Contest #792


Cartoon

792

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “So far, it looks like no one is coming to the recital.”
  2. “Most fans sympathize with our decision to eat the cellist.”
  3. “O.K., we have a catchy theme song. Now let’s work on food and shelter.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2022-02-27T05:05:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2022-03-13T05:05:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2022-03-07T05:05:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued March 14, 2022
Number of captions 5240
Number of responses 782090
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 It seems someone else wrote a song called "HELP" 1.8127 0.01452 3129 1379 957 793
1 ‘Good news, you got into Juilliard’ 1.8084 0.01307 3763 1638 1208 917
2 These reviews are all terrible, but 'washed up' really hurts. 1.7812 0.01227 4378 2026 1284 1068
3 It says the first five bottle messages were free, but if we want the rest of the composition we need a paid subscription. 1.7775 0.01820 1834 806 630 398
4 If you no longer wish to receive these messages, check unsubscribe and place in the bottle labeled return. 1.7759 0.01130 4887 2196 1590 1101
5 This one suggests we move to a major key. 1.7719 0.01556 2538 1135 847 556
6 We're saved! They're coming to tune the piano! 1.7583 0.01635 2313 1062 748 503
7 We have been trying to reach you regarding your piano's extended warranty. 1.7533 0.01487 2890 1367 869 654
8 We could win an island vacation! 1.7527 0.01303 3744 1767 1136 841
9 Please rate your cruise on a scale of 1-10. 1.7519 0.01152 4853 2314 1429 1110
10 'We're lost at C.' 1.7518 0.01434 3179 1531 906 742
11 The reviews are in. 'Her new work is engaging yet remote' 1.7456 0.01636 2256 1041 748 467
12 Knopp & Knopp Attorneys LLC, representing the estates of Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II, wish to remind you once again that no music or lyrics from “South Pacific” may be performed without the express consent of the rights holders. 1.7411 0.01532 2565 1190 849 526
13 So far, it looks like no one is coming to the recital. 1.7378 0.01150 4523 2101 1507 915
14 Due to rising sea levels we are being advised to move further inland. 1.7229 0.01495 2717 1305 860 552
15 FINAL NOTICE: If payment is not recieved immediately the piano will be removed from your premises! 1.7217 0.01627 2271 1086 731 454
16 We never should have started taking requests. 1.7167 0.01707 2005 950 673 382
17 Great. The keys are in Florida. 1.7129 0.01742 2083 1043 595 445
18 Doesn't matter how many times Ikea sends the instructions, it never ends up as a boat! 1.7120 0.01491 2767 1364 836 567
19 Damn, I wish they'd sent the whole score in one bottle. 1.6915 0.01467 2619 1266 895 458
20 What we need is a good bridge. 1.6900 0.01663 2184 1103 655 426
21 It says: "You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish" 1.6830 0.01958 1637 855 446 336
22 Wouldn't you know? It's written for three voices. 1.6812 0.01649 2130 1064 681 385
23 Another ridiculous estimate to move the piano! 1.6790 0.01544 2433 1221 772 440
24 Nope, this one's for cello, too. 1.6730 0.01815 1676 826 572 278
25 It's from the couple on the next island. They like your playing but ask if you could please not play after 10 P.M. 1.6702 0.01623 2053 1005 720 328
26 And you said the credit card offers would stop if we relocated. 1.6677 0.01706 1935 973 632 330
27 Ode to joy. Who writes this crap. 1.6653 0.01737 1966 1022 580 364
28 The neighbors still want to know if we could practice elsewhere. 1.6621 0.01564 2252 1129 755 368
29 It's bad news. Elvis is dead. 1.6614 0.01294 3895 2153 908 834
30 All these useless messages are how to build a boat, catch a fish, light a signal fire, dig a well... but nothing about how to play the piano! 1.6594 0.01993 1421 725 455 241
31 Oh, great, your mother's coming to visit! 1.6589 0.01722 2014 1062 577 375
32 Shoot, this one is also for violin. 1.6586 0.02397 952 478 321 153
33 Next time they ask you, "What's the one thing you'd bring with you to a desert island," maybe you should say something about food and a boat? 1.6575 0.01673 2114 1111 616 387
34 We seem to be 94 bottles short of finishing the song 1.6556 0.01686 2041 1064 616 361
35 It's another one asking you to keep it down. 1.6550 0.01477 2481 1247 843 391
36 I'm sorry Linda,when they asked what I would bring to a desert island I thought it was a hypothetical. 1.6527 0.01624 2099 1072 684 343
37 I'm starting to think it was a bad idea to ask for requests. 1.6511 0.01559 2178 1089 760 329
38 Another critic who says we haven't been the same since we ate the guitar player. 1.6503 0.02639 855 456 242 157
39 The ship will come back for us if you promise to stop playing Baby Shark. 1.6493 0.02297 1092 573 329 190
40 All of these are for two pianos! 1.6476 0.01634 2080 1073 667 340
41 The neighbors say you're still too loud. 1.6452 0.01493 2528 1320 785 423
42 I guess Florida changed their mail-in-ballot rules. 1.6445 0.02500 903 472 280 151
43 This one is the theme song from “Gilligan’s Island” 1.6422 0.01794 1632 825 566 241
44 It's a violinist and a cellist asking if we need help. 1.6327 0.01676 1767 882 652 233
45 It's a guide to building a raft with piano parts" 1.6325 0.01859 1562 814 508 240
46 This one is from a guy in Bora Bora wanting to know if we need someone on bass. 1.6290 0.02053 1194 604 429 161
47 I'm just worried there won't be an audience for it. 1.6267 0.01760 1934 1075 506 353
48 Most fans sympathize with our decision to eat the cellist. 1.6246 0.01839 1894 1095 415 384
49 Thank God! We’re in arrears and piano company is coming to repossess tomorrow! 1.6246 0.01887 1742 990 416 336
50 They’re requesting something jauntier. 1.6188 0.01897 1726 990 404 332
51 We've won another vacation getaway. 1.6174 0.01905 1657 936 419 302
52 This is more off Broadway then we want. 1.6123 0.01922 1527 841 437 249
53 Nope, Handel's Water Music again. 1.6084 0.01893 1448 770 475 203
54 It is the overture from “South Pacific” again. 1.6078 0.01878 1428 749 490 189
55 Darn. This one's for cello too. 1.6040 0.02038 1346 748 383 215
56 It's from Neptune. He'd like to hear "Somewhere Beyond the Sea." 1.5975 0.02073 1118 584 400 134
57 We’re doomed. It’s a requiem. 1.5972 0.02059 1214 655 393 166
58 Message in a Bottle" by the Police again. How original 1.5957 0.02157 1123 612 353 158
59 We should've read the fine print before we picked the Florida Keys. 1.5932 0.02190 1143 640 328 175
60 Perhaps we should stop using music as our escape. 1.5929 0.02316 1147 681 252 214
61 Unfortunately, this doesn't end on a high note. 1.5909 0.02227 1117 631 312 174
62 Useless! Another piano tuning instruction sheet starting with 'make sure your piano is on a level surface...' 1.5897 0.02139 1104 598 361 145
63 They want more cowbell. 1.5892 0.02247 1093 618 306 169
64 The reef wants a coral arrangement. 1.5833 0.02374 1044 615 249 180
65 We heard your Moonlight Sonata as we sailed by. Thank you. 1.5806 0.02464 980 583 225 172
66 Always "Message in a Bottle." Never "We Gotta Get Out of This Place." 1.5780 0.02493 910 530 234 146
67 Why doesn't anyone ever put food in a bottle? 1.5771 0.02336 927 513 293 121
68 This is your final chance to renew your piano warranty. 1.5763 0.02484 930 547 230 153
69 They all say the same thing: Stop playing Chopsticks and we’ll pick you up. 1.5708 0.02380 918 520 272 126
70 If they can complain about the noise, why can't they come help us? 1.5707 0.02402 934 538 259 137
71 Imagine no possessions; it's easy if you try... 1.5693 0.02546 887 528 213 146
72 It’s another goddamn silly love song. 1.5683 0.02600 908 559 182 167
73 Do you remember getting a student loan from Juilliard? 1.5681 0.02555 903 545 203 155
74 Elise, this is for you. 1.5619 0.02625 767 444 215 108
75 This one says: 'Do you know any ABBA songs other than S.O.S?'" 1.5607 0.02569 856 512 208 136
76 They want to know if you take requests. 1.5601 0.02529 766 430 243 93
77 If you no longer wish to receive these updates, select the the "unsubscribe" option below and take our very brief questionnaire. 1.5595 0.02561 756 427 235 94
78 How about, instead of asking for sheet music, you ask for instructions on how to turn a piano into a raft? 1.5585 0.02609 743 424 223 96
79 I thought you said the IRS wouldn’t find us here 1.5583 0.02650 763 447 206 110
80 OK, we have a catchy theme song. Now let’s work on food and shelter. 1.5580 0.02599 785 458 216 111
81 I can’t believe all we’ve got are “Duets for Two Pianos.” 1.5576 0.02601 764 441 220 103
82 Jeeze — Didn’t Handl write anything that wasn’t “Water Music”? 1.5566 0.02617 778 456 211 111
83 Next, it says, attach white key F next to black key G-F. 1.5554 0.02598 758 437 221 100
84 They assume we know what Key we are on. 1.5522 0.02838 699 423 166 110
85 Our free music trial is over! They want our credit card number. 1.5521 0.02690 739 437 196 106
86 From your Mom again: “Just keep practicing; someday you’ll thank me.” 1.5507 0.02836 681 408 171 102
87 Sure wish I'd learned to read music. 1.5487 0.02685 698 404 205 89
88 The cruise line is still sorry and still wants us back to do matinees. 1.5484 0.02724 713 422 191 100
89 Some cockeyed optimist keeps sending songs from South Pacific! 1.5455 0.02761 660 384 192 84
90 “You say flotsam and I say jetsam. Let’s call the whole thing off.” 1.5455 0.02724 693 407 194 92
91 It says, they have been trying to reach us about our car’s extended warranty… 1.5455 0.02919 638 384 160 94
92 These estimates for tuning the piano are outrageous. 1.5424 0.02578 743 431 221 91
93 Another piano tuner turned us down. 1.5412 0.02792 656 387 183 86
94 Looks like we are in trebble. 1.5411 0.02785 693 418 175 100
95 I've found it! SOS by Abba 1.5386 0.02860 648 390 167 91
96 More piano music. What are the odds? 1.5380 0.02838 632 374 176 82
97 It's "Bridge Over Troubled Water." 1.5348 0.02863 617 366 172 79
98 It’s from the next island again, they’re asking if you know any other songs. 1.5346 0.02831 621 366 178 77
99 Who writes music in Sea Minor? 1.5334 0.03013 613 380 139 94
100 Yet another request for 'As Time Goes By.' 1.5329 0.02844 638 383 170 85
101 Another request to stop playing Heart and Soul. 1.5306 0.03057 571 349 141 81
102 ...this one isn't a request. The folks on the south atoll are wondering why we haven't used that thing to build a boat. 1.5306 0.02883 637 388 160 89
103 The castaways one island over have sent a noise complaint 1.5268 0.02980 615 382 142 91
104 Oh no, it is Bach's concerto for three pianos 1.5246 0.02904 568 335 168 65
105 It's no use, they are all for violin. 1.5241 0.02970 540 318 161 61
106 Who is this 'Mr. Crusoe' ? And why do we keep getting his mail? 1.5237 0.03103 548 337 135 76
107 It's from a lawyer. Stop playing copyrighted music. 1.5228 0.02979 591 363 147 81
108 When he said "off Broadway," I wish I'd asked him to be more specific. 1.5221 0.03272 521 329 112 80
109 This one says it's the audience that needs to be rescued. 1.5218 0.03041 550 334 145 71
110 If we get one more copy of Time in a Bottle, I'm going to drown myself. 1.5210 0.02976 547 326 157 64
111 This is the bank’s final notice. They’re coming tomorrow to repossess the piano. 1.5206 0.03099 559 348 131 80
112 This one says they recovered our tip jar. 1.5198 0.02929 556 330 163 63
113 It’s the final warning on the noise ordinance. 1.5181 0.03003 554 336 149 69
114 Your message is important to us. All of our rescuers are currently assisting other marooned. Please play a repeating loop of “calming” music and the next available rescuer will write you back shortly. 1.5160 0.03209 500 308 126 66
115 The New Yorker is here—Hey, and look! We're in this week's cartoon! 1.5142 0.03465 457 290 99 68
116 It says, if we don't make the next payment they'll take back the piano." 1.5124 0.03193 482 293 131 58
117 The raft is on back order. 1.5118 0.03171 508 314 128 66
118 I’m starting to wish we grabbed the survival kit instead. 1.5107 0.03162 515 320 127 68
119 Good news at last. Instructions on making fishing lures from piano wire. 1.5102 0.03155 490 298 134 58
120 The Beatles' *Help!* didn't work. Try *S.O.S.* by Abba. 1.5091 0.03269 493 310 115 68
121 Apparently some group called the Beatles already recorded it. 1.5069 0.03484 432 272 101 59
122 It's Juilliard, they insist we repay our student loans. 1.5055 0.03357 451 281 112 58
123 You were invited to play in Carnegie Hall back in 2010 1.5052 0.03236 479 297 122 60
124 It's the next verse...95 bottles of beer on the wall. 1.5043 0.03321 468 294 112 62
125 Just when we thought it couldn’t get worse. It’s written for viola. 1.5042 0.03140 476 288 136 52
126 Damn! Another piece for a trio. 1.5034 0.03477 443 283 97 63
127 Oh geez, it's another request for "Stayin' Alive". 1.5032 0.03155 473 287 134 52
128 We feel your score doesn't quite give us the deserted island feel we need. 1.5021 0.03141 476 289 135 52
129 Not the gig I had in mind when they said Island music 1.5020 0.03047 496 299 145 52
130 It’s from Steinway. It says “This is the sixth attempt to collect a debt due to non-payment on your recent …” 1.5010 0.03208 513 327 115 71
131 Arpeggio... archipelago... it was an honest mistake. 1.5000 0.03241 456 280 124 52
132 It's the Jaws theme again. 1.4989 0.03010 449 260 154 35
133 I think we read the instructions wrong. This doesn't look anything like a boat. 1.4989 0.03388 443 279 107 57
134 Another request for "Beyond the Sea" 1.4988 0.03360 429 265 114 50
135 When you said "let's play the Florida keys," I misunderstood. 1.4977 0.03317 442 274 116 52
136 Michael,row the boat ashore? 1.4969 0.03178 477 295 127 55
137 They want to know how you find time to practice. 1.4953 0.03365 428 266 112 50
138 We're stuck with the unresolved seventh until the next bottle arrives. 1.4948 0.03202 483 303 121 59
139 Oh, God, more changes? Tomorrow’s opening night! 1.4948 0.03212 481 302 120 59
140 It says they all live in a yellow submarine. 1.4940 0.03341 415 254 117 44
141 This is the sixth tuner to turn down the job. 1.4937 0.03482 395 245 105 45
142 we won a new car! 1.4927 0.03560 410 263 92 55
143 This is the fifth one from some guy called Beethoven 1.4925 0.03562 402 256 94 52
144 Our agent’s still trying to book us on another cruise ship. 1.4908 0.03282 434 268 119 47
145 Oh, come on now! Not the theme music for 'Gilligan's Island!' 1.4885 0.03314 434 271 114 49
146 This request comes from Tina in San Francisco. ‘Please play Bridge Over Troubled Waters’ 1.4884 0.03421 432 276 101 55
147 They’ll come if you stop. 1.4880 0.03454 416 264 101 51
148 Damn! This score calls for TWO grand pianos on a deserted island. 1.4871 0.03289 466 298 109 59
149 it's another noise complaint 1.4871 0.03399 425 269 105 51
150 When the Captain asked, I thought the "three things you want to take to the deserted island" question was just an ice-breaker. 1.4868 0.03363 417 260 111 46
151 This one is called "Show Me The Way To Go Home." 1.4856 0.03543 383 241 98 44
152 Etude after etude! Can't somebody stuff a bottle with a sonata? 1.4854 0.03346 445 284 106 55
153 Another one that just says ‘keep it down.’ 1.4851 0.03455 402 253 103 46
154 It says… we need more cow bell. 1.4848 0.03865 361 238 71 52
155 Well that's not helpful. This one says to "row row row your boat." 1.4843 0.03506 413 266 94 53
156 It says they lifted the mask mandate. 1.4828 0.03604 377 240 92 45
157 I wish we had learned how to read music. 1.4814 0.03606 403 264 84 55
158 Still no instructions on how to play it 1.4811 0.03523 397 254 95 48
159 The good news it’s a contract from a major recording label. The bad news is that we have to execute it via DocuSign. 1.4785 0.03368 395 245 111 39
160 Rejection #5. They say: "To much of an island 'vibe'." 1.4784 0.03438 393 247 104 42
161 More Captain and Tennille. I think we're being trolled. 1.4783 0.03504 368 229 102 37
162 Its a cease and desist letter from the Beach Boys. 1.4777 0.03517 381 241 98 42
163 I really think you ought to stop taking requests. 1.4775 0.03524 377 238 98 41
164 I know music is food for the soul, but some actual food would be nice. 1.4772 0.03470 373 232 104 37
165 The neighbors are still complaining. 1.4768 0.03532 367 230 99 38
166 This request comes from Alan in New Guinea. 1.4745 0.03555 392 254 90 48
167 It's your mother. Again. Reminding you to practice. 1.4728 0.03728 368 242 78 48
168 It's another request for us to extend our piano's warranty. 1.4694 0.03580 360 229 93 38
169 Holy Crap! $100,000. to move a god-damn piano. 1.4686 0.03680 382 254 77 51
170 Another one asking us to keep the noise down. 1.4680 0.03372 391 246 107 38
171 We're on the wrong key. 1.4675 0.04173 308 208 56 44
172 Same as all the others– "I Will Survive" 1.4663 0.03587 356 227 92 37
173 Still no Mozart. Just a confusing piece titled ‘How to build a seaworthy vessel out of your piano’. 1.4658 0.03501 380 244 95 41
174 At last - one that's out of copyright! 1.4653 0.03660 331 209 90 32
175 A request from a neighboring island, "Please tune the piano". 1.4649 0.03529 370 237 94 39
176 "Another bottle that doesn't contain the sheet music we asked for. 1.4641 0.03473 390 252 95 43
177 What?! The castaways next door got a tuba! 1.4633 0.03630 341 217 90 34
178 It's an urgent request for the theme song from 'Jaws'." 1.4631 0.04091 298 197 64 37
179 Bad news. We haven't paid any installments in six months, so they're coming to repossess it. 1.4629 0.03685 337 216 86 35
180 About that grand piano you posted on ebay -- do you deliver? 1.4625 0.03742 333 215 82 36
181 It says,”Play ‘Message in a Bottle’ “. 1.4622 0.03610 370 242 85 43
182 It's a bill from the piano tuner 1.4613 0.03776 323 208 81 34
183 It's the score for Stayin' Alive 1.4603 0.03605 365 238 86 41
184 I think someone is messing with us. It’s another “Row, row, row your boat.” 1.4599 0.03871 337 225 69 43
185 It's another reminder from our piano tuner. 1.4592 0.03410 355 221 105 29
186 We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty 1.4591 0.03971 318 212 66 40
187 This act isn’t getting us anywhere. 1.4587 0.03758 303 191 85 27
188 It says: “You’ve read your last complimentary article. Subscribe now for just $1 a week.” 1.4585 0.03882 325 215 71 39
189 And yet another copy of Jim Croce's "Time in a Bottle." 1.4578 0.03724 332 215 82 35
190 Another request for the Gilligan's Island theme song 1.4576 0.03765 330 215 79 36
191 This is best one yet. How to take a piano apart to built a boat. 1.4574 0.03645 376 251 78 47
192 Another request from the guy downwind for something more upbeat. 1.4571 0.03504 361 231 95 35
193 My name is misspelled in the program. 1.4560 0.03863 307 199 76 32
194 Oh good, it ends on a high note. 1.4556 0.03699 338 220 82 36
195 your fans are asking you to play louder 1.4556 0.03627 338 217 88 33
196 The recital is canceled? 1.4556 0.03704 360 240 76 44
197 From the neighbors again asking us to Please keep it down". 1.4552 0.04018 279 180 71 28
198 Nancy, I don’t think you can play your way out of this one. 1.4551 0.03696 323 207 85 31
199 More Schubert! Is he ever going to finish this? 1.4542 0.03815 306 197 79 30
200 It says they have been trying to reach me about my car's extended warranty 1.4532 0.03945 331 225 62 44
201 Oh great, another letter from a fourth grader asking for someone to write back. 1.4527 0.03789 296 188 82 26
202 How is it that your mother always knows where to find me? 1.4522 0.03825 314 205 76 33
203 Debussy’s La Mer. Cute. Real cute. 1.4522 0.03689 314 200 86 28
204 This one’s from the Steinways; be sure to tell the audience that piano’s a Baldwin 1.4520 0.03823 323 213 74 36
205 They're all requesting the same thing - Time in a Bottle 1.4513 0.03806 339 227 71 41
206 It is another copy of South Pacific. 1.4512 0.03629 328 210 88 30
207 Oh no! It’s from Sting and the Police. They say ‘Message in a Bottle’ is their copyright. 1.4500 0.03887 340 232 63 45
208 It's from the people stranded on the next island over. They wonder if we can't keep the noise down. 1.4488 0.03596 332 213 89 30
209 Why is it ALWAYS something by The Beach Boys?! 1.4486 0.03671 350 232 79 39
210 Speaking as your agent - we should wait for a better offer. 1.4469 0.03409 358 228 100 30
211 All these messages ask the same thing: How the hell did you get that grand piano on such a tiny, deserted island? 1.4459 0.03875 314 209 70 35
212 Another request for “Don't Get Around Much Anymore”! 1.4458 0.03518 332 211 94 27
213 Well dang, this one’s a flute solo too. 1.4455 0.03833 330 222 69 39
214 Do you think I'm washed up as a musician? 1.4448 0.03902 290 189 73 28
215 They're voting the piano off the island. 1.4441 0.03830 313 207 73 33
216 Keep practicing, it's the only way we get discovered. 1.4428 0.03517 332 212 93 27
217 Oh god, it's "Baby Shark" again! 1.4424 0.03912 321 218 64 39
218 Geez, another request for "Message in a Bottle". 1.4408 0.03654 363 246 74 43
219 It’s a noise complaint. 1.4403 0.03841 293 191 75 27
220 They all say something about Florida Keys. 1.4402 0.03436 343 219 97 27
221 Its instructions on how to get Bach 1.4393 0.04010 305 208 60 37
222 Keep it down? 1.4385 0.03844 317 213 69 35
223 I know this is Australia, but your holding the music upside down. 1.4381 0.03987 299 202 63 34
224 You'd think at least one of these would be for piano. 1.4363 0.03791 314 209 73 32
225 I'm lost at middle sea. 1.4362 0.04107 298 206 54 38
226 Ominously, this one says it's a limited engagement. 1.4349 0.03561 292 183 91 18
227 This one says, “Please, please get that thing tuned or shut the heck up!” Actually, I think I might have sent that one. 1.4343 0.04158 274 186 57 31
228 “Someone requested you to play, A Bridge Over Troubled Waters.” 1.4340 0.04160 265 178 59 28
229 The people stranded two islands down say they're trying to sleep. 1.4337 0.03915 309 210 64 35
230 Finally—one that includes lyrics. 1.4332 0.03649 337 225 78 34
231 The piano tuner says they can come but they need our address. 1.4329 0.03730 298 194 79 25
232 Use the legs as oars. 1.4326 0.03719 319 212 76 31
233 Wouldn't you know it. Pages 8-9 are missing. 1.4322 0.03831 273 176 76 21
234 Another one by The Beach Boys. 1.4316 0.03752 285 184 79 22
235 The requests keep coming in waves 1.4307 0.03958 274 181 68 25
236 It says we can get $50 off fresh grocery delivery. 1.4303 0.04101 251 165 64 22
237 Sting is really taking this message in a bottle thing seriously. 1.4301 0.04012 272 181 65 26
238 They'll rescue us if we stop doing "Islands in the Stream" for all our encores. 1.4295 0.03877 298 200 68 30
239 He still thinks the second movement is too long and he still doesn't have a boat. 1.4291 0.03994 289 196 62 31
240 This one's from the piano tuner. Says he'll be here in 2029. 1.4286 0.03970 252 163 70 19
241 'It's asking if we can do a gig on New Year's Eve, 2010." 1.4280 0.04143 257 172 60 25
242 Apparently our neighbors are getting tired of the theme from 'Gilligan's Island.' 1.4272 0.03923 302 206 63 33
243 This is the overture we’ve been waiting for. 1.4262 0.03838 305 206 68 31
244 Can NO ONE keep time in a bottle?!” 1.4246 0.04093 285 197 55 33
245 Still nothing but high C's. 1.4242 0.04166 264 180 56 28
246 It took some effort,but I've scheduled the tuner for Friday. 1.4241 0.04103 257 172 61 24
247 The good news is you have been nominated for a Grammy. 1.4240 0.04029 250 164 66 20
248 Too bad we can't read music. 1.4221 0.04138 244 162 61 21
249 The piano tuner will be here Monday at 11 A.M. 1.4216 0.04015 268 180 63 25
250 It's a request for "Always Look On The Bright Side of Life" 1.4211 0.04252 228 151 58 19
251 The dolphins requested South Pacific again... 1.4209 0.03944 278 187 65 26
252 Our free lessons are over, but we can unsubscribe at any time. 1.4209 0.03844 278 184 71 23
253 It's an instruction manual on cannibalism. Do you want to read it or should I? 1.4206 0.04640 214 147 44 23
254 It says this is their last offer to rescue us - but only after we extend the warranty on our piano. 1.4205 0.04022 264 177 63 24
255 It’s the bill from the piano movers. 1.4202 0.03871 307 211 63 33
256 It's another complaint from the people in the tree. 1.4200 0.04221 250 170 55 25
257 It’s “Rescue Me”. Play it loud”. 1.4197 0.04084 274 188 57 29
258 This guy Schubert can never finish what he sends us. 1.4191 0.04335 241 165 51 25
259 This is from the island next door. They're complaining that the music is too loud. 1.4187 0.03865 289 195 67 27
260 It's another request from a shark for "Mack the Knife." 1.4177 0.04419 249 175 44 30
261 This one wants to know if you can play 'Message in a Bottle'. 1.4161 0.03986 286 197 59 30
262 Damn! The revised program now has you playing Mozart 448 . . . Sonata for Two Pianos!! 1.4156 0.04226 243 165 55 23
263 Finally, sheet music for a piano duet! 1.4156 0.04103 243 162 61 20
264 Not one of these is in my key! 1.4153 0.04203 248 169 55 24
265 Concerto No.1 in A Minor, Saint-Saens. Cello ordered arriving in separate shipment. Some delays may occur due to supply issues. 1.4153 0.04357 236 162 50 24
266 I heard you from my boat; your piano needs tuning. 1.4149 0.04042 241 159 64 18
267 Nope, this one's for violin too. 1.4148 0.04367 229 156 51 22
268 Nope - this one's for bagpipes too. 1.4147 0.04121 258 176 57 25
269 These look like requests from that cruise ship that just sailed by. 1.4142 0.03974 268 181 63 24
270 Another piano concerto, nothing for grass whistle. 1.4141 0.04526 227 158 44 25
271 Finally! Here's one with bottled up emotions! 1.4140 0.04377 215 144 53 18
272 These people keep thinking you are called “Elise” 1.4132 0.04029 242 160 64 18
273 The Jenkins are not going to be able to make it Saturday night. 1.4129 0.03833 264 174 71 19
274 The neighbors are complaining again... 1.4126 0.03826 286 193 68 25
275 Dear Sir, we have exciting news! From now on, we are going paperless and you can access all from your phone 1.4120 0.04224 233 157 56 20
276 We can still hear you. 1.4118 0.04161 238 160 58 20
277 Trouble on the High C’s 1.4115 0.04273 260 183 47 30
278 This one went to the wrong address. 1.4115 0.04100 243 163 60 20
279 Amazon says it'll be another week before the drone delivers the tip jar. 1.4111 0.03718 287 191 74 22
280 Well, Dang! It says here all these songs are copyrighted and may not be used without permission. 1.4109 0.04131 275 193 51 31
281 Dang, it's copyrighted. You can't play this one either. 1.4102 0.04357 256 182 43 31
282 It is a cease and desist letter from Sting. 1.4098 0.04404 244 172 44 28
283 We definitely built this wrong. 1.4098 0.04168 244 166 56 22
284 Another rejection. If you could write a song with a hook at least we could fish. 1.4089 0.04373 225 154 50 21
285 If you play it, they will come. 1.4084 0.04106 262 181 55 26
286 Darn, this is written for tuba! 1.4082 0.04073 245 165 60 20
287 The requests keep rolling in 1.4078 0.04151 255 176 54 25
288 It says a replacement will arrive in seven to ten business years. 1.4071 0.04098 253 173 57 23
289 Try Key Largo. 1.4069 0.04087 290 207 48 35
290 Not another trio... 1.4065 0.04259 246 171 50 25
291 It’s another noise complaint from the H.O.A. 1.4064 0.04347 251 178 44 29
292 The piano tuner will be here next Thursday. 1.4062 0.03909 256 171 66 19
293 This one is a request for the entire soundtrack from South Pacific. 1.4057 0.03802 281 190 68 23
294 More junk mail 1.4047 0.04050 257 176 58 23
295 It says, "Please try to keep it down." 1.4044 0.04126 272 192 50 30
296 They said to keep it down. 1.4043 0.04166 230 155 57 18
297 Looks like the mask mandate is being lifted. 1.4042 0.04129 240 163 57 20
298 The lag time for these remote lessons is unbelievable. 1.4034 0.04082 233 156 60 17
299 Another complaint about every song being in the key of Sea. 1.4034 0.03978 238 158 64 16
300 This one says, "Why don't you see if the darn thing floats." 1.4029 0.04553 206 142 45 19
301 Good news; Schubert did finish his symphony. 1.4025 0.04428 236 167 43 26
302 Oh, here’s one: Piano for Left Hand by Saint-Saens, Sans Audience 1.4024 0.04056 246 167 59 20
303 Play louder!!! 1.4018 0.04405 219 151 48 20
304 It's another song from the Yellow Submarine. 1.4017 0.04414 234 165 44 25
305 Always in the wrong Key. 1.4015 0.03918 269 184 62 23
306 Unable to deliver due to insufficient postage. 1.4009 0.04030 217 142 63 12
307 No rescue, but they like the music. 1.4008 0.04205 237 163 53 21
308 It's the same as the others- "Can you play 'Help!' by the Beatles. 1.4008 0.04032 237 159 61 17
309 Another request for you to stop playing! 1.4000 0.04065 245 167 58 20
310 Seems a passing cruise ship heard you play; it's a job offer to play in the lounge. 1.4000 0.04588 190 129 46 15
311 The neighbors say keep the music down. 1.4000 0.04099 235 159 58 18
312 It says our piano’s warranty is about to expire. 1.4000 0.04100 265 186 52 27
313 I hope we get this right before they rescue us. 1.3993 0.03531 288 190 81 17
314 More bad news…we just lost our liquor license! 1.3992 0.04088 243 166 57 20
315 Just another congratulatory note for our courage to pull our music off Spotify. 1.3992 0.04170 243 168 53 22
316 This one's a request for Happy Birthday going out to Amelia. 1.3992 0.04357 238 168 45 25
317 Dear Customer, beginning next month your subscription will become digital only! 1.3991 0.04616 223 160 37 26
318 Your mother says I told you so. 1.3991 0.04604 218 155 39 24
319 So much for the Florida keys. 1.3991 0.04589 213 150 41 22
320 Oh no, it's from the fat lady! 1.3990 0.04598 203 141 43 19
321 This one wants to know if we will play Ruby Tuesday 1.3984 0.04133 246 170 54 22
322 The IRS is once again demanding that tips be recorded as taxable income. 1.3983 0.04041 236 159 60 17
323 "Very interested in your submission. Please feel free to contact us for an appointment should you find yourself in New York." 1.3983 0.04085 236 160 58 18
324 Here’s a good one: ‘How to Turn Your Steinway into a Life Raft, in C sharp.’ 1.3968 0.04840 189 133 37 19
325 I am so tired of these messages from people stranded on Mara Lago. 1.3964 0.04357 222 154 48 20
326 ...and I think it's gonna be a long long time... 1.3963 0.04428 217 151 46 20
327 It looks like each member of the orchestra is stuck on a separate island. 1.3962 0.04503 212 148 44 20
328 Apparently we need to go back to the office soon 1.3962 0.04225 260 186 45 29
329 Finally! Bear Grylls’ instructions on how to make a raft out of a grand piano! 1.3958 0.04204 240 167 51 22
330 Oh, great ... Another threatening letter from ASCAP about copyright infringement. 1.3956 0.04724 182 125 42 15
331 This one says to put the lime in the coconut and mix it all up. 1.3949 0.04784 195 138 37 20
332 It says this is the last piano bar from here to Key West. 1.3946 0.04069 261 183 53 25
333 It's another takeout menu. 1.3938 0.04111 226 153 57 16
334 They keep writing to compose music that transports us. 1.3935 0.04292 216 148 51 17
335 Everyone’s a critic. 1.3930 0.04460 201 138 47 16
336 we might be in major treble 1.3930 0.04624 201 141 41 19
337 How could they know our piano is soon going off warranty? 1.3929 0.04184 224 153 54 17
338 There are too many notes here... 1.3925 0.04419 214 149 46 19
339 Another request for the theme from Castaway. 1.3925 0.04164 214 144 56 14
340 This one's complaining about the acoustics! 1.3923 0.04176 209 140 56 13
341 Congratulations! Your song is amazing. When can we meet? 1.3917 0.04031 240 164 58 18
342 ‘Play fortissimo, otherwise we can’t hear you from the Lido Deck.’ 1.3913 0.04627 207 147 39 21
343 Amazon wants to know how we like the piano. 1.3909 0.04203 243 171 49 23
344 Geesh! Another request for "Beyond the Sea" 1.3904 0.04176 228 157 53 18
345 Just more horizontal lines. 1.3889 0.04531 216 154 40 22
346 It’s another copy of My Heart Will Go On from “Titanic” 1.3886 0.04161 229 158 53 18
347 It's just another message for Elise. 1.3874 0.04530 222 160 38 24
348 I'll stop reading aloud when you stop playing the piano! 1.3873 0.04239 204 138 53 13
349 They want us to keep it down. 1.3868 0.04392 212 148 46 18
350 It's another request to stop playing. 1.3865 0.04414 207 144 46 17
