Contest #821


Cartoon

821

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “You shoulda heard the mockingbirds this morning.”
  2. “He looks ten years less endangered.”
  3. “It’ll fly off when he does.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2022-10-02T17:19:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2022-10-16T17:20:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2022-10-10T17:20:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued October 17, 2022
Number of captions 5283
Number of responses 736497
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 You shoulda heard the mocking birds this morning. 1.8625 0.01210 4539 1864 1435 1240
1 The ego has landed. 1.8355 0.01127 5448 2406 1532 1509
2 He does this every time National Geographic shows up. 1.8161 0.01368 3361 1423 1133 805
3 Ed’s single again, eh? 1.7756 0.01532 2545 1109 898 538
4 Witness protection. 1.7501 0.01440 2873 1304 983 586
5 First it was tail feather extensions and now this. 1.7345 0.01496 2595 1189 906 500
6 You're the one that kept playing Elvis songs while he was in the egg. 1.7341 0.01810 1798 832 612 354
7 Aren't we supposed to be bald? Like isn't that the whole point? 1.7250 0.01645 2142 996 739 407
8 Bet you can’t guess which President changed the national symbol to the comb-over eagle. 1.7209 0.01725 2107 1036 623 448
9 Ed doesn't get it — 'bald' is our brand. 1.7196 0.01699 2026 956 682 388
10 Ten bucks says he voted for Trump. 1.7178 0.01887 1825 923 494 408
11 Ever since the pink flamingo moved in downstairs. 1.7172 0.01335 3158 1469 1116 573
12 I know we're endangered, but at this point he just looks desperate. 1.7139 0.01693 2069 994 673 402
13 That’s a bold eagle. 1.7135 0.01674 2119 1019 688 412
14 You know it's bad when the national bird is in denial! 1.7130 0.02112 1366 668 422 276
15 Make America bald again. 1.7110 0.01576 2526 1263 730 533
16 It’s only worn for mating season and then becomes part of the nest. 1.7057 0.01880 1604 760 556 288
17 And you wonder why we're endangered. 1.7032 0.01479 2611 1248 890 473
18 Probably overcompensating for a small nest. 1.7011 0.01422 2907 1418 940 549
19 Pretend you don't notice it. It drives him crazy! 1.6986 0.01624 2130 1016 740 374
20 Wind. Wait for it.” 1.6976 0.01702 2090 1044 634 412
21 He looks ten years stupider. 1.6952 0.01460 2877 1454 846 577
22 His old flock is having a reunion. 1.6926 0.01473 2586 1245 891 450
23 He always flies south to Graceland. 1.6920 0.02056 1328 640 457 231
24 Wigged eagle doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, does it? 1.6839 0.01804 1737 852 582 303
25 Just flew in from Memphis. 1.6815 0.01477 2531 1230 877 424
26 He heard that bald eagles are endangered. 1.6732 0.01500 2482 1231 831 420
27 Wait til he takes off and the rug doesn't. 1.6725 0.01679 2073 1056 640 377
28 He’s having a mid-flight crisis. 1.6688 0.01461 2485 1207 894 384
29 Just give it one windy day. 1.6677 0.01650 1980 972 694 314
30 A toupee? It will never fly! 1.6651 0.01491 2535 1281 822 432
31 If that catches on, we'll be endangered all over again. 1.6648 0.01739 1829 915 612 302
32 He migrated through Memphis. 1.6640 0.01651 2009 1001 682 326
33 He says he's just an "eagle" now. 1.6619 0.01615 2079 1034 714 331
34 He also paints his talons. 1.6575 0.01486 2482 1250 832 400
35 Yeah, and he also just bought a Corvette. 1.6556 0.01631 2070 1046 689 335
36 Am I sure? Are you kidding? I can literally spot a toupee from a mile away. 1.6535 0.01903 1495 753 507 235
37 I hear he's running for office. 1.6515 0.01814 1647 833 555 259
38 Act like you don’t notice. 1.6486 0.01928 1366 671 504 191
39 He's got great vision, but no awareness. 1.6405 0.01984 1402 729 448 225
40 And he's getting a Porsche. 1.6404 0.01908 1538 806 479 253
41 Don’t be cruel. 1.6383 0.02352 1023 541 311 171
42 It looks great now, but it's a hot mess when he goes fishing. 1.6356 0.02168 1125 577 381 167
43 His ex left him for a black crowned night heron. Let him have this. 1.6281 0.01795 1632 845 549 238
44 And besides that,he got implants to lengthen his wingspan. 1.6242 0.02299 1059 570 317 172
45 You should see what it looks like when he’s flying. 1.6147 0.01913 1404 738 472 194
46 Last mating season, he had a mohawk.” 1.6145 0.01845 1660 912 476 272
47 He calls it a Mo' Hawk. 1.6107 0.01971 1369 734 434 201
48 I still hate him, but now I also hate his hair. 1.5993 0.02102 1178 637 376 165
49 Elvis has just left the nest 1.5957 0.02195 1076 584 343 149
50 You tell him. Most chicks dig bald. 1.5921 0.02124 1319 771 315 233
51 More like bird of spray... 1.5893 0.02336 1008 569 284 155
52 Should we tell him it's just a word, not a condition? 1.5874 0.02407 904 500 277 127
53 Duane's never come to terms with being a Bald Eagle." 1.5870 0.02068 1264 710 366 188
54 He looks ten years less endangered. 1.5865 0.02277 1098 633 286 179
55 He uses every part of the rodent. 1.5819 0.02327 1124 675 244 205
56 Yeesh. For this we struggled back from the brink of extinction? 1.5811 0.02695 709 393 220 96
57 We aren’t actually bald. 1.5785 0.02397 911 511 273 127
58 Quite a wig span. 1.5721 0.02297 1019 585 285 149
59 Wait—we're allowed to grow it out ? 1.5683 0.02609 820 482 210 128
60 You see husband material, I see nest material. 1.5642 0.02596 904 558 182 164
61 Just wait till he takes flight, we’re called bald eagles for a reason. 1.5638 0.02553 878 526 209 143
62 O.K., let's just go extinct. 1.5615 0.02666 723 421 201 101
63 Oh that? He ditches it after mating season. 1.5607 0.02449 881 511 246 124
64 Sometimes bald is better. 1.5585 0.02533 829 484 227 118
65 Obviously, he’s planning a flight to Memphis. 1.5562 0.02448 836 477 253 106
66 Don't yell, he's declassifying documents 1.5504 0.02651 794 480 191 123
67 He also had a beak job. 1.5447 0.02659 683 391 212 80
68 Just be grateful it isn't orange. 1.5431 0.02709 766 470 176 120
69 He's just compensating for those tiny little talons of his. 1.5411 0.02782 682 408 179 95
70 Identifies as 'Eagle' now 1.5407 0.02701 701 414 195 92
71 I thought the pompadour was extinct. 1.5394 0.02971 673 426 131 116
72 It's just Eagle now. 1.5390 0.02857 705 440 150 115
73 mating season 1.5370 0.02665 676 391 207 78
74 Should we tell him it's on backwards? 1.5359 0.02777 696 423 173 100
75 I took half a day off work, we hired a babysitter, you had your feathers highlighted and we flew 3 hours to get here and your not even going to ask him for his autograph? 1.5355 0.02809 676 410 170 96
76 He recently became an empty nester. 1.5348 0.02829 632 375 176 81
77 He says he wants to date younger chicks... 1.5314 0.02939 621 380 152 89
78 Is it me or does Bob seem a lot more confident lately? 1.5304 0.02732 626 362 196 68
79 Wait till the mockingbird sees that. 1.5292 0.02877 616 370 166 80
80 If this catches on, we'll go extinct. 1.5266 0.02973 564 337 157 70
81 He looked better bald. 1.5266 0.02823 621 370 175 76
82 Hey, it’s Avis Presley! 1.5260 0.03224 481 288 133 60
83 You're his father. You talk to him! 1.5232 0.02890 583 347 167 69
84 He thinks it makes his beak look smaller. 1.5211 0.02905 616 378 155 83
85 I'd rather be endangered. 1.5211 0.02844 593 352 173 68
86 Yeah, and I’m a mockingbird. 1.5202 0.03263 494 305 121 68
87 He says he can catch prey just by thinking about it. 1.5195 0.03188 564 362 111 91
88 You get one and I'm moving out of the nest. 1.5163 0.03220 490 300 127 63
89 Those aren't his feathers either.” 1.5152 0.03089 625 411 106 108
90 You'd understand if you saw the size of his nest. 1.5094 0.03064 477 281 149 47
91 I'd rather be a Bald Eagle than a Mid-Life Crisis Eagle. 1.5084 0.03186 537 343 115 79
92 I'm pretty sure it's a toupee. 1.5058 0.03122 516 320 131 65
93 Kind of dilutes our brand, don’t you think? 1.5051 0.03133 489 298 135 56
94 You scream liberty. He screams Liberace. 1.5041 0.03331 486 311 105 70
95 To be fair, he does suffer from Owlopecia. 1.5034 0.03259 447 272 125 50
96 Next, he’ll be having his beak done. 1.5033 0.03066 451 263 149 39
97 Actually it’s working out really well . All the mice and squirrels see him coming but are laughing so hard they forget to run. We’re eating like royalty. 1.5010 0.03215 491 308 120 63
98 Just don't refer to it as a bird's nest. 1.5000 0.03264 460 285 120 55
99 This is what a national identity crisis looks like." 1.4990 0.03021 505 306 146 53
100 I understand he just bought a Corvette too. 1.4990 0.03179 485 301 126 58
101 One one hand he’s no longer the national bird, on the other hand the chicks totally dig him. 1.4979 0.03117 466 281 138 47
102 I'm telling you, it's a rug 1.4974 0.03537 384 237 103 44
103 He's the president of Hair Club for Birds. 1.4960 0.03546 377 232 103 42
104 It’ll fly off when he does. 1.4960 0.03291 496 321 104 71
105 He's going by just "eagle" now. 1.4957 0.03290 466 294 113 59
106 Why does he keep saying “thank you very much?” 1.4954 0.03217 434 262 129 43
107 What’s next, a beak lift? 1.4944 0.03171 449 272 132 45
108 And all this time I thought he was gathering it to build a nest. 1.4941 0.03499 427 274 95 58
109 I never felt bald until now. 1.4921 0.03233 443 272 124 47
110 He hasn't been the same since he saw 'Elvis.' 1.4918 0.03317 425 262 117 46
111 Oh I’ll admit it makes him a chick magnet but it hurts our brand. 1.4913 0.03293 460 291 112 57
112 He calls it a mid-flight crisis. 1.4911 0.03238 448 277 122 49
113 He’s not only our national symbol, he knows all of Elvis’ songs. 1.4901 0.03186 455 280 127 48
114 Being called a ‘toupee eagle’ just isn’t as majestic 1.4895 0.03432 382 233 111 38
115 You know what's really endangered? Common sense. 1.4886 0.03537 395 250 97 48
116 Oh, him? Says it's species rebranding. He calls the look 'bold' eagle. 1.4867 0.03351 452 290 104 58
117 Like we all don't know he's bald. 1.4867 0.03362 450 289 103 58
118 He's just compensating for a small wingspan. 1.4864 0.03321 403 246 118 39
119 It's just disrespectful: we're bald eagles for a reason. 1.4863 0.03386 438 280 103 55
120 Being bald never bothered me before, but now- 1.4862 0.03183 434 264 129 41
121 And the worst part is, now he thinks he can sing. 1.4834 0.03466 422 272 96 54
122 I dare you to snatch it. 1.4824 0.03462 398 251 102 45
123 He didn't like being a bald eagle. 1.4822 0.03488 394 249 100 45
124 Yeah, it looks good now. Wait until he has to fly! 1.4817 0.03243 438 273 119 46
125 He's flying incognito. 1.4813 0.03159 401 238 133 30
126 Not even Darwin could have anticipated a combover. 1.4795 0.03476 390 246 101 43
127 Oh look who suddenly thinks he’s not endangered. 1.4794 0.03353 388 238 114 36
128 Yeah, but the chicks love it. 1.4792 0.03405 432 279 99 54
129 You'd think a symbol of an entire nation would be more self-confident. 1.4784 0.03448 370 228 107 35
130 What's next? A beak job 1.4779 0.03631 362 230 91 41
131 From two miles away, you can't even tell. 1.4770 0.03248 434 272 117 45
132 He's part of a flock that flew in from Mar a Lago. 1.4768 0.03548 409 268 87 54
133 I thought our whole thing was being bald 1.4767 0.03671 386 254 80 52
134 He just flew in from Graceland. 1.4759 0.03524 374 236 98 40
135 Yeah, it’s a bit much, but sometimes you just want to run your talons through it. 1.4724 0.03566 362 229 95 38
136 He just can't accept being a bald eagle 1.4717 0.03606 371 239 89 43
137 Well, it's either fake or evolution has rounded a corner. 1.4706 0.03561 391 255 88 48
138 Looking at it helps me regurgitate food for the chicks." 1.4694 0.03831 360 241 69 50
139 Actually that's my mother. She's auditioning for a role as a partridge in a pear tree. 1.4681 0.03677 329 207 90 32
140 Let’s see what happens to it when he actually tries to fly. 1.4668 0.03522 377 242 94 41
141 Pretend not to notice. It really drives him crazy. 1.4665 0.03354 403 256 106 41
142 He does know we're aren't really bald, right? 1.4663 0.03498 356 223 100 33
143 I talked him out of the orange one. 1.4657 0.03867 335 221 72 42
144 Everyone knows it's a toupee. I mean, we're bald eagles. 1.4656 0.03601 393 261 81 51
145 He doesn't identify as 'bald.' 1.4656 0.03594 378 247 86 45
146 There's still a bald spot. 1.4652 0.03255 417 263 114 40
147 Please, I know a bald eagle when I see one. 1.4644 0.03690 351 228 83 40
148 I’ve seen better weaves in a bird’s nest. 1.4643 0.03765 336 218 80 38
149 What part of "bald" does he not get? 1.4624 0.03883 346 233 66 47
150 Look who wants to be on the cover of National Geographic. 1.4624 0.03636 372 245 82 45
151 He's dating a chick half his age, too. 1.4615 0.03858 325 213 74 38
152 You don't need eagle eyes to spot that toupée. 1.4613 0.03764 336 219 79 38
153 He does a really good rendition of “Love Me Tender”… 1.4609 0.03552 345 218 95 32
154 Now women are flocking to him. 1.4599 0.03804 387 269 58 60
155 He just got back from Elvis convention. 1.4597 0.03748 335 218 80 37
156 That combover won't fly. 1.4595 0.03589 370 242 86 42
157 He told me that if the former President can, why can't he. 1.4591 0.03818 318 206 78 34
158 He summered at Graceland. 1.4586 0.03541 362 233 92 37
159 Did you notice his small claws? 1.4573 0.03879 328 218 70 40
160 It also comes in orange. 1.4572 0.03965 339 232 59 48
161 My guess? Mid-flight crisis. 1.4571 0.03433 326 199 105 22
162 He ain’t never caught a rabbit and he ain’t no friend of mine! 1.4565 0.04064 333 231 52 50
163 But underneath it all, he has the brain of a bird. 1.4559 0.03636 340 219 87 34
164 Now he doesn't identify as a bald eagle. 1.4555 0.03375 393 253 101 39
165 He's compensating for a small beak. 1.4551 0.03667 345 225 83 37
166 Turns out he really was bald. 1.4550 0.03512 378 247 90 41
167 He says it's natural selection. I say it's a rug." 1.4545 0.03675 341 222 83 36
168 He says it makes him look Presidential. 1.4537 0.03764 324 211 79 34
169 Just more proof that an apex predator can be a total moron. 1.4530 0.03752 351 235 73 43
170 He's flying to Vegas for the Winter 1.4522 0.03691 356 237 77 42
171 But can he sing? 1.4518 0.03572 332 211 92 29
172 Rogaine evidently works. 1.4513 0.03654 308 194 89 25
173 You're the one who wanted to nest in Memphis. 1.4512 0.03680 328 212 84 32
174 The cover-up is always worse than the crime. 1.4507 0.03971 304 202 67 35
175 Sure, he looks younger, but he’s still no good in the nest. 1.4502 0.03931 311 207 68 36
176 Obviously he’s having a mid-flight crisis. 1.4492 0.03906 305 201 71 33
177 Now he only hunts for mousse 1.4492 0.04095 305 208 57 40
178 Let’s see if it holds when he takes off 1.4484 0.03688 339 223 80 36
179 It's times like these that I wish I didn't have such good eyesight. 1.4470 0.03877 302 198 73 31
180 I prefer to go endangered gracefully. 1.4470 0.03877 302 198 73 31
181 Pompadourus vulgaris, if I’m not mistaken. 1.4468 0.04014 282 185 68 29
182 He Just Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." 1.4465 0.03916 318 214 66 38
183 He loses a few feathers, and now this. 1.4462 0.03857 316 210 71 35
184 This all started after he met that chickadee. 1.4455 0.03731 312 202 81 29
185 He's never been more confident. 1.4452 0.03844 283 181 78 24
186 What happened in Vegas should have stayed in Vegas. 1.4448 0.03957 308 207 65 36
187 It really would look better as a nest. 1.4444 0.03761 324 214 76 34
188 Something tells me we’re migrating to Nevada this year. 1.4437 0.03818 302 197 76 29
189 He's not just a client. He's also the president. 1.4432 0.04270 273 186 53 34
190 At least he stopped wearing the jumpsuit. 1.4431 0.03675 325 212 82 31
191 As if we weren't endangered enough. 1.4422 0.04223 251 165 61 25
192 He just never was the same after his brother made the cover of National Geographic. 1.4405 0.03737 311 203 79 29
193 If his hair was blond, he could run for President 1.4399 0.04268 291 204 46 41
194 He snatched it off of Howard Cosell years ago. 1.4389 0.03836 303 200 73 30
195 Now, don’t be cruel. 1.4384 0.04028 292 197 62 33
196 It all started when he saw himself on the dollar. 1.4381 0.03591 315 202 88 25
197 Don't laugh. The last bird that looked that, won the presidency. 1.4356 0.04082 303 210 54 39
198 What annoys me is how he just assumes we'll sing back-up. 1.4354 0.03919 294 196 68 30
199 Since when does the symbol of American have a comb-over? 1.4349 0.03938 292 195 67 30
200 Who does he think he’s kidding? He’s as bald as the rest of us. 1.4343 0.04061 297 204 57 36
201 If you think THAT's bad, wait until you hear him sing 'Heartbreak Hotel'. 1.4342 0.04018 281 188 64 29
202 It's all because of his not so long wingspan. 1.4340 0.04067 288 196 59 33
203 It's weird. The more he preys on migratory birds the more he reminds me of DeSantis. 1.4334 0.04269 293 208 43 42
204 You have to be kidding; you can't tell? 1.4324 0.04265 259 176 54 29
205 Ridiculous! It is in our DNA! We are BALD eagles . 1.4315 0.04054 292 200 58 34
206 He’s gone incognito – too embarrassed to be the symbol of American democracy at a time like this. 1.4311 0.04209 283 197 50 36
207 He's the State Bird of Nevada. 1.4307 0.03958 274 181 68 25
208 He flew over the cuckoo’s nest 1.4307 0.04123 274 186 58 30
209 Turned 40. 1.4306 0.04005 288 195 62 31
210 We're bald eagles; he just needs to accept it. 1.4297 0.04075 263 175 63 25
211 He hasn’t been the same since he flew in from Graceland 1.4295 0.03847 319 218 65 36
212 He’s a bird of a different feather. 1.4291 0.04190 268 183 55 30
213 I hate those ribald eagles. 1.4291 0.03776 296 195 75 26
214 He wants us to call him "Elvis". 1.4286 0.03696 315 209 77 29
215 It doesn't matter: he is still bald. 1.4286 0.03961 280 187 66 27
216 And there's a jet black Camaro in the driveway, too. 1.4280 0.03918 271 178 70 23
217 He’s a bald ego. 1.4274 0.04365 248 170 50 28
218 It's tough to be single at his age. 1.4272 0.03662 302 197 81 24
219 Elaine...stop it! You are mated-for-life to me! 1.4271 0.04003 288 196 61 31
220 He got tired of being referred to as bald. 1.4263 0.03608 312 204 83 25
221 That's never gonna fly. 1.4259 0.04065 270 182 61 27
222 I hear his wife left him 1.4259 0.03892 270 177 71 22
223 That’s not going to fly. 1.4250 0.03991 280 189 63 28
224 He's trying out for America's Got Talons. 1.4235 0.04012 255 168 66 21
225 I told him Bald Eagles are endangered. 1.4226 0.04221 265 183 52 30
226 He says it's symbolic of the national mood - not accepting reality. 1.4224 0.04085 277 190 57 30
227 I can't wait for the bird watchers to try and classify him now. 1.4224 0.03955 277 186 65 26
228 I hear he's dating a Chickadee half his age too. 1.4222 0.04229 270 188 50 32
229 It’s a high price toupée. 1.4216 0.03882 306 210 63 33
230 He migrates to Graceland every spring. 1.4214 0.03988 280 190 62 28
231 That’s not all—he wants a beak job too. 1.4214 0.03988 280 190 62 28
232 Don't say anything. He thinks nobody notices. 1.4212 0.04096 273 187 57 29
233 If he'd done that in the 1700s, the wild turkey would have been a shoo-in. 1.4212 0.04063 273 186 59 28
234 Go ahead and talk to him; wise men say only fowls rush in! 1.4209 0.03976 278 188 63 27
235 When I told him I liked his hair, he said: Thank you...thank you very much." 1.4208 0.04293 259 180 49 30
236 ...and we're all suppose to pretend we don't notice. 1.4208 0.04115 259 175 59 25
237 It's not easy being his wingman. 1.4206 0.04043 252 167 64 21
238 ...not to mention the blue suede talons. 1.4203 0.04030 276 188 60 28
239 Until now I never thought of us as bald eagles. 1.4202 0.04174 257 175 56 26
240 Talk about a flying carpet! 1.4198 0.04186 262 180 54 28
241 The whole “bald eagle” trope was getting to him. 1.4195 0.03926 236 151 71 14
242 Now he’s back on the endangered list. 1.4181 0.03742 299 200 73 26
243 I've regurgitated better rugs than that. 1.4180 0.04524 244 173 40 31
244 I don’t think it’s the right look for the stamp. 1.4180 0.04147 256 174 57 25
245 Crapping on Elvis' limo was the highlight of his life. 1.4175 0.04820 206 144 38 24
246 After he grabbed it off of Trump's head, he had it dyed black and has worn it every day since. 1.4174 0.04386 218 146 53 19
247 He's been like that since he came back from his migration to Vegas. 1.4173 0.04244 254 175 52 27
248 Quite frankly, I think it dilutes our brand. 1.4160 0.04179 250 170 56 24
249 I heard that now he wants to get his beak fixed! 1.4157 0.04082 255 172 60 23
250 I call it 'the Big Lie.' 1.4155 0.04465 219 149 49 21
251 Shall I snatch it off his head, or would you like to do it? 1.4155 0.03782 284 189 72 23
252 Apparently he doesn't identify as Bald anymore. 1.4154 0.03951 260 173 66 21
253 More like a fauxhawk. 1.4142 0.03939 268 180 65 23
254 He says it makes him look more presidential. 1.4139 0.04331 244 169 49 26
255 The rare toupee eagle. 1.4138 0.03977 261 175 64 22
256 The real question is, how does he hold the comb? 1.4133 0.04422 225 154 49 22
257 … and that Porsche is leased. 1.4132 0.04237 242 165 54 23
258 Look, a ducktail on a bald eagle 1.4132 0.04029 242 160 64 18
259 Golden Eagle, my Aunt Fanny! He's as bald as you and me. 1.4129 0.04052 264 180 59 25
260 Obviously, he doesn't believe bald is beautiful! 1.4126 0.04032 269 184 59 26
261 He also got a really bad tattoo. 1.4125 0.04131 257 176 56 25
262 Plus, he just leased a Porsche and is dating a titmouse at least 15 years his junior! 1.4124 0.03945 274 186 63 25
263 No matter what he tries, he’s still a bald eagle. 1.4124 0.04012 274 188 59 27
264 How did you spend your covid-relief money? 1.4120 0.04396 233 161 48 24
265 Looks great, sure, but his aerodynamics are shot to hell. 1.4113 0.04380 231 159 49 23
266 It's a feather-over. He's bald just like the rest of us. 1.4103 0.04054 273 189 56 28
267 It’s mating season. 1.4101 0.03835 278 187 68 23
268 He doesn't think bald is beautiful. 1.4094 0.03973 254 170 64 20
269 I spotted that thing from a mile away! 1.4093 0.03905 237 154 69 14
270 He's saying it's real but wait till he dive bombs his next meal. 1.4089 0.03587 313 210 78 25
271 Somehow, "great toupeed eagle" just doesn't have the same ring to it. 1.4086 0.03957 279 192 60 27
272 He used to be a free bird and now he ain't nothin' but a hound dog. 1.4085 0.04407 235 164 46 25
273 Believe me, The rug doesn't match the feathers. 1.4084 0.04070 262 180 57 25
274 When we grew up being a “Bald Eagle” was a source of pride! 1.4083 0.04379 240 168 46 26
275 ...and I am just supposed to act like he wasn't bald yesterday?!? 1.4080 0.04173 250 172 54 24
276 He heard someone call him a bald eagle. 1.4078 0.04076 255 174 58 23
277 And yet people still voted for him! 1.4077 0.04392 233 162 47 24
278 The weird thing is, it’s real. 1.4077 0.04307 233 160 51 22
279 Now he's a symbol of American Insecurity. 1.4075 0.04176 265 186 50 29
280 Wearing it makes him feel like a bold eagle. 1.4074 0.04054 243 163 61 19
281 A few birders point their cameras and he thinks he’s a celebrity. 1.4071 0.04009 280 195 56 29
282 Well, someone's not going to be lonesome tonight!" 1.4065 0.03977 246 164 64 18
283 His grandma was a quail. 1.4060 0.04197 266 188 48 30
284 I think he's seeing somebody. 1.4057 0.04284 244 170 49 25
285 Pretend you don't see anything. It'll drive him crazy. 1.4053 0.04431 227 158 46 23
286 I'm all shook up. 1.4052 0.04094 269 188 53 28
287 It helps him pick up chicks. 1.4052 0.04529 232 165 40 27
288 He only wears it during the mating season. 1.4050 0.04021 242 162 62 18
289 Is that a rug, or is it evolution? 1.4037 0.03979 270 186 59 25
290 I heard he’s going to run for President. 1.4036 0.03927 275 189 61 25
291 Sure, he looks great, but he never flies anymore. 1.4036 0.04350 223 153 50 20
292 I just don’t understand our son’s latest phase, Hank - today he ate nothing but a hound dog. 1.4034 0.04153 238 162 56 20
293 He goes by "the not-so-bald eagle." 1.4032 0.03938 253 170 64 19
294 Guess someone’s having a mid-flight crisis. 1.4031 0.03726 258 169 74 15
295 He's a bold eagle. 1.4025 0.04157 241 165 55 21
296 I think it makes him look rapterous! 1.4023 0.04134 256 178 53 25
297 Just watch what happens when he dives for food. 1.4023 0.03985 266 183 59 24
298 Nobody notices his fake beak anymore. 1.4022 0.03915 276 190 61 25
299 Doesn't change the fact that he still eats carrion like the rest of us. 1.4010 0.04846 192 135 37 20
300 He only wears it to mess with the birders. 1.4008 0.04203 247 172 51 24
301 I wouldn’t wear one either, but he does look ten years younger. 1.4000 0.03934 225 147 66 12
302 Did he lose weight? 1.4000 0.04087 250 172 56 22
303 The only thing endangered is his fashion sense. 1.4000 0.03940 245 164 64 17
304 One look at him and you feel a whole lot better about bald. 1.3991 0.04299 233 162 49 22
305 Well, that didn't stay in Vegas. 1.3984 0.04190 251 176 50 25
306 There’s something different about Eugene since he got back from Las Vegas. 1.3982 0.04116 226 152 58 16
307 He's been this way since he migrated to Graceland last winter. 1.3977 0.04021 259 179 57 23
308 And his Tinder profile says he's 6' 2". 1.3973 0.04376 224 156 47 21
309 Don't let the comb-over fool you. That's a bald EGO. 1.3968 0.04176 252 177 50 25
310 You laugh, but he's a chick magnet. 1.3966 0.04201 237 164 52 21
311 First the comb over. Next he'll be saying the election was stolen.., 1.3966 0.04529 237 172 36 29
312 He is compensating for the size of his beak. 1.3962 0.04045 260 181 55 24
313 Looks like the hawks made another bald joke. 1.3960 0.04200 250 176 49 25
314 You make one nature documentary and then you go full Hollywood. I mean, really. 1.3957 0.04064 230 155 59 16
315 Elvis is in the treehouse! 1.3957 0.04335 230 161 47 22
316 He's moving to Vegas. 1.3956 0.03729 273 184 70 19
317 And, he bought a convertible. 1.3955 0.03886 268 184 62 22
318 He claims it's a mutation. 1.3955 0.04288 220 151 51 18
319 I fuckin’ hate that guy. 1.3950 0.04906 200 145 31 24
320 He’s one of those trophy husbands. 1.3945 0.04315 218 150 50 18
321 How does it not fly off? 1.3943 0.03965 246 167 61 18
322 You know who should be endangered? His stylist. 1.3943 0.04169 246 172 51 23
323 Gary doesn't identify as a Bald Eagle. 1.3941 0.04430 203 139 48 16
324 Would you explain to him we’re called Bald Eagles for a reason? 1.3941 0.04697 203 144 38 21
325 When he flies now, his wings aren’t the only thing that flaps.” 1.3932 0.04437 206 142 47 17
326 He thought he saw a "National Geographic" camera near his nest. 1.3930 0.04302 229 160 48 21
327 Well at least he's trying to do something about it! 1.3929 0.04363 196 132 51 13
328 He heard they are recasting the Presidential Seal. 1.3929 0.04278 224 155 50 19
329 I told him I would never date another bald eagle. 1.3927 0.04200 219 149 54 16
330 Aren’t we bald eagles? 1.3926 0.04037 270 191 52 27
331 I can't criticize him. He's a protected species. 1.3926 0.03833 242 161 67 14
332 I hear they can transplant it right from your tailfeathers now 1.3925 0.04648 186 128 43 15
333 Does he not understand what it means to be a Bald Eagle? 1.3924 0.04197 237 165 51 21
334 This is why we should change our name to "Bold Eagles." 1.3923 0.04391 209 144 48 17
335 Now that’s a hunk a hunk of Burning Dove 1.3923 0.04646 209 149 38 22
336 He's not my son, he's OUR son. And who the hell is this "Elvis"? 1.3922 0.04626 204 144 40 20
337 He says he wants to make this tree great again. 1.3920 0.04118 250 175 52 23
338 He was put into a protection program. 1.3907 0.04403 215 150 46 19
339 Locks for flocks? 1.3902 0.04172 205 137 56 12
340 Toupee, wig, comb-over - at least he's not BALD! 1.3897 0.04330 213 147 49 17
341 You should hear him sing "Love Me Tender." 1.3894 0.04584 208 150 36 22
342 Whatever happened to “Bald is beautiful”? 1.3894 0.04293 226 158 48 20
343 'He's running for Congress.' 1.3892 0.04718 167 113 43 11
344 Clear case of Bird Brain" 1.3889 0.04337 216 150 48 18
345 First, the Eagles cover band, now he thinks he Elvis? 1.3886 0.04409 211 147 46 18
346 New species" my ass 1.3886 0.04510 211 149 42 20
347 Ever since he got it,he thinks he thinks he’s Liberace. 1.3881 0.04577 219 158 37 24
348 Wait 'till you see his blue suede talons. 1.3876 0.04385 209 145 47 17
349 Well, it's better than the orange one. 1.3875 0.04318 240 172 43 25
350 I’m totally stealing that for my nest. 1.3865 0.04252 207 141 52 14
351 It’s amazing what you can do with a slug! 1.3865 0.04622 207 148 38 21
352 He needs something to set himself apart on Tinder. Everybody poses holding a fish. 1.3864 0.04758 176 122 40 14
353 If that catches on, no way we stay on the silver dollar. 1.3860 0.04591 215 155 37 23
354 He’s Hair Force One. 1.3857 0.04522 210 149 41 20
355 i think he looked better with a mohawk 1.3855 0.04239 249 179 44 26
356 As if that will make him any less endangered. 1.3854 0.04049 205 136 59 10
357 Rogaine eagle 1.3853 0.04401 218 154 44 20
358 I thought the same thing until he sang " Blue Suede Shoes"' 1.3853 0.04103 218 148 56 14
359 It’s Elvis Birdsley. He is alive. 1.3850 0.04379 226 161 43 22
360 Well, from behind he looks like a turkey. 1.3846 0.04552 208 148 40 20
361 Yeah, but what's more American than an Elvis impersonator? 1.3846 0.04094 234 162 54 18
362 I know we're not "bald," but he took it to heart. 1.3843 0.04424 229 165 40 24
363 I don’t have the heart to tell him it’s a merkin. 1.3838 0.04826 198 144 32 22
364 He hasn't been the same since he flew into that window. 1.3837 0.04089 245 172 52 21
365 Being a Bald Eagle got to him after a while. 1.3836 0.04163 232 162 51 19
366 I told him I saw David Attenborough a couple miles away. 1.3830 0.04412 188 128 48 12
367 He is going incognito with the new species protection program. 1.3826 0.04187 230 161 50 19
368 Well Franklin finally got his wish: Our national bird is a turkey. 1.3825 0.04508 217 156 39 22
369 Well that clinches it. He’s a bald eagle. 1.3825 0.04460 217 155 41 21
370 He really thinks no one will notice. 1.3822 0.04252 225 158 48 19
371 I bet he’s also taking those little blue seeds. 1.3820 0.04781 178 125 38 15
372 Does *he* know that we *all* know? 1.3814 0.04441 215 153 42 20
373 This is clearly just about bald shaming. 1.3812 0.04463 223 161 39 23
374 At least it's not orange. 1.3810 0.04362 210 147 46 17
375 Apparently he thinks it will be easier for him to get younger chicks. 1.3805 0.04190 226 158 50 18
376 Look who thinks he is going to be on the new dollar bill! 1.3805 0.04143 226 157 52 17
377 It’s not Elvis, it’s Hairy Styles. 1.3803 0.04178 234 165 49 20
378 I heard he had a mid-flight crisis... 1.3801 0.05256 171 126 25 20
379 To think chicks fall for that! 1.3799 0.04242 229 162 47 20
380 He's been having an identity crisis. Last week he was watching me like a hawk. 1.3797 0.04096 237 166 52 19
381 What's next. Botox? 1.3791 0.04499 211 151 40 20
382 Tacky? Yes. But beats that pathetic comb-over he had before. 1.3785 0.04244 251 183 41 27
383 And he wonders why he's only meeting cockatoos. 1.3778 0.04993 180 131 30 19
384 He thinks “ bald eagle “ is a stereotype . 1.3776 0.04220 196 133 52 11
385 Next, it's the red sports car and the Viagra. 1.3775 0.04555 204 146 39 19
386 Like he's not bald. 1.3775 0.04502 204 145 41 18
387 A haired-brain idea if I ever saw one. 1.3770 0.04228 191 129 52 10
388 He thinks it will improve his chances in the next election. 1.3767 0.04457 223 162 38 23
389 He said he wants to make eagles great again. 1.3764 0.04839 178 127 35 16
390 He thinks it makes him look less endangered. 1.3757 0.04255 189 128 51 10
391 Elvis has left the nest. 1.3756 0.04500 197 139 42 16
392 Different species. We're Haliaeetus leucocephalus. He's Haliaeetus trumpus. 1.3756 0.04430 205 145 43 17
393 It looks great but flying and swimming are out. 1.3756 0.04430 205 145 43 17
394 You call it a feather in his cap. I call it a comb over. 1.3750 0.04908 184 134 31 19
395 Just hope he doesn't start Tweeting again. 1.3750 0.04827 168 118 37 13
396 He's going to make us great again. 1.3750 0.04917 160 112 36 12
397 He says he got the idea from some former American president. 1.3750 0.04531 184 128 43 13
398 Yeah but does the carpet match the drapes? 1.3744 0.04689 211 156 31 24
399 It'll never fly. 1.3744 0.04349 203 142 46 15
400 I still think bald is beautiful. 1.3743 0.04408 179 122 47 10
401 It’s not enough he’s an apex predator. He thinks he’s the King 1.3737 0.04554 190 134 41 15
402 Personally, I think bald is a plus. 1.3736 0.04496 182 126 44 12
403 Wait till you hear him sing. 1.3732 0.04260 209 146 48 15
404 He agreed to not get the orange model 1.3731 0.04433 201 142 43 16
405 And he's been crapping on sports cars. 1.3730 0.04639 185 131 39 15
406 Hey mom, what's with dad? 1.3725 0.04549 204 147 38 19
407 Elvis has entered the tree. 1.3724 0.04454 196 138 43 15
408 toupee or not toupee?... that, my feathered friend, is the question. 1.3723 0.04523 188 132 42 14
409 I'm just saying he 'looks' like Ron DeSantis. 1.3722 0.04794 180 129 35 16
410 He was tired of the bald jokes. 1.3722 0.04313 223 160 43 20
411 I heard he had a beak job too. 1.3721 0.04954 172 124 32 16
412 That's nothing ... wait till you see his Blue Suede Shoes ... 1.3721 0.04279 215 152 46 17
413 He found it outside a chapel in Las Vegas. 1.3719 0.04406 199 140 44 15
414 It's good. I didn't notice it until you pointed it out. 1.3718 0.05081 156 111 32 13
415 Yeah, his wife migrated with a younger bird. 1.3717 0.04473 191 134 43 14
416 He's got an audition later on. 1.3714 0.04297 210 148 46 16
417 I heard he dropped the “bald” and goes only by “eagle” now 1.3713 0.04525 202 145 39 18
418 He spent our entire nest egg on that ridiculous toupee. 1.3711 0.05012 159 113 33 13
419 I don't like how we are evolving. 1.3710 0.04046 221 153 54 14
420 He says the chicks love it. 1.3710 0.04681 186 133 37 16
421 You know he's seeing a cockatoo since the divorce? 1.3709 0.04201 213 149 49 15
422 He says he doesn't identify as a "bald eagle." 1.3687 0.04178 198 136 51 11
423 He's auditioning for the Flying Elvises. 1.3687 0.04643 198 144 35 19
424 I had never heard of Hair Club for Birds either. 1.3684 0.04999 152 107 34 11
425 At least it's better than his Beatles phase. 1.3679 0.04367 212 152 42 18
426 I just don't want to be flying behind him if he gets going too fast. 1.3679 0.04367 212 152 42 18
427 ...I want a divorce 1.3676 0.04379 204 145 43 16
428 Does anyone know when he started thinking he was Liberace? 1.3676 0.04434 204 146 41 17
429 He's auditioning tomorrow for the new quarter. 1.3676 0.04437 185 129 44 12
430 I could tell it was fake from two miles away. 1.3673 0.04562 196 141 38 17
431 I could spot that thing from a mile away. 1.3665 0.04403 191 134 44 13
432 It’s called a cocka-toupee. 1.3663 0.04352 202 143 44 15
433 Rogaine Eagle just doesn’t sound right. 1.3660 0.05143 153 110 30 13
434 I hate to admit it, but he's really pulling it off. 1.3659 0.04416 205 147 41 17
435 Looks like another mid-flight crisis. 1.3655 0.04485 197 141 40 16
436 It's just a preen-over. 1.3649 0.04325 211 151 43 17
437 Next week, an earring. 1.3648 0.05310 159 118 24 17
438 It’s the goddamned comb-over that ruffles my feathers … 1.3645 0.04043 203 139 54 10
439 Did he ask you for a comb, too? 1.3642 0.05012 162 117 31 14
440 You should see all the documents he's hoarding in the nest. 1.3641 0.04953 184 137 27 20
441 He just never caught on that Bald is beautiful! 1.3641 0.04137 217 153 49 15
442 There goes the presidential seal. 1.3636 0.04148 220 156 48 16
443 He has no choice—he’s mascot for a car dealer. 1.3636 0.04771 154 107 38 9
444 It’s part of our name for crying out loud 1.3632 0.04530 201 146 37 18
445 I said he looks like Elvis and it ruffled his feathers! 1.3631 0.04667 179 128 37 14
446 Trump supporter. 1.3631 0.04881 168 121 33 14
447 He’s going to get himself shot. 1.3631 0.05025 168 123 29 16
448 I don't want to be behind him in the V when that thing flies off. 1.3628 0.04415 215 157 38 20
449 We’ll know it’s more than a fad if it shows up on U.S. currency. 1.3627 0.04487 193 138 40 15
450 I'm sayin' he sounds just like him. Wait'll ya hear 'Jailhouse Flock' 1.3622 0.04494 185 131 41 13
451 He said he just wants to identify as "eagle." 1.3620 0.05061 163 119 29 15
452 In my day you'd mate for life and let yourself go. 1.3618 0.04332 199 141 44 14
453 Elvis Shmelvis, I still think he looks more like Liberace! 1.3613 0.04638 191 139 35 17
454 My cousin is from Nashville. 1.3611 0.04398 216 158 38 20
455 He just flew in from Vegas. One night only. 1.3608 0.04468 194 139 40 15
456 He gets it done the same place as Donald Trump. 1.3604 0.04758 197 147 29 21
457 Feather transplants would have looked better. 1.3602 0.04342 186 130 45 11
458 I told him to fetch some hare. 1.3600 0.04873 175 128 31 16
459 I know he looks ridiculous, mom, but he's rich. 1.3600 0.04667 175 125 37 13
460 Not the hare I asked for. 1.3600 0.04873 175 128 31 16
461 If this catches on, we really will be extinct. 1.3598 0.04487 189 135 40 14
462 He doesn’t even know it’s called a ducktail. 1.3598 0.05035 164 120 29 15
463 Apparently, the Elvis has landed. 1.3596 0.04326 203 145 43 15
464 I’m just saying, he’s got a lot of nerve still identifying as Bald. 1.3596 0.04679 178 128 36 14
465 He's in witness protection. 1.3590 0.04566 195 142 36 17
466 His motto is 'live free and dye'. 1.3586 0.04161 198 138 49 11
467 I just can’t figure out how he puts it on in the mornings… 1.3585 0.04990 159 115 31 13
468 Isn’t that a toucan toupee? 1.3584 0.04912 173 127 30 16
469 The toupee is for his Tinder profile pic 1.3582 0.04411 201 145 40 16
470 He's got a crush on a cockatoo. 1.3582 0.04467 201 146 38 17
471 He thinks it will attract prey. 1.3580 0.05226 162 121 24 17
472 He's just fucking with the bird watchers. 1.3580 0.04645 176 126 37 13
473 He’s from Jersey. 1.3575 0.04658 179 129 36 14
474 He totally misunderstands the glory of being a Bald Eagle!! 1.3575 0.04264 207 148 44 15
475 I can't define 'metrosexual,' but I know one when I see one. 1.3571 0.04847 154 109 35 10
476 The once endangered toupée is making a comeback.” 1.3568 0.04549 185 133 38 14
477 Apparently, he got the idea whilst flying over an Elton John concert … 1.3567 0.04514 171 120 41 10
478 I'll bet it's not real feathers. 1.3564 0.04304 188 132 45 11
479 You don't need an eagle eye to spot that. 1.3562 0.04551 160 111 41 8
480 I don't think a toupee makes you look more patriotic. 1.3558 0.04137 208 147 48 13
481 Fake feathers or fake news, who cares? 1.3556 0.04430 180 127 42 11
482 He's polling well among fledglings and elderly widows, but low among those who mate for life. 1.3548 0.04593 186 135 36 15
483 Should we tell him its' hereditary baldness? 1.3545 0.04478 189 136 39 14
484 At least it isn't a tattoo." 1.3544 0.04758 158 112 36 10
485 We already sent back the sports car. Then I wake up to this. 1.3544 0.04274 206 148 43 15
486 He's biologically a bald eagle, but he identifies as nonbald. 1.3539 0.04670 178 129 35 14
487 He wears it to pick up chicks. 1.3538 0.04132 195 136 49 10
488 He’s had it with being a bald eagle. 1.3538 0.04499 195 142 37 16
489 Empty nester. 1.3538 0.04241 212 153 43 16
490 His wife left him for a cockatoo. 1.3537 0.04998 147 105 32 10
491 Guess who's no longer on the endangered list. 1.3536 0.04340 181 127 44 10
492 I don't mind the toupee so much, but if I have to listen to him sing "Viva Las Vegas" one more time I 'm outta here. 1.3536 0.04547 181 130 38 13
493 Everywhere we go, all you hear is: "You're bald, you're bald." That toupee makes him look like the guy who sells pillows. 1.3535 0.04450 198 144 38 16
494 He's trying to remain relevant. 1.3533 0.04735 167 120 35 12
495 Believe me, it’s not a thinking cap! 1.3533 0.04292 184 129 45 10
496 The triumph of vanity over aerodynamics. 1.3533 0.04561 184 133 37 14
497 Did Jerry lose weight? 1.3526 0.04833 173 127 31 15
498 My uncle did that before he flew off with a sparrow. 1.3526 0.04691 173 125 35 13
499 Apparently, comb-overs are required for patriotism now. 1.3523 0.04564 176 126 38 12
500 Welcome to Trump wildlife sanctuary. 1.3522 0.05058 159 117 28 14
501 I heard he's getting a nose job next 1.3520 0.04362 196 141 41 14
502 Hey, I'm supportive, but I did suggest he avoids those Mockingbirds! 1.3520 0.04715 179 131 33 15
503 You know, I used to look like that. 1.3514 0.05061 148 107 30 11
504 Don’t be so judgmental Harold; I remember your Mohawk phase! 1.3511 0.04552 188 137 36 15
505 I liked the dreadlocks better. 1.3508 0.04797 191 144 27 20
506 We may be bald, but I don't think "Pompadour Eagle" has the same ring to it. 1.3506 0.04669 174 126 35 13
507 Don’t say anything. 1.3506 0.04669 174 126 35 13
508 It started when she left him for the cockatoo. 1.3506 0.04597 174 125 37 12
509 He likes it, but I think it makes him look predatory. 1.3503 0.05020 157 115 29 13
510 Just say it looks nice. He just got dumped by Louise. 1.3503 0.04399 177 125 42 10
511 Someone should tell him you can spot that rug from two miles away. 1.3500 0.04558 180 130 37 13
512 Talk about endangered species. 1.3497 0.04730 163 117 35 11
513 Uncle Vincenzo just arrived from the old country 1.3497 0.05040 163 121 27 15
514 He said it was about making eagles great again. 1.3497 0.04887 163 119 31 13
515 He wants to be in the next David Attenborough documentary. 1.3497 0.04682 143 99 38 6
516 He's the Liberace of songbirds. 1.3495 0.04265 206 149 42 15
517 This caption contest is for the birds. 1.3495 0.04830 186 140 27 19
518 Oh great, now we are going to be called the Toupee Eagle. 1.3494 0.04899 166 122 30 14
519 He said he is "looking to be less of a national symbol and more of a sex symbol." 1.3493 0.04917 146 104 33 9
520 Midlife Crisis. 1.3491 0.04688 169 122 35 12
521 I mean,you gotta admit, "Pompadour" Eagle is a lot more impressive. 1.3488 0.04846 172 127 30 15
522 It's as real as he believes it to be. 1.3486 0.04716 175 128 33 14
523 Bet he can't curl his lip. 1.3481 0.04659 158 112 37 9
524 he wants to be referred to as ‘eagle’ 1.3478 0.04616 184 135 34 15
525 Dramatic combover, at least it's not orange. 1.3476 0.04563 187 137 35 15
526 The chicks love it. 1.3476 0.04236 187 132 45 10
527 I told you he wasn't dead. 1.3475 0.05419 141 105 23 13
528 Is this guy trying to make toupees great again? 1.3473 0.04568 167 119 38 10
529 Wait till you hear him sing “Burning Love.” I wanted to throw my tail feathers at him. 1.3473 0.04799 167 122 32 13
530 How does he expect to soar like an eagle with that thing on his head? 1.3473 0.04647 167 120 36 11
531 He's dating a younger eagle. 1.3471 0.04356 170 119 43 8
532 He's not fooling anyone. Everyone knows eagles don't sing. 1.3469 0.04231 196 140 44 12
533 Which one? Elvis or Liberace? 1.3469 0.05431 147 111 21 15
534 Yep, he flew south to Graceland. 1.3468 0.04535 173 124 38 11
535 Don't stare. He's having a midlife crisis. 1.3468 0.04752 173 127 32 14
536 I knew it would go to his head. 1.3464 0.04430 179 128 40 11
537 He’s a bird of hairs prey 1.3462 0.05429 130 95 25 10
538 He's dating a red-headed woodpecker. 1.3462 0.04380 182 130 41 11
539 I mean, do I look like I’m lonesome tonight? 1.3457 0.04742 162 117 34 11
540 And I heard he was out with a fledgling last night. 1.3457 0.04822 162 118 32 12
541 And it’s not even mating season. 1.3455 0.04682 165 119 35 11
542 O.K., but if he starts tweeting, then I'm saying something. 1.3452 0.04700 168 122 34 12
543 I hear he's dating a turkey 1.3452 0.04700 168 122 34 12
544 It’s for the chickadees. 1.3452 0.04624 168 121 36 11
545 Ernie is going to his 25th class reunion. 1.3451 0.05101 142 103 29 10
546 So you know, Elvis lives; think reincarnation. 1.3450 0.04567 171 123 37 11
547 Sad to see the youth turn their back on our heritage. 1.3446 0.04532 177 128 37 12
548 He no longer identifies as "Bald." 1.3444 0.05236 151 113 24 14
549 He's headlining an Elvis tribute show. 1.3443 0.04496 183 133 37 13
550 If it were orange I’d be impressed. 1.3443 0.04627 183 135 33 15
551 Do birds even have a pelvis? 1.3442 0.05078 154 114 27 13
552 There goes our mating season. 1.3438 0.05370 128 93 26 9
553 Can you believe his insurance covered that? 1.3438 0.04860 160 117 31 12
554 No, he actually is bald. 1.3434 0.04195 198 142 44 12
555 I used to only worry about ruffling his feathers! 1.3434 0.04316 198 144 40 14
556 "Can you believe I almost raised an egg with him?" 1.3434 0.04736 166 121 33 12
557 Like no one can tell. 1.3434 0.04658 166 120 35 11
558 Mom?! Will I inherit dad's hairline?! 1.3432 0.04825 169 125 30 14
559 Looks like the Rogaine has feathered in. 1.3432 0.04200 169 117 46 6
560 He's thinking of running for office... 1.3432 0.04897 169 126 28 15
561 He knows we can tell, right? 1.3430 0.04470 172 123 39 10
562 And yesterday I saw a spotless owl! 1.3430 0.04835 172 128 29 15
563 It just won't fly. 1.3429 0.04418 175 125 40 10
564 Mr Not-So-Bald-Eagle looks more like a loon if you ask me. 1.3427 0.04873 143 102 33 8
565 He still can't hide that bald patch. 1.3425 0.04389 181 130 40 11
566 That’s some identity crisis. 1.3422 0.04016 187 130 50 7
567 And he even sounds more like Goulet. 1.3421 0.04439 190 139 37 14
568 I hear he used to be a bald eagle. 1.3421 0.04376 190 138 39 13
569 Wow, I didn't see that coming! 1.3418 0.04732 158 114 34 10
570 It's called 'The Trump'. 1.3416 0.04993 161 120 27 14
571 You should see his new sports car. 1.3416 0.04914 161 119 29 13
572 Bad Toupee Eagle doesn’t have the same ring to it. 1.3415 0.04926 164 122 28 14
573 It's for his dating profile on hatch.com. 1.3415 0.04772 164 120 32 12
574 Don't say anything. He thinks it looks real. 1.3412 0.04501 170 122 38 10
575 I told you he wasn't extinct! 1.3412 0.04501 170 122 38 10
576 He doesn't want to represent the country anymore. 1.3410 0.04949 173 131 25 17
577 See,I told you,Elvis lives. 1.3407 0.04831 182 138 26 18
578 He heard that most movie actors wear a piece. 1.3407 0.04369 182 131 40 11
579 I know I'm not being PC when I say that I hope that look becomes extinct 1.3404 0.05214 141 104 26 11
580 He's been an insufferable dick ever since he joined the Hair Club for Eagles. 1.3402 0.04609 194 146 30 18
581 He's rebounding from a divorce with a real harpy. 1.3397 0.04769 156 113 33 10
582 It’s his right to pursue happiness. 1.3397 0.04939 156 115 29 12
583 Ever since his White House gig he's been obsessed with the look. 1.3396 0.04535 159 113 38 8
584 Of course I still prefer you, Phil. I don’t care at all about Jeff’s lustrous, magnificent hair. 1.3395 0.04809 162 119 31 12
585 He's never been comfortable with the whole 'bald eagle' thing. 1.3394 0.04669 165 120 34 11
586 I don't know who Brian thinks he's kidding. I may be bald, but I'm not blind. 1.3394 0.04508 165 118 38 9
587 Next thing you know, he'll snatch a MAGA hat. 1.3392 0.04704 171 126 32 13
588 No Gladys, it's not real. I supposed you believed the mate-for-life line as well. 1.3391 0.04718 174 129 31 14
589 He's a big hit in Vegas 1.3390 0.04729 177 132 30 15
590 Well, I guess we know who our lead singer is. 1.3390 0.04302 177 126 42 9
591 I know -- but it's still kinda hot, right? 1.3389 0.04255 180 128 43 9
592 Ever since he's become an evangelist he's taken himself a little too seriously. 1.3385 0.04641 192 145 29 18
593 Ever wonder why he's single? 1.3385 0.04413 195 144 36 15
594 Well, it looks like a dead rat, cuz it is a dead rat. 1.3381 0.05456 139 105 21 13
595 Apparently some men in wigs want to form a nation and make him their symbol. 1.3377 0.04396 151 105 41 5
596 Doesn't he realize we're not actually bald? 1.3377 0.04534 154 109 38 7
597 Doesn’t he realize that ‘bald’ is just a figure of speech? 1.3376 0.04829 157 115 31 11
598 He never liked being called bald. 1.3375 0.04598 160 115 36 9
599 You know John... He's always been an individualist. 1.3373 0.04588 169 123 35 11
600 He just got tired of being called Bald. 1.3372 0.04458 172 124 38 10
601 Swipe left. 1.3371 0.04967 175 134 23 18
602 Whatever - it's a free country. 1.3371 0.04428 178 129 38 11
603 He refuses to buy into the "bald is beautiful" trope. 1.3370 0.04378 181 131 39 11
604 He just wasn't happy as a bald eagle. 1.3356 0.04982 146 107 29 10
605 I've never seen a haired eagle before 1.3355 0.04662 152 109 35 8
606 He ain't nuthin' but a song bird, chirpin' all the time. 1.3355 0.04935 152 112 29 11
607 Plumage Club for Men. 1.3355 0.04662 152 109 35 8
608 One summer in the Catskills and this is what Murray comes back with! 1.3355 0.04781 155 113 32 10
609 We shouldn’t have let him watch the Liberace movie they showed in the park. 1.3354 0.04632 158 114 35 9
610 First it was the red convertible, then the 19 year old girlfriend. Now this. 1.3354 0.04822 161 119 30 12
611 It happened after we stopped at Graceland. 1.3354 0.04600 164 119 35 10
612 He's never accepted the fact that he's a Bald Eagle. 1.3353 0.04776 167 124 30 13
613 Ah yes, the majestic 'Hair Piece Eagle'. Has a real ring to it... 1.3352 0.04531 176 129 35 12
614 That doesn’t seem natural. 1.3351 0.04329 188 137 39 12
615 …… as if nobody knows….. 1.3351 0.04646 188 142 29 17
616 I hope he's on the endangered list. 1.3351 0.04593 191 144 30 17
617 I guess it's a mid-extinction crisis. 1.3333 0.04706 174 130 30 14
618 He can't stand how old he looks on the quarter. 1.3333 0.04656 165 121 33 11
619 He’s been eating down stream from the Rogaine factory. 1.3333 0.04693 159 116 33 10
620 He's always had trouble identifying as a bald eagle 1.3333 0.04521 168 122 36 10
621 He went to Florida last winter. 1.3333 0.05021 159 120 25 14
622 In his former life he was a jailbird, he says. 1.3333 0.05043 135 98 29 8
623 When his wife sees it, there will be hell toupee ! 1.3333 0.04826 168 126 28 14
624 He's had a comb over ever since he saw that human Trump on TV. 1.3333 0.04755 156 114 32 10
625 Some birds like Elvis… I prefer the Eagles 1.3333 0.05962 123 95 15 13
626 Don't worry, Congress will never get it together to change the Great Seal. 1.3333 0.04792 141 101 33 7
627 He's not handling the divorce well 1.3333 0.04578 156 112 36 8
628 That comb over is just for the birds... 1.3333 0.05030 162 123 24 15
629 I heard they’re plugs 1.3333 0.04152 186 133 44 9
630 No matter how many wigs he wears, he's still a bald eagle. 1.3333 0.05079 153 115 25 13
631 Why can't Elvis impersonators just stay in Vegas? 1.3315 0.04366 181 132 38 11
632 Anyway, it’s better than the comb-over… 1.3315 0.04270 178 128 41 9
633 Nope. Doesn’t do it for me. You? 1.3314 0.04445 172 125 37 10
634 That’s just a bad rug. He’s bald like the rest of us. 1.3314 0.04801 169 127 28 14
635 His bigger problem is he is afraid to fly. 1.3313 0.04691 163 120 32 11
636 Sheryl got the kids... 1.3313 0.04994 160 121 25 14
637 Technically, is he still a bald eagle? 1.3313 0.04752 160 118 31 11
638 The chicks like the way he gyrates his tail feathers. 1.3312 0.04880 154 114 29 11
639 'Let's watch when he flies away if it stays on his head" 1.3311 0.04948 151 112 28 11
640 Wait 'till he sings 'Hound Dog." 1.3311 0.04948 151 112 28 11
641 Someone told him he was a bald eagle. 1.3311 0.04735 148 107 33 8
642 He can swim in it, too! 1.3310 0.04996 145 107 28 10
643 He's just a hunka hunka birdie love! 1.3309 0.04938 139 101 30 8
644 Is it too late to ask for pronouns? 1.3309 0.05043 139 102 28 9
645 Honestly, that should be ill-eagle! 1.3309 0.05429 136 103 21 12
646 They've decided they are non-binary. 1.3308 0.05281 130 96 25 9
647 Some species like being threatened. 1.3308 0.04809 130 92 33 5
648 He looked better last week as a blond. 1.3295 0.04573 173 128 33 12
649 my mom always said the curly bird gets the perm 1.3295 0.04646 173 129 31 13
650 No, no. He's still a bald eagle. 1.3293 0.04530 167 122 35 10
651 He watched all 2 hours and 40 mins of the Elvis movie on HBOMax 1.3293 0.04586 164 120 34 10
652 He did say there’d be hell toupee. 1.3293 0.04824 164 123 28 13
653 There’s no way I’m going to be his wingman. 1.3293 0.04586 164 120 34 10
654 And he had the nerve to say that it's natural 1.3292 0.04727 161 119 31 11
655 He flew into Celia Smook’s clothesline, wound up with her panties on his head, and now he thinks he’s Elvis. 1.3292 0.04808 161 120 29 12
656 I heard it was an early-bird special. 1.3292 0.04474 161 116 37 8
657 Rebranding. 1.3292 0.04560 161 117 35 9
658 Did you seriously just ask me if I think that looks real? 1.3292 0.05121 161 124 21 16
659 A new wig on a twig!!! 1.3291 0.04617 158 115 34 9
660 I saw him first, Margaret. 1.3291 0.04704 158 116 32 10
661 This is what a mid eagle crisis looks like! 1.3290 0.05187 155 119 21 15
662 They are putting him on the new quarter 1.3290 0.04587 155 112 35 8
663 Remember, Honey, tell my dad that his hair looks natural. 1.3289 0.04455 152 108 38 6
664 Being a national symbol was too much pressure. 1.3289 0.04646 152 110 34 8
665 He was never comfortable being a “bald” eagle 1.3289 0.04410 149 105 39 5
666 Mid-flight crisis. 1.3289 0.04897 149 110 29 10
667 Probably climate change. 1.3289 0.05168 149 113 23 13
668 Don't worry, he'll never get elected. 1.3289 0.04989 149 111 27 11
669 He says it makes him feel presidential. I just think it makes him look like a reality TV celebrity. 1.3289 0.05424 149 116 17 16
670 He flies with one wing, holds on with the other. 1.3286 0.05114 140 104 26 10
671 He has started a movement he calls MEGA, Make Eagles Great Again. I don't think it will fly. 1.3284 0.05165 134 99 26 9
672 The right wing hides his orange one. 1.3283 0.04794 198 156 19 23
673 I think he's upset because I assured him I wouldn't be lonesome tonight. 1.3278 0.04445 180 133 35 12
674 It's a little late for that, don't you think? We're already stuck with the name. 1.3277 0.04637 177 133 30 14
675 He feels so lonely, he could die. 1.3277 0.04425 177 130 36 11
676 I'd like to see him keep it on in an updraft. 1.3273 0.04562 165 121 34 10
677 He says he's evolved. 1.3273 0.04138 165 116 44 5
678 I could spot that birds nest a mile away. 1.3272 0.04620 162 119 33 10
679 He's just another Elvis impersonator. 1.3272 0.04364 162 116 39 7
680 He can trans all he wants. He was born a bald eagle. He was raised a bald eagle. He’s a bald eagle. 1.3269 0.04740 156 115 31 10
681 No matter how hard he tries to cover it up, he ain't nothin' but a bald eagle. 1.3269 0.04652 156 114 33 9
682 You’re not screaming now, but wait till he shakes his pelvis. 1.3268 0.04892 153 114 28 11
683 He's been in witness protection ever since the photo shoot with 45. 1.3267 0.04585 150 108 35 7
684 He flew over Mar-a-Lago. 1.3264 0.05199 144 109 23 12
685 He's a national disgrace. 1.3264 0.04605 144 103 35 6
686 Elvis has flown the coop 1.3262 0.05181 141 106 24 11
687 He was never able to accept his baldness. 1.3258 0.04105 178 127 44 7
688 Should have seen him during his Ramones phase. 1.3256 0.04656 172 129 30 13
689 I suspect a cover-up. 1.3256 0.05181 129 95 26 8
690 If you think he looks ridiculous, wait to see him perching on a sportscar." 1.3254 0.05143 126 92 27 7
691 We never should have told him his proper name. 1.3252 0.04428 163 118 37 8
692 Never accepted being a bald eagle. 1.3252 0.04677 163 121 31 11
693 Oh Elvis Smelvis! 1.3252 0.04428 163 118 37 8
694 Tread lightly on the rug jokes 1.3250 0.05314 120 88 25 7
695 He's got this thing about Tony Bennett. 1.3250 0.04393 160 115 38 7
696 Give it a week. I'll blow over. 1.3247 0.04777 154 114 30 10
697 Great. Now we're going to be known as Rug Eagles. 1.3245 0.04932 151 113 27 11
698 He refuses to concede. 1.3245 0.04932 151 113 27 11
699 I don't mind the toupee, but "Elvis!?" 1.3245 0.05278 151 117 19 15
700 One guy’s DDT is another guy’s Rogaine 1.3240 0.04727 179 137 26 16
701 He's been like this since he got back from that trip to Vegas 1.3240 0.04661 179 136 28 15
702 That toupee is for the birds. 1.3239 0.05150 142 107 24 11
703 Next thing you know, he will be wearing a man bun. 1.3239 0.04952 142 105 28 9
704 Hey at least he is not wearing a MAGA hat 1.3237 0.05327 139 106 21 12
705 It’s a comb over fade with an undercut curl. He says he gets a lot of coos. 1.3237 0.04920 139 102 29 8
706 Little does he know the chicks dig us bald guys! 1.3235 0.04616 170 127 31 12
707 He thinks nobody notices. 1.3234 0.04595 167 124 32 11
708 Well, I think it looks natural. 1.3232 0.04489 164 120 35 9
709 ''I heard his wife ran off with a woodpecker" 1.3232 0.04888 164 125 25 14
710 It's a Johnny Cash look. 1.3231 0.05030 130 95 28 7
711 He says he never eats the fur anyway, so why not put it to good use? 1.3230 0.04953 161 123 24 14
712 Looks like being the national bird has gone to his head. 1.3228 0.04689 158 117 31 10
713 Europeans... 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
714 His nest has a live cam. 1.3226 0.04838 155 116 28 11
715 It's downright unamerican. 1.3224 0.04815 152 113 29 10
716 Yes, Julio has style but someone must warn him that Liberacci is passsee. 1.3224 0.04904 152 114 27 11
717 I'm serious, it's natural. 1.3224 0.04535 152 110 35 7
718 All he's missing are his Blue Suede Shoes. 1.3224 0.04723 152 112 31 9
719 Not my kind of president, but he has a huge following of magpies. 1.3224 0.04992 152 115 25 12
720 Why can’t he just molt gracefully like the rest of us? 1.3223 0.05145 121 88 27 6
721 I think it’s kind of sad and kind of hot at the same time. 1.3221 0.04692 149 109 32 8
722 No, YOU tell him he's not fooling anyone. 1.3221 0.04494 149 107 36 6
723 He hasn't been the same since the oil spill. 1.3219 0.04854 146 108 29 9
724 He's going through a mid-life crisis. 1.3217 0.04718 143 104 32 7
725 Where did we go wrong? 1.3214 0.04784 140 102 31 7
726 So much for us being described as majestic. 1.3212 0.04548 165 122 33 10
727 He ain't never caught a rabbit. 1.3212 0.04383 165 120 37 8
728 He bought a ridiculous sports car as well. 1.3212 0.04708 165 124 29 12
729 Some of us handle this bald eagle thing better than others. 1.3212 0.05069 137 102 26 9
730 The threat to democracy is staggering. 1.3212 0.04740 137 99 32 6
731 They were on sale, maybe? 1.3212 0.05173 137 103 24 10
732 he's been listening to Roy Orbison 1.3210 0.04687 162 121 30 11
733 It doesn't take our eyes to spot that piece from a mile away... 1.3210 0.04927 162 124 24 14
734 As if no one will notice. 1.3209 0.04923 134 98 29 7
735 Do you think it's real? 1.3209 0.04315 187 139 36 12
736 Is it a wig or the improvement of our species" 1.3208 0.04490 159 116 35 8
737 So obvious. I could see it from two miles away. 1.3207 0.04627 184 141 27 16
738 Must be mating season 1.3202 0.04169 178 129 41 8
739 I was all in until I heard the list of side effects it causes 1.3200 0.04568 150 109 34 7
740 There's something different about him...I just can't put my wingtip on it. 1.3197 0.04628 147 107 33 7
741 Hard to say. His mom’s a hairy woodpecker and his dad a bald eagle. 1.3197 0.04728 147 108 31 8
742 Could be worse. Could be a mullet. 1.3197 0.04921 147 110 27 10
743 Are we allowed to do that? 1.3197 0.05015 147 111 25 11
744 I guess he was transferred from the zoo in Las Vegas. 1.3195 0.04391 169 124 36 9
745 He'll do Heartbreak Hotel if you ask him. 1.3194 0.04893 144 107 28 9
746 It looks like someone's been using Rogaine. 1.3193 0.04443 166 122 35 9
747 Just wait ‘till he’s in the jet stream. 1.3191 0.04964 141 105 27 9
748 Proud symbol of our nation my ass! 1.3190 0.04743 163 123 28 12
749 He prefers not to be endangered. 1.3188 0.04931 138 102 28 8
750 Who does Herman think he's fooling? 1.3185 0.04431 157 114 36 7
751 The worst part is he thinks no one can tell. 1.3182 0.05081 132 98 26 8
752 That's a leaf. He's bald just like the rest of us. 1.3182 0.05303 132 100 22 10
753 That Hair Club for Men does amazing work 1.3182 0.04936 154 117 25 12
754 I’m not saying I’m on board with it, but he is giving off an Elvis vibe that I can’t help but admire. 1.3179 0.04826 151 113 28 10
755 I mean, he looks the part, but can he sing? 1.3179 0.04543 151 110 34 7
756 I can't wait to see him dive into the water for fish. 1.3176 0.04892 148 111 27 10
757 He's been watching GOLDEN GIRLS again at those windows in that big blue house! 1.3174 0.04421 167 123 35 9
758 You can tell it's not his natural color. 1.3171 0.05693 123 95 17 11
759 Should we tell Larry that we’re supposed to be bald? 1.3171 0.04474 164 121 34 9
760 I told him if he wears that to the nest, I'll definitely be a flight risk. 1.3169 0.05132 142 108 23 11
761 Was kicked out of the Eagles, ended up an Elvis impersonator. 1.3169 0.05132 142 108 23 11
762 It’s called a comb over. 1.3167 0.04558 180 137 29 14
763 I really like this tree 1.3162 0.05291 136 104 21 11
764 He thinks it makes him look presidential. 1.3158 0.04613 152 112 32 8
765 He's been spending too much time with #45. 1.3158 0.04798 152 114 28 10
766 It is hard to soar like an eagle when you’re worried about the toupee blowing away. 1.3158 0.05269 133 101 22 10
767 God, I hate Vegas. 1.3158 0.04934 133 98 28 7
768 At least he gave up the combover. 1.3155 0.04167 187 138 39 10
769 He's also started only eating peanut butter and banana sandwiches. 1.3154 0.04956 149 113 25 11
770 He thinks he's incognito. 1.3154 0.04476 149 108 35 6
771 It just brings attention to his baldness 1.3152 0.04451 165 122 34 9
772 He heard they're redesigning the quarter. 1.3152 0.04772 165 126 26 13
773 That’s why it’s illegal to transplant endangered species. 1.3151 0.05027 146 111 24 11
774 He thinks it makes him look more endangerous. 1.3151 0.04636 146 107 32 7
775 He’s trying to distract from his crows feet. 1.3151 0.04933 146 110 26 10
776 It gets worse. He only sings Elvis songs. 1.3151 0.05027 146 111 24 11
777 He just arrived from Mar-a-lago. 1.3147 0.05004 143 108 25 10
778 He hasn't chosen his party yet but he's locked in the image consultant. 1.3147 0.05004 143 108 25 10
779 It's true. I saw him snatch it right off the guys head. 1.3145 0.05416 124 94 21 9
780 Who's going to be the one to tell him we're not bald? 1.3145 0.04648 159 119 30 10
781 He calls it a head warmer, I call it a midlife crisis. 1.3143 0.04871 140 104 28 8
782 Rogaine. His convertible is even more embarrassing. 1.3141 0.04881 156 119 25 12
783 He invited me to a party in the county jail. 1.3141 0.04709 156 117 29 10
784 I told you he's alive. 1.3140 0.04844 121 87 30 4
785 Would we say “awkward eagle?” 1.3139 0.05155 137 104 23 10
