Contest #797


Cartoon

797

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “We can all hear you snoring in there, Steve.”
  2. “Your horse is in my parking spot again.”
  3. “You clanked?”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2022-04-03T20:04:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2022-04-17T20:06:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2022-04-11T20:06:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued April 18, 2022
Number of captions 5796
Number of responses 757281
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Is this a Middle Age crisis? 1.8600 0.01125 5116 2065 1702 1349
1 If you think that’s uncomfortable you should try wearing heels. 1.8595 0.01205 4378 1743 1507 1128
2 It says here that you're a free lancer. 1.8568 0.01374 3295 1295 1177 823
3 My pronouns are thy, thou, and thine. 1.8466 0.01063 6022 2591 1771 1660
4 You’re not a knight, Doug, and I’m not your wench. Get your own coffee. 1.8438 0.01422 3348 1436 999 913
5 There's a damsel on line one. Sounds important. 1.8433 0.01256 3879 1538 1411 930
6 Must you turn everything into a crusade! 1.8379 0.01141 4948 2065 1625 1258
7 You could just get the shot. 1.8372 0.01361 3477 1448 1147 882
8 Well, you know what they say––dress for the job you want, not the job you have. 1.8353 0.01388 3096 1220 1166 710
9 Why not just get vaccinated 1.8348 0.01404 3348 1426 1049 873
10 Shirley, you joust? 1.8284 0.01338 3718 1611 1134 973
11 That could be anyone's horse in your parking spot. 1.8278 0.01471 2915 1213 991 711
12 I can live with damsel. Harlot or wench and I go to HR. 1.8223 0.01453 3163 1387 951 825
13 Did you get the chain mail I sent you? 1.8204 0.01550 2651 1125 877 649
14 You’re seriously asking why my bathroom breaks are so long? 1.8153 0.01094 5188 2182 1785 1221
15 Yes, I am also wearing Under Armour. 1.8147 0.01580 2574 1109 833 632
16 My pronouns are Thee/Thou. 1.8137 0.01269 4117 1819 1246 1052
17 Enough already,Larry. We all got the booster. 1.7965 0.01305 3562 1516 1255 791
18 Your horse is in my parking spot again. 1.7960 0.01125 4844 2080 1672 1092
19 It looks like I've been assigned to queen's bishop 3. Where the hell is that? 1.7930 0.01450 3053 1361 963 729
20 You left your grail in the sink again. 1.7903 0.01838 1860 820 610 430
21 I don't think you understand what she meant when she said wear protection. 1.7887 0.01510 2858 1297 868 693
22 My preferred pronoun is Sir. 1.7831 0.01423 2960 1278 1046 636
23 I was promised a round table 1.7829 0.01435 2861 1220 1042 599
24 What do you mean by an 'antiquated and hostile' work environment? 1.7811 0.01373 3147 1353 1130 664
25 I think you misunderstood me when I said this is a night job. 1.7784 0.01517 2676 1186 897 593
26 I think an N95 would suffice. 1.7780 0.01412 2946 1265 1070 611
27 Just remember, Doris: it's not just a visor. It's a supervisor. 1.7721 0.01273 3796 1698 1265 833
28 I believe the conference room has a round table. 1.7717 0.01674 2037 867 768 402
29 The WD-40 rep is here to see you, Sire 1.7690 0.01407 2996 1314 1060 622
30 Yes, we do have a rigid dress code. 1.7662 0.01439 2759 1188 1029 542
31 No Steven, it's ARBOR Day. 1.7652 0.01289 3774 1730 1200 844
32 Legal has a problem with ‘lay siege’. 1.7620 0.02536 937 420 320 197
33 And I assume you have receipts for that crusade? 1.7611 0.02384 1084 494 355 235
34 You seem a little defensive. 1.7564 0.01275 3572 1580 1284 708
35 I consider it not so much an assignment as a quest. 1.7563 0.01351 2868 1185 1197 486
36 What makes you think I'm in a combative mood? 1.7495 0.01552 2339 1025 875 439
37 I thought this was a mid-level position, not a medieval position 1.7471 0.02019 1396 618 513 265
38 Sorry, Arthur, but you're still a pawn just like the rest of us. 1.7466 0.01550 2482 1134 843 505
39 Please, that's the third time this morning I've heard, 'Surely you joust' 1.7443 0.01831 1803 834 596 373
40 So we're done with masks? 1.7390 0.02145 1253 567 446 240
41 As you see from the feedback, some employees find it difficult to get through to you. 1.7342 0.01404 2694 1171 1071 452
42 I AM wearing a suit. 1.7340 0.02874 688 311 249 128
43 Knight shift again? 1.7213 0.02314 1098 518 368 212
44 I think you misunderstood what was meant by 'night shift.' 1.7183 0.01665 2027 935 728 364
45 How long have you worked the knight shift? 1.7143 0.01744 1855 864 657 334
46 Coffee, muffin and a can of WD-40. 1.7085 0.01774 1794 844 629 321
47 What do you mean I'm no longer suited for this job? 1.7080 0.01736 1798 826 671 301
48 I hate Medieval Mondays 1.6968 0.01947 1494 718 511 265
49 We can all hear you snoring in there, Steve 1.6914 0.02076 1484 774 394 316
50 Working the knight shift again? 1.6876 0.02096 1306 645 426 235
51 I'd like some eye contact, Lance. 1.6855 0.02142 1205 582 420 203
52 I just got so used to wearing whatever I wanted working from home. 1.6853 0.02182 1252 632 382 238
53 That's great, Kevin. But if you could also defend the honor of those expense reports before you leave, accounting would appreciate it. 1.6822 0.02124 1199 575 430 194
54 Actually, I’m the knight shift manager. 1.6797 0.02194 1155 565 395 195
55 I told you on the phone that I was middle-aged" 1.6792 0.02065 1381 699 426 256
56 Management needs that dragon slain by COB today. 1.6776 0.02165 1191 586 403 202
57 I really prefer working at a round table” 1.6764 0.02142 1168 563 420 185
58 I'm ready... send in the auditors. 1.6759 0.02198 1154 569 390 195
59 You clanked? 1.6738 0.02311 1079 544 343 192
60 Yes,I am back. Turns out the pen is mightier than the sword. 1.6718 0.02222 1173 595 368 210
61 Yes, you've made your point about a hostile work environment. 1.6654 0.02238 1055 514 380 161
62 When I said to dress like you are middle aged, you misunderstood. 1.6620 0.02392 1083 580 289 214
63 You think this will make me call you Sir, don't you? 1.6613 0.02306 1116 584 326 206
64 I take it you're riding the subway home tonight. 1.6602 0.02365 1024 526 320 178
65 I'm from occupational health; you're wearing the mask upside down 1.6585 0.02468 978 515 282 181
66 You may find our company culture to be a bit antiquated. 1.6574 0.02420 864 417 326 121
67 So, just to let you know, the women in the office aren't happy with being referred to as damsels. 1.6573 0.02318 1033 524 339 170
68 Laundry day? 1.6559 0.02516 933 491 272 170
69 Frankly, some co-workers find your personal style stiff and defensive. 1.6532 0.02337 992 500 336 156
70 You know we can wear jeans on Fridays, right? 1.6520 0.02461 934 483 293 158
71 Just a heads up. They are starting to use the metal detectors again. 1.6518 0.03270 517 264 169 84
72 Sir, I believe the mask mandate has been lifted. 1.6495 0.02451 953 503 285 165
73 Didn't you get the memo? Chivalry is dead. 1.6493 0.02453 941 489 293 159
74 I'm Bob. Bill was three knights ago. 1.6472 0.02576 907 489 249 169
75 So, Hank said no to the round table. 1.6437 0.02540 856 443 275 138
76 It says here you requested the knight shift. 1.6436 0.02532 822 417 282 123
77 I was in court all morning. 1.6424 0.02589 797 421 249 127
78 It's nice to be back in the office, but frankly I feel a little rusty. 1.6417 0.02556 829 437 261 131
79 They all think you are being too guarded. 1.6410 0.02583 780 393 274 113
80 You can call in Will Smith now 1.6401 0.02804 778 428 202 148
81 I was told I would be working the knight shift. 1.6400 0.02563 861 456 260 145
82 It started as a quest but inadvertently turned into a career. 1.6378 0.02513 809 406 290 113
83 Your 10 o'clock has thrown down the gauntlet, so I moved your holy quest up a little. 1.6365 0.02618 817 431 252 134
84 Your 2 o'clock canceled, oh and by the way the barbarians are at the gate again. 1.6348 0.02578 838 442 260 136
85 You have the roundtable at 10, sir. 1.6344 0.02703 807 439 224 144
86 I call it my power suit. 1.6333 0.02762 649 323 241 85
87 A siege might work, but let’s start with an email. 1.6330 0.02596 782 414 249 119
88 I'm sorry sir, but all the round tables are booked. 1.6318 0.02690 793 427 231 135
89 Whatever, Randy. I'm still not calling you "Sir." 1.6287 0.02772 711 375 225 111
90 Have you considered just getting the booster? 1.6282 0.02796 737 400 211 126
91 You win--go back to working from home. 1.6280 0.02798 672 348 226 98
92 I thought I was applying for the 'night shift'. 1.6244 0.02905 671 363 197 111
93 I'm sorry but you are not suited for the job. 1.6240 0.02668 750 394 244 112
94 Ask around discretely if anyone's seen a codpiece. 1.6192 0.02884 717 402 186 129
95 Maybe you'd feel safer working from home. 1.6169 0.02808 676 359 217 100
96 It’s my way of saying I’m not just another “suit.” 1.6161 0.03091 547 288 181 78
97 Why don't you just get your vaccine already? 1.6149 0.03007 644 359 174 111
98 Yes, this is the complaint desk. 1.6144 0.02927 625 343 186 96
99 I'm going to need you to move to queen's bishop 3 by close of business. 1.6142 0.02976 635 351 180 104
100 Coffee, tea or mead? 1.6115 0.03195 520 278 166 76
101 Does this suit make me look middle-aged? 1.6110 0.02913 653 357 193 103
102 Sir, your WD-40 shipment is delayed. 1.6101 0.02883 613 322 208 83
103 Stop calling it a grail. I want my coffee mug back. 1.6092 0.02972 609 339 176 94
104 It’s a Queen Guinevere — she wants you to pick up a baguette and a bottle of Merlot on the way home… 1.6074 0.03073 540 285 182 73
105 I misspelled armoire on Ebay. 1.6060 0.03237 566 323 143 100
106 I seek the Holy Grail. Content management is my side gig. 1.6051 0.03097 585 325 166 94
107 Wanna call it a knight? 1.6041 0.03276 485 260 157 68
108 The roundtable starts in twenty. 1.6032 0.02973 567 299 194 74
109 Have you worked in a mail room before? 1.6025 0.03123 561 309 166 86
110 Dress for the job you want. Am I Right?! 1.6025 0.02917 644 355 190 99
111 I feel like you're a little defensive. 1.6021 0.02979 563 305 184 74
112 Where do you see yourself in 500 years? 1.5992 0.03377 519 299 129 91
113 Night shift, not Knight shift. 1.5959 0.03126 537 293 168 76
114 This isn’t what we meant when we asked for Sir Veillance. 1.5936 0.03186 566 324 148 94
115 Will Smith is here to see you. 1.5911 0.03728 450 281 81 88
116 So... it'll be a hostile takeover, then? 1.5911 0.03250 516 289 149 78
117 Could you get Office Depot on the line? I thought I ordered a round table. 1.5906 0.03127 552 308 162 82
118 Nice suit, is it vintage? 1.5887 0.03166 496 267 166 63
119 I don't need a knight in shining armor. I just need this month's sales report. 1.5884 0.03346 481 269 141 71
120 I'm dressing for the job I want. 1.5881 0.03321 471 259 147 65
121 I coughed ONCE, Marty...you're over-reacting... 1.5874 0.03363 492 280 135 77
122 No, I am not up for a one knight stand. 1.5871 0.03490 465 267 123 75
123 A man's cubicle is his castle. 1.5862 0.03441 435 239 137 59
124 Did you order the round table for the conference room? 1.5861 0.02988 563 306 184 73
125 It’s a great place to work, but the dress code is a little rigid. 1.5840 0.03200 500 275 158 67
126 I see you're having a bit of a problem retuning to work after Covid! 1.5839 0.03488 435 243 130 62
127 Forgive my impertinence, sir, but I think you may have a screw loose. 1.5823 0.03441 498 294 118 86
128 I notice you're not wearing a mask... 1.5817 0.03363 459 255 141 63
129 Yes, technically it is a suit. But as you see in our dress code, a tie is also required. 1.5814 0.03354 473 266 139 68
130 I was asked to report to the knight shift 1.5805 0.03167 472 252 166 54
131 Wrong mask, George. That plague ended in the 14th century... 1.5804 0.03335 479 270 140 69
132 It's your contract that 's supposed to be ironclad, actually. 1.5785 0.03447 427 244 124 59
133 Don’t laugh. It’s an original KN95. 1.5780 0.03265 519 299 140 80
134 As you can see, Doris, I’m impervious to your pointed barbs today. 1.5778 0.03296 469 260 147 62
135 Good day, good knight. 1.5767 0.03284 489 276 144 69
136 So, you’re saying I’m not approachable 1.5764 0.03270 458 250 152 56
137 Yes, I am the defense lawyer. Why do you ask? 1.5757 0.03456 436 245 131 60
138 Sir, I believe the vaccination would give you better protection. 1.5754 0.03447 471 274 123 74
139 Sure, you can bounce anything off me. 1.5742 0.03601 411 234 118 59
140 The moment I hit Middle Age, they stick me behind a desk. 1.5733 0.03476 450 259 124 67
141 Go home, Lance. The knight shift is over. 1.5727 0.03480 447 257 124 66
142 ...What makes you sure that it is MY horse parked in your spot 1.5721 0.03712 416 246 102 68
143 I'm not just an empty suit, you know. 1.5719 0.04020 334 192 93 49
144 No, no, look again. You slay the DRAGON at 1:30 and rescue the DAMSEL at 2:30. Anything else? 1.5717 0.03291 460 255 147 58
145 Yes, of course I'm ready for the four o'clock roundtable. 1.5684 0.03233 431 230 157 44
146 I've reviewed your resume. Just one question. Surely you joust? 1.5653 0.03618 421 247 110 64
147 Shouldn't you be in the mail room? 1.5651 0.03634 430 256 105 69
148 Are you free to work the knight shift? 1.5645 0.03241 496 284 144 68
149 Welcome back to the office, John. You know they dropped the mask mandate. 1.5640 0.03612 422 248 110 64
150 You don't get a desk, you'll be working at a round table. 1.5631 0.03533 412 235 122 55
151 Define a middle age crisis. 1.5623 0.03603 409 245 104 60
152 I give thee my fortnight's notice. 1.5593 0.03973 354 211 88 55
153 Your XI:XXX appointment is here sir. 1.5587 0.03792 383 227 98 58
154 The CEO said employees could choose to continue working remotely. I chose the 14th century. 1.5583 0.03842 360 210 99 51
155 Did ‘Sir Wondrous the Magnificent’ forget how to log into his computer again? 1.5571 0.03894 368 220 91 57
156 I only have one suit that still fits too. 1.5568 0.03855 361 212 97 52
157 How’s the knight shift going? 1.5565 0.03767 372 217 103 52
158 And I'm wearing my pajamas from the waist down. 1.5527 0.03660 389 227 109 53
159 If anyone calls tell them I'm in the can. 1.5502 0.04123 329 205 71 53
160 The shareholder’s meeting is not until next week. 1.5494 0.03719 344 194 111 39
161 Sorry, but I can't work knights. 1.5490 0.03914 337 197 95 45
162 You're good with working the Knight shift? 1.5489 0.03591 399 233 113 53
163 I'm assuming this is the complaint department? 1.5480 0.03957 354 214 86 54
164 This clearly states that I'm supposed to have a round table. 1.5480 0.03577 396 230 115 51
165 One Box Brillo pads, half case WD-40, and 50 Depends.. 1.5460 0.04026 337 203 84 50
166 Your massage therapist called. Do you prefer WD-40 or silicone? 1.5450 0.03744 378 225 100 53
167 Your employees say you are stuck in the Dark Ages and frankly I agree with them" 1.5449 0.04002 301 172 94 35
168 No YOU'RE being defensive. 1.5443 0.03983 327 193 90 44
169 I think it's time to let down your guard. 1.5437 0.04005 309 179 92 38
170 There’s a fair lady here to see you, Mr. Jenkins. 1.5430 0.03778 337 193 105 39
171 Why do you say I'm being defensive? 1.5421 0.03714 356 206 107 43
172 Somewhere out there, Angela, there's a knight wearing my pantsuit. 1.5420 0.03847 345 203 97 45
173 I don’t mind accounting, but pillaging will always be my first love. 1.5417 0.03705 360 209 107 44
174 Dress for the job you want Karen. 1.5404 0.03934 322 199 82 41
175 A simple mask would be sufficient 1.5400 0.03933 350 212 87 51
176 My son went through a heavy-metal phase too... 1.5399 0.04064 326 197 82 47
177 I see it is employee feedback day again. 1.5395 0.03837 354 211 95 48
178 No, I cannot bring you the finest meats and cheeses in all the land, but there are leftover bagels in the break room. 1.5392 0.03822 332 192 101 39
179 You really don't have to say "Good Knight" every time you leave the office. 1.5391 0.03531 384 221 119 44
180 Oh, hey Susan. I didn't recognize you without your mask. 1.5387 0.03997 310 181 91 38
181 Why yes, your one o'clock meeting room does have a round table, why do you ask? 1.5385 0.03592 364 219 100 45
182 Nice try, but HR says your mask isn't approved for our office. 1.5378 0.03900 344 206 91 47
183 Jousting? Why can't you just play golf like everyone else? 1.5374 0.03780 348 204 101 43
184 I’m afraid I’m going to have to give you the axe 1.5370 0.03989 324 201 76 47
185 I don't do Times New Roman 1.5366 0.03816 369 224 92 53
186 Masks have been optional for three weeks now. 1.5363 0.03802 317 180 104 33
187 I am afraid you may have misunderstood when you were hired for the night shift. 1.5362 0.03849 345 205 95 45
188 Well, while you are certainly more than qualified to head our IT department, there’s one last question I always like to ask: At the battle of Hastings in 1066, what might you have done differently were you in command of the English forces, hmm?” 1.5335 0.03822 343 203 97 43
189 I'm having a middle age crisis. 1.5308 0.03817 341 202 97 42
190 This isn’t where I thought I’d be at Middle Age 1.5292 0.04123 308 187 79 42
191 I’m sorry, ut what we’re really looking for is a renaissance man. 1.5285 0.04093 316 193 79 44
192 Unapproachable? Why would you think that? 1.5278 0.04171 288 172 80 36
193 You can drop your visor now, the mask mandate is over. 1.5275 0.03930 309 181 93 35
194 So . . . you're NOT in distress. Well, now I just feel silly. 1.5261 0.04325 287 177 69 41
195 Sooo, I guess you're ready to do the performance reviews. 1.5255 0.03721 333 196 101 36
196 of course you can still mask in the office. 1.5244 0.03896 307 179 95 33
197 I'm the knight watchman. I can't see the clock. Is my shift over? 1.5227 0.03737 331 193 103 35
198 My drawbridge is always open. 1.5222 0.04504 270 169 61 40
199 I've done a lot of crazy stuff for you over the years, but I draw the line at spraying WD-40 you know where. 1.5217 0.04131 322 202 72 48
200 Please don’t take it personally—my therapist says it’s just a defense mechanism. 1.5217 0.03763 345 206 98 41
201 I think you might be taking this Covid thing too seriously. 1.5217 0.03944 299 175 92 32
202 A one knight stand?? 1.5210 0.04366 286 179 65 42
203 Be forewarned ⁠— the boss is breathing fire. 1.5202 0.04302 321 209 57 55
204 It protects against the slings and arrows or outrageous fortune. 1.5201 0.04149 298 185 73 40
205 You can’t fire me. I have an iron-clad contract! 1.5193 0.04025 285 167 88 30
206 I’m counting on you to get me out of this. 1.5186 0.03789 322 189 99 34
207 I requested a round table. 1.5186 0.03574 349 212 99 38
208 Let’s circle back in a fortnight. 1.5184 0.03780 326 194 96 36
209 Once again, I am Harriet from data services Mr. Swanson, and not the Lady of the Lake. 1.5176 0.04304 284 176 69 39
210 Tough meeting today? 1.5174 0.04025 288 170 87 31
211 You should know that the metal detector at the entrance has been repaired. 1.5173 0.03844 346 212 89 45
212 Management asked me to bring you up to date. 1.5169 0.04253 296 185 69 42
213 My next move should be up, given that my last two moves were lateral. 1.5162 0.04252 308 196 65 47
214 It’s just a siege, not a hostile takeover. 1.5147 0.04032 307 187 82 38
215 That same dragon is here to see you, but it won't say what it's about. 1.5140 0.04046 286 170 85 31
216 I am expecting Will Smith. 1.5133 0.04947 226 144 48 34
217 I think you misunderstood. This is the NIGHT shift. 1.5127 0.03996 316 194 82 40
218 I freelance. 1.5110 0.04358 272 169 67 36
219 The window washer says he'll polish you for a slight additional fee. 1.5105 0.05944 143 88 37 18
220 Is that an N-95 mask? 1.5100 0.04156 300 187 73 40
221 It's casual Friday. You don't have to wear a suit. 1.5096 0.04227 261 156 77 28
222 Can you close the drawbridge on your way out? 1.5092 0.04654 218 131 63 24
223 I think you should just drop this whole crusade. 1.5086 0.04055 291 176 82 33
224 This is not what I pictured at all when you told me you were going to night School.” 1.5085 0.04265 295 187 66 42
225 So sorry, I left my mask at home. 1.5078 0.03918 319 195 86 38
226 So how long have you been working knight shift? 1.5064 0.03958 312 191 84 37
227 Catch me up on this account - I’m a bit rusty. 1.5054 0.04152 279 170 77 32
228 First day back in the office? 1.5053 0.04109 283 172 79 32
229 Flip your lid when you talk sir. 1.5050 0.04252 301 193 64 44
230 Jim,I think you misunderstood the term “night shift”. 1.5049 0.04209 305 195 66 44
231 Sir, your employees feel you don't see or hear them. 1.5035 0.04174 288 179 73 36
232 What horse in the parking garage? 1.5019 0.04346 257 158 69 30
233 You're jousting with HR at eleven. 1.5000 0.04295 272 170 68 34
234 Sorry, Bob. I meant that an armoire would look good in the office. 1.5000 0.04246 268 165 72 31
235 N95 Masks are more effective. 1.5000 0.04179 256 172 53 31
236 Your Quest for a new stapler has been approved. 1.4985 0.03985 325 206 76 43
237 Will Smith has cancelled his appointment. 1.4983 0.04403 299 199 51 49
238 Sorry, I mean, doth though havest a staple-taker-outer my liege? 1.4983 0.04025 291 180 78 33
239 I don't believe it! I've just been canned. 1.4981 0.04238 263 161 73 29
240 I thought I’d catch up on some paperwork before standing motionless in the lobby for 12 hours. 1.4981 0.04203 257 155 76 26
241 They wanted a campaign, I’ll give them a crusade. 1.4979 0.04637 233 146 58 29
242 I don't know how you walk in those heels. 1.4977 0.04783 221 139 54 28
243 How long have you been here? 1.4963 0.04414 270 173 60 37
244 We’ve exceeded our WD-40 budget already. 1.4961 0.04192 258 156 76 26
245 I see you are all set for the shareholder meeting. 1.4946 0.03896 279 176 77 26
246 Sir, it's the "night" shift 1.4943 0.04262 261 161 71 29
247 A raise? You must be our new jester. 1.4941 0.04640 253 165 51 37
248 Sir? Perhaps you misunderstood the memo regarding a roundtable meeting? 1.4940 0.04339 249 153 69 27
249 It's only a matter of time before Medieval Monday is more popular that Casual Friday. 1.4939 0.04156 245 145 79 21
250 No, I don't know anything about those charges from the Renaissance Fair. 1.4938 0.04417 243 150 66 27
251 There have been complaints about the clattering, sir. 1.4937 0.04392 239 146 68 25
252 I forgot it was Casual Friday. 1.4936 0.04364 235 142 70 23
253 Not what I meant by 'working nights.' 1.4932 0.03917 296 187 76 33
254 Have you done any freelance work? 1.4932 0.03995 294 181 81 32
255 I'll bring this up at the next round table. 1.4932 0.04102 292 183 74 35
256 I specifically said to order the ROUND table. 1.4931 0.04805 217 137 53 27
257 I wasn't referring to your outfit; I said you needed to show some mettle in the meeting last week. 1.4930 0.04918 213 136 49 28
258 HR says it contributes to a hostile workplace 1.4921 0.04239 254 155 73 26
259 Why is it so difficult to procur a round table for conference room A? 1.4907 0.03820 269 160 88 21
260 .. that’s when I realized that you guys don't dress up for Halloween at this branch 1.4906 0.04314 265 167 66 32
261 I'm sorry, but that is not N95 mask compliant. 1.4885 0.04203 260 160 73 27
262 Does the audit really go that far back? 1.4878 0.04822 205 128 54 23
263 Management says no moat. 1.4875 0.04496 240 151 61 28
264 Defensive? What makes you think I'm feeling defensive? 1.4873 0.04473 236 147 63 26
265 Should I get the mail? 1.4873 0.03936 275 179 68 28
266 There's been some rumblings among the staff that you have a medieval approach to management. 1.4866 0.04191 261 161 73 27
267 At least they can't tell whether you're black or white. 1.4861 0.04493 251 161 58 32
268 How are you with Personnel Protective Equipment? 1.4861 0.04275 251 155 70 26
269 Nothing's "happened" to chivalry, Ida. If the dragon's harassing you, report him to HR. 1.4851 0.04646 235 151 54 30
270 Okay, I’m ready for that feedback now 1.4851 0.04278 268 170 66 32
271 Isn’t it easier to just get the booster? 1.4846 0.04930 227 151 42 34
272 Tell them I can't join the meeting right now because I'm a little rusty. 1.4845 0.04805 194 119 56 19
273 Sorry to bother you Frank, but you parked your dragon in a compact spot 1.4831 0.04391 236 146 66 24
274 A man's cubicle is his castle, I always say, Miss Barstow. 1.4825 0.04372 228 144 61 23
275 I was told Will Smith was coming for an interview. 1.4821 0.04859 224 147 46 31
276 Get me two aspirin and see if you can track down where I was last night. 1.4821 0.05178 224 155 30 39
277 The staff thinks you’re prepping for some sort of corporate crusade. 1.4805 0.04357 256 163 63 30
278 Many of us are still working knights. 1.4800 0.04398 250 161 59 30
279 It’s just a routine audit. No reason to get defensive. 1.4798 0.04303 223 134 71 18
280 I don't care if you are dressed as a knight I still won't call you "Sir". 1.4784 0.04487 232 146 61 25
281 Do you pay time and a half for the knight shift 1.4775 0.04591 222 140 58 24
282 Gayle, this report is missing the middle pages. 1.4774 0.04640 243 160 50 33
283 …and just for a while, I WAS the King of the castle” 1.4769 0.04591 216 135 59 22
284 I see you've listed Richard II as a reference--- very impressive. 1.4769 0.04399 216 131 67 18
285 Please let Will Smith know I’m ready for our appointment. 1.4766 0.05021 235 163 32 40
286 We have a different understanding of Chain mail 1.4757 0.04729 185 112 58 15
287 That's not a KN95 mask. 1.4756 0.04589 225 143 57 25
288 You don’t have to throw down your gauntlet every time you don’t want to go to a meeting. 1.4755 0.04212 265 168 68 29
289 That is the third reprimand from HR about you referring to the staff as peasants. 1.4751 0.04929 181 112 52 17
290 Sorry I am so slow, I am a bit rusty. 1.4750 0.04376 240 151 64 25
291 Is it just me or do you seem a little defensive today? 1.4749 0.04248 259 164 67 28
292 You know my moat is always open.... 1.4740 0.05349 173 112 40 21
293 I can’t understand why you always expect me to come to your rescue 1.4739 0.04222 249 160 63 26
294 What do you mean hostile work environment? I was just being chivalrous. 1.4737 0.04628 228 147 54 27
295 The round table for the conference room has been delivered. 1.4737 0.04097 266 166 74 26
296 Sales are catapulting. 1.4728 0.04349 239 150 65 24
297 Betty, you wouldn't happen to have a can opener on you, would you? 1.4727 0.04665 220 141 54 25
298 Yes, you are my knight in shining armor, but you’re still 2 weeks late on these time sheets. 1.4723 0.04361 235 147 65 23
299 I thought the ad said, "knights and weekends." 1.4720 0.04247 250 157 68 25
300 I see the mail already came. 1.4717 0.04700 212 135 54 23
301 I'm confused, I thought you said "working nights." 1.4717 0.03856 265 163 81 21
302 OK, now I'm ready to see Will Smith. 1.4714 0.04642 227 147 53 27
303 Despite your best efforts, sir, no one else is using chain mail. We use e-mail. 1.4711 0.04427 242 155 60 27
304 My experience has been that the pen is not terribly mighty. 1.4709 0.04894 189 119 51 19
305 I'm tired of your workplace crusades, Carl. 1.4696 0.05287 181 119 39 23
306 We're only accepting applications for the knight shift. 1.4695 0.04684 213 136 54 23
307 Let me clarify what “night shift” means. 1.4692 0.04619 211 133 57 21
308 I’ve looked this over thoroughly and it seems iron clad” 1.4688 0.04558 224 143 57 24
309 Well, if you worked in H.R., you'd wear one too." 1.4686 0.04832 207 134 49 24
310 They put me on the knight shift. 1.4684 0.04535 237 154 55 28
311 Chivalry has its place, Miss Tomkins, but medieval gets results. 1.4680 0.04852 203 133 46 24
312 I see you made your way up from the mail room. 1.4672 0.04550 244 161 52 31
313 I’m sorry, but we won’t be hiring again until the Renaissance 1.4670 0.04909 197 127 48 22
314 That's not what we meant by working the night shift. 1.4667 0.04454 225 142 61 22
315 Meeting with the boss today? 1.4664 0.04528 223 142 58 23
316 In case the corporate take over turns hostile? 1.4663 0.04667 208 132 55 21
317 Do you mean futile or feudal, or both? 1.4663 0.05111 178 114 45 19
318 Sorry, we’re looking for someone more… middle aged. 1.4652 0.04988 187 120 47 20
319 I know the dress code is pretty vague about "suits," but this isn't what we had in mind. 1.4649 0.04411 228 144 62 22
320 I'm still not completely comfortable being back in the office. 1.4646 0.04343 254 165 60 29
321 No, Sir, 'free lance' just means he's not on our staff. 1.4644 0.04346 239 154 60 25
322 Guarded? What makes you say that? 1.4641 0.04843 209 137 47 25
323 You'll have to pardon my appearance, I just got off the knight shift. 1.4638 0.04926 207 137 44 26
324 Howst may I help thee? 1.4637 0.05150 179 116 43 20
325 No, I said the "night" shift. 1.4636 0.04387 220 137 64 19
326 I feel completely protected from Covid. But if it rains, I’m screwed 1.4632 0.04455 231 148 59 24
327 No, you may not exchange your desk for a Round Table! 1.4632 0.04929 190 122 48 20
328 My advice to you as a new employee is never let your guard down. 1.4631 0.04592 203 127 58 18
329 I had to call Uber. Your horse ran off. 1.4631 0.04592 203 136 48 19
330 Well, it was either this or white satin. 1.4623 0.04838 212 140 46 26
331 HR wants to see you again. Someone complained about a dragon in their parking space. 1.4622 0.04408 225 142 62 21
332 Seymour, we share the same office. Why do I have to keep calling you sir? 1.4612 0.04980 219 150 37 32
333 You can call me "Sir" But I identify as they/them 1.4611 0.05006 180 121 39 20
334 I’ve been asked to let you know that the PPE requirements have been relaxed substantially. 1.4608 0.04468 204 126 62 16
335 Can you explain the gap between your years in the Crusades and your time at the Round Table? 1.4602 0.04303 226 150 55 21
336 Night, sir 1.4602 0.04696 226 150 48 28
337 I wanted one in SHINING armor. 1.4599 0.05043 187 122 44 21
338 Let's circle back on this, and then surround and pillage. 1.4596 0.04940 198 130 45 23
339 I’m assuming this is the day you fire Will Smith. 1.4596 0.05042 198 132 41 25
340 HR wants to talk to you about the meaning of "business casual". 1.4589 0.04680 207 133 53 21
341 Well, I prefer to communicate via Chain Mail. 1.4588 0.04298 279 188 54 37
342 The case didn't settle, so we opted for trial by combat. 1.4585 0.04814 205 134 48 23
343 I got your memo: Knight to Rook 1 1.4585 0.04764 205 133 50 22
344 An employee has filed a report against your middle ageism. 1.4581 0.04898 203 134 45 24
345 Well it makes a nice change from Hawaiian shirt Friday. 1.4578 0.04953 166 103 50 13
346 Why, Mrs. Frobish? Because chivalry isn't dead. 1.4573 0.04545 199 124 59 16
347 It's a long day for a knight. 1.4567 0.04562 208 132 57 19
348 I’m here for the knight-shift. 1.4567 0.04761 208 136 49 23
349 Uh Bob, this contract clearly states Midlevel, not Medieval manager... 1.4565 0.05102 184 121 42 21
350 When I told the employment agency that we were looking for a ‘knight in shining armor’, I wasn’t speaking literally 1.4564 0.04833 195 126 49 20
351 How am I supposed to work at a square table? 1.4563 0.04844 206 136 46 24
352 First day back from Isolation? 1.4560 0.04758 193 123 52 18
353 Which variant is that for? 1.4551 0.05043 178 115 45 18
354 That's not what I meant by "more diversity at the office". 1.4551 0.05168 178 117 41 20
355 It worked against the plague. 1.4545 0.04493 231 151 55 25
356 It's KN-1395. 1.4545 0.05400 165 109 37 19
357 No, ma'am. I'm the knight shift. 1.4541 0.04437 229 148 58 23
358 You’re telling me I just got canned? 1.4532 0.04744 203 132 50 21
359 It's good, but is it ironclad? 1.4529 0.05147 170 110 43 17
360 I guess "Armani" got auto-corrected to "armor." And I just didn't want to make a fuss. 1.4524 0.04628 210 136 53 21
361 I'm prepared for any office backstabbing. 1.4523 0.04707 199 128 52 19
362 I have a few questions about the computer. 1.4522 0.05304 157 101 41 15
363 The King requests the honor of your budget on his desk by noon today 1.4520 0.05249 177 118 38 21
364 The company feels you've taken our mask policy a bit too far 1.4516 0.04750 217 145 46 26
365 Will Smith just arrived 1.4516 0.05059 186 123 42 21
366 We have an Old School management style here. 1.4516 0.04943 186 121 46 19
367 I'm still not going to call you Sir. 1.4514 0.05104 175 114 43 18
