Contest #806


Cartoon

806

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Don’t you hate it when sand gets in your suit?”
  2. “Could you put polish on my back?”
  3. “I'll cover the moat if you cover the ocean.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2022-06-12T19:01:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2022-06-26T19:03:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2022-06-20T19:03:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued June 27, 2022
Number of captions 4980
Number of responses 702174
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 The castle looked bigger on Zillow. 1.8177 0.01621 2249 907 845 497
1 Could you rub some WD-40 on my back? 1.7899 0.01346 3331 1429 1173 729
2 Can I interest you in a one knight stand? 1.7827 0.01351 3668 1712 1041 915
3 There is a high serf advisory. 1.7575 0.01471 2726 1214 959 553
4 I may not be suited to this job. 1.7572 0.01778 1845 816 661 368
5 This is just a summer job to help pay for knight school. 1.7562 0.01369 3146 1404 1105 637
6 I’d say the toughest part is the chainmail Speedo. 1.7523 0.01358 3492 1663 1031 798
7 They only let you protect the real castle after a summer internship. 1.7482 0.01743 1855 815 692 348
8 Watch out. Serfs are up. 1.7480 0.01253 3933 1835 1254 844
9 It’s actually quite comfortable, but the sand gets in places you wouldn’t believe 1.7463 0.01800 1707 743 654 310
10 Hi. I’m Rusty. 1.7431 0.01267 3698 1694 1260 744
11 Dress for the job you want,not the job you have. 1.7368 0.01226 3967 1842 1327 798
12 Does this outfit make me look middle aged? 1.7348 0.01241 3967 1877 1265 825
13 You look like you've never seen a middle aged lifeguard before. 1.7344 0.01396 3072 1435 1018 619
14 Laugh all you want, but which one of us looks more like shark bait? 1.7260 0.01346 3077 1394 1132 551
15 I'm a lifeguard by day, but I still have a knight job. 1.7252 0.02055 1379 643 472 264
16 Swimmers in distress are all yours, damsels in distress are mine. 1.7241 0.01344 3143 1445 1120 578
17 USC. And you? 1.7227 0.01467 2834 1366 888 580
18 I'm having a Middle-Ages crisis. 1.7198 0.01363 3076 1430 1078 568
19 High tide. What's you're greatest fear? 1.7172 0.01776 1800 837 635 328
20 I'm using WD 40 instead of SPF 40 1.7149 0.01358 3083 1441 1080 562
21 Thanks, I like your suit too. 1.7113 0.01246 3315 1469 1334 512
22 Well no, I never saved anybody, but nobody's touching that sandcastle. 1.7079 0.01810 1712 803 606 303
23 Vandals and Visigoths are no problem, but high tide is a bitch. 1.6958 0.02709 779 377 262 140
24 The king promised me a castle with an ocean view. 1.6928 0.01916 1491 707 535 249
25 Come to Camelot, they said. A shining castle by the side of the sea, they said. 1.6893 0.02093 1268 610 442 216
26 This was actually built in a day. 1.6694 0.01473 2450 1190 880 380
27 I'm searching for the Holy Pail. 1.6627 0.01553 2407 1241 737 429
28 We clearly interpreted “Protect the beach” very differently. 1.6590 0.01575 2100 1027 762 311
29 I'm in search of the Holy Pail. 1.6580 0.01678 2047 1059 629 359
30 My orders for this battle are to turn the tide, 1.6575 0.01532 2251 1112 798 341
31 It’s a little hot but it’s SPF rating is off the charts. 1.6573 0.01489 2361 1161 848 352
32 When I asked for the Knight shift, this wasn't what I had in mind. 1.6551 0.01466 2470 1228 866 376
33 I have been greatly misinformed about the nature of the ironman challenge. 1.6487 0.01384 2872 1472 937 463
34 Don't give me that look, three drowning girls this month said I was their knight in shining armor. 1.6404 0.01555 2069 1023 767 279
35 It's a spear. But, yes I'm happy to see you. 1.6370 0.01435 2807 1505 816 486
36 I dress for the job I want. 1.6340 0.01467 2456 1263 829 364
37 'You can live much closer to the ocean if you're willing to downsize.' 1.6290 0.01415 2671 1393 876 402
38 Oh yeah, it's hot as hell but the SPF is 15,000. 1.6276 0.02367 956 500 312 144
39 I'm meeting the rook and the bishop after my shift. 1.6256 0.02911 625 326 207 92
40 Can you help. I'm a little rusty. 1.6251 0.02231 1027 527 358 142
41 They promised no dragons . . . plus dental. 1.6234 0.01704 1747 896 613 238
42 You’re jealous because mine is actually a pony’s tail . 1.6175 0.01542 2238 1187 720 331
43 Just remember, the king is pretty sensitive about his height. 1.6170 0.02758 778 436 204 138
44 Not to brag, but in all the time I’ve been doing this not a single one of these things has been destroyed by a dragon. 1.6167 0.02558 801 422 264 115
45 The pay isn't much, but the dragons are way smaller. 1.6129 0.01569 2059 1074 708 277
46 Well it would be shiny if not for the salt air 1.6127 0.02646 723 377 249 97
47 It saves on sunscreen. 1.6085 0.01892 1313 666 495 152
48 ‘‘My pronouns are thee/thy/thou.” 1.5998 0.01874 1779 1054 383 342
49 If some toddler comes to knock this over don't get in my way. 1.5980 0.02501 806 430 270 106
50 I typically work the Knight shift. 1.5979 0.01734 1716 926 554 236
51 It's not the tide I'm worried about, it's the Normans. 1.5928 0.01843 1493 806 489 198
52 So, are you doing anything after high tide? 1.5875 0.01851 1411 752 489 170
53 They have me working the knight shift. 1.5862 0.01880 1433 782 462 189
54 Don’t you hate it when sand gets in your suit? 1.5860 0.01910 1488 839 426 223
55 If I told you what this kid is paying me you wouldn’t believe me. 1.5856 0.01829 1443 771 499 173
56 The main threat's not the tide. It's the rust. 1.5844 0.01859 1374 730 485 159
57 No, I don’t have any SPF-40. Do you have any WD-40? 1.5844 0.02077 1393 828 316 249
58 Stainless steel has been a game changer for me! 1.5763 0.01940 1272 688 435 149
59 I'm from a very small kingdom. 1.5729 0.01990 1194 646 412 136
60 I quit my day job for this knight job. 1.5729 0.02032 1194 658 388 148
61 I hope you closed the castle windows. It's almost high tide. 1.5708 0.02243 1293 817 214 262
62 I'll cover the moat, if you cover the ocean. 1.5675 0.02328 1193 755 199 239
63 I’m one of those hot summer knights you hear so much about. 1.5662 0.02406 1042 638 218 186
64 You think sand in your swimsuits bad… 1.5656 0.02275 1105 660 265 180
65 Yeah. I'll have the last laugh when the sharks get hungry. 1.5646 0.02073 1084 591 374 119
66 Medieval studies and architecture, you? 1.5642 0.02270 1067 627 278 162
67 You know what they say, dress for the job you want, not the job you have 1.5637 0.02226 1130 670 283 177
68 Hail, Seashore! 1.5586 0.02372 1101 691 205 205
69 I'm working my way up to guarding a White Castle. 1.5565 0.02562 717 398 239 80
70 SPF 4000. You? 1.5564 0.02308 1001 587 271 143
71 It was this or Scotland in January. 1.5556 0.03067 504 281 166 57
72 Okay! So it's not much of a kingdom, but it's mine ! 1.5526 0.02252 912 506 308 98
73 How do you keep the sand from getting in your suit? 1.5485 0.02338 917 530 271 116
74 You must spend a fortune on sunscreen. 1.5455 0.02346 858 486 276 96
75 This what happens when you pledge your fealty to a 6 year old. 1.5422 0.02542 817 488 215 114
76 His Majesty bid me defend it whilst he quests for the yellow shovel. 1.5410 0.02489 817 480 232 105
77 I promised my daughter I would protect her castle from the enemies while she gets ice cream 🍦 1.5381 0.02499 775 449 235 91
78 Thanks, I'm good with sunscreen. But you wouldn't happen to have some WD-40 I could borrow? 1.5355 0.02637 760 459 195 106
79 It looked bigger on AirBNB 1.5350 0.02671 757 462 185 110
80 It's not the tide of history that I'm concerned about. 1.5331 0.02560 756 446 217 93
81 What do you mean did I buy flood insurance” 1.5310 0.02652 678 395 206 77
82 It's been a few years since I did this, so I'm kind of rusty. 1.5299 0.02571 719 419 219 81
83 In this job, it’s sink or swim. 1.5274 0.02679 730 445 185 100
84 I'll trade you some SPF 50 for a little WD-40. 1.5272 0.02683 736 451 182 103
85 The spear is more effective than a whistle. 1.5265 0.02607 697 408 211 78
86 I'm here in case they make it across the moat-- if they fall in it's up to you 1.5265 0.02683 716 434 187 95
87 When did we get new uniforms? 1.5248 0.02670 686 408 196 82
88 I prefer damsels in bikinis. 1.5244 0.02468 677 377 245 55
89 I'm working the knight shift. 1.5241 0.02673 685 408 195 82
90 I wish they all could be Canterbury girls. 1.5237 0.02813 653 398 168 87
91 You may be saving lives, but I am guarding a kingdom. 1.5227 0.04754 220 132 61 27
92 All they said was: " Guard the fort!!" 1.5223 0.02679 649 380 199 70
93 Perhaps I'm at the wrong castle? 1.5214 0.02781 631 377 179 75
94 WD-40. Yours? 1.5194 0.02685 670 400 192 78
95 It has the highest SPF rating. 1.5145 0.02746 653 396 178 79
96 You laugh,but wait till you have kids 1.5131 0.02790 573 335 182 56
97 I have very sensitive skin... 1.5119 0.02743 590 345 188 57
98 So, they go in the water on purpose? 1.5116 0.02810 606 365 172 69
99 ``High tide does what?'' 1.5109 0.02806 640 394 165 81
100 It looked bigger online 1.5101 0.02884 596 365 158 73
101 At least one of us takes the 'guard' part seriously 1.5079 0.02703 630 376 188 66
102 I'm useless for rescuing swimmers, but the moment that dragon shows up ... 1.5075 0.02824 599 363 168 68
103 ‘We’ll see who’s laughing when they come back to claim the castle.’ 1.5052 0.02944 580 360 147 73
104 Honestly, I thought knight shift was a typo. 1.5036 0.03035 562 354 133 75
105 Good thing you’re here. I’m a little rusty. 1.5034 0.02764 590 352 179 59
106 Wait, you’re here to SAVE the people in the water? 1.5028 0.03041 529 326 140 63
107 I was certified ages ago but I'm a bit rusty now. 1.5000 0.02882 594 369 153 72
108 I'll take marauding mythical creatures and sea-based sieges if you take any incident that requires treading water. 1.5000 0.02882 554 335 161 58
109 Actually, I was demoated... 1.5000 0.03121 500 309 132 59
110 So…do you love long walks on the beach and hot summer knights? 1.4982 0.03133 544 350 117 77
111 I was also surprised when they asked me to do a knight watch. 1.4980 0.03110 494 304 134 56
112 You ever get sand in your suit? 1.4973 0.03042 563 359 128 76
113 Moat, Castle, Guard. What don't you get? 1.4962 0.02953 530 323 151 56
114 Your husband calls me his wife guard. 1.4945 0.03221 457 282 124 51
115 I’m not used to saving lives. 1.4922 0.03129 451 272 136 43
116 Lancelot, what's yours 1.4915 0.02949 531 326 149 56
117 It's just a summer job. I start Knight School in the fall. 1.4910 0.03151 499 315 123 61
118 I was hoping for the knight shift 1.4907 0.02944 538 332 148 58
119 At least ONE of us takes sun protection seriously! 1.4894 0.02994 517 319 143 55
120 This is just my day job, I'm currently in knight school. 1.4885 0.03151 520 335 116 69
121 They call me the Prince of Tides. 1.4878 0.03092 492 306 132 54
122 The Queen built it when she was only five.It's been a steady job. 1.4851 0.03008 470 283 146 41
123 An inflatable dragon is headed this way. 1.4839 0.03255 436 271 119 46
124 Can you take the first rescue? I’m a little rusty. 1.4838 0.03187 494 317 115 62
125 I'm certified for damsels-in-distress. 1.4832 0.03237 476 305 112 59
126 I agree; ONE of us is dressed totally inappropriately for guard duty 1.4831 0.03144 503 322 119 62
127 I’m only here until the tide comes in. 1.4822 0.03101 450 274 135 41
128 I know, I want to jump on it too. 1.4816 0.03314 434 274 111 49
129 It's SPF 500 with the mask down. 1.4814 0.03235 457 289 116 52
130 Would you hold the fort. I'm going for a swim. 1.4814 0.03190 457 286 122 49
131 Serfs Up! better alert the king !! 1.4811 0.03338 449 289 104 56
132 I'm on knight shift until the serf comes in. 1.4810 0.03277 501 332 97 72
133 They said bring your own suit. They could have specified. 1.4804 0.03124 485 306 125 54
134 Now we wait. 1.4803 0.03284 456 292 109 55
135 Well, maybe you’re not taking your job seriously ENOUGH, Linda. 1.4793 0.03152 482 306 121 55
136 The training manual instructed us new lifeguards to wear Under Armour not body armor, you nitwit. 1.4781 0.03255 456 291 112 53
137 I feel overdressed 1.4780 0.03128 454 281 129 44
138 Nice to meet you Sandy - I'm Rusty. 1.4779 0.03422 452 299 90 63
139 Surely, you joust? Don't call me Shirley. 1.4777 0.03369 404 253 109 42
140 I got the moat, you watch the ocean. 1.4771 0.03215 415 254 124 37
141 I dress for the job I want, not the one I have. 1.4769 0.03391 455 300 93 62
142 Anyone can save a life, but to save a dynasty - whole other story.... 1.4757 0.03321 412 258 112 42
143 I'm here for the damsel in distress. You save everyone else. 1.4755 0.03469 429 282 90 57
144 My preferred pronoun is Sir. 1.4716 0.03522 405 265 89 51
145 OMG! You think they meant NIGHT shift? 1.4693 0.03369 424 274 101 49
146 Are you in distress by any chance? 1.4688 0.03252 433 275 113 45
147 Could you put polish on my back? 1.4684 0.03281 459 300 103 56
148 They told me the serf uprising is imminent. 1.4681 0.03408 423 276 96 51
149 I suppose after high tide I'll be looking for a new job. 1.4678 0.03188 451 287 117 47
150 I worked at the round table last summer too. 1.4672 0.03341 396 249 109 38
151 There may be a shortage of lifeguards, but there's no shortage of actors. 1.4660 0.03265 412 259 114 39
152 Shirley, you joust? 1.4644 0.03472 407 267 91 49
153 If they come by sea, you and I may have different objectives. 1.4629 0.03563 337 211 96 30
154 Serf's up! 1.4619 0.03454 407 267 92 48
155 I was certified by the Order of the Red Cross. 1.4615 0.03396 390 249 102 39
156 I think I'm out of my realm. 1.4611 0.03466 373 238 98 37
157 I have some oil, but no sunscreen. 1.4611 0.03642 360 235 84 41
158 Actually, I only cover the moat. 1.4607 0.03346 382 240 108 34
159 I signed up for serf guard 1.4605 0.03199 430 273 116 41
160 SPF 1225 AND you don't have to re-apply after 2 hours. 1.4587 0.03422 412 271 93 48
161 To be fair, you'd look pretty silly jousting in the suit you have on 1.4585 0.03748 349 231 76 42
162 I was laid off at White Castle 1.4567 0.03472 381 247 94 40
163 It's SPF 100, with the visor down. 1.4565 0.03584 379 251 83 45
164 I'm kind of having a Middle Age crisis. 1.4562 0.03597 388 260 79 49
165 The castle looked bigger online. 1.4551 0.03735 345 228 77 40
166 l'm waiting for my serf to come in! 1.4545 0.03445 385 250 95 40
167 Ever go to an all knight beach party? 1.4538 0.03397 346 215 105 26
168 I must protect my kingdom from the invading surfs 1.4533 0.03631 364 241 81 42
169 If the internship goes well, I could be looking at a bouncy castle by fall. 1.4529 0.03705 340 223 80 37
170 My parents are dermatologists. 1.4508 0.03677 366 246 75 45
171 You gotta admit it, since I've been here there have been no viking attacks. 1.4507 0.03499 355 228 94 33
172 I may need your help jumping the moat. I did not get a good knight's leap. 1.4491 0.03631 334 216 86 32
173 Why would you assume it's mine? 1.4487 0.03732 312 201 82 29
174 Sorry, you'll have to rescue him. I'm guarding the castle. 1.4486 0.03580 350 228 87 35
175 Of course no dragon's coming. I'm a strong deterrent. 1.4476 0.03443 353 225 98 30
176 I might need some help at high tide. 1.4474 0.03422 342 215 101 26
177 I know I'm here early, but this is my first time on the knight shift. 1.4469 0.03521 358 233 90 35
178 You might ask “Why is this knight different from all other nights?” 1.4468 0.03866 329 222 67 40
179 I built it, I'm gonna defend it. 1.4466 0.03868 309 204 72 33
180 I fear our empire is on the brink of collapse. 1.4459 0.03403 388 254 95 39
181 I just realized why pictures of knights are always in a shady forest. 1.4455 0.03761 321 211 77 33
182 Indeed, the threats come in waves." 1.4455 0.03629 321 206 87 28
183 When I handed him his spear, he replied, ‘thanks, Lance, a lot’ and the name just stuck from there 1.4433 0.03923 300 199 69 32
184 Rustproof, no. Sharkproof, yes." 1.4419 0.03798 301 196 77 28
185 Dress for the job you want, not the one you have 1.4408 0.03967 304 205 64 35
186 For our kingdom, dragons aren't as scary as climate change. 1.4403 0.03568 318 203 90 25
187 I am guarding the castle. You? 1.4402 0.03513 368 244 86 38
188 SPF 600 AD 1.4395 0.03711 314 205 80 29
189 I have first dibs on any damsel in distress. 1.4394 0.03530 330 212 91 27
190 I’m here because I have turrets syndrome. 1.4394 0.03782 330 222 71 37
191 SPF DCCVII 1.4388 0.04008 294 198 63 33
192 I was expecting a more important post, but I guess it's a start. 1.4387 0.03346 367 236 101 30
193 Why yes I do live with my mother. How did you know that? 1.4360 0.03907 289 191 70 28
194 It’s “surf’s” up not “serfs” up. 1.4349 0.03495 361 239 87 35
195 SPF 1000 with the visor down. 1.4345 0.03717 313 206 78 29
196 Well, I'd look pretty silly with just the spear, wouldn't I? 1.4342 0.04018 281 188 64 29
197 I've got the knight shift. 1.4337 0.03689 332 222 76 34
198 And that was the last time anyone kicked sand in my face. 1.4323 0.03803 303 201 73 29
199 I can't wait for that bully who kicks down sand castles to come back. 1.4322 0.04003 273 181 66 26
200 Could you help me put some WD-40 on my back? 1.4315 0.03530 343 226 86 31
201 You call it armor, but I call it SPF One Million. 1.4314 0.03432 350 228 93 29
202 You guard the coastline; I’ll defend the castle 1.4309 0.03707 304 199 79 26
203 On the otherhand, I pay almost nothing for sunscreen. 1.4303 0.03574 337 223 83 31
204 I’m afraid i’m going to get tin lines 1.4300 0.03771 300 198 75 27
205 Sunscreen doesn’t work for me anymore! 1.4295 0.03582 319 208 85 26
206 They claim UPF rating of 100 and shark resistant! 1.4286 0.03828 287 189 73 25
207 It’s the highest possible SPF. Protects against all UV rays and the Byzantine Empire 1.4286 0.03809 329 226 65 38
208 Laundry day. 1.4276 0.03705 297 194 79 24
209 If anyone goes under, you take it. I'm a bit rusty 1.4241 0.03628 323 215 79 29
210 You’ll never get this SPF with a lotion. 1.4238 0.03456 328 213 91 24
211 Let me share some advice: beware the tides of March. 1.4237 0.03872 295 199 67 29
212 So you guard lives? With a whistle? Okay weirdo." 1.4225 0.03980 284 193 62 29
213 It's a sustainable form of sunscreen. 1.4216 0.03854 306 209 65 32
214 I should have realized when the job description was in crayon. 1.4211 0.05669 133 89 32 12
215 Ever feel like you were born in the wrong Millenium? 1.4209 0.03511 297 190 89 18
216 I'm going on break. Can you defend the castle for me? 1.4209 0.03944 278 187 65 26
217 Are you in distress, by chance? 1.4207 0.04050 271 184 60 27
218 Sorry, you're on your own. The salty air has rusted my knees. 1.4199 0.03880 281 188 68 25
219 My friends call me the Prince of Tides. 1.4199 0.03945 281 190 64 27
220 Okay if I tell my friends about this one-knight stand? 1.4199 0.03825 312 214 65 33
221 Oh, I thought you said take the 'knight' shift. 1.4180 0.03723 311 210 72 29
222 Can you guard my castle for ten minutes? I have to change out of my suit. 1.4180 0.03919 256 168 69 19
223 I'm just here for the damsels.” 1.4179 0.03788 280 185 73 22
224 I save a ton on sunscreen. 1.4172 0.03888 302 208 62 32
225 Sharks? No. Children with buckets are our greatest threat. 1.4161 0.04011 298 209 54 35
226 Your eyes do not deceive. I am a knight in shining armor. 1.4161 0.03861 286 193 67 26
227 You obviously haven’t been warned about the kids on this beach. 1.4161 0.03981 274 186 62 26
228 Hot one today. 1.4158 0.03962 279 190 62 27
229 My dermatologist told me to avoid the sun and only go out at knight... 1.4148 0.04057 270 185 58 27
230 I haven’t been to the beach in ages. 1.4148 0.03831 311 215 63 33
231 My Empire does continue to diminish, but an oath is an oath. 1.4147 0.03896 258 170 69 19
232 With the lifeguard shortage, the pay is triple what I make jousting. 1.4147 0.04085 258 175 59 24
233 Of course I can swim! I'm more worried about getting down from this chair! 1.4133 0.04011 271 185 60 26
234 they gave me the knight shift 1.4125 0.03761 303 206 69 28
235 I didn't know Under Armor made bathing suits. 1.4118 0.03701 289 192 75 22
236 Let me know if you see anything unusual" 1.4118 0.04033 272 187 58 27
237 Well, no, it's actually more of a summer castle. 1.4113 0.03821 265 175 71 19
238 You know...they have sunscreen now. 1.4104 0.04243 268 190 46 32
239 Yeah, it's hard to swim in but the UV protection can't be beat. 1.4103 0.03526 290 188 85 17
240 Now I work re-moat-ly. 1.4099 0.03949 283 195 60 28
241 Since you ask, I'm searching for the holy pail. 1.4096 0.03911 293 203 60 30
242 Oh, it's just my summer job. I'm currently attending knight school." 1.4088 0.03942 274 187 62 25
243 I vowed to protect the realm from ruthless brigands, invading armies, and the occasional dude chasing a frisbee. 1.4078 0.04038 255 173 60 22
244 I'm a remoat worker. 1.4078 0.04188 255 177 52 26
245 I need to practice my life-saving skills, I'm a little rusty. 1.4073 0.03930 275 188 62 25
246 Got any WD 40? 1.4064 0.04043 251 170 60 21
247 The Sandcastle Guard test was surprisingly easy. 1.4057 0.03966 281 195 58 28
248 Also, I can't swim. 1.4054 0.04174 259 181 51 27
249 You don't see me questioning your career choices. 1.4052 0.03991 269 185 59 25
250 Me if by land You if by sea 1.4052 0.04096 232 155 60 17
251 Oh, night shift?" 1.4047 0.03897 257 172 66 19
252 Just to be clear, I’m only guarding the castle. 1.4047 0.03974 257 174 62 21
253 They kind of went overboard on the moat. 1.4041 0.03731 292 198 70 24
254 I'm better suited for the job. 1.4037 0.03729 270 179 73 18
255 My under armor is a speedo. 1.4032 0.04231 248 173 50 25
256 I’m strictly damsels. You take everything else. 1.4024 0.03878 251 167 67 17
257 Everyone has different rescue fantasies. 1.4024 0.04156 251 174 53 24
258 My shift started in 1279. 1.4007 0.04113 267 188 51 28
259 No, I'm not protecting the castle, I just burn easily. 1.4007 0.03851 272 185 65 22
260 You watch for sharks, I'll watch for dragons. 1.4007 0.03629 307 209 73 25
261 No, Im certain they said “steel yourself, the water is freezing!” 1.3993 0.03840 273 186 65 22
262 I have to run an errand; can you hold the fort? 1.3992 0.04015 263 182 57 24
263 Beware the Tides of June. 1.3992 0.03996 258 177 59 22
264 I hate it when you get sand in your suit. 1.3992 0.04013 253 173 59 21
265 I use a combo of SPF 50 and Quaker State. 1.3992 0.03974 253 172 61 20
266 But you wished for a romantic knight on the beach… 1.3992 0.04275 238 166 49 23
267 It's very tough to defend--but also very easy to rebuild. 1.3985 0.03888 261 177 64 20
268 Me? I get off at high tide 1.3983 0.04194 241 167 52 22
269 You're pretty hot, but I am sure I am hotter. 1.3983 0.04041 236 159 60 17
270 I’m taking knight classes online. 1.3976 0.04097 249 172 55 22
271 Dammit, I can’t believe I forgot it’s casual Friday 1.3974 0.04240 234 162 51 21
272 For me, it's not just guard duty. It's a crusade. 1.3971 0.04551 209 146 43 20
273 It was a difficult job market after the Crusade ended. 1.3967 0.04097 242 166 56 20
274 No one's inside. It's a shell company. 1.3966 0.04285 237 166 48 23
275 They were out of sunscreen. 1.3962 0.04082 260 182 53 25
276 The last time I was here it was Ages ago" 1.3960 0.04503 202 139 46 17
277 Some kid paid me to guard his castle. I know, but hey, it's the Hamptons. 1.3958 0.04485 240 174 37 29
278 I think we're going to need a bigger moat. 1.3957 0.04139 235 161 55 19
279 No, I said you have the NIGHT shift” 1.3957 0.04311 235 165 47 23
280 They asked me to take the knight shift. 1.3956 0.03801 273 186 66 21
281 Yeah, my dad got me this job too 1.3947 0.04317 228 159 48 21
282 On the plus side, I haven’t used sun screen in years.” 1.3947 0.04088 228 154 58 16
283 Sure, it’s tiny. But I’m the king of it. 1.3938 0.04252 226 156 51 19
284 I came with the castle. 1.3933 0.03956 239 161 62 16
285 You handle the swimmers; I'll take care of any dragons. 1.3931 0.03909 262 180 61 21
286 If there are sharks involved, let me handle it. 1.3930 0.03924 257 176 61 20
287 Trust me, this is easier than putting on sunscreen. 1.3929 0.04278 224 155 50 19
288 I'd rather be your knight in shining Speedo 1.3926 0.03969 270 189 56 25
289 Nothing to do with the sand castle. I just burn easily. 1.3925 0.03951 265 184 58 23
290 Just stick to your realm and I'll stick to mine." 1.3922 0.03798 232 152 69 11
291 To be honest, I’m a little rusty. 1.3922 0.04521 204 142 44 18
292 On the plus side, the armor is SPF 10,000. 1.3920 0.04272 250 179 44 27
293 I was told to dress for the job I want 1.3920 0.04309 250 180 42 28
294 Excellent UV protection. I'm a bit concerned about rust. 1.3918 0.04098 245 170 54 21
295 Like your empire is so stable. 1.3915 0.04178 235 163 52 20
296 You think they need both of us? 1.3911 0.04169 225 154 54 17
297 I've got the moat covered. You watch the ocean. 1.3897 0.03910 272 190 58 24
298 You must be Day. 1.3896 0.04205 249 177 47 25
299 I thought I was working the knightshift 1.3891 0.03980 275 195 53 27
300 I promised my kids I'd guard it. 1.3884 0.04004 242 166 58 18
301 I'm here on a quest to find the Holy Pail. Obviously. 1.3883 0.04323 206 141 50 15
302 I've rusted and I can't get I up. 1.3876 0.04022 258 181 54 23
303 Yeah, I'm a history major. 1.3876 0.04115 209 140 57 12
304 Just because I am suited for this job doesn't always mean I like it. 1.3876 0.04489 209 147 43 19
305 Background check? The best response to a bad shark in the water is an armored guy with a spear! 1.3871 0.04169 217 148 54 15
306 Ya it’s a little warm, but the SPF is like 3000 1.3870 0.04282 230 162 47 21
307 The hiring manager said some knights were required. 1.3867 0.04350 225 159 45 21
308 In this housing market, this is all the king could afford to buy. 1.3862 0.04588 189 131 43 15
309 Fear not, fair maiden, for the tide is turning! 1.3857 0.04209 210 143 53 14
310 I'm dressing for the job I want. 1.3849 0.04163 239 168 50 21
311 Sorry, I only have metal polish. 1.3846 0.04449 208 146 44 18
312 I started looking for my summer quest too late. 1.3839 0.04361 224 159 44 21
313 I hope it's a quiet day, I feel a little rusty. 1.3837 0.03879 245 167 62 16
314 It's nothing to do with the castle. I'm allergic to sunblock. 1.3836 0.04026 232 159 57 16
315 I shall defend this kingdom until the very end! And then I'll probably grab some dinner. 1.3836 0.04189 219 151 52 16
316 The zinc oxide just wasn’t doing it anymore 1.3831 0.04012 248 173 55 20
317 I'm only here for the weekend covering for Don Quixote. 1.3829 0.04388 222 158 43 21
318 It’s got an SPF of 476 to circa 1350. 1.3828 0.04379 209 146 46 17
319 I’d swim, but I’m a bit rusty. 1.3826 0.04187 230 161 50 19
320 They told me to “Dress for the job you want” 1.3822 0.03891 259 180 59 20
321 “Rust-Oleum Spray-On with SPF 100.” 1.3822 0.04158 225 156 52 17
322 Watch out for rising serfs. 1.3822 0.04252 225 158 48 19
323 Are you sure they won’t attack from the land? 1.3819 0.04533 199 140 42 17
324 It’s SPF 50 BC 1.3818 0.04272 220 154 48 18
325 They expect me to swim? 1.3814 0.04679 215 158 32 25
326 Yes, buoyancy is an issue. 1.3814 0.04240 215 149 50 16
327 I fear the tide will turn 1.3812 0.04316 202 139 49 14
328 What makes you say I'm being over protective? 1.3812 0.04134 223 154 53 16
329 Dress for the job you want, Diane. 1.3811 0.04179 244 174 47 23
330 What is this tide you speak of? 1.3805 0.04143 226 157 52 17
331 If you can cover the water, I’ll protect the castle. 1.3803 0.04369 213 150 45 18
332 I'm on guard duty. Why are you here? 1.3803 0.04369 213 150 45 18
333 I should have worn a speedo. 1.3802 0.04121 242 171 50 21
334 Not what I was expecting when they said bring your suit 1.3799 0.04104 229 159 53 17
335 I understand it's your job to save them, but if they come near the castle it's my job to end them. 1.3797 0.04551 187 130 43 14
336 You just watch the water. I will guard the castle!! 1.3795 0.04070 224 154 55 15
337 Oh, you meant a dark and stormy night. 1.3793 0.04855 174 123 36 15
338 It was either this or a quest for the Holy Sippy Cup. 1.3792 0.04144 240 170 49 21
339 I didn’t know it would be a sand castle. 1.3791 0.04240 211 146 50 15
340 You take care of the swimmers. I'm here to defend the castle. 1.3789 0.03840 256 177 61 18
341 I'm only here until the moat fills in. 1.3788 0.04489 198 139 43 16
342 One more summer and I’ll have enough to buy my own horse. 1.3786 0.04199 206 141 52 13
343 Of course I put on sunscreen, what kind of nut do you think I am? 1.3786 0.03980 243 169 56 18
344 I'll get the ones who cross the moat, you take the ones who are drowning. 1.3785 0.04146 214 147 53 14
345 Are you also from the temp agency? 1.3782 0.04510 193 135 43 15
346 This is my first knight shift. 1.3775 0.04393 204 143 45 16
347 Let's just say it was not a promotion. 1.3773 0.04118 220 152 53 15
348 I'm just doing the knight shift 1.3772 0.04297 228 163 44 21
349 I go off duty at high tide. 1.3772 0.04018 228 157 56 15
350 I save a fortune on sunscreen. 1.3766 0.03837 231 156 63 12
351 Yeah, these kids have pretty rich parents. Why? 1.3763 0.04432 194 135 45 14
352 Can you go and save him? I’m rusted solid. 1.3762 0.04356 210 148 45 17
353 Dress for the job you want! 1.3762 0.04459 210 150 41 19
354 Wouldn't sunscreen work better? 1.3761 0.04532 218 159 36 23
355 You save the swimmers. I'll guard the castle. 1.3761 0.04083 234 164 52 18
356 This is high tide, right? Tell me it’s high tide. 1.3757 0.04512 173 118 45 10
357 So that’s what you’re wearing? 1.3744 0.04177 219 153 50 16
358 I work the knight shift. 1.3738 0.04192 214 149 50 15
359 You don't have to tell me how awkward it is to get sand "there." 1.3738 0.04466 206 147 41 18
360 You watch for people who fall into the moat. I'll watch for people who get past it. 1.3737 0.04366 198 138 46 14
361 Yeah, well, all roads lead away from Rome, too. 1.3731 0.04544 201 144 39 18
362 The saltwater wreaks havoc on my suit too. 1.3723 0.04396 188 130 46 12
363 Watch out for the serfs. 1.3709 0.04356 213 152 43 18
364 I’ll rescue damsels, you take everyone else. 1.3706 0.04376 197 138 45 14
365 What SPF do I use? Frankly, I’m partial to WD40. 1.3704 0.04054 243 173 50 20
366 If you build it they will come" so here I am 1.3704 0.04108 216 150 52 14
367 I'll let you do the next rescue. I'm a little rusty. 1.3699 0.04270 219 156 45 18
368 So, when does the pillaging start? 1.3699 0.03965 219 150 57 12
369 And then I said to the genie; "One really hot night with a lifeguard...", 1.3695 0.04770 203 151 29 23
370 I am here to make sure the river does not run through it. 1.3692 0.04339 214 153 43 18
371 I know why I'm here, but why are you here? 1.3691 0.04176 233 167 46 20
372 I'm on knightwatch. 1.3689 0.04188 225 160 47 18
373 No, what really bothers me is the corrosion. 1.3687 0.04345 217 156 42 19
374 Can you spare some oil? 1.3687 0.04394 217 157 40 20
375 'I'm sorry, but I don't have any sunscreen.' 1.3684 0.04484 190 134 42 14
376 I too am trained in CPR. Castle Protection and Rescue. 1.3684 0.04148 228 162 48 18
377 You think you're hot! 1.3678 0.04906 174 126 32 16
378 You probably aren't vaccinated either. 1.3676 0.04324 204 144 45 15
379 Didn't anyone tell you this is a one knight stand? 1.3674 0.04169 215 151 49 15
380 If someone calls for help, I’ll guard the castle. 1.3668 0.04398 199 141 43 15
381 All quiet on the moat. How's the ocean? 1.3668 0.04133 229 163 48 18
382 You must be the day lifeguard. 1.3665 0.04403 191 134 44 13
383 Hopefully the dragon is to scale. 1.3659 0.04576 205 150 35 20
384 Doth the maiden have weekend plans? 1.3645 0.04445 203 146 40 17
385 I have a sinking feeling that the tide will win the battle. 1.3645 0.04162 203 141 50 12
386 You defend by sea, I'll defend by land. 1.3645 0.04178 214 151 48 15
387 I'm protecting the castle… What about you? 1.3641 0.04397 195 138 43 14
388 It’s not particularly comfortable but the SPF is off the chart. 1.3641 0.04516 195 140 39 16
389 Our last three outposts mysteriously disappeared. 1.3636 0.04527 187 133 40 14
390 I'm qualified to guard the castle because I have Turret's Syndrome. 1.3636 0.04713 187 136 34 17
391 Yeah, it gets kind of hot, but it's also rated at SPF 9000. 1.3631 0.04390 179 124 45 10
392 No, I don’t need sun block. 1.3627 0.04087 204 141 52 11
393 Surely you joust. 1.3627 0.04547 193 139 38 16
394 Our position is under threat, but we may yet turn the tide. 1.3622 0.04196 196 136 49 11
395 Someone needs to protect our eroding shorelines. 1.3622 0.04258 196 137 47 12
396 Actually, it was built in a day. 1.3620 0.04909 163 117 33 13
397 I've got the castle; the rest of the beach is yours. 1.3619 0.04335 210 151 42 17
398 Stones and mortar, I tell them, but do they listen? 1.3613 0.04518 191 137 39 15
399 It prevents tan lines. 1.3612 0.04151 227 163 46 18
400 I don't know how you expect to defend the kingdom in that outfit 1.3610 0.04186 205 144 48 13
401 Would you like to go out for a mead later?" 1.3608 0.04222 194 135 48 11
402 Not everything is about saving lives Diane, guarding property is important too. 1.3602 0.04318 211 152 42 17
403 But I save a lot on sunscreen! 1.3602 0.03901 236 166 55 15
404 My official title is Prince of Tides. 1.3600 0.04486 200 145 38 17
405 I fear a hostile takeover by that kid with the green shovel. 1.3598 0.04223 214 153 45 16
406 My kingdom for some of your sunscreen. 1.3590 0.04267 195 137 46 12
407 You take anyone drowning out of range, I can only go two steps forward and one to the side. 1.3590 0.04267 195 137 46 12
408 Do you want to get some mead later? 1.3586 0.04342 198 141 43 14
409 Do you have any oil?" 1.3586 0.04516 198 144 37 17
410 You go, I’m a little rusty! 1.3585 0.04828 159 113 35 11
411 It’s SPF LXI. 1.3580 0.04916 176 130 29 17
412 My moat or yours? 1.3580 0.04430 176 123 43 10
413 Yes, I WAS hired by "The Lady of the Lake" how did you know? 1.3575 0.04451 179 126 42 11
414 And then I said ‘my lord I beseech thee’ but he misheard. 1.3575 0.04855 179 132 30 17
415 I thought it would be a lot bigger than this. 1.3571 0.04934 154 110 33 11
416 Bear with me, I’m a little rusty. 1.3571 0.04536 182 130 39 13
417 Our King just turned 5 1.3571 0.04370 196 140 42 14
418 Will you watch the castle for a minute? I have to see a man about a horse. 1.3568 0.04284 213 154 42 17
419 You rescue the swimmers. My job is defending the castle. 1.3568 0.04677 185 135 34 16
420 Me?...I'm here to guard the castle. 1.3564 0.04042 202 140 52 10
421 Here be dragons. Just saying. 1.3559 0.04410 177 124 43 10
422 Think the moat will hold? 1.3553 0.03986 228 162 51 15
423 S.P.F. 1,000. That's why. 1.3550 0.04247 200 142 45 13
424 Rich kids pay well 1.3545 0.04350 189 134 43 12
425 I've successfully defended it since I was six. 1.3537 0.05098 164 122 26 16
426 Thanks, but I’m still thinking it needed a bigger moat. 1.3536 0.04479 181 129 40 12
427 All I know is some kid's dad hired me to guard it for his beach birthday! 1.3522 0.04816 159 114 34 11
428 My shift is over at high tide. What about you? 1.3519 0.04913 162 118 31 13
429 I’m Irish. It’s either this or SPF 10,000. 1.3518 0.04655 199 149 30 20
430 You take care of the drowning and I take care of the barbarians, ok? 1.3518 0.04135 199 140 48 11
431 Once I shut the helmet, it's SPF 100. 1.3518 0.04196 199 141 46 12
432 I think my interview at Little Caesars went pretty well 1.3518 0.04196 199 141 46 12
433 I was wondering if you might be in distress 1.3516 0.04250 182 127 46 9
434 Sometimes I feel like I'm only here for decoration. 1.3512 0.04635 168 120 37 11
435 Do you have any WD40? I can't move my arms. 1.3506 0.04809 174 128 31 15
436 Yeah, guard skills are more transferable than you think 1.3506 0.04524 174 124 39 11
437 My lord's castle used to be twelve miles inland. 1.3503 0.04682 177 129 34 14
438 This was the only castle hiring. 1.3503 0.04343 197 142 41 14
439 The job gets harder in a few hours. 1.3500 0.03920 220 155 53 12
440 Someday all of that will be mine. 1.3495 0.04210 206 148 44 14
441 Can I count on you for help when the tide comes in ? 1.3494 0.04591 166 118 38 10
442 Pays much better than chivalry, especially this summer. 1.3491 0.04763 169 123 33 13
443 I thought the posting said "Night Watchman" 1.3490 0.04357 192 138 41 13
444 I see your suit is Under Armour; mine is simply armour. 1.3486 0.04575 175 126 37 12
445 I time traveled for this?! 1.3486 0.04503 175 125 39 11
446 Beachfront property is worth protecting at all costs. 1.3485 0.04442 198 145 37 16
447 My wife thinks I'm golfing. And sober. 1.3481 0.04994 158 116 29 13
448 Then I said: "The moat the merrier." and they assigned me here. 1.3476 0.04259 210 153 41 16
449 It does slow me down, but sharks are no longer a problem. 1.3476 0.04435 187 135 39 13
450 OK, I’m up. We’re all good. 1.3476 0.04625 164 117 37 10
451 Yeah, I have to oil the joints, but I don't need sunscreen. 1.3472 0.04338 193 139 41 13
452 WD40 works best for me 1.3472 0.04212 193 137 45 11
453 Your Match.com profile mentioned that your favorite film was Camelot... 1.3471 0.04513 170 121 39 10
454 Anyway, my therapist thinks I struggle with letting my guard down. 1.3469 0.04471 196 144 36 16
455 I guard as my king commands, but I’m starting to think he must have meant a different castle 1.3467 0.04247 199 143 43 13
456 I'll protect the castle; you protect the water. 1.3464 0.04569 179 130 36 13
457 I'm only on duty until high tide takes out the castle. 1.3462 0.03947 208 146 52 10
458 This spear actually unfolds into an umbrella 1.3462 0.04868 156 113 32 11
459 I can put sunscreen on your back if you WD 40 my joints. 1.3459 0.04465 185 134 38 13
460 I'm worried that my SPF 5000 might make it tough to swim. 1.3459 0.04331 185 132 42 11
461 It's a compensatory tool according to my therapist. 1.3459 0.04635 159 113 37 9
462 The armor does makes it harder to swim, but the SPF factor is off the charts. 1.3455 0.04173 191 135 46 10
463 I have to guard this stupid sandcastle. What's your excuse? 1.3450 0.04642 171 124 35 12
464 Yeah it’s hot but I save a ton on sunblock 1.3450 0.04859 171 127 29 15
465 I'm having second thoughts about joining a fraternity. 1.3448 0.04301 203 148 40 15
466 You handle the ocean and I'll take the moat. 1.3448 0.04513 174 125 38 11
467 Tell me again how you are going to defend the castle from toddlers without getting sued? 1.3448 0.04244 203 147 42 14
468 Well you said we'd be guarding the castle. What did you think I'd wear? 1.3448 0.04363 174 123 42 9
469 You're not taking guard duty very seriously. 1.3448 0.04729 174 128 32 14
470 Oh, part-time. I'm between invasions. 1.3445 0.04159 209 151 44 14
471 The kids knighted me and then ran off. 1.3443 0.04627 183 135 33 15
472 They let you choose your suit? 1.3441 0.04637 186 138 32 16
473 I only guard the castles. You keep your eye on the ocean. 1.3438 0.04284 192 138 42 12
474 I was told that I would need protection from the Sun. 1.3434 0.04736 166 121 33 12
475 You got a 9 to 5, so I’ll take the knight shift. 1.3432 0.04897 169 126 28 15
476 You guard your way, I'll guard mine. 1.3429 0.04706 175 129 32 14
477 Can we agree that everyone in a Speedo is the enemy? 1.3425 0.04458 181 131 38 12
478 Whaddya mean, “Knights in shining armor are so 12th century”? 1.3421 0.04501 190 140 35 15
479 If a rescue involves going in the water, I think it best that you handle it. 1.3420 0.04390 193 141 38 14
480 Sharks? No, I'm just overseeing the imminent destruction of an empire. 1.3418 0.04462 196 145 35 16
481 Sorry sometimes my son takes things way to far 1.3416 0.04671 161 116 35 10
482 I told them I wanted night work! 1.3416 0.04423 202 150 35 17
483 Well, actually, it's a representation of my lord's castle. I'm working remotely. 1.3412 0.04873 170 127 28 15
484 This? Oh, it's SPF 1450. 1.3409 0.04613 176 129 34 13
485 The toughest part is, the moat makes me want to pee." 1.3409 0.04887 176 133 26 17
486 No rescues, got bored, what can I say? 1.3404 0.04469 188 138 36 14
487 Just letting you know - I’m not getting this suit wet. 1.3404 0.04595 188 140 32 16
488 Why do you think I added a moat? 1.3401 0.04501 197 147 33 17
489 Not to worry, it has flood insurance. 1.3400 0.04160 200 144 44 12
490 Can you put a little oil on my back? 1.3400 0.04038 200 142 48 10
491 Have you ever entered The New Yorker Caption Contest? 1.3392 0.04919 171 129 26 16
492 This used to attract girls. Once upon a time. 1.3391 0.04647 174 128 33 13
493 Why, yes, this is SPF 1560. 1.3391 0.04647 174 128 33 13
494 Well yes, I'm able to bronze without sunscreen. 1.3390 0.04660 177 131 32 14
495 I consider this my starter castle. 1.3390 0.04376 177 127 40 10
496 Yes, I'm hot! 1.3389 0.04398 180 130 39 11
497 The kid's a Bitcoin Billionaire so I get paid a LOT to wear this and guard his castle. 1.3384 0.04185 198 143 43 12
498 I thought they said “suit up?” 1.3381 0.05060 139 101 29 9
499 This is the only suit I have. 1.3377 0.04688 151 108 35 8
500 Sunblock is overrated. 1.3377 0.04593 151 107 37 7
501 Nice suit! 1.3374 0.04541 163 117 37 9
502 Thanks for holding the fort 1.3371 0.04480 175 127 37 11
503 I think the place is a little misleading from the brochures 1.3371 0.04499 178 130 36 12
504 Wait, this is low tide? 1.3370 0.04329 184 133 40 11
505 Would you mind watching my fiefdom while I take a leek? 1.3369 0.04543 187 139 33 15
506 Darn it. I hate getting all suited up, and then nature calls. Can you mind the fort for a while? 1.3368 0.04236 190 137 42 11
507 I hope no one is drowning. I'm a little rusty. 1.3367 0.04168 199 144 43 12
508 When you drop out of knight school you don't have many choices. 1.3356 0.05076 146 108 27 11
509 I'll be out of a job once the tide comes in. 1.3354 0.04658 161 117 34 10
510 The job description said was to guard a castle! 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
511 Don't waste your time: the crocodiles will get them before they drown. 1.3353 0.04585 173 127 34 12
512 One big wave and I'm out of a job. 1.3353 0.04658 173 128 32 13
513 I only save damsels. 1.3352 0.03839 182 125 53 4
514 Doth ye’ not care for thy skin? 1.3352 0.04693 182 137 29 16
515 You take the ocean, and I'll take the castle. 1.3352 0.04216 182 130 43 9
516 Of course I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ve rusted in place. 1.3333 0.04414 198 148 34 16
517 The king said he wouldn't hire me without any experience. 1.3333 0.04183 174 123 44 7
518 I had been working re-moatly. 1.3333 0.04634 162 118 34 10
519 A deeper moat, now that you mention it, would’ve been a pretty good idea. 1.3333 0.04550 162 117 36 9
520 Things get dicey at high tide. 1.3333 0.04521 168 122 36 10
521 Can you watch my castle for twenty minutes? I need to pee. 1.3333 0.04338 183 133 39 11
522 What can I say, the kid gave me $100 to guard his castle." 1.3333 0.04826 168 126 28 14
523 I'll save the fair maidens. You can save everyone else. 1.3333 0.04796 162 120 30 12
524 I've got the moat. 1.3333 0.04467 171 124 37 10
525 It's called Remoat Control. 1.3333 0.04474 183 135 35 13
526 Attila is on his way and that's all you're wearing? 1.3333 0.04415 174 126 38 10
527 Try to ask again without sounding so judgy. 1.3333 0.04602 150 107 36 7
528 Honestly, lifeguarding is not a job for the middle-aged. 1.3333 0.05009 156 117 26 13
529 I'll take moat rescues, you take the rest. 1.3333 0.04277 168 119 42 7
530 You rescue the commoners. I'll stay ashore defending the 1% 1.3333 0.04457 180 132 36 12
531 Hot one today, huh? 1.3333 0.04495 165 119 37 9
532 Knight takes rook 1.3333 0.04635 174 129 32 13
533 The armor might be overkill, but the sun protection factor is off the charts. 1.3316 0.04419 190 141 35 14
534 You save the swimmers. I'll save the Queen. 1.3315 0.04249 184 133 41 10
535 The prices of real estate force everyone to downsize. 1.3315 0.04585 184 138 31 15
536 Dost thou save castles too? 1.3314 0.04541 175 129 34 12
537 It's the original sun block. 1.3314 0.04289 172 123 41 8
538 My contract only covers the damsels in distress. 1.3313 0.04133 166 116 45 5
539 The construction was completely funded with sand dollars. 1.3313 0.04610 163 119 34 10
540 The thought of a water rescue really gives me a sinking feeling. 1.3313 0.04927 163 123 26 14
541 Heavy? Yeah. But it's the holy grail of sunscreen. 1.3313 0.04752 160 118 31 11
542 Check, your move 1.3312 0.04729 157 115 32 10
543 It's not a moat, damnit, it's a line in the sand. 1.3310 0.04800 145 105 32 8
544 I was demoated. 1.3310 0.04969 142 104 29 9
545 Didn't anyone tell you about the dress code? 1.3300 0.04099 203 148 43 12
546 I’ll need your help at high tide. 1.3299 0.04365 197 147 35 15
547 Anybody in the moat is my problem. 1.3297 0.04298 185 135 39 11
548 It was the only way I could get re-moat work as a knight-watchman. 1.3296 0.04395 179 131 37 11
549 I could've done better but I'm a little rusty. 1.3295 0.04446 176 129 36 11
550 I’m just the lifeguard for people who swim in the moat. 1.3295 0.04446 176 129 36 11
551 You gotta wait 30 minutes after jousting before swimming. 1.3293 0.04420 164 118 38 8
552 On guard? 1.3291 0.04789 158 117 30 11
553 Im directing the siege. 1.3290 0.04587 155 112 35 8
554 How am I mansplaining? 1.3289 0.04920 152 113 28 11
555 I used to work at the food court. 1.3289 0.04646 152 110 34 8
556 A caption! A caption! My kingdom for a caption! 1.3280 0.04542 186 140 31 15
557 Are you sure you’re not in distress? 1.3277 0.04637 177 133 30 14
558 This and $500K from my parents got me in to U.S.C. 1.3275 0.04606 171 127 32 12
559 Just the fair maidens. I watch the tanned ones drown.” 1.3273 0.04876 165 125 26 14
560 Sunscreen? 1.3272 0.04620 162 119 33 10
561 Used to be that we would just let the crocs take care of the swimmers 1.3272 0.04783 162 121 29 12
562 I’m going to arrest that guy. This area is swimming only and he keeps walking on the water. 1.3272 0.04940 162 123 25 14
563 I guess Rome was built in a day 1.3272 0.04783 162 121 29 12
564 100% UVA proof. Try it! 1.3266 0.04268 199 148 37 14
565 They told me I'd be protecting a castle. They didn't tell me it was a sand castle. 1.3265 0.04938 147 109 28 10
566 ...so then I enrolled in knight school. 1.3264 0.05105 144 108 25 11
567 You may think I look silly, but this armor is SPF 500. 1.3263 0.04214 190 139 40 11
568 To be honest, all I heard was “guard” and “castle”. 1.3262 0.04122 187 135 43 9
569 I'll protect the castle if you save anyone who falls into the moat. 1.3262 0.04457 187 140 33 14
570 What can I say? This is the Hamptons. People are very protective of their real estate. 1.3261 0.04618 138 98 35 5
571 Is it hot out here, or is it just me? 1.3261 0.04237 184 134 40 10
572 Yes, it is like a sauna in here... 1.3256 0.04432 172 126 36 10
573 But what I really want to do is direct. 1.3256 0.04432 172 126 36 10
574 It was either this or sunscreen. 1.3253 0.04619 166 123 32 11
575 You can play the damsel in distress 1.3250 0.04738 160 119 30 11
576 I guard against knight swimmers 1.3250 0.04820 160 120 28 12
577 Look, factor 30 will only protect you from the sun for so long. 1.3248 0.04714 157 116 31 10
578 It’s hard to get off at the end of the day, but you can’t beat SPF 1600. 1.3247 0.04402 194 146 33 15
579 One of us might be redundant." 1.3247 0.04777 154 114 30 10
580 I got the beach, you watch the water. 1.3243 0.04909 148 110 28 10
581 So when Ted Cruz tried to introduce himself, I held my breath and pretended to be a cell phone tower. 1.3243 0.05002 148 111 26 11
582 I'm watching it for a friend. 1.3240 0.04163 179 129 42 8
583 Have you seen my seahorse? 1.3239 0.05150 142 107 24 11
584 I’ll watch the castle, you watch the moat. 1.3237 0.04094 173 123 44 6
585 No. The size of a knight’s manhood isn’t proportional to the size of his castle 1.3237 0.04633 173 130 30 13
586 I gotta pee. Watch my castle.... 1.3235 0.04764 170 129 27 14
587 I’m ready for the Trojan seahorse! 1.3235 0.04462 170 125 35 10
588 They wanted me to start out small. 1.3234 0.04595 167 124 32 11
589 You watch for sharks. I’ll watch for damsels in distress. 1.3234 0.04595 167 124 32 11
590 A cold beer, a cold beer! My kingdom for a cold beer! 1.3230 0.05031 161 124 22 15
591 We started with Civil War re-enactments 1.3229 0.04242 192 142 38 12
592 I'll be irrelevant in like fifteen minutes. When are you free? 1.3228 0.04602 158 116 33 9
593 Our spies warn of invasion by sea. 1.3226 0.04401 186 139 34 13
594 Is that all you're wearing? 1.3224 0.04451 183 137 33 13
595 Look, you save the swimmers, I'll guard the castle. 1.3224 0.04535 152 110 35 7
596 I have "Turrets Syndrome." 1.3224 0.04992 152 115 25 12
597 It’s actually a huge step up from dungeon master. 1.3224 0.04992 152 115 25 12
598 The women wanted to be rescued by a knight in shining armor. 1.3221 0.05063 149 113 24 12
599 Royal assignment from the king. You? 1.3221 0.04973 149 112 26 11
600 I'll only rescue the damsels in distress. The rest are yours! 1.3220 0.03952 177 125 47 5
601 You save 'em your way, and I'll save 'em mine. 1.3219 0.04755 146 107 31 8
602 100% SPF and confuses the seagulls. 1.3219 0.04755 146 107 31 8
603 Dibs on damsels in distress. 1.3216 0.04282 171 124 39 8
604 On the next episode of Medievel Baywatch . . . 1.3216 0.04740 171 130 27 14
605 And you’re guarding…what? 1.3214 0.04784 140 102 31 7
606 This is just a part time summer gig, I work re-moat-ly during the week. 1.3212 0.04862 165 126 25 14
607 Marauding toddlers are the biggest threat 1.3212 0.04962 137 101 28 8
608 I think I misinterpreted the role of 'lifeguard'. 1.3208 0.04664 159 118 31 10
609 I ran out of sunscreen. 1.3204 0.04198 181 132 40 9
610 I'd like to add a drawbridge but I'm a little rusty. 1.3203 0.04877 153 115 27 11
611 This is one of the few jobs available in my field. 1.3203 0.04697 153 113 31 9
612 Doesn't matter, I can't swim anyway. 1.3200 0.04665 150 110 32 8
613 You guard the shore line, and I’ll take care of the moat. 1.3200 0.04214 175 127 40 8
614 It’s one thing to build a castle. It’s another to defend it. 1.3198 0.04418 172 127 35 10
615 You said you loved Summer Knights 1.3198 0.04418 172 127 35 10
616 Pillaging just wasn't working out. 1.3194 0.04691 144 105 32 7
617 You protect the swimmers, I'll guard the castle! 1.3193 0.04276 166 120 39 7
618 I'm keeping an eye out for wooden seahorses. 1.3191 0.04614 188 145 26 17
619 Yes, I get the pun … feudal and futile . 1.3190 0.04743 163 123 28 12
620 I once had a mackerel stuck in my breastplate. 1.3189 0.04274 185 137 37 11
621 Your shield has a hole in it. 1.3188 0.05141 138 104 24 10
622 What do you mean it's going to be a volleyball tournament? 1.3188 0.05141 138 104 24 10
623 His father hired me after FEMA declined to insure it. 1.3188 0.04553 160 118 33 9
624 I’m more of a fief guard. 1.3185 0.05114 135 101 25 9
625 Well, you know. "Dress for the job you want..." 1.3185 0.05221 135 102 23 10
626 We lost funding for the Renaissance Faire. 1.3185 0.04611 157 116 32 9
627 I'm the Knight Watch. 1.3184 0.04298 179 132 37 10
628 Alright, I’ll take the knight shift. 1.3184 0.04441 179 134 33 12
629 They don’t let you just go slay dragons right away, you have to start at the bottom. 1.3182 0.04761 154 115 29 10
630 Honestly, the moat does most of the work. 1.3182 0.04849 154 116 27 11
631 It’s just a starter castle. 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
632 Jimmy'll be back after a short siege on Nathan's castle and a snack with his mom. 1.3179 0.04319 173 127 37 9
633 my daughter’s a bit of a princess 1.3179 0.04639 151 111 32 8
634 It's my weekend with the kids. 1.3176 0.04207 170 123 40 7
635 My highchair for a horse. 1.3176 0.05077 148 113 23 12
636 They finally cut the royal purse strings. It was this or the bouncy castle. 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
637 You rescue the swimmers; I’m guarding the castle. 1.3174 0.04169 167 120 41 6
638 And what was the bet? 1.3169 0.04727 142 104 31 7
639 Yes, it's definitely a chick magnet. 1.3168 0.04172 161 115 41 5
640 I'm going to Knight school. This is only my summer job. 1.3168 0.04529 161 119 33 9
641 If I don't defend the castle who will? 1.3165 0.05006 139 104 26 9
642 I’m here guarding the castle. What are you doing here? 1.3161 0.04735 155 116 29 10
643 You may protect the sea, but I protect the land. 1.3161 0.04822 155 117 27 11
644 Well, I had to diversify my portfolio. In the fall it's back to a birthday party clown. 1.3161 0.04735 155 116 29 10
645 The king said breach, I heard beach. 1.3161 0.04375 174 129 35 10
646 “So, three whistles and we bring in all the king’s horses and all the king’s men?” 1.3161 0.04450 174 130 33 11
647 This week I'm working the knight shift. 1.3158 0.04320 152 109 38 5
648 I told them I was a castle guard. I was expecting a bit more. 1.3158 0.04707 152 113 30 9
649 You'd be surprised at how many moat rescues I perform. 1.3155 0.04148 168 121 41 6
650 Why does that guy with the metal detector keep staring at me? 1.3154 0.05009 130 96 27 7
651 Does m'lady carry an oil can with her per chance? 1.3152 0.04614 165 124 30 11
652 But, I’m in charge of guarding the castle. 1.3152 0.04195 165 119 40 6
653 I like to be in the moment, a moment in the 13th century. 1.3147 0.05197 143 110 21 12
654 It belongs to Meghan and Harry 1.3145 0.05653 124 96 17 11
655 Defending my realm is easier than you’d think. 1.3145 0.04474 159 117 34 8
656 It tis I! Sir Sand a Lot! 1.3144 0.04256 194 146 35 13
657 Any tips for getting sand out of a suit? 1.3141 0.04437 156 114 35 7
658 Well, I was supposed to be off today... 1.3141 0.04437 156 114 35 7
659 You just focus on your own job 1.3140 0.04630 172 131 28 13
660 Over the years we've had to downsize 1.3137 0.04948 153 117 24 12
661 Actually, no. It was already here when I arrived. 1.3129 0.04710 147 109 30 8
662 I'll guard the castle; you rescue the sodden maidens. 1.3125 0.04623 160 120 30 10
663 What good is a sandcastle against a sea of troubles? 1.3125 0.05165 144 111 21 12
664 Ive been working re-moatly. 1.3125 0.04774 144 107 29 8
665 You go. I've got the castle. 1.3121 0.04505 157 116 33 8
666 Sure, you saved that swimmer, but I defended the entire castle. 1.3121 0.04841 141 105 28 8
667 I heard tell of a serf uprising. 1.3120 0.05497 125 96 19 10
668 When you posted anonymously on Craigslist that you were hiring security for your son's castle, I had a very different Kingdom in mind. 1.3120 0.05378 125 95 21 9
669 I guess I miss read the ad for Night Watchman. 1.3118 0.04512 170 128 31 11
670 My last summer job was at Medieval Times 1.3117 0.04562 154 114 32 8
671 They are winning, but the tide will turn 1.3117 0.04372 154 112 36 6
672 I’m not convinced this moat needs two lifeguards. 1.3117 0.04745 154 116 28 10
673 I dare you to knock it down. 1.3116 0.04802 138 102 29 7
674 So, you guard the ocean and I'll guard the castle. 1.3115 0.04426 183 139 31 13
675 You take the next one. The water rusts my armor. 1.3108 0.04875 148 112 26 10
676 I was told to cover the knight shift 1.3103 0.04511 174 132 30 12
677 Guard my castle with your life,I’m going on break. 1.3101 0.04570 158 118 31 9
678 The kingdom's biggest concern is rising tides. 1.3101 0.04827 158 121 25 12
679 It's all Donald Trump has left after paying all his taxes and penalties owed. 1.3101 0.05138 129 97 24 8
680 I volunteered to work the “knight” shift. 1.3099 0.04915 142 107 26 9
681 They called me in cuz you let the last one wash away. 1.3099 0.04915 142 107 26 9
682 Until September. It’s a summer knight thing. 1.3098 0.04198 184 137 37 10
683 My dermatologist recommend this 1.3097 0.04718 155 117 28 10
684 Can you keep an eye on things while I go on this quest? 1.3095 0.04132 168 122 40 6
685 My boss is only six. 1.3095 0.05098 126 94 25 7
686 You watch the sea. I'll protect the castle. 1.3094 0.04244 181 135 36 10
687 It’s the newest Trump property. They tell me it’s worth between $0 and $100 million 1.3094 0.05191 139 107 21 11
688 Knights of The Tide Table! 1.3092 0.05300 152 121 15 16
689 If that kid comes back to wreck this castle, he'll get the taste of cold steel. 1.3091 0.04599 165 125 29 11
690 I guess you didn’t hear about the high serf advisory. 1.3089 0.05180 123 92 24 7
691 High tide poses a threat. 1.3087 0.04939 149 114 24 11
692 Of course I can swim with this. With all the mass shootings these days you can't be careful enough. Besides, it's my right to bear armour. 1.3087 0.05294 149 118 16 15
693 All I need is a princess and my kingdom will be complete. 1.3086 0.04657 162 123 28 11
694 I can defend the castle, but I'm too rusty for lifesaving. 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
695 When the invaders come, you're going to need more than zinc oxide. 1.3077 0.04603 156 117 30 9
696 The rising sea level is going to cost us our jobs. 1.3077 0.04441 169 127 32 10
697 I stopped using SPF 15 sunscreen lotion when I discovered that a daily squirt of WD-40 does the trick 1.3073 0.04415 179 136 31 12
698 Can you watch my zone a minute, I need to go ‘slay the dragon’ 1.3072 0.04754 153 116 27 10
699 I'm supposed to hold back the tide with a spear? 1.3071 0.04407 140 101 35 4
700 Hey, let’s see who’s laughing once the crabs attack. 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
701 No,the dragon is real,the sea monster is just a myth. 1.3066 0.05135 137 105 22 10
702 Wait, they’re paying you?! 1.3064 0.04211 173 128 37 8
703 I'm usually on knight watch. 1.3062 0.04775 160 123 25 12
704 Do I tell you how to do your job? 1.3061 0.04488 147 108 33 6
705 So, when do we send in the Trojan crab? 1.3059 0.04573 170 130 28 12
706 I’ll take marauding mythical creatures and water-based sieges if you take anything that requires treading water 1.3058 0.05358 121 92 21 8
707 Lifeguard? No, I'm a prison guard. Nobody escapes from the castle. 1.3057 0.04666 157 119 28 10
708 I know we agreed to support our sons creative spirit, but don’t you think this is a bit much? 1.3057 0.04838 157 121 24 12
709 Sure it’s not practical, but they need incentives to get tourists back. 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
710 Would you possibly know where the king of the castle has gone? 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
711 Why do you put that white stuff on your nose? 1.3054 0.04307 167 124 35 8
712 I'm committed to the bit. 1.3054 0.04307 167 124 35 8
713 Anyone is the water is yours. 1.3053 0.05071 131 99 24 8
714 I thought I was applying for a position at Under Armor as a night watchman 1.3053 0.04584 131 95 32 4
715 Excessive? Have you seen the movie JAWS??? 1.3053 0.04833 131 97 28 6
716 Breach, you say? I could have sworn he said ‘once more unto the beach.’ 1.3052 0.04816 154 118 25 11
717 You take care of the water rescues and I'll defend the castle. 1.3047 0.05150 128 97 23 8
718 Yea, well, you look like you are sitting in a wheelchair. 1.3046 0.04882 151 116 24 11
719 It’s a long tale. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
720 Re: mote control 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
721 On Fridays I’m allowed to wear sandals. 1.3043 0.04230 161 118 37 6
722 We are the first line of defense against Poseidon and his men 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
723 Sunscreen! I knew I was forgetting something. 1.3041 0.04396 171 129 32 10
724 The job description said “appropriate attire.” 1.3041 0.04317 171 128 34 9
725 I fear that a breach of the castle wall is imminent. Before it’s too late, I wanted to tell you that it’s been an honor serving with you. 1.3041 0.04664 148 111 29 8
726 Dibs on drowning damsels, OK? 1.3037 0.04850 135 101 27 7
727 The kids hired me to protect the castle. 1.3034 0.04519 145 107 32 6
728 Some kids asked me to protect their castle. 1.3034 0.04125 178 132 38 8
729 A gig’s a gig, am I right?” 1.3032 0.04232 155 113 37 5
730 What is it that you're protecting? 1.3028 0.05095 142 110 21 11
731 Ugh, I thought I asked for the nightwatch position 1.3028 0.04895 142 108 25 9
732 No, it's not just perspective. My chair really is bigger than yours. 1.3026 0.04671 152 115 28 9
733 What? We have to swim? 1.3026 0.04763 152 116 26 10
734 Just here to watch out for any rough serf. 1.3025 0.05411 119 91 20 8
735 Actually, today’s high tide coincides with the end of chivalry 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
736 I am prepared to defend our castle walls against the rising tide while you, milady, look prepared to join them! 1.3022 0.04860 139 105 26 8
737 You watch the ocean. I've got the sand castle. 1.3020 0.04119 149 107 39 3
738 The work is easy, but it's like an oven in here. 1.3014 0.04699 146 110 28 8
739 My Duchy, my rules! 1.3013 0.04401 156 116 33 7
740 This is a lot easier than my last gig. 1.3013 0.04401 156 116 33 7
741 I appreciate you're wearing a bronzer, but I still maintain I have the better defensive capability. 1.3008 0.04889 133 100 26 7
742 I don't have a lifeguard certification, but what I do have is a very particular set of skills. 1.3007 0.04551 153 115 30 8
743 I thought you only work knights. 1.3000 0.04830 140 106 26 8
744 Sharks? Sure, but what about Viking longboats? 1.3000 0.04612 140 104 30 6
745 Thanks, but I don't use sunscreen. 1.3000 0.04323 170 128 33 9
746 U.S.C...you? 1.3000 0.04935 140 107 24 9
747 Head's up -- the tiny crocs are no joke. 1.3000 0.04512 150 112 31 7
748 Yeah, I don't really worry about sunblock or jellyfish 1.3000 0.04674 120 87 30 3
749 Castle-defense gigs have shrunk a lot over the past millennium. 1.3000 0.04963 130 98 25 7
750 I didn't say, "You come here a lot?" I said, "I'm from Camelot." 1.2994 0.04374 167 126 32 9
751 No point saving people from drowning just to let them fall victim to pirates 1.2994 0.04649 157 120 27 10
752 I'm having trouble adjusting to the Knight shift. 1.2994 0.04560 157 119 29 9
753 This is my first time doing knight work. 1.2993 0.04570 147 110 30 7
754 Build it and they will come." 1.2993 0.04671 147 111 28 8
755 Thanks. The serf just finished it. 1.2993 0.04570 147 110 30 7
756 Everyone asks for a knight in shining armour, so there. 1.2992 0.05161 127 97 22 8
757 I'm here to defend the honor of the King Crab. 1.2992 0.04784 127 94 28 5
758 Beware the tides of March 1.2988 0.04426 164 124 31 9
759 The suit of armor has better protection than any SPF. 1.2987 0.04431 154 115 32 7
760 It's not easy working the knight shift 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
761 High tide? What do you mean? 1.2985 0.05193 134 104 20 10
