Contest #819


Cartoon

819

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. "I only knew about the moral code."
  2. "Says the guy who's probably not even wearing pants."
  3. "O.K., I took two risks today."


Name Value
Submission deadline 2022-09-18T19:08:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2022-10-02T19:09:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2022-09-26T19:09:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued October 3, 2022
Number of captions 5742
Number of responses 804325
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 My wife said, "Try them on, it won't kill you. " 1.8676 0.01409 3377 1384 1056 937
1 After Covid, I lost my taste. 1.8584 0.02488 1109 470 326 313
2 So my wife says, “Would it kill you to wear something colorful? 1.8413 0.01433 3145 1304 1036 805
3 I swore I would never be caught dead in these pants, yet here we are. 1.8251 0.01412 3276 1406 1037 833
4 I said checkered pasts! PASTS 1.8080 0.02854 771 330 259 182
5 Sorry, I thought it was going to be a zoom meeting. 1.8009 0.01512 2782 1217 902 663
6 It’s my wife’s idea of a joke. I said I’d wear them over my dead body. 1.7989 0.01458 2998 1317 967 714
7 My wife said she'd kill me if I ever wore these pants again... 1.7966 0.01403 3275 1456 1029 790
8 Ah, Mr. Rubik, we’ve been expecting you. 1.7878 0.01430 3101 1382 995 724
9 I didn't think I'd be caught dead in these pants. 1.7874 0.01633 2347 1037 772 538
10 No, I didn't die of embarrassment. 1.7867 0.02030 1486 647 509 330
11 I remember saying I wouldn’t be caught dead in these pants 1.7801 0.02055 1487 666 482 339
12 Can’t believe I was caught dead in these pants. 1.7793 0.01183 4609 2108 1410 1091
13 But my wife said SHE would die of embarrassment if I wore these. 1.7661 0.01756 2044 939 644 461
14 Is Joseph around? He has my coat. 1.7598 0.02202 1324 622 398 304
15 I could repant. 1.7529 0.01278 3970 1898 1155 917
16 Joseph got the coat and I got the pants. 1.7478 0.01387 3188 1481 1030 677
17 Well, you can come in, but those pants can go to hell. 1.7397 0.01578 2547 1225 760 562
18 I certainly have one regret. 1.7347 0.01185 4260 1989 1412 859
19 I told my wife I wouldn’t be caught dead in them. 1.7294 0.01379 3089 1438 1049 602
20 I was expecting this to be a Zoom Call 1.7281 0.01402 3133 1506 973 654
21 Okay, I took two risks today. 1.7239 0.01379 3187 1527 1013 647
22 I can change. 1.7232 0.01175 4216 1971 1441 804
23 As for the cause of death. . . 'embarrassment,' I assume? 1.7227 0.01481 2719 1292 889 538
24 Funny enough, my wife used to say these pants were proof there was no God." 1.7184 0.01969 1623 803 474 346
25 You could have let me finish the last three holes! 1.7160 0.01570 2377 1129 794 454
26 All I know is the devil wears Prada. 1.7150 0.01403 3182 1579 931 672
27 My wife said it wouldn't kill me to try some color. 1.7141 0.02692 801 382 267 152
28 Well if it isn’t Mr. Fancy Pants. 1.7115 0.01450 2950 1463 875 612
29 Getting kind of a judgy vibe from you, to be honest. 1.7112 0.01618 2230 1066 742 422
30 I’m here to see a guy named Joseph about a coat. 1.7048 0.01383 3056 1477 1004 575
31 I didn’t think fashion sins counted. 1.7017 0.01455 2756 1337 904 515
32 Look at these pants, haven't I suffered enough? 1.7013 0.01478 2618 1256 888 474
33 They match my checkered past. 1.6997 0.01610 2191 1050 749 392
34 Joseph kept the coat and gave me the pants. 1.6985 0.01416 2968 1465 933 570
35 I can't believe I died on laundry day. 1.6971 0.01350 3259 1610 1026 623
36 Dress for the heaven you want, I always say. 1.6908 0.01471 2652 1297 878 477
37 I’m with Joseph. 1.6904 0.01622 2187 1072 720 395
38 It never mattered on Zoom. 1.6871 0.02953 652 319 218 115
39 I only knew about the moral code. 1.6835 0.01505 2651 1348 794 509
40 Wouldn't be caught dead huh? 1.6823 0.01621 2169 1072 714 383
41 Well, yes...I did have a checkered past. 1.6813 0.01668 2024 995 679 350
42 This may be the wrong thing to say right now, but please, don't judge me. 1.6743 0.01685 1974 979 659 336
43 Well.....If you kept us naked this probably wouldn't be an issue. 1.6738 0.01495 2652 1359 799 494
44 The book says nothing about a dress code. 1.6708 0.01857 1543 748 555 240
45 Sorry, I was on the golf course when you called. 1.6701 0.02020 1367 681 456 230
46 I've been dying to wear these. 1.6696 0.01961 1453 725 483 245
47 Don't judge. 1.6563 0.01621 2287 1215 643 429
48 You took me too literally when I said these pants are to die for. 1.6531 0.02181 1182 608 376 198
49 I was told to see someone named Joseph about a matching coat... 1.6517 0.01632 2110 1088 669 353
50 Oops, I wasn't supposed to be caught dead with these on. 1.6459 0.01719 1892 982 598 312
51 Covid. You lose your sense of taste. 1.6445 0.01645 2315 1283 572 460
52 Of embarrassment. 1.6433 0.01759 2066 1160 483 423
53 She said she was going to throw them out. I said, “over my dead body.” 1.6358 0.01750 2114 1209 466 439
54 Yes, I'm wearing these. What are you, my wife? 1.6315 0.01912 1506 794 473 239
55 Did the putt go in? 1.6207 0.02030 1326 709 411 206
56 Yes, you can actually die of embarrassment. 1.6196 0.01937 1585 887 414 284
57 My wife bought them for me. She isn't here, is she? 1.6179 0.02116 1243 674 370 199
58 All I remember is saying I’d rather die than be seen in these 1.6177 0.02031 1546 901 335 310
59 Those are some righteous pants. Come on in . 1.6176 0.03965 353 191 106 56
60 So she says to me -“Would it kill you to wear the pants I bought for you?” 1.6122 0.02053 1537 911 311 315
61 PASTS. We accept checkered PASTS. 1.6020 0.02308 1201 718 243 240
62 You’re thinking of my brother. I’m Morty and the pants of many colors 1.5929 0.02531 899 516 233 150
63 Yes, I led a checkered life. 1.5919 0.02399 887 481 287 119
64 If it's the white shirt, I can change. 1.5892 0.02416 874 476 281 117
65 This pair of pants was to die for. 1.5877 0.02525 878 501 238 139
66 The very last thing I heard my wife say was “There’s no way on earth that you’re going to wear those pants out…” 1.5869 0.02425 898 499 271 128
67 Tell him RUBIK is here 1.5868 0.02465 910 517 252 141
68 Why, yes, I did go to Yale. 1.5851 0.02612 793 447 228 118
69 If Joseph could wear the coat, why can't I wear the pants? 1.5838 0.02570 829 471 232 126
70 We meet again, Mr Fancypants. 1.5838 0.02811 704 403 191 110
71 On Amazon, actually." 1.5833 0.02588 768 424 240 104
72 up 'til today they were my lucky pants 1.5829 0.02438 995 588 234 173
73 What Dress Code Commandment? 1.5826 0.02575 841 483 226 132
74 I didn’t know that taste was a consideration. 1.5763 0.02581 727 395 245 87
75 I guess I was wrong when I said that I wouldn't be caught dead in these pants. 1.5746 0.02405 992 585 244 163
76 So, I was trying the pants on and I said "I wouldn't be caught dead wearing something like this..." 1.5741 0.02586 810 465 225 120
77 I’ve been saving them for a special occasion. 1.5709 0.02666 748 428 213 107
78 Live a little,” she said. “Wear the ‘go to hell’ pants,” she said. “What could possibly go wrong? 1.5695 0.02694 748 433 204 111
79 You can't give us free will and then get mad because we use it. 1.5683 0.02738 769 459 183 127
80 I said you could come back and try again once you repented your checkered past, not once you re-panted with checkered pants 1.5675 0.02731 756 447 189 120
81 Sorry but it's your rules that make it come as you are. 1.5672 0.02779 647 362 203 82
82 Not in those, you don't. 1.5659 0.02752 728 427 190 111
83 Come on in. Joseph will be thrilled. 1.5629 0.02954 652 390 157 105
84 If laughter is the best medicine, those pants just cured cancer. 1.5609 0.03043 608 363 149 96
85 I told my wife, "I wouldn't be caught dead in those pants." And yet, here we are. 1.5602 0.02772 773 474 165 134
86 I thought all my fashion sins were absolved, too. 1.5601 0.02775 641 361 201 79
87 Funny, because my wife said I looked like hell. 1.5585 0.02779 684 398 190 96
88 And I say I *can* take them with me. 1.5567 0.03520 379 210 127 42
89 Any idea? My wife said that God only knows why I bought these pants. 1.5551 0.02941 672 411 149 112
90 Death said "Come as you are." 1.5543 0.02852 608 346 187 75
91 It was part of an elaborate dare. It did not go well. 1.5542 0.02966 572 328 171 73
92 Live a little!" she said 1.5533 0.02918 582 332 178 72
93 I guess you were caught dead in them after all. 1.5531 0.02728 772 471 175 126
94 I told her I'd rather die than give these to Goodwill. 1.5516 0.02853 678 407 168 103
95 I was color blind but now I see. 1.5492 0.02855 650 387 170 93
96 Well, excuse me for dying in Nantucket! 1.5459 0.02986 610 367 153 90
97 First the chequered past, now the chequered pants... 1.5435 0.03061 552 326 152 74
98 Are the robes mandatory? Because that's kind of a deal-breaker for me. 1.5427 0.02916 586 341 172 73
99 You expected white pants? It’s after Labor Day! 1.5403 0.02938 596 353 164 79
100 I see you passed through purgatory and brought along a souvenir. 1.5403 0.04172 298 177 81 40
101 Good point. If my shirt had this pattern, the car probably would have seen me. 1.5395 0.02922 608 362 164 82
102 …and so I says ‘The only way you’ll see me wear those pants is over my dead body’. 1.5377 0.03043 584 355 144 85
103 If I send you back, can you get me a pair? 1.5368 0.03156 557 343 129 85
104 Please tell me you have Rubik's Cubes in heaven. 1.5367 0.03203 490 289 139 62
105 Is it too late to change? 1.5367 0.03072 572 348 141 83
106 Here's the deal. You can come in but the pants can go to hell. 1.5356 0.03232 547 342 117 88
107 I thought a little color would bring a smile to the big guys face. 1.5351 0.03287 441 255 136 50
108 Hell? For the pants? Seriously?? 1.5341 0.03146 528 318 138 72
109 Don't let it color your judgment. 1.5314 0.03114 478 275 152 51
110 I never thought I'd be caught dead in these 1.5305 0.03198 541 336 123 82
111 That’s not fair. I was playing golf. 1.5303 0.03204 445 255 144 46
112 Hell wouldn't let me in. 1.5291 0.02851 618 369 171 78
113 My wife said she'd kill me if I wore these again. 1.5285 0.03092 543 329 141 73
114 He said, 'no way in hell' and sent me up here! 1.5284 0.03226 528 328 121 79
115 My wife said, "You wear those pants one more time and I'll kill you." And I said, "Oh yeah?!" 1.5258 0.03492 445 276 104 65
116 Well, I said I'd never get caught dead in these, but... 1.5251 0.03187 499 301 134 64
117 I told you I’ve been dying to wear these. 1.5234 0.03476 428 261 110 57
118 Yes, we do admit color-blind people 1.5211 0.03370 451 275 117 59
119 Your life’s choices are a bit of a puzzle to me, Mr. Rubik. 1.5209 0.03064 551 340 136 75
120 Tell Joseph I have his pants. 1.5208 0.03260 528 335 111 82
121 About this Genesis 37-3 thing, I was granted a “Coat of Many Colours,” but there was a mix up at the tailors! 1.5206 0.03188 436 251 143 42
122 Ironically, I had just said, "I wouldn't be caught dead in these pants." 1.5201 0.03104 548 339 133 76
123 Is it ok if I go back and change? 1.5190 0.03111 499 298 143 58
124 My wife said “if you wear those pants it’ll be the last thing you ever do”. 1.5160 0.03234 500 310 122 68
125 A checkered past, yes, but I’m a work in progress. 1.5124 0.03233 443 263 133 47
126 I’m looking for Joseph, he’s got the matching jacket. 1.5120 0.03159 500 306 132 62
127 Not Wearing Those, You Don't 1.5117 0.03563 383 232 106 45
128 Says the guy who's probably not even wearing pants. 1.5116 0.03496 430 269 102 59
129 I promised her I’d wear these so she could find me easier 1.5115 0.03282 434 259 128 47
130 They buried me in these pants. I had no choice. 1.5087 0.03555 403 250 101 52
131 Crimes against fashion aren't really sins,are they? 1.5072 0.03093 489 294 142 53
132 Isn’t it casual Good Friday? 1.5071 0.03329 420 252 123 45
133 You can stay but pants are going to hell. 1.5068 0.03229 511 324 115 72
134 But Joseph took my dinner jacket inside already. 1.5048 0.03282 416 247 128 41
135 She said she would kill me if I wore these pants. 1.5030 0.03195 503 316 121 66
136 If you let me, I’ll go home and change 1.5024 0.03454 412 257 104 51
137 My mother bought them for me, so technically they’re not the sins of my father. 1.5024 0.03340 418 253 120 45
138 What do you mean I'm at the wrong gate? 1.5014 0.03818 357 226 83 48
139 I do play golf every Sunday—what gave it away? 1.5000 0.03620 340 203 104 33
140 You chose that for eternity? 1.4974 0.03736 380 244 83 53
141 Apparently I have died of embarrassment. 1.4970 0.03880 338 216 77 45
142 My wife said she'd kill me if I wore these pants! 1.4961 0.03651 389 248 89 52
143 Thanks for getting me out of that Zoom meeting. 1.4961 0.03505 383 235 106 42
144 It turns out I would be seen dead in them after all. 1.4949 0.03704 394 256 81 57
145 No offence laddie. but the Scottish Heaven is next cloud over. 1.4941 0.03619 340 205 102 33
146 My wife said nobody in Hell would wear these pants. 1.4938 0.03572 403 257 93 53
147 My only crimes were against fashion. 1.4918 0.03197 425 255 131 39
148 No way in hell.” Those were his exact words. 1.4907 0.03461 428 274 98 56
149 I shouldn’t have been caught dead in these pants. 1.4905 0.03531 422 273 91 58
150 These are the Pearlie Gates. The Plaid Gates are down a bit. 1.4896 0.03632 384 245 90 49
151 I swore to myself I wouldn't be caught dead in these pants. 1.4895 0.03570 382 240 97 45
152 I’m afraid I was caught dead wearing these. 1.4895 0.03584 380 239 96 45
153 I didn't plan on being caught dead in these. 1.4892 0.03715 370 237 85 48
154 When you die on laundry day you don’t have a lot of options. 1.4891 0.03378 460 298 99 63
155 “All I said was ‘May God strike me dead if these aren’t the coolest pants ever’.” 1.4890 0.03936 362 241 65 56
156 I can safely rule out adultery 1.4888 0.03830 358 232 77 49
157 Any other sins besides crimes of fashion? 1.4870 0.03459 384 237 107 40
158 She said she’d kill me if I wore them in public. 1.4868 0.03481 417 267 97 53
159 Funny—my wife said these pants would be the death of HER. 1.4867 0.03650 339 208 97 34
160 I'm trying to look on the bright side, but I know I look like hell 1.4859 0.03790 319 197 89 33
161 My understanding is that you can forgive anything. 1.4853 0.03519 375 233 102 40
162 I was told that ALL my sins would be forgiven. 1.4845 0.03547 388 246 96 46
163 Well, I guess dead men DO wear plaid. 1.4842 0.03732 349 221 87 41
164 Do you by any chance know if I made that putt? 1.4841 0.03558 378 238 97 43
165 If I'd known that today would be the day, I would've worn something else. 1.4832 0.03334 416 259 113 44
166 Better checkered pants than a checkered past, right? 1.4813 0.03921 347 229 69 49
167 You must repent for your checkered past. 1.4812 0.03855 293 179 87 27
168 My wife will explain when she gets here. 1.4812 0.03519 372 232 101 39
169 She did say she'd kill me if I wore these again. 1.4809 0.03685 366 235 86 45
170 "I was dying, and my wife said those pants have to go also'" 1.4808 0.03600 391 253 88 50
171 I thought this was come as you are. 1.4806 0.03382 360 216 115 29
172 I thought we were doing this over Zoom. 1.4790 0.03857 357 236 71 50
173 Joseph was hesitant at first, but decided to embrace this new chapter of his life and wear his technicolor pants with confidence. “ 1.4777 0.03964 291 182 79 30
174 So, you were caught dead in those pants... 1.4764 0.04384 296 202 47 47
175 Mr. Rubik, I presume. 1.4757 0.04088 309 203 65 41
176 I was told all would be forgiven. 1.4753 0.03678 364 235 85 44
177 I’d assumed this would be on Zoom. 1.4744 0.03660 390 258 79 53
178 I was hoping you'd let me finish the round. 1.4743 0.03559 369 234 95 40
179 I was supposed to be on Zoom all day. 1.4731 0.03617 391 257 83 51
180 And you can’t think of a single thing you wish you could take back? 1.4731 0.03814 372 250 68 54
181 I thought they were killer pants. Little did I know. 1.4731 0.03736 334 212 86 36
182 I was serious when I said I'd rather die than part with these pants. 1.4722 0.04083 288 185 70 33
183 Turns out I was caught dead in these pants. 1.4700 0.03655 383 253 80 50
184 Mr. Rubik, party of one. 1.4699 0.03662 366 238 84 44
185 Tell Joseph his dry cleaner is here and I found the pants. 1.4698 0.04157 281 182 66 33
186 So it really was a sin to wear these to a wedding? 1.4697 0.03388 379 236 108 35
187 All I said was "If I ever got a hole in one, I'd drop dead on the spot" 1.4695 0.03761 328 209 84 35
188 So I said, "Let's head for the clubhouse and wait for the thunderstorm to pass." But my buddy said, "Just hold the flagstick and let me putt out first." 1.4690 0.03647 339 214 91 34
189 Hell sent me here. They have a dress code. 1.4681 0.03679 361 235 83 43
190 Well then maybe you shouldn't throw lightning bolts at golf courses. 1.4667 0.04218 270 175 64 31
191 It was a midlife crisis , not a mortal sin. 1.4659 0.03827 337 221 75 41
192 It's true. I do have a chequered past. 1.4658 0.03586 365 235 90 40
193 I could go home and change. 1.4656 0.03854 320 207 77 36
194 Now I’m caught dead wearing them? 1.4650 0.03873 329 216 73 40
195 Never guessed I'd be caught dead wearing these 1.4650 0.03849 329 215 75 39
196 Well that’s a crazy beard. 1.4649 0.04081 299 197 65 37
197 I didn't hear any complaints about Joseph's Coat of Many Colors! 1.4639 0.03768 360 240 73 47
198 I’m the afterlife of the party. 1.4637 0.04270 248 158 65 25
199 Guess I wore the "to die for" pants. 1.4627 0.03749 335 217 81 37
200 Who knew the fashion police would shoot to kill? 1.4624 0.04162 266 171 67 28
201 But it's only a fashion sin. 1.4618 0.03891 340 228 67 45
202 I was under the impression there would be golf. 1.4615 0.03907 325 215 70 40
203 How can ugly pants be a sin? 1.4589 0.03766 292 182 86 24
204 I told her I'd die of embarassment if she made me wear these. 1.4589 0.03914 316 208 71 37
205 My wife said she would kill me if I left the house wearing these. 1.4585 0.04280 253 164 62 27
206 You’re disappointed? I have to spend eternity in these pants. 1.4576 0.04138 271 176 66 29
207 I agree the pants may be a crime, but they are not a sin. 1.4574 0.03491 387 253 91 43
208 They go with the amazing technicolor dreamcoat. 1.4566 0.03636 346 224 86 36
209 Yes, fashion sins do count. 1.4564 0.03843 287 181 81 25
210 You caught me on wash day. 1.4559 0.03571 329 207 94 28
211 Finally built up the courage to wear these, and now I’m here. Figures. 1.4549 0.04317 244 158 61 25
212 I was told this would be over Zoom… 1.4549 0.04317 244 158 61 25
213 Can I stay in my Zoom pants? 1.4545 0.03840 297 190 79 28
214 Do you have any idea how long He's been looking for those? 1.4534 0.04240 247 159 64 24
215 When the time comes, can God make sure someone convinces Estelle to put on something she’ll just love wearing forever too? 1.4531 0.04094 256 163 70 23
216 Godly? I thought you said gaudy. 1.4528 0.03994 318 215 62 41
217 I thought it would be a Zoom meeting. 1.4528 0.04404 265 180 50 35
218 Long white robes! You got to be kidding. 1.4523 0.03912 283 181 76 26
219 I think Joseph has your jacket. 1.4519 0.04373 270 184 50 36
220 Sorry, I thought this was a Zoom meeting. 1.4507 0.04237 284 193 54 37
221 Nowhere in the literature does it mention a dress code. 1.4505 0.04053 293 195 64 34
222 I got caught dead wearing ‘these’? 1.4504 0.04204 262 172 62 28
223 Ten years in hell for playing at Mar-a-Lago. Another five for the pants. 1.4500 0.04400 260 176 51 33
224 I'm surprised the car didn't see you either. 1.4493 0.04759 227 155 42 30
225 I should be on the list. Rubik. 1.4490 0.04013 294 195 66 33
226 If I was made in your image, I'm guessing you've got a pair on as well. 1.4488 0.04277 283 194 51 38
227 I thought my wife was joking when she said if I ever wore this pants out in public she would kill me. 1.4487 0.04191 263 173 62 28
228 Can I just play through? 1.4482 0.03669 299 188 88 23
229 Aren't you supposed to judge me on my character? 1.4475 0.03580 324 206 91 27
230 Saint Laurent can vouch for me. 1.4473 0.04942 237 170 28 39
231 St. Peter, you should know that my wife picked out these pants. 1.4468 0.03951 282 183 72 27
232 Whaddaya saying? Dead men DO wear plaid 1.4464 0.04415 224 145 58 21
233 They may have been a crime, but last I checked, they were not a sin. 1.4462 0.03909 316 212 67 37
234 If they're inappropriate can I go home and change? 1.4437 0.04115 284 191 60 33
235 Well, excuse me for dying! I wasn't expecting Officer Peter of the Fashion Police. 1.4435 0.04299 248 164 58 26
236 After I said "over my dead body," the rest is kind of a blur. 1.4427 0.03794 314 207 75 32
237 The devil made me wear this. 1.4423 0.04188 260 172 61 27
238 It's not a sin, they were on sale. 1.4417 0.06351 120 81 25 14
239 Seriously, you pulled me off the 18th tee at 4 under par for this? 1.4410 0.04101 288 195 59 34
240 Please don’t judge me. 1.4404 0.04175 302 211 49 42
241 Well, so much for my lucky pants. 1.4401 0.04022 284 189 65 30
242 Why? There's nothing in the bible against plaid. 1.4400 0.04234 250 165 60 25
243 Are you sure you want to wear those pants for an eternity? 1.4389 0.04056 262 171 67 24
244 I thought this part was going to be on zoom. 1.4385 0.04291 260 176 54 30
245 I'm afraid your case is not as black and white as I initially thought. 1.4380 0.04101 258 169 65 24
246 But the other guy was wearing socks and sandals and he got in! 1.4380 0.04281 258 174 55 29
247 My last good deed was to take these with me. 1.4375 0.03983 272 178 69 25
248 in my defense it was casual Friday. 1.4375 0.04197 240 156 63 21
249 Lucky for you, it’s always casual Friday here. 1.4371 0.03668 302 194 84 24
250 A momentary decision I will regret for an eternity. 1.4371 0.04030 286 192 63 31
251 Really? A special place in fashion hell? I always thought my wife was just kidding. 1.4362 0.04281 243 161 58 24
252 Hell rejected me. 1.4361 0.04542 227 153 49 25
253 Just like you, I didn’t expect this.. I was on my way to do laundry when the accident happened 1.4358 0.04204 218 138 65 15
254 A crime against humanity seems a bit harsh...they're just my old golf pants. 1.4357 0.04101 241 155 67 19
255 The invitation said deceased casual 1.4354 0.04035 294 200 60 34
256 I was led to believe my sense of style was my saving grace. 1.4353 0.03864 255 161 77 17
257 Don’t judge me. 1.4353 0.03716 278 176 83 19
258 I said my decision was based on your checkered PAST" 1.4349 0.04182 269 182 57 30
259 Bad judgment!? Can you give me an example? 1.4349 0.03938 292 195 67 30
260 Angel wings? I'm going to look ridiculous" 1.4346 0.04060 283 191 61 31
261 Did your wife approve ... or is that why you're here? 1.4335 0.04183 263 177 58 28
262 OK, if you insist. But I’m not wearing underwear. 1.4328 0.04292 268 185 50 33
263 Sorry, but a fashion sin is still a sin. 1.4321 0.04357 243 164 53 26
264 It's what they buried me in. 1.4320 0.04074 250 163 66 21
265 You should have listened to your wife: 'Don't wear clothes you wouldn't be caught dead in' 1.4309 0.04239 246 164 58 24
266 I have an appointment with Jacob. 1.4307 0.03997 267 176 67 24
267 In my defense, I died on laundry day. 1.4307 0.03962 267 175 69 23
268 You are lucky! today is casual Friday. 1.4300 0.03895 293 196 68 29
269 And the last word I heard was “FORE”!!! 1.4300 0.04812 207 142 41 24
270 We try not to judge here but, seriously dude? 1.4298 0.04437 228 153 52 23
271 It’s my pants, isn’t it. 1.4298 0.04167 228 147 64 17
272 Forgive me, I thought this was a Zoom meeting. 1.4297 0.04278 249 168 55 26
273 Don't be so judgy. I'd love to see what YOU'RE wearing behind that podium. 1.4297 0.04075 263 175 63 25
274 I was just trying them on for a lark, said I wouldn't be caught dead in these, and... 1.4296 0.04201 270 185 54 31
275 Why yes, I was playing golf when I passed away. 1.4286 0.04010 252 164 68 20
276 I guess you WERE caught dead in those! 1.4286 0.04242 280 196 48 36
277 Sorry, I thought our meeting was going to be on Zoom. 1.4280 0.04150 250 166 61 23
278 Is it OK if I play through? 1.4279 0.04244 229 150 60 19
279 So now bad taste is a sin? 1.4274 0.04134 248 164 62 22
280 I swear to God, I thought it was a Zoom meeting. 1.4262 0.04352 237 160 53 24
281 I can lose them, but my underpants are embarrassing. 1.4261 0.04575 230 159 44 27
282 So when I said if I ever break par I would die happy I didn’t mean right then. 1.4256 0.04444 242 167 47 28
283 I think I've suffered enough. 1.4254 0.04412 228 156 48 24
284 Satan sent me up here and said he’d owe you one. 1.4252 0.04451 214 142 53 19
285 Tell Joseph I want my coat back. 1.4249 0.04228 273 190 50 33
286 Joseph, really, the coat was bad enough. 1.4246 0.04162 252 169 59 24
287 I heard crimes against fashion don't count. 1.4233 0.04532 215 145 49 21
288 Don't blame me -- YOU guys made me color blind. 1.4227 0.04314 220 145 57 18
289 Yeah, my wife said they were a sin too. 1.4227 0.04266 220 144 59 17
290 Joseph got the coat. 1.4215 0.04722 223 157 38 28
291 It was Pajama Day at work. 1.4215 0.04592 223 154 44 25
292 I was caught dead in these pants. 1.4213 0.04515 216 146 49 21
293 Lightning on the 17th hole. 1.4211 0.04259 247 168 54 25
294 I told them I wouldn't be caught dead in these pants and...well....here we are. 1.4208 0.04710 221 155 39 27
295 I meant to change before I died. 1.4206 0.04496 214 144 50 20
296 The last thing I remember is someone yelling 'Fore'! 1.4204 0.04323 245 168 51 26
297 But my country club lets me in wearing these. 1.4201 0.04277 219 144 58 17
298 Sorry, you caught me on laundry day. 1.4199 0.04167 231 152 61 18
299 I was shot by the fashion police. 1.4198 0.04575 212 144 47 21
300 Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride. Nothing about garishness. 1.4196 0.04487 224 153 48 23
301 Wait, they're actually a crime against humanity? 1.4194 0.04545 217 148 47 22
302 Where in the 10-Commandments mentions a Dress Code? 1.4191 0.03971 272 183 64 25
303 I would like to meet Piet Mondrian 1.4190 0.04299 210 137 58 15
304 There was nothing about dress code on the tablets. 1.4189 0.03828 265 173 73 19
305 But it worked for Joseph. 1.4188 0.04429 234 161 48 25
306 Harold planned for a different kind of stroke that day… 1.4184 0.04680 196 132 46 18
307 Why, Yes! I AM an NPR Contributor! 1.4182 0.04680 220 154 40 26
308 ...and that's why I was so reluctant about giving you guys 'free will'. 1.4180 0.04561 244 174 38 32
309 I know they say "you can't take it with you," but my wife insisted. 1.4179 0.04216 268 187 50 31
310 I said we can forgive your checkered past, not pants. 1.4178 0.04795 213 150 37 26
311 No, no, it was a crime of 'fashion.' 1.4178 0.04606 213 146 45 22
312 You’re right-I didn’t put it in the Ten Commandments. But I should’ve. 1.4178 0.04602 225 157 42 26
313 Dress for the Heaven you want,not the one you have. 1.4174 0.04386 218 146 53 19
314 Can I get wings to match? 1.4171 0.04736 199 136 43 20
315 My wife picked them out. She's already here. 1.4167 0.04511 216 147 48 21
316 Yeah, that's what my wife said, too. 1.4163 0.04099 221 143 64 14
317 Governor DeSantis dropped me here. 1.4155 0.04945 207 148 32 27
318 Just my luck I kick the bucket on laundry day. 1.4149 0.04331 241 166 50 25
319 Oh,and I suppose pearly gates aren’t flashy? 1.4149 0.04410 241 168 46 27
320 They said , it's come as you are. 1.4149 0.04451 188 122 54 12
321 Please. It was my only sin. 1.4148 0.04411 229 157 49 23
322 It wasn’t my idea. This is how they buried me. 1.4146 0.04457 246 174 42 30
323 I realize they're ugly but are they a sin? 1.4143 0.04451 210 141 51 18
324 My wife, Doris, warned me that if I wore these pants again, well...here I am. 1.4141 0.04305 227 153 54 20
325 It’s a fashion faux pas, not a mortal sin. 1.4139 0.04049 244 162 63 19
326 In my defense, I'm not wearing a striped shirt. 1.4138 0.04559 203 137 48 18
327 Please don’t tell me there’s a dress code. 1.4135 0.04322 208 137 56 15
328 Why, yes, my name IS Joseph. 1.4135 0.04683 208 144 42 22
329 I told my wife I wouldn't be caught dead in these pants. She took me up on it. 1.4133 0.04332 225 152 53 20
330 Go home. Change. THEN have your heart attack. 1.4132 0.04473 242 171 42 29
331 No, I said checkered past... . 1.4129 0.05006 201 144 31 26
332 Could you cut me some slacks " 1.4126 0.04169 223 147 60 16
333 Yes, I did say over my dead body. 1.4126 0.04584 223 156 42 25
334 No, I was in the fitting room. Why do you ask? 1.4113 0.04200 248 170 54 24
335 I was working from home. 1.4110 0.04098 236 157 61 18
336 You're gonna judge me, aren't you. 1.4104 0.04567 212 146 45 21
337 I'm sorry but it doesn't matter what else you've done. 1.4096 0.04042 271 187 57 27
338 With due respect, dead men are known to wear plaid. 1.4096 0.04694 188 127 45 16
339 I'd like a Special Master 1.4095 0.04696 210 147 40 23
340 I need a tie? 1.4088 0.05190 181 129 30 22
341 So my wife will recognize me. 1.4085 0.03978 213 136 67 10
342 Oh, I thought this would be a Zoom meeting. 1.4084 0.04142 262 182 53 27
343 I'm Harvey and his technicolor dream pants. 1.4082 0.04556 196 132 48 16
344 Can you tell Joseph that I have his pants. 1.4079 0.04375 228 157 49 22
345 And I said I would not be caught dead in these pants. 1.4078 0.04859 179 122 41 16
346 Supply chain issues. 1.4076 0.05007 184 129 35 20
347 Go ahead, make fun of the pants. It’s not gonna kill me. 1.4074 0.04299 243 169 49 25
348 Well, it's not my heaven without them. 1.4071 0.04447 226 157 46 23
349 Sigh. Ok, I’ll tell you the same thing I told Joseph. 1.4068 0.04662 177 120 43 14
350 I don't know anyone named Joseph. Why? 1.4061 0.04706 197 136 42 19
351 If it helps, I'm happy to tell you where I got them. 1.4059 0.04143 239 162 57 20
352 This is a tough one. Your life was mostly virtuous, but those pants are a sin. 1.4057 0.04245 244 169 51 24
353 No, these are cirrus clouds, not circus clouds. 1.4057 0.05002 175 121 37 17
354 I didn't think a person could actually die from embarrassment. 1.4057 0.04463 212 145 48 19
355 Speak up, I can’t hear you over your pants! 1.4054 0.04618 185 124 47 14
356 Sorry, and I always said I wouldn’t be found dead in these pants” 1.4053 0.04475 227 159 44 24
357 Pants: 20 years in purgatory . . . 1.4053 0.05001 190 135 33 22
358 I'll be the afterlife of the party. 1.4051 0.04332 195 128 55 12
359 Did the fashion police shoot you? 1.4049 0.04412 205 138 51 16
360 You didn’t give me time to change. 1.4049 0.03923 247 164 66 17
361 Turns out we do wear plaid. 1.4047 0.04268 215 144 55 16
362 I was obviously not aware I would wear it for eternity 1.4046 0.04243 262 186 46 30
363 But my wife said that they'd work everywhere. 1.4042 0.04254 240 166 51 23
364 It was a very liberal college. 1.4041 0.04660 193 132 44 17
365 The fashion police sent me. 1.4041 0.04775 193 134 40 19
366 I didn’t have time to change. 1.4034 0.04110 238 161 58 19