368 I dressed for the job I want. 1.4513 0.04491 195 124 56 15
369 Welcome to the knight shift. 1.4511 0.04922 184 119 47 18
370 I hate paper cuts. 1.4510 0.04571 204 130 56 18
371 At least they don't know I'm a woman. 1.4508 0.04755 193 124 51 18
372 You’ll have to wear it if you work with me on the knight shift. 1.4508 0.04698 193 123 53 17
373 My pronouns are thy and ye. 1.4507 0.04770 213 142 46 25
374 Sir, the staff are wondering if you need a can opener or a therapist? 1.4503 0.05614 151 102 31 18
375 the cleaners called they found the shield. 1.4497 0.04998 189 125 43 21
376 NONE SHALL PASS!!! but I can reschedule you for next week. 1.4497 0.05030 169 108 46 15
377 Yes, I'm manger of the complaint department. 1.4490 0.04757 196 127 50 19
378 This is ironclad. 1.4489 0.04752 176 110 53 13
379 Chivalry is dead so I took your comfy chair. 1.4487 0.05554 156 104 34 18
380 I am happy to report the threat of a hostile takeover is over, sir. 1.4486 0.04612 214 140 52 22
381 Let's just say you need a pretty thick skin around here. 1.4479 0.05305 163 107 39 17
382 I can see why they call you Lance 1.4478 0.04671 201 130 52 19
383 I can confirm what you're looking at here has been forged. 1.4478 0.04453 201 126 60 15
384 I understand you started out in the mail room. 1.4477 0.05669 172 121 25 26
385 You think you're the only one holding down the fort? 1.4474 0.04864 190 124 47 19
386 Guinevere called. She wants you to pick up some lox and bagels on your way home. 1.4474 0.04630 190 120 55 15
387 Masks are no longer required. 1.4472 0.04758 199 130 49 20
388 And they said I’d never meet my knight in shining armor at the office. 1.4469 0.04476 226 148 55 23
389 Although armor is not required for working in audit, it is suggested. 1.4467 0.04274 244 159 61 24
390 No, I don't want to see your sword! 1.4451 0.04896 182 118 47 17
391 They are transferring me to the complaint department. 1.4451 0.04957 182 119 45 18
392 Just move the joust to 4 o'clock. 1.4439 0.04444 205 130 59 16
393 I don't want to work on the knight shift! 1.4434 0.04493 212 137 56 19
394 Yes, as a matter of fact I do have a meeting with the Board of Directors today, how did you know? 1.4433 0.04733 194 126 50 18
395 Your four o'clock Joust has cancelled. 1.4433 0.04619 194 124 54 16
396 I think you misunderstood me when I told you I'm a night person. 1.4429 0.04524 210 136 55 19
397 I see you're ready for your interview at the Oscars 1.4420 0.04502 224 148 53 23
398 I get comp time for working the knight shift 1.4396 0.04954 182 120 44 18
399 And on Casual Fridays I wear a t-shirt and jeans underneath. 1.4396 0.05075 182 122 40 20
400 I'm afraid your performance review incorrectly spelled mettle. 1.4393 0.05007 173 113 44 16
401 We said you needed thicker skin. But this is just silly. 1.4390 0.04548 205 133 54 18
402 I don't think that will protect you against a cyber attack 1.4383 0.05176 162 106 41 15
403 I see on your resume that you searched for the Holy Grail, but never completed your dissertation. 1.4382 0.05219 178 121 36 21
404 Well,this explains the valiant steed in the first floor lobby 1.4379 0.05091 169 111 42 16
405 You're way over budget on PPE. 1.4378 0.04697 217 147 45 25
406 Sorry if I seem defensive. I get rattled easily. 1.4375 0.05222 160 107 37 16
407 We ran out of masks. 1.4375 0.04945 176 124 32 20
408 I've been promoted to medieval management. 1.4375 0.05297 160 106 38 16
409 Tell me about your volunteer work - it says “Knights of Columbus” here… 1.4371 0.05135 167 110 41 16
410 In the Human Resources Department, you either develop a thick skin or dress accordingly. 1.4368 0.04985 174 114 44 16
411 The morning joust is off and the roundtable is now on Zoom. 1.4363 0.04769 204 137 45 22
412 I always just thought it was a Zoom filter… 1.4362 0.05122 188 129 36 23
413 Pam, I think we could all agree those hoop earrings are a little tacky. 1.4360 0.05354 172 118 33 21
414 I was wrong. It seems the pen IS mightier. 1.4358 0.04820 179 116 48 15
415 What's wrong with my horse and castle expenses? 1.4356 0.04926 163 108 41 14
416 They didn't tell you the knight shift doesn't start until 10pm? 1.4356 0.04303 225 152 53 20
417 What makes you think our HR practices are medieval? 1.4346 0.04664 191 124 51 16
418 We’re just requesting a face mask, the armor is optional. 1.4343 0.04874 198 134 42 22
419 I hope you made this brief ironclad. 1.4343 0.04433 198 126 58 14
420 I guess you didn't understand what it meant when we assigned you to the night shift. 1.4343 0.04603 198 129 52 17
421 I don't think this is what they meant by PPE. 1.4341 0.04800 205 139 43 23
422 Can't you wear SPF 40 like regular people? 1.4341 0.04762 182 118 49 15
423 Larry told you I’m an adjuster? Dear lady, I am a jouster. 1.4335 0.05328 173 119 33 21
424 The mask mandate has been lifted and I'd love to know who you are. 1.4332 0.04672 187 121 51 15
425 I’m ready for my 3pm with Mr. Pinkett Smith 1.4321 0.05389 162 110 34 18
426 I seem to recall the tables at my last job being a bit... rounder. 1.4320 0.04579 206 136 51 19
427 I was told that knight school expenses are reimbursable. 1.4318 0.06196 132 92 23 17
428 Just add in 'Storming The Castle', and we're good. 1.4314 0.05227 153 100 40 13
429 I had to provide my own PPE 1.4314 0.04714 204 137 46 21
430 This meeting doesn't need to be combative 1.4311 0.04915 167 108 46 13
431 Any experience in hostile takeovers? 1.4311 0.05269 167 113 36 18
432 It’s been a hard days knight. 1.4308 0.04927 195 133 40 22
433 For your next quest, the copier is jammed again. 1.4304 0.05415 158 107 34 17
434 We’re launching a hostile takeover of White Castle. 1.4303 0.05520 165 115 29 21
435 Send in the dragons Abby 1.4294 0.05433 163 112 32 19
436 Mr. Rock, are you ready to see Will Smith, now? 1.4286 0.05341 175 122 31 22
437 No, just filling in today... I usually work the Knight shift. 1.4286 0.05677 133 90 30 13
438 It's company policy. ACME ARMOR human resources and marketing employees must wear the uniform. The helmet is optional. If you get the job, you will be measured and fitted. Your armor is provided at no cost, and it will be kept in your office. 1.4259 0.05166 162 108 39 15
439 Sorry, no, we're not buying you a round table. 1.4258 0.04527 209 139 51 19
440 I meant to brace yourself emotionally, Steven. You’re being fired. 1.4258 0.05009 155 100 44 11
441 It will be a relief to remove it after I'm done with the layoffs. 1.4251 0.04760 167 107 49 11
442 Frankly, you are too tin skinned. 1.4248 0.05302 153 102 37 14
443 ‘He embarrassed me in front of the team, Linda. So let’s see if the pen is indeed mightier than the sword!’ 1.4247 0.05397 146 97 36 13
444 Call down and have my horse ready. 1.4242 0.05097 165 110 40 15
445 The N95 just not enough for you? 1.4241 0.04830 191 131 40 20
446 I always work the knight shift. 1.4239 0.05197 184 129 32 23
447 I work better on a round table. 1.4236 0.04236 203 129 62 12
448 Why would I know anything about a lance going through the copier? 1.4233 0.04866 189 128 42 19
449 And you're willing to work knight shifts? 1.4227 0.04365 194 130 49 15
450 Another siege that could have been an email. 1.4222 0.04790 180 119 46 15
451 So, is Will Smith your next client? 1.4219 0.04866 192 133 38 21
452 HR thinks you're not really Wilson. 1.4217 0.05000 166 110 42 14
453 In the job description, I thought 'knight shift position' was an autocorrect error. 1.4211 0.05324 152 102 36 14
454 I have an iron deficiency 1.4207 0.04968 164 108 43 13
455 Jason, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but around here the only jousting we do is verbal. 1.4200 0.05030 150 97 43 10
456 Nothing else fits me anymore. 1.4200 0.05374 150 101 35 14
457 Do you need more oil? 1.4194 0.05248 155 104 37 14
458 So that's a ham on rye with mustard and a can of WD 40 1.4178 0.05477 146 99 33 14
459 Ready to slay some dragons, eh, George? 1.4176 0.05255 170 118 33 19
460 I know we don't have a dress code any longer, but it's raining today and you could rust. 1.4176 0.04618 182 119 50 13
461 And you're comfortable working knights? 1.4171 0.04789 199 137 41 21
462 A raise? Surely you joust. 1.4167 0.04975 180 123 39 18
463 I'm preparing for a hostile takeover. 1.4167 0.05377 156 107 33 16
464 Why do you think I'm being unnecessarily defensive? 1.4161 0.05328 161 111 33 17
465 Working two jobs is the only way I can keep the castle 1.4150 0.04499 200 146 36 18
466 Would you like to know how I broke through the glass ceiling? 1.4145 0.05479 152 105 31 16
467 No Bob, this isn't what I meant when I complained that chivalry was dead. 1.4140 0.05195 157 106 37 14
468 More important than being a mail clerk, can you joust? 1.4121 0.04862 165 109 44 12
469 What, this old thing? 1.4118 0.05897 119 80 29 10
470 I accept all forms of payment including cash, credit cards and conquered lands. 1.4118 0.05207 153 103 37 13
471 Good resume, but we are looking for a knight in shining armor. 1.4113 0.05611 141 97 30 14
472 Have you thought of just getting vaccinated? 1.4113 0.05840 124 84 29 11
473 You try working the claims rejection desk for a few weeks and we'll see what your wearing. 1.4111 0.04843 180 122 42 16
474 They are transferring me to our Camelot office? Why?” 1.4111 0.05093 180 126 34 20
475 Inside, I’m a softie. 1.4110 0.05886 146 105 22 19
476 No I’m sorry I don’t have any oil on me. 1.4110 0.04220 219 145 58 16
477 You could ditch that armor, you know, if you'd just stop using Reply All all the time. 1.4103 0.04689 195 133 44 18
478 I’m a freelancer. 1.4101 0.04881 178 121 41 16
479 My mistake, I thought the position was for the night shift. 1.4101 0.05009 178 123 37 18
480 Just another friendly reminder that masks aren’t required in the office… but do whatever makes you feel comfortable. 1.4099 0.05173 161 110 36 15
481 Do you prefer 'man in a can' or 'mite in shining armor'? 1.4096 0.05273 166 116 32 18
482 I’m sorry Sir, but in 2022 it’s considered harassment to require me to work knights. 1.4094 0.05130 149 99 39 11
483 I am sorry Sir, that does not meet our masking requirements. 1.4094 0.05224 171 120 32 19
484 Yes, I went to knight school. 1.4091 0.05177 176 124 32 20
485 The ad should have read: must be willing to work nights. 1.4091 0.04637 198 135 45 18
486 It sounds like you are saying "oil can". 1.4091 0.05886 132 92 26 14
487 The stables just called. It seems your horse's warranty has expired. 1.4091 0.05014 154 102 41 11
488 It's vintage. 1.4091 0.04928 154 101 43 10
489 Mr. Stevens called from the hospital, he said verbal jousting only from now on. 1.4091 0.05479 132 88 34 10
490 You’ll find me hard to really get to know. 1.4091 0.05479 132 88 34 10
491 I oversee all mergers and inquisitions. 1.4085 0.04801 164 108 45 11
492 The front office called. You're wanted at the round table. 1.4085 0.05104 164 112 37 15
493 Just get the booster. 1.4085 0.05030 164 111 39 14
494 I’m jousting for a promotion. 1.4078 0.04987 179 124 37 18
495 Yes, the expense for the cod piece is absolutely necessary 1.4076 0.05419 157 110 30 17
496 Sir, your horse is parked in the red zone. 1.4074 0.04919 162 108 42 12
497 I'm ready to go over your performance review. 1.4074 0.05148 162 111 36 15
498 From Middle Ages to middle management. 1.4074 0.05507 162 116 26 20
499 Sorry Ms. Brown, you're not eligible to receive your suit until you've been here six months. 1.4071 0.05450 140 95 33 12
500 Different century. Same message. 1.4070 0.04727 199 138 41 20
501 Catherine, reserve the Round Table Room for our meeting tomorrow. 1.4070 0.04335 199 131 55 13
502 The worst part about returning to the office is getting through security. 1.4067 0.05275 150 102 35 13
503 Describe a difficult situation and how you handled it. 1.4065 0.06091 123 86 24 13
504 I have a union meeting this morning and a shareholder meeting this afternoon, why do you ask? 1.4062 0.05116 160 109 37 14
505 What? It’s laundry day. 1.4056 0.05547 143 99 30 14
506 I preferred the Round Table but the others all work from home now, so… 1.4051 0.05082 158 107 38 13
507 If you could find the Holy Grail, you can find 10 percent to cut from your budget. 1.4045 0.04940 178 125 35 18
508 Coffee and a straw? 1.4044 0.05657 136 94 29 13
509 I’m just the knight clerk 1.4041 0.05196 146 98 37 11
510 I’m sorry but I can no longer work the knight shift 1.4038 0.05363 156 109 31 16
511 Now you want a round desk. We should have just let you work from home. 1.4038 0.05127 156 106 37 13
512 Corporate is sending you on a quest. Do you accept? 1.4026 0.05334 154 107 32 15
513 HR wants to see you. 1.4024 0.04948 164 111 40 13
514 ...and I am also going to need a trebuchet. 1.4016 0.05943 127 89 25 13
515 Temp or Templar? 1.4015 0.05718 137 96 27 14
516 The real question is... where is your armor? 1.4014 0.05388 142 97 33 12
517 I don’t know where these rumors of a hostile takeover are coming from, why do you ask? 1.4014 0.05168 147 99 37 11
518 Don't worry I'm also wearing an N95 mask. 1.4014 0.05168 147 99 37 11
519 We still social distance here, two squares forward and one to the side. 1.4000 0.04766 180 123 42 15
520 Frank, it's casual Friday. Not casualty Friday. 1.4000 0.04980 155 104 40 11
521 Hello. I have a 3 o'clock appointment with King Arthur. 1.4000 0.04848 165 111 42 12
522 Gary, I told you you’d be working the NIGHT shift. 1.4000 0.05441 140 96 32 12
523 Yes, jousting is on my expense report. It was a short-lived team building exercise. 1.4000 0.06354 110 77 22 11
524 I'm still not calling you Sir 1.4000 0.05737 130 90 28 12
525 Accounting says the square table in the boardroom is perfectly fine. 1.4000 0.04932 145 95 42 8
526 I hate the Knight shift. 1.3988 0.05076 168 117 35 16
527 Lloyd, HR respectfully suggests you just get vaccinated. 1.3988 0.05040 163 112 37 14
528 I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I really love your outfit! 1.3988 0.05040 163 114 34 15
529 It's a memo explaining the difference between a middle manager and a medieval manager. 1.3987 0.04995 158 107 39 12
530 So, I see you filed a complaint about unwanted touching.... 1.3975 0.05380 161 115 28 18
531 It was a hostile takeover 1.3974 0.04785 156 103 44 9
532 The requisition for a round table shouldn’t be a problem, it’s the catapult that may be harder to explain. 1.3974 0.05405 151 106 30 15
533 It’s just a paper cut Lance. 1.3973 0.05366 146 101 32 13
534 Great week Marge, but in this office we say "my liege". 1.3973 0.05453 146 102 30 14
535 I'm told that this armor will help me when I make it to the glass ceiling. 1.3972 0.05593 141 99 28 14
536 It says here you can work knights? 1.3971 0.04397 209 143 49 17
537 As a matter if fact I AM looking for a night job. 1.3969 0.05598 131 90 30 11
538 Are you available to work knights? 1.3966 0.06229 116 82 22 12
539 My other suit is at the cleaners 1.3964 0.06041 111 76 26 9
540 I’m guessing you’re going for the ‘renaissance man’ vibe. 1.3964 0.05620 111 73 32 6
541 Try to fit in the marketing meeting after my two o'clock siege. 1.3961 0.05164 154 106 35 13
542 It's an interesting strategy. But remember, my moves are somewhat limited. 1.3955 0.05299 134 90 35 9
543 I think work from home lasted a little too long. 1.3955 0.05607 134 93 29 12
544 I’m sorry, I don’t have time. There’s a dragon in accounting breathing down my neck. 1.3953 0.05438 129 87 33 9
545 I hate performance review time. 1.3952 0.04950 167 115 38 14
546 So anytime you do an IRS audit of a mob member this is what you'll wear. 1.3952 0.05819 124 86 27 11
547 I hear you've been transferred to the Knight Shift. 1.3949 0.05250 157 113 29 15
548 I said I needed a new armoire 1.3949 0.05012 157 107 38 12
549 And finally, how do you feel about working knights? 1.3949 0.04258 195 129 55 11
550 Defensive, inflexible, and we don't see eye to eye. 1.3947 0.06182 114 80 23 11
551 your move. 1.3945 0.06388 109 77 21 11
552 the king is on line 1 1.3942 0.05319 137 93 34 10
553 I didn't know we had a knight shift. 1.3938 0.05101 160 111 35 14
554 I'm sorry to say that jousting has been removed from the meeting agenda. 1.3935 0.05055 155 106 37 12
555 So you are still working the knight shift? 1.3935 0.05137 155 107 35 13
556 Your horse was in my space again. 1.3932 0.06064 117 82 24 11
557 You may be taking the "gatekeeper" part of your job description a little too literally. 1.3932 0.05942 117 81 26 10
558 One suggestion Galahad— change 'pillaging and looting' to 'standard business practices'. 1.3931 0.05475 145 102 29 14
559 You must be the fella to see for a quote on aluminum siding" 1.3929 0.05335 140 96 33 11
560 I am sorry mam,we only have openings for the knight shift. 1.3923 0.04738 181 125 41 15
561 How many times do I have to tell you,Craig? The armor is not protecting you from cyber attacks. You need to stop clicking on those links. 1.3919 0.05131 148 104 33 11
562 Guinevere, this contract is iron clad! 1.3919 0.05131 148 101 36 11
563 Any experience getting a sword out of a stone? 1.3913 0.06261 115 82 21 12
564 I think you're confused about working nights. 1.3913 0.04682 184 127 42 15
565 I’m sorry I’m late. The moat slowed me down. 1.3910 0.05211 133 89 36 8
566 Don’t worry, I’m wearing an N95 mask. 1.3902 0.04856 164 112 40 12
567 Yes, this is the complaint department. 1.3895 0.04840 172 119 39 14
568 Don’t ask me how I’ll drink it, just get me a coffee. 1.3894 0.06584 113 83 16 14
569 Everything else was at the drycleaner's. 1.3884 0.05794 121 84 27 10
570 I misread the dress code memo. 1.3882 0.04944 152 103 39 10
571 Just pour it in the spout. 1.3881 0.05495 134 93 30 11
572 Who cares about your computer skills. How are you with a brillo pad? 1.3879 0.04676 165 111 44 10
573 It is a list of things I ‘d liked changed, starting with the shape of this table. 1.3875 0.05093 160 112 34 14
574 I’m jousting after work today. 1.3873 0.05274 142 98 33 11
575 What do you mean antiquated? Windows XP works doesn't it? 1.3871 0.05806 124 87 26 11
576 Remember, Bill, it's called an acquisition, not a "siege". 1.3867 0.05333 150 106 30 14
577 Holdeth my calls. 1.3866 0.05980 119 84 24 11
578 All this mail must be wearing you out Sir 1.3865 0.04713 163 116 34 13
579 Did you not say we were jousting for this promotion? 1.3860 0.05361 114 75 34 5
580 I'm told you've been seeking new challenges. 1.3860 0.05779 114 78 28 8
581 My moat is always open. 1.3857 0.05514 140 99 28 13
582 When they said they wanted you to work the night shift, this is not what they meant. 1.3852 0.06098 122 88 21 13
583 You need to have a thick skin around here. 1.3851 0.04938 148 100 39 9
584 Sir, I hate to tell you this but your horse pooped in the hall again. 1.3851 0.05468 148 106 27 15
585 You heard me say we’d have to work knights and weekends… 1.3851 0.04831 161 115 34 12
586 I’m told you have some questions about our masking policy. 1.3851 0.04795 174 121 39 14
587 Well I don’t feel middle aged. 1.3846 0.05150 143 98 35 10
588 HR claims I was hired medieval, not mid-level. 1.3846 0.04821 169 117 39 13
589 When I said the manager was a dragon, I wasn’t being literal. 1.3846 0.05802 117 81 27 9
590 Just in case will smith stops by. 1.3846 0.05715 130 92 26 12
591 I usually work the Knight shift, which is why I have not been at the table... 1.3841 0.05073 164 119 29 16
592 Sir, your 'mail' arrived but I will need your help carrying it in. 1.3841 0.05135 151 105 34 12
593 The Knight shift already? I sure I lost track of time. 1.3836 0.05258 146 102 32 12
594 Preparing for my Oscar presentation,if you must know. 1.3835 0.05720 133 95 25 13
595 I think you should be more open to new ideas. 1.3835 0.05620 133 94 27 12
596 Take this purchase order and get me a case of WD40 ASAP . 1.3833 0.06170 120 87 20 13
597 Did you say a case of COVID or a case of WD-40 1.3833 0.05123 180 132 27 21
598 Union unrest, Margaret. 1.3833 0.05574 120 82 30 8
599 Looks like it's going to be an all-knighter 1.3831 0.05063 154 107 35 12
600 I just didn't feel a mask was good enough 1.3827 0.04964 162 113 36 13
601 And art thou chaste? 1.3826 0.06368 115 84 18 13
602 Casual Friday today, not combat Monday. 1.3819 0.05025 144 105 27 12
603 It's 5:30, good knight. 1.3817 0.04879 186 134 33 19
604 I'm his first line of defense. 1.3817 0.05249 131 89 34 8
605 But your resume says nothing about moat maintenance. 1.3813 0.04926 160 111 37 12
606 My cars in the shop. I had to take the subway. 1.3810 0.05840 126 90 24 12
607 We're looking for a candidate proficient in Excelsior. 1.3810 0.05730 126 89 26 11
608 This IS my knight job. 1.3806 0.05036 155 108 35 12
609 When I said your work should be bulletproof this isn't what I meant. 1.3805 0.06070 113 80 23 10
610 No, I never get defensive. 1.3804 0.05015 163 115 34 14
611 I called Staples and Office Depot -- nobody has a round one. 1.3803 0.05357 142 100 30 12
612 Yes, I am glad to be back in the office. You?" 1.3797 0.04968 158 110 36 12
613 I'm about to go pill my cat. 1.3790 0.05793 124 88 25 11
614 Oh yeah, I’ve got the best moat guy! 1.3788 0.05327 132 91 32 9
615 The impending takeover is expected to be hostile. 1.3786 0.05503 140 100 27 13
616 Do you know where they put the can opener 1.3778 0.05450 135 95 29 11
617 Don't worry, it's just until we get through this medieval period. 1.3778 0.05243 135 93 33 9
618 Sam from legal didn't hold the elevator for me. I hear you're the guy to talk to. 1.3776 0.06241 98 68 23 7
619 We take Covid -19 very serious around here! 1.3775 0.04481 151 99 47 5
620 We are looking for someone with a little more mettle. 1.3774 0.04694 159 108 42 9
621 Galahad can't just keep bringing back maidens and charging back the second rental horse. Get him up here! 1.3769 0.05702 130 93 25 12
622 Your horse just got towed, again. 1.3769 0.05806 130 94 23 13
623 Oh my, is it tax season already? 1.3767 0.05064 146 101 35 10
624 I’d expect this level of work from a squire, but not you. 1.3765 0.04717 162 111 41 10
625 Please call the parking attendant and have him bring me my horse. 1.3761 0.05498 109 73 31 5
626 HR would like to discuss your interviewing techniques, Mr. Hardesy. 1.3759 0.05807 133 97 22 14
627 Just because you are from human services doesn't mean you need to know if I consider myself male or female. 1.3758 0.04900 149 105 34 10
628 Isn’t this Armor Friday? 1.3750 0.05347 152 110 27 15
629 I'll see what I can do, but dragon-slaying requests are due at 4:00 pm sharp. 1.3750 0.05387 144 103 28 13
630 Are you jousting? 1.3750 0.06042 120 87 21 12
631 How are your sword skills?" 1.3750 0.05417 136 96 29 11
632 I was talking about emotional armor. 1.3750 0.04753 168 117 39 12
633 Your 9:00 quest is here. 1.3740 0.04887 131 89 36 6
634 It's Friday, would it kill you to wear a tunic? 1.3740 0.06043 123 90 20 13
635 And for what purpose have you requisitioned a can opener? 1.3740 0.05702 123 87 26 10
636 We need to talk about your last expense report. 1.3733 0.05054 150 105 34 11
637 I'm sick of people saying I'm defensive. 1.3732 0.04958 142 97 37 8
638 Yes, I did work the knight shift. What tipped you off? 1.3730 0.05826 126 91 23 12
639 Now this is what I call an iron-clad legal defense. 1.3729 0.05619 118 82 28 8
640 If Ron can wear sweatpants I can wear this. 1.3727 0.05899 110 77 25 8
641 Miss Brown, I see this is your third violation for not wearing the required personal protective equipment. 1.3727 0.04812 161 112 38 11
642 You looked better in white satin. 1.3724 0.05265 145 103 30 12
643 Casual Friday. 1.3723 0.05181 137 95 33 9
644 Lately your chivalry has fallen below our company's standards. 1.3717 0.05213 113 75 34 4
645 Research says face KN95's really work. 1.3712 0.05313 132 92 31 9
646 Yes, I’m from HR. And, no, that won’t protect you. 1.3711 0.04932 159 112 35 12
647 Sorry, we're hiring damsels and wenches. 1.3710 0.05891 124 90 22 12
648 I requested a round table for my office. 1.3710 0.05547 124 87 28 9
649 So, you're the new guy from the mail room? 1.3707 0.05548 116 80 29 7
650 We received another complaint that your management style is too old fashioned. 1.3706 0.04621 143 100 36 7
651 I usually work from home. 1.3704 0.05123 135 93 34 8
652 This isn’t how you protect your computer from Trojan horses, sir. 1.3704 0.05823 108 75 26 7
653 We get it, you did you junior year abroad. 1.3704 0.05335 135 95 30 10
654 Your resume looks great, but as a black woman, you need a thick skin to work here. 1.3704 0.05538 135 97 26 12
655 Boss told me I was too thin-skinned. 1.3701 0.04848 127 84 39 4
656 Call me M’Lady one more time, and I’m going to H.R. 1.3700 0.05801 100 68 27 5
657 And your preferred pronouns? 1.3699 0.05235 146 104 30 12
658 Your co-workers feel you're a little guarded around them. 1.3696 0.05047 138 95 35 8
659 There’s a Mr Merlin here to see you. 1.3696 0.05252 138 97 31 10
660 Yes I am the Principal, why? 1.3694 0.05713 111 77 27 7
661 Actuarial Errantry is not a thing, Norman. 1.3692 0.05583 130 93 26 11
662 You can tell me, Ms Roberts, I’m like a steel trap. 1.3692 0.05793 130 95 22 13
663 It was a real battle to get into work today. 1.3689 0.05232 122 83 33 6
664 So the round table is still unavailable? 1.3689 0.05484 122 85 29 8
665 I am now prepared for the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Send my lawyer in." 1.3681 0.04602 163 112 42 9
666 So,you're the new guy on the knight shift? 1.3676 0.05093 136 94 34 8
667 I don't know why anyone would say I was thin-skinned. 1.3676 0.05093 136 96 31 9
668 No more Mr. Nice Guy. 1.3675 0.05771 117 83 25 9
669 Did you forget it's casual Friday? 1.3675 0.05897 117 84 23 10
670 Please stop dressing like you’re still working from home. 1.3672 0.05419 128 90 29 9
671 That's not the malware protection we meant. 1.3667 0.05909 120 87 22 11
672 HR said if you're vaxed and boosted masks are optional. 1.3667 0.04862 150 104 37 9
673 No ma'am. You need that next desk. I'm only the knight manager. 1.3667 0.05667 120 85 26 9
674 Why do I get the feeling I'm about to be fired? 1.3662 0.05143 142 100 32 10
675 Surely you joust. 1.3661 0.06213 112 82 19 11
676 And lastly, as to your pronouns, do you prefer “my liege” or “m’lady”? 1.3661 0.05812 112 79 25 8
677 I'm going to be here all knight. 1.3659 0.05448 123 86 29 8
678 I understand you are presenting the Oscar for Best Actor tonight. 1.3657 0.05854 134 100 19 15
679 It’s my middle age crisis. 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
680 And can you get me a can of oil, and not any of this foreign oil 1.3651 0.05589 126 90 26 10
681 Doth ye notice anything different about me ? 1.3651 0.05357 126 88 30 8
682 Tell me. What’s your distress? 1.3650 0.05167 137 96 32 9
683 Well, “Beth from HR”, perhaps I left it blank for a reason. How would you like it if I asked which year YOU were born in? 1.3646 0.05946 96 66 25 5
684 Well, didn't you say I should work the knight shift? 1.3643 0.05190 140 99 31 10
685 Shall we begin your performance review? 1.3636 0.05076 132 91 34 7
686 It makes you look ten years younger, sir. 1.3636 0.06168 99 70 22 7
687 This was the only clean suit I had left. 1.3636 0.05589 110 76 28 6
688 So you're saying mead is unallowable on the travel reimbursement? 1.3636 0.04917 143 99 36 8
689 I do miss working from castle. 1.3636 0.05016 143 100 34 9
690 Damsels are down 37%, and there were no dragons in Q1. 1.3631 0.05124 157 114 29 14
691 Add our usual boilerplate at the beginning. 1.3628 0.06037 113 82 21 10
692 My chair squeaks. 1.3628 0.05905 113 81 23 9
693 There's not a round table in Conference Room B either. 1.3626 0.06904 91 67 15 9
694 If you're that worried about being back in the office, just wear an N-95. 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
695 Yes…your salary is medieval…do you think I wear this outfit for fun? 1.3624 0.04968 149 105 34 10
696 Great! I send you out for WD-40 and you come back with 3 in 1 oil. 1.3624 0.04876 149 104 36 9
697 What makes you think I don't welcome criticism? 1.3623 0.05033 138 96 34 8
698 So, you got demoted from the round circle to the hopeless rectangle? 1.3623 0.05339 138 99 28 11
699 "Thank goodness for casual Friday- chain mail is way more comfortable." 1.3623 0.04926 138 95 36 7
700 I read here that you have nerves of steel. 1.3622 0.05204 127 88 32 7
701 I'm actually wearing it to protect you. 1.3622 0.04830 127 87 35 5
702 An anonymous employee complained that company culture is combative and old-fashioned. 1.3617 0.05829 94 64 26 4
703 Must be performance review day. 1.3615 0.05461 130 96 23 11
704 Can you tell me a little more about your experience with trebuchets? 1.3613 0.05563 119 84 27 8
705 Thick skin isn’t enough for this job. 1.3613 0.05563 119 84 27 8
706 According to the CDC it's my option 1.3611 0.06094 108 78 21 9
707 I see on your resume you are willing to work a knight shift. 1.3611 0.05084 144 102 32 10
708 I said ‘Work at Night’! 1.3609 0.05156 133 93 32 8
709 What do you mean, "...and from the waist down?"? 1.3607 0.05468 122 86 28 8
710 Oh great...the building entrance is getting metal detectors! 1.3600 0.06594 100 74 16 10
711 For months, everyone thought this was my Zoom avatar. 1.3600 0.06280 100 72 20 8
712 If I may, sir, oval might be a better fit. 1.3600 0.05495 125 89 27 9
713 You can threaten to throw down both gauntlets, I'm still resigning. 1.3600 0.06439 100 73 18 9
714 Expecting a rough review? 1.3596 0.05727 114 81 25 8
715 It's fine, you can go. I'll handle the knight shift...again. 1.3595 0.04961 153 109 33 11
716 Call me “sir”. 1.3592 0.05830 103 72 25 6
717 Did you get me my oil? 1.3592 0.05031 142 100 33 9
718 Shall I make reservations for tonight at the Round Table? 1.3588 0.05533 131 95 25 11
719 A can opener, a very large can opener! 1.3587 0.07180 92 70 11 11
720 No, sir, I did not hear about a resurgence of the plague. 1.3585 0.05872 106 75 24 7
721 I’m sensing some defensiveness here. 1.3581 0.05339 148 109 25 14
722 I applied for the night shift... 1.3581 0.04890 148 104 35 9
723 Cancel the meeting. I can't see them now. 1.3579 0.06334 95 68 20 7
724 Sorry, Sir. Did you want your lance or your lunch? 1.3578 0.06186 109 80 19 10
725 I see eliminating waste has become a real crusade. 1.3577 0.05307 123 86 30 7
726 I don't care what legal says, this agreement is iron clad. I should know, I wrote it myself! 1.3571 0.04934 154 110 33 11
727 I also have a Masters in Chivalry and am trained in broadaxe combat and strategies of the trebuchet. 1.3571 0.06686 98 73 15 10
728 Of course I can handle criticism. 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
729 Surely you joust …….? 1.3566 0.05138 129 92 29 8
730 Can I see your vaccine id? 1.3566 0.05590 129 94 24 11
731 Do you have King Arthur's email? 1.3562 0.05119 146 105 30 11
732 The co-op board called again. We need to do something about the moat. 1.3558 0.06098 104 75 21 8
733 —no I meant, do you surf? 1.3556 0.05306 135 97 28 10
734 ”Please, Sir, may I have a chair? 1.3556 0.06944 90 67 14 9
735 I'm being sacked? 1.3556 0.06762 90 68 13 9
736 Boss, I'm tired of working the knight shift. 1.3554 0.05852 121 89 21 11
737 The dermatologist told me not to scratch it. 1.3554 0.05611 121 87 25 9
738 I don't think that's what's meant by PPE 1.3554 0.05733 121 88 23 10
739 In this, sticks and stones REALLY can't break my bones. 1.3553 0.04612 152 105 40 7
740 Could you get me a straw with that please ? 1.3551 0.05673 107 75 26 6
741 Around here, we take personal safety seriously. 1.3551 0.05013 107 73 31 3
742 It's good to finally feel normal. 1.3548 0.05748 124 91 22 11
743 I think I have a fridge magnet stuck under my collar. 1.3545 0.06001 110 80 21 9
744 Can you help me understand your report? I’ve been working from home for awhile and I’m a bit rusty. 1.3545 0.06001 110 80 21 9
745 Please let me know when everyone has reviewed the new Chivalry and Valor policy. 1.3543 0.05306 127 90 29 8
746 Tell Bitterman in Accounting I challenge him to a joust over his refusal to accept my travel receipts. 1.3543 0.05306 127 90 29 8
