Contest #823


Cartoon

823

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Think of a delay between one and ten hours.”
  2. “We’ve overbooked, so I am going to make six of you disappear.”
  3. “Will you be having the rabbit or the dove?”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2022-10-16T19:28:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2022-10-30T19:29:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2022-10-24T19:29:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued October 31, 2022
Number of captions 4244
Number of responses 397422
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Be grateful you're not in business class. They have a mime. 1.7857 0.02681 854 373 291 190
1 And for my next trick I will turn a twenty dollar bill into a bag of seven almonds. 1.7260 0.01852 1927 973 509 445
2 I'm going to need to turn somebody into a pilot. 1.7255 0.01611 2477 1229 699 549
3 I call this next trick '"Overbooked Flight", and I will need three volunteers from the audience. 1.7208 0.02038 1551 776 432 343
4 Watch me pull out some hidden fees from thin air. 1.7096 0.02269 1181 580 364 237
5 You heard me right ladies and gentlemen; we're arriving early and your luggage is on this plane! 1.6796 0.01974 1498 754 470 274
6 And now I'll need a volunteer for my vanishing act. This flight is overbooked. 1.6617 0.02475 931 476 294 161
7 I’m here to fit the carry on bags into the overhead bins. 1.6586 0.02527 864 436 287 141
8 A few more hours in that seat and you'll be begging me to saw you in half. 1.6583 0.02484 919 471 291 157
9 Pick an airport, any airport. 1.6458 0.02170 1183 613 376 194
10 I’ll grant any wish that does not involve seat size or legroom. 1.6418 0.02432 910 466 304 140
11 Can I get a volunteer...maybe someone who's landed a plane? 1.6301 0.02386 1076 602 270 204
12 And Poof! Your connecting flight is gone! 1.6247 0.02606 818 438 249 131
13 We've overbooked, so I am going to make six of you disappear. 1.6231 0.02288 1064 572 321 171
14 For my next trick I'll have you arrive on time with your luggage. 1.6143 0.02708 726 387 232 107
15 Nothing up my sleeve, it was confiscated at security. 1.6133 0.02470 900 488 272 140
16 I love this gig. Nobody can walk out! 1.6025 0.02900 644 353 194 97
17 Chicken or rabbit? 1.6004 0.02319 1001 549 303 149
18 Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has now turned on the ‘applause’ sign. 1.5932 0.02402 944 527 274 143
19 And when I snap my fingers, a lucky one among you will actually make his connecting flight! 1.5906 0.02459 828 446 275 107
20 A second bag of peanuts? You realize I'm not an actual magician, right? 1.5849 0.02450 901 508 259 134
21 … and when you wake up you will have remembered a perfect flight, a great flight crew, with excellent food and a great landing. 1.5845 0.02467 893 505 254 134
22 Everyone click your heels and say, "There's no place like Newark." 1.5842 0.02554 861 495 229 137
23 My career doesn’t seem to be taking off, either. 1.5809 0.02584 871 512 212 147
24 Now sit back, relax and enjoy the delay 1.5774 0.02895 627 353 186 88
25 Remember the fun, excitement, and glamour of plane travel? Watch it disappear! 1.5767 0.02492 834 467 253 114
26 Watch carefully, as some of our safety options may have changed. 1.5767 0.02667 737 415 219 103
27 For my next trick, we'll be landing on time. 1.5758 0.02696 818 490 185 143
28 I'm in charge of recovering lost luggage. 1.5709 0.02895 776 490 129 157
29 I will now saw a woman in half and she still won't have legroom. 1.5698 0.02980 695 428 138 129
30 It’s either me for a whole hour or she kicks your seat for the whole trip. 1.5695 0.03008 583 333 168 82
31 "One last magic trick before I head back to the cockpit!" 1.5682 0.02654 748 428 215 105
32 Thank you for levitating with us today. 1.5674 0.02677 742 427 209 106
33 Yes, I am technically your pilot, but magic is my true passion. 1.5658 0.02844 691 408 175 108
34 Watch me pull a full-sized suitcase from this overhead bin! 1.5649 0.02656 717 405 219 93
35 When I wave this, you'll remember our on-time departure, and a smooth takeoff followed by a delicious meal. 1.5590 0.02786 669 386 192 91
36 We actually don't need magic to make your bags disappear. 1.5585 0.03847 376 224 94 58
37 And now for my next trick, I will silence all the children in the cabin! 1.5584 0.02675 668 372 219 77
38 You’re in economy. First class gets the movie. 1.5571 0.02751 657 373 202 82
39 Our meal options today are chicken, fish, and - if I can pull this off - rabbit. 1.5547 0.02926 640 381 163 96
40 And now I will make your oversized bag disappear, only to magically reappear in Phoenix with a $35 charge on your card. 1.5499 0.02795 611 345 196 70
41 Ta da! You are now in first class. 1.5498 0.02883 613 356 177 80
42 Now close your eyes and repeat three times: The landing gear is down. The landing gear is down. The landing gear is down. 1.5401 0.02961 561 326 167 68
43 And “poof” there goes your connecting flight. 1.5346 0.03214 535 330 124 81
44 Now watch as I disable your call buttons for the remainder of the flight. 1.5308 0.03180 503 301 137 65
45 You're following my magic wand. Your eyes are growing heavy. You're forgetting about the twenty-six hour delay. 1.5305 0.03253 475 283 132 60
46 I made your leg room disappear! 1.5281 0.03062 498 289 155 54
47 Just be glad you're not in coach- they have a mime. 1.5274 0.03267 493 301 124 68
48 If you believe, and have a credit card, anything is possible! 1.5251 0.03157 478 281 143 54
49 More leg room? Sorry, I do tricks, not miracles. 1.5243 0.03399 473 295 108 70
50 For my next trick, we will depart on time. 1.5228 0.03371 461 283 115 63
51 And now I will magically turn our one hour delay into a four hour delay. 1.5217 0.03248 460 274 132 54
52 We didn’t lose your luggage, it disappeared. 1.5215 0.05213 209 133 43 33
53 Think of a delay between one and ten hours. 1.5140 0.03413 428 261 114 53
54 …for my next trick, I will need a large body of water and a seat cushion. 1.5140 0.03316 428 255 126 47
55 Behold, Tarmac the Magnificent. 1.5129 0.03543 425 267 98 60
56 And now, when I open the overhead door, there will be space! 1.5107 0.03317 419 249 126 44
57 It was the only way to get my rabbit through security. 1.5086 0.03436 405 245 114 46
58 You shouldn’t complain, economy class has a mime. 1.5085 0.03638 413 264 88 61
59 We have a new solution to overbooking. 1.5073 0.03560 410 257 98 55
60 There's nothing up my sleeve, or in my pockets or shoes. 1.5071 0.03807 422 284 62 76
61 How else do you think we get this lump of metal in the air ... physics? 1.5014 0.03754 365 230 87 48
62 Alakazam! And the obnoxious gentleman in 26-B has lost the use of his vocal cords. 1.5000 0.03551 382 235 103 44
63 Despite Bruce’s efforts, his act wasn’t as popular as the drink cart. 1.4974 0.03484 392 241 107 44
64 The real trick is if we take off on time. 1.4973 0.03651 368 229 95 44
65 That noisy, drunk guy back in coach is now a toad. You’re welcome. 1.4959 0.03833 365 236 77 52
66 For my next trick...levitation. 1.4934 0.03721 377 242 84 51
67 For my next trick, you'll magically believe you have more leg room 1.4930 0.03459 359 214 113 32
68 Remember that crying baby in seat 10b? 1.4910 0.03666 387 249 86 52
69 And now…..a show of hands please. Who would like me to make the pilots reappear? 1.4899 0.04144 296 189 69 38
70 Yes,I am a flying sorcerer 1.4899 0.03918 345 224 73 48
71 You've been a great audience... now back to the cockpit. 1.4898 0.03826 343 218 82 43
72 My live magic show replaces our in-flight movie, cancelled over complaints of its violence and insensitive treatment of women, which we can't condone. For my first trick, I'll be sawing a woman in half." 1.4898 0.03914 343 222 74 47
73 Peanuts? Check your left pocket 1.4891 0.03925 321 203 79 39
74 And should levitation fail, you may use your seat cushion as a floatation device. 1.4881 0.03807 295 177 92 26
75 Pick an arrival time, any arrival time. 1.4875 0.03533 361 221 104 36
76 Now that your meals have vanished, I will now shrink the legroom. 1.4867 0.03745 339 212 89 38
77 I will now move you freely about the cabin. 1.4866 0.03754 335 209 89 37
78 If cabin pressure changes, a rabbit will drop from the panel above you. 1.4821 0.03600 336 205 100 31
79 I will now pull an emotional support animal out of my hat. 1.4817 0.03933 328 212 74 42
80 Voila! This flight is going to leave on time. 1.4752 0.03763 303 186 90 27
81 Next, we'll make your luggage disappear. 1.4727 0.04029 330 221 62 47
82 I will now make the kid kicking your seat behind you vanish!" 1.4724 0.03728 326 205 88 33
83 Think of a crash sight between here and Denver. 1.4715 0.04378 316 223 37 56
84 And for my next trick, I'm going to make all of the passengers on this flight thoughtful and polite. 1.4712 0.04039 295 190 71 34
85 I wasn’t able to give you more leg room , so I shortened your legs - you are welcome 1.4710 0.04052 310 204 66 40
86 In case of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, a rabbit will fall out over your heads. 1.4700 0.03961 300 192 75 33
87 And what snack that we don't have do you wish for? 1.4700 0.03818 300 187 85 28
88 In the event of an emergency, we ask that you all clap your hands and say "We believe." 1.4692 0.03892 292 183 81 28
89 Think of a gate number between 1 and 10. 1.4686 0.03904 303 193 78 32
90 First class got David Copperfield. 1.4683 0.04302 284 190 55 39
91 Free upgrade to first class? I’m a magician not a miracle worker 1.4678 0.03923 295 187 78 30
92 On the count of three, you will awaken feeling refreshed …as if you’ve just eaten a small bag of peanuts and been served a complimentary beverage. 1.4656 0.05171 189 125 40 24
93 Beef, chicken or rabbit? 1.4650 0.04011 314 208 66 40
94 We can make your luggage, your connecting flight and your peace of mind all magically disappear. 1.4624 0.04239 279 185 59 35
95 My favorite trick is making you believe we're actually going to get there. 1.4599 0.04655 274 195 32 47
96 Hey...if I was good at magic we'd be there already. 1.4588 0.04962 194 127 45 22
97 Actually, I'm your captain. 1.4583 0.03989 288 186 72 30
98 We didn’t lose your luggage, we made it disappear. 1.4582 0.04187 299 203 55 41
99 And for my next trick I’ll make flying coach enjoyable. 1.4568 0.04061 278 180 69 29
100 Presto. I changed your seat cushions into flotation devices. 1.4564 0.04177 287 192 59 36
101 Who wants me to make the pilot reappear? 1.4558 0.04131 283 187 63 33
102 How did you think planes stay aloft? 1.4554 0.04118 303 205 58 40
103 I will now use this to restart Engine 2! 1.4531 0.04348 256 170 56 30
104 Now watch your legroom...disappear! 1.4528 0.04229 254 165 63 26
105 For my next trick, we'll depart LaGuardia on time. 1.4525 0.04262 263 174 59 30
106 And for my ultimate magic trick, we shall arrive on time. 1.4521 0.03981 303 201 67 35
107 Expecto Delaynum! 1.4506 0.04203 253 164 64 25
108 Like magic, three seats fit in a space for two. 1.4500 0.04638 240 164 44 32
109 The captain will reappear any second now. 1.4498 0.04352 269 183 51 35
110 Now, for my most amazing trick I will make you feel comfortable in an airplane seat! 1.4472 0.04249 246 160 62 24
111 Please look closely at the wand as I magically draw your attention away from the fine meal and beverage service in first class. 1.4461 0.04351 269 184 50 35
112 I've just made six tiny bottles of vodka disappear. 1.4449 0.04298 254 169 57 28
113 Greetings, fellow flyers. I'm your unrealistic expectations. 1.4440 0.03944 259 164 75 20
114 You can now tell everyone that you've seen a flying sorcerer! 1.4440 0.04545 241 164 47 30
115 Abracadabra! Your luggage is in Cleveland 1.4432 0.04177 264 175 61 28
116 For my next trick I will give you all reclining seats with leg room and a pillow . 1.4430 0.04616 228 154 47 27
117 And now, for only $9 (cash only), I can make a Bacardi miniature appear. 1.4402 0.04232 234 151 63 20
118 The wand, located next to each airsick bag, is for wishful thinking. 1.4395 0.04297 248 165 57 26
119 Just $100. and a swish of my wand and I can give you more leg room! 1.4394 0.04035 264 172 68 24
120 Anybody care for more legroom ? 1.4392 0.04023 255 164 70 21
121 Presto! I have made your legroom disappear. 1.4389 0.04198 262 175 59 28
122 For my next trick I will restart the engines! 1.4378 0.04659 233 161 42 30
123 Welcome aboard! I'm your airy godmother! 1.4367 0.04334 245 164 55 26
124 If you upgraded to first class you would have seen Blue Man Group. 1.4360 0.04155 250 164 63 23
125 For my next trick, I will send all your luggage to Boise. 1.4350 0.04235 223 143 63 17
126 What? You think the oxygen mask just appears out of thin air? 1.4348 0.04053 230 145 70 15
127 For my next trick your luggage will disappear. 1.4329 0.04310 231 152 58 21
128 I will now conjure mental images of salt pretzels for our valued Economy passengers! 1.4312 0.04631 218 148 46 24
129 Shazzzam! We're on time! 1.4312 0.04445 218 144 54 20
130 If someone lost their support animal rabbit, I think I found it. 1.4304 0.04322 230 152 57 21
131 With a flick I can tell you where your luggage will end up. 1.4292 0.04583 212 142 49 21
132 For my next trick, I will make your luggage disappear. 1.4269 0.04035 260 172 65 23
133 If this trick works, your luggage will arrive in LA at the same time you do. 1.4262 0.04311 237 159 55 23
134 Hello and good morning! I am your inflight entertainment for the next 12 hours. 1.4252 0.04351 214 140 57 17
135 Last wishes? 1.4245 0.04770 212 147 40 25
136 Finally, a captive audience 1.4244 0.04171 238 157 61 20
137 And now I’m going to make your leg-room disappear.” 1.4242 0.04760 198 134 44 20
138 You will now behave like human beings.... 1.4231 0.04541 208 139 50 19
139 You'll note our captain is now in the overhead compartment. 1.4229 0.05014 201 142 33 26
140 Can we arrive on time? I'm a magician, not a miracle worker! 1.4227 0.04549 220 150 47 23
141 And for my final trick---the disappearing luggage. 1.4227 0.04728 220 154 39 27
142 You now believe you're first class flyers. 1.4222 0.04339 225 150 55 20
143 For my next trick, I will send everyone's overhead luggage to baggage claim 1.4220 0.04293 218 143 58 17
144 Now, I need a volunteer! Someone who can land a plane! 1.4211 0.04819 209 146 38 25
145 If he can make free snacks appear I’ll be impressed 1.4198 0.04387 243 168 48 27
146 Presto! Your leg room seems comfortable. 1.4196 0.04163 224 146 62 16
147 And abracadabra, your luggage is in a different city. 1.4195 0.04483 236 164 45 27
148 And for my next trick, I need a volunteer who knows how to fly a plane..” 1.4190 0.04557 210 142 48 20
149 Due to rising gas prices,we will be using magic to fly this plane! 1.4187 0.04773 203 140 41 22
150 Magicians? Of course we are. How do you think these planes keep flying? 1.4187 0.04510 203 135 51 17
151 I'm your Flight Delay Entertainment, and haven't had a day off in twelve years! 1.4181 0.04329 232 157 53 22
152 Watch, as I make your luggage - disappear! 1.4178 0.04748 213 149 39 25
153 Abracadabra. We're flying! 1.4171 0.04403 199 130 55 14
154 I can't get it open either. 1.4167 0.04272 204 132 59 13
155 I can pull a rabbit out of my hat, but not your lost luggage. 1.4162 0.05035 197 140 32 25
156 Now you see the drink cart, now you don’t! 1.4158 0.04468 202 134 52 16
157 ...and presto! No more legroom! 1.4152 0.04393 224 152 51 21
158 I know many of you wonder what really keeps the plane up in the air... 1.4145 0.04671 193 130 46 17
159 I call this next one "Vanishing Legroom". 1.4143 0.04602 210 144 45 21
160 On 3 everyone: ‘I can fly!’ 1.4133 0.04598 225 158 41 26
161 For my next trick, I will turn 5 peanuts into a sufficient snack for an adult-sized human. 1.4133 0.04562 196 131 49 16
162 For my next trick, I will make your seats comfortable. 1.4128 0.04478 218 149 48 21
163 After the magic show I must return to the cockpit and relieve the clown. 1.4115 0.04714 209 146 40 23
164 And now, due to budgetary constraints, I’ll make your free carry-on privileges disappear! 1.4115 0.04446 192 126 53 13
165 And now I’m going to make your luggage disappear!! 1.4112 0.04585 214 148 44 22
166 Abra-cadabra! Everyone in coach will now believe that they’re comfortable! 1.4112 0.04537 214 147 46 21
167 I hope he's not the pilot 1.4112 0.04537 214 147 46 21
168 And when we land, I'm going to change you all from sardines back to humans! 1.4105 0.04719 190 129 44 17
169 Watch closely now as I make all the comforts of commercial flight magically disappear! 1.4104 0.04518 212 145 47 20
170 Bear with me folks. . . one last attempt to make the beverage cart appear before final descent. 1.4095 0.04447 210 142 50 18
171 Everything appears out of thin air at this altitude, folks. 1.4086 0.04604 186 124 48 14
172 And that’s how we rid our planes of Covid, ladies and gentleman! 1.4082 0.04556 196 132 48 16
173 Pick a destination, any destination. 1.4080 0.04531 201 136 48 17
174 Hocus Pocus and Abracadabra. We’re headed to Paris but your bag’s still in Tampa. 1.4076 0.05125 184 131 31 22
175 And for my next trick, I will make this aircraft levitate. 1.4076 0.04629 211 147 42 22
176 Three wishes, but I can’t fix leg room. 1.4064 0.04947 187 131 36 20
177 In case of an emergency, each of you has one of these. 1.4062 0.04907 192 135 36 21
178 Will you be having the rabbit or the dove? 1.4061 0.04706 197 136 42 19
179 Welcome to Tesla Airlines, I am your Captain…. 1.4059 0.04881 202 144 34 24
180 And now for my next trick, I will bring around actually editable gourmet meals for everyone. 1.4054 0.04744 185 126 43 16
181 For my next trick Governor DeSantis survives our trip to Martha's Vineyard 1.4053 0.04714 190 130 43 17
182 I'm not only a pilot, I'm also an amateur magician. Watch as I land the plane from here. 1.4050 0.04489 200 135 49 16
183 See me turn a seat cushion into a flotation device! 1.4047 0.04418 215 147 49 19
184 I’ll be your anger management specialist for today’s flight. 1.4043 0.04503 188 125 50 13
185 Who else wants to see their money disappear? 1.4041 0.04718 193 133 42 18
186 Now, I want you to close your eyes and imagine you are flying first class. 1.4040 0.04520 198 134 48 16
187 Presto! Less baggage space and more fees! 1.4040 0.04463 198 133 50 15
188 Business class gets a fire eater and sword swallower. 1.4038 0.04396 213 145 50 18
189 And PRESTO! —You’re watch is now three hours ahead of time! 1.4028 0.04526 211 146 45 20
190 When I wave this wand, it will feel like someone is kicking the back of your seat. 1.4021 0.04787 189 131 40 18
191 And while his act was marvelous, the only trick the crowd waited for was for the pilot to return to his seat. 1.4021 0.04974 194 139 32 23
192 The Magic School Bus wasn't hiring. 1.4020 0.04478 204 139 48 17
193 You are sitting in a comfortable lounge chair on a warm beach, and will remember nothing of the next four hours. 1.4011 0.04981 182 128 35 19
194 And for my next trick I'll make all your luggage disappear 1.4010 0.05120 192 140 27 25
195 For my next trick I'll get this kid to stop kicking your seat. 1.4010 0.04674 192 132 43 17
196 I'm looking for a few brave volunteers... the flight is overbooked. 1.4010 0.04589 197 135 45 17
197 And yes sir, 'leg-room' is also an illusion. 1.4000 0.04863 175 120 40 15
198 For my next trick, I need a volunteer to fly the plane. 1.4000 0.04465 190 127 50 13
199 The pilot would like to know if you believe in magic. 1.3991 0.04483 223 157 43 23
200 ...and viola!.....no leg room 1.3990 0.04895 198 142 33 23
201 And now, we will create six more inches of leg space, if everyone just believes... 1.3988 0.04969 173 120 37 16
202 Would you like it to taste like fish or chicken? 1.3980 0.04429 196 132 50 14
203 And now to chop your legroom in half. 1.3979 0.04747 191 133 40 18
204 For my next trick, I'll make your connecting flight disappear 1.3979 0.04629 191 131 44 16
205 An inflight meal? I do magic tricks, not miracles. 1.3978 0.04898 186 131 36 19
206 ...and nothing in my right hand. No in-flight meal, no beverage, no little bag of nuts. Nothing. 1.3969 0.04969 194 140 31 23
207 If the airline hadn't lost my rabbit, you'd really love this next trick. 1.3967 0.04936 184 130 35 19
208 And now for my most requested trick, I will make a crying baby vanish! 1.3966 0.05037 179 127 33 19
209 Voila! In-flight service has disappeared. 1.3966 0.04846 179 124 39 16
210 Misbehave and the magic wand becomes a taser. 1.3966 0.04781 179 123 41 15
211 Watch closely as I make your leg room. . . disappear! 1.3966 0.04525 174 115 49 10
212 For those of you in economy, this is just a stick. 1.3966 0.05334 174 127 25 22
213 For my next trick, everyone makes their connecting flight! 1.3959 0.04858 197 141 34 22
214 You have to believe the oxygen is going to flow. 1.3957 0.04696 187 129 42 16
215 Abracadabra... we will arrive on time! 1.3957 0.04696 187 129 42 16
216 And now for my next trick: an on-time departure! 1.3953 0.05120 172 122 32 18
217 My best one is when I make your luggage disappear and reappear a week later at your home. 1.3953 0.04777 172 117 42 13
218 For your safety, there is a magic wand stored under your seat. In the event of an emergency, please locate the magic wand and recite the spell you will find in the safety leaflet stored in the seat pocket in front of you. 1.3950 0.04588 200 139 43 18
219 There's magic in the air. We're on time! 1.3946 0.04410 185 123 51 11
220 Welcome! I'm here to distract you from the discomfort of flying with us today. 1.3936 0.04426 188 126 50 12
221 Ladies and Gentlemen, if you are travelling with small children today, I can turn them into rabbits 1.3936 0.04490 188 127 48 13
222 For my next trick: Leg room! 1.3934 0.04574 183 124 46 13
223 For my first trick, we’ll take off on time 1.3929 0.05068 168 118 34 16
224 And for my next trick I will make you believe you have unlimted legroom. 1.3927 0.04740 191 134 39 18
225 When I say the magic word, this plane will be delayed for no apparent reason. 1.3927 0.04682 191 133 41 17
226 And for my next trick, I'll make the in-flight movie appear Oscar-worthy." 1.3920 0.04546 199 138 44 17
227 Look at me! Not at the flaming engine! 1.3916 0.05182 166 118 31 17
228 Don't worry! When we all say restorowingus" the left wing will magically GROW back. Ready... 1.3915 0.04716 189 132 40 17
229 For my next trick I'll make time fly. Just kidding. 1.3911 0.04840 179 125 38 16
230 You can clap after the landing 1.3908 0.04662 174 118 44 12
231 When I say the secret word, “dummies”, you will wake up refreshed, your knees won’t feel crammed in, your butts will be numb, and you won’t want any beverages or snacks. 1.3905 0.04830 169 116 40 13
232 Your connecting flight is on time! 1.3892 0.04942 167 116 37 14
233 And for my next trick, you will arrive in Baltimore, and your luggage will arrive in New York. 1.3889 0.04818 180 126 38 16
234 One last trick and then I’d better get back to the cockpit. 1.3889 0.04818 180 126 38 16
235 And now, with a little help from my lovely stewardess, we're going to saw your legroom in half. 1.3871 0.04765 186 131 38 17
236 And just like that, your flight is canceled! 1.3867 0.04666 181 125 42 14
237 Sit for a spell. 1.3862 0.04336 189 127 51 11
238 For my next trick…more legroom! 1.3859 0.04611 184 127 43 14
239 Presto! Your baggage has disappeared but will magically reappear when and where you least expect it! 1.3858 0.04683 197 140 38 19
240 This is your in-flight entertainment 1.3854 0.04537 192 133 44 15
241 For my next act, I will convince you that a 90 ton box will rise 6 miles above sea level, travel 1000 miles, remain perfectly pressurized at 75 degrees, land with the tiniest bump, and has no environmental impact. 1.3854 0.04655 192 135 40 17
242 I call this next one, 'Auto Pilot.' 1.3851 0.04831 161 110 40 11
243 And just like that, your extra leg room is gone. 1.3846 0.04766 156 105 42 9
244 And, voilà! Your seat will now recline about an inch. 1.3846 0.04748 169 116 41 12
245 Ever wonder how airplanes fly? 1.3837 0.04832 172 120 38 14
246 And for my next trick, I'm going to make it possible for your bags to fit in the overhead bin. 1.3834 0.04518 193 134 44 15
247 Aaaaand voila! I have just removed the very last frill from air travel!! 1.3833 0.04874 180 128 35 17
248 ...And, as you see, the plane is now floating in the air...' 1.3820 0.05040 178 129 30 19
249 Sorry, the rest of my props were in my luggage. 1.3810 0.04532 168 113 46 9
250 And now, I shall make disappear all the children who have been kicking the backs of seats. 1.3804 0.05090 163 116 32 15
251 Unfortunately, I can’t make that kid sitting behind you disappear. 1.3799 0.04693 179 125 40 14
252 For my next trick, I'll make the barefoot guy in 13C, who just put his feet up on lady in 12D's armrest, disappear via the emergency exit. 1.3793 0.04787 174 122 38 14
253 Yes, disappearing any irritating passenger is apart of your first class service! 1.3793 0.05057 174 126 30 18
254 Watch me make an hour of your life on the tarmac disappear. 1.3793 0.04717 174 121 40 13
255 Now for some flight attendant magic...You may notice my right arm is turned totally backwards 1.3791 0.05408 153 111 26 16
256 As part of a special promotion, available only to passengers on this flight, I'm going to make that kid behind you disappear. 1.3785 0.04992 177 128 31 18
257 Abracadabra, we're on time! 1.3782 0.05010 156 109 35 12
258 Passengers, legroom is simply an illusion. 1.3780 0.05138 164 118 30 16
259 Be prepared! For my next trick, I will levitate the entire audience! 1.3770 0.04992 183 134 29 20
260 …and PRESTO! You’ll think you’re in first class! 1.3766 0.04882 154 106 38 10
261 When I say the magic word, the Captain will awake. 1.3766 0.05053 154 108 34 12
262 And just like that, voila! Your oxygen mask should appear 1.3765 0.04717 162 111 41 10
263 The captain says we need more believers to get this plane off the ground. 1.3763 0.04723 194 140 35 19
264 For a modest fee, I can make your luggage appear at the baggage claim. 1.3758 0.05183 165 120 28 17
265 Watch the wand carefully! When I wave it three times, you will permanently forget that you just spent three hours sitting on the tarmac, for a shifting array of reasons. 1.3757 0.04870 173 123 35 15
266 For my next trick, I will turn the dude in 21D who won't get off his phone into a bag of pretzels. 1.3742 0.05006 163 116 33 14
267 Presto change-o! For an additional fee, of course. 1.3739 0.06109 115 83 21 11
268 And now I'll make the last of your patience disappear. 1.3735 0.05086 166 120 30 16
269 Hey, passengers! Watch me pull an upgrade to business class out of my hat! 1.3733 0.05228 150 107 30 13
270 Due to cost-cutting, your in-flight entertainment will be provided by the flight crew. 1.3729 0.04787 177 126 36 15
271 And for just $200 I can magically put you in first class! 1.3725 0.05398 153 112 25 16
272 Poof. You're in first class and the baby has disappeared. 1.3725 0.05069 153 108 33 12
273 And Presto! Your leg room is gone. 1.3718 0.05162 156 112 30 14
274 No, I can't make a plane disappear, but I'm very good with luggage. 1.3709 0.05284 151 109 28 14
275 …and, in case of emergency, each of you will find a magic carpet under your seat. 1.3701 0.05208 154 111 29 14
276 The magic wand is just for show. There’s actually nothing I can do about the leg room. 1.3690 0.04432 168 114 46 8
277 And for my next trick, I’ll make the child kicking your seat disappear. 1.3687 0.05064 160 115 31 14
278 And, just like that, your carry-on bag fits in the overhead compartment 1.3684 0.05337 152 111 26 15
279 And that's how we land the plane. Magic. 1.3681 0.05284 144 103 29 12
280 ...aaand where has your luggage gone? Why, there it is! In a holdover terminal in Cincinnati! 1.3675 0.04856 166 118 35 13
281 Now watch as I create a new baggage fee. 1.3675 0.04856 166 118 35 13
282 You have entered a world of illusion where we are next in line for takeoff… 1.3672 0.04911 177 129 31 17
283 Everyone was allergic to peanuts and then pretzels and well frankly magic is all we have left to offer. 1.3671 0.04865 158 111 36 11
284 The captain has turned off the no magic sign 1.3667 0.05131 150 107 31 12
285 Abracadabra! Your luggage has disappeared. 1.3663 0.04806 172 123 35 14
286 And our last tomato juice goes to... 1.3662 0.05045 142 99 34 9
287 And now I will make your leg room reappear! 1.3654 0.04820 156 109 37 10
288 Just wait'll you see this baby fly. 1.3653 0.05329 167 126 21 20
289 Abracadabra, you have more leg room! Doesn't that feel better? 1.3642 0.04926 151 106 35 10
290 For my next trick! Turbulence. 1.3631 0.04599 179 127 39 13
291 Even this magic wand will not get you into first class. 1.3623 0.05533 138 101 24 13
292 Under your seat you will find a life vest and the seven of diamonds 1.3623 0.05437 138 100 26 12
293 Sawing the pilot in half might have been a mistake. 1.3617 0.05719 141 106 19 16
294 No reason for panic, folks, but who wants to be turned into a pilot? 1.3613 0.05087 155 112 30 13
295 And for $50 dollars I can turn the child behind you into a martini fountain for the length of the flight. 1.3611 0.05271 144 104 28 12
296 Being a pilot is my day job. 1.3608 0.05097 158 115 29 14
297 I've made three martinis vanish - just like that! 1.3597 0.05499 139 102 24 13
298 And for my next trick, I will remove all your remaining personal space. 1.3590 0.04977 156 112 32 12
299 Sir please, look out your window. Do you see a wing there? 1.3585 0.04828 159 113 35 11
300 For my next trick, I will charge you $10. 1.3581 0.05164 148 107 29 12
301 And, now, I will make extra legroom appear right before your very eyes 1.3577 0.05048 137 96 33 8
302 The captain has turned on the hocus pocus sign.” 1.3576 0.05003 151 108 32 11
303 No, the baggage handler made your suitcase disappear. 1.3571 0.05019 154 111 31 12
304 "Sure, Prest-O, Change-O: filet mignon, legroom galore, and that adorable child no longer kicking your seat." Anything else? 1.3571 0.04646 168 119 38 11
305 Welcome to Spirit Airlines. 1.3566 0.05100 143 102 31 10
306 Do you think we should break it to him that it's actually lift, thrust, drag, and weight that make the plane stay up? 1.3557 0.05309 149 110 25 14
307 And in my right hand, you'll find your leg space. 1.3553 0.05148 152 111 28 13
308 And just like that, we've made your legroom disappear! 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
309 Watch how I make your rights disappear. 1.3540 0.04859 161 116 33 12
310 I will now produce the illusion of leg room. 1.3540 0.04859 161 116 33 12
311 And poof, your luggage is there. 1.3534 0.05463 133 97 25 11
312 Shazam! Your connecting flight is gone! 1.3529 0.05575 136 101 22 13
313 I’ve always preferred a captive audience. 1.3525 0.05292 139 101 27 11
314 To assist the crew during an in-flight emergency, wave the magic wands located beneath your seat. 1.3517 0.05228 145 106 27 12
315 I can't do upgrades. 1.3506 0.04921 154 111 32 11
316 I finally have your attention. 1.3504 0.05138 137 98 30 9
317 Presto delayo, your connections in Dallas have disappeared! 1.3503 0.04770 157 112 35 10
318 For my final trick, I will make your luggage disappear and reappear in Schenectady! 1.3500 0.05260 140 102 27 11
319 Please make sure all seat backs are returned to their upright positions, and all rabbits are returned to their hats. 1.3500 0.05162 140 101 29 10
320 Who knew flying could get any worse 1.3500 0.05546 140 105 21 14
321 Which would you like to see? I can pull a rabbit out of my hat. Or I can make the kid behind you disappear. 1.3487 0.05049 152 111 29 12
322 Watch carefully as I turn this passenger from passive to aggressive! 1.3485 0.05790 132 100 18 14
323 Alacazam, alacazin, your luggage has taken off for Berlin. 1.3481 0.05077 135 96 31 8
324 More legroom? I’m a magician not a miracle worker! 1.3481 0.05394 135 99 25 11
325 In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, close your eyes and tap your heels together three times. 1.3481 0.05291 135 98 27 10
326 Rabbits out of a hat, yes. Luggage arriving at its destination, no. 1.3478 0.04847 161 117 32 12
327 So the captain says, "You're wasting your talent as a mere co-pilot. Share the act with the cabin while I nap. Why have an autopilot if you never use it?" 1.3478 0.05005 161 119 28 14
328 Yes, we eliminated pilots in our budget cuts. This is how we land planes now." 1.3475 0.05325 141 104 25 12
329 For my next trick, I'll make your sense of dignity reappear! 1.3475 0.05131 141 102 29 10
330 And for my next trick, all the babies on board will sleep through the entire flight! 1.3475 0.04826 141 99 35 7
331 And under your seat, for flight emergencies, you will find your Mary Poppins umbrella. 1.3472 0.05515 144 109 20 15
332 You are all hereby "Declassified". 1.3472 0.05151 144 105 28 11
333 After we land you will say that you enjoyed your flight. 1.3462 0.05537 130 96 23 11
334 I thought we already left Vegas! 1.3462 0.05429 130 95 25 10
335 For my next trick, you’ll all have leg room. 1.3459 0.05342 133 97 26 10
336 Watch me make the joy of airline travel completely disappear. 1.3451 0.05386 142 106 23 13
337 No food or drink service on this flight, but you can take your chances with whatever comes out of my hat. 1.3451 0.04901 142 101 33 8
338 For my next trick, I will add 6 more inches to your seat space. 1.3446 0.04569 148 103 39 6
339 Slip me $50 and I'll make the urchin behind you disappear. 1.3446 0.05226 148 110 25 13
340 And now, your economy class entertainment! 1.3442 0.05323 154 117 21 16
341 And now I’ll make your leg space disappear. 1.3442 0.04908 154 112 31 11
342 Don't be alarmed by the pilots in clown suits. We take Halloween very seriously 1.3440 0.05093 125 88 31 6
343 In case of emergency, simply think of a number between 1 and 100. 1.3438 0.05483 128 94 24 10
344 At the count of three you’ll all believe we’ll arrive on time. 1.3435 0.05394 131 96 25 10
345 And your luggage... is GONE. 1.3431 0.05225 137 100 27 10
346 Use this for legroom. 1.3431 0.05225 137 100 27 10
347 For my next trick I will conjure the illusion of legroom. 1.3431 0.05016 137 98 31 8
348 One more, until the Wi-Fi reconnects 1.3429 0.05245 140 103 26 11
349 …and now your luggage is headed to the opposite coast. 1.3425 0.05362 146 110 22 14
350 For my next trick, the flight will experience extreme turbulence as soon as the restroom becomes available. 1.3419 0.05050 155 115 27 13
351 Now watch as I make the man in 10E put his shoes back on 1.3415 0.05636 123 91 22 10
352 And now we're levitating. 1.3413 0.05305 126 91 27 8
353 And for my next trick, I will hypnotize the kid in the second aisle 1.3413 0.05184 126 90 29 7
354 I only know how to make your luggage disappear. 1.3413 0.05060 126 89 31 6
355 And for my next trick, I will send your luggage to Siberia. 1.3413 0.05539 126 93 23 10
356 Okey, can I get a second volunteer? 1.3413 0.05423 126 92 25 9
357 For my first trick, I will magically get this flight out of Newark to land " On Time" 1.3411 0.05103 129 92 30 7
358 All these years I didn’t believe in the Upgrade Fairy. 1.3406 0.04878 138 98 33 7
359 Close your eyes, Seat 32D... when I count to "3" your luggage will magically reappear in Topeka, Kansas on Friday. 1.3404 0.04703 141 99 36 6
360 Pick the time delay--any time delay.... 1.3404 0.04914 141 101 32 8
361 Abracadabra your luggage is in Milwaukee 1.3404 0.05214 141 104 26 11
362 You're getting sleepy and you love five hour delays, sleepy... 1.3404 0.05016 141 102 30 9
363 And now to change that baby doll back into a full grown passenger... 1.3401 0.04969 147 107 30 10
364 In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, you will magically realize why you should have listened to the safety demonstration. 1.3388 0.05190 121 86 29 6
365 Abracadabra, your flight is not cancelled or delayed! 1.3385 0.05186 130 94 28 8
366 For my next trick we will land on time. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
367 Voila. Your 36 inch legs now fit in a 22 inch space. 1.3379 0.05012 145 106 29 10
368 In your checked luggage, you'll find the card you were thinking of. 1.3377 0.05148 154 116 24 14
369 Magic! we will arrive on time 1.3377 0.05065 154 115 26 13
370 Now, does everyone remember what we drew on the engine before it disappeared 1.3362 0.05865 116 87 19 10
371 - No, sky marshal is my part-time job... 1.3361 0.05240 119 85 28 6
372 With the wave of my wand you’ll all think you’re in first class. 1.3361 0.05535 122 90 23 9
373 First, the legroom, and now the snacks are gone! 1.3361 0.06004 122 94 15 13
374 magic in the air 1.3360 0.05673 125 94 20 11
375 And now, will you please place your tray table in the upright and locked position, and look in the seat pocket in front of you and tell me if that’s your card. 1.3359 0.05465 128 95 23 10
376 Did he just say it's going to take real magic to get our luggage back? 1.3359 0.05465 128 95 23 10
377 Abracadabra. The captain shall reappear. Huh. That's not it either. 1.3359 0.05116 128 92 29 7
378 For my final trick I will have the child behind you refrain from kicking your seat for the duration of the flight 1.3358 0.05499 134 101 21 12
379 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain busking. 1.3356 0.04913 149 109 30 10
380 Now, keep your eyes glued to my magic wand, not the starboard engine. 1.3355 0.05108 152 114 25 13
381 And voilà, Your baggage is on this plane . It’s magic! 1.3352 0.04809 176 133 27 16
382 ...and for an additional 11 dollars per person I'll move along to aisle 24. 1.3333 0.05043 135 98 29 8
383 For my next trick, I will disappear for the rest of the flight. 1.3333 0.05120 123 88 29 6
384 For my next trick I'll need a volunteer interested in earning three-thousand unlimited bonus points. 1.3333 0.05694 117 87 21 9