367 Quilty as charged. 1.4033 0.04687 181 122 45 14
368 Judge not, lest ye be judged. 1.4031 0.04514 191 128 49 14
369 So golfing is a sin? 1.4030 0.04581 201 138 45 18
370 I panicked at the disco. 1.4030 0.04526 201 137 47 17
371 My name's Rubik. Am I in? 1.4021 0.04755 194 135 40 19
372 When I bought ‘em I didn’t think I’d wear ‘em forever. 1.4016 0.04359 244 173 44 27
373 Sorry, I didn’t have time to pack. 1.4010 0.04453 202 137 49 16
374 So? You let Joseph in! 1.4009 0.04314 222 152 51 19
375 Yes, a golfer, but I never played with Trump. 1.4009 0.04544 222 157 41 24
376 I'm just curious why you didn't help me with that putt. 1.4000 0.04297 205 137 54 14
377 Joseph has the matching jacket Sir 1.4000 0.04670 205 144 40 21
378 Tell me more about your checkered past. 1.4000 0.04895 180 125 38 17
379 My only regret in life is I didn't wear them more 1.4000 0.04135 265 187 50 28
380 I thought poor judgement was forgiven 1.3991 0.04417 218 151 47 20
381 I've been to hell and back in these pants. 1.3990 0.04490 203 139 47 17
382 I got hell? Whatever for? 1.3989 0.04710 183 125 43 15
383 Well....you liked Joseph's coat. 1.3983 0.04173 236 162 54 20
384 Last thing I remember, these pants were killing me. 1.3982 0.04557 221 157 40 24
385 YOU can come in, but those are going straight to Hell! 1.3981 0.04196 216 145 56 15
386 ...I thought if I wore these you'd send me back. 1.3980 0.04630 201 140 42 19
387 It turns out Hell has a dress code. Any luck here? 1.3978 0.05073 186 134 30 22
388 I'm not sure I'll fit in. 1.3974 0.03886 229 150 67 12
389 I was not told there was a dress code. 1.3971 0.04344 209 142 51 16
390 Will there be quilting? 1.3970 0.04552 199 137 45 17
391 Well, since I’m here, perhaps you can settle an argument. Do these strike you as “god-awful”? 1.3966 0.05099 179 128 31 20
392 Oh, yeah? Well, are you even wearing any? 1.3966 0.04285 237 166 48 23
393 You be the judge.” 1.3962 0.04352 212 145 50 17
394 Your friends were right. You DON’T have the sense I gave you. 1.3962 0.04453 212 147 46 19
395 What else did you do in life Mr. Rubik? 1.3961 0.04426 207 142 48 17
396 It's even worse. They're bellbottoms! 1.3958 0.04896 192 137 34 21
397 I said checkered PAST, not pants. 1.3958 0.04668 192 133 42 17
398 This is what my wife buried me in. 1.3955 0.04751 177 121 42 14
399 Wait! I can change! 1.3955 0.04818 177 122 40 15
400 I hope golfing on Sunday isn’t a dealbreaker. 1.3953 0.05120 172 122 32 18
401 I thought this was a Zoom interview. 1.3953 0.04553 215 152 41 22
402 Please don't tell Joseph, I left the coat at the cleaners. 1.3950 0.04533 200 138 45 17
403 Tell Joseph I want my jacket back. 1.3950 0.04643 200 140 41 19
404 Let's not make this about my pants. 1.3947 0.04227 228 157 52 19
405 She was wrong when she said, "It won't it kill you to wear the pants your aunt made you." 1.3946 0.04669 185 127 43 15
406 Any other sins? Other than those pants? 1.3944 0.04486 213 149 44 20
407 I wanted to stand out in the cloud. 1.3943 0.04718 175 119 43 13
408 He's a forgiving God, but not that forgiving. 1.3941 0.05296 170 123 27 20
409 My only sin was against fashion. 1.3936 0.03931 249 169 62 18
410 Have you seen Joseph? I think he has my coat. 1.3930 0.04570 201 140 43 18
411 No, no, not a checkered past - checkered pants 1.3927 0.04099 219 147 58 14
412 And I said I'd never be caught dead with these pants on. 1.3927 0.04740 191 134 39 18
413 At least I had clean underwear on. 1.3923 0.04673 181 124 43 14
414 Look! If I’d known I’d be coming here directly from the golf course I would have worn different pants! 1.3923 0.04673 181 124 43 14
415 Hell wouldn't take me. 1.3922 0.04678 204 145 38 21
416 Unforgiveable. 1.3915 0.04408 189 127 50 12
417 I have a second pair, just in case I get a hole in one. 1.3915 0.04949 189 136 32 21
418 Well, my wife was wrong. She said nobody would be caught dead in these. 1.3913 0.04678 207 148 37 22
419 Yes, I know you’re not supposed to look up when someone yells ‘Fore!’ 1.3911 0.04968 179 127 34 18
420 You have a right to judge my soul but not my taste in fashion. 1.3906 0.04603 192 133 43 16
421 Mind if I play through? 1.3902 0.04395 205 141 48 16
422 When I said I wouldn't be caught dead wearing these pants, I wasn't being literal. 1.3899 0.04501 218 155 41 22
423 They didn't like them at the other place, either. 1.3899 0.04358 218 152 47 19
424 Joseph got the coat. I got the trousers. 1.3891 0.04210 239 168 49 22
425 Well, when you catch me in the middle of a golf game ... 1.3886 0.04404 193 131 49 13
426 Wanda said "those pants are to die for" and, well, here I am. 1.3886 0.04924 193 140 31 22
427 Thanks, they used to be part of a set. 1.3883 0.04419 188 127 49 12
428 The cartoonist ran out of ink 1.3882 0.05019 170 120 34 16
429 Please tell Joseph I'd like my coat back. 1.3880 0.04728 183 130 36 17
430 Erno Rubrik. 1.3880 0.04822 183 129 37 17
431 You'd think the car would've seen me. 1.3880 0.04822 183 129 37 17
432 I said checkered pants...your past is fine. 1.3874 0.04530 222 160 38 24
433 You died in 2022, but that look died in 1972." 1.3869 0.04650 199 141 39 19
434 I know I have a checkered past. 1.3867 0.04600 181 124 44 13
435 No plaid after Labor Day! 1.3865 0.04948 163 113 37 13
436 They're fire resistant. 1.3865 0.04519 207 146 42 19
437 They say the driver didn't see me. 1.3861 0.04266 202 137 52 13
438 I'm sorry. Those are godforsaken. 1.3861 0.05057 158 110 35 13
439 I died of shame 1.3858 0.04683 197 140 38 19
440 I was wondering whether Joseph still needed that coat. 1.3858 0.04339 197 134 50 13
441 Fashion purgatory!? 1.3857 0.04236 223 155 50 18
442 Well, I told my wife that if she made a hole in one I would drop dead. 1.3857 0.04558 223 162 36 25
443 What dress code? 1.3853 0.04103 218 148 56 14
444 Hello, I’m here to see Joseph about the coat he advertised online. 1.3846 0.04716 195 139 37 19
445 Is this somewhere over the rainbow? 1.3846 0.04501 208 147 42 19
446 At least they're not bell bottoms. 1.3843 0.04127 216 147 55 14
447 I said I would die for a pair of these pants so that's on me. 1.3842 0.04689 190 134 39 17
448 Well, the devil wore Prada. 1.3842 0.04689 190 134 39 17
449 Could you check under the name Rubik? 1.3842 0.04668 177 122 42 13
450 Thou shall not, like ever. 1.3841 0.05220 151 106 32 13
451 What do you mean, "Go to hell?" 1.3836 0.05347 146 103 30 13
452 Laundry day. 1.3830 0.05294 141 98 32 11
453 I agree that they're loud, but a sin? 1.3830 0.04539 188 130 44 14
454 The look on my wife's face when she saw the pants I bought scared me to death. 1.3829 0.04561 175 119 45 11
455 I did my level best to live a Kodachrome life in a monochrome world. 1.3824 0.04232 204 139 52 13
456 My only sins are against fashion 1.3821 0.04123 212 144 55 13
457 Well, I like them, so who are you to judge? 1.3818 0.04174 220 152 52 16
458 Have you seen a guy named Joseph? He has my coat... 1.3818 0.04974 165 116 35 14
459 It was dress-down Friday when it happened. 1.3814 0.04317 194 132 50 12
460 It's a crime, not a sin. 1.3810 0.05123 168 121 30 17
461 Says the guy wearing white after Labor Day? 1.3807 0.04818 176 124 37 15
462 But your book doesn't mention a dress code. 1.3807 0.04885 176 125 35 16
463 Sure, the funeral was cheap. Why do you ask? 1.3804 0.04604 184 128 42 14
464 Finally. Someone not dressed like they just came from a funeral. 1.3804 0.05035 184 135 28 21
465 I'm not supposed to be here, but Satan said 'Aw, hell no.' 1.3801 0.04987 171 122 33 16
466 ...and then I said "Those pants are to die for". So here I am. 1.3799 0.04488 179 122 46 11
467 Really? You have a dress code? 1.3798 0.04546 208 149 39 20
468 Evans. Noon Tee time. 1.3797 0.05127 158 112 32 14
469 Really? Poor taste is now a disqualifier? 1.3796 0.04472 216 155 40 21
470 DeSantis sent me. 1.3795 0.05166 166 120 29 17
471 My pastor didn't tell me there was a dress code. 1.3791 0.04571 182 126 43 13
472 Do you mind if I play through? 1.3791 0.05080 153 107 34 12
473 If you're waiting for the other members of your foursome, Senator Stanton, I'm afraid I have some bad news. 1.3789 0.04941 161 115 32 14
474 I asked you to be godly, not gaudy… big difference” 1.3788 0.04431 198 138 45 15
475 Hey, He made me in His image. 1.3787 0.04957 169 120 34 15
476 There is a dress code. 1.3784 0.04387 185 126 48 11
477 Excuse me, but I think it was YOU who made me colorblind. 1.3784 0.05199 148 104 32 12
478 I told intake I had a checkered past - they thought I said checkered pants. 1.3783 0.04090 230 160 53 17
479 I know dead men don't wear plaid but can you make an exception? 1.3775 0.05125 151 106 33 12
480 Checkered past? I thought you said you wanted to discuss my checkered pants. 1.3775 0.04502 204 145 41 18
481 I am a virgin, as you can probably tell. 1.3774 0.05254 159 115 28 16
482 Ironically, Ed my neighbor said to me just this morning that he wouldn’t be caught dead in these pants. 1.3774 0.04062 212 144 56 12
483 Looks like I can take them with me 1.3772 0.04544 167 113 45 9
484 Joseph says he wants his pants back. 1.3771 0.04764 175 123 38 14
485 My mother-in-law is a quilter 1.3770 0.04931 183 133 31 19
486 I knew they'd have an afterlife. 1.3770 0.04602 191 135 40 16
487 Table for one, please 1.3768 0.04401 207 146 44 17
488 I think Joseph has a matching coat… 1.3767 0.04483 215 155 39 21
489 Yes, these are the pants they buried me in” 1.3759 0.05401 133 93 30 10
490 They said checkered pants, not checkered past. 1.3756 0.04779 197 144 32 21
491 It all happened so fast...I didn't have time to change. 1.3756 0.04321 205 143 47 15
492 My pants? For God sake you let Joseph in with that horrible coat. 1.3750 0.04877 176 126 34 16
493 Bowling, yes. How did you know? 1.3750 0.04459 176 120 46 10
494 I says here you were a used-car salesman. Is that correct? 1.3750 0.05151 160 115 30 15
495 What do you mean, no plaid? 1.3744 0.04235 203 140 50 13
496 Cover charge AND dress code? 1.3743 0.04685 179 126 39 14
497 They wouldn’t let me in downstairs either. 1.3742 0.05190 155 111 30 14
498 They said there'd be golf here. 1.3737 0.04595 198 142 38 18
499 Couldn't you have let me sink the putt? 1.3736 0.04563 182 127 42 13
500 Is there golf up there? 1.3736 0.04563 182 127 42 13
501 So, just white then? 1.3736 0.04847 174 124 35 15
502 So everyone WAS lying when they said they loved the pants. 1.3735 0.04790 166 116 38 12
503 It's not that we don't allow golfers, per se... 1.3731 0.04443 193 135 44 14
504 Good god, I never thought a fashion sin would count! 1.3725 0.04549 204 147 38 19
505 Laundry day. Just my luck. 1.3723 0.04648 188 134 38 16
506 I'll let you in if you tell me where you got those. 1.3723 0.04460 188 131 44 13
507 Liar,liar,pants on fire! 1.3714 0.05104 140 97 34 9
508 I wouldn’t be caught alive in these pants 1.3713 0.04415 202 143 43 16
509 What pants? 1.3711 0.05091 159 114 31 14
510 Satan said to try you again. 1.3711 0.04932 159 112 35 12
511 Lucky" pants, my ass 1.3706 0.04780 170 120 37 13
512 What if I promise to sit in the back? 1.3704 0.04362 216 155 42 19
513 Needless to say, I have a checkered past. 1.3704 0.04313 216 154 44 18
514 No thanks! Just looking for my ball. 1.3701 0.04783 154 106 39 9
515 I’m really not allowed in? Is it the pants? 1.3700 0.04272 200 139 48 13
516 That's how they buried you? 1.3699 0.04577 173 120 42 11
517 I thought these pants were to die for. 1.3692 0.04345 195 136 46 13
518 I'd like a final word with my caddie.” 1.3692 0.04633 214 159 31 24
519 I literally died of embarrassment. 1.3691 0.04888 149 103 37 9
520 When I saw these pants on sale I thought I had died and gone to heaven 1.3689 0.04512 206 149 38 19
521 Okay, it's a fashion crime. I didn't think it counted. 1.3689 0.04297 206 145 46 15
522 I was surprised that I could still fit in them. Next whata you know, I'm here. 1.3688 0.05173 141 99 32 10
523 So yeah, long story short, it turns out these pants really were to die for. 1.3687 0.04937 179 131 30 18
524 What? They were on sale. 1.3687 0.04327 179 122 48 9
525 Hell said they wouldn't take me in these. 1.3684 0.04484 190 134 42 14
526 Not with those pants you're not. 1.3684 0.05254 152 110 28 14
527 Maybe it wouldn’t have killed me to put on a decent pair of pants. 1.3681 0.04814 182 132 33 17
528 Is there a golf course? 1.3679 0.04555 193 138 39 16
529 They are my only real sin. 1.3677 0.04845 155 108 37 10
530 It wasn't a sin in the 80s! 1.3676 0.05504 136 98 26 12
531 They said I can't go there either. 1.3676 0.04631 185 132 38 15
532 It originally came with a dream coat. 1.3676 0.04631 185 132 38 15
533 I had no idea certain fashion mistakes could be fatal. 1.3671 0.04334 207 147 44 16
534 You look like fun 1.3669 0.05017 139 96 35 8
535 I still don't understand. Paradise has a dress code? 1.3669 0.04794 169 120 36 13
536 What if I were to lose the pants? 1.3667 0.04587 180 127 40 13
537 I got em on sale. Why? 1.3667 0.04235 180 122 50 8
538 My wife insisted I be buried in these. 1.3665 0.04705 191 139 34 18
539 Those pants look like Hell! 1.3665 0.05114 161 117 29 15
540 I caused a seven car accident while crossing an intersection. 1.3665 0.05190 161 118 27 16
541 I didn't realize how much my wife hated these pants. 1.3664 0.05653 131 95 24 12
542 They're "after the fall" colors. 1.3663 0.05013 172 126 29 17
543 I’ll admit I have a checkered past” 1.3660 0.04594 194 140 37 17
544 I never knew fashion sins would count. 1.3657 0.04606 175 123 40 12
545 Im not dead. I'm just looking for my golf ball. 1.3654 0.05231 156 114 27 15
546 I just assumed you would have golf courses here. 1.3654 0.03922 208 141 58 9
547 I'm sorry Peter, but I lost my sense of taste with my Covid." 1.3654 0.05071 156 112 31 13
548 God forbid I bring some style to this place. 1.3653 0.04832 167 119 35 13
549 My greatest sin is wearing these pants in public. 1.3653 0.04361 167 113 47 7
550 Yeah, I'm his cousin. I got the pants of many colors. 1.3651 0.04680 189 137 35 17
551 To err is human … 1.3643 0.05190 140 99 31 10
552 What do you mean there's no golf course? This is Heaven right? 1.3642 0.05102 151 108 31 12
553 Didn’t know looks COULD kill. 1.3642 0.04926 151 106 35 10
554 You couldn’t have struck down the player 2 strokes ahead of me? 1.3642 0.04935 162 116 33 13
555 You know I was about to tee off right? 1.3642 0.04696 162 113 39 10
556 I was wondering if I could get a matching Halo. 1.3636 0.04527 187 133 40 14
557 That's where I just came from. He sent me up here. 1.3631 0.05025 168 123 29 16
558 I had hoped to be playing golf this afternoon 1.3627 0.04176 193 133 50 10
559 I have a colorful but checkered past. 1.3626 0.04478 182 128 42 12
560 Mr. Rubik, it says here you caused millions of people to waste a lot of time. 1.3626 0.04819 171 123 34 14
561 They kicked me out of Hell for wearing these pants. 1.3626 0.05230 171 129 22 20
562 They got me into Studio 54. 1.3625 0.05207 160 118 26 16
563 It was either these or skinny jeans 1.3625 0.04975 160 115 32 13
564 I'm not one to judge.... 1.3624 0.04968 149 105 34 10
565 I found them in purgatory 1.3624 0.05147 149 107 30 12
566 I’m not staying. Some guy named Joseph borrowed the matching coat and I’m just getting it back. 1.3623 0.04104 207 144 51 12
567 Can I play through? 1.3621 0.04618 174 123 39 12
568 None of my final wishes were followed. 1.3620 0.04832 163 116 35 12
569 So what if it's Judgment Day? I don't judge your hairstyle. 1.3617 0.04507 188 134 40 14
570 Well, no one told me there was a dress code. 1.3617 0.04856 141 97 37 7
571 Dead men don't wear plaid. 1.3614 0.04920 166 120 32 14
572 I hope you brought your own golf balls. 1.3614 0.04846 166 119 34 13
573 I like to make a strong last impression. 1.3611 0.04789 144 99 38 7
574 Is it true, if I wear these, my kid can get into Princeton? 1.3611 0.05271 144 104 28 12
575 I've led a colorful life. 1.3611 0.04370 180 125 45 10
576 Then she said "Those pants are so loud,you couldn't hear an ambulance if it was about to hit you!" 1.3608 0.05017 158 114 31 13
577 God forbid you wear those pants in public," she said.. 1.3605 0.05283 147 107 27 13
578 I understood this would be Casual Eternity. 1.3605 0.04796 172 124 34 14
579 She wanted me to wear something "more appropriate." I said, "over my dead body." 1.3598 0.05109 164 121 27 16
580 Hey, look! Our shirts match! 1.3596 0.04747 178 129 34 15
581 But these are my lucky pants 1.3596 0.04679 178 128 36 14
582 Is it possible for me to play through? 1.3595 0.05047 153 110 31 12
583 I plaid guilty, your honor 1.3592 0.05414 142 104 25 13
584 unfortunately the sin of those trousers overrides your humanitarian work. 1.3591 0.04690 181 131 35 15
585 Some sartorial sins are unforgivable, my son. 1.3590 0.05220 156 115 26 15
586 Let me guess - You wouldn't take the penalty stroke when it rolled into the gator-infested pond, am I right? 1.3587 0.04823 184 136 30 18
587 Those look like hell to me! 1.3586 0.05241 145 105 28 12
588 So your problem isn't with the pattern, but just the polyester? 1.3586 0.05149 145 104 30 11
589 Welcome, Mr Jones. Your foursome is waiting on the first tee. 1.3585 0.04990 159 115 31 13
590 The sales clerk did say,"those pants kill." 1.3585 0.04990 159 115 31 13
591 I died in the 70s. I spent 50 years in purgatory. 1.3583 0.05650 120 86 25 9
592 I don’t believe in khakis. 1.3583 0.04118 187 128 51 8
593 Hmm...pants to match your past, I see. 1.3582 0.04577 201 148 34 19
594 Well of course they’re pajamas. Your people said the initial interview would be done remotely. 1.3581 0.04599 148 101 41 6
595 what do you mean there’s no golfing here?! 1.3580 0.04924 162 117 32 13
596 You were on the list, but I can't in good conscience let you in wearing those. 1.3576 0.04422 165 116 40 9
597 The funeral director and I were not exactly best friends. 1.3571 0.05371 140 102 26 12
598 Dress code? They said the same thing at the other place! 1.3571 0.05103 154 112 29 13
599 Anyone happen to turn in a matching jacket? 1.3567 0.04437 171 119 43 9
600 These got me into Augusta. 1.3567 0.04783 157 111 36 10
601 My life was all about balance- business on the top and party on the bottom 1.3566 0.05195 143 103 29 11
602 I'm just playing through. 1.3563 0.04386 174 121 44 9
603 These pants are the only crime I committed 1.3559 0.04482 177 125 41 11
604 Excuse me, is this the back 9? 1.3558 0.04975 163 119 30 14
605 I made Joseph's coat of many colors. Can you tell him his pants are ready 1.3558 0.04898 163 118 32 13
606 It was the pants, wasn't? 1.3556 0.04768 180 132 32 16
607 Seriously? This is where you draw the line? 1.3554 0.04910 166 121 31 14
608 Ernõ Rubik here, Sir. 1.3554 0.05852 121 89 21 11
609 Were you expecting a fig leaf? 1.3553 0.04584 197 145 34 18
610 What, there's a dress code? 1.3553 0.04975 152 109 32 11
611 Sure. Put me down as 'Retired.' 1.3551 0.05325 138 100 27 11
612 You are on the list. I have you bunking with Joseph. 1.3551 0.05423 138 101 25 12
613 What? Too much? 1.3550 0.04699 169 121 36 12
614 Oh thank heavens, I just got out of disco purgatory. 1.3550 0.04699 169 121 36 12
615 I don't care if you invented the rubik cube, you still can't wear those. 1.3548 0.04734 155 109 37 9
616 The guy said, "Your pants or your life" but I STILL GOT THE PANTS BABY! 1.3548 0.04907 155 111 33 11
617 We don't judge people by the color of their skin, but the color of those pants are another story. 1.3547 0.04642 172 123 37 12
618 I'm with Clowns For Christ. 1.3544 0.04842 158 113 34 11
619 A little judgy, aren’t we! 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
620 The devil made me do it 1.3540 0.05243 161 121 23 17
621 So it's actually Hell that's 'come as you are.' 1.3539 0.04737 178 130 33 15
622 We're out of white robes so your only option is the lost and found. 1.3539 0.04316 178 124 45 9
623 Not with those pants. 1.3537 0.05270 147 108 26 13
624 I didn't know the fashion police actually carried guns 1.3537 0.05270 147 108 26 13
625 This is cloud nine, not the back nine. 1.3537 0.05090 147 106 30 11
626 They were a Christmas gift. So, in a way, it's your son's fault. 1.3534 0.05767 133 100 19 14
627 Sorry I'm late. The undertaker couldn't find a matching jacket. 1.3533 0.05018 150 108 31 11
628 In my case, things aren't always black or white. 1.3533 0.04743 150 105 37 8
629 Did someone put me up to what? 1.3533 0.04735 167 120 35 12
630 I said I'd rather die than donate my lucky golf pants. 1.3533 0.04811 167 121 33 13
631 My outfit killed at the course today. 1.3529 0.05575 136 101 22 13
632 Well, my wife always said I could wear these in hell but looks like she was wrong about that too. 1.3526 0.04267 190 134 45 11
633 I’d like to speak to your supervisor. 1.3525 0.04882 139 97 35 7
634 The first thing I want is a head of hair like that. 1.3521 0.05307 142 104 26 12
635 Have you seen my coat? 1.3520 0.04580 179 129 37 13
636 We can overlook your checkered past, but not those pants. 1.3519 0.04754 162 116 35 11
637 There's no dress code, and it's technically not a sin, but it's against my better judgment to let you in. 1.3512 0.04787 168 122 33 13
638 So close, man. So close. 1.3511 0.05074 131 92 32 7
639 Can I have a few minutes to finish the laundry? 1.3509 0.04653 171 123 36 12
640 I know Joseph with the technicolor dream coat is up here. Can you let him know his nephew Morris with the pants of many colors is here at the Gate? 1.3506 0.05255 154 115 24 15
641 Yes, well, 'helluva look' was a figure of speech. 1.3506 0.04809 174 128 31 15
642 At least I was caught dead wearing these. 1.3504 0.04924 137 96 34 7
643 So judgy 1.3500 0.05061 140 100 31 9
644 That 16th hole was a killer. 1.3500 0.05632 120 87 24 9
645 If I knew this was going to happen today, I would’ve made different choices. 1.3500 0.04708 160 114 36 10
646 These...? For all of eternity? 1.3497 0.04649 163 116 37 10
647 Hell no. 1.3493 0.05106 146 106 29 11
648 They got me into Willow Creek Country Club! 1.3491 0.04980 169 126 27 16
649 I admit, it's a bit checkered. 1.3487 0.04692 152 107 37 8
650 I did not mean it! I would not rather die than wear these pants! 1.3485 0.05587 132 98 22 12
651 The last thing I remember is her asking me if I wanted to be buried “in those damn pants.” 1.3484 0.04980 155 113 30 12
652 I thought all I caught was disco fever. 1.3484 0.04980 155 113 30 12
653 Checkered past? No, just the pants. 1.3481 0.05077 135 96 31 8
654 I can't wear these? Forget it then. 1.3481 0.04994 158 116 29 13
655 Hello Peter, I’m Joseph. Have you seen my Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat? 1.3481 0.04829 158 114 33 11
656 I have a checkered past. 1.3478 0.04927 161 118 30 13
657 Can you believe I was still hit by a bus? 1.3478 0.05929 115 85 20 10
658 I must have dyed and gone to Heaven. 1.3476 0.04625 187 138 33 16
659 Why would the pants have anything to do with it? 1.3476 0.04544 164 116 39 9
660 Guess I got caught dead 1.3476 0.04705 164 118 35 11
661 Your Tee Time is 10:00 am. 1.3476 0.04784 164 119 33 12
662 He sent me back up here. I have no idea why. 1.3473 0.04947 167 124 28 15
663 I want my Wife to recognize me when her turn is up. 1.3472 0.04860 144 102 34 8
664 As you can see I have a bit of a checkered past. 1.3471 0.04665 170 123 35 12
665 You’re not on Zoom anymore. 1.3471 0.04436 170 120 41 9
666 I've been guilty of bad taste. 1.3468 0.04148 173 119 48 6
667 I thought there would be golf courses. 1.3468 0.04608 173 125 36 12
668 I was told life isn't black and white. 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
669 Sorry. No one told me about the clothes exception to 'You can't take it with you.' 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
670 Wait, I thought sucking at golf WAS purgatory! 1.3465 0.05405 127 92 26 9
671 Sorry. I was dressed for Zoom. 1.3464 0.04847 153 110 33 10
672 Your wife says to send you back to change your pants. 1.3462 0.04649 182 134 33 15
673 I thought I'd dress for either destination. 1.3462 0.04868 156 113 32 11
674 Let me guess, Joseph's expanded his technicolor line to pants. 1.3459 0.04967 159 117 29 13
675 With all due respect, Saint Peter, there's a small but crucial error in that report on me. I have checkered PANTS, not a checkered PAST." 1.3459 0.04804 159 115 33 11
676 You might not know my name, but you'll remember these pants! 1.3459 0.04635 159 113 37 9
677 But everyone down there kept telling me there was a special place in Heaven for people like me. 1.3459 0.04804 159 115 33 11
678 Just so that you know... Your putt went right in. 1.3457 0.04666 188 140 31 17
679 Sorry I had to interrupt your golf game. 1.3457 0.04901 162 119 30 13
680 'I'm a descendant of Joseph but without the coat." 1.3457 0.04742 162 117 34 11
681 Of course there’s a dress code. 1.3456 0.05258 136 99 27 10
682 It would be a simple decision but for the pants. 1.3448 0.04832 145 103 34 8
683 To err is human, but those pants are unforgivable. 1.3448 0.05305 145 108 24 13
684 Is there a place for Rubik's Cube aficionados? 1.3446 0.04532 177 128 37 12
685 Well, I didn’t plan to die in these. 1.3446 0.04460 177 127 39 11
686 My wife always said if I didn't throw these out, she'd throw them out with me. 1.3446 0.05138 148 109 27 12
687 What Eleventh Commandment? 1.3444 0.05402 151 115 20 16
688 You can't judge me for being concerned that I'm the only one in line. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
689 Well, it’s obvious what your Original Sin is. 1.3441 0.04445 186 135 38 13
690 What happened to judging me by the content of my character rather than by the garishness of my gaberdines. 1.3440 0.05029 125 90 28 7
691 No one told me there's a dress code. 1.3439 0.04671 157 112 36 9
692 But this IS dressing for the occasion! 1.3438 0.04611 160 114 37 9
693 Well, I wasn't a standout, but I stood out. 1.3438 0.05810 128 97 18 13
694 so, you’re okay with my checkered past? 1.3438 0.05019 160 119 27 14
695 I didn't realize Grandma would be so angry about the quilt. 1.3436 0.05028 163 122 26 15
696 I'm looking for a Mr. Mondrian. 1.3435 0.05501 131 97 23 11
697 I blame Zoom 1.3435 0.05711 131 99 19 13
698 Red isn't the only color bulls hate. 1.3434 0.04433 198 146 36 16
699 I could hurry back and get something more suitable 1.3434 0.04134 198 141 46 11
700 I'd love to show you the matching jacket if you don't mind sending me back down to grab it. 1.3434 0.04658 166 120 35 11
701 What if I tell you I saw a camel pass through the eye of a needle? 1.3434 0.04736 166 121 33 12
702 Boogie fever. Turns out it was fatal. 1.3433 0.04867 134 94 34 6
703 I told my wife the pants she picked out would be the death of me. 1.3433 0.05201 134 97 28 9
704 Waldo, I presume? 1.3429 0.05438 140 105 22 13
705 It was a closed casket funeral. 1.3429 0.04620 140 97 38 5
706 In my defense, .... I played golf. 1.3429 0.04508 140 96 40 4
707 Would paisley have been better? 1.3427 0.05354 143 107 23 13
708 I know what your used to, but at the Pearly Gates, we don't do Zoom. 1.3425 0.04998 146 106 30 10
709 This is not what I meant by joyful noise 1.3425 0.04902 146 105 32 9
710 No, I don’t have any regrets. 1.3425 0.05091 146 107 28 11
711 Have you seen my coat of many colors? 1.3421 0.04860 152 110 32 10
712 Well, I did take His name in vain after I missed the hole-in-one. Other than that, I can't think of any. 1.3419 0.04966 155 114 29 12
713 Sooner or later, we all have to answer for our fashion choices. 1.3419 0.04617 155 110 37 8
714 Satan took one look and sent me back here, that's why! 1.3418 0.04816 158 115 32 11
715 All your sins will be forgiven....except those pants. 1.3418 0.04816 158 115 32 11
716 It was laundry day. 1.3416 0.04048 161 109 49 3
717 Really. I was thinking more of a faux pas than a fashion sin. 1.3416 0.04835 161 118 31 12
718 I was golfing when you made the call. 1.3416 0.04194 202 146 43 13
719 The matching dreamcoat was at the cleaners when you summoned me. 1.3415 0.04693 164 119 34 11
720 Where you're going, 'happy pants' won't make a difference. 1.3413 0.05305 126 91 27 8
721 Why not? I got into Yale! 1.3411 0.05103 129 92 30 7
722 I wanted to make a strong first impression. 1.3410 0.04216 173 121 45 7
723 You mean fashion sins count? 1.3407 0.05169 135 98 28 9
724 You'll have to forgive me; I dressed for Purgatory 1.3406 0.05294 138 102 25 11
725 I thought I'd live a little. 1.3406 0.04769 138 97 35 6
726 ..er..is Purgatory still open? 1.3406 0.05294 138 102 25 11
727 I don’t suppose you have anything matching in a 42 short 1.3404 0.05214 141 104 26 11
728 Be an angel and change those pants. 1.3404 0.05116 141 103 28 10
729 Oh, yeah? But a dreamcoat was fine? 1.3403 0.05322 144 108 23 13
730 I was told I look like Hell but I thought I’d try here first. 1.3403 0.05136 144 106 27 11
731 Why yes, I do have a checkered past, why do you ask? 1.3399 0.04921 153 112 30 11
732 Okay,so I had a checkered past. 1.3399 0.05008 153 113 28 12
733 My wife talked me out of the paisley shirt. Be sure to log that. 1.3396 0.04873 159 117 30 12
734 Due to high demand in the fashionista section,we can only place you with the clown golfers . 1.3395 0.04479 162 115 39 8
735 Plead to get in?! I thought they said, ‘Plaid to get in!’ 1.3391 0.05778 115 85 21 9
736 I'll admit, it's not the most intelligent design. 1.3391 0.05508 115 83 25 7
737 Harley. Harley Quinn. 1.3391 0.04856 174 131 27 16
738 I see you have a checkered past 1.3390 0.05674 118 87 22 9
739 The good news first? The pants can stay. 1.3390 0.04660 177 131 32 14
740 You didn't have a problem with Joseph's amazing technicolor dreamcoat. 1.3390 0.04449 177 128 38 11
741 Hi, I’m back. Satan said they clashed with his decor. 1.3388 0.05696 121 90 21 10
742 But, why are golfers only admitted downstairs? 1.3387 0.05478 124 91 24 9
743 I have a reservation under 'Rubik". 1.3386 0.05614 127 95 21 11
744 Actually, that’s the least of my sins. 1.3386 0.05387 127 93 25 9
745 My wife’s revenge. 1.3385 0.05520 130 97 22 11
746 I thought the judging would end when I got here. 1.3383 0.05431 133 99 23 11
747 I never thought I’d make it here or I would have worn a suit and tie. 1.3382 0.05738 136 105 16 15
748 How was I supposed to know clown pants are a mortal sin? 1.3381 0.05360 139 104 23 12
749 Do you have early tee times? 1.3381 0.05060 139 101 29 9
750 So, your wife is a quilter? 1.3380 0.05278 142 106 24 12
751 My wife assured me there was now way in hell I could wear these pants. 1.3380 0.05464 142 108 20 14
752 In those pants? Don’t even think about it. 1.3379 0.05012 145 106 29 10
753 Of course I’d die on laundry day… 1.3379 0.05380 145 110 21 14
754 Oh, yeah...well your robe isn't exactly haute couture either! 1.3378 0.04847 148 107 32 9
755 A fashion crime is not exactly a sin. 1.3377 0.04627 154 110 36 8