786 You should hear his rendition of "Love Me Tender." 1.3137 0.04861 153 116 26 11
787 Bald", as in "bald eagle" means "white", as in our white heads. So Trumpian of him to not know 1.3137 0.04861 153 116 26 11
788 He says the government will pay for it because 'Hare' Restoration is covered under the Endangered Species Act. 1.3137 0.05119 153 119 20 14
789 He went to see the new Elvis movie and has been acting like this ever since" 1.3137 0.04396 153 111 36 6
790 everyone wants to be Elvis these days 1.3137 0.04771 153 115 28 10
791 Toupee or not toupee, that is the question. 1.3136 0.04534 169 127 31 11
792 I've always thought he was the best captain of the Enterprise. 1.3136 0.05476 118 89 21 8
793 He landed on some piano keys and now he thinks he's Liberace. 1.3133 0.04647 150 111 31 8
794 He actually was getting bald. 1.3133 0.05018 150 115 23 12
795 Wait until he flies. 1.3133 0.04174 166 120 40 6
796 Told you not to show him the Elvis movie 1.3129 0.04998 147 112 24 11
797 Elvis is in the house. 1.3129 0.04904 147 111 26 10
798 You have to admit, he does look younger. 1.3129 0.04998 147 112 24 11
799 He looks even more bald that way if you ask me. 1.3129 0.04397 163 120 35 8
800 He ain't never caught no rabbit and he ain't no friend of mine " 1.3125 0.04875 144 108 27 9
801 And it’s made out of HUMAN hair! 1.3125 0.04875 144 108 27 9
802 What's next, lipo? 1.3125 0.05386 112 83 23 6
803 He figures he can pick up a chick if he looks more like a rooster. 1.3125 0.05291 128 97 22 9
804 "He loves that the birdwatchers call him Elvis. 1.3121 0.04595 157 117 31 9
805 Let’s see how well he handles it in the wind. 1.3121 0.04413 157 115 35 7
806 The only peace he supports is the one on top of his head. 1.3121 0.04736 141 104 30 7
807 It's either a wig, or he's a different species. 1.3121 0.04945 141 106 26 9
808 He can steal fish just by thinking about it. 1.3120 0.05257 125 94 23 8
809 Look Priscilla. Isn’t that Elvis?” 1.3120 0.05497 125 96 19 10
810 He works Las Vegas during the winter. 1.3118 0.04512 170 128 31 11
811 The salmon must think they're getting eaten by Elvis! 1.3117 0.04920 154 118 24 12
812 His feathers aren't real either. 1.3116 0.04911 138 103 27 8
813 You're gonna love this Bob, his healthcare insurance paid for it. 1.3116 0.05224 138 106 21 11
814 Land of the Free, Home of the Wave," apparently. 1.3116 0.05018 138 104 25 9
815 I'm just saying, it wouldn't hurt you to put some effort into your appearance as well. 1.3110 0.04459 164 122 33 9
816 Says he found the nomenclature "derogatory". 1.3106 0.04764 161 123 26 12
817 That is not how we get taken off the endangered list 1.3106 0.04426 161 119 34 8
818 Just wait 'till you see him shake his tail feathers! 1.3103 0.04846 145 109 27 9
819 No, don’t tell me; let me guess. He had his talons done? 1.3103 0.04944 145 110 25 10
820 You may not like the look, but wait until you hear his rendition of "All Shook Up". 1.3101 0.05481 129 100 18 11
821 Vanity like that is un-American 1.3099 0.04707 142 105 30 7
822 I can spot a cheap rug a mile away! 1.3099 0.05114 142 109 22 11
823 He's missed all of the self esteem classes. 1.3099 0.04377 142 102 36 4
824 He does a great Rockin’ Robin. 1.3097 0.04806 155 118 26 11
825 It makes his butt look big. 1.3095 0.05221 126 95 23 8
826 Sure he looks younger,but there goes his protection status 1.3095 0.04842 126 92 29 5
827 I don’t care what you say—he looks years younger. 1.3094 0.04987 139 105 25 9
828 Should we tell him that he is SUPPOSED to be bald? 1.3091 0.04599 165 125 29 11
829 It's a phase.This week Elvis...next week Roy Orbison. 1.3088 0.05061 136 103 24 9
830 I can tell it's artificial. 1.3088 0.04727 136 100 30 6
831 elvis schmelvish 1.3087 0.04939 149 114 24 11
832 Birdwatchers call him a "comb-over eagle." 1.3087 0.04656 149 111 30 8
833 It appears that ornithologists were wrong: the dodo is still with us! 1.3083 0.04850 120 87 29 4
834 I'll bet you a trout and two field mice he's changed political parties. 1.3083 0.05248 133 102 21 10
835 It's a feather duster. 1.3082 0.04617 146 108 31 7
836 At least it isn't orange. 1.3082 0.04914 146 111 25 10
837 You can tell it’s not real feathers. 1.3082 0.04883 159 123 23 13
838 Don't be cruel when we tell him. 1.3082 0.04717 159 121 27 11
839 It looks like all the mistakes I've ever made. 1.3077 0.04985 143 109 24 10
840 He is, in fact, a founding member of the Hairclub for Raptors. 1.3077 0.05083 143 110 22 11
841 He thinks we don't know the truth 1.3077 0.05114 156 123 18 15
842 Next week he’ll show up with arms. 1.3077 0.04783 143 107 28 8
843 He bought it at a dollar store. Said it was a small price toupee. 1.3077 0.05624 117 90 18 9
844 He just got back from Graceland 1.3077 0.04885 143 108 26 9
845 Don't bring it up. He will wig out. 1.3077 0.05104 130 98 24 8
846 It’s as though we’ve never been called bald before. 1.3077 0.04597 169 129 28 12
847 Does he know he's not really bald? 1.3073 0.04270 179 134 35 10
848 He nested in Memphis last year.... 1.3072 0.04068 166 120 41 5
849 He aspires to be a loon. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
850 That mouse pelt isn't fooling anyone. 1.3070 0.05590 114 87 19 8
851 Silly yes, but they say he could be our next President. 1.3070 0.05305 114 85 23 6
852 He’d look better if he hadn’t just killed it. 1.3070 0.05861 114 89 15 10
853 What happened in Vegas did NOT stay in Vegas! 1.3067 0.04713 163 125 26 12
854 Rug Eagle doesn’t conjure up the same image”! 1.3067 0.04725 150 113 28 9
855 He can't decide on which persona, Elvis or Trump! 1.3065 0.05631 124 97 16 11
856 I hear he's going to be on the Alaska state quarter. 1.3062 0.04691 160 122 27 11
857 The Liberace look is back, really? 1.3061 0.04383 147 107 35 5
858 One trip to France and now he thinks he's a rooster! 1.3060 0.05106 134 102 23 9
859 At least it's not a comb-over... 1.3059 0.04419 170 128 32 10
860 I present to you the rarest of species, the vain toupéed eagle. 1.3058 0.05358 121 92 21 8
861 Three mice it doesn't last the day. 1.3058 0.04958 121 89 27 5
862 He's not the top bird, but he is the hair apparent 1.3058 0.05609 121 94 17 10
863 I'd prefer you age gracefully. 1.3058 0.05095 121 90 25 6
864 Said his name is Eaglis. 1.3058 0.05095 121 90 25 6
865 He looks great, but wait until he flies... 1.3057 0.04922 157 122 22 13
866 He’s not aging well.” 1.3057 0.04666 157 119 28 10
867 His ex-wife started dating a peacock 1.3057 0.05004 157 123 20 14
868 For him, vanity trumps identity 1.3056 0.05337 108 80 23 5
869 He says he's a bold eagle. 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
870 They're gonna know 1.3053 0.04710 131 96 30 5
871 And then he says ‘Thank you… Thank you very much’” 1.3051 0.05582 118 91 18 9
872 How about "Conway Tweetie"? 1.3051 0.05178 118 88 24 6
873 He took the term "bald eagle" personally. 1.3051 0.05178 118 88 24 6
874 He’s fooling no one… It is literally in our name 1.3050 0.04821 141 106 27 8
875 Look at Brad, trying to work his way up the pecking order. 1.3050 0.04821 141 106 27 8
876 Yeah, it's obviously fake, but he's so much more confident now. 1.3049 0.04271 164 121 36 7
877 You say "Bold Eagle" but I still think he looks like a second-rate Elvis impersonator. 1.3046 0.04882 151 116 24 11
878 These Elvis impersonators are getting ridiculous. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
879 Gary is really embracing his divorce isn’t he 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
880 When I told him to go get a rug I meant for the bottom of our nest. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
881 Who’s he fooling? 1.3043 0.04554 138 101 32 5
882 Just my opinion, but I don't think The Toupee Eagle is gonna fly as a national symbol. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
883 The King 1.3041 0.04761 148 112 27 9
884 At first, I thought it was a squirrel. 1.3040 0.05233 125 95 22 8
885 Does he think no one would notice?? 1.3040 0.05233 125 95 22 8
886 And then he tells me bald eagles mate for life, as if I needed reminding. 1.3040 0.05233 125 95 22 8
887 He told me he saw the Elvis movie last week. 1.3040 0.04849 125 92 28 5
888 Does he still count as a Bald Eagle? 1.3033 0.04923 122 90 27 5
889 It's quite a bald statement if you ask me. 1.3033 0.05191 122 92 23 7
890 I really want to run my nails through it. 1.3028 0.04687 142 106 29 7
891 Yeah, it’s a rug. 1.3028 0.04792 142 107 27 8
892 He wants to get back onto an endangered species list. 1.3028 0.04792 142 107 27 8
893 He uses the coxcomb-over to attract chickens for dinner. 1.3028 0.04687 142 106 29 7
894 What's really funny is that it keeps falling off when he dives for prey. 1.3026 0.05366 152 123 12 17
895 The "Douchebag Rockabilly Poseur Eagle" is technically more endangered than we are,but nobody cares. 1.3025 0.05411 119 91 20 8
896 What's next? Orange spray tan? 1.3025 0.05668 119 93 16 10
897 Rumor has it he's actually bald. 1.3025 0.04558 162 123 29 10
898 What's so out of character is that the whole thing isn't bright orange. 1.3025 0.04641 162 124 27 11
899 Nothing more pathetic than bald eagle midlife crisis. 1.3025 0.04116 162 118 39 5
900 It's synthetic" 1.3023 0.04996 129 97 25 7
901 Don't get excited. It's just a decoy. 1.3020 0.04637 149 112 29 8
902 He’s not only the president, but he’s also a client. 1.3019 0.06168 106 84 12 10
903 He says his parents mated in the belfry of an Elvis chapel in Vegas. 1.3017 0.05368 116 88 21 7
904 It's better than a dye job. 1.3017 0.05226 116 87 23 6
905 Next stop is a gold bracelet." "I'm thinking a sports convertible. 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
906 Guess he thinks that'll make him a chick magnet! 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
907 Timothée Chalamet? I just think he looks like an eagle wearing a toupee. 1.3015 0.05252 136 106 19 11
908 I definitely think it would make the coin more attractive. 1.3014 0.04493 146 108 32 6
909 Look! It’s Bird Reynolds! 1.3009 0.05166 113 84 24 5
910 Oh, he's definitely a juvenile. 1.3008 0.05282 123 94 21 8
911 I say we vote him out. 1.3008 0.05155 123 93 23 7
912 He may be a bald eagle, but that toupee makes him look so distinguished, don't you think? 1.3008 0.05024 123 92 25 6
913 *He's been looking for attention ever since we got off the endangered list. " 1.3008 0.05529 123 96 17 10
914 Don't worry it's just a phase 1.3008 0.05005 133 101 24 8
915 Frankly, it's un-American. 1.3007 0.04659 143 107 29 7
916 Dude thought we were really bald. 1.3007 0.04551 153 115 30 8
917 Imagine if he could sing! 1.3007 0.04826 153 118 24 11
918 He wants to go to Graceland. 1.3007 0.04456 153 114 32 7
919 It beats a comb over. 1.3000 0.05104 120 90 24 6
920 He was bothered by his receding featherline. 1.3000 0.04706 150 114 27 9
921 He started growing it when he joined the band. 1.3000 0.04723 140 105 28 7
922 What I need you to do, is stop commenting on other people’s hairstyles! 1.3000 0.05336 140 111 16 13
923 And just like that, he’s become an endangered species of his own. 1.3000 0.05081 130 99 23 8
924 It's the new bald cover up. 1.3000 0.05500 120 93 18 9
925 Our gene pool isn’t ready for that. 1.3000 0.04935 140 107 24 9
926 He’s wearing part of our nest. 1.3000 0.04841 130 97 27 6
927 Why did we take him to that Elvis movie? 1.2993 0.04675 137 102 29 6
928 He's also the president of the hairpiece club for raptors. 1.2992 0.05161 127 97 22 8
929 I'll distract him, you grab it. 1.2992 0.04784 127 94 28 5
930 Yes,we 1.2991 0.05188 117 88 23 6
931 Remember when Carl fished for things besides compliments? 1.2991 0.05044 117 87 25 5
932 Oh yeah, he’s peacocking for sure. 1.2991 0.05044 117 87 25 5
933 He flew in from Memphis. 1.2987 0.04619 154 117 28 9
934 I've got all his albums. 1.2986 0.04305 144 105 35 4
935 He identifies as Elvis. 1.2986 0.04836 144 110 25 9
936 Doesn't look natural. I bet he bought it off the rack. 1.2986 0.04836 144 110 25 9
937 Not only is he the president, but he's also a client. 1.2986 0.04416 144 106 33 5
938 Hairy Eagle doesn't sound quite right. 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
939 Now he says he can be a "balled eagle!" 1.2984 0.05489 124 97 17 10
940 I think these Elvis impersonators are a different breed. 1.2984 0.04432 124 89 33 2
941 It is better than the old preen over. 1.2982 0.05276 114 86 22 6
942 "Chicks love to run their talons through his tuft. 1.2980 0.04773 151 116 25 10
943 He told me I ‘ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog’ and that he’s flying to Vegas. 1.2980 0.04773 151 116 25 10
944 He loves being an eagle, but cannot embrace his baldness. 1.2979 0.04694 141 106 28 7
945 So this what those Rogaine researchers meant by "promoting conservation." 1.2979 0.04694 141 106 28 7
946 Who’s Eagles Presley? 1.2979 0.04585 141 105 30 6
947 He thinks it makes him look younger. I think it makes him look like a chickadee. 1.2978 0.04408 178 137 29 12
948 Pooping on their idols isn't good enough? 1.2977 0.04809 131 98 27 6
949 ...either that or that crow you saw pooped on his head. 1.2977 0.04930 131 99 25 7
950 Should we say something? 1.2977 0.04428 131 95 33 3
951 It’s an endangered crooner. 1.2975 0.04788 121 89 28 4
952 Wop bop a loo bop, wham bam… BALD! 1.2975 0.04788 121 89 28 4
953 Mom swears he’s wearing a toupee. 1.2975 0.04930 121 90 26 5
954 I don't mind his new toupee, but the Elvis impersonations are driving me nuts. 1.2973 0.04742 148 113 26 9
955 I hate karaoke night... 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
956 It's not illegal, but it sure is wrong. 1.2971 0.04976 138 106 23 9
957 I have to admit, from the back you can't tell its a toupee. 1.2971 0.04759 138 104 27 7
958 He’s a little sensitive about being a bald eagle. 1.2969 0.04880 128 96 26 6
959 It's just a phase. 1.2969 0.04486 128 93 32 3
960 Someone is lonesome every night! 1.2969 0.05126 128 98 22 8
961 Since when does scavenging need to be made great again? 1.2966 0.05556 118 92 17 9
962 He spent last weekend in Vegas. 1.2966 0.05150 118 89 23 6
963 He's never been the same since the Elvis movie came out. 1.2966 0.04807 145 111 25 9
964 ...and he wants us to call him 'The King'. 1.2966 0.04706 145 110 27 8
965 'They say he's a bigwig." 1.2966 0.04603 145 109 29 7
966 I just hate how he calls it a feather system. 1.2963 0.04827 135 102 26 7
967 I liked him better during his 'Skinny Elvis' phase. 1.2961 0.04652 152 116 27 9
968 When are you going to tell your bird-brain brother he’s not Elvis? 1.2961 0.04745 152 117 25 10
969 Well, it’s an improvement over the squirrel tail or the dead mouse. 1.2961 0.04652 152 116 27 9
970 It's his dinner but he wears it well. 1.2960 0.04687 125 92 29 4
971 He just starting seeing a crow, that’s why. 1.2960 0.04823 125 93 27 5
972 That thing is going to fly right off his head. 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
973 Leave him alone, he's having a bad hair day... 1.2958 0.04332 142 104 34 4
974 I never even thought about it before. 1.2955 0.05014 132 101 23 8
975 Apparently "bald" is not "woke." 1.2955 0.04778 132 99 27 6
976 He now wants to be referred to as “The Bold Eagle” 1.2955 0.04778 132 99 27 6
977 We're in a caption contest, the toupée is not real. 1.2953 0.04994 149 117 20 12
978 Thinks he’s Don Henley. 1.2952 0.05567 105 80 19 6
979 He says orange makes him look too much like a screeching parrot. 1.2952 0.05567 105 80 19 6
980 It was his therapist’s suggestion. 1.2951 0.05294 122 94 20 8
981 If he just died his feathers orange he could run the country! 1.2951 0.05294 122 94 20 8
982 Maybe the name was getting to him? 1.2951 0.05294 122 94 20 8
983 He doesn't identify as a bald eagle 1.2950 0.04729 139 105 27 7
984 He's on the spectrum. 1.2946 0.05621 112 87 17 8
985 Good thing he’s not a cockatoo. 1.2946 0.04848 129 97 26 6
986 Is bald not cool anymore? 1.2945 0.04576 146 110 29 7
987 Someone should tell him that you are supposed to eat your dinner,not wear it. 1.2945 0.04678 146 111 27 8
988 Ever since he saw Baz Luhrmann's Elvis... 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
989 He ordered it from Amazon. 1.2941 0.04681 136 102 28 6
990 I’m not sure what pronoun to use. 1.2941 0.04681 136 102 28 6
991 Face it. America is changing. 1.2941 0.04718 153 118 25 10
992 He's been obsessed with that ever since Trump got elected. 1.2937 0.04945 143 111 22 10
993 He believes he can make it big in Vegas, and it wouldn't hurt if you were a little more supportive, Delores. 1.2937 0.04845 143 110 24 9
994 Miscommunication with his stylist about feathering. 1.2937 0.04655 126 93 29 4
995 I don’t think he sounds anything like Elvis. 1.2937 0.05528 126 100 15 11
996 Toupee or not to Toupee’s 1.2932 0.04866 133 101 25 7
997 If it helps pick up chicks I'm in. 1.2932 0.04866 133 101 25 7
998 I tried to tell him it’s unpatriotic. 1.2932 0.04626 133 99 29 5
999 The GOP felt that "bald" wasn't masculine enough. 1.2931 0.05340 116 89 20 7
1000 He's always been sensitive about his first name. 1.2931 0.05478 116 90 18 8
1001 Well I’M all shook up. 1.2931 0.05051 116 87 24 5
1002 Actually, it's not a toupee. He's transitioning to a cockatoo. 1.2931 0.05478 116 90 18 8
1003 He fancies himself more a bard than a bird 1.2929 0.04700 140 106 27 7
1004 What part of ' Bald Eagle" doesn't he understand?? 1.2927 0.05128 123 94 22 7
1005 He thinks chicks dig it! 1.2925 0.04750 147 113 25 9
1006 Exposure to DDT. 1.2925 0.04750 147 113 25 9
1007 You should hear his past life claim. 1.2923 0.05231 130 104 15 11
1008 Seriously? 1.2923 0.04938 130 99 24 7
1009 He says, deep down, he never truly felt like a bald eagle. 1.2920 0.05286 113 86 21 6
1010 God help me, I want one. 1.2920 0.05286 113 86 21 6
1011 He looks dapper til he tries to fly. Then he just looks bald and stupid. 1.2920 0.04877 137 105 24 8
1012 Just wait until the mockingbirds tweet about this!" 1.2917 0.05524 96 72 20 4
1013 He hasn't started balding yet. 1.2913 0.04487 127 93 31 3
1014 Dead ringer for Liberace. 1.2913 0.04887 127 96 25 6
1015 He came out. Why can’t you?? 1.2910 0.04949 134 103 23 8
1016 Man, did you see him chasing it yesterday? 1.2910 0.05171 134 105 19 10
1017 A Hoity-Toity Boidy. 1.2910 0.05061 134 104 21 9
1018 I told you we should have watch Attenborough instead of Grease 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1019 He says it's for the chicks. 1.2909 0.05222 110 83 22 5
1020 I don't know about that hairpiece but I hear his mating call is worth a listen 1.2908 0.04562 141 106 29 6
1021 No, he's not just another Elvis impersonator. He's actually changed his name to Conway Tweety. 1.2908 0.04779 141 108 25 8
1022 He’s a Trump comb-back! 1.2906 0.05437 117 91 18 8
1023 He looks more like himself now. 1.2906 0.05014 117 88 24 5
1024 He may look like Elvis but, trust me, his crooning is strictly for the birds... 1.2905 0.04623 148 113 27 8
1025 Doesn't it make him look ten years younger? 1.2905 0.04523 148 112 29 7
1026 I heard he lives in Trump Tower ! 1.2905 0.04818 148 115 23 10
1027 You don't need eyes like ours to spot that bird's nest. 1.2903 0.05219 124 96 20 8
1028 Do you think the chicks will dig it? 1.2903 0.04665 155 120 25 10
1029 'This is one time I need my Field Guide' 1.2903 0.04828 124 93 26 5
1030 You have GOT to hear him sing 'Love Me Tender'! 1.2901 0.05024 131 101 22 8
1031 It's Vegas, baby. 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1032 Elvis has left the tree. 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1033 He saw Mom admiring a Crested Grebe 1.2900 0.06243 100 80 11 9
1034 He’s tired of being a bald eagle. 1.2899 0.04736 138 105 26 7
1035 He hasn't been the same since he pooped on Graceland. 1.2899 0.04623 138 104 28 6
1036 That's my cousin Harry, he's a Pompadour Eagle. 1.2897 0.04582 145 110 28 7
1037 He thinks no one will notice. 1.2895 0.04781 114 84 27 3
1038 Too many late night tv commercials. 1.2895 0.05246 114 87 21 6
1039 He enjoys gaslighting the birdwatchers. 1.2895 0.05096 114 86 23 5
1040 He just arrived from Quebec. 1.2895 0.04441 152 115 30 7
1041 Elvis has left the birdhouse! 1.2895 0.04941 114 85 25 4
1042 Who does he think he's fooling with that road-kill on his head? 1.2893 0.04311 159 120 32 7
1043 There's no shame in it, Jaspar! It's natural. And what's more, it represents freedom. Freedom to take the top down on the Miata! 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
1044 Why can't he just accept that he is a bald eagle? 1.2893 0.04758 121 90 27 4
1045 It's for his photo shoot at the U.S. Mint next week. 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
1046 He'd look better as a blonde! 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
1047 I wish he'd leave the impersonations to the parrots. 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
1048 He’s never been the same since he watched Grease 1.2887 0.04643 142 108 27 7
1049 I just can't help falling in love with him, Marge. 1.2887 0.04955 142 111 21 10
1050 There goes the neighborhood! 1.2887 0.04853 142 110 23 9
1051 He says he’s a Hairon, now. 1.2886 0.04497 149 113 29 7
1052 He went from looking like the back of a quarter to looking like a quarterback. 1.2883 0.04327 163 124 31 8
1053 …and he said to me “ It’s 2022! Come on! No one needs to be bald!” 1.2883 0.05020 111 83 24 4
1054 Someone should tell him he’s not fooling anyone with that piece. 1.2883 0.05488 111 86 18 7
1055 He likes to fool birders into thinking they've found a new species. 1.2881 0.05396 118 92 18 8
1056 He’s not just the president; he’s also a client. 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
1057 He’s from Vegas. 1.2880 0.04658 125 93 28 4
1058 It beats a mohawk. 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
1059 He says Elvis, but I’m thinking more like Roy Orbison. 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
1060 He thinks he's a warbler. 1.2879 0.04629 132 99 28 5
1061 He says he can catch fish just by thinking about it. 1.2879 0.05539 132 107 12 13
1062 He still knows he's a bald eagle, right? 1.2877 0.04450 146 110 30 6
1063 A 'chick magnet'? With that dead rabbit on his head? 1.2871 0.06346 101 82 9 10
1064 Isn’t that too high a price toupee for freedom? 1.2871 0.05859 101 79 15 7
1065 He's been preparing for that evolutionary leap. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1066 Enh" isn't an answer. You like it or you don't 1.2870 0.05057 115 87 23 5
1067 Phil sure puts the rug in rugged individualism. 1.2870 0.04746 115 85 27 3
1068 He may look like Elvis, but his singing is for the birds. 1.2870 0.05206 115 88 21 6
1069 Did we ever consider extinction? 1.2869 0.05004 122 93 23 6
1070 He thinks because he’s a bird that it looks natural. 1.2869 0.05137 122 94 21 7
1071 He’s heard that Progressives are looking for a new symbol 1.2869 0.05267 122 95 19 8
1072 I heard he’s now running for president 1.2869 0.05395 122 96 17 9
1073 Why can’t he accept being a bald eagle? 1.2869 0.05004 122 93 23 6
1074 Treasury wants a hip look for the new singles. 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1075 I thought the expression was “bald is beautiful.” 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1076 I think it's a cover-up. 1.2868 0.04564 129 96 29 4
1077 Bald eagles should not look like Liberace” 1.2868 0.05185 129 101 19 9
1078 Before he runs for President, he's waiting for his leaf toupee to turn orange. The full effect. 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
1079 yeah,ever since the "Elvis" movie came out! 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1080 Sure it might look good now, but I'm afraid it will run if he sweats. 1.2868 0.05103 136 107 19 10
1081 Doesn't he know that bald is beautiful? 1.2868 0.04885 136 105 23 8
1082 It’s called Just for Wren. 1.2867 0.04925 143 112 21 10
1083 He certainly has the Audubon crowd in a tizzy.” 1.2867 0.04615 143 109 27 7
1084 Why don’t you shut up about the hair and let him live his life? 1.2867 0.04762 150 117 23 10
1085 Who cares if it isn’t natural? The chicks dig it! 1.2867 0.04471 150 114 29 7
1086 He says the chicks dig it. 1.2857 0.04729 147 114 24 9
1087 He's a symbol of piece 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
1088 My uncle? I thought he was your uncle. 1.2857 0.06009 105 84 12 9
1089 If he wants to wear it, fine. But I'm not going to call him Elvis. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
1090 Must be a young guy.... hasn't gone bald yet! 1.2857 0.04566 140 106 28 6
1091 He's watching over Graceland. 1.2857 0.05295 112 86 20 6
1092 Me? I'd have gone with an Afro. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
1093 I don't think it makes him look at all younger... 1.2857 0.04827 147 115 22 10
1094 Is he or is he not a bald eagle? 1.2857 0.05291 133 106 16 11
1095 Harry could never accept being a Bald Eagle. 1.2857 0.05268 126 99 18 9
1096 “He used to be a Bald Eagle, but now he’s a Double-Crested Comb-over Eagle.” 1.2857 0.05182 133 105 18 10
1097 He's proud to be an American! 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
1098 Can't you just let him have this? 1.2857 0.04487 126 93 30 3
1099 Are Elvis impersonations still a thing? 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
1100 He goes by Pierre now. 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
1101 That toupee is not going to fly. 1.2857 0.05981 98 77 14 7
1102 They fly off faster than his wives. 1.2857 0.04644 119 88 28 3
1103 At least he is not singing. 1.2848 0.04451 165 128 27 10
1104 Bald eagle in denial. 1.2848 0.04640 151 117 25 9
1105 Regal Eagle 1.2846 0.04790 130 99 25 6
1106 Poor guy, must be bad genes. 1.2846 0.04912 130 100 23 7
1107 He’s not only the president, he’s also a client. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1108 He swears that it's real 1.2846 0.05479 123 98 15 10
1109 They call him Cool Breeze 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1110 Viva Las Eagles. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1111 Wait til you see his blue suede talon appliqués. 1.2845 0.05020 116 88 23 5
1112 I think the hair is a bit much…he just can’t let it go 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
1113 He 's got the Elvis voice , but hasn't mastered the moves yet. 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
1114 It’s safer than the sports car and he isn’t chasing younger birds. 1.2844 0.05695 109 86 15 8
1115 He’s an influencer. 1.2844 0.05064 109 82 23 4
1116 Well, at least she's still an eagle. 1.2844 0.05695 109 86 15 8
1117 I think he looked better without that rug on top 1.2844 0.05695 109 86 15 8
1118 Look at him—thinks he's too good to be a bald eagle. 1.2844 0.05544 109 85 17 7
1119 Does he know he's not endangered anymore? 1.2844 0.04716 109 80 27 2
1120 We don’t talk about Bruno. 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
1121 You have to wonder where they took it from 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
1122 That’s not the worst of it. I hear he’s stopped flying altogether and bought a Corvette. 1.2838 0.04072 148 109 36 3
1123 He looks like Liberace but can he play the piano? 1.2838 0.03958 148 108 38 2
1124 he just watched the Elvis movie,give it a few days. 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
1125 His name is Donald… 1.2837 0.04861 141 110 22 9
1126 Sure, it looks ridiculous, but you haven't lived till you've heard his "Love Me Tender." 1.2836 0.04691 134 102 26 6
1127 The ol' bird thinks he's Elvis! 1.2836 0.04570 134 101 28 5
1128 I haven’t seen anything like that since the ‘70s. 1.2836 0.05037 134 105 20 9
1129 And if you look closely I think he's had some work done on his beak, too. 1.2836 0.04446 134 100 30 4
1130 He's trying out for a part in a Hitchcock movie. 1.2835 0.05465 127 102 14 11
1131 Man, I remember when we used to have hair like that! 1.2835 0.04987 127 98 22 7
1132 I just don't think "comb over eagle" is going to catch on. 1.2835 0.05111 127 99 20 8
1133 You think the talons are real? 1.2833 0.04611 120 89 28 3
1134 He swears it's natural. 1.2832 0.05102 113 86 22 5
1135 He has a thing for Arthur Fonzarelli” 1.2832 0.04614 113 83 28 2
1136 It worked better on the squirrel. 1.2830 0.04972 106 79 24 3
1137 We’re fish theives with halitosis. Can’t we at least be comfortable with our bird-pattern baldness? 1.2826 0.04712 138 106 25 7
1138 Identifies as the bald-less eagle. 1.2826 0.04931 138 108 21 9
1139 It’s his third midlife crisis. 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1140 I'm not sure ... he just says, The King is BACK! 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1141 At least we got him to shave the goatee. 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1142 Just wait 'til you see the shoes 1.2823 0.05065 124 96 21 7
1143 Let him be Elvis for awhile. He had a hard life. 1.2823 0.04933 124 95 23 6
1144 Black-capped chickadee envy. 1.2823 0.04660 124 93 27 4
1145 Vanity, thy name is idiot 1.2823 0.05065 124 96 21 7
1146 Hair Club For Wren 1.2821 0.04982 117 89 23 5
1147 Well, it does look better than that backwards Cubs baseball hat. 1.2821 0.05128 117 90 21 6
1148 I don’t think it’s a ‘why’ so much as a ‘how.’ 1.2821 0.05128 117 90 21 6
1149 He just flew in from Vegas. 1.2818 0.05649 110 87 15 8
1150 Let's hope it's just a midlife crisis 1.2818 0.05024 110 83 23 4
1151 He joined Hair Club for Men. 1.2818 0.05937 110 89 11 10
1152 He ain't no friend of mine. 1.2818 0.05346 110 85 19 6
1153 He actually does a pretty good “Hound Dog” 1.2817 0.04620 142 109 26 7
1154 That's his Elvis personna. 1.2817 0.04283 142 106 32 4
1155 I liked it better feathered. 1.2817 0.03918 142 103 38 1
1156 He’s into this whole ‘raptor without a cause’ phase. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1157 Wait ‘til you see his Elvis impersonation.Fantastic! 1.2815 0.04661 135 103 26 6
1158 Look, none of us like being bald, but that is ridiculous! 1.2815 0.04661 135 103 26 6
1159 He told me that he can’t help falling in love with me. 1.2810 0.04586 153 119 25 9
1160 He’s a birdbrain 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
1161 Well, he's a lousy raptor, but he keeps the kids amused. 1.2810 0.05278 121 95 18 8
1162 It's "They / Them" now. 1.2810 0.05407 121 96 16 9
1163 He's mine! 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
1164 It's an act of pure hairesy. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
1165 Elvis just flew out of the building. 1.2807 0.05361 114 89 18 7
1166 Not just president of the Hair Club for Wren but also a client. 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
1167 I think he's taken his support for Trump just a little too far. 1.2806 0.05209 139 112 15 12
1168 He thinks he's Don Henley. 1.2804 0.05602 107 84 16 7
1169 It’s just a little too Liberace. 1.2804 0.05108 107 81 22 4
1170 He's big in New York real estate. 1.2804 0.05757 107 85 14 8
1171 It's fine FEATHERS that make fine birds, but evidently he didn't get the memo. 1.2804 0.05277 107 82 20 5
1172 He's also a client. 1.2803 0.04965 132 103 21 8
1173 You should hear him sing Hound Dog. 1.2803 0.04965 132 103 21 8
1174 I hear he bought a Corvette too… 1.2803 0.04344 132 98 31 3
1175 The combover was worse 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1176 Don't blame me. You're the one who wanted to name his Elvis. 1.2800 0.04628 125 94 27 4
1177 He's opening for The Byrds. 1.2797 0.04483 143 109 28 6
1178 That dye job is a dead give away that he's back on the market again. 1.2797 0.04946 118 90 23 5
1179 You should see his Willy Nelson getup. 1.2797 0.05231 118 92 19 7
1180 I TOLD you Elvis was still alive! 1.2795 0.04511 161 126 25 10
1181 He’s migrating to Vegas this year. 1.2794 0.04631 136 104 26 6
1182 These Elvis impersonators are getting on my nerves. 1.2793 0.05604 111 88 15 8
1183 How about rug head. 1.2793 0.05303 111 86 19 6
1184 So that's what happened to the nest. 1.2793 0.05147 111 85 21 5
1185 I don’t know if you remember Steve Allen, but he’s the spitting image. 1.2791 0.04399 129 96 30 3
1186 He’s an Elvis impersonator at night. 1.2791 0.04794 129 99 24 6
1187 He forfeited all his federal protections. For what? Vanity, that's what. 1.2788 0.06027 104 84 11 9
1188 It’s still a rug. 1.2787 0.04694 122 92 26 4
1189 I suddenly feel... naked. 1.2787 0.04694 122 92 26 4
1190 He only answers to “Bold” eagle now. 1.2786 0.04427 140 106 29 5
1191 He misheard a nature film crew. He thought they said we were going distinct. 1.2785 0.04294 158 121 30 7
1192 He's compensating for small talons. 1.2784 0.05815 97 76 15 6
1193 Mid -migratory crisis 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
1194 Who's that hunk, a hunk of burning love? 1.2783 0.05174 115 89 20 6
1195 He's going to be an Elvis impresonator. 1.2783 0.05319 115 90 18 7
1196 Makes him look ten years younger! 1.2783 0.05319 115 90 18 7
1197 If this catches on with the ladies, we’re in big trouble. 1.2783 0.05174 115 89 20 6
1198 He’s big into cosplay. 1.2783 0.05319 115 90 18 7
1199 Does this mean her pronouns have changed or is this just her Elvis phase? 1.2782 0.04695 133 102 25 6
1200 He does it for the chicks. 1.2781 0.04322 151 115 30 6
1201 I'm hoping he'll feather my nest. 1.2778 0.05556 108 85 16 7
1202 Now that we are off the endangered species list, he's moved on to the next big challenge. 1.2778 0.05235 108 83 20 5
1203 It's just so embarrassing, everyone already knows he's a bald eagle 1.2778 0.04971 144 115 18 11
1204 He'd have a much better chance with me if he lost the rug and laid off the cheeseburgers! 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1205 And people are saying the bald eagle is going extinct. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1206 The old bird isn't fooling anybody. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1207 He's still bald. 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
1208 That’s a cardinal sin. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
1209 Is he a Mod or Hawk-er? 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1210 A toupee? Really? Aren’t we supposed to be bald? 1.2772 0.05822 101 80 14 7
1211 So the symbol for America is a guy with a toupee? 1.2770 0.04680 148 116 23 9
1212 You'd think he'd remember why they call us bald eagles. 1.2769 0.04635 130 99 26 5
1213 It's how he evades the National Geographic paparazzi 1.2769 0.04762 130 100 24 6
1214 It’s real and it’s fabulous. 1.2768 0.05107 112 86 21 5
1215 From DDT and hunters, sure, but they can’t protect us from ourselves. 1.2766 0.05327 94 71 20 3
1216 It's probably not even real. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
1217 Still bald. 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
1218 Of course he used to be a bald eagle, but now he identifies as a mullet. 1.2764 0.05202 123 97 18 8
1219 It’s a cover-up for a failed hair transplant.” 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
1220 Dad thinks the toupe makes him look Presidential. 1.2762 0.05661 105 83 15 7
1221 I know, but he’s humming ‘Pretty Woman’. It’s gotta be him. 1.2762 0.05152 105 80 21 4
1222 Father's really gone out on a limb this time. 1.2762 0.05152 105 80 21 4
1223 Harry could just never accept that he`s a bald eagle" 1.2761 0.04784 134 104 23 7
1224 Preening works, but wait till he molts. 1.2761 0.04900 134 105 21 8
1225 He's been in denial ever since he heard what they were calling us. 1.2759 0.04320 145 110 30 5
1226 That my pillow guy really went for it didn't he? 1.2759 0.04834 116 88 24 4
1227 Remember, he's not only the President of the company, but he's a client also. 1.2759 0.05135 116 90 20 6
1228 But how does he put it on? 1.2759 0.05135 116 90 20 6
1229 One soaring dive for a mouse and that thing is coming off, guarantee. 1.2759 0.05279 116 91 18 7
1230 You tell him. 1.2759 0.04208 145 109 32 4
1231 HE JUST GOT TIRED OF THAT PEACOCK BALD-SHAMING HIM 1.2756 0.05205 127 101 17 9
1232 ‘Beats a mo-hawk.’ 1.2756 0.04959 127 99 21 7
1233 But can he move like Jagger? 1.2756 0.05084 127 100 19 8
1234 Stanley's been hanging out in the Hamptons. 1.2755 0.05942 98 78 13 7
1235 Seriously, what's next? A Talon-cure? 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1236 He's a jailhouse hawk. 1.2754 0.04456 138 105 28 5
1237 The bald eagle expert from the Audubon Society is coming to check him out. They think it's a toupee too. 1.2754 0.04456 138 105 28 5
1238 Sure we're Bald Eagles. But see! Now we don't have to be. 1.2754 0.04908 138 109 20 9
1239 What do you think? should we ask for his autograph? 1.2752 0.05193 109 84 20 5
1240 He's in denial 1.2752 0.05027 109 83 22 4
1241 I bet he's a bald eagle. 1.2752 0.04855 109 82 24 3
1242 He thinks no one can tell it's a toupe. 1.2752 0.05510 109 86 16 7
1243 It's called BALD eagle for a reason. 1.2750 0.05288 120 95 17 8
1244 It’ll come off in the birdbath. 1.2750 0.04728 120 91 25 4
1245 He likes the Elvis look. 1.2750 0.04422 120 89 29 2
1246 Hey babe,meet my cousin Elvis! 1.2748 0.04853 131 102 22 7
1247 He's worn it ever since he flew over Graceland. 1.2748 0.04605 131 100 26 5
1248 Frankly, I preferred his comb over. 1.2747 0.05649 91 70 17 4
1249 Chicks seem to dig it. 1.2746 0.04486 142 109 27 6
1250 Of course it's a wig, we're bald eagles for Christ's sake. 1.2746 0.04808 142 112 21 9
1251 He's got a nice nest in Las Vegas and his face is on the $10,000 dollar chip. 1.2746 0.04486 142 109 27 6
1252 He called me pretty momma 1.2745 0.05601 102 80 16 6
1253 His shrink says it's the Liberace Complex. 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
1254 Angela, I told you not to take him to see the Elvis movie… 1.2745 0.05424 102 79 18 5
1255 She is undergoing transgender hormone treatments. 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
1256 He's not only the Bird Hair Club president, he's also a client. 1.2743 0.05370 113 89 17 7
1257 You should see his Elvis impressions! 1.2742 0.04768 124 95 24 5
1258 He figured out to become endangered again 1.2742 0.05290 124 99 16 9
1259 I told you , I can spot one of those a mile away! 1.2742 0.05164 124 98 18 8
1260 Since he became an Elvis impersonator, he has been too good for us. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1261 He never got used to being a bald eagle. 1.2740 0.04613 146 114 24 8
1262 Now he thinks he’s a big wig! 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
1263 He says it helps him pick up chicks. 1.2736 0.05110 106 81 21 4
1264 He's dating again. 1.2735 0.04562 117 90 23 4
1265 You can't even escape Elvis impersonators; even here. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
1266 Ever since he changed the color from orange to black he seems much more patriotic. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
1267 And I'm telling you, he's ashamed to be bald ever since he started dating that harpy Priscilla. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
1268 So what are they? A "full-head-of-hair" eagle? 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
1269 The stigma of baldness just got to him. 1.2734 0.04668 128 98 25 5
1270 Junior's got a gig as an Elvis impersonator. 1.2734 0.04798 128 99 23 6
1271 Wonder if he can shake his hips like Elvis too. 1.2734 0.05169 128 102 17 9
1272 He swears it's not a comb over. 1.2734 0.04544 139 107 26 6
1273 He got tired of birders calling him a 'bald eagle.' 1.2733 0.04427 150 116 27 7
1274 Bald is beautiful 1.2727 0.05279 132 107 14 11
1275 Elvis wants a Cracker. 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
1276 Really? That is SO fake 1.2727 0.04979 121 94 21 6
1277 Mating season seems to come earlier every year. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
1278 He wants to be called a Hairy Eagle?! 1.2727 0.04699 132 102 24 6
1279 He’s kinda cute, but I think it’s a toupee, whata you think? 1.2727 0.04939 132 104 20 8
1280 Don't you think the mullet would have looked a lot better? 1.2727 0.04939 132 104 20 8
1281 He looks different than his social media. 1.2727 0.04979 121 94 21 6
1282 I don’t think the comb-over will help win the election. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1283 I'm impressed, he's really been branching out! 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1284 I keep telling him it means white, but he's so sensitive. 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1285 Every family has a weird uncle. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
1286 And you're asking me why we're on the edge of extinction? 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
1287 Land of the brave, home of the free, rug of the month. 1.2727 0.05055 132 105 18 9
1288 He’s trying to pick up a cockatoo. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1289 Vegas! 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
1290 Someone should tell Frank that a toupet is not suitable for courtship display. 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1291 He stole it off of an Elvis impersonator. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1292 Peacock envy 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1293 His confidence has soared. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1294 He's not only the President of the Hair Club for Birds, he's also a customer." 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1295 Hide the chicks 1.2720 0.04735 125 96 24 5
1296 We'll be fine. Evolution doesn't have an electoral college. 1.2720 0.05128 125 99 18 8
1297 Wait until he dives at full speed. 1.2720 0.04307 125 93 30 2
1298 Do you think he knows it's obvious? 1.2719 0.04709 114 86 25 3
1299 It was his breakfast rabbit. 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
1300 Jeremy's no longer a bald eagle 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
1301 I didn't know he was a Republican. 1.2719 0.05472 114 91 15 8
1302 Something’s different, but I can’t put my talon on it. 1.2718 0.04818 103 77 24 2
1303 He wants to be a Fashion Influencer. It'll never fly. 1.2718 0.05378 103 80 18 5
1304 Now he’s a chick magnet. 1.2718 0.05012 103 78 22 3
1305 I think Frank is going through a mid-life crisis. 1.2714 0.04628 140 109 24 7
1306 Well, since my baby left me Well, I found a new place to dwell Well, it's down at the end of Lonely Street At Hawkbreak Hotel 1.2714 0.04628 140 109 24 7
1307 He’s always preferred The King over The Eagles 1.2713 0.04505 129 98 27 4
1308 See! I told you Elvis was alive! 1.2713 0.04766 129 100 23 6
1309 He's the only remaining comb-over. 1.2713 0.04637 129 99 25 5
1310 It's got to be a wig. 1.2713 0.04891 129 101 21 7
1311 Rather than fly south to Florida, he prefers to spend his winters in Memphis. 1.2713 0.04368 129 97 29 3
1312 He thinks 'bald' turns off too many chicks. 1.2713 0.04766 129 100 23 6
1313 He has been soaring more majestically. 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1314 Since his wife gave him that thing, her egg output has doubled. 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 24 4
1315 The comb over is so 80's. 1.2712 0.04609 118 89 26 3
1316 He wants me to get a tramp stamp. 1.2712 0.05337 118 94 16 8
1317 His mother was a Graceland hen from Memphis. 1.2712 0.04609 118 89 26 3
1318 He always puts that on for the mating season. 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1319 You know, I think I actually preferred the mullet. 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
1320 Ya either a bald eagle, or ya ain't a bald eagle? 1.2708 0.04431 144 111 27 6
1321 A beak job usually follows. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
1322 He claims to be Elvis incarnate. Thank you very much! 1.2708 0.05826 96 76 14 6
1323 Better than the combover he had. 1.2707 0.05021 133 106 18 9
1324 ... and yet he thinks we can't tell. 1.2705 0.04804 122 94 23 5
1325 If word gets out, our species is doomed! 1.2705 0.05339 122 98 15 9
1326 He is not handling this ‘empty nester’ thing well 1.2705 0.04661 122 93 25 4
1327 Elvis has pooped on the building. 1.2705 0.05339 122 98 15 9
1328 He not fooling anyone but himself. 1.2705 0.05210 122 97 17 8
1329 Should we tell him? 1.2703 0.04948 111 85 22 4
1330 Be supportive, he identifies as a Hairy Woodpecker. 1.2703 0.05422 111 88 16 7
1331 They said we’re making a comeback. Do you think he misunderstood? 1.2703 0.05422 111 88 16 7
1332 He saw it on 'Flocks News'. 1.2701 0.04804 137 108 21 8
1333 Sharon told him she didn't go for bald eagles anymore 1.2701 0.04576 137 106 25 6
1334 He fancies himself the King. 1.2698 0.05214 126 101 16 9
1335 Remember when we were still balding eagles? 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1336 If he dyes it orange maybe he can be our next President! 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1337 He thinks it makes him look like Joe Pesci. 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1338 I bet he can't name three Elvis songs. 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1339 He thinks nobody will know. 1.2697 0.04570 152 120 23 9
1340 Eddie, it’s either an Orange Crested Trumpeter…or a bald eagle with a wig… 1.2696 0.05429 115 92 15 8
1341 Now he looks like a turkey. 1.2696 0.04674 115 87 25 3
1342 Yes, he looks good on a perch but whenever he dives it flies off and ruins everything. 1.2692 0.05333 104 81 18 5
1343 Don't read too much into it. He calls everybody "my little chickadee." 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
1344 He prematurely molted. 1.2692 0.05213 130 105 15 10
1345 Are you going to tell him? Or is it my turn? 1.2690 0.04617 145 114 23 8
1346 He says it takes months off his life. 1.2689 0.04728 119 91 24 4
1347 What makes him so special? I can rock in the tree tops all the day long too. 1.2689 0.05021 119 93 20 6
1348 Yeah, I know it’s shocking- he’s been wearing it since he bit Donald Trump. 1.2689 0.05161 119 94 18 7
1349 Maybe it's intuition, but I feel like he's seeing some bird on the side. 1.2687 0.04389 134 102 28 4
1350 Sure, he looks good, but would he help out sitting on the nest? 1.2687 0.04757 134 105 22 7
1351 He's taking this " Elvis thing" too seriously! 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1352 I caught his act. 1.2685 0.04853 108 82 23 3
1353 I'm just not sure the world is ready for squawkabilly. 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
1354 It's your turn to tell Jim that he isn't a hound dog. 1.2683 0.04628 123 94 25 4
1355 Has he sent his daily tweets to his flock? 1.2683 0.04628 123 94 25 4
1356 Every Halloween he does this Elvis thing and wins first prize 1.2683 0.05042 123 97 19 7
1357 Your turn 1.2683 0.04482 123 93 27 3
1358 It makes sense when you see him playing a guitar. 1.2683 0.04770 123 95 23 5
1359 That look doesn’t fly with me. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1360 Covering up insecurities IS pretty patriotic in a way. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1361 Ever since he got that Elvis toupee he has been insufferable. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1362 Some symbol of America he is! 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1363 Not to mention he’s dating a chick half his age. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1364 Birds can have a Mid Life Crisis. 1.2677 0.04802 127 99 22 6
1365 Of course his name is Elvis. Why am I not surprised? 1.2677 0.04802 127 99 22 6
1366 At least we convinced him to ditch the Orange one 1.2677 0.04930 127 100 20 7
1367 I’m sure it’s a comb over 1.2676 0.04347 142 109 28 5
1368 Well, he's trying to set a new standard for the national symbol 1.2673 0.04852 101 76 23 2
1369 He’s hoping to attract a cougar. 1.2673 0.05245 101 78 19 4
1370 Just tell him that you want him, you need him, and you love him. 1.2673 0.05430 101 79 17 5
1371 He looks like he thinks he is entitled 1.2672 0.04640 116 88 25 3
1372 Look what landed on his head. 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1373 I tried to tell him it's just what some humans call us. 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1374 So he's just an eagle now? 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
1375 Is that a nest on his head 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
1376 I keep trying to tell him it's just a name, but he won't listen. 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1377 He has a million subscribers. 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1378 You should see his orange toupee! 1.2672 0.04825 131 103 21 7
1379 How's that going to look when he gets in the jetstream? 1.2672 0.04825 131 103 21 7
1380 There's something different about Mary. 1.2672 0.04945 131 104 19 8
1381 He expects America will be great again, again. 1.2671 0.04157 146 111 31 4
1382 Worst comb-over ever. 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1383 Now, who gets stoned? 1.2667 0.05193 90 68 20 2
1384 Don’t judge him until you hear ‘Love me tender’ 1.2667 0.04694 120 92 24 4
1385 He may look like Elvis, but he don't SING like Elvis! 1.2667 0.05257 120 96 16 8
1386 In homage to Zelenskyy. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1387 Will this affect our species? 1.2667 0.05624 105 84 14 7
1388 It’s crazy what going vegan can do to your head. 1.2667 0.04740 105 79 24 2
1389 And he wonders why he can't get a date. 1.2667 0.04929 105 80 22 3
1390 He said he identifies as a Hummingbird now 1.2662 0.04852 139 111 19 9
1391 Ever since he got the you know what. He's been you know what. 1.2661 0.04737 124 96 23 5
1392 He claims his good looks saved us from extinction. 1.2661 0.04737 124 96 23 5
1393 Try flying with that thing on. 1.2661 0.04873 124 97 21 6
1394 The Elvis has landed. 1.2661 0.05475 109 87 15 7
1395 We may be birds of a feather,but he likes to stand out. 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
1396 He can't wear that and still want to be called the national bird. 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
1397 He may be handsome, but he’s not very good in the nest. 1.2661 0.05475 109 87 15 7
1398 He must be running for office. 1.2661 0.04814 109 83 23 3
1399 He tweeted that he's the reincarnation of Elvis. 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
1400 Definitely a rug. 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
1401 That high-pitched squawk will take some getting used to ..... 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1402 You know Miguel was never comfortable being a bald eagle. From as early as I can remember he flew with a totally different crowd. 1.2655 0.05336 113 90 16 7
1403 He says it's his "thinking-cap" for telepathically declassifying Top-Secret documents. 1.2655 0.05186 113 89 18 6
1404 He didn’t like the adjective. 1.2655 0.04872 113 87 22 4
1405 Clearly he's not from our branch of the family. 1.2655 0.04872 113 87 22 4
1406 He’s lookin’ fly… hah 1.2653 0.05720 98 78 14 6
1407 Her therapist thought it might assist with her transitioning 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
1408 Through fans like him, the spirit of Elvis will never die. 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
1409 And he’s started shaking his tail feather every time he screeches… 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1410 I cant stand it - he thinks it makes him look more patriotic. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1411 I don't think I want to be the national bird anymore. 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1412 So far as I'm concerned, the hair-piece eagle is not as rare as it ought to be. 1.2650 0.05206 117 93 17 7
1413 Got tired of being confused with a Bald Eagle! 1.2647 0.05561 102 81 15 6
1414 Elvis has flown out of the building. 1.2647 0.04810 136 108 20 8
1415 Winters at Graceland. 1.2647 0.05383 102 80 17 5
1416 If you think that's weird, you should see him wearing blue suede shoes. 1.2647 0.05009 102 78 21 3
1417 Not only that...he just picked up a guitar 1.2645 0.04806 121 94 22 5
1418 I wonder with all the money spent on the hair, he still has enough to pay the lawyers? 1.2645 0.05218 121 97 16 8
1419 Before Elvis, he always wore a crew cut 1.2645 0.05084 121 96 18 7
1420 Do you want to tell him, or should I? 1.2645 0.04947 121 95 20 6
1421 He claims it’s a hit with all the chicks. 1.2645 0.04806 121 94 22 5
1422 Once the poor guy started growing hair he lost all his confidence. 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1423 I told you not to complement his singing 1.2642 0.04889 106 81 22 3
1424 He thinks it will help him meet chicks. 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1425 I think he's having a flydentity crisis. 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
1426 He refers to himself as the "Millennial Falcon." 1.2640 0.04703 125 97 23 5
1427 It’s all quite sordid, you know. His wife left him for a Golden Eagle 1.2640 0.04703 125 97 23 5
1428 Do I call him Wig Eagle now? 1.2640 0.05098 125 100 17 8
1429 I’ve always said, just go gracefully. 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1430 Is he compensating for something or does he have a date? 1.2639 0.04515 144 113 24 7
1431 He says pompadour is the new bald 1.2637 0.05813 91 72 14 5
1432 It won't catch on at the Treasury. 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
1433 She’s not like other girls 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
1434 I heard he headed the Graceland migration 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
1435 He said he's hoping it helps with his Canadian citizenship. 1.2636 0.04736 129 101 22 6
1436 Big deal. Apparently, I can talk! 1.2636 0.04862 129 102 20 7
1437 Yeah, the Rogaine worked great, but then he had to push it with Giuliani hair dye. 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
1438 It's his mother's. 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
1439 Well, let's put it this way...I don't think they'll be changing our image on the dollar anytime soon. 1.2636 0.04862 129 102 20 7
1440 He’s running for President. 1.2632 0.06386 95 79 7 9
1441 If you want to get on his good side,just mention how presidential you think he looks. 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
1442 You’ve got to admit it makes him look years younger. 1.2632 0.04387 133 102 27 4
1443 So when are you getting yours? 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
1444 Yup retired! No more flying. He’s driving a red Corvette! 1.2632 0.04640 133 104 23 6
1445 He says his name is Elvis. 1.2632 0.04671 114 87 24 3
1446 'The Presley's tried to adopt him." 1.2632 0.04387 133 102 27 4
1447 He bitterly resented being described as a bald eagle. 1.2627 0.05167 118 94 17 7
1448 The Republicans wanted to use him in their ads, but Trump did not like the bald look? 1.2627 0.04572 118 90 25 3
1449 Uh, yea. You can find anything on Amazon… 1.2627 0.05025 118 93 19 6
1450 He never could deal with being bald. 1.2627 0.04878 118 92 21 5
1451 Johnny thinks he's some kind of hawkahawka burning dove. 1.2627 0.04878 118 92 21 5
1452 Someone needs to tell him that we’re not literally bald. 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1453 He says it's natural. He doesn't use hair coloring. At least it's not orange. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
1454 It's not Rogaine. Guess again. 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
1455 He claims his great-grandfather knew the Birdman of Alcatraz." 1.2621 0.05155 103 80 19 4
1456 Oh yeah, that'll really fool the chicks! 1.2621 0.05155 103 80 19 4
1457 Well he ain’t ever caught a rabbit and he ain’t no friebd of mine 1.2621 0.05512 103 82 15 6
1458 The eagle has landed... a new job at Rogaine. 1.2621 0.05155 103 80 19 4
1459 He identifies as a Senator. 1.2621 0.05337 103 81 17 5
1460 That’s my cousin Vinny. He’s dating a young chick. 1.2621 0.05682 103 83 13 7
1461 Do you think we should tell him?! 1.2621 0.04487 145 114 24 7
1462 Quick! Get him a mirror! 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1463 He says he got it at Liberace's estate sale. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1464 He snatched it right off Trump's head. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
1465 Don’t tell him Elvis is dead. 1.2617 0.04405 149 117 25 7
1466 I heard a thousand baby crows died to make it. 1.2615 0.04443 130 100 26 4
1467 He hates being a bald eagle 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
1468 He used to have a comb over 1.2613 0.05386 111 89 15 7
1469 He did it on a dare when we were migrating through Graceland. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1470 He recently got a hair transplant! 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1471 Why? Why won't you let an Elvis impersonator marry us? 1.2613 0.05386 111 89 15 7
1472 Not only is that a wig, he also had a beak job! 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1473 Seriously I think he uses conditioner. 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1474 Locks are his love language.” 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1475 He was Guliani;s bord. 1.2612 0.04729 134 106 21 7
1476 His wig is a bald faced lie. 1.2612 0.04359 134 103 27 4
1477 He heard that guy from the U.S. Mint was in town. 1.2612 0.04486 134 104 25 5
1478 I mean, around these parts, he kind of is the king. 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1479 I don't know...I kinda like it. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1480 We call him the Ego Eagle 1.2609 0.04636 115 88 24 3
1481 What’s a “hound dog?” 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
1482 American toupee, my rear tail feathers, we both know it's made in China. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1483 He says in a former life he was Elvis. Which is kind of sad, cause all he can do now is screech. 1.2609 0.05396 115 93 14 8
1484 Really? Make Eagles Great Again? 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
1485 What the flock? 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1486 I'm waiting for an updraft 1.2609 0.05960 92 74 12 6
1487 I heard he just bought a Porsche 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1488 Nothing attracts me like a great head of nesting material . 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
1489 Seriously? His biggest concern is going bald? 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
1490 HairClub for Birds of Prey. 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
1491 well... look who just got back from Graceland 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
1492 I think becoming a national symbol has gone to his head. 1.2604 0.05969 96 78 11 7
1493 You can always tell the vain ones in the group. 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
1494 Are you gonna tell him he looks like a cockatiel? 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1495 I told you we shouldn’t have named him Elvis. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
1496 Another one lost to Hair Club for Eagles. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
1497 I dunno. It could be the Liberace. Could be the Marv Albert. 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
1498 He also bought a Ferrari and started dating an eagle that could be his daughter. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1499 If we knock off his wig, humans legally can't pick it up. 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
1500 Baldy eagle no more. 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
1501 Vanity of vanities, all is vanity, and there is nothing new under the rug. 1.2596 0.04732 104 79 23 2
1502 Since his baby left him, he's found a new branch to dwell. 1.2596 0.05465 104 83 15 6
1503 It all started when he ate a peanut butter and banana sandwich. 1.2596 0.05465 104 83 15 6
1504 No wonder Mom left!!! 1.2596 0.05112 104 81 19 4
1505 His Mother Was a Hairyer’s Hawk. 1.2595 0.04796 131 104 20 7
1506 I think I heard his mother say she wanted him to be some kind of a Cardinal 1.2595 0.04796 131 104 20 7
1507 He's had this Liberace thing going on for a while now. 1.2595 0.04414 131 101 26 4
1508 "He does Elvis videos for Tik Tok. 1.2593 0.04810 108 83 22 3
1509 He’s always been an Elvis fan. 1.2593 0.04698 135 107 21 7
1510 He was hired to do a Trump campaign video. They said baldness projects weakness. 1.2593 0.05158 108 85 18 5
1511 I'm not sure what he is anymore. 1.2593 0.05158 108 85 18 5
1512 Donald believes it makes him more virile, more attractive, more intelligent. He’s always had an unusual relationship with reality. 1.2593 0.05483 108 87 14 7
1513 He needs it on his chest, not his head. 1.2590 0.04373 139 108 26 5
1514 If he gets the gig, they’re going to have change all the flagpoles. 1.2590 0.04490 139 109 24 6
1515 He's practicing his Elvis crone. 1.2589 0.04871 112 87 21 4
1516 Most of us get over it… 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1517 He flew in from Vegas last night. 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1518 Some people just can't accept that they're bald. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
1519 It's a Magabird. You can tell by their distinctive toupees. 1.2586 0.05492 116 95 12 9
1520 ' I heard he has candelabra in his nest." 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
1521 He can wear all the wigs he wants to, nobody's going to stop calling him bald. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
1522 Don't say anything. He thinks he looks ten years younger. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
1523 He’s not just an eagle, he’s also a customer. 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
1524 He just turned fifty. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
1525 What other hairbrained ideas do you think he’ll come up with? 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
1526 I guess Elvis has left the building. 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
1527 Well, I think he looks quite rugged. 1.2583 0.04506 120 92 25 3
