Contest #819


Cartoon

819

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. "I only knew about the moral code."
  2. "Says the guy who's probably not even wearing pants."
  3. "O.K., I took two risks today."


Name Value
Submission deadline 2022-09-18T19:08:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2022-10-02T19:09:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2022-09-26T19:09:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued October 3, 2022
Number of captions 5742
Number of responses 804325
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 My wife said, "Try them on, it won't kill you. " 1.8676 0.01409 3377 1384 1056 937
1 After Covid, I lost my taste. 1.8584 0.02488 1109 470 326 313
2 So my wife says, “Would it kill you to wear something colorful? 1.8413 0.01433 3145 1304 1036 805
3 I swore I would never be caught dead in these pants, yet here we are. 1.8251 0.01412 3276 1406 1037 833
4 I said checkered pasts! PASTS 1.8080 0.02854 771 330 259 182
5 Sorry, I thought it was going to be a zoom meeting. 1.8009 0.01512 2782 1217 902 663
6 It’s my wife’s idea of a joke. I said I’d wear them over my dead body. 1.7989 0.01458 2998 1317 967 714
7 My wife said she'd kill me if I ever wore these pants again... 1.7966 0.01403 3275 1456 1029 790
8 Ah, Mr. Rubik, we’ve been expecting you. 1.7878 0.01430 3101 1382 995 724
9 I didn't think I'd be caught dead in these pants. 1.7874 0.01633 2347 1037 772 538
10 No, I didn't die of embarrassment. 1.7867 0.02030 1486 647 509 330
11 I remember saying I wouldn’t be caught dead in these pants 1.7801 0.02055 1487 666 482 339
12 Can’t believe I was caught dead in these pants. 1.7793 0.01183 4609 2108 1410 1091
13 But my wife said SHE would die of embarrassment if I wore these. 1.7661 0.01756 2044 939 644 461
14 Is Joseph around? He has my coat. 1.7598 0.02202 1324 622 398 304
15 I could repant. 1.7529 0.01278 3970 1898 1155 917
16 Joseph got the coat and I got the pants. 1.7478 0.01387 3188 1481 1030 677
17 Well, you can come in, but those pants can go to hell. 1.7397 0.01578 2547 1225 760 562
18 I certainly have one regret. 1.7347 0.01185 4260 1989 1412 859
19 I told my wife I wouldn’t be caught dead in them. 1.7294 0.01379 3089 1438 1049 602
20 I was expecting this to be a Zoom Call 1.7281 0.01402 3133 1506 973 654
21 Okay, I took two risks today. 1.7239 0.01379 3187 1527 1013 647
22 I can change. 1.7232 0.01175 4216 1971 1441 804
23 As for the cause of death. . . 'embarrassment,' I assume? 1.7227 0.01481 2719 1292 889 538
24 Funny enough, my wife used to say these pants were proof there was no God." 1.7184 0.01969 1623 803 474 346
25 You could have let me finish the last three holes! 1.7160 0.01570 2377 1129 794 454
26 All I know is the devil wears Prada. 1.7150 0.01403 3182 1579 931 672
27 My wife said it wouldn't kill me to try some color. 1.7141 0.02692 801 382 267 152
28 Well if it isn’t Mr. Fancy Pants. 1.7115 0.01450 2950 1463 875 612
29 Getting kind of a judgy vibe from you, to be honest. 1.7112 0.01618 2230 1066 742 422
30 I’m here to see a guy named Joseph about a coat. 1.7048 0.01383 3056 1477 1004 575
31 I didn’t think fashion sins counted. 1.7017 0.01455 2756 1337 904 515
32 Look at these pants, haven't I suffered enough? 1.7013 0.01478 2618 1256 888 474
33 They match my checkered past. 1.6997 0.01610 2191 1050 749 392
34 Joseph kept the coat and gave me the pants. 1.6985 0.01416 2968 1465 933 570
35 I can't believe I died on laundry day. 1.6971 0.01350 3259 1610 1026 623
36 Dress for the heaven you want, I always say. 1.6908 0.01471 2652 1297 878 477
37 I’m with Joseph. 1.6904 0.01622 2187 1072 720 395
38 It never mattered on Zoom. 1.6871 0.02953 652 319 218 115
39 I only knew about the moral code. 1.6835 0.01505 2651 1348 794 509
40 Wouldn't be caught dead huh? 1.6823 0.01621 2169 1072 714 383
41 Well, yes...I did have a checkered past. 1.6813 0.01668 2024 995 679 350
42 This may be the wrong thing to say right now, but please, don't judge me. 1.6743 0.01685 1974 979 659 336
43 Well.....If you kept us naked this probably wouldn't be an issue. 1.6738 0.01495 2652 1359 799 494
44 The book says nothing about a dress code. 1.6708 0.01857 1543 748 555 240
45 Sorry, I was on the golf course when you called. 1.6701 0.02020 1367 681 456 230
46 I've been dying to wear these. 1.6696 0.01961 1453 725 483 245
47 Don't judge. 1.6563 0.01621 2287 1215 643 429
48 You took me too literally when I said these pants are to die for. 1.6531 0.02181 1182 608 376 198
49 I was told to see someone named Joseph about a matching coat... 1.6517 0.01632 2110 1088 669 353
50 Oops, I wasn't supposed to be caught dead with these on. 1.6459 0.01719 1892 982 598 312
51 Covid. You lose your sense of taste. 1.6445 0.01645 2315 1283 572 460
52 Of embarrassment. 1.6433 0.01759 2066 1160 483 423
53 She said she was going to throw them out. I said, “over my dead body.” 1.6358 0.01750 2114 1209 466 439
54 Yes, I'm wearing these. What are you, my wife? 1.6315 0.01912 1506 794 473 239
55 Did the putt go in? 1.6207 0.02030 1326 709 411 206
56 Yes, you can actually die of embarrassment. 1.6196 0.01937 1585 887 414 284
57 My wife bought them for me. She isn't here, is she? 1.6179 0.02116 1243 674 370 199
58 All I remember is saying I’d rather die than be seen in these 1.6177 0.02031 1546 901 335 310
59 Those are some righteous pants. Come on in . 1.6176 0.03965 353 191 106 56
60 So she says to me -“Would it kill you to wear the pants I bought for you?” 1.6122 0.02053 1537 911 311 315
61 PASTS. We accept checkered PASTS. 1.6020 0.02308 1201 718 243 240
62 You’re thinking of my brother. I’m Morty and the pants of many colors 1.5929 0.02531 899 516 233 150
63 Yes, I led a checkered life. 1.5919 0.02399 887 481 287 119
64 If it's the white shirt, I can change. 1.5892 0.02416 874 476 281 117
65 This pair of pants was to die for. 1.5877 0.02525 878 501 238 139
66 The very last thing I heard my wife say was “There’s no way on earth that you’re going to wear those pants out…” 1.5869 0.02425 898 499 271 128
67 Tell him RUBIK is here 1.5868 0.02465 910 517 252 141
68 Why, yes, I did go to Yale. 1.5851 0.02612 793 447 228 118
69 If Joseph could wear the coat, why can't I wear the pants? 1.5838 0.02570 829 471 232 126
70 We meet again, Mr Fancypants. 1.5838 0.02811 704 403 191 110
71 On Amazon, actually." 1.5833 0.02588 768 424 240 104
72 up 'til today they were my lucky pants 1.5829 0.02438 995 588 234 173
73 What Dress Code Commandment? 1.5826 0.02575 841 483 226 132
74 I didn’t know that taste was a consideration. 1.5763 0.02581 727 395 245 87
75 I guess I was wrong when I said that I wouldn't be caught dead in these pants. 1.5746 0.02405 992 585 244 163
76 So, I was trying the pants on and I said "I wouldn't be caught dead wearing something like this..." 1.5741 0.02586 810 465 225 120
77 I’ve been saving them for a special occasion. 1.5709 0.02666 748 428 213 107
78 Live a little,” she said. “Wear the ‘go to hell’ pants,” she said. “What could possibly go wrong? 1.5695 0.02694 748 433 204 111
79 You can't give us free will and then get mad because we use it. 1.5683 0.02738 769 459 183 127
80 I said you could come back and try again once you repented your checkered past, not once you re-panted with checkered pants 1.5675 0.02731 756 447 189 120
81 Sorry but it's your rules that make it come as you are. 1.5672 0.02779 647 362 203 82
82 Not in those, you don't. 1.5659 0.02752 728 427 190 111
83 Come on in. Joseph will be thrilled. 1.5629 0.02954 652 390 157 105
84 If laughter is the best medicine, those pants just cured cancer. 1.5609 0.03043 608 363 149 96
85 I told my wife, "I wouldn't be caught dead in those pants." And yet, here we are. 1.5602 0.02772 773 474 165 134
86 I thought all my fashion sins were absolved, too. 1.5601 0.02775 641 361 201 79
87 Funny, because my wife said I looked like hell. 1.5585 0.02779 684 398 190 96
88 And I say I *can* take them with me. 1.5567 0.03520 379 210 127 42
89 Any idea? My wife said that God only knows why I bought these pants. 1.5551 0.02941 672 411 149 112
90 Death said "Come as you are." 1.5543 0.02852 608 346 187 75
91 It was part of an elaborate dare. It did not go well. 1.5542 0.02966 572 328 171 73
92 Live a little!" she said 1.5533 0.02918 582 332 178 72
93 I guess you were caught dead in them after all. 1.5531 0.02728 772 471 175 126
94 I told her I'd rather die than give these to Goodwill. 1.5516 0.02853 678 407 168 103
95 I was color blind but now I see. 1.5492 0.02855 650 387 170 93
96 Well, excuse me for dying in Nantucket! 1.5459 0.02986 610 367 153 90
97 First the chequered past, now the chequered pants... 1.5435 0.03061 552 326 152 74
98 Are the robes mandatory? Because that's kind of a deal-breaker for me. 1.5427 0.02916 586 341 172 73
99 You expected white pants? It’s after Labor Day! 1.5403 0.02938 596 353 164 79
100 I see you passed through purgatory and brought along a souvenir. 1.5403 0.04172 298 177 81 40
101 Good point. If my shirt had this pattern, the car probably would have seen me. 1.5395 0.02922 608 362 164 82
102 …and so I says ‘The only way you’ll see me wear those pants is over my dead body’. 1.5377 0.03043 584 355 144 85
103 If I send you back, can you get me a pair? 1.5368 0.03156 557 343 129 85
104 Please tell me you have Rubik's Cubes in heaven. 1.5367 0.03203 490 289 139 62
105 Is it too late to change? 1.5367 0.03072 572 348 141 83
106 Here's the deal. You can come in but the pants can go to hell. 1.5356 0.03232 547 342 117 88
107 I thought a little color would bring a smile to the big guys face. 1.5351 0.03287 441 255 136 50
108 Hell? For the pants? Seriously?? 1.5341 0.03146 528 318 138 72
109 Don't let it color your judgment. 1.5314 0.03114 478 275 152 51
110 I never thought I'd be caught dead in these 1.5305 0.03198 541 336 123 82
111 That’s not fair. I was playing golf. 1.5303 0.03204 445 255 144 46
112 Hell wouldn't let me in. 1.5291 0.02851 618 369 171 78
113 My wife said she'd kill me if I wore these again. 1.5285 0.03092 543 329 141 73
114 He said, 'no way in hell' and sent me up here! 1.5284 0.03226 528 328 121 79
115 My wife said, "You wear those pants one more time and I'll kill you." And I said, "Oh yeah?!" 1.5258 0.03492 445 276 104 65
116 Well, I said I'd never get caught dead in these, but... 1.5251 0.03187 499 301 134 64
117 I told you I’ve been dying to wear these. 1.5234 0.03476 428 261 110 57
118 Yes, we do admit color-blind people 1.5211 0.03370 451 275 117 59
119 Your life’s choices are a bit of a puzzle to me, Mr. Rubik. 1.5209 0.03064 551 340 136 75
120 Tell Joseph I have his pants. 1.5208 0.03260 528 335 111 82
121 About this Genesis 37-3 thing, I was granted a “Coat of Many Colours,” but there was a mix up at the tailors! 1.5206 0.03188 436 251 143 42
122 Ironically, I had just said, "I wouldn't be caught dead in these pants." 1.5201 0.03104 548 339 133 76
123 Is it ok if I go back and change? 1.5190 0.03111 499 298 143 58
124 My wife said “if you wear those pants it’ll be the last thing you ever do”. 1.5160 0.03234 500 310 122 68
125 A checkered past, yes, but I’m a work in progress. 1.5124 0.03233 443 263 133 47
126 I’m looking for Joseph, he’s got the matching jacket. 1.5120 0.03159 500 306 132 62
127 Not Wearing Those, You Don't 1.5117 0.03563 383 232 106 45
128 Says the guy who's probably not even wearing pants. 1.5116 0.03496 430 269 102 59
129 I promised her I’d wear these so she could find me easier 1.5115 0.03282 434 259 128 47
130 They buried me in these pants. I had no choice. 1.5087 0.03555 403 250 101 52
131 Crimes against fashion aren't really sins,are they? 1.5072 0.03093 489 294 142 53
132 Isn’t it casual Good Friday? 1.5071 0.03329 420 252 123 45
133 You can stay but pants are going to hell. 1.5068 0.03229 511 324 115 72
134 But Joseph took my dinner jacket inside already. 1.5048 0.03282 416 247 128 41
135 She said she would kill me if I wore these pants. 1.5030 0.03195 503 316 121 66
136 If you let me, I’ll go home and change 1.5024 0.03454 412 257 104 51
137 My mother bought them for me, so technically they’re not the sins of my father. 1.5024 0.03340 418 253 120 45
138 What do you mean I'm at the wrong gate? 1.5014 0.03818 357 226 83 48
139 I do play golf every Sunday—what gave it away? 1.5000 0.03620 340 203 104 33
140 You chose that for eternity? 1.4974 0.03736 380 244 83 53
141 Apparently I have died of embarrassment. 1.4970 0.03880 338 216 77 45
142 My wife said she'd kill me if I wore these pants! 1.4961 0.03651 389 248 89 52
143 Thanks for getting me out of that Zoom meeting. 1.4961 0.03505 383 235 106 42
144 It turns out I would be seen dead in them after all. 1.4949 0.03704 394 256 81 57
145 No offence laddie. but the Scottish Heaven is next cloud over. 1.4941 0.03619 340 205 102 33
146 My wife said nobody in Hell would wear these pants. 1.4938 0.03572 403 257 93 53
147 My only crimes were against fashion. 1.4918 0.03197 425 255 131 39
148 No way in hell.” Those were his exact words. 1.4907 0.03461 428 274 98 56
149 I shouldn’t have been caught dead in these pants. 1.4905 0.03531 422 273 91 58
150 These are the Pearlie Gates. The Plaid Gates are down a bit. 1.4896 0.03632 384 245 90 49
151 I swore to myself I wouldn't be caught dead in these pants. 1.4895 0.03570 382 240 97 45
152 I’m afraid I was caught dead wearing these. 1.4895 0.03584 380 239 96 45
153 I didn't plan on being caught dead in these. 1.4892 0.03715 370 237 85 48
154 When you die on laundry day you don’t have a lot of options. 1.4891 0.03378 460 298 99 63
155 “All I said was ‘May God strike me dead if these aren’t the coolest pants ever’.” 1.4890 0.03936 362 241 65 56
156 I can safely rule out adultery 1.4888 0.03830 358 232 77 49
157 Any other sins besides crimes of fashion? 1.4870 0.03459 384 237 107 40
158 She said she’d kill me if I wore them in public. 1.4868 0.03481 417 267 97 53
159 Funny—my wife said these pants would be the death of HER. 1.4867 0.03650 339 208 97 34
160 I'm trying to look on the bright side, but I know I look like hell 1.4859 0.03790 319 197 89 33
161 My understanding is that you can forgive anything. 1.4853 0.03519 375 233 102 40
162 I was told that ALL my sins would be forgiven. 1.4845 0.03547 388 246 96 46
163 Well, I guess dead men DO wear plaid. 1.4842 0.03732 349 221 87 41
164 Do you by any chance know if I made that putt? 1.4841 0.03558 378 238 97 43
165 If I'd known that today would be the day, I would've worn something else. 1.4832 0.03334 416 259 113 44
166 Better checkered pants than a checkered past, right? 1.4813 0.03921 347 229 69 49
167 You must repent for your checkered past. 1.4812 0.03855 293 179 87 27
168 My wife will explain when she gets here. 1.4812 0.03519 372 232 101 39
169 She did say she'd kill me if I wore these again. 1.4809 0.03685 366 235 86 45
170 "I was dying, and my wife said those pants have to go also'" 1.4808 0.03600 391 253 88 50
171 I thought this was come as you are. 1.4806 0.03382 360 216 115 29
172 I thought we were doing this over Zoom. 1.4790 0.03857 357 236 71 50
173 Joseph was hesitant at first, but decided to embrace this new chapter of his life and wear his technicolor pants with confidence. “ 1.4777 0.03964 291 182 79 30
174 So, you were caught dead in those pants... 1.4764 0.04384 296 202 47 47
175 Mr. Rubik, I presume. 1.4757 0.04088 309 203 65 41
176 I was told all would be forgiven. 1.4753 0.03678 364 235 85 44
177 I’d assumed this would be on Zoom. 1.4744 0.03660 390 258 79 53
178 I was hoping you'd let me finish the round. 1.4743 0.03559 369 234 95 40
179 I was supposed to be on Zoom all day. 1.4731 0.03617 391 257 83 51
180 And you can’t think of a single thing you wish you could take back? 1.4731 0.03814 372 250 68 54
181 I thought they were killer pants. Little did I know. 1.4731 0.03736 334 212 86 36
182 I was serious when I said I'd rather die than part with these pants. 1.4722 0.04083 288 185 70 33
183 Turns out I was caught dead in these pants. 1.4700 0.03655 383 253 80 50
184 Mr. Rubik, party of one. 1.4699 0.03662 366 238 84 44
185 Tell Joseph his dry cleaner is here and I found the pants. 1.4698 0.04157 281 182 66 33
186 So it really was a sin to wear these to a wedding? 1.4697 0.03388 379 236 108 35
187 All I said was "If I ever got a hole in one, I'd drop dead on the spot" 1.4695 0.03761 328 209 84 35
188 So I said, "Let's head for the clubhouse and wait for the thunderstorm to pass." But my buddy said, "Just hold the flagstick and let me putt out first." 1.4690 0.03647 339 214 91 34
189 Hell sent me here. They have a dress code. 1.4681 0.03679 361 235 83 43
190 Well then maybe you shouldn't throw lightning bolts at golf courses. 1.4667 0.04218 270 175 64 31
191 It was a midlife crisis , not a mortal sin. 1.4659 0.03827 337 221 75 41
192 It's true. I do have a chequered past. 1.4658 0.03586 365 235 90 40
193 I could go home and change. 1.4656 0.03854 320 207 77 36
194 Now I’m caught dead wearing them? 1.4650 0.03873 329 216 73 40
195 Never guessed I'd be caught dead wearing these 1.4650 0.03849 329 215 75 39
196 Well that’s a crazy beard. 1.4649 0.04081 299 197 65 37
197 I didn't hear any complaints about Joseph's Coat of Many Colors! 1.4639 0.03768 360 240 73 47
198 I’m the afterlife of the party. 1.4637 0.04270 248 158 65 25
199 Guess I wore the "to die for" pants. 1.4627 0.03749 335 217 81 37
200 Who knew the fashion police would shoot to kill? 1.4624 0.04162 266 171 67 28
201 But it's only a fashion sin. 1.4618 0.03891 340 228 67 45
202 I was under the impression there would be golf. 1.4615 0.03907 325 215 70 40
203 How can ugly pants be a sin? 1.4589 0.03766 292 182 86 24
204 I told her I'd die of embarassment if she made me wear these. 1.4589 0.03914 316 208 71 37
205 My wife said she would kill me if I left the house wearing these. 1.4585 0.04280 253 164 62 27
206 You’re disappointed? I have to spend eternity in these pants. 1.4576 0.04138 271 176 66 29
207 I agree the pants may be a crime, but they are not a sin. 1.4574 0.03491 387 253 91 43
208 They go with the amazing technicolor dreamcoat. 1.4566 0.03636 346 224 86 36
209 Yes, fashion sins do count. 1.4564 0.03843 287 181 81 25
210 You caught me on wash day. 1.4559 0.03571 329 207 94 28
211 Finally built up the courage to wear these, and now I’m here. Figures. 1.4549 0.04317 244 158 61 25
212 I was told this would be over Zoom… 1.4549 0.04317 244 158 61 25
213 Can I stay in my Zoom pants? 1.4545 0.03840 297 190 79 28
214 Do you have any idea how long He's been looking for those? 1.4534 0.04240 247 159 64 24
215 When the time comes, can God make sure someone convinces Estelle to put on something she’ll just love wearing forever too? 1.4531 0.04094 256 163 70 23
216 Godly? I thought you said gaudy. 1.4528 0.03994 318 215 62 41
217 I thought it would be a Zoom meeting. 1.4528 0.04404 265 180 50 35
218 Long white robes! You got to be kidding. 1.4523 0.03912 283 181 76 26
219 I think Joseph has your jacket. 1.4519 0.04373 270 184 50 36
220 Sorry, I thought this was a Zoom meeting. 1.4507 0.04237 284 193 54 37
221 Nowhere in the literature does it mention a dress code. 1.4505 0.04053 293 195 64 34
222 I got caught dead wearing ‘these’? 1.4504 0.04204 262 172 62 28
223 Ten years in hell for playing at Mar-a-Lago. Another five for the pants. 1.4500 0.04400 260 176 51 33
224 I'm surprised the car didn't see you either. 1.4493 0.04759 227 155 42 30
225 I should be on the list. Rubik. 1.4490 0.04013 294 195 66 33
226 If I was made in your image, I'm guessing you've got a pair on as well. 1.4488 0.04277 283 194 51 38
227 I thought my wife was joking when she said if I ever wore this pants out in public she would kill me. 1.4487 0.04191 263 173 62 28
228 Can I just play through? 1.4482 0.03669 299 188 88 23
229 Aren't you supposed to judge me on my character? 1.4475 0.03580 324 206 91 27
230 Saint Laurent can vouch for me. 1.4473 0.04942 237 170 28 39
231 St. Peter, you should know that my wife picked out these pants. 1.4468 0.03951 282 183 72 27
232 Whaddaya saying? Dead men DO wear plaid 1.4464 0.04415 224 145 58 21
233 They may have been a crime, but last I checked, they were not a sin. 1.4462 0.03909 316 212 67 37
234 If they're inappropriate can I go home and change? 1.4437 0.04115 284 191 60 33
235 Well, excuse me for dying! I wasn't expecting Officer Peter of the Fashion Police. 1.4435 0.04299 248 164 58 26
236 After I said "over my dead body," the rest is kind of a blur. 1.4427 0.03794 314 207 75 32
237 The devil made me wear this. 1.4423 0.04188 260 172 61 27
238 It's not a sin, they were on sale. 1.4417 0.06351 120 81 25 14
239 Seriously, you pulled me off the 18th tee at 4 under par for this? 1.4410 0.04101 288 195 59 34
240 Please don’t judge me. 1.4404 0.04175 302 211 49 42
241 Well, so much for my lucky pants. 1.4401 0.04022 284 189 65 30
242 Why? There's nothing in the bible against plaid. 1.4400 0.04234 250 165 60 25
243 Are you sure you want to wear those pants for an eternity? 1.4389 0.04056 262 171 67 24
244 I thought this part was going to be on zoom. 1.4385 0.04291 260 176 54 30
245 I'm afraid your case is not as black and white as I initially thought. 1.4380 0.04101 258 169 65 24
246 But the other guy was wearing socks and sandals and he got in! 1.4380 0.04281 258 174 55 29
247 My last good deed was to take these with me. 1.4375 0.03983 272 178 69 25
248 in my defense it was casual Friday. 1.4375 0.04197 240 156 63 21
249 Lucky for you, it’s always casual Friday here. 1.4371 0.03668 302 194 84 24
250 A momentary decision I will regret for an eternity. 1.4371 0.04030 286 192 63 31
251 Really? A special place in fashion hell? I always thought my wife was just kidding. 1.4362 0.04281 243 161 58 24
252 Hell rejected me. 1.4361 0.04542 227 153 49 25
253 Just like you, I didn’t expect this.. I was on my way to do laundry when the accident happened 1.4358 0.04204 218 138 65 15
254 A crime against humanity seems a bit harsh...they're just my old golf pants. 1.4357 0.04101 241 155 67 19
255 The invitation said deceased casual 1.4354 0.04035 294 200 60 34
256 I was led to believe my sense of style was my saving grace. 1.4353 0.03864 255 161 77 17
257 Don’t judge me. 1.4353 0.03716 278 176 83 19
258 I said my decision was based on your checkered PAST" 1.4349 0.04182 269 182 57 30
259 Bad judgment!? Can you give me an example? 1.4349 0.03938 292 195 67 30
260 Angel wings? I'm going to look ridiculous" 1.4346 0.04060 283 191 61 31
261 Did your wife approve ... or is that why you're here? 1.4335 0.04183 263 177 58 28
262 OK, if you insist. But I’m not wearing underwear. 1.4328 0.04292 268 185 50 33
263 Sorry, but a fashion sin is still a sin. 1.4321 0.04357 243 164 53 26
264 It's what they buried me in. 1.4320 0.04074 250 163 66 21
265 You should have listened to your wife: 'Don't wear clothes you wouldn't be caught dead in' 1.4309 0.04239 246 164 58 24
266 I have an appointment with Jacob. 1.4307 0.03997 267 176 67 24
267 In my defense, I died on laundry day. 1.4307 0.03962 267 175 69 23
268 You are lucky! today is casual Friday. 1.4300 0.03895 293 196 68 29
269 And the last word I heard was “FORE”!!! 1.4300 0.04812 207 142 41 24
270 We try not to judge here but, seriously dude? 1.4298 0.04437 228 153 52 23
271 It’s my pants, isn’t it. 1.4298 0.04167 228 147 64 17
272 Forgive me, I thought this was a Zoom meeting. 1.4297 0.04278 249 168 55 26
273 Don't be so judgy. I'd love to see what YOU'RE wearing behind that podium. 1.4297 0.04075 263 175 63 25
274 I was just trying them on for a lark, said I wouldn't be caught dead in these, and... 1.4296 0.04201 270 185 54 31
275 Why yes, I was playing golf when I passed away. 1.4286 0.04010 252 164 68 20
276 I guess you WERE caught dead in those! 1.4286 0.04242 280 196 48 36
277 Sorry, I thought our meeting was going to be on Zoom. 1.4280 0.04150 250 166 61 23
278 Is it OK if I play through? 1.4279 0.04244 229 150 60 19
279 So now bad taste is a sin? 1.4274 0.04134 248 164 62 22
280 I swear to God, I thought it was a Zoom meeting. 1.4262 0.04352 237 160 53 24
281 I can lose them, but my underpants are embarrassing. 1.4261 0.04575 230 159 44 27
282 So when I said if I ever break par I would die happy I didn’t mean right then. 1.4256 0.04444 242 167 47 28
283 I think I've suffered enough. 1.4254 0.04412 228 156 48 24
284 Satan sent me up here and said he’d owe you one. 1.4252 0.04451 214 142 53 19
285 Tell Joseph I want my coat back. 1.4249 0.04228 273 190 50 33
286 Joseph, really, the coat was bad enough. 1.4246 0.04162 252 169 59 24
287 I heard crimes against fashion don't count. 1.4233 0.04532 215 145 49 21
288 Don't blame me -- YOU guys made me color blind. 1.4227 0.04314 220 145 57 18
289 Yeah, my wife said they were a sin too. 1.4227 0.04266 220 144 59 17
290 Joseph got the coat. 1.4215 0.04722 223 157 38 28
291 It was Pajama Day at work. 1.4215 0.04592 223 154 44 25
292 I was caught dead in these pants. 1.4213 0.04515 216 146 49 21
293 Lightning on the 17th hole. 1.4211 0.04259 247 168 54 25
294 I told them I wouldn't be caught dead in these pants and...well....here we are. 1.4208 0.04710 221 155 39 27
295 I meant to change before I died. 1.4206 0.04496 214 144 50 20
296 The last thing I remember is someone yelling 'Fore'! 1.4204 0.04323 245 168 51 26
297 But my country club lets me in wearing these. 1.4201 0.04277 219 144 58 17
298 Sorry, you caught me on laundry day. 1.4199 0.04167 231 152 61 18
299 I was shot by the fashion police. 1.4198 0.04575 212 144 47 21
300 Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride. Nothing about garishness. 1.4196 0.04487 224 153 48 23
301 Wait, they're actually a crime against humanity? 1.4194 0.04545 217 148 47 22
302 Where in the 10-Commandments mentions a Dress Code? 1.4191 0.03971 272 183 64 25
303 I would like to meet Piet Mondrian 1.4190 0.04299 210 137 58 15
304 There was nothing about dress code on the tablets. 1.4189 0.03828 265 173 73 19
305 But it worked for Joseph. 1.4188 0.04429 234 161 48 25
306 Harold planned for a different kind of stroke that day… 1.4184 0.04680 196 132 46 18
307 Why, Yes! I AM an NPR Contributor! 1.4182 0.04680 220 154 40 26
308 ...and that's why I was so reluctant about giving you guys 'free will'. 1.4180 0.04561 244 174 38 32
309 I know they say "you can't take it with you," but my wife insisted. 1.4179 0.04216 268 187 50 31
310 I said we can forgive your checkered past, not pants. 1.4178 0.04795 213 150 37 26
311 No, no, it was a crime of 'fashion.' 1.4178 0.04606 213 146 45 22
312 You’re right-I didn’t put it in the Ten Commandments. But I should’ve. 1.4178 0.04602 225 157 42 26
313 Dress for the Heaven you want,not the one you have. 1.4174 0.04386 218 146 53 19
314 Can I get wings to match? 1.4171 0.04736 199 136 43 20
315 My wife picked them out. She's already here. 1.4167 0.04511 216 147 48 21
316 Yeah, that's what my wife said, too. 1.4163 0.04099 221 143 64 14
317 Governor DeSantis dropped me here. 1.4155 0.04945 207 148 32 27
318 Just my luck I kick the bucket on laundry day. 1.4149 0.04331 241 166 50 25
319 Oh,and I suppose pearly gates aren’t flashy? 1.4149 0.04410 241 168 46 27
320 They said , it's come as you are. 1.4149 0.04451 188 122 54 12
321 Please. It was my only sin. 1.4148 0.04411 229 157 49 23
322 It wasn’t my idea. This is how they buried me. 1.4146 0.04457 246 174 42 30
323 I realize they're ugly but are they a sin? 1.4143 0.04451 210 141 51 18
324 My wife, Doris, warned me that if I wore these pants again, well...here I am. 1.4141 0.04305 227 153 54 20
325 It’s a fashion faux pas, not a mortal sin. 1.4139 0.04049 244 162 63 19
326 In my defense, I'm not wearing a striped shirt. 1.4138 0.04559 203 137 48 18
327 Please don’t tell me there’s a dress code. 1.4135 0.04322 208 137 56 15
328 Why, yes, my name IS Joseph. 1.4135 0.04683 208 144 42 22
329 I told my wife I wouldn't be caught dead in these pants. She took me up on it. 1.4133 0.04332 225 152 53 20
330 Go home. Change. THEN have your heart attack. 1.4132 0.04473 242 171 42 29
331 No, I said checkered past... . 1.4129 0.05006 201 144 31 26
332 Could you cut me some slacks " 1.4126 0.04169 223 147 60 16
333 Yes, I did say over my dead body. 1.4126 0.04584 223 156 42 25
334 No, I was in the fitting room. Why do you ask? 1.4113 0.04200 248 170 54 24
335 I was working from home. 1.4110 0.04098 236 157 61 18
336 You're gonna judge me, aren't you. 1.4104 0.04567 212 146 45 21
337 I'm sorry but it doesn't matter what else you've done. 1.4096 0.04042 271 187 57 27
338 With due respect, dead men are known to wear plaid. 1.4096 0.04694 188 127 45 16
339 I'd like a Special Master 1.4095 0.04696 210 147 40 23
340 I need a tie? 1.4088 0.05190 181 129 30 22
341 So my wife will recognize me. 1.4085 0.03978 213 136 67 10
342 Oh, I thought this would be a Zoom meeting. 1.4084 0.04142 262 182 53 27
343 I'm Harvey and his technicolor dream pants. 1.4082 0.04556 196 132 48 16
344 Can you tell Joseph that I have his pants. 1.4079 0.04375 228 157 49 22
345 And I said I would not be caught dead in these pants. 1.4078 0.04859 179 122 41 16
346 Supply chain issues. 1.4076 0.05007 184 129 35 20
347 Go ahead, make fun of the pants. It’s not gonna kill me. 1.4074 0.04299 243 169 49 25
348 Well, it's not my heaven without them. 1.4071 0.04447 226 157 46 23
349 Sigh. Ok, I’ll tell you the same thing I told Joseph. 1.4068 0.04662 177 120 43 14
350 I don't know anyone named Joseph. Why? 1.4061 0.04706 197 136 42 19
351 If it helps, I'm happy to tell you where I got them. 1.4059 0.04143 239 162 57 20
352 This is a tough one. Your life was mostly virtuous, but those pants are a sin. 1.4057 0.04245 244 169 51 24
353 No, these are cirrus clouds, not circus clouds. 1.4057 0.05002 175 121 37 17
354 I didn't think a person could actually die from embarrassment. 1.4057 0.04463 212 145 48 19
355 Speak up, I can’t hear you over your pants! 1.4054 0.04618 185 124 47 14
356 Sorry, and I always said I wouldn’t be found dead in these pants” 1.4053 0.04475 227 159 44 24
357 Pants: 20 years in purgatory . . . 1.4053 0.05001 190 135 33 22
358 I'll be the afterlife of the party. 1.4051 0.04332 195 128 55 12
359 Did the fashion police shoot you? 1.4049 0.04412 205 138 51 16
360 You didn’t give me time to change. 1.4049 0.03923 247 164 66 17
361 Turns out we do wear plaid. 1.4047 0.04268 215 144 55 16
362 I was obviously not aware I would wear it for eternity 1.4046 0.04243 262 186 46 30
363 But my wife said that they'd work everywhere. 1.4042 0.04254 240 166 51 23
364 It was a very liberal college. 1.4041 0.04660 193 132 44 17
365 The fashion police sent me. 1.4041 0.04775 193 134 40 19
366 I didn’t have time to change. 1.4034 0.04110 238 161 58 19
367 Quilty as charged. 1.4033 0.04687 181 122 45 14
368 Judge not, lest ye be judged. 1.4031 0.04514 191 128 49 14
369 So golfing is a sin? 1.4030 0.04581 201 138 45 18
370 I panicked at the disco. 1.4030 0.04526 201 137 47 17
371 My name's Rubik. Am I in? 1.4021 0.04755 194 135 40 19
372 When I bought ‘em I didn’t think I’d wear ‘em forever. 1.4016 0.04359 244 173 44 27
373 Sorry, I didn’t have time to pack. 1.4010 0.04453 202 137 49 16
374 So? You let Joseph in! 1.4009 0.04314 222 152 51 19
375 Yes, a golfer, but I never played with Trump. 1.4009 0.04544 222 157 41 24
376 I'm just curious why you didn't help me with that putt. 1.4000 0.04297 205 137 54 14
377 Joseph has the matching jacket Sir 1.4000 0.04670 205 144 40 21
378 Tell me more about your checkered past. 1.4000 0.04895 180 125 38 17
379 My only regret in life is I didn't wear them more 1.4000 0.04135 265 187 50 28
380 I thought poor judgement was forgiven 1.3991 0.04417 218 151 47 20
381 I've been to hell and back in these pants. 1.3990 0.04490 203 139 47 17
382 I got hell? Whatever for? 1.3989 0.04710 183 125 43 15
383 Well....you liked Joseph's coat. 1.3983 0.04173 236 162 54 20
384 Last thing I remember, these pants were killing me. 1.3982 0.04557 221 157 40 24
385 YOU can come in, but those are going straight to Hell! 1.3981 0.04196 216 145 56 15
386 ...I thought if I wore these you'd send me back. 1.3980 0.04630 201 140 42 19
387 It turns out Hell has a dress code. Any luck here? 1.3978 0.05073 186 134 30 22
388 I'm not sure I'll fit in. 1.3974 0.03886 229 150 67 12
389 I was not told there was a dress code. 1.3971 0.04344 209 142 51 16
390 Will there be quilting? 1.3970 0.04552 199 137 45 17
391 Well, since I’m here, perhaps you can settle an argument. Do these strike you as “god-awful”? 1.3966 0.05099 179 128 31 20
392 Oh, yeah? Well, are you even wearing any? 1.3966 0.04285 237 166 48 23
393 You be the judge.” 1.3962 0.04352 212 145 50 17
394 Your friends were right. You DON’T have the sense I gave you. 1.3962 0.04453 212 147 46 19
395 What else did you do in life Mr. Rubik? 1.3961 0.04426 207 142 48 17
396 It's even worse. They're bellbottoms! 1.3958 0.04896 192 137 34 21
397 I said checkered PAST, not pants. 1.3958 0.04668 192 133 42 17
398 This is what my wife buried me in. 1.3955 0.04751 177 121 42 14
399 Wait! I can change! 1.3955 0.04818 177 122 40 15
400 I hope golfing on Sunday isn’t a dealbreaker. 1.3953 0.05120 172 122 32 18
401 I thought this was a Zoom interview. 1.3953 0.04553 215 152 41 22
402 Please don't tell Joseph, I left the coat at the cleaners. 1.3950 0.04533 200 138 45 17
403 Tell Joseph I want my jacket back. 1.3950 0.04643 200 140 41 19
404 Let's not make this about my pants. 1.3947 0.04227 228 157 52 19
405 She was wrong when she said, "It won't it kill you to wear the pants your aunt made you." 1.3946 0.04669 185 127 43 15
406 Any other sins? Other than those pants? 1.3944 0.04486 213 149 44 20
407 I wanted to stand out in the cloud. 1.3943 0.04718 175 119 43 13
408 He's a forgiving God, but not that forgiving. 1.3941 0.05296 170 123 27 20
409 My only sin was against fashion. 1.3936 0.03931 249 169 62 18
410 Have you seen Joseph? I think he has my coat. 1.3930 0.04570 201 140 43 18
411 No, no, not a checkered past - checkered pants 1.3927 0.04099 219 147 58 14
412 And I said I'd never be caught dead with these pants on. 1.3927 0.04740 191 134 39 18
413 At least I had clean underwear on. 1.3923 0.04673 181 124 43 14
414 Look! If I’d known I’d be coming here directly from the golf course I would have worn different pants! 1.3923 0.04673 181 124 43 14
415 Hell wouldn't take me. 1.3922 0.04678 204 145 38 21
416 Unforgiveable. 1.3915 0.04408 189 127 50 12
417 I have a second pair, just in case I get a hole in one. 1.3915 0.04949 189 136 32 21
418 Well, my wife was wrong. She said nobody would be caught dead in these. 1.3913 0.04678 207 148 37 22
419 Yes, I know you’re not supposed to look up when someone yells ‘Fore!’ 1.3911 0.04968 179 127 34 18
420 You have a right to judge my soul but not my taste in fashion. 1.3906 0.04603 192 133 43 16
421 Mind if I play through? 1.3902 0.04395 205 141 48 16
422 When I said I wouldn't be caught dead wearing these pants, I wasn't being literal. 1.3899 0.04501 218 155 41 22
423 They didn't like them at the other place, either. 1.3899 0.04358 218 152 47 19
424 Joseph got the coat. I got the trousers. 1.3891 0.04210 239 168 49 22
425 Well, when you catch me in the middle of a golf game ... 1.3886 0.04404 193 131 49 13
426 Wanda said "those pants are to die for" and, well, here I am. 1.3886 0.04924 193 140 31 22
427 Thanks, they used to be part of a set. 1.3883 0.04419 188 127 49 12
428 The cartoonist ran out of ink 1.3882 0.05019 170 120 34 16
429 Please tell Joseph I'd like my coat back. 1.3880 0.04728 183 130 36 17
430 Erno Rubrik. 1.3880 0.04822 183 129 37 17
431 You'd think the car would've seen me. 1.3880 0.04822 183 129 37 17
432 I said checkered pants...your past is fine. 1.3874 0.04530 222 160 38 24
433 You died in 2022, but that look died in 1972." 1.3869 0.04650 199 141 39 19
434 I know I have a checkered past. 1.3867 0.04600 181 124 44 13
435 No plaid after Labor Day! 1.3865 0.04948 163 113 37 13
436 They're fire resistant. 1.3865 0.04519 207 146 42 19
437 They say the driver didn't see me. 1.3861 0.04266 202 137 52 13
438 I'm sorry. Those are godforsaken. 1.3861 0.05057 158 110 35 13
439 I died of shame 1.3858 0.04683 197 140 38 19
440 I was wondering whether Joseph still needed that coat. 1.3858 0.04339 197 134 50 13
441 Fashion purgatory!? 1.3857 0.04236 223 155 50 18
442 Well, I told my wife that if she made a hole in one I would drop dead. 1.3857 0.04558 223 162 36 25
443 What dress code? 1.3853 0.04103 218 148 56 14
444 Hello, I’m here to see Joseph about the coat he advertised online. 1.3846 0.04716 195 139 37 19
445 Is this somewhere over the rainbow? 1.3846 0.04501 208 147 42 19
446 At least they're not bell bottoms. 1.3843 0.04127 216 147 55 14
447 I said I would die for a pair of these pants so that's on me. 1.3842 0.04689 190 134 39 17
448 Well, the devil wore Prada. 1.3842 0.04689 190 134 39 17
449 Could you check under the name Rubik? 1.3842 0.04668 177 122 42 13
450 Thou shall not, like ever. 1.3841 0.05220 151 106 32 13
451 What do you mean, "Go to hell?" 1.3836 0.05347 146 103 30 13
452 Laundry day. 1.3830 0.05294 141 98 32 11
453 I agree that they're loud, but a sin? 1.3830 0.04539 188 130 44 14
454 The look on my wife's face when she saw the pants I bought scared me to death. 1.3829 0.04561 175 119 45 11
455 I did my level best to live a Kodachrome life in a monochrome world. 1.3824 0.04232 204 139 52 13
456 My only sins are against fashion 1.3821 0.04123 212 144 55 13
457 Well, I like them, so who are you to judge? 1.3818 0.04174 220 152 52 16
458 Have you seen a guy named Joseph? He has my coat... 1.3818 0.04974 165 116 35 14
459 It was dress-down Friday when it happened. 1.3814 0.04317 194 132 50 12
460 It's a crime, not a sin. 1.3810 0.05123 168 121 30 17
461 Says the guy wearing white after Labor Day? 1.3807 0.04818 176 124 37 15
462 But your book doesn't mention a dress code. 1.3807 0.04885 176 125 35 16
463 Sure, the funeral was cheap. Why do you ask? 1.3804 0.04604 184 128 42 14
464 Finally. Someone not dressed like they just came from a funeral. 1.3804 0.05035 184 135 28 21
465 I'm not supposed to be here, but Satan said 'Aw, hell no.' 1.3801 0.04987 171 122 33 16
466 ...and then I said "Those pants are to die for". So here I am. 1.3799 0.04488 179 122 46 11
467 Really? You have a dress code? 1.3798 0.04546 208 149 39 20
468 Evans. Noon Tee time. 1.3797 0.05127 158 112 32 14
469 Really? Poor taste is now a disqualifier? 1.3796 0.04472 216 155 40 21
470 DeSantis sent me. 1.3795 0.05166 166 120 29 17
471 My pastor didn't tell me there was a dress code. 1.3791 0.04571 182 126 43 13
472 Do you mind if I play through? 1.3791 0.05080 153 107 34 12
473 If you're waiting for the other members of your foursome, Senator Stanton, I'm afraid I have some bad news. 1.3789 0.04941 161 115 32 14
474 I asked you to be godly, not gaudy… big difference” 1.3788 0.04431 198 138 45 15
475 Hey, He made me in His image. 1.3787 0.04957 169 120 34 15
476 There is a dress code. 1.3784 0.04387 185 126 48 11
477 Excuse me, but I think it was YOU who made me colorblind. 1.3784 0.05199 148 104 32 12
478 I told intake I had a checkered past - they thought I said checkered pants. 1.3783 0.04090 230 160 53 17
479 I know dead men don't wear plaid but can you make an exception? 1.3775 0.05125 151 106 33 12
480 Checkered past? I thought you said you wanted to discuss my checkered pants. 1.3775 0.04502 204 145 41 18
481 I am a virgin, as you can probably tell. 1.3774 0.05254 159 115 28 16
482 Ironically, Ed my neighbor said to me just this morning that he wouldn’t be caught dead in these pants. 1.3774 0.04062 212 144 56 12
483 Looks like I can take them with me 1.3772 0.04544 167 113 45 9
484 Joseph says he wants his pants back. 1.3771 0.04764 175 123 38 14
485 My mother-in-law is a quilter 1.3770 0.04931 183 133 31 19
486 I knew they'd have an afterlife. 1.3770 0.04602 191 135 40 16
487 Table for one, please 1.3768 0.04401 207 146 44 17
488 I think Joseph has a matching coat… 1.3767 0.04483 215 155 39 21
489 Yes, these are the pants they buried me in” 1.3759 0.05401 133 93 30 10
490 They said checkered pants, not checkered past. 1.3756 0.04779 197 144 32 21
491 It all happened so fast...I didn't have time to change. 1.3756 0.04321 205 143 47 15
492 My pants? For God sake you let Joseph in with that horrible coat. 1.3750 0.04877 176 126 34 16
493 Bowling, yes. How did you know? 1.3750 0.04459 176 120 46 10
494 I says here you were a used-car salesman. Is that correct? 1.3750 0.05151 160 115 30 15
495 What do you mean, no plaid? 1.3744 0.04235 203 140 50 13
496 Cover charge AND dress code? 1.3743 0.04685 179 126 39 14
497 They wouldn’t let me in downstairs either. 1.3742 0.05190 155 111 30 14
498 They said there'd be golf here. 1.3737 0.04595 198 142 38 18
499 Couldn't you have let me sink the putt? 1.3736 0.04563 182 127 42 13
500 Is there golf up there? 1.3736 0.04563 182 127 42 13
501 So, just white then? 1.3736 0.04847 174 124 35 15
502 So everyone WAS lying when they said they loved the pants. 1.3735 0.04790 166 116 38 12
503 It's not that we don't allow golfers, per se... 1.3731 0.04443 193 135 44 14
504 Good god, I never thought a fashion sin would count! 1.3725 0.04549 204 147 38 19
505 Laundry day. Just my luck. 1.3723 0.04648 188 134 38 16
506 I'll let you in if you tell me where you got those. 1.3723 0.04460 188 131 44 13
507 Liar,liar,pants on fire! 1.3714 0.05104 140 97 34 9
508 I wouldn’t be caught alive in these pants 1.3713 0.04415 202 143 43 16
509 What pants? 1.3711 0.05091 159 114 31 14
510 Satan said to try you again. 1.3711 0.04932 159 112 35 12
511 Lucky" pants, my ass 1.3706 0.04780 170 120 37 13
512 What if I promise to sit in the back? 1.3704 0.04362 216 155 42 19
513 Needless to say, I have a checkered past. 1.3704 0.04313 216 154 44 18
514 No thanks! Just looking for my ball. 1.3701 0.04783 154 106 39 9
515 I’m really not allowed in? Is it the pants? 1.3700 0.04272 200 139 48 13
516 That's how they buried you? 1.3699 0.04577 173 120 42 11
517 I thought these pants were to die for. 1.3692 0.04345 195 136 46 13
518 I'd like a final word with my caddie.” 1.3692 0.04633 214 159 31 24
519 I literally died of embarrassment. 1.3691 0.04888 149 103 37 9
520 When I saw these pants on sale I thought I had died and gone to heaven 1.3689 0.04512 206 149 38 19
521 Okay, it's a fashion crime. I didn't think it counted. 1.3689 0.04297 206 145 46 15
522 I was surprised that I could still fit in them. Next whata you know, I'm here. 1.3688 0.05173 141 99 32 10
523 So yeah, long story short, it turns out these pants really were to die for. 1.3687 0.04937 179 131 30 18
524 What? They were on sale. 1.3687 0.04327 179 122 48 9
525 Hell said they wouldn't take me in these. 1.3684 0.04484 190 134 42 14
526 Not with those pants you're not. 1.3684 0.05254 152 110 28 14
527 Maybe it wouldn’t have killed me to put on a decent pair of pants. 1.3681 0.04814 182 132 33 17
528 Is there a golf course? 1.3679 0.04555 193 138 39 16
529 They are my only real sin. 1.3677 0.04845 155 108 37 10
530 It wasn't a sin in the 80s! 1.3676 0.05504 136 98 26 12
531 They said I can't go there either. 1.3676 0.04631 185 132 38 15
532 It originally came with a dream coat. 1.3676 0.04631 185 132 38 15
533 I had no idea certain fashion mistakes could be fatal. 1.3671 0.04334 207 147 44 16
534 You look like fun 1.3669 0.05017 139 96 35 8
535 I still don't understand. Paradise has a dress code? 1.3669 0.04794 169 120 36 13
536 What if I were to lose the pants? 1.3667 0.04587 180 127 40 13
537 I got em on sale. Why? 1.3667 0.04235 180 122 50 8
538 My wife insisted I be buried in these. 1.3665 0.04705 191 139 34 18
539 Those pants look like Hell! 1.3665 0.05114 161 117 29 15
540 I caused a seven car accident while crossing an intersection. 1.3665 0.05190 161 118 27 16
541 I didn't realize how much my wife hated these pants. 1.3664 0.05653 131 95 24 12
542 They're "after the fall" colors. 1.3663 0.05013 172 126 29 17
543 I’ll admit I have a checkered past” 1.3660 0.04594 194 140 37 17
544 I never knew fashion sins would count. 1.3657 0.04606 175 123 40 12
545 Im not dead. I'm just looking for my golf ball. 1.3654 0.05231 156 114 27 15
546 I just assumed you would have golf courses here. 1.3654 0.03922 208 141 58 9
547 I'm sorry Peter, but I lost my sense of taste with my Covid." 1.3654 0.05071 156 112 31 13
548 God forbid I bring some style to this place. 1.3653 0.04832 167 119 35 13
549 My greatest sin is wearing these pants in public. 1.3653 0.04361 167 113 47 7
550 Yeah, I'm his cousin. I got the pants of many colors. 1.3651 0.04680 189 137 35 17
551 To err is human … 1.3643 0.05190 140 99 31 10
552 What do you mean there's no golf course? This is Heaven right? 1.3642 0.05102 151 108 31 12
553 Didn’t know looks COULD kill. 1.3642 0.04926 151 106 35 10
554 You couldn’t have struck down the player 2 strokes ahead of me? 1.3642 0.04935 162 116 33 13
555 You know I was about to tee off right? 1.3642 0.04696 162 113 39 10
556 I was wondering if I could get a matching Halo. 1.3636 0.04527 187 133 40 14
557 That's where I just came from. He sent me up here. 1.3631 0.05025 168 123 29 16
558 I had hoped to be playing golf this afternoon 1.3627 0.04176 193 133 50 10
559 I have a colorful but checkered past. 1.3626 0.04478 182 128 42 12
560 Mr. Rubik, it says here you caused millions of people to waste a lot of time. 1.3626 0.04819 171 123 34 14
561 They kicked me out of Hell for wearing these pants. 1.3626 0.05230 171 129 22 20
562 They got me into Studio 54. 1.3625 0.05207 160 118 26 16
563 It was either these or skinny jeans 1.3625 0.04975 160 115 32 13
564 I'm not one to judge.... 1.3624 0.04968 149 105 34 10
565 I found them in purgatory 1.3624 0.05147 149 107 30 12
566 I’m not staying. Some guy named Joseph borrowed the matching coat and I’m just getting it back. 1.3623 0.04104 207 144 51 12
567 Can I play through? 1.3621 0.04618 174 123 39 12
568 None of my final wishes were followed. 1.3620 0.04832 163 116 35 12
569 So what if it's Judgment Day? I don't judge your hairstyle. 1.3617 0.04507 188 134 40 14
570 Well, no one told me there was a dress code. 1.3617 0.04856 141 97 37 7
571 Dead men don't wear plaid. 1.3614 0.04920 166 120 32 14
572 I hope you brought your own golf balls. 1.3614 0.04846 166 119 34 13
573 I like to make a strong last impression. 1.3611 0.04789 144 99 38 7
574 Is it true, if I wear these, my kid can get into Princeton? 1.3611 0.05271 144 104 28 12
575 I've led a colorful life. 1.3611 0.04370 180 125 45 10
576 Then she said "Those pants are so loud,you couldn't hear an ambulance if it was about to hit you!" 1.3608 0.05017 158 114 31 13
577 God forbid you wear those pants in public," she said.. 1.3605 0.05283 147 107 27 13
578 I understood this would be Casual Eternity. 1.3605 0.04796 172 124 34 14
579 She wanted me to wear something "more appropriate." I said, "over my dead body." 1.3598 0.05109 164 121 27 16
580 Hey, look! Our shirts match! 1.3596 0.04747 178 129 34 15
581 But these are my lucky pants 1.3596 0.04679 178 128 36 14
582 Is it possible for me to play through? 1.3595 0.05047 153 110 31 12
583 I plaid guilty, your honor 1.3592 0.05414 142 104 25 13
584 unfortunately the sin of those trousers overrides your humanitarian work. 1.3591 0.04690 181 131 35 15
585 Some sartorial sins are unforgivable, my son. 1.3590 0.05220 156 115 26 15
586 Let me guess - You wouldn't take the penalty stroke when it rolled into the gator-infested pond, am I right? 1.3587 0.04823 184 136 30 18
587 Those look like hell to me! 1.3586 0.05241 145 105 28 12
588 So your problem isn't with the pattern, but just the polyester? 1.3586 0.05149 145 104 30 11
589 Welcome, Mr Jones. Your foursome is waiting on the first tee. 1.3585 0.04990 159 115 31 13
590 The sales clerk did say,"those pants kill." 1.3585 0.04990 159 115 31 13
591 I died in the 70s. I spent 50 years in purgatory. 1.3583 0.05650 120 86 25 9
592 I don’t believe in khakis. 1.3583 0.04118 187 128 51 8
593 Hmm...pants to match your past, I see. 1.3582 0.04577 201 148 34 19
594 Well of course they’re pajamas. Your people said the initial interview would be done remotely. 1.3581 0.04599 148 101 41 6
595 what do you mean there’s no golfing here?! 1.3580 0.04924 162 117 32 13
596 You were on the list, but I can't in good conscience let you in wearing those. 1.3576 0.04422 165 116 40 9
597 The funeral director and I were not exactly best friends. 1.3571 0.05371 140 102 26 12
598 Dress code? They said the same thing at the other place! 1.3571 0.05103 154 112 29 13
599 Anyone happen to turn in a matching jacket? 1.3567 0.04437 171 119 43 9
600 These got me into Augusta. 1.3567 0.04783 157 111 36 10
601 My life was all about balance- business on the top and party on the bottom 1.3566 0.05195 143 103 29 11
602 I'm just playing through. 1.3563 0.04386 174 121 44 9
603 These pants are the only crime I committed 1.3559 0.04482 177 125 41 11
604 Excuse me, is this the back 9? 1.3558 0.04975 163 119 30 14
605 I made Joseph's coat of many colors. Can you tell him his pants are ready 1.3558 0.04898 163 118 32 13
606 It was the pants, wasn't? 1.3556 0.04768 180 132 32 16
607 Seriously? This is where you draw the line? 1.3554 0.04910 166 121 31 14
608 Ernõ Rubik here, Sir. 1.3554 0.05852 121 89 21 11
609 Were you expecting a fig leaf? 1.3553 0.04584 197 145 34 18
610 What, there's a dress code? 1.3553 0.04975 152 109 32 11
611 Sure. Put me down as 'Retired.' 1.3551 0.05325 138 100 27 11
612 You are on the list. I have you bunking with Joseph. 1.3551 0.05423 138 101 25 12
613 What? Too much? 1.3550 0.04699 169 121 36 12
614 Oh thank heavens, I just got out of disco purgatory. 1.3550 0.04699 169 121 36 12
615 I don't care if you invented the rubik cube, you still can't wear those. 1.3548 0.04734 155 109 37 9
616 The guy said, "Your pants or your life" but I STILL GOT THE PANTS BABY! 1.3548 0.04907 155 111 33 11
617 We don't judge people by the color of their skin, but the color of those pants are another story. 1.3547 0.04642 172 123 37 12
618 I'm with Clowns For Christ. 1.3544 0.04842 158 113 34 11
619 A little judgy, aren’t we! 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
620 The devil made me do it 1.3540 0.05243 161 121 23 17
621 So it's actually Hell that's 'come as you are.' 1.3539 0.04737 178 130 33 15
622 We're out of white robes so your only option is the lost and found. 1.3539 0.04316 178 124 45 9
623 Not with those pants. 1.3537 0.05270 147 108 26 13
624 I didn't know the fashion police actually carried guns 1.3537 0.05270 147 108 26 13
625 This is cloud nine, not the back nine. 1.3537 0.05090 147 106 30 11
626 They were a Christmas gift. So, in a way, it's your son's fault. 1.3534 0.05767 133 100 19 14
627 Sorry I'm late. The undertaker couldn't find a matching jacket. 1.3533 0.05018 150 108 31 11
628 In my case, things aren't always black or white. 1.3533 0.04743 150 105 37 8
629 Did someone put me up to what? 1.3533 0.04735 167 120 35 12
630 I said I'd rather die than donate my lucky golf pants. 1.3533 0.04811 167 121 33 13
631 My outfit killed at the course today. 1.3529 0.05575 136 101 22 13
632 Well, my wife always said I could wear these in hell but looks like she was wrong about that too. 1.3526 0.04267 190 134 45 11
633 I’d like to speak to your supervisor. 1.3525 0.04882 139 97 35 7
634 The first thing I want is a head of hair like that. 1.3521 0.05307 142 104 26 12
635 Have you seen my coat? 1.3520 0.04580 179 129 37 13
636 We can overlook your checkered past, but not those pants. 1.3519 0.04754 162 116 35 11
637 There's no dress code, and it's technically not a sin, but it's against my better judgment to let you in. 1.3512 0.04787 168 122 33 13
638 So close, man. So close. 1.3511 0.05074 131 92 32 7
639 Can I have a few minutes to finish the laundry? 1.3509 0.04653 171 123 36 12
640 I know Joseph with the technicolor dream coat is up here. Can you let him know his nephew Morris with the pants of many colors is here at the Gate? 1.3506 0.05255 154 115 24 15
641 Yes, well, 'helluva look' was a figure of speech. 1.3506 0.04809 174 128 31 15
642 At least I was caught dead wearing these. 1.3504 0.04924 137 96 34 7
643 So judgy 1.3500 0.05061 140 100 31 9
644 That 16th hole was a killer. 1.3500 0.05632 120 87 24 9
645 If I knew this was going to happen today, I would’ve made different choices. 1.3500 0.04708 160 114 36 10
646 These...? For all of eternity? 1.3497 0.04649 163 116 37 10
647 Hell no. 1.3493 0.05106 146 106 29 11
648 They got me into Willow Creek Country Club! 1.3491 0.04980 169 126 27 16
649 I admit, it's a bit checkered. 1.3487 0.04692 152 107 37 8
650 I did not mean it! I would not rather die than wear these pants! 1.3485 0.05587 132 98 22 12
651 The last thing I remember is her asking me if I wanted to be buried “in those damn pants.” 1.3484 0.04980 155 113 30 12
652 I thought all I caught was disco fever. 1.3484 0.04980 155 113 30 12
653 Checkered past? No, just the pants. 1.3481 0.05077 135 96 31 8
654 I can't wear these? Forget it then. 1.3481 0.04994 158 116 29 13
655 Hello Peter, I’m Joseph. Have you seen my Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat? 1.3481 0.04829 158 114 33 11
656 I have a checkered past. 1.3478 0.04927 161 118 30 13
657 Can you believe I was still hit by a bus? 1.3478 0.05929 115 85 20 10
658 I must have dyed and gone to Heaven. 1.3476 0.04625 187 138 33 16
659 Why would the pants have anything to do with it? 1.3476 0.04544 164 116 39 9
660 Guess I got caught dead 1.3476 0.04705 164 118 35 11
661 Your Tee Time is 10:00 am. 1.3476 0.04784 164 119 33 12
662 He sent me back up here. I have no idea why. 1.3473 0.04947 167 124 28 15
663 I want my Wife to recognize me when her turn is up. 1.3472 0.04860 144 102 34 8
664 As you can see I have a bit of a checkered past. 1.3471 0.04665 170 123 35 12
665 You’re not on Zoom anymore. 1.3471 0.04436 170 120 41 9
666 I've been guilty of bad taste. 1.3468 0.04148 173 119 48 6
667 I thought there would be golf courses. 1.3468 0.04608 173 125 36 12
668 I was told life isn't black and white. 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
669 Sorry. No one told me about the clothes exception to 'You can't take it with you.' 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
670 Wait, I thought sucking at golf WAS purgatory! 1.3465 0.05405 127 92 26 9
671 Sorry. I was dressed for Zoom. 1.3464 0.04847 153 110 33 10
672 Your wife says to send you back to change your pants. 1.3462 0.04649 182 134 33 15
673 I thought I'd dress for either destination. 1.3462 0.04868 156 113 32 11
674 Let me guess, Joseph's expanded his technicolor line to pants. 1.3459 0.04967 159 117 29 13
675 With all due respect, Saint Peter, there's a small but crucial error in that report on me. I have checkered PANTS, not a checkered PAST." 1.3459 0.04804 159 115 33 11
676 You might not know my name, but you'll remember these pants! 1.3459 0.04635 159 113 37 9
677 But everyone down there kept telling me there was a special place in Heaven for people like me. 1.3459 0.04804 159 115 33 11
678 Just so that you know... Your putt went right in. 1.3457 0.04666 188 140 31 17
679 Sorry I had to interrupt your golf game. 1.3457 0.04901 162 119 30 13
680 'I'm a descendant of Joseph but without the coat." 1.3457 0.04742 162 117 34 11
681 Of course there’s a dress code. 1.3456 0.05258 136 99 27 10
682 It would be a simple decision but for the pants. 1.3448 0.04832 145 103 34 8
683 To err is human, but those pants are unforgivable. 1.3448 0.05305 145 108 24 13
684 Is there a place for Rubik's Cube aficionados? 1.3446 0.04532 177 128 37 12
685 Well, I didn’t plan to die in these. 1.3446 0.04460 177 127 39 11
686 My wife always said if I didn't throw these out, she'd throw them out with me. 1.3446 0.05138 148 109 27 12
687 What Eleventh Commandment? 1.3444 0.05402 151 115 20 16
688 You can't judge me for being concerned that I'm the only one in line. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
689 Well, it’s obvious what your Original Sin is. 1.3441 0.04445 186 135 38 13
690 What happened to judging me by the content of my character rather than by the garishness of my gaberdines. 1.3440 0.05029 125 90 28 7
691 No one told me there's a dress code. 1.3439 0.04671 157 112 36 9
692 But this IS dressing for the occasion! 1.3438 0.04611 160 114 37 9
693 Well, I wasn't a standout, but I stood out. 1.3438 0.05810 128 97 18 13
694 so, you’re okay with my checkered past? 1.3438 0.05019 160 119 27 14
695 I didn't realize Grandma would be so angry about the quilt. 1.3436 0.05028 163 122 26 15
696 I'm looking for a Mr. Mondrian. 1.3435 0.05501 131 97 23 11
697 I blame Zoom 1.3435 0.05711 131 99 19 13
698 Red isn't the only color bulls hate. 1.3434 0.04433 198 146 36 16
699 I could hurry back and get something more suitable 1.3434 0.04134 198 141 46 11
700 I'd love to show you the matching jacket if you don't mind sending me back down to grab it. 1.3434 0.04658 166 120 35 11
701 What if I tell you I saw a camel pass through the eye of a needle? 1.3434 0.04736 166 121 33 12
702 Boogie fever. Turns out it was fatal. 1.3433 0.04867 134 94 34 6
703 I told my wife the pants she picked out would be the death of me. 1.3433 0.05201 134 97 28 9
704 Waldo, I presume? 1.3429 0.05438 140 105 22 13
705 It was a closed casket funeral. 1.3429 0.04620 140 97 38 5
706 In my defense, .... I played golf. 1.3429 0.04508 140 96 40 4
707 Would paisley have been better? 1.3427 0.05354 143 107 23 13
708 I know what your used to, but at the Pearly Gates, we don't do Zoom. 1.3425 0.04998 146 106 30 10
709 This is not what I meant by joyful noise 1.3425 0.04902 146 105 32 9
710 No, I don’t have any regrets. 1.3425 0.05091 146 107 28 11
711 Have you seen my coat of many colors? 1.3421 0.04860 152 110 32 10
712 Well, I did take His name in vain after I missed the hole-in-one. Other than that, I can't think of any. 1.3419 0.04966 155 114 29 12
713 Sooner or later, we all have to answer for our fashion choices. 1.3419 0.04617 155 110 37 8
714 Satan took one look and sent me back here, that's why! 1.3418 0.04816 158 115 32 11
715 All your sins will be forgiven....except those pants. 1.3418 0.04816 158 115 32 11
716 It was laundry day. 1.3416 0.04048 161 109 49 3
717 Really. I was thinking more of a faux pas than a fashion sin. 1.3416 0.04835 161 118 31 12
718 I was golfing when you made the call. 1.3416 0.04194 202 146 43 13
719 The matching dreamcoat was at the cleaners when you summoned me. 1.3415 0.04693 164 119 34 11
720 Where you're going, 'happy pants' won't make a difference. 1.3413 0.05305 126 91 27 8
721 Why not? I got into Yale! 1.3411 0.05103 129 92 30 7
722 I wanted to make a strong first impression. 1.3410 0.04216 173 121 45 7
723 You mean fashion sins count? 1.3407 0.05169 135 98 28 9
724 You'll have to forgive me; I dressed for Purgatory 1.3406 0.05294 138 102 25 11
725 I thought I'd live a little. 1.3406 0.04769 138 97 35 6
726 ..er..is Purgatory still open? 1.3406 0.05294 138 102 25 11
727 I don’t suppose you have anything matching in a 42 short 1.3404 0.05214 141 104 26 11
728 Be an angel and change those pants. 1.3404 0.05116 141 103 28 10
729 Oh, yeah? But a dreamcoat was fine? 1.3403 0.05322 144 108 23 13
730 I was told I look like Hell but I thought I’d try here first. 1.3403 0.05136 144 106 27 11
731 Why yes, I do have a checkered past, why do you ask? 1.3399 0.04921 153 112 30 11
732 Okay,so I had a checkered past. 1.3399 0.05008 153 113 28 12
733 My wife talked me out of the paisley shirt. Be sure to log that. 1.3396 0.04873 159 117 30 12
734 Due to high demand in the fashionista section,we can only place you with the clown golfers . 1.3395 0.04479 162 115 39 8
735 Plead to get in?! I thought they said, ‘Plaid to get in!’ 1.3391 0.05778 115 85 21 9
736 I'll admit, it's not the most intelligent design. 1.3391 0.05508 115 83 25 7
737 Harley. Harley Quinn. 1.3391 0.04856 174 131 27 16
738 I see you have a checkered past 1.3390 0.05674 118 87 22 9
739 The good news first? The pants can stay. 1.3390 0.04660 177 131 32 14
740 You didn't have a problem with Joseph's amazing technicolor dreamcoat. 1.3390 0.04449 177 128 38 11
741 Hi, I’m back. Satan said they clashed with his decor. 1.3388 0.05696 121 90 21 10
742 But, why are golfers only admitted downstairs? 1.3387 0.05478 124 91 24 9
743 I have a reservation under 'Rubik". 1.3386 0.05614 127 95 21 11
744 Actually, that’s the least of my sins. 1.3386 0.05387 127 93 25 9
745 My wife’s revenge. 1.3385 0.05520 130 97 22 11
746 I thought the judging would end when I got here. 1.3383 0.05431 133 99 23 11
747 I never thought I’d make it here or I would have worn a suit and tie. 1.3382 0.05738 136 105 16 15
748 How was I supposed to know clown pants are a mortal sin? 1.3381 0.05360 139 104 23 12
749 Do you have early tee times? 1.3381 0.05060 139 101 29 9
750 So, your wife is a quilter? 1.3380 0.05278 142 106 24 12
751 My wife assured me there was now way in hell I could wear these pants. 1.3380 0.05464 142 108 20 14
752 In those pants? Don’t even think about it. 1.3379 0.05012 145 106 29 10
753 Of course I’d die on laundry day… 1.3379 0.05380 145 110 21 14
754 Oh, yeah...well your robe isn't exactly haute couture either! 1.3378 0.04847 148 107 32 9
755 A fashion crime is not exactly a sin. 1.3377 0.04627 154 110 36 8
756 Yes, my life was checkered. 1.3377 0.04894 154 113 30 11
757 I thought this was a judgment free zone. 1.3374 0.04623 163 118 35 10
758 Is it too late to make a return?” 1.3374 0.04940 163 122 27 14
759 At least I’m wearing some. 1.3373 0.04234 166 116 44 6
760 I'm hoping the pants get me sympathy points. 1.3371 0.04016 175 121 49 5
761 Yes, your pants are very nice. But we still require a jacket. 1.3371 0.04695 175 130 31 14
762 I’m ready to show my true colors. 1.3371 0.04054 178 124 48 6
763 Pearly gates? Angels? No, wrong cloud buddy, we do data storage here. 1.3370 0.04650 181 135 31 15
764 Access denied, smarty pants. 1.3363 0.05567 113 82 24 7
765 I didn’t ask to be color blind. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
766 The scripture said ‘comfy casual.’ 1.3361 0.05411 122 89 25 8
767 I see you’ve had a colorful and checkered past. 1.3361 0.05473 122 92 20 10
768 What do you mean 'go back and change'? 1.3360 0.05441 125 92 24 9
769 Joseph and my pants of many colors. 1.3359 0.05351 128 94 25 9
770 I mean, the pants alone are enough to keep you out of here. 1.3358 0.05074 134 97 29 8
771 Getting kind of a judgy vibe from you right now, to be honest. 1.3358 0.05499 134 101 21 12
772 God forbid I bring a little pizzazz to this place. 1.3358 0.05074 134 97 29 8
773 You’re laughing but these pants got triple digit likes. 1.3358 0.04835 137 100 29 8
774 Well, I don't think they're hellish-looking at all. 1.3358 0.05411 137 103 22 12
775 I had always heard that dead men don't wear plaid. 1.3357 0.05327 140 105 23 12
776 My granddaughter thinks they're dope. 1.3357 0.05029 140 102 29 9
777 You can’t possibly think I could have committed adultery even if I tried. 1.3357 0.04926 140 101 31 8
778 I thought this meeting would be on Zoom. 1.3357 0.04957 143 104 30 9
779 And they say you can't take it with you! 1.3356 0.05169 146 109 25 12
780 Single, but I'm willing to be part of a foursome. 1.3356 0.04689 146 104 35 7
781 I’m sorry, it was laundry day… 1.3356 0.04627 149 106 36 7
782 Sorry, I didn't have time to change. 1.3355 0.04662 152 109 35 8
783 Just because of these pants? 1.3355 0.04602 155 111 36 8
784 Can I get multicolored wings? 1.3355 0.04781 155 113 32 10
785 I just happened to die on casual friday 1.3354 0.04740 161 118 32 11
786 I've never been sure about reincarnation, but yes, I was hoping you'd tell me to go back and change. 1.3353 0.04716 170 126 31 13
787 Couldn't you have waited a couple of minutes? I was about to make par for the first time. 1.3351 0.04310 185 134 40 11
788 Sorry - those are unforgivable. 1.3333 0.04954 162 122 26 14
789 Is that what you want to wear for eternity? 1.3333 0.05043 135 98 29 8
790 A vote against me is a vote against my mother. 1.3333 0.04424 186 137 36 13
791 But I cured three diseases and gave millions to charity. 1.3333 0.05248 123 89 27 7
792 They wouldn't take me in Hell. 1.3333 0.05106 162 124 22 16
793 Is is the pants? I'll change! 1.3333 0.05177 138 102 26 10
794 Is it okay if my caddie joins me? 1.3333 0.04885 150 110 30 10
795 They said there was golf. 1.3333 0.04841 156 115 30 11
796 Luckily your wife is not the authority on what is and is not a mortal sin. 1.3333 0.05616 123 92 21 10
797 I was told to "Come as you are". 1.3333 0.04762 147 106 33 8
798 Sorry, I thought it said checkered past. 1.3333 0.04467 171 124 37 10
799 If they're a problem I can lose the pants. 1.3333 0.05164 126 91 28 7
800 Please reserve judgement until I get changed. 1.3333 0.04608 159 115 35 9
801 I was assuming Paradise would involve golf. 1.3333 0.05151 135 99 27 9
802 I believe the penalty for going out of bounds is merely stroke and distance. 1.3333 0.04988 123 87 31 5
803 The shirt is sackcloth 1.3333 0.05539 129 97 21 11
804 I hit a killer drive. 1.3333 0.05215 144 108 24 12
805 They’re stained glass. 1.3333 0.05341 132 98 24 10
806 Excuse me. I'm looking for my foursome. Isn't this the first hole? 1.3315 0.04627 178 133 31 14
807 I was summoned unexpectedly. 1.3314 0.04498 169 123 36 10
808 ''A dress code? Are you serious.'' 1.3313 0.04752 160 118 31 11
809 I see you have quite the checkered past. 1.3312 0.04519 154 110 37 7
810 So they're not a SIN but you're going to have to change before you can visit the restaurant 1.3312 0.04880 154 114 29 11
811 My wife bet me you’d send me back to change my pants. 1.3311 0.04925 148 109 29 10
812 Lucky for you She’s color blind. 1.3311 0.04925 148 109 29 10
813 Was it really necessary to take me on the 17th hole? 1.3310 0.04596 145 103 36 6
814 Nobody told me that fashion sins count. 1.3310 0.04800 145 105 32 8
815 Heaven doesn’t mean no dress code. 1.3310 0.05184 145 109 24 12
816 Don we now our gay apparel.” 1.3310 0.04996 145 107 28 10
817 God is love, and love is blind... fortunately. 1.3310 0.05069 142 105 27 10
818 Someone once told me that they wouldn't be caught dead in these pants, yet here I am. 1.3309 0.05721 139 109 14 16
819 I was hoping I could take them with me. 1.3309 0.04722 139 99 34 6
820 I stored my pictures in the cloud,and now I can't find them. 1.3309 0.05528 136 104 19 13
821 It just wouldn't be Heaven without my lucky pants. 1.3308 0.05517 133 101 20 12
822 At least you're wearing pants. Go to heaven, son. 1.3307 0.05130 127 92 28 7
823 Used car salesman ... take the elevator down. 1.3306 0.05213 124 90 27 7
824 I thought these might cheer Him up. 1.3305 0.05457 118 89 20 9
825 It was a fashion crime, not a sin! 1.3304 0.05757 115 86 20 9
826 Until just a minute ago I was the life of the party. 1.3303 0.05538 109 79 24 6
827 Lucky for you, sins against fashion don't count. 1.3296 0.04536 179 133 33 13
828 Actually, I’m just here to see Joseph. 1.3294 0.04777 170 128 28 14
829 Yes. I was the inventor of the Rubik's Cube. Is that a devilish crime? 1.3293 0.04530 167 122 35 10
830 Saint Peter? I was looking for Saint Andrew. 1.3293 0.04586 164 120 34 10
831 They got me into Mar-a-Lago. 1.3290 0.04939 155 116 27 12
832 No jacket no entry? I gave the jacket to Joseph! 1.3290 0.04853 155 115 29 11
833 No, I said I regretted my checkered PAST 1.3289 0.04920 152 113 28 11
834 Can you believe the pants my wife picked out for my funeral? I told her you can dress me over my dead body. 1.3289 0.04830 152 112 30 10
835 Proof I lived every day like it was my last. 1.3289 0.04708 149 108 33 8
836 It appears these are now my unlucky pants. 1.3288 0.05153 146 110 24 12
837 Can you look again? They said I'd be on the list. 1.3287 0.04940 143 105 29 9
838 My wife was blind with grief. 1.3286 0.05311 140 106 22 12
839 Do what you will. I made my choices. 1.3285 0.05087 137 101 27 9
840 Does playing in charity golf tournaments count? 1.3284 0.05165 134 99 26 9
841 Did you happen to see my ball? 1.3284 0.05056 134 98 28 8
842 Ah yes, lighting on the golf course. Welcome. 1.3282 0.05358 131 98 23 10
843 Cause I owe my soul to the company store. 1.3281 0.05216 128 94 26 8
844 I get the feeling that your Sunday mornings weren’t spent in church 1.3279 0.05985 122 95 14 13
845 Wrong vibe?” 1.3277 0.05737 119 90 19 10
846 A bit judge-y,don’t you think? 1.3277 0.05217 119 86 27 6
847 It was a golf cart. I thought it was safe to text. 1.3275 0.04454 171 125 36 10
848 Can I take a mulligan? 1.3273 0.04138 165 116 44 5
849 I've smited people for lesser sins than those pants. 1.3273 0.05792 110 82 20 8
850 I know the book says now is my time, but can I get a few more months? Sweater weather is my jam. 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
851 What if I go home and change real quick? 1.3273 0.06073 110 84 16 10
852 I was on the golf course. 1.3272 0.04451 162 117 37 8
853 I had always thought these were my lucky pants. 1.3272 0.04620 162 119 33 10
854 It wouldn't be heaven without my favorite pair of pants. 1.3269 0.04740 156 115 31 10
855 Any chance on matching wings? 1.3269 0.05707 104 76 22 6
856 Try the other gate. They're color-blind. 1.3269 0.04652 156 114 33 9
857 Like I said to my wife, I'd rather go to hell than to give up these pants 1.3268 0.04713 153 112 32 9
858 You look angry.. it's the pants isn't it? 1.3268 0.04892 153 114 28 11
859 Next! 1.3267 0.06151 101 76 17 8
860 It's not the pants, it's that you played golf every Sunday. 1.3267 0.06465 101 78 13 10
861 Well then sir I believe then that “two” terrible mistakes have been made. 1.3267 0.04777 150 110 31 9
862 Better than a checkered past. 1.3265 0.04745 147 107 32 8
863 Isn't it Casual Eternity? 1.3264 0.05292 144 110 21 13
864 So maybe these weren’t the best pants to jaywalk in. 1.3262 0.04827 141 105 27 9
865 I didn't think you'd hold my checkered pants against me. 1.3262 0.05083 141 105 26 10
866 Turns out these pants really were to die for. 1.3261 0.04950 138 101 29 8
867 Joseph recommended them. 1.3261 0.05056 138 102 27 9
868 Yes, those pants are technically a sin. 1.3259 0.04563 135 95 36 4
869 But you HAVE to let me in. Hell already rejected me. 1.3258 0.05536 132 101 19 12
870 So, I had a checkered past 1.3256 0.05410 129 97 22 10
871 They’re tucked into my socks, which I suppose is another sin. 1.3256 0.05181 129 95 26 8
872 Sir, these are go to hell pants. 1.3256 0.04508 172 127 34 11
873 You think you're so high and mighty! 1.3254 0.05837 126 98 15 13
874 But are they a Cardinal sin? 1.3252 0.05353 123 91 24 8
875 When I got dressed, obviously I had no idea today would be the day. 1.3252 0.05714 123 94 18 11
876 Funny you should ask... yes, I did forget my clubs. 1.3250 0.05817 120 92 17 11
877 Just point me to the first tee, and I'll take it from there. 1.3250 0.04482 160 116 36 8
878 I admit to checkered pants, not a checkered past. 1.3250 0.05314 120 88 25 7
879 I thought eternal rest meant that I should wear my jammies. 1.3248 0.04714 157 116 31 10
