.2673 0.05952 101 82 11 8
865 Your constructive criticism will be rewarded by (poof) an unattended baby behind you. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
866 And after me Shaky the Copilot Clown will perform his Turbulence Routine! 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
867 Abracadabra! She won’t kick the back of your seat. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
868 When you awaken you will remember air travel as pleasant, inexpensive and relaxing. 1.2667 0.06281 90 73 10 7
869 And just like that, I’ve made your checked luggage disappear. 1.2667 0.05458 105 83 16 6
870 And for our basic economy fliers, the onboard entertainment is...my side hustle! 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
871 For my next trick, I will make meal service completely disappear. 1.2667 0.05257 120 96 16 8
872 Watch as I make these towers disappear! 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
873 And voila! Your bags will arrive at the same airport where you will arrive! 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
874 And, yes I am the reason for our emergency landing in Denver. Like magic. 1.2667 0.06281 90 73 10 7
875 And now I've made your luggage disappear! 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
876 Beverage? Snack? Make that kid in Row 37 stop bawling? 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
877 Would you like to purchase the in-flight entertainment? 1.2667 0.05784 105 85 12 8
878 ...and in conclusion I will also make your food and beverage service disappear. 1.2667 0.05624 105 84 14 7
879 The rabbit under you seat can be used as a flotation device. 1.2661 0.05006 124 98 19 7
880 ...and when we reach our destination, you'll find that I made your luggage disappear." 1.2661 0.04873 124 97 21 6
881 Watch me pull your luggage out of my hat! 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
882 And for my next trick I will land the plane on time! 1.2661 0.05475 109 87 15 7
883 And now, to make some fees appear. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
884 My mother said the world would never accept a magician flight attendant. Who here thinks she was wrong? 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
885 Now, close your eyes everyone and imagine a flight attendant who doesn't hate you. 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
886 For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer from the audience... to give up their seat in exchange for a voucher on a future flight. 1.2653 0.05720 98 78 14 6
887 Alright, you folks in the exit row, are you willing and able to be my magical assistants? 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
888 If you lived here you’d be home by now 1.2651 0.06433 83 67 10 6
889 And for my next trick I’ll get us a union! 1.2647 0.05561 102 81 15 6
890 Unfortunately, the rabbit was confiscated at security. 1.2647 0.05732 102 82 13 7
891 Anybody see an escaped rabbit on this plane? 1.2647 0.05383 102 80 17 5
892 For my next trick, this flight will land on time at the originally planned destination and all your luggage will appear on the carousel without being lost. 1.2647 0.05383 102 80 17 5
893 For my next trick, I will now disappear for the next three hours. 1.2647 0.04812 102 77 23 2
894 For my next trick, the miracle of flight! 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
895 Bibbidi-Bobbidi, Alakazam; the child will stop crying in one moment, ma’am! 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
896 Anyone else want more legroom? 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
897 Everyone needs a side-hustle in this economy. 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
898 The pilots were let go in the last round of budget cuts... 1.2637 0.05813 91 72 14 5
899 And for my next trick, I'll be escaping the TSA agent getting up from his seat as we speak. 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
900 And this is how we land planes 1.2637 0.04645 91 67 24 0
901 If I saw you in half, you'll fit in your seat-- Presto! 1.2636 0.05582 110 89 13 8
902 On the last flight, I shrunk the seats! Now watch as I make your snacks disappear! 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
903 Stay calm! I'm the only member of the flight crew that relies on a magic wand. 1.2632 0.05837 95 76 13 6
904 After beverage service I shall make myself disappear. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
905 Rabbit, roses or almonds, sir? 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
906 And now I'll magically transport your checked luggage to Uzbekistan. 1.2632 0.06208 95 78 9 8
907 With a wave of this wand,I shall make you believe that a tiny bag of crackers is a meal! 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
908 In lieu of our projector not working, I'd like to offer you some entertainment for the next three hours. 1.2626 0.05847 99 80 12 7
909 Sleep, Sleep, Sleep... 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
910 I thought you said we weren’t flying Southwest 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
911 We just found this part. Anyone know where it goes? 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
912 For my next feat, presto chango, I will make you imagine you are not on a bus. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
913 We are headed to the Burmuda Triangle. 1.2621 0.05155 103 80 19 4
914 And now, for those who upgraded, I will give you the illusion of more leg space! 1.2621 0.05337 103 81 17 5
915 No Covid droplets here. 1.2619 0.06364 84 68 10 6
916 Abracadabra. You now believe the seats are comfortable, the food is great, the wi-fi works, and the tickets are reasonable. And the bathrooms are not disgusting. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
917 For my next trick, vanishing leg room! 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
918 Sir, prepare to be blown away... literally. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
919 Is he really in the cockpit? Are you sure? 1.2619 0.06364 84 68 10 6
920 For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer who will accept $200 to be rebooked on a flight that leaves next Tuesday. 1.2617 0.05367 107 85 16 6
921 For my next trick we'll be flying into the air on time and landing at JFK without any delays. Thanks for choosing when pigs fly airline 1.2617 0.05367 107 85 16 6
922 As part of your in-flight entertainment as we fly to Australia: magic trick number one. Of 3000. 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
923 Abbra Cadabbra! Your seats are now wider, you will receive a free snack and lunch, we will arrive on time and you will make your next flight. Presto Chango! 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
924 For a small gratuity I can even change that seat-kicking kid to a different row. 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
925 I'd like to entertain you unless you're using miles 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
926 Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Booze! 1.2614 0.06153 88 71 11 6
927 Hey, Main Cabin, how about a big welcome cheer for the good folks in First and Business! 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
928 More legroom, no! Wider aisle, no! There must be a wish I could fulfill for you! 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
929 OK, and now, with the tip of my wand, masks are...NO LONGER REQUIRED! 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
930 And for my next trick, your luggage disappears! 1.2609 0.06157 92 75 10 7
931 And voilà, the lavatory smoke detector is now disabled. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
932 Abracadabra: First class upgrade. 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
933 And for our next trick, we make both your money and comfort disappear! 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
934 Now, your next service to disappear will be.... 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
935 In the unlikely event of a water landing I will just whip out my magic wand and turn this flying hunk of steel into a Disney Cruise Ship! Please note this may result in a ticketing change fee. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
936 And in lieu of your in-flight meal....MAGIC !!!!! 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
937 And for my next trick, I’ll give you more than an inch of legroom. 1.2600 0.05617 100 80 14 6
938 I need your help. The rabbit got loose. 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
939 Crampacadabra. 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
940 And when we're flying over the Bermuda Triangle, we all say "Abracadabra". 1.2596 0.05465 104 83 15 6
941 You won’t believe how close I can make these seats 1.2596 0.05291 104 82 17 5
942 At the count of 3 you won’t recall this lousy flight 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
943 and now...my disappearing luggage trick 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
944 And for our dinner entrée: pulled rabbit! 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
945 No amount of magic can change your seat to first class. 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
946 Still better than "Now You See Me 2" 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
947 My friends won’t watch my tricks anymore so I am seeking captive audiences 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
948 Tips are greatly appreciated, unless someone wants the right engine to start losing power. 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
949 Now, ladies and gentlemen, watch as I pull a parachute out of my hat. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
950 …and PRESTO! Now you’re the pilot. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
951 and now i’ll give you nausea!!! 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
952 And for my next illusion, I will attempt to convince you that this airline gives a hoot about your comfort by handing you a bag of stale peanuts. 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
953 Your meal choice is rabbit or dove. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
954 And, voila, we no longer serve peanuts. 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
955 And voila! Your luggage is gone. 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
956 Even I can’t make your seat go back. 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
957 I will now make all comfort disappear. 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
958 ...and remember folks, it's a taser now too! 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
959 And when you get off the plane, your luggage will have disappeared. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
960 And now for my next trick, extra leg room! That’ll be $500. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
961 Coffee, tea, or magic?" 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
962 Now let me see if I can make the pilot reappear. 1.2571 0.05418 105 84 15 6
963 Sure, and with this wand, I can bring you a hot meal and a roomier seat 1.2571 0.05246 105 83 17 5
964 My show will feature coins, scarves, cards, and whatever else was returned after my TSA screening. 1.2571 0.05246 105 83 17 5
965 And...poof! Your checked baggage has disappeared. 1.2569 0.05438 109 88 14 7
966 hocus pocus you CAN have the whole can of soda 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
967 “Remember, if you really, really believe, your luggage will appear on the carousel!” 1.2561 0.06211 82 66 11 5
968 Expecto seatsbackio! 1.2561 0.06449 82 67 9 6
969 And now, for my next trick, I will restart both engines! 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
970 Welcome to no frills airlines. I will now make your luggage disappear. 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
971 I will now turn your seat cushion into a floating device. 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
972 Decent food is out of the question, but a gently-used headset you shall have! 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
973 Just coins and rabbits…can’t help with the crying baby. 1.2558 0.06230 86 70 10 6
974 We’ll be up in the air in no time. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
975 What's it worth to make your legroom reappear? 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
976 A little sleight-of-hand before the flight's to land? 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
977 The flight is being diverted to Pittsburgh. Tada! 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
978 Can I have a lovely volunteer from coach? 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
979 220 tons of metal reaching 40,000 feet and 600 mph…magic! 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
980 Abracadabra! The seat kicker will now disappear. 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
981 I apologize specifically to your child, but, due to airline regulations, I can't bring the rabbit back until we are off the plane and out of the airport. 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
982 Airbuscadabra 1.2553 0.05647 94 75 14 5
983 Now that we have reached cruising altitude, I shall dehypnotize the flight crew. They are once again just performing seals . 1.2553 0.05846 94 76 12 6
984 Oxygen masks will magically descend from the ceiling.... 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
985 Now, about that one 'only good' landing wheel we've got left... 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
986 Abracadabra---The child behind you will neither cry nor kick your seat. 1.2551 0.05858 98 80 11 7
987 It can turn into a broomstick if there's an emergency. 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
988 And for those of you wanting some extra leg room, I will saw you in half. 1.2549 0.05155 102 80 18 4
989 Look outside. We're flying. 1.2549 0.04963 102 79 20 3
990 You're getting very sleepy, and won't remember a bit of this turbulence 1.2549 0.05340 102 81 16 5
991 And for my next trick, I'm going to make you all fly. 1.2549 0.05340 102 81 16 5
992 Due to unnatural forces, expect a surprise landing! 1.2549 0.05518 102 82 14 6
993 And for my next trick, first let my beautiful assistant bring in the More Leg Room Box and the Magic Saw! 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
994 Our flight will take aproximately 12 hours. You're all becoming sleepy, very sleepy . . . 1.2547 0.04845 106 82 21 3
995 . . . .And it's only an additional $9.95 to participate in the sing-along....credit cards only. 1.2544 0.04795 114 89 21 4
996 Magically, I've made all travel comforts, DISAPPEAR! 1.2542 0.04690 118 92 22 4
997 And for an extra $300, I can change the rabbit back into your pilot. 1.2542 0.05272 118 96 14 8
998 Now, who wants a wider seat? 1.2540 0.04904 126 101 18 7
999 At Abra Cadabra Air, your astonishment is our top priority!" 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
1000 Abracadabra! You deserve first class and have been chosen to lead the revolt! 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
1001 Imagine, life without the politics of Earth...we're off to Mars to start fresh and overcome our mistakes. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
1002 Here at Spirit Airlines, you just have to BELIEVE in the magic of customer service and leg space 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
1003 And for my next trick, I’ll make everyone miss their connecting flight. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1004 And now...nutless chow mix!!!" 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1005 For my next trick, I'll shrink your legroom even more! 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1006 Now for the illusion of safety. 1.2530 0.06378 83 68 9 6
1007 Welcome to Oz! 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
1008 I'm here to enhance your flight experience. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
1009 I'm a mime on the way back. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
1010 I actually made us fly btw. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
1011 Not enough leg room? I've got just the trick! 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
1012 With a wave of my wand and a mandate from Corporate, all of your free in-flight amenities will disappear. 1.2529 0.06165 87 71 10 6
1013 For my next trick, I will make all your legroom disappear. 1.2529 0.05944 87 70 12 5
1014 And now for a little more legroom! 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
1015 I will now attempt to return dignity to air travel.” 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
1016 And that is how this plane is able to fly! 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
1017 For my next trick, I’ll make the kid in the 2nd row disappear! 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
1018 Leviosa! 1.2527 0.05970 91 74 11 6
1019 It was that or having Ron DeSantis pick your destination. 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
1020 I'm here to prevent a plane crash! 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
1021 inflight entertainment should be optional 1.2527 0.06171 91 75 9 7
1022 Next stop Hogwarts! 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1023 And with a wave of my magic wand, one of you will have a free meal. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1024 Could I have a volunteer? 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1025 I've never failed to stick a landing. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1026 And voila! No more peanuts! 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1027 For my next trick, I will TRY to make the pilot reappear. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1028 For my next trick, I’ll make this man’s legroom disappear! 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1029 Don't worry about the safety, it is all in magic!! 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
1030 “If you think that was a great trick, wait until you try to find your luggage!” 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
1031 Welcome to the Magic Carpet Ride. 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
1032 And while we don't anticipate a drop in cabin pressure... 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
1033 ...and you all believe you are in business class. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
1034 Abracadabra! He can no longer kick your seat! 1.2523 0.05490 107 87 13 7
1035 I can assure you, the pilot will be returning any moment now 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1036 Don’t worry folks; I will now make the captain re-appear! 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
1037 Hi, folks. Your on-board entertainment today will be 'Rabbits on a Plane'. 1.2500 0.06523 76 62 9 5
1038 And for my next trick, we will actually be taking off on time. 1.2500 0.05573 100 81 13 6
1039 Now watch carefully as I turn this perfectly normal bit of cardboard into a delicious chicken frittata and bread roll. 1.2500 0.05735 96 78 12 6
1040 And with this in my hand we'll be able to land! 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
1041 Close your eyes and wish for more legroom. 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
1042 Should there be an emergency you folks are screwed ... I will simply pixie-dust right on out of here 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
1043 Can we have our TV screens back? 1.2500 0.05000 100 78 19 3
1044 Now watch as I turn a fifteen-minute delay into an hour delay! 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1045 My next trick is to clear the oversold seats. 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
1046 When you wake the inflight meal will seem edible. 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
1047 Watch me make your leg room disappear. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
1048 Ethel, that's why they named it "The Magical Mystery Tour" 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
1049 If needed,oxygen masks will drop from behind your ears. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
1050 For my next trick,I will make $150 appear for someone willing to take the next flight. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
1051 Finally, watch as I make your luggage disappear. 1.2500 0.05046 84 64 19 1
1052 Being a flight attendant pays the bills, but it was never my passion. 1.2500 0.05038 92 71 19 2
1053 Of course, there is a $30 in-flight entertainment fee. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
1054 On the count of 3 I will put this child to sleep until we land 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
1055 Now when I say the magic word, you won't feel the toddler kicking you seat constantly throughout the flight. 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
1056 Trick or pretzels? 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
1057 And when I say 'abra cadabra' all of your luggage will miraculously be there when we land! 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1058 And you thought in flight entertainment was only available in 1st class. 1.2500 0.06523 76 62 9 5
1059 Welcome to Prestidigitator Airlines. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
1060 Abracabraaaaaaaace for impact! 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
1061 Recline your seats for the illusion of comfort. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
1062 Legume - Mushroom - alla fa lume - give these folks more leg room 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
1063 John finally found a captive audience for his close-up magic routine. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
1064 Now I’ll perform my most difficult trick, I’ll provide you an airplane meal from 30 years ago. 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
1065 Watch closely as I make another 3 inches of leg room disappear! 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
1066 Welcome to Magic Airlines. We'll get you there one way or another!" 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
1067 Amtrakadabra! 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1068 For my next act, I will make the plane depart on time! 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
1069 And in the event of rude or drunken behaviour, I'll wave my magic wand and you will all dissapear. 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1070 And for my next magic trick, I will return flying to its original splendor… 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1071 ... and just like that we'll be back on the rails in one, two, ... 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1072 And then the Fed Chairman said, Voila! Inflation gone! 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1073 For my next trick, I’ll decrease the amount your seats recline by half! 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
1074 On the count of three you will be your satisfied with the leg room and meal service. 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
1075 Abracadabra! And this aircraft is flying! Now, in the unlikely event we …… 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
1076 With a flick of my wand, I’m gonna make your baby disappear. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1077 In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I’ll be asking for a volunteer from the audience. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1078 And with a wave of my wand your luggage just disappears! 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1079 And now for my disappearing legroom trick... 1.2473 0.04751 93 71 21 1
1080 hippity dippity ding, the plane has lost a wing 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1081 Ever heard of the magic school bus? 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1082 Contents of one overhead bin may have mysteriously shifted to another. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1083 And for my next trick, I will make our pilots… disappear!!! 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
1084 Presto, Change-o, you're now in 1st class!!!! 1.2472 0.05124 89 69 18 2
1085 And we’re flying! 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
1086 And, Poof! Your stomach is full of delicious meal and your favorite beverage. You're Welcome! 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
1087 In flight magic wands can be purchased for twelve dollars… 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
1088 And just like that I've made your luggage disappear forever! 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
1089 ...and just like that, we're behind schedule... 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
1090 I’m Kevin, the Amazing, and I’ll be your flight attendant today. In the unlikely event of a water landing, I will turn this aircraft into a really big boat. 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
1091 Does he have a delete button? 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
1092 It’s how we put the 737 Max on autopilot. 1.2471 0.05268 85 66 17 2
1093 It's okay, I'm an emotional support magician. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1094 Please pay attention while I demonstrate our new backup elevation system... 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
1095 AlaKazaam!! All your tray tables and seats have been returned to their original, upright position. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1096 And now for a very special announcement about your baggage... 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1097 Your luggage will be unloaded and placed on the conveyor belt first. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1098 More leg room? Sorry, I don't take requests. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
1099 At the count of three, I'm going to make your luggage disappear. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
1100 For my next trick, I will be presenting you some turbulence 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
1101 Abracadabra. It’s not chicken. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
1102 For my next trick, I will turn your seat cushions into flotation devices. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
1103 Every time a child says 'I don't believe in magic', there is a plane somewhere that falls down dead. 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
1104 And when I snap my fingers you will all sleep until the captain says we are landing. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
1105 For my next trick, there miraculously will be a runway already aware we are arriving!!! 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
1106 You want your roll-ons to fit overhead, or not? 1.2455 0.04690 110 86 21 3
1107 I can do magic, but asking for food and drinks is crazy talk! 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
1108 ...and in case of emergency, I'll pull parachutes out of my hat...! 1.2451 0.05474 102 83 13 6
1109 An optimist created the plane, and a pessimist created seatbelts. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
1110 And for my next trick I will figure out how to land this thing. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
1111 Just a reminder folks! Let’s all behave! This is a tazzer 1.2447 0.05796 94 77 11 6
1112 Watch me turn your seats into first class. 1.2447 0.05796 94 77 11 6
1113 And now for my next trick I shall make your luggage disappear! 1.2444 0.05765 90 73 12 5
1114 For my next act, I'll make your checked bags disappear. 1.2444 0.05978 90 74 10 6
1115 No pilot? No problem! 1.2444 0.05765 90 73 12 5
1116 And now, I'mg going to make a home-cooked meal on china plates appear! 1.2444 0.05978 90 74 10 6
1117 ...and now in lieu of our in-flight movie... 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
1118 …and that is how carry-ons fit in the overhead compartment. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
1119 Who says flying isn't what it used to be? 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
1120 I lo-o-o-ve captive audiences. 1.2442 0.06175 86 71 9 6
1121 ... and if you think I'll be able to make free snacks and drinks for you, you've had too much to drink in the departure lounge. Have a nice flight! 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
1122 I will now set you free to move about the cabin. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
1123 I will now make leg room, meals, and discount fares disappear. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
1124 Now watch as I make our estimated arrival time disappear. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
1125 Your pilot will be looking for this in a few minutes. 1.2439 0.06150 82 67 10 5
1126 Due to the labor shortage, they can't fire me. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
1127 Flying is magic—it’s me keeping this plane aloft! 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
1128 Come fly with me. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
1129 For my next magic act the flight will arrive on time. 1.2439 0.06150 82 67 10 5
1130 I’m in charge of closing the overhead luggage compartments. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
1131 The rabbit just did something on my head. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
1132 Please choose from an assortment of snacks and beverages which will be then pulled out of my hat. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
1133 With this wand, I will levitate this vehicle and take us to the nearest soft landing concrete area. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
1134 And Presto! We have an on-time arrival with all of your luggage! 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
1135 Folks, we appreciate your patience as the flight crew records their latest attempt at a viral TikTok video. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
1136 I see we have some out-of-towners in the audience. 1.2436 0.05221 78 60 17 1
1137 And for my next trick, I am going to land the plane. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
1138 Quiet the baby? No, but I can pull a rabbit out of a barf bag! 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
1139 And any joy of flying will disappear. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
1140 Anybody want an upgrade? 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
1141 My first trick will explain Bernoulli's principle. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
1142 let me show you a little trick before we crash 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
1143 And for my next trick, I'll make this screaming child disappear! [thunderous applause ensues] 1.2427 0.05426 103 84 13 6
1144 When I clap my hands, you will be asleep... and magically not remember the 5-hour delay to board. 1.2427 0.05426 103 84 13 6
1145 Let me amaze you with an on-time departure! 1.2427 0.04672 103 80 21 2
1146 And for my next trick, I will fit an expedition-size suitcase into the overhead.” 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
1147 And now I will make your anxiety about sitting uncomfortably close to total strangers while hurtling through midair in a pressurized and possibly pathogen-infected metal can that you don't know how to operate disappear - using only Biscoff cookies! 1.2421 0.05933 95 79 9 7
1148 And now for my next trick, I will pilot us to our destination on time. 1.2421 0.05741 95 78 11 6
1149 Watch me pull some peanuts out of my hat! - 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
1150 This is your captain. Enjoy our new technology. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
1151 You might remember me from my work aboard Malaysia Airlines Flight 370“ 1.2418 0.05918 91 75 10 6
1152 Going to wave this, so we can guarantee your flight won’t be canceled 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
1153 Happy thoughts keep the plane up! 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
1154 We are trying everything to ensure you make your connections today. 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
1155 And for my next trick, I will pull your warm towel out of my hat. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
1156 And with three waves of my wand, your baggage shall simply disappear! 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
1157 Don't worry, I have the autopilot engaged. 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
1158 And now for something to relax you before the landing. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
1159 I’m told you have a complaint about legroom? 1.2414 0.06110 87 72 9 6
1160 Watch me pull 2 extra inches of legroom out of my hat! 1.2414 0.04895 87 67 19 1
1161 I’m your captain and Mr Wand is your co-pilot 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
1162 For my next trick... landing. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
1163 . . . and this flight will be smooth, we'll arrive on time, your baggage will be found, and an attendant at the gate will refund half of the outrageous fare you paid. 1.2410 0.06320 83 69 8 6
1164 No leg room,no beverage service,no smoked nuts,no carryons,only one working lav,but entertainment for your flying pleasure. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
1165 And now I will pull a tiger out of the overhead compartment. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
1166 And now for my last feat of incredible magic, I am going to make the baby in 27A, who has been crying for the last two hours, stop!” 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
1167 Due to astounding, mesmerizing, and unforeseen circumstances, our flight has been delayed. 1.2410 0.04723 83 63 20 0
1168 The pilot has just told me we’ll be making a brief stop in Hogwarts on our way to Heathrow in lieu’ of an actual meal. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
1169 Don't worry, I'm not allowed to make flights disappear anymore! 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
1170 We no longer offer seat belts, this is just as effective. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1171 For $50, I can magically make that obnoxious child behind you stop kicking your seat. 1.2405 0.05164 79 61 17 1
1172 I am here to bother you all flight long! 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
1173 and abracadabra - your legroom has disappeared! 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1174 A good steward never reveals when there is life-threatening turbulence! 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1175 Imagine a moment ago you were on this flight without any seats! Now for my next trick cabin space will become fully occupied and we will gate check your bag for free! 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1176 In the event of an emergency landing,we will all chant Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo! 1.2405 0.04839 79 60 19 0
1177 - And now, as you can see, in the same space there are thirty two rows instead of twenty eight. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1178 I'd pull a rabbit out of my hat, but he got added to the first class menu. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1179 Yes there’s magic in the air! Unfortunately we’ve been grounded indefinitely by air traffic control. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
1180 We told you there would be consequences for not putting your seats back to their full upright position. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
1181 For my next trick, I will make your legroom disappear! 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
1182 And for my next trick I'll make the person in the middle seat disappear 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
1183 The Captain asks that everyone repeat after me, "I believe I can fly." 1.2400 0.06532 75 62 8 5
1184 bibbidi-bobbidi-boo... your ears will now pop! 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
1185 Now that I've explained checked luggage, Suzy will explain your seat belts. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1186 Here at Frontier airlines your bags will magically reappear in an undisclosed location somewhere in the southern peninsula. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1187 Would everyone please check to see if there is a rabbit hiding under the seat in front of you. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1188 Bam! Now check the overhead, your bags are gone. 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
1189 And now for my final trick, I shall make even more legroom disappear. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1190 This is what happens on the other side of the curtain. Happy? 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1191 Fasten your seatbelts because this is going to be a magical flight! 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
1192 Abraca-baggage-be-gone! 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
1193 I'm going to stick this wand up your ass! 1.2391 0.06059 92 77 8 7
1194 And now we will go back in time to your scheduled arrival time. 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
1195 I come free with the flight - but for small fee - less than the baggage fee -I can disappear. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
1196 If you follow me to the toilet, I'll let you join the mile high magic club... 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1197 And for my next trick I will pull peanuts out of my hat! 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1198 Watch as all your leg room disappears 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1199 Well, folk, it looks like we're stuck on the runway for a few more hours, but the good news is . . . 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1200 Welcome to the only magical part of your flight! 1.2386 0.05826 88 72 11 5
1201 For my next trick, I'll make your anxiety *disappear* 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1202 Buckle up! I will now levitate this plane and transport it to Chicago! 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
1203 presto! now you think you have been served a full course meal 1.2386 0.05826 88 72 11 5
1204 Abracadabra wheels down! 1.2386 0.04847 88 68 19 1
1205 Be careful opening the overhead bins, items may have been transformed in flight 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1206 And when you awake your plane will be ready for take off. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1207 Abracadara...a package of five peanuts! 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1208 Presto! Your bags have disappeared. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
1209 With a touch of my wand. No COVID here. No COVID there.... 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
1210 With this magic wand I will upgrade your mind to business class. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
1211 i've always wanted to conduct in an airplane. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
1212 And now for my next trick, I'll make airplane food actually taste good. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
1213 And magically, you’ll get 50,000 points when you sign up for our sky card 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
1214 In the unlikely event of an emergency landing I will wave this wand 1.2376 0.05477 101 83 12 6
1215 Watch as I make our 2 hour delay go “poof!” 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
1216 And, that's how I get the kid to stop kicking your seat 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
1217 Voila! More legroom! Hahaha, just kidding. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
1218 Have a wand-erful flight, my Pretties! 1.2375 0.06225 80 66 9 5
1219 The pilot has had a heart attack , the copilot is drunk, No Worry, I Got This ! 1.2375 0.06225 80 66 9 5
1220 Good afternoon,I am your captain. Do you want to see this plane land itself? Abracadabra! 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
1221 My last trick concerns your luggage. 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
1222 And for my final trick your seat will expand to fit your bum. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
1223 Sorry, but making myself disappear is not an option. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
1224 I can’t give you more leg room, but I can give you baby legs. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
1225 Greetings, boys, girls and children of all ages, my name is Mister Dram-O'Meen, and today I'll help with air sickness. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
1226 No need for masks; we've made COVID magically disappear on on all flights. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
1227 Just be grateful I'm not doing my comedy! 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
1228 If you believe in magic, this flight will be enjoyable. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
1229 Ta da! Thanks to auto pilot I can now begin your in flight entertainment. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
1230 Watch you hot meal and extra leg room disappear! 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
1231 « We’ve moved to live entertainment, more carbon neutral » 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1232 ...and now I'll say the magic words and make the pilot re-appear. 1.2366 0.05999 93 78 8 7
1233 Who thinks I can't make your seats smaller? 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1234 Voila! Your luggage has mysteriously disappeared. 1.2366 0.05999 93 78 8 7
1235 ...and there goes your leg room. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1236 Now I shall remove the handles from your luggage. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
1237 There's no business class, like show business class. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
1238 Song and Dance Airlines proudly presents . . . a take off. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
1239 This plane weighs 175,000 pounds at take off. Do you really think it gets off the ground on aeronautics alone? Wingardium Leviosa! 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
1240 And for my next trick, I'll make flying enjoyable again! 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
1241 Would you like more leg room? Sorry that trick never works 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
1242 Crura aperta spatium 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
1243 And for my next illusion...more footroom. 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
1244 In case of an emergency pull this wand from under your seat and wish for either a parachute or use it as a flotation device 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
1245 For my next trick, an on-time arrival. 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
1246 Presto...a medium size black suitcase has just disappeared. 1.2358 0.04143 106 81 25 0
1247 When I say 'abracabra' you'll instantly switch places with the pilot. 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
1248 I will turn one of you into a First Class passenger.... 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
1249 A rabbit and doves, and I can't get a ham sandwich past security! 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
1250 For my next trick, I’ll make any last comfort disappear. 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
1251 Poof!... you're now floating in the air. 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
1252 You will all wake up when I count to three, and you will remember the flight turbulence as a happy romp in a bouncy castle. 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
1253 We like telling people this is the reason their luggage disappeared. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
1254 And for my final illusion, ladies and gentlemen, we will arrive at our destination on time. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
1255 This is located under your seat to be used when locating your luggage in baggage claim. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
1256 I can do anything but get your flight in on time. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
1257 Poof! Your legroom's been cut in half. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
1258 Good question, but no you will still need to file a missing bag claim at the service desk 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
1259 Ta-da! Your seat cushion is now a flotation device. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
1260 And,we will get you there,on time. 1.2346 0.06637 81 69 5 7
1261 Thank you for flying RYANAIR. One of you lucky folks will arrive at the same destination as your luggage. 1.2346 0.06400 81 68 7 6
1262 Do you want the vegetarian option or the rabbit? 1.2346 0.06400 81 68 7 6
1263 now to predict our chances for an on-time takeoff 1.2340 0.05542 94 77 12 5
1264 And for my next trick, I am going to land the plane from coach with my eyes closed. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1265 Being a pilot doesn’t pay as much as you think 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
1266 Ta Da, look out the window. We are leaving on schedule. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1267 Is *this* your safety card? 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
1268 Vaccine anyone? 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1269 Yes, normally I AM your pilot, but today, our inflight entertainment system is broken again. 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
1270 Daddy, isn't torture covered by the Warsaw Convention? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1271 And when I say "Emergency," you will be able to pull out both a life vest and a rabbit from under your seats. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1272 Before I make the flight crew reappear, it’s time to pass the hat. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1273 I'm making your baggage disappear 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1274 Thank you for flying "Magic Air' where flight is always on time and you will make your connecting flight 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1275 And now, more legroom. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1276 Now I will pull a rabbit from this hat. Watch closely.. even if you have seen this trick before, as some parts may have changed 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
1277 Pay no mind to the lack of man behind the curtain. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1278 And now...she won't kick your seat! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
1279 With a flick of my wand, we will simultaneously rise into the air. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
1280 You will sleep without calling for food or drink until we arrive at our destination. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
1281 In the event of an emergency, the compartment above you will pop open and a rabbit will fall out. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
1282 All together now...seatbacks up, tray tables locked. seatbelts on... 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
1283 I know most of you are used to flying Spirit. I promise we’re a more magical experience. 1.2329 0.06621 73 61 7 5
1284 What, did you really believe that this metal tube flies because of science? 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
1285 Well, you believed in magic when you packed your carry-on! 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
1286 ... and that's how you land a plane with magic. Now who wants Pringles? 1.2326 0.06117 86 72 8 6
1287 Magic is also why you no longer need masks. 1.2326 0.06117 86 72 8 6
1288 Presto! You're all in First Class! 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
1289 And in the event of turbulence or anything at all you find unsettling, I'll be happy to provide you with your very own emotional support balloon animal. 1.2326 0.06117 86 72 8 6
1290 I’m not in airplane mode yet. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
1291 Presto!" One more inch of leg room 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
1292 And for my final trick… I will make your legs disappear so as to make room for an additional row of seats. 1.2323 0.05529 99 82 11 6
1293 Behave yourselves or I'll put you in my hat with the rabbit. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
1294 And voila, the plane has vanished into thin air. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
1295 Can I have a couple of volunteers? 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
1296 The captain has asked if we can have a volunteer from the audience. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
1297 For my next trick Ill shut all the babies up. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
1298 And now for a small fee, I’ll make your luggage reappear. 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
1299 For my next trick, it’ll be $3 if you want a snack to appear. 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
1300 We’re testing out a new form of in-flight entertainment. 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
1301 Any one know how to find Detroit. The wand needs re charging 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
1302 And for my next trick, I’m going to make the brat in the seat behind you DISAPPEAR! 1.2317 0.06328 82 69 7 6
1303 Hmm, that didn't bring the pilot back. Let's try again. 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
1304 I'm going to turn everyone's mini pretzel bags into a real meal. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
1305 And now your lunch will… reappear! 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
1306 For my next trick, I’ll make your luggage arrive where it’s supposed to. 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
1307 For my next trick, I'm going to land the plane on time.... 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
1308 And now for you folks in coach I'll make the free beverages disappear 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
1309 Watch me pull a therapy pet out of my hat! 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
1310 Do you want a drink, a snack, or, a show? 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
1311 I will now reduce the dislocation in my right shoulder! 1.2308 0.04961 91 72 17 2