1528 I liked him better when he was bald. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
1529 He shows up at all the karaoke nests around here. 1.2583 0.04348 120 91 27 2
1530 Yeah, it looks stupid, but he won the Elvis contest in Vegas. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1531 "They told him it's a more humane tracking method than banding." 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1532 Don't you think it's a little too obvious? 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1533 Elvis look alike, my tail feathers 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1534 Well at least it isn't orange, like the other guy's" 1.2578 0.04738 128 101 21 6
1535 You should see him shake his tail feather. 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1536 He's been listening to the vulture's music. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
1537 He's a rock star, Sweety. You'd look ridiculous 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
1538 It's so off brand you might think irony, but I don't think that's what he's going for. 1.2577 0.05728 97 78 13 6
1539 He's a real chick magnet. 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1540 I say carpet diem! 1.2576 0.04764 132 105 20 7
1541 He's at the age that he needs to do a feather comb over. 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
1542 He’s going through a mid-flight crisis. 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
1543 He’s asked that we call him Bold Eagle. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
1544 He's not only the owner, he's also a client. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
1545 He’ll never pull off a full Elvis with that beak of his. 1.2571 0.05246 105 83 17 5
1546 He said "No I'm not. I *was* bald. 1.2571 0.05418 105 84 15 6
1547 For his 30th reunion he got Botox. 1.2569 0.04379 144 113 25 6
1548 Let’s use his hair for our nest. 1.2569 0.04402 109 82 26 1
1549 Are you going to tell him he looks like Wayne Newton, or am I? 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1550 He has delusions of Elvis 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1551 Are you sure we're related? 1.2569 0.04591 109 83 24 2
1552 You don't need an Eagle eye, to spot that thing on his head. 1.2566 0.05149 113 90 17 6
1553 He's wearing a slug. 1.2566 0.05149 113 90 17 6
1554 Trump is bald, you know. 1.2566 0.04993 113 89 19 5
1555 And for some reason, he wants us to call him "Liberace." 1.2566 0.04833 113 88 21 4
1556 With a wig like that he’s gonna have hell toupee. 1.2566 0.04494 113 86 25 2
1557 I say he's wearing a rug. 1.2566 0.04993 113 89 19 5
1558 Same feathers but we won’t flock together 1.2566 0.04833 113 88 21 4
1559 It's between a comb over and a come over 1.2566 0.04666 113 87 23 3
1560 Just listen to him. It's obvious he's not the real Elvis. 1.2564 0.04879 117 92 20 5
1561 He said he loves being an Eagle, but he hates being bald. 1.2564 0.04726 117 91 22 4
1562 He just flew in; says he's looking for his own sanctuary. 1.2564 0.04879 117 92 20 5
1563 I didn't vote for him then and I'm not voting for him now. 1.2564 0.04726 117 91 22 4
1564 He’s dating a hot chick 1.2564 0.04253 156 123 26 7
1565 He thinks he'll get more chicks this way. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1566 He said he's just quietly quitting. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1567 He took the "bald" part really personally 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
1568 He looks like an ass with that rug in his head. Not an Eagle. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1569 The First Amendment has clearly gone to his head. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
1570 Should we tell him it's a Trump comb-over? 1.2558 0.04832 129 103 19 7
1571 He hasn't taken that wig off ever since he got back from seeing Elvis. 1.2558 0.04705 129 102 21 6
1572 Don't fall for it. It's fake! 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
1573 But you don't notice when I do my talons. 1.2558 0.04440 129 100 25 4
1574 French eagles prefer a toupee 1.2556 0.04967 133 108 16 9
1575 He thought he would pick up more chicks if he wasn’t bald. 1.2555 0.04275 137 106 27 4
1576 Not gonna help him get the worm, Norman. 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
1577 Gary wears a toupee. 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
1578 In retrospect, Ben Franklin was probably right. 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
1579 Yo, I know his hair is weird but what's up with the leaves? 1.2551 0.05676 98 79 13 6
1580 He knows we are supposed to be bald eagles right? 1.2551 0.05089 98 76 19 3
1581 I mean, who does he think he's kidding? It's right in the goddamned name. 1.2549 0.05155 102 80 18 4
1582 He lived in Nashville, what can I say. 1.2549 0.05340 102 81 16 5
1583 Who judges these captions? Some of them are not funny.Do,they just grab a bunch and pick three and go to lunch. 1.2549 0.05518 102 82 14 6
1584 Where's his guitar? 1.2549 0.05340 102 81 16 5
1585 Much better than the Greek fisherman's cap from last week. 1.2549 0.05155 102 80 18 4
1586 ...and he just bought a nest in Williamsburg. 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1587 I'm doing all the lake fish diving because he doesn't want to get his new toupe wet. 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1588 Remember when being a Bald Eagle got you laid? 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1589 It's his mission to make eagles bold again. 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
1590 It's ever since he announced his candidacy for President. 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1591 Nice do, but have you heard his a cappella voice?! 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1592 He’s a balding eagle 1.2547 0.04845 106 82 21 3
1593 I heard he works as an Elvis impersonator on the weekends. 1.2545 0.05236 110 88 16 6
1594 We’re black and white so they can’t tell his comb-over is orange. 1.2545 0.05393 110 89 14 7
1595 He said something about wanting to make America gyrate again. 1.2545 0.04907 110 86 20 4
1596 Toupee eagle just doesn't sound as good. 1.2545 0.04907 110 86 20 4
1597 So now Elvis is our National Bird? 1.2545 0.04555 110 84 24 2
1598 Don't be fooled. His wife got the nest and the eggs. 1.2545 0.05236 110 88 16 6
1599 Being the national bird doesn't make him "king," ya know! 1.2545 0.04907 110 86 20 4
1600 It's not exactly a thinking cap. 1.2545 0.05393 110 89 14 7
1601 Yeah right! like no one can tell 1.2545 0.04907 110 86 20 4
1602 Why don't you explain to him male baldness is genetic. 1.2544 0.05109 114 91 17 6
1603 But when he does a fly over,the comb over goes the wrong way. 1.2542 0.04371 118 90 26 2
1604 Underneath it all, he’s still a bald eagle. 1.2542 0.04690 118 92 22 4
1605 I heard he's dating again. 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
1606 I wanted to do the same migration as last year, but no, you insisted we go a little farther south of the border. 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
1607 He recently saw a flock of seagulls. 1.2542 0.05272 118 96 14 8
1608 He’d like to be a northern harrier. 1.2541 0.04737 122 96 21 5
1609 Do you think a midlife crisis is inevitable in this economy? 1.2541 0.04878 122 97 19 6
1610 He didn’t have that much hair in high school 1.2540 0.04499 126 98 24 4
1611 He sits under that leaf so he won't look bald. 1.2540 0.04904 126 101 18 7
1612 Yeah, but he still nests with his mother… 1.2540 0.04355 126 97 26 3
1613 It looks more like a hare than hair. 1.2538 0.05041 130 106 15 9
1614 I wish they'd rerun that Hitchcock movie about us 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
1615 He sat atop the flagpole at Mar-a-Lago 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
1616 Who doesn't love a good paradigm shift? 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
1617 When we head south he wants to stop off In Memphis! 1.2527 0.06171 91 75 9 7
1618 They didn’t have an orange one. 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
1619 What a shame. Premature hair growth runs in his family. 1.2527 0.05970 91 74 11 6
1620 One peck and I'm off with his rug. 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
1621 That's global warming for you. Stuff grows where it's not supposed to. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1622 Chicks go wild over him. 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
1623 That boy is looking pretty fly. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
1624 Well it did help him land a job with cable news. 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
1625 He actually looked worse when he tried the comb-over. 1.2524 0.04411 103 80 21 2
1626 I told you Elvis wasn’t dead. 1.2524 0.05470 103 83 14 6
1627 He's been wearing it ever since he learned to sing Heartbreak Hotel. 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
1628 That’s George. He couln’t grow a duck tail. 1.2524 0.04921 103 80 20 3
1629 It gets worse…moving to Memphis. 1.2524 0.05470 103 83 14 6
1630 Great hair, good abs, and, he's available. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
1631 Don't fly over the cuckoo's nest 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1632 Think he’ll run in 2024? 1.2523 0.04423 107 81 25 1
1633 You can totally tell that it's fake. 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
1634 I guess the mating call just wasn't working for him anymore. 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1635 I miss Prince, too, but..." 1.2523 0.04519 111 85 24 2
1636 He wants to be the national bird. 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
1637 Next, he's getting an orange tan. 1.2522 0.05217 115 93 15 7
1638 I suggested orange, but he thought he would be even more endangered. 1.2522 0.05069 115 92 17 6
1639 Wow, I think it’s Eaglebird Humperdinck. 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
1640 Does he think we don't notice? 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
1641 Still don’t believe in evolution 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
1642 His mother was a Bald Eagle, so genetics was against him. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1643 Does he think we’re blind eagles? 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1644 Harold has decided to ditch the bald eagle look. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1645 Looks like Brian finally got on Tinder. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1646 We just call him, "The Donald." 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1647 He's convinced it looks like natural feathers. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1648 The worst part is that he didn't even bother to get one that was made in the U.S. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1649 Now, there's a mullet that's bad for your digestion. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1650 The word ‘bald’ is right in the name.” 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1651 It works! The prairie dogs think he's just a duck. 1.2520 0.04978 123 99 17 7
1652 I suppose the combover was worse, but really? 1.2520 0.04703 123 97 21 5
1653 Yeah, that’s new… A little bird told me he’s got his eye on a cockatoo 10 years his junior 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1654 He thinks it makes him look "not bald." 1.2520 0.04869 127 102 18 7
1655 He wanted a new look, but there was Hell toupee. 1.2520 0.04996 127 103 16 8
1656 DONALD'S DYE JOB IS NOT PARTICULARLY SEXY. NEITHER ARE HIS SMALL CLAWS. 1.2519 0.04888 131 106 17 8
1657 And he STILL wants federal protection. 1.2519 0.04786 135 109 18 8
1658 Yeah, he's dating a crested grouse half his age 1.2500 0.05152 112 90 16 6
1659 He’s just messing with the birdwatchers. 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
1660 He thinks he is the reincarnation of Elvis. 1.2500 0.04766 108 84 21 3
1661 Now thats an american eagle! (elvis voice) “uh huh huhh” 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
1662 John wants to get a job in Vegas. 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
1663 And here I thought he was just another transplant from up north .. 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
1664 He keeps saying he’s the reincarnation of someone named Elvis… 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1665 He loses one every time he dives for fish. 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1666 Try not to stare at the toupee. 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
1667 I guess being a bald eagle just wasn't his thing. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1668 I tried to feed it to the kids and now he's not talking to me. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
1669 It doesn't even match her breast feathers! 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
1670 He's gunning for the Audubon centerfield. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
1671 He promised me he'd look more masculine. I'm still waiting! 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
1672 He said he wants to make America great again. 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1673 at least it's not an orange comb-over. 1.2500 0.05306 112 91 14 7
1674 A comb-over wasn't good enough for him! 1.2500 0.04638 136 109 20 7
1675 He says it makes him feel younger. 1.2500 0.04754 136 110 18 8
1676 He was the front man of the Eagles... 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
1677 Looks like Samson found a new stylist. 1.2500 0.05177 116 94 15 7
1678 That must be a Hairis Hawk. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
1679 Ever since he's back, it's always, "Viva Las Vegas" 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1680 Birds of a feather clearly don't style hair together. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1681 It's dngerous not to have a partner. Without one you can't be the "two in the bush." 1.2500 0.04352 132 103 25 4
1682 Notice there’s very little on his chest. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1683 Elvis the Eagle has just left the nest! 1.2500 0.04397 136 107 24 5
1684 Another endangered animal swept under the rug.” 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1685 Hope is the thing with feathers! You can say that again. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1686 No, he can't play guitar, but then, neither could Elvis 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1687 Now do you see why I think he's planning to run for office? 1.2500 0.05389 100 80 15 5
1688 I think he's pandering to his MAGA base. 1.2500 0.04394 116 89 25 2
1689 He also still calls us 'chicks.' 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1690 He's been dating a titmouse. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1691 Love Me Tender" is what he. said 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1692 He only sings showtunes. 1.2500 0.05000 100 78 19 3
1693 "It's a midlife crisis. He's all shook up. 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
1694 I heard it wasn’t even made in America 1.2500 0.05116 108 86 17 5
1695 It's true; we're no longer flocking together. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
1696 He's Jewish 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1697 I always said he'd do anything to date a Golden Eagle 1.2500 0.04807 124 99 19 6
1698 I don't care. I'm still calling him a bald eagle. 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1699 He certainly isn’t a BALD eagle. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
1700 And now he thinks he should be on the one-dollar bill. 1.2500 0.04911 96 74 20 2
1701 He's taken us to another level-pompadour and circumstance. 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
1702 He keeps saying “Make eagles great again.” 1.2483 0.04558 149 121 19 9
1703 He not only owns the Avian Bird Hair Club but he's a member! 1.2481 0.04453 133 105 23 5
1704 Whadda yeh think, worst comb-over ever? 1.2481 0.04579 133 106 21 6
1705 not only can he fly but you should see him shake his booty. 1.2480 0.04636 125 99 21 5
1706 He's my sweet tweet treat, if you catch my drift. 1.2480 0.04636 125 99 21 5
1707 He's actually nothing but a hound dog. 1.2480 0.04636 125 99 21 5
1708 He's ruining our reputation. 1.2480 0.04773 125 100 19 6
1709 Hey look, it's Elvis Preys-ley. 1.2480 0.04773 125 100 19 6
1710 He’s the rebel of the family 1.2480 0.05036 125 102 15 8
1711 It's karaoke tonight. Other than that, who knows? 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
1712 He’s thinking of chirping in Vegas 1.2479 0.04588 121 95 22 4
1713 Don't mention it . Unlike us he's embarrassed by being a bald eagle. 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
1714 That, my friend, is the very rare Pompadour Eagle. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1715 He grew tired of living a life that was a bald-faced lie. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1716 He said it's called a 'hair system'. 1.2478 0.05111 113 91 16 6
1717 Wow. Talk about “Desperado”. 1.2478 0.05411 113 93 12 8
1718 I told him that he looks better bald. 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
1719 Technically he's still bald right? 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
1720 "Look, a comb over eagle," said no one ever. 1.2478 0.04624 113 88 22 3
1721 Didn't he leave the building? 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
1722 He thinks he's exy, but he's not. 1.2478 0.04450 113 87 24 2
1723 YES,HE CAN SING...BUT CAN HE WIGGLE HIS TAILFEATHERS?? 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
1724 Since he has been going to concerts as a soloist, he has grown a new hairstyle. 1.2478 0.05111 113 91 16 6
1725 At least it doesn't look like something he fished out of the river. 1.2477 0.05399 109 89 13 7
1726 Actually, he's got a full heard of hair. He just wears that rug so we'll think he's bald. 1.2477 0.04544 109 84 23 2
1727 So far, maybe. But a pelvis? A guitar? Not gonna happen. 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1728 He saw a hound dog and something in him sparked. 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1729 He still thinks bald eagles are on the endangered list. 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
1730 If that isn't the king of the jungle. 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
1731 Rug? He’s looking for the young chicks. 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
1732 He thinks our name is offensive. 1.2477 0.04544 109 84 23 2
1733 He thinks it will help him pick up younger prey 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
1734 The Pentagon has started supplying Russian birds with stool softener. 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
1735 He winters around Graceland. 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1736 He's migrating to an aviary in South Florida. 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1737 He's no bald eagle - unAmerican! 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1738 Ok, but "cracker" will get you into very hot water these days. 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1739 It's a toupee. It's called the empty nest syndrome. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1740 He takes everything so literally. 1.2476 0.04645 105 81 22 2
1741 Something strange happened to him after he bit Donald Trump. 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
1742 If you think that’s bad, until you hear his stance on migration. 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
1743 ...and he's a vegan too! 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
1744 he always hated being called a bald eagle! 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
1745 he wants us to refer to him as a coiffured eagle" 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
1746 Rug or no rug, everyone knows that he’s still a bird brain. 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
1747 I told him a million times, “It’s just a stupid name!” 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
1748 But can he play the guitar? 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
1749 He’s going out to pick up some chicks. 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
1750 Don't mention it, or we're all endangered. 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1751 Also an election denier -- coincidence? 1.2473 0.06240 93 78 7 8
1752 He's a bird watched. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1753 Looks like he's going through his Liberace phase. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
1754 He always plays that trump card!! 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
1755 Looks like Elvis hasn’t left the building. 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
1756 And just like that, he’s invented a new species 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
1757 He knows everyone knows so the question is, why does he do it? 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
1758 Walt thinks himself a hunka hunka burning love... 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
1759 He became the national bird of Graceland 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
1760 You have to stoop pretty low to come up with a rug! 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
1761 He's so vain. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
1762 He calls it "Beyond Bald" 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
1763 Trust me, it's a toupee. 1.2463 0.04670 134 108 19 7
1764 How long is he going to brood about the inevitable? 1.2462 0.04641 130 104 20 6
1765 Is THIS how bald eagles become extinct? 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
1766 He’s the national bird of Italy. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
1767 No he is not a new species. He just thinks it looks cool. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
1768 Wouldn't something made of feathers be less obvious? 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
1769 Now he only chirps, MAGA,MAGA,MAGA. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
1770 He will probably change his name next. 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
1771 Let’s be groupies. 1.2459 0.04403 122 95 24 3
1772 You should see him when he adds the jumpsuit. 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1773 Yeah, his dad was a rooster. 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1774 It’s the official symbol of the country club. 1.2458 0.04329 118 91 25 2
1775 I guess that Rogaine stuff really works for some birds. 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
1776 His beak is an implant too. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
1777 You have to love the duck tail, right? 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
1778 If you think that's ridiculous, wait'll you see the convertible he's driving now. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
1779 Looks like Elvis got a hair hat. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
1780 Well, you tell him. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
1781 Dont say anything about his hat. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1782 Birds of a feather cannot have the same hair together. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
1783 If you're using Just For Birds, you're compensating for something. 1.2455 0.04690 110 86 21 3
1784 I'm so freaking jealous right now. 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
1785 I also went through a phase of denial at that age. 1.2455 0.04690 110 86 21 3
1786 Eddie has been to the salon again. Pretend you don't notice. 1.2453 0.05330 106 86 14 6
1787 It's a used combover cockscomb. 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
1788 Didn't you hear? Elvis is planning to leave the forest." 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
1789 Words matter. You think? 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
1790 I heard he's dating a much younger woman... 1.2453 0.04607 106 82 22 2
1791 He thinks he’s gonna get away with it ... but I can’t wait to see him get taken down for stealing those secret documents and hiding them in his nest. 1.2453 0.05496 106 87 12 7
1792 Minoxidil my ass. 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
1793 And he claims L.A. didn't change him." 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
1794 That’s a quick way to get back on the endangered species list. 1.2451 0.05474 102 83 13 6
1795 Implants 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
1796 Thinks he can avoid extinction. 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
1797 Excuse me, did he just say he's in love...he's all shook up? 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
1798 You can always tell. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
1799 Just a desperate attempt at brand sabotage, I'd say. 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
1800 Since he got his new look he insists I refer to him as just "eagle". 1.2449 0.05439 98 79 14 5
1801 It's for his Tinder photo. 1.2449 0.05439 98 79 14 5
1802 Lesson learned: birds can’t pull of toupees 1.2449 0.05439 98 79 14 5
1803 Toupee or not toupee? 1.2449 0.05439 98 79 14 5
1804 He feels the look is more authentically American. 1.2449 0.04601 98 75 22 1
1805 He identifies as a sea eagle. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
1806 The color comes from berries. I don’t know where he got the Rogaine. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
1807 He thinks the hairpiece will get him to become the new national bird if Trump is re-elected. 1.2449 0.05439 98 79 14 5
1808 His band is called "The Peoples". 1.2449 0.05629 98 80 12 6
1809 Morrie's Wigs don't come off. Even underwater. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
1810 It’s a lot like a bikini on a pigeon, isn’t it? 1.2447 0.05796 94 77 11 6
1811 You know he can no longer fly? 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
1812 He no longer identifies as a bald eagle. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
1813 That's known as the Piece Eagle. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
1814 He's not just the president, he's a member. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
1815 So much for the “bald” eagle 1.2439 0.04667 123 98 20 5
1816 He’s Probably married. 1.2439 0.04217 123 95 26 2
1817 ….and he spends hours each day combing his hair, …. 1.2437 0.05197 119 98 13 8
1818 He thinks that will save himself from being extinct! 1.2437 0.04617 119 94 21 4
1819 I told him it was a can of Rogaine foam, not a fish, but he never listens. 1.2437 0.04297 119 92 25 2
1820 He’s really lowered the bar for the “bird brain” designation. 1.2437 0.04769 119 95 19 5
1821 No it’s not a genetic mutation; he’s just vain. 1.2437 0.05059 119 97 15 7
1822 I heard that he is not just the president of the hair club for eagles- he is a member. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
1823 He thinks it makes him look more regal. 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
1824 His aerie is eerie, too. 1.2435 0.05467 115 96 10 9
1825 Ever since he watched the new Elvis movie he won’t take it off. 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
1826 Don't forget, Franklin WANTED the turkey. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
1827 They’re called breasts and we all have them. 1.2432 0.05610 111 93 9 9
1828 She kicked him out of the nest and he's scavenging for a new mate. 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
1829 Always has been a trendsetter! 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
1830 I bet it was made in China 1.2432 0.04473 111 86 23 2
1831 He’s quite literal. 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
1832 Yeah, well, this eagle dare not tell him what I really think! 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
1833 He's had a rough time with the empty nest since his kids went off to flight school. 1.2432 0.04286 111 85 25 1
1834 You still insist that nothing happened at your office party. 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
1835 I had no idea there was a Hair Club for Birds. 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
1836 Well, he can be mad all he wants, but somebody had to tell him! 1.2430 0.04569 107 83 22 2
1837 I think he misunderstands the term 'fierce' 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
1838 He just saw the Elvis movie. 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
1839 He does a great rendition of Blue Suede Shoes. 1.2430 0.05116 107 86 16 5
1840 That is not how I expected us to go extinct. 1.2430 0.05285 107 87 14 6
1841 The polite term is "influencer" 1.2430 0.04759 107 84 20 3
1842 It’s one thing to hide your baldness— another thing to flaunt it. 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
1843 He says it helps him with the chicks. 1.2430 0.04759 107 84 20 3
1844 It’s not enough he’s on the presidential seal, he wants to be the King, too. 1.2430 0.05285 107 87 14 6
1845 He's touchy about the whole 'bald eagle' thing. 1.2427 0.05426 103 84 13 6
1846 Says he's channeling Aubrey Beardsley. 1.2424 0.04578 132 106 20 6
1847 The funny thing is, we're not. 1.2424 0.04703 132 107 18 7
1848 He's a Trump impersonator 1.2424 0.05759 99 82 10 7
1849 He looks like a cross between Michael Douglas and Elvis!" 1.2424 0.04561 99 76 22 1
1850 Bosely? 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1851 He says it’s given him the confidence to be the Bold Eagle he always was inside. 1.2424 0.04782 99 77 20 2
1852 Now that Hollywood has called, Roy has become absolutely unbearable!! 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1853 He has always had an identity crisis thingy going on his head". 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1854 You tell him his toupee has slipped 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1855 Now he's looking at sports cars. 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
1856 Yes, his barber said he needed to remain relevant. 1.2422 0.04802 128 104 17 7
1857 Check out Seymour. Says he's not only the Hair Club for Eagles president, he's also a client! Looking good, Sy. 1.2422 0.04673 128 103 19 6
1858 He says he's gonna run for President. 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
1859 Will you tell him we're not really bald, or shall I? 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
1860 I'm in the next selfie. 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
1861 She only left him last week, and he's already on the prowl. 1.2419 0.04187 124 96 26 2
1862 That adjective never did seem fair. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
1863 He's got the look down pat. Too bad he can't sing. 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
1864 He is taking the term "Bald Eagle" a little too seriously. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
1865 It doubles as a nest. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
1866 His preying for hair finally paid off. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
1867 Most certainly, it is his choice! I merely suggest that he'd do well to stay out of Trump country. 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
1868 He obviously doesn't know his old English, where balde just means white. 1.2417 0.04879 120 97 17 6
1869 It's part of his embrace of originalism. 1.2414 0.04519 116 91 22 3
1870 It's an old Donald Trmp reject. 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
1871 He thinks no one can tell. 1.2414 0.04519 116 91 22 3
1872 I think he's a closet swan. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1873 he's bald 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
1874 Now that's what I call a Bold Eagle! 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
1875 He grew it long during Covid and then decided he liked it. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
1876 Once the Elvis groupies loved it, he never went back. 1.2411 0.05267 112 92 13 7
1877 He figures a couple of centuries of being put down as "bald" eagles needs a lot to make up for 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
1878 I knew we shouldn’t have eaten those ‘shrooms. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
1879 He's a transhuman... specifically Liberace. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1880 Don't say anything he thinks nobody will notice the wig 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
1881 They say he's from Memphis. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
1882 He must be one of those species deniers. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
1883 I don't care about his lack of experience, I'm voting for him for bird president and you can't talk me out of it. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
1884 Nobody will know. They're gonna know. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
1885 Do you think he even knows? 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
1886 He is a Not Bald Eagle “. “ 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
1887 He has treated us badly ever since he got his hairpiece~ 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
1888 He's always trying to get attention.. 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
1889 I keep telling him, 'Bald is beautiful,' but he doesn't listen. 1.2404 0.04633 104 81 21 2
1890 What next, a pedicure" 1.2400 0.04738 125 101 18 6
1891 Dinner tonight and a snack for lunch? 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
1892 Once an Elvis fan,always an Elvis fan. 1.2400 0.04522 100 77 22 1
1893 Donny says if he can comb it over, he isn’t really bald. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
1894 Ted never could accept the whole "bald" thing. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
1895 You said that the amount of hair I have doesn't matter! 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
1896 This is the moment when he wants to be silent! 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
1897 He said his pronoun is they/them. 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
1898 So, now you never get to complain about having a bad hair day. Understood? 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
1899 You can really only take being called 'bald' for so long. 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
1900 Try not to stare…you know how sensitive Bald Eagles can be” 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
1901 Never trust a male with a rug 1.2397 0.05119 121 100 13 8
1902 Someone told him that baldness was a sign of getting old. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
1903 Wait 'til you see his blue suede shoes. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1904 Don't be jealous, he has so many flyaway hairs 1.2396 0.04854 96 75 19 2
1905 What a turkey.... 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1906 Well, it doesn't take an eagle eye. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1907 Way better than the Elvis we saw in Vegas. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1908 Look who found a sponsor. 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
1909 Want to steal that silly orange wig off his head? 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
1910 His name is Elvis, and they say he can really shake a tailfeather. 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
1911 He's definitely compensating 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
1912 He told me, "What happened in Vegas, stays in Vegas" 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1913 He is a little full of himself. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1914 You were the one who wanted to elope. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1915 Who’s he kidding? 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1916 Rolo got lucky more often before the toupee 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
1917 Ya gotta admit, his Elvis is pretty good. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1918 He wants to be Elvis for Halloween 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1919 Apparently being bald is no longer a thing 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1920 He’s been wigging out a lot lately 1.2389 0.05225 113 93 13 7
1921 Cockatoo to you too! 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
1922 Your father thinks it makes him look younger 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1923 Apparently he just flew back from the City 1.2389 0.05225 113 93 13 7
1924 But does he sing as well as Elvis? 1.2389 0.05225 113 93 13 7
1925 He claims it's a special order from Alopecia's...worth the extra price he had to pay. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1926 His wife recently left him. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1927 He thinks its undetectable. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
1928 I heard they took feathers from his tail… 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1929 He thinks he's Eaglebert Humperdinck 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1930 Get off me, he is mine 1.2385 0.04303 109 84 24 1
1931 It’s a combover. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1932 We’re supposed to be bald for heavens sake! 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1933 He was thinking of coonskin, but settled for skunk. 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
1934 He's always been an odd bird 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
1935 He hasn't tweeted in weeks. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
1936 Traitor to the species or creative self expression, you tell me! 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
1937 Steal it from him and we can use it to line our cage. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
1938 What did papa bird not get. He is my heir. 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
1939 He thinks that rug looks like feathers 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
1940 If he comes over, don’t stare at his toupee. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
1941 I just love the undetectable toupee. 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
1942 He's going to ruin it for all of us. 1.2377 0.04516 122 97 21 4
1943 I can spot a toup' a mile away. 1.2377 0.04946 122 100 15 7
1944 I heard he's had LASIK surgery too. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
1945 Elvis Has left the building 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
1946 The toupee doesn’t fly with me 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
1947 Talk about rejecting your birth name 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
1948 Elvis is in the building. 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
1949 Freedom of the American Idiot 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
1950 He’s tired of pretending to be a bald eagle. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
1951 It’s called the Regal Eagle. 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
1952 He always rebels against labels. 1.2376 0.05655 101 84 10 7
1953 He’s either symbolically poking fun at late-stage capitalism, or he’s going through a midlife crisis. 1.2376 0.04483 101 78 22 1
1954 He ain't nothin but a hound dog. 1.2373 0.04286 118 92 24 2
1955 It makes him look two years younger. 1.2373 0.04286 118 92 24 2
1956 All he needs are sequins and a glitzy piano. 1.2373 0.04451 118 93 22 3
1957 It gets worse, believe me. 1.2373 0.04286 118 92 24 2
1958 And the call him a bird brain! 1.2373 0.04451 118 93 22 3
1959 He'll try anything to get a date with that black-capped chickadee. 1.2373 0.04611 118 94 20 4
1960 It’s funny, I just wouldn’t tweet that. 1.2373 0.04766 118 95 18 5
1961 It's all fun and games until you accidentally soar through an updraft. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
1962 It's not a toupee. He's had a feather transplant. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
1963 He tried to tell me it was evolution. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
1964 I think it looks very pheasant. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
1965 Don't step on his blue suede toupee. 1.2368 0.04874 114 92 17 5
1966 Well, obviously it's fake, but he did get the promotion. 1.2368 0.04874 114 92 17 5
1967 Someone thinks breeding season is here. 1.2368 0.04545 114 90 21 3
1968 Now he's not a protected species! 1.2368 0.04545 114 90 21 3
1969 Featherbrain. 1.2368 0.04545 114 90 21 3
1970 He's auditioning for the Trump show 1.2368 0.04712 114 91 19 4
1971 A beret or a toupee? 1.2368 0.04189 114 88 25 1
1972 He's just suffering from mid-flight crisis. 1.2368 0.05031 114 93 15 6
1973 His entire personality changed after he got the weave. 1.2368 0.04712 114 91 19 4
1974 He's looking to pick up chicks. 1.2368 0.04545 114 90 21 3
1975 Hey, not for nothing, but if you need anything, anything at all, you ask Tony " Two Pecks" over there. 1.2368 0.05183 114 94 13 7
1976 He wasn’t self-conscious until “baldness” was given a pejorative meaning. Humans suck. 1.2368 0.04545 114 90 21 3
1977 He's self conscious about his early onset plumage. 1.2366 0.04576 131 106 19 6
1978 It's true I can't afford a toupee, but at least I can spell it. 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
1979 Oh…he’ll be ok…as long as he doesn’t try using his pelvis to fly. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1980 Looks like a bird's nest on his head. 1.2366 0.04687 93 72 20 1
1981 I wouldn't call his hairpiece treasonous, but it's definitely unpatriotic 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
1982 It looks good but will it stay on when he flies.? 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1983 It looks great all Winter but it falls out in the Spring. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1984 He does his own hair. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1985 I told you he was still alive 1.2364 0.05154 110 90 14 6
1986 Hey, it beats getting a tattoo. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1987 If he invites you to the jungle room, don't go. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1988 Does she or doesn’t she? 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1989 The Eagles do Elvis, think it'll sell? 1.2364 0.05314 110 91 12 7
1990 I told him that if he got the rug, he should just get stuffed. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1991 He's determined to be on the thousand dollar bill. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1992 He must have loved "Elvis." 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1993 It seems that Joe's been taking the divorce well. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1994 Ugghh... What's he going to do next? Buy a convertible? 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1995 He says flocking together is just a social construct. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1996 You’re one leaf away from stardom 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
1997 He said he was prep-hair-ing a surprise for us. 1.2358 0.05286 106 87 13 6
1998 Obviously it's a comb over. Can't imagine where he got the idea. 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
1999 Worst of all, it hasn't helped his libido a bit. 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
2000 He says he switched to organic birdseed. 1.2358 0.04556 106 83 21 2
2001 He ain't nothin' but a raven. Crying all the time. 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
2002 It's good to be the King. 1.2358 0.04354 106 82 23 1
2003 He's transitioning. 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
2004 He’s from Florida. 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
2005 He just flew back from Vegas. 1.2358 0.04354 106 82 23 1
2006 Yeah, he's not that good, but at least we didn't have to fly to Vegas. 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
2007 That hairpiece is for the birds. 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
2008 An Elvis sighting, after all these years! His karma brought him back as one of us! 1.2358 0.04909 123 101 15 7
2009 I said it looked natural, but who’s he fooling? He’s not bald. 1.2358 0.04771 123 100 17 6
2010 comb over? What comb over? 1.2353 0.04658 102 80 20 2
2011 He says chicks dig it. 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
2012 I heard about this in health class. Now he's going to get all the chicks. 1.2353 0.04445 102 79 22 1
2013 Aquila Rogaini 1.2353 0.05952 85 70 10 5
2014 He’s looking for another kind of Queen. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
2015 No way that stays on in the thermals. 1.2353 0.05162 119 99 12 8
2016 Toupée or injured bunny? One way to find out! 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
2017 He thinks he's Howard Cosell. 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
2018 You can't even talk to him these days. 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
2019 He never could accept being called a bald eagle 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
2020 He's so cocky now. Thinks he looks like Elvis. 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
2021 It's better than that MAGA hat he was wearing 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
2022 I don't know Edith, but that Ernest Angley look on Carl is working for me. 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
2023 Poor fella. Lacks the "male baldness pattern " gene. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
2024 I bet you a quarter he denies he’s the guy on it. 1.2353 0.05022 119 98 14 7
2025 Elvis is in the tree! 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
2026 I think his name is Donald. 1.2348 0.04991 115 94 15 6
2027 He thinks he’s hot shit ever since he put that toupee on his head, flying around like a used Mercedes. 1.2348 0.04991 115 94 15 6
2028 I didn’t think Minoxidil worked THAT well! 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2029 I'm telling you, he dyes his hair. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2030 He identifies as a Crested Grebe." 1.2347 0.04541 98 76 21 1
2031 And by the way, he's not only the Mascot, he's also a client! 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
2032 Oh, fuck! 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
2033 I'll bet that wig itches like a man on a fuzzy tree. 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
2034 He just learned that he's a "bald" eagle 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
2035 He got fed up combing the feathers to one side. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2036 Don't you just love his hair? It hides his bald spot perfectly. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
2037 He’s a big Elvis fan. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
2038 His stylist doesn't understand us. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
2039 What’s next leather talons? 1.2342 0.05270 111 92 12 7
2040 I think he needs to have his wings clipped 1.2342 0.04425 111 87 22 2
2041 You're right. You really can't tell. 1.2340 0.04884 94 74 18 2
2042 He just got in to Fie Birdie Krappa! 1.2340 0.05941 94 79 8 7
2043 He thinks it means he won't be a Bald Eagle anymore 1.2340 0.04644 94 73 20 1
2044 That toupee can’t fool me. He’s a bald eagle! 1.2340 0.05542 94 77 12 5
2045 He used to be our President. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2046 It works for William Shatner. 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
2047 It's called pooping from behind. 1.2340 0.05542 94 77 12 5
2048 He thinks he’s so hot. I don’t see any chicks flocking to him. 1.2339 0.03985 124 96 27 1
2049 It’s grown in since he has been dining on laboratory mice. 1.2339 0.04451 124 99 21 4
2050 You should really introduce him to manscaping. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2051 He's a hold-over from the last administration. 1.2336 0.04319 107 83 23 1
2052 King of the Sky is not enough. Eddy wants to be "The King"! 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2053 Everybody these days wants to be an Elvis impersonator! 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2054 Do you think he's compensating for something? 1.2333 0.04543 120 96 20 4
2055 It's symbiotic. He gets a rug for his inevitable Bald Eagle head ... and the rat keeps warm. 1.2333 0.05923 90 75 9 6
2056 I tell ya Joe, I don't think Don is going to fit in around here. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2057 Who are we? 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2058 They say he has preferred pronouns. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2059 He just doesn't get that bald is beautiful. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2060 Frank's gone undercover. 1.2330 0.05380 103 85 12 6
2061 I had no idea Elvis wanted to be a bird in his next life! 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2062 I hope his midlife crisis is over before that possum wakes up. 1.2330 0.05380 103 85 12 6
2063 Idiot missed the point! It's the Baldies that represent. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2064 His ornithologist got fired for using Rogaine. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2065 He only answers to 'the King.' 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
2066 He says it helps him with chicks. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
2067 Sure he attracts the pigeons,but is it worth going off the protected species list? 1.2328 0.05101 116 96 13 7
2068 Drives the chickadees wild. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
2069 We call him Elvis 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
2070 Cost him a lot of seeds but he's still no Elvis. 1.2326 0.04582 86 66 20 0
2071 Ok, that stuff looks pretty good; but just wait until he grabs his first fish of the day. He should just change his name to Rudy Giuliani right now. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
2072 Would you find ME more attractive if I wore a toupee? 1.2326 0.04472 129 104 20 5
2073 He thinks he needs something to cover up his bird brain. 1.2326 0.06117 86 72 8 6
2074 He's the king of squawk and roll. 1.2323 0.05339 99 81 13 5
2075 It's a Whig. 1.2323 0.05529 99 82 11 6
2076 His favourite catch? Mullet. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2077 Andre's going through a mid-life crisis. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2078 From this angle that leaf makes Eddie look like Elvis. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2079 Well, I think it’s just a mid-life crisis. He’s very sensitive now, about being called a bald eagle. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2080 And he wants us to call him Donald now 1.2323 0.05339 99 81 13 5
2081 Fetching, isn't he. 1.2323 0.04501 99 77 21 1
2082 He's an Americana Eagle. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2083 Hasn't he noticed that bald is in? 1.2321 0.04570 112 89 20 3
2084 What have you got to lose? 1.2321 0.04909 112 91 16 5
2085 The two of us will have to fly elsewhere to find a mate. 1.2321 0.04390 112 88 22 2
2086 It might work if he had blue suede claws. 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
2087 Did he pull that toupee out of his ass? 1.2321 0.05379 112 94 10 8
2088 He is a wise elder, but frankly the toupee makes him look stupid. 1.2321 0.05071 112 92 14 6
2089 I mean yes, he looks amazing — but this is the reason we’re back on the endangered species list! 1.2321 0.05227 112 93 12 7
2090 He knows we’re not actually bald, right?” 1.2321 0.04570 112 89 20 3
2091 He really liked 'Elvis' 1.2321 0.05071 112 92 14 6
2092 I guess he hasn't heard that birds of a feather stick together. 1.2321 0.04570 112 89 20 3
2093 She self-identifies as a cockatoo. 1.2321 0.04909 112 91 16 5
2094 Somebody needs to tell him that Bald Eagles aren’t really BALD! 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
2095 …oh, and you should see him dancing and shaking his tail feathers with his friends!! It’s shocking! 1.2320 0.04969 125 104 13 8
2096 He’s really insecure 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
2097 He's so sensitive, a chickadee called him a Baldy. 1.2319 0.04399 138 112 20 6
2098 He's been hired to do Trump commercials 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
2099 and I thought worms would be bad. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2100 Yeah, I know. Sadly, it's a mutation that also affects the brain. 1.2317 0.06086 82 68 9 5
2101 If we wore a toupee, we wouldn't be bald eagles anymore. 1.2317 0.06086 82 68 9 5
2102 I guess he has presidential aspirations 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2103 It's a feather transplant from his chest. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2104 He hates being labeled ‘bald’! 1.2316 0.05689 95 79 10 6
2105 I would not vote for him. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
2106 Elvis never really left the building. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
2107 Don’t get any ideas. 1.2316 0.04601 95 74 20 1
2108 It doesn't take an eagle eye to spot that one! 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2109 It’s so obvious 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
2110 I'm not sure the toupee works. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
2111 Did Maurice lose weight? 1.2315 0.04284 108 84 23 1
2112 Maybe, but the younger chicks can tell, too. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
2113 I think he played Vegas in the 70's... 1.2314 0.04946 121 100 14 7
2114 He's also moving to Canada. 1.2314 0.04659 121 98 18 5
2115 So now what do you think about hair club for birds? 1.2314 0.03850 121 93 28 0
2116 He left the eagles to impersonate Elvis 1.2314 0.04659 121 98 18 5
2117 I never thought feathered hair would be back in. 1.2314 0.04192 121 95 24 2
2118 He just got on Tinder. 1.2308 0.04305 130 104 22 4
2119 That's the new TikTok challenge! 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2120 But is he still a bald eagle? 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
2121 Until he gets the spangled suit, he's not going to fool anybody. 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
2122 Sure, now that he's wearing that toupee... 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
2123 Although it'll throw off the Christmas Bird Count, I think it makes him look younger. 1.2308 0.04151 104 80 24 0
2124 Apparently, he’s a new subspecies - the toupee’d eagle. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2125 It’s an Elvis back comb. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2126 Just humor him. There is no way around this. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2127 He's hoping to make it big as an Elvis impersonator. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2128 He looked down his beak at me and said: 'Molting is a choice.' 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2129 Seriously? He asked you whether you noticed anything different about him? 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2130 Don't even think about it. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2131 Doesn't he realize that everyone can tell it's a wig? 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2132 He gets it by eating Jelly Beans and honeycomb. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2133 I told him we aren’t songbirds, but he can’t let it go. 1.2308 0.04961 91 72 17 2
2134 Perhaps he’s considering a presidential run. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
2135 At least he got rid of the perm. 1.2308 0.04573 130 106 18 6
2136 He's one of those Californian tech-bro species here to install our google nest 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
2137 Frankly, i prefer a rug on the bottom of my cage… 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2138 He wants out of the family. I told him he'd have to try harder than that 1.2301 0.03977 113 87 26 0
2139 He got it back in 2016 but won't take it off. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2140 Brenda says he's a Republican but I don't believe it. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
2141 I don't think Eddie knows that we know. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2142 He says it was caused by global warming. 1.2300 0.05291 100 82 13 5
2143 Do you think that he just flew in from Paris? 1.2300 0.04462 100 78 21 1
2144 He's so self conscious being a bald eagle. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
2145 He’s been aloof ever since his picture was in Audubon Magazine 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
2146 And whose smart idea was it to get him a mirror for his birthday? 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2147 Grow a comb is all I said... 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2148 I think that it's another Elvis wannabe!! 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
2149 I hope he does Snowbird 1.2300 0.05291 100 82 13 5
2150 He is such a hound dog... 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2151 He is Not of the feather. 1.2300 0.04683 100 79 19 2
2152 That’s the end of the rare species classification for us! All undone by narcissism 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
2153 He thinks he's such a big wig with all that hair. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2154 Sad, he thinks it’s a chick magnet. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2155 He didn’t like having a bald spot. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2156 He's on that new drug that's supposed to increase your wing span. The hair growth is just a side effect. 1.2299 0.04823 87 68 18 1
2157 I thought you said he was a bald eagle. 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
2158 He’s getting ready to migrate to Europe for the winter” 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
2159 Only his barber knows for sure. 1.2295 0.04769 122 100 16 6
2160 He’s not only the Hair Club President, he’s a client! 1.2295 0.04909 122 101 14 7
2161 He just uses it to cover that bald spot. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
2162 Hair is just the beginning. Wait until you see him in his smoking jacket and pipe. 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
2163 ...and he wants to be called Elvis Eagle. 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
2164 He's a Pompatoo 1.2294 0.05154 109 90 13 6
2165 He's doing his Elvis show down at the Eagle's Nest tonight. 1.2294 0.04446 109 86 21 2
2166 He's looking to get balled. 1.2294 0.05154 109 90 13 6
2167 He thinks the comb over the top makes him look younger. 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
2168 Being bald means something different to him than it does to us, Hilda. 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
2169 Looks more like a symbol of freeDUMB. 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
2170 He's heading to Vegas for the weekend 1.2292 0.04559 96 75 20 1
2171 Is that Great Again, or what! 1.2292 0.05635 96 80 10 6
2172 I kept telling him, "Sam, you're a bald eagle, accept it." But now he's pulling down two grand a week as an Elvis imitator, so what do I know? 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
2173 He says it's for camouflage. 1.2292 0.04559 96 75 20 1
2174 It's a toupée--act like you don't know. 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
2175 He says it's not fake, it's 'alternate hair.' 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
2176 He thought he'd grabbed a rodent, it ended being Rogaine... 1.2289 0.06258 83 70 7 6
2177 It is an Elvis Eagle from Tupelo Mississippi 1.2288 0.05164 118 99 11 8
2178 He swears it's his, but nothing on earth is THAT color. 1.2288 0.04408 118 94 21 3
2179 Bald is actually a recessive trait. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2180 It's a hair piece he stole off a clothesline 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2181 I thought bald was beautiful. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2182 Can't wait 'til it rains. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2183 Big Elvis fan 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2184 I think Carl's having an identity crisis. 1.2283 0.04498 127 103 19 5
2185 You can spot it a mile away! 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
2186 I told him,"Eddie, possum is for eating, not wearing on your head." 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
2187 He traded three strings, two branches, and a piece of yarn for it 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
2188 It's his first date. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
2189 Oh, that's Leon. New money. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
2190 Toupee, Really! I guess it's the new maga trump look. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
2191 He's is best when he's singing Love Me (Chicken) Tender. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