880 You sure know how to stand out in a cloud. 1.3248 0.05268 117 85 26 6
881 Does it matter that I got them at Goodwill? 1.3248 0.04830 117 82 32 3
882 They didn't accept me down there either. 1.3248 0.05540 117 87 22 8
883 Of all the days to wear these pants… 1.3246 0.05212 114 82 27 5
884 Can I come back later ? 1.3246 0.05359 114 83 25 6
885 Finally - it took these pants for you to notice me! 1.3245 0.04932 151 113 27 11
886 I thought you'd be bigger 1.3241 0.05858 108 81 19 8
887 So I'm colorblind. Is that a sin? 1.3238 0.05496 105 76 24 5
888 Yes, I did die while golfing. What gave it away? 1.3238 0.05327 105 75 26 4
889 I thought you told me to rejoice and be plaid. 1.3237 0.05424 139 107 19 13
890 Dress code? That wasn’t in the brochure… 1.3237 0.05025 139 103 27 9
891 Huh. I guess you *were* caught dead in those pants. 1.3237 0.05076 139 106 22 11
892 First a hole-in-one and then I get hit by lightning. What are the odds? 1.3235 0.04993 136 100 28 8
893 I guess you killed at Fashion Week? 1.3235 0.05206 136 102 24 10
894 Nobody mentioned a dress code. 1.3233 0.05179 133 99 25 9
895 So, where is everybody? 1.3233 0.05179 133 99 25 9
896 Target, $22.95 -- 1.3228 0.04985 127 92 29 6
897 Another fashion casualty 1.3228 0.05021 158 121 23 14
898 I always heard it as Gloria in excessive Day-Glo. 1.3226 0.05674 124 95 18 11
899 Well, you didn't give time to change. 1.3226 0.05316 124 92 24 8
900 Is there any wiggle room on the white gown policy? 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
901 I knew this would happen if my wife caught me with these on 1.3226 0.04924 155 117 26 12
902 The last thing I remember, I raised my hand in favor of impeachment. 1.3226 0.04838 155 116 28 11
903 Saint Peter, not all of the questionable choices in my life can be judged as black or white. 1.3226 0.04998 124 92 25 7
904 So is it a sin to be color blind? 1.3224 0.04992 152 115 25 12
905 I'd like to make clear, I didn't have a chance to dress myself 1.3221 0.04787 149 110 30 9
906 Nobody told me about a dress code. 1.3221 0.04692 149 109 32 8
907 The name's Rubik. 1.3220 0.05367 118 87 24 7
908 There once was a young man from Natchez Whose pants were covered with patches When comments arose On the state of his cloths He smiled, "When I itches, I scratches." 1.3220 0.05230 118 86 26 6
909 Who are you to judge?! 1.3219 0.04950 146 109 27 10
910 Am I here cause of the pants? 1.3219 0.04755 146 107 31 8
911 I never wanted to be caught dead in these pants. 1.3217 0.05319 115 84 25 6
912 I was just saying I have as much of a chance of making a hole in one as I have of being struck by lightning! 1.3217 0.05733 115 87 19 9
913 It wouldn't be heaven without my comfy pants. 1.3217 0.05599 115 86 21 8
914 I heard the dress code was "golf casual" 1.3214 0.05096 140 105 25 10
915 I didn't expect Judgment Day to include my wardrobe choices. 1.3214 0.04874 168 129 24 15
916 I want to be reincarnated as a Rubik's Cube. 1.3214 0.05196 140 106 23 11
917 Can I join a foursome? 1.3214 0.05096 140 105 25 10
918 Yes, but when I said I'd wouldn't be caught dead in a pair of pants like these . . . 1.3212 0.05069 137 102 26 9
919 Well, it's a cold day in hell so here I am. 1.3212 0.05377 137 105 20 12
920 I am soooo ready for the rapture ! 1.3211 0.06097 109 84 15 10
921 All I said was that I could die for some new color in my wardrobe. 1.3209 0.04808 134 97 31 6
922 Yes, I know but I have clean underwear. 1.3209 0.04923 134 98 29 7
923 They were the style in Palm Beach when I croaked . 1.3209 0.05036 134 99 27 8
924 I'd like to take a Mulligan. 1.3209 0.05036 134 99 27 8
925 Haven’t you got the memo? 1.3209 0.04569 134 95 35 4
926 Yes sir, I did join QAnon, I thought it was Quilters Anonymous! 1.3209 0.05464 134 103 19 12
927 Are you saying that I have to wear these pants for the entire afterlife 1.3206 0.04998 131 96 28 7
928 Pretty sure it's "Passion" of the Christ, not "Fashion." 1.3206 0.05114 131 97 26 8
929 Ok Rubik, solve your pants in 15 seconds and you get in. 1.3203 0.05312 128 96 23 9
930 I think you know why I can't let you in. 1.3200 0.05634 125 96 18 11
931 Don’t worry, everyone who made fun of them went to the other place.” 1.3200 0.06176 100 76 16 8
932 Right, I'll see myself out. 1.3200 0.05518 125 95 20 10
933 I’ve been expecting this since 1973. 1.3200 0.04136 175 126 42 7
934 Dr. Rubik. I just have one question. 1.3200 0.06010 100 75 18 7
935 Was sort of hoping to get a mulligan. 1.3200 0.05400 125 94 22 9
936 Yes, I swore I wouldn't be caught dead in these pants. 1.3200 0.06495 100 78 12 10
937 Surely you can forgive crimes against fashion. 1.3197 0.05368 122 91 23 8
938 Who died and made you the fashion police? 1.3197 0.05368 122 91 23 8
939 In my defense, it wasn't made clear to me that these pants were that specific type of 'abomination.' 1.3197 0.05368 122 91 23 8
940 No,I don’t make balloon animals. 1.3197 0.05109 122 89 27 6
941 If you want to stay, you're going to have to tone it down. 1.3196 0.05589 97 70 23 4
942 I didn't have time to change. Don't judge me. 1.3194 0.04893 144 107 28 9
943 Regarding the commandments; is 7 out to 10 a passing score? 1.3193 0.04683 166 125 29 12
944 Oh, these. Heart attack, seventeenth tee box. 1.3191 0.05065 141 106 25 10
945 Distracting me won’t work. 1.3191 0.04755 141 103 31 7
946 Looks like you died in clothes you wouldn't be caught dead in. 1.3190 0.05821 116 89 17 10
947 I'm sorry. I just dropped dead on the fourteenth hole! 1.3190 0.04598 116 83 30 3
948 I plaid guilty! 1.3188 0.05037 138 103 26 9
949 "I'd kill for those pants." 1.3188 0.04598 138 99 34 5
950 Since when did plaid become a mortal sin? 1.3186 0.05659 113 85 20 8
951 Frankly, I'm used to this. Every day has been judgement day 1.3185 0.05325 135 103 21 11
952 Sorry: it's your checkered past! 1.3185 0.04242 157 112 40 5
953 I’ll give you a pass on the pants but I’m also going to revise our “Come as you are” policy. 1.3182 0.05620 110 82 21 7
954 Well, sometimes the golf score was not exactly accurate! 1.3182 0.04486 154 112 35 7
955 Don’t suppose you saw a golf ball pass by? 1.3182 0.04727 132 95 32 5
956 I said I wouldn’t be caught dead in these pants—but I guess I was. 1.3178 0.05276 129 97 23 9
957 You do realize that it's after Labor Day. 1.3178 0.05160 129 96 25 8
958 Death, be not loud 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
959 Yes, I know I’ve had a checkered past. 1.3176 0.04701 148 109 31 8
960 You of all people should know that I'm colorblind! 1.3175 0.05121 126 93 26 7
961 No, no, my PAST wasn't checkered... 1.3174 0.04659 167 126 29 12
962 Yes sir. I promise I’ll change. 1.3172 0.04864 145 108 28 9
963 I lost a bet.” 1.3171 0.05330 123 92 23 8
964 Appropriate attire is required. 1.3169 0.04620 142 103 33 6
965 Oh no! Not with those pants. 1.3169 0.04832 142 105 29 8
966 Nobody told me there was a dress code. 1.3169 0.04832 142 105 29 8
967 Ironically, I've never felt more alive than when I'm wearing these pants 1.3168 0.06282 101 78 14 9
968 They may have gotten you into Princeton, but those pants will NOT get you into Heaven! 1.3167 0.04277 180 133 37 10
969 Lose the pants and we'll talk... 1.3165 0.04793 139 102 30 7
970 I don't think I appreciate your attitude 1.3165 0.05109 139 105 24 10
971 The problem is your checkered past, not your checkered pants 1.3165 0.04901 139 103 28 8
972 I’d like a 10 a. m. tee time. 1.3162 0.05100 117 85 27 5
973 Surely I get some brownie points for wearing this gift from my kids. 1.3162 0.05100 117 85 27 5
974 These are my good-luck pants. 1.3162 0.04633 136 98 33 5
975 Maybe, but if you ask me, eternity in these pants is going to be hell. 1.3162 0.04973 136 101 27 8
976 Well, I have what I like to call a 'fun side' 1.3158 0.04574 133 95 34 4
977 Hole eight was a killer. 1.3158 0.04697 133 96 32 5
978 Casual Friday...sorry 1.3158 0.04934 133 98 28 7
979 We don’t offer mulligans. 1.3158 0.05476 114 85 22 7
980 Sorry, you need a jacket and tie. . . 1.3158 0.05333 114 84 24 6
981 Delighted to see you Mr Rubik. 1.3158 0.04817 133 97 30 6
982 Lucky for you, bad taste in clothing is technically not a SIN... 1.3158 0.04613 152 112 32 8
983 Yes, I do play golf. Why do you ask? 1.3158 0.04518 152 111 34 7
984 I hope it's Casual Friday. 1.3155 0.04479 168 125 33 10
985 C'mon crimes against fashion? 1.3154 0.05126 130 97 25 8
986 Ok. Yes. I coveted a whole in one. 1.3154 0.05009 130 96 27 7
987 Any other indiscretions? 1.3154 0.04888 130 95 29 6
988 The last thing I heard my wife say was 'Are you going out with those pants?' 1.3154 0.05126 130 97 25 8
989 You would have said yes in the 60s. 1.3153 0.05721 111 84 19 8
990 She told the undertaker, "At least I'm gonna make him wear them once!" 1.3153 0.06136 111 87 13 11
991 I was murdered by the fashion police. 1.3152 0.06169 92 69 17 6
992 It's the shirt, isn't it. 1.3152 0.06545 92 71 13 8
993 I hope my taste in clothing won't count against me, Saint Peter. In my defense, I was hit by lightning on the golf course and didn't expect to meet someone of your stature today. 1.3151 0.04636 146 107 32 7
994 Looks like your wife finally figured out how to get rid of those pants. 1.3150 0.05208 127 95 24 8
995 I was hoping for a Mulligan. 1.3150 0.05087 127 94 26 7
996 Where in Hell did you get those pants? 1.3150 0.04962 127 93 28 6
997 I was told casual is fine. 1.3150 0.05208 127 95 24 8
998 I bet you're used to seeing pajamas, right? 1.3148 0.04420 162 119 35 8
999 I thought your invite said come as you are. 1.3145 0.05535 124 95 19 10
1000 I ordered an Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, but I got these. 1.3145 0.05416 124 94 21 9
1001 And my wife said I would go to Hell if I ever wore these pants. 1.3143 0.05120 105 75 27 3
1002 Really, I didn't mean to die in these pants 1.3143 0.04871 140 104 28 8
1003 Even I haven't seen those pants before. 1.3140 0.05253 121 90 24 7
1004 Wearing these pants should be enough punishment. 1.3139 0.04720 137 100 31 6
1005 Uh...it's after Labor Day? 1.3139 0.04942 137 102 27 8
1006 Does Joseph abide by this dress code, too? 1.3139 0.04942 137 102 27 8
1007 What Password? 1.3136 0.05064 118 86 27 5
1008 I think you might enjoy meeting Piet. 1.3136 0.05342 118 88 23 7
1009 No. A dress code? 1.3134 0.05235 134 102 22 10
1010 On earth I always thought these pants were gray 1.3134 0.04903 134 99 28 7
1011 Can I get matching wings? 1.3133 0.04743 150 112 29 9
1012 I worked from home. 1.3133 0.04836 150 113 27 10
1013 I have a feeling that I'm not in Kansas anymore. 1.3130 0.05147 115 84 26 5
1014 Too much? 1.3130 0.04734 131 95 31 5
1015 Uh-oh! These are my go to hell pants! 1.3130 0.04857 131 96 29 6
1016 Uh, I thought this was going to be a zoom meeting. 1.3130 0.05428 131 101 19 11
1017 Table for one. 1.3129 0.04998 147 112 24 11
1018 Checking in. 1.3125 0.04673 128 92 32 4
1019 Should I have worn the matching sweater? 1.3125 0.04803 128 93 30 5
1020 Okay sure, but they’re not a sin. 1.3125 0.04738 128 95 27 6
1021 Bad taste is not a sin. 1.3125 0.04623 160 120 30 10
1022 She said she'd kill me if I wore these to her mother's funeral. 1.3125 0.05817 112 86 17 9
1023 I can see how the driver that ran me over got confused at the traffic light. 1.3125 0.05518 128 99 18 11
1024 I got hit by a car at the Pride March. 1.3125 0.04774 144 107 29 8
1025 I was told it would be black tie optional 1.3125 0.05291 128 97 22 9
1026 Did Satan put you up to this? 1.3125 0.05533 112 84 21 7
1027 I have checkered pants not past! 1.3120 0.05257 125 94 23 8
1028 Thank God, I've been in purgatory since the 80s 1.3120 0.05257 125 94 23 8
1029 Isn't saving anyone else from having to wear it a 'good deed' enough? 1.3119 0.05164 109 79 26 4
1030 It appears your family got the last laugh. 1.3116 0.04802 138 102 29 7
1031 What? They're my pickleball pants. 1.3115 0.05216 122 91 24 7
1032 The coat was a hit, the pants… 1.3115 0.05216 122 91 24 7
1033 No one here has seen your ball either. 1.3111 0.04872 135 100 28 7
1034 This is Heaven, not a country club! 1.3111 0.04984 135 101 26 8
1035 Surely, you can’t expect to meet him in those pants. 1.3111 0.04518 135 97 34 4
1036 I’m looking for more pizazz in the afterlife. 1.3111 0.04872 135 100 28 7
1037 Check again under “Never married.” 1.3109 0.05436 119 90 21 8
1038 I didn't think I would be here today. May I go back and change into a suit and tie? 1.3108 0.04683 148 110 30 8
1039 I was on the back nine. 1.3108 0.04780 148 111 28 9
1040 I saw them in the stained glass window and just had to have them. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
1041 My wife thinks it’s funny. 1.3106 0.05060 132 99 25 8
1042 I was the first to be sentenced under President Anna Wintour’s three strikes policy. 1.3106 0.05392 132 102 19 11
1043 My departed wife has the matching top. 1.3103 0.05110 116 85 26 5
1044 I died in my sleep. 1.3103 0.05797 116 90 16 10
1045 Dress code? Seriously?! 1.3103 0.05532 116 88 20 8
1046 I was his second favorite son. 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1047 Yes, looking back, I now realize that it was an egregious mistake -- but can you cut me some slacks? 1.3103 0.05532 116 88 20 8
1048 Don’t worry, we have you listed as being colorblind. 1.3103 0.05797 116 90 16 10
1049 Judge all you want, but I always dress for comfort. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1050 OMG! I can't remember why I came up here... 1.3103 0.05254 116 86 24 6
1051 Who are you to judge? Ok. Got it. 1.3103 0.04961 116 84 28 4
1052 I was just about to shoot par. 1.3101 0.04643 129 93 32 4
1053 Sadly, I also can't golf. 1.3101 0.05369 129 99 20 10
1054 Turns out it's a bad idea to play golf in a thunderstorm. 1.3101 0.05255 129 98 22 9
1055 Sorry, thanks to DeSantis, we're not taking Floridians this year. 1.3101 0.05138 129 97 24 8
1056 Really?! And what makes you "The Authority" on fashion? 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
1057 I was told to wear these even if it killed me. 1.3097 0.05491 113 85 21 7
1058 What do you mean it’s a sin to look this good? 1.3095 0.04972 126 93 27 6
1059 What? I work from home. 1.3094 0.04881 139 104 27 8
1060 What in God's name are you wearing? 1.3093 0.06448 97 76 12 9
1061 Sorry, but the rules are black and white. 1.3092 0.04499 152 112 33 7
1062 Mondrian has been looking for those pants. 1.3091 0.05285 110 81 24 5
1063 My wife insisted I could take them with me. 1.3091 0.05441 110 82 22 6
1064 They're amazing technicolor dreampants. 1.3089 0.05180 123 92 24 7
1065 In my defense, they were a gift. 1.3089 0.04708 123 91 27 5
1066 You’re not making it easy for me, Fred. 1.3089 0.05307 123 93 22 8
1067 To be fair, I died in the privacy of my own home. 1.3089 0.05431 123 94 20 9
1068 My wife made the reservation. 1.3087 0.04752 149 112 28 9
1069 I thought a bit of color might relieve the tension. 1.3087 0.04847 149 113 26 10
1070 We’ll your wife was right…not a chance! 1.3085 0.05863 94 70 19 5
1071 I was a country club Republican. 1.3084 0.05851 107 82 17 8
1072 Yes,I was on the thirteenth fairway when lightening struck. 1.3083 0.04552 120 85 33 2
1073 I refuse to re-pant. 1.3083 0.04912 133 99 27 7
1074 Then my wife said,"Would it kill you to wear something more colorful." 1.3083 0.04735 133 100 26 7
1075 I see you got Joseph's memo.... 1.3082 0.05010 146 112 23 11
1076 Tell Joseph I'm here, he knows me. 1.3082 0.04632 159 120 29 10
1077 Don't make me wear these for all eternity. 1.3077 0.04986 130 97 26 7
1078 I don't know, I thought the traffic would stop. 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1079 Fashion faux pas sinners need to report to cloud 9 for evaluation. 1.3077 0.04773 117 84 30 3
1080 Sorry, we have a dress code here. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1081 What, you have a dress code? 1.3071 0.05058 140 107 23 10
1082 She was serious when she said it would be the last time I wore these. 1.3071 0.05058 140 107 23 10
1083 I was told that every day is Casual Friday up here. 1.3071 0.04810 127 93 29 5
1084 See? Dead men CAN wear plaid; Martin & Reiner were WRONG! 1.3071 0.05304 127 97 21 9
1085 I have to let you in -- hell has a dress code 1.3071 0.05421 127 98 19 10
1086 Sorry, but I can’t hear you. Your pants are too loud.” 1.3069 0.05403 101 74 23 4
1087 Have you seen a little white ball go by? 1.3066 0.04811 137 102 28 7
1088 Stuart made it to heaven, despite his checkered pants. 1.3066 0.05340 137 107 18 12
1089 My golf partner lost his temper and here I am! 1.3063 0.05005 111 83 23 5
1090 The guy said, ' Your pants or your life! ' 1.3063 0.05836 111 86 16 9
1091 Duuude 1.3063 0.05548 111 84 20 7
1092 Can I still play through ? 1.3060 0.04994 134 101 25 8
1093 This is what you get when you don't give advance notice. 1.3058 0.05095 121 90 25 6
1094 My mom only told me clean underwear 1.3058 0.05358 121 92 21 8
1095 I dress for comfort, not for Judgement Day. 1.3058 0.05095 121 90 25 6
1096 If I’d known today was the day, I would have worn khakis. 1.3056 0.05652 108 82 19 7
1097 I didn't say I had a checkered past... 1.3053 0.04833 131 97 28 6
1098 Guess I just couldn’t leave my checkered past behind. 1.3053 0.04953 131 98 26 7
1099 Judgement day? My wife says I have no judgement. 1.3053 0.06000 95 72 17 6
1100 Peter, are we out of the white pajama bottoms? I mean…what the hell? 1.3052 0.04816 154 118 25 11
1101 I died on a Zoom call. 1.3051 0.05178 118 88 24 6
1102 I’m sure my lawyer will be here any minute. 1.3051 0.05178 118 88 24 6
1103 Did you call ahead or use the app? 1.3051 0.05178 118 88 24 6
1104 Is all white a strict dress code? 1.3051 0.05316 118 89 22 7
1105 My brother will be here shortly. You can't miss him. 1.3050 0.04381 141 102 35 4
1106 You’re not the fashion police. 1.3048 0.05434 105 78 22 5
1107 Sorry, we're only admitting people with untucked shirts. 1.3047 0.05029 128 96 25 7
1108 Sorry, we have a noise ordinance up here and buddy, those pants are just too loud. 1.3047 0.05384 128 99 19 10
1109 “What do you mean, dead men don’t wear plaid? 1.3046 0.04791 151 115 26 10
1110 This uniform’s a bit different than I expected. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1111 I lost the matching jacket on a trip to Egypt. 1.3040 0.05108 125 94 24 7
1112 In hindsight, wearing these to the running of the bulls was a miscalculation. 1.3040 0.05591 125 98 16 11
1113 In my defense...the devil made me do it. 1.3040 0.04980 125 93 26 6
1114 I'm Rubik. 1.3039 0.05877 102 78 17 7
1115 To hell with taste! 1.3038 0.04811 158 122 24 12
1116 Come on, Peter, even you can't deny these will liven up the place. 1.3037 0.04850 135 101 27 7
1117 This is unexpected. Someone told me I'd be going to Fashion Hell. 1.3036 0.04448 168 127 31 10
1118 Yeah, yeah...checkmate...very funny 1.3036 0.05505 112 85 20 7
1119 No. Those pants were a hell of a choice 1.3034 0.04727 145 109 28 8
1120 They said “come as you are” and I was golfing. 1.3032 0.04281 155 116 32 7
1121 but it was fine when joseph wore his technicolor dreamcoat 1.3032 0.04789 155 119 25 11
1122 Well, my grandkids loved them! 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1123 My bag of golf clubs got lost in transport? 1.3030 0.04802 132 98 28 6
1124 If Joseph and his dreamcoat can get in, then so should Alan and his polychrome pants." 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
1125 Please...no one would let me wear them down there 1.3028 0.04792 142 107 27 8
1126 Oh golly, I thought I'd found myself at the NY library. 1.3028 0.05607 109 83 19 7
1127 I can let you in,but you will be wearing those pants for all eternity. 1.3028 0.04878 109 81 24 4
1128 I knew I'd be judged for who I was, not what I wore. 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
1129 I lost the coat. 1.3028 0.05607 109 83 19 7
1130 Trust me, it's a typo. It's only my pants that are checkered. 1.3028 0.05295 109 81 23 5
1131 I’ve moved beyond my checkered past. 1.3026 0.04382 152 112 34 6
1132 I wore these to church every Sunday. 1.3025 0.05141 119 89 24 6
1133 I never told my wife I actually hated these trousers she made for me so she buried me in them. 1.3023 0.05233 129 99 21 9
1134 Do fashion offenses count? 1.3023 0.06631 86 67 12 7
1135 I'm afraid I've already been judged today. 1.3023 0.04747 129 95 29 5
1136 Have you seen my dream coat? 1.3022 0.04527 139 102 32 5
1137 Golf course, three clouds down. 1.3022 0.04641 139 103 30 6
1138 What do you mean, dress code? 1.3021 0.05155 96 69 25 2
1139 One too many jokes about my partner’s putting. 1.3020 0.04437 149 110 33 6
1140 No, I don't have a checkered past. 1.3019 0.04615 159 121 28 10
1141 Sorry, but golf is the Devil's creation. Next! 1.3019 0.05221 106 78 24 4
1142 I'd just prefer to keep them is all. 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
1143 Can't touch this. 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
1144 Just write: "He golfed." 1.3017 0.05368 116 88 21 7
1145 Well that doesn't seem fair. What If I agree to change my pants? 1.3017 0.04931 116 85 27 4
1146 I got the memo. 1.3017 0.04931 116 85 27 4
1147 I was told no pleats, no cut offs, no bell bottoms ... 1.3017 0.05368 116 88 21 7
1148 This isn’t a Walmart. 1.3017 0.05640 116 90 17 9
1149 It's wash day. 1.3014 0.04699 146 110 28 8
1150 At least I never wore white after Labor Day 1.3014 0.04597 146 109 30 7
1151 My wife dressed me. 1.3014 0.04597 146 109 30 7
1152 The 9th hole is murder 1.3013 0.04933 156 122 21 13
1153 Unfortunately, I did it my way 1.3010 0.05490 103 77 21 5
1154 I was aiming for a White Anglo-Saxon Penitent aesthetic. 1.3010 0.05661 103 78 19 6
1155 What are you? Fashion police? 1.3010 0.05661 103 78 19 6
1156 The last thing I remember was my wife saying, "I wouldn't be caught dead in those pants!" 1.3009 0.05606 113 87 18 8
1157 I thought I'd look festive. 1.3008 0.04889 123 91 27 5
1158 Do you have a Loaner Jacket? 1.3008 0.04889 123 91 27 5
1159 I did it my way. 1.3008 0.04771 133 99 28 6
1160 There isn’t a dress code but you’re pushing it.. 1.3008 0.04771 133 99 28 6
1161 Your place here will be next to Captian Underpants. 1.3007 0.04966 143 110 23 10
1162 Now?! I was 4 under par on the 18th hole. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1163 They’re that unforgivable? 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1164 I’m afraid that you’ll have to wait to get in until the rest of your foursome arrives. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1165 That's just what the horned guy said. "No way in hell" 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
1166 As I understand it, it's only a venial sin. 1.3000 0.05081 130 99 23 8
1167 So, about those words I used just after I missed that last putt... 1.3000 0.04965 120 89 26 5
1168 Christian Dior. Why do you ask? 1.3000 0.05371 120 92 20 8
1169 You’ll have to borrow one of our jackets to be seated. 1.3000 0.05038 140 108 22 10
1170 My wife kept the matching handbag. 1.2994 0.04290 167 125 34 8
1171 You mean you count Taste? 1.2993 0.04900 137 104 25 8
1172 I'm here to collect my jacket. A multicoloured houndstooth. The name's Joseph. 1.2993 0.05320 137 108 17 12
1173 So, I am okay to enter but not with these pants? 1.2992 0.04784 127 94 28 5
1174 Joseph,where’s the coat? 1.2991 0.05328 117 89 21 7
1175 I call them my technicolor dream pants. 1.2991 0.05328 117 89 21 7
1176 Waddya mean, no golfers? 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
1177 I have a reservation 1.2991 0.05180 107 79 24 4
1178 I acknowledge I've led a checkered past. 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
1179 My sins are not black and white either. 1.2984 0.04989 124 93 25 6
1180 I thought there might be some golf. 1.2984 0.05119 124 96 20 8
1181 Any chance I can get a mulligan? 1.2982 0.04814 114 83 28 3
1182 Now that I have your attention... 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1183 I mean, yeah, these pants might be pretty awful, but they're not a sin, right? 1.2980 0.04773 151 116 25 10
1184 Uh… No. 1.2975 0.05068 121 91 24 6
1185 I thought they said you had a "checkered past," not "checkered pants." 1.2975 0.05068 121 91 24 6
1186 Sorry we don’t accept golfers. 1.2975 0.05460 121 94 18 9
1187 I was in the crosswalk, and somehow traffic got confused. 1.2975 0.05068 121 90 24 6
1188 Reservations for Smith 1.2975 0.05202 121 92 22 7
1189 What kind of Heaven doesn't observe Casual Friday? 1.2975 0.05068 121 91 24 6
1190 I've been in limbo wondering whether or not to wear these. 1.2975 0.05202 121 92 22 7
1191 But I don’t idolize them, I swear. 1.2973 0.05519 111 85 19 7
1192 It's a long story. Got time? 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1193 I swore I’d never get caught dead in these pants, go figure. 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1194 Look,I wanted to go out in style. 1.2973 0.05368 111 84 21 6
1195 So I thought gold, frankincense and mirth. Right? So I went with mirth. 1.2973 0.05808 111 87 15 9
1196 I'm Protestant. May I still enter? 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1197 To hell with fashion! 1.2971 0.05185 138 108 19 11
1198 My name is Joseph and my brothers short-changed me. 1.2971 0.04413 138 101 33 4
1199 Gift or not, you’re the one who chose to wear them 1.2970 0.05894 101 78 16 7
1200 I can't wear a gown, that would look ridiculous. 1.2969 0.05126 128 98 22 8
1201 I had a hat. 1.2969 0.05005 128 97 24 7
1202 I think I’ll fit in here. 1.2969 0.04753 128 95 28 5
1203 Sorry, I didn't know you had a dress code. 1.2969 0.04880 128 96 26 6
1204 Sorry, but a monochrome heaven wasn't my idea of an afterlife. 1.2966 0.05289 118 90 21 7
1205 No plaid after Judgement Day? 1.2966 0.05150 118 89 23 6
1206 Well yes, I have had a checkered past. 1.2966 0.05008 118 88 25 5
1207 Go home and change first. 1.2966 0.04861 118 87 27 4
1208 No, you can't go back to Earth to change your pants. 1.2966 0.04706 145 110 27 8
1209 I was under the impression it was come as you are. 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
1210 Oh yes you CAN be judged for sartorial choices! 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
1211 Are my parents in there? Told them it was a bad idea to go to prep school 1.2963 0.04592 135 100 30 5
1212 Does the Gap Heaven carry those pants? 1.2963 0.04652 135 103 25 7
1213 Your trousers are "nice" as hell... 1.2963 0.04790 108 78 28 2
1214 My mother, why? 1.2963 0.05159 135 105 20 10
1215 I can’t seem to get rid of my colorful past… 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
1216 We already know about your checkered past. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
1217 So...when she said "You can't wear those to the dinner," you said "Watch me!" 1.2961 0.04652 152 116 27 9
1218 We do forgive a checkered past 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1219 I know you're omniscient but I just want to reiterate that they were made from eco-friendly materials. 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1220 Joseph, it was dream coat, not pants! 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1221 Let me guess, you died in your sleep. 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1222 So you're gonna send me to hell for these pants. huh? 1.2959 0.05657 98 74 19 5
1223 I'm afraid you've forced us to add Aesthetic Negligence as the 8th Deadly Sin. 1.2959 0.05840 98 75 17 6
1224 If you have cherubim and seraphim here surely you can make room for a harlequin? 1.2959 0.06190 98 77 13 8
1225 I was working from home when I died. 1.2959 0.05840 98 75 17 6
1226 Despite appearances I'm one of the meek and I now expect to inherit. 1.2958 0.04771 142 108 26 8
1227 You haven’t seen an amazing, technicolor, dream coat, laying around, have you? 1.2958 0.04771 142 108 26 8
1228 Really, this is my biggest sin. 1.2957 0.05236 115 87 22 6
1229 Yes, I knew it was after Labor Day. 1.2957 0.05236 115 87 22 6
1230 I didn’t think I’d be judged on this part. 1.2957 0.04449 115 82 32 1
1231 Just returning Joseph's pants. 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
1232 In case I get tossed out, these are Parachute Pants. 1.2952 0.05567 105 80 19 6
1233 They said go big or go home 1.2952 0.05730 105 81 17 7
1234 I heard I needed proof I was an Episcopalian 1.2952 0.05730 105 81 17 7
1235 I know,I know,my wife said the same thing 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
1236 But it’s from Lord & Tailored. 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
1237 Are you playing with a foursome or on your own? 1.2951 0.05294 122 94 20 8
1238 Where do I queue to see the Queen? 1.2951 0.05421 122 95 18 9
1239 True, St. Peter, but I never wore a plastic belt. 1.2950 0.04729 139 105 27 7
1240 You're not the Wizard, are you! 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
1241 I was hoping you had the day off. 1.2946 0.05016 112 83 25 4
1242 I’ll be damned. No one ever told me looking good was a sin. 1.2946 0.05174 112 84 23 5
1243 I did say I would rather be dead than to be caught in these. 1.2946 0.05327 112 85 21 6
1244 It was supposedly meant to be a short, open casket joke, not an eternal one. 1.2946 0.05476 112 86 19 7
1245 You thought "fashion crime" was only a metaphor? 1.2946 0.05476 112 86 19 7
1246 I just assumed there would be a golf course. 1.2946 0.04848 129 97 26 6
1247 I came all this way to find out there's a dress code to get in? 1.2946 0.04971 129 98 24 7
1248 We have relaxed our dress codes, but I still don't think you will get in. 1.2946 0.04721 129 96 28 5
1249 Exodus 28:42 says linen breeches to cover our nakedness. It doesn't say they have to be boring colors. 1.2946 0.04971 129 98 24 7
1250 Do these pants make my spirit look fat? 1.2946 0.05092 129 99 22 8
1251 OK? Really, God accepts plaid? 1.2945 0.04255 146 107 35 4
1252 I was not a golfer, but I was golf curious. 1.2945 0.04472 146 109 31 6
1253 For God'sake, do you have another pair of pants? 1.2945 0.04472 146 109 31 6
1254 Any chance I'm early? I'd like to change my pants first. 1.2941 0.05322 102 76 22 4
1255 I've got the 1:00 tee-time. 1.2941 0.04908 136 104 24 8
1256 I know, but they wouldn't take me. 1.2941 0.04908 136 104 24 8
1257 There’s a dress code?? 1.2941 0.05843 102 79 16 7
1258 And then when we tied on the 18th my wife said “honey, why don’t we play sudden death?” 1.2941 0.05113 119 90 23 6
1259 Sorry, but you caught me on the back nine. 1.2941 0.05250 119 91 21 7
1260 I didn't think I needed a tie. 1.2941 0.05250 119 91 21 7
1261 I wasn't sure what color went with pearly gates. 1.2941 0.05113 119 90 23 6
1262 Yes, you're on the list, but the pants need to go -- 1.2941 0.05384 119 92 19 8
1263 Surely crimes against fashion and good taste don't count?... 1.2937 0.04530 143 107 30 6
1264 Must I live with these pants for eternity? 1.2937 0.04921 126 95 25 6
1265 It's ironic that I got hit at a stoplight. 1.2937 0.05172 126 97 21 8
1266 If I had to do it all over, I’d get the matching shirt. 1.2937 0.04790 126 94 27 5
1267 But the salesperson insisted these pants were heavenly. 1.2937 0.05294 126 98 19 9
1268 Where I come from we have nine judges. 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1269 I didn't know there was a dress code. 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1270 They told me you’d be color blind. 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1271 Oh, it's you. Again, no change of pants, no service. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
1272 Sorry. Some fashion choices are just unforgivable. 1.2931 0.04900 116 86 26 4
1273 I went into a coma in the 80's. 1.2931 0.05197 116 88 22 6
1274 I was only on the 16th Tee 1.2931 0.05745 116 92 14 10
1275 Beau Brummell will be thrilled to finally have a friend. 1.2931 0.05478 116 90 18 8
1276 They're from the Joseph Collection over at Lord & Tailor. 1.2931 0.05874 116 93 12 11
1277 I see you've made a lot of bad choices... 1.2931 0.05478 116 90 18 8
1278 My wife told me that if I kept wearing these pants she'd smother me to death with a pillow. Well, here I am. 1.2931 0.05340 116 89 20 7
1279 Achem…. Oh great wise one….do you think Lily Pulitzer works for men, too? 1.2929 0.05607 99 75 19 5
1280 Normally I wouldn’t be seen dead wearing these 1.2929 0.05788 99 76 17 6
1281 My undertaker was a frenemy of mine. 1.2929 0.05788 99 76 17 6
1282 Sorry, I was really expecting this to happen over video chat. 1.2929 0.04914 140 108 23 9
1283 I am a puzzlement unto myself 1.2927 0.05128 123 94 22 7
1284 Excuse me, sir. for some reason, I went to Hell first. 1.2925 0.04340 147 109 33 5
1285 Technicolor dreamcoat, not pants! 1.2925 0.04827 106 77 27 2
1286 The shirt is to impress you and the pants were in case the shirt didn't help 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
1287 Let me guess, it was the pants? 1.2925 0.05522 106 81 19 6
1288 At least my lucky pants got me into heaven. 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
1289 Are you sure that's a commandment? 1.2923 0.04816 130 98 26 6
1290 I heard it wouldn't matter. The word was you were color blind. 1.2923 0.04938 130 99 24 7
1291 Yes, it's heaven but we still have standards. 1.2921 0.06231 89 69 14 6
1292 They were a gift from my wife. I wore them in public. Shouldn't I qualify for sainthood? 1.2920 0.05577 113 88 17 8
1293 Only God can judge me. 1.2920 0.04766 137 104 26 7
1294 No worries, I get it. 1.2920 0.04986 137 106 22 9
1295 Not with those pants you aren’t. 1.2920 0.04766 137 104 26 7
1296 Well, maybe I'm not a big fan of your outfit, either, God... 1.2917 0.06268 96 76 12 8
1297 Yeah, well you need a hair cut and a shave. 1.2917 0.04609 144 109 28 7
1298 The changing room is on the left. 1.2917 0.06091 96 75 14 7
1299 I always said if I could play golf every day, it would be like I died and went to heaven. 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
1300 Look under, "Clown, Chuckles". 1.2917 0.05908 96 74 16 6
1301 If someone says they don’t like my pants, can I still tell them to go to Hell? 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
1302 You haven't seen a small white ball anywhere, have you? 1.2917 0.05345 120 93 19 8
1303 Don’t be fooled by the pants. I can learn to adapt. 1.2917 0.04503 144 108 30 6
1304 Forgive me this sin. My wife picked them out. 1.2917 0.04792 120 89 27 4
1305 I'm hoping you have a golf course. 1.2913 0.04487 127 93 31 3
1306 Well, they weren’t a sin on Zoom. 1.2913 0.05137 127 98 21 8
1307 …and totally misjudged the stoplight. Did I mention I’m colorblind? 1.2913 0.04624 127 94 29 4
1308 It's not the pants I have an issue with . . . it's the crocs. 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
1309 My mother-in-law ... 1.2913 0.05627 103 81 15 7
1310 My apologies, I don’t happen to know any Josephs. 1.2913 0.05278 103 77 22 4
1311 They’re my Amazing Technicolor Dreamjammies. 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
1312 Congratulations, you are the first quilter today 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
1313 Is it true that only you can hit a one-iron? 1.2910 0.04834 134 102 25 7
1314 No, I was never a Picasso fan. More of a Rubik cubist 1.2910 0.04657 134 103 24 7
1315 The Bible doesn't say that they're a deadly sin. 1.2910 0.05061 134 104 21 9
1316 Welcome to heaven. Hmm, no social media accounts? You may come in. 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
1317 You'll never guess where I died. 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1318 Somebody else got the coat of many colors. 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1319 I would have preferred if it was before I bogeyed the 11th hole. 1.2909 0.04892 110 83 23 4
1320 Those pants are a sin I cannot forgive 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1321 My apologies - but we've already met our quota for golfers. 1.2908 0.04884 141 109 23 9
1322 Sorry we aren't judging pants today. 1.2908 0.04779 141 108 25 8
1323 How did you get out of purgatory wearing those? 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1324 In Hell? Wearing these? They’ll eat me alive! 1.2906 0.05300 117 90 20 7
1325 Where’s Mondrian? 1.2906 0.05829 117 94 12 11
1326 I don't see a 'Mr. Fancy Pants' anywhere here on this list. 1.2905 0.04623 148 113 27 8
1327 Are fashion crimes venial or mortal sins? 1.2903 0.06411 93 74 11 8
1328 I’ll need my good luck pants. 1.2903 0.04387 155 117 31 7
1329 I see it was laundry day. 1.2903 0.05092 124 95 22 7
1330 And who are YOU wearing? 1.2903 0.06226 93 73 13 7
1331 Okay, yes, I was a sinner. But, that's all in my checkered past. 1.2901 0.04660 131 98 28 5
1332 It says here you have a very checkered past. 1.2901 0.04125 131 94 36 1
1333 Most people would never be caught dead in pants like that! 1.2901 0.05252 131 103 18 10
1334 Where can I rent some clubs? 1.2900 0.06079 100 79 13 8
1335 Those pants aren't your biggest sin. 1.2900 0.04984 100 73 25 2
1336 And how do you plaid? 1.2899 0.04846 138 106 24 8
1337 I thought the pants of many colors might improve my chances. 1.2897 0.05145 107 80 23 4
1338 You see a Titleist 3? 1.2897 0.05313 107 81 21 5
1339 With an outfit like that heaven can wait 1.2897 0.05635 107 83 17 7
1340 'my wife said she'd kill me if I wore these to dinner again' 1.2897 0.05313 107 81 21 5
1341 Honest. I didn't know they were called 'go-to-hell' pants. 1.2895 0.04699 114 86 24 4
1342 I'm not believing the "they were a Christmas gift" excuse. 1.2895 0.05246 114 87 21 6
1343 I'm sorry. Some sins are unforgivable. 1.2895 0.05392 114 88 19 7
1344 I was just hoping to play through. 1.2895 0.04781 114 84 27 3
1345 Can you let Joseph know I'm finally here with his pants. 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
1346 I wanted to fit in with the loud trumpets. 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
1347 So you’re not letting me in because I’m colored? 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
1348 No, you may not play through” 1.2887 0.04853 142 110 23 9
1349 Oh, so heaven doesn't have casual Friday's huh 1.2887 0.04534 142 107 29 6
1350 I said 'I have a Czech past'. 1.2887 0.06035 97 76 14 7
1351 So who are you? The fashion police. 1.2887 0.05276 97 72 22 3
1352 So, did I pick a bad day to wear my "go to hell" pants, or what? 1.2885 0.04668 104 75 28 1
1353 Whdya mean you have a dress code in heaven? I was a clown on earth! 1.2885 0.05579 104 80 18 6
1354 Yes, they're in bad taste, but not sinfully so. 1.2885 0.05234 104 78 22 4
1355 Sure, but you're not asking about all the tax fraud, so my plan is working. 1.2883 0.05181 111 84 22 5
1356 I thought it would be business casual? 1.2883 0.05337 111 85 20 6
1357 Joseph got in with a “coat” of many colors. These will get you into a senior golf event. 1.2883 0.05337 111 85 20 6
1358 Dress code in heaven strictly enforced. You must RE-PANT and sin no more. 1.2883 0.05488 111 86 18 7
1359 Forgiveness for a checkered past, not checkered pants! 1.2883 0.05337 111 85 20 6
1360 I knew I would have to answer for my past, and these are my only fireproof pants. 1.2881 0.05529 118 93 16 9
1361 Did you really get those on sale? 1.2881 0.05396 118 92 18 8
1362 Whence Waldo? 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
1363 Does originality count for anything? 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
1364 You met Joseph earlier--he had the coat. 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
1365 Yeah, we know. You're on the Board at Choate. 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
1366 On the one hand, you've given millions to charities. On the other, there's the plaid . . . 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
1367 You look surprised. Is it the pants? 1.2879 0.04503 132 98 30 4
1368 Why are you sending me to Purgatory? 1.2879 0.04753 132 100 26 6
1369 My pastor never mentioned anything about a dress code. 1.2879 0.04990 132 102 22 8
1370 So, I didn't tip my Caddy! 1.2878 0.04816 139 107 24 8
1371 Did my lucky ball ever make it up here? 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
1372 My mother made them. 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
1373 You can take the elevator down to visit your tailor. 1.2871 0.05328 101 76 21 4
1374 There are eight deadly sins. 1.2871 0.05688 101 78 17 6
1375 Carts or caddies up here? 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1376 It's me--Joseph. I lost the matching dreamcoat. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1377 On the plus side, I ended at four under par 1.2870 0.05742 108 85 15 8
1378 Well, at least we'll be able to keep track of you in here. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1379 Um, this is awkward. It was laundry day. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1380 What do you mean by: "eternal life or the pants"? 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
1381 Is there golf 1.2870 0.05350 115 89 19 7
1382 It's spelling P-i-e-t M-o-n-d-r-i-a-n. 1.2870 0.05350 115 89 19 7
1383 I didn’t think New Yorker cartoons were in colour either, but here we are… 1.2870 0.05350 115 89 19 7
1384 I assumed everyone in heaven would be dressed like it's the 70s. 1.2869 0.05267 122 95 19 8
1385 Sorry, this is Cloud Nine. You are looking for the back nine. 1.2869 0.04866 122 92 25 5
1386 Who in God's name was your mortician? 1.2869 0.05004 122 93 23 6
1387 Why do you have to be so judgy?" 1.2868 0.04564 129 96 29 4
1388 Joseph had a coat of many colors so I thought..... 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
1389 You're telling me I can't come in wearing my " Go To Hell " pants ? 1.2867 0.04507 143 108 29 6
1390 Well, to be completely honest, you're lucky that fashion crimes don't count. 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1391 My wife liked to quilt, what can I say? 1.2857 0.04566 140 106 28 6
1392 No, I already told you my name is not 'SpongeBob'. 1.2857 0.05591 112 88 16 8
1393 Actually, they got a lot of compliments. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
1394 Don't tell me. You died while playing golf. 1.2857 0.04722 133 101 26 6
1395 Looks like my devil-may-care attitude worked out! 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
1396 I just discovered an eighth deadly sin. 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
1397 But Donald Trump told me that my Mar-a-Lago Golf Club membership opened the doors for me everywhere. 1.2857 0.06497 91 73 10 8
1398 No gates, huh? Yeah, this makes sense. 1.2857 0.05477 91 68 20 3
1399 No, Sir, these are not golf pants. These are ‘Sticky Notes’ my wife slapped on me when I left the house 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
1400 And what lesson did you take away from color theory class? 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
1401 I brought them for Joseph. Turns out we're the same size. 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
1402 Sorry. No one told me there was a dress code. 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
1403 Joe has my coat. 1.2857 0.05696 105 82 16 7
1404 Apparently, these are considered "gang colors" in Clown Town. 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
1405 I wasn't ready... 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
1406 I lost my coat of many colors, but I was hoping I could get in with just the pants. 1.2857 0.04630 147 113 26 8
1407 Nobody ever said anything about a dress code! 1.2857 0.04344 126 92 32 2
1408 What can I say, they were on sale. 1.2857 0.05802 98 76 16 6
1409 The coat was taken, but I'm still your man 1.2857 0.05295 112 86 20 6
1410 I was struck by lightning on the 13th tee. 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
1411 They're not as loud as your harps, I can tell you that. 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
1412 I admit that I've had a checkered past. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
1413 Can't let you in wearing those pants. 1.2857 0.04528 147 112 28 7
1414 He's gonna love my stained glass pants. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
1415 Think of it as my shout out to that rainbow thing thou did. 1.2857 0.05802 98 76 16 6
1416 Judge a man not by the color of his pants, but by the content of his character 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1417 Lucky for you that I'm not with the Fashion Police. 1.2846 0.04663 130 98 27 5
1418 It's not just a black and white issue, Lord. 1.2846 0.04912 130 100 23 7
1419 Tell Joseph I've brought him the bottom half of his suit. 1.2846 0.05230 123 96 19 8
1420 Struck by lightening on the golf course. 1.2846 0.05230 123 96 19 8
1421 Prioritize, my child! Checkered past or checkered pants? 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1422 That’s one hell of a pair of pants. I think you might be in the wrong place. 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1423 Black tie only. 1.2846 0.04548 123 91 29 3
1424 Sticks and stones, Pete. Sticks and stones. 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
1425 Do you allow walk-ons, or is this a members-only club? 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
1426 Not in those pants, you’re not. 1.2845 0.05020 116 88 23 5
1427 Mr. Mondrian is going to be upset 1.2845 0.05449 116 91 17 8
1428 Wait a minute! I see you have a checkered past! 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
1429 Sure, why not. You should have seen the last guy. 1.2845 0.04868 116 87 25 4
1430 Actually, I'm more worried about my checkered past. 1.2844 0.05229 109 83 21 5
1431 You must be my new caddy. 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
1432 I'm afraid "golf" is no excuse. 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
1433 Could never solve that cube and now it’s with me forever. 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1434 Joseph said to deliver these personally. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
1435 Wait, since when is a faux pas a sin? 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
1436 What's THAT supposed to mean - "the devil is in the details"? 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
1437 Here in heaven, we frown upon lawyers who've had a checkered past! 1.2836 0.05148 134 106 18 10
1438 Yes but I golf on Sundays 1.2836 0.04691 134 102 26 6
1439 At least I'm not wearing tassel loafers. 1.2835 0.04860 127 97 24 6
1440 Judge me not by the color of my pants, but by the content of my character. 1.2835 0.05465 127 102 14 11
1441 I'm not going to be the only one. That tornado you sent went right through our company golf tournament. 1.2835 0.05111 127 99 20 8
1442 Sorry, golf is really more of a hell thing. 1.2835 0.04860 127 97 24 6
1443 Could’ve been worse. At least I wasn’t found on the toilet. 1.2833 0.04457 120 88 30 2
1444 Yes, the pants are cool, but matching wings would be too much. 1.2833 0.05447 120 95 16 9
1445 A stroke on a golf course… I get it… but I still don’t think it’s funny. 1.2833 0.04761 120 90 26 4
1446 My name's Joe and these are my pants of many colors. 1.2833 0.04611 120 89 28 3
1447 I think my ball landed somewhere over here. Ironically, it was a hell of a slice. 1.2833 0.05317 120 94 18 8
1448 Unexpected accident, no time to change 1.2832 0.04944 113 85 24 4
1449 This is the first time we have not been able to forgive a sin. 1.2832 0.05102 113 86 22 5
1450 The Queen was able to pick just one color ... 1.2832 0.05254 113 87 20 6
1451 I thought this was going to be on Zoom. 1.2832 0.05547 113 89 16 8
1452 So no golf? 1.2832 0.05254 113 87 20 6
1453 You mean I can't be cool in Heaven? 1.2832 0.05102 113 86 22 5
1454 The label promised a heavenly fit. 1.2832 0.04527 113 85 25 3
1455 Hmm, let me guess. Struck by lightning at the golf course? 1.2830 0.05648 106 83 16 7
1456 It's stained glass window couture. 1.2830 0.05487 106 82 18 6
1457 Are you the starter? I’ve got an 8:20 tee time. 1.2828 0.05927 99 78 14 7
1458 No one ever said anything about a dress code to me! 1.2828 0.05380 99 75 20 4
1459 So you're telling me a fashion sin is still a sin? I want to talk to a manager. 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
1460 Sorry, we have a dress code here. Go to hell. 1.2828 0.05927 99 78 14 7
1461 Welcome. We need to talk about your shirt. 1.2828 0.05750 99 77 16 6
1462 I hope heaven doesn’t have a dress code. 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
1463 Welcome to Hell. The golf course is on your right. 1.2826 0.04712 138 106 25 7
1464 If you send me back, I'll bring you a pair. 1.2826 0.04823 138 107 23 8
1465 Ok, fine. I'll give you 'Crime against fashion'. But is it really a sin? 1.2826 0.04239 138 102 33 3
1466 You'll need a matching tie. 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1467 Lightning, while golfing. 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1468 I'm looking for Joseph - he's got my sports jacket." 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1469 It's your fault! I lost a bet about your existence! 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1470 Do you mind if I just walk through? 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1471 Anna Wintour carries a gun" 1.2823 0.05317 124 98 17 9
1472 So plaid will be in for eternity?” 1.2823 0.04589 124 95 24 5
1473 Just because they were on sale doesn’t mean you had to buy them 1.2823 0.05439 124 99 15 10
1474 In my defense, Jacob had a coat of many colors. 1.2821 0.04529 156 121 26 9
1475 No we don’t take walk-ins in the main room but I do have a table for one in limbo. 1.2821 0.05270 117 91 19 7
1476 I know, I know, I should have worn a mask. 1.2821 0.05543 117 93 15 9
1477 My early life was really quite boring so I believe that is likely a typo. I assume it should read, “Toward the end of his life Dale was known for his checkered PANTS.” 1.2821 0.04832 117 88 25 4
1478 But I was told plaid is a 'go anywhere' look. 1.2821 0.05543 117 93 15 9
1479 I'm worried they'll clash with the wings. 1.2821 0.04832 117 88 25 4
1480 Yes, I am a card-carrying WASP. What gave it away? 1.2819 0.04268 149 112 32 5
1481 I call it the Day Of Astonishment. 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
1482 Can you tell Joseph his tailor is here? 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
1483 I said I needed help with my checkered PAST. 1.2818 0.05500 110 86 17 7
1484 God damn it! I was 2 strokes ahead when I got the stroke. 1.2818 0.05500 110 86 17 7
1485 I’m sorry, but a crime of fashion is taken quite seriously up here. 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
1486 My golf scorecard isn’t that great, either. 1.2818 0.05649 110 87 15 8
1487 What was Commandment 6 again? 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1488 Would He buy that I was just making a Dad joke? 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1489 I took a chance with the pants because I don't believe in a jealous God. 1.2815 0.05114 135 107 18 10
1490 Madras didn't work on Earth, nor does it in heavens. 1.2815 0.04778 135 104 24 7
1491 At the time I got them just for the hell of it. 1.2812 0.04827 128 98 24 6
1492 I'm Bob with the Amazing Technicolor Dream pants. 1.2812 0.05278 96 72 21 3
1493 But they distract from my baldness. 1.2812 0.05195 128 101 18 9
1494 I saw the thunderstorm coming but I was about to break par and win twenty dollars from my brother. 1.2812 0.05195 128 101 18 9
1495 Sorry Saint Peter, but it’s Wednesday and I have a tee time in 15 minutes. 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
1496 Would you ask Joseph if I might borrow his coat? 1.2812 0.05868 96 75 15 6
1497 You’re saying my checkered pants have finally caught up with me? 1.2812 0.04845 96 70 25 1
1498 I can see now that I’ve been a clown. 1.2812 0.05868 96 75 15 6
1499 oh, cut it out. have you seen what the Pope wears? 1.2812 0.04698 128 97 26 5
1500 I'm sorry but I did not have time to change on the golf course. 1.2810 0.05407 121 96 16 9
1501 I can't forgive those pants. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
1502 They said we could wear whatever made us happy—“ “Whatever makes ME happy. Now go change 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
1503 Is Joseph home? I think he has my jacket. 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
1504 No one mentioned the dress code. 1.2808 0.04319 146 110 31 5
1505 You go crazy once in your life and this is what happens? 1.2808 0.04835 146 115 21 10
1506 Please look again. It's Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreampants. 1.2808 0.04319 146 110 31 5
1507 At least my seven iron survived the lightning. 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
1508 Well, I was hoping just to play through. 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
1509 I thought wearing dead stock would be appropriate. 1.2807 0.04907 114 86 24 4
1510 Yeah,well,if I had known this morning I would be spending all of eternity in these,I wouldn't have been so bold. 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
1511 Someone told me that only God knows where my ball ended up . By the way, it was a Wilson 3. 1.2807 0.04907 114 86 24 4
1512 Fashion hell is to your right. 1.2807 0.05503 114 90 16 8
1513 I’m sorry about Joseph’s coat. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1514 I started in Purgatory in 1976 1.2804 0.04932 107 80 24 3
1515 Sorry, but jackets are required here. 1.2804 0.05277 107 82 20 5
1516 So, what you’re saying is: it’s not the fact that my slice killed my caddie, it’s the pants. 1.2804 0.05602 107 84 16 7
1517 I'm Mr Rubik? 1.2803 0.04847 132 102 23 7
1518 But you liked Joseph's coat, right?. 1.2800 0.05279 125 99 17 9
1519 It's Purgatory for you until you realize what's wrong with those pants. 1.2800 0.04765 125 95 25 5
1520 Those pants definitely belong in hell. 1.2797 0.05231 118 92 19 7
1521 Apparently it was a bit too loud for hell. 1.2797 0.04797 118 89 25 4
1522 Well, I WAS going to let you in. 1.2797 0.05090 118 91 21 6
1523 Give us our John Daly bread. 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
1524 But, you have to give me credit for shopping at Goodwill. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
1525 He sent me right back up here, not even a chuckle. 1.2794 0.04748 136 105 24 7
1526 I'm looking for Rodney Dangerfield 1.2793 0.05604 111 88 15 8
1527 I’m just not a pastel kind of guy 1.2793 0.04645 111 82 27 2
1528 I just never had the guts to wear these down there. 1.2793 0.05889 111 90 11 10
1529 Don't be so judgmental. 1.2793 0.04985 111 84 23 4
1530 When did it dawn on you that life is no circus? 1.2793 0.05456 111 87 17 7
1531 Not a chance. 1.2791 0.05041 129 101 20 8
1532 No worries. You should see what I'm wearing. 1.2788 0.05543 104 81 17 6
1533 Sorry. Those pants are a mortal sin. 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
1534 Yeah I know, a bit gaudy. 1.2788 0.05372 104 80 19 5
1535 Why when I was looking at a four foot eagle putt? 1.2788 0.05012 104 78 23 3
1536 But I heard there was no accounting for taste 1.2788 0.05372 104 80 19 5
1537 Do I get any credit for the pants? I bought them at a Good Will. 1.2787 0.04836 122 93 24 5
1538 I apologize for the frustration my cube caused. 1.2787 0.04836 122 93 24 5
1539 The heavenly printer is low on ink. 1.2787 0.05367 122 97 16 9
1540 You would be Joseph and his Pants of Many Colors? 1.2787 0.04694 122 92 26 4
1541 OK, one free point for the whimsical pants. 1.2787 0.04974 122 94 22 6
1542 Does Joseph want his amazing technicolor dreampants back? 1.2787 0.04836 122 93 24 5
1543 I should've worn shorts. 1.2786 0.04653 140 108 25 7
1544 We only do grey around here. 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
1545 Long story, but I died in a clown school dressing room. 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
1546 You can't go in wearing those pants. 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
1547 ... and I thought she was exaggerating when she said they were a sin. 1.2783 0.05024 115 88 22 5
1548 I felt like I needed to make a statement. 1.2783 0.04375 115 84 30 1
1549 I was trying to differentiate myself. I knew the Devil Wears Prada. 1.2783 0.05174 115 89 20 6
1550 It’s Vintage. 1.2783 0.05319 115 90 18 7
1551 I see you’re checkering in… 1.2783 0.05319 115 90 18 7
1552 I figured you guys like stained glass, so... 1.2778 0.04893 108 81 24 3
1553 You can stay, but the pants gotta go. 1.2778 0.04893 108 81 24 3
1554 When you know you're going to Hell so you just don't care anymore 1.2778 0.04893 108 81 24 3
1555 Do you have a bathroom? 1.2778 0.05709 108 86 14 8
1556 Nope. You go straight to Hell. 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1557 C'mon, Pete. Clearly I'm dressed for an eternity of leisure. 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1558 I can forgive everything but those pants. 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
1559 Are my pants going to present a problem? 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
1560 I can’t say I’m really surprised. I was also too cool for school. 1.2778 0.05067 108 82 22 4
1561 Did I take the road less traveled 1.2778 0.05067 108 82 22 4
1562 I'm a member 1.2778 0.06005 108 88 10 10
1563 Well, if you would give me an hour back on Earth, I could change them and come back. 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1564 No need to be so judgmental about my pants 1.2773 0.05192 119 93 19 7
1565 Bud Collins has been waiting for you to arrive. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
1566 Actually, they're not pants. This is all that was left of my parachute. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1567 It's my own version of Dress for Success. Whaddya think? 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1568 Satan said 'Hard pass!' 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1569 They wouldn't let me in down there. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1570 don't hate the playa 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1571 Where’s the pro-shop? 1.2770 0.04375 148 113 29 6
1572 I wasn't sure if I should wear a tie, but nothing matched. 1.2769 0.05006 130 102 20 8
1573 And just who are you to sit in judgment of my plaid pants? 1.2768 0.05412 112 88 17 7
1574 I don't know either, bro! 1.2768 0.04781 112 84 25 3
1575 They wouldn't let me bring my clubs. 1.2768 0.05262 112 87 19 6
1576 They said, 'Hell,no,not in those trousers.’ 1.2768 0.05702 112 90 13 9
1577 I would have changed if I’d known….. 1.2768 0.04947 112 85 23 4
1578 What do you mean, “It’s me or the pants?” 1.2768 0.05107 112 86 21 5
1579 Hey, you would have let Harry Styles in with these. 1.2768 0.05107 112 86 21 5
1580 I honestly didn’t think a deadly fashion sin would make me end up here. 1.2766 0.04879 94 69 24 1
1581 This is why we needed an 11th commandment. 1.2766 0.04838 141 111 21 9
1582 The coat? Joe took it. 1.2766 0.06126 94 75 12 7
1583 Will I get wings to match these pants? 1.2766 0.04838 141 111 21 9
1584 I'm picking up a judgmental vibe here. 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
1585 All togs go to heaven 1.2766 0.06126 94 75 12 7
1586 Sorry, but I didn't have time to put on dress slacks. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
1587 Hey, my eyes are up here, Sir. 1.2764 0.05202 123 97 18 8
1588 I didn't know fashion sins counted. 1.2762 0.04972 105 79 23 3
1589 You won't let me in because of that? 1.2762 0.05496 105 82 17 6
1590 Jackets only? 1.2762 0.05820 105 84 13 8
1591 This place could use a little color. 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
1592 So maybe I did play golf on an occasional Sunday 1.2761 0.04418 134 101 29 4
1593 Have you seen a yellow Titleist? 1.2759 0.05135 116 90 20 6
1594 In my defense, I got them from Barneys when Barneys was Barneys. 1.2759 0.05556 116 93 14 9
1595 if I didn’t take them with me, she was going to burn them 1.2759 0.05135 116 90 20 6
1596 Well, first I lost my sense of taste... 1.2756 0.04700 127 97 25 5
1597 Last I checked, bad taste wasn’t on the list 1.2756 0.05205 127 101 17 9
1598 Here, Bob could not escape his checkered past. 1.2756 0.04427 127 95 29 3
1599 I heard lack of good taste was not a “sin.” 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
1600 Lucky for you fashion crimes don't count here. 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
1601 I guess I'll find out how lucky these pants really are. 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
1602 It's not "come as you are"? 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1603 Once I got to the nursing home, it was inevitable I would die in my bingo pants. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1604 I'm sorry Peter, when my wife said these pants were social suicide I didn't know she really meant it. 1.2754 0.04456 138 105 28 5
1605 Do I have time to go home and change? 1.2752 0.04676 109 81 26 2
1606 I can’t seat you until your entire party is here 1.2752 0.05193 109 84 20 5
1607 Those are the pants you chose for eternity? 1.2752 0.05662 109 87 14 8
1608 And what are you wearing, smarty pants? 1.2752 0.05027 109 83 22 4
1609 I wanted to dress to impress. 1.2752 0.04244 149 113 31 5
1610 You keep track of what we wear too? 1.2752 0.04553 149 116 25 8
1611 If I'd known it was today, I wouldn't have worn these pants. 1.2750 0.05893 80 61 16 3
1612 I thought the line would be longer. 1.2750 0.04578 120 90 27 3
1613 No tie, no jacket, no service. 1.2750 0.05153 120 94 19 7
1614 Well yes, they are called Go to Hell pants. 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1615 I was told, "elegant casual." 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
1616 Those are unforgiveable! 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
1617 I thought dead men don't wear plaid. 1.2747 0.06066 91 72 13 6
1618 Where do I find the other three golfers of the apocalypse? 1.2747 0.06066 91 72 13 6
1619 I've already plead guilty to the fashion police. 1.2745 0.05424 102 79 18 5
1620 Do not pass go, do not collect $200 1.2745 0.05424 102 79 18 5
1621 Why did you ask if my grandfather was Piet Mondrian? 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
1622 Who knew heaven had a dress code? 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
1623 Yes, my name is Roy G. Biv. 1.2745 0.05601 102 80 16 6
1624 It was my day off. 1.2745 0.04172 153 116 32 5
1625 I dress for the afterlife I want, not the afterlife I have. 1.2745 0.04957 102 79 19 4
1626 Well, can I at least use your restroom? 1.2743 0.04745 113 85 25 3
1627 Sorry,I'm coming from a Zoom meeting. 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
1628 Sorry, you have long passed your “best before” date. 1.2743 0.04745 113 85 25 3
1629 I have a tee time. 1.2743 0.04745 113 85 25 3
1630 Colorful, sure — but I wouldn’t go so far as to say checkered. 1.2743 0.04909 113 86 23 4
1631 I know about your checkered past. 1.2743 0.05370 113 89 17 7
1632 They ran out of dreamcoats in my size. 1.2742 0.05164 124 98 18 8
1633 Joseph's got nothing on me. 1.2742 0.05164 124 98 18 8
1634 What do you mean there are rules about pants up here! 1.2742 0.04768 124 95 24 5
1635 Don't take this the wrong way, but can you please take off your pants? 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1636 I’m dying to know what color pants your wearing. 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
1637 Yes, it is about the pants. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
1638 And God identifies this plaid with WHAT clan, excuse me, tribe, with whom He's been feuding for HOW many centuries? 1.2737 0.06427 95 78 8 9
1639 I guess you have HOLY water hazards here, hunh ? 1.2736 0.05110 106 81 21 4
1640 My wife says it's mortal but I say it's venial. 1.2736 0.05613 106 84 15 7
1641 So one minute I'm out at Bedminister playing golf with Trump & next minute I'm here. 1.2736 0.05110 106 81 21 4
1642 Every time I wore these, my wife said 'Oh, for Heaven's sake. 1.2736 0.05110 106 81 21 4
1643 Since when is there a dress code? 1.2736 0.05613 106 84 15 7
1644 Let me go back and I swear I’ll never wear them again. 1.2736 0.05110 106 81 21 4
1645 Wrong pants or the wrong place? I 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
1646 My greatest sin is my fashion sense. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
1647 So this isn't the New York Public Library? 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
1648 They were a gift from my ex-wife. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
1649 I hoped my pants of many colors might help my case. 1.2735 0.05378 117 93 16 8
1650 Heaven has fashion police? 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
1651 The 1st tee is just past beyond that 3rd cloud . . . 1.2734 0.04798 128 99 23 6
1652 Have you seen a titleist prov1 with a shamrock on it? 1.2734 0.04658 139 108 24 7
1653 I admit to a checkered career, but in my defense, I wear it well. 1.2727 0.04674 143 112 23 8
1654 I've clashed with almost everyone I've met. 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
1655 These aren't my pants. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1656 We have a special place for you. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1657 But they were a Fathers Day Gift. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1658 It hints at a checkered past but plays well with the redemptive qualities of the starched white shirt. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1659 I was about to bogie. 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1660 Sorry, I died on the golf course. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
1661 What do you mean wearing these ought to be a sin? 1.2727 0.05116 121 95 19 7
1662 I know they're a sin, but they were on sale. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
1663 Do fashion crimes count as sins? 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1664 Do I check out? 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
1665 But it was after Labor Day 1.2727 0.04640 110 82 26 2
1666 Well,I did accept millions of $$$ from Saudi blood money just to play golf,but I only wanted to grow the game. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
1667 Think Joseph's Coat. 1.2727 0.04979 121 94 21 6
1668 You mean you don't have matching wings? 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1669 I know, it's usually men who are color blind, but in my case, it's my wife. 1.2727 0.04632 154 122 22 10
1670 I heard you like colorful characters. 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
1671 I don’t suppose I could get a Mulligan? 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
1672 I admit that the decision you face is not exactly black and white. 1.2727 0.04979 121 94 21 6
1673 No, I haven't seen your golf ball 1.2727 0.04979 121 94 21 6
1674 Being the author of The Preppy Handbook has to count for something! 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1675 There are worse sins, your honor. 1.2727 0.04391 121 90 29 2
1676 I wasn’t sure whether to dress for heaven or hell. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1677 Look, I lost a bet, I don't want to talk about it. 1.2720 0.04597 125 95 26 4
1678 Would a matching coat and tie satisfy your dress code?" 1.2720 0.05000 125 98 20 7
1679 Married 45 years; my wife said she couldn’t solve me. 1.2720 0.05000 125 98 20 7
1680 Are you going to just stand there and judge me? 1.2720 0.04735 125 96 24 5
1681 Sorry, She doesn't allow anything that clashes with purple. 1.2720 0.05000 125 98 20 7
1682 I used to call them my lucky pants... 1.2719 0.05328 114 90 17 7
1683 I just can’t understand why my wife murdered me. 1.2719 0.05472 114 91 15 8
1684 I was supposed to play golf with John Daly today. 1.2718 0.05012 103 78 22 3
1685 My homage to Joseph's coat of many colors. 1.2718 0.05012 103 78 22 3
1686 So, NO daily special? 1.2718 0.05721 103 82 14 7
1687 BIG points for the crazy pants! Come on in! 1.2718 0.05198 103 79 20 4
1688 But I heard God loves squares? 1.2718 0.04616 103 76 26 1
1689 You remember Joseph and the Coat of Many Colors? Well, I'm Harold and the chinos of too many colors. 1.2718 0.05721 103 82 14 7
1690 The sin of clashing colors? 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1691 I think I’m okay under Matthew, chapter 6, verse 25. 1.2717 0.05150 92 69 21 2
1692 The people downstairs said they wouldn't take me either. 1.2714 0.04282 140 106 30 4
1693 I'm here to get my dreamcoat back from Joseph. 1.2713 0.04637 129 99 25 5
1694 I hope comfort isn't a sin. 1.2712 0.04449 118 88 28 2
1695 Wearing plaid is the the eighth deadly sin!? 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1696 Nobody said anything about a dress code. 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
1697 I wouldn’t call avant-garde a sin, per se. 1.2710 0.05566 107 85 15 7
1698 Traffic accident. How'd you know? 1.2710 0.05069 107 82 21 4
1699 I'm hoping that I'm somewhere over the rainbow. 1.2710 0.05405 107 84 17 6
1700 They sent me back. 1.2710 0.05566 107 85 15 7
1701 It's a tattoo. 1.2710 0.05722 107 86 13 8
1702 They’re my mom’s 1.2710 0.05566 107 85 15 7
1703 On the upside, the golfing is endless. 1.2708 0.06012 96 77 12 7
1704 So....How does Heaven stack up against Greenwich, CT? 1.2708 0.04320 144 110 29 5
1705 Who the hell told you there was no dress code in heaven? 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1706 I guess I caught you on the 17th hole! 1.2708 0.04907 96 74 19 3
1707 Hey, who stole your ears? 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1708 I have a matching Christmas sweater too! 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
1709 Hmm checkered past 1.2708 0.05826 96 76 14 6
1710 Oh, dear - I dressed for a Zoom interview. 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1711 Actually, there IS a dress code. 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
1712 Do these pants make me look fat? 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
1713 I generally dress snazzy for big events. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
1714 Well, I guess my worst fault would be poor taste... 1.2705 0.04804 122 94 23 5
1715 Can you tell me if I would've made that putt if I hadn't been struck by lightning? 1.2703 0.05111 111 86 20 5
1716 I got them at the duty-free shop in Purgatory. 1.2703 0.05269 111 87 18 6
1717 Nice pants—of course who am I to judge? 1.2703 0.05111 111 86 20 5
1718 What's wrong with golf? 1.2700 0.05385 100 80 14 6
1719 They need to be washed with cold water and then air dried.” 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
1720 I didn't feel the white robe did me justice. 1.2700 0.05096 100 76 21 3
1721 Of all the days, Lord, you had to take me on casual Friday 1.2700 0.04574 100 76 22 2
1722 But I was on Zoom. Nobody saw them. 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
1723 I’m just saying, what a day to take a risk 1.2700 0.05096 100 76 21 3
1724 I have a 7:15 tee time. 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