1312 Standing room tickets aren’t bought, they’re earned 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
1313 I hope he can make sure that our luggage is on this flight. 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
1314 And now, ladies and gentlemen, in a few moments, I will magically levitate us all into the thin air!" 1.2308 0.05651 91 75 11 5
1315 There are several emergency exits on this aircraft: forward, aft, and inside my vanishing tomb. 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
1316 And for my next trick, I’ll increase your fare while reducing your leg room! 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
1317 And for my next trip, I will make the pilot magically reappear in the cockpit! 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1318 Whatever you wish you can forget it. 1.2300 0.05660 100 84 9 7
1319 And now for my next trick I will produce something edible. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1320 Now pretend we take off on time. 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
1321 For my next trick, I shall make legroom disappear. 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
1322 I'm part of the airline's effort to increase leg room" Gerry Broderick, Milwaukee, WI 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
1323 Captive audiences are my favorite. 1.2299 0.06052 87 73 8 6
1324 AAAAND poof! your luggage is gone! 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
1325 Our in-flight entertainment budget has been reduced. 1.2299 0.05827 87 72 10 5
1326 I will now make your lost luggage reappear. 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
1327 And now I’ll make your online rate disappear. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1328 Abracadabra…more leg room! 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
1329 Surviving check-in, TSA and boarding may seem like enough magic, but just humor me a minute." 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
1330 For a slight upgrade fee, I will make your typical three hour international delay memory disappear ! 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
1331 Is there a doctor on board? 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1332 I will make this very plane fly dear passengers 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1333 Watch me pull a pilot out of my hat!” 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
1334 Poof, no more dignity. 1.2297 0.06538 74 62 7 5
1335 Presto chango, this is as good as it gets. 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
1336 Your blankets, leg room, and warm meals have disappeared. 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
1337 This next trick requires a verbal response from those of you seated in the emergency exit row. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
1338 He just wanted to get his emotional support rabbit on board 1.2289 0.06488 83 71 5 7
1339 Since we, at Cheapo Air, offer no streaming services to save 995 pounds, I'll be your entertainment for this five hour flight. 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
1340 And for my next trick: an appetite-filling bag of peanuts. 1.2289 0.06018 83 69 9 5
1341 Your luggage? Sure, I’ll just wave my magic wand. 1.2289 0.06018 83 69 9 5
1342 I kid you not, with one spell I can make this heavy metal tube fly through the air! 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
1343 And with just a quick wave of this wand,I can make your luggage disappear. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
1344 Not even I can make airline food edible. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
1345 And for my next trick, we’ll be departing… on time! 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
1346 And for my next trick, I’m going to make this plane depart on time! 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
1347 Why don't you come with me little girl, on a magic carpet ride? 1.2286 0.05055 70 54 16 0
1348 We will only be stuck on the runaway for three magical hours! 1.2286 0.05449 70 55 14 1
1349 I suspect this is a joke at the expense of flight attendants; fuck that. Flight crews are overworked, underpaid, overexposed to every pathogen floating around. The airlines treat them like garbage and with the same contempt they have for passengers. 1.2286 0.05783 105 90 6 9
1350 And for my next trick, I will fit at 7 foot tall man into a seat with only 30 inches of legroom! 1.2286 0.06490 70 58 8 4
1351 Ta-dah! Your luggage has vanished! 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1352 The captain says this works best for gaining altitude... 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1353 Now close your eyes and imagine your luggage arriving at your destination. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1354 Alaca-no-more-crying-babies-zam 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
1355 We're already there! 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
1356 It takes magic to depart on time 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
1357 And now, out of thin air, I will conjure a $75 fee. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
1358 Nothing up my sleeve except injection site redness and swelling. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
1359 I will now fasten all of your seatbelts. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
1360 In the event of an emergnecy, please do magic on yourself first then assist others with your magic. 1.2278 0.06483 79 67 6 6
1361 I call this trick “the illusion we are taking off on-time!” 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
1362 Who needs safety features when we have magic? 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
1363 And for my next act, I will assure that no child will kick a seat, cry, or need a diaper change for the duration of the flight. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
1364 ...and for my next trick, we're all going to enter the Bermuda Triangle. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
1365 I wear this in hopes of deterring angry customers from punching me in the face again. I just want to do my job. 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
1366 And now, 5 hours of your life will vanish before your eyes. 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
1367 Thank you for flying Budget Airways! Now who wants to see their dignity reappear? 1.2273 0.05766 88 73 10 5
1368 And for my next trick, I'll make the landing gear disappear! 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
1369 I'm going to give you all 2 more inches of foot room...I hope this works! 1.2273 0.04775 88 69 18 1
1370 And with a wave of the wand all your seats have returned to an upright position! 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
1371 Ladies and gentleman, I just made all the food trays disappear! 1.2273 0.04775 88 69 18 1
1372 Your In-Flight entertainment is meee 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
1373 Just wait till you see how I stick the landing! 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
1374 The passengers could not have hoped for a more entertaining or murderous hijacker than Bwren. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
1375 Watch now as I make your will to live disappear! 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
1376 For my next trick your seat belts must be fastened. 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
1377 It's called levitation. Your belief in my powers keeps us aloft. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
1378 Of course, all planes run on magic anyway. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1379 Watch as I make legroom disappear. 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
1380 Next, I shall make us fly. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
1381 Now watch your checked baggage disappear. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1382 Don't make my bags disappear! 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1383 I put a spell on you,and now you’re poliiiiiiiite. 1.2262 0.05952 84 70 9 5
1384 Who wants the pilot to reappear? 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
1385 My right arm is broken!!! 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
1386 You'll only wish we sawed you in half 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1387 … and now I'll make your luggage disappear. Oops, too late. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1388 My next trick will cost you $35 or 3,500 frequent flier miles 1.2262 0.05952 84 70 9 5
1389 And with a wave of my wand, you're still in coach! 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
1390 We are experiencing a staff shortage , so we multi task on all our economy flights. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1391 Poof! Now no one can recline their seat onto your lap! 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
1392 Alakazam! Lunch will taste like chicken AND fish! 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
1393 Who needs wings? 1.2250 0.06156 80 67 8 5
1394 By this magic wand, I shall disappear until landing" 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
1395 And now my best almost impossible trick - We will be landing on time!!! 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
1396 But clearly our left engine is even better at making doves disappear. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
1397 For my next trick I will make you believe you are comfortable. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
1398 All waits over two hours on the tarmac now come with entertainment. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
1399 And your checked bags have disappeared. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
1400 Well, actually I flunked out of flight school. But as your copilot, I have extra skills that should comfort you!" 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
1401 Aren't you the pilot?" 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
1402 Would this 600,000-pound death machine be flying through the air if we didn't have MAGIC? 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
1403 Anything else needs to fit into the overhead bin? 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
1404 My next trick? After we land we are going to somehow force another seat into your row! 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
1405 Tada! Inflight movies not available. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
1406 For my next trick, an entire flight without a deeply disturbing smartphone scene. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
1407 I will now magically double your fares. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
1408 It’s the only way everything fits in the overhead bins. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
1409 For my next trick, I'll make your dignity disappear. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
1410 it'll be a magical journey 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
1411 Click your heels twice and we will reroute to Kansas. 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
1412 I can’t turn this into a first class cabin or get rid of the middle seat but I can change the cookies for nuts! 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
1413 And just like Oprah's magic: YOU get bonus leg room; and YOU get free wine; and YOU get a pet bunny (check under your seat). 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
1414 And, with just one swipe of my magic wand, I will make airline food enjoyable 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
1415 Now that I have made you believe you have enough elbow room, we will be serving a hot meal! 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
1416 ...and now I will make the pilot reappear. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
1417 Sorry, there is no magic powerful enough to make that kid stop kicking the back of your set. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
1418 Presto Chango! It’s not turbulence! It’s a massage chair! 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
1419 Nothing up my sleeve, you will sleep… 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
1420 And for my next trick, never before accomplished, I will get us off the ground on schedule! 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
1421 We'll have a happy landing! 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
1422 You're in Economy, you were expecting Hugh Jackman? 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
1423 Abracadabra, your food is now magically delicious!! 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
1424 Three wishes are included in your ticket price 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
1425 At Abracadabra, we aim to restore the magic of air travel. 1.2235 0.05888 85 71 9 5
1426 And for my next trick, I’ll make your legroom dissapear! 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
1427 And for my next trick, the airline will charge you an entertainment fee. 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
1428 And now I'll make any sense of confort disappear. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
1429 Listen to my voice. We do not have engine trouble. The sound you hear is your neighbor snoring. We do not have engine trouble... 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
1430 Welcome to American Airlines Got Talent! 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
1431 Et voila! The inflight meal gone forever! 1.2234 0.05691 94 79 9 6
1432 Your bags have disappeared! For 20 bucks, they can reappear! 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
1433 …and that’s how oxygen masks appear! Now, two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left, and two Wrights made an airplane… Am I right, people!? Don’t forget to tip your server. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
1434 And voila! Your checked bags are now in Phoenix. Enjoy your stay in Seattle. 1.2233 0.05332 103 86 11 6
1435 The captain would like to know if anyone is really good at making wishes. 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
1436 Now watch me make your luggage disappear. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1437 Our flight time will be approximately two hours but seem much longer. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1438 For my next trick, I'll make the crying baby in 11b stop crying. 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
1439 If you see something, say something 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1440 Abracadabra! We made your bags disappear. 1.2222 0.06086 81 68 8 5
1441 For my next trick, I will turn tiny bags of mini-pretzels into lobster rolls. 1.2222 0.06334 81 69 6 6
1442 I am practicing for an upcoming audition and need a captive audience. 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
1443 First class comes with everything you could wish for. 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
1444 I found that people actually listen to the safety instructions when I do this. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
1445 One, Two, Three, We arrived. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1446 Harry Potter Lives! 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1447 So you want to know about the disappearing frequent flier miles? 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1448 In the event of an emergency, a rabbit will appear in front of you and become your personal comfort animal. 1.2222 0.05648 90 75 10 5
1449 For a small fee, we are now happy to saw you in half and double your leg room. 1.2222 0.04969 81 64 16 1
1450 And for my next trick... Your bags will magically appear on the luggage carousel on time and undamaged! 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
1451 And for tonight's in flight entertainment we have... 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
1452 What can I conjure up for you, little lady? 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
1453 And THAT'S how you get a rollerboard in the overhead compartment! 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
1454 My automatic pilot said I could try a new trick... 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1455 And for my next trick I will get everyone to understand what wheels first means in the overhead bins. 1.2222 0.06086 81 68 8 5
1456 Take out a credit card, any credit card! 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
1457 My tricks are non-stop and I work for peanuts. 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
1458 Legroom can neither be created nor destroyed, so we just convert it into other more useful forms of energy, like magic and anger! 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
1459 And he had left his cockpit... 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
1460 Behold ! …the flying stick ! 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
1461 Watch me make the kid behind you kicking your chair disappear. 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
1462 Look carefully at my wand and you will stop caring that the seats were moved even closer to one another than the last time you flew. 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
1463 Presto; Less seat space, Less leg room! 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
1464 I'm here to reschedule your flight. 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
1465 "Levitation is my specialty, but I'm still working on getting to cruising altitude. 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
1466 For my next trick, I'll make your ears pop! 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
1467 And should you become unruly, know that this wand doubles as a cattle prod. 1.2208 0.06303 77 65 7 5
1468 Your crew is on a stage in Las Vegas. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
1469 Have to practice somewhere! 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
1470 I'm just wild about Harry ! ... 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
1471 Wanna see a magic landing? 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
1472 You are now in first class 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
1473 Please use your own magic wand before assisting others 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
1474 One more try to get the pilots back for the landing. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
1475 And for my next trick, I'll take away what dignity remains. 1.2206 0.06574 68 57 7 4
1476 . . . and the Prime Rib comes rare, medium, and . . . 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
1477 A little bit of column A, a little bit of column B! 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
1478 Presto! My luggage now takes up the entire overhead bin! 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
1479 We're leaving 15 minutes late, and presto! We're arriving 15 minutes early. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
1480 And now, I will make your checked luggage disappear 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
1481 When I wave this wand, each seat will be three inches wider. 1.2198 0.05806 91 77 8 6
1482 And voila! Your legroom is gone. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
1483 Say “Abracadabra” and the Wi-Fi will work seamlessly! 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
1484 ...and hey presto, your lugage has disappeared. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
1485 In lieu of movies on this aircraft, I'll be entertaining you with a few magic tricks. I've already made your baggage disappear! 1.2195 0.06017 82 69 8 5
1486 For my next trick, I'll be turning a frozen shoe sole into our dinner service entree. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
1487 And just like that… I will make your luggage disappear. 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
1488 Can you check under your seats for a rabbit? 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
1489 Abracadabra! We’ll take off and land on time, that baby won’t cry, your luggage will….ha ha ha 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
1490 … and now, to answer the questions about ‘what keeps this big plane in the air…’ 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
1491 I've magically cut your legroom in half, and now I'll make your check-in luggage disappear! 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
1492 We like to call it our magical, mystical tour! 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
1493 This was easier than getting open-mic slots. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
1494 And unless you have a better explanation. That is how an airplane flies. 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
1495 Poof! We're in Pittsburgh. 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
1496 For my next trick, I'm going to throw this child out of the window! 1.2192 0.06542 73 62 6 5
1497 In case you were wondering how this things stays in the air. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
1498 Abracadabra… Alakazam! We are officially duty-free! 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1499 I’ll cut the doves loose in a minute. I call it The Miracle of Flight. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1500 Welcome to Dirt Cheap Airlines. My name is Tarmac the Magician. I am your entertainment in lieu of movies. 1.2188 0.05381 96 80 11 5
1501 For my next illusion, I’ll make ONE of your checked bags reappear! 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
1502 Abracadabra, Bernoulli's principal is now a scientific fact. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
1503 Sorry, TSA confiscated the rabbit in my hat 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
1504 My next trick is turning on the seatbelt sign! 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
1505 What did you think was keeping us up here? 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
1506 Dead engine ! No problem. This should do the trick. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
1507 This plane travels at Warp Speed so we will be in Los Angeles in four minutes. 1.2179 0.06228 78 66 7 5
1508 Not only will we take off on time but your baggage will be at your destination. Just kidding! 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
1509 So that’s how the luggage always disappears. 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
1510 And now, I will work the strongest illusion of all, making you enjoy this trip! 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
1511 Billy sit down before you get us kicked off the plane 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
1512 Now, watch closely as we fly over the Bermuda triangle... 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
1513 Welcome aboard. It's just me! 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
1514 Watch me pull a drunk and disorderly passenger out of my hat! 1.2179 0.06490 78 67 5 6
1515 I'm your flying fairy and I've got the magic wand to prove it. 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
1516 Now we continue with autopilot 😁 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
1517 The takeoff was great and for my next trick the plane will land itself without a pilot" 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
1518 We will now be magically travelling through time, over the dateline. 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
1519 My first trick is to stop that child sitting behind you from kicking the back of your seat. 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
1520 And voila! The flight will now be departing 7:39… this evening! 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
1521 Ta da! No more middle seat! 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
1522 Due to recent Supreme Court decisions, we are no longer allowed to provide you with life vests. In the unlikely event of a water landing, 1.2174 0.06486 69 58 7 4
1523 For my next trick, airplane food that tastes good. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
1524 And for my next magical trick, I'll put your luggage on a flight to Ulaanbaatar! 1.2174 0.06486 69 58 7 4
1525 For my next trick, I'll pull a comfort support rabbit from under my hat 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
1526 And for my next trick, I'll make your carbon footprint disappear! 1.2174 0.05747 92 78 8 6
1527 At the count of three,your seat will turn into a lay-flay bed and the caviar service will commence. 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
1528 On the count of three I will attempt to land this plane. 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
1529 I'm here for the Berkowitz bar mitzvah. 1.2174 0.07113 69 60 3 6
1530 And, poof - all your luggage is going to Grand Rapids! 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
1531 Nothin’ up mah sleeve…no peanuts, cookies, or snacks of any kind. 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
1532 ABRACADABRA! For a $7 up-charge you can see my amateur magic act! 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
1533 watch you're oxygen masks will magically appear as we hurdle toward the ground. 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
1534 Who said flying isn’t as much fun as it used to be? 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
1535 Welcome to Spirit Airlines! My name is Jeff and I'll be conducting your séance this flight. 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
1536 You have been upgraded to broom closet class where all your leg room complaints will be magically ignored!! 1.2174 0.06807 69 59 5 5
1537 And, presto, now your bags are in Dallas! 1.2174 0.06486 69 58 7 4
1538 And if you check, you’ll find that your luggage is now gone 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
1539 And wah-lah, no pilot.” 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
1540 Abracadabra! I'll make your airsick bag reappear! 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
1541 When you wake, that feeling in your back will be a deep tissue massage. 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
1542 For my next trick, I shall give you the exact same amount of legroom! 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
1543 Tray tables up, seats forward, seat belts fastened, and LEVITATION! 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
1544 I'm in luck! They can't figure out how to play the movie. 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
1545 Even though you folks were too cheap to pay for a movie, this airline has graciously allowed you to be entertained by me ! 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
1546 You get an upgrade! You get an upgrade! 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
1547 Welcome to Houdini Airlines, where we have business class, economy class, and magic class. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
1548 Maybe he'll pull an on-time arrival out of his hat? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
1549 In the event of a water landing, the plane will — voila! — turn into a boat. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
1550 And your luggage will arrive as planned 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
1551 I'm here to enhance the fun . .an anti Randarian . .who won't carry on .. .. if a nazi attendant pinches a bun . . 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
1552 Just look here and… poof… no memory of your flight from hell. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
1553 And instead of having a food service, you have me, Magic Tom to keep you amused for the next 6 hours. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
1554 See this free meal? ... Gone! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
1555 Now, I will return us to the magical days of airplane travel!!! 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1556 And now I'll make oxygen masks seemingly appear from nowhere... 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
1557 And for my next trick I’ll land it blindfolded ! 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1558 And now, watch me pull an actually edible snack out of my hat. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1559 'This airline isn't so bad--sure, the entertainment isn't amazing, but the jugglers in baggage handling were fine with three bags a person, and the mime at the ticket counter never said anything about my support balloon animal.' 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1560 For my next trick, I will pretend like I don't know that absolutely everyone already knows how to buckle a safety belt. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
1561 a new take on inflight entertainment 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
1562 And now, defying all the laws of physics, common sense, and self-preservation, this plane will lift off the ground and hurtle through the sky. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
1563 Ta-Da! Your leg room has disappeared. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
1564 If you fuck with me you'll be sorry. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
1565 I hear he started this act so that he could get his pet rabbit certified as a service animal. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
1566 If the Karen won’t exit the aircraft, then…avada kedavra 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
1567 Abracadabra! 123! This is how to sit in your seats! Listen to me! 1.2152 0.05885 79 66 9 4
1568 Yes, the Irish attendants are just a little different.. 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
1569 And "presto," the leg room, free drink, and snacks disappear! 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
1570 And for my next trick, I'm going to summon an ontime departure out of Newark 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
1571 Pick a safety card, any safety card… 1.2152 0.05885 79 66 9 4
1572 And now, watch as I make all your luggage disappear! 1.2152 0.05885 79 66 9 4
1573 Any volunteers? Maybe the crying baby in 4B? 1.2152 0.05885 79 66 9 4
1574 And for all of you in coach… I will now make your leg room disappear. 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
1575 And abracadabra… a bag of pretzels you don’t want! 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1576 ...and in the magical event of a "water landing"... 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
1577 The real trick is going an entire flight without a baby crying. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
1578 And now for our greatest trick, actually landing the plane. 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
1579 Abracadabra, Autopilot! 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
1580 With this wand I can make you all sober and well-behaved. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1581 And for this next trick all of your luggage will magically be rerouted to Detroit 1.2143 0.05475 98 83 9 6
1582 I am here to explain what to do in the case of a water landing. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
1583 Sirs and madams, a mere donation to keep the child from crying. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1584 I am the magician who made the food and service disappear overnight! 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
1585 And for my next act, I will make your legroom disappear. 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
1586 and now…I will shift the baggage in your overhead compartment right before your very eyes. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1587 Federal regulations require that you politely watch my magic act for the duration of the flight. 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
1588 You can have anything but leg room, free luggage, free beverage, free seat selection, or any personal dignity. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
1589 Rabbit or dove sir?” @aaamanda 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1590 Hey, passengers, watch me pull an upcharge out of my hat! 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
1591 For my next trick, all your luggage will disappear. 1.2135 0.05412 89 74 11 4
1592 I will now grant everyone's wish to have both an aisle & window seat. 1.2135 0.04651 89 71 17 1
1593 You're carry-on will disappear with your luggage! 1.2135 0.05412 89 74 11 4
1594 And for my next trick, I’ll make this child cry for the next 3 hours. 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
1595 All aboard for the Magical Misery Tour! 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
1596 Those bags of yours at baggage claim… he presto…gone. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
1597 What were you expecting? The cast of Cats? 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
1598 I will now make the passenger sitting next to you, to whom you don't wish to speak, disappear! 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
1599 For you in-flight meal this evening, we offer a choice of rabbit or dove. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
1600 The airline calculated that I'm cheaper than offering seat-back entertainment systems. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
1601 I can get us there in the blink of an eye. 1.2133 0.06379 75 64 6 5
1602 At the count of three, we will be delayed another three seconds! 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
1603 This is just for disabling the Wi-Fi. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
1604 Hi folks, now you'll find out why we're so cheap. 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
1605 And for my next trick, I will make your patience disappear. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
1606 And poof! Your luggage is back in Newark. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
1607 When I say abracadabra, you will think you have enough leg room… 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
1608 Ok, let's say it louder, "I believe we can fly!" 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
1609 I can change your destination to any place in any nation 1.2128 0.05427 94 79 10 5
1610 FYI: I WISH THE TOILETS WERE WORKING… 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
1611 Due to rising fuel prices the airline is investing in sustainable and responsible alternatives. Now everyone repeat after me, “Wingardium Leviosa!” 1.2125 0.06083 80 68 7 5
1612 And now for the presentation for the "Fear of Flying" workshop. One participant asked, "How can something so massive and heavy take to the air?" The answer: It's magic! 1.2125 0.06338 80 69 5 6
1613 And now, for my next trick, I will make your legroom disappear. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
1614 Using nothing but the power of my magical wand, I am going to put out the fire in the starboard number three when I count to three! 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
1615 No, but I did move them to the rear of the plane. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
1616 This is your captain speaking. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
1617 And now it's time for a little flight of hand... 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
1618 And now we will reprice your seats. 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
1619 And remember, I can make your luggage disappear. 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
1620 And next, I'll make your luggage disappear! 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
1621 I'll disappear the first one who throws a punch. 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
1622 How did you think this baby stayed in the air? 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
1623 Who wants to be the pilot and fly this plane? 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
1624 Voila, more leg room! Haha 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
1625 My mother would love this! 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
1626 And now for my most amazing magic trick, I will give you lower fares, more leg room, on-time flights and stellar service. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
1627 I'll be your inflight entertainment today 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
1628 In case of emergency, just wish upon a star 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1629 Even my wand is in the full and upright position. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1630 Tada! Your luggage will now reappear in the Maldives! 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1631 So in other words: I'll need to see your ticket, sir. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1632 Is there a doctor on board? I've cut my assistant in half. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1633 On the count of three,air travel will be fun again. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1634 No, no magic in First Class. They pay to keep me away. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1635 And just like that *poof*! COVID isn't contagious anymore! 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1636 ...and POOF, the plane disappears. 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
1637 And for my next trick, I’ll make you pay $30 for a bag of peanuts. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1638 … And just like that you’ve gone from economy to first class! 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1639 And for my next trick, I'll make that baby disappear! 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1640 Apple Juiceius, Appeariaccio! 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1641 Fasten your seat belts - I'll say 'hocus pocus' and the plane disappears. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1642 Face it. It’s the only way I’ll keep you all happy between here and Fort Lauderdale. 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
1643 Can you please make the crying child behind me disappear? 1.2113 0.04879 71 56 15 0
1644 At the count of three, I bring you Amelia Earhart 1.2111 0.05585 90 76 9 5
1645 And if any of you opens a window on this red-eye, they'll get a little tap from the magic stun wand. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
1646 Next folks you will fly through the air at 30,000 ft in an upholstered chair 1.2110 0.04337 109 88 19 2
1647 And now I’ll make the pilot reappear… 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
1648 I can get us there in the blink of an eye, or we can sit for 6 hours on the tarmac - your call. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
1649 On the count of three your checked baggage will land in… Canada! 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
1650 Sorry, it doesn’t do legroom. 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
1651 . . . and that, ladies and gentlemen is how aeroplanes fly. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
1652 Unfasten your seatbelts!: we're entering the bouncy castle portion of your fun flight! 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
1653 And now I will make you levitate. 1.2105 0.05374 95 80 10 5
1654 You can fly! You can fly! You can fly! 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
1655 Abracadabra! Now it's safe to open the bins because they are empty! 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
1656 Pick an airlines safety instruction card, any airlines safety instruction card. 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
1657 For my next trick I will make your expectations of arriving on schedule disappear. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
1658 And now for my next trick, a completely stress free flight or I could Turn your child into a rabbit. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
1659 And just like that, we'll have a smooth landing. 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
1660 I can accept tips, but no cash 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
1661 Yes, you have entered the nexus of employer desperation for warm bodies and the thriving gig economy. For my next trick, your dissatisfaction will be silenced by your awareness of the futility of protest. 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
1662 And now--or in 45 minutes--I will make a small glass of ginger ale appear. 1.2099 0.06013 81 69 7 5
1663 And now, I will magically increase leg room for the first two rows. 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
1664 For my next trick- getting this baby to shut up. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
1665 At the count of three,you will no longer feel hungry for the meal we aren’t serving you. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
1666 ...and just. like that all the children under two have disappeared 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
1667 Voila! I've just made your luggage magically appear in Schenectady! We'll be landing in Akron shortly. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
1668 ..... and that's the magic of flying! 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
1669 You're in luck today with an all-gay flight crew. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
1670 I told you we should've taken the silent car. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
1671 Now watch as I make the pilots reappear. Presto... Presto... PRESTO! 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
1672 I know a lot about ‘cabin pressure’. I’m here all week. 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
1673 We don't have a movie, so: time for magic! 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
1674 For my last trick before landing, all your carry-ons in the overhead compartments will be in the same position as you had placed them before takeoff. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
1675 And now ladies and gentlemen, I will make your luggage disappear... forever. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
1676 And for my next trick-- creating legroom and the chance at a beverage 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
1677 And whoever guesses where we will end up landing gets an extra bag of nuts. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
1678 And for my next trick, the pandemic is over! 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
1679 For my next trick, I'll make our pilot disappear. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
1680 More legroom? I'm not a miracle worker! 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
1681 one, two, three..and covid doesn’t exist!” Return to pre-pandemic flying feels like magic! 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
1682 Welcome to Wizard Air. Tap your heels together three times for Buffalo. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
1683 Did someone ask for a second bag of cashews? 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
1684 Et voila! Your child will now behave their self for the entire duration of the flight! Save that one meltdown, wait no, two, or maybe three… 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
1685 This is the captain. Listen up. Pay attention to the flight attendant’s emergency instructions or he’ll turn you into a flight attendant too. He was a passenger on a previous flight so stay awake. 1.2088 0.05303 91 76 11 4
1686 No mask only on the plane, ideal for stage artists... 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
1687 Welcome to Magic Air's pilotless airlines 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
1688 well due to a shortage of pilots this magic wand is now our best chance of reaching our destination without an eight hour delay 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
1689 And for my next trick I will appear to be a happy and pleasant employee! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
1690 Obnoxicus Ductapeia. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
1691 And, in case of an emergency, You will use the exits to your right and left, while I disappear in a puff of theatrical smoke. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
1692 Poof. You now have legroom! 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
1693 Next, all the luggage in the overhead compartments will disappear. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
1694 The pilot called in sick this morning but don't worry. I will be in the cockpit. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
1695 The pilots have disappeared, but don’t worry, I found the rabbit. 1.2079 0.05324 101 86 9 6
1696 Please be careful when opening the overhead bin, as some items may have become YOUR CARD! 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
1697 This is a pilot program. He wants me to pull a landing gear out of my hat! 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
1698 And just like that, the pilot has disappeared. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
1699 I'm here to distract you from that child kicking the back of your seat! 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
1700 At the count of three, we'll be levitating above 30,000 feet. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
1701 We are now back in the 1950s so sit back and relax. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
1702 Watch as I pull a bag of peanuts out of my hat. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
1703 ....And now to attempt a trick you will hardly ever see these days -- we will land this plane on time! -- and your luggage will appear in the terminal!! 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
1704 Now, watch carefully as your legroom continues to disappear. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
1705 Just wait. The clown from business class will join me in a minute. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
1706 And now I will summon a bottled water. Those of you who want a real one, please give the cabin crew $12.00. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
1707 FAA rules prohibit charming babies, but they say nothing against putting you two into a 5 hour coma. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
1708 And now, for our next trick, we will make your luggage disappear. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
1709 And for my next trick, a ticket to where your luggage is actually going!” 🪄 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
1710 And with this, may your bags arrive at your final destination 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
1711 Well, that's my time, I have a show on another plane in a minute. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
1712 And for my next trick, I'm going to need four or five volunteers to help me subdue the drunk in seat 23D! 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
1713 In-Flight Entertainment.....Movies not Included 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
1714 Relax and enjoy your flight while we wait on the tarmac. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
1715 Please Roscoe open the bin I have to land the plane 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
1716 ‘Harry Potter and the Plan B Flight Entertainment’ is about to start. 1.2073 0.05686 82 69 9 4
1717 For first class only. Lapin a La Cocotte 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
1718 "Haha. No, sir...your connection is not in my hat. But I might have a tiny bag of pretzels and a third of a soda. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
1719 And, presto! Your leg room has disappeared. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
1720 Abracadabra it flies. We have no idea either. Sit back and relax, 1.2069 0.04664 87 70 16 1
1721 With any luck and some fairy dust we'll be taking off soon. 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
1722 We make Newark a wonderland! 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
1723 Voila! Your seats are now even smaller! 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
1724 In the unlikely event of a loss of air pressure in the cabin, masks will magically appear above your heads. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
1725 I'm Tim O'Toole, letting you know that whatever you ask for will require a magical intervention to fulfill. 1.2063 0.06463 63 53 7 3
1726 Once this flight gets going and you need something, I am going to make myself disappear! 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
1727 STUPIFY KARIN!!! 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
1728 Mr. Copperfield only works first class. 1.2062 0.04381 97 78 18 1
1729 To keep everyone nice and calm, I’ll entertain you with a few tricks 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
1730 I will now pull live snakes out of the overhead storage compartments! 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
1731 And now a good meal will appear! 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
1732 Have you seen a rabbit? 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
1733 For my next trick, I am going to saw all the passengers in Economy Class in half. It won't hurt a bit and you will find it more comfortable. 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
1734 For my next trick, I'm going to make the airplane disappear. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
1735 We go ‘Uppity Up Up - and then Downity Down Down …. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
1736 And now some very special magic, sit back and enjoy the flight. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
1737 In the event of an emergency, the hidden door overhead will open and this magic wand will drop down; use it to grant your wish to land safely. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
1738 Rabbit's gone, but you can have the chicken or the pasta. 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
1739 Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to distract you from your lingering climate guilt! 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
1740 Prepare to be dazzled with the magic of condescension! 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
1741 For a small additional fee, I will make the baby in the seat behind you disappear 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