351 There is a reason this lyrics-in-a-bottle.com service is free. 1.3860 0.04077 228 156 56 16
352 We're sorry to inform you that your subscription to "Floating Bottle Notes Monthly" has been cancelled! 1.3859 0.04055 241 167 55 19
353 No offense but every song you compose sounds like a cry for help. 1.3852 0.04224 244 174 46 24
354 These are all really good offers, but nobody yet has a boat they want to trade. 1.3846 0.04013 221 149 59 13
355 Man, these IKEA instructions are so hard to understand. This does not look like anything like a boat. 1.3842 0.04629 190 133 41 16
356 I can't read this stuff either. Maybe we should've grabbed a life raft instead. 1.3840 0.04144 237 166 51 20
357 Still no note from the piano tuner. 1.3827 0.04584 196 138 41 17
358 This is what we get for not learning a second language. 1.3824 0.04232 204 139 52 13
359 I’ve read our reviews. They say we’re all washed up. 1.3816 0.04408 207 145 45 17
360 The reviews are in... and they're not great. 1.3814 0.04127 194 129 56 9
361 Wait! What do you mean it's unfinished? 1.3814 0.04499 194 135 44 15
362 It’s all John Cage. 1.3812 0.04699 202 146 35 21
363 I wish they'd use something other than soda bottles, I'm getting tired of all these pop songs. 1.3807 0.04818 176 124 37 15
364 It's another negative review. This one suggests we rescue ourselves by using the piano as a flotation device." 1.3802 0.04530 192 134 43 15
365 I thought you paid this bill! 1.3801 0.04352 221 157 44 20
366 It says play this section in the key of sea ... 1.3795 0.04355 224 160 43 21
367 It's the terms and conditions. They're demanding royalty payments. 1.3793 0.04246 232 165 46 21
368 Darn! None of them are in the key of "C." 1.3792 0.03838 240 163 63 14
369 Keep playing! We’re almost at the bridge! 1.3788 0.04712 198 143 35 20
370 It’s an overdue notice for payment on our getaway vacation 1.3784 0.04519 185 128 44 13
371 It's another request for the Gilligan's Island Theme Song. 1.3779 0.04259 217 152 48 17
372 This request is quite old. It's from a "Rick" in Casablanca. 1.3777 0.04951 188 138 29 21
373 I hate those do it yourself instructions, this was supposed to be a boat! 1.3777 0.04716 188 134 37 17
374 Duunnn dunnn… duuuunnnn duun… dun dun dun dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn dunnnn. 1.3777 0.04468 188 130 45 13
375 You’re not going to believe it. Looks like another request for “Help” by the Beatles. 1.3768 0.04294 207 144 48 15
376 Beth, I hate to disappoint you, but this music is all written for the banjo. 1.3763 0.04371 194 134 47 13
377 Another request for Sweet Caroline. Yep, we’re definitely in hell. 1.3757 0.04907 181 131 32 18
378 Next, gently turn the tuning hammer and adjust each peg. 1.3756 0.04265 205 142 49 14
379 The CDC has issued new guidance for attending outdoor concerts. 1.3750 0.04603 176 122 42 12
380 Oh great, another score of "The Wreck of the Edumnd Fitzgerald." 1.3750 0.04395 200 140 45 15
381 They're all wanting to hear 'Rhapsody in Blue' as your encore. 1.3750 0.04350 224 161 42 21
382 I think we built the boat wrong. 1.3750 0.04827 168 118 37 13
383 It says, “Anything by Billy Joel.” 1.3745 0.03979 235 163 56 16
384 Well, who'd of guessed? Another sea shanty! 1.3744 0.03971 219 149 58 12
385 Five identical copies of the Macarena. There must be a cruise ship nearby. 1.3744 0.04703 195 141 35 19
386 They’re all arranged for quartets. 1.3732 0.04038 209 142 56 11
387 Hmm - it says here performance rights fees are incurred irrespective of the audience size. 1.3731 0.04377 201 141 45 15
388 Ok, here’s a request for Time in a Bottle 1.3731 0.04544 201 144 39 18
389 I really don't care that you bought this island for a song. 1.3730 0.04639 185 131 39 15
390 This is the wrong key. 1.3723 0.04115 231 163 50 18
391 Just another take out menu! 1.3722 0.04663 180 127 39 14
392 It wasn't until Maude and John were stranded with their "one desert island items" that they realized how incompatible they were. 1.3721 0.05156 172 127 26 19
393 Another one for you, Elise. 1.3713 0.04302 202 141 47 14
394 Rachmaninoff Sonata #2? They must think we have all the time in the world. 1.3704 0.03883 243 169 58 16
395 They are all the same advertisements for online piano lessons. 1.3702 0.04377 208 148 43 17
396 Now that I’m sober, these lyrics do seem awfully stupid. 1.3702 0.04508 181 126 43 12
397 Maybe I should've been more specific. Everyone just keeps sending the sheet music to Help! 1.3699 0.04930 173 125 32 16
398 You’d think after 6 months the Bottle of the Month Club would have sent us some decent sheet music. 1.3694 0.05135 157 113 30 14
399 It says "Put the lid up". 1.3692 0.04237 214 151 47 16
400 Finally, an invitation from Carnegie. 1.3691 0.04176 233 167 46 20
401 You know, you’re pretty talented for a hallucination. 1.3690 0.04667 168 117 40 11
402 Sting, again. 1.3677 0.04016 223 155 54 14
403 I sent a message saying "We need help," and now someone is sending the complete score to the Beatles' Help. 1.3673 0.04676 196 143 34 19
404 It says the strings will arrive in the next delivery. 1.3667 0.04182 210 147 49 14
405 Some jerk requests YMCA. 1.3660 0.04652 194 141 35 18
406 It’s a final warning about the noise. 1.3660 0.04355 194 136 45 13
407 It's another eviction notice - they can't stand the noise! 1.3656 0.04284 186 128 48 10
408 Spooky. This request is directly to you, Sam. It's from Morocco, dated 1942. 1.3654 0.04423 208 150 40 18
409 It’s from people in a yellow submarine again. 1.3653 0.04062 219 153 52 14
410 My God Susan, it’s a duet! 1.3652 0.04621 178 126 39 13
411 We've been trying to reach you about your paino's extended warranty. 1.3649 0.04220 211 149 47 15
412 Why do people keep sending us sheet music? 1.3646 0.04360 181 125 46 10
413 How many times I gotta tell this guy − we don't need a drummer? 1.3645 0.04383 214 155 40 19
414 You’ve been invited to play Carnegie Hall …tomorrow. 1.3645 0.04433 214 156 38 20
415 None of these is the right note. 1.3642 0.04921 173 126 31 16
416 OMG, we’ve found Mozart’s Lost Symphony! 1.3641 0.04832 184 135 31 18
417 This one's from a guy one island over. He goes by Thurston Howell and wants to know how much we want for the piano." 1.3641 0.04707 184 133 35 16
418 I don't know... It really has to be catchy if we're gonna get discovered. 1.3641 0.04447 184 129 43 12
419 It’s your parents again. 1.3641 0.04337 195 137 45 13
420 More sheet music for "Message in a Bottle". To whoever is doing this - it isn't funny, and Sting is over-rated! 1.3636 0.04246 209 148 46 15
421 It's an offer for a gig on a three Hour Tour. 1.3636 0.04239 231 168 42 21
422 Do you think we should? It's all copyrighted . . . 1.3636 0.04527 187 133 40 14
423 They're requests!!! 1.3636 0.04300 209 149 44 16
424 We've been signed by Island Records 1.3632 0.04411 212 154 39 19
425 Ohmigod! It's Beethoven's 10th! 1.3631 0.04954 168 122 31 15
426 OMG, it's instructions on how to turn a piano into a boat! 1.3626 0.04819 171 123 34 14
427 They sent me the wrong sheet music agian! 1.3619 0.04175 210 148 48 14
428 It says here, 'You'll enjoy your own, private island with sunshine, palm trees, live music, and privacy. Aloha!' 1.3618 0.04213 199 139 48 12
429 These are all no good. They're for two pianos. 1.3614 0.04344 202 144 43 15
430 Do you know Cry Me a River? 1.3610 0.04409 205 148 40 17
431 Another advertisement for piano tuning. 1.3606 0.04309 208 149 43 16
432 Stop playing! This one’s also under copyright. 1.3604 0.04301 197 139 45 13
433 Now they want you to play, "Sweet Caroline". 1.3602 0.04266 211 151 44 16
434 Consider this your fifth notice from your HOA that piano playing is forbidden between the hours of 10 p.m. and 10 a.m." 1.3600 0.04314 200 142 44 14
435 And here's another one with no return address. 1.3600 0.04524 175 123 41 11
436 And this is one I threw in the ocean ten years ago. 1.3600 0.04451 175 122 43 10
437 Finally! The Coda. 1.3591 0.04690 181 131 35 15
438 Showtunes! Showtunes. . . all they wanna hear is showtunes! 1.3589 0.04015 209 145 53 11
439 Witness Protection wants to move us again. 1.3583 0.04518 187 134 39 14
440 Nope, this one is for the brass section. 1.3583 0.04323 187 131 45 11
441 Why are the lyrics always in Italian? 1.3580 0.04783 176 128 33 15
442 A six-year-old in Miami hopes we have a good day. 1.3579 0.04529 190 137 38 15
443 Damn. Another request for "Message in a Bottle." 1.3578 0.04063 218 154 50 14
444 "Damn. Three part harmony." 1.3564 0.04434 188 134 41 13
445 “The humpbacks want more show tunes.” 1.3560 0.04689 191 141 32 18
446 I hate these ads for the Neptune Society. 1.3560 0.04689 191 141 32 18
447 This request is from Neptune. He'd like to hear John Philip Sousa's "Hands Across the Sea" march. 1.3558 0.04023 208 145 52 11
448 And this request is for "How Deep is the Ocean? 1.3557 0.04459 194 140 39 15
449 We’re getting a lot of notes. 1.3545 0.04330 220 162 38 20
450 Diane says she can’t make the recital. 1.3545 0.04184 220 159 44 17
451 It's another list of requests! 1.3545 0.04219 189 132 47 10
452 And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar and say, 'Man, what are you doing here?' 1.3545 0.04478 189 136 39 14
453 Do you ever wish we had built a boat instead? 1.3543 0.04657 175 126 36 13
454 You'd think the Police could do more than send out an S O S. 1.3543 0.04514 175 124 40 11
455 "Planned Parenthood. The ACLU. Doctors Without Borders. ProPublica. The Audubon Society. NPR. The Sierra Club. People for the American Way. Greenpeace... Why can't someone just ask for a damned song?" 1.3539 0.04389 178 125 43 10
456 It’s a cease and desist from Sting 1.3539 0.04601 178 128 37 13
457 It says our music is outside the mainstream. 1.3538 0.04320 195 139 43 13
458 It's another Cease and Desist Letter. 1.3537 0.05358 147 109 24 14
459 Six returned rejection letters made it here and not one boat? 1.3533 0.04420 167 116 43 8
460 Just another note from my student loan servicer that I am overdue on my payments 1.3533 0.04429 184 131 41 12
461 If only one of us could read music 1.3533 0.04561 184 133 37 14
462 They're repossessing the piano...we're saved! 1.3529 0.05284 153 114 24 15
463 Another one claiming supply chain problems with the F Sharp string. 1.3525 0.05193 139 100 29 10
464 It’s a requiem. 1.3523 0.04285 193 137 44 12
465 You may not see the humor in this but I must have written “request” instead of “rescue.” Do you happen to know Stormy Weather? 1.3520 0.04648 179 130 35 14
466 Finally, one that lends itself to lyrics. 1.3520 0.04511 179 128 39 12
467 I swear I ordered the sheet music for SOS not Dancing Queen! 1.3518 0.04256 199 142 44 13
468 Yeah, it's another "Time in a Bottle". 1.3516 0.04850 182 136 28 18
469 Still the same notes but now the lyrics say "94 bottles of beer on the wall.." 1.3515 0.04694 165 118 36 11
470 Oh great, another sea shanty. 1.3514 0.04273 185 130 45 10
471 As a reminder, quiet hours are between 10 pm and 7 am. 1.3512 0.04787 168 122 33 13
472 Damn! Another rejection letter from Julliard. 1.3505 0.04267 194 138 44 12
473 " If they do not receive a payment by the fifth they will be forced to take it back." 1.3500 0.04693 180 132 33 15
474 But ours will be the only true deserted island album. 1.3497 0.04730 163 117 35 11
475 It's a cease and desist letter from Desert Island Records. 1.3495 0.04583 186 136 35 15
476 You've lost that loving feeling 1.3492 0.04341 189 135 42 12
477 I think we have a major problem. 1.3491 0.04763 169 123 33 13
478 it needs something...if only the horn section had made it to the lifeboat... 1.3490 0.04660 192 143 31 18
479 The piano tuner says he can’t come this month. 1.3488 0.04557 172 123 38 11
480 Can you play “Rhapsody in Blue”. 1.3485 0.04325 198 143 41 14
481 We’ve been asked to keep the noise down. 1.3483 0.04521 178 128 38 12
482 You'll like this one. It's a sea shanty. 1.3478 0.04429 161 112 42 7
483 We’ve been trying to reach you about your piano’s warranty. 1.3476 0.04705 164 118 35 11
484 How can all of these be Baby Shark? 1.3473 0.04568 167 119 38 10
485 It Says " Sixth verse, same as the first". 1.3473 0.04489 167 118 40 9
486 This one is from Royal Albert Hall. I say we skip and wait for Carnegie. 1.3472 0.04212 193 137 45 11
487 They say you should stop 'playing like nobody is listening.'" 1.3468 0.04681 173 126 34 13
488 Manilow... AGAIN! 1.3464 0.04569 179 130 36 13
489 Get your pearls. You are invited to play at Carnegie Hall! 1.3459 0.04465 185 134 38 13
490 The critics say "she really catches the loneliness and despair of the restless urban lifestyle". 1.3459 0.04783 185 139 28 18
491 I don’t think the bridge will be long enough. 1.3459 0.04635 159 113 37 9
492 Just our luck ... they are all for trombone and flute. 1.3455 0.04521 165 117 39 9
493 I'm sick of this; I have requests of my own. 1.3448 0.04068 203 144 48 11
494 She likes the price but asks if we can deliver. 1.3446 0.04740 177 131 31 15
495 Sting is still not happy with the bass line rhythm and chords 1.3443 0.04496 183 133 37 13
496 If we get one more Bach Cantata so help me I’m going to shove the piano into a bottle. 1.3442 0.04994 154 113 29 12
497 Nope, not for you. It's another one for Elise. 1.3439 0.04583 189 140 33 16
498 Yet another piece in sea minor. 1.3431 0.04339 204 150 38 16
499 Well, we're not going to be rescued until you learn 'Help!'. 1.3430 0.04692 172 126 33 13
500 No, babe, I got this. Trust me. 1.3429 0.04492 175 126 38 11
501 We've been trying to reach you about your extended warranty 1.3425 0.04790 181 136 28 17
502 Sorry, still no luck... this is the trombone part. 1.3425 0.04389 181 130 40 11
503 Sure they mean well, but they send us the same damn song every year. 1.3419 0.04617 155 110 37 8
504 They're all in the key of SEA! 1.3416 0.04253 202 147 41 14
505 The Times' critic panned us, too. 1.3413 0.04788 167 123 31 13
506 It's a royalty dunning notice. 1.3413 0.04712 167 122 33 12
507 Tuning Pianos - Step One... 1.3412 0.04071 211 152 46 13
508 The lyrics are instructions on how to build a boat out of a piano. 1.3412 0.04501 170 122 38 10
509 It's just another offer to extend our piano's warranty. 1.3412 0.04344 170 120 42 8
510 Washed-up musician, seeking salvation in the Bottle 1.3410 0.04597 173 126 35 12
511 I'm starting to understand the scale of our predicament. 1.3409 0.04091 176 122 48 6
512 Music, he can read. But maps… 1.3408 0.04694 179 133 31 15
513 They want the piano back 1.3406 0.05091 138 100 29 9
514 They like it but think it is a little derivative. 1.3405 0.04520 185 136 35 14
515 Damn you, Sting! It's just another copy of the lyrics to 'Message in a Bottle." 1.3404 0.04717 188 142 28 18
516 Belive it or not, it's the music for "Time in a Bottle". 1.3402 0.04551 194 145 32 17
517 It's a siren song....should we risk it? 1.3401 0.04679 147 104 36 7
518 Instead of assistance we keep getting requests. 1.3400 0.04714 150 107 35 8
519 It's nothing much, really. Just another score to settle 1.3400 0.04900 150 109 31 10
520 ANOTHER VIOLIN SONATA ? 1.3397 0.04592 156 111 37 8
521 And yet another request for “La Mer”. 1.3394 0.04669 165 120 34 11
522 Damn! The rest of the orchestra can't make it! 1.3394 0.04255 165 115 44 6
523 What kind of sadist would send us the theme song to 'Gilligan's Island? 1.3391 0.04787 174 130 29 15
524 Of all things, why was a piano your third pick? 1.3390 0.04449 177 128 38 11
525 This one says you lack passion in your interpretation of Mozart. 1.3388 0.04418 183 133 38 12
526 Our luck is running out... This is a sonata for piano AND violin 1.3387 0.04627 186 139 31 16
527 Nope, sorry dear, it’s another Pachelbel’s Canon. 1.3386 0.04512 189 140 34 15
528 It's the latest world news. We're lucky to be here. 1.3386 0.05150 127 91 29 7
529 The neighbors keep insisting: ‘would you PLEASE stop playing the Jaws theme when we are out swimming?!’ 1.3377 0.04980 154 114 28 12
530 This last request is for the Gilligan’s Island theme song. 1.3374 0.04541 163 117 37 9
531 Another cruise line seeking undiscovered talent. 1.3371 0.04553 175 128 35 12
532 It's another song request. This time for Blondie's 'The Tide Is High'" 1.3367 0.04569 196 148 30 18
533 I wish we hadn't eaten Henry, I can't whistle flute and piccolo at the same time. 1.3367 0.04211 196 142 42 12
534 This one’s just a menu. 1.3355 0.04568 152 108 37 7
535 It's another offer for an extended warranty on the piano. 1.3355 0.05119 155 117 24 14
536 Again...only the horn section 1.3354 0.04837 164 122 29 13
537 Damn. Pachelbel again. 1.3353 0.04776 167 124 30 13
538 This one is called "Ode to Wilson." 1.3352 0.04262 179 128 42 9
539 Again, it starts with a high C. 1.3333 0.04290 177 127 41 9
540 Homesick Blues? Now they’re just messing with us. 1.3333 0.04543 171 125 35 11
541 oh no another request for Stranger On The Shore 1.3333 0.04465 162 116 38 8
542 Your one thing was a piano?! 1.3333 0.04437 177 129 37 11
543 It says the piano can be used as a flotation device, as long as you know how to play Row Row your Boat. 1.3333 0.04718 177 133 29 15
544 Evidently we’re smack dab in the middle of an instrumental current. 1.3333 0.05079 153 115 25 13
545 And this one is for flute. I must've used the piano part to start the fire. 1.3333 0.04578 156 112 36 8
546 Ah, finally! Some Rachmaninoff' 1.3333 0.04364 177 128 39 10
547 It says “louder please.” 1.3333 0.04403 150 105 40 5
548 Another damn sonata! Where are the cantatas? 1.3333 0.04698 150 108 34 8
549 We can toss this one. Seems to be only the last movement of Schubert's 8th Symphony but there's no score for piano. 1.3333 0.04594 180 134 32 14
550 Nope, none of this is piano music. Guess you'll just have to fake it. 1.3333 0.04437 177 129 37 11
551 Oh no! We need to be quarantined! 1.3333 0.05079 153 115 25 13
552 Relax. I don’t think we have to worry about copyright infringement out here. 1.3333 0.04777 159 117 31 11
553 Play it with more despair. 1.3333 0.05121 144 107 26 11
554 Okay,here's a tune you know. 1.3333 0.04792 141 101 33 7
555 It’s just another score for “Don’t Stop Believin.’” 1.3333 0.04928 144 105 30 9
556 Gosh darn it, another solo flute piece. 1.3316 0.04338 187 137 38 12
557 You gotta be kidding me! It's the sheet music to "Don't worry, be happy". 1.3315 0.04453 184 136 35 13
558 Next week on America’s Amazing Got Survivor Talent Song Contest 1.3314 0.04612 175 130 32 13
559 Ode to Joy? Strange ... 1.3314 0.04241 175 125 42 8
560 Are you kidding me? Guess what piece of music by Claude Debussy my ex-wife sent! 1.3314 0.04874 169 128 26 15
561 And I thought I'd never get tired of hearing this song. 1.3313 0.04527 163 118 36 9
562 This one goes out to all the ladies who have loved and lost a man at sea 1.3313 0.04752 160 118 31 11
563 They’re all encouraging you to go solo. 1.3313 0.04583 160 116 35 9
564 Oh great, more sheet music for "Come Sail Away." 1.3312 0.04642 157 114 34 9
565 Another one that says we play too loud after 10pm! 1.3312 0.04463 157 112 38 7
566 Would you believe it’s an ad for piano movers? 1.3312 0.05134 154 117 23 14
567 Dammit, this one’s piano accompaniment for Soprano, too! 1.3311 0.04925 148 109 29 10
568 Hmm. So it’s NOT ‘Hold me closer, Tony Danza!’ 1.3309 0.05119 136 100 27 9
569 Try turning it upside down like we did with the map. 1.3307 0.05483 127 95 22 10
570 It's another one for the cello. 1.3299 0.04244 197 145 39 13
571 Oh, no, not another "As Time Goes By"! 1.3298 0.04207 191 139 41 11
572 It's from the IRS. We're being audited. 1.3295 0.04717 173 130 29 14
573 Nope. This one is for the viola section. 1.3291 0.04529 158 114 36 8
574 ...and the requests just keep coming! 1.3291 0.04617 158 115 34 9
575 Wants to know if we need a trumpet player. 1.3290 0.04853 155 115 29 11
576 The concertmaster writes: "Improvise a cadenza until we arrive." 1.3289 0.04897 149 110 29 10
577 If we can't pay for his songs he wants his bottles back. 1.3288 0.05061 146 109 26 11
578 Unbelievable. They’re all requests. 1.3287 0.04839 143 104 31 8
579 Damn. This is Debussy's "La Mer." 1.3287 0.05039 143 106 27 10
580 These are all in the wrong key! 1.3282 0.05247 131 97 25 9
581 It says, "play louder." 1.3279 0.04112 183 131 44 8
582 That damn Schubert! Where's the last page? 1.3276 0.04694 174 131 29 14
583 Apparently, I’m not the only one who hates your piano playing 1.3275 0.04454 171 125 36 10
584 ' It's another copy of 'Freebird' 1.3272 0.04536 162 118 35 9
585 Apparently 'The Beach Boys' is already taken 1.3270 0.04505 159 115 36 8
586 We could really use a bridge right here 1.3267 0.04960 150 112 27 11
587 They want to know if you can play “Stardust.” 1.3265 0.04063 196 142 44 10
588 This sheet is addressed to you, Elise. Somebody knows we're here! 1.3264 0.04389 144 101 39 4
589 It's time we faced the music. 1.3264 0.05009 144 107 27 10
590 The neighbors are asking you to play something else for a change. 1.3263 0.04147 190 138 42 10
591 Finally - a piece for four hands!! 1.3262 0.05278 141 107 22 12
592 It’s Lucy Van Pelt. She’s asking if I don’t regret choosing you over her. 1.3260 0.04561 181 136 31 14
593 These are all oldies. 1.3259 0.05239 135 101 24 10
594 If I could save time in a bottle it would be better than this. 1.3258 0.04404 178 131 36 11
595 It's more sheet music for bagpipes... 1.3256 0.04354 172 125 38 9
596 It's page 6 -- what happened to page 5! 1.3254 0.04639 169 126 31 12
597 Your submission does not meet our publication needs at this time. 1.3252 0.04836 163 123 27 13
598 Another courtesy message about our piano warranty! 1.3252 0.04428 163 118 37 8
599 It looks like suffering doesn't necessarily lead to great art. 1.3250 0.05314 120 88 25 7
600 The closest islanders still think your Mozart needs more Allegro. 1.3247 0.04279 194 144 37 13
601 This is kind of catchy. Baby shark, doo, doo, doo, doo,doo, do 1.3246 0.04450 191 144 32 15
602 We’re not leaving till we get it right!! 1.3243 0.04909 148 110 28 10
603 Will they understand this is a real S.O.S and not just a piano cover of "Message in a Bottle?" 1.3243 0.05002 148 111 26 11
604 Hum a sand bar. 1.3243 0.04718 148 108 32 8
605 They like the song but said the lyrics about loneliness sounded contrived. 1.3243 0.05002 148 111 26 11
606 It's our nrighbors again. They want us to keep it down. 1.3240 0.04237 179 130 40 9
607 And this cruise ship wants you to play 'Ragtime.' 1.3239 0.04130 176 126 43 7
608 Well, it says here we have to shelter in place again. 1.3235 0.05101 136 101 26 9
609 Wait! Does this say Caruso or Crusoe? 1.3235 0.04540 170 126 33 11
610 It says "Your middle C is flat." 1.3234 0.04673 167 125 30 12
611 another request for "Rescue Me" 1.3234 0.04673 167 125 30 12
612 Just another noise complaint from the neighbors. 1.3234 0.04673 167 125 30 12
613 …A three hour tour, A three hour tour. 1.3231 0.04004 195 141 45 9
614 They're all saying the same thing. "You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish. Some people are so original. 1.3231 0.05147 130 96 26 8
615 Final notice from rent to own. 1.3230 0.04712 161 120 30 11
616 Another one with no bridge! 1.3230 0.04545 161 118 34 9
617 did you bring your glasses? 1.3228 0.04689 158 117 31 10
618 This one is from the next island over. “Please stop playing Heart and Soul.” 1.3226 0.04334 186 138 36 12
619 Wanted: used grand piano-- name your price. Will pick up anywhere. Just give us a call. 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
620 The piano tuner is running behind schedule . 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
621 I can't find the second movement. 1.3219 0.04950 146 109 27 10
622 This might just be the wine talking, but how ‘bout we add a tip jar? 1.3218 0.04235 174 126 40 8
623 Dang, another tune that's still under copyright. 1.3214 0.04413 168 123 36 9
624 Nope. Another bottle, another verse and refrain. But still no bridge. 1.3214 0.04649 168 126 30 12
625 Just what we need - another clarinet concerto 1.3212 0.04383 165 120 37 8
626 They all say "practice, practice, practice". 1.3211 0.04136 190 139 41 10
627 These are all written in sea minor 1.3210 0.04605 162 120 32 10
628 I prefer this one from Thelonious Monk. 1.3210 0.04521 162 119 34 9
629 The inspiration is coming in waves. 1.3208 0.04831 159 120 27 12
630 Let's make this the best off-off-off Broadway show yet. 1.3205 0.04897 156 118 26 12
631 Some fool keeps sending oboe parts! 1.3205 0.04636 156 115 32 9
632 Another one from Sting!" "Would it kill him to send something other than the sheet music for 'Message in a Bottle?!' 1.3203 0.04605 153 112 33 8
633 They want you to play Chopin. 1.3202 0.04318 178 131 37 10
634 Another rejection letter for our demo. I’m starting to think we’ll never get discovered. 1.3200 0.05029 125 91 28 6
635 This one is from a guy who calls himself 'Sting' 1.3198 0.04494 172 128 33 11
636 It must be Beethoven’s Fifth~ it’s the last bottle. 1.3198 0.04788 172 132 25 15
637 More sheet music for “It’s a Small World After All.” 1.3198 0.04569 172 129 31 12
638 The piano tuner still needs a better address. 1.3195 0.04549 169 126 32 11
639 “This one’s from your mother. She wants to know are you practicing at least half an hour a day?” 1.3194 0.04691 144 105 32 7
640 The genie wants to know if we're enjoying more time for hobbies. 1.3194 0.05088 144 109 24 11
641 The piano tuner says he'll be here on Friday. 1.3193 0.04605 166 124 31 11
642 OK, here’s one I think you’ll know. 1.3191 0.04755 141 103 31 7
643 I'm tired of "Message in a Bottle." 1.3191 0.04648 141 102 33 6
644 It's a cease-and-desist letter from Sting's lawyer. 1.3190 0.04581 163 121 32 10
645 They keep asking what key we are in. 1.3190 0.04326 163 118 38 7
646 Oddly, it seems all of them are requests to hear "Send in the Clowns" again. 1.3190 0.04581 163 121 32 10
647 It's a cease and desist from Sting. It says he owns the rights to all messages in bottles. 1.3190 0.04581 163 121 32 10
648 This ones a request for “Rescue Me.” 1.3189 0.04205 185 136 39 10
649 What are the odds that none would be an early intermediate duet? 1.3188 0.05243 138 105 22 11
650 This is the one that will finally get us discovered. 1.3185 0.05004 135 100 27 8
651 How dry I am! 1.3182 0.04390 154 111 37 6
652 We got another one from our neighbor. He says we’re still being to noisy. 1.3179 0.04319 173 127 37 9
653 It says, 'Practice. PRACTICE.' 1.3179 0.04444 151 109 36 6
654 It doesn't say what key we're in. 1.3174 0.04659 167 126 29 12
655 Well dang, another request for La Mer. 1.3172 0.04864 145 108 28 9
656 It’s another pass on your demo tape. Ironically, from Island Records 1.3172 0.04765 145 107 30 8
657 It’s all ABBA. 1.3172 0.04559 145 105 34 6
658 Same as all the others: keep your day job! 1.3172 0.04663 145 106 32 7
659 Verse, chorus, verse…where’s the bridge? We need a bridge! 1.3169 0.04934 142 106 27 9
660 This one's from Sting. 1.3168 0.04698 161 121 29 11
661 The only cruise jobs available want a piano trio. 1.3167 0.04054 180 130 43 7
662 We've been trying to reach you about your instrument's extended warranty. 1.3165 0.04901 139 103 28 8
663 Can you do Melancholy Baby? 1.3165 0.04759 158 119 28 11
664 Everyone agrees: Needs more cowbell. 1.3162 0.05081 136 102 25 9
665 Gives a whole new meaning to getting lost in the music. 1.3161 0.04554 155 114 33 8
666 I sure hope we can catch a piano tuna. 1.3161 0.04822 155 117 27 11
667 Huh. I guess you CAN write an entire opera about coconuts. 1.3158 0.04934 133 98 28 7
668 These are all from our neighbor on the island next door asking us to keep the music down. 1.3155 0.04167 187 138 39 10
669 This one's a request for "Love Letters in the Sand. 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
670 I THINK YOU'RE ON THE WRONG KEY 1.3154 0.04576 149 109 33 7
671 I know they say that music can transport you to faraway lands,but this is too much. 1.3150 0.05327 127 96 22 9
672 Should we get the extended service warranty? 1.3148 0.04505 162 120 33 9
673 You guys rock, it says" 1.3145 0.04908 124 90 29 5
674 Whataya mean it's too loud.... 1.3145 0.04648 159 119 30 10
675 Beethoven wants his fifth back. 1.3145 0.04979 159 123 22 14
676 Another message from Putin saying that Russia claims the royalties from all of our songs, since 75 million years ago, our island was part of the Russian mainland. 1.3145 0.04733 159 120 28 11
677 It says, "Welcome to the Archipeggio." 1.3143 0.04121 175 127 41 7
678 Another spam bottle trying to reach us about our piano insurance. 1.3143 0.05078 140 106 24 10
679 I'm not sure a minor key quite captures our major problem. 1.3143 0.04764 140 103 30 7
680 No bridge! 1.3143 0.04975 140 105 26 9
681 I never thought the messages in the bottles we threw overboard would end up being our only entertainment. 1.3139 0.04720 137 100 31 6
682 They say we need a bridge. 1.3139 0.04942 137 102 27 8
683 The piano tuner will be here next week. 1.3139 0.04832 137 101 29 7
684 It’s another “Sorry we missed you’ note from the piano tuner. 1.3137 0.04680 153 114 30 9
685 Fill out date location and throw back in the water 1.3136 0.04295 169 124 37 8
686 In the other hand, our toilet paper supply has increased. 1.3134 0.05235 134 102 22 10
687 It's another request for Message in a Bottle. 1.3133 0.04428 166 123 34 9
688 Send nudes. 1.3129 0.04507 147 107 34 6
689 This one liked the music but the costumes got a mixed review. 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
690 It says here that professional football went out of business and everyone is watching curling. That does it, I'm not going back. 1.3129 0.04710 147 109 30 8
691 Still negative. 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
692 Not another dirge! 1.3129 0.04566 163 122 31 10
693 It says to change Key. 1.3125 0.04974 144 109 25 10
694 Nope. Another goddam solo piece. 1.3125 0.04875 144 108 27 9
695 Not the notes you're looking for. 1.3121 0.04595 157 117 31 9
696 It is the directions to Carnegie Hall! 1.3121 0.04769 157 119 27 11
697 It’s a duet for piano and harp, when is Amazon delivering that harp? 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
698 Here's another request for 'Born to be Wild.' 1.3116 0.05018 138 104 25 9
699 Another "Theme From Jaws." 1.3115 0.04218 183 136 37 10
700 Ug. . . another oboe concerto 1.3114 0.04566 167 126 30 11
701 It's a Stinging rebuke of our last S.O.S. 1.3113 0.04621 151 112 31 8
702 They sent us the wrong music! 1.3111 0.04407 180 136 32 12
703 It's another "cease and desist" order from ASCAP. 1.3107 0.04669 177 137 25 15
704 This may come in handy , it’s the sheet music for the Beatles’ song Help. 1.3107 0.04600 177 136 27 14
705 Finally, the score for Handel’s Water Music! 1.3106 0.04513 161 120 32 9
706 Another facebottle request from your piano bar group. 1.3106 0.04513 161 120 32 9
707 I can't believe every offer's expired. 1.3102 0.04422 187 143 30 14
708 Oh, the shark has pretty teeth, dear..." Not the music I was hoping for 1.3099 0.04253 171 126 37 8
709 Apparently, the warranty doesn't cover shipwrecks. 1.3095 0.05098 126 94 25 7
710 And our next request comes from Josie in New York City... 1.3095 0.04972 126 93 27 6
711 More sheet music for "Time in a Bottle." 1.3094 0.04987 139 105 25 9
712 At last! My four scores from seven years ago! 1.3094 0.05291 139 108 19 12
713 How do I cancel my subscription? 1.3091 0.04089 165 119 41 5
714 Great. Another request for 'Islands in the Stream'. 1.3087 0.04557 149 110 32 7
715 Sorry, another South Pacific. 1.3086 0.04315 162 119 36 7
716 It's another request list from the island next door. They say they'll throw themselves into the sea if they hear "It's a Small World" one more time. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
717 And they said starting a piano bar would be smooth sailing. 1.3082 0.04914 146 111 25 10
718 Well,on the bright side,we now have all the sheet music for "Message in a Bottle." 1.3082 0.04717 159 121 27 11
719 It’s from Amelia Earhart again. Same thing,”send help”. 1.3077 0.04512 156 116 32 8
720 This stuff is written for a ukulele. 1.3077 0.04228 156 113 38 5
721 You accidentally wrote the State Farm jingle again. 1.3077 0.05083 143 110 22 11
722 It's another bill from ASCAP. 1.3077 0.05104 130 98 24 8