747 Your request to wear armor was approved, but having a separate rest room was denied” 1.3543 0.05758 127 94 21 12
748 Just CC me on the chain mail. 1.3540 0.05611 113 80 26 7
749 Cancel my afternoon calls. I'm going to get a few jousts in. 1.3540 0.05750 113 81 24 8
750 I'm dreaming the impossible dream. 1.3540 0.05468 113 79 28 6
751 Don't worry, I've been knighted and boosted. 1.3535 0.06144 99 71 21 7
752 He's in with the jester right now. 1.3534 0.05511 116 82 27 7
753 Yes Mr Smith, "knight shift". Very funny. Now take it off and get on with your work please. 1.3529 0.05169 136 97 30 9
754 Your desk is at the round table just to your right with Lance. 1.3529 0.06017 102 73 22 7
755 It’s just in case of a hostile takeover. 1.3529 0.05853 102 72 24 6
756 Well Ms. Burns, how do you know it was MY horse that made a mess in the parking garage? 1.3529 0.05796 119 87 22 10
757 You can’t fire me. I’ve already been canned. 1.3529 0.06154 119 90 16 13
758 I am signing my email “knighty-knight” and I don't want to hear one thing about it. 1.3529 0.05685 102 71 26 5
759 I've got mail. 1.3525 0.04774 139 102 28 9
760 It says I've been transferred to knight shift. 1.3525 0.04882 139 97 35 7
761 Your boss has decided to allow you to continue working from home. 1.3523 0.06268 88 62 21 5
762 No, you can't expnse a round desk. 1.3520 0.05237 125 88 30 7
763 I told you, Jerry, it's NOT a HOSTILE takeover. 1.3519 0.05929 108 78 22 8
764 I get it—Another bad hair day. 1.3519 0.06074 108 79 20 9
765 It's an effort to bring chivalry back to the workplace. 1.3516 0.06127 91 64 22 5
766 Welcome back, you may be a little rusty. 1.3516 0.06514 91 66 18 7
767 You're telling me that in a city the size of New York you can't find six fire-throwing catapults? 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
768 Yeah…when HR said they wanted to see your mettle…uh… 1.3509 0.05570 114 81 26 7
769 Sorry, but 'Medieval Monday' isn't helping office morale. 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
770 The mask mandate has been lifted, sir. 1.3500 0.04854 140 98 35 7
771 It’s a reprimand from HR for sword fighting in the men’s room. 1.3500 0.05378 120 85 28 7
772 ...and the horse you rode in on. 1.3500 0.05876 120 89 20 11
773 And please, call me sir. 1.3500 0.04747 140 99 34 7
774 I feel like that last battle could have been an email. 1.3500 0.06093 100 72 21 7
775 I save a bundle on dry cleaning. 1.3500 0.06256 100 73 19 8
776 You were expecting a round table? 1.3500 0.05246 120 84 30 6
777 It's nice to be back from 're-moat' work. 1.3497 0.05086 143 105 27 11
778 What I applied for was a "night job". 1.3496 0.05535 123 89 25 9
779 Have you considered mediation? 1.3496 0.05288 123 90 25 8
780 You're mansplaining again, Brian, and stop calling me squire. 1.3495 0.06279 103 76 18 9
781 Your horse left you nice gift in the parking lot. 1.3491 0.06001 106 77 21 8
782 No, I get it. No judgements. My husband goes to work in a tunic. 1.3491 0.06149 106 78 19 9
783 I was in mail, but I’m better suited for this job. 1.3491 0.06149 106 78 19 9
784 Sir, I don't know HR's policy on nicknames, but I will not be answering to the Black Death. 1.3488 0.05464 129 94 25 10
785 I'm ready, Marian. Send in the auditors. 1.3483 0.06412 89 64 19 6
786 Tim when I said we’re being sacked that’s not what I meant. 1.3483 0.06608 89 65 17 7
787 I’m in the witness protection program. 1.3483 0.06412 89 64 19 6
788 I said "chain mail", not "email." 1.3481 0.05185 135 97 29 9
789 Aren’t you taking an abundance of caution a bit too far? 1.3478 0.05390 115 81 28 6
790 Takes more than a thick skin for this job. 1.3478 0.06454 92 67 18 7
791 Dress for the job you want 1.3475 0.05433 118 84 27 7
792 I think you misunderstood the night shift arrangements…. 1.3475 0.05819 118 87 21 10
793 The health insurance isn't great, but we have an ingenious new method to stop communicable diseases. 1.3474 0.06483 95 70 17 8
794 I am ready for my 10 o'clock. So very ready. 1.3472 0.04759 144 101 36 7
795 And you have that roundtable discussion at three. 1.3471 0.05715 121 89 22 10
796 How are you with high-stress situations? 1.3471 0.05341 121 86 28 7
797 The new cybersecurity guidelines are pretty extreme 1.3469 0.04984 147 106 31 10
798 Are you willing to work the Knight shift? 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
799 What do you think of "Knights of the Octagonal Table"? 1.3465 0.05876 101 72 23 6
800 What time is your meeting in the Dragon's Den? 1.3465 0.06042 101 73 21 7
801 I know you’re new here, Mr. Wilson, but extremely cautious clothing day is Monday, not Friday. 1.3465 0.05742 127 95 20 12
802 Since this if your first day I should let you know that my pronouns are thou, thee and thine. 1.3462 0.05429 130 95 25 10
803 No water. No coffee. No tea. I rust my case. 1.3462 0.06227 104 77 18 9
804 The guy in the mail room wants his uniform back. 1.3462 0.05852 130 99 17 14
805 Not unmotivated. Just scared to plug the computer in. 1.3458 0.05804 107 77 23 7
806 I'm not getting any more paper cuts. 1.3455 0.05393 110 77 28 5
807 When I asked for the night manager I think they misunderstood 1.3455 0.06118 110 82 18 10
808 Sir, your 2 o'clock duel is here 1.3452 0.06448 84 60 19 5
809 HR thinks you come off as defensive. 1.3452 0.07284 84 64 11 9
810 I know they call me the "Dragon Lady", but this is a bit much! 1.3451 0.05999 113 84 19 10
811 The Community Theatre is doing Spamalot. 1.3451 0.05446 113 80 27 6
812 Hello madam, And welcome to the Knightshift. 1.3451 0.05002 142 102 31 9
813 I heard you were thick-skinned. 1.3448 0.05757 116 85 22 9
814 You really need to spend some time in the Mail room. 1.3448 0.05121 145 106 28 11
815 Sorry, I'm just filling in today. The person who's usually here just has a mild case of the Plague. 1.3448 0.06135 116 88 16 12
816 You're the new head of cybersecurity? 1.3445 0.05778 119 88 21 10
817 Do you think you might be taking this whole Covid mask mandate a bit too far sire? 1.3444 0.05946 90 63 23 4
818 Hark! A summons from HR. 1.3444 0.06734 90 67 15 8
819 Sorry, I don't do knight work. 1.3443 0.05305 122 87 28 7
820 Yes, I have twenty years experience with an oil can. 1.3443 0.05909 122 92 18 12
821 I just never get tired of the Gothic font. 1.3443 0.05909 122 92 18 12
822 The expense report you submitted for time traveling has been denied. 1.3441 0.06395 93 68 18 7
823 Oh look, it's my nightmare in shining armor. 1.3440 0.05914 125 95 17 13
824 They made me put this on when I told them I still had an AOL email address. 1.3438 0.05254 128 92 28 8
825 Listen, people assume that just because I wear a suit of armor that suddenly I’m immune to the backstabbing. 1.3438 0.05594 128 95 22 11
826 Sure I fired flaming arrows at you yesterday— is that what this is about? 1.3434 0.06285 99 73 18 8
827 The negativity just bounces right off. 1.3431 0.05828 102 73 23 6
828 "Team-Building. We're jousting" 1.3431 0.05828 102 73 23 6
829 Alright Richard, suit yourself! 1.3426 0.05759 108 78 23 7
830 I'm noticing a lack of dragon slaying experience on your resume. 1.3425 0.04998 146 106 30 10
831 You do know that mask thing is over?! 1.3423 0.06070 111 83 18 10
832 I see you've been demoted from the Round Table, Steve. 1.3423 0.06070 111 83 18 10
833 I made a Jada joke. 1.3421 0.06082 114 86 17 11
834 Where are the "thees" and "thous" that I asked for? 1.3421 0.05261 114 80 29 5
835 Chivalry? I'd prefer a raise. 1.3421 0.05548 114 82 25 7
836 It’s actually quite comfortable unless I need to use the bathroom. 1.3419 0.05584 117 85 24 8
837 Glad to see you’re coming out of your shell. 1.3419 0.05842 117 87 20 10
838 Don’t quit your knight job. 1.3419 0.05451 117 84 26 7
839 In the old days this Restraining Order would have been enough. 1.3417 0.05857 120 90 19 11
840 Shall I suggest a virtual meeting with Mr. Smith? 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
841 I’m calling you Mr. Frahmlitz, not Sir anything.” 1.3415 0.05394 123 89 26 8
842 So… you’re Ms. Roberts. I am Mr. Knight. And yes, I take my name very seriously. 1.3415 0.05753 123 92 20 11
843 So what is your strong suit? 1.3413 0.05653 126 94 21 11
844 I prefer sir/thou pronouns thank you. 1.3413 0.05539 126 93 23 10
845 I was told you're in charge of the mail. 1.3413 0.05423 126 92 25 9
846 How are you at pulling swords from stones? 1.3413 0.05653 126 94 21 11
847 This is NOT what I thought personnel meant when they said “report for night shift” 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
848 Ma’am this is the Medieval Times. The New York Times is across the great hall. 1.3412 0.06809 85 63 15 7
849 A plague upon this fourth-quarter earnings report! 1.3411 0.05665 129 97 20 12
850 I told you, I am not working knights. 1.3411 0.05220 129 93 28 8
851 Welcome to the Knight Shift...visors are optional 1.3409 0.05139 132 98 25 9
852 Is this a new Covid 'thing'? 1.3409 0.06642 88 65 16 7
853 I'm on knight shift. 1.3409 0.06836 88 66 14 8
854 Well, I know we dropped the mask requirement but my wife still wants me to use protection. 1.3407 0.04950 135 96 32 7
855 You might be taking our new masking policy a bit too far. 1.3407 0.05274 135 99 26 10
856 Surely you must be jousting 1.3407 0.05274 135 99 26 10
857 Profits are down 10% this quarter. I must be getting rusty. 1.3407 0.05274 135 99 26 10
858 Which one of us in this cartoon is talking? I can't see anyone's mouth moving! 1.3407 0.06851 91 69 13 9
859 I'm tired of being just another 'suit'. 1.3406 0.04986 138 99 31 8
860 Sorry I don't do requisitions. Just inquisitions. 1.3404 0.06857 94 72 12 10
861 It is in fact a typo, they're looking for mid-level management not medieval. 1.3404 0.05965 94 67 22 5
862 I was just jousting. 1.3404 0.06337 94 69 18 7
863 Where’s your mask? 1.3404 0.06154 94 68 20 6
864 I hope one day I'll be a knight to remember. 1.3402 0.05461 97 67 27 3
865 great being back in the office right? 1.3400 0.06231 100 74 18 8
866 I've got chainmail 1.3400 0.06067 100 73 20 7
867 No, Janice, apparently I did not get the memo. 1.3400 0.06391 100 75 16 9
868 You realize that you have to start at the Page level? 1.3398 0.05781 103 74 23 6
869 I asked you to call me sire 1.3396 0.05826 106 77 22 7
870 - Rehearsing your Oscars monologue, I guess? 1.3394 0.06144 109 82 17 10
871 Now that social distancing is over, I've moved on to social jousting. 1.3390 0.05674 118 87 22 9
872 Not everyone is cut out for working the knight shift. 1.3388 0.05449 121 88 25 8
873 So it's a night job? 1.3387 0.04977 124 87 32 5
874 Legal still won't let us pillage Marketing, eh? 1.3387 0.05597 124 92 22 10
875 We asked you to come in at night, not come in as a knight! 1.3386 0.05502 127 94 23 10
876 Yes, I know I have mail. What about it? 1.3386 0.05502 127 94 23 10
877 Ask the bishop to slide in now. 1.3385 0.04951 130 92 32 6
878 Are you the new guy? Dress up day means no jeans... 1.3385 0.05070 130 96 26 8
879 Even the visor is optional now. 1.3383 0.04878 133 94 33 6
880 I Just Want To Be Prepared For My Performance Review. 1.3383 0.05217 133 100 23 10
881 Tell me again about "casual Friday." 1.3383 0.05325 133 98 25 10
882 You are not a knight in shining armor. You are the human resources officer. 1.3380 0.05182 142 105 26 11
883 Upper management wants your input on this potential hostile take-over, sir. 1.3380 0.05278 142 106 24 12
884 Put it in the Shall-Doeth file. 1.3378 0.05033 148 109 28 11
885 Sorry, sir, but we're all out of WD-40. 1.3373 0.06700 83 61 16 6
886 Yes, I did start out in the mail room. But how did you know? 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
887 I'm not a kid gloves kind of guy. 1.3371 0.06769 89 67 14 8
888 It would just make people around the office feel a bit more comfortable if you’d put pants on. 1.3371 0.06578 89 66 16 7
889 Since you've joined we haven't had any hostile takeovers. 1.3370 0.06424 92 68 17 7
890 Your 2:30 just arrived at the moat. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
891 I've forgotten to pick up your dry cleaning again, haven't I sir? 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
892 Clearly, you’re not suited for this job. 1.3368 0.05913 95 68 22 5
893 You must be the new freelancer. 1.3366 0.06016 101 74 20 7
894 I’ve been your assistant for three years. Isn’t it time to let down your guard? 1.3365 0.06051 104 77 19 8
895 I'm really better suited for the day shift. 1.3365 0.05895 104 76 21 7
896 Let me guess - I’m on nights again this week. 1.3365 0.05223 104 75 25 4
897 Looks like an ironclad agreement to me! 1.3364 0.05368 110 78 27 5
898 Dress codes are history around here. 1.3364 0.05671 110 80 23 7
899 My wife won't iron my shirts any more. 1.3364 0.05816 110 81 21 8
900 I don't take flak from anyone. 1.3363 0.05423 113 81 26 6
901 You know, you can't be the knight in shining armor at the office all the time. 1.3361 0.05758 119 89 20 10
902 I’m freelancing. 1.3361 0.05021 122 86 31 5
903 Is the contract iron-clad, sir? 1.3361 0.05021 122 86 31 5
904 Just call me Sir. 1.3358 0.05074 134 99 26 9
905 I know we always ask you, but can you work the knight shift? 1.3358 0.05105 137 100 28 9
906 I’m sorry, but I can’t work late tonight. The drawbridge closes at 5:00. 1.3357 0.05029 140 102 29 9
907 Don't tell me you ordered from White Castle again. 1.3333 0.06675 87 65 15 7
908 Do I look fat in this? 1.3333 0.06398 96 72 16 8
909 This must be my new page. 1.3333 0.06046 96 70 20 6
910 Get out of town! You used to be a full time maid AND your name is Marion? 1.3333 0.05758 132 102 16 14
911 The dragon called, sir. He's got a scheduling conflict and can't make today's slaying. 1.3333 0.05521 126 94 22 10
912 You're not big on vulnerability, are you? 1.3333 0.05634 126 95 20 11
913 This is my no one in this department is getting a raise outfit. 1.3333 0.07252 84 65 10 9
914 We have a strict below-knee dress code in this department Grace, you should know that by now… 1.3333 0.06126 102 76 18 8
915 ...I didn't shave this morning. 1.3333 0.06495 78 56 18 4
916 Your 2:30 joust has been moved to 4. 1.3333 0.06044 87 62 21 4
917 Sorry I'm late but there was a long line at the drawbridge. 1.3333 0.05788 93 66 23 4
918 The mail is late. 1.3333 0.05374 123 90 25 8
919 I specifically requested a round table. 1.3333 0.05424 108 77 26 5
920 We feel you're creating a hostile work environment. 1.3333 0.05627 111 81 23 7
921 I've been asked to host the Oscars.. 1.3333 0.06258 99 74 17 8
922 I think I'm finally ready to apply for that defense contractor job. 1.3333 0.05688 105 76 23 6
923 I'm promoting you to squire. 1.3333 0.04845 111 76 33 2
924 Let’s make this a royalty deal. 1.3333 0.06495 78 56 18 4
925 As of Monday, you're in charge of the mail room. 1.3333 0.06398 96 72 16 8
926 They want me to host the Oscars next year 1.3309 0.05328 136 102 23 11
927 ... and move my joust to tomorrow. 1.3308 0.05088 133 97 28 8
928 Let me take a stab at it. 1.3307 0.05130 127 92 28 7
929 My last boss always said they hated working knights. 1.3307 0.05250 127 93 26 8
930 I want to assure you Steve that this employee evaluation is for your benefit. 1.3307 0.05250 127 93 26 8
931 The pen is mightier than the sword. Look how far it got me. 1.3306 0.05213 124 90 27 7
932 I don't care what the CDC says, I'm not taking any chances. 1.3306 0.05337 124 91 25 8
933 I thought we only had to wear face masks 1.3305 0.05779 118 89 19 10
934 You’ve got mail. 1.3304 0.05757 115 86 20 9
935 So when did the mask policy change? 1.3304 0.06016 115 88 16 11
936 We're all rooting for you against the Dark Knight, sir. Though the office pool has you in second. 1.3304 0.05289 112 80 27 5
937 We're a little old school here. 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
938 Nobody aspires to stay in medieval management 1.3302 0.05143 106 74 29 3
939 No Sir, I checked.. there is no R & D&D Department 1.3302 0.05643 106 77 23 6
940 Welcome back to the office. 1.3301 0.05753 103 75 22 6
941 Alas, I seek a damsel with a bit more experience in distress. 1.3301 0.05917 103 76 20 7
942 So that is what you needed to do to break through the glass ceiling in this company? 1.3301 0.05917 103 76 20 7
943 Please tell the Union representatives that I am ready to see them now 1.3300 0.05870 100 73 21 6
944 At Human Resources we always value transparency and accessibility. 1.3299 0.05623 97 69 24 4
945 No Arthur, I did not leave my mask at the castle. I’m vaccinated. 1.3299 0.05993 97 71 20 6
946 There's no need for that, sexual harassment isn't an issue here. 1.3298 0.06123 94 69 19 6
947 Your 10:00 o'clock is A2 to C3. 1.3298 0.06660 94 72 13 9
948 On the internet, nobody knows you're a knight. 1.3297 0.06063 91 66 20 5
949 This red tape is medieval. 1.3297 0.06640 91 69 14 8
950 Sir, could you please lower the bridge over the moat, Uber is here with our lunch. 1.3295 0.06201 88 64 19 5
951 No Susan; it stays on until the haircut grows out. 1.3295 0.06609 88 66 15 7
952 We need to move the damsel to 3, and the sword is still not budging. 1.3294 0.06775 85 64 14 7
953 Before we begin could you get me a cup of coffee? ... Oh, and a little WD-40 on the side? 1.3286 0.05114 140 104 26 10
954 It's time to lose your workplace armor. 1.3284 0.05378 134 101 22 11
955 We want to reassure you that our corporate culture encourages vulnerability 1.3282 0.05018 131 95 29 7
956 You do know that 'Dragon of Wall Street' is just a nickname? 1.3279 0.05636 122 92 20 10
957 Miss Jones, this is not the type of page I requested. 1.3279 0.05263 122 89 26 7
958 My pronouns are "thine" and "thou" 1.3277 0.05483 119 88 23 8
959 I thought you should take the first stab at it. 1.3277 0.05352 119 87 25 7
960 Here's a list of everyone who submitted a caption with the phrase "knight shift" in it. I want them all murdered. 1.3276 0.06095 116 90 14 12
961 And so is the NDA. 1.3274 0.05684 113 84 21 8
962 Welcome to security, how may I be of service? 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
963 When they said iron man naturally I thought athlete. 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
964 You want the guy in the bubble. Two desks over. 1.3271 0.05905 107 80 19 8
965 I assure you, Will Smith has left the building. 1.3271 0.05905 107 80 19 8
966 It’s not that kind of hostile takeover. 1.3267 0.05648 101 73 23 5
967 I have my performance review this afternoon. 1.3267 0.05988 101 75 19 7
968 I'm Lance, Head of Security 1.3265 0.05761 98 71 22 5
969 No, this is Payroll. HR is the Angel of Death. 1.3265 0.06285 98 74 16 8
970 90 words a minute is good. How about on horseback? 1.3265 0.05761 98 71 22 5
971 It was either this or another company golf shirt. 1.3263 0.06427 95 72 15 8
972 Is the conference room available? I have an issue I want to round-table. 1.3263 0.06599 95 73 13 9
973 I just need to figure out my bathroom breaks. 1.3263 0.06250 95 71 17 7
974 Once you slay the dragon, it's all downhill from there. 1.3261 0.06931 92 72 10 10
975 They've thrown down the gauntlet, sir. 1.3258 0.06347 89 66 17 6
976 Some say our hiring practices are rather Byzantine. 1.3258 0.05931 89 64 21 4
977 Six feet, please! 1.3254 0.04890 126 90 31 5
978 You don’t need to call me Sir. 1.3252 0.05227 123 90 26 7
979 Are you ready for your six month evaluation? 1.3248 0.05800 117 89 18 10
980 ...and if the Green Knight calls, I'm not in. 1.3248 0.05540 117 87 22 8
981 Have the interns finished digging the moat? 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
982 I may have misunderstood “Save the prints.” 1.3246 0.05910 114 87 17 10
983 And then, of course, there’s your noon meeting with Will Smith. 1.3243 0.06025 111 85 16 10
984 I’ve already told you, challenging your peers to a duel is not an overtime elegible event. 1.3243 0.05145 111 79 28 4
985 You certainly are thin-skinned! 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
986 On vellum, Ms. Davis. Did I or did I not specify on vellum? 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
987 It's casual Friday. 1.3241 0.05858 108 81 19 8
988 Chivalry is alive and kicking. It’s these sales results that are dead. 1.3235 0.05938 102 76 19 7
989 I thought it was a typo when the ad said looking for knight shift work. 1.3235 0.05938 102 76 19 7
990 I don't understand why you are so up in arms about it. 1.3235 0.05772 102 75 21 6
991 Your jousting experience is a little thin. 1.3233 0.05288 133 100 23 10
992 Can you play Fortnite? 1.3232 0.06393 99 76 14 9
993 Three months salary, four horses, a remote parcel of land, and I get to keep the computer? Maryanne, I’m not leaving. 1.3232 0.05712 99 72 22 5
994 Sorry. I thought you were Will Smith. 1.3229 0.06369 96 73 15 8
995 I see you’ve steeled yourself in expectation of your negative review. 1.3228 0.05109 127 93 27 7
996 They were out of Teflon. 1.3226 0.06146 93 69 18 6
997 We prefer to meet around a table. 1.3226 0.05191 124 91 26 7
998 Working from the castle was too isolating. 1.3226 0.05547 93 66 24 3
999 You are not as shiny as I had imagined 1.3223 0.04726 121 88 29 4
1000 What can I say? I thought Armani was armor in Italian. 1.3222 0.06085 90 66 19 5
1001 Clarify what you mean when you say get the mail. 1.3218 0.06436 87 65 16 6
1002 Sir, may we take separate horses to the meeting this time? 1.3217 0.05119 143 108 24 11
1003 Oh, this? We have an intramural jousting team.” 1.3214 0.05262 112 81 26 5
1004 Medieval Mondays isn't a thing, sir. 1.3214 0.06374 84 62 17 5
1005 Congratulations on crossing the moat. 1.3214 0.06595 84 63 15 6
1006 This is 2022. You cannot address the client as ‘fair maiden’. 1.3214 0.07016 84 65 11 8
1007 The dragon brought his lawyer. 1.3214 0.06809 84 64 13 7
1008 I know Halloween is over, but I can't get it off. 1.3214 0.06595 84 63 15 6
1009 This isn't what I meant by working nights. 1.3212 0.04852 137 100 30 7
1010 Yes, I did take an axe to your budget. 1.3211 0.05194 109 78 27 4
1011 It’s throwback Thursday. 1.3210 0.06042 81 60 17 4
1012 First, you'll need a special visa for the Holy Land 1.3210 0.07207 81 63 10 8
1013 Sir, staff is complaining that your management style is a bit Medieval." 1.3210 0.06042 81 58 20 3
1014 I hate working knights. 1.3209 0.05146 134 100 25 9
1015 Sorry, the squeaking wasn’t a problem when we we’re working from home. 1.3208 0.05615 106 78 22 6
1016 In five years, I see myself on a quest. Then, a desk job. 1.3204 0.06203 103 79 15 9
1017 At least I'm back in the office. 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1018 I told you I only work knights. 1.3204 0.06048 103 78 17 8
1019 I’ll be ‘ on time’ when you get security to lose the metal detector “ 1.3204 0.06203 103 79 15 9
1020 No, it will not protect you from the coronavirus, nor will it protect you from an English longbow. 1.3203 0.05426 128 97 21 10
1021 Afraid of a new COVID strain? 1.3203 0.04952 128 95 26 7
1022 Oh, this is a typo. You want Theo Knight, next office over. 1.3200 0.05279 125 93 24 8
1023 Personally, I like it, but Bob in HR thinks you’re being too defensive. 1.3200 0.05664 100 73 22 5
1024 Me? Defensive? 1.3200 0.06010 100 75 18 7
1025 I'll have you know my password is very protected. 1.3200 0.05840 100 74 20 6
1026 After two years of working from the castle, it’s great to be back in the office. But I’m still going to take precautions. 1.3197 0.05109 122 89 27 6
1027 I'm suffering the slings and arrows of middle management. 1.3197 0.05368 122 91 23 8
1028 Sorry, I'm a little bit rusty. 1.3196 0.05778 97 71 21 5
1029 A cloth mask would suffice to prevent the spread of COVID. 1.3194 0.04479 144 103 36 5
1030 The pen may be mightier, but the sword goes snicker-snack. 1.3191 0.06455 94 72 14 8
1031 The last applicant went all medieval on me. 1.3191 0.05899 94 69 20 5
1032 Is this letter chain mail? Ba da bump. 1.3190 0.05421 116 86 23 7
1033 It didn't work against the Black Plague and it's not going to work against COVID! 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1034 What makes you think I'm so defensive? 1.3187 0.06790 91 71 11 9
1035 Well, you asked for an iron-clad agreement, didn't you? 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1036 Working the knight shift grows on you. 1.3186 0.05223 113 82 26 5
1037 But my offer letter says I could have a round table. 1.3186 0.05373 113 83 24 6
1038 I'm sorry, sir, but there are supply chain problems with obtaining your favorite oil. 1.3182 0.05155 110 79 27 4
1039 This might take a while, I'm a little rusty. 1.3182 0.05469 110 81 23 6
1040 Officer Murphy says your steed is unloading fertilizer without a license. 1.3182 0.06574 88 67 14 7
1041 They've sent me in as part of the corporate rescue package. 1.3182 0.05620 110 82 21 7
1042 You call it a crusade, we call it a project. 1.3182 0.05314 110 80 25 5
1043 You know working as a teacher at our inner city school is a very dangerous assignment? 1.3182 0.06574 88 67 14 7
1044 HR removed the round table. 1.3182 0.06164 88 65 18 5
1045 Don’t mind my armor, I’m just a germaphobe. 1.3182 0.06574 88 67 14 7
1046 I'm handing in my resignation because you don't pay me enough to tolerate your chastity-belt Fridays 1.3178 0.06027 107 82 16 9
1047 So where's your mask? 1.3178 0.06171 107 83 14 10
1048 It’s not round and you’re not Guinevere. 1.3176 0.06309 85 63 17 5
1049 You think you have the grit to serve on the Knight shift? 1.3175 0.07445 63 47 12 4
1050 Do you see yourself leading a charge or retreating? 1.3175 0.04867 126 94 26 6
1051 Have you seen my quill? 1.3173 0.05339 104 75 25 4
1052 Please tell him I was just jousting 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1053 Back in the day, we never worked knights. 1.3171 0.06693 82 62 14 6
1054 ...but I don't want to work knight shifts. My training was for the Ivory Tower. 1.3171 0.06915 82 63 12 7
1055 Can I help you? 1.3171 0.05204 123 91 25 7
1056 Sir , I told you once a knight is enough 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
1057 I find your approach to be a little outdated 1.3168 0.06123 101 77 16 8
1058 Iron clad contracts. That’s what we expect at this law firm. 1.3167 0.05674 120 92 18 10
1059 I manage our department's slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. 1.3167 0.05674 120 92 18 10
1060 Polishing armor was not in my job description 1.3165 0.06630 79 59 15 5
1061 Valet parking is bringing up your steed. 1.3165 0.05850 79 56 21 2
1062 We're ordering in....wild boar on rye, hold the mustard? 1.3163 0.06085 98 74 17 7
1063 Sorry for the squeaking noises. I have an appointment with my blacksmith later this afternoon. 1.3163 0.05542 98 71 23 4
1064 Ok, Shirley. Let's get started with the annual staff evaluations. 1.3163 0.06085 98 74 17 7
1065 It doesn't stop a pink slip 1.3163 0.05909 98 73 19 6
1066 Ready for court? 1.3158 0.05022 95 66 28 1
1067 Just so you know, I'm wearing a chastity belt. 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
1068 I get that you’re going to ask for a raise today. 1.3158 0.05847 95 70 20 5
1069 Do you need your moat pass validated? 1.3158 0.06396 95 73 14 8
1070 Well, everyone feels like going back to the office is medieval, too! 1.3158 0.06035 95 71 18 6
1071 They are waiting for you in the boardroom. 1.3154 0.04888 130 95 29 6
1072 I'm sorry Mr. Jones, Cosplay Friday is tomorrow. 1.3153 0.05721 111 84 19 8
1073 Speaking of dragons, you're fired. 1.3152 0.05972 92 68 19 5
1074 No, I've never heard of Full Body Contact Chess...why do you ask? 1.3152 0.06545 92 71 13 8
1075 I plan to get medieval on the to-do list today, Roz. 1.3152 0.05338 92 65 25 2
1076 From now on, you will no longer have to pick up my dry cleaning. 1.3152 0.05769 92 67 21 4
1077 I have a meeting with the tenured faculty. 1.3152 0.06359 92 70 15 7
1078 You're going to have to move the jousting to another day. I've got the Round Table gang at noon and then we've got the Holy Grail internet search all afternoon. 1.3151 0.04737 146 108 30 8
1079 I said I needed someone for the night shift. 1.3150 0.05208 127 95 24 8
1080 I will defend your honor, my lady, once you complete the proper forms in triplicate. 1.3148 0.06261 108 85 12 11
1081 I'd love to help you shift files today but my joints are acting up again. 1.3148 0.05368 108 79 24 5
1082 What's this Guinevere, casual friday? 1.3148 0.05831 108 82 18 8
1083 I know a thing or two about headcount reduction. 1.3148 0.05681 108 81 20 7
1084 When I said you'd be working the night shift... 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
1085 Security is calling, Sir. It seems to have something to do with the metal detector at the entrance. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1086 I miss work from castle. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1087 He's not scaling the ramparts. He's just washing the windows. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1088 They said the pen was mightier than the sword 1.3143 0.05631 105 78 21 6
1089 These numbers are going to be tough to defend. 1.3143 0.04764 140 103 30 7
1090 I can see you really mean that ironclad guarantee you give in the contract 1.3140 0.05120 121 89 26 6
1091 I handle all the outdated systems. 1.3140 0.06462 86 65 15 6
1092 Now joust a minute! 1.3139 0.04942 137 102 27 8
1093 If you want a knighthood, you better hurry. The queen is 95. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1094 My fair lady, this is not worth the parchment upon which it is scribed! 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1095 I SAID, “THE MASK MANDATE IS OVER, SIR” 1.3136 0.05342 118 88 23 7
1096 Bill, I can promise you that "corporate headhunters" is a metaphor. 1.3133 0.07053 83 65 10 8
1097 I see you are ready for the diversity training. 1.3133 0.05667 83 59 22 2
1098 The only solution I see is archery. 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
1099 You don't have to be so literal about the archaic rules in this company. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1100 Anticipating a little blow back in the meeting, Sir? 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1101 Your two o’clock joust is stuck in traffic and may need to reschedule. 1.3131 0.06200 99 76 15 8
1102 Any experience with organizing roundtables? 1.3130 0.05435 115 86 22 7
1103 That contract is ironclad. 1.3130 0.05293 115 85 24 6
1104 I'm trying to find who ordered lubricant on the corporate credit card 1.3130 0.05435 115 86 22 7
1105 I am slain by your resumé. 1.3130 0.05435 115 86 22 7
1106 I hate to bother you, but could you please pour the coffee in my visor. 1.3130 0.05093 131 98 25 8
1107 When you are asking me if I am am willing to work nights, how exactly are you spelling it? 1.3130 0.04857 131 96 29 6
1108 Sir, they've tried several times, but they say they just can't get through. 1.3130 0.05093 131 98 25 8
1109 Thanks for taking my knight shift. 1.3125 0.05795 96 71 20 5
1110 Yes, the job is for the knight shift. 1.3125 0.05234 112 82 25 5
1111 How's knight school? 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
1112 Shouldn’t you be at the round table? 1.3125 0.05386 112 83 23 6
1113 I love being back in the office. Why do you ask" 1.3125 0.07025 80 62 11 7
1114 It says here on your resume you use to work at a lube center 1.3125 0.05533 112 84 21 7
1115 Taco Tuesday, you want anything? 1.3125 0.06057 80 58 19 3
1116 I really appreciate your commitment to working at knight time. 1.3125 0.05602 96 70 22 4
1117 The pickleball thing is over. I’m moving on to jousting. 1.3119 0.05785 109 83 18 8
1118 I thought the job would be right for me because I am also middle aged. 1.3118 0.06661 93 73 11 9
1119 Did you remember the straw? 1.3118 0.06111 93 70 17 6
1120 I see you’re all dressed up for the round table discussion we’re having today. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
1121 Overdressed for the weather! 1.3113 0.04900 106 75 29 2
1122 No you can’t call me Guinevere even if it is freaky Friday around here 1.3113 0.05899 106 81 17 8
1123 It's casual Friday. I'm wearing Under Armour. 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
