These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.
Name | Value |
---|---|
Submission deadline | 2022-07-31T19:25:00.000Z |
Voting started | - |
Voting ended | 2022-08-14T19:36:00.000Z |
Finalists announced | 2022-08-08T19:36:00.000Z |
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued | August 15, 2022 |
Number of captions | 5410 |
Number of responses | 700760 |
Number of participants | - |
In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.
Rank | Caption | Mean | Precision | Total votes | "Unfunny" votes | "Somewhat funny" votes | "Funny" votes |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
0 | Pleasing people is all I know, but you wouldn't understand. | 2.0186 | 0.01607 | 2531 | 804 | 876 | 851 |
1 | It’s just so frustrating: every time I bring the ball the back, he just throws it again. | 1.9373 | 0.01593 | 2409 | 816 | 928 | 665 |
2 | It's easy for you to say; you always land on your feet. | 1.9297 | 0.01570 | 2545 | 894 | 936 | 715 |
3 | Also, they never even told me I was adopted. | 1.9137 | 0.01631 | 2364 | 854 | 860 | 650 |
4 | This isn’t exactly what I had in mind when I signed up to be a therapy dog. | 1.9100 | 0.01633 | 2466 | 931 | 826 | 709 |
5 | It's like you can't even sniff someone's butt anymore. | 1.9078 | 0.01563 | 2615 | 967 | 922 | 726 |
6 | I've started drinking out of the toilet again. | 1.8989 | 0.01116 | 5400 | 2115 | 1716 | 1569 |
7 | I'm asking a cat for help. Does that answer your question? | 1.8963 | 0.01595 | 2537 | 964 | 872 | 701 |
8 | It's always "who's a good boy?" and never "how's the good boy"? | 1.8767 | 0.01744 | 1930 | 700 | 768 | 462 |
9 | No one asks how I’m feeling, they just look at my tail and assume. | 1.8760 | 0.01577 | 2315 | 827 | 948 | 540 |
10 | Are you sure it's okay for me to be on the couch? | 1.8717 | 0.01596 | 2377 | 891 | 900 | 586 |
11 | Then one day, I asked myself... where does he get all these bones? | 1.8710 | 0.01722 | 2101 | 807 | 758 | 536 |
12 | Well, naturally I wouldn't expect you to understand what it means to have a bitch for a mother. | 1.8707 | 0.01713 | 2282 | 930 | 717 | 635 |
13 | Sometimes, I don't want to come when I'm called - you know? | 1.8551 | 0.01557 | 2395 | 894 | 954 | 547 |
14 | Are you sure that I’m allowed on the couch? | 1.8442 | 0.01525 | 2581 | 1007 | 969 | 605 |
15 | What do you mean? Of course I want to be fixed. That's why I'm here." | 1.8437 | 0.01900 | 1727 | 694 | 609 | 424 |
16 | It wags nonstop, but I just don't 'feel' happy. | 1.8305 | 0.01586 | 2218 | 838 | 918 | 462 |
17 | It's nice to have a place where I'm allowed on the couch. | 1.8294 | 0.01445 | 2714 | 1040 | 1097 | 577 |
18 | C’mon, we had my breakthrough. Where’s my treat? | 1.8258 | 0.01540 | 2561 | 1039 | 929 | 593 |
19 | I just don't understand why she had to bring H.R. into it. I mean, that's just the proper way to say hello. | 1.8242 | 0.02694 | 933 | 412 | 273 | 248 |
20 | She just left me,doc. And I didn't see her again for another five,maybe even six,hours. | 1.8186 | 0.01865 | 1775 | 738 | 621 | 416 |
21 | I don't think you understand the pressure of being his best friend. | 1.8173 | 0.01604 | 2315 | 939 | 860 | 516 |
22 | I've been moody, unfriendly, and sleeping 16 hours a day. And you say that's perfectly normal? | 1.8118 | 0.01649 | 2280 | 961 | 787 | 532 |
23 | What I really want to know is, am I a good boy? | 1.8105 | 0.02066 | 1372 | 556 | 520 | 296 |
24 | Your office is the only place I’m allowed on the couch. | 1.8058 | 0.01453 | 2817 | 1164 | 1036 | 617 |
25 | And then I wake up and it’s my own tail. | 1.8056 | 0.01575 | 2371 | 972 | 888 | 511 |
26 | Loving tuna. hating playing fetch, and total disinterest in humans made me realize I'm a cat trapped in a dog's body. | 1.7959 | 0.01640 | 2362 | 1040 | 764 | 558 |
27 | I'm always barking up the wrong tree. | 1.7930 | 0.01295 | 3817 | 1698 | 1211 | 908 |
28 | I consider him a friend, just not a BEST friend. | 1.7926 | 0.01606 | 2165 | 875 | 864 | 426 |
29 | So I brought her a half-dead mouse, just like you told me to, and she said I'm a bad dog. | 1.7916 | 0.01601 | 2385 | 1029 | 824 | 532 |
30 | I guess I'm just ready to be my own best friend. | 1.7858 | 0.01713 | 2003 | 849 | 734 | 420 |
31 | Why did she have to rub my face in it? I was just a puppy. | 1.7854 | 0.01920 | 1640 | 709 | 574 | 357 |
32 | Please don't tell me to get off the couch | 1.7762 | 0.01580 | 2466 | 1097 | 824 | 545 |
33 | But, is he my best friend? | 1.7662 | 0.01993 | 1407 | 596 | 544 | 267 |
34 | You know, half the time - I don't know what he's even saying! | 1.7635 | 0.01722 | 1987 | 876 | 705 | 406 |
35 | All I can think about is chasing you around the room. | 1.7625 | 0.01631 | 2219 | 981 | 784 | 454 |
36 | Nope. I still want to chase you. | 1.7585 | 0.01532 | 2398 | 1034 | 909 | 455 |
37 | I can’t help but wonder if she’ll ever see me as more than just a good boy | 1.7556 | 0.01598 | 2062 | 856 | 854 | 352 |
38 | And you were in my dream. And it was raining us. | 1.7547 | 0.01845 | 1814 | 837 | 585 | 392 |
39 | I can do Zen-like aloofness until someone throws a ball. | 1.7543 | 0.01568 | 2324 | 1019 | 857 | 448 |
40 | I think I'm a bad dog. | 1.7501 | 0.01602 | 2237 | 991 | 814 | 432 |
41 | I’m just tired of always being the good boy. | 1.7463 | 0.02495 | 879 | 380 | 342 | 157 |
42 | So I was a middle child - 1 of 10. And never really knew my father. | 1.7434 | 0.01889 | 1602 | 716 | 581 | 305 |
43 | Sometimes I feel you don’t understand a word I say. | 1.7327 | 0.01867 | 1661 | 762 | 581 | 318 |
44 | First it was sit, then lie down, and now you want me to pay for it!? | 1.7313 | 0.01923 | 1656 | 789 | 523 | 344 |
45 | She sat,but she didn’t stay. | 1.7170 | 0.02091 | 1297 | 603 | 458 | 236 |
46 | And then he saw another dog and said, ‘Aren’t you a good boy?’ as if I wasn’t even there. | 1.7169 | 0.02094 | 1399 | 683 | 429 | 287 |
47 | And please don't ring the bell when our time is up. It just makes me hungry. | 1.7155 | 0.02380 | 1023 | 483 | 348 | 192 |
48 | This is the only place I'm allowed on the couch. | 1.7100 | 0.02082 | 1431 | 711 | 424 | 296 |
49 | I know it's a problem! I mean look who I came to for help. | 1.7089 | 0.02223 | 1144 | 538 | 401 | 205 |
50 | And then he rubbed my nose in it. It was humiliating. It wasnt even mine! | 1.7079 | 0.02221 | 1188 | 572 | 391 | 225 |
51 | In this new dream, it's only raining cats. | 1.7064 | 0.02257 | 1141 | 548 | 380 | 213 |
52 | I dream I'm running through a field with a stick in my mouth and I'm completely naked. | 1.7001 | 0.02308 | 1247 | 657 | 307 | 283 |
53 | Excuse me, but are you purring? | 1.6995 | 0.02322 | 1055 | 506 | 360 | 189 |
54 | Who IS a ‘good boy’? | 1.6990 | 0.02375 | 990 | 470 | 348 | 172 |
55 | I know I look like a dog, but I identify as a human. | 1.6987 | 0.02407 | 1039 | 516 | 320 | 203 |
56 | It’s awkward because I’m his best friend, but to me he’s just a roommate. | 1.6970 | 0.02335 | 1099 | 546 | 340 | 213 |
57 | How do I tell him he's not my best friend? | 1.6924 | 0.02281 | 1193 | 610 | 340 | 243 |
58 | I’m usually not allowed on the couch | 1.6895 | 0.02276 | 1182 | 602 | 345 | 235 |
59 | And its not just fire hydrants and trees anymore. | 1.6833 | 0.02378 | 1042 | 524 | 324 | 194 |
60 | I can´t bark at strangers anymore, I even like postmen. | 1.6824 | 0.02539 | 828 | 394 | 303 | 131 |
61 | I destroyed my bed, now I have to lie in it. | 1.6793 | 0.02804 | 711 | 349 | 241 | 121 |
62 | …And it was then I realized fetch is nothing more than a symbol for the utter futility of the canine condition. | 1.6785 | 0.03118 | 591 | 295 | 191 | 105 |
63 | After my vet visit, I seem to have lost my sex drive. | 1.6785 | 0.02428 | 1073 | 567 | 284 | 222 |
64 | You wouldn't understand. I need people to like me. | 1.6776 | 0.02457 | 1039 | 547 | 280 | 212 |
65 | Well,sure, easy for you to say. You always seem to land on your feet. | 1.6761 | 0.02418 | 1028 | 529 | 303 | 196 |
66 | I keep telling myself it's just instinct, but the fact is I enjoyed it. | 1.6742 | 0.02662 | 792 | 393 | 264 | 135 |
67 | No,no. It wasn’t a Freudian slip. My mother really is a bitch. | 1.6710 | 0.02648 | 924 | 501 | 226 | 197 |
68 | The pressure to be a good boy is overwhelming for me. | 1.6701 | 0.03341 | 491 | 242 | 169 | 80 |
69 | His newspapers are all online and now I'm worried that the slippers are next. | 1.6663 | 0.02794 | 818 | 443 | 205 | 170 |
70 | Then I said to him, "Don't be such a pussy." Oh, wait... | 1.6653 | 0.02776 | 750 | 384 | 233 | 133 |
71 | First off. Sorry about your bonsai tree. | 1.6650 | 0.03910 | 391 | 204 | 114 | 73 |
72 | ...but deep down I know I'm not a good boy. | 1.6609 | 0.02520 | 932 | 487 | 274 | 171 |
73 | I need to stop living for them and ignore them like you. | 1.6594 | 0.02547 | 922 | 486 | 264 | 172 |
74 | I tried to be a good boy. I fetched, I sat, I heeled, but then they left that roast on the counter...... | 1.6591 | 0.02555 | 921 | 487 | 261 | 173 |
75 | Then I realized that he didn't actually throw the ball. And that's why I think I have trust issues. | 1.6587 | 0.02620 | 879 | 466 | 247 | 166 |
76 | But am I really a good boy? Why do they keep asking? | 1.6582 | 0.02556 | 863 | 441 | 276 | 146 |
77 | I mean, it's like he expects me to be his best friend! | 1.6554 | 0.02634 | 830 | 431 | 254 | 145 |
78 | I come home bone tired and they make me take them for a walk | 1.6536 | 0.02860 | 687 | 353 | 219 | 115 |
79 | It's just... If he really thinks I'm a good boy, why does he keep asking me who's a good boy? | 1.6532 | 0.02773 | 767 | 405 | 223 | 139 |
80 | but I only have one life to live! | 1.6527 | 0.02928 | 645 | 329 | 211 | 105 |
81 | I try to see the water bowl as half full, but it’s hard sometimes. | 1.6492 | 0.02987 | 573 | 282 | 210 | 81 |
82 | Easy for you to say. I have only one life. | 1.6489 | 0.02716 | 786 | 414 | 234 | 138 |
83 | I’m Canine but I identify as Feline | 1.6485 | 0.02795 | 791 | 432 | 205 | 154 |
84 | But what if I’m actually barking up the right tree? | 1.6467 | 0.02840 | 719 | 380 | 213 | 126 |
85 | My siblings and I were considered litter. | 1.6436 | 0.03221 | 564 | 301 | 163 | 100 |
86 | Deep down, I'm a cat person. | 1.6399 | 0.03232 | 536 | 281 | 167 | 88 |
87 | And you’ve never NOT run to the door when they get home? | 1.6395 | 0.02996 | 602 | 310 | 199 | 93 |
88 | I started drinking.... from the toilet again. | 1.6358 | 0.02974 | 681 | 374 | 181 | 126 |
89 | Lately she just doesn't seem interested in smelling my butt." | 1.6355 | 0.03137 | 620 | 343 | 160 | 117 |
90 | What happened to the mouse that came in before me? | 1.6315 | 0.03220 | 597 | 335 | 147 | 115 |
91 | As you can see, I'm making great progress on my impulse control issues. Sorry about last week. | 1.6314 | 0.03253 | 510 | 266 | 166 | 78 |
92 | "My head says he's coming back from work, but my heart says he's left forever." | 1.6313 | 0.02888 | 670 | 356 | 205 | 109 |
93 | As I'm a 'therapy dog'..... this is really embarrassing. | 1.6283 | 0.03172 | 573 | 311 | 164 | 98 |
94 | So they ask "who's a good boy?" and sometimes I don't even know anymore | 1.6270 | 0.03235 | 555 | 303 | 156 | 96 |
95 | Of course I'm anxious. I'm not even supposed to be on this couch. | 1.6254 | 0.03185 | 598 | 335 | 152 | 111 |
96 | You'e a cat person; I don't expect you to understand. | 1.6243 | 0.02900 | 668 | 360 | 199 | 109 |
97 | I find my relationships are delicate balancing acts between true unconditional love and the base need for a biscuit. | 1.6234 | 0.03074 | 608 | 332 | 173 | 103 |
98 | At first it was just a bandana, then with the sweaters and the booties, and next thing you know I’m working at citibank. | 1.6232 | 0.03696 | 475 | 277 | 100 | 98 |
99 | I’d really prefer to sit | 1.6212 | 0.03026 | 586 | 310 | 188 | 88 |
100 | And she just expects me to roll over. | 1.6192 | 0.03198 | 562 | 309 | 158 | 95 |
101 | So the bones I bury are my true feelings? | 1.6170 | 0.03481 | 470 | 258 | 134 | 78 |
102 | I feel an overwhelming urge to chase you around the room. | 1.6169 | 0.02971 | 603 | 320 | 194 | 89 |
103 | Best part of therapy is being allowed on the couch. | 1.6162 | 0.03242 | 555 | 309 | 150 | 96 |
104 | What do you mean "He doesn't own you. You own him"? | 1.6157 | 0.03397 | 471 | 253 | 146 | 72 |
105 | I hear it ten, maybe twenty times a day, but I just don’t FEEL like a good boy. | 1.6156 | 0.02967 | 614 | 329 | 192 | 93 |
106 | I only come to get up on the couch. | 1.6131 | 0.03587 | 442 | 244 | 125 | 73 |
107 | It’s always ‘who’s a good boy’ but never ‘how’s the good boy.’ | 1.6131 | 0.03331 | 535 | 302 | 138 | 95 |
108 | So I finally caught the car and you were right...I didn't know what to do with it. | 1.6124 | 0.03261 | 534 | 298 | 148 | 88 |
109 | I sometimes think of what my life could’ve been, if it wasn’t for the constant distraction of squirrels. | 1.6122 | 0.03175 | 557 | 306 | 161 | 90 |
110 | Don't you ever wish people would say it's raining and just stop there? | 1.6111 | 0.03244 | 540 | 302 | 149 | 89 |
111 | and after she showed me the box with the sand, you won't believe what she wanted me to do! | 1.6111 | 0.03444 | 468 | 256 | 138 | 74 |
112 | At least here I’m allowed on the couch. | 1.6076 | 0.03438 | 474 | 262 | 136 | 76 |
113 | When you say “dig deeper” is that a metaphor, or should the hole actually be bigger? | 1.6067 | 0.03277 | 511 | 280 | 152 | 79 |
114 | I've been struggling to accept the fact that my bark is not worse than my bite. | 1.6063 | 0.03310 | 442 | 228 | 160 | 54 |
115 | Oh sure, I wag my tail, but I'm just going through the motions. | 1.6062 | 0.03248 | 480 | 253 | 163 | 64 |
116 | You wouldn’t understand the constant pressure being ‘Man’s Best Friend.’ | 1.6029 | 0.03199 | 544 | 302 | 156 | 86 |
117 | Tell me, since when is it a crime to sniff butts? | 1.6000 | 0.03472 | 480 | 273 | 126 | 81 |
118 | I’m not like you doc, I’m worried I won’t land on my feet. | 1.6000 | 0.03426 | 470 | 261 | 136 | 73 |
119 | No matter how many times I bring back her toy, she keeps on throwing it! | 1.6000 | 0.03145 | 570 | 320 | 158 | 92 |
120 | Lately we've been fighting like... well, you know. | 1.5993 | 0.03277 | 539 | 307 | 141 | 91 |
121 | I find this sooo stressful! I'm not usually allowed on the couch. | 1.5992 | 0.03388 | 504 | 287 | 132 | 85 |
122 | Are you sure it is OK for us to be on the furniture? | 1.5975 | 0.03434 | 487 | 277 | 129 | 81 |
123 | The voice inside my head is yelling "GET OFF THE COUCH!" | 1.5975 | 0.03831 | 400 | 230 | 101 | 69 |
124 | And then I bring it to him AGAIN, and he just throws it back. I feel like he doesn’t even WANT the ball I’m bringing him, you know? | 1.5966 | 0.03505 | 466 | 265 | 124 | 77 |
125 | I feel like I'm constantly chasing something that I'll never catch. | 1.5954 | 0.03341 | 435 | 229 | 153 | 53 |
126 | Let’s cut to the chase. | 1.5950 | 0.03366 | 479 | 266 | 141 | 72 |
127 | They don’t know it’s therapy - I tell them I chase you for 50 minutes every Tuesday | 1.5929 | 0.03470 | 479 | 275 | 124 | 80 |
128 | This isn't what I was expecting when I volunteered to be a therapy dog! | 1.5920 | 0.03766 | 424 | 249 | 99 | 76 |
129 | I just found out I was adopted. | 1.5918 | 0.03650 | 441 | 256 | 109 | 76 |
130 | Why do they keep asking? I'm a good boy. | 1.5880 | 0.03349 | 517 | 300 | 130 | 87 |
131 | I was barking up the wrong tree. | 1.5860 | 0.03542 | 401 | 218 | 131 | 52 |
132 | I keep worrying whether, deep down, am I really a good boy? | 1.5856 | 0.03491 | 444 | 250 | 128 | 66 |
133 | They're coming back, right? You're sure they're coming back. | 1.5854 | 0.03464 | 451 | 254 | 130 | 67 |
134 | When he shouts "Lay down," not "Lie down," I want to rip his throat out. It comes from my mother. | 1.5846 | 0.03634 | 467 | 281 | 99 | 87 |
135 | That’s easy for you to say, you have nine of them. | 1.5846 | 0.03275 | 467 | 254 | 153 | 60 |
136 | I want the ball, but I don't WANT to want the ball. | 1.5842 | 0.03850 | 392 | 229 | 97 | 66 |
137 | For starters, I'm not the 'good boy' everyone thinks I am. | 1.5822 | 0.03501 | 438 | 247 | 127 | 64 |
138 | and then I started thinking, what if I'm not a good boy? | 1.5815 | 0.03707 | 368 | 202 | 118 | 48 |
139 | Do you ever wonder if you’re a good boy? | 1.5814 | 0.03551 | 430 | 244 | 122 | 64 |
140 | First, thanks for letting me on the couch. | 1.5799 | 0.03517 | 438 | 249 | 124 | 65 |
141 | Every night I lie awake , haunted by the question . . . who’s a good boy? . . . Is it me??? | 1.5798 | 0.03602 | 445 | 261 | 110 | 74 |
142 | Her last words were "Get Help", so here I am. | 1.5792 | 0.03977 | 385 | 232 | 83 | 70 |
143 | When they said I should see Dr. Katz, I just expected--well, I don't know what I expected. | 1.5792 | 0.03663 | 404 | 230 | 114 | 60 |
144 | Explain to me again what the purpose of the laser pointer is? | 1.5791 | 0.04072 | 316 | 177 | 95 | 44 |
145 | The trouble is, I don’t believe that I am a good boy. | 1.5773 | 0.03935 | 362 | 210 | 95 | 57 |
146 | Am I really a good boy or are they lying? | 1.5765 | 0.03610 | 392 | 218 | 122 | 52 |
147 | Sit!” “Stay!” “Fetch!” It’s just one demand after another! I can’t take it anymore | 1.5764 | 0.03730 | 373 | 209 | 113 | 51 |
148 | Would it kill you to at least look curious? | 1.5747 | 0.03230 | 482 | 267 | 153 | 62 |
149 | If I were a cat, I'd feel no need to explain anything. | 1.5734 | 0.03965 | 361 | 212 | 91 | 58 |
150 | I feel like my co-workers don't want to play ball. | 1.5722 | 0.03697 | 395 | 227 | 110 | 58 |
151 | This last year has felt like seven years…. | 1.5719 | 0.04048 | 306 | 170 | 97 | 39 |
152 | And...I'm really fighting the urge to chase you around the room right now. | 1.5718 | 0.03729 | 376 | 213 | 111 | 52 |
153 | ‘’And it’s like, I’m his best friend but he’s not mine.’’ | 1.5701 | 0.03891 | 328 | 184 | 102 | 42 |
154 | I no longer identify as canine. | 1.5698 | 0.04120 | 344 | 206 | 80 | 58 |
155 | They completely abandoned me for several minutes a day | 1.5695 | 0.03721 | 367 | 206 | 113 | 48 |
156 | I had that same dream again where I can’t find a fire hydrant. | 1.5684 | 0.04137 | 329 | 194 | 83 | 52 |
157 | My wife makes me go to the bathroom outside. | 1.5684 | 0.04796 | 234 | 135 | 65 | 34 |
158 | First off, I want to thank you for letting me on the couch. | 1.5678 | 0.03693 | 391 | 225 | 110 | 56 |
159 | I hope you work out better than my previous therapist, Dr. Squirrel. | 1.5678 | 0.03675 | 391 | 224 | 112 | 55 |
160 | If I'm his best friend, why is he sleeping with that woman? | 1.5676 | 0.04054 | 340 | 200 | 87 | 53 |
161 | Yes. It's about the squirrel. It's always about the squirrel. | 1.5671 | 0.03778 | 365 | 208 | 107 | 50 |
162 | I've always been a people pleaser. It's my tragic flaw. I don't know if you can relate. | 1.5655 | 0.04059 | 313 | 178 | 93 | 42 |
163 | I don't want to learn new tricks. Does that make me a bad dog? | 1.5652 | 0.03604 | 391 | 221 | 119 | 51 |
164 | Sometimes I wonder if I really am a good boy.” | 1.5645 | 0.03805 | 349 | 197 | 107 | 45 |
165 | First of all, thanks for letting me on the couch. | 1.5634 | 0.03983 | 355 | 211 | 88 | 56 |
166 | ‘If I had more than one life to live, I really could’ve made a difference’ | 1.5629 | 0.03795 | 334 | 185 | 110 | 39 |
167 | I would feel more validated if you'd stop purring while I share the trauma of my neutering surgery. | 1.5608 | 0.03831 | 378 | 224 | 96 | 58 |
168 | Are you sure it’s okay to be on the couch? | 1.5600 | 0.04226 | 325 | 197 | 74 | 54 |
169 | My wife says that all I think about is chasing tails. | 1.5586 | 0.03853 | 333 | 188 | 104 | 41 |
170 | Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?" You just can't understand the pressure. | 1.5583 | 0.04126 | 326 | 194 | 82 | 50 |
171 | What am I thinking? that I would rather chew this couch than lie on it. | 1.5582 | 0.03701 | 378 | 218 | 109 | 51 |
172 | Actually, I'm feeling fine - it's just nice to have somewhere I'm allowed on the couch. | 1.5581 | 0.04022 | 344 | 205 | 86 | 53 |
173 | If I'm being honest, I'd rather have nine lives than learn new tricks. | 1.5581 | 0.03775 | 353 | 201 | 107 | 45 |
174 | I know you’re my therapist, but can you please stop saying, “it’s a dog eat dog world?” | 1.5576 | 0.04065 | 330 | 195 | 86 | 49 |
175 | For just once, I’d like to be the one in the relationship that throws the stick. | 1.5556 | 0.03934 | 342 | 200 | 94 | 48 |
176 | Some times it feels like I’m barking up the wrong tree | 1.5552 | 0.04024 | 281 | 154 | 98 | 29 |
177 | This is the only place I am allowed on the furniture | 1.5549 | 0.03970 | 328 | 190 | 94 | 44 |
178 | I'm afraid The New Yorker is losing interest in cartoons with dogs. | 1.5528 | 0.03753 | 369 | 215 | 104 | 50 |
179 | ...and then one day I went to lick my balls and they weren't there. | 1.5524 | 0.04576 | 286 | 178 | 58 | 50 |
180 | I have this recurring dream where nothing in The New Yorker is funny anymore. | 1.5515 | 0.04164 | 359 | 228 | 64 | 67 |
181 | Turned out my bite was worse than my bark. | 1.5513 | 0.04588 | 263 | 158 | 65 | 40 |
182 | First of all, my mother was a bitch. | 1.5507 | 0.04015 | 345 | 208 | 84 | 53 |
183 | I like everybody. Is that bad? | 1.5497 | 0.04072 | 302 | 174 | 90 | 38 |
184 | I just wish someone were excited when I come home. | 1.5495 | 0.04106 | 333 | 202 | 79 | 52 |
185 | My mom was a real bitch and my dad was a Great Dane so I think I’ve got some kind of Hamlet complex. | 1.5490 | 0.04635 | 255 | 153 | 64 | 38 |
186 | Explain to me again why it’s so wrong to want people to like me. | 1.5478 | 0.04032 | 314 | 183 | 90 | 41 |
187 | I don’t think it’s fair that you bill me in dog hours | 1.5469 | 0.04209 | 309 | 186 | 77 | 46 |
188 | She always makes me beg for it. | 1.5467 | 0.03950 | 364 | 223 | 83 | 58 |
189 | I mean, it’s their fault they left the shoes out, right? | 1.5467 | 0.04332 | 300 | 183 | 70 | 47 |
190 | I just never thought I'd be a therapy dog." | 1.5466 | 0.04062 | 311 | 182 | 88 | 41 |
191 | Maybe you'd find me more interesting if I were a bird. | 1.5460 | 0.04091 | 337 | 206 | 78 | 53 |
192 | He says wants someone younger, smaller, hypoallergenic. | 1.5458 | 0.04368 | 273 | 161 | 75 | 37 |
193 | Time's up? I'm on dog years. | 1.5458 | 0.04306 | 273 | 159 | 79 | 35 |
194 | She puts the garbage right where I can get and that’s my fault? | 1.5457 | 0.03878 | 328 | 189 | 99 | 40 |
195 | I play with cat toys when she leaves for work | 1.5455 | 0.03851 | 352 | 208 | 96 | 48 |
196 | I understand it's awkward, but you're the only one in-network | 1.5448 | 0.04313 | 290 | 174 | 74 | 42 |
197 | sometimes a bone is just a bone | 1.5443 | 0.04076 | 327 | 197 | 82 | 48 |
198 | But who's MY best friend? | 1.5442 | 0.04025 | 351 | 216 | 79 | 56 |
199 | No matter how many times I bring him the ball, it feels like it's never enough. | 1.5436 | 0.04131 | 344 | 215 | 71 | 58 |
200 | No,I'm not projecting...my mother really IS a bitch. | 1.5434 | 0.03913 | 357 | 219 | 85 | 53 |
201 | You can’t imagine how hard it is to fake happiness when all they want from you is to fetch a tennis ball again and again. | 1.5425 | 0.04217 | 306 | 185 | 76 | 45 |
202 | I know my time’s up but It’s raining and what if there’s thunder? | 1.5417 | 0.04129 | 312 | 187 | 81 | 44 |
203 | I think deep inside I'm a people pleaser, do you know what I mean? | 1.5411 | 0.03914 | 316 | 182 | 97 | 37 |
204 | I always like everyone. That can’t be normal. | 1.5411 | 0.04264 | 292 | 175 | 76 | 41 |
205 | And it was all the cat's fault - but I got blamed . . . | 1.5410 | 0.04400 | 268 | 159 | 73 | 36 |
206 | I know you don’t care, but can you at least pretend to listen? | 1.5410 | 0.03989 | 329 | 196 | 88 | 45 |
207 | I don’t think you understand. I have only ONE life to live. | 1.5405 | 0.03882 | 346 | 206 | 93 | 47 |
208 | I realize now my mother was a bitch. | 1.5401 | 0.04479 | 274 | 167 | 66 | 41 |
209 | I don't want to be a therapy dog. | 1.5401 | 0.04006 | 337 | 204 | 84 | 49 |
210 | That "good boy" crap is so demeaning: I'm a dog, and I have a name! | 1.5398 | 0.04382 | 289 | 177 | 68 | 44 |
211 | And then, it turned out she had the ball in the hand the whole time. | 1.5391 | 0.04716 | 230 | 136 | 64 | 30 |
212 | What happened to that mouse who was before me? | 1.5382 | 0.04526 | 275 | 170 | 62 | 43 |
213 | Well, I'm usually not allowed on the couch... | 1.5378 | 0.03900 | 344 | 206 | 91 | 47 |
214 | Am I really a good boy if they keep asking? | 1.5374 | 0.04188 | 294 | 175 | 80 | 39 |
215 | There must be more to life than being a good boy. | 1.5366 | 0.04665 | 246 | 149 | 62 | 35 |
216 | Sure, I'm his best friend, but who's MY best friend? | 1.5360 | 0.04488 | 278 | 172 | 63 | 43 |
217 | To begin with,my mother was a bitch. | 1.5356 | 0.04663 | 267 | 168 | 55 | 44 |
218 | I did what you said. I ignored her, brought her a dead bird and threw up on the carpet. She still would not let me eat off her plate. | 1.5349 | 0.03893 | 301 | 171 | 99 | 31 |
219 | So I fetched the ball and she threw it again. And again. And again. Eventually I stopped, I just don’t know what she wants anymore. | 1.5345 | 0.04408 | 275 | 167 | 69 | 39 |
220 | You mean I’m NOT a good boy? | 1.5340 | 0.04060 | 309 | 184 | 85 | 40 |
221 | I've been trying to take your advice and hold back, but when I hear that key in the door, it's like a little bell goes off in my head. | 1.5340 | 0.04262 | 309 | 192 | 69 | 48 |
222 | Your approach is surprisingly dogmatic. | 1.5337 | 0.03839 | 341 | 202 | 96 | 43 |
223 | He threw the ball, I saw him throw it, but next thing I know it's back in his hand as if nothing happened. It's been going on for years now and I still fall for it. Maybe on some level I want to be deceived. | 1.5335 | 0.04018 | 343 | 212 | 79 | 52 |
224 | I just found out I'm neutered. | 1.5329 | 0.04342 | 304 | 191 | 64 | 49 |
225 | So whaddya say, doc? Can you prescribe me one of those therapy humans? | 1.5328 | 0.04316 | 259 | 151 | 78 | 30 |
226 | I keep asking myself, "Who's a good boy? Who? Who?" | 1.5321 | 0.04199 | 280 | 165 | 81 | 34 |
227 | Can anyone really be a good boy? | 1.5312 | 0.04856 | 224 | 136 | 57 | 31 |
228 | I feel like I've wasted my whole life barking up the wrong tree. | 1.5298 | 0.03890 | 319 | 187 | 95 | 37 |
229 | Easy for you to say, Doc; but I only have one life to live. | 1.5296 | 0.04162 | 321 | 200 | 72 | 49 |
230 | I don't want to be obedient. You understand don't you? | 1.5290 | 0.04173 | 293 | 176 | 79 | 38 |
231 | How does it make me feel to chase a car? You can't be serious. | 1.5288 | 0.04097 | 278 | 161 | 87 | 30 |
232 | When she's not home, I like to wear my wife's flea collar. | 1.5279 | 0.04454 | 269 | 165 | 66 | 38 |
233 | Well, for starters, my mother was a bitch. | 1.5270 | 0.04278 | 296 | 183 | 70 | 43 |
234 | Sometimes I feel like all I’m doing is chasing my own tail. | 1.5262 | 0.03711 | 325 | 186 | 107 | 32 |
235 | I’m so tired of pretending, every time he comes home, that I’m happy to see him. | 1.5261 | 0.04499 | 268 | 166 | 63 | 39 |
236 | To this day, I don't know why he'd tell his teacher that. I mean, homework is not even edible. | 1.5257 | 0.04508 | 272 | 170 | 61 | 41 |
237 | Am I a good boy? | 1.5257 | 0.03915 | 350 | 216 | 84 | 50 |
238 | My mother was a bitch. | 1.5256 | 0.04312 | 293 | 182 | 68 | 43 |
239 | The New Yorker never chooses my caption. | 1.5248 | 0.04581 | 282 | 182 | 52 | 48 |
240 | I do that whenever I meet someone for the first time — it’s just how I say hello. | 1.5229 | 0.03960 | 306 | 181 | 90 | 35 |
241 | It seems like I’m always in the doghouse. | 1.5219 | 0.04077 | 297 | 178 | 83 | 36 |
242 | I do everything asked of me, but I’m always just ‘good’. | 1.5217 | 0.03914 | 322 | 193 | 90 | 39 |
243 | It's a dog's life. You wouldn't understand. | 1.5214 | 0.04447 | 257 | 156 | 68 | 33 |
244 | can we agree squirrels are the enemy here, at least? | 1.5214 | 0.04500 | 234 | 138 | 70 | 26 |
245 | Sometimes I lie awake wondering - what happens when I actually catch my tail? | 1.5212 | 0.04353 | 259 | 155 | 73 | 31 |
246 | Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a therapy dog. | 1.5209 | 0.04534 | 263 | 164 | 61 | 38 |
247 | I ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog. And I cry all the time. | 1.5204 | 0.04089 | 319 | 198 | 76 | 45 |
248 | So you’re saying when your person comes home you actually want to see them ? | 1.5199 | 0.04110 | 277 | 163 | 84 | 30 |
249 | I'm tired of just rolling over | 1.5197 | 0.04572 | 229 | 136 | 67 | 26 |
250 | Who is a good boy,really? | 1.5191 | 0.04384 | 262 | 159 | 70 | 33 |
251 | Sometimes I feel like I’m not actually that good a boy. | 1.5190 | 0.04731 | 237 | 147 | 57 | 33 |
252 | I know it sounds silly to you, but I care what the family thinks about me. | 1.5189 | 0.04325 | 264 | 159 | 73 | 32 |
253 | Must you purr when I describe my anxiety? | 1.5189 | 0.04336 | 291 | 185 | 62 | 44 |
254 | ...and so is this "squirrel" in the room with us right now? | 1.5185 | 0.08804 | 81 | 54 | 12 | 15 |
255 | Like you care. | 1.5185 | 0.04909 | 216 | 133 | 54 | 29 |
256 | I dreamt of chasing you again. | 1.5180 | 0.03665 | 334 | 194 | 107 | 33 |
257 | I don't want to be anyone's best friend. | 1.5179 | 0.04262 | 280 | 171 | 73 | 36 |
258 | I’m starting to think that my owners are cat people. | 1.5177 | 0.04269 | 282 | 173 | 72 | 37 |
259 | This feels strange, I'm not usually allowed on the couch. | 1.5175 | 0.04753 | 228 | 140 | 58 | 30 |
260 | My father was a barker, my grandfather was a barker… I just feel like I have something more complex to say. | 1.5174 | 0.04388 | 259 | 157 | 70 | 32 |
261 | Unlike you, I actually like humans. | 1.5174 | 0.04456 | 259 | 159 | 66 | 34 |
262 | Why am I so obsessed with being the good boy? | 1.5171 | 0.04214 | 292 | 180 | 73 | 39 |
263 | I feel like you're ignoring me. | 1.5159 | 0.04515 | 252 | 155 | 64 | 33 |
264 | Well, the even deeper question is why we're dressed like this. | 1.5158 | 0.04350 | 285 | 179 | 65 | 41 |
265 | All my life, I’ve just been striving to be a good boy. | 1.5156 | 0.04133 | 289 | 175 | 79 | 35 |
266 | All I want is to make them happy. Do you think I'm co-dependent? | 1.5150 | 0.04755 | 233 | 145 | 56 | 32 |
267 | I thought she stayed home more because she loved me, not because of a virus | 1.5146 | 0.04485 | 274 | 174 | 59 | 41 |
268 | Why doI have to wait till the end of the session for my treat? | 1.5133 | 0.04203 | 263 | 156 | 79 | 28 |
269 | In hindsight, peeing on the floor may have been a cry for help. | 1.5126 | 0.04524 | 238 | 144 | 66 | 28 |
270 | This isn’t working. Can I chase you? | 1.5123 | 0.04206 | 285 | 177 | 71 | 37 |
271 | If I'm really such a good boy, why does he keep questioning it? | 1.5122 | 0.04489 | 246 | 150 | 66 | 30 |
272 | Good dog. Bad dog. Sit. Fetch. Roll over. I tell ya it's enough to drive ya crazy. | 1.5115 | 0.04249 | 262 | 157 | 76 | 29 |
273 | Despite all the breakthroughs and help you’ve given me, I still find it very, very hard to resist the urge to murder you. | 1.5112 | 0.04501 | 268 | 170 | 59 | 39 |
274 | I feel it’s unfair that I only get one life to live. | 1.5109 | 0.04364 | 274 | 171 | 66 | 37 |
275 | He only pretended to throw the ball. | 1.5106 | 0.04487 | 235 | 141 | 68 | 26 |
276 | "I've been drinking from the toilet at the office." | 1.5097 | 0.04755 | 206 | 123 | 61 | 22 |
277 | He told me his wife is his best friend. | 1.5092 | 0.04211 | 271 | 164 | 76 | 31 |
278 | Okay, I'll lie down, but I won't roll over. | 1.5089 | 0.04735 | 224 | 138 | 58 | 28 |
279 | I know it was just a stick, but it was my stick! | 1.5087 | 0.05476 | 173 | 108 | 42 | 23 |
280 | But if I'm not his best friend, then... who am I | 1.5071 | 0.04768 | 211 | 128 | 59 | 24 |
281 | I think I’m too much of a people-pleaser. You ever feel like that? | 1.5067 | 0.04835 | 223 | 140 | 53 | 30 |
282 | Nobody understands that I'm a cat person. | 1.5063 | 0.04500 | 237 | 144 | 66 | 27 |
283 | He’s gonna know I was on this couch. | 1.5063 | 0.04664 | 239 | 150 | 57 | 32 |
284 | Well, my first corporate meeting was going absolutely great until some joker tossed a yellow tennis ball across the floor --- and you can imagine what happened next! | 1.5059 | 0.04476 | 255 | 159 | 63 | 33 |
285 | Both my parents were people pleasers too. | 1.5057 | 0.04296 | 261 | 159 | 72 | 30 |
286 | Do you know how much pressure it is to constantly be told you're a good boy? | 1.5057 | 0.04373 | 263 | 163 | 67 | 33 |
287 | But AM I a good boy? | 1.5052 | 0.04862 | 194 | 116 | 58 | 20 |
288 | It's always 'Who's a good boy?" never 'How's a good boy?' | 1.5050 | 0.03870 | 301 | 179 | 92 | 30 |
289 | Are you sure I'm allowed on the couch? | 1.5049 | 0.05224 | 204 | 132 | 41 | 31 |
290 | Then he said 'fetch', but he hadn't thrown the ball yet. | 1.5046 | 0.05083 | 216 | 140 | 43 | 33 |
291 | I’m tired of obeying people. I heard you can help with this issue. | 1.5046 | 0.04920 | 218 | 138 | 50 | 30 |
292 | I lick what I lick...is that so wrong? | 1.5042 | 0.04446 | 238 | 144 | 68 | 26 |
293 | I can't learn any new tricks. | 1.5042 | 0.04497 | 240 | 147 | 65 | 28 |
294 | So you’re saying I can ignore them and they will still pay attention to me? | 1.5038 | 0.04433 | 266 | 168 | 62 | 36 |
295 | Is it normal to want to bite your therapist? | 1.5024 | 0.04850 | 209 | 129 | 55 | 25 |
296 | I'm MAN'S best friend. Stop asking me about my mother! | 1.5022 | 0.04591 | 225 | 137 | 63 | 25 |
297 | My worse day is being left alone, also known as your perfect day. | 1.5020 | 0.04402 | 247 | 151 | 68 | 28 |
298 | I'm just not a people person. | 1.5000 | 0.04503 | 222 | 133 | 67 | 22 |
299 | What can I say? My mother was a bitch! | 1.5000 | 0.04650 | 240 | 152 | 56 | 32 |
300 | I can’t seem to just live for myself. I’m such a people-pleaser! | 1.5000 | 0.04628 | 244 | 155 | 56 | 33 |
301 | and then they just didn’t throw it. how am i supposed to trust them?? | 1.5000 | 0.04903 | 206 | 128 | 53 | 25 |
302 | Sometimes it feels like you're completely uninterested in me. | 1.4980 | 0.04172 | 247 | 146 | 79 | 22 |
303 | I chose you because I thought Dr. Katz was Jewish” | 1.4979 | 0.04794 | 233 | 150 | 50 | 33 |
304 | I'm normally not allowed on the couch. | 1.4978 | 0.04668 | 231 | 145 | 57 | 29 |
305 | I dunno. I probably am a people-pleaser. | 1.4972 | 0.05055 | 181 | 110 | 52 | 19 |
306 | You know, your constant reminders that you're allowing me on your couch aren't particularly helpful | 1.4954 | 0.04700 | 218 | 135 | 58 | 25 |
307 | I'm tellin' ya doc, every time they leave it's like they're not gonna come back! | 1.4949 | 0.04999 | 198 | 124 | 50 | 24 |
308 | We fight like ... well, you know. | 1.4949 | 0.04161 | 297 | 189 | 69 | 39 |
309 | I feel as if I’m chasing my tail all day. | 1.4948 | 0.03986 | 289 | 176 | 83 | 30 |
310 | I tried to be aloof,just like you said. But I really just wanted to lick her face! | 1.4946 | 0.05054 | 184 | 113 | 51 | 20 |
311 | This isn’t working out: I’m too eager to please and you’re just indifferent. | 1.4932 | 0.04911 | 221 | 143 | 47 | 31 |
312 | Why can’t they fetch for once? | 1.4929 | 0.04999 | 211 | 136 | 46 | 29 |
313 | Am I still a good boy, doc? | 1.4928 | 0.04932 | 207 | 131 | 50 | 26 |
314 | I don’t think you understand how tough it is to have just one life. | 1.4927 | 0.04272 | 274 | 173 | 67 | 34 |
315 | Sometimes I feel that I’m not a good boy. | 1.4926 | 0.04123 | 270 | 165 | 77 | 28 |
316 | "Sit, Fetch, Come, Go, Take it, Leave it, Roll over," ... I don't feel I'm living up to my full potential. | 1.4924 | 0.04180 | 262 | 160 | 75 | 27 |
317 | At home, I'm not allowed on the couch. | 1.4923 | 0.04898 | 195 | 120 | 54 | 21 |
318 | They keep telling me to ‘heal, heal.’ Don’t they know I want that too? | 1.4923 | 0.05109 | 195 | 124 | 46 | 25 |
319 | They're working me like a dog. I wouldn't expect you to understand. | 1.4919 | 0.04499 | 248 | 157 | 60 | 31 |
320 | I’m torn between unconditional loyalty to my master… and the Constitution. | 1.4918 | 0.04591 | 244 | 156 | 56 | 32 |
321 | They leave me no choice but to do it in public! People pretend not to notice, but believe me, they can’t look away! | 1.4918 | 0.04517 | 244 | 154 | 60 | 30 |