723 We keep getting complaints about the noise. 1.3077 0.04041 208 157 38 13
724 It says we were supposed to build a boat. 1.3077 0.05443 130 101 18 11
725 Not for us. This bottle was meant for The Little River Band. 1.3073 0.04485 179 137 29 13
726 He said he wants more cowbell. 1.3072 0.04575 166 126 29 11
727 It's a warranty application for our car. 1.3072 0.04575 166 126 29 11
728 This guy wants to know if we take requests 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
729 Here's somebody who'll swap their car for our piano. 1.3067 0.04531 150 111 32 7
730 It's still a current event if I am just reading it, right? 1.3066 0.05029 137 104 24 9
731 Eureka! We finally got a piece for four hands! 1.3065 0.04882 124 91 28 5
732 Oh, no! Another one in C flat. 1.3064 0.03964 173 125 43 5
733 This one's just a recipe for five-bean salad. 1.3061 0.04691 147 110 29 8
734 For the love of God, another solo piece for oboe! 1.3061 0.04980 147 113 23 11
735 Yes, everything does appear to be in the key of sea... 1.3060 0.04764 134 99 29 6
736 The dolphins keep saying you're hurting their ears. 1.3060 0.04994 134 101 25 8
737 Oh, wrong island again. 1.3057 0.04488 157 117 32 8
738 Sending tuba next. 1.3057 0.04206 157 114 38 5
739 They all ask you to either stop playing or get the piano tuned. 1.3056 0.05337 108 80 23 5
740 Keep practicing, we’ll show them who’s music is washed up. 1.3052 0.04989 154 120 21 13
741 This is the fifth request for “Free Bird”. 1.3051 0.04222 177 132 36 9
742 It’s the lost chord! 1.3050 0.04925 141 107 25 9
743 Another one asking us to turn down the music. 1.3049 0.04608 164 125 28 11
744 Nope. Another percussion part. 1.3046 0.04506 151 112 32 7
745 I knew it!! He's still trying to send you love letters!! 1.3046 0.04269 174 130 35 9
746 Nah, Chopsticks might make us hungry. 1.3046 0.04642 174 135 25 14
747 They want to know if we could do a medley of songs from South Pacific 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
748 It's another from our travel agent - "Hope you like the Florida Keys." 1.3041 0.04664 148 111 29 8
749 Randy says,‘it’s a no for me dawg’. 1.3041 0.05222 148 117 17 14
750 Hold up--all of these songs are under copyright protection. Damn it. 1.3041 0.04462 148 109 33 6
751 No news on the ship. On the plus side, the Op.5 has arrived. 1.3040 0.04980 125 93 26 6
752 This song completes our revival of South Pacific. 1.3034 0.04519 145 107 32 6
753 WOW! It's from the BBC! They want to know if you'd like to be on the 80th anniversary of their radio program "Desert Island Discs." 1.3033 0.05446 122 94 19 9
754 It's in the key of Sea. 1.3032 0.04701 155 118 27 10
755 Damn! They're ALL sheet music for Cats! 1.3030 0.04249 165 122 36 7
756 Do I look like I play Tchaikovsky ? 1.3028 0.04687 142 106 29 7
757 And here's a request from Kiki in Nashville, "Let the Sunshine In." 1.3026 0.04854 152 117 24 11
758 It's yet another take on, "Hallelujah." 1.3026 0.04382 152 112 34 6
759 This escape room is much more difficult than I anticipated. 1.3026 0.04763 152 116 26 10
760 It's a shame you don''t read music. 1.3026 0.04382 152 112 34 6
761 Another Fifth from Beethoven? 1.3025 0.05141 119 89 24 6
762 This person is also stranded on an island, but with a tuba. 1.3025 0.04298 162 120 35 7
763 God, another request for "I am a Rock"! 1.3025 0.04558 162 123 29 10
764 If they know where to send us sheet music, why don't they just come get us? 1.3023 0.04374 172 130 32 10
765 It's from Vlad. Lyrics for a new national anthem for someone. 1.3023 0.04216 172 128 36 8
766 Another request for "Freebird". 1.3022 0.04966 139 106 24 9
767 Another variation on Chopsticks! 1.3018 0.04345 169 127 33 9
768 Another denial from Sting's lawyers. He STILL won't give us credit for our song. 1.3016 0.04817 126 93 28 5
769 The reality show has been canceled 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
770 All we get is junk mail! 1.3014 0.04798 146 111 26 9
771 Damn! Just the first verse again. 1.3014 0.04387 146 107 34 5
772 They all are the theme song from "Gilligan's Island" 1.3013 0.04008 156 112 41 3
773 I guess musicians do end washed up. 1.3013 0.04585 156 118 29 9
774 Sting asks if you can write a song that isn’t about messages in a bottle. 1.3013 0.04585 156 118 29 9
775 Just our luck, another one in the wrong key. 1.3011 0.04227 176 132 35 9
776 They're all in high sea" 1.3009 0.05463 113 86 20 7
777 Why do I keep putting myself through the predictable disappointment of reading all of these? It's like clicking on "Help us pick three finalists . . ." in the New Yorker cartoon caption contest. 1.3007 0.05255 143 113 17 13
778 I used to love Neil Diamond 1.3007 0.04552 143 106 31 6
779 The neighbors are complaining about the noise. 1.3007 0.04552 143 106 31 6
780 They want the Gilligan’s island theme 1.3000 0.04412 150 111 33 6
781 You must play “ ninety bottles” without a break 1.3000 0.04675 160 123 26 11
782 Jokers! I threw a bottle for help. I get back same request: Bohemian Rhapsody! 1.3000 0.04610 150 113 29 8
783 I have no idea--the directions are written in some weird code. 1.3000 0.05197 130 100 21 9
784 I think it says “Either we join the symphony or they will invade.” I can’t be sure… my Russian’s not very good. 1.3000 0.04935 140 107 24 9
785 Have you seen this piano? 1.3000 0.04610 150 113 29 8
786 They are all the same song lyrics, 'Yesterday, all our troubles seemed so far away...' 1.2994 0.04290 167 125 34 8
787 These are pages 21 through 24! 1.2994 0.04470 157 118 31 8
788 You gotta admit, this two-day free shipping is really impressive. 1.2994 0.04905 157 123 21 13
789 The State Farm jingle isn’t working 1.2994 0.04560 157 119 29 9
790 Same old ten songs...must be from a classic rock station. 1.2993 0.04254 147 107 36 4
791 We’ve decided to extend your banishment due to repeated ‘Heart and Soul’ violations. 1.2993 0.04867 147 113 24 10
792 ‘My husband ate everybody. Please help.’ I wonder who wrote this one. 1.2992 0.05398 127 99 18 10
793 They keep sending the same message over and over. . . "Were you able to save the piano?" 1.2988 0.04592 164 126 27 11
794 The tuner says he's booked up for the next 3 months... 1.2987 0.04619 154 117 28 9
795 Makes you wish either of us had taken a second piano lesson. 1.2985 0.05084 134 103 22 9
796 Drat...some chap from the Police has all the messages bottled up...! 1.2985 0.04241 134 96 36 2
797 You ordered only Beethoven? 1.2985 0.04498 134 98 32 4
798 All the critics say you played as if you are detached from the orchestra” 1.2984 0.05119 124 94 23 7
799 Same response as all the others. Desert island songs are a cliché. 1.2981 0.04479 161 122 30 9
800 This score is for two pianos, four hands. 1.2981 0.04565 161 123 28 10
801 They all require a piano that has keys. 1.2979 0.04800 141 107 26 8
802 This one's a cease and desist from Sting's attorney. 1.2977 0.04809 131 98 27 6
803 In case of emergency stranding, piano can be used as boat. 1.2977 0.04930 131 99 25 7
804 He thinks "Key of Sea" is too cute. 1.2976 0.04269 168 126 34 8
805 Finally something useful. The lyrics from the song HELP!. 1.2976 0.04269 168 126 34 8
806 She says you've violated her copyright. 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
807 Put de lime in de coconut, drink 'em bot' up 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
808 Yep. Says so right here in the small print: private island with all-day entertainment. 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
809 Try adding more desperation to the intro. 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
810 He’s still trying to get you to take requests 1.2973 0.04230 148 108 36 4
811 Same message. If you don't stop playing that song, we will come and take away your piano. 1.2971 0.04759 138 104 27 7
812 Oh crap. It's another recipe. 1.2971 0.04869 138 105 25 8
813 It seems nobody likes going to piano bars anymore. 1.2970 0.04804 165 130 21 14
814 I am getting tired of the junk mail from that guy one island over. 1.2969 0.04621 128 94 30 4
815 It's just another "Fur Elise." 1.2969 0.05005 128 97 24 7
816 Just something that I'd hear in a bar please. 1.2969 0.05005 128 97 24 7
817 Why does it all sound like "South Pacific"? 1.2969 0.05005 128 97 24 7
818 This the fifth delivery from Amazon and it is still the wrong score. 1.2966 0.04807 145 111 25 9
819 It’s Bali Ha’i…..again. 1.2965 0.04280 172 130 33 9
820 Another one. Doesn't she know anything other than Claire de Lune? 1.2963 0.04592 135 100 30 5
821 How many times do we have to tell them we don’t take requests? 1.2963 0.04940 135 103 24 8
822 'Rats. Rejection,rejection,rejection. Will our luck ever change? 1.2963 0.04827 135 102 26 7
823 Nope....it won't sound right without my tuba! 1.2963 0.04624 162 125 26 11
824 He said you have played the song wrong. Honey,we have a subscriber! 1.2963 0.04940 135 103 24 8
825 It's the entire organ solo to "In-a-gadda-da-vida. But will it work on piano? 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
826 Another violin concerto 1.2961 0.04013 179 133 39 7
827 They've been trying to reach us about the extended warranty. 1.2961 0.04745 152 117 25 10
828 That's not the kind of bridge we need. 1.2960 0.04823 125 93 27 5
829 These quotes from piano movers are rediculous 1.2958 0.05173 142 112 18 12
830 Unbelievable, another Billy Joel request. 1.2957 0.04779 115 84 28 3
831 This one’s from your mother “have you learned to play that thing yet”? 1.2956 0.04237 159 118 35 6
832 More bad news I'm afraid. It's a lawsuit. Apparently someone already has a hit song about a message in a bottle. 1.2955 0.04778 132 99 27 6
833 It's another unfinished symphony. 1.2951 0.05421 122 95 18 9
834 It says to update the software before playing. 1.2950 0.04618 139 104 29 6
835 The New Yorker seams to be trying every angle of reaching new subscribers. 1.2950 0.04945 139 107 23 9
836 Another one for piano and violin 1.2949 0.04476 156 118 30 8
837 It’s another offer from Nigeria that we won a raffle, asking for our Social Security numbers. 1.2949 0.04287 156 116 34 6
838 Another crank: "Can you at least keep it to pianissimo between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m., exclamation point." 1.2946 0.04971 129 98 24 7
839 We really need a new bridge. 1.2945 0.04678 146 111 27 8
840 According to all of these messages, our island used to be a place called Florida--and was connected to something named Georgia or Alabama? 1.2941 0.05384 119 92 19 8
841 Is an opera an opera if no one ever hears it? 1.2941 0.04681 136 102 28 6
842 Let's try it again in the key of Sea. 1.2941 0.04307 170 129 32 9
843 Wait! It's Etude No. 6! No. 5 must be lost at sea! 1.2941 0.04626 153 117 27 9
844 They all say the same thing: Please stop with the piano! 1.2938 0.04267 177 135 32 10
845 Can you play something by the Castaways? 1.2937 0.04573 160 123 27 10
846 It says, "For closing movement, see next bottle." 1.2937 0.04530 143 107 30 6
847 ‘We regret to inform you that Fyre Fest: The Musical has been canceled.’?!?!!! 1.2937 0.04845 143 110 24 9
848 Handel never experienced this place when he wrote the Water Music 1.2937 0.04530 143 107 30 6
849 I wish they’d send something from “Company.” “South Pacific” is wearing a bit thin. 1.2937 0.04845 143 110 24 9
850 It's marked with a 10 and signed Ludwig. 1.2937 0.05048 126 96 23 7
851 It says, "We are staccato here too." 1.2937 0.04921 126 95 25 6
852 Finally, 'How to Build a Raft Out of a Piano for Dummies.' 1.2937 0.05172 126 97 21 8
853 It's just another 'cease and desist' letter from the estate of Rodgers & Hammerstein. 1.2933 0.04391 150 112 32 6
854 Are you kidding me? This one's atonal too! 1.2933 0.04781 150 116 24 10
855 It's a bill from the piano movers. 1.2933 0.04687 150 115 26 9
856 Where does he think I’m going to get a bass sax? 1.2933 0.04965 150 118 20 12
857 It's from the neighbor islanders. They say you can't play before 10am 1.2930 0.04451 157 119 30 8
858 OMG! The Carnegie Hall recital is next week! 1.2930 0.04804 157 123 22 12
859 It's from a nine year old kid named Tchaikovsky 1.2929 0.05420 99 74 21 4
860 John and no Paul. I think the Beatles broke up. 1.2929 0.04590 140 105 29 6
861 It's all music for the bongo. 1.2927 0.04408 164 125 30 9
862 I better think of an ending before the tide rolls in." 1.2925 0.04231 147 108 35 4
863 Philip Glass. Philip Glass. Sheese, it's all Philip Glass 1.2925 0.04847 147 114 23 10
864 Another freakin’ requiem 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
865 They say my music is too remote. 1.2923 0.04938 130 99 24 7
866 We’re saved! This is the hit we’ve been waiting for. 1.2922 0.04691 154 119 25 10
867 How Nice of Ikea to send us Instructions. 1.2920 0.05577 113 88 17 8
868 you know this is a scam right 1.2920 0.04652 137 103 28 6
869 How many variations of "Message in a Bottle" is Sting going to send? 1.2920 0.04877 137 105 24 8
870 I say we build a raft, sail due west, find this guy, and make him stop requesting Piano Man. 1.2917 0.04714 144 110 26 8
871 It’s “Chopsticks”. Again. 1.2917 0.04714 144 110 26 8
872 Sting is suing us. 1.2917 0.05013 144 113 20 11
873 They think we’re off the keys. 1.2917 0.04714 144 110 26 8
874 It's another song suggestion for Jimmy Buffett. 1.2913 0.05013 127 97 23 7
875 Damn! Just the sheet music for 'Für Elise' again! 1.2913 0.05137 127 98 21 8
876 If no one shows up, we don't get paid. 1.2910 0.04717 134 101 27 6
877 They sure find us quick enough with their rejection letters. 1.2910 0.05061 134 104 21 9
878 These notes are all stranded. 1.2910 0.04834 134 102 25 7
879 Great. Another bottle with the sheet music to “Freebird.” 1.2905 0.04523 148 112 29 7
880 It says, "I can name that tune in 3 notes." 1.2903 0.04828 124 93 26 5
881 Looks like we’re not washed up quite yet! 1.2903 0.04962 124 94 24 6
882 It’s from our publisher. Apparently, the message in a bottle theme, is both musically derivative and environmentally inappropriate. 1.2903 0.04753 155 121 23 11
883 …finally, we implore you sir— STOP sending us bottles! 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
884 It's the guy from over the horizon. He's written another verse to 'Gilligan's Island.' 1.2901 0.04660 131 98 28 5
885 Just our luck: it's for percussion. 1.2899 0.04736 138 105 26 7
886 Another note from our producer. He's worried we're stuck. 1.2897 0.04143 145 106 36 3
887 They're all in the wrong key. 1.2897 0.04582 145 110 28 7
888 It's from Florida. Wants to know if you want to play the Keys? 1.2895 0.05534 114 89 17 8
889 It's just more sheet music for guitar. 1.2895 0.04342 152 114 32 6
890 ugh another copy of Message in The Bottle 1.2893 0.04025 159 117 38 4
891 We have to keep trying until we’re discovered. 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
892 I think we did this one 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
893 They're all song requests. 1.2886 0.04596 149 114 27 8
894 We're going to have to improvise. 1.2886 0.04395 149 112 31 6
895 Oh God, it's John Cage 1.2886 0.04694 149 115 25 9
896 It’s “Only the Lonely.” Guess they didn’t get my request for “Help.” 1.2886 0.04497 149 113 29 7
897 Any chance of you playing us off?” 1.2886 0.04596 149 114 27 8
898 Ruddy sadist! It’s the theme from Jaws! 1.2885 0.05579 104 80 18 6
899 Do we want to extend the warranty? 1.2885 0.04456 156 119 29 8
900 Which sounds better “a S.O.S” or “an S.O.S.? 1.2883 0.04499 163 126 27 10
901 Another request for 'Tiny Bubbles.' 1.2883 0.04414 163 125 29 9
902 Apparently, we have a Friend in Jesus. 1.2883 0.04239 163 123 33 7
903 I already said we don't take requests." 1.2883 0.04855 111 82 26 3
904 Dang. Everything is in sea-minor. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
905 Another tuner turned us down! 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
906 They want to repossess the piano. Bob Scardaci New Brunswick NJ 1.2879 0.04990 132 102 22 8
907 It says 'For piano tuning, call 222-1313'. 1.2879 0.05105 132 103 20 9
908 For Pete's sake, there's gotta be SOMETHING here I can dance to! 1.2878 0.04594 139 105 28 6
909 '"Message in a Bottle' AGAIN?!" 1.2878 0.04594 139 105 28 6
910 No more bottles of beer...on...the...wall. 1.2877 0.04758 146 113 24 9
911 I'd rather get eaten by a shark than listen to baby shark once more. 1.2877 0.04856 146 114 22 10
912 It's another one that says we'll only be picked up if agree to NEVER perform again! 1.2876 0.04416 153 116 30 7
913 Let’s do it again, this time with feeling! 1.2876 0.04606 153 118 26 9
914 Finally. Water Music for four hands. 1.2869 0.05267 122 95 19 8
915 Why do all these messages-in-a-bottle wind up here? 1.2869 0.05267 122 95 19 8
916 another "would like to meet musical couple, for good times" 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
917 Your car’s warranty is about to run out. 1.2868 0.04995 136 106 21 9
918 Another rejection from a piano tuner. 1.2868 0.04772 136 104 25 7
919 Still unfinished. 1.2867 0.04396 143 107 31 5
920 Remind me. Are we meant to be sending these or receiving them? 1.2866 0.04339 157 119 31 7
921 No, I'm not being vain. I think this song IS about me! 1.2857 0.04644 119 88 28 3
922 It's two exit visas from Casablanca. These could be worth something! 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
923 They're offering an extended warranty on the piano. 1.2857 0.04841 133 102 24 7
924 I don't care how many times they float their request. I refuse to play another sea chanty. 1.2857 0.05071 133 104 20 9
925 She thought you said clavier 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
926 Can you find "La Mer"? 1.2857 0.04786 140 108 24 8
927 You would think at least one of these wasn't "Baby Shark". 1.2857 0.04786 140 108 24 8
928 This won't end well... it's the Rite of Spring. 1.2848 0.04315 158 120 31 7
929 Well, it appears there are noise restrictions everywhere. 1.2848 0.04640 151 117 25 9
930 Yes,I DO play requests! 1.2847 0.04142 144 106 35 3
931 Why is everyone a critic? 1.2847 0.04389 137 102 31 4
932 Our escape plan needs to be well orchestrated. 1.2846 0.04663 130 98 27 5
933 Our agent says we should be a trio 1.2844 0.05064 109 82 23 4
934 Message in a bottle", Now why didn't we think of that 1.2840 0.04212 169 129 32 8
935 All they’re sending are show tunes. 1.2840 0.04332 162 124 30 8
936 'This time the producers say a good bridge will solve all of our problems.' 1.2840 0.04590 162 127 24 11
937 Sonata in Sea. 1.2840 0.04419 162 125 28 9
938 I can't get the Gilligan's Island theme song out of my head. 1.2838 0.04501 148 113 28 7
939 You’ll never be more than a one hit wonder. 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
940 The coda loops back to 'I'm sending out an S.O.S.' 1.2836 0.04691 134 102 26 6
941 We love her playing MoonRiver, but the Bearded guy is singing off Key.” 1.2836 0.04809 134 103 24 7
942 Damn, another set of lyrics. 1.2835 0.04315 127 93 32 2
943 Did you order sheet music? 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
944 Agent says we have a deal! Just need to comb through the details. 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
945 Don't you have anything that rhymes with 19.8968° S, 155.5828° W? 1.2833 0.05183 120 93 20 7
946 I knew eventually we'd get Handel's Water Music! 1.2832 0.05402 113 88 18 7
947 Damn! It’s another violin sonata! 1.2829 0.04420 152 116 29 7
948 Now they're saying we need a separate policy for rising sea levels 1.2828 0.04765 145 113 23 9
949 DAMN IT" it says all we need is needle nose pliers to tune it 1.2828 0.04344 145 109 31 5
950 The reply came - it says a “nope but I’ll give you a rescue helicopter to STOP playing” 1.2828 0.04765 145 113 23 9
951 Why pianissimo again? Without fortissimo, no one will ever hear you. 1.2828 0.04344 145 109 31 5
952 Wait, this one is from Taylor. 1.2826 0.04823 138 107 23 8
953 Typical. It’s not even December and we’re getting Christmas music. 1.2824 0.05115 131 103 19 9
954 I don't know if Philip Glass should be allowed to send messages in bottles. 1.2824 0.05228 131 104 17 10
955 We’re stranded, I hate you, the piano is out of tune and every bottle that washes up has the sheet music for “Don’t Worry be Happy”. I guess I’m in hell. 1.2824 0.04633 131 99 27 5
956 They keep sending back our compositions . . . 1.2824 0.04021 170 128 36 6
957 It's some more verses to Hallelujah. 1.2823 0.04933 124 95 23 6
958 It's another cease and desist letter from Sting. 1.2823 0.04517 124 92 29 3
959 Just another one that says "Play It Again, Sam" 1.2823 0.04933 124 95 23 6
960 I told you,Diana: If we were dead already, you’d be playing a harp 1.2822 0.04309 163 125 30 8
961 Nope... just more organ music. 1.2819 0.04769 149 117 22 10
962 Aw man, I've been singing the wrong words all this time. 1.2819 0.04373 149 113 30 6
963 Do you know the way to San Jose? 1.2817 0.04283 142 106 32 4
964 Finally! Pack the music. No more PCR testing is required. 1.2815 0.04661 135 103 26 6
965 It says continued in next bottle 1.2815 0.05004 135 106 20 9
966 Our subscription is about to expire. 1.2812 0.04827 128 98 24 6
967 That knucklehead from Customer Service keeps asking why we have a piano at all. 1.2812 0.04565 128 96 28 4
968 Do we really need a coda? 1.2812 0.04565 128 96 28 4
969 Look...we're never going to be able to cancel this subscription, so we might as well enjoy it. 1.2810 0.04679 153 120 23 10
970 It's the sheet music to Debussy's La Mer. 1.2808 0.04532 146 112 27 7
971 I think this will be the last one. It’s a requiem. 1.2808 0.04427 146 111 29 6
972 Another rejection letter. We need a new agent! 1.2808 0.04319 146 110 31 5
973 It's the same Chinese menu again. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
974 We're screwed, he can't get here to tune it until the 24th of next month. 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
975 The reviews don't look good! 1.2806 0.04214 139 103 33 3
976 Really? Another version of the "Gilligan's Island" theme? 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
977 Rats, another one scored for violins. 1.2806 0.05005 139 110 19 10
978 Not one piece for four hands! 1.2805 0.04107 164 124 34 6
979 'If this finds you, please stay there.' Another one from our old upstairs neighbor. 1.2804 0.05442 107 83 18 6
980 Boy these are old, says the number one hit this week is Glen Miller again! 1.2803 0.04847 132 102 23 7
981 call me Robinson Creschndo 1.2803 0.04209 132 97 33 2
982 They’re all sea shanties. 1.2803 0.04602 132 100 27 5
983 a request for another Jimmy Buffet song 1.2803 0.04726 132 101 25 6
984 Another sea shanty. 1.2803 0.04847 132 102 23 7
985 Dammit! CATS again..? 1.2803 0.04318 157 120 30 7
986 This is an offer of a free piano tuning. What do you think? 1.2800 0.04027 150 111 36 3
987 Your agent got you a gig at the Ramada in Nutley. 1.2800 0.04899 125 96 23 6
988 Darn it! Another bassoon concerto. 1.2800 0.05156 125 98 19 8
989 They told me my music would never take me anywhere. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
990 He keeps only sending the left hand! 1.2797 0.04258 143 107 32 4
991 Help. I need somebody. Help. Not just anybody. Help! You know I need someone. Help." Honestly, I don't think we can do better than this. 1.2797 0.04801 143 112 22 9
992 How do we unsubscribe? 1.2794 0.05080 136 108 18 10
993 Another request for 'How Deep is the Ocean. 1.2794 0.04631 136 104 26 6
994 Debussy again? Doesn’t that other survivor have anything else? 1.2794 0.04512 136 103 28 5
995 This note says the piano is out of tune. 1.2794 0.04748 136 105 24 7
996 It's an Ode. To Climate Change. From the guys who used to be right next door. 1.2792 0.04560 154 120 25 9
997 It's another request for Margaritaville. 1.2791 0.04065 172 131 34 7
998 Damn it this is for Bag Pipe! 1.2789 0.04505 147 113 27 7
999 ‘They’re all requests, for ‘South Pacific’ ‘ 1.2788 0.05709 104 82 15 7
1000 Looks like the warranty doesn't cover shipwrecks, or sand, or water, and the closest technician is 4458 miles away. 1.2787 0.05239 122 96 18 8
1001 I know, I know, but at least there is a no-mask policy here. 1.2787 0.05239 122 96 18 8
1002 They are having a party for Gilligan, and want to know if we can make it 1.2786 0.04869 140 110 21 9
1003 They all want you to stop playing Barry Manilow songs. 1.2786 0.04762 140 109 23 8
1004 Ok . This one’s from Sting. 1.2786 0.04869 140 110 21 9
1005 Another noise complaint?! 1.2786 0.04309 140 105 31 4
1006 It’s the score to ‘Come Sail Away’. So not helpful. 1.2782 0.04815 133 103 23 7
1007 Damn...They're all from Jim Croce! 1.2778 0.04456 144 110 28 6
1008 …take one down, pass it around, 96 bottles of beer on the wall 1.2778 0.04893 108 81 24 3
1009 Oh my god, it's another copy of Barry Manilow's "I Write the Songs"! 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1010 Oh, hell! It's the right piece, but it's scored for a trombone. 1.2778 0.05067 108 82 22 4
1011 This one enjoyed your rendition of The Titanic but wonders if you could be a bit more upbeat, say South Pacific? 1.2778 0.05067 108 82 22 4
1012 All these notes and still no music. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1013 They’re all from Taylor Swift?! 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1014 The piano tuner wants to know why we weren't home. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1015 It says learning all the diatonic 7th chords in all 12 keys, in all their possible inversions with both hands, could be a life-saver. 1.2774 0.05047 137 109 18 10
1016 Seems someone stranded on the next island over wants to hear some Beethoven today. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1017 It's another piano sonata in C major. One of us oughta try to learn to play that thing. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
1018 This one says keep the noise down as well. 1.2773 0.05192 119 93 19 7
1019 No good. They’re copyrighted. 1.2771 0.04241 166 128 30 8
1020 Nope,they missed the boat too. 1.2770 0.04269 148 112 31 5
1021 It’s another ad for piano lessons. 1.2769 0.04886 130 101 22 7
1022 Who is this Sting guy? 1.2769 0.04762 130 100 24 6
1023 The instructions say we should call a piano tuner. 1.2769 0.05239 130 104 16 10
1024 I sure wish we could read music. 1.2769 0.04505 130 98 28 4
1025 This one’s from a guy in Brooklyn saying you could use a piana tuna. 1.2767 0.04629 159 126 22 11
1026 Here's another request for "S.O.S." 1.2766 0.04733 141 110 23 8
1027 I wish he would write the music before emptying the bottle. 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
1028 I know you're playing Chopin, but this says Robinson Crusoe. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
1029 It's the last two movements of Schubert's "Unfinished Symphony." 1.2761 0.04784 134 104 23 7
1030 Nothing for piano. It’s all just kazoo music. 1.2761 0.04543 134 102 27 5
1031 Oh, no! This one’s also unfinished. 1.2761 0.04900 134 105 21 8
1032 Another bottle from ASCAP. This is our fifth and final warning before they take legal action. 1.2759 0.04641 145 113 24 8
1033 All of the right notes but not necessarily in the right order 1.2759 0.04320 145 110 30 5
1034 And here's a request from Mellissa in LA. She also says she's sorry she missed our last gig before we sailed. 1.2759 0.04429 145 111 28 6
1035 It seems that a very large number of "Cats" librettos were hurled into the sea when the movie came out. 1.2759 0.04834 116 88 24 4
1036 Damn! Still no sheet music. 1.2756 0.04416 156 121 27 8
1037 Try this one - it's in sea. 1.2756 0.05084 127 100 19 8
1038 Mosquito Coast is a damn slow read at four pages a bottle. 1.2756 0.04832 127 98 23 6
1039 Do these people think it's funny to request the Theme From Gilligan's Island again and again? 1.2756 0.04700 127 97 25 5
1040 It says there's no audience for our songs. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
1041 They keep saying "Sending Out an SOS" is already copyrighted. 1.2754 0.05014 138 110 18 10
1042 This request for Rhapsody in Blue comes from the next atoll. 1.2750 0.05153 120 94 19 7
1043 Another estimate from the movers: the piano's definitely staying here. 1.2750 0.05418 120 96 15 9
1044 Spotify sent another 14 cent royalty check. 1.2748 0.04605 131 100 26 5
1045 Great. Another aria written for a tenor! 1.2748 0.04605 131 100 26 5
1046 Lady Gaga wants to collaborate 1.2748 0.04730 131 101 24 6
1047 It says, "Freebird!" 1.2746 0.04703 142 111 23 8
1048 ‘Wassermusik’ again 1.2745 0.04373 153 118 28 7
1049 Darn it, now they want to know the color of my first car. 1.2745 0.04565 153 120 24 9
1050 Imagine no possessions 1.2745 0.05937 102 82 12 8
1051 It's our fifth request for "Bridge Over Troubled Waters". I mean, what's the odds? 1.2745 0.04470 153 119 26 8
1052 Nope. It’s another cello solo. 1.2744 0.04353 164 128 27 9
1053 This one here is called "escape" 1.2743 0.04909 113 86 23 4
1054 Apparently this is the a cappella archipelago. 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
1055 Fur Elise, Fur Elise, Fur Elise - what's with Fur Elise? 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1056 I can't read my own writing. 1.2740 0.04403 146 112 28 6
1057 D# minor again?! 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
1058 It's for you. More variations! 1.2736 0.05283 106 82 19 5
1059 This last note settles the score. 1.2736 0.05451 106 83 17 6
1060 We're one bottle away from Broadway. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
1061 This one has the words to "Obla di Obla da". Are you ready to play it? 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
1062 None of this is escapist music! 1.2734 0.05048 128 101 19 8
1063 Still nothing that I find transporting 1.2734 0.04876 139 110 20 9
1064 I'm not asking again: Bring my piano back. 1.2727 0.04574 132 101 26 5
1065 This one says we have a number one hit - but it's dated June 1968. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
1066 Show me the way to go home, I'm tired and I wanna go to bed, I had a little drink About an hour ago.... 1.2727 0.04148 154 117 32 5
1067 I think it's a restraining order on playing "Frolicky Rolicky Wind." 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
1068 Do we need an extended warranty for the piano? 1.2727 0.04821 132 103 22 7
1069 It says, Rescue Me - Music and Lyrics by Carole King 1.2727 0.05055 132 105 18 9
1070 They all write the same thing: the piano is horribly out of tune and they might sue us for endangering the big fish 1.2727 0.04568 143 111 25 7
1071 Who is this Sting fella, and is this his idea of a cruel joke? 1.2727 0.04674 143 112 23 8
1072 They want more Barry Manilow, and less Bach 1.2720 0.04869 125 97 22 6
1073 Now we know what they did with the drunken sailor. 1.2720 0.04735 125 96 24 5
1074 They're from people complaining about the noise. 1.2714 0.04516 140 108 26 6
1075 It's 9 o'clock on a saturday 1.2714 0.04516 140 108 26 6
1076 First they air drop a piano; that’s how they get you… 1.2713 0.04368 129 97 29 3
1077 I’m telling you - the contract says “gig at piano bar” not sand bar. 1.2713 0.04505 129 98 27 4
1078 Do you know 'Time in a Bottle?' 1.2713 0.04891 129 101 21 7
1079 It's another rejection letter. 1.2713 0.04637 129 99 25 5
1080 It says “Ignore other messages, play chopsticks “ 1.2713 0.04891 129 101 21 7
1081 Same guy. "Would it kill you to play 'Melancholy Baby'?" 1.2713 0.04637 129 99 25 5
1082 Now they're requesting Chopsticks. 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1083 It’s another quote from the piano tuna. 1.2712 0.05337 118 94 16 8
1084 I don't understand how these people got our address. 1.2710 0.05405 107 84 17 6
1085 I can handle the crushing isolation--just not one more request for "Send in the Clowns." 1.2710 0.04605 155 123 22 10
1086 This one just says “Freebird.” 1.2710 0.04323 155 120 28 7
1087 Actually, this is just a note from a guy who is asking you to stop playing or get that damn piano tuned. 1.2710 0.04605 155 123 22 10
1088 They're all lyrics to Message In A Bottle . 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1089 This one says we’re washed up. 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1090 These Escape Rooms are getting more realistic all the time. 1.2707 0.05021 133 106 18 9