1725 Some color for some hair. even trade? 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1726 Religion? I'm of the Mosaic persuasion. 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
1727 Did my clubs survive the lightning strike, and how soon can I resume play? 1.2696 0.05429 115 92 15 8
1728 So I'm forgiven for everything except these pants? 1.2696 0.04508 115 86 27 2
1729 Chalk it up to a colorfully checkered past. 1.2696 0.05568 115 93 13 9
1730 I'm sorry, but it is a sin to wear those pants. 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
1731 I'm feeling a little judged. 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1732 No there isn’t an official dress code, but, this just won’t do. 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1733 can I keep the tee time I had below? 1.2692 0.05672 104 83 14 7
1734 Tee time? 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
1735 “Ooh! I’ve waited for decades to say this… Here comes the Hammer!” 1.2692 0.05333 104 81 18 5
1736 It's my take on "the coat of many colours". 1.2692 0.05672 104 83 14 7
1737 Sorry about the pants. I assumed it was going to be a virtual meeting. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
1738 Those pants are considered the eighth deadly sin. 1.2692 0.05834 104 84 12 8
1739 They were on sale. 1.2692 0.04970 104 79 22 3
1740 Before we get started, I'd like to explain why I kicked my ball out of the woods on 18. 1.2692 0.04102 156 119 32 5
1741 They're not pants. They're pyjama bottoms. 1.2689 0.04575 119 90 26 3
1742 It’s what we call Casual Friday.” 1.2689 0.04877 119 92 22 5
1743 It was casual Friday at work. 1.2688 0.05327 93 71 19 3
1744 We usually don’t enforce our dress code; but I just can’t let you in with those pants” 1.2688 0.05542 93 72 17 4
1745 Perhaps these trousers are penance enough? 1.2688 0.05542 93 72 17 4
1746 Sorry, but no one who submits captions to the New Yorker gets into heaven. 1.2688 0.05949 93 74 13 6
1747 It was a slow death. 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
1748 It's not your time yet. Go back and watch The Devil Wears Prada. 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
1749 Where else could I wear my 'Go To Hell' pants? 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
1750 Hhmmm….lived a colorful life. 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
1751 I heard this place was restricted, but this is ridiculous. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
1752 Mondrian had a line of trousers. 1.2683 0.05172 123 98 17 8
1753 Wearing a bad fathers day gift is not enough to get you into heaven 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1754 I too use pajamas pants since we started work from pedestal. 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1755 Years and years of going to church and not once was a dress code mentioned. 1.2683 0.04628 123 94 25 4
1756 Are you telling me that heaven has a stricter dress code than my golf club because that’s pretty messed up. 1.2683 0.05172 123 98 17 8
1757 I'm here to party 1.2681 0.04883 138 110 19 9
1758 Time of death: hammer time, am I right? 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1759 Any other regrets? Just— Now that you’re here. Anything you wish you could take back? 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1760 I heard clowns and comics are granted automatic admission 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1761 Did it have to be right before my eagle putt? 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1762 So I said 'Get rid of these pants? Over my dead body!' 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1763 No halo. Rainbow suspenders, please 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
1764 Sorry, Joseph wore it better. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1765 I promised my wife that I’d return these pants. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1766 'They also come in beige and herringbone.' 1.2677 0.04802 127 99 22 6
1767 Can I go back for the shirt? 1.2677 0.04802 127 99 22 6
1768 Colored pants after Labor Day is a big no no up here. 1.2674 0.05341 86 65 19 2
1769 Sorry, we have a dress code. 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
1770 I’m surprised that this counts against me up here too. 1.2674 0.06282 86 69 11 6
1771 What the hell are you wearing? 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
1772 Sorry, I can’t let you in. We have a very strict dress code. 1.2673 0.05245 101 78 19 4
1773 Can I get a tee time? 1.2673 0.05052 101 77 21 3
1774 Am I really going to get to SEE and PUTT with Arnold Palmer in Heaven?? 1.2673 0.05245 101 78 19 4
1775 We tend to favor the lame and the blind. Go on in. 1.2673 0.06116 101 83 9 9
1776 I always said that my friends could call me ‘crazy pants’ until the day I died. 1.2673 0.05052 101 77 21 3
1777 Beats getting caught with ‘em down, I suppose. 1.2673 0.05430 101 79 17 5
1778 Wait, you don't like them either? 1.2673 0.05430 101 79 17 5
1779 That's an automatic year in Preppy purgatory. 1.2673 0.05610 101 80 15 6
1780 Yes - they are patchwork. Why are you writing that down? 1.2673 0.05052 101 77 21 3
1781 Last thing I remember saying was ‘well, if God doesn’t appreciate fashion, then strike me dead’ 1.2673 0.05783 101 81 13 7
1782 Those would go well with Daniel’s coat 1.2673 0.05610 101 80 15 6
1783 No golf course? 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
1784 I had a dream that you'd let me in. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1785 ...and I once threw my ball out of the trap on to the green. 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
1786 It's the British Racing Green Metallic Mini Cooper. 1.2672 0.05387 116 93 15 8
1787 Really? Fashion faux pas is a MORTAL sin? 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1788 No coloured allowed 1.2672 0.04825 131 103 21 7
1789 Sorry, I had a heart attack at the golf course. I didn't have a chance to change. 1.2671 0.04110 161 124 31 6
1790 Can someone with ridiculous pants like mine get in? 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1791 Heaven is basically a quiet place. You'll never get in with those pants. 1.2667 0.05458 105 83 16 6
1792 What do you mean ⁉️ I don’t meet the dress code It’s after Labor Day. ‼️ 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
1793 Name's Joseph. I didn't have time to get my coat. 1.2667 0.04740 105 79 24 2
1794 You can stay, but those pants have to go! 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1795 What? This is today's dress code on Tik tok !! 1.2667 0.04543 105 78 26 1
1796 I was summering on Martha‘s 1.2667 0.04929 105 80 22 3
1797 $49.95 at Walmart, why? 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
1798 Sorry.God hates them. 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
1799 That's what you're wearing? 1.2667 0.07187 75 62 6 7
1800 I think I dressed for the wrong thing. 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
1801 Will I be the only one in plaid? 1.2667 0.05458 105 83 16 6
1802 But, they’re my pants of many colors! 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1803 I only got the pants of many colors. My brother Joseph got the coat. You know the trouble that caused. 1.2662 0.04632 139 109 23 7
1804 The Lord, my God, is a forgiving God. 1.2661 0.04596 124 95 25 4
1805 Wife said "if you buy those pants you can go to hell." Guess she was wrong again. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
1806 What do you mean you have standards! 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
1807 Can I get a second opinion? 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
1808 Who do you think tipped off the feds about Mar-a-Lago? 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
1809 Those pants. Omg, I’m dying. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1810 I am here to return Joseph's pants. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1811 I was expecting heavenly hosts, not a bouncer. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1812 Chose a bad day to wear my mom's birthday gift 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1813 Not with those pants, buddy. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
1814 Duffer; party of four? 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
1815 I hear golfers report in at the 19th hole. 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
1816 Do I get to keep my tee time? 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
1817 You can come in, but those pants have to stay down there. 1.2656 0.04365 128 97 28 3
1818 On the bright side, I am wearing my good luck pants. 1.2655 0.04707 113 86 24 3
1819 Just thought that folks could use a little more mirth in their after-lives. 1.2655 0.04872 113 87 22 4
1820 Am I in time for tee off? 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1821 Thank you, I like them, too. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1822 I wore these because I was told it is no longer whites only 1.2653 0.05720 98 78 14 6
1823 Do you have a tie to go with those pants? 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1824 Robes just aren't my thing. 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1825 Sure, you're going to Heaven, but whoever sold you those pants is going to Hell. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1826 We have a strict dress code... 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1827 I also designed the Norwegian curling pants. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1828 It was the pants that got me killed... 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
1829 Be bold,” they said. “No judgement,” they said. 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
1830 In my defense, they were a birthday present from my wife. 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
1831 Forgive me god, I know these pants are a sin 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
1832 Let me guess. Joseph is your better half. 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1833 In my defense, they make my butt look great. 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1834 Well, you *were* on the list... 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1835 God discovering the 8th Deadly Sin. 1.2650 0.05346 117 94 15 8
1836 I forgot what I was going to ask you. 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
1837 I knew nobody was going to believe that hole in one. 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
1838 They’re Aimé Leon Dore! 1.2647 0.05561 102 81 15 6
1839 When are cocktails? 1.2645 0.04947 121 95 20 6
1840 Everyone did seem to consider me a colorful character 1.2645 0.05084 121 96 18 7
1841 Now I remember what the 11th Commandment was. 1.2645 0.04586 121 95 21 5
1842 A lightning strike on the golf course wasn’t fair 1.2645 0.05349 121 98 14 9
1843 Egads! You are very, very fortunate...did I say "very?"... that God is COLORBLIND... 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
1844 I didn't exactly plan on dying in the middle of changing in a thrift store. 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
1845 Your wife must have murdered you in your sleep. Am I right? 1.2642 0.04889 106 81 22 3
1846 Yeah, my wife didn't like them either. 1.2642 0.05576 106 85 14 7
1847 It's the plaid pants, isn't it? 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
1848 They’re my lucky golf pants… 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
1849 I can tell you have an eye for fashion. 1.2642 0.04889 106 81 22 3
1850 Never let your grandnieces lay out your funeral clothes, am I right? 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
1851 I was hoping to add "Joie De Vivre" to my list of accomplishments... 1.2640 0.04420 125 95 27 3
1852 Sorry. You caught me with my pants on. 1.2637 0.05813 91 72 14 5
1853 Is it the bow tie? 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
1854 I see you were playing golf in a thunderstorm. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
1855 Does being a Rubik's Cube master count for anything around here? 1.2636 0.04776 110 84 23 3
1856 You JUST got in 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
1857 Yes, you can say that I have had a checkered past, but as you can see, it's all behind me now. 1.2636 0.04336 129 98 28 3
1858 At least I didn’t cheat. Whoever put quicksand in the sand trap, they cheated. 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
1859 What? No Casual Friday? 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1860 It was the 60's, what can I say? 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1861 Sorry, those pants are too loud for our noise restrictions. 1.2632 0.06588 76 61 10 5
1862 Seriously? No one told you those were a sin? 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1863 Well, Joseph had that coat, didn't he, so why can't I have the pants of many colors? 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
1864 But you let Joseph keep his coat! 1.2632 0.06025 95 77 11 7
1865 Yes, we do require pants, but not those. 1.2632 0.05837 95 76 13 6
1866 When in Florida… 1.2632 0.04502 114 86 26 2
1867 I’ll need you to check your pants at the narrow gate. 1.2632 0.04515 133 103 25 5
1868 It was Spielberg's idea! 1.2632 0.05294 114 91 16 7
1869 I wear the pants around here 1.2632 0.05884 76 61 11 4
1870 I was told I could pull this off if I just believed. 1.2627 0.04728 118 91 23 4
1871 John Daly is my nephew.” 1.2627 0.04410 118 89 27 2
1872 Did you happen to see a Titleist come by this way? 1.2627 0.04728 118 91 23 4
1873 If you need my name, it's Piet Mondrian. 1.2627 0.05167 118 94 17 7
1874 I ask no forgiveness for the choices I have made. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1875 These slacks kept me out of hell. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1876 So now fashion sins count? 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1877 What! you're the one who made me color blind 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1878 It says here you have a checkered history 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
1879 No, we don't have a matching robe! 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1880 What do you mean there are no mulligans? 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1881 OK, fine, I'll change my pants. 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
1882 We really got to get that disco glitch looked at! 1.2626 0.05094 99 76 20 3
1883 Sorry, we have already filled our quota of golf club members. 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
1884 Have you seen a Titleist 4 around here? 1.2626 0.05094 99 76 20 3
1885 Oh, now the pants I can’t account for so I’ll just have to blame the late-stage dementia. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1886 I was hoping that when I died I could patch things up. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1887 I have to know who your stylist is! Oh! Silly me, I have the big book right here. 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
1888 They pants were a lapse of judgement and wrong; for that I apologize, but they do not reflect the person I am today. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
1889 Check the list again. I'm Erno Rubik. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
1890 I figured the golf would be great in paradise. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
1891 I was hoping there'd be golf. 1.2621 0.05512 103 82 15 6
1892 I figure I owed myself to go in style. 1.2621 0.04772 103 78 23 2
1893 True. I did choose LIV over PGA. 1.2621 0.04772 103 78 23 2
1894 You can come in, but your pants can go to hell 1.2621 0.04967 103 79 21 3
1895 Where's Joseph? I wanted to ask him to return my coat. 1.2621 0.04671 103 80 20 3
1896 Under new management? 1.2621 0.04967 103 79 21 3
1897 'NOW you call me?' 1.2621 0.05512 103 82 15 6
1898 So... no casual Fridays? 1.2619 0.05062 126 101 17 8
1899 I need to change my tee time. 1.2617 0.05200 107 84 18 5
1900 Last thing I remember was joining the Zoom meeting, and now I’m here. 1.2617 0.05200 107 84 18 5
1901 They used to be a coat 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
1902 All my other clothes were in the laundry. 1.2614 0.06153 88 71 11 6
1903 If I tell you I died on a golf course, you'll know I'm lying right? 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1904 I understand someone inside has my matching jacket. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
1905 What do you mean that you don’t have matching wings? 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
1906 Seven years of purgatory for these pants? 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1907 I get it, but I still need the last four digits of your social." 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1908 Would you rather I took them off? 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1909 I'm sorry but you have to carry your own clubs. 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1910 I hope you like my haute couture. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1911 I’d like to go back as a Rubik’s cube, please. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1912 So this is what happens to cancelled statues. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1913 I helped many children laugh when i wore these clown pants but i confess i sent a few screaming in fear 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
1914 I'm guessing you're the bouncer? 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
1915 Hi I'm here to 'check-er' into Heaven. 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
1916 I expected the line to be longer. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1917 Dolly Parton sent me 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
1918 The special place in Hell was full. 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1919 I have the same pair! 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
1920 Who hasn't wanted to be a rebel? 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
1921 You didn't give me time to get dressed. 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
1922 You can start by explaining your checkered past. 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1923 But they're ethically sourced! 1.2609 0.04636 115 88 24 3
1924 They’re not literally criminal 1.2605 0.04616 119 94 20 5
1925 At least you were wearing clean underwear. 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
1926 You will have to change for choir practice 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
1927 Is it ok if I take these with me? 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
1928 It's easier to wear these for clients than to bring swatch samples. 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
1929 Can I take the mask off now? 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1930 A checkered life, yes, but I look best in seersucker! 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1931 Is this the stairway to heaven? 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
1932 So. Is the WiFi any good? 1.2600 0.04632 100 75 24 1
1933 No, no, I said it was a crime of PASSION. 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1934 They wouldn't let me in either. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1935 I admit they are a little loud, but six months in Purgatory seems excessive. 1.2600 0.04845 100 76 22 2
1936 Mind if I check your lost and found? 1.2600 0.04845 100 76 22 2
1937 You guys have casual Friday up here? 1.2600 0.05617 100 80 14 6
1938 I see that you lived a colorful life. 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
1939 These are my only clean pair.” 1.2600 0.04845 100 76 22 2
1940 It's been a long pandemic. 1.2600 0.04632 100 75 24 1
1941 Discrepancies on my golf scorecard? Really?? 1.2596 0.05291 104 82 17 5
1942 I knew these pants would kill me somehow ! 1.2596 0.05465 104 83 15 6
1943 I only ate 7 endangered aardvarks. I was devoted to 7 of my 10 children. I left 25 of my 35 billion dollar fortune to climate change non-profits. I donated all my organs. But it's these pants you're focusing on? I want my tithing back. Burrrrrrrrp! 1.2596 0.05465 104 83 15 6
1944 These are _not_ Joseph's pants. 1.2596 0.05112 104 81 19 4
1945 Belt or suspenders? 1.2596 0.05291 104 82 17 5
1946 Who told you I had a checkered past? 1.2596 0.05291 104 82 17 5
1947 We believe questions of righteousness are black and white. 1.2595 0.04545 131 102 24 5
1948 I think I am in heaven, but I'm wearing these pants.'' 1.2595 0.04279 131 100 28 3
1949 Yep, Sponge Bob Pants Squares 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
1950 It was a Christ Mass present. 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
1951 Jesus,those pants. 1.2593 0.05483 108 87 14 7
1952 Photo ID? I thought I just had to repent. 1.2593 0.05323 108 86 16 6
1953 Absolutely not, right? 1.2593 0.04987 108 84 20 4
1954 You’re headed downstairs for crimes against fashion. 1.2593 0.04810 108 83 22 3
1955 So, where does a guy have to go where there isn't a dress code? 1.2593 0.04810 108 83 22 3
1956 You look like the lion at the 42nd St. Library. 1.2589 0.05492 112 91 13 8
1957 Golf. It wasn’t your idea? 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1958 If I created them, they must be good 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1959 But my wife said these looked good. 1.2589 0.04871 112 87 21 4
1960 Those pants should be a sin 1.2589 0.05492 112 91 13 8
1961 The Bible didn't say anything about a dress code. 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1962 I apologize, but it was a sudden and unexpected departure. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
1963 It's not all black and white 1.2588 0.06296 85 69 10 6
1964 No criminal record, just a citation from the fashion police. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
1965 I've started a petition to move you to the 5th Avenue library. 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
1966 I hope the big guy is color blind. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
1967 Do you really want Eternity in those Pants? 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
1968 This isn’t that kind of club. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
1969 And I thought humanity was a complicated patchwork 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
1970 I guess you can take colored plaid pants with you. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
1971 Well, at least your shirt isn't stripped. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
1972 Come on! You let Joseph in wearing that coat! 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
1973 Glad I never lied about my handicap. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
1974 I was told, 'He looks stern, but he has an antic side.' 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
1975 I don’t care about your handicap! Those pants are a sin against humanity. I don’t care that they were made by “Tiger’s guy.” You must go to hell. Do not pass the 1st tee. Go directly to hell. PS:Take your clubs. They’re waiting to tee off. 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
1976 Will you forgive my checkered past? 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
1977 Umm even we can't let that pass 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
1978 It seems the driver who ran you over was confused at the traffic light. 1.2581 0.05275 93 74 15 4
1979 To achieve enlightenment, my son, you must atone for your checkered pants. 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
1980 It was Halloween. 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
1981 But I made a reservation! Let me speak with the manager. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
1982 But even the Bible tells us to come as we are! 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
1983 Yes as a matter of fact I did make these myself during Covid 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
1984 Tough luck on the back nine. 1.2578 0.04331 128 98 27 3
1985 Any chance I could go back long enough to finish the back nine? 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1986 Yes, I am on the Norwegian curling team. What gave it away? 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1987 Phew! I didn't end up in Babylon! 1.2577 0.05728 97 78 13 6
1988 I guess scoring the hole in one was too much for my heart. 1.2577 0.04922 97 74 21 2
1989 Trust me, I'm as surprised as you are. 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
1990 Yes, I’m grateful I died peacefully in my sleep, but had I known I’d be stuck in these pjs for eternity, I might have preferred a motorcycle accident. 1.2577 0.05728 97 78 13 6
1991 You’ve got to be one of Jacob’s kids. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
1992 I've heard about the multiple golf courses for those lingering in limbo. 1.2576 0.04251 132 101 28 3
1993 Is this the Anderson party? 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
1994 Heart attack on the 16th? 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
1995 Golfers to the left, please. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
1996 Try "Patches", my clown name! 1.2574 0.04804 101 77 22 2
1997 Hmmm, amazing pants, I have a friend with a matching drramcoat. 1.2574 0.04804 101 77 22 2
1998 A sin? Perhaps. But not in the Hamptons. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
1999 I'm just checking in. 1.2574 0.04804 101 77 22 2
2000 You figure it out,Mr Rubik. 1.2574 0.04549 136 107 23 6
2001 How'd you know I cheated on that last hole?" 1.2571 0.05069 105 82 19 4
2002 This is NOT baggage claim! It is the final destination. 1.2571 0.04885 105 81 21 3
2003 Do I have a chance in hell of getting into this gated community? 1.2571 0.05246 105 83 17 5
2004 I’m not staying. I’m just here to fill out a foursome. 1.2571 0.05418 105 84 15 6
2005 Please forgive my checkered past. 1.2571 0.05418 105 84 15 6
2006 No, I'm not colorblind. Why do you ask 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
2007 I gave my life for these pants, so there better be a tailor in heaven. 1.2569 0.04772 109 84 22 3
2008 Any other sin besides my pants? 1.2569 0.04772 109 84 22 3
2009 I was told to see the style council. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
2010 You're going to ding me on the mixed fabrics rule, aren't you? 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
2011 Oh, you can come into heaven all right, but forget about the restaurant. 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
2012 I can assure you Pete, I'm definitely on the guest list. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
2013 I was told he likes Madras. 1.2569 0.04772 109 84 22 3
2014 Yes, I confess. I kicked the ball away from a tree during the club championship. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
2015 Apparently theses pants are not a fashion sin. 1.2569 0.04591 109 83 24 2
2016 I’m a forgiving God, but this is stretching it 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2017 Do you have a shirt that goes with those pants? 1.2566 0.04405 113 88 22 3
2018 Do you have a reservation? 1.2566 0.04993 113 89 19 5
2019 Are there caddies here? 1.2566 0.04494 113 86 25 2
2020 Not a golfer eh ? 1.2566 0.04833 113 88 21 4
2021 Who in hell did you tick-off? 1.2566 0.04993 113 89 19 5
2022 It says here you have a "checkered past", but I see now that was a typo. 1.2566 0.05301 113 91 15 7
2023 Coat! Technicolor dream COAT! 1.2566 0.04714 152 124 17 11
2024 Plaid? Really? 1.2564 0.04567 117 90 24 3
2025 Yes, there's golf in Heaven 1.2564 0.04567 117 90 24 3
2026 No time to change. 1.2564 0.05172 117 94 16 7
2027 That’s checkered PANTS, not a checkered past. 1.2564 0.04879 117 92 20 5
2028 I died and I’m still getting dissed for these pants. 1.2564 0.04879 117 92 20 5
2029 I'm thinking less harp and wings and more slide whistle and balloon animals. 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
2030 The invitation said “Festive Dress.” 1.2564 0.05172 117 94 16 7
2031 I thought I'd dress up for the occasion. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2032 I thought he said "Blessed are the pantsmakers." 1.2561 0.06211 82 66 11 5
2033 I’ve never said this before, but you can only come in if you take off your pants first. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2034 If it's all the same to you, I was hoping I could bring them with me. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2035 If I had known that morning, I would have worn different pants. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2036 No one told me about the dress code 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2037 I died as I lived: in these pants. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2038 So, where’s the library? 1.2558 0.06230 86 70 10 6
2039 Please explain your choice of top. 1.2558 0.04575 129 101 23 5
2040 No. It is definitely NOT because of the pants! 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2041 All 300 classified documents from Mar-a-Lago are hidden under these denim patches. FBI got nothing!!! 1.2558 0.04956 129 104 17 8
2042 I finally got a hole in one and look what happened. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2043 I'm sorry, I didn't have a chance to change before... 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
2044 So you just don't get that many golfers any more?" 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
2045 Please don't say anything... I'll show myself out. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2046 Finally somebody followed the theme 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2047 So loud pants breaks which commandment, again? 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
2048 they never mentioned there was a dress code for heaven 1.2553 0.04522 94 70 24 0
2049 My wife bought them for me. Shouldn't just wearing them qualify me? 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
2050 This wasn’t exactly how I thought my day was going to go or I would have toned it down a notch. 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
2051 These pants need to be accepted somewhere, no? 1.2553 0.05002 94 72 20 2
2052 No, Lucifer, we still haven't forgiven you for those pants. 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
2053 Can you ever forgive me? 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
2054 Yeah, I’m happy wearing these for eternity 1.2551 0.05089 98 76 19 3
2055 My wife insisted I take these with me! 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
2056 This is eternity, Fred. Not a Zoom work from home. 1.2549 0.04963 102 79 20 3
2057 Too much color for the Library 1.2549 0.05518 102 82 14 6
2058 I died in a clowncar accident - now I'm stuck wearing these forever. 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
2059 The name is Erno.... like in Rubik 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
2060 So, entrance to Heaven really is black or white. 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
2061 This got me into Studio 54 once. 1.2547 0.04845 106 82 21 3
2062 Lucky for you God is color blind. 1.2545 0.05074 110 87 18 5
2063 I used to be considered the life of the party. Now what? 1.2545 0.04734 110 85 22 3
2064 So it turns out clown cars don’t have airbags. 1.2545 0.05074 110 87 18 5
2065 Something near the 10th Hole, please. 1.2544 0.05404 114 93 13 8
2066 If I’d known I was meeting you today I’d have worn the matching jacket. 1.2544 0.04631 114 88 23 3
2067 Golf clothes not allowed? 1.2544 0.04795 114 89 21 4
2068 You can’t think of any possible sins…? 1.2544 0.05109 114 91 17 6
2069 Really? You're judging me on my pants? 1.2542 0.05133 118 95 16 7
2070 Why not? I’m sure you let Joseph in! 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
2071 Rumor has it you allow checked baggage. 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
2072 This is what you wear when you hit a tiny ball into a small hole with a long stick and lie about your score. 1.2541 0.04286 122 93 27 2
2073 They were a hit in Palm Springs. 1.2541 0.04878 122 97 19 6
2074 Yeah, it used to be a multicolored coat. 1.2541 0.04878 122 97 19 6
2075 I figured I should do something to stand out. 1.2541 0.04442 122 94 25 3
2076 I was told to wear my party pants 1.2541 0.05148 122 99 15 8
2077 My checkered past is all on my behind. 1.2541 0.04878 122 97 19 6
2078 Note: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors pants. 1.2541 0.04737 122 96 21 5
2079 I was hoping to be judged on my wardrobe rather than my morality. 1.2540 0.04772 126 100 20 6
2080 Well what did you expect? I died on the golf course. 1.2536 0.04831 138 112 17 9
2081 What’s your membership fee? 1.2535 0.04941 142 117 14 11
2082 I'm here for the Technicolor Dreamcoat you posted on Facebook Marketplace. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2083 Sartorial sins sure, but otherwise good! 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2084 You have your tapestries, I have mine.... 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2085 I’m just saying, the Scriptures didn’t mention any problem with being a lifelong fan of The Partridge Family. 1.2530 0.06378 83 68 9 6
2086 Sorry, dress code: dead men don't wear plaid. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
2087 What can I say? I’ve lead a colorful life… 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2088 These pants didn't go with my wife. 1.2530 0.06378 83 68 9 6
2089 Look, you're the one that made me colour blind. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2090 Joseph got the coat and all I got was this lousy pair of pants. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2091 C’mon, Pete, garish is the new righteous. So let me in already.” 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2092 What was that? I couldn't hear you over those trousers. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2093 Yep, definitely worse than dirty underwear. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2094 They’re called technicolor dream pants, PETER. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2095 Jackets are mandatory. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2096 The practice putting green is over on the left. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2097 You're counting that stroke? 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
2098 Well, if Joseph could have the coat of many colors, surely I can have the pants! 1.2527 0.05086 91 70 19 2
2099 Joseph got in with a dreamcoat! 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2100 First Amendment, bub. 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
2101 I’m hoping for a comeback. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2102 I didn’t think a bow-tie could go so unnoticed. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2103 The devil may wear Prada, but angles wear Mondrian. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
2104 Just the pants...not my past 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
2105 Until today I was an awfully obnoxious atheist, and felt no shame from dressing in sinfully bad taste. 1.2526 0.04725 95 72 22 1
2106 Tell Joseph his amazing technicolor dream pants are ready. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
2107 Heaven help the color blind. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
2108 What do you do for fun? 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
2109 With pants like that, I think the other place would be a better fit. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
2110 I saw lightning, but I wasn't giving up my tee time. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
2111 The judgment? You have a checkered past. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
2112 I judge by more than clothing, Bob, which is in your favor. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
2113 Any chance I can go back for just a bit? I was even par through 16! 1.2525 0.04836 99 76 21 2
2114 Is this shirt OK with these pants? 1.2525 0.05624 99 80 13 6
2115 What about you? Dead men aren't supposed to wear plaid. 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
2116 Clearly NY fashion week has going to hell… 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
2117 So, the pants were that bad? 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
2118 I'm Joseph's older brother - Fred and his trousers of many colors. 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
2119 Yes, they are all I have with me. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
2120 I’m assuming my country club membership will transfer here ? 1.2524 0.04723 103 79 22 2
2121 I was about to let you in. But with those pants, no way. You're going to hell, my son. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
2122 I understand you've had a rather checkered history. 1.2524 0.04921 103 80 20 3
2123 Dress code? 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
2124 I was a designer of color blindness tests. 1.2524 0.05470 103 83 14 6
2125 I want it reviewed by a Special Master 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
2126 I hope that trend of pants died with you. 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
2127 Believe me, you wouldn't fit in. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
2128 Should I go back and change? 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
2129 I thought this was goling to be a Zoom meeting. 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
2130 Does it still count if your spouse bought them for you? 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
2131 Mondrian, Piet Mondrian, asked me to give you a message. He said he would like to speak with you after you have settled in. Something about 'inappropriate artistic appropriation'. 1.2523 0.04618 107 82 23 2
2132 If you really wanted to see me in church you would have given me later tee times. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
2133 You’re sure I used the Lord’s name in vain on that missed putt? 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
2134 Do fashion sins count? 1.2523 0.04519 111 85 24 2
2135 Have you thought of guardrails? I slipped and fell in a rainbow. 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
2136 My wife said you wouldn't like them, but are they really THAT bad? 1.2523 0.04697 111 86 22 3
2137 I opened her present and said I wouldn’t be caught dead in those pants? 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
2138 Ok, I'm going to let you bunk with Joseph and his coat of many colors. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2139 You should meet Joe. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2140 Why not? You let Joseph and his tacky coat in. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
2141 Do you discriminate against colored? 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2142 Your score on the back nine will determine your fate. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2143 Frequently misunderstood in life, James waited patiently with great apprehension as God examined his checkered pants. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2144 But these are my Sunday Best 1.2520 0.04256 123 94 27 2
2145 Sorry, I thought it would be kinda casual. You know, like Walmart. 1.2520 0.04559 123 96 23 4
2146 No, our dress code is still white cloaks! 1.2520 0.04559 123 96 23 4
2147 Well... you see... I was playing golf... it was raining hard... and the last thing I remember was a really loud cracking sound right in the middle of my swing... and so here I am! 1.2520 0.04559 123 96 23 4
2148 It's a wonder you've survived this long. 1.2520 0.04869 127 102 18 7
2149 They were out of dreamcoats, so I got the next best thing. 1.2519 0.04766 131 105 19 7
2150 His mistake was thinking Heaven was business-casual 1.2519 0.04381 131 102 25 4
2151 No tie required? Then what's the problem? 1.2500 0.04911 96 74 20 2
2152 Think of it this way, Edward...Your fashion felony has been bumped up to the highest court. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2153 I had to switch to ugly pants after Cosby ruined ugly sweaters for everyone. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
2154 My father always taught me: "Don't dress for the job you have. Dress for the job you want..." 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
2155 For too long it’s just been too black and white. 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
2156 Sorry didn't know I was going to die mid-round 1.2500 0.04308 120 92 26 2
2157 I died on the golf course. 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
2158 You must not have read Proverb 47: 14. Thou shall not be tasteless. 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2159 I wanted to impress you and I heard you liked technicolor. 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2160 Joseph let me borrow his Amazing Technicolor Dreampants. 1.2500 0.04687 100 79 18 3
2161 You needed to be around in the 70's to understand. 1.2500 0.05130 96 75 18 3
2162 I mean, this should go without saying, but I've got Joseph's amazing technicolor dream pants. That's the joke. Pretty obvious, but I thought of it and went, 'Douglas, you should march straight into traffic and show them to St. Peter.' 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
2163 Given current fashion trends, I'd say the wait is going to be 10-20 years. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
2164 I'll have you know that these trousers were very well-received at Princeton! 1.2500 0.04911 96 74 20 2
2165 You have wings to match? 1.2500 0.05444 108 88 13 7
2166 I got tired of hearing about multicolored coats. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
2167 Too bad you asked me to 'dammit' on the 11th hole. 1.2500 0.05030 116 93 17 6
2168 Pants for a way in 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2169 Why not? 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
2170 So are you the guy I ask about a tee time? 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
2171 Dress code? What dress code?" 1.2500 0.04794 100 77 21 2
2172 You can pick up a pair at Brooks Brothers 1.2500 0.04794 100 77 21 2
2173 I definitely died fifty years too late. 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
2174 When I said, "Cover Thy nakedness," I did NOT mean to dismantle the cathedral. 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2175 They'll be no fancy colors or flag waving here, unless I'm wearing them!" 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
2176 I’m here for the disco inferno. 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
2177 Please tell me I don't have to spend eternity in a clothing trend that lasted 15 minutes? 1.2500 0.05000 100 78 19 3
2178 Yes, they’re ugly, but I got my wish: I shot my age and got struck by lightening on the 18th hole! 1.2500 0.05735 96 78 12 6
2179 I'd like a word with the designer. 1.2500 0.06077 84 68 11 5
2180 Well, well, well. If it isn’t Joseph and his amazing technicolor dreampants. 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
2181 Heart attack on the 18th hole after improving my lie. Surprised I made it. 1.2500 0.04683 96 73 22 1
2182 The costume party is downstairs! 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
2183 You’re consigned to the Hamptons. 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
2184 Would you believe I was inspired by the stained glass? 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
2185 I admit I took a risk wearing these pants during Fashion Week. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
2186 The pants? Really? Unforgivable? 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
2187 Sorry about the pants. I thought this was Mar-A-Largo. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2188 Booking table online was closed 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
2189 Where's your coat, Joseph? 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
2190 You’re telling me there’s a dress code? 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
2191 I didn’t know you had a dress code. 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
2192 You: Yes Pants: No 1.2500 0.06110 92 76 9 7
2193 All I’m saying is that it would’ve been nice to know about the dress code earlier. 1.2500 0.04794 100 77 21 2
2194 I think I left my dreamcoat in there. 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
2195 So NOW you're telling me there's a dress code? 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
2196 The guy from downstairs sent me back. He has a dress code. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
2197 Is it my choice of colors or my choice of pants? 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
2198 Did we misinterpret when you said color doesn’t matter? 1.2500 0.05389 100 80 15 5
2199 So, you weren't cool enough to get in to Hell? 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2200 Are there other people like me here? 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
2201 Looks like you’ve already stayed in hell. 1.2500 0.05116 108 86 17 5
2202 Not today, Satan 1.2500 0.05000 100 78 19 3
2203 Get off my back, I was on a boys golf weekend alright? 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2204 Ah yes, it’s Jacob and the mediocre technicolour pants… you know the coat was amazing? 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
2205 You are 20 feet tall, are all of your body parts proportionally huge? 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2206 Sorry God, I couldn’t find my khakis this morning. 1.2481 0.04323 133 104 25 4
2207 You mean wearing these is LITERALLY a sin? 1.2481 0.04542 129 102 22 5
2208 I didn't think God could hit a 1 iron. 1.2480 0.04349 125 97 25 3
2209 I think we have your shirt in the lost and found. 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
2210 There I was, a one iron in hand ... 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
2211 Yes, well the whole point of these pants was not to be caught dead in them, but… 1.2478 0.05411 113 93 12 8
2212 I forgot to leave my burial wishes. 1.2478 0.05111 113 91 16 6
2213 Wait— I wasn’t expecting a dress code. 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
2214 I thought heaven would be in color ! 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
2215 We usually don’t let people with pants like those in here 1.2478 0.05111 113 91 16 6
2216 I thought we'd be on Zoom so I went with my comfy pants 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
2217 But these are my favourite pants 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
2218 No. They don’t match. 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
2219 Am I the first one here? 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
2220 C'mon, get happy! 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
2221 You’ll need to understand we don’t carty LL Bean here. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
2222 What? They're unisex, 100% cotton, and eco-friendly. Don't I get points for that? 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
2223 I’’m hoping you can find it in your heart to overlook my chequered past. 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
2224 Good Lord, you look like hell. 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
2225 Don’t go below the belt. 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
2226 My whole life was Stop & Go -- because I was too yellow to take chances. 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
2227 What if I said I was color blind? Would that help? 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
2228 Sunday? Nope, that's when I golf. 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
2229 Excuse me, have you seen my golf ball? 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
2230 Sounds like a dress code from hell. 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
2231 I’ll wait for my clubs. 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
2232 And yet you said you wouldn't be caught dead in that, huh? 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
2233 I committed a crime of fashion. 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2234 I was a fashion victim. 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2235 I lead a colorful life. Check out these pants!! 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2236 Yes, I think I'm in the right place, and no, these are not "go-to-hell pants." 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
2237 Check with God, I'll wait. 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2238 one of us will have to change. 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
2239 If I had it to do again, I wouldn't have said "I'll die if someone sees me in these." 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
2240 Can you make an iced Americano? 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
2241 Please forgive my pants. 1.2474 0.05682 97 79 12 6
2242 I understand you have a dress code, but I thought I was going to the other place. 1.2474 0.05868 97 80 10 7
2243 I couldn’t find my coat of many colors. 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
2244 I wasn't aware there was a commandment covering these pants. 1.2473 0.04751 93 71 21 1
2245 Ironic, party of one 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
2246 All my other pants were at the cleaners. Do you want me to come back? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2247 Yeah, hi. I was told there’d be Polo matches. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2248 I guess I thought you’d be more relatable. 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
2249 If I had known, do you really think I would have worn my “go to Hell” pants? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2250 Those pants are a sin. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
2251 You never could hide your checkered past! 1.2473 0.04751 93 71 21 1
2252 Welcome to what you’ll be wearing for eternity 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
2253 No kidding. Death by golf ball is a bit unusual..... 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
2254 It's the pants or heaven....your choice! 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2255 For the record, I said I was a colorful person, not a person of color. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2256 You won’t break par here either. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2257 Yes, I’m a lover of Mondrian’s work. 1.2471 0.06013 85 69 11 5
2258 If you can't tell, it was very peaceful. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
2259 Table with a golf course view, please. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
2260 My wife may have been right about these golf pants not currying any favors for me. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
2261 The Fashion Police have escalated your case. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
2262 Not even if I was wearing them ironically? 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2263 You were a horribly amoral person, but those pants are a golden ticket if I've ever seen one. 1.2463 0.04789 134 109 17 8
2264 ...and then she said, 'If you buy those, I'll have to kill you.' 1.2459 0.05115 122 100 14 8
2265 Did Ron DeSantis send you? 1.2459 0.04843 122 98 18 6
2266 Those won't work for eternity. 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
2267 I never heard about a dress code! 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2268 OK, so I did have a checkered and colorful past. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2269 St. Peter sir, it’s Darnel Struby, not Jesus H. Christ. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2270 Have you seen a golf ball by chance? 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2271 Don’t you know who I am? I want to speak to the manager. 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2272 Look, I told them what I thought they should do. 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
2273 I didn't have time to change into something more appropriate. 1.2455 0.04509 110 85 23 2
2274 So there I was, crossing the street on Nantucket, when I was run over by some guy on an ebike. 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
2275 I was hoping you’d forget about the time your wife and I played a round. 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
2276 I was very clear about combining different fabrics 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
2277 Do we really have to wear forever what we died in? I was at a theme party. 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2278 Yes, I invented the Rubik’s Cube. The Ribik’s Pants, however, were not as successful. 1.2453 0.04798 106 83 20 3
2279 I understand you’ve had a checkered past 1.2453 0.04607 106 82 22 2
2280 You lived a life free of sin, however, those pants make it all for nothing. 1.2453 0.04798 106 83 20 3
2281 Couldn’t you use a life-of-the-party type around here? 1.2453 0.04798 106 83 20 3
2282 What do you mean, I need a tux? 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
2283 You know, you were thiiiiiis close to getting in. Next! 1.2453 0.04607 106 82 22 2
2284 The gender you identify with? 1.2453 0.05330 106 86 14 6
2285 I was at brunch. 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2286 Did you really need to take me from the golf course? 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2287 No, no, I am "clowning" around. Get it? 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
2288 Well you see it was a closed casket ceremony 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
2289 Yes, the John Daly disciple foursome goes off at noon. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2290 Oh it isn't that kind of judgement day? 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2291 I kind of thought we were all going to be naked 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
2292 I made them from my cubes 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
2293 They don't work. Now what? 1.2449 0.04824 98 76 20 2
2294 If my wife joins me she won't be in heaven. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2295 The penalty seems a little stiff here for missing my tee time at the club. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
2296 I'm having an end-life crisis 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2297 What do you mean by "crime against humanity"? 1.2449 0.05439 98 79 14 5
2298 I was intersected by a rainbow on the way up. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2299 My wife gave them to me 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2300 I admire your comeuppants. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
2301 Now I see why it’s called a sudden-death playoff. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2302 I was on my way to New York Fashion Week. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
2303 Well it wasn't an uneventful death, I can tell you that! 1.2449 0.05813 98 81 10 7
2304 they didn’t have the technicolor dreamcoat in stock 1.2449 0.05439 98 79 14 5
2305 I heard this was “come as you are”. 1.2447 0.04944 94 73 19 2
2306 I'm looking for a matching coat. 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
2307 A Rubik's Cube exploded in my lap on the way here. 1.2447 0.04707 94 72 21 1
2308 That's my old email. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
2309 Basic Primary Colors Never Fail. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
2310 They wouldn't take me below....I don't know why" 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
2311 Sorry, I was told dress was casual. 1.2447 0.04944 94 73 19 2
2312 Do have any wings that go with plaid? 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
2313 There's no golfing in Heaven. 1.2447 0.05991 94 78 9 7
2314 Is that what you call your Sunday best 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
2315 People die at Grateful Dead reunions too, you know. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
2316 I was hoping you were familiar with the filmography of one Steve Martin. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
2317 …Joseph the Israelite has your coat 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
2318 My past, less so… 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
2319 Sorry, it has to be a coat. 1.2444 0.05978 90 74 10 6
2320 These are my paradise pants" 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
2321 I'm sorry sir, but we have a dress code. 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
2322 I was hoping for some blind justice! 1.2442 0.06175 86 71 9 6
2323 Remember Joseph, sir. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2324 What do you say we liven this place up a bit, Pete? 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2325 So my life choices were black and white all along?! 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2326 I wore solid pants on Sundays. 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
2327 It looks like you have a checkered past 1.2439 0.04448 123 99 19 5
2328 You again? How many times do I have to tell you, change the clown pants and I'll let you in 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
2329 The 13th hole was murder. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
2330 Can I have one more day to finish my laundry? 1.2439 0.04522 123 97 22 4
2331 This one 'fash-sin' and I don't get in??? 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2332 Wrong gate Mr. Rubik. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
2333 I thought everything went with white. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2334 J-O-S-E-P-H. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
2335 Carl requested he be buried wearing his "Cords of Many Colors" to win the favor of St. Peter. 1.2437 0.04916 119 96 17 6
2336 This is your Judgement Day 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2337 My wife is a quilter.. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2338 Who are you to judge how I dress? Are you even wearing pants? 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2339 Solid white is just not my Jam. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2340 Back to the workplace was a tough transition for me. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2341 In this case, everyone wants you to take it with you. 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2342 I thought the Big Guy would appreciate my ability to take a fashion risk. 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2343 I know the pants are a sin. 1.2435 0.04383 115 89 24 2
2344 And while you’re in purgatory, I highly recommend that you read Dress for Success. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2345 Not that kind of Soul Train. 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
2346 But I was told you’re colorblind! 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
2347 I had a heart attack on the fourth hole. 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
2348 Well yes, I was on the golf course. Why? 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
2349 But they were a gift. 1.2432 0.04473 111 86 23 2
2350 You may want to check those pants at the gate 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
2351 He also gave me a technicolor dream shirt, but I lost it. 1.2430 0.05116 107 86 16 5
2352 Hey, it's Joseph. I think I left my blazer of many colors with the coat check. 1.2427 0.05063 103 82 17 4
2353 I'm hear to see Joseph. I hear he has my coat. 1.2427 0.05426 103 84 13 6
2354 Yes, I lok like a lion. And you look ridiculous. 1.2427 0.05063 103 82 17 4
2355 I don't believe it. I just got a hole-in-one and you brought me here! 1.2427 0.05248 103 83 15 5
2356 Come on! You show up to heaven in pajama pants? 1.2427 0.05063 103 82 17 4
2357 I’m trying to put together a foursome and I hear all the lawyers are up here. 1.2427 0.05248 103 83 15 5
2358 Congratulations on your first hole in one 1.2427 0.05248 103 83 15 5
2359 Color blind faith. 1.2427 0.04672 103 80 21 2
2360 Being color blind is a sin? 1.2427 0.05063 103 82 17 4
2361 I wore these pants so you'd recognize me. From that one day I did something nice? 1.2427 0.04871 103 81 19 3
2362 I guess you CAN take it with you 1.2427 0.04672 103 80 21 2
2363 I CAN go back and get the jacket that goes with'em. 1.2424 0.04782 99 77 20 2
2364 You are lucky this is not the court of public opinion. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
2365 What do you mean I can’t enter wearing these pants? 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
2366 I’m sorry. I can’t let you in here with those pants. It’s for eternity, you know. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
2367 Yeah, my wife always thought these were a sin. 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
2368 You’re only on cloud 3 Mr Fancy Pants 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
2369 On second thought... 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
2370 Sorry, the system is still showing a no. You can try clicking refresh, or you can chat with one of our agents. 1.2424 0.04782 99 77 20 2
2371 „Finaly someone’s bringing some color to this place.“ 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
2372 I've had 'em since the seventies. 1.2421 0.04783 95 76 16 3
2373 I was in the crosswalk when they started coming from all directions. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2374 I have no excuse. 1.2421 0.05741 95 78 11 6
2375 Really? 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
2376 We have the perfect roommate for you - Joseph, who has a COAT of many colors. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2377 Sir,I am testing you first to make sure you are colorblind. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2378 So? They were on sale! 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2379 The last thing I remember is walking into some biker bar and asking directions. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2380 But I couldn't win the Republican primary unless I wore these 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2381 We have a dress code in Heaven 1.2421 0.04899 95 74 19 2
2382 My wife said to get another opinion on this pants. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2383 If you see Joseph, tell him to return my coat. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2384 Anywhere but the Country Club. 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
2385 Plaid is always in fashion 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
2386 They were just green and yellow until the accident. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
2387 So sorry, wrong place. I think you're looking for the college reunion gate. 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
2388 Okay. Sins, unbelief, not being a good boy, not reaching your potential, all shut the pearly gates. I get it. But a fricken pair of pants? Puleeze! 1.2418 0.05918 91 75 10 6
2389 Golf trousers? No, they're pajamas. Is that important? 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
2390 No, you can’t come in. You have a checkered past. 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
2391 Uh, well, I was born color blind 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
2392 What can I say, I was on the golf course at the time. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
2393 Even worse, I was killed on a golf course because of these pants. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
2394 Not sure it WAS a hate crime. 1.2418 0.04776 91 70 20 1
2395 I’ve been working from home 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
2396 Well...as an atheist, I presumed I could skip this step. 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
2397 Yes, I understand the dress code but my wife won’t let me wear white after Labor Day. 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
2398 I know I've had a checkered past... 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
2399 I was a victim of fashion police brutality. 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
2400 Relax son, a fashion faux pau is not a sin. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2401 Clothing is optional here but we do draw the line on plaid. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2402 Letting him in would be hell for everyone else. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
2403 You've gotta be kidding! 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2404 The pants make the man. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2405 I want to be easy to spot by any friends who might be up here. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2406 The pants alone are reason enough! 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2407 I honestly didn’t think Disco Fever was real 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2408 What's your handicap? 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2409 Nice pants. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2410 Hmm, I'll make a note. Lightning DOES strike twice in the same place. Thanks for letting me know. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2411 Sir, these are pajamas, I died in my sleep, please dont stare 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2412 I forgot my clubs - how do I acquire? 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2413 Unlike some major movie stars I've never had a beard. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2414 I left my jacket at home. 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2415 Those pants are pretty unforgiving. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2416 I confess this is true: I submitted the same joke about the extended car warranty to every issue of New Yorker. 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2417 Dude,wanna go back and change real quick? I can’t let you in with those pants 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2418 Wasn't sure if ridicule kills 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2419 I’d feel better about being here if I had made the putt. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2420 How was I to know the rules? 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2421 Gaudy? I wouldn’t go that far. “Saintly”, maybe. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2422 Is it always lazy Sunday in heaven? 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2423 What do you mean this isn't a party? 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2424 I hope you’ll be judging me by the fantastic martinis I whip up on the Vineyard. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2425 Yes, these are pajama bottoms. I was told I could come “just as I am”. 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
2426 Right this way,Piet. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2427 I've been good except for one thing. 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2428 So do you have any tee times open? 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2429 It’s not like we made an appointment 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
2430 Given sufficient warning I would have dressed for the occasion. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2431 Would you believe, my grandkids gave me this sinful pair? 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2432 I would be more formally dressed but Jacob borrowed my jacket 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
2433 Sir, this is a white sensation party 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
2434 Yes, I tracked Key Performance Indicators. 1.2404 0.04427 104 80 23 1
2435 When is the next available tee time? 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2436 If my lucky pants are a deal breaker I will change. 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
2437 These pants were to kill for! 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2438 I send people to the other place for wearing pants like that. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2439 Do you have wings to match my outfit? 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2440 But you commanded, let's play checkers. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2441 I thought you would forgive my checkered pants... 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
2442 Of course I regret voting for him 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2443 I was aiming for something that blends well whichever way this goes. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2444 Like my pants? 1.2400 0.05435 100 84 9 7
2445 Dress code? I'd like to speak to your supervisor!! 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
2446 Look, I've got to give you purgatory just based on the pants alone. 1.2400 0.04522 100 77 22 1
2447 I'm a big Harry Styles fan 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2448 All can be forgiven, but not those pants! 1.2397 0.04154 121 96 22 3
2449 Doctor, I am the Great Clown Pagliacci. 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2450 Soooo... You wanna see me solve my pants? 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2451 No, I never shot a birdie or an eagle. 1.2396 0.04854 96 75 19 2
2452 I didn't mean to disappoint the kids at the party. I just got the pants on, was about to put on the coat, nose and hat and Boom! A heart attack. But, you should know that. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
2453 What if I agree to sleep on the sofa? 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
2454 The devil finds work for idle hands once again. 1.2396 0.04623 96 74 21 1
2455 They do feel heavenly. 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
