Contest #799


Cartoon

799

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “I thought you’d like to try it, instead of just knocking it off the counter.”
  2. “I hope it pairs well with whatever you dragged in.”
  3. “Are you ignoring anyone else?”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2022-04-17T17:08:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2022-05-08T17:09:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2022-05-02T17:09:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued May 9, 2022
Number of captions 6818
Number of responses 1081898
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 ..... and that's when she said, 'It's me or the cat. 1.8708 0.00957 7108 2831 2364 1913
1 Finish your wine and I’ll explain what I meant by ‘fixed’”. 1.8593 0.00979 6885 2822 2210 1853
2 This is a 1961 Chateau Cheval Blanc. I'm not pouring it into a saucer. 1.8449 0.01046 5720 2302 2003 1415
3 I hope it pairs well with whatever you dragged in. 1.8373 0.00940 7119 2913 2451 1755
4 I thought you'd like to try it, instead of just knocking it off the counter. 1.8369 0.01095 5145 2076 1832 1237
5 To be honest, not what I was expecting when you said you were a cat person. 1.8172 0.00975 6646 2816 2229 1601
6 So, where do you see yourself in 5 lives? 1.8168 0.00962 6615 2743 2341 1531
7 I also clawed my way to the top. 1.8165 0.01392 2987 1189 1157 641
8 It's time you know. You're adopted. 1.8151 0.00973 6598 2785 2248 1565
9 I liked in your profile how you said you always land on your feet. 1.8147 0.00991 6056 2466 2246 1344
10 Second door to the left, under the sink. 1.8097 0.01324 3494 1466 1227 801
11 How do you feel about petting on the first date? 1.8024 0.01295 3820 1676 1223 921
12 But enough about me, tell me about your lives. 1.7977 0.00969 6347 2661 2309 1377
13 I must say, when your profile said “Must like cats” this isn’t exactly what I was expecting… 1.7949 0.00930 7094 3055 2439 1600
14 My last date was a dog and all she wanted to do was go out. 1.7924 0.01248 3907 1678 1362 867
15 You’re purring your words. 1.7922 0.00964 6555 2820 2277 1458
16 When you said cat person on your profile I pictured something a little different 1.7890 0.01111 4895 2103 1722 1070
17 OK, so where were we before you heard the can opener? 1.7881 0.01076 5319 2321 1804 1194
18 No, it doesn’t taste funny to me; but then, I didn’t just use my tongue to “tidy up.” 1.7815 0.01070 5612 2551 1736 1325
19 I think that you will like it. It's aloof and hard to approach. 1.7772 0.00973 6352 2776 2215 1361
20 It has a nice bouquet, but I'd still rather play with the cork. 1.7756 0.01044 5544 2435 1918 1191
21 I’m not sure this qualifies as not drinking alone, Dave 1.7745 0.01535 2528 1105 890 533
22 So, what do you want to do with your lives? 1.7744 0.00979 6113 2637 2218 1258
23 I think I misinterpreted when you said you were a cat-person. 1.7726 0.01083 5128 2256 1782 1090
24 You know, this would be illegal in Texas, Georgia, and Florida. 1.7707 0.01039 6006 2792 1799 1415
25 Are you ignoring anyone else? 1.7698 0.00949 6726 2991 2292 1443
26 Do you believe in petting on the first date? 1.7688 0.01092 5199 2352 1697 1150
27 This is awkward. You’re still not allowed on the couch. 1.7684 0.01306 3389 1462 1250 677
28 I think we should start ignoring other people. 1.7638 0.01069 5305 2382 1794 1129
29 It’s white with fish. Red with mouse. 1.7623 0.01260 3736 1657 1310 769
30 We have to talk about what happened to the canary. 1.7601 0.01042 5244 2272 1958 1014
31 After the third glass I forget which one of us is the imaginary friend. 1.7595 0.01386 3144 1418 1064 662
32 I think you'll find it pairs nicely with both wet food and a variety of rodents. 1.7580 0.01035 5603 2524 1911 1168
33 But enough about men... What of mice? 1.7542 0.01067 5306 2414 1782 1110
34 Now that we’re nice and cozy, let’s talk about giving away all of your children. 1.7514 0.01070 5615 2676 1659 1280
35 If you tell the dog, we're never doing this again. 1.7430 0.01035 5443 2465 1912 1066
36 So - are you ready to tell me what happened to the canary? 1.7385 0.00997 5626 2502 2093 1031
37 I appreciate your input, but I think it’s a little different when you only have one life. 1.7376 0.01321 3159 1394 1200 565
38 I've come to realize I find your indifference irresistible. 1.7356 0.01095 4755 2150 1712 893
39 To our dear friend Mr. Hamster, who left without saying goodbye. Or leaving a trace. 1.7323 0.01316 3332 1526 1172 634
40 No, it’s the same one, but I’ve had it reupholstered since your last visit. 1.7306 0.01230 3697 1666 1361 670
41 Not sure if mice are considered white meat or dark meat, but this fruity Rose goes with anything. 1.7300 0.01300 3345 1518 1212 615
42 Let's not tell the dog about this, okay? 1.7241 0.01218 3657 1635 1396 626
43 You liked the box it came in. 1.7205 0.01368 3206 1534 1034 638
44 So, I wanted to see how you felt about getting a dog. 1.7184 0.01126 4371 2000 1602 769
45 I can’t believe the dog still drinks out of a bowl 1.7163 0.02438 987 469 329 189
46 We need to talk. I've noticed you've been thinking outside the box. 1.7155 0.01323 3367 1607 1111 649
47 I saw the woman next door talking to her dog. She thinks he understands her. Weird, no? 1.7099 0.01419 2830 1338 976 516
48 Don't be ridiculous. You can't hide a pill in pinot. 1.7092 0.01395 3153 1559 952 642
49 I have a laser pointer if you like that kind of thing. 1.6923 0.01430 2766 1338 941 487
50 Try it, I know you’re curious. 1.6903 0.01455 2693 1314 899 480
51 So, I need to talk to you about my return to the office. 1.6855 0.01525 2531 1268 791 472
52 Well you don't exactly look like your pictures either! 1.6835 0.01511 2474 1214 829 431
53 Misty will be down soon. She takes forever to groom. 1.6829 0.01509 2327 1102 861 364
54 I know you want to tip it over but try it first. 1.6824 0.01520 2459 1213 814 432
55 I said it’s from a LITER box 1.6806 0.01635 2317 1205 647 465
56 I admit using Garfield’s picture on Tinder wasn’t ethical but we are having a lovely evening. 1.6702 0.01714 1862 917 642 303
57 The tuna is prominent, but the subtle hint of squid is quite surprising 1.6692 0.01696 1941 969 645 327
58 I just wanted to let you know we are getting a dog. 1.6667 0.01745 1836 921 606 309
59 I can't believe you've lived in the alley all these years and we've never done this 1.6640 0.01775 1762 884 586 292
60 I know I said I was 6’1” but you weren’t exactly honest in your profile, either. 1.6596 0.01927 1566 812 475 279
61 Like you, it's domestic. 1.6541 0.01856 1506 741 545 220
62 So, your profile pic was of you. 1.6499 0.02053 1414 755 399 260
63 Kitty knew then that she needed to delete the dating app. Once again, this was neither the glass of white nor the Tom she'd anticipated. 1.6498 0.02102 1385 751 368 266
64 Sure beats hair of the dog, don't it? 1.6476 0.02030 1277 640 447 190
65 Well, she got my house in Southampton, and I got you 1.6447 0.02108 1244 643 400 201
66 To his dismay, Fluffy realized his new adopter could not tell a Cabernet from a Merlot. 1.6390 0.02193 1241 675 339 227
67 Here's to eight more lives together, Felix. 1.6371 0.02158 1160 600 381 179
68 I thought we could put that neutering incident behind us. 1.6346 0.02245 1122 597 338 187
69 I know what you’re thinking, but it doesn’t breathe nearly as well in a saucer. 1.6336 0.02189 1179 628 355 196
70 So, when your profile said "cat person"... 1.6330 0.02211 1158 618 347 193
71 I think you're old enough to be told that you were adopted. 1.6328 0.02170 1163 612 367 184
72 Full disclosure, this is my first time pet sitting. 1.6306 0.02322 1026 543 319 164
73 The last time we did this, I woke up neutered. 1.6264 0.02493 1001 568 239 194
74 Fluffy is still getting ready. So what do you do for a living? 1.6213 0.02425 1006 560 267 179
75 I learned how to hold a wine glass without opposable thumbs and you couldn’t even spring for the good stuff? 1.6180 0.02454 958 529 266 163
76 I don’t know how to tell you this, but I think I’m a dog person 1.6178 0.02366 942 497 308 137
77 You may have begun to suspect -- I'm not your biological father. 1.6143 0.02416 923 495 289 139
78 I hate people too. 1.6143 0.02572 827 447 252 128
79 How many before you don't land on your feet? 1.6112 0.02658 805 446 226 133
80 You lead such interesting lives. 1.6087 0.02428 846 441 295 110
81 Perhaps you’d prefer the cork? 1.6083 0.02671 794 441 223 130
82 Glen had always known he was a ‘cat person,’ but somehow this was starting to feel like something more. 1.6078 0.02614 793 431 242 120
83 Wow! For something you just dragged in, it's delicious. 1.6075 0.02482 879 478 268 133
84 Now that we are cozy wozy, perhaps we could talk about what's happening to the back of the couch. 1.6049 0.02460 863 463 278 122
85 A few more of these and I might finally let you pet me… 1.6005 0.02546 836 460 250 126
86 So, what are your pronouns? 1.6003 0.02789 768 444 187 137
87 So then I tell Schrödinger, "Do I look dead to you?" And that was that. He moved his stuff out the next morning. 1.5981 0.02878 739 434 168 137
88 Isn't this better than knocking it onto the floor? 1.5970 0.02644 732 394 239 99
89 Is there EVER going to be a ‘right time’ to tell her you’re neutered, Buddy? 1.5961 0.02603 775 423 242 110
90 Its not you, its me. I guess deep down I've always been a dog person 1.5925 0.02785 665 362 212 91
91 It has notes of bird, mouse, and fish. 1.5894 0.02772 716 404 202 110
92 This is nice. All my ex ever wanted to do was play fetch. 1.5881 0.02843 670 376 194 100
93 The wine helps me pretend that you like me. 1.5803 0.02816 629 344 205 80
94 You'll notice it has tones of tuna, haddock and smelt. 1.5797 0.02740 709 400 207 102
95 So,you're saying I'm adopted? 1.5758 0.03002 561 314 173 74
96 You might think about updating your profile on the dating site to include the cat part. 1.5750 0.02986 593 336 173 84
97 It's interesting that our dating profile indicates that we both love Cats. 1.5749 0.02925 614 347 181 86
98 Okay, now that we're comfortable, it's time to tell me what happened to the hamster. 1.5737 0.03087 556 316 161 79
99 Don't take this the wrong way but the more I drink the more you look like a cat. 1.5727 0.03105 571 331 153 87
100 'Now, isn't this better than playing with the blinds?' 1.5679 0.03051 560 319 164 77
101 This will allow you to sleep more than 20 hours a day. 1.5674 0.02955 571 319 180 72
102 A bold palate of complex fruity structure with a hint of yarn. 1.5647 0.03090 556 321 156 79
103 When my roommate said he was getting me a little pussy for my birthday, well I had no idea… 1.5618 0.03276 534 321 126 87
104 Here's to life without the dog. 1.5607 0.03278 494 287 137 70
105 I hope you like wine. The dog drank all the beer. 1.5599 0.03272 459 258 145 56
106 The perfect Pinot to wash down a hairball 1.5595 0.03168 529 308 146 75
107 After 15 years of living together, I'm so happy you finally agreed to be friends. 1.5572 0.03347 481 283 128 70
108 So.. Fluffy what are your pronouns? 1.5569 0.03119 562 333 145 84
109 I hope you don’t think this is going to lead to petting. 1.5566 0.03207 521 306 140 75
110 You have to admit this is more interesting than playing with the cork. 1.5562 0.02925 552 307 183 62
111 No, really. You look great for being on your ninth life. 1.5548 0.03201 456 253 153 50
112 I know it seems bad now, but you’ll land on your feet. 1.5546 0.03330 467 273 130 64
113 So, tell me about your lives. 1.5530 0.03277 472 272 139 61
114 It's not you, I'm more of a dog person. 1.5461 0.03308 456 264 135 57
115 For the last time, there's no such thing as Catbernet. 1.5445 0.03054 551 324 154 73
116 It's a frisky blend. 1.5442 0.03251 498 296 133 69
117 Now isn’t this nicer than scratching the hell out of the couch? 1.5434 0.03365 438 257 127 54
118 I just don’t see myself spending the rest of my lives with you, Brad. 1.5411 0.03457 438 261 117 60
119 How long ago did you transition? 1.5411 0.03345 475 285 123 67
120 ...and now you know what being fixed means. 1.5396 0.03476 417 247 116 54
121 So, tell me all about one of your lives. 1.5392 0.03465 408 237 122 49
122 How do you feel about petting on first date? 1.5369 0.03390 447 266 122 59
123 Maybe next time don’t lick yourself for 10 minutes before trying the wine. 1.5360 0.03551 403 239 112 52
124 'would you like a table to push it off?' 1.5356 0.03537 435 266 105 64
125 So what are you looking for in an owner? 1.5351 0.03620 385 228 108 49
126 I love cats - I've always been drawn to abusive relationships. 1.5326 0.03321 475 287 123 65
127 It’s ok, you’ll land on your feet. 1.5312 0.03591 384 227 110 47
128 So I said to the Genie, how about a little pussy? 1.5289 0.03950 380 244 71 65
129 So, no hard feelings about that neutering thing? 1.5286 0.03696 367 219 102 46
130 His lips are moving, but the only voice I hear is the one inside my head telling me to claw his damn couch. 1.5284 0.03504 405 241 114 50
131 So I've been catnip-free for about a month now... 1.5284 0.03301 458 273 128 57
132 I want to talk about your trip to the vet tomorrow. 1.5276 0.03376 434 258 123 53
133 Would you like to see my ball of yarn? 1.5276 0.03613 381 227 107 47
134 It's in the basement at the foot of the stairs. You can't miss it. 1.5270 0.03719 408 257 87 64
135 The moment Mr. McFluffins realized Nate needed more friends. 1.5242 0.03675 393 242 96 55
136 I'm sure you'll like this more than anything they may have served at the shelter. 1.5238 0.03378 420 248 124 48
137 I thought we might share a glass of pinot and talk like civilized adults about who really owns this sofa. 1.5225 0.03794 377 235 87 55
138 My dog doesn’t understand me. 1.5223 0.03594 381 228 107 46
139 Come, slide over. I promise - no petting. 1.5199 0.03560 402 245 105 52
140 You sip it, you don't knock it off tables 1.5171 0.04046 321 199 78 44
141 I may have misunderstood when you called yourself a cat lady in your dating profile. 1.5159 0.03961 345 217 78 50
142 Roll it around your tongue like it's a pill. 1.5157 0.03523 413 259 98 56
143 It's called Cabernet Schrödinger - it's both red and white. 1.5151 0.03833 365 229 84 52
144 Well thanks for coming by. I have a couple more cats to see before I decide who to rescue. 1.5145 0.03931 346 217 80 49
145 Hair of the dog is just an expression. 1.5134 0.03621 372 225 103 44
146 I identify as feline 1.5124 0.04037 322 201 77 44
147 This is a lot better than bringing me a dead bird. 1.5117 0.03857 342 211 87 44
148 'Hair of the dog' is a figurative term. 1.5111 0.03877 315 189 91 35
149 ... But enough about me. Tell me what you've done with YOUR lives. 1.5091 0.03747 330 197 98 35
150 You said you would if I tried catnip. 1.5072 0.03674 345 207 101 37
151 Your rodent control proposal has some merit, but we need to discuss the part about leaving them in my shoes. 1.5070 0.03698 359 220 96 43
152 Yes, it tastes a bit 'mousy.' I thought you'd like it." 1.5068 0.03596 367 222 104 41
153 It's just that lately, you've been distant. 1.5055 0.03576 364 219 106 39
154 If you need to powder your nose, the box is in the kitchen. 1.5046 0.03901 329 204 84 41
155 Tell me more about some of your lives. 1.5031 0.03902 318 195 86 37
156 Would you prefer to play with the cork? 1.5029 0.03923 342 217 78 47
157 I'm getting blackberry, mineral... and is that... notes of tuna? 1.5026 0.03510 388 237 107 44
158 I’m sorry, I feel like I’ve been doing all the talking. 1.5000 0.04089 296 184 76 36
159 I know people like you, first a few drinks, then some heavy petting. 1.5000 0.03935 348 224 74 50
160 Honestly, you look nothing like your profile photo. 1.4985 0.03798 341 212 88 41
161 You don’t look anything like your picture! 1.4985 0.03612 341 209 97 35
162 If you want to stay over, I have an extra pile of clean laundry. 1.4970 0.03945 332 211 77 44
163 I don’t know how to break this to you, but I just heard I ‘ll be to going back to the office 1.4964 0.04172 280 174 73 33
164 Oh, you misunderstood: it didn't come from THAT kind of box. 1.4957 0.03697 345 212 95 38
165 You're finally old enough to know that....you were adopted. 1.4955 0.03755 335 208 89 38
166 I'm glad we can discuss the litter box protocols like adults 1.4954 0.03781 329 204 88 37
167 I take it that the red wine means we’re not having fish? 1.4953 0.03937 317 198 81 38
168 Well actually we don't call it the 'hair of the dog' until the next day. 1.4951 0.03952 307 190 82 35
169 So your profile said you were a cougar? 1.4950 0.04140 299 190 70 39
170 So you’re the eldest of eighteen. What’s that been like? 1.4945 0.04057 273 165 81 27
171 I usually get bottled wine but I thought you might like to play in the empty box afterwards. 1.4913 0.04096 287 179 75 33
172 I never thought of myself as a cat person, but here we are! 1.4912 0.03902 285 171 88 26
173 It's fine. You're 33 in cat years. 1.4912 0.04199 283 179 69 35
174 Steve’s practice dates are leaving Mittens confused. 1.4901 0.04028 302 190 76 36
175 Have you always been domestic? 1.4884 0.03753 301 180 95 26
176 Don’t be nervous….I have never dated outside my species either. 1.4883 0.03859 299 182 88 29
177 Listen,the last two years have been great, but I’m returning to the office. 1.4864 0.03906 294 180 85 29
178 I’m surprised you came over when I called 1.4855 0.04400 276 181 56 39
179 Don’t be like that. You knew the lockdown wouldn’t last forever. 1.4851 0.03822 303 185 89 29
180 So you're saying you only swiped right because you were chasing a laser? 1.4848 0.04050 328 216 65 47
181 Do you want to stay in or go out? 1.4845 0.03995 291 181 79 31
182 So we're agreed. I'll return the puppy, and you'll stop scratching the furniture. 1.4841 0.04150 252 153 76 23
183 I love that we can tell each other anything. 1.4839 0.04159 248 150 76 22
184 I’m thinking about getting another human 1.4834 0.04111 271 168 75 28
185 Next time we can try it your way and use the saucers. 1.4830 0.04137 294 189 68 37
186 The truth? I liked you better as a kitten. 1.4824 0.04262 255 159 69 27
187 So tell me more about your third life. 1.4823 0.03887 311 195 82 34
188 I mean, I did say 'cat person' on my profile. 1.4818 0.03764 303 184 92 27
189 Care for some Goldfish crackers? 1.4818 0.03746 330 206 89 35
190 Pairs well with Friskies 1.4817 0.03782 301 185 88 28
191 It’s boxed wine. I know how much you love boxes. 1.4816 0.03887 299 185 84 30
192 I agree. Necks are only necessary for wine bottles. 1.4809 0.04139 314 208 61 45
193 My last cat couldn’t hold his liquor 1.4793 0.04063 290 184 73 33
194 I have to say,cat-sitting is much nicer than I’d anticipated. 1.4784 0.04769 232 153 47 32
195 So your profile said you were really into yarn. 1.4784 0.03810 301 185 88 28
196 Gee, we have so much in common. We both like wine, & neither of us has a neck. 1.4766 0.04321 256 163 64 29
197 Everyone lies on their dating profile a little… 1.4754 0.04401 244 155 62 27
198 Take a sip, swirl it around your mouth. Then hack it up. 1.4754 0.04076 305 199 67 39
199 Let's be honest. This was never a book club. 1.4753 0.04201 263 166 69 28
200 Couch is nice but I prefer the box this wine came in. 1.4748 0.04403 238 152 60 26
201 Yes, I agree, once you finally catch the laser dot, what do you have? Nothing. 1.4741 0.04348 270 177 58 35
202 Let's drink to friendship. And not shredding my new sofa. 1.4739 0.04299 230 141 69 20
203 It pairs nicely with Fancy Feast Ocean Whitefish. 1.4733 0.04066 281 182 67 32
204 Would you prefer that we sit in a cardboard box? 1.4727 0.04248 256 162 67 27
205 I appreciate your taste in wine. All dogs want to do is drink beer. 1.4722 0.04185 252 157 71 24
206 It’s not you. I’ve just realized I’m more of a dog person. 1.4720 0.03736 322 202 88 32
207 No one's ever asked before to sleep with me on the first date. 1.4708 0.03885 308 196 79 33
208 You're very perceceptive -- I DO come from a family of Russian nesting dolls! 1.4698 0.04608 232 154 49 29
209 -“I don’t get the dog thing either”. 1.4698 0.04188 281 183 64 34
210 Sorry, I thought you said nightcap, not catnip. 1.4688 0.04141 288 188 65 35
211 You lied about your height on your profile. 1.4688 0.04211 256 162 68 26
212 This one goes well with fish. 1.4684 0.04230 269 174 64 31
213 So tell me, what’s new pussycat..? 1.4683 0.04405 252 164 58 30
214 If you were a dog, you’d fetch me another drink. 1.4661 0.04381 251 163 59 29
215 This wine pairs well with wet or dry food. 1.4661 0.04525 251 167 51 33
216 My wine friends say it's cat piss, but I wanted an informed opinion. 1.4641 0.04533 237 155 54 28
217 I too am not fond of people. 1.4636 0.04115 261 165 71 25
218 A toast! Here's to the new screen door. 1.4620 0.03930 303 196 74 33
219 Would you feel more comfortable if we had this drink while relaxing on the window sill? 1.4615 0.04016 260 162 76 22
220 All my other online dates have been dogs. 1.4606 0.04269 254 164 63 27
221 You looked different in your profile picture. 1.4596 0.04050 285 185 69 31
222 Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a neck? 1.4595 0.04279 259 169 61 29
223 Here's to your 9th and final life! 1.4591 0.04061 281 182 69 30
224 The stress of sleeping all day would get to anyone. 1.4583 0.04184 264 171 65 28
225 Something you want to tell me about Tweety? 1.4575 0.04356 247 161 59 27
226 I know that I wrote cat lover on my profile. 1.4567 0.04008 289 188 70 31
227 And that's where kittens come from" 1.4560 0.04354 250 164 58 28
228 You don't look anything like your profile picture. 1.4558 0.04480 226 146 57 23
229 When you said "unwind" I thought you meant the yarn ball. 1.4553 0.04053 246 153 74 19
230 I've decided you're old enough to know you're adopted. 1.4545 0.04238 220 136 68 16
231 See, this is why you shouldn’t knock it off the table. 1.4545 0.04042 264 168 72 24
232 Isn't this better than knocking it over? 1.4542 0.04036 251 157 74 20
233 When I replied to CatLady294, I thought I’d be meeting with the lady! 1.4539 0.04103 271 181 60 30
234 You’re slightly hairier than your profile photo. 1.4534 0.04317 247 161 60 26
235 The dog only drinks gin. 1.4531 0.04348 256 170 56 30
236 I'm not sure of the vintage in cat years. 1.4531 0.04380 245 163 54 28
237 It pairs well with cheap fish 1.4530 0.03889 298 193 75 30
238 It's okay. I'm not allowed on the couch either. 1.4529 0.04655 223 148 49 26
239 Now that you're sitting down, we're getting a dog. 1.4519 0.04578 239 161 48 30
240 It still feels strange to be doing this without masks. 1.4509 0.04595 224 148 51 25
241 It's "an earthy cat-bernet with hints of field mouse". 1.4506 0.04166 253 166 62 25
242 Oh, you're a lefty, too. 1.4505 0.04602 202 129 55 18
243 You weren’t kidding when you said you’re a cat person 1.4500 0.04524 240 161 50 29
244 I thought perhaps it was time that we talk about your birth parents. 1.4496 0.04271 238 153 63 22
245 We need to wrap this up. The dogs will be here soon for poker. 1.4494 0.04238 247 160 63 24
246 You look nothing like your profile picture. 1.4469 0.04563 226 150 51 25
247 Have you told your dog about us? 1.4467 0.04234 244 158 63 23
248 Can you taste the soft and subtle hint of catnip? 1.4463 0.04095 242 153 70 19
249 Here’s to life, all 9 of them. 1.4462 0.04263 251 165 60 26
250 You see. We don't need to go out to have a good time. 1.4459 0.04303 222 141 63 18
251 I guess what I’m trying to say is, sometimes I’d like my belly rubbed too. 1.4458 0.04250 249 163 61 25
252 I don't believe in heavy petting on the first date. 1.4457 0.03979 276 179 71 26
253 Well, yes, my profile did say, "Cats okay." 1.4455 0.04654 220 147 48 25
254 I'd rather have the box it came in. 1.4450 0.04845 191 125 47 19
255 My last cat just let me pet him. 1.4444 0.04435 216 139 58 19
256 We need to talk about your drinking and my upholstery. 1.4437 0.04023 284 188 66 30
257 Apricot? Really? I'm tasting hints of tuna and mouse. 1.4432 0.03965 264 171 70 23
258 I wanted to take this moment to tell you that,starting tomorrow,I will be going back to the office. 1.4430 0.04196 237 152 65 20
259 You see? The sofa can be for more than just scratching. 1.4430 0.04066 237 149 71 17
260 Better to find out she’s a dog person now. 1.4426 0.04111 244 156 68 20
261 And so, Binxy, another cat will soon be joining our family. 1.4418 0.04285 249 165 58 26
262 I wanted to talk about what happened to Tweety. 1.4416 0.04445 231 153 54 24
263 I thought you were bringing the cheese. 1.4393 0.04654 214 143 48 23
264 So my second wish was that my cat could hold a wine glass, and my third wish was that neither of us would have necks. Pretty cool, right? 1.4388 0.04522 237 161 48 28
265 The litter box is around the corner, first door on your left. 1.4388 0.04695 196 128 50 18
266 So, do you still identify as Persian? 1.4387 0.04589 212 140 51 21
267 I wouldn’t dream of clipping your nails. Have another glass. 1.4384 0.04987 203 140 37 26
268 This one is more full-bodied with notes of rodent. 1.4384 0.04482 219 144 54 21
269 If we're being honest, I'm really more of a dog person. 1.4380 0.04173 242 157 64 21
270 Don't tell the dog 1.4375 0.04176 224 142 66 16
271 It’s not drinking alone if the cat is home! 1.4375 0.04400 240 161 53 26
272 OK, so you've got the wine. Now will you tell me where my keys are? 1.4359 0.04523 234 159 48 27
273 It is a Chardonnay but it goes equally well with fish or birds. 1.4359 0.04230 234 152 62 20
274 Would you be okay with some heavy petting? 1.4357 0.04246 280 194 50 36
275 So what's your preferred pronoun? 1.4356 0.04657 225 159 37 29
276 So to summarize, I will no longer be working from home, and so you will have to learn to entertain yourself from now on. 1.4352 0.04619 216 145 48 23
277 Really? I was adopted, too! 1.4350 0.04791 177 114 49 14
278 I’m sorry about the whole declawing fiasco but isn’t this a much nicer way to enjoy the couch? 1.4350 0.04733 200 133 47 20
279 It's gonna take way more than a glass to get me on that lap. 1.4341 0.04750 205 138 45 22
280 I got some bad news from my allergist. 1.4339 0.05045 189 129 38 22
281 You had me at meow. 1.4336 0.04577 226 156 43 27
282 It's going to take your mind off that laser. 1.4330 0.04553 194 127 51 16
283 I almost regret swatting the rest of the bottle off the countertop. 1.4328 0.04303 238 160 54 24
284 There are some things you just can't do with a dog. 1.4324 0.04086 259 171 64 24
285 In a stroke of desperate brilliance, the animal shelter decided to host speed fostering every Saturday night. 1.4318 0.04555 220 148 49 23
286 We have to move the litter box to another room and I just wanted to inform you before you heard from anyone else.” 1.4317 0.04181 227 146 64 17
287 What pronoun do you prefer? 1.4316 0.04911 190 128 42 20
288 So you were born here, but your parents are Persian? 1.4315 0.04728 197 131 47 19
289 It’s time we talk about your plans to go back to work. I can’t take you working from home anymore. 1.4310 0.04118 232 149 66 17
290 I know we're 'buddies' Richard, but I have my own life too. Can't you go to a bar and try to meet some humans? 1.4309 0.04401 188 118 59 11
291 I thought more people would turn up. 1.4308 0.04593 195 127 52 16
292 Would you prefer a dish? 1.4307 0.04643 202 134 49 19
293 So...SWF meant single white feline. 1.4301 0.04508 193 124 55 14
294 I just wanted to talk to you about what you think you saw last night. 1.4293 0.04593 205 136 50 19
295 A couple more drinks, and you will be ready to go to the V - E - T. 1.4286 0.04618 238 167 40 31
296 Yes, you thrill me. But so does the idea of selling you nine life insurance policies... 1.4286 0.04760 210 144 42 24
297 See? There are other ways to enjoy the couch. 1.4286 0.04049 252 165 66 21
298 Can you believe the quarantine ended and we’re finally back to normal? 1.4286 0.05243 182 127 32 23
299 …so anyway- turns out, it wasn’t the quarantine that was keeping her away 1.4271 0.05089 192 134 34 24
300 The clerk at the wine shop said this bottle was best enjoyed after a Fancy Feast. 1.4262 0.04738 183 120 48 15
301 Now, isn’t this better than clawing the sofa? 1.4261 0.04275 230 152 58 20
302 More 'Chat Eau' than 'Chateau', if you ask me. 1.4260 0.04551 223 152 47 24
303 And then she said, rather helpfully, I thought, ‘You don’t need me—you need a cat!’ 1.4252 0.04737 214 148 41 25
304 Don't fret…it's one of a million catnip videos - I doubt it'll go viral. 1.4242 0.04651 198 132 48 18
305 ...you are adopted 1.4242 0.04595 198 131 50 17
306 I didn't know this is what you meant when you said you were a Cat-person 1.4241 0.04400 224 150 53 21
307 We actually don't use that term anymore, we now say "Plus-size" Cat 1.4231 0.04167 208 146 45 17
308 I know, some people go crazy living alone. 1.4231 0.04692 208 142 44 22
309 Your profile said you were a cat person." 1.4229 0.04533 227 156 46 25
310 It’s just to take the sting out of spaying. 1.4228 0.03908 246 158 72 16
311 I asked you if I could go out. I didn't ask you out. 1.4222 0.04658 180 117 50 13
312 I just think a dog would be really good for us. 1.4213 0.04467 216 145 51 20
313 This is a bit embarrassing, but could I use your litter box? 1.4211 0.04624 209 142 46 21
314 I used to be a cat. These days I identify as species-fluid. 1.4202 0.04882 188 128 41 19
315 just act normally when they come in 1.4197 0.04675 193 129 47 17
316 Try it. It’s like liquid catnip. 1.4192 0.04282 229 153 56 20
317 Is it too soon to talk about my past lives? 1.4190 0.04299 210 137 58 15
318 why did we wait so long to do this? 1.4183 0.04433 208 138 53 17
319 See how much better evenings can be when we don't knock things off the table 1.4181 0.05038 177 121 38 18
320 Steve couldn’t understand what everyone else was complaining about; the pandemic hadn’t changed his social plans at all. 1.4178 0.04460 213 143 51 19
321 Do you taste the mousy notes? 1.4178 0.04289 225 150 56 19
322 Why not? You only live nine. 1.4174 0.04239 218 143 59 16
323 yes, the box is yours after the last drink 1.4167 0.04861 192 132 40 20
324 You spill it, you lick it. 1.4167 0.04605 216 151 41 24
325 You know you’re not allowed on the couch 1.4151 0.04472 212 143 50 19
326 I find your indifference intoxicating. 1.4144 0.04327 222 149 54 19
327 The shelter did say we should get to know each other first 1.4143 0.04502 210 142 49 19
328 To be honest with you, I never did this when I had a dog. 1.4140 0.04475 215 146 49 20
329 What about you? Has the pandemic affected your social life? 1.4138 0.05032 174 119 38 17
330 Bella contemplated her Mousecadet as Gerry patted the sofa between them. She could see where this was heading, and maybe she should have made some excuse after the restaurant, but that scratch under her chin at the front door had been so good... 1.4136 0.04820 191 131 41 19
331 Here's to you being consistently more affectionate than my children. 1.4131 0.04200 213 141 57 15
332 Okay, you have your wine, and we’re sitting down. Now tell me – what did you do with the dog? 1.4128 0.04334 218 146 54 18
333 I feel really bad for the guy who has to read these captions. 1.4127 0.05138 189 135 30 24
334 You might be right, maybe I should start leaving the house more. 1.4126 0.04350 206 136 55 15
335 So tell me, what's new in your lives? 1.4126 0.04312 223 150 54 19
336 This would pair nicely with some canned tuna 1.4126 0.04312 223 150 54 19
337 Oh, no, this'll be a totally classy video. Your viewers will love it. Can you fall into a toilet, or ride a Roomba? 1.4123 0.04331 211 140 55 16
338 When I said that I wanted "a little pussy," this isn't exactly what I meant. 1.4121 0.05043 199 143 30 26
339 It's nice to socialize again. 1.4118 0.04153 204 131 62 11
340 This particular Cab pairs well with Friskies. 1.4118 0.04339 221 149 53 19
341 Isn't its better to SIT on the couch rather than scratching the hell out of the BACK of the couch!? 1.4115 0.04446 192 126 53 13
342 I think it's time we discuss the bathroom situation 1.4113 0.04249 231 161 48 22
343 Cat: "I love you so much, I can't live without you." Man: "Is that you or the wine talking?" Cat: "It's me talking to the wine." 1.4106 0.04893 207 148 33 26
344 I want to thank you for being there for me during the quarantine but it's time for me to start dating within my own species again. 1.4105 0.04719 190 129 44 17
345 I can’t believe we BOTH dated Garfield. 1.4104 0.04664 212 148 41 23
346 It's like liquid catnip 1.4086 0.03939 257 172 65 20
347 I've invited you here to discuss the intended purpose of a couch. 1.4084 0.05039 191 136 32 23