756 Yes, my life was checkered. 1.3377 0.04894 154 113 30 11
757 I thought this was a judgment free zone. 1.3374 0.04623 163 118 35 10
758 Is it too late to make a return?” 1.3374 0.04940 163 122 27 14
759 At least I’m wearing some. 1.3373 0.04234 166 116 44 6
760 I'm hoping the pants get me sympathy points. 1.3371 0.04016 175 121 49 5
761 Yes, your pants are very nice. But we still require a jacket. 1.3371 0.04695 175 130 31 14
762 I’m ready to show my true colors. 1.3371 0.04054 178 124 48 6
763 Pearly gates? Angels? No, wrong cloud buddy, we do data storage here. 1.3370 0.04650 181 135 31 15
764 Access denied, smarty pants. 1.3363 0.05567 113 82 24 7
765 I didn’t ask to be color blind. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
766 The scripture said ‘comfy casual.’ 1.3361 0.05411 122 89 25 8
767 I see you’ve had a colorful and checkered past. 1.3361 0.05473 122 92 20 10
768 What do you mean 'go back and change'? 1.3360 0.05441 125 92 24 9
769 Joseph and my pants of many colors. 1.3359 0.05351 128 94 25 9
770 I mean, the pants alone are enough to keep you out of here. 1.3358 0.05074 134 97 29 8
771 Getting kind of a judgy vibe from you right now, to be honest. 1.3358 0.05499 134 101 21 12
772 God forbid I bring a little pizzazz to this place. 1.3358 0.05074 134 97 29 8
773 You’re laughing but these pants got triple digit likes. 1.3358 0.04835 137 100 29 8
774 Well, I don't think they're hellish-looking at all. 1.3358 0.05411 137 103 22 12
775 I had always heard that dead men don't wear plaid. 1.3357 0.05327 140 105 23 12
776 My granddaughter thinks they're dope. 1.3357 0.05029 140 102 29 9
777 You can’t possibly think I could have committed adultery even if I tried. 1.3357 0.04926 140 101 31 8
778 I thought this meeting would be on Zoom. 1.3357 0.04957 143 104 30 9
779 And they say you can't take it with you! 1.3356 0.05169 146 109 25 12
780 Single, but I'm willing to be part of a foursome. 1.3356 0.04689 146 104 35 7
781 I’m sorry, it was laundry day… 1.3356 0.04627 149 106 36 7
782 Sorry, I didn't have time to change. 1.3355 0.04662 152 109 35 8
783 Just because of these pants? 1.3355 0.04602 155 111 36 8
784 Can I get multicolored wings? 1.3355 0.04781 155 113 32 10
785 I just happened to die on casual friday 1.3354 0.04740 161 118 32 11
786 I've never been sure about reincarnation, but yes, I was hoping you'd tell me to go back and change. 1.3353 0.04716 170 126 31 13
787 Couldn't you have waited a couple of minutes? I was about to make par for the first time. 1.3351 0.04310 185 134 40 11
788 Sorry - those are unforgivable. 1.3333 0.04954 162 122 26 14
789 Is that what you want to wear for eternity? 1.3333 0.05043 135 98 29 8
790 A vote against me is a vote against my mother. 1.3333 0.04424 186 137 36 13
791 But I cured three diseases and gave millions to charity. 1.3333 0.05248 123 89 27 7
792 They wouldn't take me in Hell. 1.3333 0.05106 162 124 22 16
793 Is is the pants? I'll change! 1.3333 0.05177 138 102 26 10
794 Is it okay if my caddie joins me? 1.3333 0.04885 150 110 30 10
795 They said there was golf. 1.3333 0.04841 156 115 30 11
796 Luckily your wife is not the authority on what is and is not a mortal sin. 1.3333 0.05616 123 92 21 10
797 I was told to "Come as you are". 1.3333 0.04762 147 106 33 8
798 Sorry, I thought it said checkered past. 1.3333 0.04467 171 124 37 10
799 If they're a problem I can lose the pants. 1.3333 0.05164 126 91 28 7
800 Please reserve judgement until I get changed. 1.3333 0.04608 159 115 35 9
801 I was assuming Paradise would involve golf. 1.3333 0.05151 135 99 27 9
802 I believe the penalty for going out of bounds is merely stroke and distance. 1.3333 0.04988 123 87 31 5
803 The shirt is sackcloth 1.3333 0.05539 129 97 21 11
804 I hit a killer drive. 1.3333 0.05215 144 108 24 12
805 They’re stained glass. 1.3333 0.05341 132 98 24 10
806 Excuse me. I'm looking for my foursome. Isn't this the first hole? 1.3315 0.04627 178 133 31 14
807 I was summoned unexpectedly. 1.3314 0.04498 169 123 36 10
808 ''A dress code? Are you serious.'' 1.3313 0.04752 160 118 31 11
809 I see you have quite the checkered past. 1.3312 0.04519 154 110 37 7
810 So they're not a SIN but you're going to have to change before you can visit the restaurant 1.3312 0.04880 154 114 29 11
811 My wife bet me you’d send me back to change my pants. 1.3311 0.04925 148 109 29 10
812 Lucky for you She’s color blind. 1.3311 0.04925 148 109 29 10
813 Was it really necessary to take me on the 17th hole? 1.3310 0.04596 145 103 36 6
814 Nobody told me that fashion sins count. 1.3310 0.04800 145 105 32 8
815 Heaven doesn’t mean no dress code. 1.3310 0.05184 145 109 24 12
816 Don we now our gay apparel.” 1.3310 0.04996 145 107 28 10
817 God is love, and love is blind... fortunately. 1.3310 0.05069 142 105 27 10
818 Someone once told me that they wouldn't be caught dead in these pants, yet here I am. 1.3309 0.05721 139 109 14 16
819 I was hoping I could take them with me. 1.3309 0.04722 139 99 34 6
820 I stored my pictures in the cloud,and now I can't find them. 1.3309 0.05528 136 104 19 13
821 It just wouldn't be Heaven without my lucky pants. 1.3308 0.05517 133 101 20 12
822 At least you're wearing pants. Go to heaven, son. 1.3307 0.05130 127 92 28 7
823 Used car salesman ... take the elevator down. 1.3306 0.05213 124 90 27 7
824 I thought these might cheer Him up. 1.3305 0.05457 118 89 20 9
825 It was a fashion crime, not a sin! 1.3304 0.05757 115 86 20 9
826 Until just a minute ago I was the life of the party. 1.3303 0.05538 109 79 24 6
827 Lucky for you, sins against fashion don't count. 1.3296 0.04536 179 133 33 13
828 Actually, I’m just here to see Joseph. 1.3294 0.04777 170 128 28 14
829 Yes. I was the inventor of the Rubik's Cube. Is that a devilish crime? 1.3293 0.04530 167 122 35 10
830 Saint Peter? I was looking for Saint Andrew. 1.3293 0.04586 164 120 34 10
831 They got me into Mar-a-Lago. 1.3290 0.04939 155 116 27 12
832 No jacket no entry? I gave the jacket to Joseph! 1.3290 0.04853 155 115 29 11
833 No, I said I regretted my checkered PAST 1.3289 0.04920 152 113 28 11
834 Can you believe the pants my wife picked out for my funeral? I told her you can dress me over my dead body. 1.3289 0.04830 152 112 30 10
835 Proof I lived every day like it was my last. 1.3289 0.04708 149 108 33 8
836 It appears these are now my unlucky pants. 1.3288 0.05153 146 110 24 12
837 Can you look again? They said I'd be on the list. 1.3287 0.04940 143 105 29 9
838 My wife was blind with grief. 1.3286 0.05311 140 106 22 12
839 Do what you will. I made my choices. 1.3285 0.05087 137 101 27 9
840 Does playing in charity golf tournaments count? 1.3284 0.05165 134 99 26 9
841 Did you happen to see my ball? 1.3284 0.05056 134 98 28 8
842 Ah yes, lighting on the golf course. Welcome. 1.3282 0.05358 131 98 23 10
843 Cause I owe my soul to the company store. 1.3281 0.05216 128 94 26 8
844 I get the feeling that your Sunday mornings weren’t spent in church 1.3279 0.05985 122 95 14 13
845 Wrong vibe?” 1.3277 0.05737 119 90 19 10
846 A bit judge-y,don’t you think? 1.3277 0.05217 119 86 27 6
847 It was a golf cart. I thought it was safe to text. 1.3275 0.04454 171 125 36 10
848 Can I take a mulligan? 1.3273 0.04138 165 116 44 5
849 I've smited people for lesser sins than those pants. 1.3273 0.05792 110 82 20 8
850 I know the book says now is my time, but can I get a few more months? Sweater weather is my jam. 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
851 What if I go home and change real quick? 1.3273 0.06073 110 84 16 10
852 I was on the golf course. 1.3272 0.04451 162 117 37 8
853 I had always thought these were my lucky pants. 1.3272 0.04620 162 119 33 10
854 It wouldn't be heaven without my favorite pair of pants. 1.3269 0.04740 156 115 31 10
855 Any chance on matching wings? 1.3269 0.05707 104 76 22 6
856 Try the other gate. They're color-blind. 1.3269 0.04652 156 114 33 9
857 Like I said to my wife, I'd rather go to hell than to give up these pants 1.3268 0.04713 153 112 32 9
858 You look angry.. it's the pants isn't it? 1.3268 0.04892 153 114 28 11
859 Next! 1.3267 0.06151 101 76 17 8
860 It's not the pants, it's that you played golf every Sunday. 1.3267 0.06465 101 78 13 10
861 Well then sir I believe then that “two” terrible mistakes have been made. 1.3267 0.04777 150 110 31 9
862 Better than a checkered past. 1.3265 0.04745 147 107 32 8
863 Isn't it Casual Eternity? 1.3264 0.05292 144 110 21 13
864 So maybe these weren’t the best pants to jaywalk in. 1.3262 0.04827 141 105 27 9
865 I didn't think you'd hold my checkered pants against me. 1.3262 0.05083 141 105 26 10
866 Turns out these pants really were to die for. 1.3261 0.04950 138 101 29 8
867 Joseph recommended them. 1.3261 0.05056 138 102 27 9
868 Yes, those pants are technically a sin. 1.3259 0.04563 135 95 36 4
869 But you HAVE to let me in. Hell already rejected me. 1.3258 0.05536 132 101 19 12
870 So, I had a checkered past 1.3256 0.05410 129 97 22 10
871 They’re tucked into my socks, which I suppose is another sin. 1.3256 0.05181 129 95 26 8
872 Sir, these are go to hell pants. 1.3256 0.04508 172 127 34 11
873 You think you're so high and mighty! 1.3254 0.05837 126 98 15 13
874 But are they a Cardinal sin? 1.3252 0.05353 123 91 24 8
875 When I got dressed, obviously I had no idea today would be the day. 1.3252 0.05714 123 94 18 11
876 Funny you should ask... yes, I did forget my clubs. 1.3250 0.05817 120 92 17 11
877 Just point me to the first tee, and I'll take it from there. 1.3250 0.04482 160 116 36 8
878 I admit to checkered pants, not a checkered past. 1.3250 0.05314 120 88 25 7
879 I thought eternal rest meant that I should wear my jammies. 1.3248 0.04714 157 116 31 10
880 You sure know how to stand out in a cloud. 1.3248 0.05268 117 85 26 6
881 Does it matter that I got them at Goodwill? 1.3248 0.04830 117 82 32 3
882 They didn't accept me down there either. 1.3248 0.05540 117 87 22 8
883 Of all the days to wear these pants… 1.3246 0.05212 114 82 27 5
884 Can I come back later ? 1.3246 0.05359 114 83 25 6
885 Finally - it took these pants for you to notice me! 1.3245 0.04932 151 113 27 11
886 I thought you'd be bigger 1.3241 0.05858 108 81 19 8
887 So I'm colorblind. Is that a sin? 1.3238 0.05496 105 76 24 5
888 Yes, I did die while golfing. What gave it away? 1.3238 0.05327 105 75 26 4
889 I thought you told me to rejoice and be plaid. 1.3237 0.05424 139 107 19 13
890 Dress code? That wasn’t in the brochure… 1.3237 0.05025 139 103 27 9
891 Huh. I guess you *were* caught dead in those pants. 1.3237 0.05076 139 106 22 11
892 First a hole-in-one and then I get hit by lightning. What are the odds? 1.3235 0.04993 136 100 28 8
893 I guess you killed at Fashion Week? 1.3235 0.05206 136 102 24 10
894 Nobody mentioned a dress code. 1.3233 0.05179 133 99 25 9
895 So, where is everybody? 1.3233 0.05179 133 99 25 9
896 Target, $22.95 -- 1.3228 0.04985 127 92 29 6
897 Another fashion casualty 1.3228 0.05021 158 121 23 14
898 I always heard it as Gloria in excessive Day-Glo. 1.3226 0.05674 124 95 18 11
899 Well, you didn't give time to change. 1.3226 0.05316 124 92 24 8
900 Is there any wiggle room on the white gown policy? 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
901 I knew this would happen if my wife caught me with these on 1.3226 0.04924 155 117 26 12
902 The last thing I remember, I raised my hand in favor of impeachment. 1.3226 0.04838 155 116 28 11
903 Saint Peter, not all of the questionable choices in my life can be judged as black or white. 1.3226 0.04998 124 92 25 7
904 So is it a sin to be color blind? 1.3224 0.04992 152 115 25 12
905 I'd like to make clear, I didn't have a chance to dress myself 1.3221 0.04787 149 110 30 9
906 Nobody told me about a dress code. 1.3221 0.04692 149 109 32 8
907 The name's Rubik. 1.3220 0.05367 118 87 24 7
908 There once was a young man from Natchez Whose pants were covered with patches When comments arose On the state of his cloths He smiled, "When I itches, I scratches." 1.3220 0.05230 118 86 26 6
909 Who are you to judge?! 1.3219 0.04950 146 109 27 10
910 Am I here cause of the pants? 1.3219 0.04755 146 107 31 8
911 I never wanted to be caught dead in these pants. 1.3217 0.05319 115 84 25 6
912 I was just saying I have as much of a chance of making a hole in one as I have of being struck by lightning! 1.3217 0.05733 115 87 19 9
913 It wouldn't be heaven without my comfy pants. 1.3217 0.05599 115 86 21 8
914 I heard the dress code was "golf casual" 1.3214 0.05096 140 105 25 10
915 I didn't expect Judgment Day to include my wardrobe choices. 1.3214 0.04874 168 129 24 15
916 I want to be reincarnated as a Rubik's Cube. 1.3214 0.05196 140 106 23 11
917 Can I join a foursome? 1.3214 0.05096 140 105 25 10
918 Yes, but when I said I'd wouldn't be caught dead in a pair of pants like these . . . 1.3212 0.05069 137 102 26 9
919 Well, it's a cold day in hell so here I am. 1.3212 0.05377 137 105 20 12
920 I am soooo ready for the rapture ! 1.3211 0.06097 109 84 15 10
921 All I said was that I could die for some new color in my wardrobe. 1.3209 0.04808 134 97 31 6
922 Yes, I know but I have clean underwear. 1.3209 0.04923 134 98 29 7
923 They were the style in Palm Beach when I croaked . 1.3209 0.05036 134 99 27 8
924 I'd like to take a Mulligan. 1.3209 0.05036 134 99 27 8
925 Haven’t you got the memo? 1.3209 0.04569 134 95 35 4
926 Yes sir, I did join QAnon, I thought it was Quilters Anonymous! 1.3209 0.05464 134 103 19 12
927 Are you saying that I have to wear these pants for the entire afterlife 1.3206 0.04998 131 96 28 7
928 Pretty sure it's "Passion" of the Christ, not "Fashion." 1.3206 0.05114 131 97 26 8
929 Ok Rubik, solve your pants in 15 seconds and you get in. 1.3203 0.05312 128 96 23 9
930 I think you know why I can't let you in. 1.3200 0.05634 125 96 18 11
931 Don’t worry, everyone who made fun of them went to the other place.” 1.3200 0.06176 100 76 16 8
932 Right, I'll see myself out. 1.3200 0.05518 125 95 20 10
933 I’ve been expecting this since 1973. 1.3200 0.04136 175 126 42 7
934 Dr. Rubik. I just have one question. 1.3200 0.06010 100 75 18 7
935 Was sort of hoping to get a mulligan. 1.3200 0.05400 125 94 22 9
936 Yes, I swore I wouldn't be caught dead in these pants. 1.3200 0.06495 100 78 12 10
937 Surely you can forgive crimes against fashion. 1.3197 0.05368 122 91 23 8
938 Who died and made you the fashion police? 1.3197 0.05368 122 91 23 8
939 In my defense, it wasn't made clear to me that these pants were that specific type of 'abomination.' 1.3197 0.05368 122 91 23 8
940 No,I don’t make balloon animals. 1.3197 0.05109 122 89 27 6
941 If you want to stay, you're going to have to tone it down. 1.3196 0.05589 97 70 23 4
942 I didn't have time to change. Don't judge me. 1.3194 0.04893 144 107 28 9
943 Regarding the commandments; is 7 out to 10 a passing score? 1.3193 0.04683 166 125 29 12
944 Oh, these. Heart attack, seventeenth tee box. 1.3191 0.05065 141 106 25 10
945 Distracting me won’t work. 1.3191 0.04755 141 103 31 7
946 Looks like you died in clothes you wouldn't be caught dead in. 1.3190 0.05821 116 89 17 10
947 I'm sorry. I just dropped dead on the fourteenth hole! 1.3190 0.04598 116 83 30 3
948 I plaid guilty! 1.3188 0.05037 138 103 26 9
949 "I'd kill for those pants." 1.3188 0.04598 138 99 34 5
950 Since when did plaid become a mortal sin? 1.3186 0.05659 113 85 20 8
951 Frankly, I'm used to this. Every day has been judgement day 1.3185 0.05325 135 103 21 11
952 Sorry: it's your checkered past! 1.3185 0.04242 157 112 40 5
953 I’ll give you a pass on the pants but I’m also going to revise our “Come as you are” policy. 1.3182 0.05620 110 82 21 7
954 Well, sometimes the golf score was not exactly accurate! 1.3182 0.04486 154 112 35 7
955 Don’t suppose you saw a golf ball pass by? 1.3182 0.04727 132 95 32 5
956 I said I wouldn’t be caught dead in these pants—but I guess I was. 1.3178 0.05276 129 97 23 9
957 You do realize that it's after Labor Day. 1.3178 0.05160 129 96 25 8
958 Death, be not loud 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
959 Yes, I know I’ve had a checkered past. 1.3176 0.04701 148 109 31 8
960 You of all people should know that I'm colorblind! 1.3175 0.05121 126 93 26 7
961 No, no, my PAST wasn't checkered... 1.3174 0.04659 167 126 29 12
962 Yes sir. I promise I’ll change. 1.3172 0.04864 145 108 28 9
963 I lost a bet.” 1.3171 0.05330 123 92 23 8
964 Appropriate attire is required. 1.3169 0.04620 142 103 33 6
965 Oh no! Not with those pants. 1.3169 0.04832 142 105 29 8
966 Nobody told me there was a dress code. 1.3169 0.04832 142 105 29 8
967 Ironically, I've never felt more alive than when I'm wearing these pants 1.3168 0.06282 101 78 14 9
968 They may have gotten you into Princeton, but those pants will NOT get you into Heaven! 1.3167 0.04277 180 133 37 10
969 Lose the pants and we'll talk... 1.3165 0.04793 139 102 30 7
970 I don't think I appreciate your attitude 1.3165 0.05109 139 105 24 10
971 The problem is your checkered past, not your checkered pants 1.3165 0.04901 139 103 28 8
972 I’d like a 10 a. m. tee time. 1.3162 0.05100 117 85 27 5
973 Surely I get some brownie points for wearing this gift from my kids. 1.3162 0.05100 117 85 27 5
974 These are my good-luck pants. 1.3162 0.04633 136 98 33 5
975 Maybe, but if you ask me, eternity in these pants is going to be hell. 1.3162 0.04973 136 101 27 8
976 Well, I have what I like to call a 'fun side' 1.3158 0.04574 133 95 34 4
977 Hole eight was a killer. 1.3158 0.04697 133 96 32 5
978 Casual Friday...sorry 1.3158 0.04934 133 98 28 7
979 We don’t offer mulligans. 1.3158 0.05476 114 85 22 7
980 Sorry, you need a jacket and tie. . . 1.3158 0.05333 114 84 24 6
981 Delighted to see you Mr Rubik. 1.3158 0.04817 133 97 30 6
982 Lucky for you, bad taste in clothing is technically not a SIN... 1.3158 0.04613 152 112 32 8
983 Yes, I do play golf. Why do you ask? 1.3158 0.04518 152 111 34 7
984 I hope it's Casual Friday. 1.3155 0.04479 168 125 33 10
985 C'mon crimes against fashion? 1.3154 0.05126 130 97 25 8
986 Ok. Yes. I coveted a whole in one. 1.3154 0.05009 130 96 27 7
987 Any other indiscretions? 1.3154 0.04888 130 95 29 6
988 The last thing I heard my wife say was 'Are you going out with those pants?' 1.3154 0.05126 130 97 25 8
989 You would have said yes in the 60s. 1.3153 0.05721 111 84 19 8
990 She told the undertaker, "At least I'm gonna make him wear them once!" 1.3153 0.06136 111 87 13 11
991 I was murdered by the fashion police. 1.3152 0.06169 92 69 17 6
992 It's the shirt, isn't it. 1.3152 0.06545 92 71 13 8
993 I hope my taste in clothing won't count against me, Saint Peter. In my defense, I was hit by lightning on the golf course and didn't expect to meet someone of your stature today. 1.3151 0.04636 146 107 32 7
994 Looks like your wife finally figured out how to get rid of those pants. 1.3150 0.05208 127 95 24 8
995 I was hoping for a Mulligan. 1.3150 0.05087 127 94 26 7
996 Where in Hell did you get those pants? 1.3150 0.04962 127 93 28 6
997 I was told casual is fine. 1.3150 0.05208 127 95 24 8
998 I bet you're used to seeing pajamas, right? 1.3148 0.04420 162 119 35 8
999 I thought your invite said come as you are. 1.3145 0.05535 124 95 19 10
1000 I ordered an Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, but I got these. 1.3145 0.05416 124 94 21 9
1001 And my wife said I would go to Hell if I ever wore these pants. 1.3143 0.05120 105 75 27 3
1002 Really, I didn't mean to die in these pants 1.3143 0.04871 140 104 28 8
1003 Even I haven't seen those pants before. 1.3140 0.05253 121 90 24 7
1004 Wearing these pants should be enough punishment. 1.3139 0.04720 137 100 31 6
1005 Uh...it's after Labor Day? 1.3139 0.04942 137 102 27 8
1006 Does Joseph abide by this dress code, too? 1.3139 0.04942 137 102 27 8
1007 What Password? 1.3136 0.05064 118 86 27 5
1008 I think you might enjoy meeting Piet. 1.3136 0.05342 118 88 23 7
1009 No. A dress code? 1.3134 0.05235 134 102 22 10
1010 On earth I always thought these pants were gray 1.3134 0.04903 134 99 28 7
1011 Can I get matching wings? 1.3133 0.04743 150 112 29 9
1012 I worked from home. 1.3133 0.04836 150 113 27 10
1013 I have a feeling that I'm not in Kansas anymore. 1.3130 0.05147 115 84 26 5
1014 Too much? 1.3130 0.04734 131 95 31 5
1015 Uh-oh! These are my go to hell pants! 1.3130 0.04857 131 96 29 6
1016 Uh, I thought this was going to be a zoom meeting. 1.3130 0.05428 131 101 19 11
1017 Table for one. 1.3129 0.04998 147 112 24 11
1018 Checking in. 1.3125 0.04673 128 92 32 4
1019 Should I have worn the matching sweater? 1.3125 0.04803 128 93 30 5
1020 Okay sure, but they’re not a sin. 1.3125 0.04738 128 95 27 6
1021 Bad taste is not a sin. 1.3125 0.04623 160 120 30 10
1022 She said she'd kill me if I wore these to her mother's funeral. 1.3125 0.05817 112 86 17 9
1023 I can see how the driver that ran me over got confused at the traffic light. 1.3125 0.05518 128 99 18 11
1024 I got hit by a car at the Pride March. 1.3125 0.04774 144 107 29 8
1025 I was told it would be black tie optional 1.3125 0.05291 128 97 22 9
1026 Did Satan put you up to this? 1.3125 0.05533 112 84 21 7
1027 I have checkered pants not past! 1.3120 0.05257 125 94 23 8
1028 Thank God, I've been in purgatory since the 80s 1.3120 0.05257 125 94 23 8
1029 Isn't saving anyone else from having to wear it a 'good deed' enough? 1.3119 0.05164 109 79 26 4
1030 It appears your family got the last laugh. 1.3116 0.04802 138 102 29 7
1031 What? They're my pickleball pants. 1.3115 0.05216 122 91 24 7
1032 The coat was a hit, the pants… 1.3115 0.05216 122 91 24 7
1033 No one here has seen your ball either. 1.3111 0.04872 135 100 28 7
1034 This is Heaven, not a country club! 1.3111 0.04984 135 101 26 8
1035 Surely, you can’t expect to meet him in those pants. 1.3111 0.04518 135 97 34 4
1036 I’m looking for more pizazz in the afterlife. 1.3111 0.04872 135 100 28 7
1037 Check again under “Never married.” 1.3109 0.05436 119 90 21 8
1038 I didn't think I would be here today. May I go back and change into a suit and tie? 1.3108 0.04683 148 110 30 8
1039 I was on the back nine. 1.3108 0.04780 148 111 28 9
1040 I saw them in the stained glass window and just had to have them. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
1041 My wife thinks it’s funny. 1.3106 0.05060 132 99 25 8
1042 I was the first to be sentenced under President Anna Wintour’s three strikes policy. 1.3106 0.05392 132 102 19 11
1043 My departed wife has the matching top. 1.3103 0.05110 116 85 26 5
1044 I died in my sleep. 1.3103 0.05797 116 90 16 10
1045 Dress code? Seriously?! 1.3103 0.05532 116 88 20 8
1046 I was his second favorite son. 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1047 Yes, looking back, I now realize that it was an egregious mistake -- but can you cut me some slacks? 1.3103 0.05532 116 88 20 8
1048 Don’t worry, we have you listed as being colorblind. 1.3103 0.05797 116 90 16 10
1049 Judge all you want, but I always dress for comfort. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1050 OMG! I can't remember why I came up here... 1.3103 0.05254 116 86 24 6
1051 Who are you to judge? Ok. Got it. 1.3103 0.04961 116 84 28 4
1052 I was just about to shoot par. 1.3101 0.04643 129 93 32 4
1053 Sadly, I also can't golf. 1.3101 0.05369 129 99 20 10
1054 Turns out it's a bad idea to play golf in a thunderstorm. 1.3101 0.05255 129 98 22 9
1055 Sorry, thanks to DeSantis, we're not taking Floridians this year. 1.3101 0.05138 129 97 24 8
1056 Really?! And what makes you "The Authority" on fashion? 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
1057 I was told to wear these even if it killed me. 1.3097 0.05491 113 85 21 7
1058 What do you mean it’s a sin to look this good? 1.3095 0.04972 126 93 27 6
1059 What? I work from home. 1.3094 0.04881 139 104 27 8
1060 What in God's name are you wearing? 1.3093 0.06448 97 76 12 9
1061 Sorry, but the rules are black and white. 1.3092 0.04499 152 112 33 7
1062 Mondrian has been looking for those pants. 1.3091 0.05285 110 81 24 5
1063 My wife insisted I could take them with me. 1.3091 0.05441 110 82 22 6
1064 They're amazing technicolor dreampants. 1.3089 0.05180 123 92 24 7
1065 In my defense, they were a gift. 1.3089 0.04708 123 91 27 5
1066 You’re not making it easy for me, Fred. 1.3089 0.05307 123 93 22 8
1067 To be fair, I died in the privacy of my own home. 1.3089 0.05431 123 94 20 9
1068 My wife made the reservation. 1.3087 0.04752 149 112 28 9
1069 I thought a bit of color might relieve the tension. 1.3087 0.04847 149 113 26 10
1070 We’ll your wife was right…not a chance! 1.3085 0.05863 94 70 19 5
1071 I was a country club Republican. 1.3084 0.05851 107 82 17 8
1072 Yes,I was on the thirteenth fairway when lightening struck. 1.3083 0.04552 120 85 33 2
1073 I refuse to re-pant. 1.3083 0.04912 133 99 27 7
1074 Then my wife said,"Would it kill you to wear something more colorful." 1.3083 0.04735 133 100 26 7
1075 I see you got Joseph's memo.... 1.3082 0.05010 146 112 23 11
1076 Tell Joseph I'm here, he knows me. 1.3082 0.04632 159 120 29 10
1077 Don't make me wear these for all eternity. 1.3077 0.04986 130 97 26 7
1078 I don't know, I thought the traffic would stop. 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1079 Fashion faux pas sinners need to report to cloud 9 for evaluation. 1.3077 0.04773 117 84 30 3
1080 Sorry, we have a dress code here. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1081 What, you have a dress code? 1.3071 0.05058 140 107 23 10
1082 She was serious when she said it would be the last time I wore these. 1.3071 0.05058 140 107 23 10
1083 I was told that every day is Casual Friday up here. 1.3071 0.04810 127 93 29 5
1084 See? Dead men CAN wear plaid; Martin & Reiner were WRONG! 1.3071 0.05304 127 97 21 9
1085 I have to let you in -- hell has a dress code 1.3071 0.05421 127 98 19 10
1086 Sorry, but I can’t hear you. Your pants are too loud.” 1.3069 0.05403 101 74 23 4
1087 Have you seen a little white ball go by? 1.3066 0.04811 137 102 28 7
1088 Stuart made it to heaven, despite his checkered pants. 1.3066 0.05340 137 107 18 12
1089 My golf partner lost his temper and here I am! 1.3063 0.05005 111 83 23 5
1090 The guy said, ' Your pants or your life! ' 1.3063 0.05836 111 86 16 9
1091 Duuude 1.3063 0.05548 111 84 20 7
1092 Can I still play through ? 1.3060 0.04994 134 101 25 8
1093 This is what you get when you don't give advance notice. 1.3058 0.05095 121 90 25 6
1094 My mom only told me clean underwear 1.3058 0.05358 121 92 21 8
1095 I dress for comfort, not for Judgement Day. 1.3058 0.05095 121 90 25 6
1096 If I’d known today was the day, I would have worn khakis. 1.3056 0.05652 108 82 19 7
1097 I didn't say I had a checkered past... 1.3053 0.04833 131 97 28 6
1098 Guess I just couldn’t leave my checkered past behind. 1.3053 0.04953 131 98 26 7
1099 Judgement day? My wife says I have no judgement. 1.3053 0.06000 95 72 17 6
1100 Peter, are we out of the white pajama bottoms? I mean…what the hell? 1.3052 0.04816 154 118 25 11
1101 I died on a Zoom call. 1.3051 0.05178 118 88 24 6
1102 I’m sure my lawyer will be here any minute. 1.3051 0.05178 118 88 24 6
1103 Did you call ahead or use the app? 1.3051 0.05178 118 88 24 6
1104 Is all white a strict dress code? 1.3051 0.05316 118 89 22 7
1105 My brother will be here shortly. You can't miss him. 1.3050 0.04381 141 102 35 4
1106 You’re not the fashion police. 1.3048 0.05434 105 78 22 5
1107 Sorry, we're only admitting people with untucked shirts. 1.3047 0.05029 128 96 25 7
1108 Sorry, we have a noise ordinance up here and buddy, those pants are just too loud. 1.3047 0.05384 128 99 19 10
1109 “What do you mean, dead men don’t wear plaid? 1.3046 0.04791 151 115 26 10
1110 This uniform’s a bit different than I expected. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1111 I lost the matching jacket on a trip to Egypt. 1.3040 0.05108 125 94 24 7
1112 In hindsight, wearing these to the running of the bulls was a miscalculation. 1.3040 0.05591 125 98 16 11
1113 In my defense...the devil made me do it. 1.3040 0.04980 125 93 26 6
1114 I'm Rubik. 1.3039 0.05877 102 78 17 7
1115 To hell with taste! 1.3038 0.04811 158 122 24 12
1116 Come on, Peter, even you can't deny these will liven up the place. 1.3037 0.04850 135 101 27 7
1117 This is unexpected. Someone told me I'd be going to Fashion Hell. 1.3036 0.04448 168 127 31 10
1118 Yeah, yeah...checkmate...very funny 1.3036 0.05505 112 85 20 7
1119 No. Those pants were a hell of a choice 1.3034 0.04727 145 109 28 8
1120 They said “come as you are” and I was golfing. 1.3032 0.04281 155 116 32 7
1121 but it was fine when joseph wore his technicolor dreamcoat 1.3032 0.04789 155 119 25 11
1122 Well, my grandkids loved them! 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1123 My bag of golf clubs got lost in transport? 1.3030 0.04802 132 98 28 6
1124 If Joseph and his dreamcoat can get in, then so should Alan and his polychrome pants." 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
1125 Please...no one would let me wear them down there 1.3028 0.04792 142 107 27 8
1126 Oh golly, I thought I'd found myself at the NY library. 1.3028 0.05607 109 83 19 7
1127 I can let you in,but you will be wearing those pants for all eternity. 1.3028 0.04878 109 81 24 4
1128 I knew I'd be judged for who I was, not what I wore. 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
1129 I lost the coat. 1.3028 0.05607 109 83 19 7
1130 Trust me, it's a typo. It's only my pants that are checkered. 1.3028 0.05295 109 81 23 5
1131 I’ve moved beyond my checkered past. 1.3026 0.04382 152 112 34 6
1132 I wore these to church every Sunday. 1.3025 0.05141 119 89 24 6
1133 I never told my wife I actually hated these trousers she made for me so she buried me in them. 1.3023 0.05233 129 99 21 9
1134 Do fashion offenses count? 1.3023 0.06631 86 67 12 7
1135 I'm afraid I've already been judged today. 1.3023 0.04747 129 95 29 5
1136 Have you seen my dream coat? 1.3022 0.04527 139 102 32 5
1137 Golf course, three clouds down. 1.3022 0.04641 139 103 30 6
1138 What do you mean, dress code? 1.3021 0.05155 96 69 25 2
1139 One too many jokes about my partner’s putting. 1.3020 0.04437 149 110 33 6
1140 No, I don't have a checkered past. 1.3019 0.04615 159 121 28 10
1141 Sorry, but golf is the Devil's creation. Next! 1.3019 0.05221 106 78 24 4
1142 I'd just prefer to keep them is all. 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
1143 Can't touch this. 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
1144 Just write: "He golfed." 1.3017 0.05368 116 88 21 7