2456 This is cloud nine not hole 9 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
2457 Those colors do not hide your black past. 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
2458 But not one of my spiritual advisors said anything about there being a dress code. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
2459 You're in luck today. God is in a whimsical mood. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
2460 I promise….once inside, I’ll change. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
2461 The invitation didn’t mention a dress code. 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
2462 Did you happen to see a golf ball anywhere? 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2463 I'd like to reserve a tee time. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2464 Rubric cube 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
2465 And with you, the last shred of disco also dies. 1.2391 0.04731 92 71 20 1
2466 He was all whassup with the pants, so I said "Your Mom likes them." 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
2467 The mask yes; the pants no. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
2468 I died falling through the church’s stained glass window, that’s gotta count for something! 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
2469 I see you have requested a “mulligan.” 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
2470 I had a heart attack on the golf course. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
2471 I only wear white shirts. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
2472 Checkered pants do not imply a checkered past. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
2473 No, I’m afraid you do not get a mulligan… 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
2474 I’ll let you in despite your checkered pants 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2475 Getting in is hard. You might try a different look. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2476 Please tell me there's no dress code. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2477 Your notion of Purgatory is cruel and unusual. 1.2386 0.04847 88 68 19 1
2478 I had an open coffin and we have colour television in my country. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2479 Yes, I LOVE traffic lights, why do you ask? 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2480 Well, I was out golfing, and certainly didn't expect to end up here. 1.2386 0.05826 88 72 11 5
2481 About those overdue library books. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
2482 They were on sale at Brooks Brothers 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2483 The dress code is black and white! 1.2386 0.06046 88 73 9 6
2484 My brother Joseph got the jacket. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2485 HAHAHAHAAAA! 1.2386 0.06046 88 73 9 6
2486 Yes, of course I'm a square guy! 1.2385 0.05358 109 90 12 7
2487 I said, "I don't have any money on me." He said, "Poor people don't wear pants like that." Then he stabbed me. 1.2385 0.05358 109 90 12 7
2488 I thought there would be a better haircut. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
2489 Sure, if you had died on a Friday. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2490 Yes, we have all your personal information in The Cloud, but this is just too much. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2491 Okay, yes...I played a few rounds of golf with Donald Trump...and I helped him cheat...but besides that... 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2492 My point is that couch potatoes can be good people too. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2493 Morton Lewis. Seventy-six. Fashion designer. Peripheral artery disease. 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
2494 To be fair, I wouldn’t be here if I had a colorful checkered past 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2495 My suffering has ended and hers is just beginning. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2496 You’re saying my midlife crisis was poorly timed? 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
2497 My wife thought they would help my chances. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
2498 You haven't seen a Titleist 7 around here, have you? 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2499 Sorry, but I wasn't given much notice. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
2500 Don't you judge me. 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
2501 I'm Bolivian. 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2502 Here are my words of wisdom; get rid of those pants. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
2503 I'm thinking I missed the Nantucket exit. Correct? 1.2381 0.04594 105 82 21 2
2504 I signed up for the audience with the Pope without the extension! 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2505 I knew about the moral code, but never was aware you had a dress code 1.2381 0.05332 105 86 13 6
2506 I was a devout member of the Church of the Color Blind. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
2507 A table for one and some wings, please. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2508 The circus is hiring. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
2509 Sign in. Ok. I'm sorry. There is a dress code. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
2510 Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Trousers 1.2381 0.04693 105 85 16 4
2511 Well, let’s see your pants. Oh sorry! I forgot; you don’t have pants. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2512 The devil wears Prada. God wears plaid. 1.2377 0.04807 122 99 17 6
2513 If I had known there was a dress code… 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2514 I was assured that they were to die for. 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2515 It was the nature that made the golf course my Church on Sundays. 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2516 My wife picked them out. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2517 Sorry sir, the gates of heaven have always been and always will be closed to golfers 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
2518 But they're my favorites! 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2519 So “Whites” is the only washing cycle? 1.2376 0.04592 101 81 17 3
2520 These are my technicolor dreampants. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2521 If you give me ten more minutes I’ll change my pants. 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
2522 And some balloons. This party looks completely dead. 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2523 Lier, lier… pants on…. Uh? 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2524 I mean my wife said these pants were a sin but, uh what do you think? 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
2525 I have to admit I've had a checkered past. 1.2375 0.04950 80 64 14 2
2526 Is this too loud for the library? 1.2375 0.05108 80 62 17 1
2527 Your friends were right. It's unforgivable. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2528 I'm Joseph...my brothers hated my pants too. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2529 But will they be in style forever? 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2530 Hey - guess who checked out in check? 1.2373 0.04611 118 94 20 4
2531 It’s was a coat , a coat of many colors . 1.2373 0.04766 118 95 18 5
2532 If I had known this was an in person meeting, I would have changed out of my pajama pants. 1.2373 0.04611 118 94 20 4
2533 I think it's a match made in heaven. 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
2534 Just Checking 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
2535 Yes, you interrupted my video meeting. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
2536 You’re right… I don’t know how to sort these to be washed either. 1.2371 0.05633 97 80 11 6
2537 “Can I borrow your clubs?” 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
2538 It's after Labor Day. WHY should I let you in? 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
2539 Primary colors to the left. Next! 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
2540 So I said “throw them out? Over my dead body!” and here I am. 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
2541 If I'd known the parachute was defective I'd have worn something a little more muted. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2542 Well, since you wore the party pants... 1.2368 0.04874 114 92 17 5
2543 I assume there's a golf course? 1.2368 0.05419 76 62 11 3
2544 The criteria is NOT smart casual. 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
2545 Not in those pants. Go Change. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2546 Now I have time to work on my putting 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
2547 WHAT? 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
2548 This won't help you, Stanley, I'm color blind. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
2549 I'd like to be judged on the content of my character, not the color of my pants. 1.2366 0.04687 93 72 20 1
2550 I heard that Heaven is 'party' from the waist down 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
2551 They're my pandemic pants! 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
2552 Send in the Clowns 1.2366 0.04297 93 73 19 1
2553 I like to think of it as ny own original sin. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
2554 My alma mater was Clown College. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2555 That’s funny, my wife said she wouldn’t be caught dead ever wearing anything like this. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2556 There's a quiz to enter heaven??? 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2557 I’m hoping my lucky pants work better now than they did this morning. 1.2364 0.04553 110 89 17 4
2558 I thought they best represented my personality" 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2559 They said self-expression is liberating. I may have overshot the mark. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2560 You are fashionably late. 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
2561 Do you like my pants? 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
2562 When they said my pants are to die for, I really thought it was just fashionista hype. 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
2563 But I got into the Country Club in these! 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
2564 You had it locked in, eternity in Heaven...then you wore plaid! 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
2565 Are you telling me there's no golf up here? 1.2360 0.05184 89 73 12 4
2566 Denied! 2B: Thou shalt not make unto thee any gaudy images. 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
2567 I keeled over at a garage sale. 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
2568 - - but the inner me lived the straight and narrow 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
2569 Funny, you seemed more virtuous over Zoom. 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
2570 If I have to choose, I choose the pants. 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
2571 I promise as soon as I get the robe I'll get rid of them. 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
2572 But I aways thought you LIKED golf... 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
2573 Well, I didn't expect to die suddenly in an accident. And I'm not even wearing any underwear. 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
2574 Seriously?! In Heaven?! 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
2575 Color me surprised! 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
2576 Need I remind you of Matthew 7:1? 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
2577 Is your name Patches? 1.2358 0.05043 123 102 13 8
2578 Have you seen my ball? 1.2358 0.04332 123 97 23 3
2579 I died of embarrassment?! 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2580 I thought you liked stained glass! 1.2353 0.04922 85 66 18 1
2581 Yes, I'm late. Helen's still arguing with the mortician about my choice of pants. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
2582 This is the only place my wife would let me wear them. 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
2583 Dammit - I swore I wouldn’t be caught dead in these pants. 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
2584 You admitted Joseph. 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
2585 My wife said “Oh my God” when she saw my wallpaper pants - could this help my case? 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
2586 I've come before you in search of style. 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2587 Yes, it was a heart attack on the golf course. How did you know? 1.2353 0.04445 102 79 22 1
2588 You don't see my name? But I thought GoToHell pants were a style, not a direction..... 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
2589 This is not the entrance to Madras? 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
2590 Sir,I Prayed with every swing at least 19 times a week. 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2591 well at least i'm wearing pants 1.2353 0.04254 119 93 24 2
2592 If you remember the 60s, you weren't there. 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
2593 Died on the golf course, I see. 1.2353 0.05428 102 84 12 6
2594 Damn it, I said no mixed fabrics. 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
2595 My wife thought the pants would disqualify me, but I'm hoping they'll get me in. 1.2348 0.04004 132 103 27 2
2596 My only sin was committing fashion crime. 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
2597 I was playing golf. Had my first and last hole-in-one. 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
2598 I HAVE to give up golf? Or what? 1.2348 0.04676 115 92 19 4
2599 Welcome! Those pants are to die for! 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
2600 Blessed is the man who walks not in those pants. 1.2348 0.04337 115 90 23 2
2601 The invitation said 'come as you are'... 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2602 I brought Joseph’s pants of many colors. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2603 So…okay…I thought this was a Zoom call. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2604 I wore these for just this occasion. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2605 Tell me that you do have golf courses up here. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2606 Don't let my grandpa see me if these, things will happen that no one should see 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2607 I hope this doesn’t influence your decision. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2608 Can I go where the comics are in color? 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2609 Are the pants a dealbreaker? 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2610 But I can get into any country club in Florida in these pants! 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2611 Could I just go back long enough to change my pants? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2612 The pants you ask? I guess you had to be there to believe it. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2613 Where is the Member Entrance? 1.2342 0.05270 111 92 12 7
2614 Mondrian is here, but he doesn’t play golf. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
2615 Sir,we have a dress code here. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
2616 It happened so fast, I didn't have time to change. 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
2617 Sure! But, not with those pants. 1.2340 0.05542 94 77 12 5
2618 Welcome to Dad Joke Heaven, we’re plaid you are here! 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2619 My wife shot me. 1.2340 0.05223 94 78 11 5
2620 I was kind of a big deal down on Earth. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2621 Son, those slacks just got you a free ride to Hell 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2622 PLEEEEASE……St Peter……..I won’t wear these pants again! 1.2340 0.04884 94 74 18 2
2623 I wish I had more time, you know, to change. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2624 I don't know anyone here. Thought this might be a conversation starter.. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2625 Ummm, you don't look anything like your pictures" 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2626 These pants are so comfortable I feel like I've died and gone to heaven. 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
2627 I thought fashion was the key to heaven. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2628 No! I said, "Tell me about your checkered *past*!" 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
2629 Would you happen to have a matching set of wings? 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2630 I said multicoloured rain coat! 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2631 Any chance you remember a guy named Joseph? 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2632 No. It’s black and white, your pants had no effect on my decision. Next! 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2633 There's nothing you can do ... you're going straight to Hell!! 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2634 You can come in, but those pants didn't make the cut. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2635 I guess I was hoping it would come down to more than just a fashion critique. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2636 I am glad you made it. Now, let us prey. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2637 God, what did I do wrong? Besides wearing these pants? 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2638 I thought I asked you to wear your Sunday best. 1.2333 0.04984 120 99 14 7
2639 Chose the wrong day to clown around 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2640 You think it's a bit too sporty for this occasion??? 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
2641 Oh, sure. Joseph and his coat of many colors can waltz right in. But Herman and his Twister pants get the extended interview. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
2642 Don't be puzzled by my Rubik's cube pants. 1.2330 0.04720 103 84 15 4
2643 Rumor has it there’s no dress code to get in. 1.2330 0.05200 103 84 14 5
2644 Given that you're omniscient -- I take it that's rhetorical. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2645 How plaid do you want it? 1.2330 0.04407 103 80 22 1
2646 These trousers never die 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2647 Yes, I know these pants are a crime. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2648 I'm just happy fashion crimes aren't mortal sins. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2649 Yes, there’s even a dress code up here. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2650 These pajamas were a gift from my grandkids. If I knew I was seeing you today I would have dressed more appropriately 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
2651 Do you think these pants make me fat? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2652 This is Fashion Hell, and you are sentenced to these pants forever 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2653 You want my verdict? Return them to Walmart. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
2654 You may deny me, but you cannot deny my sense of fashion. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
2655 I figured with all the sinners in Hell, I’d have no problem getting a tee time here. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2656 They thought my pants were too loud in Hell. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
2657 Ernö Rubik, table for one. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
2658 To get in, you have to pass with flying colors. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
2659 Excuse me, I'm looking for a Titleist 3. 1.2323 0.05339 99 81 13 5
2660 Gee, we haven't had anyone from the Hamptons here for a while. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2661 Come on Peter, everyone takes His name in vain on the golf course! 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2662 Well, then, show me your pants so I can see what you mean. 1.2323 0.05339 99 81 13 5
2663 I won't attempt to deny my checkered past. 1.2323 0.04725 99 78 19 2
2664 Did you have to kill me on the golf course? 1.2323 0.04501 99 77 21 1
2665 Go and sin no more. You can return in five years, maybe, but wear different pants. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2666 Hmm, you know, I did have my identity stolen a while back. Maybe check under Joe? 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2667 I had the same problem telling traffic lights apart, too. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2668 Oh sure, you can part the water 5000 years ago, but not ONCE on the 14th hole! 1.2323 0.04501 99 77 21 1
2669 Is it the pants? 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2670 Too funky for heaven, too unserious for hell 1.2323 0.04385 99 79 18 2
2671 I wanted to piss off the Far Right... 1.2321 0.04909 112 91 16 5
2672 Is this an exclusive club or can anyone enter? 1.2321 0.04909 112 91 16 5
2673 We have a comedian at Gate 5 …. 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
2674 I'm sure those pants broke some sort of Commandment! 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
2675 This would be the last time he’d sidetrack a conversation with his Slacks of Theseus debate. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2676 I think you're a fit for the golfing section. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2677 Well, look who is talking. You could have done better yourself. A lot better. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2678 I'm sorry, "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamslacks" just doesn't have the same ring. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2679 Does my membership in PETA help? 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
2680 No one asked if I wanted a shirt 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2681 Did you by any chance see a Titleist land around here? 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2682 Since when is Heaven business casual? 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2683 I came dressed for pearly gates. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2684 What’s the Wi-Fi password? 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2685 Yes, his name is Joseph and he stole my Dreamcoat. 1.2316 0.04601 95 74 20 1
2686 Sorry, I gave the matching coat to my son Joe when he went off to college. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
2687 I should've worn a tie. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2688 Mr. Jones, I think those pants you wear take credit for any Purgatory time. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2689 Appearances to the contrary, I do not have a checkered past. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2690 But they told me my club membership is honored everywhere. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
2691 I see now - why your wife wanted you dead. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2692 Well now I’m dying of embarrassment. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2693 I was told there’d be theme nights. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2694 Only pants can go through, you don't qualify 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2695 I laid down the boogie and played that funky music. Next thing I know, I'm here. 1.2315 0.04284 108 84 23 1
2696 “That is my login, I’m the special character!” 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
2697 No, I would not agree that they are a quote unquote crime against humanity. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
2698 You should have solved those trousers before coming here. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
2699 I’m actually surprised I’m not in Hell, considering all the times my wife said I murdered fashion. 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
2700 Your tee time is 3 o'clock today. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
2701 And to think, my wife called these pants ungodly. 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
2702 Are those Bode? 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
2703 So when you said you wouldn't be 'caught dead' wearing those... 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2704 Well, well, well... if it isn't Mr. Fancy Pants. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
2705 I wish I could say I'm in no place to judge. 1.2308 0.05863 91 76 9 6
2706 Sorry St. Peter, I died while I was golfing 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
2707 No, you're fine. Bad taste isn't a mortal sin. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
2708 It's the clan madras tartan ...I am surprised you had to ask. 1.2308 0.04961 91 72 17 2
2709 Don't judge me til you've seen the jacket. 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
2710 Please St. Peter, let me in. I had no idea the Amish were so sensitive to bright colors! 1.2308 0.05863 91 76 9 6
2711 They said you were the keeper of the keys - boy have I got a car for YOU! 1.2308 0.05651 91 75 11 5
2712 Well, um, yes . . . I guess you could call them sinful. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
2713 My pants are too loud for heaven!? 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2714 I see you've committed crimes of fashion. 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
2715 I had just finished the round of my life when you called me home. 1.2308 0.04708 91 71 19 1
2716 Am I cleared for golf? 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
2717 I was hoping this would be a festive occasion. 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
2718 You’re good to enter, but first those hellishly gaudy pants must stay out. 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
2719 nan 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2720 I know you were shooting under par, but your time on earth was up. 1.2308 0.05651 91 75 11 5
2721 Not with those pants! The down escalator is to the left. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2722 I dig those pants! Come on in! 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
2723 C'mon! Let me in! I know Jesus loves to play golf. 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
2724 Let's see...Joseph, coat of many color 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
2725 You kept asking people to "solve your pants". Very clever, but it still makes you a sex offender. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
2726 I know they’re called go to hell pants, but… 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
2727 But it’s casual Friday… 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
2728 Wrong floor. 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2729 They told me I'd get in by the seat of my pants. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2730 Just between you and Me- Twinzies. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2731 No sir, I don't own a gun. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2732 Of course they’re not in the Book—they’re the latest thing! 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2733 Well, I suppose I have had a rather colorful past, but only below the waist … 1.2300 0.04683 100 79 19 2
2734 I thought we were clear about this, the only rule for getting into heaven is don't mix your fabrics. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2735 You see, I was trying to bring a splash of color to this magazine... 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
2736 Do I have to wear all white? 1.2300 0.05478 100 83 11 6
2737 Not wearing white after Labor Day-Congratulations! You’re in ! 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2738 Sir, you are dressed for a hand basket. 1.2300 0.05291 100 82 13 5
2739 I hope you didn’t just let in a guy wearing a coat of many colors. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2740 Wait- there’s a fashion commandment? 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2741 How long will I have to wear these? 1.2299 0.05827 87 72 10 5
2742 - “Exsqueeze me, I was just wondering if perchance this was heaven for cool brochachos like myself?” - “No.” 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2743 No, you can't play through... 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2744 You up for a round? 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
2745 There's supposed to be a matching jacket, but some guy named Joe got the last one. 1.2299 0.06052 87 73 8 6
2746 Do you play Twister here? 1.2299 0.05472 87 73 9 5
2747 I wanted to color your judgment. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2748 Been in purgatory, eh Come on in. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2749 I don't care how good you were. Your wardrobe was awful. 1.2299 0.04823 87 68 18 1
2750 I heard this is the last resort. 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
2751 I got clobbered with an iron because of these pants! 1.2299 0.05827 87 72 10 5
2752 Yes, but THIS isn’t your home office. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2753 What happens if I yell "fore" and no one is alive to hear it? 1.2299 0.05222 87 72 11 4
2754 Yes, you’ll have to change. It’s a policy. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2755 I worked from home to death. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2756 I just thought wearing my cocktail party pants would get your attention. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2757 I was told ‘shirt / shoes, no problem’… 1.2299 0.04823 87 68 18 1
2758 Well, yes. My idea of Heaven is playing golf every day! 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
2759 Looks like someone didn't get the memo. 1.2299 0.05827 87 72 10 5
2760 I judge you to be… funky. 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
2761 I should be on the list. I was told to meet Joseph and coordinate? 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
2762 This is your final judgement and you chose to wear those? 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
2763 The cleaners are still looking for my jacket. 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
2764 Your lifetime of deeds would usually allow you in. But those slacks are only acceptable in Hell.. . 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
2765 And then the clown used my shirt as a napkin. 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
2766 These cartoons are getting more moronic every week 1.2292 0.04794 96 76 18 2
2767 No one told you we have a dress code? 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
2768 I am the Heaven fashion police I am your first gate keeper. 1.2292 0.04183 96 76 19 1
2769 Your wife gets in, but you don't 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
2770 Eternity is a long time to spend in plain chinos. 1.2292 0.05437 96 79 12 5
2771 So what is your excuse now? 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
2772 I'm Scottish 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
2773 Is this the Christmas pants section? 1.2292 0.04794 96 76 18 2
2774 On second thought, no. I just decided to create the 8th deadly sin: Garishness 1.2292 0.04794 96 76 18 2
2775 Would it help if I changed? 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
2776 It’s after labor day so I came prepared. 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
2777 Can’t do it pal, sorry. The pants are fine, my man Joseph has a coat just like them. It’s the shirt that’s a sin. No white after Labor Day. 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
2778 I didn't have any other clean pants 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
2779 That won't be necessary. I've already been judged today. 1.2289 0.04946 83 65 17 1
2780 We don’t have golf here! 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
2781 I didn't think that praying for a hole-in-one would send me up here. 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
2782 I created them from next to nothing. 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
2783 Can I get a decent tee time here? 1.2289 0.04946 83 65 17 1
2784 It’s not a sin, technically, but honestly… 1.2289 0.04946 83 65 17 1
2785 Senator, I can't overlook your checkered past. 1.2289 0.04946 83 65 17 1
2786 My wife picked them out for me. 1.2289 0.04946 83 65 17 1
2787 Emily said they'd help. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2788 I’m looking for Joseph. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2789 My wife always said I shouldn't be caught dead in these pants. 1.2286 0.05457 105 88 10 7
2790 I can't help the way they dressed me. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2791 Well, my memory of that day is kinda cloudy 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2792 Sorry,"go to hell" pants aren't allowed here. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
2793 Are you the ball washer? 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
2794 Eyes up here ! 1.2283 0.05804 92 77 9 6
2795 What do you mean, It’s obvious that I’m a man with a checkered past! 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
2796 I didn’t realize that bad taste is a mortal sin. 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
2797 I wouldn't be caught dead in these, but my wife said, "heck yeah he will." 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
2798 The mortician chose them. I'm a nudist. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
2799 Can I get a mulligan on that one? 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
2800 Sorry. You cannot get in without a coat and tie. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
2801 I'd kill for those pants - oh wait...! 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
2802 I'm part man, part Rubik's Cube. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
2803 Say what you will about my life, behavior, and character, but lay off the pants. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2804 Satan gave me these pants. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2805 So what's par on this course? 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2806 I know, I know. My pants look like hell. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2807 I swear on my mother's grave, I did not steal these pants. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2808 Please don't tell me now I am "somewhere over the rainbow" . 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2809 Honestly, if I’d known today was the day, I definitely would’ve changed. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2810 I'm Joe's son, Jimmy in the Okay Colorful Pants. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2811 Please forgive these ungodly pants. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
2812 Can I at least text the laundry so they don’t try and deliver? 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
2813 You have one chance, and you're choosing those pants? 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
2814 I know, but, well, she made me wear them. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
2815 I'm in my 70's. 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
2816 I'm going to have to ask the boss about this one. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
2817 Seriously? I had no idea you had a dress code. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
2818 My past is checkered too. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
2819 Well, I hope you take a good hard look at the driver, whenever he comes in... He claims he didn't see me! 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
2820 Everyone calls me Trey, but you know that. 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
2821 Do you have Wi-Fi?" 1.2273 0.05766 88 73 10 5
2822 I'm not in love with the colors, but they were on sale. 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
2823 They sum up my career. 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
2824 How do you expect me to dress when you don’t give me an appointment? 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
2825 I promise to change my pants once I get in. 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
2826 ...But the slacks can go to hell. 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
2827 You’re not getting in here until you change those. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2828 Back to purgatory and next time respect our dress code. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2829 Yeah, I know. No patterns with solids. But this white shirt was the only clean one. 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
2830 I knew that Century 21 was making a comeback, but this is ridiculous 1.2273 0.04775 88 69 18 1
2831 My friends always said my style is divine. 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
2832 I was framed. 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
2833 My wife did always say wearing these pants was a sin. 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
2834 Look,we talked about this. We are non denominational. 1.2273 0.05111 110 91 13 6
2835 Just because my pants are on fire doesn't mean I lied! 1.2273 0.04775 88 69 18 1
2836 How long is the wait ? 1.2273 0.05988 88 74 8 6
2837 You are accused of killing Rubrik's Cube. How do you plead? 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
2838 you’ll get along well with Joseph 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
2839 Ah, Mr. Rubrik, I admire your work, but not your pants 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
2840 In my defense, it was Casual Friday at the office 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
2841 Spare me the platitudes. 1.2269 0.04689 119 97 17 5
2842 This motherfucker… 1.2269 0.04689 119 97 17 5
2843 I guess when it comes to eternal fashion, curlers can’t be choosers! 1.2269 0.04123 119 96 20 3
2844 My tailor killed Dolly Parton. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2845 I'm Mr. Mondrian, who the fuck are you? 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2846 Evidently there was a clerical error. I do not have a 'checkered past'. 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2847 I seem to be lost 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2848 . . . and, although it's hard to believe, your common sense was worse than your fashion sense. 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2849 I call them my "party pants." 1.2268 0.04636 97 79 15 3
2850 So,it’s confirmed? They’ve only defunded the fashion police? 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2851 Your troubles are over - I sell pens. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2852 Dress Code? How reactionary. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2853 It’s not my fault I’m from Virginia 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2854 Can I pass the gates of Heaven with my zing trousers ? 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2855 I hope you like these pants. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2856 Do these pants make my butt look big? 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
2857 They're called Rubik's pants. I'm still working on them. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
2858 But, I thought Fashion Hell was just an expression. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
2859 I really don't like yellow, green, and red either, but everything else was in the wash. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
2860 Please God let me in! Even though I have a checkered pair of pants but not a checkered past! 1.2264 0.04793 106 88 13 5
2861 The mortician is a real joker, St Pete. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
2862 I’m Joseph. These are my pants of many colors. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
2863 Sin below the Zoom screen was judged here. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
2864 I was told that you check your clothes at the Pearly Gates so it doesn't matter what I wear." 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
2865 The last thing I remember is telling her I already clicked the breaker. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
2866 I was on the third hole and there was a lightning storm so I held up a two iron figuring even God can’t hit a two iron. Obviously you can. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
2867 Can I at least go back and get my jacket? 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
2868 OK, and then what? 1.2262 0.05952 84 70 9 5
2869 I was told there would be golfing. 1.2262 0.06189 84 71 7 6
2870 I’m finally living a little. 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
2871 The lounge is fine. 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
2872 Now what? 1.2262 0.04746 84 68 14 2
2873 I'm wearing... clothes. I don't get the question. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
2874 Would you mind if I took a selfie of us? 1.2261 0.04950 115 95 14 6
2875 Do you think they’ll clash with my wings? 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
2876 Ah...I don't think so. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2877 A devil may care fashion sense is not a problem here. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2878 Try Limbo. It's only black and white here. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2879 Do you really need me to explain why I’m sending you to Hell? 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2880 I hope you understand, these pants are not available in Hell 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2881 I went out exactly as I wanted: tainted LSD suppository from Bolivia. 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2882 Sorry, just because you're in heaven you can't get an early tee time. 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
2883 Bro, fashion has been my Only indulgence. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2884 Check under 'other'. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2885 Forgive me,for my many fashion faux-pas... 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
2886 Look, I’m not here to be judged. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2887 No, I don't think the election was stolen. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2888 Yea, Joseph’s my brother. Yea, he got the jacket. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2889 My pants may say, “ Go to hell,” but my shirt says all the right things. 1.2256 0.04351 133 108 20 5
2890 Yo colorful pants, you're in the wrong place. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2891 Do any of the wings come with a pair of pants? 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2892 No she is not buried at a Trump golf course 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2893 You guys should consider not allowing lightning storms over golf courses. We're not all politicians. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2894 I said, you need to confess your checkered past... 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2895 Technically you're to blame. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2896 Even wearing my lucky golf pants, I choked on the 18th hole. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2897 Those trousers can stay. 1.2255 0.05380 102 85 11 6
2898 You do realize there's a reason they're called 'Go to Hell Pants'? 1.2255 0.05380 102 85 11 6
2899 You played too much golf. 1.2255 0.05380 102 85 11 6
2900 Would someone have a multicolored coat I could use while I’m up here? 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2901 I regret writing that 'you shall not covet' commandment now that I'm seeing those pants. 1.2252 0.04904 111 91 15 5
2902 There's not a dress code here, is there? 1.2252 0.04735 111 90 17 4
2903 I thought that they might give the impression that I also move in a mysterious way. 1.2252 0.05228 111 93 11 7
2904 Yes, my name’s Joseph. How’d ya know? 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
2905 I prefer early tee off times.” 1.2252 0.04375 111 88 21 2
2906 These were once lost..but now the're found too 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
2907 Casual Friday is not Heaven 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
2908 So, you think heaven's just one big party? It's not. 1.2252 0.04735 111 90 17 4
2909 Sorry, it’s just you… 1.2252 0.04904 111 91 15 5
2910 But it was You who gave me fashion sense. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
2911 What do you mean you can't find my reservation 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
2912 So you're the guy who stole my pants. 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
2913 It turns out those "best if used by" dates mean something. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
2914 Perhaps the Nantucket Reds were the safer choice. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
2915 It's white tie. Do you have a reservation? 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
2916 I'm sorry I'm a walking fashion crime! 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
2917 Now I have to apply to Ivy colleges in Heaven 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
2918 Sorry,but that will be ten years in purgatory for inventing Zubaz. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
2919 I know I promised to never wear them again if I made it through the operation, but I really didn't think you were paying attention. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
2920 No I don't sort my laundry, why do you ask? 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2921 Before I explain just remember I didn’t say anything about your beard. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2922 What is it about Final Judgement that you do not understand? 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2923 I always saw the afterlife as something like Caddyshack. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2924 Are you trying to get sent to hell for those pants 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
2925 So you're saying they're okay at my club but not in yours? 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2926 I expected this place to have a little more pizzazz 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2927 Too bad if you don't like my pants. I don't like your beard! 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2928 Just hedging my bets…I know that you’re a big fan of rainbows! 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2929 My only crimes were against my wardrobe. 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
2930 I thought the pants might distract from my horrible life choices. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2931 But why'd you have to interrupt my golf game?? 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
2932 Hi, Table for one, last name Peterson." 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
2933 Up here, do you really enforce that 'eye of the needle' thing? 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
2934 They’re cozy, all right? 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
2935 Sorry, but you could have picked a better time. 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
2936 I plead guilty to a "What was I thinking?" moment, your Honor. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2937 The Grim Reaper got me on the 16th hole, ok? 1.2245 0.05031 98 82 11 5
2938 Where are you from? 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2939 I always said“Dress for the job you want”. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2940 At least I’m not R. Kelly 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2941 But wait! They glow in the dark too. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
2942 -What’s with the look? 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2943 Steve, even Satan wouldn't wear those bottoms. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2944 So you're the fashion police, too? 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2945 Happy pants didn’t fit in hell so they sent me up here… 1.2243 0.04263 107 84 22 1
2946 I wore these pants to cheer everybody up in case I'm rejected up here. 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
2947 You qualify based on your good life.....but sadly, you failed the dress code 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2948 Welcome to The Special Place in Hell for people accused of cultural appropriation 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2949 If I could just make a briefs statement. 1.2241 0.04429 116 93 20 3
2950 Sorry, but I didn't want to live in such a black-and-white world. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2951 I wanted to wear something that would fit in regardless which place I ended up. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2952 I understand you were a crossing guard. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2953 We’re you playing golf or planning an insurrection? 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2954 What makes you think I have a checkered past? 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2955 No, I swear. I never joined the Russian military or supported the war. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2956 You would call me on laundry day. 1.2235 0.04844 85 67 17 1
2957 Sorry, we don't accept golfers with bad taste 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
2958 Those aren’t allowed in here either.” 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
2959 I don't see your name here, Mr. Rebus. 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
2960 Plaid is the new white." 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
2961 My wife said these pants belong in the pits of hell, I'm hoping you'll disagree? 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
2962 No, I don't rent golf carts, sorry. 1.2235 0.04844 85 67 17 1
2963 I heard you were admitting more people of color. 1.2235 0.05888 85 71 9 5
2964 I’ve lost my drive. 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
2965 You call it purgatory,I call it a Mulligan 1.2235 0.04844 85 67 17 1
2966 Well? Do you know if there are golf courses in the other place? 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
2967 Finally, a pair of pants to match the coat of many colors! That suits me just fine! 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
2968 They said to be myself. 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
2969 I could have sworn it was a chanterelle. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2970 Yeti, you were our best President Ever! 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2971 Unfortunately for you, heaven requires a certain dress code. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2972 Master, which way to the Non-Blue Room. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2973 I was told that I’ could find the matching coat from a guy named Joseph. 1.2234 0.04937 94 78 12 4
2974 Is there a dress code? 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2975 Can you tell Joseph I want my dreamcoat back? 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2976 I thought this would lighten your judgment. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2977 The governor told me I had won a free flight to a better land. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2978 You never answered my prayers, so I tried something else to get your attention." 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2979 It’s says clearly here: Heaven’s gate party, dress code- Black and white! 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2980 Chester recounts his checkered past. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2981 Tacky, tacky, tacky. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2982 Yes, but unfortunately, I do need to classify those pants as a venial sin. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2983 You're early, your pants confused the trraffic 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2984 Any Norwegian curler can vouch for me. 1.2233 0.04456 103 84 16 3
2985 Those pants are against the dress code. 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
2986 What about the pants? 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2987 I am sorry, we have run out of soup. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2988 Son, I’m pretty sure they were telling you to ‘rest in peace’, not ‘in fleece’ 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2989 Yeah… we have kind of a strict “robe” policy here. 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
2990 I thought it didn't matter if you can suck at fantasy football in heaven. 1.2232 0.04151 112 88 23 1
2991 If I was passing judgement, and I'm not, you three-putted on 18. What makes you think you belong? 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
2992 My wife thought she'd die if I wore these in public. 1.2231 0.04467 121 98 19 4
2993 My bad sense of fashion is breaking which Commandment? 1.2231 0.04467 121 98 19 4
2994 You've been kind, honest, and done your fair share to help others, but those pants.... 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2995 Have you seen my golf ball? 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2996 Oof, sorry. Purgatory is actually on the 2nd floor. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
2997 As if. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2998 No one gets to see Oz, especially with those pants 1.2222 0.04969 81 64 16 1
2999 Nuance has never been either of our strong suits. 1.2222 0.05648 90 75 10 5
3000 I died on a golf course… 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
3001 Love those paints, did you get those at Bloomingdales? 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
3002 If you were in the PGA perhaps,otherwise not a shot. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
3003 It appears I'm over dressed. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
3004 God is still looking for a man, huh? It was a woman. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
3005 Sorry, I thought my final judgement was going to be on Zoom." 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
3006 I thought they might go with Joseph's coat of many colors. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
3007 Okay, okay, I moved the ball out of the rough! 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
3008 you almost made it, and then you turned vegan. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
3009 The murders and theft is one thing, bot those pants are on a whole other level of sin 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
3010 No, Peter, when I left the house I didn't consider the fact that I might have to wear them eternity. Does that answer your question? 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
3011 Even Satan wouldn’t let those in. 1.2222 0.06086 81 68 8 5
3012 I’m afraid new information has just come to my attention. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3013 Did you die on the 8th or 9th hole? 1.2222 0.04229 108 85 22 1
3014 My wife never liked them, I hope she’s here. 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
3015 If you make me wear white and play a harp I'll kill myself. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
3016 Where's the "GATE"? 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
3017 I was hoping I can finally be myself here. 1.2222 0.04813 90 74 13 3
3018 And you’re SURE the robe and halo get-up is mandatory? 1.2222 0.04648 81 63 18 0
3019 There's Dress Code? 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
3020 It's from the John Daly line. I didn't think I'd beat him here. 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
3021 You know you don’t get to change your outfit right? 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
3022 She said there was a special place for me and my pants in hell. I knew she was wrong! 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
3023 But I'm wearing clean underpants. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
3024 Why do I have to explain my pyjamas? 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
3025 Our family says I resemble you. 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
3026 I didn’t think coming without the coat would be a problem. 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
3027 Oh, great. I putt like a god, beat my brother-in-law and...did I just say something wrong? 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
3028 And the cars just kept coming from every direction. 1.2222 0.04546 90 73 15 2
3029 “You mean God really is an Englishman?” 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
3030 Let's just say these pants ARE the most regrettable thing from my life...then do I get in? 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
3031 My wife will be surprised I'm allowed in - she always called these "those damned pants." 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
3032 Of course I heard the horn but it was an eagle putt. And by the way did it go in. 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
3033 Which way to the Bob Marley meet & greet? 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
3034 Is it really true? Only Nicklaus can hit a 1-iron? 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
3035 I thought this was the 19th hole? 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
3036 You know I know the pants weren’t on sale 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
3037 But they told me anything goes on the cloud 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
3038 My ex wife always said that I’d be a jackass in life and death 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
3039 You really can wear these for any occasion. 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
3040 Will you let me in if I tone it down? 1.2213 0.04117 122 97 23 2
3041 Sorry those pants are garbage 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
3042 Sorry about the pants, but my wife threatened to destroy them if I left them in the closet. 1.2212 0.04306 113 90 21 2
3043 Who’s been a good boy? 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
3044 What?? …. Too loud 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
3045 They were on sale. I don't think there are any left, but I can ask if we can cut a deal. 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
3046 Your look is enough. I saw how you sent the woman wearing the crown away. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
3047 Oh, so you’re St. Fashion Police now too? 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3048 I can explain,Your Honor, it’s not as white and black as it seems. 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
3049 I mean, I didn’t really have time to change.. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
3050 I swear I read the dress code 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
3051 What do you mean, “No way!” 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3052 Are you sure you want those to be the last pants you'll ever wear? 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
3053 I finally had an opportunity to wear these pants! 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
3054 That's why they killed me. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3055 I’ve been told you’re high 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
3056 Before you ask, yes I did request to be buried in these 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
3057 Ahhh, so when my wife said, "Those pants are to die for"... 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
3058 I was golfing. 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
3059 Ah, another fashion victim... 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
3060 I would have done more if I knew I was going to hell for pants. 1.2211 0.04775 95 76 17 2
3061 I'll take the fifth on that that one. 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
3062 What do you mean, you couldn't find a Robe with attached wings to fit? Each SOUL, that goes through the 'Tunnel, that leads to the Light, is assigned a Tailor, for the perfect sized Heavenly Wear... yes, EVERY SOUL! 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
3063 Ah yes, we’ve been meaning to talk to you about your cars warranty 1.2211 0.04775 95 76 17 2
3064 Sorry 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
3065 Our apologies, but our New Jersey clouds are experiencing a rather lengthy wait.” 1.2209 0.04794 86 68 17 1
3066 Nobody told me that there was a dress code! 1.2209 0.04794 86 68 17 1
3067 By any chance have you seen a Titleist #2? 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
3068 You can try again on a Casual Friday. 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
3069 It was a perfect storm, lightening hit while I was playing golf on a casual Friday the 13th. 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
3070 I swear I returned my library book to the main branch. Check the stacks. 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
3071 And all my friends said I would go to hell for wearing these pants 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
3072 There are no casual fridays in the afterlife 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
3073 Just tell me, what did I do to deserve these trousers?”. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3074 I want to make sure I'm comfortable. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3075 Your website said divine-casual. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3076 And then she said, "Take those things off, now!" And then I said, "What are you gonna do, stab me?" 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
3077 My wife picked these out for the undertaker. 1.2202 0.04195 109 86 22 1
3078 Not really sure how I got here. Nor do I really care if your name is Peter 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
3079 We had to take you. The guy who sold those to you went the other way. 1.2202 0.05108 109 91 12 6
3080 Cut me some slack here! I died for these pants upon checkout 1.2202 0.04195 109 86 22 1
3081 I know, but they've worked this far. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
3082 I'm looking for a shirt. 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
3083 I'd like to explain the trousers. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3084 Yes, the pants are cool. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
3085 That's odd, I made a reservation yesterday 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
3086 Not my pants. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
3087 I'm not letting you in with those pants on. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3088 No disrespect, but I was playing golf at the time. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
3089 Reason of your visit?" – "I added these pants to the whites load at home 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
3090 Okay, now the party can start. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
3091 I'll put you down for 1970" 1.2198 0.04636 91 72 18 1
3092 Better let me in, because I am the latter-day Joseph, and these are my amazing technicolor dream pants! 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
3093 The queen likes motley. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
3094 I wonder what lame-ass caption will win this week? 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
3095 Any chance I could sneak out for a quick 9 holes? 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
3096 So I said, "Marge, if wearing these pants is my greatest sin..." 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
3097 Please believe me. I'd never steal anything like this, it was a gift from my wife last Christmas. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
3098 OK. First your address - Cambridge, MA. Correct? 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
3099 I duffed the chip and just lost it.. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
3100 I thought Donald Trump 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
3101 I realize that now, but they were a gift. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
3102 This is fashion heaven, not fashion hell. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
3103 I guess these really ARE my lucky golf pants! 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
3104 I heard my great great great great great great great great grandfather pantsed Joseph. 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
3105 Oooh, I’ll see if Joseph can lend you his coat to complete that fire ensemble! 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
3106 God judging a pair of pants 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
3107 Damn it Joseph, you had ONE JOB! I said Technicolor DreamCOAT 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
3108 Yes, this is somewhere over the rainbow. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
3109 Sorry, you don't have a reservation here, you will have to go to the 'kitchen' down below, unfortunately it's very hot there.. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
3110 Explain the Pants 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
3111 They're my technicolor dream pants. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
3112 „so you were looking forward to playing Golf up here?“ 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
3113 I did take off the cape. . . 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
3114 Where in My Name did you get those awful slacks? Never mind...off to Purgatory you go. 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
3115 So I said to my wife, 'Nine more holes of golf won't kill me.'" 1.2188 0.05774 96 82 7 7
3116 Are you the keeper of the pery gates? 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
3117 You're about 50 years late. What's your excuse? 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
3118 I remember standing over the putt- then nothing. 1.2188 0.04492 96 76 19 1
3119 They said wear ‘something white’. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
3120 What are you talking about? I don't have a checkered past. 1.2188 0.04492 96 76 19 1
3121 Why do you want to know my golf handicap?" 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
3122 No, I´m not yet checkered in 1.2188 0.05066 96 81 10 5
3123 I'm hoping He's a patchwork God. 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
3124 Everybody cheats at golf 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
3125 Clown Heaven is two doors down. 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
3126 You didn't wear those to church, did you? 1.2184 0.04884 87 72 12 3
3127 Just for the record, I really liked "The Lion King". 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
3128 Sorry pal, but we don't observe "Casual Friday" around here. 1.2184 0.04884 87 72 12 3
3129 I was on the ferry to Nantucket and fell overboard. 1.2184 0.06210 87 75 5 7
3130 No Stanley, you can’t go back down and change your pants. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
3131 Welcome to hell….I see you’re wearing your punishment. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
3132 I want to speak with an attorney. 1.2182 0.04545 110 89 18 3
3133 Golfing was just a part of my checkered past. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
3134 I’d like a perpetual 10:00am tee-time. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3135 Can I get wings in a color that won't clash? 1.2178 0.04246 101 82 17 2
3136 I don't believe you exist, but I defend your right to judge me. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3137 Here's the pitch... it's called 'Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Pants' 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3138 I blame the people at the funeral home. 1.2178 0.04361 101 80 20 1
3139 But I’m not going in without these pants! 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3140 Do you take bribes? 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
3141 I going down cause of my checkered pants?! 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
3142 You had such a colorful life. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
3143 The last thing I remember was somebody yelling, "FOUR." 1.2174 0.05747 92 78 8 6
3144 Well, I didn't get to choose the place or the hour. 1.2174 0.04592 92 73 18 1
3145 It's just that all my life I wanted to stand out in a cloud. 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
3146 No, that’s not a sin either. Oh, dear, you must have been so worried! 1.2174 0.03961 115 93 20 2
3147 I need you to be more than "half -serious" about "joining our little club" 1.2174 0.03887 92 73 19 0
3148 You’re lucky “unfashionable” wasn’t a sin, Jerry. 1.2174 0.04749 115 95 15 5
3149 And you know wat the worst part is? I was 3 under par when the lightning struck. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