1124 Mr. Arthur says the meeting at the Round Table starts in ten minutes. 1.3111 0.05837 90 66 20 4
1125 Join Upper Management for a round table discussion re next-level synergy." Strewth, Mabel, my time has come 1.3109 0.05303 119 93 17 9
1126 Day shift work was bad enough, but this knight shift is killing me. 1.3108 0.07434 74 58 9 7
1127 Best diet I’ve ever done. 1.3107 0.05349 103 78 20 5
1128 My other Covid mask is in the laundry. 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
1129 You need to call HR. There's an issue with your ID photo. 1.3103 0.06603 87 67 13 7
1130 Please tell me you are not planning to "go medieval" in the staff meeting again. 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
1131 I don't think a dragon should be able to report me to Human Resources 1.3103 0.06397 87 66 15 6
1132 Dress for the position you want, they told me. 1.3103 0.05395 116 87 22 7
1133 We'll cross that moat when we get to it 1.3103 0.06397 87 66 15 6
1134 It can't be that dark, sir. 1.3103 0.05254 116 86 24 6
1135 Why do I always get put in charge of the hostile takeovers? 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
1136 No, its regular mail. not chain mail. 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
1137 I need these updated and back on my desk in a fortnight. 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
1138 This day is really dragon. 1.3097 0.05345 113 84 23 6
1139 It's the revised estimate for the repairs to the Drawbridge. 1.3095 0.05221 126 95 23 8
1140 Sir, it's time to meet the boss. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1141 We wish you every success and would like to thank you for your years of service. 1.3091 0.05883 110 85 16 9
1142 I guess I’m feeling a LITTLE anxious about coming back to work in person. 1.3091 0.05125 110 80 26 4
1143 Can you also shine armor? 1.3091 0.05739 110 84 18 8
1144 Can you bring me a black coffee please? And find the holy grail and serve it in that. 1.3091 0.05441 110 82 22 6
1145 I told you that you'd have to work knights this week 1.3089 0.05180 123 92 24 7
1146 I’m glad to be back at the office, too, Helen, but I’m not sure the Covid threat is behind us. 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
1147 The staff elected me to tell you...Medieval Friday is TOMORROW. 1.3085 0.06055 94 71 17 6
1148 I'll take this off as soon as you stop using Word 2003. 1.3085 0.05665 94 69 21 4
1149 This isn't a fort, knight. 1.3084 0.05541 107 80 21 6
1150 Yes, I am fully aware of the company's mask mandate policy. 1.3084 0.05379 107 79 23 5
1151 Isn’t it time you took a knight off? 1.3084 0.05379 107 79 23 5
1152 I know, but I'm accustomed to my mask outfits now. 1.3084 0.05541 107 80 21 6
1153 Let me guess: first night shift? 1.3084 0.06145 107 84 13 10
1154 That won't protect you from phishing attacks, you know. 1.3083 0.05525 120 92 19 9
1155 All cartoon editors start this way. 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1156 I see you're ready for us to bounce a few things off of you. 1.3077 0.05333 130 100 20 10
1157 Will Smith is here to see you, Chris 1.3077 0.05753 117 91 16 10
1158 It's for the medieval coronavirus variant 1.3077 0.06122 104 81 14 9
1159 So you’re telling me ‘thou’, ‘thee,’ and ‘thine’ are antiquated pronouns? 1.3077 0.05624 117 90 18 9
1160 No, we don't have a fax machine. What century do you live in? 1.3077 0.06385 91 70 14 7
1161 No , I said we need to increase out 'night' security. 1.3077 0.06122 104 81 14 9
1162 I’m the new freelancer. 1.3077 0.05355 117 88 22 7
1163 I don’t do windmills, sir. 1.3077 0.06190 91 69 16 6
1164 Can you call I.T.? I accidentally downloaded a plague. 1.3077 0.05479 104 77 22 5
1165 Is it just me,or is this place too modern for you? 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
1166 Bring me the Lancelot file. 1.3077 0.06573 91 71 12 8
1167 Dressing like an android will not protect you from being replaced by a robot. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1168 Is the bridge over the moat up or down today sir? 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1169 Are you willing to work knight shift? 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
1170 What is this? Chain mail? 1.3067 0.06288 75 55 17 3
1171 Yes, I do miss working from home. What makes you ask? 1.3067 0.06837 75 57 13 5
1172 I hope you feel that our office is a safe space. 1.3063 0.05399 111 83 22 6
1173 Have you had any damsel experience? 1.3061 0.06223 98 76 14 8
1174 Preparing for your performance review, Frank? 1.3061 0.05694 98 75 17 6
1175 We're back to casual Fridays, Carl. 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
1176 Would you have my horse braided with red pom-poms today? 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
1177 You're not getting what we do here at Under Armor, are you Frank? 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
1178 How do you think I broke the glass ceiling? 1.3058 0.05358 121 92 21 8
1179 New variant. 1.3056 0.05652 108 82 19 7
1180 No Stan, it is not business casual Elizabethan era day. 1.3056 0.05950 108 84 15 9
1181 I just feel safer with a mask on. 1.3053 0.06184 95 73 15 7
1182 I haven’t been vaccinated but I am well protected. Where is your mask? 1.3053 0.05810 95 71 19 5
1183 No, I'm not feeling insecure today. Why do you ask? 1.3053 0.06000 95 72 17 6
1184 As you can see, I’m extremely well-suited for the job. 1.3053 0.05614 95 70 21 4
1185 It's casual not castle Friday. 1.3049 0.06873 82 64 11 7
1186 I don't think you can see the big picture Mr. Smithers 1.3049 0.06873 82 64 11 7
1187 Welcome to Camelot, how may I help you? 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
1188 How do I know you're you? 1.3049 0.05673 82 59 21 2
1189 That is not a mask - it's a visor. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
1190 New security measures since Tom got hacked. 1.3049 0.06651 82 63 13 6
1191 I know switching careers is rough, but please stop referring to me as “My Liege” in meetings. 1.3048 0.05263 105 77 24 4
1192 It's called a hobby, Lisa. What have you been doing these last two years? 1.3048 0.05263 105 77 24 4
1193 And I thought I had a rough night 1.3048 0.05918 105 81 16 8
1194 I asked for a rounder desk. 1.3047 0.04778 128 94 29 5
1195 I can fit you in after my three o'clock with Will Smith. 1.3043 0.06324 92 71 14 7
1196 New cyber security vendor? 1.3043 0.06324 92 71 14 7
1197 The night shift doesn't require a uniform. 1.3043 0.05816 115 90 15 10
1198 'Now I think you're being silly.' 1.3043 0.05265 115 86 23 6
1199 The back stabbing around this place is serious. 1.3043 0.05934 92 69 18 5
1200 You don't seem to have any trebuchet experience. 1.3043 0.06132 92 70 16 6
1201 I’m due in court. 1.3043 0.05517 92 67 22 3
1202 It’s a harassment suit. 1.3043 0.06132 92 70 16 6
1203 In your case, maybe chivalry should stay dead. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
1204 Margaret, we're OK with the Iron Lady outfit, but you need to be oiled 1.3043 0.05548 115 88 19 8
1205 It's a takeover bid from Armour. 1.3039 0.05358 102 75 23 4
1206 I understand the virus is returning. 1.3039 0.05877 102 78 17 7
1207 I'm working the knight shift, now. 1.3039 0.05709 102 77 19 6
1208 All this because you spilled soup on your suit? 1.3039 0.06198 102 80 13 9
1209 Sir, it's a report on slings and arrows. 1.3039 0.05358 102 75 23 4
1210 No, this policy does not cover rust protection. 1.3036 0.05357 112 84 22 6
1211 Miss Smith could you find me a can opener. Thank you. 1.3034 0.05851 89 66 19 4
1212 What would you say is the most "adversarial situation" in your career to date? 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
1213 I never said I would work knights. 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
1214 I'm sorry Miss Jones, but we're looking for a more tradition-minded candidate. 1.3034 0.06272 89 68 15 6
1215 I need a squire, not a page. 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
1216 I'm sorry, I don't work knights. 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
1217 This covers the entire Greek alphabet of viruses. 1.3030 0.05459 99 73 22 4
1218 Steve, you’re being far too defensive about this. 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
1219 Lately, you seem more defensive. 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
1220 We've decided to let you return to working from home. 1.3026 0.07260 76 60 9 7
1221 How do you mean, 'a guarded personality'? 1.3026 0.07014 76 59 11 6
1222 As part of HR's "welcome back to the new you," we have three roles for women: peasant, artisan, and nun. Any of those sound good? 1.3026 0.07260 76 60 9 7
1223 My quill please! 1.3025 0.05000 119 88 26 5
1224 It’s the TIN95. Full body protection. 1.3023 0.05747 86 63 20 3
1225 Accounting has a few questions about your miscellaneous expenses. 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
1226 Yes I can work knights. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
1227 We’ll need a round table for the meeting. 1.3021 0.05155 96 69 25 2
1228 How did you get past the moat? 1.3019 0.05221 106 78 24 4
1229 It’s quite challenging with the elevator broken. 1.3019 0.05869 106 82 16 8
1230 I am ready for my Will Smith appointment. 1.3019 0.06020 106 83 14 9
1231 Our motto is “Chivalry is alive and well.” 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
1232 They eliminated the mask mandate in the office. I decided to go for maximum protection. 1.3017 0.04617 116 83 31 2
1233 It's nice to be back in the office, right? I didn't love being re-moat 1.3014 0.06948 73 56 12 5
1234 I'm going to need a sword and a stone. 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
1235 Your liege sir. Order in for lunch 1.3012 0.06353 83 63 15 5
1236 I dread to think what you will be wearing on casual friday. 1.3012 0.06580 83 64 13 6
1237 Would you like to take a knight on the town 1.3012 0.06800 83 65 11 7
1238 Well, they were out of N-95s. 1.3012 0.05872 83 61 19 3
1239 I decided on whimsical for my return to the work site. 1.3012 0.06353 83 63 15 5
1240 It's your defensiveness. 1.3012 0.06580 83 64 13 6
1241 I’m bald and prone to violence. 1.3011 0.05467 93 68 22 3
1242 Skip the formalities, just call me sir. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
1243 Here's the roundtable agenda. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
1244 Welcome to Lancelot Industries, Ms. Guinevere. We think you'll fit right in. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
1245 Well, most people just wear a mask & practice social distancing 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
1246 I like your new suit. 1.3010 0.04943 103 76 24 3
1247 Yeah, I don't think thats what the boss meant when he said we're "Going medieval on them". 1.3010 0.05314 103 76 23 4
1248 Can't we find a literate serf to do this? 1.3009 0.05463 113 86 20 7
1249 I´m adapting well, but I did feel more comfortable working the knight shift 1.3008 0.04608 123 89 31 3
1250 After working from home for months I feel a little rusty. 1.3008 0.05024 123 92 25 6
1251 What time is my meeting where I announce the salary cuts? 1.3000 0.06751 80 62 12 6
1252 Great, now put this on a scroll and shout it at me. 1.3000 0.06113 100 78 14 8
1253 Do you have any WD-40? 1.3000 0.05596 100 75 20 5
1254 I lost my tinfoil hat 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
1255 I dress like my contracts: ironclad. 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1256 Good morning good knight. 1.3000 0.05795 90 67 19 4
1257 I thought we weren’t wearing suits anymore 1.3000 0.06981 80 63 10 7
1258 I know we hired you as a crusading lawyer , but I'm afraid your jousting sticks are blocking the fire escape 1.3000 0.05239 120 91 22 7
1259 I'm sorry to have to tell you that your job is being outsourced to India. 1.3000 0.06751 80 62 12 6
1260 Consider this a warning,your hair violates our company dress code policy. 1.3000 0.06211 90 69 15 6
1261 Don't define me by my fender! 1.3000 0.06409 90 70 13 7
1262 'I saw Will Smith, BA2, Putin, Ginni Thomas, Ted Cruz, and all these other horrible things in the news and figured, what the hell?" 1.2992 0.05039 127 96 24 7
1263 I’m here to speak with the night manager 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
1264 so first my skirt is too short, now this is 'too much' ? 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
1265 Well then, Peg, assemble the oval table. 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
1266 You might want to google “metaphor” before it rains. 1.2990 0.06246 97 76 13 8
1267 HR said to tell you, Chivalry is dead. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
1268 Do you understand casual Friday? 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
1269 No, if we hire you, a mask will suffice 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
1270 Let me guess: You don't want to be judged by YOUR appearance? 1.2989 0.06356 87 67 14 6
1271 I'm ready for my meeting with Will Smith. 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
1272 Well Mr. Jones, a "steely disposition" is just a saying. 1.2987 0.06682 77 59 13 5
1273 He says he's here to apologize. Man up, Chris. 1.2984 0.04719 124 91 29 4
1274 You know I take my oaths very seriously. 1.2984 0.04856 124 92 27 5
1275 I have decided to bring the suit back to the office. 1.2982 0.05421 114 87 20 7
1276 I was wondering if you happen to have a can opener in your desk drawer. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1277 I do my best work at knight. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
1278 I've worked in Human Resources for thirty years. Why do you ask? 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
1279 I know you've been here forever, Lance, but the company is modernizing. We need someone to protect us against cyber attacks. 1.2979 0.05202 94 68 24 2
1280 After two weeks' sick leave? The smart money is saying you got a suntan in there. 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
1281 A nonfat 3 pump vanilla latte, a nonfat 3 pump vanilla latte, my kingdom for a nonfat 3 pump vanilla latte! 1.2976 0.06287 84 66 12 6
1282 I spend the morning slaying the office dragon and you couldn't even grab me a latte? 1.2976 0.06511 84 65 13 6
1283 The role of damsel has been Eliminated. 1.2976 0.05813 84 62 19 3
1284 Are you okay with Medieval Mondays? 1.2976 0.06728 84 66 11 7
1285 Miss Guinevere, is it? As you can see, we take our branding seriously here at Bors, Galahad, & Percival. 1.2973 0.05519 111 85 19 7
1286 I can’t believe they put me on the knight shift! 1.2973 0.05368 111 84 21 6
1287 I’m sorry you can’t drink coffee. 1.2970 0.05724 101 77 18 6
1288 For the umpteenth time, my name is not Guinevere. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
1289 Didn't you get the memo? It says we should prepare ourselves for a hostile takeover. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
1290 The Alibaba Travel Agency called. Your Crusade has been canceled. 1.2967 0.06536 91 72 11 8
1291 The table in the conference room is more of an oval. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
1292 What's important is that I look the part. 1.2966 0.05150 118 89 23 6
1293 I don't remember making this many charges. 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
1294 I see you’ve been reading about the new Covid variant. 1.2963 0.06677 81 63 12 6
1295 We’re ALL afraid of Covid! 1.2963 0.06197 81 61 16 4
1296 As the scrolls outline, the catapult is a capital expense while beheadings are entertainment write-offs. 1.2963 0.06904 81 64 10 7
1297 My first assignment would be to make it into SHINING armor. 1.2960 0.05208 125 98 18 9
1298 Any updates on the moat permit? 1.2959 0.05468 98 73 21 4
1299 Some of the staff are questioning whether you're a team player. 1.2959 0.05657 98 74 19 5
1300 Faxing this seems a bit archaic... doesn't it? 1.2959 0.05272 98 72 23 3
1301 Yes, you wanted to talk about my open-door policy... 1.2959 0.06190 98 77 13 8
1302 Approachable vibe, Chris? 1.2959 0.05657 98 74 19 5
1303 The dragon will see you now. 1.2959 0.05468 98 73 21 4
1304 I could use some help reading this. 1.2958 0.06467 71 53 15 3
1305 On your way back, if you don't mind, I have a couple suits at the cleaners. 1.2958 0.06771 71 54 13 4
1306 If you want this job, you have to be willing to work the knight shift. 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
1307 My balls are really sweaty in here! 1.2955 0.06497 88 69 12 7
1308 No, I can't take on more work. I'm already working knights. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
1309 Yeah, I can’t wait to see you in GI Jane, too. 1.2955 0.05349 132 104 17 11
1310 I'm not looking for my knight in shining armor, I'm just here to pick up my paycheck. 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
1311 The 2022 plan is bullet proof Karen 1.2952 0.05567 105 80 19 6
1312 There is an elderly man here to see you claiming you have his sword. 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
1313 Just getting ready for the budget meeting! 1.2952 0.05228 105 81 19 5
1314 I see you opted out of the group health care. 1.2952 0.05730 105 81 17 7
1315 While I'm cool with the armor I thought the moat and portcullis a bit much. 1.2949 0.06854 78 61 11 6
1316 Did you say you’re fortified or 45? 1.2949 0.07093 78 62 9 7
1317 It's a memo from HR again, complaining my skirt is too short. 1.2949 0.06607 78 60 13 5
1318 Can I do this tomorrow? I’ve got to get home before it rains. 1.2949 0.06082 78 58 17 3
1319 I've worked my way up from the mail department. 1.2949 0.06607 78 60 13 5
1320 Your resume seems to be a little outdated. 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
1321 I feel like I've been kept in the dark about this. 1.2947 0.05370 95 70 22 3
1322 Don't "good knight" me 1.2946 0.05476 112 86 19 7
1323 As a sister, I'm telling you, you can never let your guard down in this office. 1.2946 0.05476 112 86 19 7
1324 I figure I’ll wear it until the Omicron wave subsides. 1.2946 0.05174 112 84 23 5
1325 I see you have requested a transfer to the knight shift. 1.2946 0.05476 112 86 19 7
1326 I'm afraid of paper cuts. 1.2941 0.05501 102 77 20 5
1327 Miss Brookes, can you see if we have a round table? 1.2941 0.05126 136 106 20 10
1328 Bad night? 1.2941 0.06223 85 65 15 5
1329 It says here, 'short hand'... the result of a sword fight, I presume? 1.2941 0.06223 85 65 15 5
1330 It's in case you're here to slap me. 1.2941 0.06223 85 65 15 5
1331 Give me a minute. I’m almost done reenacting this report. 1.2941 0.05113 119 90 23 6
1332 I'm from the diversity and inclusion department. Could you at least provide me your gender? 1.2941 0.05322 102 76 22 4
1333 I said crunch the numbers, not slay them" 1.2941 0.05113 119 90 23 6
1334 The dress code memo recommends suites of Armani, as in Giorgio Armani. 1.2941 0.06223 85 65 15 5
1335 I don't see any experience jousting on your resume. 1.2941 0.05755 85 63 19 3
1336 I'm ready for your daily sarcastic comments now. 1.2941 0.05501 102 77 20 5
1337 Yes, it is a hostile take-over, but public relations has suggested that you dial it down a notch. 1.2941 0.06223 85 65 15 5
1338 Refresh me on these figures, I'm a bit rusty. 1.2941 0.06223 85 65 15 5
1339 So, management's pushing today's siege to 12:30. Should we order sandwiches? 1.2941 0.05501 102 77 20 5
1340 Schedule me for my sixth booster. 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1341 Take your best shot. 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1342 Pam, We're going to have to denote you to pawn. 1.2936 0.04929 109 80 26 3
1343 Fire breathing dragon on line 2 for you. 1.2936 0.05576 109 84 18 7
1344 I have to tell you that the constant clanking is getting on everyone's nerves. 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
1345 The magickal Windows hath quilled thy MapQuest, milady. 1.2936 0.05873 109 86 14 9
1346 Sir, no one is trying to unseat you. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
1347 Prithee, tell my liege the Peterson report shall be ready anon. This I pledge. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
1348 NO! I said we pay time and a half for working nights. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
1349 It's all about a seat at the table. 1.2929 0.05227 99 73 23 3
1350 Just getting ready for Return to Office next week 1.2929 0.05964 99 77 15 7
1351 What's a five-letter word for chalice? 1.2929 0.05607 99 75 19 5
1352 I’m looking for vertical movement, my last job ended in a stalemate. 1.2929 0.05607 99 75 19 5
1353 You must be jousting. 1.2929 0.05420 99 74 21 4
1354 My last job had more adventure. 1.2929 0.05607 99 75 19 5
1355 Let me tell you about hostile work environments. 1.2927 0.06373 82 63 14 5
1356 Its called an Oxford comma! What are we, barbarians? 1.2927 0.06605 82 64 12 6
1357 Very impressive. But how is your swordsmanship? 1.2927 0.06373 82 63 14 5
1358 Sir, the Smithson letter is ready for your signature. Quill or stylus? 1.2927 0.06605 82 64 12 6
1359 Good night, Sir. Keep your guard up. 1.2927 0.06605 82 64 12 6
1360 My performance review is in twenty minutes, why do you ask? 1.2921 0.06231 89 69 14 6
1361 I’m ready now. Send her in. 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
1362 Steel yourself for bad news. 1.2921 0.06432 89 70 12 7
1363 I know it worked in the past but it won’t protect from today’s slings and arrows. 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
1364 I refer to our dress code as old fashioned, not medieval. 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
1365 The Board is waiting for you. sir. 1.2920 0.05286 113 86 21 6
1366 Some of the staff have found it difficult to relate to you 1.2917 0.06689 72 55 13 4
1367 Your annual review will be a trial by combat. 1.2917 0.05908 96 74 16 6
1368 The repair shop just called to let you know that your lance is ready. 1.2917 0.05719 96 73 18 5
1369 And what would you say is your strong suit? 1.2917 0.05719 96 73 18 5
1370 Why am I always the one asked to get supplies from the closet with the fire breathing dragon guarding it? 1.2917 0.07251 72 57 9 6
1371 I see your wife finally ironed your suit. 1.2917 0.06976 72 56 11 5
1372 Your father will see you now, Mr. Roy 1.2917 0.05112 96 70 24 2
1373 I thought you should know. I'm not wearing anything under my armor. 1.2917 0.05601 120 95 15 10
1374 Will Smith is here for your 9 am" 1.2917 0.06268 96 76 12 8
1375 Sir, I think thick skin will suffice. 1.2917 0.07251 72 57 9 6
1376 My kingdom for a day without meetings! 1.2917 0.05719 96 73 18 5
1377 Turns out, the Holy Grail was a 9-to-5 with healthcare and covered parking! 1.2917 0.05719 96 73 18 5
1378 There's a Lance here to see you. 1.2917 0.05322 96 71 22 3
1379 Yes, I''ll be wearing this outfit until I finish downsizing the company. 1.2913 0.04624 127 94 29 4
1380 I just started on the Knight shift! 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
1381 I’m afraid my evaluation of your performance reflects your ongoing struggles with courtliness. 1.2913 0.05278 103 77 22 4
1382 Mr. Smith to see you again, Sir. I believe you're expecting him? 1.2913 0.05793 103 80 16 7
1383 You're being transferred to Jousting. I assume you have a lance. 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
1384 Just FYI, Lance, we’ve gone mask optional. 1.2911 0.06280 79 60 15 4
1385 Great resume, but have you seen Excalibur? 1.2911 0.06534 79 61 13 5
1386 Welcome to "Game of Swivel Chairs." 1.2911 0.06534 79 61 13 5
1387 The price of rivets keep going up 1.2911 0.05740 79 58 19 2
1388 Actually no. Not when it rains 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1389 It’s an iron clad contract. 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1390 It's either this or a 4th booster shot. 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1391 Preparing to foreclose on another castle, sir? 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1392 Say it again! 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1393 The new dress code says "business suit." This is my clever protest. 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
1394 Your quest, if you choose to accept it, is to find the one true binder. 1.2907 0.06589 86 68 11 7
1395 Your sword is ready, but they said you'll have to pick it up yourself." 1.2907 0.06589 86 68 11 7
1396 I think we had differing interpretations of you working nights. 1.2903 0.06226 93 73 13 7
1397 What is my secret? I've got two raises ever since they don't know I am a woman. 1.2903 0.06226 93 73 13 7
1398 I’m on a different kind of Crusade, that’s all. 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
1399 Lately, I've decided to embrace my role in life as a middle aged man. 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
1400 Do you always put two spaces between sentences? 1.2903 0.06226 93 73 13 7
1401 It's chain mail. 1.2903 0.05423 93 69 21 3
1402 I worked my way up from the Mail Room. 1.2900 0.05738 100 77 17 6
1403 I started out as a freelancer. 1.2900 0.05183 100 74 23 3
1404 Not what they meant by the night shift. 1.2900 0.05559 100 76 19 5
1405 Mr. Johnson, that is not what we meant by working nights. 1.2900 0.05738 100 77 17 6
1406 I, too, find this a hostile work environment. 1.2900 0.05738 100 77 17 6
1407 Simmons from the front desk just called up. He said some guy dressed up like the Lone Ranger just rode off on your horse. 1.2900 0.05374 100 75 21 4
1408 You're giving me a warning for wearing a suit on dress-down Friday? 1.2899 0.07753 69 56 6 7
1409 I understand your fear of retaliation, Ms Murphy, but at some point it really is simpler and easier to just report him to HR. 1.2895 0.06706 76 59 12 5
1410 Raise the cubicle tithe 15%. 1.2895 0.05246 114 87 21 6
1411 I'm sorry, boss. I'm a little rusty. 1.2895 0.05392 114 88 19 7
1412 Linda, all I can tell you is, make sure you read the entire sexual harassment policy. 1.2895 0.06706 76 59 12 5
1413 I don't want to give anybody my killer cold. 1.2892 0.05821 83 62 18 3
1414 Susan, this report is a Knightmare. 1.2892 0.06306 83 64 14 5
1415 No, Harold. Our HR policy expressly forbids chain mail texts. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
1416 Suit yourself. 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
1417 This isn’t working the night shift means, Todd. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
1418 I think we'd be more comfortable if you sat and I stood. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
1419 We seem to be out of sealing wax 1.2889 0.06369 90 71 12 7
1420 I'm actually a nudist, but I'm trying to be accommodating since it's my first day. 1.2889 0.06369 90 71 12 7
1421 Regardless of your quest, I'll still need the Richard's proposal by the end of the day. 1.2887 0.06381 97 78 10 9
1422 Aren't you a little overprotected? 1.2887 0.05668 97 74 18 5
1423 I have to present at the Oscars 1.2887 0.05475 97 73 20 4
1424 Still unvaccinated and expecting a silver bullet, Sir? 1.2887 0.05668 97 74 18 5
1425 Email chains will henceforth be known as chainmail. 1.2887 0.05276 97 72 22 3
1426 I’m being groomed for Tax Collector. 1.2883 0.05488 111 86 18 7
1427 Great to be back in the office face to face! 1.2883 0.05337 111 85 20 6
1428 It's not a violation of the dress code. It's your clanking around. 1.2879 0.07406 66 52 9 5
1429 «May I help you, Sir?» 1.2877 0.06891 73 57 11 5
1430 Safety first. 1.2877 0.06609 73 56 13 4
1431 Hello…Hello…is anyone in there? 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
1432 I appreciate the valiant effort to secure a round desk. 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
1433 Any other work experience besides watching Castle on TV?" 1.2875 0.05680 80 59 19 2
1434 I ran out of N95s. 1.2875 0.06212 80 61 15 4
1435 Chris? Chris Rock? 1.2875 0.06934 80 64 9 7
1436 Yes. I do work in HR. How could you tell? 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
1437 I’m covering the knight shift 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
1438 I told them when I took this job; I don't work knights. 1.2874 0.06521 87 69 11 7
1439 All in a knight's work 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
1440 Because I heard you were in distress, madam. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
1441 I got a meeting with Wil Smith later. 1.2874 0.06521 87 69 11 7
1442 Trying to bring “chivalry” back? 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
1443 I said send an email, not chain mail. 1.2872 0.05583 94 71 19 4
1444 That Arthurian variant of Covid that you read about on the Internet might just be a hoax. 1.2872 0.05978 94 73 15 6
1445 It's ironclad. 1.2872 0.05978 94 73 15 6
1446 Chill, it’s Firmware Friday! 1.2872 0.05374 94 70 21 3
1447 I'd be more comfortable working from home at my round table. 1.2872 0.05157 94 69 23 2
1448 Our policy is ironclad 1.2872 0.04930 94 68 25 1
1449 Your job is to be the human face. 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
1450 Grimes and Smolovitz in marketing wanted you to know they will be storming the castle from home today,sir. 1.2871 0.06188 101 81 11 9
1451 It's ok Chris, I told him you weren't here 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
1452 Can I borrow your pen? I left mine in my shirt pocket. 1.2871 0.04943 101 74 25 2
1453 I do not understand why Human Resources needs to speak with me in private. 1.2871 0.05328 101 76 21 4
1454 This is not a good day to ask for a raise. 1.2871 0.05328 101 76 21 4
1455 It would be easier if you could just develop some thick skin, sir, for your peer evaluation. 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
1456 There's an all-hands joust at 3:00. 1.2870 0.04904 115 86 25 4
1457 I'm sorry but we're looking for someone with jousting experience. 1.2870 0.05057 115 87 23 5
1458 Would you say that’s one of your strong suits? 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
1459 There is no such thing as a 'moat point' 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
1460 Welcome to Armor All. 1.2857 0.05618 98 75 18 5
1461 Too many Karens. 1.2857 0.05618 98 75 18 5
1462 Under dragon slaying skills you put none. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
1463 Welcome to the mail room. 1.2857 0.05802 98 76 16 6
1464 I get being careful, but tell me again how you get through the airport TSA check. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1465 Just where did you read these CDC recommendations? 1.2857 0.04982 112 87 20 5
1466 Your three o’clock joust called. They’ll be a few minutes late. 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
1467 I've armored up for Monday 1.2857 0.06629 77 60 12 5
1468 Kent asked me to lead a hostile takeover 1.2857 0.06091 77 58 16 3
1469 So they haven't lifted the mandate yet from the plague ? 1.2857 0.06629 77 60 12 5
1470 I just don't think you're cut out for the knight shift 1.2857 0.05733 112 89 14 9
1471 Got stuck with the knight shift, huh? 1.2857 0.06895 84 68 8 8
1472 Sir, If you want my advice, I wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole. 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
1473 It’s an inquiry Nick, not a siege. 1.2857 0.06091 77 58 16 3
1474 It’s a fax from Ted about a duel. 1.2857 0.05507 84 62 20 2
1475 I'm Sorry, Mr. Galahad, Sir, but this job is way too weighty. When you put me in charge of the mail, I had no idea you mean chain mail. 1.2857 0.05295 112 86 20 6
1476 I'm sorry, but your position has become obsolete. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1477 Leaving early? 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
1478 We can't be too careful. I'm also wearing an N95 under this 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