762 It's hard to say what is the dumbest part of this job. 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
763 It looked so big when I was small. 1.2982 0.04055 171 126 39 6
764 I will do anything to protect my beachside property. 1.2982 0.04302 171 129 33 9
765 The metal detector guy worries me the most. 1.2981 0.04814 161 126 22 13
766 I'll handle castle insurrection. You take care of everything else. 1.2979 0.04585 141 105 30 6
767 I’m on the knight shift 1.2977 0.04686 131 97 29 5
768 I'm trying to trade it for a horse. No takers. 1.2977 0.04809 131 98 27 6
769 Actually the permit was easy. It's a tiny castle so it's seen as an accessory dweling. 1.2975 0.04623 158 121 27 10
770 What are you protecting? 1.2975 0.04164 158 116 37 5
771 I'm a temp. The job ends when the tide comes in. 1.2973 0.05519 111 85 19 7
772 Need a pee break. Would you hold my spear? 1.2971 0.04413 138 101 33 4
773 How long is our bathroom break? 1.2971 0.04869 138 105 25 8
774 It’s SPF 90 and I don’t need to reapply after I go in the water either. 1.2970 0.04318 165 124 33 8
775 No, actually, it's the titanium codpiece that's hot and uncomfortable. 1.2970 0.04567 165 127 27 11
776 We fully intend to hold out indefinitely. 1.2969 0.05005 128 97 24 7
777 Yeah it’s hot, but never any dragons and I’m done for the day once high tide hits. 1.2969 0.05005 128 97 24 7
778 Oh I’ll drown for sure. 1.2969 0.05245 128 99 20 9
779 Sometimes a moat is not enough. 1.2968 0.04406 155 116 32 7
780 To be clear, I'm only here for the sandcastle. 1.2968 0.04501 155 117 30 8
781 Dost thou have the coconut scented hinge oil? 1.2966 0.04861 118 87 27 4
782 I am telling you, LinkedIn job descriptions are getting harder and harder to interpret. 1.2966 0.05424 118 91 19 8
783 The poorer swimmers have learned not to go in the water on lifeguard medieval costume days. 1.2963 0.04280 162 121 34 7
784 Call me Sir Sinksalot one more time and see what happens! 1.2963 0.04541 162 124 28 10
785 SPF 1240. Yours? 1.2961 0.04652 152 116 27 9
786 Have you seen a six inch horse pulling a three inch chariot? 1.2958 0.04557 142 106 30 6
787 SPF 1000 has its downsides. 1.2958 0.04557 142 106 30 6
788 'Scuse me but you happen to know when high tide is? 1.2958 0.04771 142 108 26 8
789 Ha ha. I get it. I’m gonna need a bigger moat… 1.2957 0.05380 115 88 20 7
790 That’s Praetorian lifeguard to you. 1.2956 0.04684 159 123 25 11
791 Yeah, yeah. Just let me do my job, lady. 1.2956 0.04421 159 120 31 8
792 Your whistle will be no match for the invading hordes! 1.2955 0.05014 132 101 23 8
793 We're expecting the combined Viking/Saxon force to try to overrun the fort somewheres around teatime. 1.2955 0.05014 132 101 23 8
794 I'm here to save the seahorses. 1.2955 0.05128 132 102 21 9
795 There's no wrong way to fight the rising tide. 1.2951 0.05032 122 92 24 6
796 'I'd worry more about the tide, Arthur.' 1.2951 0.05032 122 92 24 6
797 It's the new SPF 5000. I'm protected against harmful UV rays, hyperpigmentation, and dragons. 1.2950 0.05049 139 108 21 10
798 The ad said guard needed for beachfront castle with moat. 1.2950 0.05049 139 108 21 10
799 You take care of swimmers, and I’ll make sure nobody attacks the castle. 1.2950 0.04729 139 105 27 7
800 I am guarding the Trump Castle valued in excess of 20 million dollars!!!! 1.2950 0.04945 139 107 23 9
801 I put on a little show at high tide. Dance around and sing. Costume's hot but the tips are good, the ones that don't wash away. 1.2950 0.04504 139 103 31 5
802 It’s the only job I can find guarding a castle 1.2950 0.04504 139 103 31 5
803 Got this side gig working security. Fifty bucks a castle. 1.2950 0.04504 139 103 31 5
804 By any chance have you seen a loose dragon? 1.2946 0.04971 129 98 24 7
805 You’re making fun of me again, aren’t you? 1.2946 0.05437 129 102 16 11
806 Stay alert! Thy children aproacheth. 1.2946 0.05092 129 99 22 8
807 ...because sun block kills coral! 1.2941 0.05642 119 94 15 10
808 If you ask me, sunglasses are not the best disguise. 1.2941 0.04676 119 87 29 3
809 S.P.F. one million, baby! 1.2941 0.04626 153 117 27 9
810 It does get hot, but it's SPF one million 1.2941 0.04225 170 128 34 8
811 In hindsight,I should have asked more questions when that kid said there was a castle to guard. 1.2941 0.04908 136 104 24 8
812 I can't decide what's worse--the uniform or the lack of job security. 1.2937 0.04742 143 109 26 8
813 We're thinking about joining NATO. 1.2937 0.04790 126 94 27 5
814 I'm here to make sure no one storms the castle. 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
815 The job description was very confusing 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
816 The little brat's parents paid me a hundred bucks to wear the armour. 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
817 Harry and Megan can be nostalgic sometimes. 1.2931 0.05051 116 87 24 5
818 I said I would hold the Fort and that’s exactly what I intend to do Muriel. 1.2931 0.05340 116 89 20 7
819 If I rust, oil me. 1.2924 0.04285 171 130 32 9
820 I'm a little rusty." 1.2922 0.04506 154 117 29 8
821 Sometimes I just need to feel like a hero. 1.2920 0.05433 113 87 19 7
822 Sorry, I'm tilting at windmills after work. 1.2920 0.05433 113 87 19 7
823 Changing of the guard 1.2920 0.04986 137 106 22 9
824 I can't swim so they gave me this 1.2917 0.04915 144 112 22 10
825 I should've splurged for the stainless. 1.2917 0.04416 168 129 29 10
826 I'm here to prevent the kingdom's erosion of power. 1.2913 0.04758 127 95 27 5
827 I'm watching out for a Trojan seahorse. 1.2911 0.04335 158 119 32 7
828 Thou hast seen nothing yet. 1.2910 0.04345 134 98 33 3
829 I may get heat stroke, but at least I won’t get sunburnt. 1.2910 0.04472 134 99 31 4
830 These days, we’ve been reduced to Camelittle. 1.2910 0.05383 134 107 15 12
831 I thought size didn’t matter. 1.2908 0.04884 141 109 23 9
832 It looked so much bigger when I was a kid 1.2905 0.04523 148 112 29 7
833 My skin IS protected. 1.2903 0.04962 124 94 24 6
834 My job is to protect the serf’s turf from the surf. 1.2903 0.05343 124 97 18 9
835 I don’t think you’re taking this seriously enough, Susan! 1.2903 0.04962 124 94 24 6
836 I seek the Holy Pail 1.2901 0.04523 162 125 27 10
837 There was a dragon sighting here in 1674, so we need to be ready. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
838 Ever feel like you’re in the wrong job? 1.2901 0.04660 131 98 28 5
839 Stay in your lane, Karen. I shall protect the castle. 1.2901 0.05024 131 101 22 8
840 I"m starting to lose my enthusiasm for the gig economy. 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
841 Marry me and the castle is yours. 1.2899 0.04846 138 106 24 8
842 Aren't you glad this is an armor optional beach? 1.2895 0.04781 114 84 27 3
843 They did not issue me a whistle. 1.2895 0.04781 114 84 27 3
844 I’m transitioning back to the era I was born for. 1.2895 0.04726 152 118 24 10
845 I've always enjoyed knight-work. 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
846 I would recommend just a basic SPF50 cream bro. 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
847 Can you pass the oil? 1.2889 0.04803 135 103 25 7
848 "Normally I keep an eye on the castle at home via web-cam, but I lost my remoat. 1.2887 0.04853 142 110 23 9
849 I wanted to be king of the castle for once. 1.2887 0.04955 142 111 21 10
850 You're late. My shift was supposed to be over six hundred years ago. 1.2887 0.04643 142 108 27 7
851 The mutton and ale was quite good but I was ordered to wait at least twenty minutes before swimming. 1.2887 0.04643 142 108 27 7
852 What is this “sunscreen,” of which you speak? 1.2885 0.04363 156 118 31 7
853 Obviously, one of us is not dressed correctly for the duty! 1.2883 0.05779 111 88 14 9
854 Barbarians? No, toddlers. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
855 At night I'm an Uber driver. 1.2881 0.05529 118 93 16 9
856 Yes. A tad warm. But they told me it's more effective than sun screen. 1.2879 0.04373 132 97 32 3
857 How’d you like to have the knight of your life? 1.2879 0.04873 132 101 24 7
858 I am Sir Lancelot, Jr., Protector of Sandelot. 1.2878 0.04816 139 107 24 8
859 The crabs are particularly aggressive during mating season. 1.2877 0.04555 146 111 28 7
860 SPF 10,000 is my minimum. 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
861 So SPF isn't code for 'Spartan-protected fortress?' 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
862 Back in the day invasions were commonplace around here 1.2876 0.04512 153 117 28 8
863 You’ll understand when you have kids. 1.2870 0.05491 115 90 17 8
864 I've become your knight in shining armor. I've built you a castle. Why are you still complaining? 1.2870 0.05491 115 90 17 8
865 I call dibs on damsels in distress. 1.2869 0.05004 122 93 23 6
866 I think it’s SPF CXIV 1.2869 0.05004 122 93 23 6
867 I may have to take a swim, I have sand in my suit 1.2869 0.04580 122 90 29 3
868 You save the people from drowning; I'll save them from their fears. 1.2869 0.04866 122 92 25 5
869 Last time they snuck in disguised as a giant sea horse 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
870 You take the day watch and I'll take the night watch. 1.2868 0.04417 136 101 31 4
871 What time do you get off? 1.2868 0.04538 136 102 29 5
872 Another unpaid internship. 1.2868 0.04995 136 106 21 9
873 Looking out for dragon flies. 1.2867 0.04266 150 112 33 5
874 You save the swimmers, leave the siege to me. 1.2867 0.04370 150 113 31 6
875 What do YOU use for Sunblock? 1.2866 0.04612 157 122 25 10
876 The employment agency left out a few details. 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
877 How do you like Medieval Tides? 1.2857 0.04335 140 104 32 4
878 I got burned at my last job. 1.2857 0.05071 133 104 20 9
879 I’m guarding against Trojan seahorses. 1.2857 0.04729 147 114 24 9
880 If they attack by sea, they're in for a big surprise. 1.2857 0.05071 133 104 20 9
881 If you see a wooden seahorse coming ashore; Please let me know. 1.2857 0.05356 119 93 18 8
882 I was downsized. 1.2857 0.04600 133 100 28 5
883 I'll guard the castle, you guard my life - deal? 1.2857 0.04566 140 106 28 6
884 It offers full protection against melanoma and body shamers. 1.2857 0.05141 112 85 22 5
885 Are you on TikTok? 1.2857 0.04841 133 102 24 7
886 Just leave the damsels for me. 1.2857 0.04212 133 97 34 2
887 Where is this Tide of which you speak? I will run him through! 1.2857 0.05222 119 92 20 7
888 It’s all about the first line of defense. 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
889 You do you. 1.2848 0.04734 151 118 23 10
890 I'll protect the land; you protect the sea 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
891 You’ll have to rescue my sand castle salt water will rust my armour 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
892 I’m sworn to protect the kingdom. 1.2845 0.04868 116 87 25 4
893 I'll defend my castle to the death. You can deal with saving drowning people. 1.2840 0.04242 162 123 32 7
894 You can never be too prepared. 1.2833 0.05046 120 92 22 6
895 If I sink, you swim. 1.2833 0.04906 120 91 24 5
896 I'm off tomorrow so you will have to hold the fort down. 1.2832 0.04944 113 85 24 4
897 Forget the fort, one more big wave and I am going to need an oil can. 1.2832 0.05402 113 88 18 7
898 Stand ready, the tide may turn yet. 1.2829 0.04320 152 115 31 6
899 My shift ends when the tide comes in. 1.2826 0.04239 138 102 33 3
900 Dibs on Damsels. 1.2826 0.04598 138 105 27 6
901 My kingdom for a lemonade. 1.2823 0.04517 124 92 29 3
902 You take over when the moat fills in! 1.2821 0.04832 117 88 25 4
903 Baron Trump hired me to guard his castle. 1.2821 0.05270 117 91 19 7
904 In cosplay, I’m Sir Sandalot. But cmy friends call me Rusty. 1.2821 0.05128 117 90 21 6
905 Didn't you used to guard Barbie's Dream House? 1.2819 0.04673 149 116 24 9
906 It’s not helicopter parenting. My son is just meticulous when it comes to detail. 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
907 You know it’s not a real castle, right? 1.2817 0.04620 142 109 26 7
908 It was this or my birthday suit. 1.2817 0.04727 142 110 24 8
909 You can be lifeguard during the day and I'll be the knight guard. 1.2815 0.04778 135 104 24 7
910 Knight takes castle. 1.2815 0.04418 135 101 30 4
911 I've got an extra visor. 1.2815 0.04661 135 103 26 6
912 You should do it. I'm too rusty. 1.2812 0.04565 128 96 28 4
913 You watch the water. I’ll watch the kingdom. 1.2812 0.04698 128 97 26 5
914 Yeah, this version of Spamalot is pretty off-Broadway. 1.2812 0.04287 128 94 32 2
915 It could be worse, you know... I could be guarding a real castle in my Speedo right now... 1.2808 0.04635 146 113 25 8
916 Doth the tiny damsel per chance swim? 1.2807 0.05361 114 89 18 7
917 What are you guarding? 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
918 No, I’ve been rusted in place since my last rescue attempt. 1.2806 0.05005 139 110 19 10
919 You'll have to rescue the swimmers---I'm here to defend the castle. 1.2804 0.04932 107 80 24 3
920 So you think you are keeping them safer? 1.2803 0.04965 132 103 21 8
921 I can handle most problems, but that high tide thing is a real bitch. 1.2803 0.04602 132 100 27 5
922 My castle needs a bigger moat. 1.2803 0.04344 132 98 31 3
923 You should see my real castle. 1.2803 0.04602 132 100 27 5
924 Baywatchingham. 1.2800 0.04899 125 96 23 6
925 I don't need any sun screen, thanks, but if you have some WD40... 1.2800 0.04741 150 118 22 10
926 SURE,,, you protect all the swimmers,,, but I'm watching over an entire fortress,,, 1.2800 0.05156 125 98 19 8
927 What's my name? I 'm Nathan Franks, King Of All Coney Island Sand Castles and I dub thee Princess Inquisitive Of Queens. 1.2800 0.04899 125 96 23 6
928 Let me know if you see anyone who looks distressed. 1.2800 0.04741 150 118 22 10
929 I’m hoping they attack by land. 1.2797 0.04372 143 108 30 5
930 And after I made the first one, everybody started making them. 1.2797 0.04797 118 89 25 4
931 Is your chair creaking? 1.2797 0.04946 118 90 23 5
932 I always wanted a place near the water! 1.2794 0.04972 136 107 20 9
933 You call that guarding? 1.2794 0.04512 136 103 28 5
934 No bully is going kick sand in MY face. 1.2792 0.04171 154 116 33 5
935 I know you told everyone you're on the "knight shift" Debra, you are hilarious." 1.2791 0.04535 129 97 28 4
936 My realtor says it will sell for well over $1 million. 1.2791 0.04535 129 97 28 4
937 I’ll cover the near shore incidents. Also, serpents. 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
938 You take jellyfish, sharks, and drownings. I've got dragons, soil erosion, and marauding barbarians covered 1.2787 0.04974 122 94 22 6
939 You keep an eye on on the swimmers. I'll keep an eye out for someone storming the castle. 1.2787 0.04974 122 94 22 6
940 Well, you told me to stop building castles in the air. 1.2787 0.05239 122 96 18 8
941 I don't go in the water. 1.2786 0.04188 140 104 33 3
942 Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! 1.2783 0.05461 115 91 16 8
943 the brochure said a day and a knight at the beach 1.2783 0.05024 115 88 22 5
944 With gas prices so high, this is the closest we’re getting to Camelot right now. 1.2783 0.05319 115 90 18 7
945 I only use it for epic rescues.” 1.2783 0.04711 115 86 26 3
946 It's your coast. I'm just here for knight school. 1.2782 0.04932 133 104 21 8
947 I'll defend us on land if you'll cover the seas. 1.2778 0.04597 126 95 27 4
948 Chivalry is not dead! 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
949 Epstein didn’t kill himself. 1.2778 0.05362 126 101 15 10
950 Ran out of sun block. 1.2778 0.04456 126 94 29 3
951 I’ve got the moat, you watch the rest. 1.2778 0.04669 144 112 24 8
952 Ok, my turn: I fought valiantly in the crusades, I served my liege Lord in valor and faith, aaand… I put myself through college delivering pizzas. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
953 Your move. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
954 Sinking swimmers might be your thing, but rising tide is mine. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
955 I’ve always told my liege that a good moat is the best defense. 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
956 At least I don't have to worry about sunburn. 1.2770 0.04479 148 114 27 7
957 My SPF number? I find 3 in 1 works best for me. 1.2769 0.05006 130 102 20 8
958 The castle needs guarding. You don’t stop being a castle guard because you’re on vacation. 1.2769 0.04886 130 101 22 7
959 Did you get demoted too? 1.2769 0.04635 130 99 26 5
960 The key is to stop the tide from encroaching 1.2768 0.04947 112 85 23 4
961 You are the day guard; I’m the knight guard 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
962 I think we've got the waterfront covered. 1.2764 0.05072 123 96 20 7
963 I told him it kinda defeats the purpose of the moat but the king insisted. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
964 King Arthur does have quite the sense of humor. 1.2763 0.04298 152 116 30 6
965 Long story, but in the end I was de-moated 1.2762 0.05496 105 82 17 6
966 Ever feel like you're bigger than your job? 1.2761 0.04784 134 104 23 7
967 It’s like watching history on fast forward. 1.2761 0.04784 134 104 23 7
968 I'm saving on sunscreen, Gwen... 1.2761 0.05013 134 106 19 9
969 It's a money pit. 1.2759 0.05279 116 91 18 7
970 I like to pretend the crabs are viking raiders... 1.2759 0.04834 116 88 24 4
971 After this caption contest is over, how ‘bout you and I go out for a few meads? 1.2756 0.04688 156 124 21 11
972 Dragons, sea monsters or unruly five year olds, I'm ready for it all. 1.2756 0.04959 127 99 21 7
973 You watch the surf, and I’ll watch the serfs. 1.2756 0.04566 127 96 27 4
974 I'm freelancing this summer 1.2756 0.04427 127 95 29 3
975 Do you have any suntan oil? I'm beginning to rust. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
976 They told me to dress for the occasion, but they were not clear about what it was. . . 1.2752 0.05354 109 85 18 6
977 I’m not a lifeguard, I’m just guarding the sand castle 1.2752 0.04748 149 118 21 10
978 Caesar sent me to look out for the tide’s of March. 1.2750 0.05153 120 94 19 7
979 Watch out for THE serf?....... I've got hundreds. 1.2748 0.05089 131 104 18 9
980 With this lifeguard shortage, it was just easier for them to hire me to guard the water from swimmers. 1.2748 0.05089 131 104 18 9
981 First day on the job?" 1.2745 0.05601 102 80 16 6
982 In the battle to defend the castle, I don't think I will be able to turn the tide 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
983 You better take the first rescue. I'll hold down then fort. 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
984 The job listing didn’t specify the type of castle I’d be guarding. 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
985 It seems the enemy is at our gates. 1.2742 0.04768 124 95 24 5
986 They're downsizing at Camelot 1.2742 0.04485 124 93 28 3
987 It's sink or swim, really 1.2742 0.04768 124 95 24 5
988 So have you actually seen this serf we are guarding? 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
989 I'm just protecting the Castle. 1.2741 0.04262 135 101 31 3
990 Well thank you. How? Gorilla Glue. 1.2740 0.04403 146 112 28 6
991 So, what's on your bucket list? 1.2740 0.04403 146 112 28 6
992 Mine's a one piece, no spandex, but a lot of sunscreen protection. 1.2740 0.04613 146 114 24 8
993 I'm battling the serf. 1.2736 0.05451 106 83 17 6
994 Yeah, my liege got me this summer internship. 1.2734 0.04535 128 97 27 4
995 Funny you should ask. 1.2734 0.04535 128 97 27 4
996 A canopener, a canopener. my kingdom for a canopener. 1.2734 0.04668 128 98 25 5
997 I am but a summer intern. 1.2734 0.04668 128 98 25 5
998 I trained with a different red cross. 1.2734 0.04658 139 108 24 7
999 I fear I’ve misunderstood something. 1.2734 0.04544 139 107 26 6
1000 Are you even taking this seriously? 1.2727 0.04839 121 93 23 5
1001 We’re going to need a bigger moat! 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
1002 It''s only temporary. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
1003 This time I’m not letting any wooden Seahorse in my castle! 1.2727 0.05249 121 96 17 8
1004 I’ll joust you for it. 1.2727 0.04178 132 98 32 2
1005 All the agency said was the job involves castles and a coastline. *You* try guarding the south approach from Visigoths in a Speedo. 1.2727 0.04821 132 103 22 7
1006 So I guess I misunderstood when I heard “night watch”… 1.2727 0.04821 132 103 22 7
1007 Yes, you could say I take my job seriously. 1.2721 0.04105 136 101 33 2
1008 SPF 3000. It's highly recommended. 1.2720 0.04454 125 94 28 3
1009 Ron Quixote…and you are? 1.2720 0.04869 125 97 22 6
1010 What is this SPF of which thou speaketh? 1.2719 0.04871 114 87 23 4
1011 Is this the Rubicon? 1.2718 0.05552 103 81 16 6
1012 Ah! I see your point, the female uniform it’s quite unprotected. 1.2715 0.04299 151 116 29 6
1013 Arthur traded me to a four-year-old king. 1.2713 0.04766 129 100 23 6
1014 We're the only kingdom that gets sieged twice a day. 1.2713 0.04891 129 101 21 7
1015 How are you going to save anything wearing that? 1.2713 0.05014 129 102 19 8
1016 Ok, I overdid it with the game of thrones thing 1.2713 0.04891 129 101 21 7
1017 An ocean front castle with stainless suit seemed like a great deal. 1.2713 0.04505 129 98 27 4
1018 It’s just a starter home. 1.2712 0.04449 118 88 28 2
1019 Dibs on the moat. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1020 Just don't ask me if I "lance a lot," and we'll get along fine. 1.2710 0.05405 107 84 17 6
1021 I bet you wonder where my horse is. 1.2708 0.05017 96 72 22 2
1022 Seriously? There’s an entire Jimi Hendrix song about it! 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1023 My suit is comfy, just a bit tricky draining the dragon. 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1024 It’s a little warm but the SPF is 500. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1025 There is a time in the tides of men and kingdoms! 1.2705 0.04943 122 95 21 6
1026 Oil can...oil can 1.2705 0.05079 122 96 19 7
1027 Any suggestions on how to protect it from the waves? 1.2703 0.04456 148 115 26 7
1028 Everybody kept saying ‘Don’t quit your day job.’ 1.2703 0.04456 148 115 26 7
1029 I'll guard the castle, you guard the beach. 1.2703 0.04948 111 85 22 4
1030 Anyone starts to drown, I spear them. Quicker that way. 1.2701 0.04691 137 107 23 7
1031 This is required now because half the swimmers are armed with AR15s. 1.2698 0.05214 126 101 16 9
1032 The castle ain't much, but check out the moat. 1.2698 0.04424 126 95 28 3
1033 No,I don’t swim. I’m just here to guard the castle. 1.2698 0.05335 126 102 14 10
1034 Anything outside the moat is your territory, OK? 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1035 Could you watch my moat while I run to the bathroom? 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1036 My therapist says I tend to over compensate. 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1037 Do you need me to draw a line in the sand? 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
1038 Six serfs a-surfing / Five telephone booths! Four calling birds / Three little beaches Two golden guards And a party on a far sand bar 1.2695 0.04708 141 111 22 8
1039 I'm here to protect it from the surfs 1.2695 0.04919 141 113 18 10
1040 Until His Majesty returns from His nap. 1.2695 0.04815 141 112 20 9
1041 Dost thou hear thunder? 1.2695 0.04919 141 113 18 10
1042 My kids birthday requests are getting weirder and weirder 1.2695 0.04599 141 110 24 7
1043 I've been de-moated. 1.2692 0.05333 104 81 18 5
1044 They assigned me to castle duty on April 1st. Why do you ask? 1.2692 0.05155 104 80 20 4
1045 I'm flattered, but I'm actually gay. 1.2689 0.05021 119 93 20 6
1046 ''And I asked the king, how exactly does one vanquish high tide?' 1.2689 0.04728 119 91 24 4
1047 No worry! All parts sprayed with Rustoleum before assembly. 1.2689 0.04728 119 91 24 4
1048 It’s hot, but the SPF is really good. 1.2687 0.04873 134 106 20 8
1049 It's not the heat...it's the humidity. 1.2687 0.04389 134 102 28 4
1050 No Dragons; see, it works! 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1051 It all feels futile when the tide comes in. 1.2687 0.04515 134 103 26 5
1052 Zinc oxide won't protect you from slings and arrows. 1.2683 0.05300 123 99 15 9
1053 People just tend to just stay out of rip tides when they see me up here. 1.2683 0.05172 123 98 17 8
1054 I like your suit. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1055 I'm going home when the tide comes in. 1.2677 0.04534 127 97 26 4
1056 Tomorrow I'll wear a swimsuit. First day. Also, I'll stop stabbing sunbathers. 1.2677 0.04930 127 100 20 7
1057 Nice sun protection, sir! 1.2673 0.04852 101 76 23 2
1058 I didn’t think the Baywatch / Game of Thrones genre mash-up would be so popular. 1.2673 0.05783 101 81 13 7
1059 There is really more to this job than it looks 1.2673 0.05430 101 79 17 5
1060 Trust me, I know how to guard a life. 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1061 I dig you the moat. 1.2672 0.04945 131 104 19 8
1062 Rust is a great color for you! 1.2671 0.04589 146 115 23 8
1063 You guard the lives, I’ll guard the castle. 1.2667 0.04954 135 108 18 9
1064 It's just for the summer, then I go back to Yale. 1.2667 0.04602 150 119 22 9
1065 You’re over-interpreting. Sometimes a lance is only a lance”. 1.2667 0.05624 105 84 14 7
1066 Windmills don't look that bad now... 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1067 I thought the memo read Hun block. 1.2667 0.04602 150 119 22 9
1068 You take care of the ocean. I'll deal with the moat. 1.2667 0.05257 120 96 16 8
1069 Is it hot in here or is it me? 1.2667 0.04504 150 118 24 8
1070 If the moat is breached I'll throw over the boiling oil and boulders. You release the killer crabs and signal the sea gulls to drop their payloads. 1.2662 0.05062 139 113 15 11
1071 Hell no! I'll guard the beach while you dive in for that guy." 1.2662 0.04518 139 108 25 6
1072 I don’t know. It seemed like a good idea this morning. 1.2661 0.04737 124 96 23 5
1073 I took an oath 1.2661 0.04737 124 96 23 5
1074 Sharks are a lot safer than dragons. 1.2661 0.04873 124 97 21 6
1075 You're saying we're supposed to rescue people drowning in the moat? 1.2661 0.04596 124 95 25 4
1076 The job post said castle guard…should’ve finished reading the description. 1.2661 0.04596 124 95 25 4
1077 What do you mean there is a tide coming in 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
1078 I'm a little rusty at this. 1.2657 0.04754 143 114 20 9
1079 Your portcullis should face the other way. 1.2656 0.05020 128 102 18 8
1080 It's a living 1.2656 0.05020 128 102 18 8
1081 You call me Arthur and I’ll call you Guinevere. 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
1082 Hey, Lancelot...you need to keep your eyes on the ocean... 1.2655 0.05186 113 89 18 6
1083 How long do you think this wall can hold? 1.2655 0.04707 113 86 24 3
1084 Forget a moat, this castle will have a boat. 1.2655 0.04707 113 86 24 3
1085 I knew that a job guarding the castle was too good to be true. 1.2653 0.04930 98 74 22 2
1086 What? It's cheaper than sunscreen. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
1087 Prince Canute. And your name? 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1088 YOU TAKE THE OCEAN AND I'LL WATCH THE MOAT 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1089 Hey, could you cover while I use the restroom? About 90 minutes. 1.2650 0.05206 117 93 17 7
1090 I'm here early for the knight shift. 1.2647 0.05383 102 80 17 5
1091 You probably recognize me from either Netflix or the congressional hearings. 1.2647 0.04922 136 109 18 9
1092 The difference between that kid’s castle and mine is night and day. 1.2647 0.05009 102 78 21 3
1093 I'm free after high tide if you wanna hang out. 1.2645 0.04510 121 92 26 3
1094 How can you guard life without a shield? 1.2645 0.04806 121 94 22 5
1095 "At least I don't need to think about sun screen." 1.2645 0.04806 121 94 22 5
1096 I'm here for the Peloponnesian War reenactment. 1.2645 0.04806 121 94 22 5
1097 The ad said,"become a castle guard, uniform supplied". 1.2645 0.04660 121 93 24 4
1098 First day back, I'm feeling a little rusty. 1.2643 0.04254 140 107 29 4
1099 I was told i was getting a whistle. 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
1100 I didn’t know it was casual Friday 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1101 Don't get me wrong, there are some drawbacks, but I never get sunburned 1.2640 0.04703 125 97 23 5
1102 Can you guard the castle for a minute? I'm going to go change into something less medieval. 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1103 Personally I hate the knight shift. 1.2640 0.05098 125 100 17 8
1104 My tour of duty ends at high tide 1.2639 0.04406 144 112 26 6
1105 I told them, 'no job is too small,' so here I am. 1.2637 0.06019 91 73 12 6
1106 I think we’ll need a bigger moat. 1.2636 0.04776 110 84 23 3
1107 I'm part of a GOP grant to prevent sandcastle moat drownings. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
1108 After the tide comes, I'm free for dinner 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
1109 I always fancied working abroad but the job description stated “Côte d’Armour” 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
1110 Yeah… I should have listened to my friend who warned me that the architect was the same one used by Spinal Tap for their Stonehenge set. 1.2636 0.04862 129 102 20 7
1111 All this could be yours. 1.2632 0.04834 114 88 22 4
1112 Yeah, the pay’s not great but I do get to work from home. 1.2632 0.04671 114 87 24 3
1113 There was this time machine. I pressed “future.” 1.2632 0.04834 114 88 22 4
1114 My shift is over in a half an hour. So, would you like a tour of the castle? 1.2632 0.05294 114 91 16 7
1115 You get the next one. I sink like a rock. 1.2627 0.05025 118 93 19 6
1116 Did you catch the Jaws marathon last night? 1.2627 0.05305 118 95 15 8
1117 Sure,my rescues are rusty but my dermatologist approves. 1.2627 0.04878 118 92 21 5
1118 The enemy is coming in waves. 1.2626 0.05094 99 76 20 3
1119 When I abdicated, I was promised a castle. 1.2623 0.05309 122 99 14 9
1120 It looked bigger in the photo 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
1121 I'm not sure you're taking this seriously, Judy 1.2621 0.05155 103 80 19 4
1122 My tan is going to be awful. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1123 Here, at least I have some control over my domain. 1.2617 0.05200 107 84 18 5
1124 I love being able to work remotely. 1.2617 0.05367 107 85 16 6
1125 It's just a temporary job. 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
1126 I can't get this armor wet, so... 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
1127 The Hoff. Still bay watching but prefer knight sitting these days. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1128 First time at Loch Ness? 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1129 My major foe is melanoma. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1130 Sorry I’m late. We had a real battle at my other job. 1.2612 0.04486 134 104 25 5
1131 'Tis a grand, impregnable fortress until the tide comes in. 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1132 On the other hand, I don't need sun-tan lotion. 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1133 So there I was, beating on, boat against the current, and now I find myself borne back ceaselessly into the past 1.2605 0.05128 119 95 17 7
1134 A swim sounds great, but I just ate 30 minutes ago. 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
1135 Last time I sat in a high chair someone was feeding me. 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
1136 Everyone loves knights on the beach. 1.2596 0.04926 104 80 21 3
1137 I watch out for the little people. 1.2596 0.05465 104 83 15 6
1138 I’ll take care of the dragons, if you’ll handle the sharks. 1.2593 0.05639 108 88 12 8
1139 Beware of Trojan horseflies 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
1140 I'm guarding the castle. 1.2590 0.04605 139 110 22 7
1141 Would you mind suntan oiling my joints? 1.2590 0.04127 139 106 30 3
1142 time to suit up 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1143 It’s Castle Hasselhoff. 1.2587 0.04517 143 113 23 7
1144 No, Jenn, I'm not really a Casual Friday kind of guy. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
1145 Sharks 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
1146 I'm glad they finally found someone for the knight shift. 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
1147 Hail sun-bronzed goddess! Yon castle is but a token of my troth. 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
1148 Haven't done this for a while, so I'm a little rusty. 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
1149 It's called "Sandalot.' 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
1150 I get off at high tide... 1.2583 0.04348 120 91 27 2
1151 A castle for your thoughts. 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1152 Greece, Rome , the USSR.- All washed away by the sands of time. Well, not on my watch! 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1153 The tide is coming in. I’m no longer master of my domain. 1.2578 0.04471 128 99 25 4
1154 My knight job is so much easier than my day job! 1.2578 0.04471 128 99 25 4
1155 Different agendas, yes. But not incompatible. 1.2577 0.04922 97 74 21 2
1156 It could be worse: I used to be a serf. 1.2576 0.04385 132 102 26 4
1157 I definitely have a plan. 1.2574 0.04804 101 77 22 2
1158 Do you have a minute to talk about The Crusades? . 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
1159 It’s not really as glamorous as it looks. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
1160 The biggest threats are high tides and dragon poop." 1.2571 0.04462 140 110 24 6
1161 ‘Phasing all the old jobs out, so I took the first job the didn’t require me to know how to Zoom.’ 1.2571 0.05069 105 82 19 4
1162 Would you mind oiling my back? 1.2569 0.05438 109 88 14 7
1163 I did graduate last in my class. How did you know? 1.2569 0.05438 109 88 14 7
1164 Hey. Do you have any WD40? 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
1165 I grabbed the wrong suit, didn’t I? 1.2569 0.05438 109 88 14 7
1166 The lesser known Roman Legion SPFQR 1.2566 0.05149 113 90 17 6
1167 Don’t mind me, just guarding my castle here. 1.2566 0.04833 113 88 21 4
1168 You take the ones in the water. And I'll get anybody that tries to storm the castle. 1.2564 0.04567 117 90 24 3
1169 I don't do water rescues. 1.2562 0.04317 121 92 27 2
1170 You take the ocean. I got the moat covered. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
1171 The knight shift isn’t for everyone. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
1172 I am conducting a special military operation here. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
1173 Thankfully the moat only comes up to my ankles. 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
1174 Knight Rider was way better than Baywatch. 1.2558 0.04440 129 100 25 4
1175 Don’t mind me, I’ll just be here until high tide. 1.2558 0.04302 129 99 27 3
1176 spf 1000. But the moat helps, too 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
1177 Silly me I’ve forgotten the WD-40. Guinevere, what say you? 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
1178 If the serf rises, we slay the bastard. 1.2555 0.04520 137 108 23 6
1179 Why don’t you focus on your job so I can focus on mine? 1.2555 0.04972 137 112 15 10
1180 Great, I’ll watch the castle. 1.2555 0.04520 137 108 23 6
1181 Do you guys get overtime? 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
1182 Be sure to keep an eye on the moat, too. 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
1183 I think we're being invaded by ants. 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
1184 You try being homeless twice a day. 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
1185 Uhhh I just use SPF 50, but your armor is cool. 1.2551 0.05089 98 76 19 3
1186 Well, it looks like it's sink or swim. 1.2549 0.05340 102 81 16 5
1187 The King is all moat and no castle 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1188 Yes, floating in armor is hard. 1.2547 0.04845 106 82 21 3
1189 Whatever. My dad told me ladies dig a guy in uniform." 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1190 Because I didn't read the fine print. 1.2545 0.04734 110 85 22 3
1191 I say old chap! Can you scratch my back? 1.2545 0.05074 110 87 18 5
1192 These jellyfish won't stand a chance! 1.2544 0.04460 114 87 25 2
1193 You watch the swimmers, I’ll guard the castle. 1.2544 0.04282 114 86 27 1
1194 Last time, I got a sunburn. 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
1195 King Arthur wanted a knight look over the castle. 1.2542 0.04990 118 94 18 6
1196 Thanks.This armour has an spf of 1400. I think I'm covered. 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
1197 I was promoted to Head Guard of Trump’s Castle 1.2542 0.04990 118 94 18 6
1198 The nature of this job really has changed. 1.2542 0.04990 118 94 18 6
1199 I'm dressed up as an Ancient Roman lifeguard. 1.2541 0.04737 122 96 21 5
1200 MoatWatch." Why do you ask 1.2541 0.04592 122 95 23 4
1201 So after the wedding, the teeny tiny prince and teeny tiny princess built a teeny tiny castle by the sea and lived there happily ever after. The end. 1.2541 0.04737 122 96 21 5
1202 It's kind of hard to reapply sunscreen. 1.2540 0.04904 126 101 18 7
1203 You take the sea; my water fighting skills are rusty 1.2540 0.05032 126 102 16 8
1204 My doctor says I am too guarded around people. 1.2538 0.05041 130 106 15 9
1205 I'm taking over the knight shift. 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1206 I'm off duty 1.2536 0.04607 138 110 21 7
1207 I happened to mention to my mother I like heavy metal. 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
1208 One of us is going in. It's time to sink or swim. 1.2526 0.04956 95 73 20 2
1209 I defend the castle to the death, but I don't do water. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1210 My other castle is bigger. 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1211 Wanna grab a bite later? I get off work as soon as high tide comes in. 1.2525 0.04618 99 75 23 1
1212 I'll do the damsels in distress. You do everyone else. 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
1213 Quiet day huh? 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1214 Take it from me, it’s better to stay in school. 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1215 Too literal, right? 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1216 Let’s compromise: you handle drowners, I’ll handle dragons. 1.2524 0.04921 103 80 20 3
1217 Would you care to be Queen for a Day? 1.2524 0.04921 103 80 20 3
1218 I hope the Royals come out before the tide turns 1.2524 0.04723 103 79 22 2
1219 I'm keeping a lookout for any Trojan seahorses. 1.2524 0.05470 103 83 14 6
1220 Who am I?? Just maybe I am your knight in shining armor 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
1221 In our kingdom everyone drowns. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
1222 When I signed up for the Night’s Watch, I had something way different in mind. 1.2524 0.05641 103 84 12 7
1223 It's a temp job. 1.2523 0.05327 107 86 15 6
1224 Yeah? Well, your attitude is not very buoyant. 1.2523 0.05802 107 89 9 9
1225 Dragons aren't my thing anymore, I mostly talk about sun protection." 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1226 I call dibs on any damsels out there. 1.2523 0.05327 107 86 15 6
1227 I came, I saw, I bought a condo. 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
1228 Trust me, you don't want to give mouth-to-mouth to a dragon. 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1229 SPF 1000 equivalent. And you? 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
1230 Same job, different costume 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1231 I think I'm at the wrong castle. 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1232 i'm wearing the same thing you're wearing under this armor 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
1233 I'm just freelancing. 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
1234 Wait, we have to save people? 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
1235 'Guard the moat,' he told me. So I guard the moat. 1.2522 0.04426 115 88 25 2
1236 My White Satin's caught up in those damned 'supply chain issues.' 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
1237 Your doctor said that tanning lotions were futile, not feudal! 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1238 You watch the water, I'll take care of dragon fire. 1.2520 0.04559 123 96 23 4
1239 You said that was stainless, right? 1.2520 0.04410 123 95 25 3
1240 Shark cage. 1.2520 0.04739 127 101 20 6
1241 I have been working remotely since the kingdom downsized. 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1242 Once you start, you’re a guard for life. 1.2520 0.04869 127 102 18 7
1243 Why do I always get the knight shift? 1.2520 0.04869 127 102 18 7
1244 Not needing sunscreen is one of the perks. 1.2520 0.04325 127 98 26 3
1245 They have you on the knight shift as well, huh? 1.2519 0.04888 131 106 17 8
1246 At first I wore it for the arrow protection, but the Sun is even more deadly 1.2519 0.04299 135 105 26 4
1247 This is LIFEGUARDING 1.2519 0.04426 135 106 24 5
1248 I'm a METHOD Lifeguard. 1.2518 0.04343 139 109 25 5
1249 Would you mind rubbing some Armour All on my back? 1.2518 0.04343 139 109 25 5
1250 Please ignore any summons for aid emanating from the moat. 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
1251 Yes, it's made of sand, but don't mock me. 1.2500 0.05116 108 86 17 5
1252 Yup, I pissed off the king. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
1253 Somehow I think this new sharkproof bodysuit doesn't quite work. 1.2500 0.05038 92 71 19 2
1254 I certinly hope this is the high tide mark. Otherwise, I'm screwed. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1255 Sure it's small and I paid over asking price, but it was the only castle on the market. 1.2500 0.04911 96 74 20 2
1256 When it’s your turn, we’ll build a contemporary saltbox. 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1257 It's not bad, but I do get weird tan lines. 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
1258 Could you hold the spear for a sec? I need to get my seahorse. 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
1259 Actually I am on a sabbatical from my job at American Express’ 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
1260 Yeah it's imaginary, but when you think about it, my job's a lot harder than yours. 1.2500 0.05030 116 93 17 6
1261 You do your job, I’ll do mine. 1.2500 0.04706 128 102 20 6
1262 ‘You’re merely certified. Yet, I am Legend.’ 1.2500 0.05752 100 82 11 7
1263 And they think you're hot! 1.2500 0.05444 108 88 13 7
1264 With the visor down it's SPF-1 million. 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
1265 That 'my kingdom for a horse' line never made sense to me before now... 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
1266 I gotta pee. Can you watch the tiny soldiers by the moat for a few minutes? 1.2500 0.04766 108 84 21 3
1267 I'm here because the king made a joke that was taken literally. 1.2500 0.05030 116 93 17 6
1268 I think I misheard when they said night shift 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
1269 Hi Sandy, I'm Lance. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1270 I wanted a night job but this was the best I could get! 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1271 Do you know any good ways to get sand out of your suit? 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
1272 Mine, if by land; yours, if by sea. 1.2500 0.05152 112 90 16 6
1273 If you go near my castle, I'll stab you with my spear. 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
1274 It’s similar to my last job, but the culture change has been a breath of fresh air. 1.2500 0.05283 108 87 15 6
1275 You look like you know what you're doing. Do you think the moat is big enough? 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
1276 You never know when the Vikings will arrive! 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1277 After COVID, everything seems so small and inconsequential 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
1278 You said that size doesn't matter! 1.2500 0.05389 100 80 15 5
1279 It's too nice out today to storm the castle. 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
1280 I get off after the tide comes in. How about you? 1.2500 0.04548 140 112 21 7
1281 It's not easy to defend when they come in waves. 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
1282 I prefer this to building castles in the sky. 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
1283 His majesty is on a snack break. 1.2500 0.06110 92 76 9 7
1284 Every castle needs a knight. 1.2500 0.05030 116 93 17 6
1285 Sure the Huns are pretty bad, but they have nothing on the unsupervised six year-olds! 1.2500 0.05283 108 87 15 6
1286 You keepeth the shore and I’ll keepeth the castle, good madame 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1287 OK, and I'll handle the damsels... 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1288 It’s just way more effective than SPF 100 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1289 Union rules 1.2482 0.04608 137 110 20 7
1290 It's shark-proof. 1.2480 0.04349 125 97 25 3
1291 You are going to need a bigger moat! 1.2480 0.04349 125 97 25 3
1292 First time? 1.2480 0.04495 125 98 23 4
1293 Seen many dragons yet? 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
1294 Guarding against Leafy Sea Dragons mostly. You? 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
1295 I mean, yeah, of course I'm hot, but it's the only way I know to keep those brats from kicking it down. 1.2479 0.04435 121 94 24 3
1296 Yeah…. But I save a lot on sunscreen. 1.2479 0.04588 121 95 22 4
1297 It's not that I need armor, I just get really bad sunburns. 1.2479 0.04435 121 94 24 3
1298 For the second season of “Bayeux Watch,” we'll have better special effects. 1.2479 0.05018 121 98 16 7
1299 I thought the guy said he needed a Knight guard. 1.2479 0.05018 121 98 16 7
1300 Wait till you see the dragon. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1301 I detect an undercurrent in your thoughts. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1302 That's the longest garter snake that I have ever seen! 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1303 So what SPF are YOU using? 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1304 It may be a castle made of sand, but it’s mine and I’m going to defend it. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1305 I’m still master of my domain. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1306 I'm just here until high tide. 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
1307 Not only am I your knight in shining armor, when I rescue you, I won't get shark-bit. 1.2478 0.05263 113 92 14 7
1308 My seven years at USC prepared me for this moment. 1.2478 0.04954 113 90 18 5
1309 You’re probably right, but if a dragon appears…! 1.2478 0.04954 113 90 18 5
1310 Yonder lies my father's sand castle. 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
1311 They wait for high-tide before they storm the castle! 1.2477 0.05399 109 89 13 7
1312 sunscreen just hasn't been working for me 1.2477 0.04354 109 83 25 1
1313 At low tide, it’s an impenetrable fortress. 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
1314 Have you got some sunscreen? 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
1315 The real enemy is rust, though. 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1316 Go out for a grog later? 1.2476 0.04645 105 81 22 2
1317 I built the castle and I will defend until I rust 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
1318 Fear not, fair maiden, the castle shalt not be breached on my watch. 1.2474 0.04867 97 75 20 2
1319 Keep an eye on that kid with the horse float 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
1320 Haven't you ever heard of Bay Watch Knights 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
1321 I think I didn’t read the job description carefully enough. 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
1322 Sure, it's got an SPF rating of 100, but that's more than offset by the buoyancy rating. 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
1323 You expect to guard lives with a whistle? 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
1324 I’m just saying, it’s more than an issue of jurisdiction. 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
1325 Watch the Lighthouse. 1 by land, 2 by sea. 1.2472 0.05124 89 69 18 2
1326 Cover me. I may be a little rusty. 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
1327 I thought there'd be more dragons. 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1328 So, it winds up—seeking the Holy Grail is kinda aimless and loose. 1.2459 0.04981 122 99 16 7
1329 Yes, I suppose it could be used against sharks. 1.2458 0.04329 118 91 25 2
1330 I think we're gonna need a bigger moat... 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
1331 It's a little hot,but it beats skin cancer. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
1332 Explain "surfer." 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
1333 Damn, I forgot my whistle. 1.2458 0.04329 118 91 25 2
1334 Laugh all you want but no one has come up with better sun protection in three millennia. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
1335 I’m here because of the re-moat possibility the tide will say high to my castle. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
1336 You wouldn’t happen to have any WD 2 on you? 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
1337 Next week I'm doing Windsor Castle though. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1338 Do you happen to know the SPF of Steel polish? 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
1339 C’mon, play along. You’re a damsel in distress. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1340 Actually, I didn't even see it there. 1.2455 0.04509 110 85 23 2
1341 Just burnishing my resume, why do you ask? 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
1342 Could you guard my castle? I need to go pee. 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
1343 So...you building that castle seems a tiny bit passive-aggressive. 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
1344 I’m working towards body positivity. 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
1345 I’m not mansplaining. I’m educating on the finer points of realm protection. 1.2451 0.05474 102 83 13 6
1346 Guard here often? 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
1347 I just feel like this job is underutilizing my skill set and lacking bouyancy. 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
1348 Your shield has a fatal flaw. Hold it up to your chest I'll show you. 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
1349 SPF 1032, why do you ask? 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
1350 Wrong, the answer is moot! 1.2449 0.06164 98 83 6 9
1351 It’s actually not that hot under here. I just hate putting on sunscreen. 1.2449 0.04824 98 76 20 2
1352 It's an easy gig. I only have to work until high tide and I don't need to wear sunscreen. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
1353 Yes, that's my Castle...would you like to be my fair Maiden? 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
1354 Oh,please. Sand in your crack is your only complaint? 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
1355 No,I just guard them. Building them is a union job. 1.2447 0.05796 94 77 11 6
1356 The armor rusts, so I'm glad that the moat isn't deep. 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
1357 I have to admit it's a bit of a letdown after tilting at windmills for so many years. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
1358 It’s pretty cool when the moat fills up.. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
1359 You guard the water, I'll guard the castle. 1.2441 0.04289 127 99 25 3
1360 I'm only a guard, but if this posting goes well I'll be promoted to knight and I move to the big castle. So are you new here too? 1.2439 0.04944 123 100 16 7
1361 I say there......did you know what time the tide comes in..? 1.2439 0.04667 123 98 20 5
1362 This one's yours Marion...I'm not qualified to save serpents. 1.2437 0.04769 119 95 19 5
1363 You seen any leviathans today? 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
1364 I'm hoping to expand my territory gradually. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
1365 I'm sure I could lay siege to it if I could only get out of this chair. 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
1366 If someone falls in the moat, I'm counting on you to rescue them. 1.2434 0.04476 152 124 19 9
1367 There's no better SPF 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
1368 Wait til high tide, then the armor will make sense. 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
1369 I know it's not to scale but it was built in a day. 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
1370 If you rescue any of my vassals, I'll pay you three ducats. 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
1371 It’s my new shift—day knight saving time. 1.2432 0.05154 111 90 15 6
1372 It's not much, but it is home. I had to beat five other cash offers to get it. And it is dragon season, ya know. 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
1373 I’m fine if you stay, as long as you don’t touch my kingdom. 1.2430 0.04372 107 82 24 1
1374 I was told "Knight-shift by the castle," Easy mistake." 1.2427 0.04871 103 81 19 3
1375 Could you quit saving those we throw into the moat, please?! 1.2424 0.04782 99 77 20 2
1376 Next time, that shark is in for a big surprise. 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1377 My last job was chasing windmills. 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1378 I guard it with my life. 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
1379 I'm here 'til the tide comes in. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1380 We’re on the look out for a trojan seahorse 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
1381 Don't ask me. The temp agency gave me this outfit and sent me here. 1.2422 0.04539 128 102 21 5
1382 I've got this, if you wanted to take a dip. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
1383 I completely misread the job description. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
1384 To you it’s temporary. To me it’s legend. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
1385 Can you rub some polish on my backplate? 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
1386 My shift is over at high tide. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1387 I’ll spearhead any rescue efforts. 1.2417 0.04099 120 92 27 1
1388 Join the legion, they said. See the world, they said. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1389 I can handle anything but a water rescue 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
1390 You sun, I'll siege. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1391 As the man, I'll defend the castle against attacking hordes. While I'm doing my job, can you just keep an eye on the little ones in the water?" 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
1392 I was demoted to this post after a dragon incident at low tide. 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
1393 A king's castle needs lifeguard protection. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1394 SPF circa 1400. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1395 You guard your strip of sand, I’ll guard mine. 1.2411 0.04060 112 85 27 0
1396 No spf lotion. The supply chain. Whatever that is 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
1397 Oh, this is SPF 1 million. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
1398 You won't swim with that on. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1399 My therapist told me I should live out my childhood dreams. Tomorrow I am dressing as a lion tamer and going to the zoo! 1.2411 0.05112 112 91 15 6
1400 It has it’s advantages. Right now, I’m steaming hot dogs under my helmet. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
1401 I'll watch the ones inside the moat. 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
1402 Saving lives? I’m here to be your knight in shining armor. 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
1403 Well, at least I'm prepared for the great hermit crab uprising! 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1404 I’m on retainer until high tide. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
1405 Sir Sandelot, reporting for duty. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
1406 It used to be bigger! 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
1407 Sunglasses! I KNEW I forgot something! 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
1408 I had two buyers, each offering full price and taking as is before I even finished the moat. 1.2403 0.04640 129 104 19 6
1409 If you see someone drowning in the moat, just leave them. 1.2400 0.05131 125 104 12 9
1410 If you mention how you invented aqueducts one more time, I swear I’m gonna aqueduct tape your mouth shut 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
1411 Hath thou grease for mine sticky joints? 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
1412 Sunscreen? No, but I have WD-40 if you need it. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
1413 ‘Chasing Dragons’ IS my vocation AND hobby. Why do you ask? 1.2400 0.04600 125 100 20 5
1414 Pray tell, how many mushrooms did you consume? 1.2400 0.05707 100 83 10 7
1415 You know that whistle won’t do much 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
1416 It’s not the size of the castle; it’s the long lasting knight that counts.” 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
1417 You guard your way, I'll guard mine. And I won't get sunburned. 1.2397 0.04983 121 99 15 7
1418 I will defend young Princess Sarah's castle to my dying breath, be it from invading savages, the encroachment of the sea, or that Jimmy kid over there. 1.2397 0.04983 121 99 15 7
1419 I don’t get to do much on the job, but it pays well. 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
1420 I don't think they have flood insurance 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
1421 The ad stated: ‘Life guard wanted; experience required.’ Why are you here? 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1422 We’re safe. I raised the drawbridge. 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
1423 Let’s agree to disagree about saving people in the moat. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1424 Mom said If I build it she will come . .plus it will keep me out of trouble . . 1.2393 0.04953 117 95 16 6
1425 It’s called jurisdiction. . . Look it up. 1.2393 0.05242 117 97 12 8
1426 You surf,me turf! 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
1427 I use a metallic based sunscreen. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1428 They don't build castles the way they used to!" 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1429 After more than twenty generations, this is the inheritance that I've been left with. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1430 Jousting just doesn’t pay what it used to 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1431 I guess l’m still working remotely. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1432 We're gonna need a bigger moat. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1433 Thou must be the new hire. 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
1434 Let's see who saves more lives today. 1.2388 0.04261 134 106 24 4
1435 I guess you didn't watch yesterday's Shark Week. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
1436 Unequal uniform requirements? I don’t see it. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1437 Do you have any sunscreen I could borrow? 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
1438 Yeah, it is a little uncomfortable, but I save a lot on sunscreen. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
1439 Sharks? No. The spear is for dragons. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1440 No, I don’t have any sunscreen. 1.2385 0.04608 130 105 19 6
1441 I’ve got dibs on any damsels in distress out there. 1.2385 0.04608 130 105 19 6
1442 The real challenge is chafing. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
1443 You're kidding? Really? All this for nothing? What's high tide? 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
1444 SPF 1000, and they throw in the lance. 1.2381 0.04704 126 102 18 6
1445 I don't remember asking how you identify. 1.2381 0.05332 105 86 13 6
1446 I'm here to defend against CRT. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
1447 Michael, I'm sorry, but no one wears knight's armor when he forgets his bathing suit. 1.2381 0.05501 105 87 11 7
1448 It’s my way to fight rising sea levels. 1.2381 0.04704 126 102 18 6
1449 Could you save the next one? I’m a little rusty. 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
1450 Even sand dollars have dropped in value. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