348 I am glad we had this chat. The pandemic is over and I want the house back. 1.4083 0.04995 169 115 39 15
349 Feeling frisky? 1.4080 0.04823 174 117 43 14
350 It’s nice to meet someone else who’s interested in just curling up on the couch on a Friday night 1.4078 0.04987 179 124 37 18
351 It's not you, it's me. I thought this would work, but it turns out I'm more of a dog person. 1.4074 0.04674 189 134 37 18
352 It’s not drinking alone when I’m with you 1.4072 0.04520 221 154 44 23
353 Let’s make a toast to your first day of being weaned off catnip. 1.4072 0.05241 194 143 23 28
354 It beats milk, doesn't it? 1.4069 0.04289 231 158 52 21
355 I thought you said the rest of the cats would be here. 1.4066 0.04737 182 125 41 16
356 After this let’s shred the couch. 1.4057 0.04936 175 120 39 16
357 It does indeed smell like cat piss. Glad you like it. 1.4057 0.04562 212 147 44 21
358 Want to know why the dog left? 1.4056 0.04964 180 125 37 18
359 So about the other cat 1.4056 0.04773 180 122 43 15
360 We need to talk about me going back into the office… 1.4049 0.04302 205 136 55 14
361 Which of your nine lives are we celebrating? 1.4048 0.04338 210 141 53 16
362 Sorry, no catnip. Supply chain issues. 1.4044 0.04386 183 119 54 10
363 The dog and I are in an open relationship." 1.4040 0.04632 198 136 44 18
364 Soul mate, spirit animal, I don't know - but there's a reason we both came to this party. 1.4033 0.04942 181 126 37 18
365 It reminded me of you…soft and complex. 1.4033 0.04752 181 123 43 15
366 This way no one can say I drink alone. 1.4032 0.04904 186 130 37 19
367 When you wrote in your profile you were a cat person, you should have used a hyphen 1.4031 0.04867 191 134 37 20
368 Would you rather I poured it in the toilet? 1.4029 0.04656 206 144 41 21
369 You've been my cat for years and yet we never talk. 1.4025 0.04897 159 106 42 11
370 I'm so tired of all the 'Not a cat person...' profiles 1.4022 0.04518 179 118 50 11
371 Pretend there’s a goldfish in it. 1.4011 0.04956 177 123 37 17
372 So you’re the cat-sitter. 1.4011 0.04408 177 115 53 9
373 Dry cherries, oak, with just a hint of rodent. 1.4011 0.04919 182 127 37 18
374 Now that you know how to sit on a sofa, I think it’s time for you to learn how to drink from a glass. 1.4010 0.04398 202 136 51 15
375 I'm so glad you walked across that keyboard." 1.4000 0.04319 225 155 50 20
376 So, I’ve been meaning to tell you…I had your reproductive organs removed when you were young. 1.4000 0.04413 215 148 48 19
377 Here's to always landing on your feet. 1.4000 0.05306 155 108 32 15
378 It's good for loosening the cat's-got-your-tongue. 1.4000 0.04564 195 133 46 16
379 Goldfish water, tuna oil, one ice cube and a twist of houseplant. Your fave. 1.3991 0.04464 218 152 45 21
380 'No petting on the first date,' gotcha. 1.3990 0.04457 198 134 49 15
381 You know, we can never tell the dog about this. 1.3989 0.04621 188 128 45 15
382 I doubt anyone will watch a bunch of stupid cat videos on YouTube. You need a better plan if you want to become an influencer. 1.3976 0.05396 166 120 26 20
383 No, no. 'Hair of the dog' is just an expression. 1.3973 0.05187 146 99 36 11
384 So you're a wild party animal trapped in a domestic cat's body. 1.3972 0.04919 141 92 42 7
385 A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and meow. 1.3971 0.04418 204 139 49 16
386 It's okay, all of my first dates are awkward. 1.3967 0.04689 184 126 43 15
387 So,what IS the “cats meow”? 1.3966 0.04580 179 120 47 12
388 I am sorry to tell you that I am transitioning to being a dog person. 1.3966 0.04810 174 119 41 14
389 So, I wanted to apologize for neutering you earlier. 1.3966 0.05144 174 124 31 19
390 Box wines get a bad rap, but I'll let you play with it when we're done. 1.3962 0.04248 212 143 54 15
391 I know what you're thinking and yes this is a new couch. 1.3956 0.04788 182 126 40 16
392 A toast to your good health; nine times. 1.3951 0.04401 205 140 49 16
393 Bon Chat! 1.3951 0.04346 205 139 51 15
394 It’s so great that we don’t have to wear masks anymore and things are back to normal 1.3946 0.04973 185 132 33 20
395 …and then my therapist said I should really get out more. 1.3943 0.04788 175 120 41 14
396 Now can I trim your nails? 1.3938 0.05101 160 111 35 14
397 Tough day in the rat race? 1.3935 0.04292 216 148 51 17
398 Since you are already here ... would you mind having a look at the mice problem in the attic? 1.3925 0.04391 186 124 51 11
399 My last blind date turned out to be a real dog. 1.3924 0.05145 158 110 34 14
400 I'm what you'd call a cat person, too. 1.3923 0.04738 181 125 41 15
401 It's nice to get a minute without the dogs. 1.3920 0.04627 176 119 45 12
402 I know you’re not broken, Mittens. Being fixed is just a figure of speech. Have more wine while I explain it. 1.3911 0.05092 179 129 30 20
403 I’m done with dogs. They tell you they’re your best friend and then you learn they say that to everyone.” 1.3910 0.05270 156 110 31 15
404 So do you have my tongue or not? 1.3910 0.05424 156 112 27 17
405 Hmmm I never realized you were a lefty 1.3904 0.04502 187 127 47 13
406 You want to let the wine breathe and take small sips… THEN knock the glass onto the floor with indifference. 1.3900 0.04472 200 138 46 16
407 But he said the French Rosé pairs well with tuna. 1.3899 0.04057 218 146 59 13
408 And then we’re gonna have chocolate mouse for desert… 1.3899 0.04407 218 153 45 20
409 On the internet, no one knows I’m a cat 1.3895 0.05113 172 123 31 18
410 So I said, I know cats are socially aloof, but they really know their wines 1.3895 0.04696 190 133 40 17
411 Sure, kicking the catnip habit is worth celebrating but it's your drinking that concerns me." 1.3892 0.04403 185 124 50 11
412 My first cat was a beer drinker. 1.3889 0.05049 162 113 35 14
413 Because all the people I had invited tested positive. 1.3885 0.04845 139 91 42 6
414 I thought you said twine tasting 1.3883 0.04431 206 143 46 17
415 So, how long have you been a cat? 1.3883 0.04608 188 130 43 15
416 It's fine, hair of the dog is just an expression 1.3880 0.04632 183 126 43 14
417 Wait! So you literally were at sea with an owl in a pea-green boat? 1.3878 0.05327 147 103 31 13
418 Just friends, OK? 1.3876 0.04300 178 117 53 8
419 This may be a bit of a shock, but your old enough to know, I am not your biological father. 1.3876 0.04789 178 124 39 15
420 OK, so you’ve been asking where did the kittens go... 1.3876 0.04586 178 121 45 12
421 It’s not a break up, but more of a “I’m tired of cleaning litter boxes”. 1.3871 0.04384 186 125 50 11
422 You’re the only cat who hasn’t made me feel completely unworthy. 1.3869 0.04310 199 135 51 13
423 Know any good dog jokes? 1.3865 0.04871 163 112 39 12
424 It's not about the dead birds, it's about how the dead birds make me feel. Can we just acknowledge that? 1.3865 0.04196 207 140 54 13
425 Just to be up front--I'm not into petting. 1.3851 0.04654 174 119 43 12
426 Brian, I don’t know how to tell you this but I’m moving out… and I’m taking the couch 1.3851 0.04435 174 116 49 9
427 I just thought I’d be further along by my sixth life. 1.3850 0.04559 187 131 41 15
428 So you say that your veterinarian actually recommends a nightly glass of red? 1.3846 0.05261 156 111 30 15
429 It's not you..it's me, I've discovered I'm a dog person 1.3846 0.04748 169 116 41 12
430 So...the cat in the hat was your ex? 1.3846 0.05429 143 101 29 13
431 You do know you're going to wake up at the Vet? 1.3841 0.05387 151 108 28 15
432 Sorry, I only put a goldfish in the martinis. 1.3837 0.05106 172 124 30 18
433 If dogs can play poker then cats can drink wine. 1.3832 0.04860 167 116 38 13
434 Forgive me for being rude but, you don't look anything like your photo. 1.3824 0.05347 170 126 23 21
435 Didn’t I tell you? Lounging on the couch with a glass of wine is much nicer than shredding it with your claws. 1.3822 0.04364 191 135 41 15
436 Here's to eight more lives together. 1.3816 0.04408 207 145 45 17
437 You know, there are a lot of captions for this that wouldn't be appropriate for the New Yorker caption contest. 1.3813 0.05536 139 99 27 13
438 OK, the wine isn't great but wait 'til you see the box! 1.3807 0.04786 197 143 33 21
439 Trust me, nobody drinks milk anymore. 1.3804 0.04862 163 113 38 12
440 Red is with rat. White is with mouse. 1.3803 0.05263 142 99 32 11
441 Just don’t tell the dog. 1.3800 0.05065 150 104 35 11
442 Thanks for your support. I just don’t like drinking alone. 1.3800 0.05153 150 105 33 12
443 Again, my apologies for the unfortunate remark regarding your curiosity… 1.3799 0.04488 179 122 46 11
444 The dog prefers to drink from the toilet. 1.3797 0.05282 158 114 28 16
445 I used to drink alone. 1.3797 0.04737 187 133 37 17
446 This is the one time you're allowed on the couch. 1.3793 0.04356 203 141 47 15
447 You're lucky. They didn't let me on the sofa until I was 28. 1.3793 0.04787 174 122 38 14
448 It's safe. Drink up. Be curious. 1.3791 0.04504 182 125 45 12
449 It’s called pusseco. 1.3789 0.04980 161 113 35 13
450 It's preferable to the hot tin roof. 1.3789 0.05134 161 115 31 15
451 So, what about me made you swipe right? 1.3786 0.05116 140 96 35 9
452 I thought maybe we could talk a bit before we cuddle 1.3785 0.04520 177 123 42 12
453 ..so I was having trouble with my mouse at work today - 1.3782 0.04327 193 134 46 13
454 It's okay. I don't mind doing all the talking. 1.3782 0.04927 156 108 37 11
455 It's like catnip, but better. 1.3782 0.05010 156 109 35 12
456 I never understood a single word he said but I helped him drink his wine 1.3780 0.06013 127 93 20 14
457 Drinking wine and feline fine. 1.3779 0.04607 172 118 43 11
458 It's complex. Just like you. 1.3778 0.04537 180 124 44 12
459 Sorry, I’m all out of milk. 1.3774 0.04521 159 106 46 7
460 They say you should never drink alone so thanks for doing this 1.3769 0.05597 130 92 27 11
461 You're attractive but your personal ad did not mention "neutered". 1.3767 0.05156 146 102 33 11
462 So, how about that Andrew Lloyd Webber? 1.3767 0.05156 146 102 33 11
463 It’s finally happened. We’ve become one of those couples that look alike. 1.3767 0.05064 146 101 35 10
464 You knew he was a dog when you married him. 1.3765 0.04955 162 114 35 13
465 I asked for catnip, not a nightcap. 1.3765 0.04642 170 119 39 12
466 Do you have any more questions before moving in? 1.3764 0.04638 178 124 41 13
467 I feel like while I'm out working, you're just lying around the house all day. 1.3764 0.04904 178 128 33 17
468 Here’s to you! You found the litter box! 1.3758 0.04900 149 102 38 9
469 No, I meant the wine was a full-bodied domestic. 1.3758 0.05145 157 112 31 14
470 I wanted to thank you for the bird in my shoe. 1.3758 0.05145 157 112 31 14
471 We're good together. The dog would only drink beer. 1.3757 0.04870 173 123 35 15
472 Is this supposed to make up for you adopting a dog during the pandemic? 1.3750 0.04836 160 113 35 12
473 I'm actually more of a dog person, but I'm trying to be less judgmental. 1.3750 0.04923 152 105 37 10
474 It's ok because we're not drinking alone. 1.3750 0.04923 152 105 37 10
475 I thought we'd talk about that rat in the attic. 1.3750 0.04700 192 138 36 18
476 We really do have a lot in common, you and I. Take necks, for example. 1.3742 0.04852 163 114 37 12
477 I added a little toilet water like you asked. 1.3742 0.05349 155 113 26 16
478 You know, I’m really starting to think Vicky leaving is the best thing that could’ve happened to us 1.3741 0.05429 139 99 28 12
479 It’s not you, I just think after 5 booster shots we should see other people. 1.3735 0.05086 166 120 30 16
480 A case of Merlot to not scratch up the sofa sounds reasonable. 1.3734 0.04958 158 111 35 12
481 So a dog, a cat and a mouse walk into a bar… 1.3734 0.05078 158 115 28 15
482 After ten years of living together I still don't know anything about you. 1.3733 0.04687 150 101 42 7
483 Don’t worry, it’s not that strong. You won’t lose your apathy toward everything.” 1.3733 0.05313 150 108 28 14
484 You may appreciate the notes of catnip and salmon. 1.3731 0.04652 201 146 35 20
485 What exactly makes you think I can’t handle being an outdoor cat? 1.3731 0.04599 201 145 37 19
486 I lied during the lockdown, I don't really have human friends to hang out with 1.3731 0.04443 193 138 40 15
487 My mom keeps saying I need to get out more. 1.3725 0.04043 204 142 50 12
488 ‘It’s supposed to pair well with mice and impending doom.’ 1.3723 0.04828 188 137 32 19
489 This is the most normal day of my life in the past two years. 1.3721 0.05090 172 126 28 18
490 Here’s to our next video 1.3721 0.04954 172 124 32 16
491 Doesn't this feel better than scratching the couch? 1.3709 0.04305 213 151 45 17
492 Is it wrong to celebrate two years of never leaving the apartment? 1.3706 0.04829 143 97 39 7
493 You're Petfinder profile said "sophisticated," but isn't this a bit much? 1.3706 0.04557 170 120 40 10
494 You definitely don't look like your profile picture. 1.3704 0.05022 162 116 32 14
495 She's gone, you're in. Any questions? 1.3699 0.04721 173 122 38 13
496 Of course, you would also have full access to the fish tank. 1.3699 0.05052 146 104 31 11
497 So, how's lives? 1.3698 0.04454 192 135 43 14
498 They said it pairs well with mice. 1.3697 0.04726 165 115 39 11
499 Pretend you don't live here, and we're on a date. 1.3697 0.04804 165 116 37 12
500 My therapist suggested I start sharing my interests with those closest to me. 1.3692 0.05895 130 96 20 14
501 I didn't know you were left-handed... 1.3691 0.05246 149 107 29 13
502 Yes, it goes well with fish! 1.3687 0.04744 160 114 36 10
503 Try not to cough it up 1.3684 0.04757 171 121 37 13
504 Real Italian leather. Go ahead and give it a scratch. 1.3684 0.04684 171 120 39 12
505 I do appreciate you letting me sit on the sofa. 1.3678 0.04555 174 121 42 11
506 It was all fun and games until someone moved their hand on the couch 1.3676 0.05404 136 97 28 11
507 Wait, you're not one of those cougars, are you? 1.3672 0.04711 177 126 37 14
508 We could always adopt. 1.3672 0.05305 128 89 31 8
509 She said now that quarantine is over I need to stop "anthropomorphizing" you. 1.3671 0.05263 158 116 26 16
510 Man: So, how was your day? Cat: Don’t go in the kitchen. 1.3671 0.04865 158 111 36 11
511 You saw her petting who? 1.3667 0.04450 180 125 44 11
512 I don’t see it as fostering so much as hosting. 1.3664 0.05332 131 95 26 10
513 The dog only gets beer. 1.3659 0.04579 164 113 42 9
514 I told you I was a cat lover. Sit over here and we'll start with some heavy petting. 1.3652 0.04551 178 128 38 12
515 This is a 1992 Cabernet sauvignon. I'm picking up on dark spices and fruit. Notes of cherry and cocoa as well as cat hair. 1.3652 0.04481 178 129 37 12
516 I am spayed and locked up. What's your excuse?" 1.3650 0.04549 200 145 37 18
517 The dog would drink it. 1.3646 0.04430 181 126 44 11
518 I don't like long walks on the beach, either. 1.3643 0.05385 129 91 29 9
519 Todd practices for his first Tinder date. 1.3642 0.04782 173 124 35 14
520 i'm guessing you see it as half empty. 1.3642 0.04417 173 119 45 9
521 Don't worry! One sip will kill the curiosity. 1.3641 0.04086 195 135 50 10
522 Let the lost mittens go. They're gone, man. 1.3636 0.04513 176 123 42 11
523 It's not drinking alone if your cat is with you!!!! 1.3636 0.04590 187 134 38 15
524 The blind date wasn’t what either of them expected. 1.3630 0.05321 135 99 25 11
525 Just wanted to have a little chit-chat about the new sofa. 1.3627 0.04303 193 135 46 12
526 Yes, it's more fun to go out, but you always want to come right back in. 1.3617 0.05160 141 100 31 10
527 So you’re a cat person, huh? 1.3613 0.04746 155 108 38 9
528 I’m still not letting you bathe me, Frank. 1.3609 0.05478 133 96 26 11
529 So, your profile says that you're interested in fishing, climbing, knitting and laser light shows... 1.3608 0.04936 158 113 33 12
530 So what do you think,wanna destroy this couch...? 1.3608 0.05097 158 115 29 14
531 So the dog is more of a beer drinker. That doesn't make him a 'stupid animal.' 1.3607 0.05468 122 86 28 8
532 I hope you don’t mind me asking but I’m dying to know — do you know Garfield? 1.3607 0.05468 122 86 28 8
533 To our one-sided love! 1.3605 0.05370 147 108 25 14
534 Wow, you're right. Kneading the couch does feel fantastic. 1.3602 0.04949 161 116 32 13
535 That’s funny, Cat in the Hat is my favorite book too. 1.3600 0.04849 150 105 36 9
536 Shall we stay in tonight, or prowl? 1.3600 0.04600 125 87 33 5
537 How long did you say Schrodinger will be on vacation...? 1.3597 0.05686 139 106 17 16
538 It's a little rough on the tongue. 1.3596 0.04813 178 130 32 16
539 So. 1.3590 0.06004 117 86 20 11
540 I just feel like we never really talk anymore 1.3590 0.04543 156 112 35 9
541 Yes, dropping that glass of wine on my new couch would ruin it. Why do you ask? 1.3590 0.05220 156 115 26 15
542 How many dates do we need to go on before you allow petting? 1.3589 0.04345 209 151 41 17
543 When you swipe right by mistake but have a good time anyway. 1.3588 0.04612 170 120 39 11
544 Yup, Julie left. Looks like it’s just me and you now. 1.3587 0.04505 184 131 40 13
545 Don't knock it over 'till you've tried it. 1.3586 0.05149 145 104 30 11
546 Why don't we go out more? Because you're an indoor cat. 1.3585 0.04990 159 115 31 13
547 You see, we're not really so different you and I. 1.3585 0.04745 159 116 31 12
548 I was actually picking up notes of litter and hair 1.3584 0.04557 173 122 40 11
549 This is a nice change after two years of Zoom. 1.3582 0.05233 134 95 30 9
550 You can sit on the couch, but not if you're drinking red. 1.3582 0.04297 201 143 44 14
551 It’s mousecatel. 1.3581 0.04890 148 104 35 9
552 Quarantine's over Greg--you need to go back to the bar and meet a nice person. 1.3580 0.04560 162 115 37 10
553 Interesting that neither of us has a neck. 1.3580 0.04924 162 117 32 13
554 Later we’ll do some catnip. 1.3580 0.04574 176 125 39 12
555 Wow, 127 half-siblings sounds like a lot of birthdays to remember. 1.3576 0.04626 165 116 39 10
556 Define meow 1.3571 0.05019 154 111 31 12
557 Now that Covid is wrapping up, I'm going to miss our little soirees 1.3571 0.05015 168 124 28 16
558 You’ve been avoiding your litter box for whatever reason, and I would like you to move out. 1.3567 0.04880 171 125 31 15
559 Drink up and I'll tell you about tomorrow's vet visit. 1.3567 0.04590 171 121 39 11
560 Hints of apricot, good balance, smooth finish - yes, I think this would go nicely with the dead rodent you brought home today. 1.3567 0.05032 157 114 30 13
561 So, yes. We’re ready for a kitten. Think of it as a mentoring opportunity. 1.3566 0.04903 143 100 35 8
562 It’s nice to finally sit down with a glass of wine and discuss the litter issues. 1.3566 0.05289 143 104 27 12
563 We need to talk. I'm getting mixed signals from you. One minute you're purring, the next you're drawing blood. 1.3566 0.05255 129 91 30 8
564 Since I'll be working from home for the next two weeks, I thought it might be nice to set a few boundaries 1.3565 0.05550 115 81 27 7
565 Sure, ok, if you want to talk about your litter box, we can. 1.3562 0.05119 146 105 30 11
566 So basically wine tasting has been my life, since you returned to the office.. 1.3560 0.04448 191 137 40 14
567 This has been fun but I really think I'm more of a dog person. 1.3557 0.04863 149 105 35 9
568 So, we agree on the proper use of the sofa? 1.3551 0.04911 138 96 35 7
569 But so far we've barely scratched the surface. 1.3548 0.04529 186 134 38 14
570 I was afraid the cheese plate would attract mice. 1.3547 0.04642 172 123 37 12
571 I doubt this pairs well with anything in a bowl. 1.3544 0.04758 158 112 36 10
572 Oh no, I have lots of friends. 1.3540 0.05169 161 120 25 16
573 The dog prefers beer, go figure. 1.3540 0.04859 161 116 33 12
574 Mittens thought to herself, "a good Pinot does not make up for a rocking chair and tail mishap. A great Pinot perhaps." 1.3540 0.04859 161 116 33 12
575 Here’s to three years of spending our time together on the same sofa twenty four hours a day, all year round. 1.3540 0.05169 161 120 25 16
576 You really don’t look anything like your profile picture. 1.3537 0.04710 147 106 32 9
577 May I have permission to pet you? 1.3537 0.04998 147 105 32 10
578 Does meow mean yes or no? 1.3537 0.04556 164 115 40 9
579 How would you feel about getting a dog? 1.3534 0.05086 116 79 33 4
580 God! This is the wine you give the dog. 1.3534 0.05358 133 96 27 10
581 The vet recommended setting Bartholomew at ease, but Paul forgot which glass had the medicine. 1.3533 0.04885 167 122 31 14
582 I took the plastic cover off of the couch. That should prove I am serious about our relationship. 1.3529 0.04676 170 122 36 12
583 'it just doesn't breathe the same from a saucer " 1.3526 0.04881 156 112 33 11
584 It's dry. Like your food. 1.3520 0.04240 196 139 45 12
585 ...and then I lost my mittens. 1.3520 0.05709 125 92 22 11
586 when you said you were a cat person, this is not what I expected 1.3520 0.05478 125 90 26 9
587 Is your preferred pronoun cat, kitty, pussy, or feline? 1.3520 0.04297 179 129 39 11
588 You’ll detect kibble, with a subtle bouquet of catnip. 1.3519 0.04420 162 112 43 7
589 And that’s how I lost my 4th life, Bill. 1.3517 0.05135 145 107 26 12
590 You say you hate Merlot, but I can hear you purring. 1.3515 0.04367 165 119 38 8
591 It’s our version of catnip 1.3515 0.04694 165 118 36 11
592 This might be a good time to talk about the dog. 1.3514 0.04876 148 105 34 9
593 All I really wanted was some milk 1.3512 0.04558 168 119 39 10
594 We need to talk about your exposed butthole. 1.3510 0.05332 151 113 23 15
595 Isn't this nicer than scratching the furniture? 1.3510 0.04717 151 106 37 8
596 How do you do that without an opposable thumb? 1.3506 0.04655 154 108 38 8
597 How are you holding that without opposable thumbs? 1.3506 0.05007 154 112 30 12
598 So we toast to your 11th birthday of your 5th life,right? 1.3503 0.04770 157 112 35 10
599 You did the right thing, he couldn't commit. And remember, there are a lot of other cats out there. 1.3503 0.04613 177 128 36 13
600 Don't worry, you'll land on your feet. 1.3500 0.05031 160 118 28 14
601 Full disclosure: this is a toupee. 1.3500 0.04959 140 99 33 8
602 Oh - don't worry, "cat piss" is just a term we use to describe how it smells. 1.3500 0.04959 140 99 33 8
603 Some of my best friends are cats. But honestly, I don’t see species. 1.3500 0.05162 140 101 29 10
604 Come on, it can't possibly be as bad as that Purina you made me try. 1.3497 0.04730 163 117 35 11
605 You see. Sitting up gives you a completely different perspective. 1.3497 0.04988 143 102 32 9
606 Your bio said you were Siamese. So I was expecting twins. 1.3496 0.05413 123 88 27 8
607 Well, at least I never drink alone. 1.3494 0.04670 166 119 36 11
608 My first cat didn't understand me. 1.3493 0.04620 146 101 39 6
609 She's gone, but we have each other. 1.3492 0.04341 189 135 42 12
610 No, Humpty Dumpty is my brother. 1.3487 0.04692 152 114 26 12
611 Oh, here's one. A Schnauzer, aCorgi and a Dachsund all walk into a bar... 1.3485 0.05587 132 98 22 12
612 You don’t look anything like your profile pic. 1.3485 0.05156 132 94 30 8
613 Nothing wrong with a glass of wine after a solid fourteen hours of sleep.” 1.3481 0.05074 158 117 27 14
614 I never really knew my father, either. 1.3478 0.05002 138 98 32 8
615 They said it was good for the “finicky oenophile”. 1.3476 0.04461 164 117 38 9
616 No, you can not chase that mouse until we finish the seder. 1.3475 0.04930 141 100 33 8
617 These work from home happy hours are beginning to feel a bit depressing. 1.3475 0.05131 141 102 29 10
618 You’re drinking the water from the goldfish bowl. Enjoy! 1.3473 0.04568 167 119 38 10
619 Look at us sitting here, just two cool cats. 1.3468 0.04608 173 125 36 12
620 I don't know how else to break this to you but they've called me back into the office. 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
621 The shelter said you were looking for a forever home where you could relax. 1.3467 0.04729 150 106 36 8
622 You're awfully quiet tonight. Other cat got your tongue? 1.3467 0.04729 150 106 36 8
623 It goes well with cheese, which goes well with mice; I thought you'd like it! 1.3467 0.05093 150 110 28 12
624 It's ok, go ahead, dip your paw. 1.3464 0.04666 153 108 37 8
625 I like what you’ve done with the place. 1.3464 0.04573 153 114 29 10
626 Your profile said you were a cat person, but I have to admit I was not expecting this! 1.3464 0.04847 153 110 33 10
627 It pairs very well with hairballs. 1.3462 0.04039 234 171 45 18
628 I'm sorry I lied about my height." 1.3459 0.04595 185 136 34 15
629 Think of it as catnip for humans. 1.3459 0.04804 159 115 33 11
630 So, I thought, maybe it is time we added a kitten to the household. You know, just thinking about the future and all... 1.3459 0.04370 159 114 37 8
631 My mother was a Russian nesting doll 1.3459 0.05234 133 96 28 9
632 So have you used match.com before? 1.3457 0.04742 162 117 34 11
633 Perhaps, after the wine, you'd like to see my collection of rejected Caption Contest submissions? 1.3457 0.04742 162 117 34 11
634 Spill red wine on the couch and you’ll only have eight lives left. 1.3456 0.05153 136 98 29 9
635 Sorry Pickles, I have to practise my post-pandemic social skills. 1.3456 0.05258 136 102 23 11
636 So you are a person cat. 1.3456 0.05258 136 99 27 10
637 I need to get more beer for the dog. 1.3455 0.04682 165 119 35 11
638 My wife is not the issue here. 1.3453 0.05178 139 101 28 10
639 You really are a cat man? 1.3448 0.04525 145 103 36 6
640 I believe this vintage is from one of your previous lives. 1.3448 0.04418 145 99 42 4
641 I see you meant 'Cat Person' literally on your profile 1.3448 0.04798 174 129 30 15
642 Here’s to our one millionth follower. 1.3444 0.04616 180 132 34 14
643 Glad you're learning to drink outside the box. 1.3444 0.05064 151 113 25 13
644 Now that we're settled, I have something to tell you. Work called, and they want me back twice a week. 1.3444 0.05236 151 113 24 14
645 I can taste hints of blackberry, oak, and catnip 1.3444 0.04608 151 106 38 7
646 I told my friends I'm totally getting some pussy tonight. 1.3444 0.05151 151 112 26 13
647 Oh, you're a tom cat? I'm sorry, but I don't roll that way! 1.3440 0.05460 125 93 22 10
648 Now that you're comfortable, let's talk about the shedding problem. 1.3439 0.04265 189 135 43 11
649 A dish? Guess I wasn’t thinking. 1.3438 0.04890 128 89 34 5
650 To life, or should I say lives! 1.3436 0.04554 163 116 38 9
651 You know, I'm not just a can opener with legs, and you are so much more than the hairballs you cough up. 1.3433 0.05308 134 98 26 10
652 So, pussy.com is just for cats? 1.3432 0.04751 169 124 32 13
653 This time, try to keep the tongue out of the glass. 1.3431 0.05225 137 100 27 10
654 Do you think this would work better with the seafood feast or the tuna fillet? 1.3429 0.04492 175 126 38 11
655 Listen, Buddy…there’s not enough wine in the world to make me a lap cat. 1.3427 0.05354 143 107 23 13
656 Tell me you didn't just call it Meowlot. 1.3425 0.04458 181 131 38 12
657 OK, now you ask me about my day. 1.3419 0.04617 155 110 37 8
658 Talk about coincidence. I was just about to ask YOU to stay off the furniture. 1.3419 0.04966 155 114 29 12
659 Don't give me that look. It could have been the Chateaux Nerf Du Pape, but SOMEONE pushed that off the table. 1.3419 0.06209 117 90 14 13
660 If you would like to cleanse your palate first, I can offer a hard cheddar or a soft mouse. 1.3416 0.04143 161 110 47 4
661 Why yes. It is Gato Negro. 1.3412 0.04801 170 126 30 14
662 Eyeing his drink, Fluffy wondered when the cheese board was coming out 1.3412 0.04423 170 121 40 9
663 . It's a lovely Cabernet with a hint of fish. 1.3410 0.04372 173 131 31 11
664 I have considered adopting you but honestly my life is too busy to deal with another human. 1.3409 0.05250 132 96 27 9
665 Hair of the dog? 1.3407 0.04831 182 138 26 18
666 You're a little more furry than your picture on Tinder. 1.3406 0.05490 138 104 21 13
667 Only alcoholics drink alone. 1.3404 0.05214 141 104 26 11
668 I believe this will pair well with the field mouse. 1.3400 0.04808 150 108 33 9
669 And later I thought we might share sardines and a nap. 1.3400 0.04714 150 107 35 8
670 Cat got your tongue? 1.3399 0.04833 153 111 32 10
671 Did you pick up that note of catnip in the nose? 1.3399 0.04833 153 111 32 10
672 Would you like to go into the other room and see my scratchings? 1.3397 0.04681 156 112 35 9
673 So, would you consider yourself a cat person? 1.3396 0.04622 159 114 36 9
674 I know—you like milk better. I heard you the first time. 1.3393 0.04533 168 124 33 11
675 Binge Garfield again tonight? 1.3391 0.05368 115 82 27 6
676 So Mr Schrodinger, tell me more about this equation 1.3388 0.05696 121 90 21 10
677 You don't look at all like your Tinder photo 1.3387 0.05713 124 93 20 11
678 While Joe droned on about being born in the Year of the Tiger, Fluffy recalled her mother’s warning about interspecies dating. 1.3386 0.05502 127 94 23 10
679 This wine doesn’t have my flea medicine in it, does it? Dennis? 1.3385 0.05411 130 96 24 10
680 Sometimes I get the urge to run out of the room really fast. 1.3382 0.05242 136 100 26 10
681 So can I pet you yet or are we still social distancing 1.3381 0.04849 139 99 33 7
682 Here's to our indifferences 1.3380 0.05182 142 105 26 11
683 Trust me, you won't sleep any more than usual. 1.3379 0.05106 145 107 27 11
684 I think you'll get to like not drinking it from a saucer 1.3377 0.04781 151 109 33 9
685 They were out of catnip. 1.3377 0.04593 151 114 27 10
686 The sommelier said it had a mineraly body with notes of yarn and catnip. 1.3377 0.04627 154 110 36 8
687 It pairs nicely with mice. 1.3376 0.04743 157 114 33 10
688 Hi, my name is Tom. 1.3376 0.04829 157 115 31 11
689 Last drink before you go to the shelter. 1.3374 0.04784 163 120 31 12
690 Just try it. I'm fresh out of catnip. 1.3374 0.04940 163 122 27 14
691 It's been a wonderful two years, but I'm going back to the office tomorrow. 1.3362 0.05865 116 87 19 10
692 It's a decent wine and you will love the box. 1.3360 0.05073 125 89 30 6
693 You don't look anything like the Profile you Posted..... 1.3359 0.05465 128 95 23 10
694 You look different in person. 1.3359 0.05465 128 95 23 10
695 I think you're almost ready to fly as an emotional support animal. 1.3359 0.05577 128 98 18 12
696 i’m only one glass away from destroying this sofa. 1.3359 0.05465 128 95 23 10
697 You've been so distant since the operation. 1.3359 0.04799 131 92 34 5
698 I love you, but I don’t like how you walk all over me. 1.3358 0.05291 134 99 25 10
699 Maybe you're just not cut out to be man's best friend. 1.3358 0.05209 137 101 26 10
700 Just think of it as liquid catnip. 1.3358 0.04999 137 101 27 9
701 Whaddaya think of Karen tonight, is she a keeper. 1.3357 0.04821 140 100 33 7
702 -So.. tell me everything about the crazy cat lady next door... 1.3357 0.04602 140 98 37 5
703 I’m sorry, would you have preferred milk? 1.3356 0.04724 149 107 34 8
704 Okay, how about this one? A cat, a dog and a veterinarian walk into a bar. 1.3355 0.04662 152 109 35 8
705 No, that’s not just your tongue, it DOES have notes of sandpaper. 1.3355 0.04755 152 110 33 9
706 See, for me its a toss up between wine and belly rubs, but I'd love to get a cat's opinion. 1.3355 0.04845 152 111 31 10
707 So then I ate some psychedelic mushrooms 1.3355 0.04953 155 115 28 12
708 Go on, try it. You only live nine times 1.3354 0.04759 164 121 31 12
709 With inflation, this is actually cheaper than your milk 1.3353 0.04716 170 126 31 13
710 Hints of cat pee is a description, not an accusation. 1.3353 0.04331 170 121 41 8
711 I've got some catnip. 1.3333 0.05040 126 90 30 6
712 Yes, I have no life. 1.3333 0.04594 180 134 32 14
713 Would you now agree that wine ages better than milk? 1.3333 0.05151 135 99 27 9
714 In vino, Felis. 1.3333 0.04818 135 96 33 6
715 We need to talk about your next life. 1.3333 0.05198 141 105 25 11
716 Well, it’s not exactly the same, but I found wine helped me recover from my vasectomy. 1.3333 0.05634 126 95 20 11
717 The litter tray is the third door on the right. 1.3333 0.04876 162 121 28 13
718 It was at this moment that Stewart realized he needed to go out more 1.3333 0.05341 132 98 24 10