385 For my next trick, I’ll need a volunteer from the audience to bring me their carry-on…. 1.3333 0.05278 138 103 24 11
386 Count your blessings. Flight 402 got the mariachi band. 1.3333 0.05151 135 99 27 9
387 I could pull extra legroom out of my hat, but it’ll cost you. 1.3333 0.05201 129 94 27 8
388 In the unlikely event of an on-time arrival, balloons will drop from the overhead compartments. 1.3333 0.05164 126 91 28 7
389 And now for a little levitation. 1.3333 0.05389 141 107 21 13
390 Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! 1.3333 0.05006 132 95 30 7
391 For my next trick I'll sit down so we can depart on time. 1.3333 0.05248 123 89 27 7
392 For my next trick, this plane will arrive on time. 1.3333 0.05164 126 91 28 7
393 A magic wand? No, silly. But give us any trouble and feel the magic behind my new taser. 1.3333 0.05043 135 98 29 8
394 Watch— as I make your comfort disappear. 1.3333 0.05285 126 92 26 8
395 We should have seen this coming. What kind of airport has a Gate 9 3/4s! 1.3310 0.04996 145 107 28 10
396 I make the plane levitate. 1.3307 0.05483 127 95 22 10
397 And that is how we get the plane to fly. 1.3306 0.05337 124 91 25 8
398 And with this wand, I will make this train fly. 1.3306 0.05337 124 91 25 8
399 Abracadabra! Our flight is not canceled! 1.3306 0.05553 121 90 22 9
400 And for my next trick, I'm going to wave my magic wand and make this 80,000 kg airplane FLY! 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
401 For my next trick, I’ll make your legroom reappear. 1.3287 0.04839 143 104 31 8
402 To start the flow of oxygen, reach up and pull the rabbit toward you, fully extending its ears. 1.3284 0.05273 134 100 24 10
403 I have just magically added one millimeter of knee room to your seat. 1.3284 0.04943 134 97 30 7
404 Be thankful. The entertainment on the next flight is mimes. 1.3284 0.04943 134 97 30 7
405 Welcome aboard Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. For this next trick... 1.3282 0.05358 131 98 23 10
406 Welcome on board! I'm your captain, cabin crew and entertainment on demand... 1.3282 0.05247 131 97 25 9
407 And just like that, 90 tons of metal, carbon fiber, plastic and highly explosive jet fuel is floating six and a half miles above the earth. 1.3281 0.04974 128 92 30 6
408 We want you to enjoy the days you’ll be aboard. 1.3280 0.05051 125 90 29 6
409 I’m a First Class act. 1.3279 0.05263 122 89 26 7
410 And now I'll make the pilots disappear! 1.3279 0.05636 122 92 20 10
411 Remember to pull the rabbit out of your own hat first before assisting others. 1.3279 0.05636 122 92 20 10
412 Ta-Da! Your checked bags have vanished 1.3276 0.05581 116 86 22 8
413 See the rabbit in the overhead compartment. 1.3273 0.05184 110 78 28 4
414 And now I will levitate this whole plane and everyone in it. 1.3262 0.05467 141 109 18 14
415 And for my next trick, I'll narrow your seat even more 1.3261 0.05261 138 104 23 11
416 And we will arrive 20 minutes early! 1.3256 0.05521 129 98 20 11
417 Hello folks, I'm the Amazng Alex, and for your inflight entertainment today, I'm going to transform the first class seats into middle coach seats for your amusement. 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
418 And what’s this behind your ear? Oh! A tiny bag of pretzels! 1.3256 0.05410 129 97 22 10
419 Watch how I magically make your legroom disappear. 1.3252 0.05227 123 90 26 7
420 ... and, it doubles as a taser for unruly passengers! 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
421 And now, I will make the wings reappear. 1.3231 0.05374 130 98 22 10
422 I'm here to provide you with a selection of illusions of safety. 1.3231 0.05030 130 95 28 7
423 For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer to take a later flight. 1.3231 0.05591 130 100 18 12
424 In case there is a loss of cabin pressure, the captain will summon me to perform my magic. 1.3228 0.05109 127 93 27 7
425 Next, I'll show you how reclining your seat will transform into a fist fight and an action-packed video on Twitter. 1.3228 0.05463 127 96 21 10
426 I just turned your seat into a flotation device. 1.3220 0.05230 118 86 26 6
427 And with a swish and a flick, I'll make your checked bags disappear! 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
428 They turned me into the pilot since we're short staffed. 1.3211 0.06235 109 85 13 11
429 I will now read your future. This plane will sit on the tarmac for 45 minutes and you’ll miss your connecting flight. 1.3209 0.05360 134 102 21 11
430 For my next trick, the crying baby in 6A will fall into a peaceful slumber. 1.3206 0.04757 131 94 32 5
431 And now I will make your trip to Chicago disappear. Welcome to Tulsa. 1.3203 0.05195 128 95 25 8
432 Now to make your roller bags reappear... at baggage claim 1.3203 0.05195 128 95 25 8
433 ‘’Watch as free drinks and snacks disappear!” 1.3200 0.05156 125 92 26 7
434 If you liked that trick,just wait till you see what we did with your luggage 1.3197 0.05851 122 95 15 12
435 I can make new fees appear out of nowhere! 1.3197 0.05492 122 92 21 9
436 For my next trick, I'll make leg room disappear. 1.3197 0.05240 122 90 25 7
437 And voila! That child has stopped kicking your seat! 1.3197 0.05368 122 91 23 8
438 For my next trick, I will hypnotize you into believing you have enough leg room. 1.3193 0.05715 119 91 18 10
439 Now I’ll make your leg room magically reappear. 1.3191 0.05065 141 106 25 10
440 And for my next trick, I will fit a bag in the overhead ... first try! 1.3191 0.04861 141 104 29 8
441 I will now get many members of this audience to purchase a terrible can of light beer for over 8 dollars! 1.3191 0.05450 141 110 17 14
442 Now, I know magic isn't everyone's thing, but our flight's been delayed for thirty minutes, and I'm not missing this opportunity of a full house. 1.3191 0.04964 141 105 27 9
443 Ladies and Gentlemen, we are currently 79th in line for takeoff. While we’re waiting….. 1.3190 0.05557 116 87 21 8
444 You are now getting very sleepy, and you'll stay asleep and not bother me until we get to our destination. 1.3188 0.05037 138 103 26 9
445 1st Class gets live Broadway shows, an entire French restaurant, and Botox on demand --- but this is nice, right? 1.3188 0.04723 160 120 29 11
446 And now watch me pull a dollar out of your wallet 1.3186 0.05797 113 86 18 9
447 In case of emergency your oxygen masks will magically appear. 1.3185 0.04893 135 99 29 7
448 Voila! The glamour of air travel is back. 1.3182 0.05469 110 81 23 6
449 I am the Flight Attendant's Apprentice! 1.3179 0.05093 151 116 22 13
450 And now you’ll find that you have no leg room! 1.3178 0.05042 129 95 27 7
451 And now, for just a $28 convenience fee, I can make your carry-on bags reappear! 1.3178 0.05276 129 97 23 9
452 I can magically put you in a zen state so you don’t have to be arrested on arrival. 1.3178 0.05410 107 78 24 5
453 In accordance with airline policy,I will make your legroom disappear. 1.3175 0.05817 126 99 14 13
454 More leg room? No. But I can make your seat tip back two more inches. 1.3171 0.05575 123 94 19 10
455 With just a wave of my wand, your overstuffed carry-on fits in the luggage compartment. 1.3171 0.05454 123 93 21 9
456 And for my next trick, I'll make your leg room disappear. 1.3162 0.05381 117 87 23 7
457 There's a new $20 show cessation fee. 1.3162 0.05903 117 91 15 11
458 Before I perform my next trick, do we have any doctors on board? 1.3162 0.04953 117 84 29 4
459 And for our next trick, on time departure! 1.3158 0.05476 114 85 22 7
460 Now close your eyes and levitate!" 1.3158 0.05048 133 99 26 8
461 And for my next trick, I'll make customer service disappear. 1.3154 0.04888 130 95 29 6
462 More leg-room? Close your eyes, think it, you got it. 1.3154 0.05354 130 99 21 10
463 Upgrade anyone ? 1.3153 0.05274 111 81 25 5
464 For the first time ever, you will depart and arrive on time 1.3150 0.05208 127 95 24 8
465 I'm just the in-flight magician in case someone runs out of tranquilizers or realizes they're in a bad marriage on the way to the Caribbean to renew their vows, not to get too specific. 1.3150 0.05208 127 95 24 8
466 This is the captain speaking… 1.3148 0.05527 108 80 22 6
467 Tada ! The coffee is good now 1.3148 0.05978 108 83 16 9
468 If you are seated in an exit row, please read carefully the special instructions card located behind your ear. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
469 I will now make food appear! 1.3145 0.05535 124 95 19 10
470 Notice that at no time do the wings leave the plane. 1.3143 0.05466 105 77 23 5
471 Budget cuts are having a particularly devastating affect on the inflight entertainment 1.3143 0.04871 140 104 28 8
472 More leg room? Let me saw you in half. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
473 In the event of a water landing, the quarter behind your ear can be used as a flotation device. 1.3136 0.05476 118 89 21 8
474 And now watch me shrink the size of your leg room. 1.3136 0.05064 118 86 27 5
475 Your wish is granted, the child will be stowed in the overhead 1.3130 0.05841 115 89 16 10
476 I can do anything but pull five more inches of leg space out of my hat. 1.3130 0.05147 115 84 26 5
477 Your two hour delay will fly by 1.3130 0.05435 115 86 22 7
478 For my next death-defying trick, I’ll put on someone else’s mask before my own. 1.3130 0.04734 131 95 31 5
479 With my next trick I’ll make the last of the legroom disappear! 1.3130 0.05093 131 98 25 8
480 I'd better get back to the cockpit. My co-pilot is a newbie. 1.3125 0.05629 128 100 16 12
481 And for my final trick, I'll need a volunteer to get bumped from this flight. 1.3120 0.04740 125 90 31 4
482 What shall miraculously appear is a half-can your favorite drink, and a small bag of trail mix. 1.3120 0.04740 125 90 31 4
483 and now I will attempt to fly 1.3119 0.05636 109 82 20 7
484 our in-flight entertainment budget has been cut, so without further ado…… 1.3116 0.05325 138 107 19 12
485 …and your luggage is now gone! 1.3115 0.05085 122 90 26 6
486 For my next trick, I require someone with no fear of heights and non-slip shoes 1.3115 0.05712 122 95 16 11
487 Surprise!!! Your destination has been changed to Mauna Loa 1.3113 0.05586 106 79 21 6
488 Coffee, Tea or Rabbit Stew? 1.3113 0.05080 106 76 27 3
489 Ear pop, anyone?” 1.3113 0.05423 106 78 23 5
490 If we distract passengers in flight, they don't notice we took away two more inches of leg room. 1.3109 0.05167 119 88 25 6
491 While I cannot give you more legroom, I can shorten your legs to make you fit. Any takers? 1.3109 0.05566 119 91 19 9
492 And if you don't put your tray tables up and your seats back in the full upright position, I will make your luggage disappear. 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
493 Why, if a Comedian can be a President, I can be your Pilot! 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
494 And POOF! You get an up charge! You get an up charge! You get an up charge! 1.3107 0.06175 103 80 14 9
495 That's why we're called "Out of Thin Air." 1.3103 0.04961 116 84 28 4
496 With a wave of my wand you will imagine having the best in-flight dining experience! 1.3103 0.05254 116 86 24 6
497 If you say the magic word before leaving JFK, you’ll land at LAX with three more hours in the day. 1.3103 0.05040 145 111 23 11
498 Unknown to reporters, disappearing wasn't the only trick D.B.Cooper performed that day. 1.3103 0.05110 116 85 26 5
499 Watch as I make your faith in the airline industry disappear! 1.3103 0.05532 116 88 20 8
500 For my next trick I will saw someone from coach in half. 1.3103 0.06050 116 92 12 12
501 All together now...A hundred bottles of beer on the wall... 1.3097 0.05491 113 85 21 7
502 I thought airlines got rid of the nuts. 1.3097 0.05633 113 86 19 8
503 And now, I will make your legroom disappear! 1.3091 0.05739 110 84 18 8
504 And just like that, anybody who doesn't follow instructions will be turned into a toad. 1.3091 0.04959 110 79 28 3
505 As you will soon find out, the Bermuda Triangle really is magic. 1.3089 0.05307 123 93 22 8
506 I’m sorry sir, but I cannot make the toddler disappear. 1.3084 0.05999 107 83 15 9
507 In case of an emergency, click your heels three times…. 1.3083 0.05650 120 93 17 10
508 Pick an emergency exit. Any emergency exit. 1.3083 0.05525 120 92 19 9
509 Mechanical issues. No problem! 1.3077 0.05491 117 89 20 8
510 Read the fine print - I'm the penalty for not upgrading 1.3077 0.05753 117 91 16 10
511 And now for my next trick, I will make your onboard meal delicious. 1.3077 0.04613 130 94 32 4
512 …and whoopty — your leg space is gone! 1.3077 0.05552 130 102 16 12
513 Yes it is magic. Your friendly, and helpful flight attendant will serve you a hot, tasty meal with complementary wine or cocktails. The people in first class will have a choice of stale pretzels or stale peanuts. Thank you for flying on Magic Air. 1.3070 0.05449 114 86 21 7
514 Pilot was my second choice 1.3070 0.04846 114 82 29 3
515 Poof! The illusion of legroom! 1.3070 0.05727 114 88 17 9
516 No worries about the pilot shortage. It's a magical mystery flight. 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
517 I will now make the backbones of the parents whose child is kicking the back of your seat magically reappear! 1.3069 0.06092 101 78 15 8
518 Anyone still needs to fit something into the overhead bin? 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
519 And for our last trick today in 'Basic Restricted Economy,' we'll remove whatever's left of your human dignity. 1.3065 0.05513 124 96 18 10
520 Watch me pull a rabbit out of the overhead bin. 1.3063 0.05694 111 85 18 8
521 Our scheduled departure time is just an illusion 1.3063 0.05694 111 85 18 8
522 And my final trick will be to land on time. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
523 If that child in 2E becomes a problem, I will happily make her disappear. 1.3056 0.05803 108 83 17 8
524 Alrighty, let’s see if we can get this baby off the ground. 1.3056 0.05652 108 82 19 7
525 And now let's make a pilot appear 1.3056 0.05172 108 79 25 4
526 During the pilot shortage we are helping 1.3047 0.05029 128 96 25 7
527 And as we land here in Denver, your bags will be in...Barcelona! 1.3043 0.05946 115 91 13 11
528 And for our last trick before take off, we will make all your luggage disappear! 1.3043 0.05119 115 85 25 5
529 Remember to unfasten your seat belts prior to the standing ovation.” 1.3043 0.05408 115 87 21 7
530 And for my next trick, I’m going to delay our departure for another hour 1.3039 0.05877 102 78 17 7
531 We call it the Cinderella Experience. You're family is now in coach. 1.3038 0.07059 79 62 10 7
532 Hi folks, I just wanted to introduce myself, your baggage handler. 1.3037 0.05073 135 103 23 9
533 And now, to distract you from the pilot strike. 1.3036 0.05649 112 86 18 8
534 And when you wake up, you'll be in Milwaukee! 1.3033 0.05320 122 93 21 8
535 Coach gets the mime. 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
536 In the event of cabin pressure loss, oxygen masks will magically appear 1.3028 0.05902 109 85 15 9
537 No, I'm a magician on board. And you're now a pilot. 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
538 I’ve just been sent to make sure everyone is equally annoyed this flight. 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
539 Poof! You won't feel the kid behind you kicking your seat or hear her screaming the whole way there!! 1.3028 0.05607 109 83 19 7
540 Even our magician can't make you believe your seats are bigger, there's going to be food or that we'll be on time. 1.3025 0.05411 119 91 20 8
541 I did it to your free meals and your leg room, so don't make me use this thing on what little dignity you have left! 1.3025 0.05541 119 92 18 9
542 And presto, your extra legroom has disappeared, but it can be restored for an additional fee. 1.3023 0.05459 129 101 17 11
543 Say the magic word - or I'll send your luggage to Boise! 1.3019 0.05390 106 79 22 5
544 'And for my next trick, I will make you all comfortable with plenty of leg room, overhead luggage locker space and arrival at the advertised time.' 1.3017 0.05506 116 89 19 8
545 You can ask me for anything but more legroom. 1.3015 0.05040 136 104 23 9
546 Okay - who’s feeling grumpy today? 1.3010 0.05661 103 78 19 6
547 There is an additional fee of $35 per passenger for me to stop doing magic tricks on this flight. Otherwise, make sure your seat belts are buckled low & tight across your waist, and your tray table is in its upright and locked position and we are ready to depart. 1.3010 0.05827 103 79 17 7
548 I promise you, if the child behind you kicks the seat again, I will make it disappear. 1.3009 0.05463 113 86 20 7
549 I only do levitation tricks. 1.3009 0.05606 113 87 18 8
550 And for my next trick... a three-hour delay! 1.3009 0.05463 113 86 20 7
551 And now, with a wave of my wand, you will have landed, happy and in good spirits. 1.3009 0.05606 113 87 18 8
552 Welcome aboard, ladies and gentlemen. I'm the Pied Piper, and I'll be your flight attendant till the captain finds out. 1.3008 0.05407 123 95 19 9
553 ...and now for my final trick: the biggest levitation act you ever saw! 1.3008 0.05407 123 95 19 9
554 And now for my next trick, I will make the complimentary snacks and beverages for purchase only! 1.3008 0.04889 133 100 26 7
555 When I count to three you will all have six more inches of leg room. 1.3000 0.05500 120 93 18 9
556 For my next trick, I’ll make your checked luggage disappear! 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
557 Pick a landing site; any landing site 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
558 And for my final trick, I'll make your leg room disappear. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
559 And for my next trick...LEGROOM! 1.3000 0.06133 110 88 11 11
560 This magic reduces yiur legroom by 50% without you noticing. 1.3000 0.05104 120 90 24 6
561 Presto chango…your luggage has disappeared! 1.2992 0.04784 127 94 28 5
562 And now,for an absolutely magical landing !!! 1.2991 0.05044 117 87 25 5
563 Want me to make that child behind you go away? 1.2991 0.05328 117 89 21 7
564 And now watch me pull an emotional support animal out of my hat. 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
565 Hello, I'm Kyle and I'm here to make sure all of you have a truly magical flight to Kenosha, Wisconsin. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
566 And for next trick.. turbulence. Tada! 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
567 And in the unlikely event of a water landing, I will part the seas. 1.2984 0.05489 124 97 17 10
568 For my next trick, I will make your baggage disappear upon landing, 1.2982 0.05276 114 86 22 6
569 There you go! Middle seat gone. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
570 Ta Da !!! You two have been upgraded to first class !! 1.2975 0.05202 121 92 22 7
571 ...and for my next trick, I will make three more inches of your leg room disappear! 1.2973 0.05665 111 86 17 8
572 As long as I keep waving this wand, it won't matter that both of the plane's engines have failed. 1.2973 0.05519 111 85 19 7
573 Now for the safety measures the first-class passengers get 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
574 The in-flight meal choices are dove or rabbit. 1.2973 0.05665 111 86 17 8
575 Drizzle drazzle druzzle drone may your luggage find your home. 1.2973 0.05947 111 88 13 10
576 For my next trick, I will make that screaming baby disappear. 1.2970 0.05724 101 77 18 6
577 Presto chango - you now believe you have legroom 1.2969 0.05245 128 99 20 9
578 For my next trick I will cause the captain to begin announcements as soon as you fall asleep. 1.2969 0.05005 128 97 24 7
579 And for my next trick, I’ll fit your carry-on bag into this overhead compartment! 1.2966 0.05150 118 89 23 6
580 And for my next trick, the airline will make your luggage disappear! 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
581 Now watch how I magically make your attention disappear while I go over safety instructions. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
582 Todays inflight service will be rabbit. 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
583 Watch very closely now and you will see the impossible . . . a smooth landing on time followed by all your luggage on a carousel within ten minutes! 1.2959 0.05840 98 75 17 6
584 Poof! A three hour delay. 1.2959 0.06017 98 76 15 7
585 But first, before we bring out the ukulelles. 1.2959 0.06017 98 76 15 7
586 Due to staffing issues, I’ll be serving as both your pilot and inflight entertainment. 1.2957 0.05236 115 87 22 6
587 And for my next trick, I will make your legroom disappear. 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
588 My rabbit was confiscated by the TSA. 1.2952 0.05887 105 82 15 8
589 Say the magic words and I''ll land this plane 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
590 Where's our free ukuleles? 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
591 ... and as you can see, the baby has magically shut up for the first time in the last 4hrs! 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
592 First, I want to apologize for making the pilot and co-pilot disappear. 1.2946 0.05621 112 87 17 8
593 Being on time? Now that would be real magic. 1.2946 0.05900 112 89 13 10
594 My true passion is magic; but don't worry, my co-pilot is very good. 1.2941 0.05642 119 94 15 10
595 We are out of peanuts, will you settle for a rabbit? 1.2941 0.05113 119 90 23 6
596 "I will now make this flight more enjoyable by making myself disappear." 1.2941 0.05322 102 76 22 4
597 I'm not just any fly-by-night magician. 1.2941 0.05675 102 78 18 6
598 I am the captain‘s nephew Jerome! Please feel free to post this on social media! #MagicInTheSkies 1.2941 0.05501 102 77 20 5
599 This flight is canceled, but I have an awesome magic show for you. 1.2941 0.06007 102 80 14 8
600 We added in-flight entertainment. 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
601 I will now levitate you to 30,000 feet above the ground. 1.2936 0.05576 109 84 18 7
602 They send me on every Boeing 737 Max flight, just in case... 1.2929 0.05420 99 74 21 4
603 And for my next trick, I've changed your arrival time from 5pm to 11pm! 1.2929 0.05607 99 75 19 5
604 Unfortunately, my last trick made your checked baggage disappear... 1.2927 0.05128 123 94 22 7
605 And when I snap my fingers, you’ll all behave nicely for the entire flight. 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
606 Items in the overhead bin will not shift,the child behind you will be silent,and all the food will be stunningly delicious. 1.2925 0.05682 106 82 17 7
607 And now, a few tricks to help pass the six hours on the runway! 1.2925 0.05522 106 81 19 6
608 And.... Presto! You don't have a crying baby kicking your seat for 3 hours 1.2925 0.05682 106 82 17 7
609 And now I’ll try to conjure up a good meal. 1.2923 0.04938 130 99 24 7
610 For my next trick, would you like me to pull peanuts or pretzels from my hat? 1.2920 0.05134 113 85 23 5
611 Now watch while I make your legroom disappear. 1.2920 0.05286 113 86 21 6
612 Now for my next trick, I'll place six mini pretzels in a bag and make you think it's a snack! 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
613 Three inches of legroom will now magically disappear. 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
614 Watch as I make your in-flight meal disappear! 1.2917 0.05322 96 71 22 3
615 And for my next trick I will saw all of you in half, due to this flight being overbooked! 🎩 ✈️ 🪄 1.2917 0.05908 96 74 16 6
616 Observe, while I sanitize the cabin air with my magic wand! 1.2913 0.05374 127 100 17 10
617 Pick a runway. Any runway. 1.2913 0.05278 103 77 22 4
618 Now that we've passed through 10,000 feet, we'd like to begin our in-flight entertainment. 1.2910 0.05171 134 105 19 10
619 Life is an illusion and I am your pilot. 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
620 Yes, getting 90 tons of metal flying is a neat trick. 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
621 And just like that, the service cart has disappeared for the remainder of the flight! 1.2909 0.05681 110 86 16 8
622 Presto! No middle seat! 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
623 And for my next trick, we will arrive on schedule. 1.2909 0.04892 110 81 26 3
624 Abracadabra! All persons in the middle seats have disappeared. 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
625 For my next trick, I will land the plane 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
626 Unfortunately giving you more leg room is beyond my abilities. 1.2909 0.05681 110 86 16 8
627 And now the last two hours on the ground will magically disappear. 1.2906 0.05300 117 90 20 7
628 It helps you find your luggage 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
629 Our inflight snacks are magically delicious. 1.2903 0.05423 93 69 21 3
630 Everyone in first class gets one wish 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
631 Now look down to find your leg room has completely disappeared! 1.2903 0.05465 124 98 16 10
632 .... a little entertainment .. its only about a 12 hour delay 1.2900 0.05374 100 75 21 4
633 Delta told me to use the autopilot. I gotta fill the time somehow! 1.2897 0.06230 107 87 9 11
634 There is no magic in business class. 1.2897 0.05790 107 84 15 8
635 We don't call this Spirit Airline for nothing. 1.2897 0.05477 107 82 19 6
636 OK, I bet I can tell you where we are landing, does anyone want to make a guess" 1.2897 0.05145 107 80 23 4
637 Ta-da! Your carry-on now fits in the overhead bin. 1.2895 0.05246 114 87 21 6
638 For my next trick we will take off on time. 1.2887 0.05276 97 72 22 3
639 Illusions? Why yes! Like magic: extra seatroom 1.2887 0.05855 97 75 16 6
640 lets all sing the flight delay song 1.2885 0.06213 104 84 10 10
641 For my next trick, I will make your leg space disappear! 1.2883 0.05635 111 87 16 8
642 I can grant any wish—except get you into first class. 1.2883 0.05488 111 86 18 7
643 How else do you think this shit works? 1.2883 0.05020 111 83 24 4
644 And now, I will make your wi-fi disappear before your very eyes. 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
645 In lieu of food, drink, and comfort, we now offer live entertainment! 1.2874 0.05400 87 64 21 2
646 This is why I fly First Class. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
647 We'll be taking off just as soon as I can find my keys." 1.2872 0.05583 94 71 19 4
648 My best trick is landing this plane! 1.2872 0.05784 94 72 17 5
649 For my next trick --- peanuts! 1.2872 0.05784 94 72 17 5
650 There’s magic in the air 1.2871 0.06026 101 80 13 8
651 Lose the wand, lose the hat, get the drink cart. 1.2871 0.05859 101 79 15 7
652 Voila, your luggage is magically elsewhere. 1.2871 0.05328 101 76 21 4
653 For my biggest and most daring illusion yet, I will disappear for the remainder of this spirit airlines flight! 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
654 Now I will make your luggage disappear! 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
655 And just like that……your flight will be delayed by five hours. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
656 Now watch me make your luggage disappear when you disembark. 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
657 Your baggage will magically reappear three hours after you land! 1.2870 0.05350 115 89 19 7
658 In lieu of in-flight video, please enjoy my one-man interpretation of 'Harry Potter and the Cursed Child' ... 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
659 Watch, as I turn 1 hour on the tarmac into 3! 1.2857 0.05141 112 85 22 5
660 So much for that crying baby. 1.2857 0.05222 119 92 20 7
661 Welcome to Southwest, The Musical. 1.2857 0.04818 112 83 26 3
662 And presto! We depart on time! 1.2857 0.05802 98 76 16 6
663 There now,you don’t feel leg cramps at all, do you? 1.2857 0.05295 112 86 20 6
664 See how my fingers never serve alcohol in economy class. 1.2857 0.05591 112 88 16 8
665 And now, for a small service charge, I will make your luggage reappear. 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
666 I need one lucky volunteer to assist the pilot in landing the plane. 1.2857 0.05696 105 82 16 7
667 For my next trick, the plane will levitate 30,000 feet once we’re cleared for takeoff. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
668 Surprise! Detroit's not worth your time, but you'll love Dublin. 1.2857 0.05802 98 76 16 6
669 This magic wand will transport you to a time when we cared 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
670 For my next trick we’ll arrive on time. 1.2845 0.05020 116 88 23 5
671 And for my next track I will prevent this airplane from taking off for another two hours. 1.2844 0.04716 109 80 27 2
672 Now watch the middle armrest disappear! 1.2844 0.05389 109 84 19 6
673 With autopilot, I'm free to entertain about the cabin. 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
674 You will fall asleep for the next 3 hours and arrive at your destination rested and relaxed. Just kidding. 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
675 And, voila — YOU are free to move about the cabin. 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
676 At a wave of my magic wand, you will all have to use the rest room immediately. 1.2843 0.05096 102 76 23 3
677 By waving this magic wand, I can actually get you to watch me as I demonstrate how to buckle a seat belt and wear an oxygen mask. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
678 You can ask for anything but leg room 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
679 If you were a real magician we would have already taken off. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
680 And for basic economy, please enjoy our in-flight mime. 1.2833 0.05183 120 93 20 7
681 For my next trick I will saw your leg room in half! 1.2832 0.05547 113 89 16 8
682 And for the in-flight meal, the choices are pasta or rabbit! 1.2832 0.05102 113 86 22 5
683 Don't worry, the planes on auto pilot. 1.2830 0.05487 106 82 18 6
684 Now close your eyes for two hours, then look out the window again! 1.2830 0.05487 106 82 18 6
685 Watch as your patience with everyone around you slowly disappears. 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
686 I can change your pretzels to a full course meal.” 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
687 Would you like me to make the pilot reappear? 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
688 I'm your pilot and this is my control stick. 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
689 Heckle me again and I can turn you into a 3-year-old too. 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
690 For my next trick, we’re going to make all your luggage disappear 1.2828 0.05185 99 74 22 3
691 So, would you believe that I can now open the bin and your items will be exactly as you stored them? 1.2828 0.05380 99 75 20 4
692 Next stop, childlike wonderment and joy. 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
693 Just close your eyes, tap your heels three times and say I wish I was already home, I wish I was already home, i wish I was already home. 1.2821 0.05543 117 93 15 9
694 For my next trick, this flight will depart on time. 1.2821 0.05408 117 92 17 8
695 For the right price, I can create more leg room out of thin air. 1.2821 0.05408 117 92 17 8
696 For my next trick, all the infants will disappear. 1.2821 0.05128 117 90 21 6
697 Abracadabra, you will all be silent and courteous passengers for the remainder of the flight. 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
698 Now I need a volunteer for the disappearing luggage trick. 1.2818 0.05500 110 86 17 7
699 Just put your seat back and relax for a spell. 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
700 Complimentary in-flight entertainment 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
701 And for our next trick, you'll notice that two of our engines have disappeared. 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
702 Shazamm! You’re in first class 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
703 And voila! You now have half an inch of additional leg room! 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
704 Oh, I'll get back to flying the plane in a minute, but first a little entertainment. 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
705 Airbracadabra - we’ll be on time if you believe it 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
706 And when we land, all the luggage you were required to gate check will have appeared in the overhead compartments 1.2812 0.05482 96 73 19 4
707 For my next trick I need a volunteer who has no fear of heights. 1.2812 0.06052 96 76 13 7
708 This isn't the safety speech. 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
709 Magic wand for purchase? 1.2812 0.05482 96 73 19 4
710 At least one passenger's luggage will disappear, but I won't say who. 1.2810 0.05278 121 95 18 8
711 . . . and POOF, just like that, you'll be served real food on real dishware. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
712 And like magic, you have 2 more inches of leg room. 1.2809 0.05051 89 65 23 1
713 And now dinner service! Do you prefer rabbit or dove? 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
714 Prepare to be amazed, in the exceedingly unlikely event that your luggage appears at the carousel! 1.2809 0.06187 89 70 13 6
715 As if by magic, your bags were sent hither and yon to crowded yet remote locations that will appear some future day on your mobile app if properly updated. Remember, we thanked you, not your luggage, for flying with us. 1.2807 0.05779 114 92 12 10
716 The meal choices are rabbit or pigeon 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
717 When I snap my fingers you will awaken and only remember that it was a great flight! 1.2804 0.05442 107 83 18 6
718 In lieu of in-flight service, one lucky passenger may pull a snack from my hat. 1.2804 0.05757 107 85 14 8
719 And now for our greatest illusion: competence. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
720 And, presto! Your luggage has disappeared. 1.2800 0.04940 100 74 24 2
721 For my next trick, ‘Serving snacks on-board that you’ll actually enjoy!’ 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
722 Sit back, relax and enjoy the illusion of great service. 1.2800 0.06044 100 80 12 8
723 …and as we descend at an alarming speed, I will now magically transform your seat cushion into a floatation device. 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
724 Watch as I pull a two hour delay out of nowhere! 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
725 For my next trick, I will be transporting all of you to Mar-A-Lago’s Shred Fest 2022! 1.2796 0.06552 93 76 8 9
726 As the captain said, you must obey my every command 1.2796 0.06185 93 74 12 7
727 Poof! If you check your carry-ons, you'll find that the contraband items you smuggled past Security have disappeared." 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
728 And now, for the remainder of the flight, I shall disappear. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
729 and for my next trick I’ll make your carry-on fit in the overhead bin 1.2793 0.05147 111 85 21 5
730 Welcome passengers of flight 206 to Las Vegas and thanks to the magic of aviation. I welcome you to Cleveland. 1.2793 0.05147 111 85 21 5
731 The clown is in the cockpit. 1.2793 0.05456 111 87 17 7
732 For my next act I'll make your checked luggage. disappear. 1.2788 0.05709 104 82 15 7
733 And for my next trick, I'm going to make you think you had dinner! 1.2788 0.05543 104 81 17 6
734 For my next trick, I'm going to make your seats even smaller. 1.2788 0.05709 104 82 15 7
735 I could never have done this before autopilot! 1.2788 0.05870 104 83 13 8
736 And POOF ! Your luggage will reappear 1.2788 0.05709 104 82 15 7
737 I will now make your luggage disappear. Oh...too late! 1.2787 0.05492 122 98 14 10
738 And now, watch me pull a pilot out of my hat. 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
739 Bet you wish you read the fine print on the in-flight entertainment now! 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
740 Unfortunately, the clown is the one flying the plane 1.2784 0.05815 97 76 15 6
741 Food; legroom; what else can I make disappear? 1.2784 0.06173 97 78 11 8
742 And poof! We lost your luggage! 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
743 And for my next trick, I'll make the pilot reappear. 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
744 At the count of 3, items in the overhead bin will no longer shift. 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
745 Presto, Chango... the items in the overhead bin have shifted during the flight! 1.2784 0.05815 97 76 15 6
746 And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how I fly the plane. 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
747 And now what’s left of your leg-room will disappear! 1.2784 0.05815 97 76 15 6
748 This is one time nobody will sneak out before I finish my act. 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
749 As your pilot and amateur magician, I’m going to levitate this 220 ton vehicle. 1.2783 0.05024 115 88 22 5
750 First class has Beyoncé. 1.2778 0.06126 90 71 13 6
751 See? I’m using magic to convince you that if you wear your seat belts you’ll be safer and, if a new variant comes out, I will then magically convince you to wear your masks again! 1.2778 0.04893 108 81 24 3