1451 Watch out for the Trojan seahorses. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
1452 I'm only here until the tide turns. 1.2373 0.04611 118 94 20 4
1453 In the long run, it's cheaper than sun screen. 1.2373 0.04611 118 94 20 4
1454 Can you watch my castle for the next couple of hours while I go pee? 1.2373 0.04915 118 96 16 6
1455 Oooh! Shorts. 1.2373 0.04915 118 96 16 6
1456 Yes, I am available after high tide. 1.2373 0.04451 118 93 22 3
1457 I’m only doing this until my writing career takes off. 1.2373 0.04611 118 94 20 4
1458 It's your call, shall we save it? 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
1459 My lance is quite effective against sand crabs, dogs looking for relief, and people focusing on their phones as they walk toward the castle. 1.2371 0.04582 97 75 21 1
1460 It’s a human potential method to develop yore values. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
1461 This way I don't forget my visor. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
1462 Guarding against sea level rise. You? 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
1463 Sink or swim? Challenge accepted! 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
1464 Hot out here, huh? 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
1465 It looks bigger when the tide comes in, I swear. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
1466 Well, the map on my phone did say “here be dragons.” 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
1467 My guess is the lifeguard shortage has to do with the new swimsuit requirements. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
1468 Sand grab” 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
1469 You have to wait 45 minutes after eating before committing to a siege 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
1470 This is for the swordfish. 1.2368 0.05031 114 93 15 6
1471 We need to attack before the tide comes in 1.2368 0.05031 114 93 15 6
1472 I may look invincible but what if I have to paddle out? 1.2368 0.04545 114 90 21 3
1473 They want us back in person full-time now, and I'm not taking any risks! 1.2368 0.04712 114 91 19 4
1474 I don't think you're fully trained in wrestling with moat dragons 1.2368 0.04545 114 90 21 3
1475 I'm just glad I didn't get assigned to an aquarium. 1.2366 0.04687 93 72 20 1
1476 I used to be the head lifeguard, but I’ve gotten a bit rusty. 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
1477 The life guard dress code stated “…dress accordingly “ 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1478 No sharks on my side. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1479 You if by land me if by sea. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1480 I don’t think the moat is wide enough to protect it. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1481 I thought this was supposed to be a knight watch. 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
1482 Are you the one they call Hayley The Conqueror” 1.2364 0.05314 110 91 12 7
1483 Since you ask; a seahorse. 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
1484 I go through a lot of WD-40! 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
1485 I don't think you're taking this 'lifeguard' thing seriously enough! 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
1486 How many invaders did you whistle to death ? 1.2358 0.04556 106 83 21 2
1487 Some Air BnB ads are really misleading. 1.2358 0.04556 106 83 21 2
1488 ...and my great-great-great-great-grandfather also got out of his armour only once. 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
1489 For your information Brenda, it‘s a European bathing suit! 1.2358 0.04630 123 99 19 5
1490 The job post was saying “sandcastle guard” and I thought it referred to a game of thrones reboot… 1.2358 0.04630 123 99 19 5
1491 My home is where my castle is 1.2358 0.04630 123 99 19 5
1492 My kingdom for an ounce of sunscreen! 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
1493 I thought the ad said ‘Night Watchman.’ 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
1494 I’m the castle guard. 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
1495 Okay, so you won our first bet. But I bet you I can still swim in this thing! 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
1496 I just didn't feel like sunscreen was protective enough. 1.2353 0.05428 102 84 12 6
1497 I’m an intern for Disney’s Magic Kingdom. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
1498 I'm guarding my moat 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
1499 Can you get my back? 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
1500 I voted for Ren Fair, but everyone else wanted the beach. 1.2353 0.04658 102 80 20 2
1501 Fine. I didn’t actually read ‘The Prince of Tides’ 1.2353 0.04922 85 66 18 1
1502 I preferred working remoatly. 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
1503 If I say it's a moat, it's a moat 1.2348 0.04676 115 92 19 4
1504 I'm prepared to defend our castle against the incoming tide of woe. 1.2348 0.05142 115 95 13 7
1505 Seven bedrooms, four ensuite. Three half baths. Library. Wine cellar. Not to mention a chapel. A ballroom. Salle à manger. A kitchen to die for. Of course a dungeon. And check out that top-of-the-line moat! What's not to like? 1.2348 0.05142 115 95 13 7
1506 Pity me not, for the Mall Santas have it harder. 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
1507 So there was this round table….. 1.2348 0.04991 115 94 15 6
1508 I descend from King Arthur- skin cancer runs in the family. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1509 When the leviathan arrives, you can remind me how much more practical your suit is, Milady. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
1510 Here comes the first wave of enemies 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
1511 You take over while I visit the men's room. I may be a while. 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
1512 Are you in distress my fair maiden? 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
1513 Texas hired me. Apparently it’s not the guns, it’s the lack of moats. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1514 For want of a tide chart the kingdom was lost 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
1515 I'm roasting. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1516 You watch the swimmers, I've got your back if the Visigoths return. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
1517 I find getting into character adds an element of authenticity that the judges really appreciate. 1.2346 0.06400 81 68 7 6
1518 Keep an eye on the kids in the water. I have high tide covered. 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
1519 I've been addicted to Dungeons and Dragons going on 10 years now. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1520 You seem distressed... 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1521 I’ll focus on my job and you yours mam… 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1522 I'm protecting the King. Would you like to tour the castle with me tonight. 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
1523 I'm only here in case a sea dragon shows up. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1524 No, I prefer cloudy days. 1.2342 0.04236 111 86 24 1
1525 Cover me while I take a leak? Don’t worry it’s been dead for hours. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1526 This moat is rather large. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1527 I specialize in damsels in distress. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
1528 Did they make you buy your own uniform too? 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
1529 In what way are you prepared to storm the castle? 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
1530 My kingdom for a horsey! 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
1531 I'll cover the moat, you take the ocean. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
1532 It took me hours to build. 1.2336 0.04319 107 83 23 1
1533 I was told it is threatened with climate change. 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
1534 What I save on sunscreen goes toward lubricants. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
1535 “ I know it sounds a bit bizarre, but in Camelot that’s how conditions are!” 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
1536 I'm waiting for them to lower the drawbridge. 1.2333 0.04543 120 96 20 4
1537 The spear is only for run-away beach balls. 1.2333 0.04841 120 98 16 6
1538 Wait, someday you'll do anything your kids ask you to do. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
1539 City Council declared we have to defend our oceanfront property from outsiders 1.2333 0.06130 90 76 7 7
1540 So you just use lotion for armor? 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
1541 Any dragons your direction? 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
1542 Yes, I'm single 1.2333 0.04223 120 94 24 2
1543 That's your job. I'm just the knight watchman. 1.2333 0.04841 120 98 16 6
1544 Could be rough siege today. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1545 Yes, I have used my lance a lot. 1.2330 0.04407 103 80 22 1
1546 When a five-year-old asks me to guard their castle, I take that responsibility seriously. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
1547 The missus decided to downsize. 1.2330 0.05200 103 84 14 5
1548 Last time I was here I sat on a stingray. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
1549 I'm nearly past the probation period. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
1550 Nothing's really changed since the Middle Ages, except now I've got a real job. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
1551 They call it SPF 10,000 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
1552 SPF one thousand" 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
1553 I'm afraid your greatest enemy will ride in today at about 4:04 pm and vanquish your kingdom, so saith the tidal chart. 1.2328 0.05525 116 99 7 10
1554 This way I avoid sunburn. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
1555 Maybe I followed the fantasy too far.. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
1556 Fine, you can save them from drowning in the moat, but I still get to pour hot oil on them afterwards. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
1557 Would you have a can-opener? 1.2323 0.04501 99 77 21 1
1558 I keep watch on the tides of war. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
1559 It’s not much, but it’s an honest living. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
1560 Every girl is bi. You just have to figure out if it's polar or sexual. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
1561 Boring? Just wait until you've been here a thousand years. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
1562 You can go. I've got the knight shift. 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
1563 It never fails to put me in a certain mood, you know what I mean? 1.2321 0.05071 112 92 14 6
1564 Let me know if you see a dragon. 1.2321 0.05071 112 92 14 6
1565 Can you cover for me? I forgot my floaties. 1.2321 0.04570 112 89 20 3
1566 Until the next wave, all this will be yours. 1.2321 0.04390 112 88 22 2
1567 You’re not worried about archers? 1.2321 0.05227 112 93 12 7
1568 I think we have different ideas on securing the moat 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
1569 It’s not Camelot, but everyone’s gotta start somewhere 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
1570 Ever play chess? 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
1571 Has it been hotter than usual this summer, or is it just me? 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
1572 I will defend my castle 'til the last grain of sand! 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
1573 The transition to the Tiny House lifestyle has really been easy. 1.2316 0.04601 95 74 20 1
1574 Just because I have battle experience doesn't mean I'm not afraid of skin cancer. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
1575 They made it for me after I saved their kid. 1.2316 0.05689 95 79 10 6
1576 I'm part of the Weaponize Lifeguard Project! Mentally ill sun bathers are at the root of sand castle destruction not climate change induced ocean rise! 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
1577 It's really more of a transfer than a demotion. 1.2316 0.04601 95 74 20 1
1578 No tan lines. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
1579 Time and tide wait for no man. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
1580 I'll cover the moat. You cover the rest. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
1581 That's quite a moat you got there. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
1582 couldn't find my sunscreen... 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
1583 If you'd like to switch places, I'm wearing a Speedo under my armour. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
1584 My kid built this castle. I must protect it at all costs! 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
1585 In today’s market, this was a steal. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
1586 We decided to downsize now that the kids are gone. 1.2314 0.04659 121 98 18 5
1587 The king told me to defend the castle. So here I am. 1.2313 0.04091 134 106 25 3
1588 Thank God for global warming 1.2313 0.04484 134 109 19 6
1589 I'm sorry, did the Lilliputians take your clothes. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
1590 Beautiful weather on the Rubicon. My armor has a high SPF rating. 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
1591 Okay, I was trying to stand out. Did it work?? 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
1592 My kingdom for a beach umbrella! 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
1593 Sure it’s hard to swim in, but the moat is only 3 inches deep. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
1594 I know it looks a bit extreme. But have you ever seen the size of the sharks that often show up only ten feet from the shore? 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
1595 Renaissance Faires just seem so...permanent. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
1596 I'm wishing I were in Scotland fishing tonight. 1.2308 0.04761 117 95 17 5
1597 If it falls into the sea, we're in this together, right? 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
1598 Yes, I realize it has a moat! 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
1599 On second thought, maybe the lance is a bit too much. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
1600 I hear there might be a serf uprising. 1.2308 0.05651 91 75 11 5
1601 I wish I were doing something more important with my life. 1.2308 0.05061 117 97 13 7
1602 Good thing there's two of us -- I only rescue people in crowns. 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
1603 Oh so you’re the knight shift 1.2302 0.04668 126 103 17 6
1604 We all start somewhere. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
1605 This reality TV thing is getting old… 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
1606 They surrender at high tide. Have the pails ready. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
1607 I'm not dressed for the beach, am I? 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
1608 I have severe heat stroke. 1.2301 0.05030 113 93 14 6
1609 It’s only until they get the drawbridge replaced. 1.2301 0.04171 113 88 24 1
1610 Do you have any lotion? 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
1611 Downsizing. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
1612 Will you let me know if a foreign fleet approaches? I'm going to get us lattes. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1613 One of those destination wedding things I think 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1614 I can also do a slow-motion run on the beach but it’s much louder. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1615 Brace yourself, high-tide is a bloodbath 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1616 When I need to pee, I just go in the sea 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1617 Technically, it's called a rook. 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
1618 Yeah, the moat is kind of pointless. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
1619 Oh, so your floatation device scares the ocean? 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
1620 Will you at least be free after the tide comes in? 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
1621 After the tide comes in I can go home. 1.2296 0.04454 135 110 19 6
1622 My home, my castle - buzz off! 1.2295 0.04909 122 101 14 7
1623 I got a Rustoleum booster. 1.2295 0.04909 122 101 14 7
1624 I’m weighed down with responsibilities; the swimmers are on you! 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
1625 I’m certified for land rescues only.” 1.2294 0.04446 109 86 21 2
1626 We called it CAMELOT. 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
1627 My left flank is exposed. 1.2294 0.05473 109 92 9 8
1628 My shift is over when the castle washes out to sea. 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
1629 You guard what you guard and I'll guard what I guard 1.2294 0.05154 109 90 13 6
1630 May I move Knight to Queen? 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
1631 Thy tide, she is a relentless beast. 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
1632 Sunscreen hasn’t been invented yet 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
1633 I'm protecting the castle from sand-crabs. 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
1634 A fiefdom none the less. 1.2290 0.04542 131 107 18 6
1635 It’s the new anti shark repellent 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
1636 The little people have offered me an island. 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
1637 Thanks for coming---I don't do moats. 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
1638 Once the water reaches the moat, I'll leap to the rescue. 1.2288 0.04725 118 96 17 5
1639 Well, at least I don't need sunscreen... 1.2288 0.04569 118 95 19 4
1640 What is this 'Casual Friday' you speak of? 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
1641 You free after high tide? 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1642 It was either this or the sunblock. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1643 I somehow heard rook for a castle 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
1644 I promised my kids I’d protect their sand castle. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1645 I get off when the tide comes in! 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1646 Our kingdom is far too small. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1647 If you think sunburn is an occupational hazard, you should try rust. 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1648 I’m aware that my fiefdom is tiny, but it is all I got!” 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1649 Are you waiting for knight fall? 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
1650 will it sand the test of time? 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
1651 Do you have my oilcan ready in case I have to cross the moat? 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
1652 It’s only sand” is a cop out and frankly insulting. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
1653 The moat’s dry. We won’t be needing you. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
1654 see how the moat protects the castle? 1.2276 0.04591 123 100 18 5
1655 Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think you are dressed properly for a workplace. 1.2276 0.04291 123 98 22 3
1656 You wouldn't believe what we paid in this market. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
1657 I'm a redhead. 1.2273 0.06203 88 75 6 7
1658 I won’t tell you how to do your job but if they make it across the moat they’re mine. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
1659 My shift ends in 10 minutes. Text me if anyone storms the castle. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
1660 Sure it's heavy, but I'm protected from the sun AND barbarian hordes. 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
1661 I’m allergic to sand. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
1662 One of us is living in the wrong century.. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
1663 So they can charge more. Now it’s a Theme Park! 1.2273 0.05766 88 73 10 5
1664 I normally work the knight shift 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
1665 Yeah, it’s kinda hot, but the SPF is like a thousand. 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
1666 My kids insisted. 1.2273 0.05766 88 73 10 5
1667 Chivalry is dead if it's anything beyond waist-deep. 1.2273 0.05111 110 91 13 6
1668 You're saying King Tide is not a person? 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
1669 This suit has an SPF of 10,000. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
1670 You have your sun protection, I have mine. 1.2268 0.04518 97 76 20 1
1671 Woe betide, fair maiden, ere this watch endeth. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
1672 Of course I know that the castle will be washed away. That's when I get to fight the dragon inside. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
1673 Hey, don't ask me. It was King Arthur's idea. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1674 You don't see any dragons do you? 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
1675 The trust fund kid pays me 50$ to guard his castle. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1676 'Tis the Tides of March. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1677 Zillow says I should expect at least three 'all-cash' offers before the tide turns. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1678 Just wait! My time will come! 1.2261 0.04464 115 92 20 3
1679 So what did you do on your shift? 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
1680 I got de-'moat'-ed. 1.2261 0.04793 115 94 16 5
1681 Actually, I’m a knight who says neap. 1.2261 0.05102 115 96 12 7
1682 Last week I defended it against a band of five year olds". Heidi Roe, Myrtle Point, Or 1.2258 0.04411 124 100 20 4
1683 I'm waiting for the mail ship. You? 1.2258 0.04411 124 100 20 4
1684 I didn't feel like the moat was enough protection. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
1685 I think a division of labour is called for. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
1686 I came, I saw, I waited one hour after eating. 1.2255 0.05380 102 85 11 6
1687 YOU save that drowning toddler; I’m guarding the castle. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
1688 I'm from Connecticut, via Camelot, how about you? 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
1689 I just got tired of constantly re-applying sunscreen. 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
1690 Are you the damsel who saves those in distress? 1.2252 0.04735 111 90 17 4
1691 My name is Fred. But people call me Ozymandias. 1.2252 0.04904 111 91 15 5
1692 I am here, M’Lady until the tide. 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
1693 I can’t help it, I’m an originalist. 1.2252 0.04904 111 91 15 5
1694 ‘Tis quite the moat! 1.2252 0.04735 111 90 17 4
1695 This would be great, if pigs weren't excellent swimmers. 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1696 It beats guarding one in the air. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
1697 So what did you do to get transferred to Lilliput? 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1698 Eventually this will lead to full-time work at the Renaissance Faires. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
1699 So what? You're a lifeguard; I'm a knight-guard. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
1700 Yes, it does slow my response time down, but it's great against shark attacks! 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
1701 Castles in the sand! Well sand is all we have 1.2246 0.04366 138 113 19 6
1702 Try laying siege to it and see what happens. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
1703 this is in SEINE! 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
1704 I just walk out to them. 1.2245 0.05529 98 82 10 6
1705 You guard your thing and I’ll guard mine. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
1706 Just so you know, we are on the same side. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
1707 Hightide doth taketh. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
1708 The builder is not just some five year old, he is my king. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
1709 I get off at low tide. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
1710 You know what they say, dress for the job." 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
1711 Yeah, you do the drowning kids, I do the tiny, sandy damsels. 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
1712 This job is beneath me. 1.2243 0.05196 107 89 12 6
1713 If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst!” 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
1714 Didn’t you hear? Summer is coming 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
1715 Someone has to guard this castle. 1.2241 0.04911 116 96 14 6
1716 Will you save me if I fall into the moat? 1.2241 0.04756 116 95 16 5
1717 It's more of a sun boil. 1.2241 0.04756 116 95 16 5
1718 And then Caesar looks at the cannibal and says “I’m glad-he-ate-her.” Get it? 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
1719 It's seasonal work, really. From December to January I guard the Gingerbread House at the bakery. 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
1720 How about, if they come by land, I'll fight them, if by sea you fight them? 1.2235 0.04546 85 66 19 0
1721 We're reenacting the siege of Troy...I'm just waiting for the horse to show up. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
1722 No, no it's a summertime gig for me too" 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
1723 You can tell a lot about a Knight, by the size of the castle he protects. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
1724 We know the attack will come from the sea. 1.2234 0.05486 94 78 11 5
1725 I’m only on duty twice a day. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
1726 The moat is deeper than it looks. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
1727 You do your job, and I'll do mine 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
1728 My only job here is to make sure that nobody stomps on the castle. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
1729 I got this one. 1.2234 0.05691 94 79 9 6
1730 So what if we’ve downsized. I’m still the Castle Guard. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
1731 Perchance, is your name Guinevere? 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
1732 It's a Lilliputian job, but somebody has to it. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
1733 The job description didn’t mention sand. 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
1734 It's Sir Fing to you. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
1735 Still "No" huh? If I told you I have a castle, would you go out with me then? 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
1736 You didn't get the memo? 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
1737 Have you seen a holy grail around here by any chance? 1.2233 0.05332 103 86 11 6
1738 So’s who’s your agent? 1.2233 0.04348 103 81 21 1
1739 The tide’s been winning. For honor I’ll never stop trying. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
1740 They weren't confident the moat would be enough. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
1741 I love spear fishing, but my dermatologist insists ... 1.2231 0.04467 121 98 19 4
1742 They waived the 100 yard timed swim. 1.2231 0.04467 121 98 19 4
1743 If you see the dragon, I'd skip the CPR." 1.2222 0.04543 135 112 16 7
1744 My liege is in Time-Out. 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
1745 Yeah, I'm a helicopter parent, and so what? 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
1746 So I was putting on one of those underarmor shirts and I thought to myself, 'hey wait a minute...' 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
1747 Really? The ad said moat, castle, "knight hours." No matter what HR told you, our job is to make sure that everyone in the water drowns. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1748 Well at least you don’t have to guard all knight long! 1.2222 0.05648 90 75 10 5
1749 It's made of stainless steel. I'm not worried about rust. 1.2222 0.04665 99 79 18 2
1750 Sure, I’m from the Middle Ages, but that doesn’t mean I’m middle aged! 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
1751 Instead of sun block, I use Rustoleum. 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
1752 Ok. You handle the drowners and I’ll tackle the dragons. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
1753 I bet you think I'm crazy, huh? 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
1754 I like our chances. 1.2222 0.04804 108 88 16 4
1755 To become a full-fledged Spartan I have to have at least one castle defense on my resume. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1756 You watch the floats. I’ve got the moats. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1757 Fair maiden, you merely guard this beach. I must guard an entire kingdom! 1.2222 0.04804 108 88 16 4
1758 I'm protesting the implicit violence of sand castle architecture. 1.2222 0.05648 90 75 10 5
1759 Who do I think I am? I'm the knight in shining armor! 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
1760 I can’t help myself; I always end up taking my work with me on vacation. 1.2222 0.05663 99 84 8 7
1761 I've been privatized. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
1762 Hey, I don't make fun of you trying to save people from drowning. 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
1763 Bruh, it's hot as fuck in this thing 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
1764 Yeah, no, I don’t emoat. 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
1765 It’s hot, but I save a lot of money on sunscreen. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
1766 what are you looking at? 1.2213 0.04584 122 100 17 5
1767 At least your job is seasonal, mine's tidal. 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
1768 What time are we storming the castle? 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
1769 I imagined a job at a lookout post in Fort Myers somewhat differently. 1.2212 0.04986 113 94 13 6
1770 I wasn't expecting to have to defend the castle against the rising ocean levels 1.2212 0.04486 113 91 19 3
1771 What? Do you think it's easy holding back the tide in this get-up? 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
1772 I'm thinking of giving this all up and becoming a cartoonist....but I can't decide: so far it's a draw. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
1773 You watch over your own realm, I’ll watch over mine. 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
1774 Look, this is what I do. Seven months, maybe eight. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
1775 I thought I warned you not to touch the "re-moat!" 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
1776 Be careful. There are sharks in the moat. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
1777 Baywatch? I thought you said knightswatch… 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
1778 Do sharks bite? 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
1779 Social distancing? What is that? 1.2211 0.05433 95 79 11 5
1780 We're all guarding someething. 1.2211 0.04534 95 75 19 1
1781 The map said here be dragons. 1.2211 0.05433 95 79 11 5
1782 You talkin' to me? 1.2211 0.05433 95 79 11 5
1783 Today, Sancho. I stay at my castle. Tomorrow, I go out there and attack those wind turbines. 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
1784 I am sworn to guard it with my life. I do wish we'd built on higher ground. 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
1785 I came for the day, now I’m here for the knight 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
1786 It's called sunscreen 1.2211 0.04775 95 76 17 2
1787 The minute there’s an opening at the Round Table, I’m outta here! 1.2211 0.04534 95 75 19 1
1788 How could waves and tides are worse than Sea Serpents?" 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
1789 Look. I got the armor, I’m gonna wear it. 1.2211 0.05635 95 80 9 6
1790 Some things never change. 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
1791 I told Siri to search knight guard jobs. 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
1792 I defy you to cross that moat! 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
1793 Could you hold the fort while I take a leak? 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
1794 Don't worry! The mote will hold. 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
1795 This is what I do on the days the beach is closed. Why are you here? 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
1796 Can you handle any problems? My armor is rusted solid from the last time I stepped in water! 1.2205 0.04017 127 101 24 2
1797 Let me know if you spot a big fish. 1.2203 0.04362 118 95 20 3
1798 The job description said 'changing of the guard'... 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
1799 Her Royal Highness hath decreed I am to defend the ramparts unto my last breath, or until Sesame Street is over. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1800 Moat drownings are on the rise. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
1801 Congrats! I see Timmy hired you too. I got the Knight Watch and it looks like you got the Bay Watch. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1802 Dear lady, I’ve slayed dragons a mere high tide shall be nothing. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
1803 Winter is coming! 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
1804 I agree. True chivalry is a beach 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
1805 I 've been demoted. What is your story? 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
1806 I'm in training for a job in security at White Castle. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
1807 You must be wondering why I am carrying what looks like a spear or a large arrow rather than a jousting lance? 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
1808 I'm the God of War. What are you the Goddess of? 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
1809 What do you mean 'toxic masculinity'? 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
1810 What is this SPF protection system you speak of? 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
1811 Fie upon this 'high tide' you speak of. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
1812 It's been such a nice change since those offshore windmills appeared 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
1813 We are awaiting seige from King Timmy. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
1814 Lindsey Graham said I had to protect Trump Towers at all costs. 1.2198 0.05591 91 76 10 5
1815 Have you seen a very large wooden horse? I had to leave for awhile as my joints needed oiling. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
1816 You bully me. You laugh at me. But I passed the same certification course as you and we’ll see who the people come running to when a the Norsemen breach our shores. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
1817 ‘Tis Shark Week. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
1818 I will relax when the water fills the moat! 1.2198 0.04365 91 71 20 0
1819 Love jousting with narwhals. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
1820 I burn easily. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
1821 You and your HGTV! 1.2195 0.04402 123 100 19 4
1822 When do we cross the Rubicon? 1.2195 0.04551 123 101 17 5
1823 We are testing a new moat design. 1.2193 0.04946 114 95 13 6
1824 Excuse me, why aren't you in uniform? 1.2192 0.06542 73 62 6 5
1825 If we're breached, I'm ready! 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
1826 I’m the new knight guard. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
1827 Can you help save my kingdom before the tide comes in? 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
1828 What's your definition of in distress? 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
1829 I assure you this ‘High Tide’ has never met my spear! 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
1830 Watch out for the high tide! 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
1831 Why go through the hassle of resuscitating someone, when it is so much easier just to stab them? 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
1832 But I’m saving civilisation! 1.2188 0.05581 96 81 9 6
1833 I find it's better than sunblock. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
1834 The joust begins at low tide! 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
1835 Shoulda read the fine print before giving that guy my horse. 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
1836 I thought her majesty said it was a moot point 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
1837 Could I trouble you to oil my back? 1.2188 0.05581 96 81 9 6
1838 I’m off at high tide, want to meet me at the pub for a flagon of mead 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
1839 Boss said no more knight swimming 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
1840 Sunscreen? No; but thanks for the offer 1.2185 0.04329 119 96 20 3
1841 You keep an eye out for sharks, while I watch for the dragon floaties. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
1842 I’m sorry, I’m not carrying any suntan lotion 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
1843 With climate change, these beachfront properties are more precarious than ever. 1.2184 0.04455 87 68 19 0
1844 I worked remote the past 500 years. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
1845 I'm more of a flam-buoyancy kinda guy. 1.2182 0.04725 110 90 16 4
1846 They said I didn't have to do the CPR classes. 1.2182 0.04545 110 89 18 3
1847 The ad said “Love the beach? Become a Sandcastle guard.” Aside from the outfit, it’s a pretty sweet gig. 1.2182 0.04545 110 89 18 3
1848 Defending the castle from foreign invaders isn't what it used to be. 1.2182 0.04898 110 91 14 5
1849 I told the placement agent I was ready for work outside my room,out of sweatpants,and off a screen. 1.2182 0.04725 110 90 16 4
1850 I said EMPIRE, not UMPIRE 1.2182 0.05385 110 94 8 8
1851 Just stay in your jurisdiction 1.2182 0.04725 110 90 16 4
1852 Ok will accept your offer, Knight takes castle…. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
1853 Veni, vidi, Baby! 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
1854 It’s been years since I’ve done this. I’m a little rusty. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
1855 The moat isn't in your jurisdiction, right? 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
1856 I should have asked more questions before I accepted the knight shift. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
1857 It only took one knight to build this castle. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
1858 Snow... Jon Snow. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
1859 Would you stand guard for a few minutes while I go for a swim. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
1860 What I've saved in sunscreen I've had to spend on oil to keep the joints moving 1.2177 0.04517 124 102 17 5
1861 NEVER. HAVE YOU 1.2177 0.04370 124 101 19 4
1862 tu casa mi casa 1.2174 0.04416 115 93 19 3
1863 Hard to imagine the Prince swimming later, and even harder to imagine a dragon showing up 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
1864 You work your side of the stream and I'll work mine... 1.2174 0.04749 115 95 15 5
1865 Like the moat? 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
1866 Don't mind me--I'm just guarding the castle. 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
1867 If you'll do swimmer rescues, I'll handle dragon attacks. 1.2174 0.04324 92 72 20 0
1868 It also makes an effective sunblock! 1.2174 0.04240 115 92 21 2
1869 I'm a good guy with a spear 1.2174 0.05535 92 77 10 5
1870 You’re wearing that to defend the castle? 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
1871 Wait till you see the fire-breathing seagulls. 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
1872 My temp agency has really outdone itself this time. 1.2170 0.04447 106 85 19 2
1873 Whoever said “you should dress for the job you want” was not a lifeguard who wanted to be a knight. Or I guess I should say I doubt he was. 1.2170 0.04645 106 86 17 3
1874 I told my parents that I got a job at Mar-a-Lago beach club and this is what they bought me. 1.2169 0.05950 83 70 8 5
1875 The training order is sandcastle, sheep shed, Buckingham Palace, and then the Queen's Corgis. 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
1876 Not a good idea to win a joust with the King 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
1877 The suit is a bit overboard but how else can I show that I make $500,000/year watching people build sandcastles in LA! 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
1878 I said I needed a night in a shiny harbor. 1.2167 0.04611 120 99 16 5
1879 The tides are both our enemy. 1.2167 0.04457 120 98 18 4
1880 Verily, I shall defend thy castle to my dying breath...or high tide. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
1881 These days, it’s all I can afford. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
1882 How about you and I storm the castle? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
1883 So I goes, "Shark! Who goes there?" 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
1884 I actually prefer the knight shift. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
1885 I think the castle's weak point attacks from the sea. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
1886 I guard castles, not lives. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
1887 It's okay, I qualified at the moat. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
1888 What dost thou mean, 'not looking' for a knight in shining armor? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
1889 Maybe this is what the founding fathers meant when they wrote the second amendment 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
1890 I wouldn't say that chivalry is dead, m'Lady But it's asking a lot to ask a knight To fill his armor with chaffing and corroding sand To save but a single sand crab. 1.2164 0.04661 134 113 13 8
1891 If you could save the damsels at sea; I'll save the damsels on land 1.2162 0.05023 111 93 12 6
1892 Watching over my realm ain't no day at the beach. 1.2162 0.04686 111 91 16 4
1893 You're worried about saving lives? My entire future is in danger! 1.2162 0.04858 111 92 14 5
1894 What with the economy, this is the best my king could afford near the beach. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
1895 I miss the Crusades. 1.2160 0.04626 125 104 15 6
1896 I got this. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1897 I think it's fair to say this job will be short-lived. 1.2159 0.04411 88 69 19 0
1898 Moat, Remoat, work is work. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1899 Yeah, due to climate change the Rubicon River is way deeper and wilder than ever. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1900 Not what I thought the "night" shift was. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
1901 I’m never playing Fantasy Football again 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1902 High tidings. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1903 Nah, nothing to do with that castle, I'm the Rutgers mascot. 1.2157 0.05144 102 85 12 5
1904 Being a parent has lots of joys and risks. My kids think I’m protecting their castle at least until high tide. Wanna go for a drink after my hard day of defence? 1.2157 0.04951 102 84 14 4
1905 Call me, Sir Rusty Britches ! 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
1906 Netflix is promoting its new King Arthur series. I assure you,this is not why I went to acting school. 1.2157 0.04323 102 81 20 1
1907 You know, if you are going to be my damsel in distress, you really can't be doing the "rescuing. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
1908 Unembellished, lifeguarding is pretty dull...: 1.2155 0.04550 116 95 17 4
1909 Ho Hum, another pointless cartoon about a guy wearing a suit of armor 1.2154 0.04501 130 108 16 6
1910 I’ll defend the castle, you watch for sharks. 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
1911 Sorry babe, I only save royalty. 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
1912 The spirit of King Canute flows through me! 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
1913 I am NOT a dirty rascal! 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
1914 It pays better than lifeguarding, actually. 1.2151 0.04548 93 74 18 1
1915 I can’t swim, so I thought, what the hell …. why not? 1.2151 0.05690 93 79 8 6
1916 SOMEONE'S GOT TO GUARD THE CASTLE 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
1917 Looks like you might need my help defending against high tide. 1.2151 0.04548 93 74 18 1
1918 Looks like I will be done here in a couple of hours. Want to grab a bite to eat? 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
1919 I’ll defend against the horseshoe crabs. You watch for any 6 year olds. 1.2149 0.04577 121 100 16 5
1920 I know, right? Me too! That sand castle reminds me a lot of the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest!" 1.2149 0.04577 121 100 16 5
1921 I don't see how you're equipped to guard lives. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
1922 I've rusted in place. Can you mind the castle? 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
1923 Well then, what do you do for a living in the off-season? 1.2143 0.04504 84 66 18 0
1924 The Shark Sightings signs really work, don’t they? 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
1925 What? I don’t care if it’s 2022! You’re still on a pedestal. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
1926 I'd save the castle, but I'll just get rusty. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
1927 The moat costs are much lower at this scale. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
1928 You should see my windmill. 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
1929 Maybe I should’ve made the moat a little wider and deeper. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
1930 I obviously misunderstood the term lifeguard. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
1931 You take the ocean, I'll take the moat. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
1932 No. I don't carry sun screen. You wouldn't have any ice? 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
1933 If I can successfully defend it they'll promote me to some kid's sofa cushion fort. 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
1934 Cool it with the lightening jokes! 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
1935 With my spear and your buoy, our defense is impenetrable. 1.2143 0.05280 98 82 11 5
1936 Last summer I guarded at Loch Ness 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
1937 Pardon me, would you have any grey poupon? 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
1938 Baywatch Knights with David Castlehoff 1.2143 0.04504 84 66 18 0
1939 Yeah, the lance may be overkill. 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
1940 Sharks won't touch me. 1.2143 0.04288 112 90 20 2
1941 I never seem to be able to leave work behind when I am on vacation 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
1942 My Mom's very supportive of my lifestyle 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1943 If you think that’s impressive, wait’ll see what else I can carve with this spear 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
1944 Speak for yourself — some of us *are* knights in shining armor. 1.2143 0.05475 98 83 9 6
1945 You expect to protect the castle wearing that? 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
1946 You don't have to work knights? 1.2137 0.04675 117 97 15 5
1947 Ever see a Trojan Crab? 1.2137 0.04175 117 94 21 2
1948 Lancelot … James Lancelot 1.2137 0.04348 117 95 19 3
1949 They said it was going to be an easy summer job. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
1950 I bring you high tidings, fair life-wench. Thusly, you're gonna need a bigger moat. 1.2136 0.05098 103 86 12 5
1951 We're spearheading a new development. 1.2136 0.05098 103 86 12 5
1952 It's more like SPF 500, but only when the visor is down. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
1953 Would you be interested in an armorous relationship? 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
1954 Hey, I got an idea. D'ya think maybe time and tide might wait for a woman? 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
1955 Waiting for black’s next move 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
1956 Left my sunscreen in the castle 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
1957 First day? 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
1958 The King sent me, who sent you? 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
1959 Because the siege is the best part. 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
1960 Mi Casa su Casa 1.2135 0.05412 89 74 11 4
1961 I'm a sovereign citizen, bitch 1.2135 0.05412 89 74 11 4
1962 Sharks don’t breathe fire. Checkmate. 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
1963 This is a lot better than killing baby dragons. 1.2135 0.04368 89 70 19 0
1964 My horse is afraid of sharks. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
1965 It’s part of my fish phobia therapy 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
1966 I said, would you like to go get some ice cream later? 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
1967 I was asked to guard this castle and I take my work very seriously 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
1968 Got any spare oil? 1.2130 0.04567 108 88 17 3
1969 Ya,sure. Hot in summer,cold in winter,but it pays year 1.2130 0.04567 108 88 17 3
1970 Hey, ever cross the Rubicon? 1.2130 0.04567 108 88 17 3
1971 For one thing,can we talk about tan lines? 1.2130 0.04753 108 89 15 4
1972 I'm only on duty during low tide 1.2128 0.04505 94 75 18 1
1973 I find it hard to unplug even when I am on vacation 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
1974 I love protecting the moat with you. 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
1975 Yes wearing this is hot, but my biggest problem is the rust 1.2128 0.05427 94 79 10 5
1976 I was assigned to guard Sandwich Castle 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
1977 Let them eat sand 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
1978 My king takes all of his castles seriously. 1.2128 0.04244 94 74 20 0
1979 I’m here to defend against dragonflies. 1.2128 0.04244 94 74 20 0
1980 Me? I’m the Sentry on this watch. 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
1981 It’s been a really boring summer. 1.2125 0.04602 80 63 17 0
1982 So you’re saying DON’T let them drown? 1.2125 0.06083 80 68 7 5
1983 I built it. That’s why I’m defending it. 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
1984 I can assure you Madam, that 'Defender of Dumb Decisions' is a real job 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
1985 After lifeguard training, I got certified for guarding castle moats. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
1986 There will be no tan lines for me. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
1987 According to my weather app, attack is imminent. 1.2124 0.04611 113 93 16 4
1988 How would you like to visit my real castle?" 1.2124 0.04779 113 94 14 5
1989 I felt a moat would be superfluous. 1.2124 0.04779 113 94 14 5
1990 Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on sand, but I built it all the same, just to show them. 1.2124 0.04779 113 94 14 5
1991 The enemy is advancing! Wait, now they're retreating. 1.2121 0.05611 99 85 7 7
1992 The moat is moot 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
1993 I’m waiting for the tide to turn before I cross the Rubicon. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
1994 I left my sunscreen in my other armor. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
1995 Fetch the King his juice box, wench. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
1996 As a knight, I'm about as errant as you can get. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
1997 Marry Me 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
1998 Huh. I never considered suiting up could be so casual. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
1999 Yes it’s great protection from the sun but the sand in the crack in my ass in driving me nuts. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
2000 That's one big moat. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
2001 So, how big are the dragons around here? 1.2121 0.04130 99 78 21 0
2002 They said this was the highest SPF available. 1.2119 0.04792 118 99 13 6
2003 You get the swimmers; I protect the castle. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2004 I went through the 12 week program. You? 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2005 ...it's a working holiday. 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
2006 I'm waiting for the moat to fill up at high tide. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2007 I'm only doing this for my kids. 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
2008 It’s my first assignment. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2009 Yeah, well, we all have our little jobs to do. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2010 What? I’m looking for a career change. 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
2011 Better to be over prepared than not prepared enough. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2012 Guarding Castle Hoff 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
2013 We have clearly put a stop to dragons and drownings in the moat. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
2014 Potato, patato; you call it siege against the rising oceans; I call it a castle made of sand. 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2015 It's small, but it's paid for. Anita Barlow, Edmond, Oklahoma 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
2016 Well now I feel silly- this chair is completely unnecessary. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
2017 Well, the armor doesn’t shine itself 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
2018 Excuse me damsel, may I borrow some zinc oxide for my nose? My armor is shining directly on my face 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
2019 I need a new agent! 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2020 My name is Sir Fir 1.2111 0.05585 90 76 9 5
2021 Okay, you won that first bet. But I you I can still swim in this thing! 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
2022 Will you help me? If the castle get destroyed the king will make me do the sink or swim test. 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
2023 No, I’m quite comfortable. A law was made a distant moon ago here: July and August cannot be too hot. 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
2024 What’s this January 6th you speak of? 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
2025 The armor is to protect me from the sun; sitting by the castle was just a happy accident. 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
2026 I'd prefer a full-time position, but a temp job is better than nothing. 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
2027 This castle has been in the family for 57 generations. 1.2110 0.04713 109 90 15 4
2028 Hey, are you noticing that it is a little hotter today? 1.2110 0.04713 109 90 15 4
2029 Damn, it's hot in this armour. 1.2110 0.04337 109 88 19 2
2030 You have a face that could launch a thousand surfboards. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2031 It may be quiet now, but there is always a good crowd for the changing of the guard. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
2032 Would you mind helping me down? My armor is rusted. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2033 I thought it was my knight off. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2034 May I call you Dulcinea? 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2035 Yes, but it’s spelled g-u-ä-r-d 1.2105 0.04740 114 95 14 5
2036 A kid tried to stomp it, so I’m down to one spear. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
2037 I'm wating for a damsel in distress so I can recreate a mythical gender archetype. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2038 They worship me as a god. 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
2039 Fight you for it? 1.2100 0.04333 100 80 19 1
2040 Jellyfish season may be over, but keep an eye out for the Saxons. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2041 I just don't feel your commitment. 1.2100 0.04333 100 80 19 1
2042 I thought they said Sandhurst. 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
2043 How long? Ever since the Hermit Crab invasion of 1782 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
2044 Why? I got the new benefit package. 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
2045 All I said was, "I'd like to look over the castle while you're gone,Sire". 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
2046 I thought I had the knight shift? 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
2047 I’m only here until the drawbridge is completed. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
2048 Listen Guinevere, just because we’ve reset our careers doesn’t mean I’m abandoning my quest! 1.2099 0.04553 81 64 17 0
2049 I'll slay the dragons, you can save the peasants 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
2050 Too much cosplay? 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
2051 It doesn’t appear the tide will turn but it’s been an honor. 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
2052 So what's the difference between a tide and a moat? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2053 At least I have a hobby that’s multifaceted. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2054 It's the sharks you've got to worry about 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2055 They sent me to relieve you, I will be working the night shift. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2056 We’re all trying to find the guy who did this. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2057 Would you like a knight in shining armor to defend your castle too? 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
2058 I'd take it off, but I don't know if you've seen a man's heart before. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2059 ‘Even the castle market isn’t immune to inflation’ 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2060 Global warming is a myth. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2061 I'm also one of the top troubadours in the Holy Roman Empire. 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2062 Sometimes it's a guard-awful business. 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
2063 I'm on guard duty until the next high tide. 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
2064 I’ve been reassigned pending investigations, you? 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
2065 It’s bigger on the inside. 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
2066 My weekday job is playing Lance in Camelot. 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
2067 What is this “tidal force” you speak of? 1.2088 0.05303 91 76 11 4
2068 Beats me. I don't know why it needs a moat. 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
2069 Would you mind defending my castle while I go get a chili dog? 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2070 I don’t get many swimmers on the knight shift. 1.2087 0.04537 115 95 16 4
2071 When the tide comes in, please make sure I am well-oiled too. 1.2087 0.04537 115 95 16 4