322 | You wouldn't understand this, Doc, but she keeps me on such a short leash! | 1.4917 | 0.04418 | 240 | 148 | 66 | 26 |
323 | I'm tired of being a good dog. | 1.4916 | 0.04324 | 238 | 144 | 71 | 23 |
324 | On top of all that, my new boss is a squirrel. | 1.4914 | 0.04925 | 232 | 154 | 42 | 36 |
325 | “He said I was his best friend. Then he up and goes to work.” | 1.4899 | 0.04736 | 198 | 120 | 59 | 19 |
326 | She kept calling me “a good boy” but it never felt like she meant it. | 1.4890 | 0.04297 | 227 | 135 | 73 | 19 |
327 | It's not the same – you always land on your feet! | 1.4888 | 0.05299 | 178 | 113 | 43 | 22 |
328 | I don't know why but I'm feeling a lot of innate agression towards you. | 1.4884 | 0.04465 | 215 | 129 | 67 | 19 |
329 | And in my performance review he kept asking, "Who's a good dog?" while looking right at me. I felt so vulnerable. | 1.4879 | 0.04979 | 207 | 133 | 47 | 27 |
330 | Who's a good dog? Who's a good dog?" I can't stand the pressure. Why doesn't anyone ever ask, "Who's a good cat? | 1.4879 | 0.04979 | 207 | 133 | 47 | 27 |
331 | I keep asking myself , "Who is a good boy?" | 1.4877 | 0.05005 | 203 | 130 | 47 | 26 |
332 | In my recurring dream, I'm chasing my analyst. | 1.4865 | 0.04502 | 222 | 136 | 64 | 22 |
333 | But how do I get HIM to stay? | 1.4865 | 0.05148 | 185 | 117 | 46 | 22 |
334 | What do humans want? | 1.4848 | 0.06223 | 132 | 85 | 30 | 17 |
335 | It's the Fifth of July, why do you think I'm here? | 1.4847 | 0.04531 | 229 | 143 | 61 | 25 |
336 | How do you do it doc? How can you just ignore them? | 1.4847 | 0.04878 | 196 | 122 | 53 | 21 |
337 | Maybe you could pretend to care.” | 1.4844 | 0.04785 | 192 | 117 | 57 | 18 |
338 | I feel so needy. You can't possibly understand. | 1.4842 | 0.04935 | 190 | 118 | 52 | 20 |
339 | And then I really was eating the homework. | 1.4840 | 0.04727 | 219 | 139 | 54 | 26 |
340 | I'm a cat trapped in a dog's body. I don't fetch, I don't accept the first dinner offered me, and I don't respond when called. | 1.4834 | 0.04719 | 211 | 132 | 56 | 23 |
341 | …and then I realized he HADN’T thrown the ball, and really I think that’s where my trust issues started. | 1.4833 | 0.05254 | 180 | 115 | 43 | 22 |
342 | 'Who's a good boy?' 'Who's a good boy?' It never lets up. You have no idea. | 1.4821 | 0.05404 | 168 | 107 | 41 | 20 |
343 | I seem to want to please everyone all the time. Can you help me? | 1.4813 | 0.04670 | 214 | 134 | 57 | 23 |
344 | My biggest fear is winding up as a sad joke in the New Yorker. | 1.4813 | 0.04809 | 214 | 137 | 51 | 26 |
345 | That’s easy for you to say. It’s not called a “cat-eat-cat” world. | 1.4813 | 0.04900 | 214 | 139 | 47 | 28 |
346 | All this time I was chasing you, I was really just running away from myself. | 1.4811 | 0.05069 | 212 | 141 | 40 | 31 |
347 | I envy your indifference, doc. I'm a people pleaser. | 1.4809 | 0.04445 | 235 | 147 | 63 | 25 |
348 | What exactly do you mean when you say I need to be fixed? | 1.4803 | 0.05676 | 152 | 97 | 37 | 18 |
349 | On the Internet, nobody knows I'm a dog. | 1.4800 | 0.05654 | 150 | 95 | 38 | 17 |
350 | I wanna be a good boy, Doc, really I do. | 1.4800 | 0.04502 | 225 | 140 | 62 | 23 |
351 | And then I caught…the car. | 1.4800 | 0.04646 | 200 | 122 | 60 | 18 |
352 | … but how do I ignore them and still get treats? | 1.4796 | 0.04601 | 196 | 118 | 62 | 16 |
353 | I can’t sleep, I don’t eat, and I haven’t drunk from the toilet in weeks. | 1.4795 | 0.04637 | 219 | 138 | 57 | 24 |
354 | The mailman came again today | 1.4793 | 0.05314 | 169 | 107 | 43 | 19 |
355 | I just don't think his leg loves me back. | 1.4793 | 0.04759 | 217 | 139 | 52 | 26 |
356 | I"m beginnning to question whether or not I am a 'good boy.' | 1.4792 | 0.04784 | 192 | 118 | 56 | 18 |
357 | I keep having this recurring dream that I’m chasing you and we’re not wearing these stupid suits. | 1.4787 | 0.05042 | 211 | 140 | 41 | 30 |
358 | It’s always ‘that’s a good boy.’ But what if I want to be great? | 1.4787 | 0.04813 | 211 | 135 | 51 | 25 |
359 | Sorry I chased you around the room. I still need help with urges, right? | 1.4783 | 0.04557 | 230 | 146 | 58 | 26 |
360 | Frankly, Dr. Mittens, my mother was a bitch. | 1.4781 | 0.04457 | 251 | 162 | 58 | 31 |
361 | Doctor, I'd like to stress the fact that I only have one life. | 1.4779 | 0.04617 | 226 | 144 | 56 | 26 |
362 | Since when is it sexual harassment to hump someone's leg? | 1.4776 | 0.04941 | 201 | 129 | 48 | 24 |
363 | Call me old-fashioned, but some places should never be sniffed. | 1.4774 | 0.04927 | 199 | 127 | 49 | 23 |
364 | Weren't we happier without the suits? | 1.4771 | 0.04560 | 218 | 136 | 60 | 22 |
365 | I’m loyal to you as my therapist, but I somehow feel that you are aloof, emotionally distant, and—at times—even toying with me. | 1.4769 | 0.04730 | 216 | 138 | 53 | 25 |
366 | I’d be a lot less anxious if I just had nine of them. | 1.4757 | 0.04496 | 206 | 125 | 64 | 17 |
367 | So you’re saying if I just ignore them I’ll get even more treats?!” | 1.4751 | 0.05052 | 181 | 114 | 48 | 19 |
368 | Sure, your wife is a queen. Mine's a bitch. | 1.4751 | 0.04781 | 221 | 144 | 49 | 28 |
369 | The catnip you prescribed isn't doing a thing for me." | 1.4742 | 0.04685 | 213 | 135 | 55 | 23 |
370 | The truth is, I wouldn’t know what to do with my tail if I caught it. | 1.4742 | 0.04637 | 213 | 134 | 57 | 22 |
371 | Every other executive officer has a fire hydrant in their office | 1.4740 | 0.05157 | 173 | 109 | 46 | 18 |
372 | I want to be my own best friend. | 1.4740 | 0.04839 | 192 | 120 | 53 | 19 |
373 | The 4th of July is even worse than the doorbell. | 1.4737 | 0.05332 | 171 | 110 | 41 | 20 |
374 | Can you elaborate when you say, " You can lick this" ? | 1.4734 | 0.04881 | 207 | 134 | 48 | 25 |
375 | What if chasing pussy IS the entire point of life? | 1.4729 | 0.04326 | 277 | 183 | 57 | 37 |
376 | He keeps asking, “ Who’s a good boy?” I just don’t know! The pressure has been getting to me lately. | 1.4727 | 0.05543 | 165 | 108 | 36 | 21 |
377 | I worry that you’ll just scratch the surface | 1.4722 | 0.05071 | 180 | 114 | 47 | 19 |
378 | Because this is the only place I'm allowed on the couch. | 1.4718 | 0.05801 | 142 | 91 | 35 | 16 |
379 | I think you can understand why I'm reluctant to tell you anything. | 1.4714 | 0.04339 | 227 | 140 | 67 | 20 |
380 | What's wrong with me? Nobody ever wants to smell my butt! | 1.4712 | 0.04913 | 191 | 121 | 50 | 20 |
381 | I’m too much the people pleaser. | 1.4706 | 0.05047 | 187 | 120 | 46 | 21 |
382 | And you’re actually sad when they leave??? Interesting. Very interesting | 1.4706 | 0.05159 | 187 | 122 | 42 | 23 |
383 | Doc, I don't think you'll ever understand my problem with obedience. | 1.4702 | 0.05200 | 168 | 106 | 45 | 17 |
384 | The Supreme Court worries me, we're next, you know. | 1.4693 | 0.05152 | 179 | 115 | 44 | 20 |
385 | How the heck do our shoes stay on? | 1.4686 | 0.04428 | 239 | 153 | 60 | 26 |
386 | Have you tried pretending you don’t know your name | 1.4684 | 0.05796 | 158 | 106 | 30 | 22 |
387 | I suppose I would be willing to try a litter box | 1.4683 | 0.04817 | 205 | 132 | 50 | 23 |
388 | Now that you mention it, I might very well be barking up the wrong tree. | 1.4683 | 0.04717 | 205 | 130 | 54 | 21 |
389 | I had that dream again where I'm on stage without clothes and someone keeps yelling, "Squirrel"! | 1.4681 | 0.05301 | 188 | 126 | 36 | 26 |
390 | He threw the ball, but when I turned around, it was still in his hand. | 1.4677 | 0.04770 | 186 | 115 | 55 | 16 |
391 | But do I rely on their approval too much? | 1.4676 | 0.04541 | 216 | 136 | 59 | 21 |
392 | What if it's me and not the mailman? | 1.4675 | 0.05617 | 154 | 100 | 36 | 18 |
393 | But deep down, I don't feel like a good boy. | 1.4670 | 0.04961 | 197 | 128 | 46 | 23 |
394 | Tell you about my mother? Well, she’s real bitch of course …” | 1.4670 | 0.04470 | 227 | 144 | 60 | 23 |
395 | Even now I feel an overpowering urge to chase you, Doctor. | 1.4667 | 0.04732 | 210 | 135 | 52 | 23 |
396 | Don't take this the wrong way, but then she called me a pussy... | 1.4653 | 0.04767 | 202 | 129 | 52 | 21 |
397 | and it’s like, but what if this time they really don’t come back? | 1.4650 | 0.04956 | 200 | 131 | 45 | 24 |
398 | So you're saying that all these years I've been barking up the wrong tree? | 1.4649 | 0.04749 | 228 | 152 | 46 | 30 |
399 | Sit. Stay. Roll over. The pressure to perform really gets to ya, doc. | 1.4644 | 0.04346 | 239 | 152 | 63 | 24 |
400 | Get ON the couch, you say! Get OFF the couch, they say! | 1.4640 | 0.04497 | 222 | 141 | 59 | 22 |
401 | I don’t know about your mother, but mine was a bitch! | 1.4633 | 0.05131 | 177 | 114 | 44 | 19 |
402 | There are some days I don’t feel like a walk. | 1.4624 | 0.04889 | 186 | 118 | 50 | 18 |
403 | Why? I lick 'em because I can lick 'em, that's why. | 1.4623 | 0.05024 | 199 | 132 | 42 | 25 |
404 | Is it wrong that I want to chase my therapist? | 1.4619 | 0.04907 | 197 | 128 | 47 | 22 |
405 | Thanks for pretending to care. | 1.4611 | 0.05006 | 180 | 115 | 47 | 18 |
406 | Nor, I'll wager, have you ever been accused of eating anyone's homework. | 1.4606 | 0.05403 | 165 | 108 | 38 | 19 |
407 | Fetch this, fetch that. I’m not even a retriever. | 1.4605 | 0.04648 | 215 | 139 | 53 | 23 |
408 | Please stop asking if I’m a good boy. | 1.4605 | 0.04601 | 215 | 138 | 55 | 22 |
409 | I’ve always felt like the last pick of the litter | 1.4603 | 0.04773 | 189 | 119 | 53 | 17 |
410 | This is the only place I’m allowed up on the furniture. | 1.4601 | 0.05167 | 163 | 103 | 45 | 15 |
411 | Doc, I see cats everywhere! | 1.4598 | 0.04932 | 174 | 109 | 50 | 15 |
412 | Me chasing you in my dreams is ok, isn’t it? | 1.4592 | 0.05081 | 196 | 131 | 40 | 25 |
413 | Are you actually writing any of this down or is that a laser pointer you’re playing with? | 1.4588 | 0.05478 | 170 | 114 | 34 | 22 |
414 | I just can’t stop rolling over. | 1.4588 | 0.04797 | 194 | 124 | 51 | 19 |
415 | Sure, I shake paws but the whole time I'm thinking "Can I smell your butt. | 1.4588 | 0.05068 | 194 | 129 | 41 | 24 |
416 | this is the only couch I don't feel guilty lying in | 1.4587 | 0.04538 | 242 | 161 | 51 | 30 |
417 | I’m told ‘get down’ so often, it’s no wonder I’m down. | 1.4586 | 0.05225 | 181 | 120 | 39 | 22 |
418 | Do you think I'm too emotionally available? | 1.4586 | 0.05283 | 181 | 121 | 37 | 23 |
419 | It's like some days "Good Boy!" just isn't enough, you know? | 1.4579 | 0.04663 | 214 | 139 | 52 | 23 |
420 | ...till one day I found out that I was adopted" | 1.4573 | 0.04972 | 199 | 132 | 43 | 24 |
421 | What if my bark isn’t worse than my bite? | 1.4571 | 0.04531 | 210 | 133 | 58 | 19 |
422 | I'm not allowed on the couch. | 1.4571 | 0.04430 | 210 | 131 | 62 | 17 |
423 | So what happens when I just don’t feel like being a ‘good boy’ anymore? | 1.4570 | 0.04826 | 186 | 118 | 51 | 17 |
424 | I just need to be told I'm a good boy every once in a while, you know? | 1.4565 | 0.04864 | 184 | 117 | 50 | 17 |
425 | So, you think I’m too eager to please? | 1.4564 | 0.04317 | 241 | 155 | 62 | 24 |
426 | I keep having this recurring nightmare that the mailman is chasing me... | 1.4564 | 0.05592 | 149 | 97 | 36 | 16 |
427 | All I ever wanted was to be a therapy dog, not a dog in therapy. | 1.4563 | 0.05736 | 160 | 109 | 29 | 22 |
428 | Last week you told me to take control of my life, to mark my territory. And I did. And that landed me in the doghouse. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if you have my best interest at heart. | 1.4561 | 0.05194 | 171 | 111 | 42 | 18 |
429 | You sniff one butt at an office party, and everyone acts like they don't know you anymore. | 1.4561 | 0.05515 | 171 | 116 | 32 | 23 |
430 | Am I really "a good boy?" | 1.4560 | 0.04902 | 182 | 116 | 49 | 17 |
431 | I am licking myself more than usual. You are an expert. Can you help me? | 1.4556 | 0.05102 | 169 | 108 | 45 | 16 |
432 | Sometimes I get the feeling you just don't care. | 1.4554 | 0.04435 | 213 | 134 | 61 | 18 |
433 | If anyone can help me land on my feet, it's you. | 1.4552 | 0.05871 | 145 | 97 | 30 | 18 |
434 | some mornings, i wake up, take a good long look in the mirror and wonder if i really am a good boy | 1.4550 | 0.04758 | 222 | 149 | 45 | 28 |
435 | I feel I should be chasing you... | 1.4545 | 0.04686 | 187 | 117 | 55 | 15 |
436 | Yes doctor, I am fighting the urge to chase you. | 1.4545 | 0.04807 | 187 | 119 | 51 | 17 |
437 | Things have been ruff. | 1.4545 | 0.04624 | 187 | 116 | 57 | 14 |
438 | Ok,yes,I admit it,I hate cats. | 1.4541 | 0.04525 | 207 | 131 | 58 | 18 |
439 | It’s like, I know I’m a good boy, but I just need constant reassurance. Does that make me needy? | 1.4536 | 0.04567 | 194 | 121 | 58 | 15 |
440 | Well it’s easy to blame my mother. She was a bitch. | 1.4529 | 0.05215 | 170 | 114 | 37 | 19 |
441 | It's worth the $85 an hour to be allowed to sit on the couch | 1.4528 | 0.04645 | 212 | 138 | 52 | 22 |
442 | I fantasize about chasing you. | 1.4524 | 0.05123 | 168 | 108 | 44 | 16 |
443 | Somehow, Doc, I can't help but feel like you're silently judging me. | 1.4522 | 0.05455 | 157 | 103 | 37 | 17 |
444 | I only have one life to live. | 1.4516 | 0.04943 | 186 | 121 | 46 | 19 |
445 | What kind of sicko would leave a headless mouse on my doorstep? | 1.4516 | 0.04926 | 217 | 149 | 38 | 30 |
446 | He abandoned me again today. | 1.4515 | 0.04743 | 206 | 135 | 49 | 22 |
447 | If I can just know how you get all the attention without even trying” | 1.4513 | 0.04491 | 195 | 121 | 60 | 14 |
448 | Pants make my tail hurt. How about you? | 1.4511 | 0.05157 | 184 | 123 | 39 | 22 |
449 | This may just be transference, but I'd love to chase you. | 1.4503 | 0.05057 | 171 | 110 | 45 | 16 |
450 | I'm a cat person. | 1.4502 | 0.04756 | 211 | 140 | 47 | 24 |
451 | You don't understand what it's like to never land on your feet. | 1.4500 | 0.04679 | 180 | 112 | 55 | 13 |
452 | I was fine, until they insisted that I dress the way they dress. | 1.4500 | 0.04689 | 200 | 129 | 52 | 19 |
453 | I haven’t slept since Timmy fell down the well. | 1.4497 | 0.05168 | 169 | 110 | 42 | 17 |
454 | I've chased all my past therapists away. | 1.4497 | 0.05589 | 149 | 98 | 35 | 16 |
455 | Do YOU feel like there is a point to bringing the ball back? | 1.4494 | 0.04977 | 178 | 115 | 46 | 17 |
456 | I’ve always felt like a poodle inside. | 1.4492 | 0.04495 | 187 | 115 | 60 | 12 |
457 | I just feel like we’re speaking a different language | 1.4490 | 0.04757 | 196 | 127 | 50 | 19 |
458 | I'm beginning to think you don't relate to me. | 1.4485 | 0.05187 | 165 | 107 | 42 | 16 |
459 | I don't care if Marvin is a cat, I can't help my attraction to him. | 1.4485 | 0.04902 | 194 | 128 | 45 | 21 |
460 | Maybe it's my anxiety talking, but when they leave, do we ever really know they'll be back? | 1.4483 | 0.05443 | 145 | 93 | 39 | 13 |
461 | I have to "stop seeking approval?" How do you even DO that? | 1.4481 | 0.05234 | 183 | 124 | 36 | 23 |
462 | May I please just cut to the chase? | 1.4477 | 0.05297 | 172 | 115 | 37 | 20 |
463 | But on the inside I was howling. | 1.4472 | 0.05280 | 161 | 105 | 40 | 16 |
464 | And then I just started licking. | 1.4472 | 0.06131 | 123 | 81 | 29 | 13 |
465 | Of course, I blame my mother. She was a bitch. | 1.4467 | 0.05796 | 150 | 102 | 29 | 19 |
466 | I’m sensing a lack of empathy from you. | 1.4464 | 0.05188 | 168 | 110 | 41 | 17 |
467 | I just long for the old days when chasing you up a tree didn't require me to make an appointment. | 1.4462 | 0.05170 | 186 | 126 | 37 | 23 |
468 | I never really got over being house trained. | 1.4462 | 0.04717 | 195 | 126 | 51 | 18 |
469 | What do you mean, 'is this my first life?' | 1.4457 | 0.05038 | 184 | 122 | 42 | 20 |
470 | You're saying I'm far too loyal? | 1.4457 | 0.04978 | 184 | 121 | 44 | 19 |
471 | So you say my dreams of being a cat are merely delusions of grandeur? | 1.4450 | 0.04957 | 191 | 127 | 43 | 21 |
472 | I've had Lab Tests. Is this my Cat Scan? | 1.4444 | 0.06022 | 126 | 83 | 30 | 13 |
473 | Why is it that every time she says 'Drop It!' I just can't do it? | 1.4444 | 0.05254 | 162 | 106 | 40 | 16 |
474 | First they let me in their bed, then they start feeding me their food. Now look at me. | 1.4444 | 0.05467 | 144 | 93 | 38 | 13 |
475 | If you say, perrrrrrfect, one more time I am outta here. | 1.4444 | 0.06022 | 126 | 83 | 30 | 13 |
476 | 'Best' friend is a lot of pressure. Some days, I just want to be an 'okay' friend, you know. | 1.4444 | 0.05106 | 162 | 104 | 44 | 14 |
477 | Pavlov?! That name rings a bell… | 1.4438 | 0.05558 | 169 | 117 | 29 | 23 |
478 | It’s like the squirrels are all laughing at me from the trees | 1.4438 | 0.05365 | 169 | 114 | 35 | 20 |
479 | Can you take me out for a quick walk before we continue? | 1.4437 | 0.05688 | 151 | 102 | 31 | 18 |
480 | I get that, but who’s my best friend? | 1.4437 | 0.05244 | 142 | 89 | 43 | 10 |
481 | I am not sure if you can relate to my need for people to like me. | 1.4433 | 0.04891 | 203 | 137 | 42 | 24 |
482 | If there's any time left in this session, I'd like to spend it chasing you | 1.4432 | 0.04837 | 185 | 123 | 44 | 18 |
483 | And I have to check the RESCUE box on all of my applications. | 1.4432 | 0.04776 | 185 | 119 | 50 | 16 |
484 | It may be white, but it's still a collar | 1.4432 | 0.05267 | 176 | 119 | 36 | 21 |
485 | I've lost my will to roll over. | 1.4431 | 0.04775 | 167 | 104 | 52 | 11 |
486 | I just can't seem to keep my nose out of other people's business. | 1.4430 | 0.04958 | 158 | 99 | 48 | 11 |
487 | Sure, I’m man’s best friend, but who’s mine? | 1.4429 | 0.05669 | 140 | 92 | 34 | 14 |
488 | He didn't even really throw it. | 1.4429 | 0.05390 | 140 | 89 | 40 | 11 |
489 | And then I was left alone for, like, the whole day! | 1.4427 | 0.05751 | 131 | 85 | 34 | 12 |
490 | I just can’t help myself; I gotta chase that tail. | 1.4421 | 0.04686 | 190 | 122 | 52 | 16 |
491 | Why not "great boy"? | 1.4420 | 0.05910 | 138 | 93 | 29 | 16 |
492 | It was then I realized I had been adopted | 1.4420 | 0.04850 | 181 | 117 | 48 | 16 |
493 | Do you have to purr? | 1.4417 | 0.04481 | 206 | 132 | 57 | 17 |
494 | I have "Good Boy" imposter syndrome. | 1.4417 | 0.05301 | 163 | 108 | 38 | 17 |
495 | I keep hearing “your Man’s best friend”…but it’s got me thinking who’s mine | 1.4407 | 0.04992 | 177 | 116 | 44 | 17 |
496 | All day long, I hear, "who's a good boy?" But nobody ever answers the question. Am I a good boy? Will I ever be a good boy? | 1.4404 | 0.04749 | 193 | 126 | 49 | 18 |
497 | I keep having this nightmare where the car is chasing me. | 1.4404 | 0.04861 | 193 | 128 | 45 | 20 |
498 | What even is a 'good boy'? | 1.4403 | 0.05397 | 159 | 106 | 36 | 17 |
499 | I'm beginning to worry there's no farm upstate. | 1.4402 | 0.05151 | 184 | 125 | 37 | 22 |
500 | I bare my soul and all you do is purr! | 1.4400 | 0.04629 | 200 | 130 | 52 | 18 |
501 | Can't you at least feign interest? | 1.4398 | 0.04868 | 166 | 105 | 49 | 12 |
502 | The numbers are discouraging. Your nine lives, our dog years. | 1.4396 | 0.04766 | 182 | 117 | 50 | 15 |
503 | My father? My father was a son-of-a-bitch! | 1.4393 | 0.05007 | 173 | 113 | 44 | 16 |
504 | What’s so wrong with being a people pleaser? | 1.4393 | 0.05007 | 173 | 113 | 44 | 16 |
505 | I asked for a therapy dog. | 1.4390 | 0.04908 | 164 | 104 | 48 | 12 |
506 | So, when I caught my tail, it wasn't the joyous experience everyone said it would be. | 1.4390 | 0.05204 | 164 | 108 | 40 | 16 |
507 | I have trouble accepting that I have one master but you have multiple servants. | 1.4389 | 0.05055 | 180 | 120 | 41 | 19 |
508 | I mean, she'll sometimes wag her tail - and I love that. But no, I've never been able to actually make her purr. | 1.4387 | 0.05344 | 155 | 102 | 38 | 15 |
509 | There’s a lot of pressure being man’s best friend. | 1.4385 | 0.04916 | 187 | 124 | 44 | 19 |
510 | When did they stop calling you a good boy? | 1.4385 | 0.05982 | 130 | 87 | 29 | 14 |
511 | I'm sick of the office, Doc. I want to do my business in the yard. | 1.4382 | 0.05033 | 178 | 118 | 42 | 18 |
512 | Sorry to get all emotional, this is my first time on the couch | 1.4379 | 0.05295 | 169 | 114 | 36 | 19 |
513 | Loyalty isn't what is all cracked up to be...I want respect. | 1.4379 | 0.05160 | 169 | 112 | 40 | 17 |
514 | Of course I ate it. Wouldn't you? | 1.4375 | 0.05297 | 160 | 106 | 38 | 16 |
515 | First off, how come I never get to be aloof. | 1.4375 | 0.04744 | 176 | 112 | 51 | 13 |
516 | How do I make my tail stop wagging me? | 1.4372 | 0.04698 | 199 | 131 | 49 | 19 |
517 | I’m just not comfortable talking about my felines yet. | 1.4371 | 0.05525 | 151 | 101 | 34 | 16 |
518 | It’s never “Who’s a great boy.” | 1.4368 | 0.05117 | 174 | 116 | 40 | 18 |
519 | It’s always ‘good dog’, never great dog. I mean, what’s a pooch gotta do? | 1.4366 | 0.05516 | 142 | 93 | 36 | 13 |
520 | My mother was a b**** | 1.4364 | 0.05389 | 165 | 112 | 34 | 19 |
521 | I admit it, I don't pick up after myself. | 1.4360 | 0.04958 | 172 | 112 | 45 | 15 |
522 | You will never know what it’s like to have a bitch for a mother | 1.4359 | 0.05470 | 156 | 105 | 34 | 17 |
523 | But what if deep down i'm in fact not a good boy? | 1.4355 | 0.04753 | 186 | 121 | 49 | 16 |
524 | …and it’s raining cats. There I wake up”. | 1.4354 | 0.05293 | 147 | 95 | 40 | 12 |
525 | They just don't seem to think I'm a good boy anymore... | 1.4351 | 0.05123 | 154 | 99 | 43 | 12 |
526 | I keep chasing the frisbee, but I don't know why. | 1.4350 | 0.04857 | 177 | 115 | 47 | 15 |
527 | In fact I do identify as a cat. | 1.4345 | 0.05316 | 168 | 114 | 35 | 19 |
528 | How's it feel to finally get on the couch? | 1.4342 | 0.05253 | 152 | 99 | 40 | 13 |
529 | I wish I had nine lives, rather than dog years. | 1.4341 | 0.04633 | 182 | 116 | 53 | 13 |
530 | I feel that you're not the least bit interested in what I have to say. | 1.4337 | 0.05628 | 166 | 117 | 26 | 23 |
531 | It’s always “who’s a good boy?” and never “how are you feeling?” | 1.4335 | 0.05265 | 173 | 118 | 35 | 20 |
532 | I blame my mother, that bitch. | 1.4333 | 0.06232 | 120 | 81 | 26 | 13 |
533 | It’s always “Who’s a good boy?” I just don’t feel seen. | 1.4333 | 0.06897 | 90 | 59 | 23 | 8 |
534 | I knew you could never understand | 1.4332 | 0.04912 | 187 | 125 | 43 | 19 |
535 | I've tried, really tried, but I am simply incapable of being aloof. | 1.4331 | 0.05443 | 157 | 106 | 34 | 17 |
536 | Doc, let's cut to the chase! | 1.4328 | 0.04767 | 201 | 135 | 45 | 21 |
537 | Is it even possible to be a good boy these days? | 1.4323 | 0.05098 | 155 | 100 | 43 | 12 |
538 | At first I thought it was just a belly rub. | 1.4318 | 0.05320 | 176 | 122 | 32 | 22 |
539 | I’m really more of a cat person than a dog person. | 1.4314 | 0.05227 | 153 | 100 | 40 | 13 |
540 | I wish she'd just throw me a bone sometimes, you know? | 1.4311 | 0.04915 | 167 | 108 | 46 | 13 |
541 | Cats think they’re so smart and want to run my life. | 1.4310 | 0.04981 | 174 | 115 | 43 | 16 |
542 | They leave in the morning and they’re just gone for hours! | 1.4309 | 0.04967 | 181 | 124 | 38 | 19 |
543 | Sometimes chasing your tail just means you like chasing your tail. | 1.4309 | 0.05029 | 181 | 122 | 40 | 19 |
544 | It all started when they started dressing me up for Halloween“ | 1.4307 | 0.05159 | 137 | 86 | 43 | 8 |
545 | What makes you think I'm too eager to please? | 1.4306 | 0.05088 | 144 | 91 | 44 | 9 |
546 | Why do I feel like I have to please everyone? | 1.4306 | 0.05545 | 144 | 96 | 34 | 14 |
547 | It’s called Stockholm syndrome | 1.4305 | 0.05520 | 151 | 102 | 33 | 16 |
548 | No, I'm not 'feline' fine. | 1.4304 | 0.05264 | 158 | 105 | 38 | 15 |
549 | Sorry for the late start. And I apologize for chasing you around your office. | 1.4304 | 0.05415 | 158 | 107 | 34 | 17 |
550 | I really feel like I'm taking control, and then they throw a stick and I'm back to square one again... | 1.4303 | 0.05102 | 165 | 109 | 41 | 15 |
551 | I feel sometimes that you’re more interested in that mouse hole across the room than you are in me. | 1.4302 | 0.04944 | 179 | 119 | 43 | 17 |
552 | He was very clear, the barking continues, no promotion. | 1.4297 | 0.06144 | 128 | 88 | 25 | 15 |
553 | Sometimes I think loyalty is overrated. | 1.4296 | 0.05231 | 142 | 97 | 33 | 12 |
554 | Trust you? You won't even let me sniff your butt. | 1.4294 | 0.05132 | 170 | 114 | 39 | 17 |
555 | My wife and I just fight like cats and....sorry. Nevermind. | 1.4293 | 0.04846 | 184 | 122 | 45 | 17 |
556 | I'm still anxious, doc. Scratching the furniture didn't help. | 1.4293 | 0.05002 | 191 | 131 | 38 | 22 |
557 | I miss the days when chasing cats wouldn't get you fired. | 1.4293 | 0.04709 | 198 | 132 | 47 | 19 |
558 | Yes, I guess you’re right. I’m not a good boy | 1.4286 | 0.04964 | 168 | 110 | 44 | 14 |
559 | Can you possibly understand what it’s like to HAVE to go outside? | 1.4286 | 0.05517 | 154 | 105 | 32 | 17 |
560 | I keep feeling that you think you're smarter than me. | 1.4286 | 0.05629 | 147 | 100 | 31 | 16 |
561 | It all started with him getting that treadmill. | 1.4286 | 0.05545 | 147 | 99 | 33 | 15 |
562 | I’m not a good dog. | 1.4276 | 0.05248 | 152 | 100 | 39 | 13 |
563 | There’s just something about the word ‘fetch’. | 1.4276 | 0.04904 | 152 | 96 | 47 | 9 |
564 | And each time it happens I wonder if maybe they don't really want the ball after all. | 1.4265 | 0.05681 | 136 | 91 | 32 | 13 |
565 | And here I thought I was "Man's Best Friend" | 1.4264 | 0.05695 | 129 | 85 | 33 | 11 |
566 | I finally caught the car, but then I didn’t know what to do with it. | 1.4261 | 0.05001 | 176 | 118 | 41 | 17 |
567 | The catnip you prescribed just doesn’t seem to be working. | 1.4260 | 0.05082 | 169 | 113 | 40 | 16 |
568 | Actually I like our visits each week... except for that voice in my head that keeps yelling at me to "GET OFF THE COUCH!" | 1.4259 | 0.05313 | 162 | 110 | 35 | 17 |
569 | Peeing on hydrants…chasing cars…it all seems so meaningless, Doc. | 1.4257 | 0.05598 | 148 | 101 | 31 | 16 |
570 | We've been fighting like cats and... Well, you know. | 1.4254 | 0.04963 | 181 | 122 | 41 | 18 |
571 | It’s easy for you to say I should care less about what people think. | 1.4252 | 0.05648 | 127 | 83 | 34 | 10 |
572 | If I promise not to chase you this time, can I have the full hour? | 1.4251 | 0.05466 | 167 | 117 | 29 | 21 |
573 | Do you think 7 is too early for a mid-life crisis? | 1.4251 | 0.04982 | 167 | 110 | 43 | 14 |
574 | Deep down inside, I know that I'm not really a good boy. | 1.4250 | 0.05757 | 120 | 78 | 33 | 9 |
575 | If you think frisbee is not a meaningful form of bonding, why am I even talking to you? | 1.4250 | 0.04901 | 160 | 103 | 46 | 11 |
576 | On the Internet, no one knows I’m a dog | 1.4250 | 0.05877 | 120 | 79 | 31 | 10 |
577 | My wife is a cat lover | 1.4250 | 0.05287 | 160 | 108 | 36 | 16 |
578 | I used to get such a thrill putting my head out the car window. Now, nothing. Do you understand, doc? | 1.4249 | 0.04504 | 193 | 125 | 54 | 14 |
579 | I sense some animosity | 1.4247 | 0.04805 | 186 | 124 | 45 | 17 |
580 | I don’t feel like fetching anymore, like..what’s the point? | 1.4246 | 0.05247 | 179 | 125 | 32 | 22 |
581 | The catnip you prescribed didn't do a thing for me. | 1.4242 | 0.04798 | 165 | 106 | 48 | 11 |
582 | But the door was wide open. Wide open! | 1.4242 | 0.05390 | 132 | 85 | 38 | 9 |
583 | Fetch, heel, roll over, stay, beg, play dead - there's just no pleasing them, Doctor! | 1.4241 | 0.04772 | 191 | 128 | 45 | 18 |
584 | I thought I would love having them around all day. | 1.4241 | 0.05258 | 158 | 106 | 37 | 15 |
585 | My owner kept telling me I was a 'good boy' ... so I felt he never saw me as the man I really am. | 1.4237 | 0.04848 | 177 | 117 | 45 | 15 |
586 | Dad and I got along but mother was a bitch. | 1.4237 | 0.04914 | 177 | 118 | 43 | 16 |
587 | I’ve never thought of wanting to be liked as a bad thing. | 1.4234 | 0.05553 | 137 | 91 | 34 | 12 |
588 | Fetch, Sit, Heel. Foreign to you , but this is all I know. | 1.4224 | 0.05406 | 161 | 111 | 32 | 18 |
589 | When I talk about my constant need for praise, it seems like you just don't get it. | 1.4221 | 0.05434 | 154 | 105 | 33 | 16 |
590 | When you’ve got 70 kids, you’re bound to have an argument with at least one of them, right? | 1.4220 | 0.04926 | 173 | 115 | 43 | 15 |
591 | Then she said "dogs have owners; cats have staff. | 1.4218 | 0.05705 | 147 | 102 | 28 | 17 |
592 | The chasing, the barking, I never really understood why I did it. | 1.4218 | 0.05454 | 147 | 99 | 34 | 14 |
593 | I didn’t realize my other 8 lives were going to be dogs. | 1.4217 | 0.05000 | 166 | 110 | 42 | 14 |
594 | My boss just won't stop barking orders at me. | 1.4213 | 0.05083 | 178 | 122 | 37 | 19 |
595 | And they make me hold it in for hours. | 1.4211 | 0.05301 | 171 | 119 | 32 | 20 |
596 | And then, right in the middle of my presentation, the doorbell rang. | 1.4211 | 0.05867 | 133 | 91 | 28 | 14 |
597 | So then he put on the collar and handed me the leash, but I’m just not into that kinky stuff. | 1.4211 | 0.05072 | 152 | 99 | 42 | 11 |
598 | I wish I were everyone's best friend. | 1.4208 | 0.04919 | 183 | 124 | 41 | 18 |
599 | I'm here because my smartwatch says I'm depressed. | 1.4207 | 0.05331 | 145 | 96 | 37 | 12 |
600 | I had no idea YOU were Schrödinger's cat… | 1.4207 | 0.05679 | 145 | 100 | 29 | 16 |
601 | I mean, is it wrong to want everyone to like me? | 1.4206 | 0.06510 | 107 | 73 | 23 | 11 |
602 | I think we should talk about the elephant in the room. | 1.4203 | 0.05616 | 138 | 93 | 32 | 13 |
603 | I'd give anything for aloofness and a litter box. | 1.4203 | 0.05616 | 138 | 93 | 32 | 13 |
604 | I had the dream again where I'm naked and have to pee on a fire hydrant. | 1.4203 | 0.05616 | 138 | 93 | 32 | 13 |
605 | It's like I'm not even a good boy anymore. | 1.4203 | 0.05326 | 138 | 90 | 38 | 10 |
606 | Do you think it's bad that I'm such a people pleaser? | 1.4201 | 0.04717 | 169 | 109 | 49 | 11 |
607 | For some reason, I feel like you're ignoring me. | 1.4200 | 0.05118 | 150 | 98 | 41 | 11 |
608 | No matter what they say, I just don’t feel like a good boy. | 1.4200 | 0.04940 | 150 | 96 | 45 | 9 |
609 | They laughed when I asked for a doggy bag . | 1.4196 | 0.05473 | 143 | 96 | 34 | 13 |
610 | Have you tried not giving a sh**? | 1.4194 | 0.05633 | 155 | 109 | 27 | 19 |
611 | Which do you think should be worse, my bark or my bite? | 1.4189 | 0.05340 | 148 | 99 | 36 | 13 |
612 | Easy for your to say...you have nine lives. | 1.4189 | 0.05425 | 148 | 100 | 34 | 14 |
613 | Is it OK if I lay on my stomach instead? I'd feel a lot more comfortable that way. | 1.4189 | 0.05340 | 148 | 99 | 36 | 13 |
614 | I tried to ignore them like you said but then the boy threw the ball. | 1.4181 | 0.05164 | 177 | 123 | 34 | 20 |
615 | But is it wrong that I feel worse when they come home? | 1.4176 | 0.04983 | 170 | 114 | 41 | 15 |
616 | It's hard to believe that you care about anything. | 1.4172 | 0.05177 | 151 | 100 | 39 | 12 |
617 | I don't like to say it, but my mother was a bitch. | 1.4171 | 0.04899 | 187 | 128 | 40 | 19 |
618 | Aren't I a good boy? | 1.4167 | 0.04978 | 156 | 102 | 43 | 11 |
619 | I think I need to try and be my own best friend for a while. | 1.4167 | 0.05593 | 132 | 88 | 33 | 11 |
620 | 'I want to do more than have sex with his leg' | 1.4167 | 0.05618 | 144 | 99 | 30 | 15 |
621 | I would be more comfortable if you wouldn't purr while I'm talking. | 1.4162 | 0.04782 | 173 | 114 | 46 | 13 |
622 | But why is being a people pleaser such a bad thing? | 1.4161 | 0.04709 | 161 | 103 | 49 | 9 |
623 | How could you possibly understand? You’ve got nine lives and I’ve only got one! | 1.4161 | 0.05545 | 137 | 92 | 33 | 12 |
624 | I just don’t feel like a ‘Good Boy’ anymore. | 1.4161 | 0.05735 | 137 | 94 | 29 | 14 |
625 | And then I actually caught it, but I didn’t know what to do with it. | 1.4159 | 0.06376 | 113 | 78 | 23 | 12 |
626 | I keep having these dreams where everyone runs around naked and barks at things indiscriminately. | 1.4157 | 0.05209 | 166 | 114 | 35 | 17 |
627 | It said Dr Katz on the door, but I just assumed you’d be a dog. | 1.4155 | 0.05405 | 142 | 95 | 35 | 12 |
628 | My mother never allowed me on the couch. | 1.4154 | 0.05859 | 130 | 89 | 28 | 13 |
629 | I just want to please people, but I doubt you'd understand that. | 1.4153 | 0.05687 | 118 | 77 | 33 | 8 |
630 | I've made great progress since our first session, doc, when all I wanted to do was chase you up that tree outside the office. | 1.4151 | 0.04992 | 159 | 105 | 42 | 12 |
631 | It's just that being a "Good Boy" doesn't seem to be enough anymore. | 1.4146 | 0.05878 | 123 | 83 | 29 | 11 |
632 | Can you understand that my only goal in life is to make my owners happy? Doc? …Doc? | 1.4146 | 0.05532 | 164 | 117 | 26 | 21 |
633 | I’m tired of being the good boy. | 1.4143 | 0.05643 | 140 | 96 | 30 | 14 |
634 | After the surgery I lost my identity. | 1.4143 | 0.05458 | 140 | 94 | 34 | 12 |
635 | I just wish I could land on my feet like you. | 1.4143 | 0.05067 | 140 | 90 | 42 | 8 |
636 | Dr Katz, you're the first person not to tell me to get off the furniture | 1.4143 | 0.05363 | 140 | 93 | 36 | 11 |
637 | I just don’t feel like a good boy | 1.4136 | 0.05003 | 162 | 108 | 41 | 13 |
638 | I've never paid for pussy before. | 1.4136 | 0.05079 | 162 | 109 | 39 | 14 |
639 | You were right, fetching is pointless. I'm thinking of playing dead. | 1.4136 | 0.05228 | 162 | 111 | 35 | 16 |
640 | Yeah, but when I do it, it's called begging. | 1.4130 | 0.04770 | 184 | 124 | 44 | 16 |
641 | I feel like I've spent my whole career chasing my tail. | 1.4129 | 0.05399 | 155 | 107 | 32 | 16 |
642 | It’s always good boy, never great boy or terrific boy! | 1.4126 | 0.05375 | 143 | 96 | 35 | 12 |
643 | When is my day? | 1.4122 | 0.05923 | 131 | 91 | 26 | 14 |
644 | Doctor, sometimes a bone is just a bone. | 1.4122 | 0.04975 | 148 | 96 | 43 | 9 |
645 | Doctor, why do I have this compulsive need to please humans? | 1.4121 | 0.04938 | 165 | 110 | 42 | 13 |
646 | But you have nine lives. I don’t. | 1.4121 | 0.05085 | 165 | 112 | 38 | 15 |
647 | I miss bringing in newspapers. | 1.4118 | 0.05569 | 136 | 92 | 32 | 12 |
648 | My boss said I was a good boy and threw me a bone in the meeting. How is that not a compliment? | 1.4118 | 0.05163 | 136 | 88 | 40 | 8 |
649 | I do understand intellectually that it's merely a stereotypical cultural construct, yet the urge to get up and chase you still seems so very real to me. | 1.4118 | 0.05115 | 170 | 117 | 36 | 17 |
650 | I don't want any more pills. I just want someone to listen to WHY I'm barking. | 1.4110 | 0.04925 | 146 | 94 | 44 | 8 |
651 | It may sound cliche, but my mother was a real bitch. | 1.4110 | 0.05723 | 146 | 103 | 26 | 17 |
652 | My mother was such a bitch. | 1.4109 | 0.05887 | 129 | 89 | 27 | 13 |
653 | Is it true that you really could care less? | 1.4104 | 0.05213 | 134 | 87 | 39 | 8 |
654 | You won’t understand. My wife’s a bitch and I’m always in the doghouse. | 1.4104 | 0.05823 | 134 | 93 | 27 | 14 |
655 | What would you know about being a good boy? | 1.4103 | 0.05053 | 156 | 104 | 40 | 12 |
656 | Sometimes, I feel like someone's got my tongue. | 1.4101 | 0.05481 | 139 | 94 | 33 | 12 |
657 | The sniffing,the barking,the licking,I just had enough. | 1.4101 | 0.05385 | 139 | 93 | 35 | 11 |
658 | Sometimes I just feel like I’m running in circles, chasing my own tail. You know? | 1.4101 | 0.05086 | 139 | 90 | 41 | 8 |
659 | Have you tried just not giving a shit? | 1.4094 | 0.05290 | 171 | 121 | 30 | 20 |
660 | So, actually, she WAS a tramp. | 1.4091 | 0.05787 | 132 | 91 | 28 | 13 |
661 | Barking at you when I came in … you’re not going to write that down, are you? | 1.4091 | 0.05787 | 132 | 91 | 28 | 13 |
662 | Is it wrong to care what people think of you? | 1.4088 | 0.04985 | 159 | 106 | 41 | 12 |