3150 Is this the complaint department? 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
3151 Nice pants, Joseph. But we have a strict dress code and you’ll need a matching coat. Maybe your father will give you one that you can use? 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
3152 So when do you think the ""Road to Hell : will open up again? 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
3153 Let he who has no fashion crimes cast the first stone. 1.2174 0.04592 92 73 18 1
3154 I’m so sorry, my jacket got lost. 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
3155 Pardon my PJs - I thought this was a video call. 1.2174 0.04592 92 73 18 1
3156 Joseph! Another one of yours! 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
3157 Lois Comfort Tiffany reporting, St. Peter. 1.2170 0.04447 106 85 19 2
3158 We don't allow golf pants in Heaven. 1.2170 0.04645 106 86 17 3
3159 But, my Opus needs more time! 1.2170 0.04447 106 85 19 2
3160 Ronald McDonald meets his maker 1.2170 0.05017 106 88 13 5
3161 . "Sorry, we don't allow madras here" 1.2170 0.04447 106 85 19 2
3162 Sorry pal you’ll have to grab a pitchfork and head downstairs. 1.2169 0.04863 83 66 16 1
3163 I hope they make up for all my commissions and omissions. 1.2169 0.04863 83 66 16 1
3164 Stoned 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
3165 Everything else was in the wash. Perhaps there is a clown up here who could use these. 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
3166 Will the wings match the pants? 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
3167 The golf gods approve. You may enter. 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
3168 Fashion forward is not a good look on you 1.2169 0.05950 83 70 8 5
3169 Listen Frank, it may well be a typo, but there's nothing I can do about it. You seem like a nice enough guy but its set in stone. It says right here, you have a checkered past and are damned to suffer the fires of hell for all eternity. 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
3170 Unfortunately, we adhere to a strict dress code policy. 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
3171 Any 18 hole courses up here? 1.2169 0.04863 83 66 16 1
3172 Sorry - I was at a 70's party when it happened. 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
3173 Sorry, no mulligans. 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
3174 If fashion is a crime, then lock me up for life. 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
3175 Hi, I'm Joseph. My brothers sent me here. These are my pants of many colors. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3176 My mother bought them. Thought I’d surprise her. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3177 Do you offer plaid Angel wings? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3178 Can you bring the Volvo around, please? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3179 What? I was golfing. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
3180 Sorry,I specifically told you no mixed fabric. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3181 Well I was cutting the grass when you called. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3182 The 70’s called, they want their pants back 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
3183 Lucky for you, fashion sins don’t count. 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
3184 those pants are a mortal sin, sir 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
3185 No one tells you how to dress for the occasion. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3186 I didn't know heaven was so black and white. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3187 It's a fashion crime, I am aware but it's wash day. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3188 Excuse me, but you interrupted my golf game! 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3189 Style has saved me in my life. Now, not so much… 1.2162 0.04508 111 90 18 3
3190 Vivienne Westwood fandom fourth door right 1.2162 0.04818 74 58 16 0
3191 Can I order a Bloody Mary to start? 1.2162 0.04508 111 90 18 3
3192 The guy downstairs said the pants were a dealbreaker. 1.2162 0.04128 111 88 22 1
3193 You could have at least let me putt first 1.2160 0.04484 125 103 17 5
3194 Yes, Sir; I did wear plaid flannel pajama bottoms to the New York city library. But the other lion let it pass! 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
3195 I didn't have a white robe. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
3196 This is not a joke… 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
3197 The Oracle pronounced a curse from that day forward on Bob, his pants, and golfing as an affront to civilization. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
3198 Lightning on the 12th hole. No chance to change pants. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
3199 The judgemental pants 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
3200 I came directly from the golf course. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
3201 I swear, I didn't know the fashion police was real! 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
3202 Please go sit by the rainbow 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
3203 I heard mornings are getting cold. 1.2159 0.04411 88 69 19 0
3204 The pants are non-negotiable 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
3205 The coat is in the wash, can I go back for it? 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
3206 How about I wear the pants for all of eternity, and you toss the "flashing during Mardi-Gras" thing. 1.2157 0.04951 102 84 14 4
3207 Glad to see you’ve dressed for the eternity you wish to have… 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
3208 Comfort counts! 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
3209 These are my travelling pants. 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
3210 I thought you knew the dress code rules. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
3211 Another fashion victim? 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
3212 Who are you to—…Nevermind. 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
3213 I was playing golf. 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
3214 All the millennia of hype about the Kingdom and not one mention of a dress code? 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
3215 I'll swap the pants for more hair. 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
3216 Could you help me find. My pajama top 1.2152 0.06155 79 67 7 5
3217 Mask? 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
3218 So can we both agree on the temperature? 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
3219 I get that it’s called judgement day but I didn’t think it was about the outfit. 1.2152 0.04653 79 62 17 0
3220 I died after Labor Day. 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
3221 It’s fall, ya’ll… 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
3222 I wish this had caught me with my pants down. 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
3223 Oh, God! There's a dress code? 1.2151 0.04798 93 75 16 2
3224 I was told sins of fashion won't be held against me. 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
3225 Well I wasn’t informed there was a dress code. 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
3226 Look again, I'm sure its in there... M - O - N - D - R - I - A - N 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
3227 So you wore zany pajamas all the time, just so that you'd be wearing them now, and they might incline me more favorably toward you? 1.2151 0.05481 93 78 10 5
3228 ....and I already have a title for it: 'Larry and the Technicolor Golf Pants' . Whaddaya say? 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
3229 My better half will be along soon. 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
3230 The pants of many colors under-performed the coat. 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
3231 Lightning on the 15th fairway. Sorry, no time to change. 1.2151 0.04798 93 75 16 2
3232 Please don't judge me for how I dress. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3233 That's the wrong outfit for judgment day. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3234 Who do you know here? 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3235 When will you ever retire? 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3236 Do you have your library card? 1.2149 0.04577 121 100 16 5
3237 Wings weren't my style 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
3238 “I guess God thought the place needed livening up.” 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
3239 No! You did everything right until you wore those pants. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
3240 I know, I know. I'm wearing white after Labor Day! Gimme a break, I didn't get a chance to pick up my laundry. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
3241 Can you please check with Joseph? The cleaners think he may have inadvertently picked up my white pants. 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
3242 Thought you'd appreciate a multicultural look" 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
3243 Well, if there's no golf course, I'll go straight to hell. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
3244 Why did you turn Joe's coat into pants? 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
3245 I pray there isn't a dress code. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
3246 My fashion-sense died in the '80s. 1.2143 0.04096 112 89 22 1
3247 Ok, Fancy Pants, we will see if we can get you matching wings. 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
3248 Can you point me to the tennis Hall of Fame! 1.2143 0.04504 84 66 18 0
3249 I’ll get a standard issue robe before the gates, right? 1.2143 0.04166 98 77 21 0
3250 When you called me I was still in my pajama pants. 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
3251 Are you sure this place hasn't clouded your judgment? 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
3252 My brother told me this was your tartan. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
3253 A reservation? I don't recall anything about having to make a reservation? 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
3254 Well, with all the remote work going on I didn’t think that the uniform rule was going to be enforced. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
3255 It was Fashion Week. 1.2143 0.05280 98 82 11 5
3256 No, it's checkered pants not past... 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
3257 How about I go back and change into a suit? 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
3258 I'm not letting you in based on your fashion sense. 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
3259 Three art critics walked into a bar 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
3260 So…you’re saying it only applies to coats? 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
3261 Sorry I'm late, there was a mix-up. He let me keep the pants. 1.2137 0.04198 131 107 20 4
3262 I left before the top came out of the dryer. 1.2137 0.04514 117 96 17 4
3263 The tee times for Cirrus are all booked up. I could get you on the back nine at Stratus or Cumulus though 1.2136 0.05098 103 86 12 5
3264 I was told it would help. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
3265 I can change into something more appropriate, if I can go back and get it. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
3266 We have harps and clouds and rainbows but no golf courses. 1.2136 0.04286 103 82 20 1
3267 They were making fun of my pants, Sir. 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
3268 If I wanted you to wear quilted pants, I’d have made them.” 1.2136 0.04286 103 82 20 1
3269 Sir, let me explain… I thought I’d be joining this class on Zoom. 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
3270 I know you're judging me but they're really comfy! 1.2135 0.04651 89 71 17 1
3271 I ordered a coat, and they sent this. 1.2135 0.04368 89 70 19 0
3272 I heard this was a good place to network. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
3273 Your wife was right. You can't come in here looking like that! 1.2135 0.05412 89 74 11 4
3274 Since this is heaven, no one will really say anything to you about your pants, but since this is heaven, they really should preclude your entering." 1.2135 0.04368 89 70 19 0
3275 Why isn't it pronounced "played"? 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
3276 My passport is in my luggage, both lost. 1.2135 0.05412 89 74 11 4
3277 Whoa…no entry! Those pants are a violation of OSHA’s standards!! 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
3278 And so began Fred's descent--for just as he thought he was about to achieve his life long goal of entering the gates of Florida's newest Margaritvaille development-knowledge and wisdom and women and people of color said, Stop right there, Fred. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
3279 Perhaps you’d like to communicate the dress code to my undertaker? 1.2135 0.05412 89 74 11 4
3280 What happened to dress code on the Pearly Gates? 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
3281 Do you take Mastercard ?? 1.2135 0.05643 89 75 9 5
3282 dress code?! I thought this was heaven... 1.2135 0.04651 89 71 17 1
3283 In heaven with those pants? I don't think so. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
3284 You like these pants? I can get you a pair. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
3285 They just fell out of a cloud when my father died. 1.2135 0.04651 89 71 17 1
3286 I was on the Norwegian Seniors Curling team. 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
3287 this would've never happen if I were an Emmy. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
3288 We don't wear those kind of pants here 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
3289 Not in those trousers. 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
3290 Ooh, and you were so close. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3291 It’s a problem … the fashion police are out of control 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3292 Can't you tell? I'm half white and half colored. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3293 Unfortunately, the majority vote of the group was, no 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3294 I was told it helps if you stand out a little. 1.2130 0.04171 108 86 21 1
3295 They're free trade. 1.2130 0.04567 108 88 17 3
3296 My wife does all the shopping in our house. 1.2130 0.04753 108 89 15 4
3297 Shanté, you stay! 1.2130 0.04373 108 87 19 2
3298 I wore my best clown pants. 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
3299 Is this the 19th hole? 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
3300 I came of age in the '70s. Why 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
3301 Elmer,is that you? 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
3302 Are you saying that I can't get into heaven for the one mistake of wearing these pants? 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
3303 I don't play but the pants get me into the club bar. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3304 Nope. I’m sticking with the toga. 1.2128 0.04505 94 75 18 1
3305 What’s the password? 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
3306 My clubs will be sent separately. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3307 I'm all in on disco inferno 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3308 I didn't really mean that I'd give my life for a birdie. 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
3309 I think I passed a rainbow. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3310 Um, pretty much 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
3311 In my defence… Oh, shoot. Hell sounds more interesting anyway. 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
3312 In fairness, my clients made me play golf. 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
3313 My wife gave them to me. I consider wearing them a mitzvah. No? 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
3314 The queen has a dress just like this. 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
3315 But does He understand they’re Gucci? 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
3316 It’s for eternity, right? A guy’s gotta be comfortable! 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
3317 I guess they weren’t kidding these pants would last forever 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
3318 I was hoping me and the big guy could patch things up.' 1.2124 0.05099 113 96 10 7
3319 Then she said, 'Albert, I'm going to make absolutely certain you're never again seen in those.''' 1.2124 0.05099 113 96 10 7
3320 To Hell With Those Pants! 1.2121 0.05424 99 84 9 6
3321 The invite said casual. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3322 I am speechless! 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3323 Have you not learned anything?! 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3324 C'mon, they are REALLY a crime against humanity, are they? 1.2121 0.04926 99 84 10 5
3325 Enter thou into the rest of the Lord, Mr. Sedaris. 1.2121 0.05071 66 52 14 0
3326 Ha cha cha cha! 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
3327 Yes, technically, I did pray to find the perfect, affordable retirement. 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
3328 I lost the ballons. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3329 Now that you have done your penance—wearing those pants to your high school reunion—we can allow you to enter. 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
3330 I'm sorry but your reservation is not for another 6 years. 1.2119 0.04144 118 95 21 2
3331 Look, I can't just let you in because you 'got style'. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
3332 I figured that they'd be fashionable some time in eternity. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
3333 I'm afraid there's no golf up here, thank heavens. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
3334 I didn't realize you were tracking fashion sins. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
3335 I'm actually looking for fashion HELL. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
3336 There was a purgatory tag sale and I couldn’t resist 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
3337 Just as I imagined ...you look like the marble lions at the NYPL. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
3338 It was "Death by Golf Cart" 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
3339 The fasionistas really crucified me for these. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
3340 I thought tie-die was a typo 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
3341 Before we go further, how about I see some some reviews 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
3342 is not time you modernize this asset? Handwriting is so outre'! 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
3343 I'm a prodigal grandson. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
3344 I always knew dying on the golf course wouldn't be good look. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
3345 My putting is the real crime, but if you can forgive that... 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
3346 My wife always said it was a sin to wear these pants" 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
3347 Well obviously if I had known there was a dress code then I wouldn’t have worn these pants. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
3348 Instagram told me you're big on trends. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
3349 I'm sorry. Only Hawaiian Shirts are judged on Wednesdays. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
3350 I asked to be plaid to rest. 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
3351 Just want to be me. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
3352 Sorry. No admitance for crimes of fashion. 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
3353 A little bit of style can do you good 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
3354 Ugh, another one that believes wearing a red dress on Oprah increases your likelihood of getting air time... 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
3355 So then I figured, at this point, why bother with fashion sense? 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
3356 I was supposed to play a round of golf yesterday but my wife insisted I go here instead, now what? 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
3357 I was hoping you'd give me a Mulligan. 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
3358 Any chance I can get a morning tee time with Rodney Dangerfield? 1.2111 0.05585 90 76 9 5
3359 I wouldn't be seen dead wearing my old dark pants 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
3360 Dress code? Not what I was expecting. 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
3361 I'm wearing my greatest sin. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
3362 Someone stole the coat. 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
3363 Raptures are wild, man. 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
3364 I have to admit I'm pretty teed off about this. 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
3365 I'm subordinating my true fashion no more, now let me in! 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
3366 You're shopping in the wrong department. You want 7 floors down, they'll take good care of you. 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
3367 My trousers are symbolic of my life - very much a patchwork. 1.2110 0.04713 109 90 15 4
3368 Damn. You have - oops - had moxie. 1.2110 0.05061 109 92 11 6
3369 I'm here for the foursome. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
3370 Great work you dragged me through a rainbow 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
3371 Yes, my wife predeceased me. How did you know without first checking your list? 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
3372 Checkmate? 1.2105 0.05374 95 80 10 5
3373 Oh yes, you’re the colorful one 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
3374 ''Golfer's paradise, my ass!'' 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
3375 Think of it like the coat of many colors. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
3376 I always assumed Heaven had a colorblind admissions policy. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
3377 I think I may of left the stove on. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
3378 I’ll be damned. I forgot my password. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
3379 No particular sins worth mentioning, unless these pants count. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
3380 Sometimes the judgement process isn't as black and white as it seams 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
3381 No, no technicolor dream… coat Joseph 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
3382 Was it a natural or fashion disaster? 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
3383 Here’s the thing…. 1.2101 0.04603 119 99 15 5
3384 Nice try, but not quite—the real Joseph doesn’t have pants of many colors. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
3385 'sup dog? 1.2100 0.05183 100 84 11 5
3386 Joseph got the Coat of Many Colors. I just got the slacks. 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
3387 Your colorful, checkered past works against you. 1.2100 0.04333 100 80 19 1
3388 Will I live to see madras season last all year? 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
3389 Sorry, I should have yelled "fore," but did you happen to see where my ball landed? 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
3390 Unless the eleventh commandment covers crimes of fashion, I'm good, right? 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
3391 I beg your pardon, but I do NOT recall the 10 Commandments including anything about bad taste in clothes. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
3392 I shouldn’t be here, I was holding a 1 iron! 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
3393 We have a dress code here...Purgatory. 1.2099 0.06013 81 69 7 5
3394 No, I cannot confirm your tee time with Jesus 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
3395 It's a Christmas gift. 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
3396 No, the pants were a killer; I was an accountant. 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
3397 Seriously, these are my Sunday best golf pants. 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
3398 Well, I was playing golf when it happened. 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
3399 It’s seems a little arbitrary that I can be doomed to damnation based merely upon textiles. 1.2095 0.04214 105 84 20 1
3400 Sorry, Fashion Hell is on a much lower level. 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
3401 We don't usually let humans in since they made a mess of the planet. Is there any reason we should make an exception for you? 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
3402 Who are you to judge my pants? 1.2095 0.05362 105 90 8 7
3403 Argile is my favorite color 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
3404 The subpoena said I should appear forthwith 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
3405 Could you please check again? C. R . Appipants. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3406 So to you the MGM merger meant ‘lion logo’—to me it said ‘mighty gaudy madras.’ 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3407 I didn't realize that pants could be a punishable offense. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
3408 I was looking for more of a fashion guru. 1.2093 0.04412 86 68 18 0
3409 I’m sorry but Joan Rivers is up here now and I… I just really don’t want to get on her bad side. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
3410 You couldn’t throw me a hole-in-one once in my life? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3411 Joseph got the coat, I got the pants. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
3412 A toupee? Why? 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
3413 The only question is whether they were a gift or not. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
3414 Ditch the nautical flag pants before you come in here 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
3415 We were accepting diversity then decided to revert to our roots. 1.2088 0.05303 91 76 11 4
3416 Yes, I am Leo the Lion. But I am from the days of MGM’s black & white movies. 1.2088 0.04425 91 75 14 2
3417 When I bought the pants I told myself "only God can judge me" but I never thought it would come to this 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
3418 God loves all people, even thoes with questionable taste. 1.2088 0.04692 91 76 12 3
3419 I hope no jacket is required. Because I forgot my technicolor dreamcoat. 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
3420 I thought this was a gated community?! 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
3421 But I didn't know there was a level of hell for it. 1.2088 0.05303 91 76 11 4
3422 Listen wise guy, I'm not gay, I'm a golfer 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
3423 This really is bad timing - I swear I was just about to change pants 1.2088 0.05303 91 76 11 4
3424 God's desire to welcome was strangely blighted by a fashion preference for all-white ensembles. 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
3425 You have to let me in,I invented the Rubik's Cube! 1.2087 0.04537 115 95 16 4
3426 On the other hand, I left my coat and hat behind. 1.2087 0.04188 115 93 20 2
3427 OK. What's the gag 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3428 He thought I’d enjoy the rainbow dept. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3429 Class clown just follows me everywhere 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3430 'Do these pants make me look fat?' Ren E. Horner 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3431 It's Joseph again -- do you have a lost and found? 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3432 Oh No! Another golfer! 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3433 Last night a DJ saved my life.....right? 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3434 I thought you would have sympathy for me by wearing these pants. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3435 I guess my kids got the last laugh. There’s not a Lands End in there, is there? 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3436 Well at least my fashion sense was divine. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3437 No, he didn't say "Blessed are the Fleece makers" 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3438 Yes, we do require a jacket and tie. 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
3439 I was also the first to own a color TV. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3440 No one wears checkered pants anymore, not even in Heaven! 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3441 Might as well be comfortable. For eternity. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3442 If flannel is immortal why am I here? 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3443 And I told them they’d get these pants over my dead body. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3444 Which way to the after life that does reincarnations? 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3445 I hope my pants don’t clash with anything here. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3446 Another victim of fast fashion 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3447 Well, you’re good to go. The dance floor is around the corner, to your right. Here, the party never stops. 1.2083 0.04544 96 80 13 3
3448 There’s no Bill F***ing Murray? 1.2079 0.04939 101 84 13 4
3449 Only half of me made it to OZ 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
3450 Verily, even the color-blind can pass these gates. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
3451 I was an interior decorator. Do you think we can add a little color, get away from the black/white judgmental vibe? 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
3452 Good thing heaven’s absolutely mad for plaid. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
3453 I made wrong choices 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
3454 I'll go up or down, but I don't do well with in-between states. 1.2078 0.04654 77 61 16 0
3455 Yes, I'm an ESFP on the Myers-Brigg scale.Sue me! 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
3456 Oh. No wonder I never had a hole in one. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
3457 Honestly, what did you think was going to happen? 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
3458 Pants on fire ! 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
3459 You caught me in a bad early eighties moment: sorry. 1.2075 0.04179 106 85 20 1
3460 If I go back and change will you hold my spot? 1.2075 0.04589 106 87 16 3
3461 POV: You've worn the wrong pants out and now everyone is staring at you. 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
3462 Think very carefully before answering. Are those your pants? 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
3463 Yes, you lived a very good and noble life...but those pants. Sorry. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
3464 I was told you wouldn't accept white after Labor Day. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
3465 They were a gift. 1.2073 0.05945 82 70 7 5
3466 Are you sure it says "checkered past"? 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
3467 The golf course is members only 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
3468 My eyes must be getting bad. I thought it said 'checkered past.' 1.2073 0.05274 82 70 8 4
3469 You should have listened to your wife. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
3470 What if I agree to start on the back 9? 1.2073 0.04980 82 69 10 3
3471 Follow the snake way to King Kai's. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
3472 I'm here to apply for the position of royal jester. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
3473 But I’m from Detroit 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
3474 I can’t let you in dressed like that. 1.2069 0.05696 87 74 8 5
3475 My wife warned me that wearing these pants constituted a crime against humanity. 1.2069 0.05696 87 74 8 5
3476 When I died, it was laundry day. 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
3477 They wouldn't even accept me in hell. 1.2069 0.04823 116 98 12 6
3478 Manfred.. ok you win. Now come home. Someone will discover you're not a statue, and you will scare them and maybe will never know you're an oversized cat.. and then who knows what will happen! I promise, I will give you two treats everyday. 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
3479 I lost a bet 25 years ago 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
3480 I see your name is in the Book of Life. However, I’m afraid there is a dress code here. 1.2069 0.04155 116 94 20 2
3481 I ditched the robes for Casual Friday. 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
3482 Wait till you hear how much I paid for them. 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
3483 I stand Jacuzzied. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
3484 Huh. I just assumed Heaven would be in color. 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
3485 I see from you expression, there is something I have done wrong. I can assure you I have a good explanation for everything. The lying, the cheating, even the murders. For everything. Well, except for the pants. 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
3486 Sorry we have a very specific dress code up here… 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3487 Sorry. I dressed in a hurry and now I can't figure out these pants. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3488 They wouldn't let me in downstairs. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3489 You can't come in wearing that, but at least we won't kill you 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3490 Can we ignore the pants? 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3491 Oh, wonderful, you’ve come with something for the bonfire this evening. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3492 I was thinking that an eternity called for making a bold fashion statement. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3493 Is a Mulligan out of the question? 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3494 Hey guru! How would you like to suck my d**k. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3495 Am I a joke to you, Bob? 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3496 I can see your camouflage experiment didn't go as planned 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
3497 They were always my biggest sin. 1.2063 0.03955 126 102 22 2
3498 Sorry, I got dressed in a hurry! 1.2062 0.03997 97 79 17 1
3499 Have seen a small white Titleist. I swear it came this way. 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
3500 Hang on a sec…you say you died at work?” 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
3501 . . . so, when I heard the COAT of many colors was taken . . . 1.2062 0.04381 97 78 18 1
3502 I know these pants are a sin, but they were a gift from my mother-in-law. 1.2062 0.04381 97 78 18 1
3503 Bring me to this ‘God’ so that I may end his pathetic existence. I am your God now. 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
3504 Those pants are to die for. 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
3505 So the problem is bigger than the pants? 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
3506 I made sure they were fire-resistant. 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
3507 I'd heard about the risk of using colors in cartoon's contest 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
3508 Coats,pants,it’s still a technicolor dream, sir! 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
3509 My family manufactures traffic lights and it's our tartan. 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
3510 Have I Rubix'd enough? 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
3511 Man: I was queueing to see the queen... What happened? God: Well, thanks to that bus you can now meet her in person. . 1.2062 0.04381 97 78 18 1
3512 It’ll only take me 5 minutes to go back and change! Wearing these pants for eternity will be hell.. 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
3513 Believe me, I was invisible in the environment from which I came. 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
3514 The Devil wouldn’t take me. 1.2059 0.05276 102 87 9 6
3515 My name is Baxter and yes, these are my pants. Thanks for letting me in, I earned it. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3516 Oh, Mighty One, why do you not like technicolor wardrobes? 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
3517 "So - I could have been eating pork?" 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
3518 I was told the dress code was eternally casual… 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
3519 If looking this good is a sin, consider me guilty! 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3520 And then Mr. Rubik turned homicidal when he couldn’t solve the pants. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3521 Can you also take into account a purple paisley-pattern cummerbund? 1.2054 0.04597 112 93 15 4
3522 Just wondering before I enter. Do they have Rubix cube contests here? 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
3523 So let me get this straight: Joseph can have a Technicolor dreamcoat, but pants are out. 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
3524 Being tasteless is no sin. 1.2051 0.04602 78 62 16 0
3525 I died as I lived,in fashion 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
3526 Yes. That's right. Jacob Mortenson. From Canaan. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
3527 No way in hell. 1.2051 0.05873 78 66 8 4
3528 I don't care if you are Laurent. Peter would have let me through. 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
3529 I promised my wife I wouldn't be caught dead in these pants. 1.2051 0.04602 78 62 16 0
3530 So, God, yay or nay? I think they are heavenly. 1.2049 0.04346 122 101 17 4
3531 The guy downstairs turned me away already. 1.2049 0.03937 122 101 18 3
3532 Can I go back to Earth for just a bit? I left behind a cardigan that would be perfect to complete this ensemble. 1.2048 0.04619 83 69 12 2
3533 It was casual Friday. 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
3534 With those pants? Not a chance. Go back and change. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
3535 This will be a first. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
3536 I heard disco was dead? 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
3537 Welcome to Heaven. We can provide you with anything...except a sense of fashion." 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
3538 Look upon what you have made." 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
3539 I see you’ve been dying to wear those pants 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
3540 Ummm, did you happen to see my ball. I’m slicing everything today. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3541 I know dead men don't wear plaid but these pants are actually from a patchwork quilt made by my Aunt Fran. 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
3542 I got kicked out of the other place because my pants were too loud. 1.2045 0.05636 88 75 8 5
3543 We are open and affirming up here. After all, we sent you down there to upset the rigid thinkers. 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
3544 16th hole, par 5. It's a long story... 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
3545 So I sez, mama! Don’t take my Kodachrome away. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3546 I am wearing the pants as per your instructions. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3547 If you see Dolly come this way, tell her I have her pants. 1.2045 0.05636 88 75 8 5
3548 You coming down for dinner? Mum's made her special apple pie. 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
3549 But they are my favorite golf pants 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
3550 I'll let you in but you have to change your pants. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3551 I was only running out to get coffee. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3552 So Todd, did you ever thank Michael Williams for all of the clothes that he gave you? 1.2045 0.04325 88 70 18 0
3553 I was ahead of my time. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3554 Damn! Tough choice... 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
3555 My pants are being bullied! 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3556 Well, I'm color blind, and they were on sale. 1.2045 0.04325 88 70 18 0
3557 When will my purgatory end for wearing these pants? 1.2045 0.05636 88 75 8 5
3558 You’d never know it, but I’m of The Family of Man. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3559 They're not really 'Go to Hell' pants. That's just an expression 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
3560 Not sure how those were forgiven... 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3561 Yea, you’re going to hell 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
3562 No, not plaid, lots of patches! 1.2043 0.04204 93 74 19 0
3563 I'm a sinner, and I razzle-dazzle, too. 1.2043 0.04204 93 74 19 0
3564 Great pants! Coincidentally, once you are inside you get an absolutely amazing technicolor dreamcoat. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
3565 I assume Heaven is for rich, white conservatives, only? 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
3566 Was it my checkered past? 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
3567 You are telling me that your wife is still there, so you don’t know how to match colours? 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
3568 Trust me, I'm from Ethiopia. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
3569 COME ON DOWN AND I'LL BUY YOU A PAIR. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
3570 Bud Collins here, just checking in on the Wimbledon results. 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
3571 I was about to win Salesperson of the Month. But I guess this is good,too. 1.2043 0.04204 93 74 19 0
3572 Oh wise man on hill, is it true as my wife says my fashion sense leaves much to be desired? 1.2043 0.04204 93 74 19 0
3573 So you think plaid is the new “angel white,” eh? 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
3574 It's Your fault that lightning bolt hit me on the 18th fairway. 1.2043 0.04204 93 74 19 0
3575 Actually, I AM your dad. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
3576 Fine, come on in. But lets say you're lucky the commandment about sinfully ugly attire didn't make the cut, Jeremy. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
3577 It's a long story, but I lost the matching dreamcoat ages ago 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
3578 I'm told you may have my coat... 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
3579 Was it a Titleist? 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
3580 So I said to my playing partner, 'watch me bend this ball around the tree trunk.' 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
3581 Either the judge is Jesus himself or I'm on Cloud 9 1.2043 0.04204 93 74 19 0
3582 My family hopes you'll overlook some of that other stuff. 1.2041 0.04342 98 79 18 1
3583 Will you ever have open stacks? 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
3584 Not with those pants you don't. 1.2041 0.04342 98 79 18 1
3585 Okay, but what about my shirt? 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
3586 Hosting yourself on a pedestal is nice but do you have the suitable training? 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
3587 My son told me to get on THE CLOUD But THIS?? 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
3588 You should have thought about this before buying those pants. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
3589 I shaved my head and beard to weave the patches for my pants. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
3590 I've always stood out from the cloud. 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
3591 None of my sons were worthy. 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
3592 I knew these pants were a bad idea. 1.2039 0.03989 103 82 21 0
3593 Wow. They’re even down sizing the Lion’s den. 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
3594 The issue here is really about my pants, am I right 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
3595 Fashion crimes don’t really count against you here 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
3596 It’s quilted fashion. You could use a little makeover yourself. Colorize the hair. De-drab the robe. Turn St. Pete into St. Laurent 1.2037 0.04880 108 91 12 5
3597 Where is the fairway to Heaven? 1.2037 0.04511 108 89 16 3
3598 I might've thought twice this morning if I knew I'd be wearing them forever. 1.2037 0.04511 108 89 16 3
3599 I didn't wanna wear these pants; the Devil made me do it! 1.2037 0.04315 108 88 18 2
3600 The coat was taken. 1.2037 0.04699 108 90 14 4
3601 No, actually, it’s just a normal cough 1.2034 0.04593 118 99 14 5
3602 They said I wasn’t bad enough. 1.2031 0.04621 128 109 12 7
3603 My great-grandfather was Harlequin 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3604 When else am I going to have a chance to wear these? 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3605 Check again. I’ve already been to hell—I missed the last ferry more times than I can count. 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
3606 Pants are optional. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3607 What size are they? 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
3608 They’re my amazing technicolor dream pants. 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
3609 I managed to take the clown nose off before my heart stopped. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3610 Sorry, no. The pants stay on. 1.2025 0.04550 79 63 16 0
3611 You think i'm lying but everyone is dying in these right now" 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
3612 Is it always Friday casual day here, by any chance? 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
3613 May I join LIV? 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
3614 I'm sorry I failed the Rubix's Cube, your Majesty 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
3615 I’m Joey and these are my Amazing Technicolor Dreampants. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
3616 Yes, checkered and, as you point out, colorful, but otherwise uneventful. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
3617 I wore them to my funeral after my dear wife shot me. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
3618 Another golfer who wasn’t paying attention? 1.2025 0.04550 79 63 16 0
3619 Whew. I thought you said, 'checkered PAST.' 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
3620 No, no...you're right Charles. It's technically not a sin to wear those so I guess you're in. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
3621 You are correct - I am wearing 'dress casual.' 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
3622 Sorry Nigel, I’m afraid we do have a dress code 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
3623 i was just heading to the art institute…. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
3624 Yes, but not a mortal sin. 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
3625 Just don't call them the Amazing Technicolor Khakis around Joseph. 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
3626 they're my regular pants. 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
3627 Well, I guess I just assumed it was come as you were. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3628 Yeah, I'm back. Turns out they have a dress code in the other place. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
3629 My purse is my pants. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3630 Well at least I have pants! 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3631 I'm trying to bring a little levity to this situation... 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3632 I didn't know whether to dress for the party or the business meeting, so I kind of dressed for both. 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
3633 You will not finish Rubik’s Cube. 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
3634 I don’t believe you are quite ready! 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
3635 We have been waiting for you, your Tee time is set, and clubs are ready!! 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3636 I may have sinned against good taste, but obviously I've never committed adultery. 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
3637 At least you aren't wearing white on Labor Day 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
3638 Honestly, the stroke happened while I was performing my clown act at the children's hospital. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3639 Well, you're welcome to come in, but you may want to change first, because Payne Stewart is already up here wearing those pants 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3640 So I finally get out of that suited rat race, and you tell me this is over casual? 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3641 No, Sir, I didn't just call you a putz. I said I guess I took my last putts. 1.2022 0.05577 89 76 8 5
3642 My brother Joe got the coat… 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3643 Hell on top, heaven on the bottom. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3644 It’s not easy to be a clown in these days… 1.2022 0.04130 89 73 15 1
3645 Bohemian Chic, Your Saintship. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
3646 Your book never said anything about a dress code 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
3647 I think there's been a mix-up. My wife said she'd die of embarrassment." 1.2021 0.05365 94 80 9 5
3648 Huh. Guess you can only fit 31 clowns in a car 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
3649 Is death by fashion obstinacy a first? 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
3650 I’m sorry Allen - some sins cannot be forgiven. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
3651 Your plea of "Not Guilty" is entered by reason of color blindness, even though secret documents were found in the pants lining. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
3652 What, no golf course? 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
3653 My sense of humor is a little off. That's why I'm here. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
3654 I’m just here to bring Joseph his technicolor trousers. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
3655 No wonder you are dead.. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
3656 My wife was right. She told me that paradise would me far less exciting than I anticipated." myoken@umassd.ed 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
3657 Ah Ah Staying… darn. 1.2021 0.05365 94 80 9 5
3658 I was dressed to kill. So what the other guy too. And he was faster. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
3659 Well,we can see what sin you’re getting judged for. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3660 Really, Gary? 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3661 Last thing I remember is "Go to Hell,you freak!" 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3662 I should really send you to Hell for wearing those pants. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
3663 You know damn well Hell is the other way! 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3664 They’re really comfortable 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3665 Yes, I enjoy golf. 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
3666 You're making the cut! 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
3667 No Sir, I didn't think I needed a dinner jacket. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
3668 It was just a misunderstanding. I do not have a checkered past! 1.2018 0.04474 109 90 16 3
3669 Joseph gets all the attention, but these technicolor slacks are wrinkle-free and incredibly comfortable. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3670 No, there is no golfing in heaven. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
3671 Joseph lent me his amazing technicolor dream pants. 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
3672 It's the golf course architect who should go to hell. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
3673 I thought they'd make me look younger. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
3674 You can’t believe everything you hear. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
3675 Have you been waiting for seventy years just for me to try on these pants? 1.2000 0.04621 110 92 14 4
3676 Is it too late to apologize for my checkered pants? 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3677 I didn't know there was an Eleventh Commandment. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
3678 What do you mean plaid is the sign of the Devel 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3679 Look it was Pajama day at work, I didn’t even expect to show up yet. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
3680 What's MY name? Who the hell are YOU? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
3681 Seriously? I was even par! 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
3682 We are still undecided about LIV admission. 1.2000 0.04043 110 89 20 1
3683 What do mean by “were you a good boy” 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
3684 I identify as "saved". 1.2000 0.04126 95 76 19 0
3685 I was advised to wear my best Sunday clothes.' 1.2000 0.04500 80 64 16 0
3686 We don't care if it was Covid-19, Monkeypox, or your pure stupidity. But, you're dead and you're going to stay that way. Wings are the 2nd door on the left. 1.2000 0.04766 105 88 13 4
3687 Nobody here cares that you were a terrible golfer in your previous life. 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
3688 I've been celibate my whole life. 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
3689 I was expecting questions about my checkered past. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3690 Judgement Day? I thought they said Pajama Day. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
3691 Please tell me my matching jacket is here. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
3692 I was on my way to the golf course...and now I'm here. Where's the club house? 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
3693 Well, yes, I did all of those terrible things. But it's not easy being good when you're a heterosexual white man in America. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
3694 In case I don't get underwear with my robe. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
3695 Aw, c’mon. ‘Go to Hell pants’ is just an expression. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
3696 Are there Rubik's Cubes here? 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
3697 What you see is my checkered past. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3698 So, pants were a bad choice, just like moving lock, stock, and barrel to Florida. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3699 Sorry about the pants. I was playing golf when I had the heart attack. You DO have a golf course here, don't you? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
3700 Don’t look so serious…These are my happy slacks! 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
3701 Mmm.. With those pants,I think you were sent in the wrong direction 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3702 I promise not to talk politics or politics. Please let me in. 1.2000 0.05519 90 77 8 5
3703 Yee may enter... but He knows that you cheat at golf sometimes. 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
3704 But if I'd known wearing these pants was a sin, I'd have never worn them. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3705 .....and which Commandment do you wish to remove? 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
3706 Fashion crime! Says who? 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
3707 Sorry, you forgot the Commandment about no synthetic fabrics. 1.2000 0.04924 100 84 12 4
3708 I went too far, and my coworkers sticky-noted me to death. 1.2000 0.06003 75 64 7 4
3709 I had a piccolo before I came up here. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
3710 I can explain the pants, if that’s the issue. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
3711 These pants are within the LIV Golf rules. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3712 You’re really wearing those pajama pants to meet God? 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
3713 They were all out of coats of many colors. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3714 I was supposed to get a coat of many colors but they screwed up 1.2000 0.04924 100 84 12 4
3715 My wife said they'd be more comfortable for when I 'crossed over' " 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
3716 My parents made me wear the pants. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
3717 For the occasion, I thought I'd wear my pants of many colors. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3718 If this doesn’t meet the dress code then why did you make my heart explode at Pebble Beach? 1.2000 0.04766 105 88 13 4
3719 Excuse my appearance sir but I was taken straight from the golf course! 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
3720 In hindsight I shouldn’t have bought pants that need to be plugged in 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
3721 Are you a fun of Elmer the elephant? 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3722 In my defense, they were a gift from my grandma. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
3723 Am I stuck with them?” -Sam Wagster, Chicago I 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
3724 I wouldn’t say there was exactly a dress code, but… 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3725 What do you have against golf pants? 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
3726 I wore my lucky pants for good measure 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
3727 Perhaps you're not familiar with our new dress code. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
3728 Your wife has asked me to transfer her to the other place if I let you in with those. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
3729 No thanks. There’s a special place in Hell for people like me. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3730 She said they're ugly as sin, but who's laughing now! 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
3731 I believe you'll find I have a reservation in the Hepcat Division. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3732 No golf courses here, we are environmental. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3733 Joseph. The brief called for a technicolor dreamcoat, not pants. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
3734 It’s a curation thing, you surely understand 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3735 Don’t worry, Joseph has just the coat to complete the look 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
3736 What? No Happy Socks? 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
3737 There is my eleventh 'Not After Labor Day' commandment they haven't been teaching, I see. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
3738 I was told there might be an extra set of white robes? 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3739 Here be Arthur, who died on Zoom. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
3740 Any stores around here where I can buy a matching shirt? 1.1983 0.03718 116 93 23 0
3741 Is this the lost and found? I'm looking for my coat. 1.1983 0.04280 116 96 17 3
3742 Where are the gates? 1.1982 0.04400 111 92 16 3
3743 It says a lot about cleanliness, not much about dress code. 1.1981 0.04530 106 88 15 3
3744 Sorry I'm not dressed properly. I thought I was only taking a nap. 1.1980 0.04879 101 85 12 4
3745 And my final round was two under par 1.1980 0.04879 101 85 12 4
3746 Could I speak with Betsy Ross, please? 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
3747 Did I get beat to death in the last hole? 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
3748 Just curious: Do you have a store that sells traditional men's clothing? 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
3749 What do you mean that these pants constitute a moral sin? 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
3750 Back of the line until I decide what to do about those pants. 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
3751 Well,yes,we do have a golf course here but it sort of an exclusive club, and there are no handicaps. 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
3752 I thought everyone received a white gown when they got here! 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
3753 OK, but gimme those pants first 1.1980 0.04226 101 82 18 1
3754 Golfer?" 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
3755 I hope bad taste in clothing isn’t a cardinal sin. 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
3756 Hate to break it to you, pal, but this isn't a country club. 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
3757 ´Couldn’t figure out the top, Mr Rubik?’ 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
3758 Hmm you can still enter heaven, I guess 1.1979 0.05048 96 81 11 4
3759 I was golfing at Mae-A-Lago and I questioned his ‘lie’. 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
3760 And clearly I would be caught dead in these. Any other fashion notes, jerk? 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
3761 109 on a par 72! Fore-get about it! 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
3762 It’d be a sin if you lost the jacket 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
3763 I couldn't believe my eyes. I had to get a closer look at those. 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
3764 I have to stop calling you on Sunday 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
3765 I heard a coat of many colors worked. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3766 No wonder you show up here. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
3767 There are no dress regs….until now! 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3768 Nope. Straight to Hell. 1.1978 0.05234 91 77 10 4
3769 Where do you think you are going in that outfit? 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3770 Great fashion sense should count for something, no? 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3771 Color blindness doesn't exist here, so we'll provide you with new pants. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
3772 Well then why isn't it 11 commandment? 1.1978 0.05234 91 77 10 4
3773 You still golf in them thangs? 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3774 Now, you'll notice my shirt is not stripped. 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
3775 The flowy robes are hopefully optional? 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3776 You’ll have to come back with different pants. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3777 Listen, I do appreciate the whole "I was naked and you clothed me," but seriously? We are talking all of eternity, right? 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3778 If you let me in, I can get you a pair just like these. 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3779 Well, I obviously wasn't planning on dying in them! 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3780 Asked to voluntarily recuse myself from The Best Dressed List? You can't include that, too! 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3781 I forgot my Social Security number. 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3782 In my defense, I did not know ' Thou shall not commit sins of fashion' was on the list. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3783 Will the jacket be ready by Thursday? 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3784 I've accepted his word as Godspell 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
3785 No one told me the outfit you die in is your forever outfit. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3786 .... but what about my Technicolor Dreampants? 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3787 So you’re saying it -is- a crime to turn your Rubik’s Cube into pants…? 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3788 I really dig your pants bro. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
3789 I was told there were golf courses. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
3790 Are you her majesty’s new secretary? 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
3791 They're eco-friendly. Doesn't that count in my favor? 1.1975 0.05671 81 69 8 4
3792 On one hand you committed murder,but on the other those are some sweet pants. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
3793 Like the pants 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
3794 At least I didn't die on the toilet. 1.1975 0.04451 81 65 16 0
3795 Who did you vote for? 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
3796 I know it looks goyish but my grandfather was in the schmatta trade. 1.1975 0.05937 81 70 6 5
3797 Aren't ya plaid you're not in hell? 1.1975 0.05671 81 69 8 4
3798 speak up! your pants are really loud. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
3799 I just need five minutes to find my jacket. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
3800 Sorry...we do not recognize "casual Fridays". 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
3801 I'll be honest with you - I've heard some pretty good things about the other place too. So can I at least get a window seat, or do I need to go down the block? 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
3802 There was some material left over from Joseph’s coat 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
3803 Those pants alone are enough to send you straight to hell 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
3804 Yes, seriously! Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid OR Piet Mondrian! 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
3805 Maybe in hell. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
3806 Blessed are the piece-makers? 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
3807 Sorry, you're not on the list. 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
3808 The plan is to keep the foursome going — but I’m a little worried about Charlie. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
3809 Can you tell me where the restroom is? 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
3810 It was a life of fun,fashion and frivolity. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3811 I think we need to discuss your checkered past. . . 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3812 You’re pandering to my taste in 90s fashion but you always left the toilet seat up, sorry 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3813 Do they come in size 40? 1.1970 0.05164 66 56 8 2
3814 Whaddaya mean "mortal sin"? These pants were a Christmas present! 1.1966 0.04247 117 97 17 3
3815 Thank you for your service as a traffic light cop. 1.1963 0.04080 107 87 19 1
3816 You're not getting in here with those pants. Go back and change. 1.1963 0.04290 107 88 17 2
3817 I just thought the Almighty would be more impressive—at least better looking, you know? 1.1961 0.03951 102 82 20 0
3818 Well, I had ordered the matching top. But there were supply chain issues. 1.1961 0.05031 102 87 10 5
3819 I'm Al Czervik's son. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
3820 I was just wondering if I could borrow Joseph's coat. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
3821 "I'm not St. Peter, I'm in charge of appropriate attire to enter heaven! 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
3822 Something tells me that you joined the after-life some years ago. Where have you been and what have you been doing all this time? 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
3823 When your guy got me off the golf course, what did you expect? 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
3824 Just because you have a podium? 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
3825 I’m sorry, you need a jacket and tie! 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
3826 Those pants. I must have those pants. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
3827 I'm sorry, there is a waiting list for the golf and country club. Better luck in Purgatory. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
3828 The 18th green of the Master’s and I missed the winning six inch putt. Literally died of embarrassment . Hard to believe, huh? 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