1742 Chicken or beef 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
1743 Now for my next trick: The Disappearing Leg Room. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
1744 Aruba-cadabra! 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
1745 Let’s have a singalong, “Oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang.” 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
1746 The attempt at levity brought the whole plane down. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
1747 ...and for my next trick I will make human dignity disappear. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
1748 We pilots dress this way to make our passengers feel better. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
1749 I bet you didn’t think you could fit in there. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
1750 Voila! And just like that, your leg room disappears 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
1751 For my next trick, I will keep the oxygen flowing-even if the bag does not inflate... 1.2051 0.04602 78 62 16 0
1752 Your checked bags have now disappeared! 1.2051 0.06150 78 67 6 5
1753 It feels like we're at a middle school talent show. 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
1754 Hi. My name is David Copperfield. Now I'm going to make this plane disappear 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
1755 Hazzah! The child is asleep! Jokes, what can I get you ma'am? 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
1756 and now for my greatest magic trick....your luggage will arive on time!! 1.2051 0.05873 78 66 8 4
1757 I always wonder what his real job is. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
1758 Down on three. 1.2051 0.05873 78 66 8 4
1759 For my next trick I will make this entire theater levitate. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
1760 Voici d’avoir au Air Canada 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
1761 And in the event of a crash landing…. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
1762 More legroom? Unfortunately, there's no spell for that. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
1763 Poof! Your checked bags have disappeared! 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
1764 And when I tap you, it’s your turn to head to the slide 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
1765 No sir, I cannot put a Petrificus Totalus spell on that young lad kicking your seat. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
1766 Kazam! I'm back! Hey, you're the wrong audience! 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
1767 If ever off we lift,I command your belongings not to shift 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
1768 Pick a delay, any delay. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
1769 At least something’s in the air. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
1770 Welcome to Presto's Levitation Airlines where the final destination of your baggage is still up in the air! 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
1771 Tada! Your bags are now gone! 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
1772 And voila . . . when you land the suitcase will be gone! 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
1773 Your carbon footprint is zero! This flight would be on with or without you. 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
1774 How did you think this stays in the air - physics? 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
1775 I can’t bring back free check baggage with the wave of my wand, lady, but I can make your leg room go poof. 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
1776 The child behind you in NOT kicking your First Class seat…ILLUSION! 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
1777 And for my final trick, we’ll be arriving 10 minutes early at the gate 1.2034 0.06743 59 50 6 3
1778 I'm Henry, your pilot! 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
1779 And presto chango I will create leg room! 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
1780 Hold on tight for my next trick; the disappearing pilot! 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
1781 With a wave of my wand, you'll be delighted to be in Dayton. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
1782 Please direct your attention to the cabin crew, who will provide some in-flight entertainment 1.2031 0.06748 64 55 5 4
1783 In the event of an emergency landing, please place your own top hat on before assisting others. 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
1784 And for my next act an on-time flight. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
1785 Ta-da. No more hectored safety instructions. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
1786 Ladies & gentleman,it is I the Great In-flight Entertainment 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
1787 Abbra-ta-dabra! We're there! 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
1788 With a wave of my wand, this plane will lift off the ground ... assuming your seats are upright and tray tables stored. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
1789 On the count of three it’s like you have extra leg room and a seat upgrade! 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
1790 The captain has told me to try some magic 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
1791 Watch me pull a complimentary bag of peanuts out of my hat... 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
1792 Ladies and gentlemen! This is your captain speaking. It looks like my copilot is off his medication again. 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
1793 I'm dancin'and singin' on the plane 1.2029 0.06390 69 59 6 4
1794 Behold! As I declassify documents without a hat trick! 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
1795 Hello, my name is D.B. and I will be your hijacker today. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
1796 For just $49 you can upgrade to presto-legroom-cadabra. 1.2027 0.06079 74 63 7 4
1797 And on the count of three, all of your checked luggage will disappear! 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
1798 For $25 I'll make your fees disappear 1.2027 0.06376 74 64 5 5
1799 And magically your sense of time will disappear as we sit on the tarmac. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
1800 Good morning, I'm a flying sorcerer! 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
1801 The in-flight food may be awful but the entertainment is first rate. 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
1802 In case of emergency, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you. Ta-Da! 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
1803 Your seat cushion serves as a magic carpet in an emergency. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
1804 Well, okay. But a better trick would be to return to flying the plane, Mr. Potter. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
1805 When I say the magic words, we will all be able to fly! 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
1806 Watch me as I make in-flight service disappear! 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
1807 Poof! No more drink or food service. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
1808 Presto chango--now we're Delno. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
1809 And for my next act, I'll make in-flight service disappear 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
1810 And for my last trick before we fly over the Bermuda Triangle... 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
1811 In the event of a Potter landing, your seat cushion can be used as a levitation device. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
1812 sorry, the crew is a no-show but management assures me that this will work … so please fasten your seatbelts 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
1813 And now I will make myself disappear for the remainder of your flight. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
1814 Watch how I try, and try, to pull a reduced fare out of my hat! 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
1815 Peanuts or crackers? 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
1816 Our airline uses these when retrieving baggage. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
1817 Alacazam! WiFi is now available for purchase or free for our for airline card holders. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
1818 When I wave my wand one more time, everyone not wearing mask will vanish. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
1819 Hi, I'm Bobby the Angel, and you should have worn your masks. So, Welcome! 1.2022 0.05801 89 77 6 6
1820 You’ve been a great audience, only three more hours til takeoff on our magic carpet! 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
1821 And with a wave of my wand we will magically arrive at our destination without mentioning that we’re a tiiiiiiiiiiny bit short on fuel” 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
1822 You folks micro dosing tonight? 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
1823 And voila! You all have COVID. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
1824 For my next trick, I'm going to make your luggage disappear for three days. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
1825 After the merger with Spirit, *Poof* three inches of legroom have now disappeared. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
1826 And for my next trick, the stakes are mile-high! 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
1827 Abracadabra, your masks have disappeared!” 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
1828 Forget your seat width c’mon get happy… 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
1829 Our next stop: Somewhere Over the Rainbow 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
1830 There’s an upcharge to sit in the “No Magicians” section. 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
1831 At Illusion Air, you may not get snacks or drinks-or seats that recline, but you do get "moi" and my enchanting magic tricks! 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
1832 …and hey presto, no carbon footprint! 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
1833 I’m trying to find myself. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
1834 In the event of a water landing, your magician does act as a flotation device. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
1835 No pocus on this hocus. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
1836 And that is why my assistant is in the window and the aisle seats. 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
1837 Your eyes are getting heavy,you are falling into a deep sleep,and soon you begin to feel the soothing comfort and the gentle pulse of a warm lumbar massage kicking you intermittently and constantly for the next 4 hours. May I get you anything? 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
1838 Well they played until the titanic went down, how is this any different." - the 9/11 magician 1.2000 0.06651 65 56 5 4
1839 Free water and air if you guess correctly 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
1840 Remove the coin from your ear before removing the coin from the ear of anyone around you. 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
1841 An engine just failed , make a wish 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
1842 ...And for my next trick, I will make a 200 ton metal tube levitate 35,000 feet in the air. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
1843 And to open the emergency exits, just say the magic words.... 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
1844 I bet you didn't know that I'm the one levitating this plane. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
1845 Business class upgrade? No problem. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
1846 I’m here to tell you your luggage has disappeared! 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
1847 Well, you're in coach, so you can Abra-ca-get-it-yourself. 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
1848 The Captain has asked me to entertain all of you, granting anyone their last wish... 1.2000 0.07003 65 57 3 5
1849 Where does it itch? 1.2000 0.06296 75 65 5 5
1850 Hocus Pocus, when we fly, we like to stay up in the sky. Enjoy the rest of your flight, folks 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
1851 All together folks: We have not been sitting on the runway for thirty minutes. We have not been sitting on the runway for thirty minutes. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
1852 My last trick will give us a safe landing. 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
1853 And , presto, you leg room disappears! 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
1854 Frogs it is! I warned you not to spit on each other in front of the child. 1.2000 0.06003 75 64 7 4
1855 For only $49.95 we can transform the child to a nice Louis Vuitton. 1.2000 0.06006 80 69 6 5
1856 5 bucks to watch 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
1857 When you wake, it will be lunch time 1960. Order now. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
1858 For my first act, I will make the pilot appear! 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
1859 Tip me if you want to arrive safely 1.2000 0.06305 70 60 6 4
1860 No, I can't make tasty snacks for everyone at no charge; this is magic, not miracles. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
1861 Mechanic anyone? 1.2000 0.06003 75 64 7 4
1862 With a wave of this wand,I give you the strength to endure the indignities or air travel. 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
1863 For an additional fee I can make the toddler behind you disappear. 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
1864 I'm guessing you all know we're not in Kansas anymore. 1.2000 0.04650 75 60 15 0
1865 For twenty bucks I can make your luggage arrive at your destination. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
1866 I’m auditioning for a pilot episode. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
1867 Magicians beyond borders 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
1868 After the third screen reset attempt fails, this is the last hope… 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
1869 Behold, our brand new self-flying plane is ready for takeoff 1.2000 0.06003 75 64 7 4
1870 I don't know how drive a plane but I believe in magic! 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
1871 And now for my next trick,"The Levitating Airplane!" 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
1872 And then the oxygen mask will magically fall down.... 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
1873 And that's how aircraft fly. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
1874 I'll make the airplane smell disappear! 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
1875 ...and for my next trick,violence intenders will be turned into frogs! 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
1876 And...presto! The extra seat space you paid for is gone. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
1877 Who wants to see me pull a bag of pretzels from behind your ear. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
1878 Go ahead and hate *me* instead of each other. 1.1975 0.05937 81 70 6 5
1879 We can't take off until I've sprinkled everyone with pixie dust. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
1880 For my next trick, I will make the drink service disappear. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
1881 Abracadabra! Legroom disappear! 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
1882 And just like that…leg-room has disappeared. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
1883 Still... my magic cannot make this 14-hour flight anything approaching 'a nice flight' 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
1884 The Mile-High Club is a fantasy / You'll be lucky if you get a seat / That's not between a perv and a Karen / Now lock your lap belt and put your smile on 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
1885 Okay, then just pretend that you are flying. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
1886 Your luggage has magically dissapeared, but I will now take a rabbit out of the overhead compartment. 1.1975 0.05671 81 69 8 4
1887 If you think making the flight attendants disappear was a neat trick, watch while I make the pilot and co-pilot disappear. 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
1888 If this was first class, I'd be holding your card in my hand. 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
1889 By the end of this magic show, you won't just stop being afraid of a crash - you'll actively wish for one. 1.1974 0.06218 76 66 5 5
1890 As the captain announced, our WiFi is out. But have no fear: I’ve been getting into magic! 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
1891 And presto the peanuts have disappeared. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
1892 Abra cadabra no legroom. 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
1893 When I count to three you will wake up and no one will want to eat, drink or need to use the bathroom until we land in Chicago. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
1894 Can you make some of these new fees disappear? 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
1895 There's a reason no one has ever asked if there was a magician on board 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
1896 Voila! It fits. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
1897 For your comfort and safety, I'll now be making each seat as wide as they used to be. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
1898 And ouila, you are still in economy coach seating! 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
1899 Welcome to Hogwarts Air. Today's snack is whatever you wish! 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
1900 And poof! Your ears just popped 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
1901 And now, watch me make a baby scream for 3 hours. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
1902 Unless you can magically transport us to 1st class, please move on we are trying to sleep. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
1903 And for my next trick, make sure your seatbelts are securely fastened. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
1904 And with a flick of my wand, you'll feel the magic of flying in the 1930s. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
1905 Buckle your seatbelts. My next act is called: Turbulence. 1.1972 0.04755 71 57 14 0
1906 Yes folks, lowest prices in airline history so we do fly by magic. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
1907 Ta da! All your baggage is now going to other airports! 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
1908 Ladies and gentlemen. Wake up! I'm really the chief pilot in disguise." myoken@umassd.ed 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
1909 Finally! The part you have been sitting on the tarmac waiting for 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
1910 I'll be your attendant for the duration of this flight...forget about the lateness of the departure, the carry-on confusion and the changed seating arrangement...and the wait to get to the gate upon arrival, and forget the baggage carousel mix-up 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
1911 Would you like an upgrade to wizard class? 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
1912 Abracadabra! You have the flu! 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
1913 I’ve been making luggage disappear at this airline for years! 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
1914 No… we do not serve drinks or snacks anymore. But i do have prepared a magic trick! 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
1915 For my next trick I am going to make the food edible. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
1916 And just like that this all becomes first class.” 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
1917 For a small upgrade fee, I can make your legroom reappear. 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
1918 And voila’… there’s a rabbit flying the plane! 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
1919 How many checked bags did you have? 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
1920 Abracadabra ETA on schedule ! 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
1921 Prest-O, Change-O! All your cell phones will be one hour ahead as pass through the magical veil of MST! 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
1922 No, I’m afraid we’re unable to move you to a row with more legroom, but for a modest FAA approved fee, I can perform the same Economy Plus Illusion™️ I did for Mrs. Munson in the seat behind you. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
1923 They call me The Flying Sorcerer. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
1924 I'll make sure your luggage magically appears! 1.1970 0.04933 66 53 13 0
1925 For my next trick, an on-time landing. 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
1926 Come with me and you’ll be in a world of pure imagination…and we’ll take off on time and all eat hot meals. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
1927 If your plane gets lost, I am going to make sure your luggage arrives on time. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
1928 Today’s complimentary drink selection is whatever you wish! 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
1929 I will magically insert the metal fitting into the buckle of your seat belt. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
1930 The other airlines may have spirit, but we have magic! 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
1931 We made it through COVID 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
1932 Okay! The masks are gone! What's next? More leg room? 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
1933 Sorry for the flight delay. It's time for our song and dance program to make the time fly - maybe the plane will too. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
1934 Corporate said our customers want transparency, so I’ll be showing you how we get the plane to fly ✨ 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
1935 This is the prequel scene that didn’t air for the tv series Lost. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
1936 POOF You are now in economy seating 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
1937 Abracadabra! All connecting flights are cancelled. 1.1954 0.05626 87 75 7 5
1938 So, relax and sit back. We’ll have you in Hell in just about… what am I talking about? You’re already there. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
1939 PRESTO. Your leg room disappeared along with your luggage! 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
1940 I'm afraid the 'no amateur magician' option is for first class only" 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
1941 And just like that, I made all your reasonable flight expectations vanish. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
1942 And now I’ll make your leg room disappear.” 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
1943 I've made all your luggage disappear. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
1944 We all pretend it’s, “Science,” that makes this plane fly, but really, I just say, “Hocus Pocus,” wave the wand, and we get liftoff! Can I have a volunteer from the audience for the next part of the trick—landing the plane? 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
1945 If there is a change in cabin pressure,I will pull an oxygen mask out of my hat. Please secure your mask before assisting your child. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
1946 We know you think planes fly by magic anyways, so we figured we'd lean into it. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
1947 And presto! You are connected to in-flight wi-fi! 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
1948 Now watch as I put us back on the radar! 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
1949 Abracadabra- your legroom- POOF! 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
1950 Ta da....your pretzel packet fills you up and your seat feels roomy!" Heidi Roe, Myrtle Point, Or 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
1951 As a budgetary move, I’m the new in-flight entertainment. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
1952 Should the cabin experience sudden pressure loss, stay calm and believe in magic. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
1953 And for my next trick take a look at your leg room! 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
1954 Abracadabra you’re in First Class! 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
1955 Celine Dion’s working First Class 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
1956 With this wand I can make your reservation…disappear! 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
1957 And now for my next trick, we will actually take off without any further delays... 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
1958 Pillows,Donald? What’s the magic word? 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
1959 The items in the overhead bin have now magically shifted. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
1960 And for my next trick, watch 'customer service' vanish right in front of your eyes! 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
1961 And magically, there goes another 2 inches of leg-room. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
1962 When you wake up it will be Nov. 2024. Joe Biden is still the president and Donald Trump is still in jail. You’re welcome. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
1963 Bill was hoping his emotional support rabbit would come out of that hat at some point. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
1964 ''Abracadabra,your carry-on charge is back in your bag.'' 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
1965 ...and with a wave of my wand, all your checked bags are in a different city. 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
1966 For my first Trick...Imagine that you're "On Time..." 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
1967 And for my next trick...All children who refrain from kicking seatbacks on this flight shall receive a Toblerone! 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
1968 Honest, it's a life raft. 1.1944 0.06141 72 62 6 4
1969 No treats, just tricks. 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
1970 Presto an on time departure and two middle arm rests. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
1971 Imagine your legroom as leprechauns! 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
1972 For my next trick I will make your flight trouble free! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
1973 Before we takeoff, does anyone want an emotional support bunny? 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
1974 ...for my next trick, I will make all crying children disappear. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
1975 I would pull a rabbit out of my hat but he's busy dealing with a drunk back in coach. 1.1940 0.06464 67 58 5 4
1976 With this wand I will make your legroom disappear. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
1977 Accio Drink Cart! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
1978 And now for my magically sleep-inducing safety speech! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
1979 And for my next trick I'll have you landing on time. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
1980 Good evening. I just made the pilot disappear! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
1981 Flying at 33000 feet at 500 miles an hour we have decided that instead of life vests and oxygen masks a magic wand might be a better option. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
1982 Let's see if I can conjure up something for you to eat. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
1983 This will help distract you from your fear of flying! Enjoy the show for those who remember Blackson the magician I am not nearly as good! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
1984 And then your luggage will reappear, just like that! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
1985 Oh sure, anybody can fly a plane. But I can make those irritating people in row 10 disappear! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
1986 I will make a flight crew appear, maybe. 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
1987 With the pilot we’ve got, we’ll need a little magic 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
1988 And now for my magic trip. I will make this plane fly 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
1989 I have this great routine. It lasts several hours. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
1990 FOR MY NEXT TRICK I'LL MAKE THE SPACE IN FRONT OF YOU DISAPPEAR 1.1935 0.06438 62 53 6 3
1991 And watch closely as you connecting flight magically disappears! 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
1992 We love to fly and its shows. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
1993 And for my next trick I'll disappear all the small print to screw you out of frequent-flier mileage. 1.1935 0.06438 62 53 6 3
1994 The Engines are down 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
1995 And for my next trick I will pull a $13 tuna sandwich out of my hat! 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
1996 Just don't ask why we can't teleport you there. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
1997 Still there? Let me try again… 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
1998 Please call the Pilots union! 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
1999 And for my next trick, I will conjure up a bag of peanuts 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
2000 And now, I'm going to cut that crying baby in half. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
2001 Hi, I'm your pilot. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
2002 And just before we land, I' ll make your checked luggage disappear. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
2003 I can make your baby quiet all fly long! 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2004 And now . . . the trick of the disappearing luggage! 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2005 For my next Basic Economy trick, I will pull from this hat part of a rabbit. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2006 Now, was THAT the emergency exit you were thinking of? 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2007 Soda, snack or a magic trick perhaps? 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
2008 And now for my next trick, I'll increase your legroom by 1 inch! 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
2009 Ta Da...All the seatbelts are fastened, tray tables stored and seatbacks are forward. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
2010 And now, for my next trick, I will make this plane fly! 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
2011 On the count of three...you will enjoy this flight! 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
2012 Abracadabra, your luggage has made it onto the flight. 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
2013 "Welcome to Hocus-Pocus Airlines!" 1.1923 0.05787 78 67 7 4
2014 If you cause a ruckus you will be sprinkled with fairy dust! 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
2015 And now, I’ve made your checked baggage magically disappear! 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
2016 I was supposed to re-appear on the plane to Cleveland! 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
2017 We are delighted to entertain you when the plane is in its second hour on the runway. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2018 Close your eyes and tap your heels three times and say "There's no place like Martha's Vineyard" 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2019 Chicken, fish or rabbit? 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2020 And PRESTO! Now only you two will hear the incessant crying! 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2021 For my first trick, we will depart on time. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2022 Now, I'll make the kicking child behind you disappear. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2023 Magic is part of Flight Scheduler training. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2024 With a wave of my magic wand you will feel very sleepy and wake up happy and satisfied when we have arrived at our final destination. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2025 Prestodigitation or on time to your destination? 1.1918 0.05740 73 62 8 3
2026 And for my next trick, I will now magically devalue your frequent flyer miles. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2027 Your seat numbers tell me your departure was New York with a final destination of Chicago. Your baggage, however, is heading for Honolulu, Hawaii . . .. Just kidding! 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2028 Are you interested in our offer today, a magic Pie in the Sky? 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2029 Dude is afraid of magic 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2030 I'm going to attempt to pull a pilot out of my hat. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2031 OK, Which is the one trick I can’t guarantee.? Water into wine, Bologna into steak, or an on time landing.”Guess 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2032 And for my next trick, I will now erase your memory from the meal you just had. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2033 And for my next trick, I’ll make the pilot disappear 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2034 I will go back to the cockpit if someone would just volunteer for my next trick! 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2035 I'm now going to make myself disappear for the rest of the flight. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
2036 For my next trick, I will find yet another way to take $50 from your wallet. 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
2037 Oh don’t worry, the plane is on autopilot. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
2038 I will now pull an emotional support rabbit out of my hat. 1.1912 0.06375 68 59 5 4
2039 Last call for the mile-high magical experience. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
2040 Ta-dah! And for my next trick, I will disappear into the first class lavatory 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
2041 And hey Presto! You'll never see your bags again. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
2042 Now, for your in-flight entertainment... 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
2043 It likes you. You get to choose your beverage. 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
2044 Magic: this plane is pilot-less. Sherie Neufeld Surbaugh@ku.edu 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
2045 And in the event of a nosedive, magic wands will fall from the overhead compartments for any wishes you may want to make. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
2046 And now, to make more legroom fly out of my hat ... 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
2047 Who said all the magic is gone out of air travel? 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
2048 I need verbal confirmation that you are willing and able to be my assistant. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
2049 Let's close our eyes and pretend we're not connected to a long beanstalk that flies us through the air. 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
2050 And I can make it land. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
2051 Please don’t saw our plane in half. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
2052 Sorry, I can only magic water or soda outside of the first class section 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
2053 ... and now, with a wave of my wand, we'll be on time... 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
2054 Trust me, your clothes won't be at the baggage claim 1.1910 0.05507 89 77 7 5
2055 Say the magic word and you’ll be in First Class! 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2056 I will now attempt to make the pilot return. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
2057 Thus we traveled in Amtrak. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2058 In the event of a decompression, a rabbit will automatically appear in front of you. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
2059 And now, for my next trick, a flight with no drama, except mine. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
2060 ...and when I snap my fingers, you'll be at La Guardia, feeling refreshed and happy! 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
2061 For my first trick, I've made the middle seats disappear. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2062 For my next trick, I’ll upgrade everyone to first class. Just say the magic word: your credit card number. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
2063 Don’t worry folks, every magic trick keeps the wings of the plane 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
2064 I got you onboard, so you now have two more wishes. 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
2065 And for my next trick,we 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
2066 And for my next trick, I’ll make all the perks of air travel disappear. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
2067 For my next trick I will make us all fly! 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
2068 And we’re actually going to land 15 minutes early 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
2069 For my final illusion, I will return my hat to it’s locked and upright position. I hope you enjoyed our in-flight entertainment. I must get back to flying the plane. 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
2070 For my next trick I shall make your checked luggage disappear! 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
2071 Expanding leg room is not within my bag of tricks. 1.1897 0.05193 58 47 11 0
2072 Now, repeat after me, 'I will float if we land in the ocean.' 1.1897 0.05193 58 47 11 0
2073 And now, right before your eyes--although you won't personally be able to use it--legroom. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2074 I was told there would be complimentary snacks, not acts. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2075 Well, the airline did say that their flight crew was amazing. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2076 And on the count of three - the baby will be me! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2077 Next, I’ll make the seat-kicker behind you disappear! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2078 My wand’s name is Rod, you handsome devil! And look how excited he is to meet you! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2079 We’ll be levitating at 38,000 feet today. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2080 Now watch me as I make your leg room disappear. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2081 At this point in the flight, we now invite our Platinum Globalist passengers to pick a card, any card. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
2082 The bad news is the flight is delayed , the good news iiisss ......... !! 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
2083 I shall make your money disappear! 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
2084 And with a wave of my wand the Captain *should* appear in the bin above you. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
2085 Now Watch, as I make all amenities disappear. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
2086 Under your seat you’ll find a life vest…and a rabbit! 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
2087 And with a wave of my wand, your bags have been routed to Albuquerque. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
2088 And for my next trick, oxygen masks! 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
2089 In keeping with our new policy of full disclosure... 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
2090 And for my final trick, I will make this flight not delayed. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
2091 ...and next I'll make the seats disappear! 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
2092 And now, I shall make the emergency exits... reappear! 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
2093 Nothing up my sleeve—not even a little bag of peanuts.” 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
2094 This next trick is called “Does anyone here know how to land a 737?” May I have a volunteer? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
2095 Abracadabra, you will get 1 out of your 3 suitcases back upon arrival. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2096 Harry Potter did it better. 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
2097 And through my magic, we will get you to your destination safe and on time. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2098 I'm here to make your flight enjoyable. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
2099 When I say Abracadabra, your oxygen masks will drop down. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
2100 Seven inches of leg room can be magical if you choose to believe. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2101 Fillet mignon, sautéed green beans, cherries jubilee! 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2102 I always wondered how they made the foot room disappear on these planes. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2103 And I'm also the copilot! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2104 And our best workaround for delays is, as ever, performative. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2105 Abraaaaacadaaaaabra!!!! If you now look at your connecting flight you will see it has indeed.... been cancelled! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2106 If I pull this off, they'll let me perform for first class! 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
2107 And poof! Good food disappears! 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
2108 And now, I will make your leg room disappear completely. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
2109 And that's what happens in The Prestige! Up next in in-flight entertainment: Top Gun. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2110 When I snap my fingers you’ll have more legroom. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
2111 For a small extra charge I can make your food edible 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2112 And now, as we continue Economy Class's new form of in-flight entertainment...! 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
2113 Hocus pocus, abracadabra, presto chango, alakazam -- we're stuck on this plane, and I can't say for how long, due to an air-traffic jam. Thank you, you've been a great audience! Now for my next trick -- free drinks! 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
2114 Sorry about the pigeons. 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
2115 I heard someone say he is the backup for the auto-pilot system. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2116 Let's see - no food, no movies! Is flight attendant another economy?" 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2117 If you want to see my vanishing act, just press the call button. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2118 And just like that, the seatbelt sign has reappeared 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2119 And now your potato chips are blue! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2120 No i will not trade seats with you back in coach if you show me a magic trick 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
2121 And now I will make your luggage disappear! 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
2122 and Voila', the pilot disappears!! 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2123 When I wave this wand, you will forget that first class exists and that you are not there. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2124 Vaudeville returns to economy class. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2125 And for my next trick, I'll make your first meal choice DISAPPEAR! 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2126 And in order to activate you flotation device,just say our favorite magic word ... "inflation". 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2127 And if you would kindly take a peek into your wallets right now, you'll find that I've magically removed all of the airline surcharges. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2128 OK, so on-time arrival and no crying babies didn’t work. Let’s go for good food this time!” 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2129 Now what I can’t do is transport you to first class, but I can get you a pack of stale peanuts for the low low price of $3.99, your sanity, and your gut health. 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
2130 Hocus Pocus: Leg Room! 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2131 NOW can I get any volunteers? 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
2132 And now for my next trick, I'll make your luggage disappear. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2133 Now watch as I make your checked luggage disappear. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2134 And now the stewardess will magically appear in the overhead bins! 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
2135 For my next trick, I will return your seat backs and tray tables to the upright and locked position. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2136 . "Hello, I am your pilot. Captain Peter Pan..." 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
2137 Do you believe in magic? Because I just sent your bags to Toledo. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
2138 Pick your own card before assisting others. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
2139 Sorry, the magic comes later -- when our crew shows you how to use a seatbelt for what we assume is the first time in your adult life. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
2140 And now I will bring back the captain and co-pilot. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
2141 Say “ abra cadabra “ and you’ll be in first class 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
2142 When we land, presto! Luggage gone! 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
2143 For my next trick I'll your luggage disappear. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2144 Sure it can. See? 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2145 Everyone is correct, we’re going to the Magic Kingdom! 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
2146 Worry not about this flight delay. Your connections will wait. 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
2147 And, voila! No more leg room! 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
2148 And all the little children will be sent ahead to baggage claim. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
2149 Chicken, pasta, or locally sourced rabbit? 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
2150 ...and for $50 or 50,000 points you can upgrade to no-child class. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
2151 Presto! And just like that, your oversized carry-on that you knew wouldn’t fit in the overhead is in Chicago. 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
2152 And now, watch me make the carbon emissions from this portion of your trip completely disappear! 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2153 Watch me pull a rabbit out of the black box 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
2154 And for my next trick you'll all be enjoying flat-bed seats, Beef Wellington, and unlimited martinis on this one hour flight from San Francisco to Los Angeles. 1.1857 0.06203 70 61 5 4
2155 For my next trick, I will try to make your lost luggage reappear.” 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2156 This entertainment is being provided for an additional fee. Inflight entertainment is no longer included in the ticket price. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
2157 And for my next trick, I'll make oxygen masks fall from the panel above you. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
2158 Movie royalties became too expensive. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
2159 Thirsty? I shall summon the mystical Cart of Hydration! 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
2160 Ladies and gentlemen my magic show will entertain you for the next three hours and 24 minutes, until our landing in Los Angeles! 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
2161 Next, I'll make our complementary drinks service evaporate. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
2162 I double-majored in aviation and wizardry 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
2163 Hocus Pocus - leg room disappears. Overhead bins crush your clothing. And, no more meals. This is progress. 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
2164 If he’s good, maybe our luggage will arrive with us. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
2165 Wishing on a star might get you far 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
2166 This next trick went over big in first class. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
2167 Actually, this is the talking stick. So shut up, and pay attention. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
2168 with a wave of my wand, this plane will be gone! 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