663 | I love cats. Always have. I just feel uncomfortable using the ‘p’ word. | 1.4088 | 0.05219 | 159 | 109 | 35 | 15 |
664 | I was told you could help me be more aloof. | 1.4088 | 0.05439 | 137 | 92 | 34 | 11 |
665 | And every time he told me to sit, I did it. But what about what I wanted? | 1.4087 | 0.06285 | 115 | 80 | 23 | 12 |
666 | Do you see that red dot over there? It keeps moving | 1.4085 | 0.05030 | 164 | 111 | 39 | 14 |
667 | Your problem is you really care. | 1.4085 | 0.05579 | 142 | 98 | 30 | 14 |
668 | I work like a dog and I still can’t get ahead. | 1.4083 | 0.05202 | 169 | 118 | 33 | 18 |
669 | I feel like you think you think you’re smarter than I am | 1.4080 | 0.06232 | 125 | 89 | 21 | 15 |
670 | I just don’t feel the mailman loves me. | 1.4079 | 0.04971 | 152 | 100 | 42 | 10 |
671 | Are you even listening? | 1.4077 | 0.05643 | 130 | 88 | 31 | 11 |
672 | Doc,why do cats never answer my questions? | 1.4076 | 0.05188 | 157 | 107 | 36 | 14 |
673 | I'm not always a good boy. | 1.4076 | 0.04702 | 184 | 124 | 45 | 15 |
674 | I just can't keep up the unconditional love thing | 1.4076 | 0.04764 | 184 | 125 | 43 | 16 |
675 | I just don't think you understand. I'm a people pleaser. | 1.4074 | 0.05493 | 135 | 91 | 33 | 11 |
676 | Have you tried sitting on their keyboard? | 1.4074 | 0.06034 | 108 | 72 | 28 | 8 |
677 | Andrew Loyd Weber still blames me for the reviews. | 1.4072 | 0.05382 | 167 | 119 | 28 | 20 |
678 | I try not to judge, but peeing on hydrants is just so uncivilized. | 1.4071 | 0.05847 | 113 | 75 | 30 | 8 |
679 | I don’t know doc. Refusing to eat. Why would I do that again? | 1.4069 | 0.05225 | 145 | 97 | 37 | 11 |
680 | Sometimes I feel like I’m loyal to a fault. | 1.4067 | 0.05103 | 150 | 100 | 39 | 11 |
681 | Where do I start? My mother was a bitch. | 1.4065 | 0.05234 | 155 | 106 | 35 | 14 |
682 | We can try to dig deeper, but never, ever in the flowers. | 1.4065 | 0.05469 | 155 | 109 | 29 | 17 |
683 | I have a hard time really believing that I'm a good boy. | 1.4061 | 0.04931 | 165 | 111 | 41 | 13 |
684 | I beg them for attention, but all they do is stare at their phones. | 1.4058 | 0.05785 | 138 | 97 | 26 | 15 |
685 | I don't know who's a good boy anymore. | 1.4056 | 0.05026 | 180 | 126 | 35 | 19 |
686 | Everything's going great. I just don't know why she keeps calling me a therapy dog. | 1.4054 | 0.05059 | 148 | 98 | 40 | 10 |
687 | They always ask, “Who’s a good boy?” Never, “How did it feel being torn away from your family?” | 1.4054 | 0.05410 | 148 | 102 | 32 | 14 |
688 | How can I be sure that I'm his best friend? | 1.4054 | 0.05237 | 148 | 100 | 36 | 12 |
689 | It all started when they named me Oedipus Rex | 1.4051 | 0.04839 | 158 | 104 | 44 | 10 |
690 | I've started purring lately. | 1.4051 | 0.04921 | 158 | 105 | 42 | 11 |
691 | It all started when I saw my first litter box and thought ‘that’s for me’. | 1.4050 | 0.06051 | 121 | 84 | 25 | 12 |
692 | Why wouldn't I have to be his best friend? | 1.4049 | 0.05048 | 163 | 111 | 38 | 14 |
693 | But on the internet, not even cats know you're a dog | 1.4048 | 0.05875 | 126 | 87 | 27 | 12 |
694 | Usually I just do ‘sit’ but now I definitely see the appeal of ‘lie down’ | 1.4046 | 0.04626 | 173 | 114 | 48 | 11 |
695 | My mother wasn’t a dog person. | 1.4046 | 0.05914 | 131 | 92 | 25 | 14 |
696 | I was caught drinking at the office again. If only they would keep the toilet lids down. | 1.4044 | 0.05560 | 136 | 93 | 31 | 12 |
697 | So I barked, and then she barked, and then I barked.... | 1.4043 | 0.05324 | 141 | 95 | 35 | 11 |
698 | Yes, I always want to chase them. I want to chase you right now. | 1.4041 | 0.05196 | 146 | 98 | 37 | 11 |
699 | And have you ever tried simply not caring about your owner’s affection? | 1.4040 | 0.05330 | 151 | 104 | 33 | 14 |
700 | It's always 'Who's a good boy?' but never 'How's a good boy?' | 1.4038 | 0.06339 | 104 | 71 | 24 | 9 |
701 | I’ve been chewing on your last bill… | 1.4036 | 0.04756 | 166 | 110 | 45 | 11 |
702 | Sure, it's white collar, but it's still a collar. | 1.4035 | 0.06195 | 114 | 79 | 24 | 11 |
703 | I fetch, I roll over, I even beg, but it’s never enough. | 1.4035 | 0.06068 | 114 | 78 | 26 | 10 |
704 | My life is hopeless. Can I have one of your nine ? | 1.4035 | 0.05672 | 114 | 75 | 32 | 7 |
705 | Well, first of all, I feel very guilty because I know I'm not allowed on the couch. | 1.4034 | 0.04979 | 176 | 122 | 37 | 17 |
706 | I should be barking at you. | 1.4034 | 0.05885 | 119 | 81 | 28 | 10 |
707 | But my mother IS a bitch... | 1.4034 | 0.06005 | 119 | 82 | 26 | 11 |
708 | I believe that the root of your problem is your need for human beings. | 1.4032 | 0.05600 | 124 | 83 | 32 | 9 |
709 | Chasing the ball isn’t fun anymore. | 1.4031 | 0.05877 | 129 | 90 | 26 | 13 |
710 | I caught a car last week and then I was like, now what? | 1.4030 | 0.05517 | 134 | 91 | 32 | 11 |
711 | And my mom said if it's put in front of you, eat it. And if it hisses at you, bark at it. And if it runs from you, chase it. And if...... | 1.4029 | 0.05376 | 139 | 94 | 34 | 11 |
712 | You just don't understand, Doc--you always seem to land on your feet. | 1.4028 | 0.05151 | 144 | 96 | 38 | 10 |
713 | ….and in the dream, after I sniff, she turns around and it’s my mom’s face. | 1.4028 | 0.05336 | 144 | 98 | 34 | 12 |
714 | Lately I'm all bite and no bark | 1.4027 | 0.04941 | 149 | 98 | 42 | 9 |
715 | What is so wrong with wanting to leave you mark on the world? | 1.4027 | 0.05296 | 149 | 102 | 34 | 13 |
716 | I'm only submitting to the Freudian method because you allow me to get on the couch. | 1.4027 | 0.05209 | 149 | 101 | 36 | 12 |
717 | Why was I never allowed to have a litter box? | 1.4027 | 0.05380 | 149 | 103 | 32 | 14 |
718 | And sir, you're sure that it's not just your tail following you? | 1.4026 | 0.05254 | 154 | 106 | 34 | 14 |
719 | Dr. Katz, you seem unsympathetic to my situation. | 1.4025 | 0.05362 | 159 | 112 | 30 | 17 |
720 | Sure, I chase the cars. But what would I do if I actually caught one? | 1.4015 | 0.05253 | 132 | 87 | 37 | 8 |
721 | I have to admit it. I like cats. Does that make me weird? | 1.4015 | 0.05253 | 132 | 87 | 37 | 8 |
722 | I hope you can run faster than my last therapist. | 1.4015 | 0.05623 | 137 | 95 | 29 | 13 |
723 | The only recognition I get at work is the occasional pat on the head. | 1.4014 | 0.05102 | 142 | 94 | 39 | 9 |
724 | But why just me? They never made Kitty roll over and play dead. | 1.4000 | 0.05305 | 130 | 86 | 36 | 8 |
725 | I mean, they are always telling me I'm a good boy, but I just don't feel like a good boy. | 1.4000 | 0.05049 | 140 | 92 | 40 | 8 |
726 | I like kittens. | 1.4000 | 0.05964 | 120 | 83 | 26 | 11 |
727 | I tried being more like you, but 'aloof' doesn't get any treats... | 1.4000 | 0.05964 | 120 | 83 | 26 | 11 |
728 | I think I love more than one person. | 1.4000 | 0.05682 | 135 | 94 | 28 | 13 |
729 | Is it wrong for me to want to be a mailman? | 1.4000 | 0.05534 | 140 | 97 | 30 | 13 |
730 | Story of my life, really. Of the 20,000 therapists advertised, I get a cat. | 1.4000 | 0.05307 | 145 | 99 | 34 | 12 |
731 | I knew she was a cat, but it didn't matter. I loved her. | 1.4000 | 0.05416 | 130 | 87 | 34 | 9 |
732 | My hydrant training? Really? | 1.4000 | 0.06195 | 120 | 85 | 22 | 13 |
733 | Could you not just tell me how to ignore the tennis ball? | 1.4000 | 0.06117 | 125 | 89 | 22 | 14 |
734 | Ok, so my mother was a bitch. That’s why I’m messed up? | 1.4000 | 0.05941 | 130 | 92 | 24 | 14 |
735 | It's always the same dream...I sit, I beg, but I can't close the Peterson deal. | 1.4000 | 0.06011 | 125 | 88 | 24 | 13 |
736 | What do you think they mean by “You’re in the dog house!”? | 1.4000 | 0.04730 | 150 | 97 | 46 | 7 |
737 | You can’t understand the pressure of a dog-eat-dog world | 1.4000 | 0.05248 | 140 | 94 | 36 | 10 |
738 | And how long have you been calling your mother "that bitch" | 1.4000 | 0.05680 | 125 | 85 | 30 | 10 |
739 | Sure I have boundary issues but you dont know what Invisifence is like. | 1.4000 | 0.04932 | 145 | 95 | 42 | 8 |
740 | And after all that, it turned out that all she wanted to do was play “fetch. | 1.3987 | 0.05274 | 153 | 106 | 33 | 14 |
741 | Am I really a son of a bitch? | 1.3985 | 0.05840 | 133 | 94 | 25 | 14 |
742 | Have you tried being less emotionally available? | 1.3985 | 0.05436 | 133 | 90 | 33 | 10 |
743 | What's the matter, 'dog got your tongue'? | 1.3984 | 0.05742 | 123 | 84 | 29 | 10 |
744 | I’m a well dressed senior, but they still call me ‘Boy’. | 1.3981 | 0.06162 | 108 | 74 | 25 | 9 |
745 | It’s like they don’t even read all of the submissions. How are THESE the finalists!? | 1.3981 | 0.07081 | 103 | 76 | 13 | 14 |
746 | Did you ever think of just chasing your tail | 1.3977 | 0.04799 | 171 | 116 | 42 | 13 |
747 | Why do I feel like you don't hear a thing I am saying. | 1.3977 | 0.04870 | 171 | 117 | 40 | 14 |
748 | So then it occurred to me, if you can change your gender then why not your species. | 1.3975 | 0.05159 | 161 | 112 | 34 | 15 |
749 | Although I am biologically canine and satortially human, I identify as feline. | 1.3974 | 0.05486 | 151 | 107 | 28 | 16 |
750 | Sometimes i feel like I'm running in circles, chasing my own tail. | 1.3973 | 0.04809 | 146 | 95 | 44 | 7 |
751 | Every time she leaves, I’m afraid she won’t come back. You wouldn’t understand. | 1.3973 | 0.05366 | 146 | 101 | 32 | 13 |
752 | Oh, aren’t you being catty! | 1.3972 | 0.05315 | 141 | 96 | 34 | 11 |
753 | She kicks all the poop out of her litter box and nobody says a word. I accidentally poop on the floor and everyone calls me a bad boy. Am I a bad boy? Am I? Am I? | 1.3972 | 0.05409 | 141 | 97 | 32 | 12 |
754 | I find you so remote. | 1.3972 | 0.05502 | 141 | 98 | 30 | 13 |
755 | I guess this makes you my therapy cat. | 1.3971 | 0.06021 | 136 | 99 | 20 | 17 |
756 | Fine . . . if you must know, my mother was a bitch!" | 1.3969 | 0.05701 | 131 | 91 | 28 | 12 |
757 | Don't get me wrong. Some of my best friends are cats. | 1.3966 | 0.05983 | 116 | 80 | 26 | 10 |
758 | I feel as though you're being somewhat aloof when I talk with you. | 1.3963 | 0.04786 | 164 | 110 | 43 | 11 |
759 | I keep having this reoccurring dream that it is raining and you and I are falling out of the sky. | 1.3961 | 0.05784 | 154 | 114 | 19 | 21 |
760 | I feel that you're being very aloof. | 1.3961 | 0.04911 | 154 | 103 | 41 | 10 |
761 | What if I want to be more than best friends? | 1.3960 | 0.06461 | 101 | 70 | 22 | 9 |
762 | I guess I'm just not a dog person. | 1.3960 | 0.05200 | 149 | 105 | 32 | 12 |
763 | I can't help feeling I'm too much of a people pleaser. | 1.3957 | 0.05268 | 139 | 94 | 35 | 10 |
764 | I think I'm a good boy, but I feel like not everyone agrees. | 1.3955 | 0.05607 | 134 | 93 | 29 | 12 |
765 | Can't we just cut to the chase? | 1.3955 | 0.05607 | 134 | 93 | 29 | 12 |
766 | I’ve always felt like a cat trapped in a dog’s body. | 1.3953 | 0.05969 | 129 | 92 | 23 | 14 |
767 | My son called me a “pussy”… no offense | 1.3953 | 0.05763 | 129 | 90 | 27 | 12 |
768 | Okay, but, what does the Mailman represent? | 1.3950 | 0.05366 | 119 | 78 | 35 | 6 |
769 | Fetch! Roll over! Beg! Where did humans get those ideas? | 1.3949 | 0.05092 | 157 | 108 | 36 | 13 |
770 | Bark, bark, bow-wow. You just wouldn't understand. | 1.3945 | 0.06649 | 109 | 79 | 17 | 13 |
771 | Why do I always feel like I’m chasing my tail? | 1.3945 | 0.05832 | 109 | 73 | 29 | 7 |
772 | But I have always been a people pleaser… | 1.3942 | 0.05217 | 137 | 92 | 36 | 9 |
773 | They say I’m a ‘good boy’, but what do I have to show for it? | 1.3942 | 0.05419 | 137 | 94 | 32 | 11 |
774 | I think it's a major cultural misappropriation to say it's raining cats and dogs. Don't you think? | 1.3939 | 0.05242 | 132 | 91 | 32 | 9 |
775 | Maybe I'm projecting, but I feel like you're judging me. | 1.3937 | 0.05142 | 127 | 83 | 38 | 6 |
776 | And why do cats get to sleep on the furniture? | 1.3937 | 0.05932 | 127 | 90 | 24 | 13 |
777 | I’ve never been able to catch a squirrel. | 1.3934 | 0.05768 | 122 | 84 | 28 | 10 |
778 | It’s too much. I can’t be their only source of emotional support. | 1.3934 | 0.05649 | 122 | 83 | 30 | 9 |
779 | Of course I don’t expect you to fully understand…. | 1.3933 | 0.05258 | 150 | 104 | 33 | 13 |
780 | I know I’m a good boy…but I want to be a *great* boy. | 1.3933 | 0.04996 | 150 | 101 | 39 | 10 |
781 | I can't help it--I only have one life! | 1.3932 | 0.06064 | 117 | 82 | 24 | 11 |
782 | Sometimes I feel like I'm just here for your amusement. | 1.3931 | 0.05475 | 145 | 102 | 29 | 14 |
783 | It’s just one damn fetch after another! | 1.3929 | 0.05997 | 112 | 77 | 26 | 9 |
784 | Doctor, I'm afraid my gatophobia is getting worse | 1.3929 | 0.06130 | 112 | 78 | 24 | 10 |
785 | Having just one life doesn’t seem fair. | 1.3926 | 0.04722 | 163 | 109 | 44 | 10 |
786 | And then she called me a pussy | 1.3926 | 0.05863 | 135 | 97 | 23 | 15 |
787 | All I’ve ever really wanted is to be a Good Boy… | 1.3926 | 0.05371 | 135 | 92 | 33 | 10 |
788 | So tell me, who is the good boy? | 1.3923 | 0.05514 | 130 | 89 | 31 | 10 |
789 | . “It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there and I’m wearing Milkbone underwear.” (Credit Norm from Cheers) | 1.3922 | 0.05346 | 153 | 108 | 30 | 15 |
790 | My mother's name was Nugget. My father was Fido, or Spot, or Speckles, maybe Blackie, or Pooch, or Buddy, I'm not really sure. | 1.3920 | 0.06000 | 125 | 89 | 23 | 13 |
791 | How could I care less? | 1.3918 | 0.06481 | 97 | 67 | 22 | 8 |
792 | The thing is, Doc, if I did catch the car I wouldn't even know what to do with it. | 1.3916 | 0.05439 | 143 | 100 | 30 | 13 |
793 | I really appreciate you're letting me lie on your couch. | 1.3916 | 0.05348 | 143 | 99 | 32 | 12 |
794 | In the dream we were both naked and I was chasing you and growling" | 1.3907 | 0.05557 | 151 | 109 | 25 | 17 |
795 | And in the dream I'm naked, walking on four paws with a collar around my neck. | 1.3906 | 0.05997 | 128 | 92 | 22 | 14 |
796 | ‘I think I might be a dog’ | 1.3906 | 0.05789 | 128 | 90 | 26 | 12 |
797 | Shouldn’t I be seeing a licensed therapy dog? | 1.3905 | 0.04830 | 169 | 116 | 40 | 13 |
798 | I don't feel like a good boy. | 1.3905 | 0.06274 | 105 | 73 | 23 | 9 |
799 | I worry that when I'm on the Internet, everybody knows I'm a dog. | 1.3902 | 0.05612 | 123 | 84 | 30 | 9 |
800 | So there it is doc: I hate you. | 1.3897 | 0.05441 | 136 | 94 | 31 | 11 |
801 | I am worried my new boss is not a good boy. | 1.3895 | 0.07376 | 95 | 71 | 11 | 13 |
802 | I'm always doing what I'm told just to get love and validation. Ya know what I mean? | 1.3894 | 0.05683 | 113 | 76 | 30 | 7 |
803 | … and you really think tearing the sofa will work Doctor? Lying across their sleeping faces didn’t get me one “Good boy!” at all | 1.3893 | 0.05690 | 131 | 92 | 27 | 12 |
804 | Can I chase you when we've finished the session? | 1.3893 | 0.05480 | 131 | 90 | 31 | 10 |
805 | Why -- why does it have to be such a dog eat dog world? | 1.3889 | 0.05408 | 144 | 101 | 30 | 13 |
806 | Why do you think I'm barking up the wrong tree? | 1.3889 | 0.05131 | 144 | 98 | 36 | 10 |
807 | You say 'roll over' like it's a bad thing. | 1.3889 | 0.05036 | 144 | 97 | 38 | 9 |
808 | They kept telling me that dogs were not as smart as cats..... | 1.3884 | 0.05426 | 121 | 81 | 33 | 7 |
809 | I've always advised that curiosity isn't exactly a good thing. | 1.3881 | 0.05495 | 134 | 93 | 30 | 11 |
810 | I keep having this recurrent nightmare in which my therapist is a huge cat. | 1.3879 | 0.06094 | 116 | 82 | 23 | 11 |
811 | Sorry doc, but I fell you are aloof and indifferent. | 1.3878 | 0.05327 | 147 | 103 | 31 | 13 |
812 | Some of my best friends. . . .no, it isn't true. | 1.3874 | 0.05748 | 111 | 75 | 29 | 7 |
813 | Everywhere I look I see cats | 1.3874 | 0.06026 | 111 | 77 | 25 | 9 |
814 | If you tell anyone I came here, I will bite you. | 1.3873 | 0.05274 | 142 | 98 | 33 | 11 |
815 | Can't I just curl up at your feet? I'm not supposed to lie on the couch. | 1.3873 | 0.05274 | 142 | 98 | 33 | 11 |
816 | I'm obsessed with another species. | 1.3873 | 0.04406 | 204 | 141 | 47 | 16 |
817 | I’m just not good with boundaries unless they are electrified, Doc. | 1.3871 | 0.04790 | 155 | 104 | 42 | 9 |
818 | Have you tried sleeping 17 hours a day?” | 1.3871 | 0.05046 | 155 | 107 | 36 | 12 |
819 | You keep saying ‘subservient’ like it’s a bad thing. | 1.3871 | 0.05692 | 124 | 86 | 28 | 10 |
820 | Doctor, why do I sniff butts? | 1.3869 | 0.05698 | 137 | 98 | 25 | 14 |
821 | That depends. What do you consider "enough sleep"? | 1.3867 | 0.04986 | 150 | 102 | 38 | 10 |
822 | Here I am every week earnestly and fervently contemplating the human condition while you jot notes and wash your face. | 1.3867 | 0.05163 | 150 | 104 | 34 | 12 |
823 | And another thing. The homework was the best meal I had all week. | 1.3861 | 0.06288 | 101 | 70 | 23 | 8 |
824 | OK, here goes ... I am sexually attracted to cats. | 1.3861 | 0.05214 | 158 | 112 | 31 | 15 |
825 | : Let me get this straight, your human comes home and you immediately stop what you're doing. | 1.3856 | 0.05005 | 153 | 105 | 37 | 11 |
826 | I tried being more aloof, like you said, I really did. But then she came home. | 1.3854 | 0.06846 | 96 | 69 | 17 | 10 |
827 | Do you ever worry that people don’t like you? | 1.3854 | 0.06517 | 96 | 67 | 21 | 8 |
828 | But then I realized - they hadn't actually thrown the ball. | 1.3853 | 0.05960 | 109 | 75 | 26 | 8 |
829 | I had that dream again but this time the mailman was my father. | 1.3853 | 0.05960 | 109 | 75 | 26 | 8 |
830 | Never mind. Scratch that. | 1.3852 | 0.06098 | 122 | 88 | 21 | 13 |
831 | I feel like you understand me, but you don't really care. | 1.3852 | 0.05562 | 135 | 95 | 28 | 12 |
832 | The fact is—my mother is a bitch. | 1.3852 | 0.05360 | 135 | 93 | 32 | 10 |
833 | I feel like I've spent my whole adult life just chasing my tail. | 1.3846 | 0.05609 | 130 | 91 | 28 | 11 |
834 | ...and cats aren't even afraid of me anymore. | 1.3846 | 0.05543 | 117 | 79 | 31 | 7 |
835 | Have you tried ignoring them? | 1.3846 | 0.06948 | 91 | 65 | 17 | 9 |
836 | But you don’t have to live in a dog eat dog world! | 1.3846 | 0.05543 | 117 | 79 | 31 | 7 |
837 | Not be insulting, but you're not my first choice. My HMO sent me to you. | 1.3846 | 0.05429 | 143 | 101 | 29 | 13 |
838 | You've got it good, Doc: this is the only couch I'm allowed on. | 1.3846 | 0.05244 | 143 | 99 | 33 | 11 |
839 | I’ve been fetching the ball my whole life. | 1.3846 | 0.04982 | 117 | 75 | 39 | 3 |
840 | I don’t understand why I always do what people tell me to do. | 1.3846 | 0.05928 | 117 | 82 | 25 | 10 |
841 | I think she only adopted me to make money on tik tok | 1.3846 | 0.05543 | 117 | 79 | 31 | 7 |
842 | After all this time, I'm still wondering who is a good boy. | 1.3846 | 0.04837 | 182 | 129 | 36 | 17 |
843 | I keep having this recurring dream that my therapist is a cat. | 1.3841 | 0.05387 | 151 | 108 | 28 | 15 |
844 | If it's a dog-eat-dog world out there, why am I so afraid of cats? | 1.3841 | 0.05135 | 151 | 105 | 34 | 12 |
845 | I want her to throw the ball, but I just can’t let go | 1.3838 | 0.06042 | 99 | 67 | 26 | 6 |
846 | ... I listened, I behaved, I rolled over, but they never, ever told me I was a good boy. | 1.3836 | 0.04952 | 159 | 110 | 37 | 12 |
847 | What good will a cat scan do me? | 1.3836 | 0.05339 | 159 | 115 | 27 | 17 |
848 | Sometimes I think you just don't care. | 1.3835 | 0.05720 | 133 | 95 | 25 | 13 |
849 | It’s taking everything I’ve got not to sniff your butt right now. | 1.3832 | 0.06592 | 107 | 78 | 17 | 12 |
850 | I just can’t shake the feeling that you’re mocking me | 1.3831 | 0.04978 | 154 | 106 | 37 | 11 |
851 | What was I supposed to call her? | 1.3830 | 0.05840 | 141 | 104 | 20 | 17 |
852 | I'm starting to crawl into boxes. | 1.3828 | 0.05669 | 128 | 90 | 27 | 11 |
853 | ...and I bring it back, and their mouth says 'good boy', but yet they always throw it away all over again... | 1.3824 | 0.06542 | 102 | 73 | 19 | 10 |
854 | I know everybody tells me I'm a good boy... but what if I'm not? | 1.3821 | 0.05599 | 123 | 85 | 29 | 9 |
855 | Could you ignore me again at two o'clock next Thursday? | 1.3818 | 0.06325 | 110 | 79 | 20 | 11 |
856 | it all started at the fire hydrant | 1.3816 | 0.05192 | 152 | 107 | 32 | 13 |
857 | But, who's to say I am indeed a good dog? | 1.3816 | 0.05107 | 152 | 106 | 34 | 12 |
858 | I've lost my fetch. | 1.3814 | 0.05943 | 97 | 65 | 27 | 5 |
859 | Just once I’d like to hear someone describe something great as ‘the dog’s bark’! | 1.3813 | 0.05536 | 139 | 99 | 27 | 13 |
860 | Get the ball....Get the ball...Get the ball...Why can't they just get it their damn selves? | 1.3810 | 0.05138 | 147 | 102 | 34 | 11 |
861 | When and WHY did we start wearing pants?!? | 1.3810 | 0.06110 | 105 | 73 | 24 | 8 |
862 | I'm constantly embarrassed by my uncontrollable urge to wag my tail. | 1.3806 | 0.05585 | 134 | 95 | 27 | 12 |
863 | But I don't know how to play hard to get. | 1.3802 | 0.05537 | 121 | 83 | 30 | 8 |
864 | I thought it was love. Then he tells me I’m his best friend. | 1.3800 | 0.06321 | 100 | 70 | 22 | 8 |
865 | I think I'd feel a lot better if you just let me chase you a little bit. | 1.3798 | 0.05185 | 129 | 87 | 35 | 7 |
866 | Birds…right? | 1.3798 | 0.05739 | 129 | 92 | 25 | 12 |
867 | Does it have to be a dog eat dog world ? | 1.3797 | 0.05127 | 158 | 112 | 32 | 14 |
868 | I’ve come to accept that I’m the son of a bitch. | 1.3796 | 0.05873 | 137 | 101 | 20 | 16 |
869 | And just like that I didn't want to play fetch and now I'm questioning everything. | 1.3793 | 0.05277 | 145 | 102 | 31 | 12 |
870 | Doctor, I feel like you’re ignoring me while you play with that pen. | 1.3791 | 0.05080 | 153 | 107 | 34 | 12 |
871 | I can't lose the feeling that you just don't give a damn. | 1.3790 | 0.05905 | 124 | 89 | 23 | 12 |
872 | I get dressed every morning, but she still goes to work without me. | 1.3790 | 0.05321 | 124 | 84 | 33 | 7 |
873 | They keep moving my bowl. | 1.3790 | 0.05443 | 124 | 85 | 31 | 8 |
874 | Tell me,what does this guilt feel like? | 1.3790 | 0.05905 | 124 | 89 | 23 | 12 |
875 | Sometimes I think that even you hate me. | 1.3789 | 0.06723 | 95 | 68 | 18 | 9 |
876 | Doc, Thanks you are the only one who has ever given me permission to be on the couch. | 1.3788 | 0.05327 | 132 | 91 | 32 | 9 |
877 | Well, I tried the ball of yarn thing. It didn't work. | 1.3788 | 0.04990 | 132 | 88 | 38 | 6 |
878 | They took me to ‘Take Your Dog to Work Day’. Personally, I prefer to lie around the house remotely. | 1.3788 | 0.05539 | 132 | 93 | 28 | 11 |
879 | I don’t know exactly when I transgendered into a dog, but I do remember suddenly meowing and then barking at the mailman. | 1.3788 | 0.05643 | 132 | 94 | 26 | 12 |
880 | I just don’t understand why sniffing my colleagues’ butts is considered poor office etiquette. | 1.3787 | 0.04957 | 169 | 120 | 34 | 15 |
881 | I swear! I actually like cats. | 1.3786 | 0.05216 | 140 | 97 | 33 | 10 |
882 | It’s not about catching the tail. It’s about loving the chase. | 1.3778 | 0.05243 | 135 | 93 | 33 | 9 |
883 | It’s like, no matter how many times I fetch her that stick she just doesn’t seem satisfied, you know | 1.3778 | 0.06625 | 90 | 63 | 20 | 7 |
884 | I get the feeling that you are silently judging me. | 1.3776 | 0.05233 | 143 | 100 | 32 | 11 |
885 | I have to learn how to say No! | 1.3774 | 0.05912 | 106 | 73 | 26 | 7 |
886 | I don’t even know anymore am I fetching for myself or everybody else? | 1.3772 | 0.06154 | 114 | 82 | 21 | 11 |
887 | What do you know about losing a best friend? | 1.3769 | 0.05153 | 130 | 88 | 35 | 7 |
888 | After they yelled at me for eating their homework it just doesn’t taste the same. | 1.3769 | 0.05380 | 130 | 90 | 31 | 9 |
889 | It’s just so hard being the sweetest one in the room all the time. | 1.3767 | 0.05247 | 146 | 103 | 31 | 12 |
890 | I buried my feelings and now I can’t find them | 1.3767 | 0.05595 | 146 | 107 | 23 | 16 |
891 | Yeah, he's staff, not master. | 1.3766 | 0.04705 | 154 | 104 | 42 | 8 |
892 | But what if my bliss is fetching sticks? | 1.3762 | 0.06270 | 101 | 71 | 22 | 8 |
893 | I still have anxiety about being allowed on the sofa. | 1.3761 | 0.05527 | 117 | 80 | 30 | 7 |
894 | I guess it all started when they told me I was a mutt. | 1.3761 | 0.05253 | 117 | 78 | 34 | 5 |
895 | I've lost my desire to fetch. | 1.3760 | 0.05641 | 125 | 88 | 27 | 10 |
896 | It's all my father's fault. He never taught me what to do if I caught the car. | 1.3760 | 0.05641 | 125 | 88 | 27 | 10 |
897 | It didn't make me feel ... anything! It was just ... a car. | 1.3759 | 0.05185 | 141 | 98 | 33 | 10 |
898 | She keeps saying, "Cats are from Venus; Dogs are from Mars" to explain our problems. | 1.3750 | 0.05656 | 128 | 91 | 26 | 11 |
899 | I just keep wondering if the "best friend" thing is mutual... | 1.3750 | 0.05182 | 152 | 108 | 31 | 13 |
900 | Actually, I'm fine. This is just the only place I'm allowed on the couch. | 1.3750 | 0.05805 | 120 | 85 | 25 | 10 |
901 | Why am I expected to know where all the bones are buried? | 1.3750 | 0.05683 | 120 | 84 | 27 | 9 |
902 | Sometimes I feel like you think you are better than me? | 1.3750 | 0.05203 | 144 | 101 | 32 | 11 |
903 | I lost all pleasure chasing cars. | 1.3750 | 0.05013 | 144 | 99 | 36 | 9 |
904 | This is a long list of pet peeves ! | 1.3750 | 0.06099 | 112 | 80 | 22 | 10 |
905 | And just as I'm about to chomp down on my tail, the dream ends. | 1.3750 | 0.05417 | 136 | 96 | 29 | 11 |
906 | In my dream, I'm being treated by a cat. | 1.3750 | 0.05387 | 144 | 103 | 28 | 13 |
907 | I’m sure you can relate, but all this pressure to be their best friend really is exhausting. | 1.3741 | 0.05127 | 147 | 103 | 33 | 11 |
908 | Come, Sit, Stay” Why can’t I be aloof like you | 1.3741 | 0.05429 | 139 | 99 | 28 | 12 |
909 | In the dream, I catch the car and it turns into a cat! | 1.3741 | 0.05333 | 139 | 98 | 30 | 11 |
910 | I've no desire to fetch things, but I still enjoy licking myself in public. | 1.3740 | 0.05561 | 131 | 93 | 27 | 11 |
911 | I go to ridiculous lengths to gain approval. | 1.3740 | 0.05561 | 131 | 93 | 27 | 11 |
912 | Sometimes I'm a good boy. Sometimes I'm a bad dog. | 1.3740 | 0.05584 | 123 | 86 | 28 | 9 |
913 | I can sit, and stay, but I never learned to heal. | 1.3739 | 0.05587 | 115 | 79 | 29 | 7 |
914 | Vice President sounds great, but I'd rather be a pack leader. | 1.3739 | 0.05587 | 115 | 79 | 29 | 7 |
915 | We've been having these sessions for months and I feel as if I'm just chasing my tail. | 1.3733 | 0.05142 | 150 | 106 | 32 | 12 |
916 | It feels like I'm just chasing my tail. | 1.3733 | 0.04874 | 150 | 103 | 38 | 9 |
917 | I push my intrusive thoughts off the table like you tell me to, but then I fetch them. | 1.3731 | 0.05573 | 134 | 96 | 26 | 12 |
918 | I have lost my desire to chase you. | 1.3731 | 0.05262 | 134 | 93 | 32 | 9 |
919 | This 'need to please' complex is so exhausting to deal with! | 1.3730 | 0.05373 | 126 | 87 | 31 | 8 |
920 | Where ever I go I see cats. | 1.3730 | 0.05826 | 126 | 91 | 23 | 12 |
921 | It's as though I was really a cat, but in a dog's body. | 1.3730 | 0.05604 | 126 | 89 | 27 | 10 |
922 | …they say it’s a dog’s life, but if you ask me, I’d rather have nine lives to fall back on | 1.3729 | 0.05619 | 118 | 82 | 28 | 8 |
923 | Even now, I feel like I don't DESERVE to be on this couch | 1.3725 | 0.05236 | 153 | 110 | 29 | 14 |
924 | Teach me to be independent. | 1.3723 | 0.06590 | 94 | 67 | 19 | 8 |
925 | I’m a good boy - I get it. But sometimes I just want to ignore the ball, you know? | 1.3723 | 0.06233 | 94 | 65 | 23 | 6 |
926 | They always say, 'who's a good boy??' but never 'how is the good boy?!'. | 1.3723 | 0.05855 | 94 | 63 | 27 | 4 |
927 | I got the seven-year itch after a year. Is that normal? | 1.3721 | 0.05510 | 129 | 91 | 28 | 10 |
928 | I am worried about how they would react if they realize that I don't know who this 'good boy' is that they keep asking me about. | 1.3719 | 0.06113 | 121 | 89 | 19 | 13 |
929 | I never get to do my business inside like the cat does. | 1.3719 | 0.05645 | 121 | 85 | 27 | 9 |
930 | It all started with tail chasing. | 1.3719 | 0.05395 | 121 | 83 | 31 | 7 |
931 | sometimes being a good boy is enough | 1.3719 | 0.05395 | 121 | 83 | 31 | 7 |
932 | And then he threw the ball AGAIN, so I had to — nevermind, you wouldn’t get it. | 1.3719 | 0.05645 | 121 | 85 | 27 | 9 |
933 | I know. It's a common story. But I was only 8 weeks old. | 1.3717 | 0.06054 | 113 | 81 | 22 | 10 |
934 | Try setting healthy boundaries, refuse to come when called | 1.3717 | 0.06310 | 113 | 83 | 18 | 12 |
935 | Hmmm, How did he get those cufflinks on with no thumbs? | 1.3716 | 0.04915 | 148 | 102 | 37 | 9 |
936 | Dreaming of chasing your therapist up a tree IS progress. | 1.3712 | 0.05630 | 132 | 95 | 25 | 12 |
937 | It’s a dog eat dog world out there. You’ll never understand | 1.3712 | 0.05832 | 132 | 97 | 21 | 14 |
938 | I tried acting aloof, like you suggested, but then she brought out the Frisbee. | 1.3708 | 0.06468 | 89 | 62 | 21 | 6 |
939 | My biggest fear? Dying and coming back as a cat. | 1.3707 | 0.05812 | 116 | 82 | 25 | 9 |
940 | You wouldn't understand Dr. Katz, but it's demeaning. Everyone I meet feels free to call me by my first name. | 1.3707 | 0.06064 | 116 | 84 | 21 | 11 |
941 | So you're saying I should be less affectionate, more solitary, and stop pleasing others?" | 1.3706 | 0.05497 | 143 | 104 | 25 | 14 |
942 | People don't get that I'm a vegetarian by choice. | 1.3706 | 0.05315 | 143 | 102 | 29 | 12 |
943 | Who's a good boy? That's what I'm here to find out. | 1.3704 | 0.06113 | 108 | 77 | 22 | 9 |
944 | About this need to be obedient... | 1.3704 | 0.05970 | 108 | 76 | 24 | 8 |
945 | And I ran all the way out there, but the ball was still in his hand! | 1.3704 | 0.07338 | 81 | 59 | 14 | 8 |
946 | Who cares what your master thinks! | 1.3704 | 0.05538 | 135 | 97 | 26 | 12 |
947 | In the nightmare, I look down and I'm not wearing pants | 1.3700 | 0.06301 | 100 | 71 | 21 | 8 |
948 | I want to be more independent—you know. | 1.3700 | 0.06139 | 100 | 70 | 23 | 7 |
949 | They always ask "Who's a good boy?" But never "How's the good boy?" | 1.3700 | 0.05972 | 100 | 69 | 25 | 6 |
950 | Unlike you, I die after just one life | 1.3697 | 0.05581 | 119 | 83 | 28 | 8 |
951 | I guess it started when my owner started making me wear his clothes. | 1.3696 | 0.06128 | 92 | 63 | 24 | 5 |
952 | I’d like to explore more about your relationship with your mother but I think it would be best if you refrained from referring to her by that term. | 1.3696 | 0.05352 | 138 | 98 | 29 | 11 |
953 | This is sort of nice. I've never allowed on the couch at home. | 1.3696 | 0.05252 | 138 | 97 | 31 | 10 |
954 | I don't know, maybe I'm just burned out from always having to be Man's Best Friend. Unlike you, I find I can't just ignore them — even when they're acting like idiots. | 1.3696 | 0.06687 | 92 | 66 | 18 | 8 |
955 | All day long it’s ‘fetch this and ‘fetch that.’ It’s degrading, you know? | 1.3689 | 0.05359 | 122 | 84 | 31 | 7 |
956 | It’s always ‘Who’s a good boy’ and never ‘How’s a good boy’. | 1.3689 | 0.05958 | 122 | 89 | 21 | 12 |
957 | I'll tell ya, my mother is a real bitch. | 1.3688 | 0.05173 | 141 | 99 | 32 | 10 |
958 | Tell me more about your fire hydrant obsession | 1.3684 | 0.06702 | 95 | 69 | 17 | 9 |
959 | How did it make me feel? Honestly? Like - when they said it? Hmm. I guess it made me feel like a good, silly boy. | 1.3684 | 0.05387 | 133 | 94 | 29 | 10 |
960 | I can't shake the feeling that I'm stuck in a ridiculous cartoon. | 1.3684 | 0.06010 | 114 | 82 | 22 | 10 |
961 | He said he threw the ball, but I’m beginning to think he never did | 1.3684 | 0.06532 | 95 | 68 | 19 | 8 |
962 | Well, yes. I do wish I could nap during our sessions. | 1.3680 | 0.05148 | 125 | 85 | 34 | 6 |
963 | My wife asked if I felt foolish paying for all that cat litter. | 1.3680 | 0.05021 | 125 | 84 | 36 | 5 |
964 | I feel like I'm chasing my own tail doc. | 1.3680 | 0.05392 | 125 | 87 | 30 | 8 |
965 | I liked it better when I could just bark at you through the window. | 1.3679 | 0.05416 | 106 | 71 | 31 | 4 |
966 | You sure don't pussyfoot around do you? | 1.3678 | 0.06563 | 87 | 61 | 20 | 6 |
967 | I try my best but I just can't seem to learn the new tricks. | 1.3678 | 0.06764 | 87 | 62 | 18 | 7 |
968 | The only couch I’m allowed on, and I pay $200 an hour for the privilege. | 1.3676 | 0.05404 | 136 | 97 | 28 | 11 |
969 | You know what that bitch said to me next? | 1.3676 | 0.05302 | 136 | 96 | 30 | 10 |
970 | Despite our sessions, I'll confess that I still have a strong urge to chase you. | 1.3675 | 0.05897 | 117 | 84 | 23 | 10 |
971 | "As you well know, wearing the pants in the family means I can't wag my tail." | 1.3675 | 0.06021 | 117 | 85 | 21 | 11 |
972 | And are these cats in the room with us right now? | 1.3675 | 0.05509 | 117 | 81 | 29 | 7 |
973 | Why do I always feel like such a bad dog? | 1.3673 | 0.05116 | 147 | 104 | 32 | 11 |
974 | I'm such a good dog, why don't they respect me? | 1.3673 | 0.05116 | 147 | 104 | 32 | 11 |
975 | fetch heel sit drop....it's all so demeaning | 1.3672 | 0.05305 | 128 | 89 | 31 | 8 |
976 | They all say I’m aloof. Can you relate? | 1.3667 | 0.05415 | 120 | 83 | 30 | 7 |
977 | I don't know, I'm just not feeling the chase anymore. . . | 1.3664 | 0.05755 | 131 | 96 | 22 | 13 |
978 | I can't shake this persistent paranoid fear that cats are slowly taking over all positions of authority. | 1.3664 | 0.05332 | 131 | 92 | 30 | 9 |
979 | I dunno, Doc. Lately I feel like all I'm doing is chasing my own tail. | 1.3663 | 0.05399 | 101 | 67 | 31 | 3 |
980 | It's the dream where I am craving tuna fish that bothers me the most! | 1.3661 | 0.05672 | 112 | 78 | 27 | 7 |
981 | Nobody ever says, 'dog got your tongue?' | 1.3661 | 0.05528 | 112 | 77 | 29 | 6 |
982 | Sometimes, I WANT to be chased. | 1.3659 | 0.05569 | 123 | 87 | 27 | 9 |
983 | I was raised in a cat house. | 1.3659 | 0.06834 | 82 | 58 | 18 | 6 |
984 | I’m not codependent. I’m a dog. | 1.3659 | 0.06610 | 82 | 57 | 20 | 5 |
985 | I expect everyone to be glad to see me when I get home. Is that too much to ask? | 1.3657 | 0.05458 | 134 | 96 | 27 | 11 |
986 | To tell the truth, I like cats. | 1.3655 | 0.04973 | 145 | 101 | 35 | 9 |
987 | Then she laughed and said 'Cat got your tongue?' | 1.3655 | 0.05254 | 145 | 104 | 29 | 12 |
988 | I'm mortified. It was not an unwrapped tootsie roll. | 1.3654 | 0.06270 | 104 | 75 | 20 | 9 |
989 | I’m really not sure just how much emotional support I’m expected to provide. | 1.3654 | 0.06120 | 104 | 74 | 22 | 8 |
990 | …and ever since that episode I’ve lost the urge to bark at any postmen, bicyclists or even cats. | 1.3652 | 0.04991 | 115 | 80 | 30 | 5 |
991 | I'd love to chase you up a tree. | 1.3651 | 0.05920 | 126 | 93 | 20 | 13 |
992 | I dreamt that I ate you. | 1.3651 | 0.05589 | 126 | 90 | 26 | 10 |
993 | Sometimes I feel like my tail is wagging me. | 1.3651 | 0.05702 | 126 | 91 | 24 | 11 |
994 | For some reason I'm obsessed with chasing psychiatrists. | 1.3650 | 0.05063 | 137 | 95 | 34 | 8 |
995 | My father said he was going to the store for a box of biscuits but never came back. | 1.3650 | 0.04501 | 137 | 92 | 41 | 4 |
996 | Part of me really wants to say 'meow'. | 1.3644 | 0.05978 | 118 | 86 | 21 | 11 |
997 | Why would I try to trip my owner? | 1.3643 | 0.05385 | 129 | 91 | 29 | 9 |
998 | Have you tried being more aloof? | 1.3643 | 0.05712 | 129 | 94 | 23 | 12 |
999 | I know I’m a bit of a pushover, but I’m sick of everyone just expecting me to “roll over.” | 1.3643 | 0.05288 | 140 | 100 | 29 | 11 |
1000 | I really just want to go back to feeling like a good boy. | 1.3636 | 0.04946 | 154 | 109 | 34 | 11 |
1001 | And so you want me to let the cat out of the bag? | 1.3636 | 0.05407 | 132 | 94 | 28 | 10 |