1145 Well that doesn't seem fair. What If I agree to change my pants? 1.3017 0.04931 116 85 27 4
1146 I got the memo. 1.3017 0.04931 116 85 27 4
1147 I was told no pleats, no cut offs, no bell bottoms ... 1.3017 0.05368 116 88 21 7
1148 This isn’t a Walmart. 1.3017 0.05640 116 90 17 9
1149 It's wash day. 1.3014 0.04699 146 110 28 8
1150 At least I never wore white after Labor Day 1.3014 0.04597 146 109 30 7
1151 My wife dressed me. 1.3014 0.04597 146 109 30 7
1152 The 9th hole is murder 1.3013 0.04933 156 122 21 13
1153 Unfortunately, I did it my way 1.3010 0.05490 103 77 21 5
1154 I was aiming for a White Anglo-Saxon Penitent aesthetic. 1.3010 0.05661 103 78 19 6
1155 What are you? Fashion police? 1.3010 0.05661 103 78 19 6
1156 The last thing I remember was my wife saying, "I wouldn't be caught dead in those pants!" 1.3009 0.05606 113 87 18 8
1157 I thought I'd look festive. 1.3008 0.04889 123 91 27 5
1158 Do you have a Loaner Jacket? 1.3008 0.04889 123 91 27 5
1159 I did it my way. 1.3008 0.04771 133 99 28 6
1160 There isn’t a dress code but you’re pushing it.. 1.3008 0.04771 133 99 28 6
1161 Your place here will be next to Captian Underpants. 1.3007 0.04966 143 110 23 10
1162 Now?! I was 4 under par on the 18th hole. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1163 They’re that unforgivable? 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1164 I’m afraid that you’ll have to wait to get in until the rest of your foursome arrives. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1165 That's just what the horned guy said. "No way in hell" 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
1166 As I understand it, it's only a venial sin. 1.3000 0.05081 130 99 23 8
1167 So, about those words I used just after I missed that last putt... 1.3000 0.04965 120 89 26 5
1168 Christian Dior. Why do you ask? 1.3000 0.05371 120 92 20 8
1169 You’ll have to borrow one of our jackets to be seated. 1.3000 0.05038 140 108 22 10
1170 My wife kept the matching handbag. 1.2994 0.04290 167 125 34 8
1171 You mean you count Taste? 1.2993 0.04900 137 104 25 8
1172 I'm here to collect my jacket. A multicoloured houndstooth. The name's Joseph. 1.2993 0.05320 137 108 17 12
1173 So, I am okay to enter but not with these pants? 1.2992 0.04784 127 94 28 5
1174 Joseph,where’s the coat? 1.2991 0.05328 117 89 21 7
1175 I call them my technicolor dream pants. 1.2991 0.05328 117 89 21 7
1176 Waddya mean, no golfers? 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
1177 I have a reservation 1.2991 0.05180 107 79 24 4
1178 I acknowledge I've led a checkered past. 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
1179 My sins are not black and white either. 1.2984 0.04989 124 93 25 6
1180 I thought there might be some golf. 1.2984 0.05119 124 96 20 8
1181 Any chance I can get a mulligan? 1.2982 0.04814 114 83 28 3
1182 Now that I have your attention... 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1183 I mean, yeah, these pants might be pretty awful, but they're not a sin, right? 1.2980 0.04773 151 116 25 10
1184 Uh… No. 1.2975 0.05068 121 91 24 6
1185 I thought they said you had a "checkered past," not "checkered pants." 1.2975 0.05068 121 91 24 6
1186 Sorry we don’t accept golfers. 1.2975 0.05460 121 94 18 9
1187 I was in the crosswalk, and somehow traffic got confused. 1.2975 0.05068 121 90 24 6
1188 Reservations for Smith 1.2975 0.05202 121 92 22 7
1189 What kind of Heaven doesn't observe Casual Friday? 1.2975 0.05068 121 91 24 6
1190 I've been in limbo wondering whether or not to wear these. 1.2975 0.05202 121 92 22 7
1191 But I don’t idolize them, I swear. 1.2973 0.05519 111 85 19 7
1192 It's a long story. Got time? 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1193 I swore I’d never get caught dead in these pants, go figure. 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1194 Look,I wanted to go out in style. 1.2973 0.05368 111 84 21 6
1195 So I thought gold, frankincense and mirth. Right? So I went with mirth. 1.2973 0.05808 111 87 15 9
1196 I'm Protestant. May I still enter? 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1197 To hell with fashion! 1.2971 0.05185 138 108 19 11
1198 My name is Joseph and my brothers short-changed me. 1.2971 0.04413 138 101 33 4
1199 Gift or not, you’re the one who chose to wear them 1.2970 0.05894 101 78 16 7
1200 I can't wear a gown, that would look ridiculous. 1.2969 0.05126 128 98 22 8
1201 I had a hat. 1.2969 0.05005 128 97 24 7
1202 I think I’ll fit in here. 1.2969 0.04753 128 95 28 5
1203 Sorry, I didn't know you had a dress code. 1.2969 0.04880 128 96 26 6
1204 Sorry, but a monochrome heaven wasn't my idea of an afterlife. 1.2966 0.05289 118 90 21 7
1205 No plaid after Judgement Day? 1.2966 0.05150 118 89 23 6
1206 Well yes, I have had a checkered past. 1.2966 0.05008 118 88 25 5
1207 Go home and change first. 1.2966 0.04861 118 87 27 4
1208 No, you can't go back to Earth to change your pants. 1.2966 0.04706 145 110 27 8
1209 I was under the impression it was come as you are. 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
1210 Oh yes you CAN be judged for sartorial choices! 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
1211 Are my parents in there? Told them it was a bad idea to go to prep school 1.2963 0.04592 135 100 30 5
1212 Does the Gap Heaven carry those pants? 1.2963 0.04652 135 103 25 7
1213 Your trousers are "nice" as hell... 1.2963 0.04790 108 78 28 2
1214 My mother, why? 1.2963 0.05159 135 105 20 10
1215 I can’t seem to get rid of my colorful past… 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
1216 We already know about your checkered past. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
1217 So...when she said "You can't wear those to the dinner," you said "Watch me!" 1.2961 0.04652 152 116 27 9
1218 We do forgive a checkered past 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1219 I know you're omniscient but I just want to reiterate that they were made from eco-friendly materials. 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1220 Joseph, it was dream coat, not pants! 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1221 Let me guess, you died in your sleep. 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1222 So you're gonna send me to hell for these pants. huh? 1.2959 0.05657 98 74 19 5
1223 I'm afraid you've forced us to add Aesthetic Negligence as the 8th Deadly Sin. 1.2959 0.05840 98 75 17 6
1224 If you have cherubim and seraphim here surely you can make room for a harlequin? 1.2959 0.06190 98 77 13 8
1225 I was working from home when I died. 1.2959 0.05840 98 75 17 6
1226 Despite appearances I'm one of the meek and I now expect to inherit. 1.2958 0.04771 142 108 26 8
1227 You haven’t seen an amazing, technicolor, dream coat, laying around, have you? 1.2958 0.04771 142 108 26 8
1228 Really, this is my biggest sin. 1.2957 0.05236 115 87 22 6
1229 Yes, I knew it was after Labor Day. 1.2957 0.05236 115 87 22 6
1230 I didn’t think I’d be judged on this part. 1.2957 0.04449 115 82 32 1
1231 Just returning Joseph's pants. 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
1232 In case I get tossed out, these are Parachute Pants. 1.2952 0.05567 105 80 19 6
1233 They said go big or go home 1.2952 0.05730 105 81 17 7
1234 I heard I needed proof I was an Episcopalian 1.2952 0.05730 105 81 17 7
1235 I know,I know,my wife said the same thing 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
1236 But it’s from Lord & Tailored. 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
1237 Are you playing with a foursome or on your own? 1.2951 0.05294 122 94 20 8
1238 Where do I queue to see the Queen? 1.2951 0.05421 122 95 18 9
1239 True, St. Peter, but I never wore a plastic belt. 1.2950 0.04729 139 105 27 7
1240 You're not the Wizard, are you! 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
1241 I was hoping you had the day off. 1.2946 0.05016 112 83 25 4
1242 I’ll be damned. No one ever told me looking good was a sin. 1.2946 0.05174 112 84 23 5
1243 I did say I would rather be dead than to be caught in these. 1.2946 0.05327 112 85 21 6
1244 It was supposedly meant to be a short, open casket joke, not an eternal one. 1.2946 0.05476 112 86 19 7
1245 You thought "fashion crime" was only a metaphor? 1.2946 0.05476 112 86 19 7
1246 I just assumed there would be a golf course. 1.2946 0.04848 129 97 26 6
1247 I came all this way to find out there's a dress code to get in? 1.2946 0.04971 129 98 24 7
1248 We have relaxed our dress codes, but I still don't think you will get in. 1.2946 0.04721 129 96 28 5
1249 Exodus 28:42 says linen breeches to cover our nakedness. It doesn't say they have to be boring colors. 1.2946 0.04971 129 98 24 7
1250 Do these pants make my spirit look fat? 1.2946 0.05092 129 99 22 8
1251 OK? Really, God accepts plaid? 1.2945 0.04255 146 107 35 4
1252 I was not a golfer, but I was golf curious. 1.2945 0.04472 146 109 31 6
1253 For God'sake, do you have another pair of pants? 1.2945 0.04472 146 109 31 6
1254 Any chance I'm early? I'd like to change my pants first. 1.2941 0.05322 102 76 22 4
1255 I've got the 1:00 tee-time. 1.2941 0.04908 136 104 24 8
1256 I know, but they wouldn't take me. 1.2941 0.04908 136 104 24 8
1257 There’s a dress code?? 1.2941 0.05843 102 79 16 7
1258 And then when we tied on the 18th my wife said “honey, why don’t we play sudden death?” 1.2941 0.05113 119 90 23 6
1259 Sorry, but you caught me on the back nine. 1.2941 0.05250 119 91 21 7
1260 I didn't think I needed a tie. 1.2941 0.05250 119 91 21 7
1261 I wasn't sure what color went with pearly gates. 1.2941 0.05113 119 90 23 6
1262 Yes, you're on the list, but the pants need to go -- 1.2941 0.05384 119 92 19 8
1263 Surely crimes against fashion and good taste don't count?... 1.2937 0.04530 143 107 30 6
1264 Must I live with these pants for eternity? 1.2937 0.04921 126 95 25 6
1265 It's ironic that I got hit at a stoplight. 1.2937 0.05172 126 97 21 8
1266 If I had to do it all over, I’d get the matching shirt. 1.2937 0.04790 126 94 27 5
1267 But the salesperson insisted these pants were heavenly. 1.2937 0.05294 126 98 19 9
1268 Where I come from we have nine judges. 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1269 I didn't know there was a dress code. 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1270 They told me you’d be color blind. 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1271 Oh, it's you. Again, no change of pants, no service. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
1272 Sorry. Some fashion choices are just unforgivable. 1.2931 0.04900 116 86 26 4
1273 I went into a coma in the 80's. 1.2931 0.05197 116 88 22 6
1274 I was only on the 16th Tee 1.2931 0.05745 116 92 14 10
1275 Beau Brummell will be thrilled to finally have a friend. 1.2931 0.05478 116 90 18 8
1276 They're from the Joseph Collection over at Lord & Tailor. 1.2931 0.05874 116 93 12 11
1277 I see you've made a lot of bad choices... 1.2931 0.05478 116 90 18 8
1278 My wife told me that if I kept wearing these pants she'd smother me to death with a pillow. Well, here I am. 1.2931 0.05340 116 89 20 7
1279 Achem…. Oh great wise one….do you think Lily Pulitzer works for men, too? 1.2929 0.05607 99 75 19 5
1280 Normally I wouldn’t be seen dead wearing these 1.2929 0.05788 99 76 17 6
1281 My undertaker was a frenemy of mine. 1.2929 0.05788 99 76 17 6
1282 Sorry, I was really expecting this to happen over video chat. 1.2929 0.04914 140 108 23 9
1283 I am a puzzlement unto myself 1.2927 0.05128 123 94 22 7
1284 Excuse me, sir. for some reason, I went to Hell first. 1.2925 0.04340 147 109 33 5
1285 Technicolor dreamcoat, not pants! 1.2925 0.04827 106 77 27 2
1286 The shirt is to impress you and the pants were in case the shirt didn't help 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
1287 Let me guess, it was the pants? 1.2925 0.05522 106 81 19 6
1288 At least my lucky pants got me into heaven. 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
1289 Are you sure that's a commandment? 1.2923 0.04816 130 98 26 6
1290 I heard it wouldn't matter. The word was you were color blind. 1.2923 0.04938 130 99 24 7
1291 Yes, it's heaven but we still have standards. 1.2921 0.06231 89 69 14 6
1292 They were a gift from my wife. I wore them in public. Shouldn't I qualify for sainthood? 1.2920 0.05577 113 88 17 8
1293 Only God can judge me. 1.2920 0.04766 137 104 26 7
1294 No worries, I get it. 1.2920 0.04986 137 106 22 9
1295 Not with those pants you aren’t. 1.2920 0.04766 137 104 26 7
1296 Well, maybe I'm not a big fan of your outfit, either, God... 1.2917 0.06268 96 76 12 8
1297 Yeah, well you need a hair cut and a shave. 1.2917 0.04609 144 109 28 7
1298 The changing room is on the left. 1.2917 0.06091 96 75 14 7
1299 I always said if I could play golf every day, it would be like I died and went to heaven. 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
1300 Look under, "Clown, Chuckles". 1.2917 0.05908 96 74 16 6
1301 If someone says they don’t like my pants, can I still tell them to go to Hell? 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
1302 You haven't seen a small white ball anywhere, have you? 1.2917 0.05345 120 93 19 8
1303 Don’t be fooled by the pants. I can learn to adapt. 1.2917 0.04503 144 108 30 6
1304 Forgive me this sin. My wife picked them out. 1.2917 0.04792 120 89 27 4
1305 I'm hoping you have a golf course. 1.2913 0.04487 127 93 31 3
1306 Well, they weren’t a sin on Zoom. 1.2913 0.05137 127 98 21 8
1307 …and totally misjudged the stoplight. Did I mention I’m colorblind? 1.2913 0.04624 127 94 29 4
1308 It's not the pants I have an issue with . . . it's the crocs. 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
1309 My mother-in-law ... 1.2913 0.05627 103 81 15 7
1310 My apologies, I don’t happen to know any Josephs. 1.2913 0.05278 103 77 22 4
1311 They’re my Amazing Technicolor Dreamjammies. 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
1312 Congratulations, you are the first quilter today 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
1313 Is it true that only you can hit a one-iron? 1.2910 0.04834 134 102 25 7
1314 No, I was never a Picasso fan. More of a Rubik cubist 1.2910 0.04657 134 103 24 7
1315 The Bible doesn't say that they're a deadly sin. 1.2910 0.05061 134 104 21 9
1316 Welcome to heaven. Hmm, no social media accounts? You may come in. 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
1317 You'll never guess where I died. 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1318 Somebody else got the coat of many colors. 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1319 I would have preferred if it was before I bogeyed the 11th hole. 1.2909 0.04892 110 83 23 4
1320 Those pants are a sin I cannot forgive 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1321 My apologies - but we've already met our quota for golfers. 1.2908 0.04884 141 109 23 9
1322 Sorry we aren't judging pants today. 1.2908 0.04779 141 108 25 8
1323 How did you get out of purgatory wearing those? 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1324 In Hell? Wearing these? They’ll eat me alive! 1.2906 0.05300 117 90 20 7
1325 Where’s Mondrian? 1.2906 0.05829 117 94 12 11
1326 I don't see a 'Mr. Fancy Pants' anywhere here on this list. 1.2905 0.04623 148 113 27 8
1327 Are fashion crimes venial or mortal sins? 1.2903 0.06411 93 74 11 8
1328 I’ll need my good luck pants. 1.2903 0.04387 155 117 31 7
1329 I see it was laundry day. 1.2903 0.05092 124 95 22 7
1330 And who are YOU wearing? 1.2903 0.06226 93 73 13 7
1331 Okay, yes, I was a sinner. But, that's all in my checkered past. 1.2901 0.04660 131 98 28 5
1332 It says here you have a very checkered past. 1.2901 0.04125 131 94 36 1
1333 Most people would never be caught dead in pants like that! 1.2901 0.05252 131 103 18 10
1334 Where can I rent some clubs? 1.2900 0.06079 100 79 13 8
1335 Those pants aren't your biggest sin. 1.2900 0.04984 100 73 25 2
1336 And how do you plaid? 1.2899 0.04846 138 106 24 8
1337 I thought the pants of many colors might improve my chances. 1.2897 0.05145 107 80 23 4
1338 You see a Titleist 3? 1.2897 0.05313 107 81 21 5
1339 With an outfit like that heaven can wait 1.2897 0.05635 107 83 17 7
1340 'my wife said she'd kill me if I wore these to dinner again' 1.2897 0.05313 107 81 21 5
1341 Honest. I didn't know they were called 'go-to-hell' pants. 1.2895 0.04699 114 86 24 4
1342 I'm not believing the "they were a Christmas gift" excuse. 1.2895 0.05246 114 87 21 6
1343 I'm sorry. Some sins are unforgivable. 1.2895 0.05392 114 88 19 7
1344 I was just hoping to play through. 1.2895 0.04781 114 84 27 3
1345 Can you let Joseph know I'm finally here with his pants. 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
1346 I wanted to fit in with the loud trumpets. 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
1347 So you’re not letting me in because I’m colored? 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
1348 No, you may not play through” 1.2887 0.04853 142 110 23 9
1349 Oh, so heaven doesn't have casual Friday's huh 1.2887 0.04534 142 107 29 6
1350 I said 'I have a Czech past'. 1.2887 0.06035 97 76 14 7
1351 So who are you? The fashion police. 1.2887 0.05276 97 72 22 3
1352 So, did I pick a bad day to wear my "go to hell" pants, or what? 1.2885 0.04668 104 75 28 1
1353 Whdya mean you have a dress code in heaven? I was a clown on earth! 1.2885 0.05579 104 80 18 6
1354 Yes, they're in bad taste, but not sinfully so. 1.2885 0.05234 104 78 22 4
1355 Sure, but you're not asking about all the tax fraud, so my plan is working. 1.2883 0.05181 111 84 22 5
1356 I thought it would be business casual? 1.2883 0.05337 111 85 20 6
1357 Joseph got in with a “coat” of many colors. These will get you into a senior golf event. 1.2883 0.05337 111 85 20 6
1358 Dress code in heaven strictly enforced. You must RE-PANT and sin no more. 1.2883 0.05488 111 86 18 7
1359 Forgiveness for a checkered past, not checkered pants! 1.2883 0.05337 111 85 20 6
1360 I knew I would have to answer for my past, and these are my only fireproof pants. 1.2881 0.05529 118 93 16 9
1361 Did you really get those on sale? 1.2881 0.05396 118 92 18 8
1362 Whence Waldo? 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
1363 Does originality count for anything? 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
1364 You met Joseph earlier--he had the coat. 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
1365 Yeah, we know. You're on the Board at Choate. 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
1366 On the one hand, you've given millions to charities. On the other, there's the plaid . . . 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
1367 You look surprised. Is it the pants? 1.2879 0.04503 132 98 30 4
1368 Why are you sending me to Purgatory? 1.2879 0.04753 132 100 26 6
1369 My pastor never mentioned anything about a dress code. 1.2879 0.04990 132 102 22 8
1370 So, I didn't tip my Caddy! 1.2878 0.04816 139 107 24 8
1371 Did my lucky ball ever make it up here? 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
1372 My mother made them. 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
1373 You can take the elevator down to visit your tailor. 1.2871 0.05328 101 76 21 4
1374 There are eight deadly sins. 1.2871 0.05688 101 78 17 6
1375 Carts or caddies up here? 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1376 It's me--Joseph. I lost the matching dreamcoat. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1377 On the plus side, I ended at four under par 1.2870 0.05742 108 85 15 8
1378 Well, at least we'll be able to keep track of you in here. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1379 Um, this is awkward. It was laundry day. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1380 What do you mean by: "eternal life or the pants"? 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
1381 Is there golf 1.2870 0.05350 115 89 19 7
1382 It's spelling P-i-e-t M-o-n-d-r-i-a-n. 1.2870 0.05350 115 89 19 7
1383 I didn’t think New Yorker cartoons were in colour either, but here we are… 1.2870 0.05350 115 89 19 7
1384 I assumed everyone in heaven would be dressed like it's the 70s. 1.2869 0.05267 122 95 19 8
1385 Sorry, this is Cloud Nine. You are looking for the back nine. 1.2869 0.04866 122 92 25 5
1386 Who in God's name was your mortician? 1.2869 0.05004 122 93 23 6
1387 Why do you have to be so judgy?" 1.2868 0.04564 129 96 29 4
1388 Joseph had a coat of many colors so I thought..... 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
1389 You're telling me I can't come in wearing my " Go To Hell " pants ? 1.2867 0.04507 143 108 29 6
1390 Well, to be completely honest, you're lucky that fashion crimes don't count. 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1391 My wife liked to quilt, what can I say? 1.2857 0.04566 140 106 28 6
1392 No, I already told you my name is not 'SpongeBob'. 1.2857 0.05591 112 88 16 8
1393 Actually, they got a lot of compliments. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
1394 Don't tell me. You died while playing golf. 1.2857 0.04722 133 101 26 6
1395 Looks like my devil-may-care attitude worked out! 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
1396 I just discovered an eighth deadly sin. 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
1397 But Donald Trump told me that my Mar-a-Lago Golf Club membership opened the doors for me everywhere. 1.2857 0.06497 91 73 10 8
1398 No gates, huh? Yeah, this makes sense. 1.2857 0.05477 91 68 20 3
1399 No, Sir, these are not golf pants. These are ‘Sticky Notes’ my wife slapped on me when I left the house 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
1400 And what lesson did you take away from color theory class? 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
1401 I brought them for Joseph. Turns out we're the same size. 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
1402 Sorry. No one told me there was a dress code. 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
1403 Joe has my coat. 1.2857 0.05696 105 82 16 7
1404 Apparently, these are considered "gang colors" in Clown Town. 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
1405 I wasn't ready... 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
1406 I lost my coat of many colors, but I was hoping I could get in with just the pants. 1.2857 0.04630 147 113 26 8
1407 Nobody ever said anything about a dress code! 1.2857 0.04344 126 92 32 2
1408 What can I say, they were on sale. 1.2857 0.05802 98 76 16 6
1409 The coat was taken, but I'm still your man 1.2857 0.05295 112 86 20 6
1410 I was struck by lightning on the 13th tee. 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
1411 They're not as loud as your harps, I can tell you that. 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
1412 I admit that I've had a checkered past. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
1413 Can't let you in wearing those pants. 1.2857 0.04528 147 112 28 7
1414 He's gonna love my stained glass pants. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
1415 Think of it as my shout out to that rainbow thing thou did. 1.2857 0.05802 98 76 16 6
1416 Judge a man not by the color of his pants, but by the content of his character 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1417 Lucky for you that I'm not with the Fashion Police. 1.2846 0.04663 130 98 27 5
1418 It's not just a black and white issue, Lord. 1.2846 0.04912 130 100 23 7
1419 Tell Joseph I've brought him the bottom half of his suit. 1.2846 0.05230 123 96 19 8
1420 Struck by lightening on the golf course. 1.2846 0.05230 123 96 19 8
1421 Prioritize, my child! Checkered past or checkered pants? 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1422 That’s one hell of a pair of pants. I think you might be in the wrong place. 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1423 Black tie only. 1.2846 0.04548 123 91 29 3
1424 Sticks and stones, Pete. Sticks and stones. 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
1425 Do you allow walk-ons, or is this a members-only club? 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
1426 Not in those pants, you’re not. 1.2845 0.05020 116 88 23 5
1427 Mr. Mondrian is going to be upset 1.2845 0.05449 116 91 17 8
1428 Wait a minute! I see you have a checkered past! 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
1429 Sure, why not. You should have seen the last guy. 1.2845 0.04868 116 87 25 4
1430 Actually, I'm more worried about my checkered past. 1.2844 0.05229 109 83 21 5
1431 You must be my new caddy. 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
1432 I'm afraid "golf" is no excuse. 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
1433 Could never solve that cube and now it’s with me forever. 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1434 Joseph said to deliver these personally. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
1435 Wait, since when is a faux pas a sin? 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
1436 What's THAT supposed to mean - "the devil is in the details"? 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
1437 Here in heaven, we frown upon lawyers who've had a checkered past! 1.2836 0.05148 134 106 18 10
1438 Yes but I golf on Sundays 1.2836 0.04691 134 102 26 6
1439 At least I'm not wearing tassel loafers. 1.2835 0.04860 127 97 24 6
1440 Judge me not by the color of my pants, but by the content of my character. 1.2835 0.05465 127 102 14 11
1441 I'm not going to be the only one. That tornado you sent went right through our company golf tournament. 1.2835 0.05111 127 99 20 8
1442 Sorry, golf is really more of a hell thing. 1.2835 0.04860 127 97 24 6
1443 Could’ve been worse. At least I wasn’t found on the toilet. 1.2833 0.04457 120 88 30 2
1444 Yes, the pants are cool, but matching wings would be too much. 1.2833 0.05447 120 95 16 9
1445 A stroke on a golf course… I get it… but I still don’t think it’s funny. 1.2833 0.04761 120 90 26 4
1446 My name's Joe and these are my pants of many colors. 1.2833 0.04611 120 89 28 3
1447 I think my ball landed somewhere over here. Ironically, it was a hell of a slice. 1.2833 0.05317 120 94 18 8
1448 Unexpected accident, no time to change 1.2832 0.04944 113 85 24 4
1449 This is the first time we have not been able to forgive a sin. 1.2832 0.05102 113 86 22 5
1450 The Queen was able to pick just one color ... 1.2832 0.05254 113 87 20 6
1451 I thought this was going to be on Zoom. 1.2832 0.05547 113 89 16 8
1452 So no golf? 1.2832 0.05254 113 87 20 6
1453 You mean I can't be cool in Heaven? 1.2832 0.05102 113 86 22 5
1454 The label promised a heavenly fit. 1.2832 0.04527 113 85 25 3
1455 Hmm, let me guess. Struck by lightning at the golf course? 1.2830 0.05648 106 83 16 7
1456 It's stained glass window couture. 1.2830 0.05487 106 82 18 6
1457 Are you the starter? I’ve got an 8:20 tee time. 1.2828 0.05927 99 78 14 7
1458 No one ever said anything about a dress code to me! 1.2828 0.05380 99 75 20 4
1459 So you're telling me a fashion sin is still a sin? I want to talk to a manager. 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
1460 Sorry, we have a dress code here. Go to hell. 1.2828 0.05927 99 78 14 7
1461 Welcome. We need to talk about your shirt. 1.2828 0.05750 99 77 16 6
1462 I hope heaven doesn’t have a dress code. 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
1463 Welcome to Hell. The golf course is on your right. 1.2826 0.04712 138 106 25 7
1464 If you send me back, I'll bring you a pair. 1.2826 0.04823 138 107 23 8
1465 Ok, fine. I'll give you 'Crime against fashion'. But is it really a sin? 1.2826 0.04239 138 102 33 3
1466 You'll need a matching tie. 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1467 Lightning, while golfing. 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1468 I'm looking for Joseph - he's got my sports jacket." 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1469 It's your fault! I lost a bet about your existence! 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1470 Do you mind if I just walk through? 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1471 Anna Wintour carries a gun" 1.2823 0.05317 124 98 17 9
1472 So plaid will be in for eternity?” 1.2823 0.04589 124 95 24 5
1473 Just because they were on sale doesn’t mean you had to buy them 1.2823 0.05439 124 99 15 10
1474 In my defense, Jacob had a coat of many colors. 1.2821 0.04529 156 121 26 9
1475 No we don’t take walk-ins in the main room but I do have a table for one in limbo. 1.2821 0.05270 117 91 19 7
1476 I know, I know, I should have worn a mask. 1.2821 0.05543 117 93 15 9
1477 My early life was really quite boring so I believe that is likely a typo. I assume it should read, “Toward the end of his life Dale was known for his checkered PANTS.” 1.2821 0.04832 117 88 25 4
1478 But I was told plaid is a 'go anywhere' look. 1.2821 0.05543 117 93 15 9
1479 I'm worried they'll clash with the wings. 1.2821 0.04832 117 88 25 4
1480 Yes, I am a card-carrying WASP. What gave it away? 1.2819 0.04268 149 112 32 5
1481 I call it the Day Of Astonishment. 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
1482 Can you tell Joseph his tailor is here? 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
1483 I said I needed help with my checkered PAST. 1.2818 0.05500 110 86 17 7
1484 God damn it! I was 2 strokes ahead when I got the stroke. 1.2818 0.05500 110 86 17 7
1485 I’m sorry, but a crime of fashion is taken quite seriously up here. 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
1486 My golf scorecard isn’t that great, either. 1.2818 0.05649 110 87 15 8
1487 What was Commandment 6 again? 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1488 Would He buy that I was just making a Dad joke? 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1489 I took a chance with the pants because I don't believe in a jealous God. 1.2815 0.05114 135 107 18 10
1490 Madras didn't work on Earth, nor does it in heavens. 1.2815 0.04778 135 104 24 7
1491 At the time I got them just for the hell of it. 1.2812 0.04827 128 98 24 6
1492 I'm Bob with the Amazing Technicolor Dream pants. 1.2812 0.05278 96 72 21 3
1493 But they distract from my baldness. 1.2812 0.05195 128 101 18 9
1494 I saw the thunderstorm coming but I was about to break par and win twenty dollars from my brother. 1.2812 0.05195 128 101 18 9
1495 Sorry Saint Peter, but it’s Wednesday and I have a tee time in 15 minutes. 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
1496 Would you ask Joseph if I might borrow his coat? 1.2812 0.05868 96 75 15 6