2169 Abra-ca-dabra! You'll get to your destination on time and your luggage will not be lost in London. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
2170 Here's a little trick of mine I like to call "plane boredom!" 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
2171 You are forgetting about the delay and the pink tagged bag, you are forgetting about the delay and the… 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
2172 Abra cadabra,guess where this flight is going! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
2173 Magic can happen even in the sky!! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
2174 ‘And now, for my next trick, I’m going to make all of you disappear into Finnair!’ 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
2175 Your seats will feel a foot apart. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
2176 For my next trick, I’m going to need a volunteer with flexible travel plans.” 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
2177 My next trick involves publishing a lame cartoon caption. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
2178 For my first trick, I will make us all fly! 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
2179 And now your luggage will magically reappear.! 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
2180 Our flight is on time,and it's magical! 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
2181 Do you believe in magic ? 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
2182 And now, to bring the color back into your lives... 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
2183 "Feel free to disappear from the cabin." 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
2184 Thanks to the Autopilot, I'm also into cloud appreciation and learning mandarin. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2185 More vodka? More peanuts? No problem! More legroom? Forget it! 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2186 Bear with me. I was hired by a cruise ship but it ran aground. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2187 Hello sir , would u like pigeon or rabbit as a main course 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2188 Now I’ll make leg-room…disappear! 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2189 And now, for a trick I call "Back to the Past," I'll shift your seats into more legroom, with no meals or drinks charges, while I dissolve all fees for priority seating, checked and carry-on baggage, and cancellations! 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
2190 Abracadabra! Your luggage has just disappeared! 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
2191 Hold on, what do you mean you made the oxygen masks 'disappear?' 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
2192 And for my next trick, this plane will leave on time. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2193 "I need four volunteers who I will make vanish from the airplane." 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2194 My next trick is to give you a bag of peanuts and a free glass of water! 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
2195 Yes! We do so much more than serve you food and beverages! 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2196 Coffee, tea or glee? 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2197 Or, if you prefer, you may use your flotation device. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2198 Please fasten your seatbelts for a magical ride. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2199 And now, for my next trick, I'll make the airline solvent. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
2200 Are there any other unruly passengers who would like me to make them a hamburger? 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
2201 And for the Grand finale, I will swallow this plane whole - David Blaine 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
2202 And abracadabra your luggage will make it to your destination. 1.1829 0.05522 82 71 7 4
2203 With my Magic Self, I pilot, see! 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
2204 Welcome to Hell Ride. Let's ride to Multiverse where Trump got reelected. 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
2205 Welcome, to the new-we are not your parent's Trans World Airline! 1.1829 0.05522 82 71 7 4
2206 You must believe in me because I have the miracle of making man fly. 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
2207 Welcome aboard Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. For my first trick... 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2208 And Presto! Your humanity totally disappears! 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
2209 Voila, you're legroom has disappeared!" 1.1818 0.06055 77 68 4 5
2210 And for my next trick, I will make your legroom completely disappear! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2211 The pilot is now telling me the delay is due to weather! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2212 Watch me pull a safe landing out of my hat. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2213 Welcome onboard Twinkle Airlines, I'm Captain Mandrake and will entertain you on our first auto-pilot flight, so sit back and relax. 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
2214 For my next trick, I'm going to make the romance of air travel reappear! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2215 And for my last trick, landing the plane without any working engines! 1.1818 0.04424 77 63 14 0
2216 You'll never get another chance like this. $10k and the kid disappears for good. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
2217 More leg room sir and madame? 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
2218 You may have heard that there is no magic to flying a plane... Not true! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2219 And just like that, your reservation disappears 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
2220 And the landing will be magical. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
2221 I only said I could make your bags disappear. I never said anything about making them show up again. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
2222 After take off, I will magically disappear. Good luck! 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
2223 One wave of my wand and the plane will land. 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
2224 And now the bulkhead passengers will disappear. 1.1818 0.04424 77 63 14 0
2225 Sure, I'll just conjure up overhead bin space out of thin air. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2226 And for my next trick, I will shift the position of the luggage in the overhead bins 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
2227 Fly Me to the Moon, Let Me Play Among the Stars.... 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
2228 For my next act,I will do the impossible: make your leg space disappear even more! 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
2229 Now for my next trick, I will make our luggage disappear. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
2230 And for my next trip, I shall make your in-flight meal disappear. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2231 Your carry-on is now complimentary. 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
2232 And now Ladies and Gentlemen, your legroom will shrink and then come back as an extra charge for carry on baggage! Kaboom! 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
2233 This will be a magical trip! 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
2234 When I wave this wane you'll feel like your flying! 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
2235 We have about as high of a success rate as the TSA. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
2236 ...and then your bags will appear, on time. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2237 Our first-class passengers do not get to enjoy such first-class entertainment. 1.1806 0.06041 72 63 5 4
2238 I just made the airline's Customer Support disappear! 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2239 Maybe someone else? A rabbit couldn't keep flying the plane. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2240 Economy class magic: your midget gets an upgrade! 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
2241 Put your head between your legs.The pilot has disappeared. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2242 And for our next trick, we'll depart on time and arrive on time. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2243 Welcome back ladies and gents to Spirit airline where we make your ghostly wishes come true 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2244 And don’t forget: breathe normally! 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2245 Presto, your nuts are warm. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2246 Anyone need their peanuts opened ? 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
2247 buckle up winsockie, buckle up 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
2248 Where’s s the life jacket ? 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2249 And presto! Your frequent flier miles are gone. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2250 Welcome to Magic Airlines, where everyone gets a wake-up warlock! 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2251 I'm your on-time genie. Wish me luck. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2252 And for my next trick, I’ll send your luggage to Rabat…Oops, I mean, turn it into a rabbit! 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2253 I heard this is how #stevemartin got his start …. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2254 Oh no…I was warned about sitting in the front row. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2255 Ladies and gentlemen, for landing your large electronic devices shall now disappear. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
2256 And if the oxygen masks drop down, I will disappear. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
2257 If the plane is engufled in water, say “Abra cadabra”. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
2258 No, on this airline we rely on the power of *magic*! 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2259 Watch me pull a nonrefundable canceled flight ticket out of my hat. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2260 Oh c'mon. This is your last chance to believe! 1.1803 0.06405 61 53 5 3
2261 Izzy-doo, izzy-dane, the rabbit’s now flying the plane! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
2262 Please take a few moments now to locate the nearest rabbit. In some cases, the nearest rabbit may be behind you. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
2263 Poof. No more masks. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
2264 I make baggage disappear! 1.1795 0.04373 78 64 14 0
2265 Next time honey,we are doing first class. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
2266 Try to punch me - I dare you ... 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
2267 And for my next trick, the child seated behind you will whine incessantly for the next 3 hours. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
2268 In the event of an emergency landing, wave the magic wand found in the seatback pocket in front of you. 1.1791 0.05987 67 58 6 3
2269 Voila! An extra two inches. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
2270 ... you can hold your applause for when we land. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2271 And for my last trick, I guarantee your luggage will be waiting for you at the airport. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2272 Presto - all your luggage just disappeared! 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2273 Watch me shrink your non existent leg room to where your legs will turn blue! 1.1791 0.04720 67 55 12 0
2274 Presto Change-O, the fares just went up” 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2275 In case of an emergency this craft will be turned into the Good Ship Lollipop. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
2276 A true magician never reveals his egress. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2277 The best way to sneak your bunny onto a plane. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2278 And for my next trick, I’m going to put the dignity back into air travel! 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
2279 ...and now for my final trick: you have to tolerate each other for the next two hours and not punch the crew in the back of the head. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
2280 Let me entertain you, let me make you smile at 40,000 feet in the air! 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
2281 I'd kill just for the amount of leg-room provided by "saw a body in half" trick 1.1786 0.07256 56 50 2 4
2282 and for my final trick, I'm going to make the pilot disappear 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
2283 The only thing that's not magic is today's in flight credit card deal 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
2284 And for my next trick, I'll make D.B. Cooper reappear! 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
2285 And for our grand finale, reach down and pick up the card that slid down from 3 rows in front of you. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2286 Flight of the Valkyries 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2287 And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, if this works we will be taking off! 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
2288 ...and Presto, the items in the overhead bin have now shifted slightly! 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
2289 Abra Cadabra When you open your eyes you won’t remember how long your flight was delayed! 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2290 Abracadabra, it's February, 2020.... 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2291 For my next trick, I'll make your luggage disappear. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
2292 And for my next trick, I'll make oxygen masks magically appear 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
2293 Hey lady, rub my wand and I can make your partner disappear! 1.1781 0.05962 73 64 5 4
2294 Pulling legroom out of my hat was not part of the job description 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
2295 ...and...like magic...your drink cart has disappeared! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
2296 If you move an inch, scream or misbehave, I will make this plane disappear. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
2297 Abracadabra! Your flight has been re-routed through Kiyiv! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
2298 Hi guys, just saying I don't understand Virgin Atlantic commercials either. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
2299 .. and Hey Presto! Your connecting flight is cancelled! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
2300 Can I get a volunteer? A licensed pilot volunteer. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
2301 And for my next trick...even those peanuts will disappear! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
2302 Now, for my next trick, I will make a friendly flight attendant appear and serve real food. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
2303 The last guy who refused to get off disappeared. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
2304 And with just the flick of my wrist I can oxygen masks appear from the ceiling. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
2305 Abracadabra, for my first trick, I will make the baby smile for the entire plane ride! And… there is no second trick necessary! You’re welcome, folks! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
2306 Hang tight as I attempt to make the captain reappear after my scheduled break. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
2307 Peanuts,pretzels,or a rabbit? 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
2308 Well folks, we're about to crash, sooooo... I'm outta here! 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
2309 Extra legroom is free if you are sawn in half." 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
2310 Abracadabra! All of your checked luggage has disappeared! 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
2311 Shazam!! all your travel perks vanished, and prices have doubled. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
2312 And for my next trick, 9/11 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
2313 And presto! That's how you buckle a seat belt. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
2314 For my last trick, I'm going to make your luggage DISSAPPEAR! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
2315 I said I could make things fly... 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
2316 This wand could be yours for only $1299. See the catalog in your seat-back pocket to order now. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
2317 Ahhhh folks, from the cockpit, just wanted to let you know that due to budget cuts we have merged our in-flight entertainment system with our Air Marshalls, so sit back and enjoy our new air magicians. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
2318 …And then the oxygen masks will magically appear! 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
2319 And now I will make the air borne germs magically disappear! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
2320 No no. I said a master delusionist. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
2321 And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you make a bunch of annoying, guitar playing, whack job Christians disappear!” 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
2322 Anyone else want to ask me for an "upgrade?" 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
2323 Ladies and gentlemen, if you need anything, anything at all, I'll be happy to just wave my magic wand! 1.1757 0.05563 74 64 7 3
2324 Magically, all your carry on bags have fit into the overhead bins with no struggle!! You can thank me later!! 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
2325 Please keep your cell phones on and filming during takeoff, I'm trying to go viral. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
2326 For my next trick, I will raise your seats to their full and upright positions. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
2327 Who would like to volunteer their luggage for my disappearing act? 1.1757 0.05563 74 64 7 3
2328 God, I hate flying Southwest. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
2329 Abracadabra. Your legroom has disappeared. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
2330 And for a mere $8.99, I will make your air mask appear on your lap when it is needed 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
2331 In the case of an emergency landing, your seat cushion will disappear! 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
2332 And for our final feature First class will disembark first 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
2333 Abra-cadabra I have delayed your flight" 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
2334 ...and, after the free fall, I can make the plane do a series of 7 sequential somersaults! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
2335 The in-flight movie is only $15.99 but you can get free entertainment just by asking! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
2336 If your carry ons are where the wings used to be, what might we find in the overhead bins? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
2337 And with magic I will make the flight arrive on time 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
2338 When the fasten seat belt is on.... 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
2339 I don't know how to make the pilot reappear, but wait until you see what I can do with a deck of cards. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
2340 And my next trick will be landing the plane. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
2341 Would you believe the pilot’s name is Harvey? 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
2342 Not necessarily magic, but perhaps as close as we come to conjuring an in-flight meal. 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
2343 Shazam! Now look out your window. We're being diverted to Buffalo. 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
2344 And for my next trick, I'll need somebody in the audience to lend me 50,000 bonus miles... 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
2345 And for my next trick, I'll hand out customs forms and make all your writing instruments disappear! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
2346 And now, for my next trick, with a stroke of this wand I will upgrade the gentleman in the front row to first class -where no one is subjected to any B-grade magic shows. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
2347 Thank me. I just made all your masks disappear permanently … 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
2348 I'll need a volunteer. My lucky assistant will also get a $300 voucher. 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
2349 For my next trick I’m going to make soft drink service disappear. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
2350 Landing gear! 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
2351 The only magic I can’t do is to locate your lost luggage 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
2352 Close your eyes and Magically we'll be there. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
2353 Lastly, I’ll make any modicum of joy you might experience during this flight, disappear. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
2354 abracadabra your coke is now apple juice. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
2355 When you sign up you’ll earn 80,000 miles and three wishes! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
2356 Now THIS trick will stop air sickness 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
2357 Don't fret, but I seem to have disappeared the flaps." 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
2358 And for my next trick, I’ll make that child who keeps kicking your seat, fall asleep! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
2359 And your luggage disappears! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
2360 Sit back and enjoy the complimentary in-flight entertainment in coach. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2361 Anything is possible on the Hogwarts Express." 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
2362 AlaKazaam! I've made your leg- room disappear! 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
2363 *Breath of a tiger, blood of a tick, remove from these pages the tedious Gopnik!* Okay, good news, your copy of The New Yorker just got a little better. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2364 And voila - I've made all your COVID masks disappear! 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2365 ...and for my next trick, I will make your legroom, onboard meals and checked luggage disappear! 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
2366 I'm just here to distract you from the fact this plane has gone into an unrecoverable nose dive. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
2367 Enough with the jokes..I will now move onto magic. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
2368 Sorry no, your luggage will not reappear 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
2369 A magician always reveals his safety cards. 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
2370 For my next trick, can I get a volunteer for a later flight? 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
2371 Last chance for extra leg room. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2372 So before TSA arrives... 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2373 He moonlights as a pilot. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
2374 Welcome to the Magic School Bus. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2375 And soon you will all safely arrive in Never Never Land. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2376 Watch your leg room magically disappear. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
2377 And over the next four and a half hours, we'll make your will to live disappear! 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2378 Those with Pullman service will reach warp speed transport first, the rest of us can clown around in the DeMaterialized Zone 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
2379 ALAKAZAM, you now think you have more leg room.. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2380 All of that safety briefing will protect you as much as this magic wand in case of a crash. Enjoy your flight! 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2381 And with the flick of the wand your luggage will disappear for three days! 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
2382 Abracadabra! And that’s how we fit your suitcase into the overhead bin… or we’ll just gate check it. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2383 …and in the event of a water landing, simply wave the magic wand located under your seat. 1.1739 0.06179 69 61 4 4
2384 Even magic has it’s limits. Pretend you’re there already . 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
2385 And for my next trick I will make the couple in Row A disappear into thin air. 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
2386 You are sitting in the magician aisle. Do you agree to comply with my magic tricks as a form of in-flight entertainment?” 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
2387 It’s magic if your bags appear at your destination! 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
2388 You can expect an on-time arrival 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
2389 And when we land your luggage will have disappeared ! 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
2390 Everything will be just fine and please remember what I told you about your oxygen masks and life vests. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
2391 Attention Passemgers, instead of the safety demonstration, I am going to do my magic tricks. Please pay attention while I replicate how a jet is downed 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
2392 Abracadabra, now this magic wand will make you fly in the air 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
2393 I'm your magical flight attendant. I can pull peanuts out of my hat, make a crying baby disappear, and saw a rude passenger in half. 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
2394 And that's how we magically send your luggage to the other side of the globe. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
2395 Abracadabra--you're all aware of this planes safety protocols! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
2396 And do you really believe my magic wand will buckle your seatbelts for you? 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
2397 If you all even THINK of misbehaving, I'll make the captain disappear. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
2398 I'm the designated backup, in case the Bermuda Triangle malfunctions. 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
2399 And like magic, the oxygen mask will appear and we recommend you put it on or you will disappear. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
2400 Children, Ladies and Gentlemen, watch the magic show and try not to think about climate change 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2401 And just like that, your flight is invisible 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2402 For my next illusion, I’ll try out this oxygen mask 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2403 Let’s pretend we’re going somewhere. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2404 And for my next trick, I’ll attempt to make the pilot reappear! 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2405 And this is for attracting attention 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2406 For my next trick, I will land the plane with my eyes closed. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2407 Airlines resort to magic to mesmerize angry passengers. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2408 It'll be magic if you make your connection. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2409 The following day, in-flight movies were invented. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2410 Poof! Your luggage has disappeared! 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
2411 You'll find this under your seat instead of a life vest, because, why not? 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
2412 And now for the safety demonstration 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
2413 Yes, I am a figment of your imagination. 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
2414 Watch me pull an O'Hare out of my hat. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
2415 But our legroom wasn't here even before you waved you wand. 1.1719 0.06122 64 56 5 3
2416 If you're angry and aggressive, I'll make you disappear from this aircraft! 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
2417 Hey! Who wants to get sawed in half? 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
2418 First Class has now been vanished and you are free to roam the Cabin. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
2419 John Darling at your service! The Captain's name is Hook. Tink's up in first class with Wendy. 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
2420 And for my next trick, I will try to make your wallet reappear! 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
2421 If the oxygen masks don't drop, try this... 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
2422 Watch closely as I make three hours of your day disappear right before your very eyes! 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
2423 Pilots’ trick or treat, folks! They’re taking us to Singapore instead of Paris! 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
2424 And...poof! There go your free amenities! 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
2425 I'm your friendly flight attendant. Please pay close attention while I explain what happens your frequent flyer miles after January first. 1.1719 0.06514 64 57 3 4
2426 An on time departure? Sir, I'm a magician not a wizard. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
2427 Prepare to be astounded as I make your hope for arriving on time disappear! 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
2428 ...and now for another magic word - the one that caucasians aren't *allowed* to say... 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2429 Gas prices have gone up so I need to collect more money. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2430 And presto, your seatbelt is buckled! 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2431 Pay us $18,000 more, and - poof! - you'll all be in flatbeds. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2432 No cancellations, no delays and free peanuts. 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2433 And for my next trick, I'll make complimentary beverage service disappear! 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2434 Is this supposed to distract us from having to pay for water and the 3 hour delay? 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2435 I’m sorry, Sir, it’s part of our “No Tolerance” policy 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2436 Abra-ca-airborne! 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
2437 On the count of 3, the bulkhead will disappear, and you will be in first class! 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
2438 And you will magically forget all of these safety instructions in an emergency 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
2439 I can honestly do whatever I want during the pre-flight safety demonstration and no one will ever notice. 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
2440 It may not look like much but this is my Las Vegas. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
2441 And now I'll turn your nuts into smoked salmon. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
2442 Good news. We're transitioning from hand sanitizers and masks. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
2443 Finally, I will produce a single empty seat in coach. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
2444 And for my next trick, I will quietly quit before your eyes! 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
2445 In the event of an emergency, you will find the card you chose at the terminal in the under-seat compartment. 1.1698 0.06992 53 47 3 3
2446 This is a magic wand in my hand and I’m happy to see you 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
2447 And now for my next trick I will make more overhead room 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
2448 And now folks, I am going make all of your luggage disappear if it hasn't disappeared already. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
2449 Poof. You inflight meals have also disappeared. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
2450 “If the airplane loses cabin pressure, voila - oxygen masks." 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
2451 And like magic,we'll land in New York ! 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
2452 With a waive of this wand, the kid seated behind you won't kick your seat even once! 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
2453 It's called sleight of hand, not room of leg. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
2454 In the event of a water landing, a flock of doves will appear beneath your seat. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
2455 ''MAY I ENTERTAIN YOU?" 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
2456 Let us pray to God for a safe landing. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
2457 Liferabbits can be found under your seats. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
2458 So if you could all say after me, abracadabra engines please stop burning. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
2459 And for my next trick, I'm going to make all the crew disappear. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
2460 Welcome to the first class! We begin with Levitation 101. 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
2461 And now, boys and girls, for my final trick, I am doubling the cost of each ticket held by a person with at least one dental implant. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
2462 For my next trick, I’ll make the pilot disappear. 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
2463 There is no inflight service but trick or treat? 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
2464 And now the meal is edible. Just kidding. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
2465 Abracadabra! You are now at your destination, or will be when the pilot lands this plane. For my next trick, you're luggage will be there also. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
2466 For my next trick I'm going to land the plane 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
2467 Do you like our new uniforms! 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
2468 For a mere $500 surcharge, we provide VR headsets which will make it seem like you are flying First Class. From the finest wines to private sleeping cubicles, we "offer" it all. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
2469 Since you loved the trick where $50 disappeared from your wallets to pay for a second bag, I am sure you'll enjoy being hypnotized into using your credit cards for expensive snacks and drinks that were free two years ago. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
2470 Your flight is late. This is a very large thermometer. I'll leave the rest to your imagination. 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
2471 I can conjure up anything, except more leg room. 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
2472 And that's how Donald Trump was re-elected President. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
2473 ''After this number I'll go back to flying the plane.'' 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
2474 And with a simple wave of my wand, I will disable the 'call flight attendant button.' 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
2475 I wish I could turn off the inflight entertainment system. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
2476 And now for my next trick , I'm going to make everyone who flies on an airline sane again " 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
2477 “ Dream along with me, I’m on my way to the stars … “ 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
2478 I'm hoping to quit my day job. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
2479 For my next trick, I'll make your tiny bit of legroom disappear. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
2480 Let me tell you about our magical seatbelts. 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
2481 No, I can't make a complimentary soft drink and miniature bag of peanuts appear. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
2482 Voila, the magic mask! 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
2483 Give them the old razzle dazzle; razzle dazzle em 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
2484 Ever wondered what snakes on the plane eat? Watch closely. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
2485 Did someone drop a vape pen in the first class loo? 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
2486 Abracadabra! There will be no complaints! 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
2487 Can I conjure up some more leg room for you? 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
2488 And a 'wand' a two and a three. 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
2489 It is amazing all right. It' detects oversize carry-ons and automatically bills as checked luggage. 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
2490 With a wave of my wand, your bladders and bowels will remain dormant for the whole flight... 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
2491 What's the hat for? 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
2492 For my next trick I will send someone’s luggage to the correct airport. 1.1688 0.05669 77 68 5 4
2493 Abra Cadabra to First Class or a Space Ship? 1.1688 0.05359 77 67 7 3
2494 In unlikely event of a water landing, your seat cushion magically becomes a flotation device. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
2495 If she kicks you again,I can make her disappear! 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
2496 The people back in coach only get a couple of lousy card tricks. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
2497 We may never reach JFK with all this misdirection. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
2498 This is your pilot speaking! 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
2499 I'm your pilot now! 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
2500 Would you like me to saw you in half? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
2501 Watch your ETA disappear. 1.1667 0.05600 78 69 5 4
2502 Want to see me pull the pilot out of my hat? 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
2503 Say ‘abra-ka-dabra’…… or the plane crashes. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
2504 I can pull many things out of my hat, but not leg room. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
2505 Pixie dust and magic my friend! 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
2506 Now watch as I attempt to make your leg room REAPPEAR! 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
2507 And now watch as I make your luggage disappear! 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
2508 For my next trick, I need a disgruntled passenger to put on the straight jacket. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
2509 Yes. My access to the pantry can satisfy your desires for something before we reach our destination, I hope. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
2510 When I say abracadabra this enormously heavy object will take you far above the earth and remain there until I tell it to descend. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
2511 Alright everyone close your eyes, count to 3, and watch that mountain disappear! 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
2512 For my next trick I will revive the pilot 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
2513 Snacks? Once you had them, now you don’t” 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
2514 I can get you there quicker with this 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
2515 OK, who's up for a magic show in place of a nothing meal? 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
2516 Hocus presto, Thanksgiving is over and you are fifteen minutes from home. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
2517 To help keep your mind off the delays, unscheduled re-routing, lost luggage, and the fact that we ran out of snacks on the connecting flight, allow me to dazzle you with feats of prestidigitation. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2518 The magic stops, only if/when the plane itself crashes. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
2519 Dear passengers, as part of the improvement of our services, we offer you an entertainment show instead of a multimedia screen. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2520 Abraca-cancelled connection! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
2521 The pressing question is whether he can pull a landing gear out of that hat. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
2522 Next I will make your impatience disappear. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2523 Alas, not even I can make your luggage appear. 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
2524 ....and for my next trick folks, I'm going to make your trip comfortable.... 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2525 In the case of emergency, I do take Venmo, PayPal, and Apple Cash to make your oxygen masks appear out of thin air 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
2526 I grant you three wishes, none of which may address your comfort, safety, or arrival time on this flight. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
2527 And now, all your masks will vanish, and some of you will be happy. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
2528 0ne wave of this wand and the kid won’t kick 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
2529 For my next trick, watch as I make all your luggage disappear. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2530 Me’ Name’s Darby O’Gill and you “Little People” need to know that Elon only said he would get you to the moon. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
2531 And now to make your luggage appear at baggage claim 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
2532 These seats are wonderfully comfortable and the food's great. Oh? You don't believe in magic? 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
2533 And for my last trick, I'll pull a whisper of gratitude out of first class. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
2534 Now to make your overhead luggage re-appear! 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
2535 Voila - the meal is lip smacking good! 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
2536 For my next trick, you will now have to pick up your carry-on at baggage claim. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
2537 Would you like a trick or a treat? 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
2538 With a little magic, we might take off on time! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
2539 In case of emergency a magic wand will drop down; wave it around like this and say "abracadabra". 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2540 Instead of your next trick,could you get back to flying the plane? 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
2541 Abracadabra! Your dignity has disappeared! 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
2542 And now, as requested by an anonymous passenger, I'll show you how to make your partner disappear! 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
2543 For the next hour of your ground hold, can I have a volunteer from the extra legroom rows 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
2544 Then,thrillingly bumping our way through the Asteroid Belt,w 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
2545 Abracadabra You have just won an all expenses paid overnight stay at the Marriott! 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
2546 I learned the art of misdirection as a baggage handler! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
2547 And with a wave of this wand, I will make our plane levitate until we reach our destination in Denver. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
2548 Look! The plane is flying itself! 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
2549 Hi folks. You heard right. The pilot apologizes for the unexpected delay . And so, for the next four hours on the tarmac, I'm here to entertain you. Please join in if the spirit moves you. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
2550 And now, I am going to make all of you passengers disappear. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
2551 I call this next one “tricky landing” #MyNewYorkerCaption 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
2552 Actually, rows 17 through 34 bet me I couldn’t get your daughter to stop crying. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
2553 Is that a rabbit in my hat, or perhaps a cheese snack? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2554 Abracadabra, increase their legroom! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2555 Items may shift into the shape of a white rabbit during flight 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
2556 I cannot guarantee that we will arrive at destination but it will still be a fun experience! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2557 Close your eyes, you can fly! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2558 pilot:".... and this is how you fly a plane" 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2559 And for my next trick, I'll make your luggage disappear... oh, wait. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
2560 For my first trick, I will make the pilot disappear! 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
2561 and when you wake up you will be at your destination 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
2562 For my next trick, I'll use 18,000 gallons of jet fuel to solve your marital problems, cure your mental illness, and delude you into believing your life under capitalism is fulfilling. 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
2563 Shazam ,you have more legroom. 1.1644 0.05522 73 64 6 3
2564 And now, I will conjure up a special bonus miles credit card offer that's only good on today's flight! 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
2565 And just like that I made COVID disappear. 1.1644 0.05522 73 64 6 3
2566 And for my next magic trick, I 'll try to make the plane arrive on time. 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
2567 Finally the moment you’ve been desperately begging for. Here’s where the emergency exit doors are. 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
2568 I wave my magic wand and PRESTO! The flight isn't cancelled and the landing gear stays on. 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
2569 And now, abracadabra, all crying babies disappear with your luggage 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
2570 23 Ski Dooski 1.1644 0.05522 73 64 6 3
2571 Who farted? 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
2572 And with a flick of my wand, the cabin will lose pressure and the oxygen masks will magically appear. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
2573 My magic will ensure your safety from your fellow passenger rage. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2574 And for my next trick, you get a free bag of nuts 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2575 And for my neatest trick: a delicious home-cooked meal! 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2576 ...and now for my next trick, you have leg room. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2577 Behold,as I trick the captain into staying awake! 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2578 In the unlikely event of loss of cabin pressure, oxygen makes will magically appear! 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2579 And with this trick, I will vanish your children for the duration of the flight. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2580 Watch while I make 3” of legroom magically disappear! 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2581 What we never see right before those unruly passenger videos… the annoying in-flight magician. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2582 Presto! Your leg room has disappeared. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2583 Can I get you some more leg room? 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2584 Can you believe I was performing in the airport lounge an hour ago? And they say consumers don't benefit from understaffing. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2585 Watch me while I make two more inches from your seat pitch disappear! 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2586 And for my next trick, I'll actually get you some food. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2587 It's your lucky day, today I'll be escaping from a crashing airplane for your entertainment! 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2588 With a few magic words and the wave of this wand, you will instantly be hypnotized to believe you are flying first class. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2589 Well, how about YOU come up with a better idea for people to pay attention to the pre-flight safety demonstration? 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2590 The rabbit is in the hole,and we are cleated for take off. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