1002 | You'll never guess what happened next. He picked up the ball and threw it again! | 1.3636 | 0.06892 | 88 | 64 | 16 | 8 |
1003 | They say I'm fixed. | 1.3636 | 0.06494 | 99 | 72 | 18 | 9 |
1004 | Tell me what YOU think it means to be a "good boy." | 1.3636 | 0.05512 | 132 | 95 | 26 | 11 |
1005 | They tell me I am a ‘good boy’, but after neutering I don’t know who I am. | 1.3636 | 0.05407 | 132 | 94 | 28 | 10 |
1006 | I'm trying to treat my humans like staff, but I just love them too much! | 1.3631 | 0.04795 | 157 | 110 | 37 | 10 |
1007 | Are you sure you’re okay with me being up on the couch? | 1.3630 | 0.05313 | 146 | 106 | 27 | 13 |
1008 | So you’re saying that my desire to chase you is just transference? | 1.3630 | 0.05321 | 135 | 96 | 29 | 10 |
1009 | Why do I let cats control me? | 1.3629 | 0.05035 | 124 | 84 | 35 | 5 |
1010 | I was told we would be doing some digging together. | 1.3629 | 0.05649 | 124 | 89 | 25 | 10 |
1011 | I just want you to like me. | 1.3628 | 0.05343 | 113 | 77 | 31 | 5 |
1012 | And when did you start to notice your obsession with chasing tail? | 1.3628 | 0.05905 | 113 | 81 | 23 | 9 |
1013 | I'm such a people-pleaser. | 1.3627 | 0.06198 | 102 | 73 | 21 | 8 |
1014 | It all started when they made me wear the Cone of Shame... | 1.3627 | 0.06198 | 102 | 73 | 21 | 8 |
1015 | Compulsive loyalty obsesses me. | 1.3623 | 0.05137 | 138 | 97 | 32 | 9 |
1016 | She's always saying, "Who's a good boy?" but she never says it's me | 1.3623 | 0.05628 | 138 | 102 | 22 | 14 |
1017 | But as I get older I start to wonder… who IS a good boy? | 1.3623 | 0.05239 | 138 | 98 | 30 | 10 |
1018 | What if I don't want to be everybody's best friend? | 1.3621 | 0.04958 | 116 | 77 | 36 | 3 |
1019 | Everyone always notices what the cat dragged in, but what about what I do?! | 1.3619 | 0.05918 | 105 | 74 | 24 | 7 |
1020 | I feel as though you're toying with me. | 1.3617 | 0.05160 | 141 | 100 | 31 | 10 |
1021 | Im stuck in this rat race | 1.3617 | 0.06739 | 94 | 69 | 16 | 9 |
1022 | Doctor, I've been a bad, bad boy! | 1.3614 | 0.06980 | 83 | 60 | 16 | 7 |
1023 | I could have told you that Freudian analyzing a Jungian just won't work . | 1.3613 | 0.05690 | 119 | 85 | 25 | 9 |
1024 | My fetching just isn’t what it used to be. | 1.3613 | 0.04657 | 155 | 107 | 40 | 8 |
1025 | She fell in love with a cat. | 1.3611 | 0.05652 | 108 | 75 | 27 | 6 |
1026 | Is it too much to ask that the world throw me a bone every now and again? | 1.3611 | 0.05271 | 144 | 104 | 28 | 12 |
1027 | My mother? She was such a bitch. | 1.3611 | 0.05497 | 108 | 74 | 29 | 5 |
1028 | You mean he’s not my best friend? | 1.3608 | 0.06419 | 97 | 70 | 19 | 8 |
1029 | And are these ‘squirrels’ in the room with us now? | 1.3607 | 0.05943 | 122 | 90 | 20 | 12 |
1030 | I feel like my owner fetishizes that I’m a rescue. | 1.3605 | 0.05709 | 86 | 57 | 27 | 2 |
1031 | I'm in the doghouse again and I don't see how you could possibly relate. | 1.3603 | 0.04859 | 136 | 93 | 37 | 6 |
1032 | But, Doc, the ‘wow’ ‘s gone from my ‘bow.’ | 1.3603 | 0.05589 | 136 | 100 | 23 | 13 |
1033 | I hate to admit this, but I like eating your poop. | 1.3600 | 0.05495 | 125 | 89 | 27 | 9 |
1034 | Tell someone who cares. | 1.3600 | 0.06280 | 100 | 72 | 20 | 8 |
1035 | Is a fire hydrant sometimes just a fire hydrant? | 1.3600 | 0.06280 | 100 | 72 | 20 | 8 |
1036 | Fluffy recommended you. | 1.3596 | 0.05157 | 114 | 77 | 33 | 4 |
1037 | I see cats everywhere! | 1.3594 | 0.05516 | 128 | 92 | 26 | 10 |
1038 | I'm here because I'm not allowed on the couches at home. | 1.3594 | 0.05404 | 128 | 91 | 28 | 9 |
1039 | I am having great difficulties coping with the extinction of humans" | 1.3594 | 0.05171 | 128 | 89 | 32 | 7 |
1040 | Sorry I said there's more than one way to Skinner a cat. Freudian slip. | 1.3592 | 0.06450 | 103 | 76 | 17 | 10 |
1041 | I am sure you hear this all the time, but my mother really was a bitch. | 1.3592 | 0.05505 | 142 | 105 | 23 | 14 |
1042 | And when did you discover this attraction for fire hydrants? | 1.3590 | 0.05753 | 117 | 84 | 24 | 9 |
1043 | It’s all about trust. When was the last time you saw a cat on a leash? | 1.3590 | 0.05624 | 117 | 83 | 26 | 8 |
1044 | I see cats everywhere I go. | 1.3588 | 0.05205 | 131 | 92 | 31 | 8 |
1045 | I didn't think you'd understand. | 1.3587 | 0.06101 | 92 | 64 | 23 | 5 |
1046 | I just wish they’d go back to the office… | 1.3583 | 0.06126 | 120 | 90 | 17 | 13 |
1047 | So... What you're telling me is... All this time... I've actually been a bad boy? | 1.3582 | 0.05443 | 134 | 97 | 26 | 11 |
1048 | Why are we the ones that always have to be walked? | 1.3582 | 0.04901 | 134 | 95 | 32 | 7 |
1049 | Are you writing or licking? | 1.3581 | 0.05252 | 148 | 108 | 27 | 13 |
1050 | I’m over dog food. I want to go to nice restaurants. | 1.3580 | 0.07095 | 81 | 59 | 15 | 7 |
1051 | I'm sorry, our hour is up. You shouldn't have circled around the couch for so long before laying down. | 1.3579 | 0.06679 | 95 | 70 | 16 | 9 |
1052 | How would you know if I’m barking up the wrong tree? | 1.3578 | 0.05456 | 109 | 75 | 29 | 5 |
1053 | I can't believe I'm telling my problems to a cat. | 1.3578 | 0.06186 | 109 | 80 | 19 | 10 |
1054 | I can't even sniff someone's butt anymore without worrying it might be misconstrued. | 1.3571 | 0.05793 | 112 | 80 | 24 | 8 |
1055 | So tell me, why do you lick yourself?” | 1.3571 | 0.05371 | 140 | 102 | 26 | 12 |
1056 | I don't know if you can understand what it is to be black. | 1.3571 | 0.05906 | 126 | 94 | 19 | 13 |
1057 | Why do I care so much? | 1.3571 | 0.06699 | 84 | 60 | 18 | 6 |
1058 | You were right about my mother... but I still can't bring myself to say it. | 1.3571 | 0.06910 | 84 | 61 | 16 | 7 |
1059 | My problems? All due to my mother. She was a bitch! | 1.3571 | 0.05459 | 126 | 90 | 27 | 9 |
1060 | I get the feeling you aren't listening to me. | 1.3571 | 0.06195 | 112 | 83 | 18 | 11 |
1061 | You say you love your mother, but you still call her a bitch | 1.3566 | 0.05472 | 143 | 106 | 23 | 14 |
1062 | I'm still waiting for my day. | 1.3566 | 0.05590 | 129 | 94 | 24 | 11 |
1063 | Sometimes I don't even know whose tail I'm even chasing. | 1.3566 | 0.05255 | 129 | 91 | 30 | 8 |
1064 | Are we still rivals? | 1.3566 | 0.05255 | 129 | 91 | 30 | 8 |
1065 | And here’s another pet peeve you can relate to… | 1.3565 | 0.05686 | 115 | 82 | 25 | 8 |
1066 | Wait, so you’re saying I SHOULD bury it? | 1.3565 | 0.05411 | 115 | 80 | 29 | 6 |
1067 | You whine a lot. | 1.3564 | 0.06227 | 101 | 73 | 20 | 8 |
1068 | It all started when I won Best in Show... | 1.3564 | 0.05374 | 101 | 68 | 30 | 3 |
1069 | I'm telling you doc, I just feel like I'm never gonna catch my tail. | 1.3564 | 0.06384 | 101 | 74 | 18 | 9 |
1070 | They always ask me who the good boy is, but never how the good boy is! :( | 1.3562 | 0.05026 | 146 | 104 | 32 | 10 |
1071 | Let me get this correct, you’ve lost the will to “fetch”? | 1.3561 | 0.05704 | 132 | 98 | 21 | 13 |
1072 | I tried your suggestion of an occasional cat nap -- it didn't help. | 1.3561 | 0.05283 | 132 | 94 | 29 | 9 |
1073 | I am a mixed-up breed. | 1.3561 | 0.05392 | 132 | 95 | 27 | 10 |
1074 | So are you still having dreams where your tail is chasing you?" | 1.3561 | 0.05392 | 132 | 95 | 27 | 10 |
1075 | Of course I’m depressed, it’s not like I’ve got nine lives. | 1.3559 | 0.05584 | 118 | 84 | 26 | 8 |
1076 | You're not even listening to me, are you? You're looking at that spider on the wall! | 1.3558 | 0.06249 | 104 | 76 | 19 | 9 |
1077 | ”Doc, why does it sound like a motor is running when I tell you my dreams? | 1.3557 | 0.04863 | 149 | 105 | 35 | 9 |
1078 | So I said to him, ‘Why CAN’T I learn new tricks?’ | 1.3556 | 0.05511 | 135 | 99 | 24 | 12 |
1079 | ...and that's when I realized I couldn't stay. | 1.3556 | 0.06574 | 90 | 65 | 18 | 7 |
1080 | Ever since I started transitioning, I’m torn between a fire hydrant and a litter box. | 1.3556 | 0.06574 | 90 | 65 | 18 | 7 |
1081 | I've gotta lay off the hallucinogenics, you're the cat therapist again. | 1.3554 | 0.05487 | 121 | 86 | 27 | 8 |
1082 | She left me because she said my bark was worse than my bite. | 1.3551 | 0.05827 | 107 | 76 | 24 | 7 |
1083 | That’s why I came to you- so you can help me learn to not care what they think. | 1.3548 | 0.05748 | 124 | 91 | 22 | 11 |
1084 | Not to be catty, but my mother was a bitch. | 1.3548 | 0.05075 | 155 | 113 | 29 | 13 |
1085 | How come no one makes you chase a stick? | 1.3545 | 0.05860 | 110 | 79 | 23 | 8 |
1086 | She came back from work again and asked me who the good boy is. | 1.3545 | 0.05260 | 110 | 75 | 31 | 4 |
1087 | Why is it that all of my best friends are humans? | 1.3545 | 0.05716 | 110 | 78 | 25 | 7 |
1088 | I dreamt that I was a stud dog. | 1.3545 | 0.05860 | 110 | 79 | 23 | 8 |
1089 | They rejected me as a Dogs Playing Poker model. | 1.3545 | 0.06138 | 110 | 81 | 19 | 10 |
1090 | Let me chew on that for awhile. | 1.3543 | 0.05306 | 127 | 90 | 29 | 8 |
1091 | What’s most distressing is that I don’t want to tear you apart. | 1.3543 | 0.05423 | 127 | 91 | 27 | 9 |
1092 | Life - and particularly my wife - is a bitch. | 1.3543 | 0.05306 | 127 | 90 | 29 | 8 |
1093 | So I said, Can’t I be a best friend and still have a life? | 1.3540 | 0.05886 | 113 | 82 | 22 | 9 |
1094 | Why don’t they say DOGS and CATS? | 1.3540 | 0.05611 | 113 | 80 | 26 | 7 |
1095 | It is all because my mother is a bitch. | 1.3540 | 0.05750 | 113 | 81 | 24 | 8 |
1096 | How does that make me feel? Usually hungry | 1.3538 | 0.05660 | 130 | 96 | 22 | 12 |
1097 | It's a dog eat dog world out there. | 1.3535 | 0.06144 | 99 | 71 | 21 | 7 |
1098 | Do you ever feel you’re just chasing your tail? | 1.3535 | 0.05799 | 99 | 69 | 25 | 5 |
1099 | Who’s a good boy? they say. “I dunno, who? I say | 1.3535 | 0.06628 | 99 | 74 | 15 | 10 |
1100 | Every night it's the same dream. It's my mother, and she's saying, 'I guess I'm just more of a cat person.' | 1.3535 | 0.05974 | 99 | 70 | 23 | 6 |
1101 | And then, unlike other puppies, I felt a deep desire to play with balls of yarn. | 1.3534 | 0.05645 | 116 | 83 | 25 | 8 |
1102 | The ball under the sofa is a huge concern! | 1.3534 | 0.05776 | 116 | 84 | 23 | 9 |
1103 | What would you know about the dog days of summer. | 1.3529 | 0.05282 | 119 | 83 | 30 | 6 |
1104 | I think the only reason I keep coming back is because this is the only place I'm allowed on the couch | 1.3529 | 0.06633 | 85 | 61 | 18 | 6 |
1105 | Yes, I do remember PUSSY GALORE! | 1.3529 | 0.05415 | 119 | 84 | 28 | 7 |
1106 | Should I be concerned that I don't want to kill you? | 1.3529 | 0.05853 | 102 | 72 | 24 | 6 |
1107 | I ‘m always too eager to please people all the time. That’s why my last therapist recommended I come to you. He said you could help me see things from a different perspective.” | 1.3529 | 0.05063 | 136 | 96 | 32 | 8 |
1108 | I'm not sure meow mix is going to fix the problem, doctor. | 1.3525 | 0.05092 | 139 | 99 | 31 | 9 |
1109 | ‘Pussy whipped’ is no longer an acceptable diagnosis. | 1.3524 | 0.06049 | 105 | 76 | 21 | 8 |
1110 | We have just begun to scratch the surface." | 1.3524 | 0.06199 | 105 | 77 | 19 | 9 |
1111 | Curiosity killed the cat… | 1.3523 | 0.06865 | 88 | 65 | 15 | 8 |
1112 | I know I shouldn’t care, but how can I know for sure if I’m really a “good boy”? | 1.3520 | 0.05478 | 125 | 90 | 26 | 9 |
1113 | I thought you were Jewish, Dr. Cats. | 1.3520 | 0.05709 | 125 | 92 | 22 | 11 |
1114 | He made me sit while he barked questions at me. | 1.3519 | 0.05929 | 108 | 78 | 22 | 8 |
1115 | You just don't get it. I am a dog person. | 1.3517 | 0.05041 | 145 | 104 | 31 | 10 |
1116 | I can’t climb a tree. | 1.3516 | 0.06323 | 91 | 65 | 20 | 6 |
1117 | Some days I just don't feel like I want to do my business. | 1.3514 | 0.05955 | 111 | 81 | 21 | 9 |
1118 | I'm not a good boy, and I keep learning new tricks.What do you think is wrong with me? | 1.3514 | 0.05412 | 148 | 111 | 22 | 15 |
1119 | I won the Ugly Dog contest. | 1.3514 | 0.05377 | 111 | 77 | 29 | 5 |
1120 | I dunno doc. Sometimes I wish they'd ask "how's the good boy". | 1.3511 | 0.05410 | 131 | 95 | 26 | 10 |
1121 | So I know I’m a dog but I really identify as feline. | 1.3511 | 0.05301 | 131 | 94 | 28 | 9 |
1122 | I was the runt of the litter... | 1.3511 | 0.06715 | 94 | 70 | 15 | 9 |
1123 | I' m in love with a cat! | 1.3509 | 0.05973 | 114 | 84 | 20 | 10 |
1124 | I hear you, but people pleaser is sort of my jam. | 1.3507 | 0.05324 | 134 | 97 | 27 | 10 |
1125 | I'm sure you won't understand, but I have this horrible will to please ... | 1.3505 | 0.06561 | 97 | 72 | 16 | 9 |
1126 | I can't agree that all my problems arose from my mother being a bitch. | 1.3505 | 0.06225 | 97 | 70 | 20 | 7 |
1127 | Then why can't I hear the whistle? | 1.3505 | 0.06395 | 97 | 71 | 18 | 8 |
1128 | Work is always: 'Fetch this!' and 'Fetch that!' Just throw me a bone. | 1.3504 | 0.05051 | 117 | 80 | 33 | 4 |
1129 | What's there to tell? My mother was a bitch and I never knew my father. | 1.3504 | 0.05735 | 117 | 85 | 23 | 9 |
1130 | In the dream, the tail is chasing me." | 1.3500 | 0.05632 | 120 | 87 | 24 | 9 |
1131 | It's extraordinarily difficult for me to talk about my inner felines. | 1.3500 | 0.04708 | 160 | 114 | 36 | 10 |
1132 | I don't know what it is, but I feel like I'm chasing something that I'll never catch. | 1.3496 | 0.05535 | 123 | 89 | 25 | 9 |
1133 | Sometimes I feel like the tail I'm chasing is my own. | 1.3496 | 0.05030 | 123 | 85 | 33 | 5 |
1134 | Have you considered an emotional support human? | 1.3496 | 0.05770 | 123 | 91 | 21 | 11 |
1135 | Doc, I'll be honest. Sometimes it feels like we're speaking two different languages. | 1.3495 | 0.05640 | 103 | 72 | 26 | 5 |
1136 | You don’t understand if you’re not a “Doodle” you’re nothing! | 1.3495 | 0.05640 | 103 | 72 | 26 | 5 |
1137 | Of course I’m anxious - I’m not supposed to be on the couch! | 1.3494 | 0.06513 | 83 | 59 | 19 | 5 |
1138 | I am having fantasies of you chasing me. | 1.3493 | 0.05012 | 146 | 105 | 31 | 10 |
1139 | The Transitioning has been going fairly well, but I am having a bit of trouble with the "Mee-oow" part | 1.3492 | 0.05323 | 126 | 90 | 28 | 8 |
1140 | People don’t expect cats to be good. | 1.3492 | 0.05557 | 126 | 92 | 24 | 10 |
1141 | Well, the vet said I needed a cat-scan. | 1.3491 | 0.06149 | 106 | 78 | 19 | 9 |
1142 | I just can't shake the feeling that I've been a bad, bad boy. | 1.3491 | 0.05694 | 106 | 75 | 25 | 6 |
1143 | Most days it feels like I’m chained to my desk. | 1.3491 | 0.05694 | 106 | 75 | 25 | 6 |
1144 | I think we’ve had enough sessions now, that we can take off the cat and dog heads. | 1.3486 | 0.05884 | 109 | 79 | 22 | 8 |
1145 | She called me a rare breed. But we both know that’s not true. | 1.3486 | 0.05587 | 109 | 77 | 26 | 6 |
1146 | I'm tired of barking up the wrong trees. | 1.3486 | 0.05433 | 109 | 76 | 28 | 5 |
1147 | Now you're just being catty. | 1.3485 | 0.05376 | 132 | 96 | 26 | 10 |
1148 | It's my mother, she is such a bitch! | 1.3482 | 0.05772 | 112 | 81 | 23 | 8 |
1149 | So after I read "Portrait of a Dog as a Young Man", and got involved with Eastern religions and realized thoughts are things, there was no going back. | 1.3482 | 0.05631 | 112 | 80 | 25 | 7 |
1150 | My mother may have been a bitch, but your father was a ... | 1.3482 | 0.05338 | 112 | 78 | 29 | 5 |
1151 | Doc, I've been having this dream that a cat is my therapist. | 1.3482 | 0.05338 | 112 | 78 | 29 | 5 |
1152 | I tried the knocking-things-over therapy you suggested, but it just made me feel like a bad boy. | 1.3478 | 0.05799 | 115 | 84 | 22 | 9 |
1153 | I've always identified as feline. | 1.3478 | 0.05505 | 138 | 103 | 22 | 13 |
1154 | He only praises me when I eat his homework. | 1.3478 | 0.06056 | 115 | 86 | 18 | 11 |
1155 | She said I was too needy. | 1.3478 | 0.05872 | 92 | 64 | 24 | 4 |
1156 | It was raining, you’ll pardon the expression, dogs and cats. | 1.3478 | 0.05247 | 115 | 80 | 30 | 5 |
1157 | What if being a good boy is as far as I can go in life. Can you relate? | 1.3478 | 0.05390 | 115 | 81 | 28 | 6 |
1158 | Doc, I’m not crazy! The vacuum cleaner is working with the mailman to overthrow the government! And the only way to stop it is to constantly bark at them until they go away! | 1.3475 | 0.05419 | 141 | 105 | 23 | 13 |
1159 | You say I have to be cured of my pathetic need to be loved ... It's not going to involve surgery this time, is it? | 1.3475 | 0.05819 | 118 | 87 | 21 | 10 |
1160 | I keep wanting to buy a pet human. | 1.3475 | 0.05298 | 118 | 83 | 29 | 6 |
1161 | When did people pleasing become a syndrome? | 1.3475 | 0.05433 | 118 | 84 | 27 | 7 |
1162 | But do I get more time if we count the minutes in dog years? | 1.3475 | 0.05565 | 118 | 85 | 25 | 8 |
1163 | To be honest, I had something else in mind when they said we were getting a therapy cat. | 1.3475 | 0.05565 | 118 | 85 | 25 | 8 |
1164 | So you’re saying - the good boy is in myself? | 1.3474 | 0.05751 | 95 | 66 | 25 | 4 |
1165 | and then she had the audacity to call me a pussy | 1.3471 | 0.05593 | 121 | 88 | 24 | 9 |
1166 | I never got over being the runt of the litter. | 1.3471 | 0.05469 | 121 | 87 | 26 | 8 |
1167 | I don't wanna wear these fucking pants | 1.3469 | 0.05998 | 98 | 70 | 22 | 6 |
1168 | He throws the ball and I look over, but it's not there. | 1.3469 | 0.06171 | 98 | 71 | 20 | 7 |
1169 | I know you only treat cats. But I identify as cat. | 1.3468 | 0.05497 | 124 | 90 | 25 | 9 |
1170 | What if you focused less on being a “good boy” and more on being a decent husband | 1.3468 | 0.05377 | 124 | 89 | 27 | 8 |
1171 | I had a ruff week. | 1.3465 | 0.05705 | 101 | 71 | 25 | 5 |
1172 | I chase the sticks, but it’s the ball of yarn I yearn for | 1.3465 | 0.05405 | 127 | 92 | 26 | 9 |
1173 | Some days I think I went into this just so she would call me a good boy. | 1.3462 | 0.06536 | 78 | 55 | 19 | 4 |
1174 | How do I tell them I’m not their best friend? | 1.3462 | 0.05920 | 104 | 75 | 22 | 7 |
1175 | Is fear of water your answer for everything? | 1.3462 | 0.05920 | 104 | 75 | 22 | 7 |
1176 | I dreamt a man bit me, and it was all over the news. | 1.3462 | 0.05920 | 104 | 75 | 22 | 7 |
1177 | My paranoia is getting worse – I'm thinking I even bore you. | 1.3462 | 0.05595 | 104 | 73 | 26 | 5 |
1178 | So you really want to be a cat? | 1.3459 | 0.05124 | 133 | 95 | 30 | 8 |
1179 | I feel like it's been ages since I learnt any new tricks. | 1.3458 | 0.05954 | 107 | 78 | 21 | 8 |
1180 | This is karma I guess. | 1.3458 | 0.05650 | 107 | 76 | 25 | 6 |
1181 | I've been dreaming of balls again... | 1.3458 | 0.05650 | 107 | 76 | 25 | 6 |
1182 | In my dream, the rain... is like us | 1.3458 | 0.05804 | 107 | 77 | 23 | 7 |
1183 | Why do you think bringing the ball back makes you his best friend? | 1.3458 | 0.05804 | 107 | 77 | 23 | 7 |
1184 | Even at the higher dose the catnip does nothing for me. | 1.3458 | 0.05492 | 107 | 75 | 27 | 5 |
1185 | Is this still legal in the red states? | 1.3457 | 0.07062 | 81 | 60 | 14 | 7 |
1186 | Fetch this. Fetch that. I just don't feel like it's going anywhere. | 1.3455 | 0.05546 | 110 | 78 | 26 | 6 |
1187 | I think the monsters in my dreams symbolize vacuum cleaners. | 1.3455 | 0.05546 | 110 | 78 | 26 | 6 |
1188 | Do you think my problem is that I am being too dogged? | 1.3451 | 0.05446 | 113 | 80 | 27 | 6 |
1189 | There are times I feel you don’t understand a thing I say | 1.3451 | 0.05589 | 113 | 81 | 25 | 7 |
1190 | Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m just running around in circles. | 1.3448 | 0.05210 | 116 | 81 | 30 | 5 |
1191 | Once again Mr. Fido, when did you first start thinking of your mother as a bitch? | 1.3448 | 0.05757 | 116 | 85 | 22 | 9 |
1192 | No offense, but it's all I can to do to keep from chasing you out of your own office. | 1.3445 | 0.05124 | 119 | 83 | 31 | 5 |
1193 | And I have to pee outside. It isn't fair. | 1.3444 | 0.06153 | 90 | 64 | 21 | 5 |
1194 | I know that you probably can't relate to my attraction to fire plugs, but.... | 1.3444 | 0.05946 | 90 | 63 | 23 | 4 |
1195 | Is it ethically appropriate for us to continue these sessions given that I’ve, well… eaten out of your litter box? | 1.3443 | 0.05793 | 122 | 91 | 20 | 11 |
1196 | I’m worried that you won’t help me overcome my fear of cats”. | 1.3441 | 0.05616 | 93 | 64 | 26 | 3 |
1197 | It’s time to come out of the kennel. I like to play with string. | 1.3440 | 0.05577 | 125 | 92 | 23 | 10 |
1198 | She always asks who's the good boy, but never how's the good boy. | 1.3438 | 0.05702 | 96 | 67 | 25 | 4 |
1199 | The hounds of spring are now on winter's traces. | 1.3438 | 0.06594 | 96 | 72 | 15 | 9 |
1200 | Sounds like you’ve been chasing your own tail, Rex. | 1.3438 | 0.05014 | 128 | 90 | 32 | 6 |
1201 | Sometimes I feel that you don't really understand me | 1.3434 | 0.05772 | 99 | 70 | 24 | 5 |
1202 | I dream about chasing cats | 1.3434 | 0.06119 | 99 | 72 | 20 | 7 |
1203 | Why should you get nine lives when I only get one? | 1.3434 | 0.05772 | 99 | 70 | 24 | 5 |
1204 | Strangely enough, I'm a therapy dog who needs therapy. | 1.3431 | 0.05659 | 102 | 72 | 25 | 5 |
1205 | I just want people to like me. | 1.3431 | 0.05992 | 102 | 74 | 21 | 7 |
1206 | it's just not a dogs world anymore... | 1.3429 | 0.05552 | 105 | 74 | 26 | 5 |
1207 | As Felix listened to yet another patient ramble, he began to ponder how his life might have been different had he just remained an indoor cat. | 1.3426 | 0.06052 | 108 | 80 | 19 | 9 |
1208 | I mean, does it have to be a dog eat dog world? | 1.3426 | 0.05759 | 108 | 78 | 23 | 7 |
1209 | I’m tired of jumping through hoops. | 1.3423 | 0.05651 | 111 | 80 | 24 | 7 |
1210 | I guess it finally hit me I've never been a good boy to myself. | 1.3423 | 0.05108 | 149 | 110 | 27 | 12 |
1211 | They told me I needed to start working like a dog. | 1.3421 | 0.04957 | 114 | 78 | 33 | 3 |
1212 | I really miss licking myself. | 1.3421 | 0.05687 | 114 | 83 | 23 | 8 |
1213 | Do any of your patients actually catch lasers ? | 1.3421 | 0.05407 | 114 | 81 | 27 | 6 |
1214 | I want to be independent but every time he gives me a treat I cave and follow him around like a puppy. | 1.3419 | 0.04881 | 155 | 113 | 31 | 11 |
1215 | You don't understand. My mother really was a bitch. | 1.3417 | 0.05736 | 120 | 89 | 21 | 10 |
1216 | If we want to emulate humans, must we include their hang ups? | 1.3415 | 0.05516 | 123 | 90 | 24 | 9 |
1217 | It was a nightmare. Can you imagine if cats & dogs fought in real life? | 1.3415 | 0.05141 | 123 | 87 | 30 | 6 |
1218 | My boss is a squirrel and he makes me crazy.' | 1.3415 | 0.05141 | 123 | 87 | 30 | 6 |
1219 | Before we get started I'm going to have to ask you to get off the couch... | 1.3412 | 0.06809 | 85 | 63 | 15 | 7 |
1220 | I sleep all night, most of the day and when my owner gets home, I’m told to go lie down. | 1.3412 | 0.06385 | 85 | 61 | 19 | 5 |
1221 | I mean, loyalty counts for something, right? | 1.3412 | 0.06161 | 85 | 60 | 21 | 4 |
1222 | Is it because I don't poop in a box? | 1.3411 | 0.05335 | 129 | 94 | 26 | 9 |
1223 | Why are dogs always so needy? | 1.3409 | 0.06442 | 88 | 64 | 18 | 6 |
1224 | She thinks I just lay around and sleep all day while she's gone. | 1.3409 | 0.06442 | 88 | 64 | 18 | 6 |
1225 | The hissing isn't helping my self confidence. | 1.3409 | 0.06442 | 88 | 64 | 18 | 6 |
1226 | I've never gotten into the dog eat dog life. | 1.3409 | 0.06023 | 88 | 62 | 22 | 4 |
1227 | My father chased cats too. | 1.3407 | 0.05274 | 135 | 99 | 26 | 10 |
1228 | You would not believe the pressure I'm under to be a good boy. | 1.3407 | 0.05893 | 91 | 64 | 23 | 4 |
1229 | I knew you would listen to me because cats are so curious | 1.3407 | 0.06294 | 91 | 66 | 19 | 6 |
1230 | I just can’t help feeling that whatever I say is going to somehow be used against me. | 1.3404 | 0.06688 | 94 | 71 | 14 | 9 |
1231 | Just tell me I can land on my feet after all this | 1.3404 | 0.06154 | 94 | 68 | 20 | 6 |
1232 | It began when they named me Rover...I felt lost ever since. | 1.3403 | 0.04743 | 144 | 102 | 35 | 7 |
1233 | I know you said I should face my fears but vacuum sales is just not working out. | 1.3400 | 0.05898 | 100 | 72 | 22 | 6 |
1234 | It's so humiliating, but I love to play with string! | 1.3400 | 0.05545 | 100 | 70 | 26 | 4 |
1235 | I no longer have the urge to chase cats. | 1.3400 | 0.05360 | 100 | 69 | 28 | 3 |
1236 | Is it possible that you have a conflict of interest? | 1.3400 | 0.04990 | 150 | 110 | 29 | 11 |
1237 | Ok, word association isn't really going to be a useful therapy tool if all you can think of is 'bone'. | 1.3398 | 0.05264 | 103 | 71 | 29 | 3 |
1238 | Sit. Lie down. Speak. | 1.3398 | 0.05614 | 103 | 73 | 25 | 5 |
1239 | You should make yourself happy, not others happy. | 1.3396 | 0.06271 | 106 | 80 | 16 | 10 |
1240 | So, running across an 8 lane highway will build my self confidence? | 1.3396 | 0.05978 | 106 | 78 | 20 | 8 |
1241 | I've been a depressed boy. | 1.3396 | 0.05978 | 106 | 78 | 20 | 8 |
1242 | It’s always “let’s go for a W-A-L-K” and never “let’s have a T-A-L-K.” | 1.3396 | 0.05669 | 106 | 76 | 24 | 6 |
1243 | A Dog Day Afternoon | 1.3396 | 0.06271 | 106 | 80 | 16 | 10 |
1244 | I know I’m a good boy but what if that’s just not enough? | 1.3394 | 0.05409 | 109 | 77 | 27 | 5 |
1245 | I think I'm turning into a bit of a dog person | 1.3394 | 0.05714 | 109 | 79 | 23 | 7 |
1246 | Could you please stop referring to my mother as “the bitch”? | 1.3393 | 0.05750 | 112 | 82 | 22 | 8 |
1247 | I just haven’t been myself since the hairballs started. | 1.3393 | 0.05609 | 112 | 81 | 24 | 7 |
1248 | My wife and I are fighting like cats and dogs. | 1.3391 | 0.05909 | 115 | 86 | 19 | 10 |
1249 | But what does it mean to REALLY be a ‘good boy’? | 1.3391 | 0.05645 | 115 | 84 | 23 | 8 |
1250 | My mother? She was a real bitch. | 1.3388 | 0.05574 | 121 | 89 | 23 | 9 |
1251 | I know I could have used a litter box if they would have just let me try it. | 1.3388 | 0.05321 | 121 | 87 | 27 | 7 |
1252 | Sometimes I think you are just toying with me. | 1.3386 | 0.04901 | 127 | 89 | 33 | 5 |
1253 | And then…. Hey! Are you even listening to me? | 1.3386 | 0.05387 | 127 | 93 | 25 | 9 |
1254 | It’s kind of weird that we have human bodies. I guess it’s because if you drew a normal dog lying on its back you’d have to draw the dog’s dick. | 1.3377 | 0.07066 | 77 | 57 | 14 | 6 |
1255 | I used to find her attractive. Now I just want to chase my own tail. | 1.3377 | 0.06299 | 77 | 54 | 20 | 3 |
1256 | I know you probably think I'm just whining... | 1.3376 | 0.04995 | 157 | 117 | 27 | 13 |
1257 | Why don't I want to chase you anymore? | 1.3375 | 0.06643 | 80 | 58 | 17 | 5 |
1258 | I never had my day, and that really bugs me. | 1.3375 | 0.07103 | 80 | 60 | 13 | 7 |
1259 | I just can’t ignore humans when they call my name like you’d suggested. | 1.3372 | 0.06535 | 86 | 63 | 17 | 6 |
1260 | Nobody really understands me except Pete Best. I was the original drummer for Three Dog Night. | 1.3372 | 0.06535 | 86 | 63 | 17 | 6 |
1261 | I know I am man's best friend but is man mine? | 1.3371 | 0.06381 | 89 | 65 | 18 | 6 |
1262 | I TRY to be a Good Boy! But really, what's the point? | 1.3368 | 0.06627 | 95 | 72 | 14 | 9 |
1263 | If I'm their best friend, why do I have to sit up and beg? | 1.3368 | 0.05913 | 95 | 68 | 22 | 5 |
1264 | I know it's foolish but I can't help be feel guilty about about spraying every fire hydrant. | 1.3368 | 0.06280 | 95 | 70 | 18 | 7 |
1265 | It started when my mother named me "Stay." | 1.3367 | 0.06313 | 98 | 73 | 17 | 8 |
1266 | So I said "Hey, some of my best friends are cats." | 1.3367 | 0.05971 | 98 | 71 | 21 | 6 |
1267 | Tell me how this insatiable desire to please came about. | 1.3367 | 0.05607 | 98 | 69 | 25 | 4 |
1268 | I was alone all day, and it was horrible! You know what I mean? | 1.3367 | 0.05607 | 98 | 69 | 25 | 4 |
1269 | My owner won't go back to his office! | 1.3366 | 0.06016 | 101 | 74 | 20 | 7 |
1270 | She was a you-know-what, my mother. | 1.3366 | 0.05849 | 101 | 73 | 22 | 6 |
1271 | I feel like everyone's so aloof — even you. | 1.3365 | 0.06051 | 104 | 77 | 19 | 8 |
1272 | Who says a dog can't be aloof? | 1.3365 | 0.05734 | 104 | 75 | 23 | 6 |
1273 | You know Waldo, we must discuss the car chasing eventually. | 1.3365 | 0.05895 | 104 | 76 | 21 | 7 |
1274 | And these ‘cats’… are they with us in the room right now? | 1.3365 | 0.06051 | 104 | 77 | 19 | 8 |
1275 | Am I too needy? | 1.3364 | 0.05133 | 107 | 74 | 30 | 3 |
1276 | Have you ever considered the possibility that you’ve been chasing after the wrong things? | 1.3364 | 0.05625 | 107 | 77 | 24 | 6 |
1277 | You got my tongue doc. | 1.3364 | 0.05522 | 110 | 79 | 25 | 6 |
1278 | This is the first piece of furniture I've been on in years. | 1.3364 | 0.05211 | 110 | 77 | 29 | 4 |
1279 | Doc, I just can't seem to learn any new tricks. | 1.3364 | 0.05671 | 110 | 80 | 23 | 7 |
1280 | So, aside from your feelings of guilt about being on the couch, is there anything else you'd like to talk about? | 1.3364 | 0.05816 | 110 | 81 | 21 | 8 |
1281 | I keep dreaming I’m on a hot tin roof. | 1.3364 | 0.06096 | 110 | 83 | 17 | 10 |
1282 | In a dog-eat-dog world I don't understand how cats fit in. | 1.3363 | 0.05567 | 113 | 82 | 24 | 7 |
1283 | They treat me like a dog, but I just can't stop loving them! | 1.3363 | 0.05844 | 113 | 84 | 20 | 9 |
1284 | Look, I don't expect you to get this, but every time he calls my name, I run to his side. | 1.3363 | 0.05844 | 113 | 84 | 20 | 9 |
1285 | These dog days are getting me down. You, doctor couldn’t possibly understand! | 1.3363 | 0.05567 | 113 | 82 | 24 | 7 |
1286 | It was a terrible dream. A wolf was following me in sheep’s clothing. | 1.3362 | 0.04889 | 116 | 80 | 33 | 3 |
1287 | Sometimes I just feel like I’m barking up the wrong tree. | 1.3361 | 0.05021 | 122 | 86 | 31 | 5 |
1288 | But my inner validation is being a good boy. | 1.3359 | 0.04675 | 131 | 91 | 36 | 4 |
1289 | Sometimes I think you don't care. | 1.3359 | 0.04920 | 131 | 93 | 32 | 6 |
1290 | I mean, you must chase cars too, right doc? | 1.3359 | 0.05266 | 131 | 96 | 26 | 9 |
1291 | It stresses me out that you get to sit but I have to lie down. | 1.3359 | 0.05153 | 131 | 95 | 28 | 8 |
1292 | I just wonder sometimes if any of us are "good boys." | 1.3333 | 0.06224 | 96 | 71 | 18 | 7 |
1293 | In my dream it was raining like…well, you know. | 1.3333 | 0.06299 | 105 | 80 | 15 | 10 |
1294 | It’s easy for you to say…I have to live a dog’s life, you at least get nine to work out your issues. | 1.3333 | 0.05966 | 102 | 75 | 20 | 7 |
1295 | My wife is part pit bull. If she finds out we’re both dead. | 1.3333 | 0.05694 | 117 | 87 | 21 | 9 |
1296 | Yeah, but to you being cool comes naturally. | 1.3333 | 0.05475 | 96 | 67 | 26 | 3 |
1297 | The weirdest part wasn't burying bones or chasing after cars, it was when I killed you like eight times and you wouldn't die. | 1.3333 | 0.06632 | 84 | 62 | 16 | 6 |
1298 | Nobody told me you're famous. Nice boots! | 1.3333 | 0.05688 | 105 | 76 | 23 | 6 |
1299 | You know Dr., I’m really not sensing much empathy here. | 1.3333 | 0.05581 | 108 | 78 | 24 | 6 |
1300 | So why aren't you saying something? Cat got your tongue? | 1.3333 | 0.05383 | 114 | 82 | 26 | 6 |
1301 | Am I too old to be a good boy? | 1.3333 | 0.06179 | 93 | 68 | 19 | 6 |
1302 | Am I a good boy though, Doc? Am I? | 1.3333 | 0.05822 | 117 | 88 | 19 | 10 |
1303 | I try to be good, but then there was the incident at Take Your Dog to Work day. | 1.3333 | 0.06120 | 90 | 65 | 20 | 5 |
1304 | I still don’t understand my addiction to kitty porn… | 1.3333 | 0.05120 | 132 | 99 | 25 | 8 |
1305 | Please help me Doc, I can’t stop killing cats! | 1.3333 | 0.06258 | 99 | 74 | 17 | 8 |
1306 | My mother? She was a bitch. | 1.3333 | 0.06002 | 105 | 78 | 19 | 8 |
1307 | I'm sorry...was that sarcasm? | 1.3333 | 0.05883 | 108 | 80 | 20 | 8 |
1308 | When we're done, what'ya say I chase you up a tree. | 1.3333 | 0.05819 | 87 | 61 | 23 | 3 |
1309 | And how did you feel when he buried your bone? | 1.3333 | 0.06515 | 90 | 67 | 16 | 7 |
1310 | I don't know if this is transference, but I want to jump off this couch and chase you around the room. | 1.3333 | 0.05336 | 120 | 87 | 26 | 7 |
1311 | And if you ever managed to catch one,what then? | 1.3333 | 0.05688 | 105 | 76 | 23 | 6 |
1312 | I’m a people person at heart. Surely you can relate? | 1.3333 | 0.05801 | 102 | 74 | 22 | 6 |
1313 | i’m starting to feel and act independent and aloof! | 1.3333 | 0.07027 | 81 | 61 | 13 | 7 |
1314 | But, I am a good boy. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. | 1.3333 | 0.06029 | 108 | 81 | 18 | 9 |
1315 | No I don’t generally have trust issues. | 1.3333 | 0.05328 | 111 | 79 | 27 | 5 |
1316 | I have but one life to live. | 1.3333 | 0.05801 | 102 | 74 | 22 | 6 |
1317 | So,a friend of a friend said I should ask you about getting one of those Emotional Support Human letters. You know, for traveling… | 1.3333 | 0.05480 | 111 | 80 | 25 | 6 |
1318 | My owner said I need to be cat friendly. What does that even mean? | 1.3333 | 0.05429 | 117 | 85 | 25 | 7 |
1319 | You can still be a good boy and think your mother was a bitch. | 1.3333 | 0.05688 | 105 | 76 | 23 | 6 |
1320 | I'm not like you. They make me use the bathroom outside and it's just so demeaning. | 1.3333 | 0.05800 | 114 | 85 | 20 | 9 |
1321 | She says I lack commitment because I don't want puppies. | 1.3333 | 0.05987 | 93 | 67 | 21 | 5 |
1322 | But why can't I be my own best friend? | 1.3333 | 0.07132 | 72 | 53 | 14 | 5 |
1323 | I'm thinking of changing my pronoun from "it". | 1.3333 | 0.05593 | 120 | 89 | 22 | 9 |
1324 | It’s called “The Good Boy Complex” | 1.3333 | 0.05788 | 93 | 66 | 23 | 4 |
1325 | I am tired of all the people-pleasing and playing the clown in this dysfunctional family. | 1.3333 | 0.06421 | 99 | 75 | 15 | 9 |
1326 | Maybe they just don't want that ball, try bringing them a dead bird next time and let's see how it goes. | 1.3333 | 0.05801 | 102 | 74 | 22 | 6 |
1327 | I can tell you’re not listening to me. I can hear you purring. | 1.3333 | 0.05631 | 102 | 73 | 24 | 5 |
1328 | Have _you_ ever gotten caught humping the neighbor’s leg under the table? | 1.3333 | 0.05201 | 129 | 94 | 27 | 8 |
1329 | It's always sit, stay, fetch. You know, the general stress of being a companion animal. | 1.3309 | 0.05328 | 136 | 102 | 23 | 11 |
1330 | I'm tired of sniffing people's crotches... | 1.3308 | 0.04859 | 133 | 95 | 32 | 6 |
1331 | Have you tried incessant insubordination and a lack of the most basic understanding of affection? We’ve seen terrific results. | 1.3308 | 0.05198 | 133 | 98 | 26 | 9 |
1332 | Transitioning from dog to cat is a serious step. How long have you felt like you are really a cat in a dog’s body? | 1.3306 | 0.05337 | 124 | 91 | 25 | 8 |
1333 | But how do I be my own best friend? | 1.3306 | 0.05428 | 121 | 89 | 24 | 8 |
1334 | I’m sorry, I guess the cat has my tongue. | 1.3304 | 0.05289 | 112 | 80 | 27 | 5 |
1335 | I just have a feeling that you don't have my best interests at heart... | 1.3304 | 0.06001 | 112 | 85 | 17 | 10 |
1336 | He gets this ukulele and sings, "My Dog Has Fleas". I'm disgusting! | 1.3303 | 0.05383 | 109 | 78 | 26 | 5 |
1337 | The thrill of the chase, its Gone ! | 1.3302 | 0.05800 | 106 | 78 | 21 | 7 |
1338 | It all starts with my mother. Not to be catty, but she's a bitch. | 1.3302 | 0.05643 | 106 | 77 | 23 | 6 |
1339 | I think I have feline tendencies. | 1.3302 | 0.05643 | 106 | 77 | 23 | 6 |
1340 | And then I heard her telling him that he's a good boy. Do you think she's cheating on me? | 1.3302 | 0.05482 | 106 | 76 | 25 | 5 |
1341 | Lately I don’t feel like a particularly good boy.” | 1.3301 | 0.05586 | 103 | 74 | 24 | 5 |
1342 | I feel like a pussy. | 1.3301 | 0.05917 | 103 | 76 | 20 | 7 |
1343 | So…. It appears the cat’s got your tongue today | 1.3301 | 0.05753 | 103 | 75 | 22 | 6 |
1344 | All she wants to do is have me fetch this and fetch that. | 1.3300 | 0.05695 | 100 | 72 | 23 | 5 |