752 You guys are a tough crowd. Not as tough as when I worked Con Air, but still. 1.2778 0.06126 90 71 13 6
753 Ta-da! Your legroom has magically vanished. 1.2778 0.05235 108 83 20 5
754 One of these days this is definitely going to work. 1.2778 0.05709 108 86 14 8
755 If you watch the rest of my safety presentation, I’ll wave my magic wand and return all electronic devices to your hands. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
756 Be careful when opening the overhead compartment because "shift happens." 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
757 And for my next trick, I will make your food edible. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
758 Shazam! Only Aisle and Window Seats! 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
759 Watch while I make all signs of comfort disappear! 1.2772 0.05990 101 81 12 8
760 And for my next trick, watch closely as your leg room magically disappears. 1.2772 0.05822 101 80 14 7
761 Alakazam, alakazoo. A can of coke and some peanuts for you! 1.2768 0.05107 112 86 21 5
762 I wish they'd go back to serving wine 1.2768 0.04947 112 85 23 4
763 Your seat's not tight, the plane is on time and the pilot didn't party last night. 1.2768 0.05262 112 87 19 6
764 Now watch as your last hope of catching that connection disappears 1.2768 0.05107 112 86 21 5
765 For my next trick I will magically make your luggage disappear! 1.2766 0.05741 94 73 16 5
766 OK. Now I'm going to make your luggage disappear. 1.2766 0.05327 94 71 20 3
767 For my next trick I will get the kid behind you to stop kicking your seat back. 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
768 And for my next trick,I will pull more leg room out of my hat! 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
769 For my next feat, I will make the nine planes ahead of us on the runway reappear behind us! 1.2762 0.05496 105 82 17 6
770 For my next trick, I'll make complimentary drinks and snacks, as well as all basic human civility, disappear. 1.2762 0.05975 105 85 11 9
771 And voila! Your luggage is no longer on this plane. 1.2762 0.05152 105 80 21 4
772 If we run out of fuel I have this! 1.2762 0.05152 105 80 21 4
773 Yes, it is possible for the seats to get smaller! 1.2762 0.05820 105 84 13 8
774 And for our next trick, we are about to turn your seat cushions into a flotation device. 1.2759 0.06049 87 68 14 5
775 We have open space in first class and we are moving you up there at no cost. 1.2759 0.06266 87 69 12 6
776 I will now demonstrate how in an emergency we can evacuate all 300 of you from the aircraft in the FAA mandated 90 seconds. 1.2759 0.05590 87 66 18 3
777 Fasten your seat belts. The mariachi band is next. 1.2759 0.06266 87 69 12 6
778 Alakazam, I've changed your steaks into a bag of peanuts. 1.2759 0.06049 87 68 14 5
779 And voila, your luggage has disappeared! 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
780 In the case of a water landing, this wand will inflate. 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
781 Welcome to Southwest! 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
782 I'll bet you've always wondered what keeps a plane in the air. 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
783 I want you to think of a number between A10 and A17. 1.2752 0.04855 109 82 24 3
784 Repeat after me: "I AM in first class, I WILL leave a good review..." 1.2752 0.05193 109 84 20 5
785 Instead of larger seats, voilà, you now have smaller rumps. 1.2752 0.05662 109 87 14 8
786 Now I’ll make your bags disappear 1.2750 0.06156 80 62 14 4
787 Who says there is no magic in airline travel now? 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
788 Getting the Wi-Fi to work requires a little magic, and five dollars. 1.2747 0.05649 91 70 17 4
789 Watch as I make all passenger demands magically disappear. 1.2747 0.06066 91 72 13 6
790 Magic makes you forget how small the seat is. 1.2745 0.05601 102 80 16 6
791 Now For my next trick I'll make this child disappear. 1.2745 0.05242 102 78 20 4
792 Yes, your comfort is an illusion. 1.2743 0.04909 113 86 23 4
793 Next, I'll take your legroom and make it appear in first class!" 1.2743 0.05370 113 89 17 7
794 Just joking, your luggage disappeared before we took off 1.2740 0.06248 73 56 14 3
795 At least my act is first class. 1.2737 0.06068 95 76 12 7
796 And with one wave of the wand our seating capacity is doubled! 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
797 And now for a truly amazing feat, your luggage will reappear! 1.2737 0.05881 95 75 14 6
798 Now which overhead bin is the pilot in? 1.2736 0.05110 106 81 21 4
799 And now for my final trick, I'll make your luggage appear on a different flight 1.2736 0.05451 106 83 17 6
800 And just like THAT I made your connecting flight disappear!” 1.2736 0.04931 106 80 23 3
801 …and Devon devolves into magic during the third hour of waiting on the tarmac. 1.2736 0.05771 106 85 13 8
802 I will now begin your in-flight entertainment. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
803 Tell me please, who would you like to see disappear first? 1.2735 0.05513 117 94 14 9
804 For my next trick I shall make the pilot disappear. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
805 And, for only $3.99, my next trick will make the WiFi free! 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
806 And now for some real magic, I will make this flight pleasant! 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
807 And now… even MORE legroom! 1.2727 0.05888 99 79 13 7
808 Well, we made it to Cleveland. And now for my next trick, we're going to try to land . 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
809 Hi! This is your captain speaking! You're in for a surprise! 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
810 So, now that I've got us up, watch how I bring us down! 1.2718 0.05721 103 82 14 7
811 Contents in the overhead bins may shift during the flight ... or may completely disappear! 1.2718 0.05198 103 79 20 4
812 In the event of decompression, oxygen masks will appear at the count of $50 1.2718 0.05721 103 82 14 7
813 And now, I will make all of the babies on this flight stop crying at the same time 1.2718 0.05198 103 79 20 4
814 And to make the hidden fees reappear… 1.2717 0.06007 92 73 13 6
815 Voila! You’ve just been upgraded to Premium Economy! 1.2717 0.05377 92 70 19 3
816 And ‘Shazam!’ You’re in First Class, with unlimited champagne cocktails, hors’douvres, and Beef Wellington!’ But wait! I’m also the Amazing Kreskin, and I see you’re a Junk Food Vegan with a gluten intolerance? 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
817 Note that FAA regulations strictly prohibit the use of smoke and mirrors in this act. 1.2717 0.06007 92 73 13 6
818 Yes! I am your flight attendant but im also airmagician89 on TikTok, so buckle up! 1.2717 0.06007 92 73 13 6
819 And abracadabra, your luggage is going to Akron - while you head for the beautiful vistas of the Grand Canyon! 1.2710 0.05566 107 85 15 7
820 Last week he was the opening act in Coach. 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
821 For my next trick, I'll create the illusion that I actually care about you as passengers. 1.2710 0.05405 107 84 17 6
822 This section is now declassified 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
823 And Abracadabra, your luggage is in Lagos! 1.2710 0.05405 107 84 17 6
824 ...and for my next trick, I'll show you how to abruptly invade the personal space of the person behind you, with just the push of a button! 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
825 I'll bet you've been wondering what keeps this plane up in the air!! 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
826 And for my next trick I’ll make your luggage disappear before we land 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
827 I'm here to tell you the revived Boeing 737 Max you are flying in right now is completely safe. 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
828 Now I will levitate us all 30,000 feet into the air. And if that ain't magic, nothing is. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
829 Ma’am, I can make only one passenger vanish till landing. Not your toddler AND the man who complained about him. 1.2706 0.06348 85 68 11 6
830 I can't make your seat bigger, but I can saw you in half. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
831 Watch out your windows, please. In a moment with a swirl of my wand I will make the earth recede below us. 1.2700 0.05478 100 78 17 5
832 For my next trick I will turn a complimentary meal into a tiny bag of pretzels. 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
833 Abracadabra, your connecting flights are no longer cancelled. 1.2700 0.05660 100 79 15 6
834 For my next trick, I'll make this plane leave on time! 1.2700 0.05478 100 78 17 5
835 And with the wave of this magic wand, you'll forget all about the eight hour delay we had for this flight. 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
836 Hold your applause until we land. 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
837 ....and I apologise if due to previous customer choice your wish is not available. 1.2700 0.05660 100 79 15 6
838 Oh, fuck! 1.2700 0.05835 100 80 13 7
839 Now with a flick of the wrist I will make the pilot reappear! 1.2700 0.05660 100 79 15 6
840 And now your seat cushion is a flotation device. 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
841 I’d stretch the plane too, but you’d have to pay triple for the extra two inches of legroom. 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
842 Abracadabra Luggage Unshift! 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
843 Please pull a rabbit out of your hat before helping others do so 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
844 And for my next act: I'll make your child's composure disappear! 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
845 I hope the next act lands better than this one. 1.2696 0.05429 115 92 15 8
846 Smile folks. We don't appreciate bad altitude around here. 1.2692 0.04970 104 79 22 3
847 And now... for our in-flight entertainment! 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
848 What would you really like to eat on this flight ? 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
849 I'm your Captain. Make a wish, any wish! 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
850 According to the latest air travel consumer report, passengers expect magic amid labor shortages. 1.2688 0.05542 93 72 17 4
851 ...and through the wonders of modern air travel we've made your dignity disappear! 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
852 Presto! Your legs are now six inches shorter! 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
853 And just like that, your luggage has disappeared. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
854 The real trick is that I'm the pilot. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
855 And now, I shall make your patience and dignity disappear! 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
856 Let me guess, you can only make luggage disappear. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
857 I may as well tell you now that the "FASTEN SEATBELT" sign will stay on for my entire show. 1.2674 0.05341 86 65 19 2
858 A chunk of metal this heavy ain't gonna fly itself. 1.2674 0.06496 86 70 9 7
859 Abra Cadabra and there is more leg room with one free suitcase 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
860 And for my next trick the captain will regain consciousness! 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
861 And, ta-da, with our high-density configuration, your comfort disappears. 1.2674 0.06282 86 69 11 6
862 On my last flight he made my bags disappear. 1.2673 0.05430 101 79 17 5
863 There. Do you have more legroom now? 1.2673 0.05052 101 77 21 3
864 . Due to engine failure, we’ll need some volunteers for this next trick! 1.2673 0.05952 101 82 11 8
865 Your constructive criticism will be rewarded by (poof) an unattended baby behind you. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
866 And after me Shaky the Copilot Clown will perform his Turbulence Routine! 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
867 Abracadabra! She won’t kick the back of your seat. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
868 When you awaken you will remember air travel as pleasant, inexpensive and relaxing. 1.2667 0.06281 90 73 10 7
869 And just like that, I’ve made your checked luggage disappear. 1.2667 0.05458 105 83 16 6
870 And for our basic economy fliers, the onboard entertainment is...my side hustle! 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
871 For my next trick, I will make meal service completely disappear. 1.2667 0.05257 120 96 16 8
872 Watch as I make these towers disappear! 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
873 And voila! Your bags will arrive at the same airport where you will arrive! 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
874 And, yes I am the reason for our emergency landing in Denver. Like magic. 1.2667 0.06281 90 73 10 7
875 And now I've made your luggage disappear! 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
876 Beverage? Snack? Make that kid in Row 37 stop bawling? 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
877 Would you like to purchase the in-flight entertainment? 1.2667 0.05784 105 85 12 8
878 ...and in conclusion I will also make your food and beverage service disappear. 1.2667 0.05624 105 84 14 7
879 The rabbit under you seat can be used as a flotation device. 1.2661 0.05006 124 98 19 7
880 ...and when we reach our destination, you'll find that I made your luggage disappear." 1.2661 0.04873 124 97 21 6
881 Watch me pull your luggage out of my hat! 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
882 And for my next trick I will land the plane on time! 1.2661 0.05475 109 87 15 7
883 And now, to make some fees appear. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
884 My mother said the world would never accept a magician flight attendant. Who here thinks she was wrong? 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
885 Now, close your eyes everyone and imagine a flight attendant who doesn't hate you. 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
886 For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer from the audience... to give up their seat in exchange for a voucher on a future flight. 1.2653 0.05720 98 78 14 6
887 Alright, you folks in the exit row, are you willing and able to be my magical assistants? 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
888 If you lived here you’d be home by now 1.2651 0.06433 83 67 10 6
889 And for my next trick I’ll get us a union! 1.2647 0.05561 102 81 15 6
890 Unfortunately, the rabbit was confiscated at security. 1.2647 0.05732 102 82 13 7
891 Anybody see an escaped rabbit on this plane? 1.2647 0.05383 102 80 17 5
892 For my next trick, this flight will land on time at the originally planned destination and all your luggage will appear on the carousel without being lost. 1.2647 0.05383 102 80 17 5
893 For my next trick, I will now disappear for the next three hours. 1.2647 0.04812 102 77 23 2
894 For my next trick, the miracle of flight! 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
895 Bibbidi-Bobbidi, Alakazam; the child will stop crying in one moment, ma’am! 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
896 Anyone else want more legroom? 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
897 Everyone needs a side-hustle in this economy. 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
898 The pilots were let go in the last round of budget cuts... 1.2637 0.05813 91 72 14 5
899 And for my next trick, I'll be escaping the TSA agent getting up from his seat as we speak. 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
900 And this is how we land planes 1.2637 0.04645 91 67 24 0
901 If I saw you in half, you'll fit in your seat-- Presto! 1.2636 0.05582 110 89 13 8
902 On the last flight, I shrunk the seats! Now watch as I make your snacks disappear! 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
903 Stay calm! I'm the only member of the flight crew that relies on a magic wand. 1.2632 0.05837 95 76 13 6
904 After beverage service I shall make myself disappear. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
905 Rabbit, roses or almonds, sir? 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
906 And now I'll magically transport your checked luggage to Uzbekistan. 1.2632 0.06208 95 78 9 8
907 With a wave of this wand,I shall make you believe that a tiny bag of crackers is a meal! 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
908 In lieu of our projector not working, I'd like to offer you some entertainment for the next three hours. 1.2626 0.05847 99 80 12 7
909 Sleep, Sleep, Sleep... 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
910 I thought you said we weren’t flying Southwest 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
911 We just found this part. Anyone know where it goes? 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
912 For my next feat, presto chango, I will make you imagine you are not on a bus. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
913 We are headed to the Burmuda Triangle. 1.2621 0.05155 103 80 19 4
914 And now, for those who upgraded, I will give you the illusion of more leg space! 1.2621 0.05337 103 81 17 5
915 No Covid droplets here. 1.2619 0.06364 84 68 10 6
916 Abracadabra. You now believe the seats are comfortable, the food is great, the wi-fi works, and the tickets are reasonable. And the bathrooms are not disgusting. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
917 For my next trick, vanishing leg room! 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
918 Sir, prepare to be blown away... literally. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
919 Is he really in the cockpit? Are you sure? 1.2619 0.06364 84 68 10 6
920 For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer who will accept $200 to be rebooked on a flight that leaves next Tuesday. 1.2617 0.05367 107 85 16 6
921 For my next trick we'll be flying into the air on time and landing at JFK without any delays. Thanks for choosing when pigs fly airline 1.2617 0.05367 107 85 16 6
922 As part of your in-flight entertainment as we fly to Australia: magic trick number one. Of 3000. 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
923 Abbra Cadabbra! Your seats are now wider, you will receive a free snack and lunch, we will arrive on time and you will make your next flight. Presto Chango! 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
924 For a small gratuity I can even change that seat-kicking kid to a different row. 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
925 I'd like to entertain you unless you're using miles 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
926 Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Booze! 1.2614 0.06153 88 71 11 6
927 Hey, Main Cabin, how about a big welcome cheer for the good folks in First and Business! 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
928 More legroom, no! Wider aisle, no! There must be a wish I could fulfill for you! 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
929 OK, and now, with the tip of my wand, masks are...NO LONGER REQUIRED! 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
930 And for my next trick, your luggage disappears! 1.2609 0.06157 92 75 10 7
931 And voilà, the lavatory smoke detector is now disabled. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
932 Abracadabra: First class upgrade. 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
933 And for our next trick, we make both your money and comfort disappear! 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
934 Now, your next service to disappear will be.... 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
935 In the unlikely event of a water landing I will just whip out my magic wand and turn this flying hunk of steel into a Disney Cruise Ship! Please note this may result in a ticketing change fee. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
936 And in lieu of your in-flight meal....MAGIC !!!!! 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
937 And for my next trick, I’ll give you more than an inch of legroom. 1.2600 0.05617 100 80 14 6
938 I need your help. The rabbit got loose. 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
939 Crampacadabra. 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
940 And when we're flying over the Bermuda Triangle, we all say "Abracadabra". 1.2596 0.05465 104 83 15 6
941 You won’t believe how close I can make these seats 1.2596 0.05291 104 82 17 5
942 At the count of 3 you won’t recall this lousy flight 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
943 and now...my disappearing luggage trick 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
944 And for our dinner entrée: pulled rabbit! 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
945 No amount of magic can change your seat to first class. 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
946 Still better than "Now You See Me 2" 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
947 My friends won’t watch my tricks anymore so I am seeking captive audiences 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
948 Tips are greatly appreciated, unless someone wants the right engine to start losing power. 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
949 Now, ladies and gentlemen, watch as I pull a parachute out of my hat. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
950 …and PRESTO! Now you’re the pilot. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
951 and now i’ll give you nausea!!! 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
952 And for my next illusion, I will attempt to convince you that this airline gives a hoot about your comfort by handing you a bag of stale peanuts. 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
953 Your meal choice is rabbit or dove. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
954 And, voila, we no longer serve peanuts. 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
955 And voila! Your luggage is gone. 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
956 Even I can’t make your seat go back. 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
957 I will now make all comfort disappear. 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
958 ...and remember folks, it's a taser now too! 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
959 And when you get off the plane, your luggage will have disappeared. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
960 And now for my next trick, extra leg room! That’ll be $500. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
961 Coffee, tea, or magic?" 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
962 Now let me see if I can make the pilot reappear. 1.2571 0.05418 105 84 15 6
963 Sure, and with this wand, I can bring you a hot meal and a roomier seat 1.2571 0.05246 105 83 17 5
964 My show will feature coins, scarves, cards, and whatever else was returned after my TSA screening. 1.2571 0.05246 105 83 17 5
965 And...poof! Your checked baggage has disappeared. 1.2569 0.05438 109 88 14 7
966 hocus pocus you CAN have the whole can of soda 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
967 “Remember, if you really, really believe, your luggage will appear on the carousel!” 1.2561 0.06211 82 66 11 5
968 Expecto seatsbackio! 1.2561 0.06449 82 67 9 6
969 And now, for my next trick, I will restart both engines! 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
970 Welcome to no frills airlines. I will now make your luggage disappear. 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
971 I will now turn your seat cushion into a floating device. 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
972 Decent food is out of the question, but a gently-used headset you shall have! 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
973 Just coins and rabbits…can’t help with the crying baby. 1.2558 0.06230 86 70 10 6
974 We’ll be up in the air in no time. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
975 What's it worth to make your legroom reappear? 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
976 A little sleight-of-hand before the flight's to land? 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
977 The flight is being diverted to Pittsburgh. Tada! 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
978 Can I have a lovely volunteer from coach? 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
979 220 tons of metal reaching 40,000 feet and 600 mph…magic! 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
980 Abracadabra! The seat kicker will now disappear. 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
981 I apologize specifically to your child, but, due to airline regulations, I can't bring the rabbit back until we are off the plane and out of the airport. 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
982 Airbuscadabra 1.2553 0.05647 94 75 14 5
983 Now that we have reached cruising altitude, I shall dehypnotize the flight crew. They are once again just performing seals . 1.2553 0.05846 94 76 12 6
984 Oxygen masks will magically descend from the ceiling.... 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
985 Now, about that one 'only good' landing wheel we've got left... 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
986 Abracadabra---The child behind you will neither cry nor kick your seat. 1.2551 0.05858 98 80 11 7
987 It can turn into a broomstick if there's an emergency. 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
988 And for those of you wanting some extra leg room, I will saw you in half. 1.2549 0.05155 102 80 18 4
989 Look outside. We're flying. 1.2549 0.04963 102 79 20 3
990 You're getting very sleepy, and won't remember a bit of this turbulence 1.2549 0.05340 102 81 16 5
991 And for my next trick, I'm going to make you all fly. 1.2549 0.05340 102 81 16 5
992 Due to unnatural forces, expect a surprise landing! 1.2549 0.05518 102 82 14 6
993 And for my next trick, first let my beautiful assistant bring in the More Leg Room Box and the Magic Saw! 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
994 Our flight will take aproximately 12 hours. You're all becoming sleepy, very sleepy . . . 1.2547 0.04845 106 82 21 3
995 . . . .And it's only an additional $9.95 to participate in the sing-along....credit cards only. 1.2544 0.04795 114 89 21 4
996 Magically, I've made all travel comforts, DISAPPEAR! 1.2542 0.04690 118 92 22 4
997 And for an extra $300, I can change the rabbit back into your pilot. 1.2542 0.05272 118 96 14 8
998 Now, who wants a wider seat? 1.2540 0.04904 126 101 18 7
999 At Abra Cadabra Air, your astonishment is our top priority!" 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
1000 Abracadabra! You deserve first class and have been chosen to lead the revolt! 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
1001 Imagine, life without the politics of Earth...we're off to Mars to start fresh and overcome our mistakes. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
1002 Here at Spirit Airlines, you just have to BELIEVE in the magic of customer service and leg space 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
1003 And for my next trick, I’ll make everyone miss their connecting flight. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1004 And now...nutless chow mix!!!" 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1005 For my next trick, I'll shrink your legroom even more! 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1006 Now for the illusion of safety. 1.2530 0.06378 83 68 9 6
1007 Welcome to Oz! 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
1008 I'm here to enhance your flight experience. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
1009 I'm a mime on the way back. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
1010 I actually made us fly btw. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
1011 Not enough leg room? I've got just the trick! 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
1012 With a wave of my wand and a mandate from Corporate, all of your free in-flight amenities will disappear. 1.2529 0.06165 87 71 10 6
1013 For my next trick, I will make all your legroom disappear. 1.2529 0.05944 87 70 12 5
1014 And now for a little more legroom! 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
1015 I will now attempt to return dignity to air travel.” 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
1016 And that is how this plane is able to fly! 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
1017 For my next trick, I’ll make the kid in the 2nd row disappear! 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
1018 Leviosa! 1.2527 0.05970 91 74 11 6
1019 It was that or having Ron DeSantis pick your destination. 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
1020 I'm here to prevent a plane crash! 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
1021 inflight entertainment should be optional 1.2527 0.06171 91 75 9 7
1022 Next stop Hogwarts! 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1023 And with a wave of my magic wand, one of you will have a free meal. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1024 Could I have a volunteer? 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1025 I've never failed to stick a landing. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1026 And voila! No more peanuts! 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1027 For my next trick, I will TRY to make the pilot reappear. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1028 For my next trick, I’ll make this man’s legroom disappear! 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1029 Don't worry about the safety, it is all in magic!! 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
1030 “If you think that was a great trick, wait until you try to find your luggage!” 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
1031 Welcome to the Magic Carpet Ride. 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
1032 And while we don't anticipate a drop in cabin pressure... 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
1033 ...and you all believe you are in business class. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
1034 Abracadabra! He can no longer kick your seat! 1.2523 0.05490 107 87 13 7
1035 I can assure you, the pilot will be returning any moment now 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1036 Don’t worry folks; I will now make the captain re-appear! 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
1037 Hi, folks. Your on-board entertainment today will be 'Rabbits on a Plane'. 1.2500 0.06523 76 62 9 5
1038 And for my next trick, we will actually be taking off on time. 1.2500 0.05573 100 81 13 6
1039 Now watch carefully as I turn this perfectly normal bit of cardboard into a delicious chicken frittata and bread roll. 1.2500 0.05735 96 78 12 6
1040 And with this in my hand we'll be able to land! 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
1041 Close your eyes and wish for more legroom. 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
1042 Should there be an emergency you folks are screwed ... I will simply pixie-dust right on out of here 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
1043 Can we have our TV screens back? 1.2500 0.05000 100 78 19 3
1044 Now watch as I turn a fifteen-minute delay into an hour delay! 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1045 My next trick is to clear the oversold seats. 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
1046 When you wake the inflight meal will seem edible. 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
1047 Watch me make your leg room disappear. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
1048 Ethel, that's why they named it "The Magical Mystery Tour" 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
1049 If needed,oxygen masks will drop from behind your ears. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
1050 For my next trick,I will make $150 appear for someone willing to take the next flight. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
1051 Finally, watch as I make your luggage disappear. 1.2500 0.05046 84 64 19 1
1052 Being a flight attendant pays the bills, but it was never my passion. 1.2500 0.05038 92 71 19 2
1053 Of course, there is a $30 in-flight entertainment fee. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
1054 On the count of 3 I will put this child to sleep until we land 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
1055 Now when I say the magic word, you won't feel the toddler kicking you seat constantly throughout the flight. 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
1056 Trick or pretzels? 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
1057 And when I say 'abra cadabra' all of your luggage will miraculously be there when we land! 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1058 And you thought in flight entertainment was only available in 1st class. 1.2500 0.06523 76 62 9 5
1059 Welcome to Prestidigitator Airlines. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
1060 Abracabraaaaaaaace for impact! 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
1061 Recline your seats for the illusion of comfort. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
1062 Legume - Mushroom - alla fa lume - give these folks more leg room 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
1063 John finally found a captive audience for his close-up magic routine. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
1064 Now I’ll perform my most difficult trick, I’ll provide you an airplane meal from 30 years ago. 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
1065 Watch closely as I make another 3 inches of leg room disappear! 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
1066 Welcome to Magic Airlines. We'll get you there one way or another!" 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
1067 Amtrakadabra! 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1068 For my next act, I will make the plane depart on time! 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
1069 And in the event of rude or drunken behaviour, I'll wave my magic wand and you will all dissapear. 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1070 And for my next magic trick, I will return flying to its original splendor… 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1071 ... and just like that we'll be back on the rails in one, two, ... 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1072 And then the Fed Chairman said, Voila! Inflation gone! 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1073 For my next trick, I’ll decrease the amount your seats recline by half! 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
1074 On the count of three you will be your satisfied with the leg room and meal service. 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
1075 Abracadabra! And this aircraft is flying! Now, in the unlikely event we …… 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
1076 With a flick of my wand, I’m gonna make your baby disappear. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1077 In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I’ll be asking for a volunteer from the audience. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1078 And with a wave of my wand your luggage just disappears! 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1079 And now for my disappearing legroom trick... 1.2473 0.04751 93 71 21 1
1080 hippity dippity ding, the plane has lost a wing 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1081 Ever heard of the magic school bus? 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1082 Contents of one overhead bin may have mysteriously shifted to another. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1083 And for my next trick, I will make our pilots… disappear!!! 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
1084 Presto, Change-o, you're now in 1st class!!!! 1.2472 0.05124 89 69 18 2
1085 And we’re flying! 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
1086 And, Poof! Your stomach is full of delicious meal and your favorite beverage. You're Welcome! 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
1087 In flight magic wands can be purchased for twelve dollars… 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
1088 And just like that I've made your luggage disappear forever! 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
1089 ...and just like that, we're behind schedule... 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
1090 I’m Kevin, the Amazing, and I’ll be your flight attendant today. In the unlikely event of a water landing, I will turn this aircraft into a really big boat. 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
1091 Does he have a delete button? 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
1092 It’s how we put the 737 Max on autopilot. 1.2471 0.05268 85 66 17 2
1093 It's okay, I'm an emotional support magician. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1094 Please pay attention while I demonstrate our new backup elevation system... 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