1497 You’re saying my checkered pants have finally caught up with me? 1.2812 0.04845 96 70 25 1
1498 I can see now that I’ve been a clown. 1.2812 0.05868 96 75 15 6
1499 oh, cut it out. have you seen what the Pope wears? 1.2812 0.04698 128 97 26 5
1500 I'm sorry but I did not have time to change on the golf course. 1.2810 0.05407 121 96 16 9
1501 I can't forgive those pants. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
1502 They said we could wear whatever made us happy—“ “Whatever makes ME happy. Now go change 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
1503 Is Joseph home? I think he has my jacket. 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
1504 No one mentioned the dress code. 1.2808 0.04319 146 110 31 5
1505 You go crazy once in your life and this is what happens? 1.2808 0.04835 146 115 21 10
1506 Please look again. It's Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreampants. 1.2808 0.04319 146 110 31 5
1507 At least my seven iron survived the lightning. 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
1508 Well, I was hoping just to play through. 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
1509 I thought wearing dead stock would be appropriate. 1.2807 0.04907 114 86 24 4
1510 Yeah,well,if I had known this morning I would be spending all of eternity in these,I wouldn't have been so bold. 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
1511 Someone told me that only God knows where my ball ended up . By the way, it was a Wilson 3. 1.2807 0.04907 114 86 24 4
1512 Fashion hell is to your right. 1.2807 0.05503 114 90 16 8
1513 I’m sorry about Joseph’s coat. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1514 I started in Purgatory in 1976 1.2804 0.04932 107 80 24 3
1515 Sorry, but jackets are required here. 1.2804 0.05277 107 82 20 5
1516 So, what you’re saying is: it’s not the fact that my slice killed my caddie, it’s the pants. 1.2804 0.05602 107 84 16 7
1517 I'm Mr Rubik? 1.2803 0.04847 132 102 23 7
1518 But you liked Joseph's coat, right?. 1.2800 0.05279 125 99 17 9
1519 It's Purgatory for you until you realize what's wrong with those pants. 1.2800 0.04765 125 95 25 5
1520 Those pants definitely belong in hell. 1.2797 0.05231 118 92 19 7
1521 Apparently it was a bit too loud for hell. 1.2797 0.04797 118 89 25 4
1522 Well, I WAS going to let you in. 1.2797 0.05090 118 91 21 6
1523 Give us our John Daly bread. 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
1524 But, you have to give me credit for shopping at Goodwill. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
1525 He sent me right back up here, not even a chuckle. 1.2794 0.04748 136 105 24 7
1526 I'm looking for Rodney Dangerfield 1.2793 0.05604 111 88 15 8
1527 I’m just not a pastel kind of guy 1.2793 0.04645 111 82 27 2
1528 I just never had the guts to wear these down there. 1.2793 0.05889 111 90 11 10
1529 Don't be so judgmental. 1.2793 0.04985 111 84 23 4
1530 When did it dawn on you that life is no circus? 1.2793 0.05456 111 87 17 7
1531 Not a chance. 1.2791 0.05041 129 101 20 8
1532 No worries. You should see what I'm wearing. 1.2788 0.05543 104 81 17 6
1533 Sorry. Those pants are a mortal sin. 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
1534 Yeah I know, a bit gaudy. 1.2788 0.05372 104 80 19 5
1535 Why when I was looking at a four foot eagle putt? 1.2788 0.05012 104 78 23 3
1536 But I heard there was no accounting for taste 1.2788 0.05372 104 80 19 5
1537 Do I get any credit for the pants? I bought them at a Good Will. 1.2787 0.04836 122 93 24 5
1538 I apologize for the frustration my cube caused. 1.2787 0.04836 122 93 24 5
1539 The heavenly printer is low on ink. 1.2787 0.05367 122 97 16 9
1540 You would be Joseph and his Pants of Many Colors? 1.2787 0.04694 122 92 26 4
1541 OK, one free point for the whimsical pants. 1.2787 0.04974 122 94 22 6
1542 Does Joseph want his amazing technicolor dreampants back? 1.2787 0.04836 122 93 24 5
1543 I should've worn shorts. 1.2786 0.04653 140 108 25 7
1544 We only do grey around here. 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
1545 Long story, but I died in a clown school dressing room. 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
1546 You can't go in wearing those pants. 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
1547 ... and I thought she was exaggerating when she said they were a sin. 1.2783 0.05024 115 88 22 5
1548 I felt like I needed to make a statement. 1.2783 0.04375 115 84 30 1
1549 I was trying to differentiate myself. I knew the Devil Wears Prada. 1.2783 0.05174 115 89 20 6
1550 It’s Vintage. 1.2783 0.05319 115 90 18 7
1551 I see you’re checkering in… 1.2783 0.05319 115 90 18 7
1552 I figured you guys like stained glass, so... 1.2778 0.04893 108 81 24 3
1553 You can stay, but the pants gotta go. 1.2778 0.04893 108 81 24 3
1554 When you know you're going to Hell so you just don't care anymore 1.2778 0.04893 108 81 24 3
1555 Do you have a bathroom? 1.2778 0.05709 108 86 14 8
1556 Nope. You go straight to Hell. 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1557 C'mon, Pete. Clearly I'm dressed for an eternity of leisure. 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1558 I can forgive everything but those pants. 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
1559 Are my pants going to present a problem? 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
1560 I can’t say I’m really surprised. I was also too cool for school. 1.2778 0.05067 108 82 22 4
1561 Did I take the road less traveled 1.2778 0.05067 108 82 22 4
1562 I'm a member 1.2778 0.06005 108 88 10 10
1563 Well, if you would give me an hour back on Earth, I could change them and come back. 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1564 No need to be so judgmental about my pants 1.2773 0.05192 119 93 19 7
1565 Bud Collins has been waiting for you to arrive. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
1566 Actually, they're not pants. This is all that was left of my parachute. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1567 It's my own version of Dress for Success. Whaddya think? 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1568 Satan said 'Hard pass!' 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1569 They wouldn't let me in down there. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1570 don't hate the playa 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1571 Where’s the pro-shop? 1.2770 0.04375 148 113 29 6
1572 I wasn't sure if I should wear a tie, but nothing matched. 1.2769 0.05006 130 102 20 8
1573 And just who are you to sit in judgment of my plaid pants? 1.2768 0.05412 112 88 17 7
1574 I don't know either, bro! 1.2768 0.04781 112 84 25 3
1575 They wouldn't let me bring my clubs. 1.2768 0.05262 112 87 19 6
1576 They said, 'Hell,no,not in those trousers.’ 1.2768 0.05702 112 90 13 9
1577 I would have changed if I’d known….. 1.2768 0.04947 112 85 23 4
1578 What do you mean, “It’s me or the pants?” 1.2768 0.05107 112 86 21 5
1579 Hey, you would have let Harry Styles in with these. 1.2768 0.05107 112 86 21 5
1580 I honestly didn’t think a deadly fashion sin would make me end up here. 1.2766 0.04879 94 69 24 1
1581 This is why we needed an 11th commandment. 1.2766 0.04838 141 111 21 9
1582 The coat? Joe took it. 1.2766 0.06126 94 75 12 7
1583 Will I get wings to match these pants? 1.2766 0.04838 141 111 21 9
1584 I'm picking up a judgmental vibe here. 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
1585 All togs go to heaven 1.2766 0.06126 94 75 12 7
1586 Sorry, but I didn't have time to put on dress slacks. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
1587 Hey, my eyes are up here, Sir. 1.2764 0.05202 123 97 18 8
1588 I didn't know fashion sins counted. 1.2762 0.04972 105 79 23 3
1589 You won't let me in because of that? 1.2762 0.05496 105 82 17 6
1590 Jackets only? 1.2762 0.05820 105 84 13 8
1591 This place could use a little color. 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
1592 So maybe I did play golf on an occasional Sunday 1.2761 0.04418 134 101 29 4
1593 Have you seen a yellow Titleist? 1.2759 0.05135 116 90 20 6
1594 In my defense, I got them from Barneys when Barneys was Barneys. 1.2759 0.05556 116 93 14 9
1595 if I didn’t take them with me, she was going to burn them 1.2759 0.05135 116 90 20 6
1596 Well, first I lost my sense of taste... 1.2756 0.04700 127 97 25 5
1597 Last I checked, bad taste wasn’t on the list 1.2756 0.05205 127 101 17 9
1598 Here, Bob could not escape his checkered past. 1.2756 0.04427 127 95 29 3
1599 I heard lack of good taste was not a “sin.” 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
1600 Lucky for you fashion crimes don't count here. 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
1601 I guess I'll find out how lucky these pants really are. 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
1602 It's not "come as you are"? 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1603 Once I got to the nursing home, it was inevitable I would die in my bingo pants. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1604 I'm sorry Peter, when my wife said these pants were social suicide I didn't know she really meant it. 1.2754 0.04456 138 105 28 5
1605 Do I have time to go home and change? 1.2752 0.04676 109 81 26 2
1606 I can’t seat you until your entire party is here 1.2752 0.05193 109 84 20 5
1607 Those are the pants you chose for eternity? 1.2752 0.05662 109 87 14 8
1608 And what are you wearing, smarty pants? 1.2752 0.05027 109 83 22 4
1609 I wanted to dress to impress. 1.2752 0.04244 149 113 31 5
1610 You keep track of what we wear too? 1.2752 0.04553 149 116 25 8
1611 If I'd known it was today, I wouldn't have worn these pants. 1.2750 0.05893 80 61 16 3
1612 I thought the line would be longer. 1.2750 0.04578 120 90 27 3
1613 No tie, no jacket, no service. 1.2750 0.05153 120 94 19 7
1614 Well yes, they are called Go to Hell pants. 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1615 I was told, "elegant casual." 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
1616 Those are unforgiveable! 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
1617 I thought dead men don't wear plaid. 1.2747 0.06066 91 72 13 6
1618 Where do I find the other three golfers of the apocalypse? 1.2747 0.06066 91 72 13 6
1619 I've already plead guilty to the fashion police. 1.2745 0.05424 102 79 18 5
1620 Do not pass go, do not collect $200 1.2745 0.05424 102 79 18 5
1621 Why did you ask if my grandfather was Piet Mondrian? 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
1622 Who knew heaven had a dress code? 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
1623 Yes, my name is Roy G. Biv. 1.2745 0.05601 102 80 16 6
1624 It was my day off. 1.2745 0.04172 153 116 32 5
1625 I dress for the afterlife I want, not the afterlife I have. 1.2745 0.04957 102 79 19 4
1626 Well, can I at least use your restroom? 1.2743 0.04745 113 85 25 3
1627 Sorry,I'm coming from a Zoom meeting. 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
1628 Sorry, you have long passed your “best before” date. 1.2743 0.04745 113 85 25 3
1629 I have a tee time. 1.2743 0.04745 113 85 25 3
1630 Colorful, sure — but I wouldn’t go so far as to say checkered. 1.2743 0.04909 113 86 23 4
1631 I know about your checkered past. 1.2743 0.05370 113 89 17 7
1632 They ran out of dreamcoats in my size. 1.2742 0.05164 124 98 18 8
1633 Joseph's got nothing on me. 1.2742 0.05164 124 98 18 8
1634 What do you mean there are rules about pants up here! 1.2742 0.04768 124 95 24 5
1635 Don't take this the wrong way, but can you please take off your pants? 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1636 I’m dying to know what color pants your wearing. 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
1637 Yes, it is about the pants. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
1638 And God identifies this plaid with WHAT clan, excuse me, tribe, with whom He's been feuding for HOW many centuries? 1.2737 0.06427 95 78 8 9
1639 I guess you have HOLY water hazards here, hunh ? 1.2736 0.05110 106 81 21 4
1640 My wife says it's mortal but I say it's venial. 1.2736 0.05613 106 84 15 7
1641 So one minute I'm out at Bedminister playing golf with Trump & next minute I'm here. 1.2736 0.05110 106 81 21 4
1642 Every time I wore these, my wife said 'Oh, for Heaven's sake. 1.2736 0.05110 106 81 21 4
1643 Since when is there a dress code? 1.2736 0.05613 106 84 15 7
1644 Let me go back and I swear I’ll never wear them again. 1.2736 0.05110 106 81 21 4
1645 Wrong pants or the wrong place? I 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
1646 My greatest sin is my fashion sense. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
1647 So this isn't the New York Public Library? 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
1648 They were a gift from my ex-wife. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
1649 I hoped my pants of many colors might help my case. 1.2735 0.05378 117 93 16 8
1650 Heaven has fashion police? 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
1651 The 1st tee is just past beyond that 3rd cloud . . . 1.2734 0.04798 128 99 23 6
1652 Have you seen a titleist prov1 with a shamrock on it? 1.2734 0.04658 139 108 24 7
1653 I admit to a checkered career, but in my defense, I wear it well. 1.2727 0.04674 143 112 23 8
1654 I've clashed with almost everyone I've met. 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
1655 These aren't my pants. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1656 We have a special place for you. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1657 But they were a Fathers Day Gift. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1658 It hints at a checkered past but plays well with the redemptive qualities of the starched white shirt. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1659 I was about to bogie. 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1660 Sorry, I died on the golf course. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
1661 What do you mean wearing these ought to be a sin? 1.2727 0.05116 121 95 19 7
1662 I know they're a sin, but they were on sale. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
1663 Do fashion crimes count as sins? 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1664 Do I check out? 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
1665 But it was after Labor Day 1.2727 0.04640 110 82 26 2
1666 Well,I did accept millions of $$$ from Saudi blood money just to play golf,but I only wanted to grow the game. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
1667 Think Joseph's Coat. 1.2727 0.04979 121 94 21 6
1668 You mean you don't have matching wings? 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1669 I know, it's usually men who are color blind, but in my case, it's my wife. 1.2727 0.04632 154 122 22 10
1670 I heard you like colorful characters. 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
1671 I don’t suppose I could get a Mulligan? 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
1672 I admit that the decision you face is not exactly black and white. 1.2727 0.04979 121 94 21 6
1673 No, I haven't seen your golf ball 1.2727 0.04979 121 94 21 6
1674 Being the author of The Preppy Handbook has to count for something! 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1675 There are worse sins, your honor. 1.2727 0.04391 121 90 29 2
1676 I wasn’t sure whether to dress for heaven or hell. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1677 Look, I lost a bet, I don't want to talk about it. 1.2720 0.04597 125 95 26 4
1678 Would a matching coat and tie satisfy your dress code?" 1.2720 0.05000 125 98 20 7
1679 Married 45 years; my wife said she couldn’t solve me. 1.2720 0.05000 125 98 20 7
1680 Are you going to just stand there and judge me? 1.2720 0.04735 125 96 24 5
1681 Sorry, She doesn't allow anything that clashes with purple. 1.2720 0.05000 125 98 20 7
1682 I used to call them my lucky pants... 1.2719 0.05328 114 90 17 7
1683 I just can’t understand why my wife murdered me. 1.2719 0.05472 114 91 15 8
1684 I was supposed to play golf with John Daly today. 1.2718 0.05012 103 78 22 3
1685 My homage to Joseph's coat of many colors. 1.2718 0.05012 103 78 22 3
1686 So, NO daily special? 1.2718 0.05721 103 82 14 7
1687 BIG points for the crazy pants! Come on in! 1.2718 0.05198 103 79 20 4
1688 But I heard God loves squares? 1.2718 0.04616 103 76 26 1
1689 You remember Joseph and the Coat of Many Colors? Well, I'm Harold and the chinos of too many colors. 1.2718 0.05721 103 82 14 7
1690 The sin of clashing colors? 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1691 I think I’m okay under Matthew, chapter 6, verse 25. 1.2717 0.05150 92 69 21 2
1692 The people downstairs said they wouldn't take me either. 1.2714 0.04282 140 106 30 4
1693 I'm here to get my dreamcoat back from Joseph. 1.2713 0.04637 129 99 25 5
1694 I hope comfort isn't a sin. 1.2712 0.04449 118 88 28 2
1695 Wearing plaid is the the eighth deadly sin!? 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1696 Nobody said anything about a dress code. 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
1697 I wouldn’t call avant-garde a sin, per se. 1.2710 0.05566 107 85 15 7
1698 Traffic accident. How'd you know? 1.2710 0.05069 107 82 21 4
1699 I'm hoping that I'm somewhere over the rainbow. 1.2710 0.05405 107 84 17 6
1700 They sent me back. 1.2710 0.05566 107 85 15 7
1701 It's a tattoo. 1.2710 0.05722 107 86 13 8
1702 They’re my mom’s 1.2710 0.05566 107 85 15 7
1703 On the upside, the golfing is endless. 1.2708 0.06012 96 77 12 7
1704 So....How does Heaven stack up against Greenwich, CT? 1.2708 0.04320 144 110 29 5
1705 Who the hell told you there was no dress code in heaven? 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1706 I guess I caught you on the 17th hole! 1.2708 0.04907 96 74 19 3
1707 Hey, who stole your ears? 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1708 I have a matching Christmas sweater too! 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
1709 Hmm checkered past 1.2708 0.05826 96 76 14 6
1710 Oh, dear - I dressed for a Zoom interview. 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1711 Actually, there IS a dress code. 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
1712 Do these pants make me look fat? 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
1713 I generally dress snazzy for big events. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
1714 Well, I guess my worst fault would be poor taste... 1.2705 0.04804 122 94 23 5
1715 Can you tell me if I would've made that putt if I hadn't been struck by lightning? 1.2703 0.05111 111 86 20 5
1716 I got them at the duty-free shop in Purgatory. 1.2703 0.05269 111 87 18 6
1717 Nice pants—of course who am I to judge? 1.2703 0.05111 111 86 20 5
1718 What's wrong with golf? 1.2700 0.05385 100 80 14 6
1719 They need to be washed with cold water and then air dried.” 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
1720 I didn't feel the white robe did me justice. 1.2700 0.05096 100 76 21 3
1721 Of all the days, Lord, you had to take me on casual Friday 1.2700 0.04574 100 76 22 2
1722 But I was on Zoom. Nobody saw them. 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
1723 I’m just saying, what a day to take a risk 1.2700 0.05096 100 76 21 3
1724 I have a 7:15 tee time. 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
1725 Some color for some hair. even trade? 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1726 Religion? I'm of the Mosaic persuasion. 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
1727 Did my clubs survive the lightning strike, and how soon can I resume play? 1.2696 0.05429 115 92 15 8
1728 So I'm forgiven for everything except these pants? 1.2696 0.04508 115 86 27 2
1729 Chalk it up to a colorfully checkered past. 1.2696 0.05568 115 93 13 9
1730 I'm sorry, but it is a sin to wear those pants. 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
1731 I'm feeling a little judged. 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1732 No there isn’t an official dress code, but, this just won’t do. 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1733 can I keep the tee time I had below? 1.2692 0.05672 104 83 14 7
1734 Tee time? 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
1735 “Ooh! I’ve waited for decades to say this… Here comes the Hammer!” 1.2692 0.05333 104 81 18 5
1736 It's my take on "the coat of many colours". 1.2692 0.05672 104 83 14 7
1737 Sorry about the pants. I assumed it was going to be a virtual meeting. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
1738 Those pants are considered the eighth deadly sin. 1.2692 0.05834 104 84 12 8
1739 They were on sale. 1.2692 0.04970 104 79 22 3
1740 Before we get started, I'd like to explain why I kicked my ball out of the woods on 18. 1.2692 0.04102 156 119 32 5
1741 They're not pants. They're pyjama bottoms. 1.2689 0.04575 119 90 26 3
1742 It’s what we call Casual Friday.” 1.2689 0.04877 119 92 22 5
1743 It was casual Friday at work. 1.2688 0.05327 93 71 19 3
1744 We usually don’t enforce our dress code; but I just can’t let you in with those pants” 1.2688 0.05542 93 72 17 4
1745 Perhaps these trousers are penance enough? 1.2688 0.05542 93 72 17 4
1746 Sorry, but no one who submits captions to the New Yorker gets into heaven. 1.2688 0.05949 93 74 13 6
1747 It was a slow death. 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
1748 It's not your time yet. Go back and watch The Devil Wears Prada. 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
1749 Where else could I wear my 'Go To Hell' pants? 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
1750 Hhmmm….lived a colorful life. 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
1751 I heard this place was restricted, but this is ridiculous. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
1752 Mondrian had a line of trousers. 1.2683 0.05172 123 98 17 8
1753 Wearing a bad fathers day gift is not enough to get you into heaven 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1754 I too use pajamas pants since we started work from pedestal. 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1755 Years and years of going to church and not once was a dress code mentioned. 1.2683 0.04628 123 94 25 4
1756 Are you telling me that heaven has a stricter dress code than my golf club because that’s pretty messed up. 1.2683 0.05172 123 98 17 8
1757 I'm here to party 1.2681 0.04883 138 110 19 9
1758 Time of death: hammer time, am I right? 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1759 Any other regrets? Just— Now that you’re here. Anything you wish you could take back? 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1760 I heard clowns and comics are granted automatic admission 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1761 Did it have to be right before my eagle putt? 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1762 So I said 'Get rid of these pants? Over my dead body!' 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1763 No halo. Rainbow suspenders, please 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
1764 Sorry, Joseph wore it better. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1765 I promised my wife that I’d return these pants. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1766 'They also come in beige and herringbone.' 1.2677 0.04802 127 99 22 6
1767 Can I go back for the shirt? 1.2677 0.04802 127 99 22 6
1768 Colored pants after Labor Day is a big no no up here. 1.2674 0.05341 86 65 19 2
1769 Sorry, we have a dress code. 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
1770 I’m surprised that this counts against me up here too. 1.2674 0.06282 86 69 11 6
1771 What the hell are you wearing? 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
1772 Sorry, I can’t let you in. We have a very strict dress code. 1.2673 0.05245 101 78 19 4
1773 Can I get a tee time? 1.2673 0.05052 101 77 21 3
1774 Am I really going to get to SEE and PUTT with Arnold Palmer in Heaven?? 1.2673 0.05245 101 78 19 4
1775 We tend to favor the lame and the blind. Go on in. 1.2673 0.06116 101 83 9 9
1776 I always said that my friends could call me ‘crazy pants’ until the day I died. 1.2673 0.05052 101 77 21 3
1777 Beats getting caught with ‘em down, I suppose. 1.2673 0.05430 101 79 17 5
1778 Wait, you don't like them either? 1.2673 0.05430 101 79 17 5
1779 That's an automatic year in Preppy purgatory. 1.2673 0.05610 101 80 15 6
1780 Yes - they are patchwork. Why are you writing that down? 1.2673 0.05052 101 77 21 3
1781 Last thing I remember saying was ‘well, if God doesn’t appreciate fashion, then strike me dead’ 1.2673 0.05783 101 81 13 7
1782 Those would go well with Daniel’s coat 1.2673 0.05610 101 80 15 6
1783 No golf course? 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
1784 I had a dream that you'd let me in. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1785 ...and I once threw my ball out of the trap on to the green. 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
1786 It's the British Racing Green Metallic Mini Cooper. 1.2672 0.05387 116 93 15 8
1787 Really? Fashion faux pas is a MORTAL sin? 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1788 No coloured allowed 1.2672 0.04825 131 103 21 7
1789 Sorry, I had a heart attack at the golf course. I didn't have a chance to change. 1.2671 0.04110 161 124 31 6
1790 Can someone with ridiculous pants like mine get in? 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1791 Heaven is basically a quiet place. You'll never get in with those pants. 1.2667 0.05458 105 83 16 6
1792 What do you mean ⁉️ I don’t meet the dress code It’s after Labor Day. ‼️ 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
1793 Name's Joseph. I didn't have time to get my coat. 1.2667 0.04740 105 79 24 2
1794 You can stay, but those pants have to go! 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1795 What? This is today's dress code on Tik tok !! 1.2667 0.04543 105 78 26 1
1796 I was summering on Martha‘s 1.2667 0.04929 105 80 22 3
1797 $49.95 at Walmart, why? 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
1798 Sorry.God hates them. 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
1799 That's what you're wearing? 1.2667 0.07187 75 62 6 7
1800 I think I dressed for the wrong thing. 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
1801 Will I be the only one in plaid? 1.2667 0.05458 105 83 16 6
1802 But, they’re my pants of many colors! 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1803 I only got the pants of many colors. My brother Joseph got the coat. You know the trouble that caused. 1.2662 0.04632 139 109 23 7
1804 The Lord, my God, is a forgiving God. 1.2661 0.04596 124 95 25 4
1805 Wife said "if you buy those pants you can go to hell." Guess she was wrong again. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
1806 What do you mean you have standards! 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
1807 Can I get a second opinion? 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
1808 Who do you think tipped off the feds about Mar-a-Lago? 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
1809 Those pants. Omg, I’m dying. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1810 I am here to return Joseph's pants. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1811 I was expecting heavenly hosts, not a bouncer. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1812 Chose a bad day to wear my mom's birthday gift 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1813 Not with those pants, buddy. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
1814 Duffer; party of four? 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
1815 I hear golfers report in at the 19th hole. 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
1816 Do I get to keep my tee time? 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
1817 You can come in, but those pants have to stay down there. 1.2656 0.04365 128 97 28 3
1818 On the bright side, I am wearing my good luck pants. 1.2655 0.04707 113 86 24 3
1819 Just thought that folks could use a little more mirth in their after-lives. 1.2655 0.04872 113 87 22 4
1820 Am I in time for tee off? 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1821 Thank you, I like them, too. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1822 I wore these because I was told it is no longer whites only 1.2653 0.05720 98 78 14 6
1823 Do you have a tie to go with those pants? 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1824 Robes just aren't my thing. 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1825 Sure, you're going to Heaven, but whoever sold you those pants is going to Hell. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1826 We have a strict dress code... 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1827 I also designed the Norwegian curling pants. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1828 It was the pants that got me killed... 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
1829 Be bold,” they said. “No judgement,” they said. 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
1830 In my defense, they were a birthday present from my wife. 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
1831 Forgive me god, I know these pants are a sin 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
1832 Let me guess. Joseph is your better half. 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1833 In my defense, they make my butt look great. 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1834 Well, you *were* on the list... 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1835 God discovering the 8th Deadly Sin. 1.2650 0.05346 117 94 15 8
1836 I forgot what I was going to ask you. 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
1837 I knew nobody was going to believe that hole in one. 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
1838 They’re Aimé Leon Dore! 1.2647 0.05561 102 81 15 6
1839 When are cocktails? 1.2645 0.04947 121 95 20 6
1840 Everyone did seem to consider me a colorful character 1.2645 0.05084 121 96 18 7
1841 Now I remember what the 11th Commandment was. 1.2645 0.04586 121 95 21 5
1842 A lightning strike on the golf course wasn’t fair 1.2645 0.05349 121 98 14 9
1843 Egads! You are very, very fortunate...did I say "very?"... that God is COLORBLIND... 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