1479 Can you read this for me? I can’t see a thing. 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
1480 I have to tell HR that I see your sword poking out. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1481 Should I bring in this morning's gauntlets? 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
1482 We'll have to take them to court. 1.2857 0.05618 98 75 18 5
1483 I take my fragile masculinity seriously 1.2857 0.05855 105 83 14 8
1484 Sorry, but I'm fully committed to my own lists. 1.2857 0.05618 98 75 18 5
1485 It's only a bother when I have to go to the bathroom. 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
1486 Don’t you think you’re taking the mask mandate a bit too far? 1.2857 0.05696 105 82 16 7
1487 The office staff wanted you to know that your armor no longer shines. 1.2857 0.06091 77 58 16 3
1488 I wish I could approve your request, but HR has me under siege. 1.2857 0.06091 77 58 16 3
1489 We're looking for someone with thick skin. 1.2857 0.05141 112 85 22 5
1490 I don't care if you are wearing full body armor, I am still not wearing a stupid mask. 1.2847 0.05378 137 111 13 13
1491 Have a good knight, Fred. 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
1492 I warned HR that if I didn't get time off I was liable to go medieval! 1.2846 0.05230 123 96 19 8
1493 Is that your idea of post-pandemic casual? 1.2844 0.05229 109 83 21 5
1494 I packed your good armor, and the airport steed is waiting. 1.2844 0.05842 109 87 13 9
1495 There was a typo in the job description. It said medieval instead mid-level executive. 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1496 Insurance doesn't cover broken bones. 1.2843 0.06133 102 82 11 9
1497 You will joust with Wilkins from human resources at 2pm sir. 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
1498 Ma'am this is not what we meant by 'freelance experience 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
1499 I have the Knights of Columbus variant. 1.2841 0.06455 88 70 11 7
1500 The Holy Grail will have to wait, I'll be in bookkeeping the rest of the afternoon. 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
1501 I have to protect myself from those students who got failing grades. 1.2841 0.06455 88 70 11 7
1502 Any jousting experience? 1.2841 0.06654 88 71 9 8
1503 Expecting a rough campaign? 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
1504 Oh, you said there was a formal re-quest. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
1505 I'm afraid to ask what you did with your horse. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
1506 Shield my calls. 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
1507 Pardon me, I thought you said chain mail, not chain letter. 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
1508 If you were at the PTA meeting, you'd understand. 1.2840 0.06628 81 64 11 6
1509 Where is the round table?" 1.2840 0.06391 81 63 13 5
1510 I assure you, this is no “fly-by-knight” company. 1.2840 0.06628 81 64 11 6
1511 Of course I work at night; otherwise I'd be called a kday. 1.2840 0.06628 81 64 11 6
1512 No,I wouldn't say it's a hostile work environment. 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
1513 This is way past the deadline 1.2840 0.05620 81 60 19 2
1514 This looks like an ironclad agreement! 1.2840 0.07079 81 66 7 8
1515 The shop called. Your suit's ready. 1.2840 0.05889 81 61 17 3
1516 Bob, you seemed a bit defensive in the meeting. 1.2838 0.06531 74 57 13 4
1517 It was hard being the only one of us here. 1.2833 0.05046 120 92 22 6
1518 Trust me, this contract is ironclad. 1.2832 0.05254 113 87 20 6
1519 Why no, Ms. Hinkel. I wasn't aware of a dress code. 1.2832 0.04944 113 85 24 4
1520 Your sword is at the cleaners, the goblets have arrived, the round table is backordered and the stockholders in Sherwood are getting impatient. 1.2832 0.05254 113 87 20 6
1521 Where's your suit? This isn't an ironclad agreement. And don't pay any attention to the guy hovering out the side window. 1.2832 0.05547 113 89 16 8
1522 You’ll just have to hold down the fort - I’m not sure when I’ll be back. 1.2832 0.05547 113 89 16 8
1523 Let’s schedule a round table discussion. 1.2832 0.04782 113 84 26 3
1524 I didn't realize that this is what you meant when you said you enjoy heavy metal 1.2830 0.05648 106 83 16 7
1525 I believe they have eliminated the masking policy, sir. 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1526 Look, we all hate the open office concept, but wait for casual Friday. 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1527 You left your tankard in the knaves’ break-room. 1.2830 0.05487 106 82 18 6
1528 You may be freelance, but lances aren't free. 1.2828 0.06427 99 81 8 10
1529 Perhaps you haven't read the memo about our dress code. 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
1530 I'm afraid your armor isn't shiny enough! 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
1531 I see you have considerable mediation experience. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
1532 From now on everything will be ironclad 1.2824 0.05189 85 62 22 1
1533 Are we jousting today or doing dictation? 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
1534 HR should’ve explained you’d be working the knight shift. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
1535 You cover the phone complaints and I’ll take on the walk-ins. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
1536 No, annual reviews are next week. 1.2821 0.04677 117 87 27 3
1537 Barista true, vouchsafe to grant one cup of that sustaining brew ? 1.2821 0.05802 117 95 11 11
1538 Can you believe it? 25 years and they want an Oath of Fealty. I'll need a notary public and a horse. 1.2821 0.07043 78 63 8 7
1539 I want an iron-clad agreement, 1.2821 0.06024 78 59 16 3
1540 The agency did mention something about "a unique dress code" 1.2821 0.06554 78 61 12 5
1541 What are you looking at? I am a free lancer. 1.2821 0.06803 78 62 10 6
1542 Didn't you read the email saying to be prepared for a hostile takeover? 1.2821 0.06554 78 61 12 5
1543 Rough night? 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
1544 I talked to my husband, he promises not to slap you again. 1.2821 0.06554 78 61 12 5
1545 They can force me to come in, but they can’t force me to come out.” 1.2818 0.04855 110 82 25 3
1546 Will Smith is my 3 o'clock. 1.2817 0.07002 71 56 10 5
1547 I told you our processes were a bit medieval. 1.2816 0.04862 103 76 25 2
1548 The package might take awhile. They've discontinued knight delivery. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1549 This is a chain letter. I told you to get me some chain mail. 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1550 I think you've misunderstood the concept of night shift. 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
1551 I needed this ages ago. 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
1552 Well, Janine, you know what they say: dress for the job you want not the job you have. 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
1553 May I assume you are anti-vaccination? 1.2812 0.05868 96 75 15 6
1554 But you said you were hiring me for the night shift. 1.2812 0.06052 96 76 13 7
1555 So that's a yes on you hosting the Oscars next year, Mr. Rock? 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
1556 I'm sorry, but HR wouldn't budge on getting you a round table. 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
1557 You thought a mask mandate was bad ... 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
1558 Your horse is double parked. 1.2809 0.05533 89 67 19 3
1559 No, I'm not interested in working the knight shift. 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
1560 "Your resume doesn't indicate here that you've been knighted, and this is a night job. 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
1561 I must bid you farewell, my steed is double parked. 1.2807 0.04746 114 88 22 4
1562 You need to understand that not all of our damsels are in distress. 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
1563 I know the future is now, but I just feel stuck in the past. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
1564 Quit frowning at me! 1.2805 0.05827 82 62 17 3
1565 Time for your Zoom call,sir. I need to bolt on your lapel mic. 1.2805 0.06322 82 64 13 5
1566 I’m sorry Lance, but HR have rejected your clothing allowance request. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
1567 Okay, I'm ready to announce the layoffs. 1.2805 0.06556 82 65 11 6
1568 And tell Jones I’ve become aware that he’s started referring to me as Sir Dance-a-lot. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
1569 They won’t fire me, Jan, I’m bulletproof. I may be an empty suit of armor, but I know all the right buzzwords. 1.2804 0.05602 107 84 16 7
1570 A protective suit doesn't make you a protected class. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1571 Corporate said act just like we're still at home and I'm not wearing pants. 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
1572 I don't know where your sword is, let me get you a pen. 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
1573 Yes, as always, the representations must be ironclad. 1.2800 0.04940 100 74 24 2
1574 As your attorney, I regret to inform you that "Knights of the Tax Table" is already a registered trademark. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1575 New CDC guidelines?? 1.2800 0.06990 75 60 9 6
1576 I see you've prepared for my exit interview. 1.2800 0.05700 100 78 16 6
1577 You know, sticks and stones --- 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
1578 Nice dragon work, Bev, but where are we on jousts and moats? 1.2796 0.05993 93 73 14 6
1579 It’s been a little tough around here lately… 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
1580 They only said that you seemed a little thin-skinned today. 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
1581 They said there is a new variant called the Plague. 1.2793 0.05604 111 88 15 8
1582 I'm sorry to tell you this Senator but a suit of Armor is NOT going to protect you from the angry crowd outside. 1.2793 0.05456 111 87 17 7
1583 At least this one starts with, 'Dear Sir.' 1.2793 0.04985 111 84 23 4
1584 Not another knight at the office. 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
1585 It's not you...your armor isn't shining. 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
1586 And why do you feel masks make our work place less friendly? 1.2791 0.04865 86 62 24 0
1587 Actually, finding you another tax deduction does make me your knight in shining armor! 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
1588 Yes, I received my copy of the Chivalric Code. I was asking about maternity leave. 1.2791 0.05398 86 64 20 2
1589 The office politics here are medieval. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
1590 The excel stuff is good, but I feel you lack experience in noble conquests. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
1591 Well, since you got past my moat you have two minutes to talk. 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
1592 Bad hair day again? 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
1593 So this is the safe working space? 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
1594 Great work but next time let’s round-table some of these ideas “ 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
1595 Revenue is way down, so you may need to return to business casual. 1.2785 0.05679 79 59 18 2
1596 Looks like another day of battling the creditors. 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
1597 Me too. Added bonus, with the visor I don't even have to hear how pretty I am when I smile. 1.2785 0.05679 79 59 18 2
1598 I know it’s a big change for me, but I guess I just finally realized that the pen is mightier than the sword. 1.2785 0.05679 79 59 18 2
1599 You can send Will Smith in now. 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
1600 I don't care what Dr. Fauci says, I plan to stay 100% fully protected no matter what 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
1601 I'm not taking any chances after what happened at the Oscars. 1.2785 0.06963 79 64 8 7
1602 It just says you got your Masters from Duke. Which One? 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
1603 This is your best offer? Shirley you joust. 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
1604 Well, for one, this is a desk; and two, it's the wrong shape 1.2784 0.04803 97 73 22 2
1605 My other suit's at the blacksmith. 1.2784 0.05997 97 77 13 7
1606 I'm sorry, but we've denied your request for a round table 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
1607 Sir Cole, your request for a round desk has been denied. 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
1608 Sorry, but I was looking for more of a Joan of Arc type 1.2784 0.05022 97 72 23 2
1609 Another variant of Covid is going around. 1.2783 0.05319 115 90 18 7
1610 What platform do I use to reserve a squire? 1.2778 0.06915 72 57 10 5
1611 I'm sorry but your employment here violates our medieval hiring policies. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
1612 You’ll be taking the knight shift. 1.2778 0.05235 108 83 20 5
1613 Where's the WD-40 I ordered? 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
1614 'I know you think my garb is ironic." 1.2778 0.06915 72 57 10 5
1615 Say good Knight, Gracie 1.2778 0.06126 90 71 13 6
1616 If it weren't for "Depends", I'd be immobilized by rust. 1.2778 0.04893 108 81 24 3
1617 You work for Amour you wear armor! 1.2778 0.06326 90 72 11 7
1618 HR says you win. You will get a cubicle. 1.2778 0.06126 90 71 13 6
1619 I had to call a taxi. Your horse was towed away. 1.2778 0.06326 90 72 11 7
1620 Our new masking protocols are meant to promote blind recruitment. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
1621 It says here that you're willing to start in the mail room. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
1622 Monday's are medieval in HR. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
1623 As I have previously explained, litigation is war. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1624 I love Medieval Mondays. Getting through security not so much. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1625 It's only until I find the Grail. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1626 Go ahead. Tell me. I can keep my trap shut. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1627 You misunderstood: today's dress codes is not "business castle." 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
1628 From Buckingham H.R. .. I’m now 2 days in the office, 3 days remote 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
1629 The malicious attack, was about protecting your computer.” 1.2771 0.05231 83 61 21 1
1630 They specifically said it was the knight shift. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
1631 And, of course, you'll be working in an undisclosed, securer location" 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
1632 Ralph, I didn't literally mean a knight in shining armor. Now please, get up from my desk. 1.2769 0.06761 65 50 12 3
1633 HR's reference to "Knight Shift" is either a typo or a prank, but I'm not taking any chances. 1.2768 0.05107 112 86 21 5
1634 I assure you, squire is an executive track position. 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
1635 On in five, Mr. Rock 1.2766 0.05327 94 71 20 3
1636 I see you are prepared to discuss your performance appraisal. 1.2766 0.05741 94 73 16 5
1637 You definitely chose the right suit for the budget meeting. 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
1638 You misspelled joust. 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
1639 I don’t care what the new, relaxed COVID guidelines say! 1.2762 0.05327 105 83 16 6
1640 Bob, I think you misunderstood when I asked you to work the night shift. 1.2762 0.05661 105 83 15 7
1641 I’m sorry I thought this was casual Friday! 1.2762 0.05496 105 82 17 6
1642 Who said anything about a hostile takeover? 1.2762 0.05496 105 82 17 6
1643 I work the knight shift. 1.2759 0.06266 87 69 12 6
1644 The Dragon of Accounting is here to tell you cannot use that suit as an expense! 1.2759 0.06049 87 68 14 5
1645 I specifically asked for a round desk 1.2759 0.06049 87 68 14 5
1646 I see you're asking to switch from the knight shift. 1.2759 0.06049 87 68 14 5
1647 Is my summer armor back from the cleaners? 1.2759 0.06049 87 68 14 5
1648 It feels like centuries since we've been back at the office. 1.2759 0.05824 87 67 16 4
1649 This is a chain letter, I asked for my mail. 1.2759 0.06266 87 69 12 6
1650 Another petition to update our dress code? 1.2759 0.06049 87 68 14 5
1651 how do you walk in those," they both said simultaneously to each other 1.2755 0.05942 98 78 13 7
1652 Drawbridge still stuck, huh? 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
1653 I'm just not sure you're qualified for a super visor role... 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1654 I slay dragons on Thursday nights with my kickball team. 1.2755 0.05942 98 78 13 7
1655 I take it you're the one who called the EEOC. 1.2754 0.06811 69 54 11 4
1656 Why do you recommend taking out my term "crusade" from our future projections? 1.2754 0.06491 69 53 13 3
1657 This is fine, but I'll need it in Middle English for the round table. 1.2752 0.05662 109 87 14 8
1658 Does this make me look fat? 1.2752 0.05027 109 83 22 4
1659 We can't ask about personal matters, but most of our employees are middle-aged. 1.2752 0.04676 109 81 26 2
1660 The new variant’s spike protein is apparently really sharp. 1.2750 0.05329 80 59 20 1
1661 You’re a bean counter, not a defender of the universe. 1.2750 0.06156 80 62 14 4
1662 Oh, fuck! 1.2750 0.06408 80 63 12 5
1663 Yes of course we rescue trans-damsels. Just who do they think we are? 1.2750 0.06408 80 63 12 5
1664 Just wanted to be ready in case Will Smith shows up. 1.2750 0.06408 80 63 12 5
1665 HR said the job required a suit. 1.2750 0.05618 80 60 18 2
1666 I may not be your knight in shining armor, but I must be somebodys 1.2750 0.06156 80 62 14 4
1667 There are three damsels in distress in reception and one dragon flaming out. Who shall I send in first? 1.2750 0.06650 80 64 10 6
1668 I forgot to do laundry 1.2747 0.05428 91 69 19 3
1669 Between airborne viruses, workplace violence and sexual harassment, I decided this is probably my best option. 1.2747 0.06264 91 73 11 7
1670 It's all in a knight's work. 1.2747 0.06066 91 72 13 6
1671 You have to stop CCing me on chainmail. 1.2747 0.05649 91 70 17 4
1672 Oh please, you don’t have to call me sir. 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
1673 Uh, no, I know nothing about these moat expenses. 1.2747 0.06066 91 72 13 6
1674 I demand an ironclad guarantee! 1.2747 0.06264 91 73 11 7
1675 Yes, I saw the article. They're trying to paint me as medieval. It's just the world we live in now... 1.2747 0.05198 91 68 21 2
1676 The original Steel Dossier 1.2747 0.06066 91 72 13 6
1677 Didn’t you get the memo? We now have casual Fridays and Medieval Mondays. 1.2747 0.05649 91 70 17 4
1678 I've always been a Knights fan. My dad was a Knights fan. 1.2745 0.05601 102 80 16 6
1679 We ride at dawn. Of course, overtime will be involved. 1.2745 0.05242 102 78 20 4
1680 I don't know boss, but getting a vaccine might be a better idea 1.2745 0.05242 102 78 20 4
1681 ...and who ordered the rectangular table for the conference room? 1.2742 0.07333 62 49 9 4
1682 How many times must I tell you there’s no need to work all night? 1.2742 0.06573 62 47 13 2
1683 I'm looking for someone with more of a background in pillaging and marauding. 1.2740 0.05936 73 55 16 2
1684 You make hybrid work look so easy. 1.2740 0.06830 73 58 10 5
1685 I hear you're into Heavy Metal Mr. Smith.. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
1686 What? It’s a suit. 1.2738 0.05179 84 62 21 1
1687 Another bad hair day,Mrs. Wilson? 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
1688 What glass ceiling? 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
1689 I appreciate that you’re prepared to lay down your life for me, but you still need to use spell check. 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
1690 The Queen asked me to remind you it is a figure of speech. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
1691 Dress for the job you want, not the one you have. 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
1692 I feel like you're getting a little defensive. 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
1693 I know the mandate's been lifted, but I like to play it safe. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
1694 Susan, cancel my 8:00 joust tomorrow morning- I have a date with that fair maiden from accounting and I plan on getting quite unchivalrous. 1.2737 0.06068 95 76 12 7
1695 Any experience being in distress? 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
1696 It's my new subway wear. It stops knives and bullets...And no need to wear a mask. 1.2736 0.05283 106 82 19 5
1697 It's just that I prefer a round table. 1.2736 0.05925 106 86 11 9
1698 Word is you've been lancing a lot around here lately... 1.2736 0.05283 106 82 19 5
1699 Yes sir, I'm positive being in stocks is a good thing. 1.2736 0.05283 106 82 19 5
1700 Yes, you've come to the right department, but we have no mail today. 1.2736 0.04931 106 80 23 3
1701 I have a hard time believing you’ve slain five dragons. 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
1702 Can you make twelve copies and place them on the Round Table? 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1703 I find it keeps people from making sexist comments 1.2727 0.06572 77 61 11 5
1704 For last weeks casual Friday, I wore a bunny suit. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1705 I thought writers were thick-skinned but I think you're overdoing it. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
1706 I see you're not wearing a mask 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1707 At this point, riding a horse is cheaper than driving. 1.2727 0.06827 77 62 9 6
1708 Would you have any problem working knights? 1.2727 0.05888 99 79 13 7
1709 You may be in the Dark Ages, but I'm not having it. 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
1710 I’m done being a corporate pawn. 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
1711 Hope there's no line for the men's bathroom! 1.2727 0.06572 77 61 11 5
1712 To be honest, sir, I was expecting a round table. 1.2727 0.06306 77 60 13 4
1713 Miss Jones, take an epistle." 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
1714 We’re cutting armor shine out of the budget. 1.2727 0.05888 99 79 13 7
1715 Well, you mentioned in your resume that you were comfortable working night shifts. 1.2727 0.05888 99 79 13 7
1716 I've had enough of your castles in the air attitude 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1717 That was night shift with an “N,” Bob. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1718 Rumor is you were hired because you're a veteran. 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1719 Impressive, but I'm looking for someone who slays. 1.2718 0.05378 103 80 18 5
1720 I feel my position is in danger right now. 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
1721 This was the only mask I had. I would have looked silly if I wore it without the rest of the suit. 1.2717 0.05150 92 69 21 2
1722 Not everyone likes working the knight shift. 1.2717 0.06202 92 74 11 7
1723 Why aren’t you ready? We’re storming the board meeting at two. 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
1724 I tip my helmet for your choice of office power avatar Gerry. 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1725 We're expecting a hostile takeover bid. 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1726 I think you might be a bit confused about the night shift... 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
1727 That’s only five feet. 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
1728 You know I was up for that promotion, why are you jousting me? 1.2716 0.06576 81 65 10 6
1729 Are you wearing Arm and Hammer? 1.2716 0.06576 81 65 10 6
1730 No, seriously, this is the only suit I own. 1.2716 0.05559 81 61 18 2
1731 How's your crusade against casual Friday's going? 1.2716 0.06576 81 65 10 6
1732 We'll be sure to discuss your qualifications at our next Round Table. 1.2716 0.06576 81 65 10 6
1733 No, no…today’s negotiation may involve VERBAL jousting. 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
1734 Don't point that thing at me! 1.2714 0.07026 70 56 9 5
1735 I don’t think you’re suited for this job. You can’t tell clients their mother was a hamster. 1.2712 0.04763 118 99 12 7
1736 Yeah I just transferred from the Lands Between branch. The bosses there were so difficult. 1.2710 0.05405 107 84 17 6
1737 We promoted you to Night manager, Harold--not Knight manager. Now go change out of that before someone thinks they can take your promotion by killing you in a duel. 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
1738 I could really use another flagon of mead before I have to joust with the I.T. guy. 1.2710 0.05566 107 85 15 7
1739 Can you write these memos in Middle English? 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
1740 I heard chivalry was dead 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
1741 I thought you were on the night shift. 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1742 You try working in H.R. 1.2708 0.06012 96 77 12 7
1743 I think you are taking this night shift thing a little too far. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
1744 Yea, you’re probably right. I overdid the COVID-protective thing! 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
1745 I’m gonna get medieval on your ass. 1.2706 0.05394 85 64 19 2
1746 Well yes now that it’s written I can see there’s no K in night shift 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
1747 Truthfully, I prefer working the night shift. 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
1748 George, the masking mandate has ended. You can take off your helmet 1.2706 0.05128 85 63 21 1
1749 As CEO and Chairman, I warned you I’d be taking on a duel role here. 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
1750 Actually my friends call me Steely Dan! Not Sir! 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
1751 At first, because the N95 gave me a rash. Now, it's just a habit. 1.2706 0.06348 85 68 11 6
1752 I see the paper's hired a knight editor. 1.2703 0.06747 74 59 10 5
1753 I'm sorry, Repunzel. It's the hair. 1.2703 0.06174 74 57 14 3
1754 How you dress is up to you, but HR ruled you have to leave your lances at home. 1.2703 0.06747 74 59 10 5
1755 So find a place that does give a straw! 1.2703 0.07016 74 60 8 6
1756 Here is your polishing cloth bill for the month, sir. 1.2703 0.05867 74 56 16 2
1757 Boss, I see you’re ready for this sixth Omicron variant! 1.2703 0.05867 74 56 16 2
1758 Surfing for serfs again lance 1.2703 0.06747 74 59 10 5
1759 Great resume, I'd love to hire you; can you work knight shift? 1.2700 0.05096 100 76 21 3
1760 Not another law suit. 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
1761 I lost my mask. 1.2700 0.05478 100 78 17 5
1762 Sir, you mistook the memo, Medieval Friday was only a jest! 1.2698 0.07575 63 51 7 5
1763 Show the damsel in 1.2697 0.04993 89 66 22 1
1764 They hired me to bring back a touch of the Old School qualities. 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
1765 You really should dress for the job you want. 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
1766 Enough about me. How was your weekend? 1.2697 0.06345 89 72 10 7
1767 Well since you got across the moat ... Then you're the kind of shark this firms been looking for! 1.2697 0.05243 89 67 20 2
1768 Just a reminder from HR. Basically it suggests not to assume you can wear the same attire here, as you may have become used to, while working from home. 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
1769 Find everything I need to know about the Bubonic variant of concern! 1.2697 0.06140 89 71 12 6
1770 Echo? What echo? 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
1771 They didn’t approve my transfer. Says I’m not properly suited for the job. 1.2697 0.05243 89 67 20 2
1772 If I have to return to the office. 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
1773 The dress code is pretty loose. I use a lot of oil. 1.2697 0.06140 89 71 12 6
1774 The CDC says you don't need that anymore. 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1775 I’ll need a horse, a lance, and a damn good business plan. 1.2692 0.05676 78 59 17 2
1776 No, Will Smith is not in the building. 1.2692 0.05834 104 84 12 8
1777 I’m beginning to sense a combative tone in your voice, Ms. Wilkins! 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
1778 Shall I hold your mail? 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
1779 You're scaring the clients. 1.2692 0.06496 78 62 11 5
1780 Please bring me the Camelot file 1.2692 0.06235 78 61 13 4
1781 When we asked if you could work nights, this isn't what we meant. 1.2692 0.05155 104 80 20 4
1782 I'm sorry, sir, they're out of round tables. 1.2692 0.04779 104 78 24 2
1783 What exactly is the nature of your distress? 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
1784 Stacey, I think that our case is ironclad. 1.2692 0.04970 104 79 22 3
1785 Judith, this contract is iron clad 1.2692 0.05505 104 82 16 6
1786 I think we can both agree that chivalry is not dead. 1.2692 0.04339 130 98 29 3
1787 New Mask? 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
1788 I'm still not comfortable unmasking. 1.2688 0.05949 93 74 13 6
1789 Shall I interpret this as welcome chivalry or backward thinking prejudice? 1.2688 0.05949 93 74 13 6
1790 They can boot me out and down the stairs, but I won't go quietly. 1.2688 0.06330 93 76 9 8
1791 I just felt safer working from home. 1.2688 0.05103 93 70 21 2
1792 Ask Personnel to hire me a squire, asap. 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
1793 I see you're taking COVID precautions to a whole new level... 1.2687 0.06230 67 51 14 2
1794 This is the hardest part of my job Tina. 1.2687 0.06918 67 53 10 4
1795 There's a dragon at reception who says he has an appointment with you? 1.2687 0.06918 67 53 10 4
1796 Ah, gotcha. You said you’d be working knights. I thought you meant that you’d be working nights. 1.2685 0.04853 108 84 20 4
1797 Yes, I’m working the knight shift. 1.2685 0.05825 108 88 11 9
1798 They told me that you'd be hard to approach, Smedley... 1.2685 0.04853 108 82 23 3
1799 You don’t understand. The suit is my healthcare plan. 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
1800 The tax collector wants to know if you’re ready to joust. 1.2685 0.04853 108 84 20 4
1801 I had to get a second job because my wife wants to remodel the castle. 1.2685 0.05520 108 86 15 7
1802 Low and behold, the pen was mightier than the sword. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
1803 Yeah, I have lost weight. Thanks for noticing. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
1804 Please have maintenance send someone to meet me in the men's room--with a can opener. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
1805 Yes, this is the mail room. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
1806 You’re a jester jouster Chester and you still need a mask. 1.2680 0.06133 97 79 10 8
1807 Effective leadership, Sir, starts with a round table. 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