719 It's time for us to have a quiet, rational discussion about what can be scratched and what shouldn't be scratched. 1.3333 0.04889 132 94 32 6
720 If you call this a 'meow-lot' one more time I'm going to bed, Dave. 1.3333 0.04999 141 103 29 9
721 Are you picking up on a subtle note of yarn? 1.3333 0.04243 180 129 42 9
722 I know it is Merlot but it does have notes of catnip. 1.3333 0.04941 159 119 27 13
723 Did you actually read the book this month, or are you going to fake it again? 1.3333 0.04828 144 104 32 8
724 So you don't want kids? 1.3333 0.04988 123 87 31 5
725 You look different from your photo. 1.3333 0.04860 159 118 29 12
726 I think you are now old enough to told I am not in fact your biological father 1.3315 0.04762 178 135 27 16
727 Let’s drink to your ninth life 1.3314 0.04576 169 124 34 11
728 I appreciate your letting me sit on the sofa. 1.3313 0.04220 166 117 43 6
729 I’m thinking about getting a dog 1.3313 0.04691 163 120 32 11
730 Jesus, I thought she’d never leave. 1.3313 0.04834 160 119 29 12
731 Before this goes any further, I want you to know that I’m spayed. 1.3312 0.04642 157 114 34 9
732 You'll love it. It's top shelf. 1.3312 0.04553 157 113 36 8
733 Crisp, with hints of tuna and rodents. 1.3312 0.04899 157 117 28 12
734 I must admit that I didn't expect the dating site to be so literal 1.3310 0.05069 142 105 27 10
735 Now let me tell you about my nine lives. 1.3309 0.04938 139 104 26 9
736 The most socializing I’ll do post pandemic 1.3309 0.05528 136 104 19 13
737 Yes, catnip is much drier.“ 1.3308 0.04859 133 95 32 6
738 Now you ask something about me. 1.3308 0.05051 130 94 29 7
739 On the other hand, it concentrates the aroma better than a bowl. 1.3307 0.05250 127 93 26 8
740 You will love it. Itś a Catbernet Savignon 1.3307 0.04880 127 90 32 5
741 It’s “the cat’s out of the bag”, not “half in the bag”. 1.3306 0.05168 121 87 28 6
742 I am so glad the world is getting back to normal 1.3306 0.05168 121 87 28 6
743 Not your favorite? Well, THAT's a huge surprise. 1.3305 0.05523 118 87 23 8
744 It's corduroy. Why do you ask? 1.3304 0.05200 115 82 28 5
745 At last, a real cool cat. 1.3294 0.04553 170 125 34 11
746 Look, nine life insurance policies is all you need. 1.3292 0.04727 161 119 31 11
747 ok, melanie. No judging, no accusing, we’re just friends relaxing. So. Is there ANYTHING you want to share with me about Fido’s disappearance? 1.3292 0.04560 161 117 35 9
748 Really, it makes a good pairing with Fancy Feast. 1.3290 0.04766 155 114 31 10
749 You’ll like this. It’s from the Catskills. 1.3290 0.04304 155 116 31 8
750 It has a catnippy nose with hints of mouse and yarn ball and finishes with cat butt. 1.3289 0.05179 152 116 22 14
751 Tom, I think it’s time for you to start going out again. 1.3289 0.04804 149 109 31 9
752 I hope this isn’t too forward, but… have you been spayed? 1.3289 0.05168 149 113 23 13
753 It pairs well with both tuna and hairballs 1.3288 0.05153 146 110 24 12
754 This may be the wine talking, but I think I'll have more wine. 1.3287 0.04940 143 105 29 9
755 Come on. I can't be the first to lie on my Tinder profile!" 1.3287 0.04839 143 104 31 8
756 I could get you a bowl 1.3286 0.05012 140 103 28 9
757 I also love to cuddle. 1.3280 0.05051 125 90 29 6
758 I am getting a dog. 1.3279 0.04463 183 136 34 13
759 I'm glad you could make it--it's just so hard making friends after college 1.3277 0.05612 119 89 21 9
760 I thought you'd like it. It's aloof, sassy and noir! 1.3276 0.04764 174 132 27 15
761 This goes well with kibble. 1.3275 0.04530 171 126 34 11
762 Wait. No! You're a boy? 1.3274 0.05250 113 83 24 6
763 Now we can go back to ignoring each other 1.3274 0.04586 168 124 33 11
764 So, let's discuss this calmly....WHY are you giving your notice? 1.3274 0.04959 168 129 23 16
765 I know that cats sleep 20 hours a day, but you can be socialable during the 4 awake. 1.3274 0.04346 168 121 39 8
766 and that,Jason,is why I use your furniture as a scratch post. 1.3273 0.04481 165 120 36 9
767 When your online dating profile said that you were a cat-person, I expected something a little different. 1.3272 0.05017 162 124 23 15
768 No, the dog is more of a toilet water drinker 1.3271 0.05439 107 77 25 5
769 Aroma of catnip with hints of salmon and tuna. 1.3270 0.04593 159 116 34 9
770 Really? Another nap? 1.3269 0.04826 156 116 29 11
771 A dog walks into a bar… 1.3269 0.04562 156 113 35 8
772 A hint of cat's pee on a gooseberry bush... don't you agree? 1.3268 0.04804 153 113 30 10
773 Sauvignon blanc, you say? Why does is smell so familiar? 1.3268 0.04527 153 113 32 8
774 How about the Chat Noir? 1.3268 0.04804 153 113 30 10
775 They say it goes well with mouse. 1.3262 0.04774 141 102 32 7
776 But enough about me. 1.3262 0.04879 141 103 30 8
777 You know, I'm generally a dog person but I've had a really nice time tonight. 1.3261 0.05360 138 105 21 12
778 It’s not you, it’s me. I could never be man’s best friend. 1.3261 0.04502 138 97 37 4
779 You’re not noticing the subtle hints of Tuna? 1.3257 0.04381 175 128 37 10
780 You don’t look at all like your profile picture. 1.3257 0.04741 175 133 27 15
781 Now that mom and the dog are gone. We can finally take our relationship to the next level. 1.3256 0.05297 129 96 24 9
782 I couldn't trust the dog not to spill. 1.3256 0.05297 129 96 24 9
783 Don’t worry, my dog is out running errands. 1.3254 0.05265 126 93 25 8
784 Does this wine make me look like a cat? 1.3254 0.05143 126 92 27 7
785 To lives! 1.3254 0.05727 126 97 17 12
786 I’ve honestly never been good at landing on my feet, but they say opposites attract. 1.3254 0.05265 126 93 25 8
787 Prickly, arrogant, with notes of disdain. Oh, you meant the wine? 1.3252 0.05829 123 95 16 12
788 Usually you would drink white with kibble but I thought you'd like this one. 1.3250 0.04482 160 116 36 8
789 So, are you a cat person or a dog person? 1.3250 0.04820 160 120 28 12
790 It's classier in the glass, but if you'd prefer, I can get you a saucer. 1.3248 0.05268 117 85 26 6
791 It pairs well with mice. 1.3248 0.05268 117 85 26 6
792 I agree that we’ve been a good support system for one another during the pandemic, but I’m ready to get back to some of the things I enjoy like chasing mice...and my tail. 1.3248 0.05126 117 84 28 5
793 I detect mouse with a hint of kitty litter. 1.3247 0.04777 154 114 30 10
794 And then they said I can work from home permanently! 1.3247 0.04777 154 114 30 10
795 You'll like this one, it has notes of mouse. 1.3247 0.04503 154 114 32 8
796 'So just sip, don't lap it.' 1.3247 0.04951 154 116 26 12
797 Would be a perfect pairing with tuna,right? 1.3247 0.04777 154 114 30 10
798 I think we should get a kitten. 1.3246 0.05502 114 84 23 7
799 Je pense que vous apprécierez les notes de poisson, de poulet et de foie. 1.3245 0.04932 151 113 27 11
800 your face is saying it’s less fishy and more fruity than you prefer 1.3245 0.04750 151 117 25 9
801 I was expecting a bigger turnout than this 1.3243 0.05093 148 112 24 12
802 Nice wine. Cat Fancy gave it four hair balls. 1.3243 0.05002 148 111 26 11
803 My last cat hated Merlot. 1.3241 0.04882 145 107 29 9
804 You look much different than your Match photo. 1.3241 0.05234 108 77 27 4
805 I think it smells like cat pee, but you're the expert 1.3239 0.04850 142 104 30 8
806 Good news, Mittens, the firm made 'work from home' permanent! 1.3239 0.04640 142 102 34 6
807 I don’t care how expensive the wine is Harvey. It’s still no you’re not petting me. 1.3239 0.05052 142 106 26 10
808 I did not read the book either. 1.3237 0.04920 139 102 29 8
809 And I like long naps on the beach. 1.3234 0.04097 167 118 44 5
810 Is there anything that doesn't make you sleepy? 1.3233 0.05179 133 99 25 9
811 It’s so difficult to meet eligible singles with the same, rare neck disorder. 1.3231 0.05147 130 96 26 8
812 I’m pretty sure you didn’t have fur in your pictures… 1.3231 0.05030 130 95 28 7
813 is this about me using the litter box when you’re brushing your teeth? 1.3228 0.05230 127 94 25 8
814 I know i have all these lives but i also try to live in the moment 1.3228 0.05463 127 96 21 10
815 It's 5 o'clock somewhere, kitty! 1.3226 0.05316 124 92 24 8
816 You have 8 other lives in which you can hate me. 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
817 Of course I want you to remain independent. 1.3219 0.04755 146 110 27 9
818 The wine clerk told me this Merlot was the cat's meow. What do you think? 1.3218 0.04464 174 131 31 12
819 Make yourself at home, the litter box is in the basement. 1.3217 0.04821 143 105 30 8
820 There's also an annual catnip bonus based on the number of rodents caught. 1.3217 0.04821 143 105 30 8
821 New world, very expressive, vibrant sardine with a touch of black currents 1.3217 0.04613 143 103 34 6
822 So, are you more an Indoor-Cat or an Outdoor-Cat? 1.3217 0.04718 143 104 32 7
823 Give it a try! You only live once, right? 1.3214 0.04890 140 103 29 8
824 First, I want to apologize for calling you "spoiled." 1.3212 0.04683 137 101 29 7
825 Oh, stop worrying about wine making you chubby and enjoy it. I have. 1.3212 0.04626 137 103 27 7
826 That’s right, I have opposable thumbs and no whiskers…but I’d prefer not to sit closer to you. Thanks 1.3212 0.05069 137 102 26 9
827 This Stanley Tucci show is the only thing on CNN I can handle right now. 1.3212 0.04852 137 102 27 8
828 I know, but it’s just that it’s wrong to drink alone” 1.3211 0.05956 109 83 17 9
829 I had a feeling I was being catfished. 1.3209 0.05254 134 101 23 10
830 ..And then they did a cat scan.. 1.3208 0.05927 106 80 18 8
831 I just thought we could break down some of the differences between us and openly discuss hairballs on my bed. 1.3206 0.04998 131 96 28 7
832 I thought it time we sat down in a civilised way to discuss your recent behaviour… 1.3203 0.05195 128 95 25 8
833 Here's to us both pussy-footing around! 1.3203 0.05539 128 98 19 11
834 What do you say we take this to the bedroom? 1.3203 0.05195 128 95 25 8
835 You looked taller in your profile picture 1.3200 0.05859 125 98 14 13
836 No really, my Persian and I have an open marriage. 1.3195 0.04549 169 126 32 11
837 So… your Tinder picture looked kinda different. 1.3195 0.04626 169 127 30 12
838 Just this one night, can you act like a normal cat? 1.3194 0.04479 144 107 30 7
839 I hope you don't mind the glass. I couldn't get the wine to come out of the faucet in the kitchen. 1.3191 0.05164 141 107 23 11
840 I’m sorry — it’s not you, it’s just meow. 1.3191 0.04964 141 105 27 9
841 Now… I wanted to discuss your catnip issue… 1.3190 0.05421 116 86 23 7
842 I’m surprised you don’t remember the procedure. You were VERY upset. 1.3190 0.05557 116 87 21 8
843 Don’t tell Celia I let you drink red wine in the living room. 1.3188 0.04712 138 100 32 6
844 Now this is how we treat a sofa, ok? 1.3188 0.05141 138 104 24 10
845 Cat people aren't nearly as weird as people say. Isn't that right, Mr. Whiskers? More chardonnay, Mr. Whiskers? 1.3188 0.04823 138 101 30 7
846 Mr Chmiaw and Lars both felt anxious with this new territory of socializing, but with Covid, their options were limited. 1.3188 0.04931 138 102 28 8
847 It’s called wine. Think of it as liquid catnip. 1.3188 0.04723 160 120 29 11
848 What a day. Up at 4:30 to wander aimlessly around the apartment and make strange noises. Laying on the floor in the sun by 9. Eating lunch out of my breakfast bowl at 1. Staring out the window at birds from 3 to 5. And how was your day, Mr. Puss? 1.3186 0.05373 113 83 24 6
849 I know we live together, but I feel like we don’t really hang out anymore. 1.3186 0.05659 113 85 20 8
850 Well, sure, everyone embellishes a little on these Dating Apps. No, I'm probably not the very picture of a "Tenderhearted Poet slash Assertive Hard-Body"...but come on...you said you were a "fox." 1.3185 0.05114 135 101 25 9
851 Did you even read the book this month? 1.3185 0.05004 135 100 27 8
852 This isn’t going to work. I’m allergic to kids. 1.3185 0.05114 135 101 25 9
853 I took your advice and grabbed her by the back of the neck. 1.3182 0.05155 110 79 27 4
854 …Maybe we should get out more 1.3182 0.04848 132 96 30 6
855 No, it’s totally my fault…on the dating app I did say that I just wanted a little pussy. 1.3179 0.04620 173 131 29 13
856 The dogs at this party don't know the difference between a merlot and a chardonnay. 1.3179 0.04826 151 113 28 10
857 No, really, you’re more than just a pet 1.3179 0.04543 151 110 34 7
858 I know this is hard to hear, but we are getting a puppy. 1.3178 0.05042 129 95 27 7
859 Try just smelling first, before sipping, knocking it on the floor, and walking away disinterested. 1.3178 0.05042 129 95 27 7
860 Just a nip Cat! 1.3171 0.05330 123 92 23 8
861 Yes, you can play with the cork if you like. 1.3171 0.05074 123 90 27 6
862 Forgive me if I seem nervous- I'm more of a dog person. 1.3167 0.05290 120 89 24 7
863 It's an '08 Fancy Feast. 1.3165 0.04901 139 103 28 8
864 I’m so glad we’re speaking again. 1.3162 0.04749 136 99 31 6
865 So I saw on your instagram that you like to climb. 1.3162 0.04862 136 100 29 7
866 I told the landlord you were an emotional support cat, so I figured we should at least play the part. 1.3162 0.04749 136 99 31 6
867 So...what's new pussycat? woa-" "Please don't. 1.3158 0.05886 114 88 16 10
868 It’s not so bad being domesticated. 1.3158 0.04448 133 94 36 3
869 Then she said “you really need to get a social life”…imagine that!! 1.3153 0.05427 111 82 23 6
870 Giving you your heart medication used to be so much easier. 1.3153 0.05274 111 81 25 5
871 So, I hear you want to be in the movies. 1.3152 0.05972 92 68 19 5
872 So tell me, how are you feline? 1.3151 0.04836 146 109 28 9
873 Am I keeping you up?” 1.3145 0.04562 159 118 32 9
874 Let’s hope this leads to heavy petting. 1.3143 0.05373 140 109 18 13
875 This could be trouble. I thought the invite was for "cat nip" not "night cap." 1.3140 0.05509 121 92 20 9
876 No kidding? Nine wives?! 1.3140 0.05253 121 90 24 7
877 First of all, thank you for taking off your shoes at the door. 1.3140 0.05120 121 89 26 6
878 It IS refined, but at the end of the day, I still shit in a box. 1.3139 0.04832 137 101 29 7
879 And I thought it was just me who found ‘Garfield’ deeply erotic. 1.3139 0.04832 137 101 29 7
880 You know,your ex sounds like a dog. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
881 I know you’re finicky. What do you think? 1.3130 0.05293 115 85 24 6
882 How about we keep this between us for now" 1.3130 0.05093 131 98 25 8
883 My first cat never let me sit on the couch, so I was hoping ... " 1.3130 0.05318 131 100 21 10
884 It's dense and velvety, like Grandma's curtains, with notes of catnip. 1.3130 0.05207 131 99 23 9
885 Believe me. If milk was better, they’d make tasting clubs for it and keep it in cellars. 1.3130 0.04857 131 96 29 6
886 We're friends, right? You can tell me what happened to my shoes. 1.3130 0.04976 131 99 24 8
887 It pairs well with tuna, trust me. 1.3129 0.04710 147 109 30 8
888 Of course you’re old enough to drink. We figure your age in cat years. 1.3129 0.04904 147 111 26 10
889 I thought you might like this one's subtle hints of tuna. 1.3129 0.04397 163 122 32 9
890 It pairs nicely with the Fancy Feast I've prepared. 1.3129 0.04397 163 120 35 8
891 I find your independent nature fascinating....... 1.3125 0.04929 128 94 28 6
892 ...with just a hint of mouse. 1.3125 0.05070 144 110 23 11
893 Honest, nothing is going to change for us when I go back to the office. 1.3125 0.05234 112 82 25 5
894 What’s the matter? You got your tongue? 1.3125 0.05386 112 83 23 6
895 Maybe it’s the wine talking, but I feel like we have a connection? 1.3125 0.04566 144 105 33 6
896 Now, see! This is how to treat a sofa! 1.3125 0.05173 128 96 24 8
897 So much better than those cheap blends they had at the shelter.” 1.3120 0.05257 125 94 23 8
898 To put it plainly, this is my last ditch attempt to establish some sort of control over your behavior. 1.3120 0.05133 125 96 21 8
899 I don't know how you are going to take this - but I am going back to the office 1.3119 0.05636 109 82 20 7
900 This is my third glass - can I use your litter box? 1.3116 0.05122 138 105 23 10
901 You were right. This couch is nice. I can’t wait to claw through the back of it. 1.3116 0.05325 138 107 19 12
902 At the shelter, they said you might want a little nip every now and then. 1.3115 0.04950 122 89 28 5
903 I'm not upset, I just took 'must love cats' in your profile differently. 1.3113 0.06049 106 82 15 9
904 No, I’m sorry, it’s not mouse blood. 1.3113 0.04716 151 117 23 11
905 The last two years have been fun, but do you think it’s time you start seeing other… people? 1.3111 0.04872 135 100 28 7
906 After sleeping all day, isn't it nice to unwind? 1.3109 0.04884 119 86 29 4
907 After countless years of tracking Humpty Dumpty, Detective Kat was about to pounce. 1.3109 0.05937 119 94 13 12
908 Please. I can't drink alone any more. 1.3108 0.04378 148 107 36 5
909 Here's to ... a Vet-free future. For both of us! 1.3108 0.04378 148 114 27 7
910 Once it kicks in, we head straight to the vet, okay? 1.3107 0.06019 103 79 16 8
911 Maybe it's just the wine ... but you look great in that catsuit. 1.3106 0.05283 132 101 21 10
912 Pinot noir for my chat noir. 1.3106 0.04320 132 95 34 3
913 Well to be totally honest, that nine lives thing? It’s not real. 1.3106 0.05060 132 99 25 8
914 Which of your nine lives are old enough to drink? 1.3103 0.06802 87 68 11 8
915 Looks like it's just us tonight. 1.3103 0.05110 116 85 26 5
916 We need to discuss my fee for the cat videos you post, Greg. 1.3103 0.05110 116 85 26 5
917 I guess you still don't have your sense of taste back 1.3101 0.04643 129 93 32 4
918 A good vintage - not as pretentious as you. 1.3099 0.05114 142 109 22 11
919 Plus addiction, my boy. Curiosity plus addiction. 1.3099 0.04915 142 107 26 9
920 There's something I've been meaning to tell you: We're getting a dog. 1.3097 0.05491 113 85 21 7
921 I haven't seen you since high school. Is your family still in the Exterminator & Pest Control business? 1.3097 0.05633 113 86 19 8
922 Relax, I'm sure they'll find their mittens. 1.3097 0.04806 155 118 26 11
923 I wanted a dog; a drunk cat will do. 1.3097 0.04444 155 114 34 7
924 Mind if I call you Kitty? 1.3095 0.05221 126 95 23 8
925 You must feel that you were the luckiest cat in the cat shelter. 1.3095 0.04709 126 94 27 5
926 So you weren’t swiping right, just knocking the phone off the table? 1.3095 0.04972 126 95 24 7
927 I think you’ll find this Zinfandel pairs superbly with the fish. 1.3095 0.04218 168 125 35 8
928 Please, spare me the sommelier routine, John. What you know about wine could fit on the tip of my left whisker. 1.3095 0.05098 126 94 25 7
929 I can’t tell you how thrilled I am that you decided to quarantine with me. 1.3092 0.04689 152 117 25 10
930 You'll appreciate the nose. 1.3091 0.04679 165 126 27 12
931 Have you considered getting a human for companionship? 1.3091 0.05285 110 81 24 5
932 You were saying, you had to claw your way to the top? 1.3091 0.05285 110 81 24 5
933 Since you shared your dead bird with me, this only seemed fair. 1.3091 0.05592 110 83 20 7
934 Cheer up, Kitty, he wasn't worthy of you. You deserve a Tomcat who's not afraid of a committment. 1.3088 0.04841 136 101 28 7
935 You can do it; you don’t need a bowl. 1.3088 0.05061 136 103 24 9
936 I was hoping that you would appreciate my favorite Mouscatel. 1.3087 0.04557 149 110 32 7
937 Clever kitty, red wine does indeed mean we’re not eating fish tonight. 1.3085 0.05665 94 69 21 4
938 But this was your favorite vintage yesterday…? 1.3085 0.06422 94 73 13 8
939 Are you feeling as bored as I am?" 1.3084 0.05999 107 83 15 9
940 What do you mean you're not even curious? 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
941 The pandemic only deepened Fred and Fluffy’s relationship. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
942 I can't remember the last time we shared this much. 1.3083 0.04912 133 99 27 7
943 All this time I thought you only liked beer. 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
944 Eric introduces his first love to his second love. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
945 Fruity yes…but I can’t agree about the hint of flounder. 1.3077 0.04783 143 107 28 8
946 Thanks for coming. Not everyone will break from a long nap just for happy hour with me. 1.3077 0.04865 130 96 28 6
947 I also invited the goldfish. I wonder where he is? 1.3077 0.05753 117 91 16 10
948 Cheers! Thanks for not whining. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
949 This is where my last cat used to sit 1.3072 0.04570 153 114 31 8
950 It’s not you, it’s meow. 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
951 I use a photo of my neighbor's cat on the dating app. 1.3071 0.05063 127 95 25 7
952 Do you get the chalky terroir of litter and grassy hint of catnip in the afternotes? 1.3071 0.05185 127 96 23 8
953 You know, you don't always have to land on your feet. 1.3070 0.05590 114 87 19 8
954 Since you’ve destroyed all of the other furniture, you might as well drink red wine on our new couch 1.3067 0.04550 163 123 30 10
955 My working from home has brought us so much closer, don’t you think? 1.3067 0.04432 150 110 34 6
956 I know you have misgivings about me posting that video of you online, but it’s gone viral and now I think we need to talk about what’s next with your career…” 1.3067 0.04629 150 112 30 8
957 To err is human, and to whine, feline. 1.3066 0.04811 137 102 28 7
958 I'd suggest you not to be curious about it 1.3066 0.04698 137 101 30 6
959 This should get you ready for the vet. 1.3066 0.04811 137 102 28 7
960 Is this little wet spot from you? 1.3065 0.05144 124 93 24 7
961 Remember, if I ever make friends again, we’ll likely have to end this tradition. 1.3063 0.04922 111 80 28 3
962 She loves us both, but in different ways. Please consider me a friend not a competitor. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
963 When you're away, they play all day 1.3061 0.04885 147 112 25 10
964 They say this Sauvignon Blanc has notes of cat pee. Thoughts? 1.3060 0.05214 134 103 21 10
965 So then you say, “It’s nice to meet you too”. 1.3058 0.05095 121 90 25 6
966 It’s Purrgundy! Organic, too! 1.3057 0.04753 157 120 26 11
967 We're out of milk, but I think you'll find this keeps you purring. 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
968 No one gets me like you do Mr. Bubbles 1.3056 0.05497 108 81 21 6
969 Here's to letting the cat out of the bag. 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
970 I'm sorry, I find your indifference disheartening. 1.3053 0.05071 131 99 24 8
971 It pairs well with salmon. 1.3053 0.04710 131 96 30 5
972 This one has full-bodied fruit with a smoky aroma and a hint of mouse at the finish. 1.3053 0.04953 131 100 23 8
973 [Taps couch seductively.] 1.3053 0.04953 131 98 26 7
974 I think we matched becuase of your curiosity and my playfulness. 1.3051 0.05316 118 89 22 7
975 LOVE your coat! 1.3051 0.05451 118 90 20 8
976 Mary is not coming back, so it's just the two of us now. 1.3046 0.04882 151 116 24 11
977 Your shelter photos didn't lie. 1.3043 0.05119 115 85 25 5
978 We’re getting a puppy, and you’re getting fixed. Have a great day! 1.3043 0.05306 138 108 18 12
979 You're right; I probably shouldn't have used my cat for my profile photo. 1.3040 0.04849 125 92 28 5
980 So, I just wanted to just sit down, have a nice glass of wine and maybe talk about your attitude. 1.3040 0.04980 125 93 26 6
981 I'm getting a strong nose of catnip with a lingering taste of tuna 1.3040 0.05233 125 95 22 8
982 I know, I went Costco because I can't tell the difference either. 1.3039 0.05709 102 77 19 6
983 Usually I don't get along with cat people. 1.3037 0.04962 135 102 25 8
984 I’m living my best life and unfortunately this is it. 1.3037 0.05180 135 104 21 10
985 I think you will agree this goes great with the tuna I've prepared. 1.3037 0.04734 135 100 29 6
986 If anyone asks, you're over 21. 1.3036 0.04886 112 81 28 3
987 The label said it pairs lovely with the ratatouille. 1.3036 0.05649 112 86 18 8
988 It pairs well with finch, field mouse or leftover kibble. 1.3034 0.05021 145 112 22 11
989 I always thought in my next life I wanted to come back as a cat or a dog in a good home. 1.3032 0.04876 155 122 20 13
990 Who’s a pretty person? You are, you are! 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
991 No it’s not that I don’t like it, I just feel my news merited champagne. 1.3030 0.04680 132 97 30 5
992 say i ain't seen the canary today have you 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
993 Okay, just this once. Starting tomorrow you’re to stay off the furniture. 1.3028 0.04687 142 108 26 8
994 The hint of catnip is very subtle. 1.3028 0.05295 109 81 23 5
995 I think you'll find that red wine goes well with hair balls. 1.3026 0.04854 152 117 24 11
996 You'll love it. It's aged in old sardine tins. 1.3026 0.04481 152 113 32 7
997 The nose is very wet. 1.3025 0.04856 119 87 28 4
998 It pairs perfectly with a hairball. 1.3025 0.04473 162 122 31 9
999 Don't drink it! Just hold still for the photo 1.3023 0.04485 129 93 33 3
1000 Maybe this is just the wine talking, but "Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
1001 Actually, you're not the first cat to take a swipe at me. 1.3023 0.04873 129 98 24 7
1002 So... If you were an animal, what animal would you be? 1.3022 0.04752 139 104 28 7
1003 Now be honest, do you really feel completely indifferent towards me? 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
1004 What... human got your tongue? 1.3019 0.05390 106 79 22 5
1005 This is taking the phrase “You’re never drinking alone when your cat is home” one step further! 1.3016 0.05073 126 95 24 7
1006 What? You prefer white? 1.3016 0.05436 126 98 18 10
1007 This is what you humans get excited about after work...wine? Pathetic 1.3016 0.04683 126 92 30 4
1008 We both said that we preferred cats to dogs. That dating app promised surprises and they delivered on that! 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1009 To aloofness! 1.3015 0.04467 136 99 33 4
1010 ''Remember, one drink for me is like ten of them for you." 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1011 Have another drink and maybe the idea of getting a dog won't seem so bad. 1.3015 0.04467 136 99 33 4
1012 So I know my bedroom is bigger but your bathroom is right here in the living room, so I think we should split the rent 50/50 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1013 Meow? Really? That’s all you have to say?! 1.3012 0.04717 166 129 24 13
1014 In more ways than one, John was gradually turning into his cat. 1.3010 0.05988 103 80 15 8
1015 The goal is to let it breathe so all of the nuances are allowed to to reveal themselves and then when we drink it we can marvel at its complexities. Otherwise it just tastes like cat p.... - well, you get the idea. 1.3009 0.05010 113 83 26 4
1016 Enough about me. How was your day? 1.3008 0.05024 123 92 25 6
1017 It’s supposed to make you a little more friendly 1.3008 0.05282 123 94 21 8
1018 I'll drink your wine but if you move any closer I will scratch your eyes out. 1.3008 0.05282 123 94 21 8
1019 I thought we might have a chat about your box, 1.3008 0.04751 123 93 25 5
1020 Actually, I didn't think you could hold your liquor. 1.3008 0.04889 123 95 21 7
1021 Dating in the time of COVID. 1.3008 0.05117 133 102 22 9
1022 So, you don’t like Alsatian wines 1.3007 0.04763 143 108 27 8
1023 Sorry, I ran out of milk. 1.3007 0.04552 143 106 31 6
1024 It’s so peaceful after the dogs go to sleep. 1.3007 0.04659 143 107 29 7
1025 C'mon drink up...don't be a pussy... 1.3007 0.04865 143 109 25 9
1026 Are you sure this helps with hairballs? 1.3007 0.04659 143 107 29 7
1027 so this is what you do when I'm not home 1.3007 0.04966 143 110 23 10
1028 Oh,really? I lick my own too. 1.3000 0.04935 140 107 24 9
1029 So anyhow, that is how my third cat died. 1.3000 0.05596 100 75 20 5
1030 I've always admired your flexibility. 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1031 I hear you’re into hunting and fishing. 1.3000 0.05104 120 90 24 6
1032 The correct term is "terroir" not "litter box. 1.3000 0.05239 120 91 22 7
1033 Come on,we had catnip last time. 1.3000 0.04963 130 98 25 7
1034 We will tell my parents you are Siamese, not Jewish. 1.3000 0.05197 130 100 21 9
1035 Let's drink to your stealth! 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1036 Finally, someone I can talk to. 1.3000 0.04588 130 95 31 4
1037 The catnip infusion was just to get you started. 1.2993 0.04570 147 110 30 7
1038 So, let’s talk about you! How did you confuse the litter box with my shoes? 1.2993 0.04675 137 102 29 6
1039 Well, Kitty Carlisle used to rave about it 1.2993 0.05114 137 106 21 10
1040 It's time we got you off catnip. 1.2992 0.04913 127 95 26 6
1041 Before this gets too serious I really should get allergy tested. 1.2992 0.04913 127 95 26 6
1042 This is nice, but after the pandemic is over, I think we should consider getting separate places. 1.2992 0.04913 127 95 26 6
1043 … Château Le Chat. It pairs beautifully with mice. 1.2991 0.04896 117 86 27 4
1044 Maybe it's the wine talking, but I think we should start wearing matching outfits. 1.2991 0.05328 117 89 21 7
1045 I identify as a cat person now 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
1046 A good pairing with mouse -- or perhaps better with bird? 1.2986 0.04836 144 110 25 9
1047 Of course it tastes funny.'You're a cartoon. 1.2984 0.05119 124 94 23 7
1048 So I wanted to ask your advice on becoming a YouTube star.” 1.2984 0.04856 124 92 27 5
1049 I dunno Felix, but ever since I told her I drink wine with my cat she hasn’t been taking my calls. 1.2982 0.05563 114 88 18 8
1050 I’m so glad we finally got a chance to do this. 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1051 not sure my tongue will reach, but thanks. 1.2979 0.05107 141 110 20 11
1052 It's your favorite, pinot meow. 1.2979 0.04585 141 105 30 6
1053 Now is this not more sophisticated than drinking out of the toilet? 1.2979 0.04694 141 106 28 7
1054 And now I ask you "how was your day?" 1.2977 0.04559 131 96 31 4
1055 When I agreed to cat-sit,I didn’t expect to fall in love. 1.2977 0.05048 131 100 23 8
1056 When Harry Met Muffy 1.2975 0.05068 121 93 21 7
1057 When match.com suggested a date with Kitty, this is not what I expected. 1.2975 0.05585 121 95 16 10
1058 I detect notes of tuna, wheatgrass and catnip. 1.2975 0.04642 121 90 27 4
1059 And I would agree, dogs are beer. 1.2975 0.05202 121 92 22 7
1060 You should finish that glass before you knock it over. 1.2973 0.05665 111 86 17 8
1061 Yes, it's more expensive, but it's the only red with that soupçon of Red Boat and hints of catnip and scratching post. 1.2971 0.04759 138 104 27 7
1062 I don't believe that people begin to look like their pets. 1.2971 0.04647 138 103 29 6
1063 I think I’ve been catfished.” 1.2970 0.05724 101 77 18 6
1064 And to think of all those other kitties drinking from the toilet bowl. 1.2969 0.05126 128 98 22 8
1065 Look. I know I wrote in my profile that I am a cat person. I just never expected that you would know so much about Bordeaux. 1.2969 0.04880 128 99 23 6
1066 Reds are just easier to clean out of the litter box. I hope you’ll understand. 1.2969 0.05245 128 99 20 9
1067 I found it pairs great with fish and hairballs. 1.2966 0.05424 118 91 19 8
1068 To Scruffs. 1.2966 0.05150 118 89 23 6
1069 So, a hairball walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a highball, and the bartender says, how you gonna keep it down? 1.2966 0.05150 118 89 23 6
1070 The message I left on your machine was meant for your mistress. 1.2966 0.04706 145 110 27 8
1071 Having just bought you from the pet store, I just thought we could get to know each other first. 1.2966 0.04603 145 109 29 7
1072 So Jack, you think you are a cat. 1.2963 0.04940 135 103 24 8
1073 Somehow your indifference only adds to your allure. 1.2963 0.04827 135 102 26 7
1074 The hint of fish is the right finish! 1.2963 0.05773 108 84 16 8
1075 Pinot noir is NOT a black cat joke. 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
1076 Next date, my lap is yours. 1.2960 0.04547 125 93 28 4