2192 I don't think it makes him look like Elvis at all! 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
2193 He just got back from an Elvis contest in Vegas. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
2194 Actually, I hear it's just Four Season's hair dye and a combover 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
2195 Hey, do you think it is a toupee? 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
2196 Ernie thought he’d be more of a chick magnet if he got a toupee. 1.2279 0.04779 136 114 13 9
2197 His mid-life crisis is defacing our image! 1.2277 0.05428 101 84 11 6
2198 He says if we weren't bald, we'd get so many chicks we wouldn't be endangered. 1.2277 0.05428 101 84 11 6
2199 He just got back from Canada. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
2200 I don't know what Larry did but he looks 10 years younger 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
2201 He wanted to go blond, but the cartoonist objected. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
2202 Why are we always in the second row for Fashion Week? 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
2203 And here I thought Sheila had finally said yes and he was gathering that stuff to make a nest. 1.2273 0.05271 110 92 11 7
2204 It's called a "bird brain." 1.2273 0.05111 110 91 13 6
2205 I heard that Sharon thinks he's having an affair 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
2206 He claims they slipped Rogaine into his feeder. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2207 Talk about your endangered species. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2208 That thing don’t fly. 1.2273 0.04775 88 69 18 1
2209 He really is a Bold Eagle to wear one of those... 1.2273 0.05111 110 91 13 6
2210 He says it has something to do with "picking up the chicks." which I don't get. 1.2269 0.04689 119 97 17 5
2211 He's changing his name to Libereagle. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2212 This is how an eagle becomes chicken 1.2268 0.04518 97 76 20 1
2213 I guess he's not into flocking. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2214 His impersonation of Richard Nixon is even better! 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2215 His mother kept yelling, "Touché" at the Make Eagles Great Again rally. He heard "Toupee". This doesn't bode well for family and politics. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2216 I'd have to say it's more ironic and iconic. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2217 I hear strong genes on his father's side. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2218 It’s more Elvis than Trump. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
2219 Because birds can’t drive sports cars. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
2220 We try to use every part of the animal over at our aerie. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
2221 He's looking to reach a different demographic !! 1.2264 0.04299 106 83 22 1
2222 does he know the Elvis look is out? 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
2223 It looked better on the fish he snatched it from. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
2224 That's a cheap toupee. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
2225 He gives all bald eagles a bad name! 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
2226 He's mocking us, Jim. 1.2262 0.05952 84 70 9 5
2227 I told him it won't help him find a mate, but he has to learn for himself. 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
2228 That wig makes him the worst Elvis imitator ever. 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
2229 I bet that thing flies off the first time he dives for a mouse. 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
2230 Who does he think he's fooling with that? 1.2261 0.04950 115 95 14 6
2231 These kids today have no respect for America. 1.2261 0.05102 115 96 12 7
2232 His Elvis impersonation is awful but he has caught a rabbit. . . 1.2261 0.05102 115 96 12 7
2233 Don’t fall for the extensions.” 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
2234 Her tweet about me was totally false. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2235 He is in quarantine , Saturday night fever. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2236 Enough with the 'bald'," he said 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2237 Wow! Will you look at that! It’s Elvis Eagle! 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2238 It’s a toupee. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2239 That's a bald move. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2240 He definitely dyes it 1.2258 0.04699 124 102 16 6
2241 It’s a mid-life thing, I heard he also bought a corvette 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2242 Extinction is more attractive. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2243 He claims that the chicks love it 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2244 Talk about insecure. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2245 So passé ! 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2246 Where would you even get a wig for birds? 1.2252 0.04735 111 90 17 4
2247 The attention from birders is really getting to Carl’s head. 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
2248 I think it looks better than the last one 1.2252 0.05228 111 93 11 7
2249 Everyone knows it’s a toupee 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
2250 Wearing a rug is one thing, but that dye job? 1.2252 0.04375 111 88 21 2
2251 I bet it's a comb over. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
2252 How come you always get that side? 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
2253 He should embrace his bald eagleness. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
2254 Actually, his rendition of 'Jailhouse Rock' isn't bad. 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
2255 I heard he let Jimmy Fallon tousle it on ‘The Tonight Show.’ 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2256 Stable genius my tail feathers. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2257 Well, dear, teenagers like to display their independence. Some do it by rejecting their parents’ values, and baldness is, you know, kind of a biggie with us. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2258 You can tell its fake! 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2259 Yes bald is beautiful. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2260 Since when does our migratory route pass through Turkey? 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2261 He’s going through a mid-fly crisis. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2262 Hair club is for the birds. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2263 That coxcomb-over doesn’t fool anyone. He’s as bald as the rest of us. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2264 He’s a Trump supporter. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2265 He's gone Independent. 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
2266 He said it stays on even when he’s diving 1.2245 0.05529 98 82 10 6
2267 He does Elvis impersonations. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2268 I wouldn't be caught dead wearing that thing. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2269 Must be one of those city eagles. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
2270 At least you're not trying to be hip by wearing a toupee like that dude. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2271 Eaglvis Impersonator, eh? 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2272 He’s depressed. He just heard back from the National Mint that his profile isn’t ‘suitable for coinage’ 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2273 He's basically a mocking bird now 1.2243 0.05196 107 89 12 6
2274 'Elvis complex!" 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2275 He never really got over eating that lounge lizard. 1.2243 0.05196 107 89 12 6
2276 It's his impersonation of an Elvis impersonator. 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2277 Did they really think that would fool us? 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2278 Who's he kidding? We're still endangered! 1.2243 0.05196 107 89 12 6
2279 He says he's tired of the whole bald eagle thing and wants to be a black-capped chickadee 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
2280 I wish he never left the building. 1.2241 0.04911 116 96 14 6
2281 His Memphis period needs a little work but his Vegas period is spot on. 1.2241 0.05207 116 98 10 8
2282 Ever since he sang in Vegas, there's been something different about him. 1.2241 0.04911 116 96 14 6
2283 When he sang "Are You Lonesome Tonight?", my feathers started to quiver and I forgot how to fly. 1.2241 0.04596 116 94 18 4
2284 He's auditioning for the romantic lead. 1.2240 0.04379 125 101 20 4
2285 You see your father. I see Meryl Streep. 1.2240 0.04379 125 101 20 4
2286 He says that he got tired of being called "Baldy". 1.2240 0.04230 125 100 22 3
2287 It's his anti- Trump statement. Since January 6th he doesn't want to be considered a symbol of America! 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2288 Okay, okay...he's alive. But can he still sing? 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
2289 Are you gonna?Or do I have to tell him he loses his endangered designation and get shot at if he wears it? 1.2235 0.06121 85 72 7 6
2290 He's all yours - I know a narcissist when I see one. 1.2235 0.04546 85 66 19 0
2291 He's no longer bald if he thinks it... 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
2292 The Eagle has stranded. 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
2293 Now he's singing like Roy Orbison too 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
2294 Plugs or rug? Either way, it’s not very patriotic. 1.2234 0.05486 94 78 11 5
2295 He's taken his obsession with Elvis a bit too far. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2296 Good genes. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2297 I don't know. The "wigged eagle" just doesn't have the same panache. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2298 You can argue about the style, but he's been falling from the sky a lot more recently, I do know that. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2299 Vanity, all life is vanity. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2300 This is what happens when you allow mirrors in trees. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2301 He might or might not be flying, but he's definitely running. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2302 There goes our reputation. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2303 His wife took him to the cleaners. However, he did get the rug. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2304 Maybe those early worms weren't good for him after all. 1.2233 0.04348 103 81 21 1
2305 Does he think we don't know it's toupee? I mean he's called "Bald Eagle"! 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
2306 Does he do the comb over because he thinks he’s really bald? Or because he wants to look like Elvis? 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
2307 It doesn't make him look younger, and you can see it from a mile away. 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
2308 Mynahxidil. 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
2309 He's just being a rebellious teenager, honey. When I was his age I ate vegetarian for a month. It'll pass. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
2310 He thinks he is graduating! 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
2311 Flew by the Country Music Hall of Fame. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
2312 Somebody, must have seen the new Elvis movie. 1.2232 0.04340 112 89 21 2
2313 He loves his new job on Fox. He looks suave, patriotic, and debonair, but underneath the toupee he's still a bald eagle. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
2314 Say what you will. These woodcuts just don't have the kind of detail I like in my bird prints. 1.2231 0.04619 121 99 17 5
2315 It seem to be our friend sitting alone and thought crafty scheme? 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
2316 Oh you don't have to worry about him; we're just friends. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2317 I just wish he could embrace his baldness 1.2222 0.04631 126 104 16 6
2318 Should we tell him he still has a bald spot? 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
2319 He thinks the bald thing is endangering us. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2320 He now wants to be called "Wild Eagle." 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2321 He probably thinks this song is about him. 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2322 I double dare you. 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2323 I TOLD him the combover wasn’t working. 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2324 His Elvis tones are screechy, but he knows all the words. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
2325 Get a load of Perry Comb-Over. 1.2222 0.05166 117 99 10 8
2326 Why can’t he jus embrace his baldness. Like the rest of us. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2327 He's going to starve to death if he keeps refusing to swoop. 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
2328 He's been spending too much time with the statues. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
2329 Act like you don't notice. It'll flip his wig. 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
2330 Now he only answers to "Elvis Nestley." 1.2222 0.04046 126 100 24 2
2331 He hates being called a bald eagle. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2332 He’s having an identity crisis. Doesn’t like being labeled ‘bald Eagle’. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2333 He's an Elvis fan. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
2334 He changes into the jumpsuit at intermission. 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
2335 He's flying to Vegas to be an Elvis impersonator. His Joe Rogan act didn't work out. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2336 He picked it up when we flew over Vegas. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
2337 He thinks he's a different species since he joined the Hair Club for Eagles. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
2338 Are you going to tell him it's just not becoming, or shall I? 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2339 We call him The King of the jungle. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2340 I wish he'd give us a solo. 1.2222 0.04665 99 79 18 2
2341 He’s trying to compensate for his wingspan. 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
2342 Wait 'til you see him do `Bye Bye Birdie.' 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
2343 I think the whole 'Bald Eagle' thing went to his head. 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
2344 It still doesn’t hide his bird brain. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2345 There goes the American symbol. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
2346 Geez, one migration to Latin America and the guy thinks he's a crested caracara. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2347 What a hot shot. Calls himself the American Bold Eagle. 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
2348 The Audacity of Hair". 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
2349 He’s bald like the rest of us. 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
2350 You know what? If it makes him feel better, that’s all that matters. Don’t even mention it. 1.2213 0.04584 122 100 17 5
2351 How eagles spend the day in the 80s. 1.2213 0.04434 122 99 19 4
2352 Very destinkuished! 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
2353 Bird brain thinks he's Elvis! Let's fly over and poop on him! 1.2212 0.04986 113 94 13 6
2354 'Don't Be Cruel.' He's, 'All Shook Up.' 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
2355 Hair today, gone tomorrow. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2356 A Trumpy. That orange ain't Elvis. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2357 I liked him better with his Afro! 1.2212 0.05284 104 87 11 6
2358 He might be a bit pretentious, but have you heard him sing "Jailhouse Rock"? 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2359 Check out this hair-brained scheme. 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
2360 Does he really think that rug makes him look woke? 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2361 It didn't come with a chin strap? 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
2362 He did the same twitch yesterday ...it don't mean a thing 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
2363 Who’s he trying to kid? 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2364 Yeah, mid-life crisis. And have you seen him driving that red T-bird convertible? 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2365 Hey look - it’s a T-Bird!! 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2366 He could run for president of our species. 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
2367 I can forgive the tattoos and piercings! 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2368 I guess he threw away his 'Bald is Beautiful' shirt" 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2369 It’s bad enough, but did he have to go for “The Elvis” 1.2212 0.05284 104 87 11 6
2370 All he needs now is some Blue Suede Shoes... 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2371 He got it because he said "hats make him look silly"...can you believe that?! 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2372 He also traded his Buick for a vintage convertible. 1.2211 0.05433 95 79 11 5
2373 He saw the "Elvis" movie, and it went to his head..literally 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2374 We have a good eyes view of him from here 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
2375 Okay, you and I are not into him, but there are still females in the flock who fall for his Elvis impersonation. 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2376 He thinks it will help him pick up chicks 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2377 Someone is feeling the new pronouns 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
2378 I spy with my eagle eye something dyed. 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2379 What would Ben Franklin say? 1.2211 0.05831 95 81 7 7
2380 Underneath that thing, he's still a bald eagle. 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2381 How much did you tip the Doorman last Chistmas? 1.2211 0.04775 95 76 17 2
2382 It's from the George Costanza Hair Piece and Toupee Line. 1.2211 0.05433 95 79 11 5
2383 He thinks it’s going to help him pick up you get prey. 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
2384 I thought we were BALD eagles. 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
2385 I’m not sure what’s going on; but he’s now identifying as a tufted titmouse 1.2209 0.05825 86 72 9 5
2386 He doesn't know how to play guitar 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
2387 Just ignore him and maybe he'll molt. 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
2388 He ain’t nothin’ but a hound eagle. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2389 What's next - blue suede shoes? 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
2390 Another Elvis wannabe. 1.2205 0.04460 127 104 18 5
2391 Nice comb over. 1.2205 0.04598 127 105 16 6
2392 You've never seen one before? Really? It's called a touché. 1.2205 0.04170 127 102 22 3
2393 His toupee is nothing to crow about. 1.2203 0.04683 118 97 16 5
2394 Eagle Earl says it helps him find more chicks. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
2395 So, what do you call a bald eagle, with a toupee? 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
2396 He doesn't understand he's supposed to be bald. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
2397 So I said to him, “You’re no Elvis, Bob.” 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2398 I hear John is getting back in the mating game. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2399 He has Retrograde Owlopecia. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2400 He's hoping to get Trump's attention. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2401 He fancies a Golden Girl. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2402 Johnny doesn’t believe in “natural selection.” 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2403 The Republicans sent nest loads of them here. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2404 SEXY!!! 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2405 It makes him look twenty years younger.In bird years whatever that is. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2406 Don't worry, my stylist told me bald was in. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2407 That's one bold eagle. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
2408 He’s so vain about his bald spot. 1.2198 0.05806 91 77 8 6
2409 He’s been courting a condor. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2410 I allowed the robin bob, but said no to a ducktail. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2411 Not only is he a customer he bought the company! 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2412 More like "bald-faced liar," if you ask me. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2413 Reunion weekend. I think he needs a wingman. 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
2414 Ever since he saw 'Elvis,' he hasn't been the same. 1.2195 0.04916 82 65 16 1
2415 OK, you’re new, but just don’t bring it up. He thinks it makes him look cool, like Elvis. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
2416 Yeah, he gets more chicks. That's OK - I prefer a hen with some experience. 1.2193 0.04622 114 93 17 4
2417 I hear he's not endangered when he puts it on. 1.2193 0.04622 114 93 17 4
2418 Not a great look for him. 1.2193 0.04273 114 91 21 2
2419 He's designated a new species - 'Haliaeetus elvisi'. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
2420 Who’s going to tell him he’s out of the bald eagle club? 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
2421 Should I tell him he’s now no longer part of an endangered species? 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
2422 More like poopadour, am I right? 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
2423 Maybe he would take terns? 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
2424 He's not just a customer; he's president of Hair Club for Eagles. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2425 Just pretend it’s his natural color. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
2426 Don’t encourage him, or he’ll start singing “Hound Dog.” 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2427 White breasted my ass. He dyes it! 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2428 Downright un-American. 1.2190 0.05238 105 88 11 6
2429 Last month it was wing span extenders. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
2430 Hold still now, he’s doing an engraving… 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2431 And he wonders why he’s alone. 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
2432 Right, he’s no longer a bald Eagle, but his preferred pronouns are still he, his, him. 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
2433 Some catch - a toupee and fish breath. 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
2434 he thinks he's Elvis 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
2435 Yet, he still can't sing. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2436 He flies over Vegas and all of a sudden he's Elvis. 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
2437 Feathers are not good enough . . . ? 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
2438 It's all 'Eagle' in the eyes of the law... he actually went and changed his name to Aves Presley. 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
2439 I guess that herring stuff really works, huh? 1.2188 0.05774 96 82 7 7
2440 I can’t even talk to him now. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2441 I heard he stole every single strand from Trump's combover. 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
2442 He pulled his tail feathers forward. Very Trump- 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
2443 Yea, I've never seen him go in the water with that. 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
2444 I told you this guy has issues! 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
2445 He always did prefer Elvis to the Eagles. 1.2188 0.05381 96 80 11 5
2446 You don't recognize him? Neighborhood kid? Ronnie Sims before he became Elvis. 1.2185 0.04944 119 100 12 7
2447 You can laugh, but his "shoot cameras not guns" tag received 10,000 likes in one day. 1.2185 0.04944 119 100 12 7
2448 Father Time always wins, Gary! 1.2185 0.04798 119 99 14 6
2449 He thinks he’s a player. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2450 Don't say it. Please, don't say it! 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2451 No need to be scared, I'm sure that hound dog he mentioned can't get us up here. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2452 Eagle-pattern baldness is so last year. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2453 Looks like Elvis is in the House!” 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2454 C'mon, the 'American toupeed eagle' just won't cut it. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2455 I told him it's just our name. Don't take it so literally. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2456 It looks silly, but at least the color isn't garish. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
2457 Come on! Just ask him to COMB OVER here! 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2458 First-time birders need extra cues. 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2459 Little do they know. Hair today, gone tomorrow! 1.2182 0.04898 110 91 14 5
2460 Wasn't this a Seinfeld? 1.2182 0.04357 110 88 20 2
2461 He's a drummer in an Eagles cover band. 1.2182 0.05065 110 92 12 6
2462 What's he got against BALD? 1.2179 0.06490 78 67 5 6
2463 And he’s ordered a pair of blue suede shoes. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
2464 Rogaine again! 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
2465 That’s so 70’s! 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2466 Look, Liberace came back as a bird! 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2467 This doesn't feel much like a cartoon. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2468 I just think Steve should embrace his baldness 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2469 The divorce was difficult for Jerry. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2470 Poor Fred, he's taken bald personally. 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2471 What happened to being proud of who you are? 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2472 He's definitely not a chick magnet with that thing. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2473 With that hair and cape he decided to be an Elvis impersonator. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2474 Hairclub for Men offered him a job and he will never have to fish again. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2475 Rumor is he wants to run for No. 1 Bird again. 1.2174 0.04416 115 93 19 3
2476 He really hates being called a Bald Eagle! 1.2174 0.04749 115 95 15 5
2477 Rogaine doesn't work that well! 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
2478 He's the one that tried to peck Trump's eyes out. Wearing the rug is his punishment. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
2479 His Elvis flops like a fish. 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
2480 Why does Stan keep calling me a hound dog? 1.2174 0.04749 115 95 15 5
2481 His vanity soars. 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
2482 weird Elvis didn't make it flip, flop, and drop? 1.2174 0.05535 92 77 10 5
2483 He never identified as “bald”. 1.2174 0.04592 92 73 18 1
2484 Why doesn’t he shave his head like the rest of us? 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
2485 He says it makes him feel like a spry eaglet again 1.2174 0.04592 92 73 18 1
2486 I told him, everyone can tell it's a rug, but he won't listen. 1.2174 0.04416 115 93 19 3
2487 A bit of gray would look a lot more distinguished 1.2174 0.05535 92 77 10 5
2488 And we're supposed to call him The King! 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
2489 I heard he uses the same stylist as Donald Trump. 1.2174 0.05747 92 78 8 6
2490 Tell me you've been to the oil spill without telling me you've been to the oil spill. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
2491 You should see where else he's bald. 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
2492 I say, 'Lock Him Up!' 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
2493 He should have gotten a make-under. 1.2171 0.04397 129 106 18 5
2494 He still screeches just like the rest of us. 1.2170 0.04240 106 84 21 1
2495 He's still working on some self-acceptance issues. 1.2170 0.04240 106 84 21 1
2496 No, damn it, we will never be toupee eagles! 1.2170 0.05017 106 88 13 5
2497 Freak! We're not called bald eagles for nothing! 1.2170 0.04645 106 86 17 3
2498 He so stupid—-does he think we don’t know it’s a hairpiece? 1.2170 0.04645 106 86 17 3
2499 He knows this is America, right?!?! Where bald is beautiful!?!?! 1.2170 0.04645 106 86 17 3
2500 Ever since he met that chickadee… 1.2170 0.04240 106 84 21 1
2501 That’s the King.” Whispers Sheila 1.2170 0.04645 106 86 17 3
2502 If this were in color, you could see his blue suede rug. 1.2170 0.04447 106 85 19 2
2503 By L’Oríol… 1.2170 0.04645 106 86 17 3
2504 Viva Las Vegas! 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
2505 A rare sighting of the bad rug eagle. 1.2169 0.05950 83 70 8 5
2506 Another one didn't get the memo. 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
2507 How unpatriotic. 1.2167 0.04297 120 97 20 3
2508 I told you-- we aren't going extinct, some just stopped being bald. 1.2167 0.04761 120 100 14 6
2509 I understand his mistress is quite young. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2510 His Mother was a peacock. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2511 It’s got everyone talking behind his beak. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2512 He should’ve just got a MAGA hat instead! 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2513 A comb-over is one thing - a bald eagle with a toupe is totally another! 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2514 He thinks he looks like Elvis. I think he looks like Colonel Tom Parker 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2515 Cheap crow feather rug! 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2516 I think it’s either the Elvis or Liberace look he’s going for. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2517 Males are over sensitive to the “bald” moniker, don’t you think? 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2518 It's just plain unpatriotic. 1.2165 0.04203 97 76 21 0
2519 Show me someone without an ego and I'll show you a loser. 1.2162 0.04686 111 91 16 4
2520 He thinks he is soooo dashing with that stupid hair piece. 1.2162 0.04686 111 91 16 4
2521 Do you think he's married? 1.2162 0.04858 111 92 14 5
2522 Wants to be known as a Hairy Eagle. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2523 Since his role in that wildlife documentary he's not the same bird. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2524 Let's see if it stays on when he flies! 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2525 Personally, I don't think of it as a disability at all. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2526 He is going with strength through piece 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2527 I think it’s a rug.” Ellen Sullivan, Plum Island, M 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2528 …he’s left the building. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2529 So being the king of birds wasn’t enough? 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2530 "Obviously he didn't get the memo. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2531 I've tried to talk to him, but all I get back is that "okay-boomer" crap. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2532 He's a toupee eagle 1.2157 0.04951 102 84 14 4
2533 Rumo 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
2534 He says it's hare season. 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
2535 That rug is on sideways. Superman’s curl is in the middle. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
2536 it's probably the gluten. 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
2537 I thought he was an originalist! 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
2538 ''He must be from Las Vegas.'' 1.2157 0.05144 102 85 12 5
2539 If this becomes a trend, we may have to think about changing the name of our species-- 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
2540 And this is why no one knows who we are anymore. 1.2155 0.04207 116 93 21 2
2541 It’s odd, but I preferred him bald. 1.2155 0.04550 116 95 17 4
2542 It may look silly to us, but the chicks sure like it! 1.2152 0.05150 79 66 10 3
2543 Remember when bright feathers were enough? 1.2152 0.04653 79 62 17 0
2544 I could see the mid-life crisis coming from a mile away. 1.2151 0.04798 93 75 16 2
2545 Don't say anything, but I'm pretty sure Earl is wearing a toupee. 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
2546 I thought we were supposed to be bald. 1.2151 0.05481 93 78 10 5
2547 Wait. So the word "bald" doesn't mean white? 1.2151 0.04798 93 75 16 2
2548 And he wears lifts in his talons. 1.2151 0.05481 93 78 10 5
2549 It's a rare Shatner Eagle. 1.2151 0.04798 93 75 16 2
2550 Hes still a bald eagle but now he has power hair 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
2551 It's the new minority-majority look that scares the bejesus out of some Americans. 1.2150 0.05148 107 90 11 6
2552 Give him a bit of time. He’ll be back. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
2553 Who is he kidding with that combover? 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
2554 Some juveniles just never grow up... 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
2555 E pluribus ooh no. 1.2149 0.04868 121 102 12 7
2556 I ain't never caught a rabbit, so I ain't no friend of his. 1.2149 0.04100 121 97 22 2
2557 Don't step on his blue suede shoes. 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
2558 I told you he was wigged out. 1.2143 0.04982 112 94 12 6
2559 At least he has a full head of hair. 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
2560 It isn't vanity, he's a professional Elvis impersonator. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2561 You gotta admit that it looks a little bit better than the rattail. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
2562 Mom always stuffs more food down your throat. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
2563 He is a rare subspecies called "The Comb Over Eagle." 1.2143 0.04529 98 81 14 3
2564 If he's a songbird.... I'm singin "Bye, bye birdie" 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
2565 He got into Jose Canseco's medicine cabinet. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
2566 This is what happens when a bald eagle hears Elvis. 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
2567 His Elvis impersonation is just fabulous 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2568 Forget 'truth to power.' Just tell him it looks natural. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2569 A little birdie told me we were supposed to be bald. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2570 Jimmy, this is why you never do drugs. Messes up your sleep and then you go around doing Elvis impersonations 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
2571 If rather be bald. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
2572 Snug as a rug on a bug. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
2573 He says chicks love the toupee. 1.2143 0.05280 98 82 11 5
2574 I's just a phase he is going through. Best to ignore it. 1.2136 0.04286 103 82 20 1
2575 Yes I know we’re supposed to be bald - but you gotta admit he has pizzaz 1.2136 0.05098 103 86 12 5
2576 Apparently, that new Rogaine for Birds really works! 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2577 He’s rocking this tree. 1.2136 0.04286 103 82 20 1
2578 I feel like listening to some Elvis. 1.2136 0.04286 103 82 20 1
2579 Avis Propecias. 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2580 Who does he think he's kidding? 1.2136 0.05098 103 86 12 5
2581 He says it’s all natural. 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2582 Worse, he thinks the election was stolen, too. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2583 And get this -- he hasn't seen the movie. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2584 Don’t be a bald eagle, they said. You’ll look years younger, they said… 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2585 'Rockin' Robin' just got a challenger. 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2586 Oh great,another Elvis impersonator. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2587 He doesn't know that "balde" is the olde English word for "white". 1.2135 0.05643 89 75 9 5
2588 He says it makes him more hair-o dynamic with the chicks. 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
2589 I think he's gone wiggy. 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
2590 Should we tell him bald eagles are no longer an endangered species? 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
2591 Conformity only sets us behind. Be bold and stand alone 1.2135 0.05643 89 75 9 5
2592 Nice plumage, but would he still bring home the carrion? 1.2135 0.05412 89 74 11 4
2593 He rebranded himself. Now he wants to be called Bold Eagle. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
2594 He gets a wig and suddenly he thinks he’s a fledgling. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2595 Shocking, the way he shakes his tail feathers! 1.2130 0.04753 108 89 15 4
2596 It's a hen-pecked cover up. 1.2130 0.04567 108 88 17 3
2597 dude i shat on his head earlier and i think he just found out 1.2130 0.04567 108 88 17 3
2598 I heard he had hell toupee. 1.2130 0.04753 108 89 15 4
2599 It's his Donald Trump impression." Sydney Davis. Allentown P 1.2130 0.04931 108 90 13 5
2600 He's trending now, but he'll look just like us in a year. 1.2130 0.04931 108 90 13 5
2601 Welcome to the Galapagos. 1.2130 0.04931 108 90 13 5
2602 Something about home of the free 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
2603 He just joined 'Hair Club for Birds' 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
2604 It's just a comb-over. 1.2128 0.05427 94 79 10 5
2605 Can you believe he sacrificed the feathers on his chest for that abomination on his head? 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
2606 She has never agreed we flock together. 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
2607 He's waiting for the young chicks to flock to him now. 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
2608 'Talk about someone who doesn't appreciate their heritage..." 1.2128 0.05427 94 79 10 5
2609 Poor guy, he's going haired. 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
2610 I want some of that feather cream. 1.2128 0.05427 94 79 10 5
2611 I thought we'd agreed our story is the flu came from a lab not a bird 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
2612 He's worried about the next casting call. 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
2613 Feather implants would have looked better! 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
2614 Forgive him. His dad was a cocky 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
2615 My uncle had one of those but a hunter thought it was an attractive target and that was that. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
2616 His midlife crisis is showing! 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
2617 Between you and me, I don't think his new look is gonna fly. 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
2618 Don't be judgmental, honey, they're probably just exploring their identity. 1.2124 0.04779 113 94 14 5
2619 She should just give up and go gray naturally 1.2124 0.04779 113 94 14 5
2620 Freedom is superficial. 1.2124 0.04779 113 94 14 5
2621 He's dating a lady partridge and she likes the head plumage. 1.2124 0.04611 113 93 16 4
2622 No matter how hard he tries he'll never be a T-Bird 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2623 Before he Preys, he puts on his Sunday best.” 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2624 Mid-life crisis. It was a wig or a bigger nest. 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
2625 Never saw a bald eagle so worried about his bald spot... 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
2626 Best Elvis impersonator I've ever seen! 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2627 Whats he hatching under there?? 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2628 What he likes to draw attention to himself He thinks he's the king of rock! 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2629 I'm guessing it's a toupee. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2630 He thinks it makes him look like Donald. 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
2631 The toupee really brings out his beak. 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
2632 I heard the rest of the family won't talk to him. 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
2633 Look at him. He thinks he's all that since his return from Colombia 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
2634 If it falls off when he flies, don't mention it. He's going bald and not handling it well. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
2635 Remember when we were endangered? 1.2119 0.04480 118 97 17 4
2636 Elvis has left the building, of the aerie, to us. 1.2119 0.04792 118 99 13 6
2637 He’s been hanging out with the hairy woodpeckers. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2638 His name is Elvis, and is looking for a mate; not my type, he’s not bald! 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
2639 His mama's from Memphis! 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2640 I know he looks like him but he can't sing a note. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2641 He's in the remake of "The "Birds" 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
2642 Did you know that he sings like Elvis. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2643 He’s channeling his inner Liberace. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
2644 Whatever happened to species pride? 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2645 That comb-over is not fooling any of us. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2646 He's always taken personal offense to being called a 'bald' eagle. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
2647 Hey, where do you think he got that thing! 1.2114 0.04203 123 100 20 3
2648 With that luscious head of hair, he will never find a mate. 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
2649 Even so, I don’t think he looks like a Hairy Woodpecker. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2650 I caught his show in Vegas last week. It was fabulous! 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
2651 Chicks love Elvis Wigs. 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
2652 He looks different. Did he loose weight? 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
2653 There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.” 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2654 He's in the building! He's in the building! 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
2655 The pigeons, of course, love it. 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
2656 But he just doesn't sound like Elvis. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2657 Yeah, it's too bad. He's all shook up. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2658 I preferred his Beatle wing 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
2659 He's not fooling anyone. 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
2660 Another combover! 1.2110 0.04890 109 91 13 5
2661 Say whatcha want about the combover; he's STILL a bald eagle! 1.2110 0.04890 109 91 13 5
2662 That "bald-eagle" stuff really ruffled his feathers. 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
2663 Another Elvis Imitator! 1.2110 0.04337 109 88 19 2
2664 Talented talons on that bird. 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
2665 He joined the cast of “Bye Bye Birdie.” 1.2105 0.05374 95 80 10 5
2666 Wearing a toupee. What a bird-brain. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
2667 He thinks he won 1.2105 0.04740 114 95 14 5
2668 It’s just Donald being Donald 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2669 I gotta admit, it's pretty hot. 1.2105 0.04574 114 94 16 4
2670 I’m more interested in where he got his lift. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2671 At first I didn't like it, but now I think he's pulling off the whole Elvis thing 1.2105 0.04574 114 94 16 4
2672 Apparently, there's a search on for a new model for the presidential seal. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2673 This Elvis schtick aint gonna fly. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2674 He hasn't been the same since the DDT. 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
2675 damn. hes fat 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
2676 Like that's going to help him during mating season. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2677 I then said, yes, but the full saying is “Where eagles dare NOT TREAD” 1.2105 0.04221 114 92 20 2
2678 He's the hair apparent. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2679 We can kiss the Bald Eagle Protection Act goodbye. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2680 He's eleven and still trying to pick up five year olds... 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2681 This is the liberal agenda. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2682 Who's he fooling with that rug? 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2683 Can you say ‘Midlife Crisis?’ 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2684 He's trying to shake the national symbol look. 1.2105 0.04401 114 93 18 3
2685 And his bill's counterfeit, too. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2686 Vanity, thy name is Egbert. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2687 Elvis lives! 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
2688 You can’t tell me that isn’t natural. 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
2689 Cute, but sad. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2690 He totally stole it from the black eagles. 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
2691 He thinks he's posing to be on a Bitcoin. 1.2100 0.05183 100 84 11 5
2692 He just migrated from Hollywood 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
2693 Should we tell him it's on crooked? 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
2694 Embarrassed literalist 1.2100 0.04333 100 80 19 1
2695 He gets paid to circle over Trump rallies until the crowd starts pointing. 1.2100 0.04333 100 80 19 1
2696 Yeah it looks great, but animal research is still cruel. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
2697 Do you believe Rudy? First, the hair dye and now a toupee. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
2698 Don't even mention his new porche. 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
2699 Look at that idiot trying to dress up for Halloween in the middle of September! 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
2700 He's waiting for one that a rabbi would wear. 1.2097 0.04012 124 100 22 2
2701 We call him eagle the pelvis 1.2097 0.04475 124 103 16 5
2702 This motherfucker. 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
2703 He thinks he's all that since he got the rug. 1.2095 0.03991 105 83 22 0
2704 I told Dad he looked ridiculous with that toupee but he wouldn’t listen! 1.2095 0.05008 105 88 12 5
2705 He's the subspecies that parts on the left. 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
2706 Face it ... she wants nothing to do with us ever since she saw that Hyacinth macaw! 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2707 He's a Trump follower... 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2708 He’s not a Bald Eagle anymore. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2709 Can you believe he tweeted about his new rug? 1.2093 0.04216 129 106 19 4
2710 'He must be from your side of the family' 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2711 He got pissed at me when I sang 'Return to Sender' to him." 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2712 As if. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2713 It's Now or Never. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2714 This happens when you fly into Vegas for the ceremony. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2715 He’s trying to fool the field mice. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2716 I don’t think the Giuliani look works anymore. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2717 I think it's a little too 'Elvis.' 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2718 You gotta be cool, relax… 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
2719 I swear it's a comb over. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2720 As if the birds don’t know it’s not his feathers 1.2091 0.03895 110 87 23 0
2721 That toupee is really not very flattering. 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
2722 He's been watching Donald Trump 1.2088 0.05529 91 77 9 5
2723 I heard he wanted to winter in Egypt. Apparently he nested near denial. 1.2088 0.05303 91 76 11 4
2724 He’s been trying to woo the gloster canary in the next tree for weeks 1.2088 0.05303 91 76 11 4
2725 Well, at least it’s not a ducktail. 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2726 Technically, Haliaeetus leucocephalus Elvisaes 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
2727 Well would you look at him… proud as a peacock. 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
2728 Aren’t we more evolved than that? 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
2729 He muttered something about rebranding America … 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
2730 He’s having a bad hair day. 1.2088 0.05303 91 76 11 4
2731 I hear he also shakes a mean tail feather. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2732 He identifies as a peacock. 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
2733 After this rather insulting change, the breeding program took off. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2734 It's an elaborate "comb over". 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2735 It a recessive gene from his mother’s side. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2736 I heard housekeeping is missing a duster. 1.2083 0.05524 96 82 8 6
2737 I am so tired of seeing these Elvis wanna he’s since the movie came out. 1.2083 0.04250 120 98 19 3
2738 Never mind his hairdo-- he is a catch- faithful, sober, responsible, definitely no Elvis. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2739 That new chick in the next tree said he sounded like Elvis, and it went straight to his head. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2740 It's real, right? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2741 If he sings "I ain't nothin' but a hound dog" one more time, I'll clip his wings. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2742 Should we tell him that Elvis has left the building? 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2743 Hang in there, he'll be migrating soon 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2744 He knows he's not fooling anyone, right? 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2745 The chicks don't dig it. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2746 He's also been talking about buying a Porsche. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2747 It was bad enough when he insisted on bald-ING. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2748 The younger eagles call it ‘peacocking.’ 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2749 He thinks he’s so wonderful because he’s not turning grey. 1.2079 0.04295 101 81 19 1
2750 It's his only New York appearance. 1.2079 0.04295 101 81 19 1
2751 I've killed a fish and two mice by the time he's done working on that in the morning. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2752 What is the diagnosis?he only sees birds on the ink blot test 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2753 He's a bird of slay. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
2754 Who does he think he is? Elvis or Elton? 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
2755 There's no fool like an old fool. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
2756 At least it’s not an Afro. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
2757 Birds of a feather flock together. So Jimmy’s out. 1.2078 0.05944 77 65 8 4
2758 Well, he does look younger. 1.2075 0.04589 106 87 16 3
2759 I said he flew in from St. Tropez not Bad Toupee 1.2075 0.04965 106 89 12 5
2760 Looks great on Ernie but it won't stay on in the air! 1.2075 0.04780 106 88 14 4
2761 Man that’s a bad rug! 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2762 He thinks we won’t notice he’s bald. 1.2075 0.04780 106 88 14 4
2763 He's going a little cuckoo crazy. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
2764 Look at Marlon Birdo over there, prancing around. You know it’s a rug, right? 1.2073 0.05686 82 69 9 4
2765 What a waste of perfectly good roadkill 1.2069 0.04664 87 70 16 1
2766 Doesn't he know that's ill eagle? 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
2767 Supercilious, don't you think? 1.2069 0.04502 116 96 16 4
2768 I mean he always was a cock. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
2769 He’ll yeah, he’s a bald bastard! 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
2770 Just don't ask him for his autograph. 1.2069 0.04664 87 70 16 1
2771 Does he think he's fooling anybody? -- I mean, with eyes like ours? 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
2772 I guess the hair transplant really does work! 1.2069 0.04823 116 98 12 6
2773 He should have tried the feather plugs. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2774 I still think Jerry Lee Eagle was cooler. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2775 That's not all he has that's fake 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2776 He was the last presidential seal's model. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2777 Elvis is feeling a little shy 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2778 Look it's the "King of SQUAWK" 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2779 When his wife gets home, he will have hell toupee 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2780 oh oh.....here comes Love Me Tender 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2781 Is it just me or does Derek look especially fly today? 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2782 He always puts that hat on before flying down to make a kill. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2783 He takes our name so literal, its gone to his head. 1.2065 0.05687 92 79 7 6
2784 But he's so much more than a hound dog. 1.2063 0.03955 126 102 22 2
2785 He's still in denial about our species. 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
2786 A hunk a hunk of burning love he's not! 1.2062 0.05271 97 82 10 5
2787 The only one he's fooling is himself. 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
2788 You think he realizes that this takes him off the endangered species list? 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
2789 I'm not sure if its Elvis or Liberace,but I like it! 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
2790 Cock-a-toodle-oo. 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
2791 He ain’t nothin but an impersonator 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
2792 Maybe it's Maybelline... 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
2793 He thinks he’s superior to a bald eagle because he wears a toupee 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
2794 He has the charisma of Elvis, the flamboyance of Liberace and the confidence of Foghorn Leghorn! 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
2795 It does make him look younger 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2796 You know it's a toupee --right? 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2797 He says the toupee makes him feel like an egg again. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
2798 I think he looks pretty fly. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
2799 Whatever. He’s a bald eagle. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2800 From Graceland to Birdland, still the King 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2801 His migration had a layover in Graceland. 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
2802 Well, at least it is not orange. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2803 Does he really think "toupeed eagle" has the same ring to it? 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
2804 It’s a MoeHawk. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
2805 Why does he wear that rug? It’s just sensationally ugly. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2806 He never fully embraced the “bald is beautiful” aesthetic. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2807 See, what they do is, they take the hair from the back of your neck. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
2808 What next... Fedora's? 1.2059 0.04023 102 81 21 0
2809 He thinks that’ll get his picture on the dollar bill. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2810 He thinks he's Napoleon. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2811 He truly is a bald eagle. 1.2056 0.04739 107 89 14 4
2812 Who needs color? 1.2056 0.04351 107 87 18 2
2813 Jeez... he looks like Liberace! 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2814 He swears it's his own hair, but I have my doubts. 1.2056 0.04739 107 89 14 4
2815 he is SO black & white about everything 1.2056 0.04144 107 86 20 1
2816 He winters in Graceland." 1.2056 0.04351 107 87 18 2
2817 The Mississippi Crested Eagle 1.2055 0.06156 73 62 7 4
2818 Honestly, I just think it makes him look immature. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
2819 He's sure to get canceled for cultural appropriation. 1.2054 0.05095 112 96 9 7
2820 He wanted to be more aerodynamic. 1.2054 0.04039 112 90 21 1
2821 You can always tell a piece, can't ya? 1.2054 0.04233 112 91 19 2
2822 What’s a Liberace ? 1.2054 0.04419 112 92 17 3
2823 He thinks it makes him look younger but I think he just looks immature. 1.2054 0.04419 112 92 17 3
2824 A feather on the head is worth two on the tush. 1.2054 0.04419 112 92 17 3
2825 He said doesn't identify as a bald eagle. 1.2051 0.05873 78 66 8 4
2826 Well, at least he hasn't pierced his genitals yet. 1.2051 0.04629 117 98 14 5
2827 You should see his nest. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
2828 That's cousin Moe Hawk. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
2829 Yep. Hank is moving to The Villages. 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
2830 Please. No one in their right mind would ever put them on the back of a dollar bill. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
2831 He thinks no one can tell he’s molting. 1.2049 0.04346 122 101 17 4
2832 Where is the gown? 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
2833 He's out of his Sinatra obsession and back to Elvis. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
2834 he said he's tired of being stereotyped 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
2835 He just came back from Graceland. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2836 The cartoonist just spilled some ink so no need to worry that your husband is going through a midlife crisis or anything. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2837 He overheard someone calling him a “bald” eagle. 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