1095 AlaKazaam!! All your tray tables and seats have been returned to their original, upright position. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1096 And now for a very special announcement about your baggage... 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1097 Your luggage will be unloaded and placed on the conveyor belt first. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1098 More leg room? Sorry, I don't take requests. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
1099 At the count of three, I'm going to make your luggage disappear. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
1100 For my next trick, I will be presenting you some turbulence 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
1101 Abracadabra. It’s not chicken. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
1102 For my next trick, I will turn your seat cushions into flotation devices. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
1103 Every time a child says 'I don't believe in magic', there is a plane somewhere that falls down dead. 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
1104 And when I snap my fingers you will all sleep until the captain says we are landing. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
1105 For my next trick, there miraculously will be a runway already aware we are arriving!!! 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
1106 You want your roll-ons to fit overhead, or not? 1.2455 0.04690 110 86 21 3
1107 I can do magic, but asking for food and drinks is crazy talk! 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
1108 ...and in case of emergency, I'll pull parachutes out of my hat...! 1.2451 0.05474 102 83 13 6
1109 An optimist created the plane, and a pessimist created seatbelts. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
1110 And for my next trick I will figure out how to land this thing. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
1111 Just a reminder folks! Let’s all behave! This is a tazzer 1.2447 0.05796 94 77 11 6
1112 Watch me turn your seats into first class. 1.2447 0.05796 94 77 11 6
1113 And now for my next trick I shall make your luggage disappear! 1.2444 0.05765 90 73 12 5
1114 For my next act, I'll make your checked bags disappear. 1.2444 0.05978 90 74 10 6
1115 No pilot? No problem! 1.2444 0.05765 90 73 12 5
1116 And now, I'mg going to make a home-cooked meal on china plates appear! 1.2444 0.05978 90 74 10 6
1117 ...and now in lieu of our in-flight movie... 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
1118 …and that is how carry-ons fit in the overhead compartment. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
1119 Who says flying isn't what it used to be? 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
1120 I lo-o-o-ve captive audiences. 1.2442 0.06175 86 71 9 6
1121 ... and if you think I'll be able to make free snacks and drinks for you, you've had too much to drink in the departure lounge. Have a nice flight! 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
1122 I will now set you free to move about the cabin. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
1123 I will now make leg room, meals, and discount fares disappear. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
1124 Now watch as I make our estimated arrival time disappear. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
1125 Your pilot will be looking for this in a few minutes. 1.2439 0.06150 82 67 10 5
1126 Due to the labor shortage, they can't fire me. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
1127 Flying is magic—it’s me keeping this plane aloft! 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
1128 Come fly with me. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
1129 For my next magic act the flight will arrive on time. 1.2439 0.06150 82 67 10 5
1130 I’m in charge of closing the overhead luggage compartments. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
1131 The rabbit just did something on my head. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
1132 Please choose from an assortment of snacks and beverages which will be then pulled out of my hat. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
1133 With this wand, I will levitate this vehicle and take us to the nearest soft landing concrete area. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
1134 And Presto! We have an on-time arrival with all of your luggage! 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
1135 Folks, we appreciate your patience as the flight crew records their latest attempt at a viral TikTok video. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
1136 I see we have some out-of-towners in the audience. 1.2436 0.05221 78 60 17 1
1137 And for my next trick, I am going to land the plane. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
1138 Quiet the baby? No, but I can pull a rabbit out of a barf bag! 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
1139 And any joy of flying will disappear. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
1140 Anybody want an upgrade? 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
1141 My first trick will explain Bernoulli's principle. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
1142 let me show you a little trick before we crash 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
1143 And for my next trick, I'll make this screaming child disappear! [thunderous applause ensues] 1.2427 0.05426 103 84 13 6
1144 When I clap my hands, you will be asleep... and magically not remember the 5-hour delay to board. 1.2427 0.05426 103 84 13 6
1145 Let me amaze you with an on-time departure! 1.2427 0.04672 103 80 21 2
1146 And for my next trick, I will fit an expedition-size suitcase into the overhead.” 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
1147 And now I will make your anxiety about sitting uncomfortably close to total strangers while hurtling through midair in a pressurized and possibly pathogen-infected metal can that you don't know how to operate disappear - using only Biscoff cookies! 1.2421 0.05933 95 79 9 7
1148 And now for my next trick, I will pilot us to our destination on time. 1.2421 0.05741 95 78 11 6
1149 Watch me pull some peanuts out of my hat! - 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
1150 This is your captain. Enjoy our new technology. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
1151 You might remember me from my work aboard Malaysia Airlines Flight 370“ 1.2418 0.05918 91 75 10 6
1152 Going to wave this, so we can guarantee your flight won’t be canceled 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
1153 Happy thoughts keep the plane up! 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
1154 We are trying everything to ensure you make your connections today. 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
1155 And for my next trick, I will pull your warm towel out of my hat. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
1156 And with three waves of my wand, your baggage shall simply disappear! 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
1157 Don't worry, I have the autopilot engaged. 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
1158 And now for something to relax you before the landing. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
1159 I’m told you have a complaint about legroom? 1.2414 0.06110 87 72 9 6
1160 Watch me pull 2 extra inches of legroom out of my hat! 1.2414 0.04895 87 67 19 1
1161 I’m your captain and Mr Wand is your co-pilot 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
1162 For my next trick... landing. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
1163 . . . and this flight will be smooth, we'll arrive on time, your baggage will be found, and an attendant at the gate will refund half of the outrageous fare you paid. 1.2410 0.06320 83 69 8 6
1164 No leg room,no beverage service,no smoked nuts,no carryons,only one working lav,but entertainment for your flying pleasure. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
1165 And now I will pull a tiger out of the overhead compartment. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
1166 And now for my last feat of incredible magic, I am going to make the baby in 27A, who has been crying for the last two hours, stop!” 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
1167 Due to astounding, mesmerizing, and unforeseen circumstances, our flight has been delayed. 1.2410 0.04723 83 63 20 0
1168 The pilot has just told me we’ll be making a brief stop in Hogwarts on our way to Heathrow in lieu’ of an actual meal. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
1169 Don't worry, I'm not allowed to make flights disappear anymore! 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
1170 We no longer offer seat belts, this is just as effective. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1171 For $50, I can magically make that obnoxious child behind you stop kicking your seat. 1.2405 0.05164 79 61 17 1
1172 I am here to bother you all flight long! 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
1173 and abracadabra - your legroom has disappeared! 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1174 A good steward never reveals when there is life-threatening turbulence! 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1175 Imagine a moment ago you were on this flight without any seats! Now for my next trick cabin space will become fully occupied and we will gate check your bag for free! 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1176 In the event of an emergency landing,we will all chant Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo! 1.2405 0.04839 79 60 19 0
1177 - And now, as you can see, in the same space there are thirty two rows instead of twenty eight. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1178 I'd pull a rabbit out of my hat, but he got added to the first class menu. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1179 Yes there’s magic in the air! Unfortunately we’ve been grounded indefinitely by air traffic control. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
1180 We told you there would be consequences for not putting your seats back to their full upright position. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
1181 For my next trick, I will make your legroom disappear! 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
1182 And for my next trick I'll make the person in the middle seat disappear 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
1183 The Captain asks that everyone repeat after me, "I believe I can fly." 1.2400 0.06532 75 62 8 5
1184 bibbidi-bobbidi-boo... your ears will now pop! 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
1185 Now that I've explained checked luggage, Suzy will explain your seat belts. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1186 Here at Frontier airlines your bags will magically reappear in an undisclosed location somewhere in the southern peninsula. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1187 Would everyone please check to see if there is a rabbit hiding under the seat in front of you. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1188 Bam! Now check the overhead, your bags are gone. 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
1189 And now for my final trick, I shall make even more legroom disappear. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1190 This is what happens on the other side of the curtain. Happy? 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
1191 Fasten your seatbelts because this is going to be a magical flight! 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
1192 Abraca-baggage-be-gone! 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
1193 I'm going to stick this wand up your ass! 1.2391 0.06059 92 77 8 7
1194 And now we will go back in time to your scheduled arrival time. 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
1195 I come free with the flight - but for small fee - less than the baggage fee -I can disappear. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
1196 If you follow me to the toilet, I'll let you join the mile high magic club... 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1197 And for my next trick I will pull peanuts out of my hat! 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1198 Watch as all your leg room disappears 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1199 Well, folk, it looks like we're stuck on the runway for a few more hours, but the good news is . . . 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1200 Welcome to the only magical part of your flight! 1.2386 0.05826 88 72 11 5
1201 For my next trick, I'll make your anxiety *disappear* 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1202 Buckle up! I will now levitate this plane and transport it to Chicago! 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
1203 presto! now you think you have been served a full course meal 1.2386 0.05826 88 72 11 5
1204 Abracadabra wheels down! 1.2386 0.04847 88 68 19 1
1205 Be careful opening the overhead bins, items may have been transformed in flight 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1206 And when you awake your plane will be ready for take off. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1207 Abracadara...a package of five peanuts! 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1208 Presto! Your bags have disappeared. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
1209 With a touch of my wand. No COVID here. No COVID there.... 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
1210 With this magic wand I will upgrade your mind to business class. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
1211 i've always wanted to conduct in an airplane. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
1212 And now for my next trick, I'll make airplane food actually taste good. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
1213 And magically, you’ll get 50,000 points when you sign up for our sky card 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
1214 In the unlikely event of an emergency landing I will wave this wand 1.2376 0.05477 101 83 12 6
1215 Watch as I make our 2 hour delay go “poof!” 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
1216 And, that's how I get the kid to stop kicking your seat 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
1217 Voila! More legroom! Hahaha, just kidding. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
1218 Have a wand-erful flight, my Pretties! 1.2375 0.06225 80 66 9 5
1219 The pilot has had a heart attack , the copilot is drunk, No Worry, I Got This ! 1.2375 0.06225 80 66 9 5
1220 Good afternoon,I am your captain. Do you want to see this plane land itself? Abracadabra! 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
1221 My last trick concerns your luggage. 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
1222 And for my final trick your seat will expand to fit your bum. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
1223 Sorry, but making myself disappear is not an option. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
1224 I can’t give you more leg room, but I can give you baby legs. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
1225 Greetings, boys, girls and children of all ages, my name is Mister Dram-O'Meen, and today I'll help with air sickness. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
1226 No need for masks; we've made COVID magically disappear on on all flights. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
1227 Just be grateful I'm not doing my comedy! 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
1228 If you believe in magic, this flight will be enjoyable. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
1229 Ta da! Thanks to auto pilot I can now begin your in flight entertainment. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
1230 Watch you hot meal and extra leg room disappear! 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
1231 « We’ve moved to live entertainment, more carbon neutral » 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1232 ...and now I'll say the magic words and make the pilot re-appear. 1.2366 0.05999 93 78 8 7
1233 Who thinks I can't make your seats smaller? 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1234 Voila! Your luggage has mysteriously disappeared. 1.2366 0.05999 93 78 8 7
1235 ...and there goes your leg room. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1236 Now I shall remove the handles from your luggage. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
1237 There's no business class, like show business class. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
1238 Song and Dance Airlines proudly presents . . . a take off. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
1239 This plane weighs 175,000 pounds at take off. Do you really think it gets off the ground on aeronautics alone? Wingardium Leviosa! 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
1240 And for my next trick, I'll make flying enjoyable again! 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
1241 Would you like more leg room? Sorry that trick never works 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
1242 Crura aperta spatium 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
1243 And for my next illusion...more footroom. 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
1244 In case of an emergency pull this wand from under your seat and wish for either a parachute or use it as a flotation device 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
1245 For my next trick, an on-time arrival. 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
1246 Presto...a medium size black suitcase has just disappeared. 1.2358 0.04143 106 81 25 0
1247 When I say 'abracabra' you'll instantly switch places with the pilot. 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
1248 I will turn one of you into a First Class passenger.... 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
1249 A rabbit and doves, and I can't get a ham sandwich past security! 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
1250 For my next trick, I’ll make any last comfort disappear. 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
1251 Poof!... you're now floating in the air. 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
1252 You will all wake up when I count to three, and you will remember the flight turbulence as a happy romp in a bouncy castle. 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
1253 We like telling people this is the reason their luggage disappeared. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
1254 And for my final illusion, ladies and gentlemen, we will arrive at our destination on time. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
1255 This is located under your seat to be used when locating your luggage in baggage claim. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
1256 I can do anything but get your flight in on time. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
1257 Poof! Your legroom's been cut in half. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
1258 Good question, but no you will still need to file a missing bag claim at the service desk 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
1259 Ta-da! Your seat cushion is now a flotation device. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
1260 And,we will get you there,on time. 1.2346 0.06637 81 69 5 7
1261 Thank you for flying RYANAIR. One of you lucky folks will arrive at the same destination as your luggage. 1.2346 0.06400 81 68 7 6
1262 Do you want the vegetarian option or the rabbit? 1.2346 0.06400 81 68 7 6
1263 now to predict our chances for an on-time takeoff 1.2340 0.05542 94 77 12 5
1264 And for my next trick, I am going to land the plane from coach with my eyes closed. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1265 Being a pilot doesn’t pay as much as you think 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
1266 Ta Da, look out the window. We are leaving on schedule. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1267 Is *this* your safety card? 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
1268 Vaccine anyone? 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1269 Yes, normally I AM your pilot, but today, our inflight entertainment system is broken again. 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
1270 Daddy, isn't torture covered by the Warsaw Convention? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1271 And when I say "Emergency," you will be able to pull out both a life vest and a rabbit from under your seats. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1272 Before I make the flight crew reappear, it’s time to pass the hat. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1273 I'm making your baggage disappear 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1274 Thank you for flying "Magic Air' where flight is always on time and you will make your connecting flight 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1275 And now, more legroom. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1276 Now I will pull a rabbit from this hat. Watch closely.. even if you have seen this trick before, as some parts may have changed 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
1277 Pay no mind to the lack of man behind the curtain. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1278 And now...she won't kick your seat! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
1279 With a flick of my wand, we will simultaneously rise into the air. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
1280 You will sleep without calling for food or drink until we arrive at our destination. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
1281 In the event of an emergency, the compartment above you will pop open and a rabbit will fall out. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
1282 All together now...seatbacks up, tray tables locked. seatbelts on... 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
1283 I know most of you are used to flying Spirit. I promise we’re a more magical experience. 1.2329 0.06621 73 61 7 5
1284 What, did you really believe that this metal tube flies because of science? 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
1285 Well, you believed in magic when you packed your carry-on! 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
1286 ... and that's how you land a plane with magic. Now who wants Pringles? 1.2326 0.06117 86 72 8 6
1287 Magic is also why you no longer need masks. 1.2326 0.06117 86 72 8 6
1288 Presto! You're all in First Class! 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
1289 And in the event of turbulence or anything at all you find unsettling, I'll be happy to provide you with your very own emotional support balloon animal. 1.2326 0.06117 86 72 8 6
1290 I’m not in airplane mode yet. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
1291 Presto!" One more inch of leg room 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
1292 And for my final trick… I will make your legs disappear so as to make room for an additional row of seats. 1.2323 0.05529 99 82 11 6
1293 Behave yourselves or I'll put you in my hat with the rabbit. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
1294 And voila, the plane has vanished into thin air. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
1295 Can I have a couple of volunteers? 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
1296 The captain has asked if we can have a volunteer from the audience. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
1297 For my next trick Ill shut all the babies up. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
1298 And now for a small fee, I’ll make your luggage reappear. 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
1299 For my next trick, it’ll be $3 if you want a snack to appear. 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
1300 We’re testing out a new form of in-flight entertainment. 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
1301 Any one know how to find Detroit. The wand needs re charging 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
1302 And for my next trick, I’m going to make the brat in the seat behind you DISAPPEAR! 1.2317 0.06328 82 69 7 6
1303 Hmm, that didn't bring the pilot back. Let's try again. 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
1304 I'm going to turn everyone's mini pretzel bags into a real meal. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
1305 And now your lunch will… reappear! 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
1306 For my next trick, I’ll make your luggage arrive where it’s supposed to. 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
1307 For my next trick, I'm going to land the plane on time.... 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
1308 And now for you folks in coach I'll make the free beverages disappear 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
1309 Watch me pull a therapy pet out of my hat! 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
1310 Do you want a drink, a snack, or, a show? 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
1311 I will now reduce the dislocation in my right shoulder! 1.2308 0.04961 91 72 17 2
1312 Standing room tickets aren’t bought, they’re earned 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
1313 I hope he can make sure that our luggage is on this flight. 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
1314 And now, ladies and gentlemen, in a few moments, I will magically levitate us all into the thin air!" 1.2308 0.05651 91 75 11 5
1315 There are several emergency exits on this aircraft: forward, aft, and inside my vanishing tomb. 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
1316 And for my next trick, I’ll increase your fare while reducing your leg room! 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
1317 And for my next trip, I will make the pilot magically reappear in the cockpit! 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1318 Whatever you wish you can forget it. 1.2300 0.05660 100 84 9 7
1319 And now for my next trick I will produce something edible. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1320 Now pretend we take off on time. 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
1321 For my next trick, I shall make legroom disappear. 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
1322 I'm part of the airline's effort to increase leg room" Gerry Broderick, Milwaukee, WI 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
1323 Captive audiences are my favorite. 1.2299 0.06052 87 73 8 6
1324 AAAAND poof! your luggage is gone! 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
1325 Our in-flight entertainment budget has been reduced. 1.2299 0.05827 87 72 10 5
1326 I will now make your lost luggage reappear. 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
1327 And now I’ll make your online rate disappear. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1328 Abracadabra…more leg room! 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
1329 Surviving check-in, TSA and boarding may seem like enough magic, but just humor me a minute." 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
1330 For a slight upgrade fee, I will make your typical three hour international delay memory disappear ! 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
1331 Is there a doctor on board? 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1332 I will make this very plane fly dear passengers 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1333 Watch me pull a pilot out of my hat!” 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
1334 Poof, no more dignity. 1.2297 0.06538 74 62 7 5
1335 Presto chango, this is as good as it gets. 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
1336 Your blankets, leg room, and warm meals have disappeared. 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
1337 This next trick requires a verbal response from those of you seated in the emergency exit row. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
1338 He just wanted to get his emotional support rabbit on board 1.2289 0.06488 83 71 5 7
1339 Since we, at Cheapo Air, offer no streaming services to save 995 pounds, I'll be your entertainment for this five hour flight. 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
1340 And for my next trick: an appetite-filling bag of peanuts. 1.2289 0.06018 83 69 9 5
1341 Your luggage? Sure, I’ll just wave my magic wand. 1.2289 0.06018 83 69 9 5
1342 I kid you not, with one spell I can make this heavy metal tube fly through the air! 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
1343 And with just a quick wave of this wand,I can make your luggage disappear. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
1344 Not even I can make airline food edible. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
1345 And for my next trick, we’ll be departing… on time! 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
1346 And for my next trick, I’m going to make this plane depart on time! 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
1347 Why don't you come with me little girl, on a magic carpet ride? 1.2286 0.05055 70 54 16 0
1348 We will only be stuck on the runaway for three magical hours! 1.2286 0.05449 70 55 14 1
1349 I suspect this is a joke at the expense of flight attendants; fuck that. Flight crews are overworked, underpaid, overexposed to every pathogen floating around. The airlines treat them like garbage and with the same contempt they have for passengers. 1.2286 0.05783 105 90 6 9
1350 And for my next trick, I will fit at 7 foot tall man into a seat with only 30 inches of legroom! 1.2286 0.06490 70 58 8 4
1351 Ta-dah! Your luggage has vanished! 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1352 The captain says this works best for gaining altitude... 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1353 Now close your eyes and imagine your luggage arriving at your destination. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1354 Alaca-no-more-crying-babies-zam 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
1355 We're already there! 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
1356 It takes magic to depart on time 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
1357 And now, out of thin air, I will conjure a $75 fee. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
1358 Nothing up my sleeve except injection site redness and swelling. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
1359 I will now fasten all of your seatbelts. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
1360 In the event of an emergnecy, please do magic on yourself first then assist others with your magic. 1.2278 0.06483 79 67 6 6
1361 I call this trick “the illusion we are taking off on-time!” 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
1362 Who needs safety features when we have magic? 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
1363 And for my next act, I will assure that no child will kick a seat, cry, or need a diaper change for the duration of the flight. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
1364 ...and for my next trick, we're all going to enter the Bermuda Triangle. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
1365 I wear this in hopes of deterring angry customers from punching me in the face again. I just want to do my job. 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
1366 And now, 5 hours of your life will vanish before your eyes. 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
1367 Thank you for flying Budget Airways! Now who wants to see their dignity reappear? 1.2273 0.05766 88 73 10 5
1368 And for my next trick, I'll make the landing gear disappear! 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
1369 I'm going to give you all 2 more inches of foot room...I hope this works! 1.2273 0.04775 88 69 18 1
1370 And with a wave of the wand all your seats have returned to an upright position! 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
1371 Ladies and gentleman, I just made all the food trays disappear! 1.2273 0.04775 88 69 18 1
1372 Your In-Flight entertainment is meee 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
1373 Just wait till you see how I stick the landing! 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
1374 The passengers could not have hoped for a more entertaining or murderous hijacker than Bwren. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
1375 Watch now as I make your will to live disappear! 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
1376 For my next trick your seat belts must be fastened. 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
1377 It's called levitation. Your belief in my powers keeps us aloft. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
1378 Of course, all planes run on magic anyway. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1379 Watch as I make legroom disappear. 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
1380 Next, I shall make us fly. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
1381 Now watch your checked baggage disappear. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1382 Don't make my bags disappear! 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1383 I put a spell on you,and now you’re poliiiiiiiite. 1.2262 0.05952 84 70 9 5
1384 Who wants the pilot to reappear? 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
1385 My right arm is broken!!! 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
1386 You'll only wish we sawed you in half 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1387 … and now I'll make your luggage disappear. Oops, too late. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1388 My next trick will cost you $35 or 3,500 frequent flier miles 1.2262 0.05952 84 70 9 5
1389 And with a wave of my wand, you're still in coach! 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
1390 We are experiencing a staff shortage , so we multi task on all our economy flights. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1391 Poof! Now no one can recline their seat onto your lap! 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
1392 Alakazam! Lunch will taste like chicken AND fish! 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
1393 Who needs wings? 1.2250 0.06156 80 67 8 5
1394 By this magic wand, I shall disappear until landing" 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
1395 And now my best almost impossible trick - We will be landing on time!!! 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
1396 But clearly our left engine is even better at making doves disappear. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
1397 For my next trick I will make you believe you are comfortable. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
1398 All waits over two hours on the tarmac now come with entertainment. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
1399 And your checked bags have disappeared. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
1400 Well, actually I flunked out of flight school. But as your copilot, I have extra skills that should comfort you!" 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
1401 Aren't you the pilot?" 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
1402 Would this 600,000-pound death machine be flying through the air if we didn't have MAGIC? 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
1403 Anything else needs to fit into the overhead bin? 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
1404 My next trick? After we land we are going to somehow force another seat into your row! 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
1405 Tada! Inflight movies not available. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
1406 For my next trick, an entire flight without a deeply disturbing smartphone scene. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
1407 I will now magically double your fares. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
1408 It’s the only way everything fits in the overhead bins. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
1409 For my next trick, I'll make your dignity disappear. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
1410 it'll be a magical journey 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
1411 Click your heels twice and we will reroute to Kansas. 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
1412 I can’t turn this into a first class cabin or get rid of the middle seat but I can change the cookies for nuts! 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
1413 And just like Oprah's magic: YOU get bonus leg room; and YOU get free wine; and YOU get a pet bunny (check under your seat). 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
1414 And, with just one swipe of my magic wand, I will make airline food enjoyable 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
1415 Now that I have made you believe you have enough elbow room, we will be serving a hot meal! 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