3829 Yes, I spent my life as an Allen Ginsberg impersonator in checkered pants. And I'm not ashamed of that. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
3830 Yes. I spent most of my life working as a traffic cop. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
3831 This is what I was wearing when I last went to confession.” 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
3832 Apparently some guy died in them. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
3833 You have too much colors for the world, you deserve heaven 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
3834 10 Hail Mays and you can keep the pants on 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
3835 Pretty spotty, my friend. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
3836 I thought it meant Go To Heaven pants. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
3837 You can come in but the pants must go. 1.1957 0.05182 92 78 10 4
3838 You're allowed in from the waist up. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
3839 I hope style counts. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
3840 Wow! I wish I had some slacks like that! 1.1957 0.04437 92 75 16 1
3841 Come on! I’m in fashion hell already! 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
3842 So as you can see, the only colorful thing I have ever done was buy these pants. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
3843 Don’t assume I have a checkered past. 1.1957 0.05182 92 78 10 4
3844 I bought these green pants and drove home… that’s the last thing I remember 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
3845 I was on a Zoom meeting when I died. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
3846 Of course, you lived right, my son. Though in vain. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
3847 What? No Golf?! 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
3848 No bonus points for being fashion-forward? 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
3849 I was told plaid pants would give me a leg up on getting in" 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3850 Is this about my checkered pants? 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3851 There's a special place for you in Heaven.... 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3852 Thought this place needed some pizzazz. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3853 Well, uh, Satan told me and my pants to get the Hell out, so here I am... 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
3854 You can't wear summer whites all year long. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3855 If I'd have known I was gonna die today I would've worn my dying pants! 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3856 You died on the wrong day. Casual dress is only optional on Fridays. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3857 Satan kept my hat 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
3858 I heard that to get into heaven I had to be ‘one if a kind’. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3859 The Flamboyant Funeral Home strikes again. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3860 Deadly sin type: Fashion faux pas 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3861 My widow never did like these slacks. 1.1953 0.04159 128 107 17 4
3862 you're in the wrong line; Rubik is at that other place 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3863 I'm waiting for my attorney. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3864 I brought my party pants to the end 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3865 Lord, can't we make a deal? 1.1951 0.04889 82 70 9 3
3866 You won’t find your tailor here. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3867 Great performance overall, but you just didn't stick the landing. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3868 You got me on laundry day. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3869 Am I dressed appropriately for this? 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3870 Your fashion choices aren’t part of the decision, you know 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3871 I I'm sorry about the pants but I didn't have time to change. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3872 The last thing I heard was someone yelling out 'FORE 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3873 I am looking for the lion king. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3874 Don't judge me based on these pants. I was in a rush. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3875 I'm sorry, can you please lower the volume of your pants? 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3876 Those pants are unpardonable. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3877 If I fibbed, it was because no one but you knew that I fibbed. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3878 Sorry, but we need to register the extra colors that you're carrying. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3879 I bought the farm on the 15th green. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3880 Look, I’ll let you in, but we need to talk about your pants… 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3881 I agree that missed putt was heart breaking 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3882 Heaven has a dress code? But this is a stained glass pattern! 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
3883 I heard tartan was trending… 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
3884 Well if I knew this is where I’d end up, I would’ve obviously worn dress slacks. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
3885 Can you forgive the pants? 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
3886 It’s the pleat in the pants 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
3887 I heard you can part the red seams 1.1948 0.04351 77 64 12 1
3888 Obviously, I wasn’t prepared to die 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
3889 Squirrel! 1.1944 0.05172 108 94 7 7
3890 That's a really big lectern. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
3891 I blame the Church. The priests never told us about the other deadly sin. 1.1942 0.04588 103 86 14 3
3892 Will my hair grow back now? 1.1942 0.04153 103 84 18 1
3893 If you don't like the pants I can take them back to the store. 1.1942 0.04791 103 87 12 4
3894 Please tell me we're twinning. 1.1942 0.04588 103 86 14 3
3895 No, I wasn’t born in Lithuania, but I like their flag. 1.1939 0.04268 98 80 17 1
3896 Yes they are very striking, but we're like Wimbledon. Only white is worn here. 1.1939 0.04508 98 81 15 2
3897 I thought 'why not try to take them with me?' 1.1939 0.04508 98 81 15 2
3898 My golf partner told me these pants were "heavenly". What do you think? 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
3899 Yes, God is merciful. God also has a well-honed sense of fashion. Admission request denied. 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
3900 It wasn’t me. It was the 70s. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
3901 I admit my career was checkered, but it was colorful. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
3902 ‘Checkered PAST,’ ‘Checkered PANT,” …anyone could miss a small typo like that! Anyway, they took one look at my outfit and sent me right back up here to get the record straightened out. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
3903 In my defense, I didn't know that fashion sense was a prerequisite for entry. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
3904 Traffic accident. 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
3905 I wanted to make an entrance. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
3906 There’s no place for you; anywhere 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
3907 May I go back ? I forgot my password. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3908 Mariticide? 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3909 Covid didn't get me. But the plaid pajamas really made the grim reaper laugh. 1.1932 0.04233 88 71 17 0
3910 Shh, please keep it down...my mother-in-law is here somewhere. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
3911 Can you forgive my checkered past? 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
3912 whelp, the fashion police disagreed but I still think they’re to die for. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
3913 Not cloud 9, I guess? 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3914 I was counting on a little more time. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
3915 Hi, I know the lead singer Jesus. I should be on the guest list. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3916 I’m sorry, but due to your checkered past Incant allow admission! 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
3917 I know, but Purgatory wouldn't let me leave them there. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
3918 Sorry. My mortician's sense of humor clearly missed the mark. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
3919 I'm sorry sir, but the dress code is amazing technicolor dreamcoat and tie. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
3920 You're kidding....it all comes down to fashion sense? Should never have let my wife choose my clothes! 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
3921 One day your in, and the next day you’re out” haha just kidding. @newyorkercartoon 1.1932 0.05566 88 76 7 5
3922 Give it a go madame sphinx! I’m a real wiz when it comes to riddles and puzzles! 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
3923 They look great when I shuffle dance. 1.1928 0.04356 83 67 16 0
3924 Is this late check in? 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3925 Matching sweater optional? 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3926 We don't look lightly upon fashion suicide. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3927 Do you have proof of vaccination and a photo ID? 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3928 I lost my ball 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3929 Is that what you’re wearing? 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3930 Well…it just seems like an ETERNITY since we updated our look… 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3931 Have you seen an honest man pass this way? 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3932 Come back when the golf course is ready. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3933 Can I come back after I play the back nine? 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3934 Joe, have I got a coat for you. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3935 Sorry Peter, I didn't wake up and change my clothes. 1.1928 0.04356 83 67 16 0
3936 Yes, and Dolly got the coat . . . 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3937 Norwegian curling heaven is next door. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3938 Stitchfix fail 1.1928 0.04356 83 67 16 0
3939 It's eye for an eye up here. You won't need your glasses. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3940 We’ve got another technicolor dream-don’t. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3941 OK if I go back for my golf clubs? 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
3942 I'm sorry but our choir does not employ a poly-chromatic scale. 1.1927 0.04604 109 92 13 4
3943 Sorry about the pants. I wasn’t expecting to go to heaven today. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3944 They told me it was casual. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3945 David said you’d like it. 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
3946 I wanted to put a human spin on this experience. You know…kinda like your beard? 1.1923 0.04749 104 88 12 4
3947 Seriously, a dress code? 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
3948 Matthew said, "By his ACTS ye shall know him"?!..... I thought it was "by his PANTS ye shall....." 1.1923 0.05787 78 67 7 4
3949 Well, Sir, the coat of many colors that Dad gave me never did fit right. I had it altered into pants. Nice, huh? 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
3950 Is there no one out there above the rank of nerd? 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
3951 I thought I died and gone to heaven after the hole in one but… 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
3952 The heavenly gate of bad taste is down the hill just out of sight 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3953 I'll be damned if you think I'm gonna change 'em. 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
3954 Can't you make an exception? In the golf world, these aren't a sin. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3955 Sure, judge me for the pants. Let’s forget what happened in Vegas. 1.1923 0.05787 78 67 7 4
3956 I can overlook the casual misogyny and racism, but those pants are a bit too much. 1.1923 0.05787 78 67 7 4
3957 I'm not saying I don't appreciate the personal touch, but these days most places take reservations on-line. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
3958 Why thank you. I stole them from my girlfriend's husband after I murdered him. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
3959 I gotta ask--what's all that laughter from over there?" "Oh, those are the alcoholics. They think they're the only ones up here. 1.1919 0.05112 99 85 9 5
3960 I'm here to see André Leon Talley. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
3961 You can dress them up or down 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
3962 Sorry,but he insisted I leave before I was really ready. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
3963 They're the "culot of many colors. Ya know, the coat thing was taken. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
3964 Is Elizabeth here yet? 1.1915 0.04849 94 78 12 3
3965 Apparently my wife wasn't' kidding when she said she'd kill me if I wore plaid to her mother's funeral. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
3966 A parting joke, it seems. I asked them to bury me in my tux. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
3967 These are my golf pants. It's not like I would wear them to church or anything. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
3968 Nobody told me God was colorblind, I wanted to make a good impression. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
3969 Uh, we don't have a dress code up here per se, but... no. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
3970 So, after all these years, you're still holding that against me? 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
3971 Sorry, I can't let you in. Those pants are a sin. 1.1915 0.04080 94 76 18 0
3972 Can I take a 2 stroke penalty? 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
3973 I uhh..Forgot a change of clothes... 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
3974 Trying to get in with murder? Cause those pants slay! 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
3975 Really God, stained glass pants?!? Glad I got here in one piece! 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
3976 I also consider myself a great designer. 1.1913 0.04260 115 96 16 3
3977 Forgive me for saying so, but from what I've seen so far, you could use a little color around here. 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
3978 I'm Sal, Joseph's stepbrother. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3979 Just put down fashion victim. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3980 With pants like that you must have played a lot of golf on Sundays when you should have been in church. I’ll have to check the log book. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
3981 I decided to buck-the-trend and see what happens. 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
3982 Okay, okay, I died in my go-to-hell pants. So there's dress code? 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3983 I'm wearing women's underwear. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
3984 I was just stepping out for ice when I forgot my keys. 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
3985 Look, I know humility is a virtue but it was a gift from my husband and I promised I would wear it no matter what. 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
3986 I know I’m a bit early - hadn’t counted on a Harry Styles crowd rush. 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
3987 That counts has vanity? Or bad taste? 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3988 Remember, I already had to wear these pants as penance for 7 years. 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
3989 Really? I was having the round of My life. 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
3990 Landis, party of one, I hope. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3991 Funny story. At first they sent me to the other place, just because I wear hella cool pants. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3992 Then in 1982, I was John Daly’s art teacher… 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3993 Mind if I run in super quick and check? 1.1910 0.04340 89 75 12 2
3994 Did you really have to get me while I was wearing these? 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3995 I just thought Heaven could use a bit of color. 1.1909 0.04379 110 92 15 3
3996 I come bearing my prime sins. 1.1909 0.03980 110 90 19 1
3997 After I died, the Devil looked at my pants and told me to stay away from Hell. 1.1905 0.04707 105 89 12 4
3998 Is that mixed fabric? You know the rules. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3999 Settle a bet. Can you hit a 1 iron? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4000 I think I confused the guy who ran me over. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4001 Any special consideration for people of color? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4002 Give me your pants! 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
4003 I plaid forgiveness for my pants sins. 1.1905 0.04508 105 87 14 3
4004 Coats of many colors, Yes. Pants of many colors, No. Although we have considered putting in a golf course. That angle could work for you. Interested? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4005 How was I supposed to know about the Bible's hidden "Thou shalt not wear checkered pants" commandment? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4006 Don't judge me. On Zoom no one can see your pants. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4007 Yo, God. What’s up? Got any advice for me? I’m all ears. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4008 Dress code? Where is it written? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4009 Jokes on them, I WOULD be caught dead in these pants. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4010 Madras slacked are not allowed. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4011 We know it was you. 1.1905 0.04897 105 90 10 5
4012 And how do you plaid, Argyle? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4013 10 hours of community service for that atrocious fashion crime. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4014 Double talk won't absolve your checkered past. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4015 Oh My God, don’t tell me you’re wearing the same thing... 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4016 Sheesh, I didn’t even know there was a Purgatory for Pants! 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
4017 You're saying that Heaven distributes its own pants? 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
4018 When I saw them in the shop window, I thought, 'Those are to die for'. And here I am. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
4019 Not my fault…I was born on the Main Line. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
4020 And how many times?? 1.1900 0.05260 100 87 7 6
4021 The coat of many colors has been done. I thought pants of many colors might give me a leg up on getting in. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
4022 Is it as hard to get a Saturday morning Tee time up here? 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
4023 I have a fear of commitment. Whenever  anyone asks me "What's your favorite color," I say "plaid." 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
4024 I hereby declare that this is the supreme drip pants 1.1899 0.04441 79 64 15 0
4025 Are you sure you can’t grant me a mulligan? 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
4026 Any chance you got those from a nasty reddish guy wearing Prada? 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
4027 Yes, I did cuss a few time when playing golf but #^&%@* it's a tough game! 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
4028 I know how this looks, but I wasn't planning to die on the golf course. 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
4029 Heaven has a strict black and white policy sir 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
4030 Please Sir, could I exchange these for a coat of many colors? 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
4031 I can't believe our pants are matching! 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
4032 My wife said, "You're taking those with you." 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
4033 They're my evening walk-in-winter pants --- unfortunately, I wasn't wearing them yesterday. 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
4034 Color limitations? 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
4035 I have a place saved for you next to Dolly. 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
4036 Do you agree to answer a short survey after our conversation? 1.1895 0.05030 95 81 10 4
4037 Gabriel said to take something from the list and found… 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
4038 I got them at John Daly”s garage sale.Why do you ask? 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
4039 You guys turned Christmas into WHAT? 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
4040 Well, you got me at my high school drama cub reunion. 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
4041 You want to talk about my checkered what? 1.1892 0.03932 74 61 13 0
4042 I stand behind my choices. (FYI that beard is no great look either) 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
4043 Enough riddles. We're late for the pyjama brunch. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
4044 Where in the hell did you get those slacks? They don’t belong here sorry! 1.1892 0.04527 111 94 13 4
4045 You're absolved of your earthly transgressions, but I just can't get past the pants. 1.1889 0.05216 90 77 9 4
4046 My wife buried me in my favorite golf pants. She claims I was closer to these pants than to anyone. 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
4047 John Daly, you shaved!! 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
4048 I knew I should have worn the matching jacket. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
4049 You must have misheard the message, "Be-ware your checkered past." 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
4050 Well the invitation said black tie optional. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
4051 I love those pants so you're in like Flynn because he wore ones like that too. 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
4052 I heard there was a causal Friday dress code for heaven. 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
4053 You're much taller than I thought you'd be. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
4054 .Bill,that fashion felony has finally caught up with you. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
4055 I had imagined a shorter Peter 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
4056 But I didn't mix the wool and linen. You didn't say anything about mixing colors. 1.1889 0.05450 90 78 7 5
4057 You combed the “Ninas” out of your hair. 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
4058 I swore at her when she said, "Hello Bozo slacks?" 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
4059 My Technicolor Dreamcoat is still at the cleaners. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
4060 Hell said, 'No Way!' 1.1889 0.05216 90 77 9 4
4061 Why, yes, we do have a few golfers. 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
4062 But we wear pink on Wednesdays 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
4063 "Sleeping? Sorry, there is no night in Heave> 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
4064 I see we both have our head in the clouds. 1.1889 0.05216 90 77 9 4
4065 Have you seen the remote? 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
4066 So you don't know where my keys are either? 1.1889 0.04149 90 73 17 0
4067 Are these pants punishment for being not so good? 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
4068 You’re right - Joseph got the jacket and I agree, the “technicolor dreampants” aren’t quite as amazing” 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4069 When you're a prep, you're a prep all the way 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4070 It compensates for my dull personality. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4071 ‘’I was a part time clown, part time librarian.’’ 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
4072 Is it usually this slow on Casual Fridays? 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
4073 I didn't notice that the light was red. 1.1882 0.05422 85 73 8 4
4074 So, Frank, is this how you repay me for giving you life? 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
4075 So, you actually can hit a 2 iron! 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
4076 Homer, you do know there's a dress code up here! Robes are not optional! 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
4077 Is there a limit to the number of wishes I can get? 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
4078 Why the face? You made them! 1.1882 0.05422 85 73 8 4
4079 "I broke your little dress code, now send me to hell already." 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
4080 Dress code is white tie and wings. 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
4081 The fashion police sentenced you to 5 years in purgatory. Do you think you have reformed? 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
4082 Since we are completely full downstairs, your habitual cursing on the golf course will be forgiven. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
4083 I did not know there is a dress code in heaven 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
4084 You're so high and mighty, but are you a just God? 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
4085 It was meant to be a coat of many colours, Joseph! 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
4086 But I thought Heaven was about peace and love! 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
4087 A white shirt??? After Labor Day?!! Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
4088 So, the distraction tactic did not work? 1.1881 0.04154 101 83 17 1
4089 Would you please stop clownin around and come down from there 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
4090 I am sorry I didn't know we had a dress code untill now. 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
4091 Mmm, sorry, no. 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
4092 What did you expect me to be doing when I died, going for a jog? 1.1881 0.03908 101 82 19 0
4093 I'll be your color consultant before you get together with our people in celestial wings." 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
4094 Yeah. They're kinda why I wound up here. 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
4095 So what are the golf corses like up here? 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
4096 Yes, there is a dress code. 1.1875 0.04270 96 79 16 1
4097 Hope you like my technicolor dreampants... 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
4098 I was wearing my jammy bottoms at Walmart. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
4099 Can I get in if I ditch the pants? 1.1875 0.04270 96 79 16 1
4100 You do realize those pants are a sin, right? 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
4101 Sorry, the the Loud Pants Anonymous Meetings are on Tuesdays. 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
4102 Even given eternity, this will never become fashionable. 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
4103 Please tell me you're not a fashionista. 1.1875 0.04519 96 80 14 2
4104 A crime? I thought it was just a saying. 1.1875 0.04756 96 81 12 3
4105 Thought i had to plaid my case to enter…….. 1.1875 0.04391 80 65 15 0
4106 Sorry, bad taste is THE unforgivable sin. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
4107 That was only one time! 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
4108 Have you seen my jacket? 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
4109 Well look who is here....the human Rubik's Cube. 1.1875 0.04981 96 82 10 4
4110 I left the golf course on 7/7/77 when You called and I’m still waiting to get in! 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
4111 Sorry but it’s Thou Shall Not Kill, and you’re KILLING it in those. 1.1875 0.04519 96 80 14 2
4112 I have no explanation. 1.1875 0.04005 96 80 15 1
4113 I know I’m supposed to hit it where it lies, but c’mon, that guy had it coming! 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
4114 Is this Hole 18? 1.1875 0.04391 80 65 15 0
4115 My only sin was passing over the matching blazer. 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
4116 Well... They are called "Go To Hell" pants for a reason. 1.1869 0.04227 107 89 16 2
4117 So Peter, do I get a handicap when you weigh my soul? 1.1869 0.04625 107 91 12 4
4118 You are not getting in with those pants. I’m sorry. 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
4119 Your Honor, it was either this or shorts. 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
4120 Did you have to send that lightning bolt just as I was putting in? 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
4121 A tasteful choice of "designer wings'" should pull the look together. 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
4122 I didn't realize the occasion required formal attire. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
4123 Can I help it if I'm a Genesis fan? 1.1868 0.05162 91 78 9 4
4124 My wife said it was "Come as you are." 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
4125 Like Joseph: a pant of many colors. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
4126 If all you can say is the pants are douchey, I think you need to let me in. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
4127 At this stage, this kind of sin is not accepted amymore. 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
4128 I can bring some color to this lifeless place. 1.1868 0.05162 91 78 9 4
4129 Somewhere is a poor family missing their picnic blanket. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
4130 I'm sorry, your card has been declined. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
4131 Has anyone turned in a technicolor dreamcoat? 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
4132 Please don’t factor in the pants. I was working from home that day. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
4133 For the love of me, don't wear those here. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
4134 you are sentenced to death, Roe V. Wade! 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
4135 Have you seen my golf clubs? Some dude with wings took off with it. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
4136 Ok. First, that isn't a dream coat... Joe. 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
4137 Hereafter has a dress code? 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
4138 This is my worst nightmare!! 1.1864 0.03891 118 100 15 3
4139 Don't judge me by the color of my pants. 1.1863 0.03874 102 83 19 0
4140 A long walk ruined. 1.1863 0.04772 102 87 11 4
4141 I hoped maybe I'd be taller here. 1.1863 0.04346 102 85 15 2
4142 This can't be the right agency, I expected pearly gates 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
4143 I'm really surprised to be standing here, the least thing my wife said to me was that these pants are a fashion sin. 1.1860 0.04221 86 70 16 0
4144 No soup for you! 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4145 Can you ditch those pants before you come in? 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4146 These are my lucky pajamas! 1.1860 0.04221 86 70 16 0
4147 Seriously, I thought we talked about those pants! 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4148 Cause of death: fashion roadkill 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4149 So you spent your whole life thinking it was well plaid?” 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
4150 Look, I'm sorry about the lump but I screamed 'F-O-U-R!' 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
4151 I heard tie-dyes were required. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4152 I gave the jacket to a homeless man in Washington Square Park who said he would vouch for me if he got here first. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4153 You've yet to repent for the sin of wearing those pants. 1.1856 0.03968 97 79 18 0
4154 You are definitely in the wrong place. You are definitely, definitely, definitely in the wrong place. Good God. No. No, no, no, you are for sure not supposed to be here. I literally don’t even have to check, you are 100 percent in the wrong place. 1.1856 0.05146 97 84 8 5
4155 It's me Roy G. 1.1856 0.04933 97 83 10 4
4156 Joseph, we’ll need the coat back, too. 1.1856 0.04933 97 83 10 4
4157 I can’t find this ball for the life of me. 1.1856 0.04230 97 80 16 1
4158 Don't hold these pants against me. It's laundry day. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
4159 I saw the tag that said “property of Satan”, but I thought it was a new designer brand. 1.1852 0.04191 108 90 16 2
4160 I assume you wish to have a place in the bad taste section. 1.1852 0.04343 81 66 15 0
4161 The wings and halo are gonna mess up my swing. 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
4162 You used my name in vain often when you had those pants on, and golfclubs in your hand. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
4163 Why, these are my lucky golf pants that I wore for a round of eighteen holes faithfully every ... Sunday morning. 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
4164 Zuck, you're freaking me out. 1.1852 0.04191 108 90 16 2
4165 Well, I think they would look great with wings. 1.1852 0.03755 108 88 20 0
4166 Fernando and his technicolor dreampants 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
4167 Actually, I’m God. I just think I’m John Daly. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
4168 I really didn't see the "dry clean only" label. 1.1852 0.04343 81 66 15 0
4169 And those are how you honor your father? 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
4170 Let me guess--party of one? 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
4171 I only managed to run toward the light, not get dressed in it. 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
4172 Heaven is in black and white. 1.1852 0.04343 81 66 15 0
4173 No entry for you. Those pants are an unforgivable sin. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
4174 Seriously, Peter? A dress code? 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
4175 Okay, you say my pants are plaid. But sir, I am glad my pants are plaid! 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
4176 Wow! I just pressed Penthouse! 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
4177 I dropped by for a chat, not for a lecture. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
4178 Don’t make me talk about the pants, it’s been a rough day since I put them on! 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
4179 Sorry, fashion crimes were added to the mortal sin list last month 1.1852 0.03979 108 89 18 1
4180 I figured this would punch my ticket into heaven. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
4181 Joseph stole my jacket, so you definitely shouldn’t let him in. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
4182 A "coat" is fine. But, pants? Not on your afterlife! 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
4183 When your shirt is so bad-looking you have to make up for it with your pants. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
4184 Well, I didn’t think God would dress-code me. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
4185 You’re not gettin into heaven in those pants. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
4186 Two Primaries Make One Secondary 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
4187 See, I lost my pants and this fellow, Joseph, gave me part of his coat to piece together for these trousers. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
4188 They’re my way of standing out on a cloud. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
4189 Since you're a single, you'll need to start on the back 9. 1.1848 0.04069 92 75 17 0
4190 I've been stealing from you. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
4191 I thought I grabbed the go to *heaven* pants. I went into the light … oops. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
4192 Here we observe Good Friday not Casual Friday John. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
4193 Can you please don't tell my wife... 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
4194 You're in! You're the first one to know I meant quilt, not guilt. 1.1845 0.04729 103 88 11 4
4195 Too soon? 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
4196 Darn you all to H_ ck. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
4197 Those trousers are an unforgivable sin. Access denied. 1.1842 0.04476 76 62 14 0
4198 They sent me up here because my pants are too ugly for down there. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
4199 I just need to ask Joseph if I can borrow his jacket again. 1.1842 0.04276 76 64 11 1
4200 But,... but... I don't even golf, I just like Mondrian 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
4201 Sorry, I didn't have time to change out of my golf pants. 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
4202 But I didn’t wear white after Labor Day! 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
4203 The rest of my sins pale by comparison to my fashion sense. 1.1839 0.04178 87 71 16 0
4204 ……Let there be light…… 1.1839 0.04178 87 71 16 0
4205 If you at least hit par I might be able to pull some strings. 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
4206 I don't know. 1.1839 0.04335 87 74 11 2
4207 I would have dressed for the occasion ... 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
4208 Wow!!! Uh., okay.....May I play through? 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
4209 Your time has not come. You must return until you learn some fashion sense” 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
4210 And then I said, ‘St Peter don’t call me ‘cause I can’t go’ and these pants are why 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
4211 They have deep pockets 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
4212 I was gonna let you in then you wore those pants 1.1839 0.03666 87 72 15 0
4213 Talk about a checkered pants 1.1839 0.04178 87 71 16 0
4214 - I was so ready to arrive, I even brought my party pants 1.1839 0.05551 87 76 6 5
4215 My mistake, I was told this was St. Andrew's Gate. 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
4216 Sir, I don’t know why I’m here, I was just fixing my roof a minute ago. 1.1837 0.05097 98 85 8 5
4217 He doesn't take dictation. 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
4218 I knew him yeah… I can’t plea The fifth here??? 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
4219 Blessed are the meek, not the fleek! 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
4220 I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes into The Club except through me. 1.1835 0.03946 109 90 18 1
4221 I never heard them yell, “FOUR”. 1.1835 0.04355 109 92 14 3
4222 I know, but the Coat of Many Colors was already taken, so I had to improvise. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
4223 They’re called breasts and we all have them. 1.1829 0.05789 82 72 5 5
4224 I didn't have a 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
4225 Since you said this isn't a "Clothing Optional" zone... 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
4226 I just think you’ll be happier there” 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
4227 If this was a zoom call like I asked you wouldn't have to see them. 1.1829 0.05522 82 71 7 4
4228 Bill Murray is a comedian. Most of his suggestions are simply for yuk yuks. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
4229 Truly,these pants were a gift. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
4230 Sorry, only whites allowed here. 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
4231 I'm sorry but nobody mentioned a dress code in the email. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
4232 Forgive me father. I thought white pants in winter was the only mortal sin. 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
4233 Could you direct me to the Checkered Gates? 1.1829 0.04467 82 70 10 2
4234 Such a checkered past and you want in, no questions asked? 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
4235 Shanking it on the 18th hole could give anyone a heart attack... welcome. 1.1828 0.04030 93 76 17 0
4236 If snappy fashion statements are a sin, guilty as charged! 1.1828 0.04310 93 77 15 1
4237 She wants to know what color sweater she should get me. 1.1828 0.04310 93 77 15 1
4238 If I had only known I wouldn't have dressed this casual. 1.1828 0.04310 93 77 15 1
4239 You have had a checkered past, you know. 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
4240 Excuse me, but doesn't that Reject List say ". . . checkered PAST? 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
4241 Is it a sleep death or a zoom death?” 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
4242 Well, the pants are what saved me. 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
4243 You're welcome to stay. But you're going to have to do something about those pants! 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
4244 Pants pants bo pants, banana fanna bo fants, fe fi fo fants, pantssss. Let's do Lion! Lion lion bo bion, banana fanna bo lion..... 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
4245 You should have read the fine print. 'Thou Shall Not Wear Plaid." 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
4246 It wasn't technically suicide, it was suicide by fashion cops. 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
4247 I was eating rainbow sherbet when it happened. 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
4248 Well, shucks, I didn't realize you were counting fashion sins too. 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
4249 Yo, Piet Mondrian. I thought you came through here in 1944. 1.1818 0.04393 99 83 14 2
4250 And then Dorris said Filene’s is having a close out sale on golf attire and I said ‘But I don’t golf Dorris’ and she said ‘But you never know when you will get to start’ and I said…are you listening?This is important. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
4251 Whites only. 1.1818 0.05249 88 76 8 4
4252 If I wait a little, I wil be in again! 1.1818 0.04840 99 85 10 4
4253 As long as it wasn't white after labor day, you should be ok. 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
4254 No, you're not getting in here in those slacks. 1.1818 0.04135 88 72 16 0
4255 Mar-A-Lardo, St. Peter. Why? 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
4256 The Yacht Club is that way. 1.1818 0.05249 88 76 8 4
4257 As it turns out, some people take black tie very seriously. 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
4258 Guru, please tell me why people still believe Trump 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
4259 What, golfers aren't let in??" 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
4260 It's just a fashion statement - I had a checkered and colorful life 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
4261 Pawn to pawn4 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
4262 Righteous pants. Thou mayest, Big Dummy. 1.1818 0.05249 88 76 8 4
4263 A little loud but it stopped the bow tie taunts. 1.1818 0.04135 88 72 16 0
4264 You’ll have to go back I’ve got you on my list for next year 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
4265 OK, I can let you through the Pearly Gates, but the Augusta National is exclusive 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
4266 That’s what my wife said. 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
4267 So they didn’t distract you from my checkered past? 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
4268 Look, I had just put on the first pants I could find when you called me to come up. 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
4269 I didn't know I'd be needing a reservation. 1.1818 0.04393 99 83 14 2
4270 The changing room on the lower level is closed. 1.1818 0.04424 77 63 14 0
4271 Yes. My greatest creation yet. Go dazzle ‘em, Jerry. 1.1818 0.04319 110 93 14 3
4272 Another mystery solved. 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
4273 If you tell me where I can get a pair of pants like THAT, I'll tell you MORE than the meaning of life! 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
4274 Technically, you're working on the sabbath; So let me in, or I'm telling... 1.1810 0.04444 105 89 13 3
4275 We don't give a shirt about how your pants look. 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
4276 Yes, apparel choices can result in loss of admission. 1.1809 0.05231 94 82 7 5
4277 Yes, you lead a good life… but we have a dress code for a reason. 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
4278 What? It's a sin to wear plaid 1.1809 0.04132 94 80 12 2
4279 Oh,excuuuse me! I thought we were in America! 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
4280 The difference is that He can’t see what I am wearing. 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
4281 Oh Donald, what big hair you have? 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
4282 I've got an extra-large if you're interested... 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
4283 This is the Lisztomania convention- the Lithuania convention is one cloud over. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
4284 Being una circus doesn’t help you. 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
4285 Looks like I've crossed the Rubikon. 1.1809 0.03991 94 77 17 0
4286 I’m sorry, but we kinda filled the “technicolor clothing guy” quota about 3000 years ago. 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
4287 The colorblind ones always give me a giggle. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
4288 I was a terrible husband and father 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
4289 Patchwork pants should count for something. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4290 What have I done with my life? I gave a T.E.D. talk on laundry called, " Whites, Lights, and Dark. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4291 You made it in, but you'll have to live in the "poor taste" section. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4292 Really? That's not what Jesus said... 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4293 John Daly said these would get me in for sure. 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
4294 And the Lord said unto Samuel, ""Lo, the eighties called..." 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4295 I solved Rubin cube, I’m in, right? 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4296 Sorry. Plaid is not in this year. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4297 I have been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4298 Is this a line for a Bible signing? 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4299 No jazz pants in heaven. 1.1807 0.05723 83 73 5 5
4300 Oh these pants I'm from the sixties. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
4301 I may have lost my life from a stroke, but the important thing is that I won some very exciting golf games BY one! 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
4302 I’m having trouble separating from my previous role as Jester, and ask for your wisdom… 1.1806 0.04565 72 59 13 0
4303 You are sitting in my spot. 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
4304 Yes, they come in every size, including Infinite 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
4305 …to be fair, it's hard to prove who really started the 'wassuuuup' craze. 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
4306 No way I'm wearing those robes. 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
4307 sorry, no checkered pasts 1.1806 0.04565 72 59 13 0
4308 Pants are not needed here and those pants are not wanted here. You have 5 seconds to decide! 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
4309 Tell the technicolor coat guy I found his pants. 1.1800 0.04795 100 86 10 4
4310 Sorry, we only wear white in here. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4311 What do you mean there's a dress code? 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4312 You may enter, Mr. Weatherby, but the pants stay OUT. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4313 ...I just picked up my laundry and about to change into some more celestial casual ... 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4314 If admitted, I promise to add a measure of nonconformity, at least in matters of fashion. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4315 Unfortunately, yes indeed...I've committed the sin of 'intentional fashion faux pas.' 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4316 St. Peter, your honor, where is the driver? She should have seen me. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4317 Don't take the phrase "go-to-hell pants" literally. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4318 At least I'm not wearing a polka dotted shirt 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4319 I died at the 13th hole. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
4320 We've already heard about your checkered past. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4321 I can fit you in with a threesome teeing off at 4:25 if you'd like 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
4322 I had an open casket and my kids are twisted. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4323 Was it the pants that did you in? 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
4324 So what was all that 'judge not' talk? 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4325 Can you draft a law against my wife buying me pants? 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
4326 One fashionista to another? You need a serious trim. And some color. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
4327 Well, my version of heaven has 72 holes and no sand traps. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4328 Do you have a golf course? 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
4329 : A fashion crime is still a crime, you know. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
4330 What can I say? My number came up during a round of golf. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4331 I told my wiseass son I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing these. 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
4332 Adam amd Liz were right? 1.1789 0.04728 95 81 11 3
4333 I don’t know what you’ve been told, but this is not a heavenly golf course. 1.1789 0.04728 95 81 11 3
4334 I believe you aimed too for the sky. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4335 So they're "parachute" pants. Grim Reaper said sky and I panicked. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4336 In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have worn these to the colorblind chess convention... 1.1786 0.05658 84 74 5 5
4337 No, this isn't Comic-Con. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
4338 Hey, give me a break. Theses were hot in the 70's. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
4339 I was about to double birdie the hole… 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
4340 Sorry. I was on the back 9 when I died. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4341 AITA for breaking dress code? 1.1786 0.04030 84 71 12 1
4342 Everyone knows you don’t wear colors after death, Dillon. 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
4343 Nobody's perfect. I should have added an eleventh commandment about those pants. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4344 This would look good with an all-white top and wings. 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
4345 Just so you know, we don't use Zoom here. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
4346 Did you really think those pants would help you get in? 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4347 you mean to ask about my checkered past or pants? 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4348 This is what happens when you don’t read the dress code part of the srvp letter 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
4349 You shall be judged by the high court in wearing those horrendous pants 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
4350 Oh high and mighty one, I still haven’t forgiven you dude for bogarting at Woodstock. 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
4351 Oh, c'mon. You're not gonna keep me out of Heaven for a FASHION crime, are you? 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
4352 I didn't know it was wrong to wear these pants. 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
4353 That’s okay. Augusta National had me forcibly removed ! 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
4354 I was inspired by Joseph and his dream coat. 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
4355 I will never trade these jammies for a pair kitschy wings! 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
4356 I imagine there’s a dry cleaner. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4357 Are you a Democrat or Republican? That will affect my answers. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4358 Please no perks just because I'm an adonis. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
4359 You rang?! 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4360 You mean “your only _other_ sin” 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
4361 Sorry, no one with a checkered past. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
4362 Sorry, it turns out the correct answer was snake handling. 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
4363 Eternal Sir, so - you have some questions about these britches? 1.1778 0.04053 90 74 16 0
4364 But there's not one mention of the word in the Bible! 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
4365 We don’t let criminals in here. Even fashion criminals. 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
4366 Sure, I am worthy. Look, I received the pants of many colors. 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
4367 Purgatory for the pants? 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
4368 I was told this is the casting call line for the sequel "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Trousers". 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
4369 I know.... I'm sorry.... I had a heart attack on the golf course. 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
4370 Finally... 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
4371 You'll be seeing a lot of this on casual Fridays. 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
4372 The fashion gods must hire a Director of Equity and Inclusion. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
4373 Have you seen my golf clubs? 1.1776 0.04367 107 91 13 3
4374 Am I underdressed? 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4375 You’re lucky a crime of fashion is only a misdemeanor. 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4376 Really? A jacket and tie? 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4377 Please tell me why I am here as soon as I put on this pair of pants? 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4378 Let me guess... Di Moretti? 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4379 Please let the record reflect that I'm color blind. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4380 How dare you bring color into my court! I sentence you to color jail. 1.1772 0.04854 79 69 7 3
4381 No one told me you had a dress code - these are the only clean pants in my closet” 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4382 I want to file an appeal. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4383 Did I screw up? I thought I read 'dress code, smart casual'. No? 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4384 Jim and The Amazing Technicolor Dreampants 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4385 Ugh - I fell off an art car at Burning Man.” #burningma 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4386 Sorry, we don’t allow your kind in anymore. 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
4387 I've never heard of technicolor pants. 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
4388 You couldn't have waited til after I played through? 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
4389 I bought these on sale so I'd have a little cash to share with my maker. 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
4390 So,you thought you could just Broadway Boogie Woogie up here, Mr. Mondrian? 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
4391 I know they're hideous, but I didn't plan on dying on the golf course. 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
4392 You'll note, sir, that I don't bring any blues up here. 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
4393 And you said your name was Joseph? 1.1771 0.04682 96 82 11 3
4394 If I'd known I was going to meet you, I'd have dressed up a little. 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
4395 I merit a refund on my greens fee. 1.1769 0.04153 130 112 13 5
4396 Sorry, somewhere I got the idea that those who are raptured leave their clothes behind. 1.1765 0.05339 85 74 7 4
4397 There is a dress code? Sorry, didn't know... 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
4398 The audience on the runway didn’t care for them. 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
4399 I feel a little stupid showing up in my 'go to hell' pants. 1.1765 0.05339 85 74 7 4
4400 Even Saint Peter needs hired help. 1.1765 0.04275 102 86 14 2
4401 you will be forever 3 down with 3 to play 1.1765 0.04159 85 70 15 0
4402 You have a hope in hell with those pants! 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
4403 How do you plaid? 1.1765 0.04041 102 85 16 1
4404 OK where you playing golf when you had the heart attack? 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
4405 Isn’t it rich? Are we a pair? Me here at last on the ground, you in mid-air. Where are the clowns 1.1765 0.05339 85 74 7 4
4406 The pants are fine but we still have a jacket requirement. 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
4407 Does it help that Jacob made these pants from his coat? 1.1765 0.04159 85 70 15 0
4408 Have you seen Jacob? 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
4409 Ready to play Sir 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
4410 … so then I deployed my backup parachute pants, but it was too late. 1.1765 0.04041 102 85 16 1
4411 As if I needed confirmation the 60s are dead 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
4412 Ever heard of the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat? 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4413 No, we don't judge you by the color of your pants. 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
4414 Go To Hell pants aren’t intended to be taken literally 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
4415 I want to speak with the real boss - your wife. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
4416 Is it possible to just finish my putt? 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
4417 Uh-oh. If there's a dress code, I'm doomed. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
4418 When is the happy hour? 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
4419 Can I go back and get my Ugg boots? 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
4420 The pants could be a deal-breaker. 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
4421 I'm hoping for a little grace and mercy. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
4422 Well those are better than nothing at all, but not by much. 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
4423 I'm sorry - I didn't have time to change. 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
4424 Now let me get this straight -- you're saying KANSAS is Heaven? 1.1757 0.05563 74 64 7 3
4425 Up until today, I've been on life support since 1976 when I drank too much at the Homecoming tent. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
4426 I thought everybody liked plaid. 1.1754 0.04535 114 99 10 5
4427 My mother sewed them. 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
4428 These should match your dreamcoat. 1.1753 0.03880 97 80 17 0
4429 Doesn't meet the dress code. Go to Hell! 1.1753 0.04148 97 81 15 1
4430 Your pants are heavenly. You? Not so much. 1.1753 0.05079 97 85 7 5
4431 Oh, for heaven’s sake! I’ve annoyed the hell out of all kinds of people by wearing these every day for the last two years! I thought they’d be acceptable here! 1.1753 0.04637 97 83 11 3
4432 Think of me as Joseph with the technicolor pants 1.1750 0.04086 80 68 11 1
4433 You're lucky my son is more accepting. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
4434 I don't care! Send me to hell! I'm not taking them off! 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
4435 I ordered them from Amazon, and they are comfortable. Is it really that much of a problem? 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4436 My pastor said they were "heavenly". I don't know what else to tell you. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
4437 Cloud for two please 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4438 You’re going to have to do something about those pants. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4439 Anybody can talk to God (even wearing those pants) 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4440 Fashion was my life. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4441 You've seriously never heard of Ted, and his pants of many colors? 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4442 Well yes, as a matter of fact I was playing golf at the time. How did you know 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
4443 I guess Judy finally had it with these pants, huh? 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
4444 sorry, my good man, but we have a dress code here. 1.1748 0.04664 103 89 10 4
4445 I know it's a sin, but how bad could it be? 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
4446 I was caught unaware 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4447 I didn't get to put on the complete clown outfit, when--well, you know... 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4448 Does it mean I can't go in? 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
4449 Unfortunately, there is no holy law against bad taste. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4450 I guess my wife misunderstood when I said that I wanted to shoot my age. 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
4451 Holy crap, Pete!…… Is that you? 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4452 How many years have you been in limbo? 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4453 With these pants, I DESERVE to go to the other place! 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4454 We've recently stretched to allow Nantucket red, but those are a stretch too far. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4455 Had I died before Labor Day, of course, I would have worn something else. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4456 May I go back and get the matching jacket? 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4457 Titleist 3? 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4458 Those unrequited prayers over your inability to get the girl…that’s not on me. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4459 I tell you what, "I can get a pair of these for you. Fair trade, right?". 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4460 Senator McConnell, even that disguise won’t get you past these pearly gates. 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
4461 Jacob never paid the remainder of his deposit for Joseph’s suit. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4462 Ready for the defense, Your Honor. 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
4463 This… wasn’t on the Bible, can we call Saint Peter 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4464 Same old, same old again... 1.1743 0.04671 109 95 9 5
4465 I really was sorry that we couldn’t allow your son on the course, but you, of anybody, should know the club has that unspoken rule about ‘no Jews’ ... 1.1739 0.04401 92 80 9 3
4466 Yes, we have a lost and found, but can you prove ownership of the coat? 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
4467 My wife says it’s a sin to wear these pants every day—but I suppose I’ll defer to you. 1.1739 0.03973 92 76 16 0
4468 So, I hear that you have been to the Hampton's... 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
4469 I came as soon as you called. I was on the golf course. 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
4470 As they say 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
4471 Is it ok if I only wear them on the golf course? 1.1739 0.03973 92 76 16 0
4472 I thought this was gonna be party time! 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
4473 I heard this place was getting a little drab. 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
4474 I didn't have the time to change my PJ, is it ok for the gala? 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
4475 It was a rogue bowling ball. How did you guess? 1.1739 0.05034 92 80 8 4
4476 "I knocked a couple of balls this way; have you seen them?" 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
4477 Gay golf? That’s a thing? 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
4478 But my pastor never said anything about a dress code requirement. 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
4479 Is it possible to reset my password? 1.1739 0.05034 92 80 8 4
4480 Welcome to heaven Mr. Rubik, class starts in 15 minutes on how to finish that DAMN cube! 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
4481 Piet will be happy to see you 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
4482 If I had known how overpowering your image is, I would have led a different life. Do you think you could fudge the book a little and let me in? 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
4483 I finally have an occasion to wear my stained glass trousers. 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
4484 Tim Rice tried to catch lightning in a bottle twice,but the sequel,"Phil and the Unfortunate Technicolor Dreampants" was cancelled early in its run. 1.1733 0.04400 75 62 13 0
4485 I didn't know whether my pants were telling me to stop go, or slow down 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4486 I don't See your life that much colorful from up here, 1.1733 0.04400 75 62 13 0
4487 Yes, the mask is thoughtful, but it’s the pants! Sorry. 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
4488 What about those who swing both ways AC/DC? 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4489 Well, there was a fire, and I had a bucket of confetti… 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4490 Any interest in joining the circus? 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4491 This is not a golf course! 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4492 The funeral was on casual Friday. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4493 For the first time, I'm hoping to be above par. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4494 I left the left my lucky striped jacket at home and look what happened. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4495 Harvard? Princeton? Yale? 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
4496 I wasn’t sure what to where up here. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
4497 'I'm looking for the guy with the matching coat. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
4498 My breeches cover my nakedness, yea, and they will also blow the lid off seniors' dance night. 1.1731 0.04415 104 89 12 3
4499 Can I have my accordion back? 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