2838 He switched because he thought that the comb-over made him look like Trump 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2839 Prince had it right. Raspberry beret. 1.2048 0.05878 83 71 7 5
2840 Look, it's a Rug, next he will be dripping like Rudy! 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2841 Check out the mullet on Reg's head; it looks pretty fishy to me. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
2842 He's Canadian. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
2843 He says he wants a career as an Elvis impersonator! 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
2844 What's next? A convertible. 1.2047 0.04083 127 104 20 3
2845 I heard he had a parrotcedure 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2846 Elvis Eagle just doesn't have the same patriotic oomph. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2847 Apparently, he missed the memo that bald is beautiful. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2848 Gotta admit, he sure picks up chicks. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2849 BALD IS BETTER. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
2850 Yeah, he thought it would avoid his extinction 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2851 He’s just going through a semiquincentennial-life crisis. 1.2045 0.05636 88 75 8 5
2852 He insists it's real. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
2853 Dunno about the Elvis toupee. You? 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2854 He is trying to change his image to attract more prey 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
2855 I don't know ... he must be working out. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2856 MAGA pays him to wear it every Tuesday. 1.2043 0.04204 93 74 19 0
2857 I tried to explain that our name does not mean follicularly challenged! 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2858 and you really don't want to fly anywhere near him 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2859 Coiffed eagle? Nope, not going to fly. 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2860 We'll never be birds of a rug with him. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2861 Baldness does not affect members of his family. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2862 I don't mind the pompadour, but I'm not crazy about the beak curl. 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2863 I told you Elvis lives. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2864 He's always been a gourmand. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2865 He not only the president of the company, he is also a client. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2866 Well, If that's our new look, at least it's not a mullet! 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2867 I thought it was just a phase he would molt out of. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2868 I don't think 'Rug Eagle' sounds any better. 1.2039 0.05228 103 88 9 6
2869 Ladies and gentlemen,Elvis has left the roost. 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2870 He's from Memphis, his twin brother died when they hatched and ALL the chicks really dig him. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2871 He always was a bit more ‘ex uno plures.’ 1.2039 0.04221 103 83 19 1
2872 That's the worst comb-over I've ever seen. 1.2039 0.04221 103 83 19 1
2873 I bet it's a toupee. 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2874 No, it's not that - he just thinks he's Elvis. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2875 It’s tempting, but the upkeep on those things is no joke. 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2876 He ordered it from Amazon, it used to be a Pekingese. 1.2037 0.04880 108 91 12 5
2877 French maybe? 1.2037 0.04110 108 87 20 1
2878 Fred hated being called “bald”. 1.2037 0.04315 108 88 18 2
2879 He jenunely fall in love with her twercking 1.2037 0.04511 108 89 16 3
2880 He has never been the same since he saw "Elvis". 1.2037 0.05054 108 92 10 6
2881 One of the greatest names in ornithilogical history and he caves to his wife! 1.2037 0.04699 108 90 14 4
2882 I don't like talking behind people's backs. 1.2035 0.04560 113 94 15 4
2883 He keeps squawking “Don’t Be Cruel” too. 1.2035 0.04383 113 93 17 3
2884 Went to see Bye Bye Birdie. Thinks he’s Conway Twitty. 1.2035 0.04383 113 93 17 3
2885 He just realized that he's bald. 1.2035 0.04007 113 91 21 1
2886 I guess it beats the fruit headdress. 1.2035 0.04730 113 95 13 5
2887 I'm guessing he's a knockoff. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
2888 I think the eagle cam is going to his head. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2889 He's going for a Trump-Elvis hybrid look. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
2890 That's Elvis, the toupee eagle 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2891 An orange wig on an eagle only fools 33% . 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2892 He’s convinced himself that it looks totally natural. 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
2893 You can see that thing coming from a mile away. 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
2894 I can't help feeling a little self-conscious now 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2895 He was seen with Colonel Parker last week. 1.2024 0.04410 84 67 17 0
2896 I thought colour was the fall trend but it must be all about the hairstyles this season. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2897 He may not know it but he's heading for the Jungle Room at Graceland. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2898 Elvis impersonators are a dime a dozen but this guy can really sing! 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2899 Make his day -- tell him his new toupe' makes him look 10 years younger. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
2900 He says it’s transformative. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
2901 He’s grooming himself to branch out. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
2902 Maybe he can pull off the new look, but I don't know about the Ferrari. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2903 He's rejecting our colonial name. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
2904 I swear that thing on his head is mocking me, Lenny. 1.2022 0.04282 89 71 18 0
2905 Look what mating season has done to him! 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2906 Angry Bird? 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2907 They say he sings and plays the piano. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2908 Looks like Harry's been "trumped" 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
2909 Even with a Republican win, the comb-over eagle is still a loser. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
2910 It's his Elvis impersonation. 1.2022 0.04282 89 71 18 0
2911 It’s Elvis week. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2912 He gets it from your side of the family. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
2913 But why is he ashamed of being bald? 1.2021 0.04164 94 75 19 0
2914 I hear he's up for the plugged dollar. 1.2021 0.05365 94 80 9 5
2915 Shall we kick him out of the nest? 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
2916 If you think he looks pathetic now, you should've seen him with a comb over. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
2917 That loudmouth went to Morrie's Wigs again. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
2918 Is it my turn or yours tonight. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2919 He just migrated in from Paris 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
2920 He has a thing about being bald. 1.2021 0.05574 94 81 7 6
2921 He came back from the Tropics with it, and that stupid cockatoo, Cheryl. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
2922 Toupee, can you see? 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
2923 Changes. Everywhere you look, changes. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
2924 Well, what she said was that this beats the hell out of a bird in the hand.” 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2925 Thats quite a comb-over... 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2926 He's has a side gig as an Elvis impersonator. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2927 This will disrupt our whole branding initiative. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2928 He is one eighth cockatoo. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2929 I want to ask if he'll be our wingman. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2930 You may not like that pompadour but he'll blow you over when he croons Love Me Tender.. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2931 He's on the reboot of The Partridge Family. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2932 If he starts playing a guitar, I am outta here! 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2933 He dislikes being a BALD eagle. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2934 I never called him baldy, did you? 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2935 There he is, Mr. God Bless America 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2936 I heard it's a wig. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2937 Why? Because the chicks were ignoring him. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2938 Worst Elvis impersonator ever. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
2939 Actually, Elvis envied Roy Orbison’s hair . 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2940 He better enjoy that wig before I push it back. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2941 Apparently, "bald" just doesn't do it for the kids these days... 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2942 The toupée doesn't bother me, it's the way he sings. 1.2019 0.03955 104 83 21 0
2943 It's a toupee. He doesn't like being called " Baldy". 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2944 It's just road kill. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2945 I hear he's the second cousin of John Travolta. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2946 Patriotism/schmatriotism! 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
2947 He was Elvis in a previous life. 1.2018 0.04280 109 89 18 2
2948 Face it. You're jealous. 1.2018 0.04524 114 95 15 4
2949 It's kind of a turn-off for me. I hope they discover a cure for it someday. 1.2018 0.04524 114 95 15 4
2950 Who does he think he’s fooling with that feather toupee? 1.2018 0.04349 114 94 17 3
2951 Another Elvis impersonator… 1.2017 0.04061 119 97 20 2
2952 No inkling. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2953 Last week he was into the Beatles, this week it's Elvis. 1.2000 0.05519 90 77 8 5
2954 Another candidate for the Endangered Species Act. 1.2000 0.04954 105 89 11 5
2955 He's the last of the Elvis believers. 1.2000 0.04487 115 96 15 4
2956 He's a hunka hunka burnin' love. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2957 He fancies himself to be a dead ringer for Elvis. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2958 Bimbo pussycats, look out . .The owl has become an Eagle. The New Normal . ..out of his tree . . 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2959 . . . and another stereotype bites the dust. 1.2000 0.04924 100 84 12 4
2960 First the motorcycle. Then the tattoo. Of course it's a midlife crisis, Larry. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2961 The best part? He declassified it just by flapping his wings. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2962 That's a King Eagle. 1.2000 0.04522 120 101 14 5
2963 That's the Abe Lincoln model. He's hoping to be promoted from the one dollar bill. 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2964 His feather transplant was a success! 1.2000 0.03945 115 93 21 1
2965 He’s got the Elvis hair, but the pelvis NO. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2966 Says he wants to be called "Garth." 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2967 They say his geneticist can work wonders. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
2968 He thinks the toupee makes him look younger; wait until he flies in the wind! 1.2000 0.04244 110 90 18 2
2969 There goes the national symbol gig. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2970 He'll prove Darwin wrong. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2971 He is now a "they." Still fishes like a pro, but spends more time at the nest and talks on and on about flavor profiles. 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
2972 Did he mention the new Corvette? 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2973 He had to do something. He hasn't been laid since he was laid. 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
2974 At least it isn't an orange comb over. 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
2975 I believe that is your dad. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2976 I don't think acting French will get him more prey 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
2977 He's heard the curly bird catches the worm. 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2978 He doesn't want to be identified as an endangered species. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2979 That hairpiece looks ridiculous. 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
2980 This ELVIS thing really is getting out of hand. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2981 Rumor has it he’s the coolest dude in town” Zipporah Coleman, Lagos,Nigeria 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2982 He looks more like Fred Flintstone, to me! 1.2000 0.04954 105 89 11 5
2983 Why can’t he be happy with a comb-over like the rest of us? 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2984 He's running for office. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2985 And he said he ain’t nothin but a hound dog, 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2986 Why is he shunning us? 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2987 His ego required the toupee! 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
2988 He likes to operate incognito. 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2989 I told you that he looked like Elvis… 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2990 I wanted hair like that.. 1.2000 0.04621 110 92 14 4
2991 He gave up on his comb-over. 1.2000 0.04766 105 88 13 4
2992 He thinks he's Jonathan Livingston Eagle. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2993 He heard a forecast for purple rain. 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
2994 Next thing you know, he’ll be wearing his black belt! 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2995 He’s prepping for an Elvis impersonation. 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2996 I don't know what all the flap is about, I think he's pretty cute. 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
2997 When in Rome..... 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
2998 He just flew in from the Village. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2999 I don’t think he knows how to spell Wiggle 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
3000 A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
3001 He wasn't happy as a bald eagle. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
3002 Looks like ol' Baldy has been visiting that hair loss clinic on the quiet again ! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3003 Oh, that's Sam, but he insists that we call him Serge. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
3004 And he has Blue Suede Shoes 1.2000 0.05125 100 85 10 5
3005 He’s found a new place to dwell 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3006 David Attenborough must be in town. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
3007 He heard they're seeking a new James Bond. 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
3008 Another Elvis sighting" 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
3009 If his shoes are blue I can add him my life list 1.2000 0.05312 95 81 9 5
3010 I hear he has been dating a chicken. 1.1984 0.04066 126 104 19 3
3011 He thinks no one knows its a wig- it’s a verility thing! You wouldn’t understand… 1.1983 0.04617 116 98 13 5
3012 he thinks he is Eagle Flynn! 1.1983 0.04280 116 96 17 3
3013 He bought it with his nest egg. 1.1982 0.04400 111 92 16 3
3014 Didn’t he used to be bald? What gives with the toupee? 1.1982 0.04758 111 94 12 5
3015 Elvis isn't dead, he's just endangered 1.1982 0.04582 111 93 14 4
3016 He thinks it will help improve our global image. 1.1982 0.04210 111 91 18 2
3017 Well, it has been a lot, being the national symbol these days. Still, I wish he hadn't quit the team. 1.1981 0.04114 106 86 19 1
3018 He's still working on his Elvis impression. 1.1981 0.04530 106 88 15 3
3019 Well, I say Elvis was the King of Cultural Appropriation. 1.1981 0.05264 106 92 7 7
3020 He’s not just President of the Hair Club for Eagles; he’s also a client. 1.1981 0.04327 106 87 17 2
3021 See? I told you he's not dead! 1.1981 0.04724 106 89 13 4
3022 He picked it up out of the trash from the hair salon down the street. 1.1981 0.05090 106 91 9 6
3023 Someone threw it out and said: ! that’s for the birds!!! 1.1981 0.04530 106 88 15 3
3024 He’s been in denial since he heard what they call us.” 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
3025 Not trying to toot my own horn here, but I could do better than that. 1.1980 0.05078 101 86 10 5
3026 Is he planning on sitting there for the rest of his life? 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
3027 A bird with hair is worth two in the bush. 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
3028 And I thought we only grew feathers. 1.1980 0.04226 101 82 18 1
3029 Elvis fan? I thought he loved Roy Orbison! 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
3030 Sometimes I wish we had gone extinct. 1.1980 0.04226 101 82 18 1
3031 I could see it’s fake from a mile away. 1.1979 0.05048 96 81 11 4
3032 He's the avian representative of Hair Care for Men 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
3033 Vain, vapid, wimpy, myopic, and it won't last. 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
3034 He claims he's a very rare not-so-bald eagle. 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
3035 Yes, it’s obviously a wig, but he still looks real fine. 1.1979 0.05048 96 81 11 4
3036 Says it makes him look presidential, he says. 1.1979 0.05048 96 81 11 4
3037 Are any of us girls really attracted to a bald eagle? 1.1979 0.04348 96 78 17 1
3038 Dave’s Propecia is working wonders. He may be impotent, but his hair’s never looked better. 1.1979 0.05048 96 81 11 4
3039 The one that got loose had an orange rug. 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
3040 Now all we need is a national wigmaker." 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
3041 He's the only Elvis impersonator that lives in a nest. 1.1979 0.05465 96 83 7 6
3042 I'm proud to be a Bald Eagle, and besides, everyone knows it's a toupee. 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
3043 Seems like eagles are making a comeback in Vegas. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3044 Behold the rare Ave Raptori Baldus NARCISSI! 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3045 I told him "be yourself and embrace your species", but did he listen? 1.1978 0.05234 91 77 10 4
3046 He's not just the presidential mascot of Hair Club , he's also a client 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3047 I'll distract him while you sneak up behind him and pull it off. 1.1978 0.04199 91 73 18 0
3048 He's afraid to be recognized since the insurrection. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3049 I heard he's not only the CEO of Hair Club for Bald Eagles, but he's also a client! 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3050 Now there's a hunka hunka burn(d)in love! 1.1978 0.05234 91 77 10 4
3051 We don't consider him American 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3052 I always thought Elvis was a Dove. 1.1978 0.05463 91 78 8 5
3053 They went from song bird to Broadway Bird 1.1978 0.05234 91 77 10 4
3054 I bet that guy with the mullet rocks the cradle! 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
3055 Elvis Eagle. What’s not to like? 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
3056 At least he didn't go for the Bearded Vulture look... 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3057 And that, my friend, is the American Bald Divorcé. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3058 Do you have any plans to see him when he performs in Vegas? 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3059 HE THINKS HE'S TH CAT'S MEOW 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3060 He doesn't want to be confused with Trump. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3061 It's more than his song, you should see his moves." 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3062 He just isn't able to accept his early male pattern baldness 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3063 you'd think he'd go for a more natural color. 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
3064 Yeah; but he has a six month engagement in Las Vegas. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3065 He's wigging out. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3066 He knows we're monarchists at heart. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3067 I heard he's running for President in '24. 1.1977 0.04320 86 69 17 0
3068 I bet know he thinks he's got a chance with that loose cockatoo. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
3069 Now they'll be calling us "Rug Eagles". 1.1975 0.05937 81 70 6 5
3070 A crow shit on his head. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
3071 We're flying to Graceland this fall 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
3072 His tastes have always been presidential. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
3073 It's in honor of Eddie the Eagle." 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
3074 Aren't we already vain enough? 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
3075 Blown off course. Wintered in Paris. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
3076 You think that it's appropriate to play Wild Cherry's 'Play That Funky Music' right now? 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
3077 He's either a non-bald eagle or an Elvis impersonator. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
3078 He's known as the Eagle Elvis. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
3079 He thinks it makes him look like Elvis. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
3080 He doesn't get that bald is part of his identity 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
3081 He seems to think he's Elvis now. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
3082 In his defense, you asked him to bring hare for dinner. 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
3083 Even worse, he wants us to call him ‘45’. 1.1964 0.04176 112 92 18 2
3084 If the ladies like it, it works for me. 1.1963 0.04491 107 89 15 3
3085 Since he got the wig he acts so superior. 1.1963 0.04290 107 88 17 2
3086 Why do I feel the blues after seeing his hair? 1.1963 0.04080 107 87 19 1
3087 Yeah I told him he looks like Elvis to give him a boost. 1.1963 0.04491 107 89 15 3
3088 He’s hoping Marge flys by. 1.1963 0.04683 107 90 13 4
3089 He's not your type. 1.1963 0.04080 107 87 19 1
3090 Don't ask about the carpet. 1.1963 0.04080 107 87 19 1
3091 We're not bald, Frank! 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
3092 It's part of his Oscar Wilde imitation. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
3093 Youth? 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
3094 It seems that Elvis has not left the building. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
3095 You ain't nothin' but a houndbird crying all the time. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
3096 He must have escaped from Graceland or Mar-a-Lago? 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
3097 Elvis is back. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
3098 He says I'm nothing but a Hound Dog! 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
3099 At least he wears it well. 1.1959 0.04051 97 78 19 0
3100 A little bit of Elvis? 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
3101 He's not only a client, he's the president. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
3102 You should hear him sing 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
3103 I don't know. I think it may be a rug. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
3104 All the birdwatchers asked Richie to get the rug so they could tell us apart. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
3105 He was never comfortable with the name. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
3106 Instead of the national bird, he wants to be a hunka hunka burning love. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
3107 Where is a stone when you need it? 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
3108 He just came back from California. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
3109 'What's he hiding under that?' 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
3110 He thinks it will hide America’s problems. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
3111 I think the wig makes her look fat. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
3112 You know those aren't real feathers, right? 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
3113 He’s still a bald Eagle 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
3114 Dye and comb overs have become quite popular since the last election. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
3115 I don't buy the Elvis impersonation. 1.1957 0.05182 92 78 10 4
3116 I guess some of us are more vain than others. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
3117 Sure,he looks younger but he can kiss the back of the dollar bill goodbye. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
3118 His name is Rockin' Billy. He's the headliner at the Birdseed on Saturday night.Wanna go? 1.1957 0.05182 92 78 10 4
3119 I guess you must be Colonel Parker 1.1957 0.04159 92 74 18 0
3120 It came on after she ate the Komondor. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
3121 It flies like a raven, but handles like a peacock. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
3122 That species is very endangered. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
3123 Side effect from the bird flu. Now he’s ill-eagle. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
3124 Mating season comes earlier every year. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3125 It's gotta be a wig, right? 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3126 Rumor has it he spent his whole nest egg on that wig. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3127 You know, he may be on to something. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3128 Elvis...said his name is Elvis. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3129 He saw a commercial for the Hair Club and he never looked back. 1.1954 0.05626 87 75 7 5
3130 Some eagles just can't handle losing their youth 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3131 No way he can sing like that guy could! 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3132 He got sick of being called a baldie. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3133 That is Sy Flyer. He is the President of Hair Club for Birds. He is also a customer. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
3134 But can he sing like Elvis? 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3135 Sure, we survived DDT, but I'm telling you, Rogaine will be the end of bald eagles. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3136 He has HAIR, Or is it just the background? 1.1951 0.05869 82 71 6 5
3137 He thinks the squirrel who dropped that on him is his friend. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3138 I told you it wasn't a conspiracy, he's alive. 1.1951 0.05869 82 71 6 5
3139 I saw you displaying for my husband from two miles back, Sheena! 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3140 He sings like Sinatra but the rug gives him away. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3141 He eschews waste of any part of his prey. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3142 Don’t be cruel…let’s just hope he doesn’t put on blue suede shoes. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3143 I think it's Elvis 1.1949 0.03855 118 96 21 1
3144 I hear he’s worried about being bald his entire life” 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
3145 He doesn't get metaphor. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
3146 Don’t laugh, he doesn’t think anyone will notice. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
3147 Protected? My tailfeathers! Watch these talons take that ridiculous rug from seriously endangered to total extinction. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
3148 Personally, I'd rather be known as a bald eagle than an Elvis impersonator. 1.1947 0.04508 113 95 14 4
3149 It’s Louise Brooks . . . The Girl with the Black Helmet! 1.1947 0.04680 113 96 12 5
3150 I say the two of us flock together. 1.1944 0.04453 108 90 15 3
3151 He identifies as a whirligig. 1.1944 0.05002 108 93 9 6
3152 At least it isn't yellow tending to orange. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
3153 Who does he think he's kidding? I could see that it was fake from the other side of town. 1.1944 0.04453 108 90 15 3
3154 He's very self conscious about being thought of as bald 1.1944 0.04453 108 90 15 3
3155 I can't be with someone who doesn't have gray areas. 1.1944 0.04453 108 90 15 3
3156 Toupeé. 1.1942 0.04588 103 86 14 3
3157 He identifies as coiffured. 1.1942 0.04588 103 86 14 3
3158 I said taupe suited him... 1.1942 0.04376 103 85 16 2
3159 What's the point? 1.1942 0.04588 103 86 14 3
3160 Startling yes, but not Sterling. 1.1942 0.04376 103 85 16 2
3161 Hey, it’s Mister Chick Magnet! 1.1942 0.04986 103 88 10 5
3162 And after he lands a mate, he’ll use it in building a nest. 1.1939 0.04268 98 80 17 1
3163 He may be made of tin but he has a heart of gold. 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
3164 He has left the birdhouse. 1.1939 0.04508 98 81 15 2
3165 Don't let that fool you- he's no spring chicken. 1.1939 0.04014 98 79 19 0
3166 He's flying to Vegas tonight for the Elvis impersonator convention. 1.1939 0.04014 98 79 19 0
3167 Does he even play the piano? 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
3168 He doesn't buy into the "baldness is beautiful" motto anymore. And he's denying his heritage and no longer wants to be referred to as a "bald" eagle. It all came about when he met a hairy toad who changed his thinking. 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
3169 He thinks that hair piece makes him look like a World Leader. 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
3170 He is been wearing it ever since he saw the new Elvis movie!You should hear his scream! Electric! 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
3171 He’s up for the lead in the “Blue Hawaii” remake. 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
3172 Yeah, that's where they transplanted the feathers from! 1.1939 0.05161 98 84 9 5
3173 He fell deep into the “Hawks News” bubble. 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
3174 I think Suspicious Minds is next 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
3175 He swears it’s not a wig. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
3176 I told him that 'bald eagle' is a misnomer but he wouldn't listen. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
3177 I told him that the documents he declassified with his mind would stay declassified longer if his hair was black. 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
3178 And when he shakes his hips the chicks really flock…. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
3179 "He's so charismatic, I would storm the nest for him" 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
3180 Bert’s new hair looks great! Do you think it’s a toupee? 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
3181 You won't believe the way he shakes his pelvis. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
3182 Does he really think we can’t tell it’s a toupee? 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
3183 At least we don't have to pay for haircuts. 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
3184 That rug makes me happy to be bald 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
3185 Doves love it. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
3186 The chicks dig it 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
3187 He's waiting for that new zookeeper. 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
3188 He thinks it makes him look younger. I think it makes him look like a birdbrain. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
3189 Daddy is wearing a toupee. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
3190 He thinks his new haircut looks good, just wait until I poop on it later. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
3191 Hasn't been himself since the Osprey won his guitar with a straight 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
3192 I think he's trying to look like Trump! 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3193 He insists he's a Toupee eagle 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
3194 Our proud reputation won't be restored until he's locked up in a cage somewhere. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
3195 He thought he people would think he's Eric Adams but now he looks like Trump. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3196 Why can't he accept he is a bald eagle? 1.1932 0.05566 88 76 7 5
3197 Diane, I think our neighbor is a MAGAgle 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
3198 He expects me to make a ‘Bald Eagle’ joke, but I’m just gonna call him “Yul Brynner’. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3199 SDCQ! SDCQ! I told you! Small Dick Comes Quick! 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
3200 He’s a Donald Trump wanna-be! Just humor him! 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
3201 The American Toupeed Eagle just doesn't have the same ring to it. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3202 Who's going to tell him that he's a different type of Eagle? 1.1932 0.04233 88 71 17 0
3203 Hey,who’s that guy on the branch? What’s he doing? Something fowl? 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
3204 He definitely ain't no hound dog 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
3205 His new barber is trying to hide his grays. 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
3206 I wonder who they got to play Sandy 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
3207 You might say well coiffed, but I say insecure. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3208 I hope he knows that he is no longer on the endangered species list 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3209 James, you're not fooling anyone. Your vibe is much more perennial than Millennial. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3210 I’d have gone with a berber rather than a shag. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3211 That leaf isn't fooling anyone. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3212 Everyone’s know he’s bald. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3213 I KNEW HE WANTED TO BE THE LEAD SINGER. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3214 He was hatched in Graceland 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
3215 He's still bald. It's just a comb-over. 1.1927 0.04604 109 92 13 4
3216 Well the spray tan didn't take but at least the hair cut came through 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
3217 He used to be in the movies." 1.1923 0.04338 104 86 16 2
3218 It does wonders for his self esteem. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3219 Comb over. 1.1923 0.04749 104 88 12 4
3220 We hired an Elvis impersonator since Mike Hawk already had a gig for tonight. 1.1923 0.04117 104 85 18 1
3221 Nor does he sound like Elvis. 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
3222 Do you think that’s his real hair? 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
3223 Nice look for a nice guy but it doesn't make up for... you know. 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
3224 He's flying to Miami Beach on Friday. 1.1923 0.04941 104 89 10 5
3225 He’s such an iconoclast. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
3226 You should see him gyrating his tail when he sings. It's sinful. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
3227 Dare you to say "hey, what's different about you today?" 1.1919 0.05112 99 85 9 5
3228 He’s going to an Elvis impersonators conference. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
3229 Oh please. He’s not fooling anyone with those wing implants. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
3230 I blame TikTok. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
3231 Wanna bet he thinks we won't notice the comb over? 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
3232 The hair piece looks real. 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
3233 He's the great White Hope! 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
3234 We have to tell him...wouldn't you want to know if there was something insane stuck to your head? 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
3235 Ever since Bill started rockin' the Elvis wig, he thinks he has to have his own perch. 1.1915 0.05300 94 81 8 5
3236 When he shakes his hip feathers, I swoon! 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
3237 Unfortunately his Elvis imitation stinks. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
3238 Bald, or Elvis impersonator. Which is worse? 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
3239 That’s got to be a toupee !! 1.1915 0.05300 94 81 8 5
3240 I only mate with skin heads, what about you? 1.1913 0.04924 115 100 8 7
3241 His cover of Pretty Woman isn’t bad. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
3242 Is he getting cast as Elvis too? 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
3243 He has always griped about the name, but I never thought he’d go this far 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
3244 So then he sued all the states and demanded a recount…so he lost twice. 1.1910 0.05507 89 77 7 5
3245 Should we tell him that ‘bald’ means ‘white’? 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3246 He looked better before he went toupee. 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
3247 And he still thinks nobody can tell. 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
3248 Last time I told dad it was a terrible combover, he stormed the capital. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3249 He only dates red-tails now. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
3250 He’s thinking of running for president. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
3251 It doesn't matter, he'll never play the piano. 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
3252 I'd say going for a new look is a feather in one's cap. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
3253 i knew a guy with hair like that….messed with the aerodynamics 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3254 Damn MAGA eagles. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
3255 Improvement or not, it's distinctly unpatriotic. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3256 He's courting some hot young chick. 1.1909 0.04184 110 91 17 2
3257 His odd toupee isn't conducive to mating. 1.1909 0.03980 110 90 19 1
3258 We all know it's fake but the chicks seem to dig it. 1.1909 0.04565 110 93 13 4
3259 He's a rare Pompadoor Pigeon formerly of Jailhouse #9 if you get my drift. 1.1909 0.04184 110 91 17 2
3260 I don't have time for drama. 1.1909 0.04379 110 92 15 3
3261 It's obvious: he dyes his hair. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3262 That's "Rockin Robin" you can't believe his tweets 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3263 Now he wants us to call him Elvis 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3264 He's going through a mid-life crisis and only wants to be referred to as "The King" now... 1.1905 0.04897 105 90 10 5
3265 I didn't think anything could be worse than his comb-over. 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
3266 Elvis impersonator. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3267 Debonair?! I'm telling you, Ethel, I won't wear one. That's final! 1.1905 0.04707 105 89 12 4
3268 Somebody really needs to tell him to give it up and go gray. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
3269 He keeps insisting that a performance is more than the melody. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3270 Bet you he'll lose the rug the first time he dives for a fish! 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
3271 No. He insists. It's eagledoodle. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3272 And you thought Trump's hair looked atrocious. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3273 Anders und doch gleich. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3274 Don’t worry, he’ll grow out of it honey. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3275 Toupee'd eagle just doesn't have the same ring to it. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3276 He's the eagle formerly known as 'Bald'. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
3277 He ain’t nothing but a sound hog -- and he ain’t no flock of mine. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
3278 He says he just got tired of them calling him "bald." 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
3279 It's his Johnny Cash phase. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
3280 He's going hairy. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
3281 He doesn't identify as eagle anyway 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
3282 It different. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
3283 Well, I still don’t think he looks like Elvis! 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
3284 It's spooky. You can hardly tell she's wearing a wig. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
3285 He thinks he's not bald anymore. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
3286 I think the Elvis thing may have gone a bit too far. 1.1900 0.05064 100 86 9 5
3287 He calls himself the King of Molt and Fowl 1.1900 0.05064 100 86 9 5
3288 It's a bald-headed lie. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
3289 moi après avoir regardé le film d'elvis 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
3290 …and his wife got beak filler too. 1.1900 0.05260 100 87 7 6
3291 Honestly? Frank is the best looking of all of us. I think he should be the one on the dollar bill. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
3292 Bob's a rug eagle 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
3293 It’s tough entering the dating game at his age 1.1899 0.04441 79 64 15 0
3294 He's been watching a lot of Drag Race. 1.1897 0.04567 116 99 12 5
3295 Somehow, he thinks the dye job makes America greater. 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
3296 ”Despite her looks, she is not one of us, that’s for sure. 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
3297 Hmm such a stuck up American Wayne Newton Cardinal 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
3298 It looks great, but he was stuck with a big bill. 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
3299 His girlfriend lives in the attic above the new hair salon. 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
3300 They started the hormone treatments about a year ago. 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
3301 Our generation wanted a different kind of peace 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
3302 Isn't it a bit late for democracy to have a midlife crisis? 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
3303 But would you want your boyfriend to have better hair than you? 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
3304 I see that new Hair Club for Eagles just opened! 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
3305 Sephora, you know what they say, the bigger the toupée . . . 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
3306 Yeah, but can he pick up a field mouse at 70 miles per hour? 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
3307 Is that Young Elvis or Old Elvis? 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
3308 What makes him think he can pass as an Elvis impersonator? 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
3309 He thinks he can make it in Vegas. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
3310 What exactly is he hiding? 1.1892 0.04343 111 93 15 3
3311 Looks like Elvis is taking this whole "bald eagle" thing a little too seriously. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
3312 Vanity thy name is Bald Eagle 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
3313 Ralph's decided to go to Vegas as an Elvis impersonator. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
3314 A toupee won't make this cackler a crooner! 1.1892 0.04876 111 96 9 6
3315 Not only does he own the Hair Club For Birds, but he's also a client. 1.1889 0.05216 90 77 9 4
3316 I actually think it makes him look fat. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
3317 Does Bill look younger to you today? 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
3318 Why couldn’t he just buy a sports car like the rest of us? 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
3319 Here's the plan: as soon as Dad flies away,you pull out the liquor and I'll order the pizza. 1.1889 0.05450 90 78 7 5
3320 That toupee makes him feel French. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
3321 I was going to get one ..but it was a big price toupee.” R.Weingas 1.1889 0.05450 90 78 7 5
3322 Doesn’t take an eagle eye to see that’s a rug 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
3323 He thinks he’s fooling everybody! 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
3324 Whiggery is nonsense." 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
3325 Reminds of that Seinfeld episode where George wears a toupee. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
3326 You gotta be kidding me. The guy looks like a friggin cockatiel! 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
3327 He thinks people think we are bald. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
3328 Next thing you know, he'll be shaking his tail feathers and stealing all the girls. 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
3329 So what.......he is wearing a toupee!. 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
3330 He's still mad about the tweet critiquing his parenting techniques. 1.1889 0.04149 90 73 17 0
3331 Elvis is so passe! I'm with Lil Nas X!! 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
3332 We’ll know if it’s real or not when the storm blows through. 1.1889 0.05216 90 77 9 4
3333 His wife left him for someone she met on OkEagle. 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
3334 Who? Elvis? 1.1887 0.04665 106 90 12 4
3335 I knew him before he was a cardinal. 1.1887 0.04263 106 88 16 2
3336 It's a rug. Somebody told him that chicks don't flock to a guy with a bald head. 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
3337 What's that about "a bird in the hand"? 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
3338 Elvis called. He wants his hair back. 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
3339 Sure, nobody wants to be bald, just don't tell him it's a ducktail. 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
3340 He thinks he's the next Orbison. He wishes. 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
3341 He thinks he has a future in Vegas as an Elvis impersonator. 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
3342 Who's going to tell him that the toupe doesn't fool anybody? 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
3343 My first sighting of the elusive toupee’s eagle! 1.1882 0.04265 85 69 16 0
3344 More like a peacock, if you ask me. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
3345 You think it's too obvious? 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
3346 He also thinks he can sing like Elvis. 1.1882 0.05422 85 73 8 4
3347 Meet the new Nevada State Bird 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
3348 Does he own a mirror? 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
3349 A bald eagle with a toupe? What a birdbrain. 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
3350 He thinks he's a bird version of Elvis and we''ll go flocking to him. What a fool!!!! 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
3351 Does he know how ridiculous he looks? 1.1881 0.05211 101 88 7 6
3352 Harry is ashamed about being a "bald" eagle. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
3353 Really? I didn't even notice. 1.1875 0.04756 96 81 12 3
3354 Do you think the carpet matches the drapes? 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
3355 That one is a Rug Eagle. 1.1875 0.04307 112 94 15 3
3356 It may not look natural, but it’s a step up from the comb-over. 1.1875 0.04519 96 80 14 2
3357 Some guy's toupee fell out of the 38th floor window and he put it on, instead of wearing the usual comb over. 1.1875 0.04756 96 81 12 3
3358 Don't laugh, the girls love it. Natural Selection strikes again. 1.1875 0.04981 96 82 10 4
3359 He says he's channeling Elvis. 1.1875 0.04756 96 81 12 3
3360 Dad’s wearing a toupee? 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
3361 I bet it is all rat hair. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
3362 He’s finding prey and himself. 1.1875 0.04756 96 81 12 3
3363 He likes to fish in piece. 1.1875 0.04270 96 79 16 1
3364 It's a wig. It's a wig. 1.1875 0.04270 96 79 16 1
3365 An eagle with a toupee? What is he thinking? 1.1875 0.04981 96 82 10 4
3366 I know it looks ridiculous, but you should hear his "Jailhouse Rock"! 1.1875 0.04270 96 79 16 1
3367 Go wig or go home. 1.1875 0.04519 96 80 14 2
3368 Between us, I’m glad he’s no longer a protected species. 1.1875 0.05652 80 69 7 4
3369 Does he know how ridiculous that toupee looks? 1.1870 0.04057 123 103 17 3
3370 He says the young chicks dig it. 1.1869 0.04625 107 91 12 4
3371 I should never have bought him that Etch A Sketch. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
3372 "I'm not sure being bald is so bad. 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
3373 What'with the toupee? 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
3374 It all started when he saw 'Goodfellas' at that drive-in movie theater. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
3375 He mentally declassifies better when he has that thing on his head. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
3376 Doesn't feel like a cartoon to me... 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
3377 Do you believe in reincarnation? 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
3378 He's into Elvis. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
3379 Doesn’t he know that bald is sexy? 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
3380 He claims he’s growing it out for charity. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
3381 His hero is Donald Trump. 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
3382 I can get on board with the hair, but I draw the line at him saying he ain't nothin' but a hound dog. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
3383 He expects the Flying Elvis’s to call him any day now. Or, maybe it was the Eagles. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
3384 The color matches perfectly. 1.1863 0.04117 102 84 17 1
3385 He says he wants a name change. 1.1863 0.04346 102 85 15 2
3386 Do you think they'll believe he's still alive if I get his autograph? 1.1863 0.04346 102 85 15 2
3387 No More Birdshit 2024. 1.1863 0.04346 102 85 15 2
3388 He’s training to be an Elvis impersonator. 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
3389 You should see how he wiggles when he sings 1.1863 0.04346 102 85 15 2
3390 He's leading the "Don't Say Bald" movement... 1.1863 0.04772 102 87 11 4
3391 I can understand his need to be different,but why the comb over? 1.1863 0.04346 102 85 15 2
3392 If Charles Darwin's theory about survival of the fittest is correct... 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3393 Sure he's in his 1/4th life crisis, but he caught the beaver himself. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
3394 All i know is he really had em rockin and he gets all the chicks 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
3395 The rest of us just accept our baldness and live with it. But Bob? No! Not Bob! 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
3396 Remember when he used to bring us treats fifty times a day? 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
3397 Would it be rude to ask for a photo? 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3398 I only wish you had thought of it first. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3399 I told you he looks like Elvis! 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
3400 Has the Eagle left the building or just flown the coop ? 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
3401 He thinks he is so cool with the rug he found. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3402 I told you rockabilly's for the birds. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3403 Yeah the breakup was pretty rough, but Nial's really doing some great focusing on himself. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
3404 ... and don't get me started on their music! 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3405 Quick, Attenborough yourself! 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3406 Martha, look! It's Birdie Holly! 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
3407 Gossip Girl 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
3408 You know it’s a piece, I heard it from Gertie at the park. 1.1860 0.04221 86 70 16 0
3409 It's his homage to Elvis. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
3410 He's never been the same since 'can't help falling in love' came out. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3411 He's still contesting the election with his Trump comb-over. 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
3412 I don’t care what you think…I think he looks stately! 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
3413 Rug? That’s wall-to-wall carpeting! 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
3414 Don't ask him about his Elvis fixation. 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
3415 Ever since he fell, he's been all shook up. 1.1856 0.04230 97 80 16 1
3416 He's singing "Hound Dog" on America's Got Talons. 1.1852 0.05586 81 70 7 4
3417 Oh, I don't know. Does he look younger to you? 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
3418 Look at Paul Deagle over there. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
3419 At least it's a whole lot better than when he used to have that awful comb-over. 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
3420 He doesn't even have a left wing. 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
3421 I caught his act in Vegas. 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
3422 Fuck he's so hot. 1.1852 0.05586 81 70 7 4
3423 What makes you think he's wandering from the nest? 1.1852 0.05586 81 70 7 4
3424 He thinks he's so hot with his new hairpiece. Wait till they find out that he's just as bald as the rest of us. 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
3425 He may look like Elvis, but he can't sing. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
3426 He was a nobody until TikTok 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
3427 Not impressive. Any bird can swoop down and snatch a wig off a pretentious human. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
3428 You don't want to hear him impersonating Elvis 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
3429 I'll probably go for the mullet. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
3430 It just can't be him, Elvis has been gone for years. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
3431 I wish I knew who his barber is! 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
3432 What ever he had to pay for that toupee was too much. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
3433 Classic case of overcompensation. The only thing bigger than his aerie is his ego. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
3434 He's been this way ever since he became an empty-nester... 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
3435 Elvis with an E 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
3436 I don't know about you but I think someone ought to tell him that his toupee needs to be changed 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
3437 His stupid vanity will bring fame and fortune to a very lucky taxadermist. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
3438 He doesn't realize that it covers only some of his white hair 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
3439 Pshaw. Wait 'til you see Bob Marley... 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
3440 So, what’s with the bad toupee? 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
3441 Vanity, thy name is Haliaeetus Leucocephalus. 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
3442 He's been flying over too many of Donald Trump's rallies. 1.1842 0.04417 114 97 13 4
3443 He's really a bald eagle. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3444 I thought Elvis was dead. 1.1842 0.05837 76 66 6 4
3445 Talk about one-dimensional beauty. 1.1842 0.04476 76 62 14 0
3446 It just doesn’t seem like a particularly natural selection 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
3447 You'd think that being National Symbol would be enough, but no ~ Uncle Sam over there has to go out and sport a toupee.... 1.1839 0.05305 87 75 8 4
3448 He can put a rug on it, but he's still a bald eagle 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
3449 He couldn't resist using the Hair Club coupon. 1.1839 0.04178 87 71 16 0
3450 He donated the ponytail to charity. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
3451 I told you that he was the spitting image of Conway Twitty in his prime! He is making all the chicks coo! 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
3452 My bad. I told him his song sounded like Roy Orbison. 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
3453 I mean, it's right there in the name of our species. 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
3454 If it’s not a bald eagle than what is it? 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
3455 I'm just saying, there's nothing 'cool' about betraying your heritage. 1.1837 0.04191 98 81 16 1
3456 ...somehow don't think "Toupee'ed Eagle" is gonna fly.. 1.1837 0.04191 98 81 16 1
3457 Trading American symbol for sex symbol? 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
3458 I warned him those Minoxidil tablets weren't seeds. 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
3459 I know we are supposed to be bald but at one point we had hair 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
3460 Elvis is in the nest! 1.1837 0.04886 98 84 10 4
3461 Hey, what happens in the forest, stays in the forest. 1.1837 0.04886 98 84 10 4
3462 They call him the King of Hawk and Vole. 1.1837 0.04191 98 81 16 1
3463 HMPHH! Elvis impersonator, Shmelvis impersonator 1.1835 0.04546 109 93 12 4
3464 It's like the drunk's hair-dye meets the traitor-in-chef's combover. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
3465 I understand the toupee as a personal choice,but I draw the line at using spray tan! 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
3466 He thinks it's a convocation starter. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
3467 Calls himself Darwin. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
3468 He prefers to be called a 'Folicly Challenged Eagle.' 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