1091 Now he says to change E to E# in bar 359. 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1092 It’s from some guy named Sting. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1093 I know, I know … You don’t take requests. 1.2705 0.04661 122 93 25 4
1094 What rhymes with Ishmael? 1.2703 0.05111 111 86 20 5
1095 No one knows how to read anymore. SOS does not mean Seen Our Steinway? or Send Out Scores. 1.2700 0.05660 100 79 15 6
1096 This one is really interesting! “Da da DA da, da da da DA,” but then, just nonsense. 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
1097 Apparently, if we play the theme from Gilligan’s Island for three years straight, the network will rescue us and we’ll never be heard from again. 1.2695 0.04374 141 108 28 5
1098 I would have chosen a boat if I knew it was really going to happen. 1.2692 0.04970 104 79 22 3
1099 This time in a bottle we have tuning instructions. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
1100 It looks like yet another request from that big yacht over there. 1.2690 0.04512 145 113 25 7
1101 When stranded, it's important to stay composed. 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
1102 Damn, this one is in E minor too 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
1103 It says "Congratulations new Steinway artist!" 1.2685 0.05675 108 87 13 8
1104 Wouldn't you know it, they sent the score for two pianos 1.2683 0.04770 123 95 23 5
1105 And this one's titled, "Ninety-FIVE Bottles of Beer on the Wall". 1.2683 0.04628 123 94 25 4
1106 Your mom says she'll only rescue us if you give up playing the piano. 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1107 They’re asking if you take requests. 1.2683 0.05042 123 97 19 7
1108 Being stranded is no reason to sing out of tune! 1.2683 0.04770 123 95 23 5
1109 Just one more take and then we can go home. 1.2681 0.04308 138 105 29 4
1110 Evidently we need a violinist 1.2679 0.04177 168 131 29 8
1111 This guy says he can't be here to tune the piano until next month 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1112 Critics! 1.2677 0.04930 127 100 20 7
1113 It’s from Debussy’s heirs and successors telling you to cease and desist. … and for God’s sake take lessons and tune the piano. 1.2677 0.04670 127 98 24 5
1114 ‘Daddy sends his love, and for heaven’s sake Marion, stop slouching Marion.’ 1.2677 0.04802 127 99 22 6
1115 I think the problem are the acoustics. 1.2676 0.04571 142 111 24 7
1116 It says my automobile warranty is about to expire. 1.2676 0.04784 142 113 20 9
1117 The humpbacks want less wailing.” 1.2672 0.05246 116 92 17 7
1118 It’s a request for SHOW ME THE WAY TO GO HOME 1.2672 0.04702 131 102 23 6
1119 Damn it! There all Barry Manilow songs. 1.2671 0.04589 146 115 23 8
1120 That’s the third request for ‘All By Myself’” 1.2667 0.04504 150 118 24 8
1121 I can't believe it. It really IS a Bb! 1.2667 0.04841 135 107 20 8
1122 Another damn violin concerto! 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
1123 It's actually a pretty bad crowd for a Saturday, but let's just keep going. 1.2667 0.04403 150 117 26 7
1124 Beth stop playing…this must be pirated music. 1.2667 0.05624 105 84 14 7
1125 Wouldn't you know it, another message-in-a- bottle rejection! 1.2667 0.04694 120 92 24 4
1126 This jerk says ‘tune it yourself.’ 1.2661 0.05135 124 99 17 8
1127 That's the last bottle but it's still unfinished. 1.2661 0.04596 124 95 25 4
1128 The message is in the music. 1.2661 0.04737 124 96 23 5
1129 This does add poignancy to the question of how we'll get to Carnegie Hall. 1.2661 0.04596 124 95 25 4
1130 So when you’re near me darling, can’t you hear me, S.O.S. 1.2661 0.04737 124 96 23 5
1131 Hold down A and double click on C 1.2661 0.05475 109 87 15 7
1132 we are missing page 3 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
1133 Whoever was here sure loved the score to Cast Away. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
1134 Finally, they lifted the mask mandate. Business should be picking up. 1.2656 0.05020 128 102 18 8
1135 Drat, the chorus is missing. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1136 Oh no! Now Joan is with David and Sheila is back with Frank. Bottle-bingeing is awesome! 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1137 Of course these fan messages can be encouraging, but somehow I still feel washed up. 1.2655 0.04872 113 87 22 4
1138 Bob on Remote Island #12 asks if you know how to play anything besides Moonlight Sonata? 1.2655 0.05186 113 89 18 6
1139 They're all in C major. 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1140 When I asked what music you’d bring to a desert album, it was a hypothetical! 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1141 Sweet Jesus, Chopsticks again! 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1142 Ooh, a classic! "Girl from Ipanema" 1.2650 0.04605 117 89 25 3
1143 I wish they'd sent the lyrics too. 1.2650 0.04605 117 89 25 3
1144 Wow! Excellent! I never knew "Louie Louie" had actual lyrics. 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1145 I just don’t think Kenny and Dolly understood the downside of being an Island in the Stream…. 1.2649 0.04171 151 116 30 5
1146 Looks like another one from Sting. 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1147 Son of a... another violin concerto! 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
1148 Finally,the refrain! 1.2647 0.05383 102 80 17 5
1149 How’s this: Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale… 1.2647 0.05383 102 80 17 5
1150 Oh my God the piano belongs to them 1.2645 0.04947 121 95 20 6
1151 It says it's guaranteed to keep the sharks away. 1.2643 0.04713 140 111 21 8
1152 Even stranded, we can’t escape the Beatles 1.2643 0.04602 140 110 23 7
1153 Is this the best composition you could come up with?- ‘Alone again,Naturally” 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
1154 We will purchase your old grand piano even if you don't buy from us. 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1155 Wait a minute...With my wine glasses off I can see it's not music, it's documents Trump flushed down the toilet. He is guilty of treason. We need to swim to America and sound the alarm. Quick let's make a boat out of that piano. 1.2640 0.05465 125 103 11 11
1156 Our original stuff keeps getting thrown back. 1.2640 0.04970 125 99 19 7
1157 Another note from your mom. She's really mad about these private piano lessons. 1.2639 0.04515 144 113 24 7
1158 Study accounting, they said; you’ll never need music. 1.2636 0.04776 110 84 23 3
1159 Sheet music for Baby Shark, AGAIN. 1.2636 0.04862 129 102 20 7
1160 It says here we're going to need 94 more bottles. 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
1161 Wow. I’ve been singing the lyrics wrong, like forever, man. 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
1162 Two more requests: Sitting on the Dock of the Bay and Sailing, Sailing over the Bounding Main. 1.2635 0.04634 148 118 21 9
1163 I didn't realize when I wrote 'Cry me a River' that it would get so out of hand. 1.2632 0.04994 133 107 17 9
1164 Honey, how does this sound? "You are cordially invited to our show, Favorite Piano Duets, Friday at 3 pm. RSVP. Bill and Edna." 1.2632 0.04640 133 104 23 6
1165 This is a request for a tune-up. 1.2628 0.04548 137 107 24 6
1166 Theme from "Gilligan's Island" again? 1.2628 0.04179 137 104 30 3
1167 They keep requesting the same Police song. 1.2628 0.04889 137 110 18 9
1168 Dear Ukraine,C# or B-? From Russia With Love 1.2627 0.04878 118 92 21 5
1169 It says, "Do you take requests?" 1.2627 0.05025 118 93 19 6
1170 Somewhere in here is the key to our survival. 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1171 These band meetings are SO hard to organize. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
1172 Damn, all of these messages in the bottle to tell us how to get off of this island, but no sheet music. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
1173 Do we have any thoughts about getting the band back together? 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
1174 Should we send the Beatles' Help or ABBA's SOS? 1.2621 0.05847 103 84 11 8
1175 God I’m so drunk right now 1.2619 0.05186 126 102 15 9
1176 When you file these divorce papers? 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
1177 They won’t rescue us until you stop playing “chopsticks.” 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1178 Avoid salt air. 1.2617 0.04664 107 81 24 2
1179 I can’t believe they overturned the election again! Biden really did win! 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
1180 Damn it, yet another page 2. 1.2615 0.04307 130 99 28 3
1181 Yeah, more noise complaints. We never should have moved to an archipelago. 1.2615 0.04307 130 99 28 3
1182 Please, anything other than Sonata in C. 1.2615 0.05070 130 105 16 9
1183 Do you think being washed up on a desert island will help me get into Julliard? 1.2615 0.04307 130 99 28 3
1184 One more bottle of beer on the wall - this can’t be right. 1.2614 0.04521 153 122 22 9
1185 The Titanic Rule Book says keep playing until you sink! 1.2613 0.05536 111 90 13 8
1186 Which do you think: ‘Help!’ or ‘S.O.S.’? 1.2612 0.04609 134 105 23 6
1187 More music for your recital! 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1188 this ones about dreaming of a white Christmas. 1.2609 0.04279 138 106 28 4
1189 We have a request for Slow Boat to China - do we know that one? 1.2606 0.04320 142 110 27 5
1190 This is either Beethoven's Fifths, minus one, or Schubert's Unfinished Symphony! 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
1191 They call it a universal language, but it’s all Greek to me. 1.2605 0.05265 119 96 15 8
1192 Ok. Let’s see if we can fix all this: Instructions. 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
1193 Why is it always sheet music for Piano Man ‽ 1.2603 0.04767 146 118 18 10
1194 I’d rather have canned music. 1.2603 0.04667 146 117 20 9
1195 Neil Diamond says we can play his songs if we agree to keep our opinions to ourselves. 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
1196 They are all early drafts of Jim Corce's "Time in a Bottle" 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
1197 Mother told me I should have married a doctor instead of a songwriter! 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
1198 These are all sheet music for big bands! 1.2602 0.04136 123 92 30 1
1199 They're asking to make the song happier… 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
1200 It's the final demand from the piano tuner... 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1201 Wants to know can you play "As Time Goes By" 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1202 We're screwed! All the music is for a quartet! 1.2600 0.04480 150 119 23 8
1203 They're looking for a percussionist to play their coconuts. 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
1204 It's from The Police again 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
1205 Well well. Another anonymous critique of my aria. 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
1206 He says the Rondo still lacks development. 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
1207 In a cruel twist of fate, this one’s also a quartet. 1.2595 0.04796 131 104 20 7
1208 Now they think there's too much cowbell. 1.2595 0.04796 131 104 20 7
1209 Sure, piano won't save us, but the beer might! 1.2595 0.05035 131 106 16 9
1210 This one is from a bass player looking for a keyboardist. 1.2595 0.04545 131 102 24 5
1211 This one says, "This week only, 50% of piano tuning." 1.2593 0.04456 135 105 25 5
1212 It's all tuba music! 1.2590 0.03815 166 127 35 4
1213 This one says, “Can you play ‘Yellow Submarine’?” 1.2590 0.04605 139 110 22 7
1214 I gotta find a new place where the kids are hip 1.2589 0.05190 112 89 17 6
1215 I should have stopped to ask for musical directions. 1.2587 0.04293 143 111 27 5
1216 Damn—another noise complaint. 1.2587 0.04293 143 111 27 5
1217 This piece is for two pianos. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
1218 Every one . . . "Message in a Bottle." 1.2585 0.04537 147 117 22 8
1219 They're all from Ferrante & Teicher. 1.2585 0.04218 147 114 28 5
1220 It's another survey from the 'Desert Island Icebreaker Question Association' asking if you are happy with your decision to bring both your worst enemy and the object that would torture him the most. 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
1221 Oh, it's another one with old tunes, nothing current. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
1222 Handel's Water Suite. Not funny, universe. 1.2583 0.05225 120 97 15 8
1223 I still say we should have gone with the wine of the month club. 1.2581 0.04562 93 69 24 0
1224 It's the same damn song! 1.2581 0.04265 124 94 28 2
1225 Thank you for your latest submission. Unfortunately, your concerto does not meet out present needs...... 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
1226 It's another Barry Manilow song. 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1227 Damn! It's all Beach Boys music! 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1228 No matter how far away I go, the requests keep coming. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1229 Maroon 2 just doesn’t have the same ring to it. 1.2578 0.04471 128 99 25 4
1230 In the Prokofiev, that last F sharp should have been F natural. Cancel my subscription to your series. 1.2577 0.05913 97 79 11 7
1231 They all say the same thing: "We're in deep treble." 1.2576 0.04515 132 103 24 5
1232 Jane Campion wants her piano back 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
1233 I knew we should have left the piano at home. 1.2571 0.04225 140 108 28 4
1234 Damn! More banjo music! 1.2571 0.05246 105 83 17 5
1235 I just can't figure out how to get us out of treble! 1.2571 0.04885 105 81 21 3
1236 I liked it better when it was just me and the vollyball 1.2571 0.05585 105 85 13 7
1237 Isn’t a concert invitation for June 2032 too much of a short notice?“ 1.2571 0.05069 105 82 19 4
1238 A hundred bott..." Shoot, Mabel – We're 95 short. Gotta find another song 1.2569 0.04802 144 117 17 10
1239 Seems like they've cancelled your concerts! 1.2569 0.04591 109 83 24 2
1240 Who is John Cage? And why would he do this ? 1.2566 0.05149 113 90 17 6
1241 Looks Like We Made It", by Barry Manilow. Yeah, we're gonna need more rum 1.2566 0.05149 113 90 17 6
1242 I rather like this one. "I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places." 1.2566 0.04993 113 89 19 5
1243 Sick humor - they’re requesting “Only the Good Die Young.” 1.2564 0.04879 117 92 20 5
1244 It's the co-op board again. No music after 10pm. 1.2564 0.04403 117 89 26 2
1245 This is a final notice from the rent-to-own piano company. It says we’re five months behind. 1.2564 0.05172 117 94 16 7
1246 The music,I get. But I still can’t understand how they got the piano here. 1.2564 0.04879 117 92 20 5
1247 It's another request for 'Don't Stop Believing' 1.2564 0.04726 117 91 22 4
1248 Perhaps we've gotten too intricate with our cry for help. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1249 Just my luck to be marooned on an island with a piano, and all we've got is Burt Bacharach music... 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1250 Well, this is another note from a kid who wants us to write back! 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1251 Sorry Dear, the piano tuner doesn't make island calls. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1252 Please don't play Sting every time I get a message in a bottle. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1253 Damn, it's the sheet music for 'Baby Shark' again. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
1254 Unless it’s ABBA’s S.O.S., I just don’t see how it can help. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1255 The long and winding road my ass! 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
1256 For the last time, we don't do requests! 1.2560 0.04385 125 96 26 3
1257 Great, another three-part harmony. 1.2560 0.04385 125 96 26 3
1258 How could you forget the piano payments? 1.2558 0.04832 129 103 19 7
1259 It’s another one from the next island begging me to stop playing Margaritaville. 1.2558 0.04705 129 102 21 6
1260 It’s the same old refrain, again. 1.2556 0.04086 133 101 30 2
1261 Yep, it's our upstairs neighbor back home again, asking you to keep it down. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
1262 It doesn’t say anything here about how to get an octopus out of a piano. 1.2555 0.04399 137 107 25 5
1263 Looks like we have a little upbeat, sha-boom sha-boom, then right into the bridge 1.2555 0.04275 137 106 27 4
1264 Remember when I said to save the guitar? 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
1265 No! No! No! Thats supposed to be an E-sharp! 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1266 I’m gonna need some me time to finish this. 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
1267 Fyre Festival 2022. 1.2551 0.05089 98 76 19 3
1268 The dissonance of Bartok will be refreshing! Play on! 1.2551 0.05089 98 76 19 3
1269 Mahler. Nothing but Mahler. Aren't we depressed enough? 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
1270 Copacabana? Again? 1.2549 0.05155 102 80 18 4
1271 It's another copyright infringement notice. 1.2549 0.04963 102 79 20 3
1272 It's that guy Sting again. 1.2549 0.04963 102 79 20 3
1273 We need a new manager,this is not my idea of a resort gig 1.2549 0.05340 102 81 16 5
1274 Our timeshare deposit is non-refundable. 1.2549 0.04963 102 79 20 3
1275 There's ketchup on this 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1276 Just another last final notice to extend the car warranty. 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1277 They all seem to be coral arrangements. 1.2545 0.04907 110 86 20 4
1278 Would you like to play the 2nd movement now, or wait until the entire concerto gets here? 1.2545 0.04555 110 84 24 2
1279 Message In A Bottle" by The Police,ABBA's "SOS" and "Survivor" by Destiny's Child. What are the odds 1.2545 0.05393 110 89 14 7
1280 La Mer may be Debussy's most famous tune, but as far as I'm concerned you can add a 'de' to it. 1.2544 0.05109 114 91 17 6
1281 No one is willing to come tune the damn thing. 1.2544 0.04795 114 89 21 4
1282 How many times have I told them "We don't have an electric?" 1.2544 0.04795 114 89 21 4
1283 Are you sure? This is how the Captain and Tennille got started. 1.2542 0.04690 118 92 22 4
1284 Hey look, another 'Message in a Bottle.' 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
1285 Nope, still in the wrong key 1.2542 0.04533 118 91 24 3
1286 Last chance for our top prize: Romantic Island Getaway with Courtesy Moonlit Serenade 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
1287 If you say, "Should I play it again, Sam," one more time... 1.2541 0.04737 122 96 21 5
1288 I wish they’d bottled some sheet music. 1.2541 0.04737 122 96 21 5
1289 This one's by the beach boys. 1.2541 0.04592 122 95 23 4
1290 They want you to play the part but you have to arrange your own transportation. 1.2540 0.05032 126 102 16 8
1291 No one has anything good to say about your playing. 1.2540 0.04499 126 98 24 4
1292 Another arrangement for French horn. 1.2540 0.04053 126 95 30 1
1293 Couldn’t you have wished for a map? 1.2538 0.04544 130 102 23 5
1294 Damn it. They're all copies of the "Message in a Bottle." 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
1295 But none of the symphonies are finished... 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1296 They say you're still too loud. 1.2536 0.04607 138 110 21 7
1297 I like it, but make sure the bottle isn't Baroque. 1.2534 0.04326 146 115 25 6
1298 It's that same song by The Police again... 1.2533 0.04250 150 118 26 6
1299 Must be from a Beatles fan. It just says, 'Help!'. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1300 Beethoven Sixth this time. 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
1301 It's another letter from our agent. They want to know if we'll write a sequel to South Pacific. 1.2524 0.04921 103 80 20 3
1302 Oh, dear God. The third movement of the sonata got here before the Adagio movement." 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
1303 Drat! Another of our music compositions is rejected. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
1304 Our music's washed up. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1305 Please, Harold, just call customer service. This looks nothing like the canoe in the manual. 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1306 Caution: this warranty does not cover damage caused by shipwreck. 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1307 Another score with a key change in the 43rd measure! Are they all deaf? 1.2523 0.05327 107 86 15 6
1308 It’s a duet for piano and blown bottles. 1.2523 0.05349 111 90 14 7
1309 Our subscription will be terminated unless we remit payment within ten days. 1.2522 0.04426 115 88 25 2
1310 Here’s a request that’s NOT Billy Joel or Elton John. Can we do it? 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
1311 Five bottles, and still not a single one with sheet music. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1312 They say it's derivative. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1313 Once more, with feeling. 1.2520 0.04842 123 98 19 6
1314 It’s another request. Do you know “Rescue Me”? 1.2520 0.04703 123 97 21 5
1315 They all say the same thing: Play louder! 1.2520 0.04256 123 94 27 2
1316 What the . . .? And you don't even LOOK like Yoko? 1.2520 0.04097 123 93 29 1
1317 What? How can these all be scored for harpsichord and zither? 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1318 Another rejection? We will never get off this island! 1.2520 0.04869 127 102 18 7
1319 Oh, hell. It's more sheet music for oboe and strings. 1.2519 0.04641 131 104 21 6
1320 They're all for strings, Darlene. 1.2519 0.04766 131 105 19 7
1321 Great. So all we need now is two cellos and a bassoon. 1.2518 0.04462 139 110 23 6
1322 Play “Misty.” 1.2518 0.04343 139 109 25 5
1323 Our last song didn’t make the Top 40. We’re still uncharted. 1.2518 0.04800 139 113 17 9
1324 They STILL refuse to drop Joe Rogan. 1.2517 0.04490 143 114 22 7
1325 Were the reviews that bad?” 1.2517 0.04119 151 118 28 5
1326 It says, "play Misty for me." 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
1327 It’s all in the key of sea. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1328 I think we made a wrong turn. 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
1329 Fur Elise, again! 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
1330 Another one! "Sending out an SMS?! " Do they think that's funny? 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1331 The neighbors are asking us to turn it down a bit. 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1332 If there was a bridge maybe we could get out of here! 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
1333 It's just another taunting message asking if we've found "Middle Sea"? 1.2500 0.04835 128 103 18 7
1334 It's another noise complaint from the Homeowners Association. 1.2500 0.04437 128 100 24 4
1335 This review’s a stinker too. 1.2500 0.04437 128 100 24 4
1336 I can't take these constant revisions! 1.2500 0.05116 108 86 17 5
1337 He wants to know if we have a mask mandate! 1.2500 0.04942 124 100 17 7
1338 I think the urgency of our predicament would be better expressed by transposing to F-major. 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
1339 They’re all just trying to settle the score! 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
1340 Another request for "Yes, we have no bananas." 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1341 This is the key to getting out of here,so play on. 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1342 Looks like the bar closes in a few measures. 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
1343 The dark tone in the diminished fifth gets louder. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1344 This one says "Please don't play 'Message in a Bottle' anymore" 1.2500 0.04777 144 118 16 10
1345 Damn, it’s another notice that our piano warranty is about to expire! 1.2500 0.04397 136 107 24 5
1346 You have a request to play a song by Billy Joel. 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
1347 Drat! this guy wants to trade his boat for a piano, but says he gets wicked seasick 1.2500 0.04227 124 95 27 2
1348 They're ALL John Cage! 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
1349 this is not remotely helpful 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1350 Damn! It’s Handel’s Water Music. 1.2500 0.04573 128 101 22 5
1351 Drat.. all these coupons have already expired. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1352 Nuts! Another rejection from a music publisher. 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1353 We regret to inform you that once again your composition does not meet our continental standards. 1.2500 0.03783 132 99 33 0
1354 The music company says we need a bridge. 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
1355 This one is from Ludwig: Für Elise ... 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
1356 The essence of them all is, where can I listen free online? 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
1357 Must be from Bob Dylan. He says there must be some way out of here. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1358 Yes, it’s sheet music again, but we already have this one. 1.2500 0.04807 124 99 19 6
1359 At this point, it's all ragtime 1.2483 0.04213 145 114 26 5
1360 They’re wondering if we can play louder. 1.2482 0.04289 141 111 25 5
1361 I could've sworn I un-checked the Rachmaninov box. 1.2482 0.04630 141 114 19 8
1362 Nothing but offers to buy my house! 1.2482 0.04945 137 113 14 10
1363 The Willis' didn't invite us to their wedding! 1.2481 0.04579 133 106 21 6
1364 Congratulations! Because you stayed at a Hilton Hotel... 1.2481 0.04323 133 104 25 4
1365 It says we need an oboe too. 1.2481 0.04579 133 106 21 6
1366 He enjoyed “Alone Again, Naturally.” Now he wants to hear “Time in a Bottle.” 1.2481 0.04407 129 101 24 4
1367 They’ve sent another derivative work devoid of depth 1.2480 0.04349 125 97 25 3
1368 Guess outside distractions weren't the issue after all... 1.2480 0.04636 125 99 21 5
1369 It says you should be playing in the key of sea. 1.2479 0.05018 121 98 16 7
1370 Oh no, another request for “Sweet Caroline.” 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1371 4:33 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1372 Again with Row, Row, Row, Your Boat 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1373 Another damn fugue for oboe 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1374 It’s another long distance request from Casey Kasem. 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
1375 I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be in E-flat 1.2478 0.05111 113 91 16 6
1376 I only play by ear 1.2478 0.04624 113 88 22 3
1377 They are all violin concertos. 1.2478 0.05111 113 91 16 6
1378 We're so blessed, this is a music score for piano 1.2478 0.04954 113 90 18 5
1379 Damn! All these pieces are for harpsichord! 1.2478 0.05111 113 91 16 6
1380 Yes, they're sending a rescue ship but it's only for the piano. 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
1381 Not another duet. 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1382 It's another offer for an extended warranty. 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
1383 Are you absolutely certain you don't know 'Free Bird'? 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1384 This one is also scored for two pianos. 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1385 I think you need a haircut! 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1386 ‘Can you play, far, far away?’ 1.2475 0.04752 101 78 21 2
1387 I’m only able to find the lyrics to Gilligan’s Island. 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
1388 Can you just turn notifications off? 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1389 I still can't decide whether we should sign up for conversational Chinese or Russian. 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
1390 Someone named Sting wrote back, "No need to send any more, I've already called The Police." 1.2471 0.04239 170 138 22 10
1391 Looks like it’s in the key of Sea. 1.2466 0.04513 146 118 20 8
1392 Another Jimmy Buffet request. 1.2466 0.04299 146 116 24 6
1393 It says ‘We’ll get you off the key as soon as you’re on key.’ 1.2465 0.04708 142 116 17 9
1394 What’s a fella got to do to get some Bach or Beethoven to wash up!? It’s the.dang sheet music for Heart and Soul YET again. 1.2465 0.04378 142 113 23 6
1395 ... watch the sunrise on a distant isle,..." Such sarcasm, I can't take it anymore. 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
1396 This only has instructions on how to tuna fish. 1.2463 0.04424 134 106 23 5
1397 I sure hope he finishes this composition before we have to leave! 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
1398 Less crescendo. 1.2463 0.04162 134 104 27 3
1399 Request for "Isn't it Romantic." Abe and Sarah's 75th! 1.2463 0.04295 134 105 25 4
1400 Yeah, another ‘can’t make your recital’, with a really weak Covid excuse. 1.2462 0.04768 130 105 18 7
1401 And exactly how do the Strings join the second movement?? 1.2462 0.04377 130 102 24 4
1402 It's the sheet music for baby shark. 1.2462 0.04768 130 105 18 7
1403 This next one goes out to John and Susie, who celebrated their 10th anniversary 6 months ago in Santa Monica. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
1404 What I wouldn't do for something in D major 1.2460 0.04319 126 98 25 3
1405 Piano tuner desperately needed for stranded Steinway. 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
1406 it's the unfinished symphony 1.2459 0.04403 122 95 24 3
1407 Nope, just more stuff about the meaning of life. 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1408 Somebody should do something about these robo messages!" 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1409 I still can't finish it. 1.2459 0.04981 122 99 16 7
1410 They're disappointed we haven't pulled our stuff from Spotify. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
1411 I appears to be beginner piano lessons but it is written in Korean. 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
1412 Mama Mia! — the fifth pizzeria this week that won’t deliver! 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
1413 Spotify wants more money 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1414 Moonlight Sonata. Finally; someone with taste. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
1415 It’s from someone called Sting 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
1416 Just another song request. 1.2455 0.04690 110 86 21 3
1417 It’s good, but I’d change pilots life to pirates life, I prefer the rum. 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
1418 Clara, we'll never get this concerto published. He keeps editing and asking for changes in tempi, key and phrasing. 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
1419 We need a timpani player. 1.2455 0.04509 110 85 23 2
1420 I still can’t find a release clause in the time share contract. 1.2455 0.04509 110 85 23 2
1421 Play me off, Joanie! 1.2453 0.04798 106 83 20 3
1422 More changes! This is what I hate about out-of-town tryouts. 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
1423 The sheet music you wanted is back-ordered. 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
1424 This one's a request for a Sting song called... 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