2591 and for my next trick, i'll make your luggage disappear 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
2592 And if you had looked out the right side of the plane a few seconds ago, you would have seen the rabbit reappear! 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
2593 Abracadabra and the pilot materializes. Hmm, wait, wait; let me try again. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
2594 And now you'll think you're in your happy place 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
2595 And just like that the overhead bins are full. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
2596 And now, I want all of you to stop worrying that this li'l ol' plane is gonna drop right out of the sky and plunge into the sea and drown us all. 1.1639 0.06264 61 54 4 3
2597 And just like that: the covid stank is a lavender waft. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
2598 I just disappeared the pilot! 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
2599 It’s in the company’s best interest to pretend that we lost your luggage intentionally. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
2600 Abracadabra! Soon either chicken or beef dinner will appear, and if you preordered vegetarian, it will be that. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
2601 How does the plane stay in the air? By magic! 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
2602 And if someone would just sign up for a credit card, I can stop doing this. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
2603 Were flying over Bermuda, but don't worry- I will be the only one making things disappear 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
2604 No, first class passengers are NOT required to watch my magic show. Why do you ask? 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
2605 ….and when I say, ‘Open Sesame,’ I predict you’ll feel a sudden rush of air. 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
2606 For my next trick, I'll make this plane... disappear! 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
2607 Now watch as I make your elbow room disappear 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
2608 Abracadabra! Now you see 800 passengers in a plane designed for 300! 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
2609 A Board K Bla Bla, your safety talk has disappeared 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
2610 Ta-da! And STILL no leg room. 1.1636 0.06749 55 49 3 3
2611 Thank you for flying with us and have a wanderful day. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
2612 Where we're going, we don't need roads. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
2613 ...and now, for those of you attending a wedding later today, I will make your luggage disappear 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
2614 Now that I have your undivided attention, let me practice my set for the Catskills. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
2615 In first class we offer distraction from an imminent crash! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
2616 Voila! No more emotional support bunny in first class. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
2617 Yes, I'm a real magician, and don't call me "Shirley." 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
2618 And now I will conclusively prove that 95% of people put oversized bags into the overhead bins. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
2619 I found this stuff in First Class! 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
2620 Do not worry, the co-pilot has everything under control 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
2621 We’ll arrive on time and the gate will be open. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
2622 We pride ourselves on making your luggage disappear! 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
2623 And finally in case of a real emerge wpI will makr myself disappear 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
2624 The airline charges a fee if you want me to make your luggage reappear. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
2625 I can even make your luggage disappear from 30,000 feet 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
2626 In preparation for landing, I will be coming through the cabin to hex anybody whose seatback is not in the upright position. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
2627 Now you see this exit, now you don’t 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
2628 And presto, we’ve made even more legroom disappear! 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
2629 Fasten your seatbelts little boy, we are now on the way to Fantasy Island! 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
2630 And after these magic words and a flick of my wand.. your wallets will open! 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
2631 The airline doesn’t have GPS, but not to worry. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
2632 And now for the trick of the disappearing leg room! 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
2633 Who said our flight to Reno couldn’t be fun, huh? 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
2634 Who says we don’t appreciate our economy class members? 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
2635 In the event of a cabin emergency, I will disappear! 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
2636 Puff. It’s okay for everyone to fart. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
2637 And, for my next trick, I’m going to make this thing FLY! 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
2638 And for my next trick, with the help of the baby in 13A, I'll be making your patience disappear! 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
2639 It takes a magician to close these things. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
2640 Malvo the Supreme? No, I'm Tarmac, the No One's Enjoying This Delay Either So Quit Your Bitching. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
2641 And POOF! Your leg space has disappeared! 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
2642 Comedy went out with leg room...... 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
2643 Voilà, all locals will be courteous during your stay in Paris. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
2644 No, your suitcases haven't disappeared. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
2645 And for my next trick, your luggage will magically disappear! 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
2646 And now I will make your suitcases reappear in Minneapolis. 1.1613 0.06168 62 55 4 3
2647 For my next trick, I'll make your chatty seat-mate disappear 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
2648 If we magically arrive on time, I accept tens and twenties. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
2649 And, voila, the free meal is gone but your bags miraculously show up at the terminal. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
2650 In financial news, No Frills Airline raises cash by introducing a new charge for passengers who wish to forgo its otherwise compulsory onboard entertainment. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
2651 For my next trick, I'll saw someone's leg run in half. 1.1609 0.05137 87 77 6 4
2652 Presto three-day-old instant coffee! 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
2653 And for my next trick, I will actually create a REAL meal. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
2654 The floatation vests never really worked, so the airline has turned to a sure thing in case of emergency. 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
2655 And for my next trick I will be landing this plane in the Hudson River. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
2656 One of the benefits of unionizing is a free subscription to MasterClass. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
2657 I'm here to tell you your luggage is somewhere else because of my "magic act." 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
2658 Sign up for our rewards credit card or I'll turn you all into frogs 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
2659 In case of a mid-flight disaster there’s a broom underneath your seat 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
2660 Don’t worry, I’m sure I know how to make the pilots reappear. 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
2661 abracadabra! Now if you look under your seat, you'll find a life jacket! 1.1607 0.06125 56 49 5 2
2662 . And for my trick would you like a flotation device or a raft. 1.1607 0.06125 56 49 5 2
2663 See how easily legroom, food options, and luggage disappear! 1.1605 0.05403 81 72 5 4
2664 After three hours on the tarmac…” and now for my next trick”. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
2665 TA DA! Your seats all have less legroom. 1.1605 0.05403 81 72 5 4
2666 Watch me pull a rabbit…foot outta my hat! The left engine just failed. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
2667 POOF! My name is THEY and I am your flight attendant. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
2668 Sorry, no more white wine, would you prefer a Princess? 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
2669 Ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages, in case of emergency, I will disappear 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
2670 I just made all your checked luggage disappear, magic! 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
2671 Abracadabra, Hocus Pocus, our trusted pilots up front, have eyeglasses which don't focus!! 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
2672 isn't this FUN? 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
2673 Put on your masks now or you may find this up your nose. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
2674 And for my next trick, I will make the in flight wifi work! -Jack Deneen, Bronxville, NY 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
2675 For my next trick,your legroom will disappear! 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
2676 And that concludes the intermission act…now put your hands together for another 2 hour extravaganza of broadway cast-members singing songs that no one asked for 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
2677 Magic is believing in yourself. If you can do that, you can make this plane leave on time. 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
2678 ...and when I snap my fingers, you will wake up and know how to fly a plane. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
2679 And Poof! On arrival, you will find your luggage has completely disappeared. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
2680 Remember, the nearest door may not open! 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
2681 Fly Me To The Moon 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
2682 May I have your attention ladies and gentlemen. The captain wanted me to show you the new auto pilot. 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
2683 In case of engine failure, stand at the nearest exit door, close your eyes, think happy thoughts and jump. You should be able to fly...or at least that's what Peter Pan said. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
2684 Now I'll make the pilot disappear. 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
2685 I can make your luggage disappear just like that. 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
2686 And in the event of an emergency a mask will magically appear here 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
2687 Presto: it’s 10 degrees in here. 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
2688 And just like that we are all gonna die in this plane 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
2689 Why have Miracle on the Hudson when you can have Magic in the Aisle? 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
2690 And presto! The cabin will depressurize and the oxygen masks will drop down! 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
2691 Anyone who stands up before the plane has come to a complete stop will be turned into a toad! 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
2692 Abracadabra! Watch your perks disappear! 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
2693 In addition to drinks and snacks, I’ll be providing the in-flight entertainment for your trip… 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
2694 If you believe in magic you'll get oxygen just by wishing for it. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
2695 Comedy magic was always hard, but this year my show has really taken off. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
2696 When the flyer said in flight entertainment I didn’t think it meant this. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
2697 Because it's a 3 hours flight, I'll only do half my act. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
2698 Neat trick... but who is flying the plane, Captain? 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
2699 Abracadabra! Your seats are smaller. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
2700 Brought to you live your in flight entertainment 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
2701 The Rockettes flight was overbooked. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
2702 Picky, picky picky poo. I've got less leg space just for you! 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
2703 And for my next trick, you will enjoy your flight. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
2704 In the unlikely event of an emergency landing and evacuation, a top hat and magic wand will drop down from above your seat. Believe me, you’re gonna need it. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
2705 Acil durumda tavşan çıkarmak için sihirli çubuğu bir kez, oksijen maskesi için ise iki kez sallayın. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
2706 So… my disappearing act didn’t work as expected… anyone a pilot? 1.1587 0.06074 63 56 4 3
2707 And your luggage will be there when you arrive. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
2708 This flight is oversold. So for my next trick I will shrink your seat and make you feel good about it. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
2709 When I wave this wand, the pilot will awaken! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
2710 And for my next trick. I'll make the plane disappear. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
2711 This second tap will return your bags to the overhead bins. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
2712 And for my next trick, I'm going to make all your bags disappear from the baggage claim. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
2713 For my next trick, I will hypnotize you into thinking you are in first class! 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
2714 I know. You’re thinking ‘Bell bottoms…., how 60s.’.” 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
2715 Even though we’re not wearing masks, we won’t get sick and arrive on time. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
2716 I think we all made the same wish, right? That my wand also did union contracts? 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
2717 With a stroke of this wand,a crash into the ocean becomes a water landing. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
2718 Seems like there's magic in the air. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
2719 And in the case of an emergency, I just wave my wand. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
2720 Sir, I’d just like the pretzels please. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
2721 For my next trick, I will make you forget about your carbon footprint and environmental damage! 1.1579 0.06522 57 51 3 3
2722 I thought the quality of on-board entertainment couldn't get worse. But I was wrong. Never gonna fly United again! 1.1579 0.05636 76 68 4 4
2723 …and on today’s flight to Mars, please give a warm welcome to our inflight entertainer, Elon” 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
2724 With the magic word I may prevent a 24 hour delay. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
2725 And for my next trick I’ll make real food magically appear. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
2726 We thought there were only eight shades of gray. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
2727 And for my next trick, I will make the airplane fly. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
2728 I am your steward here to perform at your command, since we forgot to load the meals. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
2729 This is a thrill no-frills airline! 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
2730 Poof! That took care of your carry-on luggage. Now - would you like to have the plane disappear or just the other passengers and the crew? 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
2731 This also has an airdrop feature, but obviously we don’t wanna use it here 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
2732 Thanks for flying Air Abracadabra! For my next trip, I shall make your luggage disappear! 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
2733 Did you really think a 160,000 Lb heavy plane would fly without magic? 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
2734 ...and when I count to three, your legroom will disappear! 1.1569 0.07070 51 46 2 3
2735 And in First Class, I will be whipping up my Magical Rabbit Stew. 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
2736 Hocus pocus. Passengers focus. 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
2737 No need to fasten your seat belts or stow your carry-ons under the seat. On today's trip to Mar-A-Lago, we will be flying with magic." 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
2738 And now for my next trick ladies and germs, I will disappear for 3 hours. 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
2739 Magic! Your baggage is going to Duluth instead. 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
2740 Bibbity Bobbity Boo, Behave or I will tazer you! 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
2741 How about you make the crying toddler in 2C disappear” 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
2742 For my next trick, I will give you real food. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
2743 Due to budget cuts, I will be tonight's in-flight entertainment. 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
2744 I’ll need a volunteer. My lucky assistant will get a $300 voucher and the next flight. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
2745 Wanna see me make your legroom disappear? 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
2746 You're safe. We will never land. 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
2747 And for my next trick, I will turn your seat cushion into a floatation device. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
2748 The cabin crew are here primarily for your comfort and safety. For anything else, please feel free to wish. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
2749 What if I could waive your baggage fee? 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
2750 With one swish of my wand, everyone on board with their shoes off will disappear @cassredtho 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
2751 And, *presto!* your bag will go to Duluth, your wife's bag will go to Cairo, and your child's bag will go Sydney! 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
2752 For my next trick.. No Mask!!! 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
2753 Now, I will magically make your arrival time three hours late! 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
2754 Tada! You now fit in a seat made for half a person. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
2755 Our $14.95 cold burger or Covid. Your choice. 1.1558 0.05250 77 68 6 3
2756 And after disembarking, you’ll be amazed to find I’ve made all your luggage disappear. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
2757 Now approaching the magic circle. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
2758 No worries. We're going to get all our propellers working again in no time using our latest FAA-approved technology called magic! 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
2759 Let's endeavor to make this three-hour delay a magical experience. 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
2760 First Class is full. However, until I awaken you, you will actually believe that your are flying First Class. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
2761 For my next trick, I'm going to transfer all the surly TSA workers to a Gulag in Siberia ... 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
2762 It’s no illusion, folks….Captain Al has the plane on autopilot so he can transform into Magic Al!” 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
2763 And if all else fails, I have a few tricks up my sleeve. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
2764 Does anyone know how to fly a plane? The pilot seems to have magically, i mean mysteriously, disappeared. 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
2765 Abracadabra. Your connecting flight will wait for you. 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
2766 Who's ready to be delayed! 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
2767 At this time, we'd like you to all turn off all sorcery invoking devices 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
2768 The airlines hoped magic would help the attendants avoid further assaults -- that is, until the baby in seat 17B stole the wand. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
2769 Prepare to watch your last shred of joy completely disappear! 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
2770 Another one of Biden's hires. No qualifications, just checks a box. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
2771 Anyone want to arrive immediately? 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
2772 For my next trick I will straighten my right arm drawn by the cartoonist at a ridiculously unrealistic angle. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
2773 Welcome to our new and improved economy flight. On the count of three, please observe the disappearance of leg room. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
2774 It may take a spell to stop the seat kicking. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
2775 Magic is all about flight of hand. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
2776 One person's safety demonstration is another's sense of childlike wonder. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
2777 « Emergency exits are to your left and, tada, behind your ear. » 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
2778 Imagine you’re having free food and drinks 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
2779 Hi. My name is David Copperfield and this plane is about to vanish into thin air. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
2780 Now you see your luggage... 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
2781 I can also magically shift the contents in the overhead bins so that they fall on you when you open them. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
2782 Watch me create a NEW SEAT between you two! 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
2783 Now I'll make your leg room disappear! 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
2784 For those of you traveling on to New York, your gate is a 25 minute walk and your plane departs in 15 minutes. 1.1538 0.06372 52 46 4 2
2785 Our flight to Hogwarts will be delayed until the flying brooms are attached to the wings. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
2786 That cabin air is stuffy and it has gone to my head.. Oh hello, I am your pilot. What can I get you these days? 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
2787 I need a volunteer for my next trick. Who wants to leave the plane and get a $50 voucher to take a later flight? 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
2788 For my next trick, I'll get you six inches more leg room. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
2789 Welcome aboard Ryanair. We hope you brought along a four-leaf clover. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
2790 The next trick is the one that really helped my career take off 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
2791 Hats will now replace life vests on every flight. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
2792 I only entertain in the event of emergency. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
2793 Here's another "low-cost" trick to get your money, ta-da! 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
2794 We ask you to please not get up while the in flight entertainment makes its way down the aisle 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
2795 And with a simple wave of my wand, I'll make your legroom, disappear! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
2796 They've got room for this but not my carryon. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
2797 No, I won't fly you to the moon. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
2798 Abracadabra...with a wave of this wand, your luggage will still disappear!" 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
2799 Complimentary on board entertainment. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
2800 It's a lot more enjoyable if you pretend it's magic 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
2801 Abracadabra! Here's to a pleasant flight. 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
2802 And for my next trick, I'll need a motion sickness bag... 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
2803 Just count to three!!! 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
2804 And just like that, I made all the free snacks disappear 1.1525 0.05829 59 52 5 2
2805 Today we are offering free pumpkin spice latte in honor of my new magic wand 1.1525 0.05829 59 52 5 2
2806 And now, for my next twick. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
2807 Okay everyone, we've landed and it's time to exit the plane. And a one, and a two. 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
2808 Abra cadabra no snacks or wifi for this flight! I made them magically disappear! 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
2809 And now, please pay close attention as I make all of your amenities disappear! 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
2810 And for my next trick, I shall make all your luggage disappear! 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
2811 While the Captain figures out while we have no fuel left, we now offer this magic trick free of charge. 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
2812 If you want to see the result of the magic, you need to upgrade to the first class. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
2813 From the Annals of White Male Privilege: “AIRLINE HOST WORKSHOPS MAGIC ACT DURING 3-HOUR TARMAC DELAY” 1.1525 0.05829 59 52 5 2
2814 And with a wave of the wand you shall be Covid-free! 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
2815 (In Jerry Seinfeld voice) So how about that airplane food? 1.1525 0.05829 59 52 5 2
2816 Presto! Watch that kicking kid disappear! 1.1525 0.06310 59 53 3 3
2817 And for my next trick, I will make this man disappear 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
2818 … and remember, always secure your *own* magician before helping others. 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
2819 Look at this magic wand … look at it … you will get veeeery tired … veery relaxed … you won’t be hungry … you won‘t be thirsty … with a huuuge desire to not speak at all … 1.1525 0.06310 59 53 3 3
2820 To help you forget your souls are all flying at an altitude of 20,000ft and the very real possibility of death I will magically turn this wand into a flower 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
2821 I'm Mickey your in-flight magician." 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
2822 And just like that,all of your legs are now three inches longer. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
2823 Life rafts are located below your seats... or are they? 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
2824 Next, I will pull an emotional support rabbit out of a hat. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
2825 Presto, now there is space in the overhead compartments. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
2826 Also, your portable electronic devices must be set to ‘abracadabra’ mode until an announcement is made upon arrival. Thank you.” 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
2827 Close your eyes. You're getting sleepy...Flying is fun! 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
2828 As your mid-flight entertainment, I will now attempt to saw your overhead luggage in half. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
2829 And for my next trick, I'm going to make your baggage instantly dissappear! 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
2830 The Wi-Fi is free now, but only if you watch this brief in-flight magic act. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
2831 And for my next feat, I'm going to trick you into watching the safety announcements. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
2832 I will magically make you fly this carrier again! 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
2833 I will now transform all your frequent flyer points into an edible meal. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
2834 And for my next trick, using only sleight of hand, I will demonstrate how to fasten and unfasten your seatbelt. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
2835 And now the plane will actually fly. 1.1515 0.05811 66 59 4 3
2836 When I tap you,you'll be gay too! 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
2837 Abra Cadabra! Your bags have disappeared! 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
2838 Pretzels or almonds? 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
2839 Now, who's the first passenger that thinks it is their right to be unruly on this flight? 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
2840 We can even make carry-on luggage disappear now! 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
2841 With an abracadabra and alakazam, you've entered the dimension of the personal space ban! 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
2842 We decided to upgrade our in-flight entertainment. 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
2843 You said this baby was bothering you? Let me show you a magic trick. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
2844 It's thirty dollars to make the pilots reappear. 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
2845 The on-board-movie may not be suitable for all viewers 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
2846 Hi, I'm Chad, and in case of an emergency, I'll be disappearing. 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
2847 Abracadabra and with the damaged engines, we are going to never land 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
2848 Welcome to Purgatory! 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
2849 Is . . . this your carry-on luggage? 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
2850 And this magic wand lady,gentleman,and toddler,is how I will be flying your plane today. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
2851 With just one wave of my wand, I'll make your leg room disappear. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
2852 I'd rather have the free booze 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
2853 Would you like to see your luggage disappear? Then fasten your seat belts. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
2854 Allow me to explain how this thing stays in the air 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
2855 Who would like to be transported instantly into the Airport Bar? 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
2856 My name is Ginger Ale, just ask for me! 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
2857 Here in economy, I change your seat into a floatation device. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
2858 Fasten your seat belts. Seats in upright position. Come on folks, it’s not magic!! 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
2859 Want to see me make the pilot disappear? 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
2860 Thank you for flying with us. We know you have choices. Here’s hoping your baggage made it onboard. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
2861 And now, ladies, gentlemen, children of all ages, a rarely seen feat...this plane will magically take off on time and arrive on time with all your luggage! 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
2862 My assistant does luggage. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
2863 Ladies and Gentlemen, for the next trick, please fasten your seat-belts and take out the life raft under your seat. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
2864 I’m afraid my hat has run out of pasta. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
2865 Instead of our regular safety briefing I decided to entertain you with some snappy patter and feats of magic 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
2866 Just a little turbulence folks, be over in a few secs. Our pilot with his keen sense of humor calls it the Ukraine Cloud. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
2867 For my next trick, I'm going to turn you all into decent and considerate human beings. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
2868 And in the event of a really serious emergency, we ask that you believe in magic. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
2869 I got magic! Your plane will be on time. 1.1500 0.06210 60 54 3 3
2870 48 hours in and we are still on the tarmac 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
2871 When I tap this wand the child behind you will never kick your seat for the duration of your flight. 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
2872 Now, if you’ll watch your flight attendants, your sense of privacy will disappear. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
2873 Young Jimmy finally found an audience. One might say, a captive audience. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
2874 Abracadabra, an oxygen mask will appear! 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
2875 For my next trick, the plane will circle the airport for an hour. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
2876 Welcome to the Magic Carpet Ride. Do you believe in magic? 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
2877 Abracadabra! Watch service disappear, right before your very eyes! 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
2878 And for my next trick, the crying babies will go to sleep... 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
2879 Which one of you wants to be transported to 1st class with champagne and filet mignon ? Sorry, I can only transport one of you even if you are a couple. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
2880 For those who purchased our new quiet time upgrade, I'll stop provoking the babies near your seats. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
2881 Now I shall pour a cup of coffee in turbulence. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
2882 Okay, so do you want that coke handed to you or should it appear with a cloud of smoke? 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
2883 And please enjoy your pretzel/cracker treats. They're magically delicious. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
2884 For my next trick, the plane will arrive early! 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
2885 Presto,your luggage has disappeared! 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
2886 Mom has been chosen to move to First Class. 1.1493 0.05728 67 60 4 3
2887 Due to budget cuts, I’m your in-flight entertainment. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
2888 Abracadabra! The risk of getting Covid-19 on a flight now is low! 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
2889 Et voilia! Your luggage is in the North Atlantic." 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
2890 If you bother me I can make you disappear. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
2891 Anyone else needing more legroom who wants to get shrunk? 1.1493 0.06110 67 61 2 4
2892 And for my next trick, I'll make this plane levitate. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
2893 We don’t even need the Bermuda Triangle to disappear! 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
2894 ‘and for my next trick, i’ll provide you with stress-free travel.’ @callahandalyjudge 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
2895 And now, for my best trick, a can of soda!" ::Uuuuu, Ahhhhh, the crowd cheers!: 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
2896 And now, you will be in a full upright and locked position. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
2897 No worries--with my help our landing should be perfectly safe. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
2898 Can I get a bid for 6 more inches of keg room? 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
2899 The wifi is down so everyone watch Mr. Stick. 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
2900 For my next trick, I'll make your patience reappear." 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
2901 I once worked with the Philharmonic orchestra but decided to try this new gig conducting on trains. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
2902 My next trick does not involve rabbits… or duct tape. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
2903 If you were expecting some legroom, you better hope for some magic. 1.1481 0.06691 54 49 2 3
2904 And now I’ll make the plane disappear. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
2905 I'm the captain, can anyone sing Amazing Grace? 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
2906 And for my next trick I”ll make cabinet attendant’s nose grow three inches when she says she hopes you enjoy your flight 1.1481 0.05303 81 73 4 4
2907 Behold! Your first class meal has disappeared! 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
2908 For my next trick, I will now make you believe that you have leg room. 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
2909 And now... the plane will be going down, ta-daaa 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
2910 aaand... POOF! We no longer accept cash! 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
2911 For my next trick, I will make airplane food taste great! 1.1481 0.06691 54 49 2 3
2912 With a wave of this wand, I will make COVID disappear. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
2913 No talking back or I shall make you disappear. 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
2914 who wants to disappear in the air?" 1.1475 0.05647 61 54 5 2
2915 For my next trick, we will stay on the on the runway with no working bathrooms for five hours. 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
2916 Magic Matt performs his "disappearing plane" trick by flying over the Bermuda Triangle. 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
2917 And for my GREATEST trick of all, everyone on board will now power down their electronic devices for takeoff. 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
2918 Checked and boarded with nothing to fear, I will make your luggage disappear! 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
2919 And if your vest does not inflate… 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
2920 And for my final trick I shall conjure some spirits. Presto! Eight Spirit flights on the taxiway before us. 1.1475 0.06112 61 55 3 3
2921 And now for my next trick. I'll actually get you there on time! 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
2922 Don't worry ladies & gentlemen, I promise this is not an episode Manifest. 1.1475 0.05647 61 54 5 2
2923 Alla-KaZAM! YOU get a hemorrhoid! 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
2924 And abracadabra, your food trays fold up.” 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
2925 AND YOU WIN A APACK OF PEANUTS 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
2926 I’d love to make the crew appear, but that is not part of my act. 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
2927 When I wave this wand your luggage will be waiting for you even though we are not landing in that airport. . . Are you ready? 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
2928 For my last trick, I must first say the magic words: “Does anyone have any experience flying a plane?” 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
2929 And for my next trick, I will increase your leg room by 2 inches 1.1471 0.05647 68 61 4 3
2930 Abracadabra,all our masks just disappeared. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
2931 How about a chorus of "My Beautiful Balloon"? 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
2932 Ladies, gentlemen, and... no one else, since no other genders exist! I will now show you an amazing Russian trick. This magic plane has not been inspected in months and lacks some parts, but it still flies! 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
2933 We apologize that Wi-Fi is unavailable on this flight,but we hope you enjoy our alternative in flight entertainment 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
2934 And now, ladies and gentlemen, I shall perform my famous disappearing act! 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
2935 No more free in flight snacks so we went with the magic show instead. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
2936 And then with the magic of fly by wire….. your drink will appear. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
2937 For my first trick, I will make all in-flight amenities disappear. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
2938 ..and your luggage will be waiting at your home by supplying your address and credit card information. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
2939 Abracadabra! Your luggage is now on an entirely different plane! 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
2940 In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, you will magically realize why you should have paid attention during the safety demonstration. 1.1467 0.05265 75 67 5 3
2941 And now for my next trick I’ll make your leg room and wallet shrink at the same time! 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
2942 And now, who'd like to be sawn in half? 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
2943 And abra-ca-dabra, this is what 15 years of acting school has brought you today! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
2944 And in the event of an emergency, I will make a life jacket appear underneath your very seat. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
2945 Now you see the pilot...and now you don't. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
2946 In an airline cost cutting measure, we won't serve you a meal but I will dazzle you with a series of magic tricks. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
2947 This magic wand is what the Fed uses to control inflation. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
2948 With a wave of the wand,pretend we can fly! Terry Shotland Longmeadow, MA. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
2949 And now I am pleased to introduce our advanced safety measures for this flight. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
2950 would you like to teleport 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
2951 They cut out movies so I will be your in-flight entertainment. Behold, Steward the magnificent!! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
2952 Please! 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
2953 Gee whiz—it's not a toddy stick 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
2954 Now you see the captain, now you don't! 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
2955 A little magic on this flight so there won't be any fights. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
2956 Before my next trick; please reach into your overhead compartment... 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
2957 Not on the ground, in the air No delays or cancellations No bathroom needs, only blue sky So says Tarmac, the Magnificent. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
2958 Air Marshall at your service. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
2959 Hey presto 250 people fit into this tiny metal box! 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
2960 Abracadabra! We have now reached our cruising altitude. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
2961 I can read minds, too. You're thinking it's a miracle no one has assaulted him yet -am I right? 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
2962 Repeat after me: Bibbidi bobbidi boo, I won't be late for my connecting flight. 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
2963 Ta-da! Leg room!! 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
2964 … and with a second wave of my wand I will turn the airplanes engine back on! 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
2965 Voila! The train is now 30 minutes late. 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
2966 And for my next trick,I will make the entire aircraft disappear. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
2967 I’ll make the plane disappear 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
2968 Abrakadabra alikazam.. only 18 more hours until we land! 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
2969 I'M GOING TO MAKE THIS THING FLY. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
2970 When I say the magic word and wave the magic wand, the flight will become a pleasant experience. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
2971 Alakazeem Alakazam Watch me make this airplane go BAM! 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
2972 Just imagine - a food and beverage cart! 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
2973 The Kosher meals are magical. 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
2974 And I can make your checked luggage appear! 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
2975 Yes I do play for tips. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
2976 And now for my disappearing act... 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
2977 …and the pumpkin beer is on the house! 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
2978 Abracadabra, using the science of airline marketing, all your legs are now 4 inches shorter, so you can actually fit into your seat. 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
2979 Mind if I conjure up my taxidermied iguana from your overhead bin? 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
2980 I"m flying off to vote. I'm independent, not left or right... and I care about you bigly! 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
2981 How about some magic entertainment as we circle Atlanta? 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
2982 I just made 8.3% of the checked bags on this flight disappear! 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
2983 I don't care how good he is...............it still doesn't help the food 1.1449 0.05569 69 62 4 3
2984 And for our next trick, we'll make your luggage disappear at the arrival airport. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
2985 Abracabulkhead! 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
2986 Sir, I'll take your order once I've finished my set. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
2987 Its’s elementary magic! Poof! Your luggage has disappeared! 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
2988 Our in-flight entertainment system is down. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
2989 Before there were TVs on planes... 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
2990 And now for my next trick, taking off at our scheduled departure time! 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
2991 Buckle up, folks, I'm running for Congress! 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
2992 And for the finale, I will magically erase your memory of that long delay, replacing it with this new annoyance that is hopefully less bad. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
2993 Have no fear, have no fear, I'll make the pilot reappear! 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
2994 Normally, I'd have a rabbit dissapear - but TSA confiscated Muffy. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
2995 We should have read the fine print on the safety card in the seat-back pocket in front of us 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
2996 And for my next trick, we'll arrive on time! 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
2997 Now, let’s see what I can do for snacks 1.1429 0.05925 63 57 3 3
2998 Abracadabra, the kid won't cry or kick your seat the entire flight. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
2999 When I wave my wand, you will all be nice to the airplane staff and not attack them, yell, or complain. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
3000 This 7.3-hour magic show should help the time pass quicker and energize you guys, trust me! 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
3001 And watch the overhead space, disappear! 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