2072 It’s just until the moat fills. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2073 you watch the kids, I've got the castle. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2074 I know that it may be a little over the top, but this will be my son's first trip to the beach. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2075 If they build it we will come. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2076 Okay, you handle the CPR. I'll lance the jellyfish stingers. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2077 How did you know that 'Rust Never Sleeps' was my favorite Neil Young song? 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2078 Believe it or not I have a round table in my dining room. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2079 Rumour has it that they're laying off staff. I'd be worried if I were you. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2080 And when the rest of my army arrives, we'll build a bigger castle and a moat. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2081 It’s SPF 600 and rated for class B dragons. But yeah, heat stroke DOES concern me. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2082 You worried about Vikings too? 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2083 So you save incoming invaders…? 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
2084 You wouldn't believe the SPF on this suit! 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2085 I'm here to defend the castle. Who, pray tell, are you 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2086 You didn't say anything about my armor. Is it not shiny enough? 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2087 Would you mind sharing some of your sunscreen oil? My legs are starting to creek. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2088 Yes, it's a codpiece, and yes, I'm happy to see you." 1.2079 0.04939 101 84 13 4
2089 I get the wildest tan lines. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2090 I alone can repel time and tide. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
2091 So if they drown, it means they're a witch. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
2092 They told me to watch over the serfs. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
2093 Yeah, someday I'll be sitting at the round table, but today I got sandcastle moat duty. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
2094 I'll hold the fort while you take your break. 1.2078 0.06225 77 66 6 5
2095 Yes, I can move one space forward and two spaces sideways, or vice versa. I was hired to save the crabs! 1.2075 0.04589 106 87 16 3
2096 I hate guard duty. 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2097 I made a moat to protect your sand castle. 1.2075 0.04780 106 88 14 4
2098 I fought for a raise successfully. 1.2075 0.04589 106 87 16 3
2099 Never the less, its a fixer upper with a water front view 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
2100 If you teach me to swim I’ll give you a tour 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
2101 I told you that I was doing the knight watch 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
2102 I’m the night shift 1.2072 0.04976 111 94 11 6
2103 Silence wench! 1.2072 0.04635 111 92 15 4
2104 One day this will be ours! 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
2105 They didn't tell you I'm just the entertainment? 1.2069 0.04332 116 95 18 3
2106 In this economy, I'll take any size I can get. 1.2069 0.04332 116 95 18 3
2107 When you say “Overboard,” do you mean in a nautical sense? 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
2108 I find it more effective than sunscreen. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
2109 The leafy seadragon, Phycodurus eques, grows to a fearsome twenty-four centimeters. I'm prepared, are you? 1.2069 0.04665 116 97 14 5
2110 Don’t look at me like that. I’m just following the King’s orders. 1.2069 0.03971 116 93 22 1
2111 Mi castle es su castle. 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
2112 I came straight here from my knight job and didn't have time to change 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
2113 No, I can't swim. I'm from central casting 1.2069 0.04664 87 70 16 1
2114 We’re lucky to have these jobs. 1.2069 0.03777 116 92 24 0
2115 I guess I thought LARPing would be less passive. 1.2069 0.05696 87 74 8 5
2116 Daddy said I can have a real one if I do a good job and don’t let anyone crush it. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
2117 Say one wrong thing to the emperor and you get demoted. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2118 I'd prefer to stay out of the water 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2119 I only use sunscreen that's SPF level 'Siege'. 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
2120 But I worked so hard on it. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2121 I feel much more relaxed since going freelance. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2122 To save the children or save the castle? That is the question. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2123 The coastguard’s finest men guarding their most impenetrable fort. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2124 You could fry an egg on my codpiece 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2125 The ad said ‘ guard needed for castle’” Jeffrey Manly Toronto, Ont 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2126 I'm a big USC Trojans fan. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2127 I got the castle, you take the rest. Ok? 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2128 Guard" is a keyword on my résumé 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
2129 Can you watch this for a sec? That snow cone went right through me. 1.2062 0.05271 97 82 10 5
2130 If the squeaking bothers you that much, let me borrow your suntan oil! 1.2062 0.04381 97 78 18 1
2131 Can I, at least, be the king of THIS castle? 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
2132 And they say chivalry is dead? You can have my sunscreen too! 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
2133 I'm getting more serious about my sunblock these days. 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
2134 the ad said someone to guard the castle! 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
2135 Honestly, it’s easier than applying sunscreen. 1.2062 0.04381 97 78 18 1
2136 Yeah? You’re wheelchair is stupid. 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
2137 His Lordship has gone to the snack bar. 1.2062 0.04381 97 78 18 1
2138 As they say, ‘whatever floats your moat.’ 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
2139 The castle looked bigger in the guard job posting 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
2140 You guard the lives, I'll guard the castle. Deal, M'lady? 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
2141 I have the castel and the moat. I just need a damsel in distress. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
2142 In case the moat is breached. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
2143 I’m the new sand castle guard. 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
2144 Oh, the Dynasty really started going downhill after the last tide. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2145 How the hell do we get in? 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2146 You call that a suit? 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2147 I think I'm more equipped to defend a castle ... 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2148 Do me a favor, if anyone asks tell them your name is also Spartacus. 1.2056 0.04739 107 89 14 4
2149 Attracts lots of little people in scuba gear looking for Disneyland 1.2056 0.04351 107 87 18 2
2150 Oh, that's not my castle. I'm just working remotely today. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2151 I swore a solemn oath to my liege lord to protect and defend this castle -- but, having said that, happy hour sounds great! 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
2152 I’m waiting for high tide to storm the castle. 1.2054 0.04233 112 91 19 2
2153 "No sunblock, but I do apply non-stick cooling oil. 1.2051 0.04467 117 97 16 4
2154 It’s a temporary gig 1.2051 0.04124 117 95 20 2
2155 I'm not trying to be one........ Because it reflects better than oily sun screen. 1.2051 0.04124 117 95 20 2
2156 My daughter is a princess. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
2157 Not ideal for swimming, but it's 15,000 SPF. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2158 Whose life are you guarding, in particular? 1.2048 0.04457 83 66 17 0
2159 Fake it ‘til you make it—amirite? 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2160 It turns out I had a very narrow mindset about what an "Armored Guard" job was. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
2161 I did not plan on his Lordship’s moat having a riptide. 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
2162 Low tide and rust are my worst enemies. 1.2045 0.05636 88 75 8 5
2163 They are paying me twenty-teo bucks an hour to defend the castle 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2164 In case of an attack by dragon flies. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2165 Second amendment circa 100 BCE 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2166 Here's the Deal. You deal with the sharks, I'll deal with the Dragons 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2167 I’m a fief-guard, you see. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2168 I'm just a pawn in the king's elaborate shell game. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
2169 You did great for your first day, but you can't spend the night" 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2170 I'm your medieval twin 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
2171 So, my roommates showed me the movie JAWS last night… 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
2172 The moat for the castle wouldn't fill properly so they hired me for security. 1.2043 0.04204 93 74 19 0
2173 The Seaside Renaissance Festival has had downsize substantially, but the parking is amazing. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2174 I said I only rescue damsels in distress, not incels. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2175 This beach has been popular with visitors since 1066 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2176 I hope I don’t have to choose between saving my castle and someone drowning. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2177 It’s called Knight Shade spf 1400 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2178 Yeah, well I protect it from dragons, so Nyah! 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2179 Fair maidens in distress are mine, OK? 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2180 I lost the jousting competition. What did you do? 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2181 I was instructed to Dress for Success. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2182 I was sent by the Republican National Committee. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2183 Let's keep an eye on any Torjan Crabs 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2184 Yeah, but great white sharks aren’t even fire breathing. 1.2041 0.04092 98 78 20 0
2185 My kingdom for some SPF 30. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2186 It may not look like much, but the moat! 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2187 I see my role as more defensive than life-saving. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2188 You don’t get in my way, and I won’t get in yours. 1.2041 0.04342 98 79 18 1
2189 I been guarding this castle since it was constructed.....since 2:30!! 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
2190 What is 'tide'? 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2191 Usually I only work knight shifts. 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
2192 People call them perks, but really, the upkeep on a squire and steed is murder. This allows me to contemplate my next move. 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
2193 I told him the moat was overkill. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2194 I was sent to guard the castle. 1.2037 0.04315 108 88 18 2
2195 Do you ever wonder if this beach patrol station is over-staffed?" 1.2037 0.04110 108 87 20 1
2196 I'll stick around till the tide comes in. 1.2037 0.04699 108 90 14 4
2197 None shall pass! 1.2034 0.04265 118 97 18 3
2198 Could you pass me the suntan oil and the WD40? 1.2034 0.04265 118 97 18 3
2199 Knight shift. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
2200 These are some weird horses. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
2201 Have you been a Lifeguard for awhile? 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2202 Your answer is still no?? 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
2203 A knight, a castle, but I don't think the moat is designed correctly. 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
2204 The package said it’s rust resistant 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2205 You go — I'm rusted. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2206 Let's keep to our respective domains, okay? 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
2207 Would you happen to have a tide chart? 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
2208 Do you like Chinese food. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
2209 Agree to disagree on who's life is worth guarding. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
2210 Yeah, it does get hot in this suit but I save a king’s ransome on sun screen 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
2211 What’s your sigil? 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
2212 Because a three thousand mile moat can only do so much. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
2213 Remember little Tommy? He asked me to guard his kingdom, and of course I had to say yes. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
2214 The one who rescues first inherits the castle. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
2215 I'm told it's a temporary assignment. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
2216 After a while at this job, you get rusty. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2217 Well you don’t look like a guard… 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
2218 Caesar's palace, not sea shore's.. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
2219 Hast thou sunscreen? 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
2220 I find the waiting exhilarating. And the armor itchy. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2221 Protection over buoyancy, that's what I always say. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
2222 No. I’m the king of the castle! 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
2223 Guarding the castle is all in a knight's work. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
2224 You save the kid. I don't want to rust. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
2225 There is a tide in the affairs of men Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life Is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat, And we must take the current when it serves 1.2021 0.05365 94 80 9 5
2226 Downsized, yes, but at least I'm not working from home. 1.2021 0.05365 94 80 9 5
2227 I’ll take the knight watch. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
2228 Speared 4 little castle attackers so far, how many did u get? 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2229 Vikings. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
2230 You get the next one, I'm rusting. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2231 No, you're thinking of a different kind of Trojan! 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2232 The pay's not great, but I've saved a lot on sunscreen 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2233 Ok, I should have asked a few more questionsbefore I swore to protect the castle. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2234 You watch the moat. I’ve got the dragons. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2235 It's King Canute's kid's. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
2236 So...there's NOT a tiny King, Queen or even a Court Jester in there? 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
2237 See m'lady, cold water makes EVERYTHING shrink. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
2238 …yeah so I guard, like, this little fort in front right here 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
2239 I'm just an overprotective parent. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2240 Guinevere told me size doesn’t matter. 1.2019 0.04998 104 88 11 5
2241 Well, it’s better than being turned into a toad. 1.2019 0.04998 104 88 11 5
2242 It's temporary until we corral the dragon again. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2243 I've sworn to protect this castle from all threats, but I haven't yet figured out how to best the tide. 1.2018 0.04474 109 90 16 3
2244 Honey,they did shrink my castle. 1.2018 0.05011 109 93 10 6
2245 I’ll see to it that my lord, King Crab, shall swim without your interference. 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
2246 The Round Table de-moated me. 1.2018 0.04280 109 89 18 2
2247 They're called Sea Monkeys and I'm not their King, I'm their Champion. Bob is their King and he's gone beer questing. 1.2018 0.05011 109 93 10 6
2248 Nobody expects the Spanish Armada! 1.2018 0.04855 114 97 11 6
2249 I'm not a fan of sunscreen. 1.2018 0.04349 114 94 17 3
2250 I've been told that I tend to micromanage. 1.2016 0.04126 124 102 19 3
2251 Forget the swimmers. Help defend my castle. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2252 Hey dude'- the swim trunks beneath all that made by Under Armour? 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2253 Yeah, my Mom is proud of me too. She just can't figure out how to explain it to her friends. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
2254 Hot enough for you? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2255 I'm worried about climate change. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2256 My other summer job fell through. 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
2257 They laughed at Don Quixote." Or "Just saving the planet, one sandcastle at a time. 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2258 The spear is for tonight's marshmallow roast. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
2259 My therapist suggested I try being less grandiose! 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2260 Have you seen a steed? 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2261 The real work starts when the tide comes in! 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
2262 Puny turrets, wimpy moat. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2263 Well it was the only summer job that would allow me to also keep up with my cosplay. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2264 Take my word...Time has proven that my sunscreen is way more effective than yours. 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
2265 It's a guy thing 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
2266 Not all sperm are strong swimmers. 1.2000 0.05125 100 85 10 5
2267 Whenever I have to make a water rescue, I get that sinking feeling." 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2268 Dulcinea, I'm not overdresssed, high tide arrives in an hour. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2269 IKR?! 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2270 I took an oath to protect castles. 1.2000 0.04500 80 64 16 0
2271 The game’s afoot: Once more onto the beach!! 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
2272 Should we be worried about kids stomping around or the tides getting higher? 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2273 Our other investment are underwater. I'm not taking my eye off this one. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2274 I’ll guard the castle; you guard the mote. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2275 Can you watch the moat, Milly? I'm feeling a little rusty. 1.2000 0.04954 105 89 11 5
2276 They don't make em like they used to. 1.2000 0.04244 110 90 18 2
2277 Can you pretend to be a dragon? 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2278 They call me "Predator Drone." 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2279 It’s the original mineral sunscreen. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2280 I don't care if you think boarder protection is an outdated issue! 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2281 My favorite comic is "PIKES to Watch Out For" 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
2282 Are you into tiny houses? 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
2283 My nine year old said the word of the day on Sesame Street was 'insurrection'... 1.2000 0.04244 110 90 18 2
2284 Veni, vedi, veci, amirite? 1.2000 0.05749 85 73 7 5
2285 No, I won’t ‘sink like a car’ in this. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2286 A man's gotta do what he must do to protect his home! 1.2000 0.04364 85 68 17 0
2287 Oh contrair, fair maiden, this is a no-float moat. 1.2000 0.04487 115 96 15 4
2288 It’s all mine, as far as you can see, right up to the shoreline. 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
2289 At last year's visit to the beach, I lost my sandcastle to the tide. It's not happening again. 1.2000 0.04766 105 88 13 4
2290 If a storm comes your both in trouble 1.2000 0.04364 85 68 17 0
2291 Bathroom breaks are tough. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2292 Do youhave any WD-40 and a shovel? 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
2293 Got any sunscreen, milady? 1.2000 0.05519 90 77 8 5
2294 You can tell your mother that your dreams are about to come true! 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
2295 You save him. I'll stay here and guard the castle. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
2296 I gave up on the Grail. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
2297 A seahorse,a seahorse. My kingdom for a seahorse. 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2298 What can I say? I'm Middle-Aged? 1.2000 0.04500 80 64 16 0
2299 Our motto is, “ No job is too big or too small.” 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2300 I informed the employment agency I wanted a job rescuing damsels in distress and this is where they sent me. 1.2000 0.04134 115 94 19 2
2301 Budget’s been tight. We had to downsize. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2302 The dry-fit version is on back order. 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2303 How many lives have you saved? 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2304 It’s not the size that matters 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
2305 Vows are vows 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2306 Haven’t seen any dragon in a while 1.2000 0.04766 105 88 13 4
2307 better safe than sorry 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2308 It's rated SPF 1000, but that doesn't take into account the lobster pot effect. 1.1983 0.05081 116 101 7 8
2309 I’ve been renting. 1.1983 0.04101 116 95 19 2
2310 You have to save me. I can't swim in this outfit. 1.1982 0.04400 111 92 16 3
2311 All can't be quiet forever on the Western Front! 1.1982 0.04400 111 92 16 3
2312 Once the moat is full I'm off duty. Wanna binge Baywatch again? 1.1982 0.04011 111 90 20 1
2313 I'm keeping the undocumented immigrants at bay. 1.1981 0.04327 106 87 17 2
2314 You have foiled my quest to seize the castle, Guardian of Life! 1.1981 0.04724 106 89 13 4
2315 I work for Sandcastle insurance! 1.1981 0.04530 106 88 15 3
2316 …so, yeah, first I learned to weld, took some lance-handling classes, then I got the job here. 1.1981 0.04911 106 90 11 5
2317 So you don't find this at all distressing? 1.1980 0.03985 101 81 20 0
2318 I'm being paid in thalers. 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
2319 We no longer can afford a real one. 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
2320 So... how do you kill your enemies with that circular weapon again? 1.1980 0.04879 101 85 12 4
2321 I couldn’t find Platform 9 and 3/4. You? 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
2322 I think I may have over dressed 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
2323 Hi Irene, my name's Rusty. 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
2324 Oh, I'm not a lifeguard. I'm waiting for my moat to fill up. 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
2325 Why do people think “knight swimming” is so exhilarating? 1.1980 0.04879 101 85 12 4
2326 Sunburn's a bitch. 1.1979 0.05261 96 82 9 5
2327 My kingdom for a seahorse 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
2328 In my day, we were forbidden to sit while on duty. 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
2329 I am here to protect my home and castle from those who threat our way way of life. What about you? 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
2330 No serfs will be 'up' while I'm on duty, I assure you. 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
2331 I used to be just like you, but now I have a castle to think about. 1.1979 0.05048 96 81 11 4
2332 So, when are the kids coming back? 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
2333 Just let me mansplain this for you... 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
2334 It took us forever to find an Airbnb with a large round table. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
2335 I'm a little rusty until about the 4th of July - but it's great sunscreen. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
2336 Good luck protecting your mote. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
2337 You say futile, I say noble. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
2338 I think my GPS hath taken me to the wrong castle. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
2339 NO!!!! You're a dirty rascal. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
2340 and you are the dirty rascal! 1.1978 0.05682 91 79 6 6
2341 Have you got any oil? 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
2342 He came, he saw, he swam. 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
2343 A horsefly, a horsefly! My kingdom for a horsefly!” 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
2344 My own kingdom isn’t bringing in as many coppers as it used to, so I’ve had to start moonknighting 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
2345 Do you think the moat is too much? 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
2346 What makes you think I'm on the defensive? 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
2347 I may have misunderstood what they meant by life GUARD. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
2348 I'll take a shark attack over a mother who sees her kid's castle get stepped on. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
2349 Well someone’s got to protect the castle … 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
2350 Mother said it was vulgar to own a beach house, I disagree 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
2351 Should I attempt to save someone I'd be in over my head. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
2352 It's called "Gladiator: The Baywatch Years." Netflix seems to be quite interested. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
2353 You can keep your eyes on the beach., but this castle is under the watch of Sir Finturf. 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
2354 Sand is my medium; castles my subject; the ocean my enemy; rust my hazard. 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
2355 So after the rest of the Knights of the Round Table voted me out,King Arthur re-assigned me here. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
2356 It's not much of a castle, but the moat is unbelievable... 1.1967 0.04299 122 102 16 4
2357 I hate these out-of-town assignments. 1.1964 0.03979 112 91 20 1
2358 Have not ye heard the tale of Sir Gawain and the Green Algae? 1.1963 0.04491 107 89 15 3
2359 I just don't want to be another statistic, you know? 1.1963 0.04491 107 89 15 3
2360 It's embarrassing guarding a castle made by a six-year-old. 1.1963 0.04290 107 88 17 2
2361 If a dragon attacks, I’ll take it. If it’s a kraken, it’s yours. If it’s a kid, we’ll call it’s mom. 1.1963 0.04491 107 89 15 3
2362 In this world of cost-cutting layoffs, thanks to Private Equity leveraged buy-outs, you take what work you can get... 1.1963 0.04868 107 91 11 5
2363 I'm just waiting for them to lower the bridge. 1.1961 0.05031 102 87 10 5
2364 Are you free tonight? I get off at high tide.” 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2365 That's got to be the biggest moat I've ever seen just beyond this castle. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2366 Can you pass me the sunscreen? 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2367 My lance is no match to your whistle to get their attention. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2368 Is it pronounced “by-de-sea-a” or “boo-di-ca”? 1.1961 0.05031 102 87 10 5
2369 Do you sometimes feel life slipping away? 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2370 That Dungeons and Dragons obsessed billionaire kid's family hired me. And you? 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2371 My lady, the fortress will be breached by sunset. The time to act is now! 1.1959 0.04051 97 78 19 0
2372 I'm in charge of the beach for the next six hours 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
2373 I go off duty when the moat fills. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2374 You can't believe the cost of building moats... 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2375 It’s a working vacation. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2376 If we have to go in bring the WD-40. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
2377 Shark Duty 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
2378 Might you have surplus rustscreen you could spare?" 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
2379 It' looks like sand,but it's made of "armortec" 1.1957 0.05407 92 79 8 5
2380 Kids these days have no idea how to defend a shoreline outpost. I blame that Ticky Tock. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
2381 Too hot to conquer the castle today 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
2382 When are the enemies coming? 1.1957 0.04437 92 75 16 1
2383 NATO watching over Ukraine 1.1957 0.05182 92 78 10 4
2384 The hours are OK, but it's the benefits that keep me in the suit 1.1957 0.04159 92 74 18 0
2385 I took this entry level position guarding the King’s sandcastle. If I’m successful he said I probably won’t get beheaded. Still better than working at Walmart. 1.1957 0.05182 92 78 10 4
2386 It's all I could afford 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2387 It's quite a different story if we're ebbing or flowing. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2388 As a matter of fact, yes, every knight swears an oath to protect all castles, big & small. 1.1954 0.05626 87 75 7 5
2389 Defending property saves lives. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
2390 Will you spot me in the event? I’m thinking I might rust, or sink. 1.1954 0.04276 87 70 17 0
2391 I suppose if you put it that way, I'm a Lifeguard too. 1.1954 0.04276 87 70 17 0
2392 Once upon a time… 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2393 A castle’s a castle... 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
2394 Who has better sun protection 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
2395 Is this a sun protection thing or a castle protection thing? 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
2396 My shift here is over when the tide comes in. 1.1951 0.05869 82 71 6 5
2397 Oh, I've had worse jobs. It's murder on my tan, though. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
2398 I'm on guard duty protecting the sand castle from looters. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
2399 You usually try to get all the bathroom needs before it goes on. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
2400 So, the castle will fall apart and we will be here watching, the job is pretty much that. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
2401 Don’t worry. In this economy, lots of people have had to downgrade. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
2402 I’ll take the night shift. 1.1949 0.04383 118 99 15 4
2403 I am sworn to protect this kingdom until high tide. 1.1949 0.04545 118 100 13 5
2404 You don't take your job very seriously, do you? 1.1948 0.06142 77 67 5 5
2405 This downsizing is rough. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2406 I built it so people wouldn't ask so many questions. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
2407 I got fired for wearing this at White Castle, so this job just made more sense!! 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2408 We will vanish with time and tide. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
2409 I know a thing or two about how empires are defeated. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
2410 My glasses broke and I thought the application said, "fiefguard." 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
2411 Yes, I have been accused of helicopter parenting 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
2412 I thought he said “En Garde”. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
2413 I think the moat gives it pastiche, don't you? 1.1947 0.04329 113 94 16 3
2414 Guess I was demoted 1.1947 0.04680 113 96 12 5
2415 And that's where I draw the line in the sand 1.1947 0.04329 113 94 16 3
2416 It’s a union thing 1.1947 0.04508 113 95 14 4
2417 Look, lady. You do what you gotta do. I’ll do what I gotta do. That’s all there is to it. Take a deep breath and relax. 1.1944 0.04643 108 91 13 4
2418 It’s a moat point 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
2419 King Canute is on a bathroom break" 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
2420 I'm interested in an authentic presence up here. 1.1944 0.04826 108 92 11 5
2421 Oh dear,the scale was off again. 1.1944 0.04453 108 90 15 3
2422 The Defending The Realm business is tough these days 1.1942 0.04588 103 86 14 3
2423 I’ll cover the moat, you cover the ocean 1.1942 0.04153 103 84 18 1
2424 Does the concession stand have mead? 1.1942 0.04791 103 87 12 4
2425 Where a castle needs guarding, I go. 1.1942 0.04791 103 87 12 4
2426 It’s small but still functional. 1.1942 0.04153 103 84 18 1
2427 Yeah being a castle guard is tough but this one is Tom Cruise’s. 1.1942 0.04791 103 87 12 4
2428 I know, but I still use SPF 30 just to be safe. 1.1939 0.04268 98 80 17 1
2429 It's just a temp position. 1.1939 0.04014 98 79 19 0
2430 Your castle is so sick. My castle isn’t nearly as cool as your castle. 1.1939 0.05161 98 84 9 5
2431 I’m covering the knight shift. 1.1939 0.04508 98 81 15 2
2432 It's hot as all get-out, but it's SPF 1066. 1.1939 0.04508 98 81 15 2
2433 Since I can't swim, this is the only job on the beach. 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
2434 You’d be surprised how few people see my job as pointless. 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
2435 The moat is all mine. 1.1939 0.04014 98 79 19 0
2436 Excuse me, milady, hast thou seen any dragonflies?... 1.1939 0.04508 98 81 15 2
2437 You rescue the swimmers in trouble; I’ll protect the castle. 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
2438 This is my first time working for a billionaire. You? 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2439 The king told me told to guard the castle while he boogie boards. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
2440 They were out of stock on sunscreen. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
2441 Oh you meant night shift 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
2442 So, we elevated the house and added French drains 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2443 I repose only because me thinks the mote will hold. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
2444 The tide is coming. 1.1933 0.04182 119 99 17 3
2445 They said go guard the castle. 1.1933 0.04182 119 99 17 3
2446 This motherfucker… 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
2447 Would you mind keeping an eye on the Shire while I run off for a few moments and uh, slay a dragon? 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
2448 After you train me, I'm on the Knight Shift. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
2449 You guys on day shift sure take a more relaxed approach to guarding the castle. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
2450 I’m the knight guard. My job is to guard the sandcastle. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
2451 My dermatologist said I needed to use the strongest protection available. This is SPF 1,000,000. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
2452 If you lend me your suntan oil, I’ll scratch your back with my spear. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
2453 Just so we're clear, my duties do not extend beyond the moat. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
2454 I get off at high tide. Want to go for a tankard of mead? 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
2455 Just let me know if you're in distress. 1.1932 0.04233 88 71 17 0
2456 I enjoy jousting high tides instead of windmills. 1.1930 0.04109 114 94 18 2
2457 I’ll be out of a job in an hour. 1.1930 0.04806 114 98 10 6
2458 I'm certified too. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2459 Fair lady, are you sure this isn’t station XXVI? 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
2460 You know there's no water in that moat,don't you? 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
2461 I’ll be ready for high tide this time. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
2462 Be wary of all horses, wooden or inflatable. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2463 You may be one of the beach "life" guards, but I'm the King's only castle guard. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2464 Ah,dang! You got a whistle? 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2465 I've added a bit of staging to go with my medieval sun screen 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2466 Mine’s bigger. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
2467 Sink or swim, I’m guarding this place. 1.1927 0.04604 109 92 13 4
2468 Yes, I suppose your way gives better protection against skin cancer. 1.1927 0.04219 109 90 17 2
2469 This is your first warning. 1.1927 0.04785 109 93 11 5
2470 The moat will not be breached on my watch! 1.1927 0.04785 109 93 11 5
2471 I’d like to date you, but I like Lance a lot. 1.1927 0.04785 109 93 11 5
2472 How are your benefits? 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
2473 On-the-job training. 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
2474 Since when is it chain mail optional? 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
2475 Tanya, every castle needs a guard. Don't look at me like this is crazy. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
2476 You guard lives? No way, I guard castles! 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
2477 On a positive note, I don’t get sunburned. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
2478 I know it's my turn to rescue, but I'm in a suit of armor 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2479 My king has taken a leave to go splish-splash. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2480 No worries…I got this! 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2481 Creating a memory! 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2482 When I run on the beach, I worry my armor jiggles too much. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2483 I’m a Medieval English Lit major. You?” 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2484 I’ll be leaving as soon as the tide comes in! 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2485 You guard the beach, I'll guard the castle. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2486 I heard there were shark sightings 1.1919 0.03978 99 80 19 0
2487 The pay is great, but the constant rebuilding is a pain in the ass. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2488 A fair maiden needs a knight in shining armor, and lots of sunblock. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2489 Safety’s first. Am I right? 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2490 Every summer I wait here to defend the beach against the white walkers from the United Kingdom. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2491 Might thou have an extra Floatie? 1.1918 0.04640 73 59 14 0
2492 It protects me from the sun - rust is the problem. 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
2493 I might need rescuing after the moat is filled. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
2494 You take care of your area and I'll take care of mine. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2495 It’s actually hysterical, but you had to be there. 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
2496 I swear the ad said, "Knight Watchman" 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2497 For you it's a day job, for me it's a knight job. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2498 Our job is, if we see a sand crab we save the sand crab 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
2499 My family takes the building and defense of sandcastles very seriously." 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
2500 Are going to just sit there, or are you going to defend it? 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
2501 Moat, shmoat. 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
2502 Sure it's impractical for swimming, but hey, SPF 10,000! 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
2503 And so, I took this job when the horse went lame." 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
2504 So yeah I told them I had IBS and that’s why they wouldn’t hire me at the pool which honestly I think I could file a suit. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2505 I was certified by the king himself, thank you very much! 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2506 How does this sound for my Tinder profile?: I live in a tiny house and take SPF protection very seriously. 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
2507 And since when exactly is sunscreen considered a weapon of defense? 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
2508 What… is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
2509 ...because the dragon told me this is where we would face off. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
2510 THE MOAT HAS A NASTY RIPTIDE 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
2511 You do your swim save thing, I got the sand castles. 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
2512 Behold, a damsel in a tower! A quest is upon us! 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
2513 You think I could SWIM in this armor? Not in my job description. Just guarding the castle. The swimmers are yours. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
2514 I’m not trying to upstage you, I’m out of sunscreen. 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
2515 Well, someone has to protect the castle! 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
2516 Gives me something to do while I'm waiting for someone to drown. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
2517 You should really start taking UV protection seriously 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
2518 So think of this, but 10x bigger and not made out of sand, that’s what I protected 1.1909 0.03980 110 90 19 1
2519 When I do something, I'm all in. 1.1905 0.04300 105 87 16 2
2520 On second thought, maybe you help drowning swimmers and I'll handle the dragons. 1.1905 0.04707 105 89 12 4
2521 My knight shift ends when the tide rolls in. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
2522 Sun block. Never use the stuff. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
2523 I'm a middle aged parent, but my kids took it one step too far. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
2524 I pledge to guard this castle with my life, however, once the temperature hits 80 degrees I'm out. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
2525 I'm only here until high tide. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
2526 Do you know where we can find a tiny horse? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
2527 Do you mind doing the rescues today? I'm a little rusty" 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
2528 I belong to a private military contractor hired to guard this castle. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
2529 It just helps me feel more "at home." 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
2530 Can you spare a bit coin or two? 1.1905 0.04897 105 90 10 5
2531 You saw what happened in Ukraine. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
2532 I focused more on the castle. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
2533 Knights in shining armor need to be trained for all kinds of rescues. 1.1905 0.03857 126 104 20 2
2534 I SAID I NEEDED SOMEONE FROM DAY WATCH!?? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
2535 Ever since coronavirus shut down the Renaissance Fair, I feel like I’m just a shadow of my former self. 1.1905 0.04300 105 87 16 2
2536 I'm cooking like a cake in this armor, I have rashes in places you wouldn't even believe, and my ex-wife left me with nothing except this sand castle. 1.1901 0.04282 121 102 15 4
2537 Please don't blow the whistle on our Trojan Horse plan. 1.1900 0.05064 100 86 9 5
2538 Tell me again what happens when the tide comes in, 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2539 Sir Seashell and Lady Boss 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2540 And thou art a fair damsel. 1.1900 0.05064 100 86 9 5
2541 You take the high tide and I’ll take the low tide and can we meet again tomorrow 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2542 The dragon is full-size. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2543 When another day at the beach turns into knight. 1.1900 0.05260 100 87 7 6
2544 You are in charge of the moat. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
2545 Ha! I'll bet tide waits for this man! 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
2546 It was important to me to find a purpose beyond just “saving lives” 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
2547 Do you mind if I move over a few generations? 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
2548 I sometimes sense vague yet perceptible signs that my very way of life is threatened 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
2549 We are the knights who say “no swimming until an hour after eating!” 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
2550 My dermatologist recommends complete protection." 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
2551 I have sworn an oath to protect the castle. You watch the swimmers. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
2552 Were you duped by a horse too? 1.1899 0.04441 79 64 15 0
2553 My prankster friend said lifeguards at the Renaissance Faire always wear armor. 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
2554 Waiting for Putin. 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
2555 Get with the program! 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
2556 It’s my final day of training and I’ll either sink or swim. 1.1895 0.05247 95 82 8 5
2557 Lifeguard or not, you won't be getting past that moat. 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
2558 The main door is a weak point, we need to teach these kids defensive fortification. 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
2559 I may be old-fashioned but I am not delusional. 1.1895 0.05030 95 81 10 4
2560 In my experience, there's only dragons at low tide. 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
2561 I totally misunderstood when they asked me to work the night shift. 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
2562 I identify as Lilliputian. 1.1895 0.05030 95 81 10 4
2563 Sea levels are rising but we are not going to retreat without a fight! 1.1892 0.04343 111 93 15 3
2564 Hi I’m the new night guard 1.1892 0.04527 111 94 13 4
2565 Got any sunscreen? 1.1892 0.04527 111 94 13 4
2566 Money doesn’t go as far in California, but at least it’s on the beach. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2567 Stop worrying. The moat will save your damn little castle 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2568 Geez, here we go again; seems this ocean lays siege to my castle maybe twice EVERY day! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2569 ...and I will defend me-lady's honor, at least until the tide comes in. 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
2570 .....no dragons but The Knights of Mrs. Carter's 2nd grade field trip nearly destroyed the whole kingdom on Monday 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
2571 The Crusade lasted longer than anyone expected, so I had to take a summer job.. 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
2572 Zero security threats to report, since I took over. 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
2573 No, no I am NOT overcompensating for being downsized. 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
2574 Who needs sunscreen when you've got armor!? 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
2575 Waterfront property is really hard to come by these days 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
2576 Sure it’s a little hot but you can’t beat it for protection. 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
2577 The memo said proper Jubilee attire for all government employees 1.1887 0.04469 106 89 14 3
2578 Yes, she's an only child. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
2579 Yes, I’m moat certified. 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
2580 I used to be into body surfing the 40 foot waves. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
2581 I warn you... 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
2582 First time working the knight shift? 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
2583 My other castle's in the air. 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
2584 I'm funded though he Defense Department. No one looks very closely at anything over there." 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
2585 Listen...if your name wasn't Gywn, I wouldn't have gone to all they trouble! 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
2586 It’s high tide there is a changing of the guard 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
2587 Dost thou not fearest the sun will mar thy fair lady's complexion? 1.1882 0.05422 85 73 8 4
2588 I'm gonna take a bathroom break, will you be ok guarding the castle by yourself? 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
2589 Don't worry, I'm not going swimming. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
2590 I just went with SPF 50. 1.1882 0.04265 85 69 16 0
2591 I really feel I add a sense of ambiance to the Airbnb experience. 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
2592 They thought he needed some time by the water. 1.1881 0.04154 101 83 17 1
2593 You handle the ocean, I'll handle the moat. 1.1880 0.04193 117 98 16 3
2594 One of us is psychotic. 1.1875 0.04981 96 82 10 4
2595 My shift ends at high tide. 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
2596 Did I miss the memo about 'Casual Fridays'? 1.1875 0.05652 80 69 7 4
2597 I love everything about this job except for the tan lines. 1.1875 0.04005 96 78 18 0
2598 Beats sunscreen. 1.1875 0.04391 80 65 15 0
2599 Stay on your side and we won't have any problems. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2600 you just worry about the water, I've got the shore 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2601 No sunscreen but it gets steamy. 1.1875 0.04270 96 79 16 1
2602 Hey, Cutie. I’m your knight in shining armor. 1.1875 0.04270 96 79 16 1
2603 Pardon me, but do you happen to have any sunscreen? 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2604 I’m on duty until the tide rises. 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
2605 That movie from the 70's, Jaws, really did a number on me! 1.1875 0.04981 96 82 10 4
2606 Your fantasy of finding a ‘knight in shining armor’ is about as realistic as building ‘castles in the sand’ 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2607 As soon as you're off duty, I'm attacking. 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
2608 If a storm erupts, you clear the beach and I’ll protect the castle. 1.1875 0.04005 96 78 18 0
2609 And I told them, you'll always be employable as a medievalist. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2610 I'm waiting for the tiny catapults. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
2611 I juggle between king’s guard and lifeguard 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
2612 It's an alternative architectural feature that I call "the dry moat". It keeps my dungeons from seeping. 1.1870 0.03889 123 102 19 2
2613 Well. it is better than building 'castles in the air'! 1.1869 0.04812 107 92 10 5
2614 That bully isn’t gonna get me this time. 1.1869 0.04430 107 90 14 3
2615 I guess we will not sail to Byzantium after all. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
2616 I'll be fine until the tide comes in. 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
2617 Forsooth my armour precludes my saving souls from the sea but withal methinks I make fine castles 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
2618 I heard you needed protection from the sun. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
2619 I'm not certified for ocean rescue, so I'll guard the moat. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
2620 You don't think the moat is enough? 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
2621 They tell me your mother was a hamster? 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
2622 All the guards call it 'Castle Sisyphus.' 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2623 Are you into jousting? 1.1867 0.04530 75 61 14 0
2624 SPF 350. How about yours? 1.1867 0.04530 75 61 14 0
2625 You're a good dad, Sir. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2626 I'm to alert my kids if rising sea level poses a threat. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2627 So, how do you handle the whole going in the water with a suit of armor on thing? 1.1863 0.04772 102 87 11 4
2628 You don't exactly look prepared for Armageddon. 1.1863 0.04117 102 84 17 1
2629 I am the Keeper of the Castle. So what’s your title? 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
2630 I misread the help wanted ad. Thought they wanted someone for the courtyard! 1.1863 0.04117 102 84 17 1
2631 I'm waiting for the Queen's eightieth jubilee. 1.1863 0.04346 102 85 15 2
2632 'Guard' was in the job description 1.1863 0.04971 102 88 9 5
2633 If they don’t build that wall soon, I may be out of a job. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
2634 Well actually, it's even more secure than blockchain mail 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
2635 I'm counting on the moat. I can't move 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
2636 If they come by sea, stand behind me. 1.1860 0.04221 86 70 16 0
2637 You don't look like a damsel in distress. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
2638 It's a pretty sweet summer gig, if you don't mind tan lines. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
2639 I think that I may be in the wrong cartoon! 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
2640 What? I’ve got my shift at Medieval Times after this. 1.1860 0.03775 129 107 20 2
2641 I came in last at the swim trials. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
2642 I fear for my lady the castle will be overrun. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
2643 They won't open the drawbridge for you. 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
2644 I’m going to take it when the tide goes out. 1.1856 0.04933 97 83 10 4
2645 did not they teach you about draw bridges in school? 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
2646 Chivalry never dies. 1.1852 0.05586 81 70 7 4
2647 Yes, I’ve got plenty of experience guarding lives. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
2648 I’ll watch the moat, you take the lake. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
2649 And, this is why millennials get a bad name. Where do your priorities lie? 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
2650 Not exactly what I expected, but, hey, it's a paycheck." 1.1852 0.04343 81 66 15 0
2651 Your dentist ordered a knight guard. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
2652 You got any zinc oxide? 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
2653 I have really faire skin - and this suit is SPF circa 1200. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
2654 My greatest fear for our kingdom is high tide. 1.1852 0.04343 81 66 15 0
2655 I was told to do the knight shift 1.1852 0.04393 108 91 14 3
2656 I’ll protect my realm, you take care of yours. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
2657 Sunblock is for amateurs. 1.1852 0.04343 81 66 15 0
2658 In "Lifeguard Class", they taught us never to attempt a rescue of someone bigger than us or anyone wearing armor. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2659 You know what keeps me up at night? Hurricanes and tsunamis. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
2660 If anyone’s drowning I’ll just kill them to end their suffering. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
2661 WOMAN, DISCARD YOUR SUIT OR PREPARE TO BATTLE 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2662 My God, it's REALLY hot! 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2663 I do know CPR - Chaste Princess Rescuing. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2664 If any man touches my castle he will need more than a mere woman to guard his life. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2665 I'm practicing for my Mar-a-Lago security interview. 1.1848 0.04069 92 75 17 0
2666 Starting to think I rented the wrong ‘guard’s’ attire… 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2667 Please don't ask. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2668 so there I was pulling this sword out of a stone... 1.1848 0.05338 92 80 7 5
2669 You watch the swimmers, I'll watch for invaders crossing the moat. 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
2670 You've got the easy job, mine's pretty much impossible. 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
2671 Beware the tides of March, but don't sleep on the tides of June. 1.1845 0.05116 103 90 7 6
2672 Did you bring the trebeachet? 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
2673 We should coordinate. I'll save the damsels in distress on land, you save them in the water. 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
2674 After work why don't we go somewhere and joust? 1.1845 0.04308 103 86 15 2
2675 If it was just for children, why would they sell this in men's size? 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
2676 How's that for a moat? 1.1842 0.04476 76 62 14 0
2677 Guinevere, is our relationship built on equity or sand castles? 1.1842 0.04476 76 62 14 0
2678 OK, you're guarding the fool swimmwers. I'm for here for Castle defense! 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
2679 This outfit? It’s a moat point. 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
2680 After the tide rolls in, I'm all yours. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
2681 Guarding the castle is hotter work than I thought! 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
2682 You call that a castle ?! 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
2683 anyone messes with my sand castle is skewered! 1.1839 0.05305 87 75 8 4
2684 You watch the ocean. I'll guard the castle. 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
2685 Just last week I saved someone who fell in the moat 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
2686 I have very little ambition. 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
2687 I fear there is high tide and traitors among us. 1.1839 0.04178 87 71 16 0
2688 When the tide comes in, you’re going to thank me. 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
2689 Shall we stroll through the castle my lady? 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
2690 I'm sorry. What's that word you used? "Quixotic"? 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