1345 | My owner doesn’t understand me. | 1.3300 | 0.05515 | 100 | 71 | 25 | 4 |
1346 | I don’t know what I’m chasing anymore. | 1.3300 | 0.06204 | 100 | 75 | 17 | 8 |
1347 | Are you sure I'm allowed to be on the couch? | 1.3299 | 0.05429 | 97 | 68 | 26 | 3 |
1348 | Now when I go on my neighbor’s lawn, they arrest me. | 1.3299 | 0.06508 | 97 | 74 | 14 | 9 |
1349 | I even brought them a dead mouse like you suggested, but I still don't know who's a good boy! | 1.3299 | 0.05993 | 97 | 71 | 20 | 6 |
1350 | Just once I wish someone would say to me, “Here Doggy Doggy”. | 1.3299 | 0.06169 | 97 | 72 | 18 | 7 |
1351 | You’re treating me like a mouse! | 1.3299 | 0.05993 | 97 | 71 | 20 | 6 |
1352 | You think I'm barking up the wrong tree? | 1.3299 | 0.05623 | 97 | 69 | 24 | 4 |
1353 | I'm too tied down to my work. Sometimes I feel like just knocking things off the desk, walking across the keyboard, and showing my butt to everyone watching. Do you know the feeling? | 1.3298 | 0.06123 | 94 | 69 | 19 | 6 |
1354 | I dreamed that I chased you and you climbed a tree. When I woke up, my depression and anxiety had gone away. Weird, huh. | 1.3298 | 0.05534 | 94 | 66 | 25 | 3 |
1355 | He promised we would toss the ball, but something always came up. | 1.3298 | 0.06307 | 94 | 70 | 17 | 7 |
1356 | Worshipped by ancient Egyptians? Seriously? Get real and run after a stick. | 1.3298 | 0.06123 | 94 | 69 | 19 | 6 |
1357 | Catnip for you, a bone for me. Is that all there is? | 1.3298 | 0.06307 | 94 | 70 | 17 | 7 |
1358 | I find using a litter box to be very cathartic. | 1.3297 | 0.06261 | 91 | 67 | 18 | 6 |
1359 | I don’t think this animal assisted therapy is quite working out. | 1.3297 | 0.06454 | 91 | 68 | 16 | 7 |
1360 | I find your turtleneck accusatory. | 1.3297 | 0.06454 | 91 | 68 | 16 | 7 |
1361 | In my dream, the ball I chase turns out to be made of yarn. | 1.3295 | 0.06409 | 88 | 65 | 17 | 6 |
1362 | You may have nine but I only have one - and I'm tired of spending it on a leash! | 1.3295 | 0.06201 | 88 | 64 | 19 | 5 |
1363 | Is there something wrong with me Doc? I'm attracted to Cats not dogs. | 1.3294 | 0.06565 | 85 | 63 | 16 | 6 |
1364 | It's dog-eat-dog out there. | 1.3293 | 0.06733 | 82 | 61 | 15 | 6 |
1365 | Turns out, on the Internet, everyone knew I was a dog | 1.3291 | 0.06912 | 79 | 59 | 14 | 6 |
1366 | So tell me, how long have you had these delusional thoughts that dogs were smarter than cats? | 1.3284 | 0.05165 | 134 | 99 | 26 | 9 |
1367 | How can you possibly understand how hard it is to control your emotions when everyone wants to pet you? | 1.3282 | 0.04778 | 131 | 93 | 33 | 5 |
1368 | You always make me chase after you,just like my mother used to. | 1.3277 | 0.05352 | 119 | 87 | 25 | 7 |
1369 | I know I’m supposed to be his support animal but at some point you have to take responsibility for your own emotions. I’m starting to become resentful. | 1.3277 | 0.05612 | 119 | 89 | 21 | 9 |
1370 | So the catnip isn’t working? | 1.3274 | 0.05250 | 113 | 81 | 27 | 5 |
1371 | Tell me more about this Rat Race. | 1.3274 | 0.05684 | 113 | 84 | 21 | 8 |
1372 | You’ll never understand ….He went for a walk and didn’t come back for 15 minutes !! | 1.3274 | 0.05821 | 113 | 85 | 19 | 9 |
1373 | Woof, woof. Am I right? | 1.3274 | 0.05097 | 113 | 80 | 29 | 4 |
1374 | I just don’t feel you understand my issues | 1.3273 | 0.05792 | 110 | 82 | 20 | 8 |
1375 | Accounting is a dog-eat-dog world. | 1.3273 | 0.05342 | 110 | 79 | 26 | 5 |
1376 | repeat after me: one must first be willing to let go of loyalty to gain total domination | 1.3273 | 0.05934 | 110 | 83 | 18 | 9 |
1377 | My father collected sticks but I never saw myself that way | 1.3273 | 0.05342 | 110 | 79 | 26 | 5 |
1378 | You're not going to like this dream, either. | 1.3271 | 0.05274 | 107 | 76 | 27 | 4 |
1379 | Sure, I have a desire to please, but no one ever called me stupid for it before. | 1.3269 | 0.05541 | 104 | 75 | 24 | 5 |
1380 | I’m sure you can guess the one word that describes my mother. | 1.3267 | 0.05648 | 101 | 73 | 23 | 5 |
1381 | I didn’t think my wife being a feline would cause so many problems. | 1.3267 | 0.06465 | 101 | 78 | 13 | 10 |
1382 | It’s so unfair. The cat’s pajamas. The cat’s meow. Why the dog days of summer? | 1.3267 | 0.05988 | 101 | 75 | 19 | 7 |
1383 | I can't help it. When he leaves for work, I miss him. | 1.3267 | 0.05648 | 101 | 73 | 23 | 5 |
1384 | The poodle got the promotion and I'm just supposed to roll over!" Heidi Roe, Myrtle Point, Oregon | 1.3265 | 0.05941 | 98 | 72 | 20 | 6 |
1385 | ...and every time I look outside, that dog that looks just like me is staring right back. I can't take it anymore! | 1.3265 | 0.05384 | 98 | 69 | 26 | 3 |
1386 | I dreamed I wanted to play fetch with my mother and maul my father. | 1.3265 | 0.05941 | 98 | 72 | 20 | 6 |
1387 | You're not listening. | 1.3265 | 0.06115 | 98 | 73 | 18 | 7 |
1388 | I barked and barked, but I couldn’t do anything because I had to stay inside and be a good boy. | 1.3265 | 0.05941 | 98 | 72 | 20 | 6 |
1389 | I have a real problem with tail- chasing - my own! | 1.3265 | 0.05761 | 98 | 71 | 22 | 5 |
1390 | I’m concerned my bark is worse than my bite. | 1.3263 | 0.05881 | 95 | 69 | 21 | 5 |
1391 | I know I'm a good boy. So why is that never good enough? | 1.3261 | 0.06008 | 92 | 67 | 20 | 5 |
1392 | Is it just me or is the vacuum cleaner really out to get me? | 1.3261 | 0.06393 | 92 | 69 | 16 | 7 |
1393 | Have you tried ignoring everyone and making your problems their's? | 1.3261 | 0.06756 | 92 | 71 | 12 | 9 |
1394 | And sometimes…I think the ‘good boy’ might be someone else entirely. | 1.3261 | 0.05596 | 92 | 65 | 24 | 3 |
1395 | I'm afraid I'm attracted to members of the opposite species. | 1.3259 | 0.04913 | 135 | 98 | 30 | 7 |
1396 | I can't fake the tail wag anymore. | 1.3258 | 0.06347 | 89 | 66 | 17 | 6 |
1397 | I think it's time we address your animal nature. | 1.3258 | 0.06347 | 89 | 66 | 17 | 6 |
1398 | Sometimes when I’m home alone, I walk around the house on all fours. | 1.3258 | 0.06143 | 89 | 65 | 19 | 5 |
1399 | It's called unconditional love, and I just can't help myself. | 1.3258 | 0.05712 | 89 | 63 | 23 | 3 |
1400 | Mrs. Bowser says I'm needy. | 1.3258 | 0.05931 | 89 | 64 | 21 | 4 |
1401 | How do you know what to do with 9 lives? I don't even know what to do with this one! | 1.3258 | 0.05213 | 132 | 98 | 25 | 9 |
1402 | My parents wanted me to go to obedience school, so I went. But what I really wanted to do was dance.” | 1.3256 | 0.06286 | 86 | 63 | 18 | 5 |
1403 | They did my DNA and I was devastated to learn that I am only 5% doodle. | 1.3256 | 0.06500 | 86 | 64 | 16 | 6 |
1404 | Given our diverse species, how can we ever establish rapport? | 1.3256 | 0.06286 | 86 | 63 | 18 | 5 |
1405 | It's all just so scary. I mean, we only get one shot at this thing called life, right? | 1.3254 | 0.05615 | 126 | 96 | 19 | 11 |
1406 | …and in my nightmare it’s a ball of yarn I fetch. | 1.3254 | 0.05143 | 126 | 92 | 27 | 7 |
1407 | My wife says I should wag my tail less if I want to be taken seriously. What do you think? | 1.3253 | 0.05965 | 83 | 59 | 21 | 3 |
1408 | It is silly and it hurts when I wag with my pants on | 1.3253 | 0.06206 | 83 | 60 | 19 | 4 |
1409 | I feel like I have only one life to live. | 1.3252 | 0.04965 | 123 | 88 | 30 | 5 |
1410 | Perhaps "chasing your tail" is symbolic for your feelings of complacency. | 1.3250 | 0.06358 | 80 | 58 | 18 | 4 |
1411 | It's just tricks, treats and manipulation...I just don't feel like being Man's best friend anymore. Isn't there another animal that can fill that role? | 1.3250 | 0.07065 | 80 | 61 | 12 | 7 |
1412 | I’m not a bad dog, I’m just misunderstood. | 1.3250 | 0.05314 | 120 | 88 | 25 | 7 |
1413 | Why is every mess always my fault? | 1.3250 | 0.05181 | 120 | 87 | 27 | 6 |
1414 | how can you compare nine lives to one? | 1.3250 | 0.05044 | 120 | 86 | 29 | 5 |
1415 | You ever feel like you’re just chasing your tail? | 1.3248 | 0.04830 | 117 | 82 | 32 | 3 |
1416 | Tell me about your breeder. | 1.3247 | 0.06778 | 77 | 57 | 15 | 5 |
1417 | Sure, I've got the great job, nice house, perfect family - but what's it all mean if I never catch that squirrel? | 1.3247 | 0.06778 | 77 | 57 | 15 | 5 |
1418 | I was just marking my territory around the office… | 1.3247 | 0.07025 | 77 | 58 | 13 | 6 |
1419 | I am dog tired all the time | 1.3247 | 0.06253 | 77 | 55 | 19 | 3 |
1420 | Doc, will I ever be satisfied when I finally catch a car? | 1.3243 | 0.05302 | 111 | 80 | 26 | 5 |
1421 | Have you considered chasing yarn? | 1.3243 | 0.07479 | 74 | 57 | 10 | 7 |
1422 | I mean,you probably never get like that,you have nine lives. | 1.3243 | 0.05807 | 74 | 51 | 22 | 1 |
1423 | And then..after a long day at the office,I come back to a mess and he wants to play fetch. | 1.3243 | 0.06413 | 74 | 53 | 18 | 3 |
1424 | They said I was the cat's meow. | 1.3241 | 0.05074 | 145 | 109 | 25 | 11 |
1425 | Let's assume you are me,..... | 1.3241 | 0.05858 | 108 | 81 | 19 | 8 |
1426 | They keep asking me to speak, but I feel like they never listen. | 1.3238 | 0.06419 | 105 | 82 | 12 | 11 |
1427 | What do you mean I see everything in black and white? | 1.3238 | 0.05496 | 105 | 76 | 24 | 5 |
1428 | Actually, I’m only here because you let me on the couch. | 1.3233 | 0.05179 | 133 | 99 | 25 | 9 |
1429 | ... but I identify as feline. | 1.3232 | 0.05712 | 99 | 72 | 22 | 5 |
1430 | Of course I’m not sleeping. You try being best friend to a whole species. | 1.3232 | 0.06062 | 99 | 74 | 18 | 7 |
1431 | I’m so depressed I don’t even chase cats anymore | 1.3232 | 0.06062 | 99 | 74 | 18 | 7 |
1432 | And every time I pull the squeaker out of the toy. | 1.3232 | 0.05142 | 99 | 69 | 28 | 2 |
1433 | Yes, I was forcibly castrated. But I’m over it. | 1.3232 | 0.05712 | 99 | 72 | 22 | 5 |
1434 | I just can't lift my leg like I used to. | 1.3231 | 0.05030 | 130 | 95 | 28 | 7 |
1435 | Can we take a quick break for me to chase my tail? | 1.3229 | 0.05638 | 96 | 69 | 23 | 4 |
1436 | No, Doc, I don’t think the catnip is helping. | 1.3226 | 0.05547 | 93 | 66 | 24 | 3 |
1437 | I feel like I'm just out there chasing my tail | 1.3226 | 0.05332 | 93 | 65 | 26 | 2 |
1438 | How about a little chase after the session? | 1.3226 | 0.06516 | 93 | 71 | 14 | 8 |
1439 | What are you afraid of? I don't bark. | 1.3226 | 0.06146 | 93 | 69 | 18 | 6 |
1440 | It's like you think you're the roadrunner, but everyone knows you're really the coyote." | 1.3226 | 0.06516 | 93 | 71 | 14 | 8 |
1441 | And what would happen if you let someone else be the good boy for a little while? | 1.3226 | 0.05191 | 124 | 91 | 26 | 7 |
1442 | They said it and said it, but I knew it wasn't true. | 1.3223 | 0.04578 | 121 | 84 | 35 | 2 |
1443 | I see. Why do you think you are obsessed with felines? | 1.3223 | 0.05009 | 121 | 87 | 29 | 5 |
1444 | I come from a long line of cataphobes. | 1.3222 | 0.05876 | 90 | 65 | 21 | 4 |
1445 | "They called me a 'bad boy', and then this cat just smirked at me." | 1.3220 | 0.05500 | 118 | 88 | 22 | 8 |
1446 | You make "setting a boundary" sound so easy. | 1.3220 | 0.05757 | 118 | 90 | 18 | 10 |
1447 | You know, you’re right…it is a dog-eat-dog world. | 1.3220 | 0.05367 | 118 | 87 | 24 | 7 |
1448 | I had a nightmare: my therapist had transformed in a cat | 1.3218 | 0.06224 | 87 | 64 | 18 | 5 |
1449 | I’m improving—I no longer want to bite your head off. | 1.3218 | 0.06224 | 87 | 64 | 18 | 5 |
1450 | I’m having difficulty with transference. | 1.3217 | 0.05319 | 115 | 84 | 25 | 6 |
1451 | man... you never know when they are going to hide the pill in the fcking meat, im just tired | 1.3217 | 0.05461 | 115 | 85 | 23 | 7 |
1452 | I think you need to stay outside more. | 1.3214 | 0.06595 | 84 | 63 | 15 | 6 |
1453 | I feel like I don’t receive enough belly rubs. | 1.3214 | 0.06595 | 84 | 63 | 15 | 6 |
1454 | I can't get Bob Barker's sign-off out of my head. | 1.3214 | 0.05703 | 112 | 84 | 20 | 8 |
1455 | I keep having this nightmare that I’m chasing you. | 1.3214 | 0.05906 | 84 | 60 | 21 | 3 |
1456 | So you have a bone to pick with me? | 1.3214 | 0.06111 | 112 | 87 | 14 | 11 |
1457 | I walk myself. I walk myself. I walk myself. | 1.3214 | 0.06374 | 84 | 62 | 17 | 5 |
1458 | It’s called separation anxiety , and…HEY, are you even LISTENING? | 1.3214 | 0.06374 | 84 | 62 | 17 | 5 |
1459 | So she went on a walk without you… | 1.3214 | 0.06595 | 84 | 63 | 15 | 6 |
1460 | They made me wear clothes! | 1.3214 | 0.06595 | 84 | 63 | 15 | 6 |
1461 | I have nightmares about chasing mice. | 1.3211 | 0.05512 | 109 | 80 | 23 | 6 |
1462 | 'I try to be detached, but "Who's a good boy!" always gets me!' | 1.3211 | 0.05512 | 109 | 80 | 23 | 6 |
1463 | Never, ever, has she fetched the stick. And I’ve never caught a mouse. | 1.3211 | 0.05812 | 109 | 82 | 19 | 8 |
1464 | You can’t relate to this, but They are obsessed about pooping. | 1.3211 | 0.05956 | 109 | 83 | 17 | 9 |
1465 | My conclusion being that you are of sound mind and I will talk to the pharmacist and get you the drugs to start the transition process. It’s important to embrace your new urges, playing with yarn, warm milk, even hissing… | 1.3210 | 0.06533 | 81 | 60 | 16 | 5 |
1466 | Saying I’m the “cat’s meow” is not helping me with my gender identity. | 1.3209 | 0.05360 | 134 | 102 | 21 | 11 |
1467 | Always good boy. Never outstanding boy, excellent boy! | 1.3208 | 0.06076 | 106 | 81 | 16 | 9 |
1468 | What mice? Who's dream is this anyway..? | 1.3208 | 0.06222 | 106 | 82 | 14 | 10 |
1469 | I thought I had this thing . . . well, licked. | 1.3208 | 0.05453 | 106 | 77 | 24 | 5 |
1470 | He just keeps coming to the door over and over again, bringing the mail, everyday, how can they stand it? | 1.3205 | 0.06450 | 78 | 57 | 17 | 4 |
1471 | My wife, she doesn't play fetch anymore." | 1.3205 | 0.05623 | 78 | 54 | 23 | 1 |
1472 | My wife thinks I’m a pussy. | 1.3205 | 0.06450 | 78 | 57 | 17 | 4 |
1473 | They’re gone all day again and I don’t know what I did to drive them away. | 1.3205 | 0.05911 | 78 | 55 | 21 | 2 |
1474 | I feel so embarrassed, my wife caught me chasing my tail | 1.3205 | 0.05911 | 78 | 55 | 21 | 2 |
1475 | They kidnapped my puppies. | 1.3204 | 0.05888 | 103 | 77 | 19 | 7 |
1476 | Other dogs tease me because I like cats. | 1.3204 | 0.05724 | 103 | 76 | 21 | 6 |
1477 | They started dressing me like this when I was a pup. | 1.3204 | 0.05556 | 103 | 75 | 23 | 5 |
1478 | I just don't know who I am, Doc. I think it all began when she named me Mittens. | 1.3204 | 0.06048 | 103 | 78 | 17 | 8 |
1479 | Admit it. You don't like me. And don't give me any of that b.s. about transference. | 1.3203 | 0.05075 | 128 | 94 | 27 | 7 |
1480 | Deep down I know I truly am a good boy. | 1.3200 | 0.05664 | 100 | 73 | 22 | 5 |
1481 | Just once I'd like to hear it's raining dogs and cats. | 1.3200 | 0.05840 | 100 | 74 | 20 | 6 |
1482 | No offense, Doc, but your putting out that superiority vibe again. | 1.3200 | 0.06010 | 100 | 75 | 18 | 7 |
1483 | It just wags. No matter how hard I try,it won't stop. | 1.3200 | 0.05664 | 100 | 73 | 22 | 5 |
1484 | I know I shouldn’t fall for it, but when he rubs my chin, I get all gooey inside and I lose my defined boundaries. | 1.3200 | 0.05483 | 100 | 72 | 24 | 4 |
1485 | So then they broke the treat into two pieces, and told me I’d had two. | 1.3196 | 0.06139 | 97 | 73 | 17 | 7 |
1486 | Your problem is that your mother was a bitch. | 1.3196 | 0.05778 | 97 | 71 | 21 | 5 |
1487 | It's a dog's life -- but you don't have to be so smug about it. | 1.3196 | 0.05961 | 97 | 72 | 19 | 6 |
1488 | Easy for you to say . . . I don’t have nine lives! | 1.3196 | 0.05961 | 97 | 72 | 19 | 6 |
1489 | I always knew she was a bitch | 1.3194 | 0.06802 | 72 | 53 | 15 | 4 |
1490 | I tell you, it’s a dog’s life. | 1.3194 | 0.07355 | 72 | 55 | 11 | 6 |
1491 | My wife is a cat person,and I’m not. | 1.3191 | 0.05702 | 94 | 68 | 22 | 4 |
1492 | I've never circled three times before I sit....it's embarrassing, and at my age..... | 1.3191 | 0.06090 | 94 | 70 | 18 | 6 |
1493 | For some reason, I get the urge to chase you around the room. | 1.3191 | 0.05702 | 94 | 68 | 22 | 4 |
1494 | He let's the new dog sleep on the bed with us (sob)! | 1.3190 | 0.05137 | 116 | 84 | 27 | 5 |
1495 | So I am inferior to cats? | 1.3190 | 0.05557 | 116 | 87 | 21 | 8 |
1496 | I was hoping for “Substantially Exceeds Good Boy.” | 1.3190 | 0.05821 | 116 | 89 | 17 | 10 |
1497 | I appreciate your help doc but you should know, this doesn't end well for you. | 1.3187 | 0.06227 | 91 | 68 | 17 | 6 |
1498 | I'm not sure what my pronouns should be. | 1.3186 | 0.05659 | 113 | 85 | 20 | 8 |
1499 | My boss keeps calling me "Kitty. Should I go to HR?" | 1.3186 | 0.05659 | 113 | 85 | 20 | 8 |
1500 | I don’t even want to chase you right now. | 1.3186 | 0.05659 | 113 | 85 | 20 | 8 |
1501 | I’ve tried everything else | 1.3186 | 0.05373 | 113 | 83 | 24 | 6 |
1502 | But what is it that I'm really chasing? | 1.3185 | 0.05221 | 135 | 102 | 23 | 10 |
1503 | I always knew you would end up in control….and here we are…sigh ? | 1.3182 | 0.05492 | 88 | 62 | 24 | 2 |
1504 | My wife says I should explore my feline side. | 1.3182 | 0.05249 | 88 | 61 | 26 | 1 |
1505 | It started when I first saw my mother drinking out of the toilet. | 1.3182 | 0.06164 | 88 | 65 | 18 | 5 |
1506 | I just can’t seem to get over what a Bitch she is. | 1.3182 | 0.05725 | 88 | 63 | 22 | 3 |
1507 | Do you know if my insurance covers the out-of-dog network? | 1.3182 | 0.06373 | 88 | 66 | 16 | 6 |
1508 | Got it! Your mom was a real bitch... | 1.3182 | 0.05766 | 110 | 83 | 19 | 8 |
1509 | My wife won't let me on the couch. | 1.3182 | 0.07832 | 66 | 51 | 9 | 6 |
1510 | My wife said she was going to keep me on a short leash. | 1.3178 | 0.06027 | 107 | 82 | 16 | 9 |
1511 | I have this recurring nightmare of being aloof and emotionally disengaged. | 1.3178 | 0.05245 | 107 | 77 | 26 | 4 |
1512 | I’m feeling catatonic these days | 1.3178 | 0.05879 | 107 | 81 | 18 | 8 |
1513 | I've reached the end of my leash. | 1.3178 | 0.05410 | 107 | 78 | 24 | 5 |
1514 | I know that I shouldn’t rely on external validation, but damn, those treats are good! | 1.3178 | 0.05245 | 107 | 77 | 26 | 4 |
1515 | Sitting in that same office everyday has left me feeling so old and stiff. I can't even lick "there" anymore. | 1.3176 | 0.06309 | 85 | 63 | 17 | 5 |
1516 | And I guess that’s when I realized deep down, I’m really more of a cat lover. | 1.3176 | 0.06309 | 85 | 63 | 17 | 5 |
1517 | I miss being able to lick myself | 1.3176 | 0.06309 | 85 | 63 | 17 | 5 |
1518 | I worry that I am disappointing my owners…don’t you ever feel like that? | 1.3175 | 0.05121 | 126 | 93 | 26 | 7 |
1519 | I don’t know if I can tell you what I’m really thinking, doc. | 1.3173 | 0.04976 | 104 | 73 | 29 | 2 |
1520 | It’s different on Zoom. Everyone knows I’m a dog. | 1.3173 | 0.05511 | 104 | 76 | 23 | 5 |
1521 | Do you realize how hard it is to be a Republican in this town? | 1.3173 | 0.05840 | 104 | 78 | 19 | 7 |
1522 | Should I act less attached? | 1.3173 | 0.05511 | 104 | 76 | 23 | 5 |
1523 | …and then I woke up and they were gone. | 1.3171 | 0.06464 | 82 | 61 | 16 | 5 |
1524 | Have you ever considered withholding your affection? | 1.3171 | 0.05204 | 123 | 91 | 25 | 7 |
1525 | My friends say I'm too submissive. What do you think? | 1.3168 | 0.05959 | 101 | 76 | 18 | 7 |
1526 | Sometimes I dream I'm free of all responsibility, that humans cater to me, that they obey me. Sometimes I even "meow." | 1.3168 | 0.05959 | 101 | 76 | 18 | 7 |
1527 | It's the same thing every single day - get up, go outside, come back in, sniff everybody, go outside again, dinner and then bedtime - and every meal is dog food!! | 1.3167 | 0.05156 | 120 | 88 | 26 | 6 |
1528 | Perhaps it’s time to reconnect with your inner puppy. | 1.3167 | 0.05421 | 120 | 90 | 22 | 8 |
1529 | I caught the car in my dream. I don’t know what that means. | 1.3165 | 0.06630 | 79 | 59 | 15 | 5 |
1530 | When will you tell them? | 1.3165 | 0.07328 | 79 | 62 | 9 | 8 |
1531 | I'm haunted by all the times I've dropped the ball. | 1.3165 | 0.06630 | 79 | 59 | 15 | 5 |
1532 | Tell me Doc, will I ever get out of the dog house? | 1.3165 | 0.06381 | 79 | 58 | 17 | 4 |
1533 | Treats just aren't doing the trick anymore | 1.3165 | 0.06630 | 79 | 59 | 15 | 5 |
1534 | 'Do whatever makes you happy'? That's easy for you to say." | 1.3163 | 0.05542 | 98 | 71 | 23 | 4 |
1535 | I'll never be cunning... | 1.3163 | 0.06085 | 98 | 74 | 17 | 7 |
1536 | Have you ever tried NOT running for the ball? | 1.3162 | 0.05100 | 117 | 85 | 27 | 5 |
1537 | So, for how long have you been suffering from anthropomorphism? | 1.3158 | 0.05476 | 114 | 85 | 22 | 7 |
1538 | I keep getting the urge to chase you around the office. | 1.3158 | 0.05847 | 95 | 70 | 20 | 5 |
1539 | Tell me less. | 1.3158 | 0.07061 | 76 | 58 | 12 | 6 |
1540 | Do you really think using masks like THIS will get to the bottom of my problems | 1.3158 | 0.06035 | 95 | 71 | 18 | 6 |
1541 | After transference occurs will I be able to meow? | 1.3158 | 0.06218 | 95 | 72 | 16 | 7 |
1542 | Doc, I"m telling you: I'm a feline trapped in a canine body. | 1.3154 | 0.05126 | 130 | 97 | 25 | 8 |
1543 | And this bully, is it in the room with us right now? | 1.3154 | 0.04765 | 130 | 94 | 31 | 5 |
1544 | At work I'm the CEO. At home I'm just Fido. | 1.3152 | 0.05338 | 92 | 65 | 25 | 2 |
1545 | I feel like a rat | 1.3152 | 0.06169 | 92 | 69 | 17 | 6 |
1546 | My boss - it's like he doesn't respect me. Every time I fetch the stick, he just throws it away again! | 1.3152 | 0.05769 | 92 | 67 | 21 | 4 |
1547 | See? With this getup, they won't even let me chase my tail." | 1.3152 | 0.05769 | 92 | 67 | 21 | 4 |
1548 | She threw the ball, and then all of a sudden it was behind her back." | 1.3148 | 0.05831 | 108 | 82 | 18 | 8 |
1549 | So, what did the dog drag in today? | 1.3146 | 0.05892 | 89 | 65 | 20 | 4 |
1550 | True, my fetching the stick gives them something to do. | 1.3146 | 0.06105 | 89 | 66 | 18 | 5 |
1551 | Usually I have to sneak up on this couch when no one's home. | 1.3146 | 0.05671 | 89 | 64 | 22 | 3 |
1552 | I’m a cat trapped in a dog’s body and no one seems to get it. | 1.3146 | 0.05671 | 89 | 64 | 22 | 3 |
1553 | Can you help me to be aloof and not a pleaser? | 1.3143 | 0.06914 | 70 | 52 | 14 | 4 |
1554 | Feeling a lack of autonomy? | 1.3143 | 0.06607 | 70 | 51 | 16 | 3 |
1555 | Really? You mean there's such a thing as being too extroverted? | 1.3143 | 0.05466 | 105 | 77 | 23 | 5 |
1556 | Are you...laughing? | 1.3143 | 0.05792 | 105 | 79 | 19 | 7 |
1557 | But I don't feel like a good boy. | 1.3143 | 0.05631 | 105 | 78 | 21 | 6 |
1558 | Six years old,and what have I done with my life? | 1.3143 | 0.05631 | 105 | 78 | 21 | 6 |
1559 | I can't help but feel that we are incompatible | 1.3143 | 0.05631 | 105 | 78 | 21 | 6 |
1560 | He comes home from her place too tired to play or take a walk, cat scent all over him. And he's happy! | 1.3140 | 0.06462 | 86 | 65 | 15 | 6 |
1561 | I killed them all. | 1.3140 | 0.06247 | 86 | 64 | 17 | 5 |
1562 | I feel I've been gender neutered. | 1.3140 | 0.06247 | 86 | 64 | 17 | 5 |
1563 | I'm married to a cat, and now I'm worried SCOTUS is going to overturn interspecies marriage. | 1.3140 | 0.06872 | 86 | 67 | 11 | 8 |
1564 | I thought the receptionist said this was the office of Tom and Bob Katz | 1.3140 | 0.06247 | 86 | 64 | 17 | 5 |
1565 | I thought we were all perfectly happy with just the way things were.Then they had to go and get a cat. | 1.3140 | 0.06670 | 86 | 66 | 13 | 7 |
1566 | At least YOU have 8 other lives to live. For me THIS is it! | 1.3140 | 0.06247 | 86 | 64 | 17 | 5 |
1567 | , .....and I have this natural aggression toward your species, no offense. | 1.3140 | 0.05792 | 86 | 62 | 21 | 3 |
1568 | Your lot are different; for me, I need to know that my humans accept me. | 1.3137 | 0.05570 | 102 | 75 | 22 | 5 |
1569 | Detatch with love" just isn't working for me | 1.3137 | 0.06228 | 102 | 79 | 14 | 9 |
1570 | For a therapy pet, you’re surprisingly accomplished. | 1.3137 | 0.05570 | 102 | 75 | 22 | 5 |
1571 | So should I join the pack and move to Austin? | 1.3137 | 0.05210 | 102 | 73 | 26 | 3 |
1572 | I never have that dream where I'm naked. | 1.3133 | 0.06164 | 83 | 61 | 18 | 4 |
1573 | So how come you get 9 lives and I only get one? | 1.3133 | 0.06623 | 83 | 63 | 14 | 6 |
1574 | What do you mean an inferiority complex is normal for someone like me? | 1.3131 | 0.06200 | 99 | 76 | 15 | 8 |
1575 | Are you listening to me? | 1.3131 | 0.05858 | 99 | 74 | 19 | 6 |
1576 | You’re the first cat I can really trust . | 1.3131 | 0.05495 | 99 | 72 | 23 | 4 |
1577 | No, actually, I never thought about transitioning to the feline species ... | 1.3131 | 0.05495 | 99 | 72 | 23 | 4 |
1578 | "Strange dreams lately: I climb trees and take delight in being aloof." | 1.3131 | 0.05495 | 99 | 72 | 23 | 4 |
1579 | I feel this way every time they leave the house! | 1.3131 | 0.05858 | 99 | 74 | 19 | 6 |
1580 | I don’t know. White collar, blue collar, flea collar, choker. It all seems so claustrophobic. | 1.3131 | 0.06031 | 99 | 75 | 17 | 7 |
1581 | But what does purr even mean? | 1.3131 | 0.05679 | 99 | 73 | 21 | 5 |
1582 | I feel like I'm a cat trapped in a dog's body. | 1.3130 | 0.05147 | 115 | 84 | 26 | 5 |
1583 | My wife had actually said I need to get in touch with my feelings, not a Feline. | 1.3130 | 0.05435 | 115 | 86 | 22 | 7 |
1584 | To be fully transparent Doc, I am struggling with the trust issue. | 1.3130 | 0.05435 | 115 | 86 | 22 | 7 |
1585 | How am I supposed to have any self-esteem when I have to wear a leash and you don't? | 1.3130 | 0.05970 | 115 | 90 | 14 | 11 |
1586 | I feel resistant to chains. | 1.3125 | 0.05602 | 96 | 70 | 22 | 4 |
1587 | You could pretend you're interested. | 1.3125 | 0.05533 | 112 | 84 | 21 | 7 |
1588 | Just a few years ago, I would have been chasing you down the street. | 1.3125 | 0.05078 | 112 | 81 | 27 | 4 |
1589 | How could you possibly understand - you’re a cat person and I’m a dog person | 1.3125 | 0.06313 | 80 | 59 | 17 | 4 |
1590 | I'm fine. Really. I just wondered what it's like on a couch. | 1.3125 | 0.06313 | 80 | 59 | 17 | 4 |
1591 | I can't even say what my mother is. | 1.3125 | 0.05602 | 96 | 70 | 22 | 4 |
1592 | I lost my tennis ball. | 1.3125 | 0.05196 | 96 | 68 | 26 | 2 |
1593 | No, I don’t secretly dream of being a cat. I dream of about being a Great Dane and stomping on the cat that lives in my neighborhood and is murdering all the birds and bunnies. | 1.3125 | 0.05602 | 96 | 70 | 22 | 4 |
1594 | The treats are great. But how do I negotiate for an indoor bathroom? | 1.3125 | 0.06162 | 96 | 73 | 16 | 7 |
1595 | Dr. Katz, tell me again, why we have to wear these masks? | 1.3125 | 0.07247 | 80 | 63 | 9 | 8 |
1596 | You know doc, this is one comfortable couch. | 1.3125 | 0.05981 | 96 | 72 | 18 | 6 |
1597 | And is this… mailman in the room with us | 1.3125 | 0.05981 | 96 | 72 | 18 | 6 |
1598 | Every day feels 168 hours long... | 1.3125 | 0.05602 | 96 | 70 | 22 | 4 |
1599 | Well, my mom was a bitch. | 1.3119 | 0.05636 | 109 | 82 | 20 | 7 |
1600 | I'm going to order an immediate CAT Scan. | 1.3118 | 0.05917 | 93 | 69 | 19 | 5 |
1601 | I don't feel you really understand me. | 1.3118 | 0.06111 | 93 | 70 | 17 | 6 |
1602 | Is it my fault that I cannot tell a buried bone from a buried mine? | 1.3118 | 0.06111 | 93 | 70 | 17 | 6 |
1603 | Then she said “You're a bad dog” and left me. | 1.3113 | 0.05254 | 106 | 77 | 25 | 4 |
1604 | I’m feeling tense. Can I chase you around the room again? | 1.3113 | 0.05899 | 106 | 81 | 17 | 8 |
1605 | After I was spayed, my desire to chase cats just went away | 1.3113 | 0.05080 | 106 | 76 | 27 | 3 |
1606 | I drink from the toilet and like to chase cars. | 1.3113 | 0.05254 | 106 | 77 | 25 | 4 |
1607 | I dunno what it is doc. I can't get enough cat litter. | 1.3113 | 0.05744 | 106 | 80 | 19 | 7 |
1608 | I mean, does it really matter if I wear my tail down my left trouser leg or my right? | 1.3111 | 0.06047 | 90 | 67 | 18 | 5 |
1609 | Dr. Katz.. I have issues with pussey | 1.3111 | 0.05837 | 90 | 66 | 20 | 4 |
1610 | Tell me again why you put your head out of the car window even when driving. | 1.3111 | 0.06047 | 90 | 67 | 18 | 5 |
1611 | At what point should I be walking away with my tail between my legs? | 1.3111 | 0.05392 | 90 | 64 | 24 | 2 |
1612 | I just don't get a thrill from the chase anymore. | 1.3108 | 0.06645 | 74 | 55 | 15 | 4 |
1613 | Sure, I’ve caught the car. But then what? | 1.3108 | 0.06645 | 74 | 55 | 15 | 4 |
1614 | Just once, I'd like my boss to ask me who's a good boy. | 1.3108 | 0.06645 | 74 | 55 | 15 | 4 |
1615 | I just can't stop smelling people's butts. | 1.3108 | 0.06918 | 74 | 56 | 13 | 5 |
1616 | People called her a bitch, but she was always 'mommy' to me. | 1.3108 | 0.06918 | 74 | 56 | 13 | 5 |
1617 | But is it really the tail you’re chasing? | 1.3108 | 0.05749 | 74 | 52 | 21 | 1 |
1618 | In my dream I was in a large group of domestic animals and I was the only one who was naked. | 1.3107 | 0.05858 | 103 | 78 | 18 | 7 |
1619 | Tell me more about the time you felt you were being cat-called in the dog park? | 1.3107 | 0.06175 | 103 | 80 | 14 | 9 |
1620 | Is sniffing butts really that bad? | 1.3107 | 0.05349 | 103 | 75 | 24 | 4 |
1621 | I'm worried I'm not making the most of my one life. | 1.3107 | 0.05524 | 103 | 76 | 22 | 5 |
1622 | I'm not usually allowed on the furniture. | 1.3103 | 0.05965 | 87 | 64 | 19 | 4 |
1623 | After I found out it was a dog-eat-dog world, well, I didn’t know where else to turn. | 1.3103 | 0.05925 | 116 | 91 | 14 | 11 |
1624 | Trust me, I studied dog therapies when I was in Vienna. | 1.3103 | 0.05395 | 116 | 87 | 22 | 7 |
1625 | I’m all bark and no bite | 1.3103 | 0.06185 | 87 | 65 | 17 | 5 |
1626 | What do you mean you charge in dog years? | 1.3103 | 0.04961 | 116 | 84 | 28 | 4 |
1627 | What 'elephant in the room' are you talking about?" | 1.3103 | 0.05395 | 116 | 87 | 22 | 7 |
1628 | It's just...when she comes home, I can't help but get excited. | 1.3103 | 0.05736 | 87 | 63 | 21 | 3 |
1629 | I have trust issues,Dr. Katz. | 1.3100 | 0.06146 | 100 | 77 | 15 | 8 |
1630 | For once, I'd like to just squat. | 1.3100 | 0.05631 | 100 | 74 | 21 | 5 |
1631 | I just don't get it? All they do is sleep and eat! | 1.3100 | 0.05064 | 100 | 71 | 27 | 2 |
1632 | No, I guess you wouldn't understand. | 1.3100 | 0.05449 | 100 | 73 | 23 | 4 |
1633 | Doc, you've been charging me seven times too much. | 1.3100 | 0.05808 | 100 | 75 | 19 | 6 |
1634 | I coulda been a champion. | 1.3100 | 0.05808 | 100 | 75 | 19 | 6 |
1635 | Do you even know I'm in the room? | 1.3100 | 0.05631 | 100 | 74 | 21 | 5 |
1636 | Some days I feel like man's second best friend. | 1.3099 | 0.06213 | 71 | 51 | 18 | 2 |
1637 | Can’t we be associated with sunshine instead? | 1.3097 | 0.05041 | 113 | 82 | 27 | 4 |
1638 | I'm tired of chasing my own tail. | 1.3095 | 0.06332 | 84 | 63 | 16 | 5 |
1639 | I keep having this dream where... Wait - this is the dream! | 1.3095 | 0.06554 | 84 | 64 | 14 | 6 |
1640 | How bad it is when the publisher has to explain my cartoon in a pop-up? | 1.3095 | 0.06332 | 84 | 63 | 16 | 5 |
1641 | They all just watch—at least you get a litter box. | 1.3095 | 0.06332 | 84 | 63 | 16 | 5 |
1642 | I just... haven't felt like a good boy lately. | 1.3095 | 0.06554 | 84 | 64 | 14 | 6 |
1643 | All my problems would go away if I just stretched out in a sunny spot? | 1.3095 | 0.06101 | 84 | 62 | 18 | 4 |
1644 | ...And you were the only therapist in-network." | 1.3095 | 0.06554 | 84 | 64 | 14 | 6 |
1645 | I'm just hate wearing a tie. It makes me feel kept, you know? | 1.3095 | 0.06770 | 84 | 65 | 12 | 7 |
1646 | When did you decide that you wanted to be a cat? | 1.3093 | 0.05928 | 97 | 73 | 18 | 6 |
1647 | I'm tired and disgusted of sniffing other dogs' butts. Does that make me a cat lover? | 1.3093 | 0.05554 | 97 | 71 | 22 | 4 |
1648 | Doctor, I find you rather aloof. | 1.3093 | 0.05744 | 97 | 72 | 20 | 5 |
1649 | Have you considered just sitting there indifferently when your owner comes home? | 1.3093 | 0.05928 | 97 | 73 | 18 | 6 |
1650 | …but I identify as a cat person. | 1.3091 | 0.05739 | 110 | 84 | 18 | 8 |
1651 | Why can't a bone be just a bone? | 1.3091 | 0.05441 | 110 | 82 | 22 | 6 |
1652 | I have a problem with cats | 1.3088 | 0.07030 | 68 | 51 | 13 | 4 |
1653 | I keep dreaming that God is a cat. | 1.3086 | 0.06489 | 81 | 61 | 15 | 5 |
1654 | It's a lot of work to be a BFF" | 1.3086 | 0.06246 | 81 | 60 | 17 | 4 |
1655 | I don’t know Doc, it’s like I keep chasing my tail… | 1.3086 | 0.05994 | 81 | 59 | 19 | 3 |
1656 | And in this dream, you always land on your feet? | 1.3086 | 0.05731 | 81 | 58 | 21 | 2 |
1657 | Should I resist these aggressive impulses? | 1.3085 | 0.05863 | 94 | 70 | 19 | 5 |
1658 | I feel like I'm trapped in the wrong body. | 1.3085 | 0.05459 | 94 | 68 | 23 | 3 |
1659 | It may be the world, but I don't want to eat dog. | 1.3085 | 0.06241 | 94 | 72 | 15 | 7 |
1660 | I hate to say this, but pretty soon you'll only have eight lives. | 1.3085 | 0.06241 | 94 | 72 | 15 | 7 |
1661 | It’s like, what am I even chasing after anyway? | 1.3085 | 0.05665 | 94 | 69 | 21 | 4 |
1662 | So I gave her a dead mouse like you recommended, and let me tell you - it did NOT go over well. | 1.3084 | 0.05851 | 107 | 82 | 17 | 8 |
1663 | . . . and I'm being chased by cars, squirrels, clouds, balloons! | 1.3084 | 0.05541 | 107 | 80 | 21 | 6 |
1664 | The concept of opposable thumbs eludes me. | 1.3077 | 0.06402 | 78 | 58 | 16 | 4 |
1665 | …and lots of shame from delayed house-training. | 1.3077 | 0.05990 | 91 | 68 | 18 | 5 |
1666 | Since I’ve gotten this craving for canned fish, all my former friends have stopped sniffing my butt. | 1.3077 | 0.06273 | 104 | 82 | 12 | 10 |
1667 | Since when do cats have opposable thumbs? | 1.3077 | 0.05782 | 91 | 67 | 20 | 4 |
1668 | Saying my life is the cat’s meow is not reassuring. | 1.3077 | 0.06136 | 78 | 57 | 18 | 3 |
1669 | I can’t help thinking they wanted a cat instead of me. | 1.3077 | 0.05355 | 117 | 88 | 22 | 7 |
1670 | Mostly it's the shoes. I just can't stand them! | 1.3077 | 0.05859 | 78 | 56 | 20 | 2 |
1671 | I just get this sneaking suspicion that my wife has a thing for the Mailman. | 1.3077 | 0.06657 | 78 | 59 | 14 | 5 |
1672 | Stop thinking of humans as gods, and start thinking of them as vending machines, | 1.3077 | 0.05990 | 91 | 68 | 18 | 5 |
1673 | Fear of abandonment manifests in many behaviors, like chasing the mailman. | 1.3077 | 0.04986 | 130 | 97 | 26 | 7 |
1674 | My father was a dog and my mother was a bitch. | 1.3070 | 0.05157 | 114 | 87 | 22 | 5 |
1675 | It's a dog-eat-dog world...not a dog-eat-cat world! | 1.3069 | 0.05758 | 101 | 76 | 19 | 6 |
1676 | Granted, I'm being catty about this, but, no, you can not pay my fee with buried bones. | 1.3069 | 0.05758 | 101 | 76 | 19 | 6 |
1677 | Nowhere in the employee manual does it mention a butt-sniffing moratorium. | 1.3069 | 0.05583 | 101 | 75 | 21 | 5 |
1678 | I took your advice,but my wife said I was barking up the wrong tree. | 1.3069 | 0.05758 | 101 | 76 | 19 | 6 |
1679 | I'm a Good Dog, I know I am, I know I am. | 1.3068 | 0.05907 | 88 | 65 | 19 | 4 |
1680 | You're right. Why am I peeing outdoors? | 1.3068 | 0.05907 | 88 | 65 | 19 | 4 |
1681 | I feel like you just don't care. | 1.3067 | 0.06837 | 75 | 57 | 13 | 5 |
1682 | She just hasn't called me a good boy in so long... | 1.3067 | 0.06569 | 75 | 56 | 15 | 4 |
1683 | Sometimes it's my tail—sometimes it's a car—sometimes it's…you. | 1.3067 | 0.06569 | 75 | 56 | 15 | 4 |
1684 | Vacuums have become a real world problem for Marley and me | 1.3061 | 0.05876 | 98 | 74 | 18 | 6 |
1685 | My nerves are shot. I feel like I’m always being judged by cats. | 1.3061 | 0.05311 | 98 | 71 | 24 | 3 |
1686 | I know it's a fallacy of relative privation, but sometimes I just don't feel like fetching. | 1.3061 | 0.05506 | 98 | 72 | 22 | 4 |