1077 Another Friday night with Walter had Felix wondering. Had he chosen the life of an alley cat, would he have been more content? 1.2959 0.05657 98 74 19 5
1078 It's just what you need, the hair of the dog that bit...what, did I say something wrong? 1.2955 0.05014 132 101 23 8
1079 Then I poisoned his kibble so the house is all yours. 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
1080 Sorry, we’re all out of milk. 1.2953 0.04416 149 111 32 6
1081 What I'm looking for in a relationship is constant cuddling. 1.2952 0.05050 105 77 25 3
1082 Let's move this party to the sewing room and I'll show you my yarn ball collection. 1.2951 0.04755 122 90 28 4
1083 On Tinder, your name was spelled “KATZ.” 1.2951 0.05294 122 94 20 8
1084 I’m so glad we got to know each other better during lockdown.. 1.2951 0.05421 122 95 18 9
1085 Hair of the cat will cure that hangover. 1.2949 0.04657 156 120 26 10
1086 Drink up, I sprang for the Scotch guard package! 1.2946 0.05327 112 85 21 6
1087 Let's drink to it. You're now officially an indoor cat. 1.2946 0.05209 129 100 20 9
1088 Here's to escaping the dog eat dog world outside! 1.2946 0.04721 129 96 28 5
1089 When will he realize He’s in my spot 1.2946 0.05209 129 100 20 9
1090 So… just to get it off my chest, I peed on the carpet this morning 1.2946 0.04848 129 97 26 6
1091 Is that a fixed fee or per mouse? 1.2941 0.04681 136 102 28 6
1092 I may be your owner but I'm also your friend. 1.2941 0.05250 119 94 18 7
1093 I fear I have somehow made you even more disdainful. 1.2941 0.05113 119 90 23 6
1094 The purrfect pairing — a cat person and a person cat. 1.2937 0.04530 143 109 27 7
1095 Don't think of this an interrogation. I'm just a man asking a cat if said cat scratched the newly delivered dining room table. 1.2937 0.04517 126 92 31 3
1096 Relax. She won’t be home for hours 1.2937 0.04790 126 94 27 5
1097 I don't appreciate you watching other cats on Instagram" 1.2937 0.04790 126 94 27 5
1098 And I was gonna ask her out, but I didn't have the balls to do it -- no offense 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1099 I think it will pair well with the Fancy Feast. 1.2933 0.04687 150 115 26 9
1100 Right: Red for mice and white for Tweetie birds. 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1101 Do you have any mice on a cracker to go along with this? 1.2932 0.05205 133 104 19 10
1102 Shall we move to the love seat? 1.2931 0.05340 116 89 20 7
1103 At times like this, in this light, you look like a Siamese. 1.2931 0.05613 116 91 16 9
1104 Excellent wine! The cat's whiskers! 1.2931 0.05197 116 90 19 7
1105 You get very catty when you drink wine" 1.2931 0.05745 116 92 14 10
1106 Office Christmas Party: 2020 1.2931 0.05745 116 92 14 10
1107 How 'bout a little nip? 1.2930 0.04264 157 117 34 6
1108 Let's drink to necks. 1.2929 0.05607 99 75 19 5
1109 No I didn’t get out much in the pandemic 1.2929 0.05788 99 76 17 6
1110 Mouse is an acquired taste. 1.2929 0.04914 140 108 23 9
1111 You're right, it does smell like cat pee. 1.2927 0.04656 164 128 24 12
1112 You must be so satisfied with your career now that you've caught the laser dot. 1.2927 0.05382 123 96 18 9
1113 You will love this Zinfandel with anchovy undertones and a strong tuna finish 1.2927 0.05257 123 95 20 8
1114 I thought you were just going in for a facelift… 1.2927 0.04861 123 94 23 6
1115 It's white with chicken and red with mice. 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
1116 Try sipping. Lapping is reserved for chardonnays. 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
1117 You can really taste the notes of judgment. 1.2925 0.06138 106 85 11 10
1118 One more drink and I'll let you touch my belly 1.2925 0.05682 106 82 17 7
1119 You can come come over to my place for catnip another night. 1.2924 0.04285 171 130 32 9
1120 Well, if we aren’t just the cat’s pajamas. 1.2923 0.04690 130 97 28 5
1121 I always knew you weren't an outdoor cat. 1.2923 0.04816 130 98 26 6
1122 I just liked the box. 1.2923 0.04816 130 98 26 6
1123 Well, Helloooo Kitty! 1.2920 0.05134 113 88 20 5
1124 So great to be getting back to normal. 1.2920 0.05853 113 90 13 10
1125 I meant it when I said Fancy Feast. 1.2920 0.04978 113 84 25 4
1126 You know this is more like it. My dog preferred beer in a bowl. 1.2920 0.04535 137 102 30 5
1127 Yes, but in all honesty, everything in this place has a slight bouquet of cat urine. 1.2920 0.04986 137 106 22 9
1128 Now doesn't this beat catnip? 1.2917 0.04644 120 88 29 3
1129 Nice place you have here, Fluffy. 1.2917 0.04714 144 110 26 8
1130 I’m so happy I got you in the divorce settlement Morris! Cheers 1.2917 0.05524 96 72 20 4
1131 Ok,just relax and tell me what happened. 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
1132 The finicky act is getting old. Just try the wine. 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
1133 Well isn’t this the cat’s meow?! 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
1134 They say it can be great to date your best friend. 1.2917 0.05322 96 73 19 4
1135 I have to admit, you look nothing like your profile pic. 1.2917 0.05345 120 95 16 9
1136 I hope you enjoy the toilet water blend. 1.2913 0.05013 127 97 23 7
1137 Which number life are we celebrating? 1.2913 0.04624 127 94 29 4
1138 In college, I once dated a dog. 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
1139 I think we need to talk about how you're drinking your lives away. 1.2913 0.05278 103 77 22 4
1140 Cheer up, there will be other mice.. 1.2910 0.04596 134 100 29 5
1141 I call it meow-rlot. 1.2910 0.04717 134 105 21 8
1142 Have you noticed that we’ve started to look alike? 1.2910 0.05383 134 107 15 12
1143 Can we talk about litter? 1.2910 0.04949 134 103 23 8
1144 I'm feeling a little frisky. 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1145 Have you any idea which life you're on now? 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1146 What do you mean, lonely? 1.2909 0.04892 110 81 26 3
1147 I’m wondering…could you find it in your heart to be a bit more affectionate? 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1148 Are you sure this is what Dr. Green meant when she suggested you socialize? 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1149 Ready for some light petting? 1.2908 0.04562 141 106 29 6
1150 If you like it, next time I'll bring out the good stuff. 1.2906 0.05014 117 88 24 5
1151 It’s a 1998 Bordeaux with tuna and sardine notes. 1.2906 0.04865 117 87 26 4
1152 I've been thinking about inviting another cat over 1.2903 0.04828 124 93 26 5
1153 I told you, you can sleep on the bed after the dog dies. 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
1154 I think you’ll like this. We found a dead mouse in the wine barrel. 1.2903 0.05092 124 95 22 7
1155 it's nice when we socialize outside of office hours 1.2903 0.04828 124 95 23 6
1156 You might want to email the animal shelter a thank-you. 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1157 There's a hint of litter box in the nose. I thought you'd like that. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1158 A couple of more glasses, and yes, I'll get down on all fours. 1.2901 0.05139 131 102 20 9
1159 So, you've had how many lives? 1.2900 0.06079 100 79 13 8
1160 I normally drink alone, but a man with a cat is almost like being alone. 1.2899 0.04623 138 104 28 6
1161 Do you think this red would pair well with mouse? 1.2899 0.04954 138 107 22 9
1162 Wouldn't you like to sit just a little closer? 1.2897 0.05940 107 85 13 9
1163 I'm so happy that we're both left handed 1.2897 0.05145 107 80 23 4
1164 I never wear socks with Sarah 1.2897 0.05145 107 80 23 4
1165 I just want you know... I don't see species. 1.2897 0.05790 107 84 15 8
1166 It’s full-bodied and earthy with a hint of catnip. 1.2897 0.04685 145 111 26 8
1167 So what do you think goes better with mice,red or white? 1.2895 0.04633 152 117 26 9
1168 Stop. We are not going to call this a "cat-burnay". 1.2895 0.05246 114 87 21 6
1169 So, are we friends again? 1.2895 0.04781 114 84 27 3
1170 You're not purring. 1.2895 0.05096 114 86 23 5
1171 So, is there a Mrs. Bojangles? 1.2893 0.04758 121 90 27 4
1172 I find it has a mousy bouquet with hints of tuna. 1.2891 0.04726 128 96 27 5
1173 Your dinner will still be served from a can. 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
1174 Let’s drink to nine lives. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
1175 No matter how much you try to wine and dine me, I am not agreeing to get a dog, Steve. 1.2887 0.05855 97 75 16 6
1176 Full bodied, with hints of oak, raspberry and dead mouse. 1.2886 0.04596 149 114 27 8
1177 Now this is what I mean by cat nip! 1.2885 0.04813 156 123 21 12
1178 Ever since you walked past, it’s been nothing but good luck for me. 1.2885 0.05409 104 79 20 5
1179 Curious? 1.2883 0.05020 111 83 24 4
1180 Sure, you're an alcoholic and you're about to shred my new sofa, but you're still my Mr. Whiskers 1.2883 0.05181 111 84 22 5
1181 I'm glad you can finally unwind after spending the last nine hours curled up on the sunny window sill. 1.2883 0.05488 111 86 18 7
1182 Can we just skip over the first 8 lives 1.2883 0.05337 111 85 20 6
1183 Now, about your claws. 1.2883 0.05020 111 83 24 4
1184 Cats - so you never have to drink alone! 1.2883 0.05020 111 83 24 4
1185 Actually, I’m a dog person so this will be interesting. 1.2881 0.04830 118 88 26 4
1186 Are you enjoying your Purrgundy? 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
1187 How is it after all this time that I’m just discovering you love Zinfandel? 1.2880 0.05306 125 98 18 9
1188 Nothing like a little catnip. 1.2879 0.04873 132 101 24 7
1189 So, um, funny icebreaker here. Neither of us seem to have a neck. 1.2879 0.04873 132 101 24 7
1190 Well I don't think it tastes like cat piss. 1.2879 0.04753 132 100 26 6
1191 So much better than zoom happy hour. 1.2879 0.04629 132 99 28 5
1192 Teach me your secret to always landing on your feet. 1.2879 0.04873 132 101 24 7
1193 Now you say, "Gee Lloyd, you have excellent taste in Champagne." 1.2878 0.04706 139 106 26 7
1194 One glass in, I'm ready for a little cat nap 1.2878 0.05130 139 110 18 11
1195 The mouthfeel might be a tad rough but just wait for the sardine finish. 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1196 My mom set this up. Are you really the cat's meow? 1.2877 0.04952 146 115 20 11
1197 So, you weren't lying to me, you were actually cat-fishing me. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
1198 Fido won't be joining us; this is his poker night. 1.2872 0.05978 94 73 15 6
1199 Relax. Wine won’t make you sterile. Or feral. 1.2872 0.05583 94 71 19 4
1200 Are you out of the bag, or half in it? 1.2872 0.05978 94 73 15 6
1201 This is so much fun! You’re such a great listener. We should do this again some time. 1.2871 0.05688 101 78 17 6
1202 You don't seem that feral to me. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1203 Fido? We're only friends. Man's best friend. Nothing more. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1204 So you wanted to talk? 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1205 I knew you'd like it. It's a mouscatel. 1.2870 0.05206 115 88 21 6
1206 It's okay to be on the furniture. Just don't sit like that. 1.2870 0.05057 115 87 23 5
1207 I added a bit of catnip to yours. 1.2870 0.05491 115 90 17 8
1208 And how does taking a bath make you feel? 1.2870 0.05057 115 87 23 5
1209 And to think my friends thought this would be ridiculous. 1.2869 0.04866 122 92 25 5
1210 Why, yes, I suppose I do resemble a scratching post. 1.2869 0.05137 122 94 21 7
1211 I’m sorry I embarrassed you at the Richman’s,…next time I’ll wear a tie. But did you have to eat their daughters hamster? 1.2869 0.05004 122 93 23 6
1212 I saw you stealing poop from my litter box again… 1.2869 0.05267 122 95 19 8
1213 you're not like most of the cats I meet 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
1214 I don't miss her as much as I thought I would. 1.2868 0.04694 129 97 27 5
1215 So tell me, what is your pet peeve? 1.2868 0.04564 129 96 29 4
1216 So...shall we grill the goldfish tonight? 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1217 I'm getting notes of wet dog. 1.2868 0.04657 136 103 27 6
1218 Trust me, they say "cat piss" but really it's the sulfur compounds that give it that smell. 1.2867 0.04720 143 110 25 8
1219 Go on, you only live once 1.2867 0.04772 143 113 20 10
1220 I thought for a change we could try this instead of the saucers of milk we always have. 1.2867 0.04570 150 115 27 8
1221 What do you mean, "I’m not drinking any f**@%# merlot!" 1.2857 0.04827 147 115 22 10
1222 So do you like dogs? 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
1223 You don’t have a dog, do you? 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
1224 It was going great until I told her about all of our conversations. 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
1225 Mmmm. A hint of squirrel with a slight afterthought of mouse. 1.2857 0.04293 154 116 32 6
1226 No, no, I don't think having a drink with me undermines your sense of feline mystery. 1.2857 0.05488 119 94 16 9
1227 Absolutely. We don't have to use your crate to go to your vet appointment. 1.2857 0.04335 140 107 28 5
1228 So, have you got any hobbies? 1.2857 0.05012 105 80 21 4
1229 Look on the bright side...you lose your job, your apartment, investments go belly up, your partner leaves, yet you still manage to land on your feet. 1.2857 0.04677 140 107 26 7
1230 You’ll like the bouquet; it has hints of catnip and a clean litter box. 1.2857 0.04630 147 113 26 8
1231 Cheers, Fido's gone for good. 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
1232 This is how i sleep 18 hours a day! 1.2857 0.04424 147 111 30 6
1233 Never thought a therapy cat was actually helpful. 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
1234 This Malbec would pair nicely with a field mouse. 1.2857 0.05222 119 92 20 7
1235 This would pair well with tuna, chicken liver, or mouse sashimi. 1.2857 0.04600 133 100 28 5
1236 Looks like she took my sweater and left you. 1.2857 0.05191 105 79 22 4
1237 Don’t expect this every time you bring me a mouse. 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
1238 A hint of kitty litter with a finish of catnip 1.2857 0.04528 147 115 24 8
1239 No really. It’s better in a wine glass. 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
1240 Your dating profile said you were “one cool cat” but I didn’t realize that was a literal description. 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
1241 I promise, I won’t move my hand at the last second this time 1.2857 0.04487 126 101 18 7
1242 One more and then a catnap! 1.2848 0.04759 158 125 21 12
1243 This may be the wine talking, but can I scratch you behind the ears? 1.2848 0.04826 151 119 21 11
1244 I want to thank you for being my go-to person during the COVID-19 lockdowns. 1.2847 0.04258 144 107 33 4
1245 We should do this more often 1.2847 0.04963 137 107 21 9
1246 It would go well with parakeet 1.2847 0.04854 137 106 23 8
1247 This is a bonding experience between friends. Similar in nature to the bird heads you leave on my pillow… 1.2846 0.05032 130 101 21 8
1248 This is Pinot. You got that? Pee-no? I've been wanting to talk about our litter-box issue. And there's more where this came from. 1.2846 0.04912 130 100 23 7
1249 You put the ‘chat’ in chateau, Mademoiselle 1.2846 0.05264 130 103 17 10
1250 I won’t tell your mom if you won’t tell my mom. 1.2846 0.04790 130 99 25 6
1251 Given your shelter history, I would ask you to sign a prenup. 1.2846 0.05479 123 98 15 10
1252 Catfishing 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
1253 You swallow your hair. You can drink wine from a box. 1.2845 0.05020 116 88 23 5
1254 I’m sorry, but I really wouldn’t call you a SEX kitten. 1.2845 0.05020 116 88 23 5
1255 Well in cat years, you’re 21.” 1.2844 0.05064 109 82 23 4
1256 I've made sacrifices for you, too, you know. 1.2844 0.05064 109 82 23 4
1257 Don't fret. When lockdown ends the mice will return. 1.2844 0.05229 109 83 21 5
1258 Well, what a coincidence. I stay inside, too. 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1259 Here's to a happy and healthy nine lives ! 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1260 The kittens aren't grateful for anything. 1.2838 0.04292 148 111 32 5
1261 You don’t look much like your profile 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
1262 I think we should get a dog. 1.2837 0.04425 141 106 30 5
1263 Look, quarantine was two years ago. Maybe it’s time to start meeting PEOPLE again, yeah? 1.2837 0.04965 141 111 20 10
1264 You'll like it. It's a catbernet. 1.2835 0.05350 127 103 13 11
1265 Maybe you could just embrace your felinity. 1.2835 0.04315 127 95 29 3
1266 You looked taller in your profile pic. 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
1267 There’s nothing like a nice glass of wine with a chaser. 1.2835 0.04860 127 97 24 6
1268 While we wait for her to finish primping, tell me what do you do? 1.2835 0.04596 127 95 28 4
1269 Well today I mostly scratched the couch and the drapes, so a pretty normal day, how about yourself? 1.2835 0.05111 127 99 20 8
1270 My offer of the 'hair of the dog that bit you' wasn't literal, Fluffy . 1.2833 0.05574 120 96 14 10
1271 Is this a Sauvignon blanc or did you just pee on the couch? 1.2833 0.05447 120 95 16 9
1272 Seriously?? Did you just say ‘here, kitty-kitty’?! 1.2833 0.05046 120 92 22 6
1273 My last cat was emotionally unavailable. 1.2832 0.05254 113 87 20 6
1274 My wife doesn’t understand me. 1.2832 0.04944 113 85 24 4
1275 See? This is how you take your feelings out on a couch. 1.2830 0.05487 106 82 18 6
1276 No, I don’t think this red wine will diminish the canned salmon flavor. 1.2828 0.04765 145 113 23 9
1277 Now, YOU tell me about your last life? 1.2828 0.04344 145 109 31 5
1278 In my fantasy, I get me some pussy. 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1279 And this is how I enjoy the sofa. Isn't this so much better than clawing it to death? 1.2824 0.04633 131 99 27 5
1280 Is this Pinot Meowir? 1.2824 0.04758 131 100 25 6
1281 The couch does look cleaner, but the toupee is a bit much. 1.2823 0.05192 124 97 19 8
1282 I’d call you a cab but you live here forever now. 1.2823 0.05192 124 97 19 8
1283 Sorry,this may be the wine talking,but has anyone ever told you that you look like Humpty Dumpty? 1.2823 0.05065 124 96 21 7
1284 I’ve been waiting to get your opinion on the latest T. S. Eliot. 1.2821 0.05543 117 93 15 9
1285 I thought it might be nice to talk while Mitzi’s at the groomer. 1.2821 0.04982 117 89 23 5
1286 I thought you liked mewlot. 1.2821 0.04982 117 89 23 5
1287 Covid restrictions are over,so you need to use the litter box again and drink out of a bowl. 1.2821 0.05408 117 92 17 8
1288 I’ve read this is an excellent lapping wine. 1.2821 0.05128 117 90 21 6
1289 Wine got your tongue? 1.2818 0.05346 110 85 19 6
1290 It’s okay, the dog’s out for the night. 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
1291 It's a Mus-CAT-tel, get it? 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
1292 The guy at the wine store said it was a great pairing for Fancy Feast. 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
1293 How about you, any luck on the caption contest? 1.2817 0.04727 142 110 24 8
1294 After dessert do you think she’ll prefer the laser pointer or roomba ride? 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1295 At moments like this I don’t even think of you as a cat. 1.2815 0.04661 135 103 26 6
1296 We don't do this enough. 1.2812 0.04953 128 99 22 7
1297 I think you will enjoy this some of the more subtle notes come from a mouse that fell in the vat. 1.2812 0.04565 128 98 25 5
1298 Just say ‘meow’ if I’m boring you. 1.2812 0.04698 128 97 26 5
1299 I thought we'd stay in tonight, but let me know if you'd rather go out or pace by the door contemplating it. 1.2812 0.04698 128 97 26 5
1300 You know Brian, the new scratches on the sofa really give the place a “lived in” feel. 1.2812 0.04953 128 99 22 7
1301 Remember last time, when the wine turned *me* into a cat? 1.2812 0.05195 128 101 18 9
1302 Come on, if I was trying to do that I would have given you catnip. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
1303 I'm feline good. Are you? 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
1304 And that’s how I met your mother. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
1305 It's so refreshing to see a cat out of the bag. Cheers! 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
1306 Nothin' like a big glass of fish oil to close out the day, eh bud? 1.2808 0.04932 146 116 19 11
1307 I think this milk went bad 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
1308 We could stay in again? 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
1309 I’m really glad we’re finally spending some time together. 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
1310 You’ve been so busy. I’ve been so busy. How about we stay in? 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
1311 I never thought my ninth life would be this good. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1312 The citrus notes are from the short spring. The full body comes from the iron rich soil. The chocolate notes on the back of the tongue are because I used the vineyard as my litter box. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1313 I've found a new best friend. He's a dog. 1.2804 0.04932 107 80 24 3
1314 You'll thank me one day, Bella, for giving away all six of them. 1.2804 0.05108 107 81 22 4
1315 It’s a real rat race out there. 1.2804 0.05602 107 84 16 7
1316 May I call you Kitty? 1.2804 0.05277 107 82 20 5
1317 Relaxed? I'm getting a dog. 1.2803 0.04965 132 103 21 8
1318 Feels like we both got catfished. 1.2803 0.04344 132 98 31 3
1319 It is actually a Catbernet 1.2803 0.04475 132 99 29 4
1320 It's remarkable what you manage to do without an opposable thumb. 1.2800 0.04646 150 117 24 9
1321 You know, it’s funny, I’m usually not a cat person. 1.2800 0.04899 125 96 23 6
1322 The pizza should be here any minute. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1323 Are you by chance related to Schrödinger’s cat? 1.2797 0.05231 118 92 19 7
1324 I’m not trying to get you drunk, but that's a rather expensive cabernet you're not drinking. 1.2796 0.05993 93 73 14 6
1325 Full disclosure - my ex is a dog." 1.2794 0.04972 136 107 20 9
1326 See? We're not so different after all. 1.2794 0.04390 136 102 30 4
1327 It's bold with a hint of catnip. 1.2793 0.05303 111 86 19 6
1328 I take it you're an indoor cat? 1.2793 0.05303 111 86 19 6
1329 It’s twelve steps to sobriety, but you’re just two from my lap. 1.2793 0.05604 111 88 15 8
1330 It’s nice to get away from the rat race. 1.2793 0.05303 111 86 19 6
1331 Thanks for the wine but I won't clean your litter box twice a day. 1.2792 0.04171 154 116 33 5
1332 This is the tenth bottle of wine I've opened. Maybe you'll like this one. 1.2792 0.04466 154 122 24 8
1333 We never get the chance to just unwind and talk. 1.2791 0.04399 129 96 30 3
1334 If you'll come closer, I'll say the magic word again and the spell will be lifted. 1.2791 0.05041 129 101 20 8
1335 I was hoping you might want to slip into those Louboutin boots a bit later… 1.2791 0.04794 129 99 24 6
1336 Call me a wine snob, but I’ll need to call human control if you serve me this crap again, Steve. 1.2791 0.04794 129 99 24 6
1337 You seemed to like it when it was in my glass…. 1.2788 0.05372 104 80 19 5
1338 Yes, I knew that the dog only drinks white wine when I brought this bottle 1.2788 0.05543 104 81 17 6
1339 And one for the hair of the dog that bit ya. 1.2787 0.05239 122 96 18 8
1340 Why aren’t you wearing the matching pajama set I got you? 1.2787 0.04974 122 94 22 6
1341 You’re not like the others. 1.2787 0.04836 122 93 24 5
1342 Let’s get this family meeting started. 1.2787 0.05109 122 95 20 7
1343 I left some string back in the bedroom. 1.2786 0.04869 140 110 21 9
1344 So you see, a cat can jump on the furniture in a relaxed and civilized manner. 1.2786 0.04762 140 109 23 8
1345 I have to warn you. After two drinks I expect heavy petting. 1.2786 0.04427 140 106 29 5
1346 So, how was your day? 1.2784 0.05231 97 73 21 3
1347 Reason #4 why your cat has diabetes. 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
1348 So this is your eighth life? 1.2783 0.04197 115 87 26 2
1349 So, do you pet on the first date? 1.2782 0.05046 133 105 19 9
1350 I only drink Meow-lot. 1.2782 0.05158 133 106 17 10
1351 Drink up, you only live once. 1.2781 0.04322 151 115 30 6
1352 I'm getting notes of self-pity and obsession 1.2778 0.05235 108 83 20 5
1353 Well, no one can say my date is a dog! 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1354 Nothin like wine and pussy. 1.2778 0.04873 144 114 20 10
1355 If you let it breathe, the tuna notes start to come through. 1.2778 0.04669 144 112 24 8
1356 I would really prefer a dry chardonnay. 1.2778 0.05556 108 85 16 7
1357 After this drink, I need a good night’s sleep. Don’t sit on my face tonight, okay? 1.2778 0.05709 108 86 14 8
1358 Don’t worry, I’ll let you knock it over before we go to bed. 1.2778 0.04772 144 113 22 9
1359 I swear to god I thought you'd like the mouse. 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1360 Pairs well with canary. 1.2773 0.05327 119 94 17 8
1361 You know, before the ‘60’s this wouldn’t have been possible. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
1362 With a dog, you throw it a bone and it's fine. 1.2773 0.05327 119 94 17 8
1363 If he brings up Crypto again I’m going to scratch his cornea 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
1364 Here’s to hair of the dog. 1.2773 0.04910 119 96 15 8
1365 And then she said 'I'm allergic to humans' and that was that. 1.2773 0.04453 119 88 29 2
1366 So why don't we talk about your first 8 lives? 1.2770 0.04580 148 115 25 8
1367 No, this one does not come with a goldfish. 1.2769 0.04886 130 101 22 7
1368 This is a couch. It is for sitting, not scratching. Understood? 1.2769 0.04886 130 101 22 7
1369 I think you'll like it. The bottle has a bird on it. 1.2769 0.04505 130 98 28 4
1370 you realize I am a cat, don't you?. 1.2769 0.04886 130 101 22 7
1371 I don’t really think our height difference will be an issue. 1.2768 0.05107 112 86 21 5
1372 I love your neckless. 1.2768 0.05107 112 86 21 5
1373 I really thought more people would show up for wine night. 1.2768 0.04947 112 85 23 4
1374 I understood two years ago in lockdown but now it’s just awkward 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
1375 Let's take the relationship to the next level... I'm the owner...you're the cat... 1.2762 0.05152 105 80 21 4
1376 Actually, I’m more of a dog person, but sometimes fate intervenes. 1.2762 0.04972 105 79 23 3
1377 Do that thing where you lick yourself. 1.2761 0.04543 134 102 27 5
1378 There's also fresh mouse under the couch. Please, help yourself. 1.2761 0.04418 134 101 29 4
1379 What a day. Are you still working from home? 1.2761 0.04543 134 102 27 5
1380 Drinking wine and feeline fine are we? 1.2759 0.04344 116 85 30 1
1381 Does this taste like cat piss to you? 1.2759 0.05419 116 92 16 8
1382 I like that you allow humans on the couch. 1.2759 0.05135 116 90 20 6
1383 So..what’s your sign? 1.2759 0.05279 116 91 18 7
1384 I know you're going to take over my apartment, but I still can't put you on the lease. 1.2759 0.05135 116 90 20 6
1385 I'm definitely getting notes of honeysuckle and catnip here 1.2759 0.05135 116 90 20 6
1386 I'm just saying - if you can hold a wineglass, I think you can keep your asshole off the couch. 1.2759 0.05419 116 92 16 8
1387 So, I thought ‘Why not chill out a bit before dealing with the topic of hairballs.’ 1.2756 0.04497 127 98 24 5
1388 Yes, after tomorrow, you'll truly be non-binary. 1.2756 0.05205 127 101 17 9
1389 I just want to apologize for what I said when the Johnson’s were here. Of course it’s your sofa. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
1390 You had me at ‘whatever.’ 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
1391 Woody, with a hint of urine. 1.2754 0.04456 138 107 25 6
1392 I know. It's probably too dry for you, but the finish is perfect! 1.2752 0.04676 109 81 26 2
1393 The vet said one glass a day is good for your heart 1.2752 0.05193 109 84 20 5
1394 Do you mind if we video this for Youtube? 1.2750 0.04422 120 89 29 2
1395 You’re younger than your profile picture. 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1396 Mousy bouquet, don't you think? 1.2750 0.04728 120 91 25 4
1397 Is this your first post Covid party as well? 1.2750 0.05288 120 95 17 8
1398 This changes it from ‘gray area’ to ‘social’. 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1399 So now that you’re comfortable, I was thinking we could discuss your share of the rent… 1.2748 0.04972 131 103 20 8
1400 Who needs friends anyways, right Toby? 1.2748 0.04475 131 99 28 4
1401 When you hid my medicine in cheese it was desperate. Hiding it in this it’s creepy 1.2748 0.05089 131 104 18 9
1402 I’m glad I started letting you sit on the couch, this is really nice. 1.2747 0.05198 91 68 21 2
1403 The review said "aromas of cat pee". What's your expert opinion? 1.2746 0.04486 142 109 27 6
1404 Sorry! I’m talking too much. So what have you been up to? 1.2746 0.04596 142 110 25 7
1405 How am I the one who gets catfished? 1.2745 0.05242 102 78 20 4
1406 No hurry, but I saw that silly mouse again... 1.2745 0.05771 102 81 14 7
1407 You look nothing like your Tinder photo. 1.2745 0.05771 102 81 14 7
1408 I'm hoping the Zinfindel will make you less indifferent. 1.2743 0.05221 113 88 19 6
1409 He just threw the bird away? You deserve better. 1.2743 0.04575 113 86 24 3
1410 I’m sorry, I didn’t know what kind of wine paired best with hairball. 1.2743 0.05370 113 89 17 7
1411 OK, I feel like I understand your needs. I’m trying but I am only human, you know. 1.2742 0.04904 124 96 22 6
1412 It's a bit weird that neither one of us has a neck. 1.2742 0.05164 124 98 18 8
1413 Since they let you out of the bag and you started drinking wine with me again, I've notice that you aren't as aloof as you used to be. 1.2742 0.04336 124 96 24 4
1414 The sommelier assured me this was the cat's meow. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1415 I’m really more of a dog person. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1416 And later maybe we could scratch the shit out of the sofa. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1417 So tell me again how you and the owl split the five pound note. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1418 They say it has notes of cat pee on gooseberry bush. 1.2741 0.04867 135 106 21 8
1419 This is much nicer with the dog outside. 1.2740 0.04613 146 114 24 8
1420 I know this is forward, but would you like to sleep over at the foot of my bed? 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
1421 I still like the cork better 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
1422 It's hair of the dog. 1.2736 0.05451 106 83 17 6
1423 It's no cardboard box, but it's home 1.2736 0.05771 106 85 13 8
1424 Yes,there is a subtle hint of cat piss 1.2736 0.04931 106 82 20 4
1425 I am so, so, so glad you came out from under the couch! 1.2736 0.05451 106 83 17 6
1426 There’s a small ball of yarn in my pocket. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
1427 Do you detect notes of dead mouse” 1.2735 0.05378 117 93 16 8
1428 Mmmm this Purrlot is better than I expected. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
1429 Big deal, I can't wear a necklace, you can't wear a leash. 1.2735 0.04481 117 92 20 5
1430 You know,I was never able to do this with the dog. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
1431 I find red makes for a better hairball. 1.2734 0.04309 139 105 30 4
1432 I know you’re a cat, but I’m pretty sure cheese on a mouse trap is how you catch a mouse. 1.2733 0.04624 150 118 23 9
1433 Hey, there. How about some fur play? 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
1434 Milo, meet Merlot. 1.2727 0.04979 121 94 21 6
1435 You look fluffier in your picture. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1436 Oh, l’m sorry. I’m you misunderstood. I said all my friends were “nice”. 1.2727 0.04979 121 94 21 6