2691 It saves on sunblock 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
2692 My therapist calls it “arrested development” 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
2693 Don't even think about it! 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
2694 My kingdom for a pair of trunks! 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
2695 The last guy got beheaded after high tide. 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
2696 I have flood insurance. 1.1835 0.04729 109 94 10 5
2697 You'd need a transcontinental drawbridge to cross this moat. 1.1835 0.04156 109 91 16 2
2698 Do you mind watching the castle while I run to the bathroom? 1.1833 0.03739 120 99 20 1
2699 Sorry I’m late, horses were backed up on the Brooklyn Drawbridge. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
2700 My kingdom may have gotten smaller, but somebody still needs to guard it. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
2701 What’s a frisbee, and why is it a danger? 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
2702 SPFe 1.1829 0.05522 82 71 7 4
2703 If you spot any damsels in distress let me know. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
2704 Tiny, sandy dragons. Why? 1.1829 0.05522 82 71 7 4
2705 I'm here to staff the ramparts. 1.1829 0.05789 82 72 5 5
2706 I was told that size does not matter. I take my job seriously. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
2707 Reenactment isn’t what it used to be. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
2708 I forgot my Sunblock. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
2709 By any chance, does your suntan oil have a rust inhibitor? 1.1829 0.04296 82 67 15 0
2710 Oh,I burn very easily. 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
2711 My sworn duty is to protect the castle from the encroaching tide. Perchance do you have some WD-40? 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
2712 I think I’ve finally kicked my fear of sharks. 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
2713 I'm called in when the serf's up. 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
2714 If armed, I'll kill him; if not, you save him 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
2715 My horse suffers from aquaphobia. 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
2716 Have you seen my squire, Sandcho Panza? 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
2717 Beware of the serf's side. 1.1828 0.04310 93 77 15 1
2718 You know, I wrote a book on castle defense. 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
2719 I'll give you my spear if you give me your whistle. 1.1827 0.04483 104 88 13 3
2720 It’s the latest 100% plastic free and reusable sun protection 1.1827 0.04270 104 87 15 2
2721 ”Sand castle reminds me I sink in the ocean. 1.1827 0.04687 104 89 11 4
2722 The mayor hopes this brings in the LARPing groups. 1.1826 0.04381 115 98 13 4
2723 You watch the water. I’ll watch the castle. 1.1818 0.04622 99 84 12 3
2724 The moat's not doing a damn thing. 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
2725 It's much easier keeping watch at this scale. 1.1818 0.04135 88 72 16 0
2726 This castle has no drawbridge ! 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
2727 You guard the swimmers and I'll guard the castle. I can't swim in this trash. 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
2728 I’m Airbnb-ing my way up the coast.” 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
2729 To which Sand Kingdom do you pledge allegiance? 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
2730 What is it about cosplay that you don’t understand? 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
2731 SPF 350 1.1818 0.04424 77 63 14 0
2732 I'd love to give you a tour, but the castle is under a lockdown. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
2733 My friends call me David Hasselknight. 1.1818 0.04424 77 63 14 0
2734 Whats your mote Ive for building that sand structure and what the hell you staring at? 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
2735 Thou greatest enemy is that of high tide. 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
2736 The suit gives me SPF 100 protection. I built the castle so I would look more context-appropriate. 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
2737 Not my moat not my problem. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
2738 What are you doing after the jousting matches? 1.1818 0.04393 99 83 14 2
2739 If someone ends up in that moat, just ignore them. Okay?" 1.1818 0.04152 99 82 16 1
2740 I'm moving to the tiny house to reduce my carbon footprint. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
2741 Guarding sandcastles? I think they want me to quit. 1.1818 0.03892 121 101 18 2
2742 Give me Excalibur and I will ride by your side, and together we will vanquish high tide! 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
2743 Would you mind catapulting me some sunscreen? 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
2744 You know there’s a labor shortage, all the ad said was “heroes wanted.” 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
2745 With the price of water-front property these days, you can’t skimp on security 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
2746 Sometimes cultural appropriation is pretty cut and dry 1.1818 0.05249 88 76 8 4
2747 So, if the dragon isn't drowning, then I just go ahead and slay. 1.1809 0.03991 94 77 17 0
2748 Look, m'lady, I have his castle covered. Now, for the love of dear Zeus, go rescue Sparty! 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
2749 There’s a moat so I’m gonna take off. 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
2750 When your just not beach body ready… 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
2751 I've commanded the tide not to come in. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
2752 Laugh, but just you wait until the sand crabs attack. 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
2753 After Caesar's assassination most of his guards fled Rome to pursue other talents of preservation 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
2754 “The Valvoline I use for the rust also acts as a sunscreen.” 1.1809 0.03991 94 77 17 0
2755 Hi, I'm Rusty. Nice to meet you. 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
2756 It's just a one time thing. 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
2757 What is this "tide" that I must slay? 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
2758 Let your hair down a bit, Rapunzle! 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
2759 You protect swimmers and I'll protect the castle. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
2760 Yeah, I’m a 12th Century Millennial. This is the only home I can afford to buy. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
2761 Okay, I'll get everything up to the water and you cover everything from there out. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
2762 They told me to dress for the part 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
2763 I sink like a stone and it does get rusty, but it has an SPF of 4000. 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
2764 Today I had to stand guard. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
2765 applying sunscreen is a real problem! 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
2766 They made me start wearing this after the wooden horse incident. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
2767 Hmm.. I prefer to go with more protection. Mine's SPF 100. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
2768 I guess you could say I’m compensating. 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
2769 I’ll be here until right around high tide. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
2770 Kids are more protective of sand castles than you think they are. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
2771 They told me it was a remote location. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
2772 I have an allergy to sunscreen. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
2773 It’s a scale model of the moat where I got certified. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
2774 The tide is about to destroy my castle, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
2775 How long did it take you to create that castle, a couple of fortnights. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
2776 We had a cartoon featuring a suit of armor ten weeks ago. Why are we revisiting this tired theme? 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
2777 Lifeguard? I swear the service said Knightguard 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
2778 You're getting rusty. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
2779 If it washes away, my kids will be crushed. 1.1802 0.04087 111 93 16 2
2780 Oh, fuck! 1.1802 0.04283 111 94 14 3
2781 Sure, the armor's hot, but that castle has been there all day. 1.1800 0.04579 100 85 12 3
2782 I can't move! This salty air has corroded my suit of armor and global warming is about to consume my castle. 1.1800 0.04795 100 86 10 4
2783 Can you get that … I’m too rusty. 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
2784 I don't save. I slay. 1.1800 0.04353 100 84 14 2
2785 You’re gonna need a bigger moat 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2786 I trained with the Life Guards...how about you? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2787 Because I can't swim, that's why. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
2788 I know, so meta. 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
2789 I thought the help wanted description was for a Knight/Guard? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2790 Yeah, it’s SPF 38,000. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
2791 I figured it needed a really large moat. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2792 The sign said no knight swimming. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2793 Well one of us is going to have to change... 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
2794 I thought the ad said 'Sandringham Castle.'" Lynne Knight Lodi, Calif. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2795 The family trust requires I be a castle guard. 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
2796 I’m putting ‘Coast Guard’ on my CV.” @ayasi_2 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
2797 After volleyball, I've got a jousting at four! 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
2798 Yeah I just listed it for $1.6M. It’s a bit small, but right on the water. I’ve gotten 8 offers in the last hour, all over asking 1.1795 0.04373 78 64 14 0
2799 The S.P.F. is literally medieval. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
2800 You can go now if you like - I'm working the knight shift. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
2801 As Proust said, most lifeguards don't know how to swim any way. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
2802 Thy throne lacks a castle. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
2803 Camelot? No, sandlot. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
2804 I don't think this is what they meant when they said they needed someone for night shift " 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
2805 My dad's Times Square Elmo—it's waiting for me when I want it—but I gotta be me. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
2806 I'm waiting for high tide 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
2807 Mine enemies be small, but mighty. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
2808 War is Hell, my dear! 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
2809 When they described this job as feudal, I thought they were speaking metaphorically 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
2810 But you are better suited for water rescues; I am better suited for slaying land sharks. 1.1792 0.03976 106 88 17 1
2811 And that was the last time we fall for the Trojan Seahorse. 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
2812 This? Oh, my battle-axe was too heavy. 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
2813 You go high, I’ll go low. 1.1789 0.05180 95 83 7 5
2814 You might say that I am working re-moat! 1.1789 0.04728 95 81 11 3
2815 I guess it's a really big moat. 1.1789 0.04728 95 81 11 3
2816 Sure, armor can get a little hot. But I save tons of cash on sunscreen. 1.1789 0.04227 95 79 15 1
2817 You can rest. I'll protect the castle. 1.1789 0.04728 95 81 11 3
2818 I always stay until the moat gets filled and the castle is secured. 1.1789 0.04728 95 81 11 3
2819 Your castle is going to be destroyed by the next high tide no matter what you're wearing." 1.1789 0.03954 95 78 17 0
2820 Easy job. Hard to drown in a three-foot deep moat. 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
2821 I'm glad we are over that whole "help, help me" thing. 1.1789 0.04227 95 79 15 1
2822 I didn't realize I was being transferred to Camelot Beach Resort and Casino. 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
2823 The king never learned to swim. 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
2824 Your castle building skills gave you away Cersei. 1.1789 0.04728 95 81 11 3
2825 This is just my summer job. 1.1789 0.04227 95 79 15 1
2826 Where's this shield against the sun that you are talking about?. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
2827 I thought I would find a damsel in distress, but so far it has just been hermit crabs. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
2828 $26 an hour? I used to get paid in mutton to defend these things. 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
2829 I said none shall cross! 1.1786 0.04611 112 97 10 5
2830 My last gig? For King Canute - why do you ask? 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
2831 Your a lifeguard. I am castle guard. 1.1786 0.04054 112 94 16 2
2832 This "Game of Thrones : Malibu Shores" is ridiculous 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
2833 I drew the short straw. 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
2834 I've rusted. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
2835 Hey, Rome wan't built in a day, you know! 1.1786 0.04247 112 95 14 3
2836 My day job is a lifeguard My night job is at the Renaissance fair 1.1786 0.05399 84 73 7 4
2837 As a matter of fact, it is my home. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
2838 Drinks later? My shift ends at high tide. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
2839 Who are you protecting? I asked first 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
2840 You're going to regret not having a higher Sword Protection Factor when thine enemies lay siege to thy castle! 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
2841 It's the last defense against global warming and rising sea levels. 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
2842 Wearing your colors? You're kidding me, right? You don't even have your gown on while I'm cooking in the armor! 1.1782 0.04313 101 85 14 2
2843 I have been sworn upon my honor to defend this castle which is pretty ridiculous if you ask me. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2844 So much for crossing the Rubicon... 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
2845 I'll have to cut our conversation short. The SPF on this baby goes way down with the visor up. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
2846 Corporate says I can only help if they’re in the moat, otherwise its on you. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
2847 the queen sent me 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2848 Don't worry about the spear, it's rubber. 1.1781 0.05962 73 64 5 4
2849 Knight takes queen to dinner? 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2850 We should have an impenetrable moat at high tide 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2851 No thanks, I don't need any sunscreen. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2852 The construction crew will be here in about an hour for the drawbridge. 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
2853 It's a trap for Royal raiders from across the sea. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
2854 I'm fighting sea rise. 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
2855 I’m hoping King Arthur returns before high tide. 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
2856 It's the last time I felt really secure. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
2857 I usually work nights. 1.1778 0.04053 90 74 16 0
2858 When the King said 'lifeguard' I thought he meant... 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
2859 It’s an ideal job for guys who build castles and spear fish. 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
2860 I have rescued many a damsel in over her head. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
2861 How else would I guard a life? 1.1778 0.04053 90 74 16 0
2862 Yeah, I am having a blast at parenting… 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
2863 Technically, I was here first 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
2864 He makes an exception for the nudist beaches. Except for my spear of course! 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
2865 I’ll cover everything inside the moat. 1.1776 0.04160 107 90 15 2
2866 My castle sank thanks to global warming, but I don't get paid if I not guarding something. 1.1776 0.04753 107 93 9 5
2867 It's the rogue waves I worry about the most. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
2868 They asked me to be on the lookout for knight swimmers." 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
2869 This was not my first choice for a summer job. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
2870 I wish they'd told me there would be another lifeguard on duty...I could have used the help yesterday when the tide came in. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
2871 My Fort, My Rules! 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
2872 I’m waiting for the drawbridge to come down 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
2873 Do you know how to do CPR on a king crab? 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
2874 We do have multiple offers on this castle. We must settle on one before the Feds meet next! 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
2875 They say 'tis a good spot for damsels and dragonfish. 1.1770 0.04213 113 96 14 3
2876 It is a perpetual fixer-upper, me lady. 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
2877 Ive also stopped driving a car to stop sea level rising. 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
2878 No,not a mote,does it have a remote? 1.1765 0.03793 102 84 18 0
2879 I'm a moat guard, not a moot one... 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
2880 It’s ok, it’s stainless steel! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
2881 Most of my buddies have wet suits - the armor works better than sunscreen. 1.1765 0.04496 102 87 12 3
2882 Dost thou joust? 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
2883 Strategic planning for next 1/6 event 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
2884 I might put on too much bronzer this morning. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
2885 Greetings,fair maiden. From what kingdom do you hail? 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
2886 Tide you well fare maiden 1.1759 0.04124 108 91 15 2
2887 Cry havoc should the tide advance. 1.1758 0.04013 91 75 16 0
2888 I rescued five castles last year. 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
2889 My boss told me to harden up by deploying the art of strategy. I'm trying a top-down approach, but I find myself in a metaphorical no man's land. While my heart whispers 'catapult', my head screams MINER! 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
2890 . . . so then we all climbed into a wooden horse like this, except it had wheels, and . . . 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
2891 Okay. The rules to beach Game of Thrones are simple. Ready? 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
2892 Feel free to let my boss's kid drown. 1.1758 0.05086 91 79 8 4
2893 Ohhh—NIGHT swimming! 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
2894 You protect the water front, I will guard the castle. 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
2895 Glad I have the low tide shift. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
2896 I couldn't find any sunscreen at the market because of global supply chain problems. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
2897 I'm usually on the Knight shift. 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
2898 You're the one that picked Damsels and knights. 1.1758 0.04013 91 75 16 0
2899 You can never be too careful, Shannon. 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
2900 I'm here to watch for Trojan seahorses. 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
2901 I'll watch for dragons while you watch for sharks. 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
2902 Oh yeah, Tiffany!? Who’s the king of the castle now?! 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
2903 Hey, it blocks 97% of the sun's rays--and it's less greasy than sunscreen. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
2904 Keeps my guard up. 1.1754 0.03988 114 96 16 2
2905 Just 'til high tide. You? 1.1753 0.04148 97 81 15 1
2906 Oh yeah, if the suit was metal it would be waaaay too hot. I 3D printed this out of a breathing, wicking, UPF30 polymer, reinforced with carbon fiber to protect from the pointy things. You know - knives, swords, jellyfish stingers 1.1753 0.04863 97 84 9 4
2907 I Say-You-Just There -Guardian of Lives!" I , Sir "Lance"-A-Lot, am at the ready -armour shined , lance sharpened to a point , and prepared to keep a "knightly vigil " with thee at Castle "Come-A-Lot!" Care to ac"com" pany me? 1.1753 0.04863 97 84 9 4
2908 Work-from home is no day at the beach, but you can’t beat the Canute 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
2909 When Harry met Meghan. 1.1753 0.04637 97 83 11 3
2910 You should have said SANDcastle 1.1753 0.04863 97 84 9 4
2911 You'll never stay a "fair" maiden in this heat 1.1753 0.04399 97 82 13 2
2912 My service ends at high tide. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
2913 I define 'in distress' slightly differently, I'm afraid. 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
2914 Elon pays me minimum wage, but I get health insurance. 1.1750 0.05839 80 71 4 5
2915 Well Julius, what shall we conquer next? 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
2916 I'm taking a break. Can you cover the moat? 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
2917 Looks like time and time waits for no kingdom. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
2918 I’m a freelancer defending the castle... until the tide comes in 1.1748 0.04236 103 87 14 2
2919 Oceanfront property isn't worth it. 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
2920 King Canute sent me! 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2921 If I had to guess I would say the spf is off the scales, unfortunately there is a rather significant chaffing issue I’m afraid. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2922 I spend more time protecting my suit from saltwater than I do defending the castle. 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
2923 When Eleanor of Aquitaine says 'Guard the Castle,' I Guard the Castle. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2924 Nobody treads on me. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2925 I'll change after the tide comes in. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2926 What? I'm just doing my job. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2927 Was the bathing suit in the job description? 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2928 Higher SPF 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
2929 What now? We wait until it comes under attack. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2930 I'm the knight-guard. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2931 The low tide shifts are the easiest. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2932 I’m your relief for the knight shift. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2933 You have no idea how many people drown every year in the moat 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2934 My castle, your castle! 1.1743 0.04090 109 92 15 2
2935 The tides of battle are fierce this day, My Lady. 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
2936 Hail, wench! I am Sir Sandy of Sandhewn, The protector of this castle! Prithee, might you tell me when your shift is over? 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
2937 When is high tide? 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
2938 I call my moat the "Pacific". 1.1739 0.05034 92 80 8 4
2939 My goodness, is that so? - I wasn't aware of any dress code changes. 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
2940 Destroy my castle - you die. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
2941 To be honest,the sand wreaks havoc to my armor. 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
2942 What? This is how all novice knights start out. 1.1739 0.05034 92 80 8 4
2943 I'm not allowed to leave until the moat fills up. 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
2944 Would you like me to knight-splain castle building for you? 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
2945 It's SPF 100, so I'm all set there, but do you have any WD-40? 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
2946 Kids are so competitive nowadays. Don't you think? 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
2947 It helps them get in the zone. 1.1735 0.03845 98 81 17 0
2948 I'm the knight lifeguard 1.1735 0.04816 98 85 9 4
2949 Like you, I hate sand in my shorts. 1.1735 0.04816 98 85 9 4
2950 Yes,I know the walk of shame is especially obvious since my night job is at Medieval Times. 1.1735 0.04109 98 82 15 1
2951 Waiting for hordes of rowdy weekenders — what're you doing?" 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
2952 No, a child made it. But thanks for asking! 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
2953 Madam, I believe there has been a mixup. I applied for the "Night's Watch" not the "Baywatch". 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
2954 SPF? 5000. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
2955 Anything to prevent getting a tan line. 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
2956 You have to decide by high tide but you can have the whole thing for a horse. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
2957 No, I said 'Hark'. 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
2958 What lifeguard union do you belong? 1.1731 0.03970 104 87 16 1
2959 I don't have the re-moat-est reason they want to have me fortify this all knight. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
2960 No drowning rescues for me today. The castle demands full surveillance. 1.1731 0.04199 104 88 14 2
2961 It’s hot in here today. 1.1731 0.04622 104 90 10 4
2962 I assumed they meant suit of armor for this position 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
2963 I'm here just for a film shoot. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
2964 The downside is my treading time has gone to hell. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
2965 That witch's 'high tide' curse seems to be once again near 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
2966 I agree with you; it is excessive for defense of the sand castle, but at least I don't need sunscreen. 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
2967 I get a lot fewer calls for help. 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
2968 I will repel all intruders - both foreign and amphibian. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
2969 I got tired of reapplying sunscreen. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
2970 I think we've got it covered. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
2971 Should I let the sea horse in? 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
2972 May I count on M'lady's assistance if the attack be from the sea? 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
2973 You haven't lived until you've peed in a gender-neutral moat. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
2974 So, are we clear on the rules for adult swim? 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
2975 caption contrived 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
2976 It was an unusually large crab. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
2977 You can’t always trust the SPF rating on sunscreen. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
2978 When you complete your training, you will be allowed to protect real objects. 1.1727 0.04256 110 94 13 3
2979 King of the Sand Castle is a real title! 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
2980 Fear not! With my mighty spear I have vanquished every dragon float to approach your castle my fair maiden! 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
2981 Dost thou cast aspersions on my method of guarding yon Castle moat? 1.1724 0.04073 87 72 15 0
2982 Let me guard the castle, since I'm not well suited for water rescues. 1.1724 0.04073 87 72 15 0
2983 Guenivire, please come home to your castle! 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
2984 Deepest apologies Sir LionHeart, I should’ve specified on Indeed what type of castle it was… 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
2985 Canute? Never heard of him.. 1.1724 0.05223 87 76 7 4
2986 See any sea horses?? 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
2987 Hej, my name is Canute. What's yours? 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
2988 I'll guard the castle. You watch the moat. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
2989 The king won't let her out for fear she'll be carried off. 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
2990 I've been hired to watch over this expensive piece of beach property. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
2991 Forgot your armour, did you? 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
2992 It makes it hard to swim, but I don't have to worry about the whole Jaws thing 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
2993 It’s time for me to draw a line in the sand. 1.1724 0.05223 87 76 7 4
2994 Mommy said this is what you wear to guard a castle, what are you guarding? 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
2995 I get it, it's your first sand castle, but don't you think this is too much? 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
2996 You dressed very minimalistic today, my queen. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
2997 It’s either this, or share a castle with like 10 other knights. 1.1724 0.05223 87 76 7 4
2998 The very purpose of a knight is to fight on behalf of a lady and her castle. 1.1724 0.05223 87 76 7 4
2999 I'll be doing the saving around here. 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
3000 Summer heat, boy and girl meet But, oh, oh, the summer nights 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
3001 You may have noticed that my suit is not designed for rescue. 1.1720 0.04983 93 81 8 4
3002 If you're interested, my requirement to enforce the Pax Romana ends at cocktail time. 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
3003 I'm willing to protect the citizens of this kingdom, but only waist deep mind you. 1.1717 0.04071 99 83 15 1
3004 Actually, I am wearing my swimming trunks underneath. 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
3005 So, I suppose you took a different oath? 1.1717 0.04317 99 84 13 2
3006 The Kingdom must be saved from impending serf invasion. 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
3007 Oh, but it's worth fighting over a pile of rocks, I suppose? 1.1714 0.04376 105 90 12 3
3008 Do you ever have the feeling your world is contracting? 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
3009 Working remote wasn't really an option for me. 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
3010 This King and Queen of the Castle thing is starting to feel a little foolish! 1.1712 0.04220 111 95 13 3
3011 If someone needs help, just yell , STAND UP. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
3012 Guarding the moat; how about you? 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
3013 Today's risk of storming the castle seems low. I can do the shopping at the supermarket if you'd like? 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
3014 Have I got a tan line? 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
3015 You take care of the swimmers while I guard the castle. 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
3016 Excuse my candor. I have mixed feelings about time travel. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
3017 I usually work the night shift 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
3018 I can only relax the moment kids enter the sea 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
3019 I can only go in kneedeep. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
3020 I have all my protection: sword, shield, armor, and SPF 75. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3021 They're small but they're vicious. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3022 I hear we’re getting a king tide tonight. 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
3023 I am feeling like barbecue today. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
3024 It’s going to take a lot more than a knight holding an arrow, an invisible sand castle building champion, and a photosensitive gymnast to take back the holy land. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3025 Could you spray me down with some Armor All? 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
3026 The thing is: I don't know if she's ready to commit. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3027 I chose my Tiny House for the view! 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
3028 The real estate market has gotten much more competitive. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
3029 I only work half day shifts. 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
3030 I mean, it’s a hell of a moat but aren’t you don’t really seem battle-ready. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
3031 Do you know how long it takes to get out of this armor to take a shit? Of course not, because the truth is you DON'T get out. You just shit inside of it. This thing has like eight pounds of shit inside right now. I'm a real knight in shitting armor. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3032 Wanna grab a drink after work? I clock off at high tide. 1.1705 0.04031 88 73 15 0
3033 Ye Tide ‘tis High. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3034 Doctor, I am the Great Clown Pagliacci. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3035 I usually work at Chippendales, so this is a nice change. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3036 If it turns out to be necessary, there's a can of WD-40 in the main chamber of the castle." (Created collaboratively with a friend. 1.1705 0.05167 88 77 7 4
3037 I'm very sensitive to sunlight. 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
3038 You wouldn’t believe how ferocious those little crocodiles are 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
3039 Hark, the tide approacheth! 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
3040 Larry didn't understand what they meant when they said he would be working the nightshift and needed to bring his own life preserver. 1.1705 0.04031 88 73 15 0
3041 My Daughter made me promise to guard the gates. 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
3042 You can handle with water rescues. 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
3043 Let me know if you need any suntan lotion. 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
3044 I'll protect you when the dragon comes 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
3045 Now I know what Antonius meant by downsizing. 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
3046 Save or spear, the race is on! 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
3047 It has a SPF of 80. 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
3048 Yeah, “Jaws” was great but have you seen “Joust”? 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
3049 Come here often? 1.1702 0.03897 94 78 16 0
3050 I'll guard the castle if you rescue the drowning swimmers. 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
3051 You protect the castle from the tide, I'll protect it from from everything else. 1.1700 0.04034 100 84 15 1
3052 People would be surprised how much time moat prototype testing contributes to the decades it takes to build a castle. 1.1700 0.04935 100 88 7 5
3053 Ah, that looks like the 5746th wave of the virus! 1.1700 0.04726 100 87 9 4
3054 Little Billy doesn’t want any of this! 1.1700 0.04277 100 85 13 2
3055 With the rising sea level, somebody has to guard the castle. 1.1698 0.04540 106 92 10 4
3056 Just so we're clear: I don't do the water thing. 1.1698 0.04734 106 93 8 5
3057 Sorry about last night but brief moments are kind of my thing. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
3058 No crabs are storming the castle on my watch! 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
3059 Brace yourself for the next wave. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
3060 This internship was not my first choice. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
3061 Puny lance, but I wield it well. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
3062 Another victim of supply chain issues 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
3063 You know, staring at this sand castle is a little boring. Can I go fight somebody? 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
3064 I mean what is up with kids today and their insistence on sticking with the Norman style? 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
3065 I only work Knights 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
3066 ‘The jousting starts at 2’ 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
3067 It’s not what you think: I’m guarding the castle. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
3068 A man's sand is his castle. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
3069 I was promised I would be the only occupant with my deposit. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
3070 As far as protecting this castle, I’m more worried about your angry surf than my angry serf. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3071 It hurts! This suit in the hot sun hurrrrrts! 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
3072 I thought I was supposed to put them out of their misery." 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
3073 I had to downsize. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
3074 The moat will be more impressive at high tide. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3075 What choice do I have? I'm a knight. It's swim and sink. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
3076 It's only a game. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
3077 Hate to be a pest, but I'm supposed to sit here until the water encircles the castle thereby creating a moat. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3078 You think you have poor job security. The tide comes in at three. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3079 Last time I left you in charge the seagulls tore it apart! 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
3080 What is a woman? 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
3081 You see swimmers, I see damsels. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
3082 You guard your people, I’ll guard mine! 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
3083 I have to guard the sandcastle at all time, if they are In trouble I'll call you. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
3084 where do you live? 1.1685 0.03991 89 74 15 0
3085 I will protect the castle and the raging rivulet; you rescue the drowning victims 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
3086 Watch it for me. I'm off for the Crusades. 1.1685 0.04856 89 77 9 3
3087 So then, Merlin wondered if a means to protect a sand castle might be invented in the future which would have applications in our times. And, since I lacked seniority, I ended up here. Well, I was here already, I mean now. 1.1685 0.03991 89 74 15 0
3088 So you think the weapon is too much? 1.1685 0.03991 89 74 15 0
3089 Really, Diane, I'm all woman under this male disguise. 1.1685 0.03991 89 74 15 0
3090 It's kind of like a summer course for extra credits... 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
3091 Who said Rome wasn’t built in a day? 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
3092 I am here for the sun. 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
3093 I’ll keep an eye on the moat. 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
3094 Don't ask! 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
3095 We have to talk funny. But root beer and turkey legs are a perk. 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
3096 Joisting gigs are hard to come by these days. 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
3097 I always try to look the part. 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
3098 I was out of SPF 50 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
3099 I only work during high tide when the moat floods. 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
3100 Your beach is breaching my beachhead.” 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
3101 Hey girl... aren't you a little overdressed for the place. 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
3102 You will have all the rights and privileges due to a vassal once your oath is made to me. 1.1683 0.03997 101 85 15 1
3103 While I'm on break, don't let any horses cross the moat. 1.1683 0.04238 101 86 13 2
3104 - ‘Yes, my Lord’s holdings have dwindled, ever since the vote came in. Still pays well though’. 1.1683 0.04465 101 87 11 3
3105 I find your onlyfans account captive 1.1682 0.04090 107 91 14 2
3106 Work is very hard to find these days. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
3107 You might be a little overdressed for summer. 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
3108 Do you guard here often? 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
3109 When the King sees me working on vacation, I'll be in for a promotion. 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
3110 They’re called breasts and we all have them. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
3111 Your guard uniform is going to get you killed 1.1667 0.03950 90 75 15 0
3112 It keeps from being sunburned 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
3113 They said, don't forget protection. 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
3114 We are just testing a design concept. 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
3115 You had better have that penis covered… Because this is the last time I want to see it ‼️… that’s my choice ✅ 1.1667 0.04837 96 84 8 4
3116 So the King said, “Protect the Castle” 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
3117 You do not need to rub it in - the moat IS wide 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
3118 If you need me to rescue you from dragons, just blow your whistle. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
3119 The day has come, our training will serve us well. 1.1667 0.04055 108 92 14 2
3120 Sorry, I’m allergic to apples 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
3121 Meet you in the castle at 5. 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
3122 Those Sea Urchins can get rough. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
3123 Never surrender. Never. 1.1667 0.05059 90 79 7 4
3124 Where’s your sun block? 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
3125 This is Texas, Ma'am. We take our "Castle Doctrine" seriously. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
3126 I'm Into Fantasy Lifeguarding" 1.1667 0.03961 102 86 15 1
3127 I'm headed over to White Castle soon. Can I get you anything? 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
3128 Leave my moat alone. 1.1667 0.04263 108 93 12 3
3129 Once the moat is completely filled, the Kingdom is finally safe. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
3130 For me, life's a moat. 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
3131 The moat is on my watch. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
3132 Thanks! Your Kinda Canute too! 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
3133 You live around here, too? 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
3134 I went to U.S.C.; and that's my little moat -- right there. 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
3135 I'm pretty sure armor is at least SPF 1,000,000. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
3136 I used to work in politics, this is way more fulfilling 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
3137 no no no— knights are NOT cops. knights are heavily armed protectors of the interests of the ruling class. honestly, it’s really tight. we can kind of do whatever we want 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
3138 I trust you, but I’m just really proud of my castle. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
3139 When the theme park laid me off I had to come up with another option. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3140 It was the only protection from the sun still in stock. 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
3141 No, it wasn't an evil magician's curse - I can't move, the salt in the ocean spray has rusted together all the armor's joints. 1.1667 0.03708 102 85 17 0
3142 It's not my fault, my parents forced me to eat my greens! 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
3143 I'll protect the castle. You protect the serfs. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3144 If the duke's kids try to knock down my castle, I'll be ready. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
3145 Don't look at me! The ad said guards needed!! 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
3146 As far as training assignments go, this one's not bad. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
3147 Hey, this job didn’t even exist before Zuckerberg bought this beach. 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
3148 Only difference is health benefits on the knight shift. 1.1667 0.05311 84 74 6 4
3149 I combined all my teen age Medieval dreams of being a good knight, building and protecting a castle and saving lives. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3150 Oh yeah? What if there are sharks? Who’s going to look stupid then? Or Vikings? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
3151 It wasn't built in a day, you know. 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
3152 You handle rescues beyond the beach. I'll cover the moat 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
3153 No, I never passed the lifeguard exam—I simply conquered this kingdom’s throne. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
3154 Is it just me or is this summer really dragon? 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
3155 I'm also a Boy Scout who needs one more badge. I keep count building towers on the castle, 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
3156 Your dating profile said you were looking for a knight in shining armor 1.1667 0.04360 96 82 12 2
3157 Well, I usually just do the knight shift, but y’know, staff shortages and that... 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
3158 I hate sunscreen. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3159 I know how to guard against Visigoth invaders but this whole “rising tide” thing I’m hearing about seems like it might be a bigger problem 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
3160 Yeah, you could drown in a bathtub too...but I'm protected from all those jellyfish, sharks, anemones and such. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
3161 We agreed when we bought the place: I handle everything exterior, you handle everything interior. 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
3162 You could save a lot on sunscreen if you invest in one of these babies 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
3163 I just keep a lookout for tiny damsels in distress. 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
3164 A lot of strength, size & power is required in guarding my kingdom. 1.1650 0.04161 103 88 13 2
3165 I'm can save the damsel in distress, unless she's in the water. 1.1649 0.04061 97 82 14 1
3166 It's a Cosplay thing, but I'm just doing it for my girlfriend. 1.1648 0.03911 91 76 15 0
3167 This is just my daytime job, during the knight I watch for enemies. 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
3168 How do you cover the tan lines? 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
3169 You drown people in the mote? 1.1648 0.03911 91 76 15 0
3170 You just pay attention to the bathers. I’ll save the castle 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
3171 Problem? 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
3172 Teenaged stompers, fair maiden Brandi. Then dragons. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
3173 It's an entry level job, but the benefits are nice. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
3174 Do you not know that there is a tide in the affairs of men? 1.1647 0.05512 85 76 4 5
3175 Again: it’s not spelled “Newt!” 1.1647 0.04978 85 74 8 3
3176 Now my bay watch begins. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
3177 Do you think spf 200 is enough? 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
3178 You handle the drownings, and I'll handle the sand dragons 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
3179 So, after I defeated Death at chess we moved on to the sand castle competition. 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
3180 Your flank is exposed. 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
3181 It's more an Honorary Title now. You can just call me Joe. 1.1647 0.04978 85 74 8 3
3182 I'll guard the castle and the moat, you take the rest. 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
3183 You're Guinevere." 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
3184 I know it's not much, but it is a little place I like to call "home." 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
3185 A mote in your eye. 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
3186 What is sunscreen? 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
3187 I didn't build this to have some dragon come along and stomp on it." 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
3188 I’m not even reMOATely qualified to save anyone! 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
3189 There's a big sale at armorclothes.com this weekend. Check it out. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
3190 The Noble King Timmy has entrusted me with guarding his castle while he is away for Sunscreen reapplication and a Peanutbutter & Jelly banquet 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
3191 Your armor doesn't look very safe. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
3192 Does my moat float your boat? 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
3193 Break times I'll take your ocean if you'll take my moat. 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
3194 I 've come in a time machine 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
3195 I usually just work knights. 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
3196 Would you like to grab a beer after the tsunami? 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
3197 I'm protecting it until the tide comes in 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
3198 So you don't think I'll be able to guard the castle. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
3199 My first quest was to slay a dragon ice sculpture. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
3200 This armor is SPF 10,000. 1.1635 0.03891 104 88 15 1
3201 As you can see, it's a black flag day for swimming -- so what are YOU doing here? 1.1635 0.04345 104 90 11 3
3202 Your beach is trespassing my beachhead.” 1.1633 0.04743 98 86 8 4
3203 It's a job!! 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
3204 ...I forgot to pick up my laundry, so it was either this or my tuxedo. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
3205 Time and tide wait for *me* 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
3206 Somebody has to defend it. 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
3207 Object in photo appeared larger.” Sara Azarm, New York, NY 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
3208 I said "This castle hath a pleasant seat; the air nimbly and sweetly recommends itself unto our gentle senses." 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
3209 Can you save me if I start going under? 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
3210 Thy moat shall be filled by 2pm. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
3211 I’m usually just the knight guard but Romulus called in sick 1.1628 0.04924 86 75 8 3
3212 There be dragons in them waters. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
3213 I'm having a homesick day today. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
3214 You can defend the swimmers. I'm defending the castle! 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
3215 Once the moat fills - my work is done. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
3216 Are you busy tonight? Perhaps we can get together? 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
3217 The most is your purview but I’ll take the castle 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
3218 Obviously I am happy about saving money by not needing sunscreen but the salt air is brutal on my armor. My visor rusted shut twice last week. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
3219 This way I have an excuse for not trying to save anyone. 1.1628 0.04924 86 75 8 3
3220 DEFENDING MY TERRITORY 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
3221 I'll keep the tide from ruining it this time. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
3222 Is it still worth defending this way of living, in front of the rising tide? 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
3223 Hey, I’ve got free passes for Medieval Times if you want to go sometime.” 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
3224 We can't afford to lose any more good army men in the moat. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
3225 He was all like "a horse a horse" and I was like fuck this Plantagenet bitch ass bitch and I ventilated his ass. Teach that motherfucker to swim on my beach. 1.1625 0.05467 80 71 5 4
3226 How do you expect to protect these people without armor, Ashley? 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
3227 You rescue all the dudes. I’ll take the damsels. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
3228 Just who’s supposed to BE in this invading caravan” 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
3229 It's not overkill if someone's willing to pay for it." 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
3230 8 years from now this will be irrelevant 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
3231 Smirk if you want, but it’s the ultimate in SPF protection. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
3232 Don’t you think the water is getting a little close? 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
3233 Laugh all you want. It has been years since the last attack by a serpent. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
3234 Negotiation camp will be good for him," you said 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
3235 Even with the mask down you have to re-apply hourly. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
3236 How about making it bigger so the king can live there? 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
3237 My kingdom for a dime bag? 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
3238 Yeah, it's effective - but try reapplying a suit of armor every two hours. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
3239 They say to dress for the job you want 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3240 No, YOU'RE in the wrong toon! 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
3241 This castle’s not big enough for the both of us. 1.1616 0.04473 99 86 10 3
3242 How long is your shift? 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
3243 I know my Ex still loves me! She got me this new bathing suit for my birthday." 1.1613 0.04660 93 81 9 3
3244 Yes, this is the job that I signed up for. 1.1613 0.04660 93 81 9 3
3245 Moat guard...why do you ask...?? 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
3246 My daughter, the princess, asked that I guard the castle. I don't want to blow possibly winning the 'Father of the Year' contest. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
3247 I'm free tonight. Last chance. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
3248 If you think I'm your knight in shinning armor, you've been out in the sun way too long. 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
3249 If the sharks attack I’m going to need to borrow your flotation device. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
3250 I'm just grateful the moat's shallow! 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
3251 Here’s the deal: I let you know when the little rascals are away from the shore, you let me know when they are approaching. 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
3252 So, after I get done guarding the castle, I think I'll go spear fishing. 1.1613 0.04904 93 82 7 4
3253 what housing crisis? 1.1613 0.04660 93 81 9 3
3254 Command said the tides were shifting in our favor 1.1613 0.04660 93 81 9 3
3255 This is my first week on TaskRabbit. 1.1609 0.03962 87 73 14 0
3256 Do you think the moat is deep enough? 1.1609 0.03962 87 73 14 0
3257 I’m the new hire. Should I set up further down? 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
3258 No zinc thanks, I think I'm fairly well protected. 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
3259 I have to protect the castle from rising oceans. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
3260 If this is good parenting, where's the kid? 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
3261 By land or by water? 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
3262 Check! 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
3263 You go save the swimmers. I'll handle the sharks. 1.1609 0.03962 87 73 14 0
3264 Potemkin Village! 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
3265 And remember. If you see a threatening serf approaching, sound the whistle post haste! 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
3266 Well, sure, the job is a bit depressing, but you have to admit the outfit is awesome. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
3267 Are you the spicy sand witch everyone is talking about? 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
3268 I'm here to protect it from shelling. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
3269 I’m to guard against the wanton Sir Brat. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
3270 Get real! 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
3271 I am very sun sensitive 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
3272 You rescue the swimmers. I'll hold the fortress. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
3273 My job is done when the tide comes in. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
3274 My home is my castle!! 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
3275 I'll handle the armies if you'll handle the drowners. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
3276 Do you like the flag? I feel like it might be too much. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
3277 Mine's SPF4,000. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
3278 Doth ye mind covering my bathroom break? 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
3279 Fear not my lady, whilst the kingdom may soon be destroyed, this throne shall survive unscathed. 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
3280 You do your thing, I'll do mine. 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
3281 I actually prefer dudes in distress. 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