1687 | We've been over this before. I do not have your tongue. | 1.3060 | 0.05106 | 134 | 102 | 23 | 9 |
1688 | So you think the good boy is someone else entirely? | 1.3059 | 0.06268 | 85 | 64 | 16 | 5 |
1689 | Why do I feel that you're not really listening? | 1.3059 | 0.05803 | 85 | 62 | 20 | 3 |
1690 | You're right, my mother was a bitch. | 1.3059 | 0.06487 | 85 | 65 | 14 | 6 |
1691 | I’ve been feline a bit ruff” | 1.3059 | 0.06040 | 85 | 63 | 18 | 4 |
1692 | I don’t find the New Yorker dog cartons funny. | 1.3056 | 0.05497 | 108 | 81 | 21 | 6 |
1693 | Everybody is so catty in this doggone world. | 1.3056 | 0.05803 | 108 | 83 | 17 | 8 |
1694 | She no longer likes to sniff my rear | 1.3056 | 0.05497 | 108 | 81 | 21 | 6 |
1695 | Oh, come on, Doc. Don't make me beg!" | 1.3053 | 0.05810 | 95 | 71 | 19 | 5 |
1696 | I feel guilty about taking cat naps. | 1.3053 | 0.06184 | 95 | 73 | 15 | 7 |
1697 | My life has exactly been a walk in the park. | 1.3053 | 0.05614 | 95 | 70 | 21 | 4 |
1698 | I’m having a bit of a ruff time. | 1.3053 | 0.06000 | 95 | 72 | 17 | 6 |
1699 | I've just noticed it's really a human-eat-human world out there. | 1.3053 | 0.06000 | 95 | 72 | 17 | 6 |
1700 | There I am, tongue out, tail wagging, toe nails clacking with glee as I circle my beloved human, and all I can hear is the echoing, empty, faraway voice of my inner critic whispering yet again those same two words, over and over, relentlessly: 'Bad dog.' | 1.3053 | 0.06184 | 95 | 73 | 15 | 7 |
1701 | They call me scaredy-cat because I'm afraid of fireworks. | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
1702 | I gotta face facts, Doc. No amount of therapy will erase tens of thousands of years of domestication. . . | 1.3049 | 0.06181 | 82 | 61 | 17 | 4 |
1703 | What is it about “no” that you don’t understand” | 1.3049 | 0.06873 | 82 | 64 | 11 | 7 |
1704 | I don’t bury my poop. Is that so bad? | 1.3048 | 0.05600 | 105 | 79 | 20 | 6 |
1705 | I can’t stop these dreams where I’m chasing mice instead of cars. | 1.3048 | 0.05600 | 105 | 79 | 20 | 6 |
1706 | The ringing in my ears still makes me hungry. | 1.3043 | 0.05729 | 92 | 68 | 20 | 4 |
1707 | Well sure I have issues with cats. No reason to get your back up, Doc. | 1.3043 | 0.06324 | 92 | 71 | 14 | 7 |
1708 | This meeeow thing, when did it start? | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
1709 | It just seems like you're not listening. | 1.3043 | 0.05296 | 92 | 66 | 24 | 2 |
1710 | 'My mother'? Well, she was a b.... | 1.3043 | 0.05934 | 92 | 69 | 18 | 5 |
1711 | Sit. Roll over. Beg. I'll do anything for approval. | 1.3043 | 0.07242 | 69 | 53 | 11 | 5 |
1712 | Somehow I think you don't really care about me | 1.3043 | 0.05119 | 115 | 85 | 24 | 5 |
1713 | Uh-oh! Session's over early. I just heard their car drive up. | 1.3043 | 0.05729 | 92 | 68 | 20 | 4 |
1714 | I don't know... my human keeps telling me "heal boy", so here I am. | 1.3043 | 0.06942 | 69 | 52 | 13 | 4 |
1715 | I just can't keep chasing it. | 1.3043 | 0.04967 | 115 | 84 | 27 | 4 |
1716 | Its a lot of pressure to live up to the hype of being man's best friend | 1.3039 | 0.05358 | 102 | 75 | 23 | 4 |
1717 | When were you first diagnosed with feline envy? | 1.3039 | 0.05877 | 102 | 78 | 17 | 7 |
1718 | I always get depressed during the dog days. | 1.3038 | 0.06584 | 79 | 60 | 14 | 5 |
1719 | It’s too much - they keep saying I rescued them. | 1.3038 | 0.06071 | 79 | 58 | 18 | 3 |
1720 | The trouble is I’m a cat person. | 1.3038 | 0.06332 | 79 | 59 | 16 | 4 |
1721 | I thought wanting to chase you up a tree was transference. | 1.3036 | 0.05357 | 112 | 84 | 22 | 6 |
1722 | I think sometimes that I just react instinctually like I'm some kind of animal. | 1.3036 | 0.05357 | 112 | 84 | 22 | 6 |
1723 | I thought I was doing better, but then ate out of the litterbox again | 1.3034 | 0.06472 | 89 | 69 | 13 | 7 |
1724 | My woofer is the cat's meow... | 1.3034 | 0.06272 | 89 | 68 | 15 | 6 |
1725 | I've always felt like I didn't fit in. | 1.3034 | 0.05851 | 89 | 66 | 19 | 4 |
1726 | It’s been ruff. | 1.3034 | 0.06667 | 89 | 70 | 11 | 8 |
1727 | I guess,now,it's out of the bag. | 1.3030 | 0.05644 | 99 | 74 | 20 | 5 |
1728 | I'm sensing your love and approval beneath your façade of disdain and contempt. | 1.3030 | 0.05459 | 99 | 73 | 22 | 4 |
1729 | I want to wag my tail again, wag...how do you wag in this outfit? | 1.3030 | 0.05459 | 99 | 73 | 22 | 4 |
1730 | So, you’re trying to tell me that a cat staying in the room next to yours is both dead and alive? | 1.3030 | 0.05998 | 99 | 76 | 16 | 7 |
1731 | Life is ruff. | 1.3028 | 0.05756 | 109 | 84 | 17 | 8 |
1732 | All of a sudden being a "very good boy" became unfulfilling. | 1.3026 | 0.05929 | 76 | 55 | 19 | 2 |
1733 | It's just that I really, really don't like to bark. | 1.3026 | 0.07014 | 76 | 59 | 11 | 6 |
1734 | It's my pet human; he hears everything I say, but I think he speaks a different language. | 1.3025 | 0.05000 | 119 | 88 | 26 | 5 |
1735 | My wife thinks I've been catting around. | 1.3025 | 0.05277 | 119 | 90 | 22 | 7 |
1736 | Felines? My problem with felines are why I’m court-ordered to be here. | 1.3023 | 0.06421 | 86 | 66 | 14 | 6 |
1737 | But nobody could see the elephant in the room. | 1.3023 | 0.05980 | 86 | 64 | 18 | 4 |
1738 | ... and there was the time a cat chased me up a tree. | 1.3023 | 0.05980 | 86 | 64 | 18 | 4 |
1739 | I've been having these terrible dreams: cats as man's best friend. | 1.3023 | 0.06204 | 86 | 65 | 16 | 5 |
1740 | I was just marking my territory as usual when….. | 1.3023 | 0.06204 | 86 | 65 | 16 | 5 |
1741 | But we don’t fight like that! | 1.3021 | 0.05364 | 96 | 70 | 23 | 3 |
1742 | I'm starting to realise I'm not a working dog at all, I'd rather sleep all day | 1.3021 | 0.06127 | 96 | 74 | 15 | 7 |
1743 | I just found out my best friend has a best friend. | 1.3021 | 0.05946 | 96 | 73 | 17 | 6 |
1744 | No matter how old I get, I need constant reassurance I'm a good boy. | 1.3021 | 0.05364 | 96 | 70 | 23 | 3 |
1745 | Why should I 'sit''" | 1.3019 | 0.06020 | 106 | 83 | 14 | 9 |
1746 | Will there be a conflict of interest here? | 1.3019 | 0.05555 | 106 | 80 | 20 | 6 |
1747 | Seems my bark is even worse than my bite. | 1.3019 | 0.05390 | 106 | 79 | 22 | 5 |
1748 | Doc, you’re lucky your kind isn’t made to “speak”. | 1.3017 | 0.05226 | 116 | 87 | 23 | 6 |
1749 | What if no one thinks I'm a very good boy? | 1.3014 | 0.06376 | 73 | 54 | 16 | 3 |
1750 | I can't shake the feeling that I'm rally a cat in a dog's body. | 1.3014 | 0.06668 | 73 | 55 | 14 | 4 |
1751 | No matter what anyone says I can't shake the feeling that I'm really a bad boy. | 1.3014 | 0.06668 | 73 | 55 | 14 | 4 |
1752 | I suddenly realized it’s a dog’s life. Thanks | 1.3014 | 0.06948 | 73 | 56 | 12 | 5 |
1753 | Let me get this straight,” said Dr. Cat. “The bones are buried where? | 1.3014 | 0.06071 | 73 | 53 | 18 | 2 |
1754 | So does a mailman's leg really taste like chicken? | 1.3012 | 0.06580 | 83 | 64 | 13 | 6 |
1755 | Sorry I chased you under the couch, Doc. | 1.3012 | 0.06580 | 83 | 64 | 13 | 6 |
1756 | My carbon pawprint, the future of dogs on this planet… environmental melancholia | 1.3012 | 0.05617 | 83 | 60 | 21 | 2 |
1757 | I've only got one midlife crisis to figure this out, you don't understand! | 1.3012 | 0.06117 | 83 | 62 | 17 | 4 |
1758 | My wife is leaving me because she caught me in a cathouse. | 1.3012 | 0.05872 | 83 | 61 | 19 | 3 |
1759 | Ya gotta help me, Doc. Everybody is turning into cats! It’s true! Doc? DOC? | 1.3011 | 0.05879 | 93 | 70 | 18 | 5 |
1760 | Stop talking about transference...I just like chasing mice. | 1.3011 | 0.05879 | 93 | 70 | 18 | 5 |
1761 | The cat’s got your tongue, down and noted. | 1.3011 | 0.05467 | 93 | 68 | 22 | 3 |
1762 | I know that liking cat food doesn't make me less of a dog, but it feels like it does/ | 1.3011 | 0.05677 | 93 | 69 | 20 | 4 |
1763 | I would keep it simple and say, “please refer to me as they, them or theirs.” | 1.3010 | 0.05490 | 103 | 77 | 21 | 5 |
1764 | Sorry, but it feels like you're not listening to a single word I'm saying. | 1.3010 | 0.05827 | 103 | 79 | 17 | 7 |
1765 | If I eat you, we still have eight more sessions, right? | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
1766 | You wouldn't understand. | 1.3009 | 0.04850 | 113 | 82 | 28 | 3 |
1767 | This patient-therapist dynamic unfortunately just reinforces a societal stereotype that cats are smarter. | 1.3009 | 0.05166 | 113 | 84 | 24 | 5 |
1768 | I'm never in a video. | 1.3000 | 0.08336 | 60 | 48 | 6 | 6 |
1769 | You made a mistake, don't feel so guilty about it, we're only human. | 1.3000 | 0.06264 | 80 | 60 | 16 | 4 |
1770 | I can’t be myself. I worry that my owner is really a cat person. | 1.3000 | 0.05412 | 100 | 74 | 22 | 4 |
1771 | I identify as a cat. | 1.3000 | 0.06007 | 90 | 68 | 17 | 5 |
1772 | And how long have you wanted to pee in the litter box? | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
1773 | My wife thinks I'm too dogged. | 1.3000 | 0.06409 | 90 | 70 | 13 | 7 |
1774 | The inner cat in me yowls to come out! | 1.3000 | 0.06211 | 90 | 69 | 15 | 6 |
1775 | But can I trust other species? | 1.3000 | 0.06113 | 100 | 78 | 14 | 8 |
1776 | Maybe you're right. Maybe I do fall in love too easily. | 1.3000 | 0.04965 | 120 | 89 | 26 | 5 |
1777 | Unfortunately I can only eat from porcelain bowls from the Ming dynasty. | 1.3000 | 0.06007 | 90 | 68 | 17 | 5 |
1778 | No,I am not a republican why do you ask. | 1.3000 | 0.06211 | 90 | 69 | 15 | 6 |
1779 | Canine, feline, why do words matter anyway? | 1.3000 | 0.05239 | 120 | 91 | 22 | 7 |
1780 | At the end of the day, we're all just dogs. | 1.3000 | 0.06007 | 90 | 68 | 17 | 5 |
1781 | And sometimes, I talk to a box, thinking that you may be in there, listening to me. | 1.3000 | 0.06007 | 90 | 68 | 17 | 5 |
1782 | July 4th… every year… whyyyy! | 1.3000 | 0.06751 | 80 | 62 | 12 | 6 |
1783 | The humans call me a different name every day. I just don’t know who I am anymore. | 1.3000 | 0.05412 | 100 | 74 | 22 | 4 |
1784 | We have to dig up what you’ve buried. But I assure you, all my clients land on their feet. | 1.2992 | 0.05039 | 127 | 96 | 24 | 7 |
1785 | When they said it was a dog eat dog world, I thought it was just a metaphor. | 1.2992 | 0.05398 | 127 | 99 | 18 | 10 |
1786 | I FEEL LIKE I'M JUST A WOOFER TRYING TO LIVE IN A MEOW WORLD" | 1.2991 | 0.05188 | 117 | 88 | 23 | 6 |
1787 | My best memories are that lingering smell of skunk afterwards. | 1.2991 | 0.05510 | 107 | 81 | 20 | 6 |
1788 | ...My mother...? she was a nasty bitch...! | 1.2991 | 0.05821 | 107 | 83 | 16 | 8 |
1789 | Two hundred an hour and all you ever seem to come up with is "Life is like a ball of string"? | 1.2990 | 0.06072 | 97 | 75 | 15 | 7 |
1790 | I boosted sales, but received no treat whatsoever, just a pat on the head. | 1.2990 | 0.05317 | 97 | 71 | 23 | 3 |
1791 | If I were a cat, I'd at least come when I was called. | 1.2990 | 0.05516 | 97 | 72 | 21 | 4 |
1792 | I fear I'm getting to look like my master. | 1.2990 | 0.05892 | 97 | 74 | 17 | 6 |
1793 | Spot, now there's a people pleaser. | 1.2990 | 0.05516 | 97 | 72 | 21 | 4 |
1794 | I mean…is it really so hard for her to see that my inner puppy has Post Traumatic Fetch Syndrome?? | 1.2990 | 0.05892 | 97 | 74 | 17 | 6 |
1795 | I keep dreaming about very cool cats. | 1.2989 | 0.06143 | 87 | 66 | 16 | 5 |
1796 | I have a fear of mice. | 1.2989 | 0.06356 | 87 | 67 | 14 | 6 |
1797 | I get no respect; it's "sit, stay. heel all day". You have no idea. | 1.2989 | 0.05921 | 87 | 65 | 18 | 4 |
1798 | Would you please stop staring at the fly on the wall and listen to me. | 1.2989 | 0.06143 | 87 | 66 | 16 | 5 |
1799 | I know it’s just a saying, but sometimes I really do wonder if your job is to fight with me? | 1.2989 | 0.06563 | 87 | 68 | 12 | 7 |
1800 | And I was so excited when she got home but ITS NOT AS IF YOU’D KNOW WHAT THATS LIKE!! | 1.2989 | 0.06143 | 87 | 66 | 16 | 5 |
1801 | I’m tired of chasing my tail. I need to start chasing my dreams. | 1.2989 | 0.05921 | 87 | 65 | 18 | 4 |
1802 | I need to set and keep to boundaries. | 1.2987 | 0.06421 | 77 | 58 | 15 | 4 |
1803 | I just wish they had some place for me to poop inside. | 1.2987 | 0.06421 | 77 | 58 | 15 | 4 |
1804 | All my life, I’ve felt like a cat trapped in a dog’s body.” | 1.2987 | 0.06421 | 77 | 58 | 15 | 4 |
1805 | Yes, I'm trans. I've felt like a cat ever since I was a puppy! | 1.2987 | 0.06421 | 77 | 58 | 15 | 4 |
1806 | Take it from me, it’s not you; people are the needy and dependent ones. | 1.2987 | 0.06682 | 77 | 59 | 13 | 5 |
1807 | Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?" Every day, always the same question. Why don't they know by now? I keep trying my best, doc, but I don't know what to do anymore | 1.2984 | 0.04989 | 124 | 93 | 25 | 6 |
1808 | Your turn on the couch. | 1.2982 | 0.05421 | 114 | 87 | 20 | 7 |
1809 | Are you sure Sigmund Fido is unavailable? | 1.2982 | 0.05421 | 114 | 87 | 20 | 7 |
1810 | I'm getting old and it scares me. I only have one life you know | 1.2981 | 0.04904 | 104 | 75 | 27 | 2 |
1811 | … so then Rocky calls me a pussy. | 1.2981 | 0.05445 | 104 | 78 | 21 | 5 |
1812 | It is so humiliating to have to open up to you! | 1.2981 | 0.05271 | 104 | 77 | 23 | 4 |
1813 | I really wish you'd stop purring | 1.2981 | 0.05271 | 104 | 77 | 23 | 4 |
1814 | Pussy makes me crazy.... | 1.2981 | 0.05271 | 104 | 77 | 23 | 4 |
1815 | And what’s with all the toys? Is it for me or them? I’m almost 124 years old, I just want a scotch and the good spot on the couch… you get it. | 1.2981 | 0.05271 | 104 | 77 | 23 | 4 |
1816 | I have this compulsion to wear shoes on my hands. | 1.2981 | 0.05614 | 104 | 79 | 19 | 6 |
1817 | And they keep wanting me to sleep with them. | 1.2981 | 0.05937 | 104 | 81 | 15 | 8 |
1818 | … dog tired, … , it’s a dog’s life, … in the dog house! What do I have to do to get some respect around here? | 1.2979 | 0.05825 | 94 | 71 | 18 | 5 |
1819 | Going forward, Let's refer to your wife as a 'female dog', please. | 1.2979 | 0.06018 | 94 | 72 | 16 | 6 |
1820 | No, me being your therapist is not a catastrophe.. | 1.2979 | 0.06018 | 94 | 72 | 16 | 6 |
1821 | And, she keeps hounding me about my bad breath. | 1.2979 | 0.05418 | 94 | 69 | 22 | 3 |
1822 | I feel guilty about wanting to chase mice. | 1.2979 | 0.06387 | 94 | 74 | 12 | 8 |
1823 | I actually like the collar, you know. Just not the way it looks. | 1.2977 | 0.04809 | 131 | 98 | 27 | 6 |
1824 | I believe I was really born to be a cat, but every time I ignore them they yell at me. | 1.2976 | 0.05561 | 84 | 61 | 21 | 2 |
1825 | Help me, Doc. I have this compulsion to please my owners. | 1.2976 | 0.06055 | 84 | 63 | 17 | 4 |
1826 | You really think I’ve been chasing after the wrong thing my entire life? | 1.2976 | 0.05561 | 84 | 61 | 21 | 2 |
1827 | I had the dream again where we were naked and fighting over a piece of cheese. | 1.2975 | 0.05202 | 121 | 92 | 22 | 7 |
1828 | Sure, I know that chasing the ball is wrong, but I can’t help myself. | 1.2973 | 0.05350 | 74 | 52 | 22 | 0 |
1829 | I gotta be honest with you, Dr. Katz. It’s been pretty rrrough. My obsession with cats is so out of control it has me thinking even you are a cat! | 1.2973 | 0.05214 | 111 | 83 | 23 | 5 |
1830 | Dont think about my wealth, think about my health dear | 1.2973 | 0.06002 | 74 | 54 | 18 | 2 |
1831 | You CAN'T understand, it's a dog eat dog world! | 1.2973 | 0.05368 | 111 | 84 | 21 | 6 |
1832 | I have a crippling fear that one day it will rain so hard that WE become the rain | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1833 | I do it because I can, Doctor. | 1.2970 | 0.05548 | 101 | 76 | 20 | 5 |
1834 | Is it possible man isn't MY best friend? My world would be shattered! I'm sure you can empathize... | 1.2970 | 0.05179 | 101 | 74 | 24 | 3 |
1835 | I just don't understand how they haven't figured out yet that I am the good boy. | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1836 | Anthropomorphism? That’s your diagnosis? | 1.2969 | 0.07278 | 64 | 49 | 11 | 4 |
1837 | What should I do? My owner wants me to stop wearing his clothes. | 1.2967 | 0.06151 | 91 | 70 | 15 | 6 |
1838 | I see the man or woman get out the leash, and I start running around in circles I'm so excited. I don't think you'd understand." | 1.2967 | 0.05741 | 91 | 68 | 19 | 4 |
1839 | Don't EVEN get me started on the 4th of July. | 1.2967 | 0.05741 | 91 | 68 | 19 | 4 |
1840 | ...And it was raining cats and dogs. It was horrible. | 1.2967 | 0.05949 | 91 | 69 | 17 | 5 |
1841 | And she doesn't let me wear boots. | 1.2967 | 0.06151 | 91 | 70 | 15 | 6 |
1842 | Not that you would understand, but it's a dog-eat-dog world out there. | 1.2967 | 0.05741 | 91 | 68 | 19 | 4 |
1843 | It all started with the pooper scooper law | 1.2967 | 0.05949 | 91 | 69 | 17 | 5 |
1844 | It’s raining. | 1.2967 | 0.06347 | 91 | 71 | 13 | 7 |
1845 | I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't welcome them home with enthusiasm any more. | 1.2963 | 0.06197 | 81 | 61 | 16 | 4 |
1846 | 'So what say we forget all the talking and I just come here to eat from your litter box once a week?" | 1.2963 | 0.05465 | 108 | 82 | 20 | 6 |
1847 | And why is it the dog days of summer? | 1.2963 | 0.06197 | 81 | 61 | 16 | 4 |
1848 | What do you mean by "meow"? | 1.2963 | 0.05139 | 108 | 80 | 24 | 4 |
1849 | Why do we dress up for this? | 1.2963 | 0.05305 | 108 | 81 | 22 | 5 |
1850 | I'm stressed about my upcoming license exam. | 1.2963 | 0.05622 | 108 | 83 | 18 | 7 |
1851 | So you’re saying I hate myself because my mother was a bitch? | 1.2963 | 0.05465 | 108 | 82 | 20 | 6 |
1852 | A colleague suggested that you might be able to help me with my catnip addiction. | 1.2960 | 0.05083 | 125 | 95 | 23 | 7 |
1853 | I told her my bark was worse than my bite. | 1.2959 | 0.06017 | 98 | 76 | 15 | 7 |
1854 | No, I don’t think chasing you around the office would be therapeutic, and I’m a little surprised that you’d suggest the idea. | 1.2959 | 0.05840 | 98 | 75 | 17 | 6 |
1855 | I’m still struggling with what to name my owner. | 1.2959 | 0.05068 | 98 | 71 | 25 | 2 |
1856 | Actually I like cats,some of my best friends are cats! | 1.2959 | 0.05657 | 98 | 74 | 19 | 5 |
1857 | I don't mind an occasional butt sniff, but couldn't they just ask me how I am sometimes? | 1.2959 | 0.05657 | 98 | 74 | 19 | 5 |
1858 | But if I say, 'I'm NOT a speciesist! My therapist is a cat!' then they'll know I'm in therapy!" | 1.2955 | 0.06082 | 88 | 67 | 16 | 5 |
1859 | So when do you believe this constant need to please began? | 1.2955 | 0.06082 | 88 | 67 | 16 | 5 |
1860 | I know you're on number nine. | 1.2955 | 0.05863 | 88 | 66 | 18 | 4 |
1861 | Doc, I have the strangest urge to hump everything in site! | 1.2955 | 0.05636 | 88 | 65 | 20 | 3 |
1862 | You keep returning the frisbee. Why? | 1.2955 | 0.06082 | 88 | 67 | 16 | 5 |
1863 | It’s like a fog coming in on little cat’s paws | 1.2955 | 0.06293 | 88 | 68 | 14 | 6 |
1864 | I sense some tension here. | 1.2955 | 0.05863 | 88 | 66 | 18 | 4 |
1865 | It’s just that sometimes it seems like I’m just barking at nothing | 1.2955 | 0.05399 | 88 | 64 | 22 | 2 |
1866 | When she laughed and said give the dog a bone, I sat and waited a half hour. Until I realised she was referring to her husband. | 1.2952 | 0.05567 | 105 | 80 | 19 | 6 |
1867 | Aren't we done already! | 1.2949 | 0.06607 | 78 | 60 | 13 | 5 |
1868 | Am I allowed to say I'm scared of cats? | 1.2947 | 0.05370 | 95 | 70 | 22 | 3 |
1869 | My mother tried to raise me as a cat | 1.2947 | 0.05370 | 95 | 70 | 22 | 3 |
1870 | Have you tried treating them like they don’t exist? | 1.2947 | 0.05574 | 95 | 71 | 20 | 4 |
1871 | So you’re suggesting I give up my morning walk and use a litter box.” | 1.2947 | 0.05962 | 95 | 73 | 16 | 6 |
1872 | I don't feel the catnip is working... | 1.2946 | 0.05327 | 112 | 85 | 21 | 6 |
1873 | Sure, they feed me and all. But sometimes, it’s like they don’t even know I’m there. | 1.2946 | 0.05174 | 112 | 84 | 23 | 5 |
1874 | This burning desire I have to chase you around the room… is it instinct or another transference projection? | 1.2946 | 0.05621 | 112 | 87 | 17 | 8 |
1875 | It seems my whole life is a game. | 1.2941 | 0.05675 | 102 | 78 | 18 | 6 |
1876 | 23,000 years ago my ancestors were eating meat right off the bone and now I just get kibble?? You call that progress?? | 1.2941 | 0.05506 | 85 | 62 | 21 | 2 |
1877 | My wife doesn't understand me. She's a cat person, I'm a dog person. | 1.2941 | 0.06658 | 85 | 67 | 11 | 7 |
1878 | I destroyed my master's living room but he didn't call me 'good boy' and give me a treat like you said he would. | 1.2941 | 0.06223 | 85 | 65 | 15 | 5 |
1879 | The needs of hounds know no bounds! | 1.2941 | 0.05993 | 85 | 64 | 17 | 4 |
1880 | I keep having this recurring dream where my owners adopt a kitten. | 1.2941 | 0.06444 | 85 | 66 | 13 | 6 |
1881 | I'm sorry! Whisker envy is not a treatable condition. | 1.2941 | 0.05501 | 102 | 77 | 20 | 5 |
1882 | I just can't seem to shake this feeling that everyone is taunting me. | 1.2941 | 0.05506 | 85 | 62 | 21 | 2 |
1883 | Frankly, I don't think this therapeutic relationship is going that well. | 1.2941 | 0.05993 | 85 | 64 | 17 | 4 |
1884 | I woke up with floppy ears and then I drank from the toilet. | 1.2941 | 0.05755 | 85 | 63 | 19 | 3 |
1885 | …..and there were NO HYDRANTS in the hallway… | 1.2941 | 0.06223 | 85 | 65 | 15 | 5 |
1886 | And is this “good boy” in the room with us right now? | 1.2941 | 0.06223 | 85 | 65 | 15 | 5 |
1887 | If I am man's best friend how come you guys get most of the head scratches? | 1.2936 | 0.05263 | 109 | 82 | 22 | 5 |
1888 | No, it's not a dog's life, and don't ask me how I feel about it. | 1.2936 | 0.05422 | 109 | 83 | 20 | 6 |
1889 | I’ve been suffering with this for a long time. Not sure how long in people years. | 1.2936 | 0.05576 | 109 | 84 | 18 | 7 |
1890 | It was hard tying my tie without opposable thumbs | 1.2935 | 0.06093 | 92 | 71 | 15 | 6 |
1891 | It's just going ruff. | 1.2935 | 0.05893 | 92 | 70 | 17 | 5 |
1892 | "I thought working with you would eliminate any problem of transference." | 1.2935 | 0.06286 | 92 | 72 | 13 | 7 |
1893 | Easy for you to say, you’ve got nine lives. | 1.2935 | 0.05893 | 92 | 70 | 17 | 5 |
1894 | It’s a pet theory of mine that it’s unhealthy to be a people pleaser. | 1.2935 | 0.06093 | 92 | 71 | 15 | 6 |
1895 | You’re the only one who plays with me, Doctor. | 1.2935 | 0.05687 | 92 | 69 | 19 | 4 |
1896 | I have no idea who thought YOU could be of any help to me! | 1.2933 | 0.06785 | 75 | 58 | 12 | 5 |
1897 | Indifference? What exactly is that? | 1.2933 | 0.06514 | 75 | 57 | 14 | 4 |
1898 | Cats’ licking themselves is so overrated, am I right? | 1.2933 | 0.05623 | 75 | 54 | 20 | 1 |
1899 | I don't have insurance — can I pay you with mice? | 1.2931 | 0.04900 | 116 | 86 | 26 | 4 |
1900 | ...But inside my body I'm really a cat!... | 1.2929 | 0.05227 | 99 | 73 | 23 | 3 |
1901 | My problems began when an indoor feline moved into our apartment. | 1.2929 | 0.05607 | 99 | 75 | 19 | 5 |
1902 | I mean, what sort of animal would enjoy the rat race? | 1.2929 | 0.05788 | 99 | 76 | 17 | 6 |
1903 | It's a recurring nightmare—my favorite chew toy goes squeak, squeak, squeak, then silence. | 1.2927 | 0.05881 | 82 | 61 | 18 | 3 |
1904 | I can stop barking up the wrong tree anytime I want. I just don't want to. | 1.2927 | 0.06829 | 82 | 65 | 10 | 7 |
1905 | I have a compulsion to chase cats. | 1.2927 | 0.06373 | 82 | 63 | 14 | 5 |
1906 | It all started when I posted a "Dog Lives Matter" meme. | 1.2927 | 0.05881 | 82 | 61 | 18 | 3 |
1907 | Why do they have to call them the dog days of summer? | 1.2927 | 0.05382 | 123 | 96 | 18 | 9 |
1908 | You are species biased | 1.2927 | 0.06373 | 82 | 63 | 14 | 5 |
1909 | I’m not so sure you are superior because you use a litter box. | 1.2927 | 0.06373 | 82 | 63 | 14 | 5 |
1910 | I think you are trying too hard to gain their attention. | 1.2927 | 0.06605 | 82 | 64 | 12 | 6 |
1911 | You can't understand. My mother was a bitch. | 1.2927 | 0.06132 | 82 | 62 | 16 | 4 |
1912 | I dream about chasing the mailman but never seem to be able to catch him. | 1.2925 | 0.05356 | 106 | 80 | 21 | 5 |
1913 | It all started when my mother fed me fancy feast. | 1.2925 | 0.05838 | 106 | 83 | 15 | 8 |
1914 | Do you ever feel like an imposter in your own body? | 1.2923 | 0.07180 | 65 | 50 | 11 | 4 |
1915 | Well, surprise, surprise, I'm back on the Milk Bones again! | 1.2921 | 0.05582 | 89 | 66 | 20 | 3 |
1916 | I've never been able to get the monogamy thing. | 1.2921 | 0.06231 | 89 | 69 | 14 | 6 |
1917 | I've always been more comfortable purring. | 1.2921 | 0.06628 | 89 | 71 | 10 | 8 |
1918 | You turn 6 and start to question everything. | 1.2921 | 0.05806 | 89 | 67 | 18 | 4 |
1919 | Lately, they’re all dog days. | 1.2920 | 0.04477 | 113 | 81 | 31 | 1 |
1920 | Well, I don't think that's the issue. I literally CAN'T sweat the small stuff. | 1.2917 | 0.05719 | 96 | 73 | 18 | 5 |
1921 | Anal fixation sounds so serious, just because I sniff butts. | 1.2917 | 0.05908 | 96 | 74 | 16 | 6 |
1922 | I was so loyal to her. You can understand that, right Doc? | 1.2917 | 0.05322 | 96 | 71 | 22 | 3 |
1923 | First, let me assure I never joined in when my buddies wanted to roam the neighborhood chasing cats. | 1.2917 | 0.06091 | 96 | 75 | 14 | 7 |
1924 | I told them I needed time on the couch" | 1.2917 | 0.05719 | 96 | 73 | 18 | 5 |
1925 | Unlike my other friends I like Pussy. | 1.2917 | 0.06091 | 96 | 75 | 14 | 7 |
1926 | In a prior life, I was a mouse. | 1.2917 | 0.06091 | 96 | 75 | 14 | 7 |
1927 | You have catnip. I got nothin' | 1.2917 | 0.05719 | 96 | 73 | 18 | 5 |
1928 | What if it doesn’t matter who the good boy is? | 1.2917 | 0.06689 | 72 | 55 | 13 | 4 |
1929 | Then he just stopped bringing out food after the bell. | 1.2917 | 0.06976 | 72 | 56 | 11 | 5 |
1930 | Have you thought that maybe she is just cat person. | 1.2917 | 0.05112 | 96 | 70 | 24 | 2 |
1931 | And I’m still having the recurring dream where I’m naked and caged in someone’s bedroom. | 1.2913 | 0.04887 | 127 | 96 | 25 | 6 |
1932 | I mean, what’s so bad about putting “cat/kitten” next to my name if that’s how I feel? | 1.2913 | 0.05455 | 103 | 78 | 20 | 5 |
1933 | It all started at the Westminster when nature called. | 1.2911 | 0.06016 | 79 | 59 | 17 | 3 |
1934 | I just wonder: is there any room for a vegan in this dog-eat-dog world? | 1.2907 | 0.06159 | 86 | 66 | 15 | 5 |
1935 | It’s a recurring nightmare where I actually catch the car! | 1.2907 | 0.05933 | 86 | 65 | 17 | 4 |
1936 | Is it transference if I have a bone to pick with you? | 1.2907 | 0.06793 | 86 | 69 | 9 | 8 |
1937 | Progress, but I'm still struggling with the fire hydrants issue. | 1.2907 | 0.05698 | 86 | 64 | 19 | 3 |
1938 | And then the guy sang, "You ain't nothing but a hound dog." | 1.2907 | 0.05933 | 86 | 65 | 17 | 4 |
1939 | Lately everyone I see looks like a cat. | 1.2907 | 0.06159 | 86 | 66 | 15 | 5 |
1940 | It feels like sometimes I’m just chasing my own tail, you know? | 1.2907 | 0.05933 | 86 | 65 | 17 | 4 |
1941 | I just feel like I am on a leash | 1.2907 | 0.06159 | 86 | 66 | 15 | 5 |
1942 | I feel we live in two different worlds. You like the branches and I like the trunks. | 1.2907 | 0.05933 | 86 | 65 | 17 | 4 |
1943 | My Tik Tok views are cratering. | 1.2907 | 0.06159 | 86 | 66 | 15 | 5 |
1944 | It’s normal for dogs to feel that way. Humans are emotionally needy, too. | 1.2906 | 0.05014 | 117 | 88 | 24 | 5 |
1945 | Aren't you just tired of the rat race? | 1.2903 | 0.05634 | 93 | 70 | 19 | 4 |
1946 | But think of the anxiety when all my verse is called doggerel? | 1.2903 | 0.05203 | 93 | 68 | 23 | 2 |
1947 | I'm conflicted with my instinctual urge to kill you. | 1.2903 | 0.05423 | 93 | 69 | 21 | 3 |
1948 | Even when I was a puppy, I felt that I really was a kitten. | 1.2903 | 0.05838 | 93 | 71 | 17 | 5 |
1949 | And why do you think you've been feline down recently? | 1.2903 | 0.05838 | 93 | 71 | 17 | 5 |
1950 | I no longer can hang out with my pals, after I told them I was seeing a cat. | 1.2900 | 0.06079 | 100 | 79 | 13 | 8 |
1951 | You couldn’t possibly under the pressure of trying to be a good boy. It’s simply not in your nature. | 1.2900 | 0.05738 | 100 | 77 | 17 | 6 |
1952 | I’m afraid I have a Fido complex. | 1.2900 | 0.05911 | 100 | 78 | 15 | 7 |
1953 | Sometimes I just want to shout, “Gretchen, stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen! It’s not going to happen.” But I don’t need to tell YOU that. | 1.2900 | 0.05911 | 100 | 78 | 15 | 7 |
1954 | The moment I fear most is when it´s raining cats and dogs | 1.2900 | 0.05911 | 100 | 78 | 15 | 7 |
1955 | And so, you see, when I woke up I was a dog. | 1.2897 | 0.05313 | 107 | 81 | 21 | 5 |
1956 | And I still have the urge to push my nose in my poop. | 1.2897 | 0.05790 | 107 | 84 | 15 | 8 |
1957 | I just feel like I’m always chasing my tail. | 1.2895 | 0.06706 | 76 | 59 | 12 | 5 |
1958 | “I swear it was a cat behind the wheel of the last car I chased.” | 1.2895 | 0.05869 | 76 | 56 | 18 | 2 |
1959 | Patient's neediness borders on contemptible. | 1.2895 | 0.06160 | 76 | 57 | 16 | 3 |
1960 | The only time I really feel alive is when I play dead. | 1.2895 | 0.06963 | 76 | 60 | 10 | 6 |
1961 | During a chase, I need to distinguish cats from skunks. | 1.2895 | 0.06706 | 76 | 59 | 12 | 5 |
1962 | And then they all yell "Who let the dog out" and woof at me! | 1.2895 | 0.05392 | 114 | 88 | 19 | 7 |
1963 | Oh, why do I even bother coming here. We both know dogs and cats can't talk. | 1.2895 | 0.05246 | 114 | 87 | 21 | 6 |
1964 | What does "Mind your own business" even mean? | 1.2895 | 0.06706 | 76 | 59 | 12 | 5 |
1965 | How exactly would running across the highway during rush hour help me? | 1.2893 | 0.04758 | 121 | 90 | 27 | 4 |
1966 | Doctor, I hope you can understand that my need to please feels obsessive. | 1.2892 | 0.05563 | 83 | 61 | 20 | 2 |
1967 | No, I haven't tried chasing the laser pointer. | 1.2892 | 0.05563 | 83 | 61 | 20 | 2 |
1968 | It IS a big woof! | 1.2892 | 0.06534 | 83 | 65 | 12 | 6 |
1969 | Pack life interferes with self-actualization. | 1.2892 | 0.06306 | 83 | 64 | 14 | 5 |
1970 | I would like to transition to a cat. | 1.2892 | 0.06068 | 83 | 63 | 16 | 4 |
1971 | I just can't get you out of my mind. | 1.2892 | 0.05821 | 83 | 62 | 18 | 3 |
1972 | I had that dream again where it was raining us. | 1.2892 | 0.05563 | 83 | 61 | 20 | 2 |
1973 | I try to be cool an then someone throws a ball. | 1.2892 | 0.06306 | 83 | 64 | 14 | 5 |
1974 | So you're telling me I should bite them when I want more pets? | 1.2892 | 0.05563 | 83 | 61 | 20 | 2 |
1975 | And in another twist of the nightmare, it was raining men. | 1.2889 | 0.06170 | 90 | 70 | 14 | 6 |
1976 | What's this thing called a zipper? What's it for? | 1.2889 | 0.05751 | 90 | 68 | 18 | 4 |
1977 | And then they went off on the 6th of July. | 1.2889 | 0.05751 | 90 | 68 | 18 | 4 |
1978 | Sometimes,a rubber cigar is just a rubber cigar. | 1.2889 | 0.05299 | 90 | 66 | 22 | 2 |
1979 | Licking your problems won’t make them go away. | 1.2889 | 0.05529 | 90 | 67 | 20 | 3 |
1980 | A bone for your thoughts. | 1.2887 | 0.05068 | 97 | 71 | 24 | 2 |
1981 | I've never been allowed up on a couch before. | 1.2887 | 0.05068 | 97 | 71 | 24 | 2 |
1982 | Sometimes I don't even know who's a good boy anymore." | 1.2887 | 0.06035 | 97 | 76 | 14 | 7 |
1983 | You must think I'm barking mad. | 1.2885 | 0.05744 | 104 | 81 | 16 | 7 |
1984 | I know I'm screwed up, but you're a therapist. For God's sake, don't be catty! | 1.2885 | 0.04864 | 104 | 76 | 26 | 2 |
1985 | It bothers me so much that humans call it 'doggy-style' that I have developed performance anxiety | 1.2885 | 0.06061 | 104 | 83 | 12 | 9 |
1986 | Because it's always meow meow meow in my dreams, never bark bark bark. | 1.2885 | 0.05409 | 104 | 82 | 16 | 6 |
1987 | I don't feel like the real me is a cat person or a dog person. | 1.2883 | 0.05020 | 111 | 83 | 24 | 4 |
1988 | I think you just can't accept that I'm not a cat person. | 1.2883 | 0.05181 | 111 | 84 | 22 | 5 |
1989 | This will never work. Cat people just don’t understand dog people. | 1.2878 | 0.04706 | 139 | 106 | 26 | 7 |
1990 | I am sorry we have been picking on your family all these years. | 1.2877 | 0.06315 | 73 | 55 | 15 | 3 |
1991 | I give and I give and I give to this family, but Felix purrs once a day and suddenly he’s the hero. | 1.2877 | 0.06315 | 73 | 55 | 15 | 3 |
1992 | I’d recommend we go the traditional therapy route. I can’t teach an old dog new tricks. | 1.2877 | 0.06891 | 73 | 57 | 11 | 5 |
1993 | Everyone toys with me. | 1.2875 | 0.06212 | 80 | 61 | 15 | 4 |
1994 | My tail cannot wag in these pants. | 1.2875 | 0.06212 | 80 | 61 | 15 | 4 |
1995 | Please! Don’t get catty with ME. | 1.2875 | 0.06702 | 80 | 63 | 11 | 6 |
1996 | I feel like when I say "woof" you hear "meow" | 1.2875 | 0.06462 | 80 | 62 | 13 | 5 |
1997 | The kids would tease me...call me a pussy...and I liked it. | 1.2875 | 0.05680 | 80 | 59 | 19 | 2 |
1998 | I grew up in a house with no milkbones. | 1.2875 | 0.06212 | 80 | 61 | 15 | 4 |
1999 | With you, I sense it's more than just mere curiosity. | 1.2875 | 0.05680 | 80 | 59 | 19 | 2 |
2000 | I want to be more like you. | 1.2875 | 0.05680 | 80 | 59 | 19 | 2 |
2001 | Is it really too much to ask for a little empathy here? | 1.2875 | 0.05680 | 80 | 59 | 19 | 2 |
2002 | You aim to please - I get it. But why? | 1.2875 | 0.06702 | 80 | 63 | 11 | 6 |
2003 | A new career? I'm not like you. I can't just learn... | 1.2874 | 0.05874 | 87 | 66 | 17 | 4 |
2004 | I can’t stop self-diagnosing myself with cat-scratch fever. | 1.2874 | 0.06097 | 87 | 67 | 15 | 5 |
2005 | Ya,nobody cares. | 1.2874 | 0.05874 | 87 | 66 | 17 | 4 |
2006 | The turtleneck is much cooler than the shirt and tie . . . but I'll take the couch over the chair any day. The spiral notepad and pen are a nice touch. | 1.2874 | 0.05874 | 87 | 66 | 17 | 4 |
2007 | Can we avoid a counter-transference? | 1.2874 | 0.06313 | 87 | 68 | 13 | 6 |
2008 | I hear you purring over there... you ~ in your mock turtleneck. | 1.2874 | 0.05400 | 87 | 64 | 21 | 2 |
2009 | I know I’m man’s best friend, but is he mine? | 1.2874 | 0.05642 | 87 | 65 | 19 | 3 |
2010 | Yes,I did try giving them a dead mouse. | 1.2874 | 0.06097 | 87 | 67 | 15 | 5 |
2011 | I feel like you’re treating me like a pussy | 1.2874 | 0.06097 | 87 | 67 | 15 | 5 |
2012 | ..& that’d be 100 ducks 🦆. See you next week. | 1.2874 | 0.05874 | 87 | 66 | 17 | 4 |
2013 | We have proof you peed on Donald Trump's leg! | 1.2872 | 0.05784 | 94 | 72 | 17 | 5 |
2014 | Why do I get blamed for those messes by the table? Chester never gets blamed. He just purs and flares his tail and they shower him with love. | 1.2872 | 0.05784 | 94 | 72 | 17 | 5 |
2015 | I think I might need my catnip upped. | 1.2872 | 0.05374 | 94 | 70 | 21 | 3 |
2016 | Thanks for asking, but I'm fine. I only came in because I was dog tired. | 1.2872 | 0.06167 | 94 | 74 | 13 | 7 |
2017 | Ever since the Broadway show I've indentified as a cat. | 1.2872 | 0.05157 | 94 | 69 | 23 | 2 |
2018 | I'm being accused of sniffing around the office too much. | 1.2871 | 0.06026 | 101 | 80 | 13 | 8 |
2019 | Sometimes it feels like my whole life is just a series of New Yorker cartoons. | 1.2871 | 0.05328 | 101 | 76 | 21 | 4 |
2020 | Well...at least we don't have to worry about transference. | 1.2870 | 0.05271 | 108 | 82 | 21 | 5 |
2021 | What’s a seven year itch? Can flea powder work? | 1.2870 | 0.05589 | 108 | 84 | 17 | 7 |
2022 | On the Internet, everybody knows that you’re a dog. | 1.2870 | 0.05589 | 108 | 84 | 17 | 7 |
2023 | Lately, I’ve had this strange urge to bury my poop. | 1.2870 | 0.05432 | 108 | 83 | 19 | 6 |
2024 | This is the first time I’ve been allowed on the bed. | 1.2870 | 0.05432 | 108 | 83 | 19 | 6 |
2025 | I am walked, sheltered, petted and fed. How can you tell me to feel indifferent? | 1.2857 | 0.06110 | 91 | 71 | 14 | 6 |