3002 This is how people disappear 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
3003 And now, the small child behind you, sir, will begin kicking the back of your seat. Abracadabra! 1.1429 0.05493 70 63 4 3
3004 Voila! A flight delay! 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
3005 Should we experience a sudden drop in cabin pressure,face masks will magically appear for each passenger. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
3006 Thank you for joining us on Spirits airlines. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
3007 Someday I 1.1429 0.05925 63 57 3 3
3008 Just remember,if all else fails,today 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
3009 Let me entertain you 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
3010 Now watch as I make your luggage disappear. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
3011 Now watch me pull a rabbit out of the overhead compartment. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
3012 And presto when we arrive I will have made all your luggage magically disappear! 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
3013 On the count of three… leg room! Okay 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
3014 And now, watch your tray tables disappear! 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
3015 And if any of you have a rabbit here as an emotional support pet, ... . 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
3016 In the unlikely event of a water landing, I will pull a rabbit out of my hat. 1.1429 0.05476 63 56 5 2
3017 Abracadabra! You now believe that we actually care about your well-being 1.1429 0.04833 84 75 6 3
3018 And now, for our next trick, we will arrive on time! 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
3019 For my next trick, I will make two hours on the tarmac seem like three. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
3020 Shazam! Your wish for two more inches of personal space is considered. 1.1429 0.05925 63 57 3 3
3021 “Would you like to wish for a small, unfulfilling snack?” 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
3022 The upgrade to presto economy was not worth it... 1.1429 0.05476 63 56 5 2
3023 And who would like to become the pilot? 1.1429 0.05476 63 56 5 2
3024 And for my next act... I'll make legroom disappear before your very eyes. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
3025 I'm the Frequent Flier Fairy. Only 10,000 more miles, and you get to do this all over again! 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
3026 And with a wave of my magic wand, I make the snack cart disappear 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
3027 And that's how we stick the landing. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
3028 Abracadabra, your carry-ons in the overhead compartments have now shifted! 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
3029 In 3 seconds, I'll make an air marshal appear! 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
3030 I would really prefer to just go back to the terminal. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
3031 Thank you, I’ll be here all flight. 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
3032 As we land, you feel refreshed and blood is rushing into your legs 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
3033 The illusion of the tarmac taxing torture. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
3034 To Dallas? Todah!” 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
3035 While our plane is rapidly plummeting to almost certain doom, how'd everybody like to see some magic tricks? 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
3036 I'm sorry, but Harry Potter was unavailable for this flight. He works for a competitor who must not be named. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
3037 For my next act, I will make the plane disappear. 1.1408 0.05418 71 64 4 3
3038 Abracadabra hocus pocus - your luggage will appear on carousel 5B. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
3039 I figured that you fell for the line that you will take-off in the next hour, so maybe you will fall for this. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
3040 HOCUS POCUS ABRACADABRA . Your luggage will be in Paris. I mean London. Sorry i mean Tampa. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
3041 You are getting verrrry sleepy. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
3042 For my next trick I am going to make all your overhead bags disappear . 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
3043 ...and for my next trick, we will be sitting on the runway for another 3 hours before departure. Kazaam! 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
3044 Our new mint-flavored turkey jerky will guarantee a sweet dream during the flight. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
3045 In the event you see a dove flying through the cabin…. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
3046 This show doesn’t fly in first class. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
3047 stewardess? no! i’m the magical thinking fairy, here to charm the other passengers into assuming your toddler’s 1st class seat is because you’ve worked hard and deserve it, not because your parents are loaded. but, sure, call me whatever, you’re rich 1.1408 0.05418 71 64 4 3
3048 Airlines are getting pretty desperate lately 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
3049 The monotony of this long boring flight is about to disappear. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
3050 Now I'll make your meal and leg room disappear 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
3051 Hey passengers,watch me pull a bag of peanuts out of my hat! 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
3052 Watch me disappear into thin air! 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
3053 and that is where your father went to go get milk 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
3054 …And for my next trick, your luggage will disappear. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
3055 That will be an extra fee of $12.99! 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
3056 For my next magic trick I will take away even more of your legroom. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
3057 Sleep, pretty wantons, do not cry and you will get an extra snack! Julie E Dawson, Saint Louis, MO 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
3058 No, it was the other guy who made your legroom disappear. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
3059 When you wake up this will be all over. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
3060 And for my next trick,I will disappear until we land. 1.1404 0.05838 57 51 4 2
3061 I am here to save your life. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
3062 Have a magical pleasant ride! 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
3063 Fasten your seatbelts. The magic carpet is taxiing for takeoff. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
3064 Welcome to the Magic Carpet: I am your personal Magician during our comfortable flight:" Vipin Bery, Toronto vipin.bery@gmail.co 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
3065 For my next trick, a three-course meal, glass of brandy and three feet of legroom. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
3066 Presto! Your baggage has been lost. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
3067 I'm from the TSA. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
3068 Now sit back and relax. I’ll turn the screams of the children all the way up 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
3069 At least he’s not gunna rap about it 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
3070 " Now watch me draw the captain from my hat.” 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
3071 Rest assured my magic has fixed those seats! When you tilt your seat back, you won't hit the knees of the person behind you! 1.1404 0.06352 57 52 2 3
3072 As you can see, we are working on the left engine failure" 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
3073 Your legroom will magically reappear upon disembarking. 1.1404 0.05838 57 51 4 2
3074 Now, for my next trick, I'll make the oxygen masks disappear! 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
3075 Folks, this is your captain speaking. It will take a miracle to get you to your destination! 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
3076 Welcome to Wizard Airlines! In case of engine failure, the flying broomsticks are under your seats. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
3077 Your wish for a safe landing is my magic command. 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
3078 This is all a fantasy 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
3079 And in case of a loss of cabin pressure, rabbits will fall from above 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
3080 And with the wave of this wand, I shall make two more inches of legroom disappear! 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
3081 And now, I'll make your luggage reappear...in Tacoma. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
3082 I rang for assistance, not to become an assistant. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
3083 Presto! Just like that the stewardess is now the pilot. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
3084 When I count to three you’ll magically appreciate how hundreds of dollars for your seat justifies one pack of peanuts! 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
3085 And…in case the oxygen mask doesn’t work…” 1.1389 0.05346 72 65 4 3
3086 In lieu of any food or drinks I'll perform my magic tricks throughout this 11 hour flight. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
3087 Hope you enjoy the new in flight entertainment...since we can no longer access streaming content. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
3088 : Voilà, I made masks disappear, not Covid. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
3089 Guess 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
3090 My plan is to distract you from realizing that you are crowded together, sitting in cramped seats on a plane, weighing 606,000 pounds, moving at 575 miles per hour at 30,000 feet in the air! Ta da! 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
3091 My first magic trick is that your flight will be on time. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
3092 Can you magically move me and my wife to first class? 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
3093 Watch me make the captain disappear 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
3094 For my final trick, if all potentially disruptive and unruly passengers would please raise their hands. 1.1385 0.05750 65 59 3 3
3095 And now for my next trick, everybody's check-in luggage will magically disappear! 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
3096 On this airline, we can make even your carry-on luggage disappear! 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
3097 And, for my next trick, I will beam you up! 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
3098 Et voila! Your desire to ask me for anything has vanished! 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
3099 Now we request your full attention as the flight attendants demonstrate the magic features of this aircraft. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
3100 And for my next trick, I'll cause a member of our inflight audience to enjoy misdirected abuse. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
3101 When I snap my fingers you will think flying is fun! 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
3102 On the count of 3, you will go to economy and give the first-class seat to me. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
3103 I'll be your pilot this morning: up, up, up and away! 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
3104 I shall now make your comfort disappear. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
3105 One of these days, my act will finally take off 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
3106 Don't worry it's not turbulence -- just my wand failing tricks. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
3107 I’m just here to put myself through college by working two jobs at once 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
3108 And now, for my next trick, I will make the in-flight WiFi we promised you on every promotional ad throughout your booking…DISAPPEAR! 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
3109 I just made the pilot disappear. Does anyone here know how to fly a jet? 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
3110 I know it looks impressive but it only does soft drinks and tea. 1.1379 0.05741 58 52 4 2
3111 Welcome aboard the LIRR - if you don't have a ticket, don't worry! We welcome you to our new cannabis lounge toward the rear of the train. 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
3112 If you will spare me a few moments, I have to go to the cockpit and acitvate the flight crew. 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
3113 First star on the right and straight until sunrise! 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
3114 Don’t worry, I also use the baton to fly the plane. 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
3115 And now I will turn you all into members of the Ultra MAGA group that is trying to eliminate the month of April. 1.1379 0.05741 58 52 4 2
3116 If this works, we will land safely, 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
3117 And for MY comfort and safety, you will be happy with everything about this flight! 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
3118 ...and if we crash you'll be magically delicious. 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
3119 And now, I'll make all of the huge wheely bags, which you should have checked, but carried on instead, disappear 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
3120 And for my next trick, you'll all fly. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
3121 And for my next trick, watch me make your luggage disappear! 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
3122 I will predict how many times we will have to circle the airport before being allowed to land. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
3123 This next trick will be a smash. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
3124 And that’s how you make the pilots disappear! Now who likes up close magic? 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
3125 if you believe in magic and wish real hard the plane will takeoff on time 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
3126 and then we're there! 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
3127 ...and in the case of the loss of cabin pressure... 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
3128 With science optional airlines resort to alternate methods to get their planes in the air. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
3129 Don’t blame the pilot when this plane magically submerges underwater in three seconds.” #BestIGot #downtrodden 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
3130 My talent agent told me to go take a flight. 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
3131 Through the power vested in me by magic, I now declare you all immune. 1.1375 0.04950 80 72 5 3
3132 I can make your bags disappear and save you $100..... 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
3133 I was showing the Captain a little magic trick, and I accidentally made him disappear. Does either of you know how to fly a plane? 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
3134 My training was with Aer Lingus 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
3135 First Class perk 1.1373 0.06275 51 46 3 2
3136 This ends the pre-hijack entertainment. 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
3137 Thank you for Gathering for 'Magic the Plane'. 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
3138 I am going to fool Penn & Teller by flying this plane with only my magic wand. 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
3139 I will perform 3 tricks for you. We will leave on time, your luggage will arrive with you, and you are now in first class! 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
3140 Sure, my MAIN gig is airplane pilot, but with AI flying the plane, it's time for "Enchantment at 30,000 Feet! 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
3141 For my next trick, I will make your connecting flights disappear!” 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
3142 And now I'll magically bump your family off this flight, too." 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
3143 And for my next trick I’m arranging that only one half of you will be missing your next flight. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
3144 And now, until we reach L.A. in two hours, it's Melvin the Mysterious. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
3145 For my last trick, even though I just got here myself, I'd like to welcome you all to Cleveland. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
3146 Don't worry! I'll learn how to make the flight crew reappear at my magic lesson next week. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
3147 And just like magic,you’ll be flying! 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
3148 Apparently, no one was paying attention to the flight attendants, so we're trying a new program! The exits are somewhere back there...now, does anyone have a wristwatch I can borrow? 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
3149 This is our cute little way to let you know your airline miles have disappeared. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
3150 And now, you and your baggage will disappear into thin air! 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
3151 Alakazam, alakazedmill, the back of that seat is your personal treadmill. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
3152 Your bags have now disappeared! 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
3153 Neerghc chrestxt, Arxhttdaa! 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
3154 It's better if you're not conscious for this . . . 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
3155 When I touch you with this wand you’ll be our pilot because we certainly need one. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
3156 3...2...1... Open Sesame!” Enjoy the mixed nuts, folks. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
3157 For a $10 courtesy fee, a tap from the magic wand will put you to sleep in your godawful, narrow, uncomfortable seat until we land . . . 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
3158 The bunny wasn’t strapped in. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
3159 This next spell will protect you from the airborne droplets of the strangers burrowed into your personal space. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
3160 Whoopee! 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
3161 How else did you think we keep these things in the air?" 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
3162 At 42,000 feet I will make us all disappear into thin air. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
3163 ...and now, the disappearing seatbelts! 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
3164 Hear more about my BFA,one-man show,and ensuing financial ruin by pressing the overhead call button! 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
3165 You won't believe my next trick. I'll make a flight attendant appear in the aisle with a beverage cart. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
3166 I'm your captain, and I'll be flying the aircraft remotely, today. 1.1356 0.05648 59 53 4 2
3167 When you don't make it in showbiz, there's always Southwest... 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
3168 What a magical trip we are on... where women become men and men become women. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
3169 And presto!, your luggage disappears 1.1356 0.05648 59 53 4 2
3170 Who needs a bridge? Crimea is just a flick of the wrist away. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
3171 And just like that once we are airborne our two hour delay will disappear. 1.1356 0.05648 59 53 4 2
3172 All he needed to do was stay seated 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
3173 Please note. The rules clearly disqualify anyone from the search who attacks me on the way to the rainbow. 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
3174 And, voilà! The human dignity of everyone in coach has disappeared. Next time, consider business class." 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
3175 And if you tip well, I'll make your baggage magical reappear. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
3176 Now repeat after me. I can fly, I can fly, I can fly. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
3177 I’m here to distract you from the 400 mile an hour winds up ahead. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
3178 Apologies for the 3-hour delay. Lucky for you, I work a second job. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
3179 I will now make this airplane disappear. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
3180 And for my next trick, I'll make this flight arrive on time! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
3181 Included in the cost of your flight! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
3182 First it was in-flight meals. Now I can make your connecting flight disappear. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
3183 I'm not really magic, mainly just hear to distract you from the odd noises coming from the engine. Now who wants to see a rabbit? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
3184 Swoosh! We'll be touching down in 5 minutes. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
3185 In case of emergency, this flare can be used as a magic wand. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
3186 Here at Southwest we sparkle 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
3187 This is how we do it now. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
3188 I'm always looking for new audiences. "Abracadabra, you now have an underage child, who is sitting behind you! 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
3189 Before I was a pilot... 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
3190 This is our new Flying is Fun schtick! 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
3191 Now watch as I watch as I pull a large, obese rabbit out of my hat and sit him right between seat 5A and 5B! 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
3192 Watch as I make your legroom slowly disappear. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
3193 Voila! I made the pretzels disappear. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
3194 And for your first class dining pleasure I will produce braised rabbit from my hat and some delicate squab from inside my vest. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
3195 I’ve just made the beverage service disappear! 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
3196 And now, for my final trick, I will make your luggage...disappear! 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
3197 As your pilot, I guarantee your bags will magically not be lost. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
3198 Now……check your leg room. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
3199 Abra carbonated water,tea or me? 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
3200 And abracadabra I will make your luggage reappear after you file the necessary forms in baggage claim. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
3201 Due to the pilot shortage, I bestow upon you the ability to fly this plane. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
3202 For my next trick, I will make your bags disappear! 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3203 I'll make the cabin pressure disappear. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3204 Who wants to see the pilot disappear? 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
3205 Your life vests are now toilet seat covers. 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
3206 Thanks for flying Magic Air and if you find your luggage is missing ...don't blame me... 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3207 Close your eyes, breath deeply and listen to the sound of my voice 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3208 look out your windows folks, that's right, i made the wings disappear! 1.1333 0.04777 75 67 6 2
3209 For my first trick, I shall make the plane fly without wings. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
3210 And for my next trick, we will arrive at the gate on time. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3211 Welcome to the magic skies of Abracadabra Airlines! 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3212 Just a few more minutes folks! The rabbit is loose in the cockpit. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3213 . . . and in the event of a water landing, we'll be rescued by a pod of dolphins. 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
3214 And for my next trick, I shall make your legroom disappear into thin air! 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3215 If you allow me to saw you in half, you'll magically have more room! 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3216 You may notice the No Cock Punching the Magician light is lit. 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
3217 Poof! It's 20 years ago. No children, no worries. You're on your way to Vegas, all expenses paid 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3218 For my next trick; a flight without incident. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3219 And now for my next trick, I will make this mechanical delay disappear. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3220 Thank you for flying Leprechaun Air. In the event of a loss of cabin pressure a harp will descend. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3221 Masks are no longer required on flights. COVID 19 has just magically disappeared! 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
3222 My greatest feat! The baby stopped crying! 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3223 If you'll just close your eyes for a few seconds while I wave my wand, you won't even know that we're crashing. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3224 As a flight attendant Jacob suffered all manner of indignities... but when the fasten seat belt sign came on... 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
3225 And just like that, all your luggage has disappeared! 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
3226 And for my next trick I will saw you in half to give you more legroom. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
3227 Since you ask, I'll admit that the Astounding Anton, entertaining in first-class, possesses some great magic--therefore I, Perplexing Lyle, am currently short one Beautiful Assistant. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
3228 For my next trick, I will make your reluctance to assault a flight attendant disappear." 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
3229 Hi, I'm your magician flight attendant. For this trick, I'll end the airline staffing shortages & erase all delays & cancellations. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
3230 Presto! I just made your legroom disappear. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
3231 And who wants to get out of the middle seat ? 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
3232 Don't blink if you don't know what's in there! 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
3233 And for the finale, all passengers will be well behaved for the duration of the flight 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
3234 While the seat belt sign is on, stay seated and enjoy our new trans-atlantic entertainment show. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
3235 Ladies and gentlemen: Is there a magician's assistant on board? It's not an emergency, but it would really bring my act to life. 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
3236 While they knew better than to believe, all passengers hoped The Amazing Steve really could give them an extra 6 inches of leg room. 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
3237 This motherfucker… 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
3238 A journey is a thrilling adventure .... enjoy it. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
3239 The Captain has advised that we’re about to crash, so let’s party during our last days.Thank you for flying Trump airlines. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
3240 Voilà, masks are no longer required! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
3241 I need two volunteers so I can make their carry-on disappear 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
3242 Let’s save the world’s fossil fuels! Close your eyes and repeat after me: ‘airplane, floaty-float!’ 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
3243 Since they couldn’t find the source of the mechanical problem, they’re relying on me to get the plane off the ground 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
3244 For ten bucks I'll make your luggage arrive when you do. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
3245 Now please buckle your seatbelts and suspend all belief about inflight service and ontime arrival including your luggage. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
3246 The rabbit has disappeared into thin air! 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
3247 Welcome to where the seats are too small. 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
3248 Repeat after me: flying is glamorous. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
3249 Headphones? It'll make your money disappear. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
3250 And for our next trick, your luggage will miraculously dissappear without a trace unless you pay a $50 special handling charge. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
3251 Ahhh…watch as I make your connecting flight disappear. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
3252 For my next trick, I'll show you what quietly quitting looks like! 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 4 2
3253 Steve in 5E? I will now make your luggage disappear! 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
3254 And for my final trick I'll unnoticeably move the seats three inches closer while raising airfare costs 15%" 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
3255 Abaracadabra, everyone will now listen to the pre-flight instructions and safety demonstrations. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
3256 Et voila, your seat cost twice as much as last year. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
3257 For my next magic trick,I will make the left side of the fuselage reappear. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
3258 Gas is too expensive so today, everyone get out your wands and say “wingardium leviosa” 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
3259 Voila, the wipe has you fully protected. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
3260 Hello my baby Hello my honey Hello my ragtime gal 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
3261 Since this flight doesn't have TVs, I will entertain you for the duration with my amateur magic act. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
3262 Now I’ll make those of you in the front fit in your seats. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
3263 Magic, beef or chicken? 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
3264 With my next trick, I will remove one olive from every salad! 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
3265 And presto, shoes have reappeared on the feet of the gentleman in 9-A. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
3266 The captain says we’re surely gonna crash and he’s got no trick that can save your ass! 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
3267 When my little light goes on, it's your turn to use the restroom. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
3268 For my next magic trick, everyone gets a free biscoff cookie! 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
3269 Fear not! Your nervous system will reappear in just 5 hours and 13 minutes. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
3270 First, I’ll make any trace of the rational, mature adult in you…Disappear! 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
3271 Presto! Your Ex is in the Overhead joining you for vacation. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
3272 And for my next trick, oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
3273 I will now pull another object out of thin air.... 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
3274 And with a wave of this wand, free checked bags, drinks and friendly service will all disappear! 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
3275 Pay no attention to this turbulence. I'm going to make it go away! 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
3276 Poof...eternity...here we come... 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
3277 Is this your seat? 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
3278 Do you think I can pull some Hairs out of my hat? 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
3279 For my next trick, I will make this plane land safely at the closest airport 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
3280 No. I will not make myself disappear. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
3281 And now,with a wave of my magic wand, I’m sending your luggage to Budapest! Welcome to Orlando! 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
3282 Now for my next trick I will disappear as soon as you buckle your seatbelts. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
3283 Guess what! I just made the pilot disappear! 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
3284 And for my next trick,I'll make all your checked bags ~disappear~ 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
3285 Want to see a magic trick, I'll make the pilot disappear. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
3286 And for my next trick, I will make more of your time disappear as we're delayed another hour on this tarmac 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
3287 For my next trick, I’ll turn the ‘Fasten Seatbelt’ off! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
3288 You’ll never fly with your seat belt belted 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
3289 Announcement! The captain has promised we'll land before this thing turns back into a cucumber at midnight. Bibidi-bobidi-boo! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
3290 Every time we take this airline our luggage disappears. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
3291 That's what I'm saying -- round-trip tickets to Belfast, on the count of three! 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
3292 Thank you for flying Tenerife! Now watch as I make fog out of thin air on this dimly lit runway! Happy March 27,1977! 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
3293 And for my final act... I will make this plane disappear. 1.1290 0.05856 62 57 2 3
3294 In the event of a deep water landing, close your eyes and tap your heels together three times, while thinking to yourself there's no place like home. 1.1290 0.05856 62 57 2 3
3295 Now, watch, as we make free carry-on luggage... DISAPPEAR! 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
3296 My name is Saucy Seward, your song and dance man 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
3297 ...and hocus pocus, once I wave my wand (and there's a loss of cabin pressure), oxygen masks will fall out from above. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
3298 And now for my next trick, I'll magically shrink your legroom space even further. Don't worry, you won't feel a thing. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
3299 Zip-zap-zubious.. and your overweight charges are added to your overall total. 1.1290 0.05856 62 57 2 3
3300 Poof! You’re in first class! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
3301 Sometimes I have to use a little magic to get these overhead bins closed. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
3302 And that's how you get a free upgrade to first class! 1.1286 0.05354 70 64 3 3
3303 And my next magic trick is to ensure us all of a safe landing! 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
3304 I will take you to business class 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
3305 And now enjoy your beverage and sit tight while I magically keep the "Fasten your seat belt" sign stay on for the remaining three hours of our flight. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
3306 I guess they really are trying to put the magic back in flying." "Ya, well I wish he would cut me in half so I can get some leg room! 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
3307 For my next trick, the airline will make your money DISAPPEAAARRR... 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
3308 Don't worry. The engines are failing, but I just made a dove appear in each wing. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
3309 I'm sorry sir, not even I can summon more legroom 1.1273 0.05834 55 50 3 2
3310 Your flight attendant has vanished! 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
3311 Due to unexpected turbulence on the last flight, there will be no rabbit tricks. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
3312 For my next trick, I'll make the wings disappear 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
3313 Now look under your seat! 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
3314 Now for my next trick. I will magically make first class food disappear. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
3315 And for my next trick, I’ll make the rest of your legroom disappear! 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
3316 I've never used magic to break a child's legs before! 1.1273 0.05834 55 50 3 2
3317 I can not be held responsible if your luggsge disappears! 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
3318 If the plane suddenly plummets from the sky, don't worry folks its all part of the act. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
3319 In the event of an attack by Lord Voldemort and the Death Eaters, a wand and list of defensive spells can be found in the seat pocket in front of you. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
3320 I aim to please! You folks said you were magic wanderers 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
3321 Don’t worry sir, there will be no crying babies on this flight. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
3322 And now for my final trick, I will reveal why you insist on making terrible choices like flying domestic economy. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
3323 You can ask me for anything but a bigger seat. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
3324 And "POOF!" COVID has disappeared! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
3325 For our first class flyers, I can produce a dollop of foie gras, a flute of Dom Perignon, or have the small being behind you disappear. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
3326 Sit back, relax, and enjoy your flight of fancy. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
3327 For my next trick....you will enjoy being packed in like sardines. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
3328 If I tap this wand three times, your flight is magically cancelled and good luck to you. 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
3329 Pilot schmilot, it’s time for some magic! For my first trick, I’ve made my co-pilot disappear!!! Now, for my second trick, I’ll need a volunteer from the aud- sir, would you please stop screaming, I’m trying to work up here! 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
3330 ...and if you cause any problems on this flight...my magic wand will make your luggage disappear 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
3331 Would you like to see my new trick by making the plane disappear into thin air? 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
3332 "Wanna see me disappear that building over there? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
3333 The pilot and co-pilot should be back in the cockpit as soon as I figure out how to make them reappear.” 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
3334 I am here to remind you that without magic, planes don't fly. 1.1270 0.05766 63 58 2 3
3335 Remember folks, treat me nice and and I'll make sure you can use the Crew's bathroom! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
3336 Just say the magic words, and I'll make your luggage appear. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
3337 …and lastly our aircraft is equipped with our proprietary anti crash technology. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
3338 Welcome to our flight. I'll be your good behavior fairy today. 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
3339 I just made your luggage disappear! 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
3340 I hear the new attendant is upset about the no smoke policy near the bathroom mirrors 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
3341 Happy Halloween from your friendly flying sorcerers! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
3342 Yes, we will arrive late, but watch as I turn this wand into flowers! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
3343 Simply flick the wrist, and the emergency door appears. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
3344 Say “abracadabra” three times, and I can make the quiet car…disappear. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
3345 Now say one two three and off we’ll go! 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
3346 And now I'll make your checked-in luggage, DISAPPEAR!" 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
3347 If the cabin pressure falls, your oxygen mask will magically appear. 1.1268 0.04885 71 64 5 2
3348 We are testing out a new way of attending to your in-flight experience. Look for your opinion survey to let us know what you think about it. 1.1268 0.04885 71 64 5 2
3349 And for my next trick, I will show you how to fasten a seat belt. 1.1268 0.04885 71 64 5 2
3350 Now that we have discontinued food service, I just made your hunger go away. 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
3351 Rabbit, squirrel or turtle ? 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
3352 And now for my next trick,something rarely even attempted and never done: A truly delicious airline meal! 1.1268 0.04885 71 64 5 2
3353 Close your eyes while I wave the wand, when I say open them circulation will have returned to your legs. 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
3354 If you are seated in an exit row, you may be required to assist me. 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
3355 For my next trick, I'll find your luggage. 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
3356 Hello, everyone. I was hired by the top management of this airline to use my techno-powers of magical bookkeeping to zero-out everyone's frequent-flyer miles and transfer all of the money saved to help to fund their multi-million-dollar bonuses." 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
3357 Attention passengers. The Captain has turned off the 'No Cheesy Magicians in the Aisle' sign. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
3358 Watch and be amazed as pull comfortable leg room out of thin air....said no flight attendant ever... 1.1250 0.05210 72 66 3 3
3359 And for my final trick, I'll make your luggage disappear! 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
3360 Watch as I make your checked luggage disappear, never to be found again! 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
3361 "Abracadabra, the frills have disappeared" 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
3362 And for my next trick, I'll make your checked bags disappear... 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
3363 Presto-chango! Your fees just doubled! 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
3364 Hocus pocus The guy who woke us 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
3365 For my next trick, I’ll make your pretzels disappear. Forever. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
3366 Flying is hard, but magic is easy. 1.1250 0.05669 48 43 4 1
3367 Let me check the overhead compartment for more leg room. 1.1250 0.05734 56 51 3 2
3368 How does the 777 jumbo stay in the air? Once you know the secret, promise not to tell... 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
3369 wanna see who’s in my tall top hat?? 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
3370 Are you willing and able to have your mind blown? 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
3371 You can't work on a loco-motive without being a little crazy... 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
3372 for my next and most popular trick I will make the child fall asleep 1.1250 0.04824 48 42 6 0
3373 I'm not sure if a cupcake is a type of muffin or if a muffin is a type of cupcake. 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
3374 Just one brief wave of the wand and hubby is gone! 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
3375 Abracadabra! Your fear of travel has disappeared. Alakazam! Your hatred of travel has returned. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
3376 There’s nothing magical about flight except that we’re up here with no strings attached. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
3377 For my next trick, I will make the pilot and co-pilot reappear. 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
3378 Is THIS your copy of Vanity Fair and empty bag of pretzels? 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
3379 And with a wave of my wand, your legs are immobilized for the duration of the flight! 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
3380 And when my act is over, it puts us on auto-pilot. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
3381 And now, for my next trick, I'll double the number of seats and halve the leg room in front of your very eyes! 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
3382 Abracadabra, it’s $20 for pasta! 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
3383 Unfasten your seat belts! We're going to fly out of here!" 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
3384 Altogether, let's wish for the return of on board meals. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
3385 This wand is called "carbon offset." When I wave it three times, this flight will have contributed nothing to global warming! 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
3386 Okay, we need to wish harder, ‘cause the captain’s not reappearin’! 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
3387 Now let’s hear this charm very carefully when I cast it to this aeroplane: it’s Wingardium Levi-O-sar, not Wingardium Levio-SAR! 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
3388 So, for the right incentive I can make sure your luggage arrives at your destination, upgrade you to first class or just go away. 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
3389 The bad news is, we're leaking fuel. The good news is, you have "Ricky and his Tricky Sticky" to keep this baby airborne! 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
3390 If your luggage reappears, I have another trick. I saw it in half. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
3391 Inflationary pressure limits our supply of trained pilots and supplemental oxygen. But we do offer these magic wands. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
3392 Close your eyes, keep them shut, and, 'Poof,' you're all upgraded to First Class! 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
3393 If you like my act I’ll let you fill out the form for the mile high club credit card. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
3394 For my first trick I will make the airplane disappear. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
3395 Ok, folks, please watch as I pull a handful of Ambien out of my hat. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
3396 Your oxygen bag and floatation device will magically appear and will, poof, be fitted on you. No need to help your child. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
3397 ....and after you open your eyes you will all, each one of you, have both an aisle 'and' a window. 1.1231 0.05146 65 59 4 2
3398 Watch carefully...I will use this magic Wand to immediately place a disorderly passenger on the wing of the plane. Good fortune is not expected. Don't even get me started on luck. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
3399 Perfect! This is the time when I can put on my show and no one can leave! 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
3400 Sorry, this is the Entertainment you get for not booking business class. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
3401 ll 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
3402 Hey, Sarah" " Yes, Tom" " lets never fly spirit again" 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
3403 And for my next trick, I will produce a mysterious bag of 5$ chips. 1.1228 0.05636 57 52 3 2
3404 Good News! It's 2016 and Hilary wins! 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
3405 For my next trick, I will turn on the fasten seatbelt sign! Isn’t safety magical? 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
3406 You may think it’s the engine, but it’s me; it’s ME who makes the plane fly! 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
3407 And for my next trip, we will be landing on time. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
3408 For my next trick, I will make my service bunny appear! 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