3282 No I do not think this is too territorial. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
3283 Work is under no obligation to obey weather 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
3284 The princess's cousins are coming. 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
3285 It's been my childhood dream and I'm determined to continue.... at least until high tide. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
3286 Wouldst thou like a tour of my castle? 1.1600 0.04431 100 87 10 3
3287 Don't you fear getting sunburned? 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
3288 Looks like my shift will be over soon. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
3289 Champions, welcome! The stars have aligned, the Radhan Festival is nigh! 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
3290 What? I don’t have another zoom for an hour.” 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
3291 Your armor is rather understated. 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
3292 Yeah, but it's SPF 5000. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
3293 Sure it's hot wearing all this, but I save a fortune on sunscreen! 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
3294 I’m here just in case someone drowns in the moat 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
3295 Am I getting red? 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
3296 You on my island 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
3297 I need to go wee-wee. 1.1596 0.05085 94 84 5 5
3298 Well somebody's got to protect it from the serfs! 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
3299 Not C.P.R.! Sea.P.R.: Sea Pail Repair every hightide. 1.1596 0.04855 94 83 7 4
3300 Am I mistaken? Do you say breach or beach the castle? 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
3301 The tides of war are changing. 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
3302 You do the day,I’ll be the knight . 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
3303 What do you use for sunscreen?" 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
3304 I save alot of money on suntan lotion. 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
3305 I may need to borrow that life buoy. 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
3306 everything's relative, okay? 1.1596 0.03797 94 79 15 0
3307 I’m here to turn the tide. 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
3308 Just like any job, you've got to start at the bottom! 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
3309 I’ve been told this is where gauntlets wash ashore. 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
3310 It’s actually a swimsuit of armour” 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
3311 Are you the bishop? 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
3312 It’s hard being a stepdad. 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
3313 You'll have to go. I've already rusted. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
3314 I have an oil can, just in case. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
3315 Oh, weird. You're telling me you *save* people in the water? 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
3316 I'll cover the moat. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
3317 Today's a lot hotter than normal, right? 1.1591 0.03921 88 74 14 0
3318 You do sunscreen your way, I will do it my way. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
3319 Well, I thought we could tag team, while you keep watch out there, I stand guard over here. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
3320 You're gonna need a bigger castle. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
3321 Foolish jester I was for renouncing my allegiance to Medieval Times. Alas, they thumbed down my tourney as the black knight. But as you say. Forsooth, salt water is now my foe. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
3322 Lately I've been feeling like my skills are underutilized 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
3323 I’ve come to rescue the fair maiden who built this yesterday. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
3324 I'm telling you, the serf never breaches the moat. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
3325 Who sacrifices the knight this early anyway? 1.1591 0.04818 88 77 8 3
3326 Well, it's all I could afford when Guinevere left me for Galahad. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
3327 On the plus side, I 'm saving a bundle on sunscreen. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
3328 Spandex? Isn't it too hot for spandex? 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
3329 Some people stand on the fortress, afraid to step up to the knight 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
3330 It's SPF 500. I have very sensitive skin. 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
3331 ...so I decided to build. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
3332 There is a tide in the affairs...of... uh... lifeguards...So when does your shift end? 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
3333 I wanted to build a full scale version in the Hamptons but the design was rejected because it didn't conform to the current castle aesthetic 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
3334 I swear I said, "Your castle is grand." 1.1585 0.04058 82 69 13 0
3335 Re"moat" work these days, am I right? 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
3336 It looked so much bigger on the postcard 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
3337 I don’t usually work the day shift 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
3338 I just take the words "UV" and "protection" very seriously. 1.1585 0.04058 82 69 13 0
3339 First, I spot & aim for the fin. Next, a quick harpoon throw worthy of Queequeg. Then I reel him into the mini-moat. Voilà tout. Nice Wayfarers, by the way. 1.1584 0.04158 101 87 12 2
3340 Verily, methinks reports of a damsel in distress may be a crank. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
3341 The armor I can understand, but you could at least bring your spear. 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
3342 I’m in training for the big show. What about you? 1.1579 0.03761 95 80 15 0
3343 Fair maiden, I won’t need thy services. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
3344 You can clock out now, I've got it from here. 1.1579 0.04807 95 84 7 4
3345 I'm pitching a new show idea. You've heard of "Baywatch"; well, get ready for "Baileywatch"! 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
3346 The emperor left me to watch the castle in the year 37. I guess he's running a little bit late getting back. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
3347 Prithee young maiden -- this is how ye may prevent skin scorch. Fasten ye eyes on my suit of iron. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
3348 I misread the bulletin: I thought it said we should watch out for noble steeds, not novel STDs. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
3349 At least it’s PABA free. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
3350 I'm here to protect it until the moat floods. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
3351 If anyone tries to cross that moat, I'm ready for them1!! 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
3352 Camelot? 'Tis a silly place. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
3353 If you kill them before they drown, they count as sea dragons. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
3354 What’s on for tomorrow? 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
3355 Can I interest you in some flood insurance? 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
3356 Am I at the wrong seige? 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
3357 You cannot protect a castle with just shield. You need a lance and armor, too! 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
3358 I'm off duty when the moat fills up. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
3359 It's the ultimate in sun protection: Medie-val's SPF 500-1450. 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
3360 Sorry, I don't know the SPF rating, but it really works well. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
3361 I love working remotely 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
3362 The Knight asked the Life guard, how do I get to the castle. The lifeguard said. Take a left on moat drive, then make a right on sandy lane RD, if you come across a dessert. You’ve gone to far. The Knight said thanks, it’s going to be scorcher I should of put something lighter. 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
3363 The problem is most people think there's not much need for my work anymore. 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
3364 Life guard's a job. Life Guardian's a calling. 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
3365 So I guess you don't have to worry about sand in your armor. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
3366 I'm here only to defend the realm. 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
3367 Will you stop saying I'm overdressed for this job. I told you: I'm primarily an actor getting into character for my role tonight in 'Camelot' and building the sand castle is an exercise in building a tactile connection to the world of the play." 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
3368 How would you describe my chances at holding the castle? 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
3369 My therapist told me to live out my childhood dreams. Tomorrow, I'm dressing as a lion tamer and going to the zoo." Aaron Dickerson, Washington, D.C. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
3370 Minimum wage, but nobody’s ever drowned over here, and the free suit is SPF 500.” 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
3371 It doesn't distract from struggling swimmers, like when I used to build castles in the air. 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
3372 Well, I tell myself I'm saving on steed upkeep. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
3373 They said there’d be spearfishing 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
3374 How can you possibly guard anything without the proper weaponry? 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
3375 5th graders, you know? 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
3376 I'm here for the knight shift. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
3377 If you build it, they will come 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
3378 Catapult step safety gear 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
3379 Hi. My name is Sandy Knight. What's yours? 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
3380 When he hired me, Trump said this would show he was the king of something. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
3381 Yeah, sunscreen just doesn’t do it for me anymore 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
3382 The trick is keeping your suit dry. 1.1569 0.04120 102 88 12 2
3383 It's not breathable, but fewer people pitch me their MLMs. 1.1569 0.03619 102 86 16 0
3384 Ever heard of the quote ‘if you can’t be a tree be a bush’ 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
3385 I was told the storming of our castle was imminent. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
3386 This armor’s really hot! Just like you. 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
3387 Just slathered up with WD 40. I’m going in. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
3388 I don’t care if she’s only five. Is the moat not a clear warning? 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
3389 You do you, I'll do me. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
3390 I never go in the water without my costume! 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
3391 What SPF do you recommend? 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
3392 You are my damsel until the tide comes in 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
3393 My shift is over when the moat is full. 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
3394 You take care of the swimmers; I'll take care of the insurrectionists. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
3395 I used to work the public beach but the kingdom pays a lot better. 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
3396 Yes, I know. But if a jellyfish tries to come onto dry land... 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
3397 I hope it’s not too busy for us today. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
3398 At least I don’t need to reapply every 2 hours. 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
3399 Too much? 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
3400 They told me it was a Roman Holiday. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
3401 Are you -sure- this is the best sunscreen? 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
3402 In the old days, our job was was not to be a life guard but to kill invaders and dragons. 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
3403 It’s 12pm & all is well! 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
3404 You do know castles made of sand slip into the sea eventually 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
3405 If you wave again, I'll have to kill you. 1.1562 0.04009 96 82 13 1
3406 What did you do last summer? 1.1562 0.03725 96 81 15 0
3407 If you need a bathroom break, I got this! 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
3408 I’ve been retained by a wealthy gentleman who wishes to remain anonymous. He had a delightful afternoon at the beach. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
3409 Sir, how do you intend to protect the castle with that sword, from the rising tide? You better worry about your job, because the sword is for puncturing your life preserver just before you need to use it. 1.1560 0.04158 109 95 11 3
3410 You watch the swimmers, I'll protect the castle. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
3411 'Me? King Canute asked me to guard the castle...' 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
3412 Once you've seen one castle, you've pretty much seen them all. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
3413 You watch the water, I'll take care of the castle. 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
3414 What did you think I did in between crusades? 1.1558 0.05250 77 68 6 3
3415 I can't stay long, the salt air is bad for my clothes. 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
3416 No, I don’t have a whistle. I’m just guarding the castle till the tide comes in. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
3417 You can feel safe with me. 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
3418 I see you are perplexed fair maiden! If you will, allow me to "illumiknight" --Lifeguard by day, novelist by "knight" 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
3419 Never trust the job description. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
3420 The king requireth that I guard the castle. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
3421 I am just waiting to some one's Knight in shining armour 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
3422 Now, that's a twist on a "Thank you". 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
3423 And a frisbee thrower is a modern trebuchet. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
3424 Well, my last Castle wasn't made of sand-- and the only water nearby was a Moat. I like this one better. 1.1556 0.03842 90 76 14 0
3425 From now on, you shall call me Sir Lifeguard. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
3426 I keep guard until the moat fills up at high tide! 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
3427 Its the latest in shark protection suits 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
3428 I don’t know what they’re expecting me to do about the tide. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
3429 Kid's name was Arthur. Promised me a knighthood. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
3430 I don't save lives - I just slay dragons! 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
3431 I'm here to defend the castle. You can rescue the people who have fallen into the moat." 1.1556 0.03842 90 76 14 0
3432 I was exhausted—so I combined my day job with my knight job. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
3433 At least I never need to worry about remembering to reapply 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
3434 Tide’s out. Wanna go get some nachos? 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
3435 I'm searching for a job with safer working conditions. 1.1553 0.03843 103 88 14 1
3436 The gag is not worth feeling like a baked potato. 1.1549 0.05548 71 63 5 3
3437 My remote work strategy. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
3438 Attitude is all! 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
3439 This is only my summer gig. In the winter I’m a bodyguard for Snowmen. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
3440 “Don’t worry m’lady. We won’t be beached from the breach, or vice versa.” 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
3441 I can’t talk, I have a sand castle to protect 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
3442 Oh I get it. Because of the castle. That's real, real funny, Linda. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
3443 HIGH TIDE 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
3444 Yes, it works better than sunscreen 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
3445 You got the river, I got the castle. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
3446 I'm just looking out for any illegal asylum seekers, and if I see any I'm sending them to Rwanda! 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
3447 Unless a battering ram is involved, there all yours. 1.1548 0.04936 84 74 7 3
3448 When there’s a castle they call me in 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
3449 To win the sea forces, I must maintain the high ground. 1.1548 0.03970 84 71 13 0
3450 I only rescue damsels in distress. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
3451 I'm guess I'm supposed to keep an eye out for Trojan sharks. 1.1548 0.04936 84 74 7 3
3452 It's part of King Canute's science project. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
3453 You really don't want to see the dungeon at high tide. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
3454 In case the moat fails. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
3455 I am a knight you will NOT forget... 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
3456 Don't underestimate the power of the sand crab to lay siege, Milady. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
3457 Oye! It's my job to guard the castle. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
3458 I'm watching for the Sea Dragon's attack 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
3459 I know I look like a knight, but I’m staying because I’m king of my castle. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
3460 Relax. I'm a specialist 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
3461 Not to be too on the nose, but I think I went a little overboard 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
3462 These are the days of our lives... 1.1546 0.03690 97 82 15 0
3463 Look alive - I'm going for a dip 1.1546 0.04479 97 85 9 3
3464 The security agency said nothing to mee about sand.... 1.1546 0.04713 97 86 7 4
3465 What it's a castle! 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
3466 They didn't tell me it was the water. 1.1546 0.04232 97 84 11 2
3467 We didn’t need this big of a moat 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
3468 I'm planning on high tide to fill the moat.... 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
3469 The knight shift ends at high tide. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
3470 Yes, I did min/max my ability scores. How could you tell? 1.1538 0.04484 104 92 8 4
3471 It is a straight up swamp under this armor 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
3472 I only work the night shift! 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
3473 I'm wearing the best sun protector of all. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
3474 Oh really? How about sand crabs? 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
3475 With beachfront properties constantly going up in value, I've sworn to defend this development even at the cost of my life!" 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
3476 Did you register with the Planning and Zoning Commission? 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
3477 I forgot to bring my sunblock. 1.1538 0.03803 91 77 14 0
3478 Gone within but a blue wave moment? Thou Lib lifeguard lies! Thy noble Oil Barron who sold yonder Castle to me for a King's ransom said truthfully that Global Warming wouldn't be an issue. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
3479 A river, a moat, it will take some metal. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
3480 Thanks, but sadly, when the tide comes in, I’ll be homeless. 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
3481 It beats the heck out of sunscreen. 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
3482 Low tide, I'm headed into the village. Can I bring you back a soda? 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
3483 How's my tan? 1.1538 0.04271 104 91 10 3
3484 I gave him $3 for alligators at the snack bar. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
3485 I ain't gonna fall for no banana in the tailpipe... again. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
3486 Terrorist alert! I see the White Walkers from The Game of Thrones are coming. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
3487 I think we better try castling. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
3488 I have to use the facilities, can you watch the castle for me? 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
3489 Our castle's existence, like most things except my love for you, is fleeting" 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
3490 This is the Wine talking" 1.1538 0.04112 91 78 12 1
3491 You know, one good wave and you're Ozymandias. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
3492 I am here to cross the Rubicon 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
3493 you're having a sunstroke, cindy 1.1538 0.04668 91 80 8 3
3494 Everybody's talking about the tide, I say, you have to harden the target 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
3495 One is by land, two if by sea. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
3496 You guard lives. Me, the property. 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
3497 Now, this is what guarding is about. 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
3498 Waves When you see a hand don't just wave back 1.1531 0.04436 98 86 9 3
3499 It's my watch. 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
3500 It’s the waves of kids you really have to watch out for 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
3501 I must protect my castle! 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
3502 I know, I know — dressing for work is a losing battle, right? 1.1529 0.03927 85 72 13 0
3503 Does your suit rust? 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
3504 That's right, I'm here to fight the tide. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
3505 Dragon. Dragonfly. What's the difference? 1.1529 0.04881 85 75 7 3
3506 I've heard about a "sand castle" but I wasn't sure about that in the job application... until I saw the part of the low salary. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
3507 I just don't get it. He's a guy that always shows up! 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
3508 Have you seen any Dragon Fish? 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
3509 You can handle it if they come by sea. 1.1529 0.04881 85 75 7 3
3510 The way I see it, you can't be too prepared for a shark attack. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
3511 It isn't much but it's an honest job 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
3512 You know, you would think the creative director commissioning the cartoonists would say, "And No More Damn Knights in Armor!!!!!" 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
3513 I report directly to King Neptune. 1.1529 0.04881 85 75 7 3
3514 Once more unto the beach, dear friend. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
3515 I kid you not. I get $50 an hour to dress like this and guard their bratty kid’s sandcastle. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
3516 I could tell you why but you’d never believe me,” said Gulliver to the lifeguard 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
3517 It's a safer alternative to sunscreen 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
3518 Pardon me Madam, but your rather large moat appears to be encroaching on my kingdom. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
3519 Unlike you, I’m dressed for the job. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
3520 We all have to start somewhere. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
3521 chill out gal...you have your job, I have mine... 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
3522 What's high tide? 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
3523 William, have you considered wearing sunscreen instead of sun armor? It's a bit more light weight. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
3524 "Knight Watch 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
3525 Your Mother was a hamster and your father smelled of Elderberries 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
3526 We only need you until 4:38 this afternoon. But, we want you back at 7:10 in the morning. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
3527 I’m only a knightmare 1.1522 0.04872 92 82 6 4
3528 Do you have any sun screen? 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
3529 I suppose we both have something to guard, eh? 1.1522 0.04620 92 81 8 3
3530 I told my dermatologist I wanted SPF 1,000. He prescribed this. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
3531 Turns out guarding is not very good against water. This is my fourth castle. 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
3532 There’s no beheading anymore. Instead, if you’re caught flirting with the Queen, they assign you watch over the castle of Hermie, the Princess’ pet hermit crab. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
3533 Would you happen to have a spare tube of Rust-Oleum? 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
3534 I serve King Brandon. Maker of Castles, Eater of Crackers, and Taker of Naps. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
3535 What, you do drowners, I do drowners. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
3536 Yeah, getting wet will slow me down. But it's the uniform, y'know? 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
3537 I must defend against the Knights of Labrador. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
3538 It’s not the chinks that bother me so much as the sand. 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
3539 I like working close to home. 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
3540 He's a very small king with a very big treasury. 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
3541 It requires an advanced certification 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
3542 Zinc oxide to combat the mighty sun? Steel plating is much stronger! 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
3543 If ever you want a thrill, take the Moat Lifesaving Course. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
3544 It may only be sand to you but it's home to me. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
3545 I’ ll guard the castle you do the rest! 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
3546 I already slayed the dragon,now what? 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
3547 Given our interest in traveling, we went with the tiny house option instead.” captio 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
3548 Why don’t you just do your job and I’ll do mine. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
3549 So technically I think this is still a siege— 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
3550 With the Crusades on hold and the ASPCA anti-jousting suit, this is all I could get. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
3551 I think you are at the wrong castle. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3552 You know, I’m something of a guard myself. 1.1515 0.03896 99 85 13 1
3553 In training they told us to be prepared for danger when you least expect it, but in the most obvious places. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
3554 Your SPF 30 won’t protect against the charging hordes! 1.1515 0.03896 99 85 13 1
3555 Not much of a moat, but the fishing is good. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
3556 You wouldn't happen to have any SPF 50 silver polish, would you? 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
3557 Yeah. No. I just use the SPF 50 now. 1.1512 0.04827 86 76 7 3
3558 I'm on watch for Visigoths... you?? 1.1512 0.04827 86 76 7 3
3559 You'd be surprised how well polished steel reflects heat. 1.1512 0.03885 86 73 13 0
3560 Do you mind watching my castle for a second while I get this damn sand out of my armor? 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
3561 My daughter takes show and tell for her history lesson very seriously 1.1512 0.03885 86 73 13 0
3562 It has a remote, not a moat, to change the water channel. 1.1509 0.03975 106 92 12 2
3563 Got any sun block? 1.1509 0.04195 106 93 10 3
3564 You should try our medieval sun screen. 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
3565 It's an oath of fealty thing. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
3566 But I’ll rust if I go in. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
3567 Oh so you're from Gen-Z, huh? 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
3568 Wana play Capture the Flag? 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
3569 I already told his mom, but if Andy comes stomping over again, it's war. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
3570 I’m here for the paternity leave. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
3571 Did you just fart in my general direction? 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
3572 I'm teaching my kids the value of total immersion. 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
3573 D.C. v Heller sez otherwise. 1.1505 0.03728 93 79 14 0
3574 If Andrew leaves he’s all yours 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
3575 I wasn't slow motion running, it's the armor. 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
3576 It's even better than SPF 100. 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
3577 Should we do Good Cop, Bad Cop? 1.1505 0.04573 93 82 8 3
3578 I'm protecting you from yourself. 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
3579 Keep an eye out for any seahorses." 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
3580 We actually prefer them to eat just before they go in the water Frank Buckley Andover MA 1.1500 0.04352 100 88 9 3
3581 Can you look out for a moment. I have to go... you know... 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
3582 Primarily, I watch over Wales and joust some in my spare time. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
3583 BE IT EVER SO HUMBLE, THERE'S NO PLACR LIKE CAMELOT. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
3584 I'm sorry, it's not easy being a helicopter parent at the beach! 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
3585 I realize that the armor is a bit uncomfortable but could you take over for me when I'm on bathroom break? 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
3586 The certification is hard, but it’s worth it for such a good cause 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
3587 I'll keep an eye out for struggling swimmers if you'll keep an eye out for tiny sea marauders. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
3588 I should not have put on sun screen before the suit of armor . 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
3589 Those tides are really unpredictable huh 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
3590 My sun protection is much stronger than yours. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
3591 Well since we agree this is a situation where you will not have to save me from drowning, how about dinner on Friday night? 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
3592 You saw what they did to the Mona Lisa. Well, that's not happening on my watch. I see a guy with a cake, he's swiss cheese. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
3593 You'll find the hordes of Visigoth invaders really die down after Labor Day. 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
3594 I'm not going in the water; I'm here to guard my castle. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
3595 You're damn right I'm defensive! 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
3596 I'm going to the restroom. Keep an eye out for King Arthur while I'm gone. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
3597 Dress appropriately or you are fired! 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
3598 My joints have seized up. Would you mind widening my moat? 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
3599 The castle? No, I just wanted the highest SPF I could find. 1.1494 0.03844 87 74 13 0
3600 I am not your regular sand toy 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
3601 The one at the beach is much higher - and I can keep my pointing stick too! 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
3602 Little child, I shall destroy your castle. 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
3603 I don’t have to worry about protection 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
3604 I will defend my castle to the death; and by the way, what are you doing for dinner tonight? 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
3605 It's sort of like I am in the Swiss Guards. Mostly for show. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
3606 When you say the word 'Gig,' I assume you are referring to my new job here and not the lifesaving tool I am holding in my left hand. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
3607 Those seagulls come any closer and they're dead. 1.1494 0.03844 87 74 13 0
3608 Early intelligence reports indicate a sea turtle invasion. 1.1494 0.03844 87 74 13 0
3609 Caesar said that I should really invest in some seaside property. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
3610 This is our portion of land, we must defend it. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
3611 I think I've got this if you want to change into moat casual. 1.1489 0.03692 94 80 14 0
3612 Have you never seen a shark's teeth? 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
3613 Life Guard? I thought they said Knight Guard 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
3614 Not sure how I protect the castle from the ocean. But the chair feels nice. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
3615 Rising sea level stops here. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
3616 It isn’t easy to swim in. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
3617 You handle the damsels distressed about drowning; I'll deal with any dragons. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
3618 You know, if you're not careful the sun is really going to age you prematurely. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
3619 OK. I admit it. Rust is an issue. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
3620 So I said to him, “sink or swim” and that’s how I ended up with this sweet suit. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
3621 Let's see those kids stomp this! 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
3622 I promise. My horse is much bigger 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
3623 So... you risk your life to protect people? Noble, I guess. I protect structures and get qualified immunity, armor and a weapon. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
3624 The moat can be breached. Your turn to fill it. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
3625 OK, but if high tide doesn't work I'm going in. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
3626 Whoever said Rome wasn't built in a day David Dzurec, Scranton, PA 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
3627 I shall protect the castle upon my seahorse...as soon as the tide comes in. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
3628 Okay, okay, maybe this armor is overkill. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
3629 No it won't, I'm guarding it! 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
3630 Yes, all new knights start by guarding a training castle, it’s just that the post-lockdown budget hasn’t quite recovered. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
3631 The enemy returns once they finish their snack. 1.1485 0.04075 101 88 11 2
3632 In hindsight I think downsizing was the right idea. 1.1485 0.03556 101 86 15 0
3633 I'm a dragon killer and I kill on the dancefloor, too. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
3634 My Kingdom for a squirt of oil! 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
3635 I am Canute! 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
3636 We use freshwater in our moats… saltwater wreaks havoc on my swimsuit. 1.1481 0.05003 81 72 6 3
3637 Your name is Sandy? Quite the coincidence. That's my aunt's neighbour's dog's name! 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
3638 I am a lifeguard for fish. With the weight of my armor, I pull them back down. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
3639 You act like this is just a day at the beach! 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
3640 Limited to breast stroke, a tad warm, but the SPF is unbeatable. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
3641 Thou knowest tis quiet now, but just ye wait for tourist season. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
3642 I am King fisherman 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
3643 No.I use the spear for my sliced hot dogs.For everything else I use a spork. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
3644 Me? I'm a good guy with a spear. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
3645 Things have been scaled back since the Age of Enlightenment. 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
3646 I call dibs 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
3647 Under the dire circumstances, I find your demeanor beguiling 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
3648 Me thinks, this town ain't big enough for the two of us, m'lady. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
3649 Hey, what's wrong with a little fantasy? 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
3650 Yes, I have been accused of going to extremes. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
3651 I specialize in rescuing Kings and Queens. 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
3652 It's part of my PhD in urban development 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
3653 Too far… you’ve taken Causal Friday too far. 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
3654 CPR? I've gotten a bit rusty. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
3655 Listen, my father built this empire from the ground up, quit judging. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
3656 So do you find this job as unmoativating as I do? 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
3657 Yeah, it's only a two-year degree, and the pay bump is incredible. 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
3658 I've really outdone myself with this latest castle build... 1.1474 0.03656 95 81 14 0
3659 Have you seen the princess? 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
3660 You do know? I can’t Swim! 1.1474 0.04725 95 85 6 4
3661 In case of shark attack - or dragons. 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
3662 I’m skeptical it’ll work without alligators but I don’t want to step on any toes. 1.1474 0.03656 95 81 14 0
3663 Do you think they'll negotiate on oil prices? 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
3664 Not going to lie, I just saw the word “guard” in the job posting before I got distracted by a fair maiden. 1.1471 0.03790 102 88 13 1
3665 So, what castle are you from? 1.1471 0.03790 102 88 13 1
3666 So, why do you guard this all day? 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
3667 SPF? Is that Sir Patrick Ficklerhorne? 1.1468 0.04289 109 97 8 4
3668 Strategically, you have to admit I'm in the best position for potential attacks. 1.1467 0.05265 75 67 5 3
3669 I'm compensating for the tan line my mask left last summer. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
3670 Could you watch for invaders while I take a bathroom break? 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
3671 This sun is strong today. I might need to slip on some SPF steel. 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
3672 It does get pretty hot in this.. 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
3673 Armor and a spear? You've got to stop coming to work stoned. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
3674 Tell you what... I got the castle if you watch the moat. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
3675 I kept telling them all those growth hormones wouldn't end well. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
3676 You’re lost without the pit… 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
3677 : OK, so I live in my own world! 1.1467 0.05265 75 67 5 3
3678 I regret not asking HR why everything was in fine print. 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
3679 I'm interning with the Capitol Police, what is your story? 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
3680 Zinced oxhide beats zinc oxide. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
3681 People think there isn't much of a demand for it, but I seldom get much of a break between gigs. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
3682 Yep - still working from Rome 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
3683 I can't wait for the invention of the beach umbrella. 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
3684 Yeah, I was on my way to my Medieval Times gig when my buddy asked me to cover for him. He said is was “literally” a life or death situation. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
3685 Just so you know, its not casual Friday yet. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
3686 I may look old, but not as misogynistic as the so called men's right activists 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
3687 The guidebook mentioned sea dragons, I'm not taking any chances 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
3688 Actually it’s more of a canal than a moat. 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
3689 My lot in life May have diminished, but people still call me “Sir!” 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
3690 I forgot my sunscreen. 1.1461 0.03765 89 76 13 0
3691 ¿W40? 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
3692 I am fully covered no need for sunscreen 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
3693 Say the British monarchy is an outdated institution one more time. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
3694 Hey, what are you doing here? I thought I was scheduled for the Knight Shif 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
3695 With a moat this big, it doesn't matter if the castle is built on sand. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
3696 We're shooting the pilot for Bayeux Watch 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
3697 Brobdingnagians rule! 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
3698 After everything with the pandemic I just wanted to downshift, you know? 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
3699 Yea,it's a little warm but it's better than look for the holy grail 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
3700 Don’t be fooled by my lifetime of slaughter. I’m really a kid at heart. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
3701 Will you watch the castle while I go grab a mead? 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
3702 Your Highness, the fossil fuel industry is fast approaching! 1.1461 0.03765 89 76 13 0
3703 It's culturally significant for me. 1.1458 0.03621 96 82 14 0
3704 I traded the night watch for Baywatch. 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
3705 In retrospect,the new uniform made the chafing worse 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
3706 As the most fills, stocks will drown? 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
3707 I’m an intern…!! 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
3708 I'm building a sand Trojan Horse. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
3709 If I see someone drowning, I'm going to stab them to death with this lance. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
3710 yeah super crazy, but I just took a shit, and it came out like that 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
3711 I'm a trooper in the Life Guards - and what do you do? 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
3712 I hit a growth spurt. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
3713 My new sunscreen is SPF 1,000,000, and it protects me from swords too. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
3714 Have to get my suit re-oiled and feeling a bit peckish. You want anything while I'm up? 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
3715 Hey, you do you 1.1447 0.05199 76 68 5 3
3716 I know about high tides. But even a castle made of sand is still a castle. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
3717 I’m going in - caver for me ! 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
3718 The Normans may come again. Keep alert. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
3719 So, what do you do for fun? 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
3720 My lady, as I promised to protect your honour with my life you should have mentioned your Florida spring break plans. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
3721 I defend this castle. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
3722 The baywatch costume department intern got new interns 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
3723 Spirit has mad discounts this time of year. 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
3724 All they said was to watch out for Trojan seahorses. 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
3725 And then, the goddamn wizard said, "Guard the Castle Theo!" 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
3726 Sorry. That castle is MY home, Sweetheart! 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
3727 If I take a break for lunch, can you hold the fort here? 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
3728 My boyfriend says I smell like braised tuna when I get home. And our pet aardvark won't have anything to do with me until I shower. Hey, since that awful child is gone to the bathroom, which one of us is going to do smashies on her castle? Burrrrrp! 1.1446 0.04889 83 74 6 3
3729 I’ll guard the shore, you guard the water. 1.1446 0.04889 83 74 6 3
3730 Do you smoke weed? 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
3731 Absolutely I'm certified. Chivalry, Piety, and Rectitude. 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
3732 The king gave me the axe. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
3733 my kids asked me to guard their sandcastle 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
3734 My steed is at the shop. 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
3735 You save the next one, I’ll be over here rusting. 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
3736 Next, I’m making a sand horse. 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
3737 King Canute sent me to protect it. 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
3738 So when the tide comes in the seahorses will too? 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
3739 My shift ends as soon as the moat is breached. What time do you get off? 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
3740 You won't believe how much they're charging for flood insurance nowadays. 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
3741 Everyone swimming in the moat is safe 1.1443 0.03875 97 84 12 1
3742 They said if I took this job, my knights would be free. 1.1443 0.04394 97 86 8 3
3743 The tide cometh and the mote be shallow. Also, is it always this hot out here? 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
3744 I get a break when the moat fills up. 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
3745 Wanna see my spear? 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
3746 Do you know a good architect? 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
3747 May I borrow your flotation device as the tide seems to be closing in on my moat? 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
3748 I'm all set for the great white sharks, but it sure rusts up fast in the water. 1.1429 0.04833 84 75 6 3
3749 I alternate between this and the day shift 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
3750 Well, it's not really my home ... but I get to defend it until the end of tide. 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
3751 if it's all right by you, I'd rather rescue a damsel in distress! 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
3752 The King told me to guard it with my life so if any sumbitch even looks at it sideways I'm not only going to impale them, I'm gonna kill his wife, all his friends, and burn his damn house down." 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
3753 I want to be ready for anything. 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
3754 What do you think Marmaduke is doing? 1.1429 0.05135 77 69 5 3
3755 I was more suitably attired for Old Jersey, it seems. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
3756 I love this beach even though I can't swim. 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
3757 I'm just feeling a bit rusty today on the tides of war 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
3758 I will guard the castle. You make sure the moat is working. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
3759 Through this scale model we'll see how Epstein didnt kill himself 1.1429 0.05135 77 69 5 3
3760 I get it. My job is to push the little buggers into the water and your job is to pull them out....but then why do I have to wear this 1000000 SPF Sunscreen outfit? 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
3761 Someone needs to do it. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
3762 Show us a dance of Gelderland! 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
3763 If they fall in the moat, it’s all you. 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
3764 Thank you for helping me protect the monarchy 1.1429 0.03689 91 78 13 0
3765 I'm in training 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
3766 Of course I'm on duty! When the moat fills with water! 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
3767 These days,my only enemy is rust! 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
3768 Well, they told me I'd be the Guard of my own castle, but THIS isn't what I had in mind. 1.1429 0.04103 98 86 10 2
3769 Nah, it’s just temporary. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
3770 I hope you don't have a big mortgage, because your castle will soon be underwater. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
3771 Don't act so surprised, I am paid more than you because I also cover the knight's shift 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
3772 I went from 225 denarii a year to $23 an hour. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
3773 We'll see who gets sunburned first. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
3774 They texted me for reinforcements. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
3775 If you take care of a pirate attack, I'll cover for a land invasion. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
3776 You're jumping in next time, I'm starting to rust 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
3777 When ye bright scoundrel sets, thee castle of Darnieus may meet its demise. Aye, we are powerless against the soggy wobbler! 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
3778 Oh dear, you know i am waiting for the high tide... 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
3779 I’m baking in this. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
3780 It’s the overqualification stupid! 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
3781 It’s therapy for my inferiority complex” 1.1429 0.03689 91 78 13 0
3782 Remember, if someone attacks: you blow the whistle and I’ll stand guard. 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
3783 And then she said “What is this? A castle for ants!!??” and I realized I my building math was a tad off. 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
3784 When the tide fills the moat I can take a break. 1.1414 0.04064 99 87 10 2
3785 I will bet you my lance that the ants won't make it across the stream. 1.1414 0.04310 99 88 8 3
3786 Impressive, Lance. But I'm still not ready to be your Guenevere. 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
3787 Sometimes the moat is not able by itself to keep out the enemies. That's why. 1.1414 0.04064 99 87 10 2
3788 Chivalry won't die if I can help it. 1.1414 0.03801 99 86 12 1
3789 I figured a temp job would get my foot in the door. 1.1414 0.03520 99 85 14 0
3790 I suppose you think your metallic sunscreen will keep you safe from everything. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
3791 And yours looks like a wheelchair, so checkmate! 1.1413 0.04528 92 82 7 3
3792 Hey, what happened to my rocking horse? 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
3793 At my last job everyone dressed up for Halloween. 1.1413 0.03652 92 79 13 0
3794 I don't think you know what I'm capable of, before some kinda interview. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
3795 KNT N SHNG ARMR HERE 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
3796 Don't come too close--I'm trapped in a children's book. 1.1412 0.04779 85 76 6 3
3797 You there, on the watchtower, are you a part of my liege's 'life guard'" 1.1412 0.04779 85 76 6 3
3798 I have some lubricant oil SP15 if you want to borrow some 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
3799 Funny how we're both guards but while you watch over the hordes I demolish them 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
3800 It's called LARPing. Look it up. 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
3801 So, then I told my boss that I was NOT snoring and – in defense of my honor, naturally – I challenged her to a joust.” 1.1412 0.04779 85 76 6 3
3802 Yes it’s hot but I get to leave at high tide. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
3803 Canst I not repel the tide with my vorpal blade? 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
3804 We don’t get as much fanfare as our brethren in the Night’s Watch, but I gotta tell ya, this posting can be just as perilous 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
3805 Ha! His Majesty told me I couldn’t be king of the castle but he didn’t specify which! 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
3806 Life guard"? What a ridiculous notion. 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
3807 You probably save a lot on sunscreen 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
3808 I’m off at Nones. What about thou? 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
3809 Google me! 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
3810 This castle looked bigger online. Me think it best to apply to Medieval Times anon. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
3811 I make sandcastles “great again”…before the sea takes them away 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
3812 Yess, it’s a big moat out there. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
3813 I take my air seriously. 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
3814 Nice imagination! In a few moments we’ll both disappear. 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
3815 What are you guarding for? 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
3816 You’d think we’d both make more than minimum wage 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
3817 'Knight takes all the rooks.' 1.1408 0.05418 71 64 4 3
3818 I swore to protect the Surf-dom, and protect it I shall 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
3819 I’m a guard, but not a lifeguard. The owner of the castle hired me to watch over it. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
3820 If they attack, blow your whistle and start waving your hands like a maniac. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
3821 I’ll be your knight in shining armor, coming to your em-ocean-al rescue. Will you marry me, Darcie? 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
3822 I’m fair maiden skinned. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
3823 My bathing suit rusted, and this was the only thing in my closet that was clean. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
3824 I think I'm gonna need a bigger moat. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
3825 So,where did you get your suit? 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
3826 Oh, I'm the guard for Lilliput 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
3827 It's an okay part time gig. And I save a fortune on sunscreen. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
3828 Turns out it wasn’t a misspelling. The ad read “lifeguard needed: knight shift” 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
3829 I shall provide rust-free homage as thee goeth forth. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
3830 Do I look like a dental appliance? I meant “knight guard” with a “k” and an “n.” 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
3831 Dost thou whistle come in silver? 1.1400 0.03487 100 86 14 0
3832 They sure don't make suits like they use to! 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
3833 You gotta start somewhere. 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
3834 I'm normally the night guardian. Little Billy is off today. 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
3835 My lady, you need more effective sunscreen, like mine! More clothes, too! 1.1398 0.04213 93 82 9 2
3836 You first! 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
3837 Yeah, you know our supervisor, always insisting that one of us has to also guard the keep. 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
3838 What, it's not my fault there's a lifeguard shortage. 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
3839 Can we go spearfishing on our lunch break? 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
3840 The King's only six years old, but I took an oath. 1.1395 0.04726 86 77 6 3
3841 We’ll definitely need your services every 12 1/2 hours. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
3842 They said I should be prepared to breach the perimeter! 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
3843 With Scherzer and deGrom on the shelf, betting against the Mets seemed safe at the time. 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
3844 I'm only getting in the water when Excalibur appears. 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
3845 I’m hotter’n a baked potato in here. 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
3846 I got hooked as a kid, and I just can't let go. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
3847 When I build a castle, I go all the way. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
3848 This job will be the death of me! 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
3849 Say what you want, it saves on sunscreen! 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
3850 In America, protecting property is priority #1. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