1416 ...and now I will make the pilot reappear. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
1417 Sorry, there is no magic powerful enough to make that kid stop kicking the back of your set. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
1418 Presto Chango! It’s not turbulence! It’s a massage chair! 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
1419 Nothing up my sleeve, you will sleep… 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
1420 And for my next trick, never before accomplished, I will get us off the ground on schedule! 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
1421 We'll have a happy landing! 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
1422 You're in Economy, you were expecting Hugh Jackman? 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
1423 Abracadabra, your food is now magically delicious!! 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
1424 Three wishes are included in your ticket price 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
1425 At Abracadabra, we aim to restore the magic of air travel. 1.2235 0.05888 85 71 9 5
1426 And for my next trick, I’ll make your legroom dissapear! 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
1427 And for my next trick, the airline will charge you an entertainment fee. 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
1428 And now I'll make any sense of confort disappear. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
1429 Listen to my voice. We do not have engine trouble. The sound you hear is your neighbor snoring. We do not have engine trouble... 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
1430 Welcome to American Airlines Got Talent! 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
1431 Et voila! The inflight meal gone forever! 1.2234 0.05691 94 79 9 6
1432 Your bags have disappeared! For 20 bucks, they can reappear! 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
1433 …and that’s how oxygen masks appear! Now, two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left, and two Wrights made an airplane… Am I right, people!? Don’t forget to tip your server. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
1434 And voila! Your checked bags are now in Phoenix. Enjoy your stay in Seattle. 1.2233 0.05332 103 86 11 6
1435 The captain would like to know if anyone is really good at making wishes. 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
1436 Now watch me make your luggage disappear. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1437 Our flight time will be approximately two hours but seem much longer. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1438 For my next trick, I'll make the crying baby in 11b stop crying. 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
1439 If you see something, say something 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1440 Abracadabra! We made your bags disappear. 1.2222 0.06086 81 68 8 5
1441 For my next trick, I will turn tiny bags of mini-pretzels into lobster rolls. 1.2222 0.06334 81 69 6 6
1442 I am practicing for an upcoming audition and need a captive audience. 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
1443 First class comes with everything you could wish for. 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
1444 I found that people actually listen to the safety instructions when I do this. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
1445 One, Two, Three, We arrived. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1446 Harry Potter Lives! 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1447 So you want to know about the disappearing frequent flier miles? 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1448 In the event of an emergency, a rabbit will appear in front of you and become your personal comfort animal. 1.2222 0.05648 90 75 10 5
1449 For a small fee, we are now happy to saw you in half and double your leg room. 1.2222 0.04969 81 64 16 1
1450 And for my next trick... Your bags will magically appear on the luggage carousel on time and undamaged! 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
1451 And for tonight's in flight entertainment we have... 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
1452 What can I conjure up for you, little lady? 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
1453 And THAT'S how you get a rollerboard in the overhead compartment! 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
1454 My automatic pilot said I could try a new trick... 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1455 And for my next trick I will get everyone to understand what wheels first means in the overhead bins. 1.2222 0.06086 81 68 8 5
1456 Take out a credit card, any credit card! 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
1457 My tricks are non-stop and I work for peanuts. 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
1458 Legroom can neither be created nor destroyed, so we just convert it into other more useful forms of energy, like magic and anger! 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
1459 And he had left his cockpit... 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
1460 Behold ! …the flying stick ! 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
1461 Watch me make the kid behind you kicking your chair disappear. 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
1462 Look carefully at my wand and you will stop caring that the seats were moved even closer to one another than the last time you flew. 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
1463 Presto; Less seat space, Less leg room! 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
1464 I'm here to reschedule your flight. 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
1465 "Levitation is my specialty, but I'm still working on getting to cruising altitude. 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
1466 For my next trick, I'll make your ears pop! 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
1467 And should you become unruly, know that this wand doubles as a cattle prod. 1.2208 0.06303 77 65 7 5
1468 Your crew is on a stage in Las Vegas. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
1469 Have to practice somewhere! 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
1470 I'm just wild about Harry ! ... 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
1471 Wanna see a magic landing? 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
1472 You are now in first class 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
1473 Please use your own magic wand before assisting others 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
1474 One more try to get the pilots back for the landing. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
1475 And for my next trick, I'll take away what dignity remains. 1.2206 0.06574 68 57 7 4
1476 . . . and the Prime Rib comes rare, medium, and . . . 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
1477 A little bit of column A, a little bit of column B! 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
1478 Presto! My luggage now takes up the entire overhead bin! 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
1479 We're leaving 15 minutes late, and presto! We're arriving 15 minutes early. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
1480 And now, I will make your checked luggage disappear 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
1481 When I wave this wand, each seat will be three inches wider. 1.2198 0.05806 91 77 8 6
1482 And voila! Your legroom is gone. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
1483 Say “Abracadabra” and the Wi-Fi will work seamlessly! 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
1484 ...and hey presto, your lugage has disappeared. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
1485 In lieu of movies on this aircraft, I'll be entertaining you with a few magic tricks. I've already made your baggage disappear! 1.2195 0.06017 82 69 8 5
1486 For my next trick, I'll be turning a frozen shoe sole into our dinner service entree. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
1487 And just like that… I will make your luggage disappear. 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
1488 Can you check under your seats for a rabbit? 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
1489 Abracadabra! We’ll take off and land on time, that baby won’t cry, your luggage will….ha ha ha 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
1490 … and now, to answer the questions about ‘what keeps this big plane in the air…’ 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
1491 I've magically cut your legroom in half, and now I'll make your check-in luggage disappear! 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
1492 We like to call it our magical, mystical tour! 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
1493 This was easier than getting open-mic slots. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
1494 And unless you have a better explanation. That is how an airplane flies. 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
1495 Poof! We're in Pittsburgh. 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
1496 For my next trick, I'm going to throw this child out of the window! 1.2192 0.06542 73 62 6 5
1497 In case you were wondering how this things stays in the air. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
1498 Abracadabra… Alakazam! We are officially duty-free! 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1499 I’ll cut the doves loose in a minute. I call it The Miracle of Flight. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
1500 Welcome to Dirt Cheap Airlines. My name is Tarmac the Magician. I am your entertainment in lieu of movies. 1.2188 0.05381 96 80 11 5
1501 For my next illusion, I’ll make ONE of your checked bags reappear! 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
1502 Abracadabra, Bernoulli's principal is now a scientific fact. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
1503 Sorry, TSA confiscated the rabbit in my hat 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
1504 My next trick is turning on the seatbelt sign! 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
1505 What did you think was keeping us up here? 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
1506 Dead engine ! No problem. This should do the trick. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
1507 This plane travels at Warp Speed so we will be in Los Angeles in four minutes. 1.2179 0.06228 78 66 7 5
1508 Not only will we take off on time but your baggage will be at your destination. Just kidding! 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
1509 So that’s how the luggage always disappears. 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
1510 And now, I will work the strongest illusion of all, making you enjoy this trip! 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
1511 Billy sit down before you get us kicked off the plane 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
1512 Now, watch closely as we fly over the Bermuda triangle... 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
1513 Welcome aboard. It's just me! 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
1514 Watch me pull a drunk and disorderly passenger out of my hat! 1.2179 0.06490 78 67 5 6
1515 I'm your flying fairy and I've got the magic wand to prove it. 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
1516 Now we continue with autopilot 😁 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
1517 The takeoff was great and for my next trick the plane will land itself without a pilot" 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
1518 We will now be magically travelling through time, over the dateline. 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
1519 My first trick is to stop that child sitting behind you from kicking the back of your seat. 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
1520 And voila! The flight will now be departing 7:39… this evening! 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
1521 Ta da! No more middle seat! 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
1522 Due to recent Supreme Court decisions, we are no longer allowed to provide you with life vests. In the unlikely event of a water landing, 1.2174 0.06486 69 58 7 4
1523 For my next trick, airplane food that tastes good. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
1524 And for my next magical trick, I'll put your luggage on a flight to Ulaanbaatar! 1.2174 0.06486 69 58 7 4
1525 For my next trick, I'll pull a comfort support rabbit from under my hat 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
1526 And for my next trick, I'll make your carbon footprint disappear! 1.2174 0.05747 92 78 8 6
1527 At the count of three,your seat will turn into a lay-flay bed and the caviar service will commence. 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
1528 On the count of three I will attempt to land this plane. 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
1529 I'm here for the Berkowitz bar mitzvah. 1.2174 0.07113 69 60 3 6
1530 And, poof - all your luggage is going to Grand Rapids! 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
1531 Nothin’ up mah sleeve…no peanuts, cookies, or snacks of any kind. 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
1532 ABRACADABRA! For a $7 up-charge you can see my amateur magic act! 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
1533 watch you're oxygen masks will magically appear as we hurdle toward the ground. 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
1534 Who said flying isn’t as much fun as it used to be? 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
1535 Welcome to Spirit Airlines! My name is Jeff and I'll be conducting your séance this flight. 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
1536 You have been upgraded to broom closet class where all your leg room complaints will be magically ignored!! 1.2174 0.06807 69 59 5 5
1537 And, presto, now your bags are in Dallas! 1.2174 0.06486 69 58 7 4
1538 And if you check, you’ll find that your luggage is now gone 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
1539 And wah-lah, no pilot.” 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
1540 Abracadabra! I'll make your airsick bag reappear! 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
1541 When you wake, that feeling in your back will be a deep tissue massage. 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
1542 For my next trick, I shall give you the exact same amount of legroom! 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
1543 Tray tables up, seats forward, seat belts fastened, and LEVITATION! 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
1544 I'm in luck! They can't figure out how to play the movie. 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
1545 Even though you folks were too cheap to pay for a movie, this airline has graciously allowed you to be entertained by me ! 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
1546 You get an upgrade! You get an upgrade! 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
1547 Welcome to Houdini Airlines, where we have business class, economy class, and magic class. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
1548 Maybe he'll pull an on-time arrival out of his hat? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
1549 In the event of a water landing, the plane will — voila! — turn into a boat. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
1550 And your luggage will arrive as planned 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
1551 I'm here to enhance the fun . .an anti Randarian . .who won't carry on .. .. if a nazi attendant pinches a bun . . 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
1552 Just look here and… poof… no memory of your flight from hell. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
1553 And instead of having a food service, you have me, Magic Tom to keep you amused for the next 6 hours. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
1554 See this free meal? ... Gone! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
1555 Now, I will return us to the magical days of airplane travel!!! 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1556 And now I'll make oxygen masks seemingly appear from nowhere... 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
1557 And for my next trick I’ll land it blindfolded ! 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1558 And now, watch me pull an actually edible snack out of my hat. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1559 'This airline isn't so bad--sure, the entertainment isn't amazing, but the jugglers in baggage handling were fine with three bags a person, and the mime at the ticket counter never said anything about my support balloon animal.' 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1560 For my next trick, I will pretend like I don't know that absolutely everyone already knows how to buckle a safety belt. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
1561 a new take on inflight entertainment 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
1562 And now, defying all the laws of physics, common sense, and self-preservation, this plane will lift off the ground and hurtle through the sky. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
1563 Ta-Da! Your leg room has disappeared. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
1564 If you fuck with me you'll be sorry. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
1565 I hear he started this act so that he could get his pet rabbit certified as a service animal. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
1566 If the Karen won’t exit the aircraft, then…avada kedavra 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
1567 Abracadabra! 123! This is how to sit in your seats! Listen to me! 1.2152 0.05885 79 66 9 4
1568 Yes, the Irish attendants are just a little different.. 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
1569 And "presto," the leg room, free drink, and snacks disappear! 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
1570 And for my next trick, I'm going to summon an ontime departure out of Newark 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
1571 Pick a safety card, any safety card… 1.2152 0.05885 79 66 9 4
1572 And now, watch as I make all your luggage disappear! 1.2152 0.05885 79 66 9 4
1573 Any volunteers? Maybe the crying baby in 4B? 1.2152 0.05885 79 66 9 4
1574 And for all of you in coach… I will now make your leg room disappear. 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
1575 And abracadabra… a bag of pretzels you don’t want! 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1576 ...and in the magical event of a "water landing"... 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
1577 The real trick is going an entire flight without a baby crying. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
1578 And now for our greatest trick, actually landing the plane. 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
1579 Abracadabra, Autopilot! 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
1580 With this wand I can make you all sober and well-behaved. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1581 And for this next trick all of your luggage will magically be rerouted to Detroit 1.2143 0.05475 98 83 9 6
1582 I am here to explain what to do in the case of a water landing. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
1583 Sirs and madams, a mere donation to keep the child from crying. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1584 I am the magician who made the food and service disappear overnight! 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
1585 And for my next act, I will make your legroom disappear. 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
1586 and now…I will shift the baggage in your overhead compartment right before your very eyes. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1587 Federal regulations require that you politely watch my magic act for the duration of the flight. 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
1588 You can have anything but leg room, free luggage, free beverage, free seat selection, or any personal dignity. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
1589 Rabbit or dove sir?” @aaamanda 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1590 Hey, passengers, watch me pull an upcharge out of my hat! 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
1591 For my next trick, all your luggage will disappear. 1.2135 0.05412 89 74 11 4
1592 I will now grant everyone's wish to have both an aisle & window seat. 1.2135 0.04651 89 71 17 1
1593 You're carry-on will disappear with your luggage! 1.2135 0.05412 89 74 11 4
1594 And for my next trick, I’ll make this child cry for the next 3 hours. 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
1595 All aboard for the Magical Misery Tour! 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
1596 Those bags of yours at baggage claim… he presto…gone. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
1597 What were you expecting? The cast of Cats? 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
1598 I will now make the passenger sitting next to you, to whom you don't wish to speak, disappear! 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
1599 For you in-flight meal this evening, we offer a choice of rabbit or dove. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
1600 The airline calculated that I'm cheaper than offering seat-back entertainment systems. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
1601 I can get us there in the blink of an eye. 1.2133 0.06379 75 64 6 5
1602 At the count of three, we will be delayed another three seconds! 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
1603 This is just for disabling the Wi-Fi. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
1604 Hi folks, now you'll find out why we're so cheap. 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
1605 And for my next trick, I will make your patience disappear. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
1606 And poof! Your luggage is back in Newark. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
1607 When I say abracadabra, you will think you have enough leg room… 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
1608 Ok, let's say it louder, "I believe we can fly!" 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
1609 I can change your destination to any place in any nation 1.2128 0.05427 94 79 10 5
1610 FYI: I WISH THE TOILETS WERE WORKING… 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
1611 Due to rising fuel prices the airline is investing in sustainable and responsible alternatives. Now everyone repeat after me, “Wingardium Leviosa!” 1.2125 0.06083 80 68 7 5
1612 And now for the presentation for the "Fear of Flying" workshop. One participant asked, "How can something so massive and heavy take to the air?" The answer: It's magic! 1.2125 0.06338 80 69 5 6
1613 And now, for my next trick, I will make your legroom disappear. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
1614 Using nothing but the power of my magical wand, I am going to put out the fire in the starboard number three when I count to three! 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
1615 No, but I did move them to the rear of the plane. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
1616 This is your captain speaking. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
1617 And now it's time for a little flight of hand... 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
1618 And now we will reprice your seats. 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
1619 And remember, I can make your luggage disappear. 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
1620 And next, I'll make your luggage disappear! 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
1621 I'll disappear the first one who throws a punch. 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
1622 How did you think this baby stayed in the air? 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
1623 Who wants to be the pilot and fly this plane? 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
1624 Voila, more leg room! Haha 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
1625 My mother would love this! 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
1626 And now for my most amazing magic trick, I will give you lower fares, more leg room, on-time flights and stellar service. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
1627 I'll be your inflight entertainment today 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
1628 In case of emergency, just wish upon a star 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1629 Even my wand is in the full and upright position. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1630 Tada! Your luggage will now reappear in the Maldives! 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1631 So in other words: I'll need to see your ticket, sir. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1632 Is there a doctor on board? I've cut my assistant in half. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1633 On the count of three,air travel will be fun again. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1634 No, no magic in First Class. They pay to keep me away. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1635 And just like that *poof*! COVID isn't contagious anymore! 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1636 ...and POOF, the plane disappears. 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
1637 And for my next trick, I’ll make you pay $30 for a bag of peanuts. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1638 … And just like that you’ve gone from economy to first class! 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1639 And for my next trick, I'll make that baby disappear! 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1640 Apple Juiceius, Appeariaccio! 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1641 Fasten your seat belts - I'll say 'hocus pocus' and the plane disappears. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1642 Face it. It’s the only way I’ll keep you all happy between here and Fort Lauderdale. 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
1643 Can you please make the crying child behind me disappear? 1.2113 0.04879 71 56 15 0
1644 At the count of three, I bring you Amelia Earhart 1.2111 0.05585 90 76 9 5
1645 And if any of you opens a window on this red-eye, they'll get a little tap from the magic stun wand. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
1646 Next folks you will fly through the air at 30,000 ft in an upholstered chair 1.2110 0.04337 109 88 19 2
1647 And now I’ll make the pilot reappear… 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
1648 I can get us there in the blink of an eye, or we can sit for 6 hours on the tarmac - your call. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
1649 On the count of three your checked baggage will land in… Canada! 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
1650 Sorry, it doesn’t do legroom. 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
1651 . . . and that, ladies and gentlemen is how aeroplanes fly. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
1652 Unfasten your seatbelts!: we're entering the bouncy castle portion of your fun flight! 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
1653 And now I will make you levitate. 1.2105 0.05374 95 80 10 5
1654 You can fly! You can fly! You can fly! 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
1655 Abracadabra! Now it's safe to open the bins because they are empty! 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
1656 Pick an airlines safety instruction card, any airlines safety instruction card. 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
1657 For my next trick I will make your expectations of arriving on schedule disappear. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
1658 And now for my next trick, a completely stress free flight or I could Turn your child into a rabbit. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
1659 And just like that, we'll have a smooth landing. 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
1660 I can accept tips, but no cash 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
1661 Yes, you have entered the nexus of employer desperation for warm bodies and the thriving gig economy. For my next trick, your dissatisfaction will be silenced by your awareness of the futility of protest. 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
1662 And now--or in 45 minutes--I will make a small glass of ginger ale appear. 1.2099 0.06013 81 69 7 5
1663 And now, I will magically increase leg room for the first two rows. 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
1664 For my next trick- getting this baby to shut up. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
1665 At the count of three,you will no longer feel hungry for the meal we aren’t serving you. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
1666 ...and just. like that all the children under two have disappeared 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
1667 Voila! I've just made your luggage magically appear in Schenectady! We'll be landing in Akron shortly. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
1668 ..... and that's the magic of flying! 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
1669 You're in luck today with an all-gay flight crew. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
1670 I told you we should've taken the silent car. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
1671 Now watch as I make the pilots reappear. Presto... Presto... PRESTO! 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
1672 I know a lot about ‘cabin pressure’. I’m here all week. 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
1673 We don't have a movie, so: time for magic! 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
1674 For my last trick before landing, all your carry-ons in the overhead compartments will be in the same position as you had placed them before takeoff. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
1675 And now ladies and gentlemen, I will make your luggage disappear... forever. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
1676 And for my next trick-- creating legroom and the chance at a beverage 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
1677 And whoever guesses where we will end up landing gets an extra bag of nuts. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
1678 And for my next trick, the pandemic is over! 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
1679 For my next trick, I'll make our pilot disappear. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
1680 More legroom? I'm not a miracle worker! 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
1681 one, two, three..and covid doesn’t exist!” Return to pre-pandemic flying feels like magic! 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
1682 Welcome to Wizard Air. Tap your heels together three times for Buffalo. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
1683 Did someone ask for a second bag of cashews? 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
1684 Et voila! Your child will now behave their self for the entire duration of the flight! Save that one meltdown, wait no, two, or maybe three… 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
1685 This is the captain. Listen up. Pay attention to the flight attendant’s emergency instructions or he’ll turn you into a flight attendant too. He was a passenger on a previous flight so stay awake. 1.2088 0.05303 91 76 11 4
1686 No mask only on the plane, ideal for stage artists... 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
1687 Welcome to Magic Air's pilotless airlines 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
1688 well due to a shortage of pilots this magic wand is now our best chance of reaching our destination without an eight hour delay 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
1689 And for my next trick I will appear to be a happy and pleasant employee! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
1690 Obnoxicus Ductapeia. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
1691 And, in case of an emergency, You will use the exits to your right and left, while I disappear in a puff of theatrical smoke. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
1692 Poof. You now have legroom! 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
1693 Next, all the luggage in the overhead compartments will disappear. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
1694 The pilot called in sick this morning but don't worry. I will be in the cockpit. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
1695 The pilots have disappeared, but don’t worry, I found the rabbit. 1.2079 0.05324 101 86 9 6
1696 Please be careful when opening the overhead bin, as some items may have become YOUR CARD! 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
1697 This is a pilot program. He wants me to pull a landing gear out of my hat! 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
1698 And just like that, the pilot has disappeared. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
1699 I'm here to distract you from that child kicking the back of your seat! 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
1700 At the count of three, we'll be levitating above 30,000 feet. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
1701 We are now back in the 1950s so sit back and relax. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
1702 Watch as I pull a bag of peanuts out of my hat. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
1703 ....And now to attempt a trick you will hardly ever see these days -- we will land this plane on time! -- and your luggage will appear in the terminal!! 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
1704 Now, watch carefully as your legroom continues to disappear. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
1705 Just wait. The clown from business class will join me in a minute. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
1706 And now I will summon a bottled water. Those of you who want a real one, please give the cabin crew $12.00. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
1707 FAA rules prohibit charming babies, but they say nothing against putting you two into a 5 hour coma. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
1708 And now, for our next trick, we will make your luggage disappear. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
1709 And for my next trick, a ticket to where your luggage is actually going!” 🪄 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
1710 And with this, may your bags arrive at your final destination 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
1711 Well, that's my time, I have a show on another plane in a minute. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
1712 And for my next trick, I'm going to need four or five volunteers to help me subdue the drunk in seat 23D! 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
1713 In-Flight Entertainment.....Movies not Included 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
1714 Relax and enjoy your flight while we wait on the tarmac. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
1715 Please Roscoe open the bin I have to land the plane 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
1716 ‘Harry Potter and the Plan B Flight Entertainment’ is about to start. 1.2073 0.05686 82 69 9 4
1717 For first class only. Lapin a La Cocotte 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
1718 "Haha. No, sir...your connection is not in my hat. But I might have a tiny bag of pretzels and a third of a soda. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
1719 And, presto! Your leg room has disappeared. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
1720 Abracadabra it flies. We have no idea either. Sit back and relax, 1.2069 0.04664 87 70 16 1
1721 With any luck and some fairy dust we'll be taking off soon. 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
1722 We make Newark a wonderland! 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
1723 Voila! Your seats are now even smaller! 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
1724 In the unlikely event of a loss of air pressure in the cabin, masks will magically appear above your heads. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
1725 I'm Tim O'Toole, letting you know that whatever you ask for will require a magical intervention to fulfill. 1.2063 0.06463 63 53 7 3
1726 Once this flight gets going and you need something, I am going to make myself disappear! 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
1727 STUPIFY KARIN!!! 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
1728 Mr. Copperfield only works first class. 1.2062 0.04381 97 78 18 1