1425 There's no variety anymore--every single one is an Ed Sheeran song! 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
1426 Still no tuning instructions. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
1427 Finally! They will rescue us if you stop playing ‘Chopsticks’ 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
1428 I think it’s time to eat the music. 1.2450 0.04199 151 120 25 6
1429 I see the dolphins’ parts are limited to squeals and grunts. 1.2449 0.04824 98 76 20 2
1430 We should tell them all that you don’t do requests. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
1431 High sea", eh? Everyone'a comedian 1.2449 0.05629 98 80 12 6
1432 Does no one have the sheet music for Island Girl? 1.2448 0.04571 143 116 19 8
1433 Here's another request for "Piano Man". 1.2446 0.04548 139 112 20 7
1434 How do we tell them that you don't know "Freebird"? 1.2444 0.04518 135 108 21 6
1435 I don't mind taking requests, but I asked to go paperless two months ago. 1.2444 0.04135 135 105 27 3
1436 It says that this is the third notice, and if we do not make a payment in two weeks, they will reposes the piano. 1.2444 0.04394 135 107 23 5
1437 Looks like everyone wants you to play 'Message in a Bottle'. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
1438 Sit tight...I'm still looking for your opening notes 1.2444 0.04394 135 107 23 5
1439 Another sonata for bassoon and cello . . . 1.2444 0.04518 135 108 21 6
1440 This isn't right either. I think you are going to need to just play it by ear. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1441 Damn, we try to get away to finish the show and our producer is still sending notes. 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1442 They say we are the Rodgers and Hammerstein of the South Pacific! 1.2439 0.04808 123 99 18 6
1443 Dang! Another "Water Music" score. 1.2439 0.04056 123 94 28 1
1444 Looks like another 90's hits karaoke night. 1.2437 0.05059 119 97 15 7
1445 They all say, "Play 'Far Far Away!'" 1.2437 0.04460 119 93 23 3
1446 You never did know the score. 1.2437 0.05059 119 97 15 7
1447 It’s another request. 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
1448 It says here, "To get off a desert island play 'Bridge Over Troubled Waters." 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
1449 It's all high Cs. 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
1450 It’s from your agent. The island tour is canceled due to Covid. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
1451 They always request the same tunes! 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
1452 Thank you for you incisive submission but Taylor Swift has already covered that topic 1.2432 0.05310 111 91 13 7
1453 Great. More Philip Glass. 1.2431 0.04324 144 115 23 6
1454 Stop! Gangnam Style has already been used as a song title. 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
1455 It says: "Please for the love of God, tune the piano!" 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
1456 Here's one you might like. "This is my island in the sun. 1.2427 0.04672 103 80 21 2
1457 Oates & Hall… Hall & Oates … I think we have bigger issues than our billing. 1.2427 0.05248 103 83 15 5
1458 Damn! More jazz. 1.2427 0.05063 103 82 17 4
1459 They say they want more "Hamilton" and less "Man of La Mancha". 1.2427 0.04672 103 80 21 2
1460 It’s the theme song from Gilligan’s Island. 1.2427 0.04871 103 81 19 3
1461 Oh! It says you put the lime in the coconut not the wine in the coconut! 1.2424 0.04318 132 104 24 4
1462 We may be stranded, but at least we have the luxuries of life: literature, music, and alcohol. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1463 Another Debussey "Le Mer" composition for cello! 1.2422 0.04401 128 101 23 4
1464 Looks like Sting is back on tour. 1.2422 0.04673 128 103 19 6
1465 It says, "Help, we're on our second honeymoon and the piano player doesn't know 'The Way We Were.'" 1.2421 0.05741 95 78 11 6
1466 I have no idea - but if you play this page next, it changes the whole complexion of the piece 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
1467 Still nothing for four hands! 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
1468 Reservations for your performance keep floating in . . . . 1.2419 0.04773 124 100 18 6
1469 They're all recommendations for piano tuners. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
1470 This is where the horns come in. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
1471 Moon, June......Maroon. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
1472 its says"94 bottles of beer on the wall, 94 bottles of beer... 1.2417 0.04427 120 94 23 3
1473 It says the next movement "may prove more difficult." It's for four hands, two pianos. 1.2417 0.04879 120 97 17 6
1474 Free Bird, again. 1.2414 0.04184 145 115 25 5
1475 It's the score from "Cast Away." 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1476 To receive Final Movement, please remit remaining bottle of rum. 1.2414 0.04519 116 91 22 3
1477 Request for "By the beautiful sea ..." 1.2414 0.04350 116 90 24 2
1478 ...You are my sunshine, my only sunshine... 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
1479 I don't think the lyrics convey the characters' desperation. 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
1480 Apparently our auto warranty is about to expire. 1.2414 0.06110 87 72 9 6
1481 Silencio, my dear. The John Cage estate is claiming copyright issues. 1.2411 0.04259 141 112 24 5
1482 It's coming to the climax. Quick, play something suspenseful. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
1483 No, this one is just another copy of Stairway to Heaven. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1484 It says he can name that tune in five notes. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
1485 Well, finally: Brahms's Hungarian Dances in four hands. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
1486 Looks like the 'Lost Chord' just washed up here. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1487 Just more misinformation 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
1488 This no-frills writer's retreat isn't working for me. 1.2409 0.04212 137 108 25 4
1489 'S.O.S.!' again? As if we don't have our own problems. 1.2409 0.04694 137 112 17 8
1490 Another one. The music for "South Pacific". Someone must know we're here. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
1491 It's another sea shanty. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
1492 Another duet 1.2407 0.04337 108 83 24 1
1493 Finally: the lyrics to “Gilligan’s Island”. 1.2407 0.05403 108 89 12 7
1494 Another rejection for our Rhapsody in Sea Major. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
1495 OK! Try this: ta ta ta DAH. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
1496 How about "Leaving on a Jet Plane"? 1.2406 0.04420 133 106 22 5
1497 What are the odds?!? Six copies of the theme music from "Gilligan's Island". 1.2406 0.04420 133 106 22 5
1498 This one isn't booze either. 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
1499 Here's a request. They want, 'Nearer my God to thee'" 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
1500 My car insurance may already have expired! 1.2404 0.04633 104 81 21 2
1501 This looks like a good one, but dammit, it needs a violin accompanist . 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
1502 Don't respond to the other requests and promises, I've been hacked........ 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
1503 This is the third time we've gotten Chopin's Concerto No. 1 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1504 They keep sending the wrong notes. 1.2403 0.04371 129 102 23 4
1505 Pitch for a streaming series where hearing is illegal?” “Pitch for a three-season Netflix show where revenge porn has replaced the dollar as America’s main currency?” If another one of these washes up, we should stay stranded or just kill ourselves 1.2400 0.04600 125 100 20 5
1506 Another request for 'Octopus's Garden.' 1.2400 0.04311 125 98 24 3
1507 It may have been a mistake to ask our agent to arrange a rescue. Here's another vague assurance. 1.2400 0.04458 125 99 22 4
1508 Here is an offer from a piano bar, one island over. 1.2400 0.04522 100 77 22 1
1509 Do you know 'It's Five O'Clock, Somewhere?' 1.2400 0.04458 125 99 22 4
1510 You can't blame the lack of inspiration on too many distractions. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
1511 They all say, "Play it again, Sam!" 1.2397 0.04159 146 116 25 5
1512 Nope, not sheet music either. Just another set of instructions on how to get home! 1.2397 0.04983 121 99 15 7
1513 Lesson number five. 1.2397 0.04236 121 94 25 2
1514 Damn! 'Heart And Soul' Again? 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
1515 They're all good messages but I don't think they're hits. 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
1516 Still no third movement! 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1517 Play in C, not in sea... 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
1518 It's another request for the theme to Gilligan's Island. 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
1519 Who is this joker who keeps sending us the music score for Groundhog Day? 1.2393 0.05381 117 98 10 9
1520 This one is in sea major. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
1521 Why do they keep sending the woodwinds score? 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
1522 It asks whether we have a right to sing the blues. 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
1523 Still, no adagio. 1.2389 0.04221 113 87 25 1
1524 Here it is...piano in a bottle instructions 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1525 It says our car warranty is expiring 1.2385 0.04608 130 105 19 6
1526 Does this song sound desperate enough? 1.2385 0.04860 130 107 15 8
1527 Who wrote this crap? 1.2384 0.04276 151 122 22 7
1528 Sorry, it's another piece for two pianos. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
1529 Are you sure those are instructions for building a piano raft? 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
1530 The reviews are in! 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
1531 Damn. The French horn part. Still no piano. 1.2381 0.05332 105 86 13 6
1532 Okay, we're screwed, they only accept submissions dated by December 5, 1990. 1.2381 0.05332 105 86 13 6
1533 Bach’s music can take you places 1.2381 0.04133 147 117 25 5
1534 When I asked god if he could send us back, I didn’t mean Bach. 1.2378 0.04958 143 121 10 12
1535 I don't have time to learn all these words! 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
1536 You ever wonder how this piano got here? 1.2377 0.04946 122 100 15 7
1537 Chuck and Kelly couldn’t help but wonder why every message in a bottle contained show tunes from Spongebob Squarepants: The Broadway Musical. 1.2377 0.04205 122 95 25 2
1538 It says, could you keep it down, the baby's napping. 1.2377 0.04363 122 96 23 3
1539 We need a bridge. 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
1540 Doesn't anyone write songs in C sharp anymore? 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
1541 It says the Steinway repair man can’t come until June. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
1542 Nope, this one's for clarinet too. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
1543 Where are the police when you need them? 1.2375 0.06225 80 66 9 5
1544 This is Casey Kasem with another long distance request. Message in a Bottle, by the Police. 1.2374 0.04519 139 113 19 7
1545 Ugh! It’s all Andrew Lloyd Webber music. 1.2373 0.04611 118 94 20 4
1546 You had better get famous fast. We're running out of bottles. 1.2373 0.04451 118 93 22 3
1547 Reason I left you No. 74: That lady you cheated on me with plays the same stupid song over and over. My advice: Use the bottles to a) cut the strings, b) use as ear plugs, or c) put her fingers in. My speedboat will drop off more messages tomorrow. 1.2373 0.05061 118 97 14 7
1548 Again with the double s in deserted! 1.2373 0.04611 118 94 20 4
1549 It says you’re technically proficient but you need to work on your expression. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
1550 It's another copy of "time in a bottle". I'm so done with this. 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
1551 It's an invitation to perform at the Kennedy Center, but it's for tomorrow! 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
1552 Thank heavens for your "Score of the Week" subscription. 1.2368 0.04712 114 91 19 4
1553 Urgh! stupid search engine. Every response for my query for 'interesting scores' is a proposition from single women. 1.2368 0.04545 114 90 21 3
1554 Can't send this one. Time in a Bottle is already taken. 1.2368 0.04370 114 89 23 2
1555 It’s another request for ‘You’re So Far Away’. 1.2368 0.04545 114 90 21 3
1556 This one is in C 1.2368 0.04712 114 91 19 4
1557 Looks like they want a Beach Boys medley 1.2366 0.04446 131 105 21 5
1558 We’ll title the song “Rescue Me.” Hopefully, Spotify will pick it up. 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
1559 Who's the idiot who keeps requesting The Ballad of Gilligan's Island? 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
1560 You've already mastered chopsticks and they keep sending it. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1561 Please stop. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1562 another trio.... 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
1563 It says the warranty is still good. But shipping is not included. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1564 IT SAYS HER THAT THE BIG BOTTLES ARE WORTH A NICKLE AND THE LITTLE ONES ONLY 2 CENTS. 1.2362 0.05056 127 106 12 9
1565 Gee whiz, Madge, they've ALL sent their regrets. The debut of our honky tonk version of "Duelling Chopsticks" is going to have to wait. [Fame continued to elude the Plinkers.] 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1566 The score says heavy on bass, but it doesn't say whether it should be wild-caught or farm fresh! 1.2362 0.04803 127 104 16 7
1567 It says that we're elibilble for an exended warranty on our purchase. 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
1568 The lost verses of American Pie... 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
1569 The record label says our listening base is too isolated. 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
1570 Babe. Babe! This says we have to go to somewhere called 'coda'! 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
1571 I don't care how many bottles we get, we're not playing "I Write the Songs". 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
1572 Another one addressed to the Florida keys. 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
1573 This ones from Billy Joel. 1.2358 0.04771 123 100 17 6
1574 Another hip hop piece ! Are you sure you checked the “classic” box ? 1.2358 0.04483 123 98 21 4
1575 How many sea shanties ARE there? 1.2358 0.04909 123 101 15 7
1576 Forever on This Island” just sounds so depressing 1.2358 0.04483 123 98 21 4
1577 Ninety-five bottles of beer... 1.2358 0.04483 123 98 21 4
1578 They're all "Chopsticks". 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
1579 Oh, wait. It’s pianississimo. 1.2353 0.05022 119 98 14 7
1580 Let’s do “Don't get around much anymore.” 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
1581 There's a Norwegian Cruise ship due to pass here in about a month. That should give you enough practice time to get ready. 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
1582 They still don't get it--what we really want is the rum. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1583 It keeps saying: Play it again Sam. 1.2353 0.04205 136 108 24 4
1584 Ok, how about "Some Enchanted Evening"? 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
1585 Hmmm, it says, 'For the last time, keep it down, I'm trying to get some sleep over here!' 1.2353 0.04254 119 93 24 2
1586 They're really pushing the expired car warranty line 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1587 South Pacific. Again. 1.2348 0.04004 132 103 27 2
1588 More Chopin. 1.2348 0.04146 132 104 25 3
1589 It's another Cease and Desist letter from ASCAP. . . 1.2348 0.04283 132 105 23 4
1590 Finally! The new issue of ‘Desert Island Piano Duets.’ 1.2348 0.04004 132 103 27 2
1591 They continue to hear you in seashells. 1.2348 0.04545 132 107 19 6
1592 That submarine captain is taunting us with K-pop again. 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
1593 Great. Another unfinished symphony. 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
1594 It says here we need a tuning fork. But we also need a regular fork. 1.2348 0.04676 115 92 19 4
1595 It's another complaint from the neighbors. 1.2347 0.04541 98 76 21 1
1596 Sarah, these squiggly lines are starting to make sense to me... 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
1597 Come Sail Away is already a song. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1598 Apparently the reviewers think we've taken this off-off-off Broadway thing too far. 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
1599 La Mer, la Mer, toujours la Mer. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
1600 When I said you were four sheets to the wind, this isn't what I meant. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1601 Now the fish have offered to teach you how to properly play scales! 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1602 I can’t believe this! Every one of these is the piano notation for Chopsticks - “Pianissimo” 1.2340 0.05542 94 77 12 5
1603 Honey, we're almost out of toilet paper. 1.2339 0.04737 124 101 17 6
1604 I knew we should have gotten the extended warranty. 1.2339 0.04451 124 99 21 4
1605 ..yeah, if you didn’t want to play those..you are not going to like ‘Yes, We Have No Bananas’ 1.2339 0.04301 124 98 23 3
1606 no coda again. We're never going to get home. 1.2339 0.04451 124 99 21 4
1607 Sez here, 'Face it boys, your career's washed up. ' 1.2338 0.03994 154 123 26 5
1608 Johann, isn't wine, women and song enough for you? 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
1609 The Manilow takes it up another half step for the finale. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
1610 Once again, it's sheet music for "Time in a Bottle" 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
1611 Can you keep it down up there? 1.2336 0.04178 137 109 24 4
1612 What does 'coda' mean? 1.2333 0.04054 120 93 26 1
1613 Now they want us to change it to ’the Professor and Mary Ann.’ 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
1614 Another request for something in the key of sea… 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
1615 Great - another Jimmy Buffett song. 1.2333 0.04694 120 97 18 5
1616 Come on,really? Handel 1.2333 0.04223 120 94 24 2
1617 You’d think Sting would have something better to do. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
1618 I can't believe we've never played this one. 1.2333 0.04841 120 98 16 6
1619 This completes book one of “Teaching Little Fingers to Play.” 1.2333 0.04223 120 94 24 2
1620 You have another request. 1.2331 0.04639 133 109 17 7
1621 The next part’s in sea minor. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
1622 It’s another request for Piano Man. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
1623 Finally a show tune in a bottle! 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
1624 I just feel stuck 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
1625 Finally! Something to use as toilet paper 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
1626 Well, now we have five copies of "Come Sail Away". 1.2330 0.04407 103 80 22 1
1627 ...and yet another Baby Shark score! 1.2329 0.04012 146 116 26 4
1628 You’re being sued for your cover of ISLAND GIRL. 1.2328 0.04127 116 90 25 1
1629 This is the 5th Covid test in a bottle we got this week. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
1630 It's another request to turn the music down. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
1631 It’s the castaways on the next island over. They are not thrilled with the Beethoven. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
1632 Dave is visibly frustrated to receive yet another “Message in a Bottle” song request. 1.2326 0.04606 129 105 18 6
1633 Dang, It's Schubert's 'Unfinished' 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
1634 Step 5:Download the Steinway App 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
1635 It's from Sting. It seems we're not alone in being alone. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
1636 Another recipe for baked Alaska 1.2321 0.04203 112 87 24 1
1637 This one says, "Help, I'm stranded on a desert island with only a volleyball." 1.2321 0.05071 112 92 14 6
1638 Nope, this isn't the 5th movement. 1.2321 0.04570 112 89 20 3
1639 I don't think we have two tickets to paradise anymore 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
1640 It's another request for 'Strangers On The Shore'. 1.2321 0.04570 112 89 20 3
1641 This one's an ad for another cruise line. 1.2321 0.04570 112 89 20 3
1642 NO, I don't know "Do you know the way to San Jose"? 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
1643 I don't think our piano bar is ever going to turn a profit. 1.2316 0.04351 95 73 22 0
1644 It's a request for something less Tropical 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
1645 No amount of hootch can make me hate you any less, Rodgers and Hammerstein! 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
1646 We still haven’t found the lost chord. 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
1647 The Macarena again! We're doomed. 1.2315 0.05361 108 90 11 7
1648 It's another request for "Far Far Away" in a high C. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
1649 These songs are terrible… 1.2314 0.04805 121 99 16 6
1650 Mom can't make the concert? Pity. 1.2314 0.04509 121 97 20 4
1651 Stop playing that fucking piano! I’m trying to read! 1.2313 0.04484 134 109 19 6
1652 This doe's not say anything about whether a piano will float. 1.2308 0.04272 117 92 23 2
1653 Damn, nothing here for a duet! 1.2308 0.05333 104 86 12 6
1654 No, it's Fur Elise again... 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
1655 Another request,this time for Beyond the Sea. 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
1656 This one doesn’t allow for coconut accompaniment either. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
1657 This says “music can save your life” but it doesn’t say how. Well, keep reading. 1.2308 0.04961 91 72 17 2
1658 Encore, encore. 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
1659 Dear Santa... 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
1660 Let’s try this and see if it floats 1.2308 0.04441 130 105 20 5
1661 It's encrypted. 1.2308 0.04761 117 95 17 5
1662 Yeah . . . another Jimmy Buffet tune. 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
1663 I agree that Piano Man is sexist, but it's true. I never had time for a wife. Until now. 1.2302 0.04802 126 104 15 7
1664 Let's just face the music. We're never getting out of here. 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
1665 Beyond the Sea" again 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
1666 Roll in flour,then eggs… 1.2301 0.04356 113 89 22 2
1667 Damn, it's all Barry Manilow 1.2301 0.04356 113 89 22 2
1668 It says "I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle" and it's signed by Sting. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
1669 There is not one upbeat lyric in the bunch. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
1670 Finally, the second verse of 'Chopsticks' 1.2301 0.05184 113 94 12 7
1671 None of this sheet music is for a piano solo. 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
1672 Did you subscribe? 1.2301 0.04356 113 89 22 2
1673 getting stuck with Sting on a desert island gets boring after the 5th straight message in a bottle rendition. Believe me.. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
1674 It could be the wine but I think I can finally read music. 1.2300 0.05291 100 82 13 5
1675 It's another one for dueling panios. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1676 Remember Captain Hook? Well he finally delivered. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
1677 Apparently, the last guy on this island sang it a cappella. 1.2299 0.06052 87 73 8 6
1678 Could you sing louder so someone can save us? 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
1679 These lyrics are so derivative. And who the hell is the pretentious castaway? 1.2299 0.06269 87 74 6 7
1680 Play "Rescue Me" 1.2296 0.04576 135 111 17 7
1681 Some dude named Schubert. 1.2296 0.03926 135 106 27 2
1682 Unbelievable, it is the baby shark sheet music again! 1.2295 0.05045 122 102 12 8
1683 Chopsticks. Again. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1684 Just more lyrics from the Police… 1.2295 0.04909 122 101 14 7
1685 It's one more whale who wants you slow the tempo." 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
1686 This is a recipe for disaster. 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
1687 They are all asking to hear the theme song from “ Fantasy Island” 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
1688 We've taken this solo too far. 1.2292 0.04376 144 118 19 7
1689 It's all Handel's Water Music. 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
1690 They want to know if we are familiar with the song, “Time in a Bottle “. 1.2288 0.04408 118 94 21 3
1691 We really should have read the fine print. 1.2288 0.04408 118 94 21 3
1692 It’s all yacht rock music. 1.2288 0.04725 118 96 17 5
1693 Yeah, this one is the 'Gilligan's Island' theme too. 1.2288 0.05022 118 98 13 7
1694 Let's go with this one...it has a catchy refrain. 1.2288 0.03884 118 91 27 0
1695 So, this was the Titanic music cruise? 1.2288 0.04569 118 95 19 4
1696 It’s another long-distance dedication… 1.2288 0.04725 118 96 17 5
1697 Can you play a bit louder? 1.2288 0.04725 118 96 17 5
1698 Keep practicing. The next one could be from your agent. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1699 I can’t take these positive affirmations anymore! This one says, “I am the creator of my best life.” 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1700 Oh,great. We got the unfinished concerto. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1701 They all say they're tired of La Mer. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1702 You want to eat Bach or Mozart first? 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1703 Oh no! Another copy of "Message in a bottle" 1.2286 0.04098 140 112 24 4
1704 We would rescue you, but you've got to leave that out-of-tune piano behind. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
1705 And this guy says, “please, please, no more Adele!” 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1706 No... they don't deliver either... 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
1707 Perhaps our price for a lesson is too high? 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
1708 Aargh! It's another minor note! 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1709 All they send is "Messsage in a bottle" 1.2283 0.04498 127 103 19 5
1710 O Freunde, nicht diese Toene... 1.2283 0.04211 127 101 23 3
1711 Five cancellations so far for your recital. 1.2283 0.03740 127 98 29 0
1712 Arpeggios on archipelagos sounded a lot better on paper. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1713 The next request is for Freebird 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1714 More sheet music! Can you play "Come Sail Away" by Styx? 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1715 It still says my guitar is out for delivery 1.2281 0.04323 114 90 22 2
1716 It's another request for "Take me home, Country Road" 1.2279 0.04171 136 109 23 4
1717 Remember all the requests we used to get for "Beyond the Sea?" 1.2279 0.04424 136 111 19 6
1718 This one says to keep your head up cause the sun will come up tomorrow. 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
1719 oh no – not another copy of Rachmaninov's Isle of the Dead! 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
1720 Our student loan agent says this is our final warning. 1.2276 0.04291 123 98 22 3
1721 Another request for ‘Moondance’. Didn’t you play that in your last set? 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
1722 This one's from a listener who thinks your act should be a solo. 1.2273 0.04217 110 86 23 1
1723 At this rate, we'll never get Bach! 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
1724 This IS the one,Sonata in “Sea Major!” J Kinsey Toronto, ONT Kinseyjody33@gmail.com 1.2273 0.05111 110 91 13 6
1725 O my God! We are listed as performing artists at the Kennedy Center at a gala on January first, 2019! And my tux is in upstate New York! 1.2273 0.05271 110 92 11 7
1726 It's a request for the theme song from LOST. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
1727 put the lime in the coconut 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
1728 It's the score to "Message in a Bottle." 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
1729 Once again, it's from the people on the next island over. Once again, they want to know if you're ever going to get beyond chopsticks. 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
1730 Humpf. Another copy of 'Sailing Away'. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
1731 OK, we've got three choices: "Just the Two of Us," "Tea for Two," and "Island in the Sun." 1.2270 0.04430 141 116 18 7
1732 It’s another request for the Piña Colada song. 1.2269 0.04689 119 97 17 5
1733 Too many notes. 1.2269 0.04689 119 97 17 5
1734 Oh, no -- it's all the music of Yoko Ono! 1.2269 0.04839 119 98 15 6
1735 Bottles of Whine 1.2269 0.04535 119 96 19 4
1736 It's another image of Andrew Breitbart the night of his death. He's got a Meat Lover's™ pizza and he's shaking crushed Vicodin on it, as if the Vicodin were parmesan... No, I don't know what it means. No, you cannot play this on the piano 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
1737 If Beethoven can write music when he’s deaf, imagine what I could do drunk 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
1738 I said 'keep it down.' 1.2268 0.04274 97 75 22 0
1739 Another rendition of Just the Two of Us. You have to admit, our fans have a sense of humor." 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
1740 I pray for bottles of bock beer, I get Bach in beer bottles. 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
1741 It’s another negative review. 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
1742 Ugh! Another one that just says "Play Free Bird!" 1.2267 0.04139 150 122 22 6
1743 If Sting sends one more message in a bottle, I'm going to lose it! 1.2266 0.04466 128 104 19 5
1744 This one wants you to play Melancholy Baby! 1.2266 0.04466 128 104 19 5
1745 Yup, yet another refrain. 1.2266 0.04327 128 103 21 4
1746 They are all duets for bottle and washboard. 1.2266 0.04862 128 107 13 8
1747 It’s the sheet music for ‘Nowhere Man’..” 1.2266 0.04466 128 104 19 5
1748 Nope. The fifth revision still doesn't resolve. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1749 How can we make progress when our "Learn to Play" lessons arrive out of sequence? 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
1750 I guess I can hum the orchestra part. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
1751 Oh give me a home, where the buffalo roam .... 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1752 They hate your cover of Ocean Eyes. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