1437 You know, I used to be such a dog person. 1.2727 0.04446 132 100 28 4
1438 Mittens became suspect of the cat sitters intentions #meowtoo 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1439 I know that, as a human being , I'll never be able to meet your high standards, but I will give it my best. 1.2727 0.05249 121 96 17 8
1440 This very same wine cost twice as much at the pet store. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
1441 Floral. Notes of catnip. Your turn. 1.2727 0.04446 132 100 28 4
1442 I detect notes of salmon, sardine . . . and just a waft of anchovy. You? 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1443 So tell me, what do you hate to do for fun? 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
1444 Look, I’m not going to say it’s not going to happen again - your gym bag looks like a litter box. But I promise, no malice was intended 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
1445 My last date didn’t go so well- after one glass they were baying at the moon. 1.2727 0.04839 121 93 23 5
1446 …..hearty overtones of Fancy Feast and tuna. 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
1447 Now that the pandemic is subsiding, I'm afraid I'll be spending my happy hour with others now. 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1448 It's been so long since I have had a house guest this is wonderful! 1.2721 0.04362 136 103 29 4
1449 Calling this drink a Catatonic is spot on! I can't move. 1.2720 0.04454 125 94 28 3
1450 I’m serving a Catalan wine in your honor. 1.2720 0.04869 125 97 22 6
1451 Don't spill a drop. She'll be home after the concert. We won't mention your being on the couch with your bare bum. 1.2719 0.05328 114 90 17 7
1452 Trust me, you'll appreciate the white wine with your fish. 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
1453 To you,my pet. 1.2719 0.04871 114 87 23 4
1454 and then she said "you're cat doesn't count as a therapist"... 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
1455 What are the chances we are both fluent in Swedish? 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
1456 So, are you fully vaccinated? 1.2719 0.05472 114 91 15 8
1457 Alexa, play Taylor Swift. 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
1458 …so anyways, I told my Mom, “no, I don’t think my dating practices have changed any since the Pandemic…” 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
1459 You know,I canceled the date for you 1.2718 0.05885 103 83 12 8
1460 Now pretend you don't live here and you just stopped by for the first time in over two years. 1.2718 0.05552 103 81 16 6
1461 Open a bottle with notes of human pee and then let’s see what you think. 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1462 Enjoying the catbernet? 1.2715 0.04500 151 118 25 8
1463 Its earthy, full-bodied tones pair well with mouse. 1.2715 0.04401 151 120 23 8
1464 You wanted LITTER? You could have made that a lot clearer before I went out and bought Twitter... 1.2714 0.04950 140 112 18 10
1465 Let's just say you left a few things out of your profile. 1.2713 0.04637 129 99 25 5
1466 I would never drink alone. 1.2713 0.04766 129 100 23 6
1467 Do you often give your cats wine during the first adoption trial? 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1468 I think you'll enjoy the blatant tuna and chicken notes. 1.2710 0.05069 107 82 21 4
1469 I'll bet you've had some interesting lives. 1.2710 0.04708 107 80 25 2
1470 To a claw free couch. 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
1471 Do YOU have any problems with “Fetch!”? 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1472 Do you ever wonder if you're just living in the opening of a GEICO commercial? 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
1473 Gosh, a glass of wine turns you so catty. 1.2708 0.04749 144 114 21 9
1474 You see, this way I don't have to drink alone. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
1475 The only thing that should come in a box is kitty litter, remember that next time. 1.2708 0.06012 96 77 12 7
1476 The vintner told me this Syrah is the cat's meow. Let's see if he was right! 1.2708 0.04540 144 112 25 7
1477 You don't look like a fan of humannip. 1.2707 0.04417 133 103 25 5
1478 It goes nice with mice. 1.2707 0.04286 133 100 30 3
1479 Google it. “Cat piss” IS a wine characteristic. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1480 Another night in Gay Purry 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
1481 Kill anything playfully today, honey? 1.2705 0.05079 122 96 19 7
1482 I'm sorry to hear about your analyst. Have you tried catnip? 1.2705 0.04804 122 94 23 5
1483 It's Abyssinian. 1.2705 0.04804 122 94 23 5
1484 It's just us now, Felix. 1.2705 0.05210 122 97 17 8
1485 How do you say Cheers! in Persian?” 1.2703 0.04779 111 88 18 5
1486 How do you like your meow-rlot? 1.2703 0.05269 111 87 18 6
1487 We must stop meeting like this 1.2703 0.05269 111 87 18 6
1488 I like the tuna aftertaste. 1.2701 0.03836 174 132 37 5
1489 You're right- it's light-bodied, oaky with an apricot nose and a cat-nippy finish! 1.2701 0.04335 137 104 29 4
1490 Did you say nip or nap?? 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
1491 We’ve decided to go with the ceramic cat. 1.2700 0.05478 100 78 17 5
1492 Well at least Trump is gone...cheers 1.2698 0.05091 126 100 18 8
1493 Do you detect a faint hint of catnip that pairs nicely with canned tuna? 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1494 Let's share a box. 1.2698 0.04424 126 95 28 3
1495 Your saucer didn’t seem right for the occasion. 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
1496 Albert Schweitzer was correct! 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
1497 ‘Does this wine make my neck look fat?’ 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
1498 ...and I made micearoni and cheese for dinner. 1.2695 0.04708 141 111 22 8
1499 It’s from the Purrrgundy region. 1.2695 0.04488 141 109 26 6
1500 Am I picking up notes of currants or do I need to change the litter box today? 1.2692 0.05333 104 83 15 6
1501 Think of it as hair of the dog 1.2692 0.05155 104 80 20 4
1502 Mother was wrong about us. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
1503 I have to go back in person on Monday so you’ll have the run of the place 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
1504 Trust me, it’s better than milk. 1.2690 0.04512 145 113 25 7
1505 One more week without a hairball and you get to sit at the table. 1.2689 0.05161 119 94 18 7
1506 I have this irresistible urge to pat you. 1.2689 0.05021 119 93 20 6
1507 I'm not that kind of cat. 1.2689 0.04253 119 88 30 1
1508 I thought you'd like this more than a drive in my car with your head out the window. I 've never had a cat before. 1.2689 0.05297 119 95 16 8
1509 I know it's cuddle time, but we really need to talk about the hair balls 1.2689 0.04728 119 91 24 4
1510 We’re alone again. 1.2689 0.05021 119 93 20 6
1511 Wow, small world....I also have a brother named Tom and he also lives off the alley. 1.2688 0.05542 93 72 17 4
1512 After two years of isolation, it’s nice to finally not socialize with people by choice. 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
1513 Did not pair well with the fish". "Last time I listen to that sommelier" 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1514 So take me from the beginning….it was a hot July day….your owners were at the beach, and the milk in your saucer had curdled… 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
1515 My last cat used to sit here, right beside me. 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
1516 Mom says I'm too introverted but it's not like I don't know how to have a good time, you know? 1.2685 0.04482 108 80 27 1
1517 Yes, it did come out of a box, but I think you're going to be pleasantly surprised. 1.2685 0.05675 108 87 13 8
1518 You think your bathroom is gross? 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
1519 The shelter said I should get to know you. 1.2683 0.04482 123 93 27 3
1520 It MIGHT go well with mouse. 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1521 I'm getting notes of mouse and furball 1.2683 0.04770 123 95 23 5
1522 Don't be such a pussy, just try it. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
1523 And now I'm not drinking alone! That means I couldn't possibly be an alcoholic like Marjorie says I am, right Professor Fluffyboots? 1.2683 0.05042 123 97 19 7
1524 I'm getting hints of tuna and liver. You? 1.2681 0.04308 138 105 29 4
1525 We need to talk about us. 1.2681 0.04546 138 107 25 6
1526 Have you ever considered waxing? 1.2681 0.04883 138 110 19 9
1527 Don't think this makes up for getting the puppy. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1528 I'm glad you didn't feel the need to shave your legs on my account. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1529 I’m glad we’re finally doing this. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1530 I made eye contact with her just like you said… And then I knocked her orange juice right off the table! 1.2679 0.05526 112 90 14 8
1531 I quite like the wine but find the label Chat Noir somewhat offensive 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1532 Before I sign the adoption papers, can we try to cuddle? 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1533 I think you’ll agree it pairs perfectly with tuna 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1534 At the very end you’ll get a hint of kibble 1.2677 0.05055 127 101 18 8
1535 Despite the lack of an opposable thumb, Mitzi felt the date was going quite well.” ” 1.2677 0.04670 127 98 24 5
1536 Now, isn’t this better than catting around? 1.2677 0.04670 127 98 24 5
1537 Pussy Fuisse 1.2677 0.04670 127 98 24 5
1538 The bouquet has notes of catnip. 1.2677 0.04802 127 99 22 6
1539 Try not to spill this one. 1.2676 0.04347 142 109 28 5
1540 It’s such a relief not to drink alone. 1.2676 0.04888 142 114 18 10
1541 This is the nicest Chablis you've ever dragged in. 1.2676 0.04784 142 113 20 9
1542 I'm not saying "don't lick your asshole". Just don't do it while my parents are here this weekend. That's all I ask. 1.2673 0.05052 101 77 21 3
1543 No one else listens to me! 1.2673 0.05430 101 79 17 5
1544 I want to discuss controlling the pet population... 1.2673 0.05052 101 77 21 3
1545 I think you’re really not giving the dog enough credit. You’ve watched the same true crime documentaries as me: maybe the mailman really IS dangerous. 1.2673 0.05610 101 80 15 6
1546 Gerome, I'm sorry to say this to you, but I am ready to see other humans. 1.2673 0.05430 101 79 17 5
1547 You identify as a cat real well 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1548 Cheers! I'm now on the local school board. What did you think of 'Maus'? 1.2672 0.05101 116 93 16 7
1549 Wine Spectator opined that this one had “notes of cat pee,” but I wanted your honest opinion. 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1550 An impertinent little red with notes of catnip: don't you agree? 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1551 Even nine lives is too short to drink this. 1.2672 0.05387 116 93 15 8
1552 You swirl it, releasing the bouquet. The mice come out. Now be sure you offer to play jazz or reggae records! They like that. They sip. You dance. Then you pounce. 1.2672 0.05177 131 106 15 10
1553 …with just a hint of fish heads. Do you like it? 1.2672 0.04702 131 102 23 6
1554 You look different from your Tinder profile. 1.2671 0.04485 146 114 25 7
1555 All this time, I can’t believe I never asked if you liked wine. 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
1556 Is this your first time swiping right, other than at a ball of yarn? 1.2667 0.04694 120 92 24 4
1557 I don't care if it caresses the palate like a Persian cat's tail and has a panther-like intensity: I'm not drinking it. 1.2667 0.04841 120 95 19 6
1558 You’re sitting up, that’s so weird. 1.2667 0.04486 135 104 26 5
1559 You may like the undertones of catnip, overlayed with a hint of tuna. 1.2667 0.04504 150 118 24 8
1560 It pairs well with tuna. 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
1561 If you move in, this will be yours to destroy” 1.2667 0.06281 90 73 10 7
1562 Come on, just a little nip. 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
1563 I enjoyed the play your people made. Did you ever meet Mr. T.S. Eliot yourself? 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1564 So… this is new, Chuck. 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
1565 Thanks for making tonight special. It just felt like we were becoming roommates. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1566 To enhance flavour, mice are allowed to nibble the grapes during fermentation 1.2662 0.04958 139 112 17 10
1567 Help me and the dog gets blamed for everything. 1.2661 0.05135 124 99 17 8
1568 And since we’re being honest now, Eric, I know you THINK it’s funny but I don’t appreciate you telling your friends how old I am in dog years. 1.2661 0.04596 124 95 25 4
1569 "I know…and you looked a lot taller in your profile." 1.2661 0.04737 124 96 23 5
1570 I know you prefer white, but this is all I had on hand. 1.2661 0.04596 124 95 25 4
1571 OK! I'll try to get a drier cab next time! 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
1572 "First wine then twine just for you." 1.2661 0.05628 109 88 13 8
1573 You'll notice the hint of salmon with the undertones of catnip 1.2661 0.04814 109 83 23 3
1574 Can you live like there’s no tomorrow when you have 9 lives? 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
1575 Did you slip catnip into my drink? I think I'm falling in love. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1576 It’s not you, I’m just ready to see other people. 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
1577 …with notes of bird and dead mouse and a curious finish. 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
1578 Sorry, I had to take the goldfish out" 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1579 Jellicles: unworthy or just really, really, really misunderstood? 1.2655 0.05336 113 90 16 7
1580 It’s not drinking alone if it's with your cat, right? 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1581 ‘the dog can never know.´ 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1582 I'm sure everyone asks you this, but how excited were you when the Wordle was "purrs"? 1.2653 0.05139 98 75 20 3
1583 It strikes me odd that you get to be naked. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1584 I totally understand how the term 'catfishing' is offensive. I am just saying that you don't look exactly like your profile picture. 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1585 Well, as you can see, I am completely alive; No thanks to Mr Schrodinger. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1586 I know you caught the mouse, but you still can't drink until you're two. 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1587 You know I’m just a cat, right? 1.2653 0.04458 147 115 25 7
1588 The Nose is a bit off 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1589 You're allergic to dogs too? How funny. 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1590 So tell me, How do you really like living here? 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1591 I think you'll like this one. Note the hint of tuna. 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1592 Let me slip into something more lickable. 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
1593 So are you going to drink that, or just spill it on the couch on purpose? 1.2647 0.05383 102 80 17 5
1594 Mr. Fluffybutt eyed the garbage merlot, sighed, and again tried to tune out Jerry’s incessant prattling. Oh, how Mr. Fluffybutt loathed these cocktail events. Damn his serotonin-release dependence on Jerry’s praise and high-quality stomach scritches. 1.2647 0.05200 102 81 16 5
1595 After two years of no other human contact, you seem a little upset with me tonight. Perhaps the wrong choice of wine? 1.2647 0.04810 136 108 20 8
1596 You don't look a bit like your profile picture! 1.2647 0.05899 102 83 11 8
1597 You have to swish it first before you put your paw in it and knock it over. 1.2647 0.05383 102 80 17 5
1598 You are much shorter without your boots 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
1599 I don't mean to stereotype but i've always thought of cats as white wine people. 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
1600 This is very nice, but I’m still really a dog person! 1.2647 0.04695 136 107 22 7
1601 Catmus is a full-bodied wine with hints of anchovy, mouse and intractable aloofness” (@khollna 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
1602 I spoke to the cat in apartment 4b. Lockdown’s over Gary. You’ve been lying to me. 1.2647 0.04695 136 107 22 7
1603 Dogs tend to drink beer. 1.2645 0.04660 121 93 24 4
1604 I find it to be quite approachable and unpretentious, unlike you. 1.2644 0.06217 87 70 11 6
1605 A cat hair in your glass bothers you? 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
1606 This may be our last glass of the pandemic. 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1607 Not exactly the nip I had in mind for you. 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1608 Would you prefer a saucer instead? 1.2640 0.04420 125 95 27 3
1609 You'll like this one. It has an aroma of berries, cedar and yarn. 1.2640 0.04970 125 99 19 7
1610 Fur ball got your tongue? 1.2637 0.05813 91 72 14 5
1611 So, Garfield, is it? 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
1612 What are your thoughts on a matching, mid-century modern scratching post? 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
1613 Google translated that 'meow' as I'll have what you're having... 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
1614 I’m saving this seat for loneliness. 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
1615 My previous hooman used to keep the good stuff just for himself" 1.2636 0.05582 110 89 13 8
1616 This isn’t what I had in mind when I asked for a companion animal. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
1617 I’ve got to hand it to you Cat, you’ve done it again with this Sauvignon Blanc. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
1618 After the second glass I forget that April is the cruelest month 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
1619 Before sipping swirl the glass and sniff the nose. It has a complex mix of catnip, cat grass and mouse. Don’t you agree? 1.2636 0.04736 129 101 22 6
1620 It has a nice floral and catnip finish. 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
1621 I think you’ll approve. It has a jaunty crispness . . . like mice. 1.2632 0.04387 133 102 27 4
1622 Oh, I see! It really is cat piss. 1.2632 0.06025 95 77 11 7
1623 Let's get real. Neutered or spayed? 1.2632 0.04387 133 102 27 4
1624 I know you're not 'broken' but I'm going to have you fixed anyway 1.2632 0.04992 114 89 20 5
1625 You seem catatonic tonight. 1.2632 0.04992 114 89 20 5
1626 A bit mousy? 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1627 Here's to you killing your kidneys while I destroy my liver. 1.2632 0.04994 133 107 17 9
1628 No, it's FER-mented not FUR-mented 1.2632 0.04761 133 105 21 7
1629 It’s so nice to finally talk to someone who understands 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1630 Notes of black cherry? I’m just getting cat hair. 1.2632 0.05145 114 90 18 6
1631 The automatic feeder was fine at first, but I need more at this point in my life. 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
1632 Well... the dog's gone. 1.2628 0.04665 137 108 22 7
1633 I heard this '16 cabernet pairs nicely with fancy feast 1.2628 0.04665 137 108 22 7
1634 But you are not underage in cat years! 1.2628 0.04548 137 107 24 6
1635 So, tell me about your day. 1.2627 0.05025 118 93 19 6
1636 I don’t know- scratching it still seems better.” 1.2627 0.04878 118 92 21 5
1637 That should wet your whiskers. 1.2627 0.05025 118 93 19 6
1638 Don’t be such a pussy and drink. This was an expensive Cabernet. 1.2627 0.05440 118 96 13 9
1639 So, how do you like the new scratch resistant fabric? 1.2627 0.04572 118 90 25 3
1640 And they say a dog is man's best friend. 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1641 Did you hear Elon Musk tried to buy Twitter? 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1642 Cheers to being single! #crazycatman 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
1643 so how many lives do you have now? 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1644 Muffin, in a moment of clarity, realized that Linda was not coming back. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
1645 We need to talk about your litter box habits. 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
1646 After all these years, Tony, I never thought that it would be YOU behind the disappearing laser light on the wall... 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
1647 It's a velvety Meowlot. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
1648 Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line. 1.2623 0.04911 122 98 17 7
1649 You know all the noise you make between 2 and 4am? This stuff helps me sleep through it. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
1650 Sure it was wrong for me to assume you had an owner.. 1.2621 0.05155 103 80 19 4
1651 I dunno, Angie. What do you wanna do? 1.2621 0.05512 103 82 15 6
1652 Interesting. I don't like hairballs either. 1.2621 0.05682 103 83 13 7
1653 You're rather frisky this evening. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1654 To the dog; he ran away 1.2619 0.05062 126 101 17 8
1655 Now that you're here, we really need to talk about the litterbox. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1656 Litter box is just down the hall or I can let you out if you promise to come back 1.2617 0.05028 107 83 20 4
1657 See? After two years of lockdown together, we have truly bonded! 1.2617 0.05839 107 88 10 9
1658 In cat years it's a '94 Merlot. 1.2617 0.04849 107 82 22 3
1659 ...and they said I would never find my soulmate. 1.2617 0.04849 107 82 22 3
1660 I promise. No petting before the third date. 1.2617 0.05367 107 85 16 6
1661 Well this is me socializing. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
1662 I’m feeling a little naughty tonight, so I substituted catnip for oregano in the lasagna. 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1663 The bottle said it pairs nicely with regurgitated fur and Meow Mix. 1.2613 0.05386 111 89 15 7
1664 This wine pairs well with the extra gravy lovers select feast I have in the oven 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1665 A 1964 Domaine Leroy Musigny Grand Cru. You have exquisite taste, Fluffy. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1666 I’m still not paying rent. 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1667 Snuggles, this is the next level of domestication. 1.2612 0.04609 134 105 23 6
1668 It's domestic and I thought, "Who would REALLY appreciate this?" 1.2612 0.04228 134 102 29 3
1669 Sit over here and "meow' in my ear. 1.2612 0.04359 134 103 27 4
1670 Only 15 more minutes until the bluebird you caught me is done. 1.2612 0.04486 134 104 25 5
1671 It's times like these that I thank my lucky stars you are my owner. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1672 This would pair well with some tuna. 1.2609 0.04400 138 107 26 5
1673 The first thing you should know is that I'm into bondage, but I'm willing to start with some heavy petting. 1.2606 0.04965 142 116 15 11
1674 I'm working my way up to a woman. 1.2605 0.05265 119 96 15 8
1675 What are your feelings on cat doors? 1.2605 0.04539 119 93 22 4
1676 I peed on this spot once, too. 1.2605 0.05265 119 96 15 8
1677 It's not that I want to see other people...it's just that I'm tired of disposing of rat carcasses." 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
1678 I thought we should drink to you being out of the bag. 1.2605 0.04539 119 91 25 3
1679 I hope you like Ratatoulie. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1680 There's something I have to tell you -- I just bought a dog ... and it's a pit bull! 1.2603 0.04667 146 119 17 10
1681 Who says you can't become man's best friend? 1.2602 0.04136 123 92 30 1
1682 It’s called Cat Water Nine. Chat Eau Neuf. 1.2602 0.05142 123 99 16 8
1683 This wine is from that year you caught a mouse. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
1684 They say one shouldn't resemble one's glassware, so I got us the ones with necks. 1.2602 0.05142 123 99 16 8
1685 Hey there, person deciding the New Yorker caption contest finalists! I know you have a hard job, but you got this! Thank you for everything you do 1.2600 0.05794 100 81 12 7
1686 So,Whadya think? Should NATO get involved? 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1687 The guy in the wine shop said he thought it tasted a bit 'fishy', ... and ALSO, the price was very reasonable! 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1688 This isn’t what I pictured when you said “cat person.” 1.2600 0.05794 100 81 12 7
1689 It pairs nicely with dead mice. 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
1690 Lassie called. She's not coming back. 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
1691 Listen, it's only fair you start chipping in for your share of the rent in this housing market. 1.2598 0.04215 127 98 26 3
1692 I agree with you about the fruity aftertaste, but I get no hint of catnip or mouse. 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
1693 Would you like to see my scratchings? 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
1694 Laura hasn’t mentioned you before… 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
1695 Working remotely means never missing happy hour 1.2598 0.04360 127 97 27 3
1696 I'm told it's the perfect complement to any small rodent. 1.2596 0.04926 104 80 21 3
1697 Your profile said you like to snuggle. 1.2596 0.05465 104 83 15 6
1698 I think you'll find quiet notes of tuna in this '06. 1.2596 0.04926 104 80 21 3
1699 … so… I guess what I’m trying to say is… it was actually YOU who rescued ME. 1.2596 0.05465 104 83 15 6
1700 My first match treated me like a dog... 1.2595 0.04796 131 104 20 7
1701 She'll come around. She's just having a hard time adjusting to an empty litter box. 1.2593 0.05323 108 86 16 6
1702 Sorry, I'm all out of goldfish 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
1703 Since his cat was a bit grumpy when being cuddled, he tried a different approach. 1.2593 0.04627 108 82 24 2
1704 It's a full-bodied red, with a hint of hairball. 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
1705 You look exactly like your online photo. 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
1706 I'm not like the other pet owners 1.2593 0.04987 108 84 20 4
1707 This pairs well with Purina 1.2593 0.05158 108 85 18 5
1708 Before we go any further, this is my couch, Steve. 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
1709 My other pets were rather judgemental of my day drinking. 1.2593 0.05158 108 85 18 5
1710 What do you get if you win? 1.2593 0.04987 108 84 20 4
1711 C'mon, we don't have to social distance when we drink anymore. 1.2593 0.05158 108 85 18 5
1712 It's a tempting offer, but I've got to get up early for my morning nap 1.2593 0.05323 108 86 16 6
1713 I always knew I was a cat man. 1.2590 0.04373 139 108 26 5
1714 This cabernet got 5 meows from PetSmart. 1.2590 0.04717 139 111 20 8
1715 I detect hints of tuna 1.2590 0.04717 139 111 20 8
1716 It nice to finally meet someone who isn’t crazy. 1.2589 0.05190 112 89 17 6
1717 My brother-in-law is a cat. 1.2589 0.05190 112 89 17 6
1718 do you want to talk about fluffy? 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1719 Here, sit beside me my pet. 1.2589 0.05636 112 92 11 9
1720 Forgive me for saying so, but you looked a little younger in your profile pic. 1.2589 0.04871 112 87 21 4
1721 It has notes of mouse tail blossoming in a full-throated feathery finish. 1.2589 0.05190 112 89 17 6
1722 Tigger, would you like some goldfish snacks? 1.2589 0.04702 112 86 23 3
1723 It has a hint of salmon with afternotes of sardine. 1.2589 0.05492 112 91 13 8
1724 This will loosen you up for today's Tik Tok performance. 1.2589 0.05190 112 89 17 6
1725 Are you sure this isn’t dogs pee? 1.2589 0.04871 112 87 21 4
1726 Sorry, I thought you preferred the Purrgundy over the Pinot Meow. 1.2587 0.04625 143 114 21 8
1727 No petting allowed. 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
1728 This should pair well with your grilled seafood in gravy. 1.2586 0.04435 116 88 26 2
1729 Dating apps tend to disappoint, but at least you look like your photos” 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
1730 Oh really Jerry, YOU’VE had a stressful day? 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
1731 And that’s how I lost my 4th life. 1.2585 0.04218 147 114 28 5
1732 I realize this changes everything. What shall we do about the litter box? 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
1733 Let's do this more often." 1.2583 0.05225 120 97 15 8
1734 This one is so good you'll want to learn how to open bottles yourself 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
1735 I would recommend you pair this dessert wine with a chocolate mouse. 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
1736 Much more satisfying than scratching the furniture, don't you think? 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
1737 What shall we talk about? 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
1738 I've had the best first date ever and your dinner was delicious! now excuse me while I use your litter box. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
1739 Its ok but I prefer Mousecatel. 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1740 I am still not letting you sleep on my pillow 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1741 I think I picked the wrong category on my dating app. 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1742 As my emotional support animal, you HAVE to drink with me, Mr. Whiskers. 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
1743 As if being domestic weren’t enough, now they expect us to be civilized, too. 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1744 He looks totally different to his tinder pictures 1.2578 0.04606 128 103 19 6
1745 The other cats in the neighborhood call you Humpty Dumpty 1.2578 0.04866 128 102 19 7
1746 How amazing! Neither of us has a neck. 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
1747 All this wine is going straight to my neck. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
1748 It has a nice tuna finish. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
1749 What you have there is the Cat’s Eye 1.2574 0.04804 101 77 22 2
1750 If you were a dog we'd drink hard liquor. 1.2574 0.04804 101 77 22 2
1751 Think of it as a mouse smoothie with a kick. 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
1752 Much like catnip 1.2574 0.04174 136 104 29 3
1753 You seemed so much taller on line. 1.2571 0.05585 105 85 13 7
1754 I told you the chianti is better! 1.2571 0.05069 105 82 19 4
1755 So how do I compare to your owner in life #5? 1.2571 0.05069 105 84 16 5
1756 You should have known those pictures would wind up on the internet. 1.2571 0.04885 105 81 21 3
1757 Do you think people can tell we’re a pandemic couple? 1.2571 0.05585 105 85 13 7
1758 You should remove your cat from your profile picture. 1.2571 0.04885 105 81 21 3
1759 Do you like smooth jazz? 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1760 Thanks for asking meowt. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
1761 Your feline wisdom outstrips any of my primate friends! 1.2569 0.04591 109 83 24 2
1762 I'm glad we're talking again. 1.2569 0.04402 109 82 26 1
1763 So we are out of catnip again larry? 1.2569 0.05116 109 88 15 6