1729 To keep everyone nice and calm, I’ll entertain you with a few tricks 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
1730 I will now pull live snakes out of the overhead storage compartments! 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
1731 And now a good meal will appear! 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
1732 Have you seen a rabbit? 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
1733 For my next trick, I am going to saw all the passengers in Economy Class in half. It won't hurt a bit and you will find it more comfortable. 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
1734 For my next trick, I'm going to make the airplane disappear. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
1735 We go ‘Uppity Up Up - and then Downity Down Down …. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
1736 And now some very special magic, sit back and enjoy the flight. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
1737 In the event of an emergency, the hidden door overhead will open and this magic wand will drop down; use it to grant your wish to land safely. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
1738 Rabbit's gone, but you can have the chicken or the pasta. 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
1739 Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to distract you from your lingering climate guilt! 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
1740 Prepare to be dazzled with the magic of condescension! 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
1741 For a small additional fee, I will make the baby in the seat behind you disappear 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
1742 Chicken or beef 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
1743 Now for my next trick: The Disappearing Leg Room. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
1744 Aruba-cadabra! 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
1745 Let’s have a singalong, “Oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang.” 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
1746 The attempt at levity brought the whole plane down. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
1747 ...and for my next trick I will make human dignity disappear. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
1748 We pilots dress this way to make our passengers feel better. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
1749 I bet you didn’t think you could fit in there. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
1750 Voila! And just like that, your leg room disappears 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
1751 For my next trick, I will keep the oxygen flowing-even if the bag does not inflate... 1.2051 0.04602 78 62 16 0
1752 Your checked bags have now disappeared! 1.2051 0.06150 78 67 6 5
1753 It feels like we're at a middle school talent show. 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
1754 Hi. My name is David Copperfield. Now I'm going to make this plane disappear 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
1755 Hazzah! The child is asleep! Jokes, what can I get you ma'am? 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
1756 and now for my greatest magic trick....your luggage will arive on time!! 1.2051 0.05873 78 66 8 4
1757 I always wonder what his real job is. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
1758 Down on three. 1.2051 0.05873 78 66 8 4
1759 For my next trick I will make this entire theater levitate. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
1760 Voici d’avoir au Air Canada 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
1761 And in the event of a crash landing…. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
1762 More legroom? Unfortunately, there's no spell for that. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
1763 Poof! Your checked bags have disappeared! 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
1764 And when I tap you, it’s your turn to head to the slide 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
1765 No sir, I cannot put a Petrificus Totalus spell on that young lad kicking your seat. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
1766 Kazam! I'm back! Hey, you're the wrong audience! 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
1767 If ever off we lift,I command your belongings not to shift 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
1768 Pick a delay, any delay. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
1769 At least something’s in the air. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
1770 Welcome to Presto's Levitation Airlines where the final destination of your baggage is still up in the air! 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
1771 Tada! Your bags are now gone! 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
1772 And voila . . . when you land the suitcase will be gone! 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
1773 Your carbon footprint is zero! This flight would be on with or without you. 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
1774 How did you think this stays in the air - physics? 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
1775 I can’t bring back free check baggage with the wave of my wand, lady, but I can make your leg room go poof. 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
1776 The child behind you in NOT kicking your First Class seat…ILLUSION! 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
1777 And for my final trick, we’ll be arriving 10 minutes early at the gate 1.2034 0.06743 59 50 6 3
1778 I'm Henry, your pilot! 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
1779 And presto chango I will create leg room! 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
1780 Hold on tight for my next trick; the disappearing pilot! 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
1781 With a wave of my wand, you'll be delighted to be in Dayton. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
1782 Please direct your attention to the cabin crew, who will provide some in-flight entertainment 1.2031 0.06748 64 55 5 4
1783 In the event of an emergency landing, please place your own top hat on before assisting others. 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
1784 And for my next act an on-time flight. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
1785 Ta-da. No more hectored safety instructions. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
1786 Ladies & gentleman,it is I the Great In-flight Entertainment 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
1787 Abbra-ta-dabra! We're there! 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
1788 With a wave of my wand, this plane will lift off the ground ... assuming your seats are upright and tray tables stored. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
1789 On the count of three it’s like you have extra leg room and a seat upgrade! 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
1790 The captain has told me to try some magic 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
1791 Watch me pull a complimentary bag of peanuts out of my hat... 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
1792 Ladies and gentlemen! This is your captain speaking. It looks like my copilot is off his medication again. 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
1793 I'm dancin'and singin' on the plane 1.2029 0.06390 69 59 6 4
1794 Behold! As I declassify documents without a hat trick! 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
1795 Hello, my name is D.B. and I will be your hijacker today. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
1796 For just $49 you can upgrade to presto-legroom-cadabra. 1.2027 0.06079 74 63 7 4
1797 And on the count of three, all of your checked luggage will disappear! 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
1798 For $25 I'll make your fees disappear 1.2027 0.06376 74 64 5 5
1799 And magically your sense of time will disappear as we sit on the tarmac. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
1800 Good morning, I'm a flying sorcerer! 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
1801 The in-flight food may be awful but the entertainment is first rate. 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
1802 In case of emergency, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you. Ta-Da! 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
1803 Your seat cushion serves as a magic carpet in an emergency. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
1804 Well, okay. But a better trick would be to return to flying the plane, Mr. Potter. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
1805 When I say the magic words, we will all be able to fly! 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
1806 Watch me as I make in-flight service disappear! 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
1807 Poof! No more drink or food service. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
1808 Presto chango--now we're Delno. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
1809 And for my next act, I'll make in-flight service disappear 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
1810 And for my last trick before we fly over the Bermuda Triangle... 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
1811 In the event of a Potter landing, your seat cushion can be used as a levitation device. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
1812 sorry, the crew is a no-show but management assures me that this will work … so please fasten your seatbelts 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
1813 And now I will make myself disappear for the remainder of your flight. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
1814 Watch how I try, and try, to pull a reduced fare out of my hat! 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
1815 Peanuts or crackers? 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
1816 Our airline uses these when retrieving baggage. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
1817 Alacazam! WiFi is now available for purchase or free for our for airline card holders. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
1818 When I wave my wand one more time, everyone not wearing mask will vanish. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
1819 Hi, I'm Bobby the Angel, and you should have worn your masks. So, Welcome! 1.2022 0.05801 89 77 6 6
1820 You’ve been a great audience, only three more hours til takeoff on our magic carpet! 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
1821 And with a wave of my wand we will magically arrive at our destination without mentioning that we’re a tiiiiiiiiiiny bit short on fuel” 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
1822 You folks micro dosing tonight? 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
1823 And voila! You all have COVID. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
1824 For my next trick, I'm going to make your luggage disappear for three days. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
1825 After the merger with Spirit, *Poof* three inches of legroom have now disappeared. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
1826 And for my next trick, the stakes are mile-high! 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
1827 Abracadabra, your masks have disappeared!” 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
1828 Forget your seat width c’mon get happy… 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
1829 Our next stop: Somewhere Over the Rainbow 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
1830 There’s an upcharge to sit in the “No Magicians” section. 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
1831 At Illusion Air, you may not get snacks or drinks-or seats that recline, but you do get "moi" and my enchanting magic tricks! 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
1832 …and hey presto, no carbon footprint! 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
1833 I’m trying to find myself. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
1834 In the event of a water landing, your magician does act as a flotation device. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
1835 No pocus on this hocus. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
1836 And that is why my assistant is in the window and the aisle seats. 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
1837 Your eyes are getting heavy,you are falling into a deep sleep,and soon you begin to feel the soothing comfort and the gentle pulse of a warm lumbar massage kicking you intermittently and constantly for the next 4 hours. May I get you anything? 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
1838 Well they played until the titanic went down, how is this any different." - the 9/11 magician 1.2000 0.06651 65 56 5 4
1839 Free water and air if you guess correctly 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
1840 Remove the coin from your ear before removing the coin from the ear of anyone around you. 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
1841 An engine just failed , make a wish 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
1842 ...And for my next trick, I will make a 200 ton metal tube levitate 35,000 feet in the air. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
1843 And to open the emergency exits, just say the magic words.... 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
1844 I bet you didn't know that I'm the one levitating this plane. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
1845 Business class upgrade? No problem. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
1846 I’m here to tell you your luggage has disappeared! 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
1847 Well, you're in coach, so you can Abra-ca-get-it-yourself. 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
1848 The Captain has asked me to entertain all of you, granting anyone their last wish... 1.2000 0.07003 65 57 3 5
1849 Where does it itch? 1.2000 0.06296 75 65 5 5
1850 Hocus Pocus, when we fly, we like to stay up in the sky. Enjoy the rest of your flight, folks 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
1851 All together folks: We have not been sitting on the runway for thirty minutes. We have not been sitting on the runway for thirty minutes. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
1852 My last trick will give us a safe landing. 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
1853 And , presto, you leg room disappears! 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
1854 Frogs it is! I warned you not to spit on each other in front of the child. 1.2000 0.06003 75 64 7 4
1855 For only $49.95 we can transform the child to a nice Louis Vuitton. 1.2000 0.06006 80 69 6 5
1856 5 bucks to watch 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
1857 When you wake, it will be lunch time 1960. Order now. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
1858 For my first act, I will make the pilot appear! 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
1859 Tip me if you want to arrive safely 1.2000 0.06305 70 60 6 4
1860 No, I can't make tasty snacks for everyone at no charge; this is magic, not miracles. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
1861 Mechanic anyone? 1.2000 0.06003 75 64 7 4
1862 With a wave of this wand,I give you the strength to endure the indignities or air travel. 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
1863 For an additional fee I can make the toddler behind you disappear. 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
1864 I'm guessing you all know we're not in Kansas anymore. 1.2000 0.04650 75 60 15 0
1865 For twenty bucks I can make your luggage arrive at your destination. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
1866 I’m auditioning for a pilot episode. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
1867 Magicians beyond borders 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
1868 After the third screen reset attempt fails, this is the last hope… 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
1869 Behold, our brand new self-flying plane is ready for takeoff 1.2000 0.06003 75 64 7 4
1870 I don't know how drive a plane but I believe in magic! 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
1871 And now for my next trick,"The Levitating Airplane!" 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
1872 And then the oxygen mask will magically fall down.... 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
1873 And that's how aircraft fly. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
1874 I'll make the airplane smell disappear! 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
1875 ...and for my next trick,violence intenders will be turned into frogs! 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
1876 And...presto! The extra seat space you paid for is gone. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
1877 Who wants to see me pull a bag of pretzels from behind your ear. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
1878 Go ahead and hate *me* instead of each other. 1.1975 0.05937 81 70 6 5
1879 We can't take off until I've sprinkled everyone with pixie dust. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
1880 For my next trick, I will make the drink service disappear. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
1881 Abracadabra! Legroom disappear! 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
1882 And just like that…leg-room has disappeared. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
1883 Still... my magic cannot make this 14-hour flight anything approaching 'a nice flight' 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
1884 The Mile-High Club is a fantasy / You'll be lucky if you get a seat / That's not between a perv and a Karen / Now lock your lap belt and put your smile on 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
1885 Okay, then just pretend that you are flying. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
1886 Your luggage has magically dissapeared, but I will now take a rabbit out of the overhead compartment. 1.1975 0.05671 81 69 8 4
1887 If you think making the flight attendants disappear was a neat trick, watch while I make the pilot and co-pilot disappear. 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
1888 If this was first class, I'd be holding your card in my hand. 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
1889 By the end of this magic show, you won't just stop being afraid of a crash - you'll actively wish for one. 1.1974 0.06218 76 66 5 5
1890 As the captain announced, our WiFi is out. But have no fear: I’ve been getting into magic! 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
1891 And presto the peanuts have disappeared. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
1892 Abra cadabra no legroom. 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
1893 When I count to three you will wake up and no one will want to eat, drink or need to use the bathroom until we land in Chicago. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
1894 Can you make some of these new fees disappear? 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
1895 There's a reason no one has ever asked if there was a magician on board 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
1896 Voila! It fits. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
1897 For your comfort and safety, I'll now be making each seat as wide as they used to be. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
1898 And ouila, you are still in economy coach seating! 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
1899 Welcome to Hogwarts Air. Today's snack is whatever you wish! 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
1900 And poof! Your ears just popped 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
1901 And now, watch me make a baby scream for 3 hours. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
1902 Unless you can magically transport us to 1st class, please move on we are trying to sleep. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
1903 And for my next trick, make sure your seatbelts are securely fastened. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
1904 And with a flick of my wand, you'll feel the magic of flying in the 1930s. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
1905 Buckle your seatbelts. My next act is called: Turbulence. 1.1972 0.04755 71 57 14 0
1906 Yes folks, lowest prices in airline history so we do fly by magic. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
1907 Ta da! All your baggage is now going to other airports! 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
1908 Ladies and gentlemen. Wake up! I'm really the chief pilot in disguise." myoken@umassd.ed 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
1909 Finally! The part you have been sitting on the tarmac waiting for 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
1910 I'll be your attendant for the duration of this flight...forget about the lateness of the departure, the carry-on confusion and the changed seating arrangement...and the wait to get to the gate upon arrival, and forget the baggage carousel mix-up 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
1911 Would you like an upgrade to wizard class? 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
1912 Abracadabra! You have the flu! 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
1913 I’ve been making luggage disappear at this airline for years! 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
1914 No… we do not serve drinks or snacks anymore. But i do have prepared a magic trick! 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
1915 For my next trick I am going to make the food edible. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
1916 And just like that this all becomes first class.” 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
1917 For a small upgrade fee, I can make your legroom reappear. 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
1918 And voila’… there’s a rabbit flying the plane! 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
1919 How many checked bags did you have? 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
1920 Abracadabra ETA on schedule ! 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
1921 Prest-O, Change-O! All your cell phones will be one hour ahead as pass through the magical veil of MST! 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
1922 No, I’m afraid we’re unable to move you to a row with more legroom, but for a modest FAA approved fee, I can perform the same Economy Plus Illusion™️ I did for Mrs. Munson in the seat behind you. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
1923 They call me The Flying Sorcerer. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
1924 I'll make sure your luggage magically appears! 1.1970 0.04933 66 53 13 0
1925 For my next trick, an on-time landing. 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
1926 Come with me and you’ll be in a world of pure imagination…and we’ll take off on time and all eat hot meals. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
1927 If your plane gets lost, I am going to make sure your luggage arrives on time. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
1928 Today’s complimentary drink selection is whatever you wish! 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
1929 I will magically insert the metal fitting into the buckle of your seat belt. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
1930 The other airlines may have spirit, but we have magic! 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
1931 We made it through COVID 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
1932 Okay! The masks are gone! What's next? More leg room? 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
1933 Sorry for the flight delay. It's time for our song and dance program to make the time fly - maybe the plane will too. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
1934 Corporate said our customers want transparency, so I’ll be showing you how we get the plane to fly ✨ 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
1935 This is the prequel scene that didn’t air for the tv series Lost. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
1936 POOF You are now in economy seating 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
1937 Abracadabra! All connecting flights are cancelled. 1.1954 0.05626 87 75 7 5
1938 So, relax and sit back. We’ll have you in Hell in just about… what am I talking about? You’re already there. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
1939 PRESTO. Your leg room disappeared along with your luggage! 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
1940 I'm afraid the 'no amateur magician' option is for first class only" 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
1941 And just like that, I made all your reasonable flight expectations vanish. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
1942 And now I’ll make your leg room disappear.” 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
1943 I've made all your luggage disappear. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
1944 We all pretend it’s, “Science,” that makes this plane fly, but really, I just say, “Hocus Pocus,” wave the wand, and we get liftoff! Can I have a volunteer from the audience for the next part of the trick—landing the plane? 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
1945 If there is a change in cabin pressure,I will pull an oxygen mask out of my hat. Please secure your mask before assisting your child. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
1946 We know you think planes fly by magic anyways, so we figured we'd lean into it. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
1947 And presto! You are connected to in-flight wi-fi! 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
1948 Now watch as I put us back on the radar! 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
1949 Abracadabra- your legroom- POOF! 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
1950 Ta da....your pretzel packet fills you up and your seat feels roomy!" Heidi Roe, Myrtle Point, Or 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
1951 As a budgetary move, I’m the new in-flight entertainment. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
1952 Should the cabin experience sudden pressure loss, stay calm and believe in magic. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
1953 And for my next trick take a look at your leg room! 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
1954 Abracadabra you’re in First Class! 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
1955 Celine Dion’s working First Class 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
1956 With this wand I can make your reservation…disappear! 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
1957 And now for my next trick, we will actually take off without any further delays... 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
1958 Pillows,Donald? What’s the magic word? 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
1959 The items in the overhead bin have now magically shifted. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
1960 And for my next trick, watch 'customer service' vanish right in front of your eyes! 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
1961 And magically, there goes another 2 inches of leg-room. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
1962 When you wake up it will be Nov. 2024. Joe Biden is still the president and Donald Trump is still in jail. You’re welcome. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
1963 Bill was hoping his emotional support rabbit would come out of that hat at some point. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
1964 ''Abracadabra,your carry-on charge is back in your bag.'' 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
1965 ...and with a wave of my wand, all your checked bags are in a different city. 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
1966 For my first Trick...Imagine that you're "On Time..." 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
1967 And for my next trick...All children who refrain from kicking seatbacks on this flight shall receive a Toblerone! 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
1968 Honest, it's a life raft. 1.1944 0.06141 72 62 6 4
1969 No treats, just tricks. 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
1970 Presto an on time departure and two middle arm rests. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
1971 Imagine your legroom as leprechauns! 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
1972 For my next trick I will make your flight trouble free! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
1973 Before we takeoff, does anyone want an emotional support bunny? 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
1974 ...for my next trick, I will make all crying children disappear. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
1975 I would pull a rabbit out of my hat but he's busy dealing with a drunk back in coach. 1.1940 0.06464 67 58 5 4
1976 With this wand I will make your legroom disappear. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
1977 Accio Drink Cart! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
1978 And now for my magically sleep-inducing safety speech! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
1979 And for my next trick I'll have you landing on time. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
1980 Good evening. I just made the pilot disappear! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
1981 Flying at 33000 feet at 500 miles an hour we have decided that instead of life vests and oxygen masks a magic wand might be a better option. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
1982 Let's see if I can conjure up something for you to eat. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
1983 This will help distract you from your fear of flying! Enjoy the show for those who remember Blackson the magician I am not nearly as good! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
1984 And then your luggage will reappear, just like that! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
1985 Oh sure, anybody can fly a plane. But I can make those irritating people in row 10 disappear! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
1986 I will make a flight crew appear, maybe. 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
1987 With the pilot we’ve got, we’ll need a little magic 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
1988 And now for my magic trip. I will make this plane fly 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
1989 I have this great routine. It lasts several hours. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
1990 FOR MY NEXT TRICK I'LL MAKE THE SPACE IN FRONT OF YOU DISAPPEAR 1.1935 0.06438 62 53 6 3
1991 And watch closely as you connecting flight magically disappears! 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
1992 We love to fly and its shows. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
1993 And for my next trick I'll disappear all the small print to screw you out of frequent-flier mileage. 1.1935 0.06438 62 53 6 3
1994 The Engines are down 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
1995 And for my next trick I will pull a $13 tuna sandwich out of my hat! 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
1996 Just don't ask why we can't teleport you there. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
1997 Still there? Let me try again… 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
1998 Please call the Pilots union! 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
1999 And for my next trick, I will conjure up a bag of peanuts 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
2000 And now, I'm going to cut that crying baby in half. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
2001 Hi, I'm your pilot. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
2002 And just before we land, I' ll make your checked luggage disappear. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
2003 I can make your baby quiet all fly long! 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2004 And now . . . the trick of the disappearing luggage! 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2005 For my next Basic Economy trick, I will pull from this hat part of a rabbit. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2006 Now, was THAT the emergency exit you were thinking of? 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2007 Soda, snack or a magic trick perhaps? 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
2008 And now for my next trick, I'll increase your legroom by 1 inch! 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
2009 Ta Da...All the seatbelts are fastened, tray tables stored and seatbacks are forward. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
2010 And now, for my next trick, I will make this plane fly! 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
2011 On the count of three...you will enjoy this flight! 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
2012 Abracadabra, your luggage has made it onto the flight. 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
2013 "Welcome to Hocus-Pocus Airlines!" 1.1923 0.05787 78 67 7 4
2014 If you cause a ruckus you will be sprinkled with fairy dust! 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
2015 And now, I’ve made your checked baggage magically disappear! 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
2016 I was supposed to re-appear on the plane to Cleveland! 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
2017 We are delighted to entertain you when the plane is in its second hour on the runway. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2018 Close your eyes and tap your heels three times and say "There's no place like Martha's Vineyard" 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2019 Chicken, fish or rabbit? 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2020 And PRESTO! Now only you two will hear the incessant crying! 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2021 For my first trick, we will depart on time. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2022 Now, I'll make the kicking child behind you disappear. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2023 Magic is part of Flight Scheduler training. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2024 With a wave of my magic wand you will feel very sleepy and wake up happy and satisfied when we have arrived at our final destination. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2025 Prestodigitation or on time to your destination? 1.1918 0.05740 73 62 8 3
2026 And for my next trick, I will now magically devalue your frequent flyer miles. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2027 Your seat numbers tell me your departure was New York with a final destination of Chicago. Your baggage, however, is heading for Honolulu, Hawaii . . .. Just kidding! 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2028 Are you interested in our offer today, a magic Pie in the Sky? 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2029 Dude is afraid of magic 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2030 I'm going to attempt to pull a pilot out of my hat. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2031 OK, Which is the one trick I can’t guarantee.? Water into wine, Bologna into steak, or an on time landing.”Guess 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2032 And for my next trick, I will now erase your memory from the meal you just had. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2033 And for my next trick, I’ll make the pilot disappear 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
2034 I will go back to the cockpit if someone would just volunteer for my next trick! 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
2035 I'm now going to make myself disappear for the rest of the flight. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
2036 For my next trick, I will find yet another way to take $50 from your wallet. 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
2037 Oh don’t worry, the plane is on autopilot. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
2038 I will now pull an emotional support rabbit out of my hat. 1.1912 0.06375 68 59 5 4
2039 Last call for the mile-high magical experience. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
2040 Ta-dah! And for my next trick, I will disappear into the first class lavatory 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
2041 And hey Presto! You'll never see your bags again. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
2042 Now, for your in-flight entertainment... 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
2043 It likes you. You get to choose your beverage. 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
2044 Magic: this plane is pilot-less. Sherie Neufeld Surbaugh@ku.edu 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