3851 Seriously? Your name is Gladys? Oh my. This is destiny. 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
3852 60 SPF wasn't cutting it anymore 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
3853 Sorry but this is Castle Watch not Baywatch 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
3854 It’s my first day on the job, and I’m starting to think I’ve been had. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
3855 I don't need you. I'm downsizing. 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
3856 It's SPF WD-40. 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
3857 It is very hot wearing this but at least I won't get sun burned. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
3858 Cassandra, we have been through this before, you are not going to save Troy with your prediction the Greeks will be arriving. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
3859 Yes that is my sandcastle - and I'm here to guard it from the high-tide." 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
3860 King Canute sent me here to defend the castle. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
3861 I've got the towers and drawbridge covered, but the most is your department. 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
3862 The moat is functional when the tide comes in - that's when I'm on duty 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
3863 Hey! This is my castle! 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
3864 Yeah, there's the buoyancy issue, but I'm loving 5000 SPF. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
3865 What does their hair smell like? 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
3866 My sunblock is more period correct than your's! 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
3867 When in Rome, dress like a roman 1.1386 0.03988 101 89 10 2
3868 Excuse me, is this the ‘Castle of Sand?’ I was assigned to protect it but it looks like the moat is working fine. 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
3869 As the new conqueror of 'Castle Drive', I command you to dress more medieval. 1.1386 0.03988 101 89 10 2
3870 My daughters knighted me into Her Majesty's Order of the TideWatch 1.1386 0.03988 101 89 10 2
3871 It's the only night job I was suited for! 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
3872 I'll guard the castle, you swim out if someone needs help. 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
3873 How is your day going? 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
3874 The weather report said there is a high probability of Kraken today. 1.1383 0.04170 94 83 9 2
3875 I still weigh eighty pounds. 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
3876 I'm the knight in shining armor. 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
3877 A bit overdone on the siege tower, don't you think? 1.1383 0.03580 94 81 13 0
3878 Sure I MIGHT sink, but at least the sharks won’t get me. . 1.1383 0.04436 94 84 7 3
3879 Jill, we're gonna save our kingdom if it's the last thing that we do. 1.1382 0.03331 123 107 15 1
3880 I'm called a castle guard! 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
3881 Lemuel Gulliver Jr. is quite a kid! 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
3882 You'd be surprised about how many sand crabs I have to pull out of the moat 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
3883 Yeah, and the commute is so short. 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
3884 Though it be hopeless, I will defend it against high tide. 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
3885 I get off around high tide. How about you? 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
3886 Until they figure out a way to get water in the moat, I handle castle security. 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
3887 My shift ends around high tide, if you’re interested ina little jousting later, M’lady. 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
3888 On point, but I would have chosen Poseidon 🔱 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
3889 I really think going with the whole theme will win me the sand castle contest this year. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
3890 Why don’t your chariots move? 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
3891 The ant queen actually interviewed me personally for this position—I’m kind of a big deal. Hit me up if you want any tips on ponytail maintenance. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
3892 I'm here to rescue a damselfish in distress. 1.1375 0.04950 80 72 5 3
3893 The wizard was supposed to turn back the tide, but guess whose head gets chopped if he didn't do it. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
3894 You watch the ocean and I’ll watch the moat. 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
3895 Yes, I know castles made of sand fall into the sea eventually, but not on my watch! 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
3896 Each to their own world from any century! 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
3897 All it takes is one good storm 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
3898 I take the defense of my castle seriously. And for the record,I'm off duty 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
3899 ...and it's also SPF 400. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
3900 I was banished for teaching the Prince the 'Castle' move. 1.1375 0.04950 80 72 5 3
3901 What is SPF? 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
3902 the tides of war are rising 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
3903 There”s a White Claw buried in there……try to get it. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
3904 I was told there was a kingdom in need of guarding 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
3905 Look, I understand you feel like you're keeping everything afloat, but I'm doing manly things around the house! 1.1373 0.03951 102 90 10 2
3906 Are you in the insurance commercial as well? 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
3907 I have a shark phobia. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
3908 I really do prefer the knight shift of the guard. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
3909 I call it "Monument to the invincibility of men." 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
3910 The best defense is a good offense. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
3911 Take my hand and this can all be yours my lady. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
3912 I've guarded this castle since I was IIV. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
3913 My kingdom for an oil can. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
3914 I will be here only a few more days. Then, the rising ocean will take care of it. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
3915 I will defend the castle onboard my chariot. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
3916 You've got the ocean. I've got the castle. 1.1368 0.04391 95 85 7 3
3917 I am going to lunch. Guard the castle with your life! 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
3918 You guard uninteresting swimmers. I guard interesting castles. 1.1368 0.03848 95 83 11 1
3919 Ozymandius I am not. Just really a kid at heart. 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
3920 Who needs buoyancy when you have symbolic weight? 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
3921 What is this, a Krak des Chevaliers for ants? How can us Crusaders be expected to defend the Holy Land from the Saracens if we can't even fit inside! 1.1364 0.03679 88 76 12 0
3922 I think I'm burning. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
3923 do you come here often? 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
3924 I really don't want to rust, so how about you take anything further out than the castle? 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
3925 I thought I was signing up for night school. 1.1364 0.03679 88 76 12 0
3926 I take the "guard" part very seriously. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
3927 Shrinkflation. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
3928 My armor usually scares off intruders.. The spear provides credibility. 1.1364 0.03679 88 76 12 0
3929 I had nothing to do with it. 1.1364 0.04623 88 79 6 3
3930 My high chair, better!!! 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
3931 Watch your flanks, sometimes the sunburn sneaks up on you 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
3932 Don’t worry, you’ll move up ranks soon enough. I’ve been here for years. 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
3933 ‘So yano, ummm , Castles made of uh sand, uh. fall into the sea eventually’ 1.1359 0.03663 103 90 12 1
3934 Were you planning on conquering that? 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
3935 I'm the King of the castle and you're dirty rascal! 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
3936 And what SPF do you use? 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
3937 I am the lifeguard for the castle, you for the people in the water. I don't want my armor to get rusty, because I want to look good for the damsels in distress that I will give CPR to once you drag them to the beach. 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
3938 I don't need any SPF ..just WD 40 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
3939 Not what I thought I signed up for. 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
3940 You take the guys, I’m waiting for a damsel in distress. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
3941 On the contrary, I think the moat will work. 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
3942 Why aren't you just down by your castle? 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
3943 Chivalry isn't dead, but it might need to be rescued.” 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
3944 How long are you going to maintain this ridiculous medieval farce? 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
3945 Might your SPF double as a polisher? 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
3946 Once the moat fills up,I can swim back home. 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
3947 As an aspiring thespian, I’ve decided my edge is never to break character. 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
3948 I’m here to protect the kingfish. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
3949 I'm a method actor. Next week I audition for the lead in Don Quixote. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
3950 Oh... and by the way, as far as that "LifeSaver Divorce Settlement" is concerned, thanks for leaving me with one suit and the "little castle" on the beachfront! 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
3951 You young millennium guards just don't put in the same effort anymore! 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
3952 I misunderstood the e-mail and wore the wrong suit to work today. 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
3953 I get off from work at high tide. 1.1354 0.03810 96 84 11 1
3954 You have to play Risk at the next level... 1.1354 0.03511 96 83 13 0
3955 This castle sucks. 1.1354 0.04088 96 85 9 2
3956 The job posting said a life guard… 1.1354 0.03810 96 84 11 1
3957 Are you a Jimi Hendrix fan, too? 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
3958 Really Meg, just run around it next time. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
3959 You handle any swimming issues, I'll take on any dragons who attack the castle 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
3960 I was here first! 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
3961 So, one if by land…? 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
3962 Yes it is damn hot but it is all part of being a moatguard. 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
3963 Obviously, only if they are drowning in the moat. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
3964 I think I got crabs from this one. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
3965 I was demoted after sleeping through the dragon attack 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
3966 You should tell whoever sent you there's no 'k' in night watch. 1.1351 0.05207 74 67 4 3
3967 Im beginning to rust. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
3968 You watch the water for rip tides. I’ll watch the sky for dragons. 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
3969 Beats sunblock. 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
3970 Sorry, but I must protect the castle. Besides, I would probably sink. 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
3971 I'm fighting climate change. 1.1348 0.04573 89 80 6 3
3972 Yes indeed, and it has air conditioning in every turret. 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
3973 Hey, would you guard the moat? 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
3974 I don't rescue damsels anymore--but I still like castles. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
3975 Our night shift training may need some restructuring 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
3976 I signed up for the knight shift life guarding the castle 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
3977 Wait, how much are YOU getting paid? 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
3978 It seems we share a common enemy, m’lady. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3979 My stone castle hath been swallowed by Poseidon. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3980 Under my watch, the moat has not been breached since high tide. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
3981 They say everything is better at the beach but I don’t know if that is really true 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
3982 Game of Thrones? Who cares! I just want you to save me. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3983 Everybody has a plan until they get stabbed with a lance. 1.1341 0.04835 82 74 5 3
3984 Fair maiden, I swore a vow to protect my liege and freehold and...well....here I am. 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
3985 I prefer the armor guarding apparel to the newer bikini style. I guess different moats for different folks!! 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3986 Knight. Lifeguard. It’s all the same thing. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3987 Clearly an imposter had crashed the Hasselhoff Fan Club Meeting. “Have you even seen Knight Rider?!” 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
3988 If this thing gets destroyed, we can blame it on the tide. 1.1340 0.03773 97 85 11 1
3989 No thanks. I'm going to try it without sunscreen today. 1.1340 0.03477 97 84 13 0
3990 I really, REALLY want to be a knight but this is the only castle I could find for my practicum. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
3991 And not so yonda lies the castle of my fadda. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
3992 I'll take everything this side of the castle. 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
3993 FEMA said OK, if I put it on pilings. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
3994 I'm really into the daddy-daughter thing 1.1333 0.05141 75 68 4 3
3995 I am Lancclot du Lac, lord of Joyous Lifegarde 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
3996 My bad, I forgot that Body Armor also refers to a type of swimsuit. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
3997 Once a night is enough for me! 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
3998 Yeah well you try diving into that moat in full armor! 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
3999 You will have to go in if there needs to be rescue. I'm just hear protecting the castle and the salt water rusts me out. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
4000 Alpha Sigma Phi. Why? 1.1333 0.04777 75 67 6 2
4001 You really take your job literally. 1.1333 0.04777 75 67 6 2
4002 I can make you Mother of the dragons 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
4003 My doctor says 'be yourself.'" "What, I picked the wrong one ? 1.1333 0.04777 75 67 6 2
4004 I’m gonna win! 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
4005 I am Sir Hasselhoff. What is thy name? 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
4006 You protect the moat, and I’ve got the castle. 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
4007 I’d rather guard it than clean it 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
4008 I’m training for the big league 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
4009 Hey, how you doing! 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
4010 Nobody can complain about my walls if they’re made of water 1.1333 0.03844 105 93 10 2
4011 I am a lifeguard. You? A sand castle guard, I presume. 1.1327 0.03444 98 85 13 0
4012 Summer's fine. But I don't think I can do another winter. 1.1327 0.04009 98 87 9 2
4013 And your armor is made of SPF? 1.1327 0.03737 98 86 11 1
4014 don’t trust what they say, tanning won’t make you age faster 1.1327 0.03737 98 86 11 1
4015 No, and fuck you for asking. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
4016 Hot,yes,but sharks hate it 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
4017 thhthjmrk,k 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
4018 Who did you know to get this summer Life Guard job 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4019 Just making the beaches safer. I’ve already saved 5 people from shark attacks 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4020 Will you watch my castle while i go get some food? 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4021 I was told the dress code is "beach-combat." 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
4022 I'm allergic to sand flies. 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
4023 I was a lifeguard at the moat, so I do come with experience. 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
4024 Can you do anything with tides? 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
4025 If that most fills up I’m outta here! 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
4026 Can you cover drownings? I’m better at dragons. 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
4027 Would you believe it sold for six pounds of salt two years ago? 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
4028 I mean, I just want a face tan… 1.1325 0.04779 83 75 5 3
4029 Just doing my part to fend off climate change. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
4030 I just don’t feel like you’re taking this job seriously… 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
4031 My horse is in the shop. One of the wheels has termites. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
4032 Explain to me again why I can't yell 'hark'? 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
4033 Yes, I guess regular sunscreen may work as well " 1.1324 0.05505 68 62 3 3
4034 The dog ate the sun tan lotion. 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
4035 I go out when the tide comes in. 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
4036 Our British Empire may be smaller but make no mistake, tradition still rules the day. 1.1319 0.04196 91 81 8 2
4037 Kids don't usually leave the castle. 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
4038 Sure, a good moat will keep most intruders out, but you’ll need another line of defense when the attacker happens to be a very determined swimmer … 1.1319 0.04477 91 82 6 3
4039 Is yours chainmail? 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
4040 Yes, the moat is a good defense, but I'm still cautious of the gates being flooded. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
4041 I decided to go SPF 1000. 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
4042 Yes it is hot, but I don’t need sun screen. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
4043 I’m guarding my Castle! What are YOU doing here? 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
4044 your place 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
4045 The co-op committee wants to meet us, preferably before high-tide 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
4046 I serve King Crab of the house of Sand 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
4047 Hey dude, what's your job nature at here? 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
4048 This castle hath a pleasant seat; the air Nimbly and sweetly recommends itself Unto our gentle senses. William Shakespeare Macbeth 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
4049 Be it ever so humble! 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
4050 You're feeling great now but if those kids on the other beach have swords, who'll be laughing then. 1.1316 0.05076 76 69 4 3
4051 Maybe you should apply a little sunscreen to your nose. 1.1313 0.03970 99 88 9 2
4052 I’m still concerned we don’t have any support from airforce 1.1313 0.03702 99 87 11 1
4053 It pays to downsize! Easier to rule! 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
4054 Please continue lifeguarding. I’m just here to spear a rather small fish. 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
4055 Sure, my kingdom isn't much compared to other countries. But I didn't argue about all that foreign aid the United States gave me. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
4056 There's something different about this place, but I just can't put my finger on it. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
4057 If the kid drowns, that is on you. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
4058 If I seek a damsel in distress, do you think I wouldst sink? 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
4059 When you look at life from a different perspective 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
4060 This castle offered better benefits than my last one. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
4061 Sure your castle is well guarded, but how is your flood insurance? 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
4062 Yes it's hot, but the good news is it's resistant to salt water. 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
4063 I like to be ready for the thugs. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
4064 If I fall in the ocean with my armour on, you’ll save me right? 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
4065 With the appropriate apparel you shall be my lady fair in my next jousting. 1.1304 0.03530 92 80 12 0
4066 . . . maybe it is a big ocean, but do you know how treacherous the wet sand of that moat can be?” 1.1304 0.03530 92 80 12 0
4067 My code has five virtues: courage, piety, chastity, generosity, and SPF 50. 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
4068 I acknowledge - you respond. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
4069 This was the only way I could keep myself relevant in my type of work. 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
4070 You want to go to a movie or a jousting tournament tonight? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
4071 You missed the queen’s jubilee guarding a sand castle? 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
4072 Hark, fair maiden! Doth thou like the model of my castle in Spain that shall be yours if thy dainty hand does not belong to another? 1.1300 0.03933 100 89 9 2
4073 Can't help but feel like I'm prepared for the wrong battle 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
4074 You guard your lives, I’ll guard mine 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
4075 Yeah, but I save a bundle on sun screen. 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
4076 What time does the tide come in? 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
4077 Heard there may be a Trojan sea horse in there 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
4078 Yeah, but it's SPF300. How's that lotion of yours doing? 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
4079 You'll perish in the moat. 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
4080 I'm not sure I'd enjoy just seasonal work. 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
4081 The bloomin' hardest part was finding the wee crocodiles to fit in the moat, M'lady. 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
4082 This "is" a very remoat area. 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
4083 And how did you get your wheel chair up there?” 1.1299 0.05012 77 70 4 3
4084 How tall do you think that castle's king actually is? 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
4085 This water ain’t big enough for the two of us 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
4086 I'm showing solidarity with all of the teachers and students at Anytown Elementary who have to wear them. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
4087 Will you marry me? 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
4088 Did you get my Workplace Adjustment request? I just focus so much better on horseback. 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
4089 "Not LAKE Winnepesauki, Cheryl. MOAT Winnepesauki." 1.1299 0.04659 77 69 6 2
4090 It’s hard to swim in armour. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
4091 Earl of Hasselhoff 1.1296 0.03967 108 97 8 3
4092 I deserve combat pay. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
4093 Pray tell my lady, uncouth be thy armor! 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
4094 Job experience? Defending castles and rescuing damsels in distress. 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
4095 It's SPF 1,000. 1.1294 0.04962 85 78 3 4
4096 I don't think we want a lifeguard... 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
4097 Last week they tried a trojan crab. 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
4098 I strive for authenticity. 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
4099 Once the moat is filled, we shall be impervious to attack. 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
4100 There's rumour that they're going to lay off some staffs. I'd be worried if I were you. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
4101 M'lady, lest I sink, rust, or burn inside, I will take care of the sharks. 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
4102 It's not as if they have to cross the Nile in times like these. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
4103 It's heavy and hot but it's also SPF 10,000 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
4104 I CAN swim . . . Just not right now. 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
4105 I am paid $6 an hour when the tide is going out,but much more when it is coming in. 1.1290 0.03495 93 81 12 0
4106 The moat’s my favorite part. 1.1290 0.03495 93 81 12 0
4107 you guard what you need to, I’ll guard what I need to 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
4108 When the tide comes in, I will have a wider moat. 1.1287 0.03632 101 89 11 1
4109 I said, is that a MOTE in your eye? 1.1287 0.03896 101 90 9 2
4110 Someday, I'll do a show with you. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
4111 You think you have problems? I have minimum wage and a strict sinking dress code. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
4112 Could you please guard the castle? The salt air has rusted me. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
4113 I 'm only certified in shark attacks 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
4114 I got really excited when she asked "So are you into roleplay?" But then.. yeah... 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
4115 SPF 100 but really hot! 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
4116 The hordes are dying to get in today. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
4117 I'll be out of your way come High Tide 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
4118 Rutgers changed their lifeguard dress code 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
4119 Did your mommy give you a time-out too?" 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
4120 My Lady - you will never be a proper castle guard dressed like that! 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
4121 All Praetorian Guards have to do a life-guard stint. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
4122 You guard the moat. I'll guard the castle. 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
4123 Hey! My job is to GUARD castles no matter how small! 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
4124 Gotta keep an eye on it. Sells for 1M in the virtual world! 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
4125 My therapist insisted that I go a bit more, um, low stakes. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
4126 It will be gone by nightfall 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
4127 Look another Sandy Appian Way. 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
4128 HA, NO, NOT AT ALL. I JUST DID THIS TO SEE WHAT KIND OF CAPTION FOLKS WOULD COME UP WITH" 1.1282 0.04950 78 71 4 3
4129 I had to take my sleeves off to make that. 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
4130 Hi,my name is Sisyphus. What's,yours? 1.1282 0.04950 78 71 4 3
4131 I think I misunderstood the job description. I thought it said Middle ages lifeguard not middle-aged lifeguard. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
4132 Everyone step out of the castle!! There is a wave coming. 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
4133 Welcome to the Summer of Lancelot. 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
4134 Aquawoman, I have a sinking feeling I'm not the best Hero for this scene. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
4135 I used to guard Buckingham Palace … until I ticked off the Queen. 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
4136 I oil in fewer places, though. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
4137 I can’t wait until someone resists my forced C.P.R., so I can finally have a just reason to murder. 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
4138 '' Well, put it this way.... I thought drowning over sharks ...'' 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
4139 They strike at high tide. 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
4140 No thanks. Salt water corrodes my armor. 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
4141 C'rtainly is a hot one the present day, m’lady 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
4142 Oh spear me, do I look like that much of a brute? 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
4143 It’s never good to be a Knight in Shining Armor reflecting a shining sun and sea. 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
4144 Did you really have to make a scene again?” -Alison K. Burns, Massachusett 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
4145 Defend. Rescue. It's just another day at the beach. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
4146 You too can participate in the Great Resignation. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
4147 Yesterday I saved 2 beetles and a cricket. 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
4148 I am guarding little Tammy's castle. 1.1277 0.04068 94 84 8 2
4149 If, in the mote, struggling, there is a child on a horse, who rescues? 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4150 Oh shoot! I forgot my whistle! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4151 I’m wearing this armor to protect myself in case I fall out of this tall chair. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
4152 Great idea Julia. Perfect wedding cake for us 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
4153 It's only a temp job. 1.1268 0.04885 71 64 5 2
4154 Let's play "I capture the castle 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
4155 You handle the ocean rescues. I'll cover the moat. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
4156 Stay sharp. Dragons in these waters. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
4157 How about if I get a rescue first, I’’ll spear a salmon and we can have lunch together. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
4158 The catapult is stuck in traffic. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
4159 Oh, it's SPF 10,000 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
4160 I'm expecting an attack at high tide. 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
4161 Okay. We'll see who has the best tan at the ends of the day. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
4162 Because the inflatable dragons will soon be upon us! 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
4163 Who knew OSHA had regulations for moat construction? 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
4164 Bingo 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
4165 Sorry I'm late. I didn't get time to change out of my LARP costume. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
4166 First they take away your spear! 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
4167 I know it's 89 degrees outside, but I'll give you three guesses on how hot it is in my suit of armor." 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
4168 I’ll watch the moat. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
4169 ...but the SPF level is off the charts! 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
4170 I have the knight shift, 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
4171 It’s a new concept, Mid-Evil Times/ Luau restaurant. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
4172 Saving people’s lives isn’t enough. A man needs chivalry. 1.1264 0.03584 87 76 11 0
4173 Jellyfish! 1.1264 0.03584 87 76 11 0
4174 Did you know, the original framers had lots to say about swimming. 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
4175 My previous castle had a layoff, this is just temporary. 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
4176 Hello,I have waited a long time to meet someone to help me to build another sand castle. 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
4177 My knight shift starts after the tide comes in 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
4178 I'm here to prevent a breach at the beach. And, bonus: I don't need sunscreen. 1.1264 0.03584 87 76 11 0
4179 You've changed, Gretchen, and not in a guard way. 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
4180 I'm here to defend the castle from all enemies, foreign and domestic. 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
4181 Cnut. Who's yours? 1.1263 0.04027 95 85 8 2
4182 Veni, vidi...ah... like Rick Perry I couldn't remember that third word, so I sat. And here I sit. 1.1263 0.03739 95 84 10 1
4183 All I need is binoculars now! 1.1263 0.03426 95 83 12 0
4184 Watching this castle fall and get rebuilt every few minutes for the past 2,000 years has been entertaining. 1.1263 0.04027 95 85 8 2
4185 I love cosplay, but I've never seen Baywatch 1.1263 0.03739 95 84 10 1
4186 Yes, it’s hot but don’t you grow weary of constantly reapplying sunscreen 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
4187 Baywatch? 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
4188 While you may scan the oceans, my lady, as an ambassador for a condom manufacturer, my charge is protecting the gene pool. 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
4189 I got the promotion. But it's lonely at the top!" 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
4190 They don’t cover this part in training. 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
4191 With politics the way they are, you can never be too cautious. 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
4192 Whistle if you see any sea dragons. 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
4193 You can take the moat rescues.. 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
4194 Looks like we’re in for a windy one. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
4195 You excite me! 1.1250 0.05210 72 66 3 3
4196 Yeah, the corrosion is a problem but I save tons on sun screen. Plus, I'm only here until high tide. 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
4197 Yeah, some knights are more into spearfishing than riding horses. 1.1250 0.04831 80 73 4 3
4198 My liege instituted a 'performance improvement plan.' 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
4199 Canute couldn't stop the tide...don't think I'll have more luck with a spear. 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
4200 The tip of my spear is a shark's tooth. That's why. 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
4201 You think this is cool? You should see my outfit and apartment in Manhattan! 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
4202 Can’t do lunch; the alligator guy is coming between Noon and five. 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
4203 Restroom break. Guard the castle with your life. 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
4204 It's a demotion, but it beats desk duty! 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
4205 I thought I'd applied for lifeguard, but they assigned me to guard sand castles. I didn't even know that was a job! I could fry an egg on the uniform. 1.1250 0.04492 80 72 6 2
4206 I think it would be better if you do the rescuing. I’ll take the credit of course. 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
4207 It’s surely the biggest moat I’ve ever seen. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
4208 This is not what I had in mind when I told you we need to downsize” 1.1250 0.04219 88 79 7 2
4209 The salt in the sea air is rusting my suit! 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
4210 I wear my sunglasses at Knight. 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
4211 If you fall in I’ll save you. 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
4212 You fight the tide, I'll do the rest! 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
4213 I'm on the lookout for little children out to commit wanton destruction. 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
4214 O Deus Meus,these waves just keep on comin 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
4215 If you only knew how good you have it… 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
4216 And you’re the dirty rascal. 🎵 1.1250 0.03393 96 84 12 0
4217 Their dragons are small too, right? 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
4218 No I can't save this child from drowning. My armor could rust 1.1250 0.03546 88 77 11 0
4219 Sand crabs in the moat are the last line of defense. 1.1238 0.03754 105 94 9 2
4220 While I pledged a vow to defend this kingdom this suit feels like I’m in an oven. 1.1237 0.03666 97 86 10 1
4221 A: Sir, is the spear to fight the rising tide that is coming? Jajaja! B: You better pray that the tide doesn't arrive, because in that case the spear will be to pierce your lifebelt, if you ever need it. 1.1237 0.03666 97 86 10 1
4222 My dad is a cop and he says I can dress up like this and if you try to *AH FUCK my balls are boiling in this thing* and if you try to stomp out my castle I can kill you and nobody can do anything about it. 1.1236 0.03508 89 78 11 0
4223 ...as a matter of fact, they didn't mention a dress code. 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
4224 I guess we're both guarding lost causes. 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
4225 I'd rather think I'm a king than a standard lifeguard. 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
4226 I’ll handle the moat. 1.1236 0.03508 89 78 11 0
4227 It's costume day, didn't they tell you 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
4228 SPF? Me thinks it be XXX or L. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
4229 So how do you like being a guard? 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
4230 It's about all I can afford right now. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
4231 Do you think we might get a rootbeer some day? 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
4232 I don’t care what the architect says, I need a larger draw bridge! 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
4233 A mansplainer does NOT simply sit here while you threaten so much as the moat. Prepare to die! 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
4234 You call that a moat? 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
4235 Sure, it’s hotter than an oven in here, but on the up side I don’t have to put that white stuff on my nose. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
4236 It’s all so fragile. Even my knighthood would be gone with a single pail of water! 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
4237 Hark! Fine maiden, do you have any suntan lotion? 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
4238 I’m just here for the crustaceans. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
4239 May I enter the castle? 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
4240 …and what exactly does a ‘life centurion,’ er, I mean a ‘life guard’ guard 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
4241 . . . and I burn easily but the armor has an SPF of 340. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
4242 There is a lot of spare time in the first 500 years of your shift 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
4243 This is just a summer job, what I really want to do is accounting. 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
4244 Greetings, Lady Wendy of Peffercorn! 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
4245 It's all about the value that you attribute to it 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
4246 I think I see a shark. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
4247 I need a bathroom break...don't let anyone eat my sandwich. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
4248 The weather report said the UV index is 8-9, Luckily my armor is rated UV 50 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
4249 King Arthur flour, why? 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
4250 I’m waiting to see what happens before I attack 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
4251 We lose the mote when the tide goes out. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
4252 You gaurd the swimmers, I'll gaurd the swimmers. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
4253 In my day this is was what we called running water 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
4254 Y 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
4255 Be prepared! 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
4256 My shift will be over when the moat is filled. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
4257 How about diner after the tide comes in? 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
4258 Have you ever thought of changing job professions? There is more to life than guarding the beach. Try guarding a whole empire! I bet the benefits are better! 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
4259 the benefits are pretty good too. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
4260 I think the memo said "guard the boat on the beach" 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
4261 I´ve been here since dawn. I now have a sneaking suspicion they ment to send me to a different front. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
4262 They call me The Sand Knight, and yes, I am single. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
4263 Believe me, I’ve tried. I just can’t seem to get away from the daily grind. 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
4264 When the king promised me a castle by a river I had something else in mind! 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
4265 The water was supposed to flow into the most. 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
4266 I don't think women are really capable in these sink or swim battles to protect our land. 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
4267 Excuse me fair damsel. How deep is the water here? 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
4268 Let them drown in the moat! 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
4269 This isn’t my idea of role play. 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
4270 The inflation is brutal 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
4271 I just need to stay long enough for the moat to fill. 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
4272 The real sandcastles are the friends we make along the way. 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
4273 It's heavy, but at least it's shark-proof. 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
4274 You call it a sand castle. I call it home. 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
4275 Beware of Greeks bearing gifts. Under no circumstances are sea horses allowed in the castle. 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
4276 Who are you kidding? You will drown just like King Canute. 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
4277 So how about some mead after our shift? 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
4278 Some kids paid me to dress like this and guard their castle while they swim. 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
4279 I say, is this freshwater or salt? 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
4280 It's a race between rising gas prices and the rising King tide of global warming. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
4281 I am the guardian of this castle! 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
4282 Britannia told me to wait here 1.1216 0.05074 74 68 3 3
4283 Ya know, the moat seems less menacing with you around. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
4284 A Jewish grandmother watches her grandchild play on the beach when a huge wave washes him out to sea. She pleads: "Please G-d, save my only grandson!" A big wave returns him to shore. The grandmother then remakes to the heavens: "He had a hat!" 1.1216 0.04695 74 67 5 2
4285 I’ve only got fifteen minutes more on my shift. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
4286 I don't suppose you could act a bit more distressed, could you? 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
4287 You go to lunch, I got this. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
4288 Protecting the castle from killer waves in that outfit won't be easy. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
4289 'Lifeguarding at a pool is checkers compared to this, my Queen.' 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
4290 Remember, infiltrating sand castles is strictly prohibited on this beach. 1.1212 0.05071 66 60 4 2
4291 ...new royal edict. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
4292 Sunscreen 50 is not enough for you? 1.1212 0.03596 99 88 10 1
4293 Hell yes, it's hot. And it's not like I can go in the water. 1.1212 0.05071 66 60 4 2
4294 Do you want to work with me as a lifeguard? 1.1209 0.04086 91 82 7 2
4295 The jousting competition ran late and I didn’t have time to change. 1.1209 0.04086 91 82 7 2
4296 You do the saving. I find the salt water rusty. 1.1209 0.04086 91 82 7 2
4297 A Sand dollar for your thoughts ,my lady of the dunes. 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
4298 You take the water landing. 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
4299 I got my masters from Juliard,but I did my undergrad at Tintagel. 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
4300 I’m embarrassed to ask you this, but would you rescue my castle if the tide comes in? 1.1209 0.03436 91 80 11 0
4301 They need a Royal Guard. 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
4302 You can handle the water-born invasion, I will keep an eye on the ground invaders. 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
4303 I going on my break, but if you see a wooden sea-horse just tip it over! 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
4304 You see... I haven't been able to stage my revolution yet because my boots aren't strong enough 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
4305 Kamala, please tell Zelenskyy this is no time for his "king of the castle" routine. 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
4306 I'm just keeping an eye on it while my son lays seige to the Dupont sand castle on the other side of the pond. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
4307 Call me Cnut. 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
4308 Well. Not really. I'm more of a centurion. I guard the castle. Knights are always galavanting around on their horses. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
4309 Who are you and what are you doing here? 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
4310 Okay, okay! Once there is water in the moat that is your jurisdiction too. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
4311 Inform Lord Timmy that the tide has turned in the Siege of Brighton Beach. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
4312 I can tell you think the Roman Centurion look with the medieval sandcastle is a bit anachronistic. 1.1200 0.04634 75 68 5 2
4313 Ok, One if by land and Two if by sea. 1.1200 0.04634 75 68 5 2
4314 The gig's a lot easier than killing heathens. 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
4315 I've heard the moat has a deadly undertow. 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
4316 I'll handle the moat -- you can do the rest of it... 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
4317 The next cry for help is yours. I’m beginning to rust. 1.1200 0.04634 75 68 5 2
4318 really good deal on the market. Something about ‘rising sea levels.’ 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
4319 If we work the land every day without stop the Lord gives us enough food to not starve and accommodations that sleep 20 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
4320 It's Canute's castle: don't worry. 1.1196 0.03736 92 82 9 1
4321 Your ocean is useless. I built it out of solid sand. 1.1196 0.04043 92 83 7 2
4322 I found your delusions charming when we first started dating but this is a bridge too far. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
4323 Let me know if you see a dragon over yonder. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
4324 I fell asleep and they tied me up, so this week I came prepared 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
4325 There is a tide, in the affairs of men/ Which, taken at the flood/ leaks into sandy gulches... 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
4326 I kept taking shits in the King's chamber pot so he didn't put up a fuss when I applied for a transfer. The crab who lives in the castle is actually super nice. 1.1190 0.04286 84 76 6 2
4327 im sand night i guard castle 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
4328 My armor shields me from rays 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
4329 It gets a trifle boring at times, but the enemy's just over the horizon and a devastating attack can come at any time. 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
4330 what do you say after a harddays work? Good Knight! 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
4331 Take care, fair maiden -- yon moat is deeper than thou might think... 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
4332 In Rome we didn’t have castles. 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
4333 The moat used only recycled water. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
4334 It's a scale model of my home. Elope there with me and rescue those fallen in the moat. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
4335 Stand down! If it's any castle with a moat, I'm the one who'll be watching it! 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
4336 Hey, do you think you could cover my night shift next week? 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
4337 Think when we talk of horses, that you see them Printing their proud hoofs i' the receiving earth 1.1184 0.04576 76 69 5 2
4338 My job ends when the tide comes in. 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
4339 You save them from drowning an 1.1184 0.04576 76 69 5 2
4340 I think I misunderstood the job description. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
4341 It’s the only thing stopping a tyrannical government takeover of my town. 1.1184 0.04576 76 69 5 2
4342 I was trying to get into the spirit of the event…But now I see that could have been a mistake 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
4343 Knight: I say we attack at nightfall. Lifeguard: No way man, my shift ends at 5. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
4344 I'll guard the castle, you guard the moat. 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
4345 I am Sir Sandy of Rockaway, Milady. 1.1183 0.03367 93 82 11 0
4346 They said I'd get an extra $2 per hour, BTW what SPF do you use? 1.1183 0.03367 93 82 11 0
4347 Mom said this is my side of the moat,Jasmine. 1.1183 0.03367 93 82 11 0
4348 Don't even think about it Bethany. 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
4349 Since the moat dried up I'm here to protect the Castle. 1.1176 0.03496 102 91 10 1
4350 My architect calls it Building Information Modeling. What do you think of the design? 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
4351 Sea Dragons are common this time of year. 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
4352 I'll admit, the moat is a bit redundant. 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
4353 It's the UV rays which are the real killer. 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
4354 I've been demoated to guarding the sand castle! 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
4355 I have done this before successfully, moats do work! 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
4356 If I get too hot and pass out, could you make sure this sand castle makes it through your shift? The Prince is a little jerk about his beach fortifications. 1.1176 0.04013 102 93 6 3
4357 Mom thinks that it enhances the look of my sun protection 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
4358 The folks at PETA said to give this a try. 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
4359 The job posting really did imply there would be more damsels. And different rescue-requiring scenarios. 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
4360 How about a drink after the moat fills up? 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
4361 That SPF defense looks just a wee bit flimsy to me, milady. 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
4362 Mi casa et tu casa baby! 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
4363 Do you think you could watch my sand castle for a few minutes? I need to back to my car and rub some venereal cream over my genitals. 1.1176 0.05354 68 63 2 3
4364 So, you're a Life Guard - I just guard The Castle 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
4365 It’s really really hot in this sun! 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
4366 You will like the castle. It's so easy to keep clean. 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
4367 So this,"High Tide," he's not a dragon?! 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
4368 What were you saying about high tide earlier? 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
4369 Kids these days. We did not dare swim, much less cross the Rubicon 1.1176 0.04927 68 62 4 2
4370 This is my first summer internship for the realm. 1.1170 0.03660 94 84 9 1
4371 I'm only on duty to monitor the moat. 1.1170 0.03660 94 84 9 1
4372 I’m more of a land guy. 1.1170 0.03333 94 83 11 0
4373 How long have you been in the business? 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
4374 Well, it worked for Canute, didn't it? 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
4375 I feel more capable in my natural surroundings. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
4376 Above water, they’re yours. Once they go under, leave it to me. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
4377 Want to grab a drink? I'm off duty when the moat is full. 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
4378 The county provides the armor, but I had to buy the spear. 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
4379 I call dibs on low tide shift. 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
4380 So your saying that just because I’m homeless I can’t have a castle. 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
4381 Don’t worry. I’m only life guarding the moat. Jill Landsberg 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
4382 It comes in pink, mauve, and sea foam." 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
4383 Don’t worry dear lady, I’ve got the kingdom covered. 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
4384 Forgive me, but your dreams of a castle with a moat, are painfully out of proportion! Tell me your secret! 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
4385 At high tide the crabs can be really vicious. 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
4386 So not much has changed, huh? 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
4387 It is more relaxing than jousting with windmills in La Mancha, isn’t it Santo 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
4388 Defending the castle doesn't have to be a sink or swim situation. 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
4389 It's not a dragon but kids. Still... 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
4390 Stop comparing it to Mont-Saint-Michel that's a total motte-and-bailey fallacy. 1.1163 0.04191 86 78 6 2
4391 Storm the castle, Sir Knight. 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
4392 You can never wear too much sun protection. 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
4393 At least you get to go home when it gets dark. 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
4394 I am guarding the moat, but would you like to get drinks when we’re off duty ? 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
4395 My under-armor speedo is killing me. 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
4396 Lance-a lot! Camel-lot! California sucks a lot! 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
4397 A spear is quicker than a life-saver. 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
4398 The castle has an iron-clad guarantee. 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
4399 I'm not concerned. 1.1163 0.04191 86 78 6 2
4400 I've been assigned to work the knight shift. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
4401 I'd much rather be in chain mail. 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
4402 Oh, really? "Work beach nights" is what it said? 1.1159 0.04858 69 63 4 2
4403 Forget about it. I'm no King Canute. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
4404 You might get hurt if they decide to attack. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
4405 I keep telling you, there's no night shifts for lifeguards! 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
4406 Long time no sea 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
4407 Global warming ruler, King Tide will destroy us!" Joan Moir, Tiburon, CA 1.1158 0.03921 95 86 7 2
4408 I have a fear of water -- and I'm going to conquer it. 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
4409 I'm realizing you probably said I should make the MOST of my vacation. 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
4410 Young Maiden, where is your defence? You will be pillaged and fall to the invaders in less than a day. 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4411 Is this your first day of training as well? 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4412 My next sand art is creating a lady in distress. 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
4413 I'm guarding my castle, what are you doing? 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
4414 The ocean can take more than just lives. That’s why us guards need to remain vigilant. 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
4415 Swimming? Not so much. But I rescue damsels in distress. 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
4416 I find the sand castle festival always makes rescues more challenging. 1.1154 0.03432 104 93 10 1
4417 ‘Who’s high & mighty now, mate?’ is what I’ll say. Lancelot’s more brawn than brain though, so it’ll probably go right over his helmet. 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4418 I will guard this with my life 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
4419 Feels like the changing of the guard!!! 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