1753 Looks like more of the same John Denver stuff 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
1754 This one's good lets float it by our agent. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1755 Oh no! Another violin concerto. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
1756 Another request...to stop playing Margaritaville. 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
1757 Did you have to subscribe us to the Philip Glass Society? 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
1758 Forget it. It's just another suggestion for the coda. 1.2258 0.04260 124 99 22 3
1759 The sheet music for "Leaving on a jet plane" has finally arrived. 1.2258 0.04260 124 99 22 3
1760 How many times do I have to say it? We don't take requests! 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
1761 They're complaining about the noise after dark. 1.2258 0.04260 124 99 22 3
1762 This request is for Aretha's "Rescue Me". 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
1763 I think our message should end on a high, optimistic note. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
1764 Beethoven for the fifth time. C minor. Hmm hmm hmm hmm. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
1765 There's an advertisement here for a searching company. Should we call and ask about their services? 1.2254 0.04287 142 116 20 6
1766 He wants you play it more up tempo 1.2252 0.04735 111 90 17 4
1767 Another one from Sting. 1.2252 0.04904 111 91 15 5
1768 And where are we supposed to find ten soprano crickets? 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
1769 Let's see how this plays out. 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
1770 It keeps repeating: "Keep the noise down!" 1.2252 0.04375 111 88 21 2
1771 They changed the menu again!!! No more beef kabobs!!! 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
1772 This one's from your piano teacher... 'Keep your fingers curled and practice, practice, PRACTICE!' 1.2252 0.04735 111 90 17 4
1773 Due to the voting rights act not passing, this became the lone address for mail-in ballots 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1774 Why is is always the score for “Hair”? 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1775 Dang! Another three-part harmony. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1776 It ends with, “Row row row your boat.” 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1777 This one says, "Next verse same as the first." 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1778 Mendelssohn again? 1.2250 0.04178 120 95 23 2
1779 It’s just more fucking Sting lyrics 1.2248 0.04700 129 107 15 7
1780 From the top: country roads, take me home... 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
1781 They're all written for solo cello! 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
1782 It's the score to South Pacific! 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
1783 Five copies of "Surfin USA"? 1.2246 0.04243 138 112 21 5
1784 Honey, the neighbours have sent us another noise complaint. 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
1785 What's wrong with these people. None of this is the sheet music that I ordered 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
1786 Damn. Another request for Piano Man. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
1787 It's called 'We Don't Talk About Bruno.' 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
1788 I still think S.O.S by Abba is the best one to send 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
1789 It's another message from Sting! 1.2243 0.05525 107 91 8 8
1790 Invited to Sarah's dinner party again...How many more ways can I tell her we're not going to make it before she gets the hint? 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
1791 Last month, the New Yorker feature a piano in a cartoon. Anyone hear of a trombone? 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
1792 I really regret so emphatically stating ‘Nothing but Bartók!’ when asked with what three books I’d want to be stranded on a deserted island. 1.2241 0.04911 116 96 14 6
1793 Before I knew it, my three wishes were up. 1.2241 0.04596 116 94 18 4
1794 It's the theme song for Gilligan's Island, again! 1.2241 0.04429 116 93 20 3
1795 It just says, well done, could please play it one more time?" John Straayer, Ft. Collins, C 1.2240 0.04524 125 102 18 5
1796 Ugh, this is the fifth request this week for ‘Message in a Bottle.’ What is it with these people? 1.2239 0.04322 134 109 20 5
1797 They're all requests for 'Free Bird' 1.2239 0.04695 134 112 14 8
1798 They're all the same: Row, Row, Row Your Boat. 1.2238 0.04593 143 120 14 9
1799 It's the last page of Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 3. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
1800 Franz Schu…. he DID finish it! 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
1801 A ukulele? Seriously 1.2234 0.05691 94 79 9 6
1802 It says here that you're supposed to take turns... 1.2233 0.05150 103 85 13 5
1803 Another message. What we need are notes. 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
1804 Well! they are still looking for the balance on the Steinway. 1.2233 0.04348 103 81 21 1
1805 We just have to work on the bridge and then it will all connect! 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
1806 I probably shouldn't try to hit the High C's again. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
1807 I can't find the atoll free number for help. 1.2233 0.05332 103 86 11 6
1808 It says we need to logon to our account to renew our Amazon Prime. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
1809 We've just been Rickrolled. 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
1810 It says - No more Cole Porter 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
1811 I have had it with all these requests for “Help!” 1.2232 0.04340 112 89 21 2
1812 Another request for Handel's Water Music.... 1.2232 0.05027 112 93 13 6
1813 I didn’t know how to read music BEFORE the shipwreck, so… 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
1814 I think we grabbed the wrong instructions,this will never float. 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
1815 Finally! They sent Schumann's Vier Gesänge op. 142. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
1816 This would have been easier to read 4 bottles ago. 1.2231 0.04467 121 98 19 4
1817 Seems to just be another request for Piano Man. 1.2231 0.05046 121 102 11 8
1818 Another extended warranty solicitation. These guys are relentless! 1.2231 0.04404 130 106 19 5
1819 Keep playing. This is our final notice to cease and desist. 1.2230 0.04215 139 113 21 5
1820 They all want to see a seating chart! 1.2230 0.03826 139 110 27 2
1821 I think it’s time we discussed priorities. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1822 I don't know about you, but I'm getting pretty tired of these Desert Island Playlists." 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
1823 I wanted to send a whole note in a bottle, not a half note. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1824 They wanna hear Piano Man. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
1825 It’s a request for In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
1826 This one says "Please keep the music down after ten o'clock". 1.2222 0.04631 126 104 16 6
1827 This next movement is going to be hard without violins. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
1828 It's almost there...It's quarter to three There's no one in the place 'cept you and a tree 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
1829 Have we won an Emmy yet? 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
1830 Today's devotional says, " Use your talents and they will take you somewhere"! 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
1831 Dang, Doris, we're still missing pages 6 and 7. 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
1832 'It says I deserve fruit, where is it?' 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
1833 Looks like we missed bottle number five… 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
1834 It's Sting again, he wants the piano. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
1835 Aghh! Another mistake. You can't rhyme help with rescue. 1.2222 0.04027 135 108 24 3
1836 She wants to hear Bali Hai! 1.2222 0.05648 90 75 10 5
1837 Sorry, dear... another one by John Cage. 1.2222 0.03742 135 106 28 1
1838 It’s our atoll neighbors again. They are sick and tired of the same old tunes 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
1839 Wait—there IS a c-sharp in measure 80! 1.2222 0.05478 99 83 10 6
1840 Still no Beatles.... 1.2222 0.04492 126 103 18 5
1841 I cannot understand my Manager; NONE OF THESE ARE EVEN IN MY KEY!!!!!! 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
1842 This version is called, “Letter in a Bottle” 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
1843 According to this map we seem to be in the middle sea. 1.2222 0.04225 117 93 22 2
1844 Honey, the title, "Cannibalism On My Mind" is starting to bother me. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
1845 These are all for bassoon! 1.2214 0.04238 131 106 21 4
1846 ANOTHER request for 'Island Girl'? 1.2214 0.04374 131 107 19 5
1847 Beyond the Sea"? Seriously? That's all we have 1.2213 0.04279 122 98 21 3
1848 It's the final verse. 1.2213 0.04279 122 98 21 3
1849 I see we've been canceled in Bakersfield, Fresno, and Broken Zipper Utah. 1.2213 0.05008 122 103 11 8
1850 Honey, I’m SO GLAD that YOU decided to choose the piano as our third and final item… 1.2213 0.04434 122 99 19 4
1851 People just don't get that we want to write our own songs. 1.2213 0.04584 122 100 17 5
1852 Another dinner invitation to the other side of the island. 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
1853 A guy’s pleading we tune the piano. 1.2212 0.04306 113 90 21 2
1854 We'll send an SOS once we get a record deal. 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
1855 Just my luck ... we need tuna fish and they tell me how to tune a piano. 1.2212 0.04486 113 91 19 3
1856 It’s from that Bolero guy again. 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
1857 OMG a message without SOS! 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
1858 This isnt the type of movement that I had in mind... 1.2212 0.04986 113 94 13 6
1859 I wish they'd stop sending the theme song to Gilligan's Island. 1.2212 0.04986 113 94 13 6
1860 Well..., the reviews are not as bad as we thought they would be.... 1.2212 0.04986 113 94 13 6
1861 They thought you Rachmaninov 2, showed promise. 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
1862 Another hater who doesn't like Heart and Soul 1.2212 0.05284 104 87 11 6
1863 He's taken out all the high "Cs'. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
1864 Its a letter from Brian Wilson. He says he likes our process. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
1865 My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean" again 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
1866 These are all for the ukelele. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
1867 Do I want to know what you wrote this with? 1.2211 0.04775 95 76 17 2
1868 We keep getting the same request, “Message in a Bottle.” 1.2211 0.04775 95 76 17 2
1869 Begins and ends on a sea note. 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
1870 We’re being evicted! 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
1871 It’s still just the first two pages… 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
1872 Wants an invitation to come over & tune it. 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
1873 Now it's too sharp 1.2211 0.04775 95 76 17 2
1874 The latest bottle to float to shore does indeed contain sheet music, and once again it’s scored for a bassoon, not a piano and of course useless 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
1875 Darn, its another copy of "If your happy and you know it, clap your hands" 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
1876 Finally! The sheet music for Oronico Flow! Sail away, sail away.... 1.2205 0.03859 127 100 26 1
1877 It's the sheet music for "Message In A Bottle". 1.2205 0.03859 127 100 26 1
1878 This one is addressed to someone named 'Sting' too. Someone should tell the Police 1.2203 0.04525 118 96 18 4
1879 I'll sing, you play: " The loveliness of Paris seems somehow sadly gay, the glory that was Rome is of another day, I've been terribly alone and forgotten in Manhattan, I'm going home to my city by the Bay. I left my heart in San Francisco..." 1.2203 0.04835 118 98 14 6
1880 These messages just keep bringing more treble. 1.2203 0.04193 118 94 22 2
1881 Eureka! The score of South Pacific! 1.2203 0.04362 118 95 20 3
1882 I'll call it La Mer. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
1883 I’m afraid it’s time to face the facts; our lounge act is all washed up. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
1884 This one says,"HELP!" Ooh,a Beatles song would be nice. 1.2202 0.04195 109 86 22 1
1885 Oh crap. Another typo. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
1886 Fifth and final notice. Make the payments, or they repossess the piano. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
1887 We should never have bought it without knowing all the terms and conditions first 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
1888 It's only a matter of time before we get some piano tuning instructions in English. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
1889 Darn it! This isn't discordant harmony---I think we've been reading Christmas music upside down and backwards all these months! 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
1890 This reads they’re evicting us unless all back rent is paid by next week 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
1891 They say TIME IN A BOTTLE has already been done. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
1892 This is the only one with 'encore' - the others are just 'applause' 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
1893 The oceans have risen and the world is over as we knew it. How are we still receiving junk mail? 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
1894 Another rejection letter! 1.2197 0.04475 132 109 17 6
1895 I’m getting tired of all these requests. 1.2195 0.03921 123 97 25 1
1896 It's from Don Ho. 1.2195 0.04248 123 99 21 3
1897 Five bottles and they're all filled with take-out menus. 1.2193 0.04946 114 95 13 6
1898 The requests are pouring in for New Wave music. 1.2193 0.04451 114 92 19 3
1899 Maybe we should not title our song from a 1960's television show. 1.2190 0.04056 105 82 23 0
1900 They want us to play 'Freedbird'. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
1901 Row, row, row your—let's not do that one. 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
1902 Why is the rum gone? 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
1903 He wants us to change keys. 1.2190 0.04276 105 83 21 1
1904 Don't forget; the guy that picks up the recyclables comes by tomorrow. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
1905 All these notes are from Debussy's La Mer. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
1906 This one has a bridge in it, too! Why can’t we crack this code? 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
1907 It’s a story about a couple stranded on an island who built a raft from an upside down piano and empty bottles. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
1908 Oh Duo Mio! 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
1909 It’s another one for Elise. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
1910 It's from a seagull wanting to know if we do bar mitzvahs. 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
1911 I wish you would use our bottles for seeking help, not Bach. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
1912 I saw the humor in 'Watermusic' and 'La Mer,' but 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat' is a bit over the top. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
1913 It's a cease and desist from the NBC Symphony Orchestra, we're to stop playing "Victory At Sea." 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
1914 It's a request for "Row row row your boat" 1.2188 0.05381 96 80 11 5
1915 This latest one says "Page 8 of 23" 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
1916 Would you believe another request for 'Message in a Bottle'? 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
1917 It's another Jimmy Buffett Margaritaville. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
1918 You know, that Wilson sure had a way of writing about loneliness and isolation. 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
1919 Debussy's 'La Mer' again! 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
1920 They sent the tenor sax score. Again. 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
1921 Says we aren't welcome back. 1.2185 0.04798 119 99 14 6
1922 Spotify rejected us again. 1.2185 0.04491 119 97 18 4
1923 You packed the wrong desert island music! 1.2185 0.04491 119 97 18 4
1924 Marge, we still can't go home. This latest bottle of music is even more ominous than the LAST two years! A pandemic, a failed coup, Betty White died... I don't even WANT to know what THIS is the soundtrack to! 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
1925 That Wolfgang guy on the other island just doesn’t quit! 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
1926 This one is from my mother who says ‘Now you’ll have time to practice’. 1.2182 0.04545 110 89 18 3
1927 Nope. The symphonie is still unfinished. 1.2182 0.05227 110 93 10 7
1928 Damn. The score is by Phillip Glass. 1.2182 0.05065 110 92 12 6
1929 I can't sing in this key! 1.2182 0.04725 110 90 16 4
1930 He says this is the end of Act One, you're up for the musical interlude, and the guy two islands down is finishing the set. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
1931 Another one, but still no piano solos. It's all orchestral nonsense! 1.2177 0.04370 124 101 19 4
1932 It's from the Gershwins. We're fired. 1.2177 0.04799 124 104 13 7
1933 It’s no good…they’re all Police songs. 1.2177 0.04058 124 99 23 2
1934 Well, the good news is that it is indeed Gershwin. The bad news is that it's the third prelude in E-flat minor, not the second prelude in C-sharp minor, so, looks like we'll have to wait for another bottle. 1.2174 0.04240 115 92 21 2
1935 A tune from South Pacific looks easy but won’t lift your spirits 1.2174 0.05535 92 77 10 5
1936 Don't they know you stopped taking requests? 1.2174 0.05060 115 97 11 7
1937 Return this for 20% off romantic vacation to Thousand Islands New York. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
1938 Here's ANOTHER one telling us to hold down the noise! 1.2174 0.04240 115 92 21 2
1939 Can u write caption re enclosed cartoon showing stranded couple & a piano on tiny island? —Best, P. C. Vey 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
1940 ANOTHER DAMN REQUEST FOR MELANCHOLY BABY! 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
1941 If only they'd send an actual Pina colada! 1.2174 0.05535 92 77 10 5
1942 I'm leaving you if you don't make up your mind now. 1.2174 0.04749 115 95 15 5
1943 Okay, now let's try, 'Ride of the Valkyries,' that always seems to bring helicopters in the movies! 1.2174 0.04592 92 73 18 1
1944 We can't even give it away... 1.2174 0.04240 115 92 21 2
1945 Damn! I told them all my Chopin desert island choices, and they keep sending Beethoven. 1.2171 0.04792 129 109 12 8
1946 I'm guessing we're somewhere in the Grand Bahamas. 1.2171 0.04257 129 105 20 4
1947 It's set to the music for a requiem. Something about morte. 1.2170 0.05017 106 88 13 5
1948 Nope, this one’s also unfinished. 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
1949 Middle page is missing again! 1.2170 0.04645 106 86 17 3
1950 We’re still missing two bottles’ worth. 1.2170 0.04240 106 84 21 1
1951 It's from Billy Ocean's lawyer... something about royalties. 1.2170 0.05193 106 89 11 6
1952 Oh no, this has a string section. 1.2167 0.04611 120 99 16 5
1953 They’ll rescue us if we work for scale. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
1954 Everyone will think we stole the title "Help" from the Beatles. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
1955 It says to get the rest of the lyrics log in to your Gmail account. 1.2162 0.04322 111 89 20 2
1956 Am I drunk or is there a harmonica solo but the song is called Piano Man?! 1.2162 0.04858 111 92 14 5
1957 Geez.....not a mention of their return policy 1.2162 0.05023 111 93 12 6
1958 Bottle shipping taking too long. Pls upgrade to Amazon Prime. 1.2162 0.04858 111 92 14 5
1959 Never Gonna Give You Up" again! 1.2162 0.04322 111 89 20 2
1960 Just like the others,signed: "Love,Sting." 1.2162 0.04128 111 88 22 1
1961 It says, "Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down" 1.2162 0.04508 111 90 18 3
1962 I may be wrong but this looks like another request for "Rescue Me"! 1.2162 0.05023 111 93 12 6
1963 Fake news again... 1.2160 0.04626 125 104 15 6
1964 More water music. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
1965 It's yet another copy of that repetitive song by some guy named Sting. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1966 How do you play S.O.S. in G? 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
1967 Bob from Poughkeepsie is requesting Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1968 Wow do they have the wrong address. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
1969 Bad news, dear. Jim Croce has died. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1970 He says he still hasn't been paid for the first four lessons. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1971 It's official – Tupac is in for executive producer! 1.2157 0.04951 102 84 14 4
1972 Wait, it's the "Theme From Jaws" again. 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
1973 Another ad for a piano tuner 1.2157 0.04951 102 84 14 4
1974 It's from the Coast Guard. They want us to keep it down. 1.2157 0.05329 102 86 10 6
1975 Two more bottles and we'll have an entire Buffet album. 1.2157 0.04951 102 84 14 4
1976 I'll be damned... yet another score to that song by the Police. Catchy tune, though, can you play it? 1.2157 0.04323 102 81 20 1
1977 Holy sheet. Another request. 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
1978 It's Piano Man by Billy Joel. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
1979 They all have the words to "Message in a Bottle." 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
1980 No, I refuse to play Moonlight Sonata in the daytime! 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
1981 Wait, so it's fish that are sending us these? Well, that explains the dying squid noises. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
1982 The neighbors again, complaining about the noise. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
1983 It’s the score from “South Pacific”! 1.2155 0.04711 116 96 15 5
1984 This one says Bali Hai'i is not original. 1.2155 0.04711 116 96 15 5
1985 I don’t care how many suggestions they send, I just do not want to sing the Blues 1.2155 0.04207 116 93 21 2
1986 Oh,no! Another aria with high seas! 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
1987 We have run out of paperweights. 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
1988 It's our fifth final offer to extend the piano warranty. 1.2151 0.05481 93 78 10 5
1989 Somewhat outdated no, honey? I wrote this! 1.2151 0.04284 93 73 20 0
1990 There is just no way this is the right Ikea manual. 1.2151 0.04798 93 75 16 2
1991 At last, a note in our key! 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
1992 What the hell, Sharon? It says here eating a single piano key can sustain an adult for two weeks. Why would keep this from me? 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1993 Elton john left them standing 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
1994 Message in bottle reads. Musical request,“Return to Sender Address Unknown”. 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
1995 Sorry, this one's "Message in a bottle" too. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
1996 God! Not another Fur Elise! 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1997 Looks like it’s rag time again. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
1998 For Pete's sake, can't they request anything besides Pacabel's Canon. I'm so sick of that!! 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
1999 Not a single sonata. 1.2148 0.04124 135 110 21 4
2000 Another castaway looking to form a rock band. 1.2143 0.04307 126 103 19 4
2001 It’s another one from Sting. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2002 This one says, "I wanna hold your hand." Awww... 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
2003 Our low-class neighbors say 'turn it down.' 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
2004 Nope. It's another trombone part. 1.2143 0.04452 126 104 17 5
2005 Only five so so far; it’s going to be awhile before we get Beethoven’s Ninth. 1.2143 0.05141 112 95 10 7
2006 I think we did this one yesterday. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2007 'The Vanishing Florida Keys. What the hell's that supposed to mean?' 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
2008 Is it me or does this half note look like a delicious drumstick? 1.2143 0.04288 112 90 20 2
2009 No! This one is written for drums and bagpipes! 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
2010 Another request to add more cowbell 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2011 More darn letters. We need sheet music. 1.2143 0.04307 126 103 19 4
2012 They're all Pachelbel"s Cannon in D. 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
2013 I don't think that diminished 7th is ever going to resolve. 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
2014 The next request is for Home! Sweet Home! 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2015 Make mine mushroom and pepperoni. 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
2016 These are all too high for me - can you transpose? 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
2017 What rhymes with castaways? 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2018 You missed the chord change again on the last page. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
2019 It's the same old sad song. 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
2020 It says that you need to lighten up with your left hand. 1.2137 0.04056 131 106 22 3
2021 They all say they have the lyrics but need help with the melody. 1.2137 0.04056 131 106 22 3
2022 They still don't like the bridge. 1.2137 0.04348 117 95 19 3
2023 They wanna hear one called 'Free Bird.' 1.2137 0.04514 117 96 17 4
2024 Damn. Another String Quartet request. 1.2137 0.04514 117 96 17 4
2025 Another rejection of our Opus 1 for Coconut 1.2137 0.04980 117 99 11 7
2026 All these notes in bottles, but none are in the right key! 1.2137 0.04348 117 95 19 3
2027 The tuner is insisting upon cash payment in advance. 1.2136 0.05098 103 86 12 5
2028 I can't see the appropriate point at which fortunes shift from bad to good. 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
2029 Another copyright. Nothing in the Public Domain, yet. 1.2136 0.04286 103 82 20 1
2030 Dammit! This is all sheet music for a church organ! 1.2136 0.05098 103 86 12 5
2031 How do you suppose we're going to recycle all this? 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
2032 Enough with the 'Für Elise!' 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
2033 I can’t seem to hit the high Cs. 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2034 Please add the piano parts and send back in the enclosed bottles so I can complete the symphony. By the way,we miss you both. 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
2035 They stole our song! 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
2036 It's another message about our piano warranty expiring. 1.2135 0.05643 89 75 9 5
2037 Great. More from Handel's 'Water Music.' 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2038 This note requests you play "Islands in the Stream." 1.2131 0.04234 122 99 20 3
2039 Seriously, this is our last chance to extended our warranty. 1.2131 0.04391 122 100 18 4
2040 It's from Abba. I told you not to play SOS. 1.2130 0.04567 108 88 17 3
2041 If only it had a catchier title than”Thoughts in a flask” 1.2130 0.04373 108 87 19 2
2042 Play “Stairway To Heaven.” 1.2130 0.04931 108 90 13 5
2043 Another article about how my Ex is making millions with my music! 1.2130 0.04753 108 89 15 4
2044 Concerto, concerto, concerto. Nobody sends a sonata. 1.2130 0.04753 108 89 15 4
2045 You've already played this one four hundred and sixty seven times. 1.2130 0.04373 108 87 19 2
2046 Darn! These are all for a string quartet. 1.2130 0.04753 108 89 15 4
2047 They think you need to slow down, too. 1.2130 0.04567 108 88 17 3
2048 Turns out these are real SOS messages and NOT clever song requests from a Police fan." 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
2049 Looks like he never did finish that symphony 1.2128 0.05634 94 80 8 6
2050 It's from the neighbors. We never turned off the radio. 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
2051 ...while the lackluster performance of Help does almost no justice to the Beatles' original. 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
2052 More than a pocketful of rye. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
2053 It says we qualify for a $10,000 line of credit on a new visa card, but we have to act fast. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
2054 It’s just another song request. 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
2055 We finally got the sonata. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
2056 Just another request for ‘Piano man!’ 1.2126 0.04127 127 103 21 3
2057 Don’t worry babe, I’m sure Piano Man will wash up one of these days. 1.2126 0.04420 127 105 17 5
2058 No crescendo in sight. 1.2126 0.04127 127 103 21 3
2059 So anyway, here's wonderwall 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
2060 Aw, crap. Another with the words to 99 bottles of beer ... this is in German and in D Flat Minor... I think we've hit a wall. 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
2061 It’s the ‘Unfinished Symphony’, but I’m afraid it’s incomplete. 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
2062 No, it's not fundraising this time. They're repossessing the baby grand. 1.2121 0.05424 99 84 9 6
2063 Eureka! Found the next page! It begins, 'Six thousand and one bottles of beer on the wall, six thousand and one bottles of beer'. 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
2064 Another vote for "Don't Stop Believin'" 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2065 Still no luck. This one's a clarinet concerto. 1.2121 0.04028 132 107 22 3
2066 That's not how the tenor clef works. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2067 We got RickRolled. 1.2121 0.04438 132 110 16 6
2068 It’s from Apple. They no longer support iPiano 1.0. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
2069 It's another copyright violation letter from Sting's attorney. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2070 Dammit! The instructions don't say whether the top should be kept open! 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2071 It's another request for Bennie and the Jets. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2072 It's the final notice from the bank; they're coming for the piano. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2073 Oh, this one has promise. It's from some group named 'The Police'. 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