2045 And in the event of a nosedive, magic wands will fall from the overhead compartments for any wishes you may want to make. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
2046 And now, to make more legroom fly out of my hat ... 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
2047 Who said all the magic is gone out of air travel? 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
2048 I need verbal confirmation that you are willing and able to be my assistant. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
2049 Let's close our eyes and pretend we're not connected to a long beanstalk that flies us through the air. 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
2050 And I can make it land. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
2051 Please don’t saw our plane in half. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
2052 Sorry, I can only magic water or soda outside of the first class section 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
2053 ... and now, with a wave of my wand, we'll be on time... 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
2054 Trust me, your clothes won't be at the baggage claim 1.1910 0.05507 89 77 7 5
2055 Say the magic word and you’ll be in First Class! 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2056 I will now attempt to make the pilot return. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
2057 Thus we traveled in Amtrak. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2058 In the event of a decompression, a rabbit will automatically appear in front of you. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
2059 And now, for my next trick, a flight with no drama, except mine. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
2060 ...and when I snap my fingers, you'll be at La Guardia, feeling refreshed and happy! 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
2061 For my first trick, I've made the middle seats disappear. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2062 For my next trick, I’ll upgrade everyone to first class. Just say the magic word: your credit card number. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
2063 Don’t worry folks, every magic trick keeps the wings of the plane 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
2064 I got you onboard, so you now have two more wishes. 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
2065 And for my next trick,we 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
2066 And for my next trick, I’ll make all the perks of air travel disappear. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
2067 For my next trick I will make us all fly! 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
2068 And we’re actually going to land 15 minutes early 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
2069 For my final illusion, I will return my hat to it’s locked and upright position. I hope you enjoyed our in-flight entertainment. I must get back to flying the plane. 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
2070 For my next trick I shall make your checked luggage disappear! 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
2071 Expanding leg room is not within my bag of tricks. 1.1897 0.05193 58 47 11 0
2072 Now, repeat after me, 'I will float if we land in the ocean.' 1.1897 0.05193 58 47 11 0
2073 And now, right before your eyes--although you won't personally be able to use it--legroom. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2074 I was told there would be complimentary snacks, not acts. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2075 Well, the airline did say that their flight crew was amazing. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2076 And on the count of three - the baby will be me! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2077 Next, I’ll make the seat-kicker behind you disappear! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2078 My wand’s name is Rod, you handsome devil! And look how excited he is to meet you! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2079 We’ll be levitating at 38,000 feet today. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2080 Now watch me as I make your leg room disappear. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2081 At this point in the flight, we now invite our Platinum Globalist passengers to pick a card, any card. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
2082 The bad news is the flight is delayed , the good news iiisss ......... !! 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
2083 I shall make your money disappear! 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
2084 And with a wave of my wand the Captain *should* appear in the bin above you. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
2085 Now Watch, as I make all amenities disappear. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
2086 Under your seat you’ll find a life vest…and a rabbit! 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
2087 And with a wave of my wand, your bags have been routed to Albuquerque. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
2088 And for my next trick, oxygen masks! 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
2089 In keeping with our new policy of full disclosure... 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
2090 And for my final trick, I will make this flight not delayed. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
2091 ...and next I'll make the seats disappear! 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
2092 And now, I shall make the emergency exits... reappear! 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
2093 Nothing up my sleeve—not even a little bag of peanuts.” 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
2094 This next trick is called “Does anyone here know how to land a 737?” May I have a volunteer? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
2095 Abracadabra, you will get 1 out of your 3 suitcases back upon arrival. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2096 Harry Potter did it better. 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
2097 And through my magic, we will get you to your destination safe and on time. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2098 I'm here to make your flight enjoyable. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
2099 When I say Abracadabra, your oxygen masks will drop down. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
2100 Seven inches of leg room can be magical if you choose to believe. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2101 Fillet mignon, sautéed green beans, cherries jubilee! 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2102 I always wondered how they made the foot room disappear on these planes. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2103 And I'm also the copilot! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2104 And our best workaround for delays is, as ever, performative. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2105 Abraaaaacadaaaaabra!!!! If you now look at your connecting flight you will see it has indeed.... been cancelled! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2106 If I pull this off, they'll let me perform for first class! 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
2107 And poof! Good food disappears! 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
2108 And now, I will make your leg room disappear completely. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
2109 And that's what happens in The Prestige! Up next in in-flight entertainment: Top Gun. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2110 When I snap my fingers you’ll have more legroom. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
2111 For a small extra charge I can make your food edible 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2112 And now, as we continue Economy Class's new form of in-flight entertainment...! 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
2113 Hocus pocus, abracadabra, presto chango, alakazam -- we're stuck on this plane, and I can't say for how long, due to an air-traffic jam. Thank you, you've been a great audience! Now for my next trick -- free drinks! 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
2114 Sorry about the pigeons. 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
2115 I heard someone say he is the backup for the auto-pilot system. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2116 Let's see - no food, no movies! Is flight attendant another economy?" 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2117 If you want to see my vanishing act, just press the call button. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2118 And just like that, the seatbelt sign has reappeared 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2119 And now your potato chips are blue! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2120 No i will not trade seats with you back in coach if you show me a magic trick 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
2121 And now I will make your luggage disappear! 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
2122 and Voila', the pilot disappears!! 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2123 When I wave this wand, you will forget that first class exists and that you are not there. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2124 Vaudeville returns to economy class. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2125 And for my next trick, I'll make your first meal choice DISAPPEAR! 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2126 And in order to activate you flotation device,just say our favorite magic word ... "inflation". 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2127 And if you would kindly take a peek into your wallets right now, you'll find that I've magically removed all of the airline surcharges. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2128 OK, so on-time arrival and no crying babies didn’t work. Let’s go for good food this time!” 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2129 Now what I can’t do is transport you to first class, but I can get you a pack of stale peanuts for the low low price of $3.99, your sanity, and your gut health. 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
2130 Hocus Pocus: Leg Room! 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2131 NOW can I get any volunteers? 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
2132 And now for my next trick, I'll make your luggage disappear. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2133 Now watch as I make your checked luggage disappear. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2134 And now the stewardess will magically appear in the overhead bins! 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
2135 For my next trick, I will return your seat backs and tray tables to the upright and locked position. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2136 . "Hello, I am your pilot. Captain Peter Pan..." 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
2137 Do you believe in magic? Because I just sent your bags to Toledo. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
2138 Pick your own card before assisting others. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
2139 Sorry, the magic comes later -- when our crew shows you how to use a seatbelt for what we assume is the first time in your adult life. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
2140 And now I will bring back the captain and co-pilot. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
2141 Say “ abra cadabra “ and you’ll be in first class 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
2142 When we land, presto! Luggage gone! 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
2143 For my next trick I'll your luggage disappear. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2144 Sure it can. See? 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2145 Everyone is correct, we’re going to the Magic Kingdom! 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
2146 Worry not about this flight delay. Your connections will wait. 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
2147 And, voila! No more leg room! 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
2148 And all the little children will be sent ahead to baggage claim. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
2149 Chicken, pasta, or locally sourced rabbit? 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
2150 ...and for $50 or 50,000 points you can upgrade to no-child class. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
2151 Presto! And just like that, your oversized carry-on that you knew wouldn’t fit in the overhead is in Chicago. 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
2152 And now, watch me make the carbon emissions from this portion of your trip completely disappear! 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2153 Watch me pull a rabbit out of the black box 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
2154 And for my next trick you'll all be enjoying flat-bed seats, Beef Wellington, and unlimited martinis on this one hour flight from San Francisco to Los Angeles. 1.1857 0.06203 70 61 5 4
2155 For my next trick, I will try to make your lost luggage reappear.” 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
2156 This entertainment is being provided for an additional fee. Inflight entertainment is no longer included in the ticket price. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
2157 And for my next trick, I'll make oxygen masks fall from the panel above you. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
2158 Movie royalties became too expensive. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
2159 Thirsty? I shall summon the mystical Cart of Hydration! 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
2160 Ladies and gentlemen my magic show will entertain you for the next three hours and 24 minutes, until our landing in Los Angeles! 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
2161 Next, I'll make our complementary drinks service evaporate. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
2162 I double-majored in aviation and wizardry 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
2163 Hocus Pocus - leg room disappears. Overhead bins crush your clothing. And, no more meals. This is progress. 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
2164 If he’s good, maybe our luggage will arrive with us. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
2165 Wishing on a star might get you far 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
2166 This next trick went over big in first class. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
2167 Actually, this is the talking stick. So shut up, and pay attention. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
2168 with a wave of my wand, this plane will be gone! 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
2169 Abra-ca-dabra! You'll get to your destination on time and your luggage will not be lost in London. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
2170 Here's a little trick of mine I like to call "plane boredom!" 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
2171 You are forgetting about the delay and the pink tagged bag, you are forgetting about the delay and the… 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
2172 Abra cadabra,guess where this flight is going! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
2173 Magic can happen even in the sky!! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
2174 ‘And now, for my next trick, I’m going to make all of you disappear into Finnair!’ 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
2175 Your seats will feel a foot apart. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
2176 For my next trick, I’m going to need a volunteer with flexible travel plans.” 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
2177 My next trick involves publishing a lame cartoon caption. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
2178 For my first trick, I will make us all fly! 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
2179 And now your luggage will magically reappear.! 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
2180 Our flight is on time,and it's magical! 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
2181 Do you believe in magic ? 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
2182 And now, to bring the color back into your lives... 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
2183 "Feel free to disappear from the cabin." 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
2184 Thanks to the Autopilot, I'm also into cloud appreciation and learning mandarin. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2185 More vodka? More peanuts? No problem! More legroom? Forget it! 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2186 Bear with me. I was hired by a cruise ship but it ran aground. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2187 Hello sir , would u like pigeon or rabbit as a main course 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2188 Now I’ll make leg-room…disappear! 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2189 And now, for a trick I call "Back to the Past," I'll shift your seats into more legroom, with no meals or drinks charges, while I dissolve all fees for priority seating, checked and carry-on baggage, and cancellations! 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
2190 Abracadabra! Your luggage has just disappeared! 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
2191 Hold on, what do you mean you made the oxygen masks 'disappear?' 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
2192 And for my next trick, this plane will leave on time. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2193 "I need four volunteers who I will make vanish from the airplane." 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2194 My next trick is to give you a bag of peanuts and a free glass of water! 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
2195 Yes! We do so much more than serve you food and beverages! 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2196 Coffee, tea or glee? 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2197 Or, if you prefer, you may use your flotation device. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2198 Please fasten your seatbelts for a magical ride. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2199 And now, for my next trick, I'll make the airline solvent. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
2200 Are there any other unruly passengers who would like me to make them a hamburger? 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
2201 And for the Grand finale, I will swallow this plane whole - David Blaine 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
2202 And abracadabra your luggage will make it to your destination. 1.1829 0.05522 82 71 7 4
2203 With my Magic Self, I pilot, see! 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
2204 Welcome to Hell Ride. Let's ride to Multiverse where Trump got reelected. 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
2205 Welcome, to the new-we are not your parent's Trans World Airline! 1.1829 0.05522 82 71 7 4
2206 You must believe in me because I have the miracle of making man fly. 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
2207 Welcome aboard Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. For my first trick... 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2208 And Presto! Your humanity totally disappears! 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
2209 Voila, you're legroom has disappeared!" 1.1818 0.06055 77 68 4 5
2210 And for my next trick, I will make your legroom completely disappear! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2211 The pilot is now telling me the delay is due to weather! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2212 Watch me pull a safe landing out of my hat. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2213 Welcome onboard Twinkle Airlines, I'm Captain Mandrake and will entertain you on our first auto-pilot flight, so sit back and relax. 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
2214 For my next trick, I'm going to make the romance of air travel reappear! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2215 And for my last trick, landing the plane without any working engines! 1.1818 0.04424 77 63 14 0
2216 You'll never get another chance like this. $10k and the kid disappears for good. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
2217 More leg room sir and madame? 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
2218 You may have heard that there is no magic to flying a plane... Not true! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2219 And just like that, your reservation disappears 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
2220 And the landing will be magical. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
2221 I only said I could make your bags disappear. I never said anything about making them show up again. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
2222 After take off, I will magically disappear. Good luck! 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
2223 One wave of my wand and the plane will land. 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
2224 And now the bulkhead passengers will disappear. 1.1818 0.04424 77 63 14 0
2225 Sure, I'll just conjure up overhead bin space out of thin air. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2226 And for my next trick, I will shift the position of the luggage in the overhead bins 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
2227 Fly Me to the Moon, Let Me Play Among the Stars.... 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
2228 For my next act,I will do the impossible: make your leg space disappear even more! 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
2229 Now for my next trick, I will make our luggage disappear. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
2230 And for my next trip, I shall make your in-flight meal disappear. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
2231 Your carry-on is now complimentary. 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
2232 And now Ladies and Gentlemen, your legroom will shrink and then come back as an extra charge for carry on baggage! Kaboom! 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
2233 This will be a magical trip! 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
2234 When I wave this wane you'll feel like your flying! 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
2235 We have about as high of a success rate as the TSA. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
2236 ...and then your bags will appear, on time. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2237 Our first-class passengers do not get to enjoy such first-class entertainment. 1.1806 0.06041 72 63 5 4
2238 I just made the airline's Customer Support disappear! 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2239 Maybe someone else? A rabbit couldn't keep flying the plane. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2240 Economy class magic: your midget gets an upgrade! 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
2241 Put your head between your legs.The pilot has disappeared. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2242 And for our next trick, we'll depart on time and arrive on time. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2243 Welcome back ladies and gents to Spirit airline where we make your ghostly wishes come true 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2244 And don’t forget: breathe normally! 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2245 Presto, your nuts are warm. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2246 Anyone need their peanuts opened ? 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
2247 buckle up winsockie, buckle up 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
2248 Where’s s the life jacket ? 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2249 And presto! Your frequent flier miles are gone. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2250 Welcome to Magic Airlines, where everyone gets a wake-up warlock! 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2251 I'm your on-time genie. Wish me luck. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2252 And for my next trick, I’ll send your luggage to Rabat…Oops, I mean, turn it into a rabbit! 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2253 I heard this is how #stevemartin got his start …. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
2254 Oh no…I was warned about sitting in the front row. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2255 Ladies and gentlemen, for landing your large electronic devices shall now disappear. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
2256 And if the oxygen masks drop down, I will disappear. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
2257 If the plane is engufled in water, say “Abra cadabra”. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
2258 No, on this airline we rely on the power of *magic*! 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2259 Watch me pull a nonrefundable canceled flight ticket out of my hat. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2260 Oh c'mon. This is your last chance to believe! 1.1803 0.06405 61 53 5 3
2261 Izzy-doo, izzy-dane, the rabbit’s now flying the plane! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
2262 Please take a few moments now to locate the nearest rabbit. In some cases, the nearest rabbit may be behind you. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
2263 Poof. No more masks. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
2264 I make baggage disappear! 1.1795 0.04373 78 64 14 0
2265 Next time honey,we are doing first class. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
2266 Try to punch me - I dare you ... 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
2267 And for my next trick, the child seated behind you will whine incessantly for the next 3 hours. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
2268 In the event of an emergency landing, wave the magic wand found in the seatback pocket in front of you. 1.1791 0.05987 67 58 6 3
2269 Voila! An extra two inches. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
2270 ... you can hold your applause for when we land. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2271 And for my last trick, I guarantee your luggage will be waiting for you at the airport. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2272 Presto - all your luggage just disappeared! 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2273 Watch me shrink your non existent leg room to where your legs will turn blue! 1.1791 0.04720 67 55 12 0
2274 Presto Change-O, the fares just went up” 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2275 In case of an emergency this craft will be turned into the Good Ship Lollipop. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
2276 A true magician never reveals his egress. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2277 The best way to sneak your bunny onto a plane. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
2278 And for my next trick, I’m going to put the dignity back into air travel! 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
2279 ...and now for my final trick: you have to tolerate each other for the next two hours and not punch the crew in the back of the head. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
2280 Let me entertain you, let me make you smile at 40,000 feet in the air! 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
2281 I'd kill just for the amount of leg-room provided by "saw a body in half" trick 1.1786 0.07256 56 50 2 4
2282 and for my final trick, I'm going to make the pilot disappear 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
2283 The only thing that's not magic is today's in flight credit card deal 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
2284 And for my next trick, I'll make D.B. Cooper reappear! 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
2285 And for our grand finale, reach down and pick up the card that slid down from 3 rows in front of you. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2286 Flight of the Valkyries 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2287 And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, if this works we will be taking off! 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
2288 ...and Presto, the items in the overhead bin have now shifted slightly! 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
2289 Abra Cadabra When you open your eyes you won’t remember how long your flight was delayed! 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2290 Abracadabra, it's February, 2020.... 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2291 For my next trick, I'll make your luggage disappear. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
2292 And for my next trick, I'll make oxygen masks magically appear 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
2293 Hey lady, rub my wand and I can make your partner disappear! 1.1781 0.05962 73 64 5 4
2294 Pulling legroom out of my hat was not part of the job description 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
2295 ...and...like magic...your drink cart has disappeared! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
2296 If you move an inch, scream or misbehave, I will make this plane disappear. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
2297 Abracadabra! Your flight has been re-routed through Kiyiv! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
2298 Hi guys, just saying I don't understand Virgin Atlantic commercials either. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
2299 .. and Hey Presto! Your connecting flight is cancelled! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
2300 Can I get a volunteer? A licensed pilot volunteer. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
2301 And for my next trick...even those peanuts will disappear! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
2302 Now, for my next trick, I will make a friendly flight attendant appear and serve real food. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
2303 The last guy who refused to get off disappeared. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
2304 And with just the flick of my wrist I can oxygen masks appear from the ceiling. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
2305 Abracadabra, for my first trick, I will make the baby smile for the entire plane ride! And… there is no second trick necessary! You’re welcome, folks! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
2306 Hang tight as I attempt to make the captain reappear after my scheduled break. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
2307 Peanuts,pretzels,or a rabbit? 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
2308 Well folks, we're about to crash, sooooo... I'm outta here! 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
2309 Extra legroom is free if you are sawn in half." 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
2310 Abracadabra! All of your checked luggage has disappeared! 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
2311 Shazam!! all your travel perks vanished, and prices have doubled. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
2312 And for my next trick, 9/11 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
2313 And presto! That's how you buckle a seat belt. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
2314 For my last trick, I'm going to make your luggage DISSAPPEAR! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
2315 I said I could make things fly... 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
2316 This wand could be yours for only $1299. See the catalog in your seat-back pocket to order now. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
2317 Ahhhh folks, from the cockpit, just wanted to let you know that due to budget cuts we have merged our in-flight entertainment system with our Air Marshalls, so sit back and enjoy our new air magicians. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
2318 …And then the oxygen masks will magically appear! 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
2319 And now I will make the air borne germs magically disappear! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
2320 No no. I said a master delusionist. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
2321 And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you make a bunch of annoying, guitar playing, whack job Christians disappear!” 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
2322 Anyone else want to ask me for an "upgrade?" 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
2323 Ladies and gentlemen, if you need anything, anything at all, I'll be happy to just wave my magic wand! 1.1757 0.05563 74 64 7 3
2324 Magically, all your carry on bags have fit into the overhead bins with no struggle!! You can thank me later!! 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
2325 Please keep your cell phones on and filming during takeoff, I'm trying to go viral. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
2326 For my next trick, I will raise your seats to their full and upright positions. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
2327 Who would like to volunteer their luggage for my disappearing act? 1.1757 0.05563 74 64 7 3
2328 God, I hate flying Southwest. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
2329 Abracadabra. Your legroom has disappeared. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
2330 And for a mere $8.99, I will make your air mask appear on your lap when it is needed 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
2331 In the case of an emergency landing, your seat cushion will disappear! 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
2332 And for our final feature First class will disembark first 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
2333 Abra-cadabra I have delayed your flight" 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
2334 ...and, after the free fall, I can make the plane do a series of 7 sequential somersaults! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
2335 The in-flight movie is only $15.99 but you can get free entertainment just by asking! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
2336 If your carry ons are where the wings used to be, what might we find in the overhead bins? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
2337 And with magic I will make the flight arrive on time 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
2338 When the fasten seat belt is on.... 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
2339 I don't know how to make the pilot reappear, but wait until you see what I can do with a deck of cards. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
2340 And my next trick will be landing the plane. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
2341 Would you believe the pilot’s name is Harvey? 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
2342 Not necessarily magic, but perhaps as close as we come to conjuring an in-flight meal. 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
2343 Shazam! Now look out your window. We're being diverted to Buffalo. 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
2344 And for my next trick, I'll need somebody in the audience to lend me 50,000 bonus miles... 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
2345 And for my next trick, I'll hand out customs forms and make all your writing instruments disappear! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
2346 And now, for my next trick, with a stroke of this wand I will upgrade the gentleman in the front row to first class -where no one is subjected to any B-grade magic shows. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
2347 Thank me. I just made all your masks disappear permanently … 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
2348 I'll need a volunteer. My lucky assistant will also get a $300 voucher. 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
2349 For my next trick I’m going to make soft drink service disappear. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
2350 Landing gear! 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
2351 The only magic I can’t do is to locate your lost luggage 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
2352 Close your eyes and Magically we'll be there. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
2353 Lastly, I’ll make any modicum of joy you might experience during this flight, disappear. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
2354 abracadabra your coke is now apple juice. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