4500 my grandma made these pants 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4501 It's pretty simple really. I was pursuing joie de vi·vre. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4502 Actually I have two pair, they came with the technicolor dreamcoat. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4503 Well, you won't make it onto the cover of GQ either, fat boy! 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4504 Recognize me without the red nose and funny wig? 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4505 But I didn’t know there was a dress code. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4506 My first choice would be with the car salesmen. 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4507 I don’t look good in white. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4508 Just checking out the area for condo development… 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4509 What’s up Britches ? 1.1728 0.04041 81 69 11 1
4510 C'mon, how else am I supposed to be friends with the angels here? 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4511 Can you check under the heading, 'Really funny guys no one appreciated?' 1.1727 0.04055 110 93 15 2
4512 Where’d you even find them anyway; purgatory? 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
4513 I think I left my pitching wedge on the last hole. 1.1724 0.05223 87 76 7 4
4514 I can't get in until I change my pants? Where is there even a changing room? 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
4515 Anna Wintour may not approve, but I LOVE THEM! You're in 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
4516 So my pants didn't distract you from all the crimes I committed? 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
4517 I thought my go-to-hell pants would meet the heavenly dresscode? 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
4518 I apologize if they clash with the pearls. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
4519 I got called before I had a chance to change. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
4520 You were in until I noticed those golf pants 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
4521 Wearing Lithuania's colors does not constitute contrition for the way you treated them Mr Xi 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
4522 I was on my way to audition for 'Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat' when it happened..." 1.1724 0.04539 87 76 8 3
4523 Checkered pants is the same as a checkered past! Entry denied! 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
4524 That is a sin which cannot be forgiven. 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
4525 I think youʻll find my only sins were crimes of fashion. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
4526 Are you waiting to see some of my moves? 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
4527 Please disregard my checkered past. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
4528 Just put me down as Jo-Jo and the Amazing Technicolor Pantaloons. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
4529 They told me “don’t worry…about a thing…” 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
4530 Well, what do we have here-a walking Rubik’s cube? 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
4531 I'm guessing you didn't get the informational brochure about our dress code. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
4532 Technically, they're called Dreampants. 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
4533 I assume my critics are in Hell, as requested. 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
4534 I think you're being a bit judgey 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
4535 But, they didn't find my body until after Labor Day. 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
4536 I apologize for the pants,I didn’t have a chance to change. 1.1720 0.03935 93 77 16 0
4537 There must be some mistake! I'm wearing dyed pants....not died pants!!!! 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
4538 Hey hey you, get off my cloud … 1.1720 0.04081 93 80 11 2
4539 Stayin' alive is harder than you'd think. 1.1720 0.04983 93 81 8 4
4540 Hell told me they accept bad jokes, not bad taste! 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
4541 No,I didn’t get the memo about wearing a robe. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
4542 I've always thought of Heaven as a never-ending tailgate outside the stadium before a big game on a fall afternoon. Am I right?" 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
4543 I plead the Fifth. 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
4544 Sorry , it was an accident 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
4545 If you don’t have a matching jacket, send me back to purgatory 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
4546 So I see you were on the golf course this fine Sunday morning. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
4547 All right, so send me back and let me finish my shopping. 1.1712 0.04220 111 95 13 3
4548 Simply returning the Technicolor Dreamcoat isn't enough to get you in. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4549 My eyes!! 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4550 I lost control of the golf cart damn it!!! And where are my clubs? 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4551 Go to Hell. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4552 Lucky for you, I'm color blind (God speaking if it isn't obvious) 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4553 I bought them on the Internet; if that’s a sin that bars my entry, I’ll take the heat. 1.1711 0.04545 76 66 8 2
4554 Is LIV membership cause for disqualification? 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4555 Are you saying your father has the same pants? 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4556 Sorry sir, we have already surpassed your demographic. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4557 Don't tell anyone, but I'm in the John Daly fan club too. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4558 I was told you have the same pair, is it not true? 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4559 Congratulations! Your subpoena is quashed 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4560 Sorry, I dressed for Hell. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4561 I'm a member at Augusta and I'm looking for a fourth for Wednesday afternoon. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4562 Can you get me wings to match? 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4563 I just checked out. Now I’m checking in. 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
4564 Can you point me in the direction of a giant beanstalk? 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
4565 No, but I do accept responsibility for my checkered pants. 1.1707 0.05434 82 72 6 4
4566 Thank you! They were on sale for 2 for a dollar! Shopping nirvana!…with all due respect… 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4567 Ain't you ever heard of technicolor dream pants? 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4568 I thought it would add some levity 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
4569 Daltonism isn’t a sin 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4570 Sorry, someone must have given you the wrong directions. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
4571 Finally I can stop worrying and be happy. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
4572 Peter looked back through his notes - while it certainly was creepy, there was no official sin against Robert dying while wearing John Wayne Gacy's pants; The main issue was how much he spent on them at the police auction. 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
4573 I didn't know about the dress code. Does that mean there's also a cover charge, or mandatory two drink minimum? 1.1705 0.04908 88 76 9 3
4574 I don't think I will fit in there with my happy bright personality!!!Back to Earth 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
4575 If I’d known I was going to die I would have changed my pants. 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
4576 Am I up next? 1.1705 0.04908 88 76 9 3
4577 Where's your name tag? 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
4578 Yes, yes, I was caught dead in those. Can we move onto the next section of my evaluation? 1.1705 0.04908 88 76 9 3
4579 I heard there are lots of squares here, and I want to fit in. 1.1705 0.05167 88 77 7 4
4580 Sorry, but we reached our quota on Madras slacks 4 decades ago. 1.1705 0.04908 88 76 9 3
4581 I didn't have time to dress appropriately. 1.1702 0.04933 94 82 8 4
4582 no i did not spill a rubik's cube on the way up 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
4583 Those pants alone will keep you out 1.1702 0.04933 94 82 8 4
4584 So I was just out for Bingo Night. 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
4585 I thought Reuben was supposed to stick up for me. 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
4586 I was playing the best round of my life, 18th hole, chipping onto the green from under a big tree when the lightning bolt struck. 1.1700 0.04034 100 86 12 2
4587 And the fashion police did what?!? 1.1700 0.04726 100 87 9 4
4588 The gates of hell are paved with bad fashion glad you saved those rescues, in you go 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
4589 I don't recall a dress code commandment? 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
4590 I thought I was going to go earlier when these were in style. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
4591 Please send me back. I promise I won't wear them again. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
4592 So you do exist after all.... 1.1690 0.05669 71 62 6 3
4593 And you claim they were your lucky pants 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
4594 So ! Nu ? You were expecting,maybe ,Bermuda Scwartz ? 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
4595 Mohammed came to the mountain. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
4596 F you pal! My dead wife loves these pants 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
4597 Well where I come from the Hamptons are heaven 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
4598 I hear this is a pretty exclusive club, so I wore my best golf pants. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
4599 You mean this must be heaven because Detroit has won the Super Bowl. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
4600 I was playing golf, got my first hole in one and apparently made a funny joke about it. 1.1688 0.05359 77 67 7 3
4601 I was hoping you had an opening in the wardrobe department. 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
4602 My granddaughter saved her Tooth Fairy money to buy me these for a Christmas I'll never see, so take your dress code and stuff it where your halo doesn't shine! 1.1687 0.05372 83 73 6 4
4603 Where are your golf clubs? There only for the heavenly players. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4604 Huh. Guess you can only fit 31 clowns in one of those cars 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4605 I think that you dressed for another place. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4606 I was thinking business casual meets MC Hammer for my big entrance. Is this good or should I change? 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4607 These pants just killed me! 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4608 We're having some supply chain problems with wardrobe." 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4609 It really wasn’t my fault. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4610 I really shanked it, haven't I. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4611 You took too many mulligans to enter. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4612 Can you tall me where the nearest Starbucks is? 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4613 OK, 'time is a river,' but can you also tell me where I'd find another pair of these pants? 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4614 I thought one pair of pants was permissible so I sewed them all together. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4615 Please note your acceptance into heaven is purely an act of pity based on the wardrobe choices you made during your life. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
4616 Breaking "8" on Sunday should count for something. 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
4617 But I promised my wife I'd never go out in these. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
4618 She said I could only wear them over her dead body. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
4619 God I bet you're probably all like, "what's with those fucking pants holy shit." I'll admit they look whack, but fuck if they ain't comfortable. My junk doesn't get bound up but it ain't slapping around, either. It's some good shit, God. 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
4620 Don't let those darn teenagers in my neighborhood in here! 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
4621 ...about the pants...let me explain... 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
4622 We're Whitely Supreme here 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
4623 I hope a fashion crime doesn't count as a sin. 1.1685 0.03991 89 74 15 0
4624 Is this where you return Amazon pants bought on a whim? 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
4625 Good news. You will develop better taste after a thousand years or so in Purgatory. 1.1685 0.04856 89 77 9 3
4626 I bought Rodney's Caddyshack pants at a charity event, so that's like two charitable acts in one, right? 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
4627 This isn't Kansas anymore . . . 1.1685 0.04856 89 77 9 3
4628 Hi. I have a tee time for 3pm. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
4629 The changing rooms are downstairs 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
4630 Crimes against fashion is a real thing? 1.1684 0.03860 95 79 16 0
4631 No, I did not make a reservation. 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
4632 You had to come in a pair of pants from a thrift shop? 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
4633 Jehejehfhhf 1.1684 0.04650 95 82 10 3
4634 So, if I could go back and speak to my wife one last time I would say, "You may have been right about the motley, honey, but I can assure you that irony is not dead." 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
4635 If you are not admitting based on clothing choices, my good friend, how can you live in the tonsorial underworld! 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
4636 These are my favourite golf pants. I didn’t know I’d be swinging your way. 1.1684 0.04650 95 82 10 3
4637 Non-negotiable! 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
4638 Sorry, flannel trousers goes on the floor below 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
4639 Need a change? Disney is hiring at the Lion King or Jungle Safari. 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
4640 Easy. I'll just change into cargo pants. 1.1683 0.03997 101 85 15 1
4641 Those pants may mark you as a man of distinction in New Canaan. Here, they buy you a non-stop ticket to Perdition City. Sorry, there is no appeal. Get it? 1.1682 0.04300 107 92 12 3
4642 those cries for me from the par 3 14th hole, well, I'm listening now 1.1682 0.04300 107 92 12 3
4643 The education giant. 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
4644 The conviction of the colored pants 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
4645 It's just, most of the people who wear white robes down there are...not so great. 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
4646 It's obvious now, but I hadn't intended on having a stroke in an Urban Outfitters change room. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4647 Tell Joseph I've got the pants to match his coat. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4648 Hello there, clowns go to the right. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4649 No. Just no. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4650 I don’t sing, I don’t dance, but I can definitely wear pants! Now can you let me in? 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4651 You let me die in my “happy pants”?! 1.1667 0.04837 96 84 8 4
4652 I am glad to be here ,but if you gave me a bit of notice I would have dressed more appropriately 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4653 What ...it's like Wimpledon? 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4654 So this tree jumped out in front of me. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4655 Ah, yes. Your husband warned me about your widower fashion sense. 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
4656 But these are my favorite golf pants, please let me in. 1.1667 0.03950 90 75 15 0
4657 Hello Mister Rubik. The results as to where you belong are actually almost 50-50. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4658 I thought they'd help my case,frankly. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4659 Joseph here: sorry I lost the matching coat. 1.1667 0.03950 90 75 15 0
4660 Your God, Godness, royal highness, I apologize for these pants but they got me through the pandemic and I love them! 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4661 Sir, maybe you’ve heard…..we have a dress code. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4662 The reason I called this meeting... 1.1667 0.03950 90 75 15 0
4663 You should see my hell pants. 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
4664 Ah - tell me - are you a French Chef or an English Chef ? 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4665 Well, it sure looks like you've checkered all the boxes for entry. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
4666 Yes,that's right. My father, Jacob, gave me these pants along with a matching coat that I no longer have. 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
4667 Your stay in purgatory is extended, at least until Tan France arrives. 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
4668 No,I didn't read the psalm with the dress code. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4669 Okay Boomer! 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
4670 All I've ever heard it called is "Pearly Gates" so I thought I'd dress accordingly. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4671 Better to annoy in hell than serve in heaven. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4672 So…you think I should go to H.R. first…??? That's Heavenly Resources; correct? 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4673 It's true. I have lived a checkered life. 1.1667 0.03950 90 75 15 0
4674 I see MGM sold you to raise money as part of their reorganization.. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4675 If you’re going to judge me, then I’m going big! 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
4676 Hi there. Have you seen my ball? Damn slice. Sorry, I should have shouted ‘fore!’. 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
4677 You look heavenly in those pants! 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
4678 So I told my wife I wouldn’t be caught dead in these” — mark kerber, highland park, illinois 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4679 I now understand why this list is so tasteless. 1.1667 0.05059 90 79 7 4
4680 We were dressed to attend her 50th reunion. She looked sizzling! I said, "Madras never goes out of style. " 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
4681 My son told me hipsters have a special place in heaven, hence the plaid pants… 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4682 I ‘m here because I gave mankind a desperately needed laugh with my pants 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
4683 Sorry, people found every book in the library a problem, and the building facade was said to be lewd which they spelled "lood". 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
4684 They came back from the Chinese laundry with my shirts. How was I to know they belonged to a lunatic? 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
4685 I can look past the unpaid parking ticket, but your run-in with the fashion police crosses a line. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4686 Dreamcoats, dreampants, same tailor shop. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4687 Wearing them was a living hell. 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
4688 They stole my coat again. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4689 Rainbow Riot is nowhere near Staple Grey and yes, I do have the receipt. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4690 So, I know I didn't get the chance to apologize about this on Sundays but I am sorry. Can I still get in? 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4691 You know why you're going to hell... 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
4692 No dads allowed in heaven. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
4693 Or, you could just send me back and I’ll get the matching jacket. 1.1667 0.05600 78 69 5 4
4694 Check the list again, I swear I’m on it. 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
4695 Cliff had always lived his life in a gaudy manner. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4696 No,no reservation for Mr. Checkers. 1.1651 0.04020 109 93 14 2
4697 I’m telling you, Man, it wasn’t me! 1.1651 0.03803 109 92 16 1
4698 Pardon the interruption, but I need to consult my wife on a fashion matter. 1.1650 0.03926 103 87 15 1
4699 If I'd known this was the Hairy Gates, not the Pearly Gates, I'd have used Rogaine instead of getting my teeth fixed. 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
4700 This moment arrived too suddenly for me to properly prepare. 1.1649 0.03788 97 81 16 0
4701 If I knew wearing these pants would get me here...I would have changed. 1.1649 0.03788 97 81 16 0
4702 Do these pants make me look worthy? 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
4703 I'm Jopesh's brother Reuben, we split up the suit of many colors 1.1649 0.04560 97 84 10 3
4704 No, really they are not fancy pants. 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
4705 Judge me for my actions, not my checkered past... or pants 1.1648 0.03911 91 76 15 0
4706 I, too, was a pharmacist back on Earth. 1.1648 0.03911 91 76 15 0
4707 Do those pants come in my size? 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
4708 Usually those pants would have condemned you to eternal damnation, but I'm feeling generous today. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
4709 I'm afraid that you have a taste worse than that of any angel. Do not enter. 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
4710 Well yes I had heard that the outfit you die in becomes your ghost outfit, I just didn’t expect it to happen when I was working from home. 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
4711 Yes bad taste IS a sin. Lose the pants to enter. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
4712 ... then she said, 'no need to get dressed, it's just CVS!' 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
4713 I'm pleading Plaid! 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
4714 Please forgive my wife lord. It was her sister's wedding. 1.1647 0.05252 85 75 6 4
4715 Did you really have to take me while I was on the golf course? 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
4716 Is this Heavon? Are you actually God? 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
4717 Love those trousers. 1.1647 0.04978 85 74 8 3
4718 If I can go back for my clubs, I’ll be all set. 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
4719 My older sister got the coat of many colors. 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
4720 You just don’t get it, Adam. The fig leaf wasn’t the problem. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
4721 Sorry. Plaid is NOT available in wings. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
4722 The Moving Finger writes and having writ Moves On . . . 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
4723 I couldn’t get the he** out of my pjs. Otherwise I am golden. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
4724 When skydiving to hell, always pack a parachute 1.1647 0.04047 85 71 14 0
4725 Did my putter make it in? 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
4726 The Bible never mentions sins against fashion. 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
4727 I worried about what you were doing when you lost your MGM gig. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
4728 Oh, well,dont get too used to it, I was on a pedestal once. 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
4729 Color is never a problem here. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
4730 Have you seen my left shoe? I've been looking for it everywhere. 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
4731 I was told there was going to be a party 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
4732 Who knew it wouldn’t be such a casual Friday after all? 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
4733 I picked them up at a rainbow sale and they're as comfortable as they are colorful. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
4734 "Putt-Putt Purgatory results show you lost your temper on the windmill!" Heidi Roe, Myrtle Point, Or 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
4735 My white pants are at the cleaners. 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
4736 Seeking the protection of “angles” proved to be Norman’s worst spelling mistake. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
4737 Yeah, you got me there. Buying these pants was a sin. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
4738 I have a reservation under "Gerald Pants" for eternity. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
4739 If I knew today was going to be the day, well obviously, I would have planned differently 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
4740 I'm sorry, but your ensemble is SO last testament. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
4741 And the Lord said, "Let they without fashion sense, cast the first plaid pants." 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
4742 How can I get people to take me seriously? 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
4743 My only wish is to give me a matched color checkered shirt. 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
4744 You may now thank the lord that people liked your stupid pants. 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
4745 Where is the Bud Collins pant contest? 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
4746 If you’re telling me there’s no ska music here, I might as well be in the other place. 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
4747 Am I early? 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4748 I'm not LATE, YOU'RE LATE. I've never missed a tee-time 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4749 You’re welcome here, but those pants have gotta go 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
4750 I was told I’d earned my place in heaven when I invented disco. 1.1628 0.04004 86 72 14 0
4751 I always said I wanted it to happen while I was playing golf. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
4752 Sorry, but we have a dress code here. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4753 Do you have any golf clubs I can borrow? 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
4754 I hope I can at least hold my pants 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
4755 Hey, don't judge me. I lost a bet on a 3 foot putt. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
4756 So you missed a 3 foot putt and then had a heart attack and died. Coulda been the pants, not us. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
4757 Since when is 'bad taste' a deadly sin? 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4758 You’re ok but those pants need to go right back where they came from 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4759 No statement pieces? Since when? 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
4760 What no trombones? 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
4761 The pants were on sale. That should count for something. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4762 May I suggest checking one of the golf books? 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
4763 Now that's an unspeakable crime. 1.1625 0.03955 80 69 10 1
4764 I refused to change my vote! 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4765 Mr. Trump, you've been lionized! 1.1625 0.05467 80 71 5 4
4766 No line? 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4767 Did you see my ball go by here? 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4768 Dress code? Who knew? 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
4769 What the heck are you supposed to be? 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4770 Fantasy Heaven: The Pants, The Pants! 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4771 Name’s Jacob. I lost the matching coat. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4772 Last thing I remember? I was driving, staring at these beautiful slacks! And when I woke up, I was here! 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4773 I see you have a checkered past. What do you want me to do? 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4774 I have a two o'clock with the Lord God. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4775 Yes I was different, but it's just one sin, you can let me in 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4776 Yeah, the pants. She told me not to buy them, so what could I do but buy them? 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4777 The fashion police kneeled on my neck and no one protested. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4778 They're not that bad. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4779 My pants were too unbearable for the mortal eyes to see. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4780 god: welcome my son, I’m sure you must have many questions! man: yea, do these pants make my butt look fat? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4781 He sent me back. Apparently there’s no appropriate “circle” for these down there. 1.1619 0.04088 105 90 13 2
4782 Look, we prefer to be called Little People, not midgets in funny pants. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
4783 Hmm, John Daly... John Daly....I'm afraid I don't see you in here. 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
4784 I'm not the perfect saint that everyone thought I was. 1.1616 0.03986 99 84 14 1
4785 What is the MANE reason I am here?? 1.1616 0.03718 99 83 16 0
4786 yeah right! Come back in 700 years 1.1616 0.03986 99 84 14 1
4787 Everybody Wang Chung tonight? 1.1613 0.04660 93 81 9 3
4788 Yes, your pants are tie-die-for but Fruit of the Loom is suing for copyright. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
4789 You were an angel all your life, until these pants... Next! 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
4790 The secret to inner peace is not wearing pants that loud. 1.1609 0.03962 87 73 14 0
4791 The pants are a sustainable weave. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4792 You can come in, but those pants have got to go! 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4793 About all those promises on the 14th... 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4794 Being a golfer is no excuse for your pants being lousy fashion statement 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4795 dddd 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
4796 My daughter told me it would be “bussin bussin” as the kids say. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4797 Yes,you have lived well and honorably, you’re going to need a waiver for those pants. 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
4798 Do I have to go to hell? 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4799 Uhm, can I get a lawyer? 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
4800 Begging your pardon, I was apparently misinformed that it would be 'leisurely attire to business casual' up here. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4801 Half of me was thinking this was a joke. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4802 You should be glad I wasn't wearing the polka dot shirt at the same time. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4803 With these pants, I don't have to hide behind a podium... 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4804 David had a coat of many colors and got in so why not pants? 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4805 The pants? You dragged me up here when I hit a hole-in-one! 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4806 Our dress code isn't the same as golf and yacht clubs. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4807 Sorry, I can’t let you into heaven. Your ass looks hellishly good in those pants. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4808 I cite Jacob v. Peter and the Equal Protection Clause. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4809 Here, every day is a Golf Sunday, right? 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4810 Oh God, I'm not wearing the right clothes for this, can I go back and change 😒 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4811 I have absolutely no idea who you are or how I got here. 1.1604 0.03581 106 89 17 0
4812 I was told you liked John Daly 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
4813 Uh,yes,there was some pumpkin spice involved. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4814 But it was the '60s... 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4815 I had to have them since they were on sale at Walmart! 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
4816 I hear he Doesn't even Play golf!" j k fuller. genoa, nv 1.1600 0.03949 100 85 14 1
4817 Is my club membership reciprocal? 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
4818 I'm only half colored, but I still won the presidency. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4819 Joseph wants his amazing technicolor dream pants back. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4820 Shopping online? Go to he double hockey sticks. 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
4821 Where do you want these pants go, then? 1.1596 0.03797 94 79 15 0
4822 I expect better during New York Fashion Week. 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
4823 Yes, I will change my pants if you let me in. 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
4824 I'd like a room near the golf course. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
4825 Excuse me Pete, do you know a good tailor in Limbo? 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
4826 I’m sorry, but there are no golf courses here. You’ll have to change your pants if you want to get in. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4827 Yes, I was planning to be here. 1.1591 0.04818 88 77 8 3
4828 You're not dead, you're just not hip. Yet. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4829 Hope you invested as much effort in your life course as you did on the golf course. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4830 I'm here to buy one of the misfit toys. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4831 ‘“You must be Marvin and The Amazing Technicolor Trousers.” 1.1591 0.04818 88 77 8 3
4832 I never solved the pajama puzzle. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
4833 I had no idea that wearing golf pants was such a serious offence. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4834 They ran out of orange, blue, and violet. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4835 I didn't know it was a sin to want people to like me. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4836 yes of course there's style points 1.1591 0.03921 88 74 14 0
4837 Needless to say, my wife sent me down. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
4838 Welcome to Heaven Frank. Good thing you're blind though..... If you could see you'd have no excuse for those trousers. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4839 You see... I thought I was supposed to CAUSE the Panic At The Disco 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
4840 Ozymandias, I suppose! 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
4841 You're on the list, but I simply cannot let those pants in 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4842 Bad time to pick up the dry cleaning. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4843 Yes, you deserve heaven, but those are the pants from hell. 1.1585 0.04058 82 69 13 0
4844 Do your checkered pants have any correlation to your checkered past Sir, or are you attempting to blame it all on “Checkers” , the Nixon White House dog that knew everything that was going on but wasn’t able to inform the media? 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4845 OK, well, these pants were made from patches I purchased at a charity auction, and hand-sewn together by persecuted bands of indigenous people from the Amazon - surely that has to count for something... 1.1584 0.04390 101 88 10 3
4846 Not enough points sorry 1.1584 0.03913 101 86 14 1
4847 I was about to birdie the 18th hole. Give me 10 more minutes and I promise to be a team player. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
4848 I’m sorry Mr. Murray, but we can’t let you in wearing those pants. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4849 Thought I’d dyed and gone to heaven, but looks like the black colour came out in the wash... 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
4850 Yes, I've heard all about golf's carbon footprint. But isn't there a grandfather clause? 1.1579 0.03761 95 80 15 0
4851 Yes, I admit that this is not the biggest indiscretion on my record” 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
4852 Really? I thought my Pants Of Many Colors would count in my favor! 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
4853 I promise I’ll change pants if you let me in. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4854 Let's meet in the middle at Jah-weh 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4855 Life is short and—the whole shebang is in the eye of the onlooker. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
4856 If I’d known I’d be wearing these for the rest of eternity, I would have done my laundry a day earlier. 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
4857 Are my pants too flashy? 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
4858 Yes, I tried to sneak in one last game of golf." 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
4859 Spare a swill? 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4860 Are these pants going to be a problem? 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
4861 Give me one good reason why I should let you in,those pants are a sin itself. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4862 These pants were a message from God, Mikey. Deal with it. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4863 SOOOOOOO I GET THE ALL COLORS OF 2020 ,BUT I GUESS YOU DIDN'T GET THE COVID-19 MEMO FOR HERE.... 1.1579 0.05636 76 68 4 4
4864 No one is dreaming of those pants. 1.1579 0.04568 95 83 9 3
4865 Death by Partridge Family bus is a first for us here. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
4866 If I'd known Heaven had a doorman, I would have worn black. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
4867 Of course my pants are OK; this isn't Wimbledon, you know. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4868 No, I am not the Fashion Police but I do have the power to enforce a dress code if you want in here” 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
4869 You said Cappuccino" "I said hot Chocolate 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4870 Sorry, we are looking for the dude with a coat, not pants, of many colors. 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
4871 I was just proselytizing to my foursome. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
4872 Meeting Mr. Hogan, 10:00 tee time. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4873 I was expecting a halo, but I guess this works 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
4874 My checkered past is behind me. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4875 Tell me something I don't know. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4876 He’s a 10 but… 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
4877 oka so what now 1.1573 0.04197 89 75 12 1
4878 Hey, are you the starter? When's my tee time 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4879 Even my weekend dreams remind me of weekdays 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4880 I hope ‘deal breaker’ doesn’t mean what I think it means. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4881 I wasn't aware of the 11th commandment, "Thou shalt not wear a loud patchwork pant." 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4882 Just couldn’t boogie no more, huh? 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4883 I’m flattered, but these would fall under the second definition of the word divine. 1.1569 0.04567 102 90 8 4
4884 I said "Blessed are the POOR." 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4885 I was an influencer when your call came. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4886 Yeah, with these on, I don'y know how I made it up here, either! 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
4887 I figured I might liven things up around here. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4888 Sorry, we’ve already met our traffic cop quota. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4889 I'm afraid your card has been declined, you'll have to try the other place! 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4890 They're BOGO limbo pants. Have I bottomed out? 1.1566 0.03826 83 72 10 1
4891 Sorry, only whites after Memorial Day. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4892 I sincerely hope that you'll take into consideration Peter, that I'm distantly related to Jacob and Rachel's boy, Joseph. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4893 I’m ready to limbo! 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4894 so... those are the only pants you brought? 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4895 I see you made some bold choices in your life, I am afraid that you got to take the elevator down. 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
4896 It says here “green flag” but I’m getting mixed signals 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4897 I promise I won’t try and solve them 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4898 Ok, Biff. You’re in, I guess. @sean_and_malcom 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4899 These are the only trousers I had. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
4900 Well, the phrase doesn’t go “send in the lawyers.” 1.1562 0.04523 96 84 9 3
4901 Don't be so judgmental. I wasn't expecting to be here right now. 1.1562 0.03575 96 83 12 1
4902 I want to color your world! 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
4903 They aren't plaid. Can't dead men wear loud multicolored checks? 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
4904 My name is Chuck and I’m and alcoholic. My wife’s been missing for 3 days. If anyone sees her, please ask her to come back home. 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
4905 So you’re saying the years of Sunday morning tee times are working against me right now? 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
4906 I thought I'd brighten the place up a bit. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4907 You're kiddin' right? Those pants were literally made in Hell. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4908 You’re lucky I don’t sleep in the nude, Pete. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4909 You know, I think some wings would really go good with these pants. 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4910 Heard you have a section for funky guys like me, where I could 'live it up!' 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
4911 When they told me to live every day like it was my last, I didn't think I would have to dress for it too! 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4912 What do you mean there's no Ren Faire? 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4913 If you want to come in you're going to have to put on a red nose instead of the wings. 1.1558 0.05250 77 68 6 3
4914 The social media influencers down below said plaid was the latest thing up here. 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4915 Well, your call came while I was changing. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4916 Yeah, I saw the movie, but this is J. Crew's madras cotton NOT plaid. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4917 There IS a dress code here." 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4918 Gosh, this is awkward but...I think I joined the wrong queue. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4919 Someone told me you were hiring. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
4920 Oh, but the red slippers didn't offend you? 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
4921 No its not the pants, those would go well with Josephs coat, your sin is wearing white after labour day. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
4922 Flyin in by the seat of my pants 1.1556 0.03842 90 76 14 0
4923 I'm sorry I messed up. My Go to Heaven pants were in the wash. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
4924 Those pants were a decision! 1.1556 0.03842 90 76 14 0
4925 It was the only clean pants I had. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
4926 In my personal heave, these pants are cool again. 1.1556 0.03842 90 76 14 0
4927 Can I request an earlier seating time for dinner? 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
4928 Extra points for style 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
4929 Yellow is a no-no up here. 1.1553 0.04525 103 91 8 4
4930 I'll give you the answer you seek if you'll tell me where I can get a pair of pants like yours. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4931 So I hear what you’re saying but what happened to ‘the customer is always right?’ 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4932 My wife gave me these for my birthday. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't let me in. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
4933 Bruh, you have 3000 HOURS in Super Mario! I usually don't say this but I need your help man. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4934 Doesn't my moral and religious character count for anything? 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4935 You just had to take me now didn't you. I was having the best round of my life. 1.1548 0.04936 84 74 7 3
4936 The Rubik’s cube competition is downstairs, Colin 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
4937 Can i go to heaven if i’m gay? 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
4938 I am God and you are an NGBTQWERTY ass hole. Any questions? 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
4939 I never believed there was anything literal about the name go to hell pants. 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
4940 Hey ! Wants up britches ? 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
4941 They were the only clean pants I could fine... and yes, I can see how it speaks to my "Judgment." 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4942 #My New Yorker caption "You're telling me no, you've got a dress code?" 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
4943 On the golf course I presume? 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4944 I was told the theme was, "Party till you drop". 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
4945 I believe you have my stapler! 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
4946 You must be Lance & the Pants of Many Patterns 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4947 I guess I'm not in Kansas anymore, right? 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4948 Do you accept nonconformists in here? 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
4949 I thought I could myth bust the old wives’ tale about separating colors… sir. 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
4950 Fashion Police 1.1538 0.03803 91 77 14 0
4951 So let"s be clear, if I change my pants then I'm allowed in. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4952 I guess all my other pants were at the cleaners. 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
4953 I was just changing clothes. 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
4954 You’re late! 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
4955 Your vision of the future is to sell any coastal property and move to Kansas? 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
4956 Someone ran out of paint. 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
4957 For Pete's sake! What's wrong with my hair? 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
4958 Joseph, Did you lose your coat? 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4959 Yes, I have been a horrible person for most of my life. However, as I said already… I am wearing funny pants. Now let me in. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4960 Hello? Broadway? Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat? Ring a bell? Donny Osmond? 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4961 lucky for you there are no fashion police in heaven at this time 1.1529 0.03927 85 72 13 0
4962 Clearly, you're not ready to be an angel. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4963 I have found joy in my life, I brought joy to others, and Jacob's son Joseph would likely appreciate his trousers returned. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
4964 ... and then I told her ... 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4965 But I got a hole in one! 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4966 Commandment number 11 will now read: Thou shalt not wear gaudy pants”. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
4967 Why did it have to be when I was just about to birdie on the 18th hole? 1.1529 0.05160 85 76 5 4
4968 Oh dear. That's two Queens this months. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
4969 Heaven is a very Black-and-White place. Those pants just won't work. Sorry! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4970 This couldn't have waited until after the 18th hole? (NOTE - only the word "after" should be in italics for purposes of this submission) 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4971 Can you find Joseph? I need to borrow a coat to go with these pants. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4972 I offer you ANY eternal wish, and chose to keep your plaid pants? Incredible. It doesn’t matter. They will be out of style within 6 months. You will live as far from the MENSA population as possible. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4973 If you were color blind, then maybe I would make an exception, but your taste in trousers is clearly satanic. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4974 I swear to you, it was my wife's idea. 1.1524 0.04010 105 91 12 2
4975 Dammit, online reservations never work for me. 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
4976 I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that thrift store sushi… 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
4977 I was directed here to lower rent paradise. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
4978 Putin, party of one. I'm his court jester - he's afraid to go out in public. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
4979 Can't believe my amazing technicolor dream pants helped me get to cloud nine! 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
4980 I’m sorry Mr Rosenberg, I just don’t see your reservation. Could it be under another name? 1.1522 0.03765 92 78 14 0
4981 Would you believe they were on sale and I gave the money I saved to the church? 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
4982 If you came down to my level, we might be able to have a conversation. 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
4983 Get used to it! 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
4984 Those pants do make up for a lot … 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
4985 I was told there were no waiting Tee times 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
4986 Your wife told me she’d be sending you soon, but this was fast. 1.1522 0.03765 92 78 14 0
4987 No, Sir, this is no rainbow nor is it a flag." 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
4988 The pants are going straight to hell, your choice if you want to join them 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
4989 If fashion crimes were a sin, your boss would be in Hell. 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
4990 I didn’t realize there was a dress code. 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
4991 So, I was thinking, you’ve already had the ‘coat of many colours’ … 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
4992 IS IT TOO LATE TO CHANGE MY SHIRT? 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
4993 What’s your preferred pronoun? 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4994 I thought that this was the Supreme Court 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4995 You know me. I styled Joseph's coat. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4996 You' need to leave this old black and white heaven and fly to the colored one above. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
4997 HERE comes trouble... 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
4998 How's the weather up there? 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
4999 Nope. Sorry. Unspoken 11th Commandment. 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
5000 'I hope there's no dress code, I wasn't expecting to be here.' 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
5001 My church believed that fashion was the gateway to sin. 1.1519 0.05431 79 71 4 4
5002 We're sorry. Everything in The New Yorker is black and white to us. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
5003 No, I said I feel quilty, not guilty. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
5004 Don’t worry I had the same pair, when I was a mere mortal 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
5005 Look again. I don’t think it says I have a “checkered past”. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5006 Do you need directions? 1.1515 0.03896 99 85 13 1
5007 I’m sorry, but one of you will have to go. We call it Oscar’s rule. 1.1512 0.03885 86 73 13 0
5008 This won't speed up the check-in procedure. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
5009 This is ridiculous. Let me speak to your supervisor. 1.1512 0.03885 86 73 13 0
5010 You are aware, Mr. Anderson, that only black and white colors are acceptable here? 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
5011 You're a cunt. No, seriously. You are a cunt. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
5012 Is it the pants? Come on, just let me in!" -Jonah Winer, 1 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
5013 You're not coming in with those pants 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
5014 I shot black and white movies all my life. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
5015 You seem to have forgotten your matching cardigan Mr Styles 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
5016 Hello young mane - I'mma here for the highest court plaidings. 1.1509 0.03975 106 92 12 2
5017 I guess this is somebody's idea of gallows humor 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
5018 I knew it would work! 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5019 You've still got a lot to learn I see. *Drops him back on Earth* 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5020 Frogs on pants are OK. Patches, no. 1.1505 0.03728 93 79 14 0
5021 another guy got the coat 1.1505 0.03728 93 79 14 0
5022 I think I'm here before my time 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
5023 A room with a view away from the elevators, please. 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
5024 Quiet Quitting Out Loud. Unprecedented. I hope your not thinking Special Master . .. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
5025 But I was told to dress for the job I really wanted. And that there'd be cake. 1.1500 0.05063 80 71 6 3
5026 They go with a coat of many colors. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
5027 Do you have a golf club? 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
5028 The last thing I remember was having the time of my life at a barbecue in Vanuatu. 1.1500 0.05063 80 71 6 3
5029 No, we don't have casual Fridays up here. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
5030 Yes, they’re my golf pants. It was chilly last night and all my pj bottoms were in the wash. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
5031 Morris, come home. 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
5032 Swearing after a double bogie on that Par 3 on the 14th hole... c'mon a little mercy here, please. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
5033 Sorry. You called me on Barbershop quartet night. 1.1500 0.05063 80 71 6 3
5034 Humor me. I always hated denim. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
5035 Yes, I have a checkered past, but think of all the bad things I didn’t do. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
5036 I'm sorry - being color blind is not an excuse for poor taste. 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
5037 John Daly? Heaven must be easier to get into than the capital building. 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
5038 Saint Peter "wearing plaid ain't helping BLM .. you put wealth above black lives nationwide suffering in silence and we heard all their prayers 'praying for BLM's assistance'" 🙏🏽🙏🏽 1.1500 0.06210 60 54 3 3
5039 This appropriation will not stand, man… Denied 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
5040 I hear you favor technicolor attire 1.1495 0.03940 107 93 12 2
5041 I don't care what kind of pants you wear, you're not getting in here with your Google search history 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
5042 Is that really you God? 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
5043 Now I lay me down to rest, I pray to my plaid paints to keep.....right? 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
5044 No sir, I'm not making it up, lack of fashion sense is really a sin. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
5045 It’s lucky you died on casual Friday. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
5046 Dad gave me a coat to go with this outfit, but my wife took it to goodwill. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
5047 Did you see happen to see a Titleist Pro V1? 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
5048 And how much did you dte to women's issues? 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
5049 Those are a little distracting, you may want to take your glasses off. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
5050 Well, I didn't know that you were colorblind when I bought them, now did I? 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5051 Crap. My wife was sure you'd appreciate the madras look. 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
5052 Well, no, I’m not surprised that madras pants are a violation of the dress code. 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
5053 Is anyone wearing this in heaven? 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
5054 Beware---Ozymandias did not have any Confederate generals named after him either! 1.1489 0.03692 94 80 14 0
5055 I didn't think that "little green lies" counted....after all, it's only a golf game. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
5056 What do you mean, ‘so you golfed, so what?’ 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
5057 Come on...Let me go back. I was on the 17th and under par. 1.1486 0.05333 74 66 5 3
5058 I guess wearing plaid pants wasn't the best choice for Judgement Day. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
5059 I love the Rubrik of these clouds and its feels like home sweet home! 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
5060 I was a rubik’s cube enthusiast in life, and I’ll be one in death. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
5061 Pray, color my world! 1.1486 0.03935 74 65 8 1
5062 I was hoping these pants would make the rest of my life look normal in comparison... 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
5063 i wanted to look my best in case i was chosen to get in... 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
5064 They were on sale, really! 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
5065 It may be difficult for me to rise to the occasion … 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
5066 My holiday pants? 1.1485 0.04311 101 89 9 3
5067 I see that you dressed up for Judgement Day. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
5068 ...and furthermore I played golf with President Trump 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
5069 So, I see here that during your earthly lifetime, you were NOT kind to cats. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
5070 Emmett III suddenly regrets every Bigfoot joke he ever told. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
5071 I was kinda blah down below and thought my chances would be better if I were a little more colorful. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
5072 My son the trousers alone don’t establish direct descendency from Joseph but I may see some golf lineage. Would you like to amend your application? 1.1481 0.05003 81 72 6 3
5073 Joseph, you can ask as many times as you want but my answer is the same, no I haven’t seen your coat. Have you checked with Anthony? 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
5074 I do see your name here, but those pants… 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
5075 It all started when I went to the Indianapolis 500 ... 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
5076 You seem like a nice guy but we kind of have to have standards up here. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
5077 I told Gertrude I wouldn’t go to hell if I wore these pants 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
5078 Too much pride, maybe? 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
5079 Surely fashion counts for something. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
5080 But they loved this in Vegas, honest to… oh. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
5081 You passed every test but our dress code. I'm sorry. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
5082 How much does cheating at golf count? 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
5083 It goes unsaid! 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
5084 If I get in, I’m wearing the pants and ordering a martini. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
5085 Don’t tell me. You’re here because you committed fashion suicide. 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
5086 Are you kidding? Color vision is over! 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
5087 Can I speak to the manager please? 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
5088 The BTK Killer? That's not me, but I think I saw him in the waiting room. Bald, kind of handsome, khaki pants. 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
5089 'At some point you needed to take responsibility, it was school, your marriage, your children, and obviously your wardrobe." 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
5090 That's just God. He thinks he's a doorman. 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
5091 I would like to spend eternity in comfortable pants. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
5092 your pants might of gotten you this far, but they won't keep you here. Take the down escalator on your left. Next. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
5093 Don't judge me, they're comfortable. 1.1475 0.05647 61 54 5 2
5094 So , are you the guy that designed Paradise , or was it the Ark ? 1.1474 0.04482 95 84 8 3
5095 I have no idea what caused the stampede. 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
5096 I'm Patch Adams, the doctor that makes terminally ill children smile. Why do you give children painful, terminal illnesses? 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
5097 Honest, I know these pants stand out a bit, but right before the heart attack I was only trying to get a laugh out of my my wife when I tried them on. 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
5098 I'm afraid your biography is too colorful and patchy for entrance. 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
5099 I blame my hair on Covid…what’s your excuse for those pants? 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
5100 Hello, my name is Bruce 1.1471 0.03790 102 88 13 1
5101 I told the wife I'd rather die than wear these 'jaunty trousers'. Guess who won that bet? 1.1471 0.04038 102 89 11 2
5102 I was the PR guy for a halal food truck. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5103 They were a gift...from my rabbi. 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5104 I was on the golf course when you called. By the way, did I make the putt? 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5105 Unfortunately, crimes of fashion will land you in Hell, too. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5106 I know my reputation precedes me but I still wanted to dress the part 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
5107 But I came straight from the Derby! 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
5108 First, you have to change your pajamas... 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
5109 I got them out of the hamper, they’re my hole in one lucky pants. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
5110 I thought your job might get boring so I decided to tickle your funny bone. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
5111 I built that stairway to paradise. Now that I'm here what's next? 1.1463 0.04945 82 73 6 3
5112 And I thought God was supposed to be color-blind." 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
5113 Now Mr. Rubik, I don't care if Hungary has been allowed into the European Union, you're not allowed into Heaven until you sort your trousers out 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
5114 Says here, you did a lot of notable slacking in life. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
5115 Yes, these are my pants. Why do you ask? 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
5116 I don’t have Ronnie of Arimethea’s on the list tonight 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
5117 A jury of your peers wouldnt dig the pants either, I'm afraid. 1.1463 0.04945 82 73 6 3
5118 Somehow this question was leaked down there quite some time ago. 1.1461 0.03765 89 76 13 0
5119 No, this is not the last hole. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
5120 Can you check again? “Pants” is just a nickname. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
5121 The priest said these were fine to wear. Unless you're handing out second chances. 1.1461 0.03765 89 76 13 0
5122 I guess I'll try hell then. They don't also have a dress code, do they? 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
5123 Wooster, is it? I appear to have a NUMBER of sartorial objections before me ...? 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
5124 Sorry God, they told me the afterlife is the real party so, I decided to die with my funky pants to be ready to dance. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
5125 I couldn’t get the full suit… the jacket was already taken. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
5126 You sacrificed your soul at the altar of golf. Do you really think you can come in here? 1.1458 0.03621 96 82 14 0
5127 « Opportunity makes jesters » 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
5128 My name's Joseph, not Sheldon, and you've made 2 other mistakes. First, I was supposed to have been issued a coat of many colors. Second, I shouldn't even be here yet. I've got important business with some guy named Pharaoh. 1.1456 0.04232 103 91 9 3
5129 I'm sorry, we have a strict dress code. 1.1456 0.04001 103 90 11 2
5130 So I'm doomed to eternity in Hell because of my taste in fashion? Isn't that hitting below the belt? 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
5131 If you had a thorn in your foot I'd take it out, but I can't reach you. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
5132 No, sir, I think you'll find your wife was saying 'check your pants'... 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
5133 My pronouns were he/him. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5134 I swear I am a staunch supporter of LGBTQ 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