2074 He wants us to put our recording back in the bottle. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2075 The band wants us to learn all these new tunes while we wait. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
2076 It gets worse. These were all written in the key of "sea. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
2077 This one is asking you to play, "The tide is high". 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2078 My God,it's all Barry Manilow. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2079 Damn! This is another copyrighted song! 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2080 This note says to be rescued we need to find eighty-eight keys. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2081 Another smooth jazz one. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2082 Only Bach and Beethoven. No Chopin so far. 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
2083 I'm sorry, this one in copyrighted too. 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2084 It's from Billy Joel and it says to 'step up the tempo or we will never get off the island,' Beatrice" 1.2114 0.04358 123 101 18 4
2085 This one says could we please not play after 10. 1.2114 0.04358 123 101 18 4
2086 Honey, you missed the key signature in bar 5, and two notes in the first line. These bottles deserve better from you. 1.2114 0.04509 123 102 16 5
2087 Play piano man again... 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2088 another request list 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2089 This is the fifth brochure they misspell your name 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
2090 We're still in the Song-of-the-Month Club. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2091 Some guy named Elton said he needs it for his 4th farewell tour. 1.2110 0.05061 109 92 11 6
2092 Honey, some more great lyrics from a guy named Sting 1.2110 0.04137 109 87 21 1
2093 These entries just aren't capturing the desolation, ennui, and hopelessness I'm looking for! 1.2110 0.04337 109 88 19 2
2094 We need an oboe! 1.2110 0.04137 109 87 21 1
2095 I really wish they would stop sending us Beach Boys sheet music. 1.2110 0.04137 109 87 21 1
2096 We need a pick-me-up, play it like it's ragtime. 1.2109 0.04342 147 124 15 8
2097 This one goes out to Gilligan and the gang on the S.S. Minnow! 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2098 This one calls himself a 'real-estate novelist.' Maybe you can use that. 1.2105 0.04401 114 93 18 3
2099 95 Bottles of Beer ... 1.2105 0.04401 114 93 18 3
2100 The bassist wants out of the band. 1.2105 0.04574 114 94 16 4
2101 Another SOS - this poor Sting fella must really need a hug. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2102 Yet another John Cage's 4'33'' music score! 1.2105 0.04574 114 94 16 4
2103 No luck again: I don't like Bach 1.2105 0.04141 133 109 20 4
2104 This remote collaboration with Lin-Manuel Miranda is not working as well as we hoped. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2105 Uh…yea…I’m listening. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2106 It's a message from The Police! They found our Message In A Bottle! ...And, they are suing us for copyright infringement 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2107 It’s another request for “Hotel California” 1.2105 0.04574 114 94 16 4
2108 It’s waterlogged, so you’ll have to improvise. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2109 Finally! Instead of a unless message in a bottle, we have a musical score! 1.2101 0.03910 138 112 23 3
2110 I don’t believe this! These are all the same tune! 1.2101 0.04282 119 97 19 3
2111 Forty nine bottles of beer on the wall. 1.2101 0.04755 119 100 13 6
2112 Why do we keep getting copies of the score to "South Pacific"? 1.2101 0.03935 119 95 23 1
2113 It's another offer to rescue us if you stop playing "We Don't Talk About Bruno." 1.2101 0.04603 119 99 15 5
2114 The next-door neighbors submitted a noise complaint. 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
2115 It's an invitation to appear on 'Desert Island Discs'. 1.2100 0.04333 100 80 19 1
2116 By Golly! "Never gonna give you up....never gonna let you down..." 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
2117 It's a request for "New York, New York." 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2118 We've been trying to contact you about your car's extended warranty... 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
2119 How can this be- it calls for two pianos! 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
2120 It’s for prepared piano, fortunately with bottles. 1.2100 0.04333 100 80 19 1
2121 It's the same annoying ad for a ukulele. 1.2100 0.05374 100 85 9 6
2122 Lots of Billy Joel and Elton John but still no South Pacific! 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
2123 At last, an accompaniment is on the way 1.2095 0.04214 105 84 20 1
2124 Maybe we DO need to renew our vehicle’s warranty 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2125 Darn! I’m trying to find a score that’s compatible with island living 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
2126 Another complaint about noise from the neighbors 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2127 Another message in a bottle containing sheet music for the Gilligan's Island theme song? 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
2128 Go deeper. We don't buy the whole 'stranded on an island' bit." 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2129 At last, we're in luck this time. It's from the classifieds. It says "piano tuning, will travel." 1.2095 0.05188 105 89 10 6
2130 Dagnabit! It's supposed to be in A Minor, not A# Minor. Got to ship the whole thing back for the corrections. 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
2131 I see Key and Largo but there's no map. 1.2095 0.05008 105 88 12 5
2132 Concerto for six hands. 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2133 Oh, no! It’s Für Elise again! 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2134 A year has passed since Sting wrote this note 1.2095 0.04207 148 124 17 7
2135 This is perfect, "Some enchanted evening, you may meet a stranger.." 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2136 Sting is really getting on my nerves. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2137 Victor from a couple of islands over says, "Hey great set last night. Tonight we are trying to work up the courage to swim to civilization. How about something encouraging like excerpts from Kiss Me Kate?" 1.2091 0.04302 110 89 19 2
2138 This one's better - a duet for piano and coconut. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2139 The color chart is missing. 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
2140 I know you're upset about our situation, but I still feel that the "Oh God, Please Help Us!" chorus should be in A Major. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2141 I keep telling her, we’ll be back when we find the keys! 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2142 Yes dammit, "Freebird" again! 1.2090 0.04113 134 110 20 4
2143 If we wanted to be ignored, we could have stayed home. 1.2090 0.04113 134 110 20 4
2144 When I picked Mozart on Desert Island Discs, I didn't think i'd have to play it myself! 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
2145 Nothing to play us off! 1.2088 0.04284 91 72 19 0
2146 Every bottle has the same message -- "Row, row, row your boat." 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2147 It's just another verse of "Baby Shark." 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
2148 I don't get it. Every request we get is for "Message in a Bottle". 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
2149 Again? These are definitely not what I meant when I wished for more notes in a bottle! 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
2150 Overage data must be used in the billing period it is provided and does not roll over. 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2151 Let It Be!? Aw c’mon! 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
2152 Expect 94 more; 95 if they include "No more bottles..." 1.2088 0.05303 91 76 11 4
2153 It's a request for Freebird 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2154 I'm sick of writing about wine, women, and waves. 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2155 The critic says we might work better as a trio 1.2088 0.05303 91 76 11 4
2156 Who's Mandy? 1.2087 0.04366 115 94 18 3
2157 At least it’s not the ‘Jaws’ theme song. 1.2087 0.04366 115 94 18 3
2158 Socially Distanced Game of Name That Tune 1.2083 0.04082 120 97 21 2
2159 Bad news: more showtunes. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2160 Can you finish this song before the sand runs out ? 1.2083 0.03906 120 96 23 1
2161 This one's signed "Wastin' Away Again in Margaritaville." Guy wants to know if we've found his shaker of salt. 1.2083 0.04568 120 100 15 5
2162 Sorry, Honey, but I can't survive on jazz standards. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2163 It's for a string quartet. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2164 Crap - this one is for bassoon! 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2165 This one's 'Muskrat Love.' 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2166 But, do you think they'll get that the island is also a metaphor for my anxiety? 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2167 The notes are all wrong….. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2168 No,no,no!! This is exactly the same as the last phrasing. Why can't the person sending these provide a decent finale. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2169 This one wants to know if you’re taking requests. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2170 This is chopsticks too! 1.2083 0.03906 120 96 23 1
2171 Just another extended warranty offer. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2172 They're all noise complaints from the island next door. 1.2083 0.04082 120 97 21 2
2173 Someone wants to buy it" 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2174 ANOTHER Tchaikovsky piano concerto? 1.2080 0.04142 125 102 20 3
2175 Right, another request for 'Message in a Bottle'. 1.2079 0.04295 101 81 19 1
2176 I’m completely stranded on this key. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2177 One more asking if Ballade pour Adeline is the only one you know 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2178 It’s another request, could we hire a piano tuner 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2179 Another ‘It’s aSmall World’… 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2180 Every message is the lyrics to 99 bottles of beer… 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2181 Someone suggested, Bridge Over Troubled Waters. 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2182 Take a letter, Maria. Address it to my wife... 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2183 Will this help? It's more sheet music. 1.2075 0.04589 106 87 16 3
2184 Some sicko is flooding us with violin concertos. 1.2075 0.04780 106 88 14 4
2185 Darling…I’m afraid we may need to ration two Lieder per day. 1.2075 0.04780 106 88 14 4
2186 Steinway is letting us know the warranty is up this month. 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2187 Oh, no! Not another Barry Manilow! 1.2075 0.04589 106 87 16 3
2188 He keeps sending me his demos but I don't know how to tell him they're not very good. 1.2072 0.04455 111 91 17 3
2189 Another "we don't need another ocean song" rejection. 1.2072 0.04809 111 93 13 5
2190 Another bottle requesting Beethoven's Fifth. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
2191 We must be missing a piece or two, I'm sure I ordered the canoe. 1.2069 0.04502 116 96 16 4
2192 Is this one incoming or outgoing? 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
2193 It's Baby Shark - again. 1.2069 0.04823 116 98 12 6
2194 Requests for ‘Baby Shark’ are finally ebbing. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
2195 Bruckner...they're all Bruckner. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
2196 I'm sending it back. The last note should be B flat not C sharp! 1.2069 0.04502 116 96 16 4
2197 It’s from Eduardo on Easter Island. He wants to know if you can play Claire de Lune. 1.2069 0.04332 116 95 18 3
2198 I thought you said you canceled the subscription. 1.2069 0.04332 116 95 18 3
2199 Another request for that song by The Police. 1.2069 0.04368 87 69 18 0
2200 And our next song request comes from Henri on Bora Bora... 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2201 They all say, "Keep it down!" in eight languages. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2202 The club still isn't open. Might as well stay here and work on our sets. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2203 Nothing but Barry Manilow tunes. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2204 That's enough, thanks. We'll let you know. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2205 ANOTHER quartet piece. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2206 Good God….the only sheet music we have is for ‘Muskrat Love’! 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2207 Now here comes the sea lion’s solo. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2208 This is so tiring, we have to find another way to take requests from our audience. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2209 Do you know that we are going to be evicted in 3 days?” “You hum it and I’ll play it! 1.2063 0.04410 126 105 16 5
2210 I think this one deserves to be part of the three finalists. Now, how can we get the readers to vote for their favorite score ? 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
2211 Accolades, just what we need! 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
2212 Okay, now you be Christine, and I'll do the Phantom. 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
2213 Still no Coda. 1.2062 0.04381 97 78 18 1
2214 It's from Phillip Glass. Babe, if you can play his stuff, no critic would dare to say you're all washed up! 1.2062 0.04381 97 78 18 1
2215 This one is just cruel, it requests Le Mer by Claude Debussy. 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
2216 It's those sailors that passed us yesterday. They said that third note should have been an E flat. 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
2217 Another request for “Please Stop.” Too bad neither of us know that one. Just play, “Crazy Frog” unplugged again. 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
2218 No harm in trying 'Bridge Over Troubled Waters,' Right? 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
2219 Perfect, Sonata for one note! 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2220 We'll never make it in this small town 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
2221 We're the only ones who have a piano. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2222 Still no genie in a bottle 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2223 It's another offer to extend the warranty on our car. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
2224 It's time to sing like nobody's listening 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2225 I can't believe this is what they sent back after getting our SOS messages. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
2226 Nobody will read this. It's got six sharps. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
2227 Rejection, rejection, rejection. You told me this island would help my creativity. 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
2228 I never imagined we’d get so many of the same song requests! 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2229 I thought we were going to take a minor vacation, not a vacation in A-minor. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
2230 Here's an oldie but a goodie, "My Piano Needs Tuning and I'm Already Sick of My Husband's Singing." 1.2056 0.04922 107 90 12 5
2231 Oh great! Another symphony for piano and coconuts 1.2056 0.04739 107 89 14 4
2232 Keep practicing. The longer we're gone the better the reviews. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2233 There's just nothing in the key of G! 1.2056 0.04739 107 89 14 4
2234 Another request for "Message in a Bottle." 1.2056 0.04351 107 87 18 2
2235 It's Another Request for Ode to Joy 1.2056 0.04351 107 87 18 2
2236 Alright, what do you think of this? “I'd like to know where, you got the notion To rock the boat (don't rock the boat, baby) Rock the boat (don't tip the boat over)” 1.2056 0.04351 107 87 18 2
2237 Somewhere around step 14 we should have used pegs instead of screws to turn the piano into a boat. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2238 English instructions are online ONLY. 1.2056 0.04739 107 89 14 4
2239 Every message has ragtime music. What are they trying to imply? 1.2054 0.04419 112 92 17 3
2240 Bills Bills Bills That's all we seem to get! 1.2054 0.04233 112 91 19 2
2241 Jimmy Buffet keeps promising to send cheeseburgers but he hasn’t figured out how to get them into the dang bottles! 1.2054 0.04597 112 93 15 4
2242 Drummer seeks new band. Will travel." 1.2054 0.05095 112 96 9 7
2243 This one is in the key of C# major. Should I throw it back? 1.2054 0.04935 112 95 11 6
2244 Finally a tune you can play 1.2054 0.04039 112 90 21 1
2245 I think we got the instructions wrong on where we put the black keys and where we put the white ones. 1.2054 0.04233 112 91 19 2
2246 It says, "Thanks for the tune—George Gershwin." 1.2054 0.04769 112 94 13 5
2247 One more reprise of "Islands in the Stream" and the coconut bombs will be unleashed. 1.2054 0.04769 112 94 13 5
2248 You missed a chord. 1.2051 0.04298 117 96 18 3
2249 Lady Gaga passed on this song too. 1.2049 0.04187 122 100 19 3
2250 No one seems to like the verse 1.2049 0.03850 122 98 23 1
2251 Well what do you know, this one is from Sting! 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
2252 Every one of these is What a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts! 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2253 My mistake. It's played arpeggio, not archipelago. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2254 I don't know, the more I read the more I think we're ok just where we're at. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2255 Amazon just keeps saying return it at Whole Foods! 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2256 Another message in a bottle from Sting! 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
2257 Nothing but show tunes. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
2258 It says here the seafood buffet is fresh-catch. 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
2259 I told them the piano was to be delivered to LONG ISLAND! 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2260 This is a really cruel scherzo. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2261 Try Message In a Bottle or S.O.S. by ABBA one more time. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2262 Holy piano! Tell me we're not in some self-referential New Yorker cartoon! 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2263 That’s the tenth request for Free Bird. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2264 They all want you to stop playing "fur Elyse." 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2265 Looks like we'll have to change keys. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2266 The good news is that we won the Grammy for Best Song Written while Stranded on a Deserted Island. 1.2043 0.04204 93 74 19 0
2267 Here's that Sound of Music score we asked for 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2268 The tuner can't come till next week!!! 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2269 It still isn’t the song I want to be stranded with 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2270 Now they're requesting"Tie a Yellow Ribbon." We're being trolled. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2271 Those damn upstream castaways have another request: 'I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2272 "It's chopsticks again! This guy has a sick sense of humor." 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2273 another request for 'Yellow Submarine' Bob Greene bob@contourventures.com 917.696.682 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2274 Post-Minimalist sheet music. Just what we need to keep hope alive. 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2275 This is all rag time. We have the wrong type of piano. 1.2039 0.04221 103 83 19 1
2276 Just what we need. It’s the score from “Lost.” 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2277 We're still missing the middle two pages 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2278 It's copywritten. We owe him $5. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2279 I can't believe it ! It's another Message in at bottle by Sting. 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2280 It’s another fortune that says, ‘Your ship will come in.’ That’s just mean. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2281 They say they cannot hear us and we should play louder 1.2037 0.04110 108 87 20 1
2282 It’s “come sail away,” by stix 1.2037 0.04511 108 89 16 3
2283 No wonder it was sounding terrible--this is Shakespeare, not Bach. 1.2037 0.04511 108 89 16 3
2284 81 bottles of beer on the wall. . . 1.2037 0.04315 108 88 18 2
2285 If you like Pina Coladas. Is taken. Try one bourbon, one scotch, one beer 1.2037 0.04880 108 91 12 5
2286 Another Bach. doesn't anybody still like Billy Joel? 1.2037 0.04511 108 89 16 3
2287 ‘Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson?’ 1.2037 0.04511 108 89 16 3
2288 Yesterday.....all my troubles seemed... 1.2035 0.04199 113 92 19 2
2289 It's more EDM. 1.2035 0.03805 113 90 23 0
2290 Here's an upright for only $500. 1.2035 0.04560 113 94 15 4
2291 When we started this musical this island had an audience. Theaters. Actors. 1.2035 0.04894 113 96 11 6
2292 Please stop playing The Piña Colada Song. 1.2035 0.04560 113 94 15 4
2293 I never could read music. 1.2034 0.04432 118 98 16 4
2294 Dang, it's a cappella again! 1.2034 0.04092 118 96 20 2
2295 I don't see where the orchestra comes in? 1.2034 0.04265 118 97 18 3
2296 Let's take it to the bridge... 1.2034 0.04593 118 99 14 5
2297 This one says: Whoever told you to sing like no one’s listening gave you horrible advice. Voices carry over water, please stop! 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
2298 Another Handel piece. Has the world gone crazy? 1.2033 0.04612 123 104 13 6
2299 It's "Come Sail Away" by Styx again. 1.2033 0.04156 123 101 19 3
2300 Just a repeat of the last four notes! 1.2033 0.04313 123 102 17 4
2301 Castaways,we are castaways… 1.2033 0.04465 123 103 15 5
2302 Your check is in the mail. 1.2030 0.04100 133 110 19 4
2303 But how do we get a trombone for the trombone solo? 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2304 It's a request that you play Handel's Water Music. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2305 This bit always gets me. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2306 Steve wants to know if we can make it to his housewarming party. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
2307 Oh no, The New Yorker critic says all our songs sound like the ocean. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2308 It says, "Now play 'Tucka tucka jump jump' as if you really meant it." 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
2309 Really? Another request for “Chopsticks”? 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
2310 Sorry, it's already been done. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
2311 This is a concerto for an organ; not a piano! 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
2312 Honey, play this tune - it's got to work this time: "Leaving on Jet Plane" by John Denver 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2313 Another one with the Jaws theme song. 1.2021 0.04430 94 76 17 1
2314 See here's your problem, you were playing high seas. 1.2021 0.04430 94 76 17 1
2315 OK - this entry is from a John Williams 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2316 It says, 'Once more...with feeling' 1.2021 0.05365 94 80 9 5
2317 It’s been so difficult to get my music out there these days 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2318 Another copy of Debussy's La Mer. 1.2021 0.05574 94 81 7 6
2319 It's "Rescue Me". 1.2021 0.04164 94 75 19 0
2320 Rats, this is the third person who sent us "Für Elise"! 1.2021 0.04430 94 76 17 1
2321 You chose to bring Bach to a deserted island? 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2322 Well, we're just out of luck. All the instructions are written in Korean. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
2323 All requests for the theme song from Titanic 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2324 Everybody is a critic! 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2325 It's from The Police: 'Message in a Bottle. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2326 I guess we shouldn't take the "food of love" thing literally. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2327 That's the fifth one from Sting this week! 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2328 Um, I need a little more context… 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2329 It’s says forget it. The sea shanty fad is over 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
2330 Catchy melody and I love the repeated line about a 'Three hour tour." Let's bottle it and send it to a producer. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2331 It's another "note in the bottle" letter from some kids doing a school project. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2332 One last drinking song or nah? 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2333 So this guy, Homer, sends a more seductive piece I play and you sing. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2334 It's scored for bagpipes! 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2335 It’s another request for Tutti Fruity. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2336 Hey! We're Waaay Ahead in the Vote for America's Got Talent! 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2337 Wait. Before you begin, it's another page of the user agreement. 1.2019 0.04998 104 88 11 5
2338 Again and again: > Gathering Up Th Shells From The Seashore < 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
2339 Here's the next request which drifted here all the way from the coast of Australia. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2340 ...and when the water rises, use the top as a sail. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2341 This guy wants to know how we spend our free time. 1.2018 0.04474 109 90 16 3
2342 Oh no, which goes first, the sonata or the rondo? 1.2018 0.04474 109 90 16 3
2343 Your car warranty is about to expire. 1.2018 0.04076 109 88 20 1
2344 Damn, it’s another copy of ‘Achy Breaky Heart.’” 1.2018 0.04076 109 88 20 1
2345 It’s another request for “Do you know the way to San Jose” 1.2018 0.04280 109 89 18 2
2346 Linda began to realize her desert island wish list was a bit impulsive. 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
2347 Jeez... Island Girl by Elton John yet again. 1.2018 0.04280 109 89 18 2
2348 Even worse! This one is for four pianos! 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
2349 Well, love will keep us together… 1.2018 0.04474 109 90 16 3
2350 No, this one wasn’t from Sting, either 1.2018 0.04474 109 90 16 3
2351 No one likes my music 1.2018 0.04839 109 92 12 5
2352 The fifth fifth of Beethoven! 1.2018 0.04660 109 91 14 4
2353 Please not that same Abba song again Frank Buckley Andover MA 1.2018 0.04349 114 94 17 3
2354 Dang! It's another Nickleback song in a bottle. 1.2018 0.04524 114 95 15 4
2355 It's ANOTHER Jimmy Buffet song! 1.2018 0.04166 114 93 19 2
2356 The message HAD to be in C major 1.2018 0.04349 114 94 17 3
2357 Neighbors are complaining about the noise again. 1.2018 0.04524 114 95 15 4
2358 John Cage 1.2018 0.04692 114 96 13 5
2359 'Waves so rough, we lost our crew, Now we're stranded & totally screwed! Wonder if I can trade you in for a canoe?' 1.2018 0.04855 114 97 11 6
2360 More sheet music for Chopsticks. 1.2018 0.04524 114 95 15 4
2361 Here's the next verse, "99 bottles of beer on the wall..." 1.2017 0.04398 119 99 16 4
2362 Useless...looks like it was written by an eight-year-old. 1.2017 0.04398 119 99 16 4
2363 I asked for help and they sent Beatles music We don 1.2017 0.04711 119 101 12 6
2364 Another request to play Freebird. 1.2017 0.04233 119 98 18 3
2365 This one looks interesting. It's by someone named Rick Astley. 1.2016 0.04026 129 106 20 3
2366 I can't read music, but I think it's from 'South Pacific' 1.2000 0.04621 110 92 14 4
2367 This one is just a bunch of parallel lines too. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
2368 I want something contemporary that won't make waves. 1.2000 0.04798 110 93 12 5
2369 It says that next you morph into jazz. 1.2000 0.04766 105 88 13 4
2370 Joni's Mitchell's "Help Me" again!! 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2371 It says here you can't tuna fish. 1.2000 0.04544 125 106 13 6
2372 '"Looks like we're stuck playing 80's new wave." 1.2000 0.04264 100 81 18 1
2373 Oh please, Sondheim writes back to everybody” 1.2000 0.04314 115 95 17 3
2374 Damn. Yet another rejection from Sting. 1.2000 0.04096 125 103 19 3
2375 The staff I really want is the one that parted the Red Sea. 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
2376 It's the finale. And it has a brilliant climax. 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
2377 These are all just notes, not music ! 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2378 They say they want something more commercial. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
2379 And that was #1 on your desert island playlist 1.2000 0.04766 105 88 13 4
2380 This guy wants wants you to play Misty for him.” 1.2000 0.04201 120 99 18 3
2381 Finally, a request other than Piano Man. Honey, do you know Taylor Swift's version of Message in a Bottle? 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2382 It's in the wrong key! 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2383 I’m having a problem with “we are the world” 1.2000 0.04621 110 92 14 4
2384 It’s sheet music alright, but there are no duets. 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
2385 This one's from your mother. She wants to know what you did with all the money she gave you for piano lessons. 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
2386 What I wouldn't give to do '100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall' one more time. 1.2000 0.04043 110 89 20 1
2387 Woah, this is a complicated request; luckily we have time to practice it. 1.2000 0.04364 105 86 17 2
2388 I'm pretty sure the Beatles recorded something a lot like this. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2389 It’s Desert Island Songbook Volume5. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2390 Anything Interesting? No, Just Another Noise Complaint! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2391 I don't think the Beach Boys started this way 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2392 It says, “Can you play ‘Message in a Bottle’ just one more time”? 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2393 It's just another copy of Schubert's Unfinished Symphony. 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2394 We have to stop taking requests. 1.2000 0.04244 110 90 18 2