2026 | In my dreams, I'm always wearing clothes. | 1.2857 | 0.07126 | 77 | 62 | 8 | 7 |
2027 | Sometimes I feel like I am just chasing my tail; I don’t suppose you ever feel that way? | 1.2857 | 0.05507 | 84 | 62 | 20 | 2 |
2028 | I just don't think you can really understand.... | 1.2857 | 0.06239 | 84 | 65 | 14 | 5 |
2029 | Its normal to sleep all day, but the feelings of not holding grudges, almost complete obediance, and the need to be in a group regularly, that has me more than a little concerned. | 1.2857 | 0.06465 | 84 | 66 | 12 | 6 |
2030 | Don't be a pussy | 1.2857 | 0.06366 | 77 | 59 | 14 | 4 |
2031 | It's not resistance. I just roll over and play dead. | 1.2857 | 0.06005 | 84 | 64 | 16 | 4 |
2032 | I love to torment cats. | 1.2857 | 0.05618 | 98 | 75 | 18 | 5 |
2033 | I prefer women's clothes but the artist refuses to draw me in them. | 1.2857 | 0.05696 | 105 | 82 | 16 | 7 |
2034 | Ok so they told you repeatedly to stay off the couch. | 1.2857 | 0.06629 | 77 | 60 | 12 | 5 |
2035 | I'm purring in my sleep and my wife is getting suspicious. | 1.2857 | 0.05696 | 91 | 69 | 18 | 4 |
2036 | I can jump. I can fetch. But I can’t understand women. | 1.2857 | 0.06239 | 84 | 65 | 14 | 5 |
2037 | I can't find the right neutered pronoun. | 1.2857 | 0.06306 | 91 | 72 | 12 | 7 |
2038 | Uh Uh Uh meow Uh Uh | 1.2857 | 0.05533 | 105 | 81 | 18 | 6 |
2039 | She said Meow | 1.2857 | 0.06793 | 70 | 54 | 12 | 4 |
2040 | After we talk,you can chase me around the room. | 1.2857 | 0.05533 | 105 | 81 | 18 | 6 |
2041 | It's been hard being a cat person. | 1.2857 | 0.06005 | 84 | 64 | 16 | 4 |
2042 | I’m depressed & losing my predatory instinct….I don’t even want to chase you around. | 1.2857 | 0.05365 | 105 | 80 | 20 | 5 |
2043 | I have trouble sharing my felines. I mean, my feelings! Sorry, was that a Freudian slip? | 1.2857 | 0.06882 | 77 | 61 | 10 | 6 |
2044 | Why don’t cats like you? Hmm… | 1.2857 | 0.05191 | 105 | 79 | 22 | 4 |
2045 | First session is on loyalty. | 1.2857 | 0.06005 | 84 | 64 | 16 | 4 |
2046 | Before we start, you've come to the right place. We are species-blind. | 1.2857 | 0.05191 | 105 | 79 | 22 | 4 |
2047 | I don’t see how you can be objective about this. | 1.2857 | 0.05427 | 98 | 74 | 20 | 4 |
2048 | You're my tenth referral. I'm not sure if I'm the problem. | 1.2857 | 0.07126 | 77 | 62 | 8 | 7 |
2049 | It all started when I was just a pup. | 1.2857 | 0.05427 | 98 | 74 | 20 | 4 |
2050 | I just don’t think I’m a good boy. | 1.2857 | 0.05477 | 91 | 68 | 20 | 3 |
2051 | I guess it’s just been a ruff year. | 1.2857 | 0.06005 | 84 | 64 | 16 | 4 |
2052 | You're fine. How am I? | 1.2857 | 0.05507 | 84 | 62 | 20 | 2 |
2053 | Transference is a bitch. (Or a "hitch, if "bitch not permitted.) | 1.2857 | 0.05906 | 91 | 70 | 16 | 5 |
2054 | What do you mean, I’m in your chair? | 1.2857 | 0.05804 | 77 | 57 | 18 | 2 |
2055 | Whatever happened to Doctor Maus?” | 1.2857 | 0.05802 | 98 | 76 | 16 | 6 |
2056 | I have been having nightmares of seeing cats | 1.2857 | 0.05365 | 105 | 80 | 20 | 5 |
2057 | For once in your nine lives, pay attention to me. | 1.2857 | 0.05230 | 98 | 73 | 22 | 3 |
2058 | I'm not comfortable talking about my felines. | 1.2857 | 0.06793 | 70 | 54 | 12 | 4 |
2059 | It sounds like you're a people pleaser. | 1.2857 | 0.05906 | 91 | 70 | 16 | 5 |
2060 | I’m not supposed to be up on the furniture. I don’t know how I feel about this! | 1.2857 | 0.05477 | 91 | 68 | 20 | 3 |
2061 | Ive always identified as a cat. I’m sick of having to be “on” all the time and be cute on command! I wanna sit on top of an unreachable height like the kitchen cabinets and hide for once! | 1.2857 | 0.05295 | 112 | 86 | 20 | 6 |
2062 | I’m in the dog house | 1.2857 | 0.06110 | 91 | 71 | 14 | 6 |
2063 | I’m tired of being such a people-pleaser | 1.2857 | 0.06110 | 91 | 71 | 14 | 6 |
2064 | I feel lower than a Dachshund." | 1.2845 | 0.05020 | 116 | 88 | 23 | 5 |
2065 | So you're saying deep down they actually do want me to pee on the carpets? | 1.2843 | 0.05808 | 102 | 80 | 15 | 7 |
2066 | I'm man's best friend, but who's MY best friend? | 1.2843 | 0.05808 | 102 | 80 | 15 | 7 |
2067 | Sounds like the psychedelics are working- so you’re saying I’m a cat and you’re a dog? | 1.2843 | 0.05808 | 102 | 80 | 15 | 7 |
2068 | You don't understand, Doc. In your line of work you're not expected to eat cat to succeed. | 1.2843 | 0.06133 | 102 | 82 | 11 | 9 |
2069 | I'm afraid of dying, but of course you wouldn't understand. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
2070 | What do you think your recurring dream of us falling from the sky means? | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
2071 | No, it’s fine. Some of my best friends are cat. | 1.2842 | 0.05325 | 95 | 71 | 21 | 3 |
2072 | Honestly, I wish I could be like you and just not care | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
2073 | We are going to have to work on more professional ways of marking your territory. | 1.2841 | 0.06036 | 88 | 68 | 15 | 5 |
2074 | That is, I am a cat in a dog's body. | 1.2841 | 0.05587 | 88 | 66 | 19 | 3 |
2075 | I've been chasing after the wrong things all my life. | 1.2841 | 0.05348 | 88 | 65 | 21 | 2 |
2076 | Just humor them into subservience | 1.2841 | 0.05816 | 88 | 67 | 17 | 4 |
2077 | I feel I'm pretty normal. I have one passion - the New Yorker cartoon and all their talking animals. Maybe it's getting to me. I don't know. | 1.2840 | 0.06145 | 81 | 62 | 15 | 4 |
2078 | I’ve always had this feeling that I don’t fit in…since I was a kitten, really. | 1.2840 | 0.06145 | 81 | 62 | 15 | 4 |
2079 | It's a dog-eat-dog world and I feel like I'm lunch. | 1.2840 | 0.06391 | 81 | 63 | 13 | 5 |
2080 | I think you should look less eager... try having more mystery. | 1.2840 | 0.06145 | 81 | 62 | 15 | 4 |
2081 | We are both alumni of the same Humane Society, yet I don’t understand why I have a “Master”and you have “Staff”. | 1.2840 | 0.06628 | 81 | 64 | 11 | 6 |
2082 | I can’t seem to overcome this desire to bite some of my colleagues. | 1.2840 | 0.06391 | 81 | 63 | 13 | 5 |
2083 | That dream where I chase you around the room is back. | 1.2840 | 0.05889 | 81 | 61 | 17 | 3 |
2084 | …and then I ate my own poop. | 1.2840 | 0.06391 | 81 | 63 | 13 | 5 |
2085 | I have nightmares in which I'm being chased by squirrels. | 1.2838 | 0.07075 | 74 | 59 | 9 | 6 |
2086 | If every dog has its day, so far this is the year of the cat. | 1.2838 | 0.06241 | 74 | 56 | 15 | 3 |
2087 | I keep having these dreams. About chasing you around the room! | 1.2838 | 0.06808 | 74 | 58 | 11 | 5 |
2088 | It's a recurrent nightmare -- I'm at the base of a tree, on all fours, howling at a pale, furry tail hanging down from a branch above. | 1.2838 | 0.05616 | 74 | 54 | 19 | 1 |
2089 | At least you’ve got nine lives. | 1.2838 | 0.06241 | 74 | 56 | 15 | 3 |
2090 | And then she said she’s not a dog person | 1.2838 | 0.06531 | 74 | 57 | 13 | 4 |
2091 | Do you have trouble convincing people to take you seriously? | 1.2836 | 0.06991 | 67 | 52 | 11 | 4 |
2092 | So I just told her, “Get over it. I’m a dog…I’m supposed to wag my tail!” | 1.2836 | 0.06311 | 67 | 50 | 15 | 2 |
2093 | I just worry that I’m too much of a people pleaser. | 1.2828 | 0.05568 | 99 | 76 | 18 | 5 |
2094 | The joy, the guilt, the expectation, the worry—I’m always just such a ball of emotions. Ball! Where’s my ball? | 1.2828 | 0.05750 | 99 | 77 | 16 | 6 |
2095 | But I can’t just ignore him. | 1.2826 | 0.05642 | 92 | 70 | 18 | 4 |
2096 | And then, everyone in the room is calling me a ‘bad boy’ for pooping on the carpet, and then I wake up. | 1.2826 | 0.05850 | 92 | 71 | 16 | 5 |
2097 | I just don’t know why my bite isn’t as bad as my bark. | 1.2826 | 0.05850 | 92 | 71 | 16 | 5 |
2098 | It was horrible doc. After my constant whimpering and whining she told me to snap out of it and to quit acting like a pussy. | 1.2826 | 0.06051 | 92 | 72 | 14 | 6 |
2099 | I…I’ve developed a taste for cat food. I’m so ashamed! | 1.2826 | 0.05202 | 92 | 68 | 22 | 2 |
2100 | in my world, we only live once !! | 1.2826 | 0.05850 | 92 | 71 | 16 | 5 |
2101 | 'Can't stand this new puppy in the house! everybody thinks HE's so cut...but what about me ?? | 1.2826 | 0.05850 | 92 | 71 | 16 | 5 |
2102 | If I chase you, am I cured? | 1.2824 | 0.05944 | 85 | 65 | 16 | 4 |
2103 | But do you really think its possible to go through life never needing the approval of others? | 1.2824 | 0.05944 | 85 | 65 | 16 | 4 |
2104 | Um...woof? | 1.2824 | 0.06613 | 85 | 68 | 10 | 7 |
2105 | It's the "nothing but" part that hounds me. | 1.2824 | 0.05703 | 85 | 64 | 18 | 3 |
2106 | But, how does one, ‘Pay attention to your own needs not your master’s’? | 1.2824 | 0.06175 | 85 | 66 | 14 | 5 |
2107 | And is Squirrel in the room with us now? | 1.2824 | 0.06613 | 85 | 68 | 10 | 7 |
2108 | No, No… It’s not that… I’m just afraid one day I’ll act on it. Go for your throat. THEN where will I go!? | 1.2824 | 0.05703 | 85 | 64 | 18 | 3 |
2109 | I dreamt my mother was a cat, my father...even you, doctor... | 1.2821 | 0.04982 | 117 | 89 | 23 | 5 |
2110 | He throws the ball. I fetch. You're saying it doesn't have to be that way? | 1.2821 | 0.05128 | 117 | 90 | 21 | 6 |
2111 | Lie in a paper bag. Lie in a paper bag." Is that your solution to everything | 1.2821 | 0.06803 | 78 | 62 | 10 | 6 |
2112 | Loosen your tie and tell me your doggie-woes. | 1.2821 | 0.06554 | 78 | 61 | 12 | 5 |
2113 | I dreamed we changed places, but I still did all the talking. | 1.2821 | 0.05741 | 78 | 58 | 18 | 2 |
2114 | I'm just not sure chasing mailmen is really how I want to spend the rest of my life. | 1.2821 | 0.05741 | 78 | 58 | 18 | 2 |
2115 | I work like a dog all day, doc... and for what? Dry kibble in a bowl? Y'know, they could throw me a bone sometimes! | 1.2821 | 0.05741 | 78 | 58 | 18 | 2 |
2116 | I dreamed that I was walking to my office and suddenly realized I was naked. | 1.2821 | 0.06294 | 78 | 60 | 14 | 4 |
2117 | Well, this is humiliating! | 1.2821 | 0.05443 | 78 | 57 | 20 | 1 |
2118 | And in the dream, I’m being chased by the bone. | 1.2821 | 0.06024 | 78 | 59 | 16 | 3 |
2119 | The problem is you care too much. | 1.2818 | 0.05500 | 110 | 86 | 17 | 7 |
2120 | Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to have MY day. | 1.2817 | 0.06401 | 71 | 54 | 14 | 3 |
2121 | Even my wife thinks I’m a pussy. | 1.2817 | 0.07002 | 71 | 56 | 10 | 5 |
2122 | Life was great until my owners got a cat. | 1.2817 | 0.06401 | 71 | 54 | 14 | 3 |
2123 | I feel that I push too many relationships to metaphor. | 1.2817 | 0.06401 | 71 | 54 | 14 | 3 |
2124 | Have you tried existing in the liminal space between outside and inside? | 1.2817 | 0.07002 | 71 | 56 | 10 | 5 |
2125 | I always dreamed of having whiskers. | 1.2816 | 0.05054 | 103 | 77 | 23 | 3 |
2126 | Then this cat entered the room. I only did what was expected. | 1.2816 | 0.05239 | 103 | 78 | 21 | 4 |
2127 | If having a Pavlovian response involves a treat, I just don’t see the problem. | 1.2816 | 0.05418 | 103 | 79 | 19 | 5 |
2128 | I thought I had tried everything, and then I remembered that you guys specialize in past lives. | 1.2816 | 0.05590 | 103 | 80 | 17 | 6 |
2129 | I’ve been fighting the urge to run into traffic. | 1.2812 | 0.05066 | 96 | 71 | 23 | 2 |
2130 | We were crazy in love. My parents insisted, "No felines, only canines." We should have eloped, but ....... | 1.2812 | 0.05482 | 96 | 73 | 19 | 4 |
2131 | Well, I think cat whiskers have always been my trigger | 1.2812 | 0.05278 | 96 | 72 | 21 | 3 |
2132 | After four years of smelling rear ends and I still cannot find a match. | 1.2812 | 0.05278 | 96 | 72 | 21 | 3 |
2133 | I feel like I’m going in squirrels chasing these circles | 1.2812 | 0.05678 | 96 | 74 | 17 | 5 |
2134 | I don't want to be his best friend anymore. | 1.2809 | 0.05533 | 89 | 67 | 19 | 3 |
2135 | I resent being stereotyped, but what would you know about that? | 1.2809 | 0.05977 | 89 | 69 | 15 | 5 |
2136 | So it was announced that I got this big promotion, and one of my colleagues says, "do you want to celebrate by chasing squirrels" ? And I say "who do you think I am" ? Then it occurs to me I really don't know anymore... | 1.2809 | 0.05759 | 89 | 68 | 17 | 4 |
2137 | I don't know, Doc. Sometimes I just feel like my tail's wagging ME. | 1.2809 | 0.05977 | 89 | 69 | 15 | 5 |
2138 | I know, doc, its just that I'm so codependent! | 1.2809 | 0.05051 | 89 | 65 | 23 | 1 |
2139 | Have you ever felt like not wanting to retrieve anymore? | 1.2809 | 0.05533 | 89 | 67 | 19 | 3 |
2140 | I feel like I am always chasing my tail. You know what I mean? | 1.2809 | 0.05759 | 89 | 68 | 17 | 4 |
2141 | My bark is worse than my bite | 1.2809 | 0.05977 | 89 | 69 | 15 | 5 |
2142 | I guess I just care too much. | 1.2809 | 0.05533 | 89 | 67 | 19 | 3 |
2143 | If the grass is hot, have you tried going potty in a litter box? | 1.2807 | 0.05503 | 114 | 90 | 16 | 8 |
2144 | Now don't go scratch my nose if I say this... | 1.2805 | 0.05827 | 82 | 62 | 17 | 3 |
2145 | I fear I'm going to lose my job with the studio. I can't come up with a good chase scene. | 1.2805 | 0.06322 | 82 | 64 | 13 | 5 |
2146 | Why is it when I get home I’m always in the doghouse? | 1.2805 | 0.06322 | 82 | 64 | 13 | 5 |
2147 | I don't know why it is, they treat me like a dog at work. | 1.2805 | 0.05827 | 82 | 62 | 17 | 3 |
2148 | I thought I was man's best friend, and then he turned me out because his fiancee had two cats? | 1.2805 | 0.06079 | 82 | 63 | 15 | 4 |
2149 | I really would rather chase something..... | 1.2805 | 0.05562 | 82 | 61 | 19 | 2 |
2150 | I wish I could be more like you, and not always need to be pleasing everyone. Plus, I’d love to be able to purr. | 1.2805 | 0.05285 | 82 | 60 | 21 | 1 |
2151 | Wouldn’t this be considered a conflict of interest? | 1.2805 | 0.05827 | 82 | 62 | 17 | 3 |
2152 | It’s still so hard to accept that I’m allowed on the couch. | 1.2805 | 0.06079 | 82 | 63 | 15 | 4 |
2153 | Being loyal isn’t always good | 1.2805 | 0.05562 | 82 | 61 | 19 | 2 |
2154 | What do u mean by strong emotional ties, Doctor? | 1.2805 | 0.05827 | 82 | 62 | 17 | 3 |
2155 | I've tried going to a new park. I got me a new ball, even tried a frisbee. Every morning I look in the mirror and tell myself I'm such a good boy. So why do I still feel empty inside? | 1.2804 | 0.05442 | 107 | 83 | 18 | 6 |
2156 | ....so this time, I finally caught my tail....and then I woke up, and....well....now I can't help but feel that that's it. My life is over. | 1.2800 | 0.05519 | 100 | 77 | 18 | 5 |
2157 | I can't escape this overwhelming feeling of manipulation. | 1.2800 | 0.05869 | 75 | 56 | 17 | 2 |
2158 | ... and then my dad threw the tennis ball over the fence. | 1.2800 | 0.05333 | 100 | 76 | 20 | 4 |
2159 | My name? That’s spelled C E R B E R U S on the corporation stationary | 1.2800 | 0.05519 | 100 | 77 | 18 | 5 |
2160 | I didn't get enough attention as a puppy. | 1.2800 | 0.05700 | 100 | 78 | 16 | 6 |
2161 | What if I called you a cat ? How would you feel? | 1.2800 | 0.05700 | 100 | 78 | 16 | 6 |
2162 | Am I dreaming? | 1.2800 | 0.07488 | 75 | 62 | 5 | 8 |
2163 | My friends tell me you're the expert when it comes to catnip addiction. | 1.2800 | 0.05869 | 75 | 56 | 17 | 2 |
2164 | So tell me about this "leash" thing | 1.2800 | 0.06454 | 75 | 58 | 13 | 4 |
2165 | I have never even met my father, my mother is a bitch, my brother got killed chasing a car and my sister gave birth to six babies out of wedlock. | 1.2800 | 0.05869 | 75 | 56 | 17 | 2 |
2166 | I think it all stems from being the runt of the litter… | 1.2800 | 0.05700 | 100 | 78 | 16 | 6 |
2167 | I can't escape the feeling that my entire personality is just a manufactured representation of my owner's subconcious desires. | 1.2796 | 0.05993 | 93 | 73 | 14 | 6 |
2168 | But they keep telling me to stay OFF the couch! | 1.2796 | 0.05376 | 93 | 70 | 20 | 3 |
2169 | Honestly, I tried, but 'a complete lack of concern for anyone but myself''doesn't seem to work for me. | 1.2796 | 0.05993 | 93 | 73 | 14 | 6 |
2170 | Your mother sounds like a real bitch. | 1.2796 | 0.05993 | 93 | 73 | 14 | 6 |
2171 | Can you help me find the motivation to chase you under that chair? | 1.2796 | 0.05376 | 93 | 70 | 20 | 3 |
2172 | I'm not in touch with my inner cat | 1.2796 | 0.05795 | 93 | 72 | 16 | 5 |
2173 | Is it me or does it smell fishy in here? | 1.2796 | 0.05154 | 93 | 69 | 22 | 2 |
2174 | And how does it make you feel that you have only one life to live? | 1.2796 | 0.05795 | 93 | 72 | 16 | 5 |
2175 | I bring them dead birds, scratch up the sofa, and couldn’t be more aloof - so where’s my laser pointer playtime? | 1.2794 | 0.06231 | 68 | 51 | 15 | 2 |
2176 | I don’t understand why I need the “good boy” affirmation. You obviously don’t. | 1.2793 | 0.05303 | 111 | 86 | 19 | 6 |
2177 | It's right here in the DSM; "Brown Noser Syndrome. But a lot of your people have it. | 1.2793 | 0.04985 | 111 | 84 | 23 | 4 |
2178 | I know it's hard for you to understand, but I'm a people person. | 1.2791 | 0.06111 | 86 | 67 | 14 | 5 |
2179 | That's the part I don't get, doc. My owners are always yelling at the TV saying you're assigned a gender at birth, but they sure had no problem changing mine! | 1.2791 | 0.05883 | 86 | 66 | 16 | 4 |
2180 | Now that I have come out as a dog, I'm conflicted about the whole litter box/fire hydrent issue. | 1.2791 | 0.05646 | 86 | 65 | 18 | 3 |
2181 | I don't expect you to understand, but I think he's giving me the silent treatment. | 1.2791 | 0.05646 | 86 | 65 | 18 | 3 |
2182 | And the whole time everyone is posting about which way dogs would wear pants, no one ever thinks to ask the dogs how they themselves would like to wear them... | 1.2791 | 0.06111 | 86 | 67 | 14 | 5 |
2183 | If I'm being honest, I have trouble trusting even you. | 1.2791 | 0.05398 | 86 | 64 | 20 | 2 |
2184 | He never understood… He’s a good boy too! | 1.2791 | 0.06111 | 86 | 67 | 14 | 5 |
2185 | When I bite the mailman, the mailman is....me? | 1.2788 | 0.05195 | 104 | 79 | 21 | 4 |
2186 | And they call ME a pussy! | 1.2788 | 0.05372 | 104 | 80 | 19 | 5 |
2187 | Yes, I have CATastrophic problems! | 1.2785 | 0.05679 | 79 | 59 | 18 | 2 |
2188 | You’d think by now they’d know who’s their good boy. | 1.2785 | 0.06480 | 79 | 62 | 12 | 5 |
2189 | The dream is always the same: I am in middle of a bunch of strangers, all of whom are staring at me, and I am not wearing any pants. | 1.2785 | 0.06224 | 79 | 61 | 14 | 4 |
2190 | I don't understand, I pay for these sessions but still want to eat you | 1.2785 | 0.05958 | 79 | 60 | 16 | 3 |
2191 | That’s easy for you to say, Doctor, but try as I might I’ve never been able to land on my feet. | 1.2785 | 0.06224 | 79 | 61 | 14 | 4 |
2192 | Doc, I’m SO conflicted. If I go indoors they are very angry and berate me, but outside I’m praised and they collect it in a bag as if it’s a treasured prize! | 1.2785 | 0.06480 | 79 | 62 | 12 | 5 |
2193 | Do I look neurotic? Am I neurotic? Do I act neurotic? Should I be on medication? I can't control my tail. | 1.2785 | 0.05958 | 79 | 60 | 16 | 3 |
2194 | First they came for the dogs…. | 1.2785 | 0.05679 | 79 | 59 | 18 | 2 |
2195 | My owners puts all this pressure on me to speak but when I do, they don’t like what I have to say. | 1.2785 | 0.06480 | 79 | 62 | 12 | 5 |
2196 | I DONT WANT TO BE HIS BEST FRIEND! | 1.2784 | 0.05815 | 97 | 76 | 15 | 6 |
2197 | They say 'good boy' but I know I'm not. | 1.2784 | 0.05433 | 97 | 74 | 19 | 4 |
2198 | All day long I fetch. "Go get the stick! Go find the ball! Where is the bone?" Everywhere I go,Dogs enslaved in endless meaningless object pursuit! Do you have any advice how to handle this,Doc? #MyNewyorkercaptioncontest | 1.2784 | 0.05815 | 97 | 76 | 15 | 6 |
2199 | I’ve had a hard time finding a therapist who understands me. | 1.2784 | 0.05231 | 97 | 73 | 21 | 3 |
2200 | My mom was a bitch. | 1.2778 | 0.06126 | 90 | 71 | 13 | 6 |
2201 | It's a dog eat dog food world out there... | 1.2778 | 0.06126 | 90 | 71 | 13 | 6 |
2202 | In my dream last night I finally caught up with the car… | 1.2778 | 0.06324 | 72 | 55 | 14 | 3 |
2203 | Now tell me about your relationship with your mailman | 1.2778 | 0.06007 | 72 | 54 | 16 | 2 |
2204 | But I was never allowed on the furniture as a pup | 1.2778 | 0.05703 | 90 | 69 | 17 | 4 |
2205 | How can I NOT be a people-pleaser? | 1.2778 | 0.06626 | 72 | 56 | 12 | 4 |
2206 | Have you even seen how many followers Doug the Pug has?! I just thought by 6 years old, I would have accomplished more. | 1.2778 | 0.05480 | 90 | 68 | 19 | 3 |
2207 | And don't even get me started on cats." | 1.2778 | 0.05235 | 108 | 83 | 20 | 5 |
2208 | I don’t understand why they have to dress me up to go for a walk. | 1.2778 | 0.05480 | 90 | 68 | 19 | 3 |
2209 | And how did that make you feel? | 1.2778 | 0.05703 | 90 | 69 | 17 | 4 |
2210 | I recommend a 12-step program for dogs who wear clothing. | 1.2778 | 0.04893 | 108 | 81 | 24 | 3 |
2211 | Let go of the shame, Harold. Most dogs your age wet the bed. And actually, most cats do it on purpose. | 1.2778 | 0.05235 | 108 | 83 | 20 | 5 |
2212 | Why does “playing dead” always spark an existential crisis for me? | 1.2778 | 0.06126 | 90 | 71 | 13 | 6 |
2213 | I am not sure you can understand my cultural background enough to help me. | 1.2778 | 0.05703 | 90 | 69 | 17 | 4 |
2214 | Maybe you could prescribe me something stronger than catnip? | 1.2778 | 0.05918 | 90 | 70 | 15 | 5 |
2215 | It's a dog's life. | 1.2778 | 0.05480 | 90 | 68 | 19 | 3 |
2216 | You say they triple dog-dared you? | 1.2778 | 0.05918 | 90 | 70 | 15 | 5 |
2217 | I just feel bones don’t make me happy anymore | 1.2778 | 0.05247 | 90 | 67 | 21 | 2 |
2218 | And I can tell you about the mouse hole with complete doctor-patient confidentiality? | 1.2772 | 0.05650 | 101 | 79 | 16 | 6 |
2219 | Actually I just came in because it's raining cats and dogs out there. | 1.2772 | 0.05822 | 101 | 80 | 14 | 7 |
2220 | How do you mean, 'Get off the couch!'? | 1.2772 | 0.05288 | 101 | 77 | 20 | 4 |
2221 | Did you just laugh? | 1.2771 | 0.05505 | 83 | 62 | 19 | 2 |
2222 | Sometimes I feel like I'm just chasing my own tail. | 1.2771 | 0.06015 | 83 | 64 | 15 | 4 |
2223 | When they call me "Good boy", do I deserve it? And if I do, will I ever been anything else than a good boy? What about a "Great boy"? | 1.2771 | 0.06255 | 83 | 65 | 13 | 5 |
2224 | So do YOU think I'm prissy and self-absorbed? | 1.2771 | 0.06255 | 83 | 65 | 13 | 5 |
2225 | I came to you because of my unhealthy obsession with my owner | 1.2771 | 0.06015 | 83 | 64 | 15 | 4 |
2226 | It’s depressing when I get home from work and no one is excited to see me. | 1.2771 | 0.05766 | 83 | 63 | 17 | 3 |
2227 | -Imagine me trying to explain this to a human | 1.2771 | 0.05766 | 83 | 63 | 17 | 3 |
2228 | So you are saying belly rub is not your thing ? | 1.2771 | 0.05231 | 83 | 61 | 21 | 1 |
2229 | She keeps saying I need to get in touch with my feline side. | 1.2771 | 0.06485 | 83 | 66 | 11 | 6 |
2230 | Really, why can't we all just get along? | 1.2766 | 0.05108 | 94 | 70 | 22 | 2 |
2231 | So I'm thinking, why should cats get nine lives...no offence intended. | 1.2766 | 0.05741 | 94 | 73 | 16 | 5 |
2232 | I don't quite understand your last meow. | 1.2766 | 0.04879 | 94 | 69 | 24 | 1 |
2233 | I keep fantasizing that somebody’s out to get me. | 1.2766 | 0.05741 | 94 | 73 | 16 | 5 |
2234 | It has been a ruff week. | 1.2766 | 0.05741 | 94 | 73 | 16 | 5 |
2235 | I just don’t think I’ll ever find another pillow to love. | 1.2766 | 0.06126 | 94 | 75 | 12 | 7 |
2236 | When did you start wearing male clothing? | 1.2763 | 0.06379 | 76 | 59 | 13 | 4 |
2237 | I dreamt I was a poodle. | 1.2763 | 0.05803 | 76 | 57 | 17 | 2 |
2238 | I just can't seem to stop the rat race as well as you can. | 1.2763 | 0.06649 | 76 | 60 | 11 | 5 |
2239 | So Doctor, how many more sessions until I’m cured and can start chasing you? | 1.2763 | 0.06098 | 76 | 58 | 15 | 3 |
2240 | I’m just afraid we all really don’t get to go to hea…Nevermind you wouldn’t understand. | 1.2763 | 0.05493 | 76 | 56 | 19 | 1 |
2241 | So I thought maybe they’ll love me more if I learn to purr? | 1.2763 | 0.06649 | 76 | 60 | 11 | 5 |
2242 | And how would a Cat know what its like to be a dog in a dog-eat-dog world." | 1.2759 | 0.05824 | 87 | 67 | 16 | 4 |
2243 | I'm beginning to think that I'll never catch my tail. | 1.2759 | 0.05590 | 87 | 66 | 18 | 3 |
2244 | Your mother being a bitch, how did that make you feel? | 1.2759 | 0.05590 | 87 | 66 | 18 | 3 |
2245 | Wait...that squirrel I've been chasing is really my mother? | 1.2759 | 0.06049 | 87 | 68 | 14 | 5 |
2246 | I like milk bones… | 1.2759 | 0.05824 | 87 | 67 | 16 | 4 |
2247 | I mean am I really a "good boy"? Am I such a good, good boy? | 1.2759 | 0.05824 | 87 | 67 | 16 | 4 |
2248 | I’m jealous that I only have the one life. | 1.2759 | 0.05590 | 87 | 66 | 18 | 3 |
2249 | Every time I open my eyes I see a damn cat. | 1.2759 | 0.06049 | 87 | 68 | 14 | 5 |
2250 | So it's normal to plan the deaths of your owners? | 1.2759 | 0.06049 | 87 | 68 | 14 | 5 |
2251 | I don't know why I behave like an animal. | 1.2755 | 0.05186 | 98 | 74 | 21 | 3 |
2252 | I'm not sure if I'm a good boy or a bad boy. | 1.2755 | 0.04979 | 98 | 73 | 23 | 2 |
2253 | Every time we play fetch, I lose all self-esteem. | 1.2755 | 0.05385 | 98 | 75 | 19 | 4 |
2254 | I keep having the nightmare about becoming a human. | 1.2755 | 0.05762 | 98 | 77 | 15 | 6 |
2255 | So do I make another appointment or just chase you into your office? | 1.2755 | 0.05577 | 98 | 76 | 17 | 5 |
2256 | So do you think a cat scan will determine if it’s just puppy love? | 1.2755 | 0.05762 | 98 | 77 | 15 | 6 |
2257 | I know it's a cliche to blame everything on my mother but she really was a bitch. | 1.2755 | 0.05577 | 98 | 76 | 17 | 5 |
2258 | It’s that simple. I see a tennis ball, and I need to put it in my mouth. | 1.2755 | 0.05186 | 98 | 74 | 21 | 3 |
2259 | How could you possibly understand? | 1.2755 | 0.04979 | 98 | 73 | 23 | 2 |
2260 | We can pick this up again next week. The mouse is here for his 1 o’clock. | 1.2755 | 0.05577 | 98 | 76 | 17 | 5 |
2261 | So you believe you are a dog and that everyone else is a cat? | 1.2755 | 0.05762 | 98 | 77 | 15 | 6 |
2262 | It's like I am seeing cats everywhere. | 1.2755 | 0.05762 | 98 | 77 | 15 | 6 |
2263 | I have this nightmare, cats control everything. | 1.2754 | 0.06811 | 69 | 54 | 11 | 4 |
2264 | So, you're telling me that everything has always been my fault. | 1.2752 | 0.05027 | 109 | 83 | 22 | 4 |
2265 | Your advice to 'be your own best friend' isn't working out for me. | 1.2750 | 0.05329 | 80 | 59 | 20 | 1 |
2266 | But I'm a dog! | 1.2750 | 0.05618 | 80 | 60 | 18 | 2 |
2267 | Being defined as a “Good Boy” just isn’t as fulfilling as it once was. | 1.2750 | 0.05893 | 80 | 61 | 16 | 3 |
2268 | He’s always asking “Who’s a good boy” when I’m the only one in the room. What, am I invisible? | 1.2750 | 0.06156 | 80 | 62 | 14 | 4 |
2269 | I just can't let it go - who would steal my little canary? | 1.2750 | 0.05618 | 80 | 60 | 18 | 2 |
2270 | My last therapist said that if I denied my innate desire to chase cats, it would lead to depression, so . . . Can we run now? | 1.2750 | 0.06156 | 80 | 62 | 14 | 4 |
2271 | Why can't we all just get along? | 1.2750 | 0.06156 | 80 | 62 | 14 | 4 |
2272 | I feel like it's always pouring rain. Do you feel the same? | 1.2750 | 0.06156 | 80 | 62 | 14 | 4 |
2273 | I have fleas. | 1.2750 | 0.06156 | 80 | 62 | 14 | 4 |
2274 | …so I bit it, naturally. Turns out, it was my own tail! She just laughed. | 1.2750 | 0.05893 | 80 | 61 | 16 | 3 |
2275 | These days there might not be a right tree. | 1.2750 | 0.05329 | 80 | 59 | 20 | 1 |
2276 | I guess I was just expecting more outta the dog days, you know? | 1.2750 | 0.05153 | 120 | 94 | 19 | 7 |
2277 | Qualities we don't share? Well, starting with the Scout oath, there's Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Brave ... | 1.2747 | 0.05861 | 91 | 71 | 15 | 5 |
2278 | Help me, I'm living a dog's life. | 1.2747 | 0.05649 | 91 | 70 | 17 | 4 |
2279 | It's always, go fetch this or go fetch that. | 1.2747 | 0.05649 | 91 | 70 | 17 | 4 |
2280 | But am I really a good dog? | 1.2747 | 0.05428 | 91 | 69 | 19 | 3 |
2281 | ...and that's my pet peeve. | 1.2747 | 0.05861 | 91 | 71 | 15 | 5 |
2282 | It all started when my owner got a cat. | 1.2747 | 0.05861 | 91 | 71 | 15 | 5 |
2283 | I came to you because I have a furball fetish. | 1.2745 | 0.05242 | 102 | 78 | 20 | 4 |
2284 | I mean... every dog is supposed to have his day... right? | 1.2745 | 0.05242 | 102 | 78 | 20 | 4 |
2285 | It not about the bones, it's never been about the bones. | 1.2745 | 0.05054 | 102 | 77 | 22 | 3 |
2286 | It's not that I don't like dogs. I just happen to prefer cat tail. | 1.2745 | 0.05424 | 102 | 79 | 18 | 5 |
2287 | My biggest concern is that you can climb trees and I can’t . Why is that ? | 1.2745 | 0.05242 | 102 | 78 | 20 | 4 |
2288 | I dreamt I was a bird... | 1.2745 | 0.05601 | 102 | 80 | 16 | 6 |
2289 | How can I be like you? No begging and no reflexive salivation. | 1.2745 | 0.05424 | 102 | 79 | 18 | 5 |
2290 | Lately, I've just been chasing my tail.... | 1.2742 | 0.07333 | 62 | 49 | 9 | 4 |
2291 | It really is a dog-eat-dog world | 1.2740 | 0.06248 | 73 | 56 | 14 | 3 |
2292 | I see squirrels everywhere | 1.2740 | 0.06546 | 73 | 57 | 12 | 4 |
2293 | And then she attacked me and tried to claw my eyes out. What should I have done? | 1.2738 | 0.05179 | 84 | 62 | 21 | 1 |
2294 | The Labradoodles and Bernedoodles are a big clique at work. They bring their grain free food, fancy orthopedic dog beds, and the lavender scented shampoo smell makes me sneeze. In the olden days it used to be a Golden Retriever and Alpo world..... | 1.2738 | 0.05952 | 84 | 65 | 15 | 4 |
2295 | What bothers me most is she thinks I just lay around and sleep all day while she's gone. | 1.2738 | 0.06189 | 84 | 66 | 13 | 5 |
2296 | Looks like you’re the pussy here | 1.2738 | 0.06189 | 84 | 66 | 13 | 5 |
2297 | ... and then they told me that loyalty, obedience and affection weren't the traits they were looking for. | 1.2738 | 0.05952 | 84 | 65 | 15 | 4 |
2298 | Honestly, I think I’m having the dream again right now. | 1.2738 | 0.06189 | 84 | 66 | 13 | 5 |
2299 | Nothing's wrong-I just like getting to be on a couch. | 1.2738 | 0.06416 | 84 | 67 | 11 | 6 |
2300 | Please, tell me less about that. | 1.2738 | 0.05449 | 84 | 63 | 19 | 2 |
2301 | I'm afraid of monkeypox. | 1.2737 | 0.05279 | 95 | 72 | 20 | 3 |
2302 | 'Twas the dog days of summer.... | 1.2737 | 0.05687 | 95 | 74 | 16 | 5 |
2303 | I had this awful dream,it was raining people. | 1.2737 | 0.06068 | 95 | 76 | 12 | 7 |
2304 | Hmmm. Excuse me did you say were chasing Pussy? | 1.2737 | 0.05881 | 95 | 75 | 14 | 6 |
2305 | I had it good -- back in my previous life when I was a cat. | 1.2737 | 0.05687 | 95 | 74 | 16 | 5 |
2306 | Yes, I know, he feeds me, he takes me for walks. But I don’t think he loves me anymore | 1.2737 | 0.05062 | 95 | 71 | 22 | 2 |
2307 | Your techniques are not working. My wife still says I’m too needy. | 1.2737 | 0.05881 | 95 | 75 | 14 | 6 |
2308 | My owner is transgendering. | 1.2737 | 0.05487 | 95 | 73 | 18 | 4 |
2309 | I keep having these strange dreams where my therapist turns into a cat. | 1.2736 | 0.05110 | 106 | 81 | 21 | 4 |
2310 | I bark a lot, can’t stop licking people, and eat food off their plates. | 1.2736 | 0.05771 | 106 | 85 | 13 | 8 |
2311 | I just get tired of everyone loving me so much. | 1.2736 | 0.04931 | 106 | 80 | 23 | 3 |
2312 | Let's just put it this way: my sex life has not been the cat's meow. | 1.2736 | 0.04552 | 106 | 78 | 27 | 1 |
2313 | Have you tried scratching the furniture? Is quite relaxing... | 1.2736 | 0.05110 | 106 | 81 | 21 | 4 |
2314 | Yes, but you must first learn to be a "good boy" to yourself. | 1.2727 | 0.05535 | 88 | 67 | 18 | 3 |
2315 | My family says I'm too trusting. | 1.2727 | 0.05535 | 88 | 67 | 18 | 3 |
2316 | I think the feelings of guilt began when he first asked me, "Who's a good boy?" | 1.2727 | 0.05294 | 88 | 66 | 20 | 2 |
2317 | Doc you don’t understand what it’s like to go through life constantly chasing your own tail and never catching a break. | 1.2727 | 0.07012 | 66 | 52 | 10 | 4 |
2318 | I'm just not ready for a pet human | 1.2727 | 0.05294 | 88 | 66 | 20 | 2 |
2319 | And one day I just looked in the mirror and decided I had enough of this dog eat dog world. | 1.2727 | 0.05527 | 99 | 77 | 17 | 5 |
2320 | I think you are fine, being antisocial is a normal trait. | 1.2727 | 0.05931 | 66 | 49 | 16 | 1 |
2321 | I just wish I could speak to someone who understood my problems | 1.2727 | 0.05739 | 77 | 58 | 17 | 2 |
2322 | You wouldn’t understand. It’s too much pressure to always be his best friend. | 1.2727 | 0.06029 | 77 | 59 | 15 | 3 |
2323 | I feel I’m too subservient and eager to please. Can you help me with that? | 1.2727 | 0.04936 | 99 | 74 | 23 | 2 |
2324 | Seriously, you just wouldn't get it. | 1.2727 | 0.05535 | 88 | 67 | 18 | 3 |
2325 | All the influencers are humans. | 1.2727 | 0.05988 | 88 | 69 | 14 | 5 |
2326 | It all started with the CAT scan | 1.2727 | 0.06029 | 77 | 59 | 15 | 3 |
2327 | The litter box? | 1.2727 | 0.06029 | 77 | 59 | 15 | 3 |
2328 | '"It's a dog's life'"- Really? What does that even mean?' | 1.2727 | 0.05739 | 77 | 58 | 17 | 2 |
2329 | My boss told me I’m the worst carnival barker he’s ever seen. | 1.2727 | 0.05140 | 99 | 75 | 21 | 3 |
2330 | I believe we're dealing with what we refer to as "runt of the litter" syndrome. | 1.2727 | 0.05294 | 88 | 66 | 20 | 2 |
2331 | Let’s go over”Man’s Best Friend”again.Hmm? | 1.2727 | 0.05294 | 88 | 66 | 20 | 2 |
2332 | ...squirrel! | 1.2727 | 0.06671 | 66 | 51 | 12 | 3 |
2333 | I can’t help but wonder Dr Cat, if we are working at cross purposes? | 1.2727 | 0.05527 | 99 | 77 | 17 | 5 |
2334 | Ok, what would you do if you actually caught the car you were chasing? | 1.2727 | 0.05151 | 110 | 85 | 20 | 5 |
2335 | So, you are the cat’s meow. . .’” | 1.2727 | 0.05151 | 110 | 85 | 20 | 5 |
2336 | well... my mother was a bitch | 1.2727 | 0.06572 | 77 | 61 | 11 | 5 |
2337 | My people have an indoor cat -- and I eat his poop. | 1.2727 | 0.05311 | 110 | 86 | 18 | 6 |
2338 | Did your father also have an issue with cats” | 1.2727 | 0.06572 | 77 | 61 | 11 | 5 |
2339 | They said I was barking mad but in fairness they were walking by outside on the sidewalk. | 1.2727 | 0.05527 | 99 | 77 | 17 | 5 |
2340 | No,I told him he couldn’t turn my dog house into a home office. | 1.2727 | 0.04936 | 99 | 74 | 23 | 2 |
2341 | Why do you think you were barking up the wrong tree? | 1.2727 | 0.06306 | 77 | 60 | 13 | 4 |
2342 | How can I expect a breakthrough in my obsession with death when my therapist looks forward to 9 lives? | 1.2727 | 0.06572 | 77 | 61 | 11 | 5 |
2343 | I'm feeling catatonic at the moment. | 1.2719 | 0.04709 | 114 | 86 | 25 | 3 |
2344 | I keep dreaming that I'm a dog. | 1.2717 | 0.05377 | 92 | 70 | 19 | 3 |
2345 | I feel like the enemy knows all of my secrets | 1.2717 | 0.05804 | 92 | 72 | 15 | 5 |
2346 | I guess I keep coming back because this is the only sofa I can sit n without feeling guilty. | 1.2717 | 0.05377 | 92 | 70 | 19 | 3 |
2347 | It's a dog eat dog world out there -- you wouldn't understand. | 1.2717 | 0.04913 | 92 | 68 | 23 | 1 |
2348 | 'Let this be a good reason for you to not protect them, Mr. Barkk' | 1.2717 | 0.05804 | 92 | 72 | 15 | 5 |
2349 | You could consider being less of a people pleaser. | 1.2717 | 0.05804 | 92 | 72 | 15 | 5 |
2350 | I can't figure out how to deal with my species fluidity | 1.2717 | 0.06007 | 92 | 73 | 13 | 6 |
2351 | Ever since I was a puppy I felt it would be cool to be a cat | 1.2717 | 0.06007 | 92 | 73 | 13 | 6 |
2352 | So, you’re saying they’re still working remotely? | 1.2717 | 0.05377 | 92 | 70 | 19 | 3 |
2353 | I feel like everyone in my life is trying to eat me- except you | 1.2717 | 0.05377 | 92 | 70 | 19 | 3 |
2354 | I think my wife is having an affair. | 1.2716 | 0.06089 | 81 | 63 | 14 | 4 |