1844 I didn't exactly plan on dying in the middle of changing in a thrift store. 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
1845 Your wife must have murdered you in your sleep. Am I right? 1.2642 0.04889 106 81 22 3
1846 Yeah, my wife didn't like them either. 1.2642 0.05576 106 85 14 7
1847 It's the plaid pants, isn't it? 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
1848 They’re my lucky golf pants… 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
1849 I can tell you have an eye for fashion. 1.2642 0.04889 106 81 22 3
1850 Never let your grandnieces lay out your funeral clothes, am I right? 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
1851 I was hoping to add "Joie De Vivre" to my list of accomplishments... 1.2640 0.04420 125 95 27 3
1852 Sorry. You caught me with my pants on. 1.2637 0.05813 91 72 14 5
1853 Is it the bow tie? 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
1854 I see you were playing golf in a thunderstorm. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
1855 Does being a Rubik's Cube master count for anything around here? 1.2636 0.04776 110 84 23 3
1856 You JUST got in 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
1857 Yes, you can say that I have had a checkered past, but as you can see, it's all behind me now. 1.2636 0.04336 129 98 28 3
1858 At least I didn’t cheat. Whoever put quicksand in the sand trap, they cheated. 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
1859 What? No Casual Friday? 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1860 It was the 60's, what can I say? 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1861 Sorry, those pants are too loud for our noise restrictions. 1.2632 0.06588 76 61 10 5
1862 Seriously? No one told you those were a sin? 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1863 Well, Joseph had that coat, didn't he, so why can't I have the pants of many colors? 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
1864 But you let Joseph keep his coat! 1.2632 0.06025 95 77 11 7
1865 Yes, we do require pants, but not those. 1.2632 0.05837 95 76 13 6
1866 When in Florida… 1.2632 0.04502 114 86 26 2
1867 I’ll need you to check your pants at the narrow gate. 1.2632 0.04515 133 103 25 5
1868 It was Spielberg's idea! 1.2632 0.05294 114 91 16 7
1869 I wear the pants around here 1.2632 0.05884 76 61 11 4
1870 I was told I could pull this off if I just believed. 1.2627 0.04728 118 91 23 4
1871 John Daly is my nephew.” 1.2627 0.04410 118 89 27 2
1872 Did you happen to see a Titleist come by this way? 1.2627 0.04728 118 91 23 4
1873 If you need my name, it's Piet Mondrian. 1.2627 0.05167 118 94 17 7
1874 I ask no forgiveness for the choices I have made. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1875 These slacks kept me out of hell. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1876 So now fashion sins count? 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1877 What! you're the one who made me color blind 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1878 It says here you have a checkered history 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
1879 No, we don't have a matching robe! 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1880 What do you mean there are no mulligans? 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1881 OK, fine, I'll change my pants. 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
1882 We really got to get that disco glitch looked at! 1.2626 0.05094 99 76 20 3
1883 Sorry, we have already filled our quota of golf club members. 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
1884 Have you seen a Titleist 4 around here? 1.2626 0.05094 99 76 20 3
1885 Oh, now the pants I can’t account for so I’ll just have to blame the late-stage dementia. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1886 I was hoping that when I died I could patch things up. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1887 I have to know who your stylist is! Oh! Silly me, I have the big book right here. 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
1888 They pants were a lapse of judgement and wrong; for that I apologize, but they do not reflect the person I am today. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
1889 Check the list again. I'm Erno Rubik. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
1890 I figured the golf would be great in paradise. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
1891 I was hoping there'd be golf. 1.2621 0.05512 103 82 15 6
1892 I figure I owed myself to go in style. 1.2621 0.04772 103 78 23 2
1893 True. I did choose LIV over PGA. 1.2621 0.04772 103 78 23 2
1894 You can come in, but your pants can go to hell 1.2621 0.04967 103 79 21 3
1895 Where's Joseph? I wanted to ask him to return my coat. 1.2621 0.04671 103 80 20 3
1896 Under new management? 1.2621 0.04967 103 79 21 3
1897 'NOW you call me?' 1.2621 0.05512 103 82 15 6
1898 So... no casual Fridays? 1.2619 0.05062 126 101 17 8
1899 I need to change my tee time. 1.2617 0.05200 107 84 18 5
1900 Last thing I remember was joining the Zoom meeting, and now I’m here. 1.2617 0.05200 107 84 18 5
1901 They used to be a coat 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
1902 All my other clothes were in the laundry. 1.2614 0.06153 88 71 11 6
1903 If I tell you I died on a golf course, you'll know I'm lying right? 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1904 I understand someone inside has my matching jacket. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
1905 What do you mean that you don’t have matching wings? 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
1906 Seven years of purgatory for these pants? 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1907 I get it, but I still need the last four digits of your social." 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1908 Would you rather I took them off? 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1909 I'm sorry but you have to carry your own clubs. 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1910 I hope you like my haute couture. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1911 I’d like to go back as a Rubik’s cube, please. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1912 So this is what happens to cancelled statues. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1913 I helped many children laugh when i wore these clown pants but i confess i sent a few screaming in fear 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
1914 I'm guessing you're the bouncer? 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
1915 Hi I'm here to 'check-er' into Heaven. 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
1916 I expected the line to be longer. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1917 Dolly Parton sent me 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
1918 The special place in Hell was full. 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1919 I have the same pair! 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
1920 Who hasn't wanted to be a rebel? 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
1921 You didn't give me time to get dressed. 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
1922 You can start by explaining your checkered past. 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1923 But they're ethically sourced! 1.2609 0.04636 115 88 24 3
1924 They’re not literally criminal 1.2605 0.04616 119 94 20 5
1925 At least you were wearing clean underwear. 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
1926 You will have to change for choir practice 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
1927 Is it ok if I take these with me? 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
1928 It's easier to wear these for clients than to bring swatch samples. 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
1929 Can I take the mask off now? 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1930 A checkered life, yes, but I look best in seersucker! 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1931 Is this the stairway to heaven? 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
1932 So. Is the WiFi any good? 1.2600 0.04632 100 75 24 1
1933 No, no, I said it was a crime of PASSION. 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1934 They wouldn't let me in either. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1935 I admit they are a little loud, but six months in Purgatory seems excessive. 1.2600 0.04845 100 76 22 2
1936 Mind if I check your lost and found? 1.2600 0.04845 100 76 22 2
1937 You guys have casual Friday up here? 1.2600 0.05617 100 80 14 6
1938 I see that you lived a colorful life. 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
1939 These are my only clean pair.” 1.2600 0.04845 100 76 22 2
1940 It's been a long pandemic. 1.2600 0.04632 100 75 24 1
1941 Discrepancies on my golf scorecard? Really?? 1.2596 0.05291 104 82 17 5
1942 I knew these pants would kill me somehow ! 1.2596 0.05465 104 83 15 6
1943 I only ate 7 endangered aardvarks. I was devoted to 7 of my 10 children. I left 25 of my 35 billion dollar fortune to climate change non-profits. I donated all my organs. But it's these pants you're focusing on? I want my tithing back. Burrrrrrrrp! 1.2596 0.05465 104 83 15 6
1944 These are _not_ Joseph's pants. 1.2596 0.05112 104 81 19 4
1945 Belt or suspenders? 1.2596 0.05291 104 82 17 5
1946 Who told you I had a checkered past? 1.2596 0.05291 104 82 17 5
1947 We believe questions of righteousness are black and white. 1.2595 0.04545 131 102 24 5
1948 I think I am in heaven, but I'm wearing these pants.'' 1.2595 0.04279 131 100 28 3
1949 Yep, Sponge Bob Pants Squares 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
1950 It was a Christ Mass present. 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
1951 Jesus,those pants. 1.2593 0.05483 108 87 14 7
1952 Photo ID? I thought I just had to repent. 1.2593 0.05323 108 86 16 6
1953 Absolutely not, right? 1.2593 0.04987 108 84 20 4
1954 You’re headed downstairs for crimes against fashion. 1.2593 0.04810 108 83 22 3
1955 So, where does a guy have to go where there isn't a dress code? 1.2593 0.04810 108 83 22 3
1956 You look like the lion at the 42nd St. Library. 1.2589 0.05492 112 91 13 8
1957 Golf. It wasn’t your idea? 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1958 If I created them, they must be good 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1959 But my wife said these looked good. 1.2589 0.04871 112 87 21 4
1960 Those pants should be a sin 1.2589 0.05492 112 91 13 8
1961 The Bible didn't say anything about a dress code. 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1962 I apologize, but it was a sudden and unexpected departure. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
1963 It's not all black and white 1.2588 0.06296 85 69 10 6
1964 No criminal record, just a citation from the fashion police. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
1965 I've started a petition to move you to the 5th Avenue library. 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
1966 I hope the big guy is color blind. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
1967 Do you really want Eternity in those Pants? 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
1968 This isn’t that kind of club. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
1969 And I thought humanity was a complicated patchwork 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
1970 I guess you can take colored plaid pants with you. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
1971 Well, at least your shirt isn't stripped. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
1972 Come on! You let Joseph in wearing that coat! 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
1973 Glad I never lied about my handicap. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
1974 I was told, 'He looks stern, but he has an antic side.' 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
1975 I don’t care about your handicap! Those pants are a sin against humanity. I don’t care that they were made by “Tiger’s guy.” You must go to hell. Do not pass the 1st tee. Go directly to hell. PS:Take your clubs. They’re waiting to tee off. 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
1976 Will you forgive my checkered past? 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
1977 Umm even we can't let that pass 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
1978 It seems the driver who ran you over was confused at the traffic light. 1.2581 0.05275 93 74 15 4
1979 To achieve enlightenment, my son, you must atone for your checkered pants. 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
1980 It was Halloween. 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
1981 But I made a reservation! Let me speak with the manager. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
1982 But even the Bible tells us to come as we are! 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
1983 Yes as a matter of fact I did make these myself during Covid 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
1984 Tough luck on the back nine. 1.2578 0.04331 128 98 27 3
1985 Any chance I could go back long enough to finish the back nine? 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1986 Yes, I am on the Norwegian curling team. What gave it away? 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1987 Phew! I didn't end up in Babylon! 1.2577 0.05728 97 78 13 6
1988 I guess scoring the hole in one was too much for my heart. 1.2577 0.04922 97 74 21 2
1989 Trust me, I'm as surprised as you are. 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
1990 Yes, I’m grateful I died peacefully in my sleep, but had I known I’d be stuck in these pjs for eternity, I might have preferred a motorcycle accident. 1.2577 0.05728 97 78 13 6
1991 You’ve got to be one of Jacob’s kids. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
1992 I've heard about the multiple golf courses for those lingering in limbo. 1.2576 0.04251 132 101 28 3
1993 Is this the Anderson party? 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
1994 Heart attack on the 16th? 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
1995 Golfers to the left, please. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
1996 Try "Patches", my clown name! 1.2574 0.04804 101 77 22 2
1997 Hmmm, amazing pants, I have a friend with a matching drramcoat. 1.2574 0.04804 101 77 22 2
1998 A sin? Perhaps. But not in the Hamptons. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
1999 I'm just checking in. 1.2574 0.04804 101 77 22 2
2000 You figure it out,Mr Rubik. 1.2574 0.04549 136 107 23 6
2001 How'd you know I cheated on that last hole?" 1.2571 0.05069 105 82 19 4
2002 This is NOT baggage claim! It is the final destination. 1.2571 0.04885 105 81 21 3
2003 Do I have a chance in hell of getting into this gated community? 1.2571 0.05246 105 83 17 5
2004 I’m not staying. I’m just here to fill out a foursome. 1.2571 0.05418 105 84 15 6
2005 Please forgive my checkered past. 1.2571 0.05418 105 84 15 6
2006 No, I'm not colorblind. Why do you ask 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
2007 I gave my life for these pants, so there better be a tailor in heaven. 1.2569 0.04772 109 84 22 3
2008 Any other sin besides my pants? 1.2569 0.04772 109 84 22 3
2009 I was told to see the style council. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
2010 You're going to ding me on the mixed fabrics rule, aren't you? 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
2011 Oh, you can come into heaven all right, but forget about the restaurant. 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
2012 I can assure you Pete, I'm definitely on the guest list. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
2013 I was told he likes Madras. 1.2569 0.04772 109 84 22 3
2014 Yes, I confess. I kicked the ball away from a tree during the club championship. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
2015 Apparently theses pants are not a fashion sin. 1.2569 0.04591 109 83 24 2
2016 I’m a forgiving God, but this is stretching it 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2017 Do you have a shirt that goes with those pants? 1.2566 0.04405 113 88 22 3
2018 Do you have a reservation? 1.2566 0.04993 113 89 19 5
2019 Are there caddies here? 1.2566 0.04494 113 86 25 2
2020 Not a golfer eh ? 1.2566 0.04833 113 88 21 4
2021 Who in hell did you tick-off? 1.2566 0.04993 113 89 19 5
2022 It says here you have a "checkered past", but I see now that was a typo. 1.2566 0.05301 113 91 15 7
2023 Coat! Technicolor dream COAT! 1.2566 0.04714 152 124 17 11
2024 Plaid? Really? 1.2564 0.04567 117 90 24 3
2025 Yes, there's golf in Heaven 1.2564 0.04567 117 90 24 3
2026 No time to change. 1.2564 0.05172 117 94 16 7
2027 That’s checkered PANTS, not a checkered past. 1.2564 0.04879 117 92 20 5
2028 I died and I’m still getting dissed for these pants. 1.2564 0.04879 117 92 20 5
2029 I'm thinking less harp and wings and more slide whistle and balloon animals. 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
2030 The invitation said “Festive Dress.” 1.2564 0.05172 117 94 16 7
2031 I thought I'd dress up for the occasion. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2032 I thought he said "Blessed are the pantsmakers." 1.2561 0.06211 82 66 11 5
2033 I’ve never said this before, but you can only come in if you take off your pants first. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2034 If it's all the same to you, I was hoping I could bring them with me. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2035 If I had known that morning, I would have worn different pants. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2036 No one told me about the dress code 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2037 I died as I lived: in these pants. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2038 So, where’s the library? 1.2558 0.06230 86 70 10 6
2039 Please explain your choice of top. 1.2558 0.04575 129 101 23 5
2040 No. It is definitely NOT because of the pants! 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2041 All 300 classified documents from Mar-a-Lago are hidden under these denim patches. FBI got nothing!!! 1.2558 0.04956 129 104 17 8
2042 I finally got a hole in one and look what happened. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2043 I'm sorry, I didn't have a chance to change before... 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
2044 So you just don't get that many golfers any more?" 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
2045 Please don't say anything... I'll show myself out. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2046 Finally somebody followed the theme 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2047 So loud pants breaks which commandment, again? 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
2048 they never mentioned there was a dress code for heaven 1.2553 0.04522 94 70 24 0
2049 My wife bought them for me. Shouldn't just wearing them qualify me? 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
2050 This wasn’t exactly how I thought my day was going to go or I would have toned it down a notch. 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
2051 These pants need to be accepted somewhere, no? 1.2553 0.05002 94 72 20 2
2052 No, Lucifer, we still haven't forgiven you for those pants. 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
2053 Can you ever forgive me? 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
2054 Yeah, I’m happy wearing these for eternity 1.2551 0.05089 98 76 19 3
2055 My wife insisted I take these with me! 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
2056 This is eternity, Fred. Not a Zoom work from home. 1.2549 0.04963 102 79 20 3
2057 Too much color for the Library 1.2549 0.05518 102 82 14 6
2058 I died in a clowncar accident - now I'm stuck wearing these forever. 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
2059 The name is Erno.... like in Rubik 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
2060 So, entrance to Heaven really is black or white. 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
2061 This got me into Studio 54 once. 1.2547 0.04845 106 82 21 3
2062 Lucky for you God is color blind. 1.2545 0.05074 110 87 18 5
2063 I used to be considered the life of the party. Now what? 1.2545 0.04734 110 85 22 3
2064 So it turns out clown cars don’t have airbags. 1.2545 0.05074 110 87 18 5
2065 Something near the 10th Hole, please. 1.2544 0.05404 114 93 13 8
2066 If I’d known I was meeting you today I’d have worn the matching jacket. 1.2544 0.04631 114 88 23 3
2067 Golf clothes not allowed? 1.2544 0.04795 114 89 21 4
2068 You can’t think of any possible sins…? 1.2544 0.05109 114 91 17 6
2069 Really? You're judging me on my pants? 1.2542 0.05133 118 95 16 7
2070 Why not? I’m sure you let Joseph in! 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
2071 Rumor has it you allow checked baggage. 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
2072 This is what you wear when you hit a tiny ball into a small hole with a long stick and lie about your score. 1.2541 0.04286 122 93 27 2
2073 They were a hit in Palm Springs. 1.2541 0.04878 122 97 19 6
2074 Yeah, it used to be a multicolored coat. 1.2541 0.04878 122 97 19 6
2075 I figured I should do something to stand out. 1.2541 0.04442 122 94 25 3
2076 I was told to wear my party pants 1.2541 0.05148 122 99 15 8
2077 My checkered past is all on my behind. 1.2541 0.04878 122 97 19 6
2078 Note: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors pants. 1.2541 0.04737 122 96 21 5
2079 I was hoping to be judged on my wardrobe rather than my morality. 1.2540 0.04772 126 100 20 6
2080 Well what did you expect? I died on the golf course. 1.2536 0.04831 138 112 17 9
2081 What’s your membership fee? 1.2535 0.04941 142 117 14 11
2082 I'm here for the Technicolor Dreamcoat you posted on Facebook Marketplace. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2083 Sartorial sins sure, but otherwise good! 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2084 You have your tapestries, I have mine.... 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2085 I’m just saying, the Scriptures didn’t mention any problem with being a lifelong fan of The Partridge Family. 1.2530 0.06378 83 68 9 6
2086 Sorry, dress code: dead men don't wear plaid. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
2087 What can I say? I’ve lead a colorful life… 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2088 These pants didn't go with my wife. 1.2530 0.06378 83 68 9 6
2089 Look, you're the one that made me colour blind. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2090 Joseph got the coat and all I got was this lousy pair of pants. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2091 C’mon, Pete, garish is the new righteous. So let me in already.” 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2092 What was that? I couldn't hear you over those trousers. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2093 Yep, definitely worse than dirty underwear. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2094 They’re called technicolor dream pants, PETER. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2095 Jackets are mandatory. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2096 The practice putting green is over on the left. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2097 You're counting that stroke? 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
2098 Well, if Joseph could have the coat of many colors, surely I can have the pants! 1.2527 0.05086 91 70 19 2
2099 Joseph got in with a dreamcoat! 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2100 First Amendment, bub. 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
2101 I’m hoping for a comeback. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2102 I didn’t think a bow-tie could go so unnoticed. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2103 The devil may wear Prada, but angles wear Mondrian. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
2104 Just the pants...not my past 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
2105 Until today I was an awfully obnoxious atheist, and felt no shame from dressing in sinfully bad taste. 1.2526 0.04725 95 72 22 1
2106 Tell Joseph his amazing technicolor dream pants are ready. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
2107 Heaven help the color blind. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
2108 What do you do for fun? 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
2109 With pants like that, I think the other place would be a better fit. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
2110 I saw lightning, but I wasn't giving up my tee time. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
2111 The judgment? You have a checkered past. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
2112 I judge by more than clothing, Bob, which is in your favor. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
2113 Any chance I can go back for just a bit? I was even par through 16! 1.2525 0.04836 99 76 21 2
2114 Is this shirt OK with these pants? 1.2525 0.05624 99 80 13 6
2115 What about you? Dead men aren't supposed to wear plaid. 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
2116 Clearly NY fashion week has going to hell… 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
2117 So, the pants were that bad? 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
2118 I'm Joseph's older brother - Fred and his trousers of many colors. 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
2119 Yes, they are all I have with me. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
2120 I’m assuming my country club membership will transfer here ? 1.2524 0.04723 103 79 22 2
2121 I was about to let you in. But with those pants, no way. You're going to hell, my son. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
2122 I understand you've had a rather checkered history. 1.2524 0.04921 103 80 20 3
2123 Dress code? 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
2124 I was a designer of color blindness tests. 1.2524 0.05470 103 83 14 6
2125 I want it reviewed by a Special Master 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
2126 I hope that trend of pants died with you. 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
2127 Believe me, you wouldn't fit in. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
2128 Should I go back and change? 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
2129 I thought this was goling to be a Zoom meeting. 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
2130 Does it still count if your spouse bought them for you? 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
2131 Mondrian, Piet Mondrian, asked me to give you a message. He said he would like to speak with you after you have settled in. Something about 'inappropriate artistic appropriation'. 1.2523 0.04618 107 82 23 2
2132 If you really wanted to see me in church you would have given me later tee times. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
2133 You’re sure I used the Lord’s name in vain on that missed putt? 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
2134 Do fashion sins count? 1.2523 0.04519 111 85 24 2
2135 Have you thought of guardrails? I slipped and fell in a rainbow. 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
2136 My wife said you wouldn't like them, but are they really THAT bad? 1.2523 0.04697 111 86 22 3
2137 I opened her present and said I wouldn’t be caught dead in those pants? 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
2138 Ok, I'm going to let you bunk with Joseph and his coat of many colors. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2139 You should meet Joe. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2140 Why not? You let Joseph and his tacky coat in. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
2141 Do you discriminate against colored? 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2142 Your score on the back nine will determine your fate. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2143 Frequently misunderstood in life, James waited patiently with great apprehension as God examined his checkered pants. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2144 But these are my Sunday Best 1.2520 0.04256 123 94 27 2
2145 Sorry, I thought it would be kinda casual. You know, like Walmart. 1.2520 0.04559 123 96 23 4
2146 No, our dress code is still white cloaks! 1.2520 0.04559 123 96 23 4
2147 Well... you see... I was playing golf... it was raining hard... and the last thing I remember was a really loud cracking sound right in the middle of my swing... and so here I am! 1.2520 0.04559 123 96 23 4
2148 It's a wonder you've survived this long. 1.2520 0.04869 127 102 18 7
2149 They were out of dreamcoats, so I got the next best thing. 1.2519 0.04766 131 105 19 7
2150 His mistake was thinking Heaven was business-casual 1.2519 0.04381 131 102 25 4
2151 No tie required? Then what's the problem? 1.2500 0.04911 96 74 20 2
2152 Think of it this way, Edward...Your fashion felony has been bumped up to the highest court. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2153 I had to switch to ugly pants after Cosby ruined ugly sweaters for everyone. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
2154 My father always taught me: "Don't dress for the job you have. Dress for the job you want..." 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
2155 For too long it’s just been too black and white. 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
2156 Sorry didn't know I was going to die mid-round 1.2500 0.04308 120 92 26 2
2157 I died on the golf course. 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
2158 You must not have read Proverb 47: 14. Thou shall not be tasteless. 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2159 I wanted to impress you and I heard you liked technicolor. 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2160 Joseph let me borrow his Amazing Technicolor Dreampants. 1.2500 0.04687 100 79 18 3
2161 You needed to be around in the 70's to understand. 1.2500 0.05130 96 75 18 3