3409 Ladies and gentleman. You have officially traveled back in time from October 2022 to October 2019. Hahahah - should have worn your masks!!! 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
3410 Abracadabra, and all feeling in your legs has vanished! 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
3411 And for my next trick,I will make even more leg room disappear! 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
3412 I bid you adieu, working remote today! 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
3413 To know your flying fate, a fee of 8! 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
3414 let's fly to the moon! 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
3415 Watch as I turn a volunteer into a $50 flight voucher 1.1228 0.05636 57 52 3 2
3416 In lieu of refreshments we now offer in-flight magic. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
3417 And with a wave of my wand, I will pull an O’Hare out of my hat. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
3418 Ta-Da! And now, you will magically get to your destination in 12 hours and 2 layovers! 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
3419 Popcorn anyone? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
3420 All passengers, please fasten your seatbelts. If you can't, I'll do it for you. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
3421 I’m happy to make him stop kicking your seat. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
3422 In case of loss in cabin pressure, voila! The oxygen masks shall appear. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
3423 I'm also your complementary entertainment while we wait in queue for hours to take off. 1.1212 0.05071 66 60 4 2
3424 Is his zipper open? 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
3425 and poof! your headset is gone 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
3426 If you are sitting in the exit row and are unable or unwilling to be my lovely assistant, please ask to be re-seated. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
3427 No, I can’t magically fix the inflight movies. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
3428 As our entertainment is out of order, I would like to show you a few tricks that wowed them on Flt 409 to Cincinnati" 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
3429 Now I will make the engine disappear! 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
3430 More leg room? I'm only a magician, sir. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
3431 All your overhead luggage will now disappear along with your checked baggage. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
3432 They said "trays up" not "Gays up" 1.1207 0.05542 58 53 3 2
3433 In case of a water landing, you will find a life preserver in my hat! But with a wave of my wand, presto! It's under your seat! 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
3434 You can't see it, but everyone in first class has real food! 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
3435 When I reach 3, you'll be having a great time! 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
3436 And if you complain about one thing, I can make you disappear. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
3437 I shall now make a 90,000 lb. float in the air. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
3438 The flight attendants can’t follow me. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
3439 Unless you listen carefully to my safety instructions, I will need to use my wand to demonstrate what I mean by “upright position.” 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
3440 Yes, your luggage will be waiting for you 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
3441 For dinner, make a wish and we and we will try to make you happy. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
3442 For my next trick, I'm going to make your leg room disappear 1.1207 0.05542 58 53 3 2
3443 And Presto! Universal overhead compartments ! 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
3444 ...and if we have an emergency water landing, I will keep the plane afloat until help comes. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
3445 Watch me pull an on-time arrival out of my hat. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
3446 And for my next trick, I will make all of your personal space disappear. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
3447 . . . and now for my greatest trick, an elephant will appear from thin air! 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
3448 And for my next trick, I'm going to make that extra legroom disappear. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
3449 I can even make your air rage disappear. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
3450 I can conjure up anything you wish for except peanuts. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
3451 And for my final act, if we loose cabin air pressure, I will make the oxygen masks reappear. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
3452 Presto!" "Your in flight meals are once again free! 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
3453 And now… we will take off on time! 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
3454 I just peed, it was magical. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
3455 I can try using magic to help with your issue? 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
3456 Wingardium leviosa! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
3457 For my next trick. You get leg room. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
3458 Fran's edibles kicked in just as the plane reached cruising altitude. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
3459 They charge us for airplane food but this they provide for free? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
3460 Welcome aboard Mindfreak Airlines 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
3461 Good service on an airline? I’m a magician, not a miracle worker. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
3462 We're all going to die. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
3463 I'm testing out my career options 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
3464 Some call me Mr. Distractor; others call me Sir Schedulot. No matter what you may call me, just enjoy the show, and rest assured that the nine-hour delay in Cleveland won't be nearly as maddening as it sounds.... 1.1194 0.04998 67 61 4 2
3465 And voila! We're back to dreading travel the way we did pre-Covid! 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
3466 I made the inflight meals disappear. Guess what's next. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
3467 You can unfasten your seat belts. We are now crossing a zone of turbulence. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
3468 Are we being charged extra for the show ? 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
3469 I don't get it...the jet engines fired right during rehearsal!/ 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
3470 And with a simple wave of the wand, this flight has magically been canceled. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
3471 Now, open your windows! Surprise, we're still haven't left! 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
3472 Tell me, sir, is this your gate? 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
3473 I’ll be doing your security theater! 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
3474 I can magically take away your fears about crashes, COVID and other worries starting with the letter C. 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
3475 I'm gonna ask that you all remain in your seats for my next trick. 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
3476 For my first trick, I'll take away most of your leg room. 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
3477 And "comfort" will drop from the ceiling... 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
3478 -"So, did you lose your job ?" - "Yes, but at least she smiled" 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
3479 I have the power to give you back all the hours we stole from you as you waited for the crew to arrive, the plane to be repaired and air traffic control to clear the overloaded schedule. 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
3480 Where's the movie? 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
3481 ... and - abracadabra - your luggage is no longer lost! 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
3482 For my next trick, I'll make your checked-in bags disappear! 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
3483 Abracadabra ... may the adults become smiley kids! 1.1186 0.05451 59 54 3 2
3484 and with this magic trick ... you will get more to eat than pretzels 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
3485 And now for a flight of fantasy. 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
3486 Abracadabra! The kid will stop kicking you! 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
3487 Now, for the very first time in mid-air, I’m going to replicate the famous magician David Copperfield’s disappearing airplane trick. 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
3488 In just two hours from now I'll make this plane fly! 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
3489 With a little bit of luck.We'll be on time,on time. With a little bit bit of luck 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
3490 I’ve got magic for you, just for you 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
3491 In the event of an emergency, your oxygen masks will turn into rabbits. 1.1184 0.04944 76 70 3 3
3492 And in the event of a water landing nonswimmers should remain in their seats 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
3493 I’m not supposed to do magic on the clock anymore but they can’t fire me because my mom owns the airline. 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
3494 Welcome to Malaysian Airlines Flight 370. For my greatest trick, I will make this airplane disappear. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
3495 This plane doesn’t have engines like Tesla’s, it flies with just magic 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
3496 Our pilots say it’s going to be OK! 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
3497 Watch as I make those towers in the distance disappear! 1.1176 0.05354 68 63 2 3
3498 And for my next trick we are going to make 2 towers disappear! 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
3499 Nah, the real magic trick is getting away with harassing fellow passengers. I'd rather stick to that. 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
3500 So much for our free peanuts. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
3501 Spirit Airlines is pleased to announce our new inflight entertainment option. I just need a volunteer. 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
3502 with a wave and an abracadabra, we'll all be flying! 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
3503 I left my flight attendant suit in Italy. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
3504 Ah, the perks of being in business class! 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
3505 And now for the ultimate magic, I will make the baby stop crying 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
3506 In the event of a mid-air collision, locate the pixie dust stored beneath your seat cushion. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
3507 Now, for my next trick, I'll keep the plane in the air 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
3508 And for my next trick, an online departure! 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
3509 And just like that, your personal space in Economy class is...gone. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
3510 Your seatbelts are already on! No One needs to show you how! 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
3511 I trained under BLM .. making cash disappear with the magic wand 1.1176 0.06037 51 47 2 2
3512 …and if all else fails, the flight attendants will be performing a magic show for those in need of a distraction from our impending doom. 1.1176 0.04927 68 62 4 2
3513 For my next trick - their luggage will arrive at their destination. 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
3514 Well folks, it sounds like the flight attendants are about to bring out the big guns, so that's my time. Again, my name is The Amazing Cayden, I live in Los Angeles, and I also do standup comedy and Zoom tarot reading! 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
3515 Attention economy passengers, your inflight entertainment is now beginning. 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
3516 Abracadabra… pretzels and peanuts !! 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
3517 For my next trick I’ll make your baggage disappear. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
3518 Shall I upgrade your seat to Comfort-plus? 1.1167 0.05363 60 55 3 2
3519 In the unlikely event of a water landing my wand floats. 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
3520 Long flights are boring but we don’t tolerate snoring” My warning I’ll not repeat, but I will turn you into an empty seat! 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
3521 And I have fairy dust to keep the person next to you from talking to you. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
3522 Since my talk shoe & game show were canceled, I decided to take my act to the sky! 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
3523 If he makes our bags reappear at the other end it’s worth the show 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
3524 And just like that, the bag of salted almonds has disappeared and been replaced with a tiny bag of pretzels. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
3525 And if you become disorderly, Mr. Magic Wand will wrap you up in duct tape. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
3526 And voilà, your legroom has disappeared!! 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
3527 In the unlikely event of an emergency water landing, please use the magic quarter tucked behind your left ear as a flotation device. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
3528 I’m afraid I don’t have the power to give you more leg room 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
3529 Sala-gadoola-menchicka-boo-la bibbidi-bobbidi-boo It'll do magic believe it or not Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo and you might make it but not your luggage ! 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
3530 Don’t worry, the plane won’t turn into a pumpkin until midnight. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
3531 Watch closely as I pull a flotation device out of my hat. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
3532 Please don't hurt me! Please don't hurt me! Please don't hurt me! 1.1159 0.04858 69 63 4 2
3533 And now there's only one exit, in the back. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
3534 And now to pick a city where your luggage is headed 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
3535 I will now make your legroom disappear... 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
3536 This is our new virus mitigation strategy. 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
3537 …and my side-hustle is keeping this bird in the air! 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
3538 Abracadabra - wish your seat was bigger 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
3539 Behold as I transform myself into your pilot, copilot and flight attendant. 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
3540 Sleep my pretties 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
3541 I’m sorry, we don’t offer full-sized water bottles, but we do have an in-house magician for all your entertainment needs. 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
3542 Go ahead (snicker), try to punch me… 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
3543 Welcome to our new in-flight entertainment. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
3544 I will now make the plane disappear! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
3545 For my next act, leg room. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
3546 And now for my first act, I shall make this plane invisible! 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
3547 And all the middle seats are gone! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
3548 And for my next trick, I'll make your bags disappear. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
3549 We'll be landing in Los Angeles in 10 minutes. My name is Tom -- I'm an actor, but someday I hope to get into directing ... 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
3550 If you apply for our credit card during the flight, you'll get a 0 percentage rate of kids kicking your seat for the first year. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
3551 And just like that, ladies, a 500,000 object is flying in mid-air! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
3552 …and in the event of a water landing I suggest a gill granting spell. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
3553 With this magic wand, let there be no spitting, biting, punching or attacking flight attendants! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
3554 The pilot has vanished, do either of you know how to fly a plane? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
3555 Real food, leg room, on time everything, and someone next to you who does not want to talk! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
3556 I thought our captain was a pilot, not a magician. I hope he's both. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
3557 For my final trick, I will make all of your checked luggage disappear! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
3558 And in preparation for our landing in Dublin, please return your tray tables and seats to their upright positions, fasten your seat belt, and join me in some Irish limericks. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
3559 Abracadabra! Your fear of flying is gone! If not, that's on you. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
3560 Yes, you are comfortable. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
3561 And...Presto! The urge to strangle the passenger behind you has vanished! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
3562 and the yellow light means flap your arms to this beat and stay in your seat 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
3563 I wouldn't fly without it. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
3564 I haven’t been this excited since I performed on Oceanic Flight 815 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
3565 And for my next amazing trick I am going to make your luggage appear at your final destination. 1.1143 0.04791 70 64 4 2
3566 There’s no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going. 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
3567 And, alakazaam, your legroom disappears! 1.1143 0.04791 70 64 4 2
3568 And now I will make the taste in your dinner disappear 1.1143 0.04791 70 64 4 2
3569 And for my last trick, with a quick wave of the wand, I will make all your legroom disappear... 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
3570 Don't worry if I change you into rabbits. I'm a vegan. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
3571 For my next trick, I will pull a pilot from my hat! 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
3572 Ladies and gentlemen, I will be your in-flight entertainment. 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
3573 Don't be silly, everybody likes magic! 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
3574 And now, with a wave of my corporate wand, I will make your leg room disappear 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
3575 For my next trick we'll make your leg room disappear. 1.1132 0.05815 53 49 2 2
3576 ... and this magic wand will make you pay attention to the safety briefing. 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
3577 And, voila! We're all going to Mar-A-Lardo! 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
3578 Actually I got it from Cruella DeVille 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
3579 You don't believe I'm a real magician? Watch me make this plane fly, fly, fly! 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
3580 did somebody say magic mike? 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
3581 And now I will make a delicious meal appear ... oops, you know magic isn't real. 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
3582 Presto! You’re now floating 10,000 feet in the air. 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
3583 It's gonna take more than a magic wand to distract us from the shitty food and cramped leg room. 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
3584 For my last trick I will make your luggage appear on the carousel at your destination. 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
3585 : My name is Justin and I'll be your flight attendant today. 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
3586 In flight entertainment has been one of the more unique issues plaguing the airline industry as of late 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
3587 I will return your electronics back after the flight. 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
3588 In the event of an emergency please make your own self disappear before helping those around you 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
3589 And voila! Your hard earned money has now been transformed into check-in baggage fees. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
3590 And for my next trick,I'll make your checked baggage disappear. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
3591 naw tho this is a box cutter y'all niggas gone die fr lol 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
3592 And this is my lovely assistant! ...Oh wait 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
3593 Sure 'n' Aer Lingus will take you to the end of the rainbow. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
3594 I have this new magic that cures COVID if you fail to mask. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
3595 In case of an emergency, studies have shown magic to be just as effective as oxygen masks! 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
3596 I will now make your luggage disappear. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
3597 All snacks and in flight movies have magically disappeared. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
3598 And for my final trick: I sawed the captain in half! 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
3599 I have to have a girl in order for that to happen. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
3600 I'll be here all week... 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
3601 And for my next trick, I will make all your business class perks disappear! 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
3602 Now, wish we’ll take off on time. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
3603 This is the latest innovation in air travel. You look at me and say "one, two, three," and you're at your destination. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
3604 now watch as i turn you sore losers into soar losers with a wave of my wand. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
3605 For my next feat, I will attempt to transport you to your final destination. 1.1125 0.04355 80 73 5 2
3606 You thought that we were flying to where? Think again! 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
3607 Watch, and the thirst is gone! 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
3608 Now that the plane is quickly losing altitude and we are all going to die, I can finally practice my comedy-magic hybrid routine! 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
3609 And on the count of three, you will have legroom! 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
3610 Now, who'd like me to conjure up congee for breakfast! 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
3611 Thanks for all your money, er, attention. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
3612 Yes ! I can make COVID disappear with my little black stick. Masks off everyone, masks off. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
3613 Presto! Your checked baggage just disappeared! 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
3614 And with a wave of my wand, you'll feel a mighty kick. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
3615 But it doesn’t work for wider seats, more legroom or better food. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
3616 Abracadabra, no more leg room! 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
3617 Pilot! When I snap my finger, you will be a blind blues player. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
3618 I was your Wizard of Oz. Now I'm your pilot. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
3619 For my next trick, I am going to make this plane disappear - top that Copperfield! 1.1111 0.05116 63 58 3 2
3620 Welcome aboard, ladies and gentlemen, and children too! Since we are no longer using jet fuel, our plane will be powered today by magic and by your laughter! 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
3621 Fasten your seat belts. We will be landing in Brigadoon in about 100 years. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
3622 Seat backeus uprighteus! 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
3623 Today's trick called "How I Steal Your Wife". 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
3624 Everyone close your eyes, and hopefully, our pilots will appear! 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
3625 Can someone call 911 to report plane passengers being held captive? 1.1111 0.05711 54 50 2 2
3626 And for my next trick, I'll make your oxygen masks disappear due to recent budget cuts. 1.1111 0.05711 54 50 2 2
3627 Watch me pull a gigantic cyst out of my hat! 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
3628 They weren't kidding when they said these new planes were as easy to fly as magic! 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
3629 The sprite of Spirit Airlines 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
3630 And now the plane will magically rise in a half hour or a half hour past that! 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
3631 I can do anything and everything but shut up the crying baby. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
3632 performance under pressure 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
3633 Please direct your attention to the flight attendants for our safety demonstration. 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
3634 And now for my next trick, I’ll need you all to exit the plane. Our flight has been cancelled.’ 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
3635 Who here voted for Trump? For five cents I can turn you into a Democrat. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
3636 And for my next trick we will serve drinks before we reach the terminal. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
3637 That's right, we're so far from the invention of flight and the modes of production that brought about commercial airlines, that hardly any of us even really know how planes work anymore — even the mechanics. It's just a bit of Spirit Airlines magic! 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
3638 For my first trick I can either make your overhead bin double in size,Or make your extra carry-on fee disappear! 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
3639 If he can make these torture headrests disappear,they can have their lilliputian bags of peanuts back 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
3640 More legroom gonna’s need a bigger wand. 1.1094 0.05038 64 59 3 2
3641 And now for my final trick. We will arrive on time. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
3642 And now , for my disappearing plane act, hold tight. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
3643 Watch carefully now folks. Hocus pocus… See! The meals and drinks have disappeared. For a reasonable price available only at 38,000 feet I will make them reappear. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
3644 Abracadabra! Using my best slight of hand, I can exchange some pixie dust for a 50, and you will have a pleasant nap until we arrive at your destination gate. TA-DAH!! 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
3645 AND.... just remember, on this flight, I'm the one with the magic wand. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
3646 I will now make this Emergency Exit disappear before your very eyes 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
3647 It requires extraordinary means to pack the overhead bins. 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
3648 Abracadabra and this little tot won't scream on the whole flight. 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
3649 it's probably the gluten 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
3650 At Magic Air we make all grand illusions of travel disappear! 1.1091 0.05609 55 51 2 2
3651 Please pay attention or I'll make your luggage disappear. 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
3652 And now for my next trick, I will *restart* the engines. 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
3653 ...and then, presto! Your pretzel snack will appear! 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
3654 And for my next trick, I’m going to shrink your bag of peanuts. 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
3655 And if you close your eyes and wish very very hard, the beverage cart will appear! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
3656 We apologize for sitting on the tarmac for an hour. Bibbidi-Bobbidi Boo: we refuel in Kalamazoo. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
3657 It wasn't me who farted. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
3658 You say master of deception. My card says Jeff of online booking. 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
3659 I'm just a Broadway baby... 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
3660 Watch as I make your checked-in bags disappear! 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
3661 Well, you shut them BOTH up. That's a good trick! 1.1077 0.04963 65 60 3 2
3662 TSA approved it, but I just turned the flight crew into frogs" 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
3663 If you are touched by this magic wand you will sleep for the duration of the flight, waking up fully refreshed just in time to use the bathroom before landing. All in favor say aye. 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
3664 Yes, I was an extra in the second Harry Potter movie. 1.1077 0.04963 65 60 3 2
3665 And just like magic, the cops will escort you off the plane if you start up a ukelele concert. 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
3666 And prest-o change-o…no drink service today. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
3667 And now y'all have to see my magic tricks. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
3668 In the event of loss of a water landing snap your fingers and say abracadabra Jill landsberg 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
3669 We've cut all added fees on today's flight! Deploy me in the case of a depressurization or water landing." 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
3670 OK, I'm going to make this passenger levitate to the ceiling. Can the rest of you put your seat belts on? 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
3671 Abracadabra, we don't need masks! 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
3672 Eyes on me, ladies and gentlemen! YOU DON’T NEED TO GO TO THE TOILET UNTIL WE LAND! “ (Emergency trick pulled out by the crew following the malfunctioning of the waste expulsion air compressor working in REVERSE 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
3673 My side gig- piloting has its ups and downs! 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
3674 I'm a very quirky flight attendant! 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
3675 I can’t undo the caterer’s screwup but surely can lighten you up! 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
3676 Unless this guy can magically create another six inches of leg room he can go bother someone else. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
3677 And with a simple wave of this wand, all of the formal complaints you were going to make shall be waived in a spirit of goodwill. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
3678 And just like that I've made your luggage disappear! 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
3679 And for my next safety demonstration, I’ll need one lucky volunteer! 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
3680 CadabraAbra, cadabraAbra! OOPS, 4 SEATS AVAILABLE UP HERE! 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
3681 If you don’t clap, we’re crashing the plane. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
3682 And just like that, all of your checked luggage has disappeared! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
3683 And now for my next trick, I'll rescue us from the current three hour hold on the runway... 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
3684 In the event that we lose cabin pressure, simply pull a rabbit from the hat above you, gently pull on it's tail and breathe normally. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
3685 Now, ladies and gentlemen, watch as I make another inch of legroom disappear! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
3686 Ta-da! And now your legs fit! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
3687 At this point we ask any passengers who did not pay the $75 surcharge for the magic show to place their heads between their knees. 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
3688 Watch the wand, only the wand. 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
3689 I'm going to New York, New York. Where would you like to go? 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
3690 You are correct, sir, we'll be waiting on the runway another hour. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
3691 See if you can guess where your luggage is going. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
3692 It's actually really easy to hack your 3DS did you know that 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
3693 So when I wave the Emerald Wand three times and tap my toes three times, if you look out the aircraft's starboard windows you will see the dazzling skyline of the John Wayne Orange County Airport in all its glory! 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
3694 I'm here to grant your wish for a packet of stale almonds or a faux Egg McMuffin. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
3695 I used up two of my three wishes in speaking with the captain so dig deep 1.1061 0.04890 66 61 3 2
3696 Now watch carefully folks, as we're going to make that last half-inch of legroom disappear! 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
3697 Buckle up! 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
3698 And now, I'll simply wave the magic wand to ensure us all a flight without mishaps! 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
3699 Now that you’ve agreed to it, I am going to make the fine print disappear. 1.1061 0.04890 66 61 3 2
3700 For my next trick, your complimentary drink is on me 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
3701 I asked you to book us on NO SPIRIT airlines! 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
3702 And for my next trick, I'll make the pilot disappear from the cockpit. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
3703 I’m hoping to make myself disappear. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
3704 Watch me pull a rapid descent outta my hat! 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
3705 Abracadabra, please get ready to land. 1.1053 0.05418 57 53 2 2
3706 You won't be making your connection. Tada! 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
3707 ...and viola!! The whole plan is now levitating above the earth and accelerating towards our final destination! 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
3708 No peanuts on this flight, but we offer a magic trick for $30. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
3709 Vanish here and appear at destination instantly at USD 10 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
3710 Now watch as I make this plane disappear 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
3711 In the event of a change in cabin pressure the oxygen masks will magically drop… 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
3712 But my most magical trick of all is...that I'm your pilot. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
3713 This is the only way you may have a chance of making your connection. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
3714 And for my next trick, I'll make your patience and hope for a civil society disappear!" 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
3715 Presto! Now the kid won't be kicking the back of your seat anymore! 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
3716 And, in the event of a water landing, magic tricks! 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
3717 And, as always, please do not peek behind the first-class curtain. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
3718 Any fans of the Honeymooners here? This is the portion of the space mission tour where Ralph would've liked to send Alice... 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
3719 And they all lived happily ever after. Now, to put your pajamas on! 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
3720 at higher altitudes.. The air pressure and gravity makes stars and magic tricks appear even more amazing.. 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
3721 Voila! Your meal just disappeared! 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
3722 Take-off will occur once the engine is fixed. Until then, just enjoy your captain with the magic wan! 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
3723 There will be an additional fee of $5 for each magic trick !! 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
3724 In the event of an emergency this magic cane will instantly transport me onto an airplane that is not plummeting to earth in flames while you stay here screaming in agony. Enjoy your flight! 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
3725 And for my next trick (and $50), the toddler behind you won't make a sound for the entire trip. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
3726 Hey folks, want to see a magic trick? On 3, I'll make the plane engines disappear. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
3727 I never believe these planes actually fly 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
3728 When I count to three, Airline Aardvark will appear. But first, let me tell you why I'm not wearing a magician's hat. My father was a pilgrim reenactor and he left me only this in the will. That daddy's girl sister of mine! Peanuts anyone? Burrrrp! 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
3729 And for my next trick, on time arrivals. 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
3730 Wanna see my hog warts? 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
3731 And for a slight fee, I can make your snacks reappear. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
3732 For my next magic trick, I'll pull a set of drums out of my hat! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
3733 Actually, my name isn’t Morgam the Magnificent. It’s Kevin. Nevertheless, I’ll be amazing you with magic until the flight attendant comes by. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
3734 Alakazeit, trays upright! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
3735 The how to guide to get passengers to listen to the safety instructions 2022 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
3736 for my next act I'm gonna spend all my rent money on streaming platforms and "organic" food 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
3737 And if anyone tries to attack me, they will be magically transported...to the wing of the plane! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
3738 And my wand is magic too!", said the soon to be former flight attendant 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
3739 Say it with me . . . our baggage will arrive . . . our baggage will arrive. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
3740 Could I have a volunteer for my disappearing act? 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
3741 No. I’m sorry! You can’t trade the in-flight entertainment for an actual meal. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
3742 Through the magic of the marketplace, your $500 flight is now $1300! Presto! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
3743 Alla Kazoom! We’ll be on the taxiway another six hours. Jean Godden, Seattle, Wa. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
3744 Ladies and Gentleman It looks like we’ve hit a patch of rough air. Please fasten your seatbelts, relax, and watch as I make this turbulence… DISAPPEAR! 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
3745 And hocus pocus...despite your scrounging for the cheapest possible fare, your flight will be full of amenities and well-compensated, cheery flight attendants! 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
3746 for my next trick, keep your eyes fixed on me and don't look outside the window... 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
3747 Abracadabra, and poof no more free meals, free seat selection, or free baggage checks! 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
3748 For my next act I'll make the pilot disappear! 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
3749 Now I will make the plane start to land the exact moment your child needs to use the restroom. 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
3750 For my next trick I’ll send your luggage to Cleveland. 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
3751 Sorry, landing on time cannot be one of your wishes, 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
3752 And now, 'Abra Cadabra', you may unfasten your seat belts and float around. 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
3753 And now, ladies and gentlemen, I will make your legroom DISAPPEAR! 1.1020 0.05253 49 45 3 1
3754 Ha... and you thought it was autopilot! 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
3755 Pouf! And your legroom disappears. 1.1020 0.05253 49 45 3 1
3756 And now for my second trick I will make the co-pilot disappear. 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
3757 For years people have been clapping in the plane so we figured we actually give them a show. 1.1020 0.05253 49 45 3 1
3758 I magically made even less legroom -- now maybe you'll cut down on the buzzing. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
3759 Do you want to turbulence to dissapear? For my next trick, I'm going a to need a volunteer who also happens to be a pilot... 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
3760 And if you give me all your money, I will waive my magic wand and ensure you that this plane will not go down…. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
3761 And magically, plus $39 a person, you'll have 6 more inches of legroom. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
3762 We *love* pretending there's a way out of a crash! 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
3763 Babysitter? 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
3764 Anybody want to pay me to make the pilot reappear? 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
3765 in an emergency, simply inflate your floatation device into an elephant. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
3766 We are having engine trouble. As the Captain, I am trying anything to keep us in the air. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
3767 Was that turbulence you felt? Or was it was magic...? 1.1017 0.05238 59 55 2 2
3768 And for my next trick, I’ll make the bar cart reappear. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
3769 Er..it was a wonderful card trick captain, but shouldn’t you be up front 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
3770 You don’t need a license if you letter in Quidditch. 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
3771 And for my next trick I'll make you all appear 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
3772 And now I'm going to make ten thousand gallons of jet fuel disappear. 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
3773 Should there be a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down by magic! 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
3774 Now for my final act, I’ll make the airplane disappear! 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
3775 Now I'm going to turn this jet into a glider. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
3776 Abracadabra - free peanuts and frequent flyer miles 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
3777 And for my next trick I’m going to make the food taste great! 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
3778 In lieu of cocktails, I offer you the the magician in the sky! 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
3779 His sleight of hand was as fast as a Jet. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
3780 And for my next trick....I will reveal the passenger who will have a connecting flight to try to make in 20 minutes 4 terminals away from where we land! 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
3781 You have 3 choices, Lobster Newberg, Beef Stroganoff or Chateau Briand 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
3782 And now you can be all nice again since the pandemic is over! 1.1000 0.05151 50 46 3 1
3783 You're free to go maskless now. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
3784 Pad will take you anywhere and home, just like it takes me. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
3785 For my next trick I will make the airplane disappear . 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
3786 Presto! The legs of the child kicking your seat are two inches shorter!" 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
3787 If you’re expecting the rabbit, he left for first class 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
3788 I will turn 15 peanuts into a full course meal. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
3789 Babies don't cry when the big brother's locked the the overhead compartment 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
3790 Yes, ma'am, I did make your baby disappear. It wouldn't stop crying!" -Maya Undaraa, 13 years ol 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
3791 And, just like that, your complimentary in-flight Wi-Fi has now disappeared" 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
3792 For my final trick, I will see this plane lands on time. 1.1000 0.05151 50 46 3 1
3793 Magic is not everything! 1.1000 0.05151 50 46 3 1
3794 Yes! The wand is real! I just made the pilot and co-pilot disappear! 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
3795 In this class, I am the in-flight entertainment. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
3796 Turbulence ahead but never fear. I have magic fairy dust to keep us aloft. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
3797 If you think the hat and wand are inappropriate, check out at these Diesel sneakers from 2008! 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
3798 I have to piss dude and where did I put my last airhead 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
3799 I’m so sorry, we’ve just run out of peanuts. 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
3800 And now for my next magic trick I will make you all respect me. 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
3801 For my next trick I’m going to light this kid on fire because I am “Set Kids On Fire Jack” the Magician.” 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
3802 Let me guess. You keep the rabbit underneath your seat? 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
3803 For my next trick, I will expand your leg-room by twelve inches! 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
3804 Now if all the crying babies will follow me to the back of the plane... 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
3805 And for my next act, I will make your carry on disappear. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
3806 Just like David Copperfield I will make this plane disappear. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
3807 Blink three times and you'll be there. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
3808 If cabin pressure drops, you just wave the wand in the pocket under your seat. 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
3809 Everyone, let’s shout Abracadabra loud and clear and see if the staffing issue is resolved at the airport! 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
3810 Fortune? No, making butts hitting my shoulder disappear will suffice. 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
3811 And for my next trick, I will provide food service to all coach passengers. 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
3812 When we go down, my magic wand will prevent you from screaming and making a fool of yourself. 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
3813 Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between, I now present to you my disappearing this plane into a black hole trick 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
3814 Life Insurance, Anyone? Anyone? 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
3815 May I assist anyone with their seatbelt? 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