2395 This one's called, "Ode to a desert isle." 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2396 It's another offer to tune the piano 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
2397 It says "No man's an island." Can you play it? 1.2000 0.04766 105 88 13 4
2398 It says they are going to repossess the piano for missing every payment! 1.2000 0.04364 105 86 17 2
2399 Hmmm… looks like the guy who wrote this message thought the Florida keys were something else too. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2400 It's another request to 'Play it again, Sam.' 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2401 Another one that says we can extend our warranty for a low monthly payment. 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
2402 Keep it down! Too much boozing and loud music . 1.2000 0.04544 125 106 13 6
2403 It's another Jimmy Buffett 'beaches are the best' song. 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2404 They are all requests for you to play Freebird. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2405 It’s a request for “Clair de Lune” with a link to where we can download the score online. 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2406 The Lost Symphony? Very funny. 1.2000 0.04314 115 95 17 3
2407 It says they'll repossess the piano if we don't make the last payment. 1.2000 0.04437 110 91 16 3
2408 And the hits just keep on coming 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2409 This one is a request for "Melancholy Baby". 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2410 They're all the same song written by Sting. 1.2000 0.03998 130 107 20 3
2411 Maybe people have had enough of silly love songs... 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2412 We'll need more contemporary songs if they expect us to make a comeback 1.2000 0.04924 100 84 12 4
2413 I am not going to sing "I Feel Pretty" 1.2000 0.04244 110 90 18 2
2414 Sorry sweetie. Another help wanted ad looking for a drummer. 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2415 For the last time, I hate "Island in the Sun" ! 1.2000 0.04654 115 97 13 5
2416 They're DIY notes on the piano as a flotation device." 1.2000 0.04364 105 86 17 2
2417 Another bloody message from Sting 1.2000 0.04621 110 92 14 4
2418 This says: ‘Final warning—Stop playing Ninety Nine Bottles of Beer or we’ll move you even farther away.’ 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
2419 It's always the SAME SONG––'Help!' 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2420 It’s another desert-island-disc list. 1.2000 0.04314 115 95 17 3
2421 It's a request to play "Three Hour Tour". 1.1985 0.03737 136 111 23 2
2422 Still no Elton John! 1.1985 0.04523 131 112 12 7
2423 It's another Caribbean tune addressed to Jimmy Buffet. 1.1985 0.03970 131 108 20 3
2424 Nobody's coming because this is garbage, Karen... 1.1983 0.04101 116 95 19 2
2425 Pete, I kept telling you not to leave John, Paul and George!!! 1.1983 0.04452 116 97 15 4
2426 Oh god not another Wagner 1.1983 0.04777 116 99 11 6
2427 Can you play "Island in the Sun"? 1.1983 0.04777 116 99 11 6
2428 Should I go with The Police or Taylor Swift? 1.1983 0.04280 116 96 17 3
2429 Here we go, a 'polonaise.' I'm afraid that's as close as we're gonna get to 'polynésien.' 1.1983 0.04452 116 97 15 4
2430 We're still missing the first movement! 1.1983 0.04101 116 95 19 2
2431 Finale! 1.1982 0.04210 111 91 18 2
2432 I'm just not in the mood for "Row, row, row your Boat" again. 1.1982 0.04927 111 95 10 6
2433 It's a lot harder to get noticed as a musician these days." 1.1982 0.04582 111 93 14 4
2434 It’s a cross between “By the sea” and “Bye bye baby” 1.1982 0.04582 111 93 14 4
2435 They all say something along the lines of "Tune that dang piano." 1.1982 0.04758 111 94 12 5
2436 Crap. "La Mer" AGAIN. 1.1982 0.04400 111 92 16 3
2437 It's another 'Best Tupperware Party Icebreakers'. 1.1981 0.04530 106 88 15 3
2438 Dang. This is that unfinished symphony thing... 1.1981 0.04724 106 89 13 4
2439 It's from Liberace. Your playing has managed to raise the dead to complain. 1.1981 0.04724 106 89 13 4
2440 It says " Sending out an SOS" 1.1981 0.04530 106 88 15 3
2441 With seagull delivery you get ' Guaranteed dry' 1.1981 0.04911 106 90 11 5
2442 Our librettist wants us to come up with a choppier tempo. 1.1981 0.05264 106 92 7 7
2443 This one is from the guy on the next island,it says : "Will you just stop with the theme from Titanic". 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
2444 Same message again, “looking for guitarist and drummer to join our band” Sorry, no mention of a pianist. 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
2445 Nope, this one's not a break-up song either. 1.1980 0.04879 101 85 12 4
2446 Its the same request every time! 1.1980 0.03985 101 81 20 0
2447 This one says "play message in a bottle, please." 1.1980 0.04879 101 85 12 4
2448 where's the map home? 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
2449 More sheet music from Fyre Festival - I wonder what happened? 1.1980 0.04879 101 85 12 4
2450 They want to know if you can play the theme to Gilligan's Island. 1.1980 0.04226 101 82 18 1
2451 I thought we were practicing for the tiny desk contest, not a tiny island contest. 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
2452 One more Beach Boys song and I'm turning that thing into a raft. 1.1980 0.04879 101 85 12 4
2453 Hey Babe, I think the wine, women and song thing has pretty much run its course for me. 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
2454 It's just another extended warranty offer.... 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
2455 Too depressing. Try to give the piece a more happy-go-lucky vibe. 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
2456 No sharps or flats. It’s in the key of sea ! 1.1979 0.05048 96 81 11 4
2457 It's from one island over. They want us to keep the noise down. 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
2458 Sorry, I can't find the lyrics to Paradise Lost. 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
2459 Not again! Just the chorus. 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
2460 It's just those idiots from the next island again. It says, "Stairway to Heaven." 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
2461 Did you see this about those poor people at Fyre fest? 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
2462 It’s Sting again…. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
2463 The neighbors want to know if we know any other songs by The Police besides "Message in a Bottle" . 1.1978 0.05234 91 77 10 4
2464 It's the Hallelujah Chorus. We need a trumpet player. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
2465 Captain & Tennille never left instructions on how to get off the island. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
2466 We've already sung this one!! 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
2467 Water Music again? 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
2468 It's just more chopsticks. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
2469 We have a request for Yellow Submarine by the Beatles. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
2470 I'm Baroque. Enjoy my water music. Fund me with a contribution. George Frideric Handel 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
2471 These are beginning to sound like a broken record... 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
2472 They're all for the violin! 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
2473 It's the sheet music to Castaways. 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
2474 The HOA fined us three coconuts for last night’s jamboree in C major. 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
2475 Once more, Message in a Bottle. 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
2476 Half of them are just Islands in the Stream by Kenny Rogers 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
2477 This one is called WATER MUSIC but I can’t seem to get a handle on it 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
2478 Funny, we never heard back from Sting about our song idea. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
2479 This part calls for a duet 1.1969 0.04037 127 105 19 3
2480 It is from Radio City Music Hall; they want us to appear with The Rocketes and play -"Burning Bridges" 1.1969 0.04037 127 105 19 3
2481 It’s another request that you stop playing ‘We Don’t Talk About Bruno’ 1.1967 0.04138 122 101 18 3
2482 This one is written in “sea-sharp” 1.1967 0.04454 122 103 14 5
2483 If only our secret benefactor would send a ship instead of the draft scores to his groundbreaking new opera. 1.1966 0.04070 117 96 19 2
2484 This Phil Spector guy is a genius. I hope we get to meet him. 1.1964 0.04176 112 92 18 2
2485 They said we didn’t get the record label… 1.1964 0.04364 112 93 16 3
2486 Another bottle from Andrew Lloyd Webber... 1.1964 0.04364 112 93 16 3
2487 Bali Hai from South Pacific is my favorite 1.1964 0.03771 112 90 22 0
2488 If you like pina coladas... 1.1964 0.03979 112 91 20 1
2489 How about this for my new song,"If I could save time in a bottle"...... 1.1964 0.03979 112 91 20 1
2490 Great news! The Police sent us a song. 1.1964 0.04545 112 94 14 4
2491 This was supposed to be a boat. 1.1963 0.04290 107 88 17 2
2492 Did I write this song before or after I drank the rum? 1.1963 0.04683 107 90 13 4
2493 It says these notes are available only with a paid user account and an internet connection. 1.1963 0.04080 107 87 19 1
2494 Bösendorfer doesn't service this island. 1.1963 0.04491 107 89 15 3
2495 Hang on, No. The fine print didn't say "grand pino" at all. 1.1963 0.04683 107 90 13 4
2496 It says we have unpaid taxes 1.1963 0.04683 107 90 13 4
2497 This is the viola section. 1.1963 0.04491 107 89 15 3
2498 I wish I was ship wrecked with Sondheim, these are crap! 1.1963 0.04491 107 89 15 3
2499 This rondo’s got a C section! 1.1963 0.04868 107 91 11 5
2500 No, no no! All Kenny G! 1.1963 0.04080 107 87 19 1
2501 It's just more music by The Police. 1.1963 0.04290 107 88 17 2
2502 Another rave review. 1.1963 0.04683 107 90 13 4
2503 Nope. Too many high C’s 1.1963 0.05046 107 92 9 6
2504 It's a bill from Steinway and Sons. Guess the movers gave them our new address. 1.1963 0.04491 107 89 15 3
2505 Darn. 'Chopsticks' again. 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
2506 Any chance you can play something else? 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2507 Treble in a bottle again. 1.1961 0.05031 102 87 10 5
2508 I guess I 'm Still not good enough for 'America's Got Talent'. 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
2509 It's the final movement of Beethoven's Fifth. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2510 More lyrics from The Captain and Tenille 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2511 I hope the rest gets here soon! 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2512 This one asks if you can play “Far, far away.” 1.1961 0.03951 102 82 20 0
2513 Please refrain from playing after 10:00 P.M. 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2514 Do you take requests? 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
2515 It says return to sender. Address not valid, 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2516 I'm sure these symbols are the key to getting off the island. 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
2517 Not a single piano solo in the bunch! Why'd they force us on this working vacation in the first place. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2518 Damn! It's another request for Baby Shark. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2519 Nope- the horn part. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2520 How many more bottles of beer on the wall? 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2521 Yikes, Honey! Yet another request to play Freebird. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
2522 THIS is the song that never ends. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
2523 Jim, from the neighboring island, requests ‘Surfin’ USA’ 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
2524 Answer: You can tune a piano, but you can't "tuna" fish. 1.1957 0.04437 92 75 16 1
2525 No word about rescue, but they'd like you to expand your repertoire 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
2526 It’s from Taylor Swift. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
2527 It may be time to tune your piano! 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
2528 Here's another song request, "Sea Breezes" 1.1957 0.04437 92 75 16 1
2529 It's from Sting " 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
2530 Is this stupid or are we on an island? Also,where are the cartoonists? 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
2531 Oh ******! It has an oboe part. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2532 And so it ends on the high C’s. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2533 Finally, the score for "South Pacific"! 1.1953 0.04159 128 107 17 4
2534 We still can’t leave. Spotify hasn’t met our demands. 1.1951 0.04267 123 103 16 4
2535 You and me against the world.,, 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
2536 It says that our car warranty is up for renewal... 1.1949 0.04545 118 100 13 5
2537 We got the gig playing at Elon Musk's next launch 1.1949 0.04383 118 99 15 4
2538 We only need five more bottles. 1.1949 0.04383 118 99 15 4
2539 Mozart had his troubled periods, too, Honey. 1.1949 0.04039 118 97 19 2
2540 This has been an incredible bender on this peninsula but I’m going home to take a shower. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
2541 I can't sing this. It's not my key. 1.1947 0.04142 113 93 18 2
2542 It says we'll only be rescued if you agree to play "Feelings". 1.1947 0.04508 113 95 14 4
2543 His songs are actually getting worse. 1.1947 0.04508 113 95 14 4
2544 Harmony isn’t Right again! 1.1944 0.03826 108 87 21 0
2545 Oh, shoot, this could take awhile. According to this, the next verse is "...94 bottles of beer on the wall..." 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
2546 Yet another request for 'Wasting Away Again in Margaritaville.' 1.1944 0.04453 108 90 15 3
2547 How many bottles will it take for you to get the message: Enough Mozart, give us some Tchaikovsky! 1.1944 0.04453 108 90 15 3
2548 They all say “Stop playing!” 1.1944 0.04046 108 88 19 1
2549 Sigh. Another request for ‘Piano Man’ 1.1944 0.04254 108 89 17 2
2550 Robinson Caruso has no talent…Send him another rejection. 1.1944 0.04643 108 91 13 4
2551 Does our piano have an extended warranty? 1.1944 0.04453 108 90 15 3
2552 Can't you play anything but three blind mice 1.1944 0.04826 108 92 11 5
2553 They must have the wrong address, these are all charts for strings. 1.1944 0.04254 108 89 17 2
2554 Next time we need to insist on having wifi. 1.1944 0.04643 108 91 13 4
2555 Try 'Take the A Train." 1.1942 0.04376 103 85 16 2
2556 I'd rather tuna fish than tune this piano. 1.1942 0.04791 103 87 12 4
2557 It worked for Hemingway! 1.1942 0.04986 103 88 10 5
2558 They're all from Sting. 1.1942 0.04588 103 86 14 3
2559 They all have the same song. 1.1942 0.04791 103 87 12 4
2560 All these bottles and we STILL don't have the sheet music for "Feelings". 1.1942 0.04376 103 85 16 2
2561 It says they’re not gonna rescue us if you keep on mangling ‘Island Girl.’ 1.1942 0.03917 103 83 20 0
2562 It says for me to add more cow bell. 1.1939 0.04508 98 81 15 2
2563 They think we're taking requests. 1.1939 0.04268 98 80 17 1
2564 It says 'play something by The Police' 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
2565 Damn, another great show tune that will never make it to Broadway. 1.1939 0.04508 98 81 15 2
2566 Just another, same note from the kid in Miami 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
2567 And here's another one from Brian Wilson. 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
2568 My God! Another request for Louie Louie! 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
2569 THEY SENT THE WRONG MUSIC AGAIN! 1.1939 0.04508 98 81 15 2
2570 This is inexcusable. We sent a request for Chopin, but all we get are Mozart symphonies. 1.1939 0.04268 98 80 17 1
2571 As if things weren't difficult enough already. It's Liszt's La Campanella. 1.1939 0.05161 98 84 9 5
2572 Oh, it's just another rejection of our version of South Pacific. 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
2573 Where did you put the metronome? 1.1938 0.03980 129 107 19 3
2574 Honey these ‘experts’ keep writing about ‘rescuing’ us but I just don’t agree with their politics. 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
2575 South Pacific? Is this some kind of sick joke? 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2576 Ugh, this composer needs rescuing more than we do! 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2577 Darn, they cancelled our next gig. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2578 Could we increase the font size just a tad? 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
2579 They want to know if you know anything besides "chopsticks"? 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
2580 Yippee! It's the last chapter of "How to Build Your Own Piano"! So what do you suggest we build next? 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
2581 They all say sing Melanchoy Baby. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2582 Bummer - Hugh Jackman can’t make it. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2583 It's another score for 'Baby Shark.' 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
2584 This one is for a trio as well! What cruel game are they playing? 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2585 Wait a minute!...Dig this: “Can you all do ‘Slow Boat to China’?” 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
2586 Dammit! They sent me more Mozart - I asked for Beethoven. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
2587 Face the music. Your compositions are too insular. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2588 We’re being audited! 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
2589 It's another copy of Two Tickets to Paradise 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2590 Rats! They are all for quartets! 1.1933 0.04182 119 99 17 3
2591 Trouble…we need a triangle 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
2592 I hate taking requests! 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
2593 Another Cardi B song. That makes 99 bottles of pop! 1.1932 0.04233 88 71 17 0
2594 Moving would be a major scale operation. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
2595 Every damned one of these are the "Gilligan's Island" theme. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
2596 They still don't hear a single. 1.1930 0.04294 114 95 16 3
2597 Not another request for a Chopin piano concerto. 1.1930 0.04294 114 95 16 3
2598 Darn, looks like "Message in a Bottle" was already recorded by some band called The Police. 1.1930 0.04109 114 94 18 2
2599 It seems that the Police have sent us an earworm again... 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2600 It’s just the same monotonous note over and over again. Philip Glass is nearby. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
2601 The bastard! He changed the tempo from adagio to allegro ! 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
2602 these notes are sent all out of order. 1.1927 0.04785 109 93 11 5
2603 Ugh! This really is Hell! Every bottle is Maroon 5 music! 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
2604 They're all from Sting and they all have the lyrics to "Message In A Bottle." 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
2605 OK, Gary from Wilmington, North Carolina requests ‘Don’t Cry For Me Argentina.’ 1.1927 0.04219 109 90 17 2
2606 This current sea-mail request was sent only 5 years ago. 1.1927 0.04013 109 89 19 1
2607 Another song in the key of C 1.1927 0.04013 109 89 19 1
2608 Here' some more. But we still need the bridge. 1.1927 0.04416 109 91 15 3
2609 Yo ho, a piracy lawsuit for me. 1.1927 0.04219 109 90 17 2
2610 Here's a good one: "How deep is the ocean...?" 1.1927 0.04785 109 93 11 5
2611 We finally got the right song. But it's the second verse! 1.1923 0.04117 104 85 18 1
2612 It's written for violin... 1.1923 0.04338 104 86 16 2
2613 Expect the coda in the next bottle. 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
2614 How can this be? Another piece written for viola. 1.1923 0.04749 104 88 12 4
2615 They want to hear a recording 1.1923 0.04338 104 86 16 2
2616 Another request for Anchors Away. 1.1923 0.03883 104 84 20 0
2617 I can't believe it! It's another copy of that ABBA song, "S.O.S"! 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
2618 I didn’t know you went to high school in Bali. 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
2619 Our next request is for The Ballad of Gilligan's Isle. 1.1923 0.04548 104 87 14 3
2620 The fine print keeps saying our warranty is about to expire. 1.1920 0.04047 125 104 18 3
2621 'My Heart Will Go On'... Oh, geez; another shipwreck song. 1.1920 0.04355 125 106 14 5
2622 Your prayers are answered, not mine! 1.1920 0.04355 125 106 14 5
2623 Sufjan Stevens claims that if we play this perfectly it will open up a portal to Pluto. The other side has instructions for a paper hat. Which one should we try first? 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2624 Great, more random notes. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2625 I'm starting to think they don't understand our situation 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2626 This one really calls for a tenor voice. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2627 Keep playing! Only ninety-five bottles to go! 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2628 They were all requesting that song at the end of ‘Strangelove’... 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2629 Oh crap. My subscription has ended, now what are we going to do? 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2630 Looks like another request for Jimmy Buffet 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2631 'Don't Worry Be Happy.' again?! 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2632 Well if we do ever get off this Island, you're a shoe in to get into Carnegie Hall 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2633 Not bad...but I think maybe we could use a longer bridge. 1.1919 0.05112 99 85 9 5
2634 These IKEA instructions didn't include the ivory keys 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2635 Do you know "Beyond the Sea?" 1.1919 0.03978 99 80 19 0
2636 Geez…. Another request for “Island Girl” 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2637 I am afraid Rogers and Hammerstein have deserted us! With these lyrics, we're washed up . . . 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2638 I'm nervous, I'm still not happy with the welcome song. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2639 I said we need a shopping list, not a Chopin-Liszt! 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2640 This rondo won't work. We need music that will transport us. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2641 You've gotta play the tune with more tonal distinction to get the bottle. 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
2642 I told you they don’t use the metric system. 1.1917 0.03797 120 98 21 1
2643 They're asking you to play something else. 1.1917 0.03977 120 99 19 2
2644 It's another copy of Wonderwall. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2645 There is to many notes! Everywhere! “You committed young lady! Keep practicing! 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
2646 Once again, hon, this just sounds like rustling palm fronds. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2647 At least we’re not a solo act. 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
2648 Well,at least you remembered the beer. 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
2649 would you believe it? another request for 'message in a bottle' 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
2650 This sea shanty thing is getting on my nerves, frankly. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2651 I wonder what AA stands for. 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
2652 Oh, it's another mid-tempo power ballad. Still nothing with a groove. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2653 Try this one: "Help," by The Beatles 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
2654 All this darn music is for electric pianos. 1.1915 0.04016 141 119 17 5
2655 It's another Cease & Desist from Hall & Oates 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2656 It's a final notice. They're going to repossess our piano. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2657 Another notice about our auto warranty. 1.1913 0.04604 115 98 12 5
2658 I should have updated my deserted island playlist before the cruise. 1.1913 0.04077 115 95 18 2
2659 Cancelling your Spotify account. Step 5 - log in. 1.1913 0.04435 115 97 14 4
2660 Eurgh, Jeez, Strauss, again? What I’d give for a little Snoop Dogg! 1.1913 0.04260 115 96 16 3
2661 I swear I packed the Moonlight Sonata for tonight 1.1913 0.03885 115 94 20 1
2662 I'm just hoping for something a little more upbeat. 1.1913 0.04260 115 96 16 3
2663 How the Captain and Tennille got their big break.... 1.1913 0.04077 115 95 18 2
2664 C A E F# G 1.1910 0.04190 89 72 17 0
2665 It's the sheet music for "We got to get out of this place." 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
2666 It's ANOTHER copy of Islands in the Stream! 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
2667 Here's yet another request for "The Tide is High" 1.1909 0.04379 110 92 15 3
2668 This time let's try it in the quay of sea 1.1909 0.04379 110 92 15 3
2669 They are all Music for Guitar. 1.1909 0.04184 110 91 17 2
2670 It’s just another copy of “Show Me the Way to go Home”. 1.1909 0.03980 110 90 19 1
2671 No luck, babe. We're all out of freebies. It says we have to pay for the next book 1.1909 0.04184 110 91 17 2
2672 Dammit. Macarena again. 1.1909 0.04565 110 93 13 4
2673 5 bottles of waltzes? I’m a singer, not a dancer! 1.1908 0.03924 131 109 19 3
2674 Can you read music? 1.1905 0.04897 105 90 10 5
2675 Can you play some Mozart? It helps me think 1.1905 0.04300 105 87 16 2
2676 I have bottled-messaged these people a hundred times….. We do not do requests! 1.1905 0.04707 105 89 12 4
2677 The reviews are in - they hate our new acoustic stuff. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
2678 We have got to find a good piano tuner. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
2679 Just a friendly reminder of your dental appointment. 1.1905 0.04081 105 86 18 1
2680 Believe me, the sea shanty fad is over. 1.1905 0.04707 105 89 12 4
2681 this is sheet music for the harpsichord. 1.1905 0.04300 105 87 16 2
2682 Cry Me a River? You can say that again. 1.1905 0.04707 105 89 12 4
2683 It says "Play it again, Ilsa 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
2684 Don't we have anything besides Maroon 5? 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
2685 No. Castaway the Musical is never going to be South Pacific. 1.1905 0.04300 105 87 16 2
2686 They must have written the music we need in code. Otherwise, why would there be a piano? 1.1905 0.04300 105 87 16 2
2687 It says "we know where you are... but we not rescuing you until you're fully vaccinated."! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
2688 This one wants three part harmony; I’ll go get the monkey. 1.1905 0.04508 105 88 14 3
2689 He misspelled Mozart 1.1901 0.03769 121 99 21 1
2690 Please use the enclosed floppy disk to discover all that AOL has to offer. 1.1901 0.04440 121 103 13 5
2691 This motherfucker… 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2692 Yep. It's Sting again. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2693 More Notes, but still no Lyrics. Are they insane?? 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2694 D.C. al Fine. Where's Fine? 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2695 Another piece by Bach? Good lord — how many years will we be stranded here without Chopin? 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2696 This one is from the fish; they say that "Chopsticks" is triggering. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2697 Let's see if you can come up with a great score for THESE lyrics! 1.1900 0.03943 100 81 19 0
2698 None of these suggestions are following my instructions. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2699 It's another Christmas carol. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2700 Damn, They keep sending us music for trios and quartets! 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2701 Great rewrite of SEND IN THE CLOWNS. Hope it gets to Stephen before previews. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2702 Can’t believe they did not include swabs in these home test kits. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2703 They keep sending Chopin 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2704 Maybe you should just play Freedbird already. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2705 ...still nothing in C. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2706 Music from the mainland has gotten really derivative 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
2707 It just says "Free Bird" over and over. 1.1897 0.03656 116 94 22 0
2708 It's the lyrics to Aqualung." 1.1897 0.04226 116 97 16 3
2709 Another woodwind quartet piece I'm afraid. 1.1897 0.04226 116 97 16 3
2710 This week's script page doesn't require any music. 1.1897 0.04226 116 97 16 3
2711 Another loser. It's Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture" for woodwind quintet and cannons. 1.1897 0.03855 116 95 20 1
2712 Free Bird! Finally! 1.1897 0.04226 116 97 16 3
2713 Another damn menu! 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
2714 Another movie soundtrack score from South Pacific 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
2715 Do we want to renew our subscription to sheet-music-of-the-month club? 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
2716 Composer says he had an abundance of inspiration. It’s called le Mer 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
2717 Bali Hai,special island….? 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
2718 Is it recital time again? 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
2719 Well hell,Darla I thought we’d settled on a hook! 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
2720 I can't believe it. Another "Chopsticks." 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
2721 Another string quartet? You've got to be kidding me. 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
2722 It's a song by The Police. 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
2723 No Man's Island is the only song that you know how to play! 1.1895 0.04042 95 77 18 0
2724 Another round, Wilson? 1.1892 0.04343 111 93 15 3
2725 Oh Hell no! And another recipe on how to make sour dough bread. But, this one is in Spanish. 1.1892 0.04876 111 96 9 6
2726 It's the zoning bylaw regarding outdoor music. 1.1892 0.04150 111 92 17 2
2727 Somewhere over the Rainbow.. 1.1890</