2355 When you sign up you’ll earn 80,000 miles and three wishes! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
2356 Now THIS trick will stop air sickness 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
2357 Don't fret, but I seem to have disappeared the flaps." 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
2358 And for my next trick, I’ll make that child who keeps kicking your seat, fall asleep! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
2359 And your luggage disappears! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
2360 Sit back and enjoy the complimentary in-flight entertainment in coach. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2361 Anything is possible on the Hogwarts Express." 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
2362 AlaKazaam! I've made your leg- room disappear! 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
2363 *Breath of a tiger, blood of a tick, remove from these pages the tedious Gopnik!* Okay, good news, your copy of The New Yorker just got a little better. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2364 And voila - I've made all your COVID masks disappear! 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2365 ...and for my next trick, I will make your legroom, onboard meals and checked luggage disappear! 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
2366 I'm just here to distract you from the fact this plane has gone into an unrecoverable nose dive. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
2367 Enough with the jokes..I will now move onto magic. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
2368 Sorry no, your luggage will not reappear 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
2369 A magician always reveals his safety cards. 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
2370 For my next trick, can I get a volunteer for a later flight? 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
2371 Last chance for extra leg room. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2372 So before TSA arrives... 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2373 He moonlights as a pilot. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
2374 Welcome to the Magic School Bus. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2375 And soon you will all safely arrive in Never Never Land. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2376 Watch your leg room magically disappear. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
2377 And over the next four and a half hours, we'll make your will to live disappear! 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2378 Those with Pullman service will reach warp speed transport first, the rest of us can clown around in the DeMaterialized Zone 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
2379 ALAKAZAM, you now think you have more leg room.. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2380 All of that safety briefing will protect you as much as this magic wand in case of a crash. Enjoy your flight! 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2381 And with the flick of the wand your luggage will disappear for three days! 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
2382 Abracadabra! And that’s how we fit your suitcase into the overhead bin… or we’ll just gate check it. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2383 …and in the event of a water landing, simply wave the magic wand located under your seat. 1.1739 0.06179 69 61 4 4
2384 Even magic has it’s limits. Pretend you’re there already . 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
2385 And for my next trick I will make the couple in Row A disappear into thin air. 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
2386 You are sitting in the magician aisle. Do you agree to comply with my magic tricks as a form of in-flight entertainment?” 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
2387 It’s magic if your bags appear at your destination! 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
2388 You can expect an on-time arrival 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
2389 And when we land your luggage will have disappeared ! 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
2390 Everything will be just fine and please remember what I told you about your oxygen masks and life vests. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
2391 Attention Passemgers, instead of the safety demonstration, I am going to do my magic tricks. Please pay attention while I replicate how a jet is downed 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
2392 Abracadabra, now this magic wand will make you fly in the air 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
2393 I'm your magical flight attendant. I can pull peanuts out of my hat, make a crying baby disappear, and saw a rude passenger in half. 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
2394 And that's how we magically send your luggage to the other side of the globe. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
2395 Abracadabra--you're all aware of this planes safety protocols! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
2396 And do you really believe my magic wand will buckle your seatbelts for you? 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
2397 If you all even THINK of misbehaving, I'll make the captain disappear. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
2398 I'm the designated backup, in case the Bermuda Triangle malfunctions. 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
2399 And like magic, the oxygen mask will appear and we recommend you put it on or you will disappear. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
2400 Children, Ladies and Gentlemen, watch the magic show and try not to think about climate change 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2401 And just like that, your flight is invisible 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2402 For my next illusion, I’ll try out this oxygen mask 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2403 Let’s pretend we’re going somewhere. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2404 And for my next trick, I’ll attempt to make the pilot reappear! 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2405 And this is for attracting attention 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2406 For my next trick, I will land the plane with my eyes closed. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2407 Airlines resort to magic to mesmerize angry passengers. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2408 It'll be magic if you make your connection. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2409 The following day, in-flight movies were invented. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2410 Poof! Your luggage has disappeared! 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
2411 You'll find this under your seat instead of a life vest, because, why not? 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
2412 And now for the safety demonstration 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
2413 Yes, I am a figment of your imagination. 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
2414 Watch me pull an O'Hare out of my hat. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
2415 But our legroom wasn't here even before you waved you wand. 1.1719 0.06122 64 56 5 3
2416 If you're angry and aggressive, I'll make you disappear from this aircraft! 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
2417 Hey! Who wants to get sawed in half? 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
2418 First Class has now been vanished and you are free to roam the Cabin. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
2419 John Darling at your service! The Captain's name is Hook. Tink's up in first class with Wendy. 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
2420 And for my next trick, I will try to make your wallet reappear! 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
2421 If the oxygen masks don't drop, try this... 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
2422 Watch closely as I make three hours of your day disappear right before your very eyes! 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
2423 Pilots’ trick or treat, folks! They’re taking us to Singapore instead of Paris! 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
2424 And...poof! There go your free amenities! 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
2425 I'm your friendly flight attendant. Please pay close attention while I explain what happens your frequent flyer miles after January first. 1.1719 0.06514 64 57 3 4
2426 An on time departure? Sir, I'm a magician not a wizard. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
2427 Prepare to be astounded as I make your hope for arriving on time disappear! 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
2428 ...and now for another magic word - the one that caucasians aren't *allowed* to say... 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2429 Gas prices have gone up so I need to collect more money. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2430 And presto, your seatbelt is buckled! 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2431 Pay us $18,000 more, and - poof! - you'll all be in flatbeds. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2432 No cancellations, no delays and free peanuts. 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2433 And for my next trick, I'll make complimentary beverage service disappear! 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2434 Is this supposed to distract us from having to pay for water and the 3 hour delay? 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2435 I’m sorry, Sir, it’s part of our “No Tolerance” policy 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2436 Abra-ca-airborne! 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
2437 On the count of 3, the bulkhead will disappear, and you will be in first class! 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
2438 And you will magically forget all of these safety instructions in an emergency 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
2439 I can honestly do whatever I want during the pre-flight safety demonstration and no one will ever notice. 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
2440 It may not look like much but this is my Las Vegas. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
2441 And now I'll turn your nuts into smoked salmon. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
2442 Good news. We're transitioning from hand sanitizers and masks. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
2443 Finally, I will produce a single empty seat in coach. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
2444 And for my next trick, I will quietly quit before your eyes! 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
2445 In the event of an emergency, you will find the card you chose at the terminal in the under-seat compartment. 1.1698 0.06992 53 47 3 3
2446 This is a magic wand in my hand and I’m happy to see you 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
2447 And now for my next trick I will make more overhead room 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
2448 And now folks, I am going make all of your luggage disappear if it hasn't disappeared already. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
2449 Poof. You inflight meals have also disappeared. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
2450 “If the airplane loses cabin pressure, voila - oxygen masks." 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
2451 And like magic,we'll land in New York ! 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
2452 With a waive of this wand, the kid seated behind you won't kick your seat even once! 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
2453 It's called sleight of hand, not room of leg. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
2454 In the event of a water landing, a flock of doves will appear beneath your seat. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
2455 ''MAY I ENTERTAIN YOU?" 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
2456 Let us pray to God for a safe landing. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
2457 Liferabbits can be found under your seats. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
2458 So if you could all say after me, abracadabra engines please stop burning. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
2459 And for my next trick, I'm going to make all the crew disappear. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
2460 Welcome to the first class! We begin with Levitation 101. 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
2461 And now, boys and girls, for my final trick, I am doubling the cost of each ticket held by a person with at least one dental implant. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
2462 For my next trick, I’ll make the pilot disappear. 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
2463 There is no inflight service but trick or treat? 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
2464 And now the meal is edible. Just kidding. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
2465 Abracadabra! You are now at your destination, or will be when the pilot lands this plane. For my next trick, you're luggage will be there also. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
2466 For my next trick I'm going to land the plane 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
2467 Do you like our new uniforms! 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
2468 For a mere $500 surcharge, we provide VR headsets which will make it seem like you are flying First Class. From the finest wines to private sleeping cubicles, we "offer" it all. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
2469 Since you loved the trick where $50 disappeared from your wallets to pay for a second bag, I am sure you'll enjoy being hypnotized into using your credit cards for expensive snacks and drinks that were free two years ago. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
2470 Your flight is late. This is a very large thermometer. I'll leave the rest to your imagination. 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
2471 I can conjure up anything, except more leg room. 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
2472 And that's how Donald Trump was re-elected President. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
2473 ''After this number I'll go back to flying the plane.'' 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
2474 And with a simple wave of my wand, I will disable the 'call flight attendant button.' 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
2475 I wish I could turn off the inflight entertainment system. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
2476 And now for my next trick , I'm going to make everyone who flies on an airline sane again " 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
2477 “ Dream along with me, I’m on my way to the stars … “ 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
2478 I'm hoping to quit my day job. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
2479 For my next trick, I'll make your tiny bit of legroom disappear. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
2480 Let me tell you about our magical seatbelts. 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
2481 No, I can't make a complimentary soft drink and miniature bag of peanuts appear. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
2482 Voila, the magic mask! 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
2483 Give them the old razzle dazzle; razzle dazzle em 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
2484 Ever wondered what snakes on the plane eat? Watch closely. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
2485 Did someone drop a vape pen in the first class loo? 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
2486 Abracadabra! There will be no complaints! 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
2487 Can I conjure up some more leg room for you? 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
2488 And a 'wand' a two and a three. 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
2489 It is amazing all right. It' detects oversize carry-ons and automatically bills as checked luggage. 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
2490 With a wave of my wand, your bladders and bowels will remain dormant for the whole flight... 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
2491 What's the hat for? 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
2492 For my next trick I will send someone’s luggage to the correct airport. 1.1688 0.05669 77 68 5 4
2493 Abra Cadabra to First Class or a Space Ship? 1.1688 0.05359 77 67 7 3
2494 In unlikely event of a water landing, your seat cushion magically becomes a flotation device. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
2495 If she kicks you again,I can make her disappear! 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
2496 The people back in coach only get a couple of lousy card tricks. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
2497 We may never reach JFK with all this misdirection. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
2498 This is your pilot speaking! 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
2499 I'm your pilot now! 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
2500 Would you like me to saw you in half? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
2501 Watch your ETA disappear. 1.1667 0.05600 78 69 5 4
2502 Want to see me pull the pilot out of my hat? 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
2503 Say ‘abra-ka-dabra’…… or the plane crashes. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
2504 I can pull many things out of my hat, but not leg room. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
2505 Pixie dust and magic my friend! 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
2506 Now watch as I attempt to make your leg room REAPPEAR! 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
2507 And now watch as I make your luggage disappear! 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
2508 For my next trick, I need a disgruntled passenger to put on the straight jacket. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
2509 Yes. My access to the pantry can satisfy your desires for something before we reach our destination, I hope. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
2510 When I say abracadabra this enormously heavy object will take you far above the earth and remain there until I tell it to descend. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
2511 Alright everyone close your eyes, count to 3, and watch that mountain disappear! 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
2512 For my next trick I will revive the pilot 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
2513 Snacks? Once you had them, now you don’t” 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
2514 I can get you there quicker with this 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
2515 OK, who's up for a magic show in place of a nothing meal? 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
2516 Hocus presto, Thanksgiving is over and you are fifteen minutes from home. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
2517 To help keep your mind off the delays, unscheduled re-routing, lost luggage, and the fact that we ran out of snacks on the connecting flight, allow me to dazzle you with feats of prestidigitation. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2518 The magic stops, only if/when the plane itself crashes. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
2519 Dear passengers, as part of the improvement of our services, we offer you an entertainment show instead of a multimedia screen. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2520 Abraca-cancelled connection! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
2521 The pressing question is whether he can pull a landing gear out of that hat. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
2522 Next I will make your impatience disappear. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2523 Alas, not even I can make your luggage appear. 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
2524 ....and for my next trick folks, I'm going to make your trip comfortable.... 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2525 In the case of emergency, I do take Venmo, PayPal, and Apple Cash to make your oxygen masks appear out of thin air 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
2526 I grant you three wishes, none of which may address your comfort, safety, or arrival time on this flight. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
2527 And now, all your masks will vanish, and some of you will be happy. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
2528 0ne wave of this wand and the kid won’t kick 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
2529 For my next trick, watch as I make all your luggage disappear. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2530 Me’ Name’s Darby O’Gill and you “Little People” need to know that Elon only said he would get you to the moon. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
2531 And now to make your luggage appear at baggage claim 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
2532 These seats are wonderfully comfortable and the food's great. Oh? You don't believe in magic? 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
2533 And for my last trick, I'll pull a whisper of gratitude out of first class. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
2534 Now to make your overhead luggage re-appear! 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
2535 Voila - the meal is lip smacking good! 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
2536 For my next trick, you will now have to pick up your carry-on at baggage claim. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
2537 Would you like a trick or a treat? 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
2538 With a little magic, we might take off on time! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
2539 In case of emergency a magic wand will drop down; wave it around like this and say "abracadabra". 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2540 Instead of your next trick,could you get back to flying the plane? 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
2541 Abracadabra! Your dignity has disappeared! 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
2542 And now, as requested by an anonymous passenger, I'll show you how to make your partner disappear! 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
2543 For the next hour of your ground hold, can I have a volunteer from the extra legroom rows 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
2544 Then,thrillingly bumping our way through the Asteroid Belt,w 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
2545 Abracadabra You have just won an all expenses paid overnight stay at the Marriott! 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
2546 I learned the art of misdirection as a baggage handler! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
2547 And with a wave of this wand, I will make our plane levitate until we reach our destination in Denver. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
2548 Look! The plane is flying itself! 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
2549 Hi folks. You heard right. The pilot apologizes for the unexpected delay . And so, for the next four hours on the tarmac, I'm here to entertain you. Please join in if the spirit moves you. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
2550 And now, I am going to make all of you passengers disappear. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
2551 I call this next one “tricky landing” #MyNewYorkerCaption 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
2552 Actually, rows 17 through 34 bet me I couldn’t get your daughter to stop crying. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
2553 Is that a rabbit in my hat, or perhaps a cheese snack? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2554 Abracadabra, increase their legroom! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2555 Items may shift into the shape of a white rabbit during flight 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
2556 I cannot guarantee that we will arrive at destination but it will still be a fun experience! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2557 Close your eyes, you can fly! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2558 pilot:".... and this is how you fly a plane" 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
2559 And for my next trick, I'll make your luggage disappear... oh, wait. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
2560 For my first trick, I will make the pilot disappear! 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
2561 and when you wake up you will be at your destination 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
2562 For my next trick, I'll use 18,000 gallons of jet fuel to solve your marital problems, cure your mental illness, and delude you into believing your life under capitalism is fulfilling. 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
2563 Shazam ,you have more legroom. 1.1644 0.05522 73 64 6 3
2564 And now, I will conjure up a special bonus miles credit card offer that's only good on today's flight! 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
2565 And just like that I made COVID disappear. 1.1644 0.05522 73 64 6 3
2566 And for my next magic trick, I 'll try to make the plane arrive on time. 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
2567 Finally the moment you’ve been desperately begging for. Here’s where the emergency exit doors are. 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
2568 I wave my magic wand and PRESTO! The flight isn't cancelled and the landing gear stays on. 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
2569 And now, abracadabra, all crying babies disappear with your luggage 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
2570 23 Ski Dooski 1.1644 0.05522 73 64 6 3
2571 Who farted? 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
2572 And with a flick of my wand, the cabin will lose pressure and the oxygen masks will magically appear. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
2573 My magic will ensure your safety from your fellow passenger rage. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2574 And for my next trick, you get a free bag of nuts 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2575 And for my neatest trick: a delicious home-cooked meal! 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2576 ...and now for my next trick, you have leg room. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2577 Behold,as I trick the captain into staying awake! 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2578 In the unlikely event of loss of cabin pressure, oxygen makes will magically appear! 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2579 And with this trick, I will vanish your children for the duration of the flight. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2580 Watch while I make 3” of legroom magically disappear! 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2581 What we never see right before those unruly passenger videos… the annoying in-flight magician. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2582 Presto! Your leg room has disappeared. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2583 Can I get you some more leg room? 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2584 Can you believe I was performing in the airport lounge an hour ago? And they say consumers don't benefit from understaffing. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2585 Watch me while I make two more inches from your seat pitch disappear! 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2586 And for my next trick, I'll actually get you some food. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2587 It's your lucky day, today I'll be escaping from a crashing airplane for your entertainment! 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2588 With a few magic words and the wave of this wand, you will instantly be hypnotized to believe you are flying first class. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2589 Well, how about YOU come up with a better idea for people to pay attention to the pre-flight safety demonstration? 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2590 The rabbit is in the hole,and we are cleated for take off. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
2591 and for my next trick, i'll make your luggage disappear 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
2592 And if you had looked out the right side of the plane a few seconds ago, you would have seen the rabbit reappear! 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
2593 Abracadabra and the pilot materializes. Hmm, wait, wait; let me try again. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
2594 And now you'll think you're in your happy place 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
2595 And just like that the overhead bins are full. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
2596 And now, I want all of you to stop worrying that this li'l ol' plane is gonna drop right out of the sky and plunge into the sea and drown us all. 1.1639 0.06264 61 54 4 3
2597 And just like that: the covid stank is a lavender waft. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
2598 I just disappeared the pilot! 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
2599 It’s in the company’s best interest to pretend that we lost your luggage intentionally. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
2600 Abracadabra! Soon either chicken or beef dinner will appear, and if you preordered vegetarian, it will be that. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
2601 How does the plane stay in the air? By magic! 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
2602 And if someone would just sign up for a credit card, I can stop doing this. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
2603 Were flying over Bermuda, but don't worry- I will be the only one making things disappear 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
2604 No, first class passengers are NOT required to watch my magic show. Why do you ask? 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
2605 ….and when I say, ‘Open Sesame,’ I predict you’ll feel a sudden rush of air. 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
2606 For my next trick, I'll make this plane... disappear! 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
2607 Now watch as I make your elbow room disappear 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
2608 Abracadabra! Now you see 800 passengers in a plane designed for 300! 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
2609 A Board K Bla Bla, your safety talk has disappeared 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
2610 Ta-da! And STILL no leg room. 1.1636 0.06749 55 49 3 3
2611 Thank you for flying with us and have a wanderful day. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
2612 Where we're going, we don't need roads. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
2613 ...and now, for those of you attending a wedding later today, I will make your luggage disappear 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
2614 Now that I have your undivided attention, let me practice my set for the Catskills. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
2615 In first class we offer distraction from an imminent crash! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
2616 Voila! No more emotional support bunny in first class. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
2617 Yes, I'm a real magician, and don't call me "Shirley." 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
2618 And now I will conclusively prove that 95% of people put oversized bags into the overhead bins. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
2619 I found this stuff in First Class! 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
2620 Do not worry, the co-pilot has everything under control 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
2621 We’ll arrive on time and the gate will be open. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
2622 We pride ourselves on making your luggage disappear! 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
2623 And finally in case of a real emerge wpI will makr myself disappear 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
2624 The airline charges a fee if you want me to make your luggage reappear. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
2625 I can even make your luggage disappear from 30,000 feet 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
2626 In preparation for landing, I will be coming through the cabin to hex anybody whose seatback is not in the upright position. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
2627 Now you see this exit, now you don’t 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
2628 And presto, we’ve made even more legroom disappear! 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
2629 Fasten your seatbelts little boy, we are now on the way to Fantasy Island! 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
2630 And after these magic words and a flick of my wand.. your wallets will open! 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
2631 The airline doesn’t have GPS, but not to worry. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
2632 And now for the trick of the disappearing leg room! 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
2633 Who said our flight to Reno couldn’t be fun, huh? 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
2634 Who says we don’t appreciate our economy class members? 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
2635 In the event of a cabin emergency, I will disappear! 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
2636 Puff. It’s okay for everyone to fart. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
2637 And, for my next trick, I’m going to make this thing FLY! 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
2638 And for my next trick, with the help of the baby in 13A, I'll be making your patience disappear! 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
2639 It takes a magician to close these things. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
2640 Malvo the Supreme? No, I'm Tarmac, the No One's Enjoying This Delay Either So Quit Your Bitching. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
2641 And POOF! Your leg space has disappeared! 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
2642 Comedy went out with leg room...... 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
2643 Voilà, all locals will be courteous during your stay in Paris. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
2644 No, your suitcases haven't disappeared. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
2645 And for my next trick, your luggage will magically disappear! 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
2646 And now I will make your suitcases reappear in Minneapolis. 1.1613 0.06168 62 55 4 3
2647 For my next trick, I'll make your chatty seat-mate disappear 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
2648 If we magically arrive on time, I accept tens and twenties. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
2649 And, voila, the free meal is gone but your bags miraculously show up at the terminal. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
2650 In financial news, No Frills Airline raises cash by introducing a new charge for passengers who wish to forgo its otherwise compulsory onboard entertainment. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
2651 For my next trick, I'll saw someone's leg run in half. 1.1609 0.05137 87 77 6 4
2652 Presto three-day-old instant coffee! 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
2653 And for my next trick, I will actually create a REAL meal. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
2654 The floatation vests never really worked, so the airline has turned to a sure thing in case of emergency. 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
2655 And for my next trick I will be landing this plane in the Hudson River. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
2656 One of the benefits of unionizing is a free subscription to MasterClass. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
2657 I'm here to tell you your luggage is somewhere else because of my "magic act." 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
2658 Sign up for our rewards credit card or I'll turn you all into frogs 1.1607 0.05569