1808 NOW who has thin skin, Janet? 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
1809 Joust in time. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
1810 I'll say it again, we cannot land this account by laying siege to their office park. 1.2674 0.06282 86 69 11 6
1811 K.H.R. The "K" is silent. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
1812 It's just easier than explaining why I'm still wearing a mask 1.2674 0.06282 86 69 11 6
1813 Didn’t you get the memo about Medieval Mondays? 1.2674 0.06496 86 70 9 7
1814 Yes, it's the new N-1066AD mask, and matching attire. 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
1815 I can't do paperless until they implement the helmet mode face ID. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
1816 I expected your desk to be round. 1.2673 0.05052 101 77 21 3
1817 Sir, Is that Really YOU? 1.2673 0.05783 101 81 13 7
1818 No one shines armor in this county. 1.2673 0.05430 101 79 17 5
1819 Someone will be right out to help you suit up 1.2667 0.05799 75 57 16 2
1820 For the last time Sir Lancelot, m'lady is not an HR-approved pronoun. 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
1821 Any metalwork or welding experience? 1.2667 0.06667 75 60 10 5
1822 Maybe we could learn to juggle bowling balls, too? 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
1823 I remember the days when wearing a condom was enough protection. 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
1824 I'm pretty handy with the Three-In-One Oil. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1825 Your two o'clock joust with Marketing has been pushed back to three. 1.2667 0.06667 75 60 10 5
1826 Do Androids dream of Covid-19? You bet! 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
1827 I started in the mail room. 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
1828 I don’t care what shape the table is Chuck, just make sure there are no comically large drumsticks at the meeting this week. Donuts will do. 1.2667 0.04336 105 83 19 3
1829 I'm not seeing any broadaxe experience in your resume. 1.2667 0.06667 75 60 10 5
1830 I'll give you my comments on the report, but first let's agree that nobody needs to get defensive here. 1.2667 0.06667 75 60 10 5
1831 My mail! My mail! Why do you keep bringing me these letters?" 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1832 Nice mask. First day back in the office? 1.2667 0.05193 90 68 20 2
1833 Yes it's true. I was de-moated. 1.2667 0.05799 75 57 16 2
1834 The women of the office have elected me to tell you we are not doing Medieval Mondays. 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
1835 Your resume is quite impressive; unfortunately, I’m looking for a damsel in distress. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1836 This damsel is here to relieve you from your knight shift." " 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
1837 This states you have a backbone of steel. Can you elaborate? 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1838 This isn't really what I meant when I said I was waiting for my knight in shining armour 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
1839 Looks iron clad to me. 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
1840 I told you I'm not doing dragon stuff anymore! I'm an accountant now! 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
1841 Chivalry: New company policy. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1842 You wanted to see me, Sir? 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1843 No, you can't have a moat around your desk. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
1844 I see you're on the knight shift this week 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
1845 Haven't you heard of COVID? 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
1846 Sorry,your résumé’s rusty for a job in the mailroom 1.2658 0.06670 79 64 9 6
1847 You'll like working here. We've eliminated all sexual harassment. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
1848 I asked you to bring me a pardoner, not paper. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
1849 Can you at least ride a horse? 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
1850 Oh, you're working knight shift now? 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
1851 Did this come with the mail? 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1852 No, no. It's night shift. 1.2655 0.05482 113 91 14 8
1853 Chivalry isn't dead ... but it is on deadline. 1.2655 0.04872 113 87 22 4
1854 Please tell us why you'd be a good fit at Round Table. 1.2653 0.06077 98 80 10 8
1855 Did you get your Covid booster shot ? 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1856 These need to be sent anonymously. 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
1857 How’s the boiling oil contract coming along? 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
1858 Hard no from Materials Management for a round table. 1.2651 0.05444 83 63 18 2
1859 Would you like the good news or the bad news? 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
1860 I'd like to be reassigned to the day shift. 1.2651 0.05444 83 63 18 2
1861 Reading this memo is pure torture. 1.2647 0.05009 102 82 15 5
1862 You cannot disemploy me, I abdicate! 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
1863 There's a new variant. 1.2647 0.05561 102 81 15 6
1864 According to HR you don't have to call me Sir 1.2647 0.05009 102 78 21 3
1865 Pulling an all-nighter? 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
1866 Last week it was just a tin hat. 1.2647 0.05009 102 78 21 3
1867 If Arthur calls, tell him I'm not around. 1.2645 0.04660 121 96 20 5
1868 Mr. Rock should I send Mr. Smith in now? 1.2644 0.06217 87 70 11 6
1869 Perhaps a mask would suffice. 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
1870 Medieval font is preferred. 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
1871 What makes you think that my feedback will be negative? 1.2644 0.05998 87 69 13 5
1872 Oh, no, I always dress this way. I don't want anyone to know that I'm wearing a mask for COVID underneath. I'd be embarrassed. 1.2644 0.05998 87 69 13 5
1873 I’m ready to see the auditor. 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
1874 We "need you on the board" means something different than you think. 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
1875 What do you mean you are sick of me getting oiled at work? 1.2644 0.05998 87 69 13 5
1876 Well, if you had just sucked it up and gotten vaccinated, we wouldn't have made you do this. 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
1877 I got demoted from the round table to the rectangular tables with the rest of you. 1.2644 0.05998 87 69 13 5
1878 So, you need a hero. 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
1879 I told you I needed a round table." 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
1880 You seem a wee bit defensive… 1.2642 0.04889 106 81 22 3
1881 Grace, didn't you see this memo about wearing PPE in my office? 1.2642 0.05244 106 83 18 5
1882 The client is absolutely medieval. 1.2642 0.05244 106 83 18 5
1883 you know very well that, that is not the kind of suit HR told you to wear 1.2639 0.06558 72 57 11 4
1884 The arms race has taken a new turn 1.2639 0.06558 72 57 11 4
1885 Yes Ser, I know, winter is coming. 1.2639 0.06558 72 57 11 4
1886 So your the new IRS auditor. 1.2639 0.06850 72 58 9 5
1887 I thought you were going to "night" school. 1.2637 0.05813 91 72 14 5
1888 Not sure you understand how our firewall works. 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
1889 Excuse me, Mr. Wells but you are wanted in the R&D department. Something about a time machine. 1.2637 0.06019 91 73 12 6
1890 are you available for the night shift ? 1.2637 0.06218 91 74 10 7
1891 Wondering if you can give me an example of how you've used valor or gallantry or dragons in the workplace before? 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
1892 You misspelled quixotic. 1.2637 0.06019 91 73 12 6
1893 It’s a war out there. You need to be dressed for the job. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
1894 In my defense, some of our clients do look a bit like dragons. 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
1895 Welcome to HR 1.2632 0.05733 76 58 16 2
1896 Fired? Well, screw you and the horse you rode in on 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
1897 What?! They cancelled the hostile takeover? 1.2632 0.06032 76 59 14 3
1898 Are you able to work knights? 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1899 You're right. In this case I think 'gasknighted' is appropriate. 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
1900 Okay. Bring in the first performance review. 1.2632 0.06588 76 61 10 5
1901 So the rumors are true, you are a hardnose 1.2632 0.05733 76 58 16 2
1902 Welcome back from working at home. We did some reorganization and you will be working the Knight shift! 1.2632 0.06032 76 59 14 3
1903 I'm meeting with shareholders 1.2632 0.06032 76 59 14 3
1904 Your corporate raiding experience would translate well to a career in sacking and pillaging! 1.2632 0.06849 76 62 8 6
1905 My therapist told me I need to work on my confidence. 1.2626 0.05847 99 80 12 7
1906 Regarding your ‘edict’-these medieval policies don’t resonate with today’s enlightened work force. 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1907 The window washer doesn't care whether you have thick skin. 1.2626 0.06021 99 81 10 8
1908 How was the knight shift? 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
1909 Are you amenable to working knights? 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1910 Well, this damsel in distress needs transparent pay scales. 1.2626 0.05094 99 76 20 3
1911 Unfortunately, the knight shift has been taken. 1.2626 0.04887 99 75 22 2
1912 I was told that masks are optional. 1.2625 0.05260 80 60 19 1
1913 We have a quixotic dress code here. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
1914 I forgot my mask 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
1915 We ran out of PPE. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
1916 This is how we did it in the old days 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
1917 What do you mean “not eligible under ADA”? 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
1918 Please tell Mr. Smith that the Academy has,in fact,decided to rescind his Oscar. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
1919 Have the staff meet me at the Round Table in half an hour. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
1920 Can you run out and pick up some WD40? I can’t get up out of my chair. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
1921 what can you do? 1.2619 0.06364 84 68 10 6
1922 Seems like a feudal effort 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
1923 I can't read. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
1924 What I really need is a knight in a corporate meeting with a good explanation for why we can't stay within our budget. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
1925 It's nice to have the flexibility to still work from the castle. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
1926 Mhmhmff Fhmmfh Hmphmfh. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
1927 Don’t judge me by my looks. 1.2619 0.06364 84 68 10 6
1928 I may not have a round table... but I will face the Devil himself in this audit." 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
1929 I'd like to send some chain mail. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
1930 This was my safe career. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
1931 Procurement says rectangular desks are all they have. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
1932 The Mask Mandate is over! 1.2617 0.05367 107 85 16 6
1933 Send in Will Smith. 1.2615 0.07029 65 52 9 4
1934 So, Ms. Fletcher, you don't actually have any experience making arrows? 1.2615 0.07029 65 52 9 4
1935 That does not make you my knight in shining armor 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
1936 I guess you already heard about the new variant. 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1937 From the Round Table, to a cubicle. How the mighty have fallen. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
1938 Nice to meet another Rutgers grad! 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1939 l hereby anoint you me administrative squire. 1.2614 0.05236 88 67 19 2
1940 One great thing about working here is that sexual harassment is never an issue! 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1941 There's been a complaint you have a waste-paper trebuchet hidden under your desk. 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1942 This was the only suit that still fits 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1943 I'll be taking the Subway to the clients office Ms. Wiggins. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1944 My contract is ironclad. You cannot fire me! 1.2609 0.06414 69 54 12 3
1945 Don't you think you are taking the pandemic cautions too far. 1.2609 0.05096 92 70 20 2
1946 In that outfit it will be easier to bounce ideas off you. 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
1947 OK, I'm ready. Send in Mrs. Haggleton and her insufferable son. 1.2609 0.05756 92 75 11 6
1948 I thought they wanted me for the night shift. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1949 Good night 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
1950 I could slay a dragon for you, but I can't help with grammar. 1.2609 0.05960 92 74 12 6
1951 Turns out they said night at the interview, I heard knight. 1.2609 0.05960 92 74 12 6
1952 Oh,I think you misunderstood when we said we needed you on the night shift 1.2609 0.05096 92 70 20 2
1953 Well they did ask me to do knight duty." 1.2609 0.06073 69 53 14 2
1954 This working knights is killing me. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1955 I'm presenting at the Oscars tonight. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1956 I dislike coming to the office, but my castle doesn't have Wi-Fi. 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
1957 Your performance appraisal's today? Surely you joust. 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
1958 I you can get this off me, you're hired. 1.2603 0.06478 73 58 11 4
1959 Sticks and stones can't break my bones, but word processing does hurt me. 1.2603 0.06765 73 59 9 5
1960 HR needs you to stop sweeping female coworkers off their feet. 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
1961 Your work isn’t cutting it, Mrs. Williams. Enough verbal jousting! 1.2600 0.04632 100 79 18 3
1962 Apparently Google self-corrected from nightly in the boss's memo. 1.2600 0.05617 100 80 14 6
1963 I think this would be perfect for our roundtable next week. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1964 I'm ready for my afternoon joust. Did you make arrangements for a horse? 1.2600 0.04632 100 75 24 1
1965 I see they have you working the knight shift again 1.2600 0.05617 100 80 14 6
1966 Patricia, can you check to see if my lance has been straightened and my steed re-shod? 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
1967 I didn't get your email. Again, it's Melanie, not m'lady. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
1968 Not in? Surely you jest.. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
1969 When I told you that you would be working the night shift I didn't think you would take it so seriously. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
1970 Nadn burwahda adda, Mff bwuhkz. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
1971 Are you available knights and weekends? 1.2597 0.05359 77 58 18 1
1972 The pay scale for windmill tilting was simply too low. 1.2596 0.05291 104 82 17 5
1973 What are you thoughts on Succession? 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
1974 I dress for the job I want, not the job I have. 1.2593 0.05205 81 61 19 1
1975 I assume this means we're sticking with masks 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
1976 Let's get this straight, I'm your administrative assistant, not your damned squire! 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
1977 Purchasing says you are responsible for your own WD-40. 1.2593 0.05483 108 87 14 7
1978 Why the long face today? 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
1979 How would you like naming our son Lance? 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
1980 No,I hired you for the night shift 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
1981 So we're looking at a 15% housing price increase next year, along with an invasion of pillaging hordes. 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
1982 Couldn't your demand for a duel have been an email? 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
1983 No, I think that is you that should stop being so defensive. 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
1984 Don't follow my instructions mechanically... never forget you are human. 1.2593 0.05158 108 85 18 5
1985 I'd like to help, ma'am, but if corporate says this damsel isn't strictly in 'distress,' then my hands are tied. 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
1986 I'm hosting the Oscars tonight. 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
1987 I'm really tired of working nights. 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
1988 I shall deliver this at once to Sir Cularfile. 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
1989 It’s perhaps no secret that my editing skills are a bit rusty. 1.2589 0.05190 112 89 17 6
1990 Guess I misunderstood what you meant by the night shift. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
1991 Sir, don’t you think you’re taking this cyberattack a little too seriously? 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
1992 Clarence, maybe we should talk about our policy of openness and transparency. 1.2588 0.06296 85 69 10 6
1993 Perhaps something a little less up to date. 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
1994 Oh, suddenly 'No loud attire' just means whatever Janice wants? 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
1995 No Steve, I asked you to work nights. 1.2588 0.06070 85 68 12 5
1996 Lower the drawbridge. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
1997 I'm ready to give you your review now. 1.2584 0.06091 89 72 11 6
1998 Don't forget that rust never sleeps 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
1999 Lower the face plate a little, and I'll pour in the coffee. 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
2000 Miss Jones, I got here by going to knight school. 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
2001 I’m sorry to see you leave. Uh, what do you mean by “irreconcilable cultural differences”? 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
2002 Good knight,sir knight. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
2003 We have a very open atmosphere except for lèse-majesté around the water cooler. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
2004 Sir, I don't believe social joustice is a thing. 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
2005 Do you think this will protect me from getting laid off? 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
2006 Nice try with the moat and riddles three. You've been served. 1.2584 0.06091 89 72 11 6
2007 We thought you were going to work remoatly today. 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
2008 So, what pronoun should we call you? 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
2009 Hey Bill, You're serious about your malware protection aren't you? 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
2010 We think you’ll be happier on knight shift. 1.2581 0.04811 93 70 22 1
2011 I just feel safer wearing a mask. 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
2012 I see you're prepared for our round-table discussion today." 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
2013 To find the Grail, you must first produce the inventory report." 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
2014 Not "letter opener." I said "mail opener!" 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
2015 Good news! Accounting said armor is a reimbursable expense 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
2016 This is my formal fortknight notice 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
2017 When you work in H.R. you need the extra protection. 1.2576 0.06224 66 51 13 2
2018 recycled soup cans? 1.2576 0.06224 66 51 13 2
2019 You’re perfect for the position, Miss Wench. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2020 Should I prepare the Round Table for lunch sir? 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2021 They say you’re a hard ass, but I didn’t realize…. 1.2571 0.05246 105 83 17 5
2022 Excuse me Sir, but your horse just pooped in my parking spot. 1.2571 0.06652 70 56 10 4
2023 You joust! 1.2571 0.06652 70 56 10 4
2024 If I get one more piece of chain mail in my inbox, Linda... 1.2571 0.06652 70 56 10 4
2025 So that’s what the “K” in KN95 stands for. 1.2571 0.05418 105 84 15 6
2026 Nice resume but can you joust? 1.2571 0.05246 105 83 17 5
2027 The job requires working knights. 1.2569 0.05438 109 88 14 7
2028 As you can see, I am suitably impressed by your CV. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
2029 I think it's been escalated, Sir Willam. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
2030 Any chance we could get an Ottoman in here? 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
2031 I'm the Knight Clerk but you can just call me 'Sir'. How may I help you? 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
2032 Imma go Medieval on these progress reports. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2033 You rang, my liege? 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2034 I never got a heart, but I am on my way to getting a pension. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2035 The exit interviewees all showed up 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
2036 No, I don't feel I'm being 'overly defensive.' 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
2037 Well, this is casual to ME! 1.2564 0.05300 78 59 18 1
2038 They’re reminding us to charge to accounting, not at accounting. 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
2039 This isn't what I meant by dress for the job you want, Derrick. 1.2564 0.06435 78 63 10 5
2040 I'd prefer not to talk about it. 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
2041 I cannot fathom why the report would have so many typos. 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
2042 Prithee, fair maiden, canst thou explain thy meaning: hostile work environment? 1.2564 0.06435 78 63 10 5
2043 No point in asking how the shareholders meeting went. 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
2044 My eyes are up here Ms. Edwards. 1.2564 0.06171 78 62 12 4
2045 I thought you said could I work nights. 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
2046 I'm sorry to report that someone took your lubricating oil from the break room. 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
2047 I'm just a Templar 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
2048 Where I come from, masks are the bare minimum. 1.2561 0.05435 82 63 17 2
2049 You're right. We have to steel ourselves for this crisis. 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
2050 yes, but can you stave off attacks with a sword? 1.2561 0.05435 82 63 17 2
2051 But Sir,I heard Covid was over. 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
2052 You're violating our company dress code. You're not wearing a tie. 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
2053 It deflects microagressions. 1.2561 0.06211 82 66 11 5
2054 The boardroom table arrived. The designer decided hexagon is nicer than round. 1.2561 0.05151 82 62 19 1
2055 But you said you wanted to work old school. 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
2056 It’s optional. 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
2057 Just call me Dame Judi. 1.2558 0.06230 86 70 10 6
2058 Chivalry demands my attorney review these before I sign. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2059 This is PPE for the "Dragon" variant 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
2060 Not so, I am totally open to criticism 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2061 I’m ready. Bring in the auditors 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
2062 They’re letting me go due to a lack of vision. 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
2063 Is this your way of hiding from the Me-Too People? 1.2558 0.05013 86 65 20 1
2064 I just assumed you'd be working the knight shift 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
2065 I am prepared to defend this budget. 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
2066 When chivalry went out of style, I decided to go into accounting. 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
2067 The day shift is for closers. 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
2068 I'm trying to protect myself from the blue light. 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
2069 “Still trying to figure out what the ‘new normal’ is.” 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2070 I decided to mask against macro-organisms as well. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2071 The armor mandate has actually been lifted, sir. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2072 You know what they say. Dress for the job you want. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2073 I take chain mail very seriously. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2074 But this is a suit... 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2075 Do you have a quest for me?” 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2076 Complaints have recently taken a nasty turn. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2077 With regard to the pen’s might. I’ll need a rewrite there. 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
2078 So what if I was out with some friends last night and didn't quite make it home in time to dress for the office 1.2553 0.04768 94 71 22 1
2079 Shall I bring you your mail? 1.2553 0.05846 94 76 12 6
2080 I'll admit, this is one way to prevent sexual harassment. 1.2553 0.05647 94 75 14 5
2081 Can't meet this afternoon. I have a joust. 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
2082 Relax! It's more comfortable than it looks! 1.2553 0.05846 94 76 12 6
2083 Thanks Phyllis. Yep, I think I’m all set for the in-person staff meeting. 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
2084 You think you can't rise above the glass ceiling? How do you think I feel stuck in this shining armor? 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
2085 Long day's journey into knight? 1.2553 0.05002 94 72 20 2
2086 And you have experience with catapults? 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
2087 -... and then she left without even saying good knight. 1.2551 0.05676 98 79 13 6
2088 Sir, Your a day early... This is Formal Wednesday... 1.2551 0.05487 98 81 11 6
2089 I know knight’s armor doesn’t stop Covid. I’m not an idiot. 1.2549 0.05155 102 80 18 4
2090 This is not exactly what we meant by night work. 1.2549 0.05692 102 83 12 7
2091 A ‘one knight’ stand. 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
2092 What exactly is Mr Post doing on the ledge outside your window? 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
2093 So you're interviewing for the knight shift? 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
2094 My side hustle is at Medieval Times 1.2544 0.05109 114 91 17 6
2095 Sixty words per minute is the coin of the realm 1.2537 0.07163 67 55 7 5
2096 The staff thinks that they can't get "face time" with you. 1.2537 0.06501 67 53 11 3
2097 What do you mean that it makes others feel uncomfortable when I'm around them ? 1.2535 0.06567 71 57 10 4
2098 You may think it’s cool sir but it really isn’t your strong suit… 1.2535 0.05923 71 55 14 2
2099 Mr. Rock, Will Smith is in the lobby. He says you're expecting him? 1.2535 0.06254 71 56 12 3
2100 It’ s French for love 1.2535 0.06867 71 58 8 5
2101 Why must everybody challenge me? 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2102 He wants to joust you for your chair. What should I tell him? 1.2533 0.05400 75 57 17 1
2103 Oval schmoval, Candace, order me a round table! 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2104 It's time to meet with the shareholders. I see you're prepared. 1.2533 0.06869 75 62 7 6
2105 I'm told you're the person to speak to about the new dress code. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
2106 Signing up for negotiations, are we? 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
2107 Good Knight Mr S.mith 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2108 It's a great Covid defense but I can't hear very well 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
2109 Let's not bring Bill Gates into this. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
2110 Are you goin' commando underneath that? 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2111 I hope you didnt have plans tonight Lancelot, we're going to need you to work late 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2112 Just in case, performing in front of Wil Smith tonight. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2113 Is that your flagon of mead in the break room? 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2114 The good news is that they now make office armor that accommodates sitting. -Jessica E. Meth, Larchmont NY 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2115 We're Will Smith's agency, and he's coming over today for a meeting. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2116 It’s official– I’m now in charge of enforcing the company’s booster mandate. 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
2117 Big meeting today? 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2118 Another day at the Knight Desk 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2119 Frankly, Miss Sims, I'm sick and tired of people asking me which Heavy Metal band I was in. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2120 They told me I should get ready for night work. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2121 I am happy that you are a Knight of Columbus and not one of those weird knights! 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2122 Is the round table for the board room still on backorder? 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
2123 Terrific third quarter, m' lady! 1.2530 0.05098 83 63 19 1
2124 Not what I meant when I told him have a good night 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
2125 In this job I've learned when to pick my battles. 1.2530 0.06378 83 68 9 6
2126 I only see you as a heat register... 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2127 One days like this it feels like the sword is mightier. 1.2530 0.04801 83 62 21 0
2128 This firm's guaranty is iron clad. 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
2129 If you don't like my outfit, cancel casual Friday, Linda" 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
2130 This job is not for the thin skinned. 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