2355 | I hate it when they have a “Bring your pet to work day!” | 1.2716 | 0.06089 | 81 | 63 | 14 | 4 |
2356 | They say I'm a good boy, but I don't always believe it. | 1.2716 | 0.06576 | 81 | 65 | 10 | 6 |
2357 | And then she said that,deep down,she's always been a cat person. | 1.2716 | 0.05830 | 81 | 62 | 16 | 3 |
2358 | That's your advice, take catnaps? | 1.2716 | 0.06337 | 81 | 64 | 12 | 5 |
2359 | Why does the thermometer have to go THERE? | 1.2716 | 0.05274 | 81 | 60 | 20 | 1 |
2360 | Work like a dog. Hot diggity dog. Dog days…. It doesn’t stop. | 1.2716 | 0.06089 | 81 | 63 | 14 | 4 |
2361 | I tried your suggestions: pawing at them, ignoring them, but they still expect me to roll over. | 1.2716 | 0.06089 | 81 | 63 | 14 | 4 |
2362 | Sometimes the world is too domesticated for me. | 1.2716 | 0.05830 | 81 | 62 | 16 | 3 |
2363 | Sometimes I wish I could just run around naked without society judging me | 1.2716 | 0.06337 | 81 | 64 | 12 | 5 |
2364 | Doc, some days I wish I were you, so I can has cheezburger. | 1.2714 | 0.06410 | 70 | 54 | 13 | 3 |
2365 | I'm hoping talking like this will ease our species historical dysphoria. | 1.2710 | 0.05240 | 107 | 83 | 19 | 5 |
2366 | So you're saying the root of all my problems is because I never learned to crap in a box? | 1.2708 | 0.06191 | 96 | 78 | 10 | 8 |
2367 | My bite has become worse than my bark. | 1.2708 | 0.05017 | 96 | 72 | 22 | 2 |
2368 | At the office they treat me like a dog. | 1.2708 | 0.05826 | 96 | 76 | 14 | 6 |
2369 | Animal assisted therapy | 1.2708 | 0.05635 | 96 | 75 | 16 | 5 |
2370 | And this week my human signed up for TikTok. When will it stop? | 1.2708 | 0.05231 | 96 | 73 | 20 | 3 |
2371 | I don’t know why I feel the need to bury things. | 1.2708 | 0.05231 | 96 | 73 | 20 | 3 |
2372 | Honestly, I'd be happier if it were cat eat cat out there. | 1.2708 | 0.05017 | 96 | 72 | 22 | 2 |
2373 | I tried to be aloof and ignore them after leaving me home for an hour, but I just couldn't do it. | 1.2708 | 0.05437 | 96 | 74 | 18 | 4 |
2374 | Are you suggesting everything stems from my overdeveloped need to please? | 1.2708 | 0.05635 | 96 | 75 | 16 | 5 |
2375 | I have a sickness of cats chasing me. | 1.2708 | 0.05635 | 96 | 75 | 16 | 5 |
2376 | So is it fair for my wife to believe I've been unfaithful because there is cat litter in our bed? | 1.2708 | 0.05635 | 96 | 75 | 16 | 5 |
2377 | «You must think I’m nothin’ but a hound dog» | 1.2708 | 0.05635 | 96 | 75 | 16 | 5 |
2378 | It really is a dog-eat-dog world out there. | 1.2706 | 0.05648 | 85 | 65 | 17 | 3 |
2379 | I'm afraid you'll never believe that I'm a good boy. | 1.2706 | 0.05394 | 85 | 64 | 19 | 2 |
2380 | No, I loved my mother and father. I just hate my psychiatrist. | 1.2706 | 0.05648 | 85 | 65 | 17 | 3 |
2381 | My nightmares are of me returning as a human. | 1.2706 | 0.06124 | 85 | 67 | 13 | 5 |
2382 | I’m a cat in a dog’s body. | 1.2706 | 0.05891 | 85 | 66 | 15 | 4 |
2383 | Sometimes I just need someone to support me | 1.2706 | 0.06124 | 85 | 67 | 13 | 5 |
2384 | Doc, don't know why I feel more comfortable with you rather than someone of my own species. Can you help me? | 1.2706 | 0.06348 | 85 | 68 | 11 | 6 |
2385 | Everyone around me seems aloof and uncaring. | 1.2706 | 0.06348 | 85 | 68 | 11 | 6 |
2386 | Was that a good or a disapproving purr? | 1.2706 | 0.06348 | 85 | 68 | 11 | 6 |
2387 | A dog is a dog is a dog in his Brooks Brothers tie, shirt, pants and Nike walking shoes." | 1.2706 | 0.05891 | 85 | 66 | 15 | 4 |
2388 | It was hard growing up. I was one of seven and our mom's a bitch. | 1.2706 | 0.06124 | 85 | 67 | 13 | 5 |
2389 | To begin with, I think you should know that I’ve never known who my mother was. | 1.2706 | 0.05648 | 85 | 65 | 17 | 3 |
2390 | Scratching the furniture just doesn’t do it for me, Doc. | 1.2706 | 0.05648 | 85 | 65 | 17 | 3 |
2391 | I need to learn how to get back on my feet. | 1.2703 | 0.05867 | 74 | 56 | 16 | 2 |
2392 | So you DO think I'm barking up the wrong tree? | 1.2703 | 0.06174 | 74 | 57 | 14 | 3 |
2393 | I'm depressed because I only have one life to live...but you wouldn't understand. | 1.2703 | 0.05867 | 74 | 56 | 16 | 2 |
2394 | Where's Wes Anderson | 1.2703 | 0.06174 | 74 | 57 | 14 | 3 |
2395 | These anthropomorphic dogs just drive me nuts. | 1.2703 | 0.06747 | 74 | 59 | 10 | 5 |
2396 | It started when I realized I can't herd cats? | 1.2703 | 0.06467 | 74 | 58 | 12 | 4 |
2397 | The only appreciation I get, for all my efforts, is just a pat on the head and "Good Boy". | 1.2703 | 0.05422 | 111 | 88 | 16 | 7 |
2398 | I don't think you would understand. | 1.2703 | 0.05422 | 111 | 88 | 16 | 7 |
2399 | So Dr. Katz, can you tell me why I'm so doggone depressed? | 1.2703 | 0.06467 | 74 | 58 | 12 | 4 |
2400 | I've been having a ruff time; you told me things would be purrfect. | 1.2703 | 0.06174 | 74 | 57 | 14 | 3 |
2401 | I want to learn how to be more relaxed. | 1.2703 | 0.05867 | 74 | 56 | 16 | 2 |
2402 | Some days, I would rather just play dead. | 1.2700 | 0.05478 | 100 | 78 | 17 | 5 |
2403 | I think I’ve been catfished. | 1.2700 | 0.05835 | 100 | 80 | 13 | 7 |
2404 | Why are you, a cat, giving me, a dog, therapy? | 1.2700 | 0.05835 | 100 | 80 | 13 | 7 |
2405 | My owners put a fire hydrant in the middle of a litter box. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
2406 | I'm having trouble visualizing the mailman naked. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
2407 | I am a friendless man's best friend | 1.2697 | 0.05709 | 89 | 69 | 16 | 4 |
2408 | To tell you the truth, Dr. Schroedinger, I'm not sure whether I should be here or not" | 1.2697 | 0.06140 | 89 | 71 | 12 | 6 |
2409 | How could you lecture me about wasting my life when you are on your fifth with four more to go! | 1.2697 | 0.05709 | 89 | 69 | 16 | 4 |
2410 | I dream about chasing tennis balls and psychiatrists. | 1.2697 | 0.05709 | 89 | 69 | 16 | 4 |
2411 | How many times did I tell you to stop watching FOX news? | 1.2697 | 0.06140 | 89 | 71 | 12 | 6 |
2412 | It's awful Doc. My own father called me a sonofabitch | 1.2692 | 0.06235 | 78 | 61 | 13 | 4 |
2413 | Why do they insist on plastic bags on every walk? | 1.2692 | 0.04970 | 104 | 79 | 22 | 3 |
2414 | Every night I dream that I become a mouse | 1.2692 | 0.05333 | 104 | 81 | 18 | 5 |
2415 | I' embarrassed to admit it, but I'm in love with a cat. Lew Freeman, Monterey, VA lewfreeman@gmail.com | 1.2692 | 0.06235 | 78 | 61 | 13 | 4 |
2416 | I'd like to circle back to your castration complex. | 1.2692 | 0.06496 | 78 | 62 | 11 | 5 |
2417 | If you identify as a dog, you're a dog. | 1.2692 | 0.05962 | 78 | 60 | 15 | 3 |
2418 | they'd throw the ball, but when I go to look, it's not there! they never threw it! I'm starting to have trust issues. | 1.2692 | 0.06235 | 78 | 61 | 13 | 4 |
2419 | Why must I purr to get your attention? | 1.2692 | 0.06235 | 78 | 61 | 13 | 4 |
2420 | Maybe I'd be better off just going through life alone, and not caring. Like you guys. | 1.2692 | 0.05962 | 78 | 60 | 15 | 3 |
2421 | I feel a little guilty talking about the cat in this way to you | 1.2692 | 0.06235 | 78 | 61 | 13 | 4 |
2422 | Will you please stop purring! | 1.2688 | 0.05327 | 93 | 71 | 19 | 3 |
2423 | She swore that she wasn’t having an affair, but this morning I found a fur ball under our bed! | 1.2688 | 0.05327 | 93 | 71 | 19 | 3 |
2424 | Of course I have seasonal depression - it's been raining cats and dogs! | 1.2688 | 0.05749 | 93 | 73 | 15 | 5 |
2425 | My need for praise seems endless. How do you deal with that? | 1.2688 | 0.05749 | 93 | 73 | 15 | 5 |
2426 | And exactly where has being Man's Best Friend gotten you? | 1.2688 | 0.05749 | 93 | 73 | 15 | 5 |
2427 | I've been submissive too long. | 1.2688 | 0.05542 | 93 | 72 | 17 | 4 |
2428 | You can't understand what it's like to have such a bitch of a mother! | 1.2687 | 0.06230 | 67 | 51 | 14 | 2 |
2429 | I'm under so much pressure to man's best friend | 1.2685 | 0.04671 | 108 | 81 | 25 | 2 |
2430 | I hate to be cynical, but really... who IS a good boy? | 1.2683 | 0.05220 | 82 | 61 | 20 | 1 |
2431 | I mean, what really is a "good boy" after all? | 1.2683 | 0.05768 | 82 | 63 | 16 | 3 |
2432 | My wife and I fight like cats and dogs. Excuse the expression. | 1.2683 | 0.05768 | 82 | 63 | 16 | 3 |
2433 | I had that mousy dream again… | 1.2683 | 0.05768 | 82 | 63 | 16 | 3 |
2434 | This is not exactly what I thought the phrase “ reigning” cats and dogs meant . Nice suit by the way. | 1.2683 | 0.05768 | 82 | 63 | 16 | 3 |
2435 | She says "Phhhfffttt!" I say "Woof!" and it's all downhill from there. | 1.2683 | 0.05501 | 82 | 62 | 18 | 2 |
2436 | It's Rough, Rough out there. | 1.2683 | 0.06023 | 82 | 64 | 14 | 4 |
2437 | I'm actually quite fond of you. | 1.2683 | 0.06268 | 82 | 65 | 12 | 5 |
2438 | Do I feel compulsions? Well, I don't...wait...Please. please don't throw that pencil. | 1.2683 | 0.06268 | 82 | 65 | 12 | 5 |
2439 | Somehow this felt easier on Zoom. | 1.2683 | 0.05768 | 82 | 63 | 16 | 3 |
2440 | I’ve got to get a life. | 1.2683 | 0.05768 | 82 | 63 | 16 | 3 |
2441 | I don’t know why, but I hate cats. | 1.2683 | 0.06268 | 82 | 65 | 12 | 5 |
2442 | No offense doc, but I'm happier here because they never let me on the couch at home. | 1.2683 | 0.06023 | 82 | 64 | 14 | 4 |
2443 | To say I dislike all felines is far from the truth. I'm very fond of Cat Stevens. | 1.2683 | 0.06268 | 82 | 65 | 12 | 5 |
2444 | I just feel like I could use an emotional support human for once | 1.2683 | 0.05768 | 82 | 63 | 16 | 3 |
2445 | What do you mean that they are not really allergic?! | 1.2683 | 0.05501 | 82 | 62 | 18 | 2 |
2446 | Can’t believe Tabby got promoted ahead of me! Just know she’s been sleeping on the boss’s lap… | 1.2680 | 0.05388 | 97 | 75 | 18 | 4 |
2447 | I don't get that litter box thing. | 1.2680 | 0.05388 | 97 | 75 | 18 | 4 |
2448 | I feel like I'm nobody's best friend. | 1.2680 | 0.04973 | 97 | 73 | 22 | 2 |
2449 | Woof woof woof woof? Woof woof woof - woof. Woof? WOOF. | 1.2680 | 0.05956 | 97 | 78 | 12 | 7 |
2450 | How can I not be depressed? My mother called me a dog when I was born! | 1.2680 | 0.05584 | 97 | 76 | 16 | 5 |
2451 | Your problem is you need to start thinking like a cat | 1.2679 | 0.05071 | 112 | 87 | 20 | 5 |
2452 | I keep trying to show my human how to poo outside but he still has never gone. I’m worried time is running out. | 1.2679 | 0.05526 | 112 | 90 | 14 | 8 |
2453 | I just feel like a different species”. | 1.2676 | 0.06004 | 71 | 54 | 15 | 2 |
2454 | I felt bad. She looked a little like you. | 1.2676 | 0.06330 | 71 | 55 | 13 | 3 |
2455 | I hate you. Don't leave me! | 1.2676 | 0.07221 | 71 | 58 | 7 | 6 |
2456 | Why are us dogs always expected to work in the service industry..? To be honest doc, I’m not sure I even like people that much. | 1.2676 | 0.05291 | 71 | 52 | 19 | 0 |
2457 | It's just that I identify as a cat. | 1.2674 | 0.05830 | 86 | 67 | 15 | 4 |
2458 | Do you really think you can help me recover my cat-killing instinct? | 1.2674 | 0.05341 | 86 | 65 | 19 | 2 |
2459 | No matter how hard I try, I can't be aloof. | 1.2674 | 0.06060 | 86 | 68 | 13 | 5 |
2460 | I even tried hiding under the bed, just like you said. | 1.2674 | 0.05591 | 86 | 66 | 17 | 3 |
2461 | You know how, like, you *always* have to wait for Master to open the door so you can go out and poop? | 1.2674 | 0.06060 | 86 | 68 | 13 | 5 |
2462 | I didn't mean anything by it—my mother is in fact a female dog. | 1.2674 | 0.05591 | 86 | 66 | 17 | 3 |
2463 | My partner looked it up on the web and told me I suffer from clawstrophobia. | 1.2674 | 0.06060 | 86 | 68 | 13 | 5 |
2464 | I’ve always had trouble finding appropriate role models. | 1.2674 | 0.06060 | 86 | 68 | 13 | 5 |
2465 | Isn’t it about time you started chasing yourself? | 1.2674 | 0.05830 | 86 | 67 | 15 | 4 |
2466 | The thing is... Everyone says I'm a good boy. But I know that I'm not. I think... I think I'm a bad boy, Doc. I think I'm a very bad boy. | 1.2673 | 0.05245 | 101 | 78 | 19 | 4 |
2467 | 'I'd rather a cat and mouse than a dog eat dog world.' | 1.2673 | 0.04852 | 101 | 76 | 23 | 2 |
2468 | I'm sorry, but I have to put it in my notes. You know you're not allowed on the couch. | 1.2673 | 0.05052 | 101 | 77 | 21 | 3 |
2469 | I keep having this really strange nightmare. | 1.2673 | 0.05430 | 101 | 79 | 17 | 5 |
2470 | I had a dream that I was chasing you. | 1.2673 | 0.05052 | 101 | 77 | 21 | 3 |
2471 | I just can’t seem to shake this feline. | 1.2673 | 0.05430 | 101 | 79 | 17 | 5 |
2472 | I got a bone to pick with you Doc. | 1.2672 | 0.05101 | 116 | 91 | 19 | 6 |
2473 | I always feel like the cats are judging me | 1.2667 | 0.06102 | 75 | 58 | 14 | 3 |
2474 | And... and then he whacked me with a rolled up newspaper! | 1.2667 | 0.05653 | 90 | 70 | 16 | 4 |
2475 | I still don't know who's a good boy. | 1.2667 | 0.06391 | 75 | 59 | 12 | 4 |
2476 | Hmm...I'm not sure I understand. Can you elaborate on this thing you call your "need to be liked"? | 1.2667 | 0.05112 | 105 | 81 | 20 | 4 |
2477 | The first step toward healing is acknowledging that your desire to be a people pleaser is an illness. | 1.2667 | 0.05428 | 90 | 69 | 18 | 3 |
2478 | I know I'm an old dog but I really want to learn some new tricks. | 1.2667 | 0.05870 | 90 | 71 | 14 | 5 |
2479 | So, doc. , is felinophilia a common condition? | 1.2667 | 0.05653 | 90 | 70 | 16 | 4 |
2480 | So, you think it might have been another dog that gave me ringworm? | 1.2667 | 0.05428 | 90 | 69 | 18 | 3 |
2481 | My problem is I keep on eating the cat poop. | 1.2667 | 0.07187 | 75 | 62 | 6 | 7 |
2482 | When can I have my tongue back? | 1.2667 | 0.05653 | 90 | 70 | 16 | 4 |
2483 | I dreamed I had nine lives. | 1.2667 | 0.05870 | 90 | 71 | 14 | 5 |
2484 | I try so hard to be obedient, but I just can't shake these urges to upturn garbage cans and chase cars. | 1.2667 | 0.05653 | 90 | 70 | 16 | 4 |
2485 | Normally I’m not allowed on the couch… | 1.2667 | 0.06391 | 75 | 59 | 12 | 4 |
2486 | I can't talk to dogs. | 1.2667 | 0.05653 | 90 | 70 | 16 | 4 |
2487 | Sorry I was late, Doc. It’s raining like, well, us out there. | 1.2667 | 0.06391 | 75 | 59 | 12 | 4 |
2488 | ... They DON'T?? | 1.2667 | 0.05870 | 90 | 71 | 14 | 5 |
2489 | ...and then I heard her tell Fido next door that HE was a good boy! All this time, right under my nose!! | 1.2667 | 0.06932 | 75 | 61 | 8 | 6 |
2490 | So why do you think your mother is a bitch?” | 1.2667 | 0.06102 | 75 | 58 | 14 | 3 |
2491 | No, your fears are not irrational. It is a dog eat dog world out there. | 1.2667 | 0.04929 | 105 | 80 | 22 | 3 |
2492 | Now, what's going on or does the cat have your tongue? | 1.2661 | 0.05628 | 109 | 88 | 13 | 8 |
2493 | Actually,your bite is worse than your bark! | 1.2661 | 0.04988 | 109 | 84 | 21 | 4 |
2494 | One word to describe my addiction Dr. Katz : BACON! | 1.2660 | 0.05278 | 94 | 72 | 19 | 3 |
2495 | I just don't think white collar is my thing, you know? | 1.2660 | 0.05892 | 94 | 75 | 13 | 6 |
2496 | I can’t shake this feeling, doc, that you just don’t like me. | 1.2660 | 0.05695 | 94 | 74 | 15 | 5 |
2497 | When did this all consuming need to please the humans start? | 1.2660 | 0.05278 | 94 | 72 | 19 | 3 |
2498 | …and in the dream I snub my master, and make him beg for my affection. I feel so ashamed. | 1.2658 | 0.05614 | 79 | 60 | 17 | 2 |
2499 | I can’t stop fetching things. | 1.2658 | 0.05614 | 79 | 60 | 17 | 2 |
2500 | I was fired as the Purina spokesman. | 1.2658 | 0.06165 | 79 | 62 | 13 | 4 |
2501 | What if you had only one life, one relatively short, ball-fetching, butt-sniffing life? | 1.2658 | 0.05614 | 79 | 60 | 17 | 2 |
2502 | You tell me I’m anthropomorphic. Is there a cure? | 1.2658 | 0.06165 | 79 | 62 | 13 | 4 |
2503 | My mother hated your mother. | 1.2658 | 0.05896 | 79 | 61 | 15 | 3 |
2504 | Shall we start with my fear of cats? | 1.2656 | 0.07128 | 64 | 51 | 9 | 4 |
2505 | I just feel like you'll never understand my world | 1.2653 | 0.05340 | 98 | 76 | 18 | 4 |
2506 | I no longer trust other dogs. | 1.2653 | 0.05340 | 98 | 76 | 18 | 4 |
2507 | I am not sure this is the right place to delve into my inferiority complex. | 1.2653 | 0.05139 | 98 | 75 | 20 | 3 |
2508 | I feel like you’re always trying to put me in a box. | 1.2653 | 0.05901 | 98 | 79 | 12 | 7 |
2509 | Okay, but, the British called the bank BARKlays. | 1.2653 | 0.05340 | 98 | 76 | 18 | 4 |
2510 | Ah yes, tell me more about this ‘rat race.’ | 1.2653 | 0.05340 | 98 | 76 | 18 | 4 |
2511 | Do you ever wonder if you're giving too much love? | 1.2651 | 0.05707 | 83 | 64 | 16 | 3 |
2512 | I feel like I've been lying here for seven hours. | 1.2651 | 0.06201 | 83 | 66 | 12 | 5 |
2513 | If the gang finds out I've been talking to a female, they'll rip my throat out. | 1.2651 | 0.05444 | 83 | 63 | 18 | 2 |
2514 | I feel like everyone just wants to take a swipe at me. | 1.2651 | 0.05959 | 83 | 65 | 14 | 4 |
2515 | Fido never felt right. Maybe, a Tiger or Felix is a better fit. | 1.2651 | 0.04874 | 83 | 61 | 22 | 0 |
2516 | Just once I’d like to be the chasee. | 1.2651 | 0.05959 | 83 | 65 | 14 | 4 |
2517 | Squirrel, squirrel, bone, squirrel, squirrels. | 1.2651 | 0.06201 | 83 | 66 | 12 | 5 |
2518 | Tell me about your Rescue Mom. | 1.2651 | 0.05707 | 83 | 64 | 16 | 3 |
2519 | This session has been pretty catastrophic. | 1.2651 | 0.05707 | 83 | 64 | 16 | 3 |
2520 | when you stop people pleasing, you can become cat | 1.2651 | 0.05959 | 83 | 65 | 14 | 4 |
2521 | It makes talking to you so much easier, now that I can get on the couch! | 1.2647 | 0.06498 | 68 | 53 | 12 | 3 |
2522 | I can't put myself in your shoes. | 1.2647 | 0.05200 | 102 | 79 | 19 | 4 |
2523 | Blah blah blah | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
2524 | Sometimes it seems like the pharmaceutical companies are funding studies to make common differences in how people’s brains work seem like disabilities and illnesses that need their expensive drugs to manage. Also, I think I have a dog head. | 1.2644 | 0.05998 | 87 | 69 | 13 | 5 |
2525 | Gosh, I never thought about NOT chasing cats. | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
2526 | My father? We haven't talked since I told him I'm living with a squirrel. | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
2527 | I see a car go by and I just bolt… It’s like catnip to me. | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
2528 | The Fat Cats won't play ball. | 1.2644 | 0.05998 | 87 | 69 | 13 | 5 |
2529 | Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against cats, you know? | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
2530 | I don’t mean to wag my tail. It just happens. | 1.2644 | 0.05288 | 87 | 66 | 19 | 2 |
2531 | Truth be told, only when I talk to you do I sense what I’m chasing after. | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
2532 | Maybe it's the guilt about Whiskers but now everyone looks like a cat. | 1.2642 | 0.05735 | 106 | 86 | 12 | 8 |
2533 | It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, you wouldn't understand" Laurie Dickstein-Fischer, Needham, M | 1.2642 | 0.05069 | 106 | 82 | 20 | 4 |
2534 | I obsess that you are catty | 1.2639 | 0.06850 | 72 | 58 | 9 | 5 |
2535 | Have you tried not being a bitch about it? | 1.2639 | 0.06850 | 72 | 58 | 9 | 5 |
2536 | So... I'm supposed to just hold it? | 1.2639 | 0.06850 | 72 | 58 | 9 | 5 |
2537 | That was a catty remark, Doctor! There's no need to use foul language in describing my mother! | 1.2639 | 0.06558 | 72 | 57 | 11 | 4 |
2538 | I said sit, not lay down | 1.2639 | 0.06558 | 72 | 57 | 11 | 4 |
2539 | I think you care too much about what your owner thinks of you. | 1.2639 | 0.05932 | 72 | 55 | 15 | 2 |
2540 | Everything’s delivered these days! I’m only one dog! How can bark at all these threats to my family?! | 1.2639 | 0.06253 | 72 | 56 | 13 | 3 |
2541 | As a trans dog,I long to be a cat. | 1.2637 | 0.05376 | 91 | 70 | 18 | 3 |
2542 | I've never understood why the litter box was off limits and I was forced to go outside. | 1.2637 | 0.05599 | 91 | 71 | 16 | 4 |
2543 | I’m afraid I’ll never catch my tail. | 1.2637 | 0.05599 | 91 | 71 | 16 | 4 |
2544 | I’ll you Willy, this “recession” is hitting our treats. | 1.2637 | 0.05813 | 91 | 72 | 14 | 5 |
2545 | Everyone expects me to be a good boy and act responsible but I'm tired of chasing the things they throw at me | 1.2637 | 0.06218 | 91 | 74 | 10 | 7 |
2546 | Dr. I can’t remember where I buried my life’s savings! | 1.2637 | 0.06019 | 91 | 73 | 12 | 6 |
2547 | So you slept in your office | 1.2637 | 0.05376 | 91 | 70 | 18 | 3 |
2548 | Have you tried knocking it off the counter? | 1.2637 | 0.05599 | 91 | 71 | 16 | 4 |
2549 | Every day’s beginning to feel like just another day working for the man. | 1.2637 | 0.05599 | 91 | 71 | 16 | 4 |
2550 | I keep having dreams where both of us are falling from the sky. | 1.2632 | 0.06588 | 76 | 61 | 10 | 5 |
2551 | Categorically, I think you are being too dogmatic. | 1.2632 | 0.06316 | 76 | 60 | 12 | 4 |
2552 | If I bit off your mom’s tail would that be an Oedipus complex? | 1.2632 | 0.05733 | 76 | 58 | 16 | 2 |
2553 | I think I've made some progress. Being allowed up on the couch is a big step for me. | 1.2632 | 0.05733 | 76 | 58 | 16 | 2 |
2554 | I can't help it. But I just love cats | 1.2632 | 0.06032 | 76 | 59 | 14 | 3 |
2555 | I hate the rat race, but I love the treats. | 1.2632 | 0.06316 | 76 | 60 | 12 | 4 |
2556 | So, how long have been feeling like a dog | 1.2632 | 0.05229 | 95 | 73 | 19 | 3 |
2557 | Have you thought about why you are projecting all of your anger and hostility toward me? | 1.2632 | 0.05837 | 95 | 76 | 13 | 6 |
2558 | I still can't believe I missed out on dogecoin | 1.2632 | 0.06849 | 76 | 62 | 8 | 6 |
2559 | I was obviously happy to see you, but you didn't seem happy to see me. | 1.2626 | 0.05292 | 99 | 77 | 18 | 4 |
2560 | It’s not that I hate cats, it’s more of an avenue of irreconcilabililty I find myself on whenever I’m confronted by one; present company accepted of course. | 1.2626 | 0.05668 | 99 | 79 | 14 | 6 |
2561 | I have dreams of chasing you up a tree. What do you think that means? | 1.2626 | 0.05094 | 99 | 76 | 20 | 3 |
2562 | You ARE a good boy | 1.2626 | 0.05483 | 99 | 78 | 16 | 5 |
2563 | You wouldn't gaslight me, would you, doc? | 1.2625 | 0.06350 | 80 | 64 | 11 | 5 |
2564 | This session let’s work on your repressed love for felines? | 1.2625 | 0.06096 | 80 | 63 | 13 | 4 |
2565 | Does being on the couch mean I'm a 'bad dog' | 1.2625 | 0.05553 | 80 | 61 | 17 | 2 |
2566 | Sometimes I think we’ve lost our humanity. | 1.2625 | 0.05831 | 80 | 62 | 15 | 3 |
2567 | I'll be honest here, and then I sniffed her butt. | 1.2625 | 0.06096 | 80 | 63 | 13 | 4 |
2568 | Then I was told dogs were not allowed in medical school. | 1.2625 | 0.06831 | 80 | 66 | 7 | 7 |
2569 | Trans-fur-ence, you think? | 1.2625 | 0.06350 | 80 | 64 | 11 | 5 |
2570 | When I feel insecure, I chase. | 1.2625 | 0.06096 | 80 | 63 | 13 | 4 |
2571 | My mother was literally a bitch. | 1.2625 | 0.06096 | 80 | 63 | 13 | 4 |
2572 | Man’s best friend, they said. You don’t know what it’s like to be every man’s best friend. Every best man’s friend. So many men… | 1.2625 | 0.06350 | 80 | 64 | 11 | 5 |
2573 | Since Trump it really is a dog eat dog world! | 1.2623 | 0.06974 | 61 | 48 | 10 | 3 |
2574 | Yes, but that's 14 years in dog years. | 1.2621 | 0.05512 | 103 | 82 | 15 | 6 |
2575 | So… tell me why you don’t like me. | 1.2621 | 0.05682 | 103 | 83 | 13 | 7 |
2576 | Woof woof woof | 1.2619 | 0.05896 | 84 | 66 | 14 | 4 |
2577 | Am I really a "good boy?" If I were, they wouldn't keep asking, right? | 1.2619 | 0.05115 | 84 | 63 | 20 | 1 |
2578 | I’m concerned about the inevitable transference | 1.2619 | 0.05648 | 84 | 65 | 16 | 3 |
2579 | Why can't I pee inside like everyone else? It's not fair. | 1.2619 | 0.05648 | 84 | 65 | 16 | 3 |
2580 | But what if it's NOT dog eat dog out there? | 1.2619 | 0.05115 | 84 | 63 | 20 | 1 |
2581 | I feel like I’m always chasing after something, when it’s right in front of me. | 1.2619 | 0.05388 | 84 | 64 | 18 | 2 |
2582 | The cat's got my tongue. | 1.2619 | 0.06135 | 84 | 67 | 12 | 5 |
2583 | Perhaps if you showed me how to purr... | 1.2619 | 0.05648 | 84 | 65 | 16 | 3 |
2584 | This may sound strange but everyone is starting to look like cats. | 1.2619 | 0.05388 | 84 | 64 | 18 | 2 |
2585 | The catnip just isn’t working for me. | 1.2619 | 0.06135 | 84 | 67 | 12 | 5 |
2586 | You've probably already been analyzing me for years. | 1.2619 | 0.05115 | 84 | 63 | 20 | 1 |
2587 | I know you were highly recommended, but I just don't think we are a good match. | 1.2619 | 0.05648 | 84 | 65 | 16 | 3 |
2588 | How can you possibly understand, you've never had to play "fetch"? | 1.2619 | 0.05648 | 84 | 65 | 16 | 3 |
2589 | I have this thing with cats… | 1.2619 | 0.06135 | 84 | 67 | 12 | 5 |
2590 | I try to be loyal, but I still can't stop chasing cats. No offense intended" | 1.2619 | 0.05648 | 84 | 65 | 16 | 3 |
2591 | I'm certified hypoallergenic. | 1.2617 | 0.05028 | 107 | 83 | 20 | 4 |
2592 | ...and then i dreamt I was wearing the cat's pajamas, but maybe that means I think I AM the cat's pajamas? | 1.2615 | 0.06308 | 65 | 50 | 13 | 2 |
2593 | Balls of string.Balls of string. Balls of string. Balls of string. | 1.2614 | 0.06153 | 88 | 71 | 11 | 6 |
2594 | i had this weird dream that it was raining, and all of us were falling from the sky! | 1.2614 | 0.05480 | 88 | 68 | 17 | 3 |
2595 | I am not sure you have the right qualifications to help me. | 1.2614 | 0.05236 | 88 | 67 | 19 | 2 |
2596 | I have this terrible urge to chase you around the office, keep you hanging from the light fixture and then eat your lunch." | 1.2614 | 0.05713 | 88 | 69 | 15 | 4 |
2597 | Are you going to share your diagnosis, or has the cat got your tongue.” | 1.2614 | 0.05937 | 88 | 70 | 13 | 5 |
2598 | Do you think you would have succeeded in a cat-eat-cat world? | 1.2614 | 0.05236 | 88 | 67 | 19 | 2 |
2599 | I don’t know, Doc. Maybe I am barking up the wrong tree.” | 1.2614 | 0.05480 | 88 | 68 | 17 | 3 |
2600 | Let’s start with that bitch mother of yours. | 1.2614 | 0.06564 | 88 | 73 | 7 | 8 |
2601 | I don’t know, seems like most days I am just chasing my tail. | 1.2614 | 0.05480 | 88 | 68 | 17 | 3 |
2602 | - wuff wuff wuff wuff wuff wuff wuff wuff wuff wuff wuff - meow | 1.2613 | 0.05232 | 111 | 88 | 17 | 6 |
2603 | It would help if you let me chase you. | 1.2609 | 0.06073 | 69 | 53 | 14 | 2 |
2604 | And I have these crazy dreams about an alternate universe,where those dumb humans are in charge ... | 1.2609 | 0.05756 | 92 | 73 | 14 | 5 |
2605 | It's just so exhausting. With global warming, the Dog Day's of summer are just so much longer. | 1.2609 | 0.05325 | 92 | 71 | 18 | 3 |
2606 | I care too much about people. Can you help me?" | 1.2609 | 0.05960 | 92 | 74 | 12 | 6 |
2607 | Be an individual!" they say. But at the end of the day, I just want to follow the pack | 1.2609 | 0.05325 | 92 | 71 | 18 | 3 |
2608 | I'm not sure if I'm a dog person or cat person. | 1.2609 | 0.05545 | 92 | 72 | 16 | 4 |
2609 | Along with your given name, Felix, as well as your pathetic boot-licker existence, it is easy to explain those recurring dreams of feline independence. | 1.2609 | 0.05756 | 92 | 73 | 14 | 5 |
2610 | No, I really am a cat. You have genus dysphoria. | 1.2609 | 0.04954 | 115 | 90 | 20 | 5 |
2611 | You suggested Viagra. still, she left me for a Chihuahua | 1.2609 | 0.05325 | 92 | 71 | 18 | 3 |
2612 | If I have to listen to one more canine whimper about the car that got away… | 1.2609 | 0.05545 | 92 | 72 | 16 | 4 |
2613 | It really begs the question: who is wagging whose tail here? | 1.2609 | 0.06414 | 69 | 54 | 12 | 3 |
2614 | But that’s just it Doctor, I don’t have 8 more lives to live if this one doesn’t work out. | 1.2604 | 0.05389 | 96 | 75 | 17 | 4 |
2615 | The poor little creature. | 1.2604 | 0.05782 | 96 | 77 | 13 | 6 |
2616 | And then I realized that I may own every fire hydrant on the block,but you can’t pee on happiness. | 1.2604 | 0.04966 | 96 | 73 | 21 | 2 |
2617 | Catnip sounds so good right now. | 1.2604 | 0.05182 | 96 | 74 | 19 | 3 |
2618 | I usually recommend something shiny in these situations, but for you I think we should try something with some squeak to it. | 1.2604 | 0.05782 | 96 | 77 | 13 | 6 |
2619 | It's a dog-eat-dog world! | 1.2603 | 0.06177 | 73 | 57 | 13 | 3 |
2620 | I never thought a Cat would understand me! | 1.2603 | 0.05861 | 73 | 56 | 15 | 2 |
2621 | I have a recurring feeling that I am no longer man's best friend. | 1.2603 | 0.05861 | 73 | 56 | 15 | 2 |
2622 | I’m just having a hard time trusting those who say they want to help me | 1.2603 | 0.05861 | 73 | 56 | 15 | 2 |
2623 | I think I'm too much of a people pleaser. | 1.2603 | 0.06177 | 73 | 57 | 13 | 3 |
2624 | Repeat after me: ‘Disobey, turn the table.’ They’ll learn, my good boy. | 1.2603 | 0.06177 | 73 | 57 | 13 | 3 |
2625 | Dr Felix, I feel like a dog sometimes. Every time I get up on the couch my owner says, "Get down." | 1.2600 | 0.05049 | 100 | 77 | 20 | 3 |
2626 | 'Ok, just say: "You're a good boy!" over and over, until the end of his hour.' | 1.2600 | 0.05435 | 100 | 79 | 16 | 5 |
2627 | It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear. | 1.2600 | 0.05049 | 100 | 77 | 20 | 3 |
2628 | The thrill of chasing is gone. | 1.2600 | 0.05049 | 100 | 77 | 20 | 3 |
2629 | ‘I can’t stop thinking of you as my alter ego’ | 1.2600 | 0.05435 | 100 | 79 | 16 | 5 |
2630 | They just can't accept me as trans-cat-trans-human. | 1.2597 | 0.05963 | 77 | 60 | 14 | 3 |
2631 | Maybe this was a mistake. I don't know what "Meow" means. | 1.2597 | 0.05963 | 77 | 60 | 14 | 3 |
2632 | You're right, Doc. Just went through the motions - obedience school, Best in Show - but it wasn't me. Not really. I'm tired of pretending, keeping it all inside. I just want my Me Time - do what I want for a change. What's wrong with that? | 1.2597 | 0.06511 | 77 | 62 | 10 | 5 |
2633 | I'm just tired of being a good boy you know? | 1.2597 | 0.06243 | 77 | 61 | 12 | 4 |
2634 | Excellent! You're no longer digging up the past | 1.2597 | 0.06511 | 77 | 62 | 10 | 5 |
2635 | I’m starting to suspect that you don’t understand where I’m coming from | 1.2597 | 0.05963 | 77 | 60 | 14 | 3 |
2636 | I know you've heard it a million times. My mother was a bitch. | 1.2596 | 0.05465 | 104 | 83 | 15 | 6 |
2637 | A Catscan!!!! Durrr ok. | 1.2593 | 0.06029 | 81 | 64 | 13 | 4 |
2638 | Sometimes I feel o give my affection too freely | 1.2593 | 0.05205 | 81 | 61 | 19 | 1 |
2639 | Dreams of mice, desire for catnip, tendency to claw at furniture, Hmmm - all normal behaviors. | 1.2593 | 0.06029 | 81 | 64 | 13 | 4 |
2640 | I felt I needed to get in touch with my felines. | 1.2593 | 0.05768 | 81 | 63 | 15 | 3 |
2641 | Outwardly I’m a male, but inwardly I’m a bitch. | 1.2593 | 0.05768 | 81 | 63 | 15 | 3 |
2642 | I am not in denial. I've just been barking up the wrong tree. | 1.2593 | 0.06280 | 81 | 65 | 11 | 5 |
2643 | Doctor, why does my bark not chase away the neighbor's cat? | 1.2593 | 0.05768 | 81 | 63 | 15 | 3 |
2644 | I’m confused. Am I a dog with a man’s body or a man with a dog’s head? | 1.2593 | 0.06029 | 81 | 64 | 13 | 4 |
2645 | I really didn’t think you would see me Doc. | 1.2593 | 0.05493 | 81 | 62 | 17 | 2 |
2646 | It's just...I mean, you never hear, "It's a cat eat cat world", ya know?" | 1.2593 | 0.05483 | 108 | 87 | 14 | 7 |
2647 | For my ‘Oedipuss complex, you’re highly recommended! | 1.2588 | 0.06070 | 85 | 68 | 12 | 5 |
2648 | My shoes are too tight! | 1.2588 | 0.05333 | 85 | 65 | 18 | 2 |
2649 | So you are suggesting, just act totally disinterested until they get close then swat at them? | 1.2588 | 0.05589 | 85 | 66 | 16 | 3 |
2650 | I think like a dog and I look like a dog , yet I find myself strangely attracted to you . I clearly need help | 1.2588 | 0.05063 | 85 | 64 | 20 | 1 |
2651 | All they ask me to do at work is "fetch, sit and rollover"! | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
2652 | ….And why do you think you are feeling emasculated just now? | 1.2588 | 0.05333 | 85 | 65 | 18 | 2 |
2653 | But I don't want to treat my owner as an underling. I'm happy just loving him unconditionally. | 1.2588 | 0.06070 | 85 | 68 | 12 | 5 |
2654 | I saw Feline Rescue Center and thought I was going to get to see a leopard not a therapist. | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
2655 | I'm boring you, aren't I? | 1.2588 | 0.05589 | 85 | 66 | 16 | 3 |
2656 | I’d feel pretty demeaned too if they kept calling me “good boy.” | 1.2588 | 0.05333 | 85 | 65 | 18 | 2 |
2657 | Oh boy,this is not going to go welll. | 1.2588 | 0.05333 | 85 | 65 | 18 | 2 |
2658 | I think I’m more of a cat person. | 1.2588 | 0.05589 | 85 | 66 | 16 | 3 |
2659 | I'm just tired of the dog eat dog world out there | 1.2588 | 0.05589 | 85 | 66 | 16 | 3 |
2660 | I'm terribly jealous of those with nine lives. | 1.2584 | 0.05426 | 89 | 69 | 17 | 3 |
2661 | Very interesting,you are starting to meow | 1.2584 | 0.05656 | 89 | 70 | 15 | 4 |
2662 | And then he said, "You're no longer my best friend." | 1.2584 | 0.05426 | 89 | 69 | 17 | 3 |
2663 | The wearing clothes mandate really gets to me. | 1.2584 | 0.05185 | 89 | 68 | 19 | 2 |
2664 | Next session I want to wear the cat mask. | 1.2584 | 0.05878 | 89 | 71 | 13 | 5 |
2665 | I think I'm just curious, but in the dream, I want to meow. | 1.2584 | 0.05426 | 89 | 69 | 17 | 3 |
2666 | You must stop caring about your people. | 1.2584 | 0.05656 | 89 | 70 | 15 | 4 |
2667 | After pleading self-defense in Fluffy’s death, the court ordered me here for psychiatric evaluation. | 1.2584 | 0.05878 | 89 | 71 | 13 | 5 |
2668 | Just a suggestion, don’t be so submissive. No need to sit up and beg. Try being aloof, it works for me. | 1.2584 | 0.05185 | 89 | 68 | 19 | 2 |
2669 | Knocking stuff off the counter didn’t make me feel better. | 1.2581 | 0.05492 | 93 | 73 | 16 | 4 |
2670 | Being a Feline, you might not understand how much my people like to BARK AND BARK LOUD! | 1.2581 | 0.05275 | 93 | 72 | 18 | 3 |
2671 | Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever find out if I’m a good bot | 1.2581 | 0.06874 | 62 | 49 | 10 | 3 |
2672 | Deep down, I think I'm a cat person. | 1.2581 | 0.05603 | 62 | 46 | 16 | 0 |
2673 | This will shock you, but humans don't interest me much. | 1.2581 | 0.05275 | 93 | 72 | 18 | 3 |
2674 | The truth is, I’ve never been much of a dog person. | 1.2581 | 0.05492 | 93 | 73 | 16 | 4 |
2675 | I grew up thinking I was 'man's best friend'. And now...... here I am. | 1.2577 | 0.04698 | 97 | 73 | 23 | 1 |
2676 | Try to relax. Not everyone can be a cool cat. | 1.2577 | 0.04922 | 97 | 74 | 21 | 2 |
2677 | The Businessdoodle airing his pet peeves. | 1.2577 | 0.05538 | 97 | 77 | 15 | 5 |
2678 | My owner adopted a cat and it just stares blankly into space and ignores me. | 1.2577 | 0.05135 | 97 | 75 | 19 | 3 |
2679 | Are you sure it was the cat’s fault? | 1.2577 | 0.05538 | 97 | 77 | 15 | 5 |
2680 | I hate when Amazon sends stuff in multiple shipments. | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2681 | I can’t get over this feeling that I want to chase you around. Is it wrong that I feel that way? | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2682 | My father would be rolling around in his grave if he knew I was seeing you. | 1.2571 | 0.06333 | 70 | 55 | 12 | 3 |
2683 | Doc I need help, every time I go for my tail I end up spiralling | 1.2571 | 0.05997 | 70 | 54 | 14 | 2 |
2684 | Yes, e xtended adolescence --- I still watch Paw Patrol. | 1.2571 | 0.06333 | 70 | 55 | 12 | 3 |
2685 | If I'm really not man's best friend, then who is | 1.2571 | 0.04494 | 105 | 79 | 25 | 1 |
2686 | I have absolutely no clue who’s a good boy. | 1.2571 | 0.07248 | 70 | 58 | 6 | 6 |
2687 | Just since yesterday. You? | 1.2571 | 0.06956 | 70 | 57 | 8 | 5 |
2688 | Oh, fuck! | 1.2571 | 0.05246 | 105 | 83 | 17 | 5 |
2689 | Throw me a bone here,cat | 1.2571 | 0.05246 | 105 | 83 | 17 | 5 |