1764 Isn't this better then milk? 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1765 The wine store guy says it’s the cat’s merlot. 1.2569 0.05438 109 88 14 7
1766 After work drinks with coworkers in 2022 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1767 Are you getting the floral earthy notes? 1.2568 0.04301 148 116 26 6
1768 A nice red wine, aged for at least four of your lives. 1.2566 0.05149 113 90 17 6
1769 Thought you'd like a highball instead of your usual hairball. 1.2566 0.04666 113 87 23 3
1770 Should I serve red or white with mice? 1.2566 0.04993 113 92 15 6
1771 I'm an introvert myself. 1.2566 0.04666 113 87 23 3
1772 It's just wine, after all! 1.2566 0.04666 113 87 23 3
1773 Am I /really/ talking to a cat about the current geopolitical climate? 1.2566 0.05149 113 90 17 6
1774 Wine on a Tuesday at lunch? Work from home really has changed things 1.2566 0.04993 113 89 19 5
1775 I'm on life number 9. Cheers, Allen! 1.2566 0.04666 113 89 20 4
1776 Sorry it's not wet enough. The dog drank all the Vermouth again 1.2564 0.04403 117 92 22 3
1777 You could at least pretend that you like it. 1.2564 0.04726 117 94 18 5
1778 With the dog off to bed early, the human and the cat realized that they no longer had anything to complain about 1.2563 0.04543 160 130 19 11
1779 You know, I can shed too. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1780 You’ve never had wine before? We’re even. I never dated a Burmese shorthair before. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1781 I thought you might enjoy its oaky aroma with hints of raspberry, chocolate, and tuna. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1782 I think you know why there’s no table. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1783 Can you taste the undertones of Tuna? 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1784 It's a naive domestic tuna juice without gill-net catches, but I assume you'll be amused by its promotion. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1785 Some people drink alone each night, but not me. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1786 Try a glass of my new investment, I call it Wine Lives. 1.2562 0.05052 121 97 17 7
1787 Mmmm...this is the cat's meow. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
1788 'Human blood' is not an appropriate tasting note for you to be recognizing, Timmy. 1.2562 0.05052 121 97 17 7
1789 Still grumpy? 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
1790 How do you like the new cat litter? It's recommended by Gwyneth Paltrow. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
1791 You should see my sock-drawer. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
1792 I'm finally over Barky and so glad we met! 1.2558 0.04705 129 102 21 6
1793 If you tell Rover and his friends about this, I'll scratch you to death. 1.2558 0.04575 129 101 23 5
1794 I know you’re probably nervous because someone told you I’m just trying to “get pussy”, but it’s not like that. 1.2558 0.04575 129 106 16 7
1795 Your choice was purrfect. 1.2558 0.04011 129 97 31 1
1796 It's called merlot. I think you'll find it's a lot better than a saucer of milk. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
1797 I know by your expression you like the wine. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
1798 We ran out of cream...and bowls... 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
1799 It pairs well with catnip. 1.2556 0.04223 133 102 28 3
1800 I need to tell you that I'm really a dog person. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
1801 Sure, it might have legs, but I bet it won’t land upright if I drop it. 1.2556 0.06430 90 75 7 8
1802 I don't allow petting on the first date. 1.2555 0.04399 137 107 25 5
1803 Actually, my last cat was more of a beer drinker 1.2555 0.04148 137 105 29 3
1804 You’re less like a cat than I thought. I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to notice. 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
1805 Notes of citrus and camomile, but just that hint of catnip without driving you insane is what makes it special. 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1806 Well I have a hard enough time processing one life and can't imagine what you're going through. 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
1807 Isn't this more elegant than lapping from a saucer? 1.2551 0.05089 98 76 19 3
1808 We don’t actually have nine lives you know. 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
1809 Come a little closer, I won’t scratch! 1.2549 0.05155 102 80 18 4
1810 I’m sorry I clogged the litter box. 1.2549 0.05155 102 80 18 4
1811 I've doubled up on my Allegra. It's ok, come sit closer. 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1812 Next we'll learn how to pair cheeses 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1813 Put some hair on the what? 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1814 Thank you for joining me for a little nip before dinner . 1.2547 0.04655 106 81 23 2
1815 Skooch over and cuddle! 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1816 Do I look like a cat? 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1817 Don't drink too much. You might start throwing up everywhere. 1.2547 0.05697 106 87 11 8
1818 And to think, before we met, I was a dog person. 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1819 It’s water from the goldfish bowl. 1.2545 0.05236 110 88 16 6
1820 Tomorrow I'll teach you how to mix a Martini" 1.2545 0.04555 110 84 24 2
1821 Would you care to see my...itchings? 1.2545 0.04734 110 85 22 3
1822 It tastes better when we age it in cat years, don't you think? 1.2545 0.05074 110 87 18 5
1823 So you’re still not up for shooting a video? 1.2544 0.04955 114 90 19 5
1824 Red, red wine make you feel feline? 1.2544 0.04795 114 89 21 4
1825 AAH...nothing like hair of the dog. 1.2544 0.04795 114 94 15 5
1826 Swirl, sniff, taste, then either purr or hiss. 1.2544 0.05109 114 91 17 6
1827 You're a little different than your profile picture. 1.2544 0.04955 114 90 19 5
1828 The vet said to give you wet food. 1.2544 0.04795 114 89 21 4
1829 Before the pandemic, I was a dog person, but I think you'll like it here. 1.2542 0.04690 118 92 22 4
1830 The dating agency said you'll come striaght from the catwalk! 1.2541 0.05015 122 98 17 7
1831 Wait til you try the lasagne. 1.2541 0.04878 122 97 19 6
1832 Trouble sleeping? 1.2541 0.04878 122 97 19 6
1833 First off, thank you for taking a moment to discuss the reviews of my family you posted on line. 1.2541 0.05015 122 98 17 7
1834 I want to start seeing others. 1.2541 0.04442 122 94 25 3
1835 I just want someone that get's me, ya know 1.2541 0.04442 122 94 25 3
1836 Now, on to a full-bodied cab with heavy undertones of pandemic-induced social anxiety. 1.2541 0.05015 122 98 17 7
1837 It's a glass. You drink from it. 1.2540 0.04638 126 99 22 5
1838 I's a fine Merlot, with notes of wet fur and hairball. 1.2540 0.04772 126 100 20 6
1839 One of us has to work, right? 1.2540 0.04499 126 98 24 4
1840 If you're going to sit on the couch, you'll have to mingle with our guests, Paul. 1.2540 0.04499 126 98 24 4
1841 For the record, I thought Odie had it coming. 1.2538 0.04273 130 100 27 3
1842 Tell me, honestly, if I fell dead before you, would you eat me? 1.2538 0.04544 130 102 23 5
1843 How far do you want to go tonight? Maybe some heavy petting? 1.2538 0.05158 130 107 13 10
1844 Do you sense the brooding aromas of cherries, plums and currants? Note the finish with the hint of spicy oak and hint of catnip. 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1845 I'd rather have milk, John. 1.2535 0.04518 142 113 22 7
1846 Tomorrow night, we'll have happy hour in your litter box. 1.2534 0.04326 146 115 25 6
1847 So let’s discuss the possibility of you acknowledging me tonight? 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
1848 Are you open to the idea of clothing? Perhaps just some shorts for a start? 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
1849 We need to work on communication. It’s like we’re speaking two different languages. 1.2526 0.04482 95 77 15 3
1850 I told you “don’t knock it over ‘til you try it” 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1851 A toast to no more dogs on the couch! 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
1852 I learned three lives ago not to drive after this. 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
1853 And that’s when she told me she was allergic to cats 1.2525 0.04836 99 76 21 2
1854 The Pet Adoption Agency sent you , didn't they? 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
1855 And, it's guaranteed to give you 10 lives. 1.2524 0.04723 103 79 22 2
1856 I am so sorry. I had no idea there was a laser show at half-time. 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
1857 When your profile said you were a bit catty, I didn't know you meant it literally. 1.2524 0.04723 103 79 22 2
1858 So you accidentally swiped right as you knocked your owner's phone off the desk? 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
1859 This red will be delicious with what I've trapped for dinner. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
1860 I can't believe I wasted my last life living as a stray cat!" 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
1861 I'll tell you where the cork is if you promise not to scratch the couch. 1.2523 0.04423 107 81 25 1
1862 I'm thinking about transitioning. 1.2523 0.04618 107 82 23 2
1863 I think it's time we talk about adopting a kitten. 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
1864 You weren’t lying, you really are a cat person. 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
1865 But we both don’t have a neck, doesn’t that count for something? 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
1866 Half empty or half full- we don't knock it onto the floor. 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
1867 Will you stay friends once we transition to endemic? 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
1868 I can taste the notes of strawberry, pomegranate and mackerel. 1.2523 0.05349 111 90 14 7
1869 See!? Isn't tasting a glass much better than knocking it over 1.2523 0.05349 111 90 14 7
1870 Isn't it better this way, instead of knocking it over? 1.2523 0.04609 111 88 19 4
1871 I've been told it tastes like the cat's meow. 1.2523 0.04868 111 92 14 5
1872 My sommelier said this pairs well with fish. 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1873 Don't worry if I wobble. I won't fall down. 1.2522 0.05069 115 92 17 6
1874 I am also surprised that a cat can hold a wine glass 1.2522 0.05217 115 93 15 7
1875 It's just a naive domestic Burgundy, but it was Best in Show at last year's CFA nationals. 1.2522 0.05069 115 95 13 7
1876 Wein d'Maus. Very rare vintage. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
1877 The nose of this is goldfish; I can taste notes of sparrow, with a full bodied mousey finish. 1.2520 0.05110 123 100 15 8
1878 It's Purrrr-gundy. 1.2520 0.04559 123 96 23 4
1879 Are you over 21? 1.2520 0.04703 123 97 21 5
1880 Im not prejudiced at all, I just never met a black cat I was comfortable with 1.2520 0.04996 127 103 16 8
1881 Let's have a cat-nip together, shall we? 1.2520 0.04325 127 98 26 3
1882 you look different from your profile 1.2520 0.04996 127 103 16 8
1883 I think we need some time apart. 1.2519 0.04299 135 105 26 4
1884 Yes, extraordinary, there is a hint of catnip. 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
1885 Nothing like a nice catbernet 1.2500 0.04437 128 100 24 4
1886 Who says it's too late to socialize a cat? 1.2500 0.04506 128 103 19 6
1887 Well, aren't you just the cat's meow? 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1888 You're right, there is a soupcon of catnip there... 1.2500 0.04480 104 79 24 1
1889 You looked different on Tinder. 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1890 Remember when we first met? 1.2500 0.05038 92 71 19 2
1891 I thought a nice Pinot would help us break the ice on this scratching the furniture thing. 1.2500 0.04683 96 73 22 1
1892 I'm so glad you pawed right. 1.2500 0.04394 116 89 25 2
1893 Isn't this better than spilt milk? 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
1894 It’s the finest purrgandy! 1.2500 0.04766 108 84 21 3
1895 I've never had a pet so adept with stemware before. 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1896 So,how long have you been a trans-species? 1.2500 0.05283 108 87 15 6
1897 You had me at PSPSPS 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
1898 I think you’ll enjoy it. There are hints of dead mouse. 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1899 Just let me hold you. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
1900 Since you’re trying to cut back, I got us a special non-alcoholic herbal elixir for tonight. 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
1901 Okay,last time you woke up with no testicles,but what ELSE have you got to lose? Just try a sip 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
1902 If the landlord asks, you're on eight lives and love playing in the street. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
1903 No but like, he wants to be a chef, and he controls this guy under his hat and..I really think we should watch it, youll love it 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1904 ‘ It goes well with mice’ 1.2500 0.05389 100 80 15 5
1905 I know there’s a power dynamic at play that some would find inappropriate, but now that we’ve done away with mother… 1.2500 0.04766 108 84 21 3
1906 There’s just a hint of hair ball don’t you think? 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1907 Yes, quite a distinctive bouquet. Chateau Fifi, 1957 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1908 A bouquet of litter and kibble, with an aftertaste of hairball, n'est pas? 1.2500 0.04548 140 112 21 7
1909 I was a little more furry when those photos were taken. 1.2500 0.05592 104 85 12 7
1910 Sometimes I like to be a bad kitty too. 1.2500 0.04911 96 74 20 2
1911 Couldn’t agree more. The word ‘doggo’ needs to die. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1912 I know you’re not a big fan of Merlot, but the sommelier said it pairs well with mouse 1.2500 0.04879 104 83 17 4
1913 Has it really been two years already?! 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1914 You’re right mittens, who even needs a neck?! 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1915 I identify as a Tomcat!! 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1916 It's full-bodied with hints of tuna. 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
1917 Most dating app members are real dogs. 1.2500 0.04734 132 106 19 7
1918 I never drink alone. 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
1919 They won't call you "The Crazy Man Kitty" if there is only one of me. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
1920 I know we can make this work 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1921 But you said on your dating profile that Catwoman was your dream date. 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1922 Not so frisky when it comes down to it, are you? 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1923 You're my best friend, & I hate to drink alone... 1.2500 0.05152 112 90 16 6
1924 Isn’t staying in just the best? 1.2500 0.04484 112 86 24 2
1925 I’d like to mansplain about your nine lives. 1.2500 0.05735 96 78 12 6
1926 But I thought you'd like a pink Catawba. 1.2500 0.04581 108 83 23 2
1927 once we weaned you off the litter box I knew we could get rid of your bowl 1.2500 0.03870 136 116 15 5
1928 It's been a long lock down but, kitty, you look pretty good to me. 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
1929 They said this wine from the 1920's is the cat's meow. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
1930 Let's toast to your indifference 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
1931 So I’ve been dying to know—what’s it like to poop in a box? 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1932 We moved in together two weeks ago, I think it’s time to tell you. I’m human. 1.2500 0.04994 112 91 15 6
1933 I’ve always considered myself a dog person but my therapist said I need to go out out of my comfort zone. 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
1934 Stop me if I’ve told you this story before. 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
1935 I'm just glad to be dating in person again. 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
1936 well she never liked a drink 1.2500 0.05130 96 75 18 3
1937 And to think I wasted all those years on dating apps… 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1938 You look different from your "Plenty of Fish" photo 1.2486 0.04193 173 140 23 10
1939 Glad you felt comfortable getting together without our masks! 1.2482 0.04723 137 111 18 8
1940 I agree, it's got a little nip to it... 1.2481 0.04702 133 107 19 7
1941 Sip it slowly. It's higher in tannins than toilet water. 1.2481 0.04702 133 107 19 7
1942 Full bodied, notes of litterbox and mouse, complex catnip finish. 1.2481 0.04926 129 105 16 8
1943 'Your unconditional disdain and this cheap Merlot are all I need to become the mediocre man my ex-wife always wanted me to be. 1.2481 0.04542 129 102 22 5
1944 Felix: “Why ‘meow’ when I can wine instead?” 1.2481 0.04673 129 103 20 6
1945 I never met a cat who could hold her wine so well. 1.2479 0.04588 121 95 22 4
1946 My ex was such a dog. 1.2479 0.05285 121 100 12 9
1947 so you finally did It, you broke up with Karen...cheers 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
1948 Ok then, not my lap just here beside me? 1.2479 0.05416 117 97 11 9
1949 You don’t get out much, do you? 1.2479 0.04276 117 92 22 3
1950 You need to sip it, not lap it." 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1951 Here’s to your latest YouTube! 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1952 . "Social distancing is the "cat's pajamas." 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1953 What do you mean you don’t have a litter box? 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1954 That's right it does have the nose of cat's pee on a gooseberry bush. 1.2478 0.04954 113 90 18 5
1955 And then Garfield said to me... 1.2478 0.05111 113 91 16 6
1956 Supply chain disruptions. There was no cat food, but plenty of beaujolais. 1.2478 0.04792 113 96 10 7
1957 No, you don't swat it or bite it--just drink it down... 1.2478 0.04450 113 87 24 2
1958 Look, I know you like moths and balls, but an olive is the preferred garnish. 1.2478 0.04954 113 90 18 5
1959 Congratulations on your sixth life. 1.2478 0.05111 113 91 16 6
1960 You getting any mouse on this? 1.2478 0.05111 113 91 16 6
1961 I love the feel of the fabric. 1.2478 0.04954 113 90 18 5
1962 You said wine and cheese. 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
1963 It’s a zin that will make you purr. 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1964 It's a naïve domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption. 1.2477 0.04728 109 88 17 4
1965 Let me explain why I'm not going to invest in your musical about cats. 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
1966 It makes you feel warm and fuzzy. 1.2477 0.05554 109 90 11 8
1967 I saw you disdaining me from across the room and just had to get to know you. 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
1968 I'm so glad you didn't give it your scrunchy-face rating 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
1969 I feel our relationship will reach a new level now that you can hold a wine glass. 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1970 Friends, yes. Benefits, no. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1971 To life. To life. To life. To life. To life. To life. To life. To life. To life. 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1972 You can always say it's the wine talking. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1973 I knew you were special when I met you at the shelter. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1974 I'd like to say 'here kitty', but maybe that's too creepy 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1975 You’ll find it finished with playful notes of catnip and string. 1.2476 0.04645 105 81 22 2
1976 We could just eat in if there's any chance you like fish. 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1977 I think you have the nose to be a sommelier. 1.2476 0.04645 105 81 22 2
1978 It's actually called "caBernet" 1.2476 0.04645 105 81 22 2
1979 I promise...just one and I won't forget to feed you again. 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
1980 You're really freaking me out since she left you, man 1.2475 0.05523 101 82 13 6
1981 I bought your favorite mewlot. 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
1982 I don't know, Sam. A cabernet with fish? 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
1983 I’m sorry I’ve allowed the litter box to affect the aroma of the Merlot… 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
1984 If you need to freshen up, the litter box is just down the hall. 1.2473 0.05853 93 76 11 6
1985 It's the humans' version of catnip. 1.2473 0.04751 93 71 21 1
1986 It's just that you seem so disinterested. 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1987 Covid and wine keeps us together! Cheers. 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
1988 This better be a MosCATo 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1989 This vintage was recommended by a wine merchant who said that this was the cat's meow. 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
1990 Well I'm a male and a teacher, so naturally I'm an ailurophile. Have you ever let anyone else groom you? 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
1991 See, isn’t this nice? 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1992 Yes, I’m going back to work soon, we need to talk. 1.2465 0.04143 142 111 27 4
1993 If you're getting "dusty" notes, perhaps it's because you've been rolling on the sidewalk for the past 15 minutes. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
1994 I prefer white wine. It pairs well with fish. 1.2464 0.04578 138 111 20 7
1995 After months of living together, I feel like we’re finally connecting and can take this to the next level…….can I pet you? 1.2463 0.04424 134 106 23 5
1996 A little nip won’t hurt. 1.2462 0.04377 130 102 24 4
1997 Transgender is so yesterday. 1.2462 0.04641 130 104 20 6
1998 At the store they said it was a bit mousy but you’re the expert 1.2462 0.04641 130 104 20 6
1999 Do you want some tuna with that wine? 1.2462 0.04641 130 104 20 6
2000 Merlot? I'm a cat, not an animal. 1.2460 0.05000 126 103 15 8
2001 babe that scratch on the couch isn't who you think it's from 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2002 Closest I've ever been to a pussy 1.2459 0.04843 122 98 18 6
2003 I've really enjoyed the last two years together,but now that lockdown is over,I think it's time to reconsider this relationship. 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
2004 This is the only way I can sit up here? 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
2005 I agree, but the next negotiation must include the dog. 1.2459 0.04247 122 94 26 2
2006 I’ve noticed that you’ve been agitated, ever since the neighbors installed that koi pond, so I thought we could wind down a bit. 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
2007 It's like catnip without the mess. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2008 I think we need to further discuss this neutering idea ! 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2009 Are you getting full-bodied mouse, with undertones of catnip? 1.2458 0.04493 118 95 20 3
2010 He took me in from the alley and now I have to listen to him talk about stocks all the time. He doesn’t even understand the market. I wish I was back with Big Frankie and Delilah. THEY knew fine wine. THEY knew how to have a conversation. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2011 I'd say it's fruity with a touch of catnip. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2012 I'm surprised you can hold that, too! 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
2013 I like walks in the park, stop to smell the flowers, and occasionally bring dead animals to my human’s door 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
2014 You'll love this wine with the hints of fresh catnip and mouse 1.2456 0.04416 114 90 21 3
2015 Things are so bad, even my cat is starting to drink. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2016 You’ll like it. It’s dry. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2017 I think you”ll like it here. The litter box gets changed daily and we serve tuna every other day. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2018 I'm sure the others are just stuck in traffic. 1.2456 0.05222 114 93 14 7
2019 Of course, the dog can't tell a pinot from a cab. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2020 You texted a picture to your date to show how you like to spend your evenings relaxing with a glass of wine with your cat....and suddenly you were ghosted. Huh, weird. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2021 Relax, you only live nine times! 1.2455 0.05354 110 90 13 7
2022 We don't have to label it. 1.2455 0.04690 110 86 21 3
2023 You hate things? Me too! 1.2455 0.04320 110 84 25 1
2024 We're not expecting "mister" cat anytime soon, I hope..... 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
2025 This is as good as it gets Fluffy! 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2026 Well,you liked this vintage in your last life. 1.2455 0.04509 110 85 23 2
2027 I cant believe I had to ask him to take his shoes off 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2028 I’m still not letting you pet my belly. 1.2455 0.05196 110 89 15 6
2029 What's been clawing at you lately? 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2030 A fine Catnippery Sauvignon with a whiffs rat’s tail on the nose and subtle notes of mousey snout, Roquefort and lizard head on first taste. A Trump Wines exclusive. 1.2453 0.05330 106 86 14 6
2031 'You didn't think Plenty of Fish was a dating app, did you?' 1.2453 0.05330 106 86 14 6
2032 Now, about the scratches on the couch... 1.2453 0.05330 106 86 14 6
2033 This Chat Noir vintage seems especially vivid tonight. 1.2453 0.05159 106 87 13 6
2034 It's always 5 o'clock in Cat town 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2035 I told Spot, if he's everyone's best friend, he's no one's best friend. 1.2453 0.05330 106 86 14 6
2036 Now isn't this better that catnip? 1.2453 0.04798 106 83 20 3
2037 If you start quoting Sideways, I'm leaving. 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2038 I tried the catnip. Now it's your turn 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
2039 A nip before your nap. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2040 I must say you don’t look anything like your online photo! 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2041 It's the best Catbernet this season. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2042 It has a hint of catnip, don't you think? 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
2043 I think you will find it works better than cat nip. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2044 I thought this might be a nice change from drinking on the floor. 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
2045 I put catnip in yours instead of an olive. 1.2450 0.04503 151 123 19 9
2046 Yes, even cats can find uses for the blockchain. You see... 1.2450 0.04503 151 123 19 9
2047 It's recommended with red meat. 1.2449 0.04601 98 75 22 1
2048 My first wife said I wasn't a cat person. 1.2449 0.04162 147 116 26 5
2049 It has a lovely tuna bouquet,with hints of mouse. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
2050 I need a different sponsor. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2051 If this makes sense to me, I guess the edibles kicked in. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2052 You know, you're on to something. There truly IS a top note of condescension. 1.2447 0.04944 94 73 19 2
2053 A mouse ate the cheese. Just sayin’…. 1.2447 0.05796 94 77 11 6
2054 I call it a catnip. 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
2055 It's a young wine, but when I caught the notes of pissed-on cat litter, I thought of you. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
2056 Here's to a long and happy nine lives. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
2057 So, have you heard about interspecies families? 1.2446 0.04548 139 112 20 7
2058 Are you enjoying the Mewlot? 1.2446 0.04662 139 113 18 8
2059 Well, the edible finally kicked in. 1.2446 0.04190 139 111 23 5
2060 so you peed right here? 1.2446 0.04662 139 113 18 8
2061 It's a 2014 Trimbach Pinot Gris Réserve Alsace. Now. Let's talk about the goldfish. 1.2444 0.04518 135 108 21 6
2062 This is just a small sign of my appreciation for the dead mouse I found on my doorstep. 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
2063 It's actually a litter-boxed varietal. 1.2444 0.04639 135 109 19 7
2064 The mouse bruschetta will be ready shortly. 1.2444 0.04639 135 109 19 7
2065 Thank you for always being there for me. Cheers. 1.2443 0.04210 131 102 26 3
2066 It pairs up magnificently with mouse. 1.2439 0.04217 123 95 26 2
2067 you wold be legally able to drink if you were a dog but unfortunately in cat years you are just 7 1.2439 0.04808 123 99 18 6
2068 Well, this gives new meaning to the term catfishing. 1.2439 0.04944 123 100 16 7
2069 I'm sensing a taste of oak with overtones of kibble and a mouthwatering aftertaste of salmon. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
2070 I thought we should get to know each other a little better before you move in. 1.2439 0.05077 82 63 18 1
2071 What's new, pussycat? 1.2437 0.04769 119 95 19 5
2072 I’m no good at WORDLE, how about the cat fishing game on The Purina site? 1.2437 0.05059 119 97 15 7
2073 I never drink with dogs. Me neither. 1.2437 0.05059 119 97 15 7
2074 Did you know I'm a lesbian. 1.2437 0.04617 119 94 21 4
2075 I don't understand why some people have a hard time getting their cats to drink. 1.2437 0.04617 119 94 21 4
2076 I think you'll really like this one...it has notes of catnip and mouse droppings. 1.2436 0.04105 156 124 26 6
2077 It sure beats catnip, don't you agree? 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2078 Let’s make catty remarks about the dog next door. 1.2435 0.04383 115 89 24 2
2079 the truth is … I … I’ve been seeing a feral cat for some time now 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2080 Most cats I've dated prefer chablis. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2081 It *has* been tough since the divorce, but I always land on my own two feet. 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2082 Yeah, its called a “polyphasic sleep cycle” I need at least 20 cat naps per day in order to function 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2083 Feline facials? We'll just have to agree to disagree on that. 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
2084 About this clawing thing... 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
2085 It will help you forget your past eight lives. 1.2432 0.04286 111 87 22 2
2086 What a day ! Yours ? 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
2087 „So we are drunk and sober at the same time !“ „Oh shut up Schroedinger !“ 1.2432 0.05310 111 91 13 7
2088 The bouquet has been described as the cat’s meow. 1.2431 0.04543 144 117 19 8
2089 Have you noticed the floral bouquet? 1.2430 0.04569 107 83 22 2
2090 Wine don’t agree with you honey, it turns you into a cat. 1.2430 0.05116 107 86 16 5
2091 Don't worry. I'm totally not taking you to the vet. 1.2430 0.04569 107 83 22 2
2092 The cat: “Jerry, we need to talk. Lisa and I think it’d be best if you didn’t come by anymore.” 1.2430 0.05116 107 86 16 5