4420 I'm here to slay the Kracken, but if I start rusting in the water, I'm gonna need your help. 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
4421 ... so to those who would propose to me, 'Sea level rise in inevitable', I shall say 'En guarde!' 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
4422 My quest, m’lady? Protect the ramparts from dragons, evil knight and sea level rise. 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
4423 How did you get over here? 1.1149 0.03439 87 77 10 0
4424 Did you happen to see a large wooden horse being pulled past here while I was on break? 1.1149 0.04144 87 79 6 2
4425 Hey, by any chance, do you have extra sunscreen? 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
4426 I got a good deal on rust proofing 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
4427 Every time the tide comes in I have to change into a pink slip 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
4428 The price of liberty is eternal vigilance 1.1146 0.03588 96 86 9 1
4429 No! I saw it first! It’s mine! 1.1146 0.03881 96 87 7 2
4430 A(r)mour with obsticles 1.1146 0.03268 96 85 11 0
4431 I'm only relevant till the tide comes in. 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
4432 My lance awaits that scurvy serf. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4433 It takes some adjustment, but you can't beat the S.P.F. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4434 Still working on my six pack so thought I’d try shining armor.” 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
4435 ‘It starts at an early age you know building castles in the sky.’ 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4436 Yes, Princess. It's my duty to protect the castle against all invading waves near and far. 1.1143 0.04791 70 64 4 2
4437 My son is going through a whole medieval phase, so this is the only way we could get him out of the house 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4438 Fine! I'll guard the castle myself, you go splash with the children. Lot of good your 'water clothes' will be when the Halberdiers arrive. 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
4439 Does this wheelchair have a battery pack? 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
4440 'You say water. I say dragon.' 1.1143 0.04791 70 64 4 2
4441 You've seen too many episodes of Game of Thrones." 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4442 I was trained in the art of sandcastle building by Stanislavski himself 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
4443 So tell me again why the castle moat needs to have a knight for the lifeguard?? 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4444 Just a foot to moat. 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
4445 Whaddaya mean moat? 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
4446 If you spear them, it'll be easier to save them" 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
4447 I am not a guard, I'm a guardian. 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
4448 It’s not the size of the castle, it’s how you use it. 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
4449 I'm only a first responder if the castle is attacked 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
4450 Well,I guard lives too,you know. 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
4451 This way I can guard the castle and have complete UV protection. 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
4452 Once a night's enough! 1.1136 0.04099 88 80 6 2
4453 I wanted something bigger but it’s hard with the current environment 1.1136 0.04099 88 80 6 2
4454 If someone drowneth, thouest mayest understandeth if I asketh thee to divest in. 1.1136 0.04099 88 80 6 2
4455 High tide is coming. 1.1136 0.03403 88 78 10 0
4456 It's rent stabilized. 1.1136 0.04406 88 81 4 3
4457 Can you save her? I'm protecting my sandcastle. And, in any case, even if I don't sink I'll rust. 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
4458 I was told to expect and invasion! 1.1136 0.04099 88 80 6 2
4459 I've heard that something called the ocean is also attacking. 1.1136 0.03403 88 78 10 0
4460 It’s the only job I could get after my whore of an ex-wife took everything from me. 1.1136 0.04099 88 80 6 2
4461 I love to take walks on the beachhead. 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
4462 Do you have any sunblock I can borrow? 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
4463 Doesn’t hold up great in salt water and a bit heavy to swim in BUT I can protect the castle, harpoon sharks and save the swimmer! 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
4464 Not all heroes wear capes, let that sink in. The castle? 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
4465 Just shut up! You guard your water, I’ll guard mine! 1.1127 0.04726 71 65 4 2
4466 This cartoon is so funny it doesn't need a caption 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
4467 You take the water; I've got the beach. 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
4468 Never watch Jaws 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
4469 I take the job seriously. 1.1125 0.04704 80 74 3 3
4470 Lifeguards 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
4471 I'll handle the sharks. You keep the sand crabs out of my castle. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
4472 I’ve vowed to guard her sand castle for my fair lady 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
4473 Wanna Gummy bear? 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
4474 I'm sitting in for the Prince. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
4475 I'm not a hero. I'm a silent guardian, a watchful protector. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
4476 This is just a summer gig while I put myself through night school. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
4477 That's all I gotta do? And I could be Employee of the Month? 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
4478 If you see marauders on the horizon let me know. 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
4479 Could you make sense of what that fellow was saying just now about 'sink or swim'? 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
4480 I am turning the tide in this war. 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
4481 I’m a Trojan in training. I have to save this kingdom, before I can protect Troy 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
4482 You hear about what went down yesterday? This guy shows up talking about, like, lambs or camels or some shit and then — I shit you not, dude — straight up walks across the water. He was fuckin' sick, dude. I think he said his name was Jeevus. 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
4483 I'll spring into action once the tide starts rising. 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
4484 So this is your idea of a fun day at the beach. 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
4485 Never know when you'll have to slay a dragon. 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
4486 And does CPR protect you from the leviathan? 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
4487 On the positive side,I save a lot of money on suntan lotion. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
4488 Just covering the moat. The ocean's all yours. 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
4489 Why are you so casual? Don't you know it' before the wheel? 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
4490 I see you are also preparing for the Acqua Alta. 1.1111 0.03331 90 80 10 0
4491 My training? I studied in knight school. 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
4492 He's in there right now with some crab he met at McGinty's, this horned-out dungeness who promised him a "captain's feast." 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
4493 So totally not a big deal... but if it's felled they've hired me to destroy you. 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
4494 Well, when the boss gets here we'll find out if he asked for "Sand Sherriff moats", or "Sans Sarif notes". 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
4495 Got any sunscreen I could use? 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
4496 I know what you're thinking. I little overkill with the sunblock. 1.1111 0.03331 90 80 10 0
4497 Look all I know is they said I was gonna start working Knight shift." 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
4498 I got the job because I have tons of castle-guarding experience…, and the king’s endorsement didn’t hurt. 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
4499 Do you remember if the tide is ebbing or waning? 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
4500 No! You cannot play with my castle 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
4501 You can't tell me men don't suffer if you've never had your nuts asphyxiated by swim suit netting. So yeah. 1.1111 0.04662 72 66 4 2
4502 It looked a lot bigger on the computer. 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
4503 The circle is under my supervision. 1.1111 0.04662 72 66 4 2
4504 After high tide I am off 1.1111 0.03514 81 72 9 0
4505 Don't worry. I got the knight shift." Sophia Shen San Francisco, Ca 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
4506 I don’t know how I’m going to protect this thing from a wave. 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
4507 Sunscreen is way too expensive nowadays. 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
4508 You ever heard Sand Machine by Moat-town? 1.1099 0.03297 91 81 10 0
4509 Should we spoon to protect the castle?!? 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
4510 Our moat is bigger than your moat. 1.1099 0.03297 91 81 10 0
4511 Castleguard! 1.1099 0.03648 91 82 8 1
4512 You watch the swimmers, I've got this. 1.1098 0.04593 82 76 3 3
4513 Let me introduce myself, I am the protector of the tiny sand people. 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
4514 I'm King Canute's advance guard. 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
4515 I think we’re good. 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
4516 Guinevere? It's Arthur! You look different today, have you seen Lancelot? I know it sounds a bit bizarre, but in Camelot that's how conditions are. 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
4517 Don't laugh. It's the best I could afford in this market. 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
4518 I'm a Knight with a knack for water-tightness!! You wait and see!!!! 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
4519 It's Spring Break! 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
4520 Of course I'm not made of sand. Are you made of the ocean? 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
4521 Working on vacation sucks. 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
4522 Mind your own business you stupid bitch - I have work to do! 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
4523 Liberals! 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
4524 My kingdom for a low tide. 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
4525 They are not paying enough for me to save this one. 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
4526 Just to let you know, I'll be peeing there later. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
4527 This White Castle has burgers worth stealing, so I am it’s guard. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
4528 So, as you may have guessed, I did most of my training at Scotland Yard. 1.1087 0.03263 92 82 10 0
4529 I’m here to protect the castle while Stacy Moskowitz and her parents are at lunch. 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
4530 Although crocodiles don't surface, we are proud to adhere to our tradition. 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
4531 Today I'm a knight but usually I'm just his step-father. 1.1084 0.04203 83 76 5 2
4532 Don't you feel a little ridiculous sittering out here in a swimsuit? 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
4533 We're still waiting for the tennis umpire. 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
4534 Yeah, I'm going spear fishing after work 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
4535 Oh. Swim-suits. 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4536 Do you want to grab a drink after the tide comes in? 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4537 Can I borrow some sunscreen? 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
4538 If the tide comes in again, war 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4539 You make sure the coast is clear and I'll shore up against the first wave 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4540 I psychologically build my fragile ego, but on the practical side, I tan faster. 1.1081 0.04540 74 68 4 2
4541 Come on now, it isn’t the Rubicon. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
4542 It's a moat, you let people drown in the moat, get it? 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4543 My first quest is to protect Castle Sandalot. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
4544 We’ve downsized since becoming empty-jesters. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
4545 Seen any dragons lately? 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
4546 Me? I'm a life guard. What do you do? 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
4547 I am guarding Mickey Rooneys castle. 1.1075 0.03887 93 85 6 2
4548 If people are drowning I will stab them? 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
4549 No, the suntan oil is to prevent my suit from rusting 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
4550 I got tired of castles in the air. 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
4551 I can conquer any tide! 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
4552 I told you to stay within your own territory. 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
4553 The portcullis won't be delivered for six to eight weeks - supply chain issues 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
4554 I for one actually guard lives, not dives 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
4555 Forget dragons, I'm more worried about defeating the dreaded high tide! 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
4556 I wish the defender first prize was different. 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
4557 Some surfers ransacked our previous castle. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
4558 I'm hoping to get into a Carl Hiaasen novel. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
4559 There's a tiny King in there. I'm in charge of guarding him. 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
4560 It's better than zinc for sun protection. It makes fighting sharks safer. And nobody messes with my sand castle. 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
4561 I am Lord and Master of all I survey. You're just the lifeguard. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
4562 My castle be only made of sand, but I am real, m’lady. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
4563 Before climate change, guarding was simple. Now, every wave is a rogue. 1.1064 0.03197 94 84 10 0
4564 Should marauding Vikings float in on air mattresses, I'm at the ready to defend our beloved citadel. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
4565 What’s the play here? Are we saving people or slaughtering those that storm the sandcastle? 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
4566 PARDON ME, MADAM BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY ICE CUBES? 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
4567 "I don't really care if it goes down--do you? 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
4568 I use SPF 50 to keep down the rust. 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
4569 I have a spear... how's a red ring supposed to keep the kingdom safe? 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
4570 It’s got UBA and UBV protection, and won’t wash away like your castle when the tide comes in. 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
4571 I get off at five if you don't mind walking me home. 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
4572 I lost a bet with my kid. Five more minutes and I kick it to pieces and go have a beer, join me? 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
4573 "This one really is a princess." 1.1058 0.03324 104 94 9 1
4574 Is it above high tide? 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4575 Sure, work out every day, 'cause as you can see, I can't afford to get rusty. 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4576 No, I didn't build that sand castle. This armor is SPF 1,000. 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4577 Every time the tide comes in I lose this job 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4578 You take care of the distressed swimmers, I’ll defend the castle. 1.1053 0.04424 76 70 4 2
4579 The castle is protected. But I burn easily hence the suit of armor. 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
4580 My place or yours? 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
4581 cccccccccccccccccccccccccc 1.1047 0.04385 86 80 3 3
4582 Go ahead and take your puncta first, m'lady 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
4583 Moat season is the best ammirite? 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
4584 What with global warming, this gig offers more job security." 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
4585 And how do *you* plan to protect the castle? 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
4586 The sand knight I was trying to build kept collapsing. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4587 you I use Spf 50 or 60? 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
4588 I was hired to keep the castle safe. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4589 I was told to defend this castle at all costs. My Lord told me there’s this thing called High Tide, what’s that about? 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4590 High tide the moat fills and I take over, right? 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
4591 Sail away with me, to another world... 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
4592 I bet your sun protection has a very high SPF number 1.1039 0.04369 77 71 4 2
4593 The archers were devastated by a mild undertow and are currently taking losses from the sea grass! 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
4594 We need to think ourselves into our castle after you think yourself into some armour. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4595 I triple dare you to kick my castle 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4596 I was quite discontent a few months ago, but this time of year is glorious." 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4597 The realtor sold us on the ocean view. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
4598 Actually, the rust is even worse. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
4599 What do you use? SPF 50? 1.1038 0.03264 106 96 9 1
4600 One if by land, I'll take it, two if by sea, you take it. 1.1034 0.04016 87 80 5 2
4601 « Just doing my job. » « …me too. » 1.1034 0.04016 87 80 5 2
4602 Sand castle duty isn’t so bad. I mean, Galahad’s still trying to get the burger smell out of his armor. 1.1034 0.03284 87 78 9 0
4603 I'm divided between protecting this castle or you from all man willing to drown for a mouth to mouth. 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
4604 This was the only job the job center could give me with my qualifications. 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
4605 Swimmers are not permitted to float in my moat." "We need to move on to bigger and better things. 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
4606 A corporation is a person, too! 1.1026 0.04314 78 72 4 2
4607 I told you to make the moat a little bigger, honey... 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
4608 At least it’s temp job. 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
4609 I thought this suit of armor would do the trick, but unfortunately the sea level keeps rising. 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
4610 No Crossing the Rubicon without adult supervision 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
4611 I’m starting to think HR heard me say “experienced Crews Aid” in my interview. 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
4612 Remember, you can save the marauding huns only in the ocean, not in the moat. 1.1023 0.03249 88 79 9 0
4613 You're wrong. The election was rigged. 1.1020 0.03399 98 89 8 1
4614 How about letting me take you out for a spin in my chariot later this afternoon." 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
4615 Uncharacteristically, the King suggested I join you Serf Lifesaving 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
4616 This keeps me hydrated and allows me to loose weight at the same time. 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
4617 It has a great view of the ocean and I'm renting it out to some turtles. 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
4618 I protect the castle. 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
4619 Yes, the salt air does increase the rusting, which is why the turkey leg grease is so important. 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
4620 King Cnut just needed a bigger chair 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
4621 NFT footage from a recent online stronghold battle on Sandbox platform. 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
4622 You take the castle, I'll take the moat. 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
4623 Oh, you must be the non-damsel lifeguard. 1.1013 0.04261 79 73 4 2
4624 My kingdom for your sun block and a Piña Colada. 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
4625 Was flood insurance an option in 1537? 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
4626 Sandy beaches are my courtly challenge, my lady. 1.1013 0.04261 79 73 4 2
4627 Let's Deal, you can rescue the midget inhabitants but you leave the keys to the castle in front of the drawbridge? 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
4628 We’ll split things equitably: I’ll take care of sea dragons while you handle the rest. 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
4629 A man's home is his castle, except when the tide rushes in. 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
4630 I find, while guarding the sand castle, metal sunscreen works best 1.1013 0.04261 79 73 4 2
4631 Could you rub some sun block on for me? 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
4632 You watch the swimmers. I'll watch the castle. 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
4633 You are right,it is rather warm in here. But the SPF is 100! 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
4634 You guard the castle, I'll guard the water. 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
4635 It's SPF 950...Sun? No, spear. 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
4636 A hipster? Me? Why would you assume such a thing? 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
4637 I rule. At home. At the beach. Everywhere. 1.1000 0.03551 90 82 7 1
4638 Rough sea is bad, but kids are the worst, ain't it? 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
4639 I knight thee king of this sand castle. 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
4640 Because I’m guarding the castle! 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
4641 How do you expect to defend the castle in that outfit? 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
4642 I complained to Merlin I wanted a larger guarding job outside the castle 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
4643 You happen to have anything higher than SPF80? 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
4644 Castle? No, the armor is to protect me from the sun 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
4645 And I'm here to rescue YOU, m'lady. 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
4646 I get hives from sunscreen.. 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
4647 My daughter insisted I guard it against sea monsters. 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
4648 Whom do you serve? 1.1000 0.03551 90 82 7 1
4649 You were wondering about the fall of the Roman Empire? 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
4650 Shrinkflation has taken a toll on all of us. 1.1000 0.03551 90 82 7 1
4651 You know, I have a sensitive skin 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
4652 Like sands through the hourglass. So are the days of our lives. 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
4653 My therapist said my anxiety will be washed away too. 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
4654 I'm actually Trojan Horsing around. 1.0988 0.04515 81 76 2 3
4655 Except for the armor, life's a beach. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
4656 I'm the official jousting referee. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
4657 You have to wait until the royal cat comes out. 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
4658 You watch the ocean,I’ve got the most. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
4659 I’ve been looking for a new knight gig, but I don’t think this is it. 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
4660 Don't dare to Enter in my area . Chill bro !! We are here for chill. 1.0988 0.04159 81 75 4 2
4661 Well, with today's real estate prices... 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
4662 It’s harder for me because they’re wearing armor. 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
4663 I'll guard the keep from being breached, while you guard the deep from being beached. 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
4664 I designed this for full protection against tidal wave. 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
4665 I can’t come up with a fucking thing 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
4666 Son! Get back here, my liege. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
4667 We are NOT going to be able to get more than one guy into the horse. 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
4668 I konw we're not supposed to talk to the lifeguard but how do you like my castle? 1.0978 0.03114 92 83 9 0
4669 It’s a feng shui thing. 1.0978 0.03477 92 84 7 1
4670 You must never have encountered small children on the beach defending their sand castles. 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
4671 I'm the king of the castle and you're the dirty rascal 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
4672 How about lunch today ? 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
4673 Have you seen the re-moat? 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
4674 Sometimes you gotta look out for number one, right? 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
4675 Once the moats full, I am safe to swim 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
4676 I'm ready to cover the moat. 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
4677 -believe , I 've always told you ! Now there's no one to rescue cause , there's no ocean . 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
4678 Night swimming deserves a quiet knight 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
4679 Just imagine the Round Table in there. 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4680 It was project managed by a drunk Feng Shui contractor. 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4681 This is great sunblock 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
4682 I pay a fortune for insurance. 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
4683 Marlene, didn't you hear the tsunami alarm? 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
4684 I think it will go better when the tide comes in, but what's your professional opinion? 1.0968 0.03082 93 84 9 0
4685 Priorities, Sarah. Priorites. 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
4686 I'm getting into character for my audition at Medieval Times. 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
4687 I'm protecting the castle, even though it's sand! 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
4688 I haul a dragon out of the moat every high tide. 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
4689 I can't swim so I'll storm the castle you watch the stream. 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
4690 Baywatch, Knightwatch- tomato tomaaahto… 1.0964 0.04062 83 77 4 2
4691 I am afraid I will be breached when the tide comes in, will you please redirect the tide away from my moat? 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
4692 When the moat overflows, it's time to get our smoothies. 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
4693 Yeah, i was the original inspiration for Jimi Hendrix 1.0959 0.03981 73 67 5 1
4694 I'm allergic to sunscreen. 1.0959 0.03981 73 67 5 1
4695 What are you gonna do when the tide comes in? 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
4696 But you said I was king of the castle & yet you won't let me even put on any sunscreen, fetch me my horse. 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
4697 I'll watch out for the horses, you watch out for the sharks. 1.0959 0.04433 73 68 3 2
4698 Some of the other guys are already obsessing about the fall and I'm like - "Can't we just enjoy the summer first?" 1.0959 0.03981 73 67 5 1
4699 The gal in Human Resources says I can work my way up. 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
4700 Yes, it gets hot, but I'm off when the tide comes in. 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
4701 You'll soon need more than SPF 50 Mi Lady! 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
4702 I forgot to change after my LARPING campaign. 1.0952 0.04015 84 78 4 2
4703 If I start to drown in my armor, will you save me? 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
4704 Sure it's hot, but think of how much I'm saving on sunscreen 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
4705 I'll keep an eye on the castle. You watch the moat. 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
4706 I guess you can say I'm more of a PLAY-torian Guard... 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
4707 Let the b*stards come! 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4708 Lifeguarding is a Noble profession. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
4709 Care for a little sand jousting? 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4710 They got a deal on insurance if I'm on watch. 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4711 I built the chair from the throne on my time machine. 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4712 Has anyone stormed the castle on your watch? 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
4713 I lost my job at the big castle. 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4714 What? I don’t have another zoom for an hour.” - David Kar 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
4715 There can be only one. 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
4716 Just because the boss says we should switch jobs this afternoon doesn't mean it's a great idea. 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
4717 It's confusing when the moat is the invader 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
4718 You think that boy named Sue had it tough? Can you imagine this job interview? "Come on in Canute..... So distinguished....A natural...." 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
4719 I’ll guard the castle from the Romans, you guard it from the waves. 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
4720 Should I have to take a bathroom break, it's up to you to preserve the castle from high tide 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
4721 Defending the castle is a sink or swim situation. 1.0938 0.04295 64 59 4 1
4722 Seagulls are very closely related to dragons. [Please underscore "very."] 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
4723 I don’t know the difference between “love” and “deuce”, do you? 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
4724 The ad said jousting with the locals for summer fun. Now I’ve got sand in places I can’t scratch! 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
4725 This is the Jersey shore, Helen. You never know when Snooki is gonna mess with you. 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
4726 I guard it until high tide takes it. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
4727 Avoiding the sun so you can truly become the white knight of the beach, buh?" "Don't furrow your brow at me; you'll wrinkle. 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
4728 You know what they say, "Dress for the job you want..." 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
4729 If you think that whistle's gonna protect you when a tidal wave hits, you're crazy. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
4730 I have an uneasy truce with Poseidon. 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
4731 I come here to relax on my off day, and I’m surrounded by “castle experts” who have never been under siege. The appropriation gets old. 1.0928 0.03304 97 89 7 1
4732 I told you the judges wouldn't be swayed by your costume 1.0923 0.04231 65 60 4 1
4733 I'm just fed up with Edwin's Tiny House Nation obsession. 1.0923 0.04231 65 60 4 1
4734 Two years additional training and the perks are worth it.” 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
4735 It's a little riskier for the victim, but I'm much more accurate with the javelin. 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
4736 Little Timmy promised me ice cream. 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
4737 You're just enabling poor swimmers, I'm defending civilization against natural forces. 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
4738 The crabs on this beach are brutish. 1.0920 0.03116 87 79 8 0
4739 The sand in my suit chafes like you wouldn’t believe. 1.0920 0.03116 87 79 8 0
4740 Water in the moat? I can't swim. 1.0920 0.03116 87 79 8 0
4741 "I was at Medieval Times and lost the bet." 1.0909 0.03837 88 82 4 2
4742 I said, "A centurion in time makes nine." 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
4743 You might think I’m dressed like this to guard a castle, but actually I’m allergic to sun screen and it was my dermatologist’s idea. 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
4744 My kingdom for a whale! 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
4745 Its SPF ! Not SPQR !! 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
4746 I said it’s the renaisSANDS festival not the renaissance 1.0909 0.03082 88 80 8 0
4747 Will you be able to protect me ? 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
4748 How much you got paid for fixing the game 1.0899 0.03049 89 81 8 0
4749 Sorry, my ancient people don't swim and they don't understand what you do. 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
4750 I'll watch the castle. You can have the rest of the beach. 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
4751 I built the castle; can you do the saving? 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
4752 I'm holding the fort against dangerous rising sea level 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
4753 Ahoy there! If I could, I'd ask you your name! Anyway, my name is Obsoletely The Greatly IV and I shall now commence talking at you for the entirety of our shift together! 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
4754 Sorry, I had to bring my work home this weekend. 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
4755 Pardon my boldness,but you'll need more than a whistle to defend the citadel. 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
4756 I hope yours don't sink as easily as mine! 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
4757 Simple. Games I play for a POA on vacation. 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
4758 i am the white knight overseeing the contribution to black communities from @BLM .. it's larger than it appears 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
4759 „It was 50% off. And you know me. I love a good bargain! And it's seasonless! And it matches my last season spear" 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
4760 We must prepare for waves of attacks. 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
4761 I'm just saying they should have given us more direction than just saying, "guard the castle." 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
4762 You have to promise to save my castle from the tides. 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
4763 You're Guinevere god dammit! You want me to stick you with this thing? Admit your Guinevere. 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
4764 It looked a lot bigger through the telescope. 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
4765 I was prepared for threatcon delta. These kids are dangerous. 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
4766 I’m getting bored with video games. 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
4767 Surprisingly, it’s the sand in the joints that gives me the most trouble. 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
4768 I’m off duty once the tide comes in. What about you? 1.0886 0.04104 79 74 3 2
4769 I'm a per diem worker 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
4770 We shall defend the castle of HRH Prince George of Cambridge at all costs. 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
4771 I don't know which of us better represents existential ennui, but if anyone comes along swimming in that stream, I'd say that person. 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
4772 Do you think I have enough armor to guard my castle? 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
4773 The kid's mom said I was her knight in shining armor and then this was delivered the next day. 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
4774 What's it like working for the Marquis de Sand? He's absolutely medieval. 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
4775 I knock off work around high tide. 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
4776 If I actually jumped into water over my head with this metal suit on, you would have another life-saving opportunity. 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
4777 I imagine you want to know what all the fuss is about. 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
4778 Sandy, wet & hot...Not the moat...My feet. 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
4779 The green light on my pilot hinges on finding a way to make running in slow motion look good. 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
4780 Yeah? Well, you'll BE a damsel in distress without the right SPF! 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
4781 Is that a motte for ants?!? 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
4782 I'm on knight duty this week 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
4783 Well, Hadrian already did the wall thing. 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
4784 Please join me-- I'm going to toast my muffuletta around noon. 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
4785 I'm only wearing it until the tide comes in. 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
4786 I hope no one needs assistance, I might sink like a stone or rust up to the point of negative motion. Then again, fish for supper? 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
4787 Dragons or water, I will protect thee that lays before me! 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
4788 King Arthur Junior is much better at ruling over sand castles than he is at swimmimg so I may need your help. 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
4789 Looks like full-body coverage, but the alloy plates in this suit will turbo-charge my suntan. Buoyancy could be a problem though. 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
4790 Irresponsible swimmers really get my moat 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
4791 Hi, Ben." 1.0860 0.02923 93 85 8 0
4792 I left my other bathing suit in the laundry 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
4793 This is my first day. I'm David NeuschwansteinHoff. 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
4794 Just let the moat do its thing. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
4795 Incoming tide, so they made me on fief guard. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
4796 What do you mean Life Guarding a sand castle is easy? Ever save a crab who's 'Hanging Ten ,' on your private parts? 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
4797 Division of labor 1.0854 0.03557 82 76 5 1
4798 Do you know a guy named “Corp Pop?” 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
4799 My lordship decreed I stay til his moat is filled. 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
4800 I thought Cnut died in 1035 evidently there was one a thousand years before 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
4801 Not sure why they sent me…Something about winter coming 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
4802 I pulled the day shift. 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
4803 SPF 500 still doesn’t cut it. 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
4804 Would you mind watching my castle for a minute. I have to go pee. 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
4805 Hey..like to have a beer at my place later ? 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
4806 It's was the only sun block I had, and it's really old. 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
4807 That's what the moat is for - to keep the water out. 1.0843 0.03069 83 76 7 0
4808 Have you seen my crocodile? 1.0843 0.03069 83 76 7 0
4809 I am definitely afraid of sunburn ... 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
4810 I’m ready for the shark rescues. 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
4811 Your kind can't handle dragons OR sea monsters. 1.0843 0.03069 83 76 7 0
4812 When is the next Kraken due? 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
4813 …turns out “UnderArmor” is a brand of swim trunks! Anyway, I sold my car to buy this and my wife is furious. She was planning to go to the races today, put some money on the ponies and now she can’t. I love her so much, but she’s always disappointed. 1.0833 0.03474 84 78 5 1
4814 It's my turn to protect the castle 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
4815 I guess I should have applied the sunblock beforehand. 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
4816 If you're going to storm it, best you get some grease in your garters there Rusty! 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
4817 I'm glad I brought my armor, just in case. 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
4818 Stream-moat” control device for your castle on the beach 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
4819 This beats standing all day 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
4820 Trust me, don’t let anyone give you a wooden sea horse 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
4821 I was the test subject for their grow-ray. 1.0824 0.02999 85 78 7 0
4822 Excuse me - How wide is this mote?? 1.0824 0.03435 85 79 5 1
4823 I’ve have about 8 minutes then I need to go! 1.0824 0.02999 85 78 7 0
4824 Ugh! This castle is so sandy. 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
4825 You take this part of the ocean and as knight of this realm, I shall guard this castle lest anyone falls into the moat. 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
4826 Were you in Baywatch ? 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
4827 ‘Wait, where’s YOUR spear?’ 1.0814 0.03396 86 80 5 1
4828 Hi, my name's Cnut the Great, so no worries about the sandcastle. 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
4829 Do you think I’m overdressed for this task? 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
4830 There has been a plague of destruction across the Castles of Sand. It is my sworn duty to protect this land for my little sister and father. 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
4831 There’s a shortage of lifeguards so they called me out to defend the sandcastle. 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
4832 Full armor was a bad choice. 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
4833 The job awaiting PhD graduates from WhatsApp university, batch of 2022 history & geopolitics. 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
4834 The Queen told me to protect the castle from high-energy kids. 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
4835 Why do I swim in full armour, you say? It’s in the family. And do let me bring my sand moulds next time. 1.0805 0.03358 87 81 5 1
4836 Don't mind me, I'm just guarding the Queen's Royal sand castle! 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
4837 No, we don't cover flood or water damage. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
4838 Did I mention in the interview that I am allergic to rust? 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
4839 Let me know if you spot any Saracens. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
4840 Once you got the wheel chair down wouldn’t it get stuck in the sand? This old thing? I only wear it to lose weight by sweating 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
4841 Oh.. so we just have to clean up all those used condom wrappers? 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
4842 Beware! There be sea dragons. 1.0800 0.04142 75 71 2 2
4843 I don't know what kind of weapons they have, so should we just wait and let the incoming tide do the trick 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
4844 Why is your moat longer than mine? 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
4845 They were out of sun shirts so this was the next best thing. 1.0795 0.03321 88 82 5 1
4846 I sent my squire to buy a medieval model train set. 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
4847 No. Knoght guard. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
4848 Man, it’s hot out! 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
4849 If I told you I’d have to kill you. No one’s gonna kick sand in MY face. I do re-enactments with the guy from the next lifeguard station. I’m 417; how old are you? Defending waterfront property from global warming is serious business. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
4850 Princess, I'll save you if you save me. 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
4851 My ancestors had plenty of challenges and no internet for help 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
4852 Guess how much comments will we get for this photo?" "Now it's 505 and gaining! 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
4853 just keeping an eye out for trojan crabs 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
4854 The kids weren't sure about how your jousting skills held up in combat 1.0787 0.02870 89 82 7 0
4855 Do you think only human lives need guarding? 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
4856 I'm attacking at high tide. 1.0781 0.04049 64 60 3 1
4857 How else am i supposed to guard life when your country has strict gun laws 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
4858 I'm not sure that my sword can hold back the tide and save the sandcastle for mankind! 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
4859 I need to attend a quest, watch the kingdom, if something goes wrong the young boy king who made it will order me to be executed 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
4860 King Canute showed me how. 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
4861 You are invited to the final event of the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee. We highly recommend an immediate arrival. God Save the Queen! 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
4862 I freak out when the castle is made intoTreasure Island. 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
4863 Okay, I presume you are here to prevent any ship blockage from happening in what seems to be the narrow canal! 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
4864 0ne of us is literally having wonderful hallucinations… tell me it’s me. l d soderlind Minneapolis, M 1.0761 0.02779 92 85 7 0
4865 I used to defend a castle from a big monster too you know. 1.0761 0.03180 92 86 5 1
4866 I’m ready for the Dragon when it comes to the castle looking for the fair damsel. 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
4867 No beach breach if you watch the big moat 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
4868 It's always a little slow this time of year 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
4869 A sand castle?? But im a knight! I like real castles,genius!! 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
4870 "Have you seen the kid that built the sandcastle? I need some moat repairs." 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
4871 All I said was that I thought Camelot might be a little oversized for a handful of knights… 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
4872 2 ...if by sea..... get it ?? 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
4873 What will you wear for a sand Jacuzzi? 1.0737 0.03082 95 89 5 1
4874 I'm better equipped than King Canute the Great. 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
4875 Any closer and you get to wea 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
4876 I’m here to save the lifeguard shortage day. 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
4877 @chris_j_fleming I think you’ll find all the key elements are still there. 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
4878 Don't worry, they guaranteed that this material can float 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
4879 Hey! Can you help me? The Holy Grail has already washed out to sea and I heard that King Arthur and King Lancelot are in McSorley's bar on East 7th St. 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
4880 SAND BUMP ahead. 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
4881 I just got transferred...me too. 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
4882 I have always known that you existed in a different world, but I know what the real world is and what I am called to do. 1.0725 0.03761 69 65 3 1
4883 I’m here to defend my castle. But, I’m more important then you - I’m here to protect the swimmers and the others on the beach! 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
4884 You’re gonna hate high tide, Sir Justin! 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
4885 I can spear my fish once the coast is clear. 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
4886 This is our city's defense against Red Tide 1.0714 0.03295 84 79 4 1
4887 I'm protecting the castle, but also my skin. 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
4888 So,you think you can swim in that? 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
4889 My main concern is no longer marauding hordes,it 1.0714 0.03295 84 79 4 1
4890 King Canute is on the way. 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
4891 And then James was telling me they are taking our spears but I need it to protect my castle. 1.0714 0.03295 84 79 4 1
4892 Preparing for when she’s in high school! 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
4893 The Black Knight, Sir Coma, doesn't stand a chance! 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
4894 Lucky to have found these siege engines in place 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
4895 I can’t swim but I can guard castles. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
4896 I'll take it from here son, and next time try dressing for the job 1.0704 0.03657 71 67 3 1
4897 You're saying you save them if the moat works? 1.0698 0.02763 86 80 6 0
4898 Want to grab a bite after the tides in? 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
4899 So, what's your job? 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
4900 I scaled the moat, no problem, but the paddle rescue was b*tch! 1.0693 0.02904 101 95 5 1
4901 I hear the gunshots -let the teachers handle it, they get paid to handle kids 1.0690 0.03184 87 82 4 1
4902 It's the last castle in the neighborhood... 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
4903 I have to fire you for not adhering to the dress code. 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
4904 That’s no way to protect yourself from the sun let alone from the invaders! 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
4905 Your turn to save me, fair maiden 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
4906 Well, what if a dragon attacks a maiden in the swimming pool? 1.0685 0.03559 73 69 3 1
4907 Yeah, it's a double edged sword - it's over 50+ UPF ! But I usually get second-degree burns when I take it off... 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
4908 Lancelot didn’t know how to swim. 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
4909 Tide's rising 🌊 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
4910 I am Benighted; I must slay the attackers, the horses from the sea. 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
4911 Yes, I must protect my castle you scurvy braggart! No matter what size! 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
4912 I’ve got this side of the most, trusting you for the other. 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
4913 Doth thee oversee an entire kingdom as well? 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
4914 If Canute can, I can." or "Well, it will take some lifting gear and about 45 minutes to get me rescue ready, of course.. 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
4915 You protect the commoners; I'll protect the castle. 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
4916 Damsel? You're hardly dressed for the part. 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
4917 Rust is the enemy ñ 1.0649 0.02827 77 72 5 0
4918 I’ll take the moat and you take the hoards of 6 year olds 1.0645 0.03896 62 59 2 1
4919 stay sharp… i heard Barron Trump is rallying his troops 1.0645 0.03896 62 59 2 1
4920 I take skin cancer seriously. 1.0641 0.03335 78 74 3 1
4921 I am not a lifeguard. I am here to keep the ocean from rising, using old tried and true methods. 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
4922 I just exhaled confidant that he was minding the mint. 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
4923 Saving people at sea is fine, but I prefer moats. 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
4924 They stationed me here to relax and reflect. 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
4925 Sand castles were more fun when the beachcombers were more understanding of medieval politics. 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
4926 You do things your way, I do things my way. 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
4927 I couldn’t recognize, which division are you from? 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
4928 Even our ancestors don't watch over us anymore... they're distracted. 1.0615 0.03004 65 61 4 0
4929 Now, isn’t this more fun than Mallorca? 1.0610 0.02659 82 77 5 0
4930 Can I stay at your place tonight? 1.0610 0.03175 82 78 3 1
4931 You wouldn't believe the chaffing. The metal is literally poisonous to human flesh. 1.0606 0.02960 66 62 4 0
4932 When you factor in rust delays, I'm basically working half-time. 1.0606 0.02960 66 62 4 0
4933 I meant what I said about you being ill-clad earlier, & that you do not deign to reply is a slight beyond my comprehension. I think our superior would like to hear about your unpreparedness and lack of chivalry. 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
4934 Sunscreen might be just as effective. 1.0595 0.02597 84 79 5 0
4935 I defend my realm against all invaders and hazards. 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
4936 I’m here until the most fills at high tide. 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
4937 Don't worry, I'll be gone as soon as the tide washes away the castle. 1.0575 0.02995 87 83 3 1
4938 Sure, you get better protection down there, but you just can't beat the breeze up here, ya know? 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
4939 It is a difficult security problem. The raiders of the high tide will lay siege again. 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
4940 This is the last time I vow to defend one of my liege's fortresses on spec. 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
4941 Starting tomorrow, I`ll be working knight time 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
4942 Just in case a damsel needs saving. 1.0556 0.03362 72 69 2 1
4943 What is climate change? 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
4944 People who live in Glass Castles,shouldn’t throw stones! 1.0556 0.02897 90 86 3 1
4945 My Lord hath scaled-down, due to your president's failed economic policy. 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
4946 … and in hindsight, it was a Pyrrhic victory over the court-martial. How about you? 1.0556 0.03362 72 69 2 1
4947 Can you Please look after my castle I'm going for a Loo break. 1.0556 0.03362 72 69 2 1
4948 One more day6210e3c9b0cbe:T=1654308946:RT=1654570941:S=ALNI_MZq0F4FJNQzRyk9EqLYNkx_niSMwA 1.0548 0.03316 73 70 2 1
4949 This is my dream job. Where else would a knight in shining armor rescue me from a sand castle? Oh, it's a dream alright. I'm just a prop for Sesame Street. 1.0543 0.02376 92 87 5 0
4950 Would you give up your throne to rule my kingdom with me? 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
4951 You have an unfair advantage since you were developed after being seamless was considered a virtue. 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
4952 Yeah, the armor is great sun protection. Convenient, since I need all the suntan oil I can get to pour on enemy invaders 1.0541 0.02647 74 70 4 0
4953 Knight of the Red Cross at you service 1.0533 0.02612 75 71 4 0
4954 If I sit here long enough in the sun my body will bake to perfection inside of my armor. The savory cooked meat of my flesh will provide food for this village in the rough winters ahead. No, I’m not trying to avoid our argument! This is my purpose. 1.0533 0.03229 75 72 2 1
4955 Deus vult? Not cool, dude. Just watch the water. 1.0533 0.02612 75 71 4 0
4956 If you can wear your wheelchair to the beach I can wear my suit of armour. 1.0526 0.02578 76 72 4 0
4957 My life preserver is preserving my castle. 1.0519 0.03146 77 74 2 1
4958 So coarse! My kingdom for some coarse sand? Come on! 1.0500 0.02452 80 76 4 0
4959 Got dragon? 1.0500 0.02837 60 57 3 0
4960 I think it's your turn to defend it. 1.0494 0.02422 81 77 4 0
4961 This is just for today. I'm just so excited about the upcoming 'Camelot' revival that I could scream. 1.0494 0.02992 81 78 2 1
4962 Canute tell the tide not to come in? 1.0482 0.02365 83 79 4 0
4963 It was their 7th offer and they're not taking any chances. 1.0476 0.02705 63 60 3 0
4964 Years from now, my grandchildren will ask me about the brave knight in shining armor who protected the super cool sand castle on South Beach. Believe me, it will be worth it. 1.0469 0.02663 64 61 3 0
4965 I hear the Roundtable serves up a great lobster roll, have you been? 1.0469 0.02663 64 61 3 0
4966 I'm here at King Canute's command 1.0462 0.02623 65 62 3 0
4967 No surf and sand in the area. I think we both know it’s my castle. 1.0455 0.02584 66 63 3 0
4968 Truth or Dare. Better than the truth. 1.0455 0.02584 66 63 3 0
4969 I'm here to guard your moat. 1.0441 0.02509 68 65 3 0
4970 After the Crusade l was moved tomanagement position with reduced responsibilty was the next step. 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
4971 Whassup, Dragon McNugget? 1.0429 0.03176 70 68 1 1
4972 Ever since King Arthur caught me sleeping with Sir Lancelot, I've been given the smaller responsibilities. 1.0423 0.02404 71 68 3 0
4973 And pray tell, dear Lady, why couldn't it serve as a temporary beach home? 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
4974 Look, the kid told me I was the Knight, and I take that very seriously. 1.0361 0.02061 83 80 3 0
4975 It worked before. 1.0299 0.02095 67 65 2 0
4976 Yes, I’m the Queen too. 1.0294 0.02064 68 66 2 0
4977 Yeah, I'm on guard duty too. But I just can't help you out in this outfit. 1.0286 0.02006 70 68 2 0
4978 Let me know when you see Lady Mermaid. 1.0260 0.01825 77 75 2 0
4979 What?—they ran out of sunscreen and I’ve got a thing for this town. 1.0260 0.01825 77 75 2 0