3469 He thinks looking regal will give him a cool nickname. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
3470 I heard he just joined the gym. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
3471 I wish Elvis would leave the building. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
3472 Oh, look, another sucker who invested in hair club for eagles. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
3473 He wants to be called an Elvis eagle, not bald. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
3474 Don't you think Papa is the handsomest bird you ever saw? 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
3475 He thinks that it makes him look like Elvis 1.1828 0.04310 93 77 15 1
3476 Another ribald eagle? 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
3477 I TOLD you he is a bald eagle! 1.1828 0.05058 93 80 9 4
3478 Now he is just an eagle. 1.1828 0.04310 93 77 15 1
3479 So, the humans are technically correct that he lives… 1.1828 0.05284 93 81 7 5
3480 Haven't you ever seen a mohawk? 1.1828 0.05058 93 80 9 4
3481 He forgets that he’s as bald eagle. He thinks he’s a heron. 1.1828 0.05058 93 80 9 4
3482 Those BBQ bird seeds really did something for Jim's hair. 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
3483 Now that's what I call a hair don't. 1.1828 0.04030 93 76 17 0
3484 Toupee or toucher? 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
3485 Should we ask him the secret to his healthy and bushy hair? 1.1828 0.05058 93 80 9 4
3486 Stop worrying, it's what's on the inside that counts. 1.1827 0.04045 104 86 17 1
3487 He says he's getting ready to fly to Vegas to star as an Elvis impersonator. 1.1827 0.04045 104 86 17 1
3488 Coo-coo I say 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
3489 Do you wanna tell him it’s actually “Balde” Eagle? 1.1827 0.04045 104 86 17 1
3490 He thinks it will help him find a mate 1.1826 0.04018 115 96 17 2
3491 Shall we jump up and down? 1.1826 0.04018 115 96 17 2
3492 Ever since he came back from Vegas he has been curling his beak in disdain at everyone. 1.1818 0.04393 99 83 14 2
3493 Who does he think he is? Elvis? 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
3494 He said his bald spot makes him feel insecure. 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
3495 Such an odd guy! He keeps tweeting “the eagle bas landed! Get ready to go out on a limb.” 1.1818 0.05492 88 77 6 5
3496 Who did his head feathers,I'am in love!! 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3497 I suggested that he just wear a hat, but no..... 1.1818 0.04424 77 63 14 0
3498 His mother was a cockatoo. 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3499 Species evolve on a continual basis. 1.1818 0.04152 99 82 16 1
3500 HE SORT OF LOOKS LIKE ELVIS, DON'T YOU THINK? 1.1818 0.04152 99 82 16 1
3501 Don't call him 'Elvis'. He's very sensitive about it. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
3502 He really likes the omelet bar at Mar-a-lago 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
3503 Does he thinks he's Elvis? 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3504 That hair really ruffles feathers. 1.1818 0.04121 110 92 16 2
3505 He’s the black sheep of the family 1.1818 0.04121 110 92 16 2
3506 He’s going through an identity crisis. 1.1818 0.04152 99 82 16 1
3507 That bald eagle will need more than a toupee to fool prey animals. 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
3508 He may be uppity now but baldness runs in his family. 1.1818 0.04840 99 85 10 4
3509 And he swears it's not comb-over. 1.1818 0.05048 99 86 8 5
3510 He's not Elvis, he's an Elvis imitator. 1.1818 0.04393 99 83 14 2
3511 IS THAT A TOUPEE OR IS IT A MUTATION IN OUR GENOME? 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
3512 I don't care, I think $180 for a haircut is excessive 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
3513 He had a mid-flight crisis and started nesting with some young chick. 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
3514 He’s auditioning for the new quarter. 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
3515 He’s always the first to call “shotgun”. 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
3516 Thinks he 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3517 What a weenie. Being called a "Bald Eagle" emberrasses him. 1.1818 0.04840 99 85 10 4
3518 His plumage has gone to his head. 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
3519 If you think his Elvis impersonation is bad, just wait until you see his Peacock routine. 1.1818 0.04840 99 85 10 4
3520 It doesn't make him fly any faster. 1.1810 0.04170 116 98 15 3
3521 It’s just a figure of speech! 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
3522 He came home from Bonaroo and now he doesn’t preen. 1.1810 0.03775 105 86 19 0
3523 We're supposed to be bald. 1.1810 0.03775 105 86 19 0
3524 Don't waste your time telling him it looks ridiculous. 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
3525 He's hoping they'll put him on the new quarter 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
3526 Serves him right for not getting vaccinated 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
3527 Did you ever flush while on the pot, only to realize that it's clogged when the water reaches your bits? 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
3528 He never liked the idea of being a "bald" eagle. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
3529 Loves Elvis toons! 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
3530 I can’t believe that the artist made us look like this! 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
3531 Such a brazen rejection of his namesake. 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
3532 She told him a beret wouldn't make him look so bald. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
3533 Hey's trying to look like Elvis but his voice is for the birds. 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
3534 He said someone mistook him for a bald eagle. John Merton Marrs, Port Angeles, Wash. 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
3535 He got tired of being called a bald eagle. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
3536 Sellout… 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
3537 It's a phase 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
3538 Do you figure this evolutionary mutation will stick? 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
3539 At least he’s handling this better than the time someone called him a “basic wardrobe eagle”… 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
3540 Yes, it’s a toupee. He is a insecure bald eagle. 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
3541 And they call us bald 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
3542 It’s just phase. He’ll grow out of it. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
3543 It’s fake. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
3544 Elvis he isn't. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
3545 Poor thing. We told him Betty’s always loved a good toucan and now this… 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
3546 I think he's attracting the wrong sort of attention. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
3547 He's trying to get on the cover of Audubon Magazine 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
3548 You know he sings at the club on Saturday nights. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
3549 He doesn’t think the convocation would elect a bald leader. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
3550 He tries to hide it, but we all know he's balding. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
3551 He was overwhelmed, all he could say was ‘thank you, thank you very much.’ 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
3552 I tried telling him to not take it literally... 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
3553 My Word! A Hair Hat on a Bald Eagle? Seems Aileen Mercedes Cannon Isn't the only one suffering A catastrophic lapse in Judgement! 1.1802 0.04087 111 93 16 2
3554 That's Bob, the not-so-bald eagle. 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
3555 So do you think his hair is fake too? 1.1800 0.04795 100 86 10 4
3556 Wait, you don’t know Eagle Presley? 1.1800 0.04579 100 85 12 3
3557 He’s the Elvis of eagle Elvis impersonators. 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
3558 They can do great things with rabbit skin these days! 1.1800 0.04795 100 86 10 4
3559 'Call me BOLD Eagle,' he says. Like that's going to get anyone fed. 1.1800 0.04795 100 86 10 4
3560 …it HAS to be, right? I mean, we’ve all seen his picture on the dollar bill and he sure as hell didn’t have it THEN! Honestly, who does he think he’s foolin’? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
3561 He's white?! 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
3562 They say the hair was grafted from his butthole tuft. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
3563 Is that the melting pot of America? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
3564 I’m told they were sold out of the Don King wig. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
3565 He just flew in from Mar a lago 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
3566 I can't tell if he's a modern interpretation of freedom. Or a bad Elvis impersonator. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
3567 I told him that toupee doesn't stop him from being a bald eagle, but it does make him look like a bird brain. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
3568 He just can’t resist those Facebook ads. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
3569 I didn’t know he was that ashamed of being bald. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
3570 Harry thinks the chicks aren't his! 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
3571 We're supposed to believe it's evolution. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
3572 I have a $100 bill that says you can't keep your mouth shut, Rob Reiner! 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
3573 Looks more like bald face lies to me… 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
3574 Well, that’s one way to get off the endangered species list but, I’m not sure toupee’s are all that evolved. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
3575 I guess that eagle is kind of the big deal huh. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
3576 It’s just another Elvis sighting. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
3577 Its fake. I've seen it blow off when he flies. 1.1792 0.04795 106 92 9 5
3578 Wow that guy should model for the backs of quarters! 1.1792 0.04196 106 89 15 2
3579 Sure, he looks great. But his wife is a total harpy. 1.1792 0.04604 106 91 11 4
3580 - He’s waiting for the Nobel to come out. 1.1792 0.04196 106 89 15 2
3581 They say a bird in the bush is better than three in the tree! 1.1792 0.04405 106 90 13 3
3582 I think he'll go far. 1.1792 0.04405 106 90 13 3
3583 It’s bird nature. You hang round lakes, you get a duck tail” 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
3584 You wouldn't see Micheal Jordan bamboozled by a rug salesman." 1.1789 0.04728 95 81 11 3
3585 Ever since Pete got that haircut I just want to suck his eagle cock 1.1789 0.04959 95 82 9 4
3586 Now that he is finally King he plans to rule the roost. 1.1789 0.04227 95 79 15 1
3587 That’s definitely Elvis! 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
3588 The eaglets have been calling him ‘Elvis’ behind his back. 1.1789 0.04728 95 81 11 3
3589 He's the one who may have us renamed. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
3590 He's your cousin from Rogaineia. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
3591 Says he's going to the Elvis convention in Vegas. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
3592 Just smile and say he looks well. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
3593 Darryl does anything for a role. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
3594 He's running for Big Feather. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
3595 It's the new man-bun. 1.1786 0.04433 112 96 12 4
3596 You think he's been canceled? 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
3597 Don’t you just hate these nest webcam auditions? 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
3598 He goes by 'Elvis' 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
3599 For God’s sake. He has the crop of a Beatle!i 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
3600 Big shot. Scavenged some guy’s minoxidil ‘ 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
3601 Didn’t Elvis also play guitar? 1.1786 0.04433 112 96 12 4
3602 I heard that he’s also the president as well. 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
3603 He's channeling Elvis! 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
3604 I kept telling him it's derived from the old English word for 'white', but did he listen? 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
3605 He treats me like I’m just wallpaper. 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
3606 Why are they always tweeting behind my back... 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
3607 He's really touchy about his toupee. 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
3608 He calls himself a philosopher, but all he ever says is "Awwkk!" Big deal. 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
3609 Do you think I talk too much ? 1.1782 0.04750 101 87 10 4
3610 He’s ultra MAGA 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
3611 He's the new face of American Eagle. 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
3612 He heard the Whig Party is making a come back and they want a model for a new seal. 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
3613 He can’t understand the non-binary thing. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
3614 Should we tell him that a toupee looks unnatural on a bald eagle? 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
3615 He thinks he's a cockatiel 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
3616 Look, it’s another Trump impersonator. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
3617 The topknot does not make him King! 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
3618 He can't fly with it, so what's the point? 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
3619 We figured a beret was too French. 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
3620 Whatcha think of Freddy's new wig Randy? 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
3621 I knew he was having a mid-life crisis when he bought the Corvette 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
3622 No Way! I can tell when she's in a Bad Ass Mood.... 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
3623 Yes, we’re bald eagles, but he’s the Bald Soprano, capische! 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
3624 I liked him better as Dylan. 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
3625 He’s been reading a lot of Tony Robbins lately. 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
3626 Watch out for that one. He ain't nothin' but a hound dog. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
3627 You gotta see his Elvis act.” 1.1776 0.04367 107 90 13 3
3628 Two miles away it looked odd. From here, it's plain scary. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
3629 He’s transitioning into Ronald Reagan. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
3630 You ever seen your dick? I’m serious. Like I have no idea what mine would even look like. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
3631 Don't judge. He's dating a quail. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
3632 George Washington wore one to look like us. Who does this joker want to be? Elvis?? 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
3633 Notice something different about dad lately? 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
3634 With his money, you'd think he could afford a better piece. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
3635 Personally, I thought Burning Love was a bit insensitive given all the forest fires. 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
3636 Don't worry. It'll fall off when he flies. 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
3637 He's trying for his own panel in the Audubon guide. 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
3638 It used to be orange ... 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
3639 So off-brand! 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
3640 Kinda reminds me of a certain recent ex-president. 1.1771 0.04910 96 83 9 4
3641 That toupéé does nothing for him 1.1771 0.05129 96 84 7 5
3642 I don't care about his Vegas residency, I'm not calling him 'the king.' 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
3643 Be careful. I think the wig is up for him! 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
3644 Honey...DON'T kill the messenger. 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
3645 I'll Toss Ya 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
3646 I don’t care—I’m not calling him the King. 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
3647 I like him better fat and sweaty. 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
3648 If we have children I hope the baby doesn’t look like your mother! 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
3649 I call it a crow-over 1.1771 0.04910 96 83 9 4
3650 Birds of prey know they're cool, they don't need a pompadour feather cut. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
3651 On top of that he wants to be called Harry Eagle! 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
3652 I heard he was going for the Elvis look 1.1765 0.04275 102 86 14 2
3653 He's in his Elvis phase. 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
3654 He did one of those ancestry tests -- wants to be called 'Piebald.' 1.1765 0.04707 102 88 10 4
3655 He gives Bald Eagles a badname everywhere. 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
3656 Who's this "Elvis" bird anyway? 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
3657 I don’t think we can add humility to his dossier. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
3658 Is that a topper or a toupee? 1.1765 0.03707 119 99 19 1
3659 I’ll betcha two worms that he falls asleep and falls off the branch in 5 minutes 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
3660 He thinks he's Elvis Pigeon 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
3661 Would you believe the girls love that Birdbrain rockstar? 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
3662 He's got a new side gig as an Elvis impersonator. 1.1765 0.04275 102 86 14 2
3663 Hair for Birds did a nice job. 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
3664 That modeling gig for the dollar bill really went to his head. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
3665 And he thinks a symbolic hairpiece is going to get him crowd attention? 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
3666 I don’t see what the big deal is. All his stuff just sounds like screeching to me anyways 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
3667 I prefer bald 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
3668 Looks like us, but he ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog. 1.1765 0.04159 85 70 15 0
3669 It's an identity thing. He/She/They doesn't want to be called a 'bald eagle'. 1.1765 0.04275 102 86 14 2
3670 Even the mice down in the field can see that things not real 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
3671 Looks just like my little Jimmy. 1.1765 0.04073 119 101 15 3
3672 Man,this chemo is really hitting him hard,hope he 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
3673 Doesn’t he work at 7-Eleven? 1.1759 0.04329 108 92 13 3
3674 He knows it's obvious but he says it makes him feel like a young hatchling." 1.1759 0.04525 108 93 11 4
3675 He's had success lately catching hares. 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
3676 It's his first time molting. 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
3677 is that the Eagle president? 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
3678 I don't know how he keeps it on while he flies. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
3679 Can always tell the birds from Tennessee. The Elvis museum in Pigeon Forge gets them every time. 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
3680 You looking for trouble, you came to the right place. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
3681 It's really taken 10 years off him, don't you think? 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
3682 Sorry, but I did prefer him "bald" 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
3683 So you wanna tell him that nobody cares if he's white-headed? 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
3684 You know he’s a she, right?” David Hanley, Vancouver, B 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
3685 First DDT and now this. No wonder we're endangered! 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
3686 Oh shit oh fuck that is majestic as hell we're done it's over for us dude 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
3687 He's next in line for Prime Minister. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
3688 he dripped up 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
3689 For sure, that's a rug they're wearing!! 1.1758 0.04013 91 75 16 0
3690 I assume that he could not afford a hair transplant” Jeff Manly Toronto, O 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
3691 He says it makes him feel like a spring chicken again. 1.1758 0.04013 91 75 16 0
3692 He claims to be a ribald eagle. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
3693 He's obsessed with his looks and fame but he's going to starve to death. 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
3694 They say he'll only prey on biotin-rich animals. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
3695 I think he's an Elvis impersonator 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
3696 Our species really shouldn't dabble in Elvis impersonation. 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
3697 It's a bit 1970s don't you think? 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
3698 Learn to accept it, I told him, we're bald eagles. 1.1753 0.04148 97 81 15 1
3699 YOU tell him it's obvious. 1.1753 0.04637 97 83 11 3
3700 Don't stare! 1.1753 0.04637 97 83 11 3
3701 Wanna bet? 1.1753 0.04637 97 83 11 3
3702 He'll be bald by Wednesday. 1.1753 0.03880 97 80 17 0
3703 Lusteth not! 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
3704 He got it right after seeing his reflection in that window. 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
3705 Check it out -- it's Marv Eag-Albert. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
3706 He's trying to make a name for himself. 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
3707 He's wearing Elvis instead of that goofy aluminum foil cap. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
3708 He looks incompetent, just like Biden. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
3709 Sometimes the early bird really does get the worm. 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
3710 He just couldn't take the bald-shaming, anymore! 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
3711 …land of the free, and home of the brave… AND the vain! 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
3712 It's not the pompadour I mind so much as his constant screeching to 'Hound Dog'. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
3713 Here I was thinking he was a bald eagle. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
3714 Phil’s trying to impress a chick. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
3715 Rugged? Nah! He won't leave the building. 1.1748 0.03760 103 85 18 0
3716 I heard about this. It's part of the emperor's NEW new clothes. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
3717 I dare you to ask where the feathers were plucked from. 1.1748 0.04664 103 89 10 4
3718 I hope I never have a mid-flight crisis Frank Buckley Andover MA 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
3719 Okay, but why orange? 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
3720 This could put us back on the Endangered list! 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
3721 Ever since he was on the cover of that Autubon magazine he's been full of himself! 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
3722 He’s lost his red hat. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
3723 It's amazing how many males think they can imitate Elvis just by wearing a wig! 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
3724 Is it just me or did he came from the soaring twines? 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
3725 This is why i told you to get a KEEPS subscription. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
3726 do you think his pigeon disguise will work? 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
3727 He just hums "Pretty Woman" over and over. 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
3728 He’s torn between Johnny Cash and Roy Orbison 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
3729 God that prick really thinks he looks good in that doesn’t he 1.1744 0.05534 86 76 5 5
3730 And your beak is smaller, Ben, so it evens out 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
3731 If the trend catches on, what will we call ourselves? 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
3732 He wants everyone to think he's Canadian. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
3733 He’s the squawk of the town. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
3734 I say we Make America Bald Again. 1.1743 0.04090 109 92 15 2
3735 Well his toupee is far more lifelike than your old comb-over. 1.1743 0.04486 109 94 11 4
3736 He was tired hearing it 1.1743 0.03651 109 90 19 0
3737 Not only does he know all the Elvis numbers but he sounds just like him too 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
3738 It’s his “American Predator” look and he gets away with it. 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
3739 He can sing like Liberace! 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
3740 Don’t waste your time on him, Gladys. He flies solo. 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
3741 He thinks he's better looking with that stupid hat..... 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
3742 Whatever . . . I'm not about to stop shaving my head! 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
3743 The fool! Never learned that "bald" just means our head feathers are white! 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
3744 Hair do; Herr don't! 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
3745 His Elvis cover sounds like a squawk. 1.1739 0.05034 92 80 8 4
3746 It's him, is'nt it! Please Agenes, tell me it's not the size of his beak! 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
3747 Go with it. His old stylist moved to Florida. 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
3748 Cool, a toupee eagle. 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
3749 That rug is going to fly off like a magic carpet as soon as he hits the next downdraft. 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
3750 He thinks it makes him look 10 years younger 1.1739 0.04145 115 98 14 3
3751 He thought it would increase his wingspan. 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
3752 Evolution or gene technology? 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
3753 Does he know that from back here he looks like a buzzard? 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
3754 Some birder set up a nest cam that showed movies during the night. He watched “Elvis” 349 times. 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
3755 You tell him it looks silly!! He said he's trying to "redefine" us and wants us to call him Mr. President. 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
3756 Each day we stray further from God. 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
3757 It’s just combover. 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
3758 Nice dye job & come over. 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
3759 Yeah, but it’s a good one. 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
3760 I'd like to see that thing in a high wind! 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
3761 This turkey just won the Elvis impersonator contest. 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
3762 You should see what the chickens wear outside of Cleveland. 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
3763 What a bore...he's practicing his stump speech again 1.1735 0.04816 98 85 9 4
3764 How does he keep it on when he flies? 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
3765 He's just back from Alberta. 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
3766 Now I don't know what to call him! 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
3767 He flew over Graceland once and got hooked immediately. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
3768 Which one of us is going to remove his fake piece? 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
3769 “He flew too close to Graceland.” 1.1733 0.04400 75 62 13 0
3770 This instagram generation is lost 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
3771 He seems more self'- assured . 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
3772 Looking “Pres… er, former presidential 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
3773 When he was an eaglet, his mother was a HUGE John Stamos fan. 1.1731 0.03970 104 87 16 1
3774 Elvis has been out of style since ninteen-chirpty-eight 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
3775 I TOLD HIM IT WAS AS NATURAL AS HEIGHT, RACE, AND SEX, BUT NO-O-O-O... 1.1731 0.03970 104 87 16 1
3776 What a remolting development this is! 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
3777 ‘Toupeed Eagle’ just doesn’t carry the same cachet as ‘bald eagle.’ 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
3778 Yea and he keeps saying' Down goes Frazier. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
3779 And you thought his comb over was bad. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
3780 He must have a date with a young chick! 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
3781 He/Him/Elvis 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
3782 We should tell him it was hair gel that caused balding. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
3783 Ever since he got that new headdress he thinks he's a real song bird! 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
3784 Pretty soon he'll start warbling "I'm all shook up". 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
3785 He says his reincarnation is off key. 1.1727 0.04256 110 94 13 3
3786 Hey, don't you know, hairpieces are the new status symbol. 1.1727 0.04256 110 94 13 3
3787 He's trying to pick up chicks. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
3788 The infrastructure bill just goes for quick fixes. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
3789 He's never been the same since he saw "Saturday Night Fever". 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
3790 Yeah,I hear “bald” just lets too much light in… 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
3791 The sad part is he doesn’t think anyone will notice. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
3792 He's the news anchor on KBRD. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
3793 Someone's been hanging around the humans too much. 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
3794 It was passed on from his father’s side of the family. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
3795 It's best to preen it and forget it Camille. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
3796 Fiona just likes to tease Charles Darwin. 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
3797 He’s been insufferable even since he was on that David Attenborough special. 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
3798 He started propecia early. 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
3799 It takes more than a haircut to sing. 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
3800 He wears that to sing "Shake Rattle and Roll; Flip Flop and Fly" and I'm thinking of "Suspicious Minds". Can we go on together? 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
3801 The combover is not a good look for us. 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
3802 At least he chose a toupee that matches the foliage 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
3803 Ron DeSantisw want his wig back 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
3804 He just became a Florida resident 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
3805 He thinks people won’t notice he’s bald 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
3806 I hear he's been using Rogaine. 1.1717 0.04317 99 84 13 2
3807 He chose to give up his National Bird status for Vanity. Tsk. 1.1717 0.04771 99 86 9 4
3808 He saw an Elvis documentary. 1.1717 0.04317 99 84 13 2
3809 Who says we’re bald 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
3810 I heard he shaves it off every night... 1.1717 0.04317 99 84 13 2
3811 Look who’s trying to be a chick magnet. 1.1717 0.04317 99 84 13 2
3812 He's one of those bald-faced. 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
3813 Doug has a complex about being called a 'bald eagle'. 1.1717 0.04317 99 84 13 2
3814 didn't he die on the toilet 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
3815 That’s Elvis, and he can sing! 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
3816 Retired Presidential Seal Eagles: He’s not only ex-president, he’s also a MAGA member. 1.1714 0.04162 105 89 14 2
3817 He's a bald eagle. Of course it's a toupee! 1.1714 0.03936 105 88 16 1
3818 He is so self conscious about being called a BALD eagle, for a minute there I thought he was wearing a toupee. 1.1714 0.04376 105 90 12 3
3819 He thinks he's hot stuff since getting you pregnant! 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
3820 He's the model for the new American dollar bill, the toupeed eagle. 1.1714 0.04581 105 91 10 4
3821 A you wanted him to go into politics. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
3822 He was on eagle-Bay and saw an ad for a 'cheep toupee.' 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
3823 He's always admired Stevie Van Zandt. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
3824 He has blue suede shoes on his Christmas list. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
3825 He is obviously old school 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
3826 look at Mr. Hairier than thou! 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
3827 GAWD! He's channeling Elvis again! 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
3828 He calls it Camoufeagle. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
3829 It's the only bit of misplaced ink around. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
3830 It's un-American. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
3831 You're the one who wanted to name him "Elvis." 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3832 He goes to a hair stylist since he was designated 'endangered!' 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
3833 It's apparently a real confidence builder! 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
3834 I’d give a worm if can guess the gender specific. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3835 Do you think his hair is part of his success? 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
3836 He was a big fan of Sean Connery. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3837 Look on the bright side. At least it's not ORANGE. 1.1707 0.05434 82 72 6 4
3838 Definitely a combover. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
3839 ....I guess he will now have to fly with the turkeys 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
3840 Of course I know it's a toupee'. I saw it from a mile away. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3841 He thinks it makes him look younger. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3842 He fell off the ledge, all he does is sing "Hound dDg 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
3843 I thought that "bald was beautiful!" 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
3844 That poor sod believes no one will notice?! 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3845 Donald Trump he isn't 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3846 The attract a mate, the males of the species will assemble a crude tupé made out of straw and dirt. 1.1705 0.05167 88 77 7 4
3847 He thinks he is Liberace. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3848 Liberace, schmeberace 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
3849 He flew through Turkey… 1.1705 0.04908 88 76 9 3
3850 I don't think it is just a comb-over. 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
3851 It really reminds you of when you were young ... really? 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3852 Joke’s on him. He’s now in every political ad as the symbol of government excess. 1.1705 0.04908 88 76 9 3
3853 You be the judge. (Your offer fits the picture) 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
3854 I still think Christmas Wishbone is creepy. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3855 I’ve heard he’s dying his feathers orange next. 1.1705 0.04031 88 73 15 0
3856 Where's he going to get it cleaned? 1.1705 0.04908 88 76 9 3
3857 He doesn’t use his real name, either. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3858 I think she’d look good in a beret. 1.1705 0.04031 88 73 15 0
3859 Next thing you know, he’ll want a hat to keep it dry. 1.1705 0.04031 88 73 15 0
3860 The King has flew the nest. 1.1705 0.04031 88 73 15 0
3861 See, I told you he wasn’t dead. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3862 The hair plugs make him look like Elvis! 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
3863 From bald eagle to rock-a-doodle hair do… 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
3864 The pallid orange color on the combover clashes with everything. 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
3865 Does she really think no one can tell? 1.1702 0.04933 94 82 8 4
3866 Elvis Birdly? Never thought I'd see him in person! 1.1702 0.04933 94 82 8 4
3867 He keeps tweeting 'Birds of a feather flock together', but don't be fooled--we are more than just feathers! 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
3868 You should hear his rendition of Mystery Train. 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
3869 I hear he's been looking into Scientology. 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
3870 Must have flown too close to that Maple St. roof being tarred. 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
3871 He just saw the new Elvis movie. 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
3872 He wants to know the weather ahead as we go south. 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
3873 You should hear his Elvis impression 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
3874 He’s making his hair great again 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
3875 He got the makeover because he wants to run for president. 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
3876 Still think Elvis is dead? 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
3877 He’s an Elvis impersonator 1.1700 0.04507 100 86 11 3
3878 He's always wanted to impersonate Elvis. 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
3879 Worst Elvis rug I've ever seen! 1.1700 0.04277 100 85 13 2
3880 He thinks it makes him look like a spring chicken. 1.1700 0.04507 100 86 11 3
3881 Snowbird. 1.1700 0.04277 100 85 13 2
3882 Just wait until you hear him sing 'On the Wings of a Dove' . 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
3883 Don't bother. He will just tell us to ask Mom 1.1700 0.04277 100 85 13 2
3884 Who's that hanging out on Milo's perch? 1.1700 0.04507 100 86 11 3
3885 It looks so good on nature documentaries, I’ve been thinking of getting one, too. 1.1698 0.03664 106 88 18 0
3886 Stupid MF just made it so it's legal to shoot his ass 1.1698 0.04126 106 90 14 2
3887 It's that time of year again. 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
3888 His wife left him last week. 1.1698 0.04338 106 91 12 3
3889 He's had an obsession with Elvis ever since he was hatched. Steve Weiss, Chicago. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
3890 He keeps insisting he’s a very stable genius. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
3891 He thinks it makes the country look younger. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
3892 I heard that headpiece cost him over twenty half-rotten fish! 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
3893 Haven’t seen a comb over like that since the last President. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
3894 Do you think George knows it looks like a toupee? 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
3895 He's fine now, but wait till he swoops in on a field mouse. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
3896 Why am I still so uncomfortable with species fluidity? 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
3897 He swears it was Made in America 1.1688 0.05669 77 68 5 4
3898 I don't know, but I can feel it in my cloaca. 1.1688 0.05669 77 68 5 4
3899 I told Grandpa we wanted "Heron" for dinner. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
3900 Thats a little out there 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3901 He was always self-conscious. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
3902 Frankly, he looks more like a doodle than a dandy. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
3903 He looks like foie gras dressed as chicken. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3904 Elvis Eagle is in the house. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3905 I’ll give you a pizza crust to knock it off with your wings 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
3906 SHALL WE APPROACH THE RARE ELVIS BIRD? 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
3907 Me when I talk to a bird about another bird that looks like Elvis Presley: 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
3908 Somebody oughta call Larry David about this guy. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
3909 He plays piano. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
3910 Why does Tim always look so good? 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
3911 I’m afraid to go near him. 1.1687 0.05372 83 73 6 4
3912 He’s been hanging around Graceland. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
3913 Bald Eagle,” it is in the name! Who does he think he is fooling 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
3914 Let him preen while he can, he's young 1.1685 0.03991 89 74 15 0
3915 He's campaigning to get us rebranded as "King" eagles. 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
3916 We're mocking birds. He's mocking Elvis. 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
3917 Yeah, don't worry. It's my fault. I suggested that he lose the comb-over. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
3918 Bloody Trump supporters - the Bald-Headed Eagle's not even good enough these days! 1.1685 0.05357 89 79 5 5
3919 Dave's rogaine treatment is really paying off 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
3920 ever seen him perform? he’s got this thing, where he sort of thrusts and gyrates his cloaca? i gotta admit, i love how it makes me feel in my cloaca 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
3921 So now we've got an Elvis impersonator. 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
3922 I can't resist. Give me a bad boy any day! 1.1685 0.03991 89 74 15 0
3923 Okay Mom he isn't much today but he has potential. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
3924 Should someone tell him that his toupee is for toucans? 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
3925 I think it makes him look cuckoo. 1.1685 0.05113 89 78 7 4
3926 His migratory route is over Vegas and he has adapted. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
3927 So much for the National Emblem! 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
3928 How do we top that? 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
3929 Sure, I get the insecurities that come with being labeled as bald, but Ned just looks plain ridiculous with a toupee not made from feathers. 1.1684 0.04650 95 82 10 3
3930 -"Crawbird" was a real hit, but "Hound Owl" don't do much for me 1.1684 0.03860 95 79 16 0
3931 Talk about denial! 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
3932 Eagle, Smeagle, I liked him better when he was bald. 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
3933 I can live with the hair piece, it’s the sports car I really wish he’d get rid of. 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
3934 Have you heard his version of 'Hound Dog?' 1.1684 0.04650 95 82 10 3
3935 I did not know Elvis wore a rug. 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
3936 Hunter - - - we have another buyer. Chinese of course. Would $500.000 be acceptable? 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
3937 He's never been the same since he lost Adaline. He still looks for her every day. 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
3938 He just went through a breakup. 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
3939 He’s always parroting the latest trend. 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
3940 I've seen bad toupees before, but seriously..... 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
3941 He hates people calling him a bald eagle. 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
3942 It's the new look for fall. 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
3943 He's flying for president. 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
3944 He is trying to disguise the fact that he is only 'partially bald' 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
3945 What do you call a bad eagle with a bad toupee? Cuckoo! 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3946 It may be tacky, but there's no law against species appropriation. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
3947 What do you think? Rogaine or implants? 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
3948 No one will ever notice. 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
3949 It gets worse. Wait’ll he starts singing. 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
3950 Carl loves Baz Lurhmann films. 1.1667 0.03961 102 86 15 1
3951 It looks like and elk toupee, right? 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
3952 He never could get used to being bald. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
3953 I'm pretty sure it's fake. I wonder where I could get one. 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
3954 Hairy eagle just doesn't sound right! 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
3955 He prefers being a threatened species. 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
3956 It's from Wigs Are Us! 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
3957 His one regret - they don't make blue suede shoes in eagle size! 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
3958 He should face reality - a bald eagle is BALD! 1.1667 0.04424 102 88 11 3
3959 Ugh ... He thinks he's Elvis 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
3960 We thought he'd left the building...? 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
3961 Marketing is pushing an update. 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
3962 I don't know. I kinda respect him for fighting the stereotype. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
3963 It would be different if he had it before. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
3964 I know it's fake, but when he shakes his talons, I get all broody. 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
3965 He thinks it will keep him from becoming extinct. 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
3966 Why's he wearing a rodent on his head? 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
3967 ‘I’m telling you it’s a toupee, that’s a bald eagle’ 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
3968 He thinks that if "looks the part" he, too, can become President of the United States. That's his Trumpeagle look! 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
3969 He thinks he sings like Elvis, too. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
3970 He is staying in character for his role in "Grease". 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
3971 It doesn’t take a hawk to spot that rug 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
3972 I bet it's a perm. 1.1667 0.03835 108 91 16 1
3973 You think he'll fly the toupe? 1.1667 0.03708 102 85 17 0
3974 I think that hairdo is for the birds. 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
3975 He thinks he's a bald eagle. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3976 The comb over just did not work. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
3977 Has she heard of fly away hair? 1.1667 0.03950 90 75 15 0
3978 No, this is where eagles cruise. 1.1667 0.05311 84 74 6 4
3979 What a piece 1.1667 0.04263 108 93 12 3
3980 He said that the chicks no longer go for bald eagles. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
3981 Ever since he was cuckolded, it's been one mid-life crisis after another with him. 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
3982 Just back from Vegas. 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
3983 He hates our name, but does his Oscar Wilde look have to include the foliage? 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
3984 He thinks he has a new leaf on life. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
3985 He’s not only a client he’s also the president! 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
3986 I know. He needs a haircut. But it's the style now. 1.1650 0.03926 103 87 15 1
3987 That do is for the birds.” 1.1650 0.03676 103 86 17 0
3988 I think he's wigged out with this 'Bird of Paradise' thing. 1.1649 0.04560 97 84 10 3
3989 The comb over and dye job just isn’t cutting it. 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
3990 What do you think about his toupee? 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
3991 I tried to tell him chicks don't dig it. 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
3992 Who does he think he is Elvis Osprey? 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
3993 Squalk! 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
3994 Looks like Thomas didn’t get the memo. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
3995 So I say, 'he who has secrets also has vulnerabilities.' 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
3996 I don't care what he says, I'm not calling him Elvis. 1.1648 0.03911 91 76 15 0
3997 Ever since he saw "Elvis!" 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
3998 I don't know if I should call it a hairpiece. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
3999 Yes, it's a toupee. Evidently, he doesn't know that 'bald' is from the Old English word, 'balde, meaning 'white,' as in white feathers. 1.1648 0.05006 91 80 7 4
4000 What's not obvious is that they're non-binary and non-available. 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
4001 They’ll never believe we saw Elvis! 1.1648 0.05006 91 80 7 4
4002 He really enjoyed that Elvis movie 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
4003 Elvis the Pelvis knows how to shake, rattle, and roll you in the bushes! 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
4004 No comment 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
4005 They say he’s the 3rd best Elvis impersonator in Washington state. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
4006 Elvis has not left the building, but he may fly the coop. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
4007 The chicks aren't buying his crow-over." 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
4008 It' a toupé. It covers up bald spots caused by stress-induced hair loss. 1.1647 0.04978 85 74 8 3
4009 He thinks he's Donald Trump.. 1.1647 0.05252 85 75 6 4
4010 But we’re bald eagles! The rug’s a sacrilege! 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
4011 Even his pullet has a mullet. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
4012 Some eagles don't take being called bald very well. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
4013 Dapper duck my ass 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
4014 He’s an endangered species of Elvis impersonators, if you ask me. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
4015 He's next to play Elvis 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
4016 Oh, I think it’s just a phase. Though I’ve heard it’s trendy lately for teenagers to rebel against their own species. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
4017 I told him very clearly "Don't bet on the Giants". 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
4018 Presidential hopes? Might as well start denying the results right now. 1.1646 0.05231 79 69 7 3
4019 First the guy dates the hot young chick, now the rug. Get over it Leonard I says,you’re a bald eagle in mid life crisis. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
4020 Just what we need, another Elvis impersonator! 1.1646 0.05231 79 69 7 3
4021 He can channel Bryce Harper all he wants. The Phillies ain't making the playoffs. Eagles are the only game in town. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
4022 Show some respect. Let him have this. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
4023 He's not fooling anyone, we all know he's molting. 1.1644 0.05522 73 64 6 3
4024 Do you think it's a toupee? 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
4025 Does it fly off if he flies off? 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
4026 Since the NRA Trumpists have never shot at him, he thought he'd give it a try. 1.1638 0.04405 116 102 9 5
4027 He refuses to be called bald. 1.1635 0.04124 104 89 13 2
4028 No one is ever going to buy that he is a Crowned Eagle. 1.1635 0.03644 104 87 17 0
4029 He opens at the Hotel California. 1.1633 0.04516 98 85 10 3
4030 Stop staring, it's a wig! 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
4031 He thinks we can't tell 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
4032 I told you socialism was worse than it seemed. 1.1633 0.04516 98 85 10 3
4033 Bald eagle privileges revoked 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
4034 I guess he hasn’t read the employee handbook! 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
4035 He has relatives in Timbuktu. 1.1633 0.04516 98 85 10 3
4036 The damn hairdo makes him think he sings like Elvis. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
4037 I wonder how he combs his hair? 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
4038 whats even weirder is there are 3 endangered species on the same tree! 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
4039 I never much cared for fat Elvis. 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
4040 He’s such a renegade. 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
4041 I just alone for the ride 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
4042 Handsome yes, but a real Dodo” 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
4043 He's lost a lot of modeling contracts. 1.1630 0.03872 92 77 15 0
4044 I know we mate for life but I still think it would be nice to be married by that Elvis impersonator. 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
4045 Claims he's part hawk on his mother's side. 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
4046 I'm gonna tell my kids this was Hawkguy! 1.1630 0.03872 92 77 15 0
4047 Let's just hope he doesn't insist on the white jumpsuit, too. 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
4048 That ‘bald eagle’ went to Hair Club for Men!! Why didn’t we think of that? 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
4049 It looks like Martin is an alopecia denier. 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
4050 Now, he's just another Elvis impersonator. 1.1630 0.03872 92 77 15 0
4051 That jerk just told me about his fantasy of being with twins 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
4052 Beats me. He said something about making America great again. 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
4053 I think it’s a combover. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4054 That's disrespectful to our troops. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
4055 They say this is the new cat fishing. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
4056 He sings like Elvis, too! 1.1628 0.04004 86 72 14 0
4057 He keeps saying, 'How do you like me now, Jack?' 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4058 He looks like a wet poodle. Who's he kidding? 1.1628 0.05194 86 76 6 4
4059 Apparently he's taking a stand against nominative determinism. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4060 The worst part is when he brags about how he caught it himself. 1.1628 0.04924 86 75 8 3
4061 He never did like the name Bald 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4062 Next, he's planning of buying candelabras and a baby grand 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4063 Yep, scarecrow. 1.1628 0.04004 86 72 14 0
4064 So much for tomorrow's Bald is Beautiful rally at Yellowstone. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
4065 He thinks it will help him get a mate... 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
4066 tell him he is not a bald eagle! 1.1628 0.04004 86 72 14 0
4067 He's showing off ! Looking for his own category in the guidebooks. 1.1628 0.04924 86 75 8 3
4068 Personally, I’ve made my peace with my given name. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
4069 Let's at least try to be inclusive and keep this a safe space. 1.1628 0.04004 86 72 14 0
4070 I actually respect how he hasn't tried to fight it and simply owns it. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4071 Hair brained, not feather brained 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4072 Um… are we the ones who should be worried? Because that is NOT natural. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4073 Of course you think he looks good Martha, you're a self-hating Bald Eagle. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4074 I bet he dies his head. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4075 Does he really think we don't know he's wearing a toupee? 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4076 This is the 'post hearings' do-he used to part on the right. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4077 I guess the Elvis convention's back in town. 1.1625 0.05169 80 70 7 3
4078 But we are supposed to be Bald Eagles! 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4079 I must admit, I like that look better than the wildly inappropriate mohawk. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4080 When I asked, she winked and said, "Only my hairdresser know for sure!". 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4081 He looks like Elvis Presley, don' you think? 1.1625 0.05467 80 71 5 4
4082 Squawk and roll--ha! 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4083 Ok, but if they start singing 'Hound Dog' before sporting events I am moving to Canada. 1.1624 0.04018 117 101 13 3
4084 That really stylish sideburn reminds me of what's-his-name... 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4085 I told him blond was better for politics. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4086 Can you say combover? 1.1622 0.03953 111 95 14 2
4087 A loaf of bread, a jug of wine...and a toupee. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4088 He has his eye on Graceland. 1.1619 0.03857 105 89 15 1
4089 Don’t bother her. She’s a threat to our democracy. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
4090 I told you toupées were the way to go. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
4091 Last week he was mistaken for a bald eagle... 1.1616 0.03718 99 83 16 0
4092 But he IS bald and I wish he'd leave the building. 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
4093 I think he looks like Elvis! 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