5135 This is the good place, not "The Good Place." 1.1447 0.05199 76 68 5 3
5136 They're very popular with the LIV folks. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5137 Don't worry, I brought a pair for everyone. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5138 Ah … well … there really is no accounting for taste. 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
5139 Oh, the evolution didn't get up here yet? 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5140 Sorry I forgot the formality of the occasion. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5141 I wanted my life's accomplishments stored in the cloud. Where are they?" 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5142 Mr.Albert Einstein!!!..nice to meet ya 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5143 Did the bull also get to your golfing partner? 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
5144 Nothing compares to the spectacular chimney views. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
5145 I knew I should have stayed in my shell. 1.1446 0.05180 83 75 4 4
5146 The Commandments did NOT mention a dress code! 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
5147 Listen, Pete, I honestly didn't know that madras pants were that bad... 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
5148 You should have contacted me from your closet. 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
5149 I thought maybe I could color your judegment? 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
5150 No, there isn't a special place in heaven for preppies. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
5151 Yes. I do play Wordle in my pants. 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
5152 I died with my amazing pants on! 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
5153 I'm sorry, but we're into the fall season now. 1.1444 0.03726 90 77 13 0
5154 For lion's sake Where'd you get those pants? 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
5155 They can only be seen by people from the lower classes. 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
5156 Let me guess – you were on the verge of shooting your age and you’re a big John Daly fan? 1.1444 0.03726 90 77 13 0
5157 I could do both - Work From Heaven and be in the cloud. 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
5158 And if I could sit at the fun table, that would be super. 1.1443 0.03875 97 84 12 1
5159 Even though the thrill is what brought me here, thanks for the hole-in-one on number twelve. 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
5160 What do you mean 'golfer not allowed?' 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
5161 I don’t think I’m a little old to be at a Phish concert, but I might be a little too old to do this many whip-its. 1.1429 0.05135 77 69 5 3
5162 Don't you have room for Joseph Flopsky and his Amazing Technicolor Dream PANTS! 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
5163 Can you see the Statue of Liberty from there? 1.1429 0.03689 91 78 13 0
5164 You can stay. The pants have got to go. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5165 I’m not sure how it stacks up in the grand scheme of things, but I do realize that the pants were not my best decision. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
5166 Please, St. Peter, can I just finish up the 18th hole? 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
5167 Yes, I am God, and we cannot let you into heaven with those pants. We have dress code, you know. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
5168 Hey, it's pajama bottoms, you're the one that took me when I was asleep, so don't give me the heat ! 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
5169 I'm sorry sir, but the dress code was very clear on the invitation: white speedos and wings. 1.1429 0.05135 77 69 5 3
5170 So, does this have anything to do with revising my handicap? 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
5171 I told you, Joe, the stained glass motif doesn’t cut it with me. They’re still your golf pants. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
5172 For feck's sake. That would have been an eagle. 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
5173 Garish not allowed up here. It's either black or white 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
5174 What’s the point of a dress code? 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
5175 You may enter, my son, but those pants will have to face their own judgement alone in purgatory. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
5176 And you thought that baby was Hitler? 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
5177 oh gimme a break…you seem to be wearing a podium 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
5178 Not a tartan? 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5179 If I were smart enugh, I would ask you an eternal question 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
5180 I'm sorry, but we do have a dress code here. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
5181 I sliced my drive big time. Have you seen it? 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
5182 My wife bought the pants, and I ask your forgiveness. 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
5183 I know you weren't expecting me..they said my pants were too gaudy even for down there. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
5184 Sorry. If there was an eleventh commandment 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
5185 Sorry, I know they're a bit gaudy, but I was on the golf course when I was struck by lightning. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
5186 I guess I am not making the cut again, right? That’s fair enough. 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
5187 Yahweh schmaweh! My pants put more dazzle in the moment than you have for the past two thousand years! 1.1415 0.03894 106 93 11 2
5188 Well then, how bout I go get the matching jacket? 1.1415 0.03894 106 93 11 2
5189 They said it's full. Soooo... 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
5190 I think they match Joseph's coat of many colors 1.1414 0.04064 99 87 10 2
5191 No way you getting in with those!! 1.1414 0.03520 99 85 14 0
5192 Where ever I am, I didn’t expect to be here or I would’ve dressed more appropriately 1.1413 0.04528 92 82 7 3
5193 I swear they WERE popular back in the sixties. 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
5194 But I thought casual Ascension Day was a thing. 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
5195 Can you double check that list? Checkered pants … Not past! 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
5196 Sooo...I'm guessing you were a golfer in the 60s....um..perhaps 70s? 1.1413 0.04528 92 82 7 3
5197 My new iphone doesn't have a sim tray, do you fix it? 1.1413 0.03652 92 79 13 0
5198 Anyone with pants like that belongs in the line downstairs! 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
5199 I wanna jam it wid you 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
5200 Will I be acceptable with these pants? 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
5201 Upon these pants, I will build my disco. 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
5202 Sinbad, you don't have to pretend to be a middle aged white man to get into heaven. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
5203 Okay. I'm ready. Give me the info on the store where you bought those cool pants. Got an angel up here that'd love 'em. 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
5204 Is it a sin to express myself a bit? 1.1412 0.03979 85 76 7 2
5205 Abraham Lincoln is that you? or am I dreaming" 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
5206 True,these pants are a sin,but I was doing laundry and they were all I had that was clean. 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
5207 Style over substance worked down below. 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
5208 BOXERS OR BRIEFS? 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
5209 Sorry, no admittance. You obviously did not read the brochure—solid coloured pants only!” Jeff Manly Toronto,Ont 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
5210 You check all the boxes 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
5211 We’ve been waiting for you Mr. Daly. Thought you’d be here sooner. 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
5212 What do you mean about not wearing white after Labor Day? 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
5213 So - who put you in charge!? 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
5214 Is your name spelled with an "e" or an "i"? 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
5215 You're on the list, but I'm afraid God is quite particular about the dress code. 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
5216 Are you sure? Me, personally, I’d choose purgatory. They’ll let you keep your slacks of many colors. 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
5217 Please tell me, why can't I work from home anymore sir? 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
5218 Don't you belong on the top of the steps of some library or museum or something? Robert A. Jablon/rcjablon@aol.com/202-333-5332 1.1410 0.05072 78 70 5 3
5219 What do you mean they didn’t cover dress code on sundays? 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
5220 I thought heaven would look like a Hooter's" -John Dal 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5221 Joseph’s matching pants have arrived 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5222 So I still can't wear pajama pants on Zoom calls? 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5223 Try looking under "Hot Pants." 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5224 People have always had a problem figuring me out, and now you? 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5225 Ah, I see you made a purchase ahead of time from My webshop! 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5226 Yes, go to hell print. Not go to hell cut. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5227 Did pre-check not tell you that appropriate attire was a togo? 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
5228 Well, thanks! I stitched them myself. But you already knew that. 1.1398 0.03615 93 80 13 0
5229 Where’s the golf course? 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
5230 why did you make me colorblind? 1.1395 0.04726 86 77 6 3
5231 To hell with those pants, and, welcome! 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
5232 I didn't have enough time to get out of my pajamas. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
5233 I know you say my name is on the list, but isn't everyone wearing white? 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
5234 : Golf scores are not heavily waited for entrance here. Hoped you would have picked that up along the way. 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
5235 And I stole these pants from John Daly 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
5236 They were the only pants left in my closet without an elastic waistband. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
5237 Man, I wasn't aware God is a Leo... 1.1392 0.05010 79 71 5 3
5238 Checkered pants for a checkered past…any check points for honesty that get me in? 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
5239 I got rid of the red ball cap,now what? 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
5240 So the guy tells me they only have the 32s, and I lie and tell him that's my size. I figure I have to give it an honest go in the fitting room, and that's the last thing I remember. I didn't seriously fucking die that way, did I? Am I stuck like tbis 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
5241 Heaven needs a bit color! 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
5242 Are these pants really a sin against fashion? 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
5243 You have to send me back God! I was just about to be crowned Mr. Pants USA!" 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
5244 I won't be subjected to snickering in Heaven, right? 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
5245 Don't you think Harry and his technicolor dreampants are dreamy? 1.1383 0.03580 94 81 13 0
5246 I thought I could use some exotic booze, in Old Bombay" 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
5247 Well, I heard that plaid was in up here. 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
5248 we need you onsite at least two days a week. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
5249 So, what do you think? Is this outfit a sin? 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
5250 Isn't it really just a matter of an overdue book? 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
5251 I consider myself to be a great designer as well. 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
5252 I wasn’t that near to the Capitol on January 6th. 1.1376 0.03793 109 96 11 2
5253 So,I had to get all the way to Heaven to find out that God’s pronouns are they/them! 1.1376 0.03562 109 95 13 1
5254 Last thing I remember is thinking that I should have hired a caddy. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
5255 I'm Stewart and these are the horrific technicolor nightmare pants God bestowed upon me. 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
5256 I can spell it for you, D-O-O-F-U-S. 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
5257 I believe the tee time was under Peters. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
5258 I thought if I'm gonna go permanently to sleep I may as well be buried in my pyjamas. I take it you don't like the bottoms? 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
5259 The name’s Bozo, Mister Bozo. Please excuse my attire, I was half-dressed when I was abruptly swept up here. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
5260 Buh-bye 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
5261 I’m not here to be judged about my fashion choices. 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
5262 I was swept up in a tornado, passed through a double rainbow, and voila, my khakis turned madras. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
5263 No, we don’t seem to have a reservation for Sherman and his Amazing Color Dream pants” 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
5264 I bet my buddies I'd find an exception to the adage, 'you can't take it with you.' 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
5265 So, you tell me - were these a fashion crime? 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
5266 Looking down on everyone again 1.1375 0.04950 80 72 5 3
5267 Why is that guy on the chimney? 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
5268 Sorry, you can't go to Heaven. That's a crime against fashion. 1.1373 0.03951 102 90 10 2
5269 If I could get down from here, I might be able to learn the meaning of life. 1.1373 0.03424 102 88 14 0
5270 God told me my work on Earth was promoting patchwork pants! 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5271 In all my years on earth, wearing these pants in public was more greatest crime. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5272 Safari? Now what might that be? 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5273 I'd worry more about your mom. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5274 They're gonna paint those pants white! 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5275 oh c’mon, you were sooo close… 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5276 I'd like to be on the rainbow crew 1.1368 0.04639 95 86 5 4
5277 Until you see a man’s choice in pants, do you really know him? 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
5278 Those angels over there that are laughing hysterically told me I could score big points with stained glass pants. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
5279 I'd have inscribed you in the Book of Life if it wasn't for those pants. 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
5280 Accidental? What, they didn't see me? No. I think foursome wanted me dead. 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
5281 I know I died by trying to get a gator to eat my boss at the golf course—and in karmic fashion, getting eaten myself—spent my life selling insurance to people who couldn't afford it, cheated on my wife, disowned my children because they didn't even have the decency to call on Christmas, but do you think we can make a deal or something? 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
5282 Ugh, not another Randelson family member. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
5283 OK, the coat got Joseph in, but Bob, pants? 1.1359 0.03914 103 91 10 2
5284 Only my pants are sinful. 1.1359 0.03914 103 91 10 2
5285 I know I've had a checkered life. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
5286 They told me that color was in the budget for the next caption contest. I was very VERY wrong. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
5287 I’m sorry, I didn’t know Heaven was monochrome. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
5288 I beg to differ sir. There’s nothing in the book about so called ‘ostentatious sportswear’” 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
5289 You're getting temporary admittance--the Seraphim want to play Rubik's Cube with your pants. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
5290 I was said that God is in the details". 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
5291 Could I have ten more minutes to finish getting dressed? 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
5292 God may forgive you for your haircut, but he won't forgive those pants. 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
5293 Once you let me in, I’ll take them off. There’ll be nothing left to offend people. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
5294 We don't follow Earth Calendar, Fashion Week isn't until December 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
5295 So, this is how I die. 1.1356 0.03386 118 103 14 1
5296 My Nana made these pants and told me that, if I ever tried to remove them, there would be dire results, and here I am. 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
5297 You, bah humbug. 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
5298 You're allowed 1 question, hook me up with your pants, you get 3! 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
5299 No, this is not the 9th hole, and no, you can't play through. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
5300 How did I die? The National Union of Printing and Paper Workers put a hit out on me. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
5301 Guess I wasn't terribly religious, but the guys at the club DID call me "Bob and the amazing, Technicolor golf pants." 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
5302 I ask for forgiveness. I have a very checkered pant. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
5303 Those pants will never do. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
5304 What do you mean “Plaid isn’t in this year?” 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
5305 So I told Martha I wouldn't be caught dead in these pants. She said they look great and here I am. 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
5306 Of course you'll be seated sir, but our dress code requires khakis. I'm afraid we only have one size- XXX. 1.1348 0.04573 89 80 6 3
5307 Isn’t it “wear your colored pants to school” day 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
5308 Pearly Gates has quite the greens fee, sir. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5309 Yeah, maybe not the best choice, but my departure was a little hasty. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5310 I'll let you in if you can get me one of those pants. We really need some color around here. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
5311 Lucky for you, admission doesn't depend on your fashion sense. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
5312 Hello, Hello is the mic on? 1.1341 0.04835 82 74 5 3
5313 My coat of many colors is still at my dry cleaner's." 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
5314 Hole in one! 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
5315 Just tried to add a bit of sunshine to my Christmas outfit. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
5316 Don't pretend you're not aware fashion crime disqualifies you. 1.1340 0.03773 97 85 11 1
5317 So what happened to the library? 1.1333 0.04777 75 67 6 2
5318 I hope you are using the best words in the best order 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
5319 Tell me, are those pants any clue to James Webb? 1.1333 0.04777 75 67 6 2
5320 Please help me find a tie to match! 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
5321 Can I choose a warmer place? I am not properly dressed. 1.1333 0.03603 90 78 12 0
5322 Be honest, Satan sent you. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
5323 In a way, St. Peter, we're both like a traffic light—you with directing traffic into heaven and me with these fabulous pants. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
5324 I accept my golf club slung me out for wearing these pants , but this extra punishment seems a bit excessive 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
5325 Maybe a round of golf after the stroke wasn't such a good idea, but I didn't know you had a dress code. 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
5326 Welcome to the Pearly Gates, do you have a reservation? And by the way, we have a strict dress code….. 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
5327 My last role was on 'Sex and the City', where can I go from here ? 1.1327 0.03444 98 85 13 0
5328 I know I've been accepted into heaven, but I honestly prefer the other place - so this dress code violation is on purpose. 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
5329 I believe I declared patchwork pants to be so last century. 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
5330 Back home they called me, Deacon Fancy Pants. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
5331 WHEN I DIE I MAY NOT GO TO HEAVEN I DON'T KNOW IF THEY LET GUYS WITH COOL PANTS IN 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
5332 When's your next seating? 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
5333 We don’t have a category yet for non-women in the weirdest looking pants. So try again next year. 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
5334 So…there’s no golf course? 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
5335 My dry cleaning got mixed up with Joseph’s again. 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
5336 - Sorry... no pants allowed beyond these gates 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
5337 You're the last man standing; now I can retire from this thankless job. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
5338 I meant the show! 1.1324 0.05505 68 62 3 3
5339 Sorry. No English majors allowed. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5340 If I told the truth about your eating habits to my students,half would pull you down,the other half would have you eat the librarian 1.1321 0.03304 106 92 14 0
5341 You got a Bob Jones or Bill Smith on there? I went by both. 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
5342 There's no special consideration for individual attire. 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
5343 But,they liked them in Monte Carlo! 1.1319 0.03566 91 79 12 0
5344 There is global warming! I came here to cool off 1.1319 0.03566 91 79 12 0
5345 Your attire may have been okay in Florida retirement communities, but up here there are no brownie points for color blindness 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
5346 Never seen a pair of CoronaFashion pants before? Gosh, I don't get them boomers... 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
5347 Okay, I cheated on my golf score once - maybe twice - okay, a lot; but who knew that was such a big deal up here? 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
5348 No, this is Heaven! And quit frankly I’m as surprised as you are.” 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
5349 I was told that enthusiasm for Wordle is a sure-fire way in. 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
5350 Don't worry, while wearing pajama bottoms all the time should a sin, it isn't. 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
5351 My head is above the clouds. 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
5352 Is this taking Long live the King too far? 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
5353 Sorry I didn't have time to dress nicely. Death was quite sudden. 1.1304 0.04152 92 82 8 2
5354 Funny Pants Fridays? No? 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
5355 Guilty. It was the one about "coveting." 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
5356 Is it ok if I come back next year? 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
5357 Levitical laws and Paul's Letter to the Romans? I don't believe I've read either one.... 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
5358 Are there any upgrades available? 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5359 Our community theatre is doing Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Trousers. It's not going well. 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
5360 Sorry, cartoons about Heaven are done solely in black and white. The good news is that where you're going has much better golf courses. 1.1299 0.05012 77 70 4 3
5361 Do you see the light? Let's go Brandon! 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
5362 Boss is boss whether it's your job's boss or your life's boss? 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
5363 NOW THAT YOU HAVE ARRIVED HERE, WE WILL ASSIST YOU IN SELECTING HEAVENLY ATIRE! 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
5364 I wanted to ensure my flag colors were on the right side of history….um I mean the correct side. 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
5365 I could graffiti my pants pattern on your pedestal. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
5366 its glass, not pants you know 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
5367 I'd think a round of golf with Jesus, John Lennon and J. Edgar Hoover would be interesting. 1.1294 0.04671 85 77 5 3
5368 I’m sorry, but those pants are a sin against humanity 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
5369 Validate your parking? 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
5370 I'll let you in, but you must remove those pants." "Why?" "Because they are a sin against God. 1.1294 0.03035 85 75 10 0
5371 Are you trying to blind me from your sins? 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
5372 Frankly, it was your claim of ‘golf score fraud’ that cut your game short and brought you here today, Mr. Trump! 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
5373 Don't even think of dressing me in those pants! 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
5374 But I already gave at church! 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
5375 Yes, you spell that as follows W.A.L.M.A.R.T 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
5376 Barry, you know exactly why you’re here today. 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
5377 Let me get this straight, my checkered past outshines my good deeds? 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
5378 I confess. I dress like this for church. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5379 You can come in, but the pants need to go downstairs. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5380 Can i get good cell service here? 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
5381 I do believe a that led a very colorful life so I wanted to enter heaven in my best colorful trousers 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5382 Fashion victim? 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
5383 I had time to change. 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
5384 We had a guy come through with an amazing technicolor dreamcoat just the same. 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
5385 Why are you coming here with Elmer’s pyjama? 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5386 Your co-conspiritors just left the golf course. Would you prefer to join them below? 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
5387 Dad always wears these pants to parties. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5388 Thanks. Probably a DXL Big & Tall store could help you out." 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5389 Is it true that everybody here wears white after Labor Day? 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
5390 Infringement 2208: Wearing bleached clothes-even if the pattern is cool. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5391 I'd like a 10:15 tee time. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5392 Last name is Stoplights, ending in s. If it were one, I wouldn't be standing before you. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5393 You clearly didn’t complete the 6th Holy Sacrament. 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
5394 I guess you already know I’m not colorblind, so why indeed? 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
5395 Did you give at the office ? 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
5396 First of all I do NOT see the Pearly Gates and secondly, wow have they screwed up on the IMAGE of you they depict down there! Are you SURE I'm in the right place? 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
5397 Lose the pants and you then you can come in since you were always kind to animals! 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
5398 You should have thought of that when you died in them. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
5399 I think we all know I’m the one wearing the pants around here. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
5400 Ok, let’s admit The New Yorker BS Cartoons. Now’s the time. Take COURAGE!!! Ahh, life. 1.1277 0.03622 94 85 7 2
5401 Thanks for holding the fort. 1.1277 0.03460 94 82 12 0
5402 Mother hen with your quill pen ,don't judge my clothes from way back when 1.1277 0.03460 94 82 12 0
5403 Saint Peter? I was expecting Peter Griffin, my personal saint. May I have a do-over? 1.1277 0.03460 94 82 12 0
5404 I know it’s an exclusive club up here but I really need to play the links in the other place down there on weekends with my friends. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
5405 Jac Yarrow out-bid me for the coat. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
5406 Ok, so I’ve had a colorful checkered life but can’t you blame a guy who likes to have fun but then again… maybe you don’t see color up here…? Jody Kinsey Toronto, ONT 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
5407 I made a reservation for a party of... fun! 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
5408 I lost a hacky sack contest. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
5409 If there is a dress code, then Heaven is gonna look like Wal-mart. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
5410 Where the hell do you think you are going? 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
5411 I'm going topless 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
5412 If you'll let me in, I'll lose these stupid trousers. Promise. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
5413 My mother warned me not to wear these pajamas, when seeking entry into heaven. Why didn’t I listen? 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
5414 Only if you change those pants!! 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
5415 In the event of lightning, the rules say to abandon your play, not your pants. 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
5416 I don't think you get to be so picky. It's not like you have a long line here of people just begging to get in. 1.1264 0.03584 87 76 11 0
5417 But they where in the Brooks Brothers Catalog. 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
5418 I thought using the Lord's name in vain was forgivable after hitting my third shot out of bounds on the 18th." 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
5419 I see that you ate your main course with the salad fork. I’m sorry, but you’re in the wrong place. 1.1263 0.04296 95 86 6 3
5420 That’s some handicap alright! 1.1263 0.03739 95 84 10 1
5421 Why? HE wants to know Why? Because HE told me to wear them. 1.1263 0.03739 95 84 10 1
5422 You wouldn't be caught dead wearing those pants in Heaven! 1.1262 0.04065 103 93 7 3
5423 Please judge me by my merit on earth, not my pants ... 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
5424 You lived a good life, but you still need to come up with a caption for entry. 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
5425 It's just a figure of speech. They actually go anywhere. 1.1250 0.03546 88 77 11 0
5426 You're pushing it with those pants, but I'll look past them. 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
5427 No I haven’t seen your ball…and yes you do hit it a ton…but it’s not your time yet. I’ll talk to Payne and get you on the waiting list to work on that launch angle. But for now get the hell out of here and go have some fun. 1.1250 0.04831 80 73 4 3
5428 I did steal the coat and made my pants of many colours that I have wore so proudly 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
5429 And I thought they were “Go to Hell pants.” 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
5430 My dad gave them to me. Kinda like Joseph's dad. 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
5431 Satan sent me. 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
5432 Because when the house fell, I was partly under it, and the switch to TechniColor missed my upper half. Is this a problem? 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
5433 Can I still get in? The maid accidentally bleached my tie. 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
5434 You've lived a saintly and pious life ... but those pants! 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5435 As you know, I grew up in the '50s. 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
5436 I’m hoping, actually praying it’s not mortal 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
5437 My only sin was not listening to my heart 1.1250 0.03987 96 86 8 2
5438 Do you believe in modesty? 1.1237 0.03948 97 87 8 2
5439 Hey son, I finally found the milk. 1.1237 0.04211 97 88 6 3
5440 Nowhere on your dias is there a written dress code. 1.1236 0.03508 89 78 11 0
5441 . . . and, to think, Moses called ME loud! 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
5442 I don't usually wear these in public. 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
5443 I didn’t get a chance to change before THIS happened. Does that count against me? 1.1236 0.03508 89 78 11 0
5444 A dress code? I led a pure life and you won't let me in because of a goddam dress code! 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
5445 Your fashion sense is the least of your worries... 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
5446 Of course I'll need a gas-powered cart with a windshield to take me through. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
5447 I was kinda hopin' you'd notice me for your 'Book of Life' again. 1.1235 0.04773 81 74 4 3
5448 This is all I have, the clubs are cursed 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
5449 My wife hates jokes about her quilting. And I hate tight pants. Have you seen her? 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
5450 I know I have flaws... 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
5451 Er...so that's Patches...rom Ol' Shanty Town? 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
5452 Don’t worry—I’m lifting the dress code for all Zoomers. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
5453 In my defense, i didnt know the anti theft tags just kill you nowadays. ...These pants were totally worth it 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5454 For goodness sake. And my nephew… on Halloween…? Horse mask forever? 1.1231 0.04107 65 59 5 1
5455 I can’t think of a caption. That is why I’m wearing these pants. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
5456 For GOD’S sake? Damn autocorrect! 1.1224 0.03910 98 88 8 2
5457 I was playing golf, I remember thunder ...where are the pearly gates? 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
5458 Do you have a public restroom I can use? 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
5459 Oh great hairy head, please forgive me for wearing pajamas in your presence, my suit is in the dry cleaners. 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
5460 My wife had just mentioned how tomato-patch I looked in these pants, and the next thing I knew... 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
5461 I was using these to devise a new three-color map theorem. Then I died. 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
5462 You didn't know that a bald man wearing multicolored pants was a sin? 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
5463 Who did you have to run down to get those pants? 1.1220 0.04717 82 75 4 3
5464 It was a mistake - you need to go back. 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
5465 I bring the party wherever I go. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5466 My wife would never let me wear these pants. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
5467 If this is the uniform, I'd rather go to hell. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
5468 Just let me pick up my golf clubs, and I will be fine! 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5469 I was told to try here. Bob Marley was right. JAH doesn’t give the power to a baldhead. 1.1212 0.03065 66 59 7 0
5470 What dress code? I prefer a pair of mutli-colored Jammy Jeans to a white robe! 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5471 You'll find me under F, for Flamboyant. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5472 I heard this is where the squares go. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5473 ''Lesson learned: pooping in public is also inappropriate in eternal life...'' 1.1209 0.03436 91 80 11 0
5474 If I'd known how You were going to look,I would have dressed less flamboyantly. 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
5475 I swear, I found the Technicolor(c) Dreamcoat at a thrift store. 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
5476 Well, yes, my last memory is of an errant golf ball headed right towards my temple 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
5477 But we let animals into people heaven for free… 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
5478 I'm Howard with the amazing technicolor dream pants. Seen Joe? 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
5479 Yes Joseph, it is technicolor, but you're no longer even on Broadway! 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
5480 It’s only my pants that aren’t white. Extol my virtues while I dismantle these trousers. You’ve exalted my ancestors for much less and you know my sins are more reprovable if I don’t come in sll white. 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
5481 Yeah, my wife also said wearing these pants was a sin. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
5482 A very nice guy made a bet with me that you would have a commandment against these trousers. Do you? 1.1200 0.04634 75 68 5 2
5483 Am I back in Narnia? 1.1200 0.04634 75 68 5 2
5484 Who are you calling a hippie, you Jerry Garcia looking b@stard?! 1.1196 0.03736 92 82 9 1
5485 Welcome, Jerry Garcia been waiting for your arrival. 1.1190 0.04609 84 77 4 3
5486 I needed to, well, take the focus off a few mistakes I made along the way. 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
5487 We look like folks with half-finished tattoos who ran out of cash to fill in colors... 1.1190 0.04286 84 76 6 2
5488 You must be Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Petticoat. 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
5489 Would you kindly cancel that last request? My memory of the crash has returned and I believe I will make do with the pants you've provided. 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
5490 I thought wearing white after Labor Day isn't a thing anymore? 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
5491 Helluva color choice, even for golf pants 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
5492 but at the golf course, why now, I was finally winning 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
5493 I knew I should’ve put on trousers before leaving the house 1.1184 0.04576 76 69 5 2
5494 Like the afterlife, my outfit’s only pleasant in the upper half. 1.1183 0.03367 93 82 11 0
5495 You may have gotten away with it for Friday Casual, but up here, there are some things that even Jesus can’t forgive. 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
5496 Couldn't I just take my lucky golf pants with me? 1.1183 0.03698 93 83 9 1
5497 I hope my pants fit in because I did not know the dress code. Bill Hill, Sherman Oaks, CA 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
5498 Oh, you're that Duffy. Your pants precede you. 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
5499 Where will I be on clear days? 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
5500 Who are you to judge? Only one of us was crucified upside down. 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
5501 ......And for those of you on the statuary tour, don't be confused. We're still unpacking him. 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
5502 Those pants are a crime, go back down the staircase 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
5503 They were a gift for my role in globalization. 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
5504 they got smothered in paint...................... 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
5505 Don't judge me. They were a gift from my wife. 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
5506 i get an A+ for the trimester if i win, worth a shot 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
5507 Objection your honor! Overruled. 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
5508 Mr. Saltz, I'm still deciding if the way you consume coffee is a sin. 1.1176 0.04927 68 62 4 2
5509 My wife wanted me to stand out on the first day of Angel school. 🤷‍♂️ 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
5510 Please, don't be offended by my colorful pants. 1.1170 0.03333 94 83 11 0
5511 Oh, I’ve tried to change, but my insecurities typically bleed out into an effusive display of color. I have other sins that are much worse. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
5512 They whitewashed me! 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
5513 Didn't the invite say smart-casual? 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
5514 I bet you’re giving these pants a little judge-a-roony-doony now aren’t ya?! 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
5515 You see, I could not leave these pajamas behind. They are my favorite and I Just bought them. 1.1167 0.05363 60 55 3 2
5516 There comes a time to pack it in ... even for SpongeBob SquarePants. 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
5517 A brave man looking the sitting the stone Lion !!! "M.K.Subramanian." 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
5518 Thought the place could use a little color. 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
5519 Funny you should ask. It would have to be my short game. 1.1163 0.04191 86 78 6 2
5520 Let's see what are my options, 1. I keep him out. 2. I keep him out. 3. I keep him out. 4. I.... 1.1163 0.04191 86 78 6 2
5521 I never wore the matching top except when I golfed. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
5522 What is with the pants?” “I thought they made me look jazzy. . . 1.1159 0.04858 69 63 4 2
5523 I got stuck in traffic. 1.1158 0.03624 95 85 9 1
5524 There’s a place for everyone, but I just don’t know how well you’d fit in. 1.1158 0.03921 95 86 7 2
5525 I figured I wouldn't want to stay for all of eternity if I'm going to be judged for my patchwork pants. 1.1158 0.03300 95 84 11 0
5526 What was that you say…Rubik? 1.1158 0.03624 95 85 9 1
5527 They were acceptable at my golf club 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
5528 Son, your over-the-top 'No White After Labor Day' annoys me. DENIED! 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
5529 I’ve brought my own colours for the Heaven 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
5530 Is it a sin to be unique? 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
5531 These clouds are made for walking, and I’ll walk all over you 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
5532 I’m making my decision not on the pants, but because you said WAY too often ‘and they go with everything!’ 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
5533 Ever hear about Zeus and a 1-iron? 1.1146 0.03268 96 85 11 0
5534 I got caught half dressed. 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5535 Well I don’t have your head of hair, and I am not wearing what you might expect a Heavenly pair of pants might look like, but I think I would be a heavenly addition! 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5536 I can explain … these were a birthday gift. 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5537 Yeah, well I didn’t know there was a matching coat. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5538 God I got a bit too wild 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
5539 So your job is to judge me? I have a lot of material for you... 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
5540 Don't you think it's kind of fucked up that you let us get all the way up here and still have the chance of being sent to Hell? Like, why not just send us straight there? Anyways, what's the verdict? 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
5541 All that work for pants and I was supposed to get a coat? 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
5542 The last thing I did was play golf…in a pair of overpriced velcro pants…I was ripped off.” R.Weingast New York, N.Y. 1.1136 0.04099 88 80 6 2
5543 So, is it true? Not even God can hit a 1-iron? 1.1136 0.03403 88 78 10 0
5544 Putting the whole heaven/hell thing aside for a moment, do you also schedule tee times? 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
5545 ISN"T WHO I EXPECTED TO SEE 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
5546 I was thought that this was a "come as you are" type of thing. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
5547 Confessing my sins to the wizard of OZ 1.1125 0.03325 80 73 6 1
5548 I didn't know how Heaven would react, but I figured one look and the Devil wouldn't want me Hell. 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
5549 Honestly, I don't expect forgiveness and grace for my choice of trousers. 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
5550 I worked on 'In Living Color' in the nineties. 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
5551 Do not DARE deny me where you got those fun comfy-looking pants. 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
5552 I died while I was getting dressed... 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
5553 Once upon a time I'd have confessed to a checkered past, but lately... 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
5554 Can I see the Queen? 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
5555 Well, we can take your top half, the bottom part you'll have to send somewhere else. 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
5556 Hey, Peter. Missed you at Twister night. 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
5557 I think you are taking inclusivity literally. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
5558 - This is for all eternity…Can I return back only to change my trousers? 1.1111 0.04662 72 66 4 2
5559 First, forgive me. I could not find the "Coat of Many Colors". 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
5560 The 11thCommandment: Thou shall follow the dress code! 1.1111 0.02711 90 81 9 0
5561 with those pants i don't think you belong here 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
5562 Oh sorry, wasn’t expecting to see you here. 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
5563 Purgatory has mandatory fashion guidelines, you know. 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
5564 Are you trying to impress me? 1.1099 0.03969 91 83 6 2
5565 MY FIRST WISH IS TO BE ABLE TO PREDICT NFL GAME SCORES A WEEK IN ADVANCE. 1.1099 0.03297 91 81 10 0
5566 Sorry for chuckling, the Grim Reaper, he kills me 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
5567 Alan and the Technicolor pants doesn't quite have the same ring to it. 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5568 Mr. Buttafuco, I presume. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5569 I see I misunderstood what "St Peter's International" was. 1.1087 0.03263 92 82 10 0
5570 I heard the greens are really fast here. 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
5571 Sorry, anyone with the name Moe Zayik has been blocked. 1.1087 0.03263 92 82 10 0
5572 Please tell me there isn't a dress code in heaven. 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
5573 We know He loves a flair for the dramatic. 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
5574 Actually, I'm just passing through. I could never afford the sky-high rents around here. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
5575 tuebrest of my clothes were burned in the California wildfires... 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
5576 I don’t want to be too judgmental, but you haven’t solved the pants. 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
5577 If life is selfexplaining... and you made me... where I was wrong? And now out of my way. 🙌 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
5578 I wish I had enough time to get to a point where I would no longer have a self to express through the pants I put on. 1.1075 0.03230 93 83 10 0
5579 Welcome to heaven Joseph. We hope you enjoy your stay. Let me just find your reservation. Here we go … ah that’s not it 1.1075 0.03887 93 85 6 2
5580 Who dressed you? Satan! 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
5581 I was only clowning around when I said You were an anachronism. 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
5582 I love all colors, I hope I can feel the love in heaven! . 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
5583 I always putted everything out… 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
5584 alright, player, maybe i can let you in— if you got any baddies with you? no? for real? because i’ll be honest with you, we for real have zero girls in here. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
5585 Good Boy! 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
5586 I’m sorry, but Madras was a gag invented up here. No one thought it would stick. 1.1061 0.02756 66 60 6 0
5587 The John Daly pants are a no go. 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
5588 I know there were a few questionable incidents in the 90s, but I thought a festive pant might do the trick. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
5589 Hi,I have a reservation for one. I wasn’t sure of the dress code so I wore every color I could find. 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
5590 So you're about to pass eternal judgment on me and the only thing in full color here is the pajama bottoms I happened to be wearing when I died? 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
5591 Forgot your password? What a shame. You will listen to Trump speeches for eternity. 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
5592 My soul pants for thee. 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
5593 Casual Friday started out like every other Casual Friday, except this day I was directed to HR. 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
5594 It's true what they say! In heaven, you poop your pants in color! 1.1053 0.04424 76 70 4 2
5595 Bob, from Accounting, and his amazing technicolor yoga pants. 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
5596 What happened to the coat? 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
5597 Has the queen passed? 1.1053 0.03501 95 86 8 1
5598 It was a somber St. Peter that admonished him for his mockery of the flamboyant. 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
5599 You know, the "birds of the field" thing. 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
5600 They f*ck you up your mum and dad ... 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
5601 When I thanked God for those wins on the curling ice, I never expected to get the opportunity to do so in person! 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
5602 No one wears Pyjamas here.... 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
5603 So let me get this straight. You're 'Reginald, with the Amazing Technicolor Dream Pants'? 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
5604 Once again envy rears its ugly head in Heaven. 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
5605 Madras the alter 1.1047 0.04061 86 79 5 2
5606 You could have emailed me, you know! 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5607 Am I going to be late for my tee time? 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5608 OK, but I was hoping to seeing the matching parachute. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
5609 Yeah, and my boxers are even tighter and less comfortable… crap, uh, sorry, listen, do you guys have a lost and found I could just pull some sweats out of or, even better, is it cool going “au natural” for eternity? 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5610 Well, do you have a jacket that goes with these pants that I could borrow? 1.1034 0.03284 87 78 9 0
5611 Unfashionable? I could say the same about you? 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
5612 My mother does really have very good taste. 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
5613 Had I known I would be meeting you tonight I would have dressed nicer 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
5614 I thought heaven was colourful, reason I wore coloured pants 1.1026 0.04314 78 72 4 2
5615 Hello. Apologies, but the cartoonist was in a rush so your pants are the only thing that have any definition or detail. I know this is underbaked but nice pants. 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
5616 No offense intended, but I prefer belonging where there is a more select membership. 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
5617 The colorful pants suggest that your race has not been up to much since the last time I checked a millennial ago. 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
5618 YOU CAUGHT ME WITHOUT FORMAL ATTIRE! 1.1023 0.03972 88 81 5 2
5619 First we'll get you fitted for your angel robe and dump the pants. 1.1023 0.03249 88 79 9 0
5620 We are accustom to accepting all types and colors up here however those pants are something new! 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
5621 About the pants... I thought if anyone could relate and judge me worthy, it'd be you St Peter ...cuz you know, your pearly gates and all. 1.1023 0.03041 88 81 6 1
5622 I chose business casual for our first meeting. Those golf pros get admitted everywhere.” 1.1020 0.03695 98 90 6 2
5623 Forgive the get-up, Lord. Lightning strike on the 17th hole. 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
5624 I was on holiday in Ibiza, okay? 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
5625 I left my heart on the dance floor. 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
5626 I've never been able to stand out in a crowd. Maybe it will happen here. 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
5627 You're at the wrong cloud - bad fashion is three nimbuses over on the left. 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
5628 Your pants shall pass, not you. 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
5629 I was shooting a good round when you called. Now you want to know where I bought the pants? Is there anyone else here I can talk to? 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
5630 1. "I got struck by lightning on the 18th hole." 2. "They said that heaven was one big country club." 3. "The country club always allowed it." 4. "John Daly's latest line." 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
5631 Joan Rivers looks a lot different in Heaven. 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
5632 Can I interest you in a robe and halo collab? 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
5633 I'm sorry, we don't golf up here. You will be wanting the down escalator. 1.1000 0.03551 90 82 7 1
5634 We try to be ultra accommodating and respectful here sir, but I'm afraid I'm going to need you to change your pants. 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
5635 Well they were lucky for me when playing golf. 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
5636 What do you expect from a guy who was a circus clown all his life? 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
5637 i ll rather go to hell, than having to wear this 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
5638 Welcome to heaven! I’m sure we’ll be able to accommodate you. 1.0989 0.03147 91 82 9 0
5639 That garish fabric might disguise the fact that you’ve shat and pissed yourself but I can still smell you from up here you filthy fuck. 1.0988 0.04159 81 75 4 2
5640 My wife said these were a sin of fashion. Shows what she knows! 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
5641 Not the best time to dress down, Barry. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
5642 You're familiar with Joseph and his coat of many colors, aren't you? Well, I'm a distant cousin. 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
5643 Yes, I had to change the pearly gate’s settings in 2016. Hippies, Dead Heads, and Merry Pranksters get an automatic yes. - Dorri Olds 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
5644 What happened to your building? 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
5645 …And you thought The Hamptons was Heaven…! 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
5646 The speech was wonderful, emotional and very meaningful, but I can't find the cafe 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
5647 so I guess no color TV here either, right? 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
5648 Yeah okay, I was at the juggalos gathering, how’d you guess? 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
5649 Didn't you get the dress code memo? 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
5650 I was at Mardi Gras when you called me to the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter.... 1.0972 0.04493 72 67 3 2
5651 - And you have no style or sense of fashion. —Well, I think that depends on what you’re- - No, no. That wasn’t a question. 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
5652 But I was about to have the game of my life! 1.0968 0.03441 93 85 7 1
5653 Come on now, St. Pete. Where in the Bible does it say that standing out with style is a sin? 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
5654 The dog ate my life.s summary..can I get back to you? 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
5655 "Thought I was in great shape; was going to celebrate and WHAM! 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
5656 You'll never believe what happened on my way to the Dress Like Your Favorite Rubik's Cube party. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
5657 Really? When they said my fashion choices were sacrilegious I thought it was a just figure of speech. 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
5658 Do YOU think a blue striped shirt clashes with these? 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
5659 86 is the number I'am thinking!! 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
5660 I thought these pants would go well with Pearly Gates. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
5661 Same answer: I didn't have time to change. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
5662 Though shall not wear checked pants. 1.0933 0.04318 75 70 3 2
5663 I’ve been a good man. But If wearing these are wrong, I don’t wanna be right! 1.0933 0.04318 75 70 3 2
5664 I was told to do something that would make me stand out in heaven. 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
5665 You can take off the mask; and those pants... 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
5666 why so big?! i thought we both are human! 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
5667 I'm a Sheep! A clown needed clothes and I gave him all my golf pants. 1.0930 0.03558 86 79 6 1
5668 A living hell for you, back to The Simpsons 1.0923 0.04231 65 60 4 1
5669 I knew where I was going, so I decided to wear my best goin'-to-church slacks. 1.0923 0.04765 65 61 2 2
5670 Some people reeeaaaallly didn't like my pants... 1.0923 0.04231 65 60 4 1
5671 You may think it should be a sin, but technically, it’s not. 1.0920 0.03880 87 81 4 2
5672 The lust and envy we could forgive, but your sartorial sins.... 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
5673 I was on the golf course when the call came! 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
5674 How did you get on my writing cloud? I’m calling Cloud Police! 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
5675 I’d like something without the cloud motif. 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
5676 I'm a direct descendent of Joseph and the multicolored coat. 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
5677 ' I know I was rotten, but how about some style points for the trousers ?" " I thought I'd cheer things up a bit. " 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
5678 If we judged you solely by your sense of fashion, you'd be saying hello to the guy with the horns and the pitchfork! 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
5679 You stood on line for those hypebeast Supreme pants for 10 hours, you can wait for the Supreme Being. 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
5680 When I got dressed this morning I had no idea I was going to end up being judged on my choice of trousers 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
5681 Rejected. Sorry, but I couldn't help noticing them on th 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
5682 Sexy and woke accountants are welcome, yes? 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
5683 I require a 10 ft ladder delivered.I need it set up on the side and help getting down. I have cash and am known to tip generously. 1.0889 0.03405 90 83 6 1
5684 So these aren't the Twirly Whirly Gates? 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
5685 Welcome to your first day in the afterlife! We dress a little differently here. First of all, you won't need those glasses... 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
5686 Nice try, but Plad Day was last week. This is Suspenders Day. 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
5687 Wait. You do only live once, don't you? 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
5688 Your sins appear to be a patchwork of fashion faux pas 1.0879 0.03369 91 84 6 1
5689 I thought you could help me. Why do I want a 24/7 "He's really in big trouble this time" channel? 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
5690 What's the exchange rate for fashion sins? 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
5691 Is there a Joseph Banks store here where I could return these pants? 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
5692 And You wore Those Pants?? 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
5693 I didn't realize we'd be alone and I wanted to get your attention. 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
5694 My sins are now exposed, so all can see. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5695 I guess I had too much too fast. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5696 You had it terribly wrong from the beginning,and frankly,the pants don 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5697 that Travis Scott concert was awful fun... at least I can breathe again! 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
5698 Even though you died while playing golf, I'm going to need a psychiatric opinion as to those pants! 1.0854 0.03557 82 76 5 1
5699 The traffic problem you caused! 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
5700 Life is not a bowl of cherries? 1.0854 0.03957 82 77 3 2
5701 Don't judge me for my lack of fashion sense. 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5702 I'm sorry, but the pants don't mean I have a checkered past. 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5703 If you have a checkered past, you’re barred from heaven. I’ll have to consult the policy on checkered pants. 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5704 While yes this is heaven, we do have a strict dress code 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
5705 Yeah, I was on a psilocybin kick. What'd you want? 1.0843 0.03069 83 76 7 0
5706 My pants are multicolored? But…ah, now it makes sense. 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
5707 Little Timmy: Santa, is this a dream? Santa: Yes, now back to sleep Timmy. Little Timmy: But I'm already asleep. 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
5708 Yes, I'll have a soy latte, please 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
5709 Everyone told me that I would to hell instead . . . 1.0824 0.02999 85 78 7 0
5710 The golf god who exercises his prerogative as to what are appropriate golf slacks of his subjects. 1.0814 0.02966 86 79 7 0
5711 The shoes complete the outfit, but you had to have your theatrics. 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
5712 Is Mondrian here? Because these pants say he shouldn't be. 1.0795 0.03321 88 82 5 1
5713 Is this how I get to the library? 1.0792 0.03355 101 95 4 2
5714 So what if Vanity Fair called them ‘sinful?’ 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
5715 You can't be serious! You're keeping me out because my son yelled at the refs too much? 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
5716 My child, thank you. Now this needs more color. 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
5717 I don't wear the pants in this house. 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
5718 So you’re the big boy? Or are you just filling in? John Oesterle Burke, Va 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
5719 I knew I was going straight to Heaven when I got the hole-in-one! 1.0714 0.03709 70 66 3 1
5720 I think going down would be easier 1.0714 0.03705 84 80 2 2
5721 My vivbrant set of colors; your authority. You be the judge. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
5722 Your name wouldn't happen to be Jack, would it? 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
5723 Is this some kind of celestial Denny's, and you're the heavenly hostess?" 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
5724 suddenly you're letting the gays decide what's right and wrong? 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
5725 So ... is it comfortable up there? 1.0676 0.03512 74 70 3 1
5726 And for those atrocious quilted pants, I hereby sentence the subject is to suffer in eternal damnation. 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
5727 I’m hoping the pants make up a bit for the rave back in ‘’82 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
5728 I wonder if he had antelope slaves. 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
5729 Your pants clash with Joseph's coat of many colors. 1.0641 0.03335 78 74 3 1
5730 My faith said wearing these pants would get me into heaven but was equivocal on the virgins. 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
5731 Look I know this isn’t that ‘funny’ and that the guy in the attention-seeking pants (me!) is supposed to be talking (and lo, I am!), but I mean, I can so clearly discern what you’re thinking (even after you TOOK AWAY ALL WIFI ) slash iPadding o 1.0619 0.02459 97 91 6 0
5732 You know that the funeral's over, right? 1.0610 0.03175 82 78 3 1
5733 My plaids are totally, me. 1.0602 0.03137 83 79 3 1
5734 We thought the coat was cute, but you've gone too far with technicolor pants. 1.0588 0.02567 85 80 5 0
5735 Ok so what you’re contesting is that what you said to your wife is that you’d rather be dead than wear those pants? 1.0581 0.02538 86 81 5 0
5736 Which Commandment condemned me for fashion crime? 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
5737 I'd say my only sin is no sartorial elegance... 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
5738 Hi, I’m supposed to be meeting with God. I only have a 30 minute lunch break, think it’ll be long? 1.0506 0.03067 79 76 2 1
5739 Who would have thought it would come down to fabric? 1.0449 0.02209 89 85 4 0
5740 I hope you're ready, because things are about to get a little funky up there. 1.0366 0.02086 82 79 3 0
5741 I see you still owe taxes to the IRS 1.0341 0.01945 88 85 3 0