3816 Ah, a magician never reveals his secrets about where your luggage has been sent 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
3817 I made our lunch disappear 1.0968 0.04991 62 58 2 2
3818 And abracadabra! – the last of your comforts have disappeared! 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
3819 We don't have any drinks or snacks, but I can entertain you with a few magic tricks! 1.0968 0.04991 62 58 2 2
3820 If only he could work his magic on flight prices”! 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
3821 For my next trick I’ll pull a bag of nuts from my pants!…only twenty bucks for peanuts. 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
3822 This is your low fare ticket entertainment. 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
3823 abracadabra, your seats are roomier....just kidding. 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
3824 I'll magically extend your leg room! 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
3825 And now, for those of you hoping for a Global Entry on Arrival walk-in interview.... 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
3826 Disappearing act is not something to contemplate at this point 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
3827 Ta-da! Now we have a 5-minute early landing 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
3828 So we can land on time at Laguardia 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
3829 In case of a crash, magic wands and hats will descend from the ceiling. Please be sure to fit your hat tightly on your head and wand tightly in your hand before assisting others. 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
3830 The good news is tomorrow your luggage will reappear in Toledo. 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
3831 And for my next announcement, I'm going to make your faith in an on-time arrival disappear! 1.0962 0.04958 52 48 3 1
3832 We hope you’ll enjoy our new in-flight entertainment system. 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
3833 And any misbehaving passengers will be turned into newts. 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
3834 babies and babies, on the count of three please blow as hard as you can to the wand, and give it your magic to summon a pacifier 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
3835 But I'm not here to talk about me. 1.0962 0.04958 52 48 3 1
3836 Now just click your heels together and imagine the lavatories have been cleaned! 1.0962 0.04958 52 48 3 1
3837 A comfortable seat with leg room? What do I look like, a magician? 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
3838 and on this flight all of your individual rights dissapear! 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
3839 Abra-ca-dabra. I’m going to reach out and grab ya. If you get outa your seat, before all-call, cross-check tone is beat. 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
3840 You’ve lost our luggage,haven’t you? 1.0962 0.04958 52 48 3 1
3841 Welcome to Illusion Vacationing in the age of global warming 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
3842 Are you going to make the flight magically be on time? 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
3843 Now watch me make the baby disappear… 1.0952 0.04361 63 58 4 1
3844 For a small upcharge, I will pull five extra inches of legroom out of thin air and move two of you to Business Class. 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
3845 As part of our new loyalty program... 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
3846 OK, which one of you bright and happy people would like to begin this flight by singing the National Anthem? 1.0952 0.04361 63 58 4 1
3847 Let me tell you that story, where I once thought I couldn‘t fly a plane, spoke a magic spell, and all of a sudden could! It was magnificent! And today I will be trying it for the second time! … and you ALL will be witnesses to this moment of magic - Abracadabra! 1.0952 0.04361 63 58 4 1
3848 In lieu of a movie, I will be your entertainment on this flight. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
3849 Due to budgetary cuts, I’ll be your in-flight entertainment. Sorry, snacks won’t be magically appearing either. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
3850 For my next bit of magic, I will make your lunch, drinks, and two inches of legroom disappear! 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
3851 And for my next trip I will make the pilot disappear. 1.0943 0.05563 53 50 1 2
3852 I was told I would get a raise for using my 'magical' skills 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
3853 We must be over water. 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
3854 Watch me pull a life jacket out of this young man's ear. 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
3855 Manifest this flight and save five years of your life eight 'to' eight 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
3856 When I make your luggage disappear, you still pay the bag fee! 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
3857 Got a bag? 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
3858 Hey I know its the same, conventional air trip,but there's always a newbie. ":) 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
3859 How about you work your magic and keep the baby behind us from crying the whole flight. then we will call you Copperfield. 1.0938 0.04295 64 59 4 1
3860 ...and Reagan-cadabra! Thanks to the magic of deregulation, I've pull another fee for this flight out of my hat. 1.0938 0.04295 64 59 4 1
3861 We wish he could use magic tricks on ticket prices. No Magic in air will reduce pain caused by the ticket prices. 1.0938 0.04295 64 59 4 1
3862 Ladies and Gentlemen I will make your luggage travel to another destination at no extra charge... Bon Voyage... 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
3863 I was ˈer-ˌbȯrn to do this 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
3864 And for my next magic trick I'll give you two inches of extra leg room for only $500. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
3865 In the event of an emergency, I'll pull an oxygen mask out of my hat. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
3866 I've tried making the person in the bathroom disappear. It didn't end well. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
3867 When I open my eyes, your luggage will have disappeared. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
3868 Let’s pretend that flying on this airline doesn’t suck. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
3869 And I pronounce you man and wife 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
3870 'Abracadabra'.... you are sardines in a can... and, remember...sardines never complain... 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
3871 OK, I need all of you to help bring back Joe's bag... 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
3872 Welcome everyone, to the magical electric airplane. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
3873 On today's flight we pretend we're going to Never Land where the 1950's never ended and I get to be Peter Pan and Tinkerbell. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
3874 In an effort to reduce our environmental footprint, the airline has introduced the "magic carpet concept". Now, I need everyone to believe that this wand will get us airborne and keep us in the air. Ready? One Two Three. 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
3875 Next stop is purgatory, to let off some folks. Oh the temp is very warm there. 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
3876 For my next magic trick, moving you out of economy into first class. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
3877 Open your eyes. Your legroom has disappeared. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
3878 Are you not entertained? 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
3879 And for my next trick, I will sell you air! 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
3880 Captain speaking: Abra cadabra, I will make myself disappear 1.0923 0.04765 65 61 2 2
3881 Open sesame! 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
3882 ... and in the event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a levitation device. 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
3883 Now, I will make this pressurized metal tube go up, bump around, and come down in sunshine state, ta-da! 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
3884 And for my next trick, I will pull the contraband out of you carry-on. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
3885 For my next trick, can I have a volunteer who is willing to risk their luggage disappearing forever? 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
3886 For my next trick, I will require a volunteer from our audience willing to be bumped. 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
3887 Coffee please, put away the magic wand. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
3888 The air is REALLY thin up here! 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
3889 Abracadabra! The emergency exits disappear! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
3890 ...and then magically the oxygen mask will appear. 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
3891 Welcome to Magic Carpet flying service. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
3892 Abracadabra, make departure on-time. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
3893 And for my next , and most difficult trick , I will conjure up edible and nutritious food - followed by clean rest rooms , and lastly more leg room ( so you can remove your knees from your necks ) 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
3894 Woosh! Your flight's delayed. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
3895 If you look under your seat, you’ll find a flotation device and your card! 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
3896 No trays? No problem! This'll make you think you've had lunch. 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
3897 Excuse me, the captain just asked if there's a magician on board 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
3898 In the event of a water landing, I'll wave this wand and teleport us all safely home. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
3899 And in some cases the emergency exit is the portal under my hat. 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
3900 with my magic wond all radicals will fall asleep . 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
3901 Voila… and just like that, I made your legroom disappear. 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
3902 the pandemic gave me lots of time to develop my interests 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
3903 For my first trick, I will make your happiness disappear with 6 magic words… “I’ll be doing this for the whole flight.” 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
3904 I sense you are thinking of the five of clubs; is that right? 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
3905 Too bad folks … first class gets ‘Penn and Teller’ and coach just get little old me. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
3906 The extra fee was too high for the rabbit 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
3907 I see you have no reading material for today's "Magic Travel" flight to Beijing, China 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
3908 And now, watch as I saw this woman in half to spare a few more inches of legroom. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
3909 Abracadabra....and the leg room disappears! 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
3910 And for my next trick I will pull the right wing out of my hat. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
3911 Hi, I'm your captain. Never fear, our new 737 Max is now on autopilot! 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
3912 and the leg room has disappeared 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
3913 I'm Gay and I don't care who knows it! 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
3914 Trevor’s during pre-flight safety instructions, had mixed reviews. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
3915 …and when you disembark, you’ll be amazed to find that the baggage claim ticket you’ve had in your pocket the whole time no longer matches your luggage! 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
3916 They must be sitting in "no class" 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
3917 Next holiday, let's just take it back to the concrete streets… 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
3918 And as I snap, the pilot will fall in a deep sleep. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
3919 And for my grand finale... I will make your luggage disappear! 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
3920 For my next trick, I will make your patience disappear! 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
3921 It’s not like we can just mime the safety features. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
3922 No treats on this flight, just tricks. 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
3923 And for my next trick, your leg room will disappear! 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
3924 Your airship will disappear 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
3925 Watch as I make your leg room disappear 1.0877 0.05179 57 54 1 2
3926 For my next trick, I will create the illusion that you have an extra two feet of legroom. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
3927 Abracanewark! 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
3928 I'm the Covid Leprechaun, bringing you new varieties 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
3929 Just a wee bit of magic for you today. Say wheeeeeeeeh with me! Yes! And again…and just give me what you can. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
3930 Well I can’t revive the dead, but I can technically make that bird that got sucked into the engine reappear… 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
3931 And with this wand, I'll turn a passenger who fails to follow the rules from a flier into a driver. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
3932 Welcome to Spirit Airlines. Today's pilot is Captain Dan Johnson who last flew in 1944 for the Army Air Corps. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
3933 And now for my next move, FLY ME TO THE MOON!! 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
3934 The magic wand will make a bond between you and our destination... 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
3935 For my next trick, I’ll need a volunteer. Now, you’ll have to be able to open the Exit Row door… 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
3936 Cal-i-for-nia here I come! 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
3937 With one wave of my magic wand you’re all in first class.” 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
3938 Mainly I make your leg room shrink every time you fly. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
3939 In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, a rabbit will automatically descend from the overhead compartment. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
3940 Thank you for flying Budget Airlines where tricks are our trade 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
3941 Tada! Your overhead storage has been shifted!” 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
3942 now is there anyone who knows the spell to make the pilot REAPPEAR on board? 1.0870 0.05225 46 43 2 1
3943 And this free ..three our act… is our little way of saying ..’sorry for the delay.. 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
3944 Perhaps you are wondering why I am dressed like I am from the 1970's? It's magic, 1.0870 0.05225 46 43 2 1
3945 Bibbidi, Bobbidi, Boo! 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
3946 Hocus Pocus we are delayed in Ho-ho-kus 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
3947 For my next trick, I will make extra leg room & a hot meal appear! 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
3948 Watch carefully as I make your pleasant flying experience totally disappear. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
3949 In the unlikely event of a water landing, my hat may be used as a flotation device. 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
3950 I hope he can work some magic and keep this plane in the air!" 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
3951 And for my next magical trick,I will prevent your luggage from being lost. 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
3952 And for my next trick, I will make this aircraft disappear over the North Atlantic. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
3953 And, I’ll show you your card… in just another fifteen minutes. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
3954 1 2 3 .. you should have flown first class, now your stuck with a crying kid up ur ass . 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
3955 I have clinical depression. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
3956 for my next trick, I’ll put my tray table up and my seat back in the full upright position 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
3957 Now as soon as the chime sounds, EVERYBODY jump up and you will be miraculously transported off the plane! 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
3958 Well, I suppose it will ALSO take a miracle for you to get off the plane!" 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
3959 I’ll only give you three wishes if you smile like your daughter. 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
3960 And for our entre', packaged mixed nuts sans souse' with an exquisite sprinkling of sea salt. 0r pretzels. 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
3961 Voila! Luggage has disappeared. 1.0851 0.05116 47 44 2 1
3962 Flying high is the only way to go. 1.0851 0.04114 47 43 4 0
3963 For our first time fliers, I’ve got some Psilocybin under my hat. It’s entirely possible that I accidentally dropped some on your seats in an earlier flight. In which case, I’m probably not really here. Have a wonderful trip. 1.0851 0.04114 47 43 4 0
3964 For your comfort,I will now make your legs disappear! 1.0847 0.04384 59 55 3 1
3965 This magic wand will bring you something edible. 1.0847 0.04384 59 55 3 1
3966 I made the Statue of Liberty disappear. What would YOU like me to make disappear? 1.0847 0.04384 59 55 3 1
3967 And now I shall make the wings disappear! 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
3968 Welcome aboard our 737 Max. And now for my next trick. 1.0847 0.04384 59 55 3 1
3969 Then presto-chango, we'll be asking you to stay in your seats while others try to make their connections . 1.0847 0.04384 59 55 3 1
3970 Since the recliners aren't working, we will compensate by trying to hypnotize you to sleep 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
3971 Does anyone need room in the overhead compartment? 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
3972 Next, you will magically receive leg room for this flight Frank Buckley Andover MA 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
3973 For my next trick, watch as I make this airline's approval rating disappear. 1.0833 0.03598 60 55 5 0
3974 In the unlikely event, this plane goes down, I am here to entertain you. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
3975 For my next trick, I'll make the airplane disappear! 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
3976 Nothing up my sleeve! No, seriously—TSA always makes sure there’s nothing up our sleeves. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
3977 Chicken or the vegetarian pasta? 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
3978 And for my next trick I will eject you from the plane unless you put on your seatbelts! 1.0833 0.04312 60 56 3 1
3979 And now for the new and improved airplane mode. 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
3980 A new safety feature: Magicians have replaced flight attendants so we can make unruly passengers disappear. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
3981 Enjoy our new immersive entertainment system 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
3982 And, the odor is coming from…row E! 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
3983 After the autopilot, here is my second magic trick... 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
3984 poof ... I made your extra legroom and free soft drinks disappear. 1.0820 0.04845 61 58 1 2
3985 Dwane had to pull out all the stops to distract the passengers from the strain of rapid onset airborne ebola that was working its way toward the front of the plane. He could barely look them in the eyes. 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
3986 Abracadabra, you are now floating 36,000 feet in the air. 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
3987 The pilot is incapacitated, but not to fear! 1.0820 0.04243 61 57 3 1
3988 now its time me to show you all The Avada Kedavra spell! 1.0820 0.04243 61 57 3 1
3989 And for my next trick, I will make this plane crash 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
3990 If you sign up for our credit card, 10,000 sky miles will magically appear! 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
3991 And now all your rage and anxiety will magically disappear, only to reappear as soon as soon as you find out the otherwordly prices of our inflight snacks, drinks and wifi. 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
3992 Pithy witticism. 1.0816 0.04911 49 46 2 1
3993 And for first class, you get to see me saw your luggage in half. 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
3994 Now for my next trick, I'll make your luggage disappear and your meals will taste great. 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
3995 ...and with a wag of the wand, you're going to let me have your aisle seat. 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
3996 Abra Cadabra .For an extra $20 I will create 2 inches more foot room. 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
3997 For my next trick I will make your bodies smaller. 1.0816 0.04911 49 46 2 1
3998 If our luggage disappears I'm blaming him. 1.0816 0.04911 49 46 2 1
3999 And now, for my next trick, I'll make you forget we ran out of fuel. 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
4000 I don’t care if you’re a trained magician. You can’t just saw our luggage in half to make it fit! 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
4001 For this next trick, FAA regulations require you to make your safety card appear. 1.0806 0.04176 62 58 3 1
4002 And for you First Class passengers, the truth about how planes fly. 1.0806 0.04176 62 58 3 1
4003 Folks, are you wandering what trick I have up my sleeve ?? 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
4004 A little song and dance to take the edge off no food or drink. 1.0806 0.04176 62 58 3 1
4005 I'd like to thank Snowball, my one-time friend and service animal, for our in-flight meal today! 1.0806 0.04176 62 58 3 1
4006 Close your eyes and make a wish! 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
4007 And in an emergency pull the oxygen supply out from behind your LEFT ear. 1.0806 0.04176 62 58 3 1
4008 'Would you like to change your Cambridge train tickets to Hogwarts express? Family offer today' 🎟️ 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
4009 And this is how aerodynamics works… 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
4010 And say the magic words, and your oxygen mask will appear! 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
4011 For my next trick,give me your tickets and I 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
4012 Sorry, I have no idea when we're going to take off. I'm not a psychic. 1.0800 0.04815 50 47 2 1
4013 Abracadabra! Now there’s a bomb on the plane! 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
4014 I will now attempt to have all your luggage appear at it’s proper destination. 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
4015 lady and gentlemen, I bring airplane that is out of this world. 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
4016 Guess what’s under my hat! 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
4017 And now for your inflight entertainment, watch me pull a a rabbit out of your overhead compartment. 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
4018 Harry Potter, incognito: The RAF years. 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
4019 Seat backs and tray tables must be placed in their upright and locked positions - alakazam! 1.0800 0.04815 50 47 2 1
4020 Let me practice the online training i started during lockdown 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
4021 Watch as I make your savings disappear! 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
4022 And in case of emergency, I'll say the magic word and change your seat cushions into flying carpets. 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
4023 It's Wingardium Le-vi-OH-sa! 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
4024 Abracadabra . . . elbow and knee room! 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
4025 Poofdah! No leg room! 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
4026 we don't have a pilot today. so I am here to entertain you 1.0794 0.04112 63 59 3 1
4027 Can you conjure up my pre-pandemic level of germaphobia? 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
4028 For my next trick, I'll make all your luggage disappear. 1.0794 0.04112 63 59 3 1
4029 And poof, just like that, your low fare has made all service & amenities disappear ! 1.0794 0.04112 63 59 3 1
4030 And for my next trick, I’ll provide staler peanuts. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
4031 No, I only gray out the passengers that have that ‘you work for me’ look 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
4032 I’ll be your runway entertainment while they fix the engine. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
4033 We will be arriving early and your luggage too! 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
4034 Accio Seat Back! 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
4035 The first call spell failed. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
4036 Come on now, you'll sound much better in the Sky. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
4037 Instead of masks on Spirit Airlines, we have top hats and glowing sticks drop down so you can magick away the need to breathe. 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
4038 Why yes, i am the first autistic flight attendant, why do you ask? 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
4039 And now your checked bags have disappeared 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
4040 Let's just say we neutralize any unruly passengers. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
4041 Instead, I shall sing the commercials of the top-selling snacks. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
4042 That's right. If you upgrade to First Class you don't have to watch the show. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
4043 if i was on that plane it wouldn’t have gone down like it did — Mark Wahlberg 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
4044 I will make your oxygen masks disappear! 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
4045 Would someone please lend me a ten dollar bill? 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
4046 Relax! You have a choice of three wishes....(1) click your heels and you'll be at your destination in a flash (2) Your all in business class now enjoy (3) Kid if you keep kicking my seat I'm gonna send you to the moon! Your wish is my command. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
4047 And now, with the landing gear completely disabled.... 1.0769 0.03988 65 61 3 1
4048 And now…please sit back, relax, and enjoy this nonstop demonstration of double-entendres and third-rate magic! 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
4049 Voila, no refunds or vouchers. 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
4050 All carry-ons secured in the overhead bins was just to get your attention. 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
4051 Be nice and act like human beings. I'm not an actual magician, people. 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
4052 Magic words are recommended for all snacks and beverages from your happy flight crew. 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
4053 Bippity boppity boo. We promise no Covid for you!. 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
4054 whoopsy daisy! well I'll be darned! hotter than a cat on a tin roof! busier than a cat covering up! colder than a whitch's tit in a brass bra! 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
4055 And for my next trick, I’m going to make your checked bags disappear. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
4056 OK, I’m gonna wave my magic wand, and someone will volunteer to check their carry-on bag…. 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
4057 I can’t make sure that you won’t miss your flight, lose your luggage, be delayed, etc.… What do you think I am —a magician? 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
4058 Abracadabra! Covid, be gone! Enjoy your virus-free flight. 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
4059 In the unlikely event of a water landing,I 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
4060 I’m your pilot, We’re would you like to go? 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
4061 Bibbidi-Bobbidi, your luggage is now lost in Labadee 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
4062 Me, me, me, except fo 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
4063 And for my next trick I’ll make the World Trade Centre disappear! 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
4064 I’m your first class act. For my first trick I will make drinks appear! 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
4065 Abracadabra! The passenger in 12B has been body wrapped in duct tape for the rest of the flight. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
4066 I am going to wave my magic wand and make this graphic better. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
4067 They couldn't ensure that you'd make your connecting flight using normal means....so they hired me! 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
4068 For my next trick I will attempt to defy the gods of the universe and make sure that we arrive in time for all connecting flights! 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
4069 And before your very eyes, I will make you believe that this plane will not go down in the next 30 minutes!! 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
4070 For my next magic trick, you’re about to have extra leg room. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
4071 Et voila! You now have half an inch more leg room. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
4072 They do this every time the caption has to poop. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
4073 Gas prices are so high, they're relying on my magic to fly this plans 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
4074 And for an additional fee, I'll make the other side of the plane re-appear. 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
4075 If you believe in magic we will reach our destination. 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
4076 Dream of a corporate reply to your complaint on this flight's delay/cancellation/reschedule. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
4077 ... And now your baggage has disappeared! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
4078 I need a volunteer. How bout you, 1D? 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
4079 And, Presto! Your baggage has been transferred to a magical place. 1.0727 0.04384 55 52 2 1
4080 And for my next trick I will stuff a screaming baby into the overhead compartment. Cover your ears. 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
4081 And for my next act, I’ll make your luggage disappear. 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
4082 skidaddle skadoodle, your dick is now a noodle 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
4083 Ala-kazam! And your legroom is gone! 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
4084 Just think of this as an illusion that you are in coach. 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
4085 Nobody's got cheaper fares than me. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
4086 And that, folks, is how luggage gets lost. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
4087 Thanks so much for finding my wand. As a reward I'll be bringing each of you all the chips you can eat during the entire flight. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
4088 And for my next trick I’ll make 10 minutes of your life disappear! 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
4089 Presto-Change-o! You're all cancelled 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
4090 The real magic is getting you a meal. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
4091 I’m hoping this will give me better luck with landing 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
4092 And for my next trick, I’ll make your flight anxiety skyrocket as I point out the exits and make you realize there is no safe way out of here in the case of a crash landing. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
4093 See we just planted a tree! 1.0704 0.03657 71 67 3 1
4094 -In case of decompression say "Alakazam"! 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
4095 And now, ladies and gentlemen, we will witness the apparition of complete apathy! 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
4096 And now all of your checked luggage will magically disappear ! 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
4097 And voila -- 9/11 never happened! 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
4098 With this simple wand and a few long, magical incantations, I shall place you all under a trance (aka: bore you to sleep!) And when you awaken, everyone will have magically been physically transported across the country!” 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
4099 If you meet me at baggage claim, I'll pull your luggage out of my hat. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
4100 And now, watch as the overhead baggage space vanishes before your very eyes … thanks to the man in 12C and his excessive carry-on. 1.0702 0.04233 57 54 2 1
4101 For my next trick I'm going to make the snacks disappear! 1.0690 0.04161 58 55 2 1
4102 And now, after my scintillating airline safety monologue, I'd like to continue with a little magic trick and soft shoe routine. Ta-dah 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
4103 Abrakadraba! Your masks are gone! 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
4104 And in the event of an emergency, the emergency doors will open, I’ll sprinkle you all with pixie dust, and you’ll be able to fly out the doors to safety. 1.0690 0.04161 58 55 2 1
4105 Et voila! All your bags have disappeared! 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
4106 Is there another magician on this plane? I can only perform magic with another magician. One of our only two engines has failed. 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
4107 All I wish for is on-time departure, 32" legroom, and one of those little bags of pretzels. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
4108 In the event of a water landing….. 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
4109 For my next trick a real meal with proper cutlery. 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
4110 “No one showed up today. Who would like to become a Flight Attendant?” 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
4111 We are magically ascending! We will magically descend! The baby is hip to this... 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
4112 There will be an additional fee for entertainment added to your credit card. 1.0667 0.04924 45 43 1 1
4113 Im not only a flight attendant” he winks. 1.0667 0.04674 60 58 0 2
4114 And for my next trick, I’m going to make your legroom disappear. 1.0667 0.03247 60 56 4 0
4115 And now, I'll make your baggage disappear 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4116 For my next trick, I'll make all the carry-on luggage fit in the overhead bins! Just kidding, that's impossible! 1.0667 0.03247 60 56 4 0
4117 Welcome to the bulkhead, I guess you all know why we're here. My name is Tommy. 1.0656 0.03196 61 57 4 0
4118 How about I just conger up a bag of peanuts for you, sir! 1.0652 0.03681 46 43 3 0
4119 You thought I was the pilot. I made him disappear. 1.0652 0.03681 46 43 3 0
4120 And for one dollar I will make a water bottle spear before your vey eyes 1.0652 0.03681 46 43 3 0
4121 I am your captain and this is my magic wand that will get you where you want to go. 1.0652 0.04818 46 44 1 1
4122 Anyone connecting through Atlanta? 1.0652 0.03681 46 43 3 0
4123 And for my next trick I will make the World Trade Center disappear. 1.0645 0.03145 62 58 4 0
4124 Do I have a volunteer to be sawn in half? It does wonders for leg-room. But you will need to buy a 2nd ticket. 1.0645 0.03145 62 58 4 0
4125 My rabbit is helping the pilot fty the plane. 1.0645 0.03896 62 59 2 1
4126 Rub my wand and maybe free snacks will come back! 1.0645 0.03145 62 58 4 0
4127 And POOF!... The Pilot & co-pilot are 35,000 feet below on the ground. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
4128 For my next trick I will send you to JFK, and your bags to SLC. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
4129 Now watch as I bring the plane down safely on the runway. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
4130 My greatest trick is making your plane food taste better. 1.0635 0.03835 63 60 2 1
4131 And in the unlikely event of a water landing .... 1.0635 0.03835 63 60 2 1
4132 We no longer serve food on our flights,but you’ll find a Slim Jim under your seat in case you actually get that hungry. 1.0635 0.03097 63 59 4 0
4133 ...and as a MAGA practitioner, I can make Liberty disappear... not just the freaking statue. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
4134 On your flight to D.C., we know you have a choice. That's why we are turning around. 1.0625 0.04619 48 46 1 1
4135 And if you can demonstrate how to use the seat cushion, the kid behind you will stop kicking. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
4136 If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn't have went down like it did. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
4137 …and now your meal will taste of…NOTHING! 1.0615 0.03719 65 62 2 1
4138 Abracadabra,whip out your cock! 1.0612 0.04525 49 47 1 1
4139 For my next trick I’ll make all the germs on the airplane disappear 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
4140 The disappearing leg-room trick! Now watch as I transform the customary peanut snack into stale pretzels! 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
4141 And, for my next trick... I will make your leg room even smaller! 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
4142 In the event of a sudden drop in cabin entertainment, I will magically descend from the ceiling to entertain the little ones. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
4143 And as if by magic, Emma Thompson got off the plane in London from New York to lecture everyone about climate change 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
4144 Abracadabra, an oxygen mask will appear wherever this wand is pointed! 1.0606 0.02960 66 62 4 0
4145 Returning the pilot… er.. that’s the tricky part 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
4146 Abra-cadabra flipipity flance, your luggage is now on its way to France! 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
4147 For my next trick I'll be making your luggage disappear and reappear in Cleveland. 1.0600 0.04435 50 48 1 1
4148 Don't worry - I made you temporarily invisible for just another year or two , because I am the one and only Joe Bidenini - the ass in chief. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
4149 now i would be showing you a magic trick on how ill make your ears pop 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
4150 Re-PUL-sion....tops anxiety EV-ery time....Pro-PUL-sion...won't let us STOP on a dime..... 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
4151 Voila! Your meals have disappeared. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
4152 And now for my first trick, we will lose your luggage BEFORE we leave the gate! 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
4153 Abracadabra! Your seats I’ll widen wide wide wide… and…done! Have a nice flight! 1.0597 0.03609 67 64 2 1
4154 Low cost and low brow! 1.0588 0.04349 51 49 1 1
4155 And, now I'll turn the packages of pretzels into caviar! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
4156 Just like that, you can feel your legs and feet again! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
4157 So,I wave the wand; anything outside TSA regs, on your person or in your carry ons, disappears! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
4158 And for my last trick, I’m going to make your luggage disappear! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
4159 So you give a coin then i go clean the front windows! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
4160 Petrificus Totalus, everybody! 1.0577 0.03265 52 49 3 0
4161 And for my next trick, I'll make all of your checked luggage disappear! 1.0577 0.03265 52 49 3 0
4162 Welcome aboard lay back and relax when you wake don't be alarmed if you see a one legged pirate 1.0577 0.03265 52 49 3 0
4163 See how easy it was to make your COVID masks disappear? 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
4164 First-class entertainment is complimentary with your seating upgrades. 1.0566 0.04186 53 51 1 1
4165 Abracadabra! When we land you'll be magically charged for two extra seats for your child. 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
4166 Now, what would you like to eat? 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
4167 When I snap my fingers you will bark like a dog! 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
4168 Abra- cadabra sim-sala-bim!Ryanair is now the airline of dream! 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
4169 And for my next trick, I’ll put a paper airplane in The New Yorker 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
4170 I will make your vegan meal magically appear in flight just for you. 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
4171 I will make that annoying baby behind you magically disappear! 1.0563 0.03409 71 68 2 1
4172 Welcome to Magic Air -our service is terrible and so is the entertainment.” 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
4173 Now,who wants to know how planes actually fly? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
4174 Yabba dabba doo! Oops, I mean … 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
4175 For the next trick, I will be making our plane take off in 3 ... 2 ... 1. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
4176 I'm a magician on a plane. 1.0545 0.03090 55 52 3 0
4177 Of Thee I Sing, Baby 1.0545 0.03090 55 52 3 0
4178 From the Captain: Due to mistreatment of flight attendants, drink service will be replaced by lengthy magic shows. 1.0536 0.03036 56 53 3 0
4179 And now I will make it snow for the next 3 hours 1.0536 0.03036 56 53 3 0
4180 Watch me make your luggage disappear. 1.0536 0.03036 56 53 3 0
4181 For my next trick I will attempt to give you a discount on your next flight. 1.0536 0.03036 56 53 3 0
4182 The Machine Gun Kelly record is good actually 1.0526 0.02984 57 54 3 0
4183 Are you sure you're not going to turn us into a frog? Yessss. 1.0517 0.03828 58 56 1 1
4184 And for my next trick… I’m going to make the pilot disappear.” 1.0517 0.02933 58 55 3 0
4185 Due to staff shortages, I trained the pilots. It will turn out well. Robert Jablon/rcjablon@aol.com/202-333-5332 1.0517 0.02933 58 55 3 0
4186 Voila! No babies crying ‘til we land! 1.0500 0.02837 60 57 3 0
4187 abracadabra -- poof! - the pandemic vanished! 1.0492 0.02792 61 58 3 0
4188 I now have a flight of 'stares' da dah. 1.0488 0.03406 41 39 2 0
4189 Now watch as I make the landing gear disappear. 1.0488 0.03406 41 39 2 0
4190 Wingardium Leviosa." It worked for my nephew Harry's broomstick 1.0484 0.02747 62 59 3 0
4191 With a wave of my wand poof! The smells from the lavatory will disappear! 1.0476 0.03326 42 40 2 0
4192 And poof! Three inches of legroom! 1.0476 0.02705 63 60 3 0
4193 Please remain seated with your seat belt fastened and keep the aisle clear ! 1.0469 0.02663 64 61 3 0
4194 And my first trick is; to make all of you disappear. Ta Da! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
4195 For this next part of the safety demonstration, I'll need a volunteer from the audience. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
4196 Did you request more leg room 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
4197 And for my next trick I'm going to make the pilot disappear because he's humping my wife! 1.0444 0.04444 45 44 0 1
4198 In case of a sudden loss of power, remain calm, this levitation wand will automatically activate and keep us airborne 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
4199 Abracadabra,we lost your luggage. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
4200 U can’t always get what u want… 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
4201 I’m going to crash this plane into the World Trade Centre and everyone will blame Al-Qaeda. 😢 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
4202 For my next trick, a pleasant flight. 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
4203 What happened to the economy? Uh oh! I am concerned about the economy. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
4204 Can I go back to watching the plane fly over the states on my screen - this new in-flight entertainment sucks! 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
4205 And for my next trick, I'll make your meals disappear for the remainder of the flight! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
4206 I'm Jack, and I'll magically make the time pass two minutes faster. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
4207 And those were the eight magic words that qualified as express advocacy! 1.0417 0.02372 72 69 3 0
4208 I shall now replace everyone else on this flight with crying babies. 1.0408 0.02856 49 47 2 0
4209 Nothing to worry about folks, just a little stage magic - Abra-Cadabra!! 1.0400 0.02799 50 48 2 0
4210 As my grandfather, Mitch Miller, cajoled, sing along with me 1.0400 0.02799 50 48 2 0
4211 Repeat after me... There is no Covid... 1.0400 0.02799 50 48 2 0
4212 Abraca-captain says to expect a 30-minute tarmac delay before takeoff. 1.0392 0.02745 51 49 2 0
4213 I can make anything disappear. A dove, a rabbit, your face, flight 370! 1.0385 0.02693 52 50 2 0
4214 And now she’s going to make your quiet, relaxing flight disappear! 1.0385 0.02693 52 50 2 0
4215 Hocus-pocus, airplane's wings to swarm of locusts. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
4216 No, you cannot upgrade to First Class. I just do magic tricks. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
4217 I thought they announced they could only provide us with one meal on this flight. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
4218 You can fly, you can fly... but not just now! 1.0370 0.02594 54 52 2 0
4219 We all know how magically the baggage handlers can make your luggage disappear…but just watch this ! 1.0370 0.02594 54 52 2 0
4220 more legroom anyone? 1.0364 0.02547 55 53 2 0
4221 Now I'll turn 2A into a Commercial Airline Pilot. 1.0357 0.02502 56 54 2 0
4222 Abra Cadabra - And now I will make the pilot disappear! 1.0357 0.02502 56 54 2 0
4223 For only an additional $39, I can give 12 inches of new legroom. 1.0357 0.02502 56 54 2 0
4224 To help you forget the delays, cancelations, less leg room, and no more snacks we have a few tricks. 1.0357 0.02502 56 54 2 0
4225 With my magic wand you will find the love of your life seated behind you. 1.0351 0.02459 57 55 2 0
4226 Presto chango! The amount of space between you and the seat in front of you will now reduce by half. 1.0345 0.02417 58 56 2 0
4227 You know, if I remove your legs, you might actuality sit comfortably. 1.0339 0.02376 59 57 2 0
4228 I will now make your interest disappear. 1.0339 0.02376 59 57 2 0
4229 Sorry, folks. All the liquor has magically disappeared. 1.0333 0.02337 60 58 2 0
4230 Bippity bopity boop… there is your Xanax sir, that’ll be $20. 1.0333 0.02337 60 58 2 0
4231 Ta-da! No more meals, snacks, drinks, pillows, blankets, or that luggage you checked! 1.0323 0.02262 62 60 2 0
4232 THERE - Your kid stopped fussing... For drinks - YOU do the magic... 1.0317 0.02227 63 61 2 0
4233 And now for my last trick, I will make the plain land without the traditional landing gear. This is a new trick I have been working on, so hope it works OK... Oh! And I am sorry for the Wi-Fi's malfunction. Sit tight and enjoy the rest of the show. 1.0294 0.02064 68 66 2 0
4234 The next thing you know, they won't even give us peanuts. Steve Weiss, Chicago, Illinois 1.0294 0.02064 68 66 2 0
4235 And for a low surcharge of $13, I'll make your watch... reappear! 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
4236 And on the count of three I will cancel this flight. One, two …. 1.0233 0.02353 43 42 1 0
4237 And now I will magically change the dinner rolls into ice cold bricks! 1.0233 0.02353 43 42 1 0
4238 And when I shake this wand, the hat turns into a bunch of posies. 1.0222 0.02247 45 44 1 0
4239 And for my next ten-thousand feat… 1.0192 0.01942 52 51 1 0
4240 I guess he's not going to disappear. 1.0192 0.01942 52 51 1 0
4241 Shazam... your luggage is in pokipsy! 1.0000 0.01770 57 57 0 0
4242 I will wave this magic wand and your luggage will suddenly Disappear. 1.0000 0.02105 48 48 0 0
4243 Those of you seated in economy will notice that I've made your legroom disappear! 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0