4094 Last week he was sporting and Oriental! 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
4095 - He thinks he is better than us. - Just give it some time, will be bald soon. 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
4096 He doesn't know he is suppose to be bald. 1.1613 0.04660 93 81 9 3
4097 Remember when we were young? 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
4098 I hear she's also had some work done. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
4099 The toupee is bad enough, but if I hear him sing "Heartbreak Hotel" one more time I'm gonna lose it. 1.1613 0.04660 93 81 9 3
4100 He said, "I'm tired of being a bald eagle!" 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
4101 "No matter how much he tries to blend in, he will always be seen as a bald eagle." 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
4102 He's not just the president. He's also a member. 1.1613 0.03835 93 78 15 0
4103 He wants to be an Elvis impersonator. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
4104 Thankfully it only comes on for the dawn chorus. 1.1613 0.04660 93 81 9 3
4105 If bald eagle why hair 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
4106 You will be her next meal. 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
4107 Can't get over the cameo he scored on the Kardashian reboot. Keeps muttering "America the free." 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
4108 I don't care what anybody says. Elvis lives! 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4109 Did he change his name too? 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
4110 He said ‘baldness skips a generation’ but I just don’t buy it. 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
4111 Bald, hairy... I think it's for the birds. 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
4112 He prefers to go by the common name,"American" Eagle. 1.1609 0.05634 87 79 2 6
4113 That toupee is a bald-faced lie 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
4114 They say it's a type of tracking beacon. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4115 I told you about his identity crisis... 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
4116 Don't be silly. I can't be Elvis. He doesn't have a guitar. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4117 He is the King! 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
4118 With that hairdo he’s all shook up 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
4119 He thinks we’re fooled by that Elvis wig. 1.1609 0.03962 87 73 14 0
4120 He could be meditating, revolting, or just good ol fashioned molting. 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
4121 I wonder which products he used! 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4122 The most outdated midlife crisis I've ever seen. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4123 That’s the flying Elvis 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4124 Just remember, you were the one with the duck tail. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4125 These Elvis Impersonators get worse every year, I tell ya 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4126 Real or toupee? 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4127 He's not only the Hair Club for Men President, he's a client 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4128 Should we tell him Elvis is dead? 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4129 He's a Trumper. 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4130 Is that the fierce beauty and proud independence JFK talked about? 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4131 He had a minor role in " One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest". 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4132 It's one of those tricks where he looks the same upside down. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4133 Somehow it fools his prey. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4134 I hear he’s promoting the new Elvis movie. 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
4135 Well, at least it's better than the comb-over he sported last week. 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
4136 Supposedly the chicks really dig it 1.1604 0.03824 106 90 15 1
4137 You can have him. He’s to bald for me. 1.1604 0.04474 106 93 9 4
4138 Yeah, he just really hasn't been the same since he crashed head first into that movie billboard. 1.1604 0.04268 106 92 11 3
4139 For them, it's all about recovery. Did they ever consider that we had inner lives? 1.1604 0.04052 106 91 13 2
4140 He thinks wearing a piece makes him look younger. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4141 What an OGRE!!! 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
4142 The toupee is nice, but he really needs to do something about that beak. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
4143 He really is all that. 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
4144 Goddamn instagram. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4145 So, what do ya think--a toupe? 1.1600 0.04197 100 88 9 3
4146 Cheap toupée. 1.1600 0.04654 100 88 8 4
4147 He’s been Tweeting about it all morning. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
4148 Who is he fooling? If you want to know someone's real age just look at their claws... 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
4149 Older males have to be adaptive in order to mate. 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
4150 His name is Ray Romano and the premise is that his elderly parents move in across the street. 1.1596 0.04855 94 83 7 4
4151 He's on the Wayne Newton look alike kick this week. 1.1596 0.03797 94 79 15 0
4152 I'm not buying that "different species' crap he's peddling. 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
4153 That toupee is a real dark feather in his cap 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
4154 Are you going to tell him sometimes a name is just a name, or am I? 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
4155 It's the latest political fashion statement...A Whig on a twig 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
4156 Another example of how contact with human males is devolutionary 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
4157 Blame 90's TV for Phoenix Costanza, there! 1.1593 0.03888 113 97 14 2
4158 What can I say? I kind of like it. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
4159 Some eagles just aren't born to be bald. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4160 That’s so juvenile! 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4161 Now that he's no longer a bald eagle he's been seen dating a lot of young chicks. 1.1591 0.04818 88 77 8 3
4162 The Sopranos has a lot to answer for. 1.1591 0.04818 88 77 8 3
4163 The Elvis estate is already suing. Oh, and did I mention I once snatched a pet aardvark? Dropped it from 300 feet. Splat. Then Aardvark tartare! No lead. No DDT. And nobody in my life to share it with. I really messed it up with Barbara. Burrrrrrp! 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
4164 One flight to Las Vegas and he thinks he’s Elvis Presley. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
4165 Should we report ‘em to professional standards? 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4166 Being a back brancher is for the birds! 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4167 I heard the Bald Eagle thing was just chipping away at his self esteem. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4168 He wants to be called a periwig-pated eagle? That doesn't fall trippingly on the tongue. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
4169 Bet I know who he voted for. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4170 His nose-job was fine, but that toupee is over the top! 1.1591 0.04818 88 77 8 3
4171 Our baldness used to be our distinguishing feature. Now it’s the boogie-woogieness. 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
4172 Elvis said this is what he really looks like 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4173 No alopecia in his family.! 1.1585 0.05340 82 73 5 4
4174 He got tired of being a bald eagle. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4175 You never get me nothin' nice. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4176 I think the hair makes him look honest. 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
4177 He's recovering from a headache from too much DDT. 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
4178 He has not been the same since we went to that Elvis impersonators event! 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4179 We're going to build the most beautiful nests you've ever seen. They're going to say, 'you know what, I've never seen something so, so very beautiful.' 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4180 He's expecting that cutie from there trees over to come by." 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4181 He's really satisfied with his rug. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4182 His wife told me that , "he's not just the President, he's a customer, too!" 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4183 Mister Minoxidil says he loves his Dad but doesn't wanna look like him." 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
4184 Why cant he just age gracefully 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
4185 You’re right, I think Gary did get a beakjob. 1.1585 0.05340 82 73 5 4
4186 The combover — I’m past my prime and desperate. 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
4187 “I heard that Phil has been dating a cockatoo.” 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
4188 You see, he won "Best Celebrity Impersonation by an Eagle" for his Elvis but lost when he did Yul Brynner" 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
4189 He identifies as non-bald 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
4190 He's just a hunk, a hunk of burning dove. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4191 I keep telling him, there's no future in Elvis impersonation. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
4192 He thinks Liberace is making a comeback and wants to get ahead of it. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4193 He’s not fooling anyone with that toupe. 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
4194 He runs the Hair Club for Birds 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
4195 Hey,when the show is over,that chick in the front row is mine ! 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
4196 Good luck. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
4197 His father ended up buying a mustang 'cause his kept flying off. Now with the two-sided tape, this will hold at maximum speed. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
4198 Poor guy. He really does think he's bald. 1.1574 0.03521 108 91 17 0
4199 He gave up on that miracle restoration treatment weeks ago. 1.1574 0.03758 108 92 15 1
4200 If he starts thrusting his pelvis, we are outta here. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4201 I think he’s compensating for his tiny cloaca. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4202 He buys them used from Elton John. 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
4203 I think we're about to get kicked out. 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
4204 That’s the thing about bitcoin, though. It’s still so early! 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
4205 Do you think it’s natural? 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4206 In a fraction of time I realised. Every feather in my body knew. I trusted the invader. I left my truth behind I killed myself hoping I could fit in their clan. I don’t belong anywhere My friends don’t recognize me 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
4207 He's going for the "Most Horrific" halloween costume contest. 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
4208 Yeah, but can he pronounce "sesquipedalian"? 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4209 When he said he was wigged out, I didn’t think he meant literally! 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
4210 He just flew in from another branch 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
4211 He says he’s getting a toupee 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
4212 He says that he’s going to get back on that idiots desk and finish the job. 1.1573 0.05028 89 79 6 4
4213 Maybe it skips 40,000 generations. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
4214 I asked him why Dr. Franklin chose the wild turkey over us. He said he would think about it. 1.1573 0.05028 89 79 6 4
4215 Why didn't he warn us how much that nose swab would tickle? 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4216 These younger birds got no respect for our heritage. 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
4217 He is the monarch of all he surveys. 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
4218 He recently started dating a yellow-crested cockatoo half his age. 1.1569 0.04350 102 89 10 3
4219 Who does he think he’s fooling? 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4220 The real question is, where was the hair grafted FROM? 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4221 It's a toupeagle. 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
4222 I feel that the comb-over lends a certain gravity to one's personality. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4223 We all worry about ingesting the poisons in roadkill, and meanwhile Murray stumbles upon the rats from the Rogaine lab." 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
4224 Should you tell him his Elvis imitation is ludicrous, or should I? 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4225 there's more to hunk a hunk a burnin love than looking like Elvis 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4226 I suppose a bald eagle can be self-conscious too. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4227 Pompadours are in again? 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4228 So, you never heard of Elvis? 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
4229 Dude, that’s totally a wig… right? 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4230 His truth is marching on. 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
4231 Imma fuck that bird. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4232 He's moonlighting as a lounge singer" 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4233 I heard he’s auditioning for the Baretta reboot. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4234 He thinks he's soooo big and aloof, too. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4235 Now just an eagle. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4236 He's incognito after biting Trump, but he also got the idea FROM Trump. 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
4237 I thought Elvis had left the treehouse 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4238 Dude better get some color in his plumage with hair like that. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4239 He's a Toupan. 1.1562 0.04759 96 85 7 4
4240 Ever since he bought that stupid toupee, when he flies off he squacks, "Elvis has left the building!" 1.1562 0.04759 96 85 7 4
4241 Elvis reincarnated. 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
4242 "Majestic was never enough for him. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
4243 He's such a parrot. 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
4244 He’s Bosley’s wingman 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
4245 Oh, just ignore him. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
4246 That's a really creative Elvis avatar. 1.1562 0.04759 96 85 7 4
4247 I don't understand these self-hating bald eagles...... 1.1560 0.03491 109 92 17 0
4248 Pat is betting on the Elvis/"Cabaret" duo doo to increase mating odds. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4249 He says it's performance art - 'Elvis as a Bald Eagle'. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
4250 He says the canaries like it. 1.1558 0.05250 77 68 6 3
4251 Bald eagle? Not anymore. 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4252 You see what Trump has done to this country. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
4253 Who is he fooling with that toupee? 1.1558 0.05566 77 69 4 4
4254 He has no friends to tell him the truth. 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4255 He's a "Baltimore Orbison." 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
4256 What a peacock. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4257 He looks twenty-five years younger, has more energy, and a full head of hair ever since he became a vegan. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4258 Should we ask her where she got her hair done? 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
4259 He’s been full of himself since he saw the ELVIS movie at a Drive In Theatre. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
4260 He has his sights on that spring chicken. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
4261 If you don't mention his ridiculous combover, you'll get a stupid hat. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
4262 But his surname is still Baldwin. 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
4263 They say the fledglings find him irresistible. 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
4264 Hank definitely changed the status quo 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4265 How ironic is that, he’s not even a songbird. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4266 It's formal night. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
4267 The worst part is now he wants us to call him a Baller Eagle. 1.1548 0.03970 84 71 13 0
4268 He denies that he ever was bald. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
4269 It's the trendy new look that he picked up during our northern migration. 1.1548 0.03970 84 71 13 0
4270 I guess Elvis really did leave the building. 1.1548 0.04936 84 74 7 3
4271 Heard he's getting dentures next week. 1.1548 0.03970 84 71 13 0
4272 His new addition is a bit antiquated! 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4273 He takes it off at night. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4274 Did he just steal my hair? 1.1548 0.03970 84 71 13 0
4275 Fred’s toupe screams desperation. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4276 Evis is getting way more gigs since his new hairdo; and I heard he is backup for the Eagles now. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
4277 Looks like Marvin is suffering from an identity crisis. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
4278 Think he knows we're the endangered ones? 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
4279 You've heard of male-pattern baldness? That's eagle-pattern hirsuteness." 1.1546 0.03690 97 82 15 0
4280 Well he's looking extra feathery today 1.1546 0.03690 97 82 15 0
4281 The name got to him. 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
4282 It's better to let it go natural in the wild. 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
4283 He's an Elvis eagle now. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4284 He never let labels define him. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
4285 Personally, I don't really understand his fascination with Liberace. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4286 What is the maximum that we can put in a Roth IRA this year? 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4287 I fell for it, until I realized it wasn't his. 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
4288 His vanity is a turnoff, but his self-awareness is definitely a turn-on. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4289 He's hanging with crows again. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
4290 That has got to be a toupee… right? 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
4291 I think our dad is going through an old man’s crisis. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4292 He said his name is Elvis! And he dyes it shoe polish black just like his Momma 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4293 He's repositioning his brand away from American icon. 1.1538 0.03803 91 77 14 0
4294 The girls will see that phony toupee a mile away. He's just as bald as the rest of us. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4295 At least he forgot his blue suede shoes today 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
4296 don’t know about you, Katherine … but these reengineered mating displays just aren’t doing it for me 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4297 Trying to prove he was humanely raised" 1.1538 0.04271 104 91 10 3
4298 Since he ate that guy with a piece, he wants to be called Liberace. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
4299 The Eagle has...pooped? 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
4300 I’ve seen it all now! 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4301 You wanna meet Archibald Eagle? 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
4302 Leave her be. We're not falc singers. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
4303 I built my nest with bluegrass, but he prefers something a little rockier. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
4304 He’s self conscious about what kind of eagle he is. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4305 When you taught her to hunt mink, I never imagined it would lead to this. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4306 As we're in this black and white wallpaper scene today, and he can't show off his colours, he's posing debonair. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4307 Couldn't he find a less obvious one? 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4308 He's trying to impress the little Gloster canary. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4309 It's time for you to give him the curse of dandruff talk. 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
4310 He's baned in Philli! 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
4311 Poor fella, just can't grow old gracefully. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4312 Actually I'm okay with those trendy wigs, just that I have a phobia for strong winds 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
4313 Why did my boy go on the stage? I told him not to go! 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
4314 I know a better way to pick up chicks. 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
4315 Says he's sick of being called a bald eagle and he's doing something about it. 1.1531 0.03656 98 83 15 0
4316 ''Told you Elvis hadn't left the building!'' 1.1529 0.04881 85 75 7 3
4317 No, I don't know. We all look the same to me. 1.1529 0.03927 85 72 13 0
4318 Well I think it just really shows a guy's underlying insecurities... You know, his bald ego! 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4319 He's been looking at too much coverage of the ex-pres. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4320 As the national bird,he wants his manhood to be ON his head - not in his head. 1.1529 0.04881 85 75 7 3
4321 Jeff seems to have taken the name bald eagle a bit literally I see 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4322 So proud. He got Wordle in two rows by starting with 'beret.' 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
4323 He wants to see if any of his friends recognize him with his new hairstyle. So far,everyone keeps flying by! 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
4324 It makes no sense, it scares the ladies! 1.1529 0.04881 85 75 7 3
4325 I think he's just trying to fit in...he's okay. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
4326 Arnold says his name means 'Eagle' not 'Bald Eagle' 1.1529 0.04881 85 75 7 3
4327 He looks like Elvis played by Austin Butler in the hit film "Elvis." Do you think he asked his barber make him to look like Elvis played by Austin Butler in the hit film "Elvis"? Baz Luhrmann directed the film. Have you seen it? No me neither. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
4328 The next step is drug addiction. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
4329 He's bald allright, but his thinking is just plain crazy! 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4330 The wig is a big hit with the females. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4331 Damn drought, no fruit, how are we suppose to know if it is a pear tree' 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4332 Cock of the walk? I don't think so. His feathers don't match. His beak is too small, and his comb is all wrong. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
4333 The only fishing he does is for compliments. 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
4334 ‘ She takes names very seriously’… 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
4335 He looks silly in a combover. 1.1522 0.03765 92 78 14 0
4336 Totally, but they know he doesn’t speak for ALL the eagles, right?! 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
4337 I think he should worry more about his Dad bod. 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
4338 Look is close but pelvis thrust needs work. 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
4339 I'll never tell him, but he looks dazzling. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
4340 Some BALD Eagle HE is! 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
4341 It was either that or move to Canada. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4342 He takes after his mother's side of the family. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4343 It's his new look for online dating. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4344 You wanted more diversity? This is what we get! 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
4345 America really has gone to the trump. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
4346 I wish Larry would embrace and go the full shave like the rest of us. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4347 I guess he was tired of being labelled a “bald” eagle. 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
4348 That dude things thinks he's hot @#$! just because he's sporting a Trump haircut. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
4349 I’ll introduce you if you want? His name is Liberace. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
4350 He looks younger, but toupee eagle just doesn’t have the same ring to it. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4351 Charlie wants to be an Elvis impersonator 1.1518 0.04247 112 99 9 4
4352 Do you think it’s a rug? 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
4353 'G.I. Crane 2,’ can’t wait to see it. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
4354 Being a national emblem never really did anything for him. 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
4355 It's not a question of looks but of talon. 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
4356 We’re all losing our chlorophyll It’s so boringness awe full ✅ 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
4357 Don't laugh. His rendition of "Love Me Tender" has the breadcrumbs piling up on the ground. 1.1512 0.05103 86 77 5 4
4358 No mate for a few years leads to drastic measures..... 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
4359 I was the one who had to talk him through that chest plucking phase. 1.1512 0.04827 86 76 7 3
4360 Actually, I think Don Henley was the one whose feathered look was more memorable. 1.1512 0.03885 86 73 13 0
4361 Somebody needs to tell Elvis that eagles aren't song birds. 1.1512 0.05103 86 77 5 4
4362 He migrates from Memphis. 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
4363 do you think he knows that we know? 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
4364 Reminds me of Liberace... 1.1509 0.03975 106 92 12 2
4365 Body Dysmorphia! 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
4366 Too bad he can't sing like Elvis. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
4367 Singing differently is no way to attract females. 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
4368 Rogaine! 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
4369 He says when he looks in the mirror he sees Elvis, but I don't see that, do you? 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
4370 He is still more capable of running the country. 1.1505 0.04573 93 82 8 3
4371 She didn’t believe me that Liberace was one of the MALE humans. 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
4372 I think he took ‘Bald Eagle’ a little too seriously. 1.1505 0.03728 93 79 14 0
4373 And he has the audacity to call himself a Bald Eagle! 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
4374 Like everybody doesn't know it's a toupee. 1.1505 0.04573 93 82 8 3
4375 It kinda makes sense when he's singing 'God Bless America.' 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
4376 Looks better than his comb over. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
4377 He's starting a movement to eliminate "bald" from our identity 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
4378 Why would anyone shave his two kids' heads to make himself a hairpiece? 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
4379 He thinks he's the Spirit of '76, and he's right -- 1976. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
4380 He thinks he's The King. 1.1500 0.05063 80 71 6 3
4381 He just returned from seeing Wayne Newton's show in Vegas... 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
4382 I heard he’s going to audition for a boy band. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
4383 He wanted to show Donald Trump a thing or two. 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
4384 He's dating again and he thinks it makes him look younger. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
4385 See Henry! I told you Elvis was still alive! 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
4386 He's never been able to accept the 'bald' part." 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
4387 As if he wasn't distinctive enough. 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
4388 And he doesn’t even have his beret on straight! 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
4389 He just went to see "Elvis". 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
4390 That comb over's not fooling anybody. 1.1500 0.05366 80 72 4 4
4391 Humor him. He's a wannabe Elvis inpersonator. 1.1500 0.03589 100 85 15 0
4392 The Grand Toupéed Eagle 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
4393 They’re saying he’s Elvis incarnate, and, honestly, I see it. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
4394 That promotion really got to his head.” 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
4395 He’s got that big ‘do energy 1.1495 0.03710 107 92 14 1
4396 Well, the combover wasn’t fooling anyone either. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
4397 He just got back from a Turkey farm 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
4398 He doesn’t know when to give it up and just shave it. 1.1494 0.03844 87 74 13 0
4399 The flockmaster will not approve of you chirping “like” so many times in each sentence 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
4400 If he puffs out his chest any further, he’ll topple right over. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
4401 Comb-over? No, it's definitely a toupee. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
4402 Nice looking specimen, but what is with the beret? 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
4403 He's so "yesterday". 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
4404 No, no…he didn’t get it to stop the “bald” jokes. He thinks it makes him look regal. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
4405 Bald Eagle turned bad 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
4406 He gets it from his mom's father. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
4407 Just wait till he goes bald! 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
4408 Ever since the Gypsy Moth got a new name, he's been upset that it's still okay to call eagles 'bald.' 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
4409 Yeah, like nobody knows we’re bald eagles! 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
4410 He's leaning 'less raptor, more rockabilly.' 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
4411 What a lousy toupee. 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
4412 You know what they say, once an Elvis fan…… 1.1489 0.03692 94 80 14 0
4413 He says it cost him a fortune. 1.1489 0.03692 94 80 14 0
4414 He heard that bald eagles were no longer endangered 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
4415 He wants to ask me out but I don’t like the combover 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
4416 Everyone knows he's a bald eagle. 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
4417 Worked so hard, hair grew on his head. 1.1486 0.05333 74 66 5 3
4418 You lunch on rodents and you come out Elvis--stick with fish, my friend. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
4419 His nickname’s the Memphis Flash. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
4420 He doesn't know what's currently trendy. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
4421 He got tired of hearing ‘Bald Eagle’ and people pointing at him. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
4422 It's definitely fake: The moment he moves, his wings will fall off. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
4423 Ralphie's looking for a lounge act gig. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4424 It's a rare toupe-an. 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
4425 He goes to the “other” bird feeder”! 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4426 Elvis, you've change!!! 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4427 Guess who thinks he's The King now. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4428 Nice nest! 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4429 He's been hanging out with mocking birds." 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
4430 Egnor thinks his Toupee is quite the woke statement 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
4431 American Toupee Eagle, he’s running for President. 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
4432 He thought he could fly with blue suede shoes on? 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
4433 Changing the look to differ from others won't make you better than them. 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
4434 We call him a Rogaine Eagle 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
4435 Coin tryouts. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
4436 This younger generation isn't bold anymore. 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
4437 Terrible dye job, isn't it? 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
4438 Is that a worm on his head or a toupee? 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
4439 Two is company, there's a crow. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
4440 Did you know this was the 50s? 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
4441 Definitely A Toupee! 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
4442 Things just got a bit hairy from then on. 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
4443 Love HIM tender? I don’t think so. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
4444 He insists we call him Elvis now. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
4445 People kept yelling, 'Look! Look! A bald eagle! A bald eagle!'. Drove him batty. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
4446 He was offered a glass of "Tokay," but he didn't have his hearing aids on so he heard "Toupee." 1.1474 0.03656 95 81 14 0
4447 I hear he also has blue swede shoes? 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
4448 It's not even a good rug. 1.1474 0.03656 95 81 14 0
4449 It Almost Looks Natural. 1.1474 0.03656 95 81 14 0
4450 The Elvis look definitely got my attention. 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
4451 That toupee doesn't do a thing for him. 1.1474 0.03656 95 81 14 0
4452 Apparently Frank has decided to really lean into his irrational insecurity. 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
4453 He thinks he's all that because his father was a rooster. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
4454 He’s always putting on hairs. 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
4455 Bad rendition of Love Me Tender, in my opinion. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
4456 He's got a long beak hiding under there. 1.1466 0.04108 116 103 9 4
4457 Personally, I think bald is beautiful." 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
4458 Apparently, the cure for baldness can be found on a tiny prey called the doll. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
4459 He could've afforded a sports car if he hired the divorce lawyer I recommended. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
4460 The affectation is beyond belief. 1.1463 0.04945 82 73 6 3
4461 The leak at the Rogaine factory, I'm guessing. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
4462 He just an impersonator. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
4463 I told you Elvis is alive! 1.1463 0.04945 82 73 6 3
4464 Hair club for eagles 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
4465 Wait for it ... he's gonna start his Elvis impersonation any minute. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
4466 Are you crazy? Nothing says Symbol of the Free World like a comb over. 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
4467 It’s a reminder of his landing at O’Hare. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
4468 He's full of himself--ever since he started using minoxidil. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
4469 He's auditioning to be the official bird of Spain. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
4470 I just don't understand why you would go for such an unnatural color. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
4471 he says he's related to Ethan Hawke 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
4472 It's supposed to attract females. Do you feel anything? 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
4473 Putting lipstick on a pig" gets the point across, but "gluing a toupee on an eagle" could be construed as too political. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
4474 That’s Elvis of the Night Hawks 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
4475 At least his head stays warm. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
4476 He wanted to honor the former President, but they were out of orange dye. So now it's "Elvis Eagle," bird of prey. 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
4477 Ok,Ok but he’s still an eagle, right? 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
4478 Plumage is always richer on some human’s head, for this guy. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
4479 It's giving... beta male. 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
4480 I heard him say he ain't nothing but a hound dog and he looks nothing like a hound dog. 1.1458 0.04437 96 85 8 3
4481 I guess the Rogaine didn't work. 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
4482 He brought his lunch today. 1.1458 0.03621 96 82 14 0
4483 No, less of an impersonator and more of Little Richard-Andy Kaufman-Jim Carey-as-Andy Kaufman Elvis-ness exploration. 1.1458 0.04437 96 85 8 3
4484 He's literally rebellious. 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
4485 Though the shell may belong to Great Britain / The eagle inside / Will wear a wig!" - First draf 1.1456 0.03755 103 89 13 1
4486 Elvis is NOT dead ! He is one of us and puffing his stuff ! 1.1456 0.04232 103 91 9 3
4487 Is he wearing a beret? 1.1456 0.03493 103 88 15 0
4488 Bald Eagle? Toupee Eagle? It's hard to tell the difference. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
4489 He’s having a mid-life crisis. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4490 Shouldn’t have named him Elvis! 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4491 He's going to Graceland. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4492 Was that a squawk or admiring the coif? 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
4493 He got declassified at Mar-A-Lardo... 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
4494 He's channeling Elvis again. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
4495 Is there room for a BOLD eagle here? 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
4496 Behind every MAGA is D.O.G. (Delusions of Grandeur) 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
4497 That's just so not American, hon. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
4498 It's not so bad, but the pompadour is a little much. 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
4499 I keep trying to come up with something better than an old "bald" joke, but so far I'm drawing a blank. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
4500 I thought the Pompadour Eagle was extinct. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
4501 He's heard that Elvis is the king. 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
4502 He's not just a bald eagle, he's a balding bald eagle. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
4503 Dad is babysitting whilst mom is shopping for supper. 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
4504 Like cool" he said - huh 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
4505 Eat your heart out. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
4506 I heard he's completely bald on top. 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
4507 You couldn‘t even find the birdie in the picture. 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
4508 A hair in the head is worth two in the brush. 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
4509 I know it looks really good and he only had to kill 67 rodents. Amazing! 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
4510 Al's always the the Rebel no bald head for him. 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
4511 Is that combover real? 1.1444 0.03726 90 77 13 0
4512 Yeah, his Elvis toupee may attract the females, but I'm not giving up our historic baldness! 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
4513 He thinks he’s better than us after going to Hair Club for Eagles but they aren’t going to re-print the dollar for him! 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
4514 Can't wait to see what happens when he sweats. 1.1444 0.04623 90 80 7 3
4515 Can you believe Steve? That wig isn’t even fake! 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
4516 He is given up,on match dot com so hopes his new rug will attract. Better. Love interests. 1.1443 0.04394 97 86 8 3
4517 They don’t “the king” for nothing. 1.1443 0.03875 97 84 12 1
4518 He performs as an Elvis impersonator at The Hen House night club. 1.1443 0.03587 97 83 14 0
4519 You can do anything, but I'd lay off of his blue suede shoes!" 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
4520 I told him the ladies can tell, but does he listen? 1.1442 0.04193 104 92 9 3
4521 I told him that Audobon podcast would only make him self-conscious. 1.1442 0.03965 104 91 11 2
4522 Calls himself "Elvis the Eagle" nowadays. 1.1442 0.03462 104 89 15 0
4523 I refuse to call him Elvis the Eagle. 1.1441 0.04016 111 98 10 3
4524 He never liked being a bald eagle. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
4525 Rug or no rug, he's still a bald eagle. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
4526 See how we have all this dark chest hair, though? Guys with higher testosterone levels tend to have more body hair but go bald. That dude’s chest is lily white. You can tell he isn’t virile. Zero sexual energy off him. Just doesn’t pop, ya know? 1.1429 0.05135 77 69 5 3
4527 He thinks he's Elvis reincarnated. 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
4528 Pretty boy! Pretty boy! 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4529 He just flew in from Britain 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
4530 He never conforms. He even refuses to mate. 1.1429 0.03555 112 97 14 1
4531 Kind of denies our defining feature. 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
4532 Well, Elvis thought he was the symbol of America too. 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
4533 Well it has a certain "je ne sais quoi", but after a few wet dives? 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
4534 He's cuckoo if he thinks that anyone believes that hairpiece is real. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
4535 What. Do You think you're Elvis or something? Defeats the term bald eagle though. 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
4536 Ever since he got that rug he’s been shaking his feathers and doing the birdhouse rock! 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
4537 Yep, it’s a toupee. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
4538 Why is that guy making me feel small. 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
4539 He is very sensitive about the whole “Bald Eagle” moniker 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
4540 Isn't that Moe Hawk? 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
4541 Where'd he get the rug? 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
4542 I blame Elvis(2022) 1.1429 0.03689 105 91 13 1
4543 A veritable bold eagle, wouldn’t you say? 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
4544 It isn’t because he doesn’t like being bald, he just wants to try his luck at being an Elvis impersonator. 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
4545 He sings like Elvis. 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
4546 ...And such a young guy too, it's been comming in a little at a time for weeks. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
4547 I feel cheap... In his father's time we always were four. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
4548 And I thought bald had become beautiful 1.1429 0.05135 77 69 5 3
4549 I know what Harold had for lunch. 1.1429 0.03689 91 78 13 0
4550 He pretends to be balding to get sympathy. 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
4551 That's supposed to compensates for his lack of prey drive? 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
4552 I don't think Wigged Eagle is a name that's going to fly. 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
4553 He landed the lead in the Grease revival in the park. 1.1429 0.03689 91 78 13 0
4554 He's been like that ever since seeing "Elvis." 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
4555 Maybe if this cartoon were to be colorized .... 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
4556 Fucking Baz Luhrmann! 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
4557 Clueless about "heir apparent," but he is sexy. 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
4558 What makes him think he's so great just because he is a bird of a different feather? 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
4559 Donald is so self conscious, and takes the bald name too much to heart! 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
4560 That tacky toupee is just a denial of his own heritage. 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
4561 The young chicks don't like to date bald eagles. 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
4562 He asks the rabbits if they’re feeling good tonight, and then he eats them. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
4563 He saw the Elvis movie and thinks people will pay to hear him chirp. 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
4564 You ain't nothing but a hound dog...what does that even mean? 1.1414 0.03520 99 85 14 0
4565 Well dear, you should see him on the keyboard! 1.1414 0.04064 99 87 10 2
4566 Elvis has flown from the aviary. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
4567 I tried telling him it was normal to be bald. 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
4568 Is he coming or going? 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
4569 I really don't get the point of a toupée 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
4570 Ever wonder how any of us would look with a rug? 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
4571 I told him it was a bird brained idea ! 1.1412 0.04779 85 76 6 3
4572 Twat. 1.1412 0.04779 85 76 6 3
4573 He has a charismatic strongbird personality. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
4574 Doesn't he realize that stupid wig makes him look like Groucho Marx 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
4575 I heard his name is Elvis. But some call him The King. 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
4576 He's just a hunk-a hunk-a burning love! 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
4577 I think he is a fake... 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
4578 I liked him better when he was bald like us. 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
4579 Well now that he closed the borders, we won’t be heading north for the summer! 1.1412 0.04779 85 76 6 3
4580 Of course that's Sam Donaldson 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
4581 That guy sucks 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
4582 We’ll always be bald eagles. One can roost hirsute but when you take wing it all blows away. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
4583 He's an Elvis megafan. 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
4584 Just when you think you are the most endangered species ... 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
4585 He really thinks that nobody knows it's a rug. 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
4586 Actually, no - he says it's a family heirloom. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
4587 He thinks a full pompadour warrants special attention. 1.1410 0.05072 78 70 5 3
4588 Don't disturb him, he's tired from flying all those classified documents to Putin in Russia. 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
4589 Don't say anything, he thinks it helps to get women. 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
4590 I wonder what color feathers our children would have. 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
4591 I think he’s overcompensating because his father was a BALD Eagle 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
4592 He's ahead of his time by several hairs this time. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
4593 We're bald eagles, for crying out loud. Bald is beautiful. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
4594 At least he got rid of the mullet. 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
4595 I hear he makes a killer Döner kebap now, too 1.1400 0.04025 100 88 10 2
4596 The comb-over didn’t work, so he opted for the toupee. 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
4597 Well, the Eagle has landed - on his head! 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
4598 Do you think it might be a toupée? 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
4599 He's our new Undercover Eagle 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
4600 Being called a bald eagle offends him. 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
4601 Bald eagle with comb over 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
4602 He thinks it'll get him a stamp contract - NOT! 1.1398 0.04735 93 84 5 4
4603 Really? 1.1398 0.03615 93 80 13 0
4604 Momma's still looking for eggs! 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
4605 They call him Toupee Toucan Sam. 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
4606 Look! It’s the rare Trump Eagle! 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
4607 I thought the King had passed. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
4608 Well, he told me that he does it for compositional balance. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
4609 First, he wore it from embarrassment being bald. But in time, he became our award-winning Elvis Impersonator. 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
4610 Wearing a crown has gone straight to her head! 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
4611 He really thinks he’s special since he got his toupee 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
4612 He settled on the full pompadour look over short and textured. 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
4613 It's because of that young chick he's been seeing since Shirley left. 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
4614 He flew through Vegas and has been wearing it ever since 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
4615 Watch that hair piece fly off! 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
4616 I wonder how long it’s gonna take for him to realize there’s no hairspray up here. 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
4617 He wants to run for president 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
4618 He’s doing a wedding at noon today. 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
4619 …Only when he’s doing his Elvis impersonation. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
4620 That’s the lousiest Elvis impersonator I’ve ever seen.” 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
4621 Elvis? 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
4622 The politicians talk shit like usual about other political parties 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
4623 Does he think we wouldn’t notice he was wearing a toupee ? 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
4624 I think George has a new hair stylist 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
4625 If he does that screechy Elvis impersonation again I am out of here. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
4626 It falls off when he flies so girlfriends walk. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
4627 Well, it's much better than the comb-over. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
4628 Substance Fest 2022 1.1389 0.03593 108 94 13 1
4629 Don't say the word 'bald' around him. 1.1389 0.05346 72 65 4 3
4630 And he wants to be called The King. 1.1389 0.05346 72 65 4 3
4631 Like the world needs another Elvis? 1.1389 0.05346 72 65 4 3
4632 He thinks the wig makes him more attractive. 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
4633 They say there's an Elvis impersonator for every group on earth. 1.1386 0.03988 101 89 10 2
4634 What's next, socks? 1.1386 0.04229 101 90 8 3
4635 A bit on the beak, wouldn't you say? 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
4636 We are known as, "Bald Eagles", so why is that look going to take on a path of extinction? 1.1383 0.03580 94 81 13 0
4637 Five gets you ten it’s a rug! 1.1383 0.03580 94 81 13 0
4638 He was looking at a copy of GQ magazine yesterday. 1.1383 0.04687 94 85 5 4
4639 She says it makes her feel regal. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
4640 There's just something so darn unpatriotic about it. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
4641 Wait until Mo-Hawk hears about this. 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
4642 He's too good for bald. 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
4643 I get the toupee, but the flock of seagulls? 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
4644 He's not just the president of Hair Club for Eagles -- he's also a member!" 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
4645 I think it looks foolish, but some of the chicks seem to like it. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
4646 Its not modesty. He's trolling for Bald Eagle jokes and I'm just not going there. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
4647 Next thing you know, he'll be changing his name. 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
4648 This Elvis stuff is SO dated. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
4649 He’s not just the President’s seal, he’s also a client. 1.1379 0.04674 87 78 6 3
4650 He thinks no one know about his minoxidil. Hah! 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
4651 I just love the way he sings jailhouse rock 1.1379 0.04674 87 78 6 3
4652 Never had a hair on his bald head 'til he got back from Memphis. 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
4653 Poor guy didn't like being a bald eagle. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
4654 I told him to stick to nest weaves. But who listens? 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
4655 He always has a talon to the political winds 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
4656 Should we bald shame him? 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
4657 I think he’s a danger to our democracy, no matter what color his hair is this time. 1.1375 0.04950 80 72 5 3
4658 Don't be fooled... he's wearing a toupee 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
4659 Have you ever heard of a bald eagle wearing a toupee? 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
4660 Looks like streaming the Elvis movie was a really bad idea. 1.1373 0.03697 102 89 12 1
4661 No, it's not just like lipstick on a pig! 1.1373 0.03697 102 89 12 1
4662 Oh say can you see Byron’s other wig. 1.1373 0.03951 102 90 10 2
4663 Apparently,it's a difference that makes a difference. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
4664 We should have never gone to that Lyle Lovett concert last month 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
4665 I don't care what Heidi says this look is Not, Making the Cut 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
4666 ...The even rarer "toupee'd " eagle. 1.1370 0.05276 73 66 4 3
4667 You don’t think it’s obvious? 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
4668 Right after he attend the classic rock concert… 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
4669 I'm pretty sure wearing a toupee doesn't make you not endangered anymore, but you do you. 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
4670 I thought toupees were only for toucans 1.1368 0.04391 95 85 7 3
4671 Does he have any idea how redicuolous he k looks? 1.1368 0.03545 95 82 13 0
4672 Harry doesn’t think bald is beautiful! 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
4673 He’s on the hunt again. 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
4674 What is going on with Mark? Does he have another bad hair day?" Olivia Xu, New York City, N.Y 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
4675 It's too obvious, he's not going to fool anyone. 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
4676 Why does he keep asking where the escalator is? 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
4677 Must be Roseate Spoonbill migration season. 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
4678 Look at him trying to change his essence. 1.1364 0.04623 88 79 6 3
4679 I'm not convinced. Impersonators can get reincarnated too you know. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
4680 He doesn’t flock together. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
4681 That tufted titmouse he’s been dating is making him feel inadequate, I blame it solely on her 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
4682 Oh my gosh!! It's Elvis Birdly!! 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
4683 I still say that bald is beautiful. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
4684 Actually it looks pretty classy 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
4685 Don't mention the hairpiece and whatever you do - don't call it a rug!" 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
4686 Oh, I thought periwig was I type of fish. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
4687 He said "You're fired!" to all the pigeons he met yesterday... 1.1358 0.04892 81 73 5 3
4688 I got to get me the same coiffeur but I will want to be a redhead. 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
4689 He’s President of “Hair Club for Eagles.” 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
4690 Forget the do, inside he's still a hairy chested nut scratcher. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
4691 Just wait until you hear his Elvis impersonation. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
4692 He makes sightings extra special. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