2162 I mean, this should go without saying, but I've got Joseph's amazing technicolor dream pants. That's the joke. Pretty obvious, but I thought of it and went, 'Douglas, you should march straight into traffic and show them to St. Peter.' 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
2163 Given current fashion trends, I'd say the wait is going to be 10-20 years. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
2164 I'll have you know that these trousers were very well-received at Princeton! 1.2500 0.04911 96 74 20 2
2165 You have wings to match? 1.2500 0.05444 108 88 13 7
2166 I got tired of hearing about multicolored coats. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
2167 Too bad you asked me to 'dammit' on the 11th hole. 1.2500 0.05030 116 93 17 6
2168 Pants for a way in 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2169 Why not? 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
2170 So are you the guy I ask about a tee time? 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
2171 Dress code? What dress code?" 1.2500 0.04794 100 77 21 2
2172 You can pick up a pair at Brooks Brothers 1.2500 0.04794 100 77 21 2
2173 I definitely died fifty years too late. 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
2174 When I said, "Cover Thy nakedness," I did NOT mean to dismantle the cathedral. 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2175 They'll be no fancy colors or flag waving here, unless I'm wearing them!" 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
2176 I’m here for the disco inferno. 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
2177 Please tell me I don't have to spend eternity in a clothing trend that lasted 15 minutes? 1.2500 0.05000 100 78 19 3
2178 Yes, they’re ugly, but I got my wish: I shot my age and got struck by lightening on the 18th hole! 1.2500 0.05735 96 78 12 6
2179 I'd like a word with the designer. 1.2500 0.06077 84 68 11 5
2180 Well, well, well. If it isn’t Joseph and his amazing technicolor dreampants. 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
2181 Heart attack on the 18th hole after improving my lie. Surprised I made it. 1.2500 0.04683 96 73 22 1
2182 The costume party is downstairs! 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
2183 You’re consigned to the Hamptons. 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
2184 Would you believe I was inspired by the stained glass? 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
2185 I admit I took a risk wearing these pants during Fashion Week. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
2186 The pants? Really? Unforgivable? 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
2187 Sorry about the pants. I thought this was Mar-A-Largo. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2188 Booking table online was closed 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
2189 Where's your coat, Joseph? 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
2190 You’re telling me there’s a dress code? 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
2191 I didn’t know you had a dress code. 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
2192 You: Yes Pants: No 1.2500 0.06110 92 76 9 7
2193 All I’m saying is that it would’ve been nice to know about the dress code earlier. 1.2500 0.04794 100 77 21 2
2194 I think I left my dreamcoat in there. 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
2195 So NOW you're telling me there's a dress code? 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
2196 The guy from downstairs sent me back. He has a dress code. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
2197 Is it my choice of colors or my choice of pants? 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
2198 Did we misinterpret when you said color doesn’t matter? 1.2500 0.05389 100 80 15 5
2199 So, you weren't cool enough to get in to Hell? 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2200 Are there other people like me here? 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
2201 Looks like you’ve already stayed in hell. 1.2500 0.05116 108 86 17 5
2202 Not today, Satan 1.2500 0.05000 100 78 19 3
2203 Get off my back, I was on a boys golf weekend alright? 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2204 Ah yes, it’s Jacob and the mediocre technicolour pants… you know the coat was amazing? 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
2205 You are 20 feet tall, are all of your body parts proportionally huge? 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2206 Sorry God, I couldn’t find my khakis this morning. 1.2481 0.04323 133 104 25 4
2207 You mean wearing these is LITERALLY a sin? 1.2481 0.04542 129 102 22 5
2208 I didn't think God could hit a 1 iron. 1.2480 0.04349 125 97 25 3
2209 I think we have your shirt in the lost and found. 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
2210 There I was, a one iron in hand ... 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
2211 Yes, well the whole point of these pants was not to be caught dead in them, but… 1.2478 0.05411 113 93 12 8
2212 I forgot to leave my burial wishes. 1.2478 0.05111 113 91 16 6
2213 Wait— I wasn’t expecting a dress code. 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
2214 I thought heaven would be in color ! 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
2215 We usually don’t let people with pants like those in here 1.2478 0.05111 113 91 16 6
2216 I thought we'd be on Zoom so I went with my comfy pants 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
2217 But these are my favourite pants 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
2218 No. They don’t match. 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
2219 Am I the first one here? 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
2220 C'mon, get happy! 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
2221 You’ll need to understand we don’t carty LL Bean here. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
2222 What? They're unisex, 100% cotton, and eco-friendly. Don't I get points for that? 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
2223 I’’m hoping you can find it in your heart to overlook my chequered past. 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
2224 Good Lord, you look like hell. 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
2225 Don’t go below the belt. 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
2226 My whole life was Stop & Go -- because I was too yellow to take chances. 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
2227 What if I said I was color blind? Would that help? 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
2228 Sunday? Nope, that's when I golf. 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
2229 Excuse me, have you seen my golf ball? 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
2230 Sounds like a dress code from hell. 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
2231 I’ll wait for my clubs. 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
2232 And yet you said you wouldn't be caught dead in that, huh? 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
2233 I committed a crime of fashion. 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2234 I was a fashion victim. 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2235 I lead a colorful life. Check out these pants!! 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2236 Yes, I think I'm in the right place, and no, these are not "go-to-hell pants." 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
2237 Check with God, I'll wait. 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2238 one of us will have to change. 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
2239 If I had it to do again, I wouldn't have said "I'll die if someone sees me in these." 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
2240 Can you make an iced Americano? 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
2241 Please forgive my pants. 1.2474 0.05682 97 79 12 6
2242 I understand you have a dress code, but I thought I was going to the other place. 1.2474 0.05868 97 80 10 7
2243 I couldn’t find my coat of many colors. 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
2244 I wasn't aware there was a commandment covering these pants. 1.2473 0.04751 93 71 21 1
2245 Ironic, party of one 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
2246 All my other pants were at the cleaners. Do you want me to come back? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2247 Yeah, hi. I was told there’d be Polo matches. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2248 I guess I thought you’d be more relatable. 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
2249 If I had known, do you really think I would have worn my “go to Hell” pants? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2250 Those pants are a sin. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
2251 You never could hide your checkered past! 1.2473 0.04751 93 71 21 1
2252 Welcome to what you’ll be wearing for eternity 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
2253 No kidding. Death by golf ball is a bit unusual..... 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
2254 It's the pants or heaven....your choice! 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2255 For the record, I said I was a colorful person, not a person of color. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2256 You won’t break par here either. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2257 Yes, I’m a lover of Mondrian’s work. 1.2471 0.06013 85 69 11 5
2258 If you can't tell, it was very peaceful. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
2259 Table with a golf course view, please. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
2260 My wife may have been right about these golf pants not currying any favors for me. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
2261 The Fashion Police have escalated your case. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
2262 Not even if I was wearing them ironically? 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2263 You were a horribly amoral person, but those pants are a golden ticket if I've ever seen one. 1.2463 0.04789 134 109 17 8
2264 ...and then she said, 'If you buy those, I'll have to kill you.' 1.2459 0.05115 122 100 14 8
2265 Did Ron DeSantis send you? 1.2459 0.04843 122 98 18 6
2266 Those won't work for eternity. 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
2267 I never heard about a dress code! 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2268 OK, so I did have a checkered and colorful past. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2269 St. Peter sir, it’s Darnel Struby, not Jesus H. Christ. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2270 Have you seen a golf ball by chance? 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2271 Don’t you know who I am? I want to speak to the manager. 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2272 Look, I told them what I thought they should do. 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
2273 I didn't have time to change into something more appropriate. 1.2455 0.04509 110 85 23 2
2274 So there I was, crossing the street on Nantucket, when I was run over by some guy on an ebike. 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
2275 I was hoping you’d forget about the time your wife and I played a round. 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
2276 I was very clear about combining different fabrics 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
2277 Do we really have to wear forever what we died in? I was at a theme party. 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2278 Yes, I invented the Rubik’s Cube. The Ribik’s Pants, however, were not as successful. 1.2453 0.04798 106 83 20 3
2279 I understand you’ve had a checkered past 1.2453 0.04607 106 82 22 2
2280 You lived a life free of sin, however, those pants make it all for nothing. 1.2453 0.04798 106 83 20 3
2281 Couldn’t you use a life-of-the-party type around here? 1.2453 0.04798 106 83 20 3
2282 What do you mean, I need a tux? 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
2283 You know, you were thiiiiiis close to getting in. Next! 1.2453 0.04607 106 82 22 2
2284 The gender you identify with? 1.2453 0.05330 106 86 14 6
2285 I was at brunch. 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2286 Did you really need to take me from the golf course? 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2287 No, no, I am "clowning" around. Get it? 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
2288 Well you see it was a closed casket ceremony 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
2289 Yes, the John Daly disciple foursome goes off at noon. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2290 Oh it isn't that kind of judgement day? 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2291 I kind of thought we were all going to be naked 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
2292 I made them from my cubes 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
2293 They don't work. Now what? 1.2449 0.04824 98 76 20 2
2294 If my wife joins me she won't be in heaven. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2295 The penalty seems a little stiff here for missing my tee time at the club. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
2296 I'm having an end-life crisis 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2297 What do you mean by "crime against humanity"? 1.2449 0.05439 98 79 14 5
2298 I was intersected by a rainbow on the way up. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2299 My wife gave them to me 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2300 I admire your comeuppants. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
2301 Now I see why it’s called a sudden-death playoff. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2302 I was on my way to New York Fashion Week. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
2303 Well it wasn't an uneventful death, I can tell you that! 1.2449 0.05813 98 81 10 7
2304 they didn’t have the technicolor dreamcoat in stock 1.2449 0.05439 98 79 14 5
2305 I heard this was “come as you are”. 1.2447 0.04944 94 73 19 2
2306 I'm looking for a matching coat. 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
2307 A Rubik's Cube exploded in my lap on the way here. 1.2447 0.04707 94 72 21 1
2308 That's my old email. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
2309 Basic Primary Colors Never Fail. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
2310 They wouldn't take me below....I don't know why" 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
2311 Sorry, I was told dress was casual. 1.2447 0.04944 94 73 19 2
2312 Do have any wings that go with plaid? 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
2313 There's no golfing in Heaven. 1.2447 0.05991 94 78 9 7
2314 Is that what you call your Sunday best 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
2315 People die at Grateful Dead reunions too, you know. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
2316 I was hoping you were familiar with the filmography of one Steve Martin. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
2317 …Joseph the Israelite has your coat 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
2318 My past, less so… 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
2319 Sorry, it has to be a coat. 1.2444 0.05978 90 74 10 6
2320 These are my paradise pants" 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
2321 I'm sorry sir, but we have a dress code. 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
2322 I was hoping for some blind justice! 1.2442 0.06175 86 71 9 6
2323 Remember Joseph, sir. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2324 What do you say we liven this place up a bit, Pete? 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2325 So my life choices were black and white all along?! 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2326 I wore solid pants on Sundays. 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
2327 It looks like you have a checkered past 1.2439 0.04448 123 99 19 5
2328 You again? How many times do I have to tell you, change the clown pants and I'll let you in 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
2329 The 13th hole was murder. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
2330 Can I have one more day to finish my laundry? 1.2439 0.04522 123 97 22 4
2331 This one 'fash-sin' and I don't get in??? 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2332 Wrong gate Mr. Rubik. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
2333 I thought everything went with white. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2334 J-O-S-E-P-H. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
2335 Carl requested he be buried wearing his "Cords of Many Colors" to win the favor of St. Peter. 1.2437 0.04916 119 96 17 6
2336 This is your Judgement Day 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2337 My wife is a quilter.. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2338 Who are you to judge how I dress? Are you even wearing pants? 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2339 Solid white is just not my Jam. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2340 Back to the workplace was a tough transition for me. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2341 In this case, everyone wants you to take it with you. 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2342 I thought the Big Guy would appreciate my ability to take a fashion risk. 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2343 I know the pants are a sin. 1.2435 0.04383 115 89 24 2
2344 And while you’re in purgatory, I highly recommend that you read Dress for Success. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2345 Not that kind of Soul Train. 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
2346 But I was told you’re colorblind! 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
2347 I had a heart attack on the fourth hole. 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
2348 Well yes, I was on the golf course. Why? 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
2349 But they were a gift. 1.2432 0.04473 111 86 23 2
2350 You may want to check those pants at the gate 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
2351 He also gave me a technicolor dream shirt, but I lost it. 1.2430 0.05116 107 86 16 5
2352 Hey, it's Joseph. I think I left my blazer of many colors with the coat check. 1.2427 0.05063 103 82 17 4
2353 I'm hear to see Joseph. I hear he has my coat. 1.2427 0.05426 103 84 13 6
2354 Yes, I lok like a lion. And you look ridiculous. 1.2427 0.05063 103 82 17 4
2355 I don't believe it. I just got a hole-in-one and you brought me here! 1.2427 0.05248 103 83 15 5
2356 Come on! You show up to heaven in pajama pants? 1.2427 0.05063 103 82 17 4
2357 I’m trying to put together a foursome and I hear all the lawyers are up here. 1.2427 0.05248 103 83 15 5
2358 Congratulations on your first hole in one 1.2427 0.05248 103 83 15 5
2359 Color blind faith. 1.2427 0.04672 103 80 21 2
2360 Being color blind is a sin? 1.2427 0.05063 103 82 17 4
2361 I wore these pants so you'd recognize me. From that one day I did something nice? 1.2427 0.04871 103 81 19 3
2362 I guess you CAN take it with you 1.2427 0.04672 103 80 21 2
2363 I CAN go back and get the jacket that goes with'em. 1.2424 0.04782 99 77 20 2
2364 You are lucky this is not the court of public opinion. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
2365 What do you mean I can’t enter wearing these pants? 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
2366 I’m sorry. I can’t let you in here with those pants. It’s for eternity, you know. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
2367 Yeah, my wife always thought these were a sin. 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
2368 You’re only on cloud 3 Mr Fancy Pants 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
2369 On second thought... 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
2370 Sorry, the system is still showing a no. You can try clicking refresh, or you can chat with one of our agents. 1.2424 0.04782 99 77 20 2
2371 „Finaly someone’s bringing some color to this place.“ 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
2372 I've had 'em since the seventies. 1.2421 0.04783 95 76 16 3
2373 I was in the crosswalk when they started coming from all directions. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2374 I have no excuse. 1.2421 0.05741 95 78 11 6
2375 Really? 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
2376 We have the perfect roommate for you - Joseph, who has a COAT of many colors. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2377 Sir,I am testing you first to make sure you are colorblind. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2378 So? They were on sale! 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2379 The last thing I remember is walking into some biker bar and asking directions. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2380 But I couldn't win the Republican primary unless I wore these 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2381 We have a dress code in Heaven 1.2421 0.04899 95 74 19 2
2382 My wife said to get another opinion on this pants. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2383 If you see Joseph, tell him to return my coat. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2384 Anywhere but the Country Club. 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
2385 Plaid is always in fashion 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
2386 They were just green and yellow until the accident. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
2387 So sorry, wrong place. I think you're looking for the college reunion gate. 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
2388 Okay. Sins, unbelief, not being a good boy, not reaching your potential, all shut the pearly gates. I get it. But a fricken pair of pants? Puleeze! 1.2418 0.05918 91 75 10 6
2389 Golf trousers? No, they're pajamas. Is that important? 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
2390 No, you can’t come in. You have a checkered past. 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
2391 Uh, well, I was born color blind 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
2392 What can I say, I was on the golf course at the time. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
2393 Even worse, I was killed on a golf course because of these pants. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
2394 Not sure it WAS a hate crime. 1.2418 0.04776 91 70 20 1
2395 I’ve been working from home 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
2396 Well...as an atheist, I presumed I could skip this step. 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
2397 Yes, I understand the dress code but my wife won’t let me wear white after Labor Day. 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
2398 I know I've had a checkered past... 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
2399 I was a victim of fashion police brutality. 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
2400 Relax son, a fashion faux pau is not a sin. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2401 Clothing is optional here but we do draw the line on plaid. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2402 Letting him in would be hell for everyone else. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
2403 You've gotta be kidding! 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2404 The pants make the man. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2405 I want to be easy to spot by any friends who might be up here. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2406 The pants alone are reason enough! 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2407 I honestly didn’t think Disco Fever was real 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2408 What's your handicap? 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2409 Nice pants. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2410 Hmm, I'll make a note. Lightning DOES strike twice in the same place. Thanks for letting me know. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2411 Sir, these are pajamas, I died in my sleep, please dont stare 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2412 I forgot my clubs - how do I acquire? 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2413 Unlike some major movie stars I've never had a beard. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2414 I left my jacket at home. 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2415 Those pants are pretty unforgiving. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2416 I confess this is true: I submitted the same joke about the extended car warranty to every issue of New Yorker. 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2417 Dude,wanna go back and change real quick? I can’t let you in with those pants 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2418 Wasn't sure if ridicule kills 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2419 I’d feel better about being here if I had made the putt. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2420 How was I to know the rules? 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2421 Gaudy? I wouldn’t go that far. “Saintly”, maybe. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2422 Is it always lazy Sunday in heaven? 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2423 What do you mean this isn't a party? 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2424 I hope you’ll be judging me by the fantastic martinis I whip up on the Vineyard. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2425 Yes, these are pajama bottoms. I was told I could come “just as I am”. 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
2426 Right this way,Piet. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2427 I've been good except for one thing. 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2428 So do you have any tee times open? 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2429 It’s not like we made an appointment 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
2430 Given sufficient warning I would have dressed for the occasion. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2431 Would you believe, my grandkids gave me this sinful pair? 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2432 I would be more formally dressed but Jacob borrowed my jacket 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
2433 Sir, this is a white sensation party 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
2434 Yes, I tracked Key Performance Indicators. 1.2404 0.04427 104 80 23 1
2435 When is the next available tee time? 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2436 If my lucky pants are a deal breaker I will change. 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
2437 These pants were to kill for! 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2438 I send people to the other place for wearing pants like that. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2439 Do you have wings to match my outfit? 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2440 But you commanded, let's play checkers. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2441 I thought you would forgive my checkered pants... 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
2442 Of course I regret voting for him 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2443 I was aiming for something that blends well whichever way this goes. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2444 Like my pants? 1.2400 0.05435 100 84 9 7
2445 Dress code? I'd like to speak to your supervisor!! 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
2446 Look, I've got to give you purgatory just based on the pants alone. 1.2400 0.04522 100 77 22 1
2447 I'm a big Harry Styles fan 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2448 All can be forgiven, but not those pants! 1.2397 0.04154 121 96 22 3
2449 Doctor, I am the Great Clown Pagliacci. 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2450 Soooo... You wanna see me solve my pants? 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2451 No, I never shot a birdie or an eagle. 1.2396 0.04854 96 75 19 2
2452 I didn't mean to disappoint the kids at the party. I just got the pants on, was about to put on the coat, nose and hat and Boom! A heart attack. But, you should know that. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
2453 What if I agree to sleep on the sofa? 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
2454 The devil finds work for idle hands once again. 1.2396 0.04623 96 74 21 1
2455 They do feel heavenly. 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
2456 This is cloud nine not hole 9 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
2457 Those colors do not hide your black past. 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
2458 But not one of my spiritual advisors said anything about there being a dress code. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
2459 You're in luck today. God is in a whimsical mood. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
2460 I promise….once inside, I’ll change. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
2461 The invitation didn’t mention a dress code. 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
2462 Did you happen to see a golf ball anywhere? 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2463 I'd like to reserve a tee time. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2464 Rubric cube 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
2465 And with you, the last shred of disco also dies. 1.2391 0.04731 92 71 20 1
2466 He was all whassup with the pants, so I said "Your Mom likes them." 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
2467 The mask yes; the pants no. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
2468 I died falling through the church’s stained glass window, that’s gotta count for something! 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