2093 I’m sensing hints of love and attention, but not enough. 1.2430 0.04569 107 83 22 2
2094 I'll stick with the milk, thanks. 1.2427 0.05248 103 83 15 5
2095 So tell me again how do you get away with sleeping all day and have never had to have a job? 1.2427 0.05063 103 82 17 4
2096 We’re out of milk. 1.2427 0.05426 103 84 13 6
2097 She was allergic to you. Cheers! 1.2427 0.05599 103 85 11 7
2098 A little hair of the dog Mr. Snuggles? 1.2427 0.04871 103 81 19 3
2099 Sometimes I regret supergluing that wineglass to your paw.... 1.2427 0.05063 103 82 17 4
2100 I’m an avatar too. 1.2427 0.05248 103 83 15 5
2101 Sorry, that's probably my hair. Just pick it out. 1.2427 0.05599 103 85 11 7
2102 I know you’ve been feeling lonely since the divorce, but this wasn’t part of the job description. 1.2427 0.05248 103 83 15 5
2103 Drinking from a saucer, how uncivilized. 1.2424 0.04329 99 75 24 0
2104 Where are we going with this relationship, Steve? 1.2424 0.04578 132 106 20 6
2105 To '23andMe' for bringing us together! Tell me more about Aunt Cuddles. 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
2106 This will have to do, I'm out of catnip. 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
2107 Why not sit closer? I don’t bite. 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
2108 You aren’t getting any mouse notes? 1.2424 0.04318 132 104 24 4
2109 Can I make a tiktok of this and pretend you’re just a cat? 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
2110 I’m obviously much too high class to make a pussy joke. 1.2422 0.04802 128 104 17 7
2111 This still doesn’t make us friends, Carol. 1.2422 0.04802 128 104 17 7
2112 We're so fortunate to have found the right counselor. 1.2422 0.04929 128 105 15 8
2113 Happy hour is just not the same after I started working from home. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2114 Looks like we have something in common: no neck. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2115 Would you like to know why they call me 'Mr. Cuddles.' 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2116 If chasing the red light makes you happy, then I'm happy too 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2117 It's like catnip for some people. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2118 It's a 2021 Prosecco with hints of apple and catnip. 1.2420 0.03876 157 123 30 4
2119 I was skeptical of the genetic test result at first, too. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2120 You’re in my spot. 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
2121 Hey, you made me drink sardine brine last night. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
2122 I’m into pooping in a box and scratching furniture. You? 1.2418 0.05918 91 75 10 6
2123 Did you say 'velvety texture with notes of almond'? -- You are one sophisticated feline... 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
2124 I wouldn’t allow this if I wasn’t drunk, but you already know that 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
2125 So, tell me more about you… any pets? 1.2414 0.04350 116 90 24 2
2126 The wine's from the Catskill mountains. 1.2414 0.04519 116 91 22 3
2127 They told me at the shelter that you were good with people. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2128 No, I do like your ‘gifts.’ It’s just… I need some quality time too. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2129 Two more of these and you'll have to take me out in a litter . 1.2414 0.04992 116 94 16 6
2130 Maybe when I wrote I was looking for ‘new pussy,’ I should have been more explicit. 1.2414 0.05140 116 95 14 7
2131 I had fur in a past life, there is still hope for you... 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
2132 You in the mood for a little catnip? 1.2414 0.05140 116 95 14 7
2133 Let me guess, your three favorite bands are The Byrds, Modest Mouse and Fishbone! 1.2414 0.04519 116 91 22 3
2134 They told me you were catfishing me and I told them they were wrong 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
2135 Thanks for taking off your shoes 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2136 I’m really feline this wine tonight, Geoffrey. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2137 It didn’t work out. I wasn’t as into belly rubs as she was. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2138 All I can do is stare at it... usually I'm knocking these things down! 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2139 It's good to have a friend. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2140 I’ll be returning to the office next week so you can be alone again. 1.2409 0.04459 137 110 21 6
2141 It's very nice, but I think a Chardonnay would pair better with your kibble. 1.2409 0.04337 137 109 23 5
2142 I know you don’t like my friends, but they mean well when they stroke your head. 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2143 To celebrate no hairballs this week, here’s a 1997 Château Kibblé. 1.2407 0.04337 108 83 24 1
2144 Come on, say something. I won't tell anyone that you can talk. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2145 It’s not that I don’t appreciate the invitation, I only have one life to live. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2146 Talk about irony- I haves socks and you don’t! 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2147 It must be 5 o'clock somewhere 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2148 It's hair of the dog. Try it, you'll like it. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2149 Relax. First dates are always awkward. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2150 I don’t know why we never did this before Jan left. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2151 Yes darling; of course we'll have to move to a more liberal state. 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2152 I had a feeling you’d be indifferent to this one. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2153 I like it because of the hints of liver, litter, and songbird 1.2406 0.04671 133 108 18 7
2154 You must be so exited to be part of the wine industry’s new target demographic? 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2155 My friend’s didn’t believe me when I told them you liked red wine, they thought you were more of a White Russian kind of cat 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
2156 So tell me what do you miss most about Ancient Egypt? 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
2157 Is it the idea of showering together, or the fact that I brought it up on our first date? 1.2404 0.04633 104 81 21 2
2158 Now, isn't this better than letting you go outside? 1.2404 0.04633 104 81 21 2
2159 Cabernet or Merlot you are sofa companion extraordinaire. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2160 Would you care to watch another episode of Downton Abbey or simply curl up with a refill? 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2161 I don't think cat hair in your wine glass is a big problem. 1.2403 0.04371 129 102 23 4
2162 I'm tasting notes of chewed slipper and mouse tail. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2163 See? I don’t need a girlfriend. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2164 Am all out of saucers. 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
2165 So how long have you been a sommeowlier? 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2166 I'm really pleased that you, too, prefer Sauvignon Blanc to Chardonnay 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2167 This Malbec should pair nicely with the hairball you coughed up earlier. 1.2400 0.04738 125 101 18 6
2168 I'll miss you too, but remember that I went in all five days pre-pandemic. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2169 This merlot should pair beautifully with your beef-flavored kibble. 1.2400 0.04600 125 100 20 5
2170 Is that so? I always thought catnip was something else. 1.2400 0.04873 125 102 16 7
2171 I think this would pair nicely with some crickets and a little chipmunk. 1.2397 0.03802 146 117 25 4
2172 I think you’ll like it. It’s a bold cabernet with hints of tuna. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2173 Yes I know it's called 'Zeller Schwartze Katz' but don't take it personally. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2174 Light, fruity. I should have knocked a bottle off the counter years ago. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2175 Am I getting tilapia with a hint of catnip ? 1.2397 0.05119 121 100 13 8
2176 Can we press paws for a second? 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2177 Do you like this cat-bernet? 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2178 If we are going to spend every friday night together, I figured we should get to know each other better 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2179 I think you'll really enjoy living in this neighborhood. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
2180 How can you hold that glass without opposable thumbs? 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
2181 Don’t look so happy Carl, this is not a date 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
2182 They said I should get a "Therapy Cat" 1.2394 0.04112 142 112 26 4
2183 You want to have couch privileges like a real human? Okay. This is what that looks like. 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
2184 …and then I said, “You can’t judge a wine by its box.” 1.2393 0.04953 117 95 16 6
2185 I agree. Having no neck is a cross to bare. 1.2393 0.05100 117 96 14 7
2186 So, I'm glad we could have this time together and I'm sure you can appreciate my concern about the, shall we say, profusion of hair. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2187 They say a glass a day prevents hairballs. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2188 So you believe since Cats ended you’ve been unfairly type-cast? 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
2189 First dates are always so awkward, right? 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
2190 "Care for some goldfish to balance the rosé? 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2191 I detect subtle hints of catnip. 1.2391 0.04309 138 110 23 5
2192 Did you put something in my wine? I suddenly feel like rolling on the floor and purring... 1.2391 0.04731 92 71 20 1
2193 It's not you. It's just that the birds can sing. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
2194 Well, here's to the sixth wave. 1.2391 0.04548 138 112 19 7
2195 I said 'miaow' not 'merlot'. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
2196 I can say this with certainty, Paul. This Malbec is the cat's meow. 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
2197 Are you sure this wine goes with Meow Mix? 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2198 I can't be certain it will work for you, but I began as a salamander. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
2199 The bad news is now that the pandemic is over, we should rethink your role here. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2200 Okay, just for you, just for tonight, we'll call it catbernet. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2201 I guess my ‘apricot’ and ‘chalk’ are your ‘potted fern’ and ‘kitty litter!’ 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2202 I’m tasting notes of catnip but maybe that’s just me. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
2203 We need to talk about your litter box. 1.2386 0.05110 88 69 17 2
2204 Fermented mouse squeezings. From the best French chat-eau. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
2205 Tinder is weird, right? 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2206 This wine goes well with catnip. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
2207 You may lose a life...but I have no life. 1.2385 0.04681 109 88 17 4
2208 I think I misunderstood your expectations for our date. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
2209 Ugh, merlot again? 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2210 At this point I just hope I can take care of my student loans. 1.2385 0.04401 109 87 19 3
2211 …so you probably read on my profile I’m kind of ‘a pussy man’… 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
2212 It’s a 2009 Purr-lot. 1.2385 0.04341 130 108 16 6
2213 A silver lining in Eleanor's passing is that we can now have wine and cat hair on the sofa. [ underline "and"]. 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2214 This is indeed the cat’s meow! 1.2385 0.04057 130 103 24 3
2215 And then the Cat Lady in Apt 7 said .... 1.2381 0.05332 105 86 13 6
2216 It doesn't have that mousy aroma you like, but it's still natural. 1.2381 0.04280 126 102 20 4
2217 “You may want to slow down, you have nine lives, not nine livers. 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
2218 Of course, it's not literally the hair of the dog. 1.2381 0.04704 126 102 18 6
2219 and that's how I lost my sixth life. 1.2381 0.04390 105 81 23 1
2220 I prefer the 2018 Pinot Noir to the 2016 Malbec, don't you? 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
2221 I know COVID restrictions are loosening. I'm just not ready to leave the house to date humans again. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
2222 Come on, last night we tried your thing. 1.2381 0.04594 105 82 21 2
2223 Wine, I had hoped, would relax your instinctual need to act aloof. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
2224 We're toasting because you crossed my path. 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
2225 Go ahead, lap it up. Everyone else does. 1.2381 0.04280 126 99 24 3
2226 So when do you go back to office ? 1.2381 0.05332 105 86 13 6
2227 So then the pig says, ‘I wish I was taller’… 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
2228 I don’t know how to tell you this, so I’ll just say it; I’ve become a dog person. 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
2229 ... that's when I realized, my true love has been right here all along ! " 😘 1.2381 0.04704 126 102 18 6
2230 You look exactly like your photo 1.2381 0.04426 126 100 22 4
2231 That’s my side of the couch. 1.2381 0.04594 105 82 21 2
2232 Should I take my clothes off, too? 1.2377 0.04363 122 96 23 3
2233 Here's to the one who can wag a tail. 1.2376 0.05477 101 83 12 6
2234 Don’t be shy my pet - nothing about this is strange. 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2235 What, you don't like reds? 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2236 Tinder certainly works, don't you agree? 1.2376 0.05477 101 83 12 6
2237 It’s not me, it’s you 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2238 So you’re Dilbert’s boss? That’s crazy - I know him! 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2239 I think this would pair well with salmon. What do you think? 1.2374 0.04282 139 111 23 5
2240 Sorry to tell you like this, after all these years together, but I’m leaving you for a younger cat with more lives! 1.2373 0.05061 118 97 14 7
2241 Why thank you, Frank. This is so much more engaging than ‘How’s my little Mr. Fuzzypants and a pat on the bottom.’ 1.2373 0.04766 118 95 18 5
2242 It tastes better from over here... (tap, tap, tap). 1.2373 0.04611 118 94 20 4
2243 It’s 91 years old in cat years 1.2373 0.04766 118 95 18 5
2244 Maybe now you will sleep at night! 1.2371 0.05633 97 80 11 6
2245 We need to talk about the kitty litter problem. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
2246 Now, tell me, does it taste like cat piss to you? 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
2247 There's a whole case in the cellar if you don't shred the couch. 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
2248 My mom thinks I should try out my pick-up lines before I start dating. 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
2249 I know they said we can socialize safely again, but I think we’d both agree this is much nicer, right Mr Snickers? 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
2250 This isn't the cats meow? 1.2368 0.04712 114 91 19 4
2251 They technically don't allow drinking at this SPCA, but if you sneak it in they barely police it. 1.2368 0.04629 114 93 16 5
2252 It's Eau-de-Vie. I couldn't find "Eau-de-Mice." 1.2368 0.04545 114 90 21 3
2253 I know my dating profile says I’m a cat lover, but I didn’t expect this. 1.2368 0.04874 114 92 17 5
2254 I'm not drinking alone. I'm drinking with my cat. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
2255 I’d like to consider us something more than “companions” 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
2256 I can barely control myself following your transition. 1.2365 0.04634 148 123 15 10
2257 Aromas of litterbox and fish skin; you'll love it. 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
2258 Now that you mention it the bouquet is reminiscent of cat pee. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2259 You really should consider life insurance: I can get you a discount on each of your nine lives with no money down, and the low monthly payments are really the cats meow. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
2260 I thought your profile said you didn’t drink? 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2261 In this strange land, I have no neck and you gained an opposable thumb. Let's drink to that, shall we? 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
2262 I don't have catnip, so settle for a nip. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
2263 Don’t worry, there’s plenty of fish in the sea. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
2264 Drink up - Your drink is a new product. Only 10% proof catnip 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
2265 Who needs opposable thumbs? 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
2266 The pairing is excellent given that the wine is full-bodied and so are we. 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
2267 She knew he spiked her drink, but did he know she spiked his? Those kidneys were as good as hers. 1.2358 0.05286 106 87 13 6
2268 I know you like stuff with lots of legs. 1.2358 0.04556 106 83 21 2
2269 If I knew you were bringing wine, I would have put on pants. 1.2358 0.05286 106 87 13 6
2270 Netflix and purr? 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
2271 I don’t care how expensive this wine is, I’m still not sleeping with you. 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
2272 So it said in your profile you’re a Scorpio? 1.2358 0.04250 106 90 11 5
2273 Come on over, I don't bite. 1.2358 0.04630 123 99 19 5
2274 You said you like long naps and milk, but i’ll say you really don’t look like your profile picture. 1.2358 0.05043 123 102 13 8
2275 A decent Cab Franc, yes, but I still prefer a fine, unpasteurized milk. 1.2358 0.04630 123 99 19 5
2276 I have to say this is a more equitable cuddle-time arrangement. 1.2358 0.04332 123 97 23 3
2277 If you don’t like the Shiraz, I’ll break out the tuna juice. 1.2358 0.04630 123 99 19 5
2278 I've found another rescue. 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
2279 Can I interest you in nine-life insurance? 1.2353 0.05428 102 84 12 6
2280 When I was a kitten My Mother warned me there might be a night like this! 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
2281 Who's my best girl? 1.2353 0.04658 102 80 20 2
2282 You're my friend from work and we're drinking wine. You've always been my friend from work. 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
2283 You got any milk? 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
2284 I'm a bigger pussy than you. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
2285 Silly and elegant, yet complex, with an abrasive mouth feel. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
2286 A slight hint of hairball. 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
2287 Oh you thought I meant red or white tuna, didn't you? 1.2353 0.05022 119 98 14 7
2288 I swear I never do this kind of thing. 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
2289 Once again his cat scoffed at the idea of drinking a California red. 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
2290 We can’t keep meeting like this 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
2291 This tastes like someone marking their territory. 1.2353 0.04695 136 112 16 8
2292 Man: "You can scoot in a little closer if you like" Cat: "This just doesn't feel right... I think you need more friends" 1.2353 0.04730 119 98 15 6
2293 how was the litter box today 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
2294 Anyway, where were we? Ah yes: I’m a crazy person. 1.2348 0.04283 132 105 23 4
2295 I should tell you, this is the first date I’ve been on since my wife died in 2020. 1.2348 0.04283 132 105 23 4
2296 And I promise I won’t call you my fur baby. 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
2297 Nice to have a drinking companion. The Velcro on your paw is working well. 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
2298 And then, only if you're comfortable, caviar in the bedroom..." 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2299 You are my best friend, not Fido ! 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2300 When they warned me about catfishing, this isn't what I expected... 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
2301 I have no problem with you being on the couch, as long as you are civilized about it. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2302 So now that we're loosened up, I'm thinking of getting a dog. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2303 Sorry I ate your mouse but it looked like you were done playing with it. 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
2304 I was hoping you might grace me with one of your cat-o-wine-tales. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2305 I used to be an alley cat too but now I’ve got a taste of the better things in life. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2306 The wine's imported, but I'm domestic. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2307 This is nice. Remember when you wouldn’t even look at me? 7 1.2344 0.04769 128 107 13 8
2308 So Mittens...hear me out. I think a dog could be good for both of us. 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
2309 Months of Covid laid them flat, a tasty malbec brought them back. 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
2310 Come here often? 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
2311 It's a pity you ate all the cheese. 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
2312 Perhaps a bit more tannin than you're used to, but I think you'll find the faint soupçon of catnip truly engaging... 1.2342 0.04425 111 87 22 2
2313 Covid has brought us closer together, but it's time we start seeing others. 1.2342 0.04425 111 87 22 2
2314 C'est une Chatdonnay! 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
2315 A "whine" party is more like it 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
2316 Katzenjammer 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
2317 We have so much in common. We both can’t have children! 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
2318 Here's looking at you, kid. 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
2319 A hint of hamster you say? Interesting. 1.2340 0.05542 94 77 12 5
2320 You are so sophisticated compared to my last cat. She only drank Sauterne and to make it worse it had to be in a saucer on the floor. 1.2339 0.04596 124 100 19 5
2321 I'm sure I said Muscatel. Why would I say Mouse-catel? 1.2339 0.04301 124 98 23 3
2322 It's a Moscato. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2323 Snuggles waited patiently for the ketamine to kick in. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2324 I’ve been wanting to get to know you better for a long time. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2325 I have to agree with you mate, definite note of cat pee. 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
2326 This is where Henry sat. He preferred Merlot. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2327 You know, I’ve never really done this kind of thing before. 1.2333 0.04386 120 95 22 3
2328 It's a 1982 Pinot Calico 1.2333 0.04543 120 96 20 4
2329 Men are dogs 1.2333 0.05009 90 73 14 3
2330 So darling, I've been thinking about getting a puppy. What do you think? 1.2333 0.04139 120 96 21 3
2331 I didn’t realize you were a mouser and an oenophile! 1.2331 0.04254 133 106 23 4
2332 You're the only one who understands me. 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
2333 Do you date much? 1.2330 0.05200 103 84 14 5
2334 Just keep sipping. It will make your neck grow 1.2330 0.05380 103 85 12 6
2335 Lovely home you have here. (Sniff) Do you have humans? 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2336 I taste hints of mouse. 1.2330 0.05200 103 84 14 5
2337 I don’t think there is such a thing as Purry-Furssé. 1.2330 0.05380 103 85 12 6
2338 Or, would you rather have a Purrfect Manhattan? 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2339 You really do think I should get out more? 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
2340 So you see, this couch can actually be used for more than just scratching 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
2341 Alright Phil, this is gonna cost ya 2 hours of uninterrupted red laser tag, and atleast 30 minutes of scratching that spot on my back that makes my tail stick up straight. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
2342 I think we should start seeing … others. 1.2329 0.04241 146 118 22 6
2343 You must be loving that I work from home every day now. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
2344 You may find it more exciting than gold fish. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
2345 I can also offer you some water from the toilet if you would prefer that. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
2346 A saucy little red with notes of tuna and mackerel. 1.2328 0.04127 116 90 25 1
2347 Would you prefer a bowl? 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
2348 You've thrown me off a bit because you look so much younger in your photo. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
2349 I must admit you are the first cat I've ever had over for a glass of wine. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
2350 ‘No, it’s perfectly normal’ 1.2326 0.04861 129 107 14 8
2351 Shae’s therapeutic cat started drinking again. 1.2326 0.04045 129 106 20 3
2352 Trust me, I'm just going to pet your head. 1.2323 0.05339 99 81 13 5
2353 To think, all this time I thought you were using a video filter. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2354 You can have a refill if you promise not to claw the furniture like you did last time. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2355 Do you understand how much I want you to be a substitute for everything? 1.2323 0.05142 99 82 12 5
2356 I know Chianti is not your favorite, but my therapist says I shouldn't drink alone. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2357 How's the wife? 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2358 Can’t believe I used to get drunk on the couch without you. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2359 No, let's not. How about if i drink in memory of Fido and YOU drink to the fact that he's gone? 1.2321 0.04570 112 89 20 3
2360 So you want to be the only cat and you don't play well with children. I could make that happen. 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
2361 Thank you for supporting my mental health. 1.2321 0.04570 112 89 20 3
2362 Let's wine and feline. 1.2321 0.04570 112 89 20 3
2363 …blackberry, cherry, and a slight hint of tuna. 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
2364 You didn't wear the white boots tonight? 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
2365 You put catnip in here, didn’t you? Well, I peed in yours… 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
2366 At first I was skeptical about ayahuasca tea in a wine glass but now I really see your point. 1.2320 0.04271 125 107 12 6
2367 Off-bran litter I can learn to live with. But, Dave, this cheap swill is just too much! 1.2319 0.04517 138 113 18 7
2368 The others should be here soon. Have you met Mr and Mrs Wolf from next door? 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
2369 I find it helps when you feel like climbing the walls. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2370 You're one year off. It's an '83. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2371 I know you miss your ex. But look at it this way - you don’t have to compete with twelve other cats for attention. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2372 Wow thanks to covid I’ve gotten to know Chester on a whole new level. 1.2316 0.04601 95 74 20 1
2373 …so then YOU respond by saying, “Nice bouquet. 1.2316 0.05689 95 79 10 6
2374 Swirl it around before putting it in your mouth - just like a mouse. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
2375 I'm so glad to finally have someone who loves to listen to my opinions on everything. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
2376 It has hints of raspberries and a dash of catnip. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
2377 What domestic wine again? 1.2315 0.04671 108 89 15 4
2378 I found "Cats" to be just too pretentious. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
2379 I just want you to accept me. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
2380 Oh that's just some of your old sheddings. They enhance the aging process quite flavorfully - I call it "furmentationI". 1.2315 0.04763 108 89 14 5
2381 I detect notes of litter box. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
2382 I’ve never had a meow à trois, but my therapist told me I need to be more open-minded 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
2383 That wasn't what I meant. 1.2314 0.04805 121 99 16 6
2384 You're right. Necks ARE overrated! 1.2314 0.04354 121 96 22 3
2385 I'm really only a social drinker. 1.2314 0.04192 121 95 24 2
2386 Pfff … It doesn’t taste like mouse at all … 1.2314 0.04509 121 97 20 4
2387 I swear it was only one pet 1.2314 0.04946 121 100 14 7
2388 Don’t worry, the legal drinking age for cats is 2 years old. 1.2314 0.04509 121 97 20 4
2389 A good way to finish a fancy feast meal, wouldn't you say? 1.2313 0.04357 134 108 21 5
2390 Seafood medley with red wine... really? 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
2391 Who farted? 1.2308 0.04708 91 71 19 1
2392 I just realized they said it would pair best with FIELD mice. 1.2308 0.04272 117 94 20 3
2393 '"There's something I've been meaning to ask you." 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2394 It's a naive little domestic, but I think you'll be amused at its presumption. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2395 So, are we now in a domestic partnership? 1.2308 0.04371 104 81 22 1
2396 So Kitty, you just happened to overhear the dog calling Animal Control? 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2397 Now that you mention it, it does have hints of catnip and fur balls. 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
2398 Did the catnip kick in? 1.2308 0.04827 130 108 14 8
2399 Ew,one of your hairs is in it. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2400 Sorry about this ID thing, but I need to make sure you're not just a kitty." 1.2308 0.05333 104 86 12 6
2401 2014, the year of your 7th life. 1.2308 0.04761 117 95 17 5
2402 Anything interesting happen at the feeder? 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
2403 I told you I wanted white 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
2404 Well, actually, wine is my spirit animal. 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