4693 If I were married to that guy, I'd be after him every minute to buy more life insurance. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
4694 He figures it worked for Trump. 1.1354 0.03511 96 83 13 0
4695 He doesn't deserve to be on the endangered list. 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
4696 If he's still wearing it tomorrow we should kill him haha 1.1354 0.03511 96 83 13 0
4697 It's just unnatural. What is he going to call himself, a Haired Eagle? 1.1354 0.03810 96 84 11 1
4698 They say he is Elvis reincarnated. Let's wait for the song contest tomorrow. 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
4699 I think it is a bold move. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
4700 Yeah ,but have you seen his tail feather? 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
4701 He says it makes him look younger. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
4702 Whatever you do, don’t call him Roy. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
4703 He was feeling too pre-historic. 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
4704 ‘If Bald really is more an attitude, maybe we at least give it a try?’ 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
4705 He's just moulting." 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
4706 You ever heard of Ashwaganda? 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
4707 Somehow he thinks he looks younger & more sophisticated. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
4708 He's very secure in his manhood. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
4709 Get a load of Roclin’ Robin. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
4710 Elvis" is going to leave the building 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
4711 I know… but he insists it’s all his and not a toupee. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
4712 Check please! 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
4713 He got tired of predicting the weather ! 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
4714 Does anyone . still wear . a hat?" - Birds who brunc 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
4715 At least he didn't go for the "beach boy blond". 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
4716 I guess that's one way to put the magic back in your death spiral. 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
4717 About you and that black-capped chickadee... 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
4718 You should really see his act in Vegas 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
4719 Not just a singer, he knows how to wag a tail feather. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
4720 Even worse,he keeps singing,"You ain't nothin' but a hound dog." 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
4721 He came here from Hollywood” l d soderlind mpls, mn 1.1348 0.04573 89 80 6 3
4722 He’s an Originalist 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
4723 He claims it’s male pattern baldness. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
4724 Don’t mock him, that’s Liberace, he’s laughing all the way to the bank.” 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
4725 He says it‘s a great way to meet chicks. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
4726 C'mon, that plumage isn't fooling anyone. 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
4727 Best Elvis impersonator you'll ever see! 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
4728 He has no idea how ridiculous he looks 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
4729 He is the best guard dog that we ever had! 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
4730 I hate it when they say our conversation is "just for the birds". 1.1341 0.04835 82 74 5 3
4731 He must be wearing a toupee. 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
4732 Think we should tell Mom that we ate all the worms? 1.1340 0.04048 97 86 9 2
4733 More like the 'King of Losers' am I right? 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
4734 I’m an empath, and I tell you there is something really wrong with that bird! 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
4735 It’s sad to see a fellow bird give into the beauty standard 1.1333 0.03603 90 78 12 0
4736 Poor guy. Must be so embarrassing. 1.1333 0.03603 90 78 12 0
4737 Yup, it’s stitched in! 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
4738 I heard he does news on the fly. 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
4739 'You should see what the Booby got done...' 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
4740 Everyone knows we 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
4741 Cheryl, I tell ya he ain’t nuthin but a bird-dog 1.1333 0.03598 105 92 12 1
4742 I think Elvis is cool, too, but really . . . 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
4743 His birdsong is now YMCA. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
4744 I think it’s a bird beard 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
4745 He used to be a pigeon before his makeover! 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
4746 Is like he’s trying to be a whole new species. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
4747 He is going to make himself a target. 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
4748 He's taking the 'King of Birds' thing a little too far. 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
4749 She needs to go for tweetment. 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
4750 An iconoclast. You try and categorize him, he’ll just go in the other direction. 1.1327 0.03737 98 86 11 1
4751 Hate that toupee! Doesn't he know that bald is beautiful? 1.1327 0.03737 98 86 11 1
4752 He thinks he is so hot with that new comb-over. 1.1327 0.03737 98 86 11 1
4753 I always forget, is it “bald-faced” or “bold-faced?” 1.1327 0.03737 98 86 11 1
4754 His name is Harry Eagle, and he got tired of being teased over the bald thing. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4755 He says that Hair Club For Men is expanding its market. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
4756 Self-alignment is far better than following a wanderer leader. But believing in the right path will surely deliver the best result. Choosing the right leader is like assuming a way behind the fog. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4757 Just another Elvis impersonator 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4758 Huge identity crisis. Thinks he has to lift his leg because he's a poodle and that's a fire hydrant. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
4759 So glad that wood block prints are back in style. Don't you think we look our best? 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4760 Y'know, now that Bob's parted his hair on the other side, he looks quite fetching. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
4761 Fly eagles fly,on the way to the salon! 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4762 After one winter in Las Vegas ten years ago. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4763 Kids these days." 1.1319 0.03566 91 79 12 0
4764 I'm confident that this bird can sing better than we can because it has Elvis' hair. 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
4765 Are you serious right neow 1.1319 0.03566 91 79 12 0
4766 Elvis reincarnated. Don't ask. 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
4767 Ever since he got that toupé, he’s been aiming for the Country and Western charts. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
4768 He calls himself the ‘Double Eagle!’” 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
4769 I told you, mama, that this silver throated Elvis might be a good snatch for one of our chicks! 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
4770 Who does he think he's fooling with that rug? 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
4771 Someone’s peacocking. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
4772 Big deal,I can caw in baritone,too. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
4773 Woah, dude not cool. You know, my mom's half Bonelli. 1.1313 0.03702 99 87 11 1
4774 Not only still alive, but looking rather regal after all these years. 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
4775 He's trying it out if Trump becomes President again. 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
4776 After that fiasco with Trump it's the only way he can go out in public. 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
4777 Around the salon word is it’s a toupee! 1.1310 0.04724 84 76 5 3
4778 What happens to that terrible toupee when he flies to the church tower across the street? 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
4779 His name is Elvis. 1.1310 0.04724 84 76 5 3
4780 Please just see his forward perch as a case of age before beauty 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
4781 Can't say. Can you name it? 1.1308 0.03776 107 95 10 2
4782 Do you think he knows,we know it’s a toupee? 1.1308 0.03776 107 95 10 2
4783 There’s mom again sexually chirping for our nest dad. 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
4784 Truth dare: Do you find him attractive? 1.1304 0.03530 92 80 12 0
4785 That's a stupid haircut. 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
4786 I've seen some wigged-out bird brains in my day, but I tell ya... 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
4787 we’re supposed to be unbiased. 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
4788 Birds of a feather mean an Elvis pompadour now? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
4789 The minoxidil gave him hives. 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
4790 Pretty soon they'll be wanting to change our name to just "Eagle"! 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
4791 Toupeed eagle" doesn't have quite the same ring 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
4792 He's off the American diet. 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
4793 Honestly, the Elvis obsession has gone one step too far. E pluribus unum, my ass! Do what you will, but I won’t be the one inviting him to the autumn grouse roast with POTUS. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
4794 When he flies, you can tell it is a toupee. 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
4795 Poor bastard” 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
4796 All the little birds on Jaybird Street...Rockin Robin... 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
4797 He thinks it’s worth being endangered if it gets more chicks 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
4798 He'll look better when he's an old bird and that awful hair turns white. Don't worry. It's only a wig for a costume party. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
4799 That is a really bad toupee! 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
4800 He lost his feathers young. 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
4801 See, I told you that I saw Elvis. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
4802 Seriously, the Liberace look?? No Honey, keep your comb over... Think about it..wind, rain, long flights..it is a bad idea. 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
4803 You wish that was you huh. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
4804 You want Liberace hair- Go ahead - eat the worm! 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
4805 Some have a harder time assuming their baldness. 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
4806 It’s always the same bad rap. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
4807 He was a theater kid. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
4808 He saw Viva Las Vegas at a drive-in movie. 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
4809 It’s either a wig or an eagle-doodle-do. 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
4810 He says he'll wear it until his Name-Image-Likeness checks start arriving 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
4811 He says his name is Frank. 1.1290 0.03495 93 81 12 0
4812 And one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready now GO CAT GO!!" 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
4813 It's like any President, we have to lead. 1.1290 0.03495 93 81 12 0
4814 That toupee looks dashing on him,wouldn 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
4815 I knew we shouldn’t have shown him that photo of Elvis in his Bald Eagle jumpsuit. 1.1287 0.03632 101 89 11 1
4816 No, YOU ask him why he was kicked off Twitter. 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
4817 He got a little too obsessed with Elvis the Musical. 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
4818 He was always self conscious about his baldness. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
4819 And you thought he was dead. 1.1282 0.04950 78 71 4 3
4820 Does that orange wig help? I doubt it 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
4821 What do you think? They call him Elvis! 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
4822 I still think we look more red-blooded. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
4823 He thinks if he wears that thing, Trump will change the national bird to the comb-over eagle. 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
4824 Don't tread on his blue suede shoes. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
4825 Well, I just hope he owns a baseball cap, if you know what I'm saying 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
4826 But he can’t sign and he has no hips. 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
4827 It doesn’t make him look younger, it makes him look fascist! 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
4828 "Yeah, new species. Called a 'Wiggle' " 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
4829 He doesn't identify as a Haliaeetus leucocephalus anymore. 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
4830 You would date an Elvis impersonator? 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
4831 I could see in the spring that he was unhappy and now this. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
4832 He thinks the sideburns make him look like Elvis 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
4833 He's kinda flighty....he thinks he's Elvis! 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
4834 He just didn't want to be defined by his lack of hair anymore. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
4835 Being unique, makes people talk. 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
4836 I said, 'He bawled you out, because you forgot to pay.' 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
4837 I think, maybe don't use the "b" word. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
4838 He's after those floozies in the next tree. 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
4839 Behold the chick magnet. 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
4840 What's your angle gonna be? 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
4841 I guess he doesn't think ' Bald is Beautiful ' . 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
4842 He thinks it will raise his standing in the social order of eagles. 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
4843 That one over there thinks he's a peacock 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
4844 He is really a rooster with delusions of grandeur. 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
4845 Of course it's a rug, but it doesn't make him any less virile. 1.1277 0.03460 94 82 12 0
4846 He's something but a hound dog. 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
4847 The poo-poo on top belies his belief that he's the highest and the mightiest. 1.1277 0.04068 94 84 8 2
4848 I don't mind the mullet brush over; it's the tattoos that turn me off. 1.1277 0.04340 94 85 6 3
4849 Well look who’s got their wings back! 1.1277 0.03460 94 82 12 0
4850 Dude's the Bill Shatner of the eyrie. 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
4851 France's 2nd gift. 1.1275 0.03859 102 91 9 2
4852 Clearly he’s having an identity crisis. 1.1275 0.03599 102 90 11 1
4853 There's God's gift to turkey vultures. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
4854 Her stylist is a crested cockatoo from Sydney. 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
4855 He is a bald Eagle, ya know 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
4856 And you thought Elvis was dead! 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
4857 Toupee or not, he’s still a bald eagle. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
4858 He calls himself Elvis. 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
4859 He never liked being bald." Earl Forte, Wayne P 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
4860 Call me old fashioned but I still believe a bald eagle should be bald. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
4861 He's not just the President of the Bald Eagle's Hair Club... 1.1264 0.03584 87 76 11 0
4862 That’s the guy who is sleeping with my wife. 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
4863 He keeps singing, "Don't be Cruel." 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
4864 You should have seen him after he watched Baz Luhrmann's 'The Great Gatsby.' 1.1264 0.04568 87 79 5 3
4865 He's from Los Angeles 1.1264 0.03584 87 76 11 0
4866 He really thinks he looks like Elvis 1.1263 0.04296 95 86 6 3
4867 Do We Need A Tuppance ? 1.1263 0.03426 95 83 12 0
4868 Must be a supply-chain issue for the white ones 1.1263 0.03739 95 84 10 1
4869 I think it's rather statesmen-like. 1.1261 0.03165 111 97 14 0
4870 He always had an issue with the Bald Eagle thing. 1.1250 0.04492 80 72 6 2
4871 He always looks like he’s auditioning for a role as a national symbol. 1.1250 0.03546 88 77 11 0
4872 Elvis or Roy Orbison? You pick! 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
4873 Someone should remind Marcel that he doesn't need this midlife crisis; we were born that way. 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
4874 I don't CARE if you liked the Elvis movie, Ted- pompadours still look ridiculous! 1.1250 0.03546 88 77 11 0
4875 YOU'RE BALD!!" "NO...I WAS BALD 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
4876 That dude knows his hair is his glory 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
4877 It’s more impractical than ridiculous 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
4878 This moment will be etched on my memory”. 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
4879 stop sq..gawking at him right in front of me! 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
4880 He's not just the presidential seal. He's also a client. 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
4881 That Elvis get up will never fly. 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
4882 Poor dude. Male-pattern hirsuteness. Runs in his family. 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
4883 He’s been wearing that stupid thing and singing “Take it Easy” all friggin day! 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
4884 And you thought no one would notice that we spent our "staycation" at Elvis Presley's Graceland. How else are we going to explain this to your sister? 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
4885 He'll probably run for President one now... 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
4886 He's a cosmopolitan. Central Park West, I think. 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
4887 I heard he got a gig at the Flamingo. 1.1250 0.03702 96 85 10 1
4888 What's wrong with being a Bald Eagle anyway - i would never stoop to wearing a toupe" 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
4889 He wants to schedule a stop in Nashville. 1.1238 0.03502 105 93 11 1
4890 I think he sings beautifully- thank you very much! 1.1237 0.03666 97 86 10 1
4891 He got hair plugs because he heard bald eagles were going extinct. 1.1237 0.04211 97 88 6 3
4892 He claims the chicks love the comb over. 1.1237 0.03360 97 85 12 0
4893 He thinks looking regal will help him get a cool nickname. 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
4894 He’s always been ashamed of our common name. 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
4895 He's in character for the upcoming Elvis Impersonator Contest. 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
4896 He knows Don Henley? Right. He shit on Don Henley's head. 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
4897 It's PLEAD, not PLAID! 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
4898 He thinks he's a quail. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
4899 He says its his new Elvis look. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
4900 Gosh, you'd think after all this time...birds can finally grow hair like everyone else. 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
4901 Ah...he's lying. We're the same age. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
4902 This will never doo. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
4903 I knew that Elvis marathon at the drive-in would be trouble. 1.1231 0.05146 65 59 4 2
4904 He's looking for someone's hand. 1.1224 0.03328 98 86 12 0
4905 What a bird brain!…… He thinks he chirps like Elvis. 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
4906 You'd never catch me wearing such an obvious featherpiece. 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
4907 Pffft! Like the chicks want to see this coming. 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
4908 I think the toupee belonged to last night's main course. 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
4909 How the heck did he get Rogaine? 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
4910 I get that we’re ‘homing pigeons’, but if he breaks into “Return to Sender” one more time, I quit! 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
4911 Sad, really, because he’s only a junior vice president. 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
4912 For God’s sake, stop humoring him, Irv. We ARE bald eagles, after all. 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
4913 The first successful hunt of the season goes right to his head. 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
4914 thats not elvis thats a bird 1.1220 0.04717 82 75 4 3
4915 Yep, he's going to the Elvis convention. 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
4916 He thinks it makes him look sexy. 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
4917 He met a hot chick and thought he needed a comb over. 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
4918 He thinks it looks great but the color is so off! 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
4919 So insulting - he said I'm nothing but a hound dog. 1.1220 0.04717 82 75 4 3
4920 The more I hear the more I think he might be right! A salmon wall is all we need!! 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
4921 HE HAS CLIPPED OUR WINGS, AND NOW HE WANTS US TO FOLLOW HIM OFF THE CLIFF. WHAT'S NEXT? 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
4922 That's the new age America you see right there! 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
4923 He was getting dangerously thin on top. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
4924 -there are better hair pieces but this is all that insurance covered. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
4925 He hated being bald. 1.1212 0.03297 99 87 12 0
4926 He and John Travolta share the same stylist. 1.1212 0.03596 99 88 10 1
4927 And here we were thinking we were stuck being bald eagles forever! 1.1212 0.03596 99 88 10 1
4928 Think Morrie Tells His Wife Everything? 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
4929 He always considered himself more of a sex symbol. 1.1212 0.04130 99 90 6 3
4930 If you think that rug is real, I have a bridge I can sell you…. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
4931 All he needs to be a rockstar now is an ugly sparkly jacket. 1.1209 0.04086 91 82 7 2
4932 Anyone could spot it a mile off. 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
4933 He's of that age. 1.1209 0.04374 91 83 5 3
4934 He's no patriot. 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
4935 If he takes off I'll follow him. 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
4936 He’s worn it ever since he saw that Elvis movie. 1.1205 0.04336 83 75 6 2
4937 I told him his baldness was sexy, but… 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
4938 What happened to the Danny Zuko I met at the beach? 1.1205 0.04336 83 75 6 2
4939 He calls himself "Elvis the eagle". 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
4940 This is what happens when you read the dictionary only from a human point of view. 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
4941 So that's what he meant when he said he had bills to pay... 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
4942 He’ll never make any money as an Elvis impersonator. 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
4943 That's what he gets for catching his dinners in the Hudson. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
4944 He thinks he can attract chicks with that hairpiece 1.1200 0.03562 100 89 10 1
4945 I still say bald is beautiful. 1.1196 0.03736 92 82 9 1
4946 big deal its a toupee 1.1196 0.03736 92 82 9 1
4947 It happened when the last one left the nest. 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
4948 And he thinks it fools us because he's the president of the company. 1.1190 0.04609 84 77 4 3
4949 He thinks that he was the one nominated to be the national bird 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
4950 He really seems to think - No one can tell!?! hee hee hee 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
4951 I swear I can not deal with everyone’s shit. I’m going to go choke on some plastic, I am done with this malarkey. A fuckin toupee, are you kidding me? This is why we are endangered. 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
4952 Elvis is not dead 1.1190 0.04286 84 76 6 2
4953 Oh my God, wig. 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
4954 He can’t stand when people call him bald. 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
4955 That field trip group really got in his head. 1.1188 0.03236 101 89 12 0
4956 I think he's taking the "bald" portion of our name a little too literally!!!! 1.1184 0.04576 76 69 5 2
4957 Really, a toupee. We're bald eagles. 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
4958 She's flying to her audition tonight for All that Jazz. 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
4959 He thinks it will make him soar at will. 1.1183 0.03367 93 82 11 0
4960 Everybody is a genius but if you judge a bird by its toupee, it will spend it whole life believing its not a bald eagle 1.1183 0.04284 93 85 5 3
4961 They give him so much guff when he crosses the border. 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
4962 It has been a hot with the chicks.. 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
4963 He’s a registered Independent. 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
4964 Polly's really gone cuckoo and got a bird's nest hairdo. 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
4965 Poor soul can't even walk away for fear of humans. 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
4966 He just watched too many noir movies. 1.1176 0.04556 85 78 4 3
4967 …and then he said something about a plot to keep the proud eagle bald, so… 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
4968 He's furious we don't worship him, so that's why he's the galled eagle. 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
4969 Someone should tell him that he’s not going to get anywhere with the chicks wearing that bad hairpiece. 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
4970 I told you he was taking this Elvis impersonator thing too far! 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
4971 I didn't know it's publish and perish! 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
4972 "Who's going to tell him that the Elvis lookalike competition isn't happening until next week? 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
4973 No, it's not a toupee. He asked the leprechaun for an aerie, but the leprechaun made that eagle hairy. 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
4974 He is a member of Devo. 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
4975 He has his heart set on winning the Elvis impersonator contest." 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
4976 I almost made a "Death In Venice" reference no one will get. Instead, how about this: "I didn't think there was such a thing as bird wigs, but they got them on AliExpress. Minimum order is 1000. So my man has 999 more wigs." Hey, we fucking or what? 1.1170 0.04240 94 86 5 3
4977 At his age, he can make his hair any color he wants. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
4978 Don't ask about the hairpiece. He says he's always looked that dashing. 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
4979 I have a craving for furry mammal 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
4980 Midlife Sheesh! 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
4981 Eagle-vis 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
4982 It's our new anti-balding campaign. 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
4983 Won't it fly off when he is in a dive? Does hairspray help hold it down? 1.1163 0.04191 86 78 6 2
4984 I, for one, admire his moxie in the face of centuries of a negative stereotype. 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
4985 His Elvis act stinks. 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
4986 Uh-Oh., Look who's gossiping. 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
4987 Says the guy who thinks a wig will keep him from people thinking he's a bald eagle 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
4988 - Now he sings Viva Las Vegas every morning to wake up the neighboo 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
4989 If we all were humans but we had wings should we call the police and tell them to cut off our wings so we can be a human and eat all we want? 1.1163 0.04191 86 78 6 2
4990 Still just 'one out of many' in my book. 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
4991 Obviously a bold fashion statement. 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
4992 Piece dove. 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
4993 Don't know Bob, I kinda like it. 1.1158 0.03921 95 86 7 2
4994 She really bought into that 'we mate for life' line he fed her"... 1.1158 0.03624 95 85 9 1
4995 He thinks it looks natural. 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4996 Is he gay?" - "Ask him" - "I'm not gonna ask him! You ask him" 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4997 It’s nice to see the Toupeed Eagle population making a comeback. 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4998 He works as an Elvis impersonator. 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
4999 The worst part is everyone knows it’s fake, but the ladies go crazy for him anyways. 1.1149 0.04144 87 79 6 2
5000 I think he looks really great on that hair cut, indeed my friend 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
5001 nobody like the bald eagle anymore, we need wigs 1.1146 0.03588 96 86 9 1
5002 He was always self conscious, but a pompadour? 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5003 He's going through his Elvis phase. 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5004 It looks fishy because it's a fish. 1.1143 0.04791 70 64 4 2
5005 His toupee is so 70’s! 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5006 If he could hold a guitar, his Elvis impersonation would be spot on. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5007 Oh, I'm all for the shouting part. The twisting, not so much." 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
5008 I kept telling him that it was only a name 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
5009 He just hasn't been the same since we flew over that Elvis impersonator convention. 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
5010 If he had had it made with white feathers, it wouldn't look so ridiculous. I guess he took our common name a bit too literally – and personally. Apparently, he's a new subspecies – the toupee'd eagle. 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
5011 We could look that good if we had the money. 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
5012 We must be watching the wrong shopping channel. 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
5013 He saw Elvis in theaters and has been acting like this since. 1.1136 0.03403 88 78 10 0
5014 Should we request he sing, "Jailhouse Rock"? 1.1136 0.03403 88 78 10 0
5015 He saw the Elvis movie. 1.1136 0.04099 88 80 6 2
5016 Who does that Bald Eagle think he is? Fred Flintsone? 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
5017 Who wants to be the one to tell him that "Elvis has left the building?" 1.1136 0.03403 88 78 10 0
5018 Come on! It doesn't take an eagle eye to spot a fake! 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
5019 I told you- this is how he gets the ladies. 1.1134 0.03236 97 86 11 0
5020 If he had hips, I’m sure he’d swivel them. 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
5021 Why the hell does he want to impress chicks? 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
5022 Wignore him! 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
5023 You should hear him tweet Blue Suede Shoes. 1.1125 0.04355 80 73 5 2
5024 Does he REALLY think he's fooling anybody?? 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
5025 I’ll bet it’s Crogaine. 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
5026 Be nice! Word on the trees is ze was blown north with the Florida hurricane. 1.1125 0.04355 80 73 5 2
5027 He's got a hot date tonight. 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
5028 He soared to great heights; got his head in the clouds and came back as Mr. Showmanship. 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
5029 I hear there's a coif going around. 1.1124 0.04358 89 82 4 3
5030 Wow, he's such a wannabe! 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
5031 Paul thinks his new toupee makes him look like a tufted titmouse. 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
5032 They judged him because he was different. 1.1124 0.04055 89 81 6 2
5033 I dare you to gaze at her once more. 1.1124 0.04055 89 81 6 2
5034 Harry styles is quaking” 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
5035 I told you an Elvis wedding would be tacky. 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
5036 We Think There Is Something Wrong With His Head 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
5037 He can't fool all the people all the time. 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
5038 You might call it a leap. I think it's an evolutionary dead end. Overthinking is taking all the colors out of life!" 1.1111 0.04662 72 66 4 2
5039 Well, that's all we need...another Elvis impersonator! 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
5040 he wants to be an EAGLE SCOUT MODEL 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
5041 He is in the Elvis special 1.1111 0.04011 90 82 6 2
5042 Fdhdhhdh 1.1111 0.03331 90 80 10 0
5043 He thinks the toupee makes him look younger, but he can't hide his true identity. 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
5044 He believes it's unfair that it's still okay to call eagles "bald." 1.1111 0.04011 90 82 6 2
5045 And apparently he payed for that with the bird post money 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
5046 Don’t be naive…he’s using Propecia 1.1111 0.03768 99 90 7 2
5047 I always pictured it being in a church...with my parents here. 1.1100 0.03994 100 92 5 3
5048 I think he misheard when she told him that he needed to spread his wings a little further. 1.1099 0.03297 91 81 10 0
5049 Oi, don't be an ass and mention his wig. Remember, he's a bald eagle. 1.1099 0.03297 91 81 10 0
5050 They say he provides 4 worms to have a professional do his comb. 1.1099 0.03969 91 83 6 2
5051 You should see the way he moves his pelvis 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
5052 He thinks if he looks like Trump he’ll get more pay, um, I mean prey. But frankly, I think he should just try to get a better lawyer. 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
5053 After Henry's girlfriend broke up with him, he thought he'd wear a toupee to make him feel more handsome. What do you think? 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
5054 Unbelievable ... The guy buys a toupee and thinks he's a song bird! 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
5055 You don’t think the fame made him think thats a good style right? 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
5056 You can tell it from a mile away. 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5057 Two birds sat on the self-same branch. One ate the fruits therefrom. The other looked on in silence. (Kabir) 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5058 Nah, we'll avoid Mr. Blackwell's list...but all bets are off for the Endangered list. 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
5059 I say! If he ain’t bold! He ain’t one of us!” “Then what is he”? “Bird neutral ! 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5060 Spotted: Chuck Bass eavesdropping on B and S's gossip. 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
5061 The hairpiece makes him look younger, but really .. 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
5062 I told you to name him something other than Elvis 1.1094 0.05038 64 59 3 2
5063 Only and eagle-eye could spot that toupee. 1.1091 0.02986 110 98 12 0
5064 SKWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 1.1087 0.03263 92 82 10 0
5065 Why on earth would a raptor want to be Elvis? 1.1087 0.03927 92 84 6 2
5066 He looks even more handsome with his new hairpiece. 1.1087 0.03927 92 84 6 2
5067 She thinks she's a bird of paradise, but down deep she's just another progressive! 1.1087 0.03263 92 82 10 0
5068 Her you tube channel is very popular so be on your best behavior. You’re on camera. 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
5069 Steve and his hairpiece. Why doesn't he just aggressively dance at frightened females, like a real bird?! 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
5070 Yeah,the infamous blue bird of happiness flew over him and shat out that toopee. 1.1084 0.04539 83 77 3 3
5071 Is it Elvis, or an impersonator, d’ya think? 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
5072 Yea, and what's with the new hairpiece? 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
5073 From the brink of extirpation, to the height of vainglory. 1.1081 0.04540 74 68 4 2
5074 Don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
5075 Have you heard him sing? He’s quite a good imparrotinator of Elvis. 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
5076 Humor him: he thinks he's Elvis. 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
5077 See Helen, he does go to the beauty shop downstairs. 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
5078 He's too young to be any good in the nest. 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
5079 She says she's demonstrating that ‘bald’ is an absurd and insensitive name and thinks she can get them to change it, since they changed the Native American names of all those football and baseball teams. 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
5080 He's migrating to an ex-pat flock in Paris. 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
5081 Does Joe think he is fooling anyone? 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
5082 She looks familiar ... but, they all do. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
5083 the world doesn’t need another eagle Elvis impersonator. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
5084 “His petition to drop his first name was approved.” 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
5085 So, is that a quail or a partridge? 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
5086 He thinks that shaving ones head is giving in to societal expectations 1.1064 0.03537 94 85 8 1
5087 does he think we be-leaf that? 1.1064 0.03537 94 85 8 1
5088 Close” by Ryan Leonard “He’s already so close. Get ‘em of the tree. Shake it. The fucking branches. I don’t know if he’ll hang on or what.” Who, Elvis 1.1064 0.03197 94 84 10 0
5089 That is Sy Starling not Sy Sperling 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
5090 You would look so hot with an Elvis hairstyle too. 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
5091 Does he really think that his toupee is attractive? 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
5092 He thinks he'll attract more chicks with that thing on his head. 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
5093 What? He said he loved the ‘Elvis’ movie so much that he wanted to dress as him for Halloween.” 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
5094 The wife left him for a Going Bald Eagle. 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
5095 Elvis impersonators, they're everywhere 1.1053 0.03501 95 86 8 1
5096 He thinks the toupee makes him look like Elvis... 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
5097 He likes being called Elvis. 1.1053 0.03501 95 86 8 1
5098 Ever since he accidentally flew into a sixties revival concert, he's sold his soul to rock and roll. 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
5099 How much do you think Larry had toupee for that? 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
5100 Don't let on you know it's a wig. 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
5101 Is this guy serious? 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
5102 So I say, "Leo! You do you." And he says, "Flutter me Barbra! That's Barbra with a B, ok?" I say, "Hey, I'm there for ya, man!" MAN! Boy do I feel stupid! 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
5103 Now that is one 'woke' moment that is going nowhere. 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
5104 I know what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but really? 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
5105 Think he’s emulating King of Rock or King of Crock? 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5106 I told him we're not really "bald" but he insisted and now he looks like Elvis. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5107 I wish he would learn a new song. Jail House Rock is for the birds. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
5108 Wow.. the New Yorker has to use its caption contest to call out Trump instead of reporting on the real issues they supported for president… you know we all see you 1.1038 0.03775 106 98 5 3
5109 It's been nearly two years, the self loathing has to stop. 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
5110 I guess he'd rather be known as "LYING eagle." 1.1034 0.03284 87 78 9 0
5111 He sure looks good, but can he sing? 1.1034 0.03284 87 78 9 0
5112 Just because he is not bald he gets the better perch. 1.1031 0.03104 97 87 10 0
5113 Go with the big guy he knows what is best! 1.1031 0.03432 97 88 8 1
5114 What a patriotic American un-Balding Eagle! 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
5115 Don’t call it a ducktail if he can hear you. 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
5116 Yea, I know about all that nature thing, but for me, the big feathers and attitude, just doesn’t work for me. 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
5117 Wait till you see the naked mole rat! 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
5118 I'd never wear a toupe 1.1023 0.03249 88 79 9 0
5119 Hey, check out ole Elvis Birdsley over there. 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
5120 Why can’t you be more like Carl?! 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
5121 There's no living with him since he got his hairpiece. 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
5122 He will get an encore for his hairdo!! 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
5123 He's trying to recapture his lost eaglet. 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
5124 Hey, it worked for Elvis. 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
5125 He calls himself Roy Audubon . 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
5126 He thinks he sings like Elvis. 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
5127 He heard that he was referred to as the bold eagle, so he decided to change that image. 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
5128 Have you met Harry? 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
5129 January 8th and August 16th,like clockwork. 1.1013 0.04261 79 73 4 2
5130 I still don't understand why they made the bald eagle the national bird. Look at that wig! 1.1011 0.03589 89 81 7 1
5131 Since when is Elvis Eagle the national bird. 1.1011 0.03589 89 81 7 1
5132 He does this every year. He thinks it helps him attract the cute chicks 1.1011 0.03589 89 81 7 1
5133 He still looks like ELVIS to me! 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
5134 He just got his diploma in flying from Boston, so proud of him! 1.1010 0.03931 99 92 4 3
5135 If he was self conscious , why didn’t he just wear a hat 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
5136 So what kind of eagle does this make him? 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
5137 Who is the pretty boy then? 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
5138 A wig is one way to fix her baldness. 1.1000 0.03887 90 83 5 2
5139 He would be OK if they just dropped the "Bald" 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
5140 He's really come out of his shell. 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
5141 He thinks he's so much better than us 1.1000 0.03551 90 82 7 1
5142 He’s trying to pass himself off as a “Minor”bird. 1.0990 0.03302 101 92 8 1
5143 He begged and begged for Bosley, and now he's threatening to leave the nest. 1.0989 0.03513 91 83 7 1
5144 His non-conformism is threatening the rest of us 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
5145 He got the idea from Donald Trump. 1.0988 0.04159 81 75 4 2
5146 I know, but the chicks seem to dig it. 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
5147 He has a very kissable beak but he is too shy, just like me, what do you suggest to me? 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
5148 maybe Elvis did have an effect on some of us! 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
5149 That's his Halloween Trump toupee. 1.0978 0.03477 92 84 7 1
5150 He's a true Patriot. 1.0978 0.03477 92 84 7 1
5151 He bragged, "Touche..I have a toupe!" 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
5152 heard toupees are a thing now 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
5153 He says 'always avoid windmills.' 1.0968 0.03441 93 85 7 1
5154 He thought the salesman was offering him a twig to cover that bald spot. 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
5155 He thinks that toupee will get him more chicks.” 1.0968 0.03441 93 85 7 1
5156 Don't take it personally. He is just a sexist pigeon-pig 1.0968 0.03441 93 85 7 1
5157 Like anyone's gonna fall for tha...Glenn?" "...I'm hideous. 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
5158 Last week he wore a Moe Howard. 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
5159 This Elvis do is so unflattering. 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
5160 Ever since he saw Baz Luhrman's movie,"Elvis," he insists we call him "The King." 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
5161 He's so dreamy" "Watch out Cheryl I heard he's gotten with so many girls that he's got bird flu" Shreya Bora, New Jerse 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
5162 He looked better in red. 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
5163 What a poser. I hate him so much for his dumb hair. Look at that hair. I-WE aren't bitter that we only grow feathers. No. He looks just like Elvis. I wish I could look like Elvis but I've accepted that I can't, unlike this guy. Hey. Say you hate him. 1.0959 0.03981 73 67 5 1
5164 That’s a hare piece. 1.0957 0.03051 94 85 9 0
5165 He claims his shampoo works miracles, but we know it's a feathered toupée. 1.0957 0.03051 94 85 9 0
5166 She thinks she’s sooo fancy since she got back from Europe… 1.0957 0.03405 94 86 7 1
5167 Nobody told him that bald is beautiful. 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
5168 He has always been insecure about being called bald and after Minoxidil didn't work he went for the rug look" 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
5169 Doesn’t he know that baldness is in? 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
5170 His mid-life crisis started the moment he became an empty nester. 1.0946 0.04375 74 69 3 2
5171 It's a rara avis that can pull off a toupé like that! 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
5172 You know it doesn't look that bad. I might try one myself. 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
5173 Oh great, so now we're misnomers. 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
5174 What'd I tell you? Minoxidil everywhere! We could conceivably become extinct if something is done about this, and soon! 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
5175 I have to admit "combover eagle" sounds a bit more attractive. 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
5176 I've been staring at the black leaf for 30 seconds and I still only see 2 birds. 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
5177 His hair reminds me of Elvis! me of Elvis! 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
5178 I think he’s way too far into this “The Eagle Flies on Friday” thing. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
5179 Now that he has fledged, he's after a different sort of prey. 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
5180 He found it in a dumpster and glued it on. 1.0928 0.02961 97 88 9 0
5181 Go talk to him. He looks all shook up. 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
5182 And now he wants us to call him Elvis. 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
5183 He IDs as an Elvis Eagle 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
5184 The barber was on vacation. 1.0920 0.03116 87 79 8 0
5185 His latest hit is 'Are you a Lonesome Dove tonight'. 1.0920 0.03116 87 79 8 0
5186 I hear he's going for the new national bird prize (bird seed for a year) 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
5187 '"So enough with the gender politics already...I ain't wearin' no Elvis/Patti Lupone wig." 1.0920 0.03880 87 81 4 2
5188 Obviously, he's got a bad hair day! 1.0920 0.03880 87 81 4 2
5189 That Elvis impersonator sure could squawk with the best of 'em. 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
5190 I'm not sure . . . but it certainly isn't a comb over." 1.0918 0.03271 98 90 7 1
5191 Do you think we can ask him to sing “I’ll Be Seeing You?” 1.0918 0.02932 98 89 9 0
5192 Don't believe it, it's a wig. 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
5193 Pretentious swarthy line; not piebald like us. 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
5194 Ain’t nothing but lunch for a hound dog. 1.0909 0.04208 77 72 3 2
5195 I told Dad “bald is better” for an eagle—but did he listen? 1.0909 0.03480 88 81 6 1
5196 Oh, he's a Homing Pigeon......Sings "Return to Sender" all the live-long day. 1.0909 0.03480 88 81 6 1
5197 He's the worst Elvis impersonator I ever saw! 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
5198 He keeps saying, "There's a whole lotta fishing going on" 1.0899 0.03442 89 82 6 1
5199 Hey, I know they spent $100 on that haircut, but don’t they know we’re all bald eagles? 1.0899 0.03442 89 82 6 1
5200 It's an investment Donny. Nobody like's a bald eagle no more. 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
5201 There he goes again with his retro Umwelt 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
5202 How about Latinx-American Eagle -- still too microagression-y? 1.0889 0.03405 90 83 6 1
5203 I feel like instead of Regal Henry, his nickname should rhyme. 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
5204 The posing and the constant preening … dude is really full of himself since he joined Feather Club for males.” 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
5205 I agree. It looks great. I just don't think it's enough to bring Lord and Taylor's back to 5th Avenue. 1.0886 0.04104 79 74 3 2
5206 Don't be fooled, its a comb-over! 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
5207 Elvis Eagle is a really shitty name. 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
5208 I heard he flew in from Los Angeles. 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
5209 He thinks the Mohawk makes him look cool. 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
5210 He really thinks none of us knows it's a toup. . . . 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
5211 He’s totally on the Austin Butler train.” 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
5212 He identifies as a crooner. 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
5213 He got it in case he hits a window, whatever that is. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5214 I knew the mullet was back in style." Laurie Dickstein-Fischer, Needham, M 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5215 He overheard someone say he looks like a member of a famous rock band. 1.0854 0.03957 82 77 3 2
5216 Some eagles just have to be different. 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
5217 He tells more than a few bald lies. 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5218 Snicker, snicker, stop saying, "like a drunk in a midnight choir." Let him enjoy it, he wants to be a bird on a wire. 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
5219 Personally, I abhor toupees. 1.0843 0.03069 83 76 7 0
5220 Say's he ain't nothing but a hound dog. 1.0843 0.03069 83 76 7 0
5221 I think it looks quite natural, don't you? 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
5222 The irony is that he thinks it makes him look younger than us”. 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
5223 He’s cute, but I wish he would lose the rug. 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5224 People called him Elvis the eagle 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
5225 Did you hear about him splitting up with his birdie -- irreconcilable beak and wing differences. 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
5226 Hound Dog again? 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
5227 That’s Elvis trying to impress Priscilla. 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
5228 He says that the chicks really dig it. 1.0833 0.03199 96 89 6 1
5229 I don't know, it looks like a fake. I think it's from the other side. 1.0824 0.03821 85 80 3 2
5230 he slapped that salami 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5231 HE THINKS HE'S A BIG SHOT 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
5232 I told him, 'Of course it's a bald spot!" 1.0814 0.02966 86 79 7 0
5233 He’s a Hunka Birdin’ love, wouldn’t ya say? 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
5234 Who’s he trying to fool with that ‘Sweet Bird of Youth’ get up? 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
5235 His toupee is crooked. 1.0805 0.03358 87 81 5 1
5236 Some may say that being bald is a bad thing. We’re bald eagles.This Elvis impersonator is wearing a toupee to cover his bald spot! [Submitted by Kent Stanton, Evanston, Illinois]. 1.0805 0.02933 87 80 7 0
5237 Do you think he can hear us talking through that wig? 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
5238 Rockin' Robin 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
5239 Not as annoying as when he starts with that 'great again' stuff. 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
5240 I hear he is into classical 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
5241 There's a reason we don't see any Whigs today! 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
5242 Stop staring. You don't want him to Tweet @ you! 1.0778 0.02839 90 83 7 0
5243 OK . I don't get it>. Does she think that new "do" will catch fish or a new "Baldy." 1.0769 0.03985 78 74 2 2
5244 Even with his new Hairpiece he is still an old Bird. 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
5245 She says she's a fan of Josephine Baker's. 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
5246 Don't you dare, Harold. He's lying to himself. 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
5247 'He doesn't seem to know we have a higher testosterone level." 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
5248 It's Rogaine or one of those things. Why don't you try it? 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
5249 With her fancy feathers she's got our only resting place. Frankly, I don't give a poop. 1.0750 0.03456 80 75 4 1
5250 I told him it's a sign of self-loathing and that he looks silly, but he insists on wearing it. I refuse to be seen with him! 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
5251 Hey, check out that dude’s hair. 1.0745 0.03114 94 88 5 1
5252 That hairpiece is a real Turkey 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
5253 Suddenly he thinks he’s the next Dolly Parton. Our face is plastered around the country and he thinks he’s getting away with that. 1.0732 0.03374 82 77 4 1
5254 It's a comb-over come hither look. 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
5255 Part of his take on American exceptionalism, he was never comfortable with just being another bald eagle 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
5256 I tried to tell him that "Elvis Eagle" just isn't going to fly as a new national symbol. . .even in these hairy times! 1.0714 0.02827 84 78 6 0
5257 He said that he was going to be a Bold Eagle. 1.0698 0.02763 86 80 6 0
5258 That style's called 'The Tyrant', it's really popular these days" 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
5259 There goes my eyesight. 1.0685 0.03559 73 69 3 1
5260 I guess we’re all trying new styles this week. 1.0674 0.02673 89 83 6 0
5261 Just don't mention it... he's still sensitive about someone calling him a 'Bald' Eagle. 1.0659 0.02616 91 85 6 0
5262 I guess he’s waiting until Friday to fly and get us some food. 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
5263 He on his way to Vegas for his Elvis Cover band. 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
5264 No thank you,thank you very much 1.0656 0.03196 61 57 4 0
5265 The pompadour was actually named for the Roman orator Pompey! 1.0641 0.03335 78 74 3 1
5266 Oh, he used to be the mayor. 1.0641 0.03335 78 74 3 1
5267 I worry that the other bald eagles won't take to this too kindly. 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
5268 Another Elvis look alike. 1.0610 0.02659 82 77 5 0
5269 We’re called BALD eagles, not toupee eagles. 1.0594 0.02364 101 95 6 0
5270 Standoffish and bewigged, Elvis Bird will now warble, 'Caught in a Trap' to all the avian sadsacks locked away in tiny jails. 1.0575 0.02995 87 83 3 1
5271 Don't say it - the quiff gave it away, didn't it? Yes, he loves Elvis! 1.0568 0.02482 88 83 5 0
5272 Not only is he a bald eagle, he's a member... 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
5273 I wonder who his barber is? 1.0526 0.02578 76 72 4 0
5274 O.M.G, did you see Gerald's new haircut? He looks like that one guy Elvis Presley. 1.0513 0.03106 78 75 2 1
5275 I’m sorry, Feather Father descended from the heavenside layer to grant the hair gift to Grimblebeak? Fuck this. Fuck our tree, fuck Wise Old JellyTalon for playing politics and favoring a kiss ass and fuck that idiot’s hair. Our lives are meaningless 1.0482 0.02365 83 79 4 0
5276 He thought transplants would make him more sexy. 1.0471 0.02311 85 81 4 0
5277 Aaron Judge has also changed baseball, the great American game. 1.0467 0.02050 107 102 5 0
5278 He just brought what blackbirds have been doing for years to a new audience. 1.0465 0.02820 86 83 2 1
5279 Actually I like old-fashioned email better. 1.0435 0.02638 92 89 2 1
5280 I hate to talk about an old friend behind his back when he worked so hard making a wig out of feathers, but I don't think he has a chance of winning the Elvis Presley Look-Alike Contest with that beak. 1.0411 0.02339 73 70 3 0
5281 Elvis needs a little time to himself before each show". Heidi Roe, Myrtle Point, O 1.0238 0.01673 84 82 2 0
5282 It will confuse the Native Indians; Flying Mohawk Eagle ? 1.0132 0.01325 76 75 1 0