2131 Counselor, this has to ironclad. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2132 Too many slings and arrows? 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2133 I don’t do email—I do chain mail. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
2134 Trial by combat for the corner cubicle has been denied. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2135 New covid protocol, yours is at your desk. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2136 I'd rather work at a round table. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2137 Forget the unicorns, it's dragon time. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2138 No, I'm not jesting about jousting, Ms. Knight. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2139 It's k 95 armor. Now bring in the next supplicant. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2140 It happens to some men when they reach middle age. 1.2529 0.05944 87 70 12 5
2141 You really think this is the way to Protect yourself from COVID? 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2142 That's not what they meant when they switched you to the night shift. Now can I have my desk back? 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2143 What do you mean that you're not interested in middle aged guys? 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2144 Simply mentally preparing myself for the weekly budget meeting, no longer seems sufficient. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2145 This is what happens when you choose every battle. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2146 I hate to offend ye, Mr. Arthur, but that was definitely a Round Table meeting that could have been an email. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2147 Don't you think just wearing a mask would be enough protection from the virus? 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2148 Well, as they say, prevention is better than cure. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2149 Your mutton is stinking up the break room fridge. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2150 Okay, okay...maybe I am being a little defensive. 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
2151 What made you interested in the knight shift? 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
2152 I couldn't find my mask 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2153 Ready to defend your budget proposal? 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
2154 This is the new Mask Policy! 1.2527 0.06171 91 75 9 7
2155 I am now ready for the tax auditors 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
2156 So, Do I still have to rear the damn mask? 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
2157 Your cleaners called…you picked up the wrong suit. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2158 My other suit is being shined. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2159 it's a young company, you're the only one who's Middle-Aged 1.2527 0.05086 91 70 19 2
2160 What are you staring at? 1.2526 0.05980 95 78 10 7
2161 Miss Willams, please cancel my two-o'clock. I have a joust in Jersey and won't be back in time. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
2162 The mailroom is down the hall 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
2163 Well, you don't have to be so defensive! 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
2164 I told him I was going to get medieval on his...never mind. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
2165 Yes I make the decisions, and stop calling me the tin man! 1.2525 0.05624 99 80 13 6
2166 Seriously, Wanda, do you really believe “A man’s home is his castle” is a debunked conspiracy theory? 1.2524 0.04921 103 80 20 3
2167 I'm protecting myself in case Will Smith comes after me. 1.2524 0.06127 103 87 6 10
2168 Yeah, I'm on knight shift all week. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
2169 No, I'm Percival, but we get that a lot. 1.2524 0.05641 103 84 12 7
2170 Sir, it's time to put the pedal to the metal. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
2171 Lunch sounds great. How about White Castle? 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
2172 My 500th High School reunion is coming up and I wanted to make sure I could wear my old cheerleading uniform all day. 1.2500 0.05911 92 75 11 6
2173 Young reviewing your employment history, there seems to be a gap during the crusades period..... 1.2500 0.06312 88 73 8 7
2174 I’m on the knight shift 1.2500 0.06309 84 69 9 6
2175 I don't care how much you love it, you're not wearing your knight suit to lunch with a client. 1.2500 0.05735 96 78 12 6
2176 It seems I misunderstood the night-shift part. 1.2500 0.05000 100 78 19 3
2177 There's been an attack. Who are the Cybers? 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2178 All my other suits were at the dry cleaners. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
2179 You've been forwarding a little too much chain mail lately. 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
2180 'I was unable to get Kevlar." 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
2181 This should give you some indication how extreme the office politics are here. 1.2500 0.05046 84 64 19 1
2182 Sometimes I leave for the coliseum straight from work. 1.2500 0.06063 68 53 13 2
2183 I distinctly ordered a round table. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
2184 Your armor is not shining. 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2185 I take it you've never been to knight school. 1.2500 0.06415 68 54 11 3
2186 I see you prefer traditional personal protective equipment. 1.2500 0.06415 68 54 11 3
2187 You realize their words can still hurt you, right? 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
2188 Looks to me like you wish to be rescued from your current job. 1.2500 0.04911 96 74 20 2
2189 I was told to brace for a cyber attack. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
2190 Sir, I just don’t think it’s a good look when your the head of HR. 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
2191 In addition, I'm very good at handling mail 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2192 You're the new knight shift applicant? 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
2193 I can’t help it, you know, it’s my ancestors DNA 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2194 I prefer the night shift. 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
2195 Your request for a round desk was denied. 1.2500 0.04794 100 77 21 2
2196 It's the only suit I own. 1.2500 0.06077 84 68 11 5
2197 I'm flattered, Wendy, but my last office romance ended badly. 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2198 Sorry, Clyde, but the Dark Knight wears a Batman costume 1.2500 0.06309 84 69 9 6
2199 Was this a roundtable decision? 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2200 Took my lunch break at the Renaissance Faire" 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
2201 No, I said chain e-mail. 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2202 Who's your tailor? 1.2500 0.06749 68 55 9 4
2203 I just don’t “do” white satin. 1.2500 0.06523 76 62 9 5
2204 The mayor lifted the mask mandate, sir. 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
2205 Where is your appropriate work PPE Janice? 1.2500 0.05911 92 75 11 6
2206 Personnel stressed I'd need to be prepared working nights. 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
2207 There’s a horse in your parking spot ! 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
2208 I'm sorry, Gwendolyn, I couldn't understand your report on the Crusades because it's written in modern English. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
2209 I won't be here tomorrow morning; I work the Knight shift. 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
2210 never goes out of style 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
2211 I haven't given casual Friday much thought yet. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
2212 And please add a tube of armor shiner to your to do list. 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2213 Ted, this is not what the company means by 'casual Friday.' 1.2500 0.05506 72 55 16 1
2214 When i call you i expect you to charge in ! 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
2215 Sometimes I feel like my Middle Age crisis is not going unnoticed. 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
2216 I can’t believe they demoted me to the rectangular table 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
2217 I'm an old soul where suits are concerned. 1.2500 0.06515 88 74 6 8
2218 What time is my Duel? 1.2500 0.07374 60 49 7 4
2219 My hazmat suit is in the wash. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
2220 You really seem to be taking to the knight shift, Mr. James. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2221 I’m steeling myself against bad news! 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
2222 An N95 mask is all you really neeed. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
2223 The winner of the joust decides once and for all how many spaces go after a period. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
2224 Iron, yes, but not Iron Man 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2225 You’re saying I’m contractually obligated to joust? 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
2226 I’m still not calling you “Sir”, Derek. 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
2227 I guess you didn't get the memo. The Governor is lifting mask restrictions. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
2228 None of my other suits fit anymore. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
2229 It's part of our shift from cutting edge to bleeding edge. 1.2500 0.07066 68 56 7 5
2230 Round table? Budget review? Board meeting? Bring it on. 1.2500 0.04684 104 80 22 2
2231 We're not going jousting for happy hour, Ted 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
2232 I ran out of regular masks 1.2500 0.04766 108 84 21 3
2233 Are you the night duty person? 1.2500 0.05573 100 81 13 6
2234 I miss my old round table 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
2235 You can take that off now, the client’s dropped the suit. 1.2500 0.04526 124 99 20 5
2236 You look like the animal in last weeks cartoon 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
2237 Impressive resume,but I'm concerned about the difference in our ages 1.2500 0.06309 84 69 9 6
2238 I'm sorry to inform you that our jousting department has been liquidated. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
2239 The CDC recommends taking additional precautions with this new variant 1.2500 0.05030 116 93 17 6
2240 I'm worried your column may come across a little dated. 1.2500 0.05911 92 75 11 6
2241 I'm a lawyer 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
2242 Is this the Medieval History Department? 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
2243 Sir, I’ve been elected to let you know there’s something creepy about a boss with a persecution complex 1.2500 0.05000 100 78 19 3
2244 My doctor said I was iron deficient. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2245 You're fired,Ms. Nelson. I would rise for emphasis,but I'm barefoot. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2246 Sir, is this your first root canal." 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
2247 I work in stocks. That’s why I couldn’t stand up when you came in. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
2248 Sarah, this is the first I've heard that the annual Office Ren Faire has been canceled, and I am not pleased. 1.2479 0.04361 117 92 22 3
2249 I'm doing my best to avoid synthetic fibers. 1.2478 0.05111 113 91 16 6
2250 Looks great, let me just trebuchet this over to accounting for final review. 1.2477 0.04728 109 88 17 4
2251 Sorry Janie, but the knight shift is already filled up. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
2252 It would be easier if you just got vaccinated. 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
2253 Let’s take five. I need to visit the little knight’s room.” 1.2475 0.05523 101 82 13 6
2254 Covid restrictions have been lifted, James 1.2474 0.04867 97 75 20 2
2255 We have a business chivalrous dress code 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
2256 I’m sorry, but for some reason I can’t read a single word. 1.2474 0.05682 97 79 12 6
2257 I need you to find a round table for the conference room. 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2258 You'll need a thick skin if you want to work here. 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2259 Remove the head from the windowsill, get rid of it discreetly, and say nothing to anyone about it." 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
2260 We've had complaints from staff that you are hard to read. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2261 People are saying you seem a bit defensive. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
2262 I prefer you call me ‘sir’ 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
2263 Your presence is required at a round table discussion. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2264 Shouldn't you be working in the 'Mail' room? 1.2472 0.06247 89 74 8 7
2265 It can’t be that difficult to find an oil can, Ms. Johnson. 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
2266 Oh, and put the word out that chain mail is okay again. 1.2472 0.05124 89 69 18 2
2267 No, you were not assigned to me as punishment. Where did you get such a silly idea? 1.2472 0.06039 89 73 10 6
2268 I think I would be more comfortable with the sword actually 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
2269 How did the security awareness training go? 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
2270 It's Marketing's idea. We're trying to compete with a talking gecko. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2271 Sorry, I can't see how the pen is mightier than the sword. 1.2472 0.06039 89 73 10 6
2272 Use your pen. I want it signed not shredded. 1.2471 0.06241 85 70 9 6
2273 No, this time it's a cold coffee... 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2274 Who told you we were transferring you to customer relations? 1.2471 0.05268 85 68 14 3
2275 Yes, sir. 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
2276 And by which hour doth m'lady require this scroll? 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2277 It's just a safety precaution. 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
2278 Laundry day? Laundry day. 1.2471 0.06013 85 69 11 5
2279 I've been asked to present an Oscar. 1.2471 0.05268 85 66 17 2
2280 They stopped using swords to fire people in the 50s. 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
2281 So the moats you learned to build in business school were literal, huh? 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2282 So, you think you have what it takes to work in complaints? 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
2283 So are you taking the knight shift? 1.2471 0.06241 85 70 9 6
2284 I was an occupation diversity hire. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2285 Boss says that if you fake being sick one more time, he’s gonna take you to the guillotine. 1.2471 0.04995 85 65 19 1
2286 You must be my knight-shift manager 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
2287 Desk-bound knight-errant go figure. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2288 I'm not comfortable wearing a mask. 1.2469 0.05131 81 62 18 1
2289 What the hell is an “e-mail”? 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2290 What do you mean I don’t fit the office culture? 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2291 The Board has nixed the tourney? 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
2292 No, Agnes, we didn't mean 'Night Shift'. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
2293 sir, we are out of workhorses. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2294 I wasn't ready to stop working from home. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2295 I'm wearing this because I was lanced a lot. 1.2469 0.06462 81 67 8 6
2296 You can relax; Will isn’t coming in today. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2297 What are you lookin at? 1.2469 0.06697 81 68 6 7
2298 Those N-95 masks are just too uncomfortable. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
2299 How well can you handle a javelin? 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2300 Where is Sancho? 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
2301 Any update on that round table? 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
2302 When will you take the knight off? 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
2303 Dragon in the Boardroom, you're on. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2304 Is the air conditioner working ? Kinda hot in here. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
2305 I'd say that about covers it. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
2306 You're right to shield yourself, because you're not going to like the slings and arrows of what I have to say.... 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2307 Can’t work the night shift? What’s that’s supposed to mean? 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2308 Fine, but how about weekends? 1.2469 0.06462 81 67 8 6
2309 Mrs. Jones, Please set up a meeting this afternoon with the Cowardly Lion, the Scarecrow and Dorothy. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
2310 There’s no armor mandate in the office, but we are armor-optional and armor-positive. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2311 That's SIR Richard, if you don't mind. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
2312 Your jousting. 1.2468 0.05594 77 62 12 3
2313 How’s your jousting? 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2314 The knight shift pays better and it’s simplified my wardrobe. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2315 The other knights prefer their cubicles to the round table you ordered. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
2316 I'm the new logo for Armour Meats 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2317 Is this really from the princess ? 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
2318 Because corporate battles are just like war, that's why. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
2319 Mr. Smith is here to see you, Mr. Rock. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
2320 Oh, I thought they meant the knight shift! 1.2468 0.06445 77 63 9 5
2321 Show them to conference room with the round table. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2322 I am here for the ivory tower redesign project meeting. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
2323 You can't sit there until you pull the sword out of the stone. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
2324 Sarge says I'm on desk duty until the board rules the decapitation was in policy. 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
2325 Because nobody's wearing masks anymore and you won't let me work from home. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
2326 It’s from the dragon, sir, asking you to consider his revised ending to the narrative. 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
2327 It's been a really hazardous day. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
2328 ...and so it looks like Dorothy, the Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion didn’t show up again! 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
2329 You can knock off now, the day shift has started. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
2330 You’re in my seat. Mid evil questions are next aisle.” 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
2331 Staff says forget the chivalry, we want equal pay. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
2332 They keep assigning me the knight shift 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
2333 Around here, Ms. McIntyre, we do not consider "Medieval" a bad thing. 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
2334 I find it's really reduced the amount of paper cuts! 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2335 Did you have a specific complaint? 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2336 Just so you know. The mask mandate was lifted. 1.2464 0.05619 69 53 15 1
2337 Do you have some other definition of business casual? 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2338 You can mail this and then bring me a can opener. 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
2339 ye moldy oldie can I get you a Radio Shack computer? 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
2340 It's my day to be Knight. 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2341 If Renaissance Dry-Cleaning calls, put them through immediately. 1.2464 0.06660 69 56 9 4
2342 Welcome to the Office of Chivalry. How can I be of service, m'lady? 1.2462 0.07282 65 54 6 5
2343 But I am wearing a suit. 1.2462 0.06944 65 53 8 4
2344 Greave news, sir. The Daily Mail are closing the knight desk. The editor just ordered me to get your cuirass out of here. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2345 Your first joust is at eleven this morning. 1.2455 0.05354 110 90 13 7
2346 Are you recyclable, shreddable, or just trash 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
2347 I agree, I'm glad we don't have to joust today. 1.2451 0.05474 102 83 13 6
2348 HR doesn't take lightly the claim that this company is 'in the dark ages'. 1.2449 0.05242 98 80 13 5
2349 I'm working on some new Chris Rock jokes 1.2449 0.05629 98 80 12 6
2350 I thought they said I'd be working the knight shift. 1.2449 0.05439 98 79 14 5
2351 I hope that's your resignation letter. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
2352 You don't need to get so defensive. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
2353 That's not what it says in the employee handbook, Grace. I am wearing a suit. 1.2449 0.05813 98 81 10 7
2354 I trust Doctor Fauci. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
2355 Where in this paperwork is my request for a round desk? 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
2356 No you may not turn the thermostat up. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
2357 No, I do not work knights. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
2358 How good are you at rustproofing? 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
2359 My door is always open. Me, not so much. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
2360 Finally. I’ve been waiting for ages. 1.2444 0.05765 90 73 12 5
2361 Will you please just get the Covid shot? 1.2444 0.05074 90 70 18 2
2362 I needed this report by nightfall. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
2363 We in HR are concerned you didn’t understand you were hired for the night shift… 1.2444 0.04822 90 69 20 1
2364 Because I just don’t think that a rectangle is a good shape for a conference room table, that’s why. 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
2365 Mmmph grrrsh frgehphrey crmbsmm. 1.2444 0.05978 90 74 10 6
2366 The round table is back ordered. 1.2444 0.05074 90 70 18 2
2367 Fresh grass for the company steed is, indeed, a business expense. 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
2368 So much for that new princess in my life. It's a restraining order." 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
2369 You'll need to submit a round table requisition form. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2370 Your teflon resume tells us you won't stick around. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2371 Are you boosted? 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2372 As the new human resource manager, I vow to defend your honor to the death. 1.2442 0.06175 86 71 9 6
2373 Jared we told you that you can't cosplay at work. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2374 I wasn’t aware that the CDC had issued another directive on what PPE to use. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2375 I’ve been called into HR. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2376 Just call me Joani. I'll be in charge of glass ceilings. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2377 Jousting on lunch. You in? 1.2442 0.06393 86 72 7 7
2378 I understand you object to my calling you "Fair Maiden." 1.2439 0.06150 82 67 10 5
2379 I asked for a round table,Miss Smith. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2380 I said you had to work tonight, not as a knight 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
2381 So -- you're averse to working knights. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
2382 Any new mail? 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2383 What is this nightly charge? 1.2439 0.05366 82 67 12 3
2384 If only you can see how impressed I am 1.2439 0.05639 82 67 11 4
2385 I thought today was Feudal Friday. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2386 I never had this kind of complaint in my former job. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
2387 I'm prepared for the competition 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
2388 I used to carry mace. 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
2389 I like that revolving door at the entrance, will get one installed at my castle. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2390 We're getting push-back on the new masking policy. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2391 I will be leaving promptly at 5. Have my horse ready. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2392 So if I'm understanding this new personnel chart, I'm off dragon duty and back in the mailroom. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2393 If you're auditioning for the role of Dorothy we will need to find you some red shoes. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2394 This guy on Tic Toc told me to dress for the job I want, not the one I have. 1.2436 0.05221 78 60 17 1
2395 You forgot the catapults. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2396 We're a progressive company , with a forward looking vision , but we do have our traditions !! 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2397 I know it's your first day, but we do have a dress code 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
2398 I take it you're working the knight shift again. 1.2432 0.06613 74 61 8 5
2399 I'm roadtesting alternate realities. What do you think? 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
2400 We will take no prisoners in the budget meeting this afternoon - rally the analysts, contact our allies in accounting, and ready my horse! 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
2401 I'd like the full "romantic rescue" so you have to bring your horse. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
2402 Who farted? 1.2432 0.06887 74 62 6 6
2403 I didn,t mean to offend you when I asked about your proficiency with a broad sword 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
2404 Wait... we protect identities? 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
2405 Sorry, ma'am, we're looking for a chainmail expert, not an email expert." 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
2406 No,we do not discriminate. 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
2407 Input from the staff meeting — it does help with your bad breath. 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
2408 Order fewer pencils and more mace. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
2409 You have an impressive resume. We particularly liked your use of blackletter. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
2410 Say ,"Good Knight", Mrs. Calabash. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
2411 HR said they hired a Renaissance man. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
2412 I think that wearing a mask is all that’s required. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
2413 I know you were hard headed, now this: 1.2427 0.04871 103 81 19 3
2414 I know you're trying to be funny. But "that's how we did it in the Dark Ages" just isn't all that humorous. 1.2427 0.05248 103 83 15 5
2415 The restaurant asked if you would be okay with a rectangular table. 1.2427 0.05248 103 83 15 5
2416 Helen, please cancel my hydrotherapy session this afternoon. 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
2417 This is the knight shift. 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
2418 You're wanted in the mail room. 1.2424 0.06499 66 53 10 3
2419 I heard there wasn't gonna be any lightning today so I'm good. 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
2420 I’m not taking any chances with you germ magnets. 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
2421 A crusade? No Thelma, it’s more like a media blitz. 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
2422 My place or yours? 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
2423 Sir, you’ll still need a PCR Covid test to get in . 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
2424 Bob, I think you're taking my memo on a corporate renaissance a little too literally. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
2425 Miss Snodgrass, I want you to put a stop to these threatening emails. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2426 This isn't the Mail Room, mister! 1.2421 0.05933 95 79 9 7
2427 Could you schedule the jousting for next week? 1.2421 0.04665 95 75 18 2
2428 Why yes, I do miss working remoatly. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2429 See? There's no letter K in the night shift ad. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2430 Our ideal candidate will be middle-aged. 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
2431 HR heard your complaints. We're ready to take psychological safety seriously. 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
2432 Chivalry is not dead Miss, it’s just very hard to stand up. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2433 I’ve been demoated. 1.2421 0.04665 95 73 21 1
2434 In order to sign off on this I'm going to need the weekly reports and some WD-40. 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
2435 …and this is the spare room. 1.2418 0.05918 91 75 10 6
2436 They've asked me to do the knight shift. 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
2437 I like contracts like I like my men: ironclad. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
2438 Covid restrictions are still being enforced here, Miss Jones! 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
2439 Aren't you taking your new job of Chief Complaint Officer a little too seriously? 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
2440 You're the fourth person today to ask me if I'm masked. 1.2418 0.05918 91 75 10 6
2441 Because I was invited to the Academy Awards tonight. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
2442 I didn't know I'd have to work knights 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
2443 This is my ancestral desk. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2444 I actually wanted to be a therapist, believe it or not. 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