2405 Anything to make you prr again. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2406 I’ve enjoyed having you work from home but I would like my space back. It’s time for you to go back to the office. 1.2308 0.05651 91 75 11 5
2407 Well, my ex was a tabby. And you know what that means… 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2408 I thought maybe if we had a drink together, you might act a little bit more sociable toward me. 1.2302 0.04249 139 112 22 5
2409 This full-bodied one has great legs and a mousy nose with barnyard notes. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2410 A bit of rosé to relax us before mousing. 1.2302 0.04668 126 103 17 6
2411 On the other hand, we both love comfort, right? 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2412 You know, sometimes they say the person of your dreams has been right in front of you all along... 1.2301 0.04171 113 88 24 1
2413 Yes. It's Catbernet! 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2414 I'm hoping it may make you a bit less standoffish. 1.2301 0.04356 113 89 22 2
2415 Well, shit Bob. This is awkward. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2416 Rough day at work? 1.2301 0.04534 113 92 17 4
2417 No, it's not a prank, cat urine is one of its signature flavours. 1.2300 0.05291 100 82 13 5
2418 Don't give me that look. It's not merlot 1.2300 0.04462 100 78 21 1
2419 Thank you for your tip on how to get red wine out with white wine, but we both know that's not the problem. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2420 Why would you think it's okay to serve merlot? I'm a cat, not an animal. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
2421 Wow, the first 8 went quickly, cheers to a long number 9. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2422 You Garfield, me T S Eliot. 1.2300 0.05478 100 83 11 6
2423 I’ve been thinking maybe it’s time we take our relationship to the next level. 1.2300 0.05660 100 84 9 7
2424 Frankly I’m tired of catting around 1.2300 0.05291 100 82 13 5
2425 This one’s a Pinot meow 1.2300 0.05478 100 83 11 6
2426 A delectable Pinot noir; truly the cat's meow. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2427 This is the worst wine I've tasted since I became a professional sommeowlier! 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2428 We've hardly scratched the surface of this relationship 1.2296 0.04328 135 109 21 5
2429 impressive but without thumbs you are just posing 1.2296 0.04198 135 108 23 4
2430 It really IS not drinking alone when the cat's home. 1.2295 0.04322 122 97 22 3
2431 I can't get catnip curbside, but this is a lovely Cabernet. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
2432 I notice your feet are invisible. Is that new? 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
2433 Would you like some cheese with that wine or is that just with mice? 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
2434 I agree.First dates can be a little awkward. 1.2295 0.04162 122 96 24 2
2435 This'll put hair on my chest. 1.2294 0.04813 109 90 14 5
2436 Consider it a reward for clearing the mice out of the apartment. 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
2437 I'm happy you stopped scratching the couch, but now you need to watch it with the red wine 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
2438 I know it's not on your diet, but live a little. You can cut back on the kibble. 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
2439 Aged to purrfection, don't you think? 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
2440 Thanks for your help with the online meeting. Between your content and my allergies, I won't be wanted back in the office for weeks. 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
2441 Please, tell me more. I want to hear all about your evil plan for world conquest and domination. 1.2294 0.05316 109 91 11 7
2442 i think we've come a long way in the last 2 years... 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
2443 Cheers! Here’s to life number eight! 1.2294 0.04446 109 86 21 2
2444 Come sit closer so that I can hear you purr. 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
2445 How many more before you’re a lap cat? 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
2446 Hmm...I have my doubts about the color 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
2447 Scooch closer, little fella. Let's see that beautiful tail!" 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
2448 Fluffy didn’t appreciate Harold’s advances, but did truly love the Pinot. 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
2449 «I threw the stick, but I promise, I did not want to play.» 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
2450 ...robust, earthy with a hint of catnip. 1.2290 0.04411 131 106 20 5
2451 It’s over, it’s only us again. 1.2290 0.04411 131 106 20 5
2452 After we polish off the vino what do you say we scratch this thing to shreds? 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
2453 It's a red, like your ball of yarn. 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
2454 A very nice Cabernip. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
2455 It has a pleasing complexity of apple, grape plus catnip. 1.2288 0.04408 118 94 21 3
2456 This would pair well with fancy feast. 1.2288 0.04240 118 93 23 2
2457 You said this Chardonnay is Puuurrrrrfect? 1.2288 0.04876 118 97 15 6
2458 I'll be honest, I don't do this often. 1.2288 0.04408 118 94 21 3
2459 I was catfished! 1.2288 0.04408 118 94 21 3
2460 No, asking me if I prefer a”meowlot” over a “clawdinay” is not offensive. By the way, I’m being sarcatstic. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2461 Thanks for joining me. I know you hate to socialize. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2462 I think you'll like this one. I detect notes of catnip and liver paté. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2463 With 1 being "not interested" and 10 being "very interested," is your desire to throw the wine onto the couch an 11 or a 12? 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2464 It goes great with fish. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2465 Wait, seriously? Orange fur. Lazy. Hates Mondays. Loves lasagna. Quippy dialogue. How have you possibly not heard of this? You honestly have to watch, it'd be right up your alley. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2466 This'll make cleaning your litterbox more enjoyable." 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2467 Catnip is so pedestrian. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2468 Of course I’ll open a white later to go with the fish. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2469 It’s not you, I’m just not ready to settle. 1.2283 0.04060 127 100 25 2
2470 White is fine if that's all you have. 1.2283 0.04635 127 104 17 6
2471 1983? So this wine dates back to my 3rd life? 1.2283 0.04498 127 103 19 5
2472 They say it pairs well with kibble. 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
2473 I’m going to need more wine for this. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
2474 It doesn't taste like your own ass, but maybe it'll grow on you. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
2475 You don’t say…Really 9 lives? 1.2281 0.04323 114 90 22 2
2476 Yours is a 2016 vintage milk. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
2477 Are you ready to move in? 1.2281 0.04323 114 92 19 3
2478 Actually, I really don’t think that “man’s best friend” has any meaning … 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
2479 Senor Gato, what is your rating? 'The cat's meow' or 'the cat's pajamas?' 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
2480 That's just an expression meaning I don't like the wine. 1.2281 0.03947 114 96 15 3
2481 I’ve been saving it for a mediocre occasion 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
2482 I believe you had a lot going on in your life. Some more milk? 1.2279 0.04299 136 110 21 5
2483 When we get a coffee table I'll do a chacuterie. 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
2484 It lasts longer than catnip. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
2485 Well,what can I say? The dog prefers beer. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
2486 I promised my AA partner I would never drink k alone. 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
2487 Felix, I think your business idea of marketing boxed wine to felines is certainly a good one, but the brand “cat box wine” just isn’t appealing. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
2488 Purrsecco? You're cheap and corny. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
2489 Oh my, I didn't plan a litter box. 1.2277 0.04194 101 78 23 0
2490 this feels weird! I can’t wait for you to go back to the office 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
2491 I read that Pinot Noir is well matched with hair balls. 1.2276 0.04591 123 100 18 5
2492 And then I said, “Lick MY butt? As if, Carolyn!” 1.2276 0.04734 123 101 16 6
2493 Oh. Then let me tell you about me instead. 1.2276 0.04005 145 116 25 4
2494 A toast that we both survived being together with no alone time. 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
2495 Schroedinger’s Cat Paradox: While, seemingly, very much alive, Flossy was bored to death by a long-winded description of her master’s thought experiment. 1.2273 0.04637 132 109 16 7
2496 Tastes like my tuna water with a hint of oak and French grapes. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2497 Ha! I just gave you the pill! 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
2498 If you think the alcohol is going to increase your chances of petting me, then you are sorely mistaken. 1.2273 0.04511 132 108 18 6
2499 The dog likes beer. You like wine. Let's start there. 1.2273 0.04014 110 85 25 0
2500 After being Catfished for the 9th time...Tiger was finally done with online dating. 1.2273 0.05111 110 91 13 6
2501 and . . . I can land on all fours every time! 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2502 Here’s to us. Cheers! 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
2503 I had my reservations about adopting a pandemic cat, but I think we’ve been doing real well! 1.2273 0.04217 110 86 23 1
2504 I know they say this is the cats pajamas but you literally haven’t gotten out of your pajamas since quarantine 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
2505 so are you headed back to the office anytime soon? 1.2273 0.05766 88 73 10 5
2506 I'm sure it's cat-o-clock somewhere. 1.2273 0.05271 110 92 11 7
2507 Well, this brings a whole new meaning to being catfished. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2508 I thought we agreed to do more things together that I like. 1.2270 0.04072 141 113 24 4
2509 Cherries, oak and notes of human lonliness 1.2269 0.04839 119 98 15 6
2510 As long as we maintain a safe distance! 1.2269 0.04535 119 96 19 4
2511 Here’s to your ninth life. 1.2269 0.04375 119 95 21 3
2512 I know you prefer reds, but try this Chardonnay. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2513 So, how many times should we toast, 'To life'? 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2514 Which of your lives enjoys a good Pesach? 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2515 Here's to Fluffy and that unfortunate microwave accident. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2516 Isn't it interesting how we both seem to have no neck. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2517 Ralph was once again dapperly dressed enjoying a “caturday night” with his overtly sophisticated companion wondering why anyone in 2022 would actually want to engage with someone who gave a damn! 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2518 So I asked him, ‘Why shouldn’t I date members of other species?’ But then he drooled on me. That’s why I’m going for cats now. 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2519 You’re the only one who gets me 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2520 Russell, you're never going to lose that weight until you stop the midnight snacking. 1.2266 0.04327 128 103 21 4
2521 You’re cooler than, well, your pajamas. 1.2266 0.04466 128 104 19 5
2522 I would offer you cheese but they've absconded with it once again — that's what I'd like to talk to you about. 1.2266 0.04182 128 102 23 3
2523 I got felines for you. 1.2266 0.04327 128 103 21 4
2524 I find two of these and you’re catatonic.” 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
2525 It's toilet water, you'll like it. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
2526 Shall we chug on 'three'? 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
2527 I think you’ll like it. It’s a robust feline blend with a fishy nose and a hint of catnip. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
2528 Scoot over here and we'll clink glasses like real friends. 1.2264 0.04084 106 86 18 2
2529 Do you view our relationship as too liberal or too conservative? 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
2530 Do all your sitters bring wine? 1.2264 0.04299 106 83 22 1
2531 I think we’re going to enjoy our little cat chat! Drink up! 1.2261 0.04108 115 90 24 1
2532 Okay, maybe 'hair of the dog' wasn't appropriate. 1.2261 0.04950 115 95 14 6
2533 Puss, let me tell you, all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't help me, but the plastic surgeon on Front Street was a life changer. 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
2534 Well, it's supposed to smell like cat's pee, it's Sauvignon blanc. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2535 I was never a cat lover until I met you. 1.2258 0.04699 124 102 16 6
2536 I think we have come to a good understanding since the Covid lockdown. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2537 Do you have any regrets that your life is lived without regret? 1.2258 0.04837 124 103 14 7
2538 I'm glad we never found anyone better. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2539 You're the first furry I've dated. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2540 I thought you were the designated driver. 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
2541 I think it's time about we talk about "personal space." 1.2258 0.04411 124 100 20 4
2542 Maybe both of us have another glass of wine, you come sit on my lap, and we just see where the evening takes us? 1.2258 0.04557 124 101 18 5
2543 To wine lives 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2544 So if I grab you by the scruff of your neck, you're totally immobilized? Like, you can't do anything at all? That's so crazy... 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2545 So, what do you think of this cat-bernet? 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2546 This wine is the cat's meow 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2547 I think you'll find that red wine goes well with fish. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2548 So we agree, I give you fresh tuna for dinner and you won't pounce on my face at 3 AM. I'm glad we had this little talk. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2549 I appreciate the fact that, unlike the dog, you don't insist on a beer. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2550 Sorry, I would've worn clothes if I'd known this was a date. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2551 I know, Sauvignon tastes like your piss 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2552 Let’s not and say we did 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2553 I thought you'd appreciate its insouciance. 1.2252 0.05069 111 92 13 6
2554 NO! I did not...er...sneak your pill into it... 1.2252 0.04183 111 87 23 1
2555 He's going to ask me how I like the wine and all I want is a nap. 1.2252 0.04904 111 91 15 5
2556 Are you picking up that rich, creamy body? 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
2557 Drink up ... the dogs away !! 1.2252 0.04375 111 88 21 2
2558 I always thought of myself more as a dog person but people can change. 1.2252 0.04375 111 88 21 2
2559 You wanna go snuggle or just drink ourselves into oblivion? 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
2560 May I assume you know Lily through her late husband, Mr. Mittens? 1.2252 0.04904 111 93 12 6
2561 Tell me when you’re ready for friskies. 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
2562 You know, the Word Jumble solution today was "neuter'. Which reminds me, I've been meaning to talk to you... 1.2252 0.05069 111 92 13 6
2563 Before we go any further, I wanted to ask — are you more of an indoor or an outdoor cat? 1.2252 0.05069 111 92 13 6
2564 I said terrior, Clive, not terrier. 1.2252 0.04375 111 88 21 2
2565 I think you'll like it. It's a 2010 Caternet Sauvignon with an opulent mousy texture and subtle undertones of cat nip. 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
2566 No, I’m fine over here, thanks. 1.2252 0.04735 111 90 17 4
2567 Thanks for making me feel social again you purrrfect feline. 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
2568 Before we get started, can you tell me the last time you were brushed? This is an expensive couch. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
2569 I feel like cats appreciate the subtleties of pinot noir much more than dogs. Don't you? 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
2570 I'm not sure I like the new dynamic in this relationship. 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
2571 I just need to know - are you in or out? 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
2572 Trust me. A Châteauneuf-du-Pape 2015 is the preferred pairing for mouse. 1.2248 0.04435 129 105 19 5
2573 It's a sulfite-forward varietal aged in a porcelain tank. 1.2247 0.04990 89 73 13 3
2574 Ok fine. Maybe my idea of a fancy feast differs from yours. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2575 First off, I hope red’s okay. Second off, I need you out of the house by Tuesday. I decided I’m not a cat person anymore 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2576 I hate Mondays 1.2247 0.05926 89 75 8 6
2577 So how was your day? My afternoon was spent getting my beautiful fur all over your couch. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2578 Fine, I'll just open a petit friske 1.2246 0.03851 138 109 27 2
2579 I thought you said felines and not feelings. Ugh. 1.2246 0.04243 138 112 21 5
2580 Yes, I agree we have to do something about the dogs drinking problem. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2581 'Give it a try, the Former President said it would dissolve hairballs" 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
2582 And does catnip occupy a place in the annals of feline culture as champagne does for humans? 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2583 this is nice...we never talk 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
2584 Making friends with a new girlfriend's cat used to require just a rub of the whiskers and a can of tuna. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
2585 Doesn’t smell vegan to me 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
2586 I find my aloofness has always been my biggest strength 1.2245 0.05529 98 82 10 6
2587 It has notes of oak and mouse. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2588 Yes, I do like it more than catnip 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
2589 So, even though Humpty Dumpty and the Cheshire Cat don't belong in the same story, there's no reason why they can enjoy a nice glass of cabernet together. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2590 I had no idea you liked wine 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2591 I usually don't let cats on the furniture on the first date. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2592 I prefer Meowmi. 1.2243 0.04466 107 88 16 3
2593 We need to talk about bathroom schedules. 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2594 No need to loosen my inhibitions, I still won't be affectionate. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2595 Why not sit a little closer? 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2596 Well I can confidently say this is the first time I’ve been catfished by an actual cat. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2597 Especially for you -- a Chat Eau du Pee-pee. 1.2241 0.04756 116 95 16 5
2598 Were not that much different 1.2241 0.04756 116 95 16 5
2599 So .... Is sitting on the couch as good as you thought it would be? 1.2241 0.04756 116 95 16 5
2600 Sorry, I am lactose-sensitive. 1.2241 0.04257 116 92 22 2
2601 You’ve only got nine lives, but those memes will live forever. 1.2241 0.04911 116 96 14 6
2602 Yes, she has a dog, but he is "really" friendly. 1.2241 0.04756 116 95 16 5
2603 Your plan was successful. I told them I couldn't RTW without you. They said someone in the office is allergic, so I'd need to WFH. 1.2240 0.04379 125 101 20 4
2604 Have I been Catfished? 1.2240 0.04230 125 100 22 3
2605 Okay, I understand now that the litter box is just for you. 1.2240 0.04665 125 103 16 6
2606 I've realized I'd rather be with someone who doesn't have the flexibility to work from home." 1.2240 0.04665 125 103 16 6
2607 You know Bella, the pandemic has been bad, but I am so glad for how close we are now. 1.2238 0.04259 143 117 20 6
2608 Regrettably, neither Warren nor Miffles realised that too much party wine could leave them neckless. 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
2609 Your first time using a dating app? 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2610 'Personally I prefer shrimp cocktail.' 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2611 I still can’t get over how different you are from your profile photo! 1.2234 0.05486 94 78 11 5
2612 I'm hoping you'll learn to love me too. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2613 So… tell me about your first eight lives. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2614 Relax, it’s Cabernet Salmignon. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2615 Cat: ok, you can seat on MY couch, how was your workday anyway? 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2616 See? It's good for more than scratching. 1.2233 0.04766 103 85 14 4
2617 Yes, of course you are right, I need to get out more. 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
2618 So you're looking for a boyfriend who WILL string you along? 1.2233 0.04348 103 81 21 1
2619 It’s called a cat-bernet… 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2620 You won't like it 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2621 It was a tough choice between the Purrsecco and the Pinot Meow! 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2622 I think you'll like it. It's a cat-bernet. 1.2233 0.05150 103 85 13 5
2623 It’s safe to say we know who’ll first land on all fours. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2624 my street cred is gone - the cats on the block are saying i look soft like my owner. 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
2625 Yes, I like scratches behind the ears as well 1.2233 0.05150 103 85 13 5
2626 You're only allowed to drink with me until I've got some friends 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
2627 I’m on the pill for allergies 1.2232 0.05027 112 93 13 6
2628 I like a hearty tabernet with liver. Of course, you may prefer a purrlot. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
2629 Isn't this wine just purrfect? 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
2630 I can see you're dubious, but trust me, it's way better than water. 1.2232 0.05027 112 93 13 6
2631 And if you move in with me, you will enjoy life-time supply of mice. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
2632 I think you'll find the finish rather curious. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
2633 This catbernet meowlot blend is showing purrfectly, don't you agree?” 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
2634 I’m so glad you look exactly like your pictures on your profile. 1.2232 0.05027 112 93 13 6
2635 Here's to another year without rats in the Rathskeller. 1.2231 0.04147 121 103 14 4
2636 Not to be catty, but I wonder why this wine tastes so mousy. 1.2231 0.04267 130 105 21 4
2637 I don't know if you were just playing, but I'm really happy you swiped right. 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2638 You've never seen any musical other than Cats! 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
2639 This just feels right. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
2640 Try again. There's an umlaut. Ge-würz-tram-i-ner. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2641 I think we both received the wrong information from the dating app, but I'm ok with it, how about you? 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
2642 I do detect a bouquet of honeysuckle, mint, and catnip. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2643 See, I didn't even KNOW you could make wine out of mice. 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
2644 The mice will shortly arrive with cheese and crackers. 1.2222 0.04225 117 93 22 2
2645 As I was telling you, I've been out of the dating game for a long time! 1.2222 0.04046 117 92 24 1
2646 Liquid mice, really? 1.2222 0.04804 108 88 16 4
2647 It's polite to call it Gooseberry, not cat pee. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
2648 Cheers. When we finish, I’ll groom you, you groom me. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2649 MEOW TO YOU! 1.2222 0.05151 108 90 12 6
2650 This is not what I had in mind when I requested a little pussy. 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2651 All I’m saying is it would be nice if you cleaned out MY litter box every once in a while. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2652 Well Boots, this is a delightful surprise. You deserve it Puss now that you've mastered the litter box! 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
2653 The reviewers think it's the cat's meow. 1.2222 0.04665 99 79 18 2
2654 So you see, I do consider you a peer. Now, about your half of the rent... 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
2655 If you could just stop licking yourself in public I think we could work this thing out. 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2656 Just try it! 'Cat pee' is a common descriptor for the aroma of sauvignon blanc. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2657 I think that you will find that it has a pleasing aroma of catnip! 1.2222 0.04200 126 101 22 3
2658 Now that the pandemic is winding down, I feel it’s time we got back to normal. 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
2659 Get it? Meowlot 1.2222 0.04492 126 105 15 6
2660 Could we talk about litter box etiquette? 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2661 What I miss about quarantine. 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2662 I too taste notes of dander 1.2222 0.05478 99 83 10 6
2663 So I told them I'd rather stay home and drink wine with you! 1.2222 0.04492 126 103 18 5
2664 I do think an oak-y chardonnay would go better with tuna. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2665 It has notes of Catnip, so I thought you’d like it. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
2666 Those are the rules if you want to live here: 5:00 Happy Hour! 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2667 While I maul you and rip you to shreds we can conduct cease fire talks in earnest. Trust me, I’m Russian. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
2668 So, guess you're wondering what's in it for me? 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2669 I can’t taste the plum but my palate isn’t as refined as yours, Binx 1.2222 0.04665 99 79 18 2
2670 I wouldn’t worry about that promotion , everyone thinks you’re the cats meow! 1.2222 0.04348 126 102 20 4
2671 how do you like the Catbernet? 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2672 First, you're supposed to absorb the bouquet. 1.2213 0.04871 122 102 13 7
2673 But where's the shrimp? 1.2213 0.04730 122 101 15 6
2674 This Cabernet comes from the Look What the Cat Dragged In vineyard of Napa. 1.2213 0.04584 122 100 17 5
2675 Just look at those legs. 1.2213 0.04279 122 100 18 4
2676 Yes, you could say, this is a nice “Cat Nip!” 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
2677 do you want me to add a bit of catnip? 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
2678 Stop saying everything is purrrfect……it’s annoying 1.2212 0.04486 113 91 19 3
2679 It's a DogBreath Chablis....7 dog years. 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
2680 This wine is purr-fection! 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
2681 So, how long have you been 'out? 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2682 Yes, a delicate herbal character, with catnip overtones. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2683 It has a bit of a barnyard tang, and goes well with Friskie's poultry flavors 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2684 This "Cat-bernet" has more than a hint of catnip. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2685 So then I said, “I don’t care who you are, you’ll have to take your shoes off if you want to stay.” 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
2686 Are you familar with the works of Felix? 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2687 It's just a saying. If you like it you can purr instead of meowing 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2688 Well, Gary, I don't know if chasing lint is really the right career for me anymore. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2689 I don't mind drinking wine with you, but would you please get off the couch? 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2690 I realize now I was setting you up for failure the moment I took out the laser pointer. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2691 I was kind of hoping we could make this our regular thing. 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
2692 This one pairs beautifully with mangled sparrow. 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
2693 Not bad for a Cat-du-Rhône. 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2694 I’m sorry that you’re going to have go through all of this nonsense 8 more times… 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2695 It’s full bodied with notes of fresh mouse. 1.2211 0.05433 95 79 11 5
2696 While I respect your feelings in the matter, I do wonder whether you are being reasonable in your assessment of how the new puppy could possibly interfere with our relationship. 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2697 Funny thing, my word of the day today was 'neuter' from the Middle English neutre, and from the Latin neuter... 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2698 Yes, it's true, a glass a day keeps the vet away, and who are you to question Harvard's findings? 1.2211 0.04534 95 75 19 1
2699 OK, yes, I did put your pills in there. 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
2700 I agree. The last bottle was better than this one by exactly a whisker. 1.2206 0.04134 136 112 19 5
2701 I don’t care what they say, you are not finicky! 1.2205 0.04017 127 103 21 3
2702 This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I joined that new dating site! 1.2205 0.04170 127 105 18 4
2703 Come closer, my pet. 1.2203 0.04525 118 96 18 4
2704 More catbernet? 1.2203 0.04525 118 96 18 4
2705 Love her PURR. Sure wish I had my specs. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
2706 you can come closer. i don't have any fleas. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
2707 We seem to be in a different phase of our relationship since the lockdown started. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
2708 If you think this is nice,wait until you see my bathroom. 1.2202 0.04939 109