2469 I see you have requested a “mulligan.” 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
2470 I had a heart attack on the golf course. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
2471 I only wear white shirts. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
2472 Checkered pants do not imply a checkered past. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
2473 No, I’m afraid you do not get a mulligan… 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
2474 I’ll let you in despite your checkered pants 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2475 Getting in is hard. You might try a different look. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2476 Please tell me there's no dress code. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2477 Your notion of Purgatory is cruel and unusual. 1.2386 0.04847 88 68 19 1
2478 I had an open coffin and we have colour television in my country. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2479 Yes, I LOVE traffic lights, why do you ask? 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2480 Well, I was out golfing, and certainly didn't expect to end up here. 1.2386 0.05826 88 72 11 5
2481 About those overdue library books. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
2482 They were on sale at Brooks Brothers 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2483 The dress code is black and white! 1.2386 0.06046 88 73 9 6
2484 My brother Joseph got the jacket. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2485 HAHAHAHAAAA! 1.2386 0.06046 88 73 9 6
2486 Yes, of course I'm a square guy! 1.2385 0.05358 109 90 12 7
2487 I said, "I don't have any money on me." He said, "Poor people don't wear pants like that." Then he stabbed me. 1.2385 0.05358 109 90 12 7
2488 I thought there would be a better haircut. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
2489 Sure, if you had died on a Friday. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2490 Yes, we have all your personal information in The Cloud, but this is just too much. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2491 Okay, yes...I played a few rounds of golf with Donald Trump...and I helped him cheat...but besides that... 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2492 My point is that couch potatoes can be good people too. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2493 Morton Lewis. Seventy-six. Fashion designer. Peripheral artery disease. 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
2494 To be fair, I wouldn’t be here if I had a colorful checkered past 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2495 My suffering has ended and hers is just beginning. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2496 You’re saying my midlife crisis was poorly timed? 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
2497 My wife thought they would help my chances. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
2498 You haven't seen a Titleist 7 around here, have you? 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2499 Sorry, but I wasn't given much notice. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
2500 Don't you judge me. 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
2501 I'm Bolivian. 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2502 Here are my words of wisdom; get rid of those pants. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
2503 I'm thinking I missed the Nantucket exit. Correct? 1.2381 0.04594 105 82 21 2
2504 I signed up for the audience with the Pope without the extension! 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2505 I knew about the moral code, but never was aware you had a dress code 1.2381 0.05332 105 86 13 6
2506 I was a devout member of the Church of the Color Blind. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
2507 A table for one and some wings, please. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2508 The circus is hiring. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
2509 Sign in. Ok. I'm sorry. There is a dress code. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
2510 Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Trousers 1.2381 0.04693 105 85 16 4
2511 Well, let’s see your pants. Oh sorry! I forgot; you don’t have pants. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2512 The devil wears Prada. God wears plaid. 1.2377 0.04807 122 99 17 6
2513 If I had known there was a dress code… 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2514 I was assured that they were to die for. 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2515 It was the nature that made the golf course my Church on Sundays. 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2516 My wife picked them out. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2517 Sorry sir, the gates of heaven have always been and always will be closed to golfers 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
2518 But they're my favorites! 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2519 So “Whites” is the only washing cycle? 1.2376 0.04592 101 81 17 3
2520 These are my technicolor dreampants. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2521 If you give me ten more minutes I’ll change my pants. 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
2522 And some balloons. This party looks completely dead. 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2523 Lier, lier… pants on…. Uh? 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2524 I mean my wife said these pants were a sin but, uh what do you think? 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
2525 I have to admit I've had a checkered past. 1.2375 0.04950 80 64 14 2
2526 Is this too loud for the library? 1.2375 0.05108 80 62 17 1
2527 Your friends were right. It's unforgivable. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2528 I'm Joseph...my brothers hated my pants too. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2529 But will they be in style forever? 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2530 Hey - guess who checked out in check? 1.2373 0.04611 118 94 20 4
2531 It’s was a coat , a coat of many colors . 1.2373 0.04766 118 95 18 5
2532 If I had known this was an in person meeting, I would have changed out of my pajama pants. 1.2373 0.04611 118 94 20 4
2533 I think it's a match made in heaven. 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
2534 Just Checking 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
2535 Yes, you interrupted my video meeting. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
2536 You’re right… I don’t know how to sort these to be washed either. 1.2371 0.05633 97 80 11 6
2537 “Can I borrow your clubs?” 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
2538 It's after Labor Day. WHY should I let you in? 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
2539 Primary colors to the left. Next! 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
2540 So I said “throw them out? Over my dead body!” and here I am. 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
2541 If I'd known the parachute was defective I'd have worn something a little more muted. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2542 Well, since you wore the party pants... 1.2368 0.04874 114 92 17 5
2543 I assume there's a golf course? 1.2368 0.05419 76 62 11 3
2544 The criteria is NOT smart casual. 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
2545 Not in those pants. Go Change. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2546 Now I have time to work on my putting 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
2547 WHAT? 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
2548 This won't help you, Stanley, I'm color blind. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
2549 I'd like to be judged on the content of my character, not the color of my pants. 1.2366 0.04687 93 72 20 1
2550 I heard that Heaven is 'party' from the waist down 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
2551 They're my pandemic pants! 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
2552 Send in the Clowns 1.2366 0.04297 93 73 19 1
2553 I like to think of it as ny own original sin. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
2554 My alma mater was Clown College. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2555 That’s funny, my wife said she wouldn’t be caught dead ever wearing anything like this. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2556 There's a quiz to enter heaven??? 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2557 I’m hoping my lucky pants work better now than they did this morning. 1.2364 0.04553 110 89 17 4
2558 I thought they best represented my personality" 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2559 They said self-expression is liberating. I may have overshot the mark. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2560 You are fashionably late. 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
2561 Do you like my pants? 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
2562 When they said my pants are to die for, I really thought it was just fashionista hype. 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
2563 But I got into the Country Club in these! 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
2564 You had it locked in, eternity in Heaven...then you wore plaid! 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
2565 Are you telling me there's no golf up here? 1.2360 0.05184 89 73 12 4
2566 Denied! 2B: Thou shalt not make unto thee any gaudy images. 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
2567 I keeled over at a garage sale. 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
2568 - - but the inner me lived the straight and narrow 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
2569 Funny, you seemed more virtuous over Zoom. 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
2570 If I have to choose, I choose the pants. 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
2571 I promise as soon as I get the robe I'll get rid of them. 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
2572 But I aways thought you LIKED golf... 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
2573 Well, I didn't expect to die suddenly in an accident. And I'm not even wearing any underwear. 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
2574 Seriously?! In Heaven?! 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
2575 Color me surprised! 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
2576 Need I remind you of Matthew 7:1? 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
2577 Is your name Patches? 1.2358 0.05043 123 102 13 8
2578 Have you seen my ball? 1.2358 0.04332 123 97 23 3
2579 I died of embarrassment?! 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2580 I thought you liked stained glass! 1.2353 0.04922 85 66 18 1
2581 Yes, I'm late. Helen's still arguing with the mortician about my choice of pants. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
2582 This is the only place my wife would let me wear them. 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
2583 Dammit - I swore I wouldn’t be caught dead in these pants. 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
2584 You admitted Joseph. 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
2585 My wife said “Oh my God” when she saw my wallpaper pants - could this help my case? 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
2586 I've come before you in search of style. 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2587 Yes, it was a heart attack on the golf course. How did you know? 1.2353 0.04445 102 79 22 1
2588 You don't see my name? But I thought GoToHell pants were a style, not a direction..... 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
2589 This is not the entrance to Madras? 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
2590 Sir,I Prayed with every swing at least 19 times a week. 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2591 well at least i'm wearing pants 1.2353 0.04254 119 93 24 2
2592 If you remember the 60s, you weren't there. 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
2593 Died on the golf course, I see. 1.2353 0.05428 102 84 12 6
2594 Damn it, I said no mixed fabrics. 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
2595 My wife thought the pants would disqualify me, but I'm hoping they'll get me in. 1.2348 0.04004 132 103 27 2
2596 My only sin was committing fashion crime. 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
2597 I was playing golf. Had my first and last hole-in-one. 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
2598 I HAVE to give up golf? Or what? 1.2348 0.04676 115 92 19 4
2599 Welcome! Those pants are to die for! 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
2600 Blessed is the man who walks not in those pants. 1.2348 0.04337 115 90 23 2
2601 The invitation said 'come as you are'... 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2602 I brought Joseph’s pants of many colors. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2603 So…okay…I thought this was a Zoom call. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2604 I wore these for just this occasion. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2605 Tell me that you do have golf courses up here. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2606 Don't let my grandpa see me if these, things will happen that no one should see 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2607 I hope this doesn’t influence your decision. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2608 Can I go where the comics are in color? 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2609 Are the pants a dealbreaker? 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2610 But I can get into any country club in Florida in these pants! 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2611 Could I just go back long enough to change my pants? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2612 The pants you ask? I guess you had to be there to believe it. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2613 Where is the Member Entrance? 1.2342 0.05270 111 92 12 7
2614 Mondrian is here, but he doesn’t play golf. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
2615 Sir,we have a dress code here. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
2616 It happened so fast, I didn't have time to change. 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
2617 Sure! But, not with those pants. 1.2340 0.05542 94 77 12 5
2618 Welcome to Dad Joke Heaven, we’re plaid you are here! 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2619 My wife shot me. 1.2340 0.05223 94 78 11 5
2620 I was kind of a big deal down on Earth. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2621 Son, those slacks just got you a free ride to Hell 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2622 PLEEEEASE……St Peter……..I won’t wear these pants again! 1.2340 0.04884 94 74 18 2
2623 I wish I had more time, you know, to change. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2624 I don't know anyone here. Thought this might be a conversation starter.. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2625 Ummm, you don't look anything like your pictures" 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2626 These pants are so comfortable I feel like I've died and gone to heaven. 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
2627 I thought fashion was the key to heaven. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2628 No! I said, "Tell me about your checkered *past*!" 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
2629 Would you happen to have a matching set of wings? 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2630 I said multicoloured rain coat! 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2631 Any chance you remember a guy named Joseph? 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2632 No. It’s black and white, your pants had no effect on my decision. Next! 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2633 There's nothing you can do ... you're going straight to Hell!! 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2634 You can come in, but those pants didn't make the cut. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2635 I guess I was hoping it would come down to more than just a fashion critique. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2636 I am glad you made it. Now, let us prey. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2637 God, what did I do wrong? Besides wearing these pants? 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2638 I thought I asked you to wear your Sunday best. 1.2333 0.04984 120 99 14 7
2639 Chose the wrong day to clown around 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2640 You think it's a bit too sporty for this occasion??? 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
2641 Oh, sure. Joseph and his coat of many colors can waltz right in. But Herman and his Twister pants get the extended interview. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
2642 Don't be puzzled by my Rubik's cube pants. 1.2330 0.04720 103 84 15 4
2643 Rumor has it there’s no dress code to get in. 1.2330 0.05200 103 84 14 5
2644 Given that you're omniscient -- I take it that's rhetorical. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2645 How plaid do you want it? 1.2330 0.04407 103 80 22 1
2646 These trousers never die 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2647 Yes, I know these pants are a crime. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2648 I'm just happy fashion crimes aren't mortal sins. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2649 Yes, there’s even a dress code up here. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2650 These pajamas were a gift from my grandkids. If I knew I was seeing you today I would have dressed more appropriately 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
2651 Do you think these pants make me fat? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2652 This is Fashion Hell, and you are sentenced to these pants forever 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2653 You want my verdict? Return them to Walmart. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
2654 You may deny me, but you cannot deny my sense of fashion. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
2655 I figured with all the sinners in Hell, I’d have no problem getting a tee time here. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2656 They thought my pants were too loud in Hell. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
2657 Ernö Rubik, table for one. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
2658 To get in, you have to pass with flying colors. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
2659 Excuse me, I'm looking for a Titleist 3. 1.2323 0.05339 99 81 13 5
2660 Gee, we haven't had anyone from the Hamptons here for a while. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2661 Come on Peter, everyone takes His name in vain on the golf course! 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2662 Well, then, show me your pants so I can see what you mean. 1.2323 0.05339 99 81 13 5
2663 I won't attempt to deny my checkered past. 1.2323 0.04725 99 78 19 2
2664 Did you have to kill me on the golf course? 1.2323 0.04501 99 77 21 1
2665 Go and sin no more. You can return in five years, maybe, but wear different pants. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2666 Hmm, you know, I did have my identity stolen a while back. Maybe check under Joe? 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2667 I had the same problem telling traffic lights apart, too. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2668 Oh sure, you can part the water 5000 years ago, but not ONCE on the 14th hole! 1.2323 0.04501 99 77 21 1
2669 Is it the pants? 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2670 Too funky for heaven, too unserious for hell 1.2323 0.04385 99 79 18 2
2671 I wanted to piss off the Far Right... 1.2321 0.04909 112 91 16 5
2672 Is this an exclusive club or can anyone enter? 1.2321 0.04909 112 91 16 5
2673 We have a comedian at Gate 5 …. 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
2674 I'm sure those pants broke some sort of Commandment! 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
2675 This would be the last time he’d sidetrack a conversation with his Slacks of Theseus debate. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2676 I think you're a fit for the golfing section. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2677 Well, look who is talking. You could have done better yourself. A lot better. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2678 I'm sorry, "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamslacks" just doesn't have the same ring. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2679 Does my membership in PETA help? 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
2680 No one asked if I wanted a shirt 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2681 Did you by any chance see a Titleist land around here? 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2682 Since when is Heaven business casual? 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2683 I came dressed for pearly gates. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2684 What’s the Wi-Fi password? 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2685 Yes, his name is Joseph and he stole my Dreamcoat. 1.2316 0.04601 95 74 20 1
2686 Sorry, I gave the matching coat to my son Joe when he went off to college. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
2687 I should've worn a tie. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2688 Mr. Jones, I think those pants you wear take credit for any Purgatory time. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2689 Appearances to the contrary, I do not have a checkered past. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2690 But they told me my club membership is honored everywhere. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
2691 I see now - why your wife wanted you dead. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2692 Well now I’m dying of embarrassment. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2693 I was told there’d be theme nights. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2694 Only pants can go through, you don't qualify 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2695 I laid down the boogie and played that funky music. Next thing I know, I'm here. 1.2315 0.04284 108 84 23 1
2696 “That is my login, I’m the special character!” 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
2697 No, I would not agree that they are a quote unquote crime against humanity. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
2698 You should have solved those trousers before coming here. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
2699 I’m actually surprised I’m not in Hell, considering all the times my wife said I murdered fashion. 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
2700 Your tee time is 3 o'clock today. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
2701 And to think, my wife called these pants ungodly. 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
2702 Are those Bode? 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
2703 So when you said you wouldn't be 'caught dead' wearing those... 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2704 Well, well, well... if it isn't Mr. Fancy Pants. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
2705 I wish I could say I'm in no place to judge. 1.2308 0.05863 91 76 9 6
2706 Sorry St. Peter, I died while I was golfing 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
2707 No, you're fine. Bad taste isn't a mortal sin. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
2708 It's the clan madras tartan ...I am surprised you had to ask. 1.2308 0.04961 91 72 17 2
2709 Don't judge me til you've seen the jacket. 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
2710 Please St. Peter, let me in. I had no idea the Amish were so sensitive to bright colors! 1.2308 0.05863 91 76 9 6
2711 They said you were the keeper of the keys - boy have I got a car for YOU! 1.2308 0.05651 91 75 11 5
2712 Well, um, yes . . . I guess you could call them sinful. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
2713 My pants are too loud for heaven!? 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2714 I see you've committed crimes of fashion. 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
2715 I had just finished the round of my life when you called me home. 1.2308 0.04708 91 71 19 1
2716 Am I cleared for golf? 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
2717 I was hoping this would be a festive occasion. 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
2718 You’re good to enter, but first those hellishly gaudy pants must stay out. 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
2719 nan 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2720 I know you were shooting under par, but your time on earth was up. 1.2308 0.05651 91 75 11 5
2721 Not with those pants! The down escalator is to the left. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2722 I dig those pants! Come on in! 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
2723 C'mon! Let me in! I know Jesus loves to play golf. 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
2724 Let's see...Joseph, coat of many color 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
2725 You kept asking people to "solve your pants". Very clever, but it still makes you a sex offender. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
2726 I know they’re called go to hell pants, but… 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
2727 But it’s casual Friday… 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
2728 Wrong floor. 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2729 They told me I'd get in by the seat of my pants. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2730 Just between you and Me- Twinzies. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2731 No sir, I don't own a gun. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2732 Of course they’re not in the Book—they’re the latest thing! 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2733 Well, I suppose I have had a rather colorful past, but only below the waist … 1.2300 0.04683 100 79 19 2
2734 I thought we were clear about this, the only rule for getting into heaven is don't mix your fabrics. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2735 You see, I was trying to bring a splash of color to this magazine... 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
2736 Do I have to wear all white? 1.2300 0.05478 100 83 11 6
2737 Not wearing white after Labor Day-Congratulations! You’re in ! 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2738 Sir, you are dressed for a hand basket. 1.2300 0.05291 100 82 13 5
2739 I hope you didn’t just let in a guy wearing a coat of many colors. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2740 Wait- there’s a fashion commandment? 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2741 How long will I have to wear these? 1.2299 0.05827 87 72 10 5
2742 - “Exsqueeze me, I was just wondering if perchance this was heaven for cool brochachos like myself?” - “No.” 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2743 No, you can't play through... 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2744 You up for a round? 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
2745 There's supposed to be a matching jacket, but some guy named Joe got the last one. 1.2299 0.06052 87 73 8 6
2746 Do you play Twister here? 1.2299 0.05472 87 73 9 5
2747 I wanted to color your judgment. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2748 Been in purgatory, eh Come on in. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2749 I don't care how good you were. Your wardrobe was awful. 1.2299 0.04823 87 68 18 1
2750 I heard this is the last resort. 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
2751 I got clobbered with an iron because of these pants! 1.2299 0.05827 87 72 10 5
2752 Yes, but THIS isn’t your home office. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2753 What happens if I yell "fore" and no one is alive to hear it? 1.2299 0.05222 87 72 11 4
2754 Yes, you’ll have to change. It’s a policy. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2755 I worked from home to death. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2756 I just thought wearing my cocktail party pants would get your attention. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2757 I was told ‘shirt / shoes, no problem’… 1.2299 0.04823 87 68 18 1
2758 Well, yes. My idea of Heaven is playing golf every day! 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
2759 Looks like someone didn't get the memo. 1.2299 0.05827 87 72 10 5
2760 I judge you to be… funky. 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
2761 I should be on the list. I was told to meet Joseph and coordinate? 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
2762 This is your final judgement and you chose to wear those? 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
2763 The cleaners are still looking for my jacket. 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
2764 Your lifetime of deeds would usually allow you in. But those slacks are only acceptable in Hell.. . 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
2765 And then the clown used my shirt as a napkin. 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
2766 These cartoons are getting more moronic every week 1.2292 0.04794 96 76 18 2
2767 No one told you we have a dress code? 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
2768 I am the Heaven fashion police I am your first gate keeper. 1.2292 0.04183 96 76 19 1
2769 Your wife gets in, but you don't 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
2770 Eternity is a long time to spend in plain chinos. 1.2292 0.05437 96 79 12 5
2771 So what is your excuse now? 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 1