2445 "Once I finish my last few credits at Knight School, I'm getting out of here! 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
2446 Knight shift. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2447 It's the only way I can feel safe since they lifted the mask mandate 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2448 Mid-level? No ma'am, the job posting said medieval. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2449 Mildred, please be sure to be back from lunch before the moat bridge is drawn. 1.2414 0.04614 87 66 21 0
2450 I see you're prepared for our 9:30 budget meeting. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2451 Don't forget to copy Joan of Arc 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2452 Hello Larry 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2453 Hey Gwyn. Has the new round table for the conference room been delivered? 1.2414 0.06110 87 72 9 6
2454 Is the dragon sick of Zoom yet? 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2455 And when does the damsel need this report? 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2456 ‘’Let me round table this and get back to you” 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2457 Actually it was a huge hassle - until the company extended our bathroom breaks. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2458 I refuse to stop telling bald jokes. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2459 Jason, I think you misread the memo about working nights. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2460 Pasta day in the lunchroom. We need a colander. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2461 Those are the knightly figures. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2462 I see your jousting experience includes Black Friday shopping. 1.2410 0.06320 83 69 8 6
2463 I'm hoping the waist-up formality distracts from my sweatpants. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2464 I thought I told you I've been attending knight school. 1.2410 0.06548 83 70 6 7
2465 "Don't forget I've got my lube job at four today." 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2466 Productivity's gone up 400% since the Knights of the Round Table switched to videoconferencing. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2467 Do you have any experience with Microsoft Excel-iber? 1.2410 0.06083 83 68 10 5
2468 Hiding from the creditors again? 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2469 Yeah, I guess I wasn’t ready to drop the mask yet. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2470 When we said you would be working night hours we meant evening not knight hours 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2471 Until Fauci says the pandemic is really over, that's how long. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2472 Tell the garage guy it’s my steed in the reserve space. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2473 I'm pretty sure, sir, face masks are optional. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2474 It's the new Over Armour. 1.2410 0.06083 83 68 10 5
2475 Good morning, I’d like to offer you a position at the round table. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2476 When I phone the hotel, will the room be for just one night? 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2477 That will be all for today, Dorothy. I have to get to my classes at knight school. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2478 Yes Ms. Jones, as the head of HR I promise to help everyone, not just damsels in distress. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2479 I just liked the name Squires & Esquires but then the Renaissance Faire crowd found us. 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
2480 No, I don't think a Brene Brown conference on vulnerability counts as continuing ed for this firm. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2481 You know I can’t lower the bridge before 4:30, Pam 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
2482 Tell Will Smith I’ll audition him now Miss Pringle. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
2483 I didn't fully understand when I signed up for the knight shift 1.2405 0.06549 79 66 7 6
2484 Sorry but, as you should understand more than anyone, the contact is ironclad. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
2485 Its suppose to be an accounting adjustment not a jousting tournament! 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
2486 This is your definition of a hazmat suit. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2487 You did say that the paperwork would be Draconic. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
2488 What should I do for a squeaky chair? 1.2400 0.04522 100 77 22 1
2489 Read my lips: IT'S TOO WARM IN HERE. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
2490 Do I sense some anxiety over your annual performance review, Sir? 1.2400 0.06802 75 63 6 6
2491 I know as an HR exec I’m supposed to be tough, but the last termination got a bit heated. 1.2400 0.04965 75 57 18 0
2492 Did you burn a turkey leg in the microwave again? 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
2493 You need an expense report every single time I'm storming the castle? 1.2400 0.06802 75 63 6 6
2494 I’m sorry, but Staples only has rectangular desks. 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
2495 Good news Johnson -- the boss has taken you off knight shift 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
2496 I believe my memo specified a round table 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
2497 I guess it'll do, but I asked for a round table. 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
2498 You can start by rescuing me from the unemployment line. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
2499 Your 4 o’clock dragon-slaying was rescheduled to a virtual call. 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
2500 To obtain a raise, you must answer me, these questions three. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
2501 I expected a round desk, actually 1.2396 0.04854 96 75 19 2
2502 I hate working the night shift. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
2503 It’s a letter of understanding for the terms of your severance package, and no the boss won’t entertain a duel. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
2504 My wife says that I'm a paranoid guy, but I don't think so." (Jacob Cisneros, 13 years old 1.2396 0.05876 96 80 9 7
2505 Oliver, I hear you've been complaining about the dress code again. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
2506 The round table downsized, so here I am. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
2507 Excellent! You're Middle Aged! 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
2508 I told the boss that I wan't comfortable taking off my mask if I had to return to the office. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
2509 When did you transfer to the knight shift? 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
2510 The plexiglass screens just made it too hard to hear people. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
2511 I may seem boring at work, but I do have a very active knight life. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
2512 A good offense might be better. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
2513 Sir, the staff want to know if you will approve their holiday leave before the siege begins 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
2514 I’m calling it a knight, sir 1.2393 0.04317 117 91 24 2
2515 I distinctly requested a round table! 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
2516 It would be fine Sid if you just kept wearing a mask. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
2517 So you're the knight shift? 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
2518 So this is for the night shift? 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
2519 If you want, maintenance has a can of oil for your hinges. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
2520 What? I'm the office-comedian,everybody knows that. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
2521 I thought Kevlar was fine for Casual Friday 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
2522 Impressive resume. Can you make coffee? 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
2523 Yes, I'm double vaxxed and double boosted. How could you tell? 1.2388 0.05663 67 52 14 1
2524 I’ve heard it takes a thick skin to manage this department. 1.2386 0.04847 88 68 19 1
2525 You should know that wearing a mask is not optional 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2526 I always say, dress for the job you want! 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2527 They told me the job required knight work. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2528 Your request for a round table has been denied. 1.2386 0.05826 88 72 11 5
2529 The job pays well, but this outfit is a real clunker. 1.2386 0.04847 88 68 19 1
2530 So you’re the one sending chain mail. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
2531 I resign. I can’t work with someone who is stuck in the Middle Ages. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
2532 Well, my wife has trouble pronouncing “armoire”. 1.2381 0.06250 84 70 8 6
2533 Did you sell my Castle without telling me again? 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2534 I guess you didn’t get the memo. Chivalry is dead, Harold. 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2535 So, you took the 'get ready for battle' memo literally. 1.2381 0.06250 84 70 8 6
2536 Don't you think your taking my request for a bulletproof contract too far? 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2537 I was looking for night court 1.2381 0.05332 105 86 13 6
2538 We are offering you early retirement complete with bonus! 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2539 Methinks the lady from HR doth protest too much. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
2540 Oh I'm sorry. Looks like we accidently dropped the letter K from our "Wanted, Working Nights" ad. 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2541 You forgot the funnel for my coffee. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2542 Please let King Arthur know, the Holy Grail is within our reach! 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2543 But sir, I've already had two booster shots." 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2544 Good night good knight. 1.2381 0.06250 84 70 8 6
2545 Oh, that kind of suit... 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2546 Are you the day shift temp here to relieve me? 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2547 I said wear under armor when the AC is too cold. 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2548 Business is war. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
2549 So he said, 'If you're not wearing a suit on Monday, don't bother coming in.' 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2550 I am pleased to tell you Sir, your request for a moat has been approved 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2551 Sure, I'm happy to be back in the office. Why? 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2552 I thought we were meeting at the round table. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2553 I'm taking over the knight shift. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2554 I'm sorry, but firewall protection isn't what it sounds like. 1.2375 0.05108 80 62 17 1
2555 I’m clamping down on people coming in late. 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
2556 Are you waiting for the next Russian missile? 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2557 Knight and Day, you are the one! 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2558 I love the knight life. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2559 Hence forth, Casual Friday shall be known as Gwyneth Paltrow Friday. 1.2375 0.06474 80 67 7 6
2560 My pronouns should be clear. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2561 Your first employee review is at 10am... 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
2562 You've got to be jousting. 1.2375 0.06225 80 66 9 5
2563 Our new business model actually has a long history. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2564 But if I'm axed, who will work the knight shift? 1.2375 0.06225 80 66 9 5
2565 Let's follow up in the conference room. I hope you like round tables. 1.2375 0.06474 80 67 7 6
2566 Do you think I have covid? 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
2567 I hear he’s over Gladwell and back to Sun Tzu 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2568 Some people are saying you’re too defensive. 1.2375 0.05108 80 62 17 1
2569 I think social distancing is more than enough sir. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2570 They're sticking with the lizard 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
2571 The shareholders are meeting today and I hear they are up in arms. 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
2572 I can't read it if it's not in Old English. 1.2373 0.04451 118 93 22 3
2573 Casual Fridays are back! 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
2574 I asked for a round table, not a desk. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2575 ...and make sure the meeting room has a round table. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2576 It's PPE. I did my own research. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2577 I sense a bureaucracy that’s protecting itself. 1.2368 0.04189 114 91 21 2
2578 Sir, I think you may have misinterpreted our back to work Covid requirements. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2579 Sorry, but we need you to stay. Too many others are out with the plague." 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
2580 I asked you to print it on a scroll. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
2581 Are you lost in time? 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
2582 Does a hostile work environment bother you? 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
2583 I do not follow the HR code, I follow the Chivalric code! 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
2584 Yes, the transition back to the office can be difficult. 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
2585 Sorry I was late, boss. My water clock ran dry. 1.2364 0.04644 110 91 14 5
2586 Sir, it is difficult to understand you behind your mask. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2587 This is not the sort of incoming mail I was expecting. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2588 Are you prepared to go medieval? 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
2589 ... well the job is night work. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2590 Sir, it's time for the industry round table discussion. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
2591 Let’s just say you won’t have to worry about the dragon lady anymore. 1.2361 0.06706 72 60 7 5
2592 They were out of N-95s. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
2593 And these are your talking points for the round table meeting. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
2594 Now the CDC is recommending we have fun with this. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
2595 A team of tax auditors are on their way. Raise the drawbridge, alert the archers and fire up the oil ASAP! 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
2596 When did you start working days? 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
2597 Relax, I won't be going medieval on you today. 1.2360 0.04526 89 68 21 0
2598 Sir, your meeting is at 10:30 in the conference room with the round table. 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
2599 I’ve got jury duty this morning. 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
2600 It's tax season. 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
2601 It's very hard day working over knight... 1.2360 0.04800 89 69 19 1
2602 i know it's hump day but i just can't seem to let my guard down till friday afternoons.... 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
2603 I find that it helps protect against STD's, but you should do whatever makes you comfortable. 1.2360 0.04526 89 68 21 0
2604 I’m sorry, but I am not a robot 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
2605 I once trolled him on twitter. 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
2606 I'm out of here.The tipping point for me is the severed head on the windowsill 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
2607 Burning-oil prices are up again. 1.2360 0.05984 89 74 9 6
2608 I’m filling in for the day shift. 1.2360 0.04800 89 71 16 2
2609 The round table doesn't fit into the conference room. 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
2610 I'm making the most of my ancestry test. 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
2611 I've finally decided: 'tis indeed nobler to take arms than to continue to suffer the slings and arrows" 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
2612 Sir, the armor mandate has been revoked 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2613 You apparently didn't understand what I meant when I said you would have to work knights. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
2614 Your horse is here. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2615 Today's my first time on the day shift. I've been working knights for a while. 1.2353 0.04628 85 65 20 0
2616 The groom sent over a list of items your horse needs before he’ll be ready for tomorrows tournament. Do you want me to shop around?” 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
2617 You knew I was old school when you took this job. 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
2618 When I took this knight job I was told there would be a round table... 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
2619 I heard you were a tough boss. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2620 You've taken "night shift" to a whole new level. 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2621 It says here on your resume that you ride horses and pole vaulted in college...would you like to combine those and take a stab at jousting. We have a vacancy in that department. 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2622 The price I pay for being the office's wordle whiz. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2623 Sir, here's proof that you lost the election. May I take your armor and weapons now? 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
2624 I know you preferred working virtually, but your PPE is a bit much. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2625 Shall I bring your mail with the mail? 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2626 I only work the knight shift. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2627 Thank you for this report....but if I'm going to protect the servers I'll need to know if the hackers breath fire. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2628 It looks like they turned down our appeal to include ‘People of Armor’ in our Diversity Initiative. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2629 I can't stay late. I have a commitment to knight. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2630 I thought they said I would be doing Knight work", and now they tell me to work at night 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2631 Mr. Rock, Mr. Smith is here to see you. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2632 We have such a hard time finding people to work the knight shift. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2633 I sprayed my Under Armour workout outfit with Rustoleum. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2634 I know the performance reviews are tough, but perhaps you overdid it? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2635 Tell Bob in accounting I'm getting medieval on the quarterly report. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2636 You know they've lifted the mask mandate? 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2637 Ah, I understood by phone this position wouldn't be a day shift. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2638 I wonder if you can get me some lubricating oil. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2639 If we can't get him a round table because of the supply chain issues, Sir Lancelot says he'll take the oblong but wants a bigger discount. 1.2344 0.05783 64 50 13 1
2640 So you were the one they were all waiting for? 1.2344 0.05783 64 50 13 1
2641 Will Smith is waiting to see you. 1.2344 0.07300 64 54 5 5
2642 It says here you've squired for Ser Gellebrad the Honest? I'm not sure PR is the right business for you... 1.2344 0.06585 64 52 9 3
2643 Sure, things are fine at home, but thanks for asking 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
2644 I think you're taking his "heads will roll" comment a little too literally 1.2340 0.05745 94 78 10 6
2645 It started with a tinfoil hat, then I kept going. 1.2340 0.04644 94 73 20 1
2646 I really don’t think the meeting is going to be that bad. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2647 You can go home early, Ruth, I decided to take the knight off. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2648 All my other suits are still at the dry cleaners. 1.2340 0.05542 94 77 12 5
2649 Better to suffer the slings and arrows well protected 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
2650 Yes, I’m aware it’s not round. 1.2340 0.05542 94 77 12 5
2651 Protect yourself against cyber attacks. 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
2652 Perhaps you should go back to just wearing a mask. 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
2653 Because at 10 o'clock HR wants an explanation. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2654 Your pike, sir? I'm sorry, sir, it's in the doorman. 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
2655 They lifted the mandate, but I'm erring on the side of caution. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
2656 It's my anti-harrassment suit. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2657 Will Smith has an appointment in half an hour 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2658 Mr. Smith says he's looking for work opportunities in kissing babies and cuddling dogs. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
2659 I'll tell your husband and children you are now ready to see them. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2660 So I said, "But the March numbers are terrible," and Bill said, "That's no reason to get up in arms." 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
2661 …and one of your new duties will be to shine my armor. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
2662 If you join us, you won't be climbing the ladder so much as you'll be scaling the walls. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
2663 Sharon, what is this? I asked for his head on a stake. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
2664 No, just until all personnel have had their booster. 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
2665 Not all knights have shining armor, you know. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2666 Sorry but purchasing said there isn't anything in the budget for a new horse 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
2667 Love your hair! 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2668 Still refuse to give up the mask? 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2669 Yes, I'm the flak catcher, what can I do for you? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2670 Jones, don’t panic but I have discovered a chink. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2671 Human Resources said it was okay to express my true self. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2672 And, finally, please addressing signing your memos "And to all a good knight." 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2673 Sir, I'm giving notice because I can't stand working nights. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2674 Great news Sir Galahad. King Arther’s PA called and says you can transfer back to Camelot. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2675 I told the Editor that I was a specialist in writing about "amour" but I made a typo. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2676 I’m just concerned you’re not taking these reports on local dragon activity seriously. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2677 Dilbert just really isn't scratching that itch these days 1.2330 0.05200 103 84 14 5
2678 I thought you advertised for night workers. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2679 While I appreciate your efforts to comply with management’s mask mandate I think it’s time to take it down a notch. 1.2330 0.05200 103 84 14 5
2680 You win, I’ll go as Lady Guinevere.“ 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
2681 No coffee for me, thanks. My drawbridge has rusted shut. 1.2330 0.05200 103 84 14 5
2682 Check back in the morning, I’m just the knight clerk. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2683 I’m here for the 9am Zoom meeting. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2684 Didn't I tell you? I'm working knights. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2685 The IRS has arrived for your audit sir. 1.2329 0.06621 73 61 7 5
2686 I forgot the axe at home, but you're fired. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
2687 I'll review this at the round table. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
2688 I am sorry Sir, but the squeaky noise is disturbing the staff 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2689 I’m sorry, I thought you meant “night” work. 1.2329 0.06621 73 61 7 5
2690 I've received a complaint that states you referred to a wyvern as a dragon. Is this true? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2691 Thor just quit and we got no one to cover his shift. Any ideas, Iron Man? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2692 I’m not being defensive! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2693 I finally decided to bring my whole self to work. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2694 Working from home was getting too dangerous,so I decided to return to the office. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2695 I just don't think you're cut out for the kind of work on the knight shift. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2696 Wait, this isn't suitable attire? 1.2329 0.06621 73 61 7 5
2697 Well, I snickered when they told me I'd have to have a 'hard personal shell on me' to do this job, but I never guessed that they were just underplaying it. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2698 Go ahead and hit me with what you've got. I'm ready for it. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
2699 It's the schedule for the games, sir. Jousting is not until 4:00... tomorrow. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2700 Arlene, do you have anything for knight's foot? 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2701 I see you’ve upgraded your mask. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
2702 The resemblance between you and me only goes so far. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
2703 My preferred pronouns are thei, theim, thēr. 1.2326 0.05889 86 71 10 5
2704 Ha! This armor is impervious to your icy stare. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
2705 How's the knight shift treatin' ya? 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
2706 It's Ruth sir. Not Lady Guenivere. Ruth. 1.2326 0.05889 86 71 10 5
2707 The price of vellum and medieval fonts has skyrocketed. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2708 Yes, I am aware of the spelling error in the employee manual regarding knight shifts. 1.2326 0.05889 86 71 10 5
2709 Stop calling me Cinderella. 1.2323 0.05529 99 82 11 6
2710 Sir, I know we're downsizing, but don't you think you could be a bit more compassionate during the exit interviews? 1.2323 0.05339 99 81 13 5
2711 Yes, we’ll be working nights for the foreseeable future 1.2323 0.05529 99 82 11 6
2712 So the 'knight in shining armor' return-to-office perk was real. 1.2323 0.05339 99 81 13 5
2713 You don't have to work at knight. 1.2323 0.05529 99 82 11 6
2714 If we get audited, at least I'll be protected. 1.2321 0.04203 112 87 24 1
2715 We'll be meeting at the Round Table to discuss this. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
2716 I'm not vaccinated for Covid, so.... 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
2717 I said your business style is Medievle, not you're Medievle. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
2718 No, we have not had any trouble with hiring practices. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
2719 NIGHT shift,I said" 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
2720 Whaddaya mean “it’s hard to get through to me” 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
2721 I think it's time we called it a night 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
2722 We don't need an accountant, but we are looking to hire a jouster. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
2723 Lois, I called you into my office to issue you a warning. It’s about your choice of workplace attire...... 1.2317 0.06086 82 68 9 5
2724 The slings and arrows won’t hurt but I wasn’t prepared for this cartoon 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2725 Is this the Biden PR Department? 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
2726 Who are you, the business expense queen? 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2727 I’ve made an ironclad decision! 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2728 Say “Good evening” if you must, Evelyn, but I prefer when you say it the other way. 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
2729 Gee, I never thought of you as my Knight in Shining Armor. How about that raise? 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
2730 The front desk wasn't convinced that wearing a mask would prevent the virus from spreading. 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
2731 Oh I thought it was gender kneutral 1.2317 0.06328 82 69 7 6
2732 My armor's not shiny enough for whatever you're asking. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2733 Sorry, we don't have a civil rights department. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2734 You call that shining armor? You better buff up quick Henry. 1.2316 0.04601 95 74 20 1
2735 What's that old saying—something about pens and swords? 1.2316 0.05883 95 80 8 7
2736 I'll need an alibi...something airtight. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2737 The work on the moat must not be delayed! 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
2738 I am so tired of wearing this--is the mail here yet? 1.2313 0.04431 147 121 18 8
2739 I'm almost ready to face the reporters. 1.2308 0.05863 91 76 9 6
2740 What's this talk about an iron horse? 1.2308 0.04961 91 72 17 2